If your happiness depends on the

actions of others you know you're

at mercy of things that you can't
control the best-selling author and
host the number one health and
wellness podcast on purpose with
jay shetty yeah i'm not even just
saying this i literally think i
manifested this like it's the after i
saw you at simi and hayes house
so that was a couple months ago
and then a few weeks ago my i
was talking to my social media girl
randomly we were just talking
about a bunch of stuff um and just
kind of what i would love to
represent just talking about a new
chapter for me and whatever and i
was she was like who would you
 really want to like talk to or
whatever and i was like it'd be so
cool to talk to jay and she was like
that would be really cool and then
we kind of just that was kind of
the thought and whatever and then
you hit me and i was like no
freaking way he's hitting me right
now so i was like absolutely this is
like perfect it's the universe just
putting it in perfect timing because
that makes me so happy because it
was exactly the opposite way so
i've for a long time had people that
i'd love to sit down with and every
time i saw you do something with
mental health and vogue or any of
the segments that you ever did i
was just like she's amazing like
 you know it's incredible the way
you were talking about it when
you'd post about it i'd be like oh
this is incredible like to see see
you speaking so openly about it
vulnerably about it and so i've
always wanted to do this yeah and
then but we've never really
crossed paths so i'm always just a
bit like and i don't like asking
friends of friends when i haven't
met someone and right so i i was
like that day i had to like pluck up
the card i'm just gonna ask for
myself no because it's easier when
i asked and i know christy so yeah
yeah yeah but i was like i it's nice
to win this i told my team too i
was like it's so much nicer when
 there's like a personal connection
for sure and someone really feels
comfortable rather than it's like a
piano no it was it was so perfect
like when i think back to it i'm like
that was me just trusting the
universe and not pushing for
anything and i knew it was gonna
kind of happen when it was
supposed to and it literally didn't it
did yeah you felt it too yeah i did
that means a lot to me yeah and i
hope that this is the start of
spending more time together me
too yeah off camera too i would
love that because like i think also i
don't know like i admire people
like you i admire like you know
the the michael pollins and
 michael singers and wim hofs of
the world and i feel like you fit in
that category for me of just people
that are because you know i know
a little bit about your story i'd like
to actually know more which
would be really cool to actually i
know we're obviously not here
next to for that exactly but for me
just personally like i'd love to
know more of your story i know
that um you've had quite the
experiences and i think that's so
cool i'm like so intrigued by people
with just that amount of curiosity
and like determination
determination and patience like
that takes so much patience to be
like you or like any of those
people that i just listed it's so cool
to me and i just i wish i wish for
myself but i'm working on it no
you're that curious too yeah i am
it's just you know that that level of
like i said patience and
determination is like it's a gift like
that is like a really really amazing
gift and like i said like i'm just
working on it all the time and i
that's my goal in life i guess well i
i think i feel the same way about
you again that and by the way i
love all these people you just
mentioned too so yeah so feel very
honoured to be put into that group
of people and we've had women
on the podcast before too so he's
been a guest but with you i feel
 the same way back when it's like
when you see someone who is so
curious who could get away with
not worrying about these things if
you don't want to but then still
being courageous enough to talk
about these things and then using
your platform as a space to open up
these dialogues like that is as if
not more important as well as as
doing the work and doing the path
yeah i mean i can see you doing
the work it's fun watching you do
the work and figuring it out i love
working on myself like it is
actually like a passion of mine and
like i just i find so much comfort
and joy and like actually finding
where i think i could better myself
and being like even if it's physical
like physical as in like my
physical health or working out or i
just started doing speaking of wim
hof i just started doing like cold
plunges and ice baths and like
even if i don't have the time to go
outside i just got a cold plunger i
did it right before i got here it's the
best thing ever again it takes so
much mental the whole thing of it
is all mental so i don't know just
stuff like that i really love so i'm
always i'm always trying to just be
the best version of me and so i just
love that it like actually makes me
feel really good i love self-care
and i just love stuff like that so it's
been really cool but it's cool for
 you to say that you enjoy seeing
that from me because there's
always been kind of this weird
part of it for me where i'm like is
this a pity party because i don't
want it to be like i want this to feel
very positive i want to connect
with people and i guess that's that
is my goal there is to be like there
actually is this side of me that you
might may not know of but the
goal here is to connect and also not
feel like i'm throwing some pity
party for myself because i want
this to be a learning experience for
everyone i want this to be really
positive and really really well
received i want you to look at it
and actually have a positive
 feeling towards it so i don't know
you'll find like if i you know when
i do kind of post about something
or when i want to talk about
something i'm usually sharing a tip
or like sharing kind of like a little
technique even if it's something so
simple as like walking outside
taking a few deep breaths and
journaling like yeah it's just that
kind of stuff that i really like um
to share because i feel like i want
to be helpful yeah more than
anything absolutely and that's how
that's at least how i see it yeah i
see it not completely not as a pity
party at all but so much more is
just hey here's a reminder yeah
that's something that i did yeah i
 feel like that positivity shines
through too in the way you do it so
at least if that helps whatever
that's worth from the outside it
definitely comes across that way
cool and this is easily been the
warmest introduction to a flower
conversation i've ever experienced
in my entire life i'm doing gonna
say i was actually i was actually
really nervous coming in here
because this means so much to me
like and i'm serious because you
know i've done a lot of interviews
in my life and when when thinking
about this one or thinking about
that i even wanted to do something
like this it just it means a lot to me
and so it made me a little nervous
 and i was like i just want to get
this right this isn't like you know
