Life story

Free rights and equality.

The demographic problem of a small country, which leads people to create large families and expand on
a par with the neighboring country. This economically best country in the world has developed
economic strategies to provide parenting benefits to people who want to have children.

The future of international relations under the guise of regional managers etc. can be in the hands of
adopted and multinational children. Therefore, every year thousands of qualified professionals marry
foreigners to start a family.

In the past, this way the Vikings raised the enemies of their nation from which they came. Аfter all,
before the ceremony of adopting a child was simple, a kid had to sit on the parent knee who says his
name. So, legends tell of how adopted children were used in battles against their family and tribe in
order to survive among the new society.

In Hollywood movies, the stories are slightly altered. So, movies Pathfinder from 1987 and 2007 tell
attempts by the Vikings to settle in North America, destroying the Indians, 100 years before the journey
of Leif Ericsson and 600 years before the discovery of America by Christopher Columbus. Viking children
were adopted in order to escape the Viking attacks.

There is a lot of unclear aspects in national idea of Scandinavian countries. From one side, Scandinavia is
a political movement which started in the middle of the nineteenth century. The term was popularised
by the linguistic and cultural Scandinavist movement.

A key ancient description was provided by Pliny the Elder. Writing in the capacity of a Roman admiral
introduced the region by declaring to readers of “known to Roman arms” that there are 23 islands in the
northern region and Scantinavia has unknown size. Which is located at the territory of present Sweden.
There live Hilleviones, the nation of Ingaevones, the first in Germany. Who dwell in 500 villages, and call
it a second world. According to Germanic stem the name Scandinavia would mean “dangerous island”.
Alternatively, along with the Old Norse goddess Skadi, may be related to Proto-Germanic meaning
“shadow”.
From another side, The Vikings had a profound impact on the early medieval history of Scandinavia. The
term ‘Viking’ also commonly includes the inhabitants of the Norse homelands. The etymology of “viking”
is uncertain.

Because of tendency to make chaos they were called warriors, invaders, predators, barbarians. Vikings
escaped from eastern civilization for unwillingness to obey to laws of local government. They escaped
and settled in sparsely populated Northern areas. To established their own laws and rules for other
people, they would often kidnap foreign women for marriage or concubinage.

It’s known that Germans were not the seafaring. And Vikings were not Germans. The term ”Viking” that
appeared in Northwestern Germanic sources in the Viking Age denoted pirates.

By my opinion recognizing Scandinavian nations are defined not more than by identifying race and
country of birth. Because of uncertain origin, mixed marriages, canonized and invaded past history.
Nationalization in these countries is not more than another successful political movement. Although
there are many aggressive nazis and racists. The a basics of legal laws point to prioritize it’s citizen. Every
child who is born on it’s territory is a property of the state. Free right and equality works as long as you
have the same nation as majority and pay taxes. What is contradiction to international norms. But since
second world war there were no international issues.

ABOUT US

We met in very unusual circumstances; on the internet. A friend of mine back then, Leyla had told me
she met her boyfriend on some site and they were hitting it off real quick. She was going to visit him in
the USA , she highly recommended that I try out the site with she said has psychological tests for
couples.

“Hey! It’s not going to take forever to register! You’ll be done before you know it.”

“I really do not do dating sites, I feel a good number of individuals there are not real or stuff”

“I did not too, not until I found my Man, Zack. Everything’s been working out great!”

“I don’t know…”

“Just give it a try, yeah?

I was obviously not interested at first, but Leyla was a good saleslady, she successfully sold the pitch to
me somehow. I eventually decided to give the site a shot. A short while after joining the site, I got
hooked to attractive Italian, Brazillian, and Norwegian guys. I started to build a conversation with each
one of them. They were all really special and interesting guys although one stood out from all of them;
the Norwegian guy. He was always chatting with me; almost 24hours of the day. I could sense he looked
for any excuse or short break intervals even while working to have a conversation with me. He always
told me funny and interesting stories and I constantly found myself engrossed in our conversations, the
other guys did not matter so much anymore.

One time, on New year’s Eve, 2013, while we were having a conversation as usual, he asked me what
seemed somewhat like an unusual question.

“Do you wish to ever have kids?”

This was a new line of conversation he had just popped up, we had never really discussed such issues.
Besides I doubted anyone would not want to have kids or a family.

“Yes, sure. We all want that, don’t we?”

“Some people don’t too, you know? So how many kids would you like to have?”

“Well, i would like to have a daughter, and maybe more kids. I have to seek my Partner’s opinion about
the matter before marriage though”.

After we had chatted online for quite a while, he suggested we meet in person. I could not refuse
because I really yearned to see him too. I would not deny I was already developing a liking to him. We
made plans to meet during the summer vacation in Turkey. He kept connection and chats active and
after about six months, we met in Turkey as planned.

I would say I was really impressed the first time I got to see Oskar. He looked just as the internet had
presented him; Handsome, tall and classy with a cute boyish smile which he did not fail to throw at me
at intervals. I can remember how he extended his hands in a handshake with a grin on his face as he
introduced himself as Oskar.

“I finally get to see the beautiful face behind the camera.”

“Hey! It’s not like the face has been hidden all along.”
“Well, it looks even more beautiful in close proximity, I’m charmed”.

“Well, I could say same for you”

I had been wondering if he thought I looked quite different from the photos I had uploaded on site, I had
always felt I looked my best in person and I think he just confirmed it. I did not really have too many
pictures or spend too much time on content on the site like some people did, maybe because I had
already found what I was looking for, or that was just me. I am a simple lady and just did not think the
extravagance was necessary. I just made sure to look good anyways, off and on social media. It made so
much difference standing just a few inches away from him, I felt I might stutter or get really nervous, it
felt kind of weird. The first thing we did together was dinner at a really beautiful restaurant.

“I love this place, the ambience is so amazing.

“I know right? I had it reserved before I arrived here in Turkey, I did not want you to miss out on their
dessert menu, it’s truly amazing!

“Really? It’s that good?”

“You will love it, I promise. It’s a good thing we arrived just in time to still have our table reserved.”

I smiled, this was nice. The restaurant staff approached the table to take our orders. I never really ate
heavy for dinner and especially not on dinner dates. I also needed to feel light enough for dessert. He
ordered something really light too and we were served some water while we waited for our dinner.

“By the way, you really look exceptionally beautiful tonight.”

I had applied some make up and packed my hair in a different style for our dinner date. I wore a deep
back slit dress with a deep-cut neckline that revealed and appreciated my collar bones just perfectly.

“Well, thank you. And you look quite the gentleman tonight too”
“Why? Because I’m on a suit?”

I laughed at this. Truth be told, he did look a bit different looking all suited up, it felt like we were at a
gala. I was used to seeing him on casuals and simple official wears on photos.

“Maybe?”

I replied almost like I wanted to be playfully sarcastic. Our conversation went on from there, we talked
about almost everything through dinner; well at least the peripheral and important stuff.

He had quite a sense of humour and I liked the sound of his laugh. He had this thing he did where he just
stared into my eyes like he was trying to scan me through and through, it was quite sexy. After we were
done with our meal, dessert was served. It was just as amazing as he had described it.

“Wow.. this is amazing!”

“I told you so!”

“How did you find this place?”

“My first visit to Turkey, a friend brought me here”

Oskar and I felt quite comfortable around each other. The ride back was very chatty. It felt like we had a
lot to talk about, More like high school friends who just met after a long while and had a lot to catch up
on. Let’s just say we were trying to augment the little information we already had of ourselves from the
internet and also trying to straighten the misleading pieces of information we may have wrongly or
intentionally entered or needed to be updated; like birth

Dates and years or workplace. The night had been magical and so was the remaining days for the week
we spent together. We visited a lot of places together, each one better than the latter, He was such
great company.
We left Turkey after one week passed, he kept going on and on about how much he missed those times
we had together in Turkey and begged that we do it again sometime. We met again after 2 months, this
time around it was in Georgia. We stayed another week there and afterwards we took a train to
Azerbaijan in my home town.

“I want to be on every journey with you. I will always be by your side”

He sounded like a hopeless romantic. I felt loved and secure. One Christmas after our time in my
hometown, he invited me to Norway to meet with his parents. He had made it clear that he had serious
future plans for us so I did not really see everything happening as a surprise, neither did I object, I
wanted this too. I stayed 3 months in Norway with his family at the time. His mother suggested that I
invite them to visit my country home sometime, so they could know my culture and see my parents.

“That will not be a problem Ma’am, you’re always welcome. You could come on Spring holidays.

My family will host you”

“We can’t wait then.”

She seemed quite nice back then and I was ever so trusting. During the Spring holidays, Oskar said he
was going to Thailand alone with his brother to drive Motorbikes and get some vacation sunshine. That
was when we reached a halt in our relationship hike. I found out one month after he got back from
Thailand that some other woman was pregnant for him. I was devastated beyond words, I did not know
what to do or think.

“I did not imagine you could do this to us”

That was all I kept saying and all I found I could say in that circumstance, I took a break from the
relationship. Every hour of the day, he kept calling me. He said he could not bear to lose me. He
promised that he had no business with the lady and i was the one he loved and wanted to spend the
rest of his life with. In the summer of the year 2015, he asked me to marry him. I was 25 years old and I
though this was a perfect time to make a family and build a home. I said yes to him and we fixed our
wedding for autumn that same year.
Our wedding ceremony was held in Baku, my hometown. His parents didn’t come to our wedding; their
own son’s wedding. This really got me disheartened. Oskar had planned to wear an ugly brown suit for
our wedding. It was not a new suit and really did not look great. I bought him a nice grey suit to replace
that one, the grey suit fitted better. Every other preparation for the big day went as planned. Just 2 days
before our wedding though, something happened.

Oskar said the craziest thing to me.

“I do not want to get married to you anymore”.

I was shocked beyond words, I stood staring at him for a while without knowing what to say or do.

“Don’t do this Oskar, Everyone already knows we’re getting married. This would be a shame to me”.

“I don’t think I can do this anymore Aliya”

“Okay then, we will get a divorce after the marriage if you want. But please, don’t leave me standing
alone on the isle, don’t make me look stupid”

I did not know what to do. I was badly stressed up emotionally and could not even sleep well at night.
Why was this happening now? My father opted to have a talk with him. I could not tell what they
discussed, but eventually he decided that we should push through with the wedding.

We had a small wedding in a nice restaurant and an ice-cream wedding cake.

A year after we got married, I moved to Norway to live with him. In the same week after we got married,
he demanded that I get a job in Norway without the very least introduction or guide through the city
and the job market.

“Just get any job, irrespective of what the pay is. It must not be related to your field either”
We had such a heated argument over this and I wanted to walk away from him. His father Odd however
intervened and suggested that I would go learn the local language first. I agreed to this suggestion.

The marriage had presented Oskar, a different man, or at least I saw different sides to him how many
months after Marriage. That is what makes Marriage different. We were not meeting at restaurants or
cinemas or parks occasionally anymore where we idolized each other’s personality, now we were in the
same house, under one roof, we were beginning to really understand each other’s values, beliefs, and
perception of things including even our flaws.

Although Marriage to me, asides being a mutual agreement between two people to merge their beings,
was supposed to mean that both parties get to accept all there is to the other partner and forsook and
condone their flaws. My case was different; I was to forsake myself instead.

Oskar’s self-will and confidence did not dwindle, it probably got more harmful in marital affairs.

He was rigid and barked his own opinions to overshadow mine, I almost did not have a voice anymore. I
was beginning to realize now the vast nature of the cultural and religious difference between us; this
was indeed no fairytale. We disagreed on a lot of things, some of which I can not even recall. We barely
even agreed on anything, especially relating to important and crucial matters. His family was not
supportive in the least, they did not live with us, though, that was one less worry for me.

I had thought it would be quite easy to adapt to the Norwegian culture and beliefs, but they were a far
cry from what I thought they would be. We had been married for quite a while now. I still wish I
probably had done a proper study on the culture of the Norwegians before making my decisions, at least
I would have known what to expect and how to handle them. I would have been somewhat prepared for
all I was going to see in this Marriage. It was not easy adapting to a culture that thought that all my
values and belief systems were wrong. The culture of the Norwegians was intolerant and did not give
room to accommodate other belief systems and methods, they were fixed on what they believed. Even
though Oskar and I barely understood each other, we performed our conjugal rights to each other
concerning sex, food, and the primary needs of the house, including keeping the house in order as best
as could be done.

Before long, it happened. I began to notice some changes in my body. I had a clue as to what it was but
did not want to believe it or draw conclusions just yet. My fattening look missed menstrual cycles, and
fatigue could be a result of something else. I had heard and read of some early signs of pregnancy,
though, and the signs tallied. Was I really pregnant already? Everything was happening so fast, I was
scared and wondered if I was ready. I had known it would not take long before this happened, though;
he made sure we had sex every day since the day I moved in.
I decided to, however, clear all of my doubts by getting a Pregnancy Test done.

My suspicions were now confirmed, the test results came out positive. This news had brought mixed
feelings, maybe because I was not happy in my Marriage or maybe because I feared how he would react
or what difference this news might make in our lives.

“I have not been feeling well lately, I went to see a Doctor.”

“Okay, are you better now?”

“No…, I mean I was not really sick.”

“What are you trying to say? You just said you were not feeling well.”

“Yes, but I do not need to get better. The symptoms I am having are pregnancy symptoms. The Doctor
confirmed me pregnant today”.

He just stared, he did not say a word, neither did he express any emotions. He may have thought I was
joking, so I handed him the results of the test.

The nature of his job made it so that he was not always available. He flew to work after 3 weeks stay at
home and stayed working for about two weeks at least. In these times, I was left alone to care for myself
and the fetus growing inside of me. It felt good, at least at the moment. I felt a lot of things; I had
nausea, and my appetite drastically increased. I craved a lot of things that I would not even naturally eat
before now; however, I was sure not to eat anything that would not be good for the baby. I watched as
my stomach grew, it was weird, like magic. I began to appreciate the science of conception; how my
perfectly normal and flat tummy now looked like a big round ball. I could feel I was carrying another
being inside me. He may not have been physically heavy on me, but he told a lot on me. The laziness,
fatigue, irritation, great appetite, all came from a needy child sharing the same body compartment as
me. He was not ready to come out yet and have his own fair share of all of those things.

My stomach grew with each passing day, it could no longer be “guessed” that I was pregnant, it was
“obvious.” I had called my parents to tell them about the baby, I had not failed to keep in touch with
them ever since I moved to Norway. I know they missed me a lot. Mum was really excited about her
grandchild that was coming and called to check up on me quite often to know how I was faring. She also
gave a few tips to me as someone who had been there before. Most of the tips she gave never tallied
with the ones I got from here, from the surrounding Norwegian woman and my husband’s family. Their
views were quite different on the matter. I, however, did things the way I had always known to and from
what things my mum had told me. This was oneof the greatest causes of the conflicting home we were
soon going to have. It had only begun a little before and during conception. Little during conception,
maybe because I was pregnant, and no one wanted to get me on edge, so I do not lose the baby or
something.

I was beginning to fully embrace the coming of our son, we prepared for his coming by buying the
needed baby items. I could not wait to be delivered of the baby already though, I was eager to see what
he would look like. I did not know for certain if I was emotionally and mentally ready for the baby
though, I did not want him to come into this world to meet me an unhappy woman because the truth
was although I did not really fantasize so much about what being a mother would feel like; all the
motherly duties I would have to assume: breastfeeding, rocking my baby to sleep, changing his diapers,
playing with him and watching him laugh in reciprocation, seeing him in his first outfit, his first steps, his
first word, our first picture together, a lot of “firsts” with my first baby, I still knew I was happy he was
coming. And yeah! The thing about a baby kicking in the womb during conception? Totally true!

