Activity 2 – Session 1

Email 1

DATE: April 2, 2009

TO: Ted Mitchell ≤tmitchel@chemko.com≥
FROM: Diana Smith ≤aharper@chemko.com≥
SUBJECT: Violence Conference

Roger,

I went to the OfficePro conference on May 2.The topic was how to prevent workplace
violence, I found it very fascinating. Although we have been fortunate to avoid serious
incidents at our Company, its better to be safe than sorry. Since I was the representative
from our company, I thought you would like me to report about some suggestions for
preventing workplace violence. Robert Mather was the presenter, and he made suggestions
in three categories, which I will summarize here.

Mr. Mather cautioned organizations to prescreen job applicants. As a matter of fact, wise
companies do not offer employment until after a candidate’s background has been checked.
Just a mention of the background check is enough to make some candidates withdraw.
These candidates, of course, are the ones with something to hide.

A second suggestion was that companies should prepare a good employee handbook that
outlines what employees should do when they suspect potential workplace violence. This
handbook should include a way for informers to be anonymous.

A third recommendation had to do with recognizing a red-flag behavior. This involves having
company train managers to recognize signs of potential workplace violence. What are some
of the red flags? One sign is an increasing number of arguments (most of them petty) with
coworkers. Another sign is extreme fascination with firearms is another sign.

Btw, the next OfficePro conference is in September, and the topic is the new OSHA
standards.

I think that the best recommendation is prescreening job candidates. This is because it is
most feasible. If you want me to do more research on prescreening techniques, do not
hesitate to let me know. Let me know by May 7, if you want me to make a report at our
management meeting, which is scheduled for June.

Diana

1. List atleast five weaknesses in the preceding information email

There are short forms included, there is too much word, she sent the email to the wrong
person, grammer,

2. Outline a general writing plan for this email

 i. Subject line: report for workplace violence conference.
ii. Opening: introduction, why are we writing, description of topic.

iii. Body: 3 suggestions, how they would help.

iv. Closing: conclusion (reiterate point and topic, ask for opinions)

_____________________________________________________________________

Email 2

The following email message requests a response from its staff members. But it is so
poorly written that they may not know what to do.

Your Task:
Analyze the message. List its weaknesses and outline an appropriate writing plan. If
your instructor directs, revise it.

DATE: Current
TO: All Employees
FROM: Rachel Mendoza, Human Resources
SUBJECT: New Holiday Plan

In the past we’ve offered all employees 11 holidays (starting with New Year’s Day in
January and proceeding thorough Christmas Day the following December). Other
companies offer similar holiday schedules.

In addition, we’ve given all employees one floating holiday. As you know, we’ve
determined that day by a companywide vote. As a result, all employees had the same
day off. Now, however, management is considering a new plan that we feel would be
better. This new plan involves a floating holiday that each individual employee may
decide for herself or himself. We’ve given it considerable thought and decided that such
a plan could definitely work. We would allow each employee to choose a day that he or
she wants. Of course, we would have to issue certain restrictions. Selections would
have to be subject to our staffing needs within individual departments. For example, if
everyone wanted the same day, we could not allow everyone to take it. In that case, we
would allow the employee with the most seniority to have the day off.

Before we institute this plan, though, we wanted to see what employees thought about
this. Is it better to continue our current companywide uniform floating holiday? Or should
we try an individual floating holiday? Please let us know what you think as soon as
possible.

1. List at least five faults in this message.

Answer: point of email was not written out, whole paragraph clumped into 1,
intro was not written with aim, grammer,
2. Outline a general writing plan for this message.

Subject line:

Opening:

Body:

Closing: