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  • Confessions of A Wife

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    Smangele Mdima
    285 views2,684 pages
    The narrator works as a cashier at a supermarket. During one shift, she has an unpleasant interaction with a rude customer who yells at her and accuses her of poor service. Later, she gets a ride home from work and spends time with her family, including her partner Moemedi who is waiting to receive money so they can get married. She receives a call from her mother asking for money but says she will have to wait until getting paid.

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    Original Title

    Allreadingworld.com Confessions of a Wife

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    The narrator works as a cashier at a supermarket. During one shift, she has an unpleasant interaction with a rude customer who yells at her and accuses her of poor service. Later, she gets a ride home from work and spends time with her family, including her partner Moemedi who is waiting to receive money so they can get married. She receives a call from her mother asking for money but says she will have to wait until getting paid.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Flag for inappropriate content
    Download as pdf or txt
    285 views2,684 pages

    Confessions of A Wife

    Uploaded by

    Smangele Mdima
    The narrator works as a cashier at a supermarket. During one shift, she has an unpleasant interaction with a rude customer who yells at her and accuses her of poor service. Later, she gets a ride home from work and spends time with her family, including her partner Moemedi who is waiting to receive money so they can get married. She receives a call from her mother asking for money but says she will have to wait until getting paid.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Flag for inappropriate content
    Download as pdf or txt
    of 2684

    Conf

    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe
    #1

    Intheev eni
    ng,atChoppiessupermar ket
    ,I
    scannedt hecustomer’
    sgr ocer
    ywi t
    habar code
    reader.Thecustomerlookedatt hetotalt
    hen
    frowned.
    “
    Eish,
    buset
    sahandyAndy,kenaleP250hel
    a.
    (
    TakebackthehandyAndy
    , Ionl
    yhaveP250.
    )”
    “Ehmma.(Yesmam.)Irai
    sedmyvoice.“Mari
    a,
    kekopav
    oidhoo!(
    MariacanIpl
    easehav et
    he
    voi
    d!)
    ”
    Minuteslat
    erMari
    awal kedov erandputont he
    passwordtocancelt
    hepr oduct.Thecust omer
    handedmet hemoney,Ipr ocessedi tand
    packedthecust
    omer ’
    sgr oceryaftergivi
    ngher
    therecei
    ptand5thebechanget hensmi l
    ed
    poli
    tel
    y.
    “
    Thanky
    ouf
    orshoppi
    ngwi
    thus.
    ”
    Thecustomert
    ooktheplast
    icbagsandwalked
    awaywhilet
    henextcustomeri
    nlineputher
    grocer
    yonthecount
    er.Iqui
    ckl
    yscannedthem.
    “
    Iam swi
    ping.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Ireachedforthemachineandpunchedt hetotal
    amountbef orehandi
    ngitovert
    ot hecustomer
    whoputi nherPIN.It
    ookbackt hemachi neand
    spokesoftl
    y .
    “
    Mam, yourcar
    disdecl
    i
    ning,
    woul
    dyoul
    i
    ket
    o
    t
    ryagai
    n?”
    “
    Yes,i
    tcan’
    tdecl
    i
    ne.Ihav
    eal
    otofmoneyi
    n
    t
    hatcar
    d.”
    Ire-
    punchedthemachineandgav ei
    ttot
    he
    customerwhoputthePIN.Igotthemachine
    andlookedatthecar
    ddecli
    ning.
    “
    It
    ’sdecl
    i
    ning,
    woul
    dyoul
    i
    ket
    opaycash?
    ”
    “Girl
    ,Isaidmycar dcan’ tdecline,t
    hatcar dhas
    alotofmoneyi nsi
    de.Doy ouknowwhoIam?
    Aftermaki ngmewai tforsol ongduet oy our
    poorcust omerser vices, youthinky oucant ell
    memycar disdecl i
    ning?Koor egot senaka
    backdoorgol etseni mot logong.(Get t
    ingher e
    throughthebackdoorhasgot tenintoy our
    heads.)Ley onecer tifi
    catey aBGCSEgaey o.
    (Youdon’ tevenhav et heBGCSEcer tif
    icate.)
    Youwon’ tgiv emeanat ti
    tudegi r
    l,youdon’ t
    knowme, l
    edi ri
    sadi machi net samachi negor e
    l
    et lelerebol elegorekar atay adeclina,nxla!
    (YouuseChi nesemachi nessoy oucant ellus
    thatthecar disdecl i
    ning.)Ket sonedi eyebr ow
    tsedisokameng, nxla,laret enakwa.( It’
    st he
    mi sshapedey ebr
    ows, youannoyus. )
    ”
    It
    ookadeepbreat
    hstaringatthecust
    omer
    whowasfuming.“
    Iapologi
    ze,barewit
    hus,
    maybei
    t’
    sthemachine.Youcanpaywi thcash.
    ”
    Thel
    adyt
    ookoutasomemoneynot
    esf
    rom her
    apurseandhandedthem tometoget
    herwi
    th
    coi
    nsandIquickl
    yprocessedt
    hemoneyand
    packedt
    helady’
    sgrocery.
    “Iapol
    ogi
    zeforwhathappenedt
    oday,pl
    easedo
    comebacknextti
    meandourser vi
    ceswould
    haveimpr
    oved.Thankyou.”
    Theladyangr
    il
    ywal
    kedaway,t
    henext
    cust
    omerinli
    newal
    kedoversmil
    i
    ngatme.
    “
    Hi,
    yournamei
    sEazi
    ?”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Yesmam.
    ”
    “Icanneverbey
    ou,howcanyoujustbr
    ingy
    our
    uselesscar
    dandthi
    nkyoucanshoutata
    cashier
    ?”
    Il
    aughedscanni
    ngt
    hegr
    ocer
    y.“
    It
    ’sl
    i
    fe,
    pl
    asti
    c?”
    “Yes.Andbythewayyouarebeauti
    ful,
    ever
    y
    ti
    meIcomeher eanddon’tfi
    ndyou,Idon’
    tfeel
    ok.Igetdi
    sappoi
    ntedbecausey
    ouar ethebest
    cashierher
    e.Youknowhowt
    otr
    eat
    customers.
    ”
    Ipackedhergr
    ocer
    y.“
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Thecust omertooktheplasti
    cwhileIatt
    ended
    toanothercustomerinli
    ne.Awhi l
    elater,I
    walkedoutoft hesuper
    mar ketandhurri
    edover
    tothebusst opwhereafullcombi wastaki
    ng
    off
    .Itstoppedthentheconductoropenedthe
    door.
    “
    Bagol
    obapangl
    eenehoo!(
    Elder
    s,pl
    easesi
    t
    wi
    thher
    .)
    ”
    “
    Etlest
    e!(
    It’
    sful
    l!
    )”Oneoft
    hepassenger
    s
    v
    oicedannoyed.
    “Nyaa,wenaokaf ol
    ogaat senammeoi tse
    goredicombidihedil
    e.(No,youcangetof fso
    shegetsinbutknowt hecombi’sarefi
    nished.
    )
    Obat l
    aatsamay akaeng?( Whatdoyouwant
    hertogowith?)Combi yegaseyagago.
    Bapangleenebagolor etsamaye,eresii
    lenako.
    (
    Thi
    scombii
    snotyour
    s.Elder
    ssi
    twi
    thherso
    wego,
    timei
    sbehi
    ndus.)
    ”
    Igoti
    nandsqueezedwit
    hotherpassengers.
    Thedoorcl
    osedandthecombidroveoff.The
    combifi
    nal
    l
    ystoppedbythebusstopcloserto
    myhouseandIsteppedoutpayi
    ngthenlooked
    atMoemediwhoheldourfi
    veyearoldson.
    “
    Mommy
    !”
    Ismi
    l
    edandhuggedt
    hem.“
    Heymyboy
    s!”
    Malcol
    mlaughedasIki
    ssedhi
    m.Wewal
    ked
    homechatt
    ing.
    “
    Howdi
    ditgo?
    ”
    Moemedismiled.“
    Wear ealmostdone,It
    hink
    i
    nadayort wotheyaregoingtogiv
    ememy
    moneyandIwi l
    lmarr
    ymyqueen.Ial r
    eady
    spoketomyuncles,t
    heyarereadyassoonasI
    getthemoneyinmyhands. ”
    Exci
    tedl
    yIgi
    ggl
    ed.“
    Iam sohappy
    .”
    “
    Youshoul
    dbe,
    howwaswor
    k?”
    “
    Theusual
    .”
    Moemodi unl
    ockedtheironer
    oom andthey
    steppedi
    nwithMalcolm asIf
    oll
    owedlocki
    ng
    behindme.It
    ookoffmyshoeswhi l
    eMoemedi
    handedmemywar mf ood.
    “
    Thanky
    oumyl
    ove.
    ”
    MoemedisatbesidemeasIat eli
    steni
    ngto
    Malcol
    mtalkaboutall
    hediddur i
    ngtheday.I
    l
    ookedathi
    m andsmi l
    edknowi ngsoonenough
    hewouldgotocrèche,Moemedi ’
    spaywas
    goi
    ngtocomet hr
    ough.Hekissedmycheek.
    “
    Imi
    ssedy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Met
    oo.
    ”
    “Hedoesn’
    tlookl
    i
    kehei
    sgoi
    ngt
    osl
    eep
    anyt
    ime.”
    Il
    aughedst
    ari
    ngatMal
    col
    m.“
    Hewi
    l
    ldoseof
    f.
    ”
    Myphoner
    angt
    henIr
    eluct
    ant
    lyanswer
    ed
    knowi
    ngt
    hecal
    lwasl
    i
    kel
    ygoi
    ngt
    orui
    nmy
    mood.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Eazi
    ,Iam wai
    ti
    ngf
    ory
    out
    osendmoney
    .”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lmama,
    assoonasIgetpai
    d.”
    “
    Youwil
    lnotbecauset
    hatmanwil
    lspendal
    l
    t
    hemoney.Whydoy ouevenst
    aywit
    hhim?He
    i
    susel
    ess.
    ”
    Istoodupandwal
    kedout
    side.“
    Mamawi
    l
    lyou
    stop?Il
    ovehi
    m.”
    “Lov
    ewon’tpayr
    entEazi
    !Forhowlongwil
    l y
    ou
    l
    ethimtakeyouf
    orafool?Youar
    et aki
    ngcare
    ofhim,
    yoursonandyour
    self
    .Heisusingyou.”
    “
    Moemedi
    lov
    esme,
    pleaseacceptt
    hat
    .”
    “
    Iam nevergoingtoacceptt
    hatmydaught
    er’
    s
    moneyisbeingrobbedbyaman.”
    “
    Mamawewi
    l
    ltal
    k.Ihav
    etogo.
    ”
    “
    6y earsofy
    ouwasti
    ngy
    ourt
    ime.Yourf
    atheri
    s
    t
    urninginhi
    sgr
    ave.
    ”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Ihungupandwalkedbackinsi
    det
    hehouse.
    Moemedilookedatmewithknowi
    ngeyesbut
    sti
    l
    lheasked.
    “
    Whatwasshesay
    ing?
    ”
    “Nothi
    ng.LetmeputMal
    col
    mtosl
    eep.Di
    dyou
    bathehim?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Iwashedmypl ateandtuckedmysoni nwho
    i
    mmedi atel
    ydosedoffonhi smat
    tressonthe
    fl
    oor.Moemedi st
    aredatmeasIundr essed
    thenfi
    ll
    edthebathi
    ngdishwi t
    hwater.
    “Mamawil
    lal
    way shavesomethi
    ngtosaybut
    sooni
    twi
    llbeoverbecauseyouwoul
    dmar r
    y
    meandshewill
    seeIwasr i
    ghtal
    lal
    ong.”
    “
    Idon’
    tbl
    ameherf
    orhat
    ingme,
    Ihav
    edone
    nothi
    ngfory ouinthepast6years,Ican’
    tev
    en
    aff
    ordtakingyoutot hesal
    ontodoy ourhai
    r.
    Malcolm shouldbegoingtocrèche.Youdo
    every
    thi
    ngi nthehouse.”
    Ibathedsmil
    ing.“Babesoonitwil
    lbeal
    ri
    ght
    .
    Youar egoi
    ngtogety ourmoneyandour
    problemswil
    lbef i
    xed.Iwi
    llbeabl
    etogotothe
    salonsomyhai rcanlookreal
    lyni
    ce.
    ”
    Moemedil
    ookedatmet earf
    ull
    yandswal l
    owed
    al
    ump.Isteppedoutofthebathi
    ngdishdrying
    mysel
    fandcrawledonthebedstraddl
    inghim.
    “
    Ilov
    eyou,
    not
    hingi
    sgoi
    ngt
    ochanget
    hat
    .”
    Igri
    ndedmywai stonhi
    mf eel
    inghi
    sdick
    expandthenki
    ssedhim whil
    eheheldmywai
    st.

    *
    **

    Thef
    oll
    owi
    ngmor
    ning,
    atLi
    na’
    shouse,
    shesat
    ont hebedwai ti
    ngf orherhusbandt ofi
    nish
    shower ing.Tendaiwalkedoutdr yi
    nghimsel f
    thendr oppedthet owelandstarteddressing.
    Tear sfi
    lledhereyesasshest aredathim, he
    didn’tevencare.
    “
    Tendai
    yest
    erdaymycar
    dsdecl
    i
    ned.
    ”
    “
    So?
    ”
    “
    Ical
    l
    edt
    hebank,
    youcancel
    l
    edt
    hem.
    ”
    “
    So?Theyar
    emi
    ne,
    it’
    smymoneyi
    nsi
    de.
    ”
    “
    Howcany
    ousayt
    hat
    ?”
    “Saywhat?I
    t’
    snotmyf aulty
    ouar enotwor king
    andallyouwantt
    odoi sspendmymoney
    thoughyoucan’
    tgivemeachi l
    d,youar elazy,
    youspendtheenti
    redaydoingnothingwhi l
    e
    otherwomenareoutthereareprogressing.”
    Tear
    sfi
    l
    ledherey
    es.“
    Iam dr
    inki
    ngt
    heher
    bs.
    Theywi
    llhel
    pme.”
    “
    Iwantanot
    herwi
    febecausey
    oucan’
    tgi
    veme
    achi
    l
    d.I
    t’
    sbeent
    woy
    ear
    sLi
    na!Twoy
    ear
    s.”
    Heputonhi
    sir
    onedshi
    rt.“
    Ihav
    ebeenpat
    ient
    enough.
    ”
    Linat
    ookadeepbreat
    h.“
    Iknowit’
    sfr
    ust
    rat
    ing
    youbutbabeIwi
    l
    lgethel
    p.Justgi
    vemea
    month.”
    Hel
    ookedatherandsi
    ghed.“
    Ok,
    amont
    h.”
    “
    Whataboutmycar
    ds?
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    thavemoney.Iwi
    thdr
    ewal
    lthemoneyi
    n
    t
    heret
    hat’
    swhyIcancel
    l
    edthem.
    ”
    Heputonhispantsandfini
    shedupdr essi
    ng.
    Li
    nawentdownstair
    swher eshedishedhis
    breakf
    ast
    .Tendai
    ratheropenedthefri
    dge
    holdi
    nghi
    sbagandgr abbedafruit
    .
    “
    Iam goi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Wai
    t…whataboutf
    ood?
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lseei
    twhenIcomeback,
    Iam l
    ate.
    ”
    Hewalkedoutwhi
    l
    esherubbedhertearyeyes
    thenwal
    kedbackt
    othebedroom andtookher
    phone.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Kgarebe,
    yousai
    dther
    eisat
    radi
    ti
    onal
    heal
    er
    whocanhelpme?”
    “
    Yes.Hei
    saf
    rom Angol
    aandhei
    sgood.
    ”
    “
    Iwantt
    oseehi
    m.”
    “Doyouhavet
    hemoney?Heistheonewho
    hel
    pedSisi
    getbackwi
    thKar
    abo.”
    “
    Ihav
    eit
    .”
    “
    Comeandpi
    ckmeup,
    wewi
    l
    lgot
    oget
    her
    .”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Li
    nahungupanddr essedupthengrabbedher
    carkeysandwalkedoutofthehouse.Minut
    es
    l
    atersheparkedi
    nfrontofKgarebe’
    shouse.
    “
    Let
    ’sgo.
    ”
    Kgarebegotinthenshedrov eoff.Overanhour
    l
    ater,Li
    nasloweddowni nfrontofanol dhut
    thensteppedoutwithKgarebe.Toget hert
    hey
    walkedinsi
    detheyardandgoti nsidethesmall
    hut.TheAngolanoldmanlookedatt hem.
    “
    Sit
    .”
    Theybot
    hsatdownwhi
    l
    eLi
    na’
    shear
    tpounded.
    “Iwanttogetpr
    egnant.MyhusbandandIhav
    e
    beentry
    ingfort
    woy earsnowbutnot
    hingi
    s
    happeni
    ng.”
    Thetr
    adit
    ional
    healerl
    ookedatLi
    na.
    “Somet
    hingistyi
    ngyourwomb.”
    “
    Whati
    sit
    ?Cany
    our
    emov
    eit
    ?”
    “Yesbutwhat’st
    yingyourwombcanonly
    causemiscar
    ri
    age.Younotgett
    ingpr
    egnanti
    s
    notyourf
    ault
    .Yourhusbandist
    heprobl
    em.”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Yes,
    butIcangi
    vey
    ousomet
    hingt
    otr
    yand
    hel
    phim butusual
    lyf
    orthi
    sIwoul
    dsuggest
    wester
    nhelpbecauseit
    ’smor
    estr
    aightt
    othe
    poi
    nt.”
    “
    Hedoesn’
    tbeli
    evethepr
    obl
    em i
    shi
    m.How
    muchi
    severy
    thing?
    ”
    “
    5K.
    ”
    Li
    nagaspedst
    ari
    ngatt
    heol
    dmant
    henl
    ooked
    atKgar
    ebe.
    “
    P5000?
    ”
    “
    Yeschi
    l
    d,butP3000deposi
    t.
    ”
    “
    Ok.Ihav
    eP3000.
    ’
    “Theancest
    orsonl
    yacceptcash,i
    fyoudon’
    t
    havecashyouhavetogoback.”
    “
    Ihav
    ecash.
    ”
    “
    Good.
    ”
    Minuteslat
    ert
    heywal
    kedout.Li
    nagoti
    nthe
    carholdi
    ngabott
    lewi
    thwaterandst
    ones.
    “Iknowwhatyouarethi
    nki
    ngbutthi
    smanhas
    alotofcust
    omers,
    y eshei
    sexpensi
    vebuthei
    s
    good.”
    “
    Ihopeso.
    ”
    Shestart
    edthecaranddroveof
    f.Awhil
    elater
    shedroppedKgarebeoffanddr
    ovehome
    whereshechangedandpackedherhusband’s
    l
    unchusingthewatershehadgott
    en.

    *
    **

    AtTendai’
    swork,t
    herecept
    ioni
    stl
    aughedwi
    th
    hercol
    leaguechat
    ti
    ng.
    “Nnammar ebat
    ladi sal
    aryi
    ncrement,
    (Iwant
    sal
    aryi
    ncrement
    .)Ihavebeenwor ki
    ngherefor
    morethan5year
    sy etIam st
    il
    lgetti
    ngthe
    samemoney .
    ”
    “
    Tel
    lmeabouti
    t.
    ”
    Aladywalkedoverandsmil
    edatt
    hem i
    ncl
    assy
    smartcl
    othesandheels.
    “
    Mor
    ning,
    isMr
    .Ti
    n?”
    “
    Mr.Taf
    ir
    a?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Yeshei
    sin,
    isheexpect
    ingy
    ou?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    secondf
    loor
    ,thef
    ir
    stdoort
    oyourl
    eft
    .”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    Shewalkedupstai
    rsthentherecept
    ioni
    st
    col
    leaguel
    aughed.“That
    ’shismistr
    ess.
    ”
    “
    Lies!
    ”
    “Iam t
    ell
    i
    ngyou.Ioncesawt
    hem whenBoago
    bookedmeintoahotelt
    hatt
    ime.
    ”
    “
    Youl
    i
    e!”
    “
    Iam t
    ell
    i
    ngy
    ou.That
    ’shi
    smi
    str
    ess.
    ”
    “
    Shei
    sbeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    “Whywouldn’
    tshebebeautif
    ul?Keslayqueen.
    (Sheisasl
    ayqueen.)Thoseonesarealwayson
    pointandt
    heywil
    ltakeyourman.”
    Li
    nawal
    kedi
    nwi t
    hasmi
    l
    easusual
    andl
    ooked
    att
    her
    ecept
    ioni
    st.
    “
    Mihl
    a,hey
    .”
    “
    Madam boss.
    ”
    Li
    nal
    aughed.“
    Ishei
    n?”
    “Uhyesbutheisi
    nameet i
    ng.Hesai
    dhe
    doesn’twantt
    obedi
    stur
    bed,butl
    etmecal
    l
    him.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Mi
    hlat
    ookt
    hephoneandcal
    l
    ed.
    “
    Idon’
    twantanydi
    stur
    bance.Cancel
    all
    my
    morni
    ngmeeti
    ngs.
    ”
    “
    UhSi
    r,y
    ourwi
    fei
    sher
    e.”
    “Tel
    lherIam i
    nameet
    ing.Iwi
    l
    lseeherat
    home.”
    Hehungupbefor
    eMihlacoul
    dsayany
    thi
    ng
    el
    se.Shel
    ookedathi
    swife.
    “
    Hei
    sst
    il
    li
    nameet
    ing.
    ”
    “
    IknowbutIam j
    ustdroppi
    ngt
    hisof
    fand
    l
    eavi
    ng.Iwon’
    tbelong.
    ”
    “Mrs.Taf
    ara,Ithi
    nkhei
    swi
    thi
    mpor
    tant
    sharehol
    ders.
    ”
    Tsheboshookherhead.“
    Mihl
    a,bossladyreal
    l
    y
    wantstogiv
    ethi
    stoherhusband.Iam sur
    ehe
    won’tmind.
    ”
    Mihl
    alookedatTsheboinshockwhilesayi
    ng
    nowithhereyes.Tsheboignor
    edher.“
    Mrs.T,
    gori
    ghtaheadandgi veyourmanhismeal.
    Whenhewor kssohar dhewon’tev
    en
    rememberhehast oeat.
    ”
    Li
    nal
    aughed.“
    Youar
    eri
    ghtaboutt
    hat
    ,Iwi
    l
    lgo
    r
    ightup.Thanksl
    adi
    es.Iowey
    oubot
    hone.
    ”
    ShewalkedawaythenMihl
    alookedatTshebo.
    “YouknowImightgetf
    ir
    ed?”
    “
    Youwi
    l
    lsayi
    t’
    sme.Idon’
    tsuppor
    tcheat
    ing.
    ”
    “Whaty
    oudon’
    tsuppor
    tdoesn’
    tmat
    terher
    e.
    Thi
    sisnoty
    ourcompany.
    ”
    “
    Ther
    eisgoi
    ngt
    obedr
    amat
    oday
    .”
    Mihl
    atr
    iednott
    olaughbutev
    ent
    ual
    l
    yshedi
    d.
    “
    DidyouseeMrs.T’
    sheel?
    ”
    Tshebolaughed.“Shei
    sgoi
    ngt
    obeabl
    eto
    fi
    ghtwit
    ht hatone.”
    “Tobehonest,f
    ir
    stmadam t ogorightupwil
    l
    burnMrs.T.Sheisay ell
    owbone,smoothlegs,
    hipsandass.
    Noof fensesheisbeauti
    ful
    .Mrs.T
    usedtobebeautif
    ul butahh…”
    Tshebolaughed.“
    Iknow,butdon’
    tthinkabout
    al
    lthat
    ,thi
    nkaboutthebeati
    ngthatisaboutto
    godown.”
    “
    Iam soexci
    tedf
    ort
    his.
    ”
    Thel
    adi
    esbot
    hwai
    tedi
    nant
    ici
    pat
    ion.

    *
    **

    Linatookadeepbreathappr
    oachingher
    husband’sof
    fi
    ce,shewasprett
    ysurehewould
    l
    ov eit
    .Shehadmadehi sfav
    ori
    te.Sheopened
    thedoorandwalkedinbutfr
    ozeatthedoor
    stari
    ngatherhusbandonhisoff
    icecouch
    ri
    dingawoman.

    Tendair
    aisedhi
    sheadandlookedathi
    swi
    fe
    thenqui
    cklyj
    umpedofft
    hewomanwhogotup
    andstar
    edatLinawit
    hasigh.
    “
    Tendai
    ,i
    sthi
    sher
    ?”
    “
    Babe,
    canwet
    alkl
    ater
    ?”
    Thewomanchuckl edthenstoodupandcalml
    y
    dressedwhil
    eLinastoodsti
    l
    l.Sheputonher
    si
    xi nxhheel
    sandpickedherwatchand
    handbag.
    “
    Tendai
    whati
    sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “
    Linawhatar
    eyoudoi
    ngher
    e?”
    Li
    nalookedatthewomanwal koutbutgr
    abbed
    herbyherhai
    r.“Don’
    tyouknowthi
    smani s
    marri
    ed?”
    “
    Sweet
    y,gety
    ourhandsof
    fme.
    ”
    Li
    na’
    sheartpoundedasshel
    ookedather
    angr
    il
    ythenspil
    l
    edTendai
    ’sl
    unchonher.“
    Hei
    s
    myhusband.”
    Thewomanscr eamedmov i
    ngback.Tendairan
    overt
    oherasLi nawatchedwit
    ht ear
    sburning
    herey
    es.Shetookoffhershoeandt hrewitat
    hi
    sgirlhi
    tt
    ingherfor
    ehead.“Heismyhusband
    bi
    tch!
    ”
    Tendai
    angr
    il
    ywalkedov
    erandsl
    appedLi
    na
    acr
    ossthef
    ace.“
    Getoutofmyof
    fice.
    ”
    Hisgirl
    fr
    iendqui
    cklyr
    anof fasLi
    natookofft
    he
    othershoeandthrewitatherhi
    tt
    ingthebacon
    herhead.“Bit
    ch!
    ”
    Tendaiangr
    il
    ysl
    appedLi
    naevenharder
    ,she
    stagger
    edbackfeel
    i
    ngdi
    zzyasbloodoozed
    fr
    om hernose.
    “
    Youar
    ebeat
    ingmef
    ort
    hatbi
    tch?
    ”
    “
    Iam donewi
    thy
    ou,
    Itol
    dyou.
    ”
    Tear
    srandownhercheeks.“
    Itol
    dyout
    ogi
    ve
    metime.
    ”
    “Mapulai
    sgoi ngtogivemewhatyoucan’
    tgi
    ve
    me.IthoughtIwoul dmakehermysecondwif
    e
    butIseeyouar ecrazy
    ,youdon’
    tev
    endeserv
    e
    bei
    ngmywi f
    e.”
    “
    Tendai
    …”
    “
    Getoutofmyof
    fi
    ce.
    ”
    Linawi pedt
    hebloodandwal kedout.She
    passedt her
    ecepti
    onistandwentout .Hereyes
    fell
    onTendai’sgir
    lf
    ri
    endwhowasdr ivi
    ngof f
    .
    Shegoti nhercarandcoveredherfacecrying.
    Shet ookherphoneandcalledhermot her.
    “
    Mama…Tendai
    ischeat
    ing.
    ”
    “Whatdoyouexpectwhenyoucan’
    tgi
    vehi
    ma
    chi
    ld.Hei
    sboundtocheat.
    ”
    “
    Whatam Isupposedt
    odo?
    ”
    “Gethi
    m someonewhocanandremai
    nhiswif
    e.
    Thatwayyouwil
    lal
    wayshavecont
    rol
    overt
    he
    sit
    uati
    on.
    ”
    “
    Youwantmet
    oshar
    emyhusband?
    ”
    “
    Youcan’
    thav
    eki
    dsLi
    na,
    whatshoul
    dhappen
    t
    hen?
    ”
    “
    Wow!
    ”
    “Yes,y
    ouneedt obeawomanandputonthe
    bigshoes.Youcan’
    tal
    way
    scry,
    rat
    herthanhi
    m
    choosingawomanf orhi
    mself,
    youl
    ookf ora
    womanf orhim,someoneyoucancontr
    ol.You
    wil
    lalwaysbethemadam andshewill
    bet he
    babymaki ngmachi
    ne.Aft
    ershegi
    vesbirth,
    you
    wil
    ltakethechi
    ld.
    ”
    Li
    nahungupandst
    art
    edhercar
    .

    *
    **

    Mapulaspokeonherphonedr
    ivi
    ng.Herf
    ri
    end
    l
    aughed.
    “
    Don’
    tlaugh,
    Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evet
    hismanl
    i
    edt
    ome.
    ”
    “Howcoul
    dyoubeli
    evehim?Theyli
    elikethat
    .
    Hedoesn’
    twantadivor
    cefr
    om hi
    swife,that
    ’s
    all
    li
    es.
    ”
    “
    Shespi
    l
    ledf
    oodonme.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ryf
    ri
    end.
    ”
    “
    Mxm,
    hei
    scal
    l
    ing.
    ”
    Shedroppedherf
    ri
    end’
    scal
    landanswer
    ed
    Tendai
    ’s.“
    Whatdoyouwantfr
    om me?”
    “
    Babecanwet
    alkaboutt
    his?
    ”
    “Wearenottal
    kingaboutanyt
    hing,Ican’
    t
    bel
    i
    eveyoutoldmey ouwer ei
    nt heprocessof
    get
    ti
    ngadivorce.”
    “
    Babe,
    comeon.
    ”
    “
    Youl
    i
    edt
    ome.
    ”
    “
    Iam f
    il
    ingf
    ordi
    vor
    ce.Shecan’
    tgi
    vemeki
    ds.
    ”
    “Youarel
    yi
    ng.Idon’
    tbel
    iev
    eyou.Nowmyhead
    i
    sachingbecauseshehi
    tmewithashoet
    wice
    andIam st
    inki
    ngfood.
    ”
    “
    Letmesendy
    oumoney
    .Iam sor
    ry.Il
    ovey
    ou.
    ”
    Mapul
    ahungupt hensmi
    ledatt
    hebank
    t
    ransf
    er.Hecal
    l
    edherback.
    “
    P7000?Igoti
    t.
    ”
    “Iam sor
    ryaboutwhathappened,
    itwon’
    t
    happenagain.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    butIwantt
    oseet
    hedi
    vor
    cepaper
    s.”
    “
    Don’
    twor
    ryabouti
    t.
    ”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Shehungupanddrov
    ebacktoherhousewher
    e
    shecl
    eanedher
    sel
    fandwentforshoppi
    ng.

    *
    **

    Ismil
    edstar
    ingatmysonwr i
    tingonthebookI
    hadboughtf
    orhim.Hishandwr i
    ti
    ngwasbigbut
    hisl
    ett
    erswerecor
    rect
    lyshaped.
    “
    That
    ’smyboy
    !”
    “
    Iam goi
    ngt
    oschool
    mama?
    ”
    “
    Nol
    ove,
    noty
    etbutsoon.Ar
    eyouexci
    ted.
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    Iam goi
    ngt
    owearuni
    for
    m andbel
    i
    ke
    ot
    herki
    ds.
    ”
    “
    Yesyouwi
    l
    lbe.Ok,
    youcanwr
    it
    ewhaty
    ou
    want
    .”
    Itookmyphoneandscr ol
    ledthroughf acebook
    thenpausedcomi ngacrossmycousi n’
    s
    weddi ngpictur
    es.Izoomedi nont hepi ct
    ures
    withasmi l
    eofenv ybutknowingsooni twil
    lbe
    me, Ismi l
    edandreactedwi thheartsont he
    pict
    urel eavi
    ngacommentbehi nd.Myphone
    rangandMoemedi ’
    ssist
    er’snamef lashedon
    thescr een.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Eazi,
    hi,
    Iam aski
    ngf
    orP200.Iranshor
    tofmy
    r
    entmoneythismont
    handthelandl
    ordis
    t
    hreat
    eningt
    okickmeout
    .”
    “
    Ist
    il
    lhav
    en’
    tgotpai
    d.”
    “
    Eazi
    Iam beggi
    ngy
    ou,
    please.
    ”
    Isi
    ghed.“
    Ok,
    buti
    t’
    sthel
    astmoneyIhav
    e.”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Ihungupandlookedatmybankbal ancethen
    madecalcul
    ati
    ons.IsentherP100ewall
    etthen
    shecal
    ledmeback.
    “
    Eazi
    P200notP100.
    ”
    “
    That’
    sallIhav
    e,can’
    tyouaskf
    rom y
    our
    f
    ri
    ends?”
    “Ahhsharpmma, ifyoudidn’twanty oucould
    havesaidsoinst
    eadofr ai
    singmyhopesf orno
    reasonknowingyoudon’twant .Iknowt hat’
    s
    mybr ot
    her’
    smoneyy ouarerefusingwith, I
    wonderhowi twi
    llbeoncey ougetmar r
    ied.”
    Itookadeepbreathl
    i
    steni
    ngt
    ohert
    alk.“
    Iam
    hangingup,
    bye.”
    “
    Mxm.
    ”
    Ihungupandputmyphonedownandchanged
    i
    ntomyjeansandwor
    kt-shi
    rtwi
    tht
    hecap.
    “
    Mal
    col
    m,l
    et’
    sgo.
    ”
    Hequickl
    yputonhi sshoesandwalkedout.I
    fol
    lowedaft
    erhim andtoget
    herwewal kedto
    MmaK’ shouse.Myphonev ibr
    atedfr
    om my
    backpocket
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Hi,
    kemosadiyol
    ogang?(
    ist
    hist
    heladywho
    plai
    ts?
    )Igoty
    ournumberf
    rom af
    ri
    end.
    ”
    “
    Ehmma.(
    Yesmam.
    )”
    “
    Iwantt
    opl
    atemyhai
    rtomor
    row.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lbeav
    ail
    abl
    efr
    om mor
    ningt
    il
    ll
    unchhour
    .”
    “
    Ok,Ihavesenty
    out
    hehai
    rst
    yleIwanton
    Whatsapp.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    what
    ’sy
    ourname?
    ”
    “
    Mapula.It
    ’saweav
    e,32i
    nches.Howmuchi
    s
    f
    itandfi
    x?”
    “
    Itdepends,
    whi
    chweav
    e?”
    “
    Brazi
    l
    ian.
    ”
    “Fi
    tandf i
    xforthatoneisP2800,
    P2500fort
    he
    weav esi
    nceit’
    sthelongoneandP300for
    putt
    ingitonwithstyl
    ingasabonustr
    eat
    ment.”
    “
    Ok,
    sowhatt
    imecany
    oupl
    ateme?
    ”
    “
    Icanst
    artinthemor
    ning.Iam v
    eryf
    ast
    ,you
    won’
    tsi
    tforlong.
    ”
    “
    Ok,morni
    ngiti
    s.Iwil
    lsendy
    oudi
    rect
    ionst
    o
    myhouseoverWhatsapp.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.Ial
    sodomake-
    upandnai
    l
    s.”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lseey
    ourwor
    kwheny
    oucome.By
    e.”
    Mapul
    ahungupthenIjumpedscr
    eami
    ng.
    Mal
    col
    mlaughedstar
    ingatme.
    “
    Mamay
    ouar
    ebehav
    ingl
    i
    kesmal
    lchi
    l
    d.”
    “
    Iam sohappymyboy
    !”
    Theygoti
    nMmaK’ sy
    ardandknockedont
    he
    door.MmaKopenedwit
    hasmile.
    “
    Myboy
    !”
    Mal
    col
    m huggedMmaK.“
    HiMmaK.
    ”
    “
    Eazi
    ,
    ”
    “
    Ma,
    howar
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Iam f
    ine.
    ”
    Iopenedmyhandbagbutshest
    oppedme.“
    He
    i
    sgrandchi
    l
    d.Iwon’tmakeyoupay
    .”
    “Thankyousomuch.Idon’
    tknowwhatIwoul
    d
    bedoingwit
    houty
    ou.”
    “
    Howi
    sMoemedi
    ?”
    “
    Heishopingt
    ogetpai
    dsoonsowecanget
    mar
    ri
    ed.”
    “
    Isee,
    that
    ’sgoodnews.
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Yes,
    Iam soexci
    ted.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lseey
    oul
    aterEazi
    ,don’
    tgett
    owor
    klat
    e.”
    Il
    aughedwalki
    ngawayt hengotacombit
    o
    work.Ar
    ri
    vi
    ngIwal kedovert
    omywor kst
    ati
    on.
    Acustomerwalkedover.
    “
    Rekat senanemma?(
    Canwecome
    t
    hrough?)”
    “
    Goodaf
    ter
    noon,
    pleasegi
    vemeami
    nut
    e.”
    Ilookedatthelongqueuesknowingmont
    hend
    wasappr oachi
    ng.Minutesl
    ater
    ,myti
    ll
    was
    functi
    oni
    ng.
    Acol
    l
    eaguel
    ookedatme.“
    HeyEazi
    …”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Heyl
    ove,
    Iwi
    shIwer
    eyou.
    ”
    Thecol
    leaguel
    aughed.“
    NextweekIwi
    l
    lbe
    cr
    yingt
    obey ou.
    ”
    “
    Byef
    ri
    end.
    ”
    “
    Bye!
    ”
    Il
    ookedatt
    hecust
    omer
    .“Pl
    ast
    ic?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Iputherfewitemsinapl
    asti
    cthenhandedi tt
    o
    her.Thenextcust
    omerinl
    inewalkedov er
    ,my
    phonev i
    brat
    edinmypocketthenIlooked
    aroundasthenex tcustomerinli
    neputher
    i
    temsont hecount er.Di
    screet
    lyIt
    ookitoutand
    l
    ookedatMoemedi ’scall
    ,henevercal
    l
    edduring
    work.Iswall
    owedhar dandansweredwitha
    poundingheart
    ,ifthemanagersawmehe
    woulddefi
    nit
    elyfir
    eme.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    HiEazi
    ,i
    t’
    sThat
    o.”
    “
    Hi…”
    Thecustomerl ookedatmeinshockand
    l
    aughedcl appingherhands.“Heel
    atl
    hamma, o
    mofounungnar e?Kantedi
    casheral
    ent
    sejang?
    Gaor ebone( Ar eyouonthephone?Whyare
    youcashiersliket hi
    s?Can’
    tyouseeus?
    )”
    “Eazi
    ,Moemedif
    ell
    onaladder
    ,hei
    sinhospi
    tal
    ,
    hebrokehi
    sarm.Theyhadtot
    akehi
    mt o
    Mar i
    na.
    ”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    Thecust omershookherhead.“ Youknowwhat ,
    youmustt hi
    nky ouar eallt
    hatbecausey ou
    workatt het i
    ll
    ,can’tyouseet helongqueueor
    youjustdon’ tcare?Ifyoudon’ tandcan’t
    respectthef actthatthi
    sisawor kplace,
    then
    packy ourbagsandl eave.Ther ei
    snoneedf or
    youtobeher e,youdon’tev enrespectyour
    customer s.”
    “
    Iapol
    ogi
    zemam.
    ”
    “
    Idemandt
    otal
    ktoy
    ourmanager
    .”
    “Iam sor
    ry,
    itwon’thappenagai
    n.Ihadt
    o
    answeranemer gencyphonecal
    l.
    ”
    “
    Idemandt
    otal
    ktoy
    ourmanager
    .”
    Eazi
    ’sheartpoundedasthelady’
    svoi
    cegrew
    evenlouder.Oneofhercol
    leagueswal
    kedover
    .
    “Iwouldli
    ketoapologi
    zeonbehalfonmyco-
    worker,canwepleasejustsol
    vei
    there,
    we
    promiseitwon’
    teverhappenagai
    n.”
    “No,fi
    rstofallyoucashi
    ersarerudetous,you
    areignorantanddisr
    espectful
    ,andnowwe
    havetowai tforyoutofi
    nishony ourphone
    call
    stil
    lyouat t
    endtous?”
    Themanagerwalkedoverduetothe
    commoti
    onwhilemyhear tpoundedev
    enmor
    e.
    Thecust
    omerlookedatthemanager.
    “
    Shewastal
    kingonthephonenotat
    tendi
    ngt
    o
    t
    hecust
    omers,i
    sthatwhatyoudohere?”
    Themanagerl
    ookedatmeonceasacol
    dchi
    l
    l
    randownmyspine.
    “Iwouldl
    iket oapologizeforsuchbehavior
    ,that
    i
    snothowt heyar etr
    ainedtotreatcust
    omer s,
    wepr omisey outoattendtotheissue
    i
    mmedi atel
    y .Itwi
    llneverhappenagain,do
    acceptoursi ncer
    eapol ogi
    es.
    ”
    “Ihopei
    twon’tev
    erhappenagai
    nbecause
    suchbehav
    iorisj
    ustunr
    uly
    .”
    “
    Weagr
    ee.
    ”
    Themanagerwal
    kedov
    ertome.“
    Fini
    shwith
    queueandcometomyoff
    icei
    mmediat
    ely
    .”
    “
    Yessi
    r.
    ”
    Hewal kedawaythenIquickl
    ygotbacktomy
    duti
    es.Assoonast hequeuegotless,
    Iclosed
    theti
    llmoti
    oni
    ngf orthel
    astcust
    omertogot o
    thenextti
    ll
    andwal kedtomymanager ’
    soffi
    ce.
    Iknockedgentl
    yandwal kedi
    nsecondslater.
    “
    Sir
    ,Ir
    eal
    l
    y-“
    “I
    t’
    sokEazi ,Iunderstand,somet imeswehav e
    emer genciesandweneedt oat tendt othem but
    sti
    l
    lcan’ tdenyt hefactthatthi
    si sawor kplace
    anditneedst ober espected.Youar eahard
    workerandev eryonecanseet hat, butwhat
    happenedt odayisgoi ngtotarnishourname
    andIam af rai
    ditmi ghtcostyouy ourjob.
    Switchingof fyourphonei spar tofourpol i
    cy,
    youknowt hatright?”
    “
    Iknowandi
    twi
    l
    lnev
    erhappenagai
    n.”
    “Iknowbuti t
    ’stherul
    es.Icanbendt hem f
    or
    you.Youar eav er
    ybrightgirlEazi,youarever
    y
    beauti
    fulgir
    landIknowy ouhav et osupport
    yourfamily
    .Icanmakey ouhappy ,wecan
    makeeachot herhappy.Ireall
    ylikey ou.I
    fyou
    aremywomant henyoudon’ thav etowor r
    y
    aboutyourjob.”
    Ilookedathim wi
    thapoundi
    ngheart
    .Mymind
    wor kedovert
    ime,
    hewasoldenoughtobemy
    fatherorevenmoreandyet
    …
    “Whatdoyousay
    ?Doy
    ouwantt
    okeepy
    ourj
    ob
    orwhat?
    ”

    *
    **

    AtMmaK’ shouse,her17y earol


    dgr andchi
    l
    d
    walkedfr
    om school andwentst r
    aighttoher
    room.Shef r
    ownedst ari
    ngatMal colm whowas
    sleepi
    ngfaceupt henlockedthedoorand
    walkedov ertakingdroppingherbagt othefl
    oor.
    Shequi cklytookherpant i
    esandski r
    tand
    pull
    eddownMal colm’sshortsthenlookedat
    hi
    sdi ck.Itactuall
    ylookedslightl
    ybigfr
    om a
    fi
    vey earold’sdickandwi thhim sheknewshe
    wouldn’tgetpr egnant.Sherubbedhistinydi
    ck
    ti
    l
    litbecamehar dandst raddledhim.Malcol
    m
    openedhi sey esandl ookedatLebotha.
    “
    Shhh….Iwi
    l
    lgi
    vey
    ousweet
    s.”
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #2

    AtPrincessMarina,Iwalkedinsi
    deMoemedi ’s
    wardandl ookedathim sleepi
    ng.Tear
    sfill
    ed
    myey esasIwal kedoverstari
    ngattheplaster
    onhisar m.Moemedi sl
    owl yopenedhiseyes
    andlookedatme.
    “
    Heybabe…”
    “
    Whathappened?
    ”
    “
    Ifel
    l
    .”
    “
    Sowhat
    ’sgoi
    ngt
    ohappennow.
    ”
    “Thatoisgoi
    ngtoworkonmybehal
    f.The
    Chinesecame,weareget
    ti
    ngourmoney
    tomorrow.”
    Igaspedput
    ti
    ngmyhandov
    ermymout
    h.He
    smiled.
    “That’
    swhyIam notthatwor
    riedr
    ightnow.I
    call
    edmyuncleandhesai dt
    heyaregoingtogo
    toyourfami
    l
    ytomor r
    ow, t
    ogetthi
    ngsstart
    ed
    on.”
    Ismi
    l
    edhuggi
    nghi
    m.“
    Babe!
    ”
    Moemedi l
    aughed.“
    Iknow.Iam exci
    ted.But
    becauseIwantustostar
    tabusiness,Iwas
    thi
    nkingt
    hatIshoul
    dpaybr i
    depri
    cethenfrom
    ther
    ewegot othecommi ssi
    oner
    ’soffi
    ce.We
    wi
    llhaveabi
    gweddi
    ngonceourbusi
    nessi
    s
    makingmoney.
    ”
    Inodded.“Iagree.Ihav
    ethatmoneyIhav
    e
    beensaving.”
    “Thatmoneyi
    syour
    stogobackt oschool
    .You
    aregoi
    ngtobeanArchi
    tect
    ure.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iam sohappy
    .”
    “
    Howwaswor
    k?”
    Il
    ookedi
    nhi
    sey
    esandsmi
    l
    ed.“
    Fine.
    ”
    “Ok,youhavet
    ogo,Iam sur
    eMal
    col
    m has
    exhaustedMmaK.”
    Ilaughed.“
    Yeah.
    ”Iki
    ssedhi
    m.“
    Iwi
    l
    lseey
    ou
    tomor r
    ow.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Ihel
    dmybagpr operl
    yandwal
    kedoutsmil
    ing.I
    coul
    dn’twai
    ttowearmyGermanypri
    ntdr
    ess
    l
    ookingli
    keawife.
    *
    **

    Meanwhil
    einMoemedi
    ’sward,
    het
    ookouthi
    s
    phoneandcal
    l
    edhisf
    ather
    .
    “
    Moemedi
    …”
    “
    Papa,
    Iam bor
    rowi
    ngmoney
    .”
    “
    Youar
    ebor
    rowi
    ngmoney
    ?Forwhat
    ?”
    “Ihadapr ojectIwasdoing,wewer ebui
    ldi
    nga
    houseandt odayIf el
    landbrokemyar m.The
    Chineseguycamet oseet hehouseandThat o
    saidhei sn’
    thappyandwant saf ewthi
    ngsfixed
    beforehecanpayus.ButIhadt oldEazil
    ast
    nightthatIwouldgetpaidsoonandmar r
    yher
    becauseherf amilykeepsonmaki ngherdoubt
    me. ”
    “Ok,j
    ustwai
    tti
    l
    lyougetpai
    dthen,
    Eazi
    isan
    underst
    andi
    ngwoman.”
    “Iknowbutshei sgoingtobedi
    sappointed.I
    am tir
    edofdi sappoi
    nt i
    ngher
    ,onedayshei s
    j
    ustgoi ngtoleavemeandIam scar ed.Iwant
    tomar ryher,Iwil
    lpaybackthemoneyassoon
    asIgetpai d.Ipromise.”
    “MoemedievenifIgi
    veyouthemoney,
    itwon’t
    beenoughtomar r
    y.Andther
    eshoul
    dbe
    tr
    anspor
    tmoneyt ogotoSepopafr
    om Seronga,
    i
    t'
    snotenough."
    "
    Can'
    twej
    ustgowi
    tht
    hel
    i
    ttl
    eIhav
    e?"
    "
    Youwi
    l
    lembar
    rasst
    hef
    ami
    l
    y."
    Moemedi si
    ghedt
    ear
    ful
    l
    y."
    Pleasehel
    pme.I
    '
    m
    backedupinacor
    ner
    ."
    "Iwi
    l
    lvi
    sitt
    hekr
    aal
    andseehowmanycat
    tl
    eI
    cansel
    l
    ."
    "
    Thanky
    ou.
    "
    Hi
    sfat
    herhungupthenheputhishandoverhi
    s
    f
    aceasasharpheadacheat
    tackedhi
    mf r
    om al
    l
    si
    des.

    *
    **

    Mapulaclosedherey esmoaningTendai
    ’s
    namesoftlyinhisearwhilehegrunt
    edontop
    ofher.Hegav eherthelastst
    rokeandfr
    oze
    i
    nsideherreleasi
    nghisseedsdeepinher.He
    ki
    ssedherslidingoutthenMapulasatup
    wipi
    ngherself.
    “Iam sor
    ryforwhathappenedear
    li
    eron.I
    twi
    l
    l
    neverhappenagai
    n.”
    “
    Idon’
    twantt
    obesuedbyy
    ourwi
    feTendai
    .
    ”
    “
    Thatwon’thappen.Iam di
    vor
    cingher
    .Shei
    s
    i
    nfer
    ti
    leandloose.
    ”
    Mapul
    alaughed.“
    Sti
    l
    l,shei
    sst
    il
    lyourwi
    fe.
    ”
    “
    Ipr
    omi
    se,
    Iam di
    vor
    cingher
    .Iwantachi
    l
    d.”
    “
    Iam scar
    ed.Iam st
    il
    lonmyi
    nter
    nshi
    p.”
    “
    Iknow,
    Iwi
    l
    ltakecar
    eofy
    oubabe.
    ”
    Mapul
    alookedi
    nhi
    sey
    esandsmi
    l
    ed.“
    Ok.
    ”
    Heki
    ssedherandl
    aybesi
    deher
    .
    “
    Aren’
    tyougoi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    No.
    ”
    “It
    hinkyoushoul
    dgo,cal
    m herdownsothat
    shedoesn’tmakethedi
    vor
    cediff
    icul
    t.
    ”
    “
    Shewoul
    dn’
    t.Li
    nai
    sst
    upi
    d.”
    “Babe,l
    istentome, Iknowhowwomenar e,she
    wil
    lreactandascor nedwomani sdangerous.
    Gohome, deal wit
    hsituati
    onandgett heball
    rol
    li
    ngont hedivorce.Idon’twanttobeknown
    asahomewr eckerandal sodatingmarri
    ed
    menwi llblockmybl essings.Ij
    ustwantust o
    haveani cef r
    eerelati
    onship.”
    Tendai
    smi
    l
    ed.“
    Ilov
    eyourt
    hinki
    ng.
    ”
    Mapul
    aki
    ssedhi
    m.“
    Ilov
    eyou.Nowdr
    essand
    go.
    ”
    Mapulalookedathim ashedr essedupthen
    walkedoutwithhiscarkeys.Shesighedlay
    ing
    backonherbedt houghtf
    ull
    y.

    *
    **

    Li
    nal ookedatthewat chtearf
    ull
    y,i
    twasl at
    eyet
    hewasn' thomey et.Sheknewhewaswi thher
    .
    Herringshoneatherast ear
    srandownher
    cheeks.Shepausedast hecardroveinthen
    hurr
    iedtobedroom andgoti nbed.Mi nutes
    l
    aterhewal kedin,shelookedathim ashe
    undressed.
    "
    CanIdi
    shf
    ory
    ou?
    "
    "
    No,
    I'
    mfi
    ne.
    "
    Shet
    ookadeepbr
    eat
    hrecal
    l
    ingt
    headv
    iseshe
    hadgot tenthedayshegotmarri
    ed.Amanwas
    boundt ocheat,i
    twasinhisnat
    ur etoand
    confrontinghi
    m wouldmakehim evenmor e
    rebel
    lious.Shegotoffbedandpickedhis
    clot
    hessmel l
    i
    ngthefemaleper
    fumet henput
    them inthelaundr
    ybasket.
    "Babe,Iam sorryforcomingtoyourof
    ficeand
    causingascene, Iam sorr
    yforatt
    acki
    ngy our
    visi
    tor,
    itwon'teverhappenagain.
    "
    Tendail
    ookedatherwi
    thdi
    sbel
    ief
    ,hehad
    expect
    edforhert
    oshoutandcauseascene
    butsheseemedcalm.
    "
    Shoul
    dIr
    uny
    ouabat
    h?"
    Heslowlyshookhi
    shead."
    Ijustwantt
    o
    shower.
    "
    "
    Ok.
    "
    Hewalkedinsidethebat
    hroom,shehear
    dthe
    showerthenpickedhi
    sphonefr
    om thebedand
    tr
    iedunl
    ockingitbuti
    thadapasscode.Sheput
    i
    tdownandsatont hebed, shehadsmelther
    al
    loverhi
    m.Tendai wal
    kedbacki nminut
    es
    l
    aterandgotinbed.Shelookedathi
    m asher
    pussythr
    obbed,i
    thasbeenweekssi ncethey
    l
    asthadsex.Shetouchedhisback.
    "
    Tendai
    ..
    ."
    "
    Lina,
    I'
    mti
    red.
    "
    Hisrej
    ecti
    onwasl i
    keashar pknif
    eonherchest ,
    sheslowlyletgoandl ookedattheceili
    ngwi t
    h
    tear
    sinherey es.Shethoughtful
    lythoughtof
    hermotherbuti ft
    hepr obl
    em washi mt hen
    howcouldhepossi blymakeanot herwoman
    notherpregnant?Hisphoner angthenhe
    answeredwi t
    hasmi l
    e.
    "
    Babe? .
    ..Yes."Helaughed."Il
    ovey outoo.Iwi
    l
    l
    t
    ransferthemoneyt oy ou.
    ..Here.
    ..Shedoesn'
    t
    matter.
    ..Nothingwil
    lhappentoy ou..
    .Bye."
    Hehungupandclosedhi
    sey
    essl
    eepi
    ngwhi
    l
    e
    Li
    nacri
    edsi
    l
    entl
    y.
    *
    **

    Thef ol
    lowi ngmor ni
    ng,shequi cklymade
    breakfastf orhimt henfrownedatt hecar
    hooteratt hegat e.Shepr essedt hegat er
    emote
    walkingtot hedoorandsmi ledst ari
    ngather
    brotherin-l
    awst eppingoutofaf ancycar.
    Attr
    activeasev er,Abedil
    ewal kedov erwi
    tha
    naughtysmi l
    eslidi
    nghishandsi nhispocket
    .
    Li
    nasmi led, hewasf ull
    ofhimsel f .
    "
    Lina.
    ..
    "
    Li
    nablushedstar
    ingathim."Ar
    en'
    tyou
    supposedtobeinFrance?"
    Helaughedbi
    ti
    ngi
    ntohi
    slowerl
    i
    p."
    Sti
    l
    l
    gor
    geous."
    "
    Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngher
    e?"
    "
    Can'
    tIv
    isi
    tmyf
    ami
    l
    ynow?
    "
    Li
    nar olledhereyesmov i
    ngfrom t
    hedoorand
    l
    ethimi n,hi
    sint
    oxicat
    ingscentl
    efther
    paralyzedashewal kedpastherbrushi
    ng
    againstherskin.Withweakknees,shewalked
    behindhi m.
    "
    Yourbr
    otheri
    s-"
    Tendail
    aughedwalki
    ngov
    ertohi
    syounger
    brot
    herthenhuggedhi
    m."
    Lookwhatthecat
    hasdragged.
    "
    Abedi
    l
    elaughedmov
    ingback."
    Sti
    l
    lthesame.
    "
    "
    Youar
    eonbr
    eak?
    "
    "
    YeahandIthoughtwhynotbewi
    thmyf
    ami
    l
    y.I
    missedy
    'al
    l
    !"
    Tendail
    ookedatLi
    na."
    Cany
    oumakeus
    somethi
    ngtoeat?"
    Shenoddedandwalkedt ot
    heki
    tchenthentook
    adeepbreat
    hbefor
    ef i
    nishi
    ngupwithbreakfast
    .
    Shespri
    nkl
    edthewatershehadgottenfrom
    thetr
    adit
    ional
    heal
    erinTendai'
    sfoodandtook
    bothplat
    estothedi
    ningtabl
    ewher eAbedi
    l
    e
    wasseatedbusyonhisphone.
    "
    Wher
    eisy
    ourbr
    other
    ?"
    Heputhisphonedowngi
    vi
    ngheral
    lhi
    s
    att
    ent
    ion."
    Hehasaworkcal
    l.Youl
    ook
    beaut
    if
    ul.
    "
    Li
    nachuckled."
    Thanks.So?Howi
    suhLy
    on
    tr
    eat
    ingyou?"
    "
    Youknowhowfoot
    ball
    clubsar
    e."Heshr
    ugged.
    "
    Themoneyi
    sgood."
    "
    Wher
    eisy
    ourFr
    enchgi
    rl
    fr
    iend?
    "
    Abedi
    l
    elaughedcut
    ely
    ."Webr
    okeup.
    "
    Tendaiwalkedbackandsatdown,Li
    nasi
    ghed
    knowinghehadbeenspeakingwithhi
    s
    gir
    lf
    ri
    end.Shewalkedawayleavi
    ngthebr
    other
    s
    chatt
    ing.
    Herphoner
    angasshewal
    kedi
    nsi
    deher
    bedr
    oom.
    "
    Mama.
    ..
    "
    "
    Itol
    dyoursi
    stert
    ocomet
    her
    e."
    "
    Lonas?
    "
    "Yes.Shewi
    l
    l concei
    vef ory
    ousinceyoucan'
    t.I
    can'twat
    chyourmarriagefall
    apart
    .Lonas
    agreed.
    "
    "
    Mama!
    "
    "
    AndIspoket
    oTendai
    .Heagr
    eed.
    "
    Tearsspi
    l
    ledf
    rom t
    hecorner
    sofherey
    es
    runni
    ngdownhercheeks.
    "
    Mama!
    "
    "Shewil
    lbether
    et oni
    ght.IgaveTendaiher
    number,hewil
    lpickherupf r
    om thebusrank.I
    t
    will
    giv
    ethem ti
    met obond."

    *
    **
    Isteppedoutofthecombiwit
    hMal
    col
    m and
    walkeddownt hestr
    eetwher
    eMapul
    ahad
    dir
    ectedme.
    "Mama,whatt
    imeam Igoi
    ngt
    oMmaK'
    s
    house?
    "
    Ismi
    l
    ed."
    WhenI
    '
    m done.
    "
    "
    Lebot
    hasay
    sshei
    smynewf
    ri
    end.
    "
    "
    Oh?
    "
    "
    Yes.Shepl
    ayswi
    thmebutshei
    sheav
    y."
    Il
    aughed."
    Howdoy
    ouguy
    spl
    ay?
    "
    "Shet
    akesof
    fmypant
    sandherski
    rtt
    hensi
    ts
    onme."
    Ipausedst
    ari
    ngathi
    m asmyhear
    tski
    pped.
    "Shewhat?
    "
    "
    Shei
    sgoi
    ngt
    obuymesweet
    s."
    "
    Nooo.
    ..
    "
    "Shedoesli
    ket
    his.
    ."Hemovedhiswaist."
    And
    shekissedmeli
    ketheydoonTV.Likethis
    mommy …”Mal
    colm st
    uckouthi
    stongue.“Li
    ke
    that
    .”
    Isl
    owl
    yshookmyheadwithtearsinmyey
    es.
    “Howl
    onghasshebeendoingthattoy
    ou?”
    “
    Onl
    yyest
    erday
    .”
    It
    ookoutmyphoneandcal
    l
    edMapul
    a.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi,Iam sorr
    yIam goi
    ngtodel ayabit
    ,Iam
    t
    aki
    ngmysont ot
    hehospi t
    al.Givemeanhour
    ,I
    wi
    ll
    givey ouadi
    scountforcomi ngi
    nlate.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Ihungupandt
    urnedwi
    thMal
    col
    m.
    “
    Wher
    ear
    ewegoi
    ngmommy
    ?”
    “
    Att
    hehospi
    tal
    .”It
    ookoutmyphoneandcal
    l
    ed
    MmaK.
    “
    Eazi
    ,
    ”
    “
    Malcol
    mj usttoldmet haty
    ourgr
    anddaught
    er
    r
    appedhimy esterday
    .”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “Yes.Iam t
    aki
    nghi
    mtothehospi
    tal
    ,di
    dn’
    tyou
    sayLebothawasonARV’
    s?”
    “
    Lebot
    hawoul
    dnev
    err
    apey
    ourson.
    ”
    “
    Mal
    col
    m doesn’
    tli
    e.”
    “I
    sthishowy outhankmef ortaki
    ngcareof
    yoursonall
    thiswhile,
    Ineverdemandedf or
    moneyandt odayyouaccusemygr anddaught
    er
    oftouchi
    ngMal col
    m?I st
    histhethanksIget
    Eazi?
    ”
    “
    Yourgranddaughtertouchedmyson
    i
    nappropr
    iat
    ely!Andshei sHIVposi
    ti
    ve,
    myson
    mightbeinf
    ectedrightnow.”
    “Nev
    erbri
    ngyoursontomyyardeveragai
    n.
    AndLebot
    ha’
    sv i
    rusi
    snolongerdet
    ectabl
    e
    becauseshedr
    inksherpi
    l
    lsaccor
    dingl
    y.
    ”
    Ihungupandgoti
    nthecombi
    .