On the other hand, to my husband, nothing was different. He still wanted us to have sex regularly as we
used to and got quite agitated when I refused. He was not really one to care what I wanted, he told me
having sex still in my condition would make my delivery easy. I wondered how that worked. In his
defense, I would say that it was his first as it was mine too, we were both still learning at this. Somehow
also, he only just modeled the family life he had with his parents, who till this time tried to have a say in
the running of our home. Well, I would not blame him, they were the only parental examples he had to
see while growing up. I wanted something different for our family and did not subscribe to his patterns,
but what did that matter? The pregnancy had not made our relationship any better, he traveled a lot
anyways.

By November 28th, almost 36 weeks after my conception, I visited the hospital for an Ultrasound with
my husband; it was some Maternity in Haugesund. We walked into the Doctor’s office after a while in
the reception;

“Sit down.”

“Thank you.”

“How are you today?”

“I am alright Doctor, I want to have my baby checked.”

“How long are you gone now?”

“Almost 36 weeks.”

“Okay.., that’s great!”

“Are you having any particular problems?”

“No, none.”

The Doctor got up from his seat and performed some preliminary pre-examination and certified that I
was okay physically and seemed strong enough for delivery. He also conducted an ultrasound, and it
indicated on the monitor that my baby was in the right position and in good shape. He asked me to
proceed to have the extension checked in another room alone.

I had read about this before; having introduced painless procedures and technologies to ease this
process, I was not perturbed or scared at all. I walked into the room and met the midwife. She looked
oddly strange, you could say she was an unattractive woman. Her multi-color hair stood on end in funny
knots. She strangely looked at me.

Meanwhile, I took my time to study the room. There was a bed somewhere at the far opposite of the
entrance, close to the window. Asides from the high bed that I could see, there was really nothing else in
the room except some packets of the glove on the table where she has stationed just a little distance
beside the bed. Did I wonder to myself, where were the technologies and

Equipment? Maybe this was not the examination room, or perhaps they had a handheld and minute
version of these technologies that I did not know about? My thoughts were cut short by her voice as it
thundered across the room “May I help you?”

She said this with what looked somewhat like a forced smile, I assumed perhaps she had been slightly
irritated at the manner at which I looked around and examined her office.

“Sorry, Good morning. I was directed here to get my extension checked.”

“Ohh…okay, how far gone are you?”

“Almost 36 weeks.”

“Okay, close the door.”

I just realized then that in my observatory state, I had forgotten to shut the door to her office, I was also
still standing close to the door like I was waiting for a permit to come further into the room or waiting to
leave the room for perhaps the real examination room with the right equipment.

“Oh, sorry!”

I closed the door and took a few steps forward and away from the door.

“Lie down on the bed.”

I went straight to the bed and was about to lie down when she interrupted the procedure.

“Are you putting on underwear?”

“Yes?”

“You need to take them off.”

At this point, I realized we were going nowhere, this was indeed the examination room. Maybe my
second guess was right then, they probably had some form of a minute version of the required
equipment. I took off my underwear and lay down on the bed, waiting to see what would happen next.
She issued another order to me that nudged me from my ever-busy state of mind.

“Keep your legs apart.”

I did as instructed and watched to see what she was going to do. I realized just then that she was on the
phone with someone and had been listening to the person’s end of the conversation all along. She
began to respond just then in the Norwegian language, which I barely understood. I, however, construed
from the titles she used and how she spoke that she was on a call with her partner. I watched her put on
some gloves on both hands and approach me on the bed where I lay. She pressed my abdomen a few
times at strategic points almost immediately and nodded a few times. Before I knew what was
happening, she slid her fingers inside me before I could register my concerns or displeasure. She chatted
on over the phone and kept running her hands all inside me. I was in pain and embittered, and at that
moment, I could not tell what hurt the most. I could not tell if it was the pain I felt from her hands
fiddling inside me or the fact that she seemed not to care or even see my pain as she chatted away with
my husband over the phone like I was some robot for an experiment. She was barely even looking at me
and turned just once to say;

“Everything is perfect, the extension’s normal.”

This was not how I expected this examination to go. I did not imagine a hospital as this would still adopt
such crude and painful methods of pre-natal examinations. I was bleeding, and from all, she had done.
We left the hospital after a few other routines and were on our way back. The bleeding had continued
while I tried to use the toilet as we stopped by at the market to purchase a few items, it went on for a
day or two. The Doctors insisted that it was normal, and we should not come back as it will stop. Did
anyone even care that I was feeling pain?

That was the last Ultrasound I underwent before the water broke on December 1st, at about 2:30. My
husband was still at work by then and only returned at about 3pm. We drive to the hospital, we got
there around 4:30 after a 40 kilometers drive and demanded to be attended to.

We had earlier spoken with the hospital authorities a week before my delivery to reserve a room with a
tub in it for me. My husband and I drove to the hospital, and I was carried on a stroller to the reception
area by the “floor manager”; at least that’s what they called her. She took me in a wheelchair to one of
the offices. My water had broken now and was visibly trickling out all the way down to my knees. I
assumed I would be given immediate care and a maternity room with a tub like I had requested. Still, I
was informed that no rooms were available after so many routines, irrelevant questioning, and blood
tests. I was perplexed, I swore I saw empty rooms all the way down to the office. She checked my baby’s
heartbeat and conducted some urine tests and, in no time, came back and insisted I come back the
following day by 8am when the contractions would have gotten stronger. From the little knowledge I
had of pregnancy, I knew that at this point where my water had broken, I should have been placed
under close examination to avoid getting myself or the child infected, what were they saying? They did
not even consider the distance from where we came to the hospital.

“Should I not be rather admitted into a room to be closely observed?”

“There won’t be any need for that, you are not ready for delivery yet, your contractions are not near
strong enough, and there are really no rooms to get you admitted into at the moment when you are not
even ready to deliver yet. Please go and come back tomorrow at 8am. Your baby is in good shape”.
We went back home, I was so pissed. This is not what I anticipated concerning maternal care, I was
carrying another life in me that needed all the care possible! I arranged a warm bath and dipped myself
in it to calm my nerves. I opted for a glass of wine when I was done maybe to increase my blood tone, I
was feeling itchy and uncomfortable, and I really wished I could just sleep it all off. Just then, my
husband came out and snatched the wine from me, he was furious.

“What do you think you are doing?”

“I just needed a little bit of red wine, it’s good for me.”

“In your condition? Have you forgotten you still have a baby in you? Why? You want the child disfigured,
mentally impaired, or born with bad behavioral tendencies? Do not make this delivery process any
harder than it already is; do not get irresponsible now”.

I had almost forgotten the impact wine sometimes had on unborn infants, it was really all I could think
of at that moment to help ease my nerves, but then I could not afford to put the health and life of my
baby in jeopardy, so I did not argue with him. He poured the wine into the washbasin, and I took a warm
bath and decided to get some rest. My father-in-law Odd came around and insisted that we drive back
to the hospital. I told them that I had decided not to return to the hospital, that I was going to just have
my baby at home already. My husband and his parents would not hear of this. However, I kept insisting.
But their will was stronger than mine, they issued threats and warnings.

“Stop being unnecessarily stubborn! Don’t you even think of this child? What if something goes wrong
and something happens to him? You’re going back to the hospital!”

“I am not going back there! I won’t! You cannot make me!”

“Oh, really? You are on your own, then! But if anything happens to this child, you will pay dearly for it, I
promise you!”

They kept issuing threats and warnings, ranting into my ears. I knew they would not just let me be or
have any peace until I did their bidding. I did not want to return to that crude maternity; I really did not
see any difference between their methods and the crude manner in which our mothers of old had
maternity care. However, when I realized they were not going to let me be, if I do not go back, I decided
to just go. So, we went back to the same hospital at about 7:30pm and were greeted with the same
unempathetic faces I loathed already. I was placed in a warm bath at the hospital under the supervision
of the midwife Eli Kristin Flatekval Lunde and two more nurses. My husband was there too. I stayed in
the tub for hours, they did not care to regulate the water. The water had cooled entirely, and I was
feeling cold now. I shivered from the cold, and yet, it was almost like no one noticed, or maybe they just
wanted to act ignorant to how I felt. I complained a few times that I was really cold, but nothing was
done to heat up the water. It was almost like the midwife was distracted half of the time, chatting with
my husband.

Eventually, I began to yell. I could not take it anymore, the anger and pain I felt got the best of me. They
paid some attention to me now, I saw that she was going to repeat that thing again with her fingers.
Still, at this point I just really wanted everything to be over soon, so I did not say a word. I, however,
wished that she would be more empathetic to my plight, I would have really felt better if someone more
serious had done the check on me. She did it like it did not hurt while chatting with others in the room.

“3cm to exit now. Help her out of the tub.”

It was about 10:00pm now, they poured the Melee accelerator in my blood now, I was shivering on the
bed, no one offered even a blanket. I was asked to lie on my side and raise my legs up because my baby
was somewhat stuck. After a while, while they still held my legs, they had me lie on my back again and
covered me with a sheet. They gave me another shot of injection,

Probably to trigger the delivery and a gas mask to breathe with. After a little while, they announced that
my baby’s black hair could be seen. At this point, I did not move my legs so much or close them for any
reason. The pain that followed was unbearable. The obstetrician began to apply pressure on my vagina, I
wondered if it would be wrong to give me an anesthesia before doing all of these. I regretted coming
here, this was obviously not a proper hospital, how does anyone ever relive this experience?

Midwife Eli Kristin was laughing all the time with nurses. She said that I’m doing well and have to push
harder. Oscar just stood above my head and observed every moment with no sign of interaction. It was
1pm and the baby was still not out at this point, and I could feel Eli Kristin registered the time then she
said that will help me. At a point, I felt a very sharp pain at the spot, I wondered if I was going to survive
all of this, these people did not have a conscience.

I could feel that Eli Kristin broke me, to open my vagina with her fingernails, the pain was excruciating, I
was injured, and so was my child. My boy was born with a big cup on right side of head.
Later when they saw that I realized what had happened afterward, they made excuses that the tearing
of my vagina was normal and happened naturally during childbirth. The most of women get serious
injuries this time and what I have is nothing to compare. I knew that was not the case in this scenario. At
long last, the baby came out, with a large cut on his head, the swelling resulting from the activities of the
obstetrician and midwife on my vagina. He was in a pool of blood, fragile, and crying like hewas rudely
interrupted from his nap and exposed to a cold and unruly world. I felt some what dizzy and tired. Tears
rolled down my cheeks as I saw my boy, he was such a beautiful sight to behold. It was almost like a
dream that he came out of me just now. They briskly wiped him off and handed him to me.

“Breastfeed him, would you? We will stitch you up now”

How on Earth was I supposed to breastfeed a child with that being done? I could probably injure or
startle the child while shrieking from the pains of stitching without an analgesic.

“I would rather have the stitching done first.”

The pain was like nothing I wished to ever experience again. They manually stitched me for about 2-3
minutes, and I was fully susceptible to pain the whole time. I am guessing they really did not have any
anesthesia at the hospital; this was just breathtaking. I was weak, I was delicate in pains, this was finally
over, this process. It was around 1am now, that was when I gave birth to William.

I drew him close to my chest, and he giggled at me. The pains I had just felt suddenly did not matter
anymore as I looked into my child’s eyes. He had eyes like that of his father but a soul as sure as mine.
He was little and very fresh, like sweet honey with smooth skin. The tenderness of his skin warmed my
soul. He sucked on my breast for milk, and I just let him drink to his satisfaction, he barely cried, only
smiled.

“My little Pirate!”

On seeing my boy, I felt only Joy. For some reason, I had never really considered or thought of what
holding him in my arms would feel like all through the 9 months I had him in my belly. It felt really good.
Looking at him, I felt we had the same thoughts; why were delivery processes this complicated and
excruciating? Is this what all women go through? I mean, we shared part of the painful process with me.
I found myself feeling pity for the countless
Number of women that had been made to undergo this, some I even heard with worse case scenarios.
Even more, I felt pity for the next woman that would step into that room for delivery; this was hell. I was
yet to understand that maybe I should have felt pity for myself; instead, I had no idea of the pains that
were about to follow.

For six months after I gave birth to my boy, I did not stop bleeding; I was in severe pain. I felt pains when
I tried to urinate or do anything in the toilet, even when I just tried to sit on a chair or even walk. Oscar
wanted to get inside of me anyway, he told this could help me to heal quicker. I could not walk properly
and took very little steps not to trigger the region, I could

Not do any physical exercise. I was more or less damaged from delivery. I was perplexed, this was even a
regular occurrence. How is it that the kind of civilization I grew up to see had not hit Norway yet? I
realized this might only be the case with their public hospitals for foreigner patients if only the private
ones were not so pricey. Because I knew a couple of other foreigners from this city who had a terrible
experience at the Haugesund hospital. I thought that this could not happen to me. My muscles and
nerves in that region were damaged. I went ahead to apply for corrective surgery at the State Clinic.
They refused to operate on me, stating that my injury was

Negligible, at least compared to the few injuries and stitches many Norwegian women have suffered.
After childbirth.

“You are fortunate. You just have one stitch, which is nearly invisible. Many women have several stitches
and injuries after delivery. It’s normal, you will just give it time to heal.”

“And how much time are we talking about here, Doctor?”

“We cannot give an accurate reading to that. The nerves and muscles around that region just have to
repair with time. It could take several months or even up to a year as the case may be, but be rest
assured that you will be fine. Meanwhile, you should not get pregnant again until it heals

Properly”.

Could this really be normal? How then would one think of gladly conceiving again with flashbacks of how
the first seemed like hell? They all said my injury was little and would not operate on me, I know how I
felt though, it seemed only I understood what I was going through at the time. The private Doctors in
Norway could not even guarantee correction after the surgery even if they

Agreed to perform it on me despite the high cost. Vaginal muscles and nerves were very difficult to fix
even with surgery. It was about six months now after childbirth, and the pains would not stop, so as the
bleeding. I went on with the operation abroad as it was very expensive to have it done in Norway after
all. Maybe my chances would be better, abroad too, I thought.

Somehow, I think I could have helped my labor process, as well. All muscles in the body need to be on
end during labor to accelerate it. I was more or less relaxed and massaged my muscles, even though it
made me feel less pain, it made the process harder making the midwife result to cutting open my vagina
and application of vaginal pressure. You see the gritting of teeth, the pumping of the hands, the facial
folds, the uneasy movements, even bending and twitching, these were all necessary processes that help
accelerate a woman’s labor process because they exert the muscles and induce pressure on the infant to
pull out faster. But then, it was my first. I would not have known all of that by mere assumption, maybe
a little insight from them at the hospital would have helped. All they told me about childbirth was totally
the opposite of what I got to experience. I knew that something about how my baby was delivered was
not right, even though I heard much more bizarre delivery stories of women in Norway.

The maternity hospital at Hergesud had made childbirth, a traumatic memory for me and a scary
afterthought. Their practices and methods were just bizarre. Four days after I had delivered, they said
they needed to run tests on my baby, I did not know what the tests were for exactly. I went to the
hospital with my son, while I waited to be attended to, I noticed my boy had soiled himself, I needed to
wipe him. I brought out some thin wipes, took off his diapers, and began to wipe him thoroughly but
gently. I was startled when the nurse who was there with me interrupted what I was doing

“Is this how you wipe your baby?”

“I don’t understand what you mean.”