me going out and promoting
something or talking about
something this is you know
something very real that um we all
experience which is just you know
ourselves and our well-being and
just everything so yeah and this is
this is a you know for me
genuinely and i really do mean
this like the podcast has been a
great excuse or really from my side
an intention to get to know people
and i really admire yeah and so for
me it's been a great way of
building new friendships and
relationships because if you can sit
and talk to someone and really get
 along with each other you're like
oh we should do this more often
and so well i'm honored yeah so
for me it's definitely been that and
to me you know you saying that
and you know taking it as
intentionally as you are it's you
know for me it's as important i i
always share this before we start
recording usually but we just
flowed hey everyone welcome
back to on purpose the number
one health podcast in the world
thanks to each and every single
one of you that come back every
week to listen learn and grow now
it's very rare that i get to sit down
with someone that i have admired
for a very long time from afar
someone that i believe has inspired
me through the sharing of their
story someone who speaks so
vulnerably and openly about the
things that i most care about
mental health purpose uh the
journey of life and discovery and
curiosity and what i want to share
about this person is when i
bumped into them at a mutual
friend's birthday party and i just
want to give a big big shout out to
simeon hayes because it wouldn't
happen without them i love you
simeones you've been amazing
guests on the podcast before as
well i wouldn't have bumped into
this individual and had this
opportunity to reach out to them
 and as soon as i reached out this
has been the most flowing
conversation and connection that i
possibly had on the podcast to be
honest so i just want to put that out
i'm speaking about the one and
only someone who needs no
introduction but successful
business founder international
supermodel uh founder of the
incredibly successful tequila brand
818 and star on the hulu's the
kardashians which premieres in
second season on september 22nd
the one and only kendall jenner
kendall thank you so much for
doing this thanks for having me
that was a wonderful introduction
oh well it's it's honestly such an
 honor getting to know someone
who it's very rare that i find
someone who functions in with
very similar values in in a personal
connection sense so when i
reached out to you i i really meant
everything i said and i could have
written you an essay but i was like
let's spare the details and then to
get your response and then for us
to be here within a couple of
weeks of connecting yeah and even
your message this morning i just
want people to know i was like
the the text you sent me this
morning i was like this never like
i was like this is amazing and i
was like but and i was literally
going to do the same thing and so
 to me i was like this is very rare
and so i love the synergy and the
flow that we're experiencing and
me too i'm excited to get into it
now it's funny because i called i
called hayes before um the other
day and i was just like oh my god
i'm going on your friend's show
and whatever and she was like he's
the best it's good you're just gonna
flow right into it he's so easy to
talk to and that's literally what
happened and like i told you i just
feel like i manifested this moment
for for both of us and for this just
this whole experience and so i am
really happy to be here and i'm
honestly honored like i said i
admire you and i there's so many
 people like you that i admire so i
think sitting down here with you is
just so cool for me and i get to talk
about fun things with you
amazing first of many and i wanted
to start with because i always like
to start with just things that i've
seen more recently a couple of
days ago i think you posted a
beautiful picture of you hugging
your horse and you were like you
know like snuggle time or
something like that and i was just
like when when did horses become
a part of your life and how did
you get so close to them i think
i've spent many lifetimes with
horses i think this is very one of
many lifetimes that i've had i grew
up in a horse community so where
we grew up horses everywhere
more trails than there were homes
really and so i was always around
horses and i just was deeply in love
with them and i have no
explanation and that's why i say i
feel like in past lives i have just
been around horses yeah so since i
was a really young kid loved them
and continued to love them my
whole life they're just the best
they're the most majestic and
gorgeous and spiritual they feel
everything i just like it's such an
honor to be in their presence and
to be able to do what i can do with
my horse i find so magical that i
can stand in her stall with her and
 just like vibe out with her i like
sometimes come to like a little get
a little teary-eyed when i'm
standing in my stall with her
because i'm like this is so cool that
you allow me to do this and we
have this connection without any
words it's just the best thing ever
so i love them yeah that's so
special i i have a different teary
eyed story with horses but tell you
i'll tell you the short version so
when i proposed to my wife who i
can't wait to introduce you to
when i proposed to her which was
eight years ago or something like
that when i proposed to her i
organized a very what i would
consider like a very a very
 hollywood proposal it was it was
too over the top and i would do it
totally different today with all
everything i've learned happens
yeah it happens it happens and so
we were walking by the thames in
london which is where we're both
born and raised and this acapella
group jumps out and they're
singing bruno mars and then like
they give her a bouquet of flowers
and then i get on one knee i
propose we have dinner by the
river and then we walk around the
corner and there's a horse room
and carriage to take us around to
take us around london and so we're
on this carriage we have this
beautiful you know path through
 london and then we get into the
train to get back home to her
parents to tell them and they
already knew she's got hives all
over her face no way she was
allergic she's allergic to horses i
was like all right so then she was
like she had tears and when we got
back her parents were like what
did you do to her at least you got
to enjoy the moment but but no i
don't i don't know no i love horses
the same way you do like i used to
go to india a lot when i was a kid
and that's where i first learned to
be with horses and i mean they're
so therapeutic absolutely yeah
there's a reason there's equine
therapy it's the best exactly yeah
they make me they make me when
i'm with her i have a few but i'm
most mostly with one of my
horses right now because her
name's delandra i didn't name her
she came with her name but i call
her dylan or dill um i love her so
much but when i'm with her i i
genuinely i speak of like i sp i
spoke about how i've just loved
horses my whole life i i feel like a
