PPC 2023 Conference Ebook

Practical Tips and Insights
That Will Transform Your

Parenting TODAY!
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All Rights Reserved
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Table of Contents
section Positive Parenting Starts Here 2
1
Self-Compassion - Dr. Carla Naumburg 4
Hands Free - Rachel Macy Stafford 6
Grace-Based Parenting - Nicole Schwarz 8
Introverted Mom - Jamie C. Martin 10
Power Of Showing Up - Dr. Tina Payne Bryson 12
section Connection and Communication 14
2
Making Sense of Preschoolers - Dr. Deborah MacNamara 16
Puberty Guide - Cath Hakanson 18
Tween & Teen Communication - Michelle Icard 20
Untigering - Iris Chen 22
Peaceful Parenting - Dr. Laura Markham 24
section Brain Development
3
26
Brain Stages - Patricia Wilkinson 28
Reducing Negative Thinking - Dr. Tamar Chansky 30
Anxiety Audit - Lynn Lyons 32
Parenting a Child with ADHD - Penny Williams 34
Understanding Behaviors - Dr. Mona Delahooke 36
section Encourage Autonomy, Boost Confidence 38
4
Inner Drive in Kids - Ned Johnson 40
Montessori Toddler - Simone Davies 42
Get Kids Outside - Linda Akeson McGurk 44
Adulting Tools - Julie Lythcott-Haims 46
Playful Parenting - Dr. Lawrence Cohen 48

Conclusion 50
Appendix A: Build Your Own Action Plan For Each Masterclass! 51
Appendix B: Printable Challenge List 54
Appendix C: Printable List of Books in This Year’s Conference 56

Key Takeaways from Positive Parenting Conference 2023. © AFineParent.Com

Welcome to the
Positive Parenting Conference!
Parenting is not easy. It just may be the hardest job most of us have ever had!
And that’s why we host this Conference: to bring you the best expertise, research and
real-life experience from the authors of popular parenting books. These experts have
years (if not decades) worth of experience working with parents and many are parents
themselves!
We cover topics from emotional regulation (for us and our kids) to handling stress and
anxiety, from communication and discipline to screen time and social skills.
These are the four main topic areas that we will focus on in our masterclasses:
Positive Encourage
Connection and Brain
Parenting Starts Autonomy, Boost
Communication Development
Here Confidence
Each Masterclass is about an hour long and covers a core idea from a popular book in
parenting or personal development. To make them easy to consume, we've divided
each masterclass into several short, easy-to-watch, pause, rewind, and take-along
segments. It's in-depth, well-planned, well-organized parenting advice that fits your
busy schedule. Our expert guides will talk to you about things that you want to know
now and in the future as your kids grow!
This eBook is your Little Book of Wisdom. We have collected our favorite takeaways
from each expert, plus there are pages in the Appendix for you to write down your own
ideas. This will let you benefit from your “aha” moments and realizations long after the
conference is over; and so, even though parenting is not easy, we hope to make it go a
lot more smoothly for you!
Because as we say around here:

Great parents are made, not born!

01
1
S E C T I O N
Positive Parenting
Starts Here
Masterclasses in Track 1:
Positive Parenting Starts Here
Dr. Carla Naumburg Rachel Macy Stafford Nicole Schwarz Jamie C. Martin Dr. Tina Payne Bryson
Self-Compassion Hands Free Grace-Based Introverted Mom Power Of Showing Up
Masterclass Masterclass Parenting Masterclass Masterclass Masterclass
HERE ARE SOME OF THE TOPICS THESE MASTERCLASSES COVER:
How the way we treat ourselves influences the way our children act,
The importance of being present in the moment with our kids,
How to let go of social influence to let our true selves flourish,
Developing our children's emotional intelligence with self-awareness,
What to do when we feel overwhelmed by the stress of parenting,
And more!
Want EARLY and ONGOING access to all 20 masterclasses? How about 78 ADDITIONAL
masterclasses from ALL the past conferences too, along with live Q&A calls with
experts EVERY MONTH, a private Facebook community, bonuses and more?
Become an AFineParent
Academy Member TODAY!
NOTE: AFineParent Academy doors close again on May 23rd, 2023

03
Self-Compassion
Masterclass
with
Dr. Carla Naumburg
OUR TOP 3 FAVORITE TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS MASTERCLASS
1 We can’t always avoid the bad things in life, but we can change how we react.
Buddhist tradition talks about the arrows of life; sometimes, we get hit with a “first arrow”
that we cannot avoid: bad weather, illness, or playground injuries. But we can avoid
“second arrows” (with practice!) because we are in control of how we respond to bad
things. Telling ourselves how terrible we are as parents or telling stories to our friends that
focus only on these bad things does nothing but make things worse. Instead, we can
choose to treat ourselves gently and with compassion and acknowledge the bad without
blaming ourselves for it.
2 Parenting is hard for everyone.

We all have a tendency to isolate ourselves when it comes to the more difficult parts of
parenting; many of us falsely believe that we’re the only ones struggling, especially when
we act in ways that we feel ashamed about later. We tell ourselves that other parents
don’t yell, they don’t hit, they don’t use threats or coercion. This view is reinforced by
social media where people only post happy vacation photos, perfect art projects and
spotless homes, and also by the fact that many of us are literally physically isolated from
other parents during day-to-day life. But the truth is that parenting is hard for all of us,
and we all sometimes act in ways that do not make us proud of ourselves.
3 Self-compassion is good for our kids, too.

When our kids hear us talking on the phone about how mad we are at ourselves for not
preventing life’s bad events, they notice. When they see us distracting ourselves from our
misery with movies or food or alcohol, they notice. This affects how they learn to speak to
themselves and the coping habits they adopt. If we practice being kind to ourselves, our
kids will learn that it’s okay to acknowledge the bad times in life without getting mired in
doubt and guilt. Self-compassion is a form of self-care and it benefits the whole family.

04
It’s Challenge Time!
DR. CARLA HAS A CHALLENGE FOR US:
Practice kind self-talk today! Select a mantra, a phrase, poem, song, or anything else that
you can say to yourself when times feel hard. Write it on a sticky note and put it
somewhere you’ll see it every day. Pick a time of day when you can practice repeating it
to yourself at least once, but maybe twice (or five times, or more). This might be while
you’re in the shower, waiting to pick up your kids, or having your morning coffee. Be
consistent about it! When you notice that you’re struggling with parenting or having
difficulty in any facet of life, try to remember to repeat those words to yourself again.
About Our Expert Guide

Carla Naumburg, PhD, is a writer, speaker, and clinical
social worker. She is the author of numerous
parenting books, including the newly released You are
Not a Sh*tty Parent and the popular How to Stop
Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids (Workman, 2019). She
has also authored Ready, Set, Breathe: Practicing
Mindfulness with Your Children (New Harbinger, 2015),
and Parenting in the Present Moment: How to Stay
Focused on What Really Matters (Parallax, 2014). She
earned her PhD in Clinical Social Work and earned a
certificate in Mindfulness and Psychotherapy.
Dr. Naumburg has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Huffington
Post, CNN, and Mindful Magazine, among other places. She lives outside of Boston with her
husband and two daughters.
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05
Hands Free
Masterclass
with
Rachel Macy Stafford
1 Enjoy life’s sunset moments.

Most of us live a constantly distracted life. We’re always thinking about our to-do lists,
that conversation we had with our boss, or the pending assignments our kids have for
school next week. But if we can let go of those constant distractions, even for a few
minutes or a few hours, we invite the opportunity to witness life’s beautiful, ordinary
moments. This might be the smile on our child’s face when they see a pretty flower, a
rainbow in the sky, or any of countless everyday things that we’re usually too busy to give
our attention.
2 Short periods of time spent with our kids can add up to nothing, or they can add up to
something incredible.
It’s easy for us to disregard the time we spend driving our kids to school or cooking dinner;
many of us tend to look inward during these times, leaving our kids to their own devices.
But that 15-minute drive every day adds up to a huge chunk of time over the course of the
school year! If we spend that time focusing on our kids rather than our own thoughts, it
can make a huge difference in our relationships with them.
3 Strive to live your most authentic life.

Sometimes we can make decisions based on other people’s expectations. We want to
project ourselves to the world in a certain way, so we say yes to parties, volunteering, or
countless other obligations that take us away from our families; these decisions portray
us as the people we think we want to be. Part of being Hands Free is figuring out who we
are at our core and working to align our lives with that inner authenticity. This might
mean cutting back on social gatherings, reducing the amount of extracurriculars to which
we obligate our kids, even changing the way we compose ourselves. Our kids will see
when our lives align with our authentic selves; they will notice and benefit from it as well.