She grabbed a towel from somewhere in the office. Getting the towel damp, she began to shabbily and
intensely wipe on my baby’s tender skin.

“This is how to wipe your baby properly. Those things you are using are barely strong enough to have
him properly wiped with all the fluids absorbed.”
I looked at the way she handled my baby and wiped his anus vigorously, almost like she wanted to injure
him. I was displeased with this, I did not need to be this violent on the tender skin of a newborn baby.
She even had to put his fingers in his mouth so he would be distracted, sucking on them and not cry
from what she was doing. It did not make any sense that my baby had to be

So roughly handled each time just to clean up his shit, yet I did not complain. Maybe I was trying to be
polite, or I was banking on their reputation as professionals in the field for a long time now.

I was certainly not going to adopt this procedure, though, not on my boy.

She looked like she was even more displeased than I was, like how I handled my baby was a crime and
was particularly so much of her business. She would not stop complaining, even about what he wore.

“This clothing is not made from fleece. How could you buy these for him? Every child in Norway is
entitled to good clothing. I really do not know where you get your ideas from.”

Fleece was a wool-like or velvety kind of fabric with. Certain softness, it was made from a sheep’s skin. I
did not realize that almost all children born in Norway wore majorly only clothes made from fleece, not
that the weather particularly demanded it at the time.

When she was done with her lecture and painful nagging, she went away and left me with my child to
complete the diaper change. I disposed of the soiled diaper neatly tied in nylon and reached out to get a
fresh one. I quickly changed the diapers and decided to feed my baby breast milk. I freed my left to
breathe from the clothing I wore and inserted it in the baby’s mouth,

Watching as he sucked hungrily, with much joy and pleasure.

Just then, another nurse came with her own bizarre suggestions and lecture on how I held my baby
while breastfeeding him.

“No, no, no… Press his head against your chest and ensure his stomach touches your abdomen.

That is the right way to do it. Have you not been told?”
“But my baby will not be able to breathe properly if I clutched him so tight to my body.”

At this, she pressed my child’s head close to my chest, and his whole body was clutched in mine.

“He is breathing just fine, Madam. We have had more experiences in this than you have. He must be
positioned that way whenever you are breastfeeding him until he turns blue”.

I did not utter any word anymore. Where did all these women get these ideas from? I strongly doubted
their professionalism at this point. I mean, most of them were even really quite old and primitive while
some looked displeased with their lives and jobs. Were these the kind of characters to really trust with
my child’s care? The lab technician I had been waiting for finally

Came into the room when I was almost done breastfeeding my baby. He was a rusty and swarthy aged
man with a funny mustache that gave him the appearance of a magician. It seemed like he was from
India, I read from the Name Card on his desk that he was Mr. Singh. He had quite a deep voice and
seemed to stutter at very minor intervals when he spoke:

“Sorry I kept you here waiting, I was attending to some matters. Is this the lad for the test?”

He was pointing on my boy, who was tugging at my blouse at this time like he had not had enough
breast milk and wanted more.

“Yes, he’s the one. Sorry, may I know what this test exactly is for?”

“Just routine tests, especially to check his bilirubin level. If you don’t mind, we would like to take his
blood samples now”.

A middle-aged Indian man with a long, fancy started to draw blood from my baby. He drew and drew a
lot of blood, so much that I became scared and wondered just what he needed so much blood for from
such a little boy.

“Just how much blood do you need to take?”

“Just about 400 microliters of blood will be fine.”

I was stupefied. 400ul? That seemed way over the edge, no such amount of blood was ever drawn from
a kid for such tests. But there was no way I could interfere with the process, he was the expert.

When he was finally done with the extraction, he let us go saying that they would work on the results
and get back to us in time.

On the evening of that day, we got a call from the hospital. They were demanding that my husband and I
return to the hospital the following day to donate more blood for more tests claiming that the results of
the tests they had conducted so far were above normal.

“This is not acceptable, Mr. Singh. I think I would consult a different clinic”.

They vehemently restricted me from consulting a different clinic, threatening to report to Child
Protection Services. I would say I was naive, ignorant. I opted to plead with them rather than fight for
my rights and defend myself and my baby. These people had caused me so much trauma already, and I
still could not see that they did not mean well for my child and I. I let them

Intimidate me believing they were professionals to keep the conflict level low. Remembering all of it
now, I wish I knew better, my experience would not have been so bad.

I was traumatized even after a year my childbirth process, I was very careful about people, I guess I was
scared to trust people so easily anymore.

CHAPTER TWO

AFTER DELIVERY

Having a baby turned my life upside down.

My son was born a beautiful and calm boy. Everyone noticed him and talked about him.

We woke up at night at the same time. I opened my eyes and saw him looking at me. I was happy to
feed my baby. I felt what he wanted. We seemed to be talking in the same nameless language.

I began to notice things that I had not noticed before. I did not do anything criminal, but I was punished.
They declared me dangerous for the baby and separated us. Concerns about thoughts about child
protection bodies tormented me even at night. So weeks and months went by, I discussed with my
family with whom I lived what was frightening me. But they did not reassure me, saying that they
themselves did not know what would happen. It seemed to me also strange. I began to realize that the
mother-in-law with the guardianship authorities had a conspiracy against me. The mother-in-law
reported everything that I did. Manipulated and tried to control me.

Of course, they caused moral damage, infringed on my feminine and development as a mother. In this
country, mothers are treated with irony, as if they were no longer women. I want to say that mothers
are also women, regardless of age, nationality, religion, social status. There is no need to infringe on a
woman’s sexual freedom when they become mothers or control the right to have children. To take away
this right is cruel and unnatural.

Second December 2015, I gave birth to a wonderful baby. It was premature birth as a result of injury
during inspection in the hospital of Haugesund in Norway. The boy was born healthy and beautiful. The
incident that happened just four days after my son got delivered stirred up my maternal instincts. Why
was I the only one seeing things wrong? Here these people were, insisting on drawing blood from my
baby again after the 400ul of blood they drew just the previous day. It was obvious they were exploiting
us for commercial purposes. My husband did not see this, though, not even his parents. They all went
back to the hospital with me that day. I demanded treatment for my child, but they insisted that they
would have to do a full confirmatory test before prescribing any treatment. In other words, they were
going to take more blood. I was

Furious, my husband gave them the consent to draw my boy’s blood again without any hesitation or
forethought. I was going to protest this, but The Doctor threatened to report me to Child care
Authorities if I persisted in interrupting the process, and I really had no one backing me up. My child
kept on crying repeatedly, I did not know that they had placed a laser bilirubin tester on my child
without my consent.

The Doctor, Lene Grasmo Aase, made do with her threat; a report was filed against me on accounts of
severe Paranoia, mental health, and indifference to the needs of the child.

Message to the child wellfare service.

The child’s mother opposes treatment and blood sampling of the child. This is also when she is explained
to our routines and guidelines for investigation and treatment. Mother does not want nurses to look
after the child or take care of the child. Mom goes home when we recomend they stay. Mother shows
behavior that suspects paranoid thoughts. She has been supervised by psychiatrists who describe these
symptoms. Furthermore, Lene’s application provides a basis for the need for follow-up and this is
implemented via an emergency outpatient psychiatric team. The child’s grandfather is very concerned
about mother’s mental health. There have been symptoms even before pregnancy where she may have
shown threatening behavior to the man. They are very worried about the family. Mother cares for the
child with breastfeeding and care. Father shows interest in providing the best possible care. Are
outreach to ensure this. Shows understanding of the measures being implemented. Am clearly worried
and sorry for the situation.

Admission to the newborn ward from 05-06/12.

The degree of seriousness in the situation: Very serious.

Do parents agree to send a message? Yes, Dad. It is uncertain whether mother will bring this up for
discussion. Dad is present during the conversation. You also have an in-depth conversation with the
father afterwards with information that child welfare has been contacted and that he will be contacted
afterwards by phone for further follow-up.

Message from

Date: 06.1215

Signature: Lene Grasmo Aase

I was forced to go to a psychologist so that stress would not pass to the child. I had to go to DPS –
psychiatric center.

At long last, after long discussions, 5th December 2015 I got treatment for my son. My boy was placed
under phototherapy lamps for 24hours. We stayed all through the day till the following day when we
were discharged. Urgently, at night two psychologists were called to ask me questions. They assured me
having stress and recommended to go in DPS. The next day, two agents Regnhild Hustmuved and Linda
Strømsvold from child care organization came and talked to me for a long time. I made some findings
and eventually discovered that the maximum level of blood needed for standard bilirubin testing was
just about 70ul and in some countries and places,

Just a few drops. They had taken more two times the required volume of blood from my child and three
times laser blood test.

The laws around the Norwegian city was not in any way favorable to mothers. They treated mothers like
they were not part of the society or were not women anymore, even infringed on their rights to sexual
activities and

Further procession. No one understood my point of view in everything, I was bitter and broken. I was
made to go see a psychologist ensure my “supposed” mental stress does not pass to my child.

I visited the Psychologist they had prescribed, fortunately enough, His name was Thomas Lundqvist he
was not local, he was Sweedish. At the time, he seemed like the only one that really understood my
point of view. He

Understood that I was just a concerned and needy mother after I had explained my point of view to him.
In due time, he gave a report certifying me “completely healthy.” In a response letter, to the hospital he
complained about non-professional treatment of foreigner patients.

My husband’s family at the time offered to help, an offer I should never have accepted. We moved in
with them for a while, and in just a space of about two months, they wrecked my family.

Living with my parents-in-law was a nightmare; they made life unbearable for me, nothing I did was
right to them, they were always complaining and treated me like a mentally impaired patient.

They followed me practically everywhere, specially to the toilet. They would not let me be alone with my
baby, even at night, when I wanted to retire with him.

They would even watch while I breastfed him. I tried to avoid them as much as I could, they wanted to
control me and even enslave. My motherin-law accused me of a lot of things, even maltreating her son.
She did all of this mostly behind me and acted sweet in front of me to sway me. Also, with my new
family in Norway, my religion seemed like a taboo. I was Muslim, and they were Christians, at least, so
they said. They would not hear me mention the name of Allah in the house without backbiting or
attacking me. They treated my religion as “strange” and would not let me practice it. Everything was a
problem for, and to them, they were intolerant in every way. I tried not to conflict with the family with
which I lived and relax.

When it was Christmas, we celebrated it together as a family, not like I had any choice though, I was
stuck in this hell. We were having a peaceful Christmas; the dishes were all lined up, and gifts were
everywhere from everyone. While the festivities and all was going on, my mother-in-law made a rude
comment about the gift-giving activities which threw me aback.

“She did not get any gifts for anyone for Christmas because she gave a child for Christmas.”

She was referring to me. She laughed after she said this, but I could tell she was not joking, and even if
she was, it was a very rude joke. Why would she say that? It was obvious they were doing all they could
to tick me off and frustrate me. I was already under a lot of pressure from all that had been happening,
including the pains I had to undergo from childbirth injuries. Eventually, I

Decided to fight back. I was not letting them have their way with me anymore; I protested their laws and
behavior towards me. They now saw me as a threat. In all of this, my husband did nothing to help or
support me. He went with whatever his parents said or did. When they saw I had begun to fight back,
they kicked me out of the house and gradually from my son’s life. Leaving the house surely gave me
peace of mind, I felt more at rest and less haunted. But then, I was scared for my son. They would not let
me have him, He was going to stay back in that hellhole without me. I feared what his fate might be.

My husband Oskar said he was tired of my worries, I was the one at fault again, as always. He had begun
to see everything wrong with me, even down to my own mother. We had problems a lot of times in the
past because he tried to stop my mum from visiting, for no obvious reasons.

My mum had visited after I gave birth to support me. I needed her around; she was like the only one on
my side. He did not want her around, I never really got to understand what his problem with my mum
was anyways, he went to extreme lengths to keep her away. Oscar played on my nerves. He demanded
me to start work to earn own money. Oscar showed me pictures of other woman on the phone whom
he was sponsored since she got pregnant from him as they though. I could not even shout at him
because I knew his mother will tell to child care authorities how bad I behave. In no time, they accused
my mum of attempted murder on her own grandson, also for trying to steal money from my safe. Oscar
and his brother Rasmus attacked my mother, threatened her to leave the apartment and move to the
hostel.
Oscar filed a case against her, and the authorities insisted that her only option out of it all and the only
way they would let her see my son again was if she signed papers agreeing to the allegations.

I knew they were just trying to rope her in and soil her reputation, I would not let them. I was happy my
mum left unscathed after all of this, though.

I was staying alone in Norway; in the most gangster town in Haugesund, where anyone even a child
could buy heave drugs from a police officer. They had taken my child after I got kicked out of my
husband’s house. I was not just ready to go anywhere yet, it was too early besides I was not well enough
in the least, these were the periods where the pains I had incurred during childbirth were at their worst.

My phone rang one fateful day, my husband was on the line, I picked it up;

“Hello”

“Hey.., you called”

“Yeah… how are you?”

“I am alright. How is my son, How’s William?”

“He’s fine, he’s well. This is not about him, though, I called for a different reason.”

There was a long silence as I waited for what he had to say. Next, I wondered what it could be

This time. What was the fate of my son and me? Did his parents have something new to say? Did
Childcare have something new to say?

“I think we should take a break, we should part ways for now. We need to visit the family affair’s office.”
This was my husband’s way of saying he did not want me anymore, I knew it. My life was turning upside
down, everything I feared was happening to me. Oskar was going to take my son from me,

I knew none of this would go in my favor. The Guardianship authorities Linda S and Fin T. Said that my
son was already two months old and did not need his mother as he could survive without milk. I was not
willing to let go, I could not let them take my son away from me. Fin on the way to door, asked me to
give up with my child and never come back again!

I went to the family office to plead with Oscar. I swallowed my pride, I was willing to put up with
anything just to ensure they will not take my son from me.

“This is just temporary Aliya, it is just a temporary separation, we would be back together soon.”- said
Oscar.

I could not tell if I believed him when he said this or if I was just trying to prevent things from getting
violent or escalate any further. Either way, I chose to go with what he said and did not make much of a
fuss about it. He persuaded me that we needed to follow whatever the Guardianship authorities said. Of
course, he would say that he had already made sure they would rule everything in his favor and dance
to his desires, I did not have such powers. The barely ever gave any consideration to Mothers, especially
ones like me that had no powers, ranking, or connection. The representative from the Guardianship
authorities was quite subtle; her name was Linda Stromswold. She acted all nice and sympathized with
me over what was happening, she made me believe she was on my side and would make sure I get all
my maternal rights to the child. I was told that the rights of the mother and father will remain equal, and
only the schedule of meetings is signed. Agent Linda Stromswold from the guardianship authorities sat
between me and my husband. She stroked my hair and looked into my eyes. From time to time she
wiped her eye, continued to hold my attention. I asked her if her job was easy for her. She said it was
usually not difficult. She is not difficult with me, she praised me for my good behavior. She hugged me
and said that everything would be fine with my child. My hands were shaking so I could not hold a glass
of water I was holding my tears.

Linda S. Kept me sufficiently distracted and played me to get my signature on the papers.

While at the family affairs office, I was played and deceived; they successfully got me to sign some
papers which they said was related to schedule of visitations with my baby. According to them, they
stated that the document specifies that I would still have equal rights with my husband and stipulated
the days and periods, my child will be allowed to come to me. I did not know that what they had written
in Norwegian, the papers were entirely different from what they had read out to me I fell for all of what
she said, she was a woman like me, I felt she understood my plight. After the signing was done, my ex-
husband held my hands. They were all masters at this game and sufficiently made me believe in their
acts of sincerity. I walked out with my ex-husband, he held my hands throughout the walk home from
the office. He promised once more convincingly;

“I will return to you soon.”

