Problem solving underpins the play of any roleplay-
One of the reasons
ing game, regardless of genre. Whether that means
overcoming foes with superior tactics, answering a tough
riddle or discovering the secret room concealing fabu-
lous treasure, all involve overcoming a difficulty with
your friends. Nowadays, a fantasy RPG devotee has
many choices in which to indulge problem solving with
his fellow enthusiasts. The trend over the last decade or
so has been leaning toward the heroic game. After all,
who doesn’t want to roleplay a hero? Heroes are very
good at resolving a crisis, whether through force of
arms, might of magic or otherwise. Here is where the
HackMaster game sets itself apart from other fantasy
roleplaying games. The HackMaster game is about
more than just playing a hero that fixes troublesome
predicaments, it includes another element overlooked by
the other games – the journey to becoming a hero.
In HackMaster, players begin running characters gen-
erally little better than the local commoner. True, some
may be head-and-shoulders above their fellow man, but
this is the exception rather than the rule. Most
HackMaster characters even have one or more weakness-
es that make the road to hero even more difficult. The
challenge of the game is to overcome difficult situations
with a band of allies, none of whom are overly exception-
al. To find a literary example of this type of story, one
need not look far. Arguably (if not factually) the most
popular fantasy story of all is such a tale. In Tolkien’s The
Hobbit, the main character (as well as his dwarven com-
www.kenzerco.com/hackmaster
panions) is a plain everyday person.
we love this story is because we can identify with Bilbo;
he’s just like us. We root for him as he overcomes the
odds on his journey to becoming one of the most storied
heroes of Middle Earth. The Hobbit is about the journey
to becoming a hero. This is also the essence of
HackMaster.
If problem solving is the essence of roleplaying, then
the journey to hero is the ultimate method of play. The
multiplicity and diversity of available quandaries in
HackMaster-type play unquestionably exceeds those of
the ‘begin play as hero’ types of game. Why bother
ensuring your character carries enough rope when your
party wizard can simply conjure some? With every
move, from positioning in combat, to how rooms are
searched, to equipping properly and so-on, if your char-
acters begin as everyman, you’ll need to think through
each and every aspect of play. Your characters will need
to work as a team and plan to overcome obstacles. And
when you do prevail, you will experience a feeling of
exhilaration like no other – knowing you succeeded by
relying on your wits and gaming skill rather than the
sheer awesome power of your character. This is what
sets this game apart. Play HackMaster for a few ses-
sions and you will realize that this is the last fantasy
roleplaying game you will ever need.
The world of HackMaster needs heroes like you –
steel your nerve, ready your wits and answer the call!
 KENZER AND
COMPANY
Knights of the Dinner Table ®
SPECIAL EDITION #3
June, 2003
_________________________
© Copyright 2003, 2013 Kenzer and
S PECIAL E DITION #3
Company, All Rights Reserved.

Subscriptions: Six month, one- THE KODT DEVELOPMENT TEAM IS

year and two-year subscriptions to J OLLY R. B LACKBURN • B RIAN J ELKE
the monthly Knights of the Dinner
Table magazine are available. Please S TEVE J OHANSSON • D AVID S. K ENZER
see our website for ordering details
and prices.
Other Merchandise: We have
back issues as well as additional
Knights of the Dinner Table compila- TA B L E O F C O N T E N T S
tions for sale including other volumes
of Tales from the Vault as well as
the Bundles of Trouble trade paper- Cries from the Attic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .2
backs that feature the early issues of
Knights of the Dinner Table magazine.
Kenzer and Company also produces Steppin Up to the Plate . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4
several role-playing games and board
games. For a full selection of our mer-
chandise, please visit our website. Three Knights and a Baby . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .8

Mailing Address:
Kenzer and Company Under a Grevan Sky: Walk Away Gracefully . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .12
511 W. Greenwood Ave.
Waukegan, IL 60087
E-mail: questions@kenzerco.com
Under a Grevan Sky: Ashes to Ashes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .18
World Wide Web address:
http://www.kenzerco.com

Submissions: We accept submis- Under a Grevan Sky: Crossin’ the Vargar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .20
sions for strip ideas, jokes, cartoons,
etc. We are interested in running
anything that other gamers and fans Newbie’s Guide to KODT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .31
would enjoy. See our website for
writer’s guidelines. Electronic
submissions preferred. Parting Shots . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .32
Internet: jolly@kenzerco.com
(editorial inquiries only) or
questions@kenzerco.com (all other
NIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE™ was accidentally created by Jolly R. Blackburn way back in
inquiries). Our Twitter handle is K 1990 as ‘filler’ for his small press magazine, S HADIS™.It was something of a ‘creative burp’ and
Jolly really didn’t give it much thought. Perhaps that’s why he was just as surprised as anyone that
@Kenzerco or find us on Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/jolly.blackburn soon KODT was overshadowing everything else he’d ever done and that the created was now con-
trolling the creator. Fortunately, writing and drawing KODT strips isn’t the
Legal Notice: Knights of the Dinner Table and lonely job it was in the past. Hundreds of fans have contributed to the beast
HackMaster are registered trademarks of Kenzer over the years and since joining the ranks of KENZER AND COMPANY and the for-
and Company, mation of the KODT D-TEAM, the Knights have gone far beyond anything Jolly • 1997 • • 1998 •
CattlePunk, SpaceHack, KODT, Bundle of or fellow D-team members, Steve, Dave or Brian ever imagined. It’s been a wild
Trouble, Cries from the Attic, Parting Shots, Tales ride and the D-Team looks forward to seeing where the gang takes them next.
from the Table, The Empire Strikes Jack, The Wizard
of WoH, Behind the Hard8 Ball, The Game Goes
On!!, the Kenzer and Company Logo, and all promi-
nent characters and likenesses thereof are trade-
marks of Kenzer and Company. • 1999 •
CRIES FROM THE ATTIC
Once catching the
“CH
HAAS N’
S II N “scent” of a promising C R E D ITS
A RA
A ABBB T”
B II T idea, the chase is on.
™
PUBLISHER
You’re never really Kenzer and Company
kay, so maybe working three extra issues sure of the outcome

O of Knights of the Dinner Table into

our regular publishing schedule wasn’t as
fatal as I thought it would be (see my editorial
until the chase ends.
Sometimes the elu-
sive rabbit outwits
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
Jolly R. Blackburn
jolly@kenzerco.com
in KODT Special Edition #1). Here we are you and gets away ASSISTANT EDITOR
coming out of the tunnel on the other side and (leaving you empty Noah Kolman
we still have a few hit points left. Amazing. handed). Other times noah@kenzerco.com
What’s more, as Jeff promised when he you manage to bag it
and reap your reward. PRODUCTION MANAGER
helped arrange the deal, all the hard work seems
Steve Johansson
to be paying dividends. The other day he One thing is for
relayed the good news — thanks to Diamond’s certain, the ‘chase’ MARKETING COORDINATOR
marketing-magic, sales levels of Knights of the usually leads to some interesting and unexpect- Jeff Abar
Dinner Table Magazine are indeed rising. As ed places. That’s probably what I love most jeff@kenzerco.com
we go to press with this last installment at least about writing strips. I’m sometimes just as sur-
prised as the reader by the results. EDITORIAL ASSISTANCE
80 new stores have picked up the regular maga-
Barbara Blackburn
zine. Hoody Hoo! The “Under a Grevan Sky” storyline in the
Of course that means there are a lot of new current issue is a perfect example. It was one of ADVERTISING AGENCY
readers out there. Welcome! We’ve been waiting those rare strips which seemed to write itself. It Impressions Advertising
for you. It is my sincere hope that you like what was initially inspired by a real life event which & Marketing
you see here and will choose to join us as our happened at the gaming table. As I developed aldo@impressionsadv.net
journey continues. the idea into a strip, it quickly took on a life of
its own and started heading in unexpected SUBSCRIPTION SERVICES
I’m actually a little sad to see the Special orders@kenzerco.com
directions.
Edition series draw to a close. As much as I may STRIP WRITING
have griped and complained to my partners In the end, what was meant to be a four page
strip ended up being nineteen!! Strangely KODT D-Team
about the additional workload, the truth is I
enough the original inspirational anecdote KODT STRIP ART
had a lot of fun working on the series. Maybe
which had put the entire chase in motion ended Jolly R. Blackburn
it’s because the series gave me an opportunity to up being cut out entirely (It will appear in the
chase a few rabbits (I’ll explain in a moment). future as its own strip under the title “Healer COVER ART
You see, had it not been for our special Dealer”). Pat Quinn
arrangement with Diamond, the odds are none Here’s hoping you enjoy the final results. If Ed Northcott
of the strips appearing in this series would have you like what you’ve seen in this series, be sure
ever seen the light of day. That’s because the CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS
to seek out a copy of our regular monthly mag- Jolly R. Blackburn
added pressure required us to dig deep and fer- azine for more of the same.
ret out new ideas — ideas that we probably Peter Delgado, Jr.
wouldn’t have pursued otherwise. Until then — Game on!
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Jolly R. Blackburn Jolly R. Blackburn
Coming up with new ideas for strips in many
ways is like a hound chasing a rabbit. May 5th, 2003
SHIPPING DIRECTOR
Don “Captain” Morgan
actually EMBER is wearing her FALL ENSEMBLE. “CHARMED PERSONS”
she has DISPENSED with her kelley green CLOAK OF UNDERGROWTH
(INTERNS)
and has donned her LAVENDER jerkin and PATCHWORK vest. Chris Allen
Josef Zimmerman
Paul Glozeris
her NEEDLEWORK
you know. this is EXACTLY
slacks featuring Use It — Or LOSE It!
the reason \ refuse to
FAERIEKIN motifs
sit with the PARTY
rounds out her SUPPORT YOUR
when we DINE OUT.
OUTFIT nicely. LOCAL GAME SHOP

