12

SURFING FOR SPOUSES

Marriage Websites and the ‘New’ Indian Marriage?

RavindeR KauR with PRiti dhanda

INTRODUCTION
In India, as in much of South Asia, marriage remains an important rite of
passage in an individual’s life. To the vast majority, it grants social adulthood
and sets the stage for the grihastha (householder) stage of life, across regions
and religions. he marriage ceremony calls upon every possible social obliga­
tion, kinship bond, sentiment and economic resource. Almost 90 per cent of
marriages in India remain arranged (Mullatti 1995) and family, particularly
parental, involvement in arranging marriage is a continuing norm.1 Writing
recently, Sharangpani notes, ‘he arranged marriage system is a patriarchal
artefact invested in maintaining caste purity, class privileges and gender hier­
archy’ (2010: 270–71). While this description correctly implies that arranged
marriages are endogamous, within class, and retain the superiority of wife­
takers over wife­givers and of husbands over wives, it fails to capture two
other important aspects of marriage in India. First, arranging marriages of
their adult progeny is a peculiarly south Asian ‘inter­generational contract’
entered into by parents, leading to a sense of mutual obligation between the
generations.2 Indeed, children may resent parents who ‘fail in their duty’ to
ind them spouses, and the society holds such parents responsible for having
reneged on this important duty. Equally, the obligation of parents to arrange
matches confers on them the opportunity to exercise power and control over

13 Chp-12.indd 271 10/8/2013 5:04:10 PM

 272 Kaur with Dhanda

children and provides them with avenues to further personal welfare and family
mobility goals (Bourdieu 1977).3 Hence, parental involvement in arranging
matches remains a tightly protected privilege in India.4 Second, Sharangpani’s
description (2010) does not pay suicient attention to the deviations from the
norm that are beginning to challenge traditional boundaries of caste, com­
munity and family arranged marriages as well as equations within marriages.
It is in the above contexts that an analysis of the contemporary modes and
processes of arranging marriages assumes great importance. Matchmaking
in India has evolved over the decades from being a face­to­face process in
which family and community were intimately involved, to one in which more
anonymous media such as newspaper advertisements (which emerged during
the colonial period), and most recently, technically sophisticated, internet­
enabled matrimonial websites are involved. In addition to the above, marriage
bureaus and marriage fairs of various castes and communities5 provide other
modes of arranging matches. India’s culturally and developmentally varied
landscape ensures that multiple modes of matchmaking continue to survive
side by side.
his essay is about matchmaking through internet websites, a new mode
that is inding rapid and widespread adoption among families and marriage­
able youth. From a single matchmaking website, shaadi.com, set up in 1996, the
industry has proliferated rapidly to include about 1500 such websites (Pal 2010).
he most popular are shaadi.com (the pioneer website), bharatmatrimony.
com,6 jeevansaathi.com, simplymarry.com, lifepartner.com, etc. According to
the market research ‘A Web Partner for Life’, the online matrimonial industry
was expected to reach 20.8 million registrations with revenues of $ 63 million
by 2010–2011 (EmPower Research LLC 2008). he IT recession of 2000 which
devastated many industries under its ambit, let the matrimonial website
business untouched. Such websites are also increasingly the most popular
mode of matchmaking among diasporic Indians.

DO MODERN TECHNOLOGIES YIELD MODERN MARRIAGES?

Matchmaking through internet websites raises several important questions
about the nature of contemporary marriage in India. If matrimonial websites
represent a globalising face of marriage, are marriages arranged through the
use of this sophisticated modern technology—which allows easy maintenance
of large databases of eligible grooms and brides, and boasts of the ‘state of
art’ proprietary algorithms driving the matching process—‘modern’? If
individualism, choice and equality are considered central features of western
modernity, in what ways is Indian marriage moving towards the above ideals?
Do website­based marriages unite like­minded persons across the barriers

13 Chp-12.indd 272 10/8/2013 5:04:10 PM

 Suring for Spouses 273
of class, caste, community, region and religion? Has matchmaking agency
shited substantially from parents to the marrying individuals? Are more such
marriages based on self­choice? Are the resulting marriages more gender
equal? (Giddens 1994) How diferent is such matchmaking from that mediated
by newspaper advertisements, marriage brokers, extended family, friends or
traditional ‘go­betweens’? Do changing ideas and ideals of courtship, intimacy
and conjugality make the internet a preferred mode? Is the technology itself
facilitating incipient new ideas of intimacy and marriage? How does the
interactive nature of the medium inluence the matchmaking process?
In order to answer some of these questions, the essay does three important
things: irst, it explains how marriage websites work as matchmakers. Second,
using data obtained from one national matrimonial website, it explores the
social proile and trends among users of this technology. hird, based on
analysis of proiles posted on a popular website and interviews with couples
who looked for spouses on the internet or whose marriages were arranged
through the internet, the essay explores answers to some of the questions
raised.
Our study inds that a prominent reason for seeking matches through the
internet is to access a greater selection of marriage partners and to ind spouses
who fulill an ever growing and diverse wish list of spouse characteristics. We
also ind that the technology of internet matchmaking seems to result in two
distinct kinds of marriages—those that re­inscribe traditional community
norms and criteria of caste, region, religion, language, class and others that
transgress many of these. In the former, despite the fact that the new technology
places greater power and agency in the hands of youth, the family continues
to play a large role, while in the latter the role of the family is drastically
reduced and oten nulliied. We also ind that the latter set of marriages involve
somewhat older individuals in their 30s, who are generally urban professionals
and for whom individual compatibility matters more than social conformity.
For such individuals, the meaning of marriage has deinitely transformed
and the ideas of self­choice and companionate marriages seem to have taken
hold. Both types of marriages employ modernity in diferent ways—the
irst, through their use of modern technology to arrange marriages in which
marriage fundamentally remains a family strategy to pursue individual and
collective mobility goals and to reproduce the social group (Bourdieu 1977)
and the second, in allowing individuals to challenge traditional marriage and
pursue a vision of more egalitarian marriage. he process of matchmaking
through the internet remains, however, a gendered one, privileging men more
than women.