06
RACHEL HAS A CHALLENGE FOR US:
Incorporate some Hands-Free time into your day (at least 10 minutes) where you choose
to be fully present in the moment. This could be first thing in the morning, during dinner,
during bedtime, or even while commuting. Leave your phone and computer in another
room. Don’t think about your to-do list, don’t worry about being productive. Just be there
for yourself and your family. Talk with your children and look into their eyes. Clear your
mind, embrace the present moment and enjoy it.

Rachel Macy Stafford is a certified special education
teacher who helps people overcome distraction and
perfection to live better and love more. Rachel’s work
has been featured on CNN, Good Morning America,
Global News, TIME.com, FoxNews.com, as well as in
hundreds of other online and print publications. Her
blog currently averages one million visitors a month.
She is the New York Times bestselling author of four
books: Hands Free Mama, as well as Hands Free Life,
the book Only Love Today and Live Love Now.
Rachel loves taking long walks, baking, and volunteering with homeless cats and nursing
home residents. Rachel lives in the South with her husband and two daughters who inspire
her daily.

07
Grace-Based Parenting
Masterclass
with
Nicole Schwarz
1 Grace-based parenting means being gentle with ourselves.

It’s easy to read parenting books, listen to parenting experts, or scroll social media and
then believe that we’re parenting completely wrong. But the truth is that no one is perfect;
it’s important to accept our imperfections as limitations many parents have in common
with us. It's important to realize that we are living right now, we're doing our best to make
informed decisions and be good parents. We are making our best effort to show up for
our children. We may not do everything right, but we're also not doing it all wrong.
2 Emotional intelligence means being able to identify our emotions and also the emotions
of our children.
Without strong emotional intelligence, we may not recognize when we’re feeling angry; we
might unknowingly allow our emotions to influence our interactions with our children.
When we model awareness of our own emotions, it helps our children develop and
strengthen their own emotional intelligence. Discussing our emotions (and the emotions
our children experience) helps teach them how to recognize the feelings within themselves
and others.
3 There are two types of connection: proactive and in-the-moment.

Proactive connection is when we give our kids our focused attention. This could be during
meals, at bedtime or with one-on-one time. In-the-moment connection is when we choose
to pause before reacting, discussing, or giving consequences and instead use empathy to
foster connection. Acknowledging our child’s feelings and being present with them
(physically and mentally) during a time of potential disconnect helps show our children
that our relationship with them and closeness is more important than immediate
discipline. In-the-moment connection does not have to be a prolonged event; it can be as
quick as a hug and some comforting words.

08
NICOLE HAS A CHALLENGE FOR US:
Look for opportunities for quick connection! Think of these as brief snippets of proactive
connection with our kids. We may not realize there are many opportunities to include
these moments throughout each day. Write a note in their school lunch, or enjoy a game
at the park, a kiss on the head or a little piece of candy while they’re doing homework.
Mini connections don’t need to be complicated, and they shouldn’t take long, but our kids
love having these moments of knowing they’re the center of our world. Strive to have at
least one or two every day.

Nicole Schwarz is a Licensed Marriage and Family
Therapist and Parent Coach. She spent 10 years
working with children and families in hospitals, homes,
community organizations, and a private therapy
practice. The majority of Nicole’s therapy work
focused on helping grade school children manage
anxiety, anger, perfectionism, and low self-esteem.
She is the owner of Imperfect Families, LLC, coaching
parents to use positive, respectful parenting
strategies.
Her parenting philosophy is influenced by the work of others who encourage the use of
positive/gentle/respectful parenting strategies. Nicole now lives in Missouri with her
husband and three daughters.
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09
Introverted Mom
Masterclass
with
Jamie C. Martin
1 Kids are always changing and evolving.

We don’t have to love every moment of parenting to love parenting or to be a good
parent. During tough moments, try to think about what we are going to miss in a year, five
years, or ten years. Acknowledge and honor the changing seasons with our kids. They
won’t always be in diapers; they won’t always have huge tantrums. When it feels
exceptionally hard, embrace the emotion, take a deep breath, and try to remember
something that you really love about parenting. Bringing joy and tenderness to a difficult
time can allow us to be present with our kids in the moment, regardless of the challenge.
2 Introvertedness is a strength.
When we acknowledge and honor our introvertedness as a strength, it can benefit the
entire family. Introverts have the ability to slow down the busy pace of life; this creates
space for calm and connection. When we are in tune with our own needs, this helps to set
a calmer pace for our family that helps them tune in as well.
3 Develop a mobile calm basket.

Find a basket and fill it with some of your favorite restorative things. Jamie suggests a
cozy blanket, essential oils, a candle and matches, a book you are excited to read,
restorative spray, or anything else that will help give you a calming and rejuvenating
moment. The basket is moveable so you can take it to a quiet space where you can have
some alone time while you relax. Sometimes we just need fifteen minutes to recharge; the
mobile calm basket makes a quick break simple and effective!

10
JAMIE HAS A CHALLENGE FOR US:
Spend 10-15 minutes today doing something for yourself that is really nourishing for self-
care. Here are six possible options: (1) take a personality test, (2) for people of faith, write
a love note from you to God or from God to you, (3) write a list of all the things you have
done for your family today, (4) pull out family photos from three or more years ago and
spend time looking at them, (5) go through your essential to-do list and estimate how long
each task will take, then add 15 minutes of margin to each time, or (6) create a calm
basket.

Jamie C. Martin is an introverted mother of three who
loves books, tea, and people (not always in that order),
and avoids answering the phone when possible.
Jamie is the bestselling author of four books, including
Give Your Child the World (which reached #9 on Amazon's
Top 100 Best Sellers list) and her latest release,
Introverted Mom (an ECPA bestseller) as well as Mindset
for Moms and Steady Days. She co-founded the popular
website SimpleHomeschool.net in 2010 and founded her
membership site, IntrovertedMoms.com, in 2020.
Her work has been featured by LeVar Burton of Reading Rainbow, the Washington Post,
Parents, Today Parenting, and Psychology Today.
Please click here for the Free Introverted Mom Self-Care list that Jamie mentioned in the
masterclass.

11
Power Of Showing Up
Masterclass
with
Dr. Tina Payne Bryson
1 The most important thing we can do for our children is to show up.
We need to physically show up, put down our phones and be in the moment with our
children every day. Every time we do this, we are helping our children feel safe, seen, and
soothed, which leads to children feeling secure. We ensure our children feel safe by not
being the source of their fear. We help them feel seen by truly listening. We soothe them
by joining with them in their times of pain and dysregulation and helping them learn how
to return to a place of calm. A secure child’s brain develops in positive ways.
2 We should not cause our children to feel unsafe.

Parents can inadvertently create fear in their children by yelling, shaming, or through
traditional discipline. When we do cause fear by yelling, the parent needs to put forth the
effort to make the repair. Through that repair, children gain resilience. It is important to
apologize when we make mistakes and to take responsibility for our actions. This will not
make children think less of us; it will make them think more of us and we will be modeling
real problem-solving skills and relationship repair.
3 History is not destiny!

Regardless of how we were parented and the attachment models that we had as
children, we can do the work to rewire our brains and provide secure attachment for our
children. It is never too late to start; we can positively impact our children, starting today.
Take time to think about our own history and the attachment models that we grew up
with and where they came from. We can then start to process why our parents acted in
the ways they did and how we want to do things differently. We can create for our
children what we wish had been there for us, and rewire our own brains in the process!

12
DR. TINA HAS A CHALLENGE FOR US:
Parenting is hard work! We need to make sure that we are taking care of ourselves so we
can show up for our kids. Schedule one hour with someone who makes you feel safe, seen,
and soothed. This could be a friend, your partner, your parent, or someone else. This time
should feel good and help you connect with another grown up! If you feel like you don’t
have someone right now who can do this with you - this is an opportunity for you to think
about cultivating those relationships. Make a date to have coffee with someone you think
might be a potential friend.