2 ————————————————————— KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE®

Steppin’ Up to the Plate by jolly r. blackburn

UPDATE: last issue b.a. as you take your seats at your USUAL table, you notice oh my. \ hope it’s not
forked over TWO that KRISYLLA* is NOWHERE to be found. YAGGAR the SERIOUS. maybe \
HUNDRED DOLLARS and COOK comes out of the back room to take your order. should LOOK in on her.
some CHANGE for the
massive town supplement; hey, that’s the aaaaah, she’s
“saree, mates. KRIS iz
FOURTH time just POUTING
TERON: DEN OF THIEVES. down wit a SICK stomach.
this week. ‘coz DAVE
\’ll be takin’ yer order.”
jilted her.
armed with advice from
WIERD PETE and the
“HARTZ-FELGUR
PRINCIPLE”, b.a. set out sick?
to DRAW his players into again?
the setting by
getting them
EMOTIONALLY involved.

so far so good...

\ didn’t JILT her. she BROKE \ STILL can’t believe you saw it --\ FAILED
up with me ‘coz \ REFUSED to give you WENT there, dude. my saving throw.
up ADVENTURING and SETTLE down.
yer my best BUD. that chick was on me
you BLEW it. you KNOW ya shouldn’t hit like BEANS on rice.
that don’t you? you had on a friend’s ex.
a GOOD THING going. shya’right.
what can \ say? she only
it just KNUCKLES just has a HOOKED UP
yeah, who cares?
well you isn’t done. WAY with the women. with you to
it didn’t take her make ME
LONG to start DROVE her jealous!
KICKIN’ IT with right into bob’s hey, it’s not they can’t RESIST him.
KNUCKLES. arms. serves MY fault.
you right.

oh
brother.

and ANOTHER thing. \ don’t LIKE the way you TREAT her. why are you JUMPIN’ on MY
draggin’ her off to the DUNGEON like you did. makin’ her tote case anyway? TEFLON
your BACKPACK and GEAR. skinning and gutting your KILLS. “minute man” BILLY knocked
boots with her too.

you even had her out playing DECOY hey, that’s not FUNNY! it
on one of your PICK POCKET forays. could happen to ANYBODY!

of all the times to

guys, PLEASE. roll a frickin’ ONE.
hey, BACK OFF oh yeah? poor KRIS.
jack. how maybe \’ll let’s not get
\ treat my MAKE it my STARTED with she’s just brian isn’t making her
OL’ LADY business. THAT again. got her POLISH his boots or
is MY business. HEAD on maintain his ARMOR.
backwards.
she loves doing she IS
handy with
those things. a SHAMMY.
doesn’t
know
WHAT she
wants.

*Krysilla — the “friendly” Bar Wench who showed romantic interest in El Ravager (Dave) last issue. Described as the ‘gold digger with a heart of gold’.

4 ————————————————————— KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE®

 dude, \ didn’t know you still had FEELING for her. her story would bring a
TEAR to your eye. she told
look, if you WANT me to back out of the picture, \ will. she doesn’t me all about herself when
MEAN that much to KNUCKLES. at least not enough to COST us our \ went with her to KURZY to
friendship. \ wouldn’t let a little CHICK DRAMA come between US. pick up a load of CROCKERY.

HEY!! don’t be apparently her PARENTS died

feelings? me? HA! don’t make me laugh.
TALKIN’ her during the GREAT WITHERING
DOWN like that. when she was just a kid.
BAR WENCH is only two steps up from SAUCEY
TROLLIP on the STANDARD HIRELINGS table.
KRIS has had
her UNCLES cheated her
whoah! hold up. some TOUGH
lady? heh! out of her INHERITANCE.
that’s my LADY BREAKS.
that’s a stretch.
yer talkin about. she was forced
into INDENTURED
SERVITUDE in
order to
PAY off her
FAMILY DEBTS.

a wee bit later...

that’s funny. she told ME her parents look, \’m GENUINELY
were living in DRAYTON’S FORGE. concerned for the woman.
at first KRISYLLA
is RELUCTANT to
they run a HABERDASHERY. she’s been SICK confide in you SARA.
four days now.
you must have heard but then she breaks
wrong. her parents are \’m going to POP up down into TEARS
DEAD -- \’m SURE of it. to her room. maybe and begins SOBBING.
there’s something
well the locals DO call \ can do for her.
“wut um \ to do,
her “TEN STORY KRIS”. she
muh lady? \’m with
has a different STORY for
CHILD! wut um \ to do?”
EVERYTHING they say.
gossip
mongers!

\’m going to go out on a

SHE’S PREGNANT??!!! LIMB here and guess that
one of YOU is the FATHER.

yep. about FOUR aaaah, morning father?

to FIVE months sickness --
along as far as that would
no way! -firp- great.
sara can tell. explain it.
just what
\ needed -- how did
another kid.* THAT
happen?

* See Bundles of Trouble Volume 9; THE LEGEND OF HEIRS — Bob’s character father’s a child and fights to win custody.

KODT®: SPECIAL EDITION#3 ——————————————————————— 5

 oh man. let me
think back... yep. she still has it for me BAD.

FIVE months her way of TRICKING me into settling down.

MAKE-UP she KNOWS a man of EL RAVAGER’S noble
did he say?
SEX my ASS!! character could NEVER be a DEAD BEAT DAD.

she SET
hey -- that’s me up. no way. he CLEARLY said

q
RIGHT around the think again, HERO. he FOUR to FIVE months. that
time we BROKE up. said FOUR months. puts it in the middle.
that would be
after KNUCKLES no doubt about it. | put
took up with her. that BUN in her OVEN.

it’s okay guys. \’m MAN enough to step up to the PLATE

look guys, there’s just NO and accept responsibility. you just leave it to me.
WAY the PARTERNITY of the
baby can be ESTABLISHED. KRIS and \ will work SOMETHING out.

\ suppose the information
could be SCRYED magically
but the simple fact of the
matter is that ANY one of
you could be the father.
\ KNEW there was some SPECIAL BOND between
TEFLON and KRISYLLA. now it makes sense.
hey you CLAIM-JUMPER! where
do you get off claiming
responsibility for MY son?

well that blows. the kid’s your son?

can’t we ROLL off MINE. \’m
for it or something? SURE of it.

look guys. there’s no need to alrighty then --

FIGHT over something that \ PROPOSE we SWEAR wow! now
CAN’T be established. a sacred OATH. THERE’S a
switch.
the UNTOUCHABLE TRIO has EACH of us shall be
ALWAYS shared EVERYTHING. considered the FATHER of
the child. \ further they’ve actually
why not the title of FATHER? propose that we each CHIP taken an INTER-
IN and create a TRUST for EST in an NPC for
hey! that’s an KRISYLLA and the kid. reasons OTHER
share? you why not? than EXPERIENCE
EXCELLENT idea!
mean the kid POINTS.
there was a kid in when the time comes
would have
gee, \ my SIXTH GRADE for us to MOVE ON,
THREE dads?
dunno... class who had they’ll be taken care of.
THREE DADS.
\’m in.
agreed.

6 ————————————————————— KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE®

Three Knights and a Baby by jolly r. blackburn

four months of GAME TIME later, the nervous “DADS” await the BLESSED event.

oh man, \’m a \ just hope the LITTLE well he won’t have to well, that’s
hold on guys -- TYKE makes out okay roll on the INHERITANCE
NERVOUS it guys.
just be PATIENT. on the QUIRKS or STARTING MONEY
WRECK. \
hope his DEX and FLAWS section. TABLES. he’s taken the CHILD
\’ve only got CARE of in
is decent. has ARRIVED.
a FEW more THAT department.
stats to roll.
we’ve
seen to
THAT.
sho
o
sho ka!
oka!

\’m AFRAID \ have a

oooooo! ooooooo! lemme see! bit of BAD NEWS guys.
lemme SEE his character sheet!

the MIDWIFE comes out

\ can’t WAIT to have of the ROOM with the
does he him FITTED for his FIRST BABY in her ARMS.
suit of PLATE MAIL. \ call DIBS
have MY
on holding
eyes?
the KID
first.
heh. \ BET having a SON
he does. is gonna be she INFORMS you
plate mail? that the BABY is fine.
SO kewl.
ummm..., for a BABY?
guys?? however the MOTHER
died giving BIRTH.

moments later...

sara, the MIDWIFE pulls the

SHEET up over KRISYLLA’S head
outta my way!! and pats you on the shoulder.
GAAAA!!! died?
you mean KRISYLLA??
lemme THROUGH!
“ya done what ye COULD mum.
\’m a CLERIC --maybe the poor lass is on ‘er way
\’m afraid so that’s not RIGHT!
\ can DO something. to the DOWNY YONDER now.”
guys. there roll AGAIN! yer
was NOTHING the GM dammit!
the MIDWIFE you can FIX it.
could do. kris...?
-choke-

“let er go,
mum. let
‘er go.”

