Transcript: “Listening Time” Episode 87

Welcome to the Listening Time podcast. Hey everybody, this is Conner, and
you're listening to Episode 87 of the Listening Time podcast. I hope you're all doing
well. I want to thank all of my members. I really appreciate all of your support. It's your
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Also, remember to follow me on Facebook because I post a lot of content on

Facebook now. So, the link to that is also in the Description. Alright, in today's episode,
we're going to talk about goals. So, I might have referenced this topic in other episodes
in the past, but at the time that I'm recording this episode, it's January 5, 2023, and so
the new year is still fresh in my mind, and this is something that is on a lot of people's
minds right now. I know that when you listen to this episode, it won't be the very
beginning of the year anymore. It will probably be the end of January, I think.

But this is still a relevant topic because a lot of people want to set goals for
themselves and achieve their goals, not just at the very beginning of every year, but at
any time. You can start di erent projects or set goals whenever. You don't have to wait
for January 1. So, I want to talk about this topic today. And I want to talk about speci c
mindsets when it comes to setting goals and achieving goals, and I think this will be an
interesting topic to talk about.

Remember that you have the transcript for this episode as well. That's in the
Episode Description. So, go down and click on that if you need it, and listen as many
times as you need until you can eventually understand everything that I'm saying
without using the transcript. And if you like this podcast, please give it a ve-star rating
and write a review, and share it with anyone else who might nd it useful. Alright, let's
get started.

Alright, let's talk about goals. So, what really inspired me to talk about this topic
today is not just the fact that it's the beginning of a new year and people make
resolutions. In English, we use the word "resolution" to talk about the goals that people
set each year, right? We call these "new year's resolutions."

So, it's not just that fact. It's also because I was listening to a podcast on
January 1. And the person in this podcast was talking about goals and was talking
about something very interesting that I hadn't really thought about too deeply, and I
wanted to talk about it here because I think it's very good advice.

And the advice that he gave was that there's a very big di erence in our minds
when we set a goal to try to do something, to try to achieve something that we want,
and actually deciding that we are going to do something. So, those might sound
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 similar, but they're not. One of them is saying that I don't know what the outcome will
be. In English, when we say the word "outcome," we're saying the result.

So, if you say that I'm going to try to do something in 2023, what you're saying
is, "I don't know what the outcome will be. I don't know if I'm going to succeed or fail,
but I'm going to try to accomplish that goal. I'm going to try to achieve that outcome."
So, that's di erent from telling yourself and making the decision in your mind that you
will achieve some outcome. So, in this second scenario, you're saying that you will
achieve this outcome, and you don't know how exactly you might do that. You don't
know how many times you need to try or how many di erent methods you need to try,
but you know that you will achieve a certain outcome.

So, one of them is not certain about what the outcome will be, and the other one
is certain. And so, if you make a goal for yourself, and you do it the rst way, you're not
really committing yourself to achieving that result. You're saying, "Alright, I'm going to
try this and hopefully it works." Right? In the second scenario, you are committing to a
goal. You're not saying, "I'm going to try something." You're saying, "Okay, this is the
outcome that I have decided. I am going to choose this result, and now I have to get to
that result."

And this actually works very di erently in your mind because you're not giving
yourself the opportunity to fail when you set a goal like that. You're actually just making
a decision. Right? It's kind of like saying, "Okay, tomorrow, I'm going to wake up at
7am," right? I'm deciding that. If I decide that in my mind, I'm going to do it no matter
what it takes. Even if I wake up and I'm really tired, and I feel like I didn't sleep very
well, if I've decided that I need to wake up at 7am, that's it. There's no debate. There's
no There's no opportunity for me to not do that. I just do it, right?

But if I tell myself, "Alright, I'm going to try to wake up pretty early tomorrow. I'm
going to try to do this," well, in my mind, I'm giving myself a way to not do that, right? If
I wake up at 7am the next morning, and I feel really tired, and I say, "Well, at least I
tried, but I'm gonna go back to bed," then I didn't achieve my goal. So, if you actually
decide on the outcome beforehand, then you are determining what the result needs to
be. There's no debate. In English, when we use the word beforehand, we're just saying:
before that thing. So, it's just like saying "before."

