Alpharic Research

Institute
Centre for Research in Philosophy, Theology and
Ethics
Email: alpharicinstitute@gmail.com 09066927954

MARRIAGEAND DIVORCE IN IHECHIOWA COMMUNITY:

A SOCIOLOGICAL ENGAGEMENT

BY
GODSWILL OME UFERE
Email: uferegodswillmatthias@gmail.com, godswillmatthias99@gmail.com; __GSM: +2347045155575
JUNE, 2021

INTRODUCTION perspective or in Christianity the idea of

Marriage is the oldest and the most cherished
institution that every society in the world has
undergone or went through their unique
practices religiously, economically, socially
and politically. Marriage is an institution,
designed by God to form a permanent union
and premeditated and articulated divine union,
between one man and one woman as husband
and wife for life so marriage is instituted by
God as a typology of humans' relationship
with God, The Father, The Son and The Holy
Spirit. Families as a social group whose
members are related by blood, marriage or
adoption are students of this institution.
Marriage is the legal union of a man and his
wife. From the above we see two phrases that
clearly reveals God’s mind about marriage
and they are; “permanent union" and “for
life." This reveals that in the Christian
1
marriage is that it is a lifelong process as well
as permanent. The subject of divorce is so
controversial that so many scholars have their
different opinions about it. But God is not
silent in scriptures concerning divorce and
remarriage, until the Christian family is healed
of this chronic disease of divorce, the church
will not stop experiencing the negativities that
are seen in her as it has to do with the moral
excellence and the exemplary life that ought to
be seen in life of her adherents.
According to Musa “organization,
coordination and distribution of societal
wealth, is only easy and possible through an
established system, and no system is more
realistic than the family” (43). Culture and
tradition in Africa have shown that a person is
honoured and becomes responsible if he
marries. Marriage accelerates and enhances
social relationships between people. Marriage
is a lifelong activity, if it is made with the
acceptance of both the two parties. But there
are certain natural and artificial instances that
occur and bring about marital instabilities in
marriage activities whose end results are
divorce. Divorce is mainly caused by political,
economic, social and religious factors. Francis
is of the opinion that conflict between couples
is inevitable especially when they come from
different societal setting (43). Spouses can no
longer live in harmony and have lost mutual
regard for each other; for obvious reasons,
husbands search for slight fault from their
wives to seek for a divorce. Divorce is a
dissolution of a marriage contract which may
be effected either by the act of the husband or
by demand from the wife or by mutual
agreement or by operation of the law (Lemu
78). Divorce leads to broken homes, children
in these homes suffer from lack of parental
care and love, poor socialization, which in the
end leads to delinquency, to criminal acts and
to the spread of other social ills in the society.
Couples begin to dislike the values of
marriage in totality.
The result of divorce is that couples begin to
roam about and take time before getting
married again. To a certain extent, women go
into prostitution. The rampant divorce the
society is experiencing is breeding a lot of
sexual ills or practices, immoralities and
disrespect. However, poverty and ignorance
2
are another grand factors influencing divorce
in the Ihechiowa community. People marry
without having the full knowledge of marriage
and the functions of marriage. Responsibilities
of husbands to their wives and the
responsibilities of wives and their husbands
are not fully understood and observed by
married couples. According to Lemu, women,
for one reason or the other, develop high taste
of life in marriage (78). It is the consequences
of these factors on the upbringing of a child in
Ihechiowa community that the main body of
this research revolves around.
PROMPTING PROBLEM
As buttressed in the introduction, marriage
was intended by God to be an elevated,
wholesome, permanent, indissoluble and
happy union. The mandate of marriage was
made known before Adam and Eve had any
Children and before there were any parents.
The biding and strong statement for marriage
says; “Therefore a man leaves his father and
mother and cleaves to his wife, and they
become one flesh” Gen.2:24. For that, what
God has joined together let no man put
asunder.
Many people, especially Christians have
serious questions about divorce and
remarriage. As Christianity appears to be
imploding with divorce even among ministers,
and as blended families become a major
challenge to negotiate and develop by those
who remarry, it is wise for us to examine
again biblical instructions about divorce.When
a person biblically and ethically divorce a
spouse and remarry another? Marriage is
founded upon the biblical basis of a covenant.
Violations of the marriage covenant may lead
to the dissolution of the marriage covenant.