Dr. Tina Payne Bryson is the author of The Bottom Line
for Baby (Random House, 2020) and co-author (with Dan
Siegel) of The Power of Showing Up (Ballantine Books.
2020) and The Yes Brain (Bantam Books, 2018), as well as
two New York Times bestsellers -The Whole-Brain Child
(Bantam Books, 2012). and No-Drama Discipline (Bantam
Books, 2014), each of which has been translated into over
forty languages. She is the Founder and Executive
Director of The Center for Connection. a multidisciplinary
clinical practice, and of The Play Strong Institute in
Pasadena, CA. She is the Child Development Specialist at
Saint Mark's School in Altadena, CA, and the Director of
Child Development for Camp Chippewa.
Dr. Bryson is a pediatric and adolescent psychotherapist who makes frequent media
appearances, keynotes conferences, provides consultations and conducts workshops all
over the world. Tina earned her PhD from the University of Southern California. You can
learn more about Dr. Bryson at TinaBryson.com.
WEBSITE FACEBOOK INSTAGRAM TWITTER

13
2
S E C T I O N
Connection and
Communication
Connection and Communication
Dr. Deborah MacNamara Cath Hakanson Michelle Icard Iris Chen Dr. Laura Markham
Making Sense of Puberty Guide Tween & Teen Untigering Peaceful Parenting
Preschoolers Masterclass Communication Masterclass Masterclass
Masterclass Masterclass

Why play is the gateway to our children's emotional growth,
How to open dialogue with our kids about puberty and sex,
The importance of parenting with connection and empathy,
How to more effectively communicate with our teens and tweens,
Understand that our children's behavior is a form of communication,
And more!

15
Making Sense of Preschoolers
Masterclass
with
Dr. Deborah MacNamara
1 Be a gardener, not a sculptor.

Humans are born with certain wiring; our job as caregivers is to provide the conditions in
which our children can grow and thrive. We are not trying to shape them into a certain
type of being. We are there to help them learn how to develop over time and allow their
personalities to emerge. When we provide the proper conditions for rest and for play that
allow for growth, they will mature when they are ready. We can’t rush maturation; in time
our children will bloom!
2 Develop a relationship with frustration.

While it can be very uncomfortable for our preschoolers (and for their caretakers),
frustration is an ever-present part of development. Frustration means something needs to
change or something needs to stop for that child. It’s a communication system. Frustration
is the emotion of change; it’s important because we need it to change. When we hold calm
and firm boundaries, and we provide the space for our child’s tears, it allows for
transformation. Tears are the way that our emotional system resets. Frustrations will
happen every day, and when we support our kids through their frustration by holding
space for their tears, we support their transformation.
3 Let them play!

Play is the very best way for children to learn and to work through emotions. When we
give our children the space to play, they will work through challenging or scary situations,
and they will learn. Play is the hidden force when it comes to expression. We don't have
the capacity to be on top of all of our kids’ emotions and work through every single
situation with them, but we can provide the space for play. Kids are also naturally
designed to play, and they are wired to learn this way.

16
DR. DEBORAH HAS A CHALLENGE FOR US:
Find six opportunities to collect your kid(s) today. Collecting your kids is a way to connect
with them and help to build your relationship. You might make eye contact, go for a smile,
sing a little song, sit down and play with them, or notice something they are doing. Four of
these collections need to be just for the sake of connecting. Two of them you can use to
collect before you give them some direction.

Dr. Deborah MacNamara is a clinical counselor and
educator with more than twenty-five years of experience
working with children, youth, and adults. She is on Faculty
at the Neufeld Institute, and she is the Director of Kid’s
Best Bet, a counseling center for families. She is the
author of the best-selling book Rest, Play, Grow: Making
Sense of Preschoolers as well as the children’s book The
Sorry Plane. Deborah travels nationally and
internationally, speaking to groups including the United
Nations and the Dalai Lama Center for Peace and
Education.
Deborah completed a two-year post-doctoral internship with Dr. Gordon Neufeld and
works with leading institutions such as the University of British Columbia, Kwantlen
Polytechnic University, the Canadian Mental Health Association, and the Vancouver School
Board. Deborah regularly appears on radio and TV; her articles appear in parenting
magazines, websites, and newsletters across Canada and internationally.
Deborah resides in Vancouver, Canada, with her husband and two children.
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17
Puberty Guide
Masterclass
with
Cath Hakanson
1 Puberty starts at different ages for different kids.

There’s a common misconception that puberty starts around age 13 or 14, but the reality
is that there is a wide range of normal. Often times, breasts may start developing in
elementary school, and that may come before or after a first period. In some parts of
the world, it’s normal for kids as young as 8 to get their period! Other kids tend to start a
few years later, but early signs of puberty in all kids may start to show as early as 9.
2 It’s never too early to start talking about puberty, and also never too late.
Many of us grew up in households where we barely talked about our bodies or the
normal, natural ways we change as we get older. As a result, we may feel uncomfortable
talking about puberty and have no idea how or when to broach the topic. The truth is
that the earlier we start talking about it, the better; kids will manage the transition better
when they have a thorough understanding of their bodies. But if you’ve put it off, it’s not
too late to start having these conversations now, either!
3 Puberty isn’t a “one and done” conversation.

Talk about changing bodies should be an ongoing conversation so that it becomes
something our kids feel completely comfortable talking to us about. There’s a lot to
cover and so much of it happens at different times, so it’s important to keep coming
back to these topics again and again. When we’re the one providing the information, we
can ensure that what they’re learning is accurate, rather than online rumors or
potentially frightening stories from classmates and friends. We can use books and online
articles as conversation starters, or tell stories from our own lives, or even offer
reminders relevant to everyday activities like showers or school.

18
CATH HAS A CHALLENGE FOR US:
Pick up one or more books on puberty for your child today! Books are an excellent way to
get started talking about puberty if you have no idea where to begin. Books are written
with age-appropriate language and will often include anatomically correct pictures to
help kids understand what to expect of their bodies as they get older. For older kids,
books provide a resource they can look at on their own schedule and which they can
revisit as much as they need when they have questions. Libraries contain many options, or
you can easily find puberty books online or in brick-and-mortar bookstores.

Cath Hakanson is a nurse, midwife, sex therapist,
researcher, blogger and educator that has been
educating the public on sex for over 25 years. She has
spent the past 10 years trying to unravel why parents
(herself included) struggle with sex education. Her
solution was to create Sex Ed Rescue, an online resource
that simplifies sex education and helps parents to
empower their children with the right information about
sex–so kids can talk to their parents about anything, no
matter what.
She has written more than five books on the topics of puberty and sex education, including
The Sex Education Answer Book, both Girl Puberty and Boy Puberty as well as The Parent’s
Guide to Puberty and The Parent’s Guide to Explaining Sex.
Cath has lived all over Australia but currently lives in Perth with her partner and two
children.
BOOK WEBSITE FACEBOOK

19
Tween & Teen Communication
Masterclass
with
Michelle Icard
1 Teenagers are not as good at reading facial expressions as adults.

As adults, we use the prefrontal cortex of our brains to analyze faces and get a sense of
what that person might be thinking or feeling. Younger kids and teens tend to use the
amygdala to interpret facial expressions, which statistically leads them to misinterpret
about half the time. Children are much quicker to think we’re angry or upset, which then
affects how they interact with us. Consequently, it’s important to be as neutral as
possible when talking with our kids and teens. Try adopting a “Botox brow,” keeping our
face as smooth and wrinkle-free as possible or talking in the car or while engaged in
other tasks, so they focus more on our words than on our face.
2 It’s okay to let someone else handle some of the “big” topics.
Parents face a lot of pressure to handle everything right; this could include discussing
important topics like sex, finances or big life decisions. But it’s not essential that we
handle them all! It’s okay to let their aunt, uncle, or grandparent be the one to initiate a
conversation on some subjects, or even a close friend. Kids might be more receptive to
hearing certain information from people who aren’t their parent, or we might simply be
out of our element with some of these subjects. It’s okay to designate a proxy to step in
and help out.
3 You can use the BRIEF model of communication to have these conversations more
effectively.
Begin peacefully, because if our kids feel like they’re being attacked they’re much less
likely to open up. Then Relate to them to keep them from feeling suspicious about our
motives. Then Interview to collect data, but be sure to focus on broader, more global
questions, not personal ones. Echo what we hear back to them in order to make sure
we're understanding their intended meaning. And finally provide Feedback, but only as
much as we think they can handle and phrased in a way that doesn’t feel
confrontational.

20
MICHELLE HAS A CHALLENGE FOR US:
Get a hobby! One of the hardest parts of having a tween or a teen is that they’re starting
to pull away from us and test out their sense of independence. This is normal and natural,
but it’s very challenging for us as parents to cope with sometimes. When we’re spending
less time with them, we might not know what else to do with ourselves. That’s why this is
an ideal time to start rediscovering yourself. Doing so not only takes some pressure off
our kid because we're not constantly in their business, but we're setting a good example
for them by doing something only for ourself.