13 Chp-12.indd 273 10/8/2013 5:04:10 PM

 274 Kaur with Dhanda

EMERGENCE AND GROWTH OF THE WEB-BASED

MATCHMAKING INDUSTRY
Narrating how he came up with the idea of shaadi.com, the founder, Anupam
Mittal, explains that it was a chance encounter with a marriage broker that
led him to the idea of starting a marriage website. He researched the ‘business
model’ of the traditional matchmaker to discover that the latter went door
to door within his community and to people he knew, and carried resumes
with him. Essentially, the choice of a life partner was determined by how
far the matchmaker could travel and how much weight he could carry. He
wondered what would happen if one did away the spatial and geographical
limitations by putting up proiles on the internet instead (Roy Choudhury
2007).
he idea was so successful that by 2008, shaadi.com had over 10 million
members and claimed 8,01,764 success stories. he online marriage websites
service appeared to respond to the needs of an ever growing tech­savvy
population located anywhere in the world. Shaadi.com was quickly followed
by bharatmatrimony.com. Once their success became evident, a veritable
proliferation of websites has taken place exploiting every angle of a segmented
and checkered marriage market. Specialised matrimonial websites catering
to groups and categories of people based on caste, ethnicity, region and
religion have sprung up with great rapidity. Some examples are jatland.com,
brahminsmatrimony.com, chennaimatrimony.com, tamilmatrimony.com,
sindhimatrimony.com, etc. New ‘boutique’ websites cater to very rich, busy
people such as IndianMillionaireMarriages.com or to those holding or seeking
spouses with H1B (US work visas) status. Some websites focus on those on the
margins of ‘normal’ marriage, such as secondmarriage.com, nodowry.com,
etc. he popularity of secondmarriage.com may suggest a liting of taboos
against remarriage of divorcees, widowers and widows.
Web use surveys suggest that between 12 and 15 per cent of internet
users in India now search for spouses online (Mathur 2007). Most of them
are well­to­do, upwardly­mobile professional youth between the ages of 21
and 35 (Adams and Ghosh 2003; Chatterjee 2007; Shukla and Kapadia 2007).
Seventy per cent of users of marriage websites are from the ‘urban consuming
class’, according to the 2008 Online Matrimony Report (JuxtConsult 2008).
According to this report, little more than half of all internet users are under
25 years of age. Most net users are salaried workers, automobile owners and
have personal computers or laptops at home, implying a fairly high level of
income irrespective of location. According to the same report, only 11 per
cent of matrimonial website users visit generic portals for seeking spouses. he
bulk 89 per cent opt for ‘specialised’ matrimonial websites. In 2008, 49 per cent

13 Chp-12.indd 274 10/8/2013 5:04:10 PM

 Suring for Spouses 275
of people going online visited a matrimonial website; this being one of 10 most
popular online activities.

EXPANDING GEOGRAPHIC REACH OF MARRIAGE WEBSITES

With the growth of internet in the country, users of matrimonial websites
have spread from metropolitan cities to non­metros, with the percentage of
non­metro users increasing to about 60 per cent of the total registrants on
websites in the past few years. Interestingly, the bulk of regular internet online
users come from non­metro towns (JuxtConsult 2008). As a result, internet
matrimonial websites are beginning to compete successfully with other
matchmaking channels. In our sample from one national website, while 40 per
cent of the registrants were from metros, 60 per cent came from non­metros.
Websites are able to spread their network into small towns and rural areas
by providing oline assistance to people though kiosks. hus, kiosks, such as
‘ShaadiPoints’ by shaadi.com, fulill the needs of those who lack net access or
computer skills. Advertising on television channels by many marriage portals
has further extended their reach.

COMPRESSING SPACE: THE TRANSNATIONAL MIDDLE CLASS

he compression of space and time resulting from the internet revolution
has reconigured human life in many ways. And marriage is no exception.
Marriage websites have transformed the marriage market from a local,
regional and national to a global one. NRIs, as an ethnic transnational
middle class,7 comprise a large section of the users of matrimonial websites
(Sharma 2006; Adams and Ghosh 2003; Chatterjee 2007). Sites speciically
dedicated to NRI brides and grooms are extremely popular in the southern
states of India, where bharatmatrimony.com is a favourite website. Such
marriages lend credence to the claim of portability of the Indian family
system and Indian values outside India (Uberoi 1998).8 Matrimonial websites
allow NRIs a means of reproducing such values and traditional marriage.
Sharma (2006) argues that they also provide diasporic south Asians loci for
practising identity and producing community, in the face of assimilation or
acculturation by host cultures. At the same time, it allows them to practise
‘nation’ with the homeland no longer being a distant memory, but to be
actively engaged with. In India, websites allow Indian parents and youth
easier access to green card holders or foreign spouses; it allows them to
fulill dreams of mobility through spatially hypergamous marriages. Yet,
the dangers inhering in international marriages, where veriiability remains
inadequate, do not vanish and individuals face the same vulnerabilities as in
broker­arranged NRI marriages.

13 Chp-12.indd 275 10/8/2013 5:04:10 PM

 276 Kaur with Dhanda

‘DOING’ MATCHMAKING THROUGH THE INTERNET:

FINDING THE ‘RIGHT’ PERSON
Can machines replace the indigenous knowledge bank of the ghatak or the
vichola (Majumdar 2004), the community matchmakers who carried around
portfolios of grooms and brides, and who knew family histories going back
several generations? he role of the internet in matchmaking begins with
potential brides and grooms posting proiles on a selected website. Most
marriage websites are keen to distinguish their identity from dating websites.
hey actively discourage ‘non­serious’ users who may not have marriage in
mind. hey also take great care to ensure that misuse of proiles does not take
place and seek to establish the trust of the spouse­seekers. hus, websites make
available stringent security settings to their clients, allowing access only to
those who pay to register, and communication is allowed only ater mutual
consent. Given the sensitivity of reputations in the marriage market, and until
recently, the stigma associated with looking for a match through the internet,
establishing trust and conidence becomes essential for such websites.
Websites use sophisticated mathematical formulae to match character­
istics and make information available to clients.9 A proprietary algorithm is
used through which websites generate similar matches in the hope that this
will give them an edge over competitors. A simple search can be performed
based on caste or religion; a more complex one allows matching of education,
occupation, income and other such criteria. To ine tune the match even more
closely to desired characteristics, people can also perform searches based on
‘lifestyle’ attributes such as complexion, diet, smoking or drinking habits or
search for only manglik10 proiles or those based on marital status. All these
search criteria can be mixed and matched to ilter out the proiles itting a
user’s choice. his search optimisation is so eiciently developed that users
get to see the results in a fraction of seconds, eliminating ‘undesirable’ proiles
and giving users access to the proiles suiting their criteria. his increases the
eiciency and reduces the ‘residence’ time, i.e. the time gap between registering
and inding a match through the website.
While allowing users to search for matches by themselves, the websites
also recommend ‘potential matches’ among other users/members based on
the member’s description of his/her desired partner through a psychometric
study of the members—the kind of proiles they visit, searches they make
and members they accept for further communication. he websites provide
members with recommendations/match alerts. Most oten these match alerts
are very helpful in bringing more proiles to the user from the huge database
that these portals possess. While websites deinitely provide greater choice,
and of the desired sort, spouse­seekers and their families still need to protect

13 Chp-12.indd 276 10/8/2013 5:04:10 PM

 Suring for Spouses 277
themselves against fraudulent proiles and be discriminating enough to make
the right choice.