    *
    **

    Att
    hehospi
    tal
    ,Iwai
    tedshaki
    ngast
    hedoct
    or
    l
    ookedatme.
    “Al
    ri
    ghtEazi,
    wehav
    etest
    edhi
    m andwedi
    dn’
    t
    getanyt
    hing.
    ”
    “
    So?
    ”
    “Youwil
    lhavet
    ocomebackafter3mont
    hs.I
    needyoutoknowthathav
    ingHIVi
    snott
    heend
    oftheworl
    dforhi
    m.”
    “
    Hewasr
    apped.
    ”
    “Theny ouaregoingt
    ohav
    etoopenacase
    againstthegir
    l.
    ”
    Il
    ookedathi
    mtear
    ful
    l
    y.“
    Hergr
    andmot
    heri
    s
    theonethatt
    akescar
    eofMal
    col
    m whenIam
    atwork.
    ”
    “Youhavet
    oputy ourchi
    l
    dfirstsometi
    mes,and
    thatl
    i
    ttl
    egi
    rlneedstobepunished,whati
    fit
    ’s
    notonlyMalcol
    m shedoesitto?”
    At
    earr
    andownmycheek.
    “I
    fMalcolm weremyson, Iwouldbeonmyway
    tothepol
    icestati
    onrightnow,it
    ’snotonly
    younggir
    lswhogetr aped,al
    soy oungboysar e
    atdanger.Wouldyoubest i
    ll
    sitt
    ingther
    ehad
    Malcol
    m beenagi rl
    andgotr apedbya17y ear
    oldboy?”
    Ishookmyhead.
    “Exact
    ly,
    thatshouldbey oursamer eact
    ion,
    boysareasi mport
    antasgi rl
    sandt hesooner
    societ
    yreali
    zesthat,t
    hebet t
    erforevery
    one.I
    am goingtowrit
    ear eportforthepoli
    ce.Andif
    youdon’trepor
    ttheissue,Iam afrai
    dIam
    goingtohav et
    oincludesocialworkers.
    ”
    Minut
    esl
    aterIwal
    kedouthol
    dingMal
    col
    m’s
    hand.
    “
    Mommy
    ,am Igoi
    ngt
    odi
    e?”
    Il
    ookedathi
    m.“
    What
    ?”
    “
    Am Igoi
    ngt
    odi
    e?”
    “
    No,
    whydoy
    ouaskt
    hat
    ?”
    “
    BecauseIwentt
    othehospi
    tal
    andIam si
    ck.
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Youar
    enotsi
    ck.
    ”
    “
    Butt
    hedoct
    ori
    nject
    edme.
    ”
    “Shei
    nject
    edyousot
    hatyoudon’
    tgetsi
    ck.
    That’
    sall
    .Youar
    enotdy
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Butshedi
    dn’
    tinj
    ecty
    ou.
    ”
    “
    BecauseIwasal
    readyi
    nject
    edwhenIwas5
    y
    earsold.
    ”
    Mal
    col
    m smi
    l
    ed.“
    IthoughtIwasdy
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    enot
    .”
    Wepassedaladywhowasselli
    ngsweet
    sas
    Malcol
    mlooked.Iknewhewantedt
    oaskbut
    r
    atherhej
    ustkeptquiet
    .
    “
    Youwantasweet
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lgetonef
    ory
    ou.
    ”
    Iwal
    kedbackt
    othel
    ady
    .
    “
    Dumel
    ang,
    canIhav
    eamonst
    erpop?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Ismil
    edget
    ti
    ngt
    hesweett
    hent
    urnedbackt
    o
    Malcol
    m.
    “
    Mal
    col
    m?”
    Myheartski
    ppedasIlookedaroundnot
    spot
    ti
    nghim any
    where.“Malcol
    m? !
    ”
    Thesweet
    sladyst
    oodupwor
    ri
    edl
    y.
    “
    Wher
    edi
    dhego?
    ”
    Ishookmyheadt
    rembl
    i
    ng.“
    Mal
    col
    m!”
    “
    Mama!
    ”
    It
    urnedandlookedathim acr
    osst
    her
    oad
    st
    andingwithaman.Iranacrosst
    her
    oadand
    pi
    ckedhim upastear
    srandownmycheek.
    “
    Mal
    col
    myoujustdon’
    twal
    kawayf
    rom mama
    l
    i
    ket
    hat
    ?Ok?”
    Hel
    ookedatmesadl
    y.“
    Sor
    rymama.
    ”
    ‘
    That
    ’sbad,
    don’
    tdot
    hat
    .”
    “Myhatfel
    landthewindt
    ooki
    t.Myfr
    iend
    pickedi
    tupforme,hi
    snameisAbe.
    ”
    Isl
    owl
    ytur
    nedt
    othemanandhel
    ookedatme.
    “Maybenextt
    imekeepacloseeyeonhi
    m.A
    carcoul
    dhavehi
    thim orhecoul
    dhavebeen
    stol
    en.
    ”
    “
    Hewant
    edasweetand-
    “
    “
    Andwhat?Youdidn’
    tthi
    nktoholdhishand
    whenget
    ti
    ngthesweet?Heisonly5,nextt
    hing
    youar
    ebusypost
    ingonfacebooklooki
    ngfor
    hi
    my etyoucouldn’
    ttakecareofhi
    m.Oseka
    watogelangwanaogape, (Don’
    tev
    erl
    eavet
    he
    chi
    ldagain,
    )youhearme?”
    Inoddedmaki
    nghi
    mfr
    own.
    “
    Idon’
    tcommuni
    cat
    ewi
    thsi
    gnl
    anguage.
    ”
    “
    Iheary
    ou.
    ”
    Hetur
    nedandwal
    kedbackt
    ohi
    scart
    hen
    dr
    oveoff
    .
    “
    Iam sor
    rymamaImadey
    ousad.
    ”
    “
    Don’
    tdot
    hatagai
    nok?
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Takey
    oursweet
    .”
    Ihandedhimt
    hemonst
    erpopandwat
    chedhi
    m
    happil
    yopeni
    t.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #3

    Ifi
    nishedstr
    aight
    eni
    ngtheweavethehairi
    ron
    andcombedwi t
    hacombt hensmiledl
    ooki
    ngat
    myendr esult
    .Mapulasmil
    edstar
    ingather
    self
    i
    nf r
    ontofthemi r
    ror
    .
    “
    Wow!Youknowy
    ourt
    hing.
    ”
    “
    Thanks.Woul
    dyoul
    i
    kef
    ormet
    odoy
    ourmake
    -
    up?”
    “Uhno,myfr
    iendal
    readyhi
    redsomeonewho
    woulddoourmakeup.ButIwil
    lcal
    lyoui
    fIev
    er
    Ineedamake-upar
    tist
    .”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “Idon’
    thavecash,
    Iwill
    drawthemoney.We
    cangot oget
    her
    .Iwil
    lgoandchange.
    ”
    Shewal
    kedinsi
    dethehouseasIwal
    kedov
    ert
    o
    wher
    eMalcolm waspl
    ayi
    ng.
    “
    Hey
    ,mommyi
    sdone.
    ”
    “
    Arewegoi
    ngt
    oseedaddy
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Hesmi l
    edgetti
    ngup.Mapulawal
    kedout
    minutesl
    atert
    hewegotinhercar.Shedr
    ove
    outasherphonerangconnect
    edtothecar
    ’s
    Bluet
    oothspeaker
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Babe,
    lunch?
    ”
    “No,IwasdoingmyhairandnowIam goi
    ngto
    theATM sothatIcanpaythel
    ady
    .Fr
    om ther
    eI
    havetogoandmeetKel l
    y.
    ”
    “Letmetransf
    ersomemoneyt
    oyou,
    howmuch
    doy ouneed?”
    “
    P8000.Iam al
    readypay
    ingt
    hel
    adywhopl
    ait
    s
    meP2800.”
    “
    Ok,
    Iam sendi
    ngnow,
    howi
    sJuni
    or?
    ”
    Mapulal
    aughed.“Tendaibat
    hong!Wear
    enot
    sur
    eifIam al
    readypregnant
    .”
    “
    Iknowy
    ouar
    e,Icanf
    eel
    it.
    ”
    “
    Okbabydaddy
    .”
    “
    Ilov
    ethesoundoft
    hat
    .Iwi
    l
    lseey
    out
    oni
    ght
    .”
    “
    Ok,
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oobabe.
    ”
    Shehungt henpar
    kedatafil
    li
    ngst
    ati
    on.I
    steppedoutwit
    hMalcol
    m asshewalkedover
    totheATM thenshewalkedbackawhil
    elat
    er
    andhandedmemymoney .
    “
    ThanksEazi
    .”
    “
    Youar
    ewel
    come.
    ”
    ShegotbackinhercarasIputthemoneyinmy
    breastsmi
    l
    ingli
    kearetar
    ded.Godknowsitwas
    alotofmoneyandthemoneyf orgoi
    ngbackto
    schoolwasal
    mostenough.Icoul
    dalready
    smellmydegree.MyphonerangthenI
    answeredhol
    dingMalcol
    m’shand.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Soyouarenowaccusi
    ngmydaught
    erof
    rapi
    ngyourl
    itt
    ledi
    rt
    yboyaf
    terhowmymother
    hasbeenhelpi
    ngyou?”
    “
    Rea,
    yourdaught
    erdefi
    l
    edmyson.Hei
    stoo
    y
    oungtomakethisup.
    ”
    “Youareful
    lofshitEazi
    !Aft
    erever
    ythi
    ngmy
    famil
    ydidforyou,wefedyouwheny ouhad
    nothi
    ng!Igaveyoumycl ot
    hes!Mymot herwas
    yourbabysit
    ter.
    ”
    “Thatdoesn’
    tchangethefactthatLebotha
    rapedMalcol
    m.Ihav en’
    treport
    edbecauseI
    thi
    nkwecansi tdownandt alkaboutthi
    sas
    adult
    sand-“
    “
    Don’tyoucometomyhouse.Idon’
    twantever
    wanttoseeyourdi
    rt
    ychi
    l
    deveragai
    n,youpoor
    peopleyouar ei
    nappreciativ
    e.Youar eful
    lofit,
    I
    wishfornothingbutmi seryinyourl i
    fe.Youtr
    y
    tohelpsomeoneandt henextt hingtheyaccuse
    youofnonsense.Ihopey oursondi es!Nxla.I
    f
    anythi
    nghappenst omydaught er ,
    youar egoing
    toregreti
    t.IhavemoneyandIcanmaket hi
    ngs
    happen.Kidsdisappearev eryday ,
    itwon’tbe
    anythi
    ngnew.Theyar eal way sfounddead.My
    husbandknowspeopl ewhoknowpeopl e.”
    ReahungupasIhel dmyphonet omyhand
    wit
    hmyhear tbeati
    ngsof astitcouldj
    ustleap
    fr
    om mychestandr unoff.Iswallowedhard
    andlookedatMalcolmthent houghtofthe
    doct
    or.Therewasnodoubti nmyheadt hatRea
    wouldhurtmyson.
    “
    Let
    ’sgohome.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    ougoi
    ngt
    owor
    kmama?
    ”
    Il
    ookedathi
    m andshookmyhead.“
    No.
    ”
    *
    **

    AtChoppi es, Ti
    fanolookedaroundhopingto
    seeEazi ’
    sf ace,i
    tst i
    l
    lfel
    tli
    keajokethatshe
    wasnev ercomingback.Hewasal readyused
    toseeingherbeaut if
    ulsmil
    eandhear i
    ngher
    softvoice.Acol leaguewalkedovertohim.
    “Sheisnotcoming.It
    hinkMr .y
    ouknowwho
    wantedtosleepwithherthensher
    efused.You
    knowhowhei s.
    ”
    “
    Iknow,shewoul
    dnev
    erdowhatshef
    eel
    sis
    wrong.
    ”
    “
    Youl
    oveherdon’
    tyou?
    ”
    Tif
    anosighedwalki
    ngoutoftheshopwi
    ththe
    col
    league.“
    Idon’
    tknow,Icar
    eabouther
    .Iwil
    l
    seeyoutomorrow.”
    “
    Sur
    e!”
    Ti
    fanowal
    kedt
    othebusst
    opt
    aki
    ngouthi
    s
    phonethinkingofcal
    l
    ingherbutthenthought
    ofjustgoingtoseeherthoughheknewhe
    couldn’
    tjustgoemptyhanded.Hewal kedback
    i
    nt hestore,pi
    ckedacoupleofthings,
    paidt
    hen
    walkedouthol di
    ngpl
    asti
    cbags.Hi sphonerang
    thenhehel dallt
    hepl
    asti
    cbagsi nhisonehand
    andanswer ed.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    T,wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Iam goi
    ngt
    oseeaf
    ri
    end.
    ”
    “
    Who?
    ”
    “
    Eazi
    .
    ”
    Hi
    sbr
    otherpaused.“
    Thebeaut
    if
    ulcashi
    er?
    ”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    “
    Thatgi
    rli
    snoty
    ourt
    ype,
    youknowt
    hatr
    ight
    ?”
    “
    Youdon’
    tknowwhohert
    ypei
    s.”
    “
    Ido,
    andi
    t’
    snoty
    ou.Idon’
    twantt
    oseey
    ou
    breakingyourownheart.Yesnowshemaylook
    atyoubecauseshei ssti
    lli
    nthesamel
    evelas
    youbutonceshemeet st hosewi
    thmoney,
    she
    willf
    orgetyoueverexi
    sted.”
    Ti
    fanosi
    ghed.“
    Eazi
    isnotVanessa.
    ”
    “Youwillneverknow.Idon’
    twantyoutoget
    heart
    brokenandt ryki
    ll
    i
    ngyoursel
    f.Thi
    swoul
    d
    kil
    lmama. ”
    “Iknow,youshoul
    dstopworr
    yingaboutme,
    I
    don’twantarel
    ati
    onshi
    pfr
    om Eazi.
    ”
    “
    Ify
    ousayso.Justbecar
    eful
    .”
    “
    Wewi
    l
    ltal
    k.”
    Tif
    anost oppedataxiandgotin.Awhi l
    elater
    hepaidst eppi
    ngoutwiththeshoppingbags
    andwal kedinsi
    deheryard.Hi
    shear tst
    arted
    poundingev enmoreasheappr oachedthenhe
    knocked.
    *
    **

    Insidethehouse,
    Malcolmlookedathis
    sleepingmotherwhi
    leplayi
    ngwithherphone
    thenlookedatthedoor.Hewalkedoverand
    openedt hedoorandsmiledathi
    smot her
    ’s
    fri
    end.
    “
    HiMal
    c…”
    “
    Mamai
    ssl
    eepi
    ng.
    ”
    Ti
    fanosmi
    l
    ed.“
    Ok,
    goandwakeherup.
    ”
    Malcol
    m wal
    kedov
    ert
    ohi
    smot
    herandshook
    her
    .
    “
    Mama…”
    “
    Mal
    col
    mletmesl
    eep.
    ”
    “
    Yourf
    ri
    endi
    sher
    e.”
    Isl
    owlyopenedmyeyesandlookedatthewi
    de
    opendoor.Ti
    fanosmi
    ledt
    henIquickl
    ygotof
    f
    bedandwalkedoutclosi
    ngthedoorbehi
    ndme
    sothathedoesn’
    tseeinsi
    dethehouse.
    “
    HiT,
    ”
    “
    Hey
    ,howar
    eyou?
    ”
    Shesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Iam f
    ine.
    ”
    “
    Youl
    osty
    ourj
    ob,
    youcan’
    tbef
    ine.
    ”
    “
    Myemoti
    onswon’
    tchangeany
    thi
    ng.I
    sthat
    whyy
    oucametoseeme?Youdidn’
    thaveto.
    ”
    “
    Iwant
    edt
    o.Ibr
    oughty
    ouacoupl
    eoft
    hings.
    ”
    Ilookedatt
    heplast
    ics.“
    Tif
    ano,
    youdon’
    thav
    e
    tobuymeany t
    hing.
    ”
    “
    Takei
    tasat
    hanky
    ougi
    ftf
    orbei
    ngmyf
    ri
    end.
    ”
    “
    Ifeel
    badt
    aki
    ngt
    hatf
    rom y
    ou.
    ”
    “I
    t’
    snothi
    ng,j
    ustsnacks.
    ”Heputt
    hepl
    ast
    ics
    onherdoorst
    ep.“ForMalcol
    m.By
    eEazi
    .”
    Hewalkedawaywi
    thapoundi
    nghear
    tthen
    t
    urnedandsmil
    edwat
    chi
    nghertaket
    he
    pl
    ast
    ics.

    *
    **

    AtMmaK’shouse,
    Lebot
    hat
    ear
    ful
    l
    ylookedat
    hermot
    her
    .
    “
    Idi
    dthatt
    ohi
    m,am Igoi
    ngt
    ojai
    l
    ?”
    “No.Youwouldnevergotoj
    ailf
    orsuch.You
    arebothunder
    age,
    y ouar
    ekids.
    ”
    “
    Iam scar
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Don’
    tbe.Noonei
    sgoi
    ngt
    ojai
    l
    .”
    “Iwantt
    oapologizetoAunt
    yEazi,sheal
    ways
    doesmyhairwithoutcompl
    ainsandforfr
    ee.
    WhatIdidi
    swr ong.”
    “Youdon’thav
    et oapol
    ogizetoher.Youowe
    hernothi
    ng.Fi
    nishpacki
    ngy ourbags,wear
    e
    goinghome.”
    “
    Wil
    lhebei
    nfect
    ed?
    ”
    “
    No,
    ther
    eisnosucht
    hing.
    ”
    “ButIdidn’
    tuseacondom.Theonl
    yreasonI
    diditi
    sbecausenoonewantstodatemeat
    schoolbecauseIhav
    eHIV.Idon’
    thavefr
    iends,
    theyteaseme.”
    “
    That
    ’syouaret
    ransf
    err
    ing.Youar
    ecomi
    ng
    wi
    thme.Fini
    shpacki
    ng.
    ”
    Reawalkedoutandt
    ookherphonet
    hencal
    l
    ed
    herhusband.
    “
    Kabel
    o,Iam comi
    ngbackwi
    thLebot
    ha.
    ”
    “
    Whatdoyoumean?Di
    dn’tweagreethatshe
    woul
    dst
    aywit
    hyourmothert
    here?”
    “
    Iwantust
    ostaywit
    hhersothatshecanget
    t
    oknowhersi
    bli
    ngsbet
    ter
    .”
    “Ican’
    ttakecareofanextr
    achil
    d.Iam al
    ready
    strai
    ned.Thehouseisal
    readysmallf
    orus.Let
    herstaywithhergr
    andmother.
    ”
    Kabel
    ohungupbef
    oreshecoul
    dsayany
    thi
    ng
    el
    se.

    *
    **

    Laterint heevening,Linawai t
    edforhersisterat
    busr ank.Shest oodanxi ouslywithoutj
    acket
    feel
    ingt hecoldbr eezehitherskin.Thebus
    soondr ov eoverandpar ked, t
    hepassenger s
    gotoutwhi l
    eLinal ookedoutf orLonas.Atlast
    ,
    heryoungersi stersteppedoutwi t hher
    earphonesi nherear shol di
    ngherphone.Lonas
    spottedLi naandsi ghedget t
    ingherbagt hen
    walkedov ert
    ohersi ster.
    “
    Lina…”
    “
    Iwanty
    out
    ogobackwi
    tht
    heni
    ghtbus.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Youhear
    dme.
    ”
    “Iam notgoi
    ngany
    wher
    e.Mamasai
    dIshoul
    d
    comeher e.
    ”
    “Tosleepwithmyhusband?LonasIwi
    l
    lki
    l
    lyou
    befor
    et hatevenhappens.
    ”
    “Iam nottheonewhoi sinf
    ert
    il
    e!May beifyou
    couldhavekidst henyouwouldn’tneedat hi
    rd
    part
    yiny ourmar ri
    age.Tendaij
    usttextedme,
    hesaidyouwi l
    lbr i
    ngmehome.Nki selapeng,
    ketswereket l
    ala.(Takemehome, Iam
    hungry.
    )”
    Li
    nabreat
    hedheav
    il
    yst ari
    ngatherfi
    ghti
    ngt
    he
    edget
    opunchherbreakingal
    lherteet
    h.
    “
    Iam t
    ell
    i
    nghi
    mthaty
    our
    efused.
    ”
    “
    LonasIam y
    ourol
    dersist
    er,
    arey
    our
    eal
    l
    yher
    e
    t
    obreakmymarri
    age?”
    “
    Iam her
    etohel
    pyousi
    ncey
    ouhav
    efai
    l
    ed.
    ”
    Linal
    osti
    tandsl
    appedheracr
    osstheface.
    “Youaref
    ull
    ofyour
    sel
    f.Youdon’
    tknowanyone
    expectme.
    ”Li
    nasnat
    chedt
    hephonef
    rom her
    .
    “Let
    ’sseewherey
    ouaregoi ngtosl
    eep,maybe
    thepoli
    cest
    ati
    on…Idon’tknow.Menare
    l
    urki
    nghere,l
    ooki
    ngforpreyli
    keyou.Thi
    sis
    notGhanzi
    .”
    Lonaslookedathert
    ear
    ful
    l
    y.“Iam nother
    eto
    fi
    ghtyou,Ij
    ustcametodowhatIwast ol
    dtodo.
    Idon’
    twantobr eaky
    ourmarr
    iage.
    ”
    “
    Ify
    ouarenotheret
    obreakmymar
    ri
    age,
    then
    t
    aketheni
    ghtbusandgoback.
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    twantt
    ogot
    oGhanzi
    .”
    “
    Theny
    ouwi
    l
    lseey
    our
    sel
    f.
    ”
    “Iam goi
    ngtotel
    lthem IknowTendai
    att
    he
    poli
    cestat
    ion.
    ”
    “Tendaiismyhusband,
    that
    ’swhyhesentme
    tocomeandgety ou.Hedoesn’twantyou.I
    fhe
    did,hewouldbeheresoIam goingtot
    ellhi
    m
    your ef
    usedtocomeandranoffwi t
    hyour
    boy
    fri
    end.Iwi
    l
    lal
    sot
    ell
    mamat
    hesamet
    hing.
    ”
    Li
    nawalkedawayasLonasf
    oll
    owedaf
    terher
    dr
    aggi
    ngherbag.
    “
    Lina,
    giv
    emebackmyphone.
    ”
    Shegotinhercarwat
    chingLonasdr
    aggingher
    heav
    ybaganddr oveoffl
    eavi
    ngheratbusrank.
    Herphonerang.
    “
    Babe?
    ”
    “
    Didy
    ougether
    ?”
    “Lonaswentwithherboy
    fri
    end.Icoul
    dn’
    tsay
    anythi
    ngbecausesheisnowagr ownwoman.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Tendaihungupt henst
    eppedontheacceler
    ator
    andspedbackhome.Mi nut
    esl
    atershedrove
    thr
    ought heyar
    dandsighednotseeingTendai
    ’s
    caranywhere.Abe’sgr
    ayRS7pull
    edupbeside
    hercarasshesteppedoutthenshelookedat
    him get
    ti
    ngout.
    “
    Hi,
    isTendai
    in?
    ”
    “
    No.Hei
    swi
    thhi
    sgi
    rl
    fr
    iend.
    ”
    Abef
    rowned.“
    What
    ?”
    “
    Yourbr
    otheri
    scheat
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Tendai
    doesn’
    tcheat
    .”
    “
    Hedoesnow.Hewant
    sachi
    l
    dbuthei
    s
    i
    nfer
    ti
    le.
    ”
    Abest
    eppedback.“
    Hei
    s?”
    “Yes.Buthedoesn’
    tknowthi
    sormaybehe
    doesbutdoesn’twantt
    oaccepti
    t.
    ”
    “
    Howl
    onghashebeencheat
    ing?
    ”
    “Isuspecteditforawhil
    enowbutIt hi
    nkfor
    threemont hsnow.Yourbrotheri
    sgoi ngto
    divorcemeAbe.Il ovehi
    m somuch, Idon’
    t
    wantt olosemyf amil
    y.
    ”Tearsfil
    ledhereyes.“
    I
    hav enowr esor
    tedtogett
    inghelpfrom
    tradit
    ionalheal
    ers.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry,
    Iwi
    l
    ltal
    ktohi
    m.”
    “Hewon’tl
    ist
    entoy
    ou.Ij
    ustwantababy
    .I
    needyourhel
    p.”
    “
    Wit
    hwhat
    ?”
    “
    Yourkidsar
    egoodasTendai’
    s.Youcanget
    mepregnant
    .Hedoesn’
    thavetoknow.Iknow
    t
    hemomentIgetpregnant
    ,hewill
    comeback
    t
    ome.”
    “
    Arey
    ouf
    ucki
    ngki
    ddi
    ngmer
    ightnow?
    ”
    “
    Iam desper
    ate!
    ”
    “
    Andyout
    hinkhewon’
    tev
    erf
    indoutt
    hatIsl
    ept
    wi
    thhi
    swi
    fe?”
    “Thi
    sishowt radit
    ionusedt
    owor kl
    ongback.
    Mymot herisbringingmysi
    steri
    nmyhouseto
    getpregnant
    !Iam desperat
    e!”
    “
    Ican’
    t.
    ”
    “Abe…pl
    ease.Iam beggi
    ngy
    ou.Doi
    tfory
    our
    brot
    her
    .”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #4

    Abelookedatherser
    iousfaceandchuckl
    ed
    shaki
    nghisheadhopingmay beshewouldjust
    tel
    lhi
    m whatajokeshewasspi l
    li
    ngbutLina
    kepthereyesonhim,beggi
    nghim.
    “
    No.
    ”
    “
    Abe…”
    “No,youar emybrother
    ’swi
    fe.Ican’tsl
    eepwi
    th
    mybr other’
    swi
    fe,Idon’
    tevenfindyou
    attr
    acti
    vebecauseyouar emybr ot
    her’s
    propert
    y .
    ”
    “Iam notaskingy outof i
    ndmeat tracti
    ve,Ij
    ust
    needy outohelpme.Tohel py ourbrother
    becausehei sgoingt oleavemeandgot ohis
    side,
    sheisgoi ngt oreali
    zetheproblem ishi
    m
    andshewi l
    lgeti mpregnatedbysomeoneel se
    andher ai
    sesomeone’ schil
    d.Isthatwhaty ou
    want?It’
    sbetterher aisesyourchil
    dbecause
    yourchil
    disst i
    ll
    hischi l
    deitherway .
    ”
    “Iam notsleepi
    ngwithyou.Orget
    ti
    ngyou
    pregnant.Iwanttohavekidswi
    ththewomanI
    l
    ov eandit’snotyou.
    ”
    “
    Abe…”
    “
    Tel
    lhi
    m Icameby
    .By
    e.”
    “
    Abewai
    t…”
    Hegoti nhiscaranddroveoff.Her ubbedhi
    s
    eyesstil
    lnotabletobeli
    evewhathadj ust
    happened,thedesperati
    oninherey eshadbeen
    toomuch, heactuall
    yfel
    tsorr
    yf orherbut
    sleepi
    ngwi t
    hherwasnotsomet hinghewas
    goingtodo.Notaf
    teral
    lhisbr
    otherhaddone
    forhim.Hedrovet
    othelodgehehadchecked
    i
    nandsatont hebedstar
    ingathisleg
    moment ar
    il
    ythent
    ookhisphoneandcalleda
    forei
    gnnumber.
    “
    Aya…”
    Ay
    apaused.“
    Abe?
    ”
    “
    Yeah,
    Iar
    ri
    vedsaf
    ely
    .”
    “That’
    sgood.Iam reallysorryf
    orj
    ustbr
    eaking
    withyouli
    kethis.Il
    ovey oubutIcan’
    tmastera
    l
    ongdi st
    ancerelati
    onshipnorcanImoveto
    Afri
    ca,mycareerhasj usttakenof
    f.
    ”
    “I
    t’
    sok.Iexpect
    edi
    t.NowIj
    usthav
    etol
    eti
    t
    si
    nk.”
    “Iam sorry.Iam sureyourfami l
    yishappyt o
    seey ou.Ihav etogo,Iwil
    lalway sloveyou
    babe.”Shehungupt henhet hrewhi mselfon
    hisbedcl osinghiseyes.Forthef i
    rstt
    imehe
    actuall
    yquest ionedhi
    slif
    edeci si
    ons.Hesmi led
    thi
    nkingoftheconversati
    onhehadwi t
    hthekid
    earl
    ieron.Hetookhisphoneanddi al
    edthe
    numbert heboyhadgi v
    enhim si
    tt
    ingupright
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    Hesmiledrememberi
    ngt
    hev oi
    ce.“
    Am I
    speaki
    ngtoMalcol
    m’smother?
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    whoi
    sthi
    s?”
    “
    It
    ’sAbe,
    ifhei
    sst
    il
    lawake,
    canIt
    alkt
    ohi
    m?”
    “
    Howdi
    dyougetmynumber
    ?”
    “
    Hegaveittometocall
    y ouear
    li
    eronincase
    wedi
    dn’
    tfindyouaf
    teryounegl
    ectedhim.”
    “
    Idi
    dn’
    tnegl
    ecthi
    m.”
    “Yesy
    oudid.Iam notdi
    scussi
    ngt
    hatwi
    thy
    ou,
    canIt
    alkt
    ohim? ”
    “Idon’
    twantmysonmaki ngf r
    iendswit
    hpeopl
    e
    hebar el
    yknows.Iam gr
    ateful
    foryour
    presenceearl
    i
    eronbutIcan’tyoulety
    ouget
    closetomyson.Idon’tevenknowwhoy ou
    ar
    e.”
    “
    Under
    standabl
    e,butIj
    ustwantt
    osayhi
    .”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    ltel
    lhi
    myoucal
    l
    ed.By
    e.”
    Shehungt
    henhel
    ookedathi
    sphonewi
    tha
    smil
    e.

    *
    **

    Thefoll
    owi
    ngmor ni
    ng, t
    hedoctordi
    schar
    ged
    Moemedi t
    henhewal kedoutofMari
    nat othe
    busstopwhereheplacedhisbagdownand
    cal
    ledhisf
    ather
    .
    “
    Papa,
    didy
    oumanage?
    ”
    “Iam st
    il
    l l
    ooki
    ngforabuyerfort
    hecowbutthe
    moneyisbar el
    yenough.Ihadameetingwi
    th
    youruncles,noonei
    swi l
    li
    ngtohelpy
    oubutlet
    meseei fthecowisgoingtogetsomeoneto
    buyit
    .”
    “
    Ok,
    thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “Don’
    tthankmey et.Iam sell
    ingitf
    orsi
    ck
    money.It’
    snotevenenough.Youneedt oget
    yourmoneyfrom theChinesebecausetherei
    s
    nowayy oucanmar rywithlessthanP2000.
    ”
    “
    Ihav
    ebeendi
    schar
    ged,
    Iam goi
    nghomenow.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hisfat
    herhungupt henacombi st
    oppedin
    fr
    ontofhim.Theconduct orr anoverandhelped
    hi
    mi nsi
    dethenthecombi drov eoff
    .Awhile
    l
    aterhewaswal ki
    nginsidet hey ar
    d,heknocked
    onthedoorli
    steni
    ngt oEazi laughwithMalcolm
    i
    nsidethehouse.Iopenedt hedoorandsmi l
    ed.
    “
    Babe!
    ”
    “
    Dad!
    ”
    Hehuggedmeki
    ssi
    ngmyl
    i
    pst
    henr
    ubbedhi
    s
    son’
    shead.
    “
    Iam backnow.
    ”
    Il
    aughed.“Iam sohappy
    .YouknowIhavebeen
    wait
    ingforacallf
    rom mymother
    .Iknowsheis
    goi
    ngt ocall
    .”
    Moemedismi
    led.“
    Ican’twai
    ttoobabe.
    ”He
    l
    ookedatt
    hegrocer
    y.“Youal
    readybought
    gr
    ocery
    ?”
    Il
    ookedathi
    m andsmil
    ed.“No,
    af r
    iendofmi
    ne
    dr
    oppedthi
    sby.Afri
    endfr
    om work.”
    “
    Who?
    ”
    “
    Tif
    ano.
    ”
    “
    Tif
    anowasher
    e?”
    Inodded.“
    Yes.Il
    ostmyj
    ob.
    ”
    Moemedi
    lookedatt
    hegr
    ocer
    y.“
    When?
    ”
    “Yester
    day
    .Igotacal
    labouty
    ouwhileatwor
    k
    andansweredit
    .Thecust
    omerlosti
    tandIl
    ost
    myj ob.
    ”
    “Eazihowcoul
    dyoul
    osey
    ourj
    obwhenwe
    badlyneedi
    t?”
    “
    Whatdidyouwantmet
    odo?Tosl
    eepwi
    thmy
    manager
    ?”
    Hepausedst
    ari
    ngatme.“
    Hewant
    edt
    osl
    eep
    wi
    thyou?”
    “
    Yes.Ir
    efusedandIl
    ostt
    hej
    ob.
    ”
    “Youshoul dpleadyourcasetothe
    shareholdersofChoppies,hecan’
    tjustf
    ir
    eyou.
    That’snothiscompany .
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sal
    readydone.
    ”
    “Noit
    ’snotbecausenowy
    oubr
    ingment
    omy
    house.
    ”
    Il
    ookedathi
    m.“Idi
    dn’
    tbr
    ingTi
    fanoher
    e,he
    cameonhisown.”
    “
    Becausey
    oushowedhi
    m wher
    eyoust
    ay.
    ”
    Isteppedbackasheadv ancedt ome.He
    turnedthengrabbedthepl
    asticswithhi
    sone
    handandwal kedwithever
    ythingoutsi
    de.I
    stoodbyt hewindowwatchinghim spi
    ll
    ev
    erythi
    nginthebint
    hensatont
    hebed.
    Malcolmlookedatme.
    “
    Isdaddyangr
    y?”
    “
    Yes.Don’
    tsayany
    thi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Ishegoi
    ngt
    obeaty
    ouagai
    n?”
    “
    No.Don’
    tsayt
    hingsl
    i
    ket
    hat
    .”
    Moemediwalkedbacki
    nsidet
    hehouseand
    l
    ookedatme.“Idon’
    twanttoheart
    hathecame
    her
    eeveragai
    n.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hesighedst
    ari
    ngatme.“ IknowIam nott
    hat
    r
    ichbabebutIam t
    ryi
    ng.Noneedt omakeme
    f
    eelsmallwi
    thyourcol
    leagues.
    ”
    “
    Idi
    dn’
    tdot
    hat
    .Hej
    ustcame.
    ”
    “
    Youshoul
    dhav
    eref
    used.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lref
    usenextt
    ime.Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    Hesatbesi
    deher
    .“Mal
    col
    m,goandpl
    ay
    out
    side.
    ”
    Mal
    col
    m wor
    ri
    edl
    ylookedatme.
    “
    GoandplayMal
    c.Take,
    ”Igav
    ehi
    m myphone.
    “
    Playgames.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hetookt
    hephoneandwalkedout
    side.
    Moemedil
    ookedatherme.
    “Iwouldneverl
    aymyhandsony ouagainbabe,
    Ithoughtwewerepastt
    hat.Iam notev
    en
    drinki
    ngal
    coholany
    more.”
    “
    Iknow.
    ”
    “Ispoket oThato.TheChineseapparent
    ly
    doesn’tli
    kehowwedi dtheceil
    ingsowehav e
    tore-doitbeforehegivesusourmoney .But
    nowwi t
    hmybr okenar
    m, t
    hereisnothi
    ngIcan
    do.Wear eonlygoingt
    obegi venthemoney
    oncet hejobisdone.”
    “
    When?
    ”
    “
    Iam notsur
    ebutsoon.
    ”
    Inodded.“
    It
    ’sok.
    ”
    “Iwast hinki
    ngweuset hemoneyy ousavedto
    paythebr i
    depri
    cethenIwil
    lrepl
    aceitonceI
    getpaid.Iam expecti
    ngmor ethanP10K.Iput
    theti
    lesal oneandThatosai
    dhedi dn’
    t
    compl ainaboutthat
    .”
    Il
    ookedi
    nhi
    sey
    es.“
    Ok.
    ”
    Moemedihuggedmet
    ight
    ly.“
    Ilov
    eyouso
    muchbabe.
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”

    *
    **

    Atbusr ank,Lonasslowlyopenedherey esand


    stretched.Shest oodupt r
    yingtostr
    etchher
    achingbody .Shehadn’tsl
    eptthatmuchduet o
    fear.Shest oodupandwal kedoutsi
    dewi t
    hher
    hugebagtaki
    ngoutafewcoinsf
    rom her
    pocketandwentt
    otheladywhosel
    l
    sai r
    ti
    me.
    “Dumelang,canIpl
    easeusey
    ourphonet
    ocal
    l
    ?
    Iwil
    lpay.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Theladyhandedhert
    hephonet
    henshedi
    aled
    hermother’
    snumber.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    MamaLi
    naleftmeatbusrankal
    oneaf
    ter
    t
    aki
    ngmyphonefr
    om me.”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “Isl
    epttherel
    astni
    ght
    .Shesai
    dshewoul dn’
    t
    l
    etmedest royhermar
    ri
    ageaft
    erIexpl
    ainedto
    herthatIwouldnev
    erhur
    therordest
    royher
    marriage.
    ”
    “
    Ok,l
    etmecallher.Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lyouback.Thatgi
    rl
    i
    sful
    lofher
    sel
    f.”
    Hermot
    herhungupt
    henshehandedt
    hephone
    backt
    oget
    herwi
    tht
    hecoi
    ns.
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Herstomachmadeasoundt henshesighed
    tearf
    ull
    y.ShehadneverbeentoGaborone
    beforeandherfi
    rstni
    ghthadbeenspentinthe
    waiti
    ngroom.Theai r
    ti
    melady’
    sphoner ang
    thenshehandedittoLonas.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Ispoket
    oTendai
    .Hei
    scomi
    ngt
    opi
    cky
    ou
    up.”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.Iam sohungr
    y.”
    “Youbett
    erbeagoodgi rl
    ther
    e.Idon’
    twantto
    hearstor
    ies.Youarenott
    heretofi
    ghtwi
    thyour
    sist
    erbuttojusthel
    pher.
    ”
    “
    Iknow.
    ”
    “Bye.Goandwai
    tbyt
    hef
    il
    li
    ngst
    ati
    ont
    her
    e,
    Shell
    .”
    Lonasgav
    ebackt
    hephoneanddr
    aggedher
    bagt othefil
    l
    ingstati
    onshesawlastnightand
    stoodthere.Minuteslat
    eracardroveoverto
    her,Tendaisteppedoutinhi
    ssmar tcasual
    cl
    othesl ooki
    ngsexyasev er
    .Lonassmi l
    ed.
    “
    Lonas…”
    “
    Tendai
    ,thanky
    ouf
    orcomi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Ican’
    tbel
    i
    eveLi
    nal
    efty
    ouher
    eal
    one.
    ”
    “
    Shewant
    edmet
    ogoback.
    ”
    “
    Iam real
    l
    ysorr
    y.”Heputt
    hebagi
    ntheboot
    .“I
    wi
    ll
    takeyouhome.”
    Theybothgoti nt hecarthenTendai droveher
    backhomeasshesatcomf ortabl
    yont hef ront
    seat
    .God, t
    hiswast helif
    e!Shesmi l
    edst aring
    atGabor
    one.Mi nuteslaterTendaiparkedt he
    carandsteppedoutwi thher.Theygoti nthe
    houseashecal ledLi na.Shecamedownst ai r
    s
    andpausedst aringatLonas.
    “
    LinaIt
    houghty
    ousai
    dsher
    anof
    fwi
    thher
    boy
    fri
    end.
    ”
    “
    Shedi
    d.”
    Lonasl
    aughedwi
    thdi
    sbel
    i
    ef.“
    Youar
    ely
    ing.
    ”
    “Whywoul dIli
    e?Itdidn’tworkout
    ?Itol
    dy ou
    didn’
    tI?Babethanksf ortaki
    ngher,Iwi
    l
    ltake
    careofherfrom here.”
    Tendail
    ookedatthesi
    ster
    sforawhi
    l
    eand
    walkedout
    .Linasmil
    ed.
    “
    Iam sur
    pri
    sedt
    heydi
    dn’
    tki
    l
    lyou.
    ”
    Lonassmi l
    edback.“Nowwat chmet akeover
    thi
    splace.Iam goingtogivehi
    m abeauti
    ful
    chil
    d.Ifyouputyourhandsonme, Iam
    report
    ingyoutothepolice.
    ”
    “
    Youwi
    l
    lnev
    erbemysi
    ster
    .”
    “Justbecausewedon’tsharethesamemother
    doesn’tmeanwear enotsist
    ers.Wesharet
    he
    samebl oodLina.Pl
    easeshowmemyr oom.”
    *
    **

    Abedressedupandwal
    kedoutofthel
    odge.He
    goti
    nhiscarandcal
    l
    edhisf
    ather
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Papa,
    It’
    sAbe.
    ”
    Hi
    sfat
    herl
    aughed.“
    Frenchboy
    .”
    Abel
    augheddr
    ivi
    ngof
    f.“
    Papaweh!
    ”
    “
    Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngher
    e?”
    “
    Iam onbr
    eak.
    "
    "
    Howi
    syourl
    eg?
    ”
    “I
    tsf
    inenow.Therear
    eafewthingsIwantt
    o
    dowhil
    ehere.Iwantt
    otal
    ktoyou.”
    “
    Aboutwhat
    ?”
    “Lastni
    ghtLi
    nat
    oldmesomet
    hing.Tendai
    is
    cheati
    ng.”
    “
    Cheat
    ing?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Acheati
    ngmanwi l
    lneveramounttoanythi
    ng.
    Moneymustbeget t
    ingtohishead.Inev
    er
    cheatonyourmotherbecausether
    eisnothi
    ng
    wrongwithonl
    ylovi
    ngonewoman. ”
    “Yesbutt
    hereasonhei
    scheat
    ingi
    sbecause
    hewantsachi
    ld.
    ”
    “
    Linai
    sthepr
    obl
    em?
    ”
    “No,
    it’
    shi
    m.Shesuspectshedoesn’
    tknowitor
    hedoesandhei
    sindenial.Shewant
    smet o
    i
    mpregnat
    eherf
    orhim.”
    “Well,t
    hatmet hodusedtowor klongago,i
    twas
    howcul tur
    eusedt owork.Ifyourbrot
    her
    couldn’
    tdoi t
    ,youcouldhelphim.Orifthe
    problem wasLi na,
    hersi
    stercouldhelp.
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    twantt
    osleepwit
    hLi
    na.Tendai
    isgoi
    ng
    t
    oleav
    eLinaf
    orhissi
    deandthewomanwill
    get
    someonet
    oimpr
    egnat
    eher
    .”
    “Ithi
    nkyoushouldcomedownher eandl etus
    discussthi
    sissueasafami
    l
    y ,Iwil
    lcall
    your
    unclesbutbeforeIev
    endothat,wouldyouhelp
    yourbrot
    her?”
    “Idon’
    twanttogobehindhi
    sbackandbetray
    him.Ijustwantust
    otell
    him hecan’
    thav
    e
    kids.
    ”
    “
    Thatwi
    l
    lbr
    eakhi
    m.”
    “
    Thet
    rut
    hwi
    l
    lal
    way
    shur
    t.
    ”
    “I
    tdependsonwhi chki ndoftr
    uth.Comeover
    andwewi l
    ldiscussthis.”Hesloweddown
    passi
    ngabusst opt hencaughtagl i
    mpseof
    Malcol
    m’smot her.Hest oppedhiscaront
    he
    busstopthensteppedout .
    “
    Papawewi
    l
    ltal
    k,Ihav
    etogo.
    ”
    “
    Shar
    p.”
    Hehungupwal
    ki
    ngov
    ert
    ome.It
    urnedt
    ohi
    m
    andf
    rowned.
    “
    Hi,
    rememberme?
    ”
    “
    Pleasegoaway
    .”
    “
    Thi
    sisaf
    reewor
    ld.Icanst
    andher
    eifIwant
    .”
    Imovedfrom him maki
    nghiml
    augh.“
    Okok…
    sor
    ry.CanIgi
    v eyouali
    ft?
    ”
    “
    No.
    ”
    “Comeon…letmegi
    veyouali
    ft,
    Idon’
    tbi
    te.”
    Hetookmyhandandpul
    ledmetothecarthen
    openedt
    hedoorf
    orme.“Geti
    n.”
    Irel
    uct
    antl
    ygotinhisl
    ushcart
    henhewal
    ked
    roundandjumpedin.
    “
    Hi,
    Iam Abe,
    what
    ’sy
    ourname?
    ”
    “
    Eazi
    .
    ”
    “
    Eazi
    ?Asi
    nMr
    .Eazi
    ?”
    Inodded.
    “
    Wow,
    whataname.Wher
    ear
    eyougoi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Tot
    hebank.
    ”
    Abel
    ookedatmybi
    gbag.“
    Andt
    hat
    ?”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Thebag,
    youar
    egoi
    ngt
    otakemoney
    ?”
    “
    That
    ’snoty
    ourbusi
    ness.
    ”
    “Iam t
    ryi
    ngt
    omakeaconv
    ersat
    ionher
    eEazi
    ,
    helpmeout.
    ”
    “
    Iam goi
    ngt
    odr
    awmoney
    .”
    “
    Mustbeal
    otf
    ory
    out
    akesuchabi
    gbag.
    ”
    Inoddedstar
    ingoutoft
    hewindow.Abel
    ooked
    atme.“Yoursoncall
    edmeyester
    day.
    ”
    Il
    ookedathi
    m.“
    What
    ?”
    “Yeah.Heissmart.Hesai
    ddaddywasback.
    Youar emarr
    ied?
    ”
    “
    Aboutt
    obe.
    ”
    Hi
    sey
    eswentt
    omybar
    efi
    nger
    s.
    “
    Hei
    sgoi
    ngt
    opaymybr
    idepr
    ice.
    ”
    “
    OhIsee,wi
    ththemoneyy
    ouar
    egoi
    ngt
    otake
    f
    rom t
    hebank.Hi
    smoney?
    ”
    “
    Mysav
    ings.
    ”
    Abechuckl
    ed.“
    Wai
    t,y
    ouar
    emar
    ryi
    ng
    your
    sel
    f?”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #5

    Il
    ookedathi
    m.“
    No.Iam bor
    rowi
    nghi
    m.”
    “
    Arey
    ouser
    iousr
    ightnow?
    ”
    “
    Dropmeont
    henextbusst
    op.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    eser
    iousl
    ymar
    ryi
    ngy
    our
    sel
    f?”
    Ii
    gnor
    edhi
    mlooki
    ngahead.
    “
    Whyborrowhim money
    ?Amanwhowant
    sto
    mar
    ryhasenoughmoneytodoi
    t.
    ”
    “
    Notev
    erymani
    sthatman.
    ”
    “ArealmanisthemanIam tal
    ki
    ngabout
    .How
    doyoubor r
    owhim moneytomarr
    yyouunless
    hedoesn’twantt
    omarryyouandyou
    suggest
    edit.”
    “
    Dropmeof
    f,y
    ouar
    epassi
    ngt
    hebusst
    op.
    ”
    Abel
    ockedal
    lthedoor
    sst
    il
    ldr
    ivi
    ng.“
    Youar
    e
    marr
    yingy
    our
    self?
    ”
    “
    Cany
    oudr
    opmeof
    f?”
    “No.Iam t
    aki
    ngyoutoyourbank.Idon’
    t
    underst
    andEazi
    ,whywouldyougivehim
    moneyt omarr
    yyou?”
    “
    Idon’
    toweyouanyexpl
    anati
    on,pl
    easedr
    op
    meoff
    .Idon’
    tfeel
    comfor
    tabl
    e.”
    Heshookhi
    shead.“That
    ’sadumpmov
    eyou
    ar
    emaking,
    justhownaïv
    eareyou?
    ”
    “
    Youdon’
    tknowme.
    ”
    “Iknowenought
    oknowt
    haty
    ouar
    eal
    i
    ttl
    e
    stupi
    dorevenmore.
    ”
    “
    Ndr
    ope!
    ”
    “Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evetherear
    esti
    l
    lwomanl i
    keyou,
    keng?(Whati
    sit?)Ar
    eyoudesper
    atethat
    much? ”
    “
    Iam cal
    l
    ingt
    hepol
    i
    ce.
    ”
    “Whyarey oudoi
    ngthist
    oy our
    self
    ?Imaginea
    full
    grownwomangi vi
    nghermanhermoneyt o
    mar r
    yher.Nextt
    hinghei
    scheatingbecausehe
    reall
    ynev
    erlovedyouenoughtomar r
    yyouwith
    hisownmoney .”
    It
    ookadeepbr
    eat
    handlookedathi
    m.“Abe,
    pl
    easedr
    opmeoff
    .Iam beggi
    ngyou.
    ”
    “
    Iam notdr
    oppi
    ngy
    ouof
    fti
    l
    lyougi
    vemea
    concr
    eter
    easonwhyyouar
    emarr
    yingyour
    self.
    That’
    sastupi
    dmove.Whomar
    ri
    esthemselves?
    Areyoucr
    azyorj
    ustdumb?
    ”
    Tearsspill
    edfr
    om t
    hecornerofmyeyes.“
    You
    don’tknowme!Letalonewalkedi
    nmyshoesto
    understandwhyIdothethi
    ngsIdo.Canyou
    dropmeof f
    ?”
    Abelookedatmef
    orawhi
    l
    eandshookhi
    s
    head.“
    No.”
    “Iam beggi
    ngyou.Moemedi i
    sMalc’sf
    ather
    andIlovehim.DoIborrowhim moneytomarry
    meornot ,t
    hat’
    snotyourbusi
    ness.
    ”
    “
    Whyonear
    thwoul
    dyougiv
    ehim moneyt
    o
    mar
    ryy
    ou?I
    sn’
    theworki
    ng?”
    “Hei
    s!Hebr okehisarm.Hei sgoingt ogetpaid
    andhewill
    replacethemoney .Pleasel etmego,
    youaref
    reakingmeout .Youcan’ tjudgeme,
    youdon’
    tknowme.Igett hatenoughf r om my
    ownmother.Keagokopa, nt
    hogel eet samaye
    (
    Iam beggi
    ngy
    ou,
    letmego.
    )”
    Abestoppedt
    hecaratt
    hesi
    deoft
    her
    oadand
    l
    ookedatmesadly.
    “
    Andheaskedyout
    obor
    rowhimyoursavi
    ngs,
    whatdi
    dyouwantt
    odowit
    hthatmoney?
    ”
    “
    Iwant
    edt
    ogobackt
    oschool
    .”
    “
    Ter
    ti
    ary
    ?”
    Inodded.
    “
    Andwhatdi
    dyouwantt
    ost
    udy
    ?”
    “
    Iwasstudyi
    ngarchi
    tect
    urebutIfai
    ledalong
    wayandthegov
    ernmentwouldn’tsponsorme.”
    “
    Howmuchar
    eyoubor
    rowi
    nghi
    m?”
    “
    P10K.
    ”
    “
    Wow!Hedoesn’
    thav
    ehi
    sownmoney
    ?”
    “
    Hei
    sgoi
    ngt
    ogetpai
    d.”
    “
    Ishi
    sjobaf
    ull
    timej
    ob?
    ”
    Ishookmyhead.“
    No.Hebui
    l
    ds.
    ”
    “
    Sowhenhei
    snotbui
    l
    ding,
    whoi
    ssuppor
    ti
    ng
    t
    hef
    amil
    y?You?
    ”
    Isi
    ghed.“
    Iwantt
    ogo,
    unl
    ockt
    hedoor
    s.”
    “
    Maybey
    oushoul
    danswermesoIl
    ety
    ougo.
    Wher
    edoyouwor
    k?”
    “Choppies.But…”Il
    ookedathimreali
    zi
    ngIwas
    completelytel
    l
    ingastrangermywholeli
    fe.“
    I
    am call
    i
    ngt hepoli
    ce.YoumustthinkIam
    stupi
    d.”
    “Idothi
    nkyouare,
    howdoy outakethemoney
    youhavespentmonthsandmont hssav
    ingjust
    sotogivei
    ttoamanwhoy ouhavebeenwi t
    h
    foryear
    snow,hedoesn’
    twork,yousupporthim.
    Whatguarant
    eesyouthathewil
    lgetpaid?
    ”
    “
    Hewi
    l
    lgetpai
    d.”
    Abestar
    tedt
    hecarandj
    oinedt
    her
    oad.“
    Whi
    ch
    bank?
    ”
    “
    FNB.
    ”
    Minuteslat
    erhepar kedattheFNBparkingl
    ot.
    “Youaremaki ngami stakebecauseof
    desperat
    ion.It
    ’sactual
    lystupi
    dofyoutoval
    ue
    marri
    agewi thauselessmant hanyour
    educati
    on.Ipityyourson.”
    Ilookedathi
    m moment aril
    yandst
    eppedoutof
    thecarbangi
    ngt hedoor .Iwal
    kedtowar
    dsthe
    FNBent r
    ancethenturnedbackandopenedt he
    doorstari
    ngathim.
    “ImetMoemedi 6y earsagoandIf elli
    nlove
    withhim.Hedi dn’
    thav eanything, i
    twaspure
    l
    ov e.Iwasn’ tinitforthemoney ,Imethi mthe
    samey earIf ai
    ledandIwasst ayi
    ngwi thmy
    mot herwhodi dnot hingbutpul l
    medownev er
    y
    chanceshegot .Shev erbal
    lyabusedmeeach
    andev eryday ,
    myf atherislate,heusedt obe
    mypi ll
    ar,hewasmypi l
    lar
    …”Tear sr andownmy
    cheeks.“ Butwhenhepassedon, ever
    ythi
    ng
    tookthewr ongt ur
    nandev erydaywashar dfor
    me.Ihaddr oppedoutofschool .Iwasdoi ng
    not hingformy selfandt hat’swhenImet
    Moemedi .Hedi dn’tthinkIwasst upi d,hedi dn’
    t
    thinkIwasusel ess, hedi dn’tthinkIwasugl y.
    Hesawasi deofmeIcoul dnev ersee.He
    mot i
    v at
    edme, hewor kedpi ecejobsandhewas
    doi ngwel l.Ifel lpregnant ,mymot herki ckedme
    outbecauseIhadputmor ebur denonher .
    Moemedi t ookmei nandsuppor t
    edmeandt he
    pregnancy .Heboughtt hebaby ’spr epar ation,
    hehel pedmewi thourson, hedidi tallal one.
    Thi ngsgetdi fficultforhi m, hedoesn’ tgiv eme
    ev erythi
    ngIneed, buthet r
    ieshi sbest .Heget s
    frustr at
    edsomet i
    mesbecausehi sent i
    ref ami l
    y
    dependsonhi m, mysal aryatChoppi eswas
    hel ping.Thatsamemani st hemanwhohas
    beenhel pingmesav et hatmoneybecausehe
    seesabr i
    ghtf uturef orme.Heaskedmet o
    bor rowhi mt hatmoneysot omar rymebecause
    ev eryonet hinkshei sst upid,thi
    nkshei susi ng
    mebecauset heydon’ tunder stand.Heknows
    whatt hatmoneyi sf orandwhenhesay shewill
    retur
    ni t,
    hewi ll
    .Iam notst upidordesper at
    e,
    youandev eryoneelsemayseenot hingbuta
    fooli
    nmeandt hat’
    sok, i
    tlongst opped
    botheringmebuty oust ayiny ourlane.Iam
    ti
    redofi t!Goonwi thy ourexpensi vecarand
    l
    iveyourexpensi velifebutl eavemyl if
    et heway
    youfoundi t
    .Thanky ou.”Icl osedhisdoorand
    wipedmyt earswithmyt -shirt
    .
    “Eazi
    ,comeback.
    ”Hesteppedoutofhi scar
    andwalkedovert
    ome.“Iam sorryforcal
    li
    ng
    youstupi
    d.Iwasoutofl
    ine.Idi
    dn’tunder
    stand
    whybutnowIdo.”
    “
    Ijustwanty
    out
    oleav
    emeal
    one.
    ”
    “IknowandIwillbutf
    irst
    ,canwetal
    k.”He
    openedthepassengerdoorforme.“
    Getin,I
    won’tl
    ockthedoors.”
    Isi
    ghedthengoti
    n.Abewal
    kedr
    oundt
    hengot
    i
    nandlookedatme.
    “Iunder
    standnow.It’
    st hatl
    ovethatstar
    ted
    l
    ongback, theki
    ndofl oveever
    yoneisagainst
    .I
    getyou.Butyoureducat i
    oni
    simpor t
    anttoo.I
    wanttomakeapr oposaltoyou.
    ”
    “
    AbeI
    -“
    “
    Iwantt
    ogi
    vey
    out
    heP10.
    000.
    ”
    “
    No.
    ”
    “
    Howmuchdoy
    ouhav
    esav
    ed?
    ”
    Il
    ookedi
    nhi
    sey
    es.“
    P20000.
    ”
    “
    Wow,
    howmuchdoy
    ousav
    eamont
    h?”
    “
    P500.
    ”
    “
    Impressi
    ve,
    Iwantt
    ogiv
    eyout
    he10K.When
    Moemedigiv
    eyoubackt
    hemoney
    ,youwi
    llgi
    ve
    i
    tbacktome.”
    “
    Idon’
    twanty
    ourmoney
    .”
    “
    Comeon,
    Iwantt
    obey
    ourf
    ri
    end.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    erude,
    mean.Idon’
    twanty
    ouasa
    f
    ri
    end.
    ”
    Abesmil
    ed.“Icanchange.Li
    sten,
    Iwi
    l
    lgi
    veyou
    the10K,
    youwi l
    lpayi
    tbackonceMoemedi
    get’
    spai
    d.”
    “
    Whyar
    eyoudoi
    ngt
    his?
    ”
    “
    Iam doi
    ngi
    tforMal
    col
    m.”
    “
    Youdon’
    tev
    enknowme.
    ”
    “Iknowenough.Iwi
    l
    ldropyouof
    faty
    ourhouse.
    Iwillwr
    it
    eyouacheque.”
    Hestart
    edt
    hecaranddr
    ovef
    rom t
    heFNB
    par
    king.
    “
    Arey
    ouser
    iousr
    ightnow?
    ”
    Abegav
    ehert
    hecut
    esmi
    l
    e.“
    Yeah…”
    “
    Idon’
    tbel
    i
    evey
    ouar
    ejustdoi
    ngt
    his,
    whatdo
    y
    ouwant?”
    “
    Iam doi
    ngi
    tforMalcol
    m,younev
    erknow
    wher
    elif
    ewi
    llt
    akeyoutomorr
    owEazi,
    may be
    Moemedi wil
    lfai
    ltor
    eturnthemoneydueto
    reasonsbey ondhim,Iwantyoutogotoschool
    ,
    getadegr eeandgiveMalcolmtheli
    fehe
    deserves.IwantmymoneybackbutIdon’ t
    mindev enifyoutake10y ear
    storet
    urni
    t.
    ”
    Ismil
    ed.“Thankyou,eventhought
    hisis
    unr
    eali
    sti
    c.Itdoesn’
    thappenmuchof t
    en.”
    Abel
    aughed.“
    Iam agoodSamar
    it
    an,
    Godwi
    l
    l
    bl
    essme.”
    “
    Youdon’
    tlookl
    i
    key
    oubel
    i
    evei
    nGod.
    ”
    “Heel
    ammannaker
    atamodi
    moi
    j
    a.(
    Ilov
    e
    God.)
    ”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Youl
    ookugl
    ywheny
    oucr
    y.”
    “
    Mxm.
    ”
    “
    Iam t
    ell
    i
    ngyou.
    ”Hestoppedt
    hecaratt
    her
    ed
    t
    raf
    fi
    cli
    ghtt
    henl
    ookedatme.
    “
    What
    ?”
    Heshookhisheadandtappedhissmar
    tradi
    o
    thenmusi
    cstart
    ed.Hel
    eanedbackonhisseat
    asSimmy’
    sngiyesabaf
    il
    ledthecar.
    Awhil
    elat
    er,
    hedroveinsi
    deayar
    dwhi
    l
    eI
    l
    ookedatt
    hebeauti
    ful
    house.
    “
    Thi
    sisy
    ourhouse?
    ”
    Hest
    eppedoutoft
    hecarandwal
    kedov
    ert
    o
    mydoor
    .
    “
    NoEazi
    ,mypar
    ent
    ’s.Come.
    ”
    Hetookmyhandandwal
    kedwi
    thmet
    othe
    ent
    rance.
    “
    No!Yourpar
    ent
    ’shouse?
    ”
    “
    Howol
    dar
    eyouagai
    n?”
    “
    27.
    ”
    “
    Exact
    ly,
    wear
    enot18y
    earol
    dsher
    e.Come.
    ”
    Hepul
    ledheri
    nsidet
    hehouse.Awoman
    scr
    eamedstar
    ingatust
    henrushedov
    erpul
    l
    ing
    Abei
    nhi
    sar
    ms.
    “Abe!OhmyGod!Taku!Abedi
    l
    eisher
    e.Iam so
    happytoseey
    ou!”
    Istoodawkwar dl
    ywhi l
    eAbeheldmyhandwi th
    hisot herarm huggingobv i
    ousl
    yhismother.
    Shest eppedbackpi nchi
    nghischeekshappi
    ly.
    Shel ookedatmet henourhandsent wi
    ned,her
    smiledwi dened.
    “
    Uhu!Kemakot
    iwame.(
    It
    ’smydaught
    eri
    n-
    l
    aw.
    )”
    Il
    ookeddownshy
    lynotsur
    ewhatt
    osay
    .
    “
    Myl
    ady
    ,thi
    sisEazi
    ,Eazi
    thi
    sismymot
    her
    .”
    “
    Kemot
    swana?(
    IssheaMot
    swana?
    )”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Hismot hersnatchedmeandhuggedme
    happi
    ly.“Fi
    nall
    y,Iwasgr owingwor r
    iedthinki
    ng
    youwoul dmar r
    yaFr enchgirl
    .Eazi,Iam
    coming,Iam goingtocal l
    yourfatherin-
    law.”
    Shequi
    ckl
    ywal
    kedaway
    .
    “
    Whyar
    eyounotcor
    rect
    ingher
    ?”
    Heshruggedwit
    hasmi l
    eandwal
    kedt
    othe
    si
    tt
    ingroom pul
    l
    ingherhand.