Michelle Icard is a speaker, author, and educator who
helps kids, parents, and teachers navigate the
complicated social world of early adolescence.
Her latest book, Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteen, guides
readers through the fourteen essential conversations
parents need to have with their kids before they start
high school. Her first book, Middle School Makeover:
Improving the Way You and Your Child Experience the
Middle School Years, is a primer for the social and
emotional changes parents and kids navigate when
midlife meets middle school under one roof.
Michelle is a CNN parenting writer and a member of the TODAY Show parenting team. Her
work has been featured in The Washington Post, The Chicago Tribune, CNN, Time, and
People Magazine. Her middle school leadership programs, Athena’s Path & Hero’s Pursuit,
have been implemented at schools across the country and she speaks around the globe at
schools and parenting events.

21
Untigering
Masterclass
with
Iris Chen
1 Healing Ourselves First:

The path to un-tigering and parenting through partnership and connection is to heal our
own childhood wounds first. We need to connect with our inner child and hold space for
them. When we feel big emotions and responses to our children, we can pay attention to
where our feelings are coming from. This will connect us to the times as a child that we
didn’t feel safe to experience our feelings or to make mistakes, and we can re-parent
ourselves in those moments. We all need to heal from our own childhoods and the ways
we were parented (even if we think our parents were great). Taking care of ourselves and
healing our wounds will help us show up for our children. We can increase our ability to
feel secure and loved, which will make us more available for our kids.
2 Advocate for Our Kids:

Advocating for our kids in moments when those around us might not understand our
parenting choices is empowering to our children; it can also help heal ourselves. For
example, if we help to set boundaries about physical touch for our kids, we teach our
children that they have autonomy over their own bodies, and we also show others that we
honor these boundaries. If our own parents want a good night kiss from their grandkids
and our kids don't want to, we can support them by saying “They are tired and aren’t up
for that right now,” or we can offer choices like “Do you want to give a high five or blow a
kiss?” We honor our children’s choice and support their autonomy while also respectfully
communicating to our parents about respecting boundaries.
3
See All Behavior as Communication:
Children use their behavior as a way to ask for their needs to be met; they may not be
able to articulate what they need directly. When we recognize their behavior as
communication rather than something that is bad or troubling, we can respond with
compassion and curiosity. This mindset shift allows us to show up, regulated, to support
our kids. Choose to be a detective and go beneath the surface to see what our child needs.
We can ask questions, or we can empathize with sportscasting, “You are having a really
hard time,” or “You were really sad when your sister took that toy away.” We show
empathy and open up the possibility for problem solving when they are ready.

22
IRIS HAS A CHALLENGE FOR US:
Offer ourselves grace and compassion today when we make a mistake or don’t parent
the way we want to. We can see our own behavior as an attempt to get a need met. Ask
yourself “What need was I trying to meet in that moment?” Then offer your inner child
some compassion. You might need some deep breaths or to step away for a moment.
Take the time to help connect with your inner child.

Iris Chen is an author, unschooling mom,
deconstructing tiger parent, and founder of the
Untigering movement. As an advocate for peaceful
parenting and educational freedom for children, her
mission is to inspire generational and cultural
transformation, especially among Asian communities.
She spent 16 years living overseas in China (land of the

tiger parent!), but now resides in her native California
with her husband and two sons.
She is the author of the book Untigering which is a journey of her transition from
authoritarian parenting to peaceful parenting.
BOOK WEBSITE FACEBOOK INSTAGRAM

23
Peaceful Parenting
Masterclass
with
Dr. Laura Markham
1
As parents, regulating our own emotions is essential.
When we are able to take a pause and take time to understand what may be getting in
the way of our self-regulation, then we can build the foundation for providing our
children with emotional generosity. Our “triggers” often stem from old perspectives that
may have served us well at one point in our lives, but that no longer serve us well when
parenting our own children. Understanding the roots of these perceptions can help to
free ourselves of old limitations and then more calmly engage with our children.
2
Children need connection to gain emotional intelligence and to feel safe in the world
around them.
This is particularly important after periods of time in which we are not with our children
or during times that we are distracted. Our children need us to reconnect with them after
periods of absence. They also need us to preemptively fill their emotional banks so they
don’t break down emotionally; special time is a simple way of accomplishing this. And,
when our children feel connected to us, they are more motivated to cooperate.
3
While it’s easy to want to control our children so as to “make” them do the right thing,
it is impossible to control another human, adult or child.
Coaching a child through the various stages of development will provide the tools for
them to want to make good choices and to be their best selves. Persistence in children is
often dependent on them knowing that they have someone in their corner listening and
connecting with them.

24
DR. LAURA HAS A CHALLENGE FOR US:
Take time today and notice if you tend to jump in and do things for your children. Instead
of giving your children time to put his own shoes on, do you jump in and do it for him? Do
you give your child many verbal warnings of “be careful” as they are learning to walk?
Think about the patterns of “doing” for them and then make the conscious decision to
empower them by watching, encouraging, and coaching.

Dr. Laura Markham is the author of Peaceful Parent,
Happy Kids: How To Stop Yelling and Start Connecting;
Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings: How To Stop the
Fighting and Raise Friends for Life. and now her latest
book. The Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids Workbook: Using
Mindfulness and Connection to Raise Resilient, Joyful
Children and Rediscover Your Love of Parenting.
Dr. Laura Markham earned her PhD in clinical psychology

at Columbia University and has worked as a parenting
coach with countless families across the world.
Over 150,000 people enjoy Dr. Laura's free weekly coaching posts via email. You can sign
up on any page of her website, AhaParenting.com, which serves up Aha! Moments for
parents of babies through teens. Dr. Laura's aspiration is to change the world, one child at
a time, by supporting parents. A proud mother of two thriving young adults who were
raised with her peaceful parenting approach, she lives with her husband in New York.

25
3
S E C T I O N
Brain Development
Brain Development
Patricia Wilkinson Dr. Tamar Chansky Lynn Lyons Penny Williams Dr. Mona Delahooke
Brain Stages Reducing Negative Anxiety Audit Parenting a Child with Understanding
Masterclass Thinking Masterclass Masterclass ADHD Masterclass Behaviors Masterclass
How to prime and prepare our child's brain for optimal learning,
Recognizing negative thoughts & how to help our child with empathy,
Strategies to get out of the anxiety cycle for us and our children,
Understanding ADHD & how to connect and accommodate our child,
Regulating ourselves to improve our child's emotional intelligence,
And more!

27
Brain Stages
Masterclass
with
Patricia Wilkinson
1 Start the day out right:

Start the day by having your kids drink a glass of water and get some exercise! It’s
important to help your child wake up their brain so it is ready to learn by the time they
go to school. Drinking a whole glass of water hydrates their brain so it will be primed for
learning. Doing ten minutes of exercise (for example, put on some music and dance or
jump rope) will get your child’s neural pathways firing so the brain is ready for learning.
2 Connect with your child everyday:

The number one thing you can do to support your child is to have two-way
conversations with them. This means real conversations with no distractions where we
are listening to what our children have to say and asking engaging questions. We can
also notice the expressions on their face, acknowledge what they are feeling, and tell
them what we see: “You appear sad” or “You seem happy today!” Let them take it from
there. They will feel seen, and they will feel safe, which primes a brain for real learning.
3 Rethink humor with kids 11 and under:

Until kids are 11 (in general), they can’t understand sarcasm and joking in the ways that
grown up brains can; they don't have the neural pathways to understand abstract
thinking. Their brains have a hard time understanding what is actually true and what
isn’t. They are still very literal. Consider dropping the sarcasm until they are old enough
to appreciate that humor. Know that our jokes affect them more than we may realize.
Knock knock and other silly jokes are always a hit with the 11 and under crowd!

28
PATRICIA HAS A CHALLENGE FOR US:
Make your child feel seen today! Watch your child and take notice of the look on their
face: happy, sad, confused, silly, etc. Name that emotion, then listen and see what they
say. “Wow, you look really thoughtful today.” Be quiet, listen, and let them open up.