8 ————————————————————— KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE®

 that’s it? she’s DEAD? just like that? well, let’s have a LOOK at yeah, yeah,
the KID. see if he has all everything
\ don’t understand. what went WRONG? his FINGERS and TOES. looks... FIRP!!!

uh huh..., good, good.

critical fumble on STRENGTH is decent. what the
the BIRTHING TABLE - ooooh, a 17 DEX!!! hell?
- that’s what. thank gawd.
it seems -sniff- once my SON is
we have a again TEFLON a cute little a GIRL?
but the kid?
BILLY feels BUGGER according
he NEEDS a PROBLEM. the bitter to his COMELINESS.
MOTHER. STING
of loss!

a girl? for crying out we’re gonna TAKE

loud. what are we going this kid and we’re brian, \ can’t
to do with a BABY GIRL?!! gonna RAISE BELIEVE \’m the
her as our OWN!! one to suggest
this. but....
\ dunno but something
-sigh- looks tells me this could be
the SCARIEST adenture we’re gonna do RIGHT
like \’ll be perhaps the
we’ve EVER embarked on. by her and KRIS.
RETURNING a BEST thing to
few baby do is LEAVE
gifts to the \’ll tell ya her with an
BAZAAR. what we’re we swore ORPHANAGE.
gonna do... an OATH --
remember? orphanage?

over my
DEAD body.

c’mon guys. help me talk some SENSE into

him. you KNOW \’m right -- the ADVENTURER my apologies, brian. JUSTINIA supports your
TRAIL is no place for a BABY GIRL. decision. \’m just a LITTLE concerned as to how
you’re going to pull off REARING a child.
we could drop her off at the
TEMPLE OF BENYAR in TORCHGAL. we can hire a WET
how TOUGH can it be? NURSE to watch over
you can stop in and VISIT her the UNTOUCHABLE the kid while we’re
whenever we pass through. TRIO has CONQUERED ADVENTURING.
ARMIES. \ think
we can raise
ain’t no KID \’m with them. during my OFF
well, \’ll be. one SMALL child.
of MINE she’s BLOOD, TIME \ can
goin’ in an sara. you don’t TEACH her the
ORPHANAGE. ABANDON yer KIN. ARCANE ARTS.
sorry.

KODT®: SPECIAL EDITION#3 ——————————————————————— 9

 ARCANE ARTS? what the HELL are you talkin’ well it’s a
about? LITTLE NUSHA is gonna be a THIEF like STOOPID name.
it was my
her ol’ man -- not some LAME magic-user.
MOTHER’s we’re not namin’ my
name. kid after some ROCK.
a THIEF? think again CHEESE
MUNCH -- no daughter of NUSHA is careful SLICK. you go
MINE is going to be a THIEF. dwarven for TRAMPLING my FAMILY
“GEM BRIGHT”. honor again and
“little nusha”
oh yeah? you got you and me are gonna
sumthin’ against what the hell? TANGLE.
THIEVES?

yeah.
right.

\ suppose you got a BETTER name in mind...?

this is FAMILY
as a matter of FACT, \ do.
business.
\ was thinkin’ ELLE RAVAGER.

shya’right -- forget it! guys, please. it’s a MOOT

point. she can’t choose a
that’s a FIGHTER’S name. CLASS til she’s TWELVE
LIL’ NUSHA ain’t gonna anyway. why not let HER
be no SWORD MONKEY. decide when the time comes?

stay OUT
of it,
sara.

LATER THAT SAME NIGHT...

oh no. HELL NO.

no way were leavin’ little
ELLE NUSHA KRISYLLA LOTUS
in the care of some
NPC WET NURSE.
what? you sayin’ \’m not
what the hell’s
WRONG with you?
\ ain’t leaving my kid
with no STRANGER.
oh gawd. somebody
please SHOOT me. you
guys are like a bunch okay. so perhaps
of old MOTHER HENS. they’re a little
TOO emotionally
involved in the
SETTING at
make a NOTE bob. this point.
a GOOD DAD? huh?
yer UP on DIAPER
CHANGING DUTY.
well \’m a GREAT dad.

-FINIS- *

* Note: Jolly has promised the adventures of Elle Nusha Krisylla Lotus will continue in a follow up story at some point down the road.

10 ————————————————————— KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE®

Walk Away Gracefully... * by jolly r. blackburn

okay, before after a rather successful DUNGEON CRAWL, you guys got a little CARELESS and
we begin, let’s ended up walking SMACK DAB into the MIDDLE of a GNOME TITAN ambush zone.
REVIEW the
TRAGIC events the party was almost ANNIHILATED. hey, one of those GOONS made
of last week’s a BELOVED comrade was LOST off with my PACK PONY. \ was
SESSION. in the battle and you ended up still making PAYMENTS on her.
yeah,
LOSING most of the HAUL you
yeah...
had acquired during the CRAWL.
shall
we?
thievin’
GNOME
BASTARDS!

we KNOW how it hrrrrmmppphh. you know how it goes.

went down, b.a.
anytime b.a manages to get “LUCKY”
so you don’t have and KNOCK OFF a PLAYER CHARACTER
to keep RUBBING he just HAS to GLOAT over it.
my NOSE in it.
\ STILL can’t believe
the way he SPIKED that you were VERDIGRIS LOTUS got taken
\ rolled up a NEW
character -- so can TWENTY SIDER last week? ROBBED dude. out by one of his OWN spells.
we DISPENSE with the you would have thought he’d no TWO ways
scored the WINNING touchdown about it. yeah. well,
HISTORY LESSOn and BELIEVE it.
just get ON with it? at the frickin’ SUPERBOWL.

it’d take nothing short of a FULL WISH damn, BIG GUY.

are you SURE there’s to undo the “CELLULAR ANNIHILATION”
NOTHING we can do? caused by that SPELL MISHAP. so that’s it?
VERDIGRIS is DOWN
what if we GATHERED wadda ya sayin’? ya got NOTHIN’ for the COUNT?
up his ASHES and up your sleeve BIG GUY?
took them back to...
that frickin’ SUCKS.
let it go, sara. we sorta FIGURED
afraid not, guys.
you’d show up we didn’t even
\ RESEARCHED it all
you’d just tonight with get a chance to
week -- there’s no
be WASTIN’ some sort of FIX. say GOODBYE.
LOOPHOLE for this one.
yer time.

sorry
to
hear
that.

* This original strip is set in the past, about a year or so after Sara joined the group.

12 ————————————————————— KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE®

 just SCATTER my
\ mean ONE MINUTE we were fighting
let it go!! ASHES to the TWELVE
BACK-TO-BACK kickin’ GNOME ASS and the
WINDS, mutter a few
NEXT minute you go UP in a PUFF of GREASY
it’s the LOTUS way WORDS, and RIDE ON.
BLACK SMOKE and our FLANK is exposed.
-- when DEATH and don’t LOOK back.
yeah, and all because of a FLUKE taps you on the
roll on some crappy MISHAP table? SHOULDER, scatter your
you EMBRACE ASHES? in
it was so the BITCH.
\’m tellin’ ya -- this GNOME FRICKIN’
SUDDEN like.
is EXACTLY why \ REFUSE guys, TERRITORY?
to play a MAGIC-USER. PLEASE.
VERDIGRIS was
my BOY. \ just why not?
can’t LEAVE
him behind.

every time one of that’s a really GREAT attitude, BRIAN.

just what the HELL do
those BASTARDS gets a LOT of players could LEARN you mean by THAT?
a little bit of GRIT in by your EXAMPLE. you’re
his eye it’ll be ME ROLE-PLAYING it to the VERY end. HUH, MISSY?!!
with a little PAYBACK.
perhaps some of that GRIT will make
its way to ZARUNDA’s eye when
HAR HAR the WIND blows GENTLE on the trail. was that some sort
aaaahhh, of CRACK about
and when she WIPES away THANKS KNUCKLES THE SECOND?
the TEAR the name of sara.
VERDIGRIS will be on her mind.
what a NICE
thought.
example...?

\ FREAKED out -- okay?? it can happen to ANYONE. GEEZE LOUEEZE!!

life was DUMPIN’ on me at the time. \ had a LOT on my mind. lose your GRIP and FLIP a frickin’
TABLE around here and it gets
\ played that character for FOUR frickin’ YEARS. THROWN in your face for MONTHS.

bob, \ wasn’t what about BRIAN?

you’d be PISSED too if oh yeah, referring to the... huh? he FLIPS the
some lame-ass KOBOLD you were ummmm, INCIDENT. table ALL the time.
took out your FAVORITE DEFINITELY really \ wasn’t. bob...
character with a robbed THAT nobody rides HIS please.
pair of MEAT TONGS. day, dude. oh man - ASS about it.
bob went
BALLISTIC!!

