Defender

What’s in This Profile?
What’s in This Profile?

This profile is designed to cover all the main aspects of Defenders’ personality as it
affects different areas of their life, including Defenders’ key strengths and
weaknesses, relationships, academic path, career and professional development, as
well as their communication and social skills, parenting tips and advice, and much,
much more. It combines personality type theory with practical, real-world advice
from others who share the Defender personality type.
Personality type has been the focus of many discussions, some of them dating back
to ancient times. It’s wise to draw from this source of knowledge and experience,
especially when unsure of how to handle a specific situation. This kind of knowledge
offers the power to control and understand oneself. As Aristotle said millennia ago,
“The hardest victory is the victory over self.” Consider this profile a plan for success.
“The Defender” (ISFJ, -A/-T) 1

Table of Contents
Table of Contents
What’s in This Profile? ........................................................................................................ 1
Table of Contents ............................................................................................................... 2
The Puzzle of Personality .................................................................................................. 5
Five Personality Aspects ................................................................................................ 9
Mind: Introverted (I) vs. Extraverted (E) .................................................................... 9
Energy: Intuitive (N) vs. Observant (S) .................................................................... 12
Nature: Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F) .......................................................................... 15
Tactics: Judging (J) vs. Prospecting (P) ..................................................................... 17
Identity: Assertive (-A) vs. Turbulent (-T) ................................................................. 20
Type Groups .................................................................................................................. 21
Roles........................................................................................................................... 22
Strategies ................................................................................................................... 30
Who Is “The Defender?” ................................................................................................... 39
Personal Growth .............................................................................................................. 43
Motivation and Development ..................................................................................... 44
Self-Esteem ................................................................................................................ 46
Self-Respect ............................................................................................................... 50
Self-Confidence ......................................................................................................... 54
Self-Evolution ............................................................................................................ 58
Self-Responsibility..................................................................................................... 61

Table of Contents
Conclusion..................................................................................................................... 67
Romantic Relationships ................................................................................................... 69
Potential Role Pairings ................................................................................................. 74
Defender–Analyst Relationships ............................................................................. 75
Defender–Diplomat Relationships .......................................................................... 82
Defender–Sentinel Relationships ............................................................................ 88
Defender–Explorer Relationships ........................................................................... 94
Conclusion..................................................................................................................... 99
Friendships ..................................................................................................................... 101
Defenders and Friends of Other Types .................................................................... 103
Defender–Analyst Friendships .............................................................................. 104
Defender–Diplomat Friendships ........................................................................... 108
Defender–Sentinel Friendships ............................................................................. 113
Defender–Explorer Friendships ............................................................................ 118
Conclusion................................................................................................................... 122
Parenthood ..................................................................................................................... 124
Parenting for Each Stage of Development ............................................................... 128
Building Bonds (Birth–1½ Years) ........................................................................... 129
Testing Boundaries (1½–3 Years) .......................................................................... 132
Thirst for Knowledge (3–5 Years) .......................................................................... 135
Creating Competence (5–12 Years) ....................................................................... 138
Finding Thyself (12–18 Years) ................................................................................ 140

Table of Contents
Conclusion................................................................................................................... 143
Academic Path ................................................................................................................ 145
How Defenders Learn ................................................................................................ 145
Defenders in High School .......................................................................................... 151
Work or College?......................................................................................................... 158
Defenders in College .................................................................................................. 163
Lifelong Learning ........................................................................................................ 167
Conclusion................................................................................................................... 171
Professional Development ............................................................................................ 172
Jobs and Skill Sets ....................................................................................................... 178
Challenging Career Qualities ................................................................................. 181
Career Alternatives ................................................................................................. 183
Workplace Cooperation Between Roles ................................................................... 186
Defender–Analyst Cooperation ............................................................................. 187
Defender–Diplomat Cooperation ......................................................................... 191
Defender–Sentinel Cooperation ........................................................................... 196
Defender–Explorer Cooperation ........................................................................... 200
Conclusion................................................................................................................... 204
Final Words ..................................................................................................................... 205

The Puzzle of Personality
When they receive their personality test results on our website, most people’s first
question is, “What do these letters mean?” We are of course referring to those
mysterious acronyms – INTJ-A, for example, or ENFP-T. As you may have already
learned from the type descriptions or articles on the website, the five letters of these
acronyms each refer to a specific trait, with certain trait combinations forming
various types and type groups. But before we discuss those traits in depth, let’s
explore their historical foundations.
Since the dawn of time, humans have drawn up schematics to describe and
categorize our personalities. From the four temperaments of the ancient civilizations
to the latest advances in psychology, we have been driven to fit the variables and
complexities of human personality into well-defined models. Although we are still
some time away from being able to do that, the current models account for our most
important personality traits and can predict our behavior with a high degree of
accuracy.

Personality is just one of many factors that guide our behavior, however. Our actions
are also influenced by our environment, our experiences, and our individual goals.
This profile describes how people belonging to a specific personality type are likely to
behave. We will outline indicators and tendencies, however, not definitive guidelines
or answers. Significant differences can exist even among people who share a
personality type. The information in this profile is meant to inspire personal growth
and an improved understanding of yourself and your relationships – not to be taken
as gospel.
Our approach has its roots in two different philosophies. One dates back to the early
20th century and was the brainchild of Carl Gustav Jung, the father of analytical
psychology. Jung’s theory of psychological types is perhaps the most influential
creation in personality typology, and it has inspired many different theories. One of
Jung’s key contributions was the development of the concept of Introversion and
Extraversion – he theorized that each of us falls into one of these two categories,
either focusing on the internal world (Introvert) or the outside world (Extravert).
Besides Introversion and Extraversion, Jung coined the concept of so-called cognitive
functions, separated into Judging or Perceiving categories. According to Jung, each
person prefers one of these cognitive functions and may most naturally rely on it in
everyday situations.
In the 1920s, Jung’s theory was noticed by Katharine Cook Briggs, who later co-
authored one of the most popular personality indicators used today, the Myers-
Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI®). Briggs was a teacher with an avid interest in
personality typing, having developed her own type theory before learning of Jung’s
writings. Together with her daughter, Isabel Briggs Myers, they developed a

convenient way to describe the order of each person’s Jungian preferences – this is
how four-letter acronyms were born.
Of course, this is just a very simplified description of the Myers-Briggs theory.
Readers interested in learning more should read Gifts Differing: Understanding
Personality Type by Isabel Briggs Myers. As we define personality traits and types
differently in our model, we will not go deeper into Jungian concepts or related
theories in this profile.
Due to its simplicity and ease of use, the four-letter naming model is now shared by
a number of diverse theories and approaches, including Socionics, Keirsey
Temperament Sorter®, and Linda Berens’ Interaction Styles, among many others.
While the acronyms used by these theories may be identical or very similar, however,
their meanings do not always overlap. As a result, if you meet five people who say, “I
am an INFJ,” their understanding of what that means may vary significantly.
Regardless of its structure, any type-based theory will struggle to describe or
characterize people whose scores lie near the dividing line. A different way to look at
personalities is through the lens of a trait-based rather than a type-based model.
What do we mean by that? Instead of creating an arbitrary number of categories and
attempting to fit people within them, a trait-based model simply studies the degree
to which people exhibit certain traits.
You may have heard the term Ambivert, which is a perfect example in this case.
Ambiversion means that someone falls in the middle of the Introversion-Extraversion
scale, being neither too outgoing nor too withdrawn. Trait-based theories would
simply say that an Ambivert is moderately Extraverted or moderately Introverted and
leave it at that, without assigning a personality type.

A trait-based approach makes it easier to reliably measure correlations between
personality traits and other characteristics – for example, political attitudes. This is
why trait-based approaches dominate psychometric research, but that’s more or less
the only area where these approaches are dominant. Because they don’t offer types
or categorizations, trait-based theories don’t translate as well as type-based theories
into specific recommendations and takeaways. Assigned categories such as Extravert
or Introvert may be limiting, but they allow us to conceptualize human personality
and create theories about why we do what we do – something that a more
scientifically reliable but colorless statement, such as you are 37% Extraverted,
simply cannot do.
With our model, we’ve combined the best of both worlds. We use the acronym format
introduced by Myers-Briggs for its simplicity and convenience, with an extra letter to
accommodate five rather than four scales. However, unlike Myers-Briggs or other
theories based on the Jungian model, we have not incorporated Jungian concepts
such as cognitive functions, or their prioritization. Jungian concepts are very difficult
to measure and evaluate scientifically, so we’ve instead chosen to rework and
rebalance the dimensions of personality called the Big Five personality traits, a model
that is very popular in psychological and social research.
Our personality types are based on five independent spectrums, with all letters in
the type code (e.g. INFJ-A) referring to one of the two sides of the corresponding
spectrum. We’ll talk more about these concepts in the next chapter. This approach
has allowed us to achieve high test accuracy while also retaining the ability to define
and describe distinct personality types.
During the last few years, we have conducted more than 800 studies to uncover
trends and correlations between personality traits and various behaviors. Many of

these studies will be referenced in this profile, and additional information can be
found in our Academy. Our goal is to give you access to our sources without
repeating ourselves or overwhelming you with information. If you are particularly
interested in a specific study or its statistical characteristics, please feel free to
contact us via our website, and we will do our best to provide additional information.
With that aside, let’s dig deeper into the five personality aspects!
Five Personality Aspects
Mind: Introverted (I) vs. Extraverted (E)
The distinction between Introverts and Extraverts may be the oldest notion in the
history of personality theories. It has long been observed that some people are
expressive and outgoing, while others are reserved, quiet, and more comfortable
alone. The first group recharges by engaging with the external world and
communicating with other people, whereas members of the second group are
energized by spending time alone and connecting with their own inner world.
We focus on these differences in our first scale, which we call Mind. This scale – which
is based on a person’s level of expressiveness and the degree to which he or she
seeks external stimulation – determines how we see and approach the outside world,
including people, objects, and activities. This scale correlates with a number of other
personality traits, such as willingness to volunteer, desire to engage in thrill-seeking
activities, and romantic assertiveness, to name just a few.

On one side of this scale, we have
Introverted individuals (the I letter in
the type acronym). You might
associate Introversion with being
private or withdrawn – or even
clumsy or antisocial – but our studies
show a far more complex picture.
Generally speaking, Introverts do
not seek or require much external stimulation. As you might expect, an Introvert
requires less communication with others than an Extravert would, but an Introvert’s
preference for less stimulation can also influence his or her hobbies, political
attitudes, and even eating or drinking habits. To give a practical example, our studies
have found that Introverts are less likely than Extraverts to enjoy coffee and energy
drinks.
But what about Extraverts?
Compared with Introverts,
Extraverts are more interested in
engaging with the people, objects,
and environment around them. This
preference manifests itself in many
ways: Extraverts are less sensitive
than Introverts to noise, for example,
and they are likelier to wear bright and colorful clothes. Extraverts not only tolerate
external stimuli, however; they actually need these stimuli in order to support their
own energy.

Extraverts are often energetic and willing to take the lead, especially in social
situations. They enjoy pushing themselves to the limit and challenging themselves
and those around them. Unlike Introverts, who are more cautious in their approach,
Extraverts are likely to feel that they can handle life’s challenges without much
forethought. Whether that turns out to be true depends on many other
circumstances, but overall, Extraverts tend to be more proactive in experiencing –
and embracing – the world around them.
Worldwide, the three most Extraverted countries are Oman (61.66%), Yemen
(59.44%), and Saudi Arabia (58.95%). The most Introverted countries are Japan
(59.88%), Lithuania (55.85%), and Portugal (54.25%). In the United States, New York
(50.92%), Mississippi (50.87%), and Illinois (50.64%) top the list for Extraverts, while
West Virginia (53.62%), Alaska (53.6%), and Maine (53.41%) report the highest
percentages of Introverts. Interestingly, if the District of Columbia were included in
the comparisons, it would easily top the Extraverted list. In our study, the average
Extraversion score for the capital city’s 23,310 respondents was 53.06% – significantly
above New York, its closest competitor.
For types with the Introverted trait, socializing depletes internal energy reserves
quickly, and when that happens they want to return to their home base to recharge.
Defenders are Introverted: usually self-sufficient, more at home with ideas than
people, comfortable with a few close friends, and minimally involved in what’s
happening around them.
These aren’t black-and-white, unchangeable traits, but typical consequences of their
personality type. For instance, Defenders can hone their social skills and become
experts in negotiation or small talk, but they would develop these skills out of
necessity, not because they find them natural or exciting.

Energy: Intuitive (N) vs. Observant (S)
Energy is the second scale in our model, and in our opinion it is the most important.
While the other four scales determine how you interact with the world (Mind), make
decisions (Nature), schedule your activities (Tactics), or react to external feedback
(Identity), the Energy scale actually determines how you see the world and what kind
of information you focus on.
All personality types can be divided into those that favor the Intuitive energy style
and those that favor the Observant energy style. Intuitive individuals tend to be
visionary, interested in ideas and abstractions, and attracted to novelty. Observant
individuals, on the other hand, prefer facts, concrete and observable things, and the
tried and true.
It is important to stress that this
scale has nothing to do with how we
absorb information: Intuitive and
Observant types use their five
senses equally well. Instead, this
scale shows whether we focus on
what is possible (making
connections intuitively) or what is
real (observing the environment). If you are familiar with the Big Five personality traits,
you might recognize this scale as a reworking of the openness to experience concept,
with a focus on preference for (and tolerance of) novelty and ambiguity.
Individuals with the Intuitive trait rely on their imaginations and think in terms of
ideas and possibilities. They dream, fantasize, and question why things happen the

way they do, always feeling slightly detached from the actual, concrete world.
Although they observe other people and events, their minds remain directed both
inwards and somewhere beyond – always questioning, wondering, and making
connections. When all is said and done, Intuitive types believe in novelty, in the open
mind, and in never-ending improvement.
In one of our studies, we asked people whether they wish they had been born in the
Age of Discovery (roughly speaking, the 15th through the 18th centuries). Our results
showed that Intuitive types were much more willing to give up the convenience,
comfort, and predictability of modern life in exchange for the excitement of
exploration, distant civilizations, and the undiscovered mysteries of the New World.
In contrast, individuals with the
Observant trait focus on the actual
world and things happening around
them. Preferring to see, touch, feel,
and experience, they are happy to
leave theories and possibilities to
others. They keep their feet on the
ground and focus on the present,
instead of wondering why or when something might happen. Consequently, people
with this trait tend to be better at dealing with facts, tools, and concrete objects as
opposed to brainstorming, theorizing about future events, or handling abstract
theories. Observant types are also significantly better at focusing on just one thing
at a time instead of juggling multiple activities.
The Energy scale influences communication style as well. Intuitive individuals talk
about ideas and have no difficulties with allusions or reading between the lines, while

Observant types focus on facts and practical matters. This is why Intuitive types may
find it challenging to understand someone with the Observant trait, and vice versa.
Intuitive types may think that Observant individuals are materialistic, unimaginative,
and simplistic, and Observant types may see their Intuitive conversation partner as
impractical, naïve, and absent-minded. These assumptions and biases can be quite
damaging, and it takes a mature person to get past them.
Geographically, the Middle East and Asia have the largest percentage of Observant
individuals, with 8 countries in the top 10 list. Saudi Arabia (71.94%), Oman (71.03%),
and Yemen (69.76%) have the top scores among Observant countries, while Nepal
(48.92%), Albania (48.51%) and Maldives (48.44%) top the Intuitive table.
In the United States, North Dakota (59.43%), Minnesota (59.23%), and Iowa (59.04%)
are the most Observant states. On the opposite side of the table, we have Nevada
(43.92%), Rhode Island (43.75%), and West Virginia (43.47%).
People with the Observant personality trait, like Defenders, spend most of their time
focusing outward, observing concrete details about their surroundings. They excel at
remembering various details, noticing discrepancies and maintaining a grounded
perspective. Defenders aren’t that concerned about what might happen or why it
happened – they focus on what is happening. Defenders keep improving these skills
throughout their lives, which makes them diligent, keen-eyed observers.
This trait is also one of the reasons why Defenders find partners easily: many traits
shared by people with the Observant trait, such as reliability, meticulousness and
desire for security, are often considered attractive.
The Observant trait comes with drawbacks: with their mental resources directed
outward, Defenders may struggle to make sense of their intuition. A preference for

concrete facts can make dealing with abstract, theoretical matters, or jumping from
one idea to another difficult. Keeping up with the facts comes naturally to Defenders,
but the same can’t be said for brainstorming possibilities.
Nature: Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F)
The third scale, which we call Nature, determines how we make decisions and cope
with emotions. While we all have feelings, there are significant differences in how
different types react to them. This scale influences a number of areas of our lives,
particularly our interactions with other people.
People with the Thinking trait seek
logic and rational arguments, relying
on their head rather than their heart.
They do their best to safeguard,
manage, and conceal their emotions.
“Whatever happens, you must
always keep a cool head” – this is the
motto of Thinking individuals. These
types are not cold-blooded or indifferent, however. People with the Thinking trait are
often just as emotional as those with the Feeling trait, but they subdue or override
their feelings with their rational logic.
In several of our studies, we analyzed the attitudes of different personality types
toward philanthropy and charitable causes. Thinking types are significantly less likely
to engage in charitable giving or to be touched by charities’ emotional appeals. Does
this mean that they are unwilling to help? Not necessarily. It turns out that Thinking
personalities don’t believe that giving money to charity is the best way to make a

difference. They may look for other ways to be of assistance – for example, investing
in education for the disadvantaged.
In contrast, people with the Feeling trait follow their hearts and care little about
hiding their emotions. From their perspective, we should not be afraid to listen to
our innermost feelings and share them with the world. These individuals tend to be
compassionate, sensitive, and highly emotional. They would rather cooperate than
compete, although they are not naïve or easily swayed.
In fact, people with the Feeling trait
are likely to fight tooth and nail for
their values and beliefs. For many
Feeling types, principles and ideals
are much more important than, say,
professional success. Although this
perspective might not seem rational,
Feeling types generally adhere to
their own highly individualized – and perfectly valid – logic.
Worldwide, Iran (51.91%), Georgia (50.74%), and Albania (48.94%) report highest
scores on the Thinking side of the scale. On the Feeling side, we have Singapore
(61.41%), Australia (60.1%), and New Zealand (59.98%).
In the U.S., northern states tend to be slightly more Feeling, but not significantly so.
One interesting example is the contrast between Utah and Nevada: two neighboring
states that are each first on opposite sides of the scale. In Utah, the average score is
61.19% on the Feeling side, well above Minnesota (59.61%) and Idaho (59.54%), which
take second and third place, respectively. Nevada, on the other hand, is the most

Thinker-heavy state in our study, with its 34,576 respondents getting an average
score of 42.99% on the Thinking side of the spectrum. While that still means Feeling
personality types outnumber Thinking types significantly, we rarely see such
differences between neighboring regions. Other top Thinking states include
Delaware (42.71%) and New Mexico (42.7%).
Defenders have the Feeling trait – they trust and prioritize feelings, rely on moral and
ethical arguments, and do everything they can to stay true to their deeply held
principles. People with this personality type are kind and sensitive, and they find
something positive in every circumstance.
Individuals with the Feeling trait, like Defenders, are capable of amazing feats,
especially in fields related to morality, philosophy or diplomacy. However, the same
trait can sometimes make it difficult for them to accept or ignore other people’s
actions, especially those driven by egoism and self-interest, pushing Defenders away
from much of the population.
Tactics: Judging (J) vs. Prospecting (P)
The Tactics scale determines how we approach planning and how we handle
available options. The implications reach well beyond our calendars, however. At its
core, this scale determines our attitudes toward certainty and structure in our lives.
People with the Judging trait do not like to keep their options open. They would rather
prepare five different contingency plans than wait for challenges to arise. These
individuals enjoy clarity and closure, always sticking to the plan rather than going
with the flow. It’s as if Judging types keep a mental checklist, and once a decision is

crossed off that list, it is not open to reassessment. This mentality applies as much
to grocery shopping as it does to life goals, like buying a house.
Individuals with the Judging trait
tend to have a strong work ethic,
putting their duties and
responsibilities above all else. Our
research indicates that Judging types
are also strict when it comes to law
and order. Of course, this doesn’t
mean that Prospecting individuals
are lawbreakers, but if you see someone go out of his or her way to use a crosswalk,
that person is likely a Judging type.
In contrast, Prospecting individuals are flexible and relaxed when it comes to dealing
with both expected and unexpected challenges. They are always scanning for
opportunities and options, willing to jump at a moment’s notice. People with this trait
understand that life is full of possibilities, and they are reluctant to commit to
something that might prove an inferior option in the future. They also focus more on
what makes them happy than what their parents, employers, or teachers expect. If a
specific task is not particularly
important or interesting, a
Prospecting individual will always
come up with something better to
do.
Looking at the geographical data,
the global Judging-Prospecting chart

has interesting similarities with the Extraverted-Introverted one. While these scales
do not influence each other from a statistical perspective, many of the countries
topping the Extraverted-Introverted charts have correspondingly high Judging-
Prospecting scores. At the top of the Judging table we have Oman (58.05%), Yemen
(57.78%), and Kuwait (55.8%), while the most Prospecting countries are Japan
(55.21%), Nepal (53.74%), and Lithuania (53.62%).
The map of the United States, however, does not show significant overlaps between
these two scales. On the Judging side of the spectrum, we have South Carolina
(51.05%), Alabama (50.97%), and Tennessee (50.8%). On the other side, the most
Prospecting states are Alaska (51.2%), Vermont (50.86%), and West Virginia (50.76%).
Defenders are Judging types – they’re decisive, choose security over freedom to
improvise, and avoid uncertainty through decision-making. True to their name,
Defenders are masters at logistics and execution. This makes them excellent
administrators, both able and willing to dedicate time for managing complex
operations.
People with this personality trait, like Defenders, are more interested in the practical
side of work than the theoretical. They tend to avoid developing grand plans like
some other types do. Rather than dreaming big only to accomplish little, these types
work at a small, achievable scale.

Identity: Assertive (-A) vs. Turbulent (-T)
The last scale, Identity, affects all others, reflecting how confident we are in our
abilities and decisions. In a way, this scale acts as an internal sensor, reacting to the
input we get from our environments – for instance, success or failure, feedback from
others, or pressure caused by unexpected events. The Mind and Identity scales are
the alpha and the omega of our model, acting as an external shell that we wear in all
of our interactions with the outside world. Later, we will discuss the four possible
combinations of these traits, which we call “Strategies,” but in the meantime, let’s
take an in-depth look at the Identity
scale.
Assertive individuals are self-
assured, even-tempered, and
resistant to stress. They refuse to
worry too much, and they don’t push
themselves too hard when it comes
to achieving goals. Similarly, they are
unlikely to spend much time
thinking about past actions or choices. According to Assertive types, what’s done is
done and there is little point in analyzing it. Not surprisingly, people with this trait are
generally satisfied with their lives, and they feel confident in their ability to handle
challenging and unexpected situations.
In contrast, Turbulent individuals are self-conscious and sensitive to stress. They
experience a wide range of emotions and tend to be success-driven, perfectionistic,
and eager to improve. Always feeling the need to do more, have more, and be more,

Turbulent types may forget how
exhausting this dissatisfaction can
be – both for themselves and for the
people around them.
While the Assertive variant may
seem more positive on the surface,
that is not necessarily the case.
Turbulent individuals are more
willing than Assertive types to change jobs if they feel stuck in their current roles, and
they think deeply about the direction of their lives. Turbulent individuals may also
outperform Assertive types in certain instances, because they may care more about
the outcome. The willingness of Turbulent types to push themselves may ultimately
enable them to achieve their goals.
Worldwide, Japan is by far the most Turbulent country, with an average score of 57.48%
on the Turbulent side. Italy (53.8%) and Brunei (52.89%) come in second and third,
respectively. On the Assertive side of the spectrum, we have Uganda (57.91%),
Barbados (57.11%), and Nigeria (57.01%).
In the United States, there is a clear east-west divide, with the East Coast being
significantly more Turbulent. West Virginia (49.3%) takes the lead on the Turbulent
side, followed by Rhode Island (48.84%) and Maine (48.73%). The most Assertive
states are New Mexico (54.7%), Colorado (54.66%), and Hawaii (54.28%).
Type Groups
Now you know what each type consists of. But how do they fit together?

Our system has two layers: the first (inner) one defines our Roles, the second (outer)
one, our Strategies.
Roles
The Role layer determines our goals, interests, and preferred activities. Each of the
four Roles covers a set of personality types that are very similar, and we will use these
groups later in this profile to draw contrasts and similarities between personalities.
They also serve to highlight the importance we have placed on the Energy trait. Each
personality type will share either the Observant or the Intuitive trait with all other
members of their group, as well as one other key trait. Defenders belong to the
Sentinel Role group, along with three other personality types: Logisticians, Executives,
and Consuls.
Analysts
Shared traits: Intuitive and Thinking
The personality types in the Analyst Role – Architects, Logicians, Commanders, and
Debaters – embrace rationality, excelling in intellectual and technological pursuits.
The Thinking trait makes Analysts exacting, and the Intuitive trait lets them apply
their minds to almost anything, with their imaginations aiding calculated, strategic
thinking, or seeing just how far the rabbit hole goes with a crazy scheme or thought
experiment.
These personalities are driven to understand and create, and have no problem
switching between speculative musing and frank, solutions-oriented approaches to
whatever problems are at hand. Broad, intelligent vision gives Analysts an ingenious

air, but they can become overwhelmed and scattered if they don’t learn to hone
these abilities and use them to advance a worthwhile cause or project.
The biggest pitfall is that their intellect can give them a false sense of accomplishment.
They tend to prefer the world of ideas to the sober reality of follow-through, and by
assuming the role of critic instead of participant, Analysts sometimes risk being
functionally outpaced by those who simply sit down and do the work. They can earn
themselves the unsavory title of “armchair analysts” while those with more real-world
experience continue to create real results. Analyst personality types can lack a proper
respect for those of simpler vision and expression, whatever their background, and
it can hold them back.
Analysts value their intellect above all else, and it can be a challenge convincing them
it’s worth checking their many hypotheses with an experiment or proper evidence to
be sure. To many Analysts, if something makes sense in their minds, that’s as good
as proved, and a great deal faster. Analysts can be brilliant, but they’re still human;
under the influence of ego, these personality types can get in the habit of advancing
clever opinions instead of objective facts.
Analysts’ positive self-identity stems largely from their formidable drive to learn, and
their clever and sharply witty banter can make them excellent debate partners. Often
insatiable readers as well, Analysts can be found stockpiling books, questioning
teachers, and driving conversations in forums across the world wide web. These
types prefer their own processes and pace, and are energized by exercising their
minds on their own time.
Analysts are also relentless self-improvers. Once they’ve recognized a flaw, they
apply all of this cold rationality, honest reflection, imagination, and desire for results

to make it right. Analysts’ forceful, imaginative vision, when trained and focused,
enables these personalities to conceive and accomplish things most thought
impossible.
Diplomats
Shared traits: Intuitive and Feeling
Diplomats – Advocates, Mediators, Protagonists, and Campaigners – tend to be warm,
caring, and generous individuals, shining in diplomacy and counselling. These
personality types promote cooperation and harmony, tolerating discord only as a
step towards positive change. Their perceptive abilities seemingly go deeper than the
traditional senses – it’s as if they have a full set of tuning forks in their hearts that can
resonate with people’s emotional states, and this empathetic sensitivity creates deep
connections with others.
This is not as mystical as it can seem. Diplomat personalities deeply value
understanding, and a lifetime of self-reflection grants them insights into others’
motivations that they might not even understand themselves. Diplomats can use this
to shape the way others feel, but it would be out of character for them to use this for
ill.
Diplomats’ people skills nurture friendship and healing with pure, genuine empathy.
Causing distress feels to them like wounding their own psyche, so they prefer to
gently nudge loved ones and strangers alike in a positive direction. Diplomats find
the ideals of humanism rewarding: kindness, understanding, altruism, and growth
warm them like a bonfire on a chilly autumn day. These personality types envision a
prismatic, kind world.

The Intuitive trait plays a big part in this optimism, but it also makes Diplomats
sensitive to injustices that would jeopardize that ideal world. They can be aggressive
against forces they perceive as evil, and are capable of steely action when they feel
they have moral high ground. Diplomats’ sensitive emotions may flare to outright
combativeness if provoked; with self-righteous momentum and weighty ideals, these
personality types can steamroll others. If they let inspiration trump rationality
unchecked, they can sometimes go too far, damaging the very causes they hold dear,
however justified the outrage.
Tempering this passion with cold practicality is a challenge for Diplomats. They are
often reluctant to make and carry out tough decisions or plans lacking in empathy,
and often struggle with carrying out a plan at all. They find greater satisfaction in
abstract self-exploration and understanding the issues that affect those least able to
defend themselves than mundane accomplishments and day-to-day tasks.
Diplomats emphasize experience and understanding rather than calculable
achievement.
Among friends and family, Diplomat personalities can range from quietly caring to
brightly gregarious, so long as they can pursue the mutual exchange of thoughts and
feelings they value so highly. But they can overextend themselves in this more
personal aspect of their lives as well – emotionally, physically, or even financially.
Diplomats’ open hearts make them vulnerable when others aren’t as considerate,
though they wouldn’t have it any other way. Someone must trust first, and they will
almost always be the volunteer.
Diplomats embrace travel as readily as anyone – they like exploring other cultures
and people’s colorful ways. These personality types are creatively inclined, often
practicing artistic expression in diverse forms, and see magical beauty where others

see the hum-drum of daily life. For a group with such progressive attitudes, they also
appreciate seeing things as they are, a pure expression of a way of thinking and being.
Diplomats can be passionately inspired by experiences: music, cuisine, theater,
nature, and anything else that goes beyond the obvious can rise to divine art in their
eyes.
Like a gardener planting in fertile earth, Diplomats seed the world around them with
progressive change and gentle beauty. Diplomats feel connected to forces they may
not fully understand, a deep sense of faith that may express itself, if not always
through traditional religion, as spiritual belief. Diplomats pursue things with an
underlying idealism and a sense of higher purpose; activism, spirituality, healing, the
arts, and charity are common interests for these personalities. They have a conviction
to serve a greater good, motivated by intangible rewards felt in the heart and soul.
Sentinels
Shared traits: Observant and Judging
Sentinels – Logisticians, Defenders, Executives, and Consuls – are cooperative and
practical. Their grounded approach helps them feel comfortable with who they are,
defining themselves not by individualism, but by character and competence. These
personality types seek order, security, and stability, and tend to work hard to
maintain the way of things, leading to a deserved reputation as the core of any group
or organization, from family to church to the office and the factory floor.
These types embrace teamwork, but expect the same performance and
respectability from others that they strive for themselves. Sentinels often dislike
strident nonconformity because they envision progress through collaboration and
hard work within a known set of rules – to let everyone do their own thing on a whim

would be anarchy. Sentinels prefer proven methods and honest accomplishment to
self-indulgent exploration and esoteric ideas. Because these personalities are deeply
prudent, they also tend to be self-motivated, and rarely need external inspiration to
be productive.
Their grounded perspective leaves little room for random musings, but Sentinels are
not unimaginative. They experiment for anticipated gain rather than intellectual
thrills, and excel in making challenging situations work. Revolution does not appeal
to people from this Role, who tend to learn from the past and remain loyal to the
tested truths and traditions they were brought up with. Where some see fascinating
philosophy, Sentinels may see preposterousness: these personality types favor
practiced methodology over abstract theory.
Having authority allows Sentinels to practice their virtues. Effective in leadership
roles, these types motivate others by energetic example and feel satisfaction from
guiding a well-functioning group – they tend to make excellent teachers, managers,
and community officials, as well as parents and hosts. These personalities are
meticulous and traditional, excelling in logistical and administrative fields with clear
hierarchies and rules as well. Opting for successful completion whenever they can,
Sentinels can be controlling, but gladly compromise when needed to get things done.
Sentinels feel rewarded by shepherding others, and enjoy coordinating and sharing
fun social experiences with friends and family. They believe it is their responsibility
to give their families safe, happy lives that prepare them for the real world. An
appreciation of strong relationships allows them to share generously with those they
respect and love – these types feel bolstered by having reliable people in their lives,
and will do what they can to make sure they hold up their end of the bargain.

