Relationship Advice.

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/27402256.

Rating: General Audiences

Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: F/M
Fandom: Baka to Test to Shokanju | Baka and Test: Summon the Beasts
Relationship: Kudou Aiko/Tsuchiya Kouta, Kirishima Shouko/Sakamoto Yuuji,
Kinoshita Yuuko/Yoshii Akihisa
Character: Tsuchiya Kouta, Yoshii Akihisa, Kinoshita Hideyoshi, Sakamoto Yuuji,
Shimada Minami, Himeji Mizuki, Kirishima Shouko, Kudou Aiko,
Kinoshita Yuuko
Additional Tags: Relationship Advice, Developing Relationship, These idiots have no
idea how a functioning relationship works, Well a few of them do, Who
they are will surprise you, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Pining Idiots
Language: English
Series: Part 3 of Baka No Test Collection
Collections: Titanmaster_117's Favourite Rare Pairs
Stats: Published: 2020-11-05 Words: 3,727 Chapters: 1/1

Relationship Advice.
by Titanmaster_117

Summary

Kouta needs relationship advice. Suffice to say that he gets quite a... Diverse reaction.

"I need advice."

"On Kudou?"

"Un."

Akihisa looked to the side and blinked, as did the other 3 members of his friend group within Class
F, as he, Yuuji, Minami and Mizuki looked up from their coursework (Well, the latter 3 from their
coursework. Akihisa was too busy doodling giant monsters fighting giant robots in his notebook to
worry about that, thank you very much) To see Kouta talking to Hideyoshi and, for once, not doing
anything perverted to him, like trying to take a picture of his legs or him in a dress or anything.

Yeah, it's bloody shocking, isn't it?

Now, one might be wondering as to why Kouta was acting so different to his usual character in this
instance, and the answer came in the fact that recently, he had Aiko Kudou had recently... Started
dating?
Yeah, it's even more bloody shocking, isn't it?

As it turned out, apparently Aiko had a crush on Kouta, and, coincidentally, Kouta had had a crush
on Aiko as well. And so, once they both realised this, they...

What? They didn't engage in a series of humorous misunderstandings, backbreaking high jinks and
pointless drama and trying to hint at their crushes and delay them getting together for the sake of
pointlessness like in an average harem anime, and instead just decided to do the actually sensible
thing and just get together? Like... Like normal people do?

What is this, black magic?!

However, of course, the FFF got pissy at this, and one thing led to another, and it all culminated in
a maddening misadventure that ended in a rubber chicken covered in paste, all of their hair being
shaved off, something to do with a Ouija board, and a million other things that they all elected to
never speak off every again.

It was safer for their braincells that way.

"I hate to be the one to point out the obvious, but aren't you already in a relationship with her?"

"Un."

"So then... Why are you coming to me for advice?"

"..."

Kouta's eyes looked to the side, slightly nervous, but still keeping his face as plain and stoic as he
could.

"...You have no idea what to do in a relationship, do you?"

"..."

"..."

"...Un."

Hideyoshi pursed his lips, and then went, "Now, don't get me wrong, I'm grateful that you're
coming to me, but... Why are you coming to me? I've never been in a relationship before."

Everyone looked at him as if he had grown another head.

"What?"

"Well, besides that", Kouta began, "You are the best person in Class F to come to, if only for the
fact that you're the most socially intelligent out of all of us."

"Yeah, that's fair."

"Yeah, I can understand that."

"I suppose he has a point."

"Y-Yeah."
Hideyoshi, upon hearing the reactions of the others, then hummed, "Er, okay then?"

"And also you're the most mentally stable."

"Okay that I don't agree with."

"I don't know, he's got a point."

"Are you saying that we're mentally unstable?!"

"M-Maybe not that, Minami."

"...Alright then", Hideyoshi conceded, not really finding any room or reason to argue, and went,
"Alright then, fine, what advice do you want?"

"...What to do in a relationship?"

"...Again, I've never been in a relationship before."

"Un."

