[

10/
10,
18:
49]‪+27730692704‬:
#201

Isl
eptpeacef
ull
ykesanamaybeitsbecauseIknew
hewashomeandsaf einsi
detheselockeddoors:
/

WhenIwokeupt
hef
oll
owi
ngmor
ninghewas
l
eavi
ng

Me:
"mmor
ning"
Hi
m: "
morning,
I'
ll
bebacki
nti
mef
orourf
li
ghtbabe
l
alakuseearly
"
Me:
"you'
renotser
ious.
..
you'
rel
eav
ingusf
orsome
mi
ssion?Agai
n?Yho"
Hi
m:"
babepl
sdon'
tdot
hat
"
Me:
"mxm Nt
ando"

Igotupandwentt
othebathr
oom,
Icri
edasmuchas
Ij
ustwantedt
obrushmyteet
handfacendaphuma
andhewasgoneo. OwhatwasIexpectingany
way .I
orderedfoodformeandmydaught er
,Iwasn'
teven
sureaboutSinomeet i
nghermom anymorenowcoz
wewer epracti
call
yindangerher
enobakeumnt u
uthihe'
ll
protectusuphingoku?

OurfoodcamebutIat
ealonecozSinowassti
ll
asl
eep.WhenIwasdoneIwenttobath,
ogqiba
kwam ndabukel
aiTVi
tsnotli
keIhadanyt
hingel
se
todo.

Whil
eIwaswat
chi
ngTVmyt
abv
ibr
ated.
..Ipi
cked
up

Me:
"Nt
ando"
Hi
m:"
youcanpacksol
ong"
Me:
"kay
"
Hi
m:"
andpls,
don'
tal
lowSinot
ogotoher
mom..
.unl
esst
hey'
ll
stayi
ndoor
s"
Me:
"mh"
Hi
m:"
shar
p"
Me:
"sho"

Isawt
hiscomi
ng-
_-
Ical
l
edAnel
i
sa

Her
:"
hel
l
o"
Me:
"hi
,
ther
e'sbeensomechangeofpl
ans"
Her
:"
regar
ding"
Me:
"yourdayoutwi
thSi
no"
Her
:"
oh,
i
yawanguNt
andoandhi
str
icksagai
n"
Me:
"Ican'
tl
ethercomet
oyouunl
ess-
"
Her:
"youcan'
t?Heeeyhuzandoyi
swe!Ngumntana
kabankantil
osi
thet
hangayenabethuna?Hay
sanuf
unandiphambanekepls"
Me:"
uphambenengoku!List
enunt
ilI
'
mf ini
shedt
hen
youcangoghet
toIdon'tgiv
eadamn" !
Her
:"
heeehaykal
okTr
i-
"
Me:"khawmeplsman,t
chi.Youcantseeherunl
ess
youwi l
lspendy
ourdayindoor
sory '
al
lwil
lbein
ser
iousdanger"

Wat
hul
a..

Me:
"Anel
i
sa"
Her
:"
I'
m st
il
lher
e..
.whathasNt
andodonenow"
Me:"
thatisnoneofy
ourbusi
nesskedear
,hoy
ale
ndi
kunikayona"

Her
:"
butkal
okIhav
etoknowwhatki
ndadanger
we'
rei
n"
Me:"
you'
reonlyindangerwheny
ou'reoutnotwhen
you'
rei
nsi
de,keepitt
hatwaykesisi
"
Her
:"
cany
ouatl
eastt
ell
mekehowdanger
ousi
tis"
Me:
"Anel
i
sa"
Her
:"
hi"
Me:"masi
ngaj
ikel
ezii
sdal
akal
oknonoi
begot
enoughprobl
emst odeal
wit
handyoudon'
thav
eto
beoneofthem.Okay"?
Her
:"
oh.
..
sor
ry"
Me:
"sho"

Ihungup- _-andstartedpacking,Iwantedsomet hing

todistractmecozNt andowasr eall
ygetti
ngonmy
nervessomehowandIknewv erywellndizoblaster
i
fndi khendat hulaandandenz anto.Ipacked,
Sino
wokeupandIpr eparedherf orhermom t henIcal l
ed
hersadi banaer ecepti
onndabashi yaandwentback
tomyr oom ndaf i
kandagqibezelalentobendiyenza.
AsIf ini
shedupandl ayont hebedwat chingacr ime
document aryIheardthedooropeni ng..
.hecamet o
theroom andl aydownnextt ome, hishandacr oss
mybodyanhi steethnibbl
ingonmyear l
obe.Ishook
him of f
,di
dheobey ?Nah.Henev erdoeswethu.
Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"mh"
Hi
m:"
utheni
ngat
hiudi
ki
wengumnt
uwakho"
Me:
"khasukekum awzi
vaunx
il
il
ewena"
Hi
m:"
haybabyI
'
m notdr
unk,
I
'mj
ustt
ipsy
"
Me:
"whatev
ert
hedi
ff
erencei
s,
poi
nti
syou'
remaki
ng
menausea"
Him:"
ooohokay..
.l
emme.
..
lemmejustgot
othe
bathr
oom ndi
xukuxekel
oveneh"

Iwasn'
tpl
anni
ngonanswer
inghi
m key
az.
..

Hewentt othebathroom,camebackadundr essed

theupperbodyandshoes,hecamebackt obed
weari
ngcamouf l
ageshor t
sandonlythat
..
.khubone
umntuabecuddlycuddlyubewenaungekhokul o
nto?Iwassooonoti nthemoodf ort
hisPDAmost ly
becausehehastimet ogoandgetdrunkwi thhi
s
mateswhilewe'r
ei nthi
sbloodymesshecr eat
edno
Kil
la.
..
ANDhehasnot i
mef orus.
..
me!Tchinhaike
nyhanisi
sigezomosesisobamnaf unekangoku
ndibenguloveydov
eycozitsui
tshim now.

Me:
"Nt
ando"
Hi
m:"
sthandwasaNt
ando"
Me:
"pl
ease"
Hi
m:"
mh?Pl
easent
oni
lov
e"
Me:
"I
'm beggi
ngy
ou,
gety
ourhandof
fme"
Hi
m:"
hai
bondenzeni
nababe.
..
awundi
funi
"?
Me:
"ewe"
Hi
m:"
yhu!Bekheway
ival
ent
ouThando?Uphi
khona"
Me:
"bumshi
yephi
"
Hi
m:"
bendi
mshi
yenawe.
..
uphi
uThandobabe"
Me:
"ukuAnel
i
samaanuThando"
Him:"
ooh,Il
oveyouy
az.DidIt
ell
youthat
?Yhoheh
babe,
Ilov
ey ouman,
it
sli
keyoudon'
tunderst
and"
Ij
ustlef
thimthereandwentt
othebathr
oom,di
dmy
busi
nessndabuyaandhewasonmyphone. .
.t
alki
ng
:onjal
onje?Wancokolaumnt
uwonelathenhe
handedmet hephone

Me:
"l
ow"
Hi
m:"
arey
ougr
and"
Me:
"shar
pyou"
Hi
m:"
I'
m okay
..
.ar
eyousur
eyou'
reokay
"?

OhuMar cuskezi
Nkosizam he'
l
lplaygangst
a
det
ect
iveonme.Allt
histi
meNt andoislooki
ngat
me

Me:
"how'
smom"
Him:"
mom i
sgreat
,she'
soutl
i
vingwi
thus.Don'
t
changet
hesubj
ect
"
Me:
"oht
hat
'sgr
eat
,Ican'
twai
ttoseeher
"
Hi
m:"
insur
ethef
eel
i
ngImut
ual
..
.myanswer
"
Me:
"I
'm sur
eboet
"
Hi
m:"
okay
,I
'l
lseeyoutoni
ght
.Pl
easebecar
eful
and
r
ememberI'
m her
eforyouokay
"
Me:
"Iknow,
Il
ovey
ou"
Hi
m:"
lov
eyout
ooLi
lsi
s"

Ihungupandtookmysecondphoneandst
arted
text
ing,
okokeuNtandoencokol
aandi
mhoy
itu.

Hewasn' treall
ydrunk..
.true,hewast i
psybutkeI
wasn'tr eall
yinthemoodf orhi sti
psinessnje.Hel ay
downandcl osedhisey es...
may benappingIdon' t
know.Igotdr essedint racksuitandsneaker st henI
l
efthim nday aemal l
.Neededsomeai randani ce
cream, Ididn'
tgof arwet huIj ustwentt osteerst hen
backt ot heroom ndafikael elendat hathaii
phones
zakhet hatwer ejutlyi
ngnextt ohi m andwent
througheachandev eryone...kalokI'
m stil
ll
ooki ng
fordirtonChumamossoev erychanceIgetImust
usei
t.
NotthatIf
oundany thi
ngusef ul exceptf or
messagesbetweenhi m andhi sguy s..
.that'
snoneof
mybusinessthoughIreadt hemessageske: v:
vLol
Iwasjustpassi
ngt i
me.WhenIgotbor eduwentt o
wakehim up..
.t
hreehourslater,atl
eastbyt henhe'd
besobermos.

Me:
"baby
"
Hi
m:"
mh"
Me:
"khawv
uket
ana"
Hi
m:"
yho"

Heturned,
tookmyphoneandcheckedt
het
imet
hen
satup.
[
10/
10,
18:
50]‪+27730692704‬:
#202

Helookedatmewi
thhal
f-openedeyesandsmiled.
..
I
don'
tknowhowhedoesthat,
smili
ngatmerighta
mi
nut
eaf
terwaki
ngupf
rom adr
unkensl
eep.

Hi
m:"
awsemhl
e"
Me:
"awsesober
"

Hel
aughed,
camecl
oser
..
.Iduckedndamj
ongao.
O
wot
hukaatmyact
.

Hi
m:"
what
"?
Me:"
real
l
y?Youwannakissmebutyouhaven'
t
br
ushednorwashedorr
insedy
ourmouth"
?
Hi
m:"
oht
hat
..
.y
eah"

Hegotofft
hebedandwentt ot
hebat
hroom,
his
phoner
ang:vnowwasmychancet or
eturnt
he
fav
orndayi
that
handasabel
a

Me:
"Ranger
"
Hi
m:"
Tri
na"
?
Me:
"sup"
Hi
m:"
yhof
ondi
n..
.Awnqabe,
ugr
and"
Me:
"ndi
shar
pwena"
Hi
m:"
moj
a..
.i
phi
king"
Me:
"bat
hroom,
message"
Hi
m:"
nah,
I
'l
lcal
lhi
mlat
er.I
tsnot
hingur
gent
"

Hecamebackdr
yinghi
sface.
..
hel
ookedatme
chi
l
ledl
awei
..
.

Me:"
okayI'
l
ltel
lhi
m..
.noonsecondt
hought
s,Iwon'
t
t
ell
him."
Hi
m:"
hehehai
bof
ondi
n"
Me:
"I
'm deadser
ious"
Hi
m:"
why
"
Me:
"haytchi
nwhenhestar
tstheseconv
ersat
ions
wi
thy'
all
asozendphi
ndendimfumane"
Him:"
hehf
ondi
ndoyouknowhowi
mpor
tanti
tisf
or
ustofi
ndhi
m whenweneedhi
m"
Me:
"Idon'
tcar
e!KhonaAwnasi
siy
int
onf
ondi
n"

:
vI'v
eneverbeenthi
scomfortabl
ewi
tht
hisguy
..
.I
don'
tknowhowt hi
shappened.

Hi
m:"hahahay
hoI '
venev
eri
maginedyousayi
ng
t
his,
i
ngavuyai
grootmanxai
nokuvausi
tsho"
Me:
"neh?"
Hi
m:"l
awei.
..
he'sal
waystel
li
ngushowweshoul
d
r
especty
oubl ahbl
ahblah"
Me:"
hampaudeut
hibl
ahbl
ahbl
ahawnant
loni
..
.
Tchi
ni"

Hel aughedev enmor e.

..
wethenhungup.Ntando
wasal readyseatednexttomelist
eni
ngqha
ndizixeleleandi
zomnikatul
ephone.Icoul
dsmell
theLil bitoffr
eshness:
DIlaymyheadleaningon
hi
sshoul
derndacof
alephoney
akhegoi
ngt
hrough
ev
ery
thi
nginsi
deit

Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"mh"
Hi
m:"
whower
eyout
alki
ngt
o"
Me:
"Ranger
"
Him:"
oh.
..
y'
all
arefri
ends?Ohwai
t,
talki
ngonmy
phone?Am Imissi
ngsomethi
nghere"?
Me:
"whenar
ewegoi
ng"
Hi
m:"
int
heev
eni
ng"
Me:
"mmh"
Hi
m:"
youhav
en'
tanswer
edme"
Me:
"Idon'
tpl
ant
o"
Hi
m:"
mmh,
ungakhal
ikexandi
yenza"
Me:
"uzobeuny
anzel
i
sway
int
on?CozIdohav
eval
i
d
r
easons"
Wat
hul
a..
.
Idon'tknow. .
.Ij
ustwant edt obel oved,
attendedto,
takenintoconsiderati
on, alotbutIknewIcoul dn'
t
j
ustsayi tasitis.All
Icoul ddowashopet hathe'
ll
catchon,may beunder st
andhowIf eelev enthoughI
didn'
tquiteexplainmy self.Any wayIgotupandwent
tomakegr eenteaformy selfndabuy ajustashel ay
onhisbackl ookingupwar ds..
.Isatbelowhi m,my
l
egsspr eadonbot hhisthighsgqi bandaphunga

Hi
m:"
wecan'
tst
ayf
orl
ongi
nCT"
Me:
"why
"
Hi
m:"
we'
rei
nbl
oodwarbaby
..
.ev
eryst
epi
sar
isk"
Me:
"yetuy
akwazukheuy
onxi
l
a"
Him:"
wewer ecelebr
ati
ngourminiv
ict
ory
babe.
..
uyayaznawei don'
tusual
l
ygetTHATt
ipsy
undernor
mal ci
rcumstances"
Me:
"THAAATt
ipsyneh?Mk.Ndi
thul
emnt
wam"
Hecamef orthandkissedmychin:vI'
dli
keto
beli
evetheaim wastheli
pskeqhawabhi dwa
ngumkhondoumf omkhulu.WhenIwasdone, Il
ay
downnextt ohi
m,hesatup, r
emovedmycl ot
hesthen
l
eftmewi thunderwearonlyhel
ayhisheadonmy
bump,bothhisarmsencircl
ingmybodyina
prot
ecti
vemodeandhi swholebott
om bodywason
mine:v

Me:
"baby
,but
hesi
hambawhatt
imekanene"
Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"l
ove"
Him:"
please.
..
justcl
oseyoureyesandimagi
nethe
fr
eshestwaterfal
lsur
roundedbychir
pingbi
rdsand
beaut
ifulf
lowers"
Me:
".
..
.oh"
Hi
m:'
'
you'
l
lenj
oyal
loft
his"
Me:
'
'l
emmet
ry"
:
)

Icl
osedmyey esandi magi nedt hi
sbeaut ifulplace
wit
hbeaut if
ulall
uringspr ingcolors,summerbi rds
andf reshcleanshower sofwat er.
..Ist
arted
rel
axing,mybodybecameeasyandt hi
sni ggawas
snoringslightl
ycabauy aphindauy alal
a.Idi dn'
twake
up..
.hadnoener gyt o,hewasbondi ngwi t
hhi sson
now...Icouldn'
tfightt hat.It
slikethosesacr ed
moment sy oucan'tr eall
ydisturbman.Ial sodr i
fted
off
.

Jongaawnapi ct
ureucaphukakwam whenmy
beauti
fulrestwasdistur
bedbyaphonecall
..
.wor
se
yeyam,notjustanyphonecallnguAnel
i
sa.Yho
mtrini
ty!

Me:
"mmh"
?
Her
:"
hey
..
.y
ousl
eepi
ng"
Me:
"f
unani
bra"
Her
:"
sor
ry,
Iwant
edt
oknowwhatt
imewi
l
lyouwant
Si
no"

Ndakhendaci
mel
a..
.IshookNt
ando,
hel
ookedup

Me:
"si
hambawhatt
ime"
Hi
m:"
eveni
ng,
who'
sthat
"?

It
houghtofat
ime.
..

Me:
"pastsi
x"
Her
:"
ohokay
..
.t
hanks"
Me:
"sho"

Ihungup.
..
babywaphakamaIjoi
nedhim butIwent
tothebat
hroom f
ir
standhewait
ed,whenIcameout
hewentinIsatonthebedandor
deredmy sel
fdecaf
cuppawit
hjam swissr
oll
andwaitedfort
heroom
ser
vice.Hecameoutandat
ethei
n-ser
vicecooki
es

Hi
m:"
bawel
ainy
ama"
Me:
"cal
lther
est
aur
ant
"

Hecamet ositnexttome,ki
ssedmyl i
pswi t
ha
seri
ousface.
..
Ismiled,
noIactuall
ygiggled.Hedi di
t
agai
n:vhehadt hi
sal l
seri
ousandi nti
mi dat
inglookI
hadtolaughseri
ouslyIcoul
dn'tholdmy self
,hai
bo
unj
anilomfanakanti>_<

Hi
m:"
Ithi
nky
ousai
dsomet
hingear
li
er"
Me:
"Idi
d"?
Hi
m:"
ubut
heawsandf
uni
"
Me:
"kakade"
Hi
m:"
ndenzeni
"?
Me:
"i
fyour
emembermesay
ingt
hatt
heny
oushoul
d
r
ememberwhyIsai
dit
"
Hekissedmeagai n.
..
wit
hmorepassi
onthis
ti
me,haymntakadadandizi
sokol
i
simnaIkissedhi
m
back,
whenhepulledbackIj
ustkeptf
ocusedand
l
ookedathim

Hi
m:"
souci
ngaut
hini
"
Me:
"umnt
uengamf
uni
umnt
uuy
eat
hini
"?
Hi
m:"
bay
ebohl
ukanekal
ok"
Me:
"t
hensokwehl
ukananat
hikal
ok"
Hi
m:"
ooh.
..
canIbr
ingyoui
Panadobabe?It
hinky
ou
mi
ghthav
eaheadacheormaybeuqal
wayifl
u"
:
v
:
v

Me:
"noI
'
mfi
ne,
sout
hini
kebabewam"
Him:"
babeunayonjewenanobai
nci
nci
indawo
engekhor
ightncam"
Me:
"babet
hat
'sani
nsul
t"
Hi
m:"
noi
tsnot
,i
tsanobser
vat
ionmyl
ove"

Iki
ssedhi m,tenderl
yanddemandi nglyandhegav e
i
nhi sall
..
.Ipushedhim ont hebedandweki ssed
evenmor ewi thoutbreakingt
osayany t
hing.
..
the
wayhe'sbusyi t
shardt oconnectwit
hhimt hese
days.IknewIhadt otellhim,
cozIwasn'thappy.
..

Ibr
oket
heki
ssandl
ookedathi
m..
.hi
sey
esr
eddi
sh

Me:"
youdon'
thav
eti
mef
orme,
Iknow.
..
butpl
str
yto
pr
ior
it
ize"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
try
,Ipr
omi
se"
Me:
"Iwannaseei
tnotheari
t"

Heki
ssedmyl
i
ps.
..
Hi
m:"
Ipr
omi
se"
Me:
"t
hanky
ou"

Yho.
..
hayndamt
handal
omnt
umahn!Tchi
:v!
[
10/
10,
18:
50]‪+27730692704‬:
#203

Hecall
edther
estaurantandor
deredst
eakandribs
forbot
hofuswit
hmashandGr eeksal
ad,
thefood
cameandweindulged.

Me:
"Imi
sshome"
Hi
m:"
we'
l
lret
urnt
omor
rowev
eni
ng"
Me:
"sowe'
reonl
ygoi
ngt
oCTf
oroneday
"?
Hi
m:"
yes.
..
ther
e'ssomethi
ngIgot
tadot
her
ebef
oreI
t
akeyoubacktoJo'bur
g"
Me:
"youmeany
ouwon'
tbest
ayi
ngi
nJo'
bur
g"?

Heshookhi
shead.
..
thatbummedmeabi
t.ButI
cont
inuedeat
ing.

Hi
m:"
plstel
lyourf
ri
endt
oret
urnumnt
anaf
uneka
si
mgodusil
ebefor
ewego"
Me:
"myf
ri
end"
?
Hi
m:"
ani
zof
ri
endskant
i"
Me:"
eshe,
yi
ntonnababywaskewaneunnecessar
y
dr
ama"
Hi
m:"
I'
m aski
nganhonestquest
ionnjena.
..Okay
r
ephr
ase,cal
lAnel
i
saaziseumntwana"
Me:
"bi
yi
ntoni
enzi
makuqal
a"

Hel ookedatmeandchuckl ed,

shaki
nghishead.We
continuedeatingwhil
eIcal
lhisbabymomma, Iwent
tomeethersamepl aceImetherngokubendimnika
herchild,
theyhuggedthenIwenttomyroom with
Sino.Herf at
herwasshoweringsowejustpacked
herowncl othesandwenttositonthecouch.
Me:
"howwasy
ourday
"
Her:
"weplay
edgamesi
nherr
oom,
cal
l
eduncl
e
Lwande"
Me:"
mmh,Ithoughty
ouwer
egonnagooutandhav
e
somefunthough"
Her
:"
shesai
dther
e'sanacci
dentout
side"
Me:
"ohshame,
I
'm sor
ryhey
"
Her
:"butwepl
ayedandat
eal
otofi
cecr
eam.
..
don'
t
t
ell
makhulunehmama"
Me:
"Iwon'
t,
Ipr
omi
se"
Her
:"
thanky
oumama"

:
)

Hi
m:"
mar
arakat
atakhe"

Shejumpedandrantohim scr
eaming:vIl
ovet
hei
r
bondthough.I
nfactbondkaNtandonabant
wana
bakhemant
ouchesmesomewher
edeep.
..

Hi
m:"
howwasy
ourday
"?
Her
:"
yhodaddyheee"

:
vwahlekaandt
heywenttotheot
hersidebancokol
a
asheworeaTee,heal
readyhadt
rousersonthen
babuy
a

Hi
m:"
babeMoi
sonhi
sway
"
Me:
"si
sezosaumnt
anake"
Hi
m:"
Iknow,
getdr
essedbabesi
hambe"
Me:
"ooohi
tshol
ent
o"
Wor sekeuNt andowhenhe' sbusyhe'sbusy..
.I
occupiedmy sel
fwithmyphoneunt i
lhal
fway
thr
ought hefli
ghtwhenhecamet osi
tnextt
ome
andunpluggedt heheadsetsonmyear s:)Ijust
smiledandlookedathim..Idon'tknowwhybutIj ust
thi
rstedtoki
sshi m.Ij
ustwant edtoholdhim cl
ose
andsuckhim dr
y:vLol
ohsorr
y'
ini
wethu,
okayback
ontr
ack,
wekissednobabendabuyaumvawhenI
wasaLilcont
ent

Hi
m:"
uyand'
bawi
sakodwaMamzangwa"
Me:
"ngant
oni
ngokul
ovi
e"
Hi
m:"
uyay
aznj
e"
Me:
"babekodwawenaur
ongo"
Hi
m:"
ndenzeni
mnt
uwam"
Me:"whenwasthel
astti
mewemadel ov
e?Ooh
okanyendi
dendacoldasSosowoul
dsayit
"

Helaughed:
vIwasser
ious.
..
Lol
no,
Iwaspl
ayi
ng
ser
ious.

Hi
m:"
youshoul
dn'
tl
ist
ent
oSosookoy
azbabe"
Me:
"hewassay
ingt
het
rut
hkey
az"
Hi
m:"
buty
ouknowy
ou'
renotcol
d,I
'
vej
ustbeen
busy
"
Me:
"t
oobusyf
orme"
Hi
m:"nonol
ove,
Icannev
erbet
oobusyf
ory
ou
st
handwasam"
Me:
"wor
ds"

Wahl
ekaagai
n..
.

Hi
m:"
hey
,ndi
sent
weni
aphakuweneh"
?
Me:
"uqhel
eubaqhat
hant
anga"
Hi
m:"okay
..
.I
'l
lmakethi
spr
omiseagai
n.Iwi
l
l make
t
imeforyou.Ipr
omise,
asl
ongasyouknowthat
whenIworkIwork.
..
"
Me:"
thoughty
ouwer
egonnat
ell
mesomet
hing
f
resh"
Hi
m:"
iyhooo!Heh"
:
v
:
v
Wel andedandheadedhome...
notyothefl
atbutt
o
thehouse,l
euIvorakuyo.Whenwearri
vedther
eI
wentt ofr
eshenupgqibandal
ala:
(mybabywas
ti
red,hecametositnexttomeandbrushedmyhair
outofmyf ace

Hi
m:"
you'
resobeaut
if
ul,
youknowt
hatr
ight
"
Me:
"t
hanksf
orr
emi
ndi
ngme"
Him:"Icoul
ddot
hatt
il
let
erni
tyandy
ou'
dnev
erget
bored"
Me:
"mmmh,
uyaphi
babe"
Him:"
Iuhm,Ihavetogooutforafewminutes,geta
fewupdatesfr
om theguysandsetthem ontaskbut
IpromiseI
'l
lbebackbefor
ey ouwakeup.
Me:
"mmkay
"

Hekissedmylipsandcov
eredme
waphuma..
.ndalal
acum.
[
10/
10,
18:
52]‪+27730692704‬:
#204

Af teracoupl eofhour sWhi l

esleepi
ngIswearI
hear dvoicegoi ngar oundthehouse..
.butIhear
d
from adi stanceandmymi ndsaidI'
m dreaming.
WhenIsmel tgasol i
neIjumpedoutofbed, wor
e
slippersandagownndaf akatwoofmyphonesi n
thepocket sleavingthetabont hebedndaphuma. .
.
Onmywayappr oachingthestair
sIbumpedont o
Chumaandt osayIwasshockedwasan
under statement .

Me:"whatt
hehell
?ChumaUf
unani
apha?Who
openedforyou"
?

JongaIwasstressi
ngkengokcozi twasclearshe'
s
burni
ngthehousedownorsomepar tofthehouse
kecozIknowforsurehowt odif
ferenti
atebetween
gassmellandpureoxygen.Tomaket hingsworse
kal
okChumaandAnel isahavethatstoryofalmost
burni
ngdownumnt anabantu,
it
sclearnowt hatshe
wasthesamepersonwhor
eal
lyor
chest
rat
ed
ev
ery
t hi
ngf
rom t
hebegi
nni
ng.

Her:
"sagagana!UphiuNtandotopr
otecty
ounow?
Huh?Liphieli
gint
sauthembel
engal
o"
Me:
"sel
eli
gint
sakuwengoku?Uphel
elephi
ubaby
"?
Her:
"sozeayekeubanguyeubabywam uNtandobut
kukhoezidi
stract
ionszi
nini
aphemacal
eni
"
Me:"
dist
ract
ions?Hewet
hu!Whatt
hehel
lareyou
doi
nghere?Whyi st
hehousesmel
li
ngofgas"
?

Sheblurt
edoutthatev
il
,sat
anic,
i
rri
tat
inghoelaugh.
..
Andheldherwaisti
nadomi nati
vewayr i
ghtatthe
topofthest
air
s,wewerejustafootapart
.

Her:
"ohyoutoocansmel
lthat
?You'
resmar
t,
orat
l
eastIthoughtso"
Me:
"Chuma"
Her
:"
we'
renotf
ri
ends,
don'
tbef
ami
l
iarwi
thmy
name"
Me:
"hav
eyougonei
nsane"
Her:
"youhaven'tseenhal
fofit
..
.pi
tyyourmancan'
t
saveyou,yoursupermanlef
tyoualonethi
nki
ng
you'
resafe,
ri
ght"
Me:
"sav
eme"
?

Wahl
eka.
..Iwasst
art
ingt
obecomener
vousnow.
..

Her
:"
awmuncumanTr
ina"
Me:
"your
eal
l
ydohav
esomel
oosewi
resst
ru'
bob"
Her
:"
inamatt
erofmi
nut
esy
ouwi
l
lhav
esomel
oose
l
imbsmylov
e"
Me:
"doesNt
andoknowy
ou'
reher
e"
Her
:"
hedoesn'
thav
eto.
..
but
,soonhewi
l
l"
Me:
"hayuy
ahl
any
awena"
Her
:"af
terthi
smoment,
you'l
lbehist
ory.
..
sonana,
you
bet
tertakeaver
ycar
efulandsincer
elookofyour
surr
oundi
ngscozi
tst
hel
astt
imey
ou'
reseei
ng
them"

Itookasteptowardsthestair
swahl eka,
asshe
l
aughedIcouldsmel lf
ir
enow.Isawf lamescoming
from t
hekit
chenandsmoket hroughthelounge,
I
wasabouttor unbacktofetchmyt hingsinthe
room whenshepulledmebyt hehoodoft hegown.
..
.
.
.
.

Iwentr
oll
ingbackwar
dsdownfrom thefir
sttopto
thebot
tom oft
hestai
rs.
..
aft
ert
hat
,Iblackedout!
-

Ididn'
tgai
nconsciousnessasyetorr
ightt
hen,butI
couldhearsounds,si
rens,
car
s,f
ootst
eps,voi
ces
thoughIcouldn'
tmakeoutwhowaswho.Myt hroat
wasdry,
bendir
haxi
wengumsiIswearcozthoughi
wassubconsci
ousmyheadwasspinningin
numer
ouscircl
es.
.myt
hroatwasanotherst
ory.
Iwast ranspor t
edtothehospi t
al.
..t
her ecept
ionist
call
edapor tertorushmet otheemer gencyroom
wher etheygav emenumer ousinjecti
onsand
remov edt hedeadbabyf rom mywomb.Ihadn' tfel
t
thepainsofl oosingthebabykey az...
Iwashal f
conscioushal funconsciousandt hatmeantI
couldn'treal
lymakeoutwher eIwas, whatwas
happeni ng.Icouldn'
ttel
lanythi
ngatt hatpointand
mybr ainwasmal functi
oninginsomewei rdway .

-
Doc:
"er
h,Nol
u,pl
shel
pmeIneedt
oseef
ami
l
yoft
he
newcasualt
ypati
ent
"
Her
:"
ther
e'saguyov
ert
her
ewai
ti
ngt
oseeher
"
Doc:
"i
shet
heonewhobr
oughtherher
e"?
Her
:"
yesdoc,
hi
m andt
woot
her
s"
Doc:
"okay
,l
etmet
alkt
ohi
m"
Doct
orPhil
wenttoMarcus..
.hereachedhi
m same
ti
measRangerdid.Marcusstoodupatatt
enti
onas
hesawthedoct
orapproachi
nghim

Mar
c:"
doc,
i
ssheawake?Howi
sthebaby
"?
Doc:"
excusemesi
r,
howr
elat
edar
eyout
othe
pat
ient"
?
Mar
c:"
she'
smysi
ster
"
Doc:
"ohplsf
oll
owmesi
r,
wehav
esomet
hingt
o
di
scuss"
Nt
ando:"
I'
m sur
eIal
sohav
etobepar
toft
hat
di
scussi
on"

Theyhadalreadyt
akenafewsteps,
whenhespoke
uptheyhal
tedandturnedbackt
olookathi
m.

Doc:
"andwhoi
she"
?
Mar
c:"
..
.j
ust
..
..
lethi
m come"

Theyfol
lowedeachothertot
hedoctorsoff
iceand
satdown...
Ntandowasli
keavisi
tori
nsomeone's
house,
quietli
keachur
chmousey etrat
tl
edlikea
str
eetki
d.

Doc:
"okaygentl
eman,I'
m doct
orPhi
li
pandI
'
llbe
at
tendi
ngtoy oursi
sterfr
om nowon"
Mar
c:"
yousai
dyouwant
edt
odi
scusssomet
hing"
Doc:"
yes.
..
ther
e'ssomegoodnewsandbadnewsat
thesametime"
Nt
ando:
"goodonesf
ir
st"
Doc:
"she'
srecov
eringandr
eacti
ngpret
tygoodt
o
medicat
ion.
..
bytomorrowmorni
ngI'
m sur
eshe'
l
lbe
awake"
Mar
c:"
badnews"
?
Doc:
"ourpat
ientsuf
fer
edandl
ostagr
eatdeal
of
bl
ood"
Nt
ando:
"and"
?
Doc:
"duetot
hesever
efall
shehadencounter
edas
you'
veper
cei
vedort
hought,shehasl
ostt
hebaby"
Nt
ando:
"no"
Mar
c:"
no.
..No"
Doc:"I
'm sosorr
y,t
herewasnothi
ngwecoul
ddo.In
orderforhertostopbleedi
ngwehadt
oremovethe
foetusimmediately
"

Ther oom wassuddenl yfil

ledwithat hickblanketof
grief,si
lenceandpain...Nt andowal kedoutoft he
officeandwal kedintomyr oom.Het ouchedmy
handashesatdownont hechai rnextt omine
wal i
la..
weepingnotcryi
ng...Mar cuswal kedinand
stoodbyt hedoor,
thenturnedandl eft,giv
ingntando
achancet ocryadeaxole.

Idi
dn'
twakeup...
ntandomusthavespentuptosi
x
hour
sehl
elinam butIdon'thav
enotevenone
movement.Notevenlif
ti
ngupmyf i
nger.
..
an
i
ndicati
onatl
eastt
hatI
'
m notavegetablekal
oku.
Haysanawancamawahamba,IwasleftwithMarcus,
nay
el owowancamahehadtogoandf reshenup..
.

Rightacoupleofminutesaf
terhehadlef
t,Iwokeup
l
ookingaround,
taki
nginandregist
eri
ngwhat
happened,
whereIam. .
.howIgottobehere..
..

Me:
"Chuma"
Doc:
"i
sthatyoursi
sterorf
ri
end?Ory
ouwantust
o
fi
ndherfory
ou"?

Ilookedathi m andshookmyhead. .
.Iaskedfor
wat erIdrankthewholebottl
eandlaymyheadon
thepi l
l
ow.Ri ghtthenIf
eltanumbishpaininmy
wombIt ouchedmybel ly
,Il
ookedatthedoctor,
touchedal lovermystomachandhadpani cattacks

Me:"
where.
..
.Is..
.My.
..
.Baby?
??Doct
or?What
..
.
Happened.
..
to..
..
my.
..
.baby
"?
Doc:
"cal
m downmi
ssSmi
th"
Me:"
don'
ttel
lmetocal
m downIwantmy
baby
,wher
eishe?Whathavey
oudonetomybaby
"?
Hi
m:"
missSmithplscal
m down.
..I
'
m sosor
ry
ma'
am,y
oulostyour-
"

Uyasaziisi
khalosentombi ezothwalwangaphandl
e
kwemv umey ayo?Ihavenevercriedli
kethati
nmy
enti
reli
fe..
.Ikeptontouchingmebel lyhopi
ngtofeel
akickorsomet hi
ng..
somemov ementofanysort
wouldhav ebeenmuchappr eciat
edIsweart oGodI
neededtof eelhisheartbeati
nginunisonwithmine.
..

Me:'
'
doctorIwantt
oseemybaby!Why?Whydi
dthi
s
hav
et ohappentome?Godwhathav
eIdone"
?

Icoul
dsmel lNtando'
scolognebutIdidn'
tsee
him..
.whenIturned,
hewasaboutt wofeeti
nreach,
I
tr
iedgetti
ngoutofbedbuti twasn'
taseasyasit
l
ookedlike:(Iwasstil
lcr
ying,
managingasentence
i
nbet
weent
hosepai
nful
l
yhear
tfel
ttear
s

Me:
"babyIwantmybaby
!Tel
lthi
sguyt
obr
ingme
mybaby..
.pl
ease"

Hecamet ohugme,yhohaikeyav
ulekait
ap
yasekhay
andagi
xaoko.WhenIwasabi tcal
mer
..
.he
satnextt
ome,sti
ll
keepingthehugclose

Hi
m:"
hey
"
Me:
"Iwantt
oseemyson.
..
please"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tthi
nki
twi
l
lbeagoodi
deababe"
Me:"
Idon'tcar
e..
.Iwa-
..
.Ica-ooohLor
dwhathav
eI
doneforsuchpunishment?Huh"?

Hejustl
aymyheadonhischestandal
l
owedmet o
cr
y..
..Hewasal
socr
yinginasmartwaythough.
[
10/
10,
18:
56]‪+27730692704‬:
#205
Iwoul dn'tsayIcr i
edenough,butIwastiredofcr y
ing
forsur e.Iremov edmyheadf rom hi
schest /shoulder
andt ookwat eranddrank.Atl
eastnowi singqal
a
besiphel i
lekancinciIj
ustsatalone,
numb. ..
Ihad
nothingt osaybutIr emember edeveryt
hing.Iknew
everythingf r
om detailt
odetail
.Ntandocamecl oser
andsatnextt omeImov edbackupy othewal l
wandi j
ongaqui zzi
call
y

Hi
m:"
babe.
..Cany
our
ememberwhathappened"

Ilookeddeepi
ntomyheartandsear
chedf orwhatt
o
tell
him.Idi
dn'
twanthi
mt ohateChumaj ust
becauseofwhatIwastotel
lhi
m andthatalone
broughtmetothi
sdeci
sionandconcl
usion...

Me:
"no"
Hi
m:"notevenonebit
?WhenIlef
tyou,
youwere
sl
eepi
ng,howdidyoulandatt
hebot
tom oft
he
st
air
s"?

Isattheremouthshut .
..OhLor dbetterhelpChuma
cozIdidn'twantNt andot odeal wit
hher ,
Iwantedt
o
dealwithhermy self.Iwant edhert obegme, I
wantedtohearherscr eam, Iwant edtoseeher
tear
s,Iwantedtof eelheragonysobadt hatas
Ntandocont i
nuedspeaki ng,Icouldn'
thearonebitof
whathewassay ing,well notuntilhetouchedmy
handandIj umped. .
.Lol bendothukileman.

Hi
m:"
arey
ouokay
"?
Ndamj
onga
Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
ry.
..
wrongquesti
on.Ineedy
out
o
r
emembersomething.
..
thi
nk"
Me:
"Idon'
twannat
hinkabouti
t"
Hi
m:"baby,
youar
etheonlyper
sonwhocant
ell
us
whathappenedt
her
e..
.pl
s"
Me:"
allIcanthinkaboutr
ightnowi
smybaby
,don'
t
youunderstandthat"
?
Mydoct orwalkedinwit
hMar cusandEl i
zabethIj
ust
feltmorepain,
heart
achewhenIsawmor ebrot
herya
wor sewhenhehuggedmey hozav elazehl
a
i
iny embeziandtheywereuncontr
ollabl
ekengok.He
all
owedmet ocrythenNtandomov edsot heycoul
d
sitdown...

Hi
m:"
howy
ouf
eel
i
ng"
Me:
"empt
y"

Hel
ookedatNt
ando.
.
Hi
m:"
cany
ougi
veusami
nut
e"

Nay
ewav
elawaphakamaandcl
osedt
hedoor
..
.

Li
z:
"I
'm sosor
ry"
Me:
"I
'l
lbef
ine"
Hi
m:"
doy
our
ememberany
thi
ng"
?
Me:
"no"
Him:
"pl
str
y..
.di
dhedot
his?Di
dyouguy
shav
ea
f
ight
"?
Me:
"no"
Hi
m:"
nowhatTr
inal
i
que"
Li
z:
"Mar
cpl
s"
Me:"
nowedi dn'
tfi
ght
,nohedi
dn'
tdoany
thi
ng,
he
wasn'
tther
e"
Hi
m:"
whowas?Soy
oudoknowsomet
hing"

Iswal
l
owed.
..

Me:
"no"
Him:
"ohcummonTeeIknowy
ou'
rel
yi
ngt
omer
ight
now"
Me:
"I
'm not
..
.doc,
Iwannar
estpl
s"
Hi
m:"
real
l
y?Tr
inawhoar
eyoupr
otect
ing"
?
me:
"I
'm notpr
otect
ingany
one"
hi
m:"
thent
ell
met
het
rut
h"

Il
ookedatdoct
orPhi
l

Mydoctoraskedthem t
oleavesoIcangetmyrest
.
AssoonasIknewt heyweregoneIsear
chedf
ormy
phonesIdi
dn'tf
indevenone:ocr
ap!!
!
Ilayont hatbedor chest r
atingmy
plan,
grievi
ng,crying,askingmy sel falotofquest i
ons
untilIf
ellasleep...andhadar epetit
ionofwhat
happened, nowi nadr eam ndot hukewhent hedoct or
shookmeup, Isatupandhuggedmykneescr y i
ngin
themostpai nfulwayI '
veev erycr ied.WhenIl ostmy
mom azangendi khalekanje, whenIcr iedbecauseof
Ntandokwakungekhokanj e,wheni fel
tthoseAUB
painskwakungekhol ikethis...ev endescribingthis
wasami ssion, i
twasaspai nf ulast heycome, my
heartwasshat tered.Myconf idencewasshat tered.
Myl ovewast rampl edon,mywomanhoodwast aken
awayf rom mebyaf ell
owwoman.Yhoheeeeee!The
doct
orwast
alki
ng.
..
Idon'
tev
enknowwhathewas
sayi
ng.
..

WhenIopenedmyeyes,snappi
ngfrom thedungeon
thatIwasi
n,Nt
andowashere.Lookingatmei nthe
mostpainf
ulway,
hewantedtotouchme, Ibacked
away

Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"Iwannagohome"
Hi
m:"
you'
l
lbedi
schar
gedl
atert
odaysi
hambe"
Me:
"no,
Iwannagobackhome.Jo'
bur
g"
Hi
m:"
Iunder
standt
hatbutthedoctorsaidyouneed
t
oseesomeonetohel
py ouwit
ht heloss"
Me:
"Iwantt
ogohome,
awuv
andawni
nawena"
?
Hi
m:"
okay
,I
'l
ltakey
ouhomeoncey
ou'
redi
schar
ged"
Me:
"enkosi
"
Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"hm"
Hi
m:"
please,
tal
ktome.Helpmeout,
Iknowy ou
r
emembersomet hi
ng,
tel
lmewhathappened.Pl
s"
Me:"
Idon'
tknowwhathappened,
canwechanget
he
subj
ect
"
Hi
m:"
babypl
s"
Me:"
hehNtando,
Ij
ustl
ostmybabyandall
you
wannatal
kabouti
swhathappened?Ar
eyoufor
r
eal?"
Him:
"babyWEjustlostababyandIdon'
tknow
how,
mygutnev
erliessopls,
tal
ktome.Whodi dthis?
Whowaswithy
oui nthehousewhenthishappened"?
Imumbl
ed.
..
me:
"youdi
dn'
tl
oosenobaby
"
hi
m:"
mmh"
?

Ndat
hul
a..
..
Wazi ncamawat hulahisheadbet weenhi skneesoko
ethecwaka, nam ndithecwaka.YouknowIbl amed
him?Ibl amedhi mf orever
ythi
ng.I fhehasn'tbeen
sosof tandunder st
andingtowar dshershewoul d'v
e
knownherboundar ies,
shewoul d'v
est ayedaway
from hisproperty,
shewould'veknownshe' snot
welcomei nhishouse.Ifhedidn'ttreatherli
kehe
did,
thiswoul dn'
thavehappened.Youknowwhat ?
Themor eIthoughtaboutit,
themor eIgot
angry ,
upset,
furi
ous..
.Iwantedtoscr eam athim,
I
want edhimt ofeelmypai nthesamewayIwas
feel
ingi tbutthi
shadt owait,
Ineededt ogethome
fi
rst.

*
**Lat
eront
hatDay
***

Iwasdischar
ged,
Mar cwantedmetowithhim,I
ref
usedcozIwantedtotakemyclot
heskwaNt ando
andgobacktoJozicozIknowphayaI'
l
lbeal one
cozLukeisbusywit
hhisweddingpr
eparat
ions.
Whenwer
eachedt
hehouse,
Icoul
dst
il
lsmel
lthe
smokebutitwascl eanedexqui
si
tel
yshame...
I
headedupstai
rsmyphoneswer eallchar
gingnear
thebedsi
de.Istar
tedpackingwangenaandsaton
thebed.
..

Me:
"whatt
imei
sthej
etl
eav
ing"
?
Hi
m:"
canweatl
eastt
alk.
..
please"
Me:
"wecandot
hati
nJo'
bur
goront
hej
et"
Hi
m:"
Sibongi
l
e"
Me:
"di
dyouseemysneaker
s"?

Wathula.
..
healsost
art
edpacki
ngaf
ewcl
othes
ndamjonganjeemna.
[
10/
10,
18:
56]‪+27730692704‬:
#206

WhenIwasdoneIwenttotakeashowerandcame
out
,wor
egreyt
racksui
twi
thtrai
ningshoesandacap
Me:
"youhav
en'
ttol
dmei
zof
ikawhatt
imei
j
ety
akho"
Hi
m:"
he'
sher
eal
readybuthe'
sst
il
lcl
eani
ngi
t"
Me:
"sosi
hambawhatt
ime"
Hi
m:"
I'
m wai
ti
ngf
orhi
scal
lsi
zohamba"
Me:
"kay
"

Aftert hatIwentdownst airsandt ookoutcol dwat er

ndasel a...
thekitchenwasn' tasbadasIt houghtit
woul dbe.Comet ot hinkofi t
,Ihadn' teatenany t
hing
butIwasn' thungr yatal lIjustf el
tempt yinside,
I
di
dn' tev enhav ewhatt heycal l
lov e..
.i
tallfl
ushedout
whenmybabydi ed.OhmyGod. .
.her eall
ydiedneh?I
wasn' treallydreami ng,thiswasr eallyhappeni ngand
nowIcannol ongerbeamom!Iam nol onger
pregnant ?Justast heset hought sr ushedt hrough
mybr ain,Ifel
tmykneesgoi ngweak. ..
ndav el
andehl a
ngodongacr yi
ng.I twassopai nful.Iclutchedmy
stomachwi thonehandast heot herhadabot tl
eof
wat er.Icr i
ed.Iallowedmy selftocr y .
..
Hecamedownandazi whenbutIf elthim hugging
me,Iwr i
ggledmy selffr
eef rom him buthehel da
fi
rm andt i
ghtgri
pIgav eupandal l
owedhi mt o
consoleme.Hedi dn'tmov e,IwethisT- shir
twi t
hmy
runnynoseandt ear sofcozbuthedi dn'tmov ehe
keptmest ill
thenwhenIwast oni
ngdownhepi cked
meupwi thbothar msandt henhet ookmet othe
couch,gavemeaboxoft issuesandmywat erthen
wahlalaethecwaka.Myphoner ang...Ilookedatit
andclosedmyey es.Ididn'twannaspeakt oEv ejust
yet.
..

Me:
"pl
easet
alkt
oher
"
Het
ookmyphoneandanswer
ed.
..

Hi
m:"
Hel
l
o"
Her
:"
hey
..
.y
ouokay
"?
Hi
m:"
hangi
ngt
her
e,y
ou"
Her
:"
good.
..
canIspeakt
omysi
ster
"
Hi
m:"
she'
ssl
eepi
ng,
canIt
akeamessage"
Her
:"
erh.
..
I'
l
lcal
lherl
ater
"
Hi
m:"
ayt
"
Her
:"
shar
p"

Theyhungup.
..

Hi
m:"
she'
l
lcal
lagai
n"
Me:
"Idon'
twannat
alkt
opeopl
e"
Hi
m:"she'
snotj
ustpeopl
e,
she'
syoursi
sterand
maybeMarcustol
dher"
Me:
"st
il
l"
Hi
m:"
thenl
et'
sswi
tchy
ourphonesof
f"
Me:"
wheni
sMocal
l
ingy
ou?Ineedt
ogetoutoft
his
pl
ace"
Hi
m:"
lemmecal
lhi
m"

Waphakamaandt ookhi
sphonestocall
mongezi
..
.appar
entl
yhewasstil
lbusybutal
most
f
ini
shed.

Hi
m:"
youwantsomet
hingt
oeat
"

Ishookmyhead

Hi
m:"
Nal
i
quepl
s"
Me:
"I
'm nothungr
y"
Hi
m:"
youhav
en'
teat
enany
thi
ngt
odaybabyman"
Me:
"andaznamhlanj
enobaawusiunder
stand'
I
i
sul
unguoryoujustdon'
twannal
i
sten"
Him:"
I'
mtryingt
ot hi
nkf
ory ouhere,
ayikhoheal
thy
l
entouyenzayoyouhavetoatleasteatevenifi
tsa
snacktoboostyourmetaboli
sm"

Il
ookedatthisguy
..
.uzenzaj
uicyngam l
ona!Mo
cal
ledandsaidhe'
sready.Ij
ustwalkedt
othe
car
,Iv
oropenedmydoorashi sbosscameoutwith
bothourbagsandt hedudedr oveust otheair
por
t.
Wear r
ivedthereandboar dedthej
et.
..Isatonmy
owncouch, hesatonhi sownbutthi
ngi s,
hisown
wasrightinfrontofmi ne:ohehman!Li keI'
veseen
enoughoft hi
sman' sf acefort
oday..
.seri
ousl
y.Il
ay
myheadont heheadr est.

Hi
m:"
baby
"
Me:
"Idon'
tfeel
li
ket
alki
ng"
Hi
m:"
but
..
."
Me:
"Nt
ando"
Hi
m:"
mh"
Me:"
youhaveyourwaysoffi
ndingoutt
hetr
uth
whenyouwantto,
ifIdon'
twannatal
kwhydon'ty
ou
j
ustfi
ndoutwhathappened?Digsomewher
e,l
i
ke
youusual
l
ydo"
Hi
m:"
Idi
dn'
tthi
nkIwi
l
lhav
eto"
Me:
"I
'm gi
vi
ngy
out
hego-
aheadke"
Hi
m:"
babywhyar
eyoul
i
ket
his?Yazi
tfeel
sli
ke
y
ou'
rebl
ami
ngmef
ort
his.
..
"
Me:
"andi
fIdo"
?
Him:
"ndenzeni
?Tel
lmel
i
keI
'
m soi
nthedar
kri
ght
now"
?
Me:
"ai
n'
tgott
imet
opl
aydumbwi
thy
ou"
Hi
m:"
awcr
apr
eal
l
y?Yho"
!

Ndathul
amnaIhadnot hingelsetosay,
Ican'
treall
y
hel
phowIf eel.
..
maybeIneedt i
metohealIdon't
knowbutallIknowIfel
tcrappy,
Ineededti
meonmy
own,
timetomour nf
ormybaby .
..

Hi
m:"
hehSi
bongi
l
e"
Me:
"canwenotdot
his?Idon'
thav
etheener
gy"

Wat
hul
a
Welandedndaphumawit
houtmybags:vhebet
ter
car
rythosebagstot
hecar
.That
'shi
sjob!
Isatattheback,hepackedt hebagsinwat hul
aand
wenttodr i
veust ohi
shouse.Idi dn'
twannaf i
ght
withhim butt
hiswasi nconsiderat
ecozItoldhimI
wantt ogohomenott ooneofhi shousesagain.
..
we
reachedhishouseIjustsatint hecar
,nay
e
akaphuma

Hi
m:"
so.
..
whatnow"
Me:
"cel
aundi
goduse"
Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:"ha,
anaNt
andoIsai
dIwannagohomenott
o
yourapart
mentnopl
sjustt
akemehome"
Him:"
Idon'
tthi
nky
oubei
ngal
onei
sagoodi
dea
babe"
Me:"
don'
twor
ryaboutme,
Iwon'
troll
my sel
fownthe
st
air
sORburnLuke'
shousedown.
..I'
vehadenough
oft
hatdr
amatolastmeyear
s"
Hi
m:"
toy
out
hisi
saj
oke"
Me:
"t
owhom?Me?I
thi
uyadl
ala"
Hi
m:"t
henwhymakefunofsucht
hings?Cany
oube
r
easonabl
ewi
thme.Pls"
Me:"
cany
oujusttakemehome?That
'sal
lIwanna
sayt
oyoutoday
"

Gqibakwam ndav alalouphezulu..

.hedidau-turnan
droveoutofhi sparki
ngl otandtookme
home, xasi
fi
kaItookmybagsngokwam andwal ked
i
nsidehef oll
owedut hethabangendiziyekaezibags
aziphatheIkeptmymout hstil
lndangena
ekhaya,walkedupstair
st oputthebagsgqiba
ndabuy aesahlel
ipha.

Me:
"youcangonow,
thanky
ouf
orev
ery
thi
ng"
Hi
m:"
oh.
..
justl
i
ket
hat
"?
Me:
"j
ustl
i
kehow"
?
Hi
m:"
babykwenzekani
kuwenamhl
anj
e"
Me:
"Iwannabeal
one"
Hi
m:"S'
bongi
-"
Me:
"pl
s"

Waphakamaanwal kedtowardsme,hewantedto
hugmeIsteppedbackwandi j
ongaIlookeddown,
I
fol
dedmyar mscozIknewhe' l
lwannatouchmeso
i
nstead,
hekissedmycheek,t
ookoutacoupleof
noteswazi
bekaonthetableandwalkedout.
[
10/
10,
18:
58]‪+27730692704‬:
#207

Iwoul
dhavelovedtohaveaLi l
amnesi
athat
moment,
thi
sthingwashauntingmesomucht hatI
hadtodr
ugmy selft
osleep.
..

Lukewasn'thomef orthr
eedays,
buthecalledto
checkuponme, Mar cusdi
dthesame...Ev
ewasi na
schoolt
ourintheDRCasmuchasshewant edt
o
Skype,
Ididn'
thavetheenergysoIrat
herspentmy
dayscryi
ngorsleepingandbothmyphoneswer eoff
.
Soont
hef
ort
hdayIdeci
dedt
ost
opmopi
ng
round, akazobuy amosuboyqhai ntoey enzekay o
ndiyabhi tyaslowl y.Iwokeup, swi tchedal lmy
phoneson, checkedsoci al medi a( bumpedont o
somest atusupdat eskaChumat hatshe' sinJozi
paintingt het ownr edsomyt houghtwast hatuseKu
babyandabi samf ounel akengokkwaNt andol owo)
andst artedcleani ngmybr other'shousepl aying
gqom : vwhenIwasdoneIbat hedand
cooked, ndatyandangqengqaer oomi ny am just
thi
nki ngr andoml ytryingmybestt othinkal l
positive,seeal lgoodandIwassucceedi ngsof ar.I
don'tknowwhatIwant edi nmycl osett henI
stumbl edont hatLi lprezziethatSosoboughtf orhis
godsony hohai kendaqhawl aaphobendi phophe
khonaIsatont hef loor ,
Ididn'thav ev oicef orcryi
ng
outl oudbutmyt earswer eout pour i
ngmassi velyya
wor sewhenNt andocal l
eddur i
ngmycr yingsession
i
twasasi fhe'spr essedabut tonf ormor etears

Me:
*si
l
ent
lycr
ying*
Hi
m:"
S'bongi
l
e"
Me:
".
..
.*sni
ff
*bae"
Him:
"sul
i
lakal
okbabyman,
I
'm comi
ngt
ofet
chy
ou
okay
"
Me:
"mh"

Hehungup.
..

Ipackedaweekendbag: v:
vbuthedidn'
tsayI '
l
lbe
sl
eepingover,
hejustsaidhe'
scomingyof etchme.
Withi
n15mi nuteshewasher eIopenedthegatefor
hi
m andcleanedmy selfup,
hewalkedsmel l
i
ngas
goodasexpected

Me:
"hey
"

Iwalkedtohim andthrewmyar msar oundhis

neck..
.hehuggedmet i
ghtlyrubbingmyback.I
wasn'tgonnacry,
I'
mt i
redofcrying.Isteppedback
andattemptedtowalki nf
rontofhim kubasisi
ya
el
oungebuthehel
daf
ir
m gr
ipofmyhandIt
urned
andl
ookedathi
m.

Me:
"i
zangapha"
Hi
m:"
comeher
e"

Itookast epcloserandourey esmeti nastil

lyet
touchinggaze,yeswewer esti
lli
npainbuti twas
slowlydyingoff.Het ouchedmychi n,
Iknewhewas
scaredofmyr eacti
onsoImethi m halfwayand
kissedhisli
ps,webr eathedineachot hersbreaths
slowlyandt heneverythingel
seseemedt obeonan
automat i
cbut t
on,wej ustmelt
ed.

Hest
oppedt
heki
ssi
ngandt
ouchedmycheek

Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
ry"
Me:
"don'
tbe"
Hi
m:"
nobaby
,bel
i
evemeI
'
mreal
l
ysor
ry"
Me:
"f
orwhat
"?
Hi
m: "
forwhathappenedtojuni
or,IknowIsai
dI'l
l
pr
otectyouI'
mv er
ysorryIwasn'tabletopr
otect
hi
m"
Me:
"i
tsokay
"
Hi
m:"
noi
tsnot
"
Me:"
baby,
IknowitsnotGod'
swi l
lbutev
ery
thi
ng
doeshav
ear easonwhyitshappens"
Hi
m:"yho,buty
oudoknowi
tsnotsomet
hingy
oucan
j
ustswitchonandof
f"
Me:
"I
'l
lheal
..
.ast
imegoes"

Wat hul
aandfoll
owedmet othel ounge,Imadehim
j
uicendamphakel andazikhelelai i
cecream andsat
nexttohim asheate...
yazoneot herthi
ngIl ov
e
abouthim?He'll
nev ersaynot omyf oodev enifhe'
s
eatenalr
eady,
heappr eci
at estheef f
ortIputin.Aft
er
eati
ngandsomel i
ghtconv oweheadedt ohis
house,whenwer eachedt hegat etheignit
ionwent
off
Hi
m:"
ther
e'ssomet
hingIwannat
ell
you"

Uval
olwam l
wabet
hekaphezul
wana.
..Chumacame
tomymind!

Me:
"oh"
Him:"
Iuhm..
.Okayy
ouknowwhat
?Let
'sj
ustgoi
n
uzi
bonelel
eway"
Me:
"haykhawt
het
he"

Hesmi ledandstart
edthecar..
.aswedrov
ei n,
ther
e
wasacarcov er
edinredclot
h,weparkedr
ight
behi
ndi tndohli
kaIwalkedtothedooroft
hehouse
heranaf t
ermewandi bambaandwal kedmet othe
carthatwascov er
ed

Me:
"er
h..
.what
'
sthi
s"?
Hi
m:"
wai
tri
ghther
e"

Heuncov er
edit:
D:DIlaughed.
..
ohmyGod!Ir
anto
him andhuggedhi
m sot i
ghtki
ssi
nghi
minever
y
reachabl
eplaceonhi
sf ace

Hi
m:"
ohkay
..
.babest
op"
Me:
"baby
!AJaguar
!Yho,
yazIev
enf
orgotabouti
t"
Hi
m:"
Idi
dn'
t.
..
wannat
akei
tforaspi
n"?
Me:
"er
h..
.l
emmechanget
his"
Hi
m:"
hai
bounxi
bekak'
hl
enj
e"
Me:"t
chi
i
ii
ii
i
ni!Ican'
tdr
ivemynewcarnxi
bekanj
e
babe,
vul
asingene"

Heshookhi sheadandopenedt hehouseIwalkedi

n
andtookoutbeigeskinnypants,
whit
evestandwhit
e
Adidassneakersndaf
akaIcapndapholaaphaKu
mind..
..
Iwasnowr eadytotestdri
vemycar.
Iwentt
ohi
m downst
air
sandt
ookabot
tl
eofwat
er

Me:
"ar
eyoucomi
ngal
ong"
Hi
m:"
doy
ouwantmet
o"?
Me:"
heeeyazIdon'
tknow.
..
butmasambej
usti
n
casei
ndi
xakeleway"
Hi
m:"
ooohsonowI
'
myourmechani
c"
Me:
"haubhey
ibhi
"

Iki
ssedhischeekandl ef
thimtolockthehouse
savaya!WedrovearoundSoweto,Lolthiscarwas
giv
ingmegoosebumbsal lt
hewayandt he
exci
tementwashigh..
.Idrovei
ntothehighwayI
wantedtoseeit
shighestspeedand
daaaaaii
i
immmmm!

Me:
"t
hisshi
tisar
eal
Jaguar
"
Hi
m:"
uhm.
..
youcansl
owdownnow"
Me:
"khawme.
..
justmakesur
eyourseatbel
tison"
Him:
"babethi
sisahi
ghway
,youcoul
dknock
someone"
Me:
"wat
ch"

Iaccel
erat
edtothel astspeednumberont he
speedometerLolyav el
ayapholal echapwahleka..
.I
drovei
ntothemal lparki
nglotandspot tedChuma
l
eavingwit
haman: DIdrovestraighttoherdri
ving
on180:vshescr eamedbutcoul dn'tmov emay beit
s
cozofshockndami sar i
ghtinf
rontofher ,okou
Ntandoebukeleakathethit
u.Irolleddownt he
windowandsmi l
edather ..
..
herf ace?:v#pri
cel
ess

Her
:"
You"
!
Me:
"sur
pri
se!Awsemhl
eman"
Her:
"f
uckyou!WenaNtandowat
hul
a?Kodwal
e
bi
tchyakhoi
funaundi
bulal
a"
Me:
"i
twasni
ceseei
ngy
ou.Ci
ao"

Idroveri
ghtoutoft
heparki
nglotndabuyelakwa
Ntando.Saphumaandwalkedi
nsidendaziphosaon
thecouch..
.Hol
yJesus!Hecamet ositnextt
ome

Me:
"t
hanky
ou"
Hi
m:"
andIal
sof
oundy
ourhouse"
Me:
"phi
"
Hi
m:"
wellIl
ookedar
ound,
butIf
oundonesui
tabl
e
f
oraqueeninPE"
Me:
"oh.
..
Siy
ani
nike"
Hi
m:"whenev
eryouhav
eachance.
..
butf
ornow
f
ocusonschool
neh"
Me:
"eshe"
Hi
m:"
babe,
Ican'
thav
eani
l
li
ter
atewi
fe"
Me:
"heee!
"
Hi
m:"
so.
..
arey
ouokayt
otal
know"
Me:
"sup"
Hi
m:"Idon'
tmeantobeinsensi
tiv
eorany
thi
ngbutI
st
il
lneedanswer
sbabe.From you"
Me:
"yhobabesi
sekul
ont
onah"
Hi
m:"
please"
Me:"okay
..
.I
'
m notpr
omisi
nganyt
hingbutshoot.I
'
ll
stopansweri
ngwhenI'
m uncomf
ortabl
ewithyour
questi
ons"
Hi
m:"
whathappenedaf
terIl
eftt
hehouse"
Me:
"andi
khosur
ebutnday
endal
ala"
Hi
m:"
andt
henwhathappened"
Me:"
Ihear
dv oi
ces,
IthoughtIwasdr
eami
ngbutI
hear
dthem agai
nandsmel tsmoke"
Hi
m:"
soy
ouwokeupandwentt
ocheck"
Me:
"yes"
Hi
m:"
thenwhathappened"

Sonowkuf
ikel
epar
tyobaImustsayChumawas
her
e..
.Ha.
aI'
m sor
ry.

Me:
"Idon'
trememberkengokbabe"
Hi
m:"
babewam"
Me:
"l
ove"
Him:
"Iknowyouknowsomethi
ngbutIwon'
tpush
anyf
urt
hercozi
tscleary
oudon'
twantmetoknow"
Me:
"canIki
ssy
ou?Justf
orwhaty
ouj
ustsai
d"
Hi
m:"
hehe"

Ikissedhi m...Ir
eall
ywant edtofi
ghtmyownbat tl
e.
Yesngumnt anakhenay ebutifhekil
lsChuma
uzothini KuOwent andowhenheasksabouthi s
mom?Iknowhowi tfeelstogrowupwi t
hone
parent,Iwoul dn'
twishituponany one'
schil
devenif
akazodi ngant ol
ikemecozIknowwi l
lal
waysbe
thereforhi ssonbutIdi dn'twantChumadead,Ij
ust
want edhert osuf f
er.
..
andbel i
evemey ou,
shewil
l.
Me:
"whatar
eweeat
ing"
Hi
m:"
youcancookf
ory
ourhusband"
Me:
"ononecondi
ti
on"
Hi
m:"
whi
chi
s"
Me:
"t
haty
ou'
renotgoi
ngany
wher
e"
Hi
m:"notevenf
orfi
ft
eenminut
es?Ipr
omi
sed
Vi
ncentI'
l
lpopinnamhl
anj
e"
Me:"
wel
lyoushoul
dhav
egonet
her
ebef
orey
ou
f
etchme"
Hi
m:"y
ouwer
ecryi
ngnj
e,
Iki
ndapani
ckedsoI
r
ushedov
ert
oyou"
Me:
"hai
kebabe"
Hi
m:"
soy
asobabi
ni"
Me:
"I
'm notr
eal
l
yreadyt
ofacepeopl
eyet
"
Hi
m:"
Vincei
sfami
l
y"
Me:
"babe"
Hi
m:"
okay
,I
'l
lj
ustcal
landcancel
"
Me:
"enkosi
"
Hesmi
l
ed
Iwenttothekitchenndaphekelaumntuwam ndino
heartomhlophe..
.Ihaveacar!Goddam uhaveacar.
Icookedinhighspirit
s,ndi
manendiyohl
alanay
e
soncokol
e.

Me:
"baby
"
Hi
m:"
mh"
Me:
"Iwannaapol
ogi
zet
oyou"
Hi
m:"
haywenzeni
"
Me:"
Ipushedyouaway..
.Ihurty
ouwheny ouwere
al
sohurtyi
lent
okaJuniorbutIhadmyown
mental
i
tyregar
dingev
ery t
hingthathappened"
Hi
m:"
Iunder
stand"
Me:"
Iknowy oudo,
butIshouldn'
tabuseyourl
ove
j
ustbecauseIknowuzondixolel
akalokbabe"
Him:"wewerebot
hhurt
,Ihavetobet
hebi
gger
personkal
okbabeneageitsho"
Me:"
yaz.
..
ever
ydayIgi
vet
hankst
oGodf
orgi
vi
ngme
you"
Hi
m:"
ha!Ndazendakuv
a.Babei
i
mbi
zazi
yat
sha"
!!
!

Lol
moodKi
l
lakaneneubaby:
v:v
[
10/
10,
18:
59]‪+27730692704‬:
#208

Idi
shedupandwei ndulgedmaki
ngsmal
l
conver
sati
onwhil
eeatingwhenweweredonehe
washedthedi
shes,camebackandwewatched
cart
oons.

Me:
"Nt
ando"
Hi
m:"
S'bongi
l
e"
Me:
"Ineedy
ourhonestopi
nionneh"
Hi
m:"
wit
hwhat
"
Me:
"Iwannast
artsomet
hingnew.
.asmal
lbusi
ness"
Hi
m:"
nowwe'
ret
alki
ng.Whatki
ndabusi
ness"
Me:"Idon'
tknow.
..
I'
m st
il
lthi
nki
ngkal
okbutIwant
ed
yourtakeonthei
dea"
Hi
m:"
I'
m al
waysaboutbusi
ness..
.butwi
thy
ou
st
udy
ingLLBi
tsgoingtobetough"
Me:
"I
'l
lst
artsmal
lkal
okbabe"
Him:"
okayy
azyi
nton?Let
'
swaituf
umaneledegr
ee
yakhoneht
henwhenyou'
vegr
aduatedwe'
l
lsee
whatwecando"
Me:
"buty
oudosuppor
tthei
dea"
?
Hi
m:'
'
100%"
Me:
'
'shot
"

Shi
ft
ingfocusmadei teasi
ernottothi
nkaboutmy
baby
...
Ineededsomet hi
ngtofocusonothert
hanmy
l
osslif
ehast ogoon.Ihaveyomov eri
ghtal
ong..
.
Myphoner ang:DSoso

Me:
"bhey
ibhi
wam"
Hi
m:"
hey
..
.ugr
and"
Hesoundeddown.
..
kindaupsetorangr
y.

Me:
"I
'm sur
viv
ing.You"
?
Hi
m:"
okay
..
.y
ou'
rei
nJo'
bur
gri
ght
"?
Me:
"yes"
Hi
m:"
kokwenu"
?
Me:"
noI'
m wi
thbae.
..
what
'
sup?Youdon'
tsoundt
oo
good"
Hi
m:"
erh.
..
bendi
sizakuwekey
az"
Me:
"oh.
..
youdr
ivi
ng"
?
Hi
m:"
no,
butI
'
m wi
tht
het
wins"
Me:"okayI
'
llaskbaet
ocomef
etchy
'al
l
..ni
ndawni
ngoku"
Hi
m:"
Sil
aphaKuVi
nce"
Me:
"nopr
o'm"
Hi
m:"
ayt
"
Hehungup.
..
Iwasl
eftst
ari
ngatmyphone.

Me:
"oh-
kay
"
Hi
m:"
ntoni
ngxaki
"
Me:
"doesVi
nceknowaboutj
uni
or"
Hi
m:"
Itol
dhi
m"
Me:
"t
hatexpl
ainswhyuSosoenj
e"
Hi
m:"
bungekamxel
eli
"?
Me:
"ndcel
auy
obathat
hatanabaphaKuVi
nce,
I
'l
lj
ust
makeacoupl
eofsnacks"
Hi
m:"
oh-
kay
..
.Nguy
enaban"
?
Me:
"yourt
winbr
other
s"
Hi
m:"
oh.
.sur
e"

Igotupandwenttot
heki
tchenndazamaukwenza
ezisnacks,
hecamei
nandhuggedmef r
om behi
nd
ki
ssingmyear
Hi
m:"
don'
tbener
vous,
they
'l
lbef
ine"
Me:"
Sosowil
lbeupsett
hathehear
ditf
rom
someoneel
se"
Hi
m:"
uzomxel
elawhyy
oucoul
dn'
ttel
lhi
myour
sel
f"

Ikeptquiet
..
.Ndamazi uSosoiseverdr
amati
cbut
hisvoiceothephonewasnowher eneardr
amatic,
he
didreall
ysoundhurt
,upset
.Baetur
nedmet oface
him,Ikeptmyeyesgluedonhischestheki
ssedmy
forehead

Hi
m:'
'
Ilov
ey ou.
..
that
'sonet
hingy
ouhav
eto
r
emember.Always"
Me:
"Iknow"
Him:
"andyou'
rev
erystr
ong,
wewil
lpassthr
oughthi
s
andwhenwedowe' l
lmakemor
ejunior
sbangxol
e
i
sdal
ahere"
Me:
"t
hanksbabe"
Hi
m:"
mom senthercondol
ences.
..
andsai
dyouhav
e
t
obecleansed"
Me:
"cl
eansed"
?
Hi
m:"
yes.
..
butwe'
l
ltal
kmor
eoft
hatwhenwehav
e
t
ime"

Ikissedhi
m,her
espondedhear
twar
mingl
ythenwe
stopped

Me:
"dr
ivesaf
e"
Hi
m:"
lemmet
akey
our
s..
.nj
e"
Me:
"asoze!Nev
er"
!

Hel
aughedandl
eft
.
Icont
inuedwit
hwhatIwasdoing.
..WhenIwasdone
Iwenttositel
ounge,
myphonerang

:
v
Me:
"mamakaOwent
ando"
Her
:"
sund'
qhel
aikakawenasekt
heni
ngokundangu
mamakaOwent andokuwe"
Me:"
oohsorr
ynono.
..Ishoul
dhav
esai
d-baby
mama
kababyneh"

Iputmyfeetupandchi
l
led:
vIwant
edt
oenj
oyt
his
conver
sat
ion.

Her
:"
whatgamear
eyoupl
ayi
ng?Huh?
"
Me:
"ai
n'
tgotnot
imet
opl
aygameshoney
"
Her:
"t
henwhatar
eyoudoi
ng?Youknowy
oual
most
ki
ll
edme?"
Me:
"usakhal
elaual
most
?Lov
ie,
uyat
efaman"
Her
:"Ul
i
gqwi
rhawena"
Me:
"ndinguwengendi
yosi
laekhay
andi
bul
ele
amadl
ozikubandi
ji
keekif
eni
"
Her
:"uy
i moer
enyomnt
anayaz,
Ntandodoesn'
tknow
he'
sinlovewi
tht
hedevi
l"
Me:"heknowshowt
opi
ckem sweet
ydon'
twor
ry
kakhulungay
e"
Her:
"andsakucaphukeliyouhavenoidea.
..
you
shouldpraysi
ngazesi bekwi
ndawoeny esobabi
ni
ndawzendikuboniseintabakandodamntanam"
Me:"
youhady
ourchanceandy oubl
ewi
t.
..
nowal
l
youhavet
odoist
obeal er
t."
Her
:"
aler
tforwho?Youdon'
tscar
emesi
si"
Me:"
Ili
ket
hat,cozattheendofthedayThethi
ngsI
'l
l
dotoyou,
notev enyourbel
ovedNtandowi
ll
beli
eve
youxausi
thizenziwendim"
Her:
"mxm,you'
real
ltal
knoacti
on.Iknowpeoplel
ike
you,
nextt
hingyou'
l
lsendNtandotodoyourdir
ty
workfory
ou"
Me:"nott
hatyouneedtoknow,butt
heonlyti
me
Ntandodoesmydi r
tyworkiswhenhe'
seatingme
out.Whetheront
hecouch,bathr
oom,ki
tchen,
bedroom orhi
scaruyaqonda?sophol
ananaIwil
l
handl
eyou,
mysel
f"
Her
:"
sies!Amany
ala"
Me:
"zi
tshozonkei
zi
shumane"
Her
:"
mxm f
ucky
ou"
Me:
"Ngumsebenzi
kaNt
andol
owobaby
"

Shemumbl edandhungup: vIhear dtheguys

comingbangena,
Nt andowast al
kingwithhis
brot
hersSosowasqui etIhuggedt hetwinsf
irstt
hen
SosoohandkwangenanoVi ncelastly.
..
Ionl
y
huggedhim cozi
bizobafaniifIhugothersndimyeke
yena.

TheysatdownthenIwentt
otheki
tchenf
or
dri
nks.
..
babef
ollowed

Hi
m:"
youokay
"
Inod

Hi
m:"
Nal
i
que"
Me:
"t
aBeast
"
Hi
m:"
rel
ax,
okay
?Rel
ax"

Icl
osedmyey
es.
..
stoppi
ngmy
sel
ffr
om cr
ying.

Me:"
itsl
iket
hey..
.Babe,Idon'
twantt
hem t
opi
tyme.
Thelooksonthei
rfaces"
Hi
m:"
they'
repr
obabl
yst
il
li
nshock,
giv
ethem t
ime.
Gi
veyour
selft
ime"
Me:"wor
seVincel
ookedatmystomach..
.ha.
Anake
seewhatImeantwhenIsai
dI'
m notreadytobe
aroundpeopl
e"

Het
ookt hegl
assesoutofmyhandsandhugged
me.
..
thankGodIdidn'
tcr
y,Ij
ustki
ssedhi
sneck.
Me:
"t
hanky
ou"
Hi
m:"
lemmehel
pyou"
Me:
"youcant
aket
hesnackskwezat
ray
s"
Hi
m:"
okay
,af
tery
oumadam"

Wewal kedbacktot helounge,

sadekait
aful
a
kwatyi
wa...
sancokolanjeethenIcl
earedthe
tabl
e,
Sosoof f
eredtohel p:oIknewhewantedto
tal
ktomeal one,r
ather,
aside.Weclear
edthetabl
e
sayovasaizi
tyasobabini

Hi
m:"
wer
eyouev
ergonnat
ell
me"
Me:
"Soso"
Hi
m:"
whydi
dn'
tyout
ell
me?Li
ke,
I
'm cur
ious"
Ibr
eat
hedout

Me:
"Ihav
en'
ttol
dev
enmysi
ster
s.I
fthey
know,
Mar
cust
oldt
hem"
Hi
m:"
okay
,thenwhathappened"
Me:
"ev
ery
thi
ngi
sal
lvague"

Wakhewat
hul
awosul
aizi
tya

Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Hi
m:"
noI
'
m bei
ngsel
fi
shr
ightnow.I
'
m sor
ryman"
Me:
"Iunder
stand"
Him:"Iwassurpri
sedbyyourv
oicewhenI
cal
led,t
houghtyou'dbei
ntheworstofal
lst
ates"
Me:"
Iwas.
..
buzaKuNtandoandworstofital
lI
bl
amedhim,t
houghIdi
dn'tv
erbal
l
ysayit"
Hi
m:"
buty
ouract
ionsdi
d"?
Me:
"youhav
enoi
dea"
Him:
''
youguy
sar
est
rong,
Iseenowt
haty
ounev
er
bel
ongedwit
hmybr
other
"
Me:
"Nt
andoi
sthest
rongone,
I
'mf
ragi
l
eandweak
buthe'
sal
waysast
epaheadgi
vi
ngmest
rengt
hand
encour
agi
ngmetobebet
ter
"
Hi
m:"
hug"
?

Ismi
l
edandwehugged
Si
hlewal
kedi
n..
.

Hi
m:"
inobai
zi
tyanpzi
gqi
bani
ni"
?
Soso:
"uv
alel
oml
omokwedi
ni"

Wesepar at
edt
hehugsancedisanasonket
hen
ret
urnedbackt
othelounge,
Isatnobabe,
myhead
support
edonhisshoul
der.

Hi
m:"
soy
eah,
i
njal
oint
omaj
i
ta"
Me:
"whatdi
dwemi
ss"
Hi
m:"
ha.
ababe"
Me:
"sunqanda,
ni
thet
hangant
onVi
nce"
?
Hi
m:"
khonanjeenyeiwaybesi
ncokol
angay
o
man.
..
busi
nessstuf
f"
Me:
"eshe!Mxm"

Henudgedmyr
ibsIsqueakedkanci
nci
ndanent
loni
:v

Me:
"sor
rybr
a..
.ndcel
aubaexcusednj
ekanci
nci
"
Hi
m:"
uyaphi
"
Me:
"Iwannat
akeSosof
oraLi
lri
de"
Hi
m:"
ooh"
Soso:
"r
ide?Youhav
eacar
"?
Me:
"you'
rest
il
laski
ng"
?

Watsiba:v:
vItookmykey s,
ki
ssedbaeandlef
twith
Soso..
.t
hesebrother
snowhav eachancetodi
scuss
ezi
dlaumzi.Hahahahisfacewhenhesawmynew
baby,
wegotin,buckl
edanddroveout.Nt
andocal
led
o.OIanswer
edusingthebui
lt
-i
nBl
uet
oot
h
connect
ingaphonetothecar

Me:
"babe"
Hi
m:"
nospeedi
ng,
youknowt
hatcari
sar
eal
Jaguar
"
Me:
"nowor
ri
esl
ove"
Hi
m:"
buckl
edneh"
?
Soso:"
ewebhut
i.
..
umonangowant
oni
?Khasi
yekepl
s
sibond'
e"

Ijustlaughed...andimazangaubabeuy obekenini
i
phone.Wedr ov ear oundt oelacalali
hl al
alachomi
kaChuma. ..
Iwant edt oseeher .Forthef ir
strunwe
didn't
,Iwentar oundanddr ovethesecondst reetin
thatar ea,
goodt hingismypl anwasn' tthatobvious
soSosowasi nt hedar k.Anditwaski ndalat
ish.
Xasendi ncamaIsawheratashor tdistanceeating
chickenf eet(amanqi na/amahut wana)Iswi tched
offtheheadl i
ght sandaccel eratedfrom behind
her,uhambay edwaadshewascl oset oat ur
n/curve
Iknockedherof
fli
ght
ly!Anddr
oveaway
..
.Sosowas
shocked!Lawei
!

Wedr
oveoutoft
hear
eaandpar
ked.

Him:"
dude!Thatpersoncoul
dbedead!Whydi
dyou
swit
chofftheli
ghts?OhholyMar
yiza"

It
ookti
meandwaitedf
orhi
mtocal
m downt
hen
whenhewasqui
et.
..

Me:
"t
hati
sChuma"
Hi
m:"
youknowher
?Buty
ouj
ustl
efthert
her
e"
Me:
"babymamakaNt
ando"
Hi
m:"
what
"?
Me:
"she'
sther
easonj
uni
ori
snomor
e"
Hi
m:"
ohf
uck!Ar
eyouser
ious?Li
ker
eal
l
y"
Me:
"andIpr
omi
sey
ou,
she'
snotdead"
Wakhewat
hul
a

Hi
m:"
masomgqi
bezel
a"
Me:
"no"
Hi
m:"
no?Uy
adl
ala"
Me:
"I
'm ser
ious.No.Shecan'
tdi
esoeasi
l
y"
Hi
m:"
hayumuncu.Doesheknow"
?
Me:
"hedoesn'
t,
andy
ouwon'
ttel
lhi
m"
Hi
m:"
whyt
hough"
Me:"
Iwannator
tur
ehermysel
f..
.hehasasof
tspot
f
orher,
andngumamawefirst
bornyakhesoIdon'
t
wannainv
olv
ehimtoomuch"
Hi
m:"
ooohkay
..
.sonowt
hisi
sourLi
lsecr
et"
Me:
"somet
hingl
i
ket
hat
"
Him:"t
henI
'm al
li
n..
.I
'
llhelpyoufuckherl
i
feup!
!!But
Ineedmoreinfoonher,j
ustgetmeherful
lnameand
surnameI'
l
ldotherest"
Me:
"haha!Usi
sikhokhokewena"
Him:
'butnow,
l
et'
sseei
fyourcarcar
ri
esnoev
idence
na"

:
vwegotoutandi
nspect
edthecar.
..
itwasst
il
l
br
andnew:Dnobump,nonot
hing.
[
10/
10,
19:
00]‪+27730692704‬:
#209

Wet ookadr i
vetothegarage,j
ustt ohaveacl ear
l
ightandbesur ethatther
e'snopr oofthatwe
knockedsomeoneof f
.Webot hgotof fandIwal ked
tothecanteen,
hewashedt hewindscreen:vusing
thegaragebucketsandwi persehlekaphof ,
Ibought
usdrinksandcookiesndaphumaxaegqi bezela

Hi
m:"
ever
ythi
ngl
ooksgood"
Me:
"yep.
..
wecangosweet
y"

Wegoti
n,
drov
ebackhomeandpar
kedout
side
Me:
"noonecanknowaboutt
his"
Hi
m:"
Iknow,
andI'm notbacki
ngoutunt
ilIseeher
cr
awl
ingonherknees"
Me:"t
hankyouman,
butIdon'
twannai
nvol
vey
ou
sogqibaul
i
male"
Hi
m:"
I'
m al
readyi
nvol
vedf
ondi
n"
Me:
"keepi
ttoy
our
sel
fkebr
a,pl
s"
Hi
m:"
don'
tst
resskal
okbabe,
Igoty
ourback"
Me:
"t
hanky
ousan"

Wegotout ,
lockedthecarandhugged..
.y
houSoso
yi
njayam nyhanishame,t
hroughthi
ckandt hi
n.We
walkedi
nsidesesincokol
aezinyekengokingat
h
khangekwenzekent otu.
Babewasn'
tther
ebuthi
sbr
other
swer
e

Me:
"uphi
utaBeast
"
Kay
:"he'
sout
,butuzobuy
asoon"
Me:
"howl
onghashebeengone"
?
Kay:
"usandophumaman,
i
tsnotev
enupt
ofi
ve
minutes"
Me:
"uy
ephi
"?
Kay
:"hedi
dn'
tsay
"

Iwentt otheki
tchenandcal
l
edhim..
.Ihadav ery
strongfeeli
nghewentonChuma'srescueandi f
she'satahospitalt
heni
nthenext15mi nutesthe
visit
inghoursf
orthedaywil
lbecl
osed.Hi sphone
rangt wi
ce..
.

Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"babeuphi
"
Him:
"I
'm ont
hewayt
othehospi
tal
,I
'l
lbebackj
ust
now"
Me:
"hospi
tal
?Why
"
Him:
"Idon'
tknowany
thi
ngy
et.
..
butkut
hwei
tsabout
Chuma"
Me:
"Chuma?Ar
eyouf
orr
eal
?"
Him:
"appar
ent
lyshewasi
nvol
vedi
nanacci dentand
shesai
dtheymustcal
lmeakanar
elat
ivesapha"
Me:"
ohwenauy i
yo?
..
.wor
seI
'
m st
uckher
ear
ound
Sowetokesana"
Hi
m:"
yho.
..
erh.
..
lemmecal
lVi
nceazokunceda"
Me:"
hayyekaI
'
llf
indmyownhel
p..
.got
oyour
Chuma"
Hi
m:"
babedon'
tdot
hat
"
Me:"kalokshe'
smoreimport
antsohambai yakuye
I'
l
lfindhelponmyown,inthi
sdarknessGodwi l
l
surelybri
ngmesomel i
ghthopeful
lyIwon'
tbe
muggedbyt het
hugsofthi
sungodlyarea"
Hi
m:"
uphi
uSosobabe"
Me:
"nanku,
whatdoesheknowngeJaguar
?"
Hi
m:"
okay
,I
'l
lthi
nkofsomet
hing.
..
justgi
mmeaf
ew
mi
nut
es"
Me:
"mmh"

ThenIhungupndabuy el
aeloungesancokol
anee
brazandNtandodidn'
tevencalloneoft
hem.Aft
er
about20minuteshecall
edme.

Me:
"t
aBeast
"
Hi
m:"
I'
m her
einSowet
oundawni
kengokwena"
Me:
"I
'm homekal
ok"
Hi
m:"
heeehai
bobabe,
nj
ani
"

Igotupandwentbackt
otheki
tchen,
Isatont
he
ki
tchencount
er

Me:"
Itol
dyouI'
l
lfi
ndmyownhel
p,Idi
d.How'
syour
babymama"?
Hi
m:"
ndi
j
ikeendl
eleni
kal
okbendi
cingawena"
Me:
"youshoul
dn'
thav
e"
Hi
m:"
aytI
'
llseey
ouj
ustnow"
Me:
"awsay
angakengokkumnt
uwakho"
?
Hi
m:"
mnt
uwam uqal
ani
ninauChuma"
?
Me:
"andazi
kal
okbabe"
Hi
m:"
mxm,
seey
ou"
Me:
"ay
t"

Wehungup
:
)ewekal ok.Yes.Chumacannotgetev er
ythi
ngshe
wants,notnow.ThisisMYtimeandi thastosinkin
herstupidfuckedupmindthatNtandoisMY
man,notour s.Ist
art
edpr
epari
ngfordinner,
playi
ng
musiconmyphone.Sosowal kedin

Hi
m:"
ola"
Me:
"nt
wana,
besi
stuckeSowet
oneh"
Hi
m:"
..
.er
h..
.oh-
kay
"
Me:
"af
ewmi
nut
esbef
orewecameher
e..
.i
mot
o
i
vel
eyaci
ma.Uy
bambeapho"
Hi
m:"
heknows"
?
Me:
"ndi
mji
keesi
yakuy
e"
Hi
m:"
yhuway
ity
ayonkesanaubhut
iza"
Me:
"khawdef
rost
elany
amat
ana"
Him:
"bathi
ndi
ndwebi
l
ekeOoKuhl
ewhenI
'
m hel
ping
youout"
Me:
"bay
ekebemat
hil
ewet
hu"

Wat shongal ant

sinii
ncithay
o:o:'(:
vwecooked
together
,singingandjammi ngonsomegood
Rastafar
ianmusi c,IheardNtandoontheothersi
de
butIdidn'tmov e,
hecamet othekit
chenfi
kasi
krumpernoacuswahl ekaashecamet okissmylips
butendedupki ssingmynoset ipsahl
ekasonke
emv akoko

Hi
m:"
Soso,ubabey
int
onl
eumenzay
ona,
avel
eAbe
hy
pexaukhowena"
Soso:
"Igi
vehersomel
ove,
uyay
thandai
att
ent
ion
kal
okusistaz
"
Hi
m:"
heyunal
omj
i
ta.Babe"
?
Me:
"nana"
Hi
m:"
beni
stuckphi
naeSowet
o"
Me:"
Idon'
tknowthest
reetbut
,mot
oyam v
ele
yaci
maoutofthebl
ue"
Hi
m:"
yho.
..
nezanj
ani
"
Me:
"wewai
tedt
hent
ri
edagai
nandi
twor
ked"

Hi
m:"
ooh,
I
'l
lhav
eitcheckedngomsoneh"
Me:
"Idon'
tthi
nkt
hat
'
llbenecessar
y,ndi
say
funda
mosleway"
Hi
m:"
alr
ightke.
..
Ineedashower
"
Me:
"di
nnerwi
l
lber
eadyi
n10"
Hi
m:"
sho"

Hewentupst
air
s..
sav
elasaphel
ayi
ntsi
ninoSoso:
v
andazngumnt
uoway
evel
aphi
loh.

Hehelpedmedi shup,
weservedev er
yoneandwent
t
ositaroundthetabl
e..
.kwat
yiwa,
thetwinswashed
t
heplatesthenbagodukandashiy
ekanobabywam.

Hi
m:"
doy
oumi
ndbei
ngal
onef
oraf
ewmi
nut
es"
Me:
"don'
ttel
lmeusaf
unaukuy
aKuChuma"
Hi
m:"t
hingi
sbabe,
somethi
ngi
sreal
l
ynotset
tl
ing
wel
lwit
hmengalentoy
akhe"
Me:"f
ondinshe'
snotyourr
esponsibi
l
itynot
hing
aboutherhastoset
tl
ewellwit
hy ou"

Wat
hul
a..
.Iwai
tedf
orhi
mtor
espond.

Hi
m:"
okay
"
Me:
"f
inal
l
ythebul
bgoeson"
Hi
m:"
ungakul
i
nge"
Me:
"come.
..
.Ineedy
out
oscr
ubmyback"

Hest oodupr el
uctantl
ybuthehadnochoi ce: vIwas
pull
i
nghi m up,wewentupst ai
rsaftermaki
ngsur eall
doorswer elockedthenIundressedandwentt o
shower ,
heundressedandf oll
owedi n,
Igav
ehi mt he
spongeandhewashedmyback, ki
ssingmyneckand
everyotherreachablespot.Heturnedmear ound
andpi nnedmet othewal l
.
..

Iwasn' treallyreadytohav eanysexual inter

course
asy etthoughmyv ei
nsandev er
yot herat om ofmy
bloodpant edf orthepleasures,mymi ndandsoul
wer en'
tr eady .Iknewthatpar tneeded
help,counsel l
ing..
.Indi
cat i
ontot hat,Icouldn'tmov e
myl eguporwr apem ar oundhiswai stli
keIwoul d
normal lydoandhenot icedthatbutdi dn'tabruptl
y
stop,hej ustcont i
nuedwi t
htheki ssest henIl ef
thim
theretof i
nishup.JustasIwaswear i
ngmyPJ
shor t
s,hisphoner ang.
..
Me:
"Chumasi
yav
asacany
oucal
lussomeot
her
t
imenana"
Her
:"
uphi
uNt ando,
cozIwasn'
tcal
l
ingyoundi
nay
o
i
numberyakhowhenIwannatal
ktoyou"
Me:
"hai
keawzomv
auNt
andoungagqi
thangakum"

Wat
hul
a..
.

Me:
"andIdon'thaveall
nightt
oli
stent
oyou,
so
t
het
hauzamt hiniubaby"
Her
:"
Ineedt
ospeakt
ohi
m,i
tsur
gent
"
Me:
"i
sitaboutOwe"
?

Babywasnowoutoft heshower
,l
oti
oni
nghi
msel
f,I
thi
nkjudgi
ngbythelookonhisf
acehewas
surpr
isedbandi
thet
haonhisphone.

Her
:"
no,
Owent
andoi
sfi
ne"
Me:"
thenthere'
snor
easonf
orhi
mtocomet
o
you,
goodnig-
"
Her
:"
Tri
napl
s,
Ineedhi
shel
p"
Me:"ndibudikwakemnakut het
haint
oenyeisdal
a,I
j
usttoldy outhathecan'
t,
nohecan.Hejust
won't,
thisentir
eweekismyt i
me..
.sopl
easeput
anyt
hingt hatwill
makeyouwannaseehi m asi
de.
Yonkel oonkunkumayif
akeKumgqomokadot hias
we'r
espeaki ng".
Her
:"
yho,
ubhoki
l
e"

Ihungupndabekal
ophonephakudendangena
ezi
ngumbi,
ndazamaul
ala.
..
whati
fhesneaksout
ayobonal
oChuma.
[
10/
10,
19:
00]‪+27730692704‬:
#210

Hegoti nbedandopenedupmyf acewhichwas

cov
er edbythebl
ankets,
Il
ookedathim notev
en
smil
ing
Heki
ssedmewandi
j
onga,
hedi
ditagai
nandst
il
lI
waswi
thoutr
eact
ion.

Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"j
ustsayi
tNt
ando"
Hi
m:"
saywhatnow"
Me:
"what
everi
tist
haty
ouwannasay
"
Hi
m:"
oh,
ndi
yakut
handa"
Me:
"ndi
yay
az.
..
justt
hatandazbakangakanani
"
Him: "
kakhul
ubabe,
Itol
dyoubef
oreIcan'tl
oose
you,can'
taff
ordt
oespecial
l
ynotbecauseofsome
stupidex"
Me:
"youmeanbabymommanhe"
Hi
m:"
howev
ery
ouwannaputi
t"
Me:"I
'mreall
yti
redokay...
I'
mf orr
eal
tir
edandI'
m
onlysayi
ngthisforthelastt
ime.Makeupyour
mind,behonestwithyoursel
fandbewithwhosoev
er
yourheartwants"
Hi
m:"
baby
,Il
ovey
ou.Iwanty
ou,
Ineedy
oui
nmyl
i
fe.
Youmakemeabett
erman.
..
andI
'
m notj
ustsay
ing
that
,i
tst
het
rut
h"
Me:
"wor
ds"
Hi
m:"
act
ions"
Me:
"hav
en'
tseeany
"
Hi
m:"
canIj
ustsayonet
hingr
egar
dingt
oni
ght
"
Me:
"shoot
"
Hi
m:"
Iwasonl ygoi
ngther
ecozadoct
orcal
l
ed
me,
notbecauseIwantanyt
hingt
odowit
hChuma"
Me:
"what
every
ousay
"
Hi
m:"
babel
ookatme"

Il
ookedathi
m..
.

Hi
m:"
rememberwepr
omi
sedeachot
her
"
Me:"
Iknowkodwanawekal
okwenzazi
ntoezi
fani
zomaneusi
yaKuChuma"
Hi
m:"
okayke.
..
makhesi
behonestt
oeachot
her
,j
ust
nj
ekanci
nci
nehbabe.ALi
lbi
toft
rut
hwon'
thur
t"
Me:
"I
'v
ebeenhonestf
rom dayone"
Hi
m:"
nyhani
"?
Me:
"whatdoy
oumeanny
hani
"
Him:
"babe,
cummonnow.Webot
hknowt
her
e'sal
ot
you'
renott
ell
i
ngme"
Me:
"uy
azbonakengokushi
ft
erIf
ocusf
rom y
out
o
me"
Hi
m:"
thi
sispar
toft
hepr
omi
seandi
thi
"?

Ikeptqui
et..
.i
tonl
ysankinnowthatthere'
sa99.
9%
ofchancesthatheknowseveryt
hingI
'vebeenhi
ding
fr
om him,akhosecr
etwhenitcomest othi
sguy.
Ngulowakhewat hihe'
sgotey
esandear s
every
wherekanene.

Me:
"hm"
Hi
m:"
thet
rut
h"
Me:
"aboutwhat
?Babemasl
aleman"
Hi
m:"
baby
"
Me:
"baby
"
Hi
m:"
thet
rut
h"

Okay.
..
eit
herIprol
ongedthi
sconver
sati
onandsee
theBeastunl
eashedwhenevert
hetrut
hcomesout
orIj
usttel
lNtandothetr
uthnowandmov eon.

Me:
"okayf
ine"
Hi
m:"
thankGod"
!

It
ookadeepbr
eat
handsatup,
hef
oll
owedsui
t

Me:"
thatday
..
.whenIhear
dthevoi
cesandcould
smellt
hesmokeintheair
.Iwal
kedoutofthe
bedr
oom kubandisi
yoj
ongawhatwashappeni
ng"
Hi
m:"
youal
readysai
dthatpar
t"
Me: "
whenIr eachedthestair
sIbumpedonto
Chuma. .
.weex changedafewwor dsandwhenI
reali
zedthatshewasbur ningthehousedownI
turnedkubandi zoyot
hat
hamyt hi
ngsint
heroom"
Hi
m:"
hm"
Me:"
shepul
ledmebythehoodofthegown,
I
uhm..
.y
hothisi
shar
dert
hanIthought
"
Hi
m:"
takey
ourt
ime,
you'
real
mostdone"

Ir
eleasedachunkofbr
eat
handcont
inued

Me:"shepul
ledthehoodandIwentr ol
li
ng
backwardsdownt hestai
rsandthenaft
erthatIwent
bl
ank.Iwokeupf rom thehospi
tal
.That
'si
t,t
hat'
sthe
tr
uthy ouwanted.
..nowcanIsleep"
?
Hi
m:"
whydi
dn'
tyout
ell
me"
Me:
"Ihav
ecount
lessr
easons"
Him:
"Isee..
.i
sitpossi
blet
hatyouuhm,
causedt
hat
acci
dentthedoctorshewasin"?
Me:
"Iknockedherof
fonpur
pose"
Hi
m:"
hm.
..
didsheseey
ou"
?
Me:
"no,
myl
i
ght
swer
eof
f"

Wakhewat
hul
a:vnowmysecr
eti
sout
..Mxm.

Hi
m:"
thi
sissounl
i
key
ou"
Me:
"r
evenge?Yakhey
afananabanbabei
rev
enge"
?
Him:
"sneaki
ness,
secr
ets,
dir
ty
secr
ets,
plot
ti
ng,
danger
,anger
,r
uthl
essness"

Ndakhendat
hul
a..
..

Hi
m:"
that
'snotwhoy
ouar
e"
Me:"
Ihaven'
tdoneany
thi
ngyet
..
.mar
kmywor
ds.
She'
sgonnagetwhatcomingf
orher
"
Hi
m:"
baby
"
Me:"Ntandodoy ouknowhowIfeltwhenIt ouched
myst omachandi twasempty?WhenIl i
stenedto
thedoctorastheytol
dmeI '
m nolongeramot her-
to-
be?Wheni tsunkinthatI
'
vereal
lylostmybaby ?Do
youhav eanyideahowIfelt
?HowIf eelnow?"
Him:
"Iknowy ou'
rehur
ti
ng..
.Iunderstandyouranger
buti
twon'tchangethesi
tuati
on,itwillonl
yrui
nyou.
LetmehandleuChuma, y
ouj ustfocusonschool"
Me:
"no"
Hi
m:"
huh"
?

It
urnedandf
acedhi
m

Me:
"whenIdi dn'
ttell
you,
Iwantedtoavengemy sel
f
onher..
.nowthatItol
dyou,Icandothatwi
thouteven
worr
yingthatyou'
llfi
ndout.Youwil
lNOTinter
fere"
Him:
"babyIcan'
tlety
oudot
hatt
oyour
sel
f,
anger
canbedangerous"
Me:
"t
henl
etChumaf
eel
mywr
ath"
Hi
m:"
okay
..
.butuhm.
..What
'
syourpl
an"
Me:
"ha.
ababe"
Hi
m:"
I'
mjustaski
ngkal
oku"
Me:"
yourconcernshoul
dbey ourson,Owent
ando
not
hingelse.I
fIdeci
detomakehermydol lt
henI'
l
l
dothat
,i
fIgrowsomebr aver
yandki l
lhert
henlet
medecideont hatal
onenotwithyou"

Herel
easedsomechunkofbreat
hwat
hul
a..
.hewas
st
udyi
ngme,li
kehedi
dthefi
rstti
meIr
odehisjet
.
[
10/
10,
19:
00]‪+27730692704‬:
#211

Hi
m:"
okay
..
.butIneedt
oknowy
ou'
ref
itf
ort
his"
Me:
"how"
Hi
m:"
youneedt
ogot
oar
anger
,shoot
ingr
anger
"
Me:"
that
'sagoodthought
,butIwon'
tshooty
etj
ust
yet
.That
'saneasydeath"
Hi
m:"
she'
sgotal
i
censedgunsoy
oudoneedt
hatt
o
pr
otecty
our
sel
f"
Me:
"cool
"

Iknewheknewt hisal
lalong..
.hi
sreacti
onsai
dal
ot
andIdi dn'
tgiveadamnany mor e,
kuzocacaba
ukweliphii
calangokuI'
mt ir
edofguessingba
ndindawni ent
li
zi
yweniyakhe.
Itur
nedtofacetheothersi
dendazamaulal
a,
he
cuddledmefrom behi
ndsalal
asobabi
ni.
.
.
.

Oneweekl at
erIwasbacki ncl
ass,backhomeand
backtomyol dsel
f.NtandoandIwer esti
llcool
,
we
hadn'
tspokenaboutherexsincethatnightandI
haven'
tbeentohishousesincethatpastweek..
.

Soi
cameoutear
lyf
rom cl
assandwentst
rai
ght
home,whenI'
veeatenandr el
axedabitItookmy
tabl
etandsearchedforver
ypoisonoustoxinsand
foundacouple.
..
Iorder
edonewi thall
its
accompani
ment sndali
nda.Hecalledwhil
eIwas
waiti
ng

Me:
"babe"
Hi
m:"
youokay
"
Me:
"yeahsup"
Hi
m:"
justchecki
ng,
you'
reawf
ull
yqui
et"
Me:
'Idon'
twannabothery
ou,maybeusacebai
ndl
ela
onhowt opr
otecty
ourexfrom me"

Wat
hul
a
Justf
orawhi
l
e
AndIwai
ted.
..
cozIknewndi
zophoxwa

Hi
m:"
didy
ouhav
eto"
?
Me:
"no,
butIwant
edt
o"
Hi
m:"
yazuy
ay'
spoi
l
erImoody
omnt
u"
Me:
"ny
hani
"?
Him:
"mxm..
.Ical
l
edtosayI
'
mleav
ingJozi
may
beI
'
ll
bebacki
namont h'
sti
me"
Me:
"j
our
neywel
l
"
Hi
m:"
sondi
zomkandi
ngakubonanga"
Me:"
xaufunaukundi
bonauy
awazumny
ango
wasekhay
a"
Hi
m:"
cany
oucomeov
ert
oni
ghtke,
bef
oreIgo"
Me:
"I
'l
lseewhatIcando.
.andmot
oyam i
soutof
f
uel
"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
fil
li
tupwheny
ou'
reher
e"
Me:
'
'mmh"
Hi
m:"
okayshar
p"
Me:
"sho"

Wehung
-

Bef or eIlef thi shouseIt ookt hatdoct or '

snumber
from hi sphone, sowhenmyt oxi nwasf inal l
y
del i
v eredIdi dal lthenecessar ypr epsanheadedt o
thehospi tal witht hatneedl eupmysl eev e,whenI
reachedt hepar kingIcal ledthatdoct orusi nga
priv atenumberandt oldhi mI '
m Chuma' sf ri
end
ndabesendi zilili
sakengokwat hi she's
sleepi ng,wandi xel elaev ent hewar dshe' si n.He
consol edmesay i
ngIshoul dn'tcryshe' sgonnabe
dischar gedt hef ollowingmor ningbecauseshe' s
nowbet tert hant hepr ev i
ousweek.Af terthat
conv ersationIsneakedi ntoherwar dwi thout
any onenot icingbesi dest hecamer asof cozbut
bei ngaLLBst udentIknewwhatnott odo, which
placesnott ol ookat: vlawcanr eallyteachy oualot
.
Ireachedherr oom andshewasr eallyasl eep.I
i
nj ect edthatneedl eintoherdr ipirri
gat i
onsy st
em
andIwal kedoutt hatdoor ,
usingadi fferentexit
nday ongeneemot weni y am.
Thattoxinwasn'tgonnakil
l her .
..
justgonnakil
lafew
j
ointsifnotafewor gans:vohshameman.But
whenIl eftt
hereIheadedtoVi nce'splacej
ustfor
umbengot ocoolmedown. ..surprisi
nglyIwasn'
t
afrai
dofwhatIhadj ustdone.Iknewcamer aswould
recognizemebutIwasn' tfazed.Notonebi t
.

Imadeanor der
,anewwaitressat t
endedt ome,then
shereturnedwit
hmyor derndaqal andatya.
..
hal
fway
thr
oughmymeal IheardVinceanhi sbrother
chatt
ingandlaughi
ngcomi ngf r
om behindwher eI
wassi t
ti
ngthenbathicwaka,Iknewt heyspott
edme.
Ntandocanseemenobasekupi tchblack.

Vi
nce:
"Tee-
Tee"

Itur
nedandf akedasmil
e..
.t
heycameoverandsat
onmyt able,
Ntandoat
efrom myplat
eey
eingme
qhandazixel
elabaandi
zothet
hatu.
Vi
nce:
"ugr
andsi
si"
Me:
"I
'm gr
eaty
ou"
Vince:
"I
'm gr
eatt
oo,
i
tsbeenawhil
esincewesaw
youaround.Wemustbeblessedt
oday"
Me:
"wel
lwhatcanIsay
?Imi
ssedt
hispl
ace"
Vi
nce:
"okayt
henl
etmenotdi
str
acty
ou"
Me:
"ay
tman"

Wahamba.
..Il
ookedathi
m br
other
,heshr
ugged

Me:
"wassup"
Hi
m:"
nix.
..
youl
ookgood"
Me:
"t
hanky
ou"

Sancokol
aman, somelousytal
kthenv i
ncesentthat
samewai t
resssomemor emeatont hehousesatya
kenontandobutImadesur ethatIpay,
leav
ingthe
moneyinsidethebil
lcaseeventhoughIknewI'm
notsupposedt
o.Mnt
ungamny
ewangenaemot
weni
yakhe

Hi
m:"
siy
endl
i
nimos"
Me:
"no,
bungat
hangal
atenah"
Hi
m:"
buty
ou'
reher
enow"
Me:
"Ineedt
onapkuqal
andi
phuml
ekal
okbabe"
Hi
m:"
uzophuml
angaphakum f
ondi
n"
Me:"
wit
hyoui
nthesamehouse?That
'sl
ikegi
vi
nga
chi
l
dandopenedpackett
osweet
stokeepannot
eat
"
Wahl
eka.
..