Patricia Wilkinson taught grades kindergarten through
sixth for 23 years in both public and private schools. She’s
also a mother of two who facilitates life-changing
workshops for parents and teachers. It’s amazing what
can happen when years of creativity and practical
experience merge with thousands of hours of brain
research!
She earned a BA in recreation from California State

University, Long Beach, and did graduate work at
California State Universities, Los Angeles and Chico, to
earn a Clear Multiple-Subject Teaching Credential and
Language Development Specialist certificate from the
State of California.
Patricia lives in Bend, Oregon, with her awesome husband Chuck and their rambunctious
golden retriever, Alice. Visit her at thebrainstages.com.
BOOK WEBSITE

29
Reducing Negative Thinking
Masterclass
with
Dr. Tamar Chansky
1 Kids fall into negative thinking patterns for many different reasons.
Some kids simply have a tendency to pick out the negative in any situation; they see
only what’s missing, not what they have. Others may be too focused on perfection and
anything less than can bring panic or despair. Sometimes it only takes one little thing to
go wrong for kids to fall off the deep end with thoughts that everyone is better than
they are, or luckier, or happier.
2 Depression and anxiety are becoming more and more common in children.
Prior to the pandemic, statistics showed approximately 8% of kids were diagnosed with
depression and 11% with anxiety. But after 2020, some children and teens struggled with
school closures, quarantining at home, and reduced social interaction with friends.
Roughly 200,000 kids lost a parent or caregiver to Covid. Current statistics are showing
closer to 25% of kids diagnosed with depression and 20% with anxiety. This is definitely a
growing problem and we will likely continue to see the aftereffects for years to come.
3 Empathy is the first step towards helping your child break negative thought patterns.
Oftentimes if we hear our child despairing over school or sports or friends, our instinct is
to rush in and fix it somehow, either by offering suggestions or by getting directly
involved. Instead, showing our child that we are hearing them and that we understand
their feelings can open the door to deeper conversations about what may be going on.
This doesn’t necessarily mean blanket agreement with whatever they’re saying, but
identifying and understanding their feelings helps our child feel connected to us, and
then we’ll be able to follow up with more questions.

30
DR. TAMAR HAS A CHALLENGE FOR US:
Listen to your own language! Remember that we are our children’s teachers in many
things, and the words and tone of voice we use when speaking to them and even to
ourselves strongly influences the way they talk to themselves. If we have a tendency to
speak in absolutes—everybody, nobody, everything, always—our kids will pick up on that.
Instead, if you catch yourself using absolutes, pause and use your “some shaker” to
reframe your thoughts. Instead of “This house is always a mess,” try “Some parts of this
house are very messy right now.”

Dr. Tamar Chansky is a psychologist and author who is
passionate about helping kids, parents and other adults
pursue the lives that they want to lead, free from the
obstacles of anxiety, pessimism and OCD. Dr. Chansky is
frequently interviewed in newspapers, magazines and
radio on these topics. She is also a blogger on Huffington
Post and Psychology Today.
Dr. Chansky is the Founder and Director of The Children's

and Adult Center for OCD and Anxiety in Plymouth
Meeting, PA.
Dr. Chansky is the Founder and Director of The Children's and Adult Center for OCD and
Anxiety in Plymouth Meeting, PA. She also developed the educational website
www.worrywisekids.org. Her written works include Freeing Yourself from Anxiety as well as
Freeing Your Child from Negative Thinking, Freeing Your Child from Anxiety, and Freeing
Your Child from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.

31
Anxiety Audit
Masterclass
with
Lynn Lyons
1 Content vs. process.

Everyone engages in patterns of anxiety. Most important is that we start to recognize
the process of what is happening, and that the actual content doesn’t matter. When you
start to feel anxious, notice how your worry shows up. What does it say to you? How do
you respond to it? You will begin to be able to notice “Oh, I’m doing that worry thing
again!” That is when you know that you need to unhook from your anxiety and that the
actual worry doesn’t really matter. One way to separate the worry from you is to name
and personify it. What slogan would be on the t-shirt of your worry? When it shows up,
change how you respond to it.
2 Unhook from your patterns of anxiety.

Once we recognize our patterns, we will be able to unhook yourself (get out of our head)
and break free of these negative patterns. Here are some strategies to try: have a
conversation with someone, go for a walk, get involved in something, ask questions, or
immerse yourself in an activity that will need your focus. Or try the ABC game! This can
help break the cycle or help us fall asleep. Pick a category and go through the alphabet
naming one thing for each letter. You could do dog breeds, cities, fruits, or things we are
grateful for. This gives our brain something to chew on so we can't get absorbed into the
content of what we are thinking about. Remember to also give ourselves some grace
and compassion; we are learning new skills that will help empower us!
3 Keep safety simple!

A great way to keep our kids safe and empower them to be risk takers is to keep our
safety ideas clear and simple. Lock the door, put on your seatbelt, wear a helmet. You
don't need to say "And let me tell you why,” because we don’t want to scare them. We
can keep them safe without telling them all the bad outcomes or teaching them fear. We
want kids who will explore and take risks because that is how kids learn. And if we
learned fear from our parents, either because the danger was real or not, if our life
circumstances are mostly safe, we can filter out the generational fear and pass on
messages of safety without fear to our kids. What a gift!

32
LYNN HAS A CHALLENGE FOR US:
Change the narrative of your life! For the next week, whenever you run into someone and
they ask you how you are, you are not allowed to talk about how busy and stressed you
are. You have to answer by sharing something wonderful from your life. It might be a
beautiful sunset, a delicious meal, or a fun experience with your kids. You can bring more
joy into your day and into the days of others as well.

Lynn Lyons is a psychotherapist and author who has
been in private practice for over 30 years. She
specializes in the treatment of anxiety disorders in
adults and children. Her latest book, The Anxiety Audit,
looks at the 7 sneaky ways that anxiety and worry
weave their way into families, friendships, and jobs, and
provides actionable steps to reverse the cycle and
reclaim one’s emotional well-being.
With a special interest in breaking the generational cycle of worry in families, Lynn also co-
authored two books on anxiety: Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents: 7 Ways to Stop the Worry
Cycle and Raise Courageous & Independent Children, and the companion book for kids,
Playing with Anxiety: Casey’s Guide for Teens and Kids. Using Hypnosis with Children: Creating
and Delivering Effective Interventions is Lynn’s how-to guide for helping professionals looking
to incorporate hypnotic strategies for the treatment of depression, anxiety, medical
procedures, pain, and sleep.
She received her BA in English from Williams College, her Masters in Social Work from Boston
University and has been training extensively with the world’s experts in clinical hypnosis and
strategic therapy for more than 20 years. She is also a member of the National Association
of Social Workers (NASW) and the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis (ASCH).

33
Parenting a Child with ADHD
Masterclass
with
Penny Williams
1 Getting a child evaluated for ADHD or learning disabilities is about more than labels; it’s
about understanding and being able to get them the help they need to thrive.
Many people have misconceptions about ADHD based on media portrayal or stories
they’ve heard from friends and family. Some of us might be afraid that getting a child
evaluated is opening a door to unnecessary medication and stigmatization. But ADHD is
a genuine neuro difference; when we understand how our child thinks or functions
differently from ourselves, we can help them. That could include simple mindset shifts,
sensory changes, or medication, therapy, and/or school accommodations.
2 ADHD medications are designed to stimulate parts of a person’s brain in order to

improve overall executive function.
Many people believe that children with ADHD are given medications to calm them down
or even get them to a zombie-like state, but that’s not the objective. ADHD means the
brain isn’t getting stimulated from normal things the way a neurotypical brain does,
which can lead to kids adopting self-stimulating behaviors in order to improve their
focus. ADHD then provides that stimulation for them. Medication could lead to better
performance in school and less impulsivity overall. There are many types and
combinations of medications; an experienced doctor can help figure out the right one.
3 School accommodations in the form of a 504 Plan or Individualized Education Plan are
often essential for success.
Once a child has been diagnosed with ADHD, autism, a learning disorder, or any other
type of neurodivergent difference, it’s important for parents to work with their school to
develop a plan to help the child learn effectively. This plan will outline accommodations
for the child’s teachers to utilize, such as more time for taking tests, being able to type
instead of writing, being able to do classwork while standing, the use of fidget devices,
or more.

34
PENNY HAS A CHALLENGE FOR US:
End the day on a positive note by telling your child, “I love the way you [blank] today.”
This is a great way to find a little more connection at bedtime. And it doesn’t have to be
big things. “I love the way you put your dishes in the sink without being asked today.” “I
love the way you shared your cookie with your sister today.” “I love the way you drew that
picture of the cat today.” The goal isn’t to focus on character traits or things that might
feel out of the child’s control, but instead to look at one or more positive things that
happened that day, no matter how big or small.