USER PATTERNS AND WHAT THEY TELL US ABOUT SPOUSE-SURFERS

Who are the people who seek brides and grooms through the net? Based on
a sample of 1300 individuals who posted their proiles on a major national
website on a single day, this section looks at age, gender, caste, religion and
income proile of this user group.

Age and Marital Status

Most of the registrants belonged to the age groups 18–27 (54 per cent) and 28–
37 (42 per cent). hus, roughly half were in the expected age range for marriage
for the urban middle class and half were older. Ninety­ive per cent of the total
number of the members registered had never been married and divorcees/
widow(er)s formed the rest. All were above 18, the legal age for marriage
in India where 35 is oten considered as the outer edge of being eligible for
marriage. A small percentage of people (4 per cent) were over 38 years of age.
he internet thus seems to be opening up possibilities for older individuals,
who can rely on their own agency to seek a companion or a spouse. Websites
like secondmarriage.com also provide opportunities to individuals who may
have lost their spouse or got divorced late in life and wish to marry again.11

Gender
Our data show that searching for a spouse through an internet portal is
heavily skewed in favour of males, with males representing 73 per cent of
those posting proiles, while females represented a meagre 27 per cent of the
total members.12 his is easily understood in the context of prevailing family,
kinship and gender norms, especially as they shape the social construction of
women’s marriage. he marriageable girl is seen to be much more vulnerable
and there is need to protect her reputation, which has an important bearing
on her marital prospects. Women worry about the misuse of their internet
proiles and providing access to those whose attention is unwelcome. Many
women initially post themselves under a pseudonym. Yet, the fact that 27 per
cent of proiles posted were those of women implies that a suiciently large
number of parents/women perceive gains from seeking a spouse through the
net as outweighing the risks of tarnishing their reputation. What may further
signal a trend towards change is that a signiicant 43 per cent of the women
had posted their proiles themselves.13 Interestingly, NRI women replicate the
national trend with fewer posting on matrimonial websites than males. Of the

13 Chp-12.indd 277 10/8/2013 5:04:10 PM

 278 Kaur with Dhanda

13 per cent, who had posted on this website between 2005 and 2007 and were
NRIs, only 20 per cent were women.
Some respondents interviewed informally conirmed that marriage
websites were the last resort while looking for a spouse and this was even more
so with women. Chatterjee (2007: 23) also mentions that ‘social stigma’ may
be attached to the use of websites for marriage. Many people shy away from
revealing that they have posted proiles on marriage websites. Yet, our case
studies reveal that women persuaded parents to post their proiles on websites
to look for more suitable grooms.

Education, Occupation and Gender

Women posted on the website had higher educational qualiications than men.
Over 45 per cent of the women held a Masters degree and 38 per cent had
a Bachelors degree, whereas in the case of men these numbers were 33 per
cent and 44 per cent respectively. Even though women’s education remains
oriented to marriage among a large section of Indians (evident also in the fact
that 25 per cent of the women in the sample showed no income of their own),
it is more likely that better­qualiied women have greater diiculty in inding
appropriate matches and hence are turning to the net for greater choice. hirty
per cent of these women were employed in areas of education, medical and
health services and in the IT sotware industry. Most of the male applicants
had jobs in the services sector of the economy as well. In our sample, over
12 per cent of the women posted on the net were students. Interestingly, 95 per
cent of the male members either did not state a preference for a working/non­
working wife or did not care about the working status of the prospective bride,
which appears contradictory given the educational proile of those posting
and the desire for upward mobility in the middle class.

Income and Class

As the JuxtConsult (2008) report states, most internet users are members of
the ‘urban consuming class’. It is obvious that those who are using the internet
to seek a spouse are individuals with fairly high education, income and class
status. he majority of users in our sample fell within a wide range of monthly
income between INR 50,000 and INR 3,00,000. Of the total women members
25 per cent reported no income, while only a miniscule percentage of men did
so.
Most of the registered members described themselves as belonging to the
upper middle (38 per cent) and the middle class (32 per cent), though 25 per
cent of the users decided not to disclose their family class status. In summary,
most registrants on websites were 21–35 years old, generally male, upwardly

13 Chp-12.indd 278 10/8/2013 5:04:10 PM

 Suring for Spouses 279
mobile professionals and familiar with the internet. A large number of these
were NRIs, for whom this provides a way of connecting with the community
back home and in other parts of the world (Chatterjee 2007; Adams and Ghosh
2003). Given the large number of people in the Indian middle class now, this
proile is not surprising.14

Caste
Caste remains a crucial variable in inding a match; the websites have space
to specify caste and sub­caste and as many as 248 caste names were available
in a drop­down menu for registrants to choose from, including castes
among Hindus, Muslims, Christians and Sikhs. Websites derive this data by
researching castes listed by people on various other websites. he greatest
speciicity in the data pertains to the Brahmin castes, where around 30 sub­
caste names appear. Although it is diicult to analyse social status from caste
names, it is clear that castes across the spectrum—high and low, and spread all
over India—are represented. Registrants from Dalit castes also appear on the
website. While members from among all castes thus appear to have access to
the net and are keen to use internet technology, the great variety of Brahmins
reiterates the pattern whereby the educated and elite Brahmins have always
been the irst to access new channels of education and communication for
upward mobility, while at the same time emphasising and maintaining caste
and class exclusivity. Given the great number of subdivisions and related
status distinctions among Brahmins, they appear to be keen to retain these.
Websites make it easy to practise caste and sub­caste endogamy, as they allow
access to a greater number of individuals of the same caste or sub­caste. Some
proiles make it a point to list the gotras (clan or lineage) to be avoided by a
prospective partner. Contrary to the conclusion one arrives at from a study of
the proiles, in Mathur’s study (2007: 26) of marriages through websites only
23 per cent of the participants married within their caste and just 29 per cent
within the community of the same mother tongue. However, Mathur’s upper­
and middle­class sample from Mumbai may account for the greater deviation
from norms. Contrastingly, a study by Banerjee et al. (2009) of marriages
through newspaper advertisements among the middle­class Bengalis in
Kolkata found that there was a strong preference to marry within caste.
Parents tended to accept a groom or bride with fewer years of education if
the caste was the same. he essay concludes that the ‘cost’ of marrying within
caste is low for families when other social group attributes are homogenous,
explaining the persistence of caste in the marriage market. A study of
newspaper matrimonial advertisements by McCann Erickson’s Consumer
Insights (Sethi 2000) showed that caste remains resilient in matchmaking.