Hi
m:"
okayke,
butIst
il
lwi
shy
oucoul
dcomewi
th
me"
Me:
"I
'l
lfol
l
owy
ou,
l
emmegohomef
ir
st"
Hi
m:'
'
ayt
"
Hedroveoutaf t
erme, Iwenthomendaf ika
ndavasa,
dischar
gedt heinjecti
onsbutkeptthem
safel
yLockedatt hesafedr aweri
nmyr oom, f
or
fut
urepurposes.ThenIr eall
ynapped..
.WhenIwoke
up,
Lukewashomewi thSive
Iwenttogreett
hem onlywhenIhadshoweredand
wornnavyhighwai
stedshort
s,whi
tel
acecropped
top,
whit
estil
ett
ossandalsandaneatponyonmy
natur
alhai
r.IwasgoingtobaemossoIhadt olook
thepart

Me:
"heeeey
,l
ookwhodeci
dedt
ocomehome"
Him:"
heysweety
,Idi
dn'
twannawakey ouupf
rom
yoursl
eep.Howareyou?Youlookgoodyouknow"
Me:"
I'
m great
,I
'
m mov
ingonandt
rust
ingt
heLor
din
ev
erythi
ng"
Hi
m:"
Icansee.
..
wher
eyouof
fto"
?
Me:"
I'
m of
ftot
heothersi
deoftown,someone'
sis
l
eavi
ngforCTsoIhavetoseehim off
..
.Si
sihoware
you"
Her
:"
I'
m Gr
eat
,j
ustner
vous"
Me:
"t
hebi
gdayi
sal
mosther
e"
Her:
"youknow?AndI
'
m soex
cit
edt
obeMr
sSmi
th
youhavenoidea"

Wel
aughedandconv
ersedsomemor
e

Hi
m:"
ther
e'saJaguari
nmypar
kingl
ot"
Me:
"becausey
ourbabysi
sterhasaJaguar
"

Hi
sey
esal
mostpopped,
wehuggedi
nexci
tement:
v
:v

Hi
m:"
you'
rev
eryl
ucky
"
Me:
"I
'm bl
essed,
l
uckdoesn'
twor
kli
ket
hat
"
Hi
m:"
wow.
..
I'
mjustgl
adt
oseey
ouhappy
"
Me:
"Ican'
tspendmyli
femopingar
ound,
Ihaveto
moveon.Godwill
seemethrough,
hedi
ditfi
rst
,
not
hingcanhi
nderhi
m now"
Hi
m:"
that
'st
rue.
..
"

AfterthatIheadedoutt oNt ando,hewasshower i

ng
whenIgoti nsoIj ustwenttomakemy sel
fsomei cy
desser tndapholaphaelounger eadingtheside
eff
ect softhepoi sonIusedonhi sbabymommaand
tosayIwaspl easedwasj ustanunder stat
ement ,I
washappywi thwhatIHADdone.That '
sev i
l I
know, butIwasr eall
yhappy.Hecameoutwi thonlya
towel wrappedar oundhiswai standstoodt here
wat chingme,IturnedwhenIcoul dn'tbarehiseyes
onmybackany mor e
Anhewassmi
l
ing

Me:
"awsabobot
heki
ingat
humnkanomsi
nga"
Hi
m:"
Ithoughty
ouwer
enol
ongercomi
ng"
Me:
"I
'm noty
ou,
Ist
ickt
owhatIsai
d"
Hi
m:'
'
don'
tst
artwi
tht
hat
,pl
s"
Me:
"ambonxi
bake"
Hi
m:"
khazondxi
bisast
handwasam"
Me:
"ndonqena"
Him:"
that
'spartl
ywhyIwantedy
ouhere.
..
Ihav
ea
busi
nessmeet i
ngatei
ghtinMossel
Baybabe
khawenzekalok"

Igotupandf oll
owedhi m,Itookoutcl othesforhim
ashel oti
onedhi sbody..
.Ntandouy akwazubawi sa
umnt uwav el
awamangesui tyeseleinfrontofa
massiv emirr
or: oyhuhayzandi yboneindoda
enedramakangakamna.Ihadt opinchmy selffor
concent r
ati
ononwhatIwasdoi ng:v:vIev enir
oned
forhim kubandi f
unaadeagqi beokukut hambisabut
haysanawat hichuumf anaandt obehonestIwas
getti
nghor ni
erbyt hemi nute.Myni ppleswer e
standingtoat t
enti
on,Idon'twannat al
kngezinye
i
indawo.

Me:
"done"
Hi
m:"
thanks"

Atl
eastbynowhehadhi sundi
eson...
atl
east
.Isat
onthebed,wi
thcr
ossedlegswatchi
nghisget
dr
essed,
heonlyworesocksnevestthencameto
ki
ssmyl i
ps

Me:
"what
'st
hatf
or"
Hi
m:"
tot
hanky
ou"

Thenweki ssedagai n...Thi

stimeIst r
ippedt hatvest
off!Itwasn'tmebant uabangcwel ei twast he
desi r
esinaction,hi
ski sseswer eseduct iv
ei nevery
angl eandhewashot t
ert hanthel astti
meI
remember ed:/hegotmykneesweakhegotmy
j
oi ntsknockedupunt i
l Iwaspar alyzedbyl usthe
strippedmenakedandshower edmewi thwet
kissesallover..
.unt
ilher eachedt hekingdom and
openedi tsgateswi t
hbr evi
ty,
thequeenwas
standinginaut hori
tyhebowedbef or
ehermaj est
y
andki ssedherslowl y
,suckedherinandt oyedwith
her..
..Iwasi nanotherlevel
.Theeasierwayf orme
tohandl ethesepleasureswast oputapi ll
owonmy
faceandf azet
hemoansandscr eamscozhewas
doingmesogood, Icouldn'
tkeepmymout hshut!
Haikey awor sewhenheent eredngoZ'khaliIswear
ndamt huthangazozonkewhenIr eachedthe
cli
max. ..

Whenweweredonewi t
hthecoupl
eofr
oundswe
had,
wel
ayt
heresidengi
lesobabi
ni.

Youbett
ertr
ustmengecuddli
ngkesana.
..
number
onekal
oklowo.Ilaymyheadonhi
schestandloses
myeyes,
heencircl
edmybodywit
hhisstr
ongarms
andki
ssedmyf orehead.
AsIdozedoff,
Ireali
zedthatnomat t
erhowangr yI
canbewithhi
m. ..
heismyv eryownt oxin.Ican'
thel
p
i
t.I
'v
egotitbadf orhi
m butt hatdon'tmeanI 'l
ll
et
hi
m playme..
.no,
anhebet ternotmi staket hi
sweak
poi
ntwithmyweaknessent ir
ely,
cozt hat'
ll
behi s
bi
ggestmi
stake.
[
10/
10,
19:
00]‪+27730692704‬:
#212

IswearIsl
eptli
keababywhowasdruggedwit
h
Panadosyrup.Byt
heti
meIwokeup,hewasful
ly
dressedi
ntheclot
hesIchosef
orhi
m
Isatupandy
awned,
hecametosi
tnextt
o
me,ki
ssi
ngmefr
om theneckt
owar
dstheli
ps

Hi
m:"
undenzandf
uneubuy
akwamsi
nya"
Me:
"mmh,
that
'sagoodt
hing"
Hi
m:"butIcan'
t,
I
'venegl
ect
edal
otoft
hingst
hat
si
de"
Me:
"Iunder
stand"

Wekissed:vIwasj
ustgladI'
l
lhav
eChumaallto
mysel
fwithoutf
ear
inguzongenal
oorhe'
l
lvi
sither
wi
thoutmyknowledgeyabo.?
Me:
"mmh,
Ishoul
dgetr
eadyt
oo"
Hi
m:"
wehav
e45mi
nut
es"
Me:
"t
hat
'senoughf
ormet
obat
hANDeat
"

Ndohlikaandwal kedt
owar dst
hebathr
oom,i
nmy
bir
thdaysuit
...
Icouldf
eel hi
seyes,
whenIr
eached
thedoorIturnedandwi nkedathim

Me:
"pl
easemaket
hebed"

Icl
osedt hedoorassoonasIsai dthatcozIknew
hewasgonnapr otest.Ibathed,soaki
ngmy sel
finthe
warmthoft hebubblingwat erjustthi
nkingthi
ngs
thr
ough,myl i
febeforeNt andowasnott hi
s
complicatedbutitwasn'tboringeither
..
whatifhe'
s
nottheone?May beubambol wam lusathesaa
amabat hasomewher e!Iclosedmyey es..
.
St
rangel
yenoughIdi
dseemy
sel
fashi
swi
fe,
the
mot herofhischildren,
thewomanhewakesupnext
toev erymorning,awomanofgr eaterstat
ure,
a
womanofi ntegri
ty,astrongwomanofv i
rt
ue..
.r
ight
alongsidehim,asmuchofat hugashei s,
Isawt he
besti nhi
m.Mor ethanwhathismot hersees.I
snappedoutanddr ai
nedthewater
,cameoutoft he
bathroom andwentt odrymyselfi
nf r
ontofthe
mi r
roraftert
hatIl oti
onedmybodyndanxi ba

Me:
"wecango"
Hi
m:"
khazohl
alanextt
ome"

Idi
dthat

Him:"
Iloveyou.I
fIcoul
dI'
dstandont
opof
Kil
i
manj ar
oandannounceitt
otheworl
dthatIl
ove
youandonl yy
ou"
Me:
"oh-
kaaaaay
"
Him:
"whenIfi
rstsawy ou,
Isawthatf
ier
ce
spi
ri
t,
loy
alt
y,r
espect
,humili
ty,
obedi
ence.
..
Icoul
d
countmor
e"
Me:
"whatar
eyousay
ing"
Him:
"Idon'twantsi
tuat
ionsorpeopl
echangey
outi
s
somethi
ngy ou'
renot,
somebattl
esaremeantf
or
Godtofight,
notus"
Me:"r
efer
ri
ngtolesituat
ionkaChumakenono, hay
mntakadadandikuvancam.Ndi l
indenjekanci
nci
uyaqonda?Justgimmet ime,
thenI'
ll
letGod
conti
nuewhereIleftoff
"

Hi
m:"Iwon'
tstopyou,
you'r
etheonewhof eltt
hepai
n
mostasmuchaswebot hlostason,
butplsdomea
f
avor,
don'
tgethur
tintheprocess"
Me:
"I
'l
lbecar
eful
nott
oo"

Hecamef
ort
handki
ssedme,
Iki
ssedhi
m back.

Me:
"don'
tmi
stakemyl
ovef
ory
ouasmyweakness"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
t"
Me:"I
'
drat
herbehappyal
onet
hanbet
raumat
izedor
abusedi
naunion"
Him:"
Iknowt hat,myaimi stomakey ouhappy ,
giv
e
youwhatevery ouwantandbet hereforyou
wheneveryouwantmet o.
..Ifi
tmakesy ouhappy.
Nyembezizakhoar enotsomet hi
ngIlove
seei
ng,t
heytearmyhear tint
omi l
li
onpiecessoto
avoi
dthat,
I'
dr atherdowhat everi
ttakesjustt
osee
yoursmil
e"

Ihuggedhi
m...
thoughhewasjustsay
ingwor
dsbut
theyweremeaningf
ulwor
ds.

Me:
'
'I
'm sor
ry,
aboutj
uni
or"
Him:"
we'l
lmakeanotherj
uni
orwhenwe'
rebot
h
ready
..
.t
houghengazobangul
obutwewil
lhav
eour
ownchil
dinduetime"
Me:
"yeah"
Wehuggedf oracoupl eofsecondsthenheadedout
tot heairport
,Ihadt oseehi
m offkalok.Wekissed
forsomet imet henheboardedthePJwahamba.I
returnedhomeandcookedf ormy sel
fuLukekal ok
uhlalaaphoahl welwekhonaandI '
m surpri
sedthey
don' taskforhelp,maybetheyhaveaweddi ng
plannerorsomet hingneh?Icookedgqi ba
ndangqengqaj ustchill
i
ng
Sosocal
l
ed

Me:
"nt
wana"
Hi
m:'
'
ushar
psan"
Me:
"moj
andodawena"
Him:
"phol
az,
l
ewayinecri
mi nalrecor
d,acl
osedcase
wher
eshekil
ledaman,paralyzedoneandburnt
downahousewit
hamani nside"
Me:
"what
'sherconnect
iont
otheseman"
?
Him:"
onewasherabusi
vest
epdad,t
heotherwas
herexbef
oreshedat
edtaBeastandtheot
herone
washersi
dedishwhil
eshewaswithtaBeast
"
Me:
"i
nter
est
ing"
Hi
m:"
that
'snotal
l
"
Me:
"i
zanazo"
Him:
"she'
salsoamul e,
wassent
encedto15y
ear
s
i
mprisonmentbutsomehowonlyserv
edamonth
andherdocket
sdisappear
ed"
Me:
"soshewasr
eleased"
Him:"
yes.
..
.nowourjoyi
sthatIam nowi
n
possessi
onofthosedocket
s"
Me:"hahaha!Nowthat
'smydawg!Iwon'
taskany
questi
onsasl ongasy
ouwon'tgeti
ntr
ouble"
Hi
m:"
notatal
l
,Iuseddadscont
act
snt
wanay
am"
Me:
"t
hat
'sgood,
hopef
ull
ythey
'r
etr
ust
wor
thy
"
Him:"t
heyare,
somyst r
ategyist
hatweshoul
dleak
thesedocumentstothepressandseewhatcomes
outofthat
.Ifnot
hingboil
s,
thenwe'
llcomeupwit
h
planB"
Me:
"Ihaveafr
iendhereatschool
whostudi
es
j
our
nali
sm BUTIdon'twannaputhisl
i
featr
isk"
Him:"myeke,
we'llusehimlateron.I
'
lluseaf r
iendof
mineinDailyDispatchEastLondonfirstt
hendi e
BurgerhereinCTt henwhent heset
wohav ethe
st
ory,i
twil
lbeal l
ov ert
henews"
Me:
"okay
,I
'l
lfakeat
wit
teraccountandpostt
hat
"
Him:"
useani
nter
netcaf
ékebabe,
notany
oneofy
our
phones"
Me:
"goti
t"
Him:"
we'
ll
tal
klateraboutanyother
devel
opment
s,khawyekendiyophanda,
wenal
ala"
Me:
"t
hanksbuddy
"
Hi
m:"
any
time"

WhoahLor
d!!
!!
Thi
sisthebestnewsI'
vehear
dtoday
..
.butIsti
l
l
wannahearhowshe'sdoi
ngphakwesasibhedl
ele!
[
10/
10,
19:
00]‪+27730692704‬:
#213
Aftert
hatphonecall
Ihadt i
met ot
hink,
Ihadti
meto
reeval
uateal
otofthi
ngsandasmuchasIwant edto
punishandtor
tureChuma,Ihadtoknowbaubabel o
uinvolv
edkangaknanikuy
oy onkel
entoYalentombi
.
Somyonl yopti
onwast ocallandf
indout.
..

Hi
m:"
Nkos'
kazi
"
Me:
"doy
ouhav
eti
met
otal
k"
Hi
m:"
yes,
yousoundser
ious"
Me:
"Iam,
Ineedt
oknowacoupl
eoft
hings"
Hi
m:"
okay
"
Me:"
Chumakil
l
edaman,
paral
yzedoneandburnt
downahousewit
hamaninsi
de..
.whatwasy
our
i
nvol
vement
"?
Hi
m:"
wher
edi
dyougett
hati
nfor
mat
ionbabe"
Me:
"doesn'
tmat
ter
,cel
aundi
phendul
ebabe"

Hesi
ghed
Hi
m:"canIjustaskwhat
chupl
anni
ngt
odowi
tht
hat
i
nfor
mation"?
Me:
"no,
youcan'
taskmet
hat
"
Him:"
okay..
.Iuhm,Imadethedocument
soft
hel
ast
casedisappearfr
om thepol
icecust
ody
"
Me:
"cany
oubet
raced"
?
Hi
m:'
'
no"
Me:"
ift
hecaser
eopensnot
hingwi
l
lcomebackt
o
you"
?
Hi
m:"no..
.unlesskelamjit
awhot
ookt
hem t
alksbut
ot
herthant hatndigrand"
Me:
"t
hanky
ou"
Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"mh"
Him:"
howdi
dyougethol
doft
hisi
nfor
?What
chu
gonnadowi
thi
t"
?
Me:
"you'
l
lknowsoonenough,
enj
oyy
ourmeet
ing"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
cal
lyouwhenI
'
minCT"
Me:
"shar
p"

Wehungup.
..
IgaveSosothego-
aheadi
fuNtandouyaxokathen
he'
sdughisowngraveandi
ngenindawo.Aft
erthatI
fel
lasl
eep.
.
.
.

Foll
owi
ngmor ni
ngIwokeupwi t
h3mi
ssedcal
l
s
fr
om NtandoIcal
ledhi
m back

Hi
m:"
mor
ning"
Me:
"goodmor
ning.
ushar
p"
Hi
m:"
I'
m good,
you"
Me:
"good.Sawy
ourmi
ssedcal
l
sofl
astni
ght
"
Hi
m:"
oht
hat
,wasj
ustf
ulf
il
li
ngapr
omi
sekal
ok"
Me:
"mmkay
"
Hi
m:"y
ousti
ll
asleep?Ar
en'
tyousupposedt
obe
pr
epar
ingf
orclass"
?
Me:
"yhobabe,
mzi
mbawam awv
umi
tu"
Hi
m:"
iyhout
heni
"
Me:"
Ithi
nkIneedaf
ull
bodymassage,
mymuscl
es
ar
etense"
Hi
m:"
got
oaspa,
I
'l
lpayv
ianet
"
Me:
"user
iousbabe"
Hi
m:"
ewel
ove.
..
hav
eyoucheckedy
ourmai
l
s"?
Me:
"ha.
awhy
"?
Him:
"Imail
edy
out hepi
eceDi
eBur
gerdi
donwhat
youaskedmelastni
ght
"
Me:
"Usi
sthandwa,
I
'l
lcheckt
hatnownow"
Hi
m:"
sowhatnow"
Me:
"nowIwai
t"
Hi
m:"
babywam"
Me:
"nana"
Him:"
please..
..
don'
tlett
histhi
ngchangewhoy ouare.
Thisisnotyou,i
tsangerIunder
standbutpl
ease.
Let'
sratherbookatherapi
stkesiyesobabi
niIdon'
t
mind"
Me:"
let
'spr
aybytheti
mey
oucomebackt
oJozi
I'
ll
bedonewithher
..
."
Hi
m:"
okay
"
Me:
"Il
ovey
ou"
Hi
m:"
Ilov
eyoumor
emyl
ove"
Me:
"hav
eapr
oduct
ivedaykedaddy
"

Hechuckledandwehungup. .
.i
mmedi atelyIwentto
openmyemai l
s.Yhomt chanam,usenjeni uChuma!
Thethingstheywr oteabouther .
..
.:DIquicklytooka
bathandheadedt othehospital,
wentt oherwar d
ndafi
kaegqiboni kwai i
pil
lsIwaitedoutside.The
doctorandnursesl eftndangenawi t
habr oadsmile
andcarcloser.
.shewasconf usedshame, herface
sai
di tal
l.
Me:
"youl
ookgr
eat
ert
hanIexpect
ed"
Her
:"
whatt
hehel
ldoy
ouwanther
e"?
Me:"
Icamet
oseehowy
oudoi
ng,
butIcanseey
ou'
re
doi
ngmuchgreat
"
Her
:"
fokof
aaphaTr
ina"
Me:
"notbef
oreIr
eadt
hisf
ory
ou"

Iopenedlawayndamf undel
a..
.hereyespopped:vI
enjoy
edwat chi
ngherfaceasIcont i
nuedreading.I
readtheenti
reart
icl
ealoudandsmi l
edatt heend

Me:"
you'
resuchastrongwomany ouknow,
pit
y
someofusdon'tneedstr
engt
h..
.weneedpeoplei
n
powerandauthor
it
y"
Her
:"
you'
ver
uinedmyl
i
fe"
!

Ist
oodupandl
ookedhert
ear
yey
eswi
thoutmer
cy
Me:"
Youkill
edmyson,
Iwil
lnothaveafir
stbor
n
agai
ncozy ouki
ll
edhi
m.Iwon'tki
ll
you,I
'
m no
murder
erbutI'
ll
makesur
ey ouregr
etthedayyou
wereborn"

ThenIwal
kedout
.
Iwenttocl
ass,Sosoemail
edmet heDDpaper
ndafundat
henaf t
ermyclassIheadedt
oaspa,the
bi
llwasmailedtoNtandoandhepaidndagoduka.

AmonthpassedandChuma'snewswereheati
ng
ai
rwav
esallovert
hecount
ry,
not
hinghadchanged
bet
weenbaeandIandIwasn'tl
ooki
ngforanymore
ammunit
ion.

Baewassupposedt oret
urnmont hendneh?
AkabuyakeChumawasdi schar
gedfrom the
hospi
talbutshewaswheel chai
rbound,
thatt
oxi
n
andthatcaracci
dentki
ll
edherjoint
ssomnano
Sosocont
inuedwi
thouri
nvest
igat
iont
act
icsonher
.

Soaweeklat
erIdecidedt
ocomeoutf
rom school
andheadt
otheShisaNyama,
madeanorderand
wait
ed.

Her
:"
heyTee"

Il
ookedup.
.f
akedasmi
l
e

Me:
"Chl
oe"
Her
:"
Ijustcamet
osayy
oul
ookgor
geous"
Me:
"oh.Thanks.Iguess.
..
"
Her:
"t
hebossreal
l
yknowshowt ochoose,
andi
t'
s
cl
earheknowshowtotakecar
eofhiswomen"

Il
ookedather
..
.
Unt
ilnowshenev
erst
ri
kedmeast
het
alkat
ive
per
sonsheseemst
obe

Me:"soyour
eckonIl
ookt
hisgoodbecauseofy
our
boss"?
Her:
"whoelse?You'
rei
nvarsi
tyl
i
ket
her
estofusy
et
youalway
sl ookonpoi
nt"
Me:
"andt
hati
sapr
obl
em how"
?
Her:
"we'
rewor kingourbut
tsof
ftol
ookhalfasgood
asyou,
andy ou'renot.I
sn'
ti
tcl
eart
hatsomeoneis
taki
ngcareofy ou"
Me:
"wow.Er
h..
.pl
easecal
lVi
ncentf
orme"

Shemut
ter
ed

Her
:"
Ididn'
tmeant
oupsetordi
srespecty
ou,
Iwas
j
ustsay
ing"

Myor
dercamet
hrough,
Itol
dtheguyt
ocal
lVi
nce
f
ormeandhel
eft

Her
:"
cummonTee"
Me:
"It
hinky
ou'v
esaidenoughofwhaty
ouwant
ed
t
osay,
canIeatnow?Pls"
Her
:"
tyoh"

Shewal
kedaway
,Vi
ncecameoutandj
oinedme

Hi
m:"
sup"
Me:"Idon'tappr
eci
atebeingcr
ossquest
ionedby
yourstaffaboutmypersonall
i
fe"
Hi
m:"
staf
f?Whodi
dthat
"
Me:
"Chl
oe"
Hi
m:"
okayI
'
llat
tendt
oit
"
Me:
"t
hanky
ou"
Waphakama..
.Iat
emymeal ,
pai
dthebil
landtipped
theguyanddr
ov ehome.Iwant
edtoputmyf eetup
andcall
Sosoonsomenewdev elopmentsonour
case.
[
10/
10,
19:
00]‪+27730692704‬:
#214

Ireachedhome,st
ri
ppednakedandtookjusta
sarongtowraparoundmybody:vJozihadadopted
Durban'sweat
herfort
hatday,
IswearIwouldhav
e
walkedaroundnakedqhaii
ntl
onist
oppedmeand
thenIcall
ed
Soso

Hi
m:"
mfazwegi
ntsa"
Me:
"associ
ate,
ugr
and"
Hi
m:'
'
ndi
moj
asweet
ywena"
Me:
"I
'm cool
.
..gotany
thi
ngnewf
orme"
?
Hi
m:"I
'
veleakedsomeinfotothecopsbutI
'
m st
il
l
wai
ti
ngtoseetheirr
eact
ion"
Me:
"okay
,udi
scr
eetmos"
Hi
m:"
hundr
edper
cent
"
Me:
"ay
tke,
I
'l
lawai
tyourcal
l
"
Hi
m:"
shosan"

Wehungup.
..
Someonebuzzedt hegate,
Ihadtocheckthe
cameras:vdealingwi t
hChumaIcan'treal
lyr
iskmy
l
ifenowcanI ?Wel lImustsayIwassurpri
sedt osee
bae'scarcozebengumnt uobusymosl astti
mewe
spoke,any
wayIopenedf orhi
m.Hedrov ei
nIopened
thedoorandsatont hecouchbusyonmyt ab,he
walkedinIlookedupandsmi led

Hi
m:"
awsabl
ushi
"
:
vakase!

Istoodupandwehugged,
Lol
hishandwentbel
ow
thewaistImov
edbackandki
ssedhim,
foraver
y
l
ongmi
nut
ethenwesatdown.

Me:
"awsemhl
e..
.unekhomkhom"
Hi
m:"
CTweat
herkeepsmei
ndoor
sbyf
orcekal
ok"
Me:
"i
sitcol
d"
Hi
m:"
rai
ning,
stor
my.
..
Ihadt
oescape"
Me:
"mmh,
awl
ambanga"
?
Hi
m:"
youcooked"
?
Me:
"Icoul
dhavel
eft
oversbutIdi
dn'
tcook
t
oday,
bendi
zokuor
delasomethi
ng"
Hi
m:"l
et'
srat
hercookt
oget
her
,I
'
vehadenough
t
akeawaymeals"
Me:
"andsedi
nwebabe"
Hi
m:"
you'
l
lsi
tont
hecount
erkal
ok"

Ohwel l
Icouldn'
treal
l
ycomeupwithanyot
her
excusesoIleadthewaytot
heki
tchenandwe
star
tedcooking
Hi
m:"babel
ewayuy
nxi
bil
eyokut
hway
int
ongama
l
ayo"
Me:
"sar
ongl
ove"
Hi
m:"
yho,
hayi
danger
ousst
handwasam"

Il
aughed,
l
ewaywasabitofaseethroughsoI
'
m
sur
ehecouldseeI
'
m nakedunder
neath.

Me:
"yi
ntonngat
hiawy
azl
ent
ouy
bonaphanaf
ondi
n"
Him:"kal
okndisedesser
tsothef
ir
stgl
ancei
vel
e
yavusaii
ntent
ezamasi r
ayel
i
"

YhoIblur
tedoutl
aughi
ng!Icoul
dn'
thel
pmy
sel
f,
I'
m
ser
ious,
Icoul
dn'
thel
pmy sel
f.

Me:
"babeamasi
ray
eli
anent
ent
enah"
?
Hi
m:"
tchi
nngokubabehambei
for
tyy
ear
sedesser
t
ut
hibal
alaphi
nababe"
?
Me:
"oohokay
"
:
v
:
v
Wecooked,
play
ingandj
oki
ngaroundthenwhenwe
wer
edonewewentt osi
teloungewi
thourfoodand
i
ndul
ged.

Hi
m:"
how'
sschool
"
Me:
"gr
eat
,mor
ewor
k"
Hi
m:"
I'
m expect
ingdi
sti
nct
ionsal
ltheway
"
Me:
"you'
l
lgett
hem uzobona"
Hi
m:"
mmh"

Ikeptqui
et.
..
YazwhatChloesai
dwasbot her
ingmecozIjust
real
i
zedbayint
oabayit
hethayol
eyaqhayena
wangugqat
siwewayit
hetha.
Hi
m:"
babe"
Isnappedoutofi
t
Me:
"mh"
Hi
m:"
what
'swr
ong"
Me:
"wr
ong?Ohnot
hing"

Hest
oppedeat
ingandhel
dmyhands

Hi
m:"
tal
ktome"
Me:
"nomanbabe,
i
tsnot
hingt
owor
ryabout
"
Hi
m:"okay
,buti
tsgoty
oudi
str
act
edsot
ell
mewhat
i
tis"

Ical
cul
atedbutendedupt
ell
i
nghi
m

Me:
"okayf
ine,
don'
tmakeabi
gdeal
ofi
tneh"
Hi
m:"
okay
"
Me:
"Iwasatt
heShi
saNyamaear
li
er,
oneofyour
wai
tr
esseswal
keduptomewazi
ncokol
isake"
Hi
m:"
Libo"
?
Me:
"ha.
a"
Hi
m:"
mmh,
whatwast
heconv
ersat
ionabout
"
Me:"sheimpli
edthatIlookedgoodngenxa
yakho,t
hatsomeoft hem havetoworkthei
rasses
offtolookhal
fasgoodasmekodwamna
andiphangel
indawondi bendi
njena"
Hi
m:"
wenai
yaki
hluphal
ont
o"
Me:"babeuyay
iqondaphofbalent
oi t
het
hwangu
l
omnt anacanbeinter
pret
edinanotherway
?That
I
'm usingmybodytogetmoney "
Hi
m:"
didshesayt
hat
"
Me:
"shedi
dn'
thav
eto,
shei
mpl
i
edi
t"
Hi
m:"
okay
..
.may
beshedi
dn'
tmeani
tinabadway
"
Me:
"may
be"
Icont
inuedeat
ing,
heal
socont
inued.Myphoner
ang
Il
ookedathim

Hi
m:"
what
"?
Me:
"Chuma"

Wat
hul
a..
.

Me:
"l
ow"
Her
:"
Ineedt
oseey
ou"
Me:
"excuseme"
?
Her
:"
ndi
funaukubona,
awsi
vanai
si
lungu"
Me:
"awphi
l
anga"
Her
:"
it
sur
gentTr
inaIneedt
oseey
out
oday
"
Me:"
youdon'tgettoor
dermear
oundsi
si,
and
besi
des,
I
'm busytoday
"
Her
:"
please.I
'
m beggi
ngy
ou"
Me:"what
everi
tis,
i
twi
llhav
et owaitt
il
lIhav
ea
chanceoryoucanmeetmei ntowninanhour"
Her
:"
Ican'
tdr
ive"
Me:
"asky
ourf
ri
endorcal
lacab"
Her
:"
awnokwazukuzaaphaendl
i
ni"
Me:
"whoneedst
oseewho"
?
Her
:"
okayI
'
llseewhatIcando"
Me:
"I
'l
lwai
tfory
ourcal
l
"
Her
:"
okay
"

Ihungupndabekal
ophonephakude!Shehasa
nerve!Nx!

Helookedatmewi t
houtsayi
ngawor d,Iknewther
e
wasal othewoul
dlovetosaybutbei ngNtandohe
won't
.Whenwewer edoneIcollect
edt hedishes
ndazi
vasaandpackedthem okondithecwaka,he
cametothekitchenwhi
l
eIwassweepi
nghetook
thebr
oom fr
om myhandsandputi
tasi
dethen
tur
nedmetof acehim

Hi
m:"
don'
tdot
hist
oyour
sel
f"
Me:
"youdon'
tunder
stand"

Heki
ssedme.
Iwasnumb.
Iwasangr y..
.yazxauy i
j
ongal ent
oI'
m notev en
supposedt obeangr y,
youknow?Butl oChumal ona
manev enthement i
onofhernameget smybl ood
boil
ing!Tearsr oll
eddownmycheeks, hewi pedthem
off
,theypouredandhej usthuggedme, myknees
weregonnaf ail mepr ettysoonbutt
hankGodhe
huggedmet ighteruntilIhadnomor et ear
s.Thenhe
walkedmet othel oungeandwentt of etchwater
ndaselaandcal meddown

Me:
"t
hanks"
Hi
m:"
uyay
bonaphofl
ent
oisnothel
pingatal
l
"
Me:
"Idon'
twannat
alkaboutt
hisnow,
plsbabe"
Hi
m:"
okay
,packaweekendbagsi
hambe"
Me:
”no.
..
I'
l
luhm,
I
'l
lfol
l
ownobakungomso"
Hi
m:"
ngomso"
?
Me:
"I
'm notreal
l
ygoodcompanyt
oday
,I'
m hopi
ng
t
omorrowI'l
lbefine"
Hi
m:"
it
sokay
,Iwon'
tbot
hery
ou"
Me:
"babepl
s"
Hi
m:"
Ican'
tl
eav
ey oui
nthi
sstat
ebaby,j
ustpacka
f
ewchangi
ngcl
othesandt
oil
etr
iessi
hambe"

Igotupandpushedmy selfupst
airs,Ipackeda
weekendbag,wor
elongtightsandast rapl
essbra
underneat
hthesar
ongandt henreturnedtohim
ndamnikalabagsayongenakwey akheimot oandhe
drove.
Hi
m:"
ther
e'ssomet
hingIneedphakoVi
nce"
Me:
"Ihopeawy
eli
lant
obendi
kubal
i
sel
ayonake"
Him:
"no,
sokwehl
i
kasobabi
niuy
bonel
ent
o
ndi
yoyt
hatha"
Me:
"kay
"

Sower eachedtheShisaNy
amasohli
kasobabi
niand
walkedt otheoffi
ce,
Iwasbusyhav
inga
conversat i
onwi
thAmandaonWhat sApp:vImi
ssed
bei
ngcr azywi
thher.
Istoodbyt hedoorwangenay enaandtookagun
kwi saf
et hensaphuma,Lol Iwasn'
tshakenatal l
yaz.
OnourwayoutIsawChl oe,Vincewhowaswal ki
ng
usoutsawherf ir
stthenlookedatme. .
.herf
acehad
alotsayingspityherli
pscoul dn'
tspeakthem out

Hi
m:"
mkhul
uwangi
nenki
ngal
a"
Beast
:"
whatpr
obl
em"
Hi
m:"
Tri
nahasbecomemypr
obl
em f
oral
ongt
ime
now"
Me:
"me?Whathav
eIdonenow"
?
Beast
:"
babywenzeni
"?
Him:"
rememberyousai
dshemust
n'tpayxaezot
ya
apha,
nobufunai
cockt
ail
"?
Beast
:"
ewe"
Him:"
uy abhatalal
eyenaandshegoestotheext
ent
ofti
ppingof fthepersonwhoser
vedher"
Beast
:"
wel
lmyekeni
,she'
sgotami
ndofherown.
Canyouaskt
hem tomakeusporkqui
ckl
y"

Lol
eshe!

Vi
nce:
"ey
amal
i
ni"
?
Hi
m:"
R200i
zobhat
alwangubabe"

Wesatdownatt hel
astt
abl
eandwait
ed,
IsawChloe
Isi
gnal
edforhertocomeover:
vvi
ncewasgoneso
akhoni
x!Shecameandmut
ter
edhergr
eet
ing

Me:
"cany
ougetussomer
efr
eshment
spl
s"
Her
:"
whi
chones"
?
Me:"whiskyont
her
ocksf
orhi
m,cosmopol
i
tan
cocktai
lforme"
Her:
"wedon'thav
ecockt
ail
sthi
sti
me,
butIcanget
youanyj
uice"
Me:
"wat
erwi
l
lbef
inet
hanks"
Her
:"
whi
skeycomi
ngr
ightup"

Wahamba.
..
.

Hi
m:"
whyi
sshet
ense"
?
Me:
"Idon'
tknow,
Idon'
tthi
nkIcar
ekef
uthi
"
Hi
m:"
zul
i
bal
ekungakhat
hal
i
"
Lol,
theyboughtmet hatwaterandaglasst
hent
he
otherordersaphol
akef ut
hiemv akoko.
[
10/
10,
19:
01]‪+27730692704‬:
#215

Wedi dn'
teatourmeatt her
e,wetooki
thomebutI
di
dpayt heR200y ayoandt i
ppedtheguywho
braaiedi
tforusthensagodukafikakwethuendl
iniI
wentupstair
sandgoti nbed,myheadwast hr
obbing
butjonga,
Imadesur eallmyphoneswerewi t
hme.
Hecameupandsatnextt ome

Hi
m:"
youokay
"
Me:"
sli
ghtheadache,
I
'm sur
eI'
l
lbef
inewhenIwake
up"
Hi
m:"
whatdi
dyoudr
ink"
Me:
"wat
er"
Hi
m:"
okay
,I
'l
lbedownst
air
sify
ouneedany
thi
ng"
Me:
"okay
"
Heki
ssedmeandgotup.
..

Me:
"babe"
Hi
m:"
mh"
Me:
"pl
swakemeupi
fuzophuma"
Hi
m:"
Iwon'
tgoany
wher
etoday
"
Me:
"kay
"

Hel eftclosingt hedoort henIslept

,myheadwas
reall
yt hrobbingandIonl ywantedtosl eepitoffnot
eatmedi cation,I'
vehadenoughoft hatwhenIwas
pregnantwi thjunior.Iclosedmyey esandsl ept.
..
.
Hahaha!I yhoinj ustaf ewsecondsndi l
eleIsaw
Chumabur ningt hehousedown, it
slikeIwasr e-
l
ivingthathor ri
ficdayIl ostmybabybutasmuchaI
cri
edi nt hatdr eam,Isur vi
ved,
Ipushedherbacki nto
thef i
reandr anoutandshebur ntdownwi ththe
house.YhowhenIwokeupIwassweat yand
heav i
ngf orbr eath.Ilookedar ound,everyt
hingwas
sti
llnor mal Iwentt ot hebathroom ndabuy aand
checkedmyphone,
hadami
ssedcal
lfr
om Ev
esoI
cal
ledherback

Her
:"
heeeey
,I
'v
ebeencal
l
ingy
oui
nal
lyourphones"
Me:
"Iwassl
eepi
ngf
ondi
n,
howar
eyou"
Her
:"
I'
m gr
eat
,howy
ouhol
dingup"
Me:
"j
ustf
ine"
Her
:"
I'
m sor
ryIwasn'
tther
e"
Me:
"i
tsokay
"
Her
:"
Boobooi
stal
ki
ng,
that
'swhyIcal
l
ed"
Me:
"ohmyGod!Real
l
y?Wher
eishe"
?
Her
:"
he'
ssl
eepi
ngnow.
..
whenl
astdi
dyouv
isi
t
mom"?
Me:
"yhoIdon'
tknow.
..
butshe'
swi
thMar
cusmos"
Her
:"
yeah,I
'
m goingov
ert
her
enextweekend.Imi
ss
t
hem,especi
all
ydad"
Me:"
yholastt
imeIwasther
emyhear twasi
n
pi
eces.
..
Ihopedadhasatl
eastwokenup"
Her
:"
Mar ci
squi
etabouti
tsoIt
hinki
tsbet
terIsee
f
ormy sel
f"
Me:
"yeahneh,
how'
sLD"
Her:
"he'
sst
il
lthesame..
.hegotanint
ernshi
pat
SARSbuthe'
llonl
ystar
tnextyear
"
Me:
"wow!That
'
shuge"
Her:
"i
tisandI'
m goi
ngtoCubawi
thacoupl
eof
ot
herstudentdoct
ors"
Me:
"heeeh!Y'
al
lar
epr
ogr
essi
nghuh"
Her:
"wehaveanaddi
ti
onal
persont
ot hinkof
,sonow
ever
ythi
ngwedohastobeforhisf
uture"
Me:
"he'
sluckyt
ohav
eyouashi
smomma"
Her
:"
andy
ouashi
saunt
y..
how'
staBeast
"
Me:"
he'
sstil
lthesame,
j
ustmor
ecar
ingnowaf
ter
whathappened"
Her
:"
thatni
qqal
ovesy
ouLi
lsi
s"
Me:
"yout
hink"
?
Her
:"
Ithi
nk?Don'
ttel
lmey
oudon'
tseehi
sef
for
ts?
Orhav
eyouf
oundy
our
sel
fanot
herman"
?
Me:"
noman..
.Ij
ust
..
.someti
mesIdon'
tfeel
whathe
say
sthoughhemeansit"
Her:
"youneedtotel
lyoursel
fthetr
uth,youlov
ehi
m
andyou'r
emostaf r
aidoflosi
nghimt hat'
swhyyou
needthatconst
antassuranceofhi
slov e"
Me:
"kalokEvehespendsmostofhi
sti
me
wor
king..
.mostt
imefarawayf
rom me"
Her
:"
andoncey
ougraduatey
outoowil
lspendmost
ofy
ourti
meworki
ngfarfr
om home"
Me:
"uy
adi
kav
ha"
Her:"
nawetchi,
j
ustappr
eci
atethedude.He's
everyt
hingyoueverwi
shedfori
naguyandt ot opi
t
all
,
he'sthebadguyontheoutsi
debuttheloveron
theinsi
de"
Me:
"hahaha!YhuuuEv
ely
n"
Her
:"
youknowI
'
mri
ght
"
Me:
"yeahwhatever
,wheny
our
etur
nfr
om CTi
nfor
m
me,
Imi ssBooboo"
Her
:"
I'
ll
dot
hat
,hav
etogonow.Keepsaf
eokay
"
Me:
"Iwi
l
l,
thanksf
ort
hecal
l
"
Her
:"
any
time"

Aft
ert
hatIwentdownst
air
sandfoundbaewi
tht
wo
guysi
naseri
ousconver
sati
on.
..

Me:
"er
h..
Mol
weni
"

Theyl
ookedupandsmi
l
edbav
uma

Me:
"uhm,
I
'l
lbei
ntheki
tchen"
It
urnedt
owal
kawaycozIdi
dn'
twannai
ntr
ude

Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"mh"
Hi
m:"
come"
Iwentt
osi
tnextt
ohi
m

Hi
m:"t
hisisj
ustasuggest
ionsokeepanopenmi
nd
t
oit,
okay"
?
Me:
"oh-
kay
"
Hi
m:"
I'
vecal
l
edt
heseguy
sher
esoy
oucansee
t
hem"
Me:
"okay
"
Hi
m:"
andIwantt
hem t
obey
ourbody
guar
ds"
Me:
"body
guar
ds"
?
Hi
m:"
yes"
Me:
"ooh"

Lol
Iwasdumbf
oramoment
[
10/
10,
19:
01]‪+27730692704‬:
#216
Therewassuddenl ysil
enceinther oom. .
.t
heywer e
probabl
ywai t
ingformet osaysomet hi
ng,Iwas
amazedt hatubabet hi
nksIshoul dhav ebodyguards
butmostlyIwasr eal
lytakenbythehot nessoft hese
gaurds>_<theylookedalike,
fi
t,
notdar knotli
ghtin
complexi
onandt heyhadpi tchblackneat l
ycombed
fadesentl
oko.Damn.

Me:
"canIt
hinkabouti
t"
?
Hi
m:"
sur
e,I
'
llcal
lyouguy
sneh"
Them:
"shot
abeast
"

Theyf
istbumpedandl ef
t..
hewalkedt
hem out,
I
wentt
omakemy sel
fcoffee.Ndayi
gqi
bel
anini
?He
camebackndisazamisa

Hi
m:"
Ihopenam ndi
nay
o"
Me:
"youcant
akemi
ne"
Hetookmycupwandi shiy
aapho,Iputr
usksi
na
pl
ateandwenttohim elounge,
Iputmylegsonhi
s
l
apaswehadt hatcup'a'
cozymoment .

Hi
m:"
sleptwel
l
"
Me:
"baddr
eam"
Hi
m:"
bout
"
Me:
"nonespeci
fi
c..
.y
ou'
reher
eforhowl
ong"
Hi
m:"
unt
ilIknowy
ou'
resaf
e"
Me:
"f
rom"
?
Hi
m:"
I'
m notanswer
ingt
hat
"
Me:
"mmh"

Myphonesallr
angatoncendaphol
aapha
ent
loko,
andi
l
ogezamna

Hi
m:"
hayzi
thenphonezakhozakhal
azonke"
Me:
"ngul
asat
hanaunguChuma"
Hi
m:"howcanyoubesur
ewi
thoutev
enchecki
ng
who'
scall
i
ng"
Me:
"she'
stheonl
yper
sonI
'
m expect
ingacal
lfr
om"

Het ookt hetab,

pri
vatecall
er.TooktheiPhone,
pri
vat ecall
er.Tookthelastone,
nayoprivat
e
cal
ler...
helookedatthephonest henbackatme.
Wazi bekaont hecoffeetabl
eakathetha

Theystoppedndamhl
ekacozt
hel
ookonhi
sface
wasjusthil
ari
ous

Hi
m:"
babet
hisi
sget
ti
ngputofhand"
Me:
"Iknow"
Him:"st
opi
twhil
eyoucan,
other
wisewe'
l
lhav
e
ourselv
esl
ockedi
nacobweb"
Me:
"khawmemanbabe"
Ipi
ckedupmyphoneandcal
l
edher
..
.

Her
:"
yint
on"
Me:
"sund'
qhel
akakubi
"
Her
:"
fucky
oubl
oodyhel
l
"
Me:"
Chumadon'ttel
lmetofuckmy sel
f,
I'
l
lfucky
ou
upungazazi
nesdukosakhondak'
xelel
a"
Her:
"undbuzeKuNt andomnauyeva?
Ndakuphahlazaubuchophonj
engbaungena
ngqondonje"
Me:"
mamelakel
ovi
e,
let
'
sjustl
ett
hist
hingpl
ayi
tsel
f
outneh?
"
Her:
"kudi
beneii
mazi zodwamntanam,
uzocaca
ukubauli
sanaeli
sancacaebel
eni"
Me:"uyimazi
wedwa,i
fyouwannaknowmet akea
di
ctionar
yandsear
chforafemal
ev er
sionoft
he
beast"

Ihungup
Me:
"Ineedt
hoseguy
s"
Hi
m:"
that
'sf
astt
hinki
ng"
Me:
"adt
heybet
terknowt
hei
rjob"
Hi
m:"
Itr
ustt
hem"
Me:
"sho"

Icontinuedl
i
kenot hinghappened.It
extedSoso
whatjusthappened,hesuggestedIconvincebae
siy
eeKapasohecant akemet ohisfat
her'sfr
iend
whoownsashoot i
ngr ange.Ineededti
mef or
thi
s,babewil
lseeitsuspici
ous..
.Ornot:/

Me:
"canwegot
oCapeTown"
Hi
m:"
whysosuddenl
y"
Me:
"It
hinkI
'
mlosi
ngmy
sel
fapha"
Hi
m:"
okay
..
.whataboutschool
"
Me:
"si
zoy
aWednesdaykal
okIdon'
thav
ecl
asses
Thur
sdaynaFr
iday
"
Hi
m:"
okay
,I
'l
lcal
lMo"
Me:
"t
hanks"

Ii
nformedSososoallhehadtodoi smakean
appoint
mentonmybehalfkulachap,i
fChumathinks
I'
m arunovershebet
tert
hinkhardercozndi
zi
xelel
e
I'
m notbacki
ngdownandIdon'tevenwannainvolve
mybr ot
hersi
nitcozshe'
dbedeadi nasecond.

Ispentmydaywi t
hmymani ndoor
swithallour
phonesoffsot hatmeantwewer ewit
hout
dist
ract
ions,weactual
lytookittot
heextremesof
chil
l
ingupstair
sinbedinsteadofthecouch

Myheadwasonhi
schest

Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"l
ove"
Hi
m:"
awkaf
uni
undi
tshat
anangoku"

Il
ift
edupmyhead,
Ihadt
olookhi
mint
heey
eswhen
Ianswerhi
m

Me:"
babei
t'
snott
hatIdon'
twantt
o,t
het
imi
ngi
snot
r
ight
"
Hi
m:"
forwho"
?
Me:"
forme.
..
look,
youwi
llknowwhent
hingsar
e
goodformethenIwon'
tprotest
"
Hi
m:"
mmh"

Iki
ssedhi
sli
ps

Me:
"Ist
il
ll
ovey
ou"
Hi
m:"
Iknow"
Me:
"andIknowI '
l
lbehappi
erasy
ourwi
femor
ethan
asy
ourgir
lfr
iend"
Hi
m:"
I'
m gl
ady
ouknowt
hat
..
.nowcomecl
oser
"

:
v

Weki
ssed
Andki
ssed
LolIreali
zedt hatspendingti
mewithyourlov
er
doesn'thav etomeany ouguysmusthavesexual
i
ntercoursey oucanj ustspendt
imeby
cuddli
ng,talki
ng,r
esti
ngorev enj
ustl
ookingateach
otherinsilence.I
twaswor ki
ngf
ormeei t
herway^_^

Hi
m:"
thewayy
ou'
resmi
l
ing"
Me:
"youmakemehappy
"
Hi
m:"
evenwi
thal
lthedr
ama"
?
Me:"
youal
onemakesmehappy ,
dramai
neseason
yay
oanditwi
ll
passli
keal
lseasons"
Hi
m:"
you'
reget
ti
ngwi
serbyeachdayt
hatpasses"
Me:
"andi
thi
naweuy
andkhul
i
sa"
Hi
m:"
oohmnt
anam"

Hahaha!Yhuakhomnt
uapha!
[
10/
10,
19:
01]‪+27730692704‬:
#217
Wespentthedayi
ndoor
s,i
nbedmost
lyt
henhi
s
phoner
ang,wat
het
haforj
ustaf
ewminut
esand
hungup
Hi
m:"
thatwasmyl
awy
er"
Me:
"oh"
Hi
m:"he'
sbeeninfor
medt hatl
acasekaChuma
i
vusi
we,appar
entl
ythey
'vefoundt
hemissi
ngdocket
"
Me:
"sowhyi
nfor
myourl
awy
er"
Hi
m:"
he'
stheonet
hatuhm,
gotherf
ree"
Me:"
youmeany
ougav
ehery
ourl
awy
ert
ost
andf
or
her
"?
Him:"
yes,
anditmadesensecozshedi
dn'
thav
e
anyoneorany
thingbackt
hen"
Me:
'
'Isee.
..
whyy
out
ell
i
ngmet
his"
?
Him:"
babeI
'
mj ustdoi
ngwhatweagr
eed
on,
remember"
?
Iki
ssedhi
m.
Ireal
izedthatthi
smustbediffi
cul
tforhim,Ihadto
understandthefactt
hathewasoncei nlovewithher
j
ustli
kehei swi t
hme,hewoulddoany t
hingforher
j
ustli
kehedoesf ormesotherewasnor easonfor
met obesel f
ishboutal
loft
his.
Hi
m:"
whatwast
hatf
or"
Me:"
you'
reagoodman,
athear
t.Morer
easonwhyI
can'
tst
oplov
ingyouev
enifIwant
edto"
Hi
m:"I
'm nowaynearbei
nggood,
butIt
ryt
obegood
f
ortheonesthatIl
ove"
Me:
"f
ormey ou'
reper
fect
.Sowhatnow,
wher
edowe
gof
rom her
e"
Hi
m:"she'
l
lhavetof
indherownlawyerkal
okxoz
i
caseyonaiv
ukil
ekuzoxoxwaf
rom scrat
ch"
Me:
"oh"
Him:"
ift
hingsgoaccordi
nglyshecoul
dgetar rested
andsentencedf
orlif
ecozthatdocketcar
riesal otof
cruci
ali
nformat
ionabouther,
thi
ngsIwouldn'tli
keto
di
scusswi t
hanyone"
Me:"weallpayforourmistakes..
.may bemelosi
ng
j
uniorwasalsoapay menti ndisguiseyouknow?I
wasn'tsupposedtogetpregnant .Idi
sappoi
ntedmy
par
ent sj
ustli
keEve"
Hi
m:"
That
'snonsensebaby
"
Me:
"I
'mj
ustsay
ing"
Hi
m:"okaycanwemov
eont
osomet
hingmor
e
pr
oducti
ve"?
Me:
"hav
eyout
houghtaboutwhatIsai
d"
Hi
m:"
huh"
?
Me:"
ey obandi
funauhambanawesi
yeKapat
his
weekend"?
Hi
m:"
sur
ecasesi
yahamba"
Me:
"enkosi
"
It
houghthar
dngal
ewaykaChuma.
..
Nowwor ryyam nguOwe,unli
keThandohe' snotv er
y
usedtonotbeingaroundhismom andkengoki fI
getmarr
iedthere'
sahugepossibili
tythatt
heirdad
wil
lwantust oli
veunderoneroof.Nowhowdoi
l
ovewithachi l
dknowingverywellI’
mt hereason
uMammakheengekho.Butshei sthereasonuny ana
wam engekho.
NowIcouldn’
thel
pbutf
eel
somesad.Ijustkeep
wonderi
ngwhathewoul
dhavel
ookedl
ike.
Ebezof
ananaban?Woul
dbebel
ikeoneorhisf at
her
?
Me:
”Ar
emyact
ionsj
ust
if
iedoram Ij
ustwr
ong?
”
Hi
m:”
Expl
ain?
”
Me:
”ForwhatI
’m doi
ngtoy
ourbabymomma.Ar
e
t
heyj
usti
fi
edoram Ij
ustwr
ong?”
Him:“Baby,Nobodyknowshowyoufel
twhenyou
real
i
sedoursonwasgoneWhatChumadi dwas
uncal
ledforandIunderst
andy
ourl
ashi
ngout”
Me:
”But
?”
Him:”ButIjustwi
shyoucouldstop.Idon’
twantthi
s
changi
ngy ou.Li
keIsai
dbeforeangerisdanger
ous
andIdon’twantthatt oaff
ectyou.
..butial
so
underst
andt hatyoufeelli
keyouneedt odothis..
..
soIwon'tstandiny ourway.Iwil
ll
ety oudo
whateveritt
hatyouf eelwil
lhel
pyoudeal wit
ht he
pai
n.I’mjustheretomakesur eyouar esafe”
Me:”Iloveyou.Ir
eal
l
ydo,
andIt
hanky
ouf
ornot
i
nterf
ering.
”
Iki
ssedhi
m.Ifel
tli
keIshoul
djustseal
all
thi
swi
tha
makeupsessi
ononourbed.
Wef ellasleepi neachot hersarmsandIhav etosay
Iwashappy .Iwoketohi m stari
ngatmeandIj ust
staredback.Wekeptt hatintenseeyecontactandi
feltmyi nsidesmel t(fi
gurativel
yofcause)Thisguy
j
ustsomeef f
ectonme.It hi
nkI ’
m addi
ctedtohi s
l
ov e.Ir anmyhandst hroughhi sabsandweki ssed
forawhi l
e.Wehoppedoft hebedandgotr eadyf or
mycl ass.
Iwaskindofgl
adwespentt
hewhol
eofy
est
erday
toget
her.
[
10/
10,
19:
01]‪+27730692704‬:
#218
Imetupwi thSosoi ndeedandhet ookmet othis
guy,hetoldmeI 'l
lneedmor et imebutobv i
ousl
yhe
couldgetmypaper ssooneri fIcancooperateLol
that'
sanacademi cwayofsay inghecouldgetmy
papersqui cker,
i
ll
egallysoveleIwant edtoprotect
my selfIhadt ocooperate.Afterthefi
rstt
wo
sessionsweheadedbackt ot hemallnefri
endy am
andsatar oundwai ti
ngf orref
r eshments

Hi
m:"
sohowwasi
t"
?
Me:"
tr
il
li
ng..
.butI
'
m scar
edofhowbabewi
l
lreact
whenhefindsout"
Hi
m:"you'
l
lhavet
otellhi
m,excl
udemyname,
cozy
ou
doknowhe'swel
lconnected"
Me:
"yhondi
zozamachap,
aykhol
ulal
oway
"

Wedr
ankupt
henIcal
l
edbae

Hi
m:"
Sibongi
l
e"
Me:
"yhoy
int
onkangakaf
ondi
n"
Hi
m:"
heeekant
ibabeay
'l
ogamal
akhonahel
i
"
Me:
"sul
'
bizangef
orcekal
ok"
Hi
m:"
okayxol
oke,
what
'
saup"
Me:
"cel
auzond'
that
habr
a"
Hi
m:"
hai
bobabe,
ndi
ngubr
angoku"
Me:
"heeey
azy
imi
stakest
handwasam,
sor
ryv
ha"
Hi
m:"
ayt
"
Me:
"uy
eza"
?
Him:
"I
'l
lsendGuddacozI
'
m ki
ndaswampedr
ight
now"
Me:
"ooh,
uphi
wenangok"
Hi
m:"I
'
m att
hewar
ehousebutI
'
llbebacki
nti
mef
or
di
nner
"
Me:
"okay
..
.kodwamnt
wam ndonqenaupheka"
Hi
m:"
awnamal
iaphakuwe"
Me:
"er
h..
.no"
Hi
m:"
okay
,I
'l
lgi
veGudday
ou'
l
lseewhatt
obuy
"
Me:
"t
hanksnt
wanay
am"
Hi
m:"
heh,
uskeuxakekexauf
ikekwel
i
kapa"
Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"

-
Il
ookedatSoso

Hi
m:"
what
"?
Me:
"yazbr
aIhav
eaf
eel
i
ngheknows"
Hi
m:"
yhohai
kesan"
Me:
"nochi
l
l,
ndi
zomxel
elabutnotnow"
Hi
m:"
ooh"

Wewai t
edforafewminut
esthenIsawGuddaf rom
adist
ance,
motozabozvel
enjezi
benesit
hinzi
>_<
man!IhuggedSosoandwenttothecarndahlal
ae
back
Hi
m:"
hai
boTeei
zongenangapha"
Me:
"hayndi
ri
ghtnal
aphabhut
i"

Hefi
xedther
earvi
ewmi r
rorandl
ookedatme,
I
l
ookedatmyphonesahamba

Hi
m:"
thebi
gguysai
dyouwant
edt
obuyf
ood"
Me:
"yeahcel
asi
yekwaNando'
s"
Hi
m:"
shar
p"

HedrovetoNando' s,nowIhadt oorderwhi

lewe'r
ein
thecart
henhedr ov e..
.ashewasdr i
vingIr
eali
zedI
wil
lnotbealr
ightifIgot othathousendihl
ale
ndedwa.Yhu!Ndizoqal andi
khumbul alami
nikal
ok
yhoIcal
ledhim

Hi
m:"
Baby
"
Me:
"you'
l
lfi
ndmekwaMar
c"
Hi
m:"
huh"
?
Me:
"hai
bobabe,
you'
l
lfi
ndmekwaMar
cus"
Hi
m:"
awuy
iendl
i
nikant
i"
Me:
"ha.
Anababey
ho"
Hi
m:"
mayIaskwhy
"?
Me:"y
ouwouldn'
tunder
standbabemanqha
uzugqit
hengam"
Hi
m:"
okayshar
p,di
dyougetf
ood"
Me:
"yesI
'
lldr
opitendl
i
nif
ir
stgetwar
mthenI
'
llgot
o
Mar
cushouse"
Hi
m:"
alr
ight
,Il
ovey
ouokay
"
Me:
"Iknowst
handwasam"

Wehungup

Me:
"Guddabrandcel
aundi
seendl
i
nikuqal
athen
kwaMarcus"
Hi
m:"
nopr
obl
em"

Wedr ovehome,
ndaf
ikandabekaukut yathenItook
acoatandmyownwal letndaphuma.Goti nthecar
andaskedGuddatodri
v etoKFCj ustnje
ndingangeni
emzi
niwomnt undiphaca,af
terbuyi
ng
thebucketwewentt
oMar cushouseandGuddal ef
t
me.

Iwalkedi
nandLi
zlaughed:
vitwasanunexpect
ed
vi
sit
.

Her
:"
youl
ookgr
eat
,howar
eyou"
Me:
"If
eel
great
,wher
eismyboy
"
Her:
"youdon'
tknow?Heli
veswit
hmypar
ent
s,Ican'
t
copewithwork,
school
andbei
ngamom"
Me:
"you'
renotdonewi
thschool
"?
Her
:"Ist
art
edanewcourse,
wor
krel
ated.Ev
ewas
her
enotsol ongago"
Me:
"shet
oldme,
i
smom st
il
lher
e"
Her
:"
eh,
no.
..
shenowl
i
veswi
thKer
iandherhusband"
Me:
"oh"

Wat
hul
a..
.

Thatwasasur
pri
se.

OkayIpushedthatoneasideandweconver
sed
moreaboutherownl i
feandmybrot
her:v
Ispentnomor
ethant
wohour
sthent
hecar
s
chargedi
n

Me:
"t
hisst
il
lhappens"
Her
:"
wai
tti
l
lyoumar
ryhi
m,y
ou'
l
lseef
ory
our
sel
f"
Me:
"whosai
dany
thi
ngboutmar
ri
agenow"
Her
:"
youdon'
tpl
ant
o"?
Me:
"Idon'
tknow"
Her:
"vat
'en'
si
tisn'
tagoodi deat
rustmeIknow,
soif
youreal
lylovehim bet
tergetmar r
iedt
ohimthan
j
ustbeinghisothergir
lf
riend"

Inodmyheadandl ookeddown...
thenout si
deas
theyal
lwalkedi
n.Iwassooocomf or
tabl
ey az,Lol
kalokMarc'
shousei shomet ome.t heywal kedin
andgreet
edbahlalaphantsi,
Marc,Rangerandt a
Beastwal
kingatthev eryendoftheline:vmake
cametohugme

Hi
m:"
youl
ooksgr
eat
"
Me:
"If
eel
greatboet
"
Hi
m:"
mmh,
canwet
alkasi
de"

Ismiledandgotup,
babesey
esmetmyownbutwe
didn'
tsayathi
ng.Sahambanobr
otherwam and
wentt ot
hepati
o
Me:
"sup"
Hi
m:"
Iwantt
het
rut
hokay
"
Me:
"oh-
kay
"
Hi
m:"
today
..
.y
ouwentt
oseeJer
ry.Why
"

Lol
..
.Iwasn'
tsur
pri
sed.Notev
enonebi
t.

Me:
"doesy
ourbossknow"
?
Hi
m:"
noty
et"
Me:"
kay..
.Iuhm,
Iwannapr
otectmy
sel
f.Thatchi
cki
s
apsycho"
Hi
m:"
whi
chchi
ck"
Me:
"hi
sex"
Hi
m: "
butagun?Ar
eyousur
eyouwannat
aket
hat
r
oute"?
Me:
"I
'm notsur
ebutIthi
nkfornowi
t'
l
l hel
pme
f
ondi
n,kamandiyouknowhowdangerousshei
ssoI
real
lyneedt
ofeelpr
otect
edev enwhi
l
eal
lofy
ouar
e
hereandI'
m al
lal
oneinJo'bur
g"
Hi
m:"
yeahneh"

Sakhesat
hul
a.

Ranger
:"
Mar
c,y
ouhav
eacal
l
"
Hi
m:"
okay
..
.l
et'
sgoi
nsi
de"
Me:
"I
'l
lfol
l
ow"

Lol
theywal
kedi
n.
IfMarcknows,
sofastthenbeastshoul
dknowand
kenyhaniihav
etotell
him myself
.
Kwat yi
wakebutIdi dn'teat,
Idr
ankcof
feethenmna
nobaeweheadedhome, st
hecwakakeapha
endlel
eni,
infactIwassobusyonmyphonei ki
nda
forgotabouthim.Wer eachedthehousewalkedin
andwentupst airs,
hefoll
owedaf t
erawhi
leand
foundmeundr essi
ngtot akeashower
Hi
m:"
canIj
oiny
ou"
Me:
'
'er
h..
.no"
Hi
m:"
hehhai
bo"
Me:
"andy
ouknowwhy
"

Wahlekawakhul ul
a.Ilef
thim ndayovasa..
.ri
ghtnowI
wasn'ti
nt hemoodf ormakinglov enyhani.Whenhe
walkedintheshower ,
Iwasalreadydonendaphuma
ndayokusulaandwor emyPJst henwentdownst ai
rs
toprepareandwar m ourfood.Hecamebackal soin
PJswahl alael
oungewai t
ingforme,Iservedthe
foodsatya

Hi
m:"
uthen"
Me:
"mh"
?
Hi
m:"
you'
redi
str
act
ed"
Me:
"oh.
..
nahay
ont
o"
Hi
m:"
usur
e"

Inodmyheadancont i
nuedeating.
..
myproblem i
s
thatweagr
eedontransparencyngokukunzi
ma
ugcinal
ewayasasecret.
[
10/
10,
19:
01]‪+27730692704‬:
#219

Afterweat eIwentt owasht hepl at

es,Ididn'
thear
him comi ngincozokondi cingananal ent o
bendiyenzanamhl anjesoasIt urnedwi thapl at
eon
myhandandadi shclot
hIgott heshockofmyl i
fe
whenIsawhi ml eani
ngont hef r
idge,t
oapoi ntt
hatI
droppedt hepl ateanditbroke.Mywhol ebodywas
shakingexceedi nglyanduncont roll
ablyngoku
yavelayangat hindibuyel
abackt osquar eone.
Immedi atelyafterIdroppedt hepl atehecamet o
pickupt hepiecesapol ogizingshame, whenmymi nd
snappedback, Ibentdownandhel pedhi m pickup
thepieces.Whenwewer eal mostdone, remember
I'
m shakingneh, Icutmy selfmi staki
nglyy howay eka
yonkelont oandt ookmet ot hesinkwav ulel
a
amanzihol
dingmyhandsti
l
l:'
(yat
shot
shozel
a
kanj
an?Yho!Iev
enhadtear
yeyesbynow

Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
ryokay
"
Me:
"babendi
kuv
il
eit
sokay
"

Henursedthewoundanddr esseditusingt hefi

rst
ai
dkitthenndamshiyandayolal
aashef inished
pi
cki
ngupt hepieceswhenhewasdonehej oi
ned
meinbed,Iwasn'tsl
eepi
ngatallyaz,
Ijustchanged
myPJt opint
ohisT-shir
t:vndif
unanjeel av umba
l
akheandIwaswat chi
ngVuzu.Foramomentt here
wassil
ence

Me:
"babe"
Hi
m:"
mh"
Me:
"i
tsj
ustacut
,sudeubenest
ressngal
eway
"
Hi
m:"
Iknow,
butdoyouseet
haty
ou'
rejumpy,
ngoku
uy
azi
yobait
sonlyt
hetwoofusi
nthi
shouse"
Me:
"er
h..
."
Him:
"babeIr
epeat
,youneedt
oseesomeonet
ohel
p
youwit
hthetr
auma"
Me:"
ashri
nk?BabyI
'
m nott
raumat
izednj
e,
thi
swas
aonce-
offt
hing"
Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"l
ovi
e"
Him:
"ubanenkanii
snotgoingtohel
pyou,
gett
ing
hel
pandaccept i
ngitdoesn'
tmakeyouweak"
Me:
"Iknowt
hat
"
Him:"t
henlet'
sgethel
p,t
oget
her.I
'l
lbethereever
y
stepoftheway ,
I
'l
lhel
pyouwitheveryt
ask..
.I
'l
ldo
anythi
ngjustsoyoucanbetheS'bongi
lethatI
know"

Ndat
hul
a.
Iwasn'
tj
ustqui
et.
Ihadal
umpi
nmyt
hroat
,av
erybi
glumpf
uthi
.
Somet hi
nginhisv oi
cewaspainstricken,Icl
osedmy
eyesandletthetearsfl
owatf i
rstheletmecr y,
I
knewhewaswat chi
ngmet houghthiswasasi lent
cry.Aft
eracoupleofsecondshepul l
edmecl oser
ndali
lanyhanikengok.Icri
edndanesi ngqalasade
saphelakwashiyekaumfixi
zoqhat henImov edback
andcleanedmy selfup

Me:
"i
tst
il
lhur
ts"
Hi
m:"
it
sokaykal
oknowt
ell
mewhyul
i
langoku"
Me:"
myhear
t.
..I
tst
orn.IwanttoseeChumasuf
fer
,i
wannaav
engemybabyneh...
.but
..
."

Ibr
okedownagai
n
Thisti
meitwasv oi
cedout
,pai
nful
andhear
tfel
tand
againheembracedme.

Andaznobandi m ndi
yat
efaorwhatbutthi
swasthe
onlyti
meIcr i
edndaxolaandIswearthi
shousehad
thatef
fectandthememor yofev
eryt
hingjust
becamefr
esh..
..Butkendathulasahlalai
nsi
l
ence,
I
tur
nedandfacedtheothersidendalala.

Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"mh"
Hi
m:"
ulel
e"
Me:
"hm"

Heki ssedmyshoulderwandiyeka.Ndalala
mt chanam.Foroncendalal
a.Itisonl
ynowt hatIhad
peacei nsi
de.Iwasn'
tfaki
ngit
,Iwasn'tpretendi
ngto
beatpeace, Iwasatpeacebutmay beIhadt ogof or
thattherapysessi
onjustf
orspiri
tual
peaceand
healingformysoul.
[
10/
10,
19:
01]‪+27730692704‬:
#220

Thefoll
owi
ngmorningIwokeupbef or
ehim and
wentforaj
ogleav
ingallmyphonesbehindexcept
fort
heoneIuseoncall
ingandtext
ingSoso:v
coi
ncident
all
yIwasusi
ngi
ttol
i
stent
omusi
cwhi
l
e
j
ogging.

WhenIcameback, Ntandowasawake.Iact
ual
ly
walkedinwhi l
ehewaspaci ngar
ound,
Iwasheaving
f
orbr eath,
heturnedwandij
onga:
/Iwasconfusedke
yi
lookt hatIgot.

Me:
"mor
ning"
Hi
m:"
mor
ning"

Iranupthestair
sandwenttoshower,
cameoutand
gotdressed.ThenImadethebedndaqoqoshanje
andwentdownst ai
rsndaf
ikaehl
eli
phant
silooki
ng
down

Me:
"babe"

Hel
ookedup
Me:
'
'ushar
p"
Hi
m:"
yeah"
Me:
"okay
,I
'l
lmakeusbr
eakf
astneh"
Hi
m:"
thanks"

Iwenttomakebreakfast
,Ipl
ayedmusi
conmy
phonejustsomehappysongsman.WhenIwas
doneIdishedupforusandservedt
hef
ood,
weatei
n
si
lenceforawhil
e

Him:"
yougotmescar edf
oracoupl
eofmi
nut
es
xandvukaungekho"
Me:
"huh"
?

Hedidn'
trepeathimself
,hehman,
isheser
ious?Don'
t
t
ell
mehet houghtI'
drunaway:o
Me:
"ubuci
ngandi
yephi
"
Hi
m:"Idon'
tknow,
butkal
oksi
l
eleungekhor
ightwhat
wasIsupposedtot
hink"
Me:
"yho.
..
I'
m sor
ryIgoty
ouwor
ri
edbabe"
Hi
m:"
you.
..
seem al
otmor
ebet
tert
hanl
astni
ght
"
Me:
"Iguesst
hecr
yinghel
ped"
Hi
m:"
andadmi
tt
ingt
hati
tst
il
lhur
tsy
ou"
Me:
"t
hatt
oo.
..
sosi
zoy
ani
nikekwi
ther
apy
"

Hestoppedeat
ing,
l
ookedatmeandsmi
l
ed.
..
Iknow
>_<

Hi
m:"
you'
reser
ious"
Me:
"ewekalok,
ify
out
hinki
tst
hebestt
hingt
odo
t
henlet
'sdoit"
Hi
m:"
Ihopey
ou'
renotdoi
ngi
tformekebabe"
Me:"
no,
I
'm doi
ngi
tprimar
il
yformebutIknowf
or
sur
ebothofuswi
llbenef
it
"
Hi
m:"
Icoul
dki
ssy
our
ightnowy
az"
Me:
"qhay
ouwon'
t,
youmout
hisf
ull
ofegg"

:
vhet hrewmewi t
hadishcl
othndaphephaandthen
wecont i
nuedeating,
heoff
eredtowashthedishes
thenwechilled,
ki
ndabucuddledonthecouch.LolI
sti
llhadtomeetSosoont heotherhandIwanna
stayputwithbae.

Hi
m:"
Iwannamakey ouhappy,
notjusthappyi
nthe
ey
esofyourpeopl
ebuthappyngaphakathi
"
Me:"I
'
m happyalr
eady,
Imadepeacewit
hallt
hat
happenedandI'
m aski
ngGodforthest
rengt
hto
conti
nuebecauseli
fer
eal
lygoeson"
Hi
m:"
I'
m gl
adt
oheart
hat
"
Me:"
nowwithal
lthat
sbeensaid,
plsnehIhav
e
somewher
etogot o,
sondcel
aukishi
ya"
Hi
m:"
uyaphi
"
Me:
"I
'm meet
ingSoso"
Hi
m:"
niy
aKuJer
ryagai
n"

Ndomel
wangumqal
a.

LolIthoughhar
d,ndav
elandancuma.Hi
sownsmi
l
e
broadened.

Me:
"Ishoul
dhav
eknowny
ou'
l
lfi
ndoutsooner
"
Hi
m:"
'
youhav
en'
tanswer
edmyquest
ion"
Me:
"ewebabesy
aKuJer
ry"
Hi
m:"
mmh,
uhambekak'
hl
e"

Lolndaphakamay
az.Iwentupst
air
sndanxi
ba
nj
ee..
.t
henndabuy
elaKumnuntuwami.

Me:
"Iwant
edt
otel
lyou,
qhandoy
ika.Kway
izol
o"
Hi
m:"
it
scool
,
needar
ide"
Me:
"usur
e"?

Him:
"well
Idowannaspendti
mewi
thy
oubutubusy
soever
yLilmi
nut
ecounts"
Me:
"okay.
..
masambeke.Ar
eyouokaywi
thi
tthough?
Nowthatyouknow"
Him:"
bendizokusanam whenIseeur eadybutits
okay,
Iguesstrai
ningsoonerdoesn'
treal
lychange
thepl
an"
Me:
"yhobr
uh"
Hi
m:"
andi
ngobr
uhwakhoke"

Ismil
edandtookonephone,
l
eavingezi
nyebehi
nd.
Hedrovemetotheshooti
ngrangeIcal
ledSoso
sesi
phabutst
il
li
nthecar

Hi
m:'
'
ndi
yaphumaendl
i
nisodi
banasamespot
"
Me:
"morni
ngSoso,
no.We'
l
lmeetatt
heshoot
ing
r
ange"
Hi
m:"
okay
"
Me:
"shar
p"

Wehungup.
..
Af
teraf
ewmi
nut
eshecal
l
ed

Me:
"nt
wana"
Hi
m:"
arey
oudr
ivi
ng"
Me:
"no"
Hi
m:"
thenuy
enj
ankwaJer
ry"
?
Me:"
yhomf et
hu,
khaw'
khawl
ezeI
'
llt
ell
youwhen
you'
reher
e"

Wat
hicwaka.
..

Hi
m:'
"dammi
theknowsneh?Ohcr
ap!Asi
muncu
man"
Me:
"hewon'
tki
l
lyou,
rel
ax"
Hi
m:'
'
ndi
yimi
ncemeatal
ready
"

Ibur
stoutl
aughing.UyaphambanauSosobet
huna.I
hungupsti
l
llaughing

Me:
"babeSosomi
ghtnotcome"
Hi
m:"
whynot
"
Me:
"woy
ikawena,
nowt
haty
ouknow"

Wahl
eka

Me:
"ndcel
aumf
ounel
engokwakhobabepl
s"

Hetookouthi
sphoneesahl
eka^_^Lolhaysana
nam i
ndot
husi
ler
eacti
onyakhet
ot hi
sJerryt
hing.
[
10/
10,
19:
04]‪+27730692704‬:
#221
Hecal
l
edandhadt
hephoneonl
oudspeaker

Soso:
"hel
l
o"
Hi
m:"
hehf
ondi
nsl
i
ndewenaapha"
Soso:
"yhobr
a,y
az.
..Okay
"
Hi
m:"
15mi
nut
eskendoda"
Soso:
"okaybr
a"

Thenbaehungupandwel
aughed
Sosocal
l
edme

Me:
"baby
"
Hi
m:"
yhoha.
anasanandi
zokwazukuzamna"
Me:
"why
"
Hi
m:"
yhohaymf
ethu"
Me:
"br
akhawy
ekeubast
ubbor
n,ubabeknowsand
he'
sokaywi
thev
ery
thi
ng"
Him:
"br
angubabewakhol
oh,
he'
l
lbeofbet
ter
t
reat
menttoy
outhantome"

Me:
"Lwandi
soTi
tus"
Hi
m:"
Tri
nal
i
queSmi
th"
Me:
"pl
smanI
'
m beggi
ngy
ou"
Hi
m:"
okayf
ine.Yho"

Hehungup.
Il
ookedatbaeandshr
ugged

Hi
m:"
what
'supnow"
Me:
"Sosoandmazmanbabe,
ukoy
ikany
hani
phof
"
Hi
m:"
awman!Shoul
dIcal
lhi
m agai
n"
Me:
"ha.
amy
eke.Hekconear
ound"
Hi
m:"
okay
,masi
ngenekeasf
umane
sesi
ngaphakat
hi"
Me:
"okay
"

Wewentinsi
de,
Jer
rylaughedwhenhesawNt
ando:
/
t
heyshookhandsandhugged

Hi
m:"
dude,
whatbr
ingsy
ouher
e"?
Beast
:"
wel
lIguessy
oudi
dn'
tknow,
thi
sladyov
er
herei
smymadam"
Hi
m:"
wow!Sonowy
ou'
ret
rai
ningheri
ntot
hegame"
Beast
:"
Iwi
sh,
she'
sgotami
ndofherown"
Me:
"er
h..
.I
'
m st
il
lher
e"

Theylaughedandconv
ersedevenmoreasIwait
ed
forSoso,
theyl
eftmekebayoncokol
aasi
dethen
Sosoparkedoutsi
deIwentoutandmethi
m
ther
e,wehugged
Hi
m:"
howdi
dhef
indout
"
Me:
"wi
thhi
myounev
erknow"
Hi
m:"
he'
snotangr
y"?
Me:
"no,
sur
pri
singl
y.He'
sinsi
decomei
n"

Lol
Sosowasr
eal
l
yshaken.
Wewal kedi
nandwentt hr
oughtotheshoot
ingsi
de
babebencokolakeaba,
Sosogreetedt
henmy
sessi
onstart
edandtheywatched
WhenIwasdonewewentoutkeandheadedt
oour
car
s

Beast
:"
Lwandi
so"
Hi
m:"
taBeastbr
a"
Beast
:"
ufundi
saumnkam uphat
haumpungoku"
Hi
m:"
yhobr
a"
Beast
:"
wit
houtmyconsent
"
Wat
hul
a.

Me:
"babey
azbonake"
Beast
:"
heeendi
rongondawni
nahbabe"
Me:"
hayyekananoSoso.
..
ntwanay
am,
ngomso
sameti
meneh" ?
Hi
m:"
we'
l
ltal
konphone"
Me:
"okay
,thanky
ouf
orcomi
ngev
ah"
Hi
m:"
alway
s"

Wehugged,Igav ehim R200yepetr

olt
henhe
l
eft
,nam ndangenaemot weninobhuti
baeandwe
wentoutforlunch.
..Orderedourf
oodandst
uff
ed
our
selv
es

Me:
"ndot
huki
l
ekenamhl
anj
e"
Hi
m:"
wot
huswey
int
on"
Me:
"yourr
eact
ionngal
ewaysi
sukakuy
o"
Hi
m:"
heee"
Me:
"ny
hani
babendot
huki
l
e"
Him:"
I'
m notamonst
er,
youknow.I'
m human,
Iknow
whatfeel
ingsar
eandIknowthatnomnyeumntu
unazo"

Ouch.
Ohkay
.

Ndat
hul
andat
yaqha

Hi
m:"
Nal
i
que"
Me:
"mh"
Hi
m:"
nowy
oumoodhassuddenl
ychanged"
Me:
"nahi
tsnot
hing"

Wat
hul
a.
Whenwewer edoneeati
ngIheadedst r
aighttothe
carandhefoll
owedri
ghtaf
terset
tl
ingthebi ll
wangenaanddr ov
ehome,f
ikakwethuendl i
ni
ndayol
alacozmywholebodywaspai nf
ul,crampi
sh
Hewal
kedi
n

Hi
m:"
ushar
p"
Me:
"mzi
mbawam buhl
ungu"
Him:"
I'
m sorr
y..Er
hm,t
heguysar
ecomi
ngov
er,
si
nce
Ican'
treal
lymeetthem kwaMar
c"
Me:
"yho"
Him:
"nodon'twor
rywe'
l
lsor
tour
sel
vesout
.Get
somerestneh"

Heki
ssedmyf
oreheadandwentdownst
air
s.
[
10/
10,
19:
04]‪+27730692704‬:
#222

Icl
osedmyey
esandt
ri
edsl
eepi
ng,
butasmuchasI
wantedt o,Icoul
dn'
t.Idi
dn'
t.Toapointt
hatIhear
d
theguy sdownstair
sbengxolachat
ti
ngandlaughi
ng
ndazincamaanddr anktwoparacet
amol'
sukuze
ndil
ale.

Iwaswokenupbyaphonecal
l

Me:
"mh"
?
Her
:"
hi,
ushar
p"
Me:
"hm"
Her
:"y
ou'
resl
eepi
ng?Ohsor
ryf
orwaki
ngy
ouup
ndi
m uChuma"

Il
ookedatmyscr
eeninsur
pri
se,
Chumai
snev
ert
his
ni
ce.Notev
enonce.

Me:
"par
don"
?
Her
:"
it
smeChuma"
Me:
"Icanseey
ournumber
,i
funani
"
Her
:"
Iwant
edust
otal
k,
womant
owoman"
Me:
"Ihav
enot
hingt
osayt
oyou"
Her
:"
pleasejusthearmeoutokay,
Iwannaapologi
ze
t
oyouf orev
er y
thi
ng.I'
m sor
ryTr
inapl
sfor
giveme"

Isatupandsuppor
tedmybackwi
thaacont
inent
al
pil
l
ow

Me:
"you'
resor
ry?Forwhat
?Whati
sev
ery
thi
ng"
?
Her
:"
thepai
nIcausedy
ouandNt
ando"
Me:
"mxm"

Ihungup,
l
eftmyphonet herenday
ovasaubuso,
the
housewasquieternow.ThenIwentdownst
air
sI
washungrykengok
Iwenttotheki
tchenandmademyselfasandwi
ch
androoi
bosteaandRangerwal
kedinwithgl
asses
Hi
m:"
Mrs"
Me:
"hey
"

Iwal
kedt
othel
oungeandat
eup
Hemusthav
efol
l
owedmekecozIhear
dhi
svoi
ce
ndi
sat
ya

Hi
m:"
howdoy
oudoi
t"
Me:
"dowhat
"
Him:"
thethi
ngsy
oudobehi
ndhi
sback,
ful
l
yknowi
ng
uzozazi
"
Me:
"I
'm notf
oll
owi
ngy
out
aRanger
"

Hesatdownandl
ookedatme,
si
zi
ngmeencumi
l
e:/
t
hecreeps

Hi
m:"
thei
nfor
mat
iony
ougotonChuma,
whaty
oudi
d
wi
thi
tandt
her
esul
tsofi
t"
Me:
"r
esul
ts"
?
Him:"
don'tactdumbnow, weal
lknowshe'
sbeen
arr
estedsincelastweekandhe'
snotevenl
if
ti
nga
fi
ngertohelpher"

Idi
dn'
tknowt
hat
.
Nt
andoknewi
tandhedi
dn'
ttel
lme.
Ohwait
,t
hat'
swhyChumacal
ledmeear
li
er,
pri
soni
s
notf
orcoconut
skal
okshameman.

Me:
"wel
lIdon'
tseehowt
hisaf
fect
syou"
Hi
m:"
itdoesn'
t,
butI
'
m worri
edaboutyou.You'
re
sl
owl
ybecominghim..
.andI
'm wor
ri
edifyou'
ll
cope"
Me:"
I'
m becomi
nghi
m?Kant
iRangerwher
eisy
our
l
oyal
ty"
?
Hi
m:"heknowsit
swit
hhimther
e'snodoubtabout
t
hatbutyou'
ret
oosweett
obecomeagangst awif
e"
Me:"
haha!Toosweet
?WhydoIf
eel
li
key
ou'
re
cr
ushingonme"?
Hi
m:"
ifIam"
?
Me:
"you'
l
lgethur
tndoda,
sukaapho"
Hi
m:"
whydoIf
eel
li
key
ou'
ref
li
rt
ingwi
thme"
Me:"me?Fl
ir
ti
ngwi
thy
ou?Haymnt
akadad
uphazi
mil
e"
Hi
m:"
real
l
y?"

Ndamj
ongandamhl
eka:
v

Hi
m:"
what
'st
hej
okenow"
Me:
"youar
e"

Hi
m:"
wel
lther
e'snonewr
ongi
nfancy
ingsomeone"
Me:"wel
lther
e'ssomet
hingv
erywr
ongi
nfancy
ing
yourbosseswife"
Hi
m:"
wif
e?Wher
e'st
her
ing?Lobol
a?Ohcommon
Teeuyayaznawehe'
st oodangerousforyouand
kemnakespeaki
ngfrom experi
ence,hedoesn'
tst
op
oncehesmellsbl
ood,nobalel
i
kabani"

Il
ookedatt
hisguy
..
.r
eal
l
y?

Me:"
yazworryyam nguwe.Alloft
hisbul
lyou'
re
sayi
ngcoul
dhappent oyou,anydayanyminut
ey et
youthi
nkyou'
reinv
incibl
e"

Hi
m:"
I'
m hi
sri
ghthandman,
het
rust
sme"
Me:
"andy
ousomehowt
hinkhe'
l
lbel
i
evey
oumor
e
t
hanmeneh"
Hi
m:"i
tsaguythi
ng,
neveral
l
owanychi
cdest
roy
whatyouhav
ewithyourboys"
Me:
"mmh"
Beast
:"
pit
yshe'
snotj
ustanychi
c"
Rangerj
umpedoutofhi
schai
randlookedatNtando,
Iwassurpr
isedt
oobutIdi
dn'
tmakeittooobvi
ous.

Hi
m:"
shobr
a,khawy
ekenehTee"
Me:
"oh.
..
okaysho"

Her
ushedoutoft
helounge,
baecametosi
tnextt
o
meandlookedmever
ydeepintheey
es

Hi
m:"
feel
i
ngbet
ter
"
Me:
".
..
yeah"
Hi
m:"
good.We'
regoi
ngt
othebeach"
Me:
"oh.
..
"
Hi
m:"
goandchanges'
hambeni
kebabe"
Me:"nam?It
houghti
tsonl
yyouandy
ourguy
snj
e
babe"
Hi
m:"
they
'r
ebr
ingi
ngt
hei
rgi
rl
fr
iendskal
oknj
elov
e"
Me:
"haymanbaby
..
."
Hi
m:"
Lizwi
l
lbet
her
etoo"

-
_-

Me:
"kayf
ine"
!

Hekissedmypout edli
psandwal kedupstai
rs.I
coll
ectedthethingsIusedforeati
ng,washedthem
thenwentupst air
s.Icoul
dheartheshower ,
and
smellhisshowergel .
..
ver
ymascul i
neandmanl y,
Lol
I
sawmy sel
fundressingkwangokoIwassooogonna
j
oinhim.
Iwal kedinthatshowerboothstal
knaked, hisback
wasf aci
ngthedoorsoasIwal kedinmyhands
touchedhi smasculi
neback,absandar mst henhe
turnedandf acedme.Wespentani ntensemi nut
e
j
ustl ookingateachother
,ey
et oeyeandbam!I tfel
t
l
ikewewer epushedbysomegr eatforceaswe
hunger edandkissedeachother.Hef orcedme
againstthatwallandthenhecont i
nuedki ssingme
ri
ght
ful
lyandi
nall
thecor
rect
ional
placesthen
somehowIfoundmywayoutofhisembr ace.

Me:"
weshouldn'
tdot
hiswhi
l
eyourf
ri
endsar
e
downst
air
s"
Hi
m:"
theywon'
tcomeher
e"
Me:
"mmhbabykodwast
il
l"

Hecuppedmyfaceandkissedmeal
loveragai
n,and
nowthi
swasforcedwit
hhungerf
oreachother
.Lust
wasdri
vi
ngmecr azy
.
[
10/
10,
19:
05]‪+27730692704‬:
#223

WeDidourdeed,
hot
,wet
,messy.
..
anddeli
sh:p!The
wewal
kedoutift
heshowertoourroom say
onxi
ba

Me:
"babe"
Hi
m:"
mh"
Me:"
Ididn'
tbr
ingany
thi
ngsui
tabl
eforbeach
weather"
Hi
m:"
youdon'
thav
eshor
ts?That
'ssounl
i
key
ou"
Me:
"Imeanbi
ki
niandswi
mwearmanbaby
"
Hi
m:"
oohkay
,we'
l
lbuyi
tont
heway
"

Ichosetowearawhiteshor
tcasualdresswi
thbl
ue
andwhitewedgysandal
snomakeup, andnojewel
s.
Hewor ebl
ueshort
s,Adi
dassandal
sandwhi t
evest
thenhepackedsomeguns

Me:
"i
sthatnecessar
y"?
Hi
m:"y
ounev
erknow,
prepar
efort
hewor
statal
l
t
imes"

Ideci
dednott
osayanythi
ngfurt
her,whenwewer e
donewewentdownstai
rsandmett heothers,
Iwent
tohugmybrot
hersancokol
anjeethenwhen
every
oneel
sewaspresentwegotinsidethecars
andheadedt
othebeach.

Wegotcr
azy
..
.hadf
un.
..
.
Iwant edt obuysani tarypadscozIsuspect edthat
myt imewasnear ersoIaskedbaef ormoney
wandi nika.Imusthav ewalkedjusttwokilometers
awayf r
om t hem whenIf el
tasharpandst rongtug
aroundmyar m Ilookedupandsawf ourguys,
they
didn'tgivemeachance, whentheyreali
zedIsaw
theirfacest heyinjectedmewi t
hsomet hi
ngand
carriedmet otheircar .
Iwasout
..
.
Butnotf
ort
ool
ong.

WhenIwokeupIwast iedont
oachair,
botharms
andlegs,
Ilookedaroundandt heent
ir
eroom was
pi
tchblack.Ipani
cked.Lawei.ThenIhear
dv oi
ces
comingtowardsther oom Iwasin
Theyopenedandswi
tchedontheli
ght
,nowIcoul
d
seethem pr
oper
lywi
thoutmasks

Icaughtt
heirnamesbrief
ly,
theonewhospoket
o
mewasS' gcebhezana,
tal
landhandsomeendaweni
yakhe

Hi
m:"awsemhlemansweetness,
yazay
ikuf
anel
anga
l
ent
oy ot
handananoBeast
"
Me:
'
'whatam Idoi
ngher
e"
Him:"
whatareyoudoi
nghere?Wel
lIdon'
t
know..
.butI
'
m sur
ewe'l
lknowsoonenough"

Ndat
hul
a
Iwasafrai
dneh,
Iknewt hatt
hiswasnowt hereal
it
y
ofagangstasl
if
e,andfr
om whatIreadbackthen
youcan'
tshowthem you'r
eafrai
d,youcannotaff
ord
todothat.
Thi
sguywasmov
ingar
oundt
alki
ngonphonef
ora
veryl
ongtimet hentheyl eftmeandlockedthedoor
.
Idi
dasi l
entprayer,
Ididn'thavemyphoneswi thme.
Howt hehell
willNtandoknowI 'mintr
ouble?I
wantedtocrybutsomet hinginmedidn'twantmeto
sondahlal
anjaloandwai ted.Kant
indi
yendalal
a
kokokuli
nda
Ifel
tasharpstingonmyl eftcheekndothukaand
openedmyey es,t
hisguywassl appi
ngme.Not
S'
gcebhezana,anolderguy.Alsohandsomei nhi
s
ownplace.

Hi
m:"
heybeaut
if
ul"
Me:
"wast
hatnecessar
y"?
Hi
m:"
aah,
cheekyt
oo"
Me:
"whyam Iher
e"?
Hi
m:"
you'
reher
ebecause.
..Wewanty
out
obeher
e"

Ndathul
a.Iwant
edtodrawi skhohl
eladeepdown
andspitonhi
sfacebutIheldmy sel
f.I
'm al
ady,
i
n
anysit
uati
onImustshowt hat.I
fKupossibl
e.
Him:"
lemmeintr
oducemysel
f,I
'
m sur
eyou'
vehear
d
aboutme.NdinguBraKi
l
lakenontombi
"
Me:
"youdol
ookl
i
keaki
l
ler
"
Him:"
that'
scozI'
veki
l
ledmanypeopl
e,
Ican'
tev
en
countthem onmyfi
ngers"
Me:
"am Isupposedt
ocongr
atul
atey
ou"
?
Hi
m:"
nont
ombi
,cheekdoesn'
twor
kwi
thme"
Me:
"Iguesssar
casm does"

Wat hul
a..
.heturnedsl
owl
yandthengav
emea
backslap,bl
oodst r
eamedfr
om mynoseandt
ear
s
fol
lowed.Wahl eka

Hi
m:"
you'
renotsost
ronghuh"
?

Ikeptqui
et
Him:"
now,Ineedy
ourcooperati
on.But
,It
hinkI
shoul
dleaveyouhereforadayortwo.Justtomake
sureyou'
l
lcooper
atefait
hful
l
y"

Het
apedmyl
i
pswi
tht
hatsi
l
vert
ape
Thenhewal kedout ,Ihear
dhi m pushingbolt
sand
padlocks!Thenther oom wasf il
ledwithdarkness.I
l
ookedupandcr ied...
yhothisInev eri
magined
i
ngenzekanakum y esIknowi thappensbutkum?So
quick?Icri
edmy selft osl
eep.Fol l
owingmor ni
ngI
waswokenupwi t hcoldwat ersplashedonmyf ace
obviousl
ywet t
ingev eryt
hingIhadon. ..
Iopenedmy
eyes.Iwashungr y.

S'
gcewasher ewi
thbr
aKill
aandtwootherguy
s.
Ands'gcecamefor
wardandremovedt
hattapeso
pai
nfull
y.

Him:"acoconutl
i
key
oui susedtot
hosebi
bthi
ngs
I
'm sure,
butnowweain'
tgotti
mefort
hat"
Kil
la:
"Iheary
ourmani
soutandabout
,l
ooki
ngf
or
you.Shameman"

Idi
dn'
twannat
alk.Bandenzei
cheekngal
amanzi
.

Ki
l
la:
"It
hinkweshoul
dcal
lhi
m"

S'
gcedi
aledanumberandputi
tonl
oudspeaker
..
.t
wori
ngsthenheanswer
ed

Beast
:"
hel
l
o"
Ki
l
la:
"ThemeanBeasthi
msel
f,
kunj
anndoda"
Beast
:"
braKi
l
la.Zkhi
phani
tai
ma"
Kil
l
a:"
aah,
respect
fulasalways.Hehndoda,
Ihav
e
somethi
ngy oumightl
iketohearher
e"
Beast
:"
real
l
y"
Ki
l
la:
"hm,
j
ustl
i
sten"
Thent heybroughtthephonenear
erformet ospeak
ndathulayazmna, s'
gcesl
appedme,Ijustl
etmy
tear
sf lowwithoutasound.

Ki
l
la:
"wow.
..
thi
sismor
eenj
oyabl
ethanIpl
anned"
Beast
:"
whati
s"
Kil
l
a:"
justgi
mmeaf ewminut
esskeem,
ndi
funa
uzi
vel
eungav i
ngobal
i
sel
wa"

Oneofthetwoguy scamecl oserwit

hanelect
roni
c
shocker
,andshockedmeont heri
bsIscr
eamedy ho
waphambanauNt andoonthephone,nowIver
ball
y
cri
ed.Thatshi
tispainf
ul.

Beast
:"
baby
?Li
stent
ome.
..
cal
m downandl
i
stent
o
me"
Iwasst
il
lcr
yingbuti
nat
ir
edl
owv
oice

Ki
l
la:
"ah!St
ri
kesaner
vehuh"
?
Beast
:"br
aKi
l
lawhatareyoupl
ayi
ngat?Wenzan
groot
man?Uzoy
pasalewayuyqal
ayo"
?
Kil
la:"
ndi
yi
qal
ayo?I
'
m mer
elyconti
nuingwher
eyou
l
eftofmyman.Seehowsweety ourownmeds
taste"
Beast
:"
baby
"
Me:
"mh"
Beast
:"
I'
ll
gety
ououtoft
her
eokay
?Ipr
omi
se"

Ki
ll
a:"
don'
tmakepr
omi
sesy
ouknowy
oucan'
tful
fi
ll
ny
ana"
Beast
:"
braKi
l
la.
..We'
l
ltal
ksomeot
hert
imeneh"

Hehungup

Kil
l
awatshongesi
qhazolosent
sini
sana.Myenti
re
bodywasnowpainful
.I'
vebeenonthi
schai
rforful
l
24hour
s,wi
thoutf
oodorblanket
s..
.Yho.
[
10/
10,
19:
05]‪+27730692704‬:
#224

Ther
ewereshut
teri
ngsoutsidebutIcoul
dn'
tmake
outwhatwasr
eall
yhappening.

Kil
l
a:"
nana,we'
ll
leav
eyouf orafewhour
s,someofus
havereal
wor kt
ogetto,
realbossest
oreportt
o"
S'
gce:
"t
ape"
?
Ki
l
la:
"doubl
eit
"

Nyhani s'
gcedi dashewasi nstruct
ed.Tapedme
t
wot imesandt hentheyleft
,Icl
osedmyey esandl
et
t
hey earsflowt i
rel
esslyhowIwi shedIwasn' t
t
ied,
may beikhonaintoebendinoyenza:(butnowI
wasst uckont othi
swel dedtothefloorchair
.

*
*Nt
ando'
sPOV*
*
Icountedtheminutesitusual
l
ytakessomeoneto
goandbuyany t
hingf
rom theshopsandsomethi
ng
wasn'taddingup

Me:
"Gudda"
Hi
m:"
groot
man"
Me:
"khaj
ongeuS'
bongi
l
ebauphi
kudal
aemnki
l
e"
Hi
m:"
shot
a"

Guddawal kedtotheshopsandcal ledme

akamf umani .Atfi
rstIthoughtShe'sononeofher
tri
cksbutmygutf eel i
ngwasn' tonagreementsoI
call
edaf ewf av
oursf r
om af ewpeoplet henIhear
d
thatshewasseencar riedbytwomani ntobr
aKill
a's
warehousedownt ownsobyt heti
meKi ll
acall
ed
me,Ialreadyknewt hathehadherandIwaspl anning
myexpl osiononhi m. .
.onethatwon'thurther
.

Hear
inghercr
ysti
rr
edthebeastdeepdowninme,
I
want
edtoroarbuti
twasn'
ttheri
ghtti
me.God
knowsIdon' tl
ikehear i
ngnorseei nghercr y
,ithurts
me.Di f
fer
encet odaywast hatIwasn'thurt,
Iwas
angryatmy sel
ff ornotprotectingherli
keIpr omi sed.
Iwasangr ycozIknewshewi l
lnotcooperatewi th
them andthatcoul dleadhert oevenmor edanger
thanshealreadyi sandthatal onemeantt hatI
shouldactfast,
thisismywi f
ewe' retal
ki
ngabout .
Notjustafami l
ymember ,no,she'
smyf uturesot he
thoughtofwhatt heycoulddot oherwasj ust
disgust
ingandnotv erysettl
ingwithme.St ru'bob.

*
***
***
*

Ithi
nkIdozedof font hatchair,
thinki
ngabout
bae,mybrothers,
mysi stersandmostofal lastrange
thoughtoccurredorrathercrossedmymi nd:who's
mydad?Wher eishe?Whyi shenotev enat t
empt i
ng
tosearchformeoram Inott hati mportant?These
thoughtscrowdedmymi ndI'
mt elli
ngyou.Byt he
ti
met heguy scamebackt heybr oughtmef ood,bra
Kil
lawasn'twiththem,itwast hoset woguy swith
S'
gcebhezana

Hi
m:"
Nkwer
aunt
ieonehandazot
ya"

Hedi
dasinstr
uct
edthent
heyputaboxofKFCmeal
onmylap,
Il
ookedati
tandbackatt
hem

S'
gce:
"i
tsnotspi
ked,
i
tya"
Me:
"howwi
l
lIknowy
ou'
ret
ell
i
ngmet
het
rut
h"
Hi
m:"
wedon'
twannaki
l
lyou,y
oumeannothingt
ous
t
heonl
yper
sonwewantisyourboy
fri
end"
Me:
"t
henwhatam Idoi
ngher
e"?
Hi
m:"
weknowhe'
l
lcomel
ooki
ngf
ory
ou"
Me:"
andify
oukil
lmeorpoisonmehe'
l
lcomer
ight
af
teryounj
eit
sthesamething"

Hestoppedwhathewasdoi
ngattheot
herendof
t
heroom andcametokneel
inf
rontofme,
hetook
onepiece,
broket
hebr
eadi
nhal
fwanci
ndakul
a
grav
ywat y
a

Him:"i
fwewantedt ohur
tyouwewould'v
edonethat
alr
eady..
.Umhl
e,sexyandwehaveal
laccessto
you,t
odowhateverwewannadowi t
hy ou"

Idon'twannalieIdidn'
texpectthat,
hewasni cer
todayIdon'tknowwhy .Andit'
st r
ue,i
ftheywanted
tohurtmet heyhadal l
thechancet heyneededbut
theydidn'
t.Theyjustmadesur endiyat
ya..
.st
range.
Huh?

Me:
"youseem smar
tert
hany
ourr
eal
i
ty"
Hi
m:"
you'
rehungr
y.Eat
"

Thenhel eftmethere.Ndazi
ncamandatya.WhenI
wasfinishedhebroughtmeaseal edbott
leofwat
er
ndaselathenhetiedmeupagai n.Baphi
nda
bahamba.
[
10/
10,
19:
05]‪+27730692704‬:
#225

*
**Nt
ando*
**

Gat
her i
ngthet
eam meantt
hatIhavet
otell
Marc'O'
Pol
oevery
thi
ngandknowinghi
mv erywel
l
,he
di
dn'tsaymuch.
Whenhe' sfuri
ous,hedoesn'tsayalotsoIknewt hat
hewasl i
vidkwaubaav eleathiOKandt henleave
mest andi
ngt here.Iknowndim oberongo,hedid
statehi
sconcer nswhenIst art
eddatinghissist
er
andnowal lhehadt osaywas" It
oldyouso"but
beingaSmi th,he'
dnev ersaythatst
raightfor
ward.

Ical
l
edthewholegangcozwehadtost r
ategi
zeon
anatt
ack..
.anat
tackt
hatwoul
dn'
tendangeru
S'
bongil
e.

Me:
"ar
eweal
lher
e"
Ranger
:"
kushot
auTul
zta"
Me:
"uphi
"

Tul
zwal
kedi
n..
.

Hi
m:"
ndi
mloh"

Iclear
edmyt hr
oatasMar crol
ledoutt
heplanf
or
thewarehouseandpinneditonallf
our
sthenhe
mov edasi
de

Me:"
Gent
s.BraKi
llai
sontous.Nowi
sourt i
met o
st
rat
egi
zeproper
lyandi
nacleanwayifpossi
ble"
Gudda:
"br
aKi
l
lauphi
ndal
awarnagr
oot
man"
Ranger:
"seemsli
keit
,butnowwe' r
ecall
i
ngonall
our
guysforbackup.PEandDur banwill
beher
etoni
ght
onl
yJozi andZi
m wil
l beher
et omorr
ow"
Tul
z:
"kant
iwhenar
ewest
ri
ki
ng"
?
Mar
c:"
that
'snoti
mpor
tantr
ightnow"
Ranger
:"
fi
rstweneedast
rat
egygent
s"

Kwat
hicwaka.

Me:"I
'ml
ocat
ingt
woguy sf
rom Jo'
bur
g,twof
rom
Durbanwi
thyouRanger
.Twofrom Zi
m,t
wofrom PE
wit
hGudda."
Tul
z:
"me"
?
Me:
"you'
regoi
ngwi
thMar
cusandt
hreeguy
sfr
om
Mal
awi"
Tul
z:
"ohokay
"
Mar
c:"
I'
m goi
ngal
one"

Il
ookedathi
m..
.

Me:
"excuseme"
?
Mar
c:"
Idon'
tneedbackup,
I
'l
lgoal
oney
oucant
ake
t
her
estofev
ery
onewi
thy
ou"
Me:
"l
astt
imeIcheckedIgav
eor
der
sar
oundher
e"
Mar
c:"
I'
m sur
ewe'
real
lawar
eoft
hat
"
Me:
"t
heny
oushoul
dal
ldoasIsay
"
Mar
c:"
you'
renott
alki
ngt
omer
ightnow"

Waphakamawaphuma
Iswal
l
owed.

Me:
"gent
s..
thi
sist
hepl
an"
*
**

Whent heycamebackt heyweremor ethanten.

..
all
dressedi nblackandt heysetoutsomet hi
ngonthe
table,
somet hinglikeamapbat hethapit
ytheywerea
distanceawayf rom mesowhatt heywer e
discussingwasv agueinmyear s.Theyspentabout
fourhour stalki
ng,argui
ngandthenf i
veleft
kwashi
yekaenyeifi
vewhoweresupposedl
yther
eto
guar
dmei ncl
udingabos'
gceke.
Isatt
her
ethi
nki
ngaboutev
ery
thi
ng.
IwonderedwhatMarcwasdoing,
howhef el
t.Luke?
Havetheytol
dEveandKeri?Howwerethey?I'
m
sur
etheywon'tt
ell
mom. .
.heeehasdadwokenup
maybe?Mxm.

S'
gce:
"nont
ombi
"

Il
ookedupathi
m

Him:"
Ithinkitwi
ll
bebesti
fIgiv
ey ouasedat
ive.
You'r
etooy oungtoseewhatwe'
reaboutt
odoi n
thi
splace"
Me:
"what
every
ousay
"
Him:"
ndincedananawekeapha,
I
'm sur
eyouhav
en'
t
seenyourmani nact
ion"
Ndamj
onganj
ee.
Oneot
herguyt
oldhim nott
ogiv
eme,
I'
m cheekyand
for
war
dblahbl
ahblah!Haynay
ewahl
ala.

Thatdayendedkungenzekangant o,
fol
lowingday
too.Thi
rdday,t
heganghadaf eastdayatt he
warehouse,
celebrati
ngsomet hing.Kill
awashi gh
evha?Veryhigh.Cloud15hi ghev uzanezinkcwe.He
l
eftthegroupandcamet owher eIwast i
ed,came
withasmokingokapi pehepulledachai randsat
ri
ghtinfr
ontofmebl abber
ingenukaphuquut y
wala

Him:
"yabonanont
ombi
..
.Si
ziboss!Notbyname,
but
byact
ions"

Ij
ustl
ookedathi
m,Ihadn'
teat
ent
oday
.Not
hingat
al
l.

Him:
"yourmant houghthecanbeatusatourown
game.
..hahaha!Mxm imuncukanj
anlalai
ti
e.Youdo
l
ookbor
edt
hough.
..
khat
sal
eapha"
Me:
"uphambene"

Wahl
ekaandst oodup,
camecl oserwi
ththatt
hing
hewassmoki ngandheforcediti
ntomymout h,
I
wascry
ing,
kicki
ngbutinvaincozevent
uall
ythe
smokedidentermylungsthenIcoughedupinpain
asi
tpenetr
ated

Hi
m:"
uzabast
rongol
i
key
ourbr
other
,ay
iwi
landoda"

Haikendavel
andatshayaqhaqwaba.:'
(ukuqhunywa
okungakokesanacoztheymixeddaggawiththe
fl
avourszi
kbethaufl
oat'
eabovesurf
ace.
[
10/
10,
19:
06]‪+27730692704‬:
#226

Jonga,
phaaaebusukuIwokeup,
cabaIhaddozed
offndi
qhunyi
we.
WhenIwokeup,
thehousewasf
ull
.Notj
ustf
ull
..
.I
sawMar cusashewascomi ngnearerIi
mmedi atel
y
cri
edneh,butwi t
houtv oi
cecozwhenhesawt hatI
sawhim hesi gnaledthatIshouldkeepquietsoI
j
ustclosedmyey es.Her eachedmeandunt iedme
fr
om thechair..
.hescoopedmeupandcar ri
edme
outsi
de,wal
kingov erdeadbodi esphof.When
outsi
de..
.Kil
lawasal readywai t
ingwithagun

Ki
l
la:
"Mar
c'O'
Pol
o,mymy
..
.y
ouknownoboundar
ies"

Marcdi
dn'
tsayaword,
hej
ustt
ight
enedhi
sgr
ip
ar
oundmyhungoverbody
.