kid around her like i feel like my
12 year old self that would get up
every morning throughout the
entire summer at 8 a.m to go just
be at my trainer's facility and i
would stay there from 8am to 8pm
i'd ride all her horses i'd groom all
her horses i would just sit in the
 stalls with all the horses like it just
anytime i'm with her i just have
that sense of like being a child
again and it's a really really good
feeling animals have that special
ability don't they like so
whichever animal you're attracted
to and yeah i i never thought i
would but when i lived as a monk
the animal that's revered in india is
cows and you would never think
of cows being like majestic or you
know in that way especially when
you're not in india but the cows in
india have these like lotus like
eyes like their eyes are just like
absolutely stunning yeah and
they're so special and they're such
gentle animals and recently radhi
 and i went uh trekking with
gorillas in rwanda and gorillas are
the we have to go that sounds
unreal it was unbelievable and
they're the animal that's revered in
rwanda so whenever they have a
new gorilla that's born they have a
naming ceremony with the
community love that it's so
beautiful but and then i heard
somewhere that you your first job
was you were a dog walker yeah
and so i was thinking like do you
have any lessons or anything you
learned by being a dog walker i
think first jobs are so interesting
yeah no i mean i was always a
super disciplined child like
meaning to my like i just loved i
 would put myself to bed at 7 00
p.m be like my mom would be like
playing with me and my little
sister and be like mom it's seven i
gotta go to sleep like it's time for
my bedtime she'd be like are you
okay and so i was always that kid
and so i i think i just was always
really eager to like work i don't
know why i just like wanted to
always have something to do
something that i felt passionate
about that i really enjoyed and so
yeah when i was young i put some
flyers around our community and
said i would walk dogs and i
ended up getting people that would
get let me have their dog for a few
hours and take it for a walk so i
 loved animals and i liked having
something to do so i spent i was a
kid that liked to be by myself with
animals so like i think that that
was a cool very fitting thing for
me because i got to be by myself
walking but then also experience
all these little dogs with yeah yeah
i wish i did i used to deliver
newspapers so that was my first
job and it's not as glamorous in
london because it's raining was
that what you were desiring or was
it no i was just 14 years old and i
wanted to make some money just
like i need it i was like i need to
make some money yeah and so i
was like i'm gonna start doing this
and you don't get to you know
 you'd see it in the movies where
the paper boy just like chucks the
paper at the door but i'd like to
actually go and put it inside so my
only interaction with dogs is they
were on the inside grabbing the
paper right and so yeah yeah and
stuff but i always love knowing
about people's first jobs and how
things start for them because of
you know obviously where you
are today but what do you think it
was in those early years where
you just said you were very
disciplined like it sounds like you
were you were aware of certain
habits that you built then what
were some of the things that you
feel confident about or how how
 did you look for validation in
those early years and where did it
come from for you i mean it's
interesting so kylie my little sister
she was always the social butterfly
i was always i just liked being to
myself i don't know if that's the
scorpio in me so it just came
naturally or whatever i had i had a
group of friends who i loved but i
just i i like can vividly remember
just on the weekends not running
to go be with my friends all the
time during the summer i was with
them but on the weekends in
between school i would i was
really just by myself i would love
to like hang out in my room i like
was kind of a nerd i loved video
 games and like sitting on the
computer and playing sims all day
like i just kind of liked being to
myself and then all day long during
the summer was with my horses
and yeah i don't know i just it just
brought me joy i don't think i have
like a you know a super long
explanation for that it was so
simple for me as a kid like it was
just as simple as that made me
happy and that's just what i wanted
and it explains i guess a lot of me
now um i went through like a
phase where i felt like i had to be
around people i think i live a very
social life and my job is very
social so i was you know kind of
conditioned to want to be around
people a lot and then as you know
the pandemic came around you're
not around as many people
anymore and now i'm just re-
enjoying being by myself which is
really cool yeah and um i had the
most i had the best day on sunday
all by myself i got up i went and
rode my horses i like um took my
niece to ride her pony just me and
her was so nice brought her back
home went to my house got in my
cold plunge went in my pool laid
out journaled like i was having the
best day and i was just pretty
much all by myself so i i enjoy it
so much i love that i'm sure that's
so refreshing for people to hear
too because i feel like people may
 from the outside perceive a life
which obviously like you said for
work it's busy and it's social and of
course you have wonderful friends
but to know that you can feel
comfortable in your own company
and that's been a habit that you've
developed i crave simple things
like i i love my life and i love my
job and i i feel so fortunate that i
have been placed here that for
some reason i was given this life
like i feel immensely grateful for
that and i have had so much fun
and i like think back on just the
experience that i've had the
experiences that i've had this far
and it's like it's like it's shocking to
me i'm like this is so freaking cool
that i live this life but at the end of
the day like when i am home and
when i'm alone like i crave the
simple things i love a simple day i
love just like a simple routine and
being to myself and being around
the people that i love my small
core crew so yeah that's beautiful
yeah i mean that's i think that's
what we're all striving for is right
that passion in our case and our
work and then the simplicity at
home what would you say i was
thinking about this and i've
watched so many of your
interviews and read so much too
but what would you say for you as
being one of your like proudest
moments or greatest achievements
 or something that you really feel
like and internally i mean like for
the basis of our conversation like
something that really brings you
joy internally when you think
about it or when when you had it
like i said i look back and the
things that i've accomplished just
even my job like i think i really at
one point when i was younger
decided i want to be a model and
this is what i want to do and the
fact that i executed because we
talk about that determination like i
really was i was 14 years old when
i kind of made that decision and
was like this is what i want to do