"...I have no idea what to do, man. You really are asking the wrong guy", he shrugged, "Dude, I've
never had a girlfriend, I don't know what girls like, and I'm not going to start using my sister as an
example, as I'm fairly certain that-"

"Wait!" Akihisa cried out in shock, "Hideyoshi, are you gay!?"

Hideyoshi just whirled around and stared at him.

"...Is that... Is that a yes?"

"Akihisa, one of these days, I'm going to kill you. I'm going to kill you, and I am going to enjoy it."

"Hideyoshi, now is not the time to be plotting Akihisa's demise. Shelf it for later", Yuuji cut in
with, before turning to Kouta and going, "All of that aside, maybe I could-"

"Class Rep, I respect you as a friend", Kouta began, "But out of all of us, you are the last person to
go to for advice on women, specifically because of the fact that your girlfriend chases you around
with a taser and stalks you to no end."

"Okay, 1, she's not my girlfriend, and 2...", Yuuji looked like he was trying to say something, and
then fell back into his seat, "Yeah, that's a fair point."

"I am not a stalker, I am just protective of my husband."

"SHOUKO! WHEN DID YOU GET HERE!?"

"That is not important, Yuuji."

"Aw, she's protective of her crush! Isn't that sweet?" Minami went as she clasped her hands
together with a smile.

Mizuki copied her actions and replied, "The sweetest!"

"This is also why I did not go to you 2 for advice."

"Wait, what does that mean?" Minami asked, "We're girls, we can give solid advice on how to
please a girl."

"Yeah, and we're friends with Aiko anyways!" Mizuki added in, "We can tell you as much as you
want on how to be in a relationship with her!"

Kouta just quirked an eyebrow, and then pointed to Shouko currently bundling Yuuji into a ball
with rope and threatening him with a marriage contract and taser combo, "You view that as
romantic."

"Yeah, so what?"

"..."

"Um", Hideyoshi raised a finger in concern, and then pointed to the tied up Yuuji, "Should we,
y'know, help him?"

"Nah", Akihisa waved it off, "I'm sure Shouko's got it handled."

"I was referring to Yuuji, actually."

Shouko then looked at the both of them and raised her taser up, letting a crackle of blue light flash
across the tip of it.

"Never mind, I'm good!" Hideyoshi raised his hands up in surrender.

Akihisa joined in, "Yeah, you 2 look like a great couple!"

Shouko then lowered the taser and nodded, "Thank you, Yoshii."

Yuuji just screamed something through the gag that had been put over his mouth, but Shouko
quickly shocked him and sent him to sleep.

She then looked at Kouta and said, "I have been friends with Aiko for a long time as well. I can
also help to give you dating advice."

Kouta looked up at her, his face just as stoic as hers, but on the inside he was preparing for any
advice that would involve a taser, a kidnapping, and a terrified bachelor in a wedding dress. He
didn't really know why the bachelor would be in a wedding dress, but considering that he was part
of Class F, he really wouldn't be surprised by it. If anything, it would be less of a possibility, and
more of an inevitability.

Shouko then picked up Yuuji and held the unconscious, tied up boy close to herself, before going,
"Girls like men who can't get away. Whenever a girl sets their sights on a man, then they will do
anything to keep him, and anything to keep his eyes from wondering.

She lifted up her taser and let it flicker with electricity.

"Anything."

""...""

Hideyoshi then looked at Akihisa, and Akihisa then looked at Hideyoshi.

"You know what's sad?" Hideyoshi whispered to Akihisa, "The fact that all of the girls that we
know in this school can and will murder us if we give them the slightest opportunity."
"Not all of them", Akihisa replied, "There's Hazuki."

"Hazuki doesn't go to this school."

"Oh yeah."

"What was that Aki?" Minami asked with a stink eye.

