It’s a minor fling

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/47987137.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: F/F
Fandom: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
Relationship: Ozaki Kouyou/Yosano Akiko (Bungou Stray Dogs)
Character: Ozaki Kouyou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Yosano Akiko (Bungou Stray
Dogs), Izumi Kyouka (Bungou Stray Dogs), Armed Detective Agency
Ensemble (Bungou Stray Dogs)
Additional Tags: baby au, it live. this au has yet to die., the plot is mildly the same except
this time there are lesbians, Bsd baby au, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Chuuya
has to play the wise man, Established Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya
(Bungou Stray Dogs), Established Akutagawa Ryuunosuke/Nakajima
Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), blink and you miss it ranpoe, Fukuzawa
laughs exactly once in this fic and he should bc it’s funny as fuck,
Mentions of sex work, Not now. Later. Later in the fic, and they were
ROOMMATES, Denial of Feelings, Domestic Fluff
Language: English
Series: Part 4 of It’s a minor thing okay?!!!
Stats: Published: 2023-06-19 Completed: 2023-06-20 Words: 13,955
Chapters: 5/5

It’s a minor fling

by amythecinnabunny

Summary

After another failed attempt at catching the ability user that got Atsushi and Akutagawa,
then Dazai and Chuuya, the Armed Detective Agency is down one child detective. It all
spins out of control when Yosano decides that she’d sleep better if Kouyou’s ability were
around to keep Kyoka’s from beheading Yosano in the middle of the night.

Or
A home is built on love, trust, and the power of a cute baby. Or something like that.
 Chapter 1

Yosano scrolls through the members in the group chat that Akutagawa had very creatively titled
‘the baby album’ until she finds the contact she’s looking for.

She keeps a wary eye on the demon hovering over the crib as she dials the number and waits,
listening to the rings.

“Yosano, contrary to what you may believe based on your encounters with Chuuya and
Akutagawa, I am not free every moment of the day.”

“You answered, though,” Yosano points out, ignoring the fact that Kouyou didn’t even greet.
“Anyway, uh, do you happen to know how to make Yuki go away?”

“Yuki?”

“Demon Snow. Kyoka calls her Yuki.”

Kouyou is silent for a moment. “Is she doing anything in particular?”

“No, she’s just kind of . . . hovering over Kyoka.”

“And how does Kyoka seem?”

“Fine. She’s trying to eat her hand.”

“Standard baby behaviour. Anyway, the ability is simply watching over Kyoka. You need not be
afraid of her.”

Yosano stares at the demon. “Okay, but she has a very sharp sword and my ability only works if
my head is still attached to my body. What if I try to pick Kyoka up and the demon beheads me? I
have to change her, you know.”

Kouyou is silent for another few seconds before she sighs. “I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

Yosano stares at her phone when Kouyou hangs up without another word. “How does she know
where the dorms are?”

True to Kouyou’s word, she knocks on the door within ten minutes. Yosano opens quickly, very
keen on getting help as soon as possible.

“Hi, thanks for coming.”

Kouyou looks around the dorm and Yosano expects a look of disdain, but Kouyou seems
appreciative. “I like this place. It’s very comforting. You’ve chosen beautiful paintings to hang.”

“O-oh. Thanks.”

Kouyou gives her a nod before walking up to the crib. She regards the pale demon for a moment
before reaching into the crib to lift Kyoka up. She trusts her own ability to defend her if she’s
wrong about Demon Snow simply watching passively to ensure Kyoka is not in any danger. When
nothing happens, she turns to face Yosano.

“I seem to be correct. As long as you have no intention of harming Kyoka, her ability will not
attack you.”

Yosano nods. “Could you, uh, change her too?”

She flicks her gaze to the demon and misses the slightly amused look that crosses Kouyou’s face.

“Of course. Did you receive the clothes they’d been using thus far?”

Yosano nods. “Atsushi dropped them off this morning. They’re over in that bag on the dresser.”

She watches Kouyou walk to the dresser and adjust Kyoka so she can hold her in one arm and use
her free hand to open the bag.

“What do you say, my little Kyoka? Shall we dress you in a grower or these cute little jeans?”

Kouyou’s kind of pretty when she’s soft, Yosano thinks. Then,

Kunikida will kill me if he hears that.

Yosano feels only slightly guilty as Dazai, Atsushi and Kunikida jump when she slams her hands
on the empty desk and fixes Atsushi with a stern look.

“Whatever it was, I’m sorry!”

“Were you and Akutagawa involved before you started living together?”

“Huh?”

“Look, we all know Dazai and Chuuya had . . . something going on even before the first baby
fiasco, but what I want to know is if the two of you had anything going on before you practically
ditched the dorms.”

Dazai looks mildly offended at being dismissed so easily, but he rolls his eyes. “I sent them on
missions together fairly often,” Dazai says, “but I don’t think. . .”

Kunikida follows Dazai’s gaze to Atsushi, who’s looking down at his computer, hands clasped
under the desk and ears turning faintly pink. “Why do you look like that?”

“Okay, it was one time and it would’ve stayed one time forever if this whole thing with Vee never
happened.”

“Okay, but was it just, like, a little kiss or were there feelings involved?”

Kunikida and Dazai both lean towards Atsushi, who tilts his head. “If relief at surviving a very
close brush with a gruesome death counts, then yes, there were feelings. Why are you asking
anyway?”

“Ozaki spent the night in my dorm because if Kyoka’s ability tries to attack the room in her sleep,
Ozaki’s can fight her off. I’m . . . concerned. The last two times baby-fied people were involved,
people got into relationships.”

“But you and Ane-san have never even interacted before,” Atsushi points out.

“Ane-san?” Kunikida asks.

“Oh, it’s what everyone at home calls her,” Atsushi says dismissively.

Yosano doesn’t miss the way Dazai’s eyes brighten just a bit and for half a second, he smiles at
Atsushi, when Atsushi calls the apartment ‘home’.

She’s never been jealous of people in relationships before and, actually, if she’s really honest with
herself, she’s not jealous that Atsushi and Dazai are dating people who love them so wholly. It’s
just the way Atsushi casually refers to Chuuya’s apartment as home that does something ugly to her
insides. The dorm has always been just a dorm to her. The closest thing she has to home is here in
the office.

And it’s nice. It really is. But she wants to be able to call the place where she sleeps and spends her
free time a home too.

What makes a home, anyway?

“My point is,” Atsushi continues, “I don’t think you have anything to worry about. It’s not like
you’ve been harbouring a crush, have you? You can just think of it like a sleepover. Y’know, like
when you and Ranpo have movie nights and he sleeps over. Maybe you’ll even make a friend. I
hear she likes to buy nice things and finds shopping fun, too.”

Yosano nods. “You’re right. Yeah, you’re right. You two are different. Pining idiots.”

“We were not pining,” Dazai and Atsushi snap indignantly. Then they turn to each other and scoff.
“You so were.”

Yosano nods to herself. Yes, this is fine. Everything will be just fine.

“I tried to bring her to your agency,” Kouyou says the moment Yosano enters her dorm. “But she
didn’t want to leave the room.”

Yosano nods. “Yes. You texted me.”

“I did, yes. Well, now that you’ve arrived, I think I’ll take my leave.”

Yosano hesitates.

“What is it?” Kouyou asks, not unkindly.

“Could — can you stay? I could ask Dazai to come over to neutralise Kyoka’s ability if necessary,
but I really cannot spend every second of the day listening to him tell me all about Chuuya and
Atsushi and Akutagawa. I adore how much he likes them but I hear enough about them at work
already. You’re the only other person I know that could take on Yuki even if you’re half asleep.”

Kouyou mulls it over, glancing at Kyoka in the crib as she does. “Well, I suppose for Kyoka, I can
do that.”

“I mean, I don’t know if you’d be more comfortable in your own place but then I don’t know if
you want a stranger in your home and —”

“Yosano.”

“Hm?”

“I said I would stay.”

“O-oh. Okay. Thank you. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“Nonsense. Your futon is large enough to fit two comfortably. Though, if you’d prefer, I could
have someone bring a bed.”

“I’d honestly rather go bed shopping myself.”

Something pretty ignites in Kouyou’s eyes. “I would not be opposed to a shopping trip.”

“Yeah?”

“Of course. But I’m paying.”

“Wh- no! No, I’m asking you to leave your place to stay here so —”

“Yosano, darling, I adore your room and I love how beautiful it is, and I respect the work you do a
great deal — but you cannot afford the kind of comfort I seek.”

Yosano forgets to feign being offended in the face of Kouyou calling her ‘darling’.

“Now, then, do you know how to cook? Because I don’t and all my favourite restaurants have
closed for the night.”

Yosano nods. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, I can cook a few things okay enough.”

“Wonderful! I shall ready Kyoka for bed and put her to sleep while you do that.”

Yosano nods again. “Okay.”

The dorm is small, so Yosano can comfortably get dinner ready and watch Kouyou interact with
Kyoka. Something in the Port Mafia executive changes when she has her eyes on Kyoka. She’s not
exactly cold to everyone else, but she’s formal and very guarded. But when she talks to Kyoka,
there is a lightness to her voice and a sparkle in her eyes. Maybe it’s because she’s speaking to a
baby, or maybe it’s because she’s speaking to Kyoka. Either way, it’s a nice sight to behold.

Kouyou thanks Yosano for the food and they eat in comfortable silence.

Last night, Yosano had just been glad that there was an ability in her dorm fit to rival Demon
Snow. She fell asleep very quickly and when she woke up, Kouyou was already feeding Kyoka.
Tonight, she lays awake, acutely aware of the sleeping woman beside her, wondering what will
happen when she wakes up in the morning.

Oh, god. What if she cuddles Kouyou in her sleep?!

It takes Yosano an hour to fall asleep.