It is in this regard that the researcher had
decided to discover and proffer remedies to
the challenges which the problem of divorce
has caused in Ihechiowa, especially towards
child training.
HISTORICAL BACKGROUND OF THE
CONTEXT
Ihechiowa has a rich history which has
continued to impact on the people’s present-
day worldview. It is a worldview that is
hinged on the philosophy of brotherliness and
a positive approach to life’s many challenges.
It has also come to be one that believes in the
imperative of applying tact and discipline in
every undertaking as encapsulated in the
adage that, “Onyeasoghiegwu, adighiike” (He
who fears nothing is not strong). This means
that a person who lacks the capacity to discern
and masquerades as strong and unbeatable is
in reality, a coward who is very likely to
march to his death out of carelessness. This is
an important advice for any Ihechiowa
indigene who is embarking on any project.
3
According to N. Origba (in an oral interview)
Ihechiowa means “The light that holds the
world”. Ihechiowa is an Igbo community
located in the present Arochukwu Local
Government Area of Abia State. It belongs to
the Colonial Administrative unit of Aro
district, renamed as Arochukwu Division of
Calabar Province. Arochukwu was
subsequently carved out of Calabar Province
and included in Umuahia Province.
Ihechiowa is classified as a tribe, a village and
a clan. According to a dictionary definition, a
clan is a group of people with a common
ancestor. It could also mean a large family
forming a close group. It is a clan in the
present Arochukwu Local Government Area
of Abia State. By clan is meant a number of
village groups which claim a common
ancestry. It shares borders on the north with
Ohafia, on the northwest with Abam, on the
east with UkwaIbom or UkwaMbiabong
(OkwaNkasi), in Cross River State, on the
south with Ututu, and on the west with Makor
(Obotme), in AkwaIbom state. The clan lies
within longitudes 70, 40, and 80 East, and
latitude 50, 30North. A conspicuous physical
feature here is the range which extends from
Udi in Enugu State through Okigwe, Ohafia,
Ihechiowa, and Ututu, up to the Oban Hill in
Cross River State and thence to the Cameroun
mountains. This ridge runs across Ihechiowa
territory from north to south, and divides the
clan into two. But it makes no difference
because the people are historically and
culturally homogenous. Two rivers form the
natural boundaries of Ihechiowa. One is the
Uduma which forms the northwestern
boundary of Ihechiowa and Abam. The other
is the Iyi Ocha which separates Ihechiowa
from Arochukwu in the southwest.
The search for fertile agricultural land brought
Chiowa and his people to a new settlement
called “Ihenta” in Ohafia. This migration from
“Ihe” in Umuahia Ibeku to Ihenta in Ohafia
was as a result of hostility from nearby
communities. Here, at Ihenta, shortage of
agricultural land and external aggression
forced the children of Chiowa to look for
another place for settlement, hence, they
moved from Ihenta in Ohafia to “Ogige Ihe”
near the present day Ndi Okpo Ihechiowa.
O. Ndu, (in an interview) asserts that the land
was found to be fertile for farming. The
settlement at “OgigeIhe” was meant to be of
permanent nature. Here, at “Ogige Ihe” the
people of Ihechiowa had an encounter with the
pygmies. They were called “NdiOha-Odu”,
“that is people with tails”. The Pygmies
served useful economic purposes to the people
of Chiowa. They supplied the people with
farm implements such as hoes and cutlasses.
They also bought agricultural products for
them. The Pygmies were seen only on market
days. They were the first set of people to
arrive to the market and the last to leave the
4
market place. Conflict arose between the
Pygmies and the Ihechiowa people which led
to the disappearance of the Pygmies. This had
economic and social implications.
Nnanna asserts that the economic needs which
the Pygmies served the people of Ihechiowa
disappeared over night. Settlement at
OgigeIhe therefore became unbearable. There
was an urgent need for alternative settlement.
“Agbor” was discovered to be the most
suitable alternative place(46).At Agbor, the
economic benefits which the people enjoyed
at “Ogige Ihe” resulting from their encounter
with the Pigmies were no longer forthcoming.
Contradictions within the kindred at Agbor led
to the various families opting for separate and
independent settlements. This movement of
various families to distant locations for
settlement formed the genesis of the
foundation of the present day seventeen
villages in Ihechiowa. The said seventeen
villages are the descendants of the early
families of Chiowa which resulted into the
formation of Ihechiowa into Ikwun and
Eleoha. The separate existence of each of the
present day seventeen villages in Ihechiowa
and the resultant Ikwun-Eleoha dichotomy are
the products of the inability of the early
families of Chiowa to live, work, suffer and
die together for a common cause because of
the misunderstanding that arose amongst
them.
Socio-Cultural Life
The Ihechiowa people involved themselves in
diverse social activities which were portrayed