The agent looked after us and stayed to get copies of some other documents. I was waiting for my son
every hour of my life I thought about him. I was ready to forgive everything just to be near my son. But a
week later, the son was brought only on schedule, following the contract. I waited a month, then began
to suspect that my husband himself did not know what he was doing.

It seemed like Oskar was confused like he did not know what he was doing. He came up eventually to
tell me that the Guardianship authorities asked him not brake up with me for the child’s best interests. I
asked Linda Stromswold about this if that’s true, and she declined influencing any of Oscar’s decisions.

At that time, Linda said that she hadn’t asked for anything and that Kristoffer made that decision
himself. The guardianship authorities are not responsible for his decisions.

In the long run, I realized I was somewhat being played and taken for a ride. Linda Stromswold and her
partner Regnhild Hustmuved asked me to go back to school, learn Norwegian, become a sociable and
good mother. They said that we must tell the child that I love him. Our family needs to get better.

Socialize, learn the language. I did as they wanted. I went back to norwegian language school. Sitting
with eyes wide open I could not cry or shout. I felt pain every time I blinked my eyes, and at that
moment I saw my child and I missed him. I was afraid for us so much that I felt chest pain.

Every time after school I went home upset and then to the gym. I hoped to become stronger and
withstand any pressure and violence.

I couldn’t concentrate on my studies and anything.

I have been waiting for my husband every day, weeks, months. So it took 3 months, my husband did not
return to me. At the next meeting in the family office, he said that he will return possibly after the
summer.
I felt Oscar really would bring my son, he knew how much I love our baby. But as time passed, he did not
keep to his promise; he did not return. Every hour with my son Oscar staired at me, watched us. He was
demanding and stressed me for any issue or misunderstanding. Baby tears and my pray meant nothing
for him. I waited and waited patiently, thinking of how my son could possibly be faring, I was missing out
on all his “firsts,” all the early stages of growth and early experiences a mother shares with her child. I
badly wanted another chance with my son.

I checked out from DPS in February 2016 with complaint to hospital personal which is not well trained to
work with foreigners. At that time my psychologist Thomas Lundqvist advised me to talk another
psychologist who is more competent in maternity and health issues. Her name was Waage, Anna
Rosenberg. She told me, ‘’This is a challenging time for you now. Hold out! You are a wonderful woman
with great values and resources. No matter what the outcome is – you are an important resource in your
son’s life!’’

We kept in touch several months. By her opinion I was fully capable of taking care of myself and my son.
She gave me some good information and contacts. I started to go in greenhouse and meet new people.
There I started yoga and glass décor classes. We became closer friends with my yoga instructor. Her
name was Cecilia, she told me her bad experience with Child Protection Authorities. Her three years old
son was legally stolen from her two years ago. She was deeply despairing in every conversation due to
the situation she and the child are in. I had to admit that I perfectly understand her emotions. My family
also broke after the help of social services. My husband Oscar holds me on a distance from my newborn
son which I still breastfeed through breast pump. She was terrified and angry at Oscar. She said I have to
go to lawyer and gave me a contact of Advokatfirmaet Eurojuris Haugesund AS. Anna Waage also
advised me not to waste time waiting Oscar and consult with a lawyer.

Under strong convictions, I decided to contact a lawyer, this was getting beyond me. I please with
Attorney Sander to establish some sort of dialogue with my ex-husband relating to what we had
previously discussed concerning my maternal rights. It was then the attorney came back to me to give
me a bit of information that shocked me to my bones;

“You do not have a maternal right.”

This sounded funny to me, what was the attorney trying to say to me? Did I hire the wrong man for the
job? Were they going to dehumanize me now?

“I do not understand you, attorney, what does that even mean? Every woman has maternal rights under
the Constitution of every Country.”
“Well, that is true. But a document exists in the archives showing that you signed off your maternal
rights to the child, thereby giving the father full custody of him. The document more or less signifies that
you rejected the child.”

“Oh, no, attorney! I did not sign anything of the sort.”

It was then I began to finally understand what had just had happened, how I had been fooled by Oscar
and the same authorities that we were supposed to protect my rights and keep to their laws; they were
supposed to have a child’s interest at heart before anything else. And also, why was Oscar so furious at
me? Why was he bent on keeping me away from my child? He just had so many things to accuse me of
that were not even true.

“They deceived me; they made me believe it was a mutual agreement favoring both parties and sharing
parental responsibilities.”

“Well, I guess we would have to contend it in Court then.”

I was willing to go ahead and fight for my rights in court, but then, I was getting scared knowing the
extents my husband could go to keep my son from me. He had more than me to fight; the money, the
connections, and even the citizenship, he was born and bred here, he knew to manipulate everything
and everyone to favor him. Did I really stand a chance? What could he possibly do next?

“Okay, attorney, but we have to be careful too.”

“You have nothing to worry about Aliya, you’ve really got nothing to lose anyway. They already stripped
you of your rights, we will just try to get it back, even if it’s just a part of it”.

Oskar got even bitterer on the realization that I was going to Court, It strained our relationship further.
He was furious and enraged, he wanted to make all the decisions relating to my child and me, he
practically wished to rule our lives as he pleased. He had his mother fully in the manipulation game with
him; they were ready, maybe more than I was. Lawfully, we knew that the signature on those papers
should have been instantly declared void given that it was not correctly translated and interpreted.
Oscar kicked me out of the apartment in Haugesund. The Sundhordvik family kicked me out twice from
the house.

I moved to live in a student house. I lived in a room of 10m2. This was all I could afford.

He sent this letter to my lawyer:

………………………………

Reply to letter sent 04.07.2016 Case no .: 13167

If you want to help Aliya, I urge you not to let it hurt the best interests of the child. When you threaten
to degrade William’s life, I lose the desire to help Aliya. And I can not in my wildest imagination to figure
out who has helped, and is helping, and (still) wants to help Aliya more than I have done.

O (But) I have become a father, and I choose to prioritize as follows: William first and foremost – 100%
his needs and best. Then I do what I can to help Aliya. (My help to Aliya is given from the capacity I have
left over after William has had his needs and his best met)

Twice per letter, and several times in the telephone conversation with Aliya’s lawyer (you), I have
experienced being threatened with trial if in practice I am not willing to change this priority. It does not
help much to add the comment “the best interests of the child” if in practice one thinks “Aliya’s best
interests, if it is at the expense of the best interests of the child”.

Before William was born, I saw police posters this www.hvorlite.no ‘hanging around town, and it made
me think. My conclusion for our situation was that I can be as in love as I want, and I can endure as
much as I want, as long as it only affects me. BUT I have no right to be indifferent to our child growing up
in such conditions.

We are not separated for no reason. It is not my feelings or personal desires to flaunt my wings that are
the cause of separation. On the contrary.

If you want to help Aliya, I suggest once again that you do this without letting it hurt the best interests of
the child.
As I said, I want to help Aliya, but everything has an end, only the sausage has two.

To avoid misunderstandings, let me make it clear: If our cooperation becomes too difficult, I will not be
able to take care of her anymore.

To avoid misunderstandings, let me make it clear: If I have to use energy to defend ourselves against a
fight that should be unnecessary, then Aliya must start paying rent until she moves out of the house, (or
moves out of the country?) and also start paying their own bills and expenses, or find another solution.

But Aliya and I have a relatively good collaboration as of today, and if no outsider messes it up, then I
see no reason why it should go so wrong.

Still, then-Attorney Sander said that we would have to let

The court make the decision, and it was impossible to have the judge rushed in such matters. I

Just stayed calm; I could do nothing at that moment.

Soon enough, there was a hearing in court. I had so much to say, a lot had been done wrong to

Me, but I could not say everything as they were. This was my major claim;

“Why was I given a document to sign without any explanation or interpretation? Especially a

Document as important and decisive as that one that involved the well-being of my child? The

Same child they were sworn to protect? Why did they violate their very own laws and manipulate a
mother in such a manner? Child care authorities say my little boy does not need me because he can
survive without breast milk, how about the mother love, care, and attention he was being deprived of?
How about the maternal warmth? Sound sleep and comfort? They had turned my child into an
experiment, imposed on him rules they would not impose on their own children”.

One day after school, I cried all the way and talked to God. I was wondering if he knew what was going
on. Did he know where I was? Is it my fault that I was forgotten by God in the wilderness.

I felt still alive inside, but I longed for a better life. I wanted to give my child everything I could. Why
couldn’t we be together?

I stopped at a cafe to buy vegan food. The salesman asked if I was vegan and offered me a job as a
kitchen assistant. He said he needed my help and I could help him. I agreed and submitted my resume.

I was glad of this chance and could not miss it. It was very difficult to get a job without good Norwegian
language skills. In this cafe I could speak English.

This, I thought, was a very strong case. I mean, it should be obvious to anyone that I have been nothing
but a victim in all of this; me and my child. A Forensic expert and some Psychologist, Anita, were
introduced in the case. Anita was to observe me again, even though the former

Psychologist had declared me healthy. She said she was going to conclude her observation by the spring
of the next year, which was about eight months. All for what? To be sure, I was not a danger to my own
child. Sometimes I wondered how I managed to become a suspected mental case.

All about the Norwegian culture and childcare methods are messed up. During the connection with my
child, in Haugesund hospital the surrounding nurses could always unceremoniously interfere with my
communication and how I communicated with my childlike they even reserved a right to do that. No
wonder and could not trust them to take more blood from my son. I asked to let me go in other clinic for
check up but they just hated me. Nurse said that here you make all for free and this is the best
treatment you could possibly get. Most of all we wan child to have his best interests! Children in Norway
have rights!

They spoke rudely, authoritatively, and in elevated tones, making baseless and unreasonable claims
masking these silly claims under the official laws and the Norwegian rights of children.

They wanted me to act the way they thought was right, to obey all their directions even though they
were wrong. The Norwegian culture lacked tolerance and patience to raise children.

Working with children requires strong nerves, as these kids barely knew what they were doing.

The Norwegians saw danger at every turn and draw sudden and bizarre conclusions. They did not know
to support kids in difficult situations, but always exacerbated the situation and made them even more
nervous. In social services, women work with children, and they have harsh educational methods. From
three months old, newborns were taught to listen to permits and prohibitions, they were not given
room to develop a personality of their own. Their methods of punishing kids were too harsh even for the
minutest offenses. This dogmatic medieval upbringing entrenched in the culture of the Norwegians. I
guess that was why they had a problem with me,

My methods were different. I did not apply to enslave or forced methods of education. I believe Children
learn better by playing and understanding emotions.

One time Oscar at his infancy, served my son with living worms take care of my son than allow me to do
it. Most times, just the thought of what he

Might be feeding my son all the time that I was not around made me sick to my stomach.

Meeting with my child again, I began to realize just the amount of damage my absence had caused him.
Oskar did not take care of our son properly, and sincerely, I was not surprised. Not necessarily because
he was a man, and I expected him not to know so much but because he was not one of those men to be
disposed to these kinds of things. He did not feed my boy properly

And left him in stained and dirty clothes from food droplets all day long, he would not even clean the
debris off William’s face. What was more, he never changed his diapers on time? Eventually, he got
burns from extensively soiled diapers. I could not help but notice and register my displeasure at my
child’s state.

“He’s got burns.”

“What a baby hasn’t got burns? Don’t get dramatic! “

“But…..”

“That is nothing you should worry about, the baby’s fine.”

I felt bad for my son, I was pained, this was not the life I had planned for him. My boy had become a
shadow of his former self; Nervous and irritable with little or no appetite.

Anita was present once every month during the child visits; she studied and asked me questions.
Her questions were selected randomly, mostly from politics and culture. She started off with the
sympathetic approach, I felt she was on my side at least that was what she made and wanted me to
believe, that she truly understood the pains of parting with a child. The questions she asked, however,
were to indict me. From them, she drew conclusions that I was insecure and a danger

To my child.

On one of those visits, I was feeding the baby. He had begun to grow little baby teeth. I bought fruits and
peeled the bark and the seeds before feeding him the fruit. Anita was asking me questions as usual, and
I was trying to balance my attention between her and my boy. At the time she asked a question about
the First lady of my country, I got quite distracted and did not notice that William had taken one of the
seeds into his mouth. She shouted and dipped her fingers into his mouth to take out the seed. William
was not choking or anything, the boy was perfectly alright. She overreacted in a manner that made it
seem like a child could die from swallowing tamarind seeds.

I was terrified, but I had no much tools to protect myself. I believed that I have to be strong, healthy and
withstand that period. I trained myself, started to smoke and fitness. I went on a gym three times per
week sometimes every day and I started to feel different.

I passed the examination in, and spoke with several surgical clinics in Bergen, Oslo and in Gdynia in
Poland. In the summer of 2017, I underwent intimate plastic surgery to correct postpartum trauma in
Poland. Literally a week later I was pleased with the result, but the plastic was far from perfect. And I
signed up for additional correction.

After 8 months Anita wrote a report about her observations. She made a case of it on the next trial
accusing me of eccentricity and carelessness, almost like I

Lacked motherly instincts. She advocated a severe measure be taken; that I should only be allowed to
see my boy for 8 hours a year under close supervision. I could not believe all that was happening was
this just still a bad dream? Would I ever wake up from it? All these were certainly too much to bear.
Coming from a psychologist who should understand the effect all these would have on me and my son.
This psychologist obviously did not know much about psychology, who barely was even consistent with
her 8 months observatory scam, it hurt so much that they were almost willing to sustain her advocacy;
From 5 hours a week, my time with my son was slashed

Down to 8 hours in a whole year! What was going to be next? Total prohibition and restriction?
And yet all I heard was everything was done in the child’s best interest, everyone blew the little incident
out of proportion and began to imagine what could or could not occur.

Locals have so many children in their families, then they bother you. They shout at them, scold, make
bans. And I visited my child for one hour a month, and they demand from me that I be like other
mothers. I don’t want to impose other people’s rules that I’m new to. No need to mock children. There
are better things in life than strict rules. You need to be able to notice it. Legal standards in Norway do
not comply with current international legal standards. What century is it? I consider it necessary to say
that every child is special. The same method of education does not suit everyone. My child is north and
south. In our Caucasus, children are given a lot of attention, especially mothers, not neighbors or
relatives. This is also the norm in many countries. Norway has a different attitude towards small and
large families. Since ancient times, because of financial dependence and poverty, they prefer large
families with a division of labor and material support. Such families are called gifts or bonus family.
Social welfare services are preceded as if, having got into such a family, a stranger’s child can become an
equal member of the family and receive appropriate care. In fact, most families take children for extra
personal income and dominating on children what’s called setting boundaries. Suppress their
personality in children.

My child was subjected to growing up under constant shock and psychological embattlement. And this
was the fate of almost every Norwegian child. They grew up in fear, with no room for liberality. I was a
stranger in a strange land, they would not just let me come in and change their patterns of living and
existence over the years. I was not a figure like Mary Slessor or some Nelson

Mandela of my time. I knew somewhere, deep down, some of the women did not really like the rules
their society presented, especially the younger ones and maybe the educated ones among them.

I knew their motherly instincts sometimes pricked them for how they seemingly “trained” their children
under such harsh conditions. Still, they would not just object or say anything contrary because they had
been made to believe it was in the child’s best interest. For the unenlightened ones, even though
maternal instincts yanked at them, they really knew no other way to raise children other than the way
they had been shown, so they just stuck to it. I came from a different world, a world where a child was
at liberty to express, to react, to be a child. Also, a world where mothers were paid more attention to
and did not have their rights and entitlements denied even in the event of separation or divorce.