Kil
l
a:"Idon'
twannakil
lyou,
youknowIhav
enot
hing
againstyou.Putt
hegir
ldownandleav
e"
Mar
c:"
putt
hegundown"
Ki
l
la:
"putt
hegi
rldownMar
cus"
Mar
c:"
Theonl
ywayshe'
sgoi
ngdowni
sify
oushoot
me"
Ki
l
la:
"t
hat
'seasy
"
Mar
c:"
andi
fyoushootme,
bet
termakesur
eyouki
l
l
me"

Thentherewast hi
sawkwardsilence.Iwas
mumbl i
ng,Iwant
edt ot
ellMarcIwasaboutt ov
omi
t
butIcoul
dn'tsaytheexactwords,
myspeechwas
twi
sted.

Iheardagunlocki
ng,
ndatsi
baandf el
lontheground
ndakhuphakabuhl
uuungu,
thewstoodther
ewat chi
ng
me.WhenIwasdoneMar cextendedahand,Itookit
gotupwipingmymout handlookedatKil
lasti
llwit
h
agunpointedonmybr ot
her,
Mar cuswasn'
tfazed.
Notonebit.

Kil
l
a:"
Allyouhavetodoi
sletthegi
rlgobackwher
e
youfoundher,
I'
l
llety
ougofree"
Mar
c:"
all
youhav
etodoi
stodr
opt
hegun"
"
Hewon'
tdr
opashit!Thatmother
fuckerr
uinedmy
l
i
fe,
nowI
'
m dest
roy
inghersforgood"

Weallt
urnedandsawChumawheel ingher
sel
finon
awheel
chair.Jongakwaphel
anenauseaombona
kwam.IletgoofMarc'
shand,
helookedatmeI
l
ookedatChuma

Ki
l
la:
"wel
lbabygi
rlt
hisi
syourwar
,notmi
neIguess"
Her:
"Si
bongi
l
eTr inali
queSmi t
h.Youthoughtyou
coul
dgetmel ockedupt hateasi
lyhuh?WellItold
you,
andi
yont
angay akho,
nowI'm her
etoshowy ou"

Ismir
ked.Walkedcl
osert
oherandst
oodwi
thmy
handsonbothhips.

Me:
"andIcan'
twai
ttoseewhaty
ouhav
einst
oref
or
me"
Her
:"
car
eful
whaty
ouwi
shf
or,
Ntandoi
snother
eto
rescueyouandify
ou'
recount
ingonthatwhi
teman
wellyou'
remorest
upi
dthanIthoughtcozni
outnumbered"
Me:"meandyouar enotr
eal
lyoutnumbered..
.That
whi
temanov ertherei
sMarcusandI '
m surehe'
sa
bi
gboy .Hecanhandlehi
mselfquit
ewell.
..BraKil
l
a
am Iri
ght"
?

Wandi
j
ongaakat
het
ha.
Imovedcl
osertoMarcagai
n,
ther
ewasagunIsaw
onhi
sback,
itcoul
dcomeinhandyri
ghtnow.

Me:"
so,
nowthatyouhav
ethepl
atf
ormt
oyour
sel
f.
Sur
pri
seme.Pls"

Sheremovedagunf r
om asideofthechairand
point
edme,r
eadytoshoot.
..
shedidthatveryfasti
t
caughtmebysurpr
isenyhani.
"
It
sveryr
udet
onotinv
itey
ourmat
eswhenf
east
ing
y
ayazi
mosbraKi
ll
a"

Il
ookedup,Ntandowast her
eleani
ngont hedoor
ephol
ekumi ndmt chanam.Ifel
tabitofconf
idence
kengok.NotthatIdoubtedMarc.

Ki
ll
a:"
fi
nall
yyoudeci
detojoi
nus,
ohwai
t,
youwer
e
st
il
lnursi
ngyourwounds"
Beast
:"
youwoul
dknowbet
ter
"

Thenhewal kedin.Kil
lashif
tedandstoodatabitof
adist
ance,nowpoi nt
ingthegunfrom MarctoBeast
okoesenzalooup- and-down.Thedoorbehi
ndus
wasclosed.Itwasnowt hr
eeagainstt
wo.

Hecametomeandkissedmyli
ps,
atearlef
tmy
ey
esasIhuggedhi
mt i
ght
ly,
Mar
ckeepinganey
eon
Br
aKil
la.
Chuma:
"yi
kakakel
eni
yenzay
o"

Wei gnor
edher,
shef
ir
edashotanditshott
hrough
tothedoorIj
umpedfrom Nt
andot
oMar cusin
shock!

Kil
la:
"nowthatwe'
reallhere,
l
et'
sset
tl
ethi
sonceand
foral
l.Y'
al
laretr
espassing"
Beast
:"
uci
ngaut
hini
mfomkhul
ungal
ont
o"

Andiyazangakwenzekent oni ni
nithenIheard
fi
reshotsandthenallwentbl ank.Ionlygotbackto
mymi ndswhenIsawmy selfoutside,
Ifel
tingqel
e
andwhenIopenedmyey esIhadbl oodallovermy
cl
othes,butIf
eltnopain.

Me:
"no"
!!
!
Il
ookedar
ound.Akhomnt
u.
[
10/
10,
19:
06]‪+27730692704‬:
#227

Isatupandl ookedar oundnyhanithi

st i
me.What
thehel lhappened?Wher einheavenismybr other
.I
didn'tcareaboutNtandoal lIwantedt oseewasmy
brother ,
asmuchasy earswearthreateni
ngmyey es,
I
crawl edandcr ut
chednear ert
oapol e,toassistme
standi ngup,gr
aduall
yIst oodupandwi pedàt ear
thathadr ol
l
eddown.

Isawagunont hefloor,Ihesit
atedkanci nci but
decidedtotakei tcozIhadnoot herform of
protecti
onngokubesi desit.It
ooki t
,wal
kedoutof
thatareaandlookedar ound.Not hing.Iwal kedback
i
n,itwasdarksoIcoul dn'treal
lyseeany thingbutI
heardal owmoanandmov edtowar dsitsdi r
ecti
on
slowlymakingsur eIdon' tbumpont oany thing.The
mor eIgotclosertot hismoan, t
hemor eIsmel t
Ntando'scologneandt hatalonemademeanxi ous.I
reachedabundl ecuddl edont hef loor,
Ikneltdown
slowl
y,yeahhesur el
ysmeltli
kemymant houghi
t
wasn'thim butwhenIsawt heface:
o..
.Iwentcl
oser
tohisearandwhi spered

Me:
"Mar
cus"
Hemovedjustabi
tandt
ouchedal
lov
er,
Igav
ehi
m
myhand.

Hi
m:"
you'
resaf
e"
Me:"
yes,
where'
sNtando?Ar
ey oubadl
yhur
t?How
canIgethol
dofanambulancehere"
?

Hecoughedupt hr
eeti
mesandstr
uggl
edt
o
br
eath.
..
thenspokeupaft
ersometi
me.

Hi
m:"
don'
twor
ry,
he'
sokay
"
Me:
"you'
rei
npai
n,
weneedadoct
orboet
"
JustthenGuddawal kedi nwi t
ht wopar amedi cs
carr
yingastretchbed/stretcher,
thenfollowedTul z
andanotherteam ofguy s,t
heyputMar c'O'
Pol oina
str
etchbedandwal kedoutwi thhim,Iwasl eftinthat
samespot.Tul zcamet omewi t
habl anket,actual
ly
wandombat hisaumntanabant u,
Iwasshi v
er i
ngcold.

Me:
"Uphi
uNt
ando"

Iaskedthatquest
ioni
naveryl
owvoice.Thul
ani
had
toaskforarepeti
ti
ontwot
imesbef
oreheanswered.

Hi
m:"
he'
l
lbeher
eanymi
nut
enow"

Ij
ustwal
kedintoacornerandsatdown,cuddl
i
ng
mysel
fwit
hthisbl
anket.Ihadnotears,
Ij
ustwant
ed
abubbl
ebathandawar m bed.That
'sall
.

Af
teraf
ewmi
nut
esr
eal
l
yNt
andomusthav
ecal
l
ed
them theyt oldmet ogo,Ididn'tmove.Oneguy
CAMEt ome, Istil
ldidn'
tmov e.WhenIhear dthem
whisperingbazobi zaubosswaboazondi that
ha
ngokwakhecozt heyhadnoot heroptionsIslowl y
stoodupanwal kedr i
ghtbehindthem.Whenwe
wereout sidewemetNt andoont heway ,
hedi dn'
t
sayawor d,hejustcamet ohugmet i
ght l
yand
walkedmet othecar ,
wegoti nanddr ovehome.
Home?NoImeant ,
hishouse.Whenwer eached
therehewentt orunmeabat hasIundr essed, no
onei ssayingany thingasy et
.WhenIwasdone
undressingIwal kedonov ertothebat hroom
ndangenaandsoakedmy sel
fin..
.magnificentscents
thathemi xed.Icl osedmyey esandsi ghed.Di dal
l
ofthisreallyhappen?Yho.

Hewal
kedi
n,
wear
ingboxer
sonl
y.

Hi
m:"
ist
hewat
erst
il
lfi
nebabe"
Me:
"cany
ouj
oinme"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
takeashower
,youcant
akeal
lthet
imey
ou
need"

Ihadal
umpinmyt
hroat
,abi
goneandal
lIneeded
wasahug.

Me:"
Idon'
tneedt
i-
..
..
babeIdon'
tneedt
imebabeI
needyout
oholdme"

Wi
thoutf
urt
herr
e-duehej
oinedme.

Hesatbehi
ndmeandIlaymyheadonhi schestnot
mindi
ngthewateronmyhai
rcozallIneededwast o
belov
ed,
huggedandmaybeappreci
ated.

Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
ry"

Iclosedmyey
esandal
l
owedthetearst
oleav
emy
eyes.Thel
umpwasget
ti
ngbi
tterandbi
ggeri
nmy
thr
oat ,
myheartwast oopainful.I
tbrokei
nto
two...
butIwasr eal
lygrat
efulthatGodneveral
l
owed
anythingworset ohappenotherthanthesmoking
andt hefi
rst
-handgangstaexper i
ence.
[
10/
10,
19:
06]‪+27730692704‬:
#228

Iwant
edy
orespondt
ohi
m butIcoul
dn'
t.
Heallowedmetocry
,hej
usthuggedmetighter
ki
ssingmyneckfr
om behi
nd.Icri
edunt
ilIf
eltsome
weightl
if
ti
ngof
fmyshoulder
s,unt
ilt
hewaterwas
col
d.

Hi
m:"
you'
l
lcat
chaf
lu,
l
et'
sgetoutoft
hewat
er"

Hegotupf
ir
st.
Ifol
lowedwi t
houtut
teri
nganywor d.Idr
iedmyself
andlefthi
m ndayaeroomin.Il
oti
onedandwor ePJs
thenIgotinbedandcov er
edmyhead.Idon' tknow
whatthetimeis,
wheremyphonesar eorwhatdayit
i
s.Ijustneededtosl
eepandmay bewakeup
sometimewhensomeonewi l
ltel
lmet hisi
salla
dream.Thiswasallabadni
ghtmare.Ifel
tthebed
mov e,
Iknewhewant edt
osaysomet hi
ngbutIdidn'
t
wannat al
k..
.Notnow.
Hespendawhol
emi
nut
ejustsi
tt
ingt
her
e..
.

Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"hm"
Hi
m:"
I'
mreal
l
ysor
ry"
Me:
"mh"
Hi
m:"
youdon'
twannat
alkt
omengoku"
Me:
'
hm.
mh"
Him:"
okay
.I'l
lmakey
ouf
oodndi
kyekeul
aleogqi
ba
kwakhoutya"
Me:
"I
'm nothungr
ybabe"
Hi
m:'
'
youhav
etoeat
,ory
ou'
l
lbedehy
drat
ed"
Me:
"Isai
dId-
"
Hi
m:"
Iunder
stand.Buty
ouhav
etot
ry,
nobai
tsone
sl
i
ceofbr
eadoray
oghur
t.Pl
s"

Ikeptqui
et.
Whyi
sheshout
ingkengok?

Hel ef
tthebedandwentdownst airs.If
ellasleep.
Obv i
ouslyreliv
ingt hetrauma, Ijumpedoutofbed
whenIsawKi l
laint hi
sdr eam poi ntingagunand
fi
ri
ngst r
aightt omyhear t.Iwokeupcoughi ng...
unti
l
Icoughedupbl oodIr ant othebat hroom,and
vomi t
edbl oodcl otssopai nfully.Hewal kedinand
gavemewat er,
hewasn' tpani cking,yamazuNt ando
ngophola?It ooki tandcleanedmy selfup
ndamshi yaphaandwentbackt obedndabona
cereal,
brownbut teredbread, blackcof feeanda
bowl offruitandy ogurtaside.WhenIsawt he
tr
oublehewentt hroughImel tedandsatdownnext
tothetray.Iwi pedmyey es,theywer eteary.He
j
oinedmeandwesati nsi l
ence.
Me:
"t
hanks"
Hi
m:"
don'
t"

Itookthebr
eadndaty
awiththeblackcof
fee.
..
whenI
wasdoneIatetheyoghur
tgqibakwam ndahl
alaand
coveredmywholebodywit
habl anki
e.

Me:
"cany
out
akemet
ogoseeMar
cus"
Hi
m:"
okay
,getdr
essedI
'
llt
akey
ou"

Het ookthetr
ay,
Igotupandsearchedforcl
othes.
Nxibablackski
nnyjeansbl
ackpoloneckandblack
coatandboots.

Her etur
nedandal sogotdressedthenhegav eme
myphones.Il eftt
hem behindasIfollowedhim out
thedoor,i
ntohiscar.Wedrov einsi
lence.Ihad
nothingtosay.IknewwhatIwasget ti
ngmy sel
fint
o
whenIst ar
teddatinghimjustthatIdidn'
tknowhow
quickthisdaywi llcomeandhowbadi twouldbe,if
onlyIcouldj ust.
..Idon'tknow,showhi mt hatIdon'
t
reall
yblamehi m asmuchasIwoul dwantt o.Iknew
thatheexpect edmet opushhi m away ,t
hrow
tantr
ums, beadr amaqueenaboutal l
oft hisbutthey
didn'
treachmyexpect ationsintortur
eandal lt
hat
stuff
.Yesi twaspai nf
ul whent heythrewmewi th
coldwat er,
theslapsandev er
ythingbutIt hankGodI
wasn'tgangr aped,thatIwasdr ugged. .
yesIsmoked
butIwasn' tdruggedt ot heextremes.

Hi
m:"
we'
reher
e"

Ndot
hukesesi
fi
ki
le.
Ifol
lowedashewal kedoutofthecar,helockedi t
andwalkedbesi desmeasweent eredapl acethat
l
ookedl i
keasaf ehousebutsurelynotanythinglikea
hospit
al.Iwalkedbehindhim,heopenedt hreethick
brownancientdoor sandthenthelastonewasj usta
thi
ckglassdoorsangena,IsmeltMar c'sscent
i
mmedi atelyandwhenIhadwal kedincompl etel
yI
sawhi
m,hewaseat
ingNando'
s:v:
vwi
thRangerand
oneot
herguy
.

Hi
m:"
heeey
,l
ookwho'
sher
e.Mi
ssedme"
?

Igav
e"t
he"l
ook.
Hegotupandthenwehugged.Hepul
ledmet osi
t
downnextt
ohimthenheoffer
edmefood,Ij
ust
shookmyheadandrest
editonhi
sshoulder
.

Hest
oppedeat
ingandl
ookedatme

Hi
m:"
youokay
"?
Inod

Hi
m:"
arey
ousur
e"?
Beast
:"
Ranger
,cummonl
et'
sgi
vet
hem somespace"
Withoutsay
ingany
thi
ngt
heyfol
l
owedhi
m out
.Iwas
l
eftwithMarcwhowasst
il
lnotr
eal
l
ysur
eifI'
m okay
orwhat.

Hi
m:"
whatdi
dtheydot
oyou?Wer
eyouhur
t"
?
Me:
"I
'mf
ine,
I
'mj
ustexhaust
edbr
o"
Hi
m: "
yousur
e,t
heynev
ert
ouchedy
ouoranysnar
ks
t
hings"
Me:
"Mar
cusIwasn'
trapedokay
,chi
l
l"
Hi
m:"ooh.Youshoul
dhav
erest
edt
hough.Don'
tyou
wannaseeadoctor"
?
Me:
"noI
'
m cool
,
Iwasj
ustwor
ri
edabouty
ou"
Hi
m:"
ohI
'
mfi
ne,
don'
tst
ressy
our
sel
f"
Me:
"t
hewound"
?
Him:
"thebul
l
etwasr emovedthatsamedayIwas
j
ustnursi
ngmysel
fy ouknow,andthebenef
it
sof
havi
ngmybossdatingmysi steri
swhatIhavei
n
fr
ontofme"
Ir
oll
edmyey
esathi
m,hewasj
oki
ngof
coz.
[
10/
10,
19:
06]‪+27730692704‬:
#229

Wej ustcaughtupandIwast hankfulthathedidn'

t
tel
lourothersibl
i
ngsaboutthisordeal.Nt ando
camebackwi t
hhisguysandIwasl aughingand
j
okingwi t
hmybr other
.

Hi
m:"
babe,
weshoul
dgetgoi
ng"
Me:
"oh,
sosoon"
Him:
"t
here'
sacoupl
eofthi
ngst
heguy
sneedt
odo,
I
canbr
ingyouagai
nngomso"
Me:
"oh"

NdaphakamaandhuggedMar custhenfol
l
owed
Ntandotothecar.Therideagainwasaqui etone.
Wazincamawat hethacozIdidn'tknowhowt ostar
t
t
heconv er
sati
on...Sur
prisi
ngl
y.
Hi
m:"
Nal
i
que"
Me:
"babe"
Hi
m:"
tal
ktome"
Me:
"aboutwhat
"?
Hi
m:"
any
thi
ng,
ever
ythi
ngf
ort
hatmat
ter
"

Me:
"t
her
e'snot
hingt
otal
kabout
"

Hedr
ove

Him:"
usure?Imean, I
'
m surether
e'sal
ott
hat
happenedthesepastfewdays.Akhont
onyhani
ofunaundi
xelel
ayona"
Me:
"l
ikewhatNt
ando"
Him:"
andazkal
ok,
whatt
heydi
dtoyou.Howyoufeel
.
BabeIwanttoseeanemot
ionnott
hissi
l
enceyou'
re
gi
vingme"
Il
ookedaway
.
Iunder
stoodwhathewassay i
ng,
wherehewas
comingfrom.Justt
hatIwasn'
tsur
eifIr
eal
ly
wantedtotal
kjusty
et.

Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:"
theydi
dn'
ttor
tur
emei
fthat
'swhaty
ouwanna
know"

Hi
m:"
okay
,goon"
Me:"goon?NtandoI'
m notmadaty ouokay.Now
canwepl sj
ustdropthi
sthi
ng.Idon'twannatal
k
aboutit
"
Hi
m:"
butt
hat
'sunf
airy
ouknow"
Me:
"ohpl
ease"
Him:"
allIwannaknowi swhathappenedinther
eso
t
hatIcanhel pyou.I
sthattoomucht oask?Just
yourcooperati
onthat
'sal
lIneedri
ghtnow"
Me:
"f
ine!Youwannaknow?Iwassl
appedcount
less
ti
me, t
hrownwi thcoldwaterattimes.Iwasdrugged
tosleepNt ando,Iwasfor
cedtosmokeweedand
whatev erel
seIsmoked.Fi ne,
thereyouhaveit
.What
elsedoy ouwantt oknow?Whatf oodIate?Di
dIeat
atall
?Di dIbathmay be?Whatel seke"?

Wat
hul
a.
Icr
iedemv
akoko.
We'r
estil
linacar,Icr
ied.Somuchthatevennow
rememberingthesethingsseemedsofreshand
hurt
ful
alloveragain.
Wer eachedt hehouseIgotoutf i
rst,
hef ol
lowedand
openedt hedoor ,Iwalkedtothebat hroom and
l
ockedmy sel
finside.Ifel
tbadf orshout i
ngathi m,I
real
lydid.Itwasn' tmyi nt
enti
on,buthej ustpersist
ed
onknowi ngkant iIwasgonnat ellhi
m ev erythi
ng
whenI '
ver estedenoughandmay beaccept edand
comet or eali
tywi thmynewl i
fest
y l
e.Hekepton
knockingandknocki ngunt i
lhegav eupnam Igotup
andf i
xedmy selfthenndaphuma.Hi sheadwas
buri
edbet weenhi shands,Isatnexttohi m and
t
ouchedhi
sshoul
der

Me:
"babe"
Helookedup,
hewasst
ressedhi
sey
eswer
e
bl
oodshotred

Me:
"I
'm sor
ry.Idi
dn'
tmeant
olashoutony
ou"
Hi
m:"Iunder
stand,
I'
m sor
ryy
ouhadt
ogot
hrough
al
lofthat
"
Me:
"I
'm her
enowar
en'
tI?Don'
tki
l
lyour
sel
f.I
tsov
er"
Hi
m:"
ithur
tsy
ouknow"
me:
"I'
m sor
ry"

Itookhishandstomyown, l
ookedhimintheeyeand
sawt hehurt
.itpai
nedmemor ethanwhathappened
atthewarehouse.Ithrewmyar msaroundhisneck
andhuggedhi m.Sot i
ght.
[
10/
10,
19:
07]‪+27730692704‬:
#230
Wehuggedf
orani
ntensemi
nut
e.
Ir
etr
act
edandl
ookedathi
m,hi
svei
nsal
lvi
si
ble.

Me:"
Ilov
ey ouokay
,Ir
eal
l
ydo.Idon'
tseeanyf
utur
e
wi
thoutyoucozyoucomplet
eme"

Hel
ookedatmeandsmi
l
edf
aint
ly.

Hi
m:"howdoyoukeept
hisposi
ti
veat
ti
tudet
hrough
ev
ery
t hi
ngy
ou'
vebeent
hrough"
Me:"
Iknewei
thery
ouorMar
cwi
l
lcome,
nobani
ze
ni
ni"
Hi
m:"
wer
en'
tyouscar
ed"
Me:"Iwas,
butIkeptfai
th.Idon'
tknowwhy,orhow
butIknewy ouwouldn'
tletmestayther
eforever
.I
j
ustknewy ou'
llcomethroughforme"
Heki
ssedmyf
orehead.
Iki
ssedhi
sli
ps

Wekissesforawhi l
ethenIletgoofhi
m,notr
eal
l
y
surpr
isedt
hatnguy eohl
ukumezekemor et
hanme
butasthe"Beast
"kemel eabestr
ongmoscoznam I
fi
ndmyst r
engthfrom hi
m attimes.

Me:
"sowhatnow"
Him:
"It
houghtyoumightwantpr
ofessi
onal
hel
pto
deal
withever
ythi
ng"
Me:
"noI
'
mfi
ne,
orI
'
llbef
inegi
vent
ime"
Hi
m:"babey
oucan'
treal
l
ypusht
heset
hingsasi
de
f
orev
eruyayazl
ont
oneh"
Me:
"Iknow,
I
'l
ldeal
wit
hthi
smyownway
.Ipr
omi
se"
Hi
m:"
tal
kwheny
ouneedt
o"
Me:
"yessi
r"
Henudgedmewit
hhi
sel
bowandsai
d:"
you'
rev
ery
st
rongkodwa"
Il
aughed.
Yeahwel
l
...
I'
vegotst
rongbl
oodnam ndazi
bona.

Hi
m:"
whatdoy
ouwannaeat
"?
Me:
"I
'm nothungr
y"
Hi
m:"
awf
uni
nepor
k?Mar
inat
edandBr
aai
d"?
Me:"
ha.anaandi
naappet
it
eman,
buty
oucaneati
f
you'
rehungr
y"
Hi
m:"
ndi
zot
yaxausi
tyaf
ondi
n"

LolIr
emov edmyshoesandgotinbedwit
hmy
phones.
..
whil
ebrowsi
ng,Ir
ememberedt
hatChuma
wasalsothereo.
Obutwhathappenedt
oher?
Where'
sKill
aandhispeopl
e?

Me:
"babewhathappenedt
oChumaandbr
aKi
l
la"
?
Him:
"youshotKil
lawi
thMarc'
O'Pol
o'
sgun,
Chuma
andmazuphelel
ephibutsheal
sogotshot
somehow"
Me:
"whatdoy
oumeani
shotKi
l
la"
?
Hi
m:"
exact
lyt
hatbabe"
Me:
"i
shedead?Ohhel
lnaw"
!
Hi
m: "
somet
hingl
iket
hat.
..
hav
ey oucal
ledy
our
si
ster
s?Ker
ihasbeencal
li
ngekubuza"

JongaIwasonl
ybegi
nni
ngt
ohav
etr
aumanow.

Isatupandlookedathim,
hewasbusyonhisphone
pret
endi
ngthatI'
m notheret
houghIknewhewas
watchi
ngmewi thacornerofhi
seye.

Me:
'
'babel
ookatme"
Hi
m:"
sup"
Me:
"yout
rynat
ell
meI
'
m amur
der
er"
Him:
"noman,notl
ikethat.Babeyou'
renomurder
er
okay
,i
twasjustasit
uationandit
ssomet hi
ngyou
hadtodo"
Me:
"babeno!No!No.
..Idi
dn'
tki
l
laman.Notme"

Heputhi
sphonesdownandt
ookmyhands
wandi
j
onga

Me:
"I
'm not
hingl
essf
rom Chuma"
Him:
"you'
renother
,not
hingl
ikeher
.Il
ovey
oubaby
andnothi
ngwill
changethat
"
Me:"
baby.
..
whathappenedaft
ert
hat
?Am Igonnabe
ar
rest
ed?Ohmygosh.Ikill
edaman"

Igotupandpacedupanddown.
Iwassweat
ingpr
ofusel
y.
Iwasnervousyaz,
cozIwascuri
ouswhathappened
tot
hebodyt houghndi
sazi
thatt
hey'
veprobabl
y
demol
ishedit.
Hi
m:"
babei
zapha"

Iwal
kedt
ohi
m
Isatdownonhi
slapf
aci
nghi
m

Me:
"babyt
ell
met
hisi
saj
oke"

Heki
ssedmynose
Thenmyl
i
pset
hecwaka

Me:
"t
aBeast
"
Him:
"i
tdoesn'
tmatt
er,
whatmatter
sisthaty
ou'
re
homesafeandsound.Li
fegoeson,
ri
ght"
?
Me:
"butbabe.
..
"
Him:"
you'
reaful
lmemberoftheteam now.You
passedatestt
hatwasn'
tevenmeantforyouso
pl
easedon'tj
udgeyour
sel
faboutanyt
hingthat
happened.I
twasmeantt
obe"
Me:
"huh"
?

Heki
ssedmeagai
n.

Hi
m:"you'
reMrsBeast
,you'
rest
rongert
hanIt
hought
.
Ir
espectyou"
Me:
"babeI
'
llnev
erf
itkul
ewor
ldy
akhomna"
Him:"youf
itperfect
lyfi
nemyl ove.Butthatbeing
said,
youdon'thavetobeonourdai ly
meet i
ngs,
kodwakenowt hatIknowy ourstrengt
hit
provestomet hatIdidn'
tmakeami st
ake"

Ididn'tknowwhatt osay ...Beastwassl owlyand

surelyturni
ngmei ntohisdesi r
edwi feandsomehow
Iwasn' tsurpr
ised.Iknewsomet i
meagot hati
t
wouldcomet omebei ngpar tofthet eam andIknow
evennowt hattherewillbeat imet hatI'
l
lhavetodo
whatIdi dinmyr i
ghtmi nds..
.ki
llsomeoneand
may bet ort
ureanot her
.Ifitcomesnat ur
all
ytohim
maybeit
'l
lrubof
fonmeast i
megoes:vkodwaI
'
m
scar
ed.I
'
m afrai
dofwhatI
'
llbecome.
[
10/
10,
19:
07]‪+27730692704‬:
#231

TWOWEEKSLATER

Imi
ssedj
obur
gandv
arsi
ty!
Sti
ll
incapeTownIwokeupandr eal
izedthatI
'
m
al
oneinthi
sbigbed,
Iwenttotheshowerandcame
backsatdownlooki
ngmyselfvi
athedressi
ngtabl
e
mirr
or.

Hi
m:"
you'
rebeaut
if
ul"

It
urnedandsmi
l
ed,
hel
ookeddapperman!
Hewalkedi
nandcamet
oki
ssmet
hensatdown
nextt
ome.
Me:
"wher
ewer
eyou"
Hi
m:"
busi
nessmeet
ing.Yourbr
other
'scomi
ngov
er
f
orbr
unch"
Me:
"who'
scooki
ngbr
unchkengok"
Hi
m:"
soncedi
sanakal
ok"
Me:
"hayandi
zoy
enz
amnal
ont
o"
Hi
m:"
andt
hen?What
'
supwi
tht
heat
ti
tude"
Me:
"ndf
unuhambababe"

Wandi
j
onga
Il
ookedbackathi
m

Me:"
Iwannagobackt
oJo'
bur
g.I
'
veov
erst
ayedCT
now"
Him:
"sizohambakalokbutnow,
let
'sgodownst
air
s
andpreparesomething"

Ipout
edandst
art
edl
ooki
ngf
orcl
othest
owear
si
nceIwasst ill
wr appedinabat htowel .If
oundan
oversi
zedteendanx i
bawithjustsli
pper sand
underwearthenwef oll
owedeachot herdownst air
s
whereIbegant hemeal wi
thscrambl edeggswi tha
hi
ntofMay o.Ithinkhewast oastingbr eadonthe
othersi
deoft hekitchenIwashummi ng"Mocking
bi
rd"byEmi nem Idon'tknowwhy: v.ThenIf el
this
armsaroundmywai standli
psonmyneck.

Me:
"babywehav
etocooky
ouknowt
hatneh"
Hi
m:"
andIneedubabewam nj
e"
Me:
"khay
eket
ana"
Hi
m:"
aki
ssher
e"
Hekissedmyneckt
raci
ngandmaki
ngwayt
omy
l
ips

Me:
"Nt
aaaandost
oppl
s"
Hi
m:"
kodwababe.
..
"
Iremov edhishandsfrom mybodyandputt heegg
i
nt hewar mer.ImadeGr eeksaladinsil
encekengok
Ireall
ydidn'
twannabei nti
mat eIknewhecoul dn'
t
reall
yunderstandbutitgav emethecreepsandnow
i
tr emindedmeoft hatdar kplace.Imadeot her
dishesandhekeptqui eti nhisowncor ner
.WhenI
wasdoneIwentout si
deandy hoitwascold!Cape
Townhasnomer cy,
whi l
ei nsi
deIthoughtkushushu
cozKuwar my ou'
dnev erguess.

Iwalkedbacki nsideandst rai

ghtupst airsndafika
ndakhangelawar m clothes.Hewasj ustst andi
ngby
thewindownotsay ingany t
hingIwasal sonotkeen
onpept alkngoku.We' vehadenoughoft hose
alr
eady.Igotdr essedinthatsilencet henIhear d
carsdri
vingin,
lomnt usaiditsmybr othercomi ngnot
thewholet eam...
inlessthan10mi nut esIhearda
knocknday anday ovula.

Il
ett
hem i
n,
Lol
hal
fthet
eam.
Theymadet
hemsel
vescomf
ort
abl
endabashi
yaand
wentt owarmt hefoodthatneededwarmthhecame
tosalutethem andcamet ocheckonmewel ocked
eyesIt r
iedtosmil
e,Iknewhefeltbadormaybe
kindaupsetaboutearli
er

Hi
m:"
needhel
p"
Me:
"ha.
ababe,
Ithi
nkI
'
llmanage"
Hi
m:"
usur
e"
Me:
"yeah.
..
comeher
e"

Wasondelaandstoodastepawayf rom meIwal ked

cl
oserandkissedhi
mf ul
lonhisli
ps,heresponded.
At
leastf
ormet hatwaseasi
er,
kissi
ngwasno
pr
oblem,somehowitwasthetouchingthatcreped
methemost .

Hi
m:"
baby
"
Me:
"youcanhel
pmewi
tht
hegl
asses"
Itookthecasserol
edi shesdodgingwhathewas
gonnasay,Ilef
thimt hereandwentt osetthefood.
Hecameoutnezagl assesnhyanthenndagqibez el
a
uzisaukut
y athenIleftthem andwentbackupst air
s
ndahlal
aezingubeni.Afterabout30ifnot45
minuteshesentat extmessage

"
Yourbr
otheri
saski
ngofy
ou"

Igotoutofbedandwentdownstai
rs,Mar
csmil
ed
asIwalkedin,
Irespondedwi
tht
hatsamesmil
ethen
Iwenttositnexttohim.

Hi
m:"
waarwasj
y"
Me:
"ekwounet'
nbi
etj
i
esl
aapmaneki
smoeg"
Hi
m:"
youokayot
her
wise"
Me:
"yeahI
'
mfi
ne"

Wespokesomemor
east
her
estoft
heguy
s
watchedsoccer,
hehel
pedmecleart
het
abl
eand
washthedishes.Nt
andowal
kedinonussi
hleka

Hi
m:"
Pol
o"

Mar
cturnedandlookedathim wi
thoutsay
inga
wor
d..
Isensedsomet ensi
on.

Hi
m:"
Fransi
scoi
sont
hel
i
ne"
Mar
c:"
isi
ttheconf
erencecal
lal
ready
"
Hi
m:"
yes"

Marct
urnedtomeandkissedmycheekandthen
l
eft
.If
ini
shedupNtandohadlef
twithMarcbutl
ater
camel
ookingformeasIhadretur
nedbacktobed.
Hesatont
heedgeandl
ookedahead,
thr
ought
he
wi
ndow
Me:
"youl
ookdi
str
act
ed"
Hi
m:"
I'
m conf
used"
Me:
"ndi
m"?
Hi
m:"
oneminut
eyou'
reokay
,thenexty
ou'
repushi
ng
meaway"

Ndat
hul
a.

Hi
m:"
Nal
i
que"

Wheneverhecall
smewi t
hthisnameIknowhe's
ei
therv
eryhurtorhe'
sgonnabegmeandr i
ghtnow
hewashurt.Ihur
thisfeel
ings.
Buti
twasn'
ti
ntent
ional
nje.

Hi
m:"
Nal
i
que"
Me:
"babe"
Hi
m:"
Iapol
ogi
zedf
orl
ent
oyenzeki
l
eyokuwe,
andI
canapologizeall
ov eragain.May
beyoublame
me,t
hat'
swhyy oucan'tstandmytouch.
..
ift
hat
's
howy oureall
yfeelbehonestbabesowecanseek
prof
essionalassi
stance"

Me:
"It
oldy
ouIdon'
tbl
amey
ou"
Hi
m:"
thenwhat
'
sthepr
obl
em "

Idon'
tknow.
Icoul
dn'
tgi
vehi
m ast
rai
ghtf
orwar
danswer
.
[
10/
10,
19:
07]‪+27730692704‬:
#232

Ij
ust
..
.Ikeptqui
et.
Aknockcamethr
oughsohegotupandl
eft
.I
cov
eredmyheadndal
ala.

Iwaswokenupy
iphonecal
lkaKer
i
Me:
"l
ow"
Her
:"
hey
,yousl
eepi
ng"
Me:
"mmh"
Her:
"areyouokay
?It
saf
tert
wowhyar
eyou
sl
eeping"
Me:
"Icaughtf
lue,
howar
eyoubi
gsi
s"
Her
:"
I'
m gr
eat
,howar
eyou.We'
vebeencal
l
ingy
ou
f
orweeksnow"
Me:
"igott
hemessageij
ustgotpr
eoccupi
edi
for
got
t
oret
urnthecal
l
swhatsup"
Her
:"
mom mi
ssesy
ouher
e"
Me:
'
'oh,
I
'l
lcomecheckonheri
naweekort
woneh"
Her
:"
tr
ytomakei
tthi
sweek,
pls"
Me:
"soundsur
gent
"
Her:
"somet
hingl
i
ket
hat
,andbyt
heway
,we'
rei
nEast
London"
Me:
"why
?Youandmom"
?
Her
:"
yes.
..Ev
ewasher
ebutshel
eftshehadat
est
y
est
erdaybutI
'
m sur
eshe'
l
lbeher
eint
woday
s"
Me:
"oohokay
,I
'l
lcomet
hroughkenam"
Her
:"
alr
ightl
ovey
ouhey
"
Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oo"

Wehungup.
Somet
hingf
ishywasgoi
ngon.
Mygutfeel
ingneverl
i
es.Somethi
ngisgoi
ngonand
Ithi
nkMarcusknowsitt
oobutakafuni
undi
xel
elaso
mybett
eroptionwastocal
lLukendamazhecat
real
l
ykeepthi
ngsawayfrom me

Idial
edhi number..
.wentstraighttovoicemai lsoI
j
ustwentt othebathroom andwentdownst airsI
washungr ynow.Imademy selfhotcof f
eeI
searchedforlef
tovers.
none.It oastedbread,seemed
l
ikeIwasal oneinthishouseIdon' tknowhowdoes
Ntandodot hat,
knowingndiphaku- phakumv anjebut
keIhadt oeat.Imademy selfapeanutbut terand
j
am sandwi chwiththatcoffeenday ohlalaelounge
ndatya.Iswi
tchedont
heTVandwat
chedDi
scov
ery
channel

Isawmyphonescr
eenli
ghti
ngupIt ooki
t:v
somehowi
twasonsil
ent.
..
thesecondphone

Me:
"baby
"
Hi
m:"
didIwakey
ou"
Me:
"noI
'
m awakeal
ready
"
Hi
m:"
okayI
'
m onmawayneh"
Me:
"f
rom"
Him:
"thewar
ehousewit
hthegent
s..
.hadsome
busi
nesstof
ini
shoff
"
Me:
"kay
"
Hi
m:"
Sibongi
l
e"
Me:
"mh"
Hi
m:"
ndi
yakut
handaj
oe"
Irel
easedasmal
lamountofbreat
h,somehowI'v
e
beenholdi
ngont
oitIdon'
tknowforhowl ongor
why.

Me:
"nam ndi
yakut
handa"
Hi
m:"
usur
e"
Me:
"Iwoul
dn'
tbeher
eifIdi
dn'
t"
Hi
m:"
okay
,seey
ouj
ustnow"
Me:
"shar
p"

Hehungup
Ical
l
edhi
m agai
n

Hi
m:"
Mrs"
Me:
"cel
aundzamel
ehot
wings"
Hi
m:"
KFCorChi
ckenLi
cken"
Me:
"any
wher
ethat
'
scl
osert
oyourpat
h"
Hi
m:"
okay
,that
'sal
l
"
Me:
"yepf
ornow"
Hi
m:"
okaysho"
Me:
"t
hanks"

Ihungup.
WhenIwasdoneeat ingIwentt oputt hepl
ateand
cupi nthesink,i
fIwashedt hem Ntandowi l
lsayI
didn'teat:vsondazishi
y aphaandwentt ositonthe
couch.Ideci dedtochecksoci al
medi a..
.
Immedi at
elyndi
ngenandat higqiwithChuma' s
recentposti nMozambi que:/reall
ynow?Il i
kedthe
picture.Shecall
ed:v:vphambeneny hani
l
ent ombazana

Me:
'
'Chuma"
Her
:"
yesesuy
imoer
eny
omnt
anay
az!"
Me:"Iam bl
essedandprosperi
ngundert
he
ci
rcumstances,unj
ani
wenal ovey
"
Her:
"onedayisoneday ,yoursi
nswil
lcat
chupon
you.Askme,igazil
omnt uwil
lal
wayscryfor
vengeanceandI'l
lavengeformyfat
her"

Ikeptqui
et.
..
put
ti
ngt
woandt
wot
oget
her
.

Me:"
soy ou'
ret
ell
i
ngmet hatbraKi
l
lawasyour
f
ather?Ohshame.Uzobaright
.Mycondol
encessi
si
man"
Her:"
yoursarcast
ichuh?Kumnandi?Tri
nawaitand
see,
you'l
lregrett
hedayy ouwerebornnt
ombi.I
'l
l
fuckyouupungazazi nesdukuungaf
unwanangulo
Ntandouthembel engaye"
Me:"myGodwillf
ightmybatt
les.
..
ndsi
ndisi
wemna
ngokudi
dn'
tourmant el
lyou?Ushyeki
lenana.
..
vuma
ushi
ywacozicaci
leuusel
essngoku"
Her:
"webothknowI'
ll
nev erbeuselessI
'
m sti
llt
he
mothertohisf
ir
stbor
n,notthatIcansaythesame
aboutyou"
Me:
"I
'm sur
ehepai
dyourMozambi
quet
ri
p,Idon'
t
real
lycar
ebutwhatwor
riesmeishowy oursurvi
ve
onceIgetmarr
iedcozy
onkelenonsenseniyenzayo
will
stop"
Her:
"uklev
asisi
,andkeuy ayazindodayakhoigood
ekubhej
enineh?Qhandikhendibelostwhyezobheja
mnaukhona?Awnav aluey azebominibakheand
youwill
neverhaveone"

Il
aughedatt
hatone:
v

Me:"
babygirl
,you'
reanex.Hisvomit.Ifhesti
l
lgi
ves
youhandoutswhichIdoubt,
thenungumakhwapheni.
Whyuzivezakodwauy af
ihl
wa?Kamv alakhol
imf
il
iba
okwesquntusekhandlel
a"
Her
:"
mamel
aaphakenonomna-
"
Me:"youli
stenverycar
efull
y.Iwon'tsaythis
again,
leaveNtandooutofy ourbusi
ness.IfIpul
lhi
m
out,y
ou'l
lregr
etthedayyout ri
edmessingwi thme.I
f
Itakehim awaynow,he'
llneverremembery ouorhis
son.Ipromiseyouthat,
nowbeagoodci tizenand
savey ourchil
dt heheartacheofgrowingupwi t
hout
hi
spar ent
sbecauseChumaIpr omi sey ou,st
ru'
bob,
i
fIev erseey ouwi t
hmyt woeyes.I'
ll
killyouwithout
anysecondt hought s.I
'
llblowyourbrainsoutandI '
ll
buryy ourremainsinat r
ashboxf ordogst odev our.
Don'ttestme"
Her
:"
yout
hinky
ouscar
eme"
Me:"
IknowIdon't,
buti
fIwereyou.I
'
dbescared.
Mozambiqueisnotveryf
ar,
ubabeunepr
ivat
ej etso
pl
ease,
dlal
elaf
errdabawo"!
!!

Ihungup.
Blockedhernumberandsmiledasbaewal kedin
withaKFCdunkedwi ngsbox:Dhekissedmycheek
andgav emetheboxwahlalaandweat etogether
.
[
10/
10,
19:
10]‪+27730692704‬:
#233

IlookedatNtando,
thi
smanhasgr
eathandsome
featur
esthough.
Ev
ent
hatdar
ksi
deofhi
missexy
..
.hahaha!I
know,
crazyhuh?ButIl
ovebadboy
s.It
hinkIl
ove
badboysnyhani
.
It
ouchedhischeek,
helookedatmesurpr
isedI
movedcloserandki
ssedhisli
psst
il
lsmil
i
ng

Hi
m:"
..
.Ushar
pbabe"
Me:
"younev
ert
oldmey
ouhadsuchst
rongf
eat
ures"

Thelookonhi sface:vhewasconfused!
!!Iremoved
theboxfrom him andsatonbothhi
slaps,squat
ti
ng
onhim ourfaceswerejustafewmili
metresapart.

Me:
"you'
real
lI'
l
lev
erneedi
naman,
d'
youknowt
hat
"
Hi
m:"
samegoesher
e"
Me:
"evenifIwantedto,
I
'dnevert
radewhatwehave.
I
tsgenui
ne.I'
m surenoMarcuscanseethatnow"

Bef
orehecoul
danswer
,Iki
ssedhi
m.
Wekissed,
verypassi
onat
elyandv
erycal
mlyo.
Oif
t
hatevenexists.
Hewasrespondi
ngv
erywel
ltomyki
ssesand
t
ouches.

Me:
"babe,
doy
oubel
i
evemewhenIsayIl
ovey
ou"
?

Hest
oppedhisar
m hal
fwayfrom r
eachi
ngthebox
andl
ookedatme,
Ihadstoppedsomet i
meago.

Hi
m:"
yes"
Me:
"i
ngat
hawkhosur
e"
Hi
m:"
Iam sur
e,Iknowy
oul
oveme"
Me:
"t
hat'
sbet
ter
.Thenwe'
l
lgot
other
apyoncewe
r
eachJo'
bur
g"

Hesmi
l
ed.
Hi
m:"
that
'sgr
eatnews"
Me:
"I
'm onl
ydoi
ngi
tfory
ouot
her
wisendi
ri
ghtmna"
Hi
m:"
thanksbabe.Ut
hini
uKer
i"
Me:"oohyhoIal
mostf
orgot
.Shewant
smet
obei
n
EastLondonASAP"
Hi
m:"
uzoy
ani
nikengok"
Me:
"nangokundi
ngay
akant
i"

Hi
m:"
thatwon'
twor
k"
Me:
"mayIaskwhy
"
Hi
m:"
Imi
ssy
ou,
Iwantt
ospendt
imewi
thy
ou"

Ncooaw^
_^
Iki
ssedhi
m,bi
ti
ngt
hecor
ner
sofhi
sli
ps.Het
ickl
ed
me:vLol

Me:
"mmh.
hmnababy
"
Hi
m:"
ssshsungxol
ababe"

JustasIwasenj
oyingthemoment..
.hi
sphone
rang,
hel
ookedatthescreenandr
eject
edthecal
l
.
Ndamjonga

Hi
m:"
mamakaOwehasbeenpest
eri
ngme"
Me:
"nt
onngxaki
"
Him:
"Idon'
tknow.
..
Ibetshet
hinksI
'
m herATM cozI
hear
dshe'si
nMozambi que"
Me:
"youhear
d"?
Him:
"yeah,
aft
ertheshoot
ingkhangesi
mbonemos
soIaskedaround"
Me:
"oh"

Het
urnedmet
ofacehi
m:/

Hi
m:"
whati
sit
"
Me:
"mh?Nahnot
hing"
Hi
m:"
babydon'
t.
..
yout
houghtuf
ihl
wendi
m orwhat
"
Me:
"Idon'
t..
.Ij
ustt
houghty
ouhadsomet
hingt
odo
wi
thhertr
ipsomehow"

Hesnor
tedandl
ookedaway
,shaki
nghi
shead

Hi
m:"
Idon'
tbel
i
evet
his"
Me:
"babykal
okl
emmeexpl
ain"
Hi
m:"
expl
ainanaccusat
ion?Real
l
y"
Me:"
Ididn'
taccuseyouofanyt
hingkodwababei
t
wasjustathoughtwhichwasaresul
tofaphone
cal
lshegavemeear l
ier"
Hi
m:"Idon'
tcar
eabouthercal
l
ingyou,
thei
ssueher
e
i
syounottr
usti
ngmeormywor d"
Me:
"babypl
s"
Hi
m:"
babypl
s?Ar
eyouf
oreal
?"
Me:
"wel
lIdi
dn'
tthi
nk,
sti
l
ldon'
tthi
nkshecanaf
for
d
atri
ponherownandusual
l
ysheget
sgr
ant
sfr
om
you"
Hi
m:"
youdi
dn'
t!Lor
dknowsy
ounev
ersai
dthat
"
Me:
"am Il
yi
ng"
?
Him:"haymanS'bongil
e!Likereal
ly?Whenwillt
his
stop?Ihav et
odefendmy selfokoaphakuwey ou
don'tseetheeff
ort
,youdon'tseethatI
'
mt r
ying.
None.Zilch.Mxm"

Heroughl
yr emov
edmef r
om hi
slap,
grabbedhiscar
key
sandl ef
tmest r
uck!Lolumnt
uwandi shi
ya
ndi
khamisil
e!

Ohkay
!
[
10/
10,
19:
10]‪+27730692704‬:
#234

Ndakhendahl
alandi
sakhami
sil
e..
.
It
ookmyphoneandcal
l
edhi
mimmedi
atel
y.
Her
eject
edmycal
l:
o
Itookmytwophonesandt het
ablet
,cal
l
edhisthr
ee
phonesonthedi
ff
erentphoneszonkeonloud

Hi
m:"
andi
zokwazut
het
hanaweI
'
m dr
ivi
ngkhabeke"
Me:
"uphi
"
Hi
m:"
ndi
phi
?Haykandy
ekeS'
bongi
l
etchi
n"
Me:
"babyuphi
"
Hi
m:"
khandy
ekemf
etu"
Me:
"ndi
kuy
ekeneh"
Hi
m:"
ewendi
yeke"
Me:
"sur
ethi
ng"

Ihungup
Iwentt
otheki
tchenonanatt
emptt ocook.
..
ain'
tgot
ti
meforhi
sgames.Ifhehadnothi
ngtodowi t
h
Chumaandhertri
pwhyishetr
ippi
n'whyishe
acti
ngup?Al lhecoul dhav edonewasr ecti
fyme
xandirongoandst opact i
ngli
keapr egnantwoman.
AsIwasdef rostingsomebeefIsawcarkey s
hangingr i
ghtabov ethehob: vIswitchedof ft
hat
microwav eandwentupst ai
rsndanxibaihoodi
eand
boots,tookonephoneandawal l
etthenndahamba
andopenedt hegar ageandbam!Ther ewasa
ToyotaHi ghlander: vthesmi leonmyf aceIdroveit
outandcl osedt hegar age.ThankGodI vorwasnot
aroundcozIwoul dn'thav edonethat,
and
besides,ebezondixela.

Idr
oveoutt
othewat
erf
rontandcal
l
edSoso

Hi
m:"
babyawnqabe"
Me:
"Iknowhey
,howar
eyou"
Hi
m:"
bor
edy
ou"
Me:
"hopef
ul"
Hi
m:"
forwhat
"
Me:
"t
haty
ou'
renott
oobusyt
oseey
ourf
ri
end'
'
Him:
"wel
li
fmyfri
endisdr
ivi
ngt
henI'
m game.
..
and
besi
desI
'
vebeenatthemovi
esthewhol
eday"
Me:"
I'
m att
hepar
kingl
ot,
ndi
l
indeaphokwi
mov
ies
ndi
yeza"
Hi
m:"
that
'swhatI
'
mtal
ki
ngabout
"

:
v

Ipar
ked,
tookmyphoneandwal
l
etndaphuma.On
mywaytoSosoIcall
edAmanda

Her
:"
youst
il
lhav
emynumber
?Mh"
Me:
"yazbaakhont
oikuqumbi
say
ocoznawe
awf
owni "

Shelaughed,
Iconvi
ncedhertocomet othemall
wavumat henImetupwi t
hSosoandwewai t
edfor
Amanda.Shef i
nal
lycamehaikewehitthetownand
pai
ntedthestr
eetsred!Af
teraboutsi
xhoursyat
sho
i
phone

Me:
"Mr
"
Hi
m:"
wher
ethehel
lar
eyouwi
thmycar
"
Me:"er
h..I
mababez
okuphendul
e.Mi
sssshh.Kuphi
apha"?
Her
:"
kusePaar
lmyf
ri
end"
Me:
"oohndi
sePaar
lkebabywam"
Hi
m:"
usePaar
l?HehS'
bongi
l
ear
eyoudr
unk"
?

Igi
gled>_
<

Me:
"whome?Dr
unk?Nooooobabyan'
khodr
unk
mna"
Hehi
ssed!
Hi
m:"
S'bongi
l
e"
Il
aughed

Hi
m:"
S'bongi
l
e"
Me:
"ut
het
hanobabywakho"
Hi
m:"youbet
terdoy
our
sel
faf
avorandcomeback.
Ngoku"
Me:
"comeback?Mf
ondi
nthepar
tyj
ustst
art
ed"
Hi
m:"par
ty?Yhel
aGuddandi
zamkhabal
omnt
ana
mfet
u"

Ihungup.

Ij
oinedici
rcl
ekujaiv
'waanduyabazmosabant u
basekasingovul
aici
rcl
e..
.Thepartywasepi
c.Past
el
eventotwelvewedecidedtogobackhome. .
.Al
l
ofwereti
psy.Idr
oppedSosoof fathi
shouse,onmy
waytodroppingAmandaIsawt heblackcar
sbehind
me.
Me:
"we'
rei
ndeepshi
t"
Her
:"
who'
sbehi
nduschoms"
Me:
"Nt
andoandhi
scr
ewI
'
m sur
e"
Her
:"
yhoooamagi
ntsa?Chomi
bal
eki
saundi
goduse"
Me:
"abazokwenzant
ochi
l
l"

Shedownedacanofguar anadown, thenthenext.I

accel
eratedwhenIsawt hecarswer eclosingupon
mezigqibeindlel
a.Iputonhi gherspeedandwentt o
dropoffmyf r
ienddidn'
tev enwai tt
oseehergoi nI
madeaU- t
urnandspeedoutbutndaf i
kasebev al
e
kwandlel
aleyoIlaughedandabr uptl
ystopped.All
thei
rli
ghtswereon,Ntandocameoutandcamet o
mycar ,
Il
ockedmydoor s:vndimv il
emosut he
uzand'
khaba

Hetr
iedthedoorwahleka..
.notthejoykinda
l
aughter
,t
heangryki
ndai r
ri
tatedlaughter.
Hi
m:"
khav
uleel
i
cango"
Me:
"khay
ekebabeman"
Hi
m:"
Iwon'
trepeatmy
sel
f"

Istar
tedtheigni
ti
on:/Ihadtofi
ndawayoutoft hi
s
one..
.LolIwasgett
ingti
psi
erphof!Guddaand
Rangercameoutoft hei
rcarsandknockedonthe
otherdoorsIopenedthewindownjekanci
ncisoI
canheart hem

Gudda:"
mfet
husav
eyour
sel
ffr
om hi
sangerand
openthi
scar"
Me:
"mol
oGudaf
fiugr
and"
Ranger
:"
thisi
snoti
mef
orj
okesmadam,
khawv
ule
i
ngeneigroot
man"

Icl
osedthei
rwindowandbreat
hedout,
Ntandowas
sti
l
lwait
ingndathobal
eyakhekanci
nci
Me:
"baby
"
Hi
m:"
opent
hiscarandsi
tont
hepassengerseat
"
Me:"
Yhi
makal
okl
et'
smakeanagr
eementst
handwa
sam"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
thav
etheener
gyf
ort
hisy
ouknow"
Me:
"hai
kebaby
"
Hi
m:"
fi
newhatagr
eement"
Me:"thatyou..
.Iknowuangr ynehZ'khali
wam.
But,l
et'
sagr eeyouwon'tshowy ourangerher
ekalok
Jojo.Ifuzandkhabal
ikeyousaid,ndcel
aundkhabele
endli
ni"
Hi
m:"
sho,
vul
ake"

Ifir
stmov edt otheot herside,t
hepassengerseat
thenIleanedov erandopenedf orhim,hewaseati
ng
abubbl egum ngomsi ndo.Hegoti n,
thecars
blocki
ngt heroad,clearedupt her oadhaike
saphephet hekaukuy aendl i
ni.Wer eachedthe
house,parkedandwai tedforRangert ocomewi t
h
thecarhewasdr i
vi
ngt henwel ockedthegarage:
vI
wasalr
eadyupst
air
sundressi
ngjongandi
yayaz
ndi
zokhat
ywamossoIt ol
dmy sel
fmakandikhabe
ndi
mhlenoko>_<

Iwor eredhotli
nger
ie,t
iedmyhai rint
oaneatbun
andt henIwenttobrushmyt eeth,xandbuyahewas
paci
ngar oundtheroom.Theangeri nhiseyes
preventedhimfrom seeingwhatIhadon: (ndoy
ika
kengokhel ookedatmenast i
lyandsnor ted

Hi
m:"
usi
l
eyaz
"
Me:
"baby
"
Him:"
ngubanxesha?WazibaniePaarl?Uyanxi
la
ngoku?HehS'bongil
e?Whati
fabantubakabr aKil
l
a
spott
edyoubakulandel
a?Ubuzonqekeka
nj
engangoku"
?

Iopenedthecover
sandgotinwi
thoutsayi
nga
wor d,
Iwasscar
edqhautywal
abuyagezi
saIwant
ed
tolaughathi
m Idon'
tknowwhy.
Hi
m:"
ndi
yat
het
haS'
bongi
l
e"
Me:
"mmh.
..
uthi
ninana"
Hi
m:"
awndi
vawenabaokobendt
het
ha"

Icov
eredmy
sel
fndal
ala.
Ndi
zombonaksasa.
..
xandi
nehangov
er.
[
10/
10,
19:
11]‪+27730692704‬:
#235

Hepull
edt
hecoversndamjonga,Isatupndavel
a
ndamhl
eka:
v:vseri
ously
,ndot
hukengesthonga
sempamaIsawstarsandfair
ies!

Iopenedmyey esandhisheadwasagai nstthe

closet,
hi
sfistbangedagai
nstitonceandt henhe
turnedandlookedatme.Amazi ngl
yIdidn'treal
ly
feellampama,Imean,I
'
vefeltastr
ongerone
accompaniedwi thi
cecoldwaterbefor
esobi zi
nto
ezincaneezi.
Hi
m:"soyou'l
lj
ustsi
tther
eandsmil
e?What'
sthi
s
j
okethatyou'
reseei
nglemnandi
ngayboni
yoinal
lof
t
his"
Me:
"mh"
?
Hi
m:"
ndi
kuphi
ndekuzophel
aobut
ywal
aneh"
?

Ij
ustwal
kedtomybagandr emovedpainki
l
lers.
..I
n
mymindI'
m sayi
ng'
uyazphambanisakodwaloh':vI
dr
anktwoandregai
nedmypositi
onont hebed.

Me:"y
ouknow, hi
tt
ingmewon'
tmakeanyofus
happy.Butsi
nceitgiv
esy
outhesenseofbei
nga
man,goahead,makemeyourpunchi
ngbagwhil
e
yousti
llcan"
Hi
m:"Idon-
'
'
Me:
"whi
chsi
dey
ouwantf
ir
st?Lef
t?Ri
ght
"?
Hi
m:"
ba-
"
Me:
"whi
l
eyouati
t,
makesur
eyoudoi
tver
ywel
l
.I
ai
n'
tgott
imef
ormi
shaps"

Hel
ookedatme
Thenhewal
kedt
owar
dst
hedoor

Me:"
you'
rerunni
ngawaynow?Imean,Igaveyou
per
missi
ont obeatmeupnowy ouwalki
n'out
?
Uri
ghtl
ove?Don'tyouneedaf
ixmaybe?Icanhelp
youputi
fyouneedone"
Hi
m:"
Iai
n'
tgott
imef
ort
hisr
ubbi
sh"
Me:
"sonowI
'
mrubbi
sh?Real
l
ynow?
"
Him:"
Inev
ersaidyou'
rer
ubbi
shS'bongil
eIj
ustdon'
t
haveti
metoargueandfi
ghtwit
hy ou"
Me:"okaybabyndiconfusedkengok.Fir
st
uzandkhaba,
thenI'
mr ubbish,
nowy oudon'
thav
e
ti
mef orthi
s?Ithi
nkI'
mi ll
i
t er
atet
oday"

Heshookhi
sheadandl
eftmet
her
e.
Ohwel
l
.

IthoughtIhear dt
hedoorclosedownstai
rssoI
walkeddownandpour edmy sel
faglassofwhiskey
kulenay akhe,ont
herocks:DItookthewholebottl
e
andsatont hecouchcrossedmylegsandsavored
themoment .Onmyt hi
rdglasshewalkedinwahleka
andhej ustsatdown

Hi
m:"
Ileav
ethehousef
ort
womi
nut
esandt
hem y
ou
t
urnt
oabot t
lef
orcomf
ort
"
Me:
"yespr
ofessorany
thi
ngel
se"
Hi
m:"
prof
essor
?Wow"
Me:"
mamel asonny.Gotobed,l
eavemet odr
ink.I'
m
homeright
?You'vegotyourcarkey swit
hyou,I
'm
sur
euzozif
akaphantsikomqamel o.Kusafego
sl
eep,
I'
m notarebell
i
ouskidIwon' ttr
ytosneakout"

Wandi
j
ongawaphakama
Hi
m:"
ingaskendi
kuv
uthul
ulengempamababy
"
Me:
"unqandway
int
on"
Hi
m:"
comet
othi
nkofi
t,
akhont
oindi
nqanday
o"
Me:
"mxm"

Idownedonemoregl
assandl
efthimther
e,act
ual
l
y
pushedhi
m out
tamywayasIwalkedupst
airs.

Igoti
nbedndat
iphakengok.

Ekseni
:v

Iwokeup,hewasgett
ingdr essed.Il
ookedathi
m,he
gavemeawei r
dlook.
..t
hinkIcar e?It
ookmyphone
andcal
ledAmanda,shepi ckedupont hethi
rdr
ing.
Sendi
cama.
Her
:"
mmmh"
Me:
"sl
eptsaf
e"
Her
:"
yahmt
chanam,
hangov
erendi
nay
o"
Me:
"awf
iki
kum.
..Myheadi
sheav
yasI
'
m speaki
ng"
Her
:"
suy
thet
ha,
hav
eyoucal
l
edSoso"
Me:"
I'
llcheckonhimlateronIneedaLi
lmor
eti
me
j
ustnjekhendici
mele"
Her
:"
ayt
,l
aterneh"
Me:
"shar
p"

Ihungup.
..
Shecal
l
edagai
n

Me:
"Mi
sh"
Her:
"If
orgott
otel
ly'
al
l,
zi
yawakwaMzol
itoni
ghtOo
Ti
rabazobebepha"
Me:"y
homt
chana,
Idon'
thav
eacar
.I'
dli
ket
ogo
kona"
Her:
"l
emmet
alkt
omyboy
fri
endandgetbackt
o
you"
Me:"
sharp,
i
fhedoesn'twanna,
I
'l
ltr
yandconv
ince
Sosonobauzandi
thuka"

Shebur
stoutl
aughi
ng.
..

Her
:"
awnabl
ueschomi
"
Me:"
Idon'
tknow.
.Ihaven'
tseent
hemirr
ory
etbutI
'
m
sur
eukhonaufiv
ef i
ngerssomewher
e"

Waphel
ayi
ntsi
nil
omnt
u:v:
v

Her
:"
ungonj
i
weChom"
Me:"
haychi
l
l.
..
mast
het
hel
atebr
andi
l
ambe
nol
amba"
Her
:"
shar
pnt
wana"
Me:
"ay
t"
Ihungupandwal kedtothebathroom.WhenIcame
backt heroom wasempty ,
Imadet hebedandcl osed
thewi ndowhehadopened.Ilefttheshawl ont he
bed,wor ehi
sgownandwentdownst airsndafikaOo
Rangerbehl el
iphael
oungeIjustwalkedst r
aightto
thekitchenandmademy sel
fcerealndatyel
aphay a
andt herewerenodirt
ydishessowhenIwas
fi
nishedIr i
nsedmybowl,madet eaandbumped
ontoGuddaashewal kedinwithcups,caba
bebephunganabo

Hi
m:"
mor
ning"
Me:
"hi
"

Iwal
kedaf
ewst
eps

Hi
m:"
how'
sthehangov
er"
Me:
"noneofy
ourbusi
ness"
Hechuckled,
Iwalkedbackupst
air
sndaphungel
a
ezi
ngubeniandwhenIwasdoneIcov er
edmy
head,
drankpainki
ll
ersandsl
ept
.

SEVENHOURSLATER

If
eltsomeonewakingmeupIuncov
eredmysel
fand
l
ookedathim..
.ndi
dikwekwi
qondol
okugqi
bel
a-_-

Hi
m:"
her
e'sf
ood"
Ilookedathi
mli
ke...
isheserious?Hecoul
dn'
tsay
goodmor ni
ngorthathe'sl
eav i
ngbutnowhebri
ngs
mef ood?OoohandI'm supposedtosmil
eandsay
thankyoumos.

Ijustgotupandwal
kedtothebat
hroom ndav
asa
thistimeandcamebackhewasseatedonthebed
wai t
ingforme.
Me:
"t
hanks"

ThenIwentt otheclosetndakhangel aii

mpahl a.I
removedblackunder wear,gr
eythicktights,
greypolo
neck,
blackcoatandbl ackhightopsneaker s
ndazi
bekaecaleni.Myphoner ang,Imov edtowher e
hewassi t
ti
ng,t
owel wr appedaroundmybody , It
ook
myphoneandanswer edSoso

Me:
"bhey
ibhi
"
Hi
m:"
Igotacal
lfr
om Amanda"
Me:"
yeahshet
oldmeabouttoni
ght
,Iguesssheal
so
t
oldyouwedon'thav
etr
ansport
"
Hi
m:"
boy
fri
endy
akhewi
l
ltakeus"
Me:
"oohokay
,sosi
dibanaphi
"
Hi
m:"
mal
lkal
ok"
Me:
"shar
pke,
I
'l
lcal
lyou"
Hi
m:"
shot
"

Hehungup.
AsIputt
hephonedownhecal
l
edagai
n

Me:
"sup"
Hi
m:"
uphi
utaBeast
"
Me:
"nanku"
Hi
m:"
doesheknow"
Me:
"andaz,
brandi
yagodol
amankhay
ekendi
nxi
be"
Him:"
shi
t!Hedoesn'
tknow,
andy
oudon'
tseem t
o
care"
Me:
"l
ater
"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tl
ikewher
ethi
sisgoi
ng'
ooo"

Il
aughedathi
sNi
ger
ianaccentadhungup.
Nt
andowasl
ooki
ngatmeasIgotdr
essed
Hi
m:"
goi
ngoutagai
n"
Me:
"yes"
Hi
m:"
wit
hwho"
Me:
"f
ri
ends"
Hi
m:"whi
chfr
iendsbabe,
Ihav
etoknowusaf
eapho
uy
akhona"

Ikeptqui
etndanxi
baqha.
[
10/
10,
19:
11]‪+27730692704‬:
#236

Hi
m:"
S'bongi
l
e"
Me:
"Nt
ando"
Hi
m:"
whi
chf
ri
endsar
eyougoi
ngoutwi
th"
?

Isi
ghedandev
enst
oppedwhatIwasdoi
ng
ndamjonga
Me:"
I'
m goi
ngoutwi
thLwandi
soandAmanda.Ther
e
youhaveit
"
Hi
m:"
nizobuy
awhatt
ime"
Me:
"andi
yazke"

Wathul
a,Ir
esumedtomakingmysel
fbeaut
if
ulgqi
ba
kwam ndathat
haukut
yaokuazenakondat
ya

Me:
"awf
uni
"?

Heshookhi
shead

Me:
"usur
e"?
Hi
m:"
yeahndi
grandi
tya"
Me:
"mmh,
ungandi
gal
elel
iiv
a-wenakent
anga"
Hi
m: "
woul
dn'tbesuchabadi
deaundert
he
ci
rcumst
ances"
Il
aughedathi m.
..
almostchoki
ngonmyf ood.When
IwasdoneIwentdownst air
switht het
rayand
empti
edt heremai
nsemgqomeni thenIwentback
upndathathamyphoneandwal letagai
n

Me:
"I
'l
lseey
oul
ater
"
Hi
m:"
lemmedr
opy
ouof
f"
Me:
"dr
opmeof
fwher
e"?
Hi
m:"
klendawouy
akuy
o"
Me:
"ooh,
sur
e.Dr
opmeof
fatt
hemal
l
"
Hi
m:"
niy
aemal
l
"
Me:
"sodi
banaemal
l
..
.anddon'
tyoust
alkme"

Hedidn'
tanswert
hatwejustwalkedonebehindthe
ot
herunti
lwegotinthecar
,t
hesilencewashecti
cas
wedrovetothemall
safi
kaIcouldseeSosoata
di
stance:
vandIwassureusibonil
ebutwoyikau
Nt
andowet hu.
Hi
m:"
besaf
e"
Me:
"sur
e.Pl
sorgani
zeMo,
ngomsoIr
eal
l
yhav
eto
got
oEastLondon"
Hi
m:"
whatt
ime"
Me:
"noti
nthemor
ningkodwa"
Hi
m:"
ayt
"

Igotoutofthecar.
..
helookedatme,Ismi
l
ed
knowinghedoesn'tvouchforwhatI
'
m doi
ngqha
undi
yekil
e.Undovuli
l
engamany eamagama.
Isi
gnal
edf
orhi
mtol
owert
hewi
ndow

Me:
"Il
ovey
ouokay
"
Hi
m:"
lov
eyout
oo,
enj
oy'
'
Me:
"Ipl
ant
o..
.qhazobanexhal
aloqhwat
ywaagai
n"

:
vway
ekanongat
hiebezancumawav
elawat
shi
ntsha.
Ibi
dgoodby
eandski
ppedmywayt
oSoso.

Wewai
tedf
orAmanda.
..
.
Waf
ikaandguesswhat
?

Tul
z:
"hehbossl
ady
,nguwel
echomi
kababe"
Me:
"t
ulz,
unj
ani
"
Hi
m:"
I'
m gr
eatf
ondi
n,
kant
iukheuphume"
Me:
"I
'm nopr
isonery
ouknow"

Sahlekaandgotinthecar
..
.dr
oveustoMzol i
'sheh
ha.asanahalfwaythr
oughtheni
ghtndadikwaandI
knewi fIcoul
dcall
babeangazaazondi
thathasoI
cal
ledt heset
woaside

Soso:
"what
'sup"
Me:
"heyguy
sndi
yani
shi
yaman"
Mi
sh:
"soear
ly?Why
"
Me:"
I'
mt r
avel
i
ngt
omor
rowsoIneedanear
ly
ni
ghter
"
Mi
sh:
"okayl
emmeaskThul
ani
tot
akeuhome"
Me:
"enkosi
Chom"

Tul
zwaf
ika
Hedr
ovemehomendaf
ikababeel
eleIcal
l
edhi
m

Hi
m:"
S'bongi
l
e"
Me:
"pl
sopent
hedoor
"
Hi
m:"
mh"

I
naf
ewmi
nut
esheopened.
Iwassoberasajudge.Okomnabendsi t
yainyama
pha,
tul
zhootedandleftusndangenaendl
inil
ocked
andfol
lowedhim upst
airsndakhul
ula

Hi
m:"
youcamebackear
li
ert
hanant
ici
pat
ed"
Me:
"Iwasbor
edman"
Hi
m:"
mmh"

Iwor
emyPJsandgoti
nbedwel
ayt
her
einsi
l
ence.

Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Hi
m:"
forwhat
"
Me:"nott
rust
ingyou,
quest
ioni
ngy
ourl
oyal
tyand
act
ingirr
ati
onal"
Hi
m:"
okay
"

Icl
osedmyey
es

Hi
m:"Iwasbegi
nni
ngt
owonderi
fuy
ozbonani
niba
ur
ongo"
Me:
"nokoI
'
m nott
hatst
ubbor
n"
Hi
m:"
uzi
shi
yephi
chomi
zakho"
Me:
"kl
andawobesi
yekuy
o"

Wat
hul
anay
e
It
urnedandl
ookedathi
m

Me:
"Iguessy
ouwon'
tapol
ogi
zef
orsl
appi
ngme"
Hi
m:"
noIwon'
t,
youdeser
vedi
t"

Ismi
l
ed.
..
Iwant
edt
olaugh:
v

Hi
m:"
bendci
mbauzokhal
athough"
Me:"I
'm nocrybabynomor
e.Li
fest
rengt
henedme
kakubintanga"
Him:
"mmh,
l
et'
sgetsomer
est
.Tomor
rowi
sanot
her
day"

Lolokay,
sal
ala.Duri
ngtheni
ghtwemusthave
cuddledcozndivukeandsawhisheadonmychest
,I
smil
edandkissedhi
sfor
ehead.Heopenedoneey
e
andclosedi
tagai
n

Me:
"ndcel
auphakamababe"
Hi
m:"
hm.
mh"

Ipul
l
edmyphoneandcheckedt
heti
me,
itwaspast
ten:
oxeshal
i
yakhawl
ezamosandIwasabithungr
y
:/

Me:
"nana"
Cwaka.

Ndamy eka.Iplayedmusiconmyphonewhi le
massaginghist emplesthinkinghowf arwe'vecome
shameendi nyamezelendi geza>_ <atti
meIwoul d
del
iber
atelypushhi sbutt
onssoIcoul dseehi sot
her
si
debuthe' dseer i
ghtthrought hataphole.
Het
aughtmet
olov
eagai
n,
whenLandi
l
e
di
sappoint
edme, whenIl
ostmychi
ldandevenri
ght
nowhe'ssti
ll
teachingmetol
oveuncondi
ti
onal
l
y.

Hemov edandsleptonthebed...
aft
er45mi nutesi
f
notmore.Igotupandwentt oshower,ndabuyaand
l
efthi
mt hereIwenttomakebr eakf
astforus.
Seei
ngthatakadeavukeItookitupstair
sandwoke
hi
m wav ukawachophasatyasi
ncokolanjee.

Hi
m:"
uzobuy
ani
ni"
Me:"
I'
m notreal
l
ysur
ewhatIknowi
sndi
zobuy
elae
Jo'
burgkodwa"
Hi
m:"
mmh"
Me:"Isti
l
lcan'
tshakethefeel
i
ngt
hatsomet
hingi
s
def
initel
ywrongendli
ni"
Hi
m:"
you'
l
lfi
ndoutsoonenough.
..Ihav
eameeting
t
ogotoattwel
ve.Obuy
akwam siyahambaneh"
Me:
"okay
"
Hegotupandwentt
oshower
Ical
l
edMar
cus

Hi
m:"
Lil
sis"
Me:
"hoegaandi
t"
Hi
m:"
lekkerenj
y"
Me:
"sameher
e,I
'
m goi
ngt
oELt
oday
"
Him:"
heyI
'
m supposedt
obethereal
readyKer
ihas
beenonmycasesincel
astweekal
ready"
Me:
"wat
svout"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tknowt
hey
'r
enotsay
ingany
thi
ng"
Me:
"t
henl
et'
sgot
oget
her
"
Hi
m:"
yougoi
ngwhatt
ime"
Me:
"af
terhi
s12o'
cl
ockmeet
ing"
Hi
m:"
okay
,I
'l
lhal
aaty
a"
Me:
"ay
t"
Ihungupandst
art
edpacki
ng.
[
10/
10,
19:
11]‪+27730692704‬:
#237

HecameoutoftheshowerwhileIwaspacking
wanxi
baet
hecwakalikei
bindi
thukuthezel
ale
si
l
enceser
iousl
ybutIwantedtolethim be.

Myphoner
ang

Me:
"Ev
ely
nSmi
th"
Her
:"
Tri
nal
i
queSmi
th,
howar
eyouLi
lsi
s"
Me:
"anxi
ous,
you"
Her:
"t
ir
ed,
l
ookekisoppadKaapt
oeenekhoorj
y
gaanOosLondenvanaand"
Me:
"j
aekdi
nkMar
clookmaareki
sni
esekerni
e"
Her
:"
okay
,wai
tformet
hen"
Me:
"sur
e"
Icont
inuedt
henwhenIwasdoneIsatont
hebed
andwatchedhi
m,mylegscr
ossed.

Hi
m:"
wahl
alakal
usi
ziwhat
'
sup"
Me:
"not
hing"
Hi
m:"whatdi
dEv
esayi
nobanguy
eloukwenze
wany
aba"
Me:
"eshe!I
'
mjustadmi
ri
ngy
ouman"
Hi
m:"
I'
m notapuppybabedon'
tadmi
reme"
Me:"oooh-
hoo.Khaw'
hambebabeuzobal
ateUt
sho
ngobamhle"

Hel
aughed
Tookhi
sthi
ngsandwal
kedout
:
vIcal
l
edaf
terhi
m

Me:
"heeeey
!Iwantmyki
ss"
Wabuy
aehl
ekawandi
j
ongashaki
nghi
shead.

Me:
"unesi
bindint
anga,
j
ustwal
ki
ngoutasi
fther
e's
nooneyou'
releavi
ngbehi
nd"
Hi
m:"
myQueen,
wher
eshal
lIki
ssmyhi
ghness"
?
Me:
"ri
ghther
ent
ate"

Lolheki
ssedmyli
psIbithi
scornerswahl
eka,
I
gi
ggled:
pIwasenjoyi
ngthisqhandiy
ahambaakho
ni
xezokwenzekamtchanam!

Hi
m:"
babyIhav
etogo"
Me:
"onemor
eki
ss"
Hi
m:"
closey
ourl
i
pskuqal
a"

Ilaughedandclosedmyl
ips,
pouti
ng.Heki
ssedme
there,
andranout:v:
val
ri
ght!Shot
!
---

FourHour
sLat
er

Evewashere:Duzi
swenguMarcandwewere
wait
ingfort
heboss,
maki
ngonehel
luv
anoi
seint
hat
house.
Babef i
nall
yar
rivedbakhebancokolanoEv ethen
Marccalledwathisodi
banaeair por
t.Wepacked
i
ntoacarandheadedst rai
ghtt
ot heair
portwit
hout
wastingmucht i
me.SafikaandMowasal ready
wait
ingforus,Evewalkedintotheaircr
aftndaj
onga
uNtandomna

Hi
m:"
hug"
?
Me:
"you'
renotcomi
ngwi
th"
?
Hi
m:"
hahbabe"
Me:
"okay
..
.don'
tanswert
hat
.By
eby
e"
Wehugged.
Daaaaaamn!
Thosearms:'
(Iki
ssedhisneckleav
ingatraceof
pi
nklipst
ickt
henIboar
dedthejetandfoundMarcus
i
nside:D

Me:
"t
hisi
sgonnabeagoodr
ide"
Hi
m:"
youbet
"

Lolwehuggedandgotseat edasMol i
ft
edusupand
fl
ewusaway .Duri
ngthef
lightIwaschatti
ngno
babesinceev er
yonewassuddenlybusyont hei
r
phones..
.act
uall
ykwababel owoundiqali
l
ecozI
wasn'tgonnapesterhi
m...Butkeshamesancokola

Hi
m:"
Ihopeawl
elanga"
Me:
"ndi
yozel
ayazbr
a"
Hi
m:"
andi
ngobr
awakhof
ondi
n"
Me:
"xol
osweet
s,wenzan"
Hi
m:"
waiti
ngforRangeratFi
sh-
Away
sthenwehead
t
oDurbanobuyakoMo"
Me:
"yougoi
ngt
oDur
bs"
?
Hi
m:"y
ep"
Me:
"andIdi
dn'
tknow?Yhounesbi
ndi
"
Hi
m:"
youcan'
tbl
ameme,
youwer
ejustt
oobusy
j
ammingkal
ok"
Me:
"eshe,
thi
smor
ningat
least
"
Hi
m:"
sli
ppedmymi
nd"

Idi
dn'
trespond.

Hi
m:"
cal
lmeof
ikakwakho'
'

Ist
il
ldi
dn'
trespond.
Whenwelanded,
wet
ookacabhome,
onmyway
homeIcal
ledKay

Hi
m:"
mmhbossl
ady
,l
ongt
ime"
Me:
"heeyhowar
eyou"
Hi
m:"
I'
m gr
eat
,how'
syou"
Me:
"sameman,
ni
nqabi
l
eqha"
Hi
m:"
uzosi
bonamost
oday
"
Me:
"t
oday
"?
Hi
m:"
awuzi
nobr
akant
ingapha"
Me:
"hah!Ionl
yfoundoutnowukubauzangapho
l
owo"
Him:"
theny
ouhav
eachancet
opackaweekendbag
kal
ok"
Me:
"I
'm onmawayhomef
ondi
n"
Hi
m:"
ever
ythi
ngokay
"?
Me:
"I
'm notsur
ehey
,butI
'
llf
indoutsoonenough"
Hi
m:"
wel
lgoodl
ucki
ncasey
ouneedi
t.
..
"
Ihear
dSi
hlekwi
backgr
ound

Hi
m:"
Sihl
eyabul
i
sa"
Me:
"hol
l
erback,
Ihav
etogoneh"
Hi
m:"
thanksf
ort
hecal
lma'
am"
Me:
"hahaany
time"

Saf
ikaatt
hegat
e

Mar
c:"
somet
hingi
sdef
ini
tel
ygoi
ngonher
e"
Me:
"It
houghtIwasnai
vekey
az"
Ev
e:"
guy
sshush,
yal
lar
emaki
ngmemor
eanxi
ous"

Wewalkedi
nsothecwakaandf oundKerieat
ing
al
oneel
ounge.Wehuggedandsatdown,shewasn't
l
ooki
nggoodatal
l.
Afteraf
ewfor
malit
ieshayndazi
ncamaandspoke
upcozakhomntuubuzant
okuncokol
waeziny
e
i
indaba

Me:
"Ker
iwher
e'smom"
Her
:"
bedr
oom,
sohow'
svar
sit
y"?
Me:
"Ihav
en'
tat
tendedi
naweek.
..
beenbusy
"
Ev
e:"
isLukeal
socomi
ng"
Ker
i:
"he'
sher
eal
ready
..
.Justwentout
"
Mar
c:"
okay
,sowhat
'st
hisabout
"?

Wat
hul
aumnt
u.
Myphoner ang,
Irej
ect
edthecal
lcozIwant
edt
o
hearwhat
'sgoingnyhani
apha.

Ker
i:
"uhm,
dadpassedaway
"
Me:
"what
"!
?
Ev
e:"
when"
?
Mar
c:"
andweonl
yfi
ndoutnow?Why
"?

Wasijongawaphakamaandlef
tuslooki
ngateach
other
...Iwenttomomsroom f
ikael
ele:
oIshook
her,
Ker iwal
kedin

Her
:"l
etherr
estTr
ina"
Me:
"howl
onghasshebeensl
eepi
ng"
?
Her
:"j
ust
..
.Pl
ease"
:
/

Me:
"oh"

Imovedastepbackwar
dsasev
ery
onewal
kedi
n
andsatar
oundmom.
[
10/
10,
19:
11]‪+27730692704‬:
#238

Weal
lsatar
oundherbedi
nsi
l
ence.
Afteramomentshemov edandopenedher
eyes,Kerir
antoherwithagl
assofwaterandst
raw
:oIdi dn'
treal
i
zeithascometothatal
ready

Me:
"she'
sreal
l
ysi
cki
sn'
tshe"

Sheturnedandsmil
edatall
ofus.Thenshe
coughedupandsignal
edforust
ocomecl oser
.We
di
d.

Her
:"
I'
m gl
ad.I
'
m gl
adt
haty
ouawf
ull
otar
eher
e
t
oday"
Mar
c:"
howy
ouf
eel
i
ngmom"

Het
ouchedherf
rai
lwr
inkl
edhand

Her:
"heybabydon'
tl
ooksosad.Ihavenothi
ngelse
t
ol i
vefor
,youal
lar
eoldenoughtohavefamil
iesof
yourownandIam ofnohusband"
Me:
"butmom.
..
"
Ev
e:"
shoul
dwet
akey
out
othedoct
or"
?
Shesmi
l
edandkeptqui
et

Kwat
hicwaka.

Her
:"
Ihav
esomet
hingv
eryi
mpor
tantt
otel
lyoual
l
"
Ker
i:
"youcanr
estmom,
we'
l
lcomebackagai
nlat
er"
Her
:"
nonobaby
.Si
t"

Weal
ll
ookedatherat
tent
ivel
y.

Her
:"
Ilov
eyoual
l
,equal
l
yandsodi
dyourdad"
Mar
c:"
andwe'
regr
atef
ulmom.Al
lofus"

Lukewalkedi
n,
pathi
sbr
oontheback,
ki
ssedEveon
thecheekandmom ont
hef
oreheadt
henlast
ly
camet
osi
tnextt
ome,
wecuddl
edi
nsomeway
.

Mom:"
nowt hatbei
ngsai
d,bef
oreIgotomyrest
ing
pl
aceIhav
et olety
ouint
oaf amil
ysecr
et"
Ev
e:"
secr
et?Ourf
ami
l
yhadsecr
ets"
?
Mom:'
'wehaveonethatwe'reproudwebkeptunt
il
now,
onlybecausei
tsnecessaryevennow”
Luu:
"what
'
sthatmom"

Shesmi
l
edatal
lofusandl
ast
lyt
ookadeepbr
eat
h.

Her
:"y
ourdadandIneverhadchi
l
drenofour
own,
andsoweadoptedallofy
ou"
Ker
i:
"I
'm adopt
ed"
?
Luu:
"t
hisi
snott
rue"
Mar
c:"
guy
s,l
etmom t
alkf
ini
sh"

Her
:"
Thanky
ouMar
cus.Iknowt
hiscoul
dhur
tmost
ofyou,
butforquest
ionsamdmay bepossi
ble
answers,
I
'vekeptboxesful
lofy
ourparent
s
i
nformati
onanddet ai
lswit
hmylawyer.Marcuswi
l
l
handl
eeverythi
ngelse"
Ker
i:
"whyhi
m,I
'
m ol
der
"
Her
:"he'
swiser
.Nowlet
'snotf
ightov
ert
his,
west
il
l
hav
eawi ll
aheadofus"
Ev
e:"
guysI
'm sor
ry,
butIdon'
tseem t
obeabl
eto
pr
ocesswhatmom justsai
d"

Weal
ll
ookedather
..
.

Marc:
"we'
real
ladopt
ed,
that
'
sit
.Nowcanwemov
e
on"
Ker
i:
"yousoundl
i
key
ouknewt
hisbef
orenow"
Mom:"
that
'sbecausehisfat
heroncecamel
ooki
ng
f
orhi
m butMarcusdidn'twantt
ogoalongwi
thhi
m"

Thehousewasi
nsi
l
ence.
Mom:"welovedli
keourown,
nev
erdoubtthat.Not
evenonceinyourl
if
emustyoudoubtourlov
ef or
you"
Ev
e:"
howol
dwasIwhenIwasadopt
ed"
?
Mom:
"onedayol
d"
Ev
e:"
why
"?
Mom:"baby
,that
'snoti
mport
antnow.Canwejust
cel
ebr
atemyf ewmoment sl
eftt
oliv
einhar
mony"
Ev
e:"
butmom Iwa-
"
Luu:
"Ev
ely
n"

Wat
hul
a.
Shewentout,If
oll
owedaf t
erherandreachedher
room i
ntimecozshewasgonnal ockhersel
finsi
de.
Shewascr y
ing,
Iclosedthedoorandhuggedher
all
owinghertocryital
lout.
Mamel
a..
.
Alotofthingswerenotaddingupbutwhoam I
questi
onany t
hing?AsfarasIknewI'
mtheonly
adopteddaughterrat
herper
soninthi
shouseso
nyhanishameEv ehadsomer easont
obethi
supset
.

Her
:"
ithur
ts,
al
lthesey
ear
sI'
vebeenl
i
vingal
i
e"?
Me:"no,
you'
vebeenl
i
vingagoodl
i
fe.Onet
haty
ou
deserve"
Her:"
nomanTee..
.shecan'
tev
entel
lmewhyIwas
giv
enupforadopt
ion.Doyouthi
nkt
hat
'sagood
thi
ng"
Me:"whatIthinkdoesn'
treall
ymat ter,
whatmat t
ers
ri
ghtnowismom andherheal t
h.Insteadofus
aski
ngheral otofquesti
onsl et'
sjustbetherefor
herandwai tpati
entl
yforthatdaywhenwe' llspeak
toherlawyerandourquest i
onswi llbeanswered"

Wal
i
la
Isatwi
thhert
her
eunti
lshefel
lasl
eep
ndamombathi
saandl
efther
,mom wasasl
eepand
herroom wasempty.Iwenttomyownr oom and
checkedmymessages.Nt andohasbeencal
li
ng
nonstop,
he'
sbeensendingmessagesalongwithhi
s
brot
herschecki
ngonme.SoIcal l
edhim..
..

Hi
m:"
fi
nal
l
y"
Me:
"hi
"
Him:"
I'
vebeencall
ingy
ouoko,
bekunzima
nophakamisai
phonewhenyoulanded?Orke
wakufi
kaendli
ni"
?
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry,
sl
ippedmymi
nd"
Hi
m:"
sli
ppedy
ourmi
ndbaby
?Wow.Okay
"

Isi
ghed

Me:
"I
'm sor
rybabe"

Hesi
ghed
Hi
m:"
okay
"
Me:"
canIcal
lyoulat
erorngomsoI
'
m notr
eal
l
y
goodtot
alkr
ightnow"
Hi
m:"
showhat
ever
"
Me:
"by
e"
Hi
m:"
bye"

Ihungupandl ayonmyback, heyandiyazman

bekuvel
ekwasizungunj emaybeitsbecausedadhad
passedaway?Heh, speaki
ngofthat,noonereal
l
y
tookitt
oheartthatpassedawayey onantoonour
mindswasthiscurrentsit
uat
ion.

Sosocal
l
edndi
sahl
eli
njal
o

Me:
"Lwandi
so"
Hi
m:"
hey
,unj
ani
"
Me:
"I
'm goodunj
ani
wena"
Hi
m:"
I'
m good,
Ihear
dabouty
ourdad"
Me:
"ah,
utat
akhokanene"
Hi
m:"
yeah,
butusur
eur
ightwena"
Me:
"I
'm okayman,
Ithi
nkwewer
eki
ndaexpect
ingi
t
t
ohappenneh"
Hi
m:"
how'
syourmom t
aki
ngi
t"
?
Me:
"she'st
akenitbadl
y,
don'
tbesur
pri
sedi
fwebur
y
t
hem toget
her"
Hi
m:"
hayTeesut
het
hakanj
alo"
Me:
"I
'm ser
ious,
she'
sal
readyspokenherl
astwor
ds"
Hi
m:"
thi
sissosadt
hough"
Me:"
it
sourreali
tynow,
someofuswil
lgobackto
bei
ngorphans.Funnyhowt
heworl
drotat
eshuh"
Hi
m:"
sut
het
hakanj
alomanf
ri
end"
Me:
"r
ealit
ySosof ondi
nisI
'
llnev
erescapet
hef
act
t
hatI
'm anorphan"
Hi
m:"
Tri
nandi
yakucel
adon'
tspeakl
i
ket
hat
,I'
m her
e
Icanbey
ourf
ami
l
ytooi
fyouwant
"
Me:"butwebot hknowyoucan'
tbemy
parents.
..
may bei
tsti
meIstar
tsear
chi
ngf
ormydad.
Biol
ogicaldad"
Him:"ar
ey our
eadyf
ort
hat
,emot
ional
l
yand
psychologi
cal
l
y"
Me:
"Idon'
tknownt
wana.
..
butdoIhav
eachoi
ce"
?
Hi
m:"
Iheary
ou.
..
"

Suddenl
ywef
ell
sil
ent
.
Iwast
hinki
ng.
..i
fsonkeasi
ngobal
aphat
henwhat
doest
hefutur
eholdforal
lofus?

Me:
"Ihav
etogomyf
ri
end"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
cal
lyouagai
ntocheckony
ouneh"
Me:
"t
hanksdear
"
Hi
m:"
ungal
i
limanTee"
Me:
"haha,
don'
twor
rynt
wanay
am ndi
str
ongo
mv
anj
e"
Hi
m:"
Ibl
esst
heLor
dfort
hat
"

:
v:v

Ismi
l
edandhungup.
Iwentdownforsuppert
henbackt
omyr
oom
ndayol
ala.
[
10/
10,
19:
11]‪+27730692704‬:
#239

WhenIr eachedmyr oom If

ell
asl
eepi
mmediatel
y
andsleptthroughbutwokeupmidni
ghtmi
ssing
umntanakaNt abeni

Itossedandt ur
nedonthi
sbigcol
dbedunt i
lI
decidedthatngconoandi
phoxekebutI
'
llcal
lhim
andIdid.
..
Rangf
ourt
imesbef
orehepi
ckedupandhedi
dn'
t
ev
ensoundl
i
keasl
eepi
ngman

Hi
m:"
Sibongi
l
e"
Me:
"Imi
ssy
ou"

Wat
hul
a..
.
Thathurt,
nj
ekanci
ncinotkakhul
uthoughcozIwas
hurtal
readyzi
zi
ntozenzekayoaphendl
i
ni

Me:
"I
'm sor
ryi
fIwokey
ouup"

ThenIhungup.
Hecal
l
edagai
n..
.

Me:
"hi
"
Hi
m:"
whydi
dyouhangup"
Me:
"bendi
cingel
awenakal
ok"
Hi
m:"
buti
fbend'
l
eleubusew'
ndi
vusi
l
enj
e"
Me:
"xol
o"
Hi
m:"
utheni
"
Me:
"andi
nant
obabeIwasj
ustmi
ssi
ngy
ou"
Hi
m:"
isev
ery
thi
ngokayathome"
?
Me:
"yeahev
ery
thi
ngi
sfi
ne"
Hi
m:"
okaythen,
tr
yandgetsomesl
eepI
'
llcal
lyoui
n
t
hemorni
ng"
Me:
"Il
ovey
ouokay
"
Hi
m:"
Iknowbaby
,goodni
ghtst
handwasam"
Me:
"goodni
ghtbaby
"

Webot
hhungup.

Okayndalalakeaf t
erlophonecallandwokeupin
themor ni
ng,ever
ybodyelsewasst i
llsl
eepi
ngsoI
optedtomakebr eakfastjustnjemanndiphumzeu
Kerishamet henImadesmal lpor
ri
dgeformom and
tookitt
oherl
eavi
ngtheEngli
shbreakfastal
ready
sort
edandwait
ingfort
herestoft
hef am toi
ndulge.
Itookmom' spor ri
dgeandt eat oher ,
putitnextt o
herbedandt riedwaki ngherupbutshedi dn't
respond.Okayt hatfr
ightenedmeabi tsoIshook
herbutherwhol ebodyshook. ..Asi xthsenset old
meshe' snol ongerl i
vingbutIdi dn'twannabel ieveit
.
Immedi atelyIcheckedherpul seandf oundoutt hat
shewascol d,waaayt oocol d.Icouldn'tbel i
evemy
hands,Icouldn'tbeli
ev emyey esIsatdownand
yearsstreameddownmyey es,itonlysanki nnow
thatnow,likethispresentmomentI 'mr eallyan
orphan.Hai kezaphalal aii
nyembezi oko...Idon't
knowwhendi dLukewal kinbuthedi dn'task
anythi
nghej ustcoveredherandpi ckedmeup
wandikhupha, onceout sideIrant omyr oom ndal il
a
pha

Nt
andocal
l
edndi
sal
i
la
Ipi
ckedupsti
ll
cry
ingcozIknewuzophi
ndaakhal
ale
i
fIdidn'
tpi
ckup
Me:
-si
l
ent
-
Hi
m:"
baby
"

Isni
ff
ed.
..
tear
swerej
ustcomi
ngout
,myhear
twas
i
npain,
hur
tache.

Me:
"hey
"
Hi
m:"
whyar
eyoucr
ying?Ar
eyouokay
"?
Me:
"I
'mf
ine,
unj
ani
babe"
Hi
m:"
nanat
alkt
ome"

Hai
kesanaIbr
okedown.Hel
i
stenedunt
ilIsubsi
ded

Hi
m:"
okay
,whathappened"
Me:
"mom passedaway
"
Hi
m:"
when"
?
Me:
"I
..
.Idon'
tknow.I
'
m notsur
e,If
oundhert
his
mor
ning"
Hi
m:"
okaycanIcal
lyoubacki
nfi
vemi
nut
es"
Me:
"okay
"

Thenhehungup.
[
10/
10,
19:
12]‪+27730692704‬:
#240

Iwenttowashmyfacendabuyel
aelounge,
the
wholefami
lywast
hereever
yonewascryingIj
ust
satther
enumb.MyphonerangIgotupandwent
outsi
de

Me:
"baby
"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
bei
nEastLondonnamhl
anj
eemi
nike"
Me:
"noy
oudon'
thav
eto"
Him:
"butbabey
ouj
ustl
ostt
heonl
ypeopl
eyouknow
asparent
s"
Me:
"iknowhey
,butt
hiswi
l
lpasst
oo"
Hi
m:"
butI
'
m sur
eyouneedme"
Me:"
IdobutIt
hinkmyf
ami
l
yneedssomet
ime
al
oneokwangoku"
Him:"
okaybutndi
yezakemay
beMarc'
O'Pol
owi
l
l
needsomeassist
anceher
eandt
her
e"
Me:
"enkosi
kebabe"
Hi
m:"
best
rongneh"
Me:
"I
'mt
ryi
ng,
buti
tshar
d"
Hi
m:"
kuzodl
ulast
handwasam"

Ndat
hul
a.
Wehadt
hatsi
l
entmomentnj
e.

Me:
"Nt
ando"
Hi
m:"
mh"
Me:"
cel
azundphat
hel
ei-
quat
erchi
ckeny
akwa
Nando'
sbr
a"
hi
m:"
you'
reki
ddi
ng"
me:
"ndi
ser
iousbanj
e"
hi
m:"
okayI
'
llcal
lyou"
Me:
"Il
ovey
ou"
Hi
m:"
Ilov
eyoumor
ebaby
,don'
tcr
ynowokay
"
Isnif
fedandl
ookedup,
:vkut
hwamosl
ooki
ngup
stopstear
sandi
thi
nah?

Me:
"okay
,seey
ouke"
Hi
m:"
inaf
ewhour
s"
Me:
"shar
p"

Wehungupndahl al
apha.Andazangamanhowsuch
freshnewst ravel
edbutacarhoot edy avul
ekaigate
kwat hi
gqi i
mot oyakwaTit
us...Ididn'tmove,
Faith
nev erl
ovedmesowhyshowIshowt hem any
respecttoday?Andbesides,
I'
m allowedt obemoody
mannamhl anje.
Theygotoutoft
hecar .
..Fai
th,
herhusbandandthen,
Landi
le:oIwasshockedkelona.Ididn'
texpecthi
m
here.
..Whyi
sn'
theinCTkhona?
Theycametogreet,
thefol
kspassedandwalked
i
nsidewashi
yekel
aumf oomkhuluandhestoodright
i
nfrontofme.

Hi
m:"
hi"
Me:
"hi
"
Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
ryf
ory
ourl
oss"
me:
"t
hanks"

Wakhewat
hul
a

hi
m:"
thi
sisaLi
lbi
tawkwar
d"
Me:"
it
scool
Landi
l
eyouknowy
oudon'
thav
eto
pr
etend"
Hi
m:"
I'
m notpr
etendi
ngTee,
I
'mj
ustsi
ncer
elysor
ry
aboutev
ery
thi
ng"
Me:
"shokal
ok"
Hi
m:"uhm,
i
fyouneedtot
alkI'
m her
e.Orkeyoucan
t
alkt
oSososeei
ngthati
tmightbeawkwardtal
ki
ng
t
ome"
Me:
"I
'l
lkeept
hati
nmi
nd"

Hesai
dsomet hingunderhi
sbr
eathandlef
t,
Isat
t
herej
ustt
hinking.Lukecameoutandsatdownnext
t
ome

Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
ryy
ouhadt
oseet
hat
"
Me:
"cool
"
Hi
m:"
Iknowhowmuchy
oul
oveddad,
mor
ethan
mom"
Me:"
itwasnosecretyouknow,
dadandIhadt
he
sameinter
est
sjustli
kemom andEve"
Hi
m:"
yeah.
..
theyr
eal
l
yli
ved"
Me:
"i
tst
il
lfeel
ssur
real
though"
Hi
m:"
it
sst
il
lear
lyday
s,ast
imegoest
hepai
nwi
l
l
f
ade"

Ikeptqui
et.
Wejustsatt
hereinsil
ence,
ahearseorrat
heracar
fr
om themort
uarycamet ofet
chherwecleanedthe
houseassoonast heTit
usfamil
ylef
t.
Ntandor eal
lyf
lewin:)boughtmymeatbutdi dn'
t
comei nsideuyni
kel
ey azi
swa:p,Idi
dn'tseehi
m but
Iheardfrom MarcandLuke'sconversati
onandhe
l
aterconf i
rmedthathe'sl
anded.

ONEWEEKLATER

Ihadt ofl
ytovarsi
tyIwasmissi
ngoutonimport
ant
test
ssoIl ef
ttheFAM behi
ndandrushedto
Jozi
,thankGodbaehasaPJcozIdi dn'
thavet
o
bookaticketorpackumphakofort
hetr
ipandt
he
sadpartwast hathecoul
dn'
tcomewit
hme,hi
s
fr
iendneededhi mther
e.

IreachedJo'burgandat t
endedmycl assesf orthe
fi
rstthr
eeday swithoutanyhassl es,onthef orthday
asIreachedt heschool ,
rememberIhav ebody
guards?Theywentev erywher ewit
hmeev enkuloup
anddownbet weencitiest heyar
er i
ghtbehi ndME.
OkayasIr eachedthev arsit
yentr
ance,Ireceiveda
spookyphonecal lo.O

Me:
"pr
ivat
ehel
l
o"
Him:
"youbett
erwatchy
ourst
ep,
Ntandoi
sacoupl
e
ofpr
ovincesaway
"
Me:
"whoam Ispeaki
ngwi
th"
Hi
m:"
woul
dn'
tyoul
i
ket
oknow"

Therewassomethi
ngfamili
arwi
ththeatti
tude.
..
Justthatt
hev
oicewaskindamanly
,orfakedto
soundmanl
y

Me:
"Chuma"
Thephonebeeped.
I
beki
we,
j
umpi
l
e.

Iwalkedintothepremisesndayobhala.Cameout
andheadedt otheShisaNyamacozIwasn' tgonna
cookkodwandi hlel
indodwakulandlu,Ibumped
ontothatir
rit
ati
ngChloe-_-yhoNkosi!

Me:
"hi
"
Her
:"
heey,
Tri
na?You'
rescar
cey
az.
..
come,
her
e'sa
f
reetabl
e"

Iresi
stantl
yfol
lowedbehindherasshel edmeto
thatt
ableandsatdown,shebr oughtmet hemenuI
mademyor derthenwandishi
ya.Inafewmi nut
esI
sawVi ncecomingoutbuthewascal ledbya
cust
omersoItookthechanceandcall
ed
Soso,
wasn'
treal
l
yinthemoodf orVi
nceandhi
s
l
amespeechesworseuLibhongoukhona

Hi
m:"
hey
"
Me:
"hey
,what
'
sup"
Him:"
nothi
ng,
justcamet
ochangeandr
ant
othe
soccerf
iel
d"

Vi
ncesawthatI
'm ont
hephonesohej
ustwav
edad
wentbacki
nsi
de.

Ndancokol
amnanoSosounti
lmyordercame
thr
ough,
asatakeawayt
henmyguar
dsdroveme
home.

I
ntheev
eni
ngIcal
l
edMar
cus
Hi
m:"
heyy
ou,
howy
ouhol
dingup"
Me:"
justf
ine,
heyIuhm,
Igotacr
eepyphonecal
l
ear
li
er"
Hi
m:"
creepyi
nwhatsense"
Me:"
inasensethati
tsoundedsoweir
d,l
i
keaman
bei
ngstr
angledorafemaleimper
sonat
or"
Hi
m:"
sendmet
henumber
"
Me:
"pr
ivat
ecal
lkal
okmt
chanam "
Hi
m:"
herj
yjoumanv
ert
el"
?
me:
"nee"
Hi
m:"
okay
,i
ftheycal
lyouagai
ndon'
tpi
ckupneh"
Me:
"sur
e,what
'
sgoi
ngont
her
e?Whati
shappeni
ng"
Him:
"we'
rebusywitht
hel
astpr
epsf
orbot
hbur
ial
s
now,
butal
lissor
ted"
Me:
"okay,
I'
l
lbebackonweekendi
fwedi
dn'
tget
mor
et hanwhatwehavenow"

Ny
hani
,
Iwant
edt
obewi
tht
hef
ami
l
yshame.
Beingawayfrom homeatatimeli
ket hi
sdidn'
tfeel
ri
ght.Atal
lbutit
swhatIhadtodo,schoolmatters
mostandIknewt heywouldhavealsoencouraged
met obeatschoolinst
eadofmopingaroundt he
houseandmi ssimport
antt
asks.
[
10/
10,
19:
14]‪+27730692704‬:
#241

Onadai lybasisIdi
dthesamer out
ineofwaking
up,goingtoclassandcomi ngbackhome.Icouldn'
t
reall
yretur
nt oElasIthoughtIwouldngeweekend
cozIwasswamped, Iwasr eall
ybusy.OnSunday
whilecomi ngoutofaninternetcaf
éIrecei
vedacall
from Kuhle:D

Me:
"hel
l
o"
Hi
m:"
hey
,ugr
and"
Me:
"I
'm gr
eat
,you"
Him:
"moja,
andi
mfumaniubr
akwi
phoney
akhedo
youper
hapsknowwherehei
s"
Me:
"uhm.
..
no,
Ithi
nkhecoul
dbebusyt
hough.Tr
y
hi
m agai
nlat
er"
Hi
m:"Ineedtot al
ktohi
m ngokumf
ethu,
Iev
encal
l
ed
I
voruthiakekho"
Me:
"he'
sinEastLondon"
Hi
m:"
oohokay
,khay
ekendf
ounel
eunozal
ake"
Me:
"wai
t.
..
"
Hi
m:"
huh"
?
Me:
"don'
tyouhav
eRangerorMar
c'snumber
?
Bef
oreyoucal
lumakhul
u"
Hi
m:"
yout
hinkhe'
swi
tht
hem"
Me:"
isheev
erwit
houtthem?Andbesi
des,
Idoubt
he'
shadachanceyokuyakumamakheasyet"
Hi
m:"
oohman,
Ifor
got
.Lef
uner
aly
okokwenuneh"
Me:
"yep"
Hi
m:"
okaypl
sfor
war
dmey
ourbr
other
snumber
"
Me:
"shar
p"
Him:"
bestr
ongnt
wanay
am man,
theset
hings
happen"
Me:
"Iknowsan,
enkosi
evha"
Hi
m:"
shar
p"

Wehungup

Iaskedt heguardstodri
vemet ot
heShisaNyamaI
neededmeat: (i
twasmyowncomf or
tokwangoku
ndihlel
indedwakuleJo'bur
gIBoughyenoughforme
andt hem thenndal
indakeasitwasbraai
ed.Vince
cameoutandwal kedtowardsmewahlalaphantsi
smi l
i
ng

Hi
m:"
youl
ookgood"
Me:
"t
hanky
ou"
Hi
m:"
how'
sthepr
epar
ati
onsf
ort
hef
uner
al"
?
Me:
"Idon'
treal
l
yknowhey
,okondi
l
aphal
eveki
"
Hi
m:"
oohsoubuy
elani
niemont
i"
Me:
"I
'm notsur
e,may
bewi
thi
ntheweek"
Kwat
higqi
uLi
bo

Her
:"
Mol
weni
,
ani
secozy
"
Hi
m:"
sicozy
?Nj
ani
"
Her
:"
nev
ermi
nd,
unj
ani
Tee"
Me:
"ndi
grandLi
bowena"
Her:
"hayndi
shar
p,y
azkuy
acacaxakuf
ikewena
apha"
Me:
"r
eal
l
y"
Her:
"ewe,
awutshowenababe?Kuv
elekucacenj
eba
kungenaubossladysana"

Ihadnot
hingt
osayandVi
ncenot
edt
hat

Him:
"Li
bopl
schecki
finy
amay
akheay
ikagqi
tywa
nah"
Her
:"
ooh,
okay
"
Wahamba

Me:
"she'
sst
il
li
nsecur
e"?
Hi
m:"
inobauy
abuy
elaumv
axaekubona"
Me:
"uxakeki
l
eman"
Him:
"sayt
hatagai
n,
andiyazngqondokaLiboici
nga
nj
anisometi
mescozkuy ei
tdoesn'
tcountley
oba
unobrauvel
eandi
cingel
efani
"
Me:
"may
bey
ou'
vehur
therbef
orekal
ok"

Wat
hul
a

Lol
jumpi
l
e,she'
sinsecur
ewi
thr
eason.
[
10/
10,
19:
15]‪+27730692704‬:
#242

Wesatther
echat
ti
ngunti
lsheemer
gedwi
thmy
meatt
henherboyf
ri
endaccompani
edmet
othe
car,
theni
qqazdroveout,
Iaskedthem todriv emet o
Sparndat
hengafreshfr
uitandbreadroll
st hent hey
tookmehomendaf ikandabohlul
elaeyaboi nyama
thenIwal
kedinsi
deandl ockedmy sel
finther e.