and i went to my mom and i was
like please help me do this and i
didn't stop until i was 24 that i was
like okay i think i need to like take
it back a notch which we can also
get into because that's a very yeah
kind of dramatic story but like i i
just knew and i think i'm proud of
myself for being that kid and being
determined to do that and then
executing and doing it to the to the
level that i had done it and that i i
guess i still do but i i also am
proud of i think more so the self
self-work that i've done within that
process because there was a long
period of time i'd say the core five
years of it that i was extremely
overworked not my happiest not
because i wasn't doing what i
loved but just because i was
overwhelmed and i was i felt like i
was saying yes to everything
because i felt really really grateful
and really honored to be in the
position that i was in so i was
always saying yes and it just took
a lot out of me to the point where
i just wasn't happy anymore and
so i had to set those boundaries for
myself when i was about 23 24 i'd
say like what a year before the
pandemic so yeah i was probably
23. i really set boundaries for
myself and i was like i want to
continue to do this because this is
what i love but i need to start
saying no when i can and
prioritizing me and prioritizing
like you know my happiness and
 my well-being yeah and it has
done wonders for me like i feel
like i can show up better for
myself and i can show up a better
person for the people that get to be
around me that day and you know
that i work with on that day so
yeah yeah so that's what i'm proud
of sorry to give you a long answer
i won't say i was hoping for that
because i i'm always open to
wherever anyone's life experience
goes but there's a part of me that
loves hearing that like i really
appreciate hearing that because
when you've achieved so many
incredible things in your career
which you have to then say well
this is the part like knowing how
 to navigate it or making the right
choices at the right time healthy
balance the healthy balance is so
important it's important for all of
us yeah like we have to this is what
we're prioritizing you know yeah
so how did you find the courage to
do that at the 23 mark as you're
saying you're in a competitive
industry as you said it was
overworking it's fast-paced i'm
guessing there's comparison in
that industry there's competition in
that industry it's not an easy space
to be you're of course you know
you're in the top 0.01 in your
industry so it's hard and the reason
i ask this is because i work with so
many people in this space and to
 have the courage to say no i know
that if i sort this out then all of this
is going to be just fine that actually
takes more courage than we
recognize we realize that when
you have nothing then there's
nothing to lose you can actually
have a lot of courage right but
when you have everything and
there's everything to lose and a lot
of the time at least what i've heard
in in town is you know older
managers and agents and i'm not
saying you have any of this but
people that i know will be told well
hey if you don't do this like you'll
be forgotten next year or you
know your career is only going to
last another six months how did
you have that courage to say no no
i need to do this like where did
that come from and i think that it's
intere like i've never thought about
it that way to be completely honest
with you i just knew that if i had
gone any further that i was going
to lose myself i was at that very i
was on the teeter-totter edge of
that point where had i gone any
further i was probably not going to
be great it was so important to me
to feel good that i just knew that it
was something that i had to do and
i can't say like you're absolutely
right like there were so many
people around me that had told
me not to say no and told or told
me yeah told me not to say no told
 me not to stop i fought my way
out of it a little bit because there
were people that had worked for
me that you know didn't want me
to stop because it might have
benefited them of course um but i
got to that point and i just knew i
had to do it and i just i don't know i
don't know how to explain it i
guess it was just such an
unbelievable sensation that i had
where i knew that if i do this i'm
going to be better for everyone
and i'm going to be better for
myself which means i'm going to
be better for the people around me
and i have to do this and so it
wasn't really i want to be able to
live with happiness god forbid any
of this ever went away and i think
that that was a big moment for me
of being like i'm gonna be okay if
i don't get this job tomorrow and
i'm gonna be okay if i don't get
that job in a month if i have to
take this time to do whatever
things will come everything's
going to work out the way it's
supposed to and i had to trust that
yeah well to me on from the
outside and it's it's beautiful that
you didn't see it in yourself
because that almost makes it even
more wonderful but the idea that
to me from the outset that's a lot of
courage yeah it takes a lot of
courage it takes a lot of
vulnerability and openness and
 and it takes courage at every level
whether someone's thinking about
quitting their job to do something
they love or whether someone's
trying to relocate their family and
doesn't know how or whether
someone like you is feeling success
but then going well wait wait a
minute and i think in the past few
years we've seen athletes and
musicians and actors and people in
all creative industries step back
and say well i need to put me first
yeah and i think that that's
empowering because i think we
hear about burnout in working
culture and corporate culture so
often for sure so what what was it
that you started to do with that
 newfound time at that time like
where was is that where the curio
was the curiosity always there and
now you could actually follow it it
was it was it was always there and
i had had a lot of people coming to
me telling me about meditation
and how it changed their life and
therapy and so many different
things and i was a bit
overwhelmed because i was like
oh my god what if this is gonna
suit me i think it's a very personal
experience i think everybody has a
very different version of all of that
stuff and so it was a little
overwhelming so i think i really
just took the time to be off for a
second it was even the little things
 it was like being able to go to my
friend's birthday party which i
wouldn't have been able to go to
before because i was working a lot
i love hearing that because i think
it is those simple things like you
know giving yourself that space
yeah whatever it is that you
needed to do yeah when you
needed it and and like you said
sometimes it's like that's when all
the subscribe buttons come up in
front of you and it's like try this
and try this and it's like well no no
let me just take my time it was
also now that i think about it yeah
23 i'm 26 i've had my horse for so
around that time is when i bought
the horse that i have now who is
my like i i jump her and i like how
i have two other horses but they're
