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7WaysToSpotEmotionalManipulation
PostedonNovember22,2010byafteramerica

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Thereisnouseintryingtobehonestwithanemotionalmanipulator. You makeastatementanditwillbeturnedaround.Example:Iamreallyangrythatyou forgotmybirthday.ResponseItmakesmefeelsadthatyouwouldthinkIwould forgetyourbirthday,IshouldhavetoldyouofthegreatpersonalstressIam facingatthemomentbutyouseeIdidntwanttotroubleyou. YouarerightIshouldhaveputallthispain(dontbesurprisedtoseerealtearsat thispoint)asideandfocusedonyourbirthday.Sorry. Evenasyouarehearing thewordsyougetthecreepedoutsensationthattheyreallydoNOTmeanthey aresorryatall butsincetheyvesaidthewordsyoureprettymuchleftwith nothingmoretosay.Eitherthatoryousuddenlyfindyourself babysittingtheirangst!!Underallcircumstancesifyoufeelthisangleisbeing played dontcapitulate!Donotcaretake donotacceptanapologythatfeels likebullshit.Ifitfeelslikebullshit itprobablyis.Rulenumberone ifdealing withanemotionalblackmailerTRUSTyourgut.TRUSTyoursenses.Oncean emotionalmanipulatorfindsasuccessfulmaneuveritsaddedtotheirhitlistand youllbefedasteadydietofthisshit.
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Anemotionalmanipulatoristhepictureofawillinghelper.If youaskthemtodosomethingtheywillalmostalwaysagreethatis IFtheydidntvolunteertodoitfirst.Thenwhenyousay,okthanks theymakeabunchofheavysighs,orothernonverbalsignsthat letyouknowtheydontreallywanttodowhateversaidthing happenstobe.Whenyoutellthemitdoesntseemliketheywantto dowhatevertheywillturnitaroundandtrytomakeitseemlike OFCOURSEtheywantedtoandhowunreasonableyouare.Thisis aformofcrazymakingwhichissomethingemotionalmanipulators areverygoodat.RulenumbertwoIfanemotionalmanipulator saidYESmakethemaccountableforit.DoNOTbuyintothe sighsandsubtletiesiftheydontwanttodoitmakethemtellyou itupfrontorjustputonthewalkmanheadphonesandrunabath andleavethemtotheirtheater.