"Nothing! Nothing! Nothing at all! Nothing about how you and the girls could kill us if you had
the want to BREAK MY BACK OVER YOUR KNEE
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

{CRACK}

Hideyoshi just looked down at the fallen corpse of his friend, and sighed, before slamming his
head into the table in front of him in exasperation, and going, "Why does this happen everyday for
us? Can't we just have a normal day where for once it doesn't end with one of us needing to go to
the hospital?" he then lifted himself up from his now cracked wooden table and groaned, before
pursing his lips again and going, "I've forgotten what we're were originally talking about."

"Me needing advice on how to go out with Aiko", Kouta went.

"Oh yeah..."

"Be timid", Minami went to Kouta, "Girls like timid boys. Ones that they can mould into whatever
they want, and stuff. Plus, timid guys are adorable", she then tapped her chin, and finished off
with, "And kind boys too, girls like kind boys."

"Yeah, so be nice", Mizuki added in, "And also be less pervy. Or, er, less pervy of, er, other girls, I
mean. I mean, if your partner wants you to be pervy to them, then that's fine..."

Minami just looked at Mizuki as if she had grown a second head.

"W-What?"

"Nothing, just... Just overcome with a sudden revelation, that's all."

Kouta had nodded to what Mizuki had, surprisingly to all that were present, said to him, but hadn't
been completely convinced by what Minami had said either (For obvious reasons), And Hideyoshi
decided to try and save the situation by going, "I dunno, man, be a bad boy, or something. I've
heard that girls like bad boys."

"Not true."

Everyone blinked, startled by the sudden interjection, and then looked around, to see Akihisa
sitting up perfectly, as if barely a minute ago, he hadn't just had his back broken in 15 different
places by Minami's incredible strength and backbreaking talents.

"First of all, when people say that girls like bad boys, they mean adventurous boys, not 'Bad boys'.
Bad boys usually end up in prison for a reason, and if a girl was to start dating one of these 'Bad
boys', then they would usually end up going down the same path as them, most of the time into
prison. Now, adventurous boys, on the other hand, like to do all sorts of crazy stuff for the
excitement of it, as well as for the excitement of the girl, but they would never do anything that
breaks the law, so they are the safest people that a girl could want without ending up in a cell.
However, the tastes of a girl usually vary from person to person, so not every girl has the same
tastes or wants. Same with Hirishima, same with Minami, same with Himeji, and same with
Kudou. Now, Kouta, why do you like Kudou?"

"...Huh?" Kouta blinked, before looking to the side, and going, "Because she... She gets me,
y'know? She understands me, and she likes me. She's the same as me, in a way, and I can... I can
just relate to that. She's funny, she's nice to me, and..."

Kouta stopped and blushed, looking to the side whilst Minami and Mizuki cooed, the FFF (Still
beaten up from the misadventure from earlier that shall not be discussed), Simmered in the
background, and Akihisa just nodded and smiled, "You like her for who she is. Now, tell me
Kouta, why does Kudou like you?"

"Huh?" Kouta when, before looking to the side, and going, "I... I don't know."

"She likes you for who you are, Kouta", Akihisa continued on with, "She likes you because you're
a fellow perv, because you're smart, because you're funny, and because you're nice under all of that
stoicism. Relationships are built on mutual interest and mutual trust. You like her for who she is,
and if she had a crush on you beforehand, then that means that she liked you for who you are as
well. So, my advice to you, is to just be yourself, and, in the case of a relationship, just do what we
do best, and wing it."

"But... What if 'Myself'... Isn't what she's into? What if 'Myself' isn't good enough."

Akihisa put a hand on Kouta's shoulder, "If the person that you are wasn't good enough, then
Kudou wouldn't have asked you to be with her. And yet she did, and do you know why? Because
she wanted to be with you, and not someone else. Not Yuuji, not Hideyoshi, not anyone, but you,
and only you."

He then patted Kouta's shoulder, and smiled to him.

"So get out there, be with her, and be yourself. And if she doesn't like you for who you are, then
she doesn't deserve you, but... Well, something tells me that that will never happen."

Kouta looked to Akihisa, and then, with a smile, nodded, "Thanks, Akihisa. That... That actually
helps a lot."