ItookashowerthenIcuddledmy selfonthecouch
eati
nglanyama,
Iwasn'tgonnacal l
any one,Ij
ust
wantedtotakeanapandl ateronwakeupandf ace
mybooksqha.Butkeasl uckmayhav eit,
theKing
call
ed.
.Findi
ngmeinasol emnst at
eofmood. ..

Me:
"hel
l
o"
Hi
m:"
yourmout
hisf
ull
off
ood.
..
unj
ani
"
Il
aughed:
vIhadmeati
nmymout
hny
hani

Me:
"I
'm goodman,
unj
ani
wena"
Him:
"I'
m good,
butI
'
m sur
eI'
dbegr
eati
fIcoul
dsee
you"
Me:
"I
'l
lbei
nEastLondonsoonnj
elov
e"
Hi
m:"
andi
fIt
ell
youI
'
miny
ourhood"
?
Me:
"myhood?Hai
bobabeuseJozi
"?
Hi
m:"
justl
anded,
canIcomeandseey
ou"
?
Me:
"of
cozf
ondi
n,
didy
ouev
enhav
etoaskt
hat
"?
Hi
m:"
kal
okIdon'
twannabeofdest
ruct
iont
oyour
st
udi
es"
Me:
"ny
hani
neh,
uzobal
aphaf
orhowl
ong"
?
Him:"
ndi
yahambaksasaIjustcametofet
chafew
thi
ngsezi
zoncedisaphakwif
uneral
butandi
nokwazi
uhambawithoutseei
ngyou"
Me:
"okayi
zake,
Icanl
ookatt
hebooksl
ateron"
Hi
m:"
onmyway
"
Me:
"shar
p"

Thenwehungup: )i
tsbeenal ongweek,
Iwouldn'
t
havewant edhi
mt oseemei nPJaf t
eralongtime
apartbutundert
hecircumstancesIwasn'ti
nthe
moodt olooksexyatall.Uy
oxolaumfomkhulu.SoI
onl
yf r
eshenedupmyf aceandwenttowai t
downstairsf
orhim,hehooted,Iopenedt hegateand
wenttoopent hedoor.
..
inaf ewmi nuteshewal ked
i
n: Dwehuggedf oranintensemomentt henwalked
totheloungesahl
alasobabini l
ookingintoeach
other
sey es

Me:
"awdi
nwemf
ethu"
Hi
m:"
youhavet
oideawhatwe'r
edoi
ngt
her
e..
.Si
no
mi
ssesyouont
heotherhand"
Me:"
oohman,Imisshert
oo.May
beaf
tert
hef
uner
al
I
'l
lgett
otakeherout
"
Hi
m:"
youhav
eto,
i
twi
l
lmeanal
ott
oher
..
.andme"

Me:
"how'
sev
ery
onet
hatsi
de"
?
Hi
m:"
cal
m andcooper
ati
ve.Especi
all
yKer
i"
Me:
"unj
ani
uEv
ely
n?Ndoy
ikay
enaqha"
Him:
"ebezot
hat
hway i
lachapy
akhei
zol
oksasa
ubuy
elatesêbett
ershame"
Me:
"mmh.
..Awl
ambanga?Andphekangabuti
khona
i
nyama"
Hi
m:"
ulel
eut
yei
nyamay
odwa"
?
Me:
"ner
oll
s,
I'
mti
red"
Hi
m:"
you'
rej
ustl
azy
,ndi
grandsanphol
a"
Me:
"and'
ngosanwakhokepl
s"
Hi
m:"
ungaqal
i
"

LolIgav
ehi m"thee"look,wahleka.Ir
estedmyhead
onhisshoulderenjoyi
ngt hesefewmi nutes.>_
<
akhomntuungay i
thandiyointoyakheguy s,
kubhuj
i
we
kungabhujwangakheni mengondi xul
uba>_ <

Myphonerang..
.Pr
ivatenumberIlookedat
hi
m,ndamni
ka,heputitonloudspeaker

Hi
m:"
Tri
na'
sphonehowmayIbeofassi
stance"
Her
:"
hi,
Ineedt
ospeakt
oTr
inaASAPi
fpossi
ble"
Hi
m:"
andy
ouar
e"?
Her
:"
Fait
hTitus,
sheknowsme.Pl
sinf
orm herIneed
t
ourgentl
yspeaktoher"
Hi
m:"
inconj
unct
ionwi
th"
?
Her
:"i
tsapr
ivat
emat
ter
,whoam Ispeaki
ngt
o
any
way"?
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
passont
hemessaget
hanky
ou"

Thenhehungupandl
ookedatme,
Ishr
ugged.

Hi
m:"
andt
hat
"?
Me:
"don'
task,
uqal
eni
niubani
cekum l
oh"
?
Hi
m:"
inobauny
anzel
way
iur
gencykal
oknj
e"
Me:
"uzopakakemt
chanam"
Hi
m:"
awkhocur
iousnakanci
nci
"
Me:
"nope,
orwai
t.
..
lemmeaskLwandi
so"

Ipi
ckedupmyphoneandcal
l
edSoso:
)
Him:
"nt
wanacanIcal
lyoul
aterI
'
m swampedr
ight
now"
Me:
"okaykesan"
Hi
m:"
shar
p"

Wehungup

Me:
"he'
sbusy
"
Hi
m:"
kusebusukubabeuSosoakanant
ombi
nah"
Me:
"ndi
mfi
rstl
adykal
ok"
Him:"
uhambaubay
ifi
rstl
adykuy
oyonkel
emi
zi
ngoku"
Me:
"cor
rect
ion,
hear
tsnothousesorhomes"
Hi
m:"
samediff
erence.Masi
y'
tshi
ntshel
encokof
uthi
How'
svar
sit
y"?

Ihadt
olaughathowser
ioushesounded
Me:"
yhokubi,
I
'm sooobehi
ndwit
hev er
ythi
ngbutI
'
m
t
ryi
ngtocatchupespecial
l
yngezizi
yipri
ori
ty"
Hi
m:"youneedt
ost
abi
l
izey
our
sel
fngoku,
youcan'
t
af
for
dt of
ail
"
Me:"
stabi
li
ze?Kodwanguweumnt
uondi
rhuqel
a
eKapaeverynowandthen"
Hi
m:"
ndizoyekakal
oknam babe,
educat
ioni
smor
e
i
mport
antthananythi
ng"
Me:"t
henbabemandibesi
ngl
emanawut
showena?
Justunt
ilDecember"
Hi
m:"
hayhayy
int
onl
euy
thet
hay
ongoku"
Me:"kal
okineedtofocus,
prior
it
izeandst
abi
li
zeso
zonkeezizi
ntoneedsaclearmindsett
hati
sonly
focusedonthebooks"
Hi
m:"
Idi
dn'
tknowy
ouhav
echi
ckenbr
aint
hough"
Me:
"baby
"!
Him:
"I'
m bei
ngreal
,Ungaf
amosxaunongenakul
e
yam i
ngqondo"
Me:
"esheasi
fuci
nget
hewhol
eofAf
ri
cakwawena"
Him:"babewenawoyiswayiquanti
tythatcouldonly
makeEastLondonhy pot
het
icall
yspeaking,Ionthe
otherhandhavedi
vi
sionsonmymi nd..
.asecti
onfor
businessesi
nSA,Afr
ica,
USA,mykids,myfami l
y,
you
andt hensomewher
esomehowIf i
ndasect ionfor
my self
"

Me:
"okayokay
,poi
ntmade.
..
mov
ingr
ightal
ong"
Heki
ssedmycheek,
Idon'
tl
ikebei
ngwr
ongwet
hu.

Sosocal
l
ed,
Ipi
ckedup.
..

Me:
"bhey
ibhi
"
Hi
m:"
hey
,I
'm sor
ryaboutear
li
er"
Me:
"nopr
obs,
dudeIgotacal
lfr
om y
ourmom"
Hi
m:"
mom?Ut
hini
"
Me:
"shesai
dImustcal
lherback,
kal
okIgav
eubae
i
phonesi
ncei
biy
ipr
ivat
ecal
l
"
Hi
m:"
hahaha!Ul
i
gwal
ant
wanat
yhi
ni"
Me:"
yhuSosoibebeenthr
oughal otmt
chana,
Ican'
t
deal
witht
hatkindast
uffngoku"
Hi
m:"
khawmendbuzekuLaabaebezot
hini
umamakhe"
Me:
"pl
easesani
man"
Hi
m:"
shokebabe"

Wehungup,
Ntandowasr
elax
ingwi
they
escl
osed.

Me:
"baby
"
Hi
m:"
mh"
Me:
"Awf
unul
alanobay
i30mi
nut
es"
Hi
m:"
ha.
andi
grand"
Me:
"you'
reexhaust
edNt
andohai
bo"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
sleepont
hej
etbabeskawar
a"
Wel
lIshutup.
Iswit
chedont
heTVandwat chedMTVBasengoku
asaci
meley
ocozandi
zokwaziufundael
apha
somehow.
[
10/
10,
19:
15]‪+27730692704‬:
#243

Aft
eracoupleofminut
eshewokeupandIwas
havi
ngcoff
eedidn'
tmakeonef orhi
mthoughcoz
ndi
mbonil
ebaulelekokukuci
melakwakhe.

Hi
m:"
yourHi
ghness"
Me:
"myKi
ng"
Hi
m:"
Ishoul
dgetgoi
ng"
Me:
"yeahy
oushoul
d"

Waphakamaandstr
etchedndamj
onganjee^
_^
admi
ri
nghisdedi
cat
iontothi
srel
ati
onshi
peven
t
hrought
het
ought
imeswe'
vehad.

Me:
"yay
azi
ndi
yakut
handaneh"
Hi
m:"
haha,
yout
ell
meal
way
s,nobasewnomsi
ndo"
Me:
"umsi
ndodoesn'
tchangeany
thi
ngkal
ok"
Hi
m:"
mmh,
khaphakamekeuzov
ala"

If
oll
owedhi
m out
sideashegoti
ntohi
scar

Hi
m:"
iphi
mot
oyakho"
Me:"garage,
kal
okandsay
'qhubi
ondai
l
ybasi
sndi
ne
chauffer"
Hi
m:"
uyi
queenny
hani
mos"
Me:
"t
hankst
oyou,
myki
ng"

Heturnedsmil
i
ngIwalkedr
ighti
ntohi
sar
msand
wekissed,y
hothi
za!
!
Af
teramomentIpul
l
edback

Me:
"t
hanky
ou"
Hi
m:"
whathav
eIdone"
Me:
"awsaact
inj
ebabe"
Hi
m:"
andi
mdal
afondi
n"
Me:
"f
orbeingther
ewhenMarcneedsy
oumost
,asa
f
ri
endnothisboss.Meansal
ott
ome"
Hi
m:"
wel
lI'
m doi
ngi
tfory
out
oo"
Me:"
Iknowy ou'
reaf
ami
l
yman,
andIl
ovey
oumor
e
cozofthat
"

Heki
ssedmyl
i
psoncemor
e

Hi
m:"
ohmyf
ir
st-
bor
n"
Me:
"haha!Uy
azbonake"
Wehuggedonemor etimethenhedr oveout,
Ilocked
thegat
eandwal kedinsi
de,l
ockedt hehouse,
tookmy
phonesandwalkedupst ai
rsIcheckedf ormi
ssed
call
sLolt
wofrom Sosoandonef rom thepri
vate
number.
Ical
l
edSoso

Hi
m:"
bhey
ibhi
"
Me:
"Ij
ustsawy
ourmi
ssedcal
l
sbae"
Him:"
Hehmt chanam somethingi
sfi
shypha
kul
andluev
enLaadoesn' tknowwhat'
sgoingon"
Me:
"hai
kengok,
doy
oubel
i
evehi
m"
Him:
"yep,
uthiuy
azivaii
whispersbutkuthul
wewhen
hewalksi
nt heroom sony
hani he'
salsocuri
ouscoz
i
numberyakhobay f
umenekuy e"
Me:"
yhuha.
amakamemanumamakhozomf
ounel
a
nobakungomso"
Hi
m:"
undxel
elekewhat
'supneh"
Me:
"shont
wana"
Wehungupndangenaezi
ngubeni
ndal
ala.

Fol
lowi
ngmor ningIwokeupandprepar
edforclass,
asthedr
iverdrovemeoutwafounalomfazi
-_-nge
numberyakhekengok

Me:
"Mr
sTi
tus,
goodmor
ning"
Her
:"
you'
rehar
dtogethol
dof
,howar
eyou"
Me:
"gr
eatandy
ou"
Her
:"
I'
m good.Ar
eyoust
il
li
nEastLondon"
?
Me:
"no"
Her:
"okay,
uhm Ical
l
edyoul
astni
ght
.Idon'
tknowi
f
yougotthemessage"
Me:
"Idi
d,whatwast
hecal
labout
"
Her
:"
youdi
dn'
tbot
hert
ocal
lmeback"
?
Me:"
wellIwasn'
tsur
eifI
'
dbei
nter
est
edi
nwhat
you'
regoingt
osay"
Her
:"
wow"
Me:
"excusemef
ormyhonest
y"
Her
:"
IguessIdeservethat
,any
wayt
hisi
sn'
tabout
meorwhateverhappenedwhenyouwerest
il
ldat
ing
myson"
Me:
"t
henwhat
sitabout
"?
Her
:"
I'
dli
ket
otal
ktoy
oui
nper
son,
i
tsv
eryi
mpor
tant
"
Me:"wel
lI'
l
lonl
ycometoELonFri
day,
forthef
uner
al
andIwon'tbest
ayi
ngl
ongI'
vegottoatt
endcl
asses
I'
m wri
ti
ngmyexam pr
ett
ysoon"
Her:
"ifpossi
blecany
oucomet
omyhouseon
Sunday"
Me:
"t
hedayaf
tert
hef
uner
al"
?
Her
:"
yes"
Me:"
noprobl
em,butI
'
dli
ketochooseanot
herplace.
Don'
tthi
nkI'
l
lbecomfor
tabl
einYOURcomf or
tzone
"
Her
:"
whi
chev
erpl
easesy
ou"
Me:
"okay
"
Her
:"
enj
oyy
ourday
"
Me:
"mmh"

Wehungup.

Thedrivetoclasswasaqui etone,Ir
eachedvarsi
ty
andwalkedst r
aightt
oclassndahlalafourhour
s
concentrat
ingandtaki
ngnot esthenIwalkedoutto
thecanteenIneededcoffee..
.Onlytobumpon
Kabelo

Me:
"Kabs,
hey
"
Hi
m:"
hey
,you'
rev
eryscar
ce,
how'
sit
"?
Me:
"I
'm gr
eatman,
how'
syou"
Hi
m:"
I'
m gr
eat
..
.r
eadyf
ort
heupcomi
ngexam"
?
Me:
"heyI
'
mtr
yingy
ouknow"
Hi
m:"
int
woweekswe'
l
lbehav
ingr
evi
si
oncl
asses
andev
ensecondy
earst
udent
sar
ewel
come"
Me:
"r
evi
sion?Forwhi
chcour
ses"
Hi
m:"
aren'
tyoudoi
ngLLB"
?
Me:
"ohwow!Howdi
dyouknow?Thankst
hough"
Hi
m:"
soI'
l
lnot
if
yyouoftheof
fi
cial
time,
sti
l
lusi
ng
t
hesamenumberr
ight
"?
Me:"
yeah..
.addmei
nFBsoIcanseei
fy'
al
lpost
any
thing"
Hi
m:"
alr
ightt
hen,
i
tsgoodseei
ngy
ouhey
"
Me:
"ay
tman"

Her ushedout,
Ihadmycof feeandretur
nedtoclass
fortwomor ehoursthenIheadedhomeonl yto
arri
veandseeSi v
ewai t
ingoutsi
de,Iopenedt
he
gateaswedr ovein,
shef ol
l
owedinherowncar .I
wondershedidn'tcal
laxelebauyezao.O

Igotoutandshedi
d,wehuggedsancokol
anj
easI
wenttoopenthedoorImadeherdri
nkandbi
scui
ts
ndahl
alaont
heot
hercouch

Me:
"howl
onghav
eyoubeenout
side"
?
Her
:"
arghnotl
ong,
andIshoul
dhav
ecal
l
ed"
Me:
"yeah.
..
what
'
sup?Youl
ookst
ressed"
Her
:"
I.
..YhoTee.I
'
mindeepshi
t.AndIdon'
tknow
whototalkt
o"
Me:
"buuuut
..
.y
ouknowy
oucant
alkt
oLuu"
Her:
"he'
snott
her
ightpersonf
orthi
sandmyf ol
ks
wantnothi
ngt
odowi t
hityett
heycausedal
lofthi
s!
Gosh"!
:
/er
h..
.

Iwai
ted.
ThenIsawt
ear
s,Igav
ehert
issue

Me:
"I
'm sur
eit
snot
hingy
oucan'
thandl
e"
Her
:"
it
sget
ti
ngoutofhandTee.
..AndIknowi
twi
l
l
kil
lyourbr
other
.Yho,
Idon'
tknowhowi
tgott
othi
s,
I
real
lydon'
t"

LolokaynowIwasr eal
lycur
ious:
Ditsgonnamy
brot
her?Didshecheatonhim?Lolshebett
ernot
!Or
she'
llhav
emeandEv edownherneckntanga!

Me:
"okaywhati
sit
"?
Shet
ookasi
pandbl
ewhernose.

Her:
"yew.
..OkayIuhm,Idatedyourbrotherf
ormany
year
snowandf i
nall
yhedecidedthathewasr eady
t
omakemehi swi f
e"
Me:
"Ibel
i
evey
ouar
ereadyt
oo"
Her:
"Iam,we'
vealwaysbeenhonestwit
heach
ot
her..
.wel
lIt
hinkIwasn'
tashonestashei
s"
Me:
"what
'st
hatsupposedt
omean"
Shewi
pedat
ear
..
.
Il
ookedather
..
.concer
ned.

Her
:"
whenIwas15Iuhm,
gotpr
egnant"
Me:
"you"
?
Shechuckl
ed..
.Iknow!Idi
dn'tmeant
osoundso
sur
pri
sed,butIwassurpri
sednje!

Her:"
Iknowhey,t
henmyparentsgaveupthechi
l
d
foradopti
oncozmymom waswor kingi
nLondon
andmydadwasat opnot
chlawyersother
ewould
havebeenno-onetol
ookaft
erthebaby"
Me:
"yho"
Her:"
souhm, Ineversawt hechildafterIgaveherup.
Nowr ecentl
yafteryourbrotherpaidlobolaIst
arted
recei
vingemailsfrom anunrecognizedemai l
account.Daddidar esearchandf oundoutitsthat
chil
dshe'slooki
ngf orherrealparents"
Me:
"howdi
dshef
indoutshewasadopt
edi
nthe
fi
rstplace?Andhowdi
dshegethol
dofYOURemai
l
address"?
Her:"Idon'
tknow,dadtr
iedgetti
ngholdofthe
adoptiveparent
sandonlygottheirsonwhosaidhe
doesn'tknowhowshegott heemailbutheknows
thatshe'sbeenaskingalotofquesti
onssincel
ast
year"
Me:
"yhoSi
ve"
Her
:"
andnowshewant
stocomehome,
meeti
ffor
t
hefir
stt
ime"
Me:"
haveyouguysspokentothesoci
al
dev
elopmentagenciest
hathel
pedwit
htheadopti
on?
Imean,t
her
e'sgottobetheri
ghtwayofdoi
ngthat
"
Her:
"I
'm stuck!Mypar
entswon'
thelpme..
.Idon'
t
knowwhy .It
sli
ket
heydon'
twantthechi
l
dt ofi
ndus
orsomet hing"

Ndat
hul
a..
Ihadnot
hingt
osayy
az,
cozndi
yaf
ananal
amnt
ana
wakhenam
Her
:"
inal
loft
his,
Ihav
en'
ttol
dyourbr
other
"
Me:
"wai
tunt
ilt
hefuner
ali
sov
ert
hent
ell
him,
hehas
t
oheari
tfr
om you"
Her
:"
I'
m scar
ed.Idon'
twannal
oosehi
m Tee"
Me:"youcan'tchoosebetweeny ourchi
ldandaman
Siv
e,she'syourblood.He'
sar easonabl
emanhe'l
l
understandatsomepoi ntevenifhedoesn't
understandnow"
Her
:"
Ihopeso.
..
"

Aft
erafewmoretal
ksIoffer
edherindawoyol
ala
cozsheseemedl
ikesheneededapeaceful
space,
wayov
asaandIcookedsupperbefor
e
att
endi
ngtomybooks.
[
10/
10,
19:
16]‪+27730692704‬:
#244

WhenIwasdonecookingIdi
shedupf
ortwoofus
t
henlef
ther
sintheoven,
whenIwasdoneIst
art
ed
st
udyi
ngcozIreall
yhadto.Iswit
chedallmyphones
of
fforthr
eeful
lhoursseei
ngthatIneededal
lmy
at
tent
ionfi
xedonthesebooks.

Shewokeupwhi
l
eIwasst
udy
ing

Her
:"
I'
m sor
ryi
fI'
m ofanyi
nconv
eni
enceTee"
Me:
"nahdon'
twor
ry,
yourf
oodi
sint
heov
en"
Her
:"
wil
lIbeaski
ngt
oomuchi
fIaskt
osl
eepov
er"
?
Me:"
nope,youcansl
eepkul
aroom youwer
erest
ing
on.I
'
llputonfresht
owel
sforyou"
Her:
"t
hanksal
ot.
..
I'
l
leatupst
air
ssoast
onotdi
stur
b
you"
Me:
"Iguesst
hisi
sgoodni
ghtt
hen"
Her
:"
yep"

Shesmil
edandwenttowar
m herf
oodIconti
nued
st
udyi
ngndadendozel
aIcl
osedal
lbooksand
star
tedeati
ng,
Iswit
chedonephoneon.
..Missed
call
sfrom myfamil
ysoIstar
tedngoMarcndamaz
ngostress'
auyaf
ananjenam

Hi
m:"
dudewe'
vebeencal
l
ingy
ou"
Me:
"Iwasst
udy
ing,
what
'
sup"
Him:
"nah,
Iwasj
ustchecki
ngony
ou.Ev
ery
thi
ng
okay
"?
Me:"yeahman,I
'mjustcat
chingupwi
thmybooks
especial
lysi
nceI'
l
lbewr i
ti
ngexamssoon"
Hi
m:"
yho,
arey
our
eadyt
hough"
?
Me:"Idon'thaveachoi
ce,
i
mmediatel
yaft
erthe
funeralIgott
acomebackIfoundagroupoflaw
studentstostudywit
h"
Hi
m:"
samecour
se"
?
Me:
"yeahbutmost
lyt
heyar
edoi
ngt
hir
dyear
"
Him:"
that
'sbet
ter
,I
'
llper
sonal
l
ymakesureyouret
urn
backri
ghtaway.Wecan'tr
eal
lyaf
for
dy'
all
fai
li
ng"
Me:
"Iknowhey
,wheni
sLi
zzyar
ri
vi
ng"
?
Hi
m:"
she'
shere,
herpar
ent
sar
ecomi
ngonFr
iday
wi
thJuni
or"
Me:
"hol
l
eratherf
ormeman,
Imi
ssy
'al
l
"
Hi
m:"
wil
ldo.
..
her
e'sy
ourot
herbr
other
"

Il
aughedast
hephonesexchangedhands.
..

Him:"y
oubett
erhaveapret
tygoodr
easonwhyy
ou
haven'
tbeentaki
ngourcal
l
s"
Me:
"hel
l
oLuu,
I
'm goodt
hankshowar
eyoubr
other
"

Hebur
stoutl
aughi
ng:
v:v

Hi
m:"
heyI
'
m goodman,
you"
Me:
"gr
eat
.Ij
ustmi
ssy
'al
l"
Him:"
you'
l
lseeusi
nnot
imeman,
Ij
ustmi
ssmy
f
iance"
Me:
"mmh,
whenl
astdi
dyout
alkt
oher
"
Hi
m:"t
wodaysago,It
ri
edcal
l
inghert
odaybuti
t
di
dn'
tgot
hrough"
Me:"
tr
yheragai
ntomor
rowmay
beshe'
sswamped
up"
Hi
m:"
Ithoughtsot
oo.
..Ker
imi
ssesy
ouher
e"
Me:
"t
ell
herIl
oveher
"
Hi
m:"Iwi
ll
..
.Heyy
oushoul
dtal
ktoEv
eman,
she'
s
l
osi
ngit"
Me:
"whatdoy
oumeannow"
Hi
m:"
shehasn'taccept
edt
hatwe'
real
ladopt
edand
i
tsdr
ivi
nghercrazy"
Me:
"cr
azyi
sast
rongwor
dthough"
Him:
"mh,wai
tti
lly
ougethereyou'
l
lseeforyour
sel
f.
Shet
oldNtandoshe'
sgoingtofi
ndherparent
s,wi
th
orwi
thoutourhel
p"
Me:"andwhyonear
thwoul
dshet
ell
Ntandoofal
l
people"
Hi
m:"Iaskedhimtotal
ktohersinceI
'
m seei
ngshe'
s
ki
ndadistanci
ngher
sel
ffrom us"
Me:
"byusy
oumeant
heent
ir
efami
l
y"?
Him:
"yep.Li
keIsai
d,y
ou'
l
lseef
ory
our
sel
fwheny
ou
comeback"
Me:"
that
'ssounl
i
keherthough.
..
andNt
andowas
her
ebutneverment
ionedthat
"
Hi
m:"wel
lyouknowhowhedoest
hings,he'
s
pr
obabl
ynotgonnat
ell
yousi
ncei
tsaf amil
ymat
ter
"
Me:
"expect
ingy
'al
ltot
ell
meneh?Wel
lIknowhi
m
t
oowell"
Hi
m:"
don'
thol
ditagai
nsthi
m,pl
ease"
Me:
"don'
twor
ryabouti
t"

Hi
m:"
okay
,tal
ktoy
ousoonhey
"
Me:
"shar
p"

Wehungup.
Ical
ledEv
e,r
angtwotimesandwentstr
aightt
o
voi
cemail
.It
ri
edheragai
n,
rangonceandwascutof
f
okayIgav
eup.
I
tscl
eart
hatshedoesn'
twannat
alkt
ome.

.
..

OkaysoIspentmyl astfewday sofJoziswamped

i
nbooks, unti
lFr
idayev eni
ngwhenIhadt ofl
yhome
soIar ri
vedkwaLukeandpacked, hi
sf i
ancehad
returnedhomeandIhadn' tspokentotheTitus's
again.ThenIhadt ocallNtandocoznguyeumnt u
wej etbutIcoul
dn'treachhim,hi
sphoneswer e
disconnectedsomehow.It ri
edmybr ot
hers, same
thing.Iendedupcall
ingRangercozIhadhi snumber

Hi
m:"
Tri
nal
i
que,
what
'
sup"
Me:
"hi
,
Ican'
tgethol
doft
aBeast
"
Him:
"He'sbusywithyourbr
other
satt
hemor
tuar
y,
canIassistt
hough"?
Me:
"yeah,
I
'm wai
ti
ngf
orconf
ir
mat
ionba
ndi
zazot
hathwanahorshoul
dIcheckt
heai
rpor
tfor
commercialt
icket
s"?
Hi
m:"
I'
m onmywaywi
thMo,
cany
ouf
indy
ourway
t
otheai
rpor
t"?
Me:
"er
h..
.Icoul
dtr
y"
Hi
m:"
okay
,we'
l
lbet
her
ein15mi
nut
es"
Me:
"okayt
hanks"

Ihungupandcal l
edVince:vhe'smyonl yfri
endmos
hereLolthat'
sifwe'r
ef r
iendsphof.Icouldhave
askedtheguar dstodri
veme, butwhent heytookme
eskol
weni theymentionedgoingoutf orsomeairso
nam andi
f unibengat
hindiyabaabuserabantu
babantu.

Hi
m:"
hey
,what
'
sup"
Me:
"heyuhm,
andi
kuphazami
si"
Hi
m:"
uhm,
no"
Me:
"okay
,Ineedar
idet
otheai
rpor
t"
Hi
m:"
ohokay
,gi
mmet
enmi
nut
es"
Me:
"t
hanks"

Iwaitedout side,l
ockedmybr ot
herspropert
yandi n
afewmi nutesVi nceappearedandhedr ovemet o
theairport,t
hej etarr
ivedanddrovemehome, Iwas
nervoust hough. .
.Idi
dn'tevenmakeconv er
sation
withRanger ,Ijustpl
uggedheadphonesandcl osed
myey est heent ir
efli
ghthewokemeupwhenwe
l
andedandhel pedmewi t
hmyl uggage.

Him:
"akhondawoobawel
augqi
thakuy
obef
oreIt
ake
youhome"?
Me:
"uhm,
ndi
l
ambi
l
ebr
a"
Hi
m:"
Ithoughtso,
uzot
yant
oni
ke"
Me:
"pl
sdr
ivet
oNando'
s,
ify
oudon'
tmi
nd"
Hi
m:"
nopr
obl
em"

Weor
der
edkwi
dri
vet
hrought
henhedr
oveout
.
Hi
m:"
sowear
egoi
ngst
rai
ghthome"
Me:
"yeah"

Itookchi
psandadrinkndaty
aandwait
ed
i
mpat i
ent
ly,
asRangerracedthedar
kst
reet
sofEast
London.
Safi
kaendl i
nihehelpedmeagainwi t
htheluggage
sangena.Itwasqui et
,whit
epeopledon'
treal
lyfi
ll
thehousewi thr
elativ
esorcooktheenti
re
supermarketfort
heent i
recommunity.I
twasasi f
nothi
nghappened, bekunormal
.

Me:
"hel
l
o?Any
onehome"
?

Evecamefort
handwehugged,t
hatst
ronghugphof
If
elthal
fwayt
hatshewascr
ying.
Ipull
edbackandl
ookedather
,shewasr
eal
l
y
cry
ing..
..
Me:
'
'uhm,
thanksRange.I
'
llt
akei
tfr
om her
e"
Hi
m:"
okay
,any
thi
ngel
se"
?
Me:
"ha.
andi
grandbhut
ithanks"
Hi
m:"
nightt
hen"

Waguqukawahamba.
IwalkedEvetot
hecouchandwesatdown...hai
ke
waqalaaphoebeyekekhonaumnt
asekhay
a,Isat
ther
econsoli
ngher.
[
10/
10,
19:
16]‪+27730692704‬:
#254

Shest
opped
Iwentt of
etchwaterforherwasel
aandt henwesat
i
nt hatawkwardsi
lenceforaminute,
Iheardher
rel
easingabreat
h

Me:
"whati
sitt
hatgoty
oul
i
ket
his"
?
Her:
"IguessIhav
en'tr
eal
l
ydeal
twi
tht
hei
r
deat
h...
fr
om dayone"
Me:
"oh"
Her:
"If
eelsoemptyyouknow.Imean,Igr
ewuphere
andIusedtothi
nkI'
mtheir
s,att
hisageIfi
ndoutI
'
m
nott
heirs?Howpossi
blei
sthatthough"
?
Me:
"wel
l
,di
dyouopent
heboxmom gav
eus"
Her
:"
Ihav
en'
tgat
her
edt
hebr
evi
ty,
hav
eyou"
Me:"
no,
Ihaven'
thadti
mebutyoudoknowt
haty
our
answer
sareburi
edinther
e"
Her
:"
yeah.
..Souhm,
howhav
eyoubeen"

Iputmyf
eetup,
yhof
inal
l
y.

Me:"
wellI
'
v ebeenbusywi
thmybooks,
wher
e's
ev
eryonethough"
Her:
'
't
heguyswentt
othemor t
uar
y,Ker
ilef
twi
thMr
s
Ti
tusacoupl
eofhoursago"
Me:
"Mr
sTi
tus?Asi
nFai
th"
?
Her:
"yep,she'
sbeenchecki
nguponustheent
ir
e
week.CreepyifIhav
etosatsomysel
f"
Me:"
that
'swhatI
'mthi
nki
ngtoo.
..
Imean,
she'
sbeen
cal
l
ingmewant i
ngustomeet"
Her
:"
reason"
?
Me:
"Idon'
tknow,
shewoul
dn'
tsayi
tonphone"

Wat
hicwaka.
..
.
Thensheki
ndal
i
kesnappedanddr
oppedherj
aw

Her
:"
Idon'
tbel
i
evewhatj
ustcr
ossedmymi
nd"
Me:
"uh-
oh.
..
yourmi
ndcanbeov
err
atedkeEv
e"
Her:
"noman,t
hiscoul
dbetheonl
yexpl
anat
ionwhy
she'
shaunt
ingyoudownli
keamaniac"
Me:
"whatcoul
dbe"

Wahl
ekaandshookherheadi
ndi
smay
..
.
Iwai
tedwi
thar
aisedbr
ow

Her
:"
whati
fherhusbandi
syourf
ather
"?
Me:
"t
hat
'scr
azy
"
Her:
"I
'm ser
ious,
eit
hershewannawelcomeyoui
n
herhomeashernewdaught eror,
shewannabuyyou
outsoyoucanst ayawayfr
om herfamil
y"
Me:"
yourt
heor
ysucksmnt
ase,
ther
e'snowayI
'
ma
Ti
tus.Noway"
Her:"
cany ouexplai
nwhyy ouneverhadsexwit
hLaa?
Yourinseparabl
ef r
iendshipwit
hSoso?Howshe
tr
eatedyouwhi l
ey oudat edherson?Andthe
fr
iendshi
pbet weent hem andourfather
"?

I
tdawned.
..
.
Ther
e'sahugepossi
bil
i
ty.
..
Asmuchaswhatshewassay i
ngmadesome
sense.
..Ididn'
twannabel
i
evei
t.IcannotbeaTi
tus.
Ha.amt chanam nev
er.
AsIwasaddi ngt woandt wot oget
her,
theboys
walkedinandwehugged.Lwando, Ntando,
Marcus,Luke...Afterhuggingthem Iwenttotakea
showerndakhendahl al
aupstair
sinmyr oom
thi
nkingthingst hrough..
.

Idi
aledSoso.
..

Hi
m:"
missSmi
th"
Me:
"Mr
sTi
tus,
unj
ani
san"
Hi
m:"
I'
m goodnt
wanay
am wena"
Me:
"ndi
shar
p"
Hi
m:"
somet
hingi
sbot
her
ingy
ou"
Me:
"hy
pot
het
ical
l
yspeaki
ngneh"
Hi
m:"
oh-
kay
"
Me:
"howwoul
dyoureacti
fyouf
oundoutt
hatwe'
re
f
amily
?Somehow"
Hi
m:"
how'
sthatpossi
ble?Hy
pot
het
ical
l
yspeaki
ng"
Me:
"Idon'
tknow.
..Justanswert
hequest
ionf
ondi
n"
Hi
m:"wel
lI'
dbehappy
,we'
refr
iendsal
ready
.It
woul
dn'
tbeasawkwardasitwouldbeforLaa"
Me:
"yeahneh"
Hi
m:"
tel
lmewhat
'
sgoi
ngkal
oknt
wana"
Me:"
thewayyourmom i
shunt
ingmedowningat
h
uzot
hisheknowswher
eorwhomybiol
ogi
caldadis"
Him:
"Iwouldn'
tbesur
pri
sedi
fthatt
urnsouttobe
t
rue.
..
thatTit
usmansi
onhassomenast yskel
etons"
Me:
"mh.
..Goodni
ghtsan"
Him:
"ni
ghtbabe.
..Cal
lmewheny
ouneedt
otal
k
neh"
Me:
"wi
l
ldo"

Wehungup.
Iwor
emyPJsandwentdownst ai
rsf
ikawonkumntu
xaef
ikaezot
yai
supper
,IhuggedKeri
apparent
lyshe
boughtt akeawaysonherwaybackwithFaith,
Iwas
quietthewhol eti
me.Phofi
twasmeandEv e..
..Lol
funnyhowweshar edat
ablewi
thourboyfr
iendsand
sibli
ngs.Thisisnotanever
ydaythi
ng..
.mademe
think,
inobauNt andookoebel
alaaphaneh?

Mar
c:"
Tri
na"
?
Isnappedoutandl
ookedar
ound,
well
everyonewas
l
ookingatme:/Iwassoooconf
usedthough

Me:
"mh"
?
Luu:
"ar
eyouokay
"?
Me:
"uh,
yeah.Why
"?
Mar
c:"
I'
vebeent
alki
ngt
oyou"
Me:
"oh.
..
sor
ry"
Ker
i:
"ar
eyousur
eyou'
reokayt
hough"
Me:
"yep.Cany
oupassmet
hesal
tLD"
Heclearedhisthr
oatandpassedmet hesal
t.We
conti
nuedeat i
ng,
whenwewer eal
ldoneIwentto
washthedi sheswit
hEv e.Eachofuswith
headphonesonandpl ayingmusiconourphones,no
conversat
ionwhatsoever.

Whenwewer edonewemadesur ethefl

oorand
ever
ythi
ngelsewascleanthenatt
emptedtogoto
bed,
onlytobecall
edtoafami l
ymeeti
nginthe
l
ounge...
noboy f
ri
endsthi
stime.

Marc:
"souhm,Icall
edthi
smeeti
ngsoastomake
sur
eev er
yoneisreadyandpr
eparedf
ort
omor
row"
Luu:
"i
fany
onehasachal l
engeIbel
iev
ewe'r
esti
l
l
fami
lysowecantalki
tthroughi
fneedsbe,
orwe
cansol
veithowev
erway "
Keri
:"wellonmysi de,
I'
dsuggestweuhm lookfor
prof
essionalhelp.Maybeaft
erthefuner
alyou
know,we'veall
beent hr
oughalot"
Mar
c:"
soundsgood,
that
'
sifweal
lfeel
li
keweneed
t
hatsor
tofhel
p"

Lol
mnanoEv
eokosi
thecwaka.

Luu:
"Ev
ely
n"
Her
:"
yeah"
Him:
"ar
eyouuhm,
hav
ingsomechal
l
engesy
ou'
dli
ke
hel
pwit
h"
Her
:"
uhm..
.Notmuch.I
fyoucan,
I
'dl
i
key
'al
ltohel
p
melookf
ormyrealpar
ents"
Marc:
"checkt
heboxmom gav
eyou,
I
'm sur
ether
e's
ev
eryt
hingyouneedi
nther
e"
Ker
i:
"butwe'
l
lassi
sty
oui
nanywayi
fyouneedi
t"

Mar
c:"
Tee"
Me:
"nahI
'
m good"
Luu:
"yousur
e?Li
ke,
youdon'
tneedany
thi
ng"
?
Me:
"wel
lIdoneedsomeonewho'
sgonnapayf
ormy
st
udi
esf
rom nowon"
Mar
c:"
that
'ssor
ted,
forbot
hofy
'al
l
"
Me:
"t
henI
'
m cool
"
Luu:
"t
henl
et'
sgetsomer
est
,t
omor
rowi
sanot
her
day"

Weal
ldepar
tedt
oourr
ooms.
Aboutf
if
teenmi
nut
esl
aterNt
andocal
l
ed.
..^
_^

Me:
"baby
"
Hi
m:"
hey
,unj
ani
"
Me:
"hah!Buty
ouj
ustsawmenotsol
ongago"
Hi
m:"that
'st
her
easonwhyI
'
m cal
l
ing,
youseemed
di
str
acted"
Me:
"nahI
'
mfi
ne,
getsomer
estsan"
Hi
m:"
sthandwasam"
DaaamnNt ando'
svoicewasont
hatt
ir
edyet
husky
,sexy
,deeptr
ail
,makesy
ouwannadi
gyour
cl
awsdeepi nhisback!

Me:
"myl
ove"
Hi
m:"
Iknowwheny
ou'
renotokay
"
Me:"butbabenjeundert
hecircumst
ancesI
'm okay
ser
ious.Don'tworr
yyoursel
faboutmeI'
m abiggir
l"

Hewassi
l
entf
oramoment
..
.

Hi
m:"
okaykendi
kuy
eki
l
e"
Me:
"Il
ovey
ouf
orcar
ingt
hough,
nobaudi
niwe"
Hi
m:"
we'
rei
nthi
slobet
hingt
oget
herr
emember
?"
Me:
"hm,
thatmypai
nisy
ourpai
nki
ndat
hing"
Hi
m:"
uyay
azi
"
Me:
"yeah,
l
alekamnandi
sthandwasam"
Hi
m:"
yout
oo"
Wehungup.
It
ossedandt
urnedt
heent
ir
eni
ght
.
Under
standabl
e.

Pastt hr
eeIcouldn'ttakei
tanymore,Iwokeupand
wentt omakemy selfsomethi
ngtomunch.Imade
rooibosteandakhangel anobayibananaloaf:
Dcut
threesli
cesandwentt ositel
ounge.

Li
z:
"youokay
"

It
urnedandsmi
l
edather

Me:
"whyar
eyouup"
?
Her
:"
I'
mthi
rst
y,
Iguessy
ou'
rehungr
y"

Wel
aughedasshewentt
otheki
tchencameback
andsatdownwi
thme.

Her
:"
sohowwasy
ourweek"
?
Me:
"busybusy
"
Her
:"
mh.
..Hav
eyouuhm,
foundt
imet
ospeakt
oEv
e"?
Me:
"yeah.
..
why
"
Her:
"she'
sbeendi
stanci
ngher
sel
ffr
om ev
ery
one
si
ncey oul
eft
"
Me:
"Ihear
d..
.she'
l
lbef
ine.Justgi
vehert
ime"

Sat
hicwaka.

Her
:"
youknow,
Iknowi
tsnoneofmybusi
ness"
Me:
"whati
s"?
Her
:"
yourr
elat
ionshi
pwi
tht
hebi
gguy
"
Me:
"t
rue.
..
so.
."
?
Her
:"
it
snosecr
ett
hathel
ovesy
ou,
ever
yonecansee
t
hat
"
Me:
"Isensea'
but
'comi
ng"
Her:
"Ij
ust
..
.Corr
ectmei fI'
m wrongandI
'm sor
ryi
fI
of
fendyou..
.ButIjustdon'
tseetheef
for
tfr
om your
si
deofthi
srelat
ionship"

Wow!
Nowt
hat
'sabl
owIdi
dn'
texpect
.

Me:
"uhm.
..
oh"
[
10/
10,
19:
16]‪+27730692704‬:
#246

Her :
"l
ookIdon'tmeant ounder
miney our
relati
onshipbutI'
veknownhimlongert hanI '
ve
knowny ouandwhenhel oves,
hel
ov esf orreal.You
ont heotherhandisgivi
ngoutconfusingmi xed
signalsthatI
'm sur
eevenhedoesn'tunder standat
ti
mes"
Me:
"huh"
?
Lol
Iwasdumb.
Iwasr
eal
l
ycut
-t
hroat
.
Iwastryi
ngtogetintohersi
deofmyrelati
onshi
p..
.
Li
ke,
thebenchside,wat
cherssi
de.Lol
,
viewerssi
de.
Observ
erssi
de.

Her:
"whenhaveyoueverwantedsomethingfr
om
hi
m andnotgetit
?Hasheev erdeni
edy ouof
anyt
hing?I
'
m prett
ysuretheansweri
sno.Butwhy
don'
tyoueverseethi
ngshisway?Givehim whathe
wants?Andnotarguewit
hhim oranyt
hinghesays"
?

Forasecondt
her
e..
.Iwasangr
y!

Me:"okayEli
zabet
hIhearyou,
andmay beyou'r
eright
okay.Butdoeshecomet oyouforadvi
ce?Like..
.I
wannaunder st
andwhereyougetyourtheor
yofmy
rel
ati
onship"
Her:
"heoncecame..
.andpl
ease,
wewer en't
gossi
pingabouty
oubehindyourback.Hecamet o
someonehet r
ust
sjustsohecanbecl earandI
'
m
al
soawoman"
Me:"
hecamet oy
ou?You?Foradv
iceaboutOUR
r
elat
ionshi
p"?
Her
:"y
es,
l
ikeIsai
ditwasaonce-
offt
hing"
Me:"andy
ousai
dhet
rust
syou?Mor
ethanmeI
guess"
Her
:"
arghdon'tbepett
y,
youhavemal ef
ri
endstoo
t
hatyoutellt
hingsy
oudon'ttel
lhi
m.TakeSosofor
i
nst
ance,youspendagreatdealoft
imewithhi
m
t
hanwithanyofus"
Me:"oh?Ohnowy ou'
regoingtocomparey oursel
f
wit
hSoso?Wel lforoneLi zzy
,Idon'
tdi
scussmy
rel
ati
onshipwit
hSosoNt andoknowsthat.No
matterhowclosewear e,evenifIt
ri
ed,
Sosowoul d
convincemetotellNtandoandbeopent ohi m"
Her:
"whywi
ll
youevenneedconvi
nci
ngfr
om
someoneel
setoopenuptoyourman?Toyoudoes
i
tmakesense"
Me:"andthefactthathetrustsyou.
..Geezhecoul
d
evental
kt oEveIwoul dn'
tcare.WhatdoYOUknow
aboutme?Whatdoy outell
him ke?Whenhecomes
l
ookingforadvice"

Shesi
ghed

Her:
"I'
m notst
art
ingafi
reher
e,Ij
ustwannaadv ice
youtoev al
uat
eyourappr
oachtoy ourr
elati
onship
cozifyouconti
nuethewayyou'r
edoingy oucould
l
oosehi m"
Me:"
wow.Thanky ouEl
izabet
h.Oh,I
'l
lthankhi
mtoo
f
orapproachi
ngyouwhenher eal
izedweneededa
r
elat
ionshi
pcounsel
lor
"
Her:
"that
'snotwhatIam,
youal
soknowthatI
'm not
perf
ectbutIputhardwor
kinmyrel
ati
onshi
pwith
yourbrot
her"
Me:
".
..Seey
oui
nthemor
ning"

Il
efthert
her
enday
olal
a.It
hinkIsl
eptt
woort
hree
hours.WhenIwokeupIswi tchedoffmyphonesand
wentt obat
h,wokeEveupandt ookherson
ndamv asel
awhileshewasbat hi
ng.Idr
essed
Booboookoehl ekasi
ncokol
a^ _^whenhewas
dressedIbathedKeri
'ssonnayendamnxibi
sathenI
tookthem downstai
rsfi
kauLuuesi t
ya

Me:
"mor
ning"
Hi
m:"
hey
,l
ookwho'
slooki
ngdapper
"

Iputt
heki
dsnextt
ohi
m

Me:
"youcanf
eedt
hem,
Ineedt
ogetdr
essed"
Hi
m:"
nopr
o'm"

Iwal
kedbackupst
air
sndakhangel
aimpahl
a.

Ev
e:"
what
chuwear
ing"
?
Me:"
Idon'
tknowhey
..
.Idi
dn'
tev
enbuyany
thi
ngf
or
t
hisfuner
al"
Her
:"
wel
lIhav
eabl
ackdr
essI
'
m sur
eitcanf
ity
ou"
Me:"
okay,
youcanlookt
her
eandseei
fther
e's
any
thingy
ou'l
ll
ike"

Shewentt ofet
chherdr essforme, Iwor eitwith
stockings.IhadaMal aysianweav eonsoIj ustt i
ed
i
tintoabun, putonblackgl i
tteringst uds,
necklaceka
Ntandoandawat chthenIwor esil
v erplat
for m heel
s.
Shewor emyhigh-waistcottonbl ackski rt
,black
platf
orm heels,
darkgreychi f
font opandabl ack
blazerthenwebot happl i
edmi nimum make- up
sahambaandwentdownst ai
r swher eev eryonewas
rushingout..
.

Wedi dn'
tevengetachancet oeat,
Iwasn'thungr y
though.Weallgatheredatchurchforami nisermon
beforewewentt othecremationcenterwherewe
crematedbothofthem andcol l
ect
edt hei
rashes
andnowonl yfamilyheadedtothei
rfav or
it
ef ar
m
andbur
iedt
hei
rashest
her
e.I
twast
hei
rwi
sh.

OnourwayhomeIwaswi t
hLukeandKerii
nthecar
,
EvewaswithMarcandLi
zthenLwandowaswith
hi
sfamil
y,Ntandohi
scr
ew..
..
andsofor
th.

LuudrovetoWi mpyj
usttogrababit
e..
.Iwassi
lent
thr
oughouttoday,
Idi
dn'
tevencryatt
hecr emat
ion.
Wesataroundat abl
e,
thethr
eeofus
Luuwentt
oor
derf
oral
lofus

Ker
i:
"baby"
Me:
"mmh"
Her
:"t
alkt
ome,
howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng.You'
vebeen
qui
et"
Me:
"I
'mf
ine"
Her
:"
arey
ousur
e"?
Luucameback.
.

Hi
m:"
Iuhm,
hear
dyouandLi
zthi
smor
ning"
Me:
"oht
hat
"
Ker
i:
"whathappened"
Hi
m:"
Evewasgi
vi
nga101onr
elat
ionshi
pmat
ter
s"
Me:
"youmeanonMYr
elat
ionshi
p"
Ker
i:
"whatdoessheknowabouty
ourr
elat
ionshi
p"?
Me:
"al
ot.Yhoshesai
dal
ot"
Hi
m:"
wel
lfr
om whatIsawy
ouwer
en'
ti
mpr
essed"
Me:"
yout
oowoul
dn'tbei
mpr
essedi
fIcamet
otel
l
youhowt
olov
eSive"
Ker
i:
"shet
oldony
oul
i
ket
hat
"?
Me:"
notinsomanywor dst
hough,
appar
entl
yhe
conf
idedonherabouthowdif
fi
cul
tIcanbe"
Hi
m:"
whaoh"
Ourf
oodcamet
hrough.
..
Ist
art
edeat
ing

Keri
:"
Idon'
twanty'
al
lfi
ghti
ng,
thetimingi
snotr
ight
.
Justfor
getwhat
evershesai
d.Please"
Me:
"I
'm sur
ethat
'swhaty
ouwoul
ddoi
fyouwer
ein
myshoes"
Luu:"
okayshecoul
dber i
ght,
orwr
onginwhatev
er
shesaidbutIdon'
tthi
nkitwasi
nherpl
acetosay
thosethi
ngs"
Me:
"mypoi
ntexact
ly"
Keri
:
"shecan'
trev
ersewhatshe'ssai
dnowcanshe?
Canwenotgetwor kedupoversomethi
ngsolitt
le?
Maybeshewast r
yingtopr
otectNtandoforal
lwe
know"
Luu:"
mmh,
canwejusteatupandgohome?The
other
swi
ll
star
tcal
li
ngsoon"

Weal
lat
eupandheadedhome,
whenwer
eached
homeIwal kedri
ghtupst
air
sandshowered.Isaton
thatshowerfl
oorandevery
thi
ngdawnedonme.

Me:
"nowI
'
m anor
phan.Iwonderhowl
i
fewi
l
lbe"

Cl
osingmyey esandremember i
ngmyearl
ydays
wi
thmyownmot her,
hahathegoodst
ori
esshe
woul
dt el
lme.WhenIr ememberedmyfi
rstti
measa
Smit
h:)thesepeopl
ewer ereal
l
yoneofakind.

Idon'
tknowhowlongI'
vebeentherebutIhear
d
bangi
ngonmybathroom doorndaphakama,myski
n
pal
engamanzi.
Iopenedthedoorgqi
ngoLi
zzynoSi
ve,
Ilookedat
them conf
used

Si
ve:
"hey
,ar
eyouokay
?We'
vebeencal
l
ingy
ou"
Li
z:
"andi
tscl
eary
ou'
vebeenher
eforawhi
l
e"
Ij
ustturnedandtookanothert owel
,wipedmybody
astheywalkedinIwalkedout .Ndayohlal
a
er
oomi n,
phofOoEv ebahlel
i apha,
Keriwaslooki
ng
worri
edbutEvewasj ustli
steningtoherheadphones
wangqengqaonmybed.Iwal kedovertothe
dr
essingtabl
eandl ot
ionedmybodyi nsil
ence

Ker
i:
"wher
ear
eyourphones"
Me:
"under
neat
hthatpi
l
low"

Sheli
ft
edi
tupandr
eal
i
zedt
hatt
heywer
eswi
tched
off
.

Li
zandsivewal
kedaway
,leav
ingmeandmy
si
bli
ngs.

Me:"
I'
m goodguy
smanIhopey
'al
lwer
en'
t
pani
cki
ng"
Ev
e:"
Itol
dthem y
ou'
reokay
,Li
zar
djustt
hinksshe
knowsbet
tert
hant
her
estofus"
Ker
i:
"Ev
edon'
tst
art
"

Lol
sahl
ekanoEv
e

Ev
e:"
taBeasthasbeenaski
ngf
ory
ou"
Me:
"oh.
..
pleasepassmemyt
abEv
e"

Shepassedmet
het
ab,
Ker
ilef
tasIcal
l
edNt
ando.
[
10/
10,
19:
16]‪+27730692704‬:
#247

Hisphonewentst r
aighttoVM Itr
iedt
hesecondone.
Itr
iedthesecondonel eavi
ngthebusi
nessphonefor
thelastt
rybutshamet hisonephonerangacoupl
e
mor eti
mesbeforehepi ckedup

Hi
m:"
hel
l
o"
Me:
"hey
,unj
ani
"
Hi
m:"
goody
ou"
Me:
"good,
uthi
uEv
eubundi
funa"
Him:
"Iwasj
ustaski
ngsi
nceIl
astsawy
ouat
chur
ch"
Me:
"oh,
okayshar
p"

Cwaka.

Me:
"babe"
Hi
m:"
ushar
p"
Me:
"ndi
rytbabe"
Hi
m:"
I'
m goi
ngbackt
oCTl
atenamhl
anj
esoI
'
dli
ke
t
oseeyou"
Me:
"okay
,uphi
ngoku"
Hi
m:"
backy
ard,
kut
hwawe'
rehav
ingabr
aai
"
Me:
"oohokay
"
Hi
m:"
soy
ou'
l
lmakeachance"
Me:
"yeah"
Hi
m:"
shar
p"

Hehungup.

It
urnedt
oEv
e

Me:
"t
her
e'sabr
aai
att
hebacky
ard"
?
Her
:"
uhy
eah,
theboy
sar
eact
ual
l
yther
e"
Me:
"oh"

Heputherphonedownandwat chedmeasIgot
dressed.Ifwe'
rehavi
ngabraait
henI'
m defi
nit
ely
dressi
ngf orabraai
.Iwor
eshortsandavestwith
fl
opst henIsatdownnexttoher
.

Me:
"what
'sup"
Her
:"
Idon'
tknow.
..It
hinkI
'
vehadenoughofl
i
zar
d
al
ready
"
Me:
"what
'sshedonet
oyou"
Her
:"shet
hinksIdon'
trespectmyboyf
ri
end,
Ital
k
any
howt ohiminfrontofevery
one"
Me:
"doy
ou"
?
Her
:"askherkal
oksheknowsbest
.Justl
i
keher
boy
friend"
Me:
"l
et'
sratherkeepoutofherway.
..Pr
ett
ysoon
we'
l
lbereturni
ngtoJo'bur
gshe'l
lbegoi
ngtoCTand
we'
l
lkeepitatthat"
Her
:"
mmh.Cummonl
et'
sgoj
oint
her
estoft
he
f
amily
"

Wef ol
lowedeachotherdownthestai
rs,
andoutto
thebackyardLolsomesortofapoolpar
tyneh?Or
aft
ertears?Well
Isti
ll
havenocluewhattheycal
led
i
t.

Isatwi
thLuucozbaewasbyt
hef
ir
ewi
thGudda:
v
:vreal
l
y ?Loosancokolanjeewethuast
hebraai
wentonandone, Idi
dn'tevengocloset
oNtando
butwekeptav er
ycool contactl
i
keeyei
ngorsmil
ing
casual
lytoeachother.

Li
z:
"uhm,
Teecany
oucomeandhel
pme"
Me:
"sur
e"

Everol
l
edhereyesatme,
Ker
isl
appedherar
m
ndamhlekacozt
her
ewasnoneed.
Wereachedthehouseandsher emovedsal
adsfrom
t
hefri
dgeIlookedatt hetubso.
Owhendidtheydo
t
hese?Lolno,Idon'
treall
ywantananswer
.

Me:
"soI
'
m hel
pingy
ouwi
tht
hese"
Her
:"
yeah.
..ButI
'
vegotabonet
opi
ckwi
thy
ouf
ir
st"
Me:
"goahead"
Her:
"ourconversat
ionear
li
er.
..Iwoul
dn'
tli
kei
tto
becomebar r
ierbetweenus.Li
keIsai
d,I
'
m sor
ryi
fI
of
fendedy
ou"
Me:
"f
orgi
ven"
Her:"
notthatIseeanychange,
Imeanyourboyf
ri
end
hasbeenaski ngyourwher
eabout
ssincewecame
backfrom thecremati
onbutyouhav
en'tmadeti
me
toreachouttohim"

Iputt
het
ubsbackandl
ookedatt
hisgi
rl
..
..
She'
sunbel
i
evabl
e.

Me:
"Ineedaf
avorf
rom y
ouLi
zzy
"
Her
:"
okay
"
Me:
"pl
ease.Pl
ease.St
ayoutofmybusi
ness.Pl
ease"
Her
:"
awTee?I'
m noti
nyourbusi
nessI
'
mjustst
ati
ng
t
heobvi
ous"
Me:"
hell
o!Idon'
tcarewhet herit
sobv i
ousor
obl
i
viousbutIwon'thavey oudictat
ehowIlovemy
man,howtoruntherelat
ionship.Noplease"
Her:
"Iwasjusthel
pingyouasanolderwomant o
you,
yoursist
er-
in-
lawfort
hatmatt
er.IfIdon'
tadvi
ce
youtowardstheri
ghtdir
ecti
ont
henwhowi l
l"
?

Ihadbot
hmyhandsonei
thersi
deofmywai
st.

Me:"oh?I
sthatso?Hepr
omisedtof
inall
yputar
ing
onitnowthatwe'r
eal
lor
phans?OrwaitYOUthi
nk
he'
l
l marr
yyounow?Wow" !
Her:"
Iknowhe'l
lmarryme,we'reinarightpl
ace.But
nowwe' r
enottal
kingaboutmer ight?Youar ethe
probl
em,babygir
lfi
xy our
self
!Fixyourrelat
ionshi
p
andbettery
et,f
ixthatrot
tenatti
tude"

Hol
yfl
i
pshedi
dNOTsayt
hat
.
Marcuswal
kedi
n..
.Somehowwewer
ebot
hfumi
ng
wi
thanger

Hi
m:"
babewhat
sgoi
ngi
nher
e"?
Her
:"
jousi
stermaakmykwaad,
j
ershe'
shasJo
mannerswhatsoev
er"
Me:"
haha!Real
l
ynowLizzy
?Whydon'
tyout
ell
my
br
othert
hatyouwantmetobel
i
keyou"?
Her
:"
bel
i
keme?Inev
ersai
dthat
"
Mar
c:"
guy
s,we'
real
li
nher
ether
e'snoneedt
oshout
"
Me:"goahead,t
ellhi
my ouwantmet ocheatonmy
boyfri
endwithoneofhi sni
qqaz,haveachild,
drop
outofschool,l
iv
ewi ththesameboy fr
iendIcheat
ed
onandt henthr
eey earsdownthelineremember
thatschool
'ssti
l
limpor t
antandgoback"

Mar
cwast
urni
ngpi
nk.
..

Her
:"
nowy
ou'
vegoti
ttwi
sted!Inev
er.
..
"
Me:"hel
l
omi ssrelat
ionshi
pexpert,
ify
ouknowbett
er
thenYOURr el
ati
onshipwithMarcusismost
probabl
ytheperfectone.Am Iri
ght?Sof
rom now
on,j
ustt
ogety ouoffmyback. .
.I'
l
ldoex-
"
Mar
c:"
Tri
nal
i
queshutup"
!!
!

OhIshutup!
Ont
her
eal
.

Il
ookedather
,ar
msf
olded

Hi
m:"
gimmeami
nut
etot
alkt
oLi
z,
goanj
oint
he
ot
her
s"
Me:
"I
'v
elostmyappet
it
e"

Iwal
kedt
omyr
oom andshutt
hedoordown.

Icall
edNt
ando,myangerwast oomuch:/Iam not
surewhet
herIwasangrybecauseofwhatshesaid
orshewasjustar
eboundtothepainIwasfeel
ing.

Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"cany
oudr
ivemet
othebeach"
Hi
m:"
erh.
..Butt
hebr
aai
?Ar
eyoucr
ying?
"
*
sni
ff
*
Me:
"no,
Ij
ustneedsomeai
r"
Hi
m: "
Icangi
vey outhecar
,Idon'twanty
ourbr
other
t
hinki
ngI'
m abusingthepr
ivi
lege"
Me:
"okay
,pl
ssendGuddawi
tht
hekey
"
Hi
m:"
makesur
eyout
akeaphonewi
thy
ou"
Me:
"sur
e"

Itookahoodieandwentout ,
bumpingontothese
twohuggingitout
..
Iwalkedpassedthem andsaw
Guddacomi ngndayomli
ndangaseemot weni.Hr
gavemet hekeysandabankcar d,
Ididn'
ttakei
tcoz
Ihadmoneyi nmywal l
etndaqhubandayotsho
elwandl
e.

Isawthei
cecream manndat
hengaandj
ust
watchedt
hehori
zon.
Her
:"
IknewI
'
llf
indy
ouher
e"
Wi
thoutt
urni
ngIknewi
tsEv
e

Me:
"what
chudoi
ngher
e"
Her:
"Marcsentmetocomelooki
ngf
ory
ou,
aft
era
br
awl y
ouhadwi t
hhisf
loozi
e"
Me:
"I
'm get
ti
ngsi
ckofher
,Iswear
"

Shebur
stoutl
aughi
ng.

Her
:"
Itol
dyou"
[
10/
10,
19:
16]‪+27730692704‬:
#248

Me:"
EveI'
m seri
ous.I
tsnotbeen24hour
safterour
par
entsburi
alnowsuddenlywehaveapsychoti
c
mother
?Hellno"!
Her
:"
I'
mleav
ingEastLondont
omor
row,
ify
ou'
re
st
ayi
ngbehi
ndt
henI
'
llseey
oui
nJozi
myl
ove"
Me:
"wel
lat
leastyou'
regoi
ngwithLwando,
Ist
il
lhav
e
t
otal
ktoLi
zzy '
scli
entbef
oreIgo"

Shebur
stoutwi
thl
aught
er.
..

Her:
"Ev
eryLi
zardspi
ri
tinj
ect
ingandrubbi
ngof
fon
ourmen!OutbytheBl
oodofJesus"!
Me:
"Fi
re"
!

:
v:v

Westay
edaf ewmoreminut
esthendr
ovear
ound,
I
cal
l
edNtandoangapani
ckakhul
u.

Hi
m:"
Sibongi
l
e"
Me:
"sey
phel
i
lei
braai
"?
Hi
m:"nouphi
wena"
Me:
"onmywaywi
thEv
e"
Hi
m:"
nenzani
noEl
i
zabet
h"
Me:
"sezoxel
akuwe"
?
Hi
m:"
I'
m aski
ng,
nenzani
"
Me:
"she'
sput
ti
ngmei
nmypl
ace"
Hi
m:"
thenwhyi
sshecr
yingi
nsi
de"
Me:"
Idon'
tknow,
I
'm att
hebeachIl
eftherwi
thher
boy
fri
end"
Hi
m:"
youbet
terhav
enot
hingt
odowi
thi
t"

Di
dIhearcor
rect
ly?

Me:
"andi
va"
?
Hi
m:"
youbet
terhav
enot
hingt
odowi
thi
t"
Me:
"mh,
seey
ouj
ustnow"
Hi
m:"
sur
e"
Hehungup,
Il
ookedatEv
eandt
henbackt
omy
phone.

Me:
"It
hinkourdecl
arat
iondi
dn'
treachheav
en"
Her:
"he'
staki
nghersideobv
iousl
y.Iknow,Idon'
t
wantLwandospendingmuchtimewi t
hthese
guys,
he'
llt
urnagai
nstmeprett
ysoon"
Me:
"bet
tert
akehi
m awaysana"

Welaughedandjokedaboutthi
stil
lwereached
home,Ipar
kedandgotout.
..
webot hwalkedin.Ther
e
wasnoonei nsi
desowewal kedtotheback,she
wenttohermanIwenttogiveNtandohiskey s.

Hepulledmeaside,
wewalkeddownthepond,
it
sa
verysecl
udedar
eaattheback.Awayfr
om peopl
e'
s
sit
e.

Hi
m:"
Sibongi
l
eut
heni
kuLi
zzy
"?
Me:
"ndi
theni
?Aboutwhat
"
Hi
m:"
Iheardy'
al
lgoingonandonbef
orey
ouwentt
o
t
hebeach,
beni
senzani
"
Me:
"oht
hat
.It
snot
hingwet
hu"
Hi
m:"
it
snot
hingy
eti
tlef
theri
napool
oft
ear
s"

Il
ookedathi
m..
..Haykodwali
zar
dshouldgiv
eme
someofwhatshe'
susing>_
<itswor
kingforher
str
u'bob!

Me:"wellLi
zzywasj ustgivi
ngmel essonsorrather
t
ips..
.hayandiyazwhatt ocall
it.Butanyway
,lonto
i
yiyokeebey enzel
ai rel
ati
onshipyethuasshe
r
eckonsweneedexper tadvi
ce"
Hi
m:"
weneedexper
tadv
ice?Forwhat
"?
Me:
"Idon'tknow.Youtel
lme,si
ncey
ouwentt
oher
f
oradviceinthefi
rstpl
ace"

Hechuckl
edandshookhi
shead.
Hi
m:"
you'
renotser
ious,
thatwaswhat
?Thr
eet
osi
x
mont
hsago"?
Me:"
appar
ent
lyIneverseet
hingsy
ourway
,Inev
er
gi
veyouwhatyouwant,Ial
waysfi
ghty
ouandargue
wi
thyouoneveryt
hing"
Hi
m:"
..
..Ooh"
Me:"andyouwenttoherbecauseshe'
sawoman
thatyoutr
ustsi
nceIal
sohav eSosowhom It
rust
.
Right?"
Hi
m:"
nowt
hat
'
sri
dicul
ousandy
ouknowi
t"
Me:"
herwords,
notmine.Andcometothinkofi
t,
she
wassosureofever
ywor dshewassayingasi
fshe
knowsthei
nsandoutsofourrel
ati
onship"

Wat
hul
a

Hi
m:"
sowhatdi
dyousayt
oher
"
Me:
"It
oldherwher
etogetof
f"
Hi
m:"
sot
hat
'swhyshe'
scr
ying"
Me:
"may
be"
Hi
m:"haikodwababe,
shewast
ryi
ngt
ohel
pshe
wasn'
tinterf
eri
ngnj
e"
Me:"notfrom wher
eI'm st
anding,
youknow...Some
ofthethingsshesaidweretruebutIdon'
texpect
them fr
om her"
Him:
"atleasti
khonai
ntooy
fumeney
okekul
ent
o
ebey
ithetha"
Me:"
wellshemademefeel
li
keI
'm nai
ve.Tell
me
somethi
ng,doyouf
eel
chokedi
nthisr
elati
onshi
p"?

Wandi
j
onga.
..

Hi
m:"chokedhow"
Me:"Nt
andoIknowndi
yadika,
you'
vet
oldme
countl
esst
imeshowchil
dishIam"
Hi
m:"
so"
Me:
"gi
venaChance,
woul
dyoul
eav
eme"
Hi
m: "
ifIwantedtol
eaveIwoul
dhavelef
tyou
al
ready.I
'm her
ebecauseIl
oveyou"
Me:"Iknowt hat
,butsi
nceIdon'tmakeasmuchofan
eff
ortkulerelat
ionshi
p.Idon'
treal
l
yunder
standhow
youcanl ov
eumnt ukanj
alo"

Wakhewat
hul
a.
Isatdownonar
ockandwai
ted.
..
.
Hehadt
osaysomet
hing.Hehadt
o.

Hi
m:"
ufunandi
thi
niS'
bongi
l
e"?
Me:
"andi
yazbabe"
Hi
m:"
butufunandt
het
he.Idon'
tknowhowtoexpl
ain
t
oyouuthandol
wam fory
ouifthat
'swhaty
ouwant"
Me:"
canyoutel
lmet
his,
doy
ouhav
eapr
obl
em wi
th
Lwandi
so"?
Hi
m:"
whywoul
dI"
?
Me:
"Idon'
tknow.Doy
ou"
Him:"
I'
m noteenagerwho'
safrai
dofushi
ywa
zi
ntangazakhe,IknowmyplaceandIknowwhatI
deserv
einar el
ati
onshi
p"
Me:"f
rom whatIhearI '
m notgivi
ngyouwhaty ou
deserve,sondi confusedkengokbecozf r
om here
I
'm goingst r
aighttoJo'burgbecauseschoolis
pri
ori
tykum.Wi ll
thatalsocomeoutasi fIdon'tcar
e
howy ouf eel
?ThatIdon' tcareaboutyourneeds"?
Hi
m:"y
ouknowIencour
agey
out
ost
udyandi
yaz
l
ent
oundi
buzayona"
Me:"t
rueI
'
m aski
ngthewrongper
son.May
beI
shoul
dspeaktoEli
zabet
h"
Hi
m:"
stopi
t.Okay
!Justst
op"
Me:
"sundshout
a"
Him:"
fuckman!Getoveri
t,
shetol
dyouthet
rut
h
ut
shonawenowf ixyourer
ror
sandstopwhini
ng.
Geez"

Il
ookedatNt
ando.
May
beIdon'
tdeser
vehi
m ny
hani
.

Me:
"It
hinky
ou'
rewi
tht
hewr
onggi
rl
"
Hel
ookedatme
Andshookhi
sheadi
ndi
sbel
i
ef

Hi
m:"
sowhatnow?Webr
eakup"
?
Me:
"i
fyouf
eel
that
'
swhatweneed"
Hi
m:"
Ithi
nkt
hat
'swhatYOUneed,
areal
i
tycheck"
Me:
"Isee"
Him:"sothi
sisi
t?You'
renotev
enwi
l
li
ngt
otr
y
harder"
?
Me:"Idon'twannaloosey ou,
Idon'
tseemylif
eeven
afootdistanceawayfrom youbutIdothi
nkweneed
someper specti
vehere.Idon'
twannablame
you,
may beI'mtheonewhohasl ostthepl
ot"
Hi
m:"khawyenzesi
mpl
ekeS'
bongi
l
elent
o
uy
thethay
o"
Me:
"canweuhm,
justt
akeabr
eak?Pl
ease"
Hi
m:"
arey
ousur
ethat
'swhaty
ouwant
"
Me:
"ei
ntl
i
kno,
butIt
hinki
tswhatIneed"

Wat
hul
a.
Igotupandwal kedupt ohim...Hi
schestwasso
welcomi ng.Itouchedhi sbreastpl
ateandlookedat
him,Iwashur ti
ng.St ru'
bobbutIcan'treal
lyexpect
himt ositaroundandwai tforhimtofinall
ygr owup
nowcanI ?It
sunf aironhim,Lizisri
ght.Idon'tmake
anef f
ortbecauset houghhemakesanef fortIdon'
t
seeitcozI '
m notf ocusedoni tnorhim,I
'mf ocused
onmy self
..
.It
sbet tertohim go.

Me:
"Il
ovey
ouZ'
khal
i
,kakhul
u"

Hi
shandshel
dmywai
st.

Hi
m:"
I'
m notbr
eaki
ngupwi
thy
ou,
I
'mj
ustgi
vi
ngy
ou
space"
Me:
"babe"
Him:"
nodon'tsayit.Iwon'
tbebul
l
iedi
ntoasome
nonsensi
cal
br eakup"

Icl
osedmyeyesandki
ssedhi
m,weki
ssed.We
hadn'
ti
nalongti
me.
[
10/
10,
19:
17]‪+27730692704‬:
#249

Idi
dn'
twannabr
eakt
heki
ss.
Goshthisisnotthemanofmydr eamsbuthei sone
hell
uvalovi
ngman, nooneeverdreamsofdatinga
gangsta.He'
sbeent hereandhe'
sstil
lher
e..
.maybe
ubumuncubut hatheindawoyabokodwaaphakum
nyhanishame.

Hepul
l
edbackandki
ssedmyf
orehead.
Ikeptmyey
escl
osedandl
etat
earr
oll
down.
Hi
m:"
kamnandi
uyay
azandi
yi
yol
aty
pei
l
ahl
way
o"
Ichuckl
ed.
..
that
'st
rue:
v

Me:
"Ihopewe'
renotenemi
es"
Him:
"youcan'
taff
ordt
obemyenemy ,
and
besi
des,
thi
sisonl
yabreaknotabr
eak-
up"
Me:
"awsekhoconf
identnj
e"
Him:"
unl
ikeyouIknowwhatIwant ,
andIdon'
tl
etgo
unti
lImaint
ainandsecur
eitper
fectl
y"

Ikissedhi sli
psandweheadedt othehouse,well
that'sit.Ourbreak.Orbreakup.Idon'tknowwhichis
whi ch.Wewal kedi nl
ikenothinghappenedand
ever yonewashav i
ngadop, wej oi
nedinand
l
aughed, pl
ayedchessandt henNt andospokeup.

Hi
m:"
erhm,
Mohasar
ri
ved.That
'smyque"
Mar
c:"
oh,
l
emmehel
pyouwi
tht
hel
uggage"

Bahambake,every
onei nfactbesi
dest
hegi
rl
s.Lol
Evejustswi
tchedont heTVandt ur
nedupt
he
vol
umeonTr aceUr ban.

Nt
andowentoutf
ir
st

Hi
m:"
awbawel
iundi
khaphaNal
i
que"

Il
aughedandf
oll
owedaf
terhi
m cozIknewi
tssome
ki
ndofatrap:
v

Wereachedhi
scarandst
oodr
ightnextt
oit
,l
eani
ng
oni
t.

Hi
m:"
sondel
afondi
n"
Iwasaf
ootawayf
rom hi
m,soIj
ustst
eppedf
orwar
d
andwewer
eabr
eat
haway

Hi
m:"
somyf
ri
end,
whencanIcomev
isi
tyou"
Me:
"I
'm pr
ett
ybusyt
hiswhol
eweek"
Hi
m:"
weekend"
?
Me:
"t
hat
'si
fwe'
l
lst
ayi
ndoor
s.ButNt
ando,
i
sitwi
se"
?
Him:
"mh,
Iwon'
tanswert
hat.Butr
emembert haty
ou
owemeandI'
ll
comecollectmybelongi
ngs"

Ismi
l
ed.
Hepull
edmeevenmorecl
oseranthenweki
ssed.
Aft
erawhi
leIpul
l
edoutandki
ssedtheti
pofhi
s
nose.

Me:
"uhambekak'
hl
eJoj
o"
Hi
m:"
enkosi
sthandwasam"

Wehugged.
Theguyscamewit
hhisbags,
thei
rbagstooaba
bahambanayet
hentheyl
eftasIret
urnedi
nsi
de

Me:
"ni
ghtev
ery
one"
Ker
i:
"ni
ghtsweet
ie"

Evegotupandf
oll
owedmeandwewentt
oher
room.

Her
:"
so,
whathappened"
Me:
"weuhm,
tookabr
eak"
Her
:"
youbr
okeup"
Me:
"somet
hingl
i
ket
hat
"
Her:
"wellIdon'
tknowwhattosay.You'
rebrav
eI
guess.Idon'tt
hinkIwoul
dbeli
kethisaf
terabreak
up"
Me:
"i
twassomeki
ndofamut
ual
agr
eement"
Her
:"
ohokay
"
LolIwasn'
tgonnaarguenoEv ebymaki
ngher
underst
andsoIjustl
eftherandwentt
obed.

Imusthav
efal
l
enasleepr
ightawaycozIwas
wokenupbymynonstopr
ingi
ngphone

Me:
"mmh"
Hi
m:"
ndi
hambekak'
hl
ebabe"
Me:
"ohokay
.I'
l
lcal
lyoui
nthemor
ning"
Hi
m:"
shar
p"

Wehungupndaphi
ndandal
ala.

I
nt hemorningIwokeup,
packedmybagsandwent
tobath.Bef
oreIgotdr
essedIsatdownandcal
l
ed
him

Hi
m:"
mh"
Me:
"ohkungonaul
eley
owenangoku"
Wahl
eka
Hi
m:"
yho,
ugr
and"
Me:
"ndi
shar
pwena"
Hi
m:"
dope.Imi
ssy
out
hough"
Me:
"nam yaz.
..
may
bei
tsbecauseoft
hisdeci
si
onwe
t
ooklastni
ght"
Hi
m:"I
'
m onl
ysupport
ingthatishbecauseIwantyou
t
ofocusonschoolworkotherthanthat
,I
'
m st
il
lyour
manandyou'
resti
l
lmywi fe"
Me:
"hahaha!Okay
,not
ed.Mov
ingr
ightal
ongcanwe"
Heal
sol
aughed

Hi
m:"
I'
m bei
nghonestwi
thy
ouy
azbabe"
Me:
"kodwababeyou'r
enothelpi
ng.You'
rej
ust
maki
ngthi
sthingalotmoreharder
"
Hi
m:"
haha!Br
eakupsar
en'
tsupposedt
obeeasy
"
Me:
"ha.
anal
ovel
endl
elawenzangay
oissabot
age
ser
ious"

Wespokesomemor ethenIgotdressed.Andwent
downstai
rsandmadebreakf
astformy sel
f,
just
cer
eal.

Li
zwal
kedi
nasIwaseat
ing

Her
:"
mor
ning"
Me:
"hi
"
Her:
"would'
vebeenkindify
out
houghtofmaki
ng
br
eakfastforev
eryone"
Me:
"t
houghty
'al
lar
esl
eepi
ng"
Her
:"
ory
ou'
rej
ustbei
ngsel
fi
sh.Asal
way
s"

Ij
ustlef
thert
hereandwenttothel
ounge,
bumpi
ng
ont
oMar cusandLukeonthei
rwaytothel
oungeas
well
.
Her:"
youcanwalkoutonmeasmuchasy oul
ikebut
youcan'tr
unawayf r
om thet
rut
h,y
ou'
reoneself
ish
l
itt
lebratt
hatdoesn'
tknowthemeani
ngof
appreci
ati
on"

Mybr other
slookedatme,
Ishrugged.Luujoinedme
elounge,Marcwenttoher
..
..Hesaidsomet hingina
l
owv oiceyhowaphambanauLi zzywathukisela

Her :
"Oh?SonowIgot tashutup?Ekwilni
ekakv at
nie.Jousister
sar erude,
hull
eisgemors.Iwon'thav
e
them underminingmeandspeaki nganyhowt ome.
Especiall
ynotTr ina!Ofallpeopl
enother,
just
becauseshedat est aBeastdoesn'
tmeanshe'smy
bosst oo.Yeshemayhav ethemoneyandt he
i
nf l
uencebutfuckIwon' ttol
erat
ethatr
ubb-"

OhkayIwalkedbackint
othatkit
chentorinsemy
bowl.ShegrabbedatmyhairIscreamed.AndLuu
pul
l
edmeback

Mar
c:"
Eli
zabet
h!Fuckwhat
'
swr
ongwi
tchu"
Luu:
"t
akehert
oyourr
oom,
I
'l
ldeal
wit
hTee"
Me:
"whyi
sshepul
l
ingmyhai
r"
?
Mar
c:"
Liz"
?
Her
:"
don'
tfuckenLi
zme"
Mar
c:"
I'
ll
fucky
ouupi
fyoudon'
tshutupnow"
Her
:"
fucky
ouMar
cus!Fucky
ou"

Ohokay..
..Iuhm,wasnowconfused.Tothe
maximum point.Ei
therLi
zisr
eal
lypsychot
icor
she'
scrushingonmyman.

Whoahwai
t.
..
.

Yes!
Lizhasacrushont aBeast
!That'
swhyshe'
sso
prot
ectiv
eofhim andhowIt r
eathi
m:owellt
hat
's
theonlyexpl
anat
ionIcouldcometo:/ohmygoll
y!

Me:
"youbet
ternotbeonwhatIt
hinky
ou'
reon"
Mar
c:"
drugs?Noman,
that
'sabsur
d"
Me:
"sheknowswhatI
'
mtal
ki
ngabout
"

Il
ookedather
..
.Shegav
emeonecheekyl
ook.

Her
:"
andi
fIam"
Me:"
I'
ll
f uckyouupmy sel
fy ou'
l
ltakemypl aceinj
ail
r
ightafteryou'v
esti
tchedy ourscarsatthehospit
al
I
'mtell
ingy ou.Don'
trubmeupt hewr ongway "
Marc:"
whatthehel
lisgoi
ngonher
enow?Whatar
e
youtal
kingabout
"?

Il
ookedatLi
zandshookmyhead
Me:
"youai
n'
tgotnoshame.Si
es"
Her:
"whoar
eyout
ojudge?Huh?Mi
ssgoodyt
oo
shoes"
?

Isizedherup.
..
utheesany
ev ul
andamncedi sa
ngempama.Wot hukanoLukebandi phuncukenj
ani
wandibambaandt ookmet ohisroom, Ev
eandKeri
alsocamedownl ostandquestioni
ngKwenzekani.

Tchi
nli
yandi
qhel
ael
il
awu.
[
10/
10,
19:
17]‪+27730692704‬:
#250

IsatonLuke'
sbedt
hinki
ng.
Every
thingshewassay i
ngthesepastf ewday swere
accurat
e.Ifshedidn'thaveanotheragendaIwoul d
sayshewasr eal
l
yl ooki
ngoutformyhappi nesscoz
comet othinkofit
,shewast el
li
ngt het
r ut
h...
ona
benchersviewofmyr el
ati
onship.Notonmyv i
ew
>_
<.
Mybrotherwassay
ingsomethi
ng,
Iwashearing
somethi
ngelseunt
ilhepul
l
edmyearIscreechedt
o
att
ent
ion

Me:
"mmh"
?
Hi
m:"
what
'sgoi
ngonbet
weeny
ouandLi
zzy
"?
Me:
"Idon'
twannat
alkabouti
t"
Hi
m:"
butyouhaveto.I
fy ouwannagetoutoft
his
r
oom youbet
terst
artt
alking"

Ijustsatthereandl ookedbet weenmyknees.My

headwast hrobbingsohar d.
..hegaveupand
slammedt hedooronhi swayout .If
oll
owedand
wentst r
aighttomyr oom ndat hat
habagszam and
wentt oknockonEv e'sdoor,Icall
edhercozI
remember edt hatshewentdownst ai
rs

Her
:"
hey
"
Me:
"pl
scomet
oyourr
oom"
Her
:"
shar
p"

Wehungup,
Iopenedthedoorandsatonherbed.
Shewal
kedi
neatingy
oghurtandsatnextt
ome

Me:
"ar
eyoust
il
lgoi
ng"
?
Her
:"
yeahI
'
m wai
ti
ngf
orLwandot
ocal
l
"
Me:
"wher
eishe"
?
Her
:"
hetookBooboot
ohi
spar
ent
sthey
'r
eatVi
ncent
Hei
ghts"
Me:"
okay
,I
'l
lwaitfory'
al
li
ntownIwannaseei
fther
e
ar
eanyfl
ightsavail
abl
efort
oday
"
Her
:"
you'
regoi
ng"
?
Me:
"yeah"

Shel
aughedandwhist
led"
TheMocki
ngbir
d":vI
wal
keddownstai
rs,
wal
kedpastt
heemptykit
chen
andalmostoutthegat
ewhenIbumpedonKer
iand
Lukebandi
jonga

Hi
m:"
wher
ear
eyougoi
ng"
Me:
"I
'm goi
ngt
oJo'
bur
g"
Her
:"
but
..
.whynow"
Me:"
Ihav
eanearl
yclasstomorrowandIdon'
tknow
i
fther
eareanyf
li
ght
sav ai
labl
eevennow"
Hi
m:"
okay
..
.l
emmedr
ivey
out
otheai
rpor
t"
Me:
"noI
'
llt
a-"
Him:"
I'
m notl
ett
ingy
ouhi
tch-
hikewhi
l
ewehav
e
carsher
e"

Ishruggedandwal kedov ertohiscar ,packedmy

bagsandhuggedKer it
henwedr oveof fi
nsil
ence.
Unti
l wereachedtheairpor t
.Wei nquiredaboutthe
ti
cketsav ai
l
abil
it
yandf oundaf l
ightthatwouldbein
anhoursoweboughtel ot icketandwentupt othe
caféont heroofandorder edcoffee..
.
Thenbam!
Fai
thcal
l
ed.

Me:
"Mr
sTi
tus"
Her
:"
hey
,howar
eyou"
Me:
"goody
ou"
Her
:"
I'
m gr
eat
,IhopeI
'
m notdi
stur
bingy
ou"
Me:
"i
tsokay
"
Her:
"l
ikeIsai
dbefore,
I
'dl
i
ketomeety
oui nperson
t
here'
sani mpor
tantmatt
erI
'
dli
ketodiscusswith
you"
Me:"
welli
twi
l
lhav
etowai
t,
I'
m onmywayt
oJo'
bur
g
r
ightnow"
Her
:"
oh.Sosoon"
?
Me:
"I
'v
egott
obei
ncl
asst
omor
rowmor
ning"
Her
:"
Iunder
stand,
butwhatt
imei
syourf
li
ght
"
Me:
"i
tsi
nanhour
"
Her:"
wouldyoumindifIcomeov er
?I'
m ar
oundI'
m
sureIwon'tt
akeeven30mi nut
es?Thisi
svery
urgent"
Me:
"sur
e"
Her
:"
thanks,
seey
oui
nabi
t"

Wehungup,
Il
ookedatLuke.

Me:
"Mr
sTi
tusi
scomi
ngher
e"
Hi
m:"
younev
erwentt
oher
"?
Me:
"di
dn'
thav
eti
me"
Him:
"butTeeshe'
sbeenpl
eadi
ngt
oseey
ouf
orday
s
now"
Me:"
seei
ngt
hat
'si
tsver
yimpor
tant
,I'
l
lfi
ndoutwhat
i
tisi
nafewminut
es"
Him:"
wellI
'
llhav
etol
eaveyou,
Siv
ei sgoi
ngtosee
heraunti
nBeaconBaybef
oreweflybacktoJozi
"
Me:
"nopr
obl
em.Thanksf
ort
hecof
fee"
Hi
m:"
oh.
..
lemmej
ustdot
his"

Hegotbusyonhi
sphoneandi
naf
ewseconds,
Igot
i
n-cont
actndamj
onga

Hi
m:"
you'
l
lbedr
ivi
ngy
ourJaguarr
ight
"?
Me:
"I
'm notsur
e,what
'
sthi
s"
Hi
m:"
fuel
andgr
ocer
ies"
Me:
"ooht
hanks.Yho,
Idi
dn'
tev
ent
hinkoft
hat
"
Hi
m:"
Iknowy
oudontcookwhenI
'
m notar
ound"

Lol
yeahwhat
ever
.

Wehadourcof
feeandt
henhel
eft
.
Afewminutesaf
terhelef
tFai
thcal
l
edagai
nI
di
rect
edherbandiphi
thenshecameupandor
der
ed
acuppawit
hcheesecake
.
.
Evecal
l
ed.
..
Iex
cusedmy
sel
fkuFai
thasIt
ookt
he
cal
l

Me:
"mi
ssSmi
th"
Her
:"
wher
ear
eyou"
Me:
"ohsor
ryman,
Luudr
ovemet
otheai
rpor
t"
Her
:"
your
eal
l
yneedsomel
i
zar
diny
ourl
i
fe"

Wat
shoehl
ekaaswehungup:
v:v:
v

Ndabuy
elakuFai
th.
..
Her:
"youl
ookver
ymuchbet
tert
hanwhatIt
hought
youwouldbe"
Me:
"bi
ggi
rl
sdon'
tdr
owni
nsor
row"
Her
:"
tel
lmeabouti
t"

Il
ookedather
..
.
We'r
enotf
ri
ends.Uf
unani
kum?That
'sal
lIwanna
know.

Shetookasipandl
ookedatme,
Iwaspai
nful
l
ybl
ank.
Landl
elai
dikay
osbar
i.

Her:
"okay
,whatI
'
m aboutt
osaymustst
aybet
ween
us"
Me:
"okay
"
Her
:"
Iuhm,
Ithi
nky
oucoul
dbepar
tofmyf
ami
l
y"
Me:
"par
tofy
ourf
ami
l
y?"
Her
:"
yes,
umt
shanawam t
obeexact
"

Il
aughedathowr
idi
cul
ousshesounded
Me:
"Haha!That
'
sagoodone"
Her
:"
I'
m notj
oki
ng"
Me:"
hayMakaSosoI
'm notany
wher
enearbei
ng
par
tofyourf
amil
ywethu"

Sheputherforkdown,
smear
edwi
thpur
plel
i
pst
ick
andcream o.
O

Her
:"
whenIfi
rstsawy ouIdi
dn'
tknowwhyyou
l
ookedsofamil
iar
.Iti
sonlyaf
terIwentt
oseehi
m
t
hatIgott
heanswer "
Me:
"seehi
m?Who"
Her
:"
mybr
other
,Bongi
nkosi
"
Me:"
ohandI'
m sur
eyou'
regonnat
ell
mewhat
answert
hatwas"
Her:
"youlookexact
lyl
i
keyourmother
.Isawher
once,
thenwhenIwenttovi
sitmybrot
herhegave
meherpictureaski
ngwhet
hershe'
ssti
llal
i
veandin
herIsawy ou"
Me:
"ohwel
l
.Peopl
elookal
i
ke.Taket
heI
ndi
ansand
Chi
nesepeopl
e"

Shewi
pedat
ear
..
.
Oh-
kayt
hisi
sser
iousnow.
..
Irecol
l
ectedmysel
f.Ihavet
obeonmyr
ightmi
nds
ngoku,
soberasajudge.

Me:
"I
'm sor
ry.
..But,
thi
sdoesn'
tmakesense.Idon'
t
meantoupsety ou"
Her:
"i
tsokay
,Iuhm..
.I
'mjustpai
nedt
hathesai
dyou
wil
lbeexact
lyl
iket
his"
Me:
"doesheknowme"
?
Her
:"
no,
buthesai
dify
our
eal
l
ytakeaf
terhi
m..
.y
ou'
l
l
best
ubbor
n"

Oh-
kayo.
O

Me:
"oh"
Shebr
eat
hed.

Her:
"I
'm sor
ryitt
ookmesolongtot
ell
yout hi
sbutI
al
sodidn'twannarui
nyourl
i
fekwaSmith"
Me:
"nahdon'
tapol
ogi
ze.I
'
m cool
"

Icheckedt
het
ime.
..Okaywecoul
dst
il
ltal
k.

Me:
"sowhat
'
shel
i
ke"
?
Her
:"
her
egr
etsnev
erbei
ngt
her
efory
ou"
Me:
"I
'dl
i
ket
ohearhi
m sayt
hat
"
Her:
"t
hat
'sify
ou'r
ereal
l
ysur
eaboutt
hat
,ify
ou'
re
st
rongenough"
Me:
"why
"?
Her
:"
he'
sinpr
ison"

Oh!
Jawdr
op!
Bummer
!

Me:
"whatdi
dhedo"
?
Her:
"Ican'
tanswert
hat
,buti
fyoudeci
det
ogosee
hi
mI '
llt
akeyou"
Me:"
yho.Musthav
ebeensomet
hinghugexa
i
ngathet
hwayo"

Shet
ookasi
pakandi
phendul
a

Me:"well
,
Ihav
etogettothecust
oms.Thanky
ouf
or
yourinf
ormat
ionIguess"
Her
:"
sowhenwi
l
lyoubeav
ail
abl
e"?
Me:"t
obehonest
,Idon'
tknow.Ihav
eal
ott
o
pr
ocess"
Her:
"okayI
'l
lgi
veyout
ime,
solongI'
l
ltel
lhi
my ou
know.Sothatnay
ehecanprepar
eyouranswerske
i
ncasey
oudeci
det
ovi
sithi
m"
Me:
"cool
,
Ireal
l
yhav
etogonow"

Shewav
edasIwentt
othecust
oms.
Iboar
dedt hepl
ain,
whenIr
eachedJo'
bur
gIcal
l
ed
mydriver
sbazondit
hat
ha.
WhenIreachedhomeIwentst
rai
ghttobed.Woke
upinthemiddl
eoftheni
ghtwi
thmissedcall
sfr
om
ever
yone:v

Ihadt odecidewhot ocal

l f
ir
standseeingthatI
'mi
n
l
ikeshouseIcal l
edhimf i
rst.
..Hedidn'
t
pickup,obvi
ousl
yitsaninappropri
ateti
ming>_<soI
l
ef tamessaget el
li
ngIarri
vedsafely.ThenIcal
l
ed
Mar cus,oneri
ngandhepi ckedup

Hi
m:"wher
ear
eyou?I
'
vebeencal
l
ingy
ousi
ncet
he
af
ter
noon"
Me:
"oh,
I
'm sor
ryi
fIgoty
ouwor
ri
ed"
Hi
m:"
waari
sjynou"
Me:
"eki
sinJozi
"
Hi
m:"
enj
yhetni
evi
rmysêni
e"?
Me:
"Idi
dn'
twannapr
ovokeLiz,
Ithoughty
oumi
ght
bewit
hherwhenIwasleav
ing"
Hi
m:"
butst
il
l"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"

Hewasqui
etf
orawhi
l
e..
.
Iknewt
hiscoul
dbedi
ff
icul
tonhi
m.

Hi
m:"
it
sokay
,nowhowwi
l
lIknowwhati
sshor
tin
di
ehui
s"?
Me:
"noev
ery
thi
ngi
sset
tl
ed.Lukegav
ememoney
"
Hi
m:"heknowsy
oul
eft
?Andhedi
dn'
tbot
hert
otel
l
me"?

Uh-
oho.
O
Me:
"het
ransf
eredt
hemoneyt
hough"
Him:"
okay
,I
'l
lcall
youbef
orey
ougot
ocl
ass.Just
getsomerest"
Me:
"yout
oo"

Wahl
eka.
Andhungup.

ThenIhadt
ocal
lNt
ando.
..ThoughIhesi
tat
edabi
t

Hi
m:"
MrsBeast
,awl
elangawenzani
"
Me:
"j
ustwokeupandsawy
ourcal
l
s"
Hi
m:"
Ijustwant
edt
oknowuy
ani
nieJozi
"
Me:
"oh"
Hi
m:"
don'
twor
ry,
Iknowsewuf
iki
l
e"
Ismi
l
ed.
.

Hi
m:"
uncumel
eni
"
Me:"
Idon'
tknowyaz,
youknowIwasmeani
ngt
oask
yousomethi
ng"
Hi
m:"
oh-
kay
,buza"
Me:"
doIsti
l
lneedt
hedr
iver
s?Imean.
..I
sn'
tl
awei
ov
erngoku"
Hi
m:"babeyou'
rebeat
ingar
oundt
hebush,
justsay
l
ent
ouf unauy'
thet
ha"
Me:
"okaybr
aIwannadr
ivemycarkal
ok"
Hi
m:"
thendr
ivei
t"
Me:
"ser
iousl
y?Wow.Enkosi
"
Hi
m:"
butt
hey
'l
lkeepaney
eony
ou,
j
ustt
obesaf
e"
Me:
"oookay
"
Hi
m:"
lal
ake"
Me:
"yeahwhat
ever
"
Ihungupandcall
edEv e,shehungupj
ustonone
ri
ng:vshe'
salwaysbeenasucker!Neverwannabe
wokenupfrom apeacefulsl
eepsondamy eka
ndazamaulal
a.
[
10/
10,
19:
17]‪+27730692704‬:
#251

Af
ewmont
hsdownt
hel
i
ne.
..
.
.
.

WellImai ntainedmydeci sionregardingmy

rel
ationshipsof ar: vt
houghhedi dn'tmakei tany
easy.Whenev erhecamet oJo'burghe'dcallandask
tomeetup, Lol Imetupwi thhim onceIt hink,
coz
mostt imesei therIwasoutoft owncov eri
nga
l
awy erasmyassi gnment .Itwasj usttwomont hs
beforetheendoft heyearandIwasr eal
lysureof
myr esult
scozIwaswor kinghard.Inev erreall
y
cal
ledFai t
hagai ncozIwasn' tsureIwant edt ogo
nearanypr isonj ustyet.
..May bendizoy awhenI '
ve
cl
ear
edmydi
aryandazshame.

Okaysot hisotherdayIcameoutoft heli

brar
ythenI
drovemy selft
oVi nce'sworkcozIreall
ymissed
somebr aaiedpork, soIparkandwalkout.I'
m not
evendressedgl amor ousl
y.
..Justnav
yshor t
s,whi
te
vestandthosenav yandwhi t
eAdidasguyssandals
andI'm evendraggingmy selfhl
oboelindi
dinwe
ngalo.

Aguyshowsmeat ablethenhet
akesmyor
der
,Isi
t
t
herej
ustthi
nki
ngblankl
ywhenmyphoneri
ngs

Me:
"hel
l
o"
Her
:"
hel
l
o,t
hisi
sCathyf
rom Corr
ect
ional
ser
vicesi
n
t
heEast
ernCape.Howareyou"
Me:
"I
'm goodt
hanks.HowcanIhel
pyou"
Her:
"doyouknowofaper
sonbyt
henameSi
hle
Ntabeni
"
Me:
"Si
hle?Yes,
whatabouthi
m"
Her
:"
okay
,pl
shol
dforhi
m"

Okay
..
.nowt
hisi
swei
rd.
Whywoul
dSi hl
euseNtando'
ssurname?Okaynever
mi
ndthat
,whywouldhegivecor
recti
onal
serv
ices
mynumberinst
eadofekabhut'
wakhe?

Hi
m:"
Tee"
Me:
"Si
hle,
uphi
"?
Hi
m:"
ndi
banj
i
wemf
ethu.Ineedy
ourhel
p"
Me:
"ubanj
i
we?Wenzeni
?HehSi
hleuphi
nah"
Him:"
it
salongstor
ybutIneedal
awy
erj
ustt
o
appealf
orbai
l"
Me:
"thenwhynotcal
lyourbr
other
,Idon'
thav
ea
l
awyerfondi
n"
Hi
m:"
call
i
ngubhutiwouldbemydeathwi
sh.Pls
man,
nobalel
efami
l
yy akhomoneyi
snotaprobl
em"
Isi
ghed.
..
I
fIaskMarcf
orhel
pobvi
ouslyNtandowil
lknow,
and
I
'
m notev
enqual
ifi
edt
orepresentsomeoneasyet
.

Me:
"Si
hle"
Hi
m:"
Tee"
Me:
"whathav
eyoudone"
Him:
"weuhm,weweredrunk-
driv
ingsoweki
nda
hadanacci
dent
.Butnoonedied"
Me:
"who'
swe"
?
Hi
m:"
meandmyf
ri
ends"
Me:
"uphi
uKuhl
e"?
Hi
m:"
he'
sinCTkuSoso"
Me:
"okay
.I'
l
lseewhatIcando"
Hi
m:"
thanks.I
'
llcal
lyouagai
n"
Me:
"sur
e"
Myfoodwasal
readyher
e..
.It
ookapi eceand
t
houghtwhi
l
echewingonthecrunchyporkski
n:p

Ical
ledKuhlecozIknowhewon'
ttel
lNt
andonay
e
uyamoyika

Hi
m:"
mfazwasekhay
a"
Me:
"i
nyourdr
eams,
unj
ani
"
Hi
m:"
I'
mfabunj
ani
wena"
Me:
"I
'm gr
eat
..
.wel
lnotsogr
eat
.Ineedaf
avour
"
Hi
m:"
any
thi
ngf
ory
ou"
Me:
"mh,
Sihl
eubanj
i
wef
ordr
unkdr
ivi
ng"
Hi
m:"
what
?Wher
e"?
Me:"
I'
m notev
ensur
e,butIt
hinkt
hey
'r
eint
he
East
erncape"
Hi
m:"
they
"
Me:
"hi
m andf
ri
ends,
lookheneedsal
awy
erbuthe
doesn'
twantt
oasky
ourbi
gbr
otherandmnaandi
na
gqwetha"
Hi
m:"whydoesn'
thecallhisl
awyer
s?Thebusi
ness
l
awyersandthennegot
iateapri
cewit
hthem"
Me:
"Idon'
tknow"
Hi
m:"haybra,
ingat
hicebokuxel
elaubr
a.Uzokuv
a
wenaunli
keus"
Me:
"Ihav
en'
tspokent
ohi
minal
ongt
imet
hough"
Him:"
haha!Ihear
dofl
ebr
eakupy
enu,
mxm ni
muncu
kodwaguys"

Ihadt
olaugh:
v:v

Me:
"sund'
qhel
aKuhl
e"
Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
rybuty
ho,
ni
nexeshay
azguy
s"
Me:
"mxm f
tsekv
ha"

Hebur
stoutl
aughi
ng.
..
Ihungupandcont
inued
eat
ing.

WellIkindacal
l
edNt andocozattheendoft
he
day
,thi
sishisbrot
herwe'r
etal
kingabout
.
Hi
sphonerangtwot
imesandthenheanswer
edi
n
t
helazi
estoft
onesI
'
veeverhear
dfrom hi
m

Hi
m:"
mmh"
Me:
"t
aBeast
"
Hi
m:"
MissSmi
th,
what
'
sup"
Me:
"whyar
eyousl
eepi
ngemi
ni"
Hi
m:"I
'mtir
ed,
don'
tyouwannav
olunt
eerasmy
masseuse"
Me:
"hayhay
"
Hi
m:"
plsf
ondi
n,
uyak'
cel
aumj
i
ta"
Me:
"ononecondi
ti
on"
Hi
m:"
huh?Lef
ri
endshi
phascondi
ti
onsnahf
ondi
n"?
Me:
"hai
ke"
Hi
m:"
okay
.whati
sit
"
Me:
"Ineedt
ogett
otheEast
ernCapeandIneeda
l
awyer"
Hi
m:"
youneedal
awy
er?Forwhatkengok"
Me:
"i
tsconf
ident
ial
"

Wakhewat
hul
a..
.
Ibitmynai
l
s,not
hingev
erst
aysconf
ident
ial
kul
ona
though

Hi
m: "
okayI'
l
lfor
wardyouhiscontactdetai
l
s
umfounel
angokwakho,
tel
lhim Isentyou"
Me:
"t
hanksal
ot"
Hi
m:"
sho.
..
souzozani
nikeuz
ond'
massager
"
Me:
"hahaha!Khawmekanci
nci
tana"
Hi
m:"
uyazy
ouoweme"
Me:
"by
eby
e"
Hi
m:"
shar
p"
Ihungupndagqi bezel
aukutya.Hesentmehi s
l
awy er
sdet ail
s,Iemail
edhim beforeIpay edthebil
l
anddrov emy selfhome.Immedi atel
ywhenIf lopped
onthecoucht heguyrespondedshamesoI
schedul
edt oseehi m onThur sdayinPEbutIgav e
him Si
hle'sdetail
sthatIknowofsot hatakhabe
emkhangel abaukwey iphipr
ison.
[
10/
10,
19:
17]‪+27730692704‬:
#252

ThursdayIfl
ewtoPortEli
zabet
htomeetMrv an
Dykethelawyer
,hecall
edtosayhehasfoundSihl
e
andcouldhelpt
ogethim out.
Ilandedandhesentf oracart ofetchmeatt he
airport.
..
eit
herhesentit,
orNt andodid.Idon'
tknow
butall Icar
edaboutwasget ti
ngSihleoutofthat
place,soIreachedhisoffi
cesandf inal
lymetupwi t
h
him,therewasnot hi
ngmucht otalkaboutbuthe
tookmet hroughtherouti
net henwedr ovetothe
prisonandappl i
edforbail
...Sihl
ewaschar gedR25
000sot helawyernegoti
atedandonl ylandedon15
wellt
hatwasbet terkum.WaaaybettersoIsigned
forhi
m andwepai dupkwathwauzokut shwathe
fol
lowingdaysot hatmeantI'
m sl
eepinginPEcozI
hadtoseet hatuphumileny
hani,
Idon'tknowabout
hisfr
iendskemt chanam.

