7/5/22, 4:09 PM Gmail - Please unsubscribe

Joel Kelly <joelxoxkelly@gmail.com>

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1 message

Daniel Throssell <daniel@persuasivepage.com> 4 July 2022 at 12:35

To: joelxoxkelly@gmail.com

This might be the last email you ever read from me.
 
At least … if you’re easily offended.
 
Because it’s probably going to hurt your feelings.
 
It’s also likely to shock, disgust and offend you … all at the same time.
 
And … that is quite

on purpose.
 
Because before I let you out of this Parallel Welcome Sequence… 
 
I need to know that you’ve got a thick enough skin to handle me in my
more ‘obnoxious’ moments … without getting too hurt or offended.
 
This is, after all, a daily (and sometimes much-more-than-daily)
newsletter … and I like to build relationships for the long haul.
 
And the truth is…
 
I am GOING to push your buttons

sooner or later.
 
I know it. I can’t help it. I write with pretty much zero filter. So I at least
want to do you the service of doing it now, before you invest any more
time/money/interest in me.
 
So best that I come clean to you now about who I really am … and do my
best to make you dislike me.

And thus, let us now stick a gag into fun-Daniel’s mouth…

 

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…wait, hang on, what? I didn’t know we were—is that DUCT TAPE?—no,
please—no—no!—NOOOOOmmmmffffhhfffnnggg 
 
And now…
 
 
 
It’s time to make you

unsubscribe, sunshine.
 
 
So let’s you and I riff on this for a moment:
 
By now, you’ve seen enough of my stuff to know that this email list — and
the way I teach & write copy — is unique.
 
There is NO copywriter out there doing anything comparable.
 
If you disagree…
 
Well, I literally
do not care 🤷‍♂️
 
Even if my homepage were NOT full of the world’s most successful
marketers & copywriters saying the same thing…
 
My sales results & achievements speak much louder than anyone else's
opinion of me could do.
 
And here’s what this means:
 
Unlike other people with email lists…
 
I do NOT consider you to be “doing me a favour” by
reading my marketing emails.
 
Go on any copywriting group online … ask for the best copywriters to
subscribe to … and you will almost always see MY name come up.
 
The way I see it, my emails are NOT a commodity like every other
copywriter’s…
 
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They are a rare and

valuable good.
 
And one you can only get from my email list.
 
Which means … I am the one offering you the privilege of reading them.
 
You are totally free to disagree, and unsubscribe and take your
readership elsewhere.
 
Or you are free to stay — and enjoy & study my emails, as thousands of
other copywriters do.
 
I truly am not bothered.
 
But either way…
 
I am NOT going to change what I do, or how I write, for
your (or anyone’s) sake.
 
You might be puzzled at why I say this now.
 
But the fact is, so far you’ve just seen the “fun” side of me.
 
However… 
 
During promotions and launches, I can email really aggressively. (My
current record is eight emails in a day … who knows, one day I might
break that.)
 
Also:
 
I’m one of the most controversial
copywriters in the industry.
 
I'm irreverent, cheeky, and freely pick fights with people who I do not
consider worthy of as much respect as THEY think they themselves
deserve.
 
I call out dodgy and predatory behaviour in our industry — often naming
names.
 

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I get plenty of hate mail from people who I’ve offended or upset with
“politically incorrect” views that I refused to back down from.
 
And I frequently express views other people are too scared to express.
 
(For example: I think that if you are a non-native speaker with noticeably
bad English — i.e. most of the people I see posting in copywriting
Facebook groups and subreddits — trying to break into the English
copywriting market is going to be so hard that you should probably quit.
Copywriting gurus who tell such people “you don’t need good English!”
and that “there’s room for everyone!” are lying charlatans, trying to make
money off people who don’t have a hope.)
 
Accordingly…
 
My legions of haters have variously attacked me or my views as
“insensitive”, “arrogant”, “racist”, “narcissistic”, “irritating”, “sexist”,
“abusive”, “immature”, and … well, let’s just say, a bunch of other words
that I wouldn’t want my mother to read.
 
Are they right?
 
Depends on your POV, I guess.
 
Deep down…
 
Everything I do comes out of a desire to do good for
people in this industry.
 