“You’re weirdly good with babies,” Yosano comments, watching Kyoka cuddle up in Atsushi’s lap
and glare at anyone who tries to reach for her.

“She’s right,” Tanizaki says. “Dazai and Chuuya would do the same thing when they were little.”

Dazai looks over and rolls his eyes. “I don’t believe you.”

“There’s so much proof in the group chat,” Kunikida says. “There is a video of you screeching at
me for trying to pick you up so Atsushi could go and meet a client.”
Dazai scoffs. “If I can’t remember it, it didn’t happen.”

“You bit Tanizaki when I handed you to him,” Atsushi says, rolling his eyes.

“Do you think Kyoka will stay with you for a while?” Yosano asks. “I want to run to the pharmacy
down the block for some stock.”

Atsushi bounces Kyoka gently. “I think we’ll be fine for an hour or two.”

“Oh, can I come with you?” Kunikida asks. “I want to get a bottle of cough syrup.”

“I can pick it up for you if you’d like?”

Kunikida shakes his head. “I have time.”

“Oh. Sure, then. Atsushi, call me if you need, okay?”

“We’ll be fine, right, Kyoka?” He lifts Kyoka’s hand to wave at Yosano. “Bye, Yosano!”

“Buh,” Kyoka says, which Yosano assumes is just Kyoka copying Atsushi.

The walk to the pharmacy is silent and the only time Kunikida speaks in the pharmacy to ask
Yosano’s opinion on two different brands and whether it would be a good idea to grab a pack of
band-aids just to have some on hand if necessary. It’s on the walk back that Kunikida pipes up.

“Is it not weird, sharing the dorm with Ozaki?”

Yosano shrugs. “It’s all right.”

“I know she probably means no harm and is doing this for Kyoka’s sake, but don’t you ever feel
afraid?”

“Not really,” Yosano says, surprising herself with the admission. She hadn’t thought about it
before now. “I actually feel more relieved and safer. Her ability is strong and if Kyoka’s goes
haywire, Ozaki’s can defend all three of us from her. Not that I logically believe it would come to
that, but the fear that Demon Snow cannot be controlled by a baby is there.”

Kunikida hums. “Is that it, though?”

“What do you mean?”

“This feeling of safety . . . is it the kind you get when you’re on a mission and you know your
partner is going to be there to back you up or is it . . . home?”

“Home?” Yosano notices that they’ve stopped walking. “The only home I know is the agency.”

“There are different kinds of homes. Atsushi’s home is with the agency, but it’s also his apartment
and it’s also Dazai, Chuuya and Akutagawa, all together and separately.”

“What’s yours?”

“The agency, for one. My house is a home to me.”

“What makes a house a home?”

“Comfort. Safety. Home doesn’t have to be a place and it doesn’t have to be a person. It can be
either. It can be both.”

“Oh.”

When Yosano leaves the agency at the end of the day and makes her way to the dorms, she
wonders if the small but comfortable space will ever feel like a home.

She kicks the door closed with her foot and adjusts Kyoka so she can free one hand to take her
shoes off.

“Here, I’ll take her.”

Yosano jumps, a little startled by Kouyou’s voice.

“Hello, little lady,” Kouyou coos, plucking Kyoka from Yosano’s arms. She smiles sweetly at
Kyoka, looking delighted by Kyoka’s own smile. “Did you enjoy your day out? I bought
something for you.”

And off Kouyou goes, leaving Yosano in the genkan to take her shoes off with ease.

“I brought dinner,” Kouyou calls from the corner of the room where the crib is, “so you don’t need
to worry about cooking today.”

Yosano approaches Kouyou cautiously and peeks into the crib, where Kyoka is mesmerised by the
toy in her hands — it’s a pretty little plush rabbit, and Kyoka clearly adores it already.

Kouyou, who leans over the railing, looks up at Yosano. “I hope you like donburi.”

Yosano nods. “It’s nice.”

“Good. I also brought takoyaki. Why don’t you freshen up and then we’ll eat, hm?”

“Oh. Sure. Thanks.”

When Yosano sits at the low table, Kouyou is already changed and arranging the food on the
table.

“I was thinking,” Kouyou says as she places a bowl in front of Yosano, “tomorrow, we could go
shopping. The tiger boy told me you’re off tomorrow. We need to stop to get a stroller first,
though, since Kyoka is just one child.”

Yosano nods mutely. When she asked Kouyou to stay, she hadn’t expected to find Kouyou back in
her dorm when she got home today. She figured Kouyou would only come over after dark, only to
spend her nights watching over Kyoka. She certainly didn’t expect Kouyou to be waiting with
food.

It’s sort of nice, coming home to someone else.

Yosano banishes that thought the moment it formulates. She is not Dazai and she is certainly not
Atsushi. There will be no fraternising with the Port Mafia in Yosano’s dorm.
 Chapter 2

“Why can’t we just get two different beds?” Yosano whines, flopping down on the nearest bed in
the store.

Kouyou chuckles behind her hand, the other resting on the handle of Kyoka’s new stroller.
“Darling, there’s only space enough in your dorm room for one bed.”

“If there’s space for one queen bed, shouldn’t there be space for two singles?”

“I am not sleeping on a single bed.”

Yosano huffs. “Then can’t we get a double for you that you like and I’ll keep sleeping on my
futon?”

Kouyou looks mortified. “You will not sleep on the floor when I’m more than capable of affording
a decent bed that fits two.”

“Fitting isn’t the problem. You want a mattress you can sink into.”

“I fail to see the problem with that.”

“I’ll never get out of bed if it’s that soft!”

Kouyou shrugs dismissively. “Then don’t. I earn more than enough to keep your dorm running.”

Yosano thinks there’s something eerily warm about the idea of being taken care of like that.

“I can’t quit the agency,” Yosano says, sitting up. Then she bounces on the bed. “Hey, try this
one.”

Kouyou pushes the stroller between the two beds and sits beside Yosano. “Hm. It’s nice.”

Yosano leans back and rolls over to look at the label. “It’s a queen size. And it’s actually cheaper
than some of the others we’ve looked at. Ooh, plus a five-year warranty!”

“Sit up, darling. People are staring at your ass.”

Yosano turns her head over to grin at Kouyou. “As they should. It’s a nice ass.”

Kouyou rolls her eyes and yanks Yosano up by her arm. “Shall we get this one?”

Yosano flops back on the bed the moment Kouyou lets go of her arm. She stares at the store’s high
ceiling and hums. “You should try it out properly too. You don’t want to go through the hassle of
getting it into my dorm only to find that you don’t like it.”

Kyoka babbles something that sounds like agreement, so Yosano grins at Kouyou.

“See? The baby agrees with me.”

Kouyou rolls her pretty eyes. “She can’t even speak properly, let alone understand all those words.”

“And yet, she agrees.” Yosano pats the space beside her. “Don’t be shy.”

With a sigh, Kouyou lays down. “Oh. It’s softer than I thought.”
“Is it nice?”

“Mm. Comfortable.”

Yosano opens her mouth to say something, only to get distracted by a very loud cackle.

“Well, it wasn’t me,” Kouyou says.

Yosano sits up. “Is that — that’s Dazai!”

Kouyou sits too, squinting at the far end of the store, where the cashier is. “You’re right.”

“Who’s that with him?”

“I believe that’s Akutagawa.”

“I have never seen Akutagawa laugh like that.”

“Fuck you!” The screech is high and enraged and comes from beneath a mattress. Chuuya’s
unmistakable locks pop up on the other side of the mattress. “Stop fucking laughing! It’s not
funny!”

“What do you think happened?” Yosano asked.

“Chuuya must’ve been carrying the mattress and Dazai had the wonderful idea of touching either
him or it.”

Yosano watches Chuuya throw something at Dazai.

“It was Atsushi’s idea!” Dazai screeches.

Kouyou sighs. “After I worked so hard to turn them into civilised people.”

Yosano pats her shoulder. “Atsushi brings out the worst in them.”

The store attendant that had been periodically checking in with them clears her throat.

“Oh,” Yosano says. She pats the label on the mattress. “We’ll take this one. Base and all.”

The attendant nods and leaves again after informing them that she’ll be right back.

“Say,” Kouyou says, “do you want to bet on whether we leave with our bed first or they’ll finally
get theirs out the door? I think Chuuya will snap and leave with everything himself by the time I’ve
paid.”

Something about ‘our bed’ sounds a little too nice, so Yosano chooses to focus on Kouyou’s other
words instead. “I think we’ll have this one in my dorm before they leave here. What’s in the pot?”

“I’ll cook dinner if you’re right and . . . you let me take you to one of my favourite restaurants if
I’m right.”

It doesn’t escape Yosano’s notice that this all sounds suspiciously like a date. Nevertheless, she
nods.

Two hours later, when the bed has been arranged and they’ve put the covers down, Yosano calls
Atsushi and puts her phone on speaker.
“Now’s not really a good time,” Atsushi says apologetically once they’ve shared their greetings.

“Oh, do you need any help?”

“No, Ryuu and I are just trying really hard to stop Chuuya-nii from getting arrested for causing
public unrest in a mattress store.”

Yosano shoots Kouyou a victorious grin. “Oh, that’s all right, then. I only wanted to ask if you
could send over some of the toys you might have for Kyoka, but it can wait until you’re done
there.”

“Right. I’ll call you later. Or tomorrow. It depends on how much more antagonising Osamu-nii can
get.”

“Good luck.”

“Thanks. I have to go, Chuuya-nii is trying to throw my boyfriend at his boyfriend. PUT HIM
DOWN OR I SWEAR —”

Atsushi hangs up mid-threat.

“Well,” Yosano says, smiling at Kouyou, “have you got any ideas for dinner?”

Kouyou huffs. “I am perfectly capable of following a recipe.”

Yosano wheezes when Kouyou shrieks and slides a lid over a burning pot.

“It’s not funny!”