So, if you've already decided on the outcome beforehand, then it's simply a
decision that you've made. You're going to do it. You've already decided. You just have
to actually execute that plan, that decision. Right? So, this is a very important thing to
understand, because most people, when they make goals for themselves, they usually
don't decide on the outcome. They usually just want to do something, and they want to
try to do it. The goal really is to try, right? "I'm going to try to eat better this year."
Right? The goal that they've made for themselves is to try something, and if they fail,
oh, well.

In English, when we use the phrase, "oh, well," it's like saying something didn't
go as planned, but it's okay. We just say, "Oh, well." And so, that's the way that a lot of
people make New Year's resolutions, or that's the way a lot of people set goals for
themselves. And so that's not the most e ective way to actually do things and
accomplish things.

On the other hand, if you set goals for yourself, by deciding on the outcome,
you'll nd that it works very di erently in your brain. It's actually a very big di erence,
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 right? It's not just a small little detail. It actually creates a di erence in the way that your
brain thinks about this goal that you have because you're focused on the outcome, you
have an outcome in mind that you've decided on, and you're not focused on just
trying. You’re actually focused on the outcome.

So, let's think of some examples of how we can apply this. Let's use some
common new year's resolutions that a lot of people have. So, the rst one would be
reading more books. A lot of people have that goal in mind when they start a new year.
They want to read more. They know that this is a good habit. It's healthy for our brain,
and it's better than just watching TV and they want to learn things. So, they set this
goal for themselves. And they say something like, “I want to try to read more in 2023."
Well, if they say that, then they haven't decided on an outcome. They've just said that
they're going to try it, right?

But let's change that goal a little bit, and let's say that you create this goal for
yourself and you say, “I will read 10 books in 2023.” So, now you've decided on what
the outcome will be. So, the way that you might go about this is, instead of just trying
to nd the time every day, you're actually going to make the time. You have to use that
time for reading. Okay? And so, if you just try to read more one year, what you
probably do is you do all your tasks during the day you do everything else. And then at
the end of the day, if you have some time left over, then you might pick up a book and
start reading. But if you don't have any time left over, then you'll probably say, “Well, I
couldn't read today. I didn't have enough time, but that's okay, because I was doing
other important things. And I'll try to read again tomorrow.”

I'm sure you've done this at some point in your life, maybe not with books, but
maybe something else that you've wanted to accomplish. And so, this is very common,
and we're all guilty of this, I think. So, now let's say we actually make the goal and
decide on the outcome that you will read 10 books in 2023. Well, you can probably see
how much time it will take you to read that number of books, and you can say, “Alright,
it's going to take me 40 hours or 50 hours," or whatever it is. And then, you can divide
that by 365 because that's how many days there are in a year. And you can see, more
or less, how much time you need to read every day, how many minutes you need to
read.

And let's say you need to read 40 minutes every day, and this will allow you to
read 10 books next year. So, what you'll have to do is have this 40 minute time slot set
aside every day, and it is non-negotiable. In English, when we say that something is
“non-negotiable,” we’re saying that something needs to happen. There is no debate
about it. You can't not do it. It has to be done.

So, this is non-negotiable. And maybe you set a time for yourself. Maybe you
say 8pm. So, every single day at 8pm, it doesn't matter what you're doing, it doesn't
matter what other task you still haven't nished, you stop at 8pm. You maybe set an
alarm for yourself, and you know that when that alarm goes o , you need to stop
whatever you're doing, and then you start reading, and you read until 8:40pm.

And it's pretty simple, really. But the thing is, is that you have to commit to this
decision. So, it's very easy to say that you're going to read for 40 minutes that day, but
then you get really busy with other things, right? So, you're not really prioritizing this
task, and you're not committing to the decision. However, in your mind, if you commit
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to that decision, then it will be automatic. Every time your alarm goes o at 8pm, you
have to read for 40 minutes. You stop whatever you're doing, right?

And we do this for other things in our lives. For example, you go to work in the
morning, probably, or maybe you work from home, but you have to start work. You
can't just say, “Well, I don't really feel like working. I have other important things to do,
so I'll do that tomorrow.” Right? We normally don't do that when it comes to our work.
Right? Or the example I gave earlier about waking up in the morning… if you have to
work at 8am and you need to wake up at 7am, you can't just hear your alarm go o at
7am and say, “I have other important things to do. I don't want to wake up now. I'll try
again tomorrow.” Right? We're not supposed to do that. And we usually don't do that
with other tasks.