The general international laws guiding parental responsibilities stated the following; after a divorce,
separation, or the termination of a registered partnership, the ex-partners retain their parental access
rights concerning the children. In this shared/ joint parental responsibility, you and your ex-partner must
agree on care and access arrangements. Even if one of you does not

Have (or no longer has) parental responsibility that parent still has parental access rights and the right to
be kept informed about the children. In such cases, the parents decide on an access arrangement
together. There are no standard arrangements imposed by law. The two of you decide when, how often,
and for how long the parent that the children don’t live with sees the

Children. The agreements you make are then incorporated into the parenting plan.

The only exception to this law was in cases where one of the parents handed over all rights to the child
to the other parent or in cases where. The parent that would have physical custody of the child was
determined based on the child’s best interest by the court, who would care for the child better, who the
child was closest to, or where the child was not at any risk of abuse, violence

Or neglect. These were the international laws I knew and believed, I deserved every right to my child, I
had not been a risk to him in any way. Other exceptions to these laws were in cases where the child was
about 12 years old, at least. In such cases, the child was asked which parent he wanted to go to. But in
all, under the law, both parents reserve the right to the child as long as

They were not a risk to them.

I wanted to fight for the rights to my son, but I did not even know if I had what it took to fight. All the
odds seemed to not be in my favor, I only relied on Allah to help me. These people had more money and
Influence than I did and knew the Norwegian ways better, and also the people. It helped them
successfully twist and use my own words and actions against me. At a point, while

I was thinking of the next possible line of action, I thought maybe what I needed to do was move to a
bigger city, Stavanger in search of a better life, rebuild myself and my worth as a woman and

An independent mother.

The case in court was not over, I mailed an article like a letter to some editors about my ordeal in social
media, and they published it thus;

ARTICLE

Our editors received a letter from one of our regular readers. We just couldn’t help publishing it. Our
children are our everything, but in medicine, they only look at them as a reliable donor. It hurts … we
suggest you read this letter:

I moved to the city of Haugesund in Norway after I got married to my husband. Just last December, I
gave birth to a wonderful baby. He was born healthy and beautiful. On the 4th day in the hospital, we
performed blood tests: screening and bilirubin. I was asked not to look at how they will take blood from
my baby, I was given no right or control over this process.

Every year before delivery, I personally donated blood for prevention, to check hemoglobin level and for
general blood tests. This made me really amazed and perturbed that so much blood was collected from
my child for bilirubin, exactly 400 μl (microliters) of blood, from an infant.
Returning home, I checked whether it was safe to have the baby donate so much blood. My husband
helped to calculate the proportions, it turned out that there appeared to be no health risks to it that was
not to gratify why they collected so much blood though.

On the evening of the same day, they called us from the hospital, they informed me that the result was
slightly above normal and we were asked to come for additional tests. We went with the whole family;
the child’s grandmother, grandfather, father, and myself. The doctors persuaded my husband to donate
the blood of the child for the second time for another series of tests. Both doctors and my husband
ignored my opinions and would not hear my objections.

The Doctor would not even answer my simple questions as to how often we will need to donate the
child’s blood. They gave mindless excuses that they needed to see the progression of the level of
bilirubin before prescribing treatment. Perhaps within a month, they would have to take blood from the
baby. Each time they gave the child a suitable distraction and took his blood!

They called it the “norm”! Here, there are a lot of abnormal norms in Norway!

Talking with a huge number of staff, I finally got treatment for my child. Doctors pressed me and
manipulated maternal instincts to satisfy commercial interests. I know that newborns have high levels of
hormones and strong blood.

I realized that they needed blood not only for testing. After I read many articles from medical practice in
various countries. It turned out that 400 μl. Blood for this test is 20 times higher than normal. According
to standard bilirubin tests, it is enough to take a few drops. Donate blood no more than 3 times. An
accurate analysis requires 70 μl. Blood. They took 5 times more from the child. It is surprising that they
always do this with newborns. My child was not the first and certainly will not be the last in this strange
“scheme.” Without my consent, they repeatedly tested a laser bilirubin tester on the face of a child.

They explained the cries and cries of the child as normal. I read that the test can be passed in the urine.
In my opinion, this is the most optimal way. But they just laughed at me.

Doctors sent me to a psychologist, because they believed that I had paranoia. I had to go to a psychiatric
center. Fortunately, the psychologist was from Sweden, not from Norway, and he understood me very
well. After some time I was released with the report “completely healthy”.

This is how things are in Norway. Take care of yourself and uphold the right to life and health of your
baby.”
All about the Norwegian culture and childcare methods were messed up.

When I went to the police station to renew my residence permit. I met a man who spoke Turkish. He
seemed friendly and I understood what he was talking about. I showed interest in him and spoke to him.
We started talking about everything and he was concerned about my problem. He invited me to dinner
and advised me to turn, as he said, to the best lawyer in Norway. He made a call and made an
appointment with a lawyer for me. The lawyer’s name was Arvid Sсhoden and his office was in
Stavanger.

The lawyer listened to me and understood the problem. He said that I had no time to waste and that I
had to file an appeal. Fortunately, we managed to file an appeal. I moved to Stavanger in the fall of
2017. The distance between me and my child increased and it was not easy for me to live that far
beyond 35 km.

“Welcome to Stavanger”

We had just passed the huge sign signaling that we were already at our destination. I had moved to
Stavanger as I had proposed after a very long thought process. I had thought of what I stood to lose and
gain from moving and the gains incomparably outweighed the loss. The only real loss I could think of
was that I was drawn farther away from my child, every other reasoning was to my favor.

I had only just noticed as I left the city where I had lived with my husband, the beautiful scenery that lay
in it. It had been so difficult to see beauty in a place that had caused me so much pain, the pains were
mostly all the memories I would have of it, they vehemently outweighed the happy moments.

Life in the new city was a new page in my life far away from Haugesund’s monsters.

Not an easy one at first, I had to begin life afresh; do the things I had done before all over again.
Somehow though, i felt I was going to have more luck in this new City. Stavanger has it all; the fjords, the
mountains, beaches, and islands. A friendly city and did not feel like I had everyone watching me to
make an error. Once I arrived I called up the Lawyer next morning and he gave me an appointment to
come to his Chambers by noon. I got into his office and the first thing I noticed was the sweet smell of
Cider and lemon. The office was very neat and so was the lawyer in his black trousers and white shirt;
their customary uniform. He was just returning from a case, so he told me.
“I assure you that we will get Justice for you.”

He made a bunch of help to me. I was just on time to appeal the decision and we won the case with a
guidance for progression. He was recommended to me as one of the best lawyers in the area and he was
so popular.

For some reason, I believed that he could keep to that promise, i was confident i was on the right track.
Someone had once said;

“Surrendering is not always an act of cowardice, sometimes it is proof that you are wise enough to take
cover and restrategize so you can have the opportunity to fight another day.”

This was the case between Oskar and I at the moment, I had allowed things go well in his favor at the
last Court ruling, now was time for me to fight again. This time though, with an even proper strategy.

So that was how I commenced my appellation case in that new city, against the lower Court’s ruling in
favour of my husband, the court of appeal was a higher one. I was not ready to back down in fighting for
the right to have a place in my child’s life. Even if I did not win, he needed to know that I at least gave a
good fight for it. Asides from my work in the restaurant, I also wrote love stories with illustrations for
kids; I had hoped my son would come across it some day. At the same time, I was also trying to build my
own company. I had gotten a government Grant and i was building an establishment with a project on
solving Global Water Crisis. I could say they life was getting better for me, at least I could pay my bills.
For my case at the appeal court, I was referred to another Lawyer. Barrister Arvid Schodin had come
highly recommended as one of the very best lawyers in the city, this was in the fall of 2016.

I knew I had to get a good job.

Leaving the city where my son was not an easy decision to make, a lot of things crossed my mind,
possible events that could occur. I knew being in another city was going to further strain the chances of
my contact with him but then, I need to start afresh, to get a life. Besides I still had plans of protesting
the ruling the lower court in my husband’s city had given, I deserved more.

I worked from home from early morning to late evening till I found job in the city. I tried all kinds of
online job, binary then forex trading, wrote a children’s book and a project for fundraising. My first night
in Stavanger was filled with thoughts, I could barely sleep. I had thoughts of where I would begin from in
this big city, how would I go about looking for a job? How were things going to be for my son and I now?
A lot of times I had wished I did not even get married to Oskar, that I had not gone so far away from
home. But then, I had come to see it as my reality.

Well, the plan as of then was, “Just walk on the streets until you see a vacancy sign”. I had checked out a
few areas online though that were looking to hire but most of them were demanding what i did not
have just yet; lengthy years of experience and higher academic qualifications for some. However about
one or two of them had seemed within my reach and I had planned to start from there. I had left my
room just in time to get a bus at the bus stop, a lot of people were already on their way to work, I
wished I was them at the moment. I dropped off at my stop dusted off the dust from my gown; the
vehicle was really dusty like it had not been washed that morning.

I walked towards the restaurant and got inside. The restaurant only had a few people in it at the time. It
was not difficult to spot out who the owner of the restaurant was, he was a middle-aged man and had
hair like tiny boiled noodles. It was difficult to tell his Nationality, he looked somewhat Indian and
indigenous at the same time. He welcomed me with a beaming smile, almost instantly changing my
mood

“Good morning Sir”

“Good morning Miss, what can I help you with?”

“Can I have a cup of coffee?”

“Sure thing, coming right up!”

I had thought the strategy would probably be better off. I planned to engage the owner in a
conversation before stating my intentions.

“This is a beautiful restaurant.”

“Thank you very much Miss!”

“Seems like it’s just you here though?”

“Well, mostly. It’s not a very big restaurant, although with the increase in the number of our customers,
I’m considering getting a hand to help especially in the evenings.”

“Well, I better apply in person now before you put up the notice.”

I beamed a shy sly smile. I was hoping I was getting through to him and he would really consider me to
help out in the restaurant. He had served me my coffee now, I had just stood at the counter chattering
and waiting on him to prepare the coffee.

“You want the job?”

“Yes, I am interested, I can assist you here. My name’s Aliya, I just moved to Stavanger recently and I
really need a source of livelihood to support myself and cater for my needs.”

“Ohhh.. Okay, Welcome to Stavanger Aliya. Hope the city has been treating you right so far?”

“Certainly, I will be even much more memorable if you give me this shot please.”

He smiled like he was saying to me; “I know what you’re trying to do”. Then he continued;

“Okay Miss, so what can you do? What meals can you prepare?”

“I can prepare about anything.”

“Vegan dishes.., that’s what we serve here”

“I can do that too, very well”

“Okay then, I’ll have to see what you can do first off, you will prepare samples for me to taste.
Meanwhile, are you married? Did you move in here with any family?”

“Well, I am currently not married, I’m divorced. I actually need this job more for my son, I’m fighting
over parental rights with his father”

“Ohhh.. that’s sad. I can only imagine what that’s like.”

He took me to the kitchen and gave me some raw ingredients to make some vegan pizza and
cappuccino. I assumed he was testing me not just for great taste, but speed as well. Customers needed
their orders ready as quickly as possible. In very little time, I was done. From the look I could see on his
face, it was certain I had impressed him and met up to standards.

“You’ve got the job”

“Thank you so much, this means a lot to me”

“You’re going to be starting tomorrow then, right?”

“Sure. I will be here as early as possible”

“Okay then, I will be waiting. “

I walked out of the restaurant after he had shown me the few places there were to see in the
restaurant. I felt happy and content, the day had been beautiful after all. Working in the restaurant was
just the perfect kind of job I needed at the moment and I had also managed to develop a good
relationship and communication with my boss. I had not forgotten my plans to appeal to a higher court
on the case for my son and this seemed like the job that would give me ample time for that when the
time came. I was majorly going to be working the evenings. I got a bus and went home. It was just
almost evening when I got back so I decided to get some supplies and groceries that would last me for a
month at least. I had a job now, I may not have time to often get groceries. When I got back, I began to
make dinner; I was hungry and wanted some heavy food. After I had eaten, I had my shower and
reclined to my bed to go through some more recipes for vegan diets, especially Pizzas and Cappuccinos.
That was what he really needed me to make. I had dozed off without even realizing it.
The following day, I got up early and tidied my room and did some laundry. I began to prepare for work
afterwards, I had opted to come earlier some days to help too since I really had nothing to do with my
mornings and early afternoons yet and I really could not just wait to start working, I felt it would help
keep my mind away from a lot of things. I worried deeply about my son though. Most times I would call
to hear his voice or watch him through Skype. My little boy was growing up so fast. He could say things
now and have a coherent conversation. I longed to see him more than anything. My first day working at
the restaurant was great. My boss was a very nice man and engaged me a lot of times too in
conversations. I was at peace here. In no time, I was already familiar with the environment and all of the
customers. I virtually knew everyone’s “usual order” by now.

It was at the restaurant that I met Wenche. The boss told her about my problem and She agreed to take
a look at the case and wished to advice me. She had come there to eat one time and from the way she
conversed with my Boss, you would know that they were much rather close.

She had stepped at around 5pm, looking tired, yet unperturbed. She walked straight to where I stood
taking orders;

“Good morning”

“Good morning Miss. Can I take your order?”

“I want vegetarian pizza.”

“Okay Miss,. Please sit at a table while I serve you.”

She sat down and began to eat. When she was done, she came up to me, smiling;

“You’re the new cook here right?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Cool. So, I take it you are the one that made the Pizza you served me?”
“Yes, I am.”

I was a little scared now; did she have some bad review to give about my Pizza? What if this would cost
me my job? She seemed really close to the Owner of the restaurant, probably one of his best customers.

“I loved it. It was amazing.”

You can imagine the great relief I felt on hearing this, I smiled nervously. My boss was around the
corner, he had heard what she said and smiled too, then came closer to where we stood.

“I told you, you would enjoy it”

Apparently, they got to let me know that she has been skeptical about eating my pizza, she was used to
the usual taste. My boss had persuaded her to try out the Pizza nonetheless.

“No doubt I enjoyed it. I am Wenche, what’s your name?”

“I am Aliya.”

“Aliya…, Nice to meet you. I’ve been told a little about you already; that you’re new and the story about
your child. That’s really sad though. Have you filed your case yet?”

“Well, not yet. I need to find a very good lawyer first to assist with the case”

“I think i could help with that. My husband is one of the judges of the appeal court; I could refer you to a
really good lawyer and also discuss your case with my husband”

This seemed almost like I am on a right path, I was getting close to the right people. Maybe this was
angel’s little way of consoling and encouraging me for all that had happened. I immediately replied and
engaged her for a while and then we exchanged contacts. I sent her documents after some time. At the
same time she gave me her contact number and invited me for a dinner in an evening to spend time
together and become friends. She said that it’s not easy to be a foreigner in this country and she tries
support foreigners as she can. During the weekend, she invited me over to the house to meet her
husband and have dinner.

It was a beautiful and lovely house, with a little thicket in front. It had a little fence around the house
which is not even up to my hips. The small gate is unlocked so I opened it even though I had a little
problem opening it. It was stiff as if it hadn’t been used so often and I was confused as to whether to
push or pull the gate. At last, I pulled it and it opened.

Her house was very beautiful and tastefully furnished. Wenche had received me warmly and in no time
we got taking. I told her my story, all of it.

I quickly turned toward her and she grabbed me in a tight hug, crying without making any effort to hide
sobs.

“I lost again,” I said amidst sobs. “I lost to him again. There are still not many changes from before. I
still lost.”