like retired so i don't really ride
them the same way i ride her so
yeah i guess it was around that
time too that i was like i'm going
to do this because i love this and
like i want to get back into it and
this is what i've loved my whole
life so so it was around that time
that i feel like all of that started
happening and i bought my horse
and i like started taking more time
for things that made me really
happy yeah what i what i'm
noticing in you and observing or at
least from i was just saying it's
like it feels like no matter what's
happening in your orbit there's
 this pillar of belief that it's
important to be happy yeah like
you know that's like this core
center belief in your life where it's
like it's important to be happy it's
important to be happy it's that has
to be the goal for sure and you
know it's not always easy we live
in such an interesting industry and
in such an interesting time with
social media that it can be very
hard sometimes you can fall
victim to so many things that
don't serve you and that don't make
you happy if your happiness
depends on the actions of others
you know you're at mercy of things
that you can't control and that's
never where i want to be so i i
always want to live in like me and
my therapist talk about like my
higher goddess my higher self like
i always want to live there
knowing that you know when i'm
there you can't take that away
from me that that's mine and no
matter what you can disagree with
me you can agree with me that's
not going my i'm not changing i'm
not shifting i'm here i'm in my
higher goddess so i kind of i
always live by like holding my
happiness and not letting anyone
else affect it and though i fall
victim to it at times of course we as
we all probably do absolutely i um
i strive every day to live in that
place so what are what are some
 of the qualities of your higher
goddess so that that kind of uh
avatar like she's awesome like i
said i don't love a pity party i also
like you know sometimes it feels
weird to like say good things about
yourself but i've also learned a lot
about talking to myself and a lot
about looking in the mirror and
being like you're great you're
gorgeous you're amazing you're
loyal you're positive you're so
many like i love words of
affirmation i love just sitting there
and reassuring myself of who i am
because that's another thing for me
you know there's so many false
narratives about me about all of us
i'm sure like so many people think
 they have you figured out when
they don't even know the half of it
so sitting there and being like you
know you get frustrated
sometimes it could feel really
unfair you could be reading
something that someone is saying
about you or hearing something
that someone's saying about you
and being like that is so unfair
because that's not who i am and
that really gets to me sometimes
and that really sucks but then
looking at myself in the mirror and
being like but i know who i am
and that's all why does anything
else matter and my friends know
who i am and my family knows
who i am my dog knows who i am
my horse knows who i am like why
does any of everything else is just
noise i i do this exercise i don't
think i've shared this before but i
do this exercise with some of my
clients where we'll go on a walk
and we'll be on a hike wherever
we are and i'll ask them what they
think a piece of you know maybe
there's a little leaf or maybe there's
some a flower or something that
looks a little unique on the path
and i'll say what do you think that
feels like and what do you think it
would feel like if you picked it up
in your hand and they'll be like oh
it looks really rough and like it
might scratch me and like it looks
like a bit you know like uneven or
whatever and it looks kind of hard
and strong and then i'll ask them to
pick it up and nine times out of ten
it's completely different like they'll
pick it up and it'll just dissolve in
their hands or they'll turn it over
and the color is really soft and
sorry the shape the shapes really
soft and the color is totally
different on the other side and i do
that exercise to help us realize just
how multi-faceted humans are
yeah today i've got to meet you
and and obviously we're spending
a lot of deep intimate vulnerable
time together so you learn faster
about someone but if someone only
follows someone on social media
or only see someone at an event or
only sees one interview it's so easy
to create such a singular view of
someone right and i think and i
want to say this because i really
think we all feel it i don't think
anyone wants to be seen in a
singular way if you had to choose
one word that had to be you for
the rest of your life i don't think
anyone wants that of course you
know that we're messy and
complex and different of course
but we like to put someone else in
a box whoever that may be
because it's easier then to live life
and say okay well that's persons a
b right yeah so there's this
beautiful piece of wisdom that i
always share from charles horton
 cooley and he wrote this in 1890 i
think it was which just shows how
true this has been for such a long
time and obviously long before that
as well and he said the challenge
today is i'm not what i think i am
i'm not what you think i am i am
what i think you think i am and
we'll let that blow everyone's mind
it gives me chills every time i say it
yeah charles walton cooley said the
challenge today is i'm not what i
think i am i'm not what you think i
am i am what i think you think i
am and what he's trying to say is
that we live in a perception of a
perception of ourselves so if i
think you think i'm smart then i
allow myself to feel smart right it's
 like we need that value we need
that validation or if i think you
think i'm not smart then i feel hurt
yeah and and the challenge is i
don't know what you're thinking at
all especially outside in the world
and so i find that what you're
saying around like what do i think
about myself like how do i feel
about myself how do the people
that actually know me feel about
me i think that's really
empowering i wanted to ask you
because i feel like from from what
i've seen and from what i've heard
you have you have great
friendships you have a great
relationship with your families
you said like what do you think
 have been really great habits or
traits in relationships that have
helped you build up good
friendships and and family
relations because i think for so
many people sometimes their
friendships and their family can
often be the most difficult part but
i feel like the way you
communicate the way you're
talking about it i'm like okay
there's some really good habits in
place here yeah have there been
any principles or rules that you've
learned along the way that have
been helpful i mean of course
honesty um i'm a big person on
like keeping a really honest
healthy communicative
 relationship um but i also think
like i find it really important to
have not feel like you're on top of
each other when you have your
family around or your friends
around it's okay to like sometimes
even if you're at like a family
dinner running to the bathroom
and just being like let me just take
