WRKWNDR GUIDES

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A P R E PA R AT O R Y G U I D E T O Y O U R PAT R I A R C H A L B L E S S I N G

MELISSA BUCKLEY
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 MELISSA BUCKLEY

In addition to this guide, there is also an in-depth patriarchal blessing

study resource, My Personal Liahona, that can help you process and
understand the details within your blessing once you have received it.

A V A I L A B L E AT S H O P W O R K A N D W O N D E R . C O M
 introduction.
“A patriarchal blessing from an ordained patriarch can give us a star to follow, which is personal
revelation from God to each individual. If we follow this star, we are less likely to stumble and be misled.
Our patriarchal blessing will be an anchor to our souls, and if we are worthy neither death nor the
devil can deprive us of the blessings pronounced. They are blessings we can enjoy now and forever.”1

I felt ready to receive my patriarchal blessing when I realized my life was about to change as
graduation and leaving home approached. I wanted a broader, more eternal view of who I could be
and what I could do. At age seventeen, I was hoping for a step-by-step instruction manual from
God. I was trying to discover and decide who I wanted to be and make life-changing decisions,
and I was hoping Heavenly Father would tell me what to do. I felt lost, and I felt if He charted my
course, I wouldn’t fail. While I had hopes for specific directions, I was grateful for a more wise
Father who gave me far more.

My blessing wasn’t a checklist—it was a beautiful mural of possibilities and the Divine Artist’s view
of my unique personality and purpose on this earth. God saw me in ways I had not been able to see
myself. God saw who I could become in ways I couldn’t fathom. I felt that if He believed it, then I
could reach for it and believe it, too.

The possibilities, blessings, warnings, and promises were all beautifully painted and woven into the
words of my blessing. I felt the Spirit as the patriarch spoke love and comfort directly from Heavenly
Father to a girl still so unsure of her divine nature.

During my blessing, I felt overwhelming love from my Father. He saw me. He loved me. He wanted
to bless me and show me that I was more than my doubting mortal self could see. He helped me see
through His divine, far-reaching eyes that I was capable of far more than I could imagine.

As I have pondered my blessing over time, it has more often been a source of inspiration for the
steps I can take rather than step-by-step instructions to my life. It is far more than just words—it is
a feeling, a direction in which to move. It is a vision for my life crafted by the One who knows me
best, who knows both my earthly and eternal potential.

Let your blessing be your guiding star, to direct your life and find purpose. It will push you towards
the heavens and help you see that you belong among the stars! Your blessing will help you see
yourself the way God sees you and help you feel empowered to make decisions as your confidence
in God and yourself increases.

No matter when you receive your blessing, God has a vision for your life and knows the potential for
greatness in you. He simply wants you to open your eyes and heart to see.
common questions.
why should I get my patriarchal blessing?
“Our testimonies can be strengthened and fortified and our lives given greater purpose every time
we read and reread our patriarchal blessings.”2

A patriarchal blessing is a message directly from God. It is His love shown to you through the voice
of the patriarch. While there are many wonderful admonitions and blessings in the scriptures that
apply to all the followers of Christ, a patriarchal blessing is different because it is just for you. It
is a real way of seeing that God knows you, loves you, and—most powerfully—has a plan and a
purpose for you on this earth. Choosing to receive a patriarchal blessing is a way in which you can
exercise your faith both in Him and in yourself. When you take this act of faith, He can show you
what you are capable of and give you additional tools to reach your potential. Throughout your
life, your blessing can be a beacon to which you look to find clarity, direction, love, and purpose in
your life. It can be your northern star, your Liahona in the wilderness.

what is it?
Every patriarchal blessing will contain three things: counsel, at least one spiritual gift, and a
declaration of lineage. The counsel will comprise the majority of your blessing, including things
like blessings, warnings, direction, promises, predictions, and loving words from a Parent to His
child. In Doctrine and Covenants 6 and 9, you can see the variety of ways in which the Lord speaks
to Oliver Cowdery. There are times when the Lord encourages Oliver, when He inspires, and when
He lets Oliver know how much He knows his heart, and there are times when He chastens Oliver
to be better. The Lord knows you and loves you, including your imperfections. There may be times
when the Lord will chasten or warn you so that you may turn your weaknesses into strengths.
Acknowledging those flaws and finding ways to work through them can be a powerful experience.