13 Chp-12.indd 279 10/8/2013 5:04:10 PM

 280 Kaur with Dhanda

Distribution by Religion
he distribution by religion among the members was highly skewed towards
Hindus. Almost 80 per cent of the registrants were Hindus, followed by 7 per
cent Muslims. he proportion of Muslim users is, however, a little over half of
their presence in the Indian population. It is also possible that Muslims may
be posting exclusively on websites such as MuslimMatrimony.com. Inter­
estingly, the data reveals that there are as many Muslim women posting their
proiles as there are Muslim men, pointing to the fact that they face the same
diiculties as educated Hindu women in inding compatible spouses. Posting
on websites also points to a weakening of consanguineous marriages among
educated Muslims, as they look outside the extended family for suitable
partners (see Vatuk, this volume). his is not surprising considering the
income­education proile of registrants. Yet, community remains important;
Muslims also seek spouses from speciic denominations such as Shia, Sunni,
Dawood, Bohra, etc.

FIGURE 12.1: Distribution by Religion

Muslim
7%
Christian
5%
Sikh Jain
6% 2%

3%
Hindu
79% Other Buddhist
0% 1%

Source: Drawn by author based on data from a national matrimonial website

he percentage of Christians, Jains and Sikhs was higher than their presence
in the Indian population, relecting higher incomes, education and hence
greater access to internet technology. Religious groups such as Hindus,
Christians, Sikhs, etc. also further diferentiate themselves along sectarian
lines, as relected in speciic labels such as Digambar and Shwetambar Jains,
‘Born again’, Catholic, Evangelical, Syrian, Nadar Christians, etc. Despite being
modern enough to post on the net, speciication of denomination implies that
people are looking for spouses within narrowly­deined communities.

13 Chp-12.indd 280 10/8/2013 5:04:11 PM

 Suring for Spouses 281

PRACTISING THE SELF: ARE MARRIAGE WEBSITES A SITE FOR

THEEMERGENCE OF INDIVIDUALITY?
Several clues to whether the new technology is initiating marriage change
can be derived from interrogating the data from various vantage points.
For example, who posts the proile? Interestingly, a high proportion of the
total proiles (65 per cent) were posted by members themselves followed
by 21 per cent posted by parents. Eleven per cent of proiles were posted by
siblings and friends. Over 73 per cent of the men posted their own proiles;
the corresponding percentage for women being 43 per cent. hirty­nine per
cent of female proiles were posted by parents and 11 per cent by siblings; in
contrast, for males, 14 per cent were posted by parents and only 3 per cent by
siblings.

FIGURE 12.2: Proiles Posted by Guardian

Marriage Bureau
Friend 1% Others
Siblings 6% 2%
5%
Parent/Guardian
21%

Self
65%

Source: Drawn by author based on data from a national matrimonial website.

Who posts the proile may be an important indicator of shits in genera­

tional participation in the match­making process. Middle­ and upper­middle­
class youth, more proicient with internet technology, are likely to post their
own proiles. he high number doing so indicates signiicantly greater agency
on their part. Equally, the participation of a greater number of younger people
such as siblings and friends may signal a greater trust in one’s peer group while
deciding on a spouse. Yet, the fact that 21 per cent of the proiles are being

13 Chp-12.indd 281 10/8/2013 5:04:11 PM

 282 Kaur with Dhanda

posted by parents, and 11 per cent by friends and siblings of users underlines
the continuing importance of family in the matchmaking process.
While marriage websites provide standardised formats for uploading
information, the scope for the amount and kinds of information that can be
provided is much greater than in newspaper advertisements. Website proiles
make a signiicant break from the latter by allowing for more information to
be conveyed. Conventionally, the following information is requested to create
a proile of the user:
General: Age, Date of Birth, City, Profession, Marital Status, Income.
Religion and Ethnicity: Religion, Mother Tongue, City of Birth, Caste, Sub­
caste, Gotra, Time of Birth, Manglik Status.
Lifestyle and Attributes: Diet, Smoking/non­smoking, Drinking/non­
drinking, Complexion, Body Type, Challenged (Physically or Mentally).
Education and Occupation: Education Level, Qualiications, Occupation.
Family Values: Liberal, Conservative, Orthodox, Moderate.
Family Type: Nuclear, Joint
Family Status: Middle­Class, Upper­Middle­Class, Rich/Aluent, family
occupational details and any other details the user wishes to furnish about the
family.
Apart from the above standardised details, the website format provides ample
opportunities for people to describe themselves as individuals and list the
desired characteristics of their partner. hus hobbies, interests, favourite
cuisines, sports, lifestyle details (diet, drinking/smoking habits) and personal
details can be showcased and shared, allowing the presentation of the self in a
way that newspaper matrimonial advertisements never could. A proile posted
by a girl describes herself as ‘simple girl, faced hard situations, ready to face hard
challenges with patience. Understanding; Respect towards elders.’ She states
that she plans to work ater marriage and is open to marrying a person from
any one of several Hindu or Sikh castes. Many websites advertise themselves
as a space where people can ind a ‘soul mate’, underlining a new emphasis on
individual compatibility with a new emphasis on conjugal intimacy.