“It’s a little funny.”

Kouyou pouts, sulking. “Stir fry was supposed to be easy.”

“Here,” Yosano says, reaching for the pot. “Let me — ow!”

Kouyou slaps Yosano’s hand away. “I said I’d make dinner, so I’m going to make dinner. Go sit
with Kyoka over at her playpen.”

“What if something catches fire again?”

“It won’t.”

“All right. Shout if you need me.”

Kouyou turns back to the stove, intend on salvaging dinner, so Yosano wanders over to the
playpen, set up in front of the couch.

“Hi, baby. What are you up to?”

Kyoka shows Yosano a little car.

“Oh? Is that your car?”

“Vvvvoom!” Kyoka says, moving the car rapidly in any direction she can.

Yosano nods. “Vroom, indeed.”

“Voom,” Kyoka says again.

After a moment, she drops the car and reaches for her rabbit. She shakes it, as though she expect it
to move.

Yosano glances into the kitchen, where Kouyou looks very focused. Her bangs are even pinned
back, held in place by one of Yosano’s decorative clips.

Feeling a pair of eyes on her, Yosano looks down at Kyoka again.

“Voom,” Kyoka tells her earnestly.

Yosano chuckles. “Vroom.”

“It’s really tasty,” Yosano says yet again. “The flavours are very nice.”

Kouyou huffs, as though she wants nothing more than to sulk but is trying very hard not to. She
keeps her chin in her hand and glares at the stove from where she sits at the table.

“It doesn’t have to be perfect, Ozaki. It doesn’t have to look like it came from the kitchen of one of
your restaurants to taste amazing and be perfectly good.”

“It’s supposed to look appetising.”

“It smells appetising and that’s good enough for me.”

Kouyou peeks at Yosano out of the corner of her eye. “Really?”

Yosano nods. “Really.”

Kouyou huffs again. “I need to practice. I will make dinner again tomorrow.”

“Oh? You don’t need to.”

“I will. I can’t have my students cooking better than I do.”

Yosano hums. “Kyoka is rather good in the kitchen.”

“Kyoka too?!”

“Wait, who were you referring to?”

“Chuuya, for one.”

“And for another? You said students, plural.”

“Tachihara. That boy could star on Masterchef Japan if he got his head out of his ass.”

Yosano raises her eyebrows. “Atsushi says he doesn’t cook much.”

“He’s just lazy. And he likes Gin’s food.”

“Well,” Yosano says after a moment, “I guess I’ll take over breakfast. What shall we do about
lunch?”

“Restaurants.”
“While that sounds lovely, my salary doesn’t have room for restaurant lunches every day.”

“Then I will take care of that.”

Yosano frowns at Kouyou. “You’re edging on dangerous territory, Ozaki. If I didn’t know any
better, I’d consider that you were trying to woo me with your riches.”

Kouyou leans her head on her hand again, though this time she looks at Yosano properly. There is
the ghost of a smile on her face, as though she’s trying to tease Yosano. “Who’s to say you do
know better?”

Yosano stares mutely, as though Kouyou’s stare pins her in place. “I . . . it’s late. I — um, I’m
going to shower. I’ll wash the dishes later if you clear the table while I’m gone.”

Ideally, she’d clear the table herself and wash the dishes. It is her dorm, after all, but something
tells her that she’ll be safer locked in the bathroom and under cold water.

It does help, but all her efforts go down the drain when she steps out of the bathroom to the sound
of Kouyou’s soft singing.

It’s not a lullaby she knows, but from the way Kyoka gurgles happily in her crib and reaches for
the hand Kouyou dangles above her, Yosano guesses it’s one Kouyou has sung to Kyoka often.

Kouyou is a Port Mafia executive. She’s a murderer and a criminal and she has a menacing cold
glare and — and she’s kind and she gets petulant about stupid things and she loves comfort and she
sings well and she has really pretty eyes and —

And Yosano thinks that maybe she needs another ice cold shower.

The day it happens is an unsuspecting one. Kyoka has been baby-fied for a week and a half, and
Yosano is slowly getting used to Kouyou’s flippant attitude when it comes to spending money.
She’s also getting used to coming to her dorm and finding Kouyou already there with food. On the
days when Yosano takes Kyoka to the agency, she comes home to the smell of dinner being
cooked — another of Kouyou’s attempts at getting better at cooking. On the days when Kouyou
takes Kyoka with her, Yosano comes home to dinner from a restaurant Kouyou likes.

The day it happens, Yosano wakes up and is hit with the sudden realisation that she never gave
Kouyou a key.

She means to ask Kouyou exactly how the executive is getting in and out of the dorm room, but
just as she turns over to see if Kouyou is awake to ask, loud ringing fills the dorm.

She watches Kouyou blindly reach out and slap around on the nights as she insisted was a
necessary purchase until she finds her phone and answers groggily without lifting her head or even
opening her eyes.

“Do I have to?” Kouyou asks like a child being told to eat their vegetables. “I’m looking after
Kyoka today.”

Yosano watches Kouyou sit up suddenly and tumble off the bed before scrambling to get to the
closet that is half occupied by Kouyou’s clothes.

“I’ll figure something out,” Kouyou says before hanging up and tossing her phone on the bed.
“Oh, you’re up. Did I wake you?”
Yosano sits up too and yawns involuntarily. She shakes her head.

“I hate to ask,” Kouyou says, “but will you be able to take Kyoka to the agency with you today? I
have to — something came up.”

Yosano nods. “Mafia work?”

Kouyou hums as she gathers her clothes for the day and shoves it all into a bag.

“That immediate?” Yosano asks, watching Kouyou zip up the bag.

“Mm.” Kouyou picks up her phone from the bed and leans toward Yosano. “I’ll be home late.
Don’t wait up.”

The door to Yosano’s dorm opens and shuts before Yosano registers that Kouyou kissed her cheek.
She can’t recall if that’s just a thing Kouyou does or if it’s never happened before.

It’s a fleeting little thing, but it picks and prods at Yosano’s mind all day. Ranpo gives her a
knowing look, but she’s not quite sure what it is he knows. She doesn’t want to ask, though.
Something tells her that whatever Ranpo has to say, she’s better off not hearing it.

Yosano means to go to sleep. She really does. She feeds Kyoka, readies her for bed and even puts
her to sleep, but when she turns away from the crib and looks at her bed, she stands there and stares
at it.

Then she walks to the couch and sits down. She reads a bit of one of the books Kouyou had
brought to occupy herself and she scrolls through her phone for a while.

She’s tired. She wants to sleep. But she prefers to sit on the couch instead of getting into bed. She
nods off a few times and each time she wakes, she tells herself that she really should get into bed.
But she stays on the couch.

She’s dozing off when the door opens slowly, almost silently. She yawns and shifts on the couch
when she catches sight of Kouyou.

“Hey, you.”

“You’re still up,” Kouyou states. She glances at the crib. “Did Kyoka keep you up? Or is Demon
Snow lurking about over there?”

Yosano wishes Kyoka’s ability was present so she could find a good reason for not wanting to fall
asleep. As it is, Demon Snow is not there, so Yosano shakes her head.

“I told you I’d be late,” Kouyou says, dropping the bag beside the couch and sitting down.

Yosano notes that Kouyou is back in her pajamas. She looks oddly cute when she’s stripped of her
poised elegance and chooses comfort. “Did you eat?”

“Hm? Yes, I did. Did you?”

Yosano nods. “Had some leftovers.”

“Yosano. Why are you still up?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”
“Is that so?”

“I think I wanted to wait up for you. Even though you told me not to.”

“You’re edging on dangerous territory, darling,” Kouyou says, echoing Yosano’s own words.

Yosano shrugs. “Seems like fun territory.”

“I am not Chuuya. I cannot promise you everything that he gives so freely.”

Yosano shrugs again. “Well, then it’s a good thing I’m not looking for whatever the hell is going
on in that apartment.”

“Then what are you looking for?”

“Fun?” Yosano asks. “Maybe it’s a proximity thing. I’m sure it’ll wear off once Kyoka is back to
normal and you stop coming around. But while you are here, it’s . . . enticing.”

“You find me enticing?” Kouyou asks, like she doesn’t believe it.

“Oh, yeah. Morning bed hair and all.”

“But you won’t be hurt if I cannot give you . . . whatever it is that Chuuya gives?”

“Not in the slightest.”

“I see.”

Yosano tilts her head. “That was a really cruel thing you did this morning. Kissing my cheek and
then vanishing off like that.”

“I see,” Kouyou says again. “How ever shall I make it up to you?”

“I think you should kiss me.”

“Do you, now?”

“Do you want me to cross my heart and swear not to get attached? Because I can.”

Kouyou shifts on the couch, leaning towards Yosano and bracing herself with one arm on the
backrest, invading Yosano’s space so comfortably.

“Yosano, may I kiss you?”

“Akiko.”

“Hm?”

“My name. Akiko.”

Kouyou grins. “Akiko, may I kiss you?”

“Please.”

Kouyou’s lips taste like cherry wine and for a moment, Yosano finds herself a little miffed that
Kouyou’s dinner included wine. She wonders for a second who Kouyou’s company for the
evening was, but the weight of Kouyou’s free hand on Yosano’s waist distracts her well enough.
Kouyou tastes like cherry wine, but Yossno thinks she’d find kissing Kouyou just as addicting
without the lingering taste of her drink of choice.

When Kouyou retreats, Yosano keeps her eyes closed and chuckles softly as Kouyou rests her
forehead against Yosano’s.

“I meant for that to be far more chaste than it was,” Kouyou whispers.

“I’m not complaining. In fact, I wouldn’t say no to seconds.”

“Greedy little thing, aren’t you?”

“Are you complaining?”

“Not at all, darling.”

Yosano looks up when Dazai and Atsushi appear at her desk, wearing matching shit-eating grins.