In your blessing, your spiritual gifts may be clearly spelled out or more nuanced. Your spiritual
gifts can be powerful tools throughout this life. A list of spiritual gifts can be found in 1
Corinthians 12. Read through them and journal about any that interest you or you think you may
have. Reflect on what the chapter says about the purpose of spiritual gifts.

Finally, your blessing will also contain a declaration of your lineage. The patriarch will declare
through which of the twelve sons of Jacob (Israel) you inherit your blessings. You are promised
all of the blessings of Abraham, as he received them in the Abrahamic covenant as recorded in
Genesis 17. With this lineage and those blessings, you are also given a responsibility: to share
the gospel with the world. It is your lineage that helps to deepen your purpose, especially when
combined with the other portions of your blessing.

“[Your patriarchal blessing] declares your special lineage. It reminds you of your linkage with the
past. And it will help you realize your future potential.”3
common questions.
how do I know if I am ready?
While any baptized member of the Church is eligible to receive a patriarchal blessing, personal
and spiritual maturity should be considered. Your desire to receive a patriarchal blessing should
stem from your own heart, not the pressure or expectations of others. The blessing is a direct
message from your Heavenly Father. You want to be in a spiritually healthy mindset where you
can honor its sacred messages and listen with the intent to use its counsel in your life. You may
find it helpful to speak to others about when they received their blessings.

What prompted you to read this guide and to understand more about patriarchal blessings? What
sparked your interest in receiving one? What feelings do you have when you think about receiving
it? Learning to trust your own desires and the feelings of your heart is a true sign you are ready to
move forward.

what if my blessing is not what I expected?

“[Through our blessings] we can become stronger, our talents and ability can be magnified and
multiplied, our understanding can be greatly enlarged, and our spirituality can flower.”4

There may be parts of your blessing that you do not understand or would not pick for yourself.
As I sought to learn about a virtue mentioned in my blessing I once looked at with disdain—
meekness—it became one of my most cherished gifts because of the experiences I had and the
tutoring I received from the Spirit. It may feel easier to turn to man or the world to gain better
understanding, but I implore you instead to trust in God and turn to Him when you are doubting
or confused. He wants to help you find clarity. Understanding your blessing, what it means, and
how it can guide your life is not a singular event but a journey.

In the same way you interpret and apply scripture differently based on your current life situation,
so can your blessing change before your eyes based on your lived experiences. God will always be
there to help you understand what your blessing does say and how it applies to your life at any given
moment. Praying over it and seeking to understand it with the Lord’s help is a great pattern to live by.

The Lord gave Lehi the Liahona with the stipulation that righteousness would allow him to find
his way, and you can apply this condition to your blessing. When you exercise faith, you are
blessed with increased direction. God wants to give you more tools to navigate this life.

“The same Lord who provided a Liahona to Lehi provides for you and for me today a rare and
valuable gift to give direction to our lives, to mark the hazards to our safety, and to chart a way,
even a safe passage—not to a promised land, but to our heavenly home. The gift to which I refer is
known as your patriarchal blessing. Every worthy member of the Church is entitled to receive such
a precious and priceless personal treasure.”5
the process.
next steps:
Reach out to your bishop and ask to meet with him about receiving your blessing. He will
conduct an interview just like a temple recommend interview and give you a Patriarchal Blessing
Recommend. This is also a chance to ask the bishop any lingering questions you have or for advice
as you prepare for your blessing. Next, you will contact the patriarch to set up your appointment. `

