Identifying Signs of Stress in Your Preschooler and How to Help

What is stress for children?

Whereas work-related stress is common among adults, most children

experience stress when they cannot cope with threatening, difficult

or painful situations. These include: Negative thoughts or feelings

about themselves. Changes in their bodies like the beginning of puberty.

Adults are not the only ones who feel stress. Little ones ages 2 to 5 also

are susceptible to emotional strain, but don’t yet have the ability to

verbalize or even know what they are feeling. You can help by knowing

how to identify signs of stress in your preschooler, what causes it, and

how you can comfort them.

Signs of Stress

Young children can show stress in a way that’s different from adults. The

following behaviors can be cues that your child is feeling emotional

strain:

 Fear of being alone

 Excessive or unusual clinging

 Hitting or scratching themselves when upset

  Crying more often than usual

 Regressing to wetting or soiling

 Regressing to sucking their thumb

 Change in eating patterns

 Nightmares or odd sleep interruptions

 Running into walls and furniture

 Reluctance to meet new people or excessive shy behavior 

Causes of Stress

Feelings of stress in children are often rooted in changes or new

environments. Below are some situations that often induce stress for

preschoolers:

 New baby brother or sister

 Moving

 Parents fighting

 New teacher or babysitter

 Separation from people who care for them

 Changes in their normal routine

  Losing a favorite security item (such as a blanket, stuffed animal or
pacifier)

 Exposure to sudden, unfamiliar or loud noises

Helping Your Child Deal with Stress

If you notice signs of stress in your little one, don’t let it stress you out,

too! There are several ways to help comfort your child and alleviate the

anxiety she’s feeling:

1.  Routine is key. As much as possible, try to observe a rhythmic routine

each day. Your child gains comfort and security from anticipating the

sequence and familiar rhythms of her day.

2.  Snuggle up. Try to make time for cuddling before the day begins, at

night before bedtime and during the day. Physical affection and

closeness can help your child feel connected and reassured. Regular

loving touch is especially important for young children.

3.  Speak softly. If you notice your child is showing signs of stress, try

speaking to him in a very soft, calm tone. This can help to soothe his

nervous system. Communicate that you notice he seems scared or

nervous and reassure him you are there to help.

4.  Talk about feelings. Take every opportunity to talk about various

emotions and point out how everyone has feelings. Read books about

feelings with your child, such as “I Was So Mad” by Mercer Mayer and

“The Way I Feel” by Janan Cain. Make it a regular routine to reflect on

emotions and set an example by expressing your own feelings. For

instance, say aloud to your child, “I am feeling nervous about going to

my new job today. I am going to just take some deep breaths and

remember that even though I feel nervous I will feel better once I get

used to the new place.” This will help your little one recognize her own

feelings and feel comfortable sharing them with you.

5.  Play Therapy. If your child’s stress symptoms persist and are

interfering with his ability to sleep, eat, socialize or learn, consider

seeking out a therapist trained in play therapy. Play therapists are able

to help children work through what is bothering them and reduce their

stress.

8 Warning Signs That Your Child Is Under Too Much Stress

Whether it's family, friends, school, or something else causing your child

distress, if he exhibits any of these signs of anxiety, it may be time to

take action.

As children get older and take on new responsibilities, more activities,

and larger homework loads, they are more susceptible to stress. Take a

look at these eight telltale signs that your child may be dealing with

stress.

1. Nightmares: Sleep-related fear is a common

response to stressful or traumatic experiences. Telling

your child stories about other kids with feelings just like

theirs can help them feel better. It lets them know that

you understand their feelings.

2. Trouble concentrating and completing

schoolwork: Academic and social pressures,

especially the need to fit in, are major causes of stress

for kids. While extracurricular activities can be a useful

outlet, over-scheduling adds to anxiety. Help your child

balance his priorities appropriately.

3. Increased aggression: Some children, when under

stress, react with physical aggression (biting, kicking,

 or hitting) or verbal aggression (screaming or name

calling). They also tend to have difficulty completing

tasks that require patience. If talking with your child

doesn't help (try books to help spark a meaningful

conversation), consult an expert such as a doctor or

therapist.

4. Bedwetting: Children that are feeling insecure or have

a lot on their minds may miss toileting cues. Reassure

your child that you are not angry when he has an

accident. See his doctor to rule out a medical condition

that could cause bedwetting.

5. Hyperactive behavior: When children can't handle

the stress that they feel, they release negative energy.

Having temper tantrums, running away, or constantly

being disobedient are ways to alert adults that there is

a problem. Help your child burn off energy in a

positive, calming way: deep breathing exercises,

listening to soothing music, stretching, or yoga.

6. Withdrawing from family and

friends: Moving, divorce, a new sibling, or bullying at

 school can cause a child to feel left out or scared.

Offer plenty of positive attention and maintain familiar

routines to provide comfort. Speak to your child's

teacher if you suspect she is having trouble with

friends at school.

7. Eating or sleeping disorders: When a child is under

pressure, restlessness and worry interrupts sleeping

habits. A sudden change in eating habits, whether

eating less or more, is another sign of stress. Getting

to the root of his anxiety (often with help from a child

psychologist or counselor) can alleviate these

behaviors.

8. Overreactions to minor problems: Sometimes, the

pressure to please parents causes children to

be perfectionists and worry constantly. Build your

child's confidence so he can meet challenges and

solve problems on his own.

 What is stress for preschoolers?

 What can cause stress for preschoolers?

 Signs of stress?
  How can we help stressful preschoolers?

 How can preschoolers manage stress?

Causes of Stress for Children in Child Care

A large variety of situations can cause children to feel stress in child

care.  Child care providers should keep an eye out for these situations

so that they can identify stress in children and help them cope with the

stress as quickly as possible.  The following are examples of stressful

situations children in child care may experience:

 changes in routines

 a new child care setting

 conflict with peers or bullying

 lack of sleep

 overcrowded child care settings

 a new sibling

 loss of a loved one  

 conflict at home

 deployment of family member

 Basic Ways of Coping with Stress

Both children and adults need to learn how to manage stress effectively.

Here are some ways to cope with stress in the child care setting.

 get enough sleep, and be sure children are sleeping regularly

 eat healthy meals and build in physical activity each day

 find quiet time to relax each day

 make an effort to accept what you cannot change

 take one thing at a time, and encourage children to do the same

 talk with friends about your stress

 give children safe, appropriate ways to release their own stress

Stress-Relieving Activities for Children in Child Care

Young children do not automatically know how to handle their stress.

Child care providers can teach appropriate stress management by

suggesting some of the following activities.

 Paper ripping – Let children have a “ripping good time” with old

newspapers or magazines. They can crumple paper into balls and throw

the balls all over. The balls are soft and safe. End the activity by

throwing the balls into a basket or box for clean-up time.

 Finger painting – Cover your table with an old shower curtain, plastic

table cloth, or newspaper. Give children a large piece of paper and some

finger paint. Child care providers should join in the fun. Use fingers,

hands, and even elbows for painting a picture.

 Active play – Make sure children have active play every day–even child

caregivers should participate. Running, climbing activities and playing

ball are good ways to be active and to relieve stress.

 Laughter – Take time to be silly and laugh together with your children.

Sing silly songs, read funny poems or stories, or just “goof around” with

each other.