Akihisa just smiled, "Don't worry about it. You're my friends, and friends always help each other
out, wherever it be through fire or ice, heaven or high water, no matter when, and no matter what."

Kouta then nodded again, and then looked to the door, took in a deep breath, and went, "Well, wish
me luck, guys", and then walked out of the classroom and down the hallway, ready to take the first
step in his new relationship.

Akihisa, meanwhile, looked around to his friends around him, to see them looking at him with
mouths agape (Except Shouko, who had a hand over her ever stoic mouth). Even Yuuji had woken
up in his gags and bounds to stare at him in surprise.

"...Oh, er, at least", Akihisa rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment, "At least I think, I
dunno. I should've told Kouta that before he- Before he left, I mean. Man, this is gonna be
awkward for the rest of the day..."

"My my, Yoshii", Shouko went, her hand still over her mouth in surprise, "I did not know that you
were that aware of a girl's heart. I must say, if I had not already devoted my heart and very being to
Yuuji, I might've started falling for you, just because of that speech."
"Wha- K-Kirishima, don't say things like that, please! It's embarrassing, and I don't think that I
even got much of that right, anyways, so please don't waste your time on me! Not that you're,
y'know, going to in the first place..."

"I don't know, Aki, that was really heart warming", Minami said with a dusting of pink and red
over her cheeks", And really endearing."

"Yeah, it was really sweet", Hideyoshi responded with a smile of his own, "If you talked to
everyone like that, you'd probably end up charming almost all of the girls in school."

"H-Hideyoshi, please don't talk like that! I don't think I'd even be able to talk to any other girls in
the first place, besides you guys!"

"I'm not even mad enough to make a comment about that."

"W-Well, Yoshii was popular back in elementary school", Mizuki got out with a blush of her own,
"And for no wonder as well. Ho-Honestly, it's surprising that you haven't had a girlfriend yet."

"Huh? But I have."

The room went silent. Quiet. Dead quiet. A lack of noise filled the room and the silence was so
deafening that one could hear a pin drop and bounce on the floor.

"W...", Minami began, "What was that?"

"I've, er, I've had a girlfriend before."

"""""..."""""

"What?"

"YOU HAD A GIRLFRIEND?!" Minami cried out as she grabbed him by the shoulders and began
to shake him rapidly, "WHEN WAS THIS?! HOW WAS THIS!? WHAT, WHEN, WHERE,
HOW, WHY, WHO, WHAT?!"

"Y-Yeah! When was that, Akihisa?!" Mizuki called out next to her, "You never said that you were
in a relationship before!"

"I- Ow!- Never- Ow!- Thought- Ow!- It- Ow!- Was- Ow! That- Ow! Important- OW!" Akihisa
went as Minami finally stopped shaking him like a maraca, and then, once he finally collected
himself once more, then went, "And even then, it only lasted for more than a year! We both
realised that we were better off as friends and seeing other people, and left it at that!"

"O-Oh, well then", Minami went in embarrassment, as she then wheeled back and said, "Right,
right... Sorry, I just- That's a bit shocking, I suppose."

"Yeah, I never knew that Yoshii had a girlfriend before", Mizuki got out, "It's all a bit surprising, is
all."

"Yeah, I'm shocked as well", Hideyoshi went, "I never thought that you'd ever be able to get into a
relationship."

"WAIT, WHY ARE ALL OF YOU SO SHOCKED BY THE FACT THAT I'VE BEEN IN A
RELATIONSHIP BEFORE?!"

"Because we never thought that you would ever be able to be in one."

"WELL THAT JUST HURTS MY FEELINGS!?"

"This is turning into a very surprising day", Shouko then came out with, "I never knew that there
would be this many shocking revelations in a single day, much less 10 minutes", she paused,
pondering something as she continued to snuggle to the tied up Yuuji- Who had, at this point,
resigned himself to his fate- And then asked, "What was she like, this previous girlfriend of yours?"

