Class code: 223_71ENG510053_22

Student’s name: Nguyễn Hữu Phước

Peer editor’s name: Vương Trần Gia Nhơn
Date: 15/06/2023

WRITING ASSIGNMENT – LESSON ___

Unit:
Topic: 1. Many children find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention in school.
What are the reasons? What could be done to solve this problem?

 1st draft
Many children find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention in school. This essay will examine
the possible causes and suggest several solutions to address the problem.

There are several reasons for concentrating or paying attention in school. Firstly, the most
important reason is. Children who don’t get enough sleep are often tired and have trouble
staying awake and focused on studying in class. Secondly, poor nutrition is also a cause. A diet
lacking in nutrients leads to children being tired and unable to concentrate. Lastly, one of the
causes is external influences. Children may be easily distracted by technology, such as
smartphones or computers, or by their surroundings, such as a noisy classroom.

Measures should indeed be taken to address this issue. Measures related to children's sleep
are encouraging good sleep habits. Children should get enough sleep each night to be well-
rested for school. Besides, promote healthy eating is also important. Encouraging children to
eat a balanced diet that includes plenty of fruits, vegetables, meat, fish, and whole grains along
with milk can help children focus and pay attention. The final measure for students to be more
focused is to reduce external factors. For example, teachers and parents can work together to
limit distractions in the classroom and at home, such as by turning off devices during study
time.
In conclusion, the three main causes of concentrating or paying attention in school are lack of
sleep, poor nutrition, and external influences. To tackle this problem, children should be
encouraged to take good sleep habits, to eat a balanced diet, and to reduce external factors.
  Self-assessment (checklist)
Content  Y/N  Comments/ Suggestions 

Task Response 

Does the essay contain at least 180 words?  Y   

Is the topic addressed in the introduction? Y   

Does the thesis statement clearly discuss what the
Y   
essay is about? 
Does the conclusion summarize the main points and
Y
give the author’s final opinion?
Is each of the paragraphs related to the topic?  Y   

Coherence & Cohesion 

Does the essay have an introduction, two body

 Y  
paragraphs, and a conclusion? 
Is there a clear topic sentence in each paragraph?   Y  

Does the author include any relevant examples

and/or other supporting details (explanation, Y   

reasons, etc.)? 
Are there at least 4 transitional expressions used
Y   
correctly (e.g. Moreover, Besides, However, etc.)?
Lexical Resource 

Has the question been paraphrased properly?  Y   

Does the author avoid repeating vocabulary? Y   

Have spelling and word-choice errors been
Y   
checked? 
Does the essay contain vocabulary specific to the
 Y  
topic? 
Grammar Range and Accuracy 

Does the author use a range of simple, compound,  Y  

and complex sentences? 
Have the verb tenses and subject-verb agreement
Y   
been checked? 
Has punctuation been used correctly?   Y  

Time management Y
Was the task completed within 40 minutes? Y

 Peer assessment (checklist)

 Final version

Many children find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention in school. This essay will examine
the possible causes and suggest several solutions to address the problem.

There are several reasons for concentrating or paying attention in school. Firstly, the most
important reason is. Children who don’t get enough sleep are often tired and have trouble
staying awake and focused on studying in class. Secondly, poor nutrition is also a cause. A diet
lacking in nutrients leads to children being tired and unable to concentrate. Lastly, one of the
causes is external influences. Children may be easily distracted by technology, such as
smartphones or computers, or by their surroundings, such as a noisy classroom.

Measures should indeed be taken to address this issue. Measures related to children's sleep
are encouraging good sleep habits. Children should get enough sleep each night to be well-
rested for school. Besides, promote healthy eating is also important. Encouraging children to
eat a balanced diet that includes plenty of fruits, vegetables, meat, fish, and whole grains along
with milk can help children focus and pay attention. The final measure for students to be more
focused is to reduce external factors. For example, teachers and parents can work together to
limit distractions in the classroom and at home, such as by turning off devices during study
time.

In conclusion, the three main causes of concentrating or paying attention in school are lack of
sleep, poor nutrition, and external influences. To tackle this problem, children should be
encouraged to take good sleep habits, to eat a balanced diet, and to reduce external factors.

 Rubric for grading

 Link Sharepoint/ Onedrive/ Google drive your collaboration space (optional)