But not everyone sees it that way … and I am totally fine with their
misconceptions.
 
Because one thing is for sure:
 
Each time, I unashamedly take advantage of their hate mail to make
more sales 😇
 
Anyway … I’m giving you fair warning about what you’re in for if you stick
around.
 
But just so we are crystal clear…
 

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Here are the ground rules

for staying on my email list:

You don’t like something I say? Roll your eyes and move on with
your day. 

You find my imagination and sense of humour “childish” and

“unprofessional”? Too bad. 

You got offended by a “politically incorrect” remark I made?

Toughen up. 

You think my use of tactics like mockery, sarcasm, and fiery honesty
to convey my point is “un-Christian?” Go and actually study the
Bible — where you’ll find all the above. 

It bothers you that all my courses are delivered on a smartphone,

and you don’t like watching courses on your tiny smartphone
screen? Buy a big enough phone next time. 

You don’t like how I choose to sell, position or deliver a particular

product? Don’t buy it. 

You don’t like that I didn’t take the time away from my kids to
personally reply to your email question to me — which I didn’t ask
for, you didn’t pay me to answer, and is one of hundreds in my
inbox? Don’t be so selfish. 

You think I’m sending too many emails in a day? Use the delete
key. 

Or the catch-all solution to all of the above:

 
If you don’t like me…
 
Please unsubscribe.
 
Now like I said, I hope this email ruffled your feathers.
 
Because in my experience, there are only three ways people react to this
email:

1. You smirk, nod your head, and think “Respect, I like this guy’s
attitude”

2. You are kinda annoyed by this email — but either shrug it off and
get on with your day, or quietly unsubscribe << Our Most Popular
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7/5/22, 4:09 PM Gmail - Please unsubscribe

Option! 

3. You are triggered to unsubscribe, but not before you have the “last
word” — maybe some passive-aggressive drive-by like “lmao” or,
even better, a “disappointed” reply like “You lost me with this one,
Daniel.”

Which option you choose tells me a lot about you as a customer … and a
person.
 
But … that’s quite enough obnoxiousness for one email.
 
And I think we can un-gag my fun side again now—
 
Yoink!
 
*gasp* OH MY GOSH YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HORRIBLE IT WAS I
COULDN'T EVEN BREATHEEEEEE 😭 WHAT MEAN STUFF WERE
YOU SAYING TO MY READERS? DO THEY HATE ME NOW?!?
 
…erm *ahem* I mean:
 
I imagine the easily-offended people didn’t make it through half of that.
 
But if you did make it through?
 
If you can actually — oh, what’s that old-fashioned concept — tolerate
people even if you don't agree with every one of their views?
 
Well … then you’re
all right by me, Joel.
 
And I accept you to graduate from my Parallel Welcome Sequence.
 
Yes…
 
This was the last email.
 
So I had to give your cage a bit of a rattle.
 
(And while I would love to say I thought of that subject line by myself, all
the credit — or blame? — for that one goes to my pal Shiv Shetti, who
first used it on me.)
 
https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/?ik=f7892f58d2&view=pt&search=all&permthid=thread-f%3A1737444400582404446&simpl=msg-f%3A1737444… 6/8
7/5/22, 4:09 PM Gmail - Please unsubscribe

But by clicking the link below…

 
You will exit my Parallel Welcome Sequence, and begin
getting my 'live' daily emails.
 
It's kind of thrilling, when you think of it.
 
Everything until now has been canned and pre-written.
 
Who knows what's happening on my list in 'real time'?
 
Am I in the thick of some raging controversy in the copywriting world?
 
Am I finishing some aggressive promotion, sending 8 emails per day,
which will begin to pummel your inbox the second you leave?
 
Have I actually gone out of business … and you're just reading the last
vestiges of my autoresponder now?
 
There's no way to know…
 
Except by using your time-travel remote one last time to…
 
 

EXIT THE PWS

And begin following along 
with my 'live' emails  
 
 
Thanks for playing along,
 
Daniel Throssell
 

"I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to
every one that believeth." –Romans 1:16

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you're really angry at me, hit it hard. It won't make a difference, but it might help you calm
down.)

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