a couple breaths because this is
getting overwhelming you know
what i mean so i just love to like
take a second my feelings are valid
like sometimes my family's a lot
which i bet everyone already
knows everyone's families have a
sense of crazy to them but but i
think that i can get really
overwhelmed really easily i am
 prone to just you know a good
amount of anxiety and just being
extremely overwhelmed and kind
of taking everything too seriously
sometimes so i like to just step
away sometimes and just be like
this is okay i'm allowed to feel this
way it's valid i'm just going to take
a deep breath and i'm not going to
react and then i'm going to go back
out there and i'm going to be fine
sometimes i do that i love that i
love how easy it is no one needs to
learn a new meditation practice or
a new thing sometimes it's as
simple as that yeah it's as simple
as that i love that i you know one
of the things that you know which
which really touched my heart
 when i saw this because i think
when things happen in culture and
and everyone talks about it but but
sometimes you're like okay well i
can tell that there's a real
connection here like when when
you lost virgil right like that when
i when i saw your message and
what you spoke about it i was like
wow this is this is someone who
had a really deep connection with
this individual and going through
grief is really really tough like you
know people who lose and i lost
uh two really close people to me
during the pandemic i'm sorry uh
one was thank you one was one
was my spiritual teacher since i
was 12 years old and he died of
 stage four brain cancer and i
hadn't seen him during the
pandemic i couldn't go back for
his because that was still when it
was like yeah locked down yeah he
couldn't go back for his funeral
and you know he'd been the
person who'd been such a key
piece of my life and then the other
person pretty much in the same
year was my best friend as a monk
so he was still a monk wow and he
happened to get cancer and he
passed away in the pandemic i
couldn't see him either and he was
my age and so to lose someone
that was you know he was still
there and so yeah and so and so
when i saw your you know your
wonderful tribute to virgil as well i
was like you know how how do
you process something like that
when you know it's not only
industry friends but genuine
friendship beyond that and just
how yeah well my first thought
here is why is it always the best
people like why is it always these
people that are just such balls of
light in everyone's life it's like so
you just think about it and you're
like this is so unfair and you're
going through every emotion and
to be honest it was really shocking
because not everyone knew what
he was um going through and
suffering from so it was really
shocking um i'll never forget the
 day i found out and it just
absolutely obviously breaks your
heart and you can't help but be
like oh my god did i did i ever say
enough did i ever tell him enough
it's really interesting to share that
feeling with so many people yeah
it feels good in a way and you're
just like everyone it makes you
feel so human and you're sharing
this emotion with people that
knew him people that didn't know
him people that just loved him
from afar and it's just a really
beautiful and incredible thing to a
certain degree but then also just
obviously the most devastating
thing it hits so hard when so many
people are talking about it and so
 many people are affected by it so
it was definitely um a really
shocking really sad time yeah it
was yeah yeah and those and and
it's really interesting what you said
there it's like why and and i had
that with my spiritual teacher for
sure i was just like like he was
you know and and what's really
powerful about what i could at
least remember from him at that
time was that even though he had
staged for brain cancer which
means he'd lost his short-term
memory and a lot of his long-term
memory is impaired if you ever
met him he would just thank you
for your service to god like he
would just say thank you for
 everything you're doing for other
people and he would just be
grateful and i was just like that's
exactly how v was too he was the
most positive lived life like
appreciative wanted to say yes to
everything wanted to just be there
for everyone you could literally
ask him to design a pencil for you
and he would be like it'll be done
tomorrow what do you what else
do you need like he just had so
much to give and he gave it and
that wasn't that was pre his
diagnosis that was like that was
just who virgil was and so to then
find out what he found out at a
certain point in his life and still be
that person and still like i'm gonna
show up for everyone and like my
time here is so special to all these
other people and i'm going to like
be here to make them feel
amazing it's just like unreal like it
makes you just be like what yeah
like how you're saying how could
you be that incredible and giving
like that is so crazy there wasn't a
selfish bone in that man's body like
he was just the best yeah but i'm
sorry to hear about your oh no no i
i think it's it's actually nice
speaking about people that we both
love in in a in a similar way even
though they're in such different
places in life doing very different
things yeah but to talk about
someone's and i think that's a big
 part of it for me at least with grief
that i feel like when i talk about the
beautiful qualities of the people
that i lost it gives me so much
confidence that they want me to
live it and they want me to try and
embody it and that how fortunate
we are to have experienced that
type of humanity yeah like you
know and those are my thoughts
of him like i think all we ever
really want as human beings is to
be you know when we do leave
this earth we want to be
remembered so beautifully and
positively positively i know at
least i do of course but like you
just want you of course want to
make people feel something and
 he made so many people feel
something and for that it is so
special like they say that we you
know we have our purpose here
and i know that he fulfilled a
purpose here that he was supposed
to fulfill and i think that that's i
think about it beautifully like i
obviously it's a very very sad
situation and it and it breaks my
heart but i have nothing but
beautiful thoughts of him and i
think that's really cool and really
special so yeah you thank you for
sharing that too and i i had to ask
you because yeah i just i feel i
love hearing amazing things about
amazing people that you know
because i think so many of the
 most incredible people i grew up
reading about people that i never
met and i spent a lot of my life
studying books about people that i
never met so malcolm x and
martin luther king and einstein and
people that i really see as people
that have directed so much of my
life from how they lived and i feel
like he was potentially one of
those people that i never met him
because whenever i hear about him
i'm just like for sure oh this is
someone that we could learn from
you you spoke about purpose there
i was wondering how has your
purpose changed you had this very
