Bernardo, Annika Gale M.

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“Do you get déjà vu?”

“I am the master of my own fate, I am the captain of my soul.” This was a part of Invictus, a poem written by William Ernest
Henley in 1875. Luckily, I got the chance to read it in 2017, instantly, it became a quote that really stuck with me all
throughout those years. I found it in a time wherein I was starting to come out of my mother’s nest; like a little chick slowly
waddling its way to explore what the world outside it has to offer. You could say those were the times were I’d get afraid of
trying out things, but once I took the leap, I’d always yearn for more. During those crazy high school days of mine, I got to
learn a lot of things; commuting, research papers, partying, friendship, and relationships. We could say that all of those could
all be equated to the fact that everything that happens in my life I was in-charge of.

Almost 7 years ago, the idea of being the master of my own fate evoked a lot of feelings within me. Fear, empowerment, and
hopefulness, I would say that if I were to recall those days, those feelings really loomed over me. I loved the idea of just
making something out of myself, but on the other hand, it also scared me. Fear of the unknown really made the 13 years old
me rethink my life every time. Putting that aside, having that ideology in my mind somewhat pushed me to always try to
become a better version of myself. Now, being a Psychology freshman, I get to encounter different theories and perspective
of people. It is safe to say that I somehow have an attachment with existentialism, because it somehow helped me get
through my self defining phase.

That is why when we were tasked to choose a theory, the first thing that came into my mind was May’s, Existential
Psychology. I learned this during our face-to-face class and would u believe that I got déjà vu when I once again heard the
words “Existence takes precedence over essence.” I realized that this was something I actually have aimed to live by. It was
something that closely hits home because it was my life’s motto to live responsibly. As person in her last teenage year, I knew
that I am slowly transitioning in the adult world. To be able to realize that what I make of myself slowly builds my life in the
future is important. It’s not about taking up big responsibilities, or garnering lots of accomplishments. Even though I’d be
grateful if the time comes I get to say I had those two things, I also place a lot of value on the tiny little steps that got me
wherever I am today. For it helped me find out the reason why I live, it molded me and I wouldn’t ever change anything even
if I am given that chance.

Looking forward to the future, I would like to bring this ideology. When the time comes that I must face death which is
unchangeable I’d be proud of the life I have lived. I would rather be challenged than remain stagnant all throughout my life.
What I do with my failures in life and how I transform it into a way for me to learn is solely up to me. Thus, in the future I know
that it would be of big help if I were to realize now how important it is to see that I am my own paper doll. I would be the one
who can transform nothing into something. In the near future I knew I’d find peace with myself knowing that whatever I have I
worked hard for it. Nothing in my life came by so easily and that is a challenge I place upon myself. I recognize the privileges I
have gained through the people around me but that won’t cage me. All in all, Existential Psychology fueled the flames of a
teenage girl wanting to be someone in the future. It helped the dreamer to hope, whilst progressively working on that dream.