Birthdays, dinner parties, and camping trips are delightful events under their
enthusiastic direction.
These personality types are happiest without drama, though their admirably
stubborn loyalty can certainly attract it if they feel they need to stand by a friend,
regardless of whether they’re in the right or wrong. Inconsistent people can test
Sentinels’ tolerance and provoke harsh judgement. Sentinels tend to prefer
predictability over novelty and familiar pleasures more than cutting-edge excitement.
It can be difficult for Sentinel personalities to accept people who lack their studious
ideals, but they often respond as engaged and caring mentors to those who wish to
grow in that direction.
Explorers
Shared traits: Observant and Prospecting
Explorers – Virtuosos, Adventurers, Entrepreneurs, and Entertainers – possess a self-
reliant mix of enthusiasm, quick thinking, and ingenuity that can lead to impressive
personal and professional accomplishments. Comfortable with uncertainty and
minimally concerned with preparation, these personality types simply adapt and
overcome as events present themselves. Explorers’ flexibility helps them make snap
decisions in the moment, and they’re unlikely to dwell on the future or the past.
They aren’t obsessed with precise detail (unless they’re really in the zone, in which
case they can muster a level of precision and focus that would make a seasoned
engineer blush). Usually, they require workability rather than perfection. Explorer
personalities are utilitarian masters of diverse tools and techniques, ranging from
instruments and engines to the art of persuasion, and they distinguish themselves in
crises, crafts, and sales.

This versatile decisiveness doesn’t mean commitment, however. Explorers can
change their minds with minimal regret or second-guessing. People in this Role
dislike monotony, and often feel tempted to stray from obligations in favor of
entertaining new things. They experiment with many interests and live and breathe
whatever they connect with – for a time. If these personality types sometimes leave
business unfinished, let clutter build up, or misplace important things, it’s because
they’ve moved on to something fresh.
Explorers enjoy being free of obligations, where they can indulge themselves or their
interests on their own time. An Explorer might design and build their own dream
house, enthralled with the process, but end up procrastinating on simple repairs
after a few years. They are highly motivated when steering themselves through
something interesting, but don’t like being restrained by anything “mandatory.”
Their relaxed, free-form attitude makes Explorer personalities socially dynamic as
well. They often seek out people and experiences that cater to their senses, finding
more pleasure in stimulation than planning. They happily approach appealing
strangers and interesting experiences, and when things get in the way of a good time,
they apply their ingenuity to getting around it. Explorers want to see what happens
next!
The same themes run through their friendships and families, though these
relationships have much more staying power than most other interests. Rather than
forcing relationships into or out of existence though, Explorers let things flow
naturally according to their desires. Compatible people simply become a part of their
lives. These personality types tend to be individualistic and freedom-loving, going
their own way with little regard for naysayers, but they do enjoy knowing that the
people they trust will be around in the end.

Explorers are highly spontaneous, connecting with and adapting to their
environment in a way that is almost childlike in its wonder and sheer fun. It can be a
challenge for them to work for things with a distant or unexciting payoff, as they need
a sense of immediacy to feel truly engaged, but when they are passionate, Explorer
personalities can move heaven and earth.
Strategies
The Strategy layer reflects our preferred ways of doing things and achieving our goals.
There are four strategies: Confident Individualism, People Mastery, Constant
Improvement, and Social Engagement. Depending on their type variant, Defenders
fall under either Confident Individualism (Assertive Defenders) or Constant
Improvement (Turbulent Defenders).
Confident Individualism
Shared traits: Introverted and Assertive
Confident Individualists typically trust in themselves, and they often embrace
solitude to pursue their own interests rather than seeking out social activity.
Fascinated by personal projects, people following this Strategy often have an
impressive range of skills and interesting ideas. But projects are usually only pursued
for their own merit – Confident Individualists tend to feel that social displays and
bragging are time and energy wasted. These personality types are proud of who they
are, what they know, and what they can do, but they don’t feel the need to prove
themselves to others.
Confident Individualists engage their internal inspiration instead of searching for
motivation outside themselves. They favor privacy, and aren’t particularly fond of

interacting with society, whether in a strictly social sense or when embracing broader
societal goals. These personalities often favor substance over superficiality and
personal honesty over playing along, and prefer a utilitarian approach, even when
pursuing esoteric goals.
This utilitarianism also means that Confident Individualists are not easily drawn into
emotional drama. They hold their own opinions firmly, but tend to see little reason
to try to convince others. When drama does arise, these personality types express
their truth with little concern over whether they’ll cause friction or offense. Confident
Individualists tend to endorse self-reliance over cooperation, and are rarely
pressured into agreeing with or lending support to others unless they believe in the
cause.
This relaxed self-assurance means that Confident Individualists may not push their
boundaries. Their live-and-let-live attitude goes both ways: they don’t need to
convince others, and they tend to expect others to return the favor. While highly
capable, they can miss information and opportunities that challenge their views
because they simply don’t place much importance on factoring in others’ approval.
They can be tolerant in disagreement though, respecting others’ individualism just
as they respect their own.
When these personality types form friendships, they tend to be strong and honest.
Because these types don’t feel like they need other people’s approval, their loyalty
and affection is a deliberate expression of affection. Impressing a Confident
Individualist earns their respect and care, and these types make for dedicated,
passionate friends.

Self-reliance is central for these types, and they handle difficult situations well
because they tend to be emotionally secure, bold, and resistant to stress. They rarely
seek leadership or the spotlight, but when they do find themselves in these positions,
these personalities lead by an example of self-determination and uncomplicated
honesty – they appreciate grace, class, and form, and rarely seek to impress by
appearances alone. When acting with knowledge and wisdom, Confident
Individualists can be noble pillars of strength.
People Mastery
Shared traits: Extraverted and Assertive
People Masters are highly stress-resistant, maintaining confidence through life’s
challenges, social pressures, and any questions of their capabilities. These
personality types seek social contact and have solid communication skills, feeling at
ease when relying on or directing other people. People Masters’ mantra is fearless
engagement – to be is to do. This is not a group known for its timid opinions or
idleness.
People Masters feel rewarded by stimulation and challenging experiences. They like
travelling to see things, people, and places, where they can experience a richer
understanding of the world around them. These personalities like sampling new
foods, lifestyles, and cultures; even things they don’t end up liking can be entertaining
excitement for them.
Sometimes, though, People Masters are too confident. Insulated against self-doubt
and the need to prove themselves, they don’t always test, or even consider, their own
limits or ambitions. They can slip into a pattern of endless fun and comfort-seeking,
rolling their eyes at those who press themselves towards more intimidating goals. At

the other end of the spectrum, these personality types can just as easily ignore
sensible caution, putting themselves in extraordinary and dangerous situations,
confident they can find their way through.
Most fall somewhere in the middle, embracing healthy ambition and competition so
long as they play a meaningful part in social circles and leadership. Social interaction
plays a big part in People Masters’ happiness. While not dependent on people’s
approval for emotional security, they appreciate acclaim for their accomplishments
and bright personalities, and can be a touch showy from time to time. These types
are self-confident, but they are often lost without people to lead, laugh with, and love.
Their charisma, self-assurance and boisterousness can sometimes be trying qualities.
People Masters prefer cooperation, but have few qualms about dominating their
opposition to achieve their goals, boldly promoting themselves and using their social
skills to get ahead. This Strategy understands people’s needs, but can just as easily
use this as a weapon rather than a tool of compassion if they have their sights set on
something big.
People Masters can compromise when needed, but these personality types tend to
be better talkers than listeners. They can be very demanding, criticizing people’s
performance regardless of their feelings because they expect no less of themselves.
That said, these types are moderate in their disagreements because their ego and
confidence aren’t at stake the way they often are for Turbulent Strategies. People
Masters are not fond of grudges, content to let bygones be bygones. They are more
likely to be socially idealistic, with the intent of bringing people together to make
things happen – petty grievances just get in the way.

People Masters’ charismatic virtues shine in social contexts, and these types have
little fear of rejection and a passion for inclusion. They prefer to take the lead, but
sharing the journey through other people’s eyes enhances their own enjoyment as
well. People Masters share in all aspects of people’s lives, making these personalities
strong, honest friends, parents, spouses, and colleagues, serving as wellsprings of
energy, joy, and mutual success.
Constant Improvement
Shared traits: Introverted and Turbulent
Constant Improvers are sensitive and contemplative individuals who enjoy having
their own space and freedom. They are often deep and creative individuals, though
often tense and more comfortable on their own than mixed up in the judgment of
the real world. With the two personality traits most representative of a sensitivity to
their environment – Introversion and Turbulence – they are reserved when dealing
with strangers or new situations, often turning inwards or focusing on peacekeeping
instead.
These personalities’ caution in the face of unfamiliar challenges can sometimes look
like a lack of motivation, but this is usually just self-doubt – Constant Improvers have
a strong drive, but it comes paired with a strong fear of failure. They invest a great
deal of their identity in their successes, and even a minor misstep or embarrassment
can be crushing.
The vigilance learned from a lifetime of ups and downs gives these personality types
a knack for sensing trouble. This is a strategic wariness that can be quite useful in
situations that need to balance risk and reward, whether a financial investment or a
romantic opportunity. Though they can seem frustratingly over-cautious to others,

Constant Improvers would rather not face calamity, so they excel at avoiding it with
preventive insights.
Since they aren’t always comfortable with energetic exchanges with other people,
Constant Improvers often direct their attention elsewhere, striving to master hobbies,
careers, bodies of knowledge, or new means of self-expression. Their restless drive,
self-doubt, and solitary mentality can combine to create impressive, beautiful results.
High-achieving and perfectionistic, Constant Improvers generally try to do their best
in their endeavors, dedicating tremendous time and energy. These personalities can
put so much pressure on themselves that they diminish their own impressive
accomplishments by fixating on the slightest flaws or dismissing successes as luck
rather than skill or dedication.
Taken too far, this perfectionism can also drive endless rumination – an unhealthy
obsession with perfection will reveal flaws in the best plans, and Constant Improvers
often feel forced to abandon a course of action because something doesn’t line up
right. Whether working feverishly or picking at the threads of an idea though,
Constant Improvers can be intense about their goals, and progress towards internal
balance can lead them to amazing personal accomplishments.
Alongside their personal efforts, these personality types also care a great deal what
others think of them. This can be very useful, but they can take this to a fault: fixating
on others’ expectations can sour social efforts into awkwardness. Constant
Improvers are easily thrown off-balance by conflict, and may communicate timidly,
or not at all, for fear of hurting people’s feelings, provoking a confrontation, or
looking the fool.

Sometimes it takes peer approval and active encouragement for this Strategy group
to recognize their own virtues. These personalities often benefit from friends and
colleagues patient enough to get to know them and who give them a chance to speak
their minds. When treated considerately, these types become devoted partners and
begin to reveal their kindness, insights, heartfelt support, and the complexities of
their approach to the world, from sometimes (oddly specific) plans for obscure
situations to starry-eyed ambitions.
Social Engagement
Shared traits: Extraverted and Turbulent
Those with the Social Engagement Strategy are an interesting group. In some ways,
Extraversion and Turbulence conflict with each other: Extraversion leads to risk-
tolerance and boldness; Turbulence reflects self-doubt and sensitivity. Turbulence
also contributes to impulsivity, which Extraversion makes highly visible. This means
Social Engagers tend to do what comes naturally first and think about it later. In this
way, they are almost an exaggeration of their underlying personality types. This isn’t
a bad thing.
Social Engagers enthusiastically engage the external world, not content to live in their
minds, drawing emotional security from positive interactions. In business and among
loved ones, these types are usually the center of attention. Social Engagers meet the
needs of the crowd in social settings, but they sometimes hide their true selves to
impress other people. They appreciate social status, and often portray themselves
as the person they aspire to – usually a purer form of their personality type – in order
to achieve it.

Social Engagers often experience stunning highs and lows as their Extraversion
pushes their Turbulent need for success into overdrive and their Turbulence creates
an immediate sense of regret, warranted or not. These personality types can be
surprisingly competitive, measuring themselves against peers and hoping others
notice their accomplishments, then retreat, suddenly becoming averse to conflict,
leading them to apologize for or avoid confrontations – even those that ended in
beneficial discussions.
These personalities may falter occasionally in their self-confidence, but ultimately
they are driven to improve and achieve. At the end of the day, they have no trouble
blowing off some steam and enjoying a much-needed break, either. Social Engagers
enthusiastically pursue stimulating and exciting experiences, especially with a group
of friends. They much prefer to dive into an experience than to sit down for a
reserved evaluation, though many will naturally regret their hot-headed lack of
planning down the road.
This push and pull between ambition and alarm, impulse and caution, highs and lows
can itself be quite stressful, but it’s all part of this Strategy’s charm. These personality
types are often restless in pursuit of their goals to improve their circumstances, but
show their passion by indulging their desires through some earned fun (and maybe
shopping for something impressive). Social Engagers work hard at their personal and
professional development, striving to meet all manner of stringent standards, but
they lead dynamic lives as well, filled with companionship, sharing adventures and
accomplishments with others whenever possible. Whatever direction they pull, they
are sure to pull the crowd with them.
While the Strategies are important, this series of e-books simply doesn’t have the
space to explore them properly. For now, we’ll focus on the inner core: The four Roles.

Look to future updates to the series and our Academy to see this aspect explored
more fully.

Who Is “The Defender?”
Throughout this book, we’ll discuss how Defenders’ traits manifest themselves into
this complete personality type. The interactions between these traits result in a
unique set of behaviors we’ll examine in terms of their effects on personal growth,
relationships, and academic and professional development. The following
paragraphs are a brief overview of Defenders’ personality type, and each section is
explored in much greater detail in subsequent chapters.
Personal Growth
Defenders looking for like minds need not search for long – at thirteen percent of the
population (depending on the region), Defenders outnumber most other personality
types. As Sentinels defined in large part by the Judging trait, Defenders have an
affinity for order and integrity, but these principles, no matter how dearly held, are
tempered with mercy and kindness. Earnest yet patient, they believe that morality
isn’t to be enforced, but instilled.
Defenders are guided by the notion that happiness comes from harmony, and
disarray breeds discontent. Their cooperative spirit is so strong that even the

friendliest competition may strike them as a waste of energy and an invitation to
discord. According to our research, Defenders are far less likely than other Sentinels
to believe that competition is always good, as well as significantly less likely than
other types overall.
For Defenders, good deeds are their own reward. Rather than concerning themselves
with high-minded ideals that may never come to pass, they focus on what they can
do today to better the lives of those around them. And while Defenders have no
grand plan in mind when they’re performing these minor miracles each day, the sum
of such labors is a mighty force, slowly but surely shaping the world into a better
version of itself.
If Defenders have a weakness, it might be that they’re too strong, giving when they
should be taking and staying silent when they should speak up for themselves. They
gladly take on the burdens of others, and others are often too glad to give them. This
is an unbalanced situation that typically leads to frazzled Defenders desperately
trying to do everything for everyone until they simply burn out. Furthermore, though
Defenders don’t seek out acclaim, they genuinely appreciate recognition for a job
well done. They’re deeply hurt when their work goes unnoticed, as it so often does
due to their unwillingness to trumpet their contributions.
Friends, Family, and Relationships
Despite their Introverted nature, Defenders are highly community-minded people,
and nothing is of more importance to them than ensuring that their relationships
remain healthy and strong. Whether in their families, their friendships, or their
professional lives, they spend much of their time quietly working to foster a peaceful,
harmonious environment. For Defenders, life isn’t about huge, earth-shaking events,

but the happy little moments each day brings: sharing a smile with a stranger on the
bus, passing around a “Get Well Soon” card for a sick coworker, or surprising an aging
relative with a homemade meal. Individually, these moments may not amount to
much, but over time, Defenders prove themselves to be some of the kindest and
most devoted friends, family members, and romantic partners to be found.
All that Defenders ask is that their kindness is repaid with gentleness, and their
devotion repaid with loyalty. Unfortunately, their friendly, trusting nature can make
them vulnerable to those who would exploit their goodwill. Even those who don’t
bear malice toward them may begin to take advantage of Defenders’ willingness to
set everything in their own lives aside if someone should need their help. Those with
the Defender personality type must be careful to take care of their own needs as well
as caring for those of everyone else.
For Defenders, a little bit of love goes a long way. These types don’t expect to be
showered with praise – and indeed, putting them in the spotlight might only
embarrass them. However, they tend to warmly receive and dearly remember small
gestures of appreciation.
Academic and Professional Development
While some go to college or into the workforce with the idea of pursuing one career
to the exclusion of all others – their so-called “dream job” – Defenders tend to have
more modest goals, often simply “going where they’re needed.” They might choose
a career based on recommendations from friends and family, preferring jobs that
emphasize stability, security, and predictability over riskier but potentially more
lucrative or exciting opportunities. Diligent students and industrious workers,

Defenders consistently prove that persistence and hard work can eventually be
rewarded.
Many of them are drawn to humanitarian, service-oriented careers in education,
health care, or non-profit work. Just as often, however, Defenders find fulfillment in
retail, hospitality, or food service. Whether they’re teaching a child to read or listing
the lunch specials on today’s menu, they connect with people in ways that transform
even the most ordinary tasks into satisfying, endlessly repeatable experiences,
seeing routine as a comfort rather than a burden.
Since they tend to keep the concerns of their company or organization at the
forefront of their minds, there are those who have no reservations about relying on
Defenders’ steady work to get ahead, yet who refuse to share the credit for their
success. Defenders may not be overly concerned about who gets the glory, but
neither should they allow others to benefit from their hard work without at least
being paid the proper recognition. Learning to quietly assert their own significant
contributions isn’t easy, but Defenders who don’t try may see their labors tragically
overlooked, time and time again.
On That Note…
This introduction has provided only a brief outline of Defenders’ potential strengths
and weaknesses. As with any personality type, a brief overview alone is insufficient
to provide truly useful information. In the following chapters, we’ll discuss these
areas in much greater detail and provide further information, as well as suggestions
and resources for improvement. Understanding one’s personality type is incredibly
valuable, and we hope that the following information proves useful.

Personal Growth
Personal Growth
Strength in Stability
Everyone has gifts and strengths, and for Defenders, personal growth involves
strengthening the gifts that make them who they are. Honing their practical skills and
creating stability get them up in the morning and define their growth throughout
their days.
These types are most likely to experience growth when they discover ways to add
structure to their lives and the lives of those they care about. This usually comes
through hard work, attention to everyday details, and meeting obligations. When
these contributions are kept in perspective, they prove valuable to their families,
jobs, and communities, and their strengths provide Defenders with a robust and
satisfying sense of self.
Growth Through Challenges
However, nobody is perfect. Everybody has a little yin with their yang – a little
weakness with their strengths. Personal development also involves addressing what

Personal Growth
blocks fulfillment and finding ways to compensate for weaknesses. For Defenders,
finding balance against their tendency to overwork themselves – or their occasionally
too rigid attitude – may come into play.
Learning to manage weaknesses is just as valuable as learning to develop strengths.
Dealing with weakness often provides an opportunity to learn some of life’s great
lessons. To make it all work, Defenders may first need to develop flexibility and self-
compassion. Recognizing and accepting any flaws they find in themselves can lead
to opportunities to address these weaknesses, potentially leading to growth, change,
and improvement.
Motivation and Development

There are five core motivating factors that drive Defenders’ personal growth. These
motivating factors involve Defenders seeing themselves in a particular manner or
being a certain person.
For example, if they value being honest, they can value themselves more when they
consistently tell the truth and approach life with a high measure of sincerity. If they
feel they’re floundering in the life, they may begin to speak the truth in an
unnecessarily stark and brutal manner in a misguided (and sometimes not even
conscious) attempt to emphasize that they’re honest people. This exaggerated
honesty may temporarily allow them to feel valued or righteous, but it’s likely to lead
them to an undesirable place in the end. Being “unbalanced” usually involves relying
on traits and values in an extreme fashion. Normally commendable traits are
unbalanced just because they’re applied too generously, and consequently, things go
off-kilter.

Personal Growth
Defenders can consider personal growth in five closely related, but distinct, areas.
The first three relate to the internal development of self-regard, and the latter two
are more about tactics to engage more fulfilling lives.
Motivation
• Self-esteem speaks to how much Defenders value themselves; their
perception of their worthiness. Accepting both their flaws and strengths
creates a base of internal appreciation that enables change motivated by
desire instead of shame.
• Self-respect speaks to how much they like themselves. When they live their
beliefs and values, a balanced sense of pride in who they are follows.
• Self-confidence is the energy source that moves Defenders forward in life.
When belief in their abilities is confirmed using their skills, Defenders are
driven to make steady progress.
Development
• Self-evolution describes the process of personal growth that Defenders need
to fully develop their potential. Knowing when to assess and expand
themselves enhances their abilities and happiness.
• Self-responsibility is the ability to take charge of their decisions and the
resulting consequences. Being conscious of their behavior and direction in life
helps them guide their own progress instead of letting fate dictate a path.
Conscious personal growth is about more than feeling obligated to change. When
inspired, these types to seek new ways to be happier and more successful – including
an independent and personal definition of success. The goal is to spur their inner

Personal Growth
drive with ideas, encouragement, and gentle guidance for possible problems along
the way.
Moving Forward
In the following sections, we’ll first examine Defenders’ characteristics in their most
beneficial forms. Using these motivational components in “balanced” ways helps
Defenders lead fulfilling, productive, and happy lives.
Next, we’ll describe “unbalanced” tendencies that can emerge – departures from
healthy, productive motivation strategies. We’ll also explain some adverse effects
Defenders may experience as a result.
Finally, we’ll discuss what Defenders can do to improve or “rebalance” each of the
motivational components, and provide exercises, reflection, and actions to aid in
personal growth and development.
Self-Esteem
Whether at home, at a job, or out in the community, Defenders who do the work that
makes their self-esteem healthy are likely to be a stabilizing force that others count
on. Their effort to preserve a high level of self-esteem plays out through daily,
measurable diligence, and the people in their lives reap the benefits of Defenders’
determination to be reliable.

Personal Growth
Balanced Self-Esteem
Defining Worth by Reliability
Self-esteem is the self-measure of one’s worth, and, for Defenders, they find their
value in the degree of security they bring through the efficient and thorough
execution of their tasks. While they appreciate praise and avoid others’ judgment just
like anyone else, they aren’t their core motivations. These types need to satisfy
themselves with the knowledge that they’ve done their duty. Most personality types
feel a sense of contentment when they’re where they should be and doing what they
should be doing, but it isn’t likely to be on the top of their list of the characteristics
that define them, but it is for Defenders.
Reliably Faithful
A by-product of reliability is loyalty, so it follows that Defenders also attach this to
their sense of self-worth. They’re proud of their faithfulness to both individuals or
organizations, and it’s integral to their character. They strive to reliably complete
tasks with the added understanding that doing so bolsters others. Loyalty and
reliability aren’t casually connected in the Defenders’ minds. They’re essentially
linked.
With proven loyalty comes trust. With trust comes more responsibility. With more
responsibility often comes more reward. While others may not always reward
Defenders’ loyalty, faithful individuals are more likely than unfaithful ones to have
others’ respect. Of course, there are no guarantees, and real life is often unfair. But
Defenders’ loyalty can position them for a fulfilling life of achievement.

Personal Growth
Unbalanced Self-Esteem
When Reliability Overheats
Acting reliably discourages surprises and chaos, and such predictability speaks to
Defenders’ Judging trait. However, life itself is unpredictable. Success often depends
on flexibility, and this may mean abandoning preconceived notions of the way things
“should be.” However, it’s the “should be” outlook that helps Defenders keep the
sometimes-messy world in check.
When Defenders feel a loss of self-esteem, they’re likely to overcompensate by trying
to hold everything in place with an unwillingness to be more elastic in their thoughts
and behaviors. This can make them reject necessary changes, improvisations, and
innovations. While their motivation to uphold constancy is laudable, if they become
too rigid, this rigidity can turn into a judgmental and critical stance, which is rarely
helpful.
Blind Loyalty
Loyalty is the by-product of self-esteem, and these types may deal with flagging self-
worth by clinging blindly to people, organizations, or cultural standards to keep any
disruptive influences away. Nonetheless, blind loyalty is fraught with dangers.
Giving up too much personal control to honor commitments can lead to unintended
poor results, which might include suspending Defenders’ good judgment in favor of
others, or letting unscrupulous leaders take advantage of them. Defenders are
among the least likely to support the bumper sticker that advises: “Question
Authority.” At times, however, this admonition may be the difference between doing

Personal Growth
the right thing and not doing it. This can be good advice when Defenders are in the
throes of self-doubt about their worth, as they may be vulnerable.
Rebalancing Self-Esteem
Learning to Bend
The first step in dealing with a need for reliability as a cure for poor self-esteem is for
Defenders to find wholesome ways to reassure themselves of their dutiful, consistent
natures. An inventory of the many ways they follow through on tasks and keep their
worlds stable can help them gain the perspective they need. It’s likely there’s enough
in their lives that, if listed, would reassure them of their purpose and their worth.
They can then begin to let go of rigidity enough to be more efficient. They may
recognize that they’re doing an excellent service already and that their value is nearly
self-evident. They can feel good about whom they are and what they contribute.
Conscious Loyalty
Blind loyalty rejects questioning, so the cure for it is simple: ask questions. Defenders
may wrongly assume that questioning the behavior of superiors or trusted
organizations is disloyal. However, they don’t necessarily have to respond to the
answers they get, and can even keep the answers to themselves. There’s no reason
to share them – unless there is one. Should Defenders begin to worry about blind
loyalty, the first step is to understand that questioning isn’t inherently disrespectful,
disruptive, or dangerous.
Here are some steps Defenders who feel bound too tightly to other people,
organizations, or ideas may want to consider when separating their own thoughts on
issues.

Personal Growth
• Making a two-column chart with other’s opinions or standards in one, and
their thoughts in the other, can help them separate the two. (It may be easiest
to start the chart listing the items on which they agree and seeing where it
goes from there.)
• Throughout the process, Defenders may want to remind themselves that it’s
reasonable for them to hold their unique opinions.
• As with the first step, no action is necessary unless the Defenders feel there’s
something to address. To borrow an overworked cliché, knowledge is power,
and is often all that’s needed to begin resolving imbalances in life.
Self-Respect
Balanced Self-Respect
Defenders tend to never actively demand respect from others. Doing so makes little
sense to them because it’s not part of their primary motivation. They see all they do
as an expected duty. For them, it would be like celebrating that they brushed their
teeth in the morning. It’s just what should be done. When others respect and
appreciate them, Defenders feel stronger, even if it’s presented in quieter ways.
While Defenders may humbly protest when others try to show appreciation for their
diligence, it likely pleases them–they just don’t need a brass band. A simple “thank
you, well done” will do.
Finding Way to Celebrate Victories
While having others’ respect and approval is gratifying, their only guaranteed source
is from within. Defenders may find they need to develop or be their own cheering
section. This can be done in a variety of ways depending on personal preferences. If

Personal Growth
introspection is preferred, they might list their accomplishments or keep a journal,
reviewing their challenges and victories daily. Or, if a demonstration of respect and
appreciation is in order, many people set goals and then reward themselves in some
small way – Defenders might treat themselves to a local concert after a report is
completed, for example.
If these types need a more social context (as even Introverts sometimes do), they
may enlist others with whom they can share a mutual “brag” session. Defenders’
willing spouses, family members, and friends can be natural partners to help
recognize their contributions and accomplishments. Turning this into a dinnertime
ritual with treasured natural or extended families may more than satisfy the need
for outside validation, and, “What was your day like?” is likely to assume more weight
than just a conversational nicety around Defenders’ table.
Unbalanced Self-Respect
When Duty Still Needs a Reward
While the amount of respect one gets might sound like a vain concern, it can go
deeper. Without some veneration and appreciation, people may forget they belong
or have a purpose. Motivation ideally comes from within, but humans are social
animals, and unsung heroes may appear noble while they secretly crave someone
noticing.
Defenders who don’t receive respect for their work may imagine others don’t care
about what they contribute. They may suspect that someone is taking advantage of
them, or that they aren’t a vital part of a group. Since Defenders don’t typically like to
confront others, they may allow these thoughts to fester. None of these negative
ideas foster a sense of belonging. They’re likely to drain energy and enthusiasm.