She sighs. “What did you hurt and will the reason give me trauma or is it safe to ask how?”

“We’re not hurt,” Atsushi says.

“We just want to know what happened to your resolve about not falling into the baby matchmaking
trap.”

Yosano narrows her eyes. “What are you talking about?”

“A baby in the home has a tendency to foster relationships,” Atsushi says, sounding like he’s
reciting from a mildly questionable gossip magazine. “You asked Ane-san to help you with Kyoka,
so I suppose this was inevitable.”

“Only a matter of time,” Dazai agrees.

“Boys, please. Stop speaking in circles.”

“You have a crush on Ane-san,” Dazai says with a cheeky grin.

Yosano scoffs. “I do not.”

“You were dazed yesterday,” Atsushi says, “and we heard from Chuuya-nii that there was an
important meeting yesterday, so naturally, Ane-san was there for that. But today, you’re practically
glowing. You missed her yesterday.”

“That’s a lot of speculation you have, there.”

“Ah, Atsushi, we were wrong. Our dear Yosano did not simply miss Ane-san yesterday. She had
her guts rearranged last night.”

“I did not!” Yosano shrieks, standing up and grabbing Dazai by his collar. “Quit making absurd
assumptions!”

“Why are you blushing?”

“Because you’re an embarrassment! You caught me off guard, you moron.”

“Ooh, defensive,” Atsushi says.

“Don’t you two have work to do?” Yosano snaps. She lets go of Dazai. “Go on, get. As far away
from me as you can.”

“Mark my words,” Dazai says, straightening his clothes. “You’ll be head over heels for Ane-san by
the time Kyoka returns to us.”

“Shut! Up!”

Kunikida smiles at Dazai. “It’s so nice to see someone else at their wits end with you. I feel like I
have solidarity, now.”

Dazai rolls his eyes. “Whatever. I’m going to take a nap.”

Yosano glares at her paperwork. She does not have a crush on Kouyou. Not in the slightest.

It is just a fling.

Right?
 Chapter 3
Chapter Notes

omg their first not-date

“Welcome back,” Kouyou says when Yosano enters the dorm. “We had quite a day today.”

“Oh?” Yosano says, sweeping Kyoka up when the little girl raises her arms and grabs at the air. “Is
that so?”

Kouyou, who sits sideways on the couch with one of her books, smiles. “Mhm. Someone had to
accompany me to an emergency meeting with the boss and got quite offended that she wasn’t
being paid her due attention.”

“Oh, what did you do?” Yosano asks Kyoka, as if Kyoka can answer.

“I used my ability to slice the boss’ desk in half,” Kouyou whispers behind her book.

“Kyoka!” Yosano looks at Kouyou. “She didn’t.”

“Oh, she did. I had to try very hard to hold my laughter. I wish you could’ve seen the look on his
face. I haven’t seen him that offended since Chuuya barfed on him.”

Yosano tries not to laugh, but she cannot contain her amused grin. “Oh, dear.”

“Voom,” Kyoka says, staring intently at Yosano.

“I think,” Kouyou says, closing her book and swinging her legs off the couch, “we should take
Kyoka out for a drive.”

Yosano raises her eyebrows. “A drive?”

“Mhm. We have two car seats at our disposal and I am in need of a relaxing drive, plus Kyoka
seems to like it when I have to take her to work with me.”

“I’m not getting into a car with one of your mafia drivers.”

“I was thinking you could drive,” Kouyou says, holding out a set of car keys. She snatches them
back when Yosano reaches out for them. “You do know how to drive, right?”

“Of course. I just prefer walking to the agency.”

Kouyou holds the keys out again. “Then take me on a little road trip, hm?”

“Sure,” Yosano says. “Uh, do you want to change first?”

Kouyou glances down at her clothes — at Yosano’s clothes, the detective just realises — and
shrugs. “I don’t plan to be seen by anyone I need to seem all proper and poised around. You should
change out of your work clothes, though. I saw a really cute knit jersey in your wardrobe that I
think would look divine if you wore it right.”
It’s not a date, Yosano tells herself as she opens her closet and pulls out said jersey. Not a date, not
a date, not a date. Not a date.

It is not a date, Kouyou tells herself, even as Yosano pulls into a drive-thru and orders chocolate
milkshakes just because Kouyou happened to mention that she hasn’t had one in a while.

It is not a date, she reminds herself as Yosano hands her one of the two large milkshakes before
parking the car off to pour out the small milkshake into a sippy cup before handing it to Kyoka,
who is absolutely delighted to taste a chocolate milkshake.

It is definitely not a date, Kouyou tries to think as Yosano turns to her with those pretty pink eyes of
hers and says, “Where do you want to go?”

Something tells Kouyou that anywhere with you is not the appropriate answer. “Have you ever
been on the Cosmo Clock?”

Yosano tilts her head. “Actually, no.”

“Let’s go, then. I’m sure Kyoka will love it.”

“All right.”

The drive there is safe. The walk to the ferris wheel is safe. Even purchasing the tickets is safe.

What isn’t safe is that when the time comes to push through the crowd to get on the wheel, Yosano
guides Kouyou with nothing more than a hand on her lower back.

What isn’t safe is the way Yosano and Kyoka wear matching awed expressions, or the way
Yosano turns her pretty eyes on Kouyou and softly thanks her for the ride.

So much for not a date.

“What’s that for?” Yosano asks, turning away from the view.

Kouyou blinks at the photo she’s just taken. “Ah — for the album.”

Oh, great save. Now she has to put it on the group where everyone will blast her for taking photos
of Yosano when the detective isn’t looking. Kouyou really doesn’t need to go to work and sit
through Tachihara and Gin’s stupid knowing looks under the pretense of tea time.

“Take another,” Yosano says, turning away from the glass and facing Kouyou. “We weren’t
looking.”

Kouyou does, but this one isn’t much better, because they’re nearly at the peak and all the lights
backdrop Yosano in a way that makes her seem almost angelic. But, it’s clearly a posed photo and
Yosano is clearly holding Kyoka towards the camera to show that it’s for the baby album, so it’s
still a little better.

She sends the photo off with a little caption; Baby’s first time on the ferris wheel.

She receives a few messages about how cute Kyoka looks before pocketing her phone again.

“It’s so pretty up here,” Yosano says as they reach the peak. “There’s your building.”

From here, they can see the Port Mafia buildings clear as if it were daytime due to the lights on the
top floor. Mori must be still there getting his desk replaced. But that’s not all they can see from up
at the top.

“Mm, and there’s yours.”

Kyoka claps gleefully as they begin their descent and the lights grow closer.

Yosano bounces her gently. “You like it too, Kyoka?”

Something about how easygoing Yosano is with Kyoka now compared to two weeks ago stirs
something in Kouyou’s chest.

Nope. No, no, no, no. She is not doing this. Absolutely not.

Yet, when their feet are firmly on the ground again and Yosano is guiding Kouyou back to the car
with one hand while she holds Kyoka secure with the other, Kouyou turns to her and says, “Do you
want to get dinner?”

Fuck. This is undeniably a date.

Somehow, despite there being a baby in the mix, Yosano deduces that she is currently on a date
with Kouyou.

“Do you come here often?” Yosano asks after they’ve been seated and offered a bottle of wine —
which Kouyou declined on the grounds of not wanting to drink too much and instead asked for two
glasses.

“Often enough,” Kouyou says. “It opens late, so I tend to only come here if my other favourites are
closed. But often enough that most of the waiters know me.”

“Must be nice to be a regular somewhere other than the cafe under your office,” Yosano says with
a teasing grin.

A waiter approaches then, and tells Kouyou that he’s delighted to see her again.

“Your usual?” he asks.

Kouyou offers him a smile and a nod. “Yes.”

“And your partner?” the waiter asks, turning to Yosano, who feels her face flame and completely
blanks on every item she thought sounded good.

“Ah, the same, please.”

“Of course. Shall I bring something for your little one? We have those colouring pages.”

“That would be lovely, thank you.”

Yosano wants to melt into her chair.

“It is nice,” Kouyou says when the waiter leaves, “but they can get a bit nosy when you’re a
familiar face. Sometimes it’s easier to just let them assume.”

“It’s fine,” Yosano says, taking a sip of her wine in the hopes that the chilled liquid will cool her
flaming cheeks down. “I’m fine. It’s all right.”
“Yosano, we can leave if you are uncomfortable.”

Yosano shakes her head. It’s not often that she gets the opportunity to sit for fine dining. “It’s fine,
really. I’m just surprised you picked a fine dining restaurant when you’re wearing my jeans.”

Kouyou looks down and shrugs. “They make my butt look cute.”

Yosano cannot argue with that, but she’d rather dissolve into an embarrassed puddle than admit
that she noticed.

“What did you order for me, by the way?”

“Oh, it’s just a sushi platter. Very simple. I think you’ll like it.”

It doesn’t escape Yosano’s notice that Kouyou ordered her food, like a real date might.

This is one hundred percent a date. There’s no doubt about it now. Not to mention, the entire
waitstaff has probably heard about Kouyou’s ‘partner’ and her ‘little one’ by now.

Somehow, Yosano isn’t as put off by the assumption as she might’ve been two weeks ago.

“A little birdie told me you went on a date last night.”

Kouyou shoots Gin a dirty glare. “I did not.”

“Come on, Ane-san. You took her to the Cosmic Clock and a fancy restaurant. Admit it, you’re
dating the detective.”

“I assure you, I am not.”

Gin is lucky she offered to babysit Kyoka so that Kouyou could attend her meeting without the risk
of another desk snapping in two.

“I don’t know, it seems to me like you are.”

Kouyou glares even harder.

“Anyway, I have a job, so I’m just here to drop Kyoka off.”