    *
    **

    Lonaswal kedtot hef r


    idgeandt r
    iedopeni ngit
    butitwouldn’topen, nowshewonder edi fthe
    fr
    idgehadapr oblem.Thi r
    sty
    , sheopenedt he
    ki
    tchenuni tandt ookoutagl assofwat erthen
    l
    ookedatt hecompl ext ape.Shet riedopeni ng
    withallst
    ylesbutnot hingwashappeni ng.She
    l
    ookedar ound, shehadn’ teatenany thi
    ngy et
    andLinawasnowher et obef ound, herphone
    wasof fandshedi dn’
    tev enhav eachar ger.She
    putdownt hecupandopenedev erydoorand
    drawerintheki tchentil
    l shecameacr oss
    cornfl
    akes.Herst omachgr umbl edasshe
    openedthecornf
    lakesandbeguneati
    ngthem
    dry.Li
    namadeherwayt ot
    hekit
    chenand
    fr
    ownedstari
    ngather .
    “
    Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Iam hungr
    y.”
    “
    So?
    ”
    “
    Iam goi
    ngt
    otel
    lTendai
    !”
    “
    Tendai
    andIwi
    l
    lbeat
    tendi
    ngabusi
    nesspar
    ty
    t
    oni
    ght.
    ”
    Shewalkedoverandopenedherfr
    idgethen
    tookoutabott
    leofj
    uicecl
    osingherfr
    idge.
    Lonastear
    ful
    l
    ylookedather.
    “Youar
    egoingtor
    egr
    etthis,onceItakeover
    thi
    shouse,
    youwil
    lwi
    shy ouwer eneverborn.I
    am goi
    ngtoousty
    oufrom thehouse.”
    “
    Shame…y
    ouneedt
    ogr
    owup.
    ”
    Linawalkedawayt
    hensatonherbed
    thought
    full
    yandst
    oodupgrabbi
    nghercarkey
    s.
    ShepassedLonaswhowasst
    il
    li
    ntheki
    tchen.
    “
    Don’
    tbur
    nmyhouse.
    ”
    Lonasignor edherasshewal kedt ot hegarage,
    gotinhercaranddr ovetoherin-
    lawshouse.
    Minutesl atershepar kedbesi
    deAbe’ scarand
    smiledfixingher sel
    f.Sheranherpi nkl i
    psti
    ck
    onherlipsbef oresteppi
    ngout.Heri n-laws
    l
    ovedher , theywouldsur el
    yhelpher .She
    walkedinsi det hehousewithasmi le, hereyes
    fel
    lonherf atherin-
    lawseatedwithAbe.
    Herf
    atheri
    n-l
    awsmi
    l
    ed.“
    Whatasur
    pri
    se.Li
    na,
    comeonin.
    ”
    Li
    nawal
    kedov
    erandgr
    eet
    edhi
    m.“
    Fat
    her
    …”
    “
    Howar
    eyoudoi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Iam f
    ine.Hi
    Abe.
    ”
    “
    Lina.
    ”
    “
    Uhhwher
    eismom?
    ”
    “
    Shei
    sint
    heki
    tchen.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lgoandhel
    pher
    .”
    I
    nthekit
    chen,Li
    napausedst ari
    ngatthe
    womanwhoseemedf amili
    artoherchatt
    ing
    wi
    thhermotherin-
    law.Thewomant ur
    nedand
    l
    ookedather,
    Abe’smot hertur
    nedtooasher
    l
    aught
    erdieddown.
    “
    Lina!Eazi
    ,thi
    sisLi
    na,myelderson’
    swi
    fe.Li
    na,
    t
    hisisEazi
    ,Abe’sgi
    rl
    fr
    iend.
    ”
    Li
    nachuckl
    edrememberingthefamili
    arface,
    it
    wasthecashi
    erfr
    om Choppies.Shelookedat
    hergoi
    ngdownheruglydresstil
    lherplai
    nfl
    at
    pumpsthenbackatherf
    ace.
    “
    Abehasagi
    rl
    fr
    iend?Al
    ready
    ?”
    “Iam sohappy
    ,Iam comi
    ng.Ihav
    etomakea
    phonecall
    .”
    Li
    nalookedatEaziashermot
    heri
    n-l
    awwal
    ked
    outandlaughed.“
    Wow!”
    “
    Hi.
    ”
    “WheredidAbegety ou,youdon’tl
    ookl
    ikehis
    type,
    atall
    .Youdon’treachuptohislev
    el,what
    areyou?Aprost
    itut
    e?Youmustbeone.How
    muchdidhesayhei sgoi ngtopayyou?”Li
    na
    tookoutherpur
    seandt ookoutsomemoney .
    “Howmuch? ”
    “
    Iam notapr
    ost
    it
    ute.
    ”
    “Thenwhatareyoudoinghere?Youarenot
    Abe’sgir
    lf
    ri
    endbecauseAbedoesn’tdate
    peopleli
    keyou.Whenyoulookatyoursel
    fon
    themirr
    or,doyouthi
    nkamanl ikeAbeisyour
    type?Takethi
    smoneyandgo. ”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #6
    Il
    ookedatthevil
    eladywonder i
    ngifthi
    swas
    herchar
    acter
    ,Icouldreadthebelit
    tl
    ement
    betweenherwords.Isighedput
    tingthekni
    fe
    down.
    “Iam notapr ost
    itute,
    andmay beyouar eright.I
    don’tfi
    ttobeAbe’ sgirl
    fri
    endbutwhyi sthat
    muchofy ourbusinessifyouareonlymar r
    ied
    tothebrotherunlessofcausey ouwantt hem
    both.”Iwipedmyhands.“ Iwi
    l
    lleav
    e, keepy our
    money .”
    Abewal
    kedi
    nasIt
    ookof
    ftheki
    tchenapr
    on.
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “
    AbeIhav
    ebeengonef
    orl
    ongenough,
    Ineed
    t
    ogo.
    ”
    Abe’
    smotherwalkedinandsmil
    edatmeand
    Abe,f
    rom hi
    shi
    storyshehadnar
    rat
    edtome
    wit
    hwomanIcoul dtel
    lwhyshewassohappy
    now.
    “
    Abe,
    wear
    enotdonecooki
    ng.
    ”
    Il
    ookedi
    nhi
    sey
    esbeggi
    nghi
    mtot
    akeme
    home.
    “
    MamaEazi
    hast
    ogo,
    Linawi
    l
    lhel
    pyou.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?Butshej
    ustcame.Wear
    est
    il
    lbondi
    ng.
    ”
    Il
    ookeddownasshewal
    kedov
    ert
    ome.
    “
    Eazi
    pleasest
    ay.
    ”
    “Mama,shewi l
    lcomeback.Ipromise,ri
    ght
    nowsher eal
    l
    yhast ogo.Linawil
    lhel
    p.”Abe
    ki
    ssedhismot her
    ’scheekthenwewalkedout
    sayi
    nggoodby etohisfat
    her.I
    nhiscarhe
    l
    ookedatme.
    “
    Whathappened?
    ”
    “
    Not
    hing,
    Ijusthav
    etogo.
    ”
    “Icantel
    lsomet
    hinghappened.Whatdi
    dLi
    na
    say?”
    “
    Abepl
    easet
    akemehome.
    ”
    Hestart
    edt
    hecaranddr
    oveoutofhi
    spar
    ent
    ’s
    house.
    “
    Whatdi
    dLi
    nasay
    ?”
    “
    Not
    hing.Whywoul
    dshesayany
    thi
    ng?
    ”
    “Icoul
    dfeel
    thet
    ensi
    onwhenIwal
    kedi
    nthe
    kit
    chen.
    ”
    “
    Shedi
    dn’
    tsayany
    thi
    ngt
    ome.
    ”
    Heglancedatmeandsmi
    l
    ed.“
    Youar
    ea
    hor
    ri
    bleli
    ar.
    ”
    Awhi
    l
    elat
    erhedr
    ovei
    nmyst
    reet
    .
    “
    Stopher
    e,Iwi
    l
    lwal
    k.Ist
    aydownt
    hest
    reet
    .”
    “
    Why
    ?Hei
    sjeal
    ous?
    ”
    “
    Justst
    opher
    eAbe.
    ”
    Hestoppedthecarandlookedatmebefore
    r
    eachingforasmallbagattheback.“
    Ther
    e.”
    Il
    ookedathi
    mt hentookthebag.“
    Thanky
    ou.I
    wi
    llr
    etur
    nit,
    everycent
    .”
    “
    Iknow.Iwi
    l
    lcal
    ll
    ater
    .”
    “
    No.Moemedi
    mightanswer
    .”
    “
    Don’
    tworr
    yaboutal
    lthat
    ,justsav
    emynumber
    wi
    thafemal
    ename.”
    Ist
    eppedoutandsmi
    l
    edsl
    i
    ght
    ly.“
    Thanks.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    ewel
    comeEazi
    .”
    Iclosedthecardoorandwalkeddownthe
    str
    eet.Itookadeepbreathappr
    oachi
    ngmy
    gatethengotinmyt i
    nyyardwit
    honlyt
    heone
    room, Abeslowl
    ydrovebyasIopenedthedoor
    andgoti nthehouse.

    *
    **

    Abedrov
    eawaytur
    ningupthemusic,hi
    sphone
    rangt
    henhepi
    ckedhisyoungerbr
    other
    ’scal
    l
    .
    “
    Tino!
    ”
    “Soyounev
    erbotheredt
    otel
    lusyouareback,
    I
    coul
    dhavepickedyouupfr
    om t
    heair
    port.
    ”
    Abel
    aughed.“
    You?Pi
    ckmeup?
    ”
    “
    Whywon’
    tI?For
    giv
    emef
    orhav
    ingaf
    amous
    f
    oot
    bal
    l
    erbrot
    her
    .”
    “
    Mxm.
    ”
    “
    Any
    way
    s,howl
    ongar
    eyouher
    efor
    ?”
    “
    Forawhi
    le.Ihav
    etosor
    taf
    ewgr
    oundt
    hings
    i
    nmyli
    fe.
    ”
    “
    Whatgr
    oundt
    hings?
    ”
    “
    Iwanttobui
    l
    dahouse.That
    ’st
    hef
    ir
    stone
    t
    henstar
    tsomet
    hing.
    ”
    “Ok.Anywayswhati
    sPapacall
    i
    ngusf
    ort
    hat
    Tendaishoul
    dn’
    tknowabout
    ?”
    “
    Itcan’
    tbedi
    scussedov
    ert
    hephone.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    lbet
    her
    e.”
    “
    Sur
    eboy
    .”
    Abeovert
    ookacarsteppingonhisacceler
    ator
    .
    HeknewLinahadsaidsomet hi
    ngandhewas
    wonder
    ingexact
    lywhatthathadEazileavi
    ng.

    *
    **

    Li
    naf i
    nishedcooki
    ngwit
    hhermotherin-
    law
    chatt
    ing,theysett
    het
    abl
    ejustasTinowalked
    i
    nf r
    om thebackdoorandki
    ssedhismother’s
    cheek
    “
    Myoneandonl
    y…”
    Hismothersmil
    ed.“
    Tino,whatdidIsayabout
    parki
    ngyourcart
    her
    et hencomingfrom t
    he
    backdoor.
    ”
    Hepi
    ckedapieceofmeatf
    rom t
    hecasser
    ole.“
    I
    pr
    omise,
    all
    yourfl
    ower
    saresti
    l
    lint
    act
    .”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyout
    aki
    ngt
    hatpi
    ece?
    ”
    HehuggedLi
    naanddashedoutoft
    heki
    tchen
    bumpi
    ngi
    ntoAbe.
    “
    Chi
    ef!
    ”
    Ti
    nohuggedhi
    sbr
    other
    .“Fr
    enchboy
    .”
    Abepunchedhi
    m asTi
    nolaughedevenhar
    der
    .
    “Nextt
    imeyoucal
    lmethat
    ,youaregoingt
    o
    cry.
    ”
    “
    Sor
    ry.
    ”
    Ti
    nowal kedt
    ohi
    sfat
    herwhi
    l
    eAbegoti
    nthe
    ki
    tchen.
    “
    Lina,
    canwet
    alk?
    ”
    Li
    nat
    urnedt
    ohi
    m andsmi
    l
    ed.“
    Yeah.
    ”
    Theywalkedoutwit
    ht hebackdoorandst
    ood
    onthepati
    o.“Whatdidyousayt oher
    ?”
    “
    Not
    hing.
    ”
    “
    Youar ebegi
    nningtoannoyme,Ihat
    eliars,
    if
    youareusedtolyi
    ngdon’tbr
    ingt
    hatatt
    itudeto
    me.Iam notyourhusband.
    ”
    Thei
    ntensi
    tyi
    nhi
    sey
    eshadherhear
    tbeat
    ing.
    “
    Iam notgoi
    ngt
    oasky
    ouagai
    n.”
    “
    Iaskedheri
    fshewasast
    reetgi
    rl
    .”
    “
    Andwhat
    ’sast
    reetgi
    rl
    ?”
    “Aprost
    it
    ute.Youjustcameback,
    whendidyou
    getti
    met ogetagirl
    fr
    iendy
    ouwouldi
    ntr
    oduce
    toyourparent
    s?”
    “
    Youcal
    l
    edherapr
    ost
    it
    ute?
    ”
    “
    Ifshewasn’
    tone,
    whydi
    dshel
    eav
    e?”
    “Herbeinghereisnonofy ourbusiness,
    just
    becauseIhaveasof tspotony oudoesn’tmake
    youthecenterofmyl if
    e.Dealwithyour
    cheati
    nghusbandandl eavemyr elati
    onshipsto
    me,youar egrowingtoobigforyourshoes. ”
    Hewalkedroundt hebackhousejumpinghis
    mother’
    sfl
    ower swhil
    etakingoutacigaret
    te
    fr
    om hispockettoget
    herwi t
    hali
    ghter.Hesat
    onTino’
    sgolf’
    sbonnetlighti
    nghi
    scigarett
    eand
    smokedstari
    ngatthefl
    ower
    s.Forawhil
    ehe
    l
    ookedathislegwonderi
    ngwhathi
    sfut
    urehad
    i
    nstoref
    orhim.

    *
    **

    Lebot
    hasatintheroom thatshesharedwit
    h
    hersi
    bli
    ngsalr
    eadymi ssi
    nghergrandmother.
    Herst
    epf at
    her’
    sfi
    rstbornwalkedinandlooked
    ather
    .
    “
    Iam hungr
    y.”
    “
    Goandt
    ell
    mama.
    ”
    “
    Youshoul
    dgoandcook.
    ”
    “
    Iam notcooki
    ng,
    goandt
    ell
    mama.
    ”
    Reawal
    kedi
    nandl
    ookedatLebot
    ha.
    “Lebot
    hayoucan’
    tjustsi
    t,goandcook,t
    he
    clot
    hesar
    edir
    ty,t
    heyneedt obewashed.You
    di
    dn’
    tcomeher
    etoj
    ustsi
    t.
    ”
    “
    Iwantt
    ogoback.
    ”
    “Youarenotgoi
    ngbackany
    wher
    e.Goand
    clean!
    ”
    Reawalkedoverandpul
    l
    edherwi
    thherhai
    r.
    “Goandclean.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    ehur
    ti
    ngme.
    ”
    “Thisi
    smyhouse!Youwi
    l
    ldoasIsay
    ,.Goand
    clean.
    ”
    Kabel
    owalkedinandlookedatLebot
    ha.Rea
    tookadeepbreat
    hin.
    “
    Icoul
    dn’
    tleav
    eherbehi
    nd.Ei
    therway,Ineeded
    ahel
    perwi
    ththeki
    dsandshewi l
    lhel
    p.”
    Kabel
    olookedatLebotha’
    shi psandbr
    east,she
    wasdefi
    nit
    elybet
    terbuil
    tthanhermother.He
    noddedandwalkedawaywi thoutaword.Rea
    l
    ookedather.
    “
    Youar
    egoi
    ngt
    ocookandcl
    ean,
    washour
    cl
    othes.Ineedhel
    p.Youcan’
    tjustsi
    tandeat
    .
    Youneedt ohel
    pmeout .
    ”

    *
    **

    Moemedif
    ini
    shedcount
    ingt
    hemoneyand
    smi
    led.
    “
    Thankyou,nowIcantel
    lmyuncl
    est
    ost
    art
    wi
    ththenegoti
    ati
    ons.
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    edandnodded.“
    Yes.
    ”
    Igrabbedt
    hebucketst
    andi
    ngup.“
    Iam goi
    ngt
    o
    getwaterf
    rom t
    hetap.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Out
    side,
    Itookmyphonef
    rom mybr
    aand
    l
    ookedatitr
    ingi
    ng.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi,
    whyar
    eyouwhi
    sper
    ing?
    ”
    “
    Stopcal
    l
    ingmer
    ightnow.
    ”
    “Wai
    t…IwantedtoapologizeforwhatLinasaid.
    Youarenotaprost
    it
    uteandwi llneverbe.I
    don’
    tknowwheresheget sthener v
    et otal
    kto
    youl
    ikethat
    .”
    “
    It
    ’sf
    ine,
    Iam ov
    eri
    t.
    ”
    “
    Sti
    l
    l,Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sf
    ineAbe.
    ”
    “
    Ok.By
    e.”
    Moemedisnat
    chedthephonefr
    om meand
    l
    ookedatt
    hecall
    erwhohadjusthungup.
    “
    Whoar
    eyouwhi
    sper
    ingwi
    th?
    ”
    “
    Iam t
    alki
    ngt
    omysi
    ster
    .”
    “
    Sincewhendoy
    out
    alkt
    oyoursi
    ster
    ?”
    Myheartbegunpoundi
    ng.“
    Sincewepat
    ched
    t
    hingsup.
    ”
    Moemedi
    tappedt
    henumberdi
    ali
    ngi
    twhi
    l
    e
    put
    ti
    ngi
    tonl
    oudspeaker
    .
    “Hey…”Themalev
    oiceanswer
    edasmyheart
    poundedevenmore.Moemedihungupl
    ooki
    ng
    atme.
    “
    Whoi
    she?
    ”
    “Noone,
    weworkedt
    oget
    her
    .Hewasaski
    ng
    howIwasdoi
    ng.”
    “
    Thenwhydi
    dyoul
    i
    e?”
    “
    Iwasj
    ustscar
    ed.Hei
    sawor
    kcol
    l
    eague.
    ”
    “Iam goi
    ngtocal
    lhi
    m again,askhi
    mtocome
    by.Iwanttoseehi
    m andtalktohi
    m.”
    “
    Moemedi
    cany
    ouj
    ustl
    eav
    eit
    ?”
    Hesmackedmyf acewit
    hhi sf
    inehandwhi
    le
    hol
    dingt
    hephone.“Don’
    ttestme,cal
    lhi
    m.”
    Itear
    ful
    l
    ylookedathi
    m.“
    Yousai
    dyouwoul
    d
    neverhi
    tme.”
    “
    Cal
    lhi
    m!”
    Isl
    owlyt
    ookt
    hephoneanddi
    aledAbe’
    s
    number.
    “
    Eazi
    ,what
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “
    Myboy
    fri
    endwoul
    dli
    ket
    otal
    ktoy
    ou.
    ”
    Abepaused.“
    Giv
    ehi
    mthephone.
    ”
    “
    Tel
    lhi
    mtocome.
    ”
    IlookedatMoemedi
    thenspoke.“
    Hewant
    syou
    tocome.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Moemedisnat
    chedthephonehangi
    ngupand
    l
    ookedatmebreat
    hingheavi
    l
    ywhilesl
    idi
    ngiti
    n
    hi
    spocket
    .“Soheknowswhereyoustay?”
    “
    MoemediIj
    ust
    -“
    Herai
    sedhishandandslappedme.“Youare
    nowcheati
    ngonme.Iwasonl yawayforone
    dayandyoumadethisyourplay
    ground.
    ”
    Ihel
    dmycheekt
    rembl
    i
    ng.Het
    ri
    edsl
    appi
    ngme
    agai
    nbutIpushedhi
    m of
    f.
    “
    Mal
    col
    m!”
    Moemedi
    grabbedmyhai
    rasMal
    col
    mranout
    .
    “
    Mama…”
    “
    Let
    ’sgo!
    ”
    Ihi
    thisbrokenhandt henhegroanedl et
    ti
    ngme
    go.Baref
    ooted,IranoutwithMalcolm as
    Moemedi gotinthehouseandcameoutwi t
    ha
    kni
    f ef
    oll
    owingafterus.Runni
    ng,Isteppedinto
    asharpbrokenglassslici
    ngmysol e.I
    screamedinagonyt henMalcol
    m gr abbedmy
    handdraggingme.
    “
    Hei
    scomi
    ng.
    ”
    Il
    ookedbehi
    ndandlookedatMoemedicomi
    ng
    wi
    thaknif
    e,hi
    sint
    enti
    oncleari
    nhi
    seyes.
    “
    Mal
    col
    mrun!Runf
    ast
    er!
    ”
    Il
    ookedatthecl
    osedgat
    eswonder
    ingwhich
    gat
    eIcouldgoint
    o.Tear
    sbeganbl
    urr
    ingmy
    ey
    es.
    “Helpme!Hel
    pme!Hewantstoki
    ll
    me!”I
    screamedl
    imping.MmaKst
    eppedoutofher
    house.
    “
    Eazi
    !
    ”
    Malcol
    m qui
    ckl
    yraninside,Il
    ookedbackat
    l
    ookedatMoemedi approachingthencrushed
    mycutfeetsol
    eintotheground, t
    aki
    ngi nt
    he
    pai
    nandraninsi
    de.MmaKqui ckl
    ylockedthe
    doorasMoemedi bangedit.
    “
    Iam goi
    ngt
    oki
    l
    lyouandy
    ourl
    i
    ttl
    eboy
    fri
    end.
    ”
    Il
    i
    mpedtot
    hewi
    ndowshaki
    ng,
    Abewasst
    il
    lon
    hi
    sway
    .
    “
    Eazi
    ,youar
    ebl
    eedi
    ng,
    come.
    ”
    “No…myfri
    endisonhi
    swayher
    e.Moemedi
    is
    goingt
    ohur
    thim.”
    Moemedi
    bangedont
    hedoorevenmor
    e.“Iam
    goi
    ngt
    oburnyoui
    nsi
    det
    here,y
    oumustthinkI
    am af
    ool
    Eazi
    .”
    MmaKtookherphone.“
    Iam cal
    l
    ingt
    hepol
    i
    ce
    now.
    ”
    “
    Nopl
    ease….Hewi
    l
    lgoaway
    .”
    “
    Howmanytimeswi
    l
    lyousayno?Hei
    sgoi
    ng
    t
    oki
    ll
    youEazi
    .”
    MinuteswentbyasIl
    ookedatthewi
    ndow,
    my
    heartski
    ppedasAbe’
    scarspedby.

    *
    **

    AtMoemedi ’
    shouse, helookedaroundthe
    room l
    ookingforpet
    rol.Acardr ov
    eintheyard
    thenhesteppedoutwhi let
    heowneroft hecar
    gotoutdressedsmart l
    y.Hetookoffhis
    basebal
    lcapandwal kedov er.
    “
    Youwant
    edt
    oseeme.Wher
    eisshe?
    ”
    Moemedilookedathimthenhisf
    ancycar.He
    l
    ookedri
    ch.Hisshoeslookedsoexpensi
    ve,
    t
    heycoul
    dpayhi srent
    .
    “Iam notgoi
    ngt
    oasky
    ouagai
    n?Wher
    eis
    Eazi
    ?”
    “
    Shei
    snother
    e.St
    ayawayf
    rom her
    .”
    Abenoti
    cedthekni
    fei
    nhi
    shands,
    hemoved
    backandki
    ckedMoemedi
    ’shandmaki
    nghi
    m
    dropt
    heknif
    e.
    “
    Wher
    eisEazi
    ?Whatdi
    dyoudot
    oher
    ?”
    “
    Stayaway
    -“
    Abeswunghisfistandpunchedhim.“
    Iwi
    l
    l
    br
    eakal
    lyourteeth.WhereisEazi
    ?”
    Moemedi
    hel
    dhi
    sbr
    okenl
    i
    p.“
    Sher
    anof
    f.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    eisshe?
    ”
    “There.
    ”Hepointed.Abegotbackinthecarand
    drovetothehouseMoemedi hadpoi
    ntedthen
    steppedout.Helookedatthebloodonthe
    v
    erandaandknockedwi
    l
    dly
    .
    “
    Eazi
    !
    ”

    *
    **

    I
    nsi
    det
    hehouse,
    Mal
    colm st
    oodst
    il
    ll
    ooki
    ngat
    measMmaKopenedthedoor.
    “
    It
    ’sy
    ourf
    ri
    endMal
    c…”
    Mal
    col
    mt ur
    nedt
    hensmi
    l
    edst
    ari
    ngatAbe.
    “
    Heychamp!”
    “
    Mama’
    sfooti
    sbl
    eedi
    ng.
    ”
    Abel
    ookedatmet
    henmybl
    eedi
    ngf
    oot
    .
    “
    Whathappened?Di
    dhedot
    his?
    ”
    “
    No.
    ”
    Hewal kedoverandpickedherup.“
    Iam t
    aki
    ng
    yout othehospi
    tal
    .”Hewalkedoutwit
    hherand
    placedherinthecar.
    “
    Iam goi
    ngt
    omessupy
    ourcar
    .”
    “
    Sitdown,
    Mal
    c,geti
    n.”
    Hewal
    kedbackt
    otheol
    derl
    adyandsmi
    l
    ed.
    “Dumel
    ang,
    mynameisAbe,Iam Eazi
    ’
    sfr
    iend.
    Thankyouf
    ort
    aki
    ngheri
    n.”
    “
    Youshouldtakeherawayfr
    om thi
    sabusi
    ve
    man.Healwaysdoesthi
    s,onedayheisgoi
    ng
    t
    okil
    lher
    .”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    l.
    ”
    Hewal
    kedbackt
    othecart
    henj
    umpedi
    n.
    “
    Didy
    oucal
    lthepol
    i
    ce?
    ”
    “
    Iam notreport
    inghi
    m,hej
    ustl
    osti
    t.Hei
    s
    Mal
    c'
    sf at
    her.”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe
    #7

    Abesloweddownst
    ari
    ngatme.“
    Soy
    oudi
    dn’
    t
    cal
    lthepol
    ice?
    ”
    “
    Iam notcal
    l
    ingt
    hepol
    i
    ce.
    ”
    Abel ookedatMalcol
    m atthebackandsi ghed
    tr
    y i
    ngt ohol
    dhimself
    .Hest oppedthecarand
    steppedoutopeningthebackdoor.Hesmi led
    atMal col
    m secur
    inghim ontheseatbelt
    .
    “
    Arey
    out
    aki
    ngmamat
    othehospi
    tal
    ?”
    “
    Yes,
    hav
    eyoueat
    en?
    ”
    “
    Ngng…papat
    hrewawayt
    hef
    ood.
    ”
    It
    urnedandl
    ookedatMal
    col
    m.“Mal
    col
    m,what
    di
    dIsayaboutt
    ell
    i
    ngpeopl
    eourf
    amil
    ythi
    ngs?
    ”
    Abeignoredme.“
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    lgety
    ouf
    ood.What
    doyoulike?”
    “
    KFC,
    Nandos,
    cake,
    icecr
    eam,
    hungr
    yli
    on.
    ”
    Abel
    aughed.“
    Ok,
    wewi
    l
    lgety
    oual
    loft
    hat
    .”
    “
    Ialsowantspi
    derman,papasai
    dhewoul
    dbuy
    i
    tformebuthedidn’
    t.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lgety
    ouev
    ery
    thi
    ngy
    ouwant
    .”
    “
    Ever
    ythi
    ng?Li
    keev
    ery
    thi
    ng?
    ”
    Iangr
    il
    yshout
    ed.“
    Mal
    col
    m!”
    Abeturnedtome.“Kekopagoreosekawa
    nkomany et
    sangwanaoEazi.(
    Pleasedon’
    t
    shoutathim.)
    ”
    “
    Youknowwhat?MysonandIdon’
    tneedy
    ou.
    Mal
    col
    mlet
    ’sgo.”
    Ist
    eppedoutsteppi
    ngonmybar
    efeett
    hen
    l
    impedroundthecar.“
    Mal
    col
    mlet
    ’sgo.
    ”
    “
    Butmyf
    ri
    endi
    staki
    ngy
    out
    othehospi
    tal
    .”
    “
    Mal
    col
    m,Isai
    dlet
    ’sgo.Hei
    snoty
    ourf
    ri
    end!
    ”
    Malcol
    mtearful
    lyl
    ookedatAbet
    il
    ltear
    sran
    downhischeeks.Abecl
    osedMal
    colm’sdoor
    .
    “
    Canyoustopi
    t?Whyar
    eyout
    raumat
    izi
    nghi
    m
    l
    i
    kethi
    s?”
    “
    Giv
    ememyson!
    ”
    “Youcan’tevenl ookoutforhi m.Youcan’teven
    protecthi
    mf rom y ourbul
    lshit
    .Youlethim
    witnessvi
    olenceandy etclaimtocareabout
    him.Youjustgav eamanwhoabusesy ouand
    onedaywi l
    lpr obablykil
    lyouy ourmoneyso
    thathemar r
    iesy ou,isthi
    st hekindoff
    ami l
    y
    youwantMal col mt oli
    veunder ?”
    “
    Abedi
    l
    eyoudon’
    tknowme.Gi
    vememyson.
    ”
    “Iam notl etti
    ngy outakehi m,ify oudon’twant
    tocomewi thmei t’
    sfinebutIam t akinghim
    with,goaheadandcal lt
    hepol iceandIwi ll
    gladlytell
    t hem yoursocal ledboy f
    ri
    endwas
    tryi
    ngt okillyouinfrontofhi m, Ihav ethatold
    l
    adyasmywi tness.Iwil
    l eventakei tupwi th
    thesoci alwor ker
    s,Iwillprovethaty ouandy our
    boy f
    riendar enotgoodpar entst ohim.Wat ch
    me.
    ”
    “
    Abedi
    l
    egi
    vememyson!
    ”
    Heopenedhisdoorandgoti nthendrov
    eof
    f
    l
    eavi
    ngmest andi
    ngthere.Iputmyhandsover
    myfacecry
    inginthemiddleoft her
    oad.

    *
    **

    Lonasqui etl
    ywentupst airsgoingr oom by
    room hol dingherdeadphone.Shef i
    nal l
    y
    enteredt hemast erbedroom andl ookedatt he
    hugepi ctureframeofLi naont hewal l.They
    hadnev erbeent hatclosegr owingup, no
    mat terhowmuchshet ri
    edget ti
    ngcl oset oher
    oldersisteritseemedl i
    kethedi stancebet ween
    them coul dnev erclose.Tearsf i
    ll
    edherey esas
    sher emember edt heti
    messheusedt of oll
    ow
    afterLinal i
    keal ostpuppy ,shenev erlistened
    whenev erhermot hert
    oldhert ost opandwhen
    shefinall
    yrealizednothi
    nggoodshedi dcaught
    hersister’
    sattenti
    onexpectthebadt hings,
    she
    didthem mor eof t
    en.Notthatitpl
    easedherbut
    shecoul dtakewhat everr
    elat
    ionshipshecould
    getfrom theonl ypersonsheconsidereda
    fr
    iend.Shel ookedar oundthentookapaper
    andpen.

    DearLi
    na

    Ihavedecidedtogobackhome, Iwanty outo


    knowIwasnev erheretosl
    eepwi thyour
    husbandbecauseIdon’ tev
    enseehi ml ikethat,
    Ij
    ustthoughtfinal
    lyyouandIwoul dfinallybe
    cl
    ose,li
    kerealsist
    ers.Someti
    mesIwonderwhy
    Ievenbothertryi
    ngtomakeourr elat
    ionshi p
    workwheni t’
    sclearyoudespiseme.Idon’ t
    knowwhatIdi dtoy ou,maybeit’
    smymot her
    butIal
    way swishedonedaywewoul dbebest
    fr
    iends.Idi
    dn’
    ttakeany
    thi
    ngthat’
    snotmine,
    myphonei soffsowhenyougetthi
    slet
    ter
    pl
    easei nf
    orm mamathatIam onmywayhome.

    Lov
    e,Lonas.
    Shef oldedthelett
    erandplaceditonLina’
    s
    dressingtable.Hereyescaughtaglimpseof
    Lina’
    sgr eenheels.Herheartpoundedasshe
    tookt helongheelandsli
    dherf ooti
    nsi
    de.
    “
    Wow!
    ”
    Thedooropenedthenshequi
    ckl
    ytookof
    fthe
    shoe.“
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    Tendai
    chuckl
    ed.“
    It
    ’sme.
    ”
    Lonasgi ggl
    edwit
    hapoundi
    nghear
    t.“
    Iam
    sorry
    , Iam l
    eav
    ingsoIwaswri
    ti
    ngmygoodby
    e
    l
    etter.I-
    “
    “
    Lonas,
    rel
    ax.I
    t’
    sme.
    ”
    “
    Iam r
    eal
    l
    ysor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Whyar
    eyoul
    eav
    ing?
    ”
    “Idon’
    twanttofi
    ghtwithmysi st
    er.Iknowwhat
    mamasai dtoyoubutthehonestt r
    uthisthatI
    wouldneverbet
    raymysi st
    erli
    kethat,Ij
    ust
    wantedtobeclosetoherplus,Ihavealways
    prayedtocometoGabor one.
    ”
    Tendainodded.“
    Isee.Your
    eal
    l
    ylov
    eherdon’
    t
    you?”
    “Wit
    hallmyheart
    ,Iwishsheknewt
    hat
    .Butof
    cause…Linabei
    ngLina.
    ”
    Tendai chuckled.“Igety ou.Ir
    eall
    ydon’ twant
    tohurty oursist
    er,mat teroffact,Il
    oveher .If
    ell
    i
    nl ovewi t
    hhert hefirsttimeImetherandf r
    om
    there,shehasal way sbeent heonebutIam
    growingandmyagemat eshav ekids.Iam not
    cheati
    ngf orloveandIwoul dneverdivorcemy
    wife,t
    hat ’
    saf act,
    allIwanti sachi l
    d.”
    “Shei
    shur
    ti
    ng,
    shedoesn’
    tshowi
    tbutIcan
    seeit
    .”
    “
    Iknowshei sandit
    ’sstr
    essingherout.The
    minuteIgetachi
    ld,
    Iwill
    bri
    ngt hatchi
    l
    dandI
    wi
    llrai
    sethatchi
    l
    dwi t
    hher.”
    “Andthewomany
    ouar
    esl
    eepi
    ngwi
    thwi
    l
    l
    agreetot
    hat
    ?”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lpayher
    .”
    Lonasshookherhead.“ Youar eev entuall
    y
    goingtol oveherandy ouwon’ tstopcheat ing
    withher,y ouwil
    lalwaysgobackf ormor e
    chi
    ldrenandLi nawi l
    lalway scr y
    ,shewi l
    lturn
    i
    ntoabi tterwomanandwon’ tevenl ov ethose
    ki
    ds.Thatwomanandt hosechi ldrenwi l
    lbe
    yourli
    ttl
    ef amil
    y.From theremysi sterwon’ t
    havev al
    uet oyou,youwi l
    l t
    ur nintoanabusi v
    e
    monst ertoherbecausey ouwi llrealizethatshe
    i
    sofnouset oyou.Shewi l
    lgetsodepr essed
    andmay bekil
    lherselforhur tyouort hose
    ki
    ds.”
    Tendai
    lookedatherf
    orawhi
    l
    e.“
    Idon’
    tknow
    whattodoany
    more.Il
    ovemywi
    feLonasbutI
    don’
    tknowwhatt
    odo.”
    “
    My abegetasurr
    ogat
    e.Apr
    opersur
    rogat
    e.
    Wit
    hacont r
    actandal
    l
    .”
    “Thatcanwor
    kbutyoursi
    sterref
    used.Unless
    i
    t’ssomeonesheknowsandtrusts.Idon’
    t
    know.Maybeyou.
    ”
    “
    Ihav
    enev
    erhadki
    dsbef
    ore.
    ”
    “
    Youareper
    fect
    ,itwi
    l
    lbey
    ourf
    ir
    stchi
    l
    dandI
    wi
    ll
    payyou.
    ”
    “
    Shewon’
    tagr
    ee.
    ”
    “
    Shewon’
    thav
    etoknowt
    il
    lthebabyi
    sher
    e.”
    Lonasshookherhead.“
    No…shewoul
    dbe
    hurt
    .”
    “Butt
    hebabywoul dbetherealr
    eadyandIdon’ t
    needtohavearelati
    onshipwit
    hy ou.Withyouit
    wil
    lbedif
    fer
    entthanitiswithMapula.Iwillend
    i
    twithMapulai
    mmedi at
    ely,
    Iwil
    lbel oy
    al t
    o
    y
    oursi
    ster
    ,thi
    ngswil
    lgobacktonormal
    .When
    t
    hebabyarr
    ives,
    shewil
    lunder
    stand.
    ”
    “
    Ihav
    enev
    erev
    enhadsexbef
    ore.
    ”
    “
    That’
    sok,i
    tmeansy ouar
    ecl
    ean,
    Iam cl
    ean
    t
    oo.It
    estedtoday
    .”
    Hetookouthi
    scar
    dandhandedi
    ttoher
    .“Iam
    negat
    ive.
    ”
    “
    Tendai
    Ican’
    tbet
    raymysi
    sterl
    i
    ket
    hat
    .”
    “Youar edoi
    ngi tf
    orher ,youarehelpingher.I
    wi l
    lpayyou.Iwill
    renty ouahouse, separat
    e
    from Li
    nasot hatshedoesn’ tsuspect,andIwill
    takecareofy ou.Financial
    ly
    .Whent hebaby
    arri
    ves,Iwil
    lgiveyouP40. 000.”
    Lonashear
    tpoundedasshelookedathi
    m.She
    coul
    ddoal otoft
    hingswi
    thP40.000.
    “
    Youcanl
    i
    vet
    hel
    i
    feLi
    nai
    sli
    vi
    ng.Ipr
    omi
    se
    y
    ou.
    ”
    “
    But
    …”
    Tendai
    hel
    dherwai
    st.“
    Nobut
    s.”
    “
    Whati
    fyoudon’
    tbreakupwi
    thMapul
    aandt
    ry
    y
    ourl
    uckwit
    hbothofus?”
    “
    Letmebr
    eakupwi
    thhernow.
    ”
    Hetookouthi
    sphoneandcal
    l
    edMapul
    a
    put
    ti
    ngonloudspeaker
    .
    “
    Babe…”
    “
    MapulaIdon’
    tthi
    nkIcandot
    hisany
    mor
    e.I
    wantt
    obreakup.”
    “
    Babewhatar
    eyout
    alki
    ngabout
    ?”
    “Ihav
    edecidedtofi
    xthi
    ngswithmywife.I
    wouldappreci
    atei
    fyoudon’
    tcommunicatewi
    th
    me.By e.
    ”HehungupandblockedMapula’
    s
    number .
    “
    Ther
    e.Tr
    ustme.
    ”
    Heleanedoverandki
    ssedhersof
    tl
    y.Lonas
    droppedhi
    stesti
    ngcardki
    ssi
    nghim backas
    Tendaicar
    essedherbody.
    “
    Wait
    …myboy
    fri
    endr
    ubbedhi
    msel
    fonme,
    may
    beI-
    “
    “
    Don’
    twor
    ryaboutt
    hat
    .Wewi
    l
    ltestagai
    n
    t
    omorr
    ow.
    ”
    “
    But
    -“
    Tendaicutheroffwithakiss.Hetookof fhert-
    shi
    rtexposingherpeckyfullbr
    eastthenhe
    massagedt hem wit
    hasl i
    ghtgroan.Het wisted
    herni
    pplest i
    l
    ltheybecamehar dwhilekissing
    herneck.Lonasmoanedsof t
    ly,
    Thami nev erdi
    d
    i
    tli
    kethat.Tendaipickedherupandpl acedher
    onthebedt henpull
    eddownhershor t
    sand
    panti
    esexposinghershavedpussy .
    “
    Fuck!
    ”
    Hepar t
    edherlegsandl eanedoverrunninghis
    tongueonherclit.Lonasmoanedsof tl
    ycall
    ing
    outhisname.Tendai wentfullf
    orce,l
    icki
    ngand
    suckingherwhil
    eshemov edherwaist
    squeezingherbreast.Helookedatheropening,
    i
    twascompl etelycl osedof f,nothinghadbeen
    i
    nsi deherandi tgav ehi mt hepridet hathewas
    goingt obeherf i
    rst.Hest oodupt akingoff
    shirtfoll
    owedbyhi spant sandst rokedhi sdick
    staringather.Lonasf ear f
    ul l
    ystaredathi sdick
    wonder i
    ngifitwasgoi ngt ohur t,shehadhear d
    thatitalwayshur tthef irstt i
    meunl essshe
    relaxed.Shelayst i
    ll
    , r
    el axinghermuscl eswhi l
    e
    staringathim st rokinghi msel f
    .Her ubbedhis
    dickonhercl itmaki nghersof t
    lymoan.She
    tookadeepbr eathasheopenedherl egseven
    mor et henpressedt het i
    pofhi sdi ckonher
    ent r
    anceand-#r emov ed.
    .
    Tendaimov edabitfast
    erthrusti
    nghisenti
    re
    dicki
    nsideherwhileLonasmoanedsof t
    lyi
    nhis
    earsi
    nkinghershortnail
    sinhisskin.Her
    musclestight
    enedonhi m squeezi
    nghisdickas
    shecamewi t
    haprolongedsof tmoan.Tendai
    gaveheracouplemor estrokesandf r
    ozeinsi
    de
    her
    ,rel
    easi
    nghi
    sseedsi
    nsi
    deher
    .
    “
    Fuck…”
    Hekissedherl i
    psrestinginsi
    deherwar mtight
    pussy.Secondslater
    , heslowlysl
    idoutwhile
    shewhi mperedattheempt i
    nessheleftbehind.
    Lonas’sheartski
    ppedasshehear dthemai n
    doorclosing.Shequicklygotoffbedandpicked
    hercl
    ot hes.
    “
    Lina!
    ”
    Tendail
    ockedthedoort
    henpul
    l
    edof
    fthebl
    ood
    st
    ainedcover
    soffthebed.
    “
    Come.
    ”
    Hewal kedtotheclosethol
    dingthecov ersand
    hi
    dherbehi ndhissuit
    estogetherwiththebed
    covers.Hewentbackt othebedroom and
    qui
    cklyputonhi sclot
    hesandspr ayedhimself
    andtheentireroom wit
    hhisperfume.Linat r
    ied
    openingthedoorasheunl ockedit.Shelooked
    athim andsmiled.
    “Hey…y ouareher
    e?Iwenttoseey
    ourpar
    ent
    s.
    Ibroughtfood,
    areyouhungr
    y?”
    Tendai
    smi
    l
    ed.“
    Yeah.Iam hungr
    y.”
    Shelookedathi
    m surpr
    ised.“
    Ok,Iwi
    lldi
    shup.
    ”
    Shewalkedinsi
    dethebedroom andl
    ookedat
    thebed.
    “
    Wher
    ear
    ethebedcov
    ers?
    ”
    “
    Ispi
    l
    ledwi
    neont
    hem.Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    Surpr
    isedatt
    hesuddenchange,
    Linasmi
    l
    ed.
    “I
    t’
    sok.Iwil
    lsor
    tthem out
    .”
    Shenot i
    cedthepaperonherdressingtable
    addressedwithhernameandreachedf orit
    thenread.Shecli
    ckedhert
    onguet eari
    ngt he
    l
    etterthenwalkedoutt
    odishforTendai .

    *
    **
    Laterthatdayatthemal l
    ,Abewalkedoutofa
    clot
    hingshopwi thMalcolm whowasdr essed
    l
    ikehim, theyact
    uall
    ylookedli
    kefatherandson.
    Theywal kedbacktothecarandputt he
    shoppingbagshewashol di
    ngintheboott hen
    staredatMal col
    m’safro.
    “
    Ok,
    wear
    egoi
    ngt
    othebar
    bernow.
    ”
    “
    Wear
    egoi
    ngt
    ocutourhai
    r?”
    “
    Yeah.Let
    ’sgo.
    ”
    Theywalkedtot
    hesalonandgoti
    nasalady
    walkedovert
    othedoorhol
    dingt
    hekey
    s.
    “
    Hi,
    wear
    ecl
    osed.
    ”
    Abelookedaround.“
    Can’ty
    ougi
    vemyboya
    hai
    rcut
    ,Iwil
    lpayextr
    a.”
    Thel
    adyl
    ookedathi
    ssonthenbackathi
    m.“
    Ok,
    buty
    ouar
    epayingti
    mestwo.”
    Abesmi
    l
    ed.“
    That
    ’sokwi
    thme.
    ”
    “
    Comewi
    thhi
    m.”
    Abetookhert
    othel
    adyandhel
    pedhi
    m ont
    he
    chai
    r.
    “
    Iwantust
    ohav
    esi
    mil
    arcut
    s.”
    “
    Ok,
    li
    key
    our
    s?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    lcuthi
    sandr
    e-def
    iney
    our
    s.”
    “
    Great
    .”
    Awhil
    elat
    ert
    hesalonl
    adyst
    eppedback
    st
    ari
    ngatbot
    hofthem.
    “
    Iam done.
    ”
    Abelookedathi
    msel
    font
    hemi
    rr
    orandsmi
    l
    ed.
    “Youarereal
    l
    ygood.
    ”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    Hetookouthi
    swal
    l
    etandhandedheracoupl
    e
    ofnot
    es.
    “
    Thanky
    ousomuch,
    what
    ’sy
    ourname?
    ”
    “
    Syl
    vanel
    l
    a.“
    “
    Ist
    hatengl
    i
    sh?
    ”
    “
    No,
    butcal
    lmeSy
    lvi
    a.”
    Abechuckl
    ed.“
    Ngng,
    what
    ’sy
    ournameagai
    n?”
    Sy
    lvi
    alaughed.“
    Leav
    emesal
    on.
    ”
    “
    Syl
    vanel
    l
    a?Yout
    urnedEngl
    i
    shi
    ntoSet
    swana?
    ”
    “
    Go!Leav
    emysal
    on.
    ”
    Sy
    lviapushedhim outt
    henwal
    kedoutwi
    th
    Malcol
    m andlockedthesal
    ondoor
    s.
    “
    Bye!
    ”
    “Wai
    t…Iam sor
    ry.Iam Abedi
    l
    e,Ihav
    eanor
    mal
    name.Thi
    sisMalcolm,wehavenormal
    names.
    ”
    Syl
    vi
    asmackedhi
    sshoul
    derpl
    ayf
    ull
    ylaughi
    ng.
    “Mynamei
    snormalt
    oo.”
    “
    Iknow.
    ”
    “
    Youandy
    oursonl
    ookal
    i
    ke.
    ”
    Abesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Real
    l
    y?”
    “
    Yeah.Andyouaredoi
    ngwel
    lwheni
    tcomest
    o
    f
    ather
    hood.By
    e.”
    “
    CanIgi
    vey
    ouali
    ft
    ?Justt
    othankyouf
    or
    maki
    ngmeandmyboyl
    ookgood.”
    “
    Uhhsur
    e.”
    “
    Wearegoi
    ngtogetf
    oodf
    ir
    st,
    youcancome
    wi
    thorwai
    tint
    hecar
    .”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lcomewi
    th.Youl
    ookf
    ami
    l
    iar
    …”
    “
    Mal
    c,whatdoy
    ouwantt
    oeat
    ?”
    Mal
    col
    m smi
    l
    ed.“
    Nandos.
    ”
    AbeheldMalcom’shandwal
    ki
    ngt
    oNandos
    thenr
    epli
    edSylv
    ia.“
    NoIdon’
    t.
    ”
    “
    Youdo,y
    oul
    ookl
    iket
    hisfootbal
    l
    erwa
    Mot
    swanaokomahat
    seng.”
    Abel
    aughed.“
    Idon’
    tknowhi
    m.”
    “
    Hisnamei
    sAbe.Youar
    ehi
    m.”
    “
    Whyar
    eyouscr
    eami
    ng?
    ”
    Syl
    vial
    aughed.“
    Mybrot
    herwon’
    tbel
    i
    evet
    his,
    I
    needtotakeasel
    fi
    ewit
    hyou.
    ”
    TheywalkedinsideNandosandimmedi
    atel
    y
    Malcol
    m pointedwhathewanted.
    “HeyMal colm,canIt i
    ey ourshoel aces?You
    willf
    all
    .”Shecr ouchedandt iedhisshoel aces
    asAbeor deredhi smeal .Sylvi
    asmi l
    edst ar
    ing
    athisson, hewassohandsomeandcl ean,l
    ike
    thekidst heyusedoncommer cial
    s.She
    wonder edwher ehismot herwasbutofcause
    thatwasnotherbusi ness.Shest oodupasAbe
    gotthemeal andtheyall walkedoutt othecar.
    Hehel pedhi sonatt hebackseat ,
    secur i
    ngwi t
    h
    theseat beltthenopenedt hepassengerdoor
    forher.
    Shesmil
    edlooki
    ngdownunabl
    etol
    ookr
    ight
    i
    ntohi
    seyes.“Thanks.
    ”
    Abeclosedthedoorf
    orhert
    henwal
    kedr
    ound
    thecarandgotin.
    *
    **

    MeanwhileIspott
    edAbeget tingintohiscar
    aft
    eropeningthedoorforaladyandl i
    mped
    overwhil
    eangerbuil
    tup.Iappr oachedt hecar
    j
    ustashest ar
    tedtheengine,Mal col
    m
    screamedmynameexci t
    edly.Iignoredhim and
    openedAbe’sdoor.
    “Soal
    readyy
    ouareparadi
    ngwithmyson
    showi
    nghim of
    ftoyourgi
    rl
    fr
    iends?
    ”
    Abel ookedatmesilent
    ly.Angerconsumedme
    Iopenedmymout htospeakbutr athertears
    randowncheeksasmyemot ionstookov er.He
    sighedandsteppedoutoft hecarpulli
    ngmei n
    hisarmswhi l
    eIbrokedowncr yingloudl
    y .

    Sy
    lvi
    ast
    aredatt
    hewomancr
    yingandsi
    ghed,
    probabl
    yshewashisbabymamaorgi
    rlf
    ri
    end.
    Shethought
    ful
    l
    ylookedatt
    hem t
    hent
    urned
    backtoMalcol
    m.
    “
    Mal
    c,Iam goi
    ng.I
    twasni
    cemeet
    ingy
    ou.
    ”
    Henoddedt
    henshest
    eppedoutoft
    hecarand
    wal
    kedaway.

    *
    **

    Itookadeepbr
    eathst
    eppi
    ngbackf
    rom him
    nowquiet
    ,hesmil
    edwipi
    ngawaymytears.
    “Iam notpar
    adingwi
    thMalcshowi
    nghim offt
    o
    mygirlf
    ri
    ends.Shei
    sourbarber
    .Ij
    ustof
    fered
    heralif
    t.
    ”
    Ilookeddownembarr
    assedbymyout
    bur
    st
    thenhelookedatmyfoot
    .
    “
    Thatneedst
    ober
    e-bandaged.Let
    ’sgo.
    ”
    Het ur
    nedt ohiscarandfrownednotseeing
    Sylvi
    a.Hepi ckedmeupandputmei nthecar
    thenstrappedmewi t
    htheseatbel
    t.Hegotback
    i
    nt hecarandsmi led.
    “
    Youl
    ookv
    eryugl
    ywheny
    oucr
    y.”
    “
    Mxm,
    Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evey
    out
    ookmysonl
    i
    ket
    hat
    .”
    “
    Can’
    tyouappr
    eci
    ateme?Hel
    ooksdi
    ff
    erent
    .”
    It
    urnedbacktoMal
    col
    m whowaseat
    ingoi
    l
    ing
    hi
    snewclothes.
    “
    Mal
    c,eatpr
    oper
    ly.
    ”
    “
    Eazi
    ,don’
    tspoi
    lourmoods.Pl
    ease.
    ”
    Isi
    ghedandkeptqui
    et.Hedr
    oveawayt
    hen
    sl
    oweddownr ol
    l
    ingdownhiswi
    ndowand
    l
    ookedatthewomanwhohadbeeninhiscar
    .
    “
    Syl
    vi
    a,l
    et’
    sgo.
    ”
    Shel
    ookedatmet
    henAbe.“
    It
    ’sf
    ine,
    Iknowmy
    way.
    ”
    “
    Let
    ’sgo.
    ”
    Shelookedatmeagai
    nthensmi
    l
    edget
    ti
    ngi
    n.
    “Thanks.
    ”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #8

    Abepar
    kedinf
    rontofSy
    lvi
    a’
    syar
    dthenshe
    st
    eppedout
    .
    “Thanky
    ou.Youandy
    oursonshoul
    dal
    way
    s
    comeback.
    ”
    “
    Wewi
    l
    l.
    ”
    Hedroveoffasshewalkedi
    nsi
    dethey
    ard.I
    r
    eachedfortheshoppi
    ngbagsatt
    heback
    stari
    ngatMal colm whohaddosedof fwitha
    chickenpiecei nhishand.Itookaserviet
    teand
    tookthechi ckenpiecefrom him,puti
    tbackin
    theNandosbagt henwipedhismout hand
    hands.Hel ookedsocl eanandhandsome, he
    hadn’tlookedl i
    kethati
    nt helongestt
    ime.With
    asmi le,Iwentt hr
    oughtheexpensiveclothes
    andshoes.
    Il
    ookedatAbeashedrov
    e.“
    Thesear
    e
    beaut
    if
    ul.Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    ewel
    come.
    ”
    Iputbackt
    heshoppi
    ngbagsandsighed.“
    You
    candropmeoffatMmaK’shouse.Iwil
    lst
    ay
    wit
    hherfornow.
    ”
    Helookedather
    .“Ial
    readybookedal
    odgef
    or
    us.
    ”
    “AbeIreal
    lyappreciateever
    ythi
    ngy oudi
    dfor
    met odaybutplease…dr opmeof fatMmaK’s
    house.Idon’
    tknowy outhatmucht obe
    sl
    eepi
    ngi
    nlodgeswi
    thy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Whati
    fhecomest
    her
    e?”
    “
    Hewon’
    t.
    ”
    “Idon’tt
    hinkyoushouldgotoday,Ihav
    e
    bookedussepar ateroomsifyouarescar
    edI
    willdoanythi
    nginappropr
    iat
    etoyou.”
    “JustdropmeoffatMmaK’
    shouse,If
    eel
    mor
    e
    saferther
    e.Shei
    sli
    kemymother
    .”
    “
    Iwoul
    dnev
    erhur
    tyou.
    ”
    “Idon’
    tknowyou,youar
    egoodasastr
    angert
    o
    me, pl
    easedon’
    tfi
    ghtmeandj
    ustdr
    opmeof f
    atMmaK’ shouse.
    ”
    Def
    eat
    ed,
    hesi
    ghedandchangedr
    out
    es.
    “
    Ihopey
    oudon’
    tmakemer
    egr
    ett
    his.
    ”
    “Hewon’tdoany t
    hinginfrontofMmaK, andI
    woul
    dappr eci
    ateifyoujuststoppedj
    udgingme
    andmindedy ourownbusi ness.
    ”
    “
    Whydoy
    oukeepgoi
    ngbackt
    ohi
    m?”
    “
    Youdon’
    tunder
    stand.
    ”
    “
    IknowIdon’
    t,
    that
    ’swhyIaskedy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’st
    oocompl
    i
    cat
    ed.
    ”
    “Tr
    yme, y
    oucanal
    way
    sleav
    e.Howl
    onghashe
    beenbeati
    ngy
    ou?”
    “
    Heonl
    ysl
    appedmeandt
    hatwasonce.
    ”
    “Whyareyouly
    ingtoprot
    ectt
    hatbast
    ard?I
    knowit
    ’sbeengoingonforawhi
    le.
    ”
    “
    Youwon’
    tunder
    stand.
    ”
    “Thathetakesouthi sfrustr
    ationsony ou?You
    deservebetterthanthat.Ormay bey ouwill
    real
    izethatafterhekil
    lsyou.Yourfami lywil
    l
    takeyourchildandtheywi ll
    treathi
    m exact l
    y
    howt heytreatedyou.May betheny ouwi l
    lbe
    sati
    sfied.
    ”
    Ikeptquietl
    ooki
    ngoutthr
    oughthewindow,
    a
    whil
    elaterheparkedofMmaK’sgate.I
    steppedoutwhi l
    ehegotoutandt ookMalcol
    m
    whowassl eeping.Igr
    abbedt heNandosand
    shoppingbagst henwalkedwiththem i
    nsi
    de
    theyard.MmaKopenedt hedoorevenbef
    oreI
    couldknockthenshesmi led.
    “
    Eazi
    …”
    Shel
    ookedatMal
    col
    m whowassl
    eepi
    ng.
    “
    Comewi t
    hhimthiswaymyboy.
    ”Het ookher
    i
    nsi
    det hehousewhil
    eIfol
    l
    owedbehindthem.
    Heplacedheronthebedandcover
    edhim wit
    h
    t
    heblanketswhil
    eMmaKwal kedout.Abe
    l
    ookedatme.
    “
    Don’
    tgoback.Pl
    ease.Forhi
    m.Hest
    il
    lneeds
    y
    ou.Ok?
    ”
    Inodded.
    “
    Youaregoi
    ngback,
    aren’
    tyou?Whatwi
    l
    lit
    t
    akef
    oryoutol
    eavehim?”
    “
    Abe,
    youshoul
    dleav
    e.”
    “
    Iam t
    ryi
    ngt
    ohel
    pyou.
    ”
    “
    Inev
    eraskedf
    ory
    ourhel
    p.”
    Abeshookhi
    shead.“Hei
    sgoi
    ngtoki
    l
    lyou,he
    wasrunni
    ngaft
    eryouwit
    hakni
    fe,
    hewantedto
    st
    abyou.”
    “Ishouldn’
    thav ebeent al
    kingt oyoui nthefir
    st
    place.Willyoujustleavemeal one?Mysoni s
    noty ourson,stopgoi ngaroundt ell
    i
    ngpeopl e
    thatheisy ours.Wedon’ tknowy ou,youar e
    nothingbutast rangertomeandy ouwi ll
    alway sbeone.Leav emeal one.”
    Helookedatmef
    orawhi
    l
    ethensi
    ghed.“
    Ok.
    ..
    by
    e.”
    Iwat
    chedhi
    m walkoutasIsatonthebed
    st
    ari
    ngatMalcol
    m whowassleepi
    ng.

