Marriage and Family De La Salle - College of Saint Benilde Class Notes UNIVERSAL CALL TO HOLINESS © Matthew 5:38-42 Exegesis - taking out the meaning of the text ‘Love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you' - for he makes his sun rise on the bad and the good; be holy, because your father is holy Perfection - holy Dogmatic Constitution on the Church - you can be holy in your own little way, actualization of charity The fruit of love St. Francis de Sales - universal call to holiness All people are called to holiness, and can carry out lives of devotion according to each person's individual position and state in life (married, widowed, laborer, businessperson. etc.) Geneva, Switzerland Zealous for the salvation of souls (esp fallen away Catholics) Naturally hot tempered - he learned to control it and was known for his gentle, loving spirit and approachable ways © Gifted spiritual director, writer, catechist and preacher Carlo Acutis Do the right thing, at the right time, with the right attitude, for the love of God and neighbor © Christian devotion in daily life; devotions - vehicles to living a holy life © Duty done well © Relationship with others © Loving God and neighbor * 6 Principles of the Call to Holiness © The human person oriented to God = Acknowledge God © God's goodness permeates = Balanced life = Response to God's will (live in joy, not mourning) = Perfection of Christian life consists in conforming our will with that of our good Lord's © Allare called to find God = Effort- bloom where you are planted = Open hearts and mind = Discover God on one another © God in the midst of our lives = Human experience: God does not force a Free to love, free to choose, free to grow© Christian life is a journey of the heart = Heart of Jesus is the meeting place of devout souls a Love attracts all to do good = Love what they love and they (God) will love who you love! ¢ — Alllittle things in life have value Little virtues: hidden process of spiritual growth Meet Jesus at the cross Self mortification/fasting (self-discipline) Unseen, but heroic Gaudete et Exsultate; (Rejoice and Be Glad) © Onthe Call to Holiness in Today's World © 3rd Apostolic Exhortation * “Tore-propose the call to holiness in a practical way for our own time, with all its risks, challenges and opportunities” (GE 2) © What lies true joy and freedom - source of Holiness (Jesus Christ) * Encourages us to look to the Beatitudes as guide Joy and Problems - how we relate to each other © 4kinds of relationships ©. Friendship - begins when one discovers that somebody cares; trust; makes effort; inspire to do good or right; presence © Infatuation - involves sexual attraction or feelings; intersted, involved, in love, intimate, and intercourse; painful/depressing experience; comparing infatuation and love © Love - most misunderstood words of all - abused word; there are days that you don't love the person; give time; patience; support; concern; care; understanding; giving of oneself (sexual relationship - participating to life); loving is giving; sometimes, giving is not always love - spoiled; for the good of the person/help the person to be better (love); self-interest; grow together; endure the test of time (encompasses everything) © Exploitation - based on selfishness; using people like objects to benefit yourself directly or indirectly; rape, incest, pornography, prostitution, child abuse, cybersex crime © Big IF - Infatuation and Friendship © Should be balanced; if infatuation prevails - exploitation usually occurs © Courting + Dating comparison © Four processes leading to marriage Friendship - 2-6 years Courtship - involving parents and friends/ leading to commitment Engagement - announcement of marriage intention/ dialogue is very important Marriage - lifetime commitment/ relationshipCalled to True Love © Fundamental and innate vocation of every human being Chastity © Profoundly related to our personal identity and destiny © Self mastery © Agrace and a gift for those who request it © Can be maintained only through effort, honesty and prayer © Marks the entire personality of a human being © Personal integrity Church © Not concerned © So good and important to personal freedom, social life, and human happiness © Human sexuality is sacred Relationships (proper use of sexuality) © Dignity © Commitment © Permanency > Stability > Openness to children Safe sex © Get married and be faithful Casual sex (consensual sex) © Clouded judgment + confusion ©. Intense break ups + depression © Damage current and future relationships Safe sex = save sex © Avoid immorality Chastity © To avoid: = Pregnancy Hurry-up wedding adoption/abortion Guilt STD Cancer of cervix Hazards of birth control Self-induced sterility Being used Loss of reputation Ruining your future Modesty Secondary virgin© Change of life (360 degrees turn of life) © Desire to be forgiven and to confession © Tochange ©. Detach from old habits True love and chastity 7 sacraments signs and symbols © *Liturgical colors a Depending on the season or anniversary = Wedding: white © 7is a perfect number in the bible co Sacrament = God's presence (physical and spiritual - holy eucharist) Loving presence Visible and tangible (an experience of the human senses) Large'S’ sacrament An outward sign instituted by Christ to give grace © Symbols and rituals m= Cross - very important image in the church a Symbols - represents something else a Rituals - series of repeated symbolic actions © Effects of each sacrament = Baptism - main effect is initiation into the church/cleanses a person from original sin = Candle - being the light for both partners and God's presence/ Christ Relationships © Smart man + smart woman - romance © Smart man + dumb woman - affair © Dumb man + smart woman - marriage © Dumb man + dumb woman - pregnancy © Happiness - man - understand a lot + love a little/woman - love her a lot + not understand © Longevity - Importance of marriage in the church Family - important in our lives Filipino family - Philippine origin Family closeness Filipino hierarchy‘Sacrament of Marriage is a sacrament Same sex marriage is not allowed. To be free © Not being under constraint © Not impeded by any civil or Church law Without free consent there is no marriage © Consent must be free or coercion or grave external fear © Noone has the right to force a person to et married against their free will for any reason Being in love is the only reason for getting married, Marriage involves, © sacrifice Lifetime commitment Giving good example Reality of sin Prayer Money Self-love and self-rejection Frustration and aggression Trials and suffering Vocation - What does God want me to be? The call to live a happy life — life calling of every person Understand where your vocation comes from — two creation stories Everyone has gifts and talents needed to fulfill their vocation For the good of the society Types of vocation © Marriage as vocation Religious as vocation Ministerial priesthood The Christian/Muslim/Buddhist vocation Single life as a vocation © Life everlasting Soulmate © Difficult to attain but not impossible Too much emphasis on happiness — as a kind of entitlement, rather than on the hard work needed to sustain a successful marriage For better or for worse © Problems — working through them together brings you closer as a couple, strengthens your relationship and keeps you together. Soulmate — marriage © Call from God * God's idea © Vocation, covenant, God Two purpose when creating humans: © Companionship © Procreation 0° 0°What God has joined together to let no man put asunder? Divorce — destroy marriages and family © No such thing as absolute right © Abuse of free will - evil Joy of championship Marriage - interdependent Love is a decision — to choose to love © Disillusionment We have a choice: © Refuse to share our feelings © Torise above them, with the possibility of experiencing joy Covenant © Marriage is a covenant of unconditional love © Respond in love © “Love one another as I loved you" © Jesus death on the Cross is the sign of the greatest evidence of God's unconditional covenant love for us © Carry the cross of each other ©. Carry the burden of others but do not be a burden to others Marriage is a covenant ©. Dying to self for the sake of relationship Marriage is a sacrament Holy trinity ©. The Father © The Son © THe Holy Spirit Third party — God We seek God © We encounter Him in the holy eucharist = Bread and wine