A parenting coach for neurodiverse families, Penny
Williams is the award-winning author of four books on
ADHD, including Boy Without Instructions. She is also
the host of the Beautifully Complex Podcast, co-host of
the annual Neurodiversity Summits, and co-founder of
The Behavior Revolution, an initiative devoted to
celebrating and supporting kids with ADHD or autism
through neuroscience-backed insights, hard-won
strategies, compassion, and guidance. Penny empowers
parents to help their neuro-atypical kids — and families
— thrive.
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35
Understanding Behaviors
Masterclass
with
Dr. Mona Delahooke
1
We can become better emotional coaches for our children.
When we understand that our children’s social-emotional development is not linear and
not all behaviors are the same, we become a better mentor to our children. Some
behaviors are “top-down": they are controlled by the conscious, thinking brain. These
behaviors are willful, conscious and intentional. But other behaviors are “bottom-up” and
are controlled by the subconscious, instinctual part of the brain. These behaviors result
from the brain feeling unsafe or overloaded and are not willful or intentional.
2
We can better understand where our child's behavior is coming from if we consider
what is going on in the child’s nervous system and brain.
If a child’s nervous system is on the “green pathway” then the brain is not sensing any
danger; the brain is open to making social connections and is ready to learn and
perform. However, if the child’s nervous system strays to the “red pathway,” the brain is
becoming stressed, sensing danger, and falling into “fight or flight” mode. By tuning into
our child’s emotions and triggers, we can begin to decipher if our child is on the green,
red or blue pathway and if a behavior is top down or bottom up.
3
Both adults and children can demonstrate top-down or bottom-up behaviors
depending on how their brain reacts to a given experience.
For parents teaching their children how to regulate these emotional ups and downs, co-
regulation is key. We as adults need to be able to use self-compassion, breathing, and
other relaxation techniques to bring ourselves back onto the green pathway. Then we
become our child’s best teacher, both by demonstrating these methods and also by
remaining calm and supportive even when faced with our child’s most challenging
behaviors.

36
DR. MONA HAS A CHALLENGE FOR US:
Throughout the day, set aside 2 or 3 moments where you can stop and take a self-
compassion breath. These can be moments that are challenging, moments where you feel
love and gratitude or moments that you want to remember with a timer! Put your hand on
your heart, take a deep breath in and out, and have a moment of compassion and
gratitude for the amazing person that you are.

Mona Delahooke, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist
with more than 30 years of experience caring for children
and their families. She is a senior faculty member of the
Profectum Foundation. an organization dedicated to
supporting families of neurodiverse children, adolescents
and adults. She is a trainer for the Los Angeles County
Department of Mental Health and is the author of Beyond
Behaviors: Using Brain Science and Compassion to
Understand and Solve Children's Behavioral Challenges.
Dr. Delahooke is a member of the American Psychological Association and holds the
highest level of endorsement in the field of infant and toddler mental health in California,
as a Reflective Practice Mentor (RPM). She is a frequent speaker. trainer, and consultant to
parents, organizations, schools, and public agencies. Dr. Delahooke has dedicated her
career to promoting compassionate, relationship-based neurodevelopmental interventions
for children with developmental, behavioral, emotional, and learning differences.

37
4S E C T I O N
Encourage Autonomy,
Boost Confidence
Encourage Autonomy, Boost Confidence
Ned Johnson Simone Davies Linda Akeson McGurk Julie Lythcott-Haims Dr. Larry Cohen
Inner Drive in Kids Montessori Toddler Get Kids Outside Adulting Tools Playful Parenting
Masterclass Masterclass Masterclass Masterclass Behaviors Masterclass
The importance of flow state for children's success and engagement,
Tips for creating a child-friendly living space that promotes calmness,
How outdoor play benefits a child's behavior and development,
Why communication skills are imperative for successful adulthood,
The importance of acknowledging a child's hurt, physical & emotional,
And more!

39
Inner Drive in Kids
Masterclass
with
Ned Johnson
1 The Flow State

Flow state is when someone is in the zone: focused, working hard, and deeply connected
to what they are doing. For many people this isn’t schoolwork! It might be a sport, music,
or building robots. A huge indicator of success for children is if they can find something
they love and they have the desire to pursue it; the practice of entering the flow state
will help train their brains to work hard and be committed to something. They are
engaged in the process, not the result. Let them do what they want to do! It gives
immediate feedback, time stops, and they may not even be aware of anything else. Let
kids be in the flow state as much as they can - this is really great for their brains!
2 Radical downtime
Many people are living lives that are fast paced, which is really hard for learning and the
developing brain. In order to recover, we need periods when we are not doing anything.
Radical downtime does not mean watching tv or playing video games. This means
disconnected from technology and lying in the backyard to look at the clouds. This
means leaving the house without your phone. It is a space to daydream, to get out into
nature. This real rest helps the brain integrate one’s experience and gives time to reflect
on what they have learned. Ultimately this also helps develop resilience. Sleep is an
important form of radical downtime. We all need to sleep more!
3 Brain exercise: Plan B Thinking

While physical exercise is important for your brain, doing actual brain exercises can help
build up brain power as well. Ned’s favorite is called Plan B Thinking. This means you
think through scenarios and how you would handle something if not everything goes
according to plan A. It might be not getting into your first-choice college, or what
happens if a dog jumps out of the bushes when you are on a run. In either case, by
coming up with a plan B, you are giving your brain the sense that you can handle these
situations if they arise. This helps to train your brain for resilience and strengthens
cognitive flexibility.

40
NED HAS A CHALLENGE FOR US:
The next time your child brings you a problem, resist the righting reflex. Logic doesn’t
calm hard emotions, feeling understood calms hard emotions. Use empathy and
validation. “Golly, you look so upset about that!” or “What a hard day!” We lower the
energy and our kids can start to solve their problems for themselves.

Ned Johnson is an author, speaker, and the founder of
PrepMatters, an educational company providing
academic tutoring, educational planning and
standardized test prep.
A veteran in the fields of test preparation, anxiety

management, and student performance, Ned coaches
kids on how to manage their stress while simultaneously
motivating and empowering them to reach their full
potential. A professional “tutor-geek” since 1993, Ned
has spent more than 40,000 one-on-one hours helping
students conquer an alphabet of standardized tests
and honing his insights on communicating with students
and parents.
Ned has written for the New York Times, The Telegraph, U.S. News & World Report & The
Washington Post and co-authored three books, including the national best-seller The Self-
Driven Child as well as What Do You Say and Conquering the SAT.
BOOK WEBSITE FACEBOOK PODCAST TWITTER

41
Montessori Toddler
Masterclass
with
Simone Davies
1 Look at your home environment through their eyes:

One easy shift to make in your home space that will help your child to thrive is to
consider your space through their eyes. Get down on the ground in your living room, for
example, and notice what looks appealing, what looks cluttered, what seems accessible,
and what seems inaccessible. You can make some small and inexpensive changes to
your space that will help empower your child and offer them order and calm. Keeping
out six key toys or activities that are displayed in a child-friendly way will keep them
engaged. Put the rest of the toys away in storage and rotate toys to keep your child
interested without overwhelming them.
2 Foster curiosity by seeking out an answer:

Rather than always giving the answer to your child’s hundreds of questions a day, help
them explore how to get the answer. When your child asks a math question, for example,
you could say “Let’s call up your grandfather who teaches math, I bet he’ll know.” Or if
your child has a question about music, look it up together in a book about musical
instruments from your bookshelf. In the long run, this will help your child continue to ask
lots of questions and learn to act on their curiosity rather than always turning to a
parent for the answer.
3 Use your house as a helpful resource for you and your child:
Your home should be a space that helps you to live and parent in the ways that you
want. If your child is always asking you for a glass of water, consider putting a little
table in the kitchen with a small pitcher and some glasses -- along with a cloth to clean
up spills. If your child always wants a snack, think about having a cabinet or shelf that
has kid-friendly snacks down low so they can help themselves to a small and healthy
snack when they need it. This teaches independence and is empowering to our children.
It is also helpful to us!

42
SIMONE HAS A CHALLENGE FOR US:
See the world through your toddler’s eyes today! This could be sitting on the floor in a
room and seeing what they see, or it could be trying to understand their perspective when
they grab a toy from another child and are having a hard time sharing. Either way, try to
make one small change to the environment to make it better for your toddler.

Simone Davies has worked in Montessori education for
over 15 years. Trained through the Association
Montessori Internationale (AMI), Simone runs parent-
child Montessori classes in Amsterdam and is a mother
of 2 children.
She is passionate about the Montessori approach and

has authored two books: The Montessori Toddler and
The Montessori Baby.
Simone’s goals are to show parents how to support their children while allowing children
their independence and to help parents contend with the struggles of raising children while
getting more peace back into their lives. Although Simone is from Australia, she has lived in
Amsterdam for the past decade with her children who are now teenagers. Simone enjoys
yoga, running, traveling and baking with her kids.
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43
Get Kids Outside
Masterclass
with
Linda Akeson McGurk
1 Develop a habit of going outside.