KODT: SPECIAL EDITION#3 ——————————————————————— 13

 HEY!! why do you gotta drag ME into it for? huh? bob, \ was SIMPLY paying
BRIAN a compliment. \ thought
my MEDICATION was causing MOOD SWINGS. \ TOLD ya the way he HANDLED his
that. my DOCTOR changed me over to GLUCOPHAGE. \ character’s death was BEAUTIFUL.
haven’t flipped the table in SIX frickin’ weeks. SHEESH!!!
\’m SORRY if you READ into it.

that’s true. you can we just DROP it and move on?

ummm, guys don’t TABLE-FLIP
maybe we nearly as much DAMN sure. let’s SCATTER the
should get as you USED to. STRAIGHT FAT BASTARD’s ashes
on with \ don’t. and get back to town.
the GAME?

hey, when your NAME BAWL BABY??!!

comes up and oh yeah?
it’s TIME to go just where do you get off calling me
-- you GO, BOBBY-BOY. THAT?? you got SOME nerve, NUMB DICE. SO WHAT?

there’s no PERCENTAGE knowing when to BOW

only reason you’re being so MELLOW
in WHINING or being a OUT gracefully is all part
about VERDIGRIS going down
BAWL BABY about it. of being a true HERO.
is because he was HOSED anyway.

you lost NINE points of INTELLIGENCE of course YOU

when you MIXED it up with a MIND wouldn’t know
FLAYER in that CAGED MATCH last anything ABOUT that.
month. the HIGHEST level spell you
could cast coming out was FIFTH.
-spit- would
-sputter- you?

MOMENTS LATER...
AAAAAARRRRRRR!!

\ SWEAR to gawd --
one of these days,
\’m BOLTIN this
table to the FLOOR.

14 ————————————————————— KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE®

Ashes to Ashes by jolly r. blackburn

the FOLLOWING week -- order is

restored and the GAME goes on... okay guys, let’s find a SECLUDED hilltop where we can have a
little CEREMONY before TOSSING the ashes to the wind.
okay, you guys have gathered
up just about ALL of
VERDIGRIS’ ashes that you can. \ STILL say we should PUT
‘em in the GROUND and
it’s enough to fill pile the ROCKS on high. look, \ don’t
EL RAVAGER’S great hey, that’s care. BURY me.
\’m not sure the a GOOD SCATTER me.
helm almost HALF FULL.
SCATTERING-THING counts point. makes no diff.
toward a PROPER BURIAL.*

yeah,
yeah.
whatever.

hey, that reminds me. \ was reading the BAND

\ hope you’re not \ was just
OF ELVES supplement the other day and \
SUGGESTING we SAYIN’ - that’s all.
stumbled upon something VERY interesting.
do the same.

did you guys know the GREVANS according to the book

mix up the ASHES of their dead there’s a 25%
with some CORN MEAL and chance that some
ZARUNDA would view
make BISCUITS out of ‘em? of the DECEASED’s
such an act as
strength and vitality is
CANNIBALISM. PASSED on in the form of
dude, 1d6 “LEGACY HIT POINTS”.
eeewww. something she would
that’s
biscuits? find very APPALLING. \’m not
sick.
LISTENING to you.

1d6 hit points, huh?

but dude -- what a LEGACY to pass on.

if \ got those HIT POINTS \’d have to

hmmmm... we DID miss keep them LISTED separately with
MORNING CHOW ya know. VERDIGRIS’ name written BENEATH them.

\ got some LARD and a that way whenever \ MARKED ‘em off \ would
SKILLET in my SADDLE- hey!! don’t KNOW it was HIS vitality \ had DRAWN from.
BAGS. maybe we could even THINK
CRUMBLE up a few about it. you’re
CORN DODGERS and mix whoah! that’s saaaay...
is TOTALLY now how joking...
‘em up with some ASH. \’m DEAD that IS
awesome. KEWL is that? RIGHT?!
serious. kewl.

*Bob is referring to the fact that a point of Honor is deducted for “failure to properly bury a member of one’s own race” in the HackMaster rules.

KODT: SPECIAL EDITION#3 ——————————————————————— 15

 dude -- if EL RAVAGER ever BITES the dude -- \ just
big one and he can’t be RAISED?? had a THOUGHT.
you TOTALLY have to EAT me.
you know, it’s JUST what if we DUG up
\ INSIST. it’d be my little this sort of stuff KNUCKLES THE SECOND??
GOING AWAY present to you all. that keeps me coming
back to HACKMASTER
over and over again. we could eat HIM too.
oh yeah - DEFINITELY. okay, \ approve. make a STEW out of
his DRIED up carcass.
the same goes for you guys can go
KNUCKLES. just ahead and make
consider me a BISCUITS out of huh? what’s that? c’mon,
dwarven POWER BAR. me. you have dig up KNUCKLES...? dude.
MY blessing. SHARE the
uh...gee..., \ dunno... wealth.

besides, as SARA pointed out, the mere THOUGHT of eating a FALLEN

okay guys -- let me NIP this
COMRADE’s remains would be UTTERLY repulsive to you. all of your
NONSENSE in the BUD right now.
CHARACTERS come from CULTURES where CANNIBALISM is considered
TABOO. \ should DOCK you experience points
for even SUGGESTING such a thing.
aS USUAL, dave only picked up
enough information to get it
damn, b.a., but it’s
WRONG -- LEGACY HIT POINTS
such a SWEET perk.
are a RELIGIOUS PERK exclusive hey, me
to the DEVOUT followers and you hold on, b.a.
\ just gotta
of the gawd WYANGNORE. what about GARY’S
get me some BOTH.
novel, “A DWARF
of that ACTION.
CALLED HORSE?”
and since he
only accepts well you can
full-blooded FORGET it.
GREVANS among
his FAITHFUL,
that rules any
of you OUT.

in it, the dwarven hero, he ended up CLIMBING up the SOCIAL LADDER among
HERKRIGARD, was captured by the GREVANS and EVENTUALLY became a TRIBAL ELDER.
a roving band of GREVANS and
taken back to their VILLAGE.
at the end of the book the gawd WYANGNORE
offered to ACCEPT the DWARF into the FAITHFUL.
they decided to TORTURE him
to death but HERK was
of course, HERK flipped him the BIRD and told him where
incredibly BRAVE and refused
he could STICK it, but my POINT is -- the PRECEDENT for a
to SCREAM or yell out.
NON-GREVAN being ACCEPTED by WYANGNORE has been
established. and by none other than GARY JACKSON himself!
they were so
IMPRESSED he flipped that was a
oh off a GAWD?
they decided GREAT book. oh, it was.
yeah? AWESOME!
to let him
live and made
him a SLAVE.

16 ————————————————————— KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE®

 oh for CRYING OUT LOUD. what the HELL are you SUGGESTING?

that you go get yourselves CAPTURED by some GREVANS on the OFF CHANCE
they’ll make you SLAVES and EVENTUALLY you can WORSHIP their gawd?

damn, \ wish
gee, \ dunno. hey, maybe we could WANDER
VERDIGRIS
around and wait til some POP
hadn’t DIED.
are there any UP as a RANDOM ENCOUNTER.
GREVANS in he would’a
the area? guys, please. LOVED gettin’
let’s not GO there. in on this.
gimme a
freakin’
break.

besides, \’ve been in the

c’mon guys. you can’t be SERIOUSLY
MARKET for a NEW
considering wandering around the COUNTRY-
gawd for QUITE sometime.
SIDE hoping to get CAPTURED by GREVANS.
DRAPER THE THIEF GAWD
how tough can it be? hasn’t been doing JACK for me.
guys. you DO realize you’re talking
it’s not like we’d put about 1d6 hit points. and only \ can’t
up MUCH of a fight. a 25% chance it’ll even TAKE. \ bet \’ve called say that
upon him for DIVINE about ODIN.
just ENOUGH to make INTERVENTION a
a good show of it. HUNDRED times he’s done
that’s a 25%
and he ain’t NEVER ALRIGHT by me.
chance PER ALLY
yeah. what consumed, sara. lifted a finger.
HE said.

you could
REALLY stack
a lot of
HIT POINTS
over time.

‘member that time \ FAILED my DEX and okay, guys. you LISTEN up and listen
slipped off that LEDGE? \ would’ve fallen GOOD, coz’ \’m only saying this ONCE.
253 feet onto JAGGED ROCKS but he
granted me a MULLIGAN. that was SWEET. there’s no WAY in hell \’m letting you
GALAVANT about the WILDERNESS purposely
yeah, well ODIN heh, one time ZELAUR pulled triggering RANDOM MONSTER ENCOUNTERS.
can BITE me. my BUTT out of a SLING when
\ HAD a \ got caught TRASHING the and toward what end -- so you can
character tied TEMPLE OF KAZAAR-FREEM. RUN into some GREVANS and take a
to THOSE apron DIVE so they’ll CAPTURE you?
strings once. and \ hardly
EVER attended sheesh -- you guys have taken POINT
NEVER AGAIN! SERVICES. WHORING to a whole NEW pathetic level.