You may choose to have someone accompany you to your blessing. It is common for parents or a
spouse to attend, though some people choose to experience the blessing alone. If you choose to
bring people for support, I suggest inviting only people who are permanent fixtures in your life,
rather than a boyfriend or girlfriend. Invite those who will help to enhance the Spirit and with
whom you feel comfortable sharing a sacred experience.

what to expect:
Generally, most patriarchs conduct blessings on Sunday evenings in their homes. It is customary
to attend in Sunday dress. The patriarch will likely talk with you and anyone you brought with you
before proceeding with the blessing. A patriarchal blessing is different from a typical priesthood
blessing because it will be audio recorded so that your blessing can be transcribed. The patriarch
will place his hands on your head and pronounce the blessing. As this is unlike any other blessing
given, it is not uncommon for the patriarch to pause in between ideas as he seeks clarity, finds the
right words, or simply seeks to better discern what the Lord would have him say. Come with the
intent to listen and take in the experience rather than impatiently waiting for the answers in the
moment or trying to remember everything that is said. This should be an experience, a moment,
not a checklist item.

At the conclusion of the blessing, the patriarch may speak with you, but he will likely leave you
with those you came with so that you can sit with the Spirit and share thoughts and feelings with
one another. Take these moments in.

Your blessing will be transcribed so that you can have a copy to guide and direct you for the rest of
your life. A copy is also sent to the archives in Salt Lake City to be preserved. This ensures that it
will never be lost, and you can access it online should you ever lose your copy.
 preparation.
“Spend more time—much more time—in places where the Spirit is present. That means more time
with friends who are seeking to have the Spirit with them. Spend more time on your knees in prayers,
more time in the scriptures, more time in family history work, more time in the temple. I promise that
as you consistently give the Lord a generous portion of your time, He will multiply the remainder.”6

With an experience of this magnitude, preparing spiritually can only help to enhance the Spirit
felt and the way in which you receive its words.

pray:
As you approach the day you will receive your blessing, pray with a fervent heart that your mind
will be clear as you receive your blessing. Pray that you can remove worries of what may or may
not be in your blessing and replace them with faith and hope. Pray that you can be present in the
moment during the blessing so that you can be open to it all, to be present and to not let your
mind wander. Find ways to deepen your prayers and strengthen that connection with God. He
always hears your prayers and will send answers and comfort.

fast:
When you fast, you stop relying on your body for sustenance and learn to better rely on your spirit
and your God. You put away earthly things for a time and focus on the spiritual. You may choose to
fast in the days or weeks leading up to the blessing, the day before, or the day of. No matter what
you choose, I know that as you fast, you can have a greater measure of the Spirit and increase your
ability to hear His voice.

temple attendance:
As you approach this sacred experience of receiving your blessing, finding greater peace in the
temple is a wonderful way to better open your ears to the whisperings of the Spirit. Make time to
attend the temple. While doing baptisms, take special note of the twelve oxen that hold up the
baptismal font. The twelve oxen represent the twelve tribes of Israel, as they are the strength that
hold up the Lord’s work, most especially the work of salvation. You might ponder how your work
as a descendant of Israel can help build the kingdom and how the counsel in your patriarchal
blessing might help you find clarity on your role in the work.

If you are endowed, performing baptisms is still a very powerful experience, as stated above.
Additionally, there are great insights to be had in both the endowment and sealing ordinances that
relate to your tribe and ancestors. Pay particular attention to the blessings that descendants of
Israel are promised in each of those ordinances.
journaling your experience.
The day you receive your patriarchal blessing can be very special. You might think you will
remember everything, but over time, it can be easy to forget details. Recording your experiences
immediately afterward can help you remember the special details and feelings of your heart. Here
are some prompts that may help you as you journal.

• Journal before you go. How do you feel (excited, nervous, hopeful for a specific answer)?
What questions do you have prior to the blessing? What are your predictions or
expectations?

