14 .

the fine art of small talk

holiday open house hosted by an important client. The

client greets you, takes your coat, visits for a minute, and
shows you to the food. Your client departs to greet an-
other guest, and you are left standing next to the shrimp
cocktail, not knowing a single person in the room. If you
wait for the host to come back and properly introduce
you to some of the other guests, chances are your only
new encounter will be with the shrimp.
Times have changed. People expect you to mingle on
your own, introduce yourself, and take the initiative to
get acquainted. As Babe Ruth said, “Don’t let the fear of
striking out get in your way.” Remember, even your clos-
est confidante was once a stranger. Take the risk. Walk up
to someone and introduce yourself. Extend your hand,
make eye contact, and smile saying, “Hello. My name is
Deb Fine. It’s nice to meet you.” If you are a member of
an association, chamber of commerce, fraternity or soror-
ity, church or synagogue, you are probably aware of these
organizations’ constant challenge of retaining member-
ship. We join such organizations seeking out fellowship;
we often leave or quit because we don’t find it. Instead,
we perceive others as members of groups or cliques that
won’t let us join.
 get over your mom’s good intentions . 15

I think most of us can relate to the following poem,

author unknown:

Thoughts from a New Member

I see you at the meetings,

but you never say hello.

You’re busy all the time you’re there

with those you really know.

I sit among the members,

yet I’m a lonely gal.

The new ones feel as strange as I;

the old ones pass us by.

Darn it, you folks urged us to join

and talked of fellowship,

You could just cross the room, you know,

but you never make the trip.

Can’t you just nod your head and smile

or stop and shake a hand,