KODT: SPECIAL EDITION#3 ——————————————————————— 17

 you’re like a bunch of
SQUIRRELS SCRAMBLING for
a WALNUT on a frickin’
FREEWAY, oblivious to TRAFFIC.
my gawd it’s SAD. the way you
FORGET about the task at HAND
and want to go RUNNING off to
gain some PERCEIVED advantage.
what THEN, brainiacs? huh? did you even THINK it through?
it just so happens \ read “A DWARF NAMED HORSE.”
it took HERK, what, THIRTY YEARS to climb up out of
SLAVERY and become ACCEPTED in GREVAN SOCIETY?
you wanna PISS away THIRTY YEARS of game time WASTIN’
away in a GREVAN SLAVE CAMP for SIX lousy HIT POINTS?

any idea how many hrrmmpphh. you really seem

LEVELS of experience DEAD SET against us doing he DOES
okay, so let’s say you could GAIN this. what’s your ANGLE, b.a.? seem to be
you managed to during that SAME time? BLOCKING.
FIND some grevans
and they take
you CAPTIVE.

okay that’s it. \ say we go \ mean it’s not like hey guys, \ haven’t even brought
find ourselves some GREVANS we’d have to PLAY it out. in my NEW character yet.
and get the ball rolling.

yeah, it’d be like waddya say you SWING by

yeah, besides that time our a town and hit the BAR
if some stinkin’ if we ALL get HACKNOIA so \ can BRING ‘im in.
NPC can do it in captured, b.a. characters got
THIRTY YEARS we would be FORCED sent to PRISON.
should be able to skip GAME TIME
ahead to keep the yeah, \ can do
to do it in TWO. those 15 HARD TIME in \ want IN on this.
campaign moving. years went by HACKNOIA
in a FLASH. standing
on my head.

actually this is very several minutes later...

-sigh- okay, okay, fine.
we’ll hit DERBIN TOWN
on the way north.
FORTUITOUS -- since
\ haven’t OFFICIALLY
brought in my character yet
\ can STILL rethink some of
my BUILDING POINT purchases
and RE-ADJUST them.
hey, check it out...
CHARTREUSE LOTUS now has
GREVAN HIGH and GREVAN
LOW as fluent secondary
and third languages.

\ was thinkin’ there may heh,

be some GREVAN BORDER heh... \ also took GREVAN
RAIDERS up along this CULTURE, GREVAN HISTORY,
GREVAN RELIGION,
side of the VARGAR.
good GREVAN ARTS AND CRAFTS,
idea. erase GREVAN CLASSICAL LITERATURE...
!
erase
!

le!
scribb !
le
scribb

18 ————————————————————— KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE®

 it’s like \ JUST rolled out of a frickin’
GREVAN HEADSTART PROGRAM. you guys will still be feeding SLOP
to the LIVESTOCK and shoveling
TRENCH-LATRINES while \’m
those BAD BOYS are gonna be IMPRESSED HOBNOBBING with GREVAN society.
as hell with me. my EXPRESS TICKET to
the UPPER ECHELONS of their society.
wouldn’t it have been
EASIER to just
damn, dude. can ROLL up a GREVAN?
you TEACH me a few \ don’t wanna
oh, you mean play no LAME-
great. the GREVAN PHRASES phrases like, yeah. ASS grevan.
BIG GUY while we’re “SUCKS TO BE ME”
already has wandering around? or “|’M A LOSER”?
the ADVANTAGE. \ just want
the PERK.
har!
har!!

okay folks -- what say ye? do we go

lookin’ for GREVANS or what? who’s in?

then the
are you kidding? you can COUNT me in. GAME’S afoot.

sorry, ZARUNDA is a PROUD BARBARIAN. she’d

that’s great. rather face DEATH than become a SLAVE.

what about but she’ll JOIN you in your search.

YOU, sara? she has NOTHING against whetting
you in? her blade with GREVAN BLOOD.

excellent.

okay, b.a. we’re gonna stock up on PROVISIONS.

and then we’re heading out. we’ll be

pushing NORTH toward the VARGAR RIVER BASIN. FINE! they
wanna PLAY that
game -- then
just think of this as a BREAK we’ll just PLAY
from the NORMAL rigors of GMING. that game.

we’ll even
no need to USE up your PREPARED
make a LOT
material. just ROLL us
of noise to
some RANDOM ENCOUNTERS
UP the ANTE.

KODT: SPECIAL EDITION#3 ——————————————————————— 19

Crossin’ the Vargar by jolly r. blackburn

several hours of aimlessly

“WANDERING ABOUT” later... it turns out to be nothing of import. just a pair of
SCYTHE-BACKED ROOT MUCKERS scrounging around for food.
okay, as you are
THRASHING around in
the THICKET you suddenly you STARTLE them with all the RACKET you’re making
ENCOUNTER something. and they DART off into the thick undergrowth LONG
before you are able to react or give chase.

c’mon, b.a. you this BLOWS. we’ve

damn! another holdin’ OUT on us? been wandering
NO-NOTHIN’ send some around in
encounter GREVANS our way. the STICKS
worth ZIP eps. for SIX DAYS.

!
roll
!
roll

oh, \ see...
so far we’ve got \’m inclined to agree with DAVE. \ think B.A. has
JACK to show for it. been NUDGING his ENCOUNTER ROLLS in HIS favor. so it’s
HARDBALL is it?
six BEARS, four
RACCOONS, nine
POSSUMS, a TREE that’s the way
what a DIRTY it’s gonna be?
TROLL, two PIXIE rotten trick. well that’s IT
GRELS, seven GREAT then. we ain’t
HORNED OWL BEARS... FINE! then
you mean he has NEVER gonna
let’s throw ‘im
us TRAMPIN’ run into any he’s
a CURVE BALL.
around BACK WOODS GREVANS if RIGHT
BUM-SQUAT he’s working brian.
for NOTHING? AGAINST us.

okay B.A. -- we UP the ante once again. we’re trust me. this’ll
crossin’ the VARGAR and heading further NORTH. FORCE b.a.’s HAND.
right into the HEART of GREVAN TERRITORY!!
no way he can
NOBODY goes into the DENY us a GREVAN
what do WE care? huh?
“LAND OF A THOUSAND ENCOUNTER when
S-S-SAY WHAT?? we ain’t goin’ in to FIGHT ‘em
CLANS.” not even we’re in the HEART
and WIN. we’re going in to
the KRANDANEERIAN ARMY. of GREVAN
you mean the get ourselves CAPTURED.
GREVAN STEPPES?? and they ain’t frickin’ TERRITORY.
a-a-are you INSANE? afraid of remember?
NOBODY.

20 ————————————————————— KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE®

 dude, yer a GENIUS!!

how come we didn’t you know, crossin’ that

THINK of that before? river could very much be
let’s DO it!! like crossing the RUBICON.

let’s CROSS if we HURRY we

the VARGAR!! there’ll be NO could be THICK
take-backs. in GREVANS
so... they by NIGHT FALL.
wanna FORCE
my hand.

good. then
it’s time
to CALL.

later on the GREVAN STEPPES...
as you TRUDGE across the low
GRASSY DIVIDE, the air is suddenly
PIERCED by a CRESCENDO of
WHOOPS and HOWLS!!
COUNTLESS shadowy
figures BURST forth
from the CAMOUFLAGED
pits they were HIDING in.
it is as if HELL itself
has opened its dark
MAW and unleashed
its WRATH
upon the PLAINS.
the STEPPES are suddenly ALIVE with swarms of GREVAN
WARRIORS rising up on ALL SIDES. some are MOUNTED
on stout WAR PONIES but MOST are on foot.
their frightful WAR CRIES and painted
FACES drive FEAR into your hearts
as they DESCEND upon you en masse.
careful
you wanted to run what you whoah!
HOLD up, b.a.
into some GREVANS? WISH
for guys.
uh oh.... \’m crying
well you JUST got yer wish
-- you’re facing about FOUL!!
FOUR THOUSAND of ‘em.

you know what?

according to the HACKLOPEDIA you’re ABSOLUTELY right, brian.

who said
OF BEASTS, the “NUMBER ANYTHING about
APPEARING” entry for the “number appearing” for
THIS being a
RANDOMLY ENCOUNTERING RANDOMLY encountered grevans IS 5d20.
“RANDOM”
grevans is only 5d20.
ENCOUNTER??
your RECALL is
\ suggest REMARKABLE. problem?
you TRY it really is.
rolling AGAIN. what would
there’s just ONE THAT be?
perhaps you
made a mistake. little PROBLEM.

KODT: SPECIAL EDITION#3 ——————————————————————— 21

 no WAY he
c’mon guys. it means had time to
we’re HOSED!! you ORGANIZED NOTHING guys. PREPARE
GAAAAA!!! what’s he aren’t we? this party. anything.
TALKING about, BRIAN? he’s BLUFFING.
he’s UP to looks like it’s he’s JUST trying besides,
huh? what does it mean?? something. time to DANCE! to RATTLE what does
our cages. it MATTER?

twenty grevans, a hundred,
he’s right.
FOUR THOUSAND! makes no diff.
nothing’s really
we MIX it up for a few rounds to make CHANGED. b.a.
it look good and THEN we surrender. is just playing
with our heads.
several rounds of
FIERCE FIGHTING later...
as you WAVE your flag of
SURRENDER the thunderous
war-chanting begins
to die down and fade.

that was the PLAN wasn’t it? an eerie SILENCE

\ hope so.
they make SLAVES out settles over the
of us and the REST is gravy. field of battle,
\’m just afraid
that “GRAVY” broken only by the
might have a occasional YIP
few LUMPS. of a WAR DAWG
or a nervous
pony’s neighing.

as you lie PANTING for breath in the TANGLE of it’s SUICIDE otherwise.
twisted DRIFT WOOD you’ve taken refuge in, you get
the UNSETTLING feeling that your FATE is being
debated somewhere among the GREVAN leadership. you don’t understand.

