The Die Is Cast

“Isn’t molding oneself into completely opposite being of what one really is to heal the people
around an undesirable thing (!)? This perhaps is the hardest thing one could imagine to do in the
dawn of life. As dawn is to be enjoyed to its fullest but not be wasted”. His nervously quivering
hands paused. And with those, the pen halted and left a blot on the paper. He submerged in the
thoughts that how he may narrate whatever had been happening for a month or so. After
carefully considering what he wanted to say and figuring out the impressions which it may
render on Hania, he resumed writing the letter.

“But I, dear Hania, without any regret, tell you that since beginning of the last month, I’m
Standing against myself. I abandoned my needs to fulfill of someone else. I became refuge for
someone when I myself was in desperate need of someone to provide me shelter from distress of
life.” He paused for a while and resumed yet faster and started narrating the story.

“I am indecisive that whether I should begin telling story from beginning or I should start
from the end instead. I think starting from the end would be better. In fact, it all started from the
end. Shortly after returning from IBA, I befriended with Saad as he was cousin of a friend and
co-friend of my few other close friends. And he had inclinations towards literature also.
Vacations were unexpectedly soon announced. All became bound within four walls. Short
distances became long. Only thing that could keep people connected was social media. I was bit
surprised when I started receiving messages from Saad regularly. Those messages were random
and from those any could not be figured out. But, they however were enough to tell that Saad
was disturbed. I had been noticing his pessimistic social media statuses also. So, I tried to
provide him comfort zone.