Last time someone babysat, Higuchi, then, Kouyou had her set Kyoka in the playpen she bought
and set up in Kouyou’s office. Today, Kouyou gets up and holds out her hands for Kyoka.

“There’s my little lady,” she coos when Kyoka takes one look at her and tumbles out of Gin’s
arms.

“I’ll leave you to it,” Gin says, nodding a greeting and leaving.

“Want to help me get some work done, little lady?” Kouyou asks, sitting down behind her desk
again and showing Kyoka her laptop screen. “Help me review an incident report, hm?”

Kyoka looks at the photograph on the screen of one of Kouyou’s girls. She points and babbles
something.

“That, my little lady, is Miya Shigisawa, and she is unfortunately the reason two of my customers
got into a violent brawl in the middle of one of my buildings.”
“Bah,” Kyoka says, wrinkling her nose at Kouyou, almost as if she doesn’t like what Kouyou is
saying.

“Well, Miya’s never caused anything before. The two men likely just wanted her all to themselves
and had a bit of a jealousy fit between them. Do you know what jealousy is, little lady?”

Kouyou thinks she should feel a little silly, trying to discuss things like this with a toddler who
hasn’t even said a single proper word yet, but it feels oddly normal. As if it’s something Kouyou is
used to doing.

“I think you’re right, little lady. I should investigate this further.”

Kyoka giggles when Kouyou tickles her cheek.

Kouyou’s phone lights up with a text. It’s from Yosano, about working overtime on a case. She
unlocks her phone and tells Yosano that it’s no problem and she’ll be fine putting Kyoka to bed.
When she closes the messaging app and moves to lock her phone again, Kyoka squeals and reaches
out for the phone.

“What is it, little lady?”

“Ma,” Kyoka says, grabbing the air between her and the phone.

Kouyou can’t tell if Kyoka is just making sounds or if she’s trying to say something, but she gets a
glimpse of her home screen when she looks at her phone.

It’s the photo of Yosano and Kyoka from the Cosmic Clock — the one with both of them entranced
by the view.

“That sneaky little bitch.”

“Bitch!” Kyoka says.

“Really? You had to pick that word?”

“Bitch!”

“You better not say that to anyone else. Do we have a deal, little lady?”

Kyoka reaches for the phone again. “Ma.”

Oddly enough, Kouyou doesn’t feel like changing her wallpaper back to the same cherry tree
blossoms that decorate her lock screen. She swipes on her screen to the page with the fewest icons,
holds the phone in front of Kyoka and watches her little hands tap on Yosano’s face.

Kyoka definitely isn’t just saying random sounds.

And Kouyou definitely went out on a date with Yosano last night.

Yosano is tired. She had a long day and an ugly case and she just wants to get to her silent dorm, be
alone, crawl under her futon and deal with everything after the sun rises again.

She gets her key into the lock before she remembers Kouyou and baby Kyoka. It’s weird that the
thought of seeing two other faces doesn’t further exhaust her like the idea of running into one of
her coworkers right now does.
Even though Kyoka and Kouyou are probably both asleep, Yosano feels ever so slightly better
about her day having remembered that she gets to come home to the two of them.

She opens the door as slowly as she can and sets her bag down in the genkan so she can silently
take her shoes off and pad across the dorm to her bed — her bed! — but she’s not quiet enough,
because she hears stirring and then a sleepy, “Welcome back.”

Yosano stands up straighter and finds Kouyou sitting up on the couch and rubbing her eyes. Did
Kouyou try to wait up for her?

“Oh, the food got cold.”

Kouyou sounds disappointed as she looks at the table.

“It’s all right,” Yosano says quietly. “We can reheat it in the morning.”

“You’re not going to eat?”

Yosano doesn’t think she can keep anything down right now. “I had to pronounce two people dead
today. I’m not up to eating.”

“Oh, darling, I am so sorry.”

Yosano shrugs and joins Kouyou on the couch. “Occupational hazard. We don’t always get there
in time. How was your day? Tell me something good.”

Kouyou hums. “Well, I received an incident report from one of my houses about one of my girls
causing a brawl between two customers, but Kyoka seems to think my girl is innocent.”

“Oh, does she?” Yosano asks, amused.

“Oh, absolutely. She gave me quite the look when I implied that Miya was to blame.”

“Miya?”

“One of my girls.”

“Ah. Well, what are you going to do about it?”

“Launch an investigation,” Kouyou says, pausing to yawn. “It’s more than likely that the men
started the fight themselves. I’m just happy none of my girls were hurt in the process, though I lost
two very expensive champagne bottles. I’ll have them pay for it, I think. The men, that is.”

“Sounds like a good plan.”

Yosano can feel Kouyou’s gaze on her, but she keeps her own on the small TV in front of her.

“You don’t seem in any way disgusted or offended.”

Yosano shrugs and tilts her head back to rest her head on the backrest and stare at the ceiling. “A
job’s a job. People have done worse to put a bite of food in their own mouth. Sex work is still work
and you sound like you genuinely care about those women so. . .” She shrugs again. “They could
be working for worse brothel owners.”

“Hm.”
Yosano rolls her head to look at Kouyou. “What?”

“Others have been less than kind regarding their distaste for my profession.”

Yosano rolls her eyes. “You work for the mafia, Ozaki. That’s kind of a red flag.”

“No one is perfect.”

That actually gets a laugh to bubble up and out of Yosano, who’d assumed she was all out of good
feelings for the day.

“And you can call me Kouyou, you know?”

“I’ll do that when you keep calling me Akiko.”

Kouyou doesn’t respond. Yosano looks at her, with her deep, cherry red eyes wide, almost crimson
in the moonlight. Her hair is braided loosely, as Yosano has learned it always is when she goes to
bed.

She has always seemed intimidating, from the way her hair is always combed to perfection to her
sharp painted nails. But she sits on Yosano’s couch, in Yosano’s oversized hoodie, looking so
comfortable and so very human. She’s pretty, and not just in a lethal way. She looks so soft when
she’s surprised.

“You’re staring,” Kouyou whispers.

“Am I not allowed to?” Yosano whispers back.

“Akiko.”

Yosano smiles. “Kouyou.”

“Why are you staring at me?”

“Because you’re pretty.”

Kouyou tilts her head.

“And you’re wearing my clothes. I like it when you wear my clothes.”

Yosano thinks now would be a good time to shut up, but Yosano has had a horrible day and she is
in no mood to listen to the rational, smarter part of herself.

“I really want to kiss you.”

Kouyou tilts her head again. “I really want you to kiss me.”

Yosano grabs the front of Kouyou’s hoodie and yanks, grinning when Kouyou loses her balance
and scrambles for purchase in order to not land on her ass on the floor. She ends up in Yosano’s
lap, glaring daggers.

“Rude.”

Yosano kisses her very briefly. “Cute.”

Kouyou pouts. “You almost threw me to the ground and that’s all you’re going to give me?”
Yosano kisses her again. “It was a little funny.”

“I think you should sleep on the couch tonight,” Kouyou snaps. Her eyebrows are furrowed and
her mouth is set in an angry pout, but her eyes sparkle.

“I’m sorry, baby.”

The flush that rises from Kouyou’s neck and into her cheeks is criminally adorable. “Stop that.”

“Oh, but you call me darling all the time.”

“Exactly. You’re used to it.”

Yosano scoffs softly. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she still recalls that Kyoka is sleeping in
her crib. “Yeah, after two weeks of it. You’ll get used to it.”

Kouyou scowls and tugs on Yosano’s shirt in a silent plea for another kiss, but before Yosano
reaches her, Kouyou yawns.

“I think it’s bedtime for you,” Yosano says.

Kouyou frowns and wraps her arms around Yosano’s waist, burying her face in Yosano’s shoulder.
“I’m perfectly fine right here.”

“Aw, does the princess want me to carry her to bed?”

Kouyou doesn’t say anything.

“Oh,” Yosano says, grinning, “you like being called a princess.”

Kouyou grumbles a crude curse into Yosano’s shirt.

“Dear me, what a foul mouth for a princess.”

“Stop,” Kouyou whines.

“Not a chance, princess.”

“You’re being mean to me.”

Yosano nudges Kouyou to get her to lift her head. When she does, Yosano tilts her head to meet her
own gaze. “Do you want me to stop saying it? I’ll stop if you really want me to.”

Kouyou’s pink cheeks turn a shade or two pinker. “I’m not — I just used to being the one taking
care of and looking out for other people.”

Yosano tucks a lock of Kouyou’s bangs behind her ear. “How about this; from now on, you just let
me know what you don’t like and I’ll stop doing whatever that is?”

Kouyou hums. “Okay.”

“Now, back to my earlier question. Does the princess want me to carry her to bed?”

A little less surprised by it this time, Kouyou nods. She yelps when Yosano stands, immediately
wrapping her arms around Yosano’s shoulders as if she’s afraid Yosano will drop her.

“I am not going to drop you, princess.”

“I believe that you believe you won’t.”

Yosano thinks it’s kind of cute how afraid Kouyou is of being dropped. The walk from the couch
to the bed isn’t long at all, but Yosano takes her time.

“Hold on,” she says, before removing her hand from Kouyou’s back to pull the sheets down. “All
right, there we go.”

“Don’t use your Kyoka voice on me,” Kouyou says, but her flaming cheeks diminish the weight of
her chiding tone.

“You’re blushing. Should I actually use my Kyoka voice on you more often?”

“No, it’s not that.”

“Oh?” Yosano asks, pulling the covers up and tucking Kouyou in like she’s the baby of the three
of them.

“It’s not.”

“What is it, then?”

“You just — with one hand —”

Cute, Yosano thinks.

“I’m going to shower and change,” she tells Kouyou, “then I’ll be right back, okay?”

Kouyou hums and nods.

Very absently, with zero thought behind her actions, after she grabs a towel and her clothes,
Yosano smooths Kouyou’s hair down and kisses her forehead before walking to her bathroom.