Start by taking a look at your schedule and find pockets of time that you can plan to go
outside. This might mean fewer extracurricular activities and saying no to other
obligations. It's worth it! If you are new to this, start with a small commitment and
schedule it in. If you build the expectation of outdoor play as part of your family, your
kids will learn it is part of their lives. The more time outside, the better. Playdates can be
fun outside as well! Having other families to connect with who value time outside can
also help you stay accountable and get outside more.
2 Rethink childhood.
Shift the focus of early childhood from “academic experiences,” to play experiences
outside. There is so much learning that comes from free play outside. Children learn
sensory development and integration by playing in the mud. They develop fine and
gross motor skills which helps to later be able to hold a pencil. Numerous studies have
shown that more time outside playing supports better behavior in the long run. Letting
children move helps their brain develop because kids learn better when in motion. Also,
there is so much joy!
3 Future caretakers of the earth!

A huge benefit of taking kids outside and letting them play in nature is that they develop
a relationship with the places where they play. They develop an emotional connection to
them. This is true about parks in cities or big open spaces in the country. Children who
are connected with natural spaces are more likely to care about the natural world and
take action to protect it.

44
LINDA HAS A CHALLENGE FOR US:
Eat outside today! Pack some sandwiches and head outdoors. Call some friends and make
a picnic and eat together as a group outside. If you like it, make a goal to do it once a
month or a plan that will work for you.

Linda Åkeson McGurk is a Swedish-American freelance
journalist, author and blogger. A nature lover and
mother of two daughters, she believes that the best
childhood memories are created outside while jumping
in puddles, digging in dirt, catching bugs, and climbing
trees. McGurk is a regular contributor to Outdoor
Families Magazine, and her writings about natural
parenting, outdoor play and green living have
appeared in a wide range of publications and online
outlets, including Time.com, Parents.com, Green Child
Magazine, Mother Nature Network, The Green Mama,
Childhood 101, Preschool Inspirations and the Children
and Nature Network.
In 2013, she started the blog Rain or Shine Mamma to inspire outdoor play and adventure
every day, regardless of the weather. She authored the book There’s No Such Thing as
Bad Weather which helps parents raise healthy, resilient and confident kids through the
fantastic exploration of the outdoors.

45
Adulting Tools
Masterclass
with
Julie Lythcott-Haims
1 Our sense of adulthood has shifted dramatically in recent decades.

Once upon a time, adulthood was marked by finishing school, finding employment,
moving out of your parents’ house, getting married, and having kids. But as our society
has grown and changed, the definition of adulthood has too. Some people don’t finish
school until sometime in their later 20s; some people go back and get a degree even
later. People hold many different jobs over their lifetimes. Some can’t afford to move
out due to economic circumstances; some choose to live with family indefinitely, or buy a
house with siblings or friends for financial reasons. Not everyone gets married or has
kids. And all of this is okay.
2 One of the keys to being a successful adult is strengthening your ability to communicate
and connect with others.
Humans are, by nature, a social species; we are meant to live in community. But too
many of us struggle with basic communication skills and we aren’t good at simply
talking to strangers or asking for help. That’s a skill nearly everyone could benefit from
if improved upon, including making eye contact, basic courtesy towards waitstaff or
store employees, or even being kinder to strangers on the internet.
3 Self-care may seem like a buzz word but it’s truly essential in adulthood.
This includes sleep, exercise, healthy food, medication if you need it, and other basics.
But self-care goes beyond physical necessities and bonuses like massages, wine or
bubble baths. Self-care also means learning to process your feelings and emotions so
that you don’t take them out on other people. Self-care could mean therapy. Self-care
means asking for help when you need it and accepting it. You don’t have to do
everything alone, and you don’t have to be a martyr.

46
LINDA HAS A CHALLENGE FOR US:
Ask yourself, what do I want? Being an adult means moving beyond constantly worrying
about what other people want and their opinions of you. Try spending some time thinking
about what you want out of life. Who are you? What are you good at? What do you enjoy
doing? What are your dreams? This isn’t meant to be self-centered, but more of an
acknowledgment of some truths about yourself, and letting those truths rise above
everything you’ve heard from your parents and your partner and society. And once you
start to find yourself amidst the noise, don’t judge the person you are at your core. Aim
instead for love and acceptance.

Julie Lythcott-Haims is the New York Times bestselling
author of How to Raise an Adult which gave rise to a
popular TED Talk. Her second book is the critically
acclaimed and award-winning prose poetry memoir
Real American, which illustrates her experience as a
Black and biracial person in white spaces. Her third
book, Your Turn: How to Be an Adult, has been called a
“groundbreakingly frank” guide to adulthood.
Julie holds degrees from Stanford, Harvard Law, and California College of the Arts. She
currently serves on the boards of Common Sense Media, Black Women’s Health
Imperative, Narrative Magazine, and on the Board of Trustees at California College of the
Arts. She serves on the advisory boards of LeanIn.Org, Parents magazine and Baldwin For
the Arts. Prior to this Julie was the Stanford University's Dean of Freshmen.
She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her partner of over thirty years, their itinerant
young adults, and her mother.
BOOK YOUTUBE FACEBOOK INSTAGRAM TWITTER

47
Playful Parenting
Masterclass
with
Dr. Larry Cohen
1
Kids learn and communicate through play; when we join in their play world, it is a
gateway for them to grow their connection with us.
Playing is also a way for children to freely express their emotions, worries, and desires
without having to put them into words. Whether it's nurturing play, aggressive play and
roughhousing, Shakespearean death scenes or pushing each other into pretend lava,
allowing your child to lead playtime with you will result in your child feeling loved while
also giving them a platform to open up to you as you connect with them.
2
We must fill our children's “emotional cup” through play that fits their needs.
All children, especially those in school most of the day, need to be "filled up" with love
often so that they feel secure, content, and as if they have some control over their own
life and aren't being told what to do all the time by teachers and parents. The best way
to fill this cup is to dedicate time to play with them, free of distractions, in the way that
the child needs to play. Every child is different; there is no recipe for this, but let the child
be the guide so that they feel in control. This lets the child feel powerful and, in turn,
loved.
3
It's important to address and recognize a child's hurt, both physical and emotional,
whether we as adults think the hurt is real or not.
When our children are emotional in a way that cannot be resolved by responding
playfully, then take time to acknowledge their feelings and name the emotions that they
are expressing ("You must be so angry..."). Let that emotion come to completion before
moving forward. If our children are not in an emotional breakdown situation, then we
should respond playfully. Example: when your child is annoyed and shouts "Get away
from me!" Try and respond playfully without being demeaning to the child: (Parent takes
one step back). "Is this far enough away for you?"

48
DR. LARRY HAS A CHALLENGE FOR US:
Do something outside your usual comfort level in terms of having fun with your child. If
you really push yourself to do what you'd normally say was outrageous, you'll discover
that this will strengthen and grow the connection between you. The more outrageous, the
better! Your outrageous demonstration could be anything: skip homework, eat peanut
butter for dinner so you can keep playing, or exaggerate your seriousness to elicit giggles
from your kids if you can't bring yourself to let loose completely.

Specializing in child's play and play therapy, Dr.
Lawrence J. Cohen is a licensed psychologist and the
author of the book Playful Parenting which has been
translated into 18 languages and is the winner of the
NAPPA Gold Award for parenting resources. In addition
to his private practice of psychotherapy and play
therapy, Dr. Cohen is a frequent speaker at schools and
community groups, and he has served on multiple
advisory boards.
Dr. Cohen is also the author of The Opposite of Worry and co-author of The Art of
Roughhousing. He wrote two more books about children's friendships and peer relationships
with Michael Thompson and Catherine O'Neill Grace: Best Friends, Worst Enemies, and Mom,
They're Teasing Me. Dr. Cohen's column in Nick Jr. Magazine was the winner of the 2003
Golden Lamp award from Education Press. His treatment innovations have included the first
groups in the country for husbands and boyfriends of sexual abuse survivors, as well as one
of the first therapy groups for male survivors of sexual abuse. All of his work with children,
parents, couples, abuse survivors, and families has guided him towards writing about human
connections.
WEBSITE FACEBOOK TWITTER

49
Conclusion
Thank you for being a part of the Positive Parenting Conference hosted by
AFineParent.com. We have been honored to have you along on this journey where
so many wonderful stories, techniques, methods, and points of view were shared
with us by our expert guides.
When you watch each masterclass video, we hope you feel motivated to be a more
positive, patient, caring, thoughtful, and dynamic parent. Every day, in different
situations, we hope you see yourself utilizing what you have learned from these
expert guides to influence the choices you make. We hope you respond more and
react less. We hope you acknowledge and leave behind the pressure to meet
arbitrary parenting expectations from society. We hope you let go of “shoulds”
and “ought tos” and confidently do what is right for your unique situation. We hope
you re-label your children's behavior and personalities using more positive
verbiage. We hope you recognize the importance of self-care and self-compassion
and get intentional about taking good care of yourself too!
We hope you feel comforted and inspired by all our expert guides to try these new
techniques in your own home with your families and see what a difference it can
make.
As we say around here, Great Parents Are Made, Not Born.
Go, and be awesome!