Even though she didn’t understand what I meant, she started to calm me down.

” It’s okay, it’s okay it isn’t over yet”

She began to calm me down and after a few minutes, I cleaned face and wiped tears “I am so sorry
about all that, pardon me”

Then I sat straight, squared her shoulders as if she was bracing herself for something.

“I guess the beginning would be before I got married…”

“…married? You are married?” I couldn’t keep the shock out of my voice.

“No. I was married but now I’m a divorcee.”

“It was love at first sight for Oscar and me. We were very much in love. Even though we came from
different cultures and religions, we didn’t let that deter us. We were so much in love with each other. I
even had two other suitors then, but I didn’t even give them any chance because they didn’t give me the
thrills and butterfly I got with Oscar. I couldn’t even reason logically then. I didn’t consider checking the
other factors before marriage because I believed that love was enough for us. Because we had abundant
love then, I thought it was going to sustain us. You know, the usual happily ever after mentality! What a
mistake I made!

We got married and I came to Norway. Little by little, the fantasy began to fade. I began to see the
situation as it was and the first thing was that my in-law did not like me. They didn’t appreciate the fact
that their son had married from another country and culture and worst of all, a different religion. They
didn’t bother to hide that fact at all. They made it obvious in words and acts that I was an outcast.

The second and the worst thing I realized was that my man could not stand up for me. He did whatever
he was told to do. It was as if the man I fell in love with was different from the man I married in Norway.
The so-called love that brought us together suddenly vanished into thin air.

Quarrel began to happen between my in-laws and me and my husband and me. The people around also
didn’t support me. I was the stranger, the immigrant among them. Everyone of them tagged me
different names: disrespectful, disobedient, stubborn, arrogant, and many more. My husband couldn’t
even support me. I was so alone and going through a lot of stress and pressure at that time. I had no
friends to talk or share my problems with except for one person, Katerina Nordnes.”

“I became pregnant during all these crises. Even after they knew I was pregnant, they didn’t stop giving
me the unwanted man attitude. Sometimes, when I think about it now, I wonder how I survived my
pregnancy period. Well, I could say the survival was only physical, because mentally and psychologically,
I almost didn’t survive.

Even during that time, my husband and his family were planning and preparing for divorce. I gave birth
to my son, Williams on the 2nd of December, 2016 and that was even when the second phase of the
trouble stated. The hospital officials tagged me as unstable and unfit to take care of a baby because they
said I couldn’t judge dangers.

They fabricated a lot of lies and half truths just because I disagreed with the way things were done
there. Because of this, they sent me to a psychologist to help me become stable and normal. My
husband also saw the unfair treatments I received at the hospital, and saw reasons why I flared up but
he decided to keep mute and say nothing about it.

Two months after giving birth I received another shock of my life. In the month of February 2016, my
husband and I legally separated. We were divorced. Even though, he knew I needed all the love, care,
tenderness, attention and patience I could get in the whole world, he stuck to his families decision to
send me away.

As if that was not enough, they also made arrangements to take my son from me and utterly exclude me
from my son’s life. Under the pretense of taking my boy away, they said I was in danger to his health
and cannot protect him because I couldn’t take care of my very own self because of what I was going
through.

They capitalized on it too by making me sign documents and papers I didn’t quite understand at the
time. They made me sign that I wouldn’t have any parental responsibilities over my son and that I
wouldn’t have to be a part of his life in any way.

To cut the long story short, we went to court. The ruling court was Haugaland district court. During the
course of the hearing, Psychologist Anita Hvillaug wass assigned to see us two times in a week and
observe us as her observations would be important in the court’s final rulings.

As she was told, Anita came two times in a week to observe the interaction between my son, his and I.
Sometimes Oscar would be present and some other times he wouldn’t be present. I acted just the way I
would act with my son. I played with him, showered him love just like every good mothers should but a
condemned immigrant had no chance even with a resident psychologist.

My mother-in-law who knew what was at stake took advantage of the situation. She would deliberately
make me angry or provoke me. She would want me shout so as to portray a disrespectful daughter-in-
law and an easily provoked mother before the psychologist.

Maybe my mother-in-law was extremely good at her tricks or the psychologist turned a blind eye to
whatever was going on,, she saw what my mother-in-law wanted her to see and wrote the report she
hoped she would write.”
“After all the visitations, she wrote down her report which was presented to the court. Anita, in her
observation records said that I couldn’t decipher a dangerous and life-threatening situation which could
be dangerous to my son’s well-being. She cited an incident that happened one day during her
observation visits.

That particular day, my mother-in-law had frustrated me and I was a bit absent minded. My baby
munched on a book and had little piece of paper in his mouth. Anita saw that before I did and told me
about it which I immediately removed from his mouth. I gave him an apple instead to stop him from
crying and place him on my shoulders to soothe him.

But when psychologist Anita made her reports, she said I was a careless mother who couldn’t care less if
my baby choked on Apple or swallowed tiny bits of paper. She judged the situation from her own
myopic point of view and did not even bother to ask me why I did somethings I did.

Another thing she wrote in her reports was that i couldn’t put my foot down for my baby because I
couldn’t refuse him things which according to her will not make him know that I, as the motherr is the
decision maker in his life.

She used the incidents concerning the PC to back up her claim. Meanwhile, what actually happened that
day was that Williams wanted to play with my PC and I allowed him play on it for a while before I carried
him off it but Anita viewed it as reluctance to chastise my little son.

The third thing she observed from her visits was that I was disrespectful and unruly to my in-laws which
is contrary to the cultures of the land since especially, I’m living in their house. This Is exactly what my
mother-in-law wanted the psychologist to see and she saw just that. She didn’t see beyond my in-laws
fake acts and hypocrisy. Because of this, she said to the court that I would be a bad example to my child.

As a result of her professional observation and notes, the ruling was against me. The court ruled that
Oscar alone should have parental responsibilities towards our child. I was to be allowed to see my son
eight times with two hours each in a year with my son with the presence of a Child Welfare Service
official.

After that ruling, I felt like the whole of Norway conspired against me: my husband, my in-laws, The
society, Psychologists and the Justice department. I felt greatly wronged. After a while, I came to
Stavanger to gather myself and re strategize on how to get justice for myself and for my son.
When I came here, it wasn’t easy at first leaving my son behind and only seeing him through electronic
gadgets. But I was happy because he was growing and I was on the way to make myself a part of his life
again.

I knew I needed a job if I was going to appeal in a higher court so I set to hunting jobs before I came in
contacts with the one at the restaurant where I work now. The owner is a friendly man just like you have
seen for yourself.

“I think there is a great chance that your appeal will be approved. Your case is built out of nothing and
you have all chances.” She asked who is my lawyer and said that he is very good lawyer and she can’t
help me more than he does. This made me feel lighter than I had felt since I moved to Stavanger. Finally,
someone understood my side of this story, at least partly. The rest of the dinner meeting went well. We
discussed over a wide range of topics and then I stood up to leave.

We are still friends with this special lady.

The Barrister said the Anita’s conclusion of me being a danger to my Child was baseless, unprofessional
and reckless. He promised to do everything in his power to get me the right to be a part of my son’s life
again. In Stavanger, I had also made some other new friends. I was getting my confidence and persona
right back on. I had not ceased to pray to Allah to intervene in my case and help me get my rights as a
mother, I knew he knew how I felt as a mother almost being separated from her Child. I needed all the
Goodwill I could get to fight for him. I also asked for his protection and that he would never lose his little
memories of me, I tried to keep those memories alive. The days of the case in court came and went with
each body presenting their findings.

Anita’s findings about me was reviewed and used as strong basis for the argument. This was the report
she had given;

Report from psykologist Anite Hvilhaug

Haugesund 15.2.17.

Note in Case No. 16 – 126663TVl-HAUG Aliya Sundhordvik – Sundhordvik, at the request of the court
There were two meetings per week, with father supervising, one in Haugesund at his mother’s
residence, and the other in Skudenes at his father’s parents’ residence. Relatively quickly, problems
arose between mother, Aliya and in-laws, especially the mother-in-law. It was described that there was
a situation of togetherness, where the mother-in-law had to remind mother that she now had to end
the visitation, mother became annoyed and there was a discussion, where mother accused them of
trying to take the boy and father from her. .

I then advised mother that she was wrong to do this, she was neglecting the normal behavior in Norway
and seemed not to treat her in-laws with any respect, especially when father had moved the family to
stay with his parents. Then I advised that they should work out some sort of reconciliation and peace
amongst them, because the hateful air in the family was very toxic, especially for a growing child. Both
parties agreed to this. At the end of the period, Dad was called to work and a situation then arose
where he was supposed to be away from Haugaland for 2 weeks. I had a conversation with the parties
about this, and I was assured that they would do their best not to be at war with father gone for so long
from Skudeneshavn. I further opted to join in the first meeting, to help stabilize the situation and
observe.

Generally, I observed Dad’s interaction with the boy to be absolutely striking; he had a good interaction
and contact with William. The boy appeared confident and satisfied with the father all the time. On the
observation of the mother, i had both positive and negative views on the first two encounters. At my
last meeting with the in-laws, I observed, and also got informed from the in-laws about matters that
have given rise to a degree of concern about the mother’s functioning. Below is an account of the
observations of mother and child, and conversation with in-laws;

Observations in mother 24.11.16.

Dad was present on that fateful day when I came and left right afterwards. The boy was calm and
appeared harmonious and happy. Mom was instructed to be herself, act as she would naturally act with
the child. She held him in her arms and then shrugged her shoulders. At some point, William grabbed
one of his books and bites into it. Little pieces of the book were bitten out into the boy’s mouth and
Mom did not seem to notice that at all. I stopped the boy from chewing on the paper, it was only then
she noticed what had happened and took the book away, she gave him an apple instead, He ate the
apple she gave and she put him on her shoulders for a while. There is certainly a risk that he chokes on
the apple without her noticing it. Mom then lay down on the floor with him after she put on some music
on the PC.

Mother carried him, she barely said anything to him, just little comments occasionally. However, she is
friendly and gentle. Mother has an ethereal appearance; from a distance you could get the impression
of little emotional contact between the boy and his mother. The boy looked more at u.t. than on his
mother, there was barely even any eye contact. Mom seemed happy to be with him, but the contact
was a bit remote.

The boy tried to get on top of the mother’s laptop, the mother smiled and said

“don’t break my computer”,

She however left him on top of it a bit before she took it away. I told her that she should be more
determined to get the boy to do the right things and she said that she did not wish to make him sad. I
explain that it was important that he understood from a young age that she was the one to make the
decisions. Even while he took her toothbrush, she could not take it from him. After a little argument
with me, she tried to take it from him, but the boy refused and she gave in and hugged him. The boy is
growing to understand that he can do as he pleases with the training his mother has been giving.

Observation of mother 12.1.17.

Dad was present when I arrived, but went away again shortly too. Things were quiet and seemingly
harmonious between the parties. As father left, mother stands holding William close to her, but says
nothing. After a while I asked her how things were going and she casually responded. Then she carried
him around for a bit and sat down with him in front of the PC.

Later on, she showed him how to blow a flute and a harmonica, and allowed the boy try. Mother had
the boy on her hip while doing things. When she’s doing something else and cannot carry him, she keeps
an eye on him explaining that he has been really active lately.

The boy is safe and happy, It is clear that mother is fond of the boy and proud of him. She talked to him
mainly in Azerbaijani. Mom was close to the boy, she arranged for him to get enough play often and
ensured he did not get hurt…”

Her submission had continued on and on from the first day of observation till the very last. This was the
summary of everything she had reported;

“In summary, I sometimes see that mum is able to interact well with the boy but this varies with her
mood, and there are also long periods where the contact is more distant and mum does not talk to him,
and seems to use him to cuddle or overcome her sorrows. She is excited for the boy, she is warm, she
can sometimes lead good supervision, she is close to him and can at times anticipate dangers ahead.
There is also a connection between the mother and the boy and he appears safe when he is with her,
although he does notice a marked difference in the level of interaction allowed between him, his father
and mother. A lot of things are confusing for the boy. In addition, there are three conditions that are
very problematic:

She fails to protect him from life-threatening situations, and she probably does not understand that it is
fatal for a small child to have marbles, stones, and the likes in her mouth. She shows serious lack of
judgment in these situations, as she partly lets him take such things in the mouth, and partly believes
that the boy himself should consider what to put in his mouth, and thus what is dangerous for him. It is
of a greater cause for concern when this has been pointed out several times and she has not been able
to make any changes. Danger to the child’s life and health is something that very few parents do not
respond to, and it is very disturbing when they do not.

She is distinctly immature, self-centered, stubborn and egocentric. She has mostly been fine to deal with
during my visits to her at home, but when things go against her, she gets angry, dark-eyed, furious and
agitated, even in the presence of the boy, thereby not being a good example to him and affecting their
interaction. At these times, she becomes less available and more introverted, able to lie down and look
away from the boy. Her behavior towards the parents-in-law and father when she encounters resistance
from them is more typical of an autonomous individual in her early teens than an adult woman, and in
other situations she acts more like a child than an adult. A child at the beginning of primary school or
even before, understands that it is dangerous for babies to put things in their mouths and that one
cannot let babies decide what they want to do. She does not understand that she has to act with basic
courtesy when she is in the house of her parents-in-law or that it is not she who decides in their house.
It is also difficult to guide her, and she can bring up matters that are not relevant in the context, failing
to distinguish what is important and unimportant, failing to be pragmatic, and trivializing important
matters that are raised.

It does not seem to me that it is possible the difficulties experienced during childbirth and separation
from husband are the explanation for this, but a combination of personality traits and culture, where
personality is the main emphasis. There are different cultures regarding child rearing in different parts of
the world and in different countries, there are many cultures that practice a different and even reverse
upbringing. An “Eastern” upbringing strategy is especially common in the Middle East and Central Asia
and mother has such a mindset, while it seems to me that the main reason is personality. She regulates
the boy’s behavior from time to time, probably because u.t. has said that she should do it, but she does
not agree at the onset. She will not follow rules (according to her own statement) and when she has not
come up with the idea herself, she will not accept it. I also make reference to a situation where there
was a decision to be made on times for being in the parents’ house, she stated that she did not want
rules, it would be okay if she arrived an hour or two too late, and she would not take the bus 10.15 for it
was too soon, it was uncomfortable for her because she wanted to sleep longer. She was also reluctant
to have a end point for when the get-together was over, and wanted to control this herself, even though
it was in her parents-in-law’s house and she didn’t want any communication with them.

What is described above means that, per d.d. considers that supervision must be monitored and that
mother has little ability for learning / guidance. As the mother does not have the basic skills to protect
the boy from danger, supervision should be protective. I also think it is unfortunate that meetings are in
the parents’ home, partly because of the conflict between mother and mother-in-law and mother will
not follow rules, also because they state that it is burdensome for them. Dad should also consider the
extent to which he is able to oversee things over time.”

Maybe she was right about how I behaved or not, I would not know. I was a wounded woman trying to
defend myself in a place where I had no Ally, it should not be considered so out of place if I had to
become tough and defensive to give myself a bearing.

However, these almost inconclusive and rash report given by the Child care expert Anita were the
reason for my word. They were the very basis for the lower Court’s ruling against me.

My lawyer did not hesitate to bring up his argument against the findings of the so-called former
Psychologist.

“Apparently, another report on the mother of the child has yielded entirely different findings from what
the Psychologist Anita had claimed she discovered relating to her. Surely also, every mother learns with
her first child, my client should be given more benefit of the doubt. I appeal that the court reviews this
case.”