    *
    **
    Lonassatonthehotelbedwit
    hahugesmil
    eon
    herface.Whowouldeverknewonedayshe
    wouldsleepi
    nahotel.Tendai
    walkedi
    nand
    l
    ookedather.
    “
    Ior
    der
    eddi
    nnerf
    ory
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Youdi
    dn’
    thav
    eto,
    Iam st
    il
    lful
    l
    .”
    “
    Ok,
    Iwil
    lcancelbutyoucanal
    way
    scal
    lthem i
    f
    y
    ouwantanythi
    ng.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hewal
    kedoverandki
    ssedher.“
    Youwi
    l
    lst
    ay
    her
    eti
    l
    lIf
    indahouseforyou.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hishandwentt oherpussyt
    henhet ouchedher
    ashisdickjerkedinhispant
    s.Hisphone
    vibr
    atedinhispocketthenhesteppedback
    taki
    ngitout.
    “
    Ihav
    etogo.Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lony
    ou.
    ”
    Hewal
    kedoutanswer
    ingt
    henLonasgother
    newphoneandswi
    pedt
    hescr
    eenwi
    thasmi
    l
    e.

    *
    **

    Tendaigoti
    nhiscaranddroveoutoft
    he
    parki
    nglott
    alki
    ngtohisbr
    other
    .
    “
    Wear
    eal
    readywai
    ti
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Iam al
    mostt
    her
    e.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hehungupandspedawaycal
    l
    ingMapul
    a.
    “
    Didn’
    tyousayy
    oudon’
    twantmeany
    mor
    e?”
    “
    Linat
    oldmypar
    ent
    s,Ihadt
    oact
    .Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    Mapul
    asi
    ghed.“
    Ireal
    lyt
    houghty
    ouwer
    e
    br
    eaki
    ngupwit
    hme. ”
    “
    Iwoul
    dnev
    er,
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo,
    arey
    oucomi
    ngt
    oni
    ght
    ?”
    “No,Iam meet
    ingupwi
    thmybr
    other
    sfor
    dri
    nks.”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lseey
    out
    omor
    rowt
    hen?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    Tendaihungupanddr ov
    einsi
    dethebar
    .
    Parkng,hesteppedoutl
    ocki
    nghi
    scarand
    walkedinsi
    det hebar
    .Ti
    nosmil
    edashewalked
    over.
    “
    Final
    l
    y!”
    “
    Wher
    eisAbe?
    ”
    “
    Ther
    e…”
    Tendai
    tur
    nedtoAbewhowaswal ki
    ngov
    er.
    Theyal
    lfi
    stbumpedandsatdown.
    “Forsomeonewhoj
    ustr
    etur
    ned,
    youar
    ebar
    ely
    sit
    ti
    ngdown.”
    Ti
    nochuckl
    ed.“
    Hei
    sacel
    ebr
    it
    ythi
    sone.
    ”
    “
    Iwassor
    ti
    ngoutsomet
    hing.Ineedadr
    ink.
    ”
    Ti
    noraisedhi
    shandthenawai
    terbr
    oughtthe
    dr
    inkshehadorder
    ed.Abel
    ookedathi
    m and
    l
    aughed.
    “
    Cal
    lmeLegend.
    ”
    Abegul
    peddownhi
    sdr
    inkasTendai
    lookedat
    hi
    m.
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngonwi
    thy
    ou?
    ”
    “
    Ibr
    okemyl
    eg.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “Yeah,
    It’
    sfi
    nenowbuti
    tget’
    spai
    nful
    whenI
    am int
    hef i
    eldf
    oral
    ongti
    me.”
    Ti
    nosi
    ghed.“
    Fuck.
    ”
    “
    Idon’tknowi
    fev
    erIwi
    l
    lgobacki
    nsi
    det
    he
    f
    iel
    d.”
    “
    Whatdi
    dthephy
    siot
    her
    api
    stsay
    ?”
    “
    ThatIwi
    l
    lbef
    ine,
    justneedmor
    eti
    me.Ij
    ust
    hopeIwi
    l
    lbegoodi
    nti
    mef
    ort
    hegames.
    ”
    Tendainodded.“
    Yeah.Whereist
    hatgi
    rl
    fr
    iend
    ofyours?It
    houghtyousai
    dy ouwant
    edto
    marryher.
    ”
    “
    Webr
    okeupwhenIcameher
    e.”
    Tinosshrugged.“Whatdoy ouexpect?Such
    girl
    sarethetypetoleavewhent hi
    ngsgets
    tough.Butthat’
    snottheissue,
    whoi sthatgi
    rl
    youwer ewithtoday
    ? ”
    “
    Eazi
    .
    ”
    “
    Youwer
    ewi
    thagi
    rl
    ?”
    “
    Yeah.Hebr
    oughtherhome.
    ”
    “
    Shei
    sjustaf
    ri
    end.
    ”
    Ti
    nol
    aughed.“
    Ithoughtshewasapr
    ost
    it
    ute.
    ”
    Abeglaredathim.“
    Iwil
    lfucky
    ouup,doIl
    ook
    l
    ikeIbangprosti
    tut
    esorevenbri
    ngt
    hem t
    o
    meetmymot her
    ?”
    “
    Sol
    etmegetthisst
    rai
    ght
    ,youwantt
    hisgi
    rl
    y
    oupr
    obabl
    yjustmet?I
    sn’
    titt
    oosoon?”
    AbelookedatTendai .“Idon’twanther
    ,Ij
    ust
    wantedt ohelpherbutnowIseeIhav e
    compl et
    elytur
    nedmyat tent
    iontoacomplet
    e
    str
    angerandherpr oblemsandshedoesn’ t
    evenappr eci
    atei
    t.Iwantt obuyaplotandstar
    t
    buil
    ding.
    ”

    *
    **

    Li
    nascrol
    ledt
    hroughherf
    acebookt
    hencame
    acr
    ossapost.Shecopi
    edthenumberand
    cal
    ledi
    t.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Hi
    ,Ij
    ustsawyournumberonf
    acebook,
    you
    sti
    l
    lsel
    ltheVi
    agra?
    ”
    “
    Yesmam,
    doy
    ouwant
    ?”
    “
    Yes.Toni
    ght
    .”
    “Ok,wherecanwemeet
    ?Ihav
    eonl
    ytwo
    satchet
    sleft
    .”
    “Wher
    ear
    eyou?I
    fyouar
    einGabor
    oneIcan
    cometoy
    ou.
    ”
    “Ok,
    Iwil
    lsendyoumyl
    ocat
    ionj
    ustnow.You
    sawthepri
    ceri
    ght?
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    Iam br
    ingi
    ngt
    hemoney
    .”
    Li
    nahungupandr ecei
    vedt
    helocat
    ion.She
    smil
    edputt
    ingonhershoesandwalkedout
    wit
    hhercarkeys.

    *
    **

    Somewher
    einGabor
    one,
    Linapar
    kedhercar
    andwal
    kedovert
    oaman.
    “
    Hi,
    Lukas?
    ”
    “Yes.”Hetookoutt
    hepi
    l
    lsandhandedt
    hem t
    o
    her.Linagavehi
    mthemoney.
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Lukasimmediatel
    ywal
    kedawayasshegot
    backinhercaranddr
    oveoff
    .

    *
    **

    Lebothalaidasleepont hef l
    oorwhilet heother
    ki
    dssl eptonthebed.Shet ookadeepbr eath
    cl
    osingherey estryi
    ngt osleepbutshehad
    beenf eel
    inguneasy .Maybei twashowwas
    Kabelohadgr opedherasswhenshewas
    cookingdinnerinthekitchenwhi lehermot her
    watchedTV.Thef earinherdi dn’
    tallowhert o
    sl
    eep.Herhear tskippedast hedoorknob
    mov ed,sheseriouslywonder edwhyt hedoors
    di
    dn’thav ealock.Amal efigur ewalkedinand
    l
    ookedatt hebed,herheartst art
    edpoundi ng
    evenmore,shecoul
    dhavetakenthatknif
    eli
    ke
    shehadplannedontaki
    ng.Kabel
    owal kedover
    toherwhil
    eshesatupreadytoscream.Heput
    hiskni
    feonherthr
    oat.
    “I
    fyoumakenoi
    se,
    Iwil
    lki
    l
    lyouandthr
    owyour
    bodysof
    arawaynoonewil
    lev
    erfi
    ndyou.
    ”
    “
    Leav
    emeal
    one!
    ”
    “
    Youaremaki ngnoi
    se,t
    hisi
    smyhouseandI
    wi
    ll
    doany t
    hingIwantbecausey
    ouareeat
    ing
    myfood.
    ”
    Tearsfi
    l
    ledherey esasshel
    ookedathi
    m,
    real
    it
    ysett
    ingin.Hadshecomeheretobe
    rapedbyaf ul
    lgrownman?
    “
    Youar
    egoi
    ngt
    oli
    edownl
    i
    keagoodgi
    rl
    .”
    “Mama! ”Lebot
    hascreamed, Kabel
    osl apped
    heracrossthefacebutLebothascreamed
    agai
    n.Shepushedhi m offandranoutoft he
    room,headedforthemai ndoorsti
    llscreaming.
    Kabelofoll
    owedafterherunzippi
    nghispants.
    “
    Noonei
    sgoi
    ngt
    osav
    eyou.
    ”
    Shelookedaroundforthecarkeysand
    scr
    eamedf orhermot herwhojustwasn’
    t
    comingforherrescue.Kabel
    oslappedherev
    en
    har
    deracrosstheface.
    “
    Iam nowgoi
    ngt
    oki
    l
    lyou.
    ”
    “
    Mama!
    ”
    Heputhi shandsonherneckst rangli
    ngher .
    Lebot hatri
    edpushinghim offbuthewasj ust
    toost rongfor,
    shegaspedf ail
    i
    ngt obreath,she
    slowlybecameweakandsl idtot hefl
    oor.He
    wentdownwi t
    hherwithhishandsonherneck
    squeezi ngtheli
    feoutofhertil
    lshestopped
    fi
    ght i
    ngandj ustl
    aymot i
    onless.Heslowlyl et
    got henpulledoutherpantiesgetti
    ngont opof
    herbr eathi
    ngheavil
    y.

    *
    **
    Intheearlymor ni
    ng,Icl osedmyey estr
    yingto
    sleepthenhear dasof tknockont hewindow.
    Myhear tskippedasIl istenedtotheknock,a
    smi l
    estart
    edonmyl ipsasIt houghtofAbe
    thenquicklywalkedtot hewi ndowandpeaked.
    Mysmi ledisappeared, Moemedi star
    edatme
    withbeggingey es.
    “
    Ijustwantt
    otal
    k.”
    Iopenedthewi
    ndowandlookedathi
    m.“Iwant
    nothi
    ngtodowit
    hyou.Iam donewit
    hyou.
    ”
    Henodded.“ Iknow,IknowIam t hewor stman
    youhav eev erbeenwith.Iam notev engoingto
    begy oubecauseIcan’ tbeuselessandst il
    l
    harassy ou.Youdeser v
    ebetter.Ijustcamet o
    giveyoubacky ourphoneandt ellyouthat
    everythi
    ngisi nthehouse.Event hemoney .I
    don’tdeserveitsamewayIdon’ tdeserveyou.I
    call
    edThat o,whenwegetpai d,allt
    hemoney
    wil
    lcomet oyou,aftereverythi
    ngy ouhaveput
    up,youdeserveit
    .Mal colm deserv
    esabet ter
    fat
    her,Ican’
    teventakegoodcar eofhim andI
    knowy ouwil
    lfindther i
    ghtf
    ul per
    sonforhim.”
    Ilookedathi
    mtaki
    ngmyphone.“
    Wher
    ear
    e
    yougoing?”
    “
    Away
    .Takecar
    eofy
    our
    sel
    f.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    ougoi
    ngt
    oki
    l
    lyour
    sel
    f?”
    “Ican’tli
    veliket hisanymore,Iam turningint o
    themanInev erwant edtoturnto.Ilovey ouso
    muchandev eryt imeIgetsoscar edthatIam
    goingt olosey ou.Nott hatIwouldblamey ou,
    noonewi llstayf orwhatyouar estayi
    ngf or .I
    can’tcompet ewi thsomeonewhodr ivesaRS7.
    Ican’tli
    vewi thouty ouandt heonlywayt odoi t
    i
    si fIkil
    lmy self.Idon’tthi
    nkIcanwat chy ou
    withanot herman.I twouldslowlykil
    lme. ”
    “
    Youpr
    omi
    sednott
    oev
    erl
    ayy
    ourhandson
    me.
    ”
    “IknowandIkeepdisappoi
    nti
    ngyou.Idon’
    t
    wantt ohur
    tyou,Il
    oveyouso,somuch.Maybe
    that’
    swhyIactthewayIdo.ButIcanchange
    babe.”
    Ilookedathi
    m andsi
    ghed.“
    Youal
    way
    ssay
    that.
    ”
    “I
    fIdoitagai
    n,j
    ustl
    eave.Iwon’
    tevenstopyou.
    RightnowIcangoandreportmysel
    fforhi
    tt
    ing
    youifyouwant,
    Iwil
    lpayformysinstoshow
    youthatIhav
    echanged.”
    “
    Youwant
    edt
    oki
    l
    lme.
    ”
    “
    Ijustwant
    edtoscar
    eyoubutIunder
    standwhy
    y
    ouwoul dbel
    i
    eveIwoul
    dkil
    lyou.
    ”
    “Idon’
    twantthi
    srel
    ati
    onshi
    pany
    mor
    e,Ihav
    e
    hadenough.”
    “
    Iunder
    stand.Il
    ovey
    ou.
    ”
    Hewalkedawayf
    rom t
    hewi
    ndow.Icl
    osedi
    t
    andgotbacki
    nbedwit
    hmyson.
    *
    **

    Backathishouse, Moemedi re-cal


    ledt heAudi
    thathadparkedinf rontofhim earli
    eront oday.
    Thatmanwassor i
    chandhewasgoi ngt otake
    hisfamil
    yfrom him andt herewasnot hinghe
    coulddoaboutt hat.Tearsf i
    l
    ledhisey esashe
    wonderedwhyhehadev enraisedhishandat
    her,Godknowshowmuchhel ovedher .Every
    dayhelivedinfearofl osingher.Helooked
    aroundforaropet hent ookachai randwal ked
    outtothetreeoutside.
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe
    #8
    #r
    emov
    ed
    Her ubbedhi sdickonhercl i
    tmaki nghersof tly
    moan.Shet ookadeepbr eat hasheopenedher
    l
    egsev enmor ethenpr essedt het i
    pofhi sdick
    onherent ranceandpr essed.Lonaswhi mper ed
    i
    nsl ightdi
    scomf ort,Tendai pushedev enmor e
    try
    ingt ostretcht hr
    oughherent r
    ancebutshe
    wast i
    ghtl
    yclosed.Hepul ledhert ot heedgeof
    thebedput t
    ingheronel egonhershoul derand
    strokedhisdi ckbef orepr essi ngitagainather
    entrance,thistimemor efor ceful
    lythatherlittl
    e
    pussyopenedupandt het ipofhi sdickpopped
    i
    n.Herwar mnessandt ight nesspul l
    edhi m even
    mor eashest retchedhi swayi nt
    ohert i
    ghtness,
    hertinypussyst r et
    chingbey ond.
    “
    Tendai
    …”
    Heleanedov erandkissedherf
    orcinghi
    sdick
    i
    nsideher.Lonastri
    edt aki
    ngi
    tli
    keabiggir
    l but
    thepai
    nkepti ncr
    easingasheforcedhisdi
    ckin
    her.
    “
    Wai
    t…”
    “
    Shhh…”Heki
    ssedher
    .“Iam al
    mostdone.
    ”
    “
    Ngng,
    ithur
    ts…”
    “
    Wai
    t…”
    Hepi nnedherhandsont opofherheadand
    forcedmor eofhi sdickinsidehert il
    lhe
    stoppedcomi ngi ntothebar ri
    erinsideher.
    Lonasl ookedathi m withtearyey es,unabl
    eto
    holdit,Tendaiusedal lhi
    sst rengthandt hr
    ust
    i
    ntoher .Lonasscr eamedf linchingwhilehe
    groanedwi thpleasure,hertightnesssqueezing
    him somuchhecoul djustbur stri
    ghtthereand
    then.
    “
    Ahst
    op!
    ”
    “Lonas,youarenott
    helit
    tl
    egir
    l Iwast
    alki
    ngt
    o
    minutesback,youarenowawomanandy ou
    aregoingtohavetotakethi
    sdickli
    keawoman.
    Iam notgoingtobabyyou.”
    “
    Ngng,
    it’
    spai
    nful
    .”
    “I
    twil
    lbeoversoon,j
    ustrel
    ax.
    ”Heki
    ssedher
    bri
    efl
    ytheneasedoutofherbef
    oret
    hrust
    ing
    backinagai
    n.
    “
    Tendai
    …Iam goi
    ngt
    odi
    e.I
    t’
    spai
    nful
    .”
    Tear sfelltot hebedasTendai gavehert he
    gent l
    est rokes, easinghi sdi ckinandoutofher ,
    l
    et t
    inghert i
    ghtnessmassagehi m asher
    wet nesscoat edhi sdi ck.Shewassowar m,he
    keptgoi ngbacki nsi demov ingonlyhi swaist
    shower ingherwi tht hegent lest r
    okes.He
    l
    eanedov erandki ssedherneckwhi l
    ethrusti
    ng
    i
    nt oher .Lonasbr eat hedheav il
    yatt hesudden
    pleasuret hatcamewi ththepai n.Tendai ki
    ssed
    herassher elaxedt henhel ethehandsgoand
    caressedherbody .Hecoul dn’tbeli
    ev ehewas
    actuallyont opofav ir
    gin.Herpussygr eased
    hisdickev enmor emaki nghi mt hrustint
    oher
    evenmor e, hisspeedbegunchangi ng,hi
    s
    thrustcomi nginf ast eranddeeper .
    Lonasmov edherwai stmoaningsoftl
    y,t
    he
    fr
    ict
    ionofhisdickinsidehermadehercl oseher
    eyesmoaningev enmor e.Tendaiputherother
    l
    egonhi sshoulderthenheldherwaistand
    begandril
    li
    ngintoherast hepleasur
    egott oo
    i
    ntense.Hepushedherl egst
    ohershoulder s
    sl
    owi ngdownandwat chedhisdicksl
    idi
    ngi n
    andoutofher.
    “
    Ahhshi
    tyes!
    ”
    Hisdickcontinueddi
    sappear
    ingi
    nandoutof
    herwhilethatti
    ghtpussymil
    kedhim.Heletgo
    ofherlegsandgotont opofhersuppor
    ti
    nghis
    weight.
    “
    AhhTendai
    it’
    sgood…goodi
    t’
    ssogood.
    ”
    Sheputherhandsonhi sbicepscl
    osingher
    eyes,thepl
    easuremul t
    ipl
    iedwitheveryt
    hrust
    thatshemov edherwaistev enmore.Tendai
    mov edabitfastert
    hrusti
    nghisenti
    redick
    i
    nsideherwhi l
    eLonasmoanedsof t
    lyinhi
    sear
    sinkinghershortnai
    lsinhi
    sskin.Hermuscles
    ti
    ght enedonhim squeezi
    nghisdickasshe
    camewi thaprol
    ongedsoftmoan.Tendai gav
    e
    heracoupl emor estr
    okesandfrozeinsi
    deher,
    releasinghi
    sseedsinsideher
    .
    “
    Fuck…”
    Hekissedherl
    i
    psr
    est
    ingi
    nsi
    deherwar
    mti
    ght
    pussy.
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #9

    Theneighbor
    ’sdaughtery
    awnedwal ki
    ng
    out
    sidethenstr
    etchedwithhereyescl
    osed.
    Shetookoutherphoneandt ext
    edher
    boyf
    riendwal
    kingtothegatesti
    lli
    nher
    py j
    amas.Herboy fr
    iendrespondedt henshe
    smi l
    edwal kingoutoft hegateandcl osedit
    quietl
    y,Shel ookedov eratEazi’
    shouseand
    frownednot ici
    ngaf igureinthetree,shestared
    atthestil
    lfigureforawhi l
    easitswer ved
    around.Shecar ef
    ull
    yf i
    xedherey esatt het
    ree
    thennoticedt helegsdangl i
    ng.Al oudscream
    escapedherl i
    psassher anbackt ohergate.
    “
    Mama!
    ”
    Shetr
    ippedont heshinyver
    andafall
    ingonher
    facel
    osingatooth.Bloodfi
    ll
    edhermout has
    shestr
    uggledgetti
    ngup.Hermot herranout
    tyi
    ngherrobethenlookedatBina’
    sbl oody
    mouth.
    “
    Legodu?(
    Athi
    ef?
    )”
    Shespokewit
    hbl
    oodinhermouthpoi
    nti
    ngat
    Eazi
    ’
    shouse.“Oi
    kal
    edi
    tse.(
    Hehunghi
    mself
    .)
    ”
    Hermot
    her
    ’shear
    tski
    ppedassher
    anout
    .
    “
    Who?Eazi
    ?”
    “
    Moemedi
    !”
    Binarant ot heki tchenandgotakni fespi
    tti
    ng
    bloodi nthesi nk.Sher anoutf ol
    lowingafterher
    mot herwhowasscr eami ngf orhelprunni
    ng
    i
    nsideEazi ’sy ard.Binar anev enfasterand
    approachedt het reeandl ookedatMoemedi .
    Hel ookedl i
    feless, fr
    om t hewayhewas
    danglingshecoul dtelltherewasnosi gnofli
    fe.
    Shest oodont hechai randcuthi m off.
    Moemedi f
    ellwi thal oudt hud.Bina’smother
    rushedi nsi
    det hehousewhi l
    eBinacal l
    edthe
    ambul ance.Anot hernei ghborwal kedoutofher
    housei nhershor tnight dressandl ookedover.
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “
    Hehunghi
    msel
    f,Iam cal
    l
    inganambul
    ance.
    ”
    “
    Ihaveacar,Iam coming.
    ”Theneighbor
    r
    ushedbackinsideherhouseandwalkedout
    wi
    thhercarkeys.
    *
    **

    AtMmaK’ shouse,If
    ini
    shedmaki
    ngsoft
    porr
    idgeasMmaKwal kedi
    nsi
    detheki
    tchen,
    sheputherbi
    bledownandsatdownstari
    ngat
    me.
    “
    Goodmor
    ningma.CanIdi
    shf
    ory
    ou?
    ”
    “
    Nomygi
    rl
    ,si
    tdown.Iwantust
    otal
    k.”
    Isl
    owl
    ysatdownst
    ari
    ngather
    .
    “Forthelasttwoy ears,youhavet urnedi ntomy
    daughterandMal col
    m automat i
    callyt ur
    nedi nto
    mygr andson.Iam v eryashamedr i
    ghtnowt hat
    Iletmyemot ionsgett omeaf t
    erfailingto
    protectMalcolm.Iam v erysorry,
    Iam sor r
    yf or
    notbelievi
    ngy ou,Iam sorryfornotpr ot
    ecting
    him asIshouldhav einy ourabsence.Iknow
    nowi t’
    snowhar dforyout r
    ustmewi thhim and
    Iunderstand,Ifail
    edhim asaguar dianandIam
    sosor r
    y .
    ”
    “
    Ma,
    it’
    sok.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’snot
    .”
    “
    Weal
    lmakemi
    stakes.
    ”
    “Yeswedobutsomemi st
    akesarej usttoo
    much,nott hattheyareunfor
    givablebutt hey
    aretoomuchandweshoul dn’
    tent ert
    ainthem.I
    knowy ouar ewithMoemedi andt hathei s
    Malcolm’sfather.Ial
    soknowt haty ouhav e
    beenthroughsomuchwi t
    hhim, youhav e
    hist
    ory,butEazi,whenwi l
    li
    tstop?Forhowl ong
    will
    youmakeexcusesf orhisabuse? ”
    Il
    ookeddownt
    henshecont
    inued.
    “Thatmanwi llnev
    erstop,nomat terwhathe
    willneverstop,andoneday ,onedayhewi ll
    eit
    hercr i
    ppleyouorki l
    lyou.Wheredoest hat
    l
    eav eMal colm?Yousayhei smarryingyou,i
    s
    thi
    st hemany ouwantt omar r
    y?Themanwho
    doesn’tcareabouty ou?Themanwhodoesn’ t
    respectyouandbeat syouinfrontofyourchil
    d?
    Themanwhochasesy
    oui
    nthest
    reet
    s,i
    sthat
    hi
    m?”
    Tear
    sfi
    l
    ledmyey
    es.“
    Theyar
    egoi
    ngt
    omock
    me.”
    “Aren’ttheyalr
    eadymocki
    ngyou?Youcan’tdo
    thingstopleasepeopl
    eEazi,
    whatareyou?A
    celebrit
    ybecauseIknowthoseonesli
    veto
    pleasepeopl e.
    ”
    “
    Ijustwantt
    ohav
    eanor
    mal
    fami
    l
    y.”
    “Well
    ,ther
    ei snothi
    ngnormalaboutthekindof
    l
    ifeyouarelivi
    ng.Ther
    eisnothingnormal about
    i
    t,youareanabusedwomanandy ouneedt o
    walkaway .Youneedtowalkawayf oryourson.
    Hedoesn’tdeserveall
    thatishappeni
    ngbef ore
    hi
    sey es.Whatkindoffutur
    edoy outhi
    nkhei s
    goingtohav e?
    ”
    Tear
    srol
    l
    eddownmycheeks.
    “Iwanty
    out oputyour
    sel
    ffi
    rstandwalkaway
    .
    Enoughisenough.I
    fit
    ’sapl
    acey ouneed,
    my
    houseisal
    waysopent
    oyou.Youcancomeand
    stayt
    il
    lyouar
    esort
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Whowast hatf
    iney
    oungmany
    ouwer
    ewi
    th
    y
    est
    erday
    ?”
    “
    Ijustmethi
    m.”
    MmaKsmi l
    ed.“
    Heseemsl
    i
    keagoodman.
    Andhel
    ovesMalcol
    m.”
    Iwi
    pedawaymyt
    ear
    snoddi
    ng.
    “ButIdon’tthinkyouspoket ohim proper l
    y.
    Wor dsarelikehurri
    cane,theydest royandt hey
    can’tbetakenback.Oncet heyar eout,t
    heyar e
    out.Letmet el
    lyouasecr et,theyalwayssaygo
    forthemany oulovebutIsay ,gofortheman
    whol ovesy ou.Himlovingy ourchildisthe
    biggestbonusy oucanev ergetandy ouneedt o
    holdont ohi m.Thatmani sy ourhusbandand
    onedayy ouar egoingtosayIdot ohim, may be
    Iwon’tbet heretowitnessitbuty ouwi l
    l know
    t
    hatMmaKsai
    dthi
    sonce.
    ”
    Ibl
    ushedmaki
    ngherl
    augh.
    “Heisqui teacatch.Dowhatisright.Youknow
    whatisr ight
    .”MmaKst oodup.“Youcandish
    mypor ridgeandbr i
    ngtheplat
    etomyr oom.I
    am suret hatyoungmanwon’ tmindacal lf
    rom
    you.”Shewal kedawayt henIl
    ookedatmy
    phonef orawhi l
    e.Final
    l
    yIpickeditupand
    cal
    ledhi m.
    “
    Yourbal
    ancei
    snotsuf
    fi
    cient
    -“
    Ihungupandl ookedatmyphonethen
    rel
    uctant
    lydi
    dacal lback.Abei
    mmedi
    atel
    y
    cal
    ledback.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Whati
    sit
    ?”
    Ipausedandsighed.“Iam sorryfort
    hewayI
    spoketoyouyesterday.Iappreci
    ateall
    thatyou
    havedoneformeandMal col
    m, y
    oudidn’thave
    t
    obuty
    oudi
    d.”
    “
    Idi
    dn’
    tdoi
    tfory
    ou.
    ”
    Inodded.“
    Ofcause,t
    hat ’
    sall
    .By
    e.”Ihungup
    andtookadeepbreath,Icoul
    dunderstandhi
    s
    suddenchangeofatt
    itude.Myphonerang
    agai
    n.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Arey
    out
    heonewhocal
    l
    ed?
    ”
    “
    Huh?
    ”
    “Iam t
    heonewhocal
    l
    edy
    ouandIwi
    l
    lbet
    he
    onetohangup.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    IsMal
    cawake?
    ”
    “
    No.
    ”
    “
    Hel
    efthi
    stoyi
    nhi
    scar
    .Iwi
    l
    ldr
    opi
    tof
    f.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Didy
    ougoback?
    ”
    “
    No,Iam atMmaK’shouse,
    Iwi
    l
    lbest
    ayi
    ng
    t
    her
    ef orawhi
    l
    e.”
    “
    Arey
    oubr
    eaki
    ngupwi
    thhi
    m?”
    “
    Yes.Iam mov
    ingout
    .”
    “
    Outofeveryt
    hing,
    Iam pr
    oudofy
    ouf
    ort
    aki
    ng
    t
    hisdeci
    sion.
    ”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    “Iam goingtoMahal apy
    etoday,Iam goi
    ngt
    o
    seeapl otther
    e.Ifyouarenotbusy,
    youand
    Malccancomewi t
    hunlessofcauseIam
    nothi
    ngbutast rangertoyou.
    ”
    Asmil
    estartedf
    rom thecornerofmyli
    ps.“
    You
    ar
    esti
    ll
    ast r
    angerbutIhavenothingt
    odoand
    Malcwi
    llbesohappy.”
    “Packhisov
    erni
    ghtcl
    othes,
    Iwi
    l
    lbet
    her
    eint
    wo
    hours.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hehungupl
    eav
    ingmebl
    ushi
    ngal
    onel
    i
    kea
    fool unabl
    etofi
    gureoutwhyhehadsuchan
    effectonme.Mal col
    m walkedinsi
    dethe
    kit
    chenr ubbi
    nghiseyes.Aloudbangerupted
    ont hedoorfol
    lowedbysomeonescr eaming
    myname.Iputdownmyphoneandwal kedto
    thedoor .
    “
    Bina?
    ”
    Bi
    nasi
    ghed.“
    ThankGod!
    ”
    “
    Whati
    sit
    ?Yourmout
    h…”
    “Moemediki
    ll
    edhimsel
    f.Werushedhi
    mtot
    he
    hospi
    tal
    buthelookeddead.
    ”
    Myhear
    tski
    ppedasIl
    ookedather
    .

    *
    **

    Lebothasl
    owlyopenedhereyesf
    eeli
    ng
    di
    sori
    ented,shet
    ri
    edgetti
    ngupbutthepai
    non
    herneckpul
    ledherback.Tear
    sfi
    l
    ledherey
    es
    aslastnight’sevent
    scamebacktoher.She
    touchedher sel
    fandfeltwet
    nessj
    ustasher
    mot herwalkedintheroom wit
    haswoll
    enface.
    “
    ThankGody
    ouar
    eawake.
    ”
    “
    Youdi
    dn’
    twakeup…”
    Reasi
    ghed.“
    Iam sor
    rybutther
    eisnot
    hingI
    cando.Hewil
    lki
    l
    lall
    ofus.”
    “
    Thenwhydi
    dyoubr
    ingmeher
    e?”
    “
    Woul
    dyouhav
    erat
    herwentt
    ojai
    l
    ?”
    “Iwouldrat
    herbejai
    lthangetrapedinmy
    mother’spr
    esence.Youdidn’
    tbr i
    ngmeher
    eso
    tohelpme,youbroughtmesot haty
    oucan
    haveyourhusbandrapeme. ”
    “Lebot
    ha,shutup!Youthi
    nkIwantthi
    sto
    happen?Thismani st
    hereasonyouhavebeen
    eati
    ngallt
    henicefoodyouhavebeeneati
    ngto
    getthi
    sfat.
    ”
    Lebot
    hasl
    owl
    ygotup.“
    Iam goi
    ngt
    orepor
    t
    my
    sel
    ftot
    hepol
    i
    ce,
    Iwoul
    drat
    hergot
    ojai
    l
    .”
    Shewentt
    othemaindoorandwalkedout
    .Rea
    wal
    kedoverandpul
    l
    edherhand.
    “I
    fyourepor thim,nothingwi llhappen.He
    knowstheent i
    repoli
    cest ation,theywil
    ltell
    you
    towaitthent heywil
    l call
    hi m.Iwi l
    lmakeapl an,
    youwill
    gobackt oy ourgr andmot herbutifyou
    sayanything,Iam dead.I fyougot othepoli
    ce,
    heisgoingt oknowandhewi llki
    llme.Ihave
    smallki
    ds, t
    heyneedme. ”

    *
    **

    Li
    nawatchedTendaidr
    iveof
    fthent
    ookher
    phoneandcal
    ledAbe.
    “
    Yah?
    ”
    “
    Hi,
    it’
    sme.Canwet
    alk?
    ”
    “
    Lina,
    Iam notsl
    eepi
    ngwi
    thy
    ou.
    ”
    “Iknow, Iam reall
    ysor r
    yforsayingal
    lthatI
    said.Ididn’tmeani t
    ,itwasjustmyemot ions.
    Desperat i
    onmakesusl ookstupidanddo
    stupidthings,Iknow.Iam sor r
    y,canyoucome
    over?Ihav etot el
    lyousomet hi
    ng.It’
    s
    i
    mpor tant.”
    “
    Whati
    sit
    ?”
    “
    Itneedsonpur
    pose.Pl
    ease…”
    Shehear
    dhi
    m si
    gh.“
    Ok.
    ”
    Shehungupandcrushedt
    wopi
    l
    lst
    henput
    them i
    nhi
    sdri
    nk.

    *
    **

    Abethr
    ewhisbaginhiscarandjumpedin.He
    drov
    eoffcal
    l
    ingEazibutherphonerang
    answer
    ed.Hesenthermessageandputhis
    phonedowndri
    vi
    ngtohisbrother’
    shouse.
    Minutesl
    ater
    ,heparkedandwal
    kedi
    nsi
    det
    he
    house.Li
    nasmiled.
    “Hi,thanky ouforcoming.Relax,
    Idon’twantt
    o
    sleepwi t
    hy ouorsaysomet hinginthesame
    l
    ines.Iam soembar r
    assedIev ensaiditi
    nthe
    beginning.Ihopeourfriendshipwil
    lnotbe
    ruinedbyt hat.
    ”
    Abechuckl
    ed.“
    Iam gl
    adyouseehow
    ri
    dicul
    ousy
    ousounded.
    ”
    “Iknow,canwemov
    eonasi
    fitnev
    er
    happened?”
    “
    Yeah,
    sur
    e.”
    “Iwasthi
    nki
    ngofpl
    anni
    ngTendai
    ’
    sbi
    rt
    hday
    part
    y.”
    “
    Butt
    hat
    ’st
    womont
    hsaway
    .”
    “IknowbutIwasjustt
    hinki
    ngofincl
    udi
    ng
    everyonei
    nthepl
    ans.Hedeservesahuge
    birt
    hdaycel
    ebr
    ati
    on.Si
    t.”
    Shequi
    ckl
    ywal
    kedtot
    hekitchenandcame
    backwi
    thhi
    sgl
    assofj
    uice.
    “Ihav
    etogo.Canwedi
    scusst
    hiswhenIcome
    back?”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lbequi
    ck.20mi
    nut
    es.Take…”
    Abet
    ookt
    hegl
    ass.“
    Ok,
    20mi
    nut
    esonl
    y.
    ”
    “
    Ial
    sowantedtoapol
    ogizeabouthowIspoke
    t
    oEazi
    .Ihopeshedoesn’that
    eme.”
    “
    Shei
    snotl
    i
    ket
    hat
    .”
    “ThankGod,may
    bei
    nthef
    utur
    eIwi
    l
    lpr
    oper
    ly
    apologi
    ze.
    ”
    Li
    nasmi
    l
    edashesi
    ppedt
    hej
    uicesi
    tt
    ing.
    “
    Sowhatwereyouthi
    nkingwithhi
    spar
    ty?I
    t
    hinky
    oushoul
    dalsoincludeTi
    no.
    ”
    “IknowbutIfir
    stwantedt
    odiscussi
    twi
    tha
    responsi
    bleperson.
    ”Shet
    ookoutherdi
    ary
    sit
    tingbesi
    deshim
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #10

    AbegotupwhenLi
    nawasdoneexpl
    aini
    ng
    ever
    ythi
    ng.
    “It
    hinkit
    ’sagoodpl
    an,youtel
    lmewhenyou
    needhelpsomewhereespeci
    all
    ywi
    tht
    he
    costs.
    ”
    Li
    nasmil
    ed.“Thanks.Iam gl
    adwehav
    e
    pat
    chedt
    hingsup.”
    “
    Yeahsur
    e.”
    Abeclosedhiseyesatt
    hesuddendizzyspel
    l,
    herubbedhiseyesandtr
    iedwal
    kingbutitf
    elt
    asi
    fhewasf
    all
    i
    ng.Li
    naputherhandsonhi
    m.
    “
    Abe…ar
    eyouok?
    ”
    “
    Shi
    t…If
    eel
    dizzy
    .”
    “
    Wai
    t…si
    tdown.Si
    tforawhi
    l
    e.”
    Shepushedhi
    m downt
    othecouch.“
    Iwi
    l
    lbr
    ing
    youwater
    .”
    Shehurri
    edtotheki
    tchenwhi l
    ehet ookouthi
    s
    phonefrom hi
    spockettotextEazibutthe
    scr
    eenseemedt ooblur
    ry,hecouldn’tmakeup
    anyt
    hing.Li
    naputdownt heglassofwat er
    .
    “It
    hinkyoushoul
    dlaydownf
    orawhi
    l
    e,Iam
    cal
    li
    ngtheambulance.
    ”
    Het ouchedhisf acehearingherfaintvoice.
    Linalookedathi mt r
    yingtof i
    ghtthesedat i
    ve
    butitslowlyoverpower edhimt i
    ll
    hedr opped
    thephoneandl eanedbackont hecouchwi t
    h
    hiseyesclosed.Shesmi l
    edandpi ckedhi s
    phonet hennoticedhewant edtotextEazi aft
    er
    theprevi
    oustexthehadsentherear
    li
    eron
    sayinghewasonhi sway.Shetookadeep
    breathandst
    artedtypi
    ng.
    Abe:Iam nolongercomi ngtopi
    cky ouup, I
    havedecidedtogoal oneandkeepmydi st
    ance
    whenitcomest oy ou.Iam notr
    eadyforany
    rel
    ati
    onshipatthemoment ,
    Iam sti
    l
    l t
    ryi
    ngt o
    fi
    gureoutafewt hingsbecausether
    ei ssti
    ll
    someonei nthepictur
    esoIdon’twantt ohurt
    you.Ihopeyouunder stand,
    Iam goi
    ngt ocut
    communi cat
    ionwi t
    hy ou.
    Shesmil
    edlookingatt
    hesentmessage,Eazi
    qui
    ckl
    yrepl
    i
    edt hensherol
    l
    edhereyesreading.
    Eazi:Iam hurt,
    Idon’ tknowwhybutmay bei
    t’
    s
    becauseIhadst artedviewingy ouwit
    ha
    diff
    erentli
    ght,Moemedi t
    ri
    edkilli
    nghi
    mselfor
    did,Iam notsurebutIhadn’ tgonetothe
    hospitalwait
    ingf oryout oshowup, Ievengot
    mysonal l
    excitedf orthisbutnowIcompl et
    ely
    certai
    nit’
    sthedev i
    l y
    oudon’ tknowthat’
    s
    danger
    ous.
    Abe: Iam hopingwecanj ustpar
    tways
    peacef ul
    l
    y.IfIconti
    nuewiththi
    s,i
    twil
    lbejust
    sex.Pleaseunder st
    and.Letmetrysor
    ting
    my selfout.Feelf
    reetoblockmynumber .
    Linalookedatt hephonef orawhileandwhen
    shedi dn’trespond, shesmi l
    edthendel etedall
    themessagesandl ookedathi m.Sheputhi s
    phonedownandl aidhim properl
    yont hecouch
    thenunzi ppedhi spant sandt ookouthi sdick.
    Shest rokedhi sdi ckandsmi ledasitslowl ygot
    hard.Shet ookof fherclothesgetti
    ngont opof
    himt henhel dhi sdickuprightwhil
    ei tpointed
    ri
    ghtatherent rance, wit
    hadeepbr eathin,she
    slowly-#r emov ed.

    *
    **

    AtMmaK’
    shouse,
    Iwi
    pedawaymyt
    ear
    sand
    gotup.MmaKl
    ookedatme.
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyougoi
    ng?
    ”
    “NonofMoemedi
    ’
    srelat
    ivesareinGaborone,
    heonl
    yhasmeandIcan’tjustabandonhim
    whenhehasnoone.
    ”
    “
    Eazi
    ,whatdi
    dweagr
    eeon?Ar
    en’
    tyouwai
    ti
    ng
    f
    orAbe?”
    “Abei
    snolongercomi
    ng,hehasagi
    rl
    fri
    end.”I
    putonmyopenshoesstar
    ingatmybandaged
    l
    eg.
    “
    Mal
    col
    m,l
    et’
    sgo!
    ”
    Mal
    col
    mranov
    er.
    “
    Isuncl
    eAbeher
    e?”
    “No,heisnolongercoming.Wearegoi
    ngt
    o
    seepapainthehospital
    .Goandtakemy
    handbag.”
    Il
    impedout
    sidet
    henMal
    col
    m wal
    kedov
    er
    sadl
    y.
    “Malcol
    m, Ineedy outounder standsomet hi
    ng,
    Iknowy oulikeuncleAbesomuch, heisagood
    manbuthecan’ talwaysmakeushappy .Hehas
    hisfamil
    ythatneedshi m, onedaywheny ou
    growupandhav eaf amilyofy ourownt oo,you
    will
    understandbutknowt hatdisappoi
    nt ments
    will
    alwaysbeapar tofli
    fe.Wear egoinghome
    fi
    rst.
    ”
    Ili
    mpedbackt omyhouseandf oundt hedoor
    unlocked.MyheartskippedasIlookedar ound
    thehousesearchi
    ngf orthemoney .Itooka
    deepbr eathwi
    thapoundi ngheartthenstart
    ed
    searchingagai
    nbutthemoneywasn’ tthere.
    Tearsfill
    edmyeyes.
    “
    No…Godno…”
    “
    Mamawhatar
    eyoul
    ooki
    ngf
    or?
    ”
    “
    Wai
    t.
    ”
    Iwentov
    ert
    otheirbagsandsearchedinsi
    de,
    openedt
    hei
    rwardrobeandtookouteveryt
    hing
    butther
    ewasnothi
    nginside.Isatonthebed
    wit
    hmyhandsov ermyf aceandsilentl
    ycr
    ied,
    it
    fel
    tasifthewor
    ldwasjustclosi
    ngi nonme.
    “
    Mama…”
    Itookadeepbr
    eat
    handgotupwi
    pingmyt
    ear
    s.
    “Let’
    sgo.
    ”

    *
    **

    Att
    hehospi
    tal
    ,myl
    egachedasIlimpedt
    ohi
    s
    war
    dthengoti
    nandlookedathi
    m.
    “
    Mamai
    sthatpapa?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Isl
    owlywal
    kedoverandl
    ookedattherope
    marksonhi
    sneck,Thenur
    sewalkedinand
    smil
    ed.
    “
    Hi,
    youmustbehi
    swi
    fe?
    ”
    “
    Gir
    lf
    ri
    end.Hedi
    dn’
    tdi
    e?”
    “
    Yes,t
    hankGodhewasfoundwhenhewas
    f
    ound,i
    fnothewoul
    dn’
    tbeher
    e.”
    Ist
    aredathi
    m.“
    Wheni
    shewaki
    ngup?
    ”
    “Anyt
    imebutri
    ghtnowheneedstorest
    .We
    havearr
    angedforsomeonewhowil
    ltal
    ktohi
    m.
    Hemusthav ebeendepr
    essed.
    ”
    Ishookmyhead.“
    Hewasn’
    tdepr
    essed.Hewas
    fi
    ne.”
    “Depressionisnotsomet hingev er
    y onecansee.
    Theper sonmaygoonwi ththeirli
    vesasi f
    nothingishappening.I
    thappenst oal otof
    peoplethatyougetsurprisedt hattheperson
    suddenlykill
    sthemselves.Theper sonwi lll
    ook
    soindiffer
    ent.
    ”Thenursesmi l
    ed.“ Butheisfine.
    Hei sgoingtogethelp.
    ”
    Shecheckedacoupl
    eofthings,smi
    ledat
    Malcol
    mt henwal
    kedout.Il
    ookedathimthen
    cover
    edmyf acemyfaceunabletocont
    roli
    t.
    Malcol
    mlookedatmesadl
    yasIcri
    edlouder
    goi
    ngdownonmyknees.Tearsfi
    l
    led
    Malcol
    m’seyes,
    mycri
    esgett
    ingt
    ohim.

    *
    **

    Tendai
    watchedasLonasgoti
    nthecart
    henhe
    l
    eanedoverandki
    ssedher
    .
    “
    Arey
    ouok?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Ifoundasmal
    lhousef
    ory
    ou.
    ”
    Lonassmi
    l
    ed.“
    Ok.
    ”
    Hedr
    oveaway
    .“Ar
    eyouhungr
    y?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Hepassedbyar estaur
    antandwalkedinside.
    Lonaswait
    edpatientl
    ythenawomanwal ked
    overandopenedthepassengerdoor.
    “
    Hi,
    whoar
    eyou?
    ”
    Lonasf
    rownedst
    ari
    ngather
    .“What
    ?”
    “
    Gir
    l,getout
    .Wher
    eisTendai
    ?”
    “
    Insi
    de.
    ”
    Thewomanpul
    l
    edherout
    .“Isai
    dgetoutoft
    he
    car
    !”
    Tendai
    wal
    kedouthol
    dingthefoodt
    hen
    fr
    ownedst
    ari
    ngatbot
    hl adi
    es.
    “
    Mapul
    a…”
    “
    Who’
    sthi
    sTendai
    ?”
    “
    It
    ’smywi
    fe’
    ssi
    ster
    .”
    Mapulalookedatt
    heski
    mpyskir
    tshewas
    wear
    ing.“Soyouarenowal
    sofucki
    ngyour
    wi
    fe’
    ssister?”
    “
    Lonas,
    geti
    nthecar
    .”
    Lonast
    riedget
    ti
    nginbutMapul
    apul
    ledher
    .
    “Youar
    enotgoinganywher
    ewit
    hthi
    swhore.”
    “
    Leav
    eme!
    ”
    Mapulasl
    appedLonaswhoangril
    ybitherl
    ower
    l
    ipandgaveherasoundi
    ngslapfoll
    owedbya
    punch.Mapul
    atr
    ippedonherheel
    sf al
    l
    ing.
    “
    Don’
    tyouev
    erl
    ayy
    ourhandsonme,
    Iwi
    l
    lki
    l
    l
    y
    ou.
    ”
    Sheangril
    ygoti
    nthecarwhil
    eMapul a
    str
    uggledget
    ti
    ngupinherheels.Tendaiwal
    ked
    overt
    oherandopenedthebackdoor .“Geti
    nif
    youarecoming,i
    fyoudon’
    tthenwear e
    off
    ici
    all
    ydone.
    ”
    Mapul
    alookedathi
    m wi
    tht
    ear
    sinherey
    es.
    “
    Tendai
    …”
    “
    Thechoi
    cei
    syour
    s.”
    Hewalkedt
    ohisdoorandgotinwhil
    eMapul a
    sl
    owlygoti
    nthebackseatwi
    thherscraped
    knees.
    Hel
    ookedatLonas.“
    Iwi
    l
    ldr
    opherof
    f.
    ”
    Lonaslookedoutawayangri
    l
    ywhileherhear
    t
    pounded.Anunexpect
    edtearrandownher
    cheekthenshewipedi
    tawaywhi l
    eTendai
    drove.

    *
    **

    AtMapula’
    shouse,
    Tendai
    lookedathert
    henat
    Lonas.
    “
    Lonas,thisi
    sMapula, sheismygirl
    fr
    iend.
    Mapula,
    thisi
    sLonas, sheisalsomygi r
    lf
    ri
    end.
    I
    fanyofy ouwantt
    ol eav ethi
    sarr
    angement,
    f
    eelfr
    eet odosoanddoi tnow.Iwon’tbegyou
    t
    ostay.”
    “
    Tendaidi
    dn’
    tyousayy
    ouar
    eleav
    ingy
    our
    wi
    fe?”
    “
    Ican’
    tleav
    emyhouset i
    ll
    Iam sur
    eabout
    wher
    eIam goi
    ng.Iam goi
    ngtoobser
    vebothof
    yousothatwhenIf
    inal
    lyl
    eaveLi
    naandi
    fIdo,
    I
    wil
    lknowwhoIam goingfor
    .”
    Mapul
    asteppedoutandwal
    kedt
    ohi
    sdoor
    t
    henki
    ssedhim.
    “
    Arey
    oucomi
    ngt
    oni
    ght
    ?”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lsee.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    LonaswatchedasMapulawal
    kedawayi
    nher
    heel
    sthenshookherheadboi
    l
    ing.
    “
    Soyouusedme?Di
    dn’
    tyousayy
    oubr
    okeup
    wi
    thher
    ?”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Whyar
    eyoudoi
    ngt
    his?
    ”
    “Lonas,Idon’
    twanttol
    iet
    oy out
    hat
    ’swhyI
    havetoldyouever
    ythi
    ng.I
    fyoudon’
    twantthi
    sI
    will
    giveyousomemoney ,dr
    opyouoffatt
    he
    busrankt
    henyoucangobackhome.I
    sthat
    whatyouwant
    ?”
    Lonasfoldedherar
    ms.“Dropmeof f,
    youcan
    goandf uckal
    lther
    atchetpussi
    esyouwillwant
    butmyt i
    ghtpussywil
    lnotbepartofyour
    nonsense.”
    Tendaismi
    ledst
    ari
    ngather
    ,herf
    eist
    inesswas
    aturnonandheknewshewasstubborn.
    “
    Lonas…”
    “
    Dropmeatt
    hebusr
    ank.
    ”
    “
    Youmi
    ghtbepr
    egnant
    .”
    “Ornot,youmi ghtbeshooti
    ngbl anksforal
    lwe
    know.Mot howamodi mo,(PersonofGod, )
    nki
    se( t
    akemet o)busrank.Youseem
    confusedandIwon’ tbeconfusedwi thyouand
    sel
    lmy selfshort.
    ”
    Tendaist
    artedt
    hecaranddr
    oveoff
    .Awhil
    e
    l
    aterheparkedi
    nfr
    ontofagateandst
    epped
    out
    .Heopenedt
    hedoorf
    orher
    .
    “
    Come,
    let
    ’sgo.
    ”
    “
    Ist
    hisbusr
    ank?
    ”
    “
    Comeandsee.
    ”
    Hepul l
    edi
    nsidethegat
    eandt othefi
    rst
    apartment
    .Insi
    deshesighedstar
    ingattheful
    ly
    fur
    nishedbeauti
    ful
    house.“Igott
    hisf
    ory ou.
    ”
    “
    Iam notstayi
    ng!Ev enifyoupromi
    semethe
    wor
    ld.Youmustt hinkIam fool
    .Iwi
    l
    lgobackt
    o
    mymot herandstruggle.
    ”
    “
    Babecomeon.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sei
    thermeorMapul
    a.I
    fit
    ’sher
    ,Iam l
    eavi
    ng.
    Onti
    rasematl
    a.(
    Youar
    emaki ngmeafool.
    )
    Helookedi
    nherseri
    ouseyesreal
    i
    zingnot
    hing
    wasgoingt
    oconvinceherot
    herwi
    se.
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Wear
    edoi
    ngi
    tnow.Andf
    acet
    ofacebecause
    Icanseel
    yi
    ngrunsinyourbl
    oodveins.I
    t
    doesn’
    twor
    kli
    kethatwithme.Youcan’thav
    e
    me,mysist
    erandanotherwhor
    etoo.”
    “
    Ok.Don’
    tyouwantt
    oseet
    hehousef
    ir
    st?
    ”
    “
    No.Iwanty
    out
    obr
    eakupwi
    thherf
    ir
    st.
    ”
    Heheldherwai
    standkissedhersli
    dinghis
    handbet
    weenherlegsandtouchingthatpussy
    .
    “
    Ok,
    let
    ’sgo.
    ”

    *
    **

    AtTendai
    ’shouse,
    Abeopenedhi
    seyeswhile
    Li
    nashookhim.Thesedat
    ivewassupposedto
    wearoffi
    nanhour’st
    imebutnowitwas
    al
    readypastt
    hat.
    “
    Abe!
    ”
    Hebl
    i
    nkedacoupl
    eoft
    imesandgotup.He
    st
    agger
    edabi
    tthenr
    ubbedhi
    sey
    es.
    “
    Shi
    t!
    ”
    “
    Youfel
    lasleep,
    Ifi
    guredmaybey ouwer
    ejust
    t
    ir
    ed.Ar
    ey ouok?Ishouldcal
    ltheambul
    ance.
    ”
    “
    NoIam good.Fuck…Ifeel
    outofi
    t.
    ”He
    t
    ouchedhi
    spockets.“
    Whereismyphone?
    ”
    “
    Uht
    her
    e,ont
    het
    abl
    e.”
    Hereachedforhi
    sphoneandcal
    l
    edsomeone
    whi
    l
    eshest aredbutt
    henhefr
    owned.
    “
    Ever
    ythi
    ngok?
    ”
    “
    Yeah,
    Ishoul
    dgo.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Inhershor tsil
    kynightdress,Li
    naknelt
    exposingherbut tandpussy .Abequickl
    y
    l
    ookedawayashi sdickjerked,
    itgrewhard
    suddenlymaki nghiml ookbackatLi nawho
    wasst i
    llputti
    ngonhershoesbendi ng.He
    closedhisey esandqui cklywalkedawaywitha
    boner.Hetouchedhi spocketsearchingf
    orhis
    carkeys,hewassur ehehadt hem inhispocket
    butnowhecoul dn’tbe100%sur e.Het ur
    nedto
    walkbackinsi
    det hehousewhi l
    eLi nawalked
    outholdi
    nghiscarkey s.
    “Youforgott
    his.Areyouok?Ist
    il
    lthinkyou
    shouldgotothehospital
    orsomething.”She
    touchedhisf
    or ehead.
    Abest eppedback, knowi ngshehadnot hi
    ng
    beneatht hatshor tdresswasdr ivi
    nghi m ev en
    mor ecr azybutt henthiswashi sbr other’swife
    andt herewasnowayhewoul dsleepwi thher.
    Hest il
    lcouldn’tunder standhissuddensexual
    hunger .Hewant edtoj ustsinkhisr ockhar d
    dickinsideandf ucktheshi toutofherbuthi s
    consciousr emi ndedhi mt hatthiswashi s
    brother’swife.Hegott hekey s,goti nthecar
    anddr ov eoff.Linasmi ledandwal kedi nside
    thehousewhi l
    ehiscum r andownhert high.
    *
    **

    Att
    hehospi
    tal
    ,MmaKgotMal
    col
    m.
    “
    Howi
    she?
    ”
    “Heissl
    eeping.Thenursesaidheisdepressed
    sotheyaregoingtocounselhim.Iaskedifthey
    coul
    dofferuscouple’
    scounselingandshesai d
    yes.
    ”
    “
    Ify
    ouar
    ehappyIam f
    ine.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    MmaKwal kedawaywit
    hMalcol
    m whi
    leI
    wal
    kedbacktohi
    swardthensmil
    edfi
    ndi
    ng
    hi
    m awake.Hel
    ookedatme.
    “
    Eazi
    …”
    “
    Wher
    eist
    hemoney
    ?”
    Helookedatmewit
    htearsinhiseyest
    hen
    bl
    i
    nkedl et
    ti
    ngt
    hem f
    all
    .“I
    nsidethesui
    tyou
    boughtme.
    ”
    “
    Ok.Howar
    eyouf
    eel
    i
    ng?
    ”
    “IwishIwasdead.Ican’tkeeplivi
    ngthi
    sli
    fef
    ull
    ofnothingbutdisappoi
    ntments.Ikeep
    disappoint
    ingyouandmyson. ”
    “Andyouthoughtki
    l
    li
    ngy
    our
    sel
    fwoul
    dmakei
    t
    alr
    ight
    ?”
    “
    Youdeser
    vebet
    ter
    .”
    “Thenur sesai
    dyouaredepressedandt hat
    theyaregoingtohel
    py ouandhel pustoo.Lif
    e
    i
    shar d,Iknowbutyoucan’tki
    llyour
    self
    .It’
    s
    self
    ish,
    whatwi l
    lIdowithMalcolm?Ilostmy
    j
    ob.”
    “
    Iam t
    ir
    edofbehav
    ingl
    i
    keacr
    azyman.
    ”
    “
    Theyar
    egoi
    ngt
    ohel
    pus.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.Buti
    fyouwantt
    oleav
    e,i
    t’
    sfi
    ne.
    ”
    “Iam notgoi
    ngany
    wher e.Iam her
    etost
    ay,
    we
    aregoingtowor
    kthisout,wearegoingt
    oget
    hel
    p.”
    Moemedihel
    dherhandandsmi
    l
    edcr
    ying.
    “
    Thankyou.
    ”
    Myphonevi
    bratedfr
    om mypockett
    henI
    smi
    led.“
    Iam goingt
    ocal
    lthenur
    se.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Iwal
    kedoutandanswer
    ed.“
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyou?Ihav
    ear
    ri
    vedatt
    hehouse.
    ”
    “Iwantyoutostayawayfrom me.Iam done
    withyou.Pl
    easestayawayf r
    om myson.Go
    andsortyour
    selffarfr
    om me.Iappreci
    atey
    our
    honestyandyourhelp.By
    e.”Ihungupand
    blockedhi
    snumber .