IS THE MODERN ANXIETY NOT ABOUT MAKING THE RIGHT

MARRIAGE BUT OF FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON?
Many individuals now seek individual compatibility rather than purely family
compatibility based on standard matching criteria. Somewhat older spouse­
seekers for whom conventional matchmaking has not worked, especially seek

13 Chp-12.indd 282 10/8/2013 5:04:11 PM

 Suring for Spouses 283
a private space or platform to express their views on the kind of person they
want as a marriage partner. For such individuals, the family plays a lesser role
than in the case of younger spouse­seekers.
Women posting their own proiles are quite explicit in their expectations
of minimum professional qualiications or the income they expect their
prospective partner to have. his is a change from the trend observed in the
past,15 when women had little encouragement to express their desires. Women
also clearly state their own career goals (planning on doing a Ph.D., for
instance) and income status in their proiles. Urban, educated women’s agency
in deploying the strategy of arranged marriage to fulill their own goals and
desires is also a result of their increased bargaining power in the marriage
market (Sharangpani 2010: 253). In our case studies of such women we found
that they pushed their parents to register them on internet sites in order to
enlarge their choice of suitable spouses and took active interest in selecting or
rejecting potential candidates.
Despite such agency, the entire process of the use of web space and
display of the self remains an unequal one for the genders—clearly seen in
the elaboration of the proiles and also the role taken by women once mutual
interest is initiated. Men feel freer to state their desires and describe themselves,
while women are far more restrained in what they or their parents/siblings
post about them. Further, in consonance with newspaper advertisements from
the 1990s, even as professional characteristics and income and education of
girls have attained importance, physical attributes, like skin colour (fairness
being an explicit demand) and body type (slim being sought ater) continue
to be desirable attributes.16 Website advertisements generally show pictures of
very fair, pretty women as objects of desire. Interestingly, virginity, which was
explicitly mentioned in newspaper advertisements of the 1960s, is not men­
tioned any longer (Sethi 2000). he demand that women be prepared to take
on domestic duties and adopt the home­maker role, even while contributing
inancially to the household, is made clear in both newspaper advertisements
and web proiles.
he gendered nature and weaker agency of women in web­based match­
making, however, goes deeper than this, as revealed in a case related here.
Anjali’s brother placed her proile on the net. Ram, the groom, whose family
had failed to ind a satisfactory match for him (he said, ‘no good proposals
were coming through family and friends’ and that, ‘the internet provided a
larger platform to meet people and to choose from’), and who was already
located abroad, decided to put up his own proile on several websites. he girl’s
family gave minimal information, while the boy posted a leshed out resume.
While the girl relied on her brother (even though both her parents are alive)
to initiate and handle the process, the boy surfed the potential choices himself,

13 Chp-12.indd 283 10/8/2013 5:04:11 PM

 284 Kaur with Dhanda

being open to the development of a love relationship that could blossom into
marriage.
While the boy corresponded with several girls (keeping his parents
informed), the girl did not correspond with any one and it was her brother
who approached Ram for a potential match. While Anjali’s brother executed
the search, keeping caste, profession and their native city in mind, Ram’s
only expressed concern was that the girl be a Hindu. For him, ‘looks’ were
important, while for the girl’s family, the groom’s social and economic status
was more important. Ram claimed that he wanted to project ‘who he was as
a person, and convey a true sense of himself ’. Such an opportunity was not
available to the girl, since a conventional, minimal, conservative proile of her
was posted by her brother. However, despite Ram’s desire to display a modern
self and marry on the basis of ‘knowing himself and the other individual’, the
match was ixed without the couple talking on the net.
he meeting took place ater complete veriication of backgrounds
through a common acquaintance. he families ascertained that they were
closely matched in caste (both being Maithili Brahmins from Bihar), class,
native place, desired levels of education, etc. he couple then developed a
‘liking’ for each other against this secure background, the sealing of the match
being dependent only on ‘the gaze’ or dekhna (seeing or viewing) which the
couple directed at each other in their irst and only personal meeting. While
this may sound no diferent from a traditional matchmaking exercise, what
made it diferent was the boy’s stated desire to project his ‘self ’ and the girl’s
later claim that ‘basically he was looking for someone like me’. his could be
seen as a post­facto rationalisation but relects new desires of the matrimonial
project. he couple claimed that they would recommend the same route to
others seeking a match; the girl however emphasised that it was important to
ascertain that the proiles on the net were genuine as the virtual nature of the
net made deceit quite possible. he role of the parents and family loomed large
in the matchmaking. he girl moved to USA ater marriage; ironically, the
marriage did not last long; despite the detailed matching of family backgrounds
and of desired spousal characteristics, the couple ultimately found that they
were personally incompatible.

REPRODUCING CLASS THROUGH MARRIAGE AND FAMILY

Despite the increased space given to the individual, does the Indian marriage
remain a family strategy at heart? Websites provide more space for display
of the ‘self ’, but at the same time they provide more space for the display of
the family as well. Matching caste, community, religion and region is almost
automatic through the new technology. Matching family is being made equally
easy and allows for the reproduction of class.

13 Chp-12.indd 284 10/8/2013 5:04:11 PM

 Suring for Spouses 285
Internet proile formats allow extensive highlighting of family back­
ground which helps maintain class endogamy. Besides an individual’s own
qualiications, those of the parents and siblings can also be included; for
instance, whether a parent or sibling is an IAS oicer or an IIT graduate, or
employed with a highly­rated MNC.17 In one proile, the individual mentions
that his mother hails from a royal family, another lists the achievements of his
uncles. hrough such details, the individual not only enhances his own proile,
but also successfully makes status claims. While details of certain characteristics
provided by the individual pertaining to himself/herself—such as physical
characteristics, hobbies, desired characteristics of spouse, etc.—may support
a greater emphasis on the suitability of the individual person, the provision
of information about other family members strengthens a conservative
reproduction of class. Matching of a great number of variables through the
internet technology also ensures that parents’ choices and proclivities will be
met without them having to take the lead or initiative.
Two interesting attributes in the proiles pertain to ‘family values’ held by
the individual and the type of family s/he belongs to. he choices provided to
describe family values are: orthodox, liberal or moderate and, for the type of
family, nuclear or joint. his additional information being provided by both
parties enables people to sort proiles based on whether families are considered
‘modern’ or ‘Western’ or ‘traditional’ in their outlook. In many cases, couples
tend to refrain from moving further in the process if family type or values
do not match, even if characteristics of the individuals are compatible. While
caste and community remain fundamental to the matching process, family
values essentially refer to the internal class­based diferentiation occurring
among families within such groups. Upbringing, socialisation and cultural
capital denote diferent degrees of personal freedom and individualisation,
signalled through family values.
he type of family, joint or nuclear, is another important consideration.
Even in the past, parents queried the size and type of family (nuclear or joint,
many or few siblings, married or unmarried siblings) of a prospective partner
to gauge the future quality of married life for the girl, while parents of boys
calculated how much parents of daughters would be able to give in marriage.
In contemporary marriages, women have strong views about living in joint
or nuclear families with educated, working women rarely wishing to move in
with a joint family; joint living becomes acceptable only when children are
born. Co­residence with the spouse’s brothers’ families is almost never desired,
while co­residence with in­laws is tolerated when needed. Spouse­seekers are
explicit about wanting to know the type of family even before considering a
prospective partner.