confident view of i want to be a
model you know you've
superseded exceeded and continue
to flourish in that world and i
always wish that you do how has
your purpose evolved as that
time's gone on i think i've learned
a lot i've learned a lot about
myself about what i want from my
life and which is kind of what
we've been talking about but um
i'm actually really excited to get
older and to learn so much more
about not only myself but like the
journey and the path that i i guess
want to take and want to be on so
i'd say you know my purpose has
evolved from obviously within
business doing what i want to do
and making sure i'm happy and
finding the thing that i love and all
 those things but i've kind of like i
said really tuned in to me and i
think my purpose at least at this
very moment and what i've kind of
evolved into is is my higher
goddess like i am determined to
tune into her at all times but also
as i get older i have so much that i
want to connect with other people
and with you know aka social
media and people that may not
know me personally um and just
you know the following like i said
i i was given this life for some
reason for whatever reason i was
placed here and i do feel a purpose
to share and connect and put a
smile on people's faces or make
someone feel a positive feeling
 and so i think that within me
wanting to achieve me tuning into
my higher goddess i think that also
entails me being a great version of
myself for other people to then
experience and my tips and my
tools and whatever i can share
whatever help i can give i i really
um you know as corny as it
sounds i want to spread love like i
want people to feel love i that's
really i guess the purpose yeah
that's that's beautiful i mean more
can you ask for yeah right yeah
and and it is funny that so much of
the stuff that is corny or you know
whatever that's the stuff that's true
right that's the stuff it is like
there's also just we all just like live
 in such a it's an interesting time
obviously and it can feel really
negative and i tend to stay off of
platforms like social media
platforms because it's hard to look
at sometimes and it feels really
negative so i feel like we all just
need a little bit of a smile
sometimes i agree i agree i i post
these uh videos every day which
are just these fun silly things that
happen in the world that my my
team will find i'll find and i post
them every day literally for that
reason and that reason only
because i'm like i may or may say
may or may not say something
that makes someone smile right
but this definitely works like this
 this without a doubt will bring
some joy to someone's life and if
if this is the only joy that someone
experienced i want them to see
good in the world and believe that
there's good enough that's one of
my favorite things to see on um
tick tock when i sit in my bed at
night and fall victim to tick-tock i
love to see there's people that i'll
post like um here's like five
amazing facts that have happened
in the world in the last couple
weeks or whatever and it'll be like
the you know pandas are not
extinct anymore and like the great
barrier reef is coming back and
stuff like that and so i'm like that's
so cool that's what i want to hear
 exactly and you know if it was
like it's going down it's like it's
going to get a lot of likes and hits
but right if it's going up it doesn't
get the same attention yeah why
do we like gravitate towards the
negative so much like no very
interesting we have to retrain i i
genuinely believe it's just a pattern
it's a pattern and a habit that's been
added absolutely for so long
absolutely and we have to retrain
ourselves the clickbait of it all and
the whole thing and we're like
that's going downhill i need to see
what's happening and we're just
like we do need to retrain our
brains that's exactly what it is yeah
and it starts with what you said
 earlier it starts with how we see
ourselves it is all from that if
someone looks in the mirror as
you were saying earlier or if
someone just reflects on
themselves not in them physically
but just internally yeah most of us
will spot all the negative things
about ourself and then we take that
out into the world and spot all the
negative things about everyone
else and then we take that out into
social media right so that just
propels from if it's all a reflection
it's all yeah if we ask someone to
sit down and write down as you
said we feel uncomfortable taking
a compliment or we feel
uncomfortable saying saying nice
 about herself exactly and so it all
starts with our relationship with
ourselves if we were able to find
three good things about ourselves
today i promise you you're gonna
find three good things about the
person sitting right and that will
right exactly i do a lot of like
inner inner child work with my um
therapist and there's actually a
trend on tick tock that was going
around but um coincidentally
enough we ended up naturally
speaking about it in my session
and it was like this trend on tick
tock i guess that was like um like
a girl being like anytime you're
being mean to yourself just think
this is who you're talking about
and it flashes to like a photo of her
as a kid and so i me and my
therapist were talking about
something similar and she was
like why don't you find like a
photo of yourself and put it on
your bathroom mirror so that
every morning every night every
day when you walk into your
bathroom mirror you're looking at
her and you're remembering that if
there's anything negative that
you're ever saying about yourself
if you're ever being mean to
yourself you're talking about her
and so i did that and i went into
my um i went into like my
memorabilia closet in my house
and i was looking through old like
 photo books and i've seen these
photo books my whole life i've
literally seen every photo that's
been in here and i like flipped to a
page and there was a photo i'd
never seen of myself ever it was a
polaroid so it was the original
photo and it was just me as a little
girl with a bow in my hair and a
dress on and i have like a little
alien tattoo or something right
here and i'm like have this big
cheesy smile on my face and i was
like that's the photo i'm putting on
my thing i can show you the photo
later i have a picture of it on my
phone but um so i pasted it on my
bathroom mirror and i talked to her
and i'm always like if i'm ever
 looking in the mirror and being
negative towards myself or
anything i always look right over
to her and i'm like she's dope i
love her and so it's just another
way of just self-love i love that
that's such a great tool that's such a
great tool my team found a kid
picture of me and made an
embarrassing version of that trend
so i'll show you that too oh
awesome okay so you know it
yeah exactly i know exactly what
you're talking you were saying
earlier that you know you you
wanted to come here and you you
wanted to share and you
manifested and you there were
things you wanted to share what is
 it that's on your heart that you've
wanted to share that maybe we
didn't go there today already or is
there something on your mind and
heart as an experience or a any