in their culture and traditional values. Culture
and tradition are the basic ingredients
explaining the essence of the integrity of
Ihechiowa people. If a man is found worthy,
he pays the initiation fee of one hundred kobo
to be initiated into Nrichi cult. The initiation
period was six months in which the man was
kept in fattening room for six months
traditionally called “InoNghigha”. During this
period the man is fed on pounded yam and
yam porridge with which he entertained
friends and relatives with and undiluted palm
wine.
Njeghari Ndi Nrichi (The Honourary Tour):
This period marked the commencement of the
Nrichi initiation. During this tour he is not
expected to put on cloth except white wrapper
called “Ngere”. He has a male servant with
whom he visits family heads in all the
seventeen villages. This tour is executed
during the last week that terminates the
fattening period. This event lasts for one week
and one day that is “Otuizunaotuubochi”. This
special visit is carried out only on “Ekedays”.
This is because all the villages would not
gather in a day to confer on the candidate the
Nrichi title, rather as he goes around he
automatically presents himself to the living
5
and the dead ancestors of the community as
well as undergo the Nrichi initiation.
In each compound he enters, the compound
head presents him to the ancestors through
prayers by pouring of libation on his behalf.
The compound head presents to him kolanuts
and five pence. As he walks along, he is
usually asked by admirers to beat the iron
gong for them to hear the sound “Onye
Nrichikuturum Ogene o-o-o. In response, he
beats the gong – gbom! Gbom!! Gbom!!!It
takes the candidate two walking days to carry
out the tour.
However, this practice is no longer gaining
grounds in Ihechiowa. People are no longer
interested in undergoing such tours. The
advent of motor cycle and motor cars have
made people weak to travel a long journey by
leg. Religious leaders in Ihechiowa have been
preaching against this practice hence, people’s
zeal and commitment to this cult have been
very weak. In view of the above situation, the
Nrichi cult is gradually dying with a little
hope of surviving.
Ichupu Nrichi (End of Nrichi).
The newly initiated candidate with other
members goes to his yam barn selecting sixty
tubers of yams (60) to be cooked for “Ekan”
members in the night. He pays some money
which is shared immediately by the members.
At about 1.00 a.m, food is ready for
consumption.The Ekan arrives and cries till
dawn. Before dawn, he is officially admitted
into the institution, in every track road of the
village, he throws away one tuber of yam,
saying I am through Oh! Oh!!Oh!!!
(Ezeremya O! O!! O!!!). This is an expensive
exercise which is conducted with a four gun
shots marking the official end of the initiation.
Iyamba
This title is taken only by married women. K.
Mba, (personal communication, June 10,
2020) asserts that “the only qualification into
this society is to be a woman. Culture defines
people’s mode of living, determines the mode
of communication, sets limits to people’s
interaction in terms of love and friendship,
and at the same time defines accepted norms
of behaviour. It’s a symbol of identity which
include cultural dances, inter-personal
relations etc. Hence, Ihechiowa social life is
showcased in these activities.
The Enyichi stage (childhood best friend)
This has to do with the initial consultation
with the entrant’s childhood best friend who
acts as the legal adviser. Secondly, the man
who is to be initiated is taken to the entrant’s
compound where he attempts to locate his
father, “Achoromimara Nnam”. At
juncture, he will be advised to see the entire
village. He will be disqualified if investigation
proves that his father was not a member of the
society but if he was a member, he would
commence the next stage traditionally called
“Ibuanu Nrichi” The initiation fee was Fifty
kobo and twenty fat tubers of yam. On the
initiation day a goat is slaughtered and the
women cook all kinds of local food, for both
the initiated and non initiated members. The
man is finally initiated into the guild by dully
initiated men. This also demonstrated how
wealthy a man was and served as part of the
government of the people. This by implication
suggests that wealth is used as the determining
factor in belonging to the ruling class. This
practice seems not to be good because there
could be intelligent people who may not likely
to be rich and so reject these rich contributions
they would have made in the governance of
the society.
Ekan Society
This is meant for boys. It is of two kinds –
“Ekan Nta” and “Ekan Ukwu”. The “Ekan
Nta” is meant for children between the ages of
2 – 10 and “Ekan Ukwu” is between the age
of 11 and above. For the Ekan Nta the boy
must remove his teeth before he could be
initiated. The initiation fee was two naira
(N2.00), 30 tubers of yam, six sticks of dried
fish and a large pot of palm oil. These are
this cooked on the initiation day for consumption,
after which the initiated is shown the Ekan
after dancing round the village compounds.
Women and non-members are not permitted to
6
be around during the initiation. The new