    AMONTHLATER…
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe
    #10
    #r
    emov
    ed

    Sheputhi sphonedownandl aidhi m proper l


    y
    ont hecoucht henunzippedhi spant sandt ook
    outhi sdi ck.Shestrokedhisdickandsmi l
    edas
    i
    tsl owl ygothard.Shet ookoffhercl othes
    gettingont opofhimt henheldhi sdickupr i
    ght
    whi l
    ei tpointedri
    ghtatherent rance, wit
    ha
    deepbr eathin,sheslowlysatletti
    nghi sdi ck
    sinki nher .Shewenthal f
    wayandpausedatt he
    shar ppai n.Shelookedathi mlay i
    ngt hereand
    wentupt hensli
    ddownt aki
    ngonl yhal fhisdi ck.
    Shecl osedherey esatthepleasur eoft hatdi ck
    agai nstherwal l
    s,shealway sknewhewasf ull
    y
    blessed.Herpussysl owlygreasedhi m whi l
    e
    shemov ed,taki
    ngitmor eintoherwi t
    heach
    thrustt i
    llhewasal linher.Shegy ratedherhi ps
    onhi m moani
    ng.Sheputherhandsonhis
    chestandmov edherbut
    t,sl
    appingherbody
    againsthi
    s.
    Sheleanedoverandki
    ssedhim enjoyi
    nghi s
    dickwhil
    ehelai
    dunconscious.Shelookedat
    thei
    rconnect
    ionandwatchedashi sdicksli
    din
    andoutofhercoatedwit
    hherj ui
    ces.Shegot
    upandleanedoversucki
    nghisdick,gaggingon
    i
    t.
    “
    Godwhatadi
    ck…”
    Shepositi
    onedher sel
    fonceagai nandsl i
    d
    downl et
    ti
    nghi m bl
    ockherpussycompl etely
    .A
    waveofgui l
    thitherasshest ar
    edathim, she
    knewhewoul dneversleepwithhergivent he
    chance,herespectedhisbrothertoomuch, t
    hey
    hadbeenf ri
    endsev enbeforeshedatedTendai ,
    matteroffacthehadbeent heonewhohad
    hookedthem up.Tear sfi
    ll
    edherey esasawav e
    ofguil
    thither,t
    heywer efri
    ends,morelike
    si
    bli
    ngs.At earrandownhercheekbutt he
    t
    houghtofl
    osi
    ngherhusbandmot
    ivat
    edher
    .
    Sheslowlybeganmov ingagain,
    shet wist
    edher
    nippl
    esmov i
    ngfaster,
    thepleasurehadher
    screamingasherinsi
    desbegant ensing.She
    mov edherhi
    psov erhi
    m whilehisdicksli
    din
    andoutofher,hi
    tti
    ngal l
    theri
    ghtcorners.His
    dickbeganexpandinginsi
    deherthenshe
    mov edevenfast
    erlett
    inghim sl
    am deepi nher.
    Shescr
    eamedfi
    ll
    inghi
    swarml
    oadi
    nsi
    deher
    ashepulsat
    edi
    nher.“
    Yes!
    ”
    Shemoaningreaching,hereyesroll
    edtothe
    backwhi
    lehermov ement slostcontr
    ol.She
    sl
    appedhardagainsthi
    mr i
    dingherwav eof
    pl
    easur
    ethathitherli
    keahur ri
    cane.
    “
    OhhhAbe…f
    uck!
    ”
    Sherodethewav et
    henfi
    nall
    ystoppedandgot
    up.Shelookedathi
    m st
    il
    lunconsci
    ouswitha
    si
    ghofnor egret
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #11

    Li
    nawal kedoutofthephar
    macyhol di
    ngthe
    pregnancytest
    ingsti
    ckandgotinhercar
    .Her
    phonerangasshedr oveawaythensheroll
    ed
    hereyesanswer i
    ng.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Lina,
    wher
    eismydaught
    er?
    ”
    Li
    nasighed.“
    MamaIdon’tknowwher eLonas
    i
    s,yousenthert
    odestr
    oymymar ri
    ageandnow
    sheismissi
    ng,y
    ouareaski
    ngme?Youputher
    i
    nthebusandnowshei smyr esponsi
    bil
    i
    ty?
    ”
    “
    LinaIsenthert
    her
    etohel
    pyou.
    ”
    “Howisshesupposedtohel
    pmewheny ou
    wantedhert
    osleepwit
    hmyhusband?Idon’
    t
    knowwheresheisbutsheisal
    i
    ve,
    shepostson
    f
    acebook.
    ”
    Shehungup, minut eslatershedr oveinsideher
    yar
    dandwal kedi nsidethehouse.Shequi ckly
    madeherwayt oherbedr oom thenent eredher
    bathroom andr eadt heinstructi
    onscar efull
    y .
    Shepeedont hest i
    ckandwai t
    edpaci ngupand
    downt hebathroom wi t
    hapoundi nghear t.She
    l
    ookedatt hest ickwi t
    honer edli
    ne, averyf ai
    nt
    l
    ineslowlyappear ednextt otheot herone.She
    screamedj umpi ngupanddownt hengr abbed
    herhandbagf rom t hefloor.Shef i
    shedher
    phoneandcal ledTendai who’ sphoner ang
    unanswered.

    *
    **

    Tendai hel
    dLonas’
    shai
    rasshevomit
    edi
    nthe
    toil
    et.Shegotupandri
    nsedhermout
    honthe
    sink.
    “
    Arey
    ouok?
    ”
    “
    Iam f
    ine.
    ”
    Tendaismil
    edst
    ari
    ngather
    .“It
    hinky
    ouar
    e
    pregnant
    .”
    “
    Ormaybemystomachisjustupset
    .Itmustbe
    t
    heseafoodIat
    eyest
    erday.
    ”
    Lonaswalkedbackt
    othebedr
    oom andsaton
    thebed.
    “
    Yourperi
    odi sl
    ate,
    thereisnootherbet
    terway
    t
    oexplai
    nit.Youarepregnant,
    buttobesureI
    wi
    ll
    bookanappoi ntmentwithadoctorj
    ustso
    t
    obesure.”
    Hewalkedoutt
    aki
    ngouthi
    sphone.Lonas’
    s
    phonerang.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Lonas,
    it’
    sKeey
    a.”
    “
    Ohhey
    !”
    Keeyal
    aughed.“
    Hi,
    Ijustgoty
    ournumberf
    rom
    yourmother
    .”
    “
    Oh…wow,
    it’
    sbeenl
    ong.
    ”
    “Iknow,butIgotaj obintheshipasacleaner,
    theyneedtwopeopl eandIt ol
    dthem Ihavea
    fri
    end.Iam comingt oGaboroneforan
    i
    ntervi
    ew,ifwegett hejobstheyaregoingtofl
    y
    ustoSAwher ewewi llcat
    chtheshipwhichwill
    begoingtoEur ope.It
    ’sa9mont hsthi
    ngand
    wewi l
    lbegettinggoodmoney ,
    withti
    psfrom
    whitepeople,weareboundt omakeal ot.
    ”
    Lonassmi
    led.“
    Wow!That
    ’s…wow,
    arey
    ousur
    e
    i
    t’
    snotascam? ”
    “
    No,Iwascal
    l
    edbyor
    gani
    zat
    ioni
    tsel
    f,i
    t’
    s
    l
    egi
    t.
    ”
    Tendaiwal
    kedinthenLonassi
    ghed.“
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    l
    getbackatyou.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    bye.
    ”
    Keey
    ahungupasTendai
    kissedLonas.
    “
    Whowast
    hat
    ?”
    “
    Anol
    dhi
    ghschoolmateofmine.Shef
    ound
    meaj
    obi
    ntheship.9months.
    ”
    “
    Oh…ar
    ethoseev
    enl
    egi
    ?”
    “
    Shesaysi
    tisl
    egi
    tandt
    hatIcanmakegood
    money
    .”
    “
    Youcan’
    tgo.
    ”
    “
    Ineedt
    hej
    ob.Ij
    ustcan’
    tsi
    tdoi
    ngnot
    hing.
    ”
    “Iam wor
    kingsoyoucanhavet
    hegoodl
    i
    fe.
    Plus,
    youarecarr
    yingmychi
    l
    d.”
    “Tendaiwearenotevensur
    eifIam pr
    egnantor
    not,ei
    therway,
    thi
    sisali
    fet
    imeopport
    unit
    y.”
    “Iwi
    llgiv
    eyouev
    eryt
    hingy
    ouwantbuty
    ouar
    e
    notgoingany
    where.
    ”
    Tear
    sfi
    ll
    edherey
    es.“
    Iwantt
    omakemyown
    money!
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    llgi
    vey
    oumoremoney,buty
    ouar
    enot
    t
    aki
    ngmychil
    dany
    wher
    e.”
    Shelookedathi mt henbur sti
    ntocr
    ies.Tendai
    si
    ghedhuggi ngher ,theseday ssheact ual
    ly
    cri
    edmor ethanshesmi ledandhesuspect edi
    t
    wasthepr egnancy .Het ouchedherstomach
    andsighed.Final
    ly!Shecool eddownwi t
    hher
    eyesclosedandf ellasleep.Tendailai
    dher
    ni
    celyont hebedt henwal kedoutdi
    alinga
    number .
    “
    Mr.Taf
    ir
    a…”
    “
    Hi,
    Ineedacar
    .Anewcar
    ,may
    beaMazda2.
    ”
    “Youcancomebyatourshopsi
    randwewi
    l
    l
    assi
    styou.
    ”
    “
    GettheMazda2demi
    o,i
    nsi
    l
    ver
    .Iwi
    l
    lbet
    her
    e
    t
    otakeit
    .”
    “
    Yessi
    r.
    ”
    Hegoti
    nhi
    scardi
    ali
    ngAbe.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyou?Papai
    slooki
    ngf
    ory
    ou?
    ”
    “
    Itr
    avel
    l
    ed,
    Iwi
    l
    lbebackonSunday
    .”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “Iwi
    llt
    ell
    y ou.”Abehungupbef orehecouldsay
    anyt
    hingelset henhisphonerangalmost
    i
    mmedi ately
    .Hel ookedatLina’
    scallknowi
    ng
    shewouldn’tstopcalli
    ng.
    “
    Yes?
    ”
    “
    Iam pr
    egnant
    !”
    Hi
    shear
    tski
    pped.“
    What
    ?”
    “Iam pr
    egnantbabe,Iboughtapr
    egnancy
    test
    ingsti
    ck,Iam pr
    egnant.Wear
    egoingto
    haveababy !
    ”
    “
    Arey
    ouser
    iousr
    ightnow?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Iam soexci
    ted.
    ”
    “
    Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evet
    his.
    ”
    Li
    napaused.“
    Youdon’
    tsoundhappy
    .”
    “
    No…Iam happybabe!I
    t’
    sjustIhadl
    osthope.
    ”
    “Iknow.Metoo.Ireal
    l
    ythoughtwewoul
    dnever
    haveachil
    d.ButGodhasdonei t
    .If
    eell
    i
    kethe
    l
    adyi nt
    hebibl
    e.”
    “
    Wear
    ebl
    essed.Iam comi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    Hechangedr
    out
    esanddr
    ovehome.

    *
    **

    MmaKsi ppedonherteathenreachedf
    orher
    phoneanddial
    edherdaughter
    ’snumber
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Rea,
    Iwantt
    otal
    ktoyou.Idon’
    tthi
    nky
    ou
    shoul
    dhavet
    akenLebot
    ha.”
    “Lebot
    hai
    smydaught
    er.Iwantt
    ost
    aywi
    th
    her.
    ”
    “WhenItal
    kedtoherthelastt
    imeshedidn’
    t
    soundli
    ketheLebot
    haIknow.Whatar eyou
    doingt
    oher?Icanfeeli
    tinmysoulthat
    somethi
    ngiswrong.”
    “
    Cany
    oul
    etmepar
    entmyki
    dsi
    npeace?
    ”
    “Ihopey ouaredoingagr eatj
    obasapar ent
    ,
    yourj obasamot heristopr otectyourdaughter
    andi fy oudon’t
    ,shewi l
    l growupander aseyou
    from herl i
    fe.Youroldersisterdidthesamet o
    mebecauseIf ai
    ledtomot herher.TodayI
    hav en’tseenmydaught erin13y ears.Idon’
    t
    ev enknowmygr andki
    dsbecauseshenev er
    l
    et ’sthem visi
    tme. ”
    “
    Iam notl
    i
    keyouandIwi
    l
    lnev
    erbe.Lebot
    hai
    s
    v
    eryhappy.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    canIt
    alkt
    oher
    ?”
    “
    Shest
    udy
    inganddoesn’
    tli
    ket
    obedi
    stur
    bed.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Reahungupt henMmaKl ookedatherphone
    wantingt
    ocal l
    Eazi butthi
    sti
    mear oundshe
    wantedhertolearnonherown.Shecont inued
    si
    ppingonhert eareadingherbi
    ble.Awhile
    l
    atersheclosedherey esandprayedforher
    ki
    dsandgr anddaughterthenEaziandMalcolm.

    *
    **

    Thef ol
    l
    owingdayint hemor ni
    ng,Abeslowed
    downpassi ngEazi
    ’sfamilyhouse.Hewasn’t
    surebutaccordi
    ngt othedir
    ecti
    onsMmaKhad
    givenhim,hecouldsayhewasatt heri
    ght
    place.Ayounggirlpassedhimt henhestepped
    out.
    “
    Hi…”
    Shet
    urnedandl
    ookedathi
    m.“
    Dumel
    ang,
    ”
    “
    Doy
    ouknowEaz
    i?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Canyougoandcal l
    her?Butdon’
    ttel
    lany
    one
    aboutthi
    s.Iam herf
    ri
    end.Iwi
    llgi
    veyou
    money.”
    Thet
    eenagersmi
    l
    ed.“
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lher
    .”
    Abesighedastheteenagegir
    lraninsi
    dethe
    yardwhil
    ehegotbacki nhi
    scar,hi
    sheart
    beati
    ng.Heputhishandoverhischestand
    chuckl
    ed.
    “
    FuckAbe!Rel
    ax…”
    Helookedathi
    srear
    -vi
    ewmir
    rorswal
    lowing
    har
    d,eachsecondmadehi
    m moreanxious.

    *
    **

    I
    nsi
    det
    hehouse,
    IlookedatLi
    l
    int
    leasshe
    st
    oodonmywi
    ndow.
    "
    Who?
    ”
    “Hesaidheisyourf
    ri
    endbuthedr
    ivesan
    expensi
    vecar.
    ”
    “
    What
    ’st
    hecol
    oroft
    hecar
    ?”
    “
    Grey
    .It
    ’swr
    it
    tenuhhAdi
    o.”
    Myhear
    tst
    art
    edpoundi
    ng.“
    Ok,
    Iam comi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Shoul
    dIwai
    tfory
    ou?
    ”
    “
    Whatel
    sedi
    dhesay
    ?”
    "
    Thathewoul
    dpaymef
    orcal
    l
    ingy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Okwai
    t.
    ”
    Icl
    osedmywi ndowandchangedi
    ntoadress.
    Mymot herwal
    kedinasIputonmyfli
    pfl
    ops.
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyougoi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Iwantai
    rt
    ime.Iwi
    l
    lbeback.
    ”
    “
    Bef
    ast
    ,weneedt
    ost
    artpr
    epar
    ing.Ican’
    t
    bel
    ieveyoudidn’tgiv
    ememoneyt opaintthe
    house.Otherpeople’
    sdaught
    ersalwaysfi
    xthei
    r
    homeswhent heyareget
    ti
    ngmar r
    ied.Now
    Moemedi ’
    sfami l
    yisgoi
    ngtotothi
    nkwear e
    poor.
    ”
    “
    Iam comi
    ng.
    ”
    IwalkedoutmeetingLi
    li
    ntl
    eatthegate.We
    walkedout,myheartpoundedevenmor easI
    l
    ookedathi scar
    .Iwenttohiswindowashe
    rol
    l
    edi tdown.
    “
    Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngher
    e?”
    Hel
    ookedatmetaki
    ngof
    fhiscapandsmil
    ed
    t
    hentookaP100not
    eandhandeditt
    oLi
    li
    ntl
    e.
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    “
    Ehmal
    ome.
    ”
    Withasmi
    leLi
    l
    int
    lewal
    kedawaywhi
    l
    eIst
    ared
    athim,
    hesmel
    tsogood.
    “
    Geti
    nthecar
    .”
    Itookadeepbr
    eath.“
    Itol
    dyout
    ost
    ayaway
    fr
    om medidn’
    tI?
    ”
    “
    Isai
    dgeti
    nthecar
    .”
    “
    Whodoy
    out
    hinky
    ouar
    e?”
    Heopenedhismout htorespondtomebutthen
    shookhishead.“Pl
    easegetinthecar
    .Thi
    s
    won’tt
    akelong.”
    Igoti
    nsi
    det
    hecarandlookedathi
    m.He
    l
    ookedatmydr
    essthatexposedmythi
    ghs.
    “
    Youl
    ookbeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    “Soyoudon’
    ttel
    lyourf
    riendst
    haty
    ourbr
    ide
    pri
    ceisf
    inal
    l
    ybeingpaid?”
    Il
    ookeddown.
    “
    Wher
    eisMal
    c?”
    “
    Sleepi
    ng.
    ”
    Het
    il
    tedmychi
    nandst
    aredr
    ighti
    ntomyey
    es.
    Her
    anhi
    stongueonhi
    sbot
    tom l
    i
    p.“
    Soy
    ouar
    e
    r
    eal
    l
    ydoi
    ngthi
    s?”
    “
    Ilov
    ehi
    m.”
    “Doyouev enknowwhatl
    oveis?Youdon’
    tlove
    him.Youar ej
    ustcomf
    ort
    ablewit
    hhim.Therei
    s
    adiff
    erencebetweent
    hetwo.”
    “
    Youshoul
    dleav
    e.”
    “
    Icameal
    lthewayher
    etoseey
    ou.
    ”
    “Youshoul dn’thav e.Youyourselfsai
    dy ouwer
    e
    notreadyf orany thing,t
    hatyouhav esomeone
    i
    nt hepicture.”Ilookedathim.“ Iam notgoi
    ng
    toletyouusemebecausey oudon’ tknowwhat
    todowi thy ourself.”
    “
    Whatar
    eyout
    alki
    ngabout
    ?”
    “Themessagesy ousentmet hatdaywewer e
    supposedtogot oMahalapy
    et ogether
    .You
    droppedmeandmysont helastmi nut
    eand
    youjustexpectustobether
    ef oryoutopickus
    up.
    ”
    “
    Inev
    ersenty
    ousuchmessages.
    ”
    “Don’
    tpl
    aydumbwi thmeAbe.Yousai
    dyou
    hadsomeoneinthepictur
    eandyoudi
    dn’
    twant
    tohur
    tmeandt hatIshoul
    dblocky
    ou.
    ”
    “I…”Abeputhi shandsov erhi
    sface,tr
    yingto
    piecet hepuzzlet ogetherbuthecouldn’t
    rememberany thing.“
    ThatdayIwentt omy
    brother’shouse, hiswifehadcal l
    edme, she
    want edt odiscusshi sbir
    thday.Shegav eme
    j
    ui cethenwhenIwasaboutt oleaveIfeltdi
    zzy
    .
    WhenIwokeup, Ifelt
    …t i
    red.It
    riedcal
    lingyou
    andy oudi dn’tpick.”
    “
    Am Isupposedt
    obel
    i
    evet
    hat
    ?”
    “Ihavenor easontoli
    et oy
    ou.AndIhaveno
    oneinpi cture,Il
    ongbrokeupwi t
    hmyex
    gir
    lfr
    iend.Inev ersentyouanymessagesbut
    may beLi nadidthoughIdon’tknowwhyshe
    woulddot hat.”
    Ipausedstar
    ingathi
    mthenrecal
    ledt
    he
    messages.“I
    tdoesn’
    tmatt
    ereit
    herway.Iam
    sti
    l
    lgett
    ingmarri
    ed.”
    “I
    tdoesmat t
    ersbecausei ft
    hathadn’
    t
    happened,
    whoknowswhatwoul dhave
    happened,
    youwoul dn’thavewentbacktoa
    manwhodoesn’ tvalueyou.”
    Abest
    art
    edhi
    scar
    .
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyougoi
    ng?Ihav
    etogoback.
    ”
    Hest
    eppedont
    heaccel
    erat
    oranddr
    oveaway
    .
    “
    Abest
    opt
    his.
    ”
    “
    Ihav
    etriedst
    oppingmyselfforanent
    ir
    e
    mont
    h,Ican’
    tdoitany
    mor e.”
    “
    Abedi
    l
    eIhav
    etogoback.
    ”
    “
    Youarenotgoingback,
    youar
    enotmar
    ryi
    nga
    manyoudon’
    tlove.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    ehi
    m!”
    “
    Atsomepointyoudi
    ditbutnotany
    mor
    e.I
    f
    y
    oucan’
    tseeit,
    Iwil
    lhel
    pyou.”
    Minut
    eslat
    erheparkedatt
    heSwampSt op
    l
    odge.Hesteppedoutandopenedt
    hedoorfor
    me.
    “
    Abe, youdon’
    tunder
    stand,
    myenti
    ref
    amilyi
    s
    wait
    ing.Idon’
    twantt
    oembar r
    asst
    hem l
    i
    ke
    t
    his.
    ”Tear sf
    il
    ledmyeyes.
    “Youar
    enotgoi
    ngt
    ocr
    yfort
    hatbast
    ard,
    come.”
    Het ookmyhandt henledmei nsidethelodge
    andcheckedi n.Theyt ookust oourr oom t hen
    Abeunl ockedandpul l
    edmei nside.Hecupped
    myf acel eanedov erandkissedmemaki ngme
    breatheinhismi ntbreathcoatedwi thnicot i
    ne.
    Hepul l
    edmecl oserasweki ssedsl owly.Wi th
    calmnessheunzi ppedmydr esst henpeel edit
    downl ett
    ingitpool tothefl
    oor.Chill
    sr andown
    myspi neasheki ssedmyneckdr oppingwet
    ki
    ssest omybr east.Hesuckedmyni ppl
    es
    makingmemoansof tlythrowingmyheadback
    wit
    hmyhandi nhi shairwhi l
    emypussy
    moistened.Hewentf ur t
    herdownandpul l
    ed
    outmypant i
    esandst aredatmyshav edpussy
    .
    Li
    feacal fmil
    ki
    ngi t’
    smot her,hesuckedmeasI
    cur
    ledmyt oescl osi
    ngmyey es.
    “
    Abe…”
    Heworkedhi
    smouthr el
    ent
    lessl
    yonmet i
    llmy
    bodybegunt
    ensi
    ng.Igri
    ndeddownonhi m
    cummingqui
    veri
    ngwithmyey esti
    ght
    lycl
    osed.
    “
    Abeeee….
    ”
    Hegotupandki ssedmet hent ookoffhist-
    shir
    t.It
    ookadeepbr eathstari
    ngathi m,he
    tookmyhandandputi tonhi schest.Iranmy
    fi
    ngersdownt ohisbumpyabswhi l
    eheki ssed
    me.Iunzippedhispantsandslidmyhandt hen
    touchedhisrockharddi
    cktakingitout.He
    groanedonmyl ipsasIstr
    okedhi mf eel
    inghim
    gr
    owbi
    ggeri
    nmypal
    m.
    “Fuck,Ican’
    thol
    ditanymore.
    ”Heheldmyleg
    l
    etti
    ngmest andononet hencurv
    edhisback
    aimingatmyentranceand-#removed.

    *
    **

    Eazi
    ’
    smotherwal
    kedi
    nsi
    deherr
    oom and
    fr
    owned.
    “
    Eazi
    !
    ”
    Heroldestdaughterwal
    kedi
    n.“
    Maybeshe
    fi
    nal
    lysawj usthowshewaswasti
    nghert
    ime
    andleft
    .”
    “
    Ontl
    ametsi
    ,st
    opt
    his.Fi
    nal
    l
    yshei
    sget
    ti
    ng
    mar
    ri
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Shedoesn’
    tlovehim.Sheismarr
    yinghi
    mjust
    t
    oprovepeoplewrong.I
    fmysist
    erwantsto
    l
    eav
    e,Iwil
    lsuppor
    ther.Youcan’
    tbehappythat
    shei
    smar
    ryi
    nganabuser
    .”
    Ontlametsi
    satdowntaki
    ngoutherphone
    texti
    ngEaziwhi
    lehermotherst
    ormedout
    screamingEazi
    .
    Ontl
    amet si:
    Isawt hemanwiththeAudi
    ,If
    ull
    y
    supportwhat everyouhavewithhi
    m,andIam
    happyy ouhav edecidedtonotmarr
    yMoemedi .
    Ineverli
    kedhi mt obeginwi
    th.Iwi
    lll
    ookaf
    ter
    Malctil
    l y
    oucomeback.

    *
    **

    Atthel
    odge, Abeplacedmeonthebedonmy
    kneesandpr essedmychestdownexposi
    ngmy
    pussythen-#removed.
    .
    Icl
    osedmyeyest
    ight
    lygr
    abbi
    ngthesheets
    moaninghi
    snamespasmingwhi
    l
    ehedr i
    ll
    ed
    mefrom behi
    ndandf
    inal
    l
    yfr
    ozei
    nsi
    deme,
    f
    il
    li
    ngmeup.
    “
    Uhf
    uck!
    ”
    Hegav emeonel aststrokeenjoyi
    ngthesl
    ight
    vi
    brati
    onsmypussygav ehi m.Hesli
    doutand
    watchedmypussycont ract.Il
    ayf
    latonmy
    fr
    ontthenheflippedmeov er,t
    hehungeri
    nhis
    eyessti
    ll
    visi
    ble.Heki ssedmesof tly.
    “Youcandenyever
    ythi
    ngel
    seEazi
    ,buty
    ou
    can’
    tdenythi
    s.”
    “
    Abe…”
    “Iknowy oufeelitt
    oo.Ther
    ei snot
    hingwr ongin
    start
    ingoverbabe,Icanlov
    ey oubetterthanhe
    canev erl
    ovey ou.Giv
    eusachance, givethisa
    chancebecauseIam notgoi ngtostopt i
    ll
    you
    do.”
    Ilookedi
    nhi
    sey
    esswal
    l
    owi
    ngal
    umponmy
    throat
    .
    .
    .
    .
    All
    thet
    woremoveswil
    lbepost
    edi
    nthegr
    oup
    duri
    ngt
    hecour
    seoftheday.

    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe
    #11
    #r
    emov
    ed1&2

    “Fuck,Ican’
    tholditanymore.”Heheldmyl eg
    l
    etti
    ngmest andononet hencurvedhisback
    aimingatmyent ranceanddr ovei
    ntome
    parti
    ngmypussyl i
    ps.Hekissedmesi nki
    ng
    furt
    herintomywar mnesswhi leIwhimperedin
    hismout h.Hegruntedbottomingoutwithhis
    di
    ckdeepinmeandl
    ookedi
    nmyey
    esashi
    s
    di
    ckthr
    obbedi
    nsi
    deme.
    “
    Youf
    eel
    goodbabe…”
    Hesl
    owl
    yeasedoutandsanki
    nagai
    ngr
    unt
    ing
    i
    nmyear
    .“FuckEazi
    …”
    Hestart
    edt
    hrust
    ingmesl
    owl
    ylet
    ti
    ngmywal
    l
    s
    hughim.
    “Shit!”Heslidoutandpushedatmyent r
    ance
    stretchinghiswayinwi t
    hanothergruntwhileI
    moanedsof t
    ly.Hegentl
    ythr
    ustbackandf orth,
    hisdi cktaki
    ngupal lt
    hespaceinsi
    deme.Hi s
    strokessl owlygotdeepandfaster
    ,Isqueezed
    hisbi cepsast hepl
    easurehadmest andingon
    onet oel ovi
    nghowhewasmov i
    ng.Hemov ed
    hiswai stwithhismouthonmynecksof tl
    y
    bit
    ingandsucki ng.
    “
    Abeee…”
    “
    Taket
    hatbabe…i
    t’
    sal
    lyour
    s.”
    Hedugdeeperintome, hispacechangi ng.His
    thr
    ustcamei nf
    asterandf orminuteshedr il
    l
    ed
    deepint
    omewhi leIclosedmyey esunsureof
    whattodo.Myskinitchedwi t
    ht hepleasure,my
    mindblockedal
    lthoughts.
    “
    Youf
    eel
    thatEazi
    ?”
    MymoansgotlouderasIsankmynai
    l
    sint
    ohi
    s
    back,
    mypussynarrowi
    ng.
    “
    Lookatme…”
    Iopenedmyey esandl ookedathi
    mt henhe
    ki
    ssedmeswal l
    owingmymoanspi ckingmeup.
    Iwrappedmyl egsaroundhiswaist
    ,hebegun
    mountingint
    omegr oani
    ng.Mylegsstif
    fened
    aroundhimthenhesl i
    doutandputmedown.
    “
    Abeeeee….
    ”
    “Relax…wehav
    etheent
    ir
    eweekendt
    o
    ourselv
    es.
    ”
    Het
    urnedmeandst
    oodbehi
    ndmest
    roki
    ng
    hi
    msel ft
    henpull
    edupmybut tcheekswithhis
    backcurvedandrammedi nsideme.Iscr eamed
    gett
    ingonmyt oes,heheldmywai stfucking
    me.Iclosedmyey estryi
    ngt otakeiti
    nl i
    kea
    bi
    ggi r
    lbuthewasi ntoodeep.
    Ipushedhi
    m back.“
    Abe…wai
    t.Youar
    etoo
    deep.”
    “
    Don’
    ttouchme,
    puty
    ourhandsont
    hewal
    l
    .”
    “
    Youar
    eint
    oodeep,
    ithur
    ts.
    ”
    Hekissedherneck.“
    Puty
    ourhandsont
    hewal
    l
    babe…”
    Islowl
    yputmyhandsont hewallt
    henhe
    conti
    nuedravi
    shi
    ngme,fuckingmesohardI
    couldswearhewantedt
    ot earmeup.Hepul
    led
    downlett
    ingmestandonmysol eslet
    ti
    ngt
    hat
    dickgoevendeeper
    .
    “
    Aii
    i
    iiAbedi
    l
    eee…”
    “
    It
    ’sal
    lyour
    s.”
    Abehel dmywai standpanel beatme.The
    pleasureslowlybegancoi l
    ingi t
    selfaroundme
    asIr el
    axedmybody .Ibendedsl i
    ghtlygetti
    ng
    mor estrokes.Igotmor ewet terwi t
    ht he
    pleasureswellingaroundmet urninginto
    somet hingIhav eneverexper iencedbef or
    e.
    Tearsf i
    ll
    edmyey eswhi l
    eImov edagai nsthi
    m
    want i
    nghimt ot apwhat everspothekept
    tappinginme.Myl egsbeganv i
    bratingasa
    burningurget opeet ookov er.If r
    ownedt hen
    withal oudscream, Iletitoutunabl et ostopit.
    Abegroanedasmypussysquashedhi
    m
    ti
    ght
    ening.Hef
    uckedmeevenmor egr
    unt
    ing.
    “
    Ahhhshi
    i
    it!Iam comi
    ng.
    ”
    Hegavemeaf ewmorebr
    utal
    thr
    ust
    sthen
    st
    il
    ledshoot
    inghisl
    oadi
    nme.
    “
    Fucky
    eah!Youar
    e…f
    uck!
    ”
    Hesl
    idoutandtur
    nedme.Il
    ookedathim
    br
    eat
    hingheavi
    l
    ywithweakknees.Hel
    eaned
    ov
    erandki
    ssedmesqueezi
    ngmybr
    east
    .
    “
    Iam notdonewi
    thy
    ouy
    et.
    ”
    .
    Abepl acedmeont hebedonmykneesand
    pressedmychestdownexposi ngmypussy
    thenshov edhi sdickint
    ome.Wi t
    hmychest
    down, hel ungedinsidemeov erandov erwhi
    l
    e
    hisballsslammedonmycl it.Hewat ched
    himselfmov i
    ngenj oyi
    nghav i
    ngi traw.Hi s
    consciousr emindedhi m ofallthediseasesin
    thewor ldbutwi thhisdickdeepi nsidehe
    couldn’tthinkclearl
    y.
    Hel ookedatmybut tholeandgentlyranhis
    fi
    ngert here.Myhear tskippedashepr essedhi
    s
    thumbt here,Ihadheardal otofst
    oriesofanal
    sexbuti thadneverbeenmyt hi
    ng,thethought
    actuall
    ydi sgustedme.
    “Relax…Iam notgoi
    ngt
    ohur
    tyou.I
    t’
    sal
    l
    pleasure.
    ”
    Islowlyadj
    ustedt ohisdickandhi
    sthumb
    gentlymovi
    ngi nandoutofmybut t
    hol
    e.He
    fuckedmef ormi nutes,
    batter
    ingi
    ntomewit
    h
    unapologet
    icthrusts.
    “
    OhhhGod…”
    Hemov edevenfasterthensl
    idoutt
    aki
    ngout
    hist
    humbandpr essedhi sdi
    ckonmybutt
    hol
    e.
    Iswall
    owedhardtensing.
    “
    Eazi
    …Iam notgoi
    ngt
    ohur
    tyoubabe…”
    “
    Ihav
    enev
    erdonet
    hatbef
    ore.
    ”
    “
    Iknow,
    youar
    esaf
    ewi
    thme.
    ”
    Withhiswetdi ck, hepressedgent lyatmy
    sacredhole,thef earinmet wisti
    ngmy
    i
    ntesti
    nes.Hesl idhi sfingersinmypussy
    draggi
    ngmywet nessandgent l
    yrubbedmy
    sacredhole.Hepushedati tagain,more
    forcef
    ull
    yandsl ippedi nside.Myhear tpounded
    evenmor ethenhegent lypushedwhi l
    etears
    fi
    ll
    edmyey es.
    “
    Abe…i
    t’
    spai
    nful
    .”
    Herubbedmyclitgentl
    yandpushedabi tmor
    e
    ofhi
    sdickinme.Her ubbedmyclitevenmore
    st
    imulat
    ingme,Imoanedsof t
    lyshudderi
    ngas
    hepushedhisdi
    ckev enmore.
    “
    Abe!
    ”
    “
    Rel
    axbabe…”
    Hegentl
    ybeganthrust
    ingwithquart
    erhisdi
    ck
    wi
    thslowstr
    okes.Heslidoutthenpushed
    i
    nsidemypussy,t
    hrusti
    ngintome,Imoaned
    mov i
    ngmywaistthenheslidoutandpushed
    i
    ntomyassthisti
    met hrust
    ingwit
    hhalfhisdi
    ck.
    “
    Fucky
    ouar
    esot
    ight
    …”
    Hegavemeacouplegentlestr
    okesandslid
    backi
    nsi
    demypussy, doi
    ngitoverandover
    agai
    nti
    ll
    Irel
    axedwonderi
    ngwhyi twasnice.
    Thewayhekeptmovingscreamedexperi
    ence
    andIwonder
    edift
    hat’
    showhef uckedhi
    sex.
    Hethrustint
    omypussyandf uckedmei nto
    heavenwithdeepstrokes,
    hesl i
    ppedhisthumb
    i
    ntomyass.Icl osedmyey esti
    ghtlygrabbi
    ng
    thesheetsmoaninghisnamespasmi ngwhile
    hedril
    l
    edmef r
    om behindandfinal
    lyfroze
    i
    nsideme, fi
    l
    li
    ngmeup.
    “
    Uhf
    uck!
    ”
    Hegav emeonel aststrokeenjoyi
    ngthesl
    ight
    vi
    brati
    onsmypussygav ehi m.Hesli
    doutand
    watchedmypussycont ract.Il
    ayf
    latonmy
    fr
    ontthenheflippedmeov er,t
    hehungeri
    nhis
    eyessti
    ll
    visi
    ble.Heki ssedmesof tly.
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #12
    Il
    ookeddownandputapi
    l
    lowov
    ermybr
    east
    .
    “
    It
    ’snott
    hateasy
    .”
    “
    IknowbutIam t
    her
    e.”
    “
    Peopl
    ear
    eal
    readygat
    her
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Sowhat
    ?”
    “
    Peopl
    ewi
    l
    lshameme.
    ”
    “Babehowl ongwi l
    lyouliveforpeopl e?Ifyou
    knewhowqui ckl
    yeveryonef orget
    sandmov es
    onaftersomeonedi esyouwoul dn’tbotherwith
    people’
    sopinions.Peoplewillalway stalk
    becausethat’
    swhatpeopl edobest .Eitheri
    n
    goodorbadsi t
    uati
    ons,theywillalway stal
    k.”
    “
    Myf
    ami
    l
    yisgoi
    ngt
    obeembar
    rassed.
    ”
    Abetookadeepbreat
    hst
    ari
    ngather
    .“Ar
    eyou
    ser
    iousri
    ghtnow?
    ”
    “
    Youdon’tunderst
    andandyoucan’tj
    ustexpect
    metojumpwi t
    hy ou,
    Idon’
    tevenknowy outhat
    much.Whoknowswhatmi ghthappen
    t
    omor
    row.Idon’
    tev
    enknowy
    ouri
    ntent
    ions.
    ”
    “
    Ifuckenl
    oveyou!Myi
    ntent
    ioni
    stolov
    eyou,
    to
    l
    oveyourson.Tomakeyouhappy.
    ”
    Tear
    srandownmycheeks.“
    Ijustcan’
    tleav
    e
    Abe.
    ”
    “
    Becauseofwhatwi
    l
    lpeopl
    esay
    ?”
    “
    No…”
    “
    Whycan’
    tyoul
    eav
    ethen?
    ”
    “Moemedi t
    houghtitwouldbeagoodi deat
    o
    getmarri
    edatthecommi ssioner
    ’sof
    fi
    cebefor
    e
    thebr
    idepricenegoti
    ati
    ons.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Wear
    eal
    readymar
    ri
    ed.Ican’
    tleav
    e.”
    Abelaughedwi
    thdi
    sbel
    i
    ef.“
    Youcan’
    tbe
    ser
    ious.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    ouser
    iousr
    ightnow?
    ”
    Iputmyhandov
    ermymout
    hcr
    ying.
    “
    Youser
    iousl
    ymar
    ri
    edhi
    m?Why
    ?”
    “
    Iwasn’
    tsur
    eabouty
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Ist
    haty
    ourr
    eason?Doy
    ouev
    enl
    ovehi
    m?”
    “
    Abe…”
    “Doyoulovehim?Forgetthat
    …y oucanalways
    getadi
    vorce.Iwi
    llgetalawyer.Don’
    tworry
    abouti
    t.
    ”Hegotupandt ookhisphone.
    “Abewai t…Idon’ tlovehim, Idi
    doncebutIdon’ t
    anymor e.Youar er i
    ght.ButIcan’tjustgeta
    divor
    ce, notnowatl east.IknowIshoul dn’tcar
    e
    aboutwhatpeopl ewi ll
    saybutIdo, ei
    therway ,
    I
    wanttol eavehi m peacef ul
    ly.Idon’tl
    ovehi m
    andIwi lldivor
    cehi m, j
    ustnotnow.Idon’ twant
    tobecal lednamesandhav emyi maget aint
    ed.
    Itwon’taf f
    ectjustme, itwillaf
    fectmysont oo.
    ”
    “Thosepeopl
    ey ouaresowor
    ri
    edaboutdon’
    t
    giveafuckaboutyou.
    ”
    Igotupandputmyhandsonhi
    swai
    st.
    “Idon’tknowwhati ti
    sbutIf eeli
    ttoo,
    Iwant
    what ’
    srightherebutIwantapeacef ul
    div
    orce,
    adivorcewher ebyIwon’tbecall
    ednames
    becauseIwi llbejumpingtoanotherman.I
    don’twantt ofightwi
    thMoemedi ,whoknows
    whathemi ghtdo?Hemi ghthur
    tmyson.”
    “
    Ory
    ou,
    that
    ’swhyy
    ouneedt
    oleav
    ehi
    m.”
    “Gi
    vemeacoupl
    eofmonths,l
    ett
    hedustset
    tl
    e
    andIwi
    l
    ldi
    vor
    cehim.Ipr
    omiseIwil
    l
    .”
    “
    Yourreasoni
    ngdoesn’
    tmakesense.Doy
    ou
    l
    ovebeingabused?I
    sthati
    t?”
    “Hedoesn’
    thitmeany
    mor
    e,wear
    erecei
    vi
    ng
    counsel
    i
    ng.”
    “OtshamekelamogonnaEazi
    ,what
    counsel
    ing?
    ”
    “Sot
    hathedeal
    swithhi
    sprobl
    ems.Hei
    s
    depr
    essed,
    hemightki
    ll
    himsel
    f.
    ”
    “
    Sowhat
    ?”
    “
    Hei
    sMal
    col
    m’sf
    ather
    .”
    Helookedatmeandshookhi
    shead.“
    Ican’
    t
    bel
    i
    evet hi
    s.”
    “
    Iam goi
    ngt
    odi
    vor
    cehi
    m.”
    “Iactual
    lycan’
    tbel
    i
    eveIam i
    nlovewit
    ha
    mar r
    iedwoman.GodknowsifIcouldchoose
    whot oloveitwoul
    dn’
    tbeyoubecauseyou
    don’thaveabackbone.
    ”
    “
    Ican’
    tchangewhaty
    out
    hinkaboutme-
    “
    “Youdon’thav etochangeanythingbecause
    that
    ’sthetruth.Howcouldyouj ustgetmarri
    ed
    l
    ikethat?Iknowhemani pul
    atedy ouint
    oit
    pret
    endingt obedepressedbutcoul dn’
    tyousee
    foryoursel
    f?”
    Heputhi shandsonhisf
    acehisemoti
    ons
    gett
    ingthebestoutofhi
    m.“Ican’
    tbel
    iev
    ethi
    s…
    Ihadplansforus…”Hesadl
    ylookedatme.
    “Whywoul
    dyoumarr
    ysomeoney oudon’tl
    ove
    Eazi
    ?Someonewhobeat
    sy ou?Howmany
    ti
    meshashesai
    dhewon’tdoitagai
    n?”
    Hegotupandr ubbedhi
    seyesfaci
    ngaway
    f
    rom herunabl
    etohidehi
    spain.
    “Dressup.Iwill
    waitf
    ory oui
    nthecar.
    ”He
    zippedhispantsandpickedhi
    st-
    shir
    tfrom t
    he
    fl
    oor.Isadl
    ylookedathim ashetookhiscar
    keysandwal kedout.

    *
    **

    I
    nhiscarAbeclosedhi
    seyes,hi
    sphone
    v
    ibr
    ated.Heansweredhi
    sfather
    ’scal
    l
    .
    “
    Dad…”
    “
    Son,
    wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Iam comi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Thatwasnotmyquest
    ion,
    wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Sepopa.
    ”
    “
    Sepopa?Downt
    her
    einMaun?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngt
    her
    e?”
    “
    Icamet
    oseesomeone.
    ”
    Hi
    sfatherchuckl
    ed.“Awoman?Ihopeshei
    s
    wort
    hit,y
    ouhav etr
    avel
    l
    edovert
    housand
    ki
    l
    omet er
    sforher.
    ”
    “
    Ahhh…”
    “
    Whati
    sit
    ?”
    “
    Shei
    smar
    ri
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Youdi
    dn’
    tknow?Shehi
    ditf
    rom y
    ou?
    ”
    “She…shewasn’tmarr
    iedl
    astti
    meIsawher,
    shewasgoi ngtol
    eav
    ehim becausehewas
    abusingherandnowshetel
    lsmet heyar
    e
    mar r
    ied.
    ”
    Hi
    sf at
    herl
    i
    stenedt
    ohi
    sshakyv
    oice.“
    Arey
    ou
    cr
    ying?”
    Abet
    ookadeepbr
    eat
    h.“
    No.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    e.Iknowy
    ou.
    ”
    Abeputhist-
    shi
    rtov
    erhisface.“
    Ilov
    eher…I
    can’
    tbel
    ieveIl
    oveher…Itr
    iedtocontr
    oli
    t.
    ”
    “
    Sonwedon’
    tchoosewhot
    olov
    e.”
    “
    Iwi
    shIcanswi
    tchof
    fmyf
    eel
    i
    ngs.
    ”
    “Youcan’tbutyoucan’
    tcryf orawoman, t
    hat
    showsweakness.Whatdi dIsayaboutcr y
    ing?I
    thoughtyouwerepastthat.Ifsheseesyou
    cryi
    ng,shewill
    alwaysuset hattoherown
    advantage.
    ”
    “
    Hedoesn’
    tdeser
    veher
    .”
    “
    Comeback,
    somethingsarenotwor
    thi
    t.I
    t
    woul
    dbeawayforGodtotell
    uswhenit
    ’snot
    meantt
    obe.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Sor
    tyouremot
    ionsandcomeback.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hisfatherhungup.Abetookadeepbr eathand
    wipedhisfaceandputonhi st
    -shi
    rt
    .Hel ooked
    atmeasIgoti nthecar.Hisey
    eswer ereddish,
    Isighed.
    “
    Abe.
    .-
    “
    “
    Ihav
    ehear
    denough.
    ”
    Hestart
    edthecarandspedbacktomyhome.
    Minut
    eslat
    erhestoppedthecaratt
    hegat
    e.
    “Ihopehei sworthi
    t,Iam doner unningafter
    you,Iam goingtoacceptmyr ealit
    yandmov e
    on.Iwillev
    entual
    lyfi
    ndsomeoner ightforme,
    someoneIwon’ thavetor unafterandcr yover,
    someonet olove.Iwi
    shf ornothingbut
    happinessinyourmar r
    iagewithawoman
    beater.
    ”
    “
    Yourmoney
    -“
    “
    Don’
    tbot
    her
    ,keepi
    t.
    ”
    Il
    ookedathi
    m.“
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Don’
    tbe,
    bye.
    ”

    *
    **

    Play
    ingwi t
    hotherki
    ds,Malcol
    m noti
    cedthe
    famil
    iarcarandranoverbaref
    oot
    ed.His
    mothersteppedoutthenhegotinthecarand
    j
    umpedonAbe.
    “
    Uncl
    eAbe!
    ”
    Abel
    aughed.“
    Heychamp!
    ”
    “
    Imi
    ssedy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Imi
    ssedy
    out
    oo.
    ”
    “
    Papat
    oldmamat
    osel
    lmynewcl
    othes.
    ”
    “
    Mal
    col
    m,gobackandpl
    ay!
    ”
    “
    Whatdi
    dIsayaboutshout
    ingathi
    m?”
    Ikeptquiett
    henhesmil
    edatMalcol
    m.“
    One
    daymay beIwil
    lbuyy
    oumore.”
    “
    Ial
    sowantt
    hegi
    antt
    ruck!
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    lgety
    ouev
    ery
    thi
    ngy
    ouwant
    .”
    Mal
    col
    m huggedhi
    mti
    ght
    ly.“
    Ilov
    eyou…”
    Abesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Ilov
    eyout
    oochamp.
    ”
    Hereachedatt
    hebackandgott
    heshoppi
    ng
    bags.
    “Ihadboughtt
    hisf
    ory
    ouandhi
    m.Tr
    ynotsel
    l
    hiscl
    othes.
    ”
    Isl
    owl
    ytookt
    heshoppi
    ngbags.“
    Mal
    col
    mlet
    ’s
    go.
    ”
    “
    Whycan’twegowithuncl
    eAbe.Hei
    sni
    ce.He
    wi
    ll
    takeusshoppi
    ngandhewil
    lbuyusl
    otsof
    f
    ood.Ri
    ghtuncl
    eAbe?”
    “
    Yeah…”
    Il
    ookedatMal
    col
    m.“Mal
    col
    m,come,
    let
    ’sgo.
    Uncl
    eAbehastogo.
    ”
    “ButIwantt
    ostaywi
    thhi
    m,mamapl
    easel
    et’
    s
    staywit
    hhim.”
    It
    ookadeepbr
    eat
    h.“
    Mal
    col
    m,pl
    ease…”
    “Champ,
    Ireal
    lyhav
    etogobutIwi
    l
    lcomeback
    andseeyou.
    ”
    Mal
    colm sadl
    ylookedathim.“
    ButIwantt
    ogo
    wi
    thyou.Mamal et’
    sgo.”
    Mymot
    herwal
    kedov
    er.“
    Eazi
    ,what
    ’st
    his?
    ”
    Il
    ookedather
    .“Mama.
    .-
    “
    “Whereareyoucomi ngf
    rom?Andwho’ sthis?
    Yourunoffwit
    hmenwheny ourmagadii
    s
    bei
    nghandedov ertoday
    ?Whatsor tofbehavi
    or
    i
    sthat?Will
    youev erdoanythi
    ngri
    ght?Whydo
    youalwayswanttomessi tup?Sonowont op
    ofevery
    thi
    ng,youareawhor e?”
    “
    Don’
    ttal
    ktoherl
    i
    ket
    hat
    .”
    Myhear
    tpoundedasshel
    ookedathi
    m.“
    Who
    doy
    outhinkyouar
    e?”
    Ontl
    ametsi
    walkedover.“
    Heisr
    ight
    ,whyar
    e
    youtal
    ki
    ngtoherli
    kethat
    ?”
    “
    Thi
    sisnot
    -“
    “Eazii
    sagr ownwoman.Eazi,
    whati
    sit
    ?You
    wanty ourbags?Geti
    nthecar
    ,Iwi
    ll
    bri
    ng
    every
    thing.
    ”
    “Andwherei sshegoi
    nginthecar
    ?Youwantto
    embarrassmei nfr
    ontofpeopl
    e?Eazi
    ?Was
    thi
    syourplan?Toembarrassmeliket
    hisaf
    terI
    havegatheredpeopl
    e?”
    “
    Sheisgoi
    ngwit
    hhim!Eazi
    doesn’
    twantt
    o
    mar
    ryanabuser
    .”
    Il
    ookedatOnt
    lamet
    si.“
    Ont
    la,
    Ican’
    tjust
    -“
    “Heywenavoet
    sek!Iwi
    l
    lsl
    apy
    ousohar
    d!You
    can’
    twhat?
    ”
    “
    Peopl
    ehav
    egat
    her
    ed.
    ”
    “So?Theywi
    llscatt
    er!Geti
    nt hecar
    .”Ontlamesi
    l
    eanedoverandlookedatAbe.“ Dumelang,my
    nameisOntl
    amet si
    ,mysisteriscomingwi t
    h
    you.
    ”
    “
    Ont
    la…y
    oudon’
    tunder
    stamd.
    ”
    “Nyuny on’
    tny ander stand?Keunder standang?
    (Whatam Iunder standi ng?
    ).Youar egoi ngwi t
    h
    him.Idon’tknowhi m andmay behei sbadbut
    haaii
    iatleastcrysi ttinginaAudi esengo
    tsamay akaHondaf eet !Upgrademoghel .
    Upgrade.Lookwhaty ouarehol di
    ng!For chini
    shoppingbag, doesMoemedi nowFor chini?Do
    youknowFor chini?Youar eholdingaMAC
    shoppingbaggi rl,doy ouknowev enknowMAC
    l
    ipsti
    ck?Upgr ade.St opembar rassingme, nyu
    nyon’
    tny anderstandwamasepa! ”
    Mymot herboi
    ledstar
    ingatOntlametsi
    .“You
    arearott
    enappleOntlamet
    si!IwishIneverhad
    you.Youarepoisoni
    ngmychi l
    d.”
    “
    Theappledoesn’
    tfal
    lfarf
    rom t
    het
    ree,
    doesi
    t
    mot
    her?”
    “
    Iam di
    sowni
    ngy
    ou!
    ”
    “
    Goahead.
    ”
    OntlametsipushedEazi i
    nsi
    dethecarthengot
    i
    natt heback.“ Iam al
    sogoing,
    Iwon’tbepart
    ofthisjoke!Mogwet si
    ,aedumeetsamay e.(
    Let
    i
    trav eandt akeoff
    .)
    ”
    Il
    ookedatOnt
    lamet
    si.“
    Ont
    la-
    “
    “
    Gor i
    l
    eng?(Whati sit
    ?)Iwi
    l
    lsl
    apyouinf
    rontof
    yourson.Malcol
    m, comeandsi
    tatt
    heback
    withyourf
    avorit
    eaunt.”
    Malcol
    mj umpedovert
    othebackt
    henAbet
    ook
    of
    fleavi
    ngdustint
    heair.

    *
    **
    Meanwhil
    eMoemedi ’
    soldfather
    ’scarpull
    edup
    atthegat
    ethenMoemedi st
    eppedoutand
    l
    ookedatthegreyAudidri
    vi
    ngoffwitha
    poundi
    ngheart,
    helookedathismotherin-
    law.
    “
    Wher
    eisEazi
    ?”
    “
    Eish….Ngwanaoontabi
    sadi
    thong!(
    Thi
    schi
    l
    d
    i
    sembar r
    assi
    ngme.
    )”
    “
    Wher
    eisshe?
    ”
    “
    Weshoul
    dsi
    tdownandt
    alk.
    ”
    Moemeditookouthi
    sphoneandt
    ri
    edcal
    l
    ing
    her
    .Herphonerangf
    orawhil
    e.
    “
    Heywena,
    whatdoy
    ouwant
    ?”
    HefrownedatOnt
    lamet
    s’sv
    oice.“
    Iwantt
    o
    speaktoEazi
    .”
    “
    Eazi
    isbusy
    ,whatdoy
    ouwant
    ?”
    “
    Pleasel
    et-
    “
    “
    Iam sor
    rypapa,
    Eazi
    isnotgoi
    ngt
    otal
    ktoy
    ou.
    Bye!Andifyout r
    ycall
    ingheragainorbotheri
    ng
    her,
    Iwil
    lkil
    lyouandy ourentir
    efamil
    y.Iam not
    asoldi
    erforjokes.Youmustt akemysilenceall
    thi
    syearsforfooli
    shness,boyyouwill
    die.”
    Ont
    lametsihungupthenMoemedit
    earf
    ull
    y
    l
    ookedathismotherin-
    lawashi
    suncl
    es
    wal
    kedov er
    .
    “
    Isev
    ery
    thi
    ngok?
    ”
    Moemediturnedbacktohisunclesandsmi l
    ed.
    “
    Yes…butMal col
    m gotsickandEazi hadto
    t
    akehimtot hecl
    ini
    c.”Heturnedbackt ohi
    s
    motheri
    n-l
    aw.“Canwegoonwi thouther?”
    MmagweEazi
    smi
    l
    ed.“
    Yesofcause.
    .”
    Hi
    suncl
    essmi
    l
    ed.
    .“Good.
    ”
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe
    #12

    Il
    ookeddownandputapi
    l
    lowov
    ermybr
    east
    .
    “
    It
    ’snott
    hateasy
    .”
    “
    IknowbutIam t
    her
    e.”
    “
    Peopl
    ear
    eal
    readygat
    her
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Sowhat
    ?”
    “
    Peopl
    ewi
    l
    lshameme.
    ”
    “Babehowl ongwi l
    lyouliveforpeopl e?Ifyou
    knewhowqui ckl
    yeveryonef orget
    sandmov es
    onaftersomeonedi esyouwoul dn’tbotherwith
    people’
    sopinions.Peoplewillalway stalk
    becausethat’
    swhatpeopl edobest .Eitheri
    n
    goodorbadsi t
    uati
    ons,theywillalway stal
    k.”
    “
    Myf
    ami
    l
    yisgoi
    ngt
    obeembar
    rassed.
    ”
    Abetookadeepbreat
    hst
    ari
    ngather
    .“Ar
    eyou
    ser
    iousri
    ghtnow?
    ”
    “
    Youdon’tunderst
    andandy oucan’tjustexpect
    metojumpwi t
    hy ou,Idon’
    tevenknowy outhat
    much.Whoknowswhatmi ghthappen
    t
    omorrow.Idon’
    tev enknowyourintenti
    ons.”
    “
    Ifuckenl
    oveyou!Myi
    ntent
    ioni
    stolov
    eyou,
    to
    l
    oveyourson.Tomakeyouhappy.
    ”
    Tear
    srandownmycheeks.“
    Ijustcan’
    tleav
    e
    Abe.
    ”
    “
    Becauseofwhatwi
    l
    lpeopl
    esay
    ?”
    “
    No…”
    “
    Whycan’
    tyoul
    eav
    ethen?
    ”
    “Moemedi t
    houghtitwouldbeagoodi deat
    o
    getmarri
    edatthecommi ssioner
    ’sof
    fi
    cebefor
    e
    thebr
    idepricenegoti
    ati
    ons.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Wear
    eal
    readymar
    ri
    ed.Ican’
    tleav
    e.”
    Abelaughedwi
    thdi
    sbel
    i
    ef.“
    Youcan’
    tbe
    ser
    ious.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    ouser
    iousr
    ightnow?
    ”
    Iputmyhandov
    ermymout
    hcr
    ying.
    “
    Youser
    iousl
    ymar
    ri
    edhi
    m?Why
    ?”
    “
    Iwasn’
    tsur
    eabouty
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Ist
    haty
    ourr
    eason?Doy
    ouev
    enl
    ovehi
    m?”
    “
    Abe…”
    “Doyoulovehim?Forgetthat
    …y oucanalways
    getadi
    vorce.Iwi
    llgetalawyer.Don’
    tworry
    abouti
    t.
    ”Hegotupandt ookhisphone.
    “Abewai t…Idon’ tlovehim, Idi
    doncebutIdon’ t
    anymor e.Youar er i
    ght.ButIcan’tjustgeta
    divor
    ce, notnowatl east.IknowIshoul dn’tcar
    e
    aboutwhatpeopl ewi ll
    saybutIdo, ei
    therway ,
    I
    wanttol eavehi m peacef ul
    ly.Idon’tl
    ovehi m
    andIwi lldivor
    cehi m, j
    ustnotnow.Idon’ twant
    tobecal lednamesandhav emyi maget aint
    ed.
    Itwon’taf f
    ectjustme, itwillaf
    fectmysont oo.
    ”
    “Thosepeopl
    ey ouaresowor
    ri
    edaboutdon’
    t
    giveafuckaboutyou.
    ”
    Igotupandputmyhandsonhi
    swai
    st.
    “Idon’tknowwhati ti
    sbutIf eeli
    ttoo,
    Iwant
    what ’
    srightherebutIwantapeacef ul
    div
    orce,
    adivorcewher ebyIwon’tbecall
    ednames
    becauseIwi llbejumpingtoanotherman.I
    don’twantt ofightwi
    thMoemedi ,whoknows
    whathemi ghtdo?Hemi ghthur
    tmyson.”
    “
    Ory
    ou,
    that
    ’swhyy
    ouneedt
    oleav
    ehi
    m.”
    “Gi
    vemeacoupl
    eofmonths,l
    ett
    hedustset
    tl
    e
    andIwi
    l
    ldi
    vor
    cehim.Ipr
    omiseIwil
    l
    .”
    “
    Yourreasoni
    ngdoesn’
    tmakesense.Doy
    ou
    l
    ovebeingabused?I
    sthati
    t?”
    “Hedoesn’
    thitmeany
    mor
    e,wear
    erecei
    vi
    ng
    counsel
    i
    ng.”
    “OtshamekelamogonnaEazi
    ,what
    counsel
    ing?
    ”
    “Sot
    hathedeal
    swithhi
    sprobl
    ems.Hei
    s
    depr
    essed,
    hemightki
    ll
    himsel
    f.
    ”
    “
    Sowhat
    ?”
    “
    Hei
    sMal
    col
    m’sf
    ather
    .”
    Helookedatmeandshookhi
    shead.“
    Ican’
    t
    bel
    i
    evet hi
    s.”
    “
    Iam goi
    ngt
    odi
    vor
    cehi
    m.”
    “Iactual
    lycan’
    tbel
    i
    eveIam i
    nlovewit
    ha
    mar r
    iedwoman.GodknowsifIcouldchoose
    whot oloveitwoul
    dn’
    tbeyoubecauseyou
    don’thaveabackbone.
    ”
    “
    Ican’
    tchangewhaty
    out
    hinkaboutme-
    “
    “Youdon’thav etochangeanythingbecause
    that
    ’sthetruth.Howcouldyouj ustgetmarri
    ed
    l
    ikethat?Iknowhemani pul
    atedy ouint
    oit
    pret
    endingt obedepressedbutcoul dn’
    tyousee
    foryoursel
    f?”
    Heputhi
    shandsonhi
    sfacehi
    semot
    ions
    gett
    ingthebestoutofhi
    m.“Ican’tbel
    iev
    ethis…
    Ihadplansforus…”Hesadl
    yl ookedatme.
    “Whywoul dyoumarrysomeoney oudon’tl
    ove
    Eazi
    ?Someonewhobeat syou?Howmany
    ti
    meshashesai dhewon’tdoi tagai
    n?”
    Hegotupandr ubbedhi
    seyesfaci
    ngaway
    f
    rom herunabl
    etohidehi
    spain.
    “Dressup.Iwill
    waitf
    ory oui
    nthecar.
    ”He
    zippedhispantsandpickedhi
    st-
    shir
    tfrom t
    he
    fl
    oor.Isadl
    ylookedathim ashetookhiscar
    keysandwal kedout.