50
Appendix A
Build Your Own Action Plan

Masterclass:
Expert Guide For This Masterclass:
Inspiration Book:
1
What are we doing well and can do more of?
Did you hear some things that made you go, “Hey! We already do that!”?
Note them down here.
2
What do we need to start doing?
Did you hear some things that made you go, "I'd like to give that a shot!"?
Note them here.

51
Appendix A
Your Action Plan, Part 2

Masterclass:
Inspiration Book:
3
What do we need to stop doing?
Did you hear some things that made you go “Uh-oh!”?
4
Perspective Shifts
Did you hear some things that made you go, “Oh! Never thought of it that way.”?
Note them here.
Key Takeaways from Positive Parenting Conference 2023.© AFineParent.Com 52

Appendix A
Your Action Plan, Part 3

Masterclass:
Inspiration Book:
5
Additional thoughts based on this masterclass
Did you hear anything else that made you go, “I’d sure like to remember that!”?
6
Challenge
How will you apply the speaker’s challenge in your family?
Note it down here.

53
Appendix B
Printable Challenge List

POSITIVE PARENTING STARTS HERE
Dr. Carla Naumburg - Self-Compassion Masterclass

Challenge - Practice kind self-talk! Select a mantra, a phrase, poem, song, or anything else that
you can say to yourself when times feel hard. Write it on a sticky note and hang it up.
Rachel Macy Stafford - Hands Free Masterclass

Challenge - Incorporate some Hands-Free time into your day where you choose to be fully
present in the moment. Leave your phone in another room and focus entirely on your child.
Nicole Schwarz - Grace-Based Parenting Masterclass

Challenge - Look for opportunities for quick connection with your child! Write a note in their school
lunch or enjoy a game at the park. Strive to have at least one or two every day.
Jamie C. Martin - Introverted Mom Masterclass

Challenge - Spend 10-15 minutes today doing something for yourself that is really nourishing for
self-care. If you can, also make yourself a calm basket!
Dr. Tina Payne Bryson - Power Of Showing Up Masterclass

Challenge - We need to make sure that we are taking care of ourselves so we can show up for our
kids. Schedule one hour with someone who makes you feel safe, seen, and soothed.
CONNECTION AND COMMUNICATION
Dr. Deborah MacNamara - Making Sense of Preschoolers Masterclass

Challenge - Find six opportunities to collect your kid today. It's a way to connect with them and
help build your relationship. Make eye contact, smile, sing a song, or sit down and play with them.
Cath Hakanson - Puberty Guide Masterclass

Challenge - Pick up one or more books on puberty for your child today! Books are an excellent
way to get started talking about puberty if you have no idea where to begin.
Michelle Icard - Tween & Teen Communication Masterclass

Challenge - Find a hobby. Our teens will start to pull away from us to test out their independence.
When we’re spending less time with them, we might not know what else to do with ourselves.
Iris Chen - Untigering Masterclass

Challenge - Offer grace when we make a mistake or don’t parent the way we want to. We can see
our own behavior as an attempt to get a need met. Take the time to connect with your inner child.
Dr. Laura Markham - Peaceful Parenting Masterclass

Challenge - Notice if you jump in and do things for your children. Think about the patterns of
“doing” for them, then make the decision to empower them by watching and encouraging.

54
Appendix B
Printable Challenge List

BRAIN DEVELOPMENT
Patricia Wilkinson - Brain Stages Masterclass

Challenge - Make your child feel seen today. Watch your child and take notice of the look on their
face: happy, sad, confused, silly, etc. Name that emotion, then listen and see what they say.
Dr. Tamar Chansky - Reducing Negative Thinking Masterclass

Challenge - Listen to your own language. We are our children’s teachers and the words we use
when speaking to them and even to ourselves strongly influences the way they talk to themselves.
Lynn Lyons - Anxiety Audit Masterclass

Challenge - Change the narrative of your life! For the next week, whenever you run into someone
and they ask you how you are, you are not allowed to talk about how busy and stressed you are.
Penny Williams - Parenting a Child with ADHD Masterclass

Challenge - End the day on a positive note by telling your child, “I love the way you [blank] today.”
This is a great way to find a little more connection at bedtime.
Dr. Mona Delahooke - Understanding Behaviors Masterclass

Challenge - Throughout the day, set aside 2 or 3 moments where you can stop and take a self-
compassion breath. Have a moment of compassion for the amazing person that you are.
ENCOURAGE AUTONOMY, BOOST CONFIDENCE
Ned Johnson - Inner Drive in Kids Masterclass

Challenge - The next time your child brings you a problem, use empathy and validation. “Golly,
you look so upset about that!” Lower the energy and our kids can start to solve their problems.
Simone Davies - Montessori Toddler Masterclass

Challenge - See the world through your toddler’s eyes. Try to make one small change to the
environment to make it better for your toddler.
Linda Akeson McGurk - Get Kids Outside Masterclass

Challenge - Eat outside today. Pack some sandwiches and head outdoors. If you like it, make a
goal to do it once a month or a plan that will work for you.
Julie Lythcott-Haims - Adulting Tools Masterclass

Challenge - Try spending some time thinking about what you want out of life. Acknowledge some
truths about yourself, and then aim for love and acceptance.
Dr. Larry Cohen - Playful Parenting Masterclass

Challenge - Do something outside your usual comfort level in terms of having fun with your child.
If you really push yourself, you'll discover that this will strengthen the connection between you.

55
Appendix C
Printable Book List

Here are the books featured in the PPC 2023 Conference

56

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section Connection and Communication 14

section Brain Development

section Encourage Autonomy, Boost Confidence 38

Key Takeaways from Positive Parenting Conference 2023. © AFineParent.Com

Because as we say around here:

Key Takeaways from Positive Parenting Conference 2023. © AFineParent.Com

HERE ARE SOME OF THE TOPICS THESE MASTERCLASSES COVER:

The importance of being present in the moment with our kids,

How to let go of social influence to let our true selves flourish,

Developing our children's emotional intelligence with self-awareness,

What to do when we feel overwhelmed by the stress of parenting,

NOTE: AFineParent Academy doors close again on May 23rd, 2023

Key Takeaways from Positive Parenting Conference 2023. © AFineParent.Com

Dr. Carla Naumburg

OUR TOP 3 FAVORITE TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS MASTERCLASS

2 Parenting is hard for everyone.

3 Self-compassion is good for our kids, too.

Key Takeaways from Positive Parenting Conference 2023. © AFineParent.Com

About Our Expert Guide

BOOK WEBSITE FACEBOOK INSTAGRAM TWITTER

Key Takeaways from Positive Parenting Conference 2023. © AFineParent.Com

Rachel Macy Stafford

OUR TOP 3 FAVORITE TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS MASTERCLASS

1 Enjoy life’s sunset moments.

3 Strive to live your most authentic life.

Key Takeaways from Positive Parenting Conference 2023. © AFineParent.Com

About Our Expert Guide

BOOK WEBSITE FACEBOOK INSTAGRAM TWITTER

Key Takeaways from Positive Parenting Conference 2023. © AFineParent.Com

OUR TOP 3 FAVORITE TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS MASTERCLASS

1 Grace-based parenting means being gentle with ourselves.

3 There are two types of connection: proactive and in-the-moment.

Key Takeaways from Positive Parenting Conference 2023. © AFineParent.Com

About Our Expert Guide

BOOK FACEBOOK INSTAGRAM

Key Takeaways from Positive Parenting Conference 2023. © AFineParent.Com

OUR TOP 3 FAVORITE TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS MASTERCLASS

1 Kids are always changing and evolving.

3 Develop a mobile calm basket.

Key Takeaways from Positive Parenting Conference 2023. © AFineParent.Com

About Our Expert Guide

BOOK WEBSITE FACEBOOK INSTAGRAM TWITTER

Key Takeaways from Positive Parenting Conference 2023. © AFineParent.Com

Dr. Tina Payne Bryson

OUR TOP 3 FAVORITE TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS MASTERCLASS

2 We should not cause our children to feel unsafe.

3 History is not destiny!

Key Takeaways from Positive Parenting Conference 2023. © AFineParent.Com

About Our Expert Guide

WEBSITE FACEBOOK INSTAGRAM TWITTER

Key Takeaways from Positive Parenting Conference 2023. © AFineParent.Com

HERE ARE SOME OF THE TOPICS THESE MASTERCLASSES COVER:

The importance of parenting with connection and empathy,

How to more effectively communicate with our teens and tweens,

Understand that our children's behavior is a form of communication,