Everyone in their little circle then turned to Akihisa expectantly, leaving Akihisa to mule over her
question, to which, he continued to tap his chin, and went, "You know, I... It's hard to remember. I
mean, we had gotten together when we were really little, so it's... Hard to remember."

He let his head rest against the locker behind him. To his surprise, no one interrupted him.

"But, what I do remember, is what she said to me", he paused, and then continued on with, "That
thing that I told Kouta… That's what she said to me. Or at least, a variation of it. She told me once
that the best person that we could ever be was the person that we already were. She told me that
the only way that we can be the best people that we could ever hope to be, was to help everyone
else in being the very best people that they could ever be."

He reached his hand up to the light flowing through the broken windows, letting the light dance
between his fingertips.

"Since she told me that... Since we split apart... I swore that I would follow in her footsteps."

He gave a sad smile.

"And I'm still trying."

"I don't know, this is all just... I'm just worried. I've- I've never been in a relationship before! What
if I... What if I screw it up? What if he actually doesn't like me at all?"

"Aiko, if he had a crush on you beforehand, just as you had on him, then that means that he has the
same interest in you that you do for him. Now, can you tell me why you had a crush on Tsuchiya
beforehand?"

"Er, well... It's because he understands me. I mean, me and him, him and I... We're like 2 peas in a
pod. We just... We work well together, you know. He just... He's one of the few people out there
who just understands me... And, he's smart, he's funny, and he's adorable. Like a little puppy, if you
would."

There was a giggle on the other side of the table, "Well, I guess so. Now, do you know why he fell
for you, Aiko?"

"Ah... Um... I-I don't know."

"Because, if he had an interest in you beforehand, then that means that he saw you and fell for the
real you. The real Aiko. The best Aiko. You. The you that's smart, that's a tease, that's kind and
compassionate, that can keep up with him and understand him, and be there for him, just as he will
be there for you, every step of the way. That, I can guarantee."

"I-I-I don't know, I don't know. What if he- What if he just doesn't like me, y'know?" Aiko let her
head rest against the table, a look on her face that was divided between confused, concerned, and
scared, "What if he... What if he... I mean, we're going to be spending a lot of time together, aren't
we? We're going to be seeing the real us a lot soon, aren't we? What if... What if he sees me for
who I really am and decides that I'm not good enough."

"If the person that you are wasn't good enough, then he wouldn't have had a crush on you in the
first place. And if he does decide that you're not good enough, then he doesn't deserve to be with
you, and I'll break his fingers for you. So get out there, and be the very best person that you can
be."

"And... Who's that?"

"Yourself."

Aiko blinked, and wiped a stray tear of fear from her eye, a wobbly smile on her face, "Thanks,
Yuuko. You always know what to say to a girl."

The eldest Kinoshita sibling smiled in turn, "Don't worry about it. You're my friends, and friends
always help each other out, wherever it be through fire or ice, heaven or high water, no matter
when, and no matter what."

Aiko nodded in turn, but the 2 of them were then interrupted by someone at the door to Class A,
one of their fellow members, and going, "Pardon me, but there's a blue haired boy out here asking
for Kudou Aiko?"

The girl in question blinked in surprise, and then turned to Yuuko and gave her a shaky thumbs up,
"Wish me luck?"

Yuuko nodded, "Good luck", and then let Aiko take her leave, walking towards and out of the
door, towards a certain blue haired boy that had an equally worried, but happy look on his face.

The door closed shut swiftly afterwards, leaving their fate unknown to all but them.

Yuuko sat back, and let out a happy sigh, before turning her head to the window, and looking at the
rays of light that poured through like an ocean.

You once told me that, you know...

She lifted her hand up, and threw it in front of the light, letting its rays dance between her
fingertips.

I wish I could remember your name, or even your face, but... You told me that once, about how
friends should always stick together... How they should always be there for each other... How you
should help a friend out no matter what... Since you told me that... Since we split apart... I swore
that I would follow in your footsteps.

She gave a sad smile.

And I'm still trying.

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