    *
    **

    I
    nhiscarAbeclosedhi
    seyes,hi
    sphone
    v
    ibr
    ated.Heansweredhi
    sfather
    ’scal
    l
    .
    “
    Dad…”
    “
    Son,
    wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Iam comi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Thatwasnotmyquest
    ion,
    wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Sepopa.
    ”
    “
    Sepopa?Downt
    her
    einMaun?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngt
    her
    e?”
    “
    Icamet
    oseesomeone.
    ”
    Hi
    sfatherchuckl
    ed.“Awoman?Ihopeshei
    s
    wort
    hit,y
    ouhav etr
    avel
    l
    edovert
    housand
    ki
    l
    omet er
    sforher.
    ”
    “
    Ahhh…”
    “
    Whati
    sit
    ?”
    “
    Shei
    smar
    ri
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Youdi
    dn’
    tknow?Shehi
    ditf
    rom y
    ou?
    ”
    “She…shewasn’
    tmarr
    iedl
    astti
    meIsawher,
    shewasgoingtol
    eav
    ehim becausehewas
    abusi
    ngherandnowshetel
    lsmet heyar
    e
    mar
    ri
    ed.
    ”
    Hi
    sf at
    herl
    i
    stenedt
    ohi
    sshakyv
    oice.“
    Arey
    ou
    cr
    ying?”
    Abet
    ookadeepbr
    eat
    h.“
    No.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    e.Iknowy
    ou.
    ”
    Abeputhist-
    shi
    rtov
    erhisface.“
    Ilov
    eher…I
    can’
    tbel
    ieveIl
    oveher…Itr
    iedtocontr
    oli
    t.
    ”
    “
    Sonwedon’
    tchoosewhot
    olov
    e.”
    “
    Iwi
    shIcanswi
    tchof
    fmyf
    eel
    i
    ngs.
    ”
    “Youcan’tbutyoucan’
    tcryf orawoman, t
    hat
    showsweakness.Whatdi dIsayaboutcr y
    ing?I
    thoughtyouwerepastthat.Ifsheseesyou
    cryi
    ng,shewill
    alwaysuset hattoherown
    advantage.
    ”
    “
    Hedoesn’
    tdeser
    veher
    .”
    “
    Comeback,
    somethingsarenotwor
    thi
    t.I
    t
    woul
    dbeawayforGodtotell
    uswhenit
    ’snot
    meantt
    obe.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Sor
    tyouremot
    ionsandcomeback.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hisfatherhungup.Abetookadeepbr eathand
    wipedhisfaceandputonhi st
    -shi
    rt
    .Hel ooked
    atmeasIgoti nthecar.Hisey
    eswer ereddish,
    Isighed.
    “
    Abe.
    .-
    “
    “
    Ihav
    ehear
    denough.
    ”
    Hestart
    edthecarandspedbacktomyhome.
    Minut
    eslat
    erhestoppedthecaratt
    hegat
    e.
    “Ihopehei sworthi
    t,Iam doner unningafter
    you,Iam goingtoacceptmyr ealit
    yandmov e
    on.Iwillev
    entual
    lyfi
    ndsomeoner ightforme,
    someoneIwon’ thavetor unafterandcr yover,
    someonet olove.Iwi
    shf ornothingbut
    happinessinyourmar r
    iagewithawoman
    beater.
    ”
    “
    Yourmoney
    -“
    “
    Don’
    tbot
    her
    ,keepi
    t.
    ”
    Il
    ookedathi
    m.“
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Don’
    tbe,
    bye.
    ”

    *
    **

    Play
    ingwi t
    hotherki
    ds,Malcol
    m noti
    cedthe
    famil
    iarcarandranoverbaref
    oot
    ed.His
    mothersteppedoutthenhegotinthecarand
    j
    umpedonAbe.
    “
    Uncl
    eAbe!
    ”
    Abel
    aughed.“
    Heychamp!
    ”
    “
    Imi
    ssedy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Imi
    ssedy
    out
    oo.
    ”
    “
    Papat
    oldmamat
    osel
    lmynewcl
    othes.
    ”
    “
    Mal
    col
    m,gobackandpl
    ay!
    ”
    “
    Whatdi
    dIsayaboutshout
    ingathi
    m?”
    Ikeptquiett
    henhesmil
    edatMalcol
    m.“
    One
    daymay beIwil
    lbuyy
    oumore.”
    “
    Ial
    sowantt
    hegi
    antt
    ruck!
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    lgety
    ouev
    ery
    thi
    ngy
    ouwant
    .”
    Mal
    col
    m huggedhi
    mti
    ght
    ly.“
    Ilov
    eyou…”
    Abesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Ilov
    eyout
    oochamp.
    ”
    Hereachedatt
    hebackandgott
    heshoppi
    ng
    bags.
    “Ihadboughtt
    hisf
    ory
    ouandhi
    m.Tr
    ynotsel
    l
    hiscl
    othes.
    ”
    Isl
    owl
    ytookt
    heshoppi
    ngbags.“
    Mal
    col
    mlet
    ’s
    go.
    ”
    “
    Whycan’twegowithuncl
    eAbe.Hei
    sni
    ce.He
    wi
    ll
    takeusshoppi
    ngandhewil
    lbuyusl
    otsof
    f
    ood.Ri
    ghtuncl
    eAbe?”
    “
    Yeah…”
    Il
    ookedatMal
    col
    m.“Mal
    col
    m,come,
    let
    ’sgo.
    Uncl
    eAbehastogo.
    ”
    “ButIwantt
    ostaywi
    thhi
    m,mamapl
    easel
    et’
    s
    staywit
    hhim.”
    It
    ookadeepbr
    eat
    h.“
    Mal
    col
    m,pl
    ease…”
    “Champ,
    Ireal
    lyhav
    etogobutIwi
    l
    lcomeback
    andseeyou.
    ”
    Mal
    colm sadl
    ylookedathim.“
    ButIwantt
    ogo
    wi
    thyou.Mamal et’
    sgo.”
    Mymot
    herwal
    kedov
    er.“
    Eazi
    ,what
    ’st
    his?
    ”
    Il
    ookedather
    .“Mama.
    .-
    “
    “Whereareyoucomi ngf
    rom?Andwho’ sthis?
    Yourunoffwit
    hmenwheny ourmagadii
    s
    bei
    nghandedov ertoday
    ?Whatsor tofbehavi
    or
    i
    sthat?Will
    youev erdoanythi
    ngri
    ght?Whydo
    youalwayswanttomessi tup?Sonowont op
    ofevery
    thi
    ng,youareawhor e?”
    “
    Don’
    ttal
    ktoherl
    i
    ket
    hat
    .”
    Myhear
    tpoundedasshel
    ookedathi
    m.“
    Who
    doy
    outhinkyouar
    e?”
    Ontl
    ametsi
    walkedover.“
    Heisr
    ight
    ,whyar
    e
    youtal
    ki
    ngtoherli
    kethat
    ?”
    “
    Thi
    sisnot
    -“
    “Eazii
    sagr ownwoman.Eazi,
    whati
    sit
    ?You
    wanty ourbags?Geti
    nthecar
    ,Iwi
    ll
    bri
    ng
    every
    thing.
    ”
    “Andwherei sshegoi
    nginthecar
    ?Youwantto
    embarrassmei nfr
    ontofpeopl
    e?Eazi
    ?Was
    thi
    syourplan?Toembarrassmeliket
    hisaf
    terI
    havegatheredpeopl
    e?”
    “
    Sheisgoi
    ngwit
    hhim!Eazi
    doesn’
    twantt
    o
    mar
    ryanabuser
    .”
    Il
    ookedatOnt
    lamet
    si.“
    Ont
    la,
    Ican’
    tjust
    -“
    “Heywenavoet
    sek!Iwi
    l
    lsl
    apy
    ousohar
    d!You
    can’
    twhat?
    ”
    “
    Peopl
    ehav
    egat
    her
    ed.
    ”
    “So?Theywi
    llscatt
    er!Geti
    nt hecar
    .”Ontlamesi
    l
    eanedoverandlookedatAbe.“ Dumelang,my
    nameisOntl
    amet si
    ,mysisteriscomingwi t
    h
    you.
    ”
    “
    Ont
    la…y
    oudon’
    tunder
    stamd.
    ”
    “Nyuny on’
    tny ander stand?Keunder standang?
    (Whatam Iunder standi ng?
    ).Youar egoi ngwi t
    h
    him.Idon’tknowhi m andmay behei sbadbut
    haaii
    iatleastcrysi ttinginaAudi esengo
    tsamay akaHondaf eet !Upgrademoghel .
    Upgrade.Lookwhaty ouarehol di
    ng!For chini
    shoppingbag, doesMoemedi nowFor chini?Do
    youknowFor chini?Youar eholdingaMAC
    shoppingbaggi rl,doy ouknowev enknowMAC
    l
    ipsti
    ck?Upgr ade.St opembar rassingme, nyu
    nyon’
    tny anderstandwamasepa! ”
    Mymotherboi
    l
    edstar
    ingatOntl
    ametsi
    .“You
    ar
    earott
    enappleOnt
    lamet
    si!Iwi
    shIneverhad
    y
    ou.Youar
    epoi
    soni
    ngmychi
    l
    d.”
    “
    Theappledoesn’
    tfal
    lfarf
    rom t
    het
    ree,
    doesi
    t
    mot
    her?”
    “
    Iam di
    sowni
    ngy
    ou!
    ”
    “
    Goahead.
    ”
    OntlametsipushedEazi i
    nsi
    dethecarthengot
    i
    natt heback.“ Iam al
    sogoing,
    Iwon’tbepart
    ofthisjoke!Mogwet si
    ,aedumeetsamay e.(
    Let
    i
    trav eandt akeoff
    .)
    ”
    Il
    ookedatOnt
    lamet
    si.“
    Ont
    la-
    “
    “
    Gor i
    l
    eng?(Whati sit
    ?)Iwi
    l
    lsl
    apyouinf
    rontof
    yourson.Malcol
    m, comeandsi
    tatt
    heback
    withyourf
    avorit
    eaunt.”
    Malcol
    mj umpedovert
    othebackt
    henAbet
    ook
    of
    fleavi
    ngdustint
    heair.

    *
    **
    Meanwhil
    eMoemedi ’
    soldfather
    ’scarpull
    edup
    atthegat
    ethenMoemedi st
    eppedoutand
    l
    ookedatthegreyAudidri
    vi
    ngoffwitha
    poundi
    ngheart,
    helookedathismotherin-
    law.
    “
    Wher
    eisEazi
    ?”
    “
    Eish….Ngwanaoontabi
    sadi
    thong!(
    Thi
    schi
    l
    d
    i
    sembar r
    assi
    ngme.
    )”
    “
    Wher
    eisshe?
    ”
    “
    Weshoul
    dsi
    tdownandt
    alk.
    ”
    Moemeditookouthi
    sphoneandt
    ri
    edcal
    l
    ing
    her
    .Herphonerangf
    orawhil
    e.
    “
    Heywena,
    whatdoy
    ouwant
    ?”
    HefrownedatOnt
    lamet
    s’sv
    oice.“
    Iwantt
    o
    speaktoEazi
    .”
    “
    Eazi
    isbusy
    ,whatdoy
    ouwant
    ?”
    “
    Pleasel
    et-
    “
    “Iam sorrypapa, Eaziisnotgoingtotalktoy ou.
    Bye!Andi fyout r
    ycal l
    ingheragainorbot heri
    ng
    her,
    Iwi l
    lkil
    lyouandy ourentir
    efamil
    y .Iam not
    asoldierforjokes.Youmustt akemysi l
    enceal l
    thi
    syear sforfoolishness,boyyouwilldie.”
    Ont
    lametsihungupthenMoemedit
    earf
    ull
    y
    l
    ookedathismotherin-
    lawashi
    suncl
    es
    wal
    kedov er
    .
    “
    Isev
    ery
    thi
    ngok?
    ”
    Moemediturnedbacktohisunclesandsmi l
    ed.
    “
    Yes…butMal col
    m gotsickandEazi hadto
    t
    akehimtot hecl
    ini
    c.”Heturnedbackt ohi
    s
    motheri
    n-l
    aw.“Canwegoonwi thouther?”
    MmagweEazi
    smi
    l
    ed.“
    Yesofcause.
    .”
    Hi
    suncl
    essmi
    l
    ed.
    .“Good.
    ”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAwi
    fe

    #13

    I
    nMaun,Abepar
    kedhi
    scaratamal
    l
    .He
    l
    ookedatme.
    "
    Let
    'sgoandgetf
    ood.
    "
    Il
    ookedathi
    m angr
    il
    y."
    Iam nothungr
    y."
    "
    Mal
    col
    mis.Let
    'sgo.
    "
    Ont
    lamet
    sil
    eanedf
    orwar
    d."
    Iam al
    sohungr
    y."
    Abest
    eppedout
    .
    "
    What'sgoi
    ngonwithy
    ouEazi?Idon'
    tknow
    t
    hisguybutheseemsl
    ikeagoodguy."
    "
    Youdon'
    tknowhi
    m."
    "Youar
    eri
    ght.IdoknowMoemedi
    andIknow
    heisnotr
    ightf
    oryou.
    "
    "
    Hei
    smyhusband.
    "
    "
    Not
    hingwi
    l
    lhappeni
    nyourabsence.
    "
    "
    Wegotmar
    ri
    edatt
    hecommi
    ssi
    oner
    ’sof
    fi
    ce.
    "
    Ont
    lamet
    sichuckl
    edshaki
    ngherhead."
    Why
    ?"
    "
    Moemedi
    sai
    d-"
    "Whenwil
    lyouthi
    nkforyourself
    ?Yousound
    stupi
    dri
    ghtnow,Moemedi saidthi
    sandthat
    ,
    didhehol
    dy ouatgunpoint
    ?"
    "
    Imar
    riedhi
    m becauseIwant
    edt
    o!St
    opcal
    l
    ing
    mest
    upid.
    "
    "Youareweakandi t
    'snotevenf unnyany mor e.
    Howdoy oumar ryamanwhoabusesy ouy et
    l
    ivesbyyou?Heneedsy oumor ethany ouneed
    himyetyoustil
    ll
    ethim convinceyouot herwise.
    Hedoesn'tdeserv
    ey ou.Ify
    oucan' thandlemen
    thenbesingl
    e."
    "Iwi
    l
    lnotbeadvi
    sedbysomeonewhof
    ail
    edher
    ownmarri
    age!
    "
    Ontlamet sil
    aughed."Idi dn'
    tfailanythi ng.I
    walkedawayanddi dwhatwasr i
    ght ful f
    orme,
    youbadl ywantt ogetmar ri
    ed.Don’ tlose
    yourselfli
    kethi
    sEazi .Idon’ tev enknowwho
    youar eany more,i
    t’
    sl ikey ouanent iredi f
    ferent
    persont hantheEazi Ionceknew.TheEazi who
    haddr ive.MaybeIcan’ tadvisey oubecauseI
    fai
    ledmyownmar riagebutdon’ tbel ikeme.I
    wasi nsuchahur r
    yt ogetmar ri
    edandInev er
    satmy sel
    fdownandt r i
    edt olooki ntomy
    decisions.Imadesev er almistakes, Idon’ twant
    yout odot hesame.Go, heisl osinghi s
    patience.”
    Iswall
    owedandst
    eppedoutt
    henwal
    kedwi
    th
    himinsi
    dethemal
    l
    .
    “
    Whatdoy
    ouwantt
    oeat
    ?”
    “
    Any
    thi
    ngi
    sfi
    ne.
    ”
    “Whyshoul
    dyoubefinewit
    hanythi
    ngwhenyou
    canmakeachoiceofwhatexact
    lyyouwant
    ?I
    cangeti
    tfory
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Iwantpai
    nki
    l
    ler
    s.Mybut
    thur
    ts.
    ”
    “
    Ok.Come.
    ”
    Hetookherhandandl
    edhertot
    hephar
    macy
    .
    Herphonerangi
    nherhands.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Eazi
    ,themagadi
    negot
    iat
    ionscont
    inued.
    ”
    Abel
    ookedatme.“
    Wit
    houtme?
    ”
    “Whatwer
    ewesupposedt
    odoaf
    tery
    our
    an
    off
    ?”
    “
    Wai
    tedf
    ormeoraskedme.
    ”
    “Peopl
    ehadalr
    eadygat
    her
    ed.Moemedi
    is
    comingtogetyou.
    ”
    Ihungupav
    oidi
    nghi
    sey
    es.
    “
    Whatdi
    dshesay
    ?”
    “
    Shei
    sshout
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    come…”
    Wewentinsidet
    hephar
    macyt
    henhe
    pur
    chasedthepai
    nki
    l
    ler
    s.
    “
    Whatdoy
    ouwantt
    oeat
    ?”
    “
    Ihav
    enev
    ereat
    enany
    thi
    ngf
    rom St
    eer
    s.”
    Abesmil
    ed.“Ok,
    Steer
    siti
    s.Iam sor
    ryIwas
    l
    it
    tl
    erough.
    ”
    “I
    t’
    sunhygienict
    odowhaty ouwer edoi
    ng,it
    ’s
    nothealt
    h.Imaynotbewel l educat
    edinthat
    butIknowt hati
    nfect
    ionscanbepassed.”
    “Iknow,
    Ishoul
    dn’
    thavedonet
    hat.I
    twon’t
    happenagai
    n.Wewill
    seeadoctorbef
    orewe
    go.”
    Wewalkedi
    nsi
    deSt
    eersthenheor
    deredour
    meal
    s.Hegott
    hem dr
    inksandwal
    kedoutwit
    h
    me.
    “
    Doy
    ouwantany
    thi
    ngel
    se?
    ”
    “
    Iam f
    ine.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Theywalkedbacktot
    hecar
    ,Ont
    lamet
    sismi
    l
    ed
    gett
    inghermeal.
    “
    ThankGod!Iwasdy
    ing.
    ”
    Il
    ookedoveratMalcol
    m whowassl
    eepi
    ngt
    hen
    shookhi
    m wakinghim up.
    “
    Mal
    cwakeup…”
    Malcolm sl
    owl
    ywokeupt henhi
    seyeswi
    dened
    ashelookedaround.Hesmil
    edseei
    ngAbeand
    rel
    axed.
    “
    Mamaar
    ewegoi
    ngwi
    thuncl
    eAbe?
    ”
    “
    Doy
    ouwantt
    opee?
    ”
    Henoddedt henAbesteppedoutandt
    ookhim
    f
    rom backseat.Iwat
    chedthem wal
    kaway.
    “Mamasaidtheywentaheadwi
    tht
    he
    negot
    iat
    ions.
    ”
    “
    Iny
    ourabsence?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Idon’tknowwhyy ourmot herkeepsdoingthi
    s
    butmay beit’
    sbecausey ouneverstandupf or
    yourself
    .Ireal
    lydon’tknowanymor eEazi.
    Malcolm seemst oloveAbe.”
    “
    Hei
    sseeshi
    m ashi
    sfr
    iend.
    ”
    Ont
    lametsi
    tookoutherbur
    ger
    .“Wheny
    our
    mancomesback,tel
    lhimtodr
    opmeoffatt
    he
    bar
    rak.
    ”

    *
    **

    I
    nGabor
    one,Linal
    ayonthebedandsmi
    l
    edas
    t
    hedoct
    orwalkedover
    .
    “Morni
    ngMr .andMr s.Tafi
    ra.Iam sor
    ryIwas
    runni
    ngabitlate.Wecanst art
    ,Iam goingtodo
    anultr
    asoundtoseei freal
    l
    yy ouarepregnant
    .
    Sometimesthepr egnancytesti
    ngsti
    cksaren’
    t
    al
    way
    scor
    rect
    .”
    Tendaihel
    dLina’
    shandthenthedoct
    orstar
    ted
    witht
    heultr
    asound.Shel
    ookedatthescr
    een
    forawhil
    eandsmi l
    ed.
    “Ok,Iseei
    t.There…”Theybot
    hlookedatthe
    screenandlookedwhereshewaspointi
    ng.
    “
    It
    ’sj
    ustabloodclotf
    ornowbutsooni
    twi
    l
    lbe
    ababy.Congr
    atul
    ati
    ons!
    ”
    Li
    nasmiledputt
    ingherhandsonherf
    ace.“
    I
    can’
    tbel
    i
    ev eIam pr
    egnant.
    ”
    “Met
    oo,Iwantt
    orunacouplemor
    etest
    st henI
    canr
    ecommendsomesupplement
    sforyou.”
    Tendai
    huggedhiswi
    fe.“
    Thanky
    ou.Thanky
    ou
    somuchbabe.”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    Hi
    sphonerangfrom hi
    spockett
    henhe
    st
    eppedoutansweri
    ng.
    “
    Yes?
    ”
    “
    Tendai
    Iam pr
    egnant
    .”
    Hef
    rownedl
    i
    steni
    ngt
    oMapul
    a.“
    What
    ?”
    “
    Iam pr
    egnant
    .”
    “
    Youneedt
    oabort,
    mywi f
    eandIhav
    edeci
    ded
    t
    osor
    toutourpr
    oblems.
    ”
    “
    Iam notabor
    ti
    ngmybaby
    .”
    “
    AndIam notl
    osi
    ngmywi
    fet
    othi
    snonsense.
    ”
    “Youdi
    dn’
    tthi
    nkaboutal
    lthatwheny
    ouwer
    e
    ontopofme?”
    Tendaihungupandwalkedbackinsi
    det
    he
    room f
    indi
    ngLinaget
    ti
    ngoffthebed.
    “
    Whower
    eyout
    alki
    ngt
    o?”
    “
    Abe.
    ”
    Shesuspi
    ciousl
    ylookedathi
    m.“
    Arey
    oust
    il
    l
    seei
    ngher?”
    “
    Ilongbr
    okeupwi
    thher
    .Ther
    ewon’
    tbeany
    one
    i
    nthepi
    ctur
    e.Il
    ovey
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Ihopeso,
    Idon’
    twanty
    oubr
    ingi
    ngdi
    seasest
    o
    me.
    ”
    “Tr
    ustme, Iam done.
    ”Heki
    ssedhersof
    tl
    y.“
    I
    wil
    ldr
    opy ouoffathome.Ineedt
    oseemy
    par
    ents.
    ”
    Shedressedt
    hentheywal
    kedout
    .Mi
    nut
    esl
    ater
    hedroppedherhome.
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lbebackj
    ustnow.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    HereversedanddroveoffheadedtoMapul
    a’
    s
    house.Awhilel
    aterhewasst eppi
    ngout
    .She
    smil
    edashewal kedinsi
    dethehouse.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Youaregoi
    ngt
    oabor
    tthatt
    hingandt
    hat
    ’s
    t
    hat
    .”
    Hegr
    abbedherhandandpul
    l
    edherout
    .
    *
    **

    Lebothacriedsil
    entl
    yasKabelogav eherthe
    l
    aststrokesandgotof fher
    .Hewal kedout
    wipi
    nghi mselfthenshecover
    edher selfcr
    ying.
    Shewasn’ tsurehowlongshecouldt akeitfor
    butshecoul dn’
    tanymore.Reawalkedi nand
    l
    ookedatherangr i
    l
    y.
    “Iam comingbackf
    rom wor
    kandt
    hehousei
    s
    sti
    ll
    asi twas?
    ”
    “
    Iwantt
    ogot
    oschool
    !”
    “
    Whatschool
    ?Youarest
    upi
    d,noschoolwil
    l
    t
    akeyou,
    Youthinkwi
    thy
    ourD’SandE’syou
    wi
    ll
    goanywhere?”
    “Iam t
    ir
    edofbei
    ngasl
    ave,
    Iwantt
    ogobackt
    o
    Granny.
    ”
    “
    Thenwhatar
    eyouwai
    ti
    ngf
    or?Go!
    ”
    “
    Ihat
    eyou!
    ”
    Reawal kedov erandslappedheracr
    osst he
    face.Lebotha’sangershootupasshel ookedat
    thewomanshecal l
    edmot her,
    thewomanwho
    hadbeenwat chinghergetrappedever
    ysingle
    daywi t
    hakni feonherneck.
    “Youareuseless,
    youareherei
    nsul
    ti
    ngme
    pret
    endingyoudon’tl
    ovemyhusband.Youar
    e
    awhore!Andy ouwill
    alway
    sbeone.”
    Lebot haangr i
    lypickedupt hekni feKabel ohad
    l
    ef tonthef loorandst abbedher .Reascr eamed
    fall
    ingtot hefloorthenLebot hacount lessly
    stabbedherchesty el
    l
    ingwi t
    hherbugbody
    over poweringhermot her.Shest oppedasa
    feelingofsat i
    sfacti
    onov erwhel medherwhi l
    e
    shest aredathermot hercov er edwi t
    hbl ood.
    Herangerhadherget tingupandmar chingto
    hermot her’
    sbedr oom.Shewal kedi nand
    l
    ookedatKabel osleepingf acingup.
    Thiswast hemanwhof oundjoyi nviolati
    ngher,
    tearsfi
    ll
    edherey esasshewal kedov erand
    plungedtheknifedeepi nhischest .Kabelo
    gaspedwaki ngupt henLebothapul l
    edoutt he
    knifeandstabbedhi m evenhar deranddeeper
    thanbefore.Itwasasi fshewaspossessed
    andshecoul dn’tseem tostopher self.Each
    stabbroughtgreatjoytoher .
    Herchestheavedasshepul l
    edouttheknife
    andbeganstabbinghi m asi fshewaspl ay
    inga
    gameonl yi
    twasn’t.Shel ookedathiml ayi
    ng
    unconsci
    ous,bloodalloverherandt hebed
    thenpull
    eddownhi spant sandcutof fhisdick
    asshewascut ti
    ngof fachi cken’
    shead.
    ThedooropenedandKabel o’
    soldestchild
    walkedinwit
    hherschool back.Shescr eamed
    stari
    ngatLebot
    hawhol ookedather ,hereyes
    cold.Shet
    ri
    edrunni
    ngof fbutLebot hagotof f
    bedandgrabbedherbefor eshecoul dgetfar.
    *
    **

    Moemedi
    smi
    l
    edwi
    thhi
    sfat
    her
    .
    “Todayyouhaveprov
    entobear eal
    manandI
    am proudofyou,
    IhopeMalcol
    mi sdoi
    ngwel
    l
    .”
    “Ij
    ustspoketoEazi
    ,shesai
    dhei
    sfeel
    i
    ng
    bett
    ernow.”
    “
    That
    ’sgood.Iwi
    l
    lseey
    ou.
    ”
    Moemeditookhi
    sphoneandcall
    edEazi
    but
    shedi
    dn’
    tanswerherphone.Hecal
    l
    edThat
    o.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “CanIsuesomeonef
    orsl
    eepi
    ngwi
    thmywi
    fe
    eveni
    fIam aman?”
    “Yes,It
    hinkaslongasyouar
    emar
    ri
    edy
    oucan
    sue,whowant stosuey
    ou?”
    “
    Eazi
    ishav
    inganaf
    fai
    r.
    ”
    “
    ButEazi
    isnoty
    ourwi
    fe.
    ”
    “Sheis,wegotmar r
    iedtwoweeksago.Atthe
    commi ssi
    oner’
    soffi
    ce.Sher
    anof fwit
    hthat
    foot
    ballpl
    ayertaki
    ngmysonwi th.Iwantt
    osue
    him.”
    “Iam sur
    eyoucanbutthatguyi
    sri
    chsohewi
    l
    l
    payyouthenst
    il
    ltakeher.
    ”
    “100kcandoal
    otf
    orme.Icanbui
    l
    dmy
    house.
    ”
    “
    Youmi
    ghtl
    oseEazi
    .”
    “Iwon’t
    .Di
    vor
    cestakel
    ongt
    ime.Theycango
    overtwoyear
    s.”
    “Thesedaysitwil
    lgoforl
    essthanthat
    .This
    guyisri
    ch,thatguypl
    aysforLyonandhegets
    paidweekly.Hemakeslotofmoney,hewill
    giveyouthatP100kandsti
    llt
    akeyourgir
    l.
    ”
    “
    Eazii
    snotgoi
    ngt
    oleav
    eme,
    Iknowshe
    won’
    t.
    ”
    “
    Don’
    tbet
    oosur
    e.Any
    way
    stheChi
    nesesai
    d
    hei
    ssoongoi
    ngt
    opayus.
    ”
    Moemedi
    smi
    l
    ed.“
    Iwantt
    obuyasmal
    lcar
    .”
    “
    Iwantt
    oopenabusi
    ness.
    ”
    “
    Iwil
    lusemycarasat
    axi
    butf
    ir
    staf
    terIenj
    oy
    i
    t.
    ”
    Thatol
    aughed.“
    Wewi
    l
    ltal
    kwheny
    oucome
    back.
    ”
    Moemedi hungupandsmi ledt
    hinkingof
    getti
    ngmaybeaVi t
    sforthemeant i
    meand
    probabl
    yamuchbi ggercaraft
    erget t
    ingthe
    P100kfrom t
    hefootbal
    ler
    .Hissmi l
    egr eweven
    widerashethoughtofall
    hisplans.

    *
    **

    Lebothasatonthefl
    oornakedasthepoli
    ce
    walkedin,
    theenti
    rehousewascov er
    edwith
    bl
    ood.Thepoliceoff
    icer
    slookedathert
    hen
    wenttothebedr
    oom andlookedatt
    hebl
    oodall
    over.Oneoft
    hepol
    iceoff
    icerswal
    kedov
    erto
    her.
    “
    Hi,
    mynamei
    sconst
    abl
    e-“
    “
    Goandhangme,
    Iki
    l
    ledal
    loft
    hem.
    ”
    Thepoli
    ceoffi
    cerl
    ookedinhereyesunabl
    eto
    notseethepai
    nthatref
    lect
    edbackather.
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyourcl
    othes?
    ”
    Lebothapoi ntedatherroom thent hefemale
    poli
    ceof f
    icerwalkedinherbedr oom and
    l
    ookedatt heotherbodyinapool ofblood.At
    theothercor nerwasasmal lgir
    l sl
    aughtered.
    Herintesti
    nesheav edtheshev omi tedri
    ghton
    thefl
    oor.Anot herpol
    iceoff
    icerwal kedinand
    l
    ookedatt hemess.
    “
    Hol
    yshit
    !Sheki
    ll
    edthem al
    lal
    onet
    hencal
    l
    ed
    t
    hepol
    i
    cehersel
    f?”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #14

    Abedr oppedoffOntl
    ametsit
    henshehugged
    meandwal kedinsi
    dethecamp.Abedroveoff
    tur
    ninguphi smusicandplay
    edMr .
    Eazi
    ’shit
    s
    givi
    ngmeasi desmilest
    oppi
    ngthecaratthe
    redtraff
    icl
    ight
    “
    Soy
    ouar
    ecomi
    ngwi
    thme?
    ”
    Il
    ookedathi
    m.“
    Youki
    dnapped.
    ”
    Abesmiledstar
    ingatmeandlookedat
    Malcol
    m whowaspl ayi
    nggamesonAbe’s
    bef
    oreturni
    ngbacktomeandgi vi
    ngmea
    qui
    ckkiss.
    “
    Youl
    ookbeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    “
    Thi
    sdr
    essi
    sol
    d.”
    Hetookoff.“
    Nott hedr
    ess,
    you.Youl
    ook
    beaut
    if
    ul.Imissedyou.
    ”
    “
    Whendi
    dyoubr
    eakupwi
    thy
    ourex?
    ”
    “Aweekbef
    oreIcameback,t
    herel
    ati
    onship
    wasonandoffforawhi
    lebutweoff
    ici
    all
    y
    endedaweekbefor
    eIcame.”
    “
    Why
    ?”
    “Besidesthefactthati
    twasn’tworki
    ngandwe
    werej usttoxi
    cforeachot
    her,eit
    herway ,
    she
    couldn’thandlet
    helongdist
    ancer el
    ati
    onshi
    p.”
    “
    Wher
    ewer
    eyoubef
    orey
    oucameher
    e?”
    “
    France.
    ”
    “
    Whatwer
    eyoudoi
    ngt
    her
    e?”
    “
    Iwasf
    oot
    bal
    lpl
    ayer
    .”
    “
    Youar
    enotany
    mor
    e?”
    Helookedatmeandsmi l
    ed.“Ihav
    eal
    egi
    njur
    y.
    Ican’
    tplay
    .Atl
    eastnotnow.”
    “
    Sonowwhatdoy
    oudof
    oral
    i
    ving?
    ”
    “
    Iwantt ostartabusiness.Idon’
    twanttowork
    f
    oranyone, Ineverworkedforanyonebefor
    e.”
    Heexplainedhisbusinessidea.“
    Iam st
    il
    l
    t
    hinki
    ngabouti tbutthat’
    sintheli
    neofwhatI
    wanttodo. ”
    “
    That’
    sabr i
    l
    li
    anti
    dea.Inev
    erthought
    f
    ootbal
    ler
    sactual
    l
    yhavedegrees.
    ”
    Hechuckl ed.“Babemyf at
    herisaMot swanaby
    cit
    izenbutor i
    ginall
    yheisZimbabwean, hei
    sso
    str
    ictli
    kethat.Hel i
    kesstr
    aightt
    hings.Iwentt
    o
    football
    afterIwasdonewi thmydegr ee,he
    saidinthef ut
    ureIwouldalwayshav e
    somet hi
    ngt ofallbackonandhewasr i
    ght.
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Yourmom i
    ssof
    t.
    ”
    “
    Yes,shel
    ikesyou.Shethi
    nksy
    ouwoul
    dmake
    agr
    eatdaughteri
    n-l
    aw.”
    “
    Wouldy
    ougobackt
    oFr
    anceoncey
    ourl
    egi
    s
    f
    ine?
    ”
    “
    Wantt
    ocomewi
    thmeandnev
    erl
    ookback?
    ”
    Il
    aughedandlookedoutthroughthewi ndow
    whil
    ehedroveheadedt oGaborone.Itookoff
    myshoesandr elaxedmytoesadjusti
    ngmy
    seatabi
    treachingformydrnk.
    Hetappedforthenextsongandsteppedonthe
    accel
    erat
    orwhileweli
    stenedtoLewisCapal
    di-
    Holdmewhi l
    ey ouwait
    .

    *
    **

    Atthepr
    ivat
    ecl
    ini
    c,t
    heIndi
    andoct
    orst
    epped
    outandl
    ookedatTendai
    .
    “
    It
    ’sdone.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou,
    Ial
    readypai
    d.”
    “
    Good.Shei
    scomi
    ngbutsheneedst
    orest
    .”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Mapulawal
    kedoutwit
    htear
    yeyesandwal
    ked
    pasthi
    m.Tendai
    fol
    lowedbehi
    nd.
    “
    Mapul
    a-“
    “
    Stayawayf
    rom me!Youki
    l
    ledmybaby
    .”
    Tendaigr
    abbedherhandandsqueezedher
    wri
    ts.“
    Whoar ey
    out al
    ki
    ngtol
    ikethat?
    ”
    “Getyourhandsoffme.I
    twasnev eryour
    pregnancyeit
    herwaysofuckyou.Youare
    i
    nferti
    le,
    youcan’tgi
    vemeachild.Theprobl
    em
    i
    sy ou,notyourwif
    eandsoonshewi l
    lfi
    nd
    someonet odothejobsi
    nceyoucan’t.
    ”
    Tendaitri
    eddraggi
    nghertothebutshe
    screamedcalli
    ngforat
    tent
    ion.“Tr
    yit!Tryi
    t!
    Inf
    erti
    l
    eman!Youar enotar eal
    manbecause
    youcan’tgiv
    eawomanonesi mplething.I
    fyou
    putyourhandsonmeIam r eporti
    ngy outothe
    poli
    ce,matt
    eroffact
    ,Iam goi
    ngtogeta
    rest
    rai
    ningorderonyou.Youar
    eful
    lofshi
    t.
    ”
    Tendai breathedheav il
    yandwat chedherwal k
    away .Hegoti nhiscaranddr oveof fwit
    ha
    dif
    ferentdirectiontoherhouse.Awhi lelat
    erhe
    parkedatherbacky ardthenst eppedoutwi t
    h
    thespar ekey s.Hegoti nherhouseandwai ted,
    minutesl at
    ershewal kedinandl ockedherdoor .
    Tendai walkedf rom herbedroom.
    “
    Saywhaty
    ouwer
    esay
    ingnow.
    ”

    *
    **

    Lebothasati
    ntheinter
    rogati
    onatthepol
    ice
    star
    ingatnot
    hing.Thedetect
    ivewalkedi
    nand
    l
    ookedather.
    “
    Ok,
    hiLebot
    ha.Whathappened?
    ”
    “
    Iki
    l
    ledt
    hem.
    ”
    “
    Why
    .”
    “Hewasrapi
    ngmeandshedi dnothi
    ng,
    she
    mademehi swife.St
    oppedmefr
    om goi
    ngto
    school
    .Shethr
    eatenedmeandcal
    ledme
    names.”
    “
    Howl
    onghast
    her
    apebeengoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “
    Thr
    eemont
    hs.
    ”
    “
    Youhav
    eal
    way
    sst
    ayedwi
    thher
    ?”
    “
    Mygr
    andmot
    her
    .”
    Thedetecti
    vesighed.“Lebothayouaref
    acing
    al
    mostl i
    feinjai
    lformurder.Butsi
    nceyouar ea
    minor,y
    ouar egoingtobesentt oj
    uveni
    le.
    That’
    siftheydon’tdi
    agnosey ouasment al
    l
    y
    unfi
    t.
    ”
    “
    Ijustwantt
    odi
    e.”
    Thedetect
    ivesighedsadly,t
    hegi
    rlwasol
    d
    enoughtobeherdaught erandwhatev
    ershe
    hadgonethroughwast oomuch.Shewalked
    outandmetoneoft
    hepol
    i
    ceof
    fi
    cer
    s.
    “
    Whatdi
    dshesay
    ?”
    “Sheadmi tt
    edtoit
    .Iwantherexamined.Idon’
    t
    thi
    nkshewasment all
    yfi
    twhenshekill
    edher
    mother,stepfat
    herandhisstepfat
    her’
    s
    daughter.Iwantherhi
    stor
    y.”
    “
    Yessi
    r.
    ”

    Meanwhi l
    eLebot ha’seyesf i
    ll
    edwi thtearsas
    shelookedatt heceili
    ng.Nowt hatthepeople
    thathadtort
    uredherwer egone, shest i
    ll
    fel
    tthe
    painshehadt empor ari
    lyforgotten.Tears
    droppeddownonhercheeksasshe
    remember edhergr andmot her.

    *
    **

    Lonaspacedupanddownherbedr
    oom cal
    l
    ing
    Tendaibuthisphonecont i
    nuedringi
    ng
    unanswered.Sheputdownherphoneand
    l
    ookedatt heabort
    ionpill
    s.Keeyawasst i
    l
    l
    wait
    ingforhercallbutshecouldn’tj
    ustl
    eave,
    notwhil
    epr egnant
    .Herphoner angthenshe
    answered.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Youneedtogobackhome,
    yourmot
    heri
    s
    wor
    ri
    edsick.
    ”
    “
    Youdon’
    tgett
    otel
    lmewhatt
    odoLi
    na.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyoust
    ayi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Noty
    ourbusi
    ness.
    ”
    “
    Iam t
    ryi
    ngt
    ohel
    pyou.
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tneedy
    ourhel
    p.”
    Li
    nasighed.“
    Ok,
    yourcall
    thenbutknowy
    our
    motheri
    sgoingt
    odiefrom st
    ress.
    ”
    Lonashungupcl
    i
    ckinghertonguethenrubbed
    herst
    omach.Maybeshedidn’tneedtoabort
    ,
    shet
    ookadeepbr
    eat
    handcal
    l
    edKeey
    a.
    “
    Lonas…”
    “
    Heylove,
    unfort
    unatel
    yIcan’
    tcomewi
    thbut
    t
    hankyouforconsi
    deri
    ngme.”
    “
    Oh,
    ok.
    .by
    e.”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Shehungupandsmi led, shewoul dhumbl eLina.
    Shepr obablythoughtshewasal lt
    hatgoing
    aroundt reat
    ingpeoplel iket r
    ash.Sher eached
    forherphoneandcal ledTendai whodidn’tpi
    ck,
    shepi ckedtheabor ti
    onpi l
    ls,wenttothe
    bathroom andf lushedt hem t henwalkedoutof
    thehousewi thherbag.Tendai cal
    ledherback.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Iam goi
    ngt
    othehospi
    tal
    .”
    “Wai
    t,wewi
    l
    lgot
    omydoct
    or.Ar
    eyouf
    eel
    i
    ng
    si
    ck?
    ”
    “
    Ijustwantt
    ochecki
    freal
    l
    yIam pr
    egnant
    .”
    “
    Wai
    tforme,
    Iam comi
    ngt
    opi
    cky
    ouup.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Shehungupwithasmil
    eandgotbacki
    nsi
    de
    thehousewai
    ti
    ngforhi
    m.

    *
    **

    MapulalookedatTendaiashedressedupwi t
    h
    tear
    sinhereyesbutshewouldn’
    tletthem f
    all
    ,
    notaft
    erhowhet hr
    eatenedher
    .
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lseey
    oul
    ater
    .”
    “
    Yousaidy
    ouwanttofi
    xt hi
    ngswithy
    ourwi
    fe,
    t
    hat
    ’sf
    inewit
    hme,Iwon’tbothery
    ouanymore.
    ”
    Tendail
    ookedather
    .“Youdon’
    thav
    emanner
    s,
    Iwil
    lonl
    ystoponceIputyoui
    nli
    ne.
    ”
    Hewal
    kedoutwit
    hhiscarkeys,
    Mapul
    abroke
    downl
    i
    steni
    ngtohiscarashedrov
    eof
    f.She
    r
    eachedf
    orherphoneandcal
    l
    edherf
    ri
    end.
    “
    Whatdi
    dhesay
    ?”
    “
    Hef
    orcedmet
    oabor
    t.
    ”
    “
    Iam sorr
    yfri
    end,
    may beit
    ’sf
    orthebest
    .He
    wasgoingtofi
    ndoutthathewasn’
    tthef
    ather
    whenyougavebir
    th.
    ”
    “
    Iwoul
    dhav
    esuppor
    tedmybaby
    .Idi
    dn’
    twant
    t
    oabor
    tMamiki
    .”
    “Theny
    oushouldhav
    enev
    ert
    houghtoft
    ell
    i
    ng
    himint
    hefi
    rstpl
    ace.
    ”
    “
    Herapedmeandbeatme.Mycheekshur
    tand
    mypussyi
    ssor
    e.”
    “
    Why
    ?”
    “
    Ical
    l
    edhi
    minf
    ert
    il
    e.”
    “
    Whatdi
    dyouexpect
    ?”
    “Hei
    sinfert
    il
    e,Iknowhei
    s.Ihadsexwi
    ththis
    guycountl
    esstimesandy
    etnothi
    nghappened.
    Oner oundwit
    hadi ff
    erentpersonthenIam
    pregnant.Hehasbeenwi thhiswifefortwo
    yearsandnochild.Hesay ssheistheproblem
    buttrustsme,t
    hewi f
    ei sfi
    ne,heisinfer
    ti
    le.
    ”
    Mamikil
    aughed.“
    Theywi
    l
    lmakehi
    mrai
    se
    peopl
    e’
    skids.
    ”
    “
    Iwantt
    orepor
    thi
    mforr
    apeandassaul
    t.
    ”
    “
    Mapul
    a!”
    “Iam r
    eporti
    nghim,hethinksIam hi
    swi
    febutI
    am not.Iam r
    eport
    inghim.Hei sgoi
    ngt
    oroti
    n
    j
    ail.
    ”
    “
    Rapechar
    gesar
    eser
    iousMapul
    a.”
    “Idon’
    tcar
    e.Af
    termakingmeabor
    the
    deserv
    esit
    .Iwi
    llcal
    lyou.
    ”
    Shehungupanddr essedthem wal kedoutwi
    th
    herswoll
    enface.Shestoppedat axipassi
    ngby
    herhouseandgotin.Minuteslat
    ershewas
    walki
    nginsi
    dethepoli
    cest at
    ion.
    *
    **

    AtLonas’
    shouse,
    Tendaist
    eppedoutofa
    unf
    amili
    arcarwhi
    leLonaswal
    kedover.
    “
    Who’
    scari
    sthi
    s?”
    “
    Your
    s.”
    Lonasr
    oll
    edherey
    es.“
    Beser
    ious?
    ”
    “Iam t
    ell
    ingyou.”Hetookoutthecar
    regi
    str
    ati
    ondocument sandhandedt hem t
    oher
    .
    Lonasreadthroughslowlyandputherhand
    overhermoutht ear
    ful
    ly
    .
    “
    Tendai
    ….”
    “
    Ican’
    thav
    eyouwal
    ki
    ngwi t
    hmydaughter
    .
    Nowyouneedt
    ogetal
    icenseanddr
    ivei
    t.
    ”
    Shehuggedhi
    mti
    ght
    lycr
    ying.
    *
    **

    Latert
    hatday ,
    Moemedi settl
    edinthe5p.m
    busholdi
    nghi scoolti
    me.Het ookouthi
    st i
    ny
    phoneandst art
    edplayi
    ngsnakesuckinghis
    coolti
    mewhi lethebusmov ed.Thepassenger
    seati
    ngbesidehim answeredhisphoneand
    spokesoft
    lyont hephone.
    “Hell
    o? .
    ..Iknow,i
    tworks.Idi
    di tbef
    ore.Atfi
    rst
    Ithoughti twasascam soIgav ethatmanonl y
    600t henhegav eittomeaf t
    eraweek, itwas
    P1200.Thenextt imeIgav ehim myentire
    salar
    yandhedoubl edi
    t…y oushouldtryit
    …ok…
    bye.”
    Themanhungupwhi
    l
    eMoemedi paused
    pl
    ayi
    nghi
    sgame.Hethenl
    ookedattheman.
    “Iam sor
    ryt
    obothery
    ou,
    buty
    ousai
    dthi
    sman
    double’
    smoney
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Real
    l
    y?”
    Themansmi l
    ed.“
    Yes,al
    otofpeopl
    esti
    l
    lcan’t
    beli
    eveitbuthedoubl
    esmoneyandIam li
    vi
    ng
    proof.Igav
    ehim myenti
    resal
    arywhi
    chwas
    P6500andhegav eitt
    omeaf t
    eraweekas
    P13000.”
    “
    Ial
    sowantt
    otr
    yit
    .”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    ljustgi
    vey
    ouy
    ournumber
    .”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”

    *
    **

    Intheeveni
    ng,AtGabrone,
    aft
    erhoursof
    dri
    vingAbedrovei
    nsideayardthenpar
    kedhi
    s
    carinthegar
    age.
    “
    Eazi
    …Babewakeup!
    ”
    Isl
    owl
    yopenedmyey
    esashest
    eppedoutof
    t
    hecar
    .Heopenedt
    hedoorf
    ormeandhel
    ped
    meoutt
    henki
    ssedme.
    “
    Wehav
    ear
    ri
    ved.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    ltakeMal
    c…”
    “Iwil
    ltakehi m.Goandunl ock.
    ”Hehandedme
    hiskeyst henIwal kedtothedoorandunl ocked
    i
    twhi l
    ehepi ckedMal col
    mf rom thebackand
    walkedi nsi
    dewi thhim.Het ookhi mtothe
    guestroom andt uckedhimi nthenjoi
    nedmei n
    thesit
    tingr oom.
    “
    Thi
    sismyhouse,
    doy
    oul
    i
    kei
    t?”
    Ichuckl
    ed.“
    It’
    sbeaut
    if
    ul,
    bet
    tert
    hanany
    thi
    ngI
    haveeverl
    iv
    edi n.
    ”
    “
    Come,
    let
    ’sbat
    h.Shoul
    dwegetf
    ood?
    ”
    “
    No,
    unl
    essy
    ouar
    ehungr
    y.”
    “
    Iam good.Come.
    ”
    Hetookherhandandl
    edhert
    ohisbedr
    oom.I
    l
    ookedathisni
    cel
    ymadebed,ev
    ery
    thi
    ngwasi
    n
    pl
    ace.Hepul
    l
    edouthi
    st-
    shi
    rtt
    henki
    ssedher
    .
    “
    Shoul
    dIcal
    lmylawyertomorrowandt
    ell
    him
    y
    ouwanttol
    eav
    ey ourhusband?”
    Il
    ookedinhiseyeswithapoundinghear
    tthen
    nodded.Abesmiledandtookoffmydress.He
    pul
    leddownmypant iesandpushedmei nsi
    de
    ki
    ssingme,hishandsallov
    erme.
    .
    Awhilel
    aterwewalkedoutofthebathr
    oom
    aft
    erasteamysessi
    on.Hisphonerangfrom
    thebedthenheansweredi
    twhileon
    l
    oudspeaker.
    “
    Yeah?
    ”
    “
    Abe,i
    t’
    sme.Tendaihasjustbeenarr
    estedfor
    r
    apeandassaul
    t.Hi
    ssidechickrepor
    tedhim.”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “Hesai
    dIshoul
    dtel
    lyou,y
    ouwi l
    lknowwhatt
    o
    do.Iam onmywaytoyourhouse,hesai
    dyou
    musthav
    ear
    ri
    ved.
    ”
    “
    Iam home.Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lsomeone.
    ”
    Hehungupt henAbequickl
    yputsome
    sweatpantscall
    ingthel
    awyer.Heki
    ssedme
    l
    isteni
    ngtowhat evert
    helawyerwassayi
    ngon
    theotherhand.
    “
    Ok,
    wewi
    l
    lmeett
    her
    e,by
    e.”
    Hehungupandl ookedatme.“
    Ihav
    etogo.My
    br
    otherhasbeenarrest
    ed.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok,
    butwhatabouty
    oursi
    steri
    nin-
    law?
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    ltal
    ktoher
    ,shei
    snotsl
    eepi
    ngher
    e.”
    Heputonhist-shi
    rtt
    henhisphonerangagain.
    Heignoredi
    tputti
    ngonhist-
    shir
    tthenwalked
    outwhil
    eIsatonthebed.

    *
    **
    Outsi
    de,
    Linast
    eppedoutofhercarcr
    yingt
    hen
    huggedAbe.
    “
    Theyt
    ookhi
    m.”
    “
    Wewi
    l
    lgethi
    m out
    .”
    “
    Iam scar
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Itwi
    l
    lbeal
    ri
    ght
    .”
    Li
    nalookedathi
    m.“
    CanIsleepher
    etonight
    .I
    am scar
    edofgoi
    ngbackhomeandsleeping
    al
    one.”
    “
    Yeahsure,butEazi
    isi
    nsoy
    ouwi
    l
    lsl
    eepon
    t
    hecouch.”
    “
    Oh-ok.
    ”
    Her ushedbackinsi
    det hehousewhil
    eshe
    slowlyfol
    lowedbehind.Shesatint
    hesit
    ting
    room, minut
    espassedt henhefi
    nal
    lywalked
    outwi t
    hjustaduvet
    .
    “
    Ther
    e,Iwi
    l
    lbebackjustnow.Eaziist
    he
    womanoft
    hishouseandyouwillnot
    disrespectheri
    nherownspacemaki
    ngherf
    eel
    unwel come,sheismywomanandsherul
    es
    thishouse.”
    “
    Ok.Iunder
    stand.
    ”
    Hewalkedoutanddroveoff
    .Li
    nalayonthe
    couchformi
    nutest
    hinki
    ng.Herphoner
    ang.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi,
    it’
    sDr
    .Lapo.
    ”
    Shesatupr
    ight
    .“Yes?
    ”
    “Li
    na,youcan’tkeepl
    yi
    ng.Youneedtocome
    outintheopen.Ican’
    tgi
    veyouafakerepor
    t,I
    wil
    llosemylicense.
    ”
    “
    Isai
    dIwi
    l
    lpayy
    ou.
    ”
    “Idi
    dn’tl
    ietoyourhusbandformoney ,Idi
    dit
    becausey ouareafell
    owwomanl ikemeand
    youareindenialbutyouarenotpregnantLina
    andIwi l
    lnotsacri
    fi
    cemyjobf ory
    ou.”
    .
    .
    .
    Famil
    yIfell
    asleepwaitingforWifi
    toconnect
    tot
    helaptop,t
    hisislastnight'
    sbonus,
    our
    morni
    nginsertcomingat10. 30A.
    m.
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #15

    Onthesamenight,
    Abe’
    smotherl
    ookedather
    husbandunabl
    etobel
    i
    evewhathadjustcome
    outfr
    om hi
    smouth.
    “
    WhatdoyoumeanAbeshoul
    dhel
    phi
    m?That
    wi
    ll
    rui
    nthei
    rbr
    other
    hood.
    ”
    “AslongasTendai
    under
    standshi
    sy ounger
    brot
    herist
    ryi
    ngtohel
    phim,ever
    ythi
    ngwi l
    lbe
    fi
    ne.
    ”
    Sheshookherhead.“ Tendaiisnotl
    ikethat,
    you
    knowit.Iam notgoingtoletyourui
    nthe
    rel
    ati
    onshipmychildrenshare.AndIcan’t
    bel
    ieveLinaevenappr oachedAbe,whatkindof
    awomani sshe?”
    “
    Theonet
    ryi
    ngt
    osav
    ehermar
    ri
    age.
    ”
    “Bysleepi
    ngwi
    thherhusband’
    sbr
    otherbehi
    nd
    hisback?”
    “Sweethear
    t,shei
    sonl
    ydesper
    ate.Tendai
    is
    cheati
    ngandsoonhewill
    bri
    ngdiseasesto
    her.
    ”
    “Abewi l
    lnotsl
    eepwit
    hher.Ther
    eistechnology
    .
    Tendaishouldgottot
    hehospit
    alwit
    hheror
    may beheisnottheonewi
    thproblem andit
    ’s
    actual
    lyher.
    ”
    Takulookedathi
    swifeandsi
    ghed.Therewas
    noconvinci
    ngherwhenshegothotheaded
    aboutsomethi
    ng.
    “
    Ok.I
    t’
    sok.Youar
    eri
    ght
    .”
    “
    Iam.Let
    ’ssl
    eep.
    ”
    Hecuddl edherki
    ssi
    ngherneckandsighed
    wonderingwhatexactl
    yhehadt odoandhe
    thoughtofonesolut
    ionthatwasonceusedin
    hisfamil
    ylongbackwhenhewasst il
    laboybut
    couldheactuall
    ydoit?

    *
    **

    Att
    hepol
    i
    cest
    ati
    on,
    Abewal
    kedoutwi
    tht
    he
    l
    awyer
    .
    “
    Theonl
    ysol
    uti
    oni
    sifMapul
    aact
    ual
    l
    ydr
    ops
    t
    hechar
    ges.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    ltr
    yconv
    inci
    nghert
    omor
    row.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    justdoi
    tassoonasy
    oucan.
    ”
    “Bythewayther
    eissomethi
    ngIwantt
    o
    discusswi
    thyoutomor
    row.”
    “
    Ok,
    youwi
    l
    ltal
    ktome.
    ”
    Abegotinhiscaranddroveoff
    .Minut
    eslat
    er
    heparkedhi
    scarandgoti nt
    hehouse.Li
    na
    openedhereyesandlookedathim.
    “
    Whatdi
    dtheysay
    ?”
    “Theyar
    enotrel
    easinghim asy
    et,wewill
    hav
    e
    towaitf
    orhi
    sbailheari
    ngbutmay beIcan
    convi
    nceMapulatodropthecharges.
    ”
    “
    WhatifIsueher?Shehasbeensleepi
    ngwit
    h
    myhusbandandIhaveevidence.Wecanuse
    t
    hatagai
    nsther.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    butaf
    terIt
    ryt
    alki
    ngt
    oherni
    cel
    y.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Abelookedatherforawhil
    e.“Remembert he
    dayIgotdizzyandpassedoutatyourhouse?”
    Lina’
    shear
    tski
    ppedasshel
    ookedathi
    m.
    “Yes.
    ”
    “
    Whydi
    dyousendmessagest
    oEazi
    ?”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Whydi
    dyousendmessagest
    oEazi
    ?”
    “
    Idi
    dn’
    ttouchy
    ourphone.
    ”
    “
    Sot
    hosemessagessentt
    hemsel
    ves?
    ”
    Shestoodupandlookedathi
    mtear
    ful
    l
    y.“
    Iwas
    tr
    yingtohel
    pyou.
    ”
    “
    Didy oudrugme?BecauseIrememberf eel
    ing
    f
    inejustbefor
    eIcamet oyourhouse.Ist
    art
    ed
    f
    eeli
    ngdizzyafterdr
    inki
    ngyourj
    uice.
    ”
    “
    Abe,
    whywoul
    dIdr
    ugy
    ou?
    ”
    Helookedathersuspi
    ciousl
    y.“Somethi
    ng
    wasn’
    trightt
    hatday…Icouldfeeli
    t.
    ”
    “
    Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evet
    his…”
    “Li
    naIam notcr azy.Iknowsomethi
    ngwasn’
    t
    ri
    ghtwithmewhenIwokeup.Tendai sai
    dyou
    arepregnant.Howdi dyougetpr
    egnanti
    fhei
    s
    i
    nfert
    il
    e?ThatdaywhenIwokeup, Iwas
    sexuall
    yaroused.Inthemiddl
    eoftheday!
    Expl
    aint
    omehowy
    ouar
    epr
    egnant
    ?”
    Shelookedathim andbur
    stint
    otears.Abe
    watchedhercry
    ingnotmov edatal
    l.
    “Howdi dani
    nfer
    ti
    lemanmanaget
    ogety
    ou
    pregnant?
    ”
    “
    Ithoughthewasi
    nfer
    ti
    le,
    whatar
    eyout
    ryi
    ng
    t
    oaccusemeofAbe? ”
    “Whoisyourdoct
    or?Iwantt
    otal
    ktothat
    doct
    or.Whatdidyoudotomethatday?
    ”
    “
    Not
    hing.
    ”
    Abeangri
    l
    ywalkedovertoherj
    ustasIwal
    ked
    outi
    nhist-
    shi
    rtduet
    ot henoi
    se.Hetur
    nedand
    l
    ookedatme.
    “
    Linawasj
    ustl
    eav
    ing.
    ”
    Li
    naquickl
    ypi
    ckedherbagandr
    anout
    .Il
    ooked
    athi
    m withaf
    rown.
    “
    Whati
    sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “
    Not
    hingt
    owor
    ryabout
    .”
    “
    Buty
    ouseem angr
    y.”
    Abesi ghedl
    ocki
    ngthedoorandwalkedov
    er
    takingoffhi
    st-
    shi
    rt
    .“I
    t’
    snothi
    ng.Let’
    sgoand
    sleep.”
    “
    Youwer
    ear
    gui
    ng,
    whatdi
    dshedot
    oyou?
    ”
    “Eazi
    babe,canwesl
    eep?Idon’
    twantt
    otal
    k
    aboutit
    .”
    Ilookedi nhiseyesandnoddedt hem wal
    ked
    backi nsidethebedroom.Hespoonedme
    holdingmet i
    ghtl
    y,hi
    sdickgrewonmybut t
    thenhepul l
    editoutandsqueezedinpushi
    ng
    mybut tup.Iwhimperedhelpl
    esslywonder
    ingi
    f
    everhewasgoi ngtostop.