Personal Growth
Artificially Proving Importance
Defenders may also try to cope ineffectively using one or both of two methods:
artificially proving their importance, and the passive-aggressive approach.
The first is establishing their importance, which can take a wrong turn when it feels
forced, and care isn’t taken to soften it. Picture the TV sitcom where a stereotypical
bureaucrat behind the counter at the DMV won’t cut a customer a break under any
circumstances, or even take the time to hear them out. The hidden message is, “See,
I’m important enough to belong here.” On TV, they exaggerate these situations for
laughs. Milder, more realistic versions might seep into the everyday life of even the
most affable Defenders if they feel they aren’t getting the respect they deserve.
The Passive-Aggressive Approach
Passive-aggressive behavior is striking out at others by not doing what’s expected as
an alternative to a direct assault. Imagine Defenders who typically make beautiful
breakfasts every day suddenly present undercooked eggs with blackened toast. Their
hidden message to the eaters is, “Now you’ll pay attention when I do it well.” (These
Defender cooks, by the way, may not even do this consciously – their resentment is
sometimes so buried in their subconsciousness that it surprises them as well!)
People usually find ways to feel valued – even if they must do so in maladaptive ways.
If Defenders try to force others in passive-aggressive ways to acknowledge their
worth, it often comes across as demanding and abrasive. Finding a more organic
means of accomplishing the same thing can create pleasant experiences and help
cement respectful relationships.

Personal Growth
Rebalancing Self-Respect
Self-Promotion and the Basic Need for Respect
A sense of belonging is a basic human need, and Defenders are notoriously weak at
self-promotion. Their Introverted qualities can cause them to easily fade into the
background if they aren’t careful. Some people are naturals at self-promotion, and
some people are not. To rectify this, “self-promotion for Introverts” is now a hot topic
on the Internet.
For some people, self-promotion can be thought of as a stress management
technique, since it helps individuals relax more into their lives and feel more
comfortable in their skins. Instead of experiencing the stress of feeling left behind
when Extraverts hog all the glory, Defenders and other Introverts can explore
strategies for getting the respect and attention they deserve. This can help them get
ahead and feel like a vital part of any group to which they belong.
Self-Promotion: Relating to Ourselves and Others
At first, Defenders may want to practice self-promotion on themselves. Taking an
internal inventory of their value can be the first step to gaining the confidence
needed to shine publicly. Even if self-promotion goes no further, Defenders can
assure themselves of their worth and contributions to the world at large.
Their insular tendencies may cause them to fade into the wallpaper, but these types
still value relationships. If they can think of self-promotion as part of building
relationships, they might find it easier to tell others who they are and what they do.
This perspective may feel less like they’re “blowing their own horn” and more like
they’re sharing themselves openly with others.

Personal Growth
The Elevator Pitch
Lastly, there’s the old reliable “elevator pitch”: the 30-second speech (the span of the
typical elevator ride) that sums up and “sells” who we are. It’s a way to self-brand and
gets others to pay healthy attention. It doesn’t have to be confined to professional
use. Here’s a real-life example of how Defenders can use this to introduce themselves
comfortably.
• Bobby’s Defender dad might present himself to Bobby’s fifth-grade teacher –
and other parents at the PTA meeting – in the following fashion: “I’m Bobby’s
father, chauffeur, knee-scrape doctor, and home study hall supervisor. While
he depends on his mom to help him with daily homework, I’m around for his
larger projects. So, if the diorama doesn’t cut it, you can blame Bobby, but my
hand was involved in the crime as well.”
• Obviously, running around a room repeating this can sound odd, so variations
on a theme are acceptable and perhaps preferred.
• This breezy yet defining description of what Bobby’s dad does for him is
slightly self-effacing for those who are more comfortable being humble.
• Bobby’s father may have a work version of this “elevator pitch,” or even a golf
course version. It’s like a commercial slogan that repeats the speakers’
attributes and gives others a chance to know them and their role in the group.
It can be very effective at bringing someone who is usually in the background
more to the forefront.
Self-Confidence
The Feeling trait is the foundation for the way Defenders make decisions that support
their primary role of nurturer. It fosters their sincere desire to see those who are

Personal Growth
important to them being safe, happy, and prosperous in the world. They mold their
lives around decisions made from the heart, and when these decisions see positive
results, it bolsters Defenders’ self-confidence. As is often the case with those who
share the Feeling trait, Defenders value harmony, and this also influences their self-
confidence.
Balanced Self-Confidence
Practical Organizing from the Heart
Like a three-legged stool, Defenders’ practical combination of Observant and Judging
traits, along with the Feeling trait, help them meet their harmonious goals. Bringing
real-time order and stability to the people they care about is their version of
nurturing. The welfare of the people in their lives provides their motivation and
informs their choices. These types can be counted on to always be there when they’re
needed.
Because of their Observant traits, Defenders connect with the physical world, which
allows them to readily pick up the cues of those around them and respond
accordingly. Their attentive, responsive natures lead people to regard Defenders as
nurturing individuals. They fall naturally into the roles of “parent,” “giving friend,”
“understanding spouse,” “nurse,” “teacher,” “support staff member,” or even “caring
manager at work.” They’re often among the first to notice signs of distress or
discomfort, and express their personality by deciding how to ease those problems.
Defenders are imaginative problem-solvers when the problems are practical, and
their solutions are characteristically useful.

Personal Growth
Unbalanced Self-Confidence
Too Little Tough Love
Conflict gets bad press among those who share the Feeling trait. Nonetheless, it can
be helpful under the right circumstances. Defenders may be noble in their attempts
to produce harmony, but there are legitimate needs for “tough love” on occasion.
The word “enabler” may have been overused in recent decades, but Defenders tend
to assume this role when they place their desire for harmony above the need to
resolve difficult problems. Problems get worse when people fear “rocking the boat”
more than being afraid of a damaged boat sinking. To avoid conflict, Defenders may
instead repress unpleasant feelings like anger or sadness, leaving the problems that
caused these emotions to remain unresolved.
“Over-Loving”
Just as too much conflict aversion can become enabling, too much nurturing can
become coddling. For example, Defender parents may want to be alert in case their
attention to their children becomes “over-loving” them, which is also known as
“spoiling.” However, indulging others beyond reason isn’t just confined to parent-
child relationships, and can be something Defenders need to guard against. It may
be tempting for these types to “fix” things for those they love when real nurturing
should involve lending support while their loved ones fix their problems themselves.
Hurt Feelings: The Other Side of Sensitivity
The sensitivity that makes Defenders so aware of the needs of others can also work
against them if they’re feeling the least bit insecure. They can be too sensitive to even
the mildest slight. The subtlest dismissive gesture from a loved one may begin to feel

Personal Growth
like an overwhelming slam, leading to their exclaiming, “I work so hard to take care
of them, and this is how they treat me?” Taken a step further, when someone
blatantly criticizes Defenders, it can devastate these sensitive souls.
Rebalancing Self-Confidence
Confident Defenders
Defenders tend to become so attached to the idea of harmony that they’ll do
anything to preserve it – leading to conflict avoidance and challenging problems
remaining unsolved. So, how can these types become unstuck?
Fortunately, there are ways to deal with conflict that avoid aggression. Assertive
behavior sits at the midpoint between passive and aggressive behavior, offers a
method for standing up for oneself while avoiding hostility, and is something anyone
can learn.
One of the assertiveness techniques that might prove helpful for Defenders is a
reliance on “I feel…” statements. Coming at others using an accusatory “You…”
statement puts them in a defensive position, often leading to fights. For Defenders
who aren’t comfortable with statements that feel aggressive, using a statement
which explains how things are affecting them emotionally can seem less hostile to
others. After all, it’s hard to start a fight based on someone else’s feelings. Here’s an
example of how Defenders can try this.
• For example, instead of saying, “I work cleaning this house all day. Then you
come in, just throw your stuff everywhere, and leave it there until I pick it up,”
they might try, “I feel like you don’t care about the time and work I put into
cleaning the house when you don’t put your stuff away.”

Personal Growth
• The first approach is accusatory and sets up a conflict that may lead to a fight.
However, the second allows Defenders to express how the actions affect them
and reflect their emotional state.
• Not only might such an approach be more palatable to harmony-loving
Defenders, but it also allows them to bring difficult subjects to the surface
more quickly. This gives both parties a better chance of resolving problems.
Self-Evolution
If everything were in a constant state of change, life would become messy. Defenders
are the self-appointed champions of cultural traditions and accepted standards
because they speak to their love of order and predictability, and serve to foster
stability. Protocols are reliable like the Defenders themselves. But change is
important and inevitable, and mature Defenders know when to adapt. While
constants and points of references must be held in place to prevent chaos, Defenders
can only self-evolve when they accept that they, too, must roll with the changes that
are so much a part of everyday life.
Balanced Self-Evolution
The Guardians of Continuity
Defenders’ home lives are likely to be traditional, where they can relish in practicing
their accepted values and norms. At the workplace or in school, they often find
themselves aligning with the procedures and expectations of these institutions.
Defenders know the rules and not only obey them, but when someone ignores the
decrees, they defend and enforce them. As Feeling Introverts, it may not be in caring
Defenders’ fundamental nature to take on rule-breakers, but order may mean

Personal Growth
enough to them that they do. Stability is the Defenders’ superpower, and they tend
to protect it.
Without a doubt, like a love song from yesteryear or a meal that conjures pleasant
memories, there’s a sense of comfort in the familiar. Defenders exude a perpetual
sense of “home” that can be literal or a metaphor for some form of reliability.
Defenders protect “what always has been” and provide society with a sense of
healthy continuity. Because of people like Defenders, society is a lot more predictable
and steady.
Unbalanced Self-Evolution
The Challenge of Change
As practical traditionalists, Defenders are among those people would call “the salt of
the Earth.” Being the salt of the Earth, however, doesn’t mean they own the planet.
Clinging to old ideas – even as things rapidly change – can produce a hard shell of
intolerance if these types can’t balance established standards with change. It may be
difficult for Defenders to observe changing morals, evolving methods, and a
disregard for traditional standards and not cast severe judgment in their direction.
Some may perpetually pit the old against the new rather than adapt.
Change is difficult for everybody, but Defenders and other Sentinels are the hardest
hit when drastic shifts occur. Some Defenders may reject change consistently, and in
the 21st century, they can undoubtedly be socially or professionally handicapped.
What was once Defenders’ fostering of traditional standards can become rigidity.
What was a mastery of steadiness and stability can devolve into stubbornness.

Personal Growth
Intolerance
Hate isn’t a natural part of Defenders’ character by any measure. Any intolerance
they experience toward others is likely to be the product of fear more than disdain.
If they associate a person or a group of “others” with undermining the traditional
standards they fight to uphold, they may regard them as enemies. This can,
paradoxically, disturb the harmony they labor so hard to create.
Rebalancing Self-Evolution
Tradition as a Guide
W. Somerset Maugham said, “Tradition is a guide and not a jailer,” which can serve
as a powerful insight for Defenders. When using it as a guide, Defenders don’t
diminish tradition, but they also don’t enslave themselves to it, either. To restore
balance against excessive rigidity and intolerance, it may be crucial to put tradition
in a more realistic perspective.
Accepting the inevitability of change can be the first step. Learning to blend the old
with the new may help Defenders create a more balanced view. Spotting the
difference between maintaining stability and being stubborn can also help these
types navigate the changing world better. Self-examination can be useful here. “Am
I offering helpful insights into how things work, or am I just finding change difficult
to handle?” Asking this and similar questions may help Defenders see change for the
opportunity it is.
Reconsidering the Change Agents
Intolerance is an attitude, and there’s little that combats it apart from changing one’s
position. How many good people or innovative ideas are left behind because of

Personal Growth
intolerance? It may help Defenders who face this problem to think in terms of
efficiency rather than constancy. Here’s some examples of how Defenders can adjust
their attitude.
• “Reframing” is deciding to look at something from a different perspective. For
example, instead of finding individuals threatening, what if instead Defenders
try to reframe their perception, and the word “interesting” was applied instead
of “threatening”?
• Making it a point to look for the positive during change, or a departure from
that which Defenders already know, can make the experience less dire and
threatening.
• Searching for the silver lining – and how it applies personally to Defenders’
own goals and interests – can make change easier for them. It may even
surprise them how much change works in their favor!
Self-Responsibility
Thomas Edison said, “The three great essentials to achieve anything worthwhile are:
first, hard work; second, stick-to-itiveness; third, common sense” – and this serves as
a mantra for most Defenders. While not all are entirely successful at fulfilling these
goals, Defenders believe it is their responsibility to strive to realize these qualities.
Balanced Self-Responsibility
A Drive to Achieve
Whether at home or work, Defenders regard their efforts to organize and accomplish
things as callings they must answer. They’re likely to view themselves as at least
partially responsible for any successes or failures that swirl through their lives. Work

Personal Growth
and home stir a deep sense of loyalty in these individuals. The label “Defender” is no
mistake. Their commitment to their families, communities, and work groups
encourages their responsible approach, as does their self-perception of being
protectors.
The Gift of Persistence
Defenders enjoy the gifts of patience and focus. They’re valiant in their ability to push
through, even at some personal sacrifice. The most mundane work is no problem for
Defenders if they grasp its purpose or if it’s paired with a strong sense of obligation.
These types would rather work overtime and lose sleep than turn in shoddy or
incomplete work. Where others might dream longingly of their next vacation when
work becomes too routine, Defenders see it as necessary, tolerating the repetitive
better than most. They recognize the value of their efforts.
Masters of Logistics
Organization tends to come naturally to Defenders. If a package must be in New York
by tomorrow, left up to these types, it will arrive the evening before. They know what
to do and who to call to make things happen smoothly. At home and as parents,
they’re likely to have just as much of a command of resources.
Unbalanced Self-Responsibility
Too Much Responsibility, Too Little Self-Care
Personal and professional growth occurs when Defenders use their sense of
responsibility and dedication to move forward in life. However, as with all good
things, diligence can shift from a powerful tool to a demanding tyrant if not properly
balanced against other considerations.

Personal Growth
Defenders’ self-esteem and confidence are built upon their successful execution of
duties. When they aren’t feeling great about themselves or their lives, their sense of
responsibility may “overheat” in search of a positive sense of themselves. Instead of
integrating self-care and rest into their lives, they may push relentlessly to feel that
sense of responsible accomplishment.
Without taking time for themselves and finding some way to relax, Defenders are
likely to experience burnout, exhausting themselves and losing their zeal for things
that usually excite them. It makes them lose motivation. When this happens, they
can find it hard to get out of bed in the morning or carry out even the most routine
activities.
Suffering in Silence
Defenders’ powerful sense of responsibility may not only add too much to their
schedules and sap their energy, but it may also lead them to believe they’re solely
answerable for fulfilling the duties they’re associated with. With their Introverted and
Feeling traits constantly whispering warnings about making waves, Defenders may
not even consider asking for help – even if asking wouldn’t necessarily cause conflict.
Extreme self-reliance can become almost reflexive for these types. Rather than risk
raising the dust with a request for help, they may tell themselves something like, “It’s
less bother if I just do it myself.”
Once Defenders pile on the responsibilities without delegating a few, they feel there’s
nowhere to vent when it becomes overwhelming. They’re duty-bound individuals
who may see any complaining as something akin to whining. This makes letting off
harmful steam distasteful for them, adding to Defenders’ tendency to repress
emotions in favor of keeping the peace.

Personal Growth
When Burnout Burns Others
While it’s bad enough that burnout can affect Defenders, it can also spill over into
their relationships. While they think they’re pleasing the boss, the boss may see them
instead as worn-out employees who may not be working as efficiently as they should,
despite their over-the-top efforts. Those who burn out typically have short fuses.
Excessive stress has damaged many a home. In the end, by not dealing with stress,
Defenders may harm the very people they intend to look after.
The health implications and long-term consequences of stress are well known and
easy to research on the Internet. Defenders who don’t deal with stress may find their
capacity to take care of others becomes limited in the future.
Rebalancing Self-Responsibility
Assessing Whether the Stress Worth is Worth It
Defenders who find themselves suffering from responsibility overload may need to
take some active measures to remedy any related problems. For example, they might
want to decide if their relentless efforts are paying off or not. Working exceedingly
hard may indeed be the appropriate thing to do at times, but it can also exact a toll
on these types. Matching the cost to the benefit is essential. It’s counterproductive
for Defenders to assume that strenuous work is the solution to everything.
Defenders typically choose action over ruminating over things. The action doesn’t
necessarily have to be bold. It could be as simple as tying up a loose end or attending
to minute details that need completing. This approach can be an incredible asset for
productive people. However, learning to prioritize what’s important – and balancing
it with self-care – can make Defenders’ vigorously exerting themselves a more

Personal Growth
reasonable approach. Asking, “Why?” a bit more can help set a clearer path –
especially when Defenders’ need to feel responsible begins to overheat.
Stress Management for Those Who Roll Their Eyes at the Idea
“We must have a pie. Stress can’t exist in the presence of a pie,” wrote playwright
David Mamet. Stress management is about finding a cozy, sheltered “kitchen” in one’s
life where stress isn’t invited and baking a “pie,” allowing Defenders to restore
balance and their sense of being strong and whole, rather than beaten up and torn
down.
To gain credibility with Defenders, it may be important to note that “stress
management” isn’t called “stress elimination.” Stress, when balanced, has its place,
and Defenders are that unique personality type who knows where reasonable
tension fits into their lives, keeping them alert and motivated. It’s only problematic
when stressors are the only game pieces on the board, and no other choices are
available. For them, it’s something to manage but not necessarily sidestep.
Often, hardworking people like Defenders roll their eyes at the concept of stress
management courses, but stress management is about becoming more productive.
It should streamline actions and use of energy by finding some “pie” to balance their
diligence with some relaxation and even pleasure. A thorough stress management
course not only teaches how to deal with stress in the moment. It can also help
Defenders plan their days, weeks, months, even their entire lives, in ways that allow
them to pace themselves better. (Interested Defenders can find stress management
material online, and human resources departments at many companies offer such
training.)

Personal Growth
However, Defenders need to first recognize when their plate is too full. When is it all
too much? It’s different for everyone, even within the same personality types, as
several factors affect stamina and motivation. Visible signs are exhaustion, quick
tempers, or anxious feelings of dread becoming routine. Some Defenders who are
overextended may lose a sense of joy in their lives, and even find themselves
physically ill more often. Because of this, Defenders may need to learn to say the
hardest word for them to utter – “No.”
However, Defenders’ default when stressed tends to be to do more. They busily look
for things they can do to make things better, and then just do more. Doing more isn’t
always the answer. Even though it may feel positive, there’s no inherent merit in
always saying “yes.” Much depends on the specific request and the surrounding
situation.
Here are some ways Defenders who perceive life as trudging laboriously forward,
can learn to say “no” and take that first step toward lightening their load.
• Any time Defenders decline participation, they typically handle it with respect.
Nonetheless, they may want to double check that they’re safeguarding the
feelings of others to the extent it’s possible. (However, this has limits. People
feel what they feel regardless, and Defenders aren’t always responsible for
accommodating other’s emotions. Emotional manipulation, conscious or not,
shouldn’t keep these types from responding with a proper “no.”)
• Giving a reason for turning down a request is helpful if it doesn’t turn into an
excuse. Long, involved explanations aren’t necessary, and instead muddy the
waters. As a rule, brevity and honesty are essential to a clean “no.”
• Obviously, how to say “no” is situational. Denying the request of a boss may
be impossible in many workplaces where things aren’t voluntary or optional.

Personal Growth
However, with most spouses, relatives, neighbors, and some bosses, there
may be more latitude.
• When the only realistic solution ends up involving “doing more,” Defenders can
benefit from learning to delegate. These universal helpers find their lives
improve if they share the wealth with others and ask those in their lives to help
them in return. A substantial step in Defenders’ stress management includes
admitting they don’t have to do it all.
When they do feel overwhelmed, having space to drop their emotional baggage can
be most helpful. Spending some time writing out their concerns and their reactions,
or talking to supportive friends or spouses, can be steps in the right direction. For
some Defenders, it may take thinking about venting as something that’s useful and
not just self-indulgence – although there’s nothing wrong with indulging themselves.
In the physical world, pressure seeks a release if it starts to become too much. It’s
better to bring about a release gradually rather than risk an explosion. Think of a
pressure cooker. In the emotional world, the idea is the same. Finding ways to release
stress slowly, in controlled and safe ways, can help Defenders ease the pressure.
Conclusion
Like a seedling poking its head through the soil in the early spring, growth rarely
happens without something emerging from the comforts of the familiar. As much as
they love the familiar, Defenders love effectiveness more. Those who embrace
balance and self-care can discover they’re more effective. This alone should prove
motivating for Defenders seeking to be their best selves. They aren’t slouches.
They’re unlikely to let any of the discomforts or risks of growth deter them.

Personal Growth
More importantly, Defenders are protectors and nurturers, and when they develop
a satisfying quality of life they’re likely to share that satisfaction with the people they
love. Contented Defenders carry with them a bubble of happiness that influences
and engulfs others. There are so many ways nurturing themselves contributes to
their ability to nurture others. Finding the proper mix of self-care to caring for others
is the key to Defenders’ personal growth.

Romantic Relationships
“Home” is a powerful concept for Defenders, and romantic partners personify
“home” for these types, even if their relationships haven’t yet advanced to living
together. From new regular dating partners to spouses, steady love interests can
reinforce the sense of familiarity and predictability that’s so satisfying to them. Some
other personality types may worry whether they can stay with the same people all
their lives. Defenders, on the other hand, typically crave longevity. It may be
challenging to find many types more loyal in love than they are.
However, it would be a mistake to oversimplify Defenders’ loyalty as a need to sustain
emotional or material security. Their commitment comes from their drive to care for
someone else. When they fall in love, they don’t think of opportunity. Instead, they’re
likely to emphasize the traditional “two become one.” They merge beyond mere
usefulness. Their beloveds enter Defenders’ sphere of nurturing and become integral
parts of their lives. It’s a grave matter, and this may be clear from the first inkling that
they’re entertaining romantic feelings.

True partnerships form within the seriousness nature of relationships, and
Defenders do all they can to keep them safe. This doesn’t mean such relationships
are invulnerable. They can still succumb to the things that destroy couples. However,
their romantic relationships are unlikely to crumble because Defenders fail to apply
effort. Once in love and committed to others, these types usually intend to stay for
the long haul.
Dating and the Single Defenders
Young Defenders view dating as a rite of passage. If someone attracts them
romantically, the attraction is usually sparked by their getting to know their potential
partners beforehand. “Love at first sight” can happen, but it’s more likely Defenders
connect with love interests in more deliberate ways. Potential candidates are found
in familiar places where they can first become acquainted with them casually –
perhaps at work or school. They prefer traditional dating practices and venues. They
may enjoy dancing at the prom or a local club, going to the movies, or experiencing
some other time-honored dating custom. Novelty isn’t necessary. While spontaneity
can be fun for Defenders, they’re more at home with planned activities.
Even during the dating phase, Defenders are giving individuals. The first hint that
their focus involves taking care of those they love appears very early, and they tend
to bend over backward to please the people they go out with. Early on, they try to
guarantee their dates have an enjoyable evening.
However, this only goes so far. If these types feel that anyone they go out with is too
spontaneous – perhaps so much so that Defenders interpret it as irresponsibility –
they may shut down. They need structure, and they need rules. Not everyone they
date may embrace their strict codes, but those not adhering to protocol during their

shared evenings may give a false impression. Judging them so harshly can eliminate
otherwise perfectly good romantic partners for Defenders.
Fear may also come into play when Defenders’ dates behave too far afield of what
they’re accustomed to, or suggest activities outside of their comfort zones, as these
may leave them feeling abandoned. If their companions don’t create ways to include
them, or Defenders don’t jump in themselves (which may be uncharacteristic), these
budding relationships may turn into disappointments. Engaging Defenders’ practical
and organizational skills may give them a way to be a part of such activities (or for
them to include themselves). For example, a music festival may not be Defenders’
first choice of activities, but involving them in preparing and planning such an outing
may appeal to their logistical bent if they can help book lodging, plan menus, develop
a timetable, or arrange transportation to and from the venue. Such involvement may
help Defenders discover a niche in even the most unfamiliar activities.
Early dating may feel like checking off the “cultural” and “life stages” boxes for many
Defenders. However, as time goes on, dating does become serious business for these
types. Family and other close affiliations are essential to them. Dating is part of the
usual path to settling down, and since it’s such a serious matter, they may do
whatever they can to keep their relationships intact. For their well-being, they may
want to balance preserving their dreams and desires against putting their energy into
pleasing their potential lovers.
If they abandon their needs in pursuit of romance, Defenders may only feel
unfulfilled in their relationships. Taken to the extreme, though, this can lead to
deeper despair – and finding indirect and unhealthy ways to deal with their
unhappiness. For Defenders, this can involve becoming uncharacteristically
uncooperative, depressed, and sullen. These indirect protest measures serve as

attempts to spotlight their dissatisfaction without being directly confrontational.
Finding more direct means to advance their causes and romantic needs may be a
challenge Defenders need to revisit again and again.
Defenders in the Bedroom
Defenders’ natural impulse to care for others and giving natures can motivate them
to be generous lovers who extend their nurturing selves into their sex lives. However,
this isn’t to say Defenders are bold or experimental in the bedroom. They’re mostly
reserved, but they want to satisfy their partners and give themselves to the extent
they can while staying within their boundaries. They’re also likely to take sex
seriously. When in relationships, the concept of commitment – each giving
themselves to the other – is firmly ingrained somewhere in Defenders’ consciousness
during sex.
However, these types should exercise caution to avoid putting their partners’ sexual
needs and desires exclusively ahead of their own. While doing so might work
temporarily, in time, their giving without receiving satisfaction in return may reduce
lovemaking to a chore for them. It can rob the experience of its depth and meaning.
Also, Defenders’ generous nature may create conflict if their partners show an
interest in experimenting, as many couples do to keep their sex lives fresh.
Depending on the cultural and traditional mores they identify with, Defenders may
define “acceptable” sexual behavior more narrowly than other types might. If this is
the case, feeling pressure to experiment won’t work for many Defenders.
Learning to communicate honestly about sexual matters may be essential for these
types, but it may never be easy for them to be forthcoming with their feelings.
Defenders might offer suggestions that allow their lovers to hear their needs and

respond accordingly. They may try “I feel…” statements – for example, “I feel sad
when you rush and don’t take your time.” There may be a point where counselors,
therapists, or religious counselors might be helpful if partners feel their needs aren’t
met.
Breaking Up is Hard to Do
With the strong Judging trait comes a desire for a sense of steadiness and predictable
forward movement. For these types, a surprise breakup is the ultimate assault. It
derails everything they think about relationships and turns their worlds upside down.
While such disruption isn’t unique to Defenders, they take it more to heart than many
other personality types. A love affair that’s falling apart robs them of their deep desire
for connectedness.
If Defenders see an inevitable end coming, they may terminate a romance, even
though it violates a vital core goal in their lives. Such breakups might fall under “living
effectively.” Despite the pain and profound sense of loss, these types may judge it as
the best thing they can do for themselves or their partners. They’re unlikely to try to
hold unhappy partners in relationships if they’re determined to go. Even in love,
practical realism is likely to win out for Defenders.
However, in some cases, Defender lovers may protect relationships long after they
should be allowed to wind down. The loyalty that serves them so well in most aspects
of their lives can keep them from ending troubled relationships. If there’s a glimmer
of hope, they may try to hang on. Defenders may come to a juncture where they
need to decide if they’re loyal for loyalty’s sake or if there’s something in their
relationships that truly earn their devotion.

As hokey as the advice is after a breakup, recommending they “get back on the horse”
may be just the thing for Defenders. Returning as soon as they can to the familiarity
of being in a committed relationship may provide healing and a healthy refuge for
them. Defenders learn the lessons of having their hearts broken as most do, but
breakups do little to alter their core characteristics. Change comes, but their hopes
and expectations remain the same and continue to guide them through their lives.
Defenders tend to accept that heartbreak can be painful but is rarely fatal, and
sometimes it opens the way for more suitable romances.
Potential Role Pairings

Each Role contains a set of four personality types that share core characteristics and,
therefore, are similar to each other. Exploring the Roles and their potential romantic
interactions with Defenders can provide a helpful framework for navigating
relationships. However, some caution is warranted. Life is messy and full of hard
decisions. People aren’t like puzzle pieces that fit other pieces in some perfect,
predictable way. Too many variables affect all relationships.
Traits may manifest in distinct or obvious ways, but sometimes they’re a subtle
undercurrent of someone’s personality. Often traits become subdued over time, or
exaggerated, as people adapt to societal and other pressures. When considering
traits, too rigid an interpretation of another’s tendencies can confine romantic
partners into identities that don’t fit. A more reasonable goal is to discover how traits
might influence each unique partner within a couple. In loving relationships, personal
conversations outdo even the most reliable personality studies.
Although the information provided here can help readers navigate relationships
better, we won’t pretend to offer exact solutions, nor predict perfect romantic

partners through personality types alone. However, the information provided by
personality types can be a powerful tool for romantic exploration, especially in
creating deeper understanding and meeting each other’s needs – and like any tool,
it’s best used with education, patience, and practice.
Defender–Analyst Relationships
For distinct reasons, both Defenders and Analysts seek longevity in romantic
relationships. Defenders want to make a real or metaphorical sense of “home” that
serves as a bulwark against the chaos and unpredictability of the outside world.
Analysts tend to cherish long-term loving partners because both interpreting and
expressing emotions is confusing and challenging work for them. Finally finding
others to love who “makes sense” to them is rare, and these individuals are to be
treasured and sustained. Defenders’ and Analysts’ sense of loyalty is a solid match,
albeit for distinct reasons.