She doesn’t even realise she’s done it until she gets into bed herself and Kouyou immediately
shuffles towards her and looks up at her with unnaturally big doe eyes.

“What?” Yosano whispers.

“Kiss me goodnight properly,” Kouyou says.

Oh, Yosano thinks.

She trails her fingers over the side of Kouyou’s face, smiling when she closes her eyes and tilts into
the touch, before lifting Kouyou’s chin and placing a chaste kiss on her lips.

“Goodnight, Kouyou.”

Kouyou hums and burrows closer to Yosano, as if she’s cold and needs more warmth.

“Goodnight, Akiko.”

Yosano wraps her arms around Kouyou and closes her eyes. Kouyou hums happily and burrows
impossibly closer.

Oh.

Oh, no.
 Chapter 4

Yosano stands in the middle of the office for a moment, scanning each of her coworkers before
zeroing in on Atsushi and beelining for him.

“You,” she snaps, slamming her hands on the empty desk in front of Atsushi and fixing him with
one of her glares.

“I didn’t do it!” Atsushi cries immediately.

“What time does Chuuya get home? I have to call him.”

Atsushi tilts his head. “Huh?”

Dazai leans over into Atsushi’s space. “Whatever could you possibly need our Chuuya for?”

“I have a question about flings and none of you are attractive enough to have had one.”

Dazai’s mouth falls open and Kunikida lets out an undignified squeak.

“I’m sorry,” Yosano says, “but Tanizaki is too soft to have a fling, Kunikida has too many
conditions for his partner to fulfill and therefore would not have a fling, Atsushi has literally never
been attracted to anyone in his life before, Ranpo is in a committed relationship and you . . . you’re
Dazai.”

“Excuse me!”

“You didn’t have to call us unattractive,” Kunikida grumbles.

“Sorry.” Yosano turns back to Atsushi. “Well? What time?”

“Uh, it’s his off-day today, so he’s at home. You could visit, but Ryuu is there too.”

Yosano turns to Kunikida. “Call me if something comes up.”

Kunikida is still too offended about being called unattractive to tell Yosano to stay and work.

Once Yosano is out of the office, Dazai gives Atsushi a smug grin.

“Fine! We’ll make crab tonight!”

“Yes!”

“I’m not soft,” Tanizaki mumbles to himself.

Yosano knocks on the door and waits, not entirely sure how she’s going to phrase her question.
She’s actually not fully sure what her question is.

“Detective,” Akutagawa says when he opens the door, “what can I do for you?”

“What exactly does a fling entail?”

Akutagawa blinks at her a few times before pulling the door open and gesturing for Yosano to
enter.
“Chuuya-nii! Butterfly has a question for you!”

Yosano slips out of her shoes and pads down the hallway after Akutagawa. He points to the living
room.

“Ask him,” he says before vanishing down a different hallway, presumably to his room.

Chuuya gestures to the adjacent couch and waves his phone at her. “Atsushi said you had a
question about flings?”

Yosano nods. “Ah, I’m not sure what my question is.”

Chuuya points the phone at her. “You want to know if catching feelings is normal or not.”

Yosano shrugs, then nods again.

“No, that is not standard fling behaviour.”

“Oh.”

“You, detective, have succumbed to the baby matchmaking trap.”

“Ugh, this is horrible.” Yosano drops her head into her hands and tries not to yank her hair out
from the root.

“Why? You wouldn’t be the first detective to get into bed with the mafia and something tells me
you won’t be the last.”

“That’s not the issue. Kouyou said she isn’t interested in a relationship.”

“Oh, Kouyou, is it?”

Yosano rolls her eyes at Chuuya. “We are sharing a single dorm room. It’s familiar.”

“If Ane-san wanted you to call her something familiar, it would be that and not her name.” Chuuya
grins at Yosano. “For a detective, you’re being pretty obtuse about this whole thing.”

Yosano scowls.

“If you like her, go for it. Rejection hurts but it’s better than regret.”

“Speaking from experience?”

“Nope. Well, not mine, at least. By the way, what gave you the idea that I’m the person to talk to
about what a fling is?”

“You’re snarky and pretty and you’ve got a cute butt.” Yosano shrugs. “Dazai doesn’t shut up
about it.”

“Damnit. I was hoping the lesbian noticed, because that would mean I have an objectively cute
butt.”

Yosano shrugs again. “Sorry. I wasn’t looking. But you have a pretty face so that probably helps.
Plus, you’re a little mean. People like that.”

“This is the weirdest conversation I have had in my entire life.”

“Really? I had to discuss the value of math with Kunikida one time. I know the value of math, I
just wanted to piss him off a little.”

Chuuya leans forward. “Listen, I’m being serious now. Ane-san might not receive your confession
the way you would like her to. She doesn’t think love is worth anything to her. More than
anything, the idea that you might love her will terrify the shit out of her. You have to decide if you
like her enough to deal with that.”

“I’m not scared of rejection.”

“Good. I don’t have to give you the shovel talk, do I?”

“Given that your shovel talk probably promises the use of an actual shovel, I think I know what not
to do. Plus, we didn’t give you a shovel talk about Dazai.”

“Yeah, because he brought his own shovel.” Chuuya tilts his head at Yosano. “Take care of my
sister, okay?”

“I will. I think . . . I like her a lot. I like coming home to her and I like the things she does that make
me smile and I like making her laugh. I’ll take good care of her.”

“Oh,” Chuuya says.

“What?”

He smiles, warmly and brightly. “It’s nothing.”

When Yosano leaves, Chuuya marches to Akutagawa’s room and holds his hand out expectantly.

“What?”

“It’s been exactly twenty days. Pay up, gremlin.”

“Fuck. She couldn’t wait two more days?”

Chuuya cackles softly and counts his win. “Face it, kid, I’m just smarter than you.”

“Just you wait. I’ll win when it comes to Ane-san.”

“Yeah, you wish. Who did Ane-san personally oversee, huh? Me or you? That’s right, me. I know
her better than you.”

“Yeah, you’re blinded by your view of her. I’m an objective pair of eyes.”

“And yet,” Chuuya says, waving the bills at Akutagawa, “you lost.”

“Get out of my room.”

Yosano doesn’t know what to do. She really likes Kouyou and if Vee’s ability is consistent, then
she has less than a week before Kouyou stops spending her time in Yosano’s dorm, therefore, she
only has under a week to decide what to do about these feelings of hers.

But when she returns to her dorm after work and Kouyou greets her with a smile and the smell of
food, Yosano thinks her worries can wait. For tonight, she’ll simply enjoy Kouyou’s company.
She does it again the next night. And the following. And the fourth. And the fifth.

On the twenty-sixth day of Kyoka’s baby-fication, Yosano gets a text to say she’s being held up at
work and that Chuuya will take Kyoka home to his apartment when he leaves. She tells Yosano
not to worry and that she will pick Kyoka up before she comes back to Yosano’s dorm, but Yosano
tells her that she doesn’t have a problem picking Kyoka up herself and that she’ll handle dinner.

She catches a lift with Atsushi and Dazai after work and enters their apartment to find Akutagawa
entertaining Kyoka by dangling several items over her with Rashomon, almost like a mobile of
sorts.

“I thought Ane-san was going to pick her up later,” Chuuya says.

“Yeah,” Yosano says, “but I told her I’d fetch Kyoka and she can come straight home.”

“Home, huh?” Dazai asks, raising his eyebrows.

“Shut up,” Yosano snaps at him.

“You two,” Chuuya tells Dazai and Atsushi, “dinner’s almost ready, so go wash your hands.”

“Hi, baby,” Yosano says when Kyoka notices her and lets out an excited squeal, ignoring the toys
Akutagawa sets down. Kyoka sits up and crawls across the carpet, giggling when Yosano sweeps
her up easily. “Did you have fun with Kouyou today?”

Kyoka gurgles happily, patting Yosano’s face.

“Ready to go home, kiddo?” Yosano bounces her once, if only to make her laugh again, before
offering Akutagawa and Chuuya a grateful smile. “Thanks for watching her.”

Chuuya waves her off. “We have experience.”

“I’ll be leaving now. Thanks again.”

“I’ll walk you out,” Chuuya says. “Ryuu, lay the table.”

Chuuya waits while Yosano slips into her shoes, speaking only after he opens the door.

“Did you tell her?”

Yosano shakes her head after a moment. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Any day now, it’ll end. Say something before you end up regretting it.”

“You and Dazai still ended up together even after it ended.”

“Ane-san isn’t me. She’s far more stubborn and far less receptive to affection. She will leave and
she will assume that she is no longer welcome. Tell her.”

Yosano nods. “I will.”

But when Kouyou comes home long after Yosano puts Kyoka to bed, she doesn’t tell her.

“Welcome back,” she says when she hears the door close again.

“I thought I told you not to wait up,” Kouyou says, humming when Yosano meets her at the
genkan and takes her hand.

“I wanted to. Did something happen?”

“Mm. Remember Miya?”

“The girl your customers fought over?”

Kouyou nods as she lets herself be led further into the dorm. “Well, one of my subordinates got a
hold of one of the men. I was right. Miya wasn’t at fault.”

“Did you have him killed?” Yosano teases, offering Kouyou a cup of warm tea.

Kouyou gives her a dry look.

“I’m kidding.”

“No, I had him pay for half the damages. We’re still tracking down the other one to pay for the
remainder.”

“What about Miya?”

Kouyou sips at her tea and sighs. “This is really good.”

“Thank you.”

“Miya is still on paid leave of absence and will receive a bonus with her salary for this month.
Emotional damages, its the least I can offer. Both men have been banned from that brothel and I’ve
spread their information to all my girls as a precaution. They aren’t banned from my other brothels,
but they won’t be taken on as clients so freely anymore. All on Miya’s request.”