members enter into a covenant relationship
with Ekan not to disclose it to women and
non-members otherwise Eken would strike
them. The same process is applicable to “Ekan
Ukwu”. This fear imposed on the membership
of the group could be likened to other cults in
our present day. Members are enveloped with
the fear of death if they dare disclose the
secret of the society. The Church is making
frantic effort in diverting people’s interest
from belonging to such cults as they are seen
as ungodly and unclean for to belong.
Ekpe and Obong
These are not part of Ihechiowa culture but
were borrowed from the Calabarians and
instituted officially among the people. They
are secret cults specifically meant for the
wealthy and nobles. They served as the
governing power of the people and instrument
for settling disputes. Members used them to
threaten people’s lives. The Ekpe and Obong
cults are showcased during the “New Yam
Festivals through dancing by a masquerade
called “Okonko”. This Okonko is meant for
the men’s folk and the mysteries about it’s
functions must not be disclosed to non-
members. The language of this Cult is Effik.
Most of the elders of Ihechiowa lived in
Calabar and were greatly influenced by the
Effiks. Most of the Ihechiowa youths don’t
understand Effik and so find it difficult to
7
belong to the Ekpe and Obong Cults. The
advent of Christianity in Ihechiowa affected
the membership of these cults hence, the
decline of its membership.
Festivals and Ceremonies:
Before the planting season commences,
Ihechiowa elders have the sole obligation of
appeasing the gods of the land in order to
invoke the blessings of the “god of plenty”.
Certain rituals are performed and sacrifices
are offered.
Okwun, (personal communication September
5, 2019). Land means everything in
Ihechiowa. It is not sold. It is the supreme
symbol of the powers of the ancestors. They
have the power to create and to destroy. To act
against land is to act against the very essence
of one’s existence.
When the elders are satisfied that the
necessary rituals have been performed,
planting commences with “Ezeji” on the lead.
The womenfolk have their own part of the
obligation to fulfill. Before the planting of
maize, vegetable, local beans etc, they are
expected to perform some rituals. The above
crops are gathered into what is called “a
basket of materials” (AboNgwo-ngwo). A
successful performance of the rituals results to
bumper harvest. This is the
secret behind the success of Ihechiowa as the
main prosperous agricultural community
among her neighbours
 three main cultural dancers namely Akang,
The main features of Ihechiowa culture are Ovuwa and Use. Umuchi-Akuma is known for
ceremonial. The New Yam Festival is an Okanga and Obiro. Amamiri is known for
occasion of merry-making, heralding the Akama, NdiOkpo is known for Ojojo, Atan is
arrival of the New Yam. It precedes the period known for Ekwambe, Ighaoma and so on.
of scarcity called “Nlubiri” and Onwu”. These
Occupation of Ihechiowa People
periods are characterized by shortage of food,
Different people organize their society in
a period when yams are completely scarce
different ways and around different economic
from the family menu. The New Yam Festival
activities. The Ihechiowa people were mainly
is an occasion of celebration, heralding a new
agriculturalist with hoe and matchet as their
season of plenty. The period adds new life to
farm implements. Farming was the major
the people. It is full of sacrifices to thank the
occupation of the people of Ihechiowa,
god of yam “Nfijoku”. Cultural dances are
including children, men, and women.
displayed to colour the occasion. Today, the
Everyone contributed to the common stock.
story is not the same. Many people are no
Idleness was a taboo, hence there were few
longer moved by the advent of new yam.
beggars in the community.
Alternative to yams like rice, cocoyam,
Farming was the pivot around which other
potatoe etc are provided by wealthy families
activities revolved. It influenced inter personal
during the “Onwu” period.
relationships and social perception of
individual members of the community. It also
To some, the New Yam Festival is a period of
influenced the choice of marriage. A young
great activities. Girls were expected to dress in
woman known to be industrious in farm work
a peculiar manner with beads tied round their
was seriously sought for by young men in
waists and their bodies beautifully decorated.
marriage.
It offered the men-folk the ardent opportunity
of choosing their future wives. It was also the
According to Clement, (personal
beginning of fattening period for those girls
communication, June 10, 2019), “Yam” is
already engaged, thus preparing them for
regarded as the king of all crops and
marriage.
specifically meant to be cultivated by men.
Ihechiowa is very rich in cultural dances. Each
Other crops like cocoyam, three-leaved yam,
village is distinctively known for at least one
aerial yam, okro, maize, melon, cassava, were
cultural dance or the other. For instance,
exclusively reserved for women and were
Umuye village is known for her ingenuity in