• Write about the experience as soon as you come home. If your parents or a spouse attended,
ask them about their thoughts of the event and record what they say.

• Write about your feelings during the blessing. What was the most powerful moment? The
most memorable? Write any phrases that you remember. Write about anything that surprised
you, excited you, or brought you comfort. Was there anything said that only the Lord could
have known? How does this experience affect your understanding of God and how He knows
and loves you? Does it affect your faith in yourself to reach the potential that God sees in
you? What was your biggest takeaway, your biggest lightbulb moment, or your biggest feeling
about your future?

• Write about how it feels to look forward to your path now that you have this compass. Has
it prompted any decisions or actions? Does it confirm any of the plans you’ve made for
yourself? Do you feel inspired to make any changes?

sharing
your blessing.
Your patriarchal blessing is personal scripture and should be kept sacred. Keep your blessing and
any personal inspiration or interpretation of it private. “[They] should not be read aloud in public
or read or interpreted by others. Not even the patriarch or bishop or branch president should
interpret it.”7

Respect the revelation you receive. They may be shared with immediate family members or a
spouse in reverence and in the appropriate setting, but any time you share, let the Spirit guide you.
More than one general authority has shared pieces of their blessing in an effort to show how God’s
guidance has helped their life and testimony. Sharing in the right way may help someone else on
their journey.
 moving forward.
“Your blessing is not meant to be folded neatly and tucked away. It is not to be framed or published.
Rather it is to be read. It is to be loved. It is to be followed.”8

The importance and relevance of your blessing should not stop the day you receive it. It should
grow in importance as you make studying it a lifelong pursuit. In the same way you study the
scriptures throughout your life, you should make a repeated effort to study your patriarchal
blessing. This act of faith and diligence will deepen your understanding of it and your life each
time you return to study it.

Since I began in earnest to study and understand my blessing, I have had numerous experiences
where my scripture study has brought new depth to ideas in my blessing. Conference talks
centered on a single word within my blessing have given me fresh perspective that I might have
overlooked had I not been as familiar with my blessing. The more I value and study the messages
God has given me, the more revelation He has blessed me with.

This is the value of studying your blessing. It will augment every other study that you do. You will
look for things you wouldn’t have otherwise. You will find answers you weren’t seeking, as well as
ones you were. And the more time you put into studying your blessing and God’s purpose for you
on this earth, the more God will bless you with understanding. Just as Alma taught, if we receive
that which we have been given, “to [us] is given the greater portion.” God always wants to give us
more. We only need to seek it and Him.

I promise as you continue to learn and study both your blessing and the gospel, you will have
greater clarity about who you are, who God knows you can be, and how you can fulfill your
mission on this earth. He has a plan for you—just for you. I invite you to dive in and discover it.

1. James E. Faust, “Priesthood Blessings,” October 1995.

2. James E. Faust, “Patriarchal Blessings” (Brigham Young University devotional, March 30, 1980),
speeches.byu.edu.
3. Russell M. Nelson, “Thanks for the Covenant” (Brigham Young University devotional, November 22,
1988), speeches.byu.edu.
4. James E. Faust, “Priesthood Blessings,” October 1995.
5. Thomas S. Monson, “Your Patriarchal Blessing: A Liahona of Light,” October 1986.
6. Russell M. Nelson, “Becoming True Millennials,” (Worldwide Devotional for Young Adults, January 10,
2016).
7. Gospel Topics, “Patriarchal Blessings.”
8. Thomas S. Monson,“Your Patriarchal Blessing: A Liahona of Light,” October 1986.
9. Alma 12:10
your blessing
can be so much
more than words
on the page.
Preparing to receive your patriarchal blessing may seem
daunting, but it doesn’t have to be. This guide will walk
you through deciding when to get your blessing, preparing
to receive it, and processing your blessing afterward.
Confidently begin the process of learning more about your
divine nature and what God’s individual plan is for you.

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