Balanced Defender–Analyst Relationships
Love and the Mental Checklist
Defenders and Analyst are both likely to approach finding lovers with some degree
of calculation. Both types carry a checklist either in their conscious or subconscious
mind, ticking off items as they explore potential romantic candidates. In fact, it
wouldn’t be surprising if either type developed a written list of the qualities they’re
seeking in a love interest.
For Defenders, their items match their cultural standards, traditions, and mores.
Analysts have uniquely rational reasons, and their lists are customized accordingly.
Neither type is likely to be vague about their preferences and needs in their
relationships. This surety can set up a solid foundation that potentially feeds into the
strength of these couples. While they may formulate their searches differently, both
Defenders and Analysts approach romantic relationships with a sense of certainty –
and even a sense of mission.
Love and Efficiency
Although they might express it differently, both these partner types share a sense of
effectiveness. For Defenders, it’s more real-time, real-world, and logistic – their
purpose is to ensure things remain hassle-free, accurate, and safe. For Analysts,
efficiency concerns more theoretical yet elegant solutions. Their aim is to discover
innovative ways to perfect systems and procedures. If these partners gain respect
for the others’ strengths, they can evolve into formidable couples, indeed.
Analysts may impress Defenders with their serious nature and intelligent manner.
Defenders may find Analysts’ penchant for treating life as a puzzle to solve as

interesting and even exciting – but only if it’s not overdone. Since Analysts “make
sense,” Defenders may see this as stability, and little is more attractive to these types
than stability. In return, Analysts tend to appreciate Defenders’ ability to counter
chaos with thoroughness, and are smitten by their decisiveness and sense of order,
among other unique qualities. For Analysts, particularly those having the Prospecting
trait, Defenders may fill in disorganized gaps in their lives.
Unbalanced Defender–Analyst Relationships
Conflicting Sense of Satisfaction
When one partner type seeks harmony and predictability, and another always
questions the status quo with an eye toward making things better, it can lead to
unsettled feelings. Therein lies a potential problem when Defenders and Analysts fall
in love. Defenders find satisfaction in being anchored and well-defined. Analysts find
it in exploring different perspectives and possibilities.
When it comes to these matters, Analysts with the Judging trait may come closer to
Defenders’ sensibilities. Nonetheless, their Intuition still has them searching the
universe for possibilities – just not as many as their Prospecting counterparts.
Defenders who labor to build stable, predictable homes and lives may become
flummoxed when their partners seem to be looking for something more. It may be
as simple as Defenders wanting to keep their current mortgages while their Analyst
partners search for ways to refinance. Or they might not see eye-to-eye regarding
major lifestyle decisions. For example, do they send the children to traditional public
or private schools, or look for alternative academic possibilities that might be more
interesting?

Defenders likely want to stay with what they know and become concerned when their
Analyst partners try to open the spectrum of possibilities. These types are happy with
settling down, routine, and certainty. They may interpret their Analyst partners’
looking beyond their psychological “nests” as a sign of discontent. It can be
worrisome for them and cause tension in their love lives.
Seeking Solutions in Different Ways
Where Defenders see one tried and true way of doing something, Analysts explore
alternatives because they believe there may be many solutions to the same problem.
It’s not that Defenders’ proven methods aren’t enough, it’s that Analysts seek to
stretch their understanding and exercise their imagination to discover more options.
For example, using the phone to change an insurance policy may be Defenders’
preferred method to handle the task. It’s likely what they’re accustomed to, and they
may regard it as an uncomplicated, direct solution.
Analysts, however, might focus on the insurance company’s website as being more
efficient. They may cite the ability to make the change online without being put on
hold to wait for an operator, their having more control over the information they
enter, and their ability to make the change at their convenience. Defenders want to
complete tasks in ways that are familiar to them. Analysts also seek to complete
tasks, only in an optimized fashion. It’s possible neither approach is necessarily
wrong. They’re just different. If either of these types demand the other does
something exclusively according to their preferred method, it can bring tension to
their relationships.
These differences may also extend to moral or other important decisions. For
Defenders, these answers are black and white because they base their methods on

codes and admonitions they were brought up with. Meanwhile, Analysts untie
complicated ethical knots created mostly on the theoretical whiteboard in their
minds, causing Defenders to become impatient. “The answer is clear. What’s the
holdup?” may be their Defender lovers’ refrain.
To further complicate the decision-making process, Defenders are more prone to
conclusions that promote the welfare of others and strive to maintain harmony.
Analysts may see emotional considerations as inefficient or “fuzzy thinking,”
preferring instead to adopt more straightforward strategies heavily reliant on bare
facts. They may not always consider the emotional costs and the importance of
heeding others’ opinions. It may upset Defenders when their beloveds offer
suggestions that appear “cold” to them.
Focusing When Priorities Are Out of Sync
Those with the Observant trait and those with the Intuitive trait bring their worlds
into focus in unique ways. While Intuitive Analysts pay attention to details in support
of larger concepts, Observant Defenders keep their worlds in place by focusing on
specific details that they can appropriately arrange. It’s not so much that Analysts
ignore similar details. They can be very detailed-oriented if it matches their priorities.
However, what is important to Defenders may not be important to Analysts, and vice
versa.
As an example, leaving the cap off the toothpaste might go unnoticed by some
Analysts, particularly if their minds are elsewhere. If a replaced toothpaste cap
represents order to Defenders, however, they may feel Analysts don’t have respect
for their standards. Such matters may seem trivial to Analysts, but not all “trivial”
things are meaningless to everyone. It’s a question of focus and context.

By the same token, Analysts may go too deeply “into the weeds” on issues that are
important to them, but leave Defenders shrugging their shoulders. To Analysts,
larger concepts are important. Theories, often supported by specialized details, help
organize their lives. However, if these aren’t concrete or practical, they can wear on
Defenders’ patience. They may labor to keep day-to-day details in order while
Analysts go on about theories they feel are annoyingly irrelevant and unhelpful.
Occasional occurrences of out-of-sync priorities may not matter much, but repeated
and constant instances create tension. If these couples fail to respect each others’
differences, these differences may transform into their relationships’ defining
identities. Incompatibility bears responsibility for many a failed relationship.
Rebalancing Defender–Analyst Relationships
Remembering Why They Fell in Love
Marriage counselors often find couples forget who it was they married. Sure, they
get the names and the faces straight, but they seem to forget they once adored – or
at least accepted – the qualities that so irritate them now. It’s unrealistic to commit
to relationships believing their partners can someday change, and it may be
important they remember who they fell in love with in the beginning.
In Defender–Analyst relationships, Defenders came in with all the strengths and
weaknesses typical of their personality type. The same applies to Analysts.
Communication can be hard for Defenders who fear making waves. Analysts, who
are uncomfortable exploring their feelings, may also be reluctant. But Defenders, in
all their reticence, aren’t afraid of hard work. Whenever differences in personality
styles seem overwhelming, it may help to remember what drew these couples

together in the first place. Here’s an exercise these couples can try to help them do
this.
• Listing these formerly appreciated qualities and sharing them can become a
powerful anniversary ritual.
• This ritual can also serve as emergency “first aid” whenever Defenders and
Analysts discover they’re getting on each other’s nerves.
• If their communication breakdown is severe enough, finding a professional –
a counselor, a therapist, or a religious leader – may make talking about delicate
matters easier.
It’s important for Defender and Analyst couples to remember that because they may
have different approaches, neither is necessarily more correct than the other. Once
they appreciate there are methods other than their own, they may even try to dip
their toes a bit into their partners’ ponds. Defenders may enjoy playing with ideas
their Analyst partners bring them and may find doing so useful for broadening their
insights. Analysts who explore Defenders’ priorities (which don’t seem important on
most days) may learn they have intriguing qualities when given proper attention.
Even if Defenders don’t fully embrace the ways of their Analyst lovers, or Analysts the
ways of Defenders, appreciating the value of what they do can enhance their overall
appreciation of each other.

Defender–Diplomat Relationships
Defenders and Diplomats have a great many things in common. Both have an
interest in nurturing others. Both regard loyalty as noble. Defenders create a stable
environment where the people they love thrive. Diplomats have an interest in
supporting the mental and spiritual growth of others. Both types stand firm after
they’ve adopted a standard as their own. Even though they develop their standards
in different ways, both hold a high regard for the values they embrace. And both
vigorously seek to be instrumental in creating harmony.
Balanced Defender–Diplomat Relationships
A Little Heaven and a Little Earth: A Potentially Good Mix
Defenders ground their Diplomat partners, who may at times be flighty and idealistic,
especially if they have the Prospecting trait. Diplomats, on the other hand, invite the
Defenders they love to spread their imaginative wings and dream a little. When
Defenders become stressed and overloaded, Diplomats can help them find larger,
perhaps more fanciful priorities to tie their kites to. They demonstrate that the daily
grind isn’t everything. Meanwhile, Diplomats typically need to connect more to that

very daily grind. Where they might otherwise avoid life’s mundane details, their
Defender lovers can anchor them to the everyday things that they must attend to.
When they first begin to date, Defenders may be impressed with the degree to which
Diplomats care about the well-being of others. Defenders tend to impress Diplomats
with their ability to care for others on a more practical level, and they may see
Defenders’ approach as supplementing their own more spiritual, social, and
psychological growth focus. In time, Diplomats are likely to reveal themselves to be
hot air balloons drifting in the ether, and Defenders can become the mooring lines
that keep these couples attached to reality. Meanwhile, Defenders tend to enjoy the
view from the heavens that Diplomats offer.
Values: Different, but the Same
When Defender–Diplomat couples take the time to understand each other, there are
unlikely to be more caring couples. While they may arrive at their values differently,
they’re both values-based types. While Defenders uphold values from their
communities, upbringing, or tradition, and Diplomats from concepts and
philosophical exploration, they are, nonetheless, both bound to ethics. If they avoid
focusing on how each acquired their morals and instead appreciate their shared
intent to nurture the people on their radars, such couples can connect in ways that
radiate selflessness.
Unbalanced Defender–Diplomat Relationships
The Practical Will Always Test the Ideal
Much can be made concerning practical Defenders and their idealistic Diplomat
sweethearts balancing each other. It’s a wonderful thing… until it isn’t. These

partnerships don’t always unfold as expected. At first, Defenders may find Diplomats’
utopian inclinations interesting and attractive. Diplomats’ focus on values appeals to
Defenders’ sense of rightness and fairness – in fact, they honor their tradition-based
values just as strongly. However, once the novelty wears off, Defenders may wonder
how practical their Diplomat lovers’ ideas are.
Settling down and stabilizing are always on Defenders’ minds, and they tend to
expect their Diplomat partners to become more practical, with whom they can set
up their households. Diplomats primarily project their thoughts into the future and
worry about what may become of things. This focus may test their Defender partners’
patience. Among Defenders, everything practical happens in the present. It’s easy for
Diplomats to wrestle with concerns about global warming or the effects of
nationalism on society while forgetting to buy milk on the way home. The focus of
Observant and Intuitive individuals always differs, and the practical always tests the
ideal.
Defenders may think about the future and global concerns as much as Diplomats.
They’re just unlikely to judge Diplomats’ worries as immediate to their lives.
Defenders understand what they can handle efficiently and are realistic about their
concerns. After a brief appreciation of their Diplomat partners’ perspectives, they
may reject all their “what ifs” as an inefficient waste of mental time and energy. They
might find nothing realistically actionable about Diplomats’ interests. In turn,
Diplomats might consider their abstract thinking superior to that of their Defender
lovers as they become bored with conversations highlighting the brass tacks of their
partners’ days.

When Emotions Rule
Both Defenders and Diplomats may find themselves making decisions based on
emotional rather than rational content. Both types are quite capable of being coolly
rational. However, this isn’t usually their opening move. Both prefer instead to
prioritize how their decisions affect others.
Despite a preference to see the world through the lens of Feeling, sometimes these
couples need to deal with hard facts in ways where emotions may even get in the
way. While there’s likely always some emotional undercurrent in all purposeful
activities, for Defender–Diplomat couples, their feelings may take precedence over
important details. For example, if they love a house that’s filled with wonderful
memories and yet discover that downsizing is necessary, they may need to abandon
any sentimental notions to do what must be done. There may be times when
understanding their shared preference for sentiment over sound practicality leads
them to make choices neither is entirely comfortable with.
When these partners’ feelings hold a crucial position in their lives, the potential for a
constant state of drama exists. It can be positive drama expressed as enthusiasm,
negative drama expressed as tragedy, or anything in between. While Defenders’
Judging trait may try to compel order, too much emotional material may slip in to
allow it. Excess emotionalism can create volatility and unpredictability, much to their
dismay. However, people feel what they feel. These types can’t tame emotions in
quite the same way logic can tame wayward rationality.
Diplomats are far freer and more expressive with their emotions than Defenders,
who lean toward greater inhibition. There may not be a difference in their actual
emotional states, but their degrees of openness can be quite distinct. Diplomats’

emotive displays may be overwhelming for Defenders who choose stability over
volatility. Consequently, rather than risk an onslaught of emotions from their
Diplomat lovers, Defenders may opt to remain even more reticent about voicing their
feelings and preferences. This can result in a severe imbalance in their relationships.
Rebalancing Defender–Diplomat Relationships
Being Open-Minded
Defenders aren’t known for being the most open-minded of types. Similarly, while
their Intuition nudges them to open their minds, Diplomats remain protective of –
and stay committed to – their ideals. For such couples, it may take special effort to
acknowledge the value of each other’s points of view.
This goes beyond “we should do this” versus “we should do that.” There are unique
perspectives involved. Opening their minds may go beyond simply agreeing to fully
appreciating what each brings to their relationships. To support the bond between
Defender and Diplomat partners, their growth and development as committed lovers
may depend on exploring beyond their comfort zones. To do this, here is an exercise
these couples can try.
• Sitting together with a notebook and sharing their feelings and opinions in
written form can be helpful in promoting understanding.
• This involves these partners each taking a pressing topic and writing anything
from a paragraph, poem, or letter describing their thoughts and feelings.
• If one partner is more reticent than the other during a discussion, writing
beforehand may help put them on equal footing.
• Defenders have the advantage of being able to think through responses. They
can take the time they need without the pressure.

• This may work for any point of contention that arises, and each type making
their case on paper beforehand may slow down arguments when opinions
differ.
Being Careful with Criticism
In working out their dissimilar perspectives, both Defenders and Diplomats must
mete out criticism gingerly. Their reliance on the Feeling trait for assessing situations
means each may suffer emotional wounds with little effort or intent by their partners.
In loving relationships, partners inevitably hurt each other’s feelings on occasion
because they care about the opinions of their partners. Defender–Diplomat couples
can return from occasional lapses in kindness or judgment, but if they occur with
regularity, recovery may be difficult. If criticism is necessary, it’s important to provide
– and accept – it with respect. Here are some ways these lovers can approach this.
• Defender–Diplomat couples might want to discuss criticism with a focus on
feelings and actions, rather than on each other’s nature and character.
• Starting a conversation with, “I feel angry when you…” is likely to yield more
receptiveness than, “Sometimes, you’re a lazy, inconsiderate slob.” Not only is
it difficult to start an argument around someone’s stated feelings, but it also
helps avoid an accusing or attacking tone which is likely to raise these partners’
defenses.
• Say or write, “I feel…” followed by the relevant feeling.
• Then add, “when you…” followed by the act that evokes the feeling. “I feel
lonely when you spend all your time at home reading.” “I feel frustrated when
you don’t take the trash out after you’ve promised to.”
• It’s a very good idea to balance this occasionally with some positive, “I feel…”
statements – “I feel so happy when we go for a walk together.”

Deal with the Facts
It’s unlikely Defender–Diplomat couples would ever dispense with emotional
considerations altogether, nor should they. Good decisions can flow from feelings in
the right circumstances. A certain warm rationality can be a product of emotions –
deciding to treat coworkers with more respect, for example.
These lovers may want to guard against over-romantization or other excessive
emotional responses and learn to recognize when emotions are best brushed aside,
at least partially and temporarily. Both types can stretch beyond their emotional
comfort zones when necessary, but it might take some special effort for such couples
to spot their “default” emotional inclinations. For Defender–Diplomat couples, it’s
less about squelching emotions than it is finding balance with a more rational
approach.
Defender–Sentinel Relationships
Couples with the same core traits usually understand each other best. Defenders in
love with other Sentinels share a sense of responsibility, caring, and practical order.
Traditions that reflect their culture, past, and upbringing blanket them. Even if these

romantic partners are of different cultures and were raised differently, they’re likely
to have a lot in common, all the same. While the specifics may differ, each type
understands the other’s style of building useful foundations and maintaining the
traditional values and beliefs that are elemental to their backgrounds. It won’t matter
if one is from uptown and the other downtown – Defenders and other Sentinels
recognize similar fundamentals in one another regardless.
Balanced Defender–Sentinel Relationships
Finding Commitment and Clarity
From the moment there’s a sufficient level of commitment, things tend to be quite
serious between Defenders and the Sentinels they love. Both feel a strong pull
toward stabilizing their lives with hearth and home, as well as their apparent desire
to settle down with someone with whom they can build a life. When they feel sure of
the other being the “one,” plans are made, and directions are charted in clear terms.
Sharing a Down-to-Earth Approach
Defenders love other Sentinels for their down-to-Earth approach and the effort they
put into life. Diligence is very attractive to Sentinels. Together, they embrace the
traditional wisdom and understanding of those who have gone before them, rather
than theoretical mores. This isn’t to say their romances are devoid of imagination. It’s
just Defenders and other Sentinels prefer the imaginative manipulation of concrete
matters and the creative interpretation of time-honored methods. They’re likely to
follow culturally-approved codes than try something experimental. Diligent attention
to tasks today assures them that their lives together can work out tomorrow. Unlike
their Intuitive friends who simply dream of a better future, these types lay down
reliable, real-time foundations for it.

Protecting Those They Love
It’s no accident this group received the label of “Sentinel.” They protect the things
already in their lives – and in the lives of those they love. Defenders and other
Sentinels stand guard and do whatever they can to meet the needs and reasonable
desires of their significant others. When two Sentinel types merge, a deep, mutual
caretaking develops that’s unsurpassed by pairings with other personality types.
Defenders may discover heartfelt loyalty with other types. However, they never attain
the level of practicality as when they join with other Sentinels.
Unbalanced Defender–Sentinel Relationships
Too Much of a Good Thing
When individuals with similar traits fall in love, the combination can result in too
much of a good thing. People often pass through stages where they yearn for change
– even tradition-bound Defenders and other Sentinels. Wondering if a new, exciting
upgrade might add some zing, Defenders and Sentinels who fall victim to “sameness”
may criticize the very routine they once treated as a perk. The old bumper sticker
that asked, “Are we having fun yet?” might become a nagging question in these
couples’ minds.
There’s a difference between satisfaction and joy. Defender–Sentinel couples who
don’t infuse a little novelty and excitement into their relationships may find that
satisfaction alone eventually becomes too little for them. However, note the word
“may,” as this statement is a cautionary warning rather than a prediction. Even
among similar types, with all they have in common, different people need various
levels of stimulation and excitement and may question their happiness as they go
through life’s stages. Sometimes their uncertainty is in passing, and sometimes it

shakes their worlds. For Defender–Sentinel couples, stability becoming stagnation
can be a troubling issue.
Missed Opportunities
It’s not only about boredom. Such couples may become so insulated inside their
routines that they miss out on other available opportunities. If they focus on “what
is” and reinforce one another’s reliance on the status quo, any other growth is limited
to the small space they happily create together. An insular life is a reasonable choice
for any couple. However, for a choice to be a choice, they must also consider other
alternatives. Defenders with Sentinel partners, safe within their bubbles, may never
discover their options, much less reach out to them.
Personal growth almost always entails a measure of risk, and relationships that
promote growth allow partners to take chances. Professionally, avoiding the risk of
moving to more lucrative or satisfying jobs can mean lost opportunities. Perhaps
spending the time or money to pursue more training or education seems frivolous
in a household that values sureness. After all, more learning doesn’t necessarily
guarantee more success. Trying different paths may feel like gambling when
perfectly good employment already exists.
“Playing it safe” socially limits some types of growth. Trying new things with new
people not only adds excitement, but it fosters a more sophisticated understanding
of the greater world. A predictable life, by definition, is one without a lot of variety,
and variety can keep people more engaged in life.

When Both are Certain, Who Decides?
Order and predictability are essential to lovers in Defender–Sentinel relationships,
and the Judging trait inevitably contains a degree of certainty. But “order” for some
may mean a ranch house in the heart of the suburbs, designed for raising four kids.
Others may envision a city townhouse near work and parenting an only child. When
the Judging trait overheats, partners are convinced their positions stand alone as the
best – a recipe for tension in romantic relationships. Once they’ve decided
something, they simply want to move on to the next step. With Defender–Sentinel
couples, stubborn determination can consume the harmony in their households like
a flame consumes oxygen.
Rebalancing Defender–Sentinel Relationships
Deciding to Add a Little Spice
Like the Introvert who shakes a lot of hands to keep a job, Sentinels and their
Defender sweethearts can consider shaking up their routines occasionally – even at
the price of a little discomfort. This doesn’t mean they should destroy the stable
worlds they create. But wandering outside their routines, spontaneously exploring
the exotic, could add a smidgeon of jalapeño to their mild gazpacho of daily living.
The food metaphor can be taken literally. One surprising the other by serving a
romantic dinner filled with adventurous foods – on an average Wednesday, no less –
guarantees some excitement on an otherwise predictable weeknight.
All couples must decide their tolerance for spice. Some prefer a lot of jalapeños,
others only a little, and still others abstain. Lovers must determine what makes their
individual lives more interesting and provides them with fond memories. Those in

Defender–Sentinel couples can periodically ask themselves, “When was the last time
I surprised the person I love?”
Explore the World
In this swiftly changing world, yesterday’s opportunities are already meaningless, and
tomorrow’s will fly quickly by. Defender–Sentinel couples who remain cloistered may
miss them all. Being protective of the lifestyles they value is admirable, and many
couples would be envious of the closeness that entails. Nonetheless, a lot of
opportunities in the 21st century focus less on preserving the status quo than
exploring new horizons. Here are some examples of ways these lovers can discover
that growth happens just outside their comfort zone.
• Online courses taken together provide an opportunity for Defender–Sentinel
couples to expand their horizons and grow closer from the comfort of their
cherished home environments.
• Attending conferences or public trade shows can be a wonderful way to find
out what is taking place beyond their doors.
Compromise is Usually the Key
The Judging trait, with all its certitude, doesn’t have to serve as a lock on opinions – it
can also act as a tool for sorting options in an orderly fashion. Compromise loosens
individual preferences and opinions enough to allow other’s to be considered, and
it’s crucial to successful relationships. Compromise affirms both partners in couples
because it takes both positions seriously. Here’s a technique these twosomes can try.
• Creating a two-column chart can be a useful technique for creating
compromise. Listing what each partner wants or needs, and then finding

commonalities, organizes the issues and creates a foundation for finding
compromise.
• Caution: It’s important to remember that everyone gives a little and receives a
little in a compromise. Each win because both walk away with some
concessions, but both also surrender something as well. Defenders may need
to take care that they don’t surrender too much.
Defender–Explorer Relationships
Defender–Explorer couples tend to be the oddest of all combinations. As Observant
types, both live “in the moment,” but in drastically different ways. “The moment,” for
Defenders, brings a chance to manage matters at hand responsibly. They consider
consequences, but they link them strongly to their present activities. They believe
that what they do now carries the future. Explorers, however, regard “the moment”
as an opportunity to discover new, enjoyable experiences. Their satisfaction is
immediate, and future costs aren’t as important to them. This lack of concern allows
Explorers to bend the rules when they believe it’s worthwhile. Of course, as
previously discussed, Defenders are the guardians of such rules, but opposites do
indeed sometimes attract.

Balanced Defender–Explorer Relationships
Sometimes Opposites Do Attract
Being vastly different can be ideal for generating some wonderful relationships.
Defenders and Explorers sometimes get together because staid, organized
Defenders find they need some excitement, relaxation, and spontaneity in their lives.
If they seek a little enjoyment, Explorers often bring it. Explorers likely experience the
practical difficulties that living so exclusively in the moment produce. They may
search for ways to introduce organizing and planning into their lives and may
discover completion with the right Defender love interests. If both types understand
their differences, don’t force their perspectives, and have a degree of tolerance, they
may come across each other at the right time and create outstanding bonds.
Love Meets Needs
Lest this sounds too utilitarian, consider the many factors that go into forming
romantic relationships. As a broad example, younger Explorers often experience
challenging times when their unique personalities may not fit in. This alienation
potentially affects their sense of belonging for the rest of their lives. Defenders create
a welcoming space that fulfills that basic need. Their nurturing natures blanket those
they love with the warmth of belonging.
Explorers, on the other hand, broaden Defenders’ worlds. If they can gently tug
Defenders out of their isolated, guarded existence, Explorers can add variety,
excitement, and a greater understanding of otherwise unfamiliar things to their lives.
Defenders may not always admit they need this, but some part of them typically
seeks the kind of joy Explorers can supply.

Unbalanced Defender–Explorer Relationships
Roles that Grow Old
Defenders and Explorers may discover that their roles, being so distinct, become
strictly defined. Defenders take on the “adult” role of organizing and meeting
obligations, and the Explorers become the more creative, fun-loving partners. These
accepted roles may work well for a lifetime, or they may become tiresome quickly. If
these couples aren’t careful, their relationships might start to resemble those of
parents and children. It becomes burdensome for Defenders who take all the
responsibility while Explorers enjoy a carefree, almost childlike, existence. Defenders
may insist that the weekend is right for spring cleaning, while Explorers would rather
attend a local art fair. This imbalance can become problematic, and potentially, the
“adults” can grow weary, while the “children” start to feel inferior.
When Stability Meets Spontaneity
Defenders easily become set in their ways, while Explorers may change their opinions
or interests within minutes. The things that excite Explorers today, they’ll ignore
tomorrow. Defenders depend on each day looking like the one that came before it.
Explorers may see their Defender partners’ routines as a non-stop hindrance to their
free expression, and have lots of difficulty in relationships they believe confine them.
Commitment, by its nature, assures predictability, and predictable situations make
Defenders the most comfortable. On the contrary, Explorers are independent,
sometimes to the extreme, which often renders them commitment-shy. Defenders’
domestic sanctuaries can feel like cozy prisons to Explorers, and they may resist
signing on to such a committed lifestyle for the long haul. If one seeks commitment

while the other yearns for freedom, the early stages of these relationships can
become fraught with difficulty.
Should Explorers decide to exercise their independent streaks, they might go off on
their own, hurting their Defender lovers who wonder why they don’t include them.
Explorers may harmlessly assume that Defenders aren’t interested in joining them
and believe they’re honoring the Defenders’ interests. Instead, Defenders may feel
as if their Explorer sweethearts don’t want them around. Defenders build their social
lives around the people in their households, and the idea of their partners excluding
them is painful.
Unkind Labeling
Defender–Explorer couples can easily fall into the trap of labeling each other
unkindly. Disparaging labels don’t even have to be said aloud to cause damage. Even
if it’s part of their internal self-talk, such assessment of loving partners can erode
relationships. Defenders may forget who they fell in love with, and begin using words
like “lazy” and “irresponsible” when the dishes remain unwashed. Explorers may
discover words like “uptight” and “boring” seeping into their consciousness when
their Defender partners insist on completing chores before taking a hike along the
river.
It doesn’t take a psychologist to guess where such labeling could lead. In time, there
may be a gradual loss of respect that permeates their entire relationship. Instead of
seeing the qualities that they once loved, Defenders and Explorers may only see the
negative labels they now apply.

Rebalancing Defender–Explorer Relationships
Respectful Communication
The key to countering roles that become too rigid or unbalanced may entail viewing
the imbalance as a respect issue. Defenders might consider respecting themselves
enough to reject carrying the burden of being the sole working member of the
household. If they find they’re playing the “parent” role too often, it may be time for
a talk. Communicating feelings and setting boundaries can re-establish balance.
There’s nothing wrong with saying, “I feel stressed too much of the time. If you took
care of the laundry occasionally, it might lift some of the pressure.” As a bonus,
Explorers taking on more responsibility could promote a greater sense of self-
respect. As they expand their contributions to the household, they might discover a
sense of being true equals, and that could positively impact their self-image.
However, Defenders should extend respect toward Explorers as well, and remember
that they fell in love with those who may have a higher tolerance for disorder and a
lower threshold for repetitive activity. When the dishes need doing, Explorers’
attention may be at locations other than the kitchen sink – but they’re probably not
that different from who they were when the sparks first flew. It’s usually destructive
to require partners to change their essential characteristics in loving relationships.
Nobody should confuse encouraging more responsibility with demanding it. Here
are some ways these couples can address this.
• Respectful communication includes airing problems and disappointments
while keeping in mind both Defenders and their Explorer lovers hold a
legitimate perspective.

• Compromise may be crucial to such communication, and drawing lines that
are too firm is probably unproductive. Explorers usually have a flexible
mindset. If Defenders borrow just a little of their outlook while relying on their
natural ability to organize and deal with practical problems, creative solutions
tend to appear.
• Perhaps playing music to energize Explorers and make house cleaning more
like a party is the key to getting more help.
• When bad labels seem to crop up in conversations, take a moment and write
down five good labels. Instead of “lazy” and “irresponsible,” find other words
like “creative” and “curious” to apply. Instead of “uptight” and “boring,” try
“caring” and “reliable.” Negative labels may show up occasionally. That doesn’t
mean they must be in charge.
Defender–Explorer romances present Defenders with wonderful opportunities to
expand their horizons. Following their Explorer lovers’ leads in reacting
spontaneously and learning to unclench their hold on the universe just a bit can be
most therapeutic. Everybody needs a break, including Defenders. All they need is the
willingness to permit themselves to try something new. Releasing themselves from
the routine may be a little frightening for them at first, but they’re likely not to
abandon their familiar discipline permanently. It’s an excursion into their Explorer
lovers’ worlds, not a permanent transfer.
Conclusion
While only a couple of other Sentinel types cherish home and hearth as much as
protective Defenders, this doesn’t mean domesticity lacks attraction for all other
types. Everybody needs to belong, and “home” – as a place or as an idea – can be one

of the most powerful ways of meeting that need. With the right chemistry up front,
and patience and tolerance later, there’s no such thing as a personality type that isn’t
a match for loyal, loving Defenders.

Friendships
Friendships
Warm, Cautious Connections
Given how warm and generous Defenders are, it’s not surprising that others enjoy
their company. However, earning their real friendship isn’t quick or easy. People with
this personality type are often shy and a little protective of themselves, and they need
to be able to connect through shared values. Most of Defenders’ friends are made
not during random encounters, but through comfortable, consistent contact, such as
in a class or in the workplace where they have the time to get to know each other
little by little.
A lot of what makes Defenders’ friendships grow is the mutual support, advice, and
reassurance that these companions give each other. These types crave positive
feedback, and admitting this need shows their vulnerability. If this openness is
handled with care, it creates the deep bonds that Defenders look for. If not,
friendship is unlikely to prosper.