8
treated as secondary crops. Yam was occupation as there were no big rivers around,
associated with “Nfijoku”, hence every it was only engaged by people as a hobby.
significant stage in yam cultivation is Most of the people that engaged themselves
preceded with yam rituals. Yam was never into trading were at the instance of the contact
refused, no matter how strained the with Effiks and the whitemen in Calabar.
relationship between the giver and the Today, many sons and daughters of Ihechiowa
recipient may be.Anyone who refuses yam, have abandoned trade for Western education.
gives a cock which was sacrificed to
“Nfijoku” the god of yam. DIVORCE IN IHECHIOWA
COMMUNITY
According to Elechi Okoro, (personal
communication, August 30, 2019) wine Marriage among the Igbo of Nigeria is a rite
tapping is a lucrative occupation on the of passage which everyone, man or woman
ground that wine is very important in both must undergo once or more in a life time.
culture and traditional rites of the people. This When a girls passed the age of “whose
implies that important occasions could not go daughter the Igbo say, she gets to the age of
on without the presentation of wine. No very whose wife.” It is same to a boy who has gone
serious talk involving heads of families can go through adolescence rites of passage after
on without wine. To this effect owners of which beautiful maidens will be making
palm trees were very rich. attempts to be his chosen one. To the
Ihechiowa, marriage is for life. Unfortunately,
Animal husbandry and hunting featured
for one reason or the other, some couples are
prominently in the people’s economy.
seen getting divorced. It is surprising that
Animals reared include goats, sheep, fowls
despite the uniting capacity of one marriage, it
etc. Those who showed prowess in hunting
is also capable of disintegrating a people for
attracted names such as “Dinta”, “Ogbuanu”,
life. Disintegration comes in when the love
Ogbaegbe”. Trading also featured greatly in
that exists between a husband and a wife goes
Ihechiowa and some engaged themselves in
sour causing divorce. Many things contribute
the selling of gins, palm wine, cloth and
to souring love and divorce.
human beings. Those who distinguished
themselves in this act of trade attracted names The cause of divorce in Ihechiowa has been
such as “Ozuu or “Ozuafia”.Many depended traced to different reasons, Expectation of
on craft works such as making of mat, raffia, relatives from a couple for pregnancy within
local baskets etc. Fishing was not a major three months of marriage is high. After three