Lol soandazi mntueBhay ineh?Andi twasal r

eady
l
atecozokobesi zulal
acour ti
mi nil
ey onke.I
fIwas
giv
ent hekeystoMYhol i
dayhousel ey aiyigi
ft
may bengendiyolal
akuyobutt henagai nandiyaz
nobai ndawni soIbookedintoahot el,onceIwas
i
nsidemyr oom Icall
edLuu: /hehadt ohel pmeout,
Ididn'thavemuchmoney .Maliyam t hatIwas
savingy il
endikhuphengayouSi hlecozIknew
uzondi bhatal
aophumakwakhe

.
..
Hi
m:"
Lil
sis"
Me:"
hey,
I'
m ki
ndai
nati
ghtcor
nerandIwashopi
ng
youcoul
dhelpmeout
"
Hi
m:"
okay
,what
'
sup"
Me:"
Ineedacoupl
eoft
housands.ASAP.I
'
llr
epay
youovert
henextf
ewdays"
Hi
m:"
oh.
..
wher
ear
eyouexact
ly"
?
Me:
"I'
minPE"
Hi
m:"
onaschool
tri
porwhat
"?

:
)nowt
hathement
ionedschool
,
Ist
uckt
othewor
d!

Me: "
yeahuhm,Icamet odoanassignment
,
experimentphof,
butIki
ndafi
nishedlat
esoIbooked
my selfi
ntoahotel
"
Hi
m:"
hot
el?Whi
chhot
el"
Me:
"i
tsoneoft
heTsogoSunbr
anches"
Hi
m:"
okay
,I
'l
ldot
het
ransf
ernownow"
Me:
"t
hanksal
otbr
o"
Hi
m:"nosweat
.Youdon'
thavetopayit
,I
'
myour
br
otheri
tsmydutyt
ohel
py ou,
okay"
?
Me:
"t
hanksLuu"
Hi
m:"
okayby
e"
Me:
"cheer
s"

Phew!
ThankYouLor
d!

Iundr essedandgoti ntotheshower,cameoutand

l
ot i
onedt henIjustdrapedagownandl ayonmy
stomachl ookingatt hehotelmenu,Iorderedmy
supperwi thabot tl
eofredwine: Dtyhi
ni!Ndagqi bel
a
niniuzivisakamnandi ?Room servi
cecamet hrough
ndat yainapeacef ulst
ateknowingndenzei nto
erightbuti xhal
alam obv i
ouslyi
showr el
iabl
ei sthis
l
awy er?CozIhadl afearyobauzomxel el
auNt ando
thenI '
lll
ookl i
ket hebadguyi nthi
swhol epicture..
.

Ndi
saci
nganj
aloKuhl
ecal
l
edme.
..
Me:
"Kay"
Hi
m:"
sisi
,
howdi
ditgo"
?
Me:
"hegot15kbai
lbutuzokhut
shwangomso"
Hi
m:"
15ky
onke?Yhobay
amt
yabul
athough"
Me:
"t
ell
meAbouti
t,
phofbebesi
thi
25"
Wakhuza:
v:v
Hi
m:"
soy
ou'
rebacki
nJozi
right
"?
Me:
"ha.
andsel
aphakal
ok"
Hi
m: "
uzol
alaphi
kengokTee?Doy
ouknowany
body
t
here"
Me:
"no,
I
'm att
hehot
eldon'
twor
ry"
Hi
m:"
yhomf
ethu.Ubr
aumxel
ele"
?
Me:"notr
eall
y,
butIusedhi
slawy
er,
andazkenoba
al
i
zomxelelanah"
Hi
m:"
vanDy
ke"
?
Me:
"yeah,
youknowhi
m"
Hi
m:"
yeah.
..
oohmxm umuncul
owoangamxel
ela"
Me:
"wel
lndi
zoml
i
ndaandi
buzeke"
Hi
m:"
inkul
ulent
ouy
enzi
l
eyomf
ethu,
enkosi
kakhul
u
br
a"
Me:
"ohwel
l
"
Hi
m:"
I'
m bei
ngr
eal
.Thanksal
ot"
Me:
"Iknowhe'
dhavedonethesamethi
ngifhewas
i
nmyshoesKuhle,
akhoneedyondi
bul
elakangaka"
Hi
m:"
awsekhomodestnj
e"

Ndahl
eka.

Hi
m:"
lemmel
eav
eyout
orestt
hen"
Me:
"uphi
uSoso"
?
Hi
m:"
usabasaabr
aai
fir
ephandl
e"
Me:
"t
ell
him ndamkhumbul
a"
Hi
m:"
wil
ldo"
Me:
"shar
p"
Wehungup.
..
Ndat
yai
npi
eceandsl
ept
.

I
nthemor
ningIwaswokenupy
ical
lkaSi
hle

Me:
"youhav
eyourphonemeani
ngy
ou'
reout
"
Hi
m:"
thanksal
otman"
Me:
"uphi
"
Hi
m:"
ndi
sel
aphaI
'
m si
gni
ngaf
ewt
hings"
Me:
"okayI
'
m onmyway
,ungahambi
ndi
ngekaf
iki
"
Hi
m:"
okay
"

Ihungupandgotoutofbed.
Ndal
ungisa,checkedmessages,ndabonanemali
fr
om Luu:Dhenev erdisappoi
ntsthough.WhenI
wasdoneIl eftati
pf orthehousekeeperandwentto
payoffatthef r
ontdeskt hent
heycalledacabfor
mey andi
saecourtndafi
kaehleli
phandle,wehugged
andgotinthecab,
Iaskedt hedri
vertotakeusto
Greenacr
eswasisa,
paidhim sohli
kaandf ounda
spottoorderbr
eakfastsahlal
asancokolakengok

Me:
"so,
Iwantt
hewhol
est
ory
"
Hi
m:"
yhokhay
ekesi
siman"
Me:
"youknowIhadtodr
opev
ery
thi
ng,
fory
our
r
eckl
essbehav
ior"
?
Hi
m:"I
'
m grat
eful
.Especi
all
ysi
ncey
oudi
dn'
tev
en
t
ell
ubhut
i"

Ndamjonga..
.t
hisiswei
rd,
he'
sthesi
l
ent
/qui
etone
yethehasacr i
minalr
ecor
d?Maarhowdothese
peopl
ethinknah?

Him:"
I'
m sorr
yforputt
ingyouinadif
fi
cul
t
posi
ti
on,andI'
vespokentomybusinessl
awy
er.He'
l
l
tr
ansferthemoneybyt heendoft
oday"
Me:
"mmkay
"
Hi
m:"
yhoundi
ncedi
l
emf
ethu.Kubadkl
andawo"
Me:"
ohpl
ease,
ubukwi
hol
dingcel
l
s,nott
hehar
dcor
e
j
ail
s"
Hi
m:"
kuy
afana"
Me:
"nowyouhaveacri
minal
recor
d.Abusi
nessman
wi
thacri
minal
recor
d."
Hi
m:"
ey.
..Uzenzi
l
eakakhal
elwa.Ij
usthav
etogetmy
mi
ndri
ghtyouknow"

Whenwewer edoneeating,
Iaskedhi mt o
accompanymet otheair
portcozIreallyhadtofl
y
backtoJozi ,
v arsi
tywaswai t
ingforme.Hedi d
shameokoebul ela,wehuggedIleft.JustasI
l
anded,hislawy ert r
ansf
eredthemoney: DIdid
i
nternetbanki ngandsav editbacktowher eitwas.I
cal
ledNtandoonmywayhome. ..
hisphoneswer eal
l
busysoIl efthim aloneandheadedhomendaf i
ka
ndikhendahl alanjeeonthecouch.
Yhui
tsbeenal
ongweek.
Af
teracoupl
eofmi
nut
es,
Ntandocal
l
edmeback

Me:
"t
atakaSi
no"
Hi
m:"
MrsNt
abeni
,
unj
ani
"
Me:
"I
'mt
ir
ed.Unj
ani
wena"
?
Hi
m:"
I'
mfr
esh,
Ij
ustcameoutofaspa"
Me:
"awngcol
e"
Hi
m:"
kal
okuyandi
tal
elasongconondi
yobhat
ala
umnt
ukodwaukhona"
Me:
"mxm Nt
andov
ha"

Hel
aughed

Hi
m:"
souphi
"?
Me:
"backi
nJo'
bur
g"
Hi
m:"
soqui
ck?It
houghtuseseEast
ernCape"
Me:"
nah,
ndi
y'
gqi
bil
elent
obendi
yoy
enzapha.Uphi
wena"
Hi
m:"
ndi
l
aphaeGaut
engnam"
Me:
"ohokay
,uf
ikeni
ni"
Hi
m:"
yest
erdayev
eni
ng"
Me:
"mmh,
busi
ness"
?
Hi
m:"
pleasur
e..
.ndi
zokhangel
aumf
azi
wesi
bini
"
Me:
"umfaziwesi
bini?Whyonear t
hwouldyouwant
t
wowives?Who'st hefi
rstoneanywaysi
nceIdi
dn'
t
r
ecei
veinvi
tat
ion"
Him:"
nguwekal
okuseniorwi
fe,
soxausamandel
we
kubayif
emalebachel
ormakhabendi
zi
nceda"

OkayIdi
dn'texpectt
hat:
v:vIcoul
dn'
thol
dmy
l
aughter
..
.

Me:"
oohnah?Butntwanahowdoyoutakeasecond
wi
fewit
houtmyblessi
ng?Marauj
wangaTaBeast
mfet
hu"
Him:"wrongword,I
'
m nott
aki
ng,I
'mlooki
ngfor.Don'
t
worryI'
llbr
inghertoyouf
oryourapprov
alf
irst
,t
hen
yourblessi
ng"
Me:
"neh?
"
Him:"andthenyouhav
etofil
lheri
n,ngobubomi
bethuke..
.uzoy
ivakamnandixaiv
elafrom anot
her
female"
Me:"
noakhopr
obl
em,
kamnandi
youknowwher
eto
f
indmemos"
Hi
m:"
exact
ly"
Me:
"al
ri
ghtt
hen,
enj
oyy
ourst
ay.Lemmer
est
"
Hi
m:"
ungal
ali
,
I'
ll
comebyaphaexesheni
"
Me:
"wi
thwhat
"?
Hi
m:"
hai
bof
ondi
n"
Me:
"uzozanant
oni
ebal
uleki
l
eyokum f
ondi
n"
Hi
m: "
ohI'l
lbri
ngy oumyl i
ps,
mybroadchest.
..
it
s
evenbroadernowt hatndi
buyel
eegym'i
ni.Obvi
ousl
y
noJojoakashiyeki"
CanIj
ustbehonest
?
Iwasdrool
ing.
..
imagini
nghi
m walki
ngar
ound
topl
essandbarefoot:
pohcrap!

Me:
"soy
our
eckont
hat
'
simpor
tantt
omer
ight
"?
Hi
m:"
preci
sel
y,unl
essy
ouhav
eanot
herv
ersi
onof
i
mport
ant"
Me:
"It
hinkIdo"
Hi
m:"
okay
,l
et'
sheari
t"
Me:"
ri
ghtnowI'
dli
keanicecr
eam t
ub,
Mar
iebi
scui
ts
andahotmassage.That
'
sall
"
Hi
m:"
theny
ou'
ret
alki
ngt
othewr
ongguymt
chanam
"
Me:
"butIt
houghty
ou'
reMrRi
ght
"
Hi
m:"
notf
ort
oday
..
.t
oday
,I
'mj
ustanor
mal
oke"

Hahaha!Oh-
kay
.
[
10/
10,
19:
17]‪+27730692704‬:
#253
Irestedf
ortherestoft
heday,intheaf
ternoonI
decidedtocook:)i
fhe'
sreall
ycomingthenIbetter
tr
eathimt oaniceandwarm homecookedmeal .I'
m
prett
ysureheeatsenoughjunkfoodtolasthi
ma
l
ifeti
me.

Icookedri
ce,beefstewandt wosaladsthenImade
my sel
fafrui
tsmoot hi
eandl azedonthecouch.Past
fi
veIheardahoot eroutsi
dendakroba:DIopened
thegate,
hedroveinandpar ked.

Nextt
hingIhear
daknock

Me:
"i
tsopen"

Lol
zakhendi
mphol
iseloh:
vandizomphaphel
atu.
..
Hewalkedi
nandstoodatt
heloungeentr
anceSoI
l
ookedupandsmil
ed,
Me:
"hey
"
Hi
m:"
nyhanzel
way
int
onbamaw'
act
e"?

Il
aughedandstoodup,wehugged.Sot
ight
..
.Itf
elt
ri
ght.Thenhesatdown,
onthesamecouchIwas
si
tti
ngon

Hi
m:"
yer
r,
kut
henumhl
ekangakanahf
ondi
n"
Ibl
ushed:
v
Me:
"howar
eyouMrnt
abeni
"?
Hi
m:"
ungand'
qhel
ikemnake"

:
vbutt
henndi
rongondawni
?

Me:
"okaykent
wanasor
ry,
butont
her
eal
unj
ani
"
Hi
m:"
andi
yont
wanay
akho.Ndi
shar
p"
Me:
"eshe,
yi
ntonwahupt
ightapha"
Hi
m:"
tchi
nzothi
niungabi
upt
ightbei
ngi
nthesame
r
oom asyou"
Me:
"hai
boNt
ando"

Okoendi
j
ongeebusweni
:)whoam Inott
obl
ush?

Me:
"uhm,
awl
ambanga"
?
Hi
m:"
ify
oucookedt
henI
'
m hungr
y"
Me:
"mmh,
ndi
yabuy
ake"

Ilef
thim andwentt odi
shupf orthebot hofus,
then
Iservedhimf i
rstndamazngot handai mbeko
ndambekel akwi t
rayalongwithjuicethenndamnika
ndabuyanday othathaokwam ukut y
a..
.t
hiswasmy
chancetot el
lhim aboutSihl
e.Xasel eehlut
hi
though,
atleastIwashopi ngi
twon' tbackfir
e.
Sowemadesmal
lconv
ersat
ion,
myel
derbr
other
cal
l
ed

Me:
"Mar
c'O'
Pol
o"
Wahl
eka:
vev
enNt
andol
aughedandshookhi
shead
Hi
m:"
hoegaandi
tmetj
ou"
Me:
"l
ekkermyskat
.Hoegaandi
tmetj
ouf
ami
l
ie"
Hi
m:"
we'
ref
ine,
Ijustmi
ssedy
'al
l
.Wher
eisEv
ely
n"
Me:
"she'
sincl
ass,
youshoul
dvi
si
t"
Hi
m:"
y'
al
lar
enotcomi
ngt
hissi
dedur
inghol
i
day
"?
Me:
"er
h..
.I
'
drat
herst
ayher
e.Ormay
begohomef
or
aweekortwo"
Him:"
ohcummonTee,
youknowEv
ewon'
tcome
hereunl
essy
oucometoo"
Me:'
'
Idon'
tthi
nkt
hatwoul
dbeagoodidea,Idon'
t
t
hinkLi
zandIcanbeint
hesameroom..
.sane"
Hi
m:"
butwe'
ref
ami
l
y"
Me:
"Iknowt
hat
"
Him:
"canyouatl
eastmakeanef
for
t?Tr
y,t
henshe'
l
l
seef
rom y
out haty
ouguyscanbecool
again"
Me:"
butMarchowcanImakeanef
for
twhenshe'
s
af
termy-mxm,nev
ermind"
Hi
m:"
she'
saf
tery
ourwhat
"?
Me:
"doesn'
tmat
ter
,f
orgetIsai
dany
thi
ng"
Hi
m:"
Tri
nal
i
que"
Me:
"Mar
cIhav
eav
isi
tor
,canwet
alksomeot
her
t
ime"
?
Hi
m:"
..
.Okay
,l
ovey
ou"
Me:
"l
ovey
out
oo"

Thenhehungup.
..
Icont
inuedeat
ing.
..
nowIwasdi
str
act
ed.
WhenIl
ift
edmyey
esNt
andowasj
ustl
ooki
ngat
me,
noteati
ng

Me:
"t
hat
'scr
eepy
"
Hi
m:"
what
'sgoi
ngonbet
weeny
ouandLi
z"
Me:
"Idon'
tthi
nkIwannat
alkaboutEl
i
zabet
h"
Hi
m:"
sot
her
eissomet
hing"
Idi
dn'
tanswert
hat

Hi
m:"
Nal
i
que,
cummony
oucant
rustme"
Me:
"canI?Reall
y?ImeanIdohavesomething
i
mportantIwannatel
lyouandi
tsgotnot
hingtodo
wi
thLiz"
Hi
m:"
okay
,tel
lme"

It
ookadeepbr
eat
h..
.Madeasi
l
entpr
ayer
ThenIlookedathim,LolIpani
ckedkanci
ncicoz
ndayazwe'vebeenthroughthi
ssecrecyt
hingbut
di
ffer
encenowi sthatwe'rej
ustfr
iends:
)neh?
Fri
ends.

Me:
"Ineedy
out
opr
omi
semekuqal
a"
Hi
m:"
Ipr
omiseIwon'
tfreakoutony
ouev
eni
f
yi
mpambanol
euzoyi
thetha"
Me:"ndakcelat
ana,
Ionlydi
ditcozIknewit
sther
ight
thi
ng.Andheappr oachedmeinsteadofy
oucoz
uyakoyika"
Hi
m:"
babyy
ou'
rebl
abber
ingnow,
andi
vani
ks"
Me:
"Iuhm.
..Iki
ndahel
pedoneofy
ourbr
other
s"
Hi
m:"
wit
hwhat
"?
Me:
"nowt
hat
'swher
ethepr
obl
em begi
ns"
Hi
m:"
okay
,whi
chbr
other
"
Me:"
uSihl
e,
andpleasedon'tbeangry.Hemadea
mist
akeandfacedtheconsequences.Nowhe
knowshewaswr ong,
he'
llr
ecti
fyhiserror
s"

Het ookasipandleanedback..
.hi
splatewas
fi
nished.Uhl
uthi
:DbutI'm st
il
ltr
ynaexplain
kwenzekentonianditsnotaseasy..
.butIknew
kuzobanzimawethu.
Hi
m:"
so,
uSi
hlewenzeni
kany
e-kany
e"
Me:
"hewasar
rest
ed"
Hi
m:"
Sihl
eorKuhl
e"?
Me:
"Si
hle"
Hi
m:"
nowt
hat
'
stwi
sted.Whatdi
dhedo"
?
Me:"
hewasi
nvol
vedi
nacaracci
dent
..
.Dr
unk
dr
ivi
ng"
Hi
m:"i
ntoni
?Sihl
edr
unkdr
ivi
ng?Butt
hatdoesn'
t
makesense"
Me:"
Iknow..
.souhm,
that
'
swhyIneededal
awy
er.
Andthat
'swhyIwenttoPE"
Hi
m:"
ooh,
butwhycal
lyoundi
khona"
?
Me:
"webot
hknowwhy
"

Wahl
eka.
..
Wai
t,
he'
snotangr
y?
NowI
'
mreal
l
yconf
used.
Me:
"so,
you'
renotf
li
ppi
ng"
?
Hi
m:"
whyshoul
dI?Youdi
dagr
eatj
ob.Thanky
ou"
Me:
"oh.
..
thanks.
..
Iguess"
Hi
m:"
ndi
kuphoxi
l
eneh"
Me:
"l
awei
mtchana!Li
ke,
ndi
mat
hil
eri
ghtnow"

Hej
ustr
elaxed.
Itookt
heplat
est
otheki
tchenndabuy
aandsat
opposi
tehi
m

Hi
m:"
khazohl
alaapha"
Me:
"hayf
ondi
n,
ndi
kubukakak'
hl
eapha"
Hi
m:"
Nal
i
quemahn"

Igotupandwalkedovertohi
m,hepul
l
edmesoIsat
onhisl
ap,onear
m behindhi
sneckLolIwasal
l
smil
es
Me:
"t
hisi
ssabot
age"
Hi
m:"
justl
i
key
ousabot
agedmei
ntot
hisbr
eakup"
Me:
"Iwhat
?Butbr
a..
."
Hi
m:"
yout
alkt
oomuch"
Me:
"ooohhmmm"

Weki
ssed.
I
thasbeenal
oooongbr
eak.

Me:
"goshI
'
vemi
ssedy
ousomuch"
Hi
m:"
sssh"

Weconti
nued.It
urnedandsquat
tedonhi
m andt
hat
f
eltev
enbett
er.
Af
tersomet
imewebr
oket
heki
ss

Hi
m:"
packaweekendbag"
Me:
"am Igoi
ngany
wher
e"?
Hi
m:"
you'
recomi
ngwi
thme,
forasl
eepov
er"
Me:
"you'
ret
ell
i
ngme"

Helookedatmequizzical
l
yIj
ustl
aughedandgot
of
fhim ndahl
alaonthecouch

Me:
"wher
e'smyi
cecr
eam "
?
Hi
m:"isendl
i
ni,
that
'
swher
eI'
l
lbegi
vi
ngy
ouy
our
massage"
Me:
"t
empt
ing"
Hi
m:"
thenuhl
elel
eni
"

Idi
dn'
twannal
ookcheap,
forone.
Butontheotherhand,
ndi
yaf
unamosnam uhamba:v
who'sgonnajudgeme?Ohwait,
Idon'
treal
l
ycar
e.

Iwal
kedupst
air
s,packedaweekendbagandwe
l
ockedLuke'
shouseanddr
ovet
ohi
sapar
tment
.
[
10/
10,
19:
17]‪+27730692704‬:
#254

Wear r
ivedinhi
shouse,
Iwentstr
aightt
otheki
tchen
andlookedformyicecream.Hecamewandihleka
ashepassedt oputmybaginthebedroom,
Isawa
Magnum tubinthefr
eezernday
thathaandwentto
si
tinthelounge
Hecamebackbuthewast
alki
ngont
hephone.
..He
wentoutt
hebackdoor

Icheckedmyemai
l
s.
Andthenwhileatit.
..Ireal
izedt
hatIhadt
osubmi t
anassignmentthefollowingdayandIhadtot
all
y
for
gott
enabouti t
.

:
/zobangat
hi kuNtandoI'mf l
ossi
ng: vorndi
funa
ucengwawhichisnottrue.Ilethi
mt alkkul
aphone
whil
eIcont
inuedeatinghisicecream.
Hecamebackandsatnextt
ome, t
ookmyspoon
andat
eupwhil
ehefini
shedthecal
l.

Him:
"Ihav
etor
etur
ntoCTt
oni
ght
,somebusi
ness
goi
ngdown"
Me:
"cool
"
Hi
m:"
cool
?Justl
i
ket
hat
"
Me:
"er
h..
.y
eah"

:
vtheLor
dknowshowt
oanswerourpr
ayer
s!

Hi
m:"
whydoIgett
hef
eel
i
ngt
haty
ou'
ret
hri
l
led"
Me:
"butI
'
m notsupposedt
ocr
y..
.r
ight
"?
Hi
m:"
Zandi
xakwe"
Me:"t
hingis,
Ij
ustr
emember
edt
hatIhav
ea
submissi
onngomso"
Hi
m:"
yout
ri
ppi
n'"
Ishowedhimtheemai
l:
)kal
okhesai
dhe'
llnev
er
standbet
weenmeandmyeducati
onsori
ghtnowhe
hadnogrounds.

Hi
m:"
sowhatnow"
Me:"wellIcanspendafewhour
swi
thy
oubef
ore
yourfl
ight,
Idon'
tmind"
Hi
m:"
myf
li
ghti
smi
dni
ght
"
Me:
"yho.Who'
sgonnadr
ivemehomei
nthe
mor
ning"?
Him:"I
'
lli
nfor
mt heguy
skalokbabe.Anywaythey'
ll
bedrivi
ngmet otheai
rpor
tsoforsurebazokusa
ksasa"
Me:
"ooh"

Iputmyfeetonhisl
ap,
her
emov
edmyshoesand
massagedthefeet
Me:
"youdoknowt
haty
ouowemeaf
ull
body
massageneh"
Hi
m:"
let
'sgoupst
air
s,I
'
lldowhatI
'
m bestknownf
or"
Me:
"t
hemassage.Ihope"
Hi
m:"
Iwonderuci
ng'
bandi
thet
hangant
oni
"

:
v
Hahaha!
Owkay
,mymi
nddi
dreal
l
yraceof
ftr
ack,
Iconf
ess.
If
oll
owedhim upstai
rsandfoundt
her
oom t
urned
i
ntosomeromant i
cspa^ _
^

Me:
"ohwow.
..
"
Hi
m:"
madam,
mayI
"?

Ohwow.
..
nyhani
!
Iundr
essed,
thenwor
eagownandlayonmy
stomachndamemalaashi
sst
ronghandst
oned
downev
eryt
iedknotandt
ensi
onf
rom myshoul
der
s
down

JongaIwasenj
oyi
ngt
his.
Lawei
.

Ev
ecal
l
ed:
vher
ecomest
roubl
e..
.

Me:
"Ev
ely
n"
Her
:"
li
tt
lesi
ster
,hoez
it"
Me:
"mmh,
youdon'
twannaknow.How'
syou"
Her:
"Iwannaknowexactl
ywhat'sgoi
ngonwi
thy
ou
begi
nom tepraatmei
siekind"
Me:"
I'
m happy
.Ther
eyouhav
eit
,nowpl
ease.
..
canI
cal
lyoutomorr
ow"?
Her:
"hel
lno!Ical
l
edy
out
chi
niTr
inay
ouhav
eno
shame"
Il
aughedatherdr
amat
icexpl
ode.

Me:
"uhm,
I'
m ki
ndabusyr
ightnow"
Her:
"unl
essy
ou'
vegotanewmant
henI
'
m notl
ett
ing
yougo"
Me:
"Eeeev
e"
Her
:"
whaaaat
?Iwannaknow"
Me:
"t
her
e'snonewmanokay
.Rel
ax.I
'
m st
il
lsi
ngl
e"

Nt
andocl
ear
edhi
sthr
oat:
v

Her
:"
what
'st
hat
"
Me:
"what
"?
Her
:"
someonej
ustcoughedorsomet
hing"
Me:
"ohI'
m att
hespa,
youmustbehear
ingmy
masseuse"
Thi
sni
qqapi
nchedmeunder
foot:
v

Her
:"
oohokay
,whenl
astdi
dyouspeakt
oyourbest
f
ri
end"
me:
"It
hinkIhav
etwo,
notcount
ingAmanda"
her
:"
ohpuhl
eez"
Me:
"heeewhi
chonekal
ok"
Her
:"
TaBeast
"
Me:
"ohnotsol
ongago,
hecamet
oseeme"
Her
:"
he'
sinJo'
bur
g"
Me:
"yes"
Her
:"
andy
ouguy
shav
en'
tthoughtofr
euni
on"
?

Ifel
thiswei
ghtont
hebed,
onesof
tki
ssonmy
shoulder
.

Me:
"er
h..
.no,
we'
rebot
hbusyatt
hemoment"
Her
:"
you'
l
lal
way
sbebusy
,butl
ovedoesn'
tal
way
s
wai
t"
me:
"Ev
e..
."
Her
:"
Isee,
l
ookIgot
tago"
Me:
"mmht
hanksf
ort
hecal
l
"
Her
:"
any
time"

Byt
hetimeshehungupNt
andowasal
readyt
urni
ng
mearound.
Andt
henwest
art
edki
ssi
ng

Hi
m:"
soy
ou'
resi
ngl
eyousay
"

Iwhi
sper
edmyanswer
..
.
Me:
"l
et'
snotgot
her
e"

Wecont
inuedki
ssi
ng.
Ir
ippedhiscl
othesoff,
oneaft
ertheot
her.
..
wellI
'
m
si
nglenowaren'tI
?LikeI'
vebeenondeser
tforwhat
?
Al
mostt hewholeyear?:
vIknowanopportuni
ty
whenIseeone.

AsmuchasIwasi nahur r
y,hedecidedtotakehis
ti
me.From kissingtonibbli
ng,t
obitingt
oact ual
ly
suckl
ing.Veryslowly,
makingsur ewebot henjoy
eachandev eryminutes,Icansay ,
himrenewi nghis
gym contr
acthaddonesomegoodl otf
orhis
physi
queal ot.Iwasunderal otofheatandhewas
undersomechi ll
.

Atsomepoi ntwefinal
lyrockedtheboat,exchangi
ng
theCaptainseatt
oapoi ntthatl
ateronIgotont he
surfboar
dandswer vedthroughouttheri
de.I
reachedcountl
essorgasms. .
.Webot hdid.

Andt
henwef
loppeddownont
opofeachot
her
..
.
Hi
m:"
you'
rest
il
lsi
ngl
e,
ri
ght
"?
Me:
"mmh,
somet
hingl
i
ket
hat
"
Hi
m:"
thenwe'
ref
ri
endswi
thbenef
it
s"
Me:
"t
hiswasaonce-
offt
hing.Don'
tcountoni
t"
Hi
m:"
khawl
aleuzodeubhude"

Lol
besekukade!
[
10/
10,
19:
17]‪+27730692704‬:
#255

Hewasont
opandhewasheav
y:/

Me:
"babe"
Hi
m:"
mh"
Me:
"canweshi
ftpl
aces"

Hedidn'
tanswer,
hejustshif
tedyandi
m
ongaphezul
u,
Ipul
ledacov erovermybodyandput
onel
egbet
weenhi
slegsandcl
osedmyey
es:
v

Me:
"Nt
ando"
Hi
m:"
lal
ababe"
Me:
"pr
omi
sey
ou'
l
lwakemeupwheny
oul
eav
e"
Hi
m:"
promi
se"

Icl
osedmyey
esndal
ala.
WellIdon'
tknowwhat'
sthi
s..
.f
ri
endshi
por
rel
ati
onshi
p?I'
drat
hernotl
abelitf
ornow.Asl
ong
aswe'rebot
hhappy.
.
.
.

Hi
m:"
baby
"?
If
elthi
m shaki
ngme,
waki
ngmeup.
YhuIpret
endedasifandimva,
hisblanket
swereso
warmthough:'
(:'
(Idi
dn'twannawakeup. .
.OrI
di
dn'
twannaseehi mleave.Ei
therway..
.
Heki
ssedmyear
lobeni
bbl
i
ngoni
t

Me:
"mmh"
Hi
m:"
wakeup"
Me:
"hm"
Hi
m:"
babykal
okv
uka"

Isatupandst r
etched.Ndamjongaandlooked
around,dammithewasr eal
l
ygoing,hi
sbagswere
ready.Iworehisvestandwenttothebathr
oom
ndabuy andemabyt hedoor,
wit
hmyar msf ol
ded
ndamj onga

Hi
m:"
youuhm,
l
ookupset
"
Me:
"uhambany
hani
"?

Wat
hulaandlookeddownthenhegotupandwalked
t
ome,hol
dingmyar msandpull
i
ngmev er
yclose

Hi
m:"
Sibongi
l
e"
Me:
"I
'mj
ust
..
.I'
mjustaski
ng,
that
'sal
l
"
Hi
m:"
we'
rej
ustf
ri
endsr
emember"
Me:
"Iknowt
hat
..
.It
sjust
..
.Mxm,
nev
ermi
nd.
Hamba"
Hi
m:"
sundigxot
haf
ondi
n.ButIdon'
tunder
standy
our
r
eact
ion"
Me:
"di
dyoucheckev
ery
thi
ngy
ou'
l
lneed"
?
Wat
hul
a
Me:
"ndi
cingel
awenakeungashi
yint
ongemv
a"

Hepull
edmetobedandsatusdown,Iwasnow
ashamedofmyr
eact
ion.Whyam Iact
ingl
ikea
t
eenagert
hough?Kut
henmaarndi
act
ormuncunj
e?

Isi
ghedandgat
her
edanydi
gni
tyIhadl
eft

Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Him:"
Kwenzekani
kuwe?Shoul
dIcancel
ndi
ngahambiandmaybetal
ksomethingsi
nthe
morning"
?
Me:
"uhm,
noakhont
oyenzekay
o"
Hi
m:"
Sibongi
l
e..
.okayy
ouknowwhat
,I
'
m notgoi
ng"
Me:
"no,
no,
no!Youcango,
don'
tmi
ndme"
Hi
m:"
usur
e"?
Me:
"yeahndi
sur
e"
Hi
m:"
100%sur
e"?

OkayIki
ndachuckl
edher
e
Him:
"kal
okyou'
regiv
ingmemixedsi
gnal
sher
e,j
ust
becl
earwit
hmet henI'
ll
knowwhatt
odo"
It
ookadeepbr
eat
h.

Me:"Iuhm, Ilovey ouokay .Il

ovey ou,
andnoIdon' t
wanty outogo, Idon' twanttobef arawayf rom you
notev enaf ootdistanceawayf r
om youandt hi
shas
nothingtodowi t
hl astnight.
..
buteveryt
hingt odo
withus.ButIdounder standthatyourty
p'abusi ness
hasrequirement s,regulati
onsandIwon' tstandon
yourwaysouhm. ..Goahead.I '
m abiggi r
l,onenight
won'tmakeadi ffence"

Hewasquietf
orsometi
me.
..Thatsi
l
encemademe
ner
vouskemtchana.

Me:
"youknowwhat
,for
getIsai
dany
thi
ng"
Hi
m:"
thanksf
ory
ourhonest
y"
Me:
"nowIcansl
eepneh"
?
Hi
m:"
no.
..
atl
eastl
etmesaymypar
t"
Me:
"you'
l
lkeepMowai
ti
ng"
Hi
m:"
hecanwai
t"
Me:"
akhoneed,
masambendi
kukhaphet
heguy
swi
l
l
br
ingmeback"
Hi
m:"
Nal
i
quewai
t"

Ididn'twanthi
mt odi
vertf
rom hi
spri
maryfocus,
all
becauseofme.SoIwor emypantsandhel
pedhim
withhi sbagsdownst
air
swalandel
aemvakwam
ethule.

Hisguy
spackedt
hebagsinthecart
henIwentback
tohimi
nsi
dehewasjustst
andingt
here.
..Wi
thhi
s
handsi
nhi
spockets.

Me:
"you'
regoi
ng.
..
ri
ght
"?
Hi
m:"
canwemakeadeal
"
Me:
"asl
ongasIwon'
thav
etoki
l
lany
one"
Hi
m:"i
fIgonow,ndi
zobuy
angomsol
ateandwe'
l
l
t
alkt
histhr
ough"
Me:
"t
alkwhatt
hrough"

Hegav
emet
hatl
ook.
.

Me:
"okay
,sur
e"
Hi
m:"
okay
,comeher
e"

Wehugged,
heki
ssedmyf oreheadt
henwewentt o
t
heai
rport
..
.Naphayawehuggedandev enkissed
t
henwedepart
ed.Iwentbacktohishousendalal
a.

Inthemorninghewokeupmeupngecal l
..
.Itwas
tooear
lyformyclasst
houghbutIpickeditup
anywaycozi t
sthet
houghtt
hatcounts
Me:
"mmh"
Him:
"you'
resti
l
lsl
eepi
ng?Ar
en'
tyousupposedt
obe
goi
ngtoclass"

Ndat
hul
a.

Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"mh"
Hi
m:"
wakeup"
Me:
"I
'm awake"
Hi
m:"
ulel
ekak'
hl
e"?
Me:
"yeah,
howdi
dtheshowdowngo"
?
Hi
m:"
ever
ythi
ngwentwel
l
,awzobal
atekengok"
Me:
"no,
I
'mj
ustsubmi
tt
ingr
emember
"?
Hi
m:"
oohokay
,rememberouragr
eementneh"
Me:
"yeah"
Hi
m:'
'
Iwast
hinki
ng,
may
bey
oushoul
dn'
tgohome
si
ncendi
zobuy
akwanamhl
anj
e"
Me:
"okay
"
Hi
m:"
ift
her
e'sany
thi
ngy
ouneed,
cal
lme"
Me:
"kukhonaukut
yaapha"
?
Hi
m:"
ewef
ondi
n"
Me:
"oohkay
,khay
ekendi
yov
asa"
Hi
m:"
okayshar
p"

Wehungup...Ihad'Ilov
ey ou'hangi
ngontheti
pof
mytongue.
..
justcouldn'
tspiti
tout.Idon'
tknow
why
,maybeI'
v elostmyconf i
denceneh?
AnywayIgotoutofbed, madeitandwentt o
bath.
..
camebackandopenedt hewindows
ndaqoqoshabef oreIironedoutmyclothes.Hahaha
:vokayIwasn' tfeeli
nggloomyatall.
..
hel
lIwas
beyondcloudni ney i
excit
ement!Iwasonhappy
emomt chanam f rom deepdown...
.Ichosetowear
pi
nkf l
oweredpl atfor
ms,whiteboobt
ubejumpsuit
wit
hasweet heartneckli
nenepinkchunkyneckpiece
wit
hmat chingear ri
ngs.Itookmybagandwent
downstai
rsndazenzel
aukut
yaandcal
l
edoneoft
he
dri
ver
sbazondithat
ha

WhenIwasdoneeat i
ng,Il
ockedthehouseandt he
guysdrovemehome.It ooktheassi gnmentandmy
carkeysandheadedtoschool..
.Likehel l
o:Dnoone
i
sgonnar ui
nmymoodt oday!Isubmi t
tedmyt hi
ngs
andcheckedothersubmissi
onsbutIwasr eal
l
yup
todatethenIheadedouttothepar kinglotwhereI
bumpedont oChloe

Her
:"
wehnana!Awsemhl
ebossl
ady
"
Me:
"t
hanky
ouChl
oe"
Her
:"y
ou'reveryscarcewhereareyouhidi
ngyour
sel
f?
Wehav en'
tseeny ouattheShisaNyamainawhil
e?
Oryouandt hebigguynohlukene"
Me:"er
h..
.AsmuchasI'dl
iketostandhereand
chi
tchat,
I
'vegotot
heri
mportantbusi
nessesto
att
endto.Itwasni
ceseei
ngy ouhey"
Her
:"
but
..
."
Il
eftheresameapho:vwhathappensbet weenme
andherbossisnoneofherbusiness.Igoti
nmycar
anddrovetoSpur,
Ineededagreasysteakndafi
ka
andorderedndal
i
ndaandguesswhocal l
edme. .
..
.
o.O

Me:
"hel
l
o"
Her
:"
Tri
na,
howar
eyou"
Me:
"I
'mf
iney
ou"
Her:
"I
'm good,
l
ookIwannaapol
ogi
zeforwhat
happenedthelastt
imewesaweachother
"
Me:
"whatr
eal
l
yhappenedLi
z?Khandcaci
sel
epl
s"
Her
:"
Idon'
tknowhowt
obegi
nthi
s..
."
Me:"youknowwhatr eal
lysurpri
sesme,YOU
Eli
zabethsurpr
iseme.Imeany ouhaveeveryt
hing
youneedr i
ghtunderyournosey etyou'
rebusy
pokingyournoseinmybusi ness."
Her
:"
Iwasj
ustt
ryi
ngt
ohel
p,may
beIgotov
er
exci
tedi
ndoi
ngso"

Meor
dercamet
hrough.
..
Ican'
tl
ett
hisper
sonr
uinmyday
,normymeal

Me:
"may
beneh"
Her:
"andIwon'
tapol
ogizefort
ryi
ngt
osav
eyour
r
elat
ionshi
p,i
tswhatsi
ster
sdo"
Me:"
wellLizzymaybeIshouldthankyou,
youknow.
Butt
henagai n,
whi
chsistercomesontohersist
er'
s
manlikeyoudid?Liket
hat'ssotaboo"
Her
:"
Iwasn'tcomi
ngont ohim.
..Iwasjust
..
.Okay
maybeIhaveaLilcrushonhim buti
tshar
mlesscoz
webothknownothingwill
everhappen"
Me:
"hav
eagooddayEl
i
zabet
h"

Ihungup.
It
ookmymeatandbi
tamout
hful
^_^mmht
hank
y
ouLor
d!
[
10/
10,
19:
17]‪+27730692704‬:
#256

Af
tereat
ingIwenttoSantonCi
ty,
agi
rlcannev
ergo
wr
ongwithalit
tl
eretai
lther
apy
.
Iboughtmy sel
fapairofsexyl
inger
ie,t
wopai
rsof
shoesanddi dmyhairandnail
s.Whileatt
hesal
on,
myot herbr
othercal
l
ed

Me:
"Luu"
Hi
m:"
heysweet
y,howar
eyou"
Me:
"I
'm gr
eat
,you"
?
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tknowhey
"
Me:
"what
'sgoi
ngon"
?
Hi
m:"
Ineedy
out
otal
ktosi
vef
orme"
Me:
"aboutwhat
"
Him:
"she'
sbeenignori
ngmycallsl
atel
y.Ievent
ri
ed
goi
ngtoherhouse,shetol
dsecur
it
ynottoletmein.
Li
ke,
I
'm soconf
usedr
ightnow"
Me:
"weren'
tyouguy
ssupposedt
obeget
ti
ng
mar
riedthi
sDecember"
Hi
m:"wear
e.Look,j
ustt
ryandfi
ndherforme.
Pl
easemanIdon'tknowwhathasgott
enint
oher
"
Me:
"okayboet
"
Hi
m:"
shar
p"
Me:
"cheer
s"

Ohokay:vIdidmynai
l
sandheadedt
oSi
ve'
sfl
at
ndamfounel
a

Her
:"
hey
"
Me:
"hey
,I
'm att
hesecur
it
ygat
e"
Her:
"oohTr
ina!I
'
minPr
etor
iar
ightnow.Cany
ou
comebackl
ater"
Me:
"nopr
obl
em myl
ove"
Her
:"
shar
pCc"
Al
ri
ghtnowIheadedhome.
Di
dIsayhome?
Noman,IwenttoNtando'sapar
tment
..
.Don'taskme
ndi
zot
hini
.Ij
ustoutmyf eetupandcal
ledSoso

Hi
m:"
bhey
ibhi
,ndaal
ahl
wakodwa"
Me:
"nam ndi
yabonauLi
ndoundi
shi
yeny
hani
ngoku"
Hel
aughedoutl
oud:
v

Hi
m:"
unj
ani
ntwanay
am"
Me:
"I
'm gr
eatact
ual
l
y,unj
ani
wena"
Hi
m:"
sameher
esan,
uzani
ninaeKapa"
Me:"y
huIdon'
tev
ent
hinkofcomi
ngt
hatsi
de
ngoku"
Hi
m:"
woy
ikant
on?Ni
sohl
ukenenanot
aBeast
"
Me:
"haha!Wenauv
engabankengok"
?
Hi
m:"
ndev
angoKuhl
e.Li
keIst
il
ldon'
tbel
i
evei
t"
Me:
"mxm nei
therdoI
"
Hi
m:"
hai
kengok!I
thi
ninal
ent
oyenuf
ondi
n"
Me:
"Sosobr
a.Thi
sisal
lamess"
Hi
m:"
who'
sideawast
hisbr
eakupi
nthef
ir
stpl
ace"
?
Me:
"i
twasmi
ne"
Hi
m:"uy
agul
akodwamyfr
iend.Doy
ouknowhow
manyfl
oozi
eswoul
dki
l
ltohaveamanli
ketaBeast
"
Me:"butthenSosoithel
pedmef ocusonmy
studi
es,sofar
.Butnowt hatndi
gqi
bil
engokuIdon'
t
thi
nkIcanmai ntai
nitanymore"
Hi
m:"
uyamqhel
akodwaubhut
ikaKuhl
emt
chana"
Me:"
cummonSosobr
a,seet
hisf
rom mypoi
ntof
vi
ew"
Him:
"uy
agul
amyf
ri
endf
ini
shandkl
aar
.Iwon'
tl
iet
o
you"
Me:
"okaySoso"
Ihungup:
(
Hecal
l
edagai
n

Me:
"mmh"
Hi
m:"
usamt
handa"
?
Me:
"yes"
Him:"
thentel
lhi
m,noamountofworkcancome
betweenloveasl
ongasy
ouguy sagr
eeonthat
"
Me:
"It
oldhi
m"
Hi
m:"
when"
Me:
"l
astni
ght
,hewasher
e"
Him:"
whoahwait.Lastni
ght
?Ij
ustsawt
hisguy
aphaekapanotsolongago"
Me:
"uy
amaznj
euNt
andobr
a"
Hi
m:"ohwell
.
..Myfr
iend.What'
simpor
tanti
sthat
umxelel
enowtheball
isinhi
scourt
"
Me:
"ut
heuzobuy
anamhl
anj
elat
esowecant
alk"
Hi
m:"
that
'sagoodsi
gn.
.neh"
Me:"
well
Ithi
nkso...Imean,IknowImightnotagr
ee
wi
thalotoft
hingshesay sordoesbutndamthanda
ny
haniSosomf et
hu"
Hi
m:"t
hentel
lhimthat
..
.heneedst
oknowi
tay
ive
st
rai
ghtf
rom yourmouth"
Me:
"Iknow.Thanksmyf
ri
end"
Him:"
anyt
ime..Nowmovi
ngri
ghtal
ong,
ithi
nii
nto
phakat
hikwakhonomakaLandi
le"
?
Me:"yhoooo!Mk.
..Shet
hinksndi
ngumt
shana
wakhe"
Hi
m:"
how"
Me:
"awnamal
umewho'
sinj
ail
"
Hi
m:"
yahut
aBongs"
Me:
"appar
ent
lyI
'
m hi
sdaught
erke"
Him:
"what?Li
ke.
..Utabongshasbeenar
rest
edfor
what?20somethingy
ears?Andhelef
tadaught
er
behi
nd"?
Me:"
kutshoumamakhokentwana,
Ijustdon'
tknow
whattomakeofal
lofthi
s"
Hi
m:"
soy
ouhav
en'
treal
l
yaccept
edi
t"
Me:"
I'
mtry
ing,Iwannameethim nehandIwantt
o
askhi
m acoupleofquest
ionsbutI'
m af
rai
d"
Hi
m:"
you'
reaf
rai
dofr
eject
ion"
?
Me:
"lawei
.Ican'
tst
andr
eject
ionSoso,
i
tti
psmeof
f"
Him:"
butuyay
azyoucanneverholdi
tofff
orever
,you
havetoseehi
m andat
leastgety
ouranswerske"
Me:
"It
hinkndi
zozi
ncamaSosondi
ye.Uy
amazmos"
Hi
m:"
weusedt
ovi
sithi
minj
ail
"
Me:
"ungumnt
uonj
an"
Him:"
Ican'
tsaymuchhey ,
umnt
uxaephay
a
becomesadiff
erentper
son"
Me:
"neh"
Hi
m:"
buty
ouhav
etogoandseehi
m,f
ory
our
sel
f"
Me:
"yeah.
..Ihav
etogo,
Ihav
eacal
lcomi
ngt
hrough"
Hi
m:"
alr
ight
,shar
pneh"
Me:
"shont
wana"
[
10/
10,
19:
18]‪+27730692704‬:
#257
It
ookt
henextcal
l
...

Me:
"MrNt
abeni
"
Hi
m:"
I'
m onmyway
"
Me:
"oh.
..
sosoon"
Hi
m:"
yeah"
Me:
"oh-
kayIguess"

Thenhehungup:
/whyi
shesoser
ioust
hough?
Ical
l
edupVi
nce

Hi
m:"
Tee,
awnqabe?Unj
ani
"
Me:"I
'
m good.
..
cany
'al
lmakeadel
i
ver
y?Ndonqena
uzapho"
Hi
m:"
whatdoy
ouwantdel
i
ver
edt
oyouma'
am "
Me:
"ndcel
asausagey
eR50nepor
kyeR100pl
s,wel
l
done"
Hi
m:"
chi
l
liormi
l
d"
Me:
"chi
l
libhut
i"
hi
m:"
okay
,ukokwenu"
?
Me:
"yourbr
other
'shouse"
Hi
m:"
alr
ight
.Justgi
mme25-
30mi
nut
es"
Me:
"enkosi
"

Wehungup
Igotupandmadechakalakaandpapwhi l
ewaiting
fort
hedeli
ver
ythenIwenttoconductaresear
ch
aboutmydadonmyl apt
op.Halfwaythr
ough,iheard
aknockandGuesswhodel i
ver
edmyor der?Chloe!
Iopenedthedoorandt
ooktheor
dertothekit
chen
ndabuyasezi
ngenel
eehl
eli
onthecouch,Igav
eher
R200

Her
:"
didn'
tVi
ncet
ell
youIdon'
tcar
rychangewi
th
me"
?
Me:
"youcankeepi
tthanky
ou"
Her
:"
ahubossyl
adyf
ondi
n"

Iwasn'
tgonnaent
ertai
nhernamhlanj
eofal
ldays
she'
sgotmendingekhori
ghtshame.Andi
naener
gy.
Tu.
SoIwentt
oopenthedoorandst
oodholdi
ngi
twi
de
openf
orher,
shegotupandwal
kedout

Her
:"
Idon'
tthi
nky
oul
i
keme.
..
"
Me:
"am Isupposedt
o"?
Her
:"
well
notr
eal
l
y,but
,lookIadmi
rey
ou.Ver
y
much"
Me:
"t
hanksChl
oenowpl
easeneh"
Her
:"
whydoy ouhavetobethi
scoldnah?
Awqhel
angakunconywa?oruphakami
leqha"
?
OhLor
d!
Real
l
y?

Me:"
myapologiesbutcanyoupl
sgonow,
Ireal
l
y
needtogetbacktowhatIwasdoing"
Her
:"
areyoualwaysthi
soffi
sh?Imeandamn!Ifeel
sol
it
tl
erightnow,
makesmewonder .
..
maybeLibo
wasri
ghtaboutyouall
along"

Icl
osedmydoorandwentbackt
othatr
esear
chI
wasdoing.
Ther
ewasn'
tmucht
hough.
.

SoIcal
l
edFai
th

Her
:"
hey
,l
ongt
ime'
'
Me:
"hi
..
.Iuhm,
Ineedt
oseey
ou"
Her
:"
okay
,when"
?
Me:"I
'm notsur
e..
.Ineedt
oknowwhencany ou
scheduleadaysiyobonaubr
otherwakho"
Her
:"
whenev
ery
ou'
rer
eadysi
si"
Me:
"uphi
yena,
sot
hatsi
vel
esi
dibanekhona"
Her
:"
useCr
adock"
Me:"
okay
,I'
l
lgi
vey
ouacal
lwhenI
'
vedeci
dedona
day
"
Her
:"
alr
ight
.Thanky
ouhey
"
Me:
"sur
e"

Ihungup.
..Nowmypani cwashowdoIt el
lNtando
thi
s?OrhowdoIhi dei
tfrom him?Itookadeep
breat
handcall
edhim..
.Ineededtoknowhowf arhe
i
ssoIcanr eal
l
ypreparemy sel
fandmyspeeches
andanswerskule3Tal
ksizoyenzatoni
ght.

Hi
m:"
TaBeast
'
sphonecanIhel
p"?
Me:
"Ranger"
?
Hi
m:"Tee.
..TaBeasti
sbusyr
ightnowndi
ngat
hat
ha
umyal
ezo"
Me:"uhm,
no.Pl
saskhi
mtocal
lmewhenheget
sa
chance"
Hi
m:"
usur
e?Akhont
oiur
gent
"?
Me:
"uhm no.
..ButcanIask.
..
wher
ear
ey'
al
l"
?
Hi
m:"
we'
rei
nPr
etor
ia"
Me:
"yho!Uhm.
..
okayshar
p"
Hi
m:"
us-
"

Ihungup.
..Butt
henwhydi
dn'
thesaysebel
apha?:
(
Whi l
eIwasstil
lsul
kingSivecall
edwat hiusendl
ini
yakhesoIuhm, woremysl i
ppersanddr overover.
Thesecuri
tyopenedf ormeandIpar kedandwal ked
upt oherf
lat
,shewel comedmewi thahuganda
glassoffr
eshlysqueezedorangejui
ce

Her
:"
sowhat
'sup"
Me:
"goodquest
ion,
what
'
sup'
'
Her
:"
Idon'
tgety
ou"
Me:
"you'
rei
gnor
ingmybr
other
'scal
l
s"

Herey
esduckedaway
.

Me:
"so"
?
Her
:"
Idon'
tthi
nkIcangot
hroughwi
tht
hisweddi
ng"
Me:
"t
hent
ell
him"
Her
:"
Ican'
t"

Nowthi
sisst
upidi
ty.
..hel
l
o?Ihavemyown
pr
obl
emshangingovermyt hi
ckhead.

Idi
aledmybr
other
'snumberandgav
ehermy
phone,
onl
oudspeaker
Me:
"t
ell
him"
Her
:"
Teepl
sdon'
td-
"

-
Luu:
"heyTee"
Ndamj
onga.
Luu:
"Tr
ina"
?
Shecl
ear
edhert
hroat
..
.
Her
:"
heybabe.I
tsme"
Hi
m:"
yhoSi
veI
'
vebeencal
l
ingy
ou,
what
'sgoi
ngon"
?
Her:
"canwemeetf
ordi
nner
?Ihav
esomet
hingt
otel
l
you"
Hi
m:"okayI
'
minSowet
onowbutI
'
llmake8t
hat
si
de"
Her
:"
okay
,myf
lat
"
Hi
m:"
thanky
ou"
Si
l
ence.
..

Hi
m:"
Ilov
eyouSi
ve"
Her
:"
Iknowbaby
,can'
twai
ttoseey
ou"

Hechuckl
edandtheyhungup.
..Ihadthreemissed
cal
lsfr
om Nt
ando:oandIhadonlybroughtt
his
phoneher
eeziny
endizi
shi
yi
le

Me:
"wel
l
,myj
obi
sdoneher
e.By
eby
e"
Her
:"
wishmel
uck"
Me:
"j
ustbehonestwi
thhi
m,y
ou'
l
lbef
ine"

Wehuggedndaphumaandgoti
ntomycar
,cal
l
ed
Nt
andowhil
edriv
ingoutoft
hef
lat
s

Hi
m:"
S'bongi
l
e"
Me:
"heyuhm.
..Ndi
bonai
i
missedcal
l
szakho"
Hi
m:"
uphi
nahf
ondi
nushi
yeneephonezakho"
Me:
"oh,
sowf
iki
l
e"
Hi
m:"
ndi
sandongena.Uphi
"
Me:
"ndi
yeza,
uhl
eli
naban"
Hi
m:"
namaj
i
ta"
Me:
"okay
,I
'l
lbet
her
einaf
ewmi
nut
es"
Hi
m:"
sho"

Wehungup, Idrov
eatmyownpace: vIwasmor e
nerv
ousabout" thetal
k"ngoku.You'
dswearSiy
aku
doctorPhilorsomethi
ng.Idroveinandpar
ked,
took
adeepbr eathandwalkedout..
.Umntuumhlewonke
mtchanaqhaubet hangeslipper
s:v

Iknockedandwal kedi
n..
.Ther
ewas
Gudda,Ranger,
X..
andthosetwoguy
sfr
om Dur
ban.
..
Dri
nkingwhiskey.
Me:
"er
h..
.Mol
weni
"
Them:
"bossl
ady
"

Real
l
y?:
/Lol
ohwhat
ever:
v:v

Icl
osedthedooragai
nandwalkedtothekit
chen,
I
neededajui
ce.Mythr
oathadsuddenlywentdr
y.
Ndafi
kaekit
chenkukhouStevewalaphaeJozi

Me:
"hey
"
Hi
m:"
sist
eri
,ugr
and"
Me:
"I
'm goodman,
ndcel
aundkhuphel
eij
uice"

Hedi
d..
.
Ipour
edmy
sel
fagl
assanddownedi
t

Hi
m:"
youdon'
tl
ookl
i
key
ouwer
ejoggi
ng"
Ij
ustsmi
l
edathi
m

Me:
"yeahwhat
ever
,wher
e'sy
ourboss"
?
Hi
m:"
Ithi
nkhe'
supst
air
s"
Me:
"mmh,
l
emmegof
indhi
m"

Iwalkedupst airsandhear dtheshower .

..Isatont he
bedwi t
hmysweat ypalmsbutt henIwasl i
ke
"gir
l,
gety ourmi ndr ight,
thisisYOURmanokay .
Nerv ousmyf oot "hahamxm It ookhi sphoneand
wentt ost andbyt hewi ndowndat hathaiself
ie^ _
^a
coupl eofselfiesi nfactIev enwentt othefullmirror
andt ookmor e,waphumandsaf ota, Isawhi m behind
mewi that owel aroundhi swai st.
..hismuscl eshad
gottenbi gger:pIdi dn'treall
ynot i
cet hem last
night,t
houghIf eltthewei ght.

Hi
m:"
mmh,
ubumhl
e"
Me:
"st
il
lam.
..
you'
rephot
obombi
ngmysel
fi
esnow"
ThewayhewassocloseImustadmi tIthoughthe
wasgonnaki
ssmyneck...
buthedidn'
t:/haha!He
j
ustmovedtohi
sclosetandsear
chedf orcl
othes
wanxi
baasIwentbacktositonhi
sbedandcr ossed
mylegsj
ustwat
chedhim

Hi
m:"
seesomet
hingy
oul
i
ke"
?
Me:
"nah.
..
justsomet
hingIcoul
dwor
kon"
Hi
m:"
tchi
n,
khawuv
e,t
hecheek"

Hahaha!Yhuanday
ihl
ekaNkos'
yam!
Hecamet
osi
tdownnextt
ome

Hi
m:"
sohowwasy
ourday
,Iseey
ougotnewhai
r
t
oo"

her
anhi
sfi
nger
sdownmyhai
rst
rands
Me:
"i
twasgr
eat
.Your
s"?
Hi
m:"
busy
,busy
..
.AndIcoul
ddowi
thahomecooked
meal
"
Me:
"ani
tyanga?Icookednj
e"
Hi
m:"IsawitbutIt
oldt
hem nott
otoucht
hatf
ood
mabazenzel
ebabalambil
e"
Me:
"ooh,
may
beSt
evewascooki
ngke"
Hi
m:"
goodf
ort
hem"

Thelookonhiseyes:
vIdeci
dedtot estt
hewat
ers
nj
ekancinci
,Imovedi
nforakiss.
..
hef ol
l
owedthe
l
ead.Thenwhenhewasaboutt otouchme,I
st
oppedandsmi l
edathi
sconfusi
on

Me:
"Imi
ssedy
ou"
Hi
m:"
Iknowt
hat,
butI
'm notsur
ewhet hery
ou
mi
ssedmeoryou'
reeagerforl
ancoko"
Me:
"f
tsek"
Oops:
/di
dIsayt
hat
?
Hi
m:"
huh"
?
Me:
"no,
not
hingbabe.
..
Imean,
Ntando"

Hekissedmyneckandbi
titkanci
nci
..
.Isqui
rmed
#hi
des!

Me:
"don'
t.
..
do.
..
that
.Wehav
eguest
sdownst
air
s"
Hi
m:"
Iwoul
dn'
tmi
ndbei
ngaguestdownt
her
e"
Me:
"you'
redi
rt
y"

Hahaha!Damnittheat
tent
ionIwasrecei
ving.
Maaayyynnn^_^^_^hi
skisseswereseducti
ve.
..
ver
y
seduct
ive.Idi
dn'
twannauncrossmylegs,
whatifI
fi
ndawetspotsomewher ethere?

Hi
m:"
Ilov
eyout
oo"
Thenhemov edbackandputonli
pbalm onhi
s
l
ips,smi
l
ing.Ir
ecol
lect
edmysel
fandlaughedathow
sil
l
ywecanbe.

Me:
"so.
..
whatnow"
?
Hi
m:"
kul
ateandt
heseguy
shav
etogetgoi
ng"
Me:
"I
'l
lj
ustt
akeashower
"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
bebackt
odr
yyouof
f"
Me:
"ha.
andi
sor
tedmt
chanam "

Hel aughedandl eftmet here,Iundr

essedandwent
tobat h,
nonono. ..Iwasn'tgonnashower .Iwalked
outt hebathroom andtookachocol ateslabfrom my
bagandr et
urnedt obathIsoakedmy sel
finand
closedmyey esasIallowedt hechocbubbl esto
mel t
.Atsomepoi ntheknockedandwal kedin

Hi
m:"
Ishoul
d'
veseent
hiscomi
ng"
Me:
"zi
mni
ki
lei
i
guy
s"?
Hi
m:"
kudal
a"
Me:
"j
ustf
ivemor
emi
nut
es"

Heclosedt hedoor ,Lol

ndaphumaanddr iedmy sel
f.I
hadalreadyt akenoutthatnewlinger
ie,
wor eone
andcov er
edmy sel
fwithafl
uff
ygown.Ndaf ika
sengqenqgile,Igotinonmysideandsmi ledathis
fr
ownedf ace

Me:
"ut
yil
e"?
Hi
m:"
I'
m wai
ti
ngf
ory
ou"

Igotoutofbedandwentdownst ai
rs,hefol
l
owedas
Iwarmedthef oodanddishedupforbothofust
hen
serv
edhimf i
rst.Sat
yake.

Hi
m:"
so,l
emmegett
hisst
rai
ght
.Younol
ongerwant
t
obesingl
e'
'
Me:
"ha.
a"
hi
m:"thenwhycomebackt ome?andnotgoman-
hunt
ing..Imean,
I'
m sur
ether
ear
ealotofmenwho
woul
dl ineupforyou"

Ineverthoughthe'
daskmet
hisquest
ion:
vIwas
neverreadyntangam!

me:"
well
,seei
ngthatI
'mtheonewhosuggest
edt
he
br
eakupIthoughtnowthatI
'
mreadyt
omake-up
whynot"
?
Hi
m:"
whati
fmnandi
grandwher
ethi
ngsar
e"

Oohf
li
p!
Ishoul
dhav
ethoughtaboutt
hist
oot
hougho.
O
ButthenIwasn'
tbacki
ngdown, i
feverI
'm gonnaget
thi
srightt
hist
imearoundt
henI'l
lbeconsiderat
ebut
I
'll
standmygroundforwhatIbel
iev
ei n
Me:
"wel
lIcan'
tfor
cey
out
ochangey
ourmi
nd"
Hi
m:"
tr
ue"

Lol
..
.Okay,
nowIgott
acal
cul
ateev
erysi
ngl
ewor
dI
utt
er.I
tcoul
dbackf
ir
e!
[
10/
10,
19:
18]‪+27730692704‬:
#258

LolIl
ookedathi m.
..
myconf i
dencetryi
ngtofai
l me.I
satri
ght,
bysit
tingr
ightImeanIfixedmygown, nje
kwavelai
thangaandIwassur emycl eavagei
krobil
e
nobainci
nci..
.whet
herIlur
ehimi ntothi
sor
what,
that
'supt ome.

Me:"
butyouhav
etounder
standt
hatIwon'
tback
downeit
her"
Him:"whatdoy oumeany
ouwon'
tbackdown,
ayo
batt
lezonelena"
Me:"
whatImeani
s,ngokuIknowwhatIwant
.I
knowIam r
eadyf
orit
,youbeinggr
andkul
ecurr
ent
st
atussi
kuy
owon'
tst
opme"

Wat
yaumnt
u
Nam ndat
yat
chi
n.

Whenhewasfi
nishedhegotupandpouredhi
mself
agl
assofwhi
skey,remov
edhisshoesandrel
axed

Hi
m:"
ndi
yakuv
a.Justaquest
ion"
Me:
'
'pr
oceed"
Him:"
sowe'vebrokenupforalmostayear,
what'
s
newngoku?Imean, I
fIagr
eetobeinthis
rel
ati
onshi
pagain.
..WhatshouldIl
ookforwar
dtole
i
bingekhokuqal
a"

-
_-i
sthi
sabusi
nesspr
oposal
orwhat
?

Me:
"wel
l
,fi
rstt
hingwoul
dbeef
for
t.Ir
eal
i
zedt
hatI
wasn'
tmaki
nganyeffor
tprev
iousl
y.Iwasj
uston
t
herecei
vi
ngendal
lthetime"

Hetookasi
pandlookedatme,
l
ikesur
veyedme...
Thatmademeuncomfort
abl
ebut,
Iwasn'
tbacki
ng
down.

Me:
"doy
ouper
hapshav
eanot
herquest
ion"
?
Him:"
mmh.Notreal
l
y .
..ButI
'
dli
ket
oknow,
what
happenedbet
weenyouandLiz"

o.
Oreal
l
y?

Me:
"not
hing"
Hi
m:"
undenzamuncukengok"

Isighed.
..Whyishemakingt
hisdi
ff
icul
tnah?Or
yenaakaf uni
sbuyel
ane?
Him:
"i
fwe'redoi
ngthi
sagain,
wegonnadoit
r
ight
..
.honest
ybei
ngthefoundat
ionbef
orel
ove"
Me:"
Ntandoplease,
Lizhasnot
hingt
odowi
thour
r
elat
ionshi
p"
Hi
m:"tr
uebutnguweloungafuni
youbahonest
.I'
m
t
alki
ngabouthonest
ynotaboutLiz"
Me:"ndcelasiberealt
ana.AsmuchasIwantust o
reuni
te,youhav etoknowtherearet
hingsIcan'
trun
pastyoui nasmuchasIrespectyouandyour
opini
on"
Hi
m:"yaybonakel
egener
ati
ony
eri
ght
sne
i
ndependency"
Me:
"awf
uni
wenandizi
mel
e?Hav
emyownopi
nion?
Hav
emyownvoice?Bemyownper
son"
?
Hi
m:"that'
snotwhatI'
m say
ing,butukuzei
r
elat
ionshipiexcel
l
'ef
unekakubekhotranspar
ency"
Me:"
myai misnott
oexcel
butt
obeinareal
r
elat
ionshi
pwithareal
manwhowantswhat
'sbest
f
orhisrealwoman"
Him:
"maybeI
'
llgetar
eal
fami
l
youtoft
hisr
eal
ness
oneday
"
Me:"that
'si
fy ouplayyourcar
dsr i
ght.Eachand
everystr
ongr el
ati
onshiphastohav egroundrul
es
thatcan'
tbet ar
nishedandmor alsthatcan'
tbe
brushedaside.Notall
owingadi sagreementbecome
afightorafightbecomeagapwher eathir
dperson
enters"

Het
ookanot
hersi
p..
.

Hi
m:"
sigr
and"
Me:"
thankyou,f
orf
urt
herquest
ionsplsdon'
t
hesi
tat
etospeaktome..
.I
'
llbemorethanhappyt
o
assi
styousir
"
Hi
m:"
ndazozi
fakaegqwet
heni
kanene"

:
v
Me:"
nowthatsigr
and.
..
canIcally
oubabe?Ory
ou'
re
st
il
lcomf
ortabl
einbei
ngmyf r
iend"?
Hi
m:"
sund'
qhel
akeS'
bongi
l
e"

Icol
lect
edtheplatesandcamebackt ositonhi
slap
wit
hmyar msar oundhisneck,
Iki
ssedhisnose
bri
dgeandsmiled.

Me:
"ndi
yakut
handamf
ethu"
Hi
m:"
Ijustr
eal
i
zedhowmuchI
'
vemi
ssedy
ou"
Me:"
andI'
m sur
eyoucanseehowI
'
vesur
viv
ed
wi
thouty
ou"
Him:"
I'
m evensurpr
ised..
.Ngokubendisi
thi
you
shouldcall
xaufunaintoIact
uall
ythoughtyouwil
l
cal
l.Ndiyot
hukaxandfi
kautshi
ntsheii
nweleand
nai
ls"
Me:"
ubungekhof
orsol
ong,
Iwasj
ustshowi
ngy
ouI
canmanage"
Hi
m:"
Irespecty
ou"
Iki
ssedhi
m..
.
Andt
henwehear
daknocksaj
ongana.

Iwentt
oopen,
hewasonsocks>_
<

Me:
"Li
bhongo"
?
Her
:"
hi.
..
canIcomei
n"?

Ifrownedandmadewaywangena,shesatdownand
greetedNt
ando.Helookedatmequizzi
cal
l
y,I
shruggedandsatnextt
ohim.

Me:
"er
h..
.Ushar
p"
Her
:"
I'
m cool
.
..Iwaswonder
ingi
fwecoul
dtal
k"
Me:
"oh"
Il
ookedatNt
ando,
hegotupandkissedme
wahambawit
houtsay
ingaword.

Me:
"okay
"
Her:
"Iuhm,fi
rstIwantt
oapol
ogi
zeaboutChl
oe'
s
behavi
ortowardsyou"
Me:
"what
'si
ttoy
ou"
Her:
"Chl
oeandIaref
ri
ends,
fr
om highschool
.So
duri
ngthatti
mewehadaLilprobl
em mnanoVi nce
bendi
mbalisel
a"
Me:
"oh"
Her:
"andaft
erwef i
xedourprobl
emsndamxelelabut
she'
salwaysbeli
evedyou'
rethevi
ll
aint
hatcamet o
rui
nmyr el
ati
onshi
p.Butndiy
akucel
adon'tmindher"
Me:"
wellsweedyIhavemoreimportantt
hingst
o
worr
yabout ,
though,
I'
dli
kehertoknowherplace
andrespectmeinmyownpl ace"
Her:
"I
'l
lmakesur
eoft
hat
.Thanky
ouf
or
under
standi
ng"
Me:
"nopr
obl
em"

Shegotupandwal
kedt
owar
dst
hedoor
..
.

Her
:"
erh,
unqabi
l
e.Usahl
alaaphaeJo'
bur
g"?
Me:
"yeahI
'
vej
ustbeenbusy
"
Her:
"oh.
..
I'
vehear
drumor
s.May
bet
heyar
enott
rue
phof
"
Me:
"r
umor
s"?
Her
:"
thaty
oubr
okeupwi
tht
hebi
gguy
"
Me:
"kut
shoban"
?
Her
:"
li
keIsai
d,i
tsj
ustr
umor
s"
Me:"
wel
lIdon'
tknow..
.cozkekwauChl
oecamet
o
del
i
vermyorderapha"
Her
:"
yeah.
..
wrongi
nfor
mat
ion.Soy
ousayni
segr
and
nebi
gguy"
Me:"
muchstr
ongerthanbef
ore,
notthati
tsanyof
any
one'
sbusi
ness.ButImustsay,y
'al
lhave
t
ime.
..
keepi
ngsomuchi
nter
esti
nmybusi
ness"
Her
:"
for
getIsai
dany
thi
ng"

Ismil
edasshewalkedout,
Icl
osedt
hedoorand
l
ocked,
switchedof
fthel
i
ghtsadwentupst
air
sfika
el
eleutat
akaOwe.
[
10/
10,
19:
18]‪+27730692704‬:
#259

Iswit
chedof ftheli
ght
s,cl
osedt hecur
tai
nsandgot
i
nbedst il
lint hatgown.Ididn'
twakehim up,
heonly
sl
eepssof astwhenhe'stir
edandknowi ngthathe
didn'
treal
lygetenoughsl eep..
.Iknewbett
erthant
o
wakehi m up.

Wast
eyel
i
nger
ie?
Hel
lno,
aslongasIfel
tsexyini
ttheni
tsnowast
e.I
r
emovedthatgownndal
alakengoknam.

I
NTHEMORNI
NG
Iwokeupbef orehim andwalkeddownstair
ssti
lli
n
thatl
inger
ie,
Imadebr eakf
ast
.Thetr
adi
tional
porri
dgethattakesy oubackhome,
wellImissedit
.
Hecamedown, justassomeonewasknocki ng:
/
Whodoest
hat
?Vukel
aemzi
niekuseni
.

Ihear
dfami
l
iarv
oices.
..

Hi
m:"
baby
"

Lolhi
svoi
cewasst
il
lsl
eepyandhusky
..
.ver
ysexy
kum.

Me:
"hel
l
o"
Hi
m:"
someonei
sher
etoseey
ou"
Me:
"doy
ouknowher
"?
Hi
m:"
oneofVi
nce'
swor
ker
s"
Iheardthedoorcl osing,wellIwasn'
tgonnadrop
everythi
ngf orher,
Iknewi tseit
herLi
bhongoorChloe.
Idishedupf ormynewl yfoundmanandputhi s
breakfastinat r
ay,hewalkedintotheki
tchenand
smi l
ed,wasondel aandkissedev er
ywherehecoul
d
gethislipson

Hi
m:"
thi
sisonehel
l
uvagr
eatbr
eakf
ast"
Me:
"mmh,
l
emmegot
othi
sgi
rl
..
uzot
yel
aphi
"
Hi
m:"
lounge"

Itookhistr
aytotheloungewhilehewasbusyt r
y na
eatallofmeinthatkit
chen,Chloe'seyesalmost
poppedoutwhenshesawmehal fnaked>_<wel
l
that'
swhatyougetwheny ouknockonpeopl e'
s
doorswhent heyshoul
dbehav ingamor ni
ngquicki
e.
Ntandosatdownandst ar
tedeating

Il
ookedatChl
oe
Me:
"mor
ning,
whatbr
ingsy
ouher
e"
Her
:"
Ibr
oughtt
hisuhm,
peaceof
fer
ing"

Shegav
emeagi
ftbag:
/
Nt
andoey
edme,
Ipr
etendedasi
fandi
mboni

Me:
"er
h..
.t
her
e'snoneed"
Her
:"
Ihadat
alkwi
thLi
bo.I
'
mreal
l
ysor
ry"
Me:
"sur
e"
Bae:
"what
'sy
ournameagai
n"?
Her
:"
Chl
oe"
Bae:"
oh,
soyou'
ret
heonewhoindi
rect
lysuggest
ed
thatSi
bongi
l
eusesherbodyt
ogetmoney "

Ohshi
t!Her
emember
edt
hat
?
Shewassuddenl
yuncomf
ort
abl
e
Her
:"
Idi
d?When"
?
Bae:"aboutayearago.Shewaseat i
ngatt
he
Shi
saNy amaandy ouwer eser
vingheri
fI'
m not
mistaken..
.r
avi
ngonandonabouthowt herestof
y'
all
hav etoworky ourbut
tsof
fy etl
ookhal
fasgood
asher "

Iclear
edmyt hr
oat,
thi
swasmor ethan
uncomf ort
able.
..
ndandi
khubeki
l
ekengalami ni
andI
respecthim somuchcozkucaci l
eheli
stenedwhen
Icompl ai
nedkuye.

Me:
"you'
regoi
ngt
owor
k,r
ight
"?
Her
:"
uhhhy
eah"
Me:
"andwewoul
dn'
twanty
out
obel
ate"
Bae:
"butndi
sat
het
hanoChl
oebabe"
Me:
"khay
ekengokul
ove"
Bae:
"AndIhear
dyout
heot
herdayaty
ourwor
kpl
ace
t
alki
ngabouthert
oyourf
ell
owcol
l
eagues"

:
vwel
lakazot
het
hel
wandi
mthi
sti
mear
ound.

Me:
"wel
lexcuseme"

Iwentt
owearmyr
obendabuy
anepapay
am.
Her:
"I
'mreal
l
ysor
rysi
r,
thatwasoutbl
ownof
pr
oporti
on"
Bae:
"Isee"

Ididn'
tknowwhatt
heywer
eonabout..
.ButIwas
gladChloewi
l
lbeputi
nherpl
ace.Haytyhi
ni!

Hi
m:"
youdoknowt
hatI
'
m noty
ourbossr
ight
"?
Her
:"
yessi
r"
Him:
"butIhavemorepowert
hanyourboss,
wit
hthat
bei
ngsaid.I
'dl
ikey
outokeepiny
ourlane,
keepyour
noseinyourbusi
nessandkeepy
ourwor
dsi
nyour
mouth"
Me:
"Nt
andohay
i"
Hi
m:"
it
sforhersake"
Her
:"
Iful
l
yunder
standsi
r"
Hi
m:"
hav
eagooddayt
hen"

Waphakamawaphumacl
osi
ngt
hedoorbehi
ndher
.
Il
ookedatt
hisni
qqa.

Hi
m:"
what
"?
Me:
"di
dyouhav
etodot
hat
"
Hi
m:"she'
sbeencr
ossi
ngboundar
ies,
someonehad
t
ostepin"
Me:"
butbabyI
'
llgett
hef
unnyl
ookswhenIgot
othe
Shi
saNyamaagain"
Hi
m:"
hm,
we'
l
lhav
etogot
odayndi
zi
bonel
elont
o"
:
vhedoesn'
tunder
standneh?

Weateup,
Iwenttowashthedishes,
hecameto
r
emovemyr obendamyeka.Justwhenhewasabout
t
oremovemycor sethi
sphonerang:v

Hi
m:"
Ihav
etot
aket
his"
Me:
"goahead"
.
..
Hi
m:"
makhul
u"?

Il
efthi
m nday
ovasa

WhenIwasdoneImadet hebed,openedwi ndows

andsweptt heroom t henIgotdressed.Iwor enavy
trackpants,
sl
ippersandawhi tevest.
..
hopingwe'll
j
ustspendt hedayi ndoor scozIwasn'treal
lyinthe
moodt ogoout ,wel
l unlessSosowoul dsayhe' si
n
townI'm sur
eI '
dchangemymi nd.WhenIwasdoneI
j
ustl
ayonmybackr
elaxi
ng

Hi
m:"
hehf
ondi
nsew'
vasi
l
e"
Me:
"duh"
Hi
m:"
makhul
uuy
ahambangoDecember"
Me:
"kengoky
int
onngxaki
"
Hi
m:"
abant
wanabam f
ondi
n"
Me:
"ooh"

:
vwhatam Isupposedt
osay
?>_
<

Hesatont
hebedt
hinki
ng

Me:
"uzobat
hat
hamos"
Hi
m:"
Ican'
t,
unl
essI
'
llhav
etof
indt
hem ananny
"
Me:
"ni
zohl
alaphi
"?
Hi
m:"
ther
e'san80%chancewe'
l
lbei
nCT"
Me:
"yhohai
kendi
outngebai
l
,I
'dof
fert
oassi
st"
Hi
m:"
ifsi
zeaphay
ou'
l
lassi
st"
?
Me:
"wel
lndabakhumbul
anam butcapet
owni
sano-
nof
ormet hi
syear"
Hi
m:"
okay
,ndi
zoy
obat
hat
hake"
Me:"
uyazikebalendl
uisnotevenclosetobei
ng
chi
l
df r
iendl
yakhonendawoy odl
alaapha"
Hi
m:"
butt
henIcan'
tbui
l
tahousei
namont
hbaby
man"
Me:
"whatI
'
mt r
yingt
osayis,
we'l
lbespendingmore
t
imeekhay
a.Nobakebazobuyalat
ebazolalanawe"
Hi
m:"
ooh.We'
l
lseexasebekhona"
Me:
"mmh"

Hel
aynextt
omeonhi
sbackt
oo

Me:
"don'
tyouhav
eany
wher
etogo"
?
Hi
m:"
I'
m goi
ng,
butaf
terl
unch"
Me:
"uy
aphi
"
Hi
m:"
Pret
ori
a"
Me:
"mmh,
thenI
'
llhav
etogohomet
oo"
Hi
m:"
ngoba"
?

Idi
dn'
tanswerhi
m

Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"babe,
uzohl
alahowl
ongapha"
?
Hi
m:"
nowthatwe'reokayIshoul
dprobablyspenda
f
ewdays,maybeaweekndi phi
ndendihambe.This
i
sourbusi
estseason"
Me:
"mmh"
Hi
m:"
why
"?
Me:
"I
'mj
ustaski
ng"

Webot
hcl
osedourey
es.
..
Myphoner
ang

Me:
"st
handwasam"
Hi
m:"
usezandi
bul
ali
sauy
ayazl
ont
o"?
Me:
"unj
ani
bae'
bhi
"
Hi
m:"
ndi
grandmna,
I
'mj
ustwor
ri
edabouty
ou"
Me:
"ndi
shar
pman"
Hi
m:"
didy
ouguy
stal
kthi
ngst
hrough"
?
Me:
"yeah,
ever
ythi
ngi
sundercont
rol
ifImaysayso"
Hi
m:"
ntwana"
Me:
"huh"
Him:
"whenIneedalawyerorwhateveri
tist
hat
you'
rest
udyi
ngforI
'
lltel
lyou,
nowtalkinsi
mple
sent
encest
hatmakesense.Nithet
hil
enah"

:
v:vbutwhyuSosoendenzaso?
Me:
"eweSoso"
Hi
m:"
uphi
wenangoku"
Me:
"ndi
seSandt
on"
Hi
m:"
endl
i
niy
akhe"
Me:
"yeah"
Him:
"oohkay,hopef
ull
yiphel
i
lel
emadness
beni
yenza.Gosh"!
Me:
"butmnganeuy
andabuserwena"
Hi
m:"
mxm by
eby
ewet
hu,
undbul
i
sel
ekut
aBeast
"
Me:
"zbul
i
sel
e"

Iputt
hephoneonhi
searbancokol
a.Okobabe
ehl
eka,
knowi
ngSosongenzekakut
shi
swamnapha
:v
[
10/
10,
19:
18]‪+27730692704‬:
#260

LukeandSiv
ewerer
eal
lyget
tingmar r
iedsoItook
thehonor
sofor
gani
zi
ngabridalki
tchenpart
yf or
her,
Ibookedav enueSunI nt ernat
ionalandpaiditful
l
withmyownmoneyt henIaskedKer i,
Ev eandSive's
cousinSophumel el
atodonat etowardscateri
ngt hen
l
astlyIemailedalli
nvi
tesdi screet
lycozIwant edto
surpri
seher,
she'sbeent hroughal otespecial
l
y
regardi
nglentoyomnt anakhe.

SoNt andowasbacki nCapeTown, Si

noandOwe
werewi t
hmeendl i
nikaLukewi thEv eandBooboo
backthehousewasav erynoisyenv i
ronmentand
bekusezobamnandi cozi naf ewday sKeriwasal so
comingwi thherchi l
d,ohandwehadt oinviteLiztoo
-_
-she'sMar c'sgirl
fri
endkal oksoi fweexcl udedher
besi
zobar ongoandhur tourbrotherint hepr ocess.
Souhm, Iwasbusydoi ngthef ini
shingt oucheskul e
ntokaSi veithelpedthatEv ewasbacksot hisday
Keriarr
ivedwi t
hhernannysot het hreeofuswent
shoppingtoget herforgifts

Her
:"hehli
tt
lesi
ster
,youseeyou'
renotsoli
tt
le
any
mor e?Pret
tysoonyou'
llbesomeone'
swife"
Me:
"someone'
swi
fe?Idoubtt
hati
deast
il
lexi
sts"
Her
:"
youdon'
twannagetmar
ri
ed"
?
Me:
"Ido.
..Idon'
tthi
nkhe'
sready
"
Her:
"whatdoyoumean?You'
reevenbabysi
tt
inghi
s
chi
l
dreninst
eadofhavi
ngfunthi
shol
iday
"
Me:
"hedi
dn'
tfor
ceme.
..
Iof
fer
ed"
Eve:
"she'
smadinl
oveshedoesn'
tev
ensee
expl
oitat
ion"
Me:
"hedoesn'
texpl
oitmeEv
e,Ial
sohav
eav
oice
r
emember"
Ker
i:
"don'
tmi
ndEv
ebaby
"

Lolwet hankGody ouknow, forlentoy ooLukecoz

kewegotachancet ohavethatsisterl
ybondwe' v
e
l
ostev ersi nceourf ol
ksdied.Ker iboughtherasi l
ver
met all
i
cki tchenappl i
ancescomboconsi sti
ngofa
rubbishbi n,breadbin,
akettl
e,i
ron,egg-boilerand
toaster.Lol jongasav el
asaj
ongananoEv e
Eve:
"butKer
iwhybuyherev
ery
thi
ng?Whatar
ewe
supposedtobuy
"?
Keri
:"
Idon'tknow..
.y
oudoknowt
hatt
hisi
sacombo?
Ican'
ttakeone,r
ight"
Me:
"t
henj
ustbuyherabi
norsomet
hing"
Keri
:"
nope,
onedayyou'
l
lal
sowantsomet
hingas
thi
sbigonyourbi
gday"

Yeahwel
lwhat
ever
!

Eveboughtherbeddi
ngsetandapai
rofwhi
tel
ace
l
inger
ie

Me:
"l
inger
ieEv
e?Real
l
y"?
Ker
i:
"youknowEv
enowTeedon'
tactsur
pri
sed"
Eve:
"Iwantt
hei
rfi
rstni
ght.
..
asamarr
iedcoupl
e,
to
havesomesenseofholi
nessman"
:
v:v

Nowt hat'snotasurpri
secomi ngfrom her,Ilooked
around.Didn'
tknowwhatt obuyhersi ncewedon' t
evenknowwhatshewant scozwenev ertoldher
si
menzel alentothoughwei nvi
tedallherclose
fr
iends.Iboughtheraper f
umegi f
tbagfrom Gucci
anditcostmeaf ort
une:'
(andt henagi f
tbagf ul
lof
makeupf r
om Eli
zabethArdencozwhodoesn' tneed
makeup?: vIknowmygi f
tsaren'treal
l
yideal butI
knewzi zomncedaaphanaphay aandIwant edt obe
dif
ferent.

Afteral
lthatshoppi
ngweheadedt othespa^_^we
hadachi l
ledday,
didournai
lsandchangedourhai
rs
thenweheadedf orthefuel
stati
on,
mybabyneeded
tobef i
l
ledup.

Ev
e:"
Whatar
ewebuy
ingt
heki
ds"
Ker
i:
"Laur
encooks,
Idoubtwehav
etobuyt
hem
any
thi
ng"
Me:"
knowi
ngSino,
she'
ll
beex
pect
ingsomet
hing
whenwegetbackguys"
Ev
e:"
buy
ingt
hem abucketwon'
tcostust
oomuch"
Ker
i:
"okayt
henl
et'
sgot
oKFC"

Weheadedt oKFCandtheywenti n,IwenttoSpar

andbroughtacoupl
eofsweetthingsf ortheki
ds
andwaitedfort
hesetwol
adi
esi nt hecar.
..My
brot
hercall
ed:D

Me:
"l
ulu"
Hel
aughed,
Il
aughedt
oo:
)
Him:
"how'
sev
ery
thi
ngcomi
ngal
ong?Youguy
sneed
anyhel
p"?
Me:
"ever
ythi
ngi
ssor
tedmyl
ove,
whenar
ether
estof
f
ri
endscoming"
?
Hi
m:"
lat
ert
omor
row"
Me:
"okeydokey
,how'
syourbr
other
"?
Hi
m:"
he'
scool
.Li
zisal
socomi
ngov
ert
oy'
al
l
t
omorr
ow"
Me:
"oohgosh"
!
Hi
m:"
plsgi
rl
s,
playni
cewi
thher
.ForMar
c'ssake"
Me:
"yeahwhat
ever
"
Hi
m:"
okay
,enj
oyy
ourday
"
Me:"
tell
me,ar
etheygonnadoabachel
orspar
tyf
or
youtherei
nCT"?
Him:"
yeahit
sactual
l
yont
hesamedayast
he
bachel
oret
tes"
Me:
"mmh,
who'
sor
gani
zi
ngi
tfory
ou"
?
Hi
m:"
mybestmanobv
iousl
y"
Me:
"Mar
cusbet
ternoti
nvi
test
ri
pper
sther
e"
Hi
m:"
hahaha!I
'
m nott
ell
i
ngy
ouany
thi
ng"
Me:
"Luuno"

Hel
aughedandhungup.
..
:
vbutt henagai n,
Idon'tcarecozEvegotusst
ripper
s
too>_<.TheycameoutofKFCandweheaded
home...Myf eetwereki l
li
ngme.Assoonaswe
walkedin,
Ithrewmyshoesasi deandputmyfeetup
onthecoffeet able.
..

Owe:
"si
si,
uzenant
oni
etown"

Il
ookedatt
hegi
rl
s:vIknewt
hiswoul
dhappen.

Me:
"br
ingt
heot
her
s"
Hi
m:"
okay
"

Iwenttothekitchenandser vedthem intheirbowls

thechi
ckenandr oll
swithdri
nksont hei
rmi ni t
rays
bathat
habay ohlalaonthematel ounge.Isepar at
ed
thei
ryoghurtsandKi nderj
oytreat
sandl eftthem on
thecounter
,pouredmy selfaglassofredwi neand
wenttositdown
Evewall
edinandret
urnedtopourher
sel
faglassof
winet
oo..
.wasol
eesizanay
oway i
bekaapha
phambkwethu

Her
:"
Booboo,
giv
emamasome"
?
Hi
m:"
mamano"

:
v

Me:
"gi
veaunt
ysomenana"
Hi
m:"
justapi
eceaunt
y"?
Me:
"j
ustapi
eceboyboy
"
Eve:
"heee!What
'
sthi
snow.Di
scr
imi
nat
ionundi
l
uted
I
'mtell
ingya"

:
vIbi
tapi
eceandsi
ppedmywi
ne.
Si
no:
"mamadi
dIsayt
hanky
ou"
?
Me:
"act
ual
l
ybabynoneofy
ousai
dthanky
ou"

Lol
theyallst
oppedeat
ingandl
ookedatusj
ustas
Ker
iwalkedin.

Al
loft
hem:"Thanky
oumamaKer
i,
thanky
oumama
Ev
eandthankyoumamaTee"
Owe:
"butsi
siawngomamawena"

Hahaha!Ij
ustl
aughedathi
m

Si
no:
"ngumamam nj
e"
Me:
"umxel
elebaby
"

Lol
theyr
esumedt
othei
rfood.
Ev
e:"
guy
s..
.hasanyofy
ourmencal
l
edt
oday
"
Ker
i:
"nope,
guesswe'
resi
ngl
eladi
es"
Ev
e:"
notev
enourbr
other
s"?
Me:
"Luucal
l
edmeear
li
er"
Ev
e:"
phew,
that
'sbet
ter
..
.Iwasbegi
nni
ngt
owonder
"

Justt
henJoecal
l
edKer
i

Her
:"
speakoft
hedev
il
"
:
v
Shewal
kedoutt
othel
awnandsatont
hecamp
chai
rst
her
e.
Lwandocal
l
ed.
..
Evelookedatmeandl aughed:vshepickedhercal
l
andsmi l
ed..
.Akadi
ngiroom kesanauEve,shej
ust
putherfeetupwancokolanomnt uwakhe

Idi
aledSosobutNt
andocal
l
ed:
vli
kewhatt
hehel
l
i
sgoi
ngon?Ar
etheyi
nonepl
ace?May
be.

Me:
"babe"
?
Hi
m:"
Imi
ssmybabi
es"
Me:
"uzobuy
ani
nikant
i"
Hi
m: "
Idon'
tknow,kusekhonal
ewaykuLuke
si
yenzayoapha"
Me:
"soIhear
d"
Hi
m:"
awund'
khumbul
ikodwawenababe"
Me:
"whydoy
ousayt
hat
"
Hi
m:"whydon'ty
oucal
lme.
..
uli
ndamnandi
ku
f
ounelengokwam"
Me:
"I
'mt
ir
ed,
butIwasgonnacal
lyoul
ateront
oday
"
Hi
m:"
you'
ret
ir
ed?Whatwer
eyouguy
sdoi
ng"
?
Me:"
wewentforsomeret
ail
ther
apyandt
her
e'sno
onetomassagemyfeet
"
Hi
m:"
cel
auOweakwenzehe'
sgoodont
hat
"
Sinomusthaveguessedbandi
thet
hanayecozoko
endij
ongil
eandIknowhowmuchshemi ssed
hi
m. .
.she'
sadaddy'
sgir
l

Me:
"haybabei
sn'
tthatchi
l
dexpl
oit
ati
on"
Hi
m:"
oh-
hoo!Uf
undekakhul
uke"
Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oomnt
wam"
Hi
m:"
ingaskeubel
aphaphambkwam xaut
shoy
o"
Me:"
thumel
auMoazondi
l
anda.
..
I'
l
lbey
ouroneni
ght
st
and"
Hi
m:"
babydon'
tgi
vemei
deas"

Il
aughedathi
m..
.Nt
andouy
ayt
handaIat
tent
ionst
ru!

Me:
"awf
unut
het
hanoSi
no"
?
Hi
m:"mni
ke"

Igav
ehert
hephone:
)thesmi
l
eonherf
ace.
..
Her
:"
hel
l
o,daddy
"
Hi
m:"
pri
ncess,
howar
eyou"
Her
:"
I'
mfi
net
hanky
ou.Ubuy
ani
nidaddy
"
Him:
"befor
eChr
ist
mas,
uthenuf
unandi
buy
e?Uf
una
uhl
alanam"?
Her
:"ha.
aIjustwannagoshoppi
ngwi
thy
ou
ndi
phindendibuy
endihl
alenomama"
Him:"
well
..
.Icansendyoumoneysoyoucango
shoppi
ngwi t
hy ourmom andy
ourbr
other
"
Her
:"
butawundi
vawenadaddy
"
Hi
m:"
okaybabygi
rlndi
zobuy
awe'
l
lgoshoppi
ng
t
oget
her"
Her
:"
yousee?UOwewant
stospeakt
oyou"
Hi
m:"
okay
"

Shepassedthephonetoherbr
otherandwentt
oput
herpl
ateint
hekitchen.
[
10/
10,
19:
20]‪+27730692704‬:
#261

Owe:
"banl
onaSi
no?Hel
l
o"?
Hi
m:"
ndi
ngul
onangoku"
?
Owe:
"yhoxol
otat
aIdi
dn'
tknow"
Hi
m:"
howar
eyou"
Owe:
"I
'm okaywenaunj
ani
"
Hi
m:"
I'
m good.Sohow'
sJo'
bur
g"
Owe:"kumnandi
butkal
okt
atayouknowwehav
en'
t
boughtenoughChr
ist
masclot
hesneh"
Hi
m:"
hai
bokwedi
niay
ikhoenoughl
eni
nay
o"
Owe:
"butdaddyno,r
emembery oupromisedmela
t
akki
ekaAdi dasnesasneakerskaJor
dankalok"
Hi
m:"
yhof
ondi
n"
Owe:
"t
ata,
ndi
zokut
humel
angoSi
noke"

Il
aughed:vI
'
m sureNt
andol
aughedont
heot
her
si
deofthephone
Hi
m:"
okayboyI
'
llbebackt
henwe'
l
ldot
heshoppi
ng
t
oget
her"
Owe:
"enkosi
tat
a..
.ndi
zoni
kausi
sii
phoneke"
Hi
m:"
sur
endoda"
.
.
Me:
"babe"
Hi
m:"
Ireal
l
ymi
ssy
ou,
youknow"
Me:"
IsaidsendMoazondi
that
haI
'
llbey
ourone
ni
ghtstand"
Hi
m:"
I'
m afr
aidIwon'
twanty
out
ogobackoncey
ou
ar
ehere"
Me:"
hahaIknowt
hef
eel
i
ng,
butI
'
llseey
ousoon.
Ri
ght"
?
Hi
m:"
yeah.
..
mybabi
eswantt
omi
l
kmymoneydr
y"
Me:
"i
tsnotr
eal
l
yyour
s,y
eyabo"
Hi
m:"
yeahwhat
ever
"
Me:
"ubuy
eny
hani
kecozIneedsomecuddl
i
ngt
oo"
Hi
m:"
haha!Somemot
ivat
ionIsee"

Hahaha!Mxm!

Me:
"what
ever
!By
eby
e"
Hi
m:"
Ilov
eyouneh"
Me:
"Il
ovey
out
oomyl
ove"

Wehungup.
Yhotheni
qqacanbesil
l
yatti
mes: vmakesmef al
l
i
nlovewit
hhim ev
enmorecozhe'sasofti
eendl
iniI
won'
tmentiont
heBeast
,hahaandi
ngenindawo
kul
eyoIpar
t.

Whoah!
Thefol
lowi
ngdaymyelderbr
othercal
l
edmeand
sai
dhisgir
lf
ri
endi
scomingoversoheneeds
me..
.Lol
,
me,t
ogof etchherattheai
rpor
t.SoIjust
t
oldhimtot
ellherandi
founel
ewhenshear r
ives.

Wewentt oseethevenue,meandmysi stersandI

wasdrivi
ngsowhenIr ecei
vedLiz'scallmyphone
wasinter
connectedwit
hthecary avelayatsho
"
Lizar
dcalli
ng"hahahayhosavelasapheeeel a
yi
ntsi
nisonkethenIhushthem andt ookthecall

Me:
"hel
l
o"?
Her
:"
heyI
'
m att
heai
rpor
t"
Me:
"okay
,j
ustgi
mmeaf
ewmi
nut
es"
Her
:"
okayt
hanky
ou"

Thenshehungup

Keri
:
"youactual
lysav
edhernumberasLi
zar
d?But
youguysarecruelman"
Ev
e:"
met
oo.
..
see"

Lol
wav
elawahl
ekawal
i
lauKer
i:v

Me:
"cal
lRazor
"

Thecarr
espondedandcal
l
edhi m,
whi
l
ethephone
wasri
ngi
ngLol Ev
ewasinsti
tches

Her
:"
who'
sRazornow"
?
Me:
"oneofmydr
iver
s"
-
Hi
m:"
hel
l
o"
Me:
"hey
,Ineedaf
avor
"
Hi
m:"
shoot
"
Me:
"cany
oupl
sgopi
ckupLi
zzyatt
heai
rpor
t"
Hi
m:"
Mar
c'sbabymomma"
?
Me:
"yep"
Hi
m:"
okay
,sowher
eisshegoi
ng"
?
Me:
"you'
l
ljustt
akehert
othehouse,
we'
l
lmeether
t
her
e"
Hi
m:"
shosi
ster
i"
Me:
"enkosi
"

Wehungupandt henIdrovetoseeacoupleof
Sive'
sfri
endswhower einPret
ori
ajustt
oinfor
m
them ofever
ythi
ngandmakesur ethatwe'
reall
in
thesamepage.Af t
erthatweheadedhome...

SafikauLizehl
eliwit
ht woladi
esi
nthelounge,
Ij
ust
greeted,
huggedthem thenndamshi
yawithher
i
nlaws>_ <ndayovasaIneededarefr
eshermybody
wassweat yandsmel l
ysoIshoweredandwentt o
si
tonmybedj ustthi
nking.
..

Kuhl
ecal
l
edme:
Me:
"Kay
"
Hi
m:"
hey
,ushar
p"
Me:
"I
'm cool
you"
Him:"
I'
m good.I'
m comingtoJo'bur
gtoni
ghton
busi
nessandIdon'twannasl eepi
nsomehotelman
ndcel
aundincedemt chana"
Me:
"okayuhm.
..Butwhyungacel
iuVi
nce"
?
Hi
m:"
yhuha.
auhl
alanoLi
bhongol
owo"

Ihadtolaughat"
yhu"onl
ysomet
hingIwoul
dhav
e
thoughtonl
ySosowouldsay
!

Me:
"okayi
zaI
'
llhooky
ouup"
Hi
m:"
enkosi
sisi
"
Me:
"eshe"

Wat
shoehl
eka.Lol
soIhadt
ocal
lNt
andocozI
knowtheconsequencesofdoi
ngt
hingsbehi
ndhi
s
back.

Hi
m:"
Mrs"
?
Me:
"baba,
ngxaki
ikhona.Unj
ani
phof
"
Hi
m:"
I'
m ahappyman,
wena"
?
Me:
"I
'm pr
ett
y,butof
cozy
ouknowt
hat
"
Hi
m:"pr
etty
?Yhoheeeungandoy
iki
simna.Ubusi
thi
i
ngxaki
ikhonaphi
"?
Me:
"ohyahuKuhleneedsi
ndawoy
olal
ahe'
scomi
ng
t
oJozionbusi
ness"
Hi
m:"
whydoesn'
thesl
eepatahot
el?OraskVi
nce"
?
Me:"y
hoakafuniuyol
alakuVince,
sai
dsomething
aboutyoursi
steri
n-l
awbutihotel
khangeay
ifuneat
al
l"
Him:"
yingxaki
loLi
bhongo.Any
way
,ubuci
ngaut
hini
kengokwena"
Me:
"wel
lIhav
emykeyf
ort
heapar
tment"
Hi
m:"
ha.
ababe.I
zomoshal
ant
wanapha"
Me:"
ohNtandobo!I
'
llf
ixhi
mlar
oom i
nci
nci
yhi
ni
nt
ombi"

Wakhewat
hicwaka.
Bendimi
nci
l
ekant
icozIknowhi
m andhi
spr
ivat
e
space.

Hi
m:"butwhydi
dyoucal
lmei
fwhatIsaydoesn'
t
matt
er"?
Me:"
soyou'
dhav
eprefer
reduyivasel
aphaor
semnki
l
ebaebezol
alaeJo'bur
gandIhelpedhi
m"?
Him:"
youhel
pingthem behi
ndmybackwoul
dn'
t
havebeenanythi
ngnewkekum cozyoual
waysdo
that
"

Ouch.
..
Me:"andsonowt hatI
'm changingthet
uneyou'
re
nothappy?Okayy ouknowwhatkebabe?I t
sfine,
I
'l
l
preparehi
m aroom aphaendlini"
Hi
m:"
akhangendi
tshokodwaSi
bongi
l
e"
Me:
"noti
nsomanywor
ds,
buti
tswhaty
oui
mpl
i
ed"

Wat
hul
a.
Ihungupandgotdr essed, t
hekitchenpar tywas
gonnabetomor rowsot hatmeantal ltherooms
ekhayawereoccupiedespeci al
l
ywi thLiz'sarr
ival
nomntanawakheandt hesetwol adies,t
herewasno
spaceandwedon' ttouchLuke'sr oom,it
soutof
boundar
ies.Ipackedmy sel
fabagIhadt osleepat
theapar
tmentifbazobanendawoy olal
aababant u
andEve'
sr oom coul
dal sobeneededmt chanabutI
neededtoapproachherasi de.
WhenIwasdoneIwentdownst
air
sndaf
ikauLaur
en
ephekaIaskedt
ohel
pherwahl
ekaandchasedme
away
Iwentt
othel
oungef
ikauEv
eengekho
Me:
"uhm.
..
hasany
oneseenEv
ely
n"?
Ker
i:
"she'
sout
side"

It
urnedt
owal
kout
..
.

Li
z:
"uhm Tee"
?
Me:
"huh"
?
Liz:
"Iwashopi
ngyoucoul
dpr
epar
etwor
oomsf
or
theseladi
esIcamewit
h"

Fir
stofall
sheneversai
dshe'
scomi
ngwithanyone.
..
Hell
o????-_
-Keri
lookedatmeandl
ookedbackat
theTV

Me:
"sur
e"
Li
z:
"see?It
oldy
'al
lshewon'
tbef
ussy
"
Igr
innedandwal
kedout
.
IwenttoEv
eatthebackandsatdownnextt
o
her
,shewasupset
.

Me:
"youokay
''
?
Her
:"Li
zhasn'
tev
enfi
nishedanhourhereandshe'
s
t
ell
i
ngmeshi t
?Eksalhaardonnereksêvi
rjou"
Me:
"what
'sshedonenow"
?
Her
:"sypr
aatkaaksoosalt
ydman!Idon'
tknowwhat
Marcusseesi
nt hatt
ramp"

Ikeptqui
et
Ididn'
twannageti
nvol
ved.I
'
vehadmyf
airshar
eof
Eli
zabethdr
ama.

Me:
"l
et'
sgosl
eepatt
heapar
tmentt
oni
ght
"
Her
:"
whataboutmychi
l
d"
Me:
"Laur
enandKer
iwi
l
llookaf
terhi
m"
Her
:"
hayl
et'
sgo.I
'
vehadi
t"
Me:"we'
llgolatekal
ok,
let
'sj
ustgoinsi
deandhav
ea
decentconversat
ionwi
ththeotherl
adi
es"
Her
:"
I'
m notgoi
ngany
wher
eneart
hatbi
tch"
!

Iki
ssedhercheekandwentbacki
nsi
de.Iwentt
o
checkonsupper

Laur
en:
"I
'l
lser
vei
ntenmi
nut
es"
Me:
"t
hankssi
si"

Shesmi
l
ed.
Iwenttositi
nthel
ounge,pl
uggedmychar gerand
char
gedmyphone.Theywer etal
ki
ngandlaughingI
wasstressi
ngandget
tingangrybutItr
iedsohar dt
o
bemy sel
fandcomposeal l
thesefeel
i
ngs.

Ker
i:
"canwet
alkasi
deTr
ina"
Me:
"sur
e"

Il
ockedmyphoneandl
efti
tther
easIf
oll
owedher
.
[
10/
10,
19:
21]‪+27730692704‬:
#262

Wereachedherr
oom andcl
osedt
hedoorsahl
alaon
t
hebed

Her
:"
didMar
cussayshe'
scomi
ngwi
thf
ri
ends"
?
Me:
"no"
Her:
"howt hehel
larewegonnasleep?AndIcan'
t
sayshe'
llsharearoom wi
thEve,
theygotof
fona
wrongfoot"
Me:
"I
'l
ltakeEv
ewi
thmet
oNt
ando'
shouse"
Her
:"
yout
rustl
eav
inganyoft
hem i
nyourr
oom"
?

Il
aughedcozIal
sot
houghtoft
hatbutdeci
dedt
o
br
ushitasi
de.
Me:"nobutIdon'
thaveachoi
ceri
ght
?AndIwon'
t
sl
eepuncomf ort
abl
ebecauseEl
i
zabet
hfai
l
edtobe
consider
ate"
Her
:"
hey
"!

Wewal keddownandLaur enwasalr

eadyser
ving
supper
...
weat esupper,
IaskedKerit
ohelpme
sabal
ungiselel
athei
rroomsandImadesur eIlock
upeverythi
ngIconsidervaluabl
eandsacr
edtome.I
don'
twannaf i
ght
.

WhenIwasdoneIwentdownst
air
s,bumpedonto
Eveandshesai
dshe'
l
lgopacki
ngsojustwentt
o
thel
ounge.
..

Me:
"t
wor oomsar
eready,
onewil
lber
eadyi
naf
ew
mi
nutes.Li
zcome,
andonelady
"
Her
:"
okay
..
.who'
scomi
ngf
ir
st"
?
Waphakamaoy 'oneandtheyfol
lowedmeupst ai
rs,
I
tookLiztoherr
oom thatwaspreparedalr
eadyfor
herthenItookChantythi
sfri
endofherstomyr oom
andwhenEv esaidshewasdoneIaskedhert ocall
Michell
eupasIf i
xedtheroom t
henwel ef
tthem
andwentdownst ai
rs

Ical
l
edKer
i

Me:
"pl
easel
ookaf
terBooboowhi
l
ewe'
regoneneh"
Her
:"
nowor
ri
esbaby
"
Ev
e:"
thanksbi
gsi
s"

Wehuggedherandleft
,thedr
ivewassil
entthough
:/Iguessshewassti
l
lupsetaboutwhatsoever
happenedbet
weenherandLiz"Kaycal
li
ng"LolI
answered
Me:
"Kay
"
Hi
m:"
heysendfi
ki
lekeandIrecei
vedacal
lfr
om u
br
outhi
mandibolekei
sti
xokuwe"
Me:
"i
zaaphaendl
i
niI
'
m al
readyher
e"
Hi
m:"
phi
"?
Me:
"kwaNt
ando"
Hi
m:"
ohokaysur
e"
Me:
"shar
p"

Wehungup, Idroveinandpar kedthenwewal kedin

noEveIwentt opreparel
ar oom incinci
forKuhle
cozIwasgonnashar ewi
thEv ekwimain
bedr
oom. .
.notthatIl
ikei
t,butthesit
uati
onper mi
tted
andkindaforcedusintothis.