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Crazymakingsayingonethingandlaterassuringyoutheydid notsayit.Ifyoufindyourselfinarelationshipwhereyoufigureyoushould startkeepingalogofwhatsbeensaidbecauseyouarebeginningto questionyourownsanityYouareexperiencingemotionalmanipulation. Anemotionalmanipulatorisanexpertinturningthingsaround, rationalizing,justifyingandexplainingthingsaway.Theycanlieso smoothlythatyoucansitlookingatblackandtheyllcallitwhiteand arguesopersuasivelythatyoubegintodoubtyourverysenses.Overa periodoftimethisissoinsidiousanderodingitcanliterallyalteryour senseofreality.WARNING:EmotionalManipulationisVERYDangerous!It isverydisconcertingforanemotionalmanipulatorifyoubegincarryinga padofpaperandapenandmakingnotationsduringconversations.Feel freetoletthemknowyoujustarefeelingsoforgetfulthesedaysthatyou wanttorecordtheirwordsforposterityssake.Thedamndestthingabout thisisthathavingtodosuchathingisaclearexampleforwhyyoushould beseriouslythinkingaboutremovingyourselffromrangeinthefirstplace. Ifyouretotinganotebooktosafeguardyourselfthatolbullshitmeter
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senseofreality.WARNING:EmotionalManipulationisVERYDangerous!It isverydisconcertingforanemotionalmanipulatorifyoubegincarryinga padofpaperandapenandmakingnotationsduringconversations.Feel freetoletthemknowyoujustarefeelingsoforgetfulthesedaysthatyou wanttorecordtheirwordsforposterityssake.Thedamndestthingabout thisisthathavingtodosuchathingisaclearexampleforwhyyoushould beseriouslythinkingaboutremovingyourselffromrangeinthefirstplace. Ifyouretotinganotebooktosafeguardyourselfthatolbullshitmeter shouldbeflashingsteadybynow! Guilt.Emotionalmanipulatorsareexcellentguiltmongers.They canmakeyoufeelguiltyforspeakingupornotspeakingup,forbeing emotionalornotbeingemotionalenough,forgivingandcaring,orfornot givingandcaringenough.Anythingisfairgameandopentoguiltwithan emotionalmanipulator.Emotionalmanipulatorsseldomexpresstheir needsordesiresopenlytheygetwhattheywantthroughemotional manipulation.Guiltisnottheonlyformofthisbutitisapotentone.Most ofusareprettyconditionedtodowhateverisnecessarytoreduceour feelingsofguilt.Anotherpowerfulemotionthatisusedissympathy.An emotionalmanipulatorisagreatvictim.Theyinspireaprofoundsenseof needingtosupport,careforandnurture.EmotionalManipulatorsseldom fighttheirownfightsordotheirowndirtywork.Thecrazythingisthat whenyoudoitforthem(whichtheywillneveraskdirectlyfor),theymay justturnaroundandsaytheycertainlydidntwantorexpectyoutodo anything!Trytomakeapointofnotfightingotherpeoplesbattles,or doingtheirdirtyworkforthem.AgreatlineisIhaveeveryconfidencein yourabilitytoworkthisoutonyourowncheckouttheresponseand notethebullshitmeteronceagain.
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Emotionalmanipulatorsfightdirty.Theydontdealwiththings directly.Theywilltalkaroundbehindyourbackandeventuallyputothers inthepositionoftellingyouwhattheywouldnotsaythemselves.Theyare passiveaggressive,meaningtheyfindsubtlewaysoflettingyouknow theyarenothappylittlecampers.Theylltellyouwhattheythinkyouwant tohearandthendoabunchofjerkoffshittoundermineit.Example:Of courseIwantyoutogobacktoschoolhoneyandyouknowIllsupport you.Thenexamnightyouaresittingatthetableandpokerbuddiesshow up,thekidsarecryingthet.v.blastingandthedogneedswalkingallthe whileSweetieissittingontheirasslookingatyoublankly.Dareyoucall themonsuchbehavioryouarelikelytohear,wellyoucantexpectlifeto juststopbecauseyouhaveanexamcanyouhoney?Cry,screamor chokeemonlythelastwillhaveanylongtermbenefitsanditllprobably windyourbuttinjail.
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Ifyouhaveaheadacheanemotionalmanipulatorwillhavea braintumor!Nomatterwhatyoursituationistheemotionalmanipulator hasprobablybeenthereoristherenowbutonlytentimesworse.Its hardafteraperiodoftimetofeelemotionallyconnectedtoanemotional manipulatorbecausetheyhaveawayofderailingconversationsand puttingthespotlightbackonthemselves.Ifyoucallthemonthisbehavior theywilllikelybecomedeeplywoundedorverypetulantandcallyou selfishorclaimthatitisyouwhoarealwaysinthespotlight.Thethingis thateventhoyouknowthisisnotthecaseyouareleftwiththeimpossible taskofprovingit.DontbotherTRUSTyourgutandwalkaway!
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Emotionalmanipulatorssomehowhavetheabilitytoimpactthe emotionalclimateofthosearoundthem.Whenanemotional manipulatorissadorangrytheveryroomthrumswithititbringsadeep instinctualresponsetofindsomewaytoequalizetheemotionalclimateand thequickestrouteisbymakingtheemotionalmanipulatorfeelbetter fixingwhateverisbrokenforthem.Stickwiththistypeofloserfortoolong andyouwillbesoenmeshedandcodependentyouwillforgetyoueven haveneedsletalonethatyouhavejustasmuchrighttohaveyour needsmet.

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Emotionalmanipulatorshavenosenseofaccountability. They takenoresponsibilityforthemselvesortheirbehavioritisalwaysabout whateveryoneelsehasdonetothem.Oneoftheeasiestwaystospot anemotionalmanipulatoristhattheyoftenattempttoestablishintimacy throughtheearlysharingofdeeplypersonalinformationthatisgenerally ofthehookyouinandmakeyousorryformevariety.Initiallyyoumay perceivethistypeofpersonasverysensitive,emotionallyopenand maybealittlevulnerable.BelievemewhenIsaythatanemotional manipulatorisaboutasvulnerableasarabidpitbull,andtherewillalways beaproblemoracrisistoovercome.
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RR,onNovember22,2010at12:41pmsaid:

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Excellentepost.TootruebutitremindedmeofalotofPoliticalpower playerslikeseeingBushSr.withhiswifeyBarbaraCrowleyBushonLarryKing playingthatgame.Amazingconfirmationofthisarticlein2minutesworthofBush drivel. Reply

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