9
months and no pregnancy in view, the couple,
their parents, relatives and friends become
apprehensive. Either side of the in-laws
immediately starts to trade blames on either of
the couple for the delay or misfortune. Some
may start going to inquire for the cause of the
delay through divination or a seer. When
solution is not forthcoming, divorce sets in.
Among the Ihechiowa people, there are certain
criteria that people consider in giving out their
children in marriage. Some of these criteria
are the bridegroom’s family’s wealth, their
farm lands, societal status or hierarchy, etc.
when these are not feasible as had been
perceived, there is a propensity for divorce.
A respondent informed this study that he sent
his wife packing because she did not know
how to prepare a good soup. He narrated how
his mother-in-law came to their house during
his wife’s period of enclosure and prepared
olugbu (bitter leaf) soup (a popular type of
soup among the Ihechiowa) with complete
chicken parts and yet, the soup could not be
eaten by any one. It was embarrassing indeed
because though, the soup is known as bitter
leaf, it tastes good and it was expected to taste
better with chicken parts still, the expectation
was not met. As a result of that and the wife’s
other dirty characteristics, he got another wife
for himself and divorced the first.
PRACTICES IN IHECHIOWA THAT
PROMOTES DIVORCE
10
Discouraging socio cultural factors and/ or
conditions that influence divorce and/or
separation have long been matters of concern
to spouses in Ihechiowa community where
divorce affects the overall development of
women. For instance, a divorced woman
suffers discrimination because she is neither
accepted in her matrimonial nor maternal
home. However, some actions against
divorced women are done in other to humiliate
them for bringing shame and dishonour to
their maternal families. Before now, in
Ihechiowa custom, men who have large acres
of farmland are encouraged to engage in
multiple marriages so as to have women who
would work in the farms. Women who are
lazy to do farm work or not so fertile as to
have large number of children who would also
work in the farm were divorced. This means
that hard work and high fertility were the basis
for successful marriages. Today, with increase
in education and less emphasis on farming as
only means of generating income, marrying
many wives, or having large number of
children are no more necessary.
Modern marriage institutions are time-
honoured on policies that are increasingly
mimicking western models where indigenous
cultures are often overlooked. Such marriage
institutions are established by forces external
to the community and characterized by
functional and structural arrangements that are
fairly standard and reflect specific image of
western development. Marriage institutions 6. Locking out a wife from the
represent established systems of authority and matrimonial home,
other phenomena derived from socio-cultural 7. Giving a spouse dry stick a wife
and historical processes with roots from the abandoning her matrimonial home to
culture. Such indigenous institutions reflect live with another man.
the knowledge, experiences and level of
Conditions that Result to Divorce in
development of the local people. The
Ihechiowa Community
Ihechiowa community has its own peculiar
actions and/ or behaviour that signal divorce. 1. Infidelity
2. Infertility/barrenness
For instance, infidelity, infertility, laziness and
3. Impotence probing a husband’s sexual
unhygienic behaviours are some of the major
life
causes of divorce in many societies and
4. Inability to reproduce male children
women with these attributes are usually
and/or large number of children
returned to their parents. Divorce is viewed as
5. Laziness in taking on assigned gender
a social prejudice used to subdue women in
roles including farming
most societies agrees with this opinion only in
6. Cooking late and/or inability to cook
the area of stringent gender roles, where
delicious food
women perform majority of roles in the
7. Disrespect to husband and his kinsmen
family.
8. Deviant actions like stealing,
Local Taboos and Prohibitions that Point to prostitution, witchcraft, fighting
Divorce in Ihechiowa Community especially in public cases of leprosy,
tuberculosis, epilepsy, etc.
1. A husband pouring away or breaking
9. Sexually transmitted infections
the wife’s pot of soup,
including HIV
2. Asking a wife to fill a raffia basket
with water, In Ihechiowa, tradition supports divorcing
3. Putting broom inside a basket and women for the reasons listed above. It is a
telling a wife to carry it to her parents, taboo for a wife to ask her husband about his
4. Hanging a husband’s cloth over a extramarital sexual relationships even if she
wife’s shoulder , sees him with multiple sex partners, she is not
5. Taking a wife back to her parents with expected to probe, and otherwise, she gets
a jar of palm wine, divorced. In divorcing, the wife, the husband
will simply return her to her parents after