Me:
"Kuhl
eiscomi
ngher
e"
Her
:"
I'
m hungr
ythough"
Me:
"wel
lyoucancooki
fyouwantt
o"
Her
:"
aren'
tther
enoodl
esher
e"?

Ndamhleka:vshel
eftf
oodendl
i
ninowuf
unaut
ya
i
inoodl
es?Icall
edVi
ncent

Hi
m:"
heyTee"
Me:
"heyVee,
arey
ouwor
kingt
oni
ght
"?
Hi
m:"
yeahwhat
'sup"
?
Me:
"Ineedadel
i
ver
yman"
Him:"
goodthi
ngyouspokenow,
Icandr
opi
tof
f
xandi
ziseuKuhl
e"
Me:
"ohhe'
swi
thy
ou"
?
Hi
m:"
yeahhej
ustcamet
osayhi
"
Me:"
thankGod!Pl
smakei
tli
kel
astt
ime,
andsome
br
eadpls"
Hi
m:"
nopr
obl
em"
Me:
"enkosi
"
Ihungup.
..

Me:
"Vi
nceisgonnabr
ingusmeatsoy
oucanj
ust
t
akeabathandgetwarm"
[
10/
10,
19:
21]‪+27730692704‬:
#263

Sheranupstairsforherbath,Ialsowenttochange
i
ntoPJsandwai t
edf orKuhle,wafikauVincenokay
andwej ustchatupforawhi l
e.Kaysaidhe'snot
hungryhejustwantedt orestthenItookhimt ohi
s
room ndabuyandatyanoEv ethenwet ur
nedof ft
he
l
ight
sandwentt obed.

Iclosedmyeyesi
mmedi atel
ycozEvewastalki
ngon
thephonewit
hherboyfr
iend.JustasIt
houghtIwas
resti
ng,
andmaybefal
l
ingasleep..
.Myphonerang
It
ookadeepbr eat
h..
.Ididn'
twannaf i
ghtwi
th
Ntandoshame.MaybeIdi dwrong,ormaybesaid
wrongbutinmyowney esIwast r
yingtol
ookoutfor
hi
sf ami
lycozsomeday ,maybeifGodpermit
s,some
daywecouldal
lbef
ami
l
yandf
ami
l
yst
icks
toget
her
..
.

Me:
"babe"
Hi
m:"
yousoundl
i
key
ou'
resl
eepi
ng"
Me:
"yeah"
Hi
m:"
canwet
alk"
?
Me:
"can'
twet
alkksasa?I
'
vehadal
ongdaybabeI
r
eal
l
yneedtorest
"
Hi
m: "
please..
.I
'
m sor
ryboutwhatIsai
dear
li
er,
or
r
atherhowi tcameout"
Me:"t
here'
snoneedt
oapol
ogi
zey
ouwer
ejustbei
ng
honest"
Hi
m:"
babymahn"
Me:"babyy azwhatIdoforyourbrother
sndi y
enza
kubandicingaatsomel ev
el we'
refamil
y,orwecould
besoxabesoy i
kawenaatleastmnamandi be
approachable.ButkeI'
mreallysor
ryfordoingthose
thi
ngsbehi ndyourback"
Hi
m:"
canIspeaknow"
?
Me:
"goahead"
Him:"Iappr
eciatewhaty
oudo,you'
rey
ourown
personIcan'trunawayfr
om t
hat"
Me:
"butIhat
efi
ght
ingwi
thy
ou"
Hi
m:"
ever
yrel
ati
onshi
phasi
tsupsanddowns"
Me:
"Iguessy
ou'
rer
ight
"
Hi
m:"
kissmybabi
esgoodni
ghtf
ormepl
s"
Me:
"I
'l
lonl
yseeem t
omor
rowmor
ning"
Hi
m:"
hau,
uphi
kant
i"
:
v
Me:
"ndi
taki
l
e"
Hi
m:"
hayungandi
phambanel
iS'
bongi
l
e"
Me:
"haykodwaI
'
mjustbei
nghonesther
e"

Cwakaf
oramoment
..
.
Me:
"canIhangupnow?I
'
mreal
l
yti
red"
Hi
m:"
uphi
"?
Lol
ohf
vq.
..
akudl
alwakenoNt
andokanene!
Me:
"I
'm aty
ourcr
ib"
Hi
m:"atmycr i
b?Why
?It
houghtKuhl
ewi
l
lsl
eep
t
herenjena"
Me:
"ndi
zomgadaangamoshi
kal
ok"
Hi
m:"
babywej
ustspokeaboutt
hist
hough"
Me:"
chi
l
lndiyadl
ala.I
'm her
ewithEvekalokLizar
d
camewithhertwof r
iendssoakhondawoy ol
ala
si
ncewealsohaveKer i'
shel
pernabantwana"
Him:"
yhobekhendabuzakekuMarcusbadidhetel
l
y'
all
she'
scomingwithpeopl
ewaskewathihe'
l
lsort
i
tout"
Me:
"mh,
Iwonder
"
Hi
m:"
ungal
winoLi
zzykebabeapho"
Me:
"andi
mdal
anj
eforal
l
'ot
hat
"
Hi
m:"
mmmhul
alekak'
hl
ekeneh"
Me:
"t
hanks.Yout
oo"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
wakey
ouup"
Me:
"l
ovey
oubaby
"
Hi
m:"
lov
eyout
oo"

Wehungup.
Evewasstil
ll
aughingonherphonendal
alamnay ho
Iwasnoteventi
redIwasj ustf
edupyi
lentoyenzwa
nguLizqhaandfunut
hethaneh?Cozndizoba
ngul
omntuurongo.
.
..

Thef
oll
owi
ngmor
ningNt
andor
eal
l
ywokemeup-
_-

Me:
"mmh"
Hi
m:"
vul
a"

Icl
osedmyey
esandy
awned.
..
yho
Hi
m:"
S'bongi
l
e"
Me:
"Nt
ando!Yhont
onmanek'
seni
kangaka"
?
Hi
m:"
vul
a"
Me:
"ndi
vuki
l
efondi
n"
Hi
m:"
Icanheart
hat
,nowv
ula"

Isatupandwipedmyeyes.
..
whatt
hehel
li
she
doingi
nJo'bur
g?Eshe!

Me:
"ndi
vul
e?Uphi
kant
i"
?
Hi
m:"
I'
m att
hedoor
"

Idi
dn'tbel
ievehi
m, Iworemysl i
ppersandwal ked
downt hestai
rskhacingeandi
nxibanganegownI '
m
j
ustinmyPJshor t
snev estqha.Iopenedthedoor
andtherehewas: owi t
hasmugsmi l
e..
.Ihungup
andlookedathimt henshookmyheadandwal ked
tot
hekitchen.Ir
insedmymout handtur
nedtowal
k
out
,heheldmywai standki
ssedmycheek..
.she
wantedtokissmyl i
psIduckedaway

Hi
m:"
sur
pri
se"
Me:
"mxm.Di
dyouseet
het
ime"
?

Heletgoofmywai standtouchedmyf ace,then

ki
ssedme.Ifellr
ighti
ntohiswebandki ssedhim
backattheendofthedayImi ssedhi
m, heli
f t
edme
offt
hegroundandputmeont hecounterandwe
conti
nuedki
ssingthenIpushedhim aLil,
Iwantedt
o
haveaproperl
ookathim

Hi
m:"
ntonngoku"
?
Me:
"don'
tgetmewr
ongnehbabe"
Hi
m:"
but
"?
Me:"
areyouokay
?Whatbri
ngsy
out
oJo'
bur
gthi
s
ear
ly?I
severy
thi
ngokay
"?
Hedi
dn'
tansweri
mmedi
atel
y.
It
ouchedhi
sst
rongf
eat
ures.
..Iwasr
eal
l
ywor
ri
ed
man.

Him:"
Ijustcamet
ochecksomet
hingout
,busi
ness
babe"
Me:
"you'
renott
ell
i
ngmet
het
rut
hmnt
wam kodwa"
Hi
m:"
canwemakebr
eakf
ast"
Me:
"baby
"
Hi
m:"
mh"
Me:
"pl
ease,
honest
y?Remember"
?

Hekissedmypur sedlipsandhuggedme.Now
Ntandoonl yhugswhenIwantahug, he'
snotav er
y
cuddlyperson.Thi swasdef i
nit
elyof
f!
!Ihuggedhim
veryt
ight.
..verytightandthenIheardhi
mr el
easea
hugeloadofbr eath.Ir
ubbedhisbackwhilewaiti
ng
forhi
mt ot alk
Me:
"baby
"

Cwaka.

Me:"
Ntandoy
ou'
rer
eal
l
yget
ti
ngmewor
ri
edwhat
's
goi
ngon"?

Hel
ookedatme,
andwentt
ogetagl
assofwat
er.

Him:
"theytr
ackedmom'shousedown,
vandal
i
zedi
t
andeveryt
hingel
sei
ntheyard,
ki
ll
edmydogs,
i
njur
edmymenandbur ntthehousedown"
Me:
"who?Whoahwai
t.
..
uphiumamakhoy ena?
Wher
ewasshewhenallt
hishappened"
?

Hesatdownandlookedathi
sfi
nger
s,hi
shands
wer
eshakingt
err
ibl
y.
Him:"shecall
edmey est
erdayaft
erIspoket
o
you,
say i
ngsomethi
ngdoesn'tf
eelri
ghtsoIt
ri
ed
convinci
ngherev
erythi
ngisokay"
Me:
"and"
?
Him:"t
henshesaidshe'
sgoi
ngtohersi ster
'shouse
uzolal
akhonasoItoldt
hedri
verstotakehert her
e.
Theytoldmeshepackedafull
trunkwhi chseemed
veryheavy
,Idi
dn'
ttakemuchi
ntoit"
Me:
"whocal
l
edy
ouwhen"
?
Him:"oneoftheguys,hesaidhehadwentouton
routi
netocheckoutmyaunt shousef orsaf
ety
reasons,
thenhewentt ofi
l
lupt hecarandgraba
bit
ef ort
herestoftheteam,whenhecamebackt he
otherswerescatt
eredonthefloorandthehouse
wasonf ir
e"
Me:
"yho.Doy
ouknowwhodi
dthi
s"
Hi
m:"
ther
e'sonl
yonewayt
ofi
ndout
"
Me:
"oooh.That
'swhyy
ou'
reher
e"
Hi
m:"
yep"
Me:
"butbabewhydon-
"
Him:"
I'
ll
makesureIgetal
lmyanswer
stodaycoz
Lukehasabachel
orstoni
ght
"

Ij
ustkeptquietandmadebr eakfast
...WhenIwas
doneIdishedupf orusinonepl ateandwef oll
owed
eachothertothelounge.Whenwehi tt
hecouchwe
putthetr
ayont hecoffeetableandt henItookhis
handsandhel ookedatmeconf used

Me:
"Idon'
twanty
out
ogethur
t"
Hi
m:"
rel
axbaby
"
Me:
"Iwi
shIcoul
d..
."

Hesmi ledandki
ssedme, weki
ssedIev enhadto
pushhim onthecouchandweki ssed.Hishands
touchi
ngandpinchingevery
whereandmaki ng
sensati
onsgrowstrongerandi
magi nat
ioneven
wilder
Her
:"
Eeewman,
getar
oom"
!

Ij
umpedup,
hepul
l
edmedownandwej
ustsmi
l
ed
atEv
e

Me:
"br
eakf
asti
sint
heov
en"

Shesmirkedandwentt
othekit
chen,
wegi
ggl
edand
cont
inuedwherewelef
tof
f.
..

Hi
m:"
OhGodnow!Soear
lyi
nthemor
ning"

Il
ookedupandsawKuhl
e:v

Bae:
"Fokofkwedi
ni"
Me:
"br
eakf
asti
sint
heov
en"
Lolndasukaandweat
e,t
heot
hert
wocamet
ojoi
n
ussancokolanj
ee.

Bae:"
SoEv
e,Iheary
ouandLi
zar
eateachot
her
s
necks"
Shel
ookedatme

Me:
"Idi
dn'
tsayany
thi
ng"
Hi
m:"
noIhear
dfr
om Lul
u"
Her
:"I
'
m st
art
ingt
ohav
ethi
sst
ronghat
redt
owar
ds
her
"
Me:
"hat
redi
sast
rongwor
d"
Her
:"
I'
m bei
nghonest
"
Hi
m:"
mmh.
..Kuhl
e,
whatbusi
nessdoy
ouhav
eher
e"
Kay:
"j
ustabusinesspossi
bil
i
ty.I
'
m meet
ingthe
gent
satten.Can'tsaymuchngokubutI
'
llt
elly
ou
whenthi
ngsaref i
nali
zed"
Hi
m:"mmh,don'
tgeti
nvol
vedi
nbackdoorbusi
ness
pl
s.Ihav
eenoughdramaonmyhands"
Kay
:"It
hinkI
'
mresponsi
blebhut
i"
Hi
m:"
Iwon'
tanswert
hat
"

Lol
andIwasn'
tget
ti
ngi
nvol
ved

Hi
m:"
sobabe,
whatdoesy
ourdayl
ookl
i
ke"
?
Me:
"ver
ybusy,af
terthi
smnanoEveSi
yakwihot
elto
makesureevery
thingi
ssett
henwe'
l
lgofet
chthe
l
adi
esandlastSive"
Hi
m:"
yho,
buty
ourcarwon'
tmakei
t"
Me:
"noIaskedmydr
iver
stohel
pmekal
ok"
Hi
m:"
mmh,
wil
lIseey
oubef
oreIgo"
?
Me:
"I
'l
lmakei
tpossi
bledon'
twor
ry"
Hi
m:"
sur
e"

Weki
ssedt
henEv
ecol
l
ect
edt
hepl
atesandwashed
t
hem whi
l
eIbat
hed.
[
10/
10,
19:
22]‪+27730692704‬:
#264

Iuhm, tookabat handcameout ,

hewassitt
ingon
thebedasIcameout ,dri
edmy sel
fupandlot i
oned
thenIchoseaf l
owingmaxi dresssi
nceIwasj ust
runningerrandsnowandt henkeptthei
temsf orthe
kit
chenpar typackedinmyext rabaginmyboot .I
mat chedthemaxi dresswi t
hsandalsandmi ni
mum
naturalmake-upthent ookmybag

Me:
"soi
thi
nii
ntoy
akho"
Hi
m:"
I'
mjustwai
ti
ngf
ory
ou"
Me:
"andt
henuzot
hini
kal
ok"
Him:
"andt
henI'
l
lgoseemypeopleandmay
bel
ater
comeandwaitf
oryouandi
yaz"
Me:"t
omakethi
ngseasyj
ustcallmewhenyou'
re
done,
cozImi
ghtbehomelateifsi
buy
il
eatall
"
Hi
m:"
mmkay
"
Me:"
masehl
ekeandgi
veEv
esomespacet
obat
h
nay
e"

Hef
oll
owedmedownst
air
s.
Evehitmewithatowelonmyfaceassher anup:vI
l
aughedandpouredNtandoaglassofj
uiceasItook
bott
ledwat
er.Andsatnextt
ohim

Me:
"awzodl
ulaendl
i
ni"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tthi
nki
t'
l
lbeagr
eati
dea"
Me:
"buty
ourki
dsmi
ssy
ou"
Him:"
Sinoal
waysknowswhenI
'
m notokay
,andi
funi
bandi
bonendinj
enababe"

Ikeptqui
et.
..

Kuhl
ecamedownl
ooki
ngdapper:
)
Me:
"mmmh!Ni
qqay
oul
ookhot
"!

Hel
aughedanddi
dat
urnar
ound

Me:
"Ihopey
ourgi
rlknowswhatshe'
sgoti
nya"
Hi
m:"sheknows.
..
haha!Teehayman,
khay
eke
mfet
hu"
Me:
"haha!Jongaubhutwakhouj
ell
y"

Webot
hlookedatNtandoandl
aughed,
hej
ust
smi
l
edandshookhishead..
.

Kay
:"Ineedt
orunneh,
IguessI
'
llseey
oul
ateron"
?
Me:"erh.
..
aboutt
hat,I
'
llprobabl
ysti
l
lbeatt
he
ki
tchenpar t
ysoit
seitherIleav
eyouwit
hthekeyor
you'
llcal
lyourbr
other"
Kay
:"br
auzobal
aphat
il
lwhen"
?
Hi
m:"
babemni
key
ourkey
,I
'l
lbebusyi
n-bet
ween
Pr
etor
iaadSowet
otoday
"
Me:
"sur
e"

Igavehim mykey sandacarhootedout

side
wabalekakewahamba, Evecamedownal ldressed
upndamj onga.
..Iknewi
mmediatelyt
hattoday,she'
s
gonnabef ul
lofdrama!

Bae:
"you'
redr
essedf
ort
hepar
tyal
ready
"?
Her
:"
yeap"

Babyeyedme,
Ij
ustsmi
l
edandt
ookmybagt
hen
ki
ssedhisl
i
ps

Me:
"Lov
eyou"
Hi
m:"
khawphi
nde"
Lol
Iki
ssedhi
m agai
n
Me:
"pl
aysaf
ebabymahn"
Hi
m:"
sur
ethi
ng"

Wel
efthi
m andheadedt
oourdest
inat
ion.
Yho..
.Ast imewentby ,
thi
ngsst ar
tedaddingupand
thenthef r
iendscamei n.
..
ohSouthernSunst af
f
though!Theymadei tlooksoper f
ect.Ourthemehad
changedf rom theorigi
nalideatowhi t
edresses,
sil
versti
lettosandy ell
owAf ri
candoekstoaddt hat
Afri
canfeel sinceshe'saXhosachi ck.

Whenever
yonewasi nt
here,
Itookadrivet
oSi
ve'
s
f
latwi
thadressIhandpi
ckedf orher
..
.

Her:
"hey
,youl
ookbeaut
if
ul.NowIf
eel
li
keIneedt
o
change"
Me:
"f
eel
free.
..
buti
fonl
yyou'
l
lchangei
ntot
his"

Ipr
esent
edherngal
alokhwe.Shet
ooki
tand
changed,sheactuall
ythoughtweweregoingoutas
gir
ljustfordr
inks.Shehadnoi deawhatwasahead
ofher..
.aft
ershechangedshewor egoldenspar
kli
ng
sti
ll
s.

Her
:"
howdoIl
ook"
?
Me:
"youl
ookgr
eatsi
si.
..
youdon'
twantadoekl
i
ke
mi
ne"?
Her
:"
youdon'
tmi
ndusmat
chi
ng"
?
Me:
"act
ual
l
yno,
her
e.Ihav
eanext
raone"

Shesmi ledandsatinf r
ontoft hemirrorasIhelped
herdot hedoekthenweheadedout .Thiswasher
moment .Wemadesomeconv er
sati
onaswe
enteredSouthernSunhot el
,ArcadiainPretori
athen
walkedt othei
rconferenceroom whi chwasf il
l
edby
everywomani nSive'slif
eincl
udinghermot herand
aunts.Wemanagedt ogetev eryonet her
e..
.Without
herknowi ng
Her
:"
what'
sar
ewedoi
ngi
naconf
erencer
oom
t
hough"
Me:
"you'
l
lsee"

Iopenedthedoorandsteppedasi
deforhertowal
k
i
nadt henever
yoneshouted:SURPRI
SE!!
!!
!!
Shewasshocked!Sur
pri
sed!Il
aughedasIledhert
o
herchai
r.
..Andt
henkwaqalwaizi
ntozi
khona.
Itwasav erybeauti
fulev
eningshame.Ev eryonewas
ontheirgoodbehaviorevenEv eandLizzywer e
subtl
earoundeachot her.Thenpastteni nthenight
aswewer ehavingf
unwi thmalestri
ppers#hidesI
gotacallfrom bae.
..SoIrushedtothebat hr
oom for
pri
vacy

Me:
"hel
l
o"
Hi
m:"
awbuy
inah"
Me:
"yhokungonakuqal
aubumnadi
babe"
Hi
m:"
kengokdoest
hatmeanI
'
lll
eav
ewi
thoutseei
ng
y
ou"

Isi
ghed.
..
Oh-
kay!MaybeIcanst
eal
afewmi
nut
esawayf
rom
t
heladi
esformymanneh?

Me:
"ar
eyoudr
ivi
ngy
our
sel
ftot
heai
rpor
t"?
Hi
m:"
ndi
l
aphaendl
i
nif
ondi
n"
Me:
"oh.
..
okayndi
yeza"
Hi
m:"
thanky
ou"

Thenhehungup!Idr ov
et ohisapartment.
..
kodwau
Ntandoismadkwel inyeical
a:vl i
ke,he'
l
lbeinCT
enjoy
ingthebachelorspartywithoutanyfor
m of
uphazanyi
swandi m kodwahe' sdist
urbi
ngmyf un
withthegir
ls!Idr
ovemywhi t
ebeastt oSandton
ndafi
kaephol ekuheaduNt andoont hecouch
Me:"
hey
,It
houghty
ou'
dbeony
ourwayt
otheai
rpor
t
bynow"
Him:"
Iam...Coul
dn'
tgowi
thoutpr
oper
lysay
ing
goodbye"

Ismi
l
edandsatnextt
ohi
m asweki
ssed.

Me:
"wher
e'sy
ourbr
other
"?
Hi
m:"
he'
supst
air
s"

Weki
ssedagai
n..
.

Me:
"wecan'
tdot
hisher
e"

Hescoopedmeupf rom thecouchandtookmet o

ourbedwhereheundressed.Lol
,wehadaquickie
man..
.hot
,st
eamyandquick!Thenwekissed.
..
tooka
showerandgotdr
essedsahamba, Idr
ovehimt othe
ai
rportki
ssedhi
m goodbyeandr
eturnedbackt
othe
l
adiesandhadthebestfunofmyli
fe.
[
10/
10,
19:
22]‪+27730692704‬:
#265

Thef oll
owingmorningwewer eal
lst
il
lhal
f-
drunk:
v
Lolifikhonaint
oenjal
o.Iwokeupandlooked
aroundf ormysist
ersandSiveandIonlyf
oundEve
andwokeherup

Her
:"
mh.
hm pl
easenotnow"
Me:
"wehav
etogo,
wher
e'sKer
i"
?
Her
:"
don'
tknow"

Il
ookedf orKeriandf oundhercomi ngoutofar oom
wit
hSi vesoweal lwentt omycarandheadedhome.
IdroppedSiveinherf latanddrov
et herestofus
home.Theki dswer eal r
eadyupandr unning,andat
ti
mesl i
ketheseIt hankGodIdon' thaveumnt ana
cozwhenIwal kedi nthathouseIonl ywantedt ohi
t
mybedandsmel l
myownper f
ume!Yhu!Il ocked
mysel
fin,
undressedandcov
eredmynakedbody
ndal
alacum...

WhenIwokeupmyheadwasspi nningandI
checkedtheti
me...
itwaspast2intheaf t
ernoon.I
wentforacoldshowerandwor eleggingsandav est
al
ongwi t
hsli
ppers,tookal
lmyphonesandt henI
wentdownstair
sandcuddledmy selfonthecouch
checki
ngmessages

Si
no:
"mama"
Ilookedupatherandpeckedherchubbycheeks
thenshegotonthatsamecouchIwasr est
ingon

Me:
"what
'sup"
?
Her
:"
Ijustmi
ssy
ou"
Me:
"comeher
e,l
et'
shugi
tout
"

Lol
wehugged.
Andthenshesatonmeasmyheadrest
edonthe
armrestoft
hecouchandmywhol
ebodyont
he
enti
recouch

Me:
"whatdi
dyouhav
eforbr
eakf
ast
"?
Her
:"
aunt
ymadeusbananaoat
sthenshegav
eus
f
rui
tsal
ad"
Me:
"mmh,
wher
e'sy
ourbr
other
"
Her:
"udl
alaphandl
enooBooboo.Baphi
abasi
si
bamhlophe"
?
Me:
"andi
bazi
njesi
si"
Her
:"
oohkay
"

Wej ustsatt
herepl
ayi
nggamesonmyphoneand
thenIjustcl
osedmyeyesndal
alamnangoku
adlal
ayo.
Somet i
melat
erIheardhert
alki
ngonmyphone,I
openedmyeyesandshewasl aughi
ngtal
ki
ngand
whenshesawt hatI
'
m awakeshetoldt
hespeaker
thatndi
vuki
lethenshegav
emethephone.
..Il
ooked
atthecal
lerbefor
eanswer
ing

Me:
"Si
hle"
Hi
m:"
hey
,unj
ani
"
Me:
"I
'm good.
..
Ithi
nk.Howar
eyou"
Hi
m:"
I'
m gr
eat
,hehmanmdal
amosuSi
not
hando"
?
Me:
"kakhul
uyhu"
Hi
m:"
Iwasj
ustchecki
ngy
'al
lmanakhont
o"
Me:
"oht
hanksboet
"
Hi
m:"
cheer
s"
Me:
"shar
p"

Wehungup.
..
IlookedatSi
noqui
zzi
cal
l
y

Her:
"daddyandy
ourbi
gbr
othercal
l
ed,
Itol
dthem
ul
ele"
Me:
"youshoul
dhav
ewokenme"
Her
:"hay
i si
si,
umakhul
usai
dnev
erwakeupanel
der
unl
essitsimport
ant"
:
)
Me:
"whati
fthosecal
l
swer
eimpor
tant"
?
Her
:"khangebat
shokemama"

Iki
ssedherandwenttothebathroom, Iwentupto
myroom andsawlantombi ul
elepha-_ -Iwentt
o
Ker
i'
sroom andwalkedinasEv ehadjustcameout
oft
heshower.Isatonthebed,Keriwasi nthe
bat
hroom..Il
ookedatEve,
Iknewsomet hingwasup.
Nobayint
onnah

Her
:"
didy
oucal
lMar
cusback"
?
Me:
"nowhat
'
sgoi
ngon"
?
Her
:"
rat
herheari
tfr
om hi
m"
Me:
"hearwhatf
rom hi
m"?
Wat
hul
aandsatdownr
ighti
nfr
ontofme.

Her
:"
yourman.
..
hewasst
abbed"
Me:
"who?Nt
ando"
?
Her
:"
yeah"
Me:"
hai
bo!Whatt
ime?Cozhelef
tJozi
ver
y
l
ate,
al
mostmidni
ghtl
atei
zol
o"
Her:
"apparent
lyhewasst
abbedt
oday
.He'
satt
he
hospit
alngoku"

Idi
dn'
tbel
i
evei
t.
Si
nosaidherdaddycal
l
edt
henhowcomehewas
st
abbednamhlanje?

Igotupandlef
therthere.Iwentout
sideandcal
l
ed
hi
sphone,i
twentstr
aighttoVM soIcall
edMarcus
Hi
m:"
Lil
sis"
Me:
"heyuhm,
youcal
l
edear
li
er"
Hi
m:"
yeahy
ourst
epdaught
ersai
dyou'
reasl
eep"
Me:
"yeah.Sowhat
'
sup"
Him:"
erh.
..TaBeasti
sinhospi
tal
.Hewasst
abbed
notsolongago"
Me:
"oh.
..
wher
eandhowbadi
sthewound"
?
Hi
m:"
it
sinhi
sri
bcage"
Me:
"damn!Howbadi
sit
"?
Him:"
Idon'
tknow,
thedoct
orsar
enott
ell
i
ngus
anyt
hing"
Me:
"okay
..
.Okay
."
Hi
m:"
lookI
'
llcal
lyoui
fther
e'sanychange"
Me:
"of
coz"

ThenIhungup.
Ical
l
edMo
Hi
m:"
bossl
ady
"
Me:
"hi
,
uphi
"
Hi
m:"
I'
mint
heCape,
what
'
sup"
Me:
"Iwaswonder
ingungakwazi
ukuzaeJo'
bur
gas
i
n,
ri
ghtnow"
?
Hi
m:"
why
?isev
ery
thi
ngokay
"?
Me:"
yeahuhm..
.ev
ery
thi
ngisfi
ne,Ij
ustki
ndali
ke
pr
omisedtheki
dsanout
ingndal
ibal
anowt hey
'r
eon
mycase"
Him:
"baqhel
iswanguyi
sewabo.
..
noprobl
em si
si
,l
ungi
saniI'
l
lbether
einanhourort
wo"
Me:
"t
hanksbhut
i"

Ihungup
Okay
..
.Br
eat
h.

Iwentbackt
oKer
i'
sroom ndaf
ikabat
het
ha
ngam,
theyabr
upt
lyst
oppedt
hough

Me:
"I
'mf
lyi
ngt
oCTi
naboutt
wohour
s"
Ker
i:
"Mar
csay
sit
sdanger
ousoutt
her
eri
ghtnow"
Me:
"wel
lI'
l
lfacet
hatwhenI
'
mther
e..
."
Ev
e:"
theki
ds"
?
Me:
"I
'mt
aki
ngt
hem wi
th"
Keri
:
"baby
,whynotwai
tforMarctocall
andi
nfor
m
youofanyprogr
esst
heny oucanfl
yin"
Me:"
guys,
Iwasj
ustt
ell
i
ngy
ounotr
equest
ingf
rom
y'
al
lneh"
Ker
i:
"Iknow,
butbabet
hinkabouti
t"
Eve:
"she'snotonet
ochangehermi ndthat
easi
l
y .
..
look,
I'
ll
comewit
hy ou.Formoralsuppor
t"
Me:
"sur
e,packabagsi
hambeke"

ThenIlef
tthem andwentt
opackj
ustaweekend
bagforeachofhiski
dsandmyownthenndababi
za
t
her
efr
eshedandwewai
tedf
orMot
osayhe'
sher
e.

Whenhef i
nallycalledIaskedmydr iverst odriveus
totheai r
por tthenweboar dedt hepl ane. .
.t
hef l
ighta
quietone.YouknowIdr oppedev ery t
hi ng?Wheni t
comest omehedr opsev eryt
hingt oo.Heal way s
putsmef ir
stnomat terhowbusyhe' sschedul eis
butwhenIcal landsayI 'mintroubleorIneedhi m he
comesr i
ghtawaysoasIhadpr omi sedatt he
reunionoft hisr el
ationshi
pthatI '
l
lmakean
effor
t,nowwast her i
ghttimetoshowt hateffort.I
wasn' tevent hi
nkingaboutl osinghi m, Iwasj ust
thi
nkingofwhathe' lldowhenheget soutoft hat
hospital.
..

Wel
anded.
IIcall
edI vorandhecametofet
chus,Ihadmyown
keynalaphasot hi
swasnohustle.
..
every
onewentt
o
his/
herr oom Ical
ledMar
cusndimbuzabakwesi
phi
i
sibhedleleandhet ol
dmethenIhungup
Me:
"Ev
e"?

Shecamedown

Me:
"I
'l
ll
eaveyouwi
tht
hem,I
'
llbuysomet
hingf
ory
all
t
oeatIvorwi
l
lcomebackwi
thitneh"
Her
:"
okaycool
"
Me:
"shar
p"

Iwentt ot hehospitalwi
thI
vor,
Igavehim moneyto
buyt hem f oodndahambamnanday akwesi
sibhedlele. .
.Igotagoaheadfrom thecasual
tyar
ea
thought hiswasapr i
vat
ehospital

IsawGuddawi thsixcof
feesandaboxthatI
thoughtconsi
stedofmuffi
nsorscones.
..Hesaw
meandwasshocked
Him:
"haubossl
ady
,ar
en'
tyousupposedt
obei
n
Jo'
burg"
?
Me:
"how'
syourboss"
?
Hi
m:"howdi
dyougether
e?Doesy
ourbr
otherknow
ul
apha"?

Ij
ustwalkedawayf r
om him,t
owardstheward
numberIwasgiv enndabonauMar cuskuqal
aand
hesawmeandj ustshookhishead..
.Wejust
huggedakathet
ha.Imustsay ,
theguyswere
somewhatuncomf ort
able

Me:
"souhm,
canIseehi
m"?
Hi
m:"
thedoct
orsai
dheneedst
orest
"
Me:
"Iwon'
ttakel
ong,
Ij
ustwannaseehi
m"

Hesighedandopenedt hedoorforme.Iwal
kedin
andhadal umpinmyt hroatwhenIsawhimlyi
ng
ther
e.Isatdown.Yho.Thisishar
derthanIt
hought
i
tactual
l
ywoul
dbe.
..Ihel
dhi
shandandj
ustl
ooked
athi
m.
[
10/
10,
19:
22]‪+27730692704‬:
#266

Il
ookedathi
m..
.

Me:"dudebuty
oupr
omisedyou'
l
lbesaf
e.What
happened?Whodi
dthi
stoyou"?

Obviouslyhecoul dn'
tanswermerightawaycozhe
washeav i
lysedated.Ist
oppedmyselffr
om cr
ying,
I
swallowedt hathardlumpandbreathedout
.Igotup
andki ssedhisli
psndaphuma.ThankGodIhad
askedI vortocomebackf orme
Mybr
othercamet
ome.
..

Me:
"so,
whathappened"
?
Hi
m:"
Ican'
treal
l
ysaymuchatt
hemoment
"
Me:
"mmhguessI
'
llseey
ouar
ound"
Him:
"youshoul
dn'
tbehere.It
oldKer
ithaty
oucan'
t
comehereit
sverydanger
ous"
Me:
"bef
oreIgo,
cany
ougi
vemehi
sphones"
?

Theyalll
ookedateachother.
..Guddasaid
somethi
ngkuRangerwhi sper
ingwhileIwait
ed.
Thentheygavemehi st
abandt woper sonal
phones

Me:
"zi
yashot
a"
Ranger
:"t
hesear
ebusi
nessphoneTee"
Me:
"It
hinkIknowt
hatal
ready
"
Gudda:
"wecan'
tgi
vey
ouezi
phonemf
ethu.Just
t
akethose"

Il
ookedatt
hem st
ernl
y

Me:
"Gudda,
Ranger
..
.i
fyouknowwhat
'sgoodf
ory
ou
you'
l
lgi
vemethosephones.Unless.
..Unl
essy
ou
knowI'
l
lfi
ndwhaty'
al
larehidi
ngf r
om me"

Mar
clookedatt
hem ankeptqui
et.
..
Iwai
ted.
..

Gudda:"
Teemf et
hut
hesephoneshavei
mport
ant
confi
denti
ali
nfor
mat
ionpleaseman,
i
fwegiv
ey ou
we'l
lgeti
nt r
oubl
ewi
ththeKing"

Marc:"babygi
rl
,goandr
est
.I'
l
linf
ormy
ouofany
changes"
Il
ookedatt
heguy
sonemor
eti
me.
..
Me:
"by
eby
eMar
c"

Iki
ssedhischeekandwentt
ot hefr
ontoft
he
hospi
tal
andIvorwasalr
eadytherewai
ti
ngpat
ient
ly.
Hetookmehome. ..
Iwentst rai
ghttomyr oom,
dranktwopai nki
l
lersand
gotinbed.Dammi t
!ButIcouldn'
tsleepawink...I
wast ossingandturni
ngokondancamandav ukaand
tookhi sl
aptopandopenedsomel atestmessages
ndafundaokoandt herewasnothingIcouldpinto
thi
sst abbing.

Ikeptonreadi
ngandr eadi
ngnothi
ng,
Ithr
ewthem
asideanddecidedtogodownstair
swhereEv
et he
ki
dswer ewatchingTV

Si
no:
"heeeubuy
ephi
mama"
?
Me:
"bend'
l
elebaby
"
Si
no:
"oohuphi
utat
a"?

Icl
ear
edmyt
hroat

Me:
"ut
atakho?He'
sinEastLondon"
Her
:"
uyekumakhul
u"?
Me:
"yep"
Her
:"
mmkay
"

Wewat
chedTV,
mymi
ndwasnother
e.Atal
l
.

Ir
ecei
vedacal
lfr
om Fai
th.
..

Me:
"l
ow"
Her
:"
hi,
yougood"
?
Me:
"I
'm gr
eat
.You"
?
Her:
"I
'm good,
Iwaswonderi
ngifyou'
l
lhav
eachance
nextweekendI'
ll
bevi
sit
ingyourdad"
Me:
"youmeany
ou'
l
lbev
isi
ti
ngy
ourbr
other
"
Her
:"
yes"
Me:
"mmh,
I
'l
lsee.Idon'
tknowf
ornow"
Her
:"
okay
,I
'l
lawai
tyourcal
l
"
Me:
"sur
e"

Thenshehungup
Idon'
tknow...Ij
ust,
Idi
dn'tf
eell
i
kev i
si
tingpri
son
nowmay bel
entoyenzekakuNtandoscaredmeof f
abitbutIhadto.Ican'
tkeeppostponi
ngthis
i
ssue..
.atendofthedaythismancouldbemy
dad,
I'
m notsure.Idon'
tknow.
[
10/
10,
19:
23]‪+27730692704‬:
#267

Threeday sdownNtandowasoper at
edand
recoveri
ngbuthestil
ldi
dn'tknowwe'r
eher eandthe
sit
uationwasbad..
.Histeam wasonbl oodwarday
i
ndayoutandt heonl
ywayt ofeel
protectedwasto
stayi
ndoor sorgobackt oJozi

Me:"
I'
m notgoi
ngany
wher
e..
.Ev
ecant
aket
heki
ds
andgo"
Marc:
"Tr
inal
i
que!Pl
sman.
.It
oldy
ouIwi
l
lcal
lyou
whenhe'
sout "
Myphoner
ang.
..Ranger

Me:
"hi
"
Hi
m:"
taBeastwant
stoseey
ou"

Iwasshocked.
..
andhappy.
..
butIdi
dn'
twannagi
ve
awaykuMar ct
hateasi
ly
.

Me:
"uhm,
okay
.Sur
e.Thanks"
Hi
m:"
shar
p"

Wehungup.
..

Me:
"boet
,I'
dli
ket
osi
thereandar
guewithy
oubut
t
her
e'ssomewher
eI'
vegott
aberi
ghtnow"
Him:"canyouat
leastconsi
derwhatI
'
m say
ing?
Thinkoftheki
dspls"
Me:
"okay
,nopr
obl
em"

Il
efthi
m andwentt
ot akeahoodieasIcall
edIv
orto
dr
ivemet ot
hehospit
al,Marcst
ayedbehindhavi
ng
l
unchwithEveandthekids.
Whenwer eachedthehospi
tal
Ijusthurri
edtothe
wardandhisguys,
aboutthr
eeofthem wer ei
nside.
..
Isl
owlyopenedthedoorandGuddal ookedatme

Hi
m:"
uhm,
gent
smasphumeni
njekanci
nci
"

Theyallt
urnedtolookatmeandsai dsomethi
ngin
alowv oi
cethentheyallwentout.It
ookafewsteps
towardshim andstoppedabrupt
lywhenRanger
bursti
nblabberi
ng

Hi
m:"
Tri
nay
ouhav
etogonow"
:
ohebet t
erbekidding.
..Il
ookedathi
m andbackt
o
Ntandoquizzi
cal
ly
Him:
"Pl
easeTee,
thi
spl
acei
saboutt
ogetbl
oody
.
Leav
e.Pl
s"
Me:"
nowI
'
mtot
all
yconf
used!Whydi
dyoucal
lme
her
e"?
Bae:
"kwenzekant
onmf
ethu"
Ranger
:"Ij
ustgotnoti
fi
edt
hatuYanganal
amaji
ta
asondoparkaundergr
oundandt
heylookl
i
kethey'
re
onami ssi
on"

Ntandotookadeepbreat
handgotup.Hest ar
ted
dressi
ng.
..
nowIwasdumb.Rangerleft.
..
Ijuststood
therewanxi
baumntuwagqibaandhepackedhi s
bagbiyot
hathwanguGuddaendli
ni.
..

Hi
m:"
masambe"
Me:
"di
dyougetdi
schar
ged"
?
Hi
m:"l
et'
snotworr
yaboutt
hatr
ightnow,
wehav
e
bi
ggerpr
oblems"
Okay
Mef ussingi
snotgonnahelpany
onerightnow,
we
madewayout si
deandgotint
hecar
..
.noonenoticed.
Idon'tknowhowt hough.

Hi
m:"
Ivor
..
.dr
ivef
ast
"
I
vor
:"
roger
"

Jongauphumaaphowasl
i
kesi
phephet
hiwe!
Wereachedthehousei
namatt
erofminut
es.
..Ihad
t
ogoinf i
rstt
omakesurehi
ski
dsdon'
tseehi
m. .
.hi
s
i
nst
ructi
ons.

Me:
"Ev
e"?
Her
:"
kit
chen"

Iwentt
oher
,t
heywer
ebaki
ngsoIt
ookherasi
de.
Me:"t
hesit
uati
onhasgott
enworse.Canyoupl
stake
them t
othei
rroom,
Ntandodoesn'
twantt
hem t
osee
him"
Her
:"
he'
sher
e?I
shebet
ter
?Washedi
schar
ged"
?
Me:
"hedi
schar
gedhi
msel
f,
nowpl
s.Wedon'
thav
e
mucht
ime"
Her
:"
sur
e"

Sheaskedt hem tofollowherandt heyobli

ged,Iwent
togetNt andooutandwewentt ohisroom upstai
rs.
..
Ijustst
oodbyt hedoorasheundr essesand
searchedf orbandagesi nhisdr
awerthenhe
ti
ghtenedt hewounddr essi
ng.Heworeat i
ght
protect
orlikeat hickrubberorsil
iconevestthenhe
wor ehi
scl othes..
.al
lblackandheav y.
.maybezi
protect
iveIdon' tknow.

Whenhewasdonehesatdown.
..Andl
ookedatme
Hi
m:"
sondel
ababe"

Iwal
kedt
ohi
m andsatonhi
slap

Him:"
youguysshoul
dleave.Youshouldn'thav
e
comet hi
ssi
de,t
hispl
aceisdangerous,ithas
becomeabloodbattl
ezone"

Ikeptqui
et

Hi
m:"
baby
"

Cwaka.

Hel
i
ftedupmychi
nandwel
ookedateachot
her

Hi
m:"
itwi
l
lsoonendt
henni
zophi
ndani
buy
e"
Me:
"uy
aphi
wenangokuNt
ando"
Hi
m:"
Iuhm,
Ihav
etoat
tendt
osomet
hing"
Me:
"orsomeone"
?

Wat
hul
a

Him:
"please.Packi
zi
ntozenuandgobackt
o
Jo'
burg.Please"
Me:
"I
'm notl
eav
ingy
ou"
Him:"
it
sforyourowngood,
don'
twor
ryyour
sel
f
aboutme.Justtaket
heki
dsandgo.
..
I'
l
lfol
l
owwhen
I'
m done"

Igotupandwal
kedt
othedoor

Hi
m:"
baby
"

Ndema
Hegotupandhuggedmef rom behi
nd.Tear
swell
ed
upinmyey es.
..Theanimali
nNtandowas
unl
eashingbutI'
mt el
l
ingyou,
I'
m notgoi
nganywher
e!
Hekissedmyneck

Him:"
Icoul
dnotbeablet
oli
vewi
thmy
sel
fif
anyt
hinghappenedt
oyou"
Me:"
khayekemf
ethu.Hambai
yakul
endawoi
fanba
uy
akuy o"

ThenIl
oosenedhisgr
ipar
oundmywaistandl
eft
hi
m,Iwentt
ot heki
dsandpackedt
hei
rbags

Owe:
"si
yahambasi
si"
?
[
10/
10,
19:
23]‪+27730692704‬:
#268

Me:
"eweboy
"
Hi
m:"
yho,
si
ngambonanganot
ata"
Me:
"he'
l
lcomet
oJo'
bur
gwhenhe'
sgotachance"
Si
no:
"asi
zoy
akumakhul
ukengokmama"
?
Me:
"notnamhl
anj
ebaby
"
Her
:"
butsi
zoy
a"
Me:
"It
hinkso"

Theystart
edget t
ingdressedEvehelpedthem and
shealsopacked...Myphonebeeped" khazapha
eroomin"Ididn'
tgor i
ghtaway.Ipackedfi
nish.
..
I
wasreadyt ogotooi fndi
dendahambaIwasn' t
gonnachangeany t
hingndir
ightl
ewaendi yi
yomna.

Me:
"Eve,t
akethem tothecarsolong.I
'l
lbedowni
n
aminute.
..Theundergroundpar
king"
Her
:"
sur
e"

Shamemnt akasekhayawasn'
tevensayi
ngmuch,
but
Icoul
dseeshewasdeadwor ri
edaboutthi
swhol
e
si
tuat
ion.Whent heyhadl
eftIwentt
otheroom
ndafi
kaemebyt
hewi
ndow.Iwal
kedi
nandcl
osed
thedoor
..
.

Me:
"sup"
?

Het
urnedbutdi
dn'
tmov
e..
.

Hi
m:"
Iuhm,
justwant
edt
osayt
hanky
ou"
Me:
"f
ornt
o"
Hi
m:"
beingher
eformeandmyki
ds.
..
especi
all
yata
t
imel
ikethi
s"
Me:
"sho"
Him:"
babyIneedyoutocooper
atewithmeher e,
go
toJo'
burgst
aywiththem awhi
lelongeratLuke'
s
housecozIdon'
tknownobaabazokuy aphakum
nah"
Me:
"I
vori
swai
ti
ngdownst
air
ssoIhav
etogo"
Hi
m:"
canIt
rusty
ou"
?
Me:
"Idon'
tknow,
whatdoy
out
hink"

Hecamef
orwar
d

Him:"
Ineedy
outodoaf
ewt
hingsf
ormeof
ika
kwakhoendl
i
ni.
..
"
Me:
"sur
e"

Iknowndiyaty
haf i
sashamebuthey,Ididn'twanna
l
eavehim okay.Ididn'
ttr
ustt
hathe'
llbefine..
.most
ofall
IknowIdi dn'
twannaloosehim.
Itur
nedtowal
kaway.
..Butt
hen,
Icoul
dn'
t.Iwal
ked
ri
ghtint
ohi
sarmsandhuggedhi
m

Me:"
youbet
ternotdi
eint
hisbl
oodywary
'al
lar
e
doi
ng"
Hi
m:"
keepmei
nyourpr
ayer
s"
Imov
edbackandki ssedhi
m,atearescapedoneof
myeyesndasukakwakuyekengok.

Hi
m:"
keepsaf
eneh"
Me:
"youkeepsaf
eNt
ando,
fory
ourki
dssake"

Heki
ssedmyfor
eheadandIlef
thim,
gotint
hecar
andwedrov
etotheai
rpor
t.MotookustoJo'
bur
g.

Whenwel andedthedri
ver
swereal
readywai
ti
ngi
n
twocars..
.Don'taskmewhywewoul dneedt
wo
cars.Anywaywedr ovehomeandguesswhat?
Eli
zabethwasst i
llt
her
ebutherf
ri
endshadgone.
..

Thekidsj
oinedt
heot
her
s,Ev
eandi
wentt
oKer
i'
s
room

Her
:"
hey ,
you'
reback!ThankGod..Iwasget
ti
ng
wor
ried.Whydidn'
tyouguy scal
l
"?
Ev
e:"
toomanyquest
ionsKer
i.
..
toomanyquest
ions"

Hahaha!Ij
ustf
loppedonherbedonmystomach
andEvefol
lowed,weblockedev
ery
thi
ngout
.

Ker
i:
"ar
eyouguy
sokay
"?

Me:
"yeah.
..Justgi
veusami
nut
e"
Her
:"
okay
,i
'l
lbei
ntheki
tchen"
Me:
"mmh"

Aft
ersheclosedt
hedoorwel
ookedateachot
her
andlaughed

Me:
"whati
sLi
zst
il
ldoi
ngher
e"?
Her
:"
yoooh!She'
swor
set
hanCapeTown"
Me:"
I'
mjustgr
atef
ulherf
ri
endshavelef
t.At
leastI
won'
thavetogoovertoNtando'
shouse"
Her
:"
speaki
ngofhi
m..
.What
sthel
atest
"?
Me:"
I'
m supposedt
ocal
lhi
m,hesai
dhehad
somethi
ngformetodoforhi
m"
Her
:"
hav
eyoucal
l
edhi
m"?
Me:
"no.Idon'
tthi
nki
wil
l
"
Her
:"
ohTr
ina"
Me:
"whati
fIendangermy
sel
f"
?
Her
:"
youshoul
dhav
ethoughtaboutt
hatwheny
ou
f
lewdowntoCT"

Isatdumb.
Beastwasonsomedeepshi
tri
ghtt
her
e!
Andhewaschi
l
ledabouti
t.
..
hei
sal
way
schi
l
ledy
az.

Nt
ando'
sPOV
Backi
nCT

Aft
ertheylef
t,Idrovemy sel
ftothewarehouse
whereImetwi thmyt eam.Yanganeededt obeput
i
nplace..
.Ohbyt heway ,YangaisbraKil
la'
ssonand
soithi
nkhewasav enginghisfat
her'
sdeath
ngal
entobutthatdon'tmeanI '
m gonnatakeitsi
tt
ing
down.Amanf i
ghtsforhisownsur v
ivalout
chea.

Gudda:"
ta.
..IaskedMxot
odi
gandt
hisi
swhathe
found"

Itookthedocuments..
.Okay ,
wit
hallofthi
siknewi
couldhavetheupperhandont hiswholesit
uation.
Wedi dabri
efingandpr operpl
anni
ngunt i
ll
ate..
.i
sentoneoftheguyst ogobuyf oodaswepol ished
anddustedoffthetools.Myadrenal
inewashi gh..
.
I
thasbeenalongt i
mesincewe'vebeeninabl ood
war,
don'
tmindKil
la.Thatwasjustpl
ay.Idi
dn'teven
putmuchint
othatotherthansavi
ngS'bongi
le.
X:
"gr
oot
man,
itst
ime"
Me:
"ni
tyi
l
e"?
X:
"ewebr
a"
Me:
"sur
e"

Hewenttogathereveryone,
wepr ay
edandl oaded
t
hecars.
..
itwaspastelevenatnight.Theonlytime
t
orevealt
hebeastsinus.Idrovewi thX(cozididn't
r
eal
lytr
usthimi wantedtotesthisl
oy al
tyt
onight)
t
henitookBonganiwhogoesbyt henameBul let.

Mar
ct ookthr
eemen, Rangert
ookhi
sownt
hreeand
t
herestlef
twithGudda.
IreachedYanga' sapartment,openedthefrontdoor
andwal kedi n..
.Iwentstrai
ghttohisr
oom and
foundhim asl eepwithtwogirl
s..
.Xhadani nject
ion
thatcontainedf l
uidt
hatwi l
lmakeYangaf alli
nto
thi
sdeepsl eepsoi i
nstruct
edhimt oi
njecthim and
hedidwi thoutsecondt houghts
Me:
"Bul
l
et,
car
ryhi
mtot
het
runk"
Hi
m:"
roger
"

Ashecarr
iedYangaofft
hebed,
oneoft
hegi
rl
swoke
up,
Bul
letj
usttookYangadowntot
hecar

Her:"
ohmygosh. .
.What
sgoi ngon?Yanga?Where
areyoutakinghi
m?Dammi tanswermeorI '
m gonna
scream andwakeuptheneighbor
s"
Me:
"At
henkosi
right
"?
Her:
"howdoy
ouknowmyname?Whot
hef
uckar
e
you"
?
Me:"whoam Ishoul
dbethel
eastofyourconcer
ns
ri
ghtnow...Cummonwakeyourf
ri
endupandget
dressed.Wedon'
thavet
hewholenight
"
Her
:"
jyi
sbef
okasj
ydi
nkekgaansaam metj
ull
e"
Ilookedather.
..Xwasbusycol
lect
ing
valuabl
es,
phones,t
abs,
lapt
opsandev er
ythi
ngon
paperfrom dr
awersandundermatrass.

Me:
"iwontr
epeatmy
sel
f"

Waphakamaandwokeupherf r
iend,
theygot
dressedandwedr ov
ebacktothewar ehouse.The
otherswerenotbackyetsot
hesetwohadt odoall
thework

Me:
"Bul
l
et"
Hi
m:"
Shot
a"
Me:
"br
ingt
hechai
rs"

Hebroughtmethreechai
rswi
ththeel
ectr
ocut
ed
hat
sandst r
apstokeeponeononeplace.
Me:
"X.
..
qal
angoYanga"
Hi
m:"
roger
"

HestrappedYangai nhisseat
..
.Iposit
ionedthegir
ls
ashortdistancef
rom him,f
aci
nghimt henXal so
str
appedt hem whi
letheywerecoveredinbrown
paperbag.
Mar c'
O'Poloret
urnedwit
hYanga'syoungest
brother
...
theoneheusedorrathersenttobur
ndown
mymot her'
shouse,al
ongwi
thhisfri
endswho
helpedhim.

Me:"
thi
sisgonnabeal ongni
ght,
Bulletbr
ingmor
e
chai
rsandsetthem ar
oundthi
sniqqa"

Rangercamebackwi thfourgangmembers,
they
al
sogotinlinethenGuddacamewi t
hthebaby
momma, herthugbrot
hersandasurpri
se:
vChuma!
Al
lwereseti nposi
ti
on
Gudda:
"ihav
easur
pri
seguest
"
Me:
"idontl
i
kesur
pri
ses"

Hepoi
ntedt
owar
dsachai
r
Ir
emov
edChuma'
sbr
ownbagandsmi
l
edather
..
.

Me:
"mmh.
..
whatdowehav
eher
e"
Her
:"
babypl
ease.
..Idi
dn'
tdoany
thi
ng"
Him:"Chuma.
..
wow.Iunderest
imat
edy ouyaz.Guess
i
tstruewhattheysay
,leav
esdontfal
lfarf
rom it
s
t
rees"
Her:
"Nt
andopl
ease..
.what
sallt
his?Whyam i
chai
nedonthi
sstupi
dchair"
?
Him:
"ssssh!Nt
andowasstabbedremember?He'
s
homeresti
ngkenana,
butBeasti
saround"
Her
:"Nt
andopl
ease.
..
"
Hi
m:"
don'
twor
ry,
you'
l
llov
eBeast
"
Il
ookedatt
heguy
s..
.

Me:
"wel
ldone.Youcangoandhav
erestnow"
Them:
"sur
eta"

Wewalkedout,
l
ockedandwentt
orest
..
..
Kusaz
onuka!
[
10/
10,
19:
23]‪+27730692704‬:
#269

Nt
ando'
sPOV

WhenIreachedthehouseIwentthroughthestuf
f
wegotfrom Yanga'
scri
b..
.mxm pastfouri
nthe
morni
ngIjustgotboredandwentbackt othe
war
ehouse.
IopenedupYangaandhewasstil
ldr
owsysoItook
abucketofcoldwat
erandspl
ashedi
tonhi
sfacehe
i
mmedi at
elycametoatt
ent
ion
Me:
"goodmor
ningf
ell
a"
Hi
m:"
taBeast
..
.Wha-
"

Hewriggl
edhi
mselff
rom hi
schai
rinvai
n..
.Itooka
chai
randsati
nfr
ontofhi
m nextt
ohisbrother

Me:"
So.
..
.Youdeci
dedt
ofi
ghty
ourf
ather
sbat
tl
es
huh"
Him:"
taBeastbr
a..
.Pl
ease.Justl
etmego,
Idi
dn'
tdo
anyt
hing"
Me:"pi
tyyouneverl
i
stenedwheny ourdadtoldy
ou
thi
swor l
disdanger
ous..
.Ifyouhadn'
tli
stenedt
ou
Chumay ouwouldn'
tbeher eri
ghtnow"

Ihear
dChumamumbl
i
ngsomet
hingsoIgotupand
wenttoher
Me:"
heysweet
y..
.Ther
e'sy
ourbr
other
.Lont
o
ni
yafana"
Her
:"
Ntandodon'
tdot
his"
Me:"ndi
yezaMy
anganant
wana.
..
khawmendi
qal
e
apha"

Ipul
ledmytabl
ewi
thev
erysor
toft
ool
andsati
n
fr
ontofher

Me:
"youknow,
any
thi
ngwi
thf
ir
esmel
lofy
ourname"
Her
:"
Iwasn'
ti
nvol
vedwhent
heybur
ntdowny
our
momshouse"
Me:
"oh,
butyouknowt
heyburnti
tdown..
.howt
ypi
cal
.
Any
way..
.Canwegoback?Lemmet akeyoudown
memorylane"

Ipluggedt
heextensi
ont
oasocketnear
byandt
ook
theremotecont
rol
Me:"t
hisishowwe'r
egonnadothis,I
'l
laska
questi
onandyouanswerhonest
ly..
.OrIsayafact
andallyouhavet
osayistr
ueorfalse.Goti
t"
?

Shenod

Me:"
I'
m gladweunderst
andeachot
hercozt
her
e'l
l
beconsequencesi
fyoudeci
detoli
etome"

Itakemypl i
ersandlookather
...
thenIswi
tchedon
theelect
rocutedchai
randitdr
izzledt
hehellout
ta
her:vIcouldseeshewasshaken

Me:"sor
ryaboutthat,
wasj
ustchecki
ngbai y
aspana
nah.Anyway,usakhumbul
auyotshi
saiki
tchil
a
kwam ndingekho"?
Her
:"
yes"
Me:
"mh.
..
soi
tssaf
etosayt
haty
ouknewwhaty
ou
wer
edoi
ng"
Her
:"
Ntandol
ook,
Iwashur
tokay
?Iwan-
"

Itur
nedonthechai
r..
.t
hechairelectrocut
esfr
om t
he
headdownanditsverypai
nful.After30secondsI
swit
chedi
toff

Me:
"cooper
ateChuma.Cooper
atenont
ombi
"
Yanga:"
taBeastbrast
opthi
sshi
t!Thi
sshi
tcoul
d
messwi t
hhermi nduyay
aznawelont
owhatwil
lyou
tel
lyourson?Huh"?
Me:
"myson?Ihav
eason?Wi
thwho"
?
Yanga:"
areyouinsane?Youhav
easonnoChuma
manf uckthi
sshit"
!
Me:
"may
beIl
ostmymemor
ymf
ethu"
Chuma: "
sonowyou'
vefor
gottenyourownson?I
knowy ou'
reat
hugbutIdi
dn'tthi
nkyou'
dbethi
s
cruel
.
..t
onotevenr
egar
dy ourownf l
eshandbl
ood"

Il
ookedatbot
hoft
hem andl
aughed.
..
Me:"y
ouguysmustbet
akingaboutNt
ando.
..Movi
ng
on.SoChumayousayyouhadint
ensi
onshuh"?
Her
:"
yes"
Me:
"t
oki
l
lmygi
rl
fr
iendandmyunbor
nson"
?
Her
:"
Ijustwant
edt
osc-
"

It
urnedt
hechai
ronagai
n..
.f
or2mi
nut
es

Me:
"yesornobet
tery
et,
tr
ueorf
alseneh"
Her
:"You'
ret
ort
uri
ngmel
i
key
ou'
venev
erl
ovedme
bef
ore"

Shesaidalotofthi
ngsandmyt emperwasrisi
ng.
..I
j
usttookmypl i
ersandri
ppedherfootpi
nki
eoff.
Shecri
edinagony ,
waki
ngever
yoneelseup

Yanga:
"f
ucky
ouBeast
!Fucky
ou,
you'
renotman
enough!I
fyou'
reamani
zakum uy
ekeuChumaj
ou
masêpoes"

Me:
"Chuma.
..
thatwasf
ormyson"
Her
:"
fucky
ouNt
ando!Fucky
ou"

Ibentdownandr emovedthesecondoneonthe
otherf
oot.
..
thatsentherj
olt
ingupherseat
.

Me:"
thatwasforubaby
..
.y
our obbedheran
opport
uni
tyofbei
ngamot her
"

Whenshestar
tedsweari
ngandshower i
ngmewi t
h
morevul
garwordsIj
usttur
nedont hechai
r,
set15
mi
nutesandwenttositi
nfrontofYanga.

Me:
"i
ngat
huy
athet
hamj
i
ta"
Hespitonmyf ace.
..Igotupandwashedmyface
ret
urnedandslappedthedemooutofhisugl
yface
henosebledi
mmedi atel
y

Me:"
soYanga.Youal
soseem t
obef
asci
nat
edby
f
ir
ehuh"?
Hi
m:"
fucky
ouf
ucki
ngassout
tamyf
ace"
Me:"
mmh. .
.Ki
l
lalef
tyouwi
ththedir
tymouth.I
tsnot
cut
ethoughIrecommendhim..
it
sthel
easthecould
do"

Igotupandsethi
schairf
or20minutesasIl
oaded
mygunsandsharpenedmypocketknif
e

Aft
ert wentyminutesIlockedthedoor
sandwentt o
bathendlini
..WhenIcheckedmyphones, Ihad
missedcal l
sfrom bae.Iknowshe'sworr
iedand
she'
llprobablyactupfornotpicki
ngupthecall
sbut
hey,
Ihav emor eimportanti
ssuesonmypl at
eright
now..
.
AsIstoodundert
heshowerheadIreleasedalong
br
eathImusthavebeenhol
dingfortoolong.
..

OhI
'
m gonnahav
eav
eryl
ongday
..
.
---

Ical
l
edNt
ando.
Ical
ledthi
sniqqaf
ourfl
ippenti
mesandhedi dn'
t
evenrespondkweyone?Yethe'
st heonewhosaidI
mustcallhi
m whenI'
m home?Uy and'
qhel
aqha
qwaba!

Ev
e:"
he'
snotpi
cki
ng"
Me:
"nope"
Her
:"
may
behe'
sbusy
"
Me:"whatev
erwet
huEv
e.Let
'sgot
otheki
tchen,
I
'm
hungry"
Wefoll
owedeachot hertothekitchenandsawLiz
hav
ingteawithhersist
er-
in-
lawbutwedi dn'
tbudge
wejustpassedandwentst r
aighttotheki
tchen

Ev
e:"
Ifeel
li
kesausages.
..
andaf
izzydr
ink"
Me:
"masenze,
Ij
ustwantsomegoodf
oodmt
chana"

Shemadet hesausages,Ibut
ter
edthebreadand
madeGr eeksal
adwithfetacheeset
henwet ookour
foodtowhereLizandKer i
were,wegreet
edthen
sahl
alasatya

Ker
i:
"yhoy
ouguy
smustbehungr
y"
Eve:
"mh,
youhav
enoi
dea.Sowhat
'sup?Whyi
sshe
st
ill
her
e"?
Li
z:
"whydon'ty
ouaskmedi
rect
lyi
fyouhav
ea
pr
oblem wi
thme"?
Ev
e:"
Iwasn'
ttal
ki
ngt
oyou"
Li
z:
"buty
ou'
ret
alki
ngaboutmei
nmypr
esence"
Ev e:
"El
i
zabet
h,couldyouforoncebeagood
daughteri
n-l
awandbequi etwheny ourin-l
awsare
talki
ng?Wedon' thav
etoincl udeyouory ourwor
d
sistery
ou'
remor eofav i
sitorherefornow"
Li
z:
"Ker
iIdon'
twannaf
ightwi
thEv
e,pl
easet
alkt
o
her
"
Eve:
"noneed,
I
'mfineaslongasIdon'
thav
etosee
yourfacei
never
ycornerItur
nto"

Waphakama
Ij
ustsatt
her
eandf
ini
shedeat
ingokondi
thecwaka.

Li
z:
"you'
reawf
ull
yqui
etTee"

Ii
gnor
esher
..
.
Li
z:
"Tr
ina"
Me:
"I
'm noti
nthemoodokay
"?
Li
z:
"j
eeer
!It
hinkI
'
veov
erst
ayedmywel
comeher
e"
Me:
"yousai
dit
"

Ndaphakamaandwentt
oputt
het
ray
sint
heki
tchen.

Myphoner
ang.
..

Ker
i:
"Teey
ourphonei
sri
ngi
ng"
Me:
"I
'm notav
ail
abl
e"
Her
:"
itcoul
dbei
mpor
tant"
Me:
"j
ustt
ell
whoev
eri
tist
hatI
'
m notar
ound"

Iwashedt
hedi shesassheansweredmyphonebut
bei
ngKeri
.
..shebroughtt
hephonet othekit
chenand
puti
tonmyearIl ookedather:
oindisbel
ief.
Hi
m:"
baby
"
Me:
"er
h..
.hi
"
Hi
m:"
ubusynah"
?
Me:
"yeahki
nda.Ugr
and"
Hi
m:"
yeahndi
shar
p"
Me:
"sho"

Wakhewat
hul
a

Hi
m:"
plscal
lmewheny
ou'
renotoccupi
ed"
Me:
"kay
"
Hi
m:"
Ilov
eyou,
okay
"
Me:
"okay
"

Iheardhi
m sighi
ng.
..Ij
ustgav
eKerit
hephoneand
fi
nishedwhatIwasdoing.Imi
ssedhi
m somuch,I
wasworri
edabouthi
swoundbutIdi dn'twannaput
muchthoughti
ntohi
m cozmyhear twast orn
shame.
.Mymi ndwouldn'
tletgoofthesituat
ionI
l
efti
ncapeTownbutt henwhatdif
ferencewouldI
havemade?I'
minexperi
encedremember ?
Butal
li
nal
l
,Ij
ustmi
ssedhi
m.St
ru'
bob.
[
10/
10,
19:
23]‪+27730692704‬:
#270

WhenIwasdoneIj ustwentupst
air
sandlayonmy
bed,
Idi
aledNtandosincesai
dIshouldcal
lhi
m back
whenI'
m notoccupied

Hi
m:"
yah"
Me:
"yho,
caughty
ouatabadt
imeIguess"
Hi
m:"
hey,
uhm..
.Ndibusyri
ghtnowcany
oucal
lme
meagai
naft
erthi
rt
ymi nut
es'
'
Me:
"sur
e"

Hehungup
Iwasleftstar
ingatthescreen..
.Myheadwas
thr
obbingv er
ypainful
l
y,Iwasn'treal
l
yfeel
i
ngwell
butIdi
dn'twannaf ussaboutitcozIknewinobayi
l
e
ntokaNt andondi
y i
shiy
eisenzekakwelaKapa.I
call
edSoso:

Hi
m:"bhey
ibhi
wam"
Me:
"hey
,unj
ani
"
Hi
m:"I
'm good.
..
whyy
ousoundi
ngdef
eat
edand
di
sappoi
nted"?
Me:
"I'
m good"
Hi
m:"
cummon,
gimmesomet
hingbet
tert
hant
hat
"
Me:
"It
hinkI
'
mti
red"
Hi
m:"
thenr
est
..
.wai
t,
don'
ttel
lmehehashur
tyou"
Me:
"who?NomanSoso"
Hi
m:"
babedon'
tst
andupf
orhi
mifhehur
tsy
ou"
Me:"hedi
dn'
t.
..IguessI'
m al
readywornoutyi
l
e
rel
ati
onshi
pmt chana.Imean,
IknewwhatIwas
gett
ingmysel
fintowhenIsaidIlovedhi
m but
seei
nghi
m hur
tli
ket
hatSoso.
..Idon'
tknowi
fIcan-
"
Hi
m:"
Tee"
Me: "andt
omakethingsworseandazni
xmnaabout
beingagangstasoI'
m ofnohelptohi
m..If
eel
so
drainedandusel
essyaz"
Hi
m:"
Tri
nal
i
que"
Me:
"mh"
Hi
m:"
li
stent
omev
erycar
eful
l
ynehmyf
ri
end"
Me:
"kay
"
Him:"taBeasti
sagangsta,wecan'
trunawayf rom
that
.Youont heotherhandarenot,
youdidn'
tev en
growupi ntheghett
oforheavenssake.Isuggest
youleavehim enzei
ntozakheandfocusony our sel
f
andy ourrel
ati
onshi
p"
Me:
"SosohowdoIf
ocusonmy
-"
Him:"
mydear ,l
ist
en.There'
snowayI 'mlet
ti
ngy ou
becomewhoy ou'
renotjusttopl
easeaman.I fta
Beastwantstobeonwarzonet henlethi
m be,phaaa
kudeleeeh!Aslongasyou'reokayandsafethenndi
grandmna"
Me:
"youdon'
tunder
standy
azmyf
ri
end"
Hi
m:"
Iunder
standv
erywel
l
.Justt
akeadeepbr
eat
h"

Iwi
pedmyt
ear
sandt
ookadeepbr
eat
h.
NowIknowwhycall
edSoso.
..He'
salwaysont
he
l
ookoutformyi
nter
estl
i
keallmysibl
ings.

Me:
"t
hanksnt
wana"
Hi
m:"
let
'sdol
atel
unchngomso,
I
'l
lcheery
ouup"
Me:
"you'
rei
nJozi
"?
Hi
m:"
nondi
zokuzangomsondi
khaphai
tai
ma"
Me:
"okaysur
e,I
'
llawai
tyourcal
l
"
Hi
m:"
lov
eyou,
keepy
ourheadhi
ghneh"
Me:
"t
hanksl
ovi
e"

Wehungup.
Aft
ertal
ki
ngtoSosoIjustl
aytheret
hinki
ng.
.Ithi
nkI
musthavedozedofff
orafewmi nut
escondivuke
sêkukhouSinoinmyroom Lolshewasjustsmil
ing
atme

Me:
"heey
"
Her
:"
arey
ousi
ckma"
?
Me:
"si
ck?Nobabaywhy
"?
Her:
"gr
annysay
sonlysi
ckpeopl
ear
eal
l
owedt
o
sl
eepduri
ngtheday
"
Me:
"oh.
..
noI
'
mjustt
ir
edt
hat
'
sal
lnana"
Her
:"
ooh,
buty
ouar
efi
neneh"
?
Me:
"I
'mv
eryf
ine.Ur
ightwena"
?
Her
:"
I'
mfi
net
oo.
..
Ijustmi
ssumakhul
umnamama"
Me:
"aawbaby
,comegi
mmeahug"

Isatupandwehugged
Her
:"
canwecal
lher
"?
Me:
"Idon'
thav
ehernumber
"
Her
:"canwecal
ldaddy
"?
Me:
"daddyi
sbusymyl
ove"
Her
:"Iwon'
ttakel
ong,
ndi
zocel
anj
einumbert
hen
ndi
bekeiphone"
Me:
"mmkay
"

Idi
aledhi
sphonendamnikat
henIwenttothe
bat
hroom..
.Asozendi
zi
phoxi
sengoNtandomna

Hi
m:"
S'bongi
l
ebendt
hecal
lmeaf
tert
hi-
"
Her
:"
andi
nguy
eI'
m sor
rydaddy
"
Hi
m:"
ohThando?Yi
ntonngxaki
pri
ncess"
Her
:"
akhongxaki
bendf
unai
numberkamakhul
uqha"
Hi
m:"
oh.
.i
sev
ery
thi
ngokay
"?
Her
:"
yesdaddy
"
Hi
m:"
okay
..
.I
'
llf
orwar
dthenumberngok-
ngok"
Her
:"
okayenkosi
..
.daddy
"?
Hi
m:"
babygi
rl
"?
Her:
"I
'm sor
ryi
fIdi
stur
bedy
ou,
umamaebet
shi
l
oba
ubusy"
Him:"
akhongxaki
mnt
anam,
ni
kaumamakhoi
phone
kengok"
Her
:"
umamausebat
hroom"
Hi
m:"
okay
,ni
sahl
eli
kak'
hl
enomamakho"
Her:
"ewebutIt
hinkshe'
ssi
ckkodwaut
hiakagul
i
yena"
Hi
m:"
whydoy
out
hinkshe'
ssi
ck"
?
Her
:"
okoebel
elenamhl
anj
e"
Him:
"mmh,di
dyout
alkt
ohercozImeanshecoul
d
beti
rednj
e"
Her:
"ut
shi
l
onayebutumakhul
ualwayssay
sonl
y
si
ckpeopl
ear
eall
owedtosleepemini
"
Hechuckl
ed.
Si
nogrewupsof ast
..
.i
zi
ntoazi
thet
hay
oev
ennow
zi
ndal
akunengqondoyakhe.

Hi
m:"
okaykeIgot
tagonow"
Her
:"
ngay
il
ibal
inumber
..
.ohnankumamaebuy
a"

Thenshepassedmet
hephone,
Isawt
hatusekhona
ndasabel
a

Me:
"hi
"
Hi
m:"
ushar
p"?
Me:
"I
'm goodwhat
'
sup"
Hi
m:"
Sinor
eckonsy
ou'
renotf
eel
i
ngf
ine"
Me:
"hayndi
grandmna"

Hi
m:"
usur
e"?
Me:
"I
'm sur
efondi
n"
Hi
m:"
shar
p,I
'
llf
orwar
dthenumberay
funay
o"
Me:
"sho"

Hehungup.
Thenhesentthenumber ,
IgaveSinondamshi y
a
ethet
hanomakhul uwakheIwentt ol
ookf oroneof
mysi st
ersnj
ejusttogetsomeposi ti
vevibes,
ndafi
kakukhouLi zzyeloungesoIturnedand
walkedbackcozIr eal
lydidn'
tneedheratti
tude
ngoku.Notnow.Nott oday .

Her
:"
Tee,
doy
ouhav
eami
nut
e"?
Me:
"no"
Her
:"
please.Ineedt
ospeakt
oyou,
al
one"

Isi
ghedandturnedbackndahl
alaphantsi
..
.Tosay
myheadwast hrobbi
ngwasanunder st
atement
.It
fel
tli
kei
tscr
ackinginhal
f.
Me:
"okay
,what
'
sup"
Her
:"
Iuhm,
Iwannaapol
ogi
zet
oyou"
Me:
"f
orwhat
"?
Her
:"
fi
rstl
etmeadmi
t,Ist
il
ldohav
eacr
ushony
our
man.
..
"

Lol
ndahl
eka:
vser
iousl
y?

Her:
"buti
tshar
mless.Iwoul
dnev
erbewi
th
hi
m,beli
eveme"
Me:
"sur
e"
Her:
"l
ook,Idon'tli
kethetensionbetweenusand
nowitisspreadingthroughouttheentir
efami
ly
.I
knowsomef amilymember sjusttol
erateme
becauseofMar cusbuty ouandEv ewer et
heonly
peopleIf
eltclosewith"
Iwasl
i
ket
otal
l
yconf
used.
Whati
sshesay
ing?Whatdoesshewant
?
Ij
ustwai
ted.
..
may
beuzodeat
het
he

Her:"
IknowIsteppedoutofl
i
neregardingy
our
rel
ati
onshipandever
ythi
ngel
se,
i
ncludingaft
ery
our
parentsdeat
h"

Isi
ghed.
..
agai
n:v

Me:"
wellIshouldt
hankyouf i
rst
,youhelpedmeina
way.Somethingsyousaidwererelev
antandaft
er
youpoint
edthem out,
Icorr
ectedthem andti
ght
ened
t
hosethatwer eal
readyi
ntact
"
Her
:"
oh.
..
"
Me:"
andIthi
nkifyoureal
lyar
esor
ryy
oushoul
dcal
l
Ev
et oo.
..
andKeri
sinceshe'
sher
e"
Her:
"Iwil
l,
Ijustwant
edtoapol
ogizet
oy ouf
ir
stcozI
knowy ouaregoingt
hroughadi
ff
icul
tti
mewi t
hyour
manbei
ngst
abbedandal
lthatst
uff
"
Me:
"mmkay
.Thanks"

Ndaphakama

Her
:"
soI
'
mfor
giv
en"
?
Me:
"j
ustcal
lther
estoft
hegi
rl
sLi
z"
Her
:"
fai
renough"

Ndamshi
ya.
[
10/
10,
19:
23]‪+27730692704‬:
#271

Iwasn'tf
eeli
ngwellnyhaniyaz.
..Mybodywas
heat
ingupandIwasn'tsur ewhetheri
tstheweat her
oryi
leheadacheorwhat ?
!ButbeingmeIj ustkept
mycool anddranktwoparacetamoltabl
ets
ndayopheka,
imissedthatnormali
ty.
Ev
ewal
kedi
n

Her
:"
babygi
rl
,we'
regoi
ng"
Me:
"youandwho"
?
Her
:"
meandBooboo"
Me:"
oh,
well
Iwon'
tsayI
'
m sur
pri
sed,
buty
oushoul
d
t
ell
Keri"
Her
:"
she'
sout
,butI
'
llt
exther
"
Me:
"shar
p"

Shewentupstair
sIcont
inuedcooki
ngmi
ndi
ngmy
ownbusiness,
theycamebackdownandIki
ssed
Boobahamba.
Iroast
edsometur
keyal
ongwi
thpot
atoes,
Sino
camet ogi
vememyphone

Her
:"
inamama"
Me:
"pl
schar
gei
t"
Her
:"
okay
,butumakhul
uwant
stospeakt
oyou"
Me:
"oh.
..
okay
..
.Hel
l
oma"
?
Ma:
"hel
l
onont
ombi
,unj
ani
sisi
"
Me:
"ndi
phi
l
il
emamaunj
ani
wena"
Ma:"
ndiphi
l
il
emnt anam, ndi
yanici
nganj
esisiqha
kubabendi
ngenayoi numberyakhonoNtando
akaf
umanekiefounininamhlanj
eandazikut
heni"
Me:"i
nobaubusymama,
yhouSi
nookoekhal
angawe
apha"
Ma:
"oohmnt
anomnt
anam.Yi
ntoy
ani
niuj
anuar
y"
Me:
"nouzozaazokubonabef
oreJanuar
y"
Ma:
"phi
namnt
anam i
ndl
uyam i
tshi
l
enj
e"
Ouch:
/

Me:
"ndi
yi
vi
lekel
ont
o"
Ma:"makal
indenexty
ear
,ut
atakheut
hembi
si
leba
uzozamaicebo"
Me:
"hewi
l
lma.Ihopet
hiswhol
ethi
ngdi
dn'
taf
fect
y
ourheal
thma"
Ma:"
haymntanam akhont
oibad,
kodwakei
biny
uki
l
e
nj
ekanci
nci
i hi
gh-
high"
Me:
"oohmama"
Ma:"don'
twor
ryyoursel
fmychi l
d,Iknowhowto
maintai
nmyhealthnoNt andoebengumntuozobuy
a
bef
or eXmasandi
sekwagqi r
ha"
Me:
"t
hat
'sagoodi
dea"
Ma:
"ewesi
si.
..
ey,
undphuzel
ekuOwe"
Me:
"okaymama,
byeby
e"
Ma:
"by
eby
esi
si"

Wehungup.
.
Iwasal
mostdonecooki
ng,if
eltsomewei r
d,shar
p
pai
nsonmylowerabdomen.Li
ket heonesIhad
whenIhadAUBandwhenIlostmybaby .
Iwasabouttodishupbutf oramomentIhadto
cl
utchthecounterf
orassistanceonst
andi
ng
up.
..
yhu!If
eltl
ikecryi
ngforr eal
.
Ker
i:
"mmh,
smel
l
sgood"

Ibli
nkedawayanyt earsandsmi
led,
shehel
pedme
dishupandt henweser v
edever
yone.Aswewere
eati
ng,Lukewalkedin

Hi
m:"
Any
onehome?Hel
l
ow"
?

LolIj
umpedoutofmyseatandwenttohughim
bef
oreanyoneel
se.ThenIwentt
odishupforhi
m
ashegreet
edevery
oneelseandwenttoshower
whi
leIwarmedhisfood

Hey ,
thesepainsweregrowingev enmor enow.I
coll
ectedthedishessinceIfeltbett
erwhenIwas
mov i
ngar ound,
thenIwenttoputmyf oodinthe
fr
idgeandaskedLaur ent obathmyki dsforme.I
wentt orunmy sel
fasaltedbat h,
thi
nki
ngmay bethe
painswi l
lsubsi
deifIj
ustsitinwar m water
.I
undressedandgoti nndakhendahl al
a...Cl
osingmy
eyes,dammi tthisthi
ngwasbey ondtheusual peri
od
pain.Ishedacoupl eoftear
s:'(Itookmyt imeand
eventuallygotoutofthewat erandwentt omy
room, gotdressedintracksuit
sandsneaker sthenI
satdownandcal l
edLukewhowasi nthesame
housewi thme: vsoundsabsur dhuh?

Him:
"you'
reki
ddi
ng,
you'
recal
l
ingmei
nst
eadof
comi
ngdown"?
Me:
"canyou.
..Pl
ease.
..Comet
omy
..
.pl
easeCome
t
omyr oom"
Hi
m:"
whoahwai
t,
youokay
"?
Me:
"I
'mf
ine.
..
justcomet
omyr
oom pl
s"
Hi
m:"
okay
"

Ihungup.
..
Hecameinamat
terofsecondsandhewasr
att
led
nj
ekanci
nci
Hi
m:"
what
'sgoi
ngonTee?Ar
eyoucr
ying"
?
Me:
"pr
omi
sey
ouwon'
ttel
lany
one"
Hi
m:"
fi
rstt
ell
mewhat
'
sgoi
ngon"
Me:
"j
ust
..
.pr
omi
se"
Hi
m:"
okayIpr
omi
se"
Me:
"it
hinkImi
ghtneedt
ogot
othehospi
tal
"
Hi
m:"
hospi
tal
?Youdon'
tl
ikehospi
tal
s"
Me:
"Iknow.
..
.Yho"
!

Itcamelikeav er
ysharppai
npier
cingthr
oughmy
i
nnerwomanhoodr ippi
ngmyuterusapar
t!Hedi
dn'
t
sayanythinghejusthel
pedmeupandwewent
downstairs,
lucki
lynoonenoti
cedaswewentout
andgotinhi scar
...
andhedrov
eawayt oJo'
bur
g
hospit
al.

Het
ookmei
n,
regi
ster
edandIwast
akent
oawar
d
whereadoctorexami
nedmet henputmeondr i
p
shereckonediwasdehy
drat
edandt henIwas
sedated.

Luu.
..
ohman.
Hekeptonpaci ngupanddownt hehallway
,hewent
tobuycof fee,
henappedinthecarbutwhenhe
coul dn'
tst
ayawayany morehecamebacki nandsat
nextt omybed.ButIwasdr ugged,coul
dn'
treal
l
y
hav eaconv er
sati
onwithhimrightnowandwhat
kickedhimt hemostwast hathepr omi
sedhewon't
tellanyoneandhedoesn'tnormall
ygoagainsthis
wor d.

Me:
"hey
,wakeup"

Ishookhimjustal
i
t t
leandheshotri
ghtupand
smiledatme,ey
esreddi
shsincehedidn'
treal
l
ysl
eep.

Hi
m:"
hey
,howy
ouf
eel
i
ngnow"
Me:
"numb,
youshoul
dgohome"
Hi
m:"
notbef
oreIknowwhat
'
swr
ongwi
thy
ou"
Me:
"mmkay
"

Ikeptqui
et
Nurseswalkedindoi
ngtheirroundsofbr
eakfastI
j
ustlookedatmineandlookedbackt omy
br
other,
helaughedLolIdi
dn'twannaeatthatmna

Hi
m:"
youbet
tereatupbef
oreadoct
orcomesi
n"
Me:
"butIdon-
"

Adoctorwal
kedi
nwi
thf
il
esandgr
eet
edus.Laqal
a
uv
alo

Her:
"mor
ning,
I'
m doct
orChet
ty.Howy
ouf
eel
i
ng
missSmit
h"
Me:
"bet
ter
"
Luu:
"cany
out
ell
what
'
swr
ongdoc"
?
Her:
"I
'mrunni
ngsomet est
ssi
r,i
needyout
oeatup
cozI'
l
lbetest
ingyourbl
oodanduri
ne"
Me:
"butI
'
m nothungr
y"
Her
:"
evenifyoudri
nkjui
ceandeatj
ustt
hatmuf
fi
n
mydearthatwil
lbefi
ne"
Me:
"oh-
kayt
hatIcando"
Her
:"
alr
ight
,I
'
llbebacki
nanhour
"
Me:
"t
hanksdoc"

Shel
eft
,Il
ookedatLuu

Me:
"Ihopey
oudi
dn'
tcal
lMar
cus"
Hi
m:"
nah,
eveni
fowant
edt
o,he'
sver
ybusy
"
Me:
"t
hanky
ou"
Him:"
nosweat,Ihav
etogohomeandbri
ngyou
changi
ngcl
othes.Whatel
sewi
ll
youneed"
?
Me:
"yoghur
t"
Hi
m:"
yourphones?Anyspeci
fi
cit
em may
be"
?
Me:"
okaymyphonesandt
oil
etr
ies.
..
Idon'
tknow
howlongI
'
llst
ayher
e."
Hi
m:"
I'
m hopi
ngnotf
orl
ongt
hough"
Me:"
yeahmetoo,
plsaskKer
itol
ookaf
terNt
ando'
s
ki
dsforme"
Hi
m:"
I'
m sur
eshewon'
tmi
ndsweet
y"

Heki
ssedmyf
oreheadandl
eft
Ilayonmybackandcl osedmyey es,
aft
erafew
mi nutesIgotupandwalkedmy selft
othebathr
oom.
That '
swhenInotedthatIwasbl eedi
ngexcessi
vel
y
yabonakengokIwasconf used..
.Whatthehelli
s
goingonwi thmenow?Yeer r
rr!Iwentbacktomy
bed

Aftersomet
imet
hedoct
orr
etur
nedandt
ooksome
tests.
..
Her:"
I'
llcal
lanurset ocomechangeyour
bedding,af
terthetestsyoucangoandbathwhi
l
e
theychanget hesheets"
Me:
"kay
"

Luuwal kedinasIwasabouttogoandbat hsoIjust

tookmyt hingsandaskedhi
mt owaitoutsi
de,I
wasn'tsureIwantedhimtoseethisbl
oodybed
uzophaphazelandamaz.Iwenttobathandputon
sanit
arypadsandchangedintoacleanpairof
j
oggingpant sal
ongwithsocksthenIgotinbedand
call
edLuuwangenawi thashoppingbag

Hi
m:"
hast
hedoct
orr
etur
ned"
?
Me:
"yeah,
butshe'
l
lcomebackagai
nwi
tht
est
s
r
esul
ts"
Hi
m:"
mmkay
,her
e'sy
oury
oghur
t"

It
ookt
hat1Lt
uboff
rui
tyoghur
tndat
ya.
..
Hi
m:"
arey
ougonnat
ell
him"
?
Me:
"It
hinkIshoul
dwai
tfort
her
esul
ts"
Hi
m:"
makessense"

Wesatther
ejustmaki
ngsmal
ltal
kthent
hedoct
or
cameback

Luu:
"doc,
whatdoy
ouhav
eforus"
?
Her:
"uhm,It
hinkI
'
dli
ket
odi
scusst
heser
esul
tsi
n
pr
ivate"

Luuwandi
j
onga

Me:
"noi
tsokay
,youcanspeak"
Her
:"
you'
resur
e"?
Me:
"yes,
he'
smybr
other
"
Her
:"
okay.
..Mi
ssSmithi
tlooksl
ikey ouar
ehav
ing
anepi
sodeofAbnor
malUterusBleeding"
Me:
"It
houghtasmuch"
Her
:"
butt
hetr
ickypar
tnowisthatyou'
repr
egnant
..
.
Whi
chputsy
ouandy ourchi
l
datrisk"

Icoul
dn'
tbel
i
evemyear
s.

Me:
"I
'm pr
egnant"
?
Her
:"y
esma'
am"

Icl
osedmyey
es.
Okay
,Luushoul
dn'
thav
ehear
dthatpar
t.

Luu:
"hey,
don'tst
ressabouti
t.Okay
,j
ustf
ocuson
gett
ingbett
er"
Me:
"Mar
csal
mydonereksê"
Luu:
"hysal
ver
staanmoeni
eoorhom wor
ryni
e"
Her:
"sonowwehavet
okeepyouf
orawhi
l
ecozwe
ar
est i
l
lrunni
ngaf
ewtest
s"
Luu:
"howl
ongi
sshe"
Her:
"we'
renotsur
easy
et,
wedi
dthet
est
sthr
ough
bl
ood"
Luu:
"okay
,thanksdoc"

Shesmi
ledandwal
kedout
..
.Ndi
zot
hini
kuNt
ando?
Hel
lno!

Icl
osedmyey
esandt
ookadeepbr
eat
h.

Me:
"Idon'
tknowwhyI
'
m soi
rr
esponsi
bley
azLuu"
Him:"
youcan'
tbeaty
our
sel
fnow,
what
'sdonei
s
done"

Idi
dn'
twannaopenmyey
esandseet
he
di
sappoi
ntmentwr
it
tenal
lov
erhi
sface.
[
10/
10,
19:
24]‪+27730692704‬:
#272

Nt
ando'
sPOV

I
nt hemorningweall
headedbacktot
hewar ehouse
thenIdi
videdthet
eam amongstt
hecapti
vesbut
Chuma,Yangaandhisgir
lf
ri
endwereminetodeal
with.

Me:"nowit
splayt
ime..
.Yanga,whydon'
tyout
ell
yourmaidwhatgotyoupeopleher
e"
Her
:"Yangawhathav
eyoudone?Whatt
hehel
li
s
goi
ngonhere"?
Him:
"babywe'
ll
bef i
ne.Peopl
ewil
lcomel
ooki
ngf
or
us,
don'
tworr
ysizophumaapha"
Her:
"peopl
e?Whichpeopl
eYanga?Don'
tyousee
bonkeabantuwhowouldhel
pyouareri
ghther
ewit
h
you"
?
Me:
"youshoul
dli
stent
oher
,she'
ssmar
t"
Hi
m:"
don'
tfuckent
ell
mewhatt
odowi
thmygi
rl
"

Isl
appedt
hel
i
ght
soutofhi
m.
Hi
sgi
rlscr
eamed.

Me:"
hehnyana,
watchy
ourt
one.OrI
'
llsmackt
he
demonoutofyou.
"
Her
:"bhuti
pleaseletmego,Ipr
omiseIwon'
tsay
any
thingtoany oneIcan'
tbeherenangomsoIhav
e
adoctorsappointment"
Me:"
that
'sy
ourpr
obl
em.
..
orwai
t,
that
'sYanga'
s
pr
oblem"
Hi
m:"
babysi
zophumaaphaj
ustbeaLi
lpat
ient
"
Me:"soYanga,
Ihopeyouti
eimpephoiny ourbal
l
s
cozngokuuzodingai
zi
nyanyazakhoukuzeuphume
usaphil
aapha"
Hi
m:"y
oudon'tknowwhoy
ou'
remessi
ngwi
th,
I
'm
t
ell
i
ngy ou"

Itookasharpbladeandcuthistrouser
sfrom t
he
thi
ghdownt henIcuthi
sthi
gh,curvingBonbothof
them hest
if
fenedhimsel
fholdingbackhistear
s

Me:"Ihaveal
ltheti
meintheworldandIneverr
eal
ly
hadt oy
sasachi l
dsoIenjoypl
ayinggrownuptoy
s.
So,
ar eyougonnatal
koryouarejustgonnaenj
oythe
tor
ture"?
Hi
m:"
whatdoy
ouwantf
rom me"
?

Itookbothhisfeetandbindthem wi
thwi r
e.It
ook
theaweldi
nggasandbur ntt
hewire.
..
li
steni
ngtohi
s
agonybroughtsuchpeacei nmyheart.WhenIwas
doneIletgoofhim whenIsawsomewhi t
efat
showingaroundhisanklesthenIwenttoChuma

Her
:"Nt
andopl
ease,
I
'm beggi
ngy
ou"
Me:
"Chust
a!Awy
eki
nobamhl
eyaz"
Her
:"
pleaset
orhodon'
tdot
his"

Isatdowni
nfr
ontofherandl
ookedherst
rai
ghti
n
theeye

Me:
"I
'm gonnat
ort
urey
ousomuchy
ou'
dwi
shy
ou
wer
en'
tmybabymomma"
Her
:"
Ntando"
Me:
"I
'm wai
ti
ngf
orafriend,
he'sgonnat
akeouty
our
wombhoneyandlety
oueati traw"
Yanga:
"you'
ret
hedev
ilhi
msel
f"
Me:
"you'
reor
der
ingy
ourownbal
l
sinasi
l
verpl
att
er
myboy"

Il
ookedatChumai
ndi
sgust
.

Me:
"uzondazi
namhl
anj
e"
Her
:"
I'
m sor
r-
"

Isl
appedherwaphumai
gazingeempuml
o.
Ndamshiy
aandtookadri
ve.
[
10/
10,
19:
24]‪+27730692704‬:
#273

Lukesatt
her
ewi
thme
All
Iwast hi
nkingi
phel
ekudalowit
hirt
yminut
es,
li
ke
i
zoloeven,kodwaumntanakaNtabenidi
dn'
tbot
her
tocal
l.Nam kendi
zomy eka.

Me:
"di
dn'
tKer
iaskaboutme"
Hi
m:"
Itol
dhery
ouhadanemer
gencyt
oleav
etown"
Me:
"t
hanks"
Him:
"nowthatweknowwhat
'
sthepr
obl
em,
Ithi
nk
youshoul
dtel
lNtando"
Me:
"Idon'
twannadi
stur
bhi
m"
Hi
m:"
baby
,Iknowy
oudon'
twannat
ell
him,
i
ts
wri
tt
enal
lovery
ourfaceri
ghtnow.ButI'
vehadmy
f
areshar
eofwhatsecret
scandoinar el
ati
onshi
p"

Ikeptqui
et
Iknewwhathewast
alki
ngabout
.

DrChet
tyr
etur
nedIsatupandwai
ted.

Her
:"
MissSmi
th,
howy
ouf
eel
i
ng"
Me:
"asexpect
ed.What
snewdoc"
Her:"
asIsaidbeforethatyouandyourchi
ldareat
higherri
skwiththi
sAUB. .
.Imustt
ellyouthati
fyour
pregnancydoescarryouttosixmonths,
wewi l
lhave
todoac- sect
ionony ou"
Me:
"si
xmont
hs?That
'
sapr
em doc"
Luu:
"youmeani
tcoul
dnotev
engoupt
osi
x
months"?
Her
:"
possi
ble.
..
itwi
l
lbebet
tert
hatway
,cozt
her
ear
e
afewotherconcer
nsnow.Fr
om t
het
est
sI'
vedone
earl
i
ert
oday"
Luu:
"ot
herconcer
ns?Li
kewhat
"?
Her:"
from y ourfi
l
eIgat heredy oul
ostababy
before..
.youruteruswasi njur
edduringt
hatinci
dent
andIhav ereasontobel i
eveitwon'tbeabletocarr
y
outtoni nemont hsful
l.Ev enthesi
xmont hswillbea
bl
essing"
Luu:
"docwhatdoesal
loft
hismean"
Me:"i
tmeansIwon'
tbeabl
etocarr
ythi
sbabyLuu,
I
mightloosei
tev
enbef
oreIcanhol
ditwi
thmy
ar
ms"
Her:
"t
hatisthesadreali
tywe'
refacingri
ghtnow..
.
Andbecauseofthat,
wecan'tdischargeyouyet
.We'l
l
havetokeepyouundersupervi
sionandseeal l
possi
bil
i
tiesofassi
stance"

Icl
osedmyey
es.
NowthatChumabit
chhadtopay!I
fitwasn'
tforher
Iwoul
dn'
tbeint
hisshi
tri
ghtnow.
Me:
"t
hanksdoc"

Shesignedsomethi
ngandcheckedmydr
ipt
hen
l
eft
..
.Ikeptmyeyesclosed.

Luu:
"I
'l
ll
eav
eyout
orest
"
Me:
"t
hanks"

Hewal
kedout
.
Itookmyphoneandcal
ledNtandocozIknewhe'
l
l
fi
ndoutanywaysobet
teryethefi
ndsoutfr
om me

Hi
m:"
S'bongi
l
e"

YazuNt andouvel
enjeawenzeupheletu
umdla,
ngokubendingenawoatallbutshamei
ndl
ela
yakheyosabel
aiphonemv anj
e:/
Me:
"heyuhm,
IhopeI
'
m notdi
stur
bingy
ou"
Hi
m:"
I'
m onmywayt
othewar
ehouse.What
'sup"
Me:
"Ineedt
otal
ktoy
ouwheny
ouhav
eti
me"
Hi
m:"
siy
athet
hanj
engoku"
Me:"
thi
sisqui
tei
mportantbabendcel
anj
ewheny
ou
hav
et i
meundi
founel
esithet
he"
Him:
"i
fizof
unandizeeJo'
bur
glent
oi i
mportantt
hen
nowisnotther
ightti
mekeuyaznj
elonto"
Me:
"Ineversai
dizaeJo'
burgI
'mj
ustaski
ngf
ora
f
ewmi nutesofyourt
imet
hat'
sal
l
"
Hi
m:"
I'
mjustput
ti
ngi
toutt
her
eandi
thi
utshonam"
Me:
"kay
"
Hi
m:"
shar
p"

Ihungup.
WhatwasIexpect
ingkanene?
[
10/
10,
19:
24]‪+27730692704‬:
#274
Nt
ando'
sPOV

Ij
usttookadr
iveandcamebackwi
thLar
ry,
my
fr
iend.

Me:"
LaChusta!MeetLarr
y,he'
sthesurgeonIwas
t
ell
i
ngy ouabout.Lar
ryhere'
sapatient"
Her
:"
you'
reapi
gNt
ando"
!

Shetr
iedspi
tt
ingonme,
Iwasadi
stanceawayf
rom
her
.

Me:
"makey
our
sel
fathomeLar
ry"
Hi
m:"
shar
p"
Heopenedhisbri
efcaseandsethist ool
spoli
shi
ng
t
hem..
.Hewasn'treall
ygonnat akeoutherwombI
j
ustwantedanswersfrom hersoIjustpull
edachai
r
andcr
ossedmyl
egsr
ightacr
ossher

Me:
"so,
ist
her
eany
thi
ngy
ou'
dli
ket
otel
lme"
?
Her:
"whatwil
lyout
ell
ourson?Uzobuzaumamakhe
uzot
hinikuy
e"?
Me:"
that
'snott
heanswerI'
mlookingf
or.
..
ormaybe
youneedaLilmot
ivat
ion?Lar
ryhowfarar
eyou"
?
Hi
m:"
almostdone"
Her:"
okayokay,pl
swaitI'
l
ltel
lyouwhat
every
ouneed
toknow.Please,j
ustdon'
thurtmeanymoret
hanyou
alr
eadyhave"
Me:
"I
'm wai
ti
ng"
Her:
"okayuhm...Ibrokei
ntoy
ourhouse,openedgas
andburntyourkit
chendown,IpushedTr
inadown
thestai
rscozbabyIknewshecamet otakey ou
awayf r
om me.Fr om myson"
Hi
m:"
goon"
Her
:"Iknewshewaspregnantsot
heonl
ywayto
hav
emysonast heonl
yheirwast
odowhatIdi
d,
I
'm sor
ryifIhurtyoubutIwasdoi
ngi
tfor
Owentando'sfutur
e"
Hi
m:"you'
reunbel
iev
abl
e,whatki
ndawomanar
eyou?
Huh?Doy ounothaveahear
tChuma"?
Her
:"
Isai
dIwassor
ry"
Me:
"sor
ry?Mh,
I
'l
lshowy
ouwhat
'ssor
ry"

Igotupandwentt
othet
abl
e,It
ookat
hinbl
adeand
walkedupt
oher

Me:
"sowhi
chpar
tshoul
dIcutf
ir
st"
?
Her
:"
babypl
ease.
..
"
Me:"baby?Youkil
l
edmybabyandnowyouhav
ethe
audacit
ytocall
MEbaby?UmuncuyazChuma!
Udom"

Ipull
edthebl
adeonthelef
tsi
deofherface,
fr
om the
templedowntothechi
nandasmuchasshe
screamedinpai
n,t
hebl
oodoozedoutl
ikeaspringin
t
hedeser
t.

Me:"y
oubett
erenj
oythi
sti
meI
'
m spendi
ngwi
thy
ou
honey,
cozi
tsthel
ast
"
Her
:"
Ihat
eyou.
..
.I.
..Fucken.
..Hat
eyou"
Me:
"Iabhory
oubuty
oual
readyknowt
hat
"

Iducktapedherandwentt
ocheckoutt
her
estoft
he
gents.

Me:
"Pol
o,deal
wit
hChuma"
Hi
m:"
ohThanky
ouLor
d"!
Me:
"Ranger
,Thr
il
ler
..
.TakeYangaandhi
sgi
rl
fr
iend"

Her:
"bhuti
please,
I
'm beggi
ngy
ou.Ihav
eadoct
ors
appoint
menttomor r
ow"
Yanga:
"uy
agul
anawena"
Her
:"
I'
mfuckenPREGNANTYanga!I
'
m pr
egnantand
Ineedt
oseemyGPt
omor
rowokay
"?
hi
m:"
you'
repr
egnant
?when?whydi
dn'
tyout
ell
me"
?
her:
"t
ell
youwhen?y ou'
renev
erhomekalokul
ibel
e
baungusthubenil
ooki
ngfortr
oubl
e?kal
okyouthi
nk
you'
reanOG?j ongakeubuOGbakhobusif
akephi
Yanga"

Me:"
mmh...Nowthi
ngsjustgoti
nterest
ingi
nhere
huh?Lemmeleav
ey oukidstopl
ay,I
'
m donehere"

Itookmycarkeysandlef
tthem ther
e..
.Iwenttothe
beachandjustsatt
her
ewat chi
ngthewav esata
di
stance.
[
10/
10,
19:
24]‪+27730692704‬:
#275

Ilayinthatbedfort
hreeconsecuti
vedaysyetever
y
ti
met hedoctorcamei nshewouldgivemenews
varyi
ngf r
om badtowor se.AndIhadnochoicebut
tojustaccepti
tandwai tonfort
henextworsenews
-_
-
Ont
hef
our
thdayLuucamei
nthemor
ning

Hi
m:"
howy
ouf
eel
i
ng"
Me:
"Iwannagohome,
Ihat
ethi
spl
ace"
Hi
m:"j
ustf
ocusonget
ti
ngbet
ter
,soonI
'
m sur
ethey
'l
l
di
schar
geyou"
Me:"
howdoIfocusongett
ingbet
terwheneachand
ever
ytimet
hedoctorwal
ksinshetel
l
smemor ebad
news"?

Het
ouchedmyhandandsmi
l
ed

Hi
m:"Ihav
et otel
lever
yoneathome,wecan'tkeep
t
hisasecretforl
ong.Ihopeyouunder
stand"
Me:
"Ir
eal
l
ydon'
tcar
eany
mor
ewet
huLuu"
Him:
"youhaveafamilyTee,
andyoumustknowt
hat
youhaveourful
lsuppor
tatall
times"
Me:
"br
ingmet
heki
dswheny
oucomeback"
Hi
m:"
sur
e,not
hingel
se"
?
Me:
"mar
shmal
l
ows,
roast
edpl
s"
Hi
m:"
nomeatory
oghur
t"
?
Me:
"nah,
Idon'
tfeel
li
keeat
ingmeatatal
l
"
Hi
m:"
frui
t"

YhouLukeBawo!

Me:
"Luu,
plsst
opst
ressi
ng"
Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
ry"
Me:
"i
tscool
,
I'
m notdy
ing.
..
I'
mjusti
nahospi
tal
bed"

Heki
ssedmyf
oreheadandl
eft
.
Il
aythere.
..
Iwasn'
tgonnacal
lNt
andoagai
n.I
'
mi n
nomoody ophoxwamnasowheneverhehasthe
chancehewill
call
me.
.
.

Thedoct
orr
etur
ned

Her
:"
feel
i
nganybet
ter
"?
Me:
"j
ustt
ir
ed,
Imeantt
oasky
ousomet
hing"
Her
:"
okay
,whati
sit
"?
Me:"
yousai
dmyuter
uswasi
njur
ed,
butdoesn'
ta
chi
l
dgrowinthewomb"
?

Shet
ookadeepbr
eat
handcamecl
oser
..
.

Her:
"missSmit
h,Ihaveyourbesti
nterest
sathear
t,
I
wannahelpyou.Andri
ghtnowIcamet otel
lyout
hat
youmightneedtodoascan,wesuspectthatyour
babyisgrowi
nginatubeinst
eadoft hewomb"
Myj
awdr
opped!

Me:
"nowI
'
vehear
sital
l
!
Her:
"we'
renotsur
eyet,
that
'swhywehav
etot
ake
youtothescanandbesure"

Li
ker
eal
l
y?
What '
snext
?I'
ll
havetogotoTheatr
eandr emove
thefeotuscozakhont
oinokhul
akwitubeunlessy
i
cancer!

Her
:"
I'
m sor
ry"
Me:
"i
tscool
"
Her:
"anursewi
l
lcomeandr
efi
l
lyourdr
ipi
naf
ew
minutes"
Me:
"t
hanks"
Shel
eft
.
Icri
ed.Alot
.Icr
ied,
myhear
tout
..
.Idi
dn'
thav
e
str
engthanymore,
li
keI
'
vehadi
t.
[
10/
10,
19:
25]‪+27730692704‬:
#276

Agai
nItr
iedNt
andowit
houtanysuccesssoIgav
e
hi
m hi
sspace.
..
maybeheneededi
t.

Luubr oughtSinoandherbr ot
her,Keriandher
son..
.apparentl
yLizhadl eftbutEvewast oldshe
wasgonnacomel at
er,oneper sontheydidn'
ttel
l
wasMar cus.Keri
onlysai dafewwor dsbutshe
spental otofti
mei nthedoct orsoffi
ce

Owe:
"si
siut
heni
"?
Me:
"I
'm notf
eel
i
ngwel
lboy
"
Si
no:
"butngal
ami
nimamay
ousai
dyou'
reokay
"
Owe:
"ohSi
no,
khay
ekeut
het
hai
pastt
ensenawe"
Me:
"Owe,
ha.
a"
Owe:
"unj
enauSi
nosi
si,
phofuy
amaznawe"

Si
nolayherheadonme, Owejustsatnexttome...
I
wasbleedi
nginside.Myhear
twasshat t
eredthatI
mightnotbeabletohavemyownchi l
d.Ev er
.

Me:
"uhm guy
s,Ineedt
orest
"
Luu:
"comedownguy
s,l
et'
sgi
vemamaat
imet
orest
"

Theyki
ssedmeonbot
hcheekst
hengotof
fthebed

Luu:
"we'
l
lcomebackl
ater
"
Me:
"t
hanks"

Hehuggedmeandl
eft
.
.
..

Istayedatt
hehospit
alfortwoweekst henwas
dischar
ged.Ev
eandKer icamet ofet
chme,shewas
evensupposedtohavereturnedbacktoher
husbandbutshecouldn'
t.Becauseofme.

WhenIwasdi schargedatl
eastthepainsand
excessiv
eext ernal
bleedi
ngbleedinghad
stopped,
butany wayIhadtot akethi
ngsslowand
easyndicingelanenesi
qusam.