ZARUNDA’s code of
tense seconds seem like HOURS. BATTLE prevents her
from EVER surrendering
or giving up her SWORD.
finally a stern voice
in BROKEN HAGAAN hey! it’s working. they’re if that means she
yells out... ACKNOWLEDGING our flag. goes down FIGHTING, hey, it’s
then so be it. YOUR
funeral.
“you SCRUBS who HIDE well, \’m not
like women! throw out THROWING out might
your WEAPONS and my weapons. as well,
SHOW yourselves!” sara.

22 ————————————————————— KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE®

 b.a., ZARUNDA many rounds later...
c’mon sara. we were SUPPOSED
draws her sword
to be in this TOGETHER. nice attack, sara. as you RUN
and RUNS out to
ENGAGE the enemy. the GREVAN through with your
you’re breakin’ up the TEAM. blade he falls to his knees
and CRUMPLES at your feet.
it would seem
that TODAY is a sorry guys. ZARUNDA was a CHEER goes up
GOOD day to DIE!! known by MANY names in life... from the GREVAN
RANKS as a NEW
SLAVE wasn’t ONE of them. CHALLENGER
takes his place.

a few rounds later still...

good gawd, sara. you’re a KILLING MACHINE.
that’s the TWENTY-THIRD grevan you’ve taken out.
-sigh- looks like that’s
ZARUNDA is giving a good all she WROTE, folks.
damn! this is
ACCOUNTING of herself --
KILLING me. shrug off
that’s for sure. but she’s
the GUILT, that ABDOMINAL CRIT did me in.
it’s just not WEARING down. \’m afraid
bob. it was
KNUCKLE’s my FATIGUE FACTOR is
HER choice. \ just FAILED my
nature to IDLY about to DO me in.
sit by and THRESHOLD-OF-PAIN check.
watch a
COMRADE she can STILL ZARUNDA blacks out
go down. surrender if and drops to the ground.
she has a
mind to.

nicely PLAYED sara. KUDOS! hold up guys -- she’s not DEAD yet.

that was one of the KEWLEST

death’s \’ve ever been
PRIVILEGED to bear witness to. from your vantage point among the DRIFTWOOD
TANGLE you watch as a group of GREVAN
WARRIORS circle around the FALLEN barbarian’s
damn straight! body and begin to CHANT as they THUMP their chests
in HOMAGE to a GREAT and WORTHY adversary.
that was one ummm...
for the BARDS thanks, guys.
to sing about.

q
a SHAMAN is summoned and
what the
too bad you he IMMEDIATELY goes about
wow! forty-seven hell?
KILLS -- that was died. you TREATING ZARUNDA’s wounds
BETTER than the would have and STOPS the bleeding.
FINAL battle scene CLEANED up
in EXCALIBUR! on EPs

KODT: SPECIAL EDITION#3 ——————————————————————— 23

 sara, you are REVIVED. a GREVAN PONY is brought forth “go back to where you came,
and you are HOISTED up in the saddle and given the REINS. noble SHE-WARRIOR” he says.

“NEVER return here again! \ am

the crowd of GREVANS gathered about granting you a chance at LIFE. your
you suddenly PARTS and a LARGE chieftain demonstration of GREAT COURAGE
with PIERCING blue eyes steps forward. shone BRIGHTLY on the field of battle.”
ummm, they’re
he HANDS you your letting me go?
sword and points “where your COM-
toward the RIVER. RADES resigned to
COWARDICE
and SHAME, you
chose HONOR!”

“you are FREE “the BLADE was coated in SLOW-POISON. if you

to go. but first....” DESIRE to live you will have to DRAW on your
STRENGTH and COURAGE once more. you have THREE
DAYS to find the cure before its WORK is done.”
the CHIEFTAIN motions to
the SHAMAN who removes
a DAGGER from the FOLD \ only grant you the ‘CHANCE’ for life. well THIS was unexpected.
of his SKINS and RAKES it what the heck -- a SLIM
across your WRIST. you have SPILLED grevan-blood -- your FATE chance is better than NO
lies with the great gawd, WYANGNORE.” chance. \ THANK him.

the pain is
SEARING as
the blood
begins to
FLOW.

“do not INSULT GEEZE LOUEEZE!! actually, now that \ THINK about
me with your it, it makes PERFECT sense.
PLEASANTRIES!” he snaps. there’s some SERIOUS
“cousin-cards” being played here.
\ pay tribute to GREVAN SOCIETY is CENTERED
the WARRIOR around the WARRIOR CULTURE
not the PERSON.
she enters into a they LITERALLY base their
DEATH MATCH with PERCEPTION of their OWN
with THAT he slaps the frickin’ GREVANS greatness upon how
hindquarters of your and WALKS away? GREAT their enemies are.
PONY with the BUTT put a
of his CROSSBOW. SOCK
did that guy in it bob! it creates a
just call us
the animal really BIZARRE
COWARDS?
BOLTS dilemma for them
toward as a PEOPLE.
the river.

24 ————————————————————— KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE®

 on ONE HAND they are
so they have to practice a form of CONSERVATION.
compelled to CONSTANTLY
wage WAR against
you know -- just like BASS FISHERMEN
WORTHY ADVERSARIES!
have to set LIMITS and turn LOOSE the
occasional catch. it ENSURES there will
ALWAYS be a WORTHY ADVERSARY to fight.
on the other hand,
DOING so means
such FOES are whatever. \ just
\ suppose yer
a DIMINISHING want to get my PERK
right. let’s get
RESOURCE so \ can get out of
ON with it then.
this HELL HOLE.
after all, the
GREVANS are
very CAPABLE
warriors and
UNMATCHED on
the field
of battle.

okay, b.a., we TOSS out our weapons. wave our flag. YADA YADA!! sara, since you’re SEPARATED
from the PARTY \’ll
you know the ROUTINE. so what do we have to do to get things RESOLVE your situation later.
rolling? do \ need to make a ROLL on a TABLE or something?

how long is it going to hey if this doesn’t WORK out

\’m just gonna start KICKIN’ as for the REST
take to WIN their respect
ASS and go the SARA-ROUTE. of you, as soon
and get USHERED in as
as you THROW out
one of their own?
oh, it’ll WORK. your weapons you
trust me. are SURROUNDED.
not so fast, bob.
FIRST things first.

you are shoved ROUGHLY to the ground and PINNED DOWN with after you have been BOUND
spear points to your BACK as your ARMS and LEGS are BOUND. and TIED, the GREVANS busy
themselves with making
“HONORLESS SCRUBS!” one a fire and setting up camp.
of them barks as he SPITS
on y0ur PRONE bodies.
yeah, yeah, that’s GREAT
another KICKS el ravager
don’t let it can we DISPENSE with
hard in the ribs.
hey... there they GET to you dave. the DETAILS and just
go calling me a JUMP ahead? how
“COWARD!! you have the
COWARD again. SWALLOW yer pride. long does it take to WIN
AUDACITY to carry the
this is for their RESPECT?
WEAPONS of a WARRIOR
a GOOD CAUSE.
and yet you are
AFRAID to FIGHT? \’ll let you
KNOW when
the time comes.

KODT: SPECIAL EDITION#3 ——————————————————————— 25

 a wee bit later...
he’s a FRIGHTFUL FIGURE with WILD HAIR and a set of eyes to match.
as the GREVANS gather
ROUND you are quickly
dragged before the FIRE
and THROWN to the ground.
the SHAMAN once again
appears before you.
sorry guys. since you saw FIT to
give up your FREE WILL and deliver
yourselves into BONDAGE, \’m
afraid you’re just going to have
to SIT back and HEAR me out.
besides, you
should find
this VERY
entertaining.
he then moves to EL RAVAGER
and REPEATS the process.
SCREW THIS! \’m
OVERBEARING his ass
and RAMMING that
BRANDING IRON down
his FRICKIN’ throat!
sorry bob. you
are POWERLESS
to do anything.
this ain’t
RIGHT!
26 ————————————————————— KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE®
he is brandishing a SPIRIT RATTLE made of HUMAN SKIN which
he shakes over your heads. with his OTHER hand he sprinkles
a strange BLUE POWDER as he breaks into a RITUAL DANCE.
the CEREMONY continues can’t you just tell us how
for five to ten minutes as many YEARS we gotta BURN
the WARRIORS fill the OFF so we can SKIP ahead?
NIGHT with their WAR CHANT.
c’mon, b.a.
enough
with the
FLAVOR
TEXT
already.
once the SHAMAN is finished with his DANCE he
motions for a GREVAN standing nearby to come forward.
the large WARRIOR stoops down and draws a RED HOT
branding iron from the burning embers of the fire.
he then places his HEEL on KNUCKLE’S neck and
BRANDS his FOREHEAD with the MARK of a SLAVE.
GAAA!!! my
HOLY
COMELINESS!!
CRIT!
-gulp-
what the HELL??
okay, LOTUS’ is next. the WARRIOR
places his foot on your neck and...
FIRK!!!
whoah!
hold up.
 as he is ABOUT to brand oh my. well, that CERTAINLY got his attention
me \ SPEAK out as well as everyone else within EARSHOT.
in the GREVAN tongue...