11
stripping her off resources accruing from the
marriage including custody of the children. In
addition, the husband will demand for the
refund of her bride prize. Important in the
finding is the practice of the husband asking
for a refund of bride prize from the parents of
the wife irrespective of who initiated the
divorce. The refund is usually through
prominent traditional rulers from the wife’s
side to the husband’s side. The handing over
of the bride prize signifies the end of that
marriage. Because in Ihechiowa custom, sees
marriage relationship as a private matter
where external influence is forbidden,
husbands and their kinsmen.
In Ihechiowa, just as among the Igbo, a wife is
expected to manage the home. In managing
the home, she has to take care of the family by
making sure that the children do not lack any
thing; making sure that the husband and the
children do not go hungry and be sure of the
neatness of the household. If a wife lacks
these characteristics, even the entire extended
family of the husband will join hands in
getting her packing where she never steps on
the sand of the family again. A respondent
informed this study that he sent his wife
packing because she did not know how to
prepare a good soup. He narrated how his
mother-in-law came to their house during his
wife’s period of enclosure and prepared
olugbu (bitter leaf) soup (a popular type of
soup in Ihechiowa) with complete chicken
12
parts and yet, the soup could not be eaten by
any one. It was embarrassing indeed because
though, the soup is known as bitter leaf, it
tastes good and it was expected to taste better
with chicken parts still, the expectation was
not met. As a result of that and the wife’s
other dirty characteristics, he got another wife
for himself and divorced the first.
In contrast, men, more often than women,
blame the divorce on external factors, such as
work or problems with in-laws (Kitson 18).
Some mother-in-laws do constitute parasites
on the son-in-laws’ purse. It is a problem
when young man tries to have a settle home
by getting married to a maiden but could not
comprehend the amount of demands being
experienced on daily bases from his wife’s
relations.
An interviewee responding to the
researcher’squestion, said that he separated
with his wife due to strange character he
started noticing in his wife immediately his
mother-in-law left their house for home after
her visit to them during his wife’s period of
enclosure (ọmụgwọ). He said that his wife’s
attitude changed immediately her mother left;
that he did not know that while she stayed
with her mother as he was away for work, the
mother tutored her on some evil behaviours
and she never considered the love they have
for each other and tried to practice what she
was taught. He queried, “… how could I have
ignored her since we have been living
peacefully and happily before her mother’s
visit.” He said, “I sent her packing and
initiated for divorce since she could not realize
my move to show her love and she failed to
understand.” “I am sure I did not marry to die”
he said.
SOLUTIONS TO DIVORCE IN
IHECHIOWA COMMUNITY
There are certain biblical teachings concerning
divorce. On a whole some of our respondents
has argued that it is biblically wrong while
others say the bible approves of it. The later
draws inference from the Old Testament. In
the Old Testament, divorce is allowed. If a
man wanted a divorce, then he had to give the
woman notice in writing. Nothing is said
about women divorcing their husbands
(Deuteronomy 24:1).
However, Jesus’ teaching was different. In
this quote, Jesus seems very clear marriage is
for life. Divorce is not allowed. Jesus replied,
“At the beginning of creation God “made
them male and female”. For this reason a man
will leave his father and mother and be united
to his wife, and the two will become one
flesh.” So they are no longer two, but one.
Therefore, what God has joined together, let
not man separate. Anyone who divorces his
wife and a marries another woman commits
13
adultery against her. And if she divorces her
husband and marries another man she
commits adultery.”
Jesus also said “Man must not separate what
God has joined together” (Matthew 19:6 and
Mark 10:9) But in Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus
gives a slightly different view: a man can
divorce his wife for unfaithfulness; so divorce
is sometimes acceptable. Anyone who
divorces his wife, except for marital
unfaithfulness, causes her to become an
adulteress, and anyone who marries the
divorced woman commits adultery (Matthew
5:31-32). However, there is another view.
Jesus might have allowed separation (he
would not have wanted people to be unhappy),
but did not agree with people re-marrying
while their husband or wife was still alive.
Historically, Jesus might have been trying to
protect women, because if their husbands left
them, they would have nothing.
Apostle Paul puts his view clear on this, “a
married woman is bound.to her husband as
long as he lives. So then, if she lives with
another man while her husband is alive, she
will be called an adulteress; but if her husband
dies, she is legally a free woman and does not
commit adultery if she marries another man.”
(Romans 7:2-3). Although Jesus seems to be
very firmly against remarriage, Christians
believe that the Bible needs to be seen as a
whole. Some Christians will refer to Jesus’
teaching on forgiveness to show that a peaceful living in the areas where there are
divorced couple should be allowed a second less divorce records. The findings in this work
chance with someone else. The best example may suggest that with the increasing cases of
to use is the woman who committed adultery divorce as recorded in Ihechiowa, the
and was going to be stoned. Jesus didn’t churches may be drastically affected as
condone her actions, but he said: if you are children of the divorced parents may not count
without sin, cast the first stone. on the church as a place of solace since they
could not sustain their parent’s marriage when
From the above cited examples, it is no longer
troubles escalated.
a mere saying that the bible teaches against
divorce. Not only because of the effects on the
RECOMMENDATIONS
children, but also as a practice of chastity in
Having examined the reality of divorce in
worship. The researcher expressly will adopt
Ihechiowa, the researcher notes that there is
the biblical view about divorce and condemns
no need starting a marriage where there seems
the action both with its immediate and remote
to be problems or relationship red flags.
causes. The best and most profitable remedy is
Based on the above, the researcher
that in marriage one should be very careful in
recommends that:
choosing a partner to avoid divorce in the
 The church should enlighten its
future.
members on the disadvantages of