For
tunat
ely,t
hebabywasint
hewomb...
nott
het
ube
soasyettherewasnoneedf
oroper
ati
ons.
Ir
anmy sel
fabathandsoakedmy
sel
fint
her
eand
cr
ied.
..ThenIheardaknock

Me:
"i
tsopen"
Evewalkedi
nandsatonthet
oil
etseat
,shel
ooked
l
ikeshewasalsocr
ying

Me:
"youwer
ecr
ying"
Her
:"
I'
m wor
ri
edabouty
ou"
Me:
"I
'l
lbef
ine.Iuhm,
Ineedaf
avorf
rom y
ou"
Her
:"
okay
"
Me:"
Iki
ndaf oundoutthatt
here'sapossi
bil
i
tymy
dadcouldbeaconv i
ct.
..
soI'
dlikeyoutoaccompany
metov i
sithi
m"
Her
:"
oh-
kay
,nopr
o'm.When"
?
Me:"
itwi
l
lhav
etobet
hisweekbutI
'
llcal
lMr
sTi
tus
f
ir
st"
Her
:"ar
eyouyou'
l
lbeabl
etohandl
ewhat
evert
he
out
comes"?
Me:
"Idon'
thav
eachoi
ceEv
e"
Her
:"
whatdoyoumeanyoudon'
thaveachoice?
We'
reher
e,we'
ref
ami
lyandwesupporteachother
"
Me:"
until
when?Inaf ewweekst i
meLuui sgett
ing
marri
edhedoesn'tknowhe'sreall
astname.Only
Marcknowshe'srealfami
lybutthathasn'
tchanged
any
thing,
hest
il
llovesusli
kehisbiologi
calsi
bli
ngs"

Shewi
pedat
earaway
..
.

Her:
"I
'm sorr
y..
.Ijust.
..If
oundmyownbiologi
cal
par
entsev enbeforewewentf ort
heki
tchenpart
y
andtheywantnot hingtodowithme"
Me:
"what
?Why
"?
Shechuckl
ed.
..

Her:
"t
heysaidtheywereinthei
rri
ghtmi
ndswhen
t
heygavemeupf oradopti
onsoImustn'
tcomeand
r
uinthei
rli
vesblahblahbl
ah"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Her
:"
it
sokay
"
Me:
"Ir
eal
l
yam,
atl
easty
ougott
oseet
hem.
..
nowy
ou
mov eonwi
thl
i
fe,
andl
i
key
ousai
dwe'
reaf
ami
l
y
al
ready"
Her:
"yeah.Enoughaboutme,
backt
oyou.I
'
llcome
wit
hy ou"
Me:
"t
hankshey
"

Igotoutofthewaterandwr appedacleantowel
aroundmybodyt henIdrai
nedt hewaterandwe
fol
lowedeachothertomyr oom, wesatnextt
oeach
otherwat
chingoursel
vesint hemirr
or

Her
:"
didy
out
ell
him"
Me:
"he'
sbusy
"
Her
:"
sohedoesn'
tknow"
Me:
"no"
Her
:"
hedoesn'
tknowt
haty
ouwer
einhospi
tal
fora
l
ongti
me"
Me:
"Idon'
tknow,
butIdi
dn'
ttel
lhi
m"
Her
:"
yho"

Wejustsatt
here,whenIgott
ir
edIjustgotupand
gotdr
essed.
..ThenSinocamerunningwit
hmy
phone:
/Idon'tknowifunant
onikuye

Her
:"
daddywant
stospeakt
oyou"
Me:
"t
hankssi
si.
..
hel
l
o"
Hi
m:"
hey
..
.unj
ani
"
Me:
"I
'm okay
,wena"
?
Hi
m:"
I'
m good.Pl
easepackf
ort
hekidsI
'm comi
ng
ov
er,
taki
ngthem t
oDurbannomakhul
uwabo"
Me:
"sur
e"
Hi
m:"
thanks"
Me:
"shar
p"

Hehungup.
Il
ookedatt
hephoneant
henaskedEv
etohel
pme
aswewentt opackfort
heseki
ds.Then
ndabanxi
bisaandt
heywenttowaitdownst
air
s

Mnandabuy elaeroominyam ndangqengqa, Iwasn'

t
real
lyhungr ybutIhadmyy oghur
tandt wobananas
nexttomybed, Evehadbr oughtmechocol atesoas
IlaythereIjusttookapieceandsav oredthe
taste,
closedmyey esandforgotabouteverythi
ng
andev eryone.

Myphoner
ang.
..Lwandi
so

Me:
"hel
l
o"
Hi
m:"
hey
,ushar
p"
Me:
"keshar
pyou"
Hi
m:"
keshar
p..
.Youknowy
oust
oodmeup?
"
Me:
"when"
?
Him:"
uyagul
a!Twoweeksagowhenwewer e
supposedtohavel
atel
unch,
ndakuf
ounel
a
ndancamandancama"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryman,
Iwasj
utpr
eoccupi
ed"
Hi
m:"mmh..
.usureuri
ghtnaf
ondi
n,
I'
m get
ti
ngwei
rd
vi
besfr
om y
our i
ghtnow"
Me:
"ndi
shar
pnt
wanaI
'
mjustt
ir
edIguess"
Hi
m:"heyhaysanandi
yakrokr
akul
oforev
ertir
ed
wakhomandiphi
ndendizaphomosungatshonje"

Ismi
l
ed.
..

Me:
"uzandphat
hel
ant
oni
xauzay
o"
Hi
m:"
uyay
az.
..
uzohl
ekanobaawf
uni
"
Me:
"Iknow"
Hi
m:"
khawr
est
ekel
ovi
e"
Me:
"ndi
zamal
ont
omnt
akadad"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
cal
lyouagai
nint
heev
eni
ng"
Me:
"hol
l
eratLi
ndof
orme"
Hi
m:"
nopr
o'm"

Wehungup.
..
Iheardsomeonewalkingtowar dsmyr oom andI
j
ustknewnguNt ando.Hisscentj ustfi
lledtheroom
andtomaket hi
ngswor se,
Sinodi dn'
tcloset hedoor
whenhadbroughtthephone, Ialsodidn'tcl
osei t
aft
erIwenttopackforthem soIwasn' treal
ly
surpr
isedwhenhejustwalkedi n..
.wit
hconf idence

Hi
m:"
heybeaut
if
ul"
If
akedasmi
l
e,butdi
dn'
tgetupf
rom t
hebed

Me:
"hey
"

Hesatdownnextt
omeandl ookednextt
omy
bed.
..
themedswer
ether
e,t
hefood..
.
Hel
ookedbackatmequi
zzi
cal
lybutIwasn'
tgonna
j
umpfrhi
m,hewil
lhav
etoaskndi
zomphendula
accor
dingl
y

Hi
m:"
uhm,
ugr
and"
?
Me:
"yeah,
bet
tert
hant
hel
astt
ime"
Hi
m:"
youl
ookpal
e..
.wor
nev
en"
Me:
"hm"
Him:"
ifImayask,
what
'st
hismedi
ci
nef
or?Or
ngakabani
"
Me:
"ngawam"
Hi
m:"
you'
resi
ck"
?
Me:
"Iuhm.
..No.Yes.Mxm.NoI
'
m notsi
ckwet
hu"
Hi
m:"
ndi
zov
aey
iphi
kengok"
Me:
"I
'm notsi
ck"
Him:"
butyouhav
emedicat
ionandyogur
tsnextt
o
yourbedwhil
eever
yoneel
seisdownst
air
s"

Iswall
owedhardandjustcl
osedmyeyesf
ora
second.Thi
sheadachewasn'tr
eal
l
ybudgi
ngatal
l
huh.

Hi
m:"
S'bongi
l
e"?
Me:
"mh"
Hi
m:"whatar
eyoukeepi
ngfrom me?Ngamay
eza
want
onimahnlanaxausi
thi
awuguli
"?

Hehsana!
:
o
Me:
"geez.Ihadanot
heroneoft
hoseAUBepi
sodes"
Hi
m:"
thatbl
eedi
ngt
hing"
?
Me:
"yes"
Hi
m:"
had?Whenwast
hat
"?
Me:
"pastt
woweeks.
..Iuhm,
Iwashospi
tal
i
zed"
Hi
m:"
andIwasn'
ttol
dwhy
"?

Ij
ustst
aredathi
m
Howt
hehel
lam Isupposedt
oanswert
hat
?
[
10/
10,
19:
25]‪+27730692704‬:
#277

Hi
m:"
S'bongi
l
e"
Me:
"mh"
Hi
m:"
kut
henkungonandi
yi
vay
omnal
ent
o"
Me:
"hai
boNtando,
whatdi
dyouexpectt
odo?Ev
ery
t
imeIcall
edyouubusymos"
Hi
m:"
bekunani
keungabhal
ii
smsmaybe?Leav
e
What
sAppmessageorsomethi
ng"
Me:"Idi
dn'
tthi
nkitwouldcometot
hat,
Itooky
our
wordandwai t
edforyoutocal
lmexaunechance
butIguessyouneverreal
l
yhadone"

Wakhewat
hul
a..
.
Myphoner
ang.
..MakaLwandi
so

Me:
"hel
l
o"
Her
:"
hi,
unj
ani
sisi
"
Me:
"I
'm goodwena"
Her:
"I
'm gr
eat
,thi
sweekendI
'
llbev
isi
ti
ngy
our
f
ather"
Me:
"oh"
Her
:"
soify
ou'
reinter
estedIcansendSosoandt
he
PJtocomeanfetchyou"
Me:
"okay
..
.canIt
hinkabouti
t"
?
Her:
"nopr
oblem,pl
sgetbackt
omebef
oreFr
idayt
o
ar
rangewit
ht hepi
lot
"
Me:
"okayt
hanks"
Her
:"
hav
eagoodday
"
Me:
"yout
oo"

Wehungup
Yhoy
eny
ekanenel
e,
andakay
aznay
ouNt
ando?
Mxm.
Hi
m:"
howy
ouf
eel
i
ngnow"
?
Me:
"I
'm okay
"
Hi
m:"
baby
"
Me:
"ndi
rightNt
ando"
Hi
m:"
ndi
kuv
il
ekal
oksundshout
a..
."

Igotupandwenttothebat
hroom ndabuy
aef unda
amayezawama-_-Igoti
nbedagainndaml i
nda

Hi
m:"
sot
hisAUB,
incedway
int
on"
?
Me:
"Idon'
tknow"
Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
ry"
Me:
"Iunder
stand,
don'
tbe"

It
ookadeepbr
eat
h,l
ooki
ngdownatmynai
l
s

Me:
"I
'm pr
egnant"
Hel
ookedatmei
ndi
sbel
i
ef

Hi
m:"
you'
rej
oki
ng"
Me:
"Iwi
sh"
Hi
m:"
user
ious?Wow!Congr
ats"

Hehuggedme,Idi
dn'
t.
..Andt
hatmusthav
egi
ven
hi
m morequesti
ons

Hi
m:"
you'
renotashappy
"?
Me:
"no"
Hi
m:"IIknowitunpl
annedandmay bewoyi
ka
br
otherszakhobutwe'
llgett
hrought
hist
oget
her
,I
pr
omise"
Me:
"Imi
ghtnotcar
ryoutf
ull
ter
m"
Hi
m:"
heh"
?
Me:"
myuterusgoti
njur
edwhenIl
ostJuni
or,
the
doct
orsai
dImightneedanoper
ati
onwhenIreach
sixmonths.
..
that
'
sifI
'
m bl
essedenought
oev
en
reachi
t"
Hi
m:"
yho"

Yeah
Yho!

Him:"
sowhatneedst
obedone,
forbaat
leastuf
ike
kul
esixmonths"
Me:
"Idon'
tknow.
..
"
Hi
m:"
weneedt
oseeagy
naecol
ogi
st"
Me:
"mmh"

Wesati
nthatsil
ence,
Mocal
l
edwat
hit
heyshoul
d
goi
mozului
yatshi
ntsha.

Hi
m:"
I'
ll
beback,
ngomso"
Me:
"kay
"
Heki
ssedmyf
orehead.
..Andl
eft
.

Aft
erhelef
tIgotupandsearchedformybox,the
onetheSmithsgav
emebef oretheypassedon.
Iopenedi tandl ookedatt heitemsi nside,i
tsso
surpri
singt hatwhenmymom passedawayIwas
tol
dnoneofherr elati
veswer efoundbl ahbl ahblah
butinthesepi cturesIsawmymom, aBongani anda
Bonginkosi andi naf ewpictureswhi chmusthav e
beenfami lypicturesIsaway oungFai t
h..
.Sot his
couldbet rue.Hecoul dbeherbr ot
herandmydad.
Butsurprisingly
, t
herewasn' tonepict urewher emy
parentswer etoget her.
..
li
ke,ukhubonemanxa
abantubet handana?Theyt akepicturest ogetherbut
bekungekhoneny e

Icl
osedtheboxandputi
tundermybedt
henIwent
downst
airsandsatwi
thmysist
ers
Me:
"wher
e'smybr
other
"?
Ev
e:"
eshe!Hewentt
obuyf
ood"
Me:
"buyf
ood"
?
Ker
i:
"she'
sjoki
nghewentt
oseehi
sfi
ance"
Me:
"ooh"
Ker
i:
"howy
ouf
eel
i
ng"
?
Me:
"bet
ter
"

Shewenttodishupdinnerandwemadealighty
et
posi
ti
veconversat
ion,
diver
ti
ngthef
ocusf
rom to
somethi
ngel
se.
[
10/
10,
19:
25]‪+27730692704‬:
#278

Wehadourlaughs:
vremember
ingt
het
ensi
onwe
hadwhi
l
eLizzywashere

Keri
:"
guysI'
m sorr
ytojustspl
ashthi
sony
'al
l
especi
all
ywithTeenotbeingokay
"
Ev
e:"
whati
sit
"?
Ker
i:
"t
omor
rowI
'
mret
urni
nghome"
Ev
e:"
yho"
Me:
"i
tsunder
standabl
e,you'
vebeenheref
oral
ong
t
imeI'
m sur
eJoemi sseshissontoo"
Ker
i:
"yeahhey
,butI
'
llcheckupony
ouguy
s"
Me:
"don'
twor
ryaboutuswe'
l
lbef
ine,
andbesi
des,
we'
l
lseeyousoon"
Ev
e:"
Luke'
sweddi
ngi
sar
oundt
hecor
ner
"
Keri
:"
yep,
Ij
ustwishheget
smar
ri
edi
nELi
behad
enoughofLi
zard"

Yhosaphel
ayi
ntsi
ni!

Me:
"di
dyouj
ustsayLi
zar
d?Ohgawd"
Ev
e:"
sor
rydear
,he'
l
lgetmar
ri
edher
e"
Ker
i:
"It
houghtso,
i
tsmor
econv
eni
ent"
Sancokol
anjeeaft
erwehadsuppert henwe
depart
edtoourrooms,Itookabathandwor ewarm
PJs,
somehowIwascol d.Igotonbed,
drankthepi
ll
s
andthentr
iedtosleep.
..Iwantedt
oforgetabout
ever
ythi
ng.Buthowdoy ou?

AsIwasdr if
ti
ngof f
..
.Ntandocal
led:'
(Iwasn'treal
ly
i
nt hemoodsoIj ustputthephoneonsilentndalal
a.
Iknewhe'salsowor r
iedoruzobeecel
aamaxol o
may be,
fornotbei
ngt her
ebutheyI'
m overit.I
'
vegot
biggerf
ishtofry.

Afewmi nutespastmidni
ghtIj
olt
edupandcl utched
mylowerabdomeni npain.
..
dammitIsweargivena
chanceandascissorI'
dremovethisshi
tifIcould.
Iy
andbulal
astrai
ght!

Asthepai nwasslowlysubsidi
ngmyphonewas
vi
bratingunderthesecondpill
owonmybed, Ipi
cked
i
tup...May beIwantedtobecomf ortedandazbutI
di
dn'tevencheckwho' sthecall
er,
theinst
incttol
d
menguNt
andophof

Me:
"mh"
?
Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
ryi
fIwokey
ouup"
Me:
"hm"
Hi
m:"
hey
,ushar
p"?

It
ookadeepbr
eat
h,noIt
ookt
wodeepbr
eat
hs.

Me:
"yeah"
Hi
m:"
ndcel
aundenzel
eif
avor
"
Me:
"ey
int
oni
"?
Hi
m:"
obuy
akwam ndcel
asi
yeendl
i
nisobabi
ni"
Me:
"Idon'
tthi
nkt
hat
'
sagoodi
dea"
Hi
m:"
hai
bof
ondi
n"
Me:
"babypl
s"
Hi
m:"
butI
'
mtr
yingher
ewhycan'
tyouj
u-"
Me:
"Nt
ando"
!!
!!
!
Hi
m:"heh"
?

It
ookamoment
..
.

Hi
m:"
heh"
?
Me:"
Iunderst
andwhaty
ou'r
edoingbutplease,
okwangokundcel
aubal
aphaekhaya.Pl
s"
Hi
m:"kengokndi
zokwazel
aphimnaxaudi
ngai
nto?
Xauphindeawabi
khori
ght?"
Me:
"undazel
ephi
ngokubabendi
ngekhor
ightkant
i"
?
Him:
"kal
okngokundifunaubahandson
ndi
ngali
ndel
iphonecall
,Iwannabet
her
efory
ou"
Me:"
whathappenswheny ougetacallf
rom CT
kuf
unekeuhamberightatthemiddl
eofthenight
?
Whathappenswheny ouhavedeli
ver
iesinSowet
o?
Uhambeiminiy
onke"?
Him:"
butay
izosi
ncedangant
olent
oyobaubekude
kunam"
Me:
"i
zondi
ncedamna"
Hi
m:"
baby
"
Me:
"mh"
Hi
m:"kut
henngathi
awf
uni
ndi
bei
nvol
vedkul
e
pr
egnancynj
e"?
Me:
"Iwoul
dn'
tknowkemt
chanam "
Hi
m:"
okay
"

Wat
hicwaka:
/

Me:
"canIhangupnow"
?
Hi
m:"
goodni
ght
"
Me:
"i
tsal
mostmor
ning"

ThenIhungup.

Icov
eredmyheadndal
ala
Wokeupt hef ol
lowi ngmor ningandt ookabat h,
then
Iwor ecleanPJsandwentt omakebr eakfastfor
my self
.Isatt hereeat ingmyAl lBranflakeswi th
sl
icedbananasandf ruityoghurtthenIdr ankmypi l
l
s
andwentt ositbyt hepool si
dephofndi yagodolabut
Ineededf reshair.Thepool i
satt hebacky ar
dsoI
couldn'treallyhearnorseeany t
hingfrom t hefront
houseandIdi dn'tev enbr i
ngmyphoneskodwa
ndithendi sahlel
i ndabonasesi thigqiuNt ando,yho
bendingamf unikenamhl anjeafterourphonecal l
bendingenamdl awakhemna

Hecameandsatont hesameseatIwason.Wakhe
wathicwaka,Idi
dn'
tevenmindhi
m ndiv
ele
ndazi
thul
elanam.

Hi
m:"
howy
ouf
eel
i
ng"
?
Me:
"good"
Hi
m:"
Imi
ssy
ouy
azS'
bongi
l
e"
Ndat
hul
a..
.

Hi
m:"
baby
"
me:
"hm'
'
?
Hi
m:"
Iam sor
ryf
ornotbei
ngt
her
ewheny
ouneeded
me"
Me:
"ndi
kuxol
elef
ondi
ncanwemov
eonf
rom t
his"
Hi
m:"
sizoy
ani
nikwagqi
rhake"
Me:
"andi
yaz,
butnotnow"
Him:"
what'
sst
oppi
ngusnow?We'
rebot
hher
e
asenzi
nto"
Me:"
masl
indet
woweekscozndisandonikwa
tr
eat
mentandIcan'
treal
l
ypumpmy sel
fngepil
i
si
oko"

Wewer
esi
l
ent
I
'
m sur
ehecoul
dsenset
hatmyhear
tisi
npi
eces:
'
(
Hi
m:"
kuzodekuber
ightst
handwasam "
Me:"ni
niNtando?Kuzobari
ghtnini
?Whymnaf uneka
yonkeint
osolokondiyi
sokol
ela?GuessIdon'
treal
l
y
deserv
etobehappymos"
Hi
m:"
sut
het
hakanj
enaS'
bongi
l
e"
Me:"ndidi
kiwemnakusugarcoat erinyani!Weboth
knowt hisi
sthetrut
h,Idon'
tjustgetthingsli
ke
everyoneelseIhavetosuff
erforthem sot hi
sisno
dif
ferent"

Het
urnedmyf
acesaj
ongana

Me:
"what
"?
Him:"
youneedtogetthatgar
bageoutofyour
head,
awsokol
i.Awsozeusokol
efut
hibabexakus-
"
Me:"
saveitNt
ando!Youdon'
tknowhal
fofwhat
you'
ret
alki
ngabout"
Hi
m:"
IknowId-
"
Me:
"t
hent
hul
ababe.Sut
het
ha"
Wathul
a,Imovedcl
osert
ohi
m andl
eanedmyhead
onhisshoul
der.
[
10/
10,
19:
25]‪+27730692704‬:
#279

Sakhesahl
alai
nsi
l
ence.
..
Akhout
het
hanomny
e
ThenEv
ecamet
owar
dsus:

Her
:"
mor
ning"
Me:
"Hey
,sup"
Her
:"
youhav
eamessage.
..
soundedur
gent
"
Me:
"t
hanks"

Shehandedmemyphone,si
xmi
ssedcal
l
sfr
om
Fai
th-
_-Ical
l
edherback
Her
:"
hel
l
osi
si,
I
'vebeencal
l
ingy
ou"
Me:
"Isee,
yi
ntonngx
aki
"
Her:"
Iwantedt
otell
y outhatwemightnotneedt
o
goalltheway,
yourfatherwastr
ansfer
edtoapri
son
thatsi
de"
Me:
"t
hissi
de"
?
Her:
"yes.SoI
'l
lj
ustcomeov erFr
idayeveni
ngthen
we'
llmeettogetheronSat
urday,
ifyou'
rest
il
lcoming
al
ong"
Me:
"sur
e"
Her:
"okay
..
.Uhm,
arey
ouokay
?Yousoundv
ery
down"
Me:
"I
'mf
inedon'
tmi
ndme"
Her
:"
arey
ousur
e"
Me:
"yesI
'
mfi
ne"
Her
:"
okayke.Wi
l
ltal
ksoon"
Me:
"shar
p"
Ihungupanddeci
dedt
ogoi
nsi
de

Me:
"masy
endl
i
ni"
Hi
m:"
sur
e"

Wewal
kedi
nsi
l
ence.

Wef ol
l
owedeachot hersaf
ikauKeri sehamba
ezot
hathwangumy eniwakheandEv eandBooboo
werealsol
ookingabitontheroad..
.soweall
huggedKeriandherFAM astheyleftkwashi
yekau
Eve

Her
:"
woul
dyoumi
ndi
fIgooutf
oranhourort
wo"
?
Me:
"uy
aphi
"?
Bae:
"shewon'
tmi
nd,
takeasmucht
imeasy
ouneed"

Ij
ustl
ookedatherwai
ti
ngf
ort
her
esponse
Her
:"
LDi
staki
ngust
olunch,
hemi
sseshi
sson"
Me:
"andhi
sgi
rl
fr
iend"
Her
:"
somet
hingl
i
ket
hat
"
Me:
"ononecondi
ti
on"
Her
:"
don'
tment
ioni
t,
I'
l
lmakesur
eIbr
ingi
t"

Iki
ssedBooandt
heyl
eft
..
.Phew!Okay
..
.sowhat
now?

Me:
"hav
eyoueat
en"
?
Hi
m:"
hayndi
grand"
Me:
"I
'm maki
ngmy sel
fafrui
tsmoot
hiesoIcan
makeyouafastbr
eakfast
,Idon'
tmi
nd"
Hi
m:"
babekhaw'
hl
alephant
si"

Oh
Isatont
hecouchnextt
ohi
m..
.

Him:
"I
'm nothungr
yokay
,Ij
ustwannamakesur
e
youar
eokay "
Me:
"ndi
shar
pmna"
Him:"
that
'swhatyousai
dont
hephonewhensi
no
sai
dawkhor i
ght"
Me:
"t
hat
'sdi
ff
erent"
Him:"how?OrnangokuS' bongi
leusenzalentoyakho
yozenzaibossethi
le?Play
ingsomest upi
dstarri
ng
kwintothatyouknowy ouhavenocont r
olover"
?

Oh-
kay
..
.hewasget
ti
ngangr
yandazwhy:
/

Me:
"t
hat
'sabi
thar
shkodwababe"
hi
m:"har
sh?Doy ouevenknowhowt hatwor
di s
spel
t?ForheavenssakeS'
bongi
lewhenwill
y ou
l
earn?kul
erelati
onshi
pI'
mtheman!may be
andi
bonakal
ithat'
swhyuzenzel
aizi
ntobutyonke
l
ont
oiy
aphel
anamhl
anj
e"
Me:
"don'
trai
sey
ourv
oiceatme"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
rai
seiti
fIhavet
ocozxakut
het
hwanawei
n
al
owunderst
andingt
oneawuva"
Me:"
haykalokungakul
ingenaweuzondenzel
ainoi
se
eunnecessar
yekhaya.Tchi
n"
Him:
"sukut
hitchin!Ay
ikhol
entouyenzay
oand
awunqandeki
.ikumoshil
ekelent
o"
Me:
"ndenzeni
Ntando"
?

Hel
ookedatmewahl
eka.
..

Me:
"ay
iphumi
?Good.
"
Hi
m:"
sisi
gezokeneso"
me:"hehsanaKhandkhwel
elekendi
zi
hlal
elei
n
peaceekhaya"
Hi
m: "
uqal
aimpambano.Ndi
kukhwelel
e?Ngu
mntanam nam l
onaumt
hweley
o,kut
henil
ibal
ekanj
e
l
ont
oaphakuwe"
Me:
"i
fyoucar
ryonatt
hisratemntakadadther
e
mi
ghtbenochil
dtocl
aim ndi
yakuxel
ela"
Hi
m:"
baby
"
Me:"
don'
tfuckenbabymeNt ando!Uy
evha?Don't
youdar
ebabyme.Ubuphi whenIneededy oumost?
Huh?Iwasdeadwor r
iedngawemnaut hiunenxeba
ubeusi
lwa,
whenIhearduhlaty
iweIfl
ewdownt oyou
andyesIknowkhangeutshobutIwastherefor
you.
"
[
10/
10,
19:
25]‪+27730692704‬:
#280

Hi
m:"
S'bongi
l
eI'
m her
enow,
andi
thi
"?
Me:"
oohbecauseuyindodageneral
l
ynakule
r
elat
ionshi
pngenxayokubayouhappent ohaveti
me
f
ormengokuI '
m supposedtoblowkissesneh"?
Him:"ndi
zovel
endikuf
akei
mpamakuphelei
si
gezo
esiunasocozawundimameli
qhaukhuphal
ent
o
kudalauyi
mi t
hi"
Me:
"boni
ceboke"
Wat
hul
a
Iremovedmyslipper
sandputmyf eetuponthe
couchndabukel
aiTVy angathi
akekho..
.asIwas
watchi
ngndavel
andalila.Iwasver
yupsety az
Icr
iedsi
l
ent
ly

Hi
m: "
ndikuv
uthululekwezozi
thubakemnakecoz
ay
ikhointooyi
li
lelayo"

Ii
gnoredhim..
.Ican'tr
eall
yexpecthimt ofeel
what
I'
mfeeli
ngwhenev enIcan'
texplai
nit.Igotupand
wenttothekit
chenndazenzelai smoothiesam,t
ook
i
ttotheloungeandsatdownsameposi ti
on

Hi
m:"
S'bongi
l
e"?

Ikeptqui
et
Hi
m:"
Sibongi
l
e"!
Me:
"mh"
Him:"
andazwawut
hathwaphiy
az!Uyay
thanda
i
dramamf et
huanditgoest
oapointwhereit
snot
cuteany
moreyho"
Me:
"bendt
hehamba"
Him:
"bandi
ngaphumaaphadon'
texpectmeto
comebackwheny oudeci
det
ofi
nall
yactyourage"

Idi
dn'
tanswerhi
m
Iwasgoi
ngt
oany
way
Makenzel
ent
oaci
ngbai
ri
ght

Helookedme,
iwaslooki
ngst
rai
ghtahead.
.st
oodup
andtookhi
skeyswaphuma.
Ibr
eat
hedoutandr
elaxed.
*
Fri
day
*

Ical
l
edFai
th.
..

Her
:"
Tri
na"
Me:
"ar
eyoust
il
lcomi
ngt
hissi
de"
?
Her:
"yesI'
m onmywayf
rom t
heai
rpor
tnow
sendf
iki
le"
Me:
"okay
,pl
sfor
war
dmef
urt
herdet
ail
s"
Her:
"j
ustpacky
ourI
Dinyourbag,
I
'll
f or
wardyou
i
xeshaandsendadri
vert
ocomef etchyou"
Me:
"awzanganoSosokant
i"
?
Her
:"
ndi
zenay
e,okayndi
zot
humel
ayena"
Me:
"okayt
hanks"
Her
:"
seey
out
omor
row"
Me:
"al
ri
ght
"
Wehungup
Okayfi
nall
y.
..Thisi
shappening.Ispentthatent
ir
e
daymopingaroundcoztherewasn'tmucht odo
othert
haneatingmarshmal
lowsandy oghurti
mini
yonke

Fol
lowi
ngmor ning,
iwokeupandpr epared.Soso
wazondi
thathaandthenwewentt ofetchhismot her
atsomesalonsay akulendawosiy
akuy osithecwaka.
Whenwer eachedourdest i
nat
ionmamakhe
waphumakuqalawef oll
owedafewst epsbehi nd
her

Hi
m:"
yousur
eaboutt
his"
?
Me:
"yep"
Hi
m:"
goodl
uck"
Me:
"t
hanksdude"

Wehuggedsangena,
wewer
esear
chedt
henFai
th
saidmakungenemnakuqal
asoIwalkedinand
therehewas,
seat
edpat
ient
lybehi
ndthenet
Isatdownandsuddenl
ymyt
hroatr
andr
y:o

Him:"
Iguessy
ou'
reaski
ngy
our
sel
fal
otof
quest
ions"
Me:
"yeah.
..
somet
hingl
i
ket
hat
"
Hi
m:"
wel
lI'
m gl
ady
oucame"
Me:
"hopef
ull
yI'
l
lgetmyunendi
nganswer
s"
Hi
m:"
hopef
ull
y"

Sakhesat
hul
a..
.

Me:
"so,
whatgoty
ouher
e"
Hi
m:"
onehugemi
stake"
Me:
"whi
chi
s"?
Hel
ookedatmeandsmi
l
ed.

Hi
m:"
your
esembl
eyourmot
her
,t
oomuch"
Me:
"t
hanky
ou"
Hi
m:"
sowhatdoy
oudo"
?
Me:
"st
udy
ing,
LLB"
Hi
m:"
hm,
youhav
eapower
ful
per
sonal
i
ty"
Me:
"Iguess"

Hel
ookeddown

Me:
"youknowInev
ert
houghtIhadaf
ather
,notunt
il
r
ecentl
y"
Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
ryf
ornotbei
ngt
her
ewheny
ougr
ewup"
Me:
"wher
ewer
eyou"
?
Hi
m:"Iwasher
e..
.butndiyaphumasoon.I
'
m hopi
ng
wecanbuil
dourrelat
ionship"
Me:"
that
'st
oomuchtoaskfor
..
.andy
ouhav
en'
tev
en
t
oldmewhatgotyoui
nhere"

Hi
m:"
Ican'
t,
I
'm notv
erypr
oudofi
t"
Me:"
Iunderst
andakhomntuoproudngobanj
wa
kwakhebutyou'
vegottagi
mmesomet hi
ng?
Wenzantonit
hatgotyouar
rest
edforsomanyyear
s"?

Hetookadeepbreat
handlookedaway
..
.Thi
sman
hadnoint
ent
ionofanswer
ingmyquesti
onatal
l

Him:"
I'
mr eal
lysor
ryyouhadtoliv
ewit
hthose
peopl
e,butIknowtheygaveyouagoodli
fe.Onet
hat
Iwouldn'
thaveaff
ordedevenifIwast
here"

Ihadal
umpi
nmyt
hroat
..
.

Him:
"Fai
tht
oldmeabouty
ourr
elat
ionshi
pwi
thher
son"
Me:
"shenev
erl
i
kedmeonebi
t"
Him:
"sheknewt
het
rut
hbuthadnowayoft
ell
i
ng
you"
Me:
"i
fyousayso.
..CanIasky
ousomet
hing"
Hi
m:"
sur
e"
Me:
"unaboabany
eabant
wana"
?
Hi
m:"
yeahbuty
ou'
ret
hey
oungest
"
Me:
"dot
heyknowaboutme"
?
Hi
m:"
Irecent
lyt
oldt
hem bav
uya"
Me:
"oh"
Him:"
jongamnt anam,I'
m notaper
fectman.Imade
myownmi stakesinl
ifeandpai
dforthem,
whenI
comeoutofher eIwanttomakepeacewit
h
ever
yoneI'vehurtandmakeal i
fef
orallmychi
ldr
en
cozthat'
sallIhave"
Me:
"Iheary
ou"

Wat
hicwaka.
..
Him:"
it
snotv er
yeasyfory
oundi
yay
azi
..
.but
kuzobangcononextt
ime"
Me:
"Iguess.
..Uhm,t
hanky ouf
oragr
eei
ngt
oseeme.
Mandini
keOoFaithichance"
Hi
m:"
nowt
hatundi
boni
l
endcel
aunganqabi
"
Me:
"I
'l
ltr
ynott
o"
Hi
m:"
enkosi
sisi
"

Igotupndaphuma,Fai
thgotin.Iwal
kedout
ndayohl
alanoSosophandle

Hi
m:"
howy
ouf
eel
i
ngnow"
Me:"It
hinkIdi
dtheri
ghtthi
ng..
.y
hoSosoIf
eel
so
l
ighteventhoughwedidn'
ttal
kmuch"
Hi
m:"
I'
m pr
oudofy
ou,
i
tmustnothav
ebeeneasy
"
Me:"
itwasn'
t,
sti
l
lisn'
t.Buti
tsoneoft
hoset
hings
yougott
ado"
Heopenedhi
sar
msandwehugged.
Icoul
dfi
nall
ybreat
h..
.f
eltl
i
keIhadi
ntoent
shaf
or
somereason.

Hi
m:"
come,
I
'l
lst
icky
out
oani
cecr
eam"
Me:
"Asl
ongasi
ts!
Magnum "

Hel
aughedandweheadedoutFai
thr
ightbehi
ndus.
[
10/
10,
19:
27]‪+27730692704‬:
#281

WeheadedtoWi
mpyandheboughtmyi
cecr
eam
t
hentheyt
ookmehome.

Fai
th:
"si
bo,Iwantyoutoknowthatnomat
terwhat
youneeddon'thesi
tat
etocont
actmeyouarefami
ly
now"
Idi
dn'
tknowwhattosay.
..
.Iwasr eall
ytakenby
sur
pri
se.Itt
ookmeawhol eminutetoadjustt
o
whatshej
ustsai
d,andt
oactuall
ythinkshemeanti
t.
Yho.

Me:
"enkosi
makaSoso"
Her:
"nowthatumboni
l
eut
atakhoi
woul
dli
ket
othi
nk
uzokwazi
ukuzyel
a"
Me:
"ndi
zozamakodwakeit'
snotreal
l
yaneasyt
hing
t
odoespecial
l
ykulandawoakuy
o"
Her
:"
iknowmyl
ove,
giv
eyour
sel
fti
me"

IhuggedSosot henndaphumaandwalkedinsi
de
ekhaya,
lockedthegatesandwentinsi
de!!
!Yhoheee
uYesuuyaphil
any hani
cozInevert
houghtmnano
fai
thwouldseeey etoeyeandevenagreeon
somethi
ng.

*
Thr
eeweeksdown*
LuuandSi vegotmar ri
ed,idi dhalfofev er
ythingkul
a
mt shatondingedi nwet hi
za!Buti twasav erynice
andcozev entact uall
yanev eningweddi ngobv i
ousl
y
Mar cwast herewi t
hhisf r
iendsbutkeIwasbey ond
beingpr eoccupiedt onoticeany t
hingorany oneelse
butIsawNt andoatsomepoi ntsancokol alooncoko
i
banday ocozuzi zelekum ebuzandi nj
ani
ndamphendul anam t henIt oldhim aboutt he
doct or
'sdatehepr omisedt ot agalongndamy eka
ke...Yaphelanjepho.Thet henewl ywedsl ef
tfor
theirhoneymooni nPar is

-
Af ewdaysaf t
ertheweddingIhadadoct or'
s
appointmentt ogot osoIdrovemy sel
f.Onmyway
thereIcal
ledNt andoandfunilentoi
ngathiidont
wanthimi nv ol
vedkulepregnancybutkwale
ayenzeyoshowsIwasr ightwhenIsaidhedoesn't
hav et
imef orme....Hi
sphoner angfourti
mes
beforehepi ckedup:
Hi
m:"
hel
l
o"
ME:
"ushar
p"?
Hi
m:"ndi
grandwena?Ar
eyoudr
ivi
ng?"
Me:"ndishar
p.I
'
m onmywayt
othedoci
thi
nii
nto
yakho"
Him:"
yhuuu!Yazndi
l
ibel
e.Yhosokwenzakanj
ani
kengoku"
Me:"
hehandi
yazkemntasekhayabutIcannot
post
ponethi
sappoi
ntment,y
eyonaivit
al"
Him:"mmmh..
.Okay.Ndcelundizamengegps
coordi
nat
esxasel
eufi
ki
lendizozamanakanj
an
ufi
ka"
me:
"shar
p"
Hi
m:"
sho"

Undi
buzekesanabandiyangantonikwagi
rha?Nge
medicalai
dkaLuukalokundiqhoshel
euNtandoso
nam ndazi
xel
elaandi
zonanazel
aemv akwakhe
especi
all
yabouti
mal
i
.
Ireachedt hedoct
or'
soffi
ceandwai tedwhi l
eshe
attendedapat i
entmnandabendi earlysoIsent
Ntandot heGPScoordinatesndali
ndaitur
ny am
wheni wascall
edinndavelandangenangoku
angekhoy ouJojoandndazixelel
abaandi zobe
ndiphonelananaye

Iwastestedkealloveragai
nbutlucki
lyl
echap
yafi
kari
ghtbeforeIwasgiventheresul
tsandashi
s
l
uckmayhav eitufikendi
ngqengqekulabedal
one,
thedoct
orhadj ustwentout

Hi
m:"
hey
,IhopeI
'
m notl
ate"
Me:
"nahndi
l
indei
resul
ts"
Hi
m:"
ohokay
"

Ndat
hul
akemna.
Thedoct
orr
etur
nedbabul
i
sanahei
ntr
oduced
hi
msel
fthenndani
kwai
i
resul
tszam

Doc:
"every
thingseemstobeingoodorderMsSmit
h.
Keepitatthat,
plsyouknowwe'
vebeenthrough
ever
ythi
ngt helastt
imeyouwer
ehere"
Me:
"iknow.AndI
'
mtr
yingmyut
mostbest
"
Doc:
"i
tsshows,
nowi
wantt
ochal
l
engey
out
o
exer
cise"
me:
"exer
cise?Yho"
Bae:
"butwon'
tthatendangert
hebabydoc"
?
Doc:
"notr
eal
l
y,i
twi
l
lhel
pwi
tht
hedev
elopmentpr
o
"
Me:
"yhohaydocsana,
yhu"
Doc:
"youcoul
ddoy
ogaorpal
ates"

Imumbl
ed
bae:
"we'
l
ltr
ydoc"
Shesmi
l
edandf
ini
shedmymedi
cal
repor
tndanx
iba
andw@i tedf
ormynewsubscr i
pti
onofmedst hen
wewentt opay,
heof f
eredtopaybutIHadit
covered,
ndaj
ongwakuLuut henisignedsaphumai
walkedtomgcar .Hefoll
owedri
ghtbehindcoz
ndi
m bonexandingenaemotweni

Me:
"t
hanksf
orcomi
ng"
Hi
m:"akhongxaki
.Ndi
yakukhumbul
akodwa
si
bongi
le"

Ist
oppedasIwasf
ast
eni
ngt
heseatbel
t.
..
Ndamjonga.

Me:
"nam ndi
yakukhumbul
ababeandsor
ryabout
t
helastt
ime"
Hi
m:"
youf
inal
l
yreal
i
zedt
haty
ou'
rewr
ong"
Me:"
no,y
ouwer ewr
ongbutIr
eal
i
zedwhatt
hese
st
upidl
i
lfight
sdotome"
Wathul
a..
.May
behedi
dn'
texpectt
hatki
nda
r
esponse.
[
10/
10,
19:
27]‪+27730692704‬:
#282

Aft
erthatndabonabasohl
alakul
epar
kingl
otuml
i
be
sana

Me:
"i
fthatwasal
lndcel
auhamba"
Hi
m:"uzobanechanceni
niI
'
dli
ket
otakey
out
o
l
unch"
Me:
"Idon'
tknow,I'
m goi
ngt
oKer
i'
sforXmasand
i
m notsur
endibuy
anini"
Him:"
uyahamba?ButSbongi
l
eyouknowy
oucan'
t
befarawayfr
om ugqi
rha"
Me:
"I
'm sur
ebakhonanaphay
aoogqi
rhaNt
ando"

Wat
hul
a..
.Ist
art
edmycar
Me:
"shar
p"
Hi
m:"
sho"

IdrovetoSparIwascr
avingtheirchoc-
chi
pcooki
es
ndathengazonazodwausingcreditcar
dtheni
drove
home.

Iwasbr okeAFqhakal okallmysibl

ingshave
famil
iesoftheirownsoi di
dn'twantt obot
herthem
kakhulu.Fi
kakwam endliniiputmyf eetupndatya
cookieszam...Ntandocall
ed:v

Me:
"baby
"
Hi
m:"
canIcomeov
er"
?
Me:
"Idon'
tthi
nkt
hatwoul
dbeagoodi
dea"
Hi
m:"butIhav
etot
alkt
oyou"

Isi
ghed.
..
Me:"khumbul
athelastti
mey ouwer
eher
e?Idon'
t
wanttofi
ghtwit
hyouf ondi
n"
Hi
m:"Idon'
twantt
ofi
ghtt
oobutIhav
etoseey
ou.
Pl
ease"
Me:
"can'
twet
alkont
hephone"
?
Hi
m:"ohf
ondi
ni"

It
houghthar
daboutt
his.
..

Me:
"kayi
za"
Hi
m:"
vul
akeI
'
m out
side"
Me:
"Ishoul
dhav
eknown.I
yaf
ananawel
ont
o"
Hi
m:"
khawenzekal
ok"
Me:"haykal
okli
ndandi
saci
ngauphakama
ndsaphumlekamnandi
"

Wahl
eka:
v
Me:
"iwonderuhl
ekanabani
"
Hi
m:"
noboynotnawe"
Me:"
uyohl
alakulomotoyakhokendak'
xel
elamna
uzumaneukhalangooboyapha"
Hi
m:"
xol
okeMr
sBeast
..
.Uy
aphakamamosmnt
u
wam"
Me:"uy
ayi
vabandinguMr
sbeastwobubhanxaphof
babe?Ohkudlal
i
wengam...Ngenawet
hu"

Hechuckledanddrov
ein,
ilef
tthedooropenf
orhi
m
asIcont
inuedeat
ingmycookieswangenaandsat
downont hesamecouchIwassitt
ingon

Hi
m:"
khandi
phe"
Me:"
andi
cingit
umntakadadi
ful
ambil
e
ndi
ngakwenzel
aukut
yanotmycooki
es"
Hej
ustsatt
her
eandsmi
l
ed:
)

Iwenttomakehimfoodndabuyanako.Al
ongwi
th
twospoonsthensat
yasobabini
makingsmal
l
conver
sat
ionunti
lwefi
nished

Me:
"youwant
edt
otal
k"
Hi
m:"
indi
tyi
l
eyazl
ant
oubuy
thet
ha"
Me:"
yint
onl
eyo?I
nint
sii
ntoendi
yi
thet
hay
o
ngomlomowam"
Hi
m:"
bandi
m owr
ongoi
nal
loft
his"
Me:"
haha!Hayur
ongony
hankebabet
hist
ime
ar
ound"
Hi
m:"kodwanaweur
ongo"
Me:
"notthi
sti
me.Mnakhandiqal
i
seubar
ongobut
t
hat
'sall
inthepastnowneh"
Hi
m:"
ijustwannaapol
ogi
zekodwake"
Me:
"oohhai
keapol
ogi
zest
handwasam gr
oundy
e
y
akho"
Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
rybabef
orev
ery
thi
ng"
Me:
"yi
ntoni
ever
ythi
ngnababe?"
Hi
m:"
yonki
ntof
ondi
n"
Me:
"hayudl
ali
l
engam zi
khal
i
"

Wav
elawahl
eka:
vuhl
ekani
pho?
[10/
10, 19:28]‪+27730692704‬: #283.
Him:"kodwababeuy andsokol i
sangoku".Me:"nj
ani
"?
Him:"ufunandibendi t
salaizintowhil
styouknow
whyIowey ouanapol ogy".Me: "meknowingwhy
youowemeanapol ogydoesn' tmeanuy ay
azinawe
soIwannaheari tfrom yourmout hbawhyuxol i
sa"
.
Wakhewat hulashameumnt anomntu,and
bendingazomy ekat unamhl anjeunti
lheknowshowI
real
lyfeel.Hemov edcloserandt ookbothmyhands
thenlookedst rai
ghtintomyey es
.
..Him:
"wheny
ousaidyoulovedmeIknewy ou
woul
dn'
tcopewit
hmyl i
fest
ylebutIdi
dhopethat
youwoul
dinawayadjusttoi
tbutwouldn'
tl
etit
changey ou" .Iwasl isteningat tentivelyandIwasn' t
gonnabr eakhi swor dsshor t:vndf unaat het he
fondin!Hi m: "ndi yakut handaSbongi l
eandi know
nowt haty oul ov emet oobutbabywehav et omake
thi
swor katsomepoi nt.It
'snol ongeraboutmeand
youqhangoku, wehav etoconsi derneneeds
zomnt wanakuy oy onkel entosi yenzay o".Me: "well
umnt anam i smyonl ypr iori
tyrightnowbaby ".Him:"I
understandt hatbutI '
dal sol i
ket obepr i
or i
tyy ou
know?I 'dal sol iket of eel i
mpor tanti ny ourl ifeand
actuall
ybemor ethanj usty ourboy fri
endy azbabe.
Me:"buty ouar eimpor tanttome, you'veal way sbeen
i
mpor t
antandy ouknowt hatbuty oudon' treally
maket i
mef orme, nant soey onant oisixabani sayo
thi
nasobabi ni".Hi m: "Iknowt hatbabyandIdon' t
wannasel lfal sehopendi t
hi Iwillchangecozwe
bothknowi nmyl i
neofwor kay i
khol onto" .Me: "
I
don'tthinkwear ereadyt obecomepar entsany t
ime
soon...Imeanasacoupl ecozkey oual r
eadyhav e
yourownexper ienceasumzal i".Hi m: "
sout hinialli
n
all
"?Ndat hul a, heliftedmychi nupndl ookedatme
souncomf ortabl yIf eltchi l
l
sdownmyspi nal cord.I
swallowedhar dtryingmybestnott ofeel
i
ntimi dat
ed.Me: "Iwanttotakethi
sjourneywithy
ou
butIneedy ourcommi t
mentbabe.Ineedt oknowI
goty ouinmycor nernomat t
erwhat".Hekissedme
l
ightlyasifbrushingmyl i
pswi t
hafeatherthenhe
smiled.Iblushedcozhet ookmebysur pri
se,
honest l
y

Him:"nowt hatI'mforgiven, arey oust i

llgoing" ?
Me: "
bendingahanj iswanguwekl knt andounj ani
kanti"
?Hi m: "
oohbutuzobuy anini"?Me: "ngo
Januar yformyr esults".Him: "haibobabeI '
m
spendi ngtheent ir
ef estiveseasonwi t
houty ou?
Fondinkut henndi bandanj ekulenai pregnancy "?
Me: "
eshe.Mal i
niuact er?Wenzangat hi twi l
lbet he
fi
rstti
mewe' respendingt hef est i
valapar tfrom each
other".Hi m: "youbet terenjoyt hiswhol ef reedom
whileitlasted".Me: "umnt anam akazondi bambezel a
pholanana, unlessuzandi bakeundi thwal endi be
ngumf azi wakokwenukwezal al
i zakhowhi l
sty ou're
busyher emaki ngmor ebabi es".:v.Hebur stout
l
aughi ngandshookhi shead. .
.Hi m:"abant wana
ndizobenzaaphakuweqhakal okMr s".Me: "i
intl
oni
ziy
amncedaumnt u,sonowI '
m somesor tof
baby makingmachineforyou?Orr at
hertoy ou"?
Him:"ha.ababedon' tt
wistmywor dsthough" .Loli
decidednottakeitanyfur
ther.Ndamyeka: vIwas
j
usthav i
ngsomef unwit
hhim, Iwasn'
tbeingser i
ous
tundiyazazibaImeanmor ethanthatkuy e.
[
10/
10,
19:
28]‪+27730692704‬:
#284

Afterspendi
ngthatenti
redaywi thhim Ihadtor e-
assessmydeci si
onskengok.Twoday slat
erI
packedmyl uggageforthist
ripbutjustonecaseI
plannedtospendNewYearwi thhim butIwant edto
surpri
sehim ndbuyendingamxelelangagoodt hing
Joehashi sownPJt hatwill
takemeandbr ingme
backhome.
Wheni
wasdonepacki
ngIcal
l
edhi
m

Hi
m:"
Tee"
Me:
"ndi
yahambakenamhl
anj
e"
Hi
m:"oh.
.Whatt
ime"
?
Me:
"i
nanhour"
Hi
m:"okayuphi
ngoku"
Me:
"ndsendl
i
ni"
Hi
m:"
ndi
yeza"
Me:
"sho"

Wehungupndal i
ndake..
.WafikaIopenedthegate
forhiscarandhewalkedinwithashoppingbag,he
placeditonthecoff
eetableandsatdownnextto
me. .
.

Hi
m:"
Idi
dn'
tthi
nkuzohambany
hani
"
Me:
"kodwaNt
ando"
Hi
m:"
don'
tworr
yI'
m nother
etost
opy
ou,
justt
o
wi
shyousaf
ejour
ney"
Me:
"thanks"

Ndaphakamacozndi
yabonaasi
nancokoi
ngako
ngoku,healsogotupandt ookmybagt henheheld
mef rom behi
ndandkissedmyneck,Iknewt hati
s
theonlyreasonhecameher esoIj
ustturnedand
kissedhimtoo.Weshar edthi
smomentofi nti
macy
forami nut
et henIpul
l
edoutandlookedathis
strai
nedface

Me:
"awf
uni
ndi
hambeneh"
Hi
m:"
honest
ly,
no"
Me:"IknowthatbutIal
soneedt
obear
oundposi
ti
ve
peoplengokubabe"
Hi
m:"
I'
m notposi
ti
veenoughf
ory
ou"
Me:
"pl
easedon'
tmaket
hishar
dert
hani
tal
readyi
s"

Hebr ushedmyl i
pswit
hhisown,isuckedhiminand
weki ssed.Iwr appedmyarmsaroundhisneck
standingonmyt oesashi
sarmsembr acedme
aroundt hewaist,weki
ssedasifi
tsthelastt
ime
andIgot tabehonestIwastemptedtojustcancel
thiswhol et
hing..
.
Me:
"Iwi
shsomehowIf el
tdi
ff
erentabouty
ou,
may
belovedy
ouless"
Hi
m:"
hayungagul
iuhambababy"
Me:"butyoudon'tunderst
andwhereI'
m coming
fr
om, somethingshurtmemor eevenifandi
tsho.
..
Andrightnowleavi
ngy oubehi
ndhurtsmebuti t
s
somethingIhavetodo, f
orMysel
f"
Him:"Ithi
nkIunderst
and,butndi
buyelaeKapanam
akhontondizoy
ihl
alel
aaphax aungekho"
Me:
"mmkay
..
.Khandkhaphekebabendi
zobal
ate"
Hi
m:"
mmh"

Wekissedonel astt
imet
henhedrov
emetothe
ai
rpor
t.Icheckedinandwai
tedf
ormyfl
i
ghtt
henhe
dr
ovehimselfbackhome.

Iar
ri
vedatKeri
'shomeandr
est
edt
henr
esol
vedt
o
cal
l
ingtheBeast.
..
Hi
m:"
baby
"
Me:
"st
handwasam,
ndi
hambekakuhl
e"
Hi
m:"
okay
,unj
anuJuni
or"
Me:
"he'
sti
red"
Hi
m:"
rest
ani
kal
okf
ondi
n"
Me:
"wej
ustwokeupnj
ena"
Hi
m:"
enzaezaener
gyshakeszakhokal
ok"

Ismi
l
ed.
.Her
eal
l
ycar
eskodwa.

Me:
"ndi
zozenza.
..By
efornow"
Hi
m:"
lov
eyoubot
h"
Me:
"wel
ovey
out
oobaby
.
[
10/
10,
19:
28]‪+27730692704‬:
#285

Ienj
oyedmyt
imeatKer
i'
shouse:
D
somehowIf
eltl
i
keapri
ncessresi
dinginapalace
andJoemademefeel
li
kehisownlitt
lesi
ster
.
Aweekt
her
e,Ir
ecei
vedacal
lfr
om Amanda

Me:
"f
ri
endabl
e"
Her
:"
heybabe,
awnqabemanuphi
"
Me:"
haha!Ndkhonababe,
how'
sthef
est
iveseason
hol
dingupony ou"
Her
:"
fantast
icshl
obosam,hehman,ndbone
i
ndodakhoatababyshopearl
iert
oday"
Me:
"who,
Ntando"
?
Her:
"ewe.
.Idon'
tmeant
opr
ybutdoeshehav
ea
chi
l
d"
Me:
"he'
sgott
wochomi
.Agi
rlandaboy
"
Her
:"
thatexpl
ainsi
t.
.Ndazi
phi
kal
okt
hesemencan
besounpredi
ctabl
e"
Me:
"wel
lI'
mluckyt
ohav
eyouasaf
ri
end"
Her
:"ohwhat
everwet
hu,
uzozani
nieKapa"
Me:
"nexty
earIt
hink,
I'
m notsur
eman"
Her:
"mmkay
,youbet
tercomekesanaIhav
e
somethi
ngt
osharewit
hy ou"
Me:
"mmh,whati
sit?Youpr
eggi
es?Get
ti
ngmar
ri
ed?
Ory
ougotanewjob"
Her:
"I'
m notsay
ingany
thi
ng,
justcomet
oCTqha
wena"
Me:
"ndi
zozababe"
Her
:"
okaykeenj
oyy
ourday"
Me:
"yout
oosweet
ie"

Lol Iwasstupidl
ycur i
ousv ha.Amandai sneverone
tobesecr eti
vesowhynow?Mov i
ngrightal
ong,
afterafewmor edaysofbei ngspoil
trott
enfrom
spast ohotell
unches...If
lewt otheCapeont he
31stDecemberandIwasabi tcauti
ouscozIknew
therewasahugepossi bil
i
tyofnotf i
ndinghim home
butIhadt otrymyl uckcozIr eal
lywantedtospend
thedaywi thhim.
OnceIl
andedatt
heai
rpor
t,Ical
l
edI
vor
Hi
m:"
Mer
ryChr
ist
masmadam"
Me:
"mer
ryChr
ist
mas,
Ineedahugef
avour"
Hi
m:"any
thi
ng"
Me:
"isitpossibl
ethatyoucoul
dcomefet
chmeat
t
heair
portwithoutyourbossknowi
ng"
?
Hi
m:"nopr
oblem ma'am,he'
snotar
oundatt
he
momentsothatshoul
dn'
tbeaprobl
em "
Me:
"thankssi
r"
Hi
m:"
pleasur
e"

SoIwait
edforafewmi nut
esthenI
vorrockedup,he
hel
pedmewi t
hmyl uggagethenweheadedhome. .
Ha!Home?That'
snotreall
ymyhome, i
t'
sNt ando'
s
homeforgoodnesssake.
Hehelpedmeof fl
oadthenIusedmykeyt oopen
andIvorl
eftme.Ifr
eshenedupandgotabi twarm
thenIwenttothekit
chenandcheckedoutwhatI
couldgett
onibbleonbutIcouldn'
tfi
ndanythi
ngsoi
defr
ostedchickenandmarinateditwhil
eIcooked
pastaandGreeksaladthenIroastedthemeatand
madeonemor esaladandrooibosteaasIchil
l
ed
andwaitedformymeatt obedone

PastsixIhear
dhiscarcomingin,Iwascuddledon
thecouchwatchi
ngromcom wi t
hmycupnextt ome
andapacketofsourgumsinmyhand.Ihear da
whist
le,t
henkeysatthedoor.
..Thenhejuststood
ther
ethroatdr
y.

Me:
"Sur
pri
se"
Hi
m:"whendi
dyougether
e?"

Hewalkedi
nandclosedthedoor
,hecametohug
meandwekissedli
ghtl
ythenhepul
ledbackand
l
ookedatmeagain

Him:
"ubuy
elent
onisosoon,
IthoughtIwasgonna
seey
ounextyearonl
y"
Me:
"Iwant
edt
ocr
ossov
erwi
thy
ou"
Hi
m:"wow..Xolomanbabef
orquest
ioni
ngy
ou.I
'
m
j
ustshocked"
Me:
"andhappyIhope"
Hi
m:"
comeher
e"

Imovedcl
osertohim andweki
ssed.
.al
ong,
slow,
deep,
wetandlazyki
ss.

Hi
m:"y
oushouldhav
etol
dmeuy
eza,
Idi
dntev
enbuy
gr
ocer
iesher
e"
Me:
"thenIwoul
dhav
erui
nedt
hesur
pri
se"
Hi
m:"t
henweary
ourshoessi
yot
hengaukut
ya"
Me:
"Icookedbaby
"
Hi
m:"
youcooked?Babykudal
auf
iki
l
emos"

Ij
ustsmil
edandwentt
odi
shup,
hewal
kedi
ntot
he
ki
tchenandwat
chedme
Me:
"sayi
t"
Hi
m:"
Ishoul
djustmar
ryy
ou"
Me:
"haha,
babei
t'
sjustal
i
lsur
pri
seandf
ood"
Hi
m:"
formei
t'
smor
ethant
hat
,youl
efty
ourf
ami
l
y
j
ustt
obewit
hme"

Nccooman:
'
(

Me:"Iwantust ost
artov
er,wi
thhonesty
,lov
eand
everyt
hingthatmakessensei
nbuildi
ngagood
rel
ati
onship"
Hi
m:"t
hensayy
es,
mar
ryme"

Ndavel
andamatha.ForafewsecondsIdidn'tmov e.
.
Hecameforwar
dandt ookourplat
estothel ounge,I
f
oll
owedwithgl
assesnedr i
nk.Iwasnev
err eady..
.
Umt
shat
o?Real
l
y?ex
[
10/
10,
19:
28]‪+27730692704‬:
#286

Wesatdownndat
ya,hedi
dn'
t.Hewaswat
chi
ngme
okany
ehewaswaiti
ngforananswer

Me:
"you'
renothungr
y"?
Hi
m:"ndi
yakubuka"
Me:
"oh.
..
howwasy
ourXmas"
?

Wakhewandijongawit
houtsayingaword,
LolIknow
i
tsunf
airbutIwasreal
lyavoi
dingtheot
hertopic

Hi
m:"
ukuphet
henj
ani
ujuni
or"
?
Me:
"uy
akhul
aIt
hink"
Hi
m:"
uyani
nikugqi
rhaagai
n"?
Me:
"ngesev
ennextmont
h"
Hi
m:"
uzobeusel
aphamos"
Me:
"er
h..
.andi
yazkebaba"
Hi
m:"
mmmh"

Het
ookhi
spl
ate,
sat
ya.
..
*
Knockknock*

Weareexchangedlookst
henhegotupandwentto
openup,
Iconti
nuedwithmydi
nner
.Theywal
kedin.
.
Il
ookedupatRanger

Hi
m:"
Tee"
Me:
"hi
"
Hi
m:"
ugr
and"
Me:
"yahwena"
Hi
m:"
ndi
shar
p..
.t
a"

Nt
andol
ookedatme.
..Iknewuzohamba
Hi
m:"
babendi
zobuy
angoku"
Me:
"kay
"
Hi
m:"
Iwon'
ttakel
ongIpr
omi
se"
Me:
"sho"

Heranupstai
rs,It
ookmypl at
etotheki
tchenwent
backtofet
chmymedsndasel azonaandwentto
thel
oungendathathaphonezam

Range:
"usur
eugr
and?Youl
ookt
ense"
Me:
"ndi
shar
p"

It
ookast
epf
orwar
d

Him:"
doesyourbr
otherknowyou'
reher
e?Imean,
he
sai
dy ou'
rewi
thKeriandJoel
astt
imeIhear
dofyou"
It
urnedandl
ookedatt
hisguy
..
.

Me:
"soni
ncokol
angam"
?
Hi
m:"
that
'snotwhatImeant
"
Me:"
whatdi
dyoumeanke?ThatIshoul
dreportto
youever
yti
meIdeci
det
ocomeandseey ourboss"?
Hi
m:"
haysani
you'
rebl
owi
ngt
hisoutofpr
opor
ti
on"
Me:
"ny
hani
"?

Nt
andoappear
edsi
saj
ongene

Hi
m:"
erh.
.MasambeRanger
..
.Ugr
andbabe"
Me:"ay
izokwenzekakei
ntoy
okubandi
hlal
endodwa
obusukubonkeneh"
Hi
m:"
noandi
zohl
ala"
Me:
"mmh"
Iwalkedupthestaircaseandchangedi nt
oPJs
ndangenaezingubenindal
ala...esdal
eni
Ker
ical
l
ed.
..

Me:
"si
s"
Her
:"
hey
,yousoundasl
eep"
Me:
"yeahIt
hinki
tsf
ati
gue"
Her:
"oh,
youmustr
estt
hen.I
'
llcal
lyout
omor
row
okay"
Me:
"sur
e"

Wehungupndaj
ongai
xeshay
abei
zipastel
even
Iwenttothebathroom andcameback.If eltf
amili
ar
crampsonmyst omach.Iknewimmedi atel
ythatI
neededtoseeadoct or,
kwant oi
nci
nci kal
okfuneka
i
hoyiwemedi cal
lyi
fIreal
lywannakeept hisbaby
atl
eastunti
lsixmonths.IchangedthePJshor tsi
nto
l
ongertrackpantsandwor esocks,
sli
ppersne
hoodiethenIcheckedmyhandbagf ormydoct ors-
notepadwit
hallmydet ai
l
sthatwi l
lbeneeded
xandfi
kakwagqirhaoresibhedl
ele.Whenallmy
thi
ngswereinorderItookmyphoneandcal l
ed
Ntando..
oneri
ngt henhepickedup

Hi
m:"
babe,
ndi
l
aphaemny
ango"
Me:
"sur
e"

Ihungupndayomlindaezant
si.
..
thesecr
ampswer e
i
ncreasi
ngrapi
dlybutItr
iedt
obeabi ggirl
.Andnot
cry
.

Hewal
kedi
nandl
ookedatt
hebag.
..

Hi
m:"
what
'swi
tht
hebag"
?
Me:
"Iuhm,
Ineedt
oseeadoct
or"
Hi
m:"
you'
rei
npai
n"?
Me:
"canwej
ustgot
othehospi
tal
?Pl
ease"
Hi
m:"
okay
"

Het ookmybagandmyhand, wal

kedmet othe
passengerseatandcl osedt hedoor.
..
yaphephetheka
i
mot ouy otshoesbhedlele.BynowIhadt otaket wo
tothreestepskhendiphuml eandIcouldseehewas
worriedsick.Wegotthr oughtheadmin,Igotlucky
ther
ewasadoct orondut y,
sheatt
endedtomeand
didallpossibl
echecks

Hi
m:"
doc,
what
'
sgoi
ngon"
?
Her:
"ever
ythi
nglooksfinetome,
I
'l
lgiv
ehera
sedati
vetohelpherthrought
heminorpai
nthenshe
cangohomeandr est"
Hi
m:"
you'
renotadmi
tt
ingher
"?
Her
:"t
here'
snoneed,
butI
'
m gl
adyoubroughther
her
equickl
y.Ther
ecoul
d'
vebeenafewhiccups"
Hi
m:"
okay
..
.sowej
ustgobackhome"
?
Her
:"
yes,
herappoi
ntmenti
sont
hesev
ent
hri
ght
"?
Hi
m:"
yes"
Her
:"
nopr
obl
em "

Shegav emeani nject

ionthenwet ookourthings
andheadedbackt ohisapar t
ment.Iwentstraightt
o
bed.Hef ol
l
owed...Igotinbed,heundressedand
fol
lowedmesakhesat hul
a.Iwassl owl
ydrif
tingoff
tothongo-l
and.

Hi
m:"
ushar
p"
Me:
"yeah"
Hi
m:"
usur
e?Awuv
apai
ns"
Me:
"no.
.masl
alebabe"
Hi
m:"
undot
husi
l
ekal
ok"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ry"
Hi
m:"
don'
t.
..
"

Iwasal
readysl
eepi
ng.
..Ndi
rhonanor
hona.If
elthi
m
ki
ssi
ngmyf
orehead,
Iswearmyhear
tmadeadi
mpl
e.
[
10/
10,
19:
28]‪+27730692704‬:
#287

WhenIwokeupi nthemorninghewasn'
tther
ebutI
sawabr eakf
asttraynextt
omysi deoft
hebed.I
fi
rstwenttothebathroom t
hencamebacktocheck
messagesf r
om myphonehewal kedinandcameto
ki
ssmydr ylips

Me:
"owkay
..
.whathav
eIdone"
?
Hi
m:"
happynewy
ear"

Ismi
l
ed.
..Okay
.NowI
'
m bummedl
awei
.

Me:
"happynewy
ear
"

LolIcameal
lthewayheret
ocrossoverwi
thhi
my et
Idi
dn'tev
engettosayt
hatf
irst
,hebeatmetoi
t.
..
the
f
oll
owi
ngmor
ningev
en.

Hi
m:"
youokay
"?
Me:
"yep"
Hi
m:"
okay
..
.Souhm,andazkeububawel
aukwenza
nt
oni
namhlanj
e?Orukuy
aphi"
Me:
"andbawel
ikuy
andawot
u"
Him:
"usur
e?Imean,y
ouwannaspendt
hev
eryf
ir
st
dayoft
heyeari
ndoors"
?
Me:
"ndi
sur
e"
Him:"
babey ouknowy ou'r
estill
youngneh?Andyour
bumpi snotevenshowi ngyet.I
'm sur
eAmanda
wouldli
ketoseey ou,i
fnotthenletmet akey
ou
out.
..
boat-
ri
dingmay be"

Il
aughedathi
m..
.al
mostchoki
ngont
het
oast

Me:
"Idon'
twannagoany
wher
eNt
ando,
i
fuf
una
uhambay
oucango"
Him:"
hayfondi
nundenzelaiworr
ywenawonke
ungaf
uniuphuma?Usur eyou'
refeel
i
ngokay
"?

Ismil
edandat eupt henIat
temptedtotaket
hetray
downstair
s,hestoppedmeway it
hathangokwakhe
thenIdrankmymedsndaphi ndandangqengqa
wabuyaandal sogotinbedhishandtouchi
ngmy
stomach

Hi
m:"
Iwantt
hischi
l
dsobadl
y"
Me:
"Icanseet
hat
..
.butIdon'
tunder
standwhy
"
Hi
m:"
whatdoy
oumean"
Me:"
Imean...
youalr
eadyhaveagirl
andaboy .By
nowifanbasekwaphel
analoexci
tementespeci
all
y
si
nceubonabakunzimakangakananiukhuli
sa
umntana"
Hi
m:"
youwoul
dn'
tunder
stand.
.."
Her
ubbedmyst
omachsof
tl
y

Him:
"t
here'
ssomet
hingIwant
edt
ogi
vey
oubef
ore
youl
eftf
orKeri
'
shouse"
Me:
"what
'st
hat
"

Heopenedhisdrawerandtookoutasmal
lvel
vety
boxwandi
nika,
Iopeneditandsawabeaut
iful
ring.
Wit
honlyonediamondinit.
Forav
erylongmomentIcoul
dn'tsayaword,
let
al
oneremovingmyey
esfrom t
hispieceofj
ewel.
Aft
erafewmor
eot
hermoment
shecl
ear
edhi
s
thr
oat
..
.

Hi
m:"
youdon'
tseem t
oli
kei
t"
Me:
"no"
Hi
m:"
no"
?
Me:
"Il
ovei
tbaby
"
Heexhaled...asignofreli
efIshouldthink.Il
ookedat
him,
tearsbui l
dingupbehindmyey eballs.Helooked
atme,thent heboxthenbackatme. ..
Iknewt hiswas
themomentIwasr unningawayf r
om.Icoul dn'trun
anymor e.Iwascor neredandwhat ev erdeci
sionI
makewi llhavet obeselfl
ess.
..
ndicingele
nomntanam.

Hi
m:"Si
bongi
l
eTr
inal
i
queSmi
th.
..
wil
lyoumar
ryme"
?

At earl
eftoneeye,
Iwipeditoff.Igat
her
ed
courage,
wor dst
oanswerhi m butIhadnone.Fora
minutewesati nsi
lence.
..Icoughedandbli
nkedmy
tearsbacktothei
rsockets

Me:
"yes"
I
'm sur
ehethoughtIwoul
dsayno,
thewaywot
huka
ngayoaft
erIanswer
edhim.
Hi
m:"
yes?Di
dyouj
ustsayy
es"
?
Me:
"yesNt
andoIwi
l
lmar
ryy
ou"

Hepulledmet ohi
mselfandwehugged, Ipulled
backandlookedathim.Hewasr eall
yshakenby
nerv
es.I'
veneverseenhi
ml i
kethisbefore,
may be
I
'veseenhim cl
osertot
hisbutnotthisnervousatal
l
.

Hetooktheboxandwor emet hering.Thenwe

ki
ssed.NowthatpartImissedmost .Heturnedus
ar
oundandwecont i
nuedki ssing.Thatturnedto
st
ri
pping.Andt
hat,
tosomet hingelse.
Whenever
ythi
ngwasdonewecuddledundert
he
cov
ersandbreat
hedt
hesameair
..
.

Me:
"It
oldyouI'
m spendi
ngmyf
ir
stdayi
ntot
hisy
ear
wi
thyou.Al
one"
Him:"
you'
vej
ustmademeahappyman.Enkosi
babe"
Me:
"enkosi
nawef
ornotgi
vi
ngup.Onme,
us"
Him:
"evenifIwant
edto,Iwoul
dn'tbeabl
eto.
..
Ther
e'sjustsomet
hingaboutyou"
Me:
"thesamet
hingaboutyout
hatmademel eav
e
myfamil
yonnewy ear
sevetospendi
titwi
thyou"
Hi
m:"
andy
oumadet
her
ightdeci
si
on"
Me:
"ar
ewegonnaagreeonthis?Haha!Thi
sreal
l
yis
t
hebeginni
ngofnewt
hings"

Hetickledmyri
bs..
.wepl
ayedforacoupl
eof
minutesthenwewenttobath,
wenttocookl
unch
saphindasabuy
elaebhedi
ni.

Hi
sphoner
angsi
sancokol
aIl
ookedathi
m

Hi
m:"
nguGuddababe"
Me:
"saphandi
mphendul
e"
Wi
thouthesi
tat
ionhepassedmet
hephone.
..

Me:
"hel
l
o"
Hi
m:"
ola,
ikhonaIki
ng"
Me:"
ikhonabuthe'
snott
akinganycal
l
stoday
.
Akhontoingxami
seki
l
eyophof"
?
Hi
m:"
ha.
a..
.khawme,
ndt
het
hanaban"
?
Me:
"enj
oyy
ournewy
eart
hen"

Ihungupandputt
hephoneonmysi
de

Hi
m:"
sosoon?
"
Me:
"sosoonnt
o"?
Him:
"heee!Awkagqibi
nosukuolunyeasmyf
iancé
buty
ou'real
readytaki
ngmycal
ls..
."
Me:"
ohmxm I'
vebeentaki
ngyourcall
skusaphi
l
a
nooKil
l
aakhontoi
ntshaphol
acharl
ie"
Hi
sphoner
angagai
n
Wahl
eka

Me:
"Gudda"
Hi
m:"
Tee?Nguwel
oh"

Hedoubt
edmyv oice..
.:/ori
stheresomeoneel
se
whowouldansweriphonekaNt ando?Oyi
femal
e?

Me:
"ut
hini
ndoda"
Him:
"haymanbendf
unaIgr
oot
manngent
onj
e
enci
nci
"
Me:
"i
sitbet
weenl
i
feanddeat
hur
gent
"?
Hi
m:"
nobuti
tsi
mpor
tant"
Me:
"sendhi
m at
extorcal
lhi
m agai
ntomor
row"
Hi
m:"
yho!Heee"
Me:
"wast
her
eany
thi
ngel
se"
?
Hi
m;"
ha.
amt
chana"
Me:
"sur
e"

Ihungup.
..
[
10/
10,
19:
28]‪+27730692704‬:
#288

Wechil
l
edinbedalldayt
henlat
eronwedecidedto
gooutf
ordi
nner.
..Onourwaytother
est
aurantI
cal
l
edmyotherbae..
.

Hi
m:"
ndaaal
ahl
wa"
Me:
"bhey
ibhi
wam,
unj
ani
"
Hi
m:"
I'
m si
ckunj
ani
wena"
Me:
"I
'm si
ckt
oo"
Hi
m:"
ugul
ayi
ntonkengokwena"
Me:
"yi
l
eigul
i
sawenakal
ok"
LolNtandoeyedmewhi l
edr
ivi
ng.
..
Sosoont
he
otherhandwaslaughi
ng.

Hi
m:"
how'
syournewy
ear
"?
Me:
"gr
eat
..
.uphi
"
Hi
m:"
ndi
seKapant
wanay
am why
"
Me:
"l
et'
smeetf
orl
uncht
omor
rowt
hen"
Him:"
ulapha?Yhuungcol
i
le.Ndi
ngat
yai
nyi
b'
dyal
a
ndodwakantiukhona"
Me:"
haymyf
ri
endut
henwashumaneka?Ebephi
u
Li
ndo"?
Hi
m:"
ugoduki
l
ekal
okumnt
uozengeskol
oeKapa"
Me:
"kut
henungagodukangakengokwena"
?
Him:"ndi
yaf
ikandv
elakoosbar
ibakhoemdubane
ungandit
est
i"

Lol
wegotof
fthecar
..
.wal
kedhand-
in-
hand.
..
Me:"
umntunguwe.
..Mamel
akel
emmecal
lyou
ngomsoneh"
Hi
m:"
shar
psan"
Me:
"sho"

Wehungup.
..
Ntandobengat
hiy
iescor
tyam sana

Me:
"nana"
Hi
m:"
hm"
Me:
"uqumbi
l
e"?
Hi
m:"
ndi
thul
e.Bi
gdi
ff
erencebabe"
Me:
"eshe,
undphoxel
ant
oni
?Awsembi
nje"

Hel
aughedaswesel
ect
edat
abl
eandsatdown

Hi
m:"
uzobambi
nal
omnt
anawakhomos"
Me:
"ha.
auzof
ananoni
nal
ommt
ana"
Hi
m:"
youwi
sh.
..
ziphi
nai
iwai
ter
szal
apha"
Me:
"her
e'sonecomi
ng"

Aguycametogiv
eusmenusthenheleft
,whenwe
deci
dedwhatt
oeatwemadeourorderandwait
ed
chat
ti
ng

Hi
m:"
uzoy
akubhut
iwakho"
Me:
"ha.
a"

Wandi
j
onga.
..

Hi
m:"
isev
ery
thi
ngokay
?Iny
ourf
ami
l
yImean"
?
Me:
"ev
ery
thi
ngi
sfi
ne.
..
Ijustdon'
twannaseeLi
z"
Hi
m:"
sti
l
lgr
udgi
ng"
?
Me:
"nobabeI
'
m notgr
udgingIj
ustdon'
twannabei
n
t
hesamespaceasheryet
.That
'sal
l"
Hest
udi
edme.
..
Ver
ythor
oughl
y.
..

Me:
"you'
remaki
ngmeuncomf
ort
abl
ekeuy
azi
lont
o"
Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
ry.
..Sowhat
'
syourpl
anf
ort
hisy
ear
"?
Me:"
studyharderandgetgreatmarks,
deli
verthis
babyashealthyandstrongaspossibl
e,applyfort
he
i
nter
nshipprogram atLegalWiset
owardst heendof
theyear
"
Hi
m:"
youqual
i
fyal
ready
"?
Me:"onceIpassmyt wosemesterswit
hwor t
hy
markskalokIcanapplyandunyakauzabesowphela
xaiqalal
aprogram meaningi
fIgettoint
ernthenI
'
ll
st
udymyf or
thyearpar
t-
ti
me"
Hi
m:"
inal
loft
hisst
udy
ingandwor
kinguzomt
hini
umnt
ana"
?
Me:
"uzoy
ohl
alanoKer
iIt
hink"
Hi
m:"
andIwasgonnabet
oldni
ni"
?
Me:
"don'
tst
artkemt
chana.
..
siy
ancokol
amosngoku.
Ifawfuniayohlal
akuKerithensuggestsomething
elseezoncedisananam cozmnandi l
ungisel
elayena
umntanaaf umaneukuhoy wakak'
hlenam ndikwazi
umakhelaasol idfut
urefi
nanci
all
y"
Hi
m:"
I'
vegott
hef
inancescov
erednj
e"
Me:
"Nt
ando"
?
Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"Nt
ando"
?
Hi
m:"
Nal
i
que"
Me:"
it
sonl
ybeenafewday
syety
ouseem t
ohav
e
f
orgott
enwhoIam"
Him:"
Ihaven'
t.
..
Ijustwishyoucouldbondwit
hyour
kidf
ir
standnotwor ryngemal i
.That
'smyjoband
l
ikeIsai
d,I'
vegotitcovered"

Kwaf
ikaukut
yasat
ya.
..

Hi
m:"babyj
onga,
howaboutwef i
ndsomeonewho
wi
llt
akecareoft
hebabyful
lti
me?Ahlal
enawepha
kokwenundi
mbhat
aleke"
Me:"i
tsagoodideabutndi
zof
undanj
ani
wit
ha
cr
yingbabyendli
ni?"
Hi
m:"
ooh"
Me:
"andI
'
llbei
n-bet
weenwor ki
ngandst
udy
ing
whi
chmeansI'
l
lbetiredt
hroughout
"
Hi
m:"okay
..
.l
et'
sjustwaitandseehowthi
spl
aysout
.
We'
ll
dealwithi
twhent hetimecomes"
Me:
"kay
"

Iatei
nsilenceandIknewhewaswat chi
ng
me...
ther
e'snowayyouwouldn'
tfeel
hiseyes
feast
ingony ou.

Hi
m:"
Ihopey
oudon'
tregr
etf
all
i
ngpr
egnantagai
n"
Me:
"i
tdoesn'
treal
l
ymat
terwet
husey
enzeki
l
e"
Hi
m:"
Sibongi
l
e"
Il
ookedathi
m

Hi
m:"
wemadelomntwanasobabi
niandi
thi
?Wewi
l
l
t
akecar
eofhi
m orherhowev
erwayweknowbest
"
Me:
"Iknow"
Hi
m:"goodcozwe'
rei
nthi
stogether
.I'
m notgonna
l
eaveyouonyourown,
nomatterhowbaditgets.I
pr
omise"

Ihadtear
spushingmyeyebal
lstocomeoutbutI
didn'
twannabeallemonow.Ijustsmi
l
edandtooka
si
pf r
om mycit
rusjui
ce.

Me:
"t
hanky
ou"
Hi
m:"
don'
tthankmey
et,
kuseksasa"

Weor
der
eddesser
t.
..
yaf
ika.
Ihadt
otel
lhi
m aboutmydad.
..
Ndl
elal
ebendimoyi
kangayobutIwasencour
aged
byt
hissof
tersi
deal
ivezi
l
eyookondif
iki
l
e.

Me:
"t
her
e'ssomet
hingIhav
etot
ell
you"
Hi
m:"
oh-
kay"

Il
ookedatmydesser
tthenbackathi
m..
.Taki
ngmy
moment.

Hi
m:"
okayt
hisf
eel
sser
ious"
Me:"
iti
s..
.Iuhm,
Ifoundmydad.Act
ual
l
ywentt
o
seehim"
Hi
m:"
yourbi
ologi
cal
fat
her
?When"
?
Me:
"f
ewmont
hsback.He'
sinpr
isonphof
"
Hi
m:"
oh.
..
what
'
shei
nfor
"?
Me:
"andi
yaz,
hedi
dn'
ttel
lme.Rat
her
,hecoul
dn'
ttel
l
mewhenIasked"
Hi
m:"
yho.
..Bat
hini
Oobr
otherbakhokengok"
Me:"
Evei
stheonl
yonewhoknows.
..
besi
desSoso
naweke"
Hi
m:"
soy
out
oldSosoal
ready
"?

Ohcr
ap.
..
don'
ttel
lme.-
_-r
eal
l
y?

Me:"
I.
..Ar
gh.Heaccompani
edmewhenIwentt
o
seehi
m"
Hi
m:"
oh.Whi
chpr
ison"
Me:
"i
nJo'
bur
g"
Him:"
Sosoflewf
rom t
heCapet
oJozi
justf
or
ukukhapha"
?

Itookacoupleofspoonsfrom t
hiscr
èmebr ulé
ndikhendimphol
iseandi
yazyint
onenyusaIhigh-
hi
ghmv anj
exandthet
hangoLwandiso

Hi
m:"
baby
"?
Me:"thi
sguyisact
uall
yumalumekaSoso.Brother
kaFai t
h.SoeweSosoandhismom flewtoJozi
beyobonaifami
lyyabobasol
ebendkhaphakei
nt hat
process"

Hedi
dn'
tbel
i
eveme.
..Icoul
dseei
tinhi
sey
es.

Him:"
sonowt hisTituschapi
syourcousi
n?How
surearey
ouaboutt hisguy?Di
dyoutakebloodt
est
s?
Oranypater
nitytest"?
Me:
"Iknownguy
e..
.y
ouwi
l
lknownawexaumboni
l
e"
Hi
m:"
whendoIseehi
m?What
'shi
sname"
?
Me:
"Bongi
nkosi
..UzombonaxauseJo'
bur
gkal
ok"
Hi
m:"
Bongi
nkosi
"

Ndamjonga.
..Thewayhesai
ditgav
eme
goosebumpsdownmyneck.
Me:
"don'
tgodosomet
hingcr
azy
"
Hi
m:"
me?Cr
azy
?Insul
tley
obabe"
Me:"
mh,ndi
yakwaziNtandoIr
epeatdon'
tgodo
somethi
ngcray-
crayqha"

Hefinishedhi
sdessertsaphumaandhedrovetot
he
beach...
westrol
ledom t
hesandhandinhand.
Sagqibelani
ni?Yhu.
[
10/
10,
19:
29]‪+27730692704‬:
#289

Aftertakingawal katthebeachweheadedhome
sti
llfeel
ingthelovebitefr
om babycupid.Wer i
nsed
ourfeet,Iaskedhimtomakemer ooibosteawhileI
gotinbed. .
.Igotachancet oreal
lytakeagoodlook
atmynewpi eceofbli
ng.I
tlookedreall
yexpensi
ve
though...

Hi
m:"
itwasmadef
ory
ou"
Il
ookedupandsmi
l
ed,
hecamet
obedwi
thmyt
ea

Me:
"i
tsbeaut
if
ul,
looksexpensi
veqha"
Him:"
uexpensiv
enawethat'
swhyIwanted
somethi
nguniquef
oryou.Youwon'
tfi
nditinany
shop"
Me:
"don'
ttel
lmey
oudesi
gnedl
eway
"
Him:
"Ij
ustt
oldy
ounj
eitwasmadef
ory
ou.Onl
y
you"

I
tonl
ysunkinngoku.
..Thedi
amondalonel
ooked
r
avi
shi
ng.It
ookmyt eaandtookasi
p

Him:"
nowthaty
ouf
oundy
ourdad.
..
ndi
zol
obol
a
kubani
"?
Me:
"Idon'
tknow.KuMar
cnoLuuIt
hink"
Hi
m:"
hm"
Iknewthere'
smor ebehi
ndthat'
hm'butIwasn'
t
gonnaaskany t
hingandi
khokwimoody ear
gument
s
tumtchana.

Me:"
thankyouf
ortoday.Meansalothavi
ngy
ou
sacr
if
iceadayoutofyourbusyl
i
feforus"
Him:
"Ienj
oyedspendi
ngt
imewi
thy
ou.Ev
eni
fyou
demandedit
"
Me:
"caci
l
eIhav
etodemandy
oukuzendi
kuf
umane"

Aft
ert hatwejustcuddl
edoursel
vesto
sl
eep...f
oll
owingmor ni
ngSosocall
edtoreschedul
e
ourlunchapparentl
yhehadsomet hi
ngimportantt
o
att
endwi thhi
sdadi nJo'bur
gsoIspentmyday
i
ndoorandl etNtandogot ohisf
ri
ends.

.
..

Aweekl
aterIhadhadenoughofCTIwokeupand
packedmybags...
Imissedbeingalonei
nLuke'
s
house.Nt
andowasobv iousl
youtwhenIpackedso
hewaskindashockedtowalki nandseemeall
packedandreadytogo

Hi
m:"
babe"
?

Icamedownwi
thmyhandbag

Me:
"heyy
ou'
reback"
Hi
m:"
you'
regoi
ng"
?
Me:"
yep.I
'
m gett
inghomesicksoit
sbetter
ndi
godukengokukusemnandicozpret
tysoonmy
moodsareboundtotakeaswing"
Hi
m: "
heh.Kal
okumnt
uuy
axel
axaezohamba.
WorseuMoakekho"
Me:"
don'twor
ryIbookedmy selfat
icketonl
i
neso
j
usttakemetotheairpor
tI'
l
l befi
ne"
Heshookhi sheadandwentt othekit
chen,Itookmy
bagst othecarndamlindaphaya.Intwoday sIhada
doctorsappoint
mentandIwant edDoctorChet t
ynot
j
ustanyot herdoctort
oexami nemesoIr eall
yhad
togohome.Hecameoutanddr ovemet ot he
air
portinsil
enceIknewhe' supset.Hehelpedme
withtheluggage,Iwentthroughtothecustomst hen
wehadl amomentofsay inggoodbye

Me:"Iknowel i
hlobondihambangal
oisnot
i
deal,at
leastIshouldhavecommunicat
edbutpl
ease
ndcelaungacaphuki"
Him:"
Ijustdon'
tunderst
andwhyungandi
xel
elanga
earl
i
erbauy agodukasothatndi
kul
ungi
sel
ele"
Me:
"I
'm okay
"
Hi
m:"
Icanseet
hat
..
.mxm.Whyam Iev
ensur
pri
sed"

IknewIbl
ewi
t.
Boom!
Myf
li
ghtwascal
l
edout
..

Me:
"ohkay
..
.Ihav
etogo.That
'smyf
li
ght
"
Hi
m:"
shar
p"

Iwalkedawayfrom hi
m...Thenstoppedandwalked
backtowherehewasst anding,
Ikissedhim ont
he
cheekthenndahamba.Iknewi nobaingaske
andif
akeimpamabutakakwazi .

Ihadt
hemostdepr
essi
ngf
li
ghtev
er.

AssoonasIl andedIcal
ledmydr i
vers
bazondi t
hathaIheadedstr
aighthome. .
.WhenIgot
homeIcal l
edthepri
sonwher emysupposeddad
wasi mpr i
sonedandaskedtoseehi m kwavuny
wa
soIj ustshoweredandheadedst r
aight
there..
.dr
ivi
ngmyowncarkengok.AssoonasI
arri
vedatt hepri
songatesIcall
edNt ando
Hi
m:"
S'bongi
l
e"
Me:
"ndi
hambekak'
hl
e"
Hi
m:"
sur
e"
Me:
"shar
p"

Ihungup.
..
Ifel
tgui
l
tyt
hough.
AsIwalkedinNtandocal
ledmebacksoItooka
seatononeofthebenchesandtookt
hecallcozI
sensedalect
uremntakadabs.

Me:
"babe"
Him:"
yazandi
ythandil
endl
elauhambengay
oand
kengokasmuchasIt ri
edtobrushi
tasi
deand
i
gnoreit
,Andi
kwazi"
Me:
"oh-
kay"
Hi
m:"
asi
lwi
siyat
hethanjengabant
uabadal
a.I
fwe'
re
t
orai
seumntanatoget
herandatsomepointbui
l
da
famil
ywehavetocommuni
cat
eatal
lti
mesnot
xakumnandi
kuwe"
Me:
"butbabyIt
oldy
ouIj
ustmi
ssedhome"
Him:"sowheny oumi sshomeuv eleuvukeupaki she
withoutsayingawor dkul omnt uuhl al
anay e?
Ibekantikuphiukhulakulonto?S' bongil
ewe' r
eadul ts,
adultsinaser i
ousrelati
onshi p.Orat l
eastIthink,so
ndvelendingaunder standwheny oumakei rrati
onal
decisionsandt henont opofi tyoudon' tsee
anythingwr onginthosedeci sions"

Phew.
..
Idi
dn'
tev
enhav
ethegut
stoar
gue.
Somehowhewasr
ight
.
SonowIhadt
ohumbl
emy
sel
f

Me:
"ndcel
auxol
oZ'
khal
i
"

Hi
m:"
ucel
auxol
obecausey
ouknowy
ou'
rewr
ongor
becauseI
'
mtel
l
ingy
ouur
ongo"
?
Me:"
IknowI'
m wrong,
ndcelaundi
xol
elesthandwa
sam.Iwon'
tevenjust
if
yitndiyay
azindenzerongo
andayi
zophi
ndayenzeke"

Hewasqui
et:
)Iknewheexpectedmet oar
gueand
t
hrowt
antr
ums..
.ndi
mdal
a!Ndidlul
i
lekwesost
age.
Iwant
edtot
estt
hewat
erskesana.
..Justt
oseei
f
I'
mfor
giv
en

Me:"wil
lyoubeabl
etocomef
ort
hedoct
ors
appoint
ment"?
Heexhal
ed.
..
Hi
m:"y
es,
I
'l
lbet
her
e"
Me:
"enkosi
"
Hi
m: "
just
..
.Justdon'
trepeatwhatyoudi
d.Ihat
e
i
t,
nyhaninyhaniandi
ndiphazamisi
l
enamhlanj
e"
Me:
"ndi
yaxol
i
sai
twassel
fi
shofme.
..
"
Hi
m:"
enj
oyt
her
estofy
ourday
"
Me:
"Nt
ando"
Hi
m:"
mh"
?
Me:
"ndi
yakut
handanobandi
kucaphuki
si
le"
Hi
m:"
ndi
yakut
handanam"
Me:
"youmeant
hat
"?
Hi
m:"
youknowIl
ovey
ou"
Me:
"wel
lIj
ustwantt
obesur
ethat
'sal
l
"
Hi
m:"
usur
engoku"
?
Me:
"yep,
hav
eagoodday
"
Hi
m:"
nawe.Andr
est
"
Me:
"wi
l
ldo"
Hi
m:"
ayt
"

Wehungup
Uwentinandwentt
hroughthenor
malr
outi
nesfor
vi
sit
orst
henIwai
tedfort
hisdudet
oappear
..
.he
wal
kedi
nandsatopposi
temesmi
l
ing.

Hi
m:"
ndi
yabonauzewedwa"
Me:
"yeah.
..
unj
ani
"
Hi
m:"
Ican'
tcompl
ain,
you'
regl
owi
ng"
Me:
"mustbet
hef
est
iveseason.Howwasy
our
Xmas"
Hi
m:"
itwasgood.
..
greatev
en"
Me:
"ny
hani
"?
Him:"y
eah..
Igotmyr
eleasedat
eandi
tssoonert
han
Iexpected"

Yho!
AllIcoul
dthi
nkofi
suzohlal
aphi?Howwill
he
manage?Uqalaubomiphantsi
..
.Andthenther
e'smy
fi
ancéwho'ssooogonnadigsomedirtonhim.
[
10/
10,
19:
29]‪+27730692704‬:
#290
Idi
dn'
tknowwhatt
osay
..
.

hi
m:"
youokay
"?
Me:"
yeahI'
mjustwonder
inghowar
eyougoi
ngt
o
st
artover
"
Hi
m:"I
'm agrownmanmnt anam,andbesi
des,uDabs
wakhooffer
edt ohel
pmeoutjustforayearort
wo
t
osettl
endizibonel
ekeemvakoko"
Me:
"ooh,
souzophumel
aeMont
i"?
Hi
m:"ewe"
Me:
"mmh.
..That
'
sgr
eatnews.I
nobauy
avuy
a"

Hesmi
l
ed.
..
wit
hsuchhonest
y.Ial
mostmel
ted

Him:"
ndivuyi
swakubandizophumaapha
ndi
kwazi,
may bewecanbuildafather
-daughter
rel
ati
onshipproper
lywhenI'
m outofthi
splace"
Me:
"t
hatal
ldependsony
ou"
Hi
m:"
me?How"
?
Me:
"t
ell
met
het
rut
h,whyar
eyoui
nher
e"?

Heshif
teduncomf
ort
abl
y.
..Ikeptmyl
ookst
ernand
f
ixedonhim

Hi
m:"
mnt
anam"
Me:"Idon'
tmeantobeinsensi
ti
vebuti
fyoucan'
tbe
honestwithme,
youki
ndadon'tdeser
vetocal
lme
that
"
Hi
m:"
oh.
..
"
Me:"
especi
all
ysi
ncey
ou'
vebeenabsental
lofmy
l
if
e"

Wakhewat
hul
a..
.

Me:"
whatevensur
pri
sesmei
sthatIhavenever
seennotev
enpict
ureofy
our
skwizi
ntozikamama"
Hi
m:"
yeah.
..
kukhoi
sizat
husal
ont
o"
Me:"
Ineverreal
lygott
oaskher.
..
howwasy our
r
elat
ionshi
pwi t
hher?Imean,
weneverspokeabout
youatall
"

Her
eal
l
ybecameuncomf
ort
abl
e..
.
Thatdr
ewal
otofat
tent
ionf
rom me.
..Al
otof
cur
iosi
ty

Me:"
howl ongdidyoudat
eherbeforeshegot
pr
egnant?Whywer eyounevert
here?Didyoudeny
i
mpregnatingherorwhat
"?
Hi
m:"
youhav
etoomanyquest
ionsf
oroneday
"
Me:
"at
leastansweroneoft
hem ke"
Hi
m:"
Ican'
t.
..
I'
m sor
ry"
Me:
"youcan'
tory
ouwon'
t"
?

Waphakama.
..
Hi
m:"
Ihav
etogo,
thanksf
orcomi
ngby
"

Waphumaumnt uwandi shiyandikhami

si
le.It
ookmy
bagndaphumangomny angonam Ihadnoot her
choice.I
nst
eadofgoingst r
aighthomeIwenttothe
ShisaNyamaIneededtot hi
nk...
Lechapi
vel
eyandshi
yany
hani
pha?Heee!

"
Happynewy
ear
,canIgety
ouany
thi
ng"
?

Il
ookedup-
_-Li
bo

Me:
"hi
.What
'
sonspeci
al"
?
Her
:"t
wor
ibs,
sausage,
sal
adofy
ourchoi
ceanda
r
oll
"
Me:
"mi
nust
hesausaget
henaddGr
eeksal
ad"
Her
:"
okaycomi
ngr
ightaway
"
Me:
"pl
sbr
ingmel
argecr
eam sodasol
ong"
Her
:"
yesma'
am"

Shelef
tmeinpeace,
Iwai
tedformyj
uicey
eza
shamequi
ckert
hanexpected

Sosocal
l
edme.
..

Me:
"hel
l
o"
Hi
m:"
hayhayy
int
onwanomoy
aophant
sikangaka"
Me:
"ay
ont
oSoso"
Him:
"babeyouknowmebet
tert
hant
hat
,andy
ou
knowbett
erthanl
yi
ngt
ome"

Isi
ghed.
..
Ndoy
isi
wemnabubom bam shame.
Me:
"mal
umewakhowal
kedoutonmet
oday
"
Hi
m:"
hewhat
"?
Me:
"hewal
kedout
,l
eftmet
her
e"
Hi
m:"
youwentt
ovi
sithi
m"?
Me:"
eweandIwant
edsomeanswer
sbuthe
woul
dn'
tgi
vemeany"
Hi
m:"
giv
ehi
mti
mebabe"
Me:"Lwandisol
omntuuy
aphumasoonandhe
expectsustohavesomekindofrel
ati
onshi
pkodwa
woyiswakuphendul
aimi
buzoendinayo?ThatI
deserveanswer
sto?Hayinobandii
nsensit
ive
shame"
Him:
"khamyekemt
chanaakheaphozisei
ngqondo
butI
'l
lhel
pyouont
hesidendir
esearchekuMaka
Laa"
Me:
"mxm don'
tbother
,I
'
m sur
enoNtandoonhisi
s
r
esear
chi
nghim aswespeakcozakayi
thembi
yonke
l
ent
o"
Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
ry"
Me:
"I
'l
lbef
ine,
don'
twor
ryaboutme"
Him:
"ndi
yabuy
angomsoIhav
etor
egi
sterf
orschool
sowecanhavelal
unch"
Me:
"ul
ate.
..
ndi
l
aphaeGol
inam"
Him:"
heh!Hehntombi
ndi
ni,
i
ndodakhouy
ishi
yenj
ani
yodwangefest
ive"
?
Me:
"haskahe'
sast
rongman"

Hi
m:"
inobasenguHer
cul
es"

Yhondaphelayi
ntsi
ni!Idi
dn'
texpectt
hat
.Ser
iousl
y,I
wasneverready
.

Hi
m:"
nyhani
"
Me:
"nawenj
eushi
ywewedwangef
est
ive"
Hi
m:"haydon'
tgother
e.Soxaul
aphawecanmake
di
nnersi
ncendihambangomsoanyway
"
Me:
"comeov
erI
'
llcook"
Hi
m:"okay
"
Me:
"seey
oul
aterke"
Hi
m:"
seeyou.
..
Yhi
ma,whatshoul
dIbr
ingy
ou?
Wi
ne,
champagneori
cecream"?
Me:"
ratherfi
ndmesomebl
ackseedl
essgr
apesand
pl
ainyogurtmnt
ase"
Hi
m:"
plai
nyogur
t?Ukwi
diet
"?
Me:
"hel
lnoqhanday
bawel
a"
Hi
m:"
heysundot
husaapha.Okay
,l
ater
"
Me:
"lat
er"

Myf
oodwast
aki
ngt
ime.
..
Iwentthroughmysocial
mediaaccount
s.Not
hing
i
nterest
ing.ThenIsawVincewal
ki
nguptowardsmy
tabl
e,i
nabr oadsmil
e

Hi
m:"
ifi
tsnott
heev
erbeaut
if
ulMi
ssSmi
th"
Me:
"Vi
nce,
hey
"
Hecamef orahugndaphakamashameandwe
huggedt
henwesatar oundsancokol
aforacoupl
e
ofminut
es

Him:
"hehmadam,
kudal
asi
ncokol
aandInot
iced
somebli
ng"

Ismil
ed...
noIblushedandshowedhim.Kwabe
sekuf
ikanoLibowi thmyfood,
sheputi
tonthetabl
e
andwalkedaway .Iguessshegott
hemessage
whenNt andorepri
mandedherngal
amini

Me:
"yeahman,
i
njal
olewai
"
Heactual
lyseemedhappyforme...somet
hingI
missedfr
om him.Haven'
tseeni
tinalongti
me

Hi
m:"
I'
m happyf
oryou,
yhoi
ntl
elewai
.I'
m sur
ei
gr
oot
mancustom madethi
s"
Me:
"uy
amazkal
okubhut
'wakhonget
shamba"
Hi
m: "
hehmtchanauzobangumf
azi
wasekhay
a?
Heee!Umdal
akodwaTee"

Ismiled.
..
haymanl ony
akauy andot
husa.Ndagqi
bel
a
nini
uncokolakanjenoVince?AnduLi bo?Wheredi
d
shekeept heat
ti
tude?

Lolsancokol
anoVincendadendagqibaukutya,
I
tr
iedpayinghewouldn'
tall
owme, wancamawat hi
i
tsont hehousetocongrat
ulat
emef orthe
engagementhaikendayekanam soIheadedhome.

Fikaendlinindaziphosaont hecouch..
.i
tsbeena
l
ongday .Afteracoupleofmi nutesndi
phuml eIwent
tofetchmybr ownbox. .
.Somet hi
ngwasnotaddi ng
upkul omfanaunguBongi nkosiandIneeded
answer s.Iwentthrougheachandev er
yitem insi
de
thatboxbutni xukumbonanotev ent
oseei gama
l
akheonev ent hetini
estpieceofpaper.
[
10/
10,
19:
29]‪+27730692704‬:
#291

Thiswholesearchinggotfrust
rat
ing.
..Ndazbona
sendil
il
a.Icr
iedcozIwant edtoknowal otofthi
ngs
buttheonlypersonwhocoul dgivemet heanswers
wasn'tcooperat
ingatall
.Theonlypersonwhom I
sawapi eceofmy selfi
nwassomehowpushi ngme
awayf r
om him...
howcoul dherej
ectmel i
kethat?
Yes.Ifel
trej
ected.Isol
atedeven.
.
..Myphonewasr ingi
ngIlookedatt hescreen
ndaty
hafa.Itookamomentandt ookacoupl eof
breat
hs,
Ilefti
tthereandwentt ocleanmy selfup
anddrankwat erndabuyandamf ounelaback.

Hi
m:"
hey
,ubusynah"
?
Me:
"ha.
ababebuzawt
hini
"
Hi
m:"
wer
eyoucr
ying"
?
Me:
"ha.
a"
Hi
m:"
buty
ourv
oice.
..
"
Me:
"bend'
l
ele"
Hi
m:"
hm.
..
Iwasj
ustchecki
ngupony
ou"
Me:
"enkosi
butI
'
mfi
ne"
Hi
m:"
okay
..
.I
'
llcal
lyouagai
nbef
orey
ousl
eep"
Me:
"sho"
Hi
m:"
ayt
"

Ihungup.
..
wentdownandst
art
edonsupper
.

WhenIwasdoneIj
ustlazedther
eandwatchedTV..
.
Iopt
edt
ocall
ingEv
ely
n,ImissedNathannother:
)

Her
:"
li
lsi
s"
Me:
"hey
,howar
eyou"
Her
:"
we'
regood,
your
sel
f"
?
Me:
"I
'm okay
,wher
e'sBooboo"
?
Her
:"he'
spr
obabl
yint
hekr
aal
wit
hhi
scousi
ns"
Me:
"ooh,
Iwasj
ustmi
ssi
nghi
m"
Her
:"
I'
ll
cal
lyoubef
orehi
sbedt
ime"
Me:
"sur
e"

Wehungup.
..
Ihear
daknocksoIwenttoopenupandther
ewas
Lwandiso:
Dal
lsmil
eswit
haCheckersshoppi
ng
bagandawhit
ebigenvel
ope

Hi
m:"
yesesawsemhl
eyi
ntonkangaka"
?
Me:
"ohpl
ease"

Wehuggedwangena
SakhesancokolanjeethenIwenttodishupforboth
ofussatya.
..Hepouredhimselfaglassofredwine
asdessertwhileIdi
ppedmygr apesintheyoghurt
.
All
thisti
meImanagedt ohidetheri
ngandIknew
hedidn'
tnoticecozhewouldhav esaidsomethi
ng
i
mmedi atel
y
Hi
m:"sowhatdon'
tIknowt
hat
'shappeni
ngi
nyour
l
if
e"
Me:
"wel
l
..
.howmucht
imedoy
ouhav
e"?
Hi
m:"
Ihav
ethewhol
eni
ghtmt
chanam,
khupha"

Ismil
ed,
contempl
ati
ngonwhethert
otell
him about
thepr
egnancyort
heengagementfi
rst
.

Him:
"oh-
kay
,l
ooksl
i
ket
her
e'sal
otI
'
m mi
ssi
ngout
on"
Me:
"pr
omi
sey
ouwon'
tj
udge"
Hi
m:"
ohpl
ease.Real
l
y"?
Me:
"cummonSosof
ondi
n"
Hi
m:"
kayf
ine!Nowt
alk"

It
ookadeepbr
eat
hndamj
onga.
..
Me:
"I
'm pr
egnant
.Agai
n"
Hi
m:"
agai
n"
Me:
"yes"
Hi
m:"
awkhoser
ious"
Me:
"seewhatImeant
"?
Him:
"hayt
yhini
Teezi
khonaiicont
racept
ivesf
ondi
n
whywouldyougoandbepregnantsosoon?Uleqa
phi"
?
Me:"itwasunexpect
edSosoIdi
dn'
tpl
ant
onam
ndothukaokay"
Hi
m:"
uthi
niut
aBeastkengok"
Me:
"he'
sexci
tedasusual
"

Helookedatmeandshookhi
shead.
..Iguesshef
elt
di
sappoint
edneh?

Hi
m:"
arey
ouexci
ted"
?
Me:
"itdoesn'
tmat
ter
"
Hi
m:"i
tdoesn'
t?You'
repr
egnantandi
tdoesn'
t
matt
er?Kanti
what'
sreal
l
ygoingonhereTee"
Me:
"not
hing"
Him:
"didheforcey
out
ogi
vehi
m achi
l
dor
something?"
Me:"
nomani
tsnotl
i
ket
hat
..
.YhoSosokhawy
eke
mfet
hu"
Hi
m:"
ifi
tsnotl
i
ket
hatt
hent
ell
mewhati
tsl
i
ke"

Iexhal
ed.