13 Chp-12.indd 285 10/8/2013 5:04:11 PM

 286 Kaur with Dhanda

Among the class of people using the net for matchmaking, it is no longer
politically correct to mention dowry expectations in the posting. It does not,
however, mean that dowry is not negotiated in such marriages. It is most
likely relegated to the second phase of matchmaking. he public nature of
the internet and the desire to present a modern front pushes such discussions
behind the scenes. Dowry remains an important consideration in most Indian
marriages and many negotiations break down precisely on the question of
dowry demands.
Despite the modernity of the internet technology and its users, horoscope
matching remains a very important element in the matchmaking process.
Websites enable users to create their horoscopes easily by feeding in the date of
birth, time, city and country of birth. he importance of matching horoscopes
indicates the need to control the uncertainty around the fate of a marriage as
marriage essentially remains a lottery with unknown individuals and families.
As one mother who arranged her daughter’s marriage through a website said,
‘Horoscopes were matched; it narrows down the choice somewhat but we felt
it was important.’ he girl’s parents were both professionals, and the couple
had MBA degrees and were working in the corporate sector.
hat marriage remains an important strategy for individual and family
mobility is illustrated by several cases of web­based marriages. In two of three
such cases documented for this essay, mother and daughter decided to post
the latter’s proile on the net; in the irst, because they found proposals through
other routes ‘scanty’ and not ‘up to the mark’ and in the second, because the
daughter announced that she had not met anyone she wanted to marry and
was ready for an arranged marriage. In the third case, having tried other
routes, the brother of the girl took the initiative to search for a spouse for
her on the internet. All three couples are well educated, for whom profession
and educational qualiications followed by family background were important
criteria. In a fourth case, the marriage was cross­regional (west and north) even
though the caste was the same; the net thus opening up possibilities of inding
a suitable match across cultural regions though from the same community.
As an example, we look at the case of Lata, whose mother took the initia­
tive to post her proile on the net despite opposition from the father. Her
father remained sceptical and didn’t wish to waste money by becoming a
paid subscriber. Lata said, ‘When we started seeing better ofers from more
educated people with better proiles, we were encouraged.’ Finally, the mother
and daughter (who was on her way to qualifying as a doctor and hence keen on
inding the right match) prevailed upon him and a paid account was opened.
To make the initial contact, the mother and brother corresponded with the
people whose proiles interested them. hey had speciied that the groom had
to be a doctor, from an educated family and located in the National Capital

13 Chp-12.indd 286 10/8/2013 5:04:11 PM

 Suring for Spouses 287
Region (NCR) of Delhi. Ater the initial phase, the girl would communicate
with the boy; the discussion would be around education and dowry did
not igure at all. In her proile, her education, fair complexion, her parents’
education and her brother’s qualiication as an IIT graduate were emphasised.
For the girl, the groom’s education, caste and height (ater making sure that
he too would be a doctor) were important characteristics. She was very clear
that she was not looking for a ‘soul mate’ and let our question on romance in
marriage unanswered. Lata’s agency in the groom search is apparent in her
selecting the proiles that interested her, ater short listing by her mother and
brother, and rejecting those who she thought did not meet her expectations or
would not be compatible.

NEGOTIATING DIVERSE INTIMACIES

he language of matchmaking in websites is an important indicator of shiting
sensibilities around marriage. While newspaper advertisements talk about
‘seeking a match’, internet websites talk of ‘seeking a life partner’ or a ‘soul
mate’. Such rhetoric may be mere gimmicky advertising, but in many cases the
internet is providing individuals with a way to express new desires.
An example is of a North­Indian Bengali Catholic woman who married
a Protestant Christian man she met through a marriage website. Although
community was not an issue with her because of her secular upbringing,
somewhere along the way she felt that she would be more comfortable with
a person from a similar religious background. he woman is in her mid­30s
and the man in his 40s. here was family pressure to get married but, more
importantly, she too was keen to get married as the biological clock was ticking
away. Her extended family had tried looking for a groom for her, but she did
not ind any of the candidates suitable. She had not wanted to seek a match
through a newspaper matrimonial ad. Being busy professionally, she found
little time to meet people. Finally, she decided to sign up on a ‘free’ marriage
site which she found user­friendly. She posted her own proile and adamantly
declared ‘I was not going to let anyone else do it’. She corresponded with about
ive people by email. It was the persistence of her future spouse that impressed
her and she responded to him. Her spouse, in turn, found her proile witty
and intelligent. Ater conducting a courtship on the net and over the phone,
they decided to meet and then marry. According to her, neither set of parents
would have had the right to veto the marriage once the couple had decided
as they were old enough to make the decision themselves. he role of parents
in this particular marriage was thus, totally absent. According to the woman,
other friends of hers had also found the same route to matrimony; she felt that
if one was level­headed, one could ind a spouse through a website, or else ‘you
could simply waste your time’. he success of such young, professional women

13 Chp-12.indd 287 10/8/2013 5:04:11 PM

 288 Kaur with Dhanda

in inding suitable spouses is emboldening many others to take the same route.
As she said, ‘they don’t need to feel guilty about it’.
In another such case, the woman posted herself on the net, initially ‘for fun’,
and was by her own admission not preoccupied with the thought of marriage as
such. She corresponded with many men, some of whom became good friends
even though nothing romantic developed. Although information on caste,
religion, etc. was available, she did not think of it as being of great consequence
because she was more interested in a potential spouse’s personality, his outlook
on life and his achievements. Ater conducting a courtship on the net and over
the phone (he turned out to be an NRI), they decided to meet and then to
marry. He irst met her parents and then they announced the decision to his
parents.
hese last two cases represent a process of matchmaking diferent from
the ones outlined earlier, in that the process is not family­controlled. Rather,
the family occupies a secondary role, entering only to celebrate the marriage.
In the former kinds of cases, internet expanded traditional choices, whereas
in the second type, the internet enabled an expansion of the parameters for
selection and type of choice to include modern ideas of suitability, compatibility,
intimacy and a couple’s life together. In the irst set of cases, women denied
ever having been romantically involved with anyone. While men admitted to
posting on several websites simultaneously and pursuing their own searches,
women were generally posted on a single website and rarely conducted the
search independently.
Some other stories we learnt about did not have such happy endings—
individuals seeking each other out, but the match being rejected by the
family—revealing the resistance to both the new mode of inding a spouse and
the new independence demanded by marriageable individuals. In one case,
the girl, an orphaned child brought up by two sisters, put up her own proile
and ater corresponding with several men, fell in love with one of them. he
boy’s mother, however, summarily rejected the girl.
In another case, a couple, both of whom entered their second marriages
ater conducting a search on the net. Marriages in which couples ind each other
independently of family involvement are oten across caste and community, as
in another case where the man is a Bengali and the woman a Maharashtrian,
both NRIs. In such cases, the couple is typically older, may have been spouse­
searching for some time, and considers compatibility in terms of education,
profession and personality more important than traditional community­
deined criteria. Among couples interviewed for this essay, most got married
within four to six months of posting their proiles. However, conversations with
several unsuccessful registrants revealed that many were never able to ind a
satisfactory match despite being posted on several websites simultaneously.