At his plea i was given another Psychologist, someone who obviously knew what she was doing.

The day of the Court hearing, I took a leave of absence from work to be a present. My employer already
knew my condition and what I was fighting for, he already knew I would need to be absent some of the
days and he understood. Everyone here was very supportive, I was pleased. They all were doing what
they could to ensure that I get the Justice I deserved. I got to the Court just on time before the Judges
were expected to be on seat. I was treading with caution, I did not need to do anything at this point to
give off any sign that I was not serious with the case and Court precedings.
My lawyer was there, so was the Persecuting Lawyer too in their official wear that I thought really
looked smart. The new psychologist assigned to me, and even my husband was there too. We did not
say a word to each other, I only greeted my Lawyer and Psychologist and went through some things with
them before I took my seat. Not too long after I had settled in, the judges came in through the door at
the corner to their seat. They were dressed in full regalia and looked really strict, I prayed they would be
strict in ruling my desired Justice too. The robe most judges wore I had thought sometimes made it
difficult to tell their size, except that it could be told from their face..

As soon as they had gotten sitted, the reading commenced. Then the Clerk began to read out the case as
presented;

“The case is a case of the maternal responsiblities of Aliya Sundhordvik to her son, William Sundhordvik,
born 02.12.15, almost two years old. And also what contact there should be between the mother and
the son judging from the reports that will be tabled here today.

The District Court at Haugaland ruled on 30.06.2017 with the following conclusion:

1. Oskar Sundhordvik shall have sole parental responsibility for William Sundhordvik, born
02.12.15.

2. William Sundhordvik, born 02.12.15, shall have contact with his mother Aliya Sundhordvik eight
times a year, with 2 two hours time span for each visit, under the protected supervision of the
child welfare service for one year.

No costs were not awarded.”

The clerk took a brief break as if he had just realized he had not taken any since he started reading
about 3 minutes ago. He was quite coherent and audible, he could be heard from every end of the room
although Court rooms typically echo most of the times, maybe because of the deadening silence that
was always enforced on the audience. The Clerk had continued almost immediately;

“Aliya Sundhordvik, mother/ appellant, hereinafter appealed the verdict through her legal counsel Arvid
Schodin. Oskar Sundhordvik, father / respondent, however objects to this. For the respondent, his
brother, Fredrik Sundhordvik, is acting as legal counsel.
An appeal hearing was held in the Court of Appeal’s premises in Haugasund on 13 and 14 February 2018.
In addition to hearing from both parties, the Court of Appeal heard five witnesses; including two
experts. As regards the actual background of the case, nothing emerged during the appeal hearing that
indicates that the presentation given in the district court’s judgment on pages two to four is not correct
and adequate. Since the time of the district court’s judgment, their has been as the Court of Appeal
understands it, increased meetings between the mother and child; where the father had brought the
child to the mother, and had stayed sometimes during the meetings. This had decreased however after
the mother moved to Stavanger.”

I did not want to believe that they were going to use my moving to Stavanger to build a defense for
themselves against my case. I had good reasons for moving and if the need be,I was willing to fight and
prove that in Court. A lot was already running through my mind while the Clerk had continued his
seemingly lengthy report.

“After the move, the contact between mother and child had largely been maintained through Constant
Skype transmissions, usually involving a short conversation between mother and child, and then filming
and transmission of the child’s activities for a period of time. In regards, to any physical contact under
the auspices of the child welfare service, with protected supervision in accordance with the judgment,
the first should have been carried out on 15th of January 2018, at the father’s residence, that is, the
father’s parents’ home. Mother did not attend this meeting.”

I remembered that day, it was true I was not present for the meeting and I had reasons too, if only
anyone had cared to ask.

“The judges in the Court of Appeal following an application by the appellant’s Legal Counsel, decided on
10 January 2018 to appoint child welfare educator and Psychologist, Astrid Lindtner Fosse as the new
expert in the case, with the following mandate:

*Conversation with mother and make observation of contact between mother and child on up to 3
occasions.

 Close Observation and valid statements as to whether it is justifiable for the mother to have
unprotected normal contact. Also to give a description of how the mother handles the child
during interactions.
The expert was also asked to confer with the parties and the local child welfare service on where the
meetings will take place. Lindtner Fosse had given an expert opinion on 29 January. Furthermore, she
supervised the presentation of evidence during the appeal hearing, and gave an oral explanation.

In summary, Here is the argument presented by the Appellant;

Aliya Sundhordvik had experienced stress related to the birth of her son William, and had a
psychological reaction to this which put her back in relation to normal contact with the child during its
first months of life. According to psychiatric professionals who have had contact with her over time,
psychologist Lundquist and psychiatric nurse Rosenberg Waage, there is nothing mentally wrong with
the mother. Her ways of reacting were perceived by them as natural, based on the stress she had
undergone. After the separation in February 2016, the mother had only had brief contact with the child.
All contact had been carried out under the supervision and reprimand of other parties, and most have
been carried out at her in-laws’ home, which had somewhat developed into a hostile environment for
her. Under such conditions, it had been difficult for the mother to act normally and to learn to pick up
impulses from the child. Despite this, the experts have provided several descriptions of a mother who is
interested in, and who has a good relationship with her child, who would also go through anything to
secure her child from danger.

And also with regards to the problem of the child putting things in his mouth, it is pointed out that the
mother had partly not discovered the impending dangers on time, and had been partly stressed under
the strict observation she had been subjected to. It must also be taken into account that there may be
different perceptions of what must be considered dangerous and what is not. Therefore the conditions
psychologist Anita had focused on in her assessment can be said to be one-sided”

I could imagine that many of the faces in the courtroom may have disagreed with this notion. To them, it
would seem like a flimsy excuse to justify my carelessness. But in sincerity, the child had not gotten hurt,
and I sure would have been able to observe and prevent the impending danger eventually before any
harm could have been done. I was just heavily distracted and stressed. The reading continued;

“The mother therefore appeals thus; A right to a part in Child’s guidance and learning. The effect of
guidance must be evaluated, and It is important that contact and guidance will not be carried out at the
home of the in-laws, where the father and child live. Mother’s friend, Katerina Nordnes, who lives close
to the child, and who herself has children of the same age, has volunteered to allow the visitation take
place in her home and to aid supervision herself, one weekend a month. The mother will be able to
make use of guidance, and thereby be able to have contact of a normal extent after a while. She will
then also not lose her right to stay in the city. There is no evidence in the case that the mother presents
any danger of abduction of the child. It is important that the child is not cut off from his mother, it will
be harmful to the child’s development of identity.
The mother should also have a share in the parental responsibility, as the clear main rule dictates. It can
not be ignored that mother did not understand what she signed when she was made to sign that father
should have parental responsibility alone in February 2016. During that period, mother was strongly
affected by stress after the birth, Lack of understanding due to cultural differences must also be taken
into account. The respondent’s reasons for why the mother should not have a share in parental
responsibilities are diffuse. It is he who has the day-to-day care of the child, and consequently regardless
of who makes the essentials of decisions concerning the child, It is necessary to ensure that there are no
conflicts between the parties that hinder joint parental responsibility.

The appellant has filed the following claims:

*Aliya Sundhordvik and Oskar Sundhordvik do not have joint parental responsibility for William
Sundhordvik

*Aliya Sundhordvik has a visitation determined by the court, at the court’s discretion.

 Oskar Sundhordvik is ordered to reimburse the costs of the case before the Court of Appeal.”

Court sessions at Appeal courts were usually always long and monotonous. A person once said you could
put a child to sleep just by having him listen to the long court sessions. At long last, it was time to have
the reading of the respondent read; that was her husband, Oskar Sundhordvik and his family. As
expected, they had a lot written down to prove their case.

“In summary, the respondent has stated:

It follows directly from the Children’s Act § 30 and § 48, that one is obliged to protect a child from
danger. There is no doubt that the mother lacks healthy instincts for what is safe for the child and not.
Reference is made to the descriptions from Kvilhaug and Lindtner Fosse. The Mother, Aliya Sundhordvik
has had thoughts about putting William out in the snow as a newborn, but refrained from this because it
was explained to her that then the child welfare service could take the child. Mother does not see, and
does not understand, the dangers that she should see and understand. The concern expressed by the
health personnel after she had given birth had been proven justified”
It was outrageous that they spoke of the stupid claims the hospital she had had her childbirth in had put
forth; claims they had made only because she had spoken against their disgusting methods. Her
husband was there when everything happened. How could he even be thinking that she did not reserve
a right to fight back at the hospital authorities? The same claims they were making mention of had
already been discharged by the first Psychologist she was referred to after the incident. The reading was
still ongoing;

Mother is 31 years old and thus an adult. Still, she does not see the inherent dangers that William was
exposed to. Mother is not a tutor, It is pointed out that psychologist Kvilhaug stated that she had “used
up the toolbox”. The mother does not set boundaries for the child unless there is a resistance that tells
her so. She is not able to put the child’s needs ahead of their own. Consequently, any contact in the
foreseeable future must be under protective supervision.

The father is also justifiably afraid that the mother may be able to abduct William if the visitation is not
carried out with protective supervision. It is pointed out that the mother had acknowledged that there is
nothing holding her back in the kingdom beyond her son, William. She had stated that she was never
really in love with Oskar. And when asked if she had any thoughts of taking the child out of the country,
she replied that it was something she would not be able to do. There is a visitation plan that should be
followed, possibly compressed in time. Whether there was a basis for involving the mother’s friend
Nordnes, the visits still had to follow from an assessment under close monitoring of the child welfare
service”.

Principally, it is not desirable for the mother to leave the kingdom. But when the Immigration Act sets
requirements for visitation of a certain extent for the mother to be allowed to stay in the kingdom, the
child’s best interests are already taken into account. The court must not manipulate the provisions of
the Immigration Act by attempting to revisit what it takes for the mother to stay in the kingdom. This
case does not concern the mother’s access to the kingdom, but what is in the best interests of the child.
It is also not undividedly negative whether mother must leave the kingdom. Lindtner Fosse believed that
the contact between William and his mother now won’t cause any harm to the boy.”

Everyone could tell that this legal battle was draining Oskar. Not just mentally, but financially yet he
would not see that he was just letting his anger and hate drive him. He had refused to see the other
sides to the appeal to let me take part responsibility for the child. He had neglected that it would
decrease the financial burden on him to a great extent. At the rate he was going currently, he was
already at half of his previous economic status. He instead rather chose to hang on to the bizarre
thoughts in his head alongside his parents especially his Mum. Just thinking of his Mum and all she was,
made me more determined to win this case. My child can’t be at her mercy forever. The reading
continued;
“The respondent has filed the following claim:

*Oskar Sundhordvik shall have sole parental responsibility for William Sundhordvik.

*Meetings between William Sundhordvik and aliya Sundhordvik shall continue to take place with
protected supervision by a publicly appointed supervisor, to the extent determined at the court’s
discretion.

*Mrs. Aliya Sundhordvik is ordered to pay the costs.

The Ruling:

The Court of Appeal sees the case mainly as the district court did, but has found grounds for
determining a meeting with a longer time perspective.

Both the decision related to parental responsibility and the determination of visitation shall first and
foremost be in accordance with what must be assumed to be in the best interests of the child, cf. The
Children’s Act § 48 first paragraph. What is in his best interest must be judged concretely and
holistically, in a present and future perspective. A key factor in the assessment is who William is, and
what his needs are. Based on the evidence, the Court of Appeal can only assume that William
Sundhordvik is a generally developed and adapted boy for his age, basically without special risk factors
or needs. The only special factor related to the child is his multicultural background, and the need for
knowledge or impulses one must generally assume that a child has or should have, from his Azerbaijani
origin, cf. The Convention on the Rights of the Child Article 8.

For the district court, psychologist Anita Kvilhaug was appointed as an expert. She followed the case
over time and watched a total of six visits between mother and child. She explained her assessments in
two notes to the district court, which are to a large extent quoted in the district court’s judgment, and
to which the Court of Appeal refers. She maintained her assessments in her explanation to the Court of
Appeal. For the appeal hearing, child welfare educator Astrid Lindtner Fosse was appointed as an expert,
with a mandate, based on observations of mother and child, to give a statement on whether it is
justifiable for the mother to have unprotected regular contact and to give a description of how the
mother handles the child. Lindtner Fosse presented her work in a statement dated the 29th of January
2018, after attending two meetings between mother and child in the kindergarten where the child goes,
and also in addition, she watched the appeal hearing and gave an explanation after hearing the
evidence. In her written assessment, Lindtner Fosse emphasized that the mother has a certain
theoretical knowledge of children and children’s needs. And further among other things, she clearly
stated;

“I had not seen at any time during my observations that the mother, Aliya does not desire to protect her
child from immediate danger when she is with him. On the contrary, I have seen that she lets him play,
and that she secures him when he is in potentially dangerous situations, like when he is trying to climb a
rib wall. During observation inside the kindergarten, I see that she mostly follows the boy’s rhythm in
play, she chats with him in simple Norwegian, puts names of colors on toys, lets him climb a rib wall, but
is careful to take him down when it seems to be getting dangerous. I have also on served their outdoor
play moments, he is mostly carried around a lot from one activity to another. The Mother Aliya wants
her Child happy, she would not restrict her child from playing with the play equipments he enjoys,
especially as long as it will not cause him any inherent damage. Although I would say too, both through
expression and through observation, the mother experiences difficulty in setting necessary boundaries
for the child. Her appearance during observations is somewhat characterized by the fact that she rarely
sees the boy and therefore wishes to make the most of her time with him. However, mother knows that
she is under observation and thus should show her best qualities. I am also not sure whether she is
sufficiently able to see the child’s needs rather than her own needs I say this because In ‘farewell
situations’ in the kindergarten, she seems not concerned as to whether the child is okay bidding her
farewell, she just kisses him goodbye and walks away without even looking back. Her thoughts on how a
two-year-old child will endure to travel every other week from one home to another is quite disturbing.
The mother, Aliyahad said however, that she can move to Nordfylket if it would be better after I had
made her see the problem with her initial suggestion. I consider that she takes guidance if she perceives
the purpose for it. However, she really seems a bit distant. Summarily, I put forth from observatios that
Aliya can protect the boy from immediate danger. However, I am not sure if her maternal relations to
the child is good enough. Based on the information I possess, I consider it necessary that meetings
between mother and child should be had under close supervision and guidance. Due to the level of
conflict between the mother and her former inlaws, it would be unfortunate for these tasks to be
assigned to the in-laws.”

In Lindtner Fosse’s oral explanation before the Court of Appeal, she expressed concern that Aliya
Sundhordvik needed proper guidance if she would do better and move forward.

I had thought that maybe I could say something in defense for myself against all Linda Fosse had said,
They were mere speculations. She had not at any time witnessed situations she perceived as dangerous
for the child. She described me more like an insecure babysitter for the child than as a mother. She
believed that counseling should be tried before I am written off as not having visitation competence,
though. Either ways, they all saw me alike; as someone who needed some kind of help or who had the
tendency to cause the child harm. This shows a great deal the extent to which Norwegian culture and
people are very impatient and intolerant. I had been their victim in such a little time I spent there.
The ruling continued..;

“Like the district court, the court of appeal first looks at the question of visitation. The starting point is
clear; it is presumed to be in the child’s best interests to have contact with both parents, and it is
consequently also the law’s main rule, cf. The Children’s Act § 42. The scope and conditions for contact
must be determined on the basis of what will be in the child’s best interests. In this case, the parties also
agree that there should be a meeting, but disagree on the scope and on what conditions. The district
court has reported on the Children’s Act § 48 second paragraph, the general understanding of this
provision, and the central assessment theme in this part of the case whether there is a real risk that the
mother during the visitation will handle William in a way that could pose a risk to his life, or that he will
be seriously injured.