Friendships
Giving Too Much, Asking Too Little
As their friendships develop, Defenders strive to meet their friends’ needs,
sometimes to the point of neglecting their own. For example, they may go clearly out
of their way to stick to even minor commitments, or try not to disagree for fear of
causing conflict. Cynical people might call this naïve, and may even take advantage
of it, but Defenders eventually push such people out of their lives.
True chums are touched by Defenders’ over-reaching generosity and try to return it
whenever possible. However, these types are often so tolerant and humble that they
fail to make their own needs known, leaving even very caring friends a little out of
the loop. Lopsided contributions to friendship, emotional or otherwise, may become
habitual despite the best of intentions – it’s difficult for other types to match the
selfless, caring hearts of Defenders.
Strong as Stone
While they’re known for being considerate, Defenders also have a resolute core that
gives them great fortitude. They may sometimes bend to the desires of others
instead of declaring their own, but they never lose sight of what they want. They often
use their inner strength to lift those they’re close to and are always ready with open
ears and kind words. Patient, practical, and principled, Defenders make for precious
pals.
These types draw much of their strength from the human connections in their lives.
They sincerely appreciate their friends’ support, and caring for others affirms their
sense of self. Defenders crave a world where people are responsible, trustworthy,
and kind. Having friendships where these values are practiced makes them happy.

Friendships
Commonality and Community
Defenders’ desire for stability is reflected in their choice of companions, as they like
being around those who share their values and culture. Friendships are likely to
flourish in environments that affirm the things they’ve adopted through their own
experiences. Of course, what’s compatible depends on individual Defenders’
personal histories. Anything from a traditional church to an established political
group could make it possible for them to find friendship through shared beliefs.
Defenders aren’t known for their cultural mobility, however, and they find comfort in
the familiar. These types may enjoy socializing in whatever community feels like
home, but rarely feel pulled to explore other ways of life. People who don’t share
their views and standards are unlikely to appeal as friends to Defenders, who may
even be disturbed by stark diversity. Highly non-confrontational, these types show
their disapproval by avoidance, and this can limit their social growth.
Pleasant Surprises
Of course, this isn’t to say that Defenders can’t build friendships with different types
of people – they just need a reason. If there’s one thing these types appreciate, it’s
finding others who feel as strongly as they do about the value of honest friendship.
Nearly any commendable personality facet, such as trustworthiness, can make
someone appealing to Defenders.
Defenders and Friends of Other Types

Defenders can enjoy friendship with almost anyone who meets such essential
standards. We’ll look at some of the virtues that these types can share with each Role
group through friendship, as well as some areas of potential difficulty. Most

Friendships
importantly, we’ll also go over some helpful things Defenders can do to make
friendships work with other personality types.
Defender–Analyst Friendships
Defender–Analyst friendships don’t usually benefit from quick, natural alignment,
but the potential is certainly there. The dynamic natures of Commanders and
Debaters can be understandably off-putting to Defenders, and there’s nothing wrong
with this. If anything, Defenders can teach Extraverted Analysts a lot about patience
and compassion if they’re willing to learn. When Defenders befriend these types,
they, in turn, gain gutsy, creative allies to help them through life’s toughest
challenges.
Balanced Defender–Analyst Friendships
Support and Assistance
Not all Analyst friends demand such thick skin, though. Defenders can be quite
drawn to the quieter, thoughtful natures of Logicians and Architects. It may not
always be easy to follow Logicians’ curious musings, but Defenders respect their

Friendships
desire for knowledge. Likewise, Architects’ purposeful – if sometimes clinical –
approach appeals to their sense of order and organization. Defenders offer Analyst
friends practical, graceful examples of the value of human understanding, and some
gentle counterpoints to their sharper edges. In turn, Defenders can access Analysts’
ingenuity to help their daily lives.
Incisive Perspectives
On the lighter side, Defenders appreciate Analyst friends’ witty humor, though it may
sometimes go too far. Analysts love to take things apart mentally, and their
observations on life’s frustrations can align nicely with Defenders’ discriminating
sensibilities. These friends usually have no trouble finding some complaints to share
about the world around them.
While this might seem negative, it can, in fact, be very comforting and affirming for
Defenders to find kindred souls who share similar frustrations. Both Defenders and
Analysts tend to have strong views and a thirst for sensibility. Being able to laugh off
stressful grievances brings these friends closer, and their bond ultimately helps them
to make positive changes together.
Unbalanced Defender–Analyst Friendships
Disheartening Disconnection
There are challenges, of course – Defenders often find Analysts to be unrealistic,
emotionally unavailable, or overly harsh. They may not be able to muster much
enthusiasm for Analysts’ grand ideas and esoteric plans, and may, in turn, be
disappointed by Analysts’ indifference to their more grounded interests. These two

Friendships
types may struggle to agree on mutually fulfilling ways to spend their time and
energy together.
Defenders are also quite often disappointed by Analysts’ neglectful attitude toward
maintaining friendships. Analysts think nothing of long silences or absences between
good chums, but this seems downright bizarre to Defenders, who all but define the
quality of social relationships by their consistency and attentiveness. It takes time
and effort for them to develop a good rapport, and if Analysts aren’t present often
enough, Defenders won’t find their friendship worthwhile.
One-Sided Communication
Another likely problem in Defender–Analyst friendships is imbalanced
communication. Analysts love to talk about their opinions and may dominate
conversations and decisions within their friendships. Defenders aren’t likely to take
on the ordeal of arguing with even trusted Analyst friends, and Analysts may mistake
their quiet tolerance for agreement.
This tends to make expressing anything from heartfelt views on life to preferences
on where to eat lunch frustrating for Defenders. They can quickly become
overshadowed by Analysts’ notable lack of consideration. Defenders’ equally
remarkable grace and patience only go so far, and they might get fed up if they can’t
find a way to make their own needs known.
Rebalancing Defender–Analyst Friendships
Connecting Through Each Other’s Virtues
Defenders and Analysts can build connection despite their differences by
appreciating the benefits of shared companionship. Defenders tend to foster subtle

Friendships
but critical strengths that Analysts often lack: humility, kindness, and practicality.
They can offer to smooth out the social friction that Analysts often experience due to
their intellectual bluster and emotional ineptitude, helping them to be happier and
more successful with people.
In return, Defenders like how intelligent Analyst friends can enhance their lives.
Analysts love beating life’s challenges, and gladly step in to aid Defenders who are
intimidated by the world’s often unkind assaults. Defenders can call on Analyst
friends’ creativity – they love being asked about their opinions and methods.
Frequently requesting and offering advice back and forth is a great way for these
friends to get past differences and gain each other’s strengths.
Firm Honesty
It’s difficult to open up to Analysts, who can be insensitive, but it’s a perfect chance
for Defenders to build self-confidence by expressing their needs. Here are some
hints Defenders can keep in mind.
• If they calmly explain to Analysts how their behavior and decisions affect their
friendship, they’ll get results. It can be as simple as saying, “We usually go to
your favorite pizza place, but pizza all the time makes me not want to go out.
I’d really like Thai food tonight.”
• There’s no rational argument against mutual respect and care in friendship,
and while Analysts understand this, they often need firm direction in such
matters.
• Getting past Analysts’ emotional blindness goes both ways, and Defenders
may have to work at drawing out their friends’ deeper needs, thoughts, and
feelings.

Friendships
• Analysts are unlikely to be in tune with their own emotions or discuss them
without prompting. Putting such questions bluntly and logically may be best,
as this is Analysts’ communication style.
• Simply asking Analysts what they prefer, are willing to do, and how they feel
can get Defenders the information they need to take good care of their Analyst
friends.
Functioning, fair friendships with Analysts are certainly rewarding. Defenders can
offer Analysts a friendly ear for their intellectual ranting, and help soothe their
frustration with a dysfunctional world. Caring for others is often quite a rewarding
feeling for Defenders, and Analysts in particular need understanding, tolerant
friends.
In turn, Defenders find clever, thoughtful support from their Analyst friends, whose
vigorous minds are always at the ready. Having motivated Analysts as friends can
feel like divine intervention when life’s problems threaten, and Defenders shouldn’t
hesitate to befriend these types.
Defender–Diplomat Friendships

Friendships
Defender–Diplomat friendships can be some of the most enjoyable among
personality types. Both types value cooperation, social harmony, and tend to share
a genuine desire to be supportive. Not only that, but ideals that Diplomats hold dear
– fairness, kindness, and generosity – resonate pleasantly with Defenders’
sentimental values. Advocates and Mediators are especially natural fits for
Defenders, as their shared Introversion makes them easy to spend time with. The
way that Protagonists and Campaigners mix energy with idealism holds appeal to
Defenders as well – who, in turn, offer these types a cautious perspective to balance
their headstrong enthusiasm.
Balanced Defender–Diplomat Friendships
Harmonious Ideals
One of the most rewarding results of Defender–Diplomat friendship is when they
cooperate to bring their values into reality. Diplomats never tire of sharing their ideas
for how the world could be better, and who better than Defenders to find practical
ways to make such ideas come to fruition.
While Defenders may sometimes find Diplomats (especially Prospecting types) a little
too whimsical, they nonetheless appreciate the beauty of their fanciful notions. The
way these things seem to bubble up from nowhere intrigues Defenders, as their own
thoughts tend to be based on careful consideration. When these pals decide on
action together, their unique but complementary natures make everyone’s lives
better.

Friendships
Joy and Discovery
Defenders may not be very adventurous as a rule, but Diplomats’ considerate,
empathetic companionship may be the perfect outlet for them to explore and try
new things. Diplomat friends are unlikely to push Defenders out of their comfort
zones too quickly, as they tend to be very attentive to their feelings. In this supportive
atmosphere, Defenders can drop their defenses, take a few risks and grow, knowing
they have these caring friends at their side.
The flip side is how sensible and wise Defenders can be – they help keep wilder
Diplomat friends out of trouble (or, at least, warned and kindly consoled). Diplomats
appreciate the way Defenders create a smooth path through life, avoiding conflict
and getting things done. Their focused dedication may seem like magic to Diplomats
who feel lost in the chaos. When these comrades each put their best feet forward,
they can balance idealism and practicality to bring strength and joy to one another’s
lives.
Unbalanced Defender–Diplomat Friendships
Different Realities
Unfortunately, even shared values of peace and harmony can clash if they’re
expressed through various cultures or belief systems. Defenders often look to the
past for tried and true examples of what works best, while Diplomats happily
embrace revolutionary change. A classic example is that of traditionally religious
Defenders clashing with progressive, atheist Diplomats – they might feel as though
they’re living in different worlds.

Friendships
A more general example is how Diplomats often embrace wild ideas and chase
unrealistic but beautiful dreams. Defender friends might find this behavior tiring,
preferring more realistic efforts to achieve the possible in the here and now. These
types like a stable foundation in life, and can be concerned by how fast Diplomats –
especially Campaigners and Mediators – embrace change. Frustration may result if
these chums can’t reconcile their very different approaches to universal ideals.
Chancy Business
Watching friends fall into things that seem imprudent or even perilous isn’t easy for
Defenders. Whether it’s dubious romantic interests, implausible beliefs, or
precarious financial habits, Diplomats’ passionate embracing of life can alarm
Defenders. They often feel powerless to avert their pals’ questionable decisions, and
are afraid to offend them by expressing their disagreement.
These types may also run into trouble if they share contrary advice with their
Diplomat friends. To Diplomats, this can feel like someone stepping all over their
dreams, no matter how kindly it’s delivered. Defenders may be aghast that
something seemingly flawed holds appeal for Diplomats, and likewise, Diplomats
may be frustrated by their Defender friends’ rejection of fantastical possibilities.
Defenders can only handle so much stress, and at some point, these companions
may drift apart.
Rebalancing Defender–Diplomat Friendships
Gentle Respect
Friendships between Defenders and Diplomats are among the few where the
Observant and Intuitive traits can easily come into harmony. Defenders may be

Friendships
sensitive, but Diplomats’ deep empathy – and the fact that Defenders gladly
reciprocate – go a long way toward building lasting relationships. There’s little doubt
that Defenders and Diplomat friends can care for each other, but it requires each
type to share their needs honestly. Here are some things Defenders can keep in
mind.
• Unlike rebalancing communication with Analysts (which relies on highlighting
the adverse effects of behavior), Defenders and their Diplomat friends can
explain how each other’s behavior makes them feel.
• All that’s needed is a gentle tone and heartfelt honesty, as these personality
types are both caring listeners.
• When these allies realize that their words or actions are hurting each other,
their differing approaches can be put aside in favor of the common emotional
ideals they share. Open communication makes this far easier.
Stepping In
Respectful support is appreciated, but Defenders can also recognize when it’s time
to actively offer their advice and help to their Diplomat friends. Some steps they can
take include the following.
• Diplomats are dreamers, but there are moments when a more grounded
perspective is vital, even if it isn’t requested.
• Intervention isn’t easy for Defenders to initiate, but they may regret
withholding their much-needed guidance for the sake of emotional
consideration.
• If their advice is ignored, Defenders can make it clear that they support their
Diplomat friends while holding true to their perspective. They may have to

Friendships
accept an ongoing stream of fanciful ideas and choices from Diplomats – it’s
who they are.
• If Diplomats move in disturbing directions, Defenders can take solace in
knowing that they tried to help, and refuse to be drawn in. Avoiding
participation in things they truly dislike is an important part of Defenders’
personal development, and helps them maintain fair and respectful
friendships with Diplomats.
Defender–Sentinel Friendships
Other Sentinels are a good fit for Defenders, who share their appreciation for
dependability and practicality. These friendships center around day-to-day activities
and life in general, rather than ambition or curiosity. Having someone steadfast and
sensible in their lives is no small consideration for both these types.

Friendships
Balanced Defender–Sentinel Friendships
Reassuring Steadiness
Sentinels’ social leanings may appeal to Defenders as well, whether such friends are
Introverts or Extraverts. Either way, their discussions are likely to revolve around
work, life, and recent events. Sentinels aren’t big on esoteric topics, grand plans, and
theoretical analyses. In fact, Defenders often consider it an opportunity missed when
broad, impersonal topics dominate a discussion instead of using that time to catch
up with each other. Among Sentinel friends, Defenders can find comfortable
connection rather than intellectual grandstanding or ideological debate.
When emotionally charged situations and major life events do occur, Defenders
appreciate how Sentinel friends stand by their side through thick and thin. They may
not be comfortable with public attention, but they enjoy knowing Sentinel friends are
always there with rock-solid support.
Stability in Action
Favoring stable foundations doesn’t mean that Defender–Sentinel friends don’t care
about progress. However, where Intuitive or Prospecting types see the future as a
road with many distracting branches, Defenders want to be trains on a track with
everything moving in a controlled direction. Having Sentinel friends who share the
same organized way of living is like having additional engines to help drive their train
forward. These friends can reinforce each other’s progress in life.
When Defenders need help restoring order to their lives, the judicious, practical
touch of Sentinel friends is perfect, and they, in turn, appreciate Defenders’
prudence. Whether requiring discerning solutions or needing soothing reassurance,

Friendships
these pals are likely to become cores of support for each other. Together, they create
a safe, reliable place from which to act with confidence, helping both these types stay
on track.
Relatable Differences
Personality traits that Defenders find challenging in some types may be a little easier
to handle in Sentinels. For example, Consuls’ sociable, kind way of expressing
Extraversion is likely to appeal to Defenders and can inspire them to engage with
people. When it comes to the Thinking trait, Logisticians’ practical rationality is easier
for Defenders to appreciate than the sophisticated theorizing of Analysts. Even the
steely nature of Executives makes some sense to Defenders, as they see how
effective it is at getting things done.
Sentinel friends offer Defenders doorways to personal balance, challenging some of
their limits while staying soberly grounded alongside them in the present. Shared
values focusing on stability, pragmatism, and dedication make friendships within this
Role a good way for Defenders to learn and grow, as well as find rewarding bonds.
Commonality helps these chums see eye to eye while they learn from each other’s
differing approaches to life.
Unbalanced Defender–Sentinel Friendships
Social Binds
Defenders’ unwavering support may put them in a tight spot if friends have a falling-
out, and Sentinels aren’t immune to social problems. In fact, because they value
structure so much, Sentinels often care about status in social hierarchies. Defenders
feel a need to create peace among their companions and define their self-esteem in

Friendships
large part by their loyalty. Being pulled in different directions by people they care
about can be agonizing for these sensitive types.
There’s hardly a good way out of these situations once they’ve begun. Defenders
rarely let themselves abandon feuding friends, but may withdraw emotionally to
protect themselves. This doesn’t mean that they stop being supportive, but they
might not express themselves honestly, trying to stay neutral rather than pick a side.
Repressed Defenders aren’t happy Defenders, and being caught in the middle wears
them down.
Creeping Dullness
Defenders and Sentinel friends are likely to take up a safe, predictable routine
together. Their shared unwillingness to try new things or expand boundaries can
hold back their development on many fronts. Not only might these friends miss out
on a lot of fun, but they may also allow each other to become comfortable with the
mediocre instead of striving for the greatness within them.
While sharing repetitive stability provides a sense of comfort, Defender–Sentinel
friends may find the world passing them by. If it were merely the social world, this
might seem acceptable, but opportunities for personal growth, gain, and
advancement may also be missed. These comrades may do each other a disservice
if they don’t step out of their comfort zones together now and then to see what life
has to offer, and what they’re truly capable of.

Friendships
Rebalancing Defender–Sentinel Friendships
Stealthy Peacemakers
While Defenders may not feel comfortable taking a stand between friends who are
at odds, they need not feel powerless in such situations. These types can fairly
support both sides by acting as objective observers, and perhaps even secret
negotiators. Their strong ethics and great empathy make them well-suited to see
where both sides are coming from. They can keep these thoughts in mind as they do
so.
• Defenders can avoid playing referee and instead use their caring perspective
to privately advise their friends on setting things right.
• Sharing their heartfelt concern for both parties may provide a noble example
that motivates others.
• Defenders don’t need to push their friends down the right path, but they can
make it look very appealing.
• Learning to be bold enough to exercise their wisdom in this way can heal
Defenders’ social anguish when conflicts arise.
Sensible Change
Defenders and their Sentinel friends can keep the following in mind when keeping
an eye not just on each other’s comfort and happiness, but on what truly benefits
each other in the long-term.
• Both types can advise each other when harmful stagnation occurs, and offer
support and companionship when change is needed.

Friendships
• When this means embracing a challenge or a new thing, these friends can
open each other’s minds as well as hold each other’s hands.
This applies to recreational pursuits as much as the rest of life. There’s no need to
leap off a cliff or take significant risks, but sampling new types of fun with trustworthy
Sentinel friends may lead to happy discoveries that Defenders wouldn’t find on their
own. Engaging the unknown, at least occasionally, is a wise way for these friends to
explore their potential while sharing good times together.
Defender–Explorer Friendships
Explorers’ friendship offers Defenders some intimidating opportunities. Explorers
live for the pleasures of the moment rather than stability, and this can seem reckless
to Defenders. However, these friendships help Defenders understand that not all
worthy people are as reserved as they are. Explorers’ ability to lose themselves in the
moment can be a refreshing counterpoint to Defenders’ reluctance.

Friendships
Balanced Defender–Explorer Friendships
Zest for Life
These types benefit from being led into childlike curiosity by Explorer friends. Letting
go and simply moving along with experiences – instead of always planning them –
may do them good. It may be alarming at first, but in mild recreational matters where
little is at stake, Defenders can practice relinquishing control. Learning to go with the
flow is a useful model for these types to master, though perhaps not adopt.
Offering Guidance
Defenders can appreciate how Explorers’ passion leads to exciting discoveries, but
such carefree enthusiasm may also have unintended consequences. This is where
Defenders really shine in such friendships. When they earn Explorers’ trust, they can
become respected voices of caution. While not expecting Explorers to share their
sense of moderation, Defenders can offer a steadying hand with just the right
amount of reservation to prevent calamity.
Defenders who come to trust Explorer friends can accept a hand to pull them out of
their limited, protective shells into some well-deserved gratification. They can also
look to Explorers not only for inspiration but for practical help when they want to
follow their own needs and ideas.
Surprising Capability
Defenders might expect that Explorers’ more spontaneous style, which is so different
from their methodical, dedicated approach, hampers accomplishments. However,
while Explorers may change their minds frequently, they do tend to throw
themselves into interests that are truly important to them with great success.

Friendships
When these interests align with Defenders’ own, they find Explorer pals to be
excellent companions in many ways. For example, as fellow Introverts, Adventurers’
tender hearts and quiet curiosity can show Defenders new territory without too
much stress. Defenders also appreciate the practical, hands-on side of their Explorer
friends. For example, the intense way Virtuosos pursue their ideas is impressive even
to such an organized type as Defenders.
Motivation and Elasticity
Defenders can benefit from the undaunted spirit of Explorers as well. While the
Extraverted energy of Entrepreneur and Entertainer friends can be a lot to handle,
Defenders can follow the trails they blaze. What Explorers lack in steadiness, they
make up for with zeal, a boon to Defenders needing help to get moving toward their
goals. More than that, Explorers approach experiences and challenges with a
flexibility that Defenders can learn from.
In turn, Defenders’ abilities may surprise Explorer chums, especially when aimed at
a common goal. Explorers grab for what they want, and as masters of sensible
planning, Defenders are likely to help them get it with minimal effort. Defenders are
demure, and their careful thoughtfulness beautifully balances Explorers’ lively
adaptability. When these friends share a motivation, each is impressed by what the
other can do.
Unbalanced Defender–Explorer Friendships
Dangerous Games
Defenders are likely to be skeptical of, or even disturbed by, their Explorer
companions’ life choices. Explorers’ uninhibited lifestyle and impetuous decisions

Friendships
often go beyond Defenders’ boundaries of acceptance. It’s not in Defenders’ nature
to abandon or oppose friends they disagree with, so they may instead get swept up
in stressful drama.
Even if Explorers understand Defenders’ doubts and fears, they may ignore them,
either pushing Defenders into things or deserting them for the duration. The
steadfastness that Defenders hold in such high regard can vanish into thin air as
Explorers act on their compulsions. The effects of freedom-loving Explorers simply
following their hearts can feel devastating to concerned Defender friends.
Expectation and Disappointment
Another area where the fickle interests of Explorer friends can be troubling for
Defenders is planning. Defenders thrive on predictability and organization, and quite
simply, Explorers don’t. While it might be tolerable in small doses, Explorers
frequently being late for, altering, or even breaking social engagements is likely to be
deeply frustrating to Defenders.
Defenders’ desire for thoughtful, emotional treatment may also be disappointed by
Explorer friends, despite their best intentions. Explorers are usually quite earnest,
but while their care is sincere, it may not be consistent, as they’re easily pulled in new
directions. Defenders may be hurt by Explorers’ odd combination of deep
engagement and sudden absences.
Rebalancing Defender–Explorer Friendships
Respecting Limits and Needs
To achieve balance within friendship, Defenders and Explorers need to consciously
respect and accept their differences. Here are some ways they can approach this.

Friendships
• Both must understand when it’s time to say “enough” and communicate their
needs gently, respectfully, and honestly. Protesting is far harder for Defenders
to do than Explorers, but necessary.
• When Defenders reach their limits, Explorer friends can avoid pulling them too
far out of their comfort zone. A quiet night in together with takeout and a
movie is a good way for these friends to share some fun when Defenders have
had enough adventure.
• Likewise, Defenders can stretch themselves when Explorers need company
doing something bold and daring, as long as it’s not too risky or too often.
• There may also be times when these friends are wise to just give each other
some space.
• When Explorers engage something too extreme for Defenders to support,
Defenders can use compassionate detachment – letting their friends be wild
and free without them for a while.
• In turn, Explorers can appreciate Defenders’ respect, even if it doesn’t always
come with approval or participation.
These friends may test each other, but in this, there are many opportunities for
growth. Friendship itself can be the common focus, with an understanding that
sometimes compromises must be made for the sake of worthy friends. This kind of
consideration is second nature for Defenders, but they must ask for and receive the
same in return for these friendships to work.
Conclusion
Many types tend to be unapologetic about their own needs and interests, and their
friends can either join or go their way. This kind of radical individualism feels foreign

Friendships
to Defenders, who prefer intimate bonds of trust and community. Because of this,
friendships between Defenders and other personality types require lots of
allowances. Defenders need not feel guilty when they choose to step back, and their
friends need not feel judged. For Defenders, giving themselves and their friends
room to be themselves is a necessary form of care, knowing they can come back
together later for something they both enjoy.

Parenthood
Parenthood
Defenders’ warmth and care make parenting a task that often comes naturally to
them, and many believe it’s the work they were born to do. Often perceived as ideal
parents, people with the Defender personality type are there for their children, but
also know there’s more to people than meets the eye, and respect these differences
– even if they don’t always understand them.
Balanced Defender Parenting
Patience and Caring
From the start, Defenders’ altruism is apparent in their parenting approach, as they
strive to ensure a safe, stable environment filled with love, care, and support. Their
patience comes in handy as their children learn to become more independent and
test any limit they can find. While they expect their children to be respectful and well-
behaved, these expectations are well-balanced with their understanding of their kids’
needs and behaviors, allowing them to truly thrive as individuals.

Parenthood
Reliable and Responsible
Parenting isn’t easy for any personality type – not if they’re doing it right – but
Defenders do have the advantage of not just being caring, but also thoughtful and
responsible in how they administer that care. These types take lots of pleasure in the
personal responsibility of ensuring that their children grow up healthy, confident,
and successful. At the same time, they’re humble, and don’t take their natural skill
for granted.
As very traditional personality types, Defenders are likely to accept traditional roles,
with clearly defined parent-child relationships. They see their responsibility (and
often rightly so) as being an imparter of their wisdom and values, ensuring that their
children understand the importance of dedication and accountability. Defenders are
reliable, and view parenting as their ultimate responsibility.
Unbalanced Defender Parenting
Overly Attached
Defenders may be taken by surprise when their children transition – seemingly
overnight – from the complete dependence of their infant years to the deep desire
for independence that occurs during adolescence. They may struggle when their
older, more independent sons and daughters deem their previously appreciated love
and support as “overbearing” or “unnecessary.” Kids who previously craved their
parents’ affection and acceptance may no longer seek either. This can be a difficult
pill for Defenders to swallow, especially if they take this perfectly normal
developmental behavior personally.

Parenthood
Defenders’ deep desire to feel needed, especially by their children, can also translate
into a tendency to become a bit heavy-handed. While they rarely resort to
confrontation to convince their children to heed their advice, they may find
themselves attempting to “convince” them to do so using more subtle techniques like
guilt or even the cold shoulder. This can turn toxic if it occurs too frequently, or if
Defenders are unaware they’re engaging in these behaviors to get their way.
Perfectionistic Expectations
Although they’re generally understanding, Defenders may set unrealistically high
expectations for both themselves and their children. They expect to not just meet
their kids’ needs but excel at doing so by making sure that delicious, healthy food is
on the table for every meal, the house is always spotless, and their children are
constantly on their best behavior. Anything less than perfect can feel like a failure for
Defenders, making them constantly feel like they aren’t “succeeding” as parents.
These parents often become uncomfortable when their children don’t behave as
they should, especially in public. While they’re generally understanding about their
kids’ capabilities, they always promote respectful behavior and truly despise
confrontation. Some children may exploit their Defender parents’ desire to avoid
confrontation and embarrassing social behavior by stretching their boundaries in
public. Defenders may, in their desire to appear to be “perfect” parents, allow their
sons and daughters to take advantage of their calm, conflict-avoidant personality by
letting them ignore their requests and do things they normally wouldn’t allow. This
can make Defender parents feel taken advantage of and resentful – as if all their hard
work and sacrifice isn’t appreciated by their children.

Parenthood
Rebalancing Defender Parenting
Learn to Let Go
The desire to feel needed is powerful for Defenders, and it’s generally fulfilled
throughout their children’s early years. Unfortunately, as kids get older, they begin
to exercise independence and develop their sense of identity. Consequently, they
may reject some of the affection and input they’d accepted from their parents so
willingly in the past. These types sacrifice many of their own needs and desires when
they become parents. While this is necessary to an extent, it can leave them feeling
lost and uncertain about their own identities when their children leave the nest.
Defender moms and dads can benefit from learning to let go of the desire to be
needed – and embrace the freedom that they gain as their children’s independence
increases. Here are some steps Defenders can take toward accepting their kids’
moving on.
• Modeling the active pursuit of their own personal development is helpful for
both Defender parents and their children.
• Engaging in hobbies, participating in spiritual practices, and taking classes to
learn something new (or to further existing skills) are just a few of the things
that Defenders can do to model personal growth and identity development.
• These pursuits not only provide personal satisfaction, but they also
demonstrate different ways to develop greater personal understanding to
children who are attempting to find their own identities.
Re-Evaluate Expectations
As parents, Defenders may believe that they should be able to do it all – to be perfect
parents/spouses/employees/etc. – while neglecting to take care of themselves and

Parenthood
refusing to ask for help from others. Under this kind of self-imposed stress, these
types may become personally offended when their children misbehave, appear
ungrateful, or reject their affection or assistance.
In these cases, their expectations as parents aren’t always in line with what’s realistic
or even appropriate. Self-care is necessary for Defenders to function in ways where
they’re meeting both their own needs and their kids’ needs effectively. Allowing their
children to grow and build separate identities (while still encouraging proper
behavior) is a fundamental part of both their own and their kids’ development. Each
stage of their children’s development requires modifications in their expectations.
This is discussed in greater detail in the sections below.
Parenting for Each Stage of Development

Each stage of childhood growth presents both unique challenges and exciting
milestones. Learning how to navigate these stages may seem daunting, but the
opportunities to build healthy attachment and create meaningful memories make it
worth the struggle.
Renowned psychologist Erik Erikson proposed a theory of psychosocial development
that identified eight stages, five of which take place between birth and 18 years of
age. In this section, we discuss how the strengths and weaknesses of the Defender
personality type may affect their parenting at each of the first five stages of
psychosocial development.

Parenthood
Building Bonds (Birth–1½ Years)
According to Erikson, the stages of infancy and early childhood last from birth until
approximately three years of age. Children in these stages are very dependent on
their parents to meet their needs. This is also when the bonds of attachment are
created by meeting early childhood needs, developing trusting relationships, and
promoting autonomy.
The priority for infants in their journey to attachment is having their basic needs met.
From being fed to receiving affection, infants learn to either trust that their parents
can provide for them, or they suffer from a sense of mistrust in all their subsequent
relationships. If parents are inconsistent in providing for their children, or are
particularly violent or neglectful, they’ll have difficulty creating positive, trusting
attachments with their infants. Attentive, affectionate parents – especially those who
engage in consistent physical contact such as snuggling or transporting their children
in baby carriers on their body – develop trusting, hopeful relationships with their
infants and are likely to have minimal difficulty building comfortable attachments.
Balanced Infant Parenting
Building Bonds
Defenders excel at providing structure for their children and are certainly able to
meet their infants’ needs. Reliability is crucial in building relationships with infants,
and Defender parents are likely to be very attentive to their babies by reliably
feeding, changing, and comforting them when necessary. Most Defenders truly savor
the infant stage where their children rely on them entirely, and won’t hesitate to
provide for them consistently and lovingly.