\’ve got a 75 percent SKILL

RATING in GREVAN several GASPS of astonishment rise up as
CLASSICAL LITERATURE! the BRAND-WIELDING GREVAN steps back
and looks to the CHIEFTAIN for direction.
\’ll RECITE some-
thing WITTY and
APPROPRIATE for the CHIEFTAIN studies you for a oh yeah... teh heh.
the MOMENT. moment and then asks, “how is it
a SCRUB knows our TONGUE wad’ \ tell ya?
and the words of our WISEST?”
as \ recall, IN LIKE FLYNN!!
GREVANS
appreciate
HUMOR in the
face of GREAT
DANGER. so \
CRACK a joke.

\ explain that \ have the chieftain motions without hesitation the

always been for you to be SILENT. WARRIOR reaches down,
FASCINATED with grabs you by the HAIR
the GREATNESS and pulls back your
that is GREVAN. HEAD exposing your neck.
“be STILL your TONGUE!”
so much in fact, that
\ ALLOWED myself to
“you are UNWORTHY to the LAST thing you see
be CAPTURED so that
speak our LANGUAGE.” is the CANOPY of stars
\ might learn MORE
about their WAYS. in a GREVAN SKY as he
pulls a blade across
your ADAM’S APPLE.
\ point he then TURNS to the
out that as a warrior with the BRAND.
SLAVE \
would be a “SLIT the pig’s THROAT!
GREAT teacher he’s OBVIOUSLY a SPY
to their... sent by our ENEMIES to
GATHER information.”

the chieftain turns his “good! you will

attention to the REST of you. be taken BACK
to the VILLAGE
and turned
“what about over to the WOMEN.”
YOU two?” but... but...
-sputter-
“SPRECHEN “work HARD and you
SIE GREVAN?” may CLING to your
mommy! MISERABLE lives.”

“SHIRK
and you
DIE!”

KODT: SPECIAL EDITION#3 ——————————————————————— 27

 LATER THAT NIGHT...
okay, \ see how it is.

after being handed over to the WOMEN, you two are HA HA!!! very funny, b.a.
shown to the DoG PENS. you are told in BROKEN HAGAAN
that THIS is where you are expected to sleep and EAT. \ guess you MADE your point.

if you want FOOD \’ve had ENOUGH of this

you’ll have to FIGHT are you for real? NONSENSE. we’ll wait until
for some of the we gotta SLEEP DARK and slip over the fence
SCRAPS which are with the DOGS like and make good our ESCAPE.
TOSSED to the a couple of
DoGS each morning. stinkin’ ANIMALS??
maybe we can catch
say what? is up with ZARUNDA.
this a JOKE?

\’m afraid
it’s not
going to be
that EASY.

you’ll find there are SEVERAL your SLAVE MARKS effectively LATER STILL...
factors working against you. ERODE your WILL and make
it more DIFFICULT for you to act on sorry bob!
first off, the DOGS are TRAINED to your own INITIATIVE from FEAR of
ATTACK should you LEAVE the PEN being CAUGHT by your OPPRESSORS. a LODGE MATRON
unescorted. secondly, even spots you trying to
if you MANAGED to escape, any act of FREE WILL CROTCH the KNIFE
GREVANS are EXPERT TRACKERS. the you wish to make from the WASH BASIN.
STEPPES are their domain -- you would requires a SAVE.
be TRACKED down in short order.
she CRACKS you
eventually, you you were right across the head with
and THIRDLY, those might be able to bob. there a STIRRING STICK.
BRANDS on your BREAK the spell ARE lumps in
FOREHEADS are but it could take the GRAVY.
MAGICAL RUNES. they months or YEARS.
act as a
combined CHARM
PERSON-FEAR SPELL.

the VILLAGE GUARDS are summoned. when AFTER WEEKS OF CAPTIVITY...

they learn what you have ATTEMPTED, they tie
LEATHER straps around your WRISTS and the WAR PARTY drags you back to
STRETCH your arms across a table. the village behind their PONIES.

“so we have a THIEF, eh? ummmm, b.a., \’m puttin’ the WOMEN and CHILDREN pour out of their
this will TEACH you.” the FORK \ stole LODGES and gather round to throw STONES
BACK in the basin while and SPIT at you. your ESCAPE attempt
with that they nobody is LOOKING. really seems to have PISSED them off.
HACK OFF both
your THUMBS. before being TOSSED good effort,
back in the DOG PEN you boys. at least
are both HAMSTRUNG! you tried.

WHAT?!!

28 ————————————————————— KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE®

 okay, THAT’S IT!! \’m HOPPING mad. these \ RATTLE a STICK on
frickin’ bastards have RUINED my character. the FENCE of our
\ got NO THUMBS. \’m HAMSTRUNG. a PEN until someone
frickin’ SLAVE’S MARK on my FOREHEAD!! gee, that’s sad.
\ guess the LIFE of comes out and
being a slave wasn’t ACKNOWLEDGES
here here. this SUCKS. my DEMANDS.
\ DEMAND justice. \’d rather be DEAD than all the GLITZ and
\ ask the BASTARDS to to go on like this. GLAMOUR it was
give me a WEAPON. let CRACKED up to be.
frickin’ A!
me FIGHT to the death.
shut
up
sara.

“SILENCE, YOU!” FINE! then \’m SUICIDING my there’s

a very ANNOYED lodge
character. \ KICK one of the a plan.
matron comes out to
“ain’t nobody going WAR DOGS in the ass. if THAT
INVESTIGATE the noise.
to FIGHT a coward. doesn’t work \ throw some \ kick
there’s no HONOR in it.” DUNG at the LODGE MATRON. a DOG too!!
she EMPTIES
a CHAMBER
POT over
your HEADS.

ONE MAULING LATER...

oh man... -snicker- the CAMPAIGN
...several dogs play TUG-OF-WAR with the last JUICY SCRAP is TRASHED. but you know
of EL RAVAGER’S spine as the VILLAGERS roar with approval. what? \ don’t CARE. -cackle-
that was frickin’ HILARIOUS.
-sigh- and so
and thus closes the FINAL closes ANOTHER -snort-
CHAPTER of KNUCKLES THE campaign.
THIRD and EL RAVAGER. you made
it SO easy.

\ can’t WAIT to tell A WEE BIT LATER...

PETE and the gang when are you
how \... \ couldn’t HELP it, sara. going to
LEARN, cuz.
ummmm, guys?
it was like a CHRISTMAS
PRESENT all wrapped up it NEVER pays
is there a PROBLEM? to GLOAT.
with a PRETTY BOW.

they walked
guys...? RIGHT into it.

-FINIS-

KODT: SPECIAL EDITION#3 ——————————————————————— 29

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COLLECTION \’m MISSIN’
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A N EWBIE ’ S G UIDE TO

ased on the letters we’ve been receiving (as well as reports from accounting that sales continue to rise), it’s become very apparent that there

B are a LOT more of you reading this magazine than ever before. That means we have some fresh meat in the ranks. So if you’re reading this,
it’s quite likely this is the FIRST time you’ve ever seen a copy of KODT®. Welcome! You’re among friends here. Make yourself at home,
take off your shoes and kick back. Stay a while.
If this is your first time with us (or, if you just recently started reading KODT) you’re probably feeling a little lost. Jumping in on KNIGHTS
OF THE DINNER TABLE midstream is like tuning into a soap opera for the first time. The cast of characters can be intimidating to the Newbie and
trying to match names to faces is a bit daunting. One of the best ways to get up to snuff on KODT is to pick up a copy of TALES FROM THE
VAULT 1, 2, 3 or 4 or one of the ten BUNDLES OF TROUBLE (these are compilations of earlier strips and back issues). Not only are they great read-
ing but they include detailed bios for almost ALL the characters that have appeared in KODT over the years. Chances are you’ll find these books
at the very same place you found your first issue of KODT. If not, simply ask the friendly guy behind the counter if he can order them for you.
If that doesn’t work, then you can pick them up at www.kenzerco.com. In the meantime, the following information will help get you started.
We’ve included some abbreviated bios of the five primary characters along with some background notes.

WHO’S WHO IN THIS CRAZY RAG?

nights of the Dinner Table (KODT) began life as a poorly drawn, one page strip in the back of a gaming magazine (Way back in 1990). Okay, it’s STILL
K poorly drawn, but for whatever reason it’s managed to gather and hold onto an ever growing audience for nearly 13 years. The name of the comic is taken
from a gaming group comprised of five misfits that seem to enjoy each other’s company. (Though it’s not always apparent based on the way they behave toward
one another.) The ‘Knights’ are, and always have been, the central focus of KODT. So if you get to know them, you’re half way there to coming to understand
the series. Over the years other characters (and groups) have been added to the mix. At last count there were over FIFTY characters in the cast. Don’t worry
— you’ll get to know them in due time.