The Court of Appeal agrees with the district court in that there is a number of pieces of information in
the case that give rise to serious concerns about the mother’s ability to care and in this case – visitation
competence. Reference is made to the district court’s discussion on this, with reference to psychologist
Kvilhaug’s assessments, which the Court of Appeal agrees with. Although the court appointed an expert
for the Court of Appeal, child welfare educator Lindtner Fosse, who herself had not observed the
handling of the child that could endanger the child, her observations in the Court of Appeal’s view
substantiate the basis for the district court’s concern. Reference is made in particular to Lindtner Fosse’s
observations that the mother is weak at taking proper control and setting boundaries for the child.
When the mother does not set boundaries for the child, but on the contrary can make herself fulfill the
child’s wishes even if it involves danger, it clearly gives cause for concern for the child’s safety. The Court
of Appeal however agrees that there is no doubt that the mother has no intention of knowingly
endangering the child or harming the child. A number of descriptions from observations have shown
that the mother wants to provide the child with good care, and that she can also be able to establish
good contact with him.

It is difficult to say for sure what is the cause of the problem of the mother’s inability to to set
boundaries, including to identify and act adequately on conditions that may be dangerous to the child.
The experts have pointed to the personality traits of the mother as immature, stubborn, and egocentric.
Features that seem to be confirmed through the explanations of the father and the father’s family, and
which the Court of Appeal has no reason to doubt.”

All these conclusions are what’s wrong with the world. I could not help the tears that rolled down my
cheeks when It came to this part of the ruling. This is a society where women were supposed to to
always be silent and everyone was subjected to the obtainable norms even if they were wrong. No one
really cared to understand my side to this, the fact that i had grown in an environment that believed in
different methods and Norms. They were not open to welcome anything that went against what they
believed and go so far to fight it head-on like some wounded lions. Would it really have hurt if they had
observed my methods instead and trust that i would not be so stupid to harm my own boy? Was it just
unfathomable to think that maybe there are other ways to do things and do it right? I had just been
termed stubborn and ego-centric because I did things the way I had learnt which was obviously better
than their bizarre methods; the traditions and norms they hold so dear. Maybe also, if this were to be
done by a man, this would not be everyone’s unanimous conclusion?

“As the case stands today, the Court of Appeal agrees that it would not be justifiable to conduct a visit
without protective supervision. However, the Court of Appeal considers it probable that over time the
mother can be brought up to a level of visitation competence which enables her to carry out normal
contact with the child in a responsible manner. In the view of the Court of Appeal, it is right and in the
best interests of the child to plan for a development in the contact that provides a basis for the mother
to reach a satisfactory level of contact competence. The situation here today seems locked in, and
unsuitable for facilitating development. The Court of Appeal understands that the mother was in a
vulnerable and pressured situation in the time around the birth and until the parties were separated in
mid-February 2016. The Child Welfare Service was involved in the case, and there is no doubt that the
father and father’s family, with every reasonable doubt, took control of the situation and the child at
that time, a control that they still should have and exercise. From the time of separation, the mother has
lived alone in a relatively foreign country, mainly without work, without her own family and with a
limited network, and on maintenance from her father. Since then, she has not been alone with the child,
but only seen William in connection with shorter visits; either as a result of observations, in that the
father had rought the child to the mother, in time in connection with breastfeeding, or in that she has
been with the child under the supervision of the parents-in-law.

Even if it must be assumed that the father had objective and comprehensible reasons for breaking up
the cohabitation with the mother, and even if the father has made arrangements for the mother to have
contact with the child, it is difficult to ignore that the conditions for the mother to achieve the bonding
required with the child, and to learn to treat the child right, both in terms of safety, and in a good
emotional and development-friendly way, have not been good. The mother has not had any children
before William, she comes from another culture, and she has not had her own family or network to get
directions on how to play the role of mother. It seems reasonably clear that the relationship between
the mother and the in-laws gradually became so difficult that instead of them being a source of guidance
and competence-building to aid her, they rather fostered the negative factor in the mother’s
competence-building.

Although psychologist Kvilhaug stated that she had ‘used up the toolbox’ to guide the mother, the Court
of Appeal considers that there is good reason, especially in the long term for the child’s best interests, to
seek to establish a scheme aimed at bringing the mother’s contact skills up to a level that indicates that
she may eventually have contact to a more normal extent and without supervision. After all, Child
welfare educator Lindtner Fosse has noted that the mother is able to take guidance when she perceives
the purpose for the guidance and mother has voluntarily submitted in court that she is willing to accept
guidance. The parties afterwards were strongly encouraged by the Court of Appeal to seek to find an
agreed solution that may involve private supervision to secure the child against the risk of injury. There
was such a proposal on the part of the mother; she had suggested the assistance of a friend that lived
close to her new base but it could not be accepted on the part of the father, and he would not
categorically present any adequate justification for this or an alternative proposal.

The system of protective supervision will however be continued further for some time in order to secure
the child against improper treatment or the risk of injury. By the ruling of the Court of Appeal, monthly
meetings with protected supervision should be carried out for five months, with a duration of three
hours each time. It is a prerequisite for the mother’s right of access that she immediately takes the
initiative with the child welfare service to establish guidance, in the first instance with a special focus on
securing the child against dangers. Whether such guidance is carried out in connection with, or outside
the meetings, or both ways, the mother and the child welfare service must deliberate on it jointly. The
child welfare service must determine the more detailed framework for the visitation in terms of time
and place, but as mentioned in the district court’s judgment, the visitation should not be carried out
where the father now lives, at his parents’ home. In the opinion of this Court of Appeal, it is probable
that after five months of visitation and supervision, it will be safe to continue to visit together at the
same frequency without protected supervision. On the other hand, in the Court of Appeal’s view, there
will be a need for supportive supervision with continued guidance, to contribute to a good contact
between mother and child, including putting the mother in a better position to see the child’s needs and
at the same time setting necessary boundaries for the child. Mother has a lot to learn, and it must be
expected that the process will take time. The Court of Appeal therefore stipulates that visitation shall
continue at the same frequency and length for a further seven months, this time with supportive
supervision, which will then be within the quota of 36 hours as the court may impose. The Court of
Appeal has been in contact with the child welfare service in Karmøy municipality by Annette Strømmen,
who has confirmed that such protected supervision can be carried out in practice. She has also
confirmed that the child welfare service can arrange and organize further supportive supervision, even if
the financing must take place via another agency.”

The measures may had seems still very strict, but as a mother, I was happy and satisfied with the fact
that they did not consider restricting me from seeing my child any further. I could not possibly ask for
more, even with the supervision, I would get to spend time with my boy and watch him grow, i would be
part of his life. I was willing to do my best to make things work out and follow all instructions for the
sake of my boy. I had imagined if this was what Oskar had hoped the Court will rule or if he was
displeased.

The ruling continued;

“Also it has been made known that Part of the father’s reason for insisting on protective supervision in
the public sector has been that he fears that the mother will take the child out of the country. He claims
it is not just some ordinary fear, he pointed out that the mother, Aliya has twice said that she wished
she and William could go abroad. The Court of Appeal can understand the father’s fears on the basis
that such situations occur from time to time, thereby putting those involved in very difficult situations.
At the same time, the Court of Appeal has not seen that the fear that something like this will happen in
this case is based on any objective evidence of some relevance. Furthermore, it must be taken into
account that the mother’s instincts to take the child out of the country could only be triggered by
whether or not she is given permission to remain in the country and to have a more normal contact with
the child. As of today, her residence status is unclear, but presumably a visitation arrangement that aims
to establish a more regular visitation between mother and child, as the Court of Appeal’s decision has
declared, also aims to increase the possibility that she will receive permanent residence in the kingdom.
After the 12 months, after both protective and supportive supervision under the auspices of the public
sector has ceased, the parties are expected to jointly agree on further contact terms. In a situation
where both parties fail to agree on a unanimous solution, authorities would step in again.

After the12 months, it is also stipulated that contact is increased to four hours every other Saturday.
After 15 months, the meetings must be increased to a duration of six hours. After 18 months, the time of
visit must be increased to every other weekend with one overnight stay. After 24 months, visit must be
increased to the law’s definition of “ordinary visitation right”, as defined in the Children’s Act § 43
second paragraph, with the exception of afternoon visitation, as long as the mother does not live in the
immediate vicinity of the father.

The bearing of this ruling is that both parents have a share in parental responsibility. It is only in those
cases where special reasons indicate that it will be in the child’s best interests that one of the parents
has sole parental responsibility, there must be a reason to make an exception to the main rule. The
mother’s waiver of parental responsibility on 19 February 2016 bears little relevance to the Court of
Appeal. She was at the time in a very stressful situation, she had shortly before been informed that the
father wanted to end the marriage, and in reality she was at that time deprived of the child, not
neglecting that she had signed what she signed out of ignorance. With a few exceptions, the Court of
Appeal has reached the same result as the district court, and share some common grounds. In addition,
it is noted that the discussion about contact, and development in this, is based on the clear premise that
the mother actually wants guidance as she has expressed, and further that she is actually able to
implement, and to make use of guide. Psychologist Kvilhaug doubted this, and also child welfare
educator Lindtner Fosse asked questions about whether the mother is counselable, even though she
thought it should be tried. Against this background, the further development is not without
uncertainties. The same applies to the cooperation between mother and father. Father and father’s
family have comprehensibly from the experience they have explained themselves, expressed a strong
distrust of Mother of the child. As mentioned earlier, the father also fears that the child may be taken
abroad. But the court expresses this fear as unnecessary given that the father has full parental control of
the child until the duration of the mother’s supervision and guidance given that she behaves in
accordance with all that has been decided. The father is also in control of the child’s passport and Health
reports. This the court believes should help to create the conditions for a collaboration that is based
more on trust in the future. The Court of Appeal will nevertheless add that if the mother is able to make
use of the guidance she has expressed that she wishes to receive, and if she loyally follows up on the
visitation arrangement that is now established, then subsequently her maternal responsibility will be
restored. The appeal therefore can be said to be partly successful. Based on the nature of the case, and
significance for the parties, the Court of Appeal cannot, however, see that there are compelling reasons
that indicate that the father should be ordered to pay the mother’s legal costs, cf. The Disputes Act § 20-
3. There is also no basis for changing the district court’s decision on costs, and reference is made to the
premises for this.

The verdict is unanimous.

DOMS CONCLUSION

1. William Sundhordvik by 2 December 2015, shall have such contact with his mother Aliya
Sundhordvik:

a. For 5 -five- months, once per month over a duration of 3 -three- hours with protected
supervision of the public.

b. Thereafter for 7 -seven- months, once a month for a duration of 3 -three- hours with
supportive supervision of the public sector,

c. Thereafter for 3 -three- months, 2 -to- Saturdays a month for a duration of 4 -four-
hours,

d. Thereafter for 3 -three- months, 2 -to- Saturdays a month over a duration of 6 -six-
hours,

e. Thereafter for 6 -six- months 2 -two- days every other weekend, including one overnight
stay,

f. Thereafter «regular contact» in accordance with the Children’s Act § 43 second

paragraph, with the exception of afternoon contact.
 2. In other respects, the appeal against Haugaland District Court’s judgment of 30 June 2017 in
case 16-126663 is rejected.

3. Costs for the Court of Appeal are not awarded.

Ole-Arne Linga Jarle Golten Smørdal Birger A. Stedal

The document is in accordance with the signed original.

Hjørdis Skogen

Good news I’m allowed to have contact with my son and increase visitations!

Just complains about my low experience and potential dangers spoiled my positions. I’ve to have
supervision from few months up to a year. And then next year if Oscar is not agree to give back my
parental rights I will get it after 2 years. This strange decision made me worried, but I tried my best to be
optimistic. It’s only way to solve the problem now. I played this game I proved that I am good mother to
supervisor and childcare system. My son felt a holiday when I came to visit him. I was always positive
and full of surprises. I survived till the time to be alone with my son. But Oscar could not let it happen.

Oscar is a gangster, he calls himself a wolf. He could make the system in Haugesund work for him.
Corrupted psychologist wrote the case for his family best interests. They process stole 8 months of my
life and placed me in a messarable situation. I was left without a child, place to live, equal rights on my
child and equal rights after divorce.

My marriage to Oscar had taught me some of life’s biggest lessons especially concerning signature, don’t
show the real signature under any circumstances. Use a fake signature when you are under pressure. It’s
horrible what people are gone through because the system doesn’t apply expertise to check signature
and detectors to check how bad is a lie.

Mostly, because in such a small districts like haugesund court, proffecionals use their ways to rich the
goals with a power of law.
Before it had been enough getting married to Oskar simply because he made me happy and we were
fond of each other. To me, the cultural difference did not matter. Maybe it does not, even at this
moment, but were we willing to make it truly not matter? I understood now why people always advised;

“Marriage is not something you rush into, take your time”

Most often than not, marriage goes beyond the instant love you feel for a person in the first few months
of the relationship and this is because marriage is meant to be a “forever” thing. In the first few months,
it is often not the case that you get to see all the sides there are to your “love interest”, it took even the
mother years to truly study and understand the child she bore and another length of years after he had
grown into adulthood to know the changes that had occurred while growing up. That is why marriage is
eventually more of a decision just as love is. Commitment, fairness and the unbalanced nature of life.
You choose to love a person most times with no reasons behind it, in marriage, you get to really study
the individual; get to know what he or she is like amongst influences, know just how patient or tolerant
he or she can get, know what triggers the negative cords in the person and then after knowing all of this,
still decide to take whatever comes in the course of the Union and devise a means to make the excesses
bearable or not manifest.

And even though it may be said that cultural differences and religious differences do not matter in a
Union, do you know for sure if your partner agrees to that and is willing to make the necessary
compromise? What if perhaps he esteems his beliefs very highly and would not even let you be the
reason to compromise? What if he would rather have the compromise come from you rather than from
himself? And of course, perhaps you would not be so willing to give in? Then you also note that when
marrying a man or even a lady most times, except they are independently-thinking individuals, you have
to consider what the opinion of their family is on certain matters. Family is a basic unit of an individual’s
social being, it’s hard most times to break away from certain family values and cultures especially with
domineering parents around.

When Oskar and I were in a relationship, I did not think of any of this. I thought marriage was going to
be business as usual; the candle lit dinners, visit to the Cinemas with the bountiful excitement in the air,
sweet texts and long call hours. I did not think we would be so far apart someday debating who gets the
custody of our son just barely a year after marriage, I did not think we would have so easily moved on
and gone our separate ways.

Finally I was on the road to getting rights as a mother to my son William. I was uncertain how life was
going to be, as a single mother in Stavanger. Or perhaps, what if my son still grows to be distant from
me? I only get to visit after all, there is only so much as to what I can witness in his life. Those moments
where he would need someone to talk to or bare his heart too, would he travel all the way to seek me
when his father was only just but a few kilometers away? Those times he would fall sick at nights and
need a cold water compress or someone running around to ensure he is well, that could not be me
either. But then, at least I had gotten the opportunity to prove myself a good mother, even though I still
needed guidance and help to do it their own way.

I had my reality check done now; I was a single mother, I had to figure out how to perfectly balance my
time with my personal life, business and responsibilities to my son who was in a different city. I needed
to be the best I could be to him, it is what a mother would do.

My son is a sunshine in a cloudy day for me! I want him to stay in my life! And I will give everything best I
could possibly give for us.

To be continued…