Parenthood
Defender parents thrive on feeling needed, which can provide them with much-
needed motivation during the extraordinarily draining infant stage. Where some
parents may struggle with maintaining energy during this phase, and suffer from
mood swings or other inconsistent behaviors, Defenders’ reliability and desire to feel
needed allow them to not only survive this stage but even enjoy it. Their constant
and consistent attention and affection create the foundation for building trust and
instilling hope in their babies – an intrinsic understanding that they’re cared for,
supported, and can rely on those around them to meet their needs.
Unbalanced Infant Parenting
Lack of Self-Care
Although they’re doting, attentive, and responsible parents, Defenders may have
difficulty asking for help or taking care of themselves. While it’s necessary to devote
a large amount of time and energy to caring for young children, these types may
become absorbed in their desire to meet all their babies’ needs as well as those of
other family members, friends, coworkers, or anyone else who seems to need help.
This can lead to burnout as well as feelings of resentment or bitterness when they
don’t receive acknowledgment or gratitude for the services they provide.
The infant and toddler years are some of the most difficult that parents face, as their
children are helpless and entirely dependent upon them as caregivers. This
combination of high levels of stress and a lack of willingness to seek help from others,
especially when combined with a lack of self-care, significantly increases the
likelihood that Defenders can suffer from burnout, frustration, resentment, and even
depression.

Parenthood
Rebalancing Infant Parenting
Seeking Support and Solace
Balancing their needs with those of their children is one of the most important things
that Defender parents can learn. Here are some ways these parents can carve out
some all-important “me time”:
• Self-care can be something as simple as taking a thirty-minute bath a couple
of times a week. Taking one afternoon per week to meet with friends, or
scheduling some time alone, can also provide Defender parents time to
recharge.
• Even a five-minute “time out” to clear their minds and relax their bodies can
help those with young children re-center themselves and increase their
patience.
• Writing down their thoughts for a few minutes each day may help Defender
parents work through their thoughts. It can also allow them to document both
milestones and meaningful moments in their infants’ day-to-day lives.
Equally as important as engaging in intentional self-care for Defenders is learning to
allow others to help them. There’s no shame in asking for help – in fact, the opposite
is true! Defenders who admit when they need help and accept offers of help from
others will likely find themselves happier, calmer, and more effective in their
parenting endeavors. Here are some small steps these parents can take toward
accepting the help they need.
• Taking trusted relatives up on babysitting offers and allowing spouses to take
over bedtime duties a couple of nights a week not only helps Defender

Parenthood
parents, it also provides their infants with the chance to build their
relationships with others who love them.
• Paying someone to clean the house or do the yard work once a month can
make a big difference in the lives of Defender parents.
• Additionally, learning to say no to the requests of others when they don’t have
the time or energy can help Defenders find a more beneficial balance between
helping others and meeting their own needs.
Testing Boundaries (1½–3 Years)
Once they’re mobile, young children become very interested in exploring their
environment with their senses. Crawling, walking, grabbing items, putting things in
their mouths, and verbal communication are just a few of the ways that toddlers
learn about the world around them. During this stage, parents must provide a safe
harbor for their children while still allowing them to experience and explore their
surroundings. Children who can test boundaries yet still receive parental support
and encouragement develop a sense of autonomy. Children who are overly
restricted, criticized, or made to feel guilty for their desire to test boundaries
ultimately experience a sense of shame, and may suffer from feelings of
incompetence or low self-worth.
Balanced Toddler Parenting
Patient and Supportive
Defenders’ endless reserves of patience are particularly useful during the difficult
toddler years. These parents enjoy promoting their children’s curiosity and
independence while still maintaining a safe environment. They take great pleasure

Parenthood
in helping their little ones learn how to pick out their own clothes and dress
themselves, and how to use and manipulate toys and tools such as forks and spoons.
Defenders tend to find great joy in watching and documenting every one of their
children’s milestones.
Incredibly supportive, Defenders make an ideal “home base” for their kids during this
stage as well. Their consistency and reliability ensure that their toddlers never feel
abandoned, ignored, or unloved. Even though children at this age are incredibly
independent, they still crave (and need) trustworthy caregivers that meet all their
needs, and Defenders don’t disappoint.
Unbalanced Toddler Parenting
Overly-Worried and Overwhelmed
On the flip side, this stage can be especially challenging for Defender parents as they
struggle to accept their children’s desire to push boundaries. There’s a delicate
balance to be achieved between providing a safe space to explore and not overly
controlling their children’s environment. Toddlers who wish to do things
independently become increasingly frustrated by parents who continually deny them
these opportunities.
Defender parents may tip the scales too far the other direction as well, especially if
they have little support from other family members or friends during this stage.
Overwhelmed Defenders can become permissive, allowing their children to become
dominant and overbearing. Toddlers of permissive parents can become bossy and
erratic in their behavior due to a lack of discipline – further overwhelming their
already frustrated parents.

Parenthood
Rebalancing Toddler Parenting
Developing Age-Appropriate Boundaries
Children at this stage seek both security and increasing autonomy, and Defender
parents tend to need to improve their flexibility to help promote their children’s
independence. Testing boundaries is healthy at this stage, and Defenders need to
tow the fine line between patiently supporting their toddlers’ desires to explore and
upholding important rules to ensure safety. Here are some helpful hints Defenders
can keep in mind.
• Finding ways to involve toddlers in household chores, or giving them options
such as, “Would you like to wear your red shirt or blue shirt today?” can
enhance not only their skills but their sense of autonomy and achievement as
well.
• On the other hand, little ones who are given too much freedom without firm
boundaries during this stage tend to have greater difficulties controlling their
emotions and behaviors in the future.
• Defender parents who are too permissive, either due to exhaustion or to avoid
confrontation, should seek support from family members, friends, or
professionals who can help them.
• Increasing their confidence and enlisting support – from periodic babysitting
to help with a bedtime routine – can make an enormous difference for
Defenders struggling to uphold boundaries.

Parenthood
Thirst for Knowledge (3–5 Years)
The preschool years, from about three to five years of age, are a prime time for brain
development, and children at this stage accumulate knowledge at an extraordinary
rate. Preschoolers absorb information like sponges through constant activity and a
seemingly infinite amount of questions. Learning at this juncture takes place through
play, especially the unstructured kind, and lots of social interaction with family and
peers. Creativity is also exercised extensively through imaginary play and make-
believe games and stories.
To master this stage, little ones must be given the opportunity to not only make some
of their own decisions, but also be allowed to initiate activities, ask questions (and
receive answers) and lead others in exploratory play. Children who aren’t given these
opportunities, or are made to feel as though their constant questions are annoying,
can experience feelings of guilt, frustration, and a lack of competence. Consequently,
they may suffer from poor self-control or a lack of initiative.
Balanced Preschool Parenting
Incredibly Altruistic
Defenders are natural teachers, and between their altruism and patience, they make
educating their children appear effortless. Playing games, engaging in artistic and
other creative projects, and practicing letters and numbers are often natural parts of
Defender parents’ days. They happily answer their preschool children’s seemingly
ceaseless stream of questions and take great pleasure in modeling practical skills,
such as sweeping or washing dishes. Imparting their knowledge in practical, useful
ways is one of Defender parents’ greatest strengths.

Parenthood
Despite being Introverted, these types often have deep connections with friends,
family, and community groups that they’re involved with such as clubs, church
groups, volunteer groups, or their children’s schools. This network of connections
can be widely utilized by Defenders to provide both learning and play opportunities
for their preschoolers. It’s important for these parents that their kids have
opportunities to socialize with others, and they can utilize these connections to
prioritize both unstructured free play opportunities and more structured
experiences like play dates, classes, or sports.
Unbalanced Preschool Parenting
Lacking Flexibility
Although they love promoting learning, Defenders may have difficulty following their
children’s lead during the preschool years. They may push their kids to achieve
educational goals based on unrealistic expectations, such as drilling them on letters,
sight words, or math functions before they’re ready or able to truly comprehend
these concepts. Rather than allowing them to learn organically, Defenders may be
tempted to push educational expectations on their little ones – which ultimately
leads to frustrations and anger for both parents and preschoolers.
Another area Defender parents may have difficulty with is truly embracing
unstructured play. These parents may fall prey to the idea that free play isn’t as
valuable as “educational” play or structured activities, and may focus their energy on
providing learning experiences rather than allowing their children to take the lead. If
they take their love of routine and structure overboard, Defender parents may leave
too little room for their preschoolers to make discoveries and even important
mistakes that they need to develop competence and initiative.

Parenthood
Rebalancing Preschool Parenting
Increasing Flexibility
Learning to gauge their kids’ developmental readiness may be difficult for Defenders
who have become too focused on early achievement. Here are some ways Defender
parents can focus on allowing them to develop readiness organically.
• Preschoolers don’t need an excessive number of classes, “educational” toys
and games, or structured learning periods throughout the day. Playing with
simple toys allows them to engage their imagination, the key building block for
developing learning abilities.
• Defenders should also take time to participate in play with their children. A
game of kickball in the backyard, or sitting on the floor putting puzzles
together or playing with toys are all great ways to both model the benefits of
play and to enhance the parent-child bond.
• Unstructured play time is of vital importance for children at this stage to gain
competence, confidence, and initiative. Defenders must learn to let their
children have plenty of free play time without an agenda – ideally with plenty
of time outdoors in nature.
• Defender parents can use their routine developing skills to build in time each
day for their children to play freely, without structure-specific desired
outcomes. Preschoolers who are given these types of freedom gain confidence
in their abilities, and may be more inclined to seek educational opportunities
later in life.

Parenthood
Creating Competence (5–12 Years)
The early school years are a critical period of skill development for young children.
Not only are they still always absorbing new information, but they’re also working on
becoming proficient in increasingly complex areas, from mathematics to athletics.
Children who are both challenged and supported by parents and other caregivers
increase their abilities and self-confidence. If they don’t receive consistent support,
kids at this stage may begin to feel inferior to their peers and may be less likely to
work toward achieving long-term goals. If they aren’t sufficiently challenged, kids may
start to feel overconfident in themselves and their abilities, and may lack modesty
and compassion toward others.
Balanced School-Age Parenting
Humble and Encouraging
Striving to be “ideal” students themselves, Defenders tend to promote obedience,
attentiveness, and respect for authority in their children as well. The school years,
whether spent in a traditional educational environment or not, focus on skills
development and obtaining proficiency. Defender parents provide the necessary
structure and support to help their kids succeed, whether it’s helping with
homework, finding tutors, or even just providing consistent encouragement when
they become frustrated.
Defenders, while very supportive and encouraging, balance these traits out well with
their focus on humility and hard work. They’re no strangers to hard work themselves,
and can encourage kids of all levels and abilities to achieve their personal best.
Defender parents are proud of their children’s accomplishments; however, they
loathe arrogance and won’t hesitate to call out kids engaging in cocky or pretentious

Parenthood
behavior. Humility is one of Defenders’ greatest values, and it’s one that they tend to
go to great lengths to promote.
Unbalanced School-Age Parenting
Struggling with Confidence
Defenders may become overly concerned about their children’s development and
behavior and can quickly overwhelm them with well-intentioned yet unrealistic
expectations. This focus on making sure their sons and daughters are truly “good
kids” can prove especially detrimental to children at this stage if it indicates that
academic achievement and good behavior are more important than healthy
relationships or their personal interests. Defender parents may experience rebellion
from their children when they become fed up with an excessive focus on how they
appear to others rather than how they feel. Less confident children may struggle to
voice their frustration and, instead of rebelling, may become overly dependent on
their parents’ approval. This may result in difficulty setting their own goals, and can
lead to struggling to achieve healthy independence later in life.
Defender parents may also struggle in promoting confidence in their kids. These
types tend to work behind the scenes and find themselves less likely to receive
recognition for their efforts than more outspoken types. In addition to causing them
to feel unappreciated, their desire to avoid conflict prevents Defenders from
speaking up or confronting unfair treatment they may receive. Defender parents
may, in turn, be unable to provide their children with the necessary tools to improve
their own confidence during this sensitive stage.

Parenthood
Rebalancing School-Age Parenting
Constructing Values Together
As much as Defender parents want their children to succeed, it’s important that they
focus on promoting their kids’ overall well-being instead of their own relentless
expectations. It’s easy to be influenced by society’s ideas of success, but Defenders
are very devoted to their core values. Using this devotion, they can switch their focus
from society’s definition to their own holistic idea of what success truly means.
Determining and promoting their personal values can help them to guide their
children in developing their own values and pursuing their own definitions of a
successful life.
This can be a daunting process when there are so many outside factors – such as
teachers, peers, and even media sources – telling kids what they should prioritize.
Defenders can help encourage and promote their children’ confidence in their beliefs
by developing a set of family values, or code of conduct, to help guide their decision-
making process. Having these clear boundaries and guidelines, developed with their
children’s input, provides a foundation for making choices and decisions confidently
and constructively.
Finding Thyself (12–18 Years)
During this stage of development, adolescents transition from childhood to
adulthood and develop their distinct sense of identity. This transitional period
centers around everyone’s understanding of what their roles are, both in their
relationships and in society. To determine their roles, adolescents in this stage begin
the all-important process of identifying their personal values and beliefs. Educational

Parenthood
and future career goals may be made, and relationships may be developed, based
on how they align with these values and beliefs, making this a pivotal foundational
stage that has far-reaching consequences for the rest of their lives.
Balanced Adolescent Parenting
Encouraging Exploration
One of Defender parents’ greatest strengths is their unceasing support for their
children. During this stage of identity development, teens need their parents’ support
and understanding more than ever. Defenders tend to be more than willing to assist
their kids in the self-discovery process, and are likely to encourage their growth by
promoting positive values and providing them with a stable and loving environment.
Regardless of the struggles they may face during this tumultuous time, Defenders
remain steadfast in their devotion to their children. This reliability in their affection
and their maintenance of daily activities provides a solid foundation for identity-
seeking children to venture further into self-discovery while still feeling a sense of
stability and love.
Unbalanced Adolescent Parenting
Overly Traditional
Defenders may have difficulty accepting certain aspects of their teenagers’ newfound
identities during this stage. These types’ strong values often coincide with a
preference for “traditional” roles, and kids who push their boundaries too
dramatically may both shock and frustrate their Defender parents. The Defender
definition of “traditional” doesn’t necessarily mean conservative – it tends to mean
making sure that things align with their personal and family values. Kids in this stage

Parenthood
are trying to figure out if the values and traditions they were raised with truly
represent the people they’ve become. They may challenge or oppose their parents’
values in their personal quest, which may frustrate Defenders who feel their deeply-
held values are being rejected.
Co-Dependence
The adolescent stage also requires that children become more independent of their
parents, making critical life choices on their own and relying less on caregivers for
support. Defender parents may struggle with feelings of rejection if they believe their
sons and daughters no longer need them or desire their affection. Defenders who
identify primarily as parents or caregivers may take the loss of their influence
personally. This may result in co-dependent behavior that attempts to prevent their
children from becoming more wholly independent.
Rebalancing Adolescent Parenting
Modeling Personal Growth and Understanding
It may prove difficult for Defenders to decrease the amount of control they exert over
their teens – not necessarily because they view them as incapable, but because they
genuinely believe that they know best. Developing identities separate from their
“caretaker” characteristics is important for all parents during this stage, and is even
more important for Defenders who may have become too absorbed in their
parenting roles. They can take comfort in knowing that their responsibilities and
contributions as parents haven’t ended. They’re just shifting into different forms that
are just as important for their children. Here are some things they can keep in mind.

Parenthood
• Understanding is crucial during this stage, which also requires a constant
rebalancing of responsibility and expectations as adolescent children become
more capable, responsible, and mature.
• Defender parents can practice slowly easing off on their control by providing
extended curfews or allowing their teens to use the family car.
• It’s also helpful for Defenders at this stage to encourage their kids to privately
focus on embracing values that are meaningful to their individual journeys.
• These types can take this opportunity to engage in some self-reflection as well,
taking time to rediscover old hobbies, find a club or class to join, or become
more involved in a community group or project.
Conclusion
Parenting is one of the most challenging experiences that anyone may face,
regardless of their personality type. Defenders have their own unique strengths that
can be leveraged to build positive, proactive relationships with their children. There’s
tremendous potential for personal development that takes place when people
become parents, and Defenders can gain much deeper understanding of themselves
and others if they use this opportunity to do so.
The advice we’ve provided here is based on general growth stages for children and
primary strengths and weaknesses that many Defenders share. Every child is
different, and parents are the best judges of what their children need. The advice
here should be used in ways that work best for each family without adding additional
stress, frustration, or burden. For special situations, such as behavioral or medical
issues, it’s best to consult with professional pediatricians or pediatric psychologists
to come up with a plan that will work best for everyone involved.

Parenthood

Academic Path
Academic Path
Defenders learn best in environments that apply the following three principles:
practicality, duty, and tradition. As students, they’re most comfortable in traditional
classrooms with traditional teaching methods. They prefer “how-to” experiences in
the classroom – “How to Fix a Flat Tire,” or “How to Pay Taxes,” or “How to Administer
CPR” – real, concrete lessons that can aid them in everyday life.
How Defenders Learn

Naturally dutiful, these types seek out knowledge paths to use in helping their
community and loved ones. One of their primary motivations is to be of service,
offering mutual support and, on occasion, guidance. Take, for example, math-savvy
Defenders who take time out of their day to help their younger siblings learn the
intricacies of multiplication.
Tradition is important to these types, not so much in the conservative sense, but that
they follow what their community and family tell them is safe, stable, and effective.
Knowing what they’re learning in the academic realm can later help create a stable

Academic Path
future is enough for Defenders. However, they sometimes don’t realize that there
are choices outside those expectations.
The abstract and theoretical are of little interest to these pragmatic people. This isn’t
to say they don’t engage in topics like philosophy and art, but if there’s no need for
real-world application, then Defenders rarely see the point in their learning about
them. They tend to tolerate the theoretical only if the lesson ties the idea to
something practical. If a debate or lecture doesn’t land on something useful, they’re
likely to see the whole experience as “going around in circles.”
Sentinels are very detail-oriented, and Defenders are particularly so. They don’t mind
routine and repetitive tasks when there’s a specified end goal. For example,
Defenders who specialize in music have no issue with practicing a complicated piece
one hundred times, so long as they get it right in the end. It isn’t uncommon to
perceive Defenders as “model students,” as they’re likely to do what’s asked of them
and do it correctly.
It tends to be very difficult to pull Defenders away from their routines and areas of
comfort. Once these types believe something, it can be hard for them to accept
alternative ideas. This may also factor into why Defenders are known as the “most
loyal” of the types, for better or for worse. Their trademark commitment to their long-
held beliefs may make it difficult for them to excel in courses that rely on imagination
and creativity. They tend to shy away from general class discussions where there can
be too many radical ideas flying about.
Instructors can tap into Defender students’ strengths by providing them with a sense
that they’re doing something, and not just spinning their wheels in the mud. The
optimal learning environment for these types looks like this:

Academic Path
• A subject that’s taught in a systematic, linear fashion
• Hands-on training
• A model that can be copied and referred to if additional coaching is needed
• Ideas that connect the past to the present
• Proven conventional ideas linked to a concrete purpose
• Constructive, objective feedback
• Affirmed hierarchy
For example: Defenders’ teachers should be teachers, and not trying to be best
friends with their students.
Defenders, while naturally hard workers, find it challenging and uncomfortable to
excel in environments where:
• New ideas come apparently “out of nowhere,” and are allowed to run wild
• Classrooms where teachers allow things to be too relaxed
• Unspecified goal objectives
• Being put on the spot, or asked to give opinions before the material’s been
learned
These types need to be sure of themselves and prefer to be confident in their
answers before they commit to them. Defenders always appreciate a reasonable
amount of time to check their work before they respond.
Despite the above, these students always work to deliver reliable results. They strive
to be good students, no matter how uncomfortable they may feel. While it may be
healthy for Defenders to step outside of their comfort zones and relax a bit, they can
rest easy knowing that today’s education system rewards students like them.

Academic Path
Balanced Learning Habits
Community-Based Pragmatism
Defenders learn for the sake of their local community and loved ones. These gentle
types take pride in their homes and hearths and tend to do what’s needed to
maintain a safe future. Defenders build upon the foundation of their inner circles
and help mend fences where they can.
They’ll likely learn what’s necessary to fill an existing gap or follow a path that those
immediately around them have deemed acceptable – pursuing a nursing degree
because they come from a long line of nurses, for example. Academically speaking,
Defenders draw energy and enthusiasm from knowing that whatever they’re learning
also pleases the ones closest to them.
A Strict Work Ethic
Defenders strive to do their best because it’s expected of them. Even if they dislike a
subject, not giving 100% is unimaginable for these students. Defenders hate the idea
of not fulfilling their commitments and obligations (even if they didn’t ask for them).
They don’t take deadlines lightly and tend to complete others’ tasks if needed to bring
a project in on time.
This work ethic extends beyond a sense of obligation to others, however. Defenders
work hard to form a stable set of guiding principles for how they live their lives. It’s a
point of pride that they’re able to do what they do, whether it’s staying up all night to
study (for better or worse) or seeing a degree program to the end.

Academic Path
Unbalanced Learning Habits
Obligation Over Opportunity
Safety and security are of the utmost importance for Defenders. They learn what they
learn because they know that whatever lies at the end of the tunnel likely leads to a
stable life. The idea of change, or the thought of an unknown path – studying art
without a clear career destination, for example – can create huge amounts of anxiety
and stress for these usually sure-footed people.
These types tend to study out of a sense of obligation without knowing where their
particular paths may lead. If they know that they’re expected to go to college, then
they do so. Unfortunately, this can also rob them of the opportunity to explore other
options in a healthy manner. They may pick a field of study and commit to it because
they may not know what else to do, and then refuse to change majors even if better
options reveal themselves.
Expectation Overload
When people are struggling, they can count on Defenders to help show them the way
(even if it’s a detriment to Defenders themselves). These types often pick up the slack
of unwilling classmates and colleagues, not necessarily because they want to, but
because they believe it’s expected of them.
These types may also have a hard time veering from paths dictated by loved ones
and overload themselves with other’s expectations. Take, for example, going to a
specific university because it was their parents’ alma mater, not because they enjoy
being there. It’s far too easy for Defenders to overload themselves – or to be
overloaded by others – as they silently struggle to meet everyone’s expectations.

Academic Path
Rebalancing Learning Habits
Venturing Out of the Comfort Zone
Comfort may be what we all strive for, but it can also be what holds Defenders back
from life’s great adventure. While they don’t need to bound out of the Shire and fight
dragons (as fictional Defender Bilbo Baggins did in The Lord of the Rings), they can
practice small steps toward venturing out of their comfort zones.
Many seek out the comfort of routine for its low stress and predictability. Making a
change is easier said than done, especially if Defenders don’t know what the outcome
may be. This is part of the reason why these types don’t appreciate being put on the
spot. Here are some things they can keep in mind to help keep them going.
• When Defenders break out of their comfort zone – even just a little – they can
find increased productivity, an expansion of boundaries, and life-changing
experiences. All of these are important to creating a well-rounded individual.
• They can try doing something small, yet routine, differently every other week:
pick a new place to study, try to read a book that usually wouldn’t capture their
interest, or talk to a classmate with ideas radically different than their own.
• By making changes little by little, Defenders can gather the courage to take a
big leap – like going off to a university where they don’t know anyone, but
where the opportunities are boundless – and still manage their stress levels.
Putting Self First
“No, I can’t help you,” is a sentence that Defenders find very difficult to say. If they do
decline to assist, they may follow up with, “I can help find someone who can help

Academic Path
you,” or, “I can help you later.” Rarely do Defenders flat out say, “No,” even if providing
guidance results in some internal grumbling on their part.
While their patience and tolerance for others are two of their best traits, they can
also be points of stress. Unhealthy Defenders tend to go out of their way to meet the
expectations of those around them, completely ignoring their own desires in the
process. (In more extreme cases, they can be completely unaware of those desires.)
Before they can help anyone else, they must first take care of themselves – they can’t
tutor classmates, take on other students’ workloads, AND focus on their own studies
if they’re stressed to the point of breaking down.
Putting themselves first may seem, well, a bit selfish to these dutiful types. However,
it’s an essential skill for everyone to learn, and Defenders can start by first
acknowledging their own desires – not those of their parents, family, or friends, but
what genuinely makes them happy. They can try, for example, journaling three times
a week. A concrete record of their emotions and thoughts may be what they need to
clarify their own needs.
Defenders in High School

Defenders are the students that teachers love. They’re hardworking, dedicated to
doing well, and enjoy earning good grades. While other students sulk about and
complain about life, Defenders tend to flourish in the structured learning
environment that is high school.
High school is more than just classes. Most would agree there are as many lessons
in secondary education football fields, clubs, and hallways as there are in the

Academic Path
classrooms. So, let’s take a moment to consider high school as a place where
important social lessons unfold.
Defenders are usually well-liked, but rarely “popular” in the cliched sense. They may
have a group of close friends to whom they’re very loyal and feel attached. However,
their Introversion may make them a bit reclusive and, therefore, a bit like outsiders.
Although they’re inherently warm people, it may take them awhile to let new people
see their warmth. Luckily, social status, or having a bevy of friends, aren’t primary
concerns for Defender students.
When it comes to socializing, Defenders tend to be born listeners and observers.
They aren’t likely to offer an opinion if they aren’t asked, and are liable to be less
talkative than more Extraverted types (especially amongst people they don’t know
well). These types play a supporting role, always present, and always there to lend a
hand, but they may see little need in going beyond that.
In high school, Defenders’ inherent need to meet expectations are more apparent
than ever as they balance academics, societal pressure, and, unfortunately,
hormones.
Balanced High School Learning Habits
Doing What Needs to Be Done
Defenders do well in courses that promote organizational prowess or skills that they
can apply to everyday life – word processing, for example, and subjects they can use
as a resource for existing issues. However, not enjoying a course wouldn’t stop them
from trying to succeed in it. Unlike Analysts or Diplomats, Defenders likely don’t need
to find a subject interesting or exciting to apply themselves.

Academic Path
These types may believe that a course is there for a reason, and it needs to be done,
regardless of their personal feelings. Defenders tend to work hard from the first day
of high school to the day they graduate to meet all the requirements put in front of
them.
These types accomplish all necessary courses and meet reasonable expectations, but
also make sure to make time or invest more in the subjects they genuinely enjoy. For
example, Defenders who enjoy their chemistry class may also be active members of
the after-school Chemistry Club.
Gaining Skills Through Support
Defenders gravitate to the clubs they’re “supposed to” belong to, whether for
academic improvement, service to others, or a career path of some kind. Being
practical, they tend to join clubs that pad their resumes or their college applications.
They may join the Drama Club or other performing groups if they’re presented as
community builders – but even then, Defenders make sure to stay out of the
spotlight.
They don’t enjoy the limelight and are less likely than most to become leaders of any
extracurricular organizations. If they join the Drama Club, they run the lights. If they
join Debate, they manage the debate schedule. With their attention to detail and
affinity for protocol, they’d probably do quite well in leadership roles. However, it’s
more likely that they’d prefer to take a more auxiliary position, such as secretary or
treasury.

Academic Path
Creating Bonds Through Caring
One of Defenders’ greatest strengths is their capacity to care. Like other Sentinels,
these types tend to make it a point to care for their fellow students. It won’t be about
sweeping compassion as much as about making sure their friends’ practical needs
are met. If other students reach out for help, Defenders try to support them to the
best of their ability, such as helping to tutor struggling students in a subject at which
they excel.
This friendly helpfulness can go a long way to creating serious bonds of friendship in
high school, giving Defenders a sense belonging even if they’re never one of the “cool
kids.” This is likely satisfying enough for them.
Unbalanced High School Learning Habits
Doing Only What’s Expected
These types are dutiful and committed, driven to meet the expectations placed upon
their shoulders. While this often works in their favor, it can also turn against them
when, because they’re so focused on meeting requirements, they miss out on doing
things they enjoy.
Finding joy in learning is vital to the academic process, and Defenders may find that
they’ve lost this joy somewhere along the way as they struggle to meet the
expectations of everyone but themselves. For example, those who study to do well
on standardized tests may find they’ve learned nothing outside the bounds of those
tests.

Academic Path
Defenders also run the risk of not knowing what they like or enjoy. They may never
let themselves find their passion or specialize while they’re still in high school, which
can lead to steeper challenges later in higher education or in a career.
Rigid Responsibility
One of the challenges Defenders face in the high school classroom is that they may
possess a certain rigidity. These types prefer defined structure and rules, so when
faced with situations where there’s no “right” answer, as in philosophy or statistics,
they may become frustrated.
They also may have trouble relating to their fellow students. Frustration may be
mutual if Defenders find themselves expected to work with a group of students who
want to cut corners on the details of a project. They may want to follow directions to
the letter while their peers don’t, and for conflict-averse Defenders, this can be
particularly stressful.
Being the hardworking students that they are, Defenders may be very hard on those
who are slower or don’t carry their own weight. On the other hand, teachers tend to
value the care and attention that Defenders put into their work.
Rebalancing High School Learning Habits
Combining Patience with Assertiveness
Because teenage Defenders are relatively rule-abiding and just plain “good”
compared to many of their peers, they may harbor frustration with the ruffians and
slackers of their generation. It’s difficult for them to fathom wanting to be a
disruption. They may be thinking, “Why can’t you just do the work?” or, “Is it so hard
for you to sit quietly in class and listen?”

