Going back through this paper, I decided that the quotes directly from the sources were

adding evidence to the paper, but that evidence could be made stronger by writing them in my

own style and words. By rephrasing the evidence so that it matched with my analysis on the

quote, I was able to minimize the length of the paper and get key points across without breaking

away from the flow of my own words. I was able to take comments left on the original draft into

consideration when revising and truly shift toward more analysis than summarization, which has

been something that I often struggle with when writing pieces that include textual evidence. By

revising this piece of work, even though in length it is now shorter, I feel that I have improved on

my work and shown that I can draw connections between multiple sources, even if all ideas are

not the same. This revision was harder for me in being able to shift from quotes into paraphrased

versions of them in order to get my central ideas across in a smoother fashion.