Yosano hums. “That’s good. I can speak to Miya, if you want. I’m licensed.”

“Should you be involving yourself in mafia affairs like this, darling?” Kouyou asks curiously.

Yosano rolls her eyes. “Miya’s place of work being mafia-owned doesn’t mean she works for the
mafia. She works for you and that means she’s still free to see any therapist she wishes. I’m not
involving myself in mafia affairs. I’m offering to speak to a potentially traumatised girl.”

“Well, in that case, I will pass your information on to her.”

“I like how much you care about them, you know.”

Kouyou shrugs. “It’s the least I can do.”

“Well, the bar is genuinely on the floor.”

Yosano is mildly surprised when Kouyou leans into her, sighing and shifting until she’s
comfortable.

“I like that you don’t judge me for it.”

“You banned them for fighting in front of one of your girls and you aren’t stripping her of her only
income for needing some time, princess. Anyone with common sense would see that you are the
farthest thing from cruel.”
Kouyou doesn’t respond. She only hums and curls up further against Yosano.

“Do you want to go to bed? You’ve had a very long day.”

“I’m comfortable here.”

“You’ll wake up with a stiff neck.”

Kouyou grumbles incoherently.

“Kouyou, princess, you cannot sleep in your kimono.”

“I’m tired.”

“Would you . . . do you want me to help you?”

Kouyou stills for a moment before tilting her head to look up at Yosano.

“I promise to lay everything neatly on the dresser so you can fold it the way you like in the
morning.”

Kouyou blinks once before lowering her head again and burying her face in the oversized shirt
Yosano had decided to wear to sleep in tonight.

“Princess —”

“Give me a second, darling.”

“All right,” Yosano says, resting her hand on Kouyou’s back. “Take your time.”

When Kouyou relaxes again and her breathing evens out, Yosano whispers, “Does the princess
want me to carry her to bed?”

Kouyou doesn’t hesitate. “Yes.”

Yosano will clean up the teacups in the morning. She stands and picks Kouyou up in one, fluid
motion, smiling at Kouyou’s surprised blinking.

“Anyone ever tell you that you look like a baby deer when you’re surprised?”

“Not many people are capable of surprising me,” Kouyou says, resting her head on Yosano’s
shoulder. “Can’t I just sleep like this?”

“I’d let you, but then you’d crease the fabric and bitch about it all day.”

Kouyou pouts.

Yosano lightly bumps her nose against Kouyou’s forehead. “I think it’s cute, but I’d rather not have
you demand Tanizaki’s iron again. The poor boy looked like he was going to pass out in fear.”

“As he should. I’m very scary.”

“Of course you are, princess.”

Kouyou stands when Yosano sets her down in front of the bed and lets Yosano pull away her
cloak.
Yosano told Kouyou that a dresser was unnecessary, but Kouyou insisted that this one was small
and would look very nice and be useful. Kouyou was right, of course, but it’s just one more thing in
Yosano’s dorm that’s going to remind her of Kouyou when she leaves. Yosano sets the cloak down
and turns back to Kouyou.

“What do you want to wear to sleep in?”

Kouyou hums in thought. “The big shirt,” she says. “The soft one, with the little cartoon bunnies.”

“That’s your favourite, isn’t it?” Yosano asks, pulling the shirt in question out from her pile of
pajamas.

“Yes, and it’s mine forever now.”

“If that’s what my princess wants,” Yosano says, smiling when Kouyou’s cheeks pinken and she
looks away.

She sets the shirt down on the bed and reaches for the bow next. The large ribbon is laid over the
cloak.

Kouyou always looks so much smaller without the bow.

“Akiko,” Kouyou almost whines, “I’m tired.”

“I know, princess.”

She unties the kimono and helps Kouyou out of it, making sure not to crease it in any way before
giving Kouyou a smile.

“Almost done.”

She pulls at the thin ribbon holding Kouyou’s slip together and murmurs an apology when Kouyou
shivers as the air hits her skin. Yosano guides Kouyou’s arms into the shirt and lets her sit as she
does the buttons up. When she’s done, she fixes the collar and kisses Kouyou’s forehead.

“You’re doing so well, princess. Let’s take these out of your hair, hm?”

Kouyou sits dutifully still as Yosano undoes her hair and lays all the items out on the nightstand
for Kouyou to find in the morning and runs her fingers through Kouyou’s loose hair.

“Better, isn’t it?”

Kouyou hums. “Comfy.”

“I know. Come on, under the covers, there we go.”

When she turns away, Kouyou grabs her wrist.

“I just want to check on Kyoka,” she says, taking Kouyou’s hand off her wrist and kissing the back
of her hand before she steps away.

Kyoka is still fast asleep, holding her rabbit plush in one hand. Satisfied, Yosano walks around to
the other side and slips under the covers.

She’s hardly surprised when Kouyou shuffles towards the middle and wordlessly asks to be held.
Flings definitely don’t do this.

“Goodnight, Akiko.”

Yosano kisses the top of Kouyou’s head. “Goodnight, Kouyou.”

Kouyou wakes up to a still dark sky and the sound of crying. She feels Yosano shift and grumble,
so she sits up first. “I got it,” she tells Yosano, sliding off the bed and crossing the room to Kyoka’s
crib — she notices Demon Snow lurking on the other side of the crib.

“Hey, little lady. What’s wrong?”

Kyoka only cries harder when Kouyou offers her a finger to hold.

“Oh, come here, you,” Kouyou says, picking Kyoka up.

She stops crying when Kouyou lets her rest her head on Kouyou’s shoulder and Kouyou pats her
back gently.

“Did you have a nightmare, little lady? Is that why Yuki is standing there?” When Demon Snow
disappears, Kouyou knows that Kyoka is feeling better. However, when she tries to place Kyoka
back in the crib, Kyoka won’t have it.

“Bring her here,” Yosano says through a yawn. “There’s space.”

“All right.”

Kouyou feels slightly jealous that Kyoka gets to sleep in Yosano’s arms, but relief that Kyoka
actually goes back to sleep outweighs the jealousy.

She lays down and pulls the covers up, smiling when Kyoka reaches out for her and grabs her
finger as tightly as she can. It only makes her smile wider when Yosano’s arm that was resting on
Kyoka stretches further to take Kouyou’s other hand.

Kouyou doesn’t ever want to leave.

Kouyou isn’t surprised to wake up in the morning with her hair in Kyoka’s fist. She is surprised to
find that neither Kyoka nor her fist is the same size it was last night.

Kyoka is back to her normal body and as delighted as Kouyou is that she will not have to risk being
puked on whenever she has to burp Kyoka, she finds that she’s a little upset that her stay has come
to an end.

When she tries to retrieve her hair, she finds a pair of blue eyes staring at her.

“Good morning, Ane-san.”

Kouyou grins at her complete lack of a reaction. “Good morning, little lady.”

“Ah, I haven’t heard that in a while.”

“Well, I haven’t had to take care of you for a while.”

“Is it all right if I ask what you are doing here?”

“Yuki unsettled Akiko, so she asked me to stay with you.”

Kyoka’s eyes widen the tiniest bit before she turns her head to the other side, only to be met with
Yosano’s amused grin.

“Good morning,” Kyoka says after a moment.

“Morning,” Yosano says before extracting her arm and sitting up. She yawns and stretches her
arms up above her head. “Do you want to pretend like you’re still a baby so you don’t have to go to
work? I’ll tell everyone Kouyou took you with her today.”

Kyoka blinks at Yosano and Yosano chuckles.

“Did you know that the two of you look exactly alike when you’re surprised?”

“Do we?” Kouyou asks, finally understanding why Yosano calls her surprised expression adorable.
If it looks anything like Kyoka’s, then she gets it.

“I’m all right,” Kyoka says, sitting up too. “But can you go to my dorm and get me my clothes?”

“Sure,” Yosano says. “But can I ask why?”

“Kenji leaves around this time and if I go outside in a bunny onesie, he’ll never let me live it
down.”

Yosano laughs. “Let me brush my teeth first and then I’ll go, okay?”

Kyoka nods.

Once Yosano disappears into the bathroom, Kyoka turns to Kouyou and whispers, “Why aren’t
you wearing any pants?”

“None of your business, little lady,” Kouyou whispers back, giving Kyoka a cheeky grin.

Kyoka wrinkles her nose, looking exactly like she did when she’d been baby’d. “Atsushi was right.
The baby matchmaking trap is real.”

“I’ll be back in a minute,” Yosano calls when she exits the bathroom and makes her way to the
dorm. “Be nice to each other.”

Kyoka looks at Kouyou again after Yosano leaves. “Why is there a bed in here?”

“I didn’t feel like sleeping on the floor,” Kouyou says, sitting up as well.

Kyoka stares at her for a moment, then shakes her head.

Kouyou’s phone buzzes, so she turns away from Kyoka to see what it is.

“Oh! Miya’s going back to work today.”

“Miya is still working for you? Wait, what happened to her?”

Kouyou pats Kyoka’s head. “Two of her clients got into a fight. She’s fine. We banned them both.”

“Good. I like Miya.”

“I didn’t know you knew her.”

“I met her once when she came to see you in your office one time. She gave me a juice box.”
Kyoka squints at Kouyou. “Why is Yosano your wallpaper?”

Kouyou stares for a moment, then taps Kyoka’s nose. “None of your business, little lady.”

Yosano returns then with a bundle of clothing that she drops on the bed. “All right. You two get
yourselves dressed and I’ll get breakfast started, then you and I can head to the office. Sounds
good?”

Kouyou and Kyoka both nod.

When they’re all three dressed and fed, Kouyou dawdles at the door. She doesn’t want to leave,
because she won’t be coming back tonight. She’ll go to work and tonight, she’ll go back to her own
apartment.

“Kyoka!” Tanizaki’s little sister says. “You’re back!”

Kyoka smiles. “Good morning, Naomi.”