13 Chp-12.indd 288 10/8/2013 5:04:11 PM

 Suring for Spouses 289
While men seek both intimacy and marriage when posting their proiles
on the net, most women in parent­driven matchmaking may create a post­
facto romanticisation of the relationship. In cases where individuals seek
partners themselves, the internet technology allows desire to become one of
the ingredients of matchmaking; the displayed self is a sexualised self in posting
proiles describing an attractive personality. hus, the professional Catholic
woman, who was adamant on posting her own proile, and whose courtship
moved from ‘furious email chatting to telephone and inally meeting in person’,
actualised a possibility not available through newspaper advertisements or
marriage bureaus. he technology also represents the possibility of bypassing
the traditional requirement of conining sexuality to marriage. Of course, this
particular engagement with the technology does not come about in a vacuum.
Many couples in urban areas today are experimenting with live­in relationships
and pre­marital sex before tying the knot. A cultural appropriation of the new
technology has taken place, which functions to keep older requirements of
matching intact while allowing certain new elements to be added.

GLOBAL CHOICES, LOCAL MARRIAGES?

he process of globalisation has been characterised by scholars such as Giddens
as compressing time and space (1999). he fact that the internet endlessly
expands the horizon over which brides and grooms can be ‘surfed for’ is what
appeals most to families and individuals taking this route. his modernity is
thus one of expanding choice and possibilities, and overcoming barriers of
geography and physical location and expanding the marriage distance. Yet, this
modernity does not necessarily encompass seeking marriage partners across
traditional criteria of caste, class, religion and region. What drives the need
to have a wider choice than that provided by marriage brokers, newspaper
ads, and family and community contacts? Is it a crisis of matchmaking? As
arranged marriage remains resilient and community ties weaken, matrimonial
websites have opened a new front for aspiring couples belonging to the middle
classes. In contemporary marriages, choice itself is being redeined in the
context of the marriage market and changing notions of conjugality and
intimacy. It may either be self­choice resulting from a romantic relationship
or, as is the case most of the time, it is more a market style ‘informed choice’
that the internet provides. Such choice opens up greater possibilities, yet
prevents individuals from making wrong choices—such as falling in love with
the ‘wrong’ type of person, of the wrong caste, class or religion—while picking
the most suitable boy or girl. As important shits surely take place in marriage,
in the matchmaking process and in the marriage market, any structural break
remains caught between the conservative and radicalising possibilities of this
new technology.

13 Chp-12.indd 289 10/8/2013 5:04:12 PM

 290 Kaur with Dhanda

NOTES
1
See Khandelwal (2009) for a discussion on how arranged marriage is positioned
as a symbol of Eastern or Indian/south Asian marriage, implying parental control and
a lack of agency on the part of the marrying individuals. She argues that the contrast
between arranging marriages in the East and love marriages in the West is overdrawn,
with agency being overestimated in the latter.
2
See Kabeer (2000) on inter­generational contracts. he parental contract with
sons is the assumption that they will provide old­age support to them. he gendered
nature of roles in society extends this duty to daughters­in­law, who are seen as being
responsible for domestic tasks, including provision of care to in­laws.
3
A paper by Mathur (2007) highlights that parents tend to choose daughters­in­
law who will look ater them rather than have compatibility with the sons.
4
Honour killings in North India are a reaction to the loss of control which families
and communities experience when young adults marry out of caste or repudiate other
community norms (Chowdhry 2007; Kaur 2010).
5
Please see Sharangapani (2010) for marriage bureaus and Pache (1998) for
marriage fairs.
6
Recently, bharatmatrimony.com has overtaken shaadi.com in market share.
bharatmatrimony.com is especially popular among NRIs and in South India.
7
Biao (2005) formulates the concept of ‘ethnic transnational middle class’;
members of this middle class are active users of marriage websites.
8
Uberoi (1998) points to the role of media and the Indian cinema in perpetuating
Indian family values among Indians abroad.
9
‘Operation Match’ was the irst dating computer program set up by Harvard
students, which was followed by Project TACT­Technical Automated Compatibility
Testing—New York city’s irst computer­dating service (Paumgarten 2011).
10
Among Hindus, there is a belief that a person who is a manglik is born under an
inauspicious astrological coniguration with negative consequences for marriage. his
coniguration is supposedly one for widowers. Hence, it is believed that the spouse of
a manglik partner will be in danger of prematurely losing her/his life. If two mangliks
marry each other the efect is cancelled out.
11
A recent news report from Gujarat described a marriage mela organised by an
NGO for older individuals, who were looking for partners; such melas may eventually
aford greater legitimacy to live­in partnerships.
12
In 2012, Shaadi.com had 20 million plus users of which 65 per cent were men
and 35 per cent were women (Poonam 2012).
13
In 2012, SimplyMarry.com reported that earlier 80 per cent of girl proiles were
posted by parents, but now it had gone down to 50 per cent (Poonam 2012).
14
A report by the National Council for Applied Economic Research’s (NCAER)
Centre for Macro Consumer Research states that by 2015–16, India will be a country
of 53.3 million middle­class households, translating into 267 million people falling in
the category. As per the study, which uses ‘household income’ as the criterion, a family
with an annual income between INR 3.4 lakh to INR 17 lakh (at 2009–10 price levels)
falls in the middle class category (PTI 2011).

13 Chp-12.indd 290 10/8/2013 5:04:12 PM

 Suring for Spouses 291
15
See Liddle and Joshi (1989) on women’s greater assertiveness in choosing the
family they wish to marry into.
16
In a survey of 203 advertisements in contemporary English dailies, 59 per cent
of the advertisements by men or their parents mentioned their salary, while only 11 per
cent of the women did so. Skin colour was mentioned for 42 per cent of the women
and for 18 per cent of the men. hirty­eight per cent of the women mentioned body
type as being slim while only 3 per cent of the men gave this information (Fargette and
Marchal 2008).
17
IAS (Indian Administrative Service), IIT (Indian Institute of Technology),
MNC (Multinational Corporation).