    *
    **

    Thef
    oll
    owi
    ngmor
    ning,
    Iwokeupear
    li
    erand
    cleanedtheenti
    rehousethenwashedallhis
    dirt
    yclothesandhungthem outsi
    de.Iswit
    ched
    onmyphonemaki ngbreakfasti
    nthekit
    chen
    thenlookedatthemessagef rom Moemedi.
    Moemedi:Iam cominghome, Ibett
    erf
    indy
    ou
    t
    herewithmychild.Don’
    tforgetyouar
    enow
    mywife.Wearelegall
    ymar r
    ied.
    Ii
    gnoredhi
    smessageandsmi
    l
    edat
    Ontl
    ametsi
    ’
    smessage.
    Ont
    la:Haveyouarr
    ivedinGaboroneyet
    ?Bythe
    way,i
    fyoudon’
    twantt hatf
    inemantheyar
    e
    goi
    ngtotakehim.Stopbeingdumb.
    Iputdownmyphoneandcont i
    nuedmaking
    breakfast
    .Malcol
    m peakedi
    nthekit
    chenthen
    smiledstari
    ngatme.
    “
    Mama,
    Ihav
    emyownr
    oom.
    ”
    “
    Wedon’tst
    ayhereMal
    c,wearejustv
    isi
    ti
    ng.
    Wewi
    ll
    lookforourownhouse.
    ”
    “
    Buti
    t’
    sbeaut
    if
    ulher
    e.”
    “
    Iti
    sbuti
    t’
    snotour
    s.”
    “OnedaywhenIgr
    owupIwantt
    obuyabi
    g
    housefory
    ou.
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Oksi
    r.Ican’
    twai
    tfory
    out
    ogr
    owup.
    ”
    Ipausedattheint
    ercom r
    ingi
    ngt
    henwal
    kedt
    o
    thebedroom andshookAbe.
    “
    Abe…wakeup.Ther
    eissomeone.
    ”
    Heputhi
    shandonmywai
    stpul
    l
    ingt
    obed.
    “
    Abe!Ther
    eissomeoneher
    e.”
    “
    Theycanwai
    t.
    ”
    Helookedatmeandkissedme.Mal
    col
    m
    openedthedoorandr
    anin.Hej
    umpedonAbe
    asIgotup.
    “
    Uncl
    eAbe,
    canwest
    aywi
    thy
    ou?
    ”
    “
    Yeah…buty
    ourmom canr
    efuse.
    ”
    Mal
    col
    mtur
    nedbackt
    ome.“
    Mommycanwe
    pl
    easest
    aywit
    huncleAbe.Iwil
    lnotmake
    noi
    seormakethehousedi
    rty
    .Iwil
    lbeagood
    boy.
    ”
    “
    Abet
    her
    eissomeoneatt
    hedoor
    .”
    “
    Answerhi
    mfi
    rst
    .”
    Iignor
    edhim andwalkedout.Hefol
    l
    owed
    secondsl
    aterwithMalcol
    m onhisshoul
    der
    s
    thenhepressedthegater
    emot e.
    “
    It
    ’smyf
    olks.
    ”
    Iswall
    owedhar
    d.“
    Mal
    col
    m andIwi
    l
    lseati
    n
    yourbedr
    oom.”
    “
    No.Iam notashamedofy ouormychamp.Si
    t
    t
    her
    e.Ei
    therway,theyal
    readyl
    ikey
    ou.”
    Myhear
    tpoundedevenmoreashi
    sparent
    s
    wal
    kedi
    n.Hismothersmi
    l
    edstari
    ngatme.
    “Oh!Eazi
    !Todayi
    smyl uckyday.
    ”Shewal
    ked
    overandhuggedme.“What ’
    ssmell
    i
    nggoodi
    n
    thekit
    chen,
    areyoucooking?”
    “
    Iwasmaki
    ngbr
    eakf
    ast
    .”
    Shelookedatmysonseat
    ingonAbe’
    s
    shoul
    ders.“
    Ishey
    ours?
    ”
    “
    Yesmama.
    ”
    Shesmackedmyshoulderl
    i
    ghtl
    y.“
    Don’
    tcal
    lme
    mam,youaremydaughteri
    n-l
    awnotmyworker
    .
    Hiboy
    ,what’
    syourname?”
    Mal
    col
    m smi
    l
    ed.“
    Mal
    col
    m.”
    “OhhiMalcol
    m, socuteli
    kehi
    smother.Taku,
    I
    wil
    lfi
    nishmaki
    ngbr eakf
    astwi
    thEazi
    .Abebe
    car
    efulwit
    hthatcutey.
    ”
    Hi
    smot
    herdr
    aggedmet
    otheki
    tchensmi
    l
    ing.
    “Imi
    ssedy
    ousomuch.Youl
    ookbeaut
    if
    ul,
    what
    arey
    oumaking?
    ”

    *
    **
    Abewalkedoutwi
    thhi
    sfat
    herl
    eav
    ingMal
    col
    m
    watchi
    ngTV.
    “
    Shehasachi
    l
    dont
    opofev
    ery
    thi
    ng?
    ”
    “Idon’
    thav
    eapr
    obl
    em wi
    thherchi
    l
    d.Il
    ove
    him.”
    “
    Shei
    smar
    ri
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Shei
    sendi
    ngt
    hemar
    ri
    age.
    ”
    “Womenlikeherar
    eli
    kel
    ytobreakyourhear
    t
    becauseonedayshewil
    lwanttorai
    seherchi
    ld
    wit
    hherbabydaddy.”
    “
    Eazi
    doesn’
    tlov
    ehi
    m,heabusesher
    .”
    “Butshestil
    lmarr
    iedhi
    m knowingal
    lthat
    .You
    shouldbreakupwithher
    ,sheismarr
    ied.That
    cantaintyouri
    mage.”
    “Idon’
    tcareaboutimage,Il
    oveherandIam
    goingtohaveher.Iam notper
    fectsoIdon’t
    expecthertobeperfect
    .Shehasherf l
    awsbut
    i
    t’stheki
    ndofflawswecanf ixtoget
    her.She
    hasneverbeenshownr eall
    oveandIwil
    lteach
    herwhatlovei
    s,Iam goingtobepat
    ientwith
    her.
    ”
    “Andthereisnothi
    ngwr ongwi t
    ht hatbutthi
    s
    oneisdiffer
    entcase.Shewillhurtyou.Iknow
    shewillespeci
    all
    ynowt hatsheknowsy oulove
    hermore.”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lbef
    ine,
    whatdi
    dyouwantt
    odi
    scuss.
    ”
    “Iwasthi
    nki
    ngabouty
    ourbr
    otherl
    astni
    ghtand
    Ithi
    nk-
    “
    “Iam notsleepi
    ngwi t
    hhiswifeandnev erwi
    llI
    .
    Iwasn’trai
    sedt osl
    eepwi t
    hmybr other’
    swif
    e,I
    wast aughtthatmybrother’
    swifeisl i
    kemy
    sist
    erandIdon’ tsl
    eepwithmysi sters.
    ”
    Hisf
    athersi
    ghed.“Ok.Ihavet
    ogoandget
    somethi
    ngforthecar,t
    elly
    ourmot
    herIam
    comi
    ngback.”
    *
    **

    Li
    natearfull
    ylookedatherweddingpictur
    e
    fr
    ameont hewall,wi
    thAbealreadysuspecti
    ng
    shecouldn’tt
    ryagain.Herphonerangthenshe
    answeredherf at
    herin-
    law’
    scall,
    herheart
    poundi
    ng.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    HiLi
    na,
    arey
    ouhome?I
    sTendai
    ther
    e?”
    “
    YesbutTendai
    isnot
    .”
    “
    Ok.Iam comi
    ngt
    her
    ejustnow.
    ”
    Hehungupthenshelookedatherphone
    conf
    used.Mi
    nutesl
    atershel
    etherfatheri
    n-l
    aw
    i
    nherhouse.
    “CanIgiv
    ey ousomet
    hingt
    odr
    inkwhi
    l
    eImake
    breakf
    ast?”
    Heshookhi
    shead.“
    No,
    Ineedt
    otal
    ktoy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Theysatdownandshel
    ookedathim knowing
    ful
    lwel
    lAbehadtol
    dhim.Shecouldn’
    teven
    begi
    ntoimagi
    newhathewasthinkingofher.
    “Ihavebeent ol
    daboutthepr
    oblem i
    nyour
    mar r
    iage.Longbackwhensuchhappened,your
    husband’sbrotherwoul
    dstepinbutnowthi
    ngs
    havechanged, thenewgener
    ati
    ondon’tbel
    i
    eve
    i
    nt hatatall
    .”
    “Iwantyout
    oknowIonl ysuggest
    edittoAbe
    becauseIwasdesperat
    e,nothi
    ngmore.Iwould
    neversl
    eepwit
    hhim knowingheishusband’
    s
    brot
    her.
    ”
    “No,
    don’tapologiz
    e.Itwasactual
    lyagreati
    dea
    j
    ustthatTendai’
    sbrotherr
    especthimtoomuch
    asanolderbrother.
    ”
    “
    AndIunder
    stand.
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tknowwhatwil
    lmakeTendait
    oaccept
    t
    hathecan’
    thav
    ekidsbutIwon’
    twatchmy
    son’
    smarri
    agefal
    lapar
    tbecauseofsucha
    tr
    ivi
    almat
    ter
    .”
    Li
    nal
    ookedathi
    m conf
    used.
    “Iwil
    lbethesper
    m donorandyouwil
    lhav
    ea
    chil
    d.Iam f
    ert
    il
    eandtheprobl
    em i
    snotyouso
    i
    twi l
    lwork.
    ”
    Li
    nal
    ookedathi
    m wi
    thapoundi
    nghear
    t.
    “
    Buty
    ouar
    emyf
    ather
    .”
    “Yesbutnoty ourreal
    fat
    her.Youareagood
    womanf orTendaiandIwil
    lnothavehim
    cheatingspreadi
    nghisdi
    sabili
    ti
    es.Theentir
    e
    worldwi l
    lknowandhewi l
    lbeembar rassed.
    Unlessy ouwanttowalkawayf rom t
    his
    mar r
    iage.”
    “
    No!Iwantmyhusband.
    ”
    “
    Good,whatev
    ery
    onedoesn’
    tknowwon’
    tki
    l
    l
    t
    hem.”
    Li
    nanoddedt
    henTendai
    ’
    sfat
    herst
    oodup,
    conf usedshest oodupt oo.Hecl osedt he
    distancebet weent hem andki ssedher .Linaput
    herhandov erhi schest ,theol dmanact ually
    knewhi swaywi tht hemout h.Heki ssedher
    evenmor eslidinghi shandi nsideherpant i
    es.
    Her ubbedhercl i
    twi thhist onguei nhermout h.
    Linal etoutasl ightsoundi nhismout h.Het ook
    offhi shandf rom herpant iesandt ookof fher
    nightdressandl ookedathernakedness.Li na
    l
    ookedatdi ckhar di nhispant s,shehadnev er
    l
    ookedathi ml i
    ket hatbutnowshenot icedhow
    hedi dn’tlookol d, hehadagr eatbody ,andhe
    wast al
    l,tall
    ert hanhi ssons, hisbear dwas
    shapedper f
    ect l
    yandhehadacl eanhai rcut.
    Linaqui cklyunbut tonedhi sshi rtandt ooki toff
    thenunzi ppedhi spant s.Tendai ’
    sf at hercupped
    herbr eastandsqueezedt hem t henki ssedher
    againbef oretur ningherar oundsot hatshe
    touchest hecouchst andingbehi ndher .He
    strokedhi shar danacondaandbl ockedher
    pathway -#remov ed.
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe
    #15
    #r
    emov
    ed

    Tendai’
    sfathercuppedherbreastand
    squeezedthem thenkissedheragainbefor
    e
    tur
    ningheraroundsot hatshetouchesthe
    couchstandingbehindher.Hestrokedhishar
    d
    anacondaandbl ockedherpathway.
    Linaf r
    ownedashesankhi sveineddi
    ckinher
    foldsstari
    ngatherpussystr
    etch.Hepushed
    furtherinasshetookqui
    ckbreaths.He
    stoppedt hensl
    idoutandsli
    dbackinsi
    deher
    agai n.
    “
    Gaaad!Nott
    oodeep.
    ”
    “
    Rel
    ax,
    letdaddyf
    ixy
    ou.
    ”
    Tendai
    ’
    sf at
    hergav
    eherslowstrokespushi
    ng
    hi
    sdickinmorewitheachthr
    ustti
    llhewas
    completel
    yburi
    edinsi
    deher .Herti
    ghtness
    wrappedaroundhimli
    keav i
    nemaki nghim
    gruntwonderi
    ngwhenl asthehadapussyso
    ti
    ghtandsweet.Heheldherwai standslidout
    l
    eav i
    ngtheti
    pinthenthrustbackindeepi nsi
    de
    herwithagrunt.
    “
    Ohy
    eah…”
    Hemov edhi swaistdiggingintoherenj oy
    ing
    her,meanwhi leLinaf r
    ownedatt hepaint aki
    ng
    i
    tlikeabi ggirl,
    eachcamet hrustindeeper .
    Nowt hi
    swast hefatherandt hatdickinsideher
    wasmuchev idence.Thepainsl owlyeased
    replacedbysuddenpl easureashepushedi nto
    her.Shecl osedherey esslowl ymoani ngsof t
    ly
    ashepoundedi nt
    oher .Tendai’sfather
    spankedherasscur v i
    nghisbackmov ingmor e
    i
    ntoher .
    “Ohh…”Shemoanedsof tl
    y.Heputherl
    egs
    toget
    herandmov edfast
    erwatchi
    ngthatl
    i
    ttl
    e
    pussystr
    etchi
    ng.Forminuteshef
    uckedher
    whi l
    eshemoanedhuggi ngthecushion.He
    pulledherfrom t
    hecouchsli
    dingoutofhert hen
    pickedherupandwal kedwithhertothedining
    table.Wit
    hbot hl
    egsonhisshoulders,Tendai’
    s
    fathershovedhisdi
    ckinsi
    deher.
    “
    Nott
    oor
    oughahhf
    uck!
    ”
    Tendai
    ’
    sfatherl
    eanedoverandki
    ssedher.
    “Thi
    sdaddy’
    spussynow,it’
    shi
    stoenjoy
    ,just
    rel
    axWho’spussyist
    his?
    ”
    Li
    nalookedathim dr
    il
    li
    ngi
    ntoherbr
    eat
    hing
    heav
    il
    y.“Daddy
    ’s.
    ”
    “
    Good.Youar
    esosweetandt
    ight
    .”
    Hepoundedi ntoasherbreastshookwi t
    hev er
    y
    thrust.Sheclosedhereyesast hepleasure
    cameont oheragain.Godhewassogoodand
    herpussyagr eedwi t
    hher.Tendai’
    sfat her
    wor kedintohergrunti
    ng,Li
    na’spussybegan
    cont r
    acti
    ngashermoansgotl ouder.Hert oes
    crampedasshesqueezedherbr east,hereyes
    tur
    ningt
    otheback,
    heror
    gasm r
    upt
    uredi
    nsi
    de
    her.
    “
    Ohhh…i
    t’
    ssogood…”
    Hemov edevenfast
    erashisbal
    lsti
    ngl
    edt hen
    hersqueezedherwaistgi
    vingheronelast
    powerfulthr
    ustandrel
    easeddeepinsi
    deher ,
    fi
    ll
    i
    ngherpussywi thhi
    sferti
    l
    eseeds.
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #16

    AtAbe’
    shouse,
    Ilaughedwi
    thhi
    smotheras
    shetol
    dmehowshemetAbe’ sf
    ather
    .
    “Iwasinthechur
    chchoi
    r,Isangsopr
    ano.Our
    churchhadabranchi
    nZim, wewouldgoduri
    ng
    thechur chf est i
    valsort hosei nZi m woul d
    comesot hist i
    mear oundt heywer ecomi ng
    andt hef esti
    v alwasbei nghel di nMahal apy e,
    wher eIam f rom.TheSundayser vicecame, i
    t
    wasmeantt obeanal lnightpr ay erandour
    choirwasgoi ngt omi xwi t
    ht heZi m choi r.My
    parent sandIar ri
    v edabi tl
    atet henIr ushedi n
    witht hebackdoorandt hat’swher eImethi m.
    Hewashel pingbr ingi nt hewi neandbr eadf or
    thehol ycommuni oni nsidethechur chandt he
    momentIsetmyey esonhi m myhear tskipped.
    Hesmi l
    edatme, Ihadaboy fri
    endt hen, a
    boy f
    riendwhomypar entshadmet ,wewer ei n
    thesamechur chandourr elationshi phadbeen
    blessedi nthechur ch, t
    hedat ef ormagadi
    negot iati
    onshadbeensetandIdi dn’tlov ehi m
    persaybutIwasgoi ngt olearnt o.Ismi l
    ed
    backatt hi
    smanwhoseemedt oot alland
    handsomet henwentt othechoi r.Thechur ch
    servicebegunandaswesangIkeptt hinking
    abouthi m.Whent akingourbr eakIwentout
    wit
    hmycousi n,
    Dor ot
    hy ,
    forfreshairandthere
    hewas,smoking.Outsidethechur ch.Helooked
    atmeandr i
    ghtthatsecondIj ustknewhe
    wasn’tt
    heone,ngng, nowayIwoul ddatea
    manwhosmokedandei therwayourchur ch
    di
    dn’tal
    lowsmokingsohewassi nning.
    ”
    Ismil
    edint
    ri
    guedandl
    i
    stenedasshesmi
    l
    ed
    tal
    ki
    ng.
    “Hethrewawayt heci garetteandwal ked
    towardsussmel li
    ngni cot i
    ne.Icouldj ustvomit.
    Hegreet edDor othythenl ookedatmeand
    simpl
    ysai d‘ youar ebeaut i
    ful
    ’.Ii
    gnor edhim, I
    wasn’taboutt obehav ingconv ersationswi t
    ha
    smoker ,myf amilywast oodeepi nt o
    Chri
    stianityandt hismanwasj usttheopposi te
    ofwhatwer epresented.Myf atherwasapast or
    .
    Hesmi ledt hatchar mingsmi leofhi sandasked
    i
    fIwasi gnoringhi m andi fIwer etoohol yfor
    him.Iturnedr eadytot ellhim allt
    hev er
    sesin
    thebibleIknewandheki ssedmei nstead.Now
    taket his, t
    hisi
    sa17y earoldr ur
    al gi
    rl
    ,never
    kissedorhuggedbef ore,don’tknowany thi
    ng
    aboutr elati
    onshi
    psandt hi
    smani skissi
    ngme.
    Ar eal kissIonlysawonceonabi oscopeone
    ti
    mewhenIwentt owat chamov i
    eandmy
    par entsbannedmef r
    om goi ngev eragai
    n
    becauset hemoviewast eachingusbad
    things.”
    Wel aughedt henshepushedherhai rfr
    om her
    face.“ Idon’tknowwhathappenedbuthewas
    kissingmeandt hehumanbodyi saf unnything.
    Trustme, itwil
    l r
    espondt othingsyoudon’ t
    evenknowabout .Ididn’tevennot i
    ceDor othy
    wal kingawayandwhenhemov edbackhe
    smi led.Iaskedhi m wher eheleantthatandhe
    saidhewor ksforawhi t
    eguyandheal way s
    seeshi m kissi
    nghi swi f
    eandhel earnt.Het old
    mehi snameandf rom ther eaconv ersati
    onj ust
    roll
    edout ,wesatout sidet alki
    ngandl aughing,
    weconnect ed,Icouldn’tdenyi tandheki ssed
    mor eteachi ngmet i
    llIactuallyknew.My
    mot herwal kedoutandourey eslocked.Iwas
    soscar ed, terrif
    ied, Iquicklygotup.Shedi dn’t
    sayany thingbutj ustgotbacki nt hechur ch,
    withmehotbehi ndherheel s.Iwentbackt othe
    stageandnev ersawhi m agai nfort her estof
    thatnight.Thef ollowi ngdaywewentback
    homeast heZi mt eam wentback.Mymot her
    toldmyf at herandIgott hebeat ingofmyl i
    fe.I
    hadmar kst oshowf oritforsev eral years.I
    remembermymot hercr iedaski ngmewhyI
    want edtoki l
    l her, thatmor ningwhenDor othy
    camebyandshet oldmeTakuwant edtosee
    me.Imadeapl anandwentt oseehi m under
    thisbigtreet hatl aterbecameourt r
    ee.Hewas
    goingtoZi m, andhehadonl ycomewi tht he
    churcht ohel pt hem outandnott hathewas
    partofthechur ch.Het oldmehewoul donl yrub
    i
    tonmeandj ustputi nabi t,thatr ubbingi snow
    anol dmant oday .
    ”
    “
    Youdi
    ditundert
    het
    ree?
    ”
    “Yes,seet het reehadt hi
    sov erlappingshade,
    sowedi ditt hereandguyl eft.Mont hswentby
    andIr eali
    zedsomet hi ngwasn’ tright.Aweek
    beforemymagadi negot iat
    ions, mymot hersat
    medownandsai d‘ y
    ouar epr egnantGi na’
    .I
    couldn’tdenyi t,Icoul df eel t
    hebabymov i
    ngso
    Istart
    edcr y i
    ngt hensheshockedmewhenshe
    suggest edIabor t.Sheconv i
    ncedsay ingmy
    mar r
    iagewon’ tlastifIwentwi t
    hachi l
    d, t
    hat
    peoplewoul dlaughi tatmef orhav ingachi l
    d
    withaf oreignerandt hatmyf at herwoul dkil
    l
    me.SoIagr eed, thefol l
    owi ngdaywewoul dgo
    andseet hedoct or.Andt hatni ght,Takucame
    andknockedonmywi ndow.Al l mysisterswere
    mar r
    iedsoIwasal oneandhet ookme.He
    touchedmyst omachandf eltit.Hecr i
    edand
    saidhei shappy ,andhei sgoi ngt omakeme
    hiswife.Weagr eedt omor r
    owIwoul dbreakthe
    newst ohi spar ent sandt hathehadbr oughthis
    uncleal ongsohi suncl ewasgoi ngt ot alktomy
    father .Thef oll
    owi ngday ,aspl anned, Itoldmy
    father .Hegotsoangr yhet ookt hisshambok,
    hewasgoi ngt oki l
    l mesoIr anandTakuwas
    wai t
    ingatourt ree.Itoldhi m myf atherwast oo
    angr yhewasgoi ngtoki llbot hofus.Sowef led,
    Iwasy oung, Iwaspr egnant ,Iwasi nl ove.It ook
    adeci siont hatt il
    ltodayIdon’ tregret.Ichose
    him.Het ookmet oZi m, wedi dn’tgot hrough
    thebor derbecauseIhadnopasspor tthenhe
    tookmet ohi shomev il
    lage.Hi smot herlov ed
    mef rom t hef i
    rstglance, shewasacr èche
    teacher .Shegav emesomuchl ov ethatmy
    ownmot hernev ergav eme.Shet aughtmeal ot
    butIst ayedwi thTakui nt hisfarm wher ehe
    wor kedf orthewhi temanandhi sf ami l
    y.The
    wifet aughtmehowt obakeandi tjustbecame
    myt hing.Ay earl aterIgav ebirthtoTendai
    Tafira.Takuhadgat heredhi sgut sandhet ook
    meandhi sent irefami lytoBot swana.Myf ather
    washappyt oseemebutatt hesamet i
    me, he
    hatedTaku,hedidn’
    tevenhideit
    .Buti
    twas
    ei
    therheacceptedthebri
    depr i
    ceormyuncl e
    di
    d, myunclel
    ovedmoney .Igotmarri
    edsoon
    aft
    erthatandtodayher
    eIam.Onmyweddi ng
    dayIdancedtoGi r
    li
    eMafura,gi
    mmey ourlove.”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Iwi
    shIwast
    her
    e.”
    “
    Thatcanal
    wayshappenf
    ory
    ou.Takut
    oldme
    y
    ouaremarri
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Imadeami
    stakebecauseIwast
    ooscar
    ed.
    ”
    “Baby,mist
    akeshappenandmi stakescanbe
    fi
    xed.Iknowy ouar eunsureofal otoft hi
    ngs
    butyouwi l
    lnev erbesur etil
    lyout akechances.
    Abelovesy ou, helovesy ourson. ”Shet i
    lt
    edmy
    chinandsmi l
    ed.“ Ialsolovey ou.Iseemy selfi
    n
    you.Sometimesy ouhav et oputy our sel
    ffi
    rst.
    Letpeopletalk, t
    heywi l
    lalway stal k,t
    hat’
    swhat
    theydo.TakuandIhav ebeent oget herf
    or
    yearsandIam happy .
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Soy
    ouhav
    eonl
    ytwoki
    ds?
    ”
    “
    No.Iactual
    lyhavethreeboy
    sandonegirl
    ,the
    y
    oungest.Sheiscurr
    entlywi
    thhergr
    andmother
    i
    nZim.Mymot heri
    n-l
    awspoil
    shersosheloves
    i
    tther
    e.”
    Gi
    nagotupandtookoutthecakefr
    om the
    oven.“
    Come,
    letmeteachyou.Iam apast
    ry
    Chef.
    ”

    *
    **

    AtMapula’shouse, Abesteppedoutand
    knockedonherdoor .Sheopenedminutesl
    ater
    andlookedathi m.Abesmi l
    edthenputonhi s
    capbackwar dstar
    ingather.Shewasj ustf
    ine,
    nothi
    ngmucht owr i
    tebackhomeabout .
    Mapulalookedathi m withapoundi
    ngheart
    goingstr
    aightforthecount.
    “
    Hi…”
    “
    Mapul
    a?”
    Shenoddedswal
    l
    owi
    nghar
    d.“
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Great
    ,canwet
    alk?
    ”
    Shenoddedagai nmov ingfr
    om t
    hedoor.Abe
    wal
    kedi nandsatononeofhercouches.She
    act
    uall
    ylivedinabeaut i
    ful
    houseandhe
    wonderedifhisbrotherwastheone
    maint
    ainingtheli
    fe.Shesatontheothercouch.
    “
    Iam Abedi
    l
    e,Tendai
    ’
    sbr
    other
    .”
    Sheputherhandsonherl
    ap.“
    Didhesendy
    ou
    her
    e?”
    “
    No.Don’
    tyoul
    i
    kev
    isi
    tor
    s?”
    “
    No.
    .Ido,
    ,Idon’
    t.
    ”
    “
    War
    engMapul
    a?”
    Shecl
    ear
    edherthr
    oatandl
    ookeddownonher
    fi
    nger
    squi
    etl
    y.
    “
    Iam sor
    ryf
    orwhatmybr
    otherdi
    d,aski
    ngy
    ou
    toabor
    tt henusi
    ngvi
    olenceony
    ou.Wewer
    e
    neverr
    aisedli
    kethat
    .”
    “
    Yourbr
    otherdeser
    vest
    obei
    njai
    l
    .”
    “Andyouareri
    ghtaboutt
    hatbutcanyouplease
    for
    giv
    ehim.Hemadeami st
    akeandhewi l
    lstay
    awayfrom y
    oufrom nowon.Iwil
    lper
    sonal
    ly
    makesureofit
    .”
    “
    Whati
    fhecomesaf
    terme?
    ”
    “
    Youhavemeiny ourcor
    ner
    ,youhav
    enot
    hing
    t
    oworryabout
    .”
    “
    Iam scar
    edofy
    ourbr
    other
    .”
    “Ipr
    omiseyouhewi
    l
    lnev
    ercomeaft
    eryou.As
    compensat
    ion,
    howmuchdoyouwant?
    ”
    Mapul
    alookedathi
    m.“
    P10K.
    ”
    Abechuckl
    edstari
    ngather
    .Hewouldnev
    er
    gi
    vehersomuchmoneybutt henhewasdoi
    ng
    i
    tforhi
    sbrother
    .
    “
    Ok.Iwi
    l
    lhav
    eitdeposi
    tedt
    oyou.Whenwi
    l
    l
    y
    oudr
    opt
    hechar
    ges?
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lgonow.
    ”
    Hehandedherhisphone.“
    Sav
    eyournumberso
    Icancal
    landconfi
    rm.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Mapul
    asav
    edhernumberthenAbewal
    kedout
    .
    Hi
    sphoner
    angashegotinhiscar
    .
    “
    Yeah?
    ”
    “Ihavebeencal
    l
    ingTendai
    butIcan’
    tgethol
    d
    ofhim.”
    “
    Hei
    sinj
    ail
    ,don’
    ttel
    lany
    one.
    ”
    “
    Whatdi
    dhedo?
    ”
    “Hi
    ssidechi
    cksai
    dheassaul
    tedandr
    aped
    her
    .”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Hedi
    d.”
    “
    Fuck!Hewi
    l
    lgodownf
    orr
    ape.
    ”
    “Iknow,Ispoketoher,may
    beshewi
    l
    ldr
    opt
    he
    chargesIdon’tknow.
    ”
    “Ihopeso.AnywaysIj
    ustspoketoTashat
    ha,
    shesaidAuntyissi
    ck,
    sheisinhospi
    tal
    .”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lherwhenIgethome.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    keepmeupdat
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Sur
    e.”
    Hest ar
    tedthecaranddrovetoGameCitymall
    .
    Hewal kedaroundthemallandboughtafew
    t
    hings.Heputt hem i
    nthecarasMoemedi
    walkedovertohim.
    “
    Wher
    eismywi
    fe?
    ”
    Abetur
    nedandlookedathi
    mthenchuckl
    ed.
    “Whoareyout
    alki
    ngto?”
    “
    You!Eazii
    smywif
    eandMal
    col
    mismyson.
    Wher
    ear et
    hey
    ?”
    “
    Ok,let
    ’st
    alkmant
    oman, howmuchdoyou
    wanttost
    ayawayf
    rom Eazi
    ?Iwi
    l
    lgiv
    eyouany
    amount
    .”
    “Iam goi
    ngtosuey outhengetmywi feback.
    Youthinkyouaresmar tbecauseyouareri
    ch,
    waitandsee.Ipaidhermagadi andweare
    l
    egall
    ymar ri
    ed.Icansuey ou.
    ”
    “
    Iam t
    ryi
    ngt
    oof
    fery
    ouagooddeal
    .”
    “Youwillgi
    vemethatmoneyatcourtaft
    erIsue
    you,waitandwat
    ch.Eazil
    ovesmeandshewi l
    l
    alwayscometome.Youar estupi
    dtothi
    nkshe
    will
    staywithy
    ou.Eazii
    smineandmi neonly
    .”
    Abeswunghi
    sfi
    standpunchedhi
    m.
    “Nextti
    mey oucal
    lEaziy oursIwill
    domor e
    thanthat.Andifeverinyourlif
    ey ousaythe
    wordstupidt ome,Iwillkickyourball
    ssohard
    youwi l
    lneverhavekids.Osekabat l
    ago
    ntl
    waelat l
    emonna, otlaswabakana. ”
    Abegotinhiscaranddroveoff
    .Hethoughtof
    Linaandchangedther
    oute,shest
    il
    lwasgoing
    toexplai
    nwhyshedruggedhim.Minuteshe
    wasdr
    ivi
    ngi
    nherst
    reet
    .

    *
    **

    Linaclosedherey est i
    ght l
    ysqueezingher
    breastwhi l
    eTendai ’
    sf atherheldherwaist
    thrusti
    ngf r
    om beneat h,hisdickfil
    li
    ngherup
    overandov eragain.Acardr ov ei
    nthenLi na
    hear dthecardoorcl osing.Herhear tski
    ppedas
    shepaused, Tendai’
    sfat hergroanedfucking
    hermor edeeper.Shet hrewherheadbackas
    herpussyspasmedwhi l
    eTendai ’
    sfather
    releasedhiswar m seedsi nsideher.

    *
    **
    Meanwhi l
    eoutside,Abesuspici
    ousl
    ylookedat
    herfather
    ’scarandopenedt hecardoors
    beforewalki
    nginsidethehouse.Therewasno
    oneinthesit
    ti
    ngroom.Hisheartst
    arted
    poundi
    ngashehear dvoi
    cesattheout door
    .He
    fol
    l
    owedt hevoi
    cesandfoundhisfathertal
    king
    wit
    hLina.Takutur
    nedandlookedathi sson.
    “
    Whydi
    dn’
    tyout
    ell
    meTendai
    isi
    njai
    l
    ?”
    AbelookedatLi
    nat
    henathi
    sfat
    her
    .“Iwas
    handl
    ingit
    .”
    “
    Howdoy
    ouhandl
    esuchamat
    teral
    one?
    ”
    “
    Ithoughty
    ouhadt
    ogetsomet
    hing.
    ”
    “
    Idi
    dbutthendaught
    eri
    n-l
    awcall
    edme.Idon’t
    l
    i
    kethisAbe,
    youshoul
    dn’
    tkeepsuchsecr
    ets
    f
    rom me.”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    Takugotupsli
    dinghisphoneinhi spocket.
    “Daught
    er,
    Iwillasky
    ourmot herin-lawtocal
    l
    you.Don’
    tfeel
    alone,wearetheref oryou.
    ”
    “
    Yesdaddy
    .”
    Takuwal
    kedr
    oundt
    hehouset
    hengoti
    nhi
    scar
    anddr
    oveof
    f.Abel
    ookedatLi
    na.
    “Iknowy oudruggedmesot hatyoucant r
    y
    breaki
    ngmyr elat
    ionshi
    pwi thEazi,Idon’
    twhy
    youwoul ddot hatbutnowi thasshownme
    whataconni vingsnakey ouar e.WhenTendai
    getsout,Iam takinghimf oramedi cal
    examinationandy ouwillexplainhowy ouare
    pregnantwhenhei sinf
    erti
    le.
    ”
    Abeturnedandwal kedaway
    ,getti
    nginhiscar
    hesatforawhile,hewassureLina’
    sdresswas
    i
    nsideout.Hisphonerangmakinghim st
    artthe
    caranddriv
    eof f
    .
    “
    Mama…”
    “Wher
    eareyou?Howlongdoesi
    ttakey
    out
    o
    getmethef
    ewi ngr
    edi
    ent
    s?”
    “
    Iam comi
    ng.
    ”

    *
    **
    Eazif
    ini
    sheddecorati
    ngthecakewhileGina
    spoketoonherphoneout si
    delaughi
    ng.Her
    phonerangthenshelookedatMoemedi ’
    s
    numberforawhile.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    twanty
    ouany
    mor
    e.”
    “
    Why
    ?Becausey
    ouhav
    efoundar
    ichman?
    ”
    Il
    ookedatMalcolm wat
    chi
    ngTVandshookmy
    head.“
    No,becauseyoudon’
    tdeser
    veme.
    ”
    “Iam goingtosuey ourlit
    tl
    eboyfri
    endand
    clai
    mf ullcustodyofmyson.Af terthatIwi
    ll
    huntyoudownandki l
    lyou.YouthinkIam
    stupi
    dt ohav ebeentakingcareofy ouand
    Malcolm allalong?Iam goingtokilly
    ou.”
    “
    Youarecrazy
    !Ihavenevermetacrazyman
    l
    i
    keyou,youarefool
    i
    sh,IwonderwhatIsawi
    n
    you!Iam goingt odissolvet hi
    smar ri
    ageandI
    wantmymoney !Iam comi ngtot akemyt hings
    andy ouwillneverseeMal colm ev eragain.
    Stupi
    di di
    ot!Youwi llnevercompar etoAbe, go
    andhangy our sel
    f!Makesur etodi ethist i
    me
    around.Othermenhav ereal j
    obsoutt here,Abe
    getsmecl othesfrom For chini,
    doy ouev en
    knowFor chini
    ?Iam noty ourt ype,Iwasnev er
    yourtype.Youshoul dbet hankf ulIev enst ayed
    withyouallthesey earsev enthoughy ou
    abusedmebutIam done! ”
    “
    Youar
    est
    il
    lmywi
    fe.
    ”
    “
    Notforl
    ong,
    myr
    ichboy
    fri
    endi
    sgoi
    ngt
    osor
    t
    i
    tout
    !”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe
    #17

    Lat
    ert
    hatday
    ,Gi
    nahuggedt
    ight
    lyt
    henki
    ssed
    mycheek.
    “
    Weshoul
    ddot
    hisagai
    n.”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Takulookedatmeoncethengotinhiscar
    whileAbeputhi
    sar
    m aroundmywai stwhile
    holdi
    ngMalcol
    m wi
    ththeotherhand.Theycar
    droveofft
    henAbetur
    nedtomeandki ssedme.
    “
    Onedayandy
    ouar
    eal
    readybestf
    ri
    endswi
    th
    mymom.”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Shei
    sfun.Il
    i
    keher
    .”
    Wewal kedbackinsi
    dethehousethenAbe
    sett
    ledonthecouchwithMalcol
    m swit
    ching
    thechanneltoasport
    schannelwhil
    eIwalked
    tothebedroom.Isetupthei
    ronboardthen
    start
    edironinghisclothesandr epackedhi s
    entir
    ewar drobe.Overt wohourslaterhewal ked
    i
    nt hebedr oom asIfinishedwithwhatIwas
    doing.Hesmi ledstaringatthenewset -up,
    everythi
    ngwasi nplace, itl
    ookednice,nicer
    thanwhathecoul dhav ecomeupwi thonhi s
    own.
    “
    Don’
    tyoul
    i
    kei
    t?”
    “Il
    ovei
    tbabe.I
    t’
    sbeaut
    if
    ul.Youshoul
    dhav
    e
    cal
    ledme,Iwoul
    dhavehelped.
    ”
    Hetookhist-shi
    rtandopenedhiswardrobeand
    smi
    ledlookingathisper
    fectl
    ypackedclothes.
    Heclosedthewar dr
    obeandwalkedov ertome.
    “Youar
    eclear
    lyneededmor
    ethanIt
    hought
    .
    Thankyou.
    ”
    Islowl
    ysmil
    edconfused.“
    Youdon’
    thav
    eto
    thankmeforthat
    .”
    “
    No,y
    oudidn’
    thav
    et obuty
    oudid.Youtook
    y
    ourt
    imeandenergyandfi
    xedever
    ythi
    ngof
    mi
    ne.Thanky
    ou.Iappr
    eci
    atei
    t.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Heki
    ssedmewit
    hhishandsonmywaist.“
    Iwi
    l
    l
    r
    unusabath,
    youcangoandpouruswine.
    ”
    “
    IsMal
    col
    m sl
    eepi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Iwalkedtotheki
    tchenandtookoutt
    wowi ne
    glassandpouredforus.I
    nthebedr
    oom,hehad
    switchedof
    ftheli
    ghtsandli
    ght
    edthescented
    candles.
    “
    Abe?
    ”
    “
    Her
    e.”
    Iwalkedinsi
    det heensuit
    eandsmil
    edstari
    ngat
    therosepetal
    sont hefloorandi
    nthebatht
    ub.
    Hetookthegl assesofwineandsmil
    edinonly
    hiswhit
    ebr i
    efs.
    “
    Youar
    etr
    yingt
    ogetusdr
    unk.
    ”
    “
    Isi
    ttoomuch?
    ”
    Heki
    ssedme.“
    It
    ’sf
    ine.
    ”
    Heputt heglassesonthesi
    deofhisbi
    g
    bathtubthenturnedbackt
    omeandt ookoffmy
    dress.Helookedattheli
    nger
    iehehadbought
    meandsmi l
    ed.
    “
    May
    beweshoul
    d-“
    “
    Weshoul
    dbat
    h.”
    Abel aughed.“NnababeIwon’ tli
    etoy ou,ke
    rat
    amor obalo,ker at akuku( Ilovesex, Il
    ov e
    pussy )andIam notashamedofi t
    ,youhav et o
    adjustbecauseIcan’ tgoonwi thoutsex.That
    thi
    ngbet weeny ourl egsismydai lymeal .I
    wouldst il
    lfucky ouev enony ourper i
    od, even
    wheny ouareangr y.Iwillfi
    llthatpussyupt hat
    everyt i
    mey ouwal ky ouwi l
    lfeel mycum
    l
    eakingandIdon’ tgett i
    red.”Het ookmyhand
    andputi tonhi sexpandi ngdick.“ Youfeelt hat
    babe?I t’
    sallwai t
    ingt osi nkdeepi ny ou.Ilove
    youandIl ovepussytoo,notthatIwi
    llcheat
    j
    ustt hatIl
    ovepussyandy ourpussyi
    sont he
    crossfir
    e.Sodon’tdenymei t
    ,am Icl
    ear?”
    “
    Ehr
    ra.
    ”
    Hesmi
    l
    edt
    henki
    ssedme.“
    Great
    .”
    Heunclippedmybr aandpull
    eddownmy
    pant
    ies.Isteppedoutofthem whi
    l
    ehet
    ookof
    f
    hi
    sbriefsandgotinthetub.
    “
    Come…”
    Ist
    eppedinsi
    dethetubt
    hensatdowninthe
    warm wat
    erwithmybackonhisfr
    ont.Abe
    pul
    ledmecloserthenki
    ssedmyneck.
    “
    Befor
    eyoursoontobeex,
    whatki
    ndofman
    wer
    eyoulooki
    ngfor?
    ”
    Isi
    ghed.“Iwantedacarr
    yingman,hedi
    dn’t
    necessar
    il
    yhav etoberi
    chbuthehadtolove
    me,respectme, putmefi
    rst
    ,hadt
    obefaithf
    ul
    andresponsi
    ble.”
    “Iwantast rongwoman, awomanwhocan
    standupf orher self
    .Someonewhocanst and
    hergr ound, someonewhoi snotapushov er.A
    respectful womanwhocanl ovemeandonl y
    me, Ihav eanobsessi onwi thfaithfulness.
    May bei t
    ’showIwasr aisedbutf ai
    thf ulnessi sa
    neededf act orbecauseIdon’ tdowel l shari
    ng.I
    needanhonestwoman, Iam t ranspar ent ,
    I
    don’texpectmypar tnert obet het y pewhol ies,
    l
    iesar eat ur noffbecausei twillmakei thard
    formet ot r
    usty ouagai n.Iwantsomeonewho
    i
    smat ureenought otellmewhatt hepr oblem is
    notexpectmet oguesswor k,amat urewoman
    whocant hinkforourf ami l
    ywhenIam not
    there.Andawomanwhodoesn’ tdenymesex.I
    don’tknowwhathappenedt oy oui nt helastsi x
    yearsbutsomet hingtellsmey ouwer en’t
    alway sli
    ket hi
    s.Youar eabr okenwomanandI
    knowIhav et ododamagecont rolfirstbef oreI
    canf i
    nallyenj oyyoubuty ouhav et oknowwhat
    youwant .Ican’tmakedeci sionsf ory ou.Ican
    onl
    ysuppor
    tyou.
    ”
    “
    Iwantadi
    vor
    ce.
    ”
    “
    Consi
    deri
    tdone.
    ”
    *
    **

    Moemedi fi
    nishedcooki ngwi ththel astmai ze
    meal i
    nthehouseandst ar
    tedeat ing.Hel ooked
    aroundt hehouse, i
    twassoqui etwi t
    houtEazi
    andMal colm andhef oundhi msel fmi ssi
    ng
    them.Hi smi ndt ookhi m backt ot heirhappy
    ti
    meswher etheywoul dplayagamel aughi ng.
    Hisf oodsuddenl ybecamet astel
    ess, Mal colm
    didn’tli
    kehim, i
    twasn’ thardtosee.The
    football
    erwaspr obabl yspoili
    ngt hem, he
    remember edt heclotheshehadboughtf or
    Mal colmt heot hertime,theywer esoexpensi ve.
    Het ookhi sphonet hencalledEazi .
    “
    -yourbal
    ancei
    snotsuf
    fi
    cientt
    o-“
    Hehungupt henf
    rownedatt
    heknockont he
    door.Hest
    oodupandopenedthenlookedat
    Bina.
    “
    Ohhi
    …”
    Shesmiled.“
    Hey,It
    houghtIwoul
    dcomeand
    seeyou.IsEazi
    in?”
    Heshookhi
    shead.“
    No.
    ’
    “Oh,um Ibr
    oughtt
    his.
    ”Shehandedhima
    Tupperwareandsmil
    ed.“Wearether
    eforyou
    asneighbors,
    don’
    ttr
    ykil
    l
    ingyour
    selfagai
    n.”
    Moemedilaughed.“Iwon’t
    .Iwasjustgoi
    ng
    t
    houghalotandIhav etoadmi t
    ,tr
    yingt
    okil
    l
    mysel
    fwast hedumbestt hi
    ngtodo.Itwasn’
    ta
    f
    unexper
    ience.Youst ar
    tregret
    ti
    ngassoonas
    youki
    ckt
    hechai r.
    ”
    Bi
    nal
    aughed.“
    Inev
    erwantt
    oexper
    iencei
    t.
    ”
    “
    Don’
    t.Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Eazi
    oncet
    oldmey
    oust
    udi
    edsomet
    hingt
    odo
    wi
    thmi
    ning?
    ”
    “
    Yeahbutitwasusel
    ess,Ishouldn’
    thavedone
    i
    t.Today9year
    slat
    erIhaven’tworked.
    ”
    “Isawthi
    spostonf
    acebook.
    ”Shetookouther
    phoneandshowedhimthescreenshor
    t.“
    Buti
    n
    Phikwe.
    ”
    Moemeditookhi
    ssmallphoneandcopi
    edt
    he
    numberi
    nhisphone.“
    Iwil
    lcal
    lthem.
    ”
    Binasmi
    led.“
    Orj
    ustsendanemai
    l
    .Wher
    eis
    yourCV?
    ”
    “
    Insi
    de.
    ”
    “Ok,comeoverwit
    hitandIwil
    lscaniti
    ntoa
    pdfthenwewill
    emailthem.Mamai snot
    aroundsoj
    ustcome.”
    Moemedi
    smi
    l
    ed.“
    Thanky
    ou.Letmet
    akei
    t
    now.
    ”
    Hegotbacki
    nsi
    dethehouseandputt
    he
    Tupper
    warei
    nthef
    ridgebef
    oret
    aki
    nghisCV
    f
    rom under
    neat
    hthemattr
    ess.Toget
    hert
    hey
    wal
    kedtoherhousechat
    ti
    ng.

    *
    **

    Li
    nasatinfrontofherTVlaughi
    ngattherom-
    com shewaswat chi
    ngwhileeati
    ngsnacks.Her
    phonevibr
    atedthenshereachedfori
    tand
    answered.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Hi
    Lina,
    yourfat
    herin-
    lawisjustt
    ell
    i
    ngme
    what’
    shappeni
    ng,Idon’tev
    enknowwhatt
    o
    say
    .”
    Shesatupr
    ight
    .“Hewi
    l
    lbeoutsoon.
    ”
    “Thatgi
    rli
    sfr
    ami
    nghim andIcan’
    tbeli
    eveno
    onetoldmewhatTendaiwasdoi
    ng.”
    “
    Idi
    dn’
    twantt
    ost
    ressy
    ou.
    ”
    “Li
    naIam y ourmother,aslongasy ouare
    marri
    edt omyson, Iam yourmot her.Asyour
    motheryour untomewhent hingsarefal
    li
    ng
    apart
    .Youshoul dn’
    tfeelalone.Wear et
    herefor
    you.Youcancomeandst ayov erforafewday s,
    Idon’tt
    hinkit’
    ssafetostayal oneinsuchabig
    house.”
    “
    Youdon’
    ttowor
    ryaboutme.
    ”
    “No,Iam alreadywor r
    ied.Any t
    hingcanhappen
    toyouwheny ouareallal
    one.Weshoul dget
    yousecur i
    tybutwear ecomi ngt ogetyou.I
    f
    anythi
    nghappenst oyou, Tendaiwil
    lthi
    nkwe
    neverlovedy ou.Iam sendingy ourf
    atheri
    n-l
    aw
    whil
    eIf i
    xy ourroom ok? ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Shehungupt
    henLi
    nasmi
    l
    edgoi
    ngupst
    air
    s.

    *
    **
    Takul
    ookedathi
    swif
    e.“BabeLi
    naisagrown
    woman.I
    fshefeel
    sunsafeshewi
    ll
    tel
    lus.”
    “Shewon’t,
    shepr obabl
    ythinksweareangr
    y
    thatshesuggestedtosleepwithourot
    herson
    butthat’
    snotthecase.Youneedt ocal
    lher
    securi
    tycompanyt omorrowsot heymay
    upgrade.Goandgether .
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Shekissedhischeekthenhetookhecarkeys
    andwalkedout .Awhil
    elat
    erhedroveinsi
    de
    thegatejustasLinast
    eppedoutwithan
    over
    nightbag.Shegotinthecarandlookedat
    himinnocentl
    y.
    “
    Thanky
    ouf
    ort
    aki
    ngmei
    n.”
    “
    Youar
    eal
    way
    swel
    come.
    ”
    Her
    eversedanddrov
    eof fwhi
    leshepressed
    t
    heremotegatet
    oclose.Tendai
    ’sf
    atherlooked
    athert
    hensmi
    l
    ed.
    “
    Youcanact
    .”
    Li
    nal
    aughed.“
    CanI
    ?”
    “
    Yes,
    sheshoul
    dn’
    tfi
    ndout
    .”
    Li
    nasmil
    edandt
    ouchedhi
    sdi
    ck.“
    Trustme,
    shewon’
    t.
    ”

    Mapulaclearedherthr
    oatthendi
    aledAbe’
    s
    number.Itrangforawhil
    ethenhef i
    nal
    l
    y
    answered.
    “
    Yeah?
    ”
    “
    Hey
    ,Iwentt
    othepol
    i
    cest
    ati
    onandIf
    ail
    ed.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Theysai
    dtheywoul
    dar
    restmeforl
    yi
    ngt
    o
    t
    hem.Idon’
    twantt
    ogotojai
    l
    .”
    “
    Noonewi
    l
    lar
    resty
    ou,
    theyar
    ejustbl
    uff
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Iam scar
    ed.Idon’
    twantt
    ogot
    ojai
    l
    .”
    Shehungupandsi
    ghedsi
    tt
    ing.

    *
    **

    Eazi’
    smotheropenedthedoorl
    ateint
    he
    eveni
    ngandletinaman.Shesmi l
    edashesat
    onherbedtakingoffhi
    sshoes.
    “
    Soy
    ourdaught
    ergotmar
    ri
    ed?
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    Iwasbegi
    nni
    ngt
    othi
    nkshei
    scur
    sed.
    ”
    Themangotontopofher
    .“Weshoul
    dgoand
    dosomeshoppi
    ng.
    ”
    Eazi
    ’smotherlaughed.“
    Iwantedt
    ostarta
    smallhustl
    ewiththemoney.Heonlypaid
    P6500.Itwasn’tmuchbuti
    twassomet hi
    ng.
    ”
    “Youdon’
    tneedy
    ourmoneytosponsora
    busi
    ness,t
    hegover
    nmentsponsor
    ssmall
    busi
    nesses.
    ”
    “
    Itdoes?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Shesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Thenwewi
    l
    lgoshoppi
    ng.
    ”
    “Youshoul
    dgivemeafewthousandssoIcan
    paythatmanIam owi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    Eazi
    ’
    smot
    hersmi
    l
    edwi
    l
    dly
    .

    *
    **

    Li
    nawal
    kedi
    nsidethehousewi
    thTakut
    hen
    Gi
    nawal
    kedover.
    “
    HiLi
    na…”
    “
    Mot
    her
    s.”
    “
    Come,
    yourr
    oom i
    sready
    .”
    ShewalkedawaythenLi
    naf
    oll
    owedaf
    terher
    .
    I
    nsidet
    heguestroom,Gi
    nasmil
    ed.
    “Feelwelcome,t
    hisisyourhome,youknow
    every
    thing.Youarenotavisi
    tor
    .”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Ginawalkedtoherbedroom andfoundher
    husbandalr
    eadygoingundercovers.Shet
    ook
    offhergownandjoinedhiminbed.
    Shetouchedascr
    atchonhi
    schest
    .“What
    ’s
    thi
    s?”
    “
    OhIgoti tattheshopwhereIgott
    hecarpart
    ,I
    wasn’
    tlookingproper
    lyandgotscr
    atched.
    ”
    “
    Itl
    ooksl
    i
    kesomeonescr
    atchedy
    ou.
    ”
    “Iknow.”HekissedherthenGinatouchedhis
    dick.Knowingnothavi
    ngsexwi thherwould
    l
    ooksuspi ci
    ousespeci
    allysi
    ncetheyhadn’thad
    sexintwoweeks, heki
    ssedherbackandgoton
    topofher.Hef ondl
    edherbreastpart
    ingher
    l
    egsandrubbedhisdickonher.Hepushedhi s
    di
    ckinsi
    deandsighed,herpussydidn’tdoli
    ke
    Li
    na’
    sandhef oundhimselfquest
    ioningher.He
    cl
    osedhiseyesandimaginedshewasLi na.

    TWOWEEKSLATER…
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #18

    Atthepol
    i
    cestat
    ion,Takusatwit
    hAbe
    l
    ist
    eningt
    othepoli
    ceoffi
    cerexpl
    aint
    othem.
    “Thecourtwil
    lfi
    ndthedefendantgui
    l
    tyf
    ort
    he
    chargesofrapeandassault
    ,asacountr
    ywe
    can’tj
    ustwat chsuchthingshappening,
    we
    needt ogettogetherandhelpprotectwoman.
    Youcan’trapeandassaul tyourexsidecheek
    becauseshenol ongerwant syou.Therewas
    enoughev i
    dencet ochargehim andhewas
    takentoMaunpr i
    sonwher ehewillbewait
    ing
    tri
    al.
    ”
    “
    Can’
    tyouseet
    hisgi
    rli
    sjustbi
    tt
    er?
    ”
    “Shehadmarksofassault
    ,itwashis
    fi
    ngerpr
    int
    sonher.Yoursonshouldhav
    e
    contr
    oll
    edhimsel
    fMr.Tafi
    ra.”
    “Hei
    snotgui
    l
    tyt
    il
    lpr
    oven,
    wheni
    shehi
    sbai
    l
    hear
    ing?
    ”
    “
    Wear
    est
    il
    lwai
    ti
    ngf
    oradat
    e?”
    “Oryouaretheonest
    andingi
    nt hemiddl
    eof
    thi
    ngsbecauseyouaresobit
    terabout
    somethi
    ng.”
    “
    Dad…”
    “No,
    thi
    suselesscopisdet
    ermi
    nedtopul
    lmy
    sondown.Youdon’tknowmeIsee.
    ”
    Takust
    oodupandwal
    kedoutwi
    thAbe.
    “Youcan’
    tinsul
    thi
    m becausehei
    sjustdoi
    ng
    hisj
    ob.”
    “
    Yethecan’
    tseet
    hisgi
    rli
    sjustt
    ryi
    ngt
    ofr
    ame
    myson?”
    TheygotinthecarthenAbest art
    edi
    twhilehi
    s
    fat
    hermadesev er
    al phonecall
    s.Awhil
    elater
    heparkedinfr
    ontofhi smother’
    sgat
    e.
    “
    Whyi
    sLi
    nast
    il
    lst
    ayi
    ngher
    e?”
    “Thi
    sthingwit
    hTendai
    reall
    yishav
    inganef
    fect
    onher.Sheisalway
    scry
    ing.
    ”
    “
    May
    bei
    t’
    sthepr
    egnancy
    .:
    ”
    “
    Whatpr
    egnancy
    ?”
    “Tendaisaidtheywer
    epregnant.WhatIdon’
    t
    understandishowsheispregnantwhil
    emy
    brotherisi
    nfert
    il
    e.WhenTendaiget
    ’soutwe
    aregoingforaproperexami
    nat i
    onatthe
    hospit
    al,aful
    lcheck-
    up.Iwi
    l
    l notwatchhim
    madeaf ool.HesaidheimpregnatedLina’
    s
    si
    stertoo,t
    hesetwosnakesar econniv
    ingandI
    am goingtodealwithi
    t.
    ”
    “
    Hewhat
    ?”
    “Yeah,hermot
    herbr
    oughthert
    ohel
    pher
    sist
    er.
    ”
    “Ican’
    tbeli
    evethi
    sboy!”Takust
    eppedoutof
    thecarandwalkedinsi
    dethegatewhil
    eAbe
    droveoffdi
    ali
    ngEazi.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Babe,
    arey
    oudonenow?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iam comi
    ng.Whatshoul
    dIbr
    ingy
    ou?
    ”
    “
    Not
    hing,
    Iam f
    ine.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hehungupandpassedbyasuper market
    befor
    edr i
    vi
    ngovertothehousewhereshewas.
    Hewat chedherwalkoverhol
    dingherhandbag
    thenheleanedoverandopenedthedoorforher.

    *
    **

    Meanwhi
    lemyphonerangasIappr
    oachedhis
    cart
    hengoti
    nanswer
    ing.Abel
    eanedoverand
    ki
    ssedme.
    “
    Eazi
    ,whatam Iheari
    ng?Youar
    enotst
    ayi
    ng
    wi
    thyourhusband?
    ”
    Isi
    ghed.“
    YesandIam l
    eav
    inghi
    m.”
    “Forwho?Thatrichman?Richpeopledon’t
    wantpeopleli
    key ou,
    heisgoingtoleaveyou
    afterhehasenoughofyou.That’swhatri
    ch
    peoplealway
    sdo.Theyar eneverseri
    ousabout
    uspoorpeopleandwhent heyleaveyou,t
    hey
    wil
    lleaveyoudr yandout.Youareamar ri
    ed
    woman, behavel i
    kei
    t.Youareembar r
    assing
    meoutt here.SoonMoemedi ’
    sfamilyisgoing
    toaskust ohaveameet i
    nganddiscussyour
    behavior
    .Stopembar rassi
    ngme.”
    “
    Iam st
    il
    ll
    eav
    inghi
    m!”
    IhungupasAbedr
    oveaway
    .Iopenedmy
    window.
    “
    Youwer
    esmoki
    ngi
    nher
    e?”
    Hel
    ookedatmeandsmiled.“
    Sor
    ry.If
    orgott
    o
    l
    eav
    ethewindowsopen.
    ”
    “Onedayyouar
    egoi
    ngt
    odi
    ebecauseofl
    ung
    cancer
    .”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    ltr
    ytost
    op.Let
    ’sgocol
    l
    ectMal
    c.”
    Ireachedforoneoft
    heperf
    umesIwasselli
    ng
    andspr ay
    edabittodi
    ff
    usetheni
    cot
    ine.Abe
    smiledstari
    ngatme.
    “
    Sodi
    dshel
    i
    kei
    t?”
    Inodded.“
    Shedi
    d,Iev
    endi
    dhermake-
    upf
    or
    extr
    amoney .
    ”
    “That
    ’smygi
    rl
    .”Hereachedforachocol
    ateand
    gaveitt
    ome.Ismil
    edopeningit
    .
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    Minuteslat
    erheparkedinf
    rontoft
    hepr e-
    schoolandsteppedouttogoandcollect
    Malcolm whil
    eIenj
    oyedthechocol
    ate.I
    fr
    ownedasheAbewal kedbackbutwi t
    hout
    Malcolm.
    “
    Whatdi
    dyouf
    orget
    ?”
    Hegotinthecarandlookedatme.“
    Shesai
    d
    herf
    athercol
    l
    ectedher.
    ”
    “Ican’
    tbeliev
    eMoemedi woul
    ddosomethi
    ng
    l
    ikethi
    s, hedoesn’
    tev
    enknowMalc’
    spre-
    school.Thisman…”Itookmynewphoneand
    call
    edhim.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Giv
    ememyson!
    ”
    “
    Whatar
    eyout
    alki
    ngabout
    ?”
    “
    Youtookmyson!Whywoul dyout
    akehim
    wi
    thoutmypermissi
    on,
    Iam goi
    ngtor
    eportyou
    t
    othepoli
    ce!Youmustthi
    nkIam t
    oostupi
    d.”
    “EaziIdon’
    tknowwhatyouaret al
    ki
    ngabout,I
    am inPhikweforani
    nter
    view.Icameherelast
    night
    .”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Wher
    eismyson?
    ”
    “
    Youdi
    dn’
    ttakehi
    m?”
    “
    No!
    ”
    Ihungupandl
    ookedatAbenowshaki
    ng.
    “Hedidn’
    ttakehi
    m.Abesomeonet
    ookmy
    son.
    ”
    Ist
    eppedoutandrushedinsidetheschool
    goi
    ngtohiscl
    ass.Histeacherlookedatme.
    “
    Ms-
    “
    “
    Whot
    ookmyson?
    ”
    “
    Herf
    athercameby
    .”
    “
    No…hi
    sfat
    hernev
    ercameher
    e.”
    Thet eacherlookedatmepani cking.“
    Buthis
    fat
    herl ooksli
    kehi m.”ShepointedatAbe.“He
    showedepi cturesofthem togetherand
    Malcolm, knewt hisperson.Hesai dhi
    sname
    i
    s…l etmecheck. ”Shet ookabookandnodded.
    “Hi
    snamei sTi noTaf i
    ra.Hesaidhewashi s
    fat
    herandy ouwer ehi
    suncle.Heev enshowed
    met heconv ersationyouhadwi thhim aski
    ng
    himt opickupMal colm.”
    Abechuckl edputt
    inghishandsonhi sface
    whil
    eIsi ghedwithrel
    ief
    .“Ok,ourmistake,
    we
    apologize.Iam Malc’
    sfather,
    ifany
    onecomes
    hereclaimingtobemey oushouldcallmy
    womanher eandconfirmf i
    rst
    .”
    “
    Ofcause.
    ”
    Theywal
    kedoutandgoti
    nthecar
    .Il
    ookedat
    hi
    m.
    “
    Thatwasnotni
    ce.
    ”
    Abelaughed.“
    Iforgot
    ,Iaskedhim earl
    ieront
    o
    pickMalcformebecauseIt houghtIwould
    spendsomucht imeatthepol i
    cestat
    ion.”
    “
    Nowl
    ookhei
    sst
    il
    lcal
    l
    ing!
    ”
    “
    Justt
    ell
    him wr
    ongal
    arm al
    ert
    .”
    Ianswer
    ed.“
    Hei
    sfi
    ne.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    ewashe?
    ”
    “
    Itwasj
    ustaj
    oket
    heywer
    emaki
    ngonme.
    ”
    “
    Byt
    hewayIi
    nPhi
    kwef
    oraj
    obi
    nter
    view.
    ”
    “
    Goodf
    ory
    ou.
    ”
    IhungupthenAbeleanedov
    erandki
    ssedme
    befor
    edri
    vingof
    f.
    “
    Iam sor
    ryf
    orscar
    ingy
    oul
    i
    ket
    hat
    .”
    “
    Don’
    tev
    erdot
    hatagai
    n.Ther
    eissomet
    hingI
    hav
    etot
    ell
    you.
    ”
    “
    Whati
    sit
    ?”
    Ilookeddownonmyf inger
    spickingatt
    hem.“I
    foundmeandMal colm asmallhousetoli
    vei
    n.
    Idon’tthi
    nkcont
    inuingtostaywithyouisa
    goodi dea.
    ”
    “Butyoudon’ thaveaper manentj obandy our
    rentneedstobepai d.Youj ustregist
    eredatUB
    soy ouwon’twor kasmuchasy ouwant ,
    Malcolmi sgoingtor equireal otfrom youand
    atthesamet i
    mey ouhav etokeepsav ingfor
    yourfees.Nott hatIam say ingy oucan’tdoi t
    babebutr i
    ghtnowaccor dingt omeIdon’ tthink
    i
    t’sagoodi dea.Youhav esomanyexpensesat
    themomentandi t
    ’snotlikey oudon’ thavean
    opti
    on.Iknowy oudon’ twantt owal kdownt he
    samer oadagai nbutasl ongy oucanpr ovide
    everyt
    hingfory oursel
    f,youwi llmov eout
    becauseifnott henIam goi ngt ohav etobe
    payingrentfortwohousesandi t’sexpensive
    mai
    ntai
    ningt
    wohouses.
    ”
    “
    Peopl
    earegoi
    ngtosayIam wi
    thy
    ouf
    ort
    he
    moneyandt
    hat
    -“
    “Eazi,
    canyoustopwit
    hthepeopl
    e?Wedon’t
    dot hi
    ngsforpeopl
    eher
    eandIneverwantt
    o
    hearthat
    .”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Hedr
    ovebackhomedi
    ali
    ngTi
    no.