“You go ahead,” Yosano tells Kyoka. “I’ll catch up.”

Kyoka nods before leaving and walking off with Tanizaki and Naomi.

“I — I’ll be off, then,” Yosano says.

“Take care,” Kouyou replies.

Yosano nods and turns to leave. Before she gets more than a step away, Kouyou grabs her wrist.
Yosano turns back and tilts her head.

“No goodbye kiss?” Kouyou asks.

“Needy princess,” Yosano teases, but she kisses Kouyou anyway.

Kouyou savours the taste of Yosano’s lips, unsure when or if she’ll ever get the chance again.

And then, finally, she leaves.

 Chapter 5
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

Yosano’s day consists of paperwork and watching Kenji show Kyoka the photos she refuses to
look at herself. It keeps her occupied and stops her from wondering what Kouyou is up to.

When the day ends and they all leave the office, Kyoka pauses outside Yosano’s door and stares at
it for a moment before looking at Yosano.

“Is it weird that I still want to go back to my own dorm?”

Yosano shakes her head. “Not at all. But if you ever want to stay, I’ve got room for you.”

Kyoka smiles. “Thank you.”

She smiles and watches Kyoka leave before turning her key and pushing her door open. Part of her
waits to hear a soft “Welcome home” but nothing greets her.

Yosano’s dorm is empty and silent.

She closes the door and leans against it for a moment before sighing and toeing her shoes off. She
puts water on to boil for tea and while she waits, she opens her wardrobe to look for something
comfortable to wear.

Kouyou’s kimonos are gone, but all the things she bought on the numerous shopping trips they
went on with Kyoka are still there. She kept buying things for Yosano, then stealing them the
moment she got home from work. Yosano half expected some of Kouyou’s favourites to be gone as
well.

She grabs her pajamas and closes the wardrobe quickly. In the time it takes her to change, the water
boils.

It’s only when she sits on her couch with a teacup that she notices the second cup she’s placed on
the table. She never made tea for herself before Kouyou. She doesn’t think she even liked tea
before Kouyou.

Yosano drinks her tea and decides she ought to sleep. She stands at the foot of the bed and stares at
it. The bed seems too large to sleep in alone.

She takes her futon out of the closet and sleeps beside the table.

It takes two nights for Yosano to sleep in the bed. She does it because she comes back to the dorm
tired and flops down on the bed, only to be met with the smell of Kouyou’s perfume. She doesn’t
get off the bed that night and falls asleep on top of the covers, holding Kouyou’s pillow.

On the fourth night, there is a knock at the door. She doesn’t check before opening the door and is
somewhat surprised to find Kyoka standing there.

“Hey, kid. Is everything okay?”

Kyoka fiddles with her sleeves, looking down at the floor. “I . . . I had a nightmare. A bad one.”
“Oh, honey, come here.”

Kyoka doesn’t hesitate to step into Yosano’s arms, wrapping her own around Yosano as tightly as
she can, relaxing only after a few seconds of Yosano holding her and gently running her fingers
through her hair.

“Do you want to sleep here tonight?”

Kyoka nods.

“Of course. I’ll be done in a second, I just want to finish my tea, okay?”

Kyoka nods again.

“Do you want some tea?”

“No, thank you.”

“All right. Get to bed, then.”

By the time Yosano finishes her tea, Kyoka is tucked under the covers and already asleep. She’s
putting her cup down in the sink when she hears her door open.

“Kouyou.”

Kouyou freezes with one shoe still on. “I’m sorry. I — I forgot.”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Yosano says, quickly crossing the dorm to grab Kouyou’s sleeve when she moves
to put her shoe back on. “Where are you going?”

“To my apartment. I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry.”

“Stay,” Yosano says.

“Yosano, I can’t —”

“Akiko.”

Kouyou stares at her for a long moment. “Akiko.”

“Yes?”

“I’ve missed you.”

“So stay. Please.”

Kouyou takes her other shoe off.

Yosano smiles. “Hurry up and get changed before Kyoka sprawls out like a starfish and we both
have to sleep on the couch.”

“Kyoka’s here?”

“Mhm. She had a nightmare.”

“Oh, poor thing.”

Yosano slips under the covers while Kouyou trades her attire for one of her favourites of Yosano’s
and Yosano can’t help how delighted she feels to see Kouyou in her things again.

Kouyou joins her, careful not to shift Kyoka too much. When she pulls the covers up, Kyoka
mumbles sleepily and reaches out for Kouyou’s hand before settling again.

“Cute,” Yosano says.

“We should get rid of that crib and buy a single bed for Kyoka,” Kouyou whispers after a moment.

“You’re not going to invite us to your home?” Yosano teases, not bothering to ask if Kouyou really
plans to stay indefinitely.

Kouyou looks at her over Kyoka’s head. “That apartment? It’s ghastly how empty that place feels.
I like coming home from work to this dorm.”

Home.

“Well,” Yosano whispers, “here or there doesn’t matter much to me, so long as I get to come home
to you at the end of the day.”

Kunikida told her that home could be a person or a place. Yosano thinks that hers is a person,
because with Kouyou back, the dorm feels like home again.

Kouyou grunts after a moment. “Seriously. I’m going to buy Kyoka her own bed.”

“It’s just tonight, princess. She had a nightmare.”

“I’m sorry, darling. I adore Kyoka, but she’s in my way. This was easier when she was the size of a
watermelon.”

“Are you . . . Kouyou, are you jealous of a child?”

Kouyou scowls at Yosano. “Yes.”

“Jesus,” Kyoka mutters, her eyes still closed. “You’re making me want to deal with my nightmares
alone in my dorm.”

“Okay, go, then.”

“She’s kidding,” Yosano says when Kyoka shifts.

“I’m not going,” Kyoka says, opening her eyes to glare lightly at Kouyou. “I was here first.”

“You two are adorable,” Yosano says when Kouyou just glares back. “But I’m going to need you
both to go to sleep or I will put you, Kyoka, in the crib and you, Kouyou, on the couch.”

Kouyou and Kyoka both shut their eyes.

Cute, Yosano thinks to herself, closing her eyes as well.

And for the first time in four nights, Yosano drifts off to sleep without a problem.

Fukuzawa looks up when the door to his office is thrown open to admit one furious Mori Ougai.

“Yes?”
Mori marches up to the desk and holds his hand out like a spoiled child demanding candy.

Fukuzawa raises his eyebrows.

“The files on Vee. Hand them over. The Port Mafia will handle capturing that child.”

“I cannot allow that. She is a scared child with no malicious intent who needs guidance with her
ability, and I will not allow the Port Mafia to sink their teeth into her.”

Mori rolls his eyes. “I will have her delivered here. You have my word. Your detectives are just
being grossly incompetent about catching her and I refuse to allow more of my people to be stolen
by your detectives. We will see to it that the child is found and brought in.”

Fukuzawa raises his eyebrows. “What makes you think you won’t face the same problems we
have?”

“My people are skilled in many areas. I trust they can handle a glorified kidnapping. We are
simply better than you when it comes to abduction.”

“I wouldn’t sound so proud of that if I were you.”

“I’m Port Mafia. I’ll be proud of whatever the hell I want to be. The files, please.”

Fukuzawa nods. “Ranpo will have them ready for you on your way out.”

Mori huffs. “You better thank the very ground I walk on when I bring that troublesome child to
you.”

“Mm, sure. However, I’d like a gift basket sent to my detectives as a token of an apology for
calling them incompetent when you don’t successfully capture Vee.”

“Ha! Keep dreaming, old man.”

Fukuzawa watches Mori leave, banging the door on his way out.

Two days later, Kunikida knocks on his door.

“Yes?”

“Forgive me for interrupting, president, but we received a gift basket of various chocolates and
sweets that Ranpo is itching to break into, but it’s signed from the Port Mafia.”

Fukuzawa stares for a long moment before nodding. “It is safe to enjoy. Send me something from
it, will you?”

“Of course, president. Excuse me.”

Naomi pops in a few minutes later to give him a set of teas.

Fifteen minutes after the arrival of the gift basket, Fukuzawa’s telephone rings.

“Hello?”

There is silence on the other end for a while.

“Admitting defeat, are you?”

 There is a muffled curse before Mori speaks. “I refuse to ask Kouyou, so will you please ask
Yosano if she still has any diapers from little Kyoka’s . . . mishap?”

Fukuzawa laughs. “Whatever could you need those for?”

“Nevermind, you stingy old man.”

Mori slams his telephone down so hard that Fukuzawa hears quite the clatter before the line cuts.

He takes a moment to compose himself before heading to the detective’s office.

“Ranpo ate all the lemon drops,” Dazai says immediately.

“I am not here for the gift basket. Yosano?”

“Yes, president?”

“Would you be so kind as to ask Kouyou to deliver any spare diapers to Mori’s offices? He seems
to be having some trouble.”

Atsushi slaps his desk. “I knew it! Bets on whether Higuchi got hit or one of the men with her?”

“One of the guys,” Tanizaki says. “Higuchi is careful.”

“Higuchi,” Dazai says. “Vee startled Chuuya. Higuchi doesn’t stand a chance.”

“It’s neither,” Kunikida says when everyone’s phone buzzes within quick succession of one
another.

Fukuzawa looks over when Ranpo shows him his phone. “That old man has always been too sure
of himself.”

Staring up from the group chat is a photo of none other than Hirotsu, looking roughly two or three
years old, with a caption from Higuchi.

Help.

“I’ll get those diapers sent,” Yosano says, standing quickly.

Atsushi stands too. “I’ll take them over. Higuchi lives one floor down from us.”

“Ha!” Dazai says. “Serves him right for laughing at me!”

Fukuzawa is just glad that none of his detectives are in danger this time.

Chapter End Notes

Guess who’s about to get baby matchmaker trapped next hehe

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