REFERENCES
Adams, Paul C., and Rina Ghosh. 2003. ‘India.com: he Construction of A Space
Between’. Progress in Human Geography 27 (4): 414–37.
Banerjee, Abhijit, Esther Dulo, Maitreesh Ghatak, and Jeanne Lafortune. 2009. ‘Marry
for What? Caste and Mate Selection in Modern India’. NBER Working Paper
No. 14958. Available at: http://www.nber.org/papers/w14958. Accessed on:
30 June 2013.
Biao, Xiang. 2005. ‘Gender, Dowry and the Migration System of Indian Information
Technology Professionals’. Indian Journal of Gender Studies 12:357–80.
Bourdieu, Pierre. 1977. Outline of a heory of Practice. Cambridge: Cambridge
University Press.
Chatterjee, J. S. 2007. ‘he Internet as Matchmaker: A Study of Why Young Indians are
Seeking Marriage Alliances Online’. Paper presented at the annual meeting of the
International Communication Association, TBA, San Francisco, CA. Available at:
http://citation.allacademic.com/meta/p_mla_apa_research_citation/1/7/2/1/3/
pages172135/p172135­1.php. Accessed on: 27 February 2013.
Chowdhry, Prem. 2007. Contentious Marriages, Eloping Couples. New Delhi: Oxford
University Press.
EmPower Research LLC. 2008. A Web Partner for Life: Indian, Matrimony Web Sites
are Modernizing Matchmaking for the Oline World and Positioning to be Lifelong
Portals for the Online One. 20 October. Available at: http://www.marketresearch.
com/EmPower­Research­LLC­v3570/Web­Partner­Life­Indian­Matrimony­
1920947/. Accessed on: 20 February 2013.
Fargette, Camille, and Julien Marchal. 2008. ‘Matrimonial Advertisements: Content
and Analysis’. Unpublished student paper, Indian Institute of Technology, Delhi.
September.
Giddens, Anthony. 1999. Runaway World: How Globalisation is Reshaping Our Lives.
London: Proile.
. 1994. he Transformation of Intimacy: Love, Sexuality and Eroticism in Modern
Societies. Cambridge: Polity Press.
JuxtConsult. 2008. India Online 2008 Online Matrimony Report. 1 June. Available at:
http://www.marketresearch.com/JuxtConsult­v3690/India­Online­Matrimony­
2196564/. Accessed in: February 2013.

13 Chp-12.indd 291 10/8/2013 5:04:12 PM

 292 Kaur with Dhanda

Kabeer, Naila. 2000. ‘Inter­Generational Contracts, Demographic Transitions and the

“Quantity­Quality” Trade­of: Parents, Children and Investing in the Future’.
Journal of International Development, 12 (4): 463–82.
Kaur, Ravinder. 2010. ‘Khap Panchayats, Sex Ratio and Female Agency’. Economic and
Political Weekly 45 (23): 14–16.
Khandelwal, Meena. 2009. ‘Arranging Love: Interrogating the Vantage Point in Cross­
Border Feminism’. Signs: Journal of Women in Culture and Society 34 (3): 583–
609.
Liddle, J., and R. Joshi. 1989. Daughters of India: Gender, Caste, and Class in India. New
Brunswick, New Jersey: Rutgers University Press.
Majumdar, Rochona. 2004. ‘Looking for Brides and Grooms: Ghataks, Matrimonials
and the Marriage Market in Colonial Calcutta, circa 1875–1940’. Journal of South
Asian Studies 63 (4): 911–35.
Mathur, Divya. 2007. ‘What’s Love Got to Do With It? Parental Involvement in Spouse
Choice in Urban India’. Department of Economics, University of Chicago.
Available at: http://ssrn.com/abstract=1655998. Accessed on: 27 February 2007.
Mullatti, L. 1995. ‘Families in India: Beliefs and Realities’. Journal of Comparative
Family Studies 26 (1): 11–25.
Pache, Veornique. 1998. ‘Marriage Fairs among Maheshwaris: A New Matrimonial
Strategy’. Economic and Political Weekly 33 (17): 1970–75.
Pal, Jiban K. 2010. ‘Social Networks Enabling Matrimonial Information Services in
India’. International Journal of Library and Information Science 2 (4): 54–64.
Paumgarten, Nick. 2011. ‘Looking for Someone: Sex, Love, and Loneliness on the
Internet’. he New Yorker. 4 July. Available at: http://www.newyorker.com/
reporting/2011/07/04/110704fa_fact_paumgarten. Accessed on: 27 February
2013.
Poonam, Snigdha. 2012. ‘Casting the Net’. he Caravan 4 (3): 48–59.
PTI (Press Trust of India). 2011. ‘India’s Middle Class Population to Touch 267 Million
in 5 yrs’. he Economic Times. 6 February.
Roy Choudhury, Pritha. 2007. ‘Interview: Shaadi.com is the leading online matrimonial
service’. Merinews. 16 June. Available at: http://www.merinews.com/article/
interview­shaadicom­is­the­leading­online­matrimonial­service/125367.
shtml. Accessed in: February 2013.
Sethi, Kapil. 2000. Branding Brides and Grooms in Asia: An Analysis of Matrimonial
Advertising in India 1967–1997. McCann Erickson’s consumer insights. Available
at: http://www.brandingasia.com/columns/mccannerickson5.htm. Accessed on:
27 February 2013.
Sharangpani, Mukta. 2010. ‘Browsing for Bridegrooms: Matchmaking and Modernity
in Mumbai’. Indian Journal of Gender Studies 17 (2): 249–76.
Sharma, Archana. 2006. ‘Girl Seeks Suitable Boy: Indian Marriage Dot Com’. Ph.D.
Dissertation. University of Toronto.
Shukla, Sonal, and Shagufa Kapadia. 2007. ‘Transition in Marriage­Partner Selection
Process: Are Matrimonial Advertisements an Indication?’ Psychology &
Developing Societies 19 (1): 37–54.
Uberoi, Patricia. 1998. ‘he Diaspora Comes Home: Disciplining Desire in DDLJ’.
Contributions to Indian Sociology n.s., 32 (2): 305–36.

13 Chp-12.indd 292 10/8/2013 5:04:12 PM