anything that really drew you here
and made this happen right like i
want to honor that i think we've
obviously we've honestly touched a
lot of what i felt like i would have
loved to get off my heart i don't
know i was really excited honestly
to come here and share a little bit
of me that i feel is very sometimes
scary for me to share and like i
said i came in here and i was a
little nervous because this is
important to me and like this part
of you know everyone's journey
 and and what we're talking about
today is it's so important i really
that was i guess my intention here
today was to come in and share a
little bit of me and maybe for
whoever's watching they find some
comfort in this or some joy from
this or they understand me a little
bit more you know what i mean so
i think that we've hit a lot of really
cool points and yeah i mean i feel i
feel really good good i wanted to
honor that i i asked that because
you know i think i think when
when you feel you're in that flow
with someone and yeah i feel like
you know we've learned so many
new things about you today and
there's so many moments where
 i'm like i just feel like you're so
comfortable and and you've been
so open with us but i just wanted
to honor that thank you and make
sure that you feel that you've
really felt heard and seen i
appreciate that thank you so much
so we all want to just be
understood at the end of the day so
i think the closer you get to people
humans the closer you get to
people of different backgrounds
and different walks of life the
more you start to recognize how
similar we all are yeah exactly and
how many challenges we all share
despite how much money someone
has in the bank despite how much
fame someone has despite how
 much followers someone has and
what we find is that everyone feels
their own guilt for where they are
and everyone feels their own
pressure for where they are and
everyone feels their own challenge
for where they and you just start to
realize that we all have the same
emotions exactly in different
mixes yeah we're all just having a
human experience exactly we're
all just going day by day i think
we all need to be a little bit kinder
to each other and just take it easy
on some people so because we are
we're all we all have our own
struggles and um i don't know i'm
an empath so i like feel for things
and i feel for people and um yeah
 yeah and it starts with you the the
person right yeah exactly i thought
you meant me i was like i don't
know i don't know i was just like
thank you i went back to our
listeners i found that the days i
stopped judging myself i stopped
judging others because it it
changed how i saw humanities
yeah uh kendall we end every on-
purpose episode with a final five
which is a fast five round i ask you
a question and you answer it with
a one word or one sentence
maximum so it's super quick okay
okay and we have to whisk you
away because you need to you
need to go to your next
appointment uh but okay so the
 first question is what's something
you're curious about right now oh
um i am super curious about i was
saying how i love um michael
singer and i think what i really love
i'm reading uh the surrender
experiment right now and i'm only
in the first couple chapters so he's
basically this is not a quick answer
it's great i love it though please
please he's basically at the first
part of the book where he's talking
about how he was curious about
meditation and how he got into
meditation and how he really just
was like on a trip with his friends
and his girlfriend in the woods and
like sat in a corner or sat at a tree
and was like i'm gonna just really
 dive into this and see what
happens that's what i'm curious
about right now it's just actually
like i meditate i do a lot of
breathing work breathing
exercises and i just really want to
tap in yeah like michael singer
did i love that that's beautiful that's
a great answer that's a great
answer uh second question if
there's anything that you're
working on personally right now
what are you working on on
yourself is there any yes um i'm
working on i'm working on
boundaries and i'm working on
not i'm a stressor like i can stress
about things in my mind and i
overthink and i just so i'm really
working on like calming down and
just letting things flow better and
not being so controlling over
things especially that i can't
control love question number three
uh what's your favorite thing about
founding 8-1-8 oh being an
entrepreneur and being a founder
probably that like i i you know
was a model and i worked for
people a lot i kind of love being
my own boss and really being able
to have my own creative a place
where i can be creative and just
really express my creativity and
have so much fun doing all of that
creative stuff and i've learned so
much and learning about the
culture and learning about the
 tequila and everything like i've
just had the best time so i love that
uh question number four what's
something you used to value but
you don't value anymore
validation great honestly i don't
care anymore great lens at least
i'm telling myself that yes yeah
well we have to make it a thought
first right yeah no but it's true like
i used to care so much more about
validation i really don't care
anymore at least i'm happy to thank
you fifth and final question if you
could create one law that everyone
in the world had to follow what
would it be oh i would do like on
like a sunday you have to take half
the day and like not look at your
 phone or something great i love
that that's a legit look that's great
right yeah kind of nice or the full
day for being really crazy i love
that idea i love that uh ken jenner
everyone this was amazing kind of
this honestly uh and i'm excited to
catch up afterwards too yeah
there's there's just so much flow
and synergy in this whole thing
happening and i can thank you
more for doing this with me here
on on purpose and i hope that this
is the first of many times that we'll
do this but i hope it's the
beginning of a beautiful friendship
for sure in relationship and uh for
sure i wanna everyone who's been
listening or watching back at home
please let me and kendall know tag
us letting us know what resonated
with you what connected with you
like what was it that you've got
curious about or what was
something she said that just shifted
your perspective or where you
learned something new i'd love to
hear it i know there were tons of
moments for me where i was
listening going this is amazing this
is incredible this is awesome so
any wisdom nuggets that stuck out
to you please let us know because
i love seeing uh what made a
difference in your life as well and
a big thank you to kendall for
opening our heart and opening up
our minds thank you i'm honored
thank you so much thank you so
much thank you that's amazing if
you want even more videos just
like this one make sure you
subscribe and click on the boxes
over here i'm also excited to let
you know that you can now get
my book think like a monk from
thinklikeamonkbook.com check
below in the description to make
sure you order today.

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