Me:"Ihav
eepisodesofAUBandbecauseofthatand
theprevi
ousmiscarr
iage,Imi
ghtnotcar
ryf
ull
ter
m.
Sixmonthswouldbeabl essi
ngini
tsown"
Hi
m:"
AUB?Lant
oyeut
erusbl
eedi
ng"
?
Me:
"yes"
Hi
m:"
that
'shect
ic.I
'
m sor
ry"
Me:
"i
tsokay
"
Him:"
souTaBeastakat
het
hisint
ongokutshata
especi
all
ynowt
hathe'
sknockedyouup.Again"?
Me:
"wel
l
..
.uy
afuna"
Hi
m:"
wena?
"

Ishowedhimtheri
ngandhisfacel
i
tup.
..Hepul
l
ed
met owar
dshi
m andsqueezedmesohadIhadto
wriggl
emysel
ffr
ee

Hi
m:"
congr
atul
ati
ons!At
leasthe'
smanni
ngup"
Me:"kudal
aefunabutIwasn'
tready
,Iguesswi
tht
he
compl i
cat
ionsi
nthi
spregnancyIal
soneededtofeel
secured"
Hi
m:"
sowheni
sthebi
gday
"?
Me:"Ihaven'
tthoughtthatfar.Andwithy ouruncl
e's
datebeingmov edupcl ose,I
'
m sti
llI
'm confusi
on
regardi
ngwhoi slegi
blet ostandformet hroughthe
customarylobolanegotiati
ons"
Hi
m:"
speaki
ngabouthi
m..
.Idi
dsomedi
ggi
ngupf
or
y
ou"
Me:
"youdi
d"?
Hi
m:"
justt
hatIdon'
tthi
nky
ouwi
l
lli
kewhaty
ousee"
Me:
"wel
lakuf
ani
nongazi
any
thi
ng"
Hi
m:"
Ihav et
owarny ouokay,
Iwasal
soshockedby
myfi
ndingsbutIt
hinkyou'
reol
denought
ohandle
t
hetr
uth"
Me:
"whatt
rut
h"?

Hedownedhi
sgl
assandgav
emet
heenv
elope

Him:
"ever
ythi
ngisi
nhere,
mnamandi
hambeIhav
e
anearl
yfl
ightt
omorrow"

Itookthewhiteenv el
opeandlookedat
hi
m, waphakamaIf ol
l
owedhim.Wehuggedatt he
doortheIwat chedhim dri
veoutIlockedevery
thi
ng
ndathathalaenvelopeandwentupst air
swit
hit.I
saidaLi l
prayerbeforeopeni
ngitupt henIt
ookout
alli
tscont
ent
sandspr
eadt
hem acr
ossmybednda
funda

Nt
andocal
l
edwhi
l
eIwasbusyr
eadi
ng.
..

Me:
"mmmh"
?
Hi
m:"
sewl
ele"
?
Me:
"nobabe,
I
'mr
eadi
ng"
Hi
m:"
ohwow,
what
'
ssoi
nter
est
ing"
Me:
"wel
l
,Iwentt
oseemydadi
npr
isont
odayneh"
Hi
m:"
youdi
d"?
Me:"
yes,
Ihadafewquest
ionsf
orhi
m buthecoul
dn'
t
answerneyone"
Hi
m:"
hm"
Me:"sonowIgotafi
leonhim,soI
'mjustr
eading
thr
oughitmaybemyanswerscouldbescatt
ered
somewhereinbet
weenthesedocuments"
Hi
m:"
wai
t.
..
yousai
dyougotawhat
?Af
il
e"
Me:
"yes"
Hi
m:"
meani
ngy
oui
nvest
igat
edhi
m"
Me:
"yes.Wel
lpr
act
ical
l
ysomeonei
nvest
igat
edhi
m
f
orme"
Hi
m:"
okay
".

Andt
hencwaka.
..
Nowt
hat
'ssuspi
cious.
..OrI
'
m par
anoi
d?

Me:
"ohkay
..
.Thatwaswei
rd"
Him:"
areyousurebabeyou'
rereadyt
ocheckonthi
s
dude?Imean,hemusthavedonesomethi
ngseri
ous
tobelockedupforsomanyy ear
s"
Me:"
babylomnt
unuy aphumasoonandhewant sus
tohavesomekindofrelat
ionshi
pbuthecan'
tev
en
answerasimpl
equestionendimbuzayona"
?
Him:"
okayke..
.j
ustpromisemeyouwon'tput
your
selfunderalotofst
ress.Wecan'
taf
fordt
hat
r
ightnow"
Me:
"I
'm abi
ggi
rl
"
Him:
"Iknowthatbutwi
thsucht
hingsonecan'
t
cont
rolemot
ions"
Me:
"t
hanksf
orcar
ing"
Hi
m:"
that
'swhatI
'
m her
efor
"
Me:"y
eahyeah,l
ookIhavetogoneh.Don'
tswi
tchoff
yourphoneImightneedsomecomforti
nghal
fway
t
hroughthis"
Hi
m:"
uyay
ibonakengokl
ent
obendt
het
hangay
o"

Il
aughedathi
m

Me:
"t
hatwasaj
oke,
goodni
ght
"
Hi
m:"
zudl
alengezi
ntoezi
ser
ious.Goodni
ght
"

Heee!HambaNt
ando.
SoIwentt
hrougheachandever
ypage,
fr
om hi
m
gr
owingupintheCapeFl
atst
omov i
ngto
Queenst
owninhisearl
yteenageyear
s.Ir
ead
t
hroughever
ysentenceandthenBAM!

HI
SCRI
MES!
Jongangumast erl
echap.Akhocr
ime
angayenzangakwel
imeweyo:
Bur
glar
y
Hi
j
acki
ng
Thef
t
Mur
der
Rape
Dr
ugs
Bankr
obber
y
Tr
aff
icki
ng

Iwassweat
ing.
..
Myar mpi
tswerewet
.Dri
ppingwetcoznowIwas
suddenl
yafr
aidofhi
m.IknowI'
m engagedt
oa
gangst
abuthavi
ngoneasmyf at
herwasn'tpar
tof
anydeal
.Thi
smani sbeyonddangerous.Orwas.I
don'
tknowanymore.I
'm notsosure.

Iwentt
hroughev
eryf
il
e..
.Andt
hen.
..
AsIwasr eadi
ngIsawmymom' snameandot her
women,Iwentbackt otheheadl
i
ne:oheee!Sole
ndodanyhaniyir
apist?Andherapedmymom?
That'
swhyhecoul dn'
tanswermemos!Yhuuu!Iwas
l
ivi
dwithanger.
..

Ical
ledFai
th.
..
mindyou,Itwaspastmidni
ght.her
phonewasr i
ngi
ngwithoutanswer
,It
ri
edagainand
agai
nuntil
shefinal
l
yanswer ed

Her
:"
Tri
na?Ar
eyouokay
?Di
dyouseet
het
ime"
?
Me:
"whatki
ndawi
ckedwomanar
eyou?Huh"
?
Her
:"
erh.
..Whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
"?
Me:
"dammi
tFai
thmanst
opact
ingl
i
keani
diot
!You
t
houghtIwoul
dn'
tfi
ndoutt
haty
ourbrot
herr
aped
mymother?Al
ongwithast
ri
ngofot
herwomen"?

Ihear
dsomeshuf
fl
esandt
hensi
l
ence.
..

Me:
"hehFai
th"
?
Her:
"I
'm sor
ry,
Icoul
dn'
ttel
lyou.I
twasn'
tmy
posi
ti
on"
Me:"soyoudecidedt
omakemest upidneh?You
r
aisedthishopebaIhaveafat
herwhil
styouknew
ver
ywel lt
hathenofather
.He'
safuckedupdamned
r
apist"
!
Her
:"
Tri
na"
Me:"
Ihatey
ou.Ihateyoumor ethanIhat
ehim.
You'
reawoman,amot her,
agrandmother
.How
wouldyouf
eel?Huh?Ifthatwereoneofyourown?
Rapedandlef
ttofendforhersel
f?"
Her
:"
I'
m sor
ry"
Her
:"
sav
eitf
orsomeonewhoneedsi
t.Idon'
tneed
y
ouory
oursor
ry.St
ayt
hehel
lawayf
rom me"

Ihungupandt hrewthephoneatthewall
.Iwasa
mess.Heee.Icouldn'
tbeli
evei
tsti
ll
.Buti
tmade
sense.Icombinedallt
hosepaper
sandputthem
asi
dendal al
a.

Ek'
seniIwentt obath,
hadmybr eakfastt
henIdrove
backtotheprison.Iaskedtoseehim wafika.
..
hesat
down.Ilookedathim withdisgust
.Iwantedtopuke
i
nhisface

Hi
m:"
goodmor
ning.Iseey
oucameagai
n"
Me:"
Iwantedt
olooky
oui
ntheey
ebal
lwhenIt
ell
youthi
s"
Hi
m:"
whati
sit
"
Me:
"Iknowy
our
apedmom"

Heswal
l
owed.
..
har
d.
I
'
m sur
ehi
sthr
oati
mmedi
atel
ywentdr
y.

Me:
"congr
atul
ati
ons.Thest
atebel
i
evesyou'
reno
l
ongerhar
mt othepeopl
e,
you'
renofl
i
ghtri
sk"
Hi
m:"
Iwant
edt
otel
lyou.
..
"
Me:"buty
oudidn'
t,
Ihadtofindoutbymy sel
f.You
knowwhat ?Ihat
eyou.Ihateyouwi t
hpassion.I
fI
hadawayIwoul daskthestatetorever
seyour
rel
easedatecozyoudon'tdeser
veit.You,
youdon't
deservef
reedom"
Him:"
Ipai
dformysi
ns,
I
'm notpr
oudofanyoft
hem
butIdi
dpaymydue"
Me:"
bysitt
inginsi
dehereandget t
ingf
reemeals
ev
eryday?Getti
ngfreeeducat
ionandskil
ls?Ist
hat
whatyoucallpayi
ngforyoursins?YOURsins?"

Ist
oodup. .
.hewaschi
l
led.TheBeastki
ndachi
l
l.
..
le
i
ndicaphuki
sayo.
Me:"y
ou'r
easwi ckedasyoursist
er.Andj
ustsoyou
know,I
'm noty
ourdaughter
.I'
m aSmi t
handIwant
nothi
ngtodowi thyou.Not
hingatall
"

It
ookabagandwal
kedout
.
[
10/
10,
19:
29]‪+27730692704‬:
#292

Iheadedst
rai
ghthome.
IsweartoyouifIweretomeetanyonewho'dstep
onmyt oesI'
dlashout.Ter
ri
bly
.WhenIreached
homeIwentt ostandunderacoldshower
,i
tcooled
meabi tndaphumaandwentt omakemy sel
fa
snack
.
..AfewminutesIheardacarthenahoot-_
-Istood
upandchecked:)andamhoyatu,hehoot
edagai
nI
pret
endedl
ikeIdidn'
thearhi
m wafouna

Me:
"TaBeast
"
Hi
m:"
I'
m out
side"
Me:
"okay
"

Hewassi
l
entf
orami
nut
e..
.Iwai
ted

Hi
m:"
hai
bobabev
ulakal
ok"
Me:
"ooh,
butakhangeut
sho"
Hi
m:"
yho"
!

Hm...
somethi
ngwasupwi t
hhim.Iopenedt
hegate
andwait
ed.Hewalkedi
nwi t
haCharli
e'
sCake
Angel
sbagandhandeditovert
omeasheki ssed
mycheek

Hi
m: "
Idi
dn'
tknowwhichtotake:
redv
elv
etorbl
ack
f
orestsoIt
ookthem bot
h"
Me:
"t
hanky
ou"

Wahl
alaphant
si.
..Ny
hani
!Somet
hingwasupwi
th
hi
m,heseemedangry,
ort
ense..
.orsomet
hing.I'
m
notr
eal
lysur
e.SoIl
efthi
mt hereandwenttomake
hi
m somefood.WhenIwasdoneIt ookhi
sf oodto
hi
mi natr
ayndamnikawaty
a

Hi
m:"
thanks"
Me:
"sur
e"

Igotbusyonmyphonewhil
ekeepinganeyeont he
TVcozIwantedhi
mt or
elaxandtalkcozndi
yabona
i
nkululent
oimt
yay
o.

Hi
m:"
ninj
ani
"?
Me:
"hm"
?
Hi
m:"
how'
sthebabykeepi
ngy
ou"
?
Me:
"oh,
we'
ref
ine.Unj
ani
wena"
?
Hi
m:"
good"
Me:
"babuy
ani
niOoSi
no"
?
Hi
m:"xakuzov
ulwai
zkol
o,y
oumi
sst
hem"
Me:
"yeah"

Heatefi
nishway
obekai si
tyasakheandcameback
t
ositnexttome,
Ilookedathim qui
zzi
cal
ly

Hi
m:"
what
"?
Me:
"r
eal
l
y,whati
swr
ongwi
thy
out
oday
"?
Hi
m:"
not
hing,
I
'mj
ustt
ir
ed"
Me:
"j
ustt
ir
edhuh"
Hi
m:"
comeher
e"

Ir
espondedtohiskiss,
hisl
ipswer
edryert
hant
hey
l
ookedbutfor
tunatelyhehadfr
eshbr
eath.

Me:
"mmh.
.usur
eur
ight
"
Hi
m:"
yesbendkhumbul
awenaqha"
Me:
"iwi
shIbel
i
evedy
ou"
Him:"
you'
rejustpar
anoi
dbaby
..
.so,
didy
ougosee
yourdadagain"

Immediat
elymymoodchanged.
..
I'
m sur
emyf
ace
changedt
oo

Hi
m:"
andt
heansweri
syes"
Me:
"I
'dr
athernott
alkabouthi
m"
Hi
m:"
Iuhm.
..hav
esomenewsf
ory
ou"
Me:
"i
nconj
unct
ionwi
thwhat
"?
Hi
m:"
him"
Me:"It
hinkIknowenoughabouthi
mfornowbaby
.
Let
'schangethesubj
ect"
Hi
m:"
arey
-"
Me:
"pl
ease"
Hi
m:"
okay
.Sowhatdowedonow"
Me:
"yougohome,
att
endt
owhat
everi
tist
hatneeds
y
ourat
tent
ion.I
'
llj
ustsi
ther
eandeatmycakes"
Hi
m:"
uyandi
gxot
hakengok"
Me:
"noI
'
m per
mit
ti
ngy
out
ogo.Bi
gdi
ff
erence"
Hi
m:"
andi
fIdon'
twantt
ogo"
?
Me:"
we'l
lj
ustsi
ther
eandeatcakekal
okno
pr
oblem"
Hi
m:"
let
'sgoov
ert
omypl
aceandchi
l
lther
e"
Me:
"andsonqeni
upaki
sha"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
bri
ngy
ouov
erl
atey
oudon'
tneedt
opack"
Me:
"wena?Undi
buy
ise?That
'
saf
ir
st"
Hi
m:"
ouch"
Me:
"andbesi
des,
we'r
egoingt
ot hedoctortomor
row
soi
twouldn'
thurtsl
eepi
ngatyourplace"
Him:"
wellyouinvi
tedyoursel
fforthesleepov
er,
mna
ndi
thewe'llj
ustspendtheday..
.notthatI'
m
complai
ning"
Me:
"eshe"
Igotupandwenttopackaf ewi t
emsand
medicati
onthenIt
ookonecakeandpackedi ti
nthe
fr
idge,
tookt
hesecondonewi t
hus.Wel ocked
Luke'
shouseandlefti
nbae'scar.Aphendleleni
ndabawelal
anyamabendiyi
tyeizolokoVince
ndamjonga:
)Iknewhe'll
saysomet hi
ng

Hi
m:"
you'
rest
ari
ng"
Me:
"canwegoov
ert
otheShi
saNy
ama"
Hi
m:"
you'
rehungr
y"?
Me:
"nobutndbawel
ainy
ama"

Wathul
a..
.andchangedl
anessohecandr
ivet
othe
pl
ace.

Me:
"t
hanky
ou"
Hi
m:"
shot
"
Wedr i
vef orafewmi nutesandgotof f,
Iwenttoa
vacanttable.
..
hewasf oll
owingslowlybehindme.
Someguy ,
waiter
,camet omyser viceIaskedfor
yester
day'sspecialwathiasi
kho,ndamcengaba
andenzeleIknowi twasaonedaypr omot hingbut
wathiakazokwazi andheof f
eredmet oday'sspeci
al.
Iwasupset

Hi
m:"
andt
hatf
ace"
?
Me:
"masambeay
ikhol
ent
obendi
zoy
funa"
Hi
m:"
iny
amaay
ikho"
?

Theguyexpl
ainedi tt
ohi
m,heaskedbaasini
kea
fewminut
essol ongmakandiphat
hel
eIcream soda
nyhani
lawai
tery ahamba

Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"Iknow,
canwej
ustgo?Sor
ryIwast
edy
ourf
uel
"
Hi
m:"
ndi
yabuy
a"
Hel ef
tmet her
eandwenti nsi
de.Theguyret
urned
withmysoda. .
.af
teracoupleofminut
esNtando
cameoutwi thatrayandputitinf
rontofme.My
facecrackedup:)

Hi
m:"
it
snotf
reshke"
Me:"
yho!Doesn'
tmat
ter
.Thanky
ou.Howdi
dyouget
i
t"
?
Hi
m:"
uVi
nceut
hiebezi
bekel
eizol
osoweki
ndahad
t
owarmi
tup"
Me:
"enkosi
ntwanay
am "

Hewatchedmeadmi ri
nglyasIate.
..
Ithi
nkIwas
moredrawnbythesaucemor ethananything.
Hal
fwayIstoppedandtookacoupleofbr eaths.
..
I
t
henreali
zedIhaven'
tbeenbreat
hing

Hi
m:"
bet
ter
"?
Me:
"muchbet
ter
,awf
uni
"?
Hi
m:"
I'
m cool
"
Me:
"wel
lwecango,
I
'l
lfi
nisht
hisi
nthecar"
Hi
m:"
uzongcol
i
sai
mot
oyam wi
thy
oursaucyhands"

Iroll
edmyey esathim andgotup,wal
kedtowards
hi
scarandIknewhe' df ol
low.I
tsnotl
ikehehasa
choice.WedrovehomeIwast i
red,
Iwenttohi
sbed
ndagqibezel
aukutyalanyamaandcleanedaft
er
my sel
fndalal
a.Hecameupandsatnextt ome

Hi
m:"
ushar
p"
Me:
"Ij
ustwannat
akeanap"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
bedownst
air
s"
Me:
"mmh"

Helef
tAndcl
osedt
hedoor
..
.Icl
osedmyey
es
ndal
ala.
[
10/
10,
19:
29]‪+27730692704‬:
#293

Hewokemeupt hr
eehour
slat
er,
Isatupandl
ooked
athi
m,st
il
lsl
eepi
sh

Hi
m:"
haykudal
aul
elekal
okv
uka"
Me:
"uy
ahamba"
?
Hi
m:'
'
ha.
a"

Ist
ret
ched.
..y
awnedandr ubbedmyeyes.Andi
yi
funi
kel
entoayenzil
eyo.Idon'
tlikebei
ngwokenup,
never
haveandprobablyneverwill
.

Me:
"cany
ougi
vemeaf
ewmor
emi
nut
es?pl
ease"
Hi
m:"
okay
"

Helaynextt
omebusyonhi sphone,
Icov
eredmy
headndaphi
ndandal
ala.SomehowIwasmor et
ir
ed
thanIthought.Andhav i
nghim heremeantIcould
restwit
houtwor r
y,IknewIwassaf e.Acouplemor e
minutesthenmyphoner ang.
..Isearchedf
oritfr
om
undermypi l
lowthenanswer edwi t
houtchecki
ngthe
call
edID

Me:
"mh"
Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
ry.Aboutev
ery
thi
ng"

Isatupconf
used.
Icheckedmyscreen.
..
damn!Inevergavethi
sdude
mynumber !Fai
thmusthavecozSosowoul dnev
er
dothattome.Itookadeepbreat
h,Ntandoeyedme

Me:
"It
houghtImademy
sel
fper
fect
lycl
earl
astt
ime
wespoke"
Him:"
y oudi
d,butndi
cel
auxol
oany way.IknowI
shouldhavetoldyoungokwam butIcouldn'
t.I
'
m
sorr
y"
Me: "
shouldhave,
couldhave,
woul
dhave.
.Idon'
tcare.
AllIknowisIwantnot hi
ngtodowit
hyouory our
family.I
nfactanyonerel
atedtoy
ou"
Him:
"Si
bongil
epl
ease,
Iknowi
tsnoteasyf
indi
ngout
you'
reachi
ldofr
a-"
Me:"
holditri
ghtt
heref
ell
a!Youknownothi
ng!You
knowwhat ?You'
reacoward!Asel
fi
shbast
ardi
zed
coward"

Wat
hul
a!
Iwaspumpi
ngup..
.Icoul
dfeelmycheeksgoi
ng
fr
om pi
nkt
obloodredngumsindo.

Me:"
youdon'
tgett
ocallmeandt el
lme,ME?That
youknowit
snoteasyyetitwaseasyf
oryoutodo
whatyoudi
dandthendisappeart
oGodknows
where"
!
Hi
m:"
mnt
anam ndce-
"
Me:
"unomt
anawena?Umt
hat
haphi
?"
Wat
hul
a..
.agai
n.

Me:"
don'
tcal
lmeagain,
i
fIdecidedt
oseeyouagain
I
'l
lcometoyou.I
fIdon'
t,
thenmoveonwit
hyourli
fe"

Ihungupandwenttothebat
hroom.Ndabuy aand
checkedmessagesf
rom myotherphone,
Ntando
wasawf ul
l
yquiet
.

Me:
"hav
eyoueat
en"
?
Hi
m:"
Iwaswai
ti
ngf
ory
ou.
..
whowast
hat
"
Me:
"Kwakho"

LolIansweredwit
houteventhi
nki
ngaboutt
he
consequencesoftheanswer:)

Hi
m:"
ndi
noKnah"
Me:
"nowyouknow.Let
'
sgodownst
air
sIwantsome
f
rui
tcockt
ail
"

Hewat chedmel eave,

Ireachedtheki
tchenengeka
f
ikiImademy selff
rui
tsaladwith
i
cecream,xandizophumawat higqi

Hi
m:"
sowho'
schi
l
dwe'
rey
'al
ltal
ki
ngabout
"
Me:
"t
her
e'sonl
yonechi
l
dher
e"

Ndamshi y
aandwentt othelounge,
putmyfeetup
ndatya,
LolI'
m surehewasgrowingsomeanger
somewher edeepinhisbel
ly
.Yintonl
eikhwel
eti
sayo
mv anj
e?UqalekuSosonowhesuddenl ywanna
knowwhoI '
mt al
kingwi
thonMYphone?Hai bo.

Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"hm"
Hi
m:"
ngubanl
oubut
het
hanay
e"
Il
ookedathi
m..
.somet
hingfi
shyi
sreal
l
ygoi
ngwi
th
hi
m.Myinsti
nct
sneverl
ie.

Me:
"whyunj
e"?
Hi
m:"
ndi
njani
"
Me:"
unj
e!Uy
akhweleta,
usensi
ti
ve,
utense.What'
s
goi
ngonhere?Ar
ey ouhidi
ngsomethi
ngf r
om me"?
Hi
m:"
hehhaai
kengok.Hidi
ngsomethi
ngl
i
kewhat
?
Whyar
eyouchangingthesubj
ect
"?

Ist
udi
edhi
m..
.uy
axokauNt
andounecher
ryst
ru'
bob!

Me:"I
'
llf
indoutwhatyou'
rehidi
ng,
rat
herwhoyou'
re
hi
ding.Shebetterber
eadykesanacozasoze
ndsokolekangakandi
mithenomit
hakanti
ndi
zogezelekamna"
Hi
m:"
erhIki
ndat
hinky
ou'
reov
err
eact
ingbabywam"
Me:
"f
oryoursakelet
'
shopeI'
mr eal
lyoverr
eact
ing
Nt
andonyhanicozuyobonai
ntoubungayazi
"

Wat
hul
a..
.
Hehmt chanaasozekalok.I
'v
ebeenaround.The
suddenengagement ?Thedoubtinhi
sfri
end's
voi
ceswhenIpi ckedupthecall
?Hismood?Yhu!
AndIswearndizombonaubumuncui fhethinksI
won'tf
indoutwhathe'sdoing.I
fhe'
sreal
lydoingi
t.

Hi
m:"
backt
oyourcal
l
"
Me:
"mxm ngumal
umekaSosomanI
owa"
Hi
m:"
oh.
..
uyf
umenephi
inumbery
akho"
Me:
'
Idon'
treal
l
ycar
e"

Waphakamaandbr
oughtf
oodf
orus

Me;
"I
'
m nothungr
y"
Hi
m:"ul
i
boni
l
eixesha?Okoubut
yei
nyamakwa
Vi
nce"
Me:"
nowI'm eat
ingf
rui
tthatshoul
dcountf
or
somethi
ng"
Hi
m:"
youknowy
ou'
reeat
ingf
ort
wor
ight
"

Ndamj
amel
a.

Hi
m:"
justr
emi
ndi
ngy
ou"

MyiPhonerang-
_-yhot
atakaMoses!Yhi
niyhi
ni
zi
nkosizam!Umntunodadwaboi
noneday ?

Ipi
ckedupt
hecal
lndat
hul
aqha

Her
:"
Tri
na"

Ndat
hul
amna,
phofIwaseat
ingmyf
rui
t
Her:
"Iknowy ou'
rel
istening.LookI'
m sor
ry.I
twasn'
t
mypl acetosayanythingthat'
swhyIwant edyout
o
meethi m bef
orehi
sr eleasesothatyoucanmake
peace"
Me:
"Ndoy
isi
wekeni
niuy
ayaz"
Her:
"we'
reaf
amil
yandallf
ami
l
ieshav
ethei
rown
st
ruggl
esandpr
oblems"
Me:"
I'
veknownf ami
li
estohavethatoneblack
goat
,andthensomehowI 'v
eonlymett womember s
fr
om yourfamilyandbothofyouareblackgoats.
Whatdoest hatsayaboutther
est"
?

Shewentsi
l
ent
..
.
Iwai
ted.
..

Her:
"i
nsul
ti
nguswon'
ttakeawayt
hepainyou'
re
feel
i
ngnorwil
li
ter
aseourbloodi
nyourbl
ood
syst
em"
Me:"
insul
ti
ngyou?I
fIstar
tedtoinsultyouIpr
omise
youwouldn'
thaver
eachedthatsentencewherey
ou
mentionbl
ood"
Her:
"ufunandithi
nikeTrina?Ididn'tsendhimt orape
yourmot her
!Ineveraskedf orhimt obeat hug!I
understandyou'r
ehurti
ngbutI 'm al
sohur t
ingokay,I
sacri
fi
cedmywhol eli
feforhi m andhet hr
ewt hat
backtomyf acebutIst i
l
l f
orgav ehim cozhe'smy
brot
herandf amilyal
way sstickstogethernomat t
er
howbadaper sonmaybe"
Me:"Inev eraskedy outor
ehearsethatspeechfor
me,butthanky ou.Ial
mostfel
tit,
j
ustthatI'
vebeen
aroundt heblockf orawhi
lenowandI 'vecomet o
understandoneort wothi
ngs"
Her
:"
what
'st
hatsupposedt
omean"
Me:
"i
tmeansgetl
ost
.Pret
endyounev
erknew
me,
neversawme.Moveonwit
hyourl
avi
shli
fe"
Her
:"
Tri
napl
s"
Me:"
Iwantnot hi
ngtodowithyouoryourtwisted
fami
ly.Ihav
eenoughdr amainmylif
easi ti
s,Idong
needyouory ourbr
othert
obeaddit
ionalcast
member
s."

Ihungupandwentt
ori
nsemybowl
.
IcamebackandNt
andowast
ext
ing.
..

Me:
"pl
sbor
rowmey
ourcarkey
s"
Hi
m:"
uyaphi
"?
Me:
"ar
ound.Ineedsomeai
r"
Hi
m:"
let
'sr
athert
akeawal
k.Toget
her
"
Me:
"l
eav
eyourphonesbehi
nd"

Hesmi
l
edandleftt
he1phonehehadi
nhi
shand,
I
wor
eahoodi
ethensahamba.
[
10/
10,
19:
29]‪+27730692704‬:
#294

Wewalkedformorethanfor
tyfi
veminut
esin
si
l
ence.Ihadalottot
hinkabout
,myli
fenjewasa
mess.Youknow,t
houghIwasangry
,Ihadtol
ookat
thi
sonadi f
ferentangle.Ihadaf ather.Howmany
peopleoutther ewoul dki
lltohavethat ?Itmusthave
beent heloveIreceivedfrom theSmi thscozIdidn't
feelli
keachi l
dofr ape.Evenwhenmymot herwas
sti
llal
ive,
Ineversensedsomer egr
etsordet est
towardsme.If eltl
ov edthroughoutent ir
elif
e.Maybe
Ineededt i
met oprocesst hiswholet hing,maybeI
will
forgiv
ehi m andacceptt hatheispar tofmyl i
fe.
Ahugeonet hatis.

Ilookedar
ound,
wewereatsomepar k.
..
Idon'
tknow
whenwel ef
tthemai
nroadbuthey
,thiswasmor e
relaxi
ng

Me:
"I
'mt
ir
ed,
canwef
indapl
aceandsi
tdown"
Hi
m:"
ther
e'sabenchony
ourl
eft
,behi
ndt
hatbush"

Wewalkedovert
her
eandsatdown,
Ihadmyf
ace
bet
weenmyhands.Itooki
nacoupl
eofbr
eat
hsand
l
ookedahead.
Hi
m:"
wannat
alki
tout
"
Me:
"doy
out
hinkIwasi
rr
ati
onal
towar
dshi
m"?
Hi
m:"
babe.
..
"
Me:"
look,
heser
vedhissent
enceneh?Forwhat
ever
cr
imeshecommi t
tedbuthe'
ssti
ll
mydad.Right
"?
Him:"
bef
oreIanswer
..
.Tel
lme,
whatdi
dyouf
indout
abouthi
m"?
Me:
"al
otoft
hings,
mai
nlyhi
scr
imesphof
u.Why
"
Him:
"andIguessy
ouf
oundoutabouty
ou,
howy
ou
cameabout"
Me:
"yes"
Hi
m:"
oh-
kay
..
.That
'
sal
l
"?
Me:
"i
sther
emor
e"?

Hedi
dn'
tanswer
..
.Il
ookedathi
m qui
zzi
cal
l
y.

Me:
"Nt
andowhatdoy
ouknowt
hatIdon'
tknow"
?
Hi
m: "
lookbabe,thi
swhol
ethi
ngsoundslikeast
ory
f
rom anancientbookandsomehowitneeds
vi
gil
anceandwi sdom"
Me:
"whatwhol
ethi
ng"
?

Helookedmoreser
ioust
hanI'
veeverseenhi
m.I
wasnowscaredofwhatIdon'
tknow.

Hi
m:"
yourdad,
he'
suhm.
..He'
sGudda'
sdadt
oo"
Me:
"what
"!
?!
Hi
m:"
yeah"

Okaynowmymi ndwasgoingI'm circles.Ihav ea

brotherwho'
salreadyagangsta,Ihav eaf atherwho
wasorst i
lli
sagangsta,Ihaveaf iancéwhoi s
"Thee"gangstaandnowwhat ?Ihav eanot her
brotherwho'
sagangsta?Abi ological brother?Well
half
-brot
herbutstil
l
.Ul
igi
ntsanay e!
Me:
"doesheknowt
hatwesomewhatshar
eaf
ather
"?
Him:
"hedoesnow,hewasther
ewhenRangerwas
doi
ngtheresear
chandIgotsomethi
ngsf
rom hi
m"
Me:
"t
hisi
ssomedeepi
sh"

Icl
osedmyey
es.
..

Me:
"Ineedt
ospeakt
oMar
cus"
Hi
m:"
sur
e,I
'
llgof
indsomet
hingt
oeat
"

Inodandtookoutmyphone,
dial
edMar
candwai
ted
i
nanti
cipat
ion

Hi
m:"
lookwhor
emember
edshehasabi
gbr
other
"
Me:
"hey
.Hoegaandi
t"?
Hi
m:"goed,
youdon'
tsoundt
ool
ekkerwhat
'sup"
Me:
"Ineedy
ou.Cany
oucomet
oJo'
bur
g"?
Hi
m:"hey
,what
'
swr
ong?Tee"
?

Iswal
l
owedal
umpi
nmyt
hroat
.

Hi
m:"
Tri
nal
i
queSmi
th"
Me:
"Ij
ustneedsomeonet
otal
kto"
Hi
m:"
okay
,butIt
houghty
ourboy
fri
endi
sthatsi
de"
Me:
"hei
s"
Hi
m:"
ordi
dyouguy
sfi
ght
"
Me:
"no"

Hewassi
l
entf
orami
nut
e..
.

Hi
m:"
okay
,I
'l
lcomedownt
omor
rowmi
dday
"
Me:
"t
hanky
ou"
Hi
m:"
keepst
rong"
Me:
"ay
t"
Wehungup.
Sosocal
led.
..Ihesi
tat
edabi
tbutr
eal
izedt
hatI
owedhim.Hewasonmycor nerwhenhisf
amil
y
wasn'
t.

Me:
"mpi
ntsham"
Hi
m:"
gcwal
a!Ushar
p"
Me:
"gr
andmt
chanawena"
Hi
m:"
ndi
shar
pmf
ethu,
I'
mjustchecki
ngony
ou"
Me:
"ndi
grandsan"
Hi
m:"
okayke"
Me:
"t
hanksf
orev
ery
thi
ng.
"
Hi
m:"
alway
spl
easur
e"
Me:
"shar
p"

Wehungup,Nt
andoret
urnedwit
haChickenli
cken
bag,
wat
erandabunchofbananas:
)LolIneededthe
wat
ermor
ethant
hef
ood.

Me:
"sot
hisi
sdi
nnerhuh"
?
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tthi
nkwe'
l
lgett
ocookany
thi
ngt
oday
"
Me;
"enkosi
"

It
ookabananaanddr
ankhal
fthebot
tl
e.

Me:"I
'
m goi
nghomest
rai
ghtaf
tert
hedoct
or'
s
appoint
mentneh"
Hi
m:"
okay
,you'
rebr
other
'scomi
ngov
er"
?
Me:
"yes"
Hi
m:"
sho"

Heateinsil
ence.Hisphonerang,herejectedthecal
l
qui
ckl
y,Ii
gnoredthatasifIdi
dn'tseeit.May bei
t
wasn'
tasimportant.I
trangagain,hereject
edit
agai
n.ThenkwangenaIt ext.
..Ndamjonganj e.I
guessIwasdumbtot
hinkhe'
dleav
eal
lhi
sphones
behi
nd.Ushi
yel
eebey
iphet
hewemkanezi
bezi
sepokot
hweni

Me:
"we'
vewal
kedenough.Masi
goduke"

Hewasbusyt ext
ingbackwhosoevertextedhi
m..
.
Ndaphakamaandwal kedtowardshome,bumping
ontoChloeIj
ustwalkedpassedher.Hecame
behindme

Hi
m:"
undi
shi
yel
eni
"
Me:
"youwer
ebusyony
ourphone"
Hi
m:"
iyakhwel
etal
eh"
Me:
"ny
hani
"?
Hi
m:"
ohcummonbabe"
Me:
"l
et'
sjustgohomeandr
est
,If
eel
tir
ed.
Emot
ional
ly"
Wat
hul
a.
ThankGod,
cozIwasl
osi
ngmyt
alki
ng-
moodal
ready
.
[
10/
10,
19:
29]‪+27730692704‬:
#295

Fol
l
owi
ngDay

Iwokeupearl
yandpreparedforourappoi
ntment
wit
hudoctor,
Ididn'
twakehim upcozhealsokinda
neededt
herest.

Iwentt omakemy sel

fmuesl iwit
hplainy oghurtand
tuckedi n,t
henIcookedoat sforhim andassoonasI
fini
sheddi shingup,Hecamedowndr essedal ready
andsomehowwemat ched.Iwassur pri
sedhe
addedabi tofcolortohisatti
recozIhadal lbl
ack
wi t
hBl ueandwhi teAdidaskicks,
heobv iouslyhad
onal lblackjustwithabluemuscl ehuggingv -
neckT
-shir
t
Me:
"semhl
e"
Iki
ssedhi
scheekndamni
kakut
yakwakheandl
eft
him

Hi
m:"
enkosi
"

Hef
oll
owedwat
yaasIbusi
edmy
sel
fonmyphone.

Hi
m:"
babe"
Me:
"mh"
?
Him:
"somethi
ngneedsmyat
tent
ioninEastLondon
sondizoj
i
kanoMoxaeziseuMarcus"
Me:
"uzobuy
ani
ni"
?
Hi
m:"ndi
zozaI
'
m notsur
eokwangokubutndzoqal
a
eKapa"
Me:
"kay
"
Heat eup,weheadedt othedoctorandhadmy
exami nat
iondone.Heaskedhi squesti
ons,recei
ved
hisanswer st
henIwasgi venanewdat eandofcoz
newmedst henweheadedbackt ohiscri
b
ndiy
ot hat
haimpahlazam afterthathetookme
homeandwentt owaitforMosomewher eelsewhil
e
Iwaitedinanti
cipat
ionformybr other
.

Twohoursl
aterMar
car
ri
ved,
Irecei
vedat
extf
rom
baebahe'
sgone.
Waf
ikauMar
cussancokol
anj
eef
orawhi
l
e

Him:
"okay
,whyam Iher
e?I
'
m sur
eit
snotj
ustf
or
somepeptalk"

Her
egoes.
..

Me:"okay,f
ir
stl
y,
Iam pregnant
.Don'tsayit
,Iknow.
Secondly,I
'
m engaged.Thir
dly
,Ihav
ef oundmy
uhm,fatherwhosomehowhappenst obeGudda' s
dadt
oo"

Cwakasanaumnt
asekhay
a.

Me:
"wel
l
..
.saysomet
hing"
Hi
m:"he'
smar
ryi
ngy
ou?Ar
eyousur
eit
swhaty
ou
want
"?
Me:
"Idon'
tknow"
Hi
m:"
buty
ouhav
ehi
sri
ngony
ourf
inger
?Real
l
y"

Nowwasmyt
urnt
obequi
et.
..

Hi
m:"
sobr
aBongsi
syourdad"
Me:
"you.
..
knowhi
m"?
Hi
m:"
hear
dofhi
m.Yho!Thi
sisnotgood"
Me;"
tel
lmeabouti
t.Ohandont
opoft
hat
,If
ound
outt
hatI'
m ar
apechil
d"
Hel
ookedatme

Him:"
youmeanyourmotherwasr
aped?She
concei
vedy
ououtofrape"
Me:
"uhy
ep"
!
Hi
m:"
yho"

Wesati
nsi
l
ence.
Iwenttodri
nkwater,
IthoughtMarcwoul
dhaveall
theanswersasusualbuttodayheseemedoutofhi
s
l
eague.Icamebackandsatdown

Hi
m:"
arey
ouokay
?Inal
loft
his"
?
Me:
"Idon'
tknowanymore.Iwanttobeokay,
Iwant
t
oacceptthi
ngsthewaytheyarecozIcan'
tchange
t
hem buti
tshar
d"
Hi
m:"
Iknow.
..
comeher
e"
Imov
edcl
oserandwehugged.
NowIf el
ttheneedtocry
.Heee!Il
etloose,
myey es
bal
ledoutevery
thi
nginsi
dethosesocketsunti
lIfel
t
fr
eeandlightImovedawayfrom Marcandcleaned
my sel
fup

Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
ryy
ouhav et
ogot hroughalloft
his,
but
t
hisi
showwegr ow.Welear
nfrom thesethi
ngs"
Me:
"yeah"
Him:"
whatIcantel
lyouist
hatgiveyourselft
ime.I
t
mightnotl
ookli
keitnowbuteventual
lyyouwi l
l
for
givehi
m.Andhey ,
l
ookonthebr i
ghtside.You
haveathir
dbrot
her"
Me:"whoalsohappenst
obeagangst
a.Noof
fense
i
ntended"
Hi
m:"notaken.Wellyouaresur
roundedby
t
hugs..
.howdidthathappen"
!?!
Me:"
youcanaskthatagai
n..
.Idon'
tknowman,I
seem t
obeatt
racti
ngalotmor edramathananyof
y
ouguy
s"
Hi
m:"don'
tmenti
ont
hat
,i
tshecti
coutt
her
e.At
least
Ev
ely
nseemst ohav
esett
led"
Me:
"yeah,
thankst
otheRoy
alf
ami
l
y"

Wahl
eka.
..
Wecookedandhadl unchandsuppert ogethercoz
thef ol
lowingdayhewasgoi ngbackt oCT.
Uyigqibil
eebezoyenza.Luucamebyt ogiveme
grocerymoneybef oreMar cl
eftthenhewentback
tohisnewhousewi thhisnewlypregnantwi f
e.Marc
gav emepocketandf uelmoneywhichIt ri
edto
refusedandhej usttoldmethatuntilI
'm off
ici
all
ya
Ntabeni I
'm st
il
lhi
sresponsibi
li
tysoy eahItookthat
money

-
THREEMONTHSDOWN
School wassur prisi
ngl yeasyt hi
sy ear
.Ihadf ew
classestoattendwhi chmademebondwi thmy
bundlemor eof ten.Ihadn' theardfrom Faithorhis
brothersinceear l
yJanuar yandIwasgl ad.Li
fehad
togoon.SonowIwasonmybl essedforthmont h
andaweekort woi nt hispregnancysoIr eall
yhad
hopet hatIwill
r eachlasi xmont hsandbey ond,
as
l
ongasIf oll
owdoct orsor dersandmosti mport
antly
praytoGod.

OnaFr idaywewentt oanexpoatLegal Wi sei

npr ep
fortheupcomi nginternshi
pattheendoft heyear
andIwassol d!Peri
od!Iwantedtobepar tofthat
program sobadandIknewwi t
hjustaLilbitof
determinationIhadabi gchanceinbeingselected
amongot herstudents.WhenwecamebackIwas
ti
redAFbutImi ssedmyni qqalawei.
..

Ir
anmysel
fabat
handsoakedmy
sel
fint
hencal
l
ed
hi
m..
.
Hi
m:'
'
Lil
missSmi
th"
Me:
"nt
ate,
howar
eyou"
Hi
m:"
I'
m gr
eat
,how'
smybaby
"
Me:
"we'
ref
ine,
j
ustmi
ssi
ngy
ou"
Hi
m:"
real
l
y"?
Me:
"hah!What
chumeanr
eal
l
y"?
Hi
m:"
wel
l
..
.babecummon"

Iexhal
ed.
No,
li
keIper
fect
lyunder
standwher
ehe'
scomi
ng
f
rom.

Me:
"IguessIdeser
vet
hat
"
Hi
m:"
uGuddaukuf
umene"
?

Okay
.Subj
ectchanged.
Me:
"ebendi
funaphi
"?
Hi
m:"
ulaphoeJo'
bur
guzekut
atakhe"
Me:
"mnandi
ngenaphi
kengok"
Hi
m:"
you'
reaski
ngt
hewr
ongper
son"
Me:
"kay
"

Well
whatIcal
ledt
osaywasdi
smi
ssedsowhynot
j
usthangup?

Me:
"Iuhm,
hav
etogo"
Hi
m:"
wheni
syourdoct
or'
sappoi
ntment"
?
Me:
"it
sint
womont
hs,
I
'l
ltexty
out
heexactdat
e"
Hi
m:"
twomont
hsuzobeukwi
sixmont
hsmos"
Me:
"yes"
Hi
m:"
sure,
Ihaveatr
ipcomingupanduSinowant
s
t
ospendtheupcomingJunehol
idaywi
thyou"
Me:
"oh"
Hi
m:"
arey
ouupf
ori
t"
?
Me:
"khamcel
eazengoDecembert
orho"
Hi
m:"
ohokaysur
eke"
Me:
"shar
p"

Ihungup.
[
10/
10,
19:
30]‪+27730692704‬:
#296

Ibathedf i
nishthenwentt omakemy sel
fafruit
smoot hiebeforeat tempt i
ngondoi ngmyhomewor k.
Whi l
stbusy ,
Ihear dahoot ingcaroutsideandlooked
throughthev isual i
ntercom Ionlysawabl ackcarso
beingat hug'sfiancéIknewhowdanger ousitwasto
j
ustopenupt ostrangecar s.Thecarhoot edagainI
j
ustdi dn'
tmi ndi t
,Iknewi fitwasanyoneser i
ous
s/he'l
lcallandr i
ghtt hen,myphoner ang

Me:
"l
ow"
Hi
m:"
hey
,ndi
m Guddacany
ouopent
hegat
e"
Me:
"kay
"

Iopenedthegateforhi
m andtheni
namat
terof
secondshewalkedin,
looki
ngsomuchi
ndi
stress
thanIact
uall
ythoughthewouldbe

Hi
m:"
mol
o"
Me:
"eweke"

Hesatdownner
vousl
y

Me:
'
'shoul
dImakey
ouany
thi
ngt
odr
ink?Eat
"?
Hi
m:"
wat
erwi
l
lbef
inet
hanks"

Iwenttofet
chhi
m abottl
eofcol
dwat erndamni
ka
andsatdownwaiti
ng.
..
hedrankacoupleofgul
ps
downthenheli
ft
edhiseyesandlookedatme.
Concer
ned.
Hi
m: "
fewmont
hsbackIf
oundoutwe'
rehal
f-
si
bli
ngs"
Me:
"yeah"
Him:"funnyhowl i
feworks.Zangeaphaebomi ni
ndi
cingelebay ou'dbemysi st
erorI'
dhav easist
er
asamat teroffact.YesIknewt her
e'sahigh
possibil
it
yt hatdadcouldhav emoret hanone
chi
ldrenIj ustdidn'
tthi
nkoneoft hem couldbethi
s
cl
ose"

Idi
dn'
tknowwhatt
osay
..
.

Me:
"yougr
ewupwi
thhi
m"?
Hi
m:"
yes.Al
ongwi
thmyt
woy
oungerbr
other
s"
Me:
"youhav
ebr
other
s?Baphi
"?
Hi
m:"
theyst
udyov
erseast
hankst
oyourboy
fri
end"
Whoawai
t.
NtandoknowsGuddahasbr other
s?Bafundiswa
nguye?Thenhowcomehedi dn'
tknowGudda'sdad?
Oooohwai t
...MaybehedidknowGudda' sdadqha
ebengafuniukut
shokum!Damn!Butshameman, he
neversaidhedoesn'tknowhim.Ndiyamtyhola
ngoku.

Me:
"t
hat
'ski
ndofhi
m.Wher
e'sy
ourmot
her
"?
Hi
m:"
PE,
shel
i
vest
her
e"
Me:
"mmh"
Him:"
look,
Iknowyoual
sodidn'
texpectanyoft
his
butdadisonthever
geofbeingrel
easedthi
smonth
andhe'dli
keusal
ltost
artaf
resh"
Me:
"I'
m cer
tai
nyoucanstar
tafr
eshwithoutme,
I
mean,
yourfamil
yiscompl
eteal
ready
"
Hi
m:"
butnowy
ou'
repar
tofi
ttoo"
Me:
"I
'm sor
ryGuddabutIdon'
tthi
nkIwantt
o"
Hi
m:"
Teepl
ease"
Me;
"what
'
syourr
eal
name,
byt
heway
"?
Hi
m:"
Ayabonga"
Me:"Aya,
Idon'tmeantobeinsul
ti
veorinsensi
ti
ve
butIdon'
tthinkIcanbepartofyourf
ami l
y.Your
fat
her,
isyourfather
.Ibur
iedmyownf ather
"

Hekeptqui
etf
oral
ongt
ime.

Me:
"I
'm sur
enonwabi
l
enowt
hathe'
scomi
ngback"
Hi
m:"
ikhonal
ant
okut
hway
isecondchancemf
ethu"
Me:
"Iknow"
Him:
"t
henmni
ke,
j
ustgett
oknowhi
m.Gett
oknow
us"
Me:"
yazbra,
akhont
oindenzaconfusedmorethan
havi
ngSosoasmycousinandy ouasmybr other
youknow?Andthenontopofital
l,
Mar cusi
sstil
lmy
brot
her"
Him:"
theTit
uskid?Hedoesn'
tevenknowwe'r
e
cousi
ns.Babesemuncuugqibel
akwethukokwabo"
Me:
"yety
ou'
veseenhi
m eKapa,
awt
het
hi"
Him:"
wewereneveraclosefamil
y.Umamakheli
v es
topl
easeherhusband,
Itel
li
tli
keiti
ssoakandi
ginyi
ncam"
Me:"
hm.It'
sli
keNtandoisrunningsomesor
tof
shel
terf
orthi
sdysfunct
ionalf
ami l
yofmi
ne.He
mustbeahero"
Him:
"hehadadi
ff
icul
tupbr
ingi
ngandithas
humbledhi
m.He'
sagoodman, wi
thagoodhear
tIf
youobeyhi
m"
Me:
"andy
oudol
ookobedi
ent"
Hi
m:"It
ry.I
'v
eseenhi
sbadsi
desoIt
ryt
okeepi
nmy
l
aneatallt
imes"
Me:"y
ouspeaksoher oicofhi
m.Doesyourf
ather
knowy ou'
reassoci
atedwithhi
m?Thatyou'
real
soa
gangsta"?

Hechuckl
ed.
Him:"heknows,
he'
snothappyabouti
tbuthe
knows"
Me:
"Iwoul
dn'
twantmychi
l
dleadi
ngt
hiski
ndal
i
fe"
Him:"
wewouldn'
tei
ther
,t
hat
'
swhywesav
eupev
ery
centf
ort
hefutur
e"

Il
ookedathi
m,I'
veneverseenGuddai
nthi
sli
ght
.He
wasdif
fer
entfr
om theGuddaIknow

Me:
"doy
ouhav
eaf
ami
l
yofy
ourown"
?
Hi
m:"
twosonsi
nasi
xyear
sofar
elat
ionshi
p"
Me:
"wow,
whydon'
tyouj
ustmar
ryher
"?
Him:
"wemar
ri
edi
ncour
t,
justt
hatherf
ami
l
ydoesn'
t
l
ikeme"
Me:
"sot
heywon'
tacceptl
obol
a"
Hi
m:"
yeah"

Hahat
ypi
cal
.
I
tfel
tri
ghtt
oal
soopent
ohi
m

Me:
"si
ncewe'
reshar
ing,
yourbosspr
oposed"
Ishowedhi
m myhand.Hesmi
l
ed.

Him:
"he'
sagoodman,
thoughIwouldn'
thavewanted
anyofmyfami
lyt
obeinthisbutasi
nobasayi
thi
ni
cozhe'
smadabouty
ou"
Me:
"wi
shIcoul
dchangehi
m"
Hi
m:"don'
t,
manyhavetr
ied.Justl
ovehimforwhohe
i
s.Andlear
ntoli
stent
ohim,Inoti
cedthat
'sa
weaknessyouhav
e"

Il
aughed.That
'
str
ue

Me:
"wel
lthanksf
ortheadvi
ce.Itmi
ghtnotbeabad
i
deahav
inganaddit
ionalbr
otheraf
teral
l
"
Hi
m:"
justf
indapl
acet
ofor
giv
eyourf
ather
.Iknow
awunangxaki
nam"
Me:
"l
et'
snotpushi
t,
onest
epatat
ime"
Hi
m:"
fai
renough.CanIt
reaty
out
oear
lydi
nner
t
hen"
?
Me:
"i
fsi
zot
yai
nyamat
henIdon'
tmi
nd"
Hi
m:"
aytt
hen,
gety
ourshoes"

:
)

Iwenttowearpumpsandacoatt henwedr oveout

i
nhiscart osomepubandgr i
lldowntown, Idon't
knowwhyIt r
ust edhim soeasi l
y.May beitsbecause
he'
salsooneofNt ando'
smen?Idon' treall
yknow.
Wehadaf ewl aughsov erdinnerthenhedr oveme
homeandwenthi sway .Onceal oneathome, I
missedNt andosomuchi thurtbutIwasn' tgonna
cal
lhim again.Ichangedi ntoPJsandt uckedmy sel
f
i
nbedwi thmyl aptopandmov ies.Nearingmi dni
ght
,
hecall
ed.
Me:
"hm"
?
Hi
m:"
ulel
e"?
Me:
"noI
'
mjustf
ini
shi
ngof
famov
ie,
sup"
?
Hi
m:"
ndi
yakukhumbul
a"

Iswearmyhear
tsmi
l
ed.
..
Me:
"ndi
yakukhumbul
anam"
Hi
m:"
I'
m ser
iouskey
az"
Me:
"ndi
ser
iousnam nj
ebaby
"
Hi
m:"
worset
hisbedsuddenl
ybecameaLi
ltoobi
g
f
orme"
Me:
"how'
stheweat
her
"
Hi
m:"
wor
se"
Me:"maybet
hat
'swhyyoumissme,
youmi
sst
he
cuddli
ngmoret
hantheper
son"
Hi
m:"nguweumnt
uwecuddl
i
ngmnandi
khumbul
a
wena"
Me:
"mmhy
ouknowwher
etof
indme"
Him:"i
fIcoul
dIswearI'dcomengoku,
don'
tquote
meont hisbutIevenl
ongt oheary
ourmoans,y
our
softcr
iesofecstasy"
Me:
"babedon'
t.Idon'
thav
easpar
eyouher
ekal
ok"
Hi
m:"
nam nj
e,
I'
mjustt
rynadr
awt
hispi
ctur
efory
ou"
Me:
"Iknow"
Him:"
pit
yIcan'
taskwhaty
ou'
rewear
ingcozy
ou
havetokeepmybabywarm"
Me:
"ewekalokawukhowenawit
hyourki
ssesand
war
m handstorubmystomachandlower
..
to
war
mth"
Hi
m:"
yho"
Me:
"heeewakhuzakodwaundi
qal
endi
zi
hlel
e"
Hi
m:"
ungumnt
uoway
ethat
hwaphi
babe"
?
Me:"
whyd'y
ouwannaknow?Can'
tfi
ndany
onewi
tha
bodyashot
,sexyandr
eal
asIam"
?
Hi
m:"haven'
tfoundany
onewhokeepsmeawakeat
ni
ghtnotonlythi
nki
ngaboutmaki
ngl
ovet
oherbut
j
ustsi
mpl yt
hinki
ngabouther
"
Me:"mmhIguessI'
mt heluckyonemos,
tohav
eyou
t
hinkingaboutme,
randomly?KodwakeI
'
my our
f
iancésov el
eumelwekundi ci
nga"

Hechuckl
ed,
hear
tfel
t.

Hi
m:"
you'
vet
urnedmei
ntoahopel
essr
omant
ic"
Me:
"I
'm gl
ad,
andIpr
oudl
ytakeal
lcr
edi
t"
Hi
m:"yeahwhat
ever
,l
alangokumychi
l
dneedst
o
r
est"
Me:
"ul
elengokul
omnt
anawakho.Lal
anawe"
Hi
m:"ndiyal
alaf
ondi
n.Kul
ebedi
vel
eyankul
u
mi
raculousl
y"
Me:
"hahahaIl
ovey
ouv
ha"
Hi
m:"
ndi
yaqi
nangawe"

Wehungup.
IknewIwasgonnahav
ethesweet
estdr
eamsev
er.
Hav
ingNt
andotoconf
essl
i
ket
hatt
akesal
otmor
e
t
hanyout
hink.
[
10/
10,
19:
30]‪+27730692704‬:
#297

Aweekl at
ermydadwasreleasedfrom
pr
ison,
actual
l
yadaybefor
ehi srel
easehecal
l
edto
i
nform mendathi
okay
.Ihadnot hi
ngelset
osayt
o
hi
m.Yet .

Fai
thandherhusbandcamet ofetchhi
m bayanay
e
eMontibamenzelayonki
nto.Ical
ledacallf
rom
Guddathreedayslat
er.
..

Me:
"bhut
'Ay
a"
Hi
m:"
heee!Wow,
unj
ani
"
Me:
"I
'm cool
wena"
Hi
m:"
I'
m good,
Iguessy
ouknowdadi
sout
"
Me:
"yep,
hecal
l
edme"
Hi
m:"
ohgr
eat
,soni
yat
het
ha"
?
Me:
"no"

Hebecamesi
l
entf
orami
nut
e.

Hi
m:"
wel
lIwant
edt
oinf
ormyout
hathehascal
l
eda
f
amil
ymeet
ingf
ormont
hend"
Me:
"i
yani
kal
ok"
Hi
m:"
incl
udi
ngy
ou"
Me:"
Guddapl
ease.Khani
meni Ihav
ealotonplat
eI
can'
tdeal
wit
hhimr i
ghtnow,makandi
li
ndendi
be
ri
ghtt
henmaybeI'
llcomearoundevent
uall
y"
Hi
m:"
okayokay
,I
'm sor
ry"
Me:
"yho"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tmeant
oputpr
essur
eony
ouokay
"
Me:
"yeahwhat
ever"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
cal
lyousomeot
hert
ime"
Me:
"shar
p"
Hehungup.
Yhu!

SowhenNt andosai dhehasanupcomi ngtriphe

meantat r
iptoMalawi .Andsomehowt hetri
phadto
benowofal lti
mes,andal lIhadt odoasusual was
tounderstandhi sl
ineofbusi ness.Hewasgonef or
thosetwowhol emont hsandcamebackf ortwo
weeks,onei nwhichwewer egoingtogof oran
appointmentwi tht
hegy necologist
.Helandedin
Joziont heexactappoi ntmentdayandcame
strai
ghttot hedoctor'
sof fi
cecozmnandi ziy
ele
sinceIthoughthewoul dn'tbecomi nganduf i
ke
sendizogqiba

Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
ryI
'
mlat
e,hey
"

Welookedup,
thedoct
orandI
,
uChet
tywamncumel
a
Ij
ustl
ookedathim.
Doc:
"you'
rei
nti
mef
ort
hesonarMrNt
abeni
"
Hi
m:"
ohgood"

Hesatdownandwat ched,
somehowmybabywas
gr
owingimmaculat
elydespi
tewhatt
hedoctorssai
d.
Whentheyweredoneshowingeachotherwhatwas
what
,Igotdr
essedandsatonthebed

Me:
"sowhatdowedonow"
Doc:"
wegiveyouanothermonth,
yourwombseems
tobegraci
ousdespit
eourfear
s.But,
you'
l
lhav
e
for
tni
ghtcheckupsnow"
Me:
"l
ike,
ever
ysecondweekIhav
eacheckup"
?
Doc:
"yes.Pl
easel
i
fty
ourar
m"

Heremov
edt
hepr
essur
est
ickandconduct
edher
r
eport
Doc:
"I
'l
lbebacki
namoment
"
Me:
"sur
e"

Shel
eftus.Iworemysneaker
s,gl
ovesandbeani
e
cozi
twaswi nt
ery.

Hi
m:"
S'bongi
l
e"
Me:
"Nt
ando"
Hi
m:"
I'
m sor
ryIwasl
ateokay
"
Me:
"Ihear
dyout
hef
ir
stt
ime"
Hi
m:"
thenut
shi
ntshel
ent
oni
"?
Me:
"am Isupposedt
ocr
ackupnobaakhoneed"
?
Hi
m:"
heh!I
'
vebeengoneforwhat
,t
womont
hs?And
t
hisi
sawelcomeIget
"?
Me:"
I'
m sur
eyoudidn'
texpectabunchofr
osesand
achocol
atebart
hough"
Wat
hul
a.Isatonthesamepositi
onandtext
edSoso
bat
hebabyisfi
ne,
herespondedngecal
l:)

Me:
"hey
"
Him:"
hey,
goty
ourmessage.Sodoesitmeany
ou'
re
nothavi
ngacaesar
eansecti
onngoku"?
Me:
"f
ornowno"
Hi
m:"
thankGod!Unj
ani
wena"
?
Me:
"I
'mr
eli
evedy
ho,
youhav
enoi
dea"
Him:"
Icanonlyi
magi
ne.MamelakeI'
m comi
ngto
Jo'
burgnextweekuLi
ndouzakwitour
namenty
e
hockey"

Doct
orChet
tywalkedbacki
n..
.Idon'
tknowwhatshe
wassayi
ngkuNtandobuthesignedsomethi
ng

Me:
"oohokay
"
Hi
m:"
youowemel
unch"
Me:
"f
ornt
oni
ngoku"
Hi
m:"
justf
orbei
ngSoso"
Me:
"heee!Okay
,we'
l
ltal
kxasel
eul
apha"
Hi
m:"
okayby
e"
Me:
"sur
e"

Ihungupandl
ookedatNt
ando

Me:
"yi
ntonl
ebuy
isi
gna"
?
Him:
"somethi
ngaboutl
eoper
ati
ony
akho.I
fit
comestot
hat"
Me:"oper
ati
on?Whyi
zof
unai si
gnatur
eyakho
kengokkodwandi
m umntuozosikwa"
?
Him:"
I'
mthef
atheroft
hebaby
,remember
?It
concer
nsmetoo"

Ij
ustr
oll
edmyey
es.
Doc:
"okaywe'
redonefort
heday ,
whenyoucome
backintwoweeksI'
l
lhaveyourbl
oodtest
sready
MsSmi th"
Me:
"t
hanky
ousomuch"
Doc:
"pl
easur
e"

Wewalkedout,
set
tl
edt
hebi
ll
andIwenttomycar
hej
ustwatchedmewit
hhi
shandsonhiswai
st

Hi
m:"
sot
hat
'showi
tsgonnabenow"
?

Igoti
nsi
deandl
ower
edt
hewi
ndow

Me:
"wel
lI'
m goi
nghome,
unl
essy
ouwant
edt
otake
meoutf
orlunch"
Hi
m:"
ohuy
ayi
funay
onai
l
unchkodway
ou'
rei
gnor
ing
me"
Me:
"andi
zongay
ifuni
il
unchbaby
,ohbyt
hewayi
fyou
ar
etaki
ngmef
orl
unchpl
sfi
l
lupmyf
uel
tank"

Helookedatmeamazed,
Isawhi
m shakinghi
shead
ashewalkedcl
osert
omycarandleanedover
saj
ongana

Him:
"soawnayonepet
rol
phezukwal
eyobauf
una
ndi
kukhuphe"
?
Me:
"corr
ection,
ndinay
oi pet
rolbuti
twon'tbeenough
t
odrivearoundnjee.Otherwisei
zofi
kaendli
niand
t
akemet oschool nangomso"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tknowwhyIbot
her
"
Me:
"ut
handai
drama,
that
'sy
ourpr
obl
em"

Hetransf
eredmoneyint
omyaccount
,myphone
beepedIsmil
edandlookedathi
m

Me:
"andazi
kenobay
eyef
uel
okany
eyey
elunch"
?
Him:
"uskewat
hini
nahS'
bongi
l
ewahsar
cast
ic
namhlanj
e"
Me:
"am I
"?

Helookedatme.
..
lacol
dlooki
ndenzandi
godol
e
namathumbu

Hi
m:"
fi
ll
upy
ourt
ankandmeetmeatJohnDor
y'
s"
Me:"
seafoodisnotr
ightf
orumnt
ana,
hecoul
d
cont
actpol
io"
Hi
m:"
steakandr
ibsar
ewor
se"
Me:
"worse?Hayhayr
edmeati
snotsi
cknessr
elat
ed
i
nanyway"
Him:
"obesi
ty,
highbl
oodpr
essur
e,di
abet
es.Shoul
dI
cont
inue"?

Ndamj
amel
anj
e
Hi
m:"JohnDor
y'
s"

Thenhelef
t.
..
Iwentt
ofi
ll
upmyt ankndahamba
ndayakul
oJDwakhewakhendaf
ikasephaya

Me:
"hav
eyouor
der
edy
et"
?
Hi
m:"
no"

Il
i
ftedmyhandandawai
tr
esscamet
oat
tendt
ous

Hi
m:"
doubl
epl
att
eront
oday
'sspeci
al"
Me:
"ext
ral
argef
ri
esandappet
izer"

Shet
ooknot
esandl
eft

Me:
"so,
how'
sMal
awi
"
Hahaha!Mxm.
Hest
udi
edme.Idon'
tknowwhyhedoest
hat

Hi
m:"
busi
nessasusual
"
Me:
"mmh"
Hi
m:"
unj
ani
wena"
Me:
"I
'm good"
Hi
m:"
howgood"
Me:"
verygoodespeci
all
ynowthatIcancarr
ymy
babyanothermont
hANDI '
vebeenacceptedasan
i
nter
nkwaLegal Wise"
Hi
m:"
real
l
y?Sowhendoy
oubegi
n"
Me:
"Nov
ember"
Him:
"uzawubesewbeleki
l
ebyt
hen,
sowhatar
eyou
deci
dingngomntana"
?
Me:
"oht
hat
"
Hi
m:"
yest
hat
"
Ourfoodcamendat yachi
pszam,Iwasser i
ous.I'
m
noteati
nganyseaf oodswhil
epregnantIdon'
tcare
whetherit
satrut
horamy t
h.Myphoner ang,
Ilooked
athim.ItwasKuhleandnormall
ytheycallwhen
they
'rei
ndeepshit

Me:
"Ihav
etot
aket
his,
sor
ry"
Hi
m:"
takei
tkal
ok"
.
.
Me:
"hey
"
Hi
m:"
hey
,howar
eyou"
Me:
"I
'm gr
eatsani
wena"
Hi
m:"
I'
m gr
eat
,whenwer
eyoupl
anni
ngont
ell
i
ngus"
?
Me:
"t
ell
i
ngy
ouwhat
"?
Hi
m:"
thaty
ou'
repr
egnant
,andengaged"
Me:
"heee!I
tsl
i
ppedmymi
nd,
I
'm sor
ry"
Hi
m:"
mh,
sowheni
sthebabydue"
?
Me:
"i
naboutt
wot
othr
eemont
hs"
Hi
m:"wel
lI'
l
lbetherewithhisf
ir
stcar
,zomt
hengel
aI
r
angeefananekatatakhe"
Me:
"hahabutuzoy
ikhwel
anj
ani
naf
ondi
n"
Hi
m:"
izoml
i
ndat
chi
n"
Me:
"wel
lthanky
ou,
but
..
.Ihav
etogo"
Hi
m:"
heee!Ical
l
edy
ou"
Me:
"Iknow,
butandf
unuphel
elwangumzi
ungekaqal
i
f
ondin"
Hi
m:"
oohy
ou'
rewi
tht
hebi
gguy"
Me:
"yep"
Hi
m:"
khamni
kei
phonekhendi
mgezel
e"

Il
ookedatNtandondamnika,
helookedatthescreen
andasmi l
edcreptoutoft
hecorner
sofhismout h.
Astheyweretalki
ng,
Iwaseat
ing.Bagqi
bauthetha
heret
urnedmyphone

Hi
m:"
I'
m st
il
lwai
ti
ng"
Me:
"onwhat
"
Hi
m:"
nowt
haty
ou'
l
lbewor
king,
uzomt
hini
umnt
ana"
?
Me:
"isy
ourof
ferst
il
lst
andi
ng"
?
Hi
m:"
ewe"
Me:
"I
'l
ltakey
ouuponi
t"
Hi
m:"
gooddeci
sion"
Me:
"eshe"
Hi
m:"
whatchangedy
ourmi
nd,
i
fImayask"
Me:
"myl
i
fe"
Hi
m:"
yourl
i
fe"
?
Me:"
Idon'twantmychildtoexper
ienceevena
quart
erofwhatIexperi
encedinli
fe,
gener
all
ysoi
t
wil
lbebetteri
fukhul
elakum"
Hi
m:"
Iheary
ou,
hav
eyouseeny
ourf
athery
et"
Me:
"no"
Hi
m:"
baby
"
Me:
"ha,
aNtando,
don'
tgother
e.I
'
m deal
ingwiththi
s
t
hebestwayIknowri
ghtnowIdon'
tneedpressure.
Pl
ease"

Heat
eup.I
nsi
l
ence.
[
10/
10,
19:
30]‪+27730692704‬:
#298

Whenhewasdonewej
ustsatt
her
e

Hi
m:"
IknowGuddat
oldy
ouabouthi
sbr
other
swho
ar
eli
vi
ngabr
oad"
Me:
"yeah"
Him:"
Iknowy oupr
oll
ythi
nkIknewabouty
our
dad,
wellpar
tl
yIdidqhabendi
ngamazbangu
tat
akhonawe"
Me:"youdon'thav
et oexpl
ain,Iknewsomehowsoze
ungamazi soIdecidednottoasky ouany
thi
ng.I
respecty
ourbusinessethics"
Hi
m:"
yho,
andher
eIt
houghtucaphuki
swey
il
ont
o"
Me:
"Nt
andoI
'
vegr
own,
fort
hisshor
twhi
l
e.Ij
ust
don'
tknowhowwe'
llsepar
atebusi
nesswit
hfami
l
y
whenIhavemybr
othersworki
ngwithyou"
Hi
m:"
theyknowhowt
hisbusi
nesswor
ks"
Me:"thenIguesswewon'thav
eprobl
emskexa
utshoyo,
Ijustdon'
twannabei
nvol
vednaxaseku
badkemnt akamalume"

Wandi
j
ongaakat
het
ha

Me:
"uhambani
niapha"
?
Hi
m:"
sendi
kudi
ki
lenahf
ondi
n"
Me:"
noman,Ij
ustwannaspendtimewit
hyouqha
andi
funi
ukubambezel
aifungxamil
e"
Hi
m:"masambekesyobekai
motoyakhot
henwe'
l
l
gobacktot
heapar
tmentinmycar
"

Igotup..
.andiunder
standwhykuf
unekandi
qal
e
ndcel
ewhenIwannaspendt i
mewithhi
m.But
hey,
I'
m getti
ngwhatIwantanyway
.
Wedrovetomyhome,Iparkedthecari
nt hegar
age
t
henIwentinsi
deandpackedaweekendbag
t
houghIdi
dn'tr
eal
lyknowhowl onghe'
llbehere
t
henndaphumaandwentt ohiminhiscar

Hi
m:"
aweekendbag"
?
Me:
"bendi
kubuzi
l
euhambani
niawandi
phendul
a"

Iputi
tnexttomeatthebackpassengerseat
,
sahamba.Safi
kakwakhekukhotwoguyswaiti
ngat
thedoor

Me:
"whoar
ethosepeopl
e"
Hi
m:"
Idon'
tknow,
j
ustst
aycl
ose"

Westayi
ngcl
oseIdi
d,Ihel
dhi
shandandhisother
handwascar
ryi
ngmybagaswewal kedt
owardsthe
door
Hi
m:"
sur
egent
s"
Guy
:"sur
eta,
sit
huny
wekuwet
a"
Hi
m:"
nguban"
?
Guy
:"nguBr
aBongs"

Hel
ookedatme

Hi
m:"
okay
"

HeopenedthedoorsangenasonkeIwentt
oputmy
bagupstai
rsheat
tendedtotheseguy
sndit
he
xandbuy
aabasekho

Me:
"yourguest
sgoneal
ready"
?
Hi
m:"
yeah,
Ineedt
otakeaqui
ckshower
"
Me:
"sur
e"
Hewentupstai
rstoshower,
Isatonthecouchand
searchedt
heTVf orsomet
hingwatchableunti
lhe
camebackwearingshort
sandsandals,car
ryi
nghis
T-shir
t.

Him:"
babyIhav
etodashforanhourorev
enl
ess
yabo?Ndi
zobuyagou-
gou"
Me:
"haykodwaNt
andof
ondi
nndi
zekuweapha"
Hi
m:"Iknow,
ndi
yosabel
akal
okndi
bizwangumnt
u
omdala"
Me:
"ufunant
onkuwel
otat
a?Khonaebengay
anga
Monti
nah"?
Hi
m:"Ithoughtwedon'
ttal
kaboutbusi
nessev
eni
f
i
tinv
olv
esf amil
y"

Ndat
hul
a.
TherewasnothingIcoul
dsaythatwi
llchangehi
s
mind,makenzeke.Hesatdownandlookedatme,I
l
ookedatt
heTV

Hi
m:"
S'bongi
l
e"
Me:
"baby
"
Hi
m:"
ndi
yosabel
aqhat
henndi
buy
e"
Me:
"hambakal
ok"
Hi
m:"
ndi
ngabuy
iuhambi
l
ekeapha"
Me:
"andi
muncwangaNt
ando"
Him:"akhandi
tshobaumuncuI
'
mjustsay
ingndi
buy
e
usekhona"

Ndathul
amnasti
ll
.Hegotup,
tookhi
scarkeysand
l
eft
.Igotupandwenttot
akesourwormsfrom my
baganddial
edGudda,
itr
angonceandhepickedup

Hi
m:"
Lil
sis"
Me:
"hey
,unj
ani
"
Hi
m:"
I'
m goodunj
ani
wena"
Me:
"notsogood,
Iheary
ourdadi
sher
e"
Hi
m:"
erh,
aboutt
hat
..
."
Me:
"wai
t,
youknew"
?
Hi
m:"
yes.Hewant
stomeett
aBeastt
hat
'sal
l
"
Me:
"meethi
m?I
nconnect
ionwi
thwhat
"?
Hi
m:"
wel
lI'
m sor
ry,
Ican'
tsay
"
Me:
"Guddapl
ease"
Him:
"Tee,
don'tgetinvol
vedanddon'
tev
enthinkof
aski
ngtaBeast.Ifhewannatell
youhewil
l
,don'tnag
hi
m abouti
t.Fory ourowngood"

Mxm.
Somuchf
orbei
ngacar
ingbr
other
!

Me:
"shar
p"
Hi
m:"
Ilov
eyouokay
"
Me:
"mxm by
eby
e"
Wahleka-_-ntonehl
eki say o?Ihadnochoi cebutto
waitforNtandoandi nthatpr ocessIhadt omake
Gudda'sadv i
ceuseful.Icouldn'twai
tupf orlechapI
somehowf el
lasl
eepont hatcouchwi tht
heTVst i
l
l
pl
ayingandsomet i
mel aterifel
thim cov
er i
ngmy
l
egswi thablanki
ei openedmyey es

Me:
"hey
,you'
reback"
Hi
m:"
ndi
kuv
usi
l
e"?

Ishookmyheadandj ustt
urnedtof acet
heot her
way ,
ndaphi
ndandalal
a.Musthav ebeent hetests
kwagqi r
hathatgotmesot ir
ed.Isleptunti
lmidday
:vI'
mr ealgood.WhenIwokeup, Icouldhearsome
othervoi
cesinsidet
hehouse.

Isatupandr ubbedmyeyesthenIwentupstai
rs,
it
wastimet odri
nkoneofthepil
ls.
.t
hemostbitt
erof
em all
.ThenIwenttothebat
hroom ndabuyandehla
Iwantedfrui
txandf
ikaRangerandGuddawer
e
ther
e,eat
ing.

Me:
"Mol
weni
"
Them:
"sur
e"

Iwentt otheki tchenandt ookt wobananasanda

glassofwat erxandizophuma, t
aBeastwal kedi nand
heldmywai st
.Ididn'tev engi vehim achancet o
speak, Il
ockedl i
pswi thhi m Ihear dhim gr
oandeepl y.
Idranki nt hathungr ymanl ysound, hewrappedhi s
armst i
ght erandpul ledmecl osertohimself.Iknew
I'
vebeendr ivi
nghim cr azyl atelywithmynev er
settl
ingmoods.Hebenthi sheadandt ookmy
mout h,drinkingi nmysi ghofsur r
enderashecaught
myupperl ip,suckingitgent lymaki ngmemoan
from thedept hsofmyt hroatasheev enwent
furt
hert ospearhi stonguei nside.Hesomehow
managedt ot akeov er,
hewasnowcont rol
li
ngt his
momentt hatIf oundmy selfmoani ngsome
mor e,pressedmybodyonhi s,forget
ti
ngthatt here'
s
hi
sguy
sel
ounge.Ibr
okef
reeandl
ookedathi
m

Hi
m:"
don'
tdot
hat
,comeher
e"
Me:
"behav
e,y
ouhav
evi
sit
ors"

Iki
ssedhischeekandlef
thim st
il
lhol
dinghisli
ps
ndayohl
alaeloungewi
ththeot
hersthoughIdidn'
t
evenconversemuchcozIwasonWhat sAppmost
oftheti
me

"
Forapr
egnantwoman,
youl
ookt
oobeaut
if
ul"

Il
ookedup.
..Guddawassmi
l
ingatme,
Ntando
walkedi
nandsatnextt
ome

Me:
"hm"
?
Hi
m:"
you'
ret
oobeaut
if
ulf
orapr
egnantwoman"
Me:
"beaut
if
ul?You'
rej
ustsay
ingt
hat
"
Hi
m:"
whywoul
dIl
i
e"?
Me:
"Idon'
tknow,
whydomenl
i
e"?

Rangerwahl
eka.
..

Range:
"nononol
et'
srephr
aset
hatquest
ion,
whydo
peopl
elie"
?
Me:
"hai
keandi
yaz"
Gud:
"youdon'
tl
ie"
?
Me:
"no"

Ntandocoughed:
vInudgedhi
m wi
thmyel
bow
kwahlekwawonkeumntu

Me:"
okayokay,
may
beIdol
i
e.Butonl
yWhenIf
eel
i
t'
snecessar
y"
Range:
"soy
oudol
i
e"
Me:
"Rangerdon'
t"
Range:
"haha!Kal
okIwannamakesur
eIhear
dyou
proper
ly"

Wehadsomeni cetimebeforetheydeci
dedtoleave
usinpeace.Ntandolocked,
Lolkuseearl
y,
pastsix
thenheclosedallcur
tai
nsandwi ndows.
Hecamet
osi
tnextt
ome,
ki
ssi
ngmyneck.
..

Hi
m:"
masi
gqi
bezel
elant
obesi
yenzakal
okbabe"

Il
ookedathi
m ndaphel
ayi
ntsi
ni!Real
l
y?

Me:"l
et'
srat
hercooksupper
,mybabyi
sget
ti
ng
hungry"
Hi
m:"
youj
usthadt
wobananasI
'
m sur
ehe'
l
lsur
viv
e
af
ewminut
es"

It
ouchedhi
sfaceandki
ssedhi
m oncemor
e,he
musthav
ebeencravi
ngitt
hesepastf
ewmont
hsso
whydepr
ivehi
m ofhi
sgoods?
[
10/
10,
19:
30]‪+27730692704‬:
#299

Weki ssed,heli
ft
edmeupandcar ri
edmeupt he
stairst oourroom,ther
eheundressedmebi tbybit
throwi ngmycl othesonthefl
oorandmakingsur e
thateachandev eryreachabl
epartisnotl
eftwit
hout
notice.

Me:
"babe"

Hekissedmyl i
ps,openingem aLi lj
usttogai n
excessinsi
de.Iacceptedhisinvit
ati
onandwent
alongwithhi
senthusiasm.I tmusthav ebeent he
l
ongt imeofdroughtcozitf el
tsogood,likethef i
rst
ti
mebacki nCT.Af t
eracoupl eofmi nuteswel ay
nexttoeachother,
hewasheav ingforbreath.Ijust
wantedtocuddle.Igavehi m afewmi nutestocat ch
hisbreat
hthenImov edcl oserandlaymyheadon
hi
schest,ki
ssi
nghi m beforecl
osingmyey esand
dri
nki
nginthismagni fi
centscentthroughmy
nostr
il
s.Iwassatisfi
ed.Throughandt hrough.He
ki
ssedmyf oreheadanddr ewmeev encloser,
I
wasn'tsl
eepybutIfeltthathewant edt osleep

Me:
"Il
ovey
ou"
Hi
m:"
hm"
?
Me:
"Il
ovey
ou,
forr
eal
"
hi
m:"
Ilov
eyout
oo,
l
etssl
eepbaby
"
Me:
"andozel
imna"

Cwaka.
..

Me:
"ul
ele"
?

LolNtandowal
alasana,
Idr
ewsweetnothingsonhi
s
chest
.Thenndadinwaandgotupndazenzel
aigr
een
teaandtookruskst
henIwalkedbackupst
air
s
ndisi
tyafi
kai
phoneyam i
khalaIputt
hecupdown
andpickedupthecal
l

Me:
"mml
ow"
?
Hi
m:"
hi.Pl
easedon'
thangup"
Me:
"er
h,whoam Ispeaki
ngt
o"?
Hi
m:"
ndi
m ut
a-ndi
m uBongi
nkosi
"
Me:
"oh"
Hi
m:"
canwet
alk?Pl
ease"
Me:
"aboutwhat
"
Him:"
S'bongi
l
endcelauxol
oagainandI'
ll
probabl
y
keepaskingfory
ourfor
giv
enessunti
lyoufor
give
me"

Iputt
hesaucerwi
thrusksdown,goti
nbedand
cover
edmylowerbodysupport
ingmybackwitht
wo
pil
l
ows
Me:
"Idon'
tknowwhaty
ouwantf
rom me"
Him:"
Imightnotdeser
vetosayt
hisbuty
ou'
remy
daughter
.Myonlydaught
er"
Me:
"sof
ar"
Him:"
wellsof
ar,
Iwanttohav
earelat
ionshi
pwi t
h
you.Gett
oknowy ouandbei
nvol
vedinyourli
fe"
Me:
"bei
nvol
vedi
nmyl
i
fe?How"
?
Him:"
Idon'
tknowanythi
ngaboutyousoIjustwant
anopport
unit
ytogettoknowy ou,
I'
vehear
dngo
Ayabongayou'
reagoodperson"
Me:
"soni
yanddi
scusserngoku"
?
Hi
m:"
no,
besi
ncokol
aandy
oucameup"
Me:
"mmh"
Hi
m:"
socanwemeet
?Whi
l
eI'
m st
il
lar
ound"
Me:
"Idon'
tknow,
I
'l
lsee"
Hi
m:"okayke,
you'
l
lcal
lmekul
enumberwheny
ou
makeadecisi
on"
Me:
"sur
e"
Hi
m:"
hav
eagoodni
ght
"
Me:
"t
hanks"

Ihungupndagqi
bezel
aii
ruskszam.
Iwasbusybr owsingonmyt abletwhenInot i
ced
thatAnelisawasintown,Iki
ndaguessedunendoda
entshakecozshe'swayt ooDependantonmen.I ts
i
nhernat ure,
Il
ikedthatstat
usandbr owsed
through..
.Sawamanda' spostabouther
engagementt oX:o.whenIwast i
redofallofthis
browsingIputthephonesasi dendazamaul ala
kwaskekwakhal aiphonekaNt ando,Icheckedt he
callerf
ir
standanswer ed

Me:
"Ranger
"
Hi
m:"
hey
,uphi
ubr
uh"
?
Me:
"ul
ele,
shoul
dIt
akeamessageorndi
mvuse"
?
Hi
m:"
ndcel
aumv
usemf
ethu"
Ishookhi
m abi
t,
heopenedoneey
endamni
ka
i
phoneyakhe

Hi
m:"
hm"
?
Range:
"gr
oot
man,
we'
rei
ndeepshi
t.UBl
aq-
Mamba
ul
apha"

Waxhumal
ohebhedi
ni.
..

Him:
"whatt
hef
uckdoest
hisni
qqawantf
rom me
now"
Range:"
bruh,
he'
swit
hf ourotherguyst
hey'
repaci
ng
outsi
de.Twointhebackyardandt wowit
hhim
efr
ont"
Hi
m:"
kayndi
yeza"
Range:
"shot
a"
Waphakamaandgotdr essed, IwatchedcozIknew
nottoask.Hi sfaci
alexpressi
onsai dal otnjeonits
own.Hebentundert hebedandr emov edar usty
bri
efcaseway iv
ulaandr emov edt woloadedpi st
ols,
a
packetofspikesandexpl osiv
est henlastlya
machet e.OkayIwasscar edneh, butndoy i
ka
nophoxwai fIaskedkwenzekant oni.Whenhewas
donehesatdownandcal ledhisguy sfrom Sowet o
to"hel
p"him,ashesai dthenwabekai phoneand
l
ookedatme.Iwascuddl edupi nmycor nerjust
l
ookingathi m..
.

Hi
m:"
comel
ockup,
I
'l
lbebackbef
oremi
dni
ght
"
Me:
"kay
"

Hemusthav enot i
cedbandiy
oyi
kacozoncewe
wer edownst
airshetur
nedandcuppedmyfacethen
kissedme,If
eltsomeheatinmybell
ymaybeitwas
fearIdon'
tknow
Hi
m:"
Ilov
eyou,
uyay
azl
ont
ori
ght
"?
Inod
Him:
"good,
i
fyounot
iceanythi
ngweir
dwhileI'
m
gonesendmeatext
.Don'tcal
lneh?I
'l
lcal
lyou"
Me:
"soy
ou'
ret
ell
i
ngmeIcoul
dbei
ndanger
"?
Hi
m:"I
'
m notsur
eatt
hemomentbut
,keepy
ourear
s
ont
heground"

Inodandki
ssedhim,f
orasect henheleft
,Il
ocked
upandwentbackupstai
rswhereIreceiv
edat ext
fr
om GuddasoItext
edhim back

Me:
"am Ial
soi
ndanger
"?
Him:"
we'r
eall
indanger
,ungal
ali
justkeepawake
unti
lhecomesback"
Me:
"uy
andoy
iki
saf
ondi
n"
Him:"
Iknow,butthat'
sthereali
tyofourl
ives.But
ri
ghtnow,don'
tthinkaboutthat,
hl
alainoneplace
andkeepalertvha"
Me:
"sho"

Iputmyphoneasi
de.
Ikeptwonderingwhyi sitthatwhenI '
m pr egnant
withhischi
ldkwasol okokusenzekaezi zi
nto?Iwas
cl
oset odel
iverywhenChumawant edt obur nme
withthehouse,nowt hisagai n?Ki ll
aisdeadf orsure
buthispeoplearenotdead.Agangst anev erkeeps
oneteam,he'
sgotni qqaall aroundt heuni verseifke
he'
sassophi sti
cat edast aBeast .Butwhati fayingo
Kil
la?Whatifngut at
akaGudda?Idon' ttrustthat
guy!Butwhywoul dheputhi sson' sli
fei ndanger ?
Justthiswonderingwasdr ivingmenut s.Itook
Ntando'sl
aptopandopenedi t,
passwor dhasn' t
changedthenIwentt hrought henonpr iv
atestuff
j
usttokeepmy selffrom sleepi ng.Afteranhourand
ahalfhecall
ed...
y homyhear tal mostj umpedoutof
mychest

Me:
"baby
?Ar
eyouokay
"?
Hi
m:"
heyr
elaxI
'
mfi
ne,
I
'm onmywayback.Cany
ou
getmet
hef
ir
stai
dki
tuy
ibekeel
ounge"
Me:
"ohkay
"
Hi
m:"
andt
henf
ixupt
hespar
eroom assebl
i
ef"
Me:
"okay
"
Hi
m:"
shar
p"

Iwentt ofixupt hespar eroom whi chhadt wo

doubl ebeds, t henItookt hef ir
stai dki
tnday ibeka
el
oungeandwai t
edforaknock.Theknockonl y
cameaf tert hirtyful
lmi nutesndav ul
abangena,
Rangerhadawoundonhi sl eftshouldersoGudda
nursedi tandbandagedi tbany ukabay ol
ala.Iwent
upstairst oo,If el
tnausea, musthav ebeent hesight
andsmel lofbl oodny hani whenIwasaboutt ogeti
n
bed,Ifeltal l
t hef oodcomi ngupIr antothe
bathroom, bumpi ngontoNt andocomi ngout
ebevasa.Iknel tinfr
ontoft het oi
letseatandout
cameev erything.Hewal kedbacki nandgav emea
glassofwat er ,
Iri
nsedmymout hndaphakama
nday olala
Hi
m:"
ushar
p"?
Me:
"yeah,
goodni
ght
"
Hi
m:'
'
night
"

Icov eredmy sel

fndalala,
hegotbusyonhi slapt
opI
don' tknowunt i
lwhenbutwhenIwokeupt he
followingmor ni
ng..
.hewasn' ti
nbed.Iwashungr y
neh, butIwentt obrushmyt eet
handwashmyf ace
ri
ghtaf terIhadmadet hebedt henIwal ked
downst ai
rsy hondafikaeloungekugcwel ekutheqhu!
Ijustgr eetedandwentt omakemy sel
ffoode
kitchent henmynewl yfoundbr ot
herwal kedin

Hi
m:"
hey
"
Me:
"hey
"
Hi
m:"
didy
ousl
eepwel
l
"?
Me:
"yeah,
Nina"
?
Hi
m:"
nat
hi"
Me:
"beseni
tyi
l
e"?
Him:"
ha.abutwe'r
esti
l
linameet
ingandkusekho
abezayofr
om theCape"
Me:
"yho,
soani
zot
yaunt
ilbaf
ike"
?
Hi
m:"i
fuzosenzel
asingat
yaI'
m sur
ethebi
gguy
won'
tmind,
ifnaweyoudon'tmind"

Ndamjonga,akamcume:vIj
ustsmil
edndabe
sendi
sit
yaIoatmealbr
eakf
astyam wi
thpl
ain
yoghur
t

Me:
"r
ephr
asewhaty
ouj
ustsai
d"
Hi
m:"
wil
lyoupl
easemakeusbr
eakf
ast"
Me:
"ver
ygood,
int
oendi
ngazoy
enzai
nyekubay
i
wai
tr
essyenukemna"
Him:"
nodon'
twor
ryaboutt
hat
,we'
l
lsor
tour
sel
ves
out"
Me:"
sharp,
nizol
i
ndacozIhav
etot
akeaqui
ck
showerbeforet
hat
"
Hi
m:"
nopr
obl
em"

Ismi l
edandwal kedout ,
backupst air
swher eI
fi
nishedmybr eakfastandt hent ooka
shower ,
ndanxi
baanov ersi
zedwhi teT-shir
twith
blacktrackpantsandsl i
pper sthenIwentt omake
okukutya.Seeingthatbaninzi Ihadt othinkwisel
y
otherwisekuzophelaukut y
akukaNt ando
ebengakhangeakongezekef uthi..
.cozhisfri
dge
wasal mostempt y.Howdoy oumakebr eakfast
withouteggs?Itookast ickynot epadandwr ote
downev er
ythi
ngIneededt hent extedGuddaagai n
wezaeki t
chenfoll
owedbyt hemanoft hehouse

Hi
m:"
kuthennamanenidibanel
aeki
tchenl
am,
ni
ne
si
demeetingsngokuGudda"?
Gud:
"heeeh"
!
Me:"babendcel
auni
keuGuddai
mal
ither
e'ssome
t
hingsIneedhimtobuyf
orme"
Hi
m:"
oh,
mal
i
ni"
?
Me:
"Idon'
tknow.
..
agr
andmay
be"

WakhuphaIcar
dwamnikat
henheki
ssedme
waphi
ndel
aelounge.

Gud:
"sowhatdoy
ouneed"
?

Igav ehimt henotewahambasosol ongIst art

edon
chickenliverswithcarameli
zedonionszaninzi,
aft
er
thatIgril
ledsausaget henIhadtowaitforGuddat o
comebackwi t
hot herthi
ngsIsatonthehighst ool
andr espondedt otextszayi
zolo,
phofbendincokola
noAmandandi mbuz angalapostndi
yibonekuf b.
Ntandowal kedinagain

Hi
m:"
kunukakamnandi
apha"

Il
ookedupandsmi
led.Whointhi
sstoneagefeel
s
comfor
tabl
ewal
ki
ngaroundothermeninshor
ts
onl
y?Yeshehasaverygoodbody
,but:
/ev
en
homosexual
scanbehood!

Me:
"awbaweliunxi
bai
ski
pa?Usukekul
ombi
za
Nt
andoplease"
Hi
m:"
nope"

Het
ookaspoonwakhakwi
li
ver
s..
.Guddawal
kedi
n

Me:
"t
hanks"
Hi
m:"
sur
e,ni
phekanobabi
ni"
?
Bae:
"khawhambeuy
ekwamany
eamadoda
magadandil
e"

Wavel
awahlekaumnt
akadadwaphuma,
l
oh
washi
yekaet
hencakum

Hi
m:"
MrsBeast"
Me:"
khawhambenaweuy
ekwamany
eamadoda
anxi
bil
eyo"

Wahl eka,hekissedmyneckandwentt otakeav est

upstairswabuy aenxi bil
eandpr oceededwi t
ht he
meet ing.WhenIwasdoneIcl eanedt heplatesfor
them, packedthem nextt ot hebi gservi
ngbowl s
whichcont ainedoft heirfoodt henIcleanedt he
kit
chen.Bazobonai mi hl
olai fbatyebali
shiya
l
ingcol i
leelakit
chi.JustwhenIt houghtI
'm goingt o
rest
,kwat higqiumnt akaSmi themny angoeki tchen
:D

Him:
"heee!Soj
ymaakdi
ekombui
srui
ksol
ekker
huh"
?

It
urnedandr
anf
orahug!
MnanoMar cussi
ngumt
yanet
hunga,
j
ustl
i
keEv
ely
n
andLuke.
Me:
"l
emmeguess,
y'
al
lcamet
othi
smeet
ing"
?
Him:
"yeah,
thi
sbabyisgoodt
oyou.Ev
eny
our
compl
exionhaschanged"

Wehuggedoncemorethenwabuyel
ael
ounge,
I
askedhi
mtocall
Guddanyhaniweza

Me:'
'
here'
syourfood.Wheny
'al
lhav
eeatenf
ini
sh,
I
wantthi
skit
chentobeexact
lyl
iket
his"
Hi
m:"
yesma'
am"

Ndamshi
yaandwentt
odonothi
ngupstai
rs,
giv
ing
t
hem t
hespacet
heyneededt
odoizi
ntozabo.
[
10/
10,
19:
30]‪+27730692704‬:
#300

Istay
edwi t
huNtandoforaweekt henImovedback
homecozhewasgoi ngbacktoCT.Adayaf terhe
l
eftIcal
ledBongi
nkosi
up,Idon'
tknowwhyIdi dbutI
didanyway.Wesettomeetthatsamedayfor
l
unch,inapubl icar eaofmychoi cewhi chcoul dn'
tbe
Vince'
spl acecozIknowhownewst ravel,
ingangat
hi
Iwasoutonadat exabey i
thethakuy e.Ichosea
steakhousecl osebysoIdi dn'thavet odr i
v ealong
wayar oundt heet oll
s.Idecidedt obel ate.Justto
testhispatience,ndafikaehlel
i wait
ingpat ientl
y
ndabulisaandsatdown, awaitercamewi t
hamenu
ndacelai ci
trusjuicewhi l
egoi ngthroughi menu

Hi
m:"
you'
repr
egnant"
?

Il
ookedupathim..
.Kungonaayi
bonayol
onto?My
j
uiceret
urnedt
henIorder
edsti
ckyri
bswit
hsweet
potat
ofri
es.

Me:
"ar
eyounotgoi
ngt
oor
der
"?
Hi
m:"
today
'sspeci
alpl
ease"

Thewai
tert
ookbackt
hemenusandl
eft
.
Me:
"unj
ani
"?
Hi
m:"
I'
vebeenbet
ter
,you"
Me:
"I
'm good.Sowhyar
eweher
etoday
"
Hi
m:"
tost
artaf
reshIguess"
Me:
"well
wecanonl
ydothati
fyou'
rewil
l
ingtof
ir
st
gobackandt
ell
meever
ythi
ngIneedtoknow"
Hi
m:"
about
"?
Me: "
arey ouser
ious?Theonlyr
easonI
'm herei
fyou
didn'tknowistofindouthowIwasconceived,
whyI
wasconcei vedthatwayandwhywereyounev er
there"
Hi
m:"
it
snoteasyt
alki
ngaboutt
heset
hings,
evenf
or
mesohowmuchmor ekuwe"
Me:"
erh,
Idon'
tmeannodisr
espectbutIdot
hinkI
'
m
bi
genoughtothi
nkaboutmyself
"
Hi
m:"andI
'
myourf
ather
,Ishoul
dknowwhat
'sbest
f
oryou"
Me:
"you'
rer
ight
,y
oushoul
d.Buty
oudon'
t.And
uhm,thatwor
d'fat
her
'can'
tj
ustbet
hrown
around,
yougott
aearnit
"

Ourf
oodcame, Ist
art
edwiththef
ri
es,
Iwasstart
ing
t
owor r
ythatImightgi
vebirt
htoanobesechi
ld.
Ndl
elalendi
zit
yangayoii
fr
ies.

Hi
m:"
yourmom.
..
shewasuhm,
mynei
ghbor
'sni
ece"
Me:
"uh-
huh"
Him:
"Iwoul
dconfessmyl
ovef
orheront
imet
oti
me
andshe'
drej
ectme"
Me:
"why
"
Hi
m:"becauseIwasaganglor
dandbackthen,
noone
want
edt obeseenorassoci
atedwi
thone"
Me:
"kay
"
Him:"
Iwasalreadydati
nguNtsi
ki
,mamaka
Ayabongasheal r
eadyhaduAyaandsemdal
a
kwayena.Si
hlal
isana"
Me:
"sowai
t,
lemmegett
hisst
rai
ght
.Thet
imey
ou
weregoi
ngaft
ermymother
,youwer
eal
readydat
ing
someoneandunomnt
ananaye"?
Hi
m:"ewe,i
tsnotuncommonf oragangst
atohav e
morethanonegirl
fr
iendorchi
ldr
enfrom di
ff
erent
women"
Me;
"yho"
Him:"soay eari
fnottwolat
er,
Iwascomi ngf r
om
Dimbazai twaslat
e.Isawyourmot herendlel
eni
,I
stoppedthecarandoneoft heguy sIwaswi t
h
grabbedherwamf akaemotweni andwedr oveoutof
thatareatooursafehousewhichwasaf ew
kil
omet er
sawayf r
om wherewel iv
ed"

Ihadst
oppedeat
ingbynow.
..
Iwasj
ustl
i
steni
ng.
Hest
oppedt
alki
ng

Me:
"andt
henwhat
"?
Heexhal
ed.
..
Him:"andthentheyuhm,carri
edherinsi
de,drugged
hertocalm downabi tcozshewaski cki
ngand
screaming.Theytiedhertothebedandl ockedus
i
nside.ItwasaftertheactthatIreal
i
zedshewasa
vi
rgincoztherewassomuchbl oodonthebed"
Me:
"okayst
op.I
'
vehear
denough"

Icall
edthewai t
erandpaidforbothofusthen
ndahamba.Ilefthimther
e.Howcoul dhebesocal m
abouthiscruel
ty?Icoul
dn'tl
ist
enanymore,If
eltdir
ty
my sel
f.HeranaftermeasIgoti nt
omycarwaf i
ka
xandival
aicango

Hi
m:"
S'bongi
l
epl
ease"

Istar
tedt hei
gnit
ionanddr ovebackhome.Xandf ika
nankuuSosoi nhisdad'scarhooti
ngnonstop.I
openedt hegateandhedr oveinfi
rst,
Iwasamess.
Tears,nose..
.AndIwasgl adthatitwasSosot hatI
foundatleasthewillnotnagmet osayanythi
ngbut
he'l
lbethecomf ortingt
hatIneed.Igotoutofmy
carsamet i
meashegotoutofhi s,
Ididn'tevengot o
him Ij
ustwentf orthedoorndangenaendl iniand
wentstraighttothebathr oom ndakhuphaev eryt
hing
thatIhadeat enthatday,hecamer unningi ncall
i
ng
mynamebutIcoul dn'
trespond.Heknel tdownnext
tome,gav emeagl assofwat erandacl eanclothto
cleanmy selfupthenwewal kedtogethertomy
room.

Hi
m:"okayTeewhat
'
sgoi
ngon!Whyar
eyoul
i
ke
t
his"
?
Me:
"I-
"

Icouldn'tsayanythi
ngel se,hepull
edmecl oserand
huggedme.Icr i
edkakhul ukengokcozndi thenca
emnwt ini.Hepull
edmydr awer sinsearchof
paracetamol capsul
esandf oundasmal lt
ubof
Panadohegav emet woIdr ankwi t
hwat er
ndakhwel aebhediniandcl osedmyey es.HowI
prayedt hatt
hiswasj ustani ghtmare.Thedet ai
l?
Thedetai
l
smademef eeldi
rty
.Atl
eastitwasnoti
n
abushbutyerr
ritwassti
lli
nastorehousewhere
theypr
obablyr
apedotherwomenorki l
ledot
her
humanbeings.

LateronwhenIwokeup, Sosowasst i
ll
there
wat chi
ngme.Iwentt othebat hroom andcameback
tofindabowl ofchoppedf r
uitanda1l i
treyoghur
t
tubwai ti
ngf
orme.Isatdownnextt ohim ndat
ya
withoutsayi
ngawor d.Hewat chedmeeathal fof
that,It
ookabreakandbr eathed.

Hi
m:"
feel
i
ngbet
ter
"?
Me:
"yeaht
hanky
ou"
Hi
m:"
sot
ell
mewhathappened"
Me:"Iwentt
omeety ouruncl
e,
Iwantedtoknowhow
Iwasconceived.I
tjustgottoomuchIcouldn'
t
handlei
tall
soIwal kedoutonhim ndabuya"
Hi
m:"
I'
m gl
ady
ouf
inal
l
ymethi
m,i
tsonest
epcl
oser
t
oheal
ing"
Me:
"heal
ingSoso?I
'
m brokenr
ightnow,
Ifeel
dir
ty,
I
f
eelunwort
hy.Yhoyouhavenoidea"
Hi
m:"IknowIhav enoideabutbei
ngarapechi
l
d
i
sn'
tyourlabel
.Itdoesn'
thavetobewhoyouare"
Me:
"youwat
chtoomuchTVbabe,
thi
sisr
eal
i
ty.My
r
eal
i
ty.Onet
hatIcan'
tev
enst
omach"
Hi
m:"
giv
eyour
sel
fti
me"

Ndat
hul
amna

Hi
m:"
kudal
aiphone'
aindodakho"
Me:
"uf
unant
on"
?
Hi
m:"
ufunawenaduh"
Me:
"mxm"

Icont
inuedeat
ingt
hefr
uitndagqi
bezel
angey
ogur
t,
Sosookoendij
ongi
le
Hi
m:"
thi
ngsar
est
il
lokaybet
weeny
out
wo"
?
Me:
"uy
axel
a"?
Hi
m:"
I'
m aski
ng"
Me:
"si
rightmf
ethu"
Hi
m:"
wheni
shesendi
ngdel
egat
ionsf
ory
ourl
obol
a"?
Me:
"yeny
eleyoSoso.I
zosi
wakubanil
obol
ayam?
NowthatIsuddenl
yhaveafat
her
"?
Hi
m:"
wenauf
unai
siwekubani
"?
Me:"LukeandMar cus.Theyhavemybesti nt
erests
atheartbutknowinguNt andoisatradit
ionalman,
i
zobanzimal ont
oespeciall
ysinceanotherbrotheris
i
nthepi ct
ure"
Hi
m:"
anot
herbr
other"
?
Me:
'
'Gudda"
Hi
m:"
Guddaasi
nthugGudda?TheeGudda"
?
Me:
"eweLwandi
sot
heeGuddai
syourcousi
n"
Hi
m:"
howdi
dInotknowkengok"
?
Me:
"hah!Youseehowst
upi
dmyl
i
fel
ooks?It
hree
brother
sfrom sixdif
ferentparents,
twosistersfrom
thei
rowndi f
ferentparents.Afatherwhousedt obe
aganglord,afi
ancéwhoi sagangl ordandsomehow
allt
hesebrothersthatIhav emet,areworkingforthi
s
fi
ance.Thenthere'stwowhoar eabr oad,
thanksto
mybaby daddyExplainthathoney "

Ev
enSosowasdumbf
ounded.

Hi
m:"
butbabekuy oyonkel
ent
oyouhav
e
t
hem,
akfaninongabi
namntuatal
l
"
Me:
"andt
hent
her
e'sy
ou"
Hi
m:"
hayndi
theni
mna"
?
Him:"
you'r
ealwaysher
ewhenIneedy
ou,mxm y
ou
shoul
dhav ebeenmyboyf
ri
endkwakuqal
ayaz
Lwandiso"
Him:"
yhongesikwimoemishi
thati
sbiggerthanthi
s
Tee.Unl
ikeLandil
eIknowIwouldhav
esl eptwit
h
you,
backinEL"
Me:
"yho.
.Andt
henwef
indoutwe'
recousi
ns"
Him:"
yhomfethu!ThankGody oudatedLaa.He
savedal
lofusfrom alotofunfor
seendanger"
Me:
"yeahsayt
hatag-
"

Nt
andocal
l
ed.
..

Me:
"babe"
Hi
m:"kuni
nindi
founa,
ufunant
onuTi
tusaphokodwa
wenaulel
e"?
Me:"I
'
m goodthanks,
I
'm sur
eyou'
ref
inet
oo.Byt
he
soundofyourvoi
ce"

Sosogotupandwentdownst
air
s..
.

Hi
m:"
S'bongi
l
e"
Me:
"babywhenwil
lyoustopukhwel
etel
auSoso?
Rel
axmtchana,
we'
recousinsr
emember"?
Heexhaled:
oheee!Mar
akwenzekani
nah
phandl
apha!
?

Hi
m:"unj
ani
umnt
anam "
?
Me:
"she'
sfi
ne"
Hi
m:"
what
'supwi
thy
ourv
oice"
?
Me:
"bendi
l
il
a"
Hi
m:"
ubul
i
la?Kubhubheban"
?
Me:
"khay
ekewet
hu,
uzozaf
orIcheckup"
?
Him:
"nobabeIwon'
tmakeit
,Ical
l
edt
oinf
ormy
ou
ndi
yahambalat
endi
yaeNiger"
Me:
"uy
aeNi
ger
?Forwhat
"?
Hi
m:"
busi
ness"
Me:
"ooh,
uhambekak'
hl
eke"
Him:
"sho,
mamelakendizokut
humel
elai
mal
ifort
he
docneyefuel
phal
ate"
Me:
"i
zobay
imal
i
ni"
?
Hi
m:"
itwi
l
lbeenough"
Me:
"shoacus"
Him:
"ungazulazul
imanS'bongi
l
epls,
andi
naye
nomntuendinomthumel
aazokugadawhil
eI'
m gone"
Me:"
heeehai
bo,
Ionl
ygot
ocl
assnakoVi
ncef
or
i
nyamaqhanje"
Him:"r
athercal
lVi
ncetobringy
oui
nyama.Ineedto
knowy ou'
resafeal
ltheti
memeani
ngqholateyou'
ll
textmebef or
eyousleep"
Me:
"yessi
r"
Hi
m:"
okay
,shar
pke"
Me:
"Nt
ando"
?
Hi
m:"
huh"
?
Me:
"Il
ovey
ou"
Hi
m:"
ndi
yakut
handanam babe"
Me:
"shar
pke"
Hi
m:"
sho"

WhenhehungupIwentt
ojoi
nSosondaf
ikaesi
tya.
Me:
"whenar
eyougoi
ngbackt
oCT"
?
Hi
m:"Idon'
tknow,
butiknowIcan'
tl
eav
eyoual
l
al
onehere.Whyubuza"
Me:"
wel
lyoucoul
dspendaf
ewday
s.I
fyourchi
ck
won'
tmind"
Hi
m:"
I'
ll
tal
ktoherdon'
twor
ry"
Me:
"enkosi
sani
"

ItextedEv e,
shedi
dn'
tr espond.Ical
ledher
,she
di
dn' tpickup.Whatt
hehel lhappenedtoher?
Uny akawonkeokoehl alanoLwando?Hay
unesi bi
ndiumtasest
ru'bob!