Academic Path
However, given their gentle and kind nature, Defenders seldom speak up. While they
usually ignore disruptive people, what can they do if, say, they’re grouped with the
disrupters? Their natural approach may be to let the to let others off the hook and
do the work themselves. After all, it’s so much easier than dealing with classroom
agitators head on. But while this may be easier, it isn’t necessarily fair to either
Defenders or the offenders.
In cases where someone is a genuine annoyance, young Defenders should learn to
speak up (even if it makes them intensely uncomfortable). The first step is to
acknowledge that they have a right not to have to clean up after others. Others may
see kind, gentle Defenders as “doormats.” It’s up to Defenders to correct this
assumption – in their own gentle way, of course.
Defenders can deal with slacker classmates by channeling their pragmatic fairness,
distributing the work, and holding others accountable with clear goals in mind. Below
are tips that can help ease the process:
• Take the slacker aside and communicate issues with them using “I feel…”
phrases.
• Be sure to stick to facts about the project they’re working on: deadlines, page
counts, requirements, etc.
• Build in mini-goals to the project to keep the slacker on track.
Learning to Take a Break
High school’s hard. With the added pressure parents, extracurricular activities, and
even the future, in general, can bring, it can be exhausting for even the laziest of
people, and downright back-breaking for hardworking Defenders. These types are

Academic Path
always looking to do their best in whatever they commit to, even at the risk of their
own health.
While most teenagers would jump at the chance of staying home, young Defenders
tend to be reluctant to take sick days. They prefer taking some medicine, squaring
their shoulders, and going out to face a day of exams, homework, and practices.
Missing a day of school can cause these types to feel nervous as they contemplate
all the valuable information they’re not learning.
Still, health is more important than grades. Below are some ways that Defenders may
take a break or a sick day in peace.
• Ask the question: “If a friend was sick or wasn’t feeling well, would I ask them
to work through it?” If the answer is “No,” then Defenders should consider why
they would ask it of themselves.
• Don’t panic. Remember, whatever information is missed during the break can
be caught up.
• Try not to think about school while on break. Taking the time to rest is the
surest path back to school attendance.
Beyond Expectations
Young Defenders do well in areas where expectations are clear. They’re also very
good at meeting the expectations of those around them – parents, mentors, friends.
There’s incredible pressure on these types to succeed and make those they love and
admire proud. Defenders at the top of their class, and who push themselves hard,
but ultimately don’t know what they like beyond the established criteria are all-too-
common examples of this.

Academic Path
Performing well is a good thing, but Defenders should also learn how to balance their
responsibilities with activities they genuinely enjoy. High school is a good time to start
figuring out what they like, dislike, and ultimately start to figure out who they are.
Below are some questions to find out what Defenders’ personal passions may be:
• “When I was a child, I dreamed of _____________.”
• “Most people don’t know this about me, but I really enjoy __________.”
• “I am the go-to person when my friends need help with ____________.”
Defenders’ path to finding what they genuinely enjoy may be a long one, but the
nearly endless patience they provide to others should also be applied to themselves.
They can attempt a new activity every other week – sit in on the Debate Club, crack
open a novel they wouldn’t otherwise read, or pick an unusual topic for their next
assigned project.
Work or College?
Go to college? Or go into the workforce? This fork-in-the-road decision plagues all
young adults as they prepare to leave the swaddling comfort of high school. While
personality type isn’t the only factor that goes into making this choice, it can be a
significant variable.
Higher education was once the path taken to guaranteed security and success. Now,
having a degree may have little to no relevance in today’s competitive job market.
The question many Defenders face is whether it’s more practical to enter a trade in
early adulthood to build their lives, or to bolster their future security by obtaining a
degree.

Academic Path
Central to Defenders’ considerations are cultural expectations, especially regarding
their families. These types may find it difficult to defy a family full of college
graduates, and likely choose higher education because it’s expected.
However, it’s important for Defenders to know that they have choices available to
them. So, what are some things they can consider when making that choice?
Balanced Decision-Making
Understanding the Path
Many Defenders have already decided on the career or field they want to enter by
the time their high school graduation rolls around. They could choose to go into the
workforce rather than continue their education, and many of these types do just that.
If this decision is made in a healthy manner, then it’s based on Defenders’ self-
knowledge and hearty pragmatism. The career they choose is likely a practical one,
as well as one in which they find satisfaction.
Defenders tend to be anything but wasteful, and the idea of potentially spending
massive amounts of money and time on something that could be possibly irrelevant
is painful for them to consider. Without a sense of purpose or meaning in going to
college, it’s likely to be a bad experience for these types.
Take, for example, the path of a web developer. Many web developers are self-taught
– they’ve never taken a college course on coding, but instead practiced diligently for
years. Then there are web developers who are classically trained by universities.
Neither has a distinct disadvantage when it comes to finding work, especially if they
decide to freelance. Defenders who want to be web developers may likely choose the
self-taught route, saving money and resources in the process.

Academic Path
Checking Off the Requirements
If Defenders need a degree or a certification for their desired career – teacher, social
worker, nurse, physician – then they get them. However, these types tend to keep
practicality in mind as they search for institutions to provide their certifications.
They’re just as likely to go with the relatively economical choice of trade schools or
community colleges for their degree as four-year universities.
They’re likely to seriously consider their families’ opinions of their college choices as
well. While the weigh-ins of family members and mentors are essential to Defenders,
a balanced decision should be based on how they feel about the universities they’re
considering.
Unbalanced Decision-Making
Fear of the Unknown
Defenders are pragmatic, grounded, and tend to fear change. The idea of leaving
what they know for a virtually unknown future can be terrifying to these types,
including choosing a career or choosing to go (or stay) in college.
Fear of the unknown may force Defenders into early work (say, the family business),
as they see it as a system that works. They may not choose to stay necessarily
because they want to, or because they enjoy their work, but because the option of
going down the road not taken may seem too stressful.
On the flip side, Defenders may choose to go to college because it’s the path their
families have traditionally taken. Even if they prefer a specific career that doesn’t
require a college degree, they may not want to go against the grain. The same can be
said for Defenders who don’t want to leave college because of the ever-competitive,

Academic Path
unpredictable job market. They may opt to become “professional students” instead,
and remain in relatively regimented academic arenas.
Selecting for Others
Defenders, always conscientious of societal expectations, may pick a route that’s
deemed “proper” or “acceptable” by the authority figures in their lives. It’s at this point
that these types may start down a path of passive living – letting powerful loved ones
have the majority say in their life choices, even if they’re choices that Defenders don’t
particularly like.
Rebalancing Decision-Making
Facing the Unknown
Defenders don’t necessarily avoid change – they tend to have no problems with
choosing to go into the workforce or higher education if they know what each
involves. It’s only when they don’t know what’s on the other side of these tunnels that
they’re likely to become nervous and, ultimately, avoidant. Facing challenges,
however, creates a better-rounded and more stable person.
The key to facing the unknown is understanding that it’s acceptable to fail. Defenders
may have it in their minds that they can only be model students or model employees,
and nothing less. And the only way to accomplish that is if they can see the path
clearly before them.
While they may not always be able to see a clearly-defined path, Defenders can gain
confidence when facing the unknown by practicing the following:

Academic Path
• Visualize future obstacles and struggles. For example, Defenders can imagine
they’re far away from home, away from family and friends, and they don’t do
so well on an exam.
• After imagining the obstacle, ask the following three questions about the
hypothetical situation:
o “What can be learned from this situation?”
o “How is personal growth from this experience possible?”
o “What are three possible positive things about this situation?”
By thinking through this type of perceived fear, Defenders can hopefully understand
that such a failure won’t destroy their academic career or their place in the workforce.
Finding Personal Value
One of Defenders’ best traits is how much esteem they tend to hold their families’
opinions in. But when it comes to making the landmark decision of choosing either
college or work, the only opinion that should matter is their own.
When choosing, Defenders should answer the following questions with one to two
sentence responses. Try to remain clear and concise as possible.
• When have they felt engaged and enthusiastic, work or academic wise?
• When did they overcome a difficult challenge successfully?
• When have they achieved peak performance?
o What were they doing at the time?
o What were the principles they followed?
o What did they do to reach their goal?
o Did they feel personally satisfied by their accomplishment?

Academic Path
• Bearing in mind the challenges they face now (and possibly in the future), how
can they build on what they know works?
When Defenders becomes aware of what works for them, it can make choosing work
or college somewhat easier.
Defenders in College
Defenders may have mixed feelings when entering college. There’s an opportunity to
gain some real skills and develop professional credentials. However, university life
tends to have less guidance and a more unstructured environment than high school.
This can be disconcerting to students with as many fixed habits and beliefs as
Defenders have.
College is a time for Defenders to consider and build upon their strengths in a real
way, developing competence. They need to be careful when choosing their majors.
If their courses are too abstract or theoretical (philosophy and poetry, for example),
they’re likely to find little satisfaction. Choosing a major heavy in labs and practicums
– like medicine, for instance – may suit Defenders well.
Their course choices are likely to be similar to the subjects they connected with in
high school. They may do well in any detail-oriented work that needs careful
administration: bookkeeping, business management, health care, education, law,
social work, and religious studies come to mind. For Defenders, the subjects aren’t
nearly as important as their application and purpose. It’s unlikely they might be
attracted to less traditional courses, such as women’s studies or applied artistic
techniques. They instead tend to seek more bedrock courses – perhaps something
their parents might have taken a generation earlier.

Academic Path
These types have the work ethic to do well in any niche they choose, but they’re likely
to wonder if they’ll feel satisfied, or if they’ll be of use. Some believe that college is
only about gathering the tools needed to make a healthy living, and Defenders may
fit into this category. However, these types always have one eye on contributing to
their communities and taking care of others. Making a healthy living would more
likely be about taking care of their families rather than the gratuitous accumulation
of wealth.
Balanced Approach to College
Conscientious and Responsible
In high school, Defenders knew exactly where they had to be and what they had to
do, but there are more opportunities for fluidity and autonomy in college. This
sudden freedom can be overwhelming, which is why it’s common for many first-year
students to become depressed and unproductive as they try to find their new
purpose in life.
Luckily, Defenders have better luck than most in adapting to this new environment.
Yes, they may be away from friends and family, and yes, they’re change-averse types
who have been thrown wildly out of their element. Even with all that said, Defenders
tend to subconsciously look for the clearest path possible. They’re likely to read their
syllabi (unlike their peers). They probably won’t sign up for an 8 AM class if they know
it’s difficult for them to wake up in the morning. They tend to do their best to turn in
quality assignments when they’re due.
To keep track of all their requirements and expectations, Defenders’ day planners
may be their best friends for the first few rocky months of higher education, but at

Academic Path
least their diligence in studying and meeting deadlines may stave off an existential
crisis when finals time comes around.
Gathering the Tools for a Good Life
Some college students want to party the next four years away, but this couldn’t be
further from the truth when it comes to these types. Healthy Defenders’ primary
reason for choosing higher education is simple – to receive the certifications or
degrees required for their chosen careers. They understand the path they’ve
embarked on, and have chosen higher education for its focused implementation of
their life plans.
College can be an arena for personal exploration, but Defenders see it more as an
investment in the tools needed to build a stable, steady future. They tend to be the
personality type who utilizes campus resources to their fullest – career services, job
fairs, their professors, and, of course, information.
Unbalanced Approach to College
The Straw that Broke the Camel’s Back
Defenders are naturally inclined to overload themselves. Whether it be the pressures
of academia, the needs of others, or the expectations they have for themselves,
sooner or later, these types can expect to bow under the weight of it all.
In high school, their uncanny ability to stress themselves out was on a “low simmer”
due to smaller workloads and fewer expectations. In college, however, Defenders
have free rein to express their extreme perfectionism within their chosen courses
and activities. They can also add stress to their lives by making lofty demands of
themselves, such as the following:

Academic Path
• Not allowing for leniency when they make mistakes.
• Pushing too hard to achieve/maintain high grades.
• Pushing too hard to meet the expectations of family members and loved ones.
As their stress levels come to a full boil, Defenders may yet continue to smile dutifully
while melting beneath the oppressive heat and pressure. While their breakdowns
may be quieter than those of other types, they’re breakdowns nonetheless, and
should be addressed immediately, not ignored (as many Defenders feel the need to
do).
Rebalancing Their Approach to College
Reshaping Unreasonable Expectations
Defenders in college may be unwilling to deal with the root of their stress – meeting
unreasonable expectations. If the expectations of their loved ones include
maintaining a perfect grade point average while taking a full course load of rigorous
classes and holding down a part-time job, then it’s safe to say that these expectations
can be a little unreasonable.
Defenders are incredibly patient people and apply pragmatic fairness when they can.
If friends were to come to them and vent about the same stresses listed above, they
wouldn’t tell them it’s their fault. They’d listen, perhaps say they’re dealing with a hard
situation, and point out that all they can do is try their best. Funnily enough, they’re
reluctant to say the same things to themselves. Here are some truths these types
should keep in mind.
• The first step to dealing with the issue of heavy expectations is to first
acknowledge that they’re unreasonable. A simple way to check if they’re

Academic Path
unreasonable is to ask the question, “Would I ask someone else to do all these
things?”
• These types are prone to suffering in silence, not wanting to bother those
around them with what they may consider to be petty worries. Defenders grit
their teeth and bear the pain, sometimes ignoring their emotions completely.
However, to be better-rounded people, it’s necessary to understand that it’s
okay not to be okay.
• Defenders can combat these self-blaming tendencies by practicing self-
compassion exercises. These can range from composing a self-compassion
letter to taking self-compassion “breaks,” if their focus is giving Defenders the
room they need to breathe and stop mistreating themselves.
Lifelong Learning
For Defenders, “learning” is very much about gaining relevant “real world” skills. They
gather what they need to create and maintain a stable life and better serve the
people and organizations they care about. This is why they acknowledge formal
education as a resource, and, to a lesser degree, are aware of its ability for personal
development.
As they mature, Defenders may find what they consider necessary – home, family,
work – tends to expand to include things like learning how to garden so they can
grow their own vegetables for meals, or how to have better relationships with their
children, or to be more productive at work. Other Defenders, however, may continue
treading the same well-worn paths. They may stubbornly insist that, while they
haven’t learned everything there is to know, they at least know what they need to get
by.

Academic Path
However, it should be noted that Defenders are aware there’s always something new
to learn and apply. For example, registered nurses are asked to update their
knowledge of new medical procedures, guidelines, and innovations every year. In
cases like this, Defenders tend to be more than happy to take tests and courses for
the rest of their lives.
Balanced Lifelong Learning
Having Time to Learn
Defenders often find that as they get older, their obligations grow more numerous.
It can be effortless for these types to become completely swept up by the
expectations of relationships, family, work, and the organizations in which they’re
invested. However, well-rounded Defenders understand that a balanced life includes
having time for themselves as well.
While work and personal obligations are necessary, there’s always room to
incorporate new skills into their everyday routine, and they can make it a point to
carve out time in their busy lives to indulge in learning skills they enjoy. For example,
those who want to learn how to cook intricate recipes won’t necessarily join a cooking
class, but can try to make a new meal once a week with their family.
Learning New Skills to Complement Old Lives
Defenders don’t acquire new skills for novelty’s sake. They take the time to look at
the life they currently have, and look for ways to enrich it for both themselves and
the ones they care about. This can manifest in things like learning more about
automobiles to handle minor car issues on their own, or taking up carpentry to create
simple furniture pieces they can then pass on to their children.

Academic Path
On the topic of formal education, Defenders may be open to pursuing more
certifications and higher-level degrees if doing so improves their career prospects.
However, Defenders tend to be content in their jobs if they provide steadily for their
lives. Anything more would seem gratuitous.
Unbalanced Lifelong Learning
Settling and Stagnant
While easily content, these types may also settle into a lifestyle merely because
they’re afraid of change. This fear is apparent in all Sentinels, but in Defenders most
of all. They may try to convince themselves that they’re just not cut out for a different
path, and that everyone who’s followed it is far braver (or foolish) than they are.
Defenders cling to stability because the chance of failing is distinctly lower if the road
ahead is already clear. However, if these types are unwilling to step away from what
they know, if even for a moment, it may hinder their growth. That same place may
be comfortable, but it may also be keeping them from more suitable opportunities.
This line of thinking may also lead Defenders to believe that there’s nothing else for
them to learn – and even if there are new things to learn, it could hardly be worth the
effort to go outside of their comfort zones.
No Time for Learning
Defenders’ inclination to be of service to their loved ones and their communities
means they can quickly lose themselves to day-to-day tasks, and often those tasks
aren’t reserved for themselves.

Academic Path
When they allow every moment of their day to be dictated by obligations and
expectations – doing their best at work, being model employees, making sure their
partners and kids are satisfied, making sure their parents are happy, that the bills
are paid, that the house is clean, and a thousand other little things – they could be
missing out on vital personal development time. It’s possible that years may pass by
with Defenders not learning about anything they’re personally interested in.
Rebalancing Lifelong Learning
Varying the Routine
“Being set in your ways” isn’t necessarily a bad thing. However, there’s always room
for improving upon an existing routine. Here are some ideas Defenders can use to
do just that.
• Defenders can start with a relatively mundane task, such as a walk. Rather
than taking the same path every day, these types can choose a different route
every other week: a walk through a forest trail, a walk through the city, a
different route through the neighborhood.
• Based on these small excursions, Defenders can then adjust their routines
based on what they enjoyed about the experiences – or they may not change
their old habits at all if they suited them best.
• The important thing is that they’ve gained the basis for comparison to make
more well-informed decisions.

Academic Path
Conclusion
Inspired Learning
Time may be the biggest obstacle in Defenders’ academic development. There may
be other obligations distracting them from learning more about the things they
enjoy. However, it’s important for these types to carve out time for themselves, and
to put themselves first every so often. Creating space for self-care can help lower
stress and improve Defenders’ overall mood.
Committing at least an hour a day to learning or practicing a skill they enjoy can be
incorporated into their everyday routines. Take, for example, Defenders who like to
relax by watching television for a couple of hours at night. They can also use this time
to practice knitting or sewing (given they take an additional hour or two to learn the
technique). Instead of being “on call” for those they love all the time, they can kindly
refuse events or requests from others, and instead, take that time attend a class on
coding that they’ve always wanted to try. Devoted as they are to helping others grow,
Defenders putting their needs first every so often can find it a positive step toward
their own personal growth.

Professional Development
Defenders are one of the most prevalent personality types, which is great news for
employers as they’re some of the most reliable, dependable, and hardworking
individuals. The list of typical Defender careers is probably the longest amongst all
personality types – and for very good reason. They tend to be very altruistic and well-
rounded individuals, making them excellent employees.
Throughout this section, we’ll discuss how Defenders can maintain balance and excel
in their professional development with a better understanding of their traits. We’ll
look at what may cause them to become frustrated and unbalanced in these areas,
and how they can utilize their strengths to regain their balance and thrive in their
professional growth. Ultimately, we hope this guide gives Defenders the
understanding and tools needed to pursue their ideal career path.
Ideal Employees at Every Level
Reliable? Of course. Devoted? Undoubtedly. Punctual? Absolutely. Compassionate?
That, too! One of the best things about Defenders is that they’re practical and yet still
incredibly well-rounded. Like other Sentinels, these types are unstoppable on the job

once they find a niche where they can contribute to the good of the organization
while maintaining their stability and security.
People with this personality type believe in the significance of facts and duties, yet
they prioritize the human component of their work. Consequently, the best careers
for Defenders tend to reward their meticulousness and dedication while still
promoting positive human contact. These types have very high standards, especially
when it comes to their own work, and are likely to put in an extraordinary amount of
effort to get the job done – even when they know that their efforts may go
unrecognized. While they appreciate recognition, Defenders’ internal motivation to
do the “right thing” is more important than any reward or acknowledgment.
Another way Defenders excel in the workplace is through their ability to gather and
remember various facts, especially about other people. This is a great social skill in
most career paths, particularly when teamwork and cooperation are necessary.
Devoted Defenders tend to always remember the name of their boss’s daughter or
their colleagues’ birthdays. Furthermore, they’re very much aware of other people’s
emotions. Their skill set ensures they’re excellent employees at every level, from
subordinate to manager.
Humble and Loyal Servants
Defenders are probably the most unpretentious personality type of them all. Service-
oriented and warm, their respect for traditional values and security is usually
reflected in the careers to which they’re drawn. Defenders tend to be excellent
nurses and social or religious workers, as these jobs allow them to tap into their
desire to serve others while engaging in meaningful occupations. It isn’t uncommon
to see these types also involved in volunteer activities in their communities.

They seek work behind the scenes, causing their quiet resilience and determination
to often go unnoticed. A lack of appreciation for their tireless work doesn’t deter
them from their mission, however, as they’re driven by their sense of responsibility
and a desire for stability. This isn’t to say that Defenders prefer to work without
recognition, but, rather, that their focus is on making sure that the job gets done and
everyone’s needs get met – even at the expense of their own desires.
With their focus on responsibility comes a deep sense of devotion. Once Defenders
commit to their chosen careers or companies, they tend to display a peerless sense
of loyalty. Most individuals with this personality type are looking for long-term
“relationships” – careers with companies they can work for as long as they want.
Devotion, loyalty, and a need for security and stability make these types ideal long-
term hires.
Selectively Social
While they love helping others and are often drawn toward careers where they can
engage in caretaking roles, Defenders are still Introverts. And, like other Introverted
types, they tend to be relatively quiet, introspective, and prone to becoming
overwhelmed by excessive, or aggressive, social interaction, such as high-pressure
sales jobs. Socialization must have a purpose, and even their camaraderie with
colleagues may not necessarily translate into friendships outside of the workplace.
Defenders are brilliant administrators, safe keepers, logisticians, and caretakers who
do their best work individually or in small teams. As they prefer to work behind the
scenes, they’re often glad to accept someone else’s authority and leadership, if that
individual doesn’t break any rules or procedures and treats others with respect and

dignity. This doesn’t mean that Defenders don’t make terrific team leaders, just that
they aren’t necessarily seeking leadership roles, power, or attention in a career.
These types may also find themselves lacking social support, often because they give
the appearance of being unbreakable. Their ability to take on a seemingly
insurmountable array of tasks without faltering in their duties creates the impression
that they don’t need help. Being caretakers themselves, these types are also hesitant
to ask anyone else to assist them with their work. They don’t want to be a burden to
others.
Overly Practical Perfectionists
Defenders are very practical and may find more satisfaction in careers that avoid a
theoretical or abstract focus, such as leading academic research or brainstorming
product development. They’re at their best when implementing plans and making
things work (a crucial role in most companies), as opposed to spending significant
amounts of time generating new ideas.
These types may struggle in positions where they’re expected to deal with ambiguous
or abstract information. A lack of defined timelines or clear expectations can
frustrate Defenders enormously. Structure and order are necessary for them to feel
comfortable and productive.
Additionally, Defenders don’t fare well in situations where they need to do unfamiliar
work under time constraints. While they’re decisive and able to keep a cool head in
critical situations, they feel far more comfortable when they’ve enough time to assess
situations and make informed decisions. Defenders have excellent problem-solving
skills lurking beneath the surface, but being in “emergency mode” can exhaust them
very quickly.

Making a Point to Build a Support System
One of the most important things Defenders can do to improve the quality of both
their work and their relationships is to create solid support systems. It’s not
necessary to befriend every employee or customer. Most Defenders, however, may
benefit from building relationships with at least a couple of trusted coworkers.
Having allies in the workplace – especially those who express appreciation and
recognition – can increase Defenders’ morale even in the most difficult or stressful
work environments.
Building relationships with coworkers can be intimidating, especially for Introverted
types, but Defenders’ loyalty, devotion, and compassion tends to make them
respected, sought-after friends. The best way to attract chums in the workplace is to
abide by the adage, “Treat others how you would like to be treated.” Expressing
gratitude for help received and acknowledging hard work and positive results that
others achieve are fantastic ways to garner goodwill.
Practicing Flexibility
Consistency, an essential skill that many Defenders share, is incredibly valuable.
However, people with this personality type may benefit from learning to be more
flexible when it comes to their expectations. People are never going to behave exactly
as others think they should, and situations are never going to be ideal. Defenders
can work on finding specific ways to deal with these issues instead of struggling with
them.
When it comes to dealing with coworkers, customers, patients, or students,
Defenders may benefit from finding trusted friends, family members, or colleagues
to use as sounding boards. These types may see coworkers who are always late as

people who aren’t dependable (or even lazy), but other coworkers or friends may be
able to help them see past their preconceived notions. Those “always late” coworkers
may be single parents in charge of dropping kids off at school before work and may
not have help. Tapping into their innate compassion by learning more about their
coworkers’ history helps Defenders empathize with those who may not meet their
high personal expectations.
Finding Healthy Ways to De-Stress
Similarly, learning how to decompress or deal with unexpected changes in the
workplace is vital for Defenders’ well-being. While they aren’t naïve enough to believe
things will always go as expected, these types may struggle to recover from stressful
situations. Five to ten minutes of deep breathing and intentional relaxation after
awkward encounters with coworkers can provide the calming stability they need.
Daily exercise – such as walking, yoga, swimming, biking, or hiking – also improves
physical, mental, and emotional health, especially for individuals with stressful
occupations.
These activities also provide Defenders with an opportunity to practice mindfulness
and gain mental clarity by causing them to focus on physical activity. “Getting out of
their heads” for even a short while may prevent these types from dwelling on the
negative aspects of their work and provide momentary peace of mind.

Jobs and Skill Sets
Let’s look at some specific jobs that Defenders may find fit them best. Rather than
attempt the impossible and list every job that might suit these types, we offer a
sampling of jobs that are compatible with Defender personality traits, and offer
explanations for why that they can use when considering their career goals.
For those already employed, this may serve as a confirmation or explanation for how
happy or unhappy Defenders are in their line of work. We don’t presume this to be a
firm prescription of what must be done to be successful or happy. Rather, we hope
it provides some insight as personal decisions are made.
Business and Logistics
Having something or someone you need at the right place and the right time is the
heart and soul of logistics and management. There’s perhaps no better personality
Role than Sentinels for carrying out this important work. Defenders are sticklers for
the details needed to get things right and are more likely than others to catch
discrepancies. Beyond a doubt, those who cross all the “T”s and dot all the “I”s are of

great value in any office. Any analyses Defenders make are likely to be fact-based
and according to the rules, thus ensuring accuracy.
Defenders are warm individuals who are most likely to remember colleagues’
birthdays and the names of their family members. These types enjoy working in
cooperative setting with friendly and equally hard-working coworkers. Defenders
don’t, however, enjoy competitive, aggressive environments and would likely fare
poorly in jobs that focus on high-pressure sales or an ultra-competitive growth
mentality. Helping people while also carrying out important, well-defined work is
ideal for this personality type. Employment in the fields of business or logistics that
may best utilize Defenders’ qualities might include:
• Office manager
• Paralegal or legal assistant
• Customer advocate
• Human resources
• Teller or loan officer
• Shop or small business owner
• Internal help desk
Healthcare
At the core of most Sentinels, including Defenders, is the need to take care of others
in tangible, practical ways. This makes them excellent candidates for healthcare
work. Their traits explicitly equip them to care for patients, especially their attention
to detail, organizational focus, and ability to meet goals. Defender health workers
typically won’t tolerate negligence or mistakes, making them invaluable in medical
settings. People with this personality type are warm, but also all business. They work

well in small groups or teams, especially the well-functioning ones necessary in
health care settings. Jobs that may fit them well include:
• Family physician  
• Nurse  
• Dentist  
• Medical secretary
• Physical therapist
• Dietitian  
• Speech pathologist
• Patient advocate
Education
In elementary education, and in courses that involve teaching practical skills,
Defenders make excellent teachers. “No child left behind,” which was the motto of
an education movement, is a marching order for Sentinel teachers, and Defenders in
particular have the internal motivation necessary to help children progress as they
should both individually and as a group. They tend to genuinely care whether their
students learn or not.
These types function best with younger children who need instruction involving
rudimentary skill building. They may do well teaching older students if the courses
involve building a skill, such as computer programming, second languages, or
automobile mechanics. They’re also perhaps the best type for collecting and
organizing raw data for research projects at universities. Education jobs for
Defenders might include:
• Elementary school teacher  

• Auto mechanic or shop teacher  
• Economics or home economics teacher  
• Life skills teacher (including adult education courses in these skills)
• Coach (any sport or skilled-based activity)  
• History, art history, or literature teacher
• School principal (if the job’s not too political)  
• Early childhood educator  
• Day care provider or nanny
Challenging Career Qualities
In modern society, people not only spend lots of time at work, but they also tend to
want their jobs to give them meaning. A career that isn’t suitable for one’s personality
type can lead to extraordinary difficulties in achieving happiness or fulfillment. The
following paragraphs contain some characteristics of the kinds of job that may not
be suitable for Defenders.
Loose Structure
Defenders tend to need a strong sense of structure to feel at ease in their positions.
They respect the authority of the boss, the reliability of their colleagues or
subordinates, and the sovereignty of time-honored rules. Explicit hierarchies and
chains of command provide these types with the sense there’s a solid foundation
holding everything up.
These types don’t like improvised action or taking unproven paths. They need to feel
they have a firm foothold in a company, but they won’t if the ground is continuously
shifting. In a company culture too forgiving of mistakes, which are sometimes the

results of useful risks, these types may feel out of place. To succeed, Defenders
demand a tight ship.
Lack of Appreciation
Defenders enjoy others appreciating the work they do. They may not be obvious
about it, but more than other types, Defenders need some positive acknowledgment
for their undertakings. It could be a monetary reward or only a heartfelt thank you,
but they need a signal that their work is necessary and appreciated. People with this
personality type are unlikely to overtly advertise their accomplishments, and may
instead employ passive-aggressive behaviors to show their frustration or
disappointment.
Defenders should investigate potential places of employment for a positive,
responsible environment. Scan the room to see if employees are smiling and
interacting in kind, respectful ways. Research the company to see if they’re living up
to their mission statement and values. Check to see if performance-based raises,
401k matching, or other benefits are offered that show dedication to their
employees. Companies with a positive environment and employee benefits are the
most likely to show appreciation and respect to their work force.
Work That’s Aggressive or Confrontational
Defenders thrive on helping people and work well with others. However, there are
some careers where interaction with others isn’t always ideal. Specifically, careers
that focus on high-pressured sales, like used-car sales, or those that are commission-
based are likely to repel most Defenders. While this has been touched on in previous
sections, it’s worth a deeper look.