B.A. FELTON
B.A. is the group’s
GameMaster. He lives with
his mom and it’s his ‘Dinner
Table’ where most of the
action in the strips unfolds.
B.A. is a night manager at a
local 24 hour Pizza Shop.
Somehow he manages to pre-
pare and run an adventure for
the group week after week.
His players give him a tough
time. It’s a constant battle —
trying to win them over to his
style of role-playing.
BOB HERZOG
Bob was the first dues
paying member of the
group. He’s from the old
school of role-playing and
believes it’s all about break-
ing things and killing peo-
ple. He’s made the local
papers twice for getting lost
in the steam tunnels under
Ball State. He’s known to
excite easily and has a bit of
a temper, and everyone
knows not to touch his
dice.
DAVE BOZWELL
Dave claims to be a stu-
dent at BSU (though no
one has ever seen him crack
open a book). He was
introduced to role-playing
by Bob, who he met at a
local paintball tournament.
He’s a true blooded hack-n-
slasher who becomes bored
easily if the experience
points aren’t flowing. He
has a reputation for being
‘clueless’ at times.
SARAH FELTON
Sara is B.A.’s cousin. She
moved back to Muncie,
Indiana from Wisconsin a
few years ago and is the
newest member of the
group. Unfortunately, Sara
is also the only female in the
group and fights a lonely
battle to bring more role-
play and less hack-n-slash to
the group’s gaming sessions.
So far, it’s a losing battle.
Even so, Sara continues to
set the example and hope.
BRIAN VANHOOSE
Brian lives alone in the
house he inherited from his
parents (they died in a car
crash a few years ago). He
manages to make a modest
living operating a fee-based
gaming website and selling
painted miniatures. Brian
can’t remember his own
phone number but he can
recite entire passages of var-
ious rule books from mem-
ory. He’s the classic rules-
lawyer and is proud of it.

“SO WHAT DO THE LITTLE ICONS MEAN?”

FAN
SPUN KODT
KODT
FAN SPUN KODT strips are home-brewed
stories submitted by our readers. Sometimes
they appear as written. On other occasions,
ideas from several different readers are taken
and combined. Fans putting words into the
mouths of their favorite characters. What
could be more fun (or scary)?
RETRO KODT strips take place some-
where in the past (i.e. they are not part of
the current storyline.) Be aware that they
are NOT reprinted material but are NEW
and ORIGINAL stories. Retro strips are a
way of looking back and learning more
about the characters.
Q&A
KODT Q&A presents strips that have
been suggested by our readers. It may be a
request to see the Knights play a reader’s
favorite game or perhaps a reader wants to
know why a certain character never sits in
as GameMaster. Anything a reader wants
to ask is fair game here.
THE REST OF THE STORY revisits
stories told in past issues. Sometimes
they are prequels, other times they are
sequels. Or they may simply be spin-
offs that chase a thread that was never
pursued but looks promising.
PARTING
SHOTS
nce upon an evening dreary,
O while I pondered, weak and
weary,
Over many a quaint and curious vol-
ume of HackMaster lore--
While I nodded, nearly napping, sud-
denly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rap-
ping at my game room door.
"'Tis the players," I muttered, "tap-
ping at my game room door--
Only this and nothing more."
Ah, distinctly I remember it was in
the bleak December;
As I plotted to dismember PCs with
much blood and gore,
Eagerly I wished their sorrow; --not a
one would see the morrow,
From the Hacklopedia I’d borrowed
horrid beasts from days of yore,
Foul and vicious PC killers from the
brutal days of yore--
Ready now to go to war!
And the silken, sad, uncertain
rustling of each page, ‘twas certain
Thrilled me--filled me with fantastic
schemings never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my
heart, I stood repeating
"'Tis some hapless fool entreating
entrance to the dungeon door--
Some poor monkey-boy entreating
entrance to the dungeon door; --
This it is and nothing more."
Presently my soul grew stronger; hes-
itating then no longer,
"Sir," said I, "or Madam, truly your
forgiveness I implore;
But my module I’m recapping, and so
gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tap-
ping at my game room door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you" --
here I opened wide the door; --
Darkness there and nothing more.
Deep into that darkness peering, long
I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, scheming schemes no GM
ever dared to scheme before;
But the silence was unbroken, and
the stillness gave no token,
But the rattle of my broken dice bag
32 ————————————————————— KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE®
THE MUNCHKIN
With Apologies to Edgar Allen Poe
spilling on the floor,
Dice went spilling, spilling out, and
rolling on my chamber floor,
Merely this and nothing more.
Back into the chamber turning, for a
better dice bag yearning,
Soon again I heard a tapping some-
what louder than before.
"Surely," said I, "surely that is some-
thing at my window lattice
Let me see, then, what there at is, and
this mystery explore--
Cease collecting dice a moment and
this mystery explore; --
"'Tis the wind and nothing more!"
Open here I flung the shutter, When,
with many a grunt and mutter
In there stepped a portly Munchkin
who had crossed my path before,
Not the least obeisance made he; not
a minute stopped or stayed he;
But straight for my kitchen made he,
where he opened my fridge door--
Opened and commenced to ransack
my refrigerator door--
Grabbed some snacks, and nothing
more.
Then this blatant mooch beguiling
my sad fancy into smiling,
By the bald-faced way he dared to pil-
fer my small snack-food store,
"Though my fridge you’ve rudely
munched in, thou,” I said, “Are first
to punch in,”
Portly, antisocial Munchkin ready
now for games galore—
Tell me now thy class and level, for
the quest I’ll run hencefore!"
Quoth the Munchkin, "Nevermore."
Much I shuddered this ungainly nerd
to hear discourse so plainly,
Through a mouthful of Doritos—
spewing crumbs upon my floor;
For we cannot help agreeing that no
living human being
Ever jumped with joy on seeing
crumbs sprayed all across his floor--
Greasy corn-chip crumbs and spittle,
spread across the chamber floor,
By his muttered, "Nevermore."
But the Munchkin, stout and lonely
at the table’s end spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that
one word he did outpour.
Nothing farther then he uttered, as he
munched on popcorn buttered,
Till I scarcely more than muttered
"Other friends have flown before--
When the crits start, he will leave, as
pansy gamers have before."
Quoth the Munchkin, "Nevermore."
Startled at the stillness broken by
reply so aptly spoken,
"Doubtless," said I, "what he utters is
some clever scheme, I’m sure,
With this utterance as distraction, he
must plan some quick subtraction,
From my utter satisfaction at the PC
deaths in store--
He hopes to circumvent the awful
carnage that I have in store,
With 'Never--nevermore.'"
But the Munchkin still beguiling all
my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in
front of gamer, dice, and more;
While he upon my food was feeding,
I betook myself to reading
From his character, and heeding...all
his stats, 18 or more!
Every stat 18 or better, and skills, and
traits, and powers galore,
For his Grel named, “Nevermore.”
Thus I sat, all disbelieving, his wild
assertions of achieving
Perfect dice rolls, and receiving only
beneficial scores,
This and more I sat reviewing, with
the Munchkin still was spewing
Chewed-up chips upon the carpet
that lay on my game-room floor,
Spraying chips, and leaving grease
stains, on the carpet on the floor,
Which shall wash out nevermore!
Then the Munchkin did dissemble,
as the numbers made me tremble,
Hit point totals which resembled
phone numbers I’d seen before,
"Wretch," I cried, "Thy GM gave
thee stats so high? They will not save
thee!
For my module will enslave thee—lay
thee low in blood and gore!
Pick thy dice up, monkey-boy, for
Submitted by Ben Pierce
now thy character hits the floor!
Quoth the Munchkin, "Nevermore."
"Munchkin!" said I, "thing of evil!
Munchkin worse than Bitter Stevil!--
With thy fighter/battle mage whose
stats are all eighteen or more!
Powergamer, thus unwanted, still you
roll your dice undaunted,
Bragging of your stats much vaunted-
-tell me truly, I implore--
Will you ever play a balanced charac-
ter?--tell me, I implore!"
Quoth the Munchkin, "Nevermore."
"Munchkin!" said I, "thing of evil!
Munchkin worse than Bitter Stevil!
By Gary Jackson, by the Gawdfather
of Hack we both adore --
Can you sit there, still proclaiming
that you aren’t powergaming,
While your character is maiming
Dragons, Gawds, and beasts galore?
While you hack your way through
Hacklopedia Volumes One through
Four!?
Quoth the Munchkin, "Nevermore."
"Be that word our sign of parting,
Munchkin fiend!" I shrieked, upstart-
ing--
"Get thee back into thy car and get
thee gone, thou EP-whore!
Leave no d20 as a token of the game
whose rules you’ve broken!
Leave, and don’t you even think of
stopping at the fridge, you boor!
Take thy dice from off my table, and
take thy form from out my door!"
Quoth the Munchkin "Nevermore."
And the Munchkin, never cracking,
still is hacking, still is hacking,
On my hapless NPCs, until I scarce
can roll up more,
And his eyes are dark and gleaming
with the munchkin schemes he’s
scheming,
And the lamp-light o'er him stream-
ing throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow
that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted--nevermore! K