Summarily, this work reveals that to very divorce on the church and the society at

great extent, divorce has a great effect on the large.

lives of the offsprings in Ihechiowa. Having  The church should organize a marriage

carried out this study, the researcher has noted counselling class to enlighten the

that there is a great difference between intending couples.

children of divorced parents and those whose  The church should form wings that will

parents are still together. It must be groom its teenagers before they are set

emphasized that marriage is a divine for marriage

institution of God for human society all over  The church should set up helping hands

the world. It is created to instill orderliness to groom children of divorced parents

and order in the children thereby affecting the to make them have the feeling of

society. marriages also for builds value system parents around them. If the church can

upon which a sound human society is created serve as parents, the children will still

this is the reason for the advancement in

14
 measure up in the society as those
whose parents are together.
 Intending couples should have enough
idea of what they are going to see in the
marriage during the period of
courtship.
 Every relationship red flag should be
spotted and dealt with as soon as it is
being identified.
 The government should make policies
that will allow children of such parents
to have opportunities to participate in
the public sectors.
CONCLUSION
Marriage is not what one should wake up in
the morning and gets oneself into. It involves
maturity hence the Igbo idea that before a
good. Therefore, it is advised that anyone
trying to marry should look before he lips.
Marriage is not and should not be a daily
business and therefore it calls for endurance at
least for the protection of the children.
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