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Summary Worksheet NVC
Summary Worksheet NVC
Observation
Simply say what we observe. When we combine observation with evaluation, people
are apt to hear criticism. The first component of NVC is the separation of observation from
evaluation.
Feeling
Identifying / naming our feeling when we observe this action or occurrence
Some feelings when needs are not fulfilled
Scared, Frightened, fearful, afraid Some feelings when needs are fulfilled
Impatient, anguished, disturbed, stressed Optimistic, excited, energetic, eager
Concerned, distressed, worried, tired, Hopeful, confident, positive, trustful
anxious Encouraged, inspired, stimulated
Confused, nervous, puzzled, reluctant, Interested, intrigued, curious
hesitant Amazed, surprised, delighted
Angry, upset, annoyed, irritated, furious Calm, comfortable, cool, relaxed
Indifferent, lonely, distant, passive Peaceful, carefree, composed
Ashamed, embarrassed, guilty Fulfilled, pleased, relieved, satisfied
Overwhelmed, shocked, surprised Happy, joyous, radiant
Sad, hurt, sensitive, vulnerable Touched, moved
Discouraged, frustrated, disappointed, Thankful, gratified, grateful, glad
uncomfortable, unhappy Tender, sensitive, warm
Helpless, Hopeless
Envious, Jealous
Needs
State what needs are associated with the feelings we identified: “I feel as I do because
I need ____.”
1
Some basic needs we all share
Autonomy: Choosing plans for fulfilling communication, closeness, community,
one’s dreams, goals, values. companionship,
Choice, freedom, independence, space, compassion, consideration, consistency,
spontaneity. empathy, inclusion,
Integrity: Authenticity, honesty, intimacy, love, mutuality, nurturing,
presence. respect/self-respect, security,
stability, support, to know and be
Meaning: Celebration of life and known, to understand and be
dreams fulfilled. understood, trust, warmth.
Clarity, competence, consciousness,
contribution, creativity, Physical Well-being: Air, food,
efficacy, effectiveness, growth, hope, movement, exercise, rest, sleep, sexual
learning, purpose, self expression, expression,
stimulation, understanding. safety, shelter, touch, water.
Request
Statement of what you feel you need.
Example: teacher says, “When I see papers all over the floor I feel irritated because I
need more order in our classroom. Would you be willing to pick up the papers and either
throw them away or put them in your desks?”