Book Review

A Million Kisses In Your Lifetime

By Monica Murphy

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A Million Kisses In Your Lifetime, painting by Dan Colen
I have read over three hundred books in the past year alone, and never have I ever forced
myself to finish a book.. until now. I pride myself in being able to enjoy every book that I
have laid eyes on, as silly or chaotic as they may be. However, nothing could have possibly
prepared me for the atrocity that ‘A Million Kisses In Your Lifetime’ turned out to be.

A Million Kisses In Your Lifetime, written by Monica Murphy, is a social media sensation
amongst readers. With every book related to Tiktok, a quote or scene from the book
would follow. You would find thousands of likes on videos claiming the characters were so
lovable and favored, and that the plot was engaging and brilliant. I beg to differ. The
reasoning will be explained further on.

The story takes place at the most prestigious boarding school in California, Lancaster
Prep. We follow closely through dual points of view the heroine, Wren Beaumont ‘Birdy’,
and Crew Lancaster. As one might infer, Crew’s family is the wealthiest in the country,
and his family owns the very school he attends.

The novel is based around the turbulent and confusing relationship that grows between
seniors Wren and Crew. Since the first day of freshman year, Wren irritated Crew in a way
he could not explain. Granted, she wasn’t doing anything to irk him on purpose, but
something about her kindness, beauty, grace, and naïvety sent him off the edge. The way
she’d walk in everyday with a smile to all, except him of course, and the way that she
would preach women’s rights, and the importance of independence and personal growth;
Crew speculated it all, and wanted to know what kind of secret “little miss perfect” was
hiding.

Psychology class takes a positive turn for Crew when he is paired with Wren in an
assignment designed to get to know the other person on an incredibly personal level. This
meant that they would have to work in not only close proximity, but be close overall.
Hesitant at first, their exchanges are acrimonious and contain plenty of backbiting and
frustration. However, when the innocent Wren finally steals a kiss from the notorious
ladies man of Lancaster Prep, every aspect of her life begins to change. Could all the
dislike simply be veiled attraction?

It is, and it makes no sense.

The themes presented in the novel are money and power, control and trust, and love.
Money and power are shown through the constant reminder from the infamous Crew that
his parents own the school and he can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants, and
without reprimand. In this book, money is the basis of everything. People who go to the
school are all rich with parents who could destroy one another. Additionally, money and
power is the source of strain between relationships. Crew’s father being the richest in the
country, he leaves no room for his son in his life, but is also constantly on Crew’s back to
be better and stop messing around. The Beaumonts are incredibly wealthy as well, but
Wren’s father, Harvey, remains absent due to his high status job in real estate. This leads
them to have an unstable relationship which follows into the next theme.

Control and trust are illustrated in the novel’s conflict with Harvey. It is the main turning
point of the book that is presented from the very start. Harvey wants Wren to be his little
girl forever, so he makes her promise herself to him, and to show that, she wears a ring.
Very, very creepy. Even far away, he controls every aspect of her life. He controls who she
talks to and who she can’t talk to. He continuously invades his eighteen year old’s privacy
by going through her icloud, and then gets furious at her “distrust” of going out with
someone he warned her about. Then, when Crew buys her her dream birthday gift, Harvey
says it’s from him. For some reason, this is the most terrible and horrific thing to happen
in Wren’s life, so when she finds out, she confronts her dad screaming in his face that he
is a liar and pathetic. The drama was so unnecessary.

If a book is awful, the love aspect of it usually acts as a savior. However, this book is the
most unfortunate exception. The love was so.. poorly developed. They started with
absolutely hating each other for no reason, as every enemy to lovers' books does. Then,
the only way they begin to get along is by him pressuring her to tell him her traumas.
What? By now, the romance is strictly the fact that Crew can’t have her and he can’t have
that. So now he forces her out with him all day everyday, and this somehow forms a love
between them. After only a few weeks, she begins risking her life for him, so by doing
whatever he likes and not what she’s comfortable with, he falls madly in love? He buys her
a new Chanel lipstick or bag everyday, takes her on spontaneous trips, and so much more.

Character development was non-existent. They were changing for the worst. Wren
originally promoted women’s rights and self-growth, then after meeting Crew, she
suddenly switched a full 180 degrees. She destroyed her relationship with her parents for
Crew, she disregarded her morals and went against everything she ever spoke for, and
became an unrecognizable person at school to her teachers. All of this under Crew’s
influence.
There is so much more I could oppose when it comes to this novel, however, for the sake
of everyone’s well being, the rest can be saved for later. This book lacked substantial
conflict or any resolution at all, and the characters were dense and shallow all at once.