But we tend to do this with goals that we set for ourselves. We just try to do
them. We don't decide to do them, right? But every morning, you decide that you have
to wake up because you have to go to work. You have no choice. So, we want to do
the same thing with our other goals, like reading. You decide that you have to read.
There is no other option. There's nothing else you can do because you've already
made the decision. Right?

And let's use one other example: losing weight. A lot of people have this goal.
They have this as their New Year's resolution. And so, they usually say something like,
“I'm going to try to get in shape in 2023. I'm going to try to lose weight, and I'm going
to try to exercise and eat healthy food, and I'm going to try to be healthy overall.” So,
this is a goal that people set for themselves, and they tend to not achieve this goal, and
then they try again the next year, and then they try again next year. And you notice
there that the key word that I used is “try,” right? They just keep trying.

And don't get me wrong. I know that it's very hard to lose weight and to change
all of your habits. And for some people, even if they change their habits, it's still di cult
for them to get in shape. I understand that. So, don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to
criticize anyone because I know all of our bodies are completely di erent. And if you
have a problem losing weight, I completely understand. Don’t misinterpret what I'm
saying. I'm just trying to use this example for this little mental exercise.

So, let's say you've decided to get in shape or you've decided to lose weight the
next year. And you decide this. You say, “No matter what, I need to lose 20 pounds,”
right? Or “I need to lose 10 kilos next year.” And you decide that this is going to
happen. And then, maybe, you can do the same thing that you did with the reading
goal. You can take the amount of weight you want to lose and then divide that by 12
and say, “Okay, this is how much weight I need to lose every month,” for example. And
then, you have that target for that month. You've made that decision. So, every month
you need to lose 0.7 kilos, or something like that, right?

And so, instead of just trying to change your habits and do things di erently, you
have decided that this needs to happen. And whatever it takes, you're going to do it,
right? You can try all the di erent diets or try di erent techniques or restrict the amount
of calories that you consume or you can fast for many hours. In English, when we use
the verb “fast,” we’re saying that you don't eat. So, if I say, “I fast until 11am,” I'm
saying that I don't eat until 11am. So, maybe you fast for many hours. Maybe you hire
a trainer who's going to help you do this. But no matter what, you're going to do
whatever it takes. You’re going to try all of the di erent things as many times as you
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 need until you reach your target, because you've decided on the outcome. You're not
just trying. Right? So, this is another example of that.

And it can be hard to do this, because this can be something that causes a lot of
short term su ering because you have to really change your habits. You have to really
do things di erently. And it can feel very di cult, to be honest. But if you've decided on
that, then you're going to do it. Of course, there might be some external factors that
prevent you: if something really big happens or something really big changes in that
time, yeah, it's not 100%. But under normal circumstances, if you've decided to do it, if
you're not just going to try, if you've decided on the outcome, then it's going to
happen, right? You're going to nd a way because you have no choice. It's just like
what I said before with waking up and going to work. If you've decided that you have
no choice and you have to do that, you’ll nd a way to do it. Right?

So again, with this speci c example, it might not be quite as simple because our
bodies are di erent, and we have di erent issues with our metabolism, and di erent
things like that. But you get the point. This theory applies to most goals that we make,
even di cult goals, usually.

So, I hope that this was an interesting thing for you to think about. I hope that
this kind of makes you think about setting goals di erently. And I hope that this
episode was interesting for you, and I hope that it was good practice for your listening.
Remember that you have the transcript available below the episode in the Episode
Description. So, click on that if you need it.

And if you want my advanced episodes, then you can sign up to become a
Listening Time Family Member or VIP, and you'll get two new advanced episodes every
month. And if you want to ask me questions regarding English, then become a
Listening Time VIP, and I'll answer your questions in a weekly Q&A session.

And don't forget to follow me on Facebook. I'm posting a lot of content there.
So, follow me on Facebook. The link is in the Episode Description as well. And if you
like this podcast, please give it a ve-star rating and leave a review and share it with
anyone else who might nd it useful. Alright, thank you for listening to this episode, and
I'll talk to you on the next episode of Listening Time.

*Click on this link to access my Q&A Sessions, Advanced Podcast Episodes, Bonus
Episodes, and Listening Practice Seminars: www.patreon.com/listeningtime
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