Fields that are highly competitive, pitting one employee against another, are off-
putting to Defenders seeking a cooperative workplace. Similarly, those companies
that put profits ahead of customer needs won’t appeal to Defenders who are looking
to help others, not cheat them out of their hard-earned money.
Career Alternatives
Anything Is Possible
This may seem radical, but people don’t need to be employed in the traditional sense
to live comfortably. We live in an age of possibilities, and selling one’s time to a
corporation isn’t the only way to generate income. Defenders are hardworking,
diligent individuals, and their impressive ability to remember copious amounts of
facts can be very valuable. Why not try turning them into an opportunity for self-
employment?
Self-Employment
Defenders may find the notion of self-employment quite scary. However, the time
when someone could spend twenty or more years working at the same company and

feeling secure in that future are largely over. Job security and guaranteed prospects
are a thing of the past, except for select fields such as accounting or medicine.
Consequently, working for themselves may be a more secure and viable option.
Defenders value respect, control, and self-reliance, and being self-employed can
provide excellent opportunities to enjoy these things.
Furthermore, self-employment solves several major hurdles Defenders are likely to
encounter in the corporate environment. As self-employed individuals, Defenders
are free to choose which tasks they want to perform and which ones they want to
delegate or outsource – no more following irrational orders or dealing with people
who are more interested in play than work.
Self-employment may offer the ability to work from home as another significant
benefit to Defenders, allowing them to spend more time with family (especially
children) while still maintaining or expanding their sources of income.
Professional Volunteer
A bold and inspiring para-career option for Defenders is that of professional
volunteer – making income second to their loftier goals of helping others. While
financial prosperity may be off the table, unparalleled personal satisfaction and
growth are attainable in its place. If supported by income from other endeavors, or
even supportive partners or spouses, Defenders who devote themselves entirely to
conscientious progress can move mountains. This is also a role these types can
transition into later in life, bringing skill sets from previous occupations into the
nonprofit world with expert vigor.

For example, Defenders with any level of medical training can easily find roles within
international aid organizations. They can have their basic needs met while they
volunteer to provide training, education, and health care to those in extreme need.
Experienced or educated Defenders can probably find a need for their abilities and
knowledge regardless of their background, especially if they’re willing to travel –
anyone from welders and carpenters to teachers and gardeners are useful to many
of these organizations.
If Defenders want to offer such help, the least developed countries are extremely
hungry for compassion, dedication, and boots on the ground. Any skills and
knowledge can be of use when driven by this personality type’s burning desire to
help. A resume of abilities with a passionate cover letter may allow Defenders to
enter many different organizations as volunteers. If they can accept potentially
austere material lives, the rewards to their souls can be infinite.
However, foreign aid work and a monastic lifestyle aren’t mandatory – there are
many volunteer opportunities for Defenders within more developed countries. For
starters, administrative and fundraising roles abound at the headquarters of
idealistic organizations, from grassroots political groups to religious and secular
charities. They’ll embrace the willing hands, heart, and voice of any enthusiastic
Defenders who want to pitch in – and the appreciation they’ll receive feels amazing.
Defenders who find large organizations unappealing can create their own small
groups, or even act individually. Something as basic as tutoring younger children in
reading and math can be done by almost anyone with warmth, patience, and a high
school education, and can make an incredible difference in a child’s future.

Another example could be self-organized campaigns on social media, allowing
Defenders to advocate for whatever they consider necessary. Successful efforts may
draw in other volunteers, or even establish partnerships with other groups or larger
charities.
Defenders can find a path of volunteerism as dramatic as spending a year abroad as
aid workers, or as simple as sitting in their kitchens making phone calls to grocery
stores to organize food bank donations. Regardless of the scale or complexity,
commitment to volunteerism may be one of the best ways for Defenders to satisfy
their desire to create harmony and healing in the world. They can dip their toes in
while keeping their day jobs – or plunge into the deep end and devote their time fully
to helping others.
For Defenders, the psychological and spiritual rewards of volunteerism can make up
for the lack of compensation, and distinguishing themselves through their dedication
and proficiency may even lead to long-term, paying positions. Defenders may find
this path is worth serious consideration.
Workplace Cooperation Between Roles

Professional development isn’t complicated: it’s a combination of personal
awareness and changes in behavior following this awareness that takes place along
the career path. Understanding one’s strengths, weaknesses, values, and goals is
necessary to become the best employee, manager, or volunteer possible.
Defenders don’t necessarily need a “special” environment to make their work
satisfying. And, while they truly enjoy working behind the scenes, they make excellent

managers and leaders as well. The real key to making sure Defenders succeed in any
role is understanding themselves and knowing their goals.
The following paragraphs discuss the potential issues and opportunities these types
may face when dealing with colleagues in each of the different personality type Roles
(Analysts, Diplomats, Sentinels, and Explorers).
Defender–Analyst Cooperation
Defenders’ and Analysts’ most powerful shared trait is the need for workplace
efficiency. Analysts use systems to make them run smoothly. Defenders do the same
with more practical matters, such as bringing order to an organization’s tasks. Each
type plays a different role when they have jobs that suit them in an organization.
Balanced Cooperation
Efficient and Effective
Defender–Analyst relationships are mutually beneficial, with Analysts developing
ideas, plans, and systems, and Defenders providing reality checks, organizing, and

implementing these visions. Analysts may be masters at innovative ideas, but they
need someone else around to turn them into something practical. Defenders are
great at getting things done. In many ways, they’re a perfect match.
From such examples, it’s easy to assume Defenders are always subordinate to
visionary Analysts. However, consider Analysts in research positions with Defender
bosses – it’s the opposite power relationship, yet they complement each other’s roles
just the same. Regardless of their workplace titles, by clearly understanding and
accepting each other’s roles and communicating from their positions of strength,
each type can become invaluable to the other.
Improving Attitudes
Defenders tend to be the epitome of humility, and many Analysts could stand to take
a page or two from their playbook on how to be humble. Analysts often come to
respect (and hopefully try to emulate) the competence and modesty of their
Defender colleagues. Also, Defenders are compassionate and considerate of others
– skills Analysts can benefit from improving as well, and Defenders are more than
happy to assist them.
Defenders, on the other hand, can at times get stuck in a relatively narrow way of
thinking. For them, things are either right or wrong, black or white, and not
necessarily open to new interpretations. Analysts are excellent at “thinking outside
the box” and viewing challenges as opportunities. In the workplace, they can
encourage and inspire their Defender colleagues to consider different options they
wouldn’t have normally considered.

Unbalanced Cooperation
Maintaining versus Innovating
There’s an old saying, “Nobody likes change except a wet baby.” While whole
industries have grown up around “change management,” it’s not true that “nobody
likes change.” Intuitive types like Analysts and Diplomats love change. They crave it,
as it represents growth and possibilities to them, and they always look for ideas to
improve things.
On the other hand, Defenders focus more on doing the right thing according to
proven standards and traditions. They have an inherent fear of change, an instability
found in unfamiliar situations or circumstances. Big changes carry big risks, and this
type of uncertainty doesn’t bode well for stability-craving Defenders. They aren’t
likely to aggressively oppose Analysts pushing their innovative ideas, but it may be
difficult for them to support them if they aren’t backed up by evidence of their
potential success. This may frustrate Analysts, who may view their lack of support as
an inability to see “the big picture” or even “simple-minded” stubbornness.
Passive-Aggressive versus Confident
The universal conflict between those trying to preserve a system and those trying to
change it is perhaps as old as humanity itself. It’s a difficult area in the workplace that
may play out as passive-aggressive resistance or discounting the importance of
other’s contributions. Defenders’ and Analysts’ diverse approaches need careful
communication, reassurances, and much understanding.
Analysts’ social style may lack warmth and consideration for the emotional needs of
others. Workplace conversations with these types can quickly take on an assertive

tone, especially when they’re defending their opinions. Debaters – the opposite
personality type of Defenders – not only enjoy confrontational discussions, they
actively seek them out. This aggressive style of communication is likely to repel
Defenders, who may avoid interactions with them whenever possible.
Defenders, on the other hand, may go so far out of their way to avoid conflict that
they fail to express their opinions at all. Instead, they may imply their frustrations
with passive-aggressive behaviors such as exceptional stubbornness or avoiding
tasks they don’t support. Defenders would never go so far as to shirk their
responsibilities. However, they won’t jump at the opportunity to assist with projects
or ideas they disagree with.
Rebalancing Cooperation
Practicing Positive Communication
Thankfully, Defenders often go out of their way to ensure they work as well as
possible with colleagues. Analysts aren’t detail-oriented, and may not even realize
the amount of work that goes into certain tasks. While they may not receive the
appreciation that they deserve (or desire) from Analyst counterparts, Defenders take
pleasure in knowing Analyst coworkers benefit from their stability and attention to
detail, even if they don’t always recognize it. But Defenders shouldn’t hesitate to
communicate their needs and expectations as well. Here are some ways they can
approach this.
• Analysts may expect an idea to be implemented without consulting Defender
colleagues about what may be required to complete their tasks. They may
have an unrealistic time frame or unreasonable expectations, not knowing
what details are involved in the actual implementation of an idea.

• Defenders can ask questions about specific details, such as who should do the
work, how long the work should take, and what should happen to other
deadlines and priorities. These questions call attention to the level of detail
and thought that’s necessary for Defenders to complete the tasks without
resulting in unwanted confrontation.
• Empathy and emotional control aren’t developed skills for most Analysts, and
they’re unlikely to realize when they’re hurtful or offensive. Defenders are
wonderful models for positive social interaction and can help “teach” Analysts
how to interact in a more considerate way.
• By learning not to take criticism or harsh comments from Analysts to heart,
Defenders can let them know they’re crossing a line in a compassionate and
diplomatic way.
• If all else fails with overly critical or hurtful Analysts, calling in the support of
coworkers or managers who are more comfortable with confrontation (or are
the Analysts’ managers) is a safe, effective way of addressing such situations.
Defender–Diplomat Cooperation

Both Defenders and Diplomats like to take care of other people and promote the
human side of their work. While Diplomats focus more on ideological compassion,
Defenders’ interests lie more in taking care of others on a more practical level. For
example, Defenders might want to make sure they complete the payroll, so everyone
receives their salary. Meanwhile, Diplomats might focus on making sure that
everyone receives fair treatment and professional development opportunities. Both
find energy and self-respect in doing good for others and share plenty of common
ground on which to bond.
Macro and Micro Visions
Defenders and Diplomats complement each other by providing different kinds of
support for the organization. For Diplomats, it’s the larger picture and the big ideas
that are important. They’re interested in growth for themselves and others.
Defenders are interested in doing what’s best for individuals in their workplace.
Together, these two types tend to push workplace options that provide professional
growth and meet such practical needs as health care benefits and time-off policies.
Partnering with Diplomats can help Defenders hold on to the greater vision of an
organization. Defenders can help to ground the idealistic plans that Diplomats put
forward with much-needed pragmatism. Inspired by Diplomat colleagues’ grand
ideas to make the workplace (and the world) better, Defenders’ attention to detail
can help their shared desire for cooperation and compassion for all become a reality.

Realistic versus Idealistic
Conflict arises when Defenders are too pragmatic, or Diplomats are too idealistic. If
some arrive 10 minutes early for work and others arrive 10 minutes late, you can
almost guess which are Defenders and which are Diplomats. It won’t be because
Diplomats thumb their noses at the rules or time clocks – it’s just that those 10
minutes aren’t as high on their mental list of priorities. However, that might be hard
to explain to Defender supervisors who find comfort in enforcing the rules. It can
become difficult to bridge this gap in attitudes and behaviors.
To Defenders, Diplomats may appear to pursue actions or ideas on a whim without
considering consequences or logistics. They don’t realize the subconscious linking of
information or feelings that have taken place that leads to their decisions. Defenders,
on the other hand, may come across to their Diplomat colleagues as overly focused
on details and unwilling to consider the overall “big picture.”
Personal Growth or Practical Needs?
Individuals – whether employees, customers, patients or students – are the most
important part of any workplace for both Diplomats and Defenders. Their ideas of
what’s needed to support these individuals, however, may differ. Defenders tend to
believe that a work environment provides services for both employees and the
individuals that utilize their services. For example, a school serves to educate
students and provides satisfying jobs for teachers with, ideally, sufficient pay and
benefits.

Diplomats believe the workplace should provide opportunities for everyone
impacted by their services. For example, a school should prepare students to engage
in careers or activities that create a better future, and provide personal and
professional growth opportunities for its employees as well. Merely “educating”
students wouldn’t necessarily go far enough – and pay and benefits are secondary to
the fulfillment of the employees’ potential.
Defenders believe that the practical needs of all individuals must be met for everyone
to benefit. Diplomats are likely to feel that merely meeting practical needs doesn’t go
nearly far enough. These differences can cause conflict when either type is convinced
that theirs is the “correct” or more noble view.
Find Shared Values
One good thing about Defenders and Diplomats is that they both prefer to foster
positive relationships in the workplace and engage in a non-confrontational way. In
that sense, Defenders can expect their Diplomat colleagues to willingly participate in
any rebalancing efforts. Specifically, Defenders may work on connecting with
Diplomats on an empathetic level. Finding shared values, such as promoting the well-
being of the company, or fighting for a client who needs their help, is likely more
effective than trying to get them on board with following the “rules.”
Defenders usually find Diplomat colleagues willing to discuss ways to work together
in more positive and efficient ways. In explaining their concerns about an idea in their
naturally compassionate way, Diplomats will likely provide them with as many facts
and details as possible. Diplomats are also likely to seek out Defenders to help them
fill in any gaps in their plans or ideas that they may not have considered. These

personality types can resolve any potential problems by understanding that both
their world views (and skill sets) have something valuable to offer.
Engage in Mutual Encouragement
Despite their different workplace priorities, Defenders and Diplomats are
appreciative of anyone who is looking to make improvements on behalf of people. In
a world where there’s such an extreme focus on profits, productivity, and power,
there doesn’t seem to be as much concern about the people being affected by these
systems. Working together, these types can improve the workplace for themselves
as well as for others by keeping the following in mind.
• Both Diplomats and Defenders are likely to benefit from focusing on
encouraging each other and supporting each other’s work.
• Defenders, in their focus on practical needs, may ask Diplomats deeper
questions about their ideas to ensure practical aspects are covered.
• Having a realistic timeline, adequate funding, and a manageable workload
may all be considerations that are evident to Defenders but potentially
overlooked by Diplomats.
• Similarly, Defenders can benefit from listening to the creative, thoughtful
components of their Diplomat colleagues’ ideas.

Defender–Sentinel Cooperation
Defender and Sentinel colleagues tend to find themselves “speaking the same
language.” They’re both about getting the job done, and it’s often the main thrust of
their conversations. This doesn’t mean that people belonging to these types won’t
engage in casual conversation, but their motivation to do so is likely be to create
harmony in the workplace. They’re both often sincerely warm and personable.
However, when it’s time to go to work, there can be a no-nonsense quality to their
conversations.
Pragmatic and Personable
Defenders are pragmatists, and with Sentinel coworkers, they can avoid the abstract,
theoretical discussions Analysts and Diplomats tend to cover. Discussions among
Defenders and other Sentinels focus on facts and procedures. They embrace
tradition and linking the past with the future.

Sentinels, especially Defenders, are nurturers who take care of other people. They
try to make others’ lives easier through establishing satisfying outcomes for everyone
involved. They tend to ensure that every possibility toward that end is considered,
spending most of their time going over logistics and organization to ensure
everything runs smoothly.
Differing Agendas
Despite their similarities, Defenders may find themselves disagreeing with Sentinel
colleagues who differ in their approach. For example, Executives may come across
as brash and confrontational, which is very unappealing to conflict-averse Defenders.
While both types are focused on getting things done efficiently, Defenders want to
make sure that the people involved are being treated fairly throughout the process.
Executive managers may push colleagues to stay late to finish a project, whereas
Defender managers are more likely to delay a project’s completion to allow
employees to spend time with their families.
Logisticians can also frustrate Defender colleagues with their unwillingness to
compromise and focus on productivity over people. Following rules and procedures
is the most important priority for Logisticians, while Defenders are more concerned
with making sure that such rules and procedures benefit the individuals most
affected by them. Defenders can become disheartened by Logisticians’ lack of
compassion and may struggle to find acceptable common ground when working with
them.

Uncomfortable with Change
The problems Sentinels may have working together most likely have nothing to do
with whether they understand each other. However, they may have trouble if they
become stuck in their own style of thinking without the benefit of insight from those
who think differently. In business and life, it’s good to have varied personality types
around to provide balance and promote inclusivity.
Discussions of extensive innovation and change may also be unsettling for
Defenders, who revere traditional ways of doing things. Sentinels bear their name
for a reason – they protect what they value, take care of others, and prefer a fixed
way of doing things. They serve as the anchors needed in a stable society. However,
the world is a rapidly changing place, and often organizations need to innovate to
compete. “Thinking outside of the box” is an overused cliché, but it’s being so
ubiquitous shows how important thinking in new ways has become.
For Defenders and other Sentinels, such challenges to the confines of the proverbial
box may feel almost like an affront. They spend a lot of time protecting systems that
work, and they’re likely to feel uncomfortable if these systems are questioned. To
balance these concerns, they can invite other personality types to the table when
discussing the development of new products or systems.
Focusing on Common Ground
Despite their different approaches, Defenders tend to find cooperation easier with
other Sentinels when they focus on their common goals. As a particularly cooperative
type, Defenders are in a prime position to bridge any gaps in understanding with

their rational, compassionate dialogue. For example, Defenders can appeal to
Executives by articulating that employee productivity is better when there’s a proper
work-home life balance.
Defenders can also provide examples of how to complete tasks efficiently and
effectively while still taking the human factor into account. These are valuable lesson
for Logisticians who may not realize it’s possible to be a productive employee while
still considering the needs of others.
Sharing the Load
Much can be said for having allies in the workplace, especially those who share the
same views and behaviors. It’s especially important for Defenders to find some like-
minded colleagues they can trust and “Share the Load with,” as Defender Samwise
Gamgee from Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings would say. Defenders may face some
genuine challenges if they’re too insistent on maintaining an unrealistic workload and
refusing to delegate.
Defenders should be particularly aware of potential control issues they and their
Sentinel colleagues may face. It’s important to understand that their ultimate goals
are probably the same in most situations – and there’s almost always more than one
way to achieve them. There are situations where it’s more important to get things
done or maintain the peace than to do them in a particular manner. It’s important
for Defenders to be able to identify these situations.

Defender–Explorer Cooperation
It’s easy to get the impression that Defenders and Explorers are complete opposites.
While they often approach things differently, both types gather their information
from the world around them instead of more internal, intuitive sources like Analysts
or Diplomats.
However, that’s where most of their similarities end. While Explorers are more in
touch with things directly and immediately, Defenders usually filter their experiences
through what they remember and how things have always been. Explorers relish the
new and exciting, while Defenders favor the safe and stable. Despite these
differences, they both speak in terms of what is practical and tangible, as opposed to
the more ambiguous or abstract dialogue favored by Intuitive types.
Practical and Tangible
Explorers and Defenders most often complement each other when things go wrong.
Sometimes even the tried-and-true ways of doing things fail, and while this can be

disconcerting to Defenders, it’s a compelling problem to solve for Explorers. In this
ever-changing world, there are times when the old methods no longer work. There
may be no other choice than to develop a new way of doing things, and Explorers’
hands-on, solutions-oriented approach can help Defenders make sense of many
new, challenging situations.
A Reliable Home-Base for Explorative Types
On the other hand, sometimes Explorers’ impulsive drive to find solutions can go off-
track. Occasionally, the best answer when a situation goes bad is to retreat to a
known starting place. “Known places” are where Defenders like to spend their time.
As Explorers get older, they may seek out Sentinel marriage partners to help them
settle down. It also makes sense that this could apply to professional situations.
There are times when boldly “winging” it can lead to effective solutions. However,
there are also times when such approaches create more problems than they solve.
Sometimes Defenders can help Explorers “come home,” figuratively speaking.
Defenders usually know how to repair a situation (or they know someone who does).
This can be of great help to Explorers who have wandered too far in the wrong
direction.
Differences in Discipline
While Explorers have no problem cutting corners when necessary, Defenders usually
dedicate their lives to making sure those corners remain pristine and intact.
Explorers tend to have a freer attitude and love things that are new and interesting.

Defenders may have a favorite restaurant they go to most of the time, while
Explorers may want to sample all the latest restaurants in town.
Entrepreneurs, with their loose ethics and brazen focus on action over substance,
are particularly likely to frustrate and offend morally conscious Defenders. Actions
are symbolic of beliefs, and Defenders believe in fairness for all people. For Explorers,
especially Entrepreneurs, actions are primarily based on their individual, often
spontaneous, desires. They aren’t necessarily uncaring toward others, but fairness
may be viewed by these types as weakness or a lack of ability to protect or promote
their own interests and well-being.
This isn’t true of all Explorers – especially those with the Feeling trait, who are much
less likely to focus on this type of self-promotion. Defenders may likely find
communication with Adventurers and Entertainers more relatable, and may struggle
with open and honest communication with seemingly less-compassionate Virtuosos
or Entrepreneurs.
Stability Meets Spontaneity
While stability seems essential to Defenders, Explorers have no problem doing
whatever they need to do to solve a problem regardless of “how it’s always been
done.” Defenders see the tried-and-true means as the way to a guaranteed end. Only
the end concerns Explorers, and they may use any means necessary to get there. For
them, it doesn’t have to follow traditional protocol.
It’s easy to see how Defenders can view Explorers as being at cross-purposes with
them. Defenders may devote an undue amount of time trying to get Explorers to
walk in a straight line according to the rules. Meanwhile, Explorers may ignore
Defenders and do whatever they think it takes – whether going in a straight line or

serpentine – to master a situation. The possibilities for conflicts between these
personality types are endless.
Embracing and Appreciating Differences
Improving cooperation between Defenders and Explorers is the ultimate balancing
act. Here are some things Defenders can keep in mind as they approach the high
wire at work.
• Defenders, for their part, need to embrace the idea that each personality type
brings their own unique set of skills and abilities to the workplace. While
everyone needs to follow the rules, continuously playing the role of “rules
police” may be more trouble than it’s worth if Explorers are contributing in
positive ways.
• In the same vein, a little acknowledgment can go a long way with Explorers,
and Defenders should make sure that they show appreciation for the good
things that Explorers do. They’re likely to reciprocate this by acknowledging
the good work that Defenders do as well.
• Defender’s ability to provide stability is of significant importance for Explorers,
as they’re the most likely to go off the tracks and give into their impulses. While
they may initially find this behavior tedious or unnecessary, Explorers are likely
to come to appreciate (and rely on) their Defender colleague’s reliability when
they’ve ventured too far off course.
• The dependability and support that Defenders provide is vital for any
workplace, but especially so when there are Explorers in the company as well.

• At the same time, much can be said for adventuring outside of one’s comfort
zone. Most growth, both professional and personal, comes from challenging
or unique experiences. Defenders who want to grow would do well to seek out
Explorers to help them test their boundaries.
• Volunteering for a project that they wouldn’t typically become involved in,
partnering with Explorers on a task they would normally do themselves, or
even just seeking out advice or a new perspective from Explorer colleagues
can provide valuable insight and promote positive cooperation.
Conclusion
Defenders often express their strength by quietly enduring hardship, determinedly
preserving structure, and selflessly taking care of others. However, one of the most
critical things for these types to prioritize is self-care, including the wise realization
that what’s most beneficial isn’t always what’s most comfortable. Sometimes, difficult
choices bring great happiness and success, whether it’s embracing useful changes,
communicating needs confidently, or preserving enough time and energy for
personal goals. Such things aren’t selfish, and ensuring their own well-being and
satisfaction only enhances what Defenders can offer others.

Final Words
Final Words
Caring for Themselves
In this e-book, we’ve discussed Defenders’ tendencies, including some attendant
challenges. It’s important for these types to understand that these aren’t
weaknesses, shameful, or something to be hidden from the world, but simply
qualities that call for balance. Defenders know the fruitful joys of sensible investment
in life, and planning such efforts toward internal growth and happiness is important.
A fulfilling life can be crafted practically and consciously, step by step, when
Defenders accept their own strength and ability to create a positive balance for
themselves.
A Supported Life
Growth through judicious change can bring prosperity and joy, but Defenders
needn’t feel pressured to be wildly adventurous in life – their direction is more
important than their pace. They possess some amazing tools: empathy, patience, and
a practical sense of responsibility. Achieving their desires may not require radical
change, but Defenders support their lives best by exploring new ways to apply these

Final Words
profound qualities. As this boundary expansion gently occurs, this often-humble type
can also discover unexpected, unfamiliar, and marvelous things about themselves
and the world.
Defenders often come to see that such growth protects rather than threatens the
security of their lives. In mind and heart, just as in the body, practicing flexibility is a
sure way to become durable. As Defenders learn to balance beneficial structure with
timely adaptability, they can handle life’s unexpected challenges with grace, further
supporting the stability they strive to create for themselves and those they love.
When Defenders diversify how that think and what they do, they enhance their own
power, and this lets them trust in themselves – and with such inner strength,
anything is possible.
The Road Ahead
We’ve covered many different topics in this profile, and we hope that the chapters
have offered insight and answered questions about the Defender personality type.
We hope that readers will now find it easier to understand other people and their
perspectives. This profile isn’t meant to be read just once. When trying to understand
another person better, or struggling to understand oneself, another read-through
can offer fresh insight.
Furthermore, spend some time on our website – for example, in our articles section,
research zone, or the Academy. There is a wealth of inspiring advice and information
on the website, and we strongly recommend that you take a look. If you have some
spare time, consider lending us a helping hand by contributing to the translation
project, taking additional surveys, or simply sending us a message and sharing your

Final Words
thoughts about this profile or the website in general. We would love to hear from
you.
We wish the best of luck to all Defenders. What matters most in Defenders’ lives is
that their paths through life reflect who they are, deep within. Reflecting on values,
dreams, and ideals often reveals the right path through life by clearing out superficial
distractions. Our lives are often too full of troubles, conflicts, and worries. By working
to better understand each other, we can make our relationships, communities, and
world more aware, more genuine, and more peaceful.
Until next time.

Final Words
All contents copyright ©2011-2018 NERIS Analytics Limited. All rights reserved. This document is
intended for personal use only and no part of it may be translated, shared, reproduced or
transmitted in any form, by any means (electronic, photocopying, recording, or otherwise)
without the prior written permission of the publisher.
The publisher has used its best efforts in preparing this document, and the information provided
herein is provided "as is." NERIS Analytics Limited will assume no liability nor responsibility to
any person or entity with respect to any loss or damage related directly or indirectly to the
information in this document (including any action or inaction taken or not taken as result of the
information contained herein). Any decisions that you make once you have read this document
are for you alone and we won’t be liable for the consequences of any such decisions.
No warranties of any kind, express or implied, are made, and the publisher specifically disclaims
any implied warranties of fitness for any particular purpose. The publisher will provide no
remedy for indirect, consequential, punitive, incidental, or other damages arising from this
document, including such from negligence, strict liability, or breach of warranty or contract, even
after notice of the possibility of such damages.
The publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, medical, financial, or other professional services.
The information in this document is educational in nature, is provided only as general
information, and is not psychological advice. Transmission of this information is not intended to
create, and receipt doesn’t constitute a psychologist-client relationship. Furthermore, this
information is not intended to be used to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or
psychological disorder.
This document is only available for purchase at https://www.16personalities.com. If you have
downloaded this document from any other website or if it has been included in any service not
provided by NERIS Analytics Limited, please be aware this is very likely an unauthorized copy. In
such and similar cases, we would be very grateful if you could get in touch with us via our website
at https://www.16personalities.com/contact-us so that we could investigate. Thank you!

Defender

Uploaded by

Document Information

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

Defender

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

What’s in This Profile?

What’s in This Profile?

weaknesses, relationships, academic path, career and professional development, as

from others who share the Defender personality type.

“The Defender” (ISFJ, -A/-T) 1

Table of Contents ............................................................................................................... 2

The Puzzle of Personality .................................................................................................. 5

Five Personality Aspects ................................................................................................ 9

Mind: Introverted (I) vs. Extraverted (E) .................................................................... 9

Energy: Intuitive (N) vs. Observant (S) .................................................................... 12

Nature: Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F) .......................................................................... 15

Tactics: Judging (J) vs. Prospecting (P) ..................................................................... 17

Identity: Assertive (-A) vs. Turbulent (-T) ................................................................. 20

Type Groups .................................................................................................................. 21

Who Is “The Defender?” ................................................................................................... 39

Personal Growth .............................................................................................................. 43

Motivation and Development ..................................................................................... 44

“The Defender” (ISFJ, -A/-T) 2

Romantic Relationships ................................................................................................... 69

Potential Role Pairings ................................................................................................. 74

Defender–Analyst Relationships ............................................................................. 75

Defender–Diplomat Relationships .......................................................................... 82

Defender–Sentinel Relationships ............................................................................ 88

Defender–Explorer Relationships ........................................................................... 94

Friendships ..................................................................................................................... 101

Defenders and Friends of Other Types .................................................................... 103

Defender–Analyst Friendships .............................................................................. 104

Defender–Diplomat Friendships ........................................................................... 108

Defender–Sentinel Friendships ............................................................................. 113

Defender–Explorer Friendships ............................................................................ 118

Parenthood ..................................................................................................................... 124

Parenting for Each Stage of Development ............................................................... 128

Building Bonds (Birth–1½ Years) ........................................................................... 129

Testing Boundaries (1½–3 Years) .......................................................................... 132

Thirst for Knowledge (3–5 Years) .......................................................................... 135

Creating Competence (5–12 Years) ....................................................................... 138

Finding Thyself (12–18 Years) ................................................................................ 140

“The Defender” (ISFJ, -A/-T) 3

Academic Path ................................................................................................................ 145

How Defenders Learn ................................................................................................ 145

Defenders in High School .......................................................................................... 151

Work or College?......................................................................................................... 158

Defenders in College .................................................................................................. 163

Lifelong Learning ........................................................................................................ 167

Professional Development ............................................................................................ 172

Jobs and Skill Sets ....................................................................................................... 178

Challenging Career Qualities ................................................................................. 181

Career Alternatives ................................................................................................. 183

Workplace Cooperation Between Roles ................................................................... 186

Defender–Analyst Cooperation ............................................................................. 187

Defender–Diplomat Cooperation ......................................................................... 191

Defender–Sentinel Cooperation ........................................................................... 196

Defender–Explorer Cooperation ........................................................................... 200

Final Words ..................................................................................................................... 205

“The Defender” (ISFJ, -A/-T) 4

The Puzzle of Personality

explore their historical foundations.

complexities of human personality into well-defined models. Although we are still

“The Defender” (ISFJ, -A/-T) 5

and an improved understanding of yourself and your relationships – not to be taken

psychology. Jung’s theory of psychological types is perhaps the most influential

functions, separated into Judging or Perceiving categories. According to Jung, each

“The Defender” (ISFJ, -A/-T) 6

how four-letter acronyms were born.