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RELATIONSHIPS

6 Things You Should

Never Sacrifice In A
Relationship, No Matter
How In Love You Are
by BRITTNEY MORGAN

MAY 17, 2018

M
aintaining a successful relationship with
someone often means making
compromises to be with each other —
that's just part of being in a partnership. But,
there are some sacrifices you should never make
in a relationship, no matter how much you love
the person you're with.

The thing about loving someone is that it doesn't

cancel out the way that person treats you. Being
in love doesn't mean that you have to give up all
the parts of you that make you who you are. You
have to be a whole, independent person, in a
relationship with another whole, independent
person, and both of you have to be willing to
make things work together. If you're giving up
everything about you just to be with your partner
and they're just taking it all without giving
anything back, that's a major problem.

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No genuinely supportive, loving partner who

wants the best for you (AKA the type of person
everyone deserves to be with) would ask you to
make sacrifices that aren't good for you — so if
you're dating someone who does, it might be
time to reassess your feelings. And if you're not
sure what kinds of sacrifices are too much, here
are six major things you should never give up in a
relationship.

01
Your Goals In Life

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Here's the thing: If you are dating someone who

doesn't want you to pursue your dreams and
achieve your goals, you're in the wrong
relationship — full stop. No one should ever make
you feel like you need to give up your career
aspirations or the goals you have for your future
to be with them. The only person who can make a
decision about your goals in life is you, and in no
way do you deserve to be with someone who
thinks otherwise. And if you and your partner
have different goals and are pursuing things that
might lead you to different places and you want
to stay together, you can figure things out from
there and make compromises that work for both
of you. But even in situations like that, there's no
reason to give up your dreams or to be with
someone who wants you to.

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02
Your Independence

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It doesn't matter how long you've been dating

someone, or even if you have a family together —
some things are just sacred, like your
independence. Sure, being part of a partnership
means considering another person in your
decisions and often making decisions together.
But what it doesn't mean is that you have to turn
over every shred of privacy you have, or your
ability to choose things for yourself and do things
on your own. Both you and your partner get to
have lives outside of your relationship, even when
you're building a life together. You should never
feel like you need to give up all of your
independence to be with someone you love.

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03
Your Friendships

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Look, there are only a set number of hours in a

day, so it can be a bit of a challenge sometimes to
factor in work, personal time, time with your
friends, time for your family, and time for your
partner. Sometimes being in a relationship might
mean that you don't always get to see your
friends as much as you did when you were single,
and that's fine — you can absolutely find ways to
prioritize your friendships and figure this out.
When things become problematic, however, is if
your partner makes you feel bad about spending
time with your friends and family without them,
or asks you to see or talk to them less. Having to
shu#le around your schedule is one thing, but
being made to feel like you need to spend less
time and effort on your friendships is a major red
flag. In a healthy, satisfying relationship with a
loving, trusting partner, there's absolutely no
reason to have to sacrifice your friendships — and
no one should ever make you feel that way.

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04
Your Sense Of Self

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Sure, change is normal — especially as you get

older and experience more things in life. Your
identity is always evolving a little bit at a time as
you learn more about the person you are and the
person you want to be. That's totally healthy.
What's not healthy is losing your sense of self
when you're in a relationship. You should never
feel like you have to water your personality and
your identity for love, and if being in your
relationship makes you forget who you are, it's
probably not the healthiest relationship for you.
No matter who you date, hold onto the things
that make you who you are, and don't give your
identity up for anyone.

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05
Your Hobbies & Interests

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Part of being in a relationship means spending

time with your partner, so it makes sense if some
of your free time gets redirected to date nights.
What you should be wary of is if your partner
demands so much of your time that you no
longer have space in your schedule to dedicate to
your other interests or do things you love. Not
only that, but if your partner makes you feel bad
about taking time out to pursue your hobbies or
puts down your interests in general, that's a big
red flag. You deserve to be with someone who
supports you fully and wants you to do the things
you like — even if they personally aren't interested
in them, and regardless of it taking up a chunk of
your time.

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06
Your Health & Happiness

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No relationship should ever put your health or

your happiness at risk. If your partner or your
relationship is taking a toll on your mental health,
hurting you in any way, or leading you to believe
you don't deserve to be happy, it's not a
relationship you should be in. It doesn't matter
how strong your feelings are for someone, or how
long you've been with them if they do and say
things that are harmful to your health and make
you unhappy all the time. You should never have
to sacrifice your happiness for anyone, and
honestly, a loving partner would never ask that of
you.

After all, at the end of the day, isn't a relationship

supposed to contribute to your happiness, not
detract from it? If you want to spend the rest of
your life with someone, shouldn't you feel even
more like yourself when you're with them?

No matter what, you deserve to be in love with

someone who builds you up, not a person who
breaks you down and expects you to sacrifice
your interests and your independence for them.
Because, you know what? Asking you to give
those things up isn't love.

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