    *
    **

    Ginawalkedi
    nsi
    deherhouseandbumpedinto
    herhusbandwal
    kingf
    rom t
    hekit
    cheneat
    ingan
    applewhil
    eLi
    nacooked.Li
    nasmil
    edstar
    ingat
    her.
    “
    Mot
    her
    …”
    “
    Hey
    ,youdi
    dn’
    thav
    etocook.
    ”
    “
    Iknowy
    ouar
    eti
    redandIwantt
    ohel
    pyou.
    ”
    Ginachuckl
    edasherhusbandki
    ssedher
    .“It
    old
    hernottooverwor
    khersel
    f.
    ”
    “Youneedtoli
    stent
    ohim.Anyway
    sbabemy
    motherisal
    mostther
    e.Pl
    easegoandpi
    ckher
    up.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    TakuwalkedoutwhileGinawentt
    oher
    bedroom.Shesatdownandnot i
    cedthethong
    onthebed.Shepickeditupandchuckl
    ed.
    “Takubat hong.”Shest retchedit
    ,itlookedsmal l
    onherbutt hent hiswasherhusband, always
    buyingthewr ongsi zes.Shest r
    etchedi tto
    l
    oosent heel asti
    cthenf inall
    yundr essedand
    putont hethong.Shechuckl edst ari
    ngat
    herselfonthemi rror,t
    hepant ywassmal l
    and
    tootightbutitwaswhathewant ed, shewoul d
    weari tf
    orhim.
    *
    **

    Lonaspacedupanddownherhouse, t
    he
    l
    andlor
    dhadcalledheragainandthi
    stimeshe
    wasgoingtobeev i
    cted.Shehadbeenavoi
    ding
    cal
    li
    ngTendai’
    sbrotherthi
    nki
    ngmay bebynow
    Tendaiwoul
    dbeout .Shetookherphoneand
    cal
    ledhim.
    “
    Abe’
    sphonehel
    l
    o?”
    Thefemalevoi
    cepickedthenherhear
    tst
    art
    ed
    poundi
    ng.“Hi
    ,canIspeaktoAbe.”
    “
    Hei
    snother
    ewi
    thme,
    Icant
    akeamessage.
    ”
    “Tell
    himit’
    sLonas,Li
    na’
    ssi
    sterandTendai
    saidIshoul
    dcallhi
    m.”
    “
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    l.
    ”
    Shehungupt henlookedaroundthehouse.She
    coul
    dsell
    t heproper
    tyandraisemoneyfora
    busi
    nessideabutnowt hatshewaspregnant
    shewonder
    edhowshewasgoi ngt
    omanage.
    Herphoner
    angthenshepi
    cked.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Youar
    eLonas?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Lonashowsur
    ear
    eyout
    haty
    ouar
    e
    pregnant
    ?”
    “
    Iam sur
    e.”
    “Sowho’
    sbabyi
    sthatbecausemybr
    othercan’
    t
    haveki
    ds.
    ”
    “Yourbrot
    herbr
    okemyv
    irgi
    nit
    y.Ihadnev
    erhad
    sextil
    lImethi
    m!”
    “
    Fory
    oursakeIhopey
    ouar
    eri
    ght
    .”
    “
    Ineedr
    entmoney
    ,Ineedf
    oodandel
    ect
    ri
    cit
    y.”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lseewhatt
    odo.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hehungupt
    henshesi
    ghedwi
    thr
    eli
    ef.
    *
    **

    Il
    ookedathi
    m.“
    Youwi
    l
    lseewhatt
    odo?You
    wi
    llhel
    pher?
    ”
    “Notwi
    thmymoney
    ,wi
    thTendai
    ’
    sbecausehe
    i
    stheonewhowant
    edt
    ohav eal
    otofsi
    de
    chi
    cks.
    ”
    “I
    sn’thepayi
    ngt hel
    awyer
    ?Andal soit
    ’shi
    s
    moneymai nt
    aininghi
    swife.Youthi
    nkshewill
    agreetousethesamemoneyt osupportt
    he
    womanwhosl eptwit
    hherman? ”
    “
    No.
    ”
    “
    Yourbrotherknewallt
    hatwhenhet
    oldt
    his
    womant ocallyou.Hedi
    dn’
    tmeanusi
    nghis
    money.
    ”
    “
    Ican’
    tsuppor
    tLonas,
    Icanonlygiv
    eher
    moneyforf
    oodandasforrentshewil
    lhav
    eto
    makeapl
    an.Shest
    aysi
    nPhakal
    ane.
    ”
    “
    Wow!
    ”
    “Shewil
    lhavetomov eoutandgobackto
    Ghanziti
    l
    lthebabyisborn,
    hermotherwi
    llt
    ake
    careofherint
    hemeant i
    met i
    l
    lshegiv
    esbir
    th.I
    canonlysuppor
    tthebabynotthemother
    .I
    havemyownexpensest oo.”
    “Youhav
    etoexplainthattohi
    mthoughIam
    surehewil
    lunder
    stand.”
    Malcol
    m bursti
    nthebedr
    oom andl
    ookedatus.
    “
    Ithasstar
    ted.”
    “
    Myshow?
    ”
    Mal
    colm shookhi
    sheadandsmi
    l
    edatAbe.
    “
    Ourshow.”
    “
    No,
    todayi
    t’
    smyt
    urn,
    Ial
    sowantt
    owat
    chTV.
    ”
    Igotoffbedandwalkedtothesi
    tt
    ingroom
    thenchangedthechannel
    .Abewalkedover
    withMalcol
    m.
    “
    Butbabet
    hishasar
    epeat
    .”
    “
    Iwantt
    owat
    chi
    tnow.
    ”
    Abesighedandl
    ookedatMal
    col
    m.“
    She
    ref
    used.”
    “
    Mamaweneedt
    owat
    chshowand-
    “
    “No!Iam watchi
    ng,
    ifyoudon’twanttowat
    ch
    goandsleep.Ompuel asekgoammekegoneo
    ntseobonaTV, (
    Youar espeaki
    ngtomein
    Engli
    shthoughyourecentl
    ystar
    tedknowi
    ngTV)
    youneverKnewTV.”
    Abel
    aughed.“
    Don’
    tsayt
    hatt
    omyson.
    ”
    “No,
    thispersongrewupwit
    houtTV,ebi
    le
    gompienohehasashowt owatch,wOnders
    shal
    lneverend!”
    “Well
    nowhecangrowupwithit
    .Champ,we
    havenochoi
    cebutt
    ojustwat
    chwithher
    .”
    Theysatdownt henAbepulledmeclosert
    o
    hi
    m.Thei nt
    ercom rang.Abegotupand
    pressedthegateremotewalki
    ngoutsi
    de.Acar
    droveinthenawomanst eppedoutwhil
    ethe
    cabdr i
    vertookbagsf
    rom theboot
    .Ayasmil
    ed
    andwal kedover.
    “Heybabe…sur
    prise!Iknowy
    oumi
    ssedmebut
    Imissedyoumore.”
    Shocked,Aberemainedsti
    l
    lstari
    ngathert
    hen
    shehuggedhimt i
    ghtl
    y.Iwalkedoutandl
    ooked
    atthewhitewoman.Shesteppedbackand
    smiledatme.
    “Hi…y oumustbehissi
    ster
    .Iam Ay
    a,hi
    sfi
    ancé,
    pleasuremeeti
    ngyou.”
    Il
    ookedatAbest
    andi
    ngst
    il
    lthenatAy
    a.
    “
    Abewhat
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe
    #19

    AbeglaredatAyawhileshesmil
    edexcitedl
    y
    standi
    ngbesideherbags.Mal
    colm walkedout
    andlookedatthewhit
    eladycur
    iously
    .
    Ayal
    ookedatmewhi l
    eIst
    aredatt
    hegl
    i
    tter
    ing
    ri
    ngonherf
    inger
    .“I
    sthaty
    ourson?”
    “Mal
    col
    m getbacki
    nsi
    det
    hehouse,
    youcan
    puty
    ourshow.”
    Malcolm smil
    edandrushedbacki
    nsi
    det
    he
    house.Itookadeepbreath.
    “Abewhat’
    sgoi
    ngon?I
    sthi
    sher
    ?Theot
    her
    person?
    ”
    Ayastoppedsmi
    l
    ingandl
    ookedatmet
    henat
    Abe.
    “
    Shei
    snoty
    oursi
    steri
    sshe?
    ”
    Hefacedme.“Ibr
    okeupwithherbef
    oreIcame
    her
    e,thi
    sisher
    ,It
    oldyou.
    ”
    “
    Thenwhatisshedoingher
    eify
    oubrokeup
    wi
    thher
    ?Youdi dn’
    ttel
    lmeyouwant
    edt o
    marr
    yher.
    ”
    “
    Becausei
    twasint
    hepast
    ,Ial
    sodon’
    tknow
    whatshei
    sdoi
    nghere.
    ”
    Il
    ookedbackatAyawhost
    il
    lst
    ari
    ngatus
    sl
    i
    ghtlyconf
    used.
    “
    Abewhat
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “Youtel
    lmewhat
    ’sgoi
    ngon,
    whatar
    eyou
    doingher
    e?”
    “
    Ithoughty
    ouwoul
    dbehappyt
    oseeme.
    ”
    “ImovedonandIdon’
    tappr
    eciat
    eyoucomi ng
    unannouncedt
    omyhouse.Ihaven’
    tspokento
    youinoveramont
    h.”
    “Look,
    IknowImessedup.Iwaswrongbut
    babeIwantyou,
    Iam choosi
    ngyou.Canwefi
    x
    t
    hings?
    ”
    It
    urnedandwal kedbacki nsi
    det hehouse.
    Tear
    sf il
    l
    edmyey esbutIbli
    nkedt hem away,
    I
    wasn’tgoingt
    ocr ythi
    stimear ound.Iwas
    si
    mplygoi ngt
    ot akethedisappointmentli
    kea
    bi
    ggirl.Myphoner angthenIpicked.
    “
    Ont
    la…”
    “
    Mrs.Abe.
    ”
    “
    Iwantt
    omov
    eoutofhi
    shouse.
    ”
    “Whichi
    sagoodi dea,
    Iheardamanwould
    nevermarr
    yyouifyoualr
    eadybehav
    eli
    kehis
    wif
    e.Butyoudon’
    thaveaj ob.
    ”
    “Iknow,Ir
    egi
    steredatUB.Iwanttogobackt
    o
    schoolbuti
    fIdoIwon’tbeabletoworkas
    muchasIwant .Ithi
    nkIshoul
    dwaitfi
    rst
    .”
    “
    Anddowhat
    ?Get
    ti
    ngadegr
    eei
    simpor
    tant
    .”
    “
    Thereisnoguarant
    eethatIwil
    lgetajobOntl
    a.
    Alotofpeopl
    ehavedegreesoutther
    ebutthey
    arenotwor
    king!Iwanttost
    artabusi
    ness,
    rememberhowIusedt omakethosedri
    nks
    whenwewer eyoung?”
    “Yeah,Iremember,t
    hosealwaystast
    edniceor
    may beitwasbecausewenev erhadany
    thingt
    o
    dri
    nkexpectfrom water
    .”
    “Iwanttomaket hedr i
    nks.Iwil
    lsellatbusr ank,
    Ihaveseenpeopl esell
    ingthei
    rthingsthere.I
    am goingt otakethemoneyIwasgoi ngtouse
    forthefeesandmakei tmyst artupcapi t
    al.I
    havetot hinkformysonbecausenoonei s
    goingtot hinkforhimifIdon’t
    .Iam st i
    l
    l
    annull
    ingmymar r
    iage.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    ethi
    sEazi
    .Myor
    igi
    nal
    Eazi
    .”
    Il
    aughed.“
    OnedayIwi
    l
    lbel
    i
    keOpr
    ahWi
    nfr
    ey.
    ”
    Ont
    lal
    aughed.“
    Yeah!Wher
    eisAbe?
    ”
    “
    Tal
    ki
    ngwi
    thhi
    swhi
    tef
    iancé.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “Shejustcamenow.Ican’
    tcompar
    etoherand
    Iam notevengoi
    ngtotryt
    o.Hesayst
    hey
    brokeupbut-“
    “
    Canyouwai
    tforhi
    mtoexpl
    ainhi
    msel
    fbef
    ore
    y
    oucometoanyconcl
    usi
    on?
    ”
    “
    Somet
    hingdoesn’
    tfeel
    rightabouthi
    m,hei
    s
    t
    ooper
    fect
    .”
    “Hi
    mt r
    eat
    ingy ouri
    ghtdoesn’ tmakehim
    perfect
    .Heishumanaf t
    erall.Pleasehearhi
    m
    out.Iknowy ouareintheprocessofwal king
    outofashi t
    tyrel
    ati
    onshipbutdon’ tpai
    nthim
    wit
    ht hesamebr ush.Notev erymani sli
    ke
    Moemedi ,don’
    tpushhi m away .
    ”
    ThedooropenedandAbewal
    kedi
    n.
    “
    Ont
    laIwi
    l
    lcal
    lyou.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Ihungupthenhewal
    kedoverandsatbesi
    de
    me.“Idi
    dn’
    tknowshewascoming,Il
    ongbroke
    upwit
    hherandIhadacceptedthat
    .Il
    oveyou,
    pl
    easedon’
    tlett
    hisdoubtmylovef
    oryou.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    eisshe?
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tknow,
    Idon’
    tcar
    e.I
    t’
    snotmybusi
    ness.
    ”
    “Abewheny oufeelyoudon’twantmeany more,
    pleasetellmeandl etmemov eon.Iam ti
    red,I
    havenof ightlef
    tinme.Mysoni smypr i
    orit
    y
    ri
    ghtnow, heonl yhasmesodon’ tt
    earme
    down.Justl etmegowheny oufeeli
    t’
    sno
    l
    ongerwor ki
    ng,gael egor
    emmaboot si
    lenka
    mosut ela.”
    “Mmaboot engandkemol
    ebi
    l
    emomat
    long.O
    buaengbabe?”
    “Iam notgoi
    ngt
    ofi
    ghtwhi
    tegi
    rl
    swi
    thl
    ong
    hair
    .”
    “
    Ilov
    ey ou,youdon’
    thav
    etof
    ightwi
    thany
    one
    f
    oryourplace.
    ”
    Heki
    ssedmesqueezi
    ngmybr
    eastt
    hent
    ook
    offmyt-
    shi
    rtandpushedmedowngett
    ingon
    topofme.Hepull
    edoutmyt i
    ght
    sandpant
    ies
    andcar
    essedmyst omach.
    “
    Doy
    out
    rustme?
    ”
    “
    Whati
    sit
    ?”
    “
    Doy
    out
    rustme?
    ”
    “
    Abe-
    “
    “
    Iwantachi
    l
    d.”
    “
    Wej
    ustmet
    .”
    “No,
    wemett i
    mebackandy ouhavebusy
    deny
    ingwhatwehave.Iam gr
    owingol
    d,Iwant
    achi
    ld.
    ”
    “AbeIam st
    ruggli
    ngwit
    hMal
    col
    m,Ican’
    t
    aff
    ordababyrightnow.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    ltakecar
    eofy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Iwantt
    otakecar
    eofmy
    sel
    f.
    ”
    “
    Cany
    ouatl
    eastt
    hinkabouti
    t?”
    Ilookedi nhi sey esandnoddedt henhet ookoff
    hist -
    shirtandki ssedmewhi l
    eItookouthi s
    dickf r
    om hi ssweat pants.Hetookhisdi ckand
    rani tovermypussyl ipsthengentlypushed
    i
    nsi deme, sli
    dingi ntil
    lhisenti
    redickwas
    burieddeepi nsideme.Hel eanedov erand
    kissedmet hrustingintomeatacont roll
    ed
    pace.Imoanedsof tlymov i
    ngmywai st.From
    thesi t
    ti
    ngr oom, Mal col
    m screamedf orAbe
    maki ngmepause.
    “
    Abe,
    didy
    oul
    ock?
    ”
    Hegr
    unt
    edt
    hrust
    ingdeeperi
    ntome.
    Malcolm scr
    eamedagai
    n,t
    histi
    mehisvoi
    ce
    getti
    nglouder
    .“Abehei
    scoming,y
    ouneedto
    stop.
    ”
    “
    Fuck!
    ”
    Malcolm bur
    sti
    ntot
    her
    oom andpaused
    st
    aringatuswhil
    eAbef
    rozeontopofme.
    “
    Mal
    c,go,
    hei
    scomi
    ng.
    ”
    Heslowlyt
    urnedandwal
    kedoutl
    eav
    ingt
    he
    dooropen.
    Anelookedatmeandwhi
    sper
    ed.“
    Doeshe
    know?”
    “
    No!Inev
    erhav
    esexi
    nfr
    ontofhi
    m.Getof
    f
    me.
    ”
    Abesli
    doutandf
    orcedhi
    shar
    ddi
    cki
    nsi
    dehi
    s
    pant
    s.
    “
    Goandt
    alkt
    ohi
    m.”
    “
    Andsaywhat
    ?”
    “Idon’
    tknow,youar
    etheonewhodidn’
    tlock
    thedooryety
    ouknowt her
    eisachi
    l
    dinthis
    house.
    ”
    Hel
    ookedathi
    sbonert
    henbackatmeand
    wal
    kedout
    .

    *
    **
    Abesatbesi
    desMal
    col
    m andsmi
    l
    ed.
    “
    Whaty
    ousaw…”
    “
    Ist
    hathowpeopl
    epl
    ay?
    ”
    “Uhhyes.Grownupspl aylikethat.Whenyou
    growolderli
    keme, youwi l
    lfi
    ndawomanwho
    youwil
    lloveli
    keIlovey ourmom.Ani cegi
    rl
    andyouwi l
    ltr
    eathernicely.Youwon’ tber
    ude
    toherorsaymeant hings.Youwi l
    lonl
    ysaynice
    thi
    ngsanddoni cethingsforher .Youwon’t
    makehercr y,
    youwi l
    lonlymakehersmi l
    eand
    youwil
    l pl
    ayli
    kethatbecausey ouloveher
    .”
    “
    Ican’
    tpl
    ayl
    i
    ket
    hatnow?
    ”
    “No!Rightnowit’
    swrong.I
    t’
    sbad.Ki
    dsdon’
    t
    playl
    ikethat.I
    t’
    sforgr
    ownups.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Good.Don’
    tdoi
    tti
    l
    lyouar
    ebi
    gli
    keme.
    ”
    “
    Ok!Youmi
    ssedt
    heshow,
    it’
    snowf
    ini
    shed.
    ”
    “Andit’
    sti
    metosl
    eep.Tomorr
    owi t
    ’sschool
    .”
    Abet i
    ckl
    edhi
    m maki
    nghimlaugh.“Youneedto
    sleep.
    ”
    “
    Okok!
    ”
    Hepi
    ckedMalcol
    m upandhel
    dhimli
    ket
    hey
    di
    donwrest
    li
    ngwal ki
    ngt
    ohisroom.

    *
    **

    Atahotel
    ,Ay
    astar
    edatherl
    apt
    opt
    alki
    ngt
    o
    herf
    ri
    endthr
    oughSky
    pe.
    “
    Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evey
    ouwentt
    her
    e.”
    “Met oo.Ican’tbeli
    eveIqui tmyjob,lef
    tmyli
    fe
    tofoll
    owaf teraman, somet hi
    ngthatIswor
    eto
    neverdo.Icamesof ar,Isurvi
    vedalotAmanda
    Ijustgaveitallup,j
    ustl i
    kethat,t
    hat’
    swhyI
    neverwant edtof al
    li
    nl ove.”
    “
    Lov
    eisi
    nver
    ti
    ble,
    youcan’
    tav
    oidi
    t.
    ”
    “Hei
    snothappytoseeme,hemovedonand
    nowIlookst
    upi
    dandpregnantAmanda.
    ”
    “
    Youshoul
    dtel
    lhi
    m.”
    “
    Hesaidhelovesthi
    swoman,
    Idon’
    twantt
    o
    l
    ookdesper
    ate.”
    “Fi
    rstofal
    l,t
    her
    eisnothi
    ngdesperateabout
    tel
    li
    ngthatmanabouthischil
    d.Youaretheone
    whosaidhewasal way
    st al
    ki
    ngabouthav i
    nga
    chil
    d.Areyougoi
    ngtolosehimt osome
    random womanwhom hebar el
    yknows?”
    “
    Amanda…”
    “
    Don’
    tbeaweakli
    ng,
    youarealr
    eadythereand
    y
    oubett
    erf
    ightf
    orhi
    m.Ifnotshewil
    ltakehim.
    ”
    Ay
    asmi
    l
    ed.“
    Youar
    eri
    ght
    .”
    “
    Iam.Heneedst
    oknowandy
    ouneedt
    oget
    y
    ourman.
    ”
    “
    Thatwomani
    snotev
    ent
    hatpr
    ett
    y.”
    “
    Exact
    ly,
    damngi
    rly
    ouhav
    eanent
    ir
    eIndi
    an
    motherandyoutookhergenes,
    looki
    nglike
    Pr
    iyankaChopr
    a,getyourman.Wewi l
    ltalk.
    ”
    “
    Byeandt
    hanks.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    ewel
    come.
    ”
    AyastoppedtheSky peandgotup.Shelooked
    atherbeaut
    ifulfaceonthemirr
    or,t
    omorrow
    shewouldgobackagai nandtellhi
    m.She
    coul
    dn’tcar
    el essabouttheot
    herwoman.

    *
    **

    Moemedi satonthebedt hinkingoftheor al


    i
    nter
    v i
    ewhehadhad.Themanwhoi nterv
    iewed
    hi
    ml ookedabitannoyedont hefactthathe
    waslateeventhoughhet ri
    edexpl ai
    ningthathe
    hadwenttoPhikwef i
    rstthi
    nki ngtheinter
    v i
    ew
    wastherewhenr at
    heritwasi nMor upulaMi ne.
    Thestoryhadbeentool ong,theoldmanhadn’ t
    botheredli
    steni
    ngtoital
    l andmaybeitwas
    becauseMoemedi hadbeensweatingvi
    sibl
    y
    shaking.Thequesti
    onsaskedwer esotri
    cky.
    Heclosedhi seyesknowingifEaziwaswith
    hi
    m, shewoul dknowwhatt osay.
    Hi
    sphoner
    angt
    henheanswer
    ed.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hey
    ,howdi
    ditgo?
    ”
    “
    ItwentokIguess.
    ”
    “Iam sosorr
    yforhavi
    ngmyr esear
    chmi xedup,
    Idon’
    tevenknowwhyIsai dSelebi
    -Phi
    wewhen
    theminetherei
    sclosed.
    ”
    “It
    ’sf
    ine,
    youhavebeensomuchhelp,Idon’
    t
    knowhowIdi dbutwhat
    evercomesout,Iam
    readytoaccepti
    t.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iam pr
    ayi
    ngf
    ory
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.Thanky
    ousomuch.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    ewel
    come,
    bye.
    ”
    HehungupandsentEazi
    alongmessage.

    *
    **

    Inthesameeveni
    ng,Ginaturnedt
    ohugher
    husbandinhersl
    eepthensighedt
    ouchi
    ngt
    he
    emptyspacebesi
    deher .
    “
    Taku…?
    ”
    Shef ellasl
    eepbutopenedherey esmi nutes
    l
    atert ouchingt hespacebesi deheragai n,he
    wasn’ tthereandherey eswer esoheav yli
    kea
    heavyf ogwassi tt
    ingonher .Shesl owlysatup
    ri
    ghtandswi tchedonherbedsi del amp.Feeling
    sot i
    redanddr owsy ,
    shesl owlygotof fbedand
    staggeredoutwonder i
    ngwher eherhusband
    was.Wi thherhandsont hewal l,sheslowly
    mov edwonder ingwhyshef eltsot i
    red.Itwas
    asifshehaddr ankasedat iv
    ey etshehadn’t.
    Shewal kedtoherdaught eri
    n-law’sdoort o
    checkuponhert henf r
    ownedatt hesounds
    comingfrom insi
    de.Shesl owlyopenedt he
    doorandwal kedinalmostt ri
    ppingonherweak
    l
    egs.Hermout hi
    mmedi atelywentdr yasshe
    l
    ookedatherdaught erin-
    lawr idingherown
    husband.Sheknewt hatmanev enwithhereyes
    openandt hatvoi
    ce…t hatv oi
    cewas.
    “Taku!”Sheputherhandov erherchestatthe
    sharppai nthatsl
    ammedherchest .Shegrunted
    asthepai ngotextremet il
    lshefel
    tasifshe
    wassuf focati
    ng.Shel ookedathim dr
    essing
    thenmel tedtothefloorwithhereyesclosed.
    Panicking,Takurushedov ertoherandtouched
    her.Li
    nal ookedathim.
    “
    Isshedead?
    ”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe
    #20

    Takupickedhiswifeandhurr
    iedwithherout .
    Li
    nacal mlygotoutofbedandputonher
    ni
    ghtdress,cl
    earl
    ythesedat
    ivewasn’tworking
    i
    t’
    spurpose.Takur anbacki
    nsidethehouse.
    Li
    natookadeepbr eat
    handstart
    edbr eat
    hing
    heavi
    ly
    .
    “
    Issheok?
    ”
    “
    Iam t
    aki
    nghert
    othehospi
    tal
    .”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Takuwentt ohisbedroom wherehecameback
    withhi
    scarkey sanddroveof fl
    eavi
    ngLina
    standi
    nginthesitt
    ingroom.Sheclosedand
    l
    ockedt hedoorthenwalkedtothekitchenand
    pouredhersel
    faglassofwi ne.Wit
    htheway
    Tendaihurthershewasn’tgoingtostoptil
    lhe
    al
    sofel
    thowshefelt
    ,sl
    appingherinfrontof
    hi
    ssidechi
    ck,
    whodidhet hinkhewas?Li na
    wal
    kedbacktotheguestr
    oom sippingonher
    wi
    ne.

    *
    **

    Thefoll
    owingmor ni
    ng, Lonaswatchedasthe
    l
    andlor
    dhadpeopl emov eoutherstaf
    f.The
    nei
    ghborswer enowst ari
    ng,shetookherphone
    andtri
    edcall
    ingAbeagai n.Hisphonerang
    unansweredforawhile.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi,
    it’
    sLonas.
    ”
    “
    Ohhi
    ,
    ”
    “Canyoupl
    easecomeandpaymyr ent?The
    l
    andlor
    dismovingmeoutandIdon’teven
    knowwhattodo.”
    “Idon’thav eaccesstoTendai ’
    sbankcards,
    theyar eallwit
    hhiswi f
    e.Ican’tpayyourrent
    ,I
    hav emyexpensest oo,t
    osav ey our
    sel
    fthe
    stress,justgobackt oyourmot her,
    sel
    lortake
    thepr opertywit
    hy ou,whateverworksbut
    Gabor onel i
    fei
    sex pensi
    ve.”
    “
    Linai
    sgoi
    ngt
    oref
    use.
    ”
    “Thenyouhavetogoback,Icanonlysuppor
    t
    withthebabyonl
    ywit
    halimitedamount
    becauseyouandyoursi
    sterarest
    il
    lgoingto
    explai
    ntomehowy ougotpregnant.
    ”
    Thecallcutduetoinsuffi
    cientf
    unds.She
    tear
    ful
    lycoveredherface.Thelandl
    ordwalked
    over.
    “
    Iwanty
    ourst
    affgonebyt
    heendoft
    heday
    .”
    Lonasnoddedandwal
    kedtohercarwher
    eshe
    sattr
    yingt
    ocomeupwithaplan.
    *
    **

    Abequi
    ckl
    ydr
    essedt
    alki
    ngt
    othephone.
    “
    Ok,
    Iam comi
    ng.
    ”
    Il
    ookedathi
    m.“
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “
    Mymot
    herhadahear
    tat
    tacky
    est
    erday
    .”
    “
    Issheok?
    ”
    “Iam notsur
    e,Iam goi
    ngtot
    hehospi
    tal
    ,Iwil
    l
    askTinotocomeandt akeMal
    ctoschool
    .”
    “
    Ok,
    pleasecal
    lmewheny
    ouknowsomet
    hing.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hewal kedoutwhilesatupr i
    ghtworri
    edly
    .I
    l
    ookedatAbe’ slaptopt henwalkedovert
    oit
    andopenedi t
    .Ilookedatt heti
    meandst art
    ed
    ty
    pingmybusi nesspl an.Overanhourlet
    terof
    undist
    urbedtypi
    ngIsav edthedocumentand
    puthislapt
    opdownt hencalledhim.Hisphone
    rangunanswered,Isi
    ghedgett
    ingmorewor ri
    ed
    andpreparedMalcolmforschool
    .Ti
    nowal ked
    i
    nsidethehousejustasMalcolmfi
    nished
    eati
    ng.
    “
    Heyson!
    ”
    Mal
    colmlaughedandfi
    stbumpedwit
    hTi
    no
    whofi
    nal
    l
    yl ookedatmewithasmi
    le.
    “
    HiEazi
    …”
    “
    Hi,
    thanky
    ouf
    orcomi
    ngt
    opi
    ckhi
    m up.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok.
    ”
    IgaveMalcol
    m hi
    sbagt
    henher
    ushedoutt
    o
    Tino’
    scar
    .
    “
    Uhhowi
    sGi
    na?
    ”
    “
    Iam notsur
    ewhat
    ’sgoi
    ngony
    et.
    ”
    “
    Iam wor
    ri
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Howaboutwegotogetheranddr
    opoff
    Mal
    col
    mthenaf
    terthatwegot ot
    hehospi
    tal
    .
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    butIhav
    en’
    tbat
    hed.
    ”
    Ti
    nosmi
    l
    ed.“
    Ihav
    en’
    ttoo,
    Iwi
    l
    lwai
    tfory
    ou.
    ”
    Irushedbackinsidethehouseandt ookaqui
    ck
    showerthenwal kedoutinadressandpushin’
    s.
    IgotinthecarthenTi noi
    mmedi at
    elydrov
    eoff
    .
    Minuteslat
    erhepar kedinfr
    ontofthepre-
    school’
    sgate.
    “
    Byeboy
    !”
    “
    Byeuncl
    eT,
    byemama.
    ”
    Iwav edathim asTi noopenedthedoorforhim.
    Histeacherwalkedov erandsmi ledwi
    thTino,
    morel i
    keblushingbef or
    ehewal kedbackand
    sett
    ledinthecar .Shewav edatmeandIsl owly
    wavedbackasTi nodr oveoff
    .
    Ti
    nosmi
    l
    edatme.“
    Wow!Yourdr
    essi
    sinsi
    de
    out
    .”
    Il
    ookedatmydr
    essandgasped.“
    OhmyGod!
    ”
    Ti
    nol
    aughed.“
    Weal
    lhav
    ebeent
    her
    e.”
    “Whydi
    dn’
    tyout
    ell
    mewhenIwasst
    il
    lat
    home?”
    “Idi
    dn’tseei
    t.Youwi
    l
    lfi
    xitwhenwer
    eacht
    he
    hospit
    al.
    ”
    HepassedbyKFCandgotami
    l
    kshaket
    hen
    handedi
    ttome.
    “
    Thanks…”
    “
    Iam doi
    ngi
    tbecausemybr
    otherl
    ovesy
    ou.
    ”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Hedrovest r
    aighttothepri
    v atehospi
    tal
    from
    ther
    ewhi l
    eIsippedt hemilkshake.Wewal ked
    towardstheentrancewherewebumpedi nto
    Abewal ki
    ngoutwi thhisphonei nhi
    shands.He
    smil
    edandhuggedme.
    “
    Iwasaboutt
    ocal
    lyou.
    ”
    “
    Howi
    sshe?
    ”
    “Thedoctorsuspect
    sastr
    oke,
    shesuf
    fer
    eda
    heartat
    tacklastni
    ght.
    ”
    Ti
    nof
    rowned.“
    Outf
    rom nowher
    e?”
    “
    Dadsayshewokeupt
    ohergaspi
    nggr
    abbi
    ng
    t
    hesheet
    s.”
    “
    Seemsl i
    keit,hei
    ssowor r
    ied,hewon’tl
    eave
    t
    hehospital
    .”Abelookedatthestr
    awberr
    y
    mil
    kshakeinmyhandst henturnedbacktoTi
    no.
    “
    Youboughthert
    hat
    ?”
    “
    Yes,
    shedi
    dn’
    teat
    .”
    Hesl
    owlynoddedthenhandedmet hecarkeys.
    “
    Youcanwaitformeinthecarbabe,ri
    ghtnow
    t
    heyarenotl
    ett
    inganyoneseeher.Thecaris
    t
    her
    e…”Hepointed.
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    It
    urnedandwal
    kedt
    othecar
    .

    *
    **
    Abel
    ookedatTi
    no.
    “Iam goi
    ngtotakesomechangi
    ngclothesf
    or
    dadathishouse.HisBPi
    supsot heyareal
    so
    keepi
    nghim here.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    lgoandseehi
    m.”
    “
    Andnextti
    me, don’
    tbuymywomanany
    thi
    ng,
    t
    hat
    ’smyjob.”
    Tinolaughedstar
    ingathi
    sbr
    other
    .“Ar
    eyou
    seri
    ousr i
    ghtnow?”
    “
    Eazi
    isnoty
    ourr
    esponsi
    bil
    i
    ty.
    ”
    “
    Manr el
    ax,Idon’
    twanty
    ourgi
    rl
    fr
    iend.Ij
    ust
    t
    houghtshewashungryorsomet
    hing.”
    “Inev
    ersaidyouwantedher,Ij
    ustdon’twant
    youoranyoneelsebuyinghert
    hingswhenIcan
    domyj obproperl
    y.I
    t’
    snotyourplace.
    ”
    Ti
    nosi
    ghed.“
    Ok,
    Iunder
    stand.
    ”
    Abel
    ookedatTi
    nof
    orawhi
    l
    e.“
    Good.
    ”
    Het
    urnedandwal
    kedt
    ohi
    scar
    .
    “Wear
    egoingt
    ocol
    l
    ectmyf
    ather
    ’scl
    othesat
    hi
    shouse.
    ”
    “
    Whatwer
    eyousay
    ingt
    oTi
    no?
    ”
    “
    Justanupdat
    e.”
    “
    Itseemed…i
    ntense.
    ”
    “Becausei
    tis.
    ”Hel ookedatt
    hemi l
    kshake
    againandstar
    tedthecarthendroveoff
    .I
    l
    ookedatmymi l
    kshakethenathim.
    “
    What
    ’swr
    ong?Youseem annoy
    ed.
    ”
    “Iam justworri
    ed.Noonesuf f
    erssuchahear
    t
    attackfrom nowhere.Somet hi
    ngmusthave
    happened, somethi
    ngt hatshockedher.
    ”
    “Ory ouar
    ejustovert
    hinki
    ng.Peopl
    ehav
    e
    attacksever
    ydayandnotnecessari
    l
    ymeani
    ng
    theysawsomet hi
    ng.”
    “
    Shehasnev
    erhadonebef
    ore.
    ”
    “
    Iam sur
    ethathappenst
    oo.
    ”
    “
    Yourdr
    essi
    sinsi
    deout
    .”
    Il
    aughedputti
    ngthemilkshakedown.“Iwasi
    n
    ahurrywhenIlef
    thome, Idi
    dn’tev
    enreali
    zei
    t
    ti
    l
    lTinopoint
    editout
    .”
    Abetouchedmythi
    gh,awhi
    l
    elat
    erhedr
    ove
    i
    nsi
    det heopengat
    e.
    “
    Iam comi
    ng.
    ”

    *
    **

    I
    nsidethehouse,
    Linal
    ookedatAbewal
    ki
    ng
    overandsmil
    edasheopenedthedoor
    .
    “
    Hi,
    howi
    sshe?
    ”
    Abesuspi
    ciousl
    ylookedather
    .“Shei
    sfi
    ne.
    ”
    “
    ThankGod,
    Iwassowor
    ri
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Whathappenedt
    oher
    ?”
    Linal
    ookedatAbe.“
    Iam notsure,
    Ijustsaw
    yourdadrunni
    ngoutwi
    thherthenhedr oveof
    f,
    hedidn’
    teventel
    lmeanyt
    hing.
    ”
    “Thedoct
    orsai
    dshehasasedat
    ivei
    nherbl
    ood
    str
    eam.”
    “
    Hersl
    eepi
    ngpi
    l
    ls?
    ”
    “
    Linamymot
    herdoesn’
    tdr
    inksl
    eepi
    ngpi
    l
    ls.
    ”
    “
    Shehasbeendr
    inki
    ngt
    hem l
    atel
    y.
    ”
    “Howcomemyf
    atherdoesn’
    tknowany
    thi
    ng
    abouti
    t?”
    “
    Howwoul
    dIknow?
    ”
    “Doesn’
    tthi
    sfeelf
    amili
    artoy ou?Unexplai
    nable
    eventshappeni
    nginyourpresence.Whendi d
    youturnint
    othi
    sperson?Youwer enev erl
    ike
    thi
    s.”
    “Idi
    dn’
    tdoanythi
    ngtoy ourot
    heri
    fthat
    ’swhat
    youaretr
    yingt
    osay ,
    Iloveher,
    whywouldIhur
    t
    her.WhywouldIevendrugher?Gi
    vemea
    r
    eason…whywoul
    dIdr
    ugher
    ?”
    “Idon’
    tknowbutIam goi ngtogettothe
    bottom ofthis.Youthi
    nky ouar
    esmar tandyou
    seem relaxed.Iam goingtoputyouinyour
    place,
    it’
    sonl yamat t
    eroftime.
    ”
    Abewal
    kedtohisparent’
    sbedroom andcame
    backmi
    nutesl
    aterholdi
    nghisfather
    ’scl
    othes
    andwal
    kedout.Herphonerang.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Heybabe…”
    Linasmil
    ed.“
    Tendai
    …Ihear
    dtheymov
    edy
    ou
    topri
    son.
    ”
    “Yeahbutmyf
    atheri
    swor
    kingoni
    t,Iwi
    l
    lbeout
    soon.”
    “
    ThankGod,
    Imi
    ssy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Imi
    ssy
    out
    oo.Ther
    eissomet
    hingIhav
    etot
    ell
    y
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Whati
    sit
    ?”
    “
    I…Lonasi
    spr
    egnant
    .”
    “
    What
    ?Shet
    oldy
    ou?Wow!
    ”
    “
    Yesshet
    oldmebecauseIam r
    esponsi
    ble.
    ”
    Li
    napaused.“
    Youar
    ewhat
    ?”
    “
    Thepr
    egnancyi
    smi
    ne.
    ”
    Li
    nachuckl
    ed.“
    Stopj
    oki
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Shei
    spr
    egnant
    .”
    Tearsf
    il
    ledherey
    es.‘
    Tendai
    yousl
    eptwi
    th
    her?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Andyouhav
    ebeensl
    eepi
    ngwi
    thher
    ,Iknow
    y
    ouhave.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    rybabebutt
    hebabyi
    sher
    e.”
    “Thebabyisnothere.Youarenothavi
    ngababy
    withmysisterTendai
    .That
    ’snotgoingto
    happen.
    ”
    “
    Lina…”
    “
    Youhav ehur
    tmeandyouar
    egoi
    ngt
    opayf
    or
    i
    t,Ihopeyour
    ott
    her
    e.”
    Shehungupandwi
    pedawayhert
    ear
    sthen
    cal
    ledLonas.
    “
    Hey
    ,canwet
    alk?
    ”
    “
    Iam goi
    ngbackhomet
    oday
    .”
    “
    Weneedt
    otal
    k,may
    beIcancomeov
    er.
    ”
    “
    No,
    Iwi
    l
    lcome.
    ”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    Li
    nagotup,
    grabbedhercarkey
    sandwal
    ked
    out
    .

    *
    **

    Inthebuscomi ngbackt
    oGaborone,Moemedi
    satrubbinghi
    shands.Amanwal kedov
    erand
    satbesideshi
    m astheconduct
    oranddri
    vergot
    i
    nthebus.Hi
    sphonev
    ibr
    atedf
    rom hi
    spocket
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi,
    thi
    sisEuni
    ce-
    “
    “
    From t
    hemi
    ne?
    ”
    Eunicel
    aughed.“
    Yes,t
    hecompanywouldl
    ike
    youtocomeandsi gnt
    hecontr
    acti
    fyouar
    e
    sti
    l
    laround,cany
    oumakeit?”
    Moemedist
    oodup.“
    Yes,
    yesIcan.Iam st
    il
    l
    ar
    ound.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    youcancomeby
    .”
    “
    Thanky
    ousomuch.Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Shechuckl
    ed.“
    Don’
    tthankme,
    thanky
    our
    sel
    f.
    ”
    Thebusstartedmov i
    ng.“
    Heeeiidr
    iver
    ,nkemele
    ho!Kebonet i
    ro,bampatl
    ako,nkemeleke
    fol
    oge.
    ”(Driv
    er,waitf
    orme,Ifoundajob,they
    wantmet here,wai
    tformeletmealight.
    ”
    Thepassenger
    slaughedashest
    eppedout
    .The
    conduct
    orl
    ookedatMoemedi
    ’
    ssmi
    l
    e.
    “
    Oboneti
    rokaenemona?(
    Wher
    edi
    dyouget
    t
    hej
    ob?)
    ”
    “
    Att
    hemi
    ne.
    ”
    Theconduct
    orsmi
    l
    ed.“
    Youhav
    emadei
    t,
    cel
    ebr
    ate.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Theconductorgavehim backhi
    smoneyt
    hen
    herushedtothetaxi
    s.

    *
    **

    AtLina’smari
    talhouse,shewait
    edforLonas
    thenacardrovein.Lonassteppedoutand
    walkedover.Li
    naopenedt hedoorforher
    stari
    ngatthenewcar ,acarherhusband
    bought.Herangergotsomuchshecoul dj
    ust
    burst.
    “
    Soy
    oudeci
    dedt
    osl
    eepwi
    thmyhusband.
    ”
    Lonaslookedatherasshegoti
    nthehouse.“
    I
    canexplai
    n.”
    “
    Youhav
    ebeensl
    eepi
    ngwi
    thmyhusband.
    ”
    “
    Lina-
    “
    Li
    naraisedherhandandsl
    appedLonas.“
    You
    under
    estimat
    emeLonas.”
    “
    LinaIdon’
    twantt
    ofi
    ghtwi
    thy
    ou.
    ”
    Linasl
    appedheragain.“
    Iam goingtobeatyou
    todaybecausey
    out hi
    nky oucandisr
    espectme
    anyhowy ouwant,y
    ousl eepwit
    hmyhusband
    j
    ustundermynose.”
    Li
    napunchedherst omach.Lonasfel
    ttheshar
    p
    pai
    nnowknowi ngwhatLina’
    sint
    enti
    onwas.
    Sheswallowedknowingshehadt oprot
    ecther
    chi
    ld.Shebitherl
    owerli
    pandpunchedLi na
    back,Li
    nadodgedandki ckedherst
    omach.
    “
    Soy
    ouar
    etr
    yingt
    ohur
    tmychi
    l
    d?”
    “Youarenotwal
    kingoutofherewit
    hthatchi
    l
    d.
    Iam goi
    ngtokil
    lthatchil
    dwithmybar
    ehands
    andfrom t
    her
    eIam goi ngtosuey
    ou.”
    Lonast earf
    ull
    ylookedatLinawhowascomi ng
    forher.SheturnedtorunbutLinapulledher
    hair,Lonassli
    ppedandf el
    l
    .Linakickedher
    stomachcount lessti
    mes,eachkickmor e
    strongerthantheprevi
    ous.
    “Yout
    hinkyoucanj
    ustsl
    eepwi
    thmyhusband
    andgetawaywithi
    t?”
    Li
    naki
    ckedherf
    ace.
    “
    Linast
    op.Youar
    ehur
    ti
    ngme.
    ”
    Li
    naangr i
    lyki
    ckedherst
    omachhar dert
    han
    beforeti
    l
    lLonaswasn’tf
    ight
    inganymore.She
    steppedbackstar
    ingatt
    hebl oodt
    henher
    phonerang.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Heybabe,
    itseemsl
    i
    keIwi
    l
    lbeatt
    hehospi
    tal
    f
    ort
    her
    estoft
    heday
    .Iwi
    l
    lseey
    oul
    ater
    .”
    “
    Okdaddy
    .”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ..
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    edaddyt
    oo.
    ”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #21

    Li
    naputdownt hephoneandl ookedatLonas
    whileshelaymot ionlessly
    .Shet ookadeep
    breathanddraggedherbodyt oaguestr oom
    andlockedheri nsidethencleanthebloodoff
    herwhiteti
    les.Shecal ledKgarebewalki
    ngout.
    “
    HeyLi
    na…”
    “
    Iwantabor
    ti
    onpi
    l
    ls.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    oupr
    egnant
    ?”
    “No,whywoul
    dIabortaf
    tert
    hestr
    uggl
    eIhav
    e
    beenthr
    ough?Theyaref
    ormysist
    er.
    ”
    “
    Oh,noIdon’
    thav
    ethem butIknowsomeone
    whosel
    l
    sthem.”
    “
    Giv
    emet
    hei
    rnumber
    .Ineedt
    hem t
    oday
    .”
    “
    Ok,
    Iam sendi
    ngt
    henumber
    .”
    Kgar ebehungupasLi nagotinhercarand
    droveof fputti
    ngonhersungl asses,her
    windowsr ol
    leddown.Shest oppedbyar ed
    tr
    af f
    icli
    ghtandl ookedattheRedJeeppar ked
    besideshercar .Shesmi l
    ed,i
    fTendai coul
    d
    affordLonasacar ,
    whatstoppedherf rom
    getti
    ngher selfacar.AjeepWr anglerwasn’t
    bad, may beshewoul dgetitonred.Shesmi led
    dri
    v i
    ngof f.
    *
    **

    Abeparkedhi
    scari
    nfrontofabui
    ldi
    ngthen
    st
    eppedoutandcameroundmydoor .He
    openedformeandhel
    pedmeout .
    “
    Come,
    Iwantt
    oshowy
    ousomet
    hing.
    ”
    Ismiledcur
    iousl
    yandwalkedi
    nsi
    det he
    buil
    dingwit
    hhim.Wegotintheelev
    at orthenhe
    pressed3.Helookedatmemakingmel augh.
    “
    What
    ?”
    Hewal
    kedoverandhel
    dmywai
    stst
    ari
    ngi
    nmy
    ey
    es.“
    Ili
    key
    ourhair
    sty
    le.
    ”
    Ismiledt
    ouchi
    ngmyhead.“
    Thanks.Iwantt
    o
    tel
    lyousomethi
    ng.
    ”
    Theelevatorsl
    i
    dopent henwest eppedout.We
    walkedpasttheemptyr ecept
    ionglasstabl
    e
    thenwalkeddownt hefoyerpassingacoupleof
    doorsti
    l
    l heopenedthedoort othelastdoorat
    t
    hefarendandwalkedinwi
    thme.Il
    ookedat
    t
    hehugeoffi
    cewit
    honlyaredwoodentabl
    ein
    t
    hemiddleandachair
    .
    “
    Wow!
    ”
    “
    Doy
    oul
    i
    kei
    t?”
    It
    urnedandl
    ookedathi
    m.“
    It
    ’sbeaut
    if
    ul,
    whoi
    s
    i
    tfor?
    ”
    Hesatdownont hechai
    rpull
    i
    ngmeonhislap.
    “Iam t
    hinki
    ngoftaki
    ngt
    hisspacef
    orAbeTrust
    Couri
    ers..
    .”
    “
    Real
    l
    y?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sbeaut
    if
    ulandv
    ast
    .Il
    i
    ket
    hecompanyname
    t
    oo.”
    Hepul
    l
    eddownmychi
    nandki
    ssedme.“
    Ili
    kei
    t
    t
    oo.
    ”
    Hi
    sphoner
    angt
    henheanswer
    edst
    ari
    ngatme.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Abe,
    it’
    sme,
    weneedt
    otal
    k.I
    t’
    simpor
    tant
    .”
    Myhear
    tpoundedasIl
    i
    stenedcar
    eful
    l
    ytot
    he
    whi
    tel
    adyspeaki
    ng.
    “Youcansayitnow.Wher
    edi
    dyouev
    engetmy
    contactdet
    ail
    s?”
    “Pi
    err
    etol
    dme.It
    ’si
    mpor t
    ant
    .Pl
    ease,
    cany
    ou
    comeovertot
    hehotel
    .”
    “What
    ’ssoi
    mpor
    tantt
    haty
    oucan’
    ttel
    lme
    now?”
    “
    Ican’
    ttal
    kabouti
    tov
    ert
    hephone.
    ”
    “I
    tbett
    eri
    mpor
    tantbecauseIam busy
    .Whi
    ch
    hotel
    ?”
    “
    UhhIwi
    l
    lsendy
    out
    hename.
    ”
    Hehungupandl
    ookedatme.“
    Let
    ’sgo.
    ”
    “
    Youwantmet
    ocomewi
    th?
    ”
    “
    Ihav
    enot
    hingt
    ohi
    deEazi
    ,l
    et’
    sgo.Byt
    heway
    ,
    thel
    awyersay
    shei sont
    opofev
    eryt
    hing.Ij
    ust
    hopeforhi
    ssake,
    Moemediwon’
    tfi
    ghtyou.”
    “
    Fightmewi
    thwhat
    ?”
    “
    Whatdi
    dyouwantt
    otel
    lme?
    ”
    Ishookmyhead.“
    Not
    hingser
    ious,
    let
    ’sgo.
    ”

    *
    **

    AtMaunPr
    ison,
    Tendai
    sighedworri
    edlythen
    ani
    nmatewhowasnowhi sfr
    iendwalkedover.
    “Youhav
    ebeensi
    ghi
    ngf
    orawhi
    l
    enow,
    arey
    ou
    ok?”
    Tendai
    shookhi
    shead.“
    Ihav
    eabadf
    eel
    i
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Yout
    oldher
    ?”
    “YesandIthinkthatwasabadidea.Idi
    dn’tl
    ike
    hertone.Ij
    usthopeshedoesn’
    thurtLonas.”
    “
    Att
    hisst
    aget
    her
    eisnot
    hingy
    oucandoev
    en
    i
    fshedecidest
    o.Youi
    mpr
    egnat
    edhersi
    sterso
    expectt
    heworst
    .”
    “
    Shesay
    sshehopesIr
    other
    e.”
    “
    Shei
    sjustangr
    y.”
    “No, whenmywi fegetsangry
    ,sheblowsand
    shedoesn’tcareforconsequences.Sheis
    sleek,shewil
    lprobablyj
    ustgetawaywi t
    hit.
    Shei salawyer
    ,justnotworki
    ng.Istoppedher
    fr
    om wor ki
    ngawhi l
    eaft
    erwegotmar ri
    ed
    becauseIcouldpr ovi
    deforusbutsheis
    smar t.
    ”
    “
    Sheisal
    awy
    er?Whycan’
    tshedef
    endy
    ou
    t
    hen?
    ”
    “
    BecauseIhav
    esomeonef
    ort
    hat
    .”
    “
    Youshoul
    dbewor
    ri
    ed,
    shecansuehersi
    ster
    .”
    “
    Ordowor
    se.Ineedt
    otal
    ktomybr
    other
    .”

    *
    **
    Thedetect
    ivelookedatt
    hedoct
    orhandl
    i
    ng
    Lebot
    ha’scase.
    “
    And?
    ”
    “IhavediagnosedLebot hawi thDissociativ
    e
    Identi
    tyDisor derorasal otofpeopl eknow,
    mul t
    ipl
    eper sonal i
    tydisor der ,t
    hisiswher ebya
    personhast woormor eper sonali
    ti
    esordi sti
    nct
    i
    dent i
    ti
    est hatr epeat edlyt akecont rolofthe
    person’sbehav ior.Heract ionswer enott hatof
    anor mal personbutwel ookedmor eintoher
    caseandi tj
    ustdi dn’tstartoutofnowher e,of
    causeshewasdepr essedbutnowi twasmor e
    i
    nf l
    uencedwi tht heabuse.Shewasr aped,
    physicall
    yabused, emot ional l
    yabused.She
    createdawal ltodeal witht hepainandshe
    developedt heot herchar act erthatwoul ddeal
    withthepai nwhi leshehi di ntheshadows.
    She…shewasn’ tawar ewhent hei ncidenttook
    place,theotherchar acterwasbecauseshel ast
    remembershermothercal
    l
    inghernamesand
    nextt
    hingt
    hepoli
    ceistaki
    ngher.
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tunder
    stand.
    ”
    Thedoct orsmi led.“Lebothacr eatedthisot her
    per sonal
    itybecauseshecoul dn’tstandt he
    trauma, thi
    sper sonali
    tyist otallydif
    ferentfrom
    Lebot ha.Inot hercasest heot herpersonal i
    ty
    mayev enspeakadi ffer
    entl anguageandt he
    hostmaynotbeawar eoft heper sonali
    ties.So
    whent heot herper sonali
    tiesr eacttocer tai
    n
    ev ents,t
    heywi l
    l beusingt hehost ’
    sbodyandi n
    thiscaseourhostbei ngLebot ha.Thehost
    mi ghtnotr ememberany thingt hattookpl ace
    whent heot herper sonal
    ityhadt akenov er .
    ”
    “
    Ithoughtt
    hatonl
    yhappenswi
    thwhi
    tepeopl
    e.”
    “Mentali
    ll
    nessdoesn’tcareabouty ourskin
    color
    ,yoursexorrel
    i
    gi on.Sheisgoingt ohave
    tostayatthementali
    nst i
    tuti
    onbeingr evi
    ewed
    ti
    ll
    weknowi fi
    t’
    ssafef orherandot herpeopl
    e
    ar
    oundher
    .”
    “
    Ok,
    thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Wai
    t,sheaskedabouthersi
    ster
    s.”
    “
    Hergr
    andmot
    hert
    ookt
    hem.
    ”
    Thedoct
    orsmi
    l
    ed.“
    Thanks.
    ”

    *
    **

    Atthehotel
    Ayaranherli
    pglossonherli
    ps
    thensmil
    edattheknock,Shequi
    cklywal
    kedto
    thedoori
    nherheelsmakingherl
    onglegs
    appearl
    ongerwhil
    eherbrownherbrownhair
    satonhershoul
    ders.Shesmil
    edstari
    ngatAbe
    buthersmil
    eddieddownasshelookedatme.
    “
    Idi
    dn’
    tknowy
    ouwer
    ebr
    ingi
    ngcompany
    .”
    “
    Arey
    oul
    ett
    ingusi
    n?”
    Ay
    amov
    edandl
    etusi
    n.Shecl
    ear
    edhert
    hroat
    closi
    ngthedoorwhi
    leIl
    ookedatt heromant i
    c
    setup.Shehadreal
    l
    ywentallout.Iturnedback
    toher,shest
    il
    lhadt
    hatri
    ngonherf inger,for
    peoplewhohadbrokenupoveramont hagoi t
    wasjustweir
    dhowshewasst il
    lwear i
    ngt hat
    ri
    ng.
    “
    Ithoughti
    twasonl
    ygoi
    ngt
    obeus.
    ”
    “
    No.Butgoahead,
    whati
    sit
    ?”
    Ayashrugged.“
    Fine,Iwant
    edtotel
    lyout
    hatI
    am pr
    egnantandt hatwearegoi
    ngtohavea
    baby.
    ”
    Abel
    ookedather
    .“Whatar
    eyoupl
    ayi
    ngat
    ?”
    Shehandedhim anenv
    elope.“Iam 2months
    pregnant
    .YouknowIwasn’tcheati
    ngbecauseI
    l
    ov eyou.
    ”
    Abeopenedtheenvel
    opeandr eadthr
    ough
    whil
    emyownhear tpounded.Helookedather
    andsatdown.
    “
    Ist
    hisl
    egi
    t?”
    Ayanodded.“
    Yesbutwecanrunanothert
    esti
    f
    youwanttobesure,
    Idon’
    tmind.Youaret
    he
    onlyIhav
    eeversl
    eptwi
    thAbe.Thisbabyi
    s
    yours.
    ”
    Hest
    oodupwi
    thhi
    shandsonhi
    sface.
    “Iknowt hi
    si sashock, Iwasal soshockedor
    may bestucki ndenialbutwear egoingtohave
    ababyAbeandt hi
    sbabyneedsy ou.Remember
    thefutureweal waystalkedabout,thefamilywe
    alwaystalkedabout …t hisbabydeser v
    esthat.I
    knowIhav ehur tyouwi t
    hmydoubt sbutthat
    wasonl ybecauseIam humanandnowIwant
    tofixmymi stakes,Iwantust ostartoverandI
    knowy ouwi llmaket her i
    ghtchoice.”
    “
    Aya…”
    Shetookhishandandputitoverherst
    omach.
    “Feelt
    hat?That
    ’sourchi
    l
    d.That’syouandme.”
    Tearsfi
    ll
    edhereyes.“
    Iam scar
    ed,Iam fr
    eaki
    ng
    outandIknewcomi ngheretoyouwasthe
    ri
    ghtf
    uldeci
    sion.Youwouldknowwhattodo.I
    knowthereissomeoneelseandIreal
    l
    ydon’t
    wanttohurtherfeel
    i
    ngsbutIneedyoutoo.I
    needyounowmor ethanever
    .Ionl
    yhaveyou.
    ”
    Il
    ookedatAbet
    hent
    hewhi
    tewoman.Ay
    a
    smil
    ed.
    “
    Iknowy
    ouwi
    l
    lmaket
    her
    ight
    ful
    choi
    ce.
    ”
    Isighed.“
    Hedoesn’ thav etomakeachoi ce,
    youar epregnantandl ooksli
    kei
    thappened
    beforeme, that’
    sok.Iam notmadf orthat.He
    didn’
    tknowbutnowhedoes.Thi sisnotFrance
    wher eyouget t
    ingpregnantmeanst hemani s
    yoursandy ouhav etobeaf amil
    y,peopleraise
    ki
    dssepar atelyher
    e.”
    Shei
    gnor
    edme.“
    Abe?
    ”
    “Shei
    sri
    ght,
    youbei
    ngpregnantdoesn’
    tmean
    wehavetobeafamil
    y.Yeswediddiscuss
    havi
    ngafamil
    ybutt
    hatwentdownt hedrai
    n
    whenwebrokeup.Iam sti
    l
    lgoi
    ngtosuppor
    t
    mybabybutthatdoesn’
    tmeanyouandIare
    get
    ti
    ngbacktogether
    .”
    “Mychil
    disnotgoingtogrowupwit
    hseparat
    e
    par
    ents.Abe,
    afterever
    ythi
    ngIt
    oldy
    ou,you
    hav
    etounderstand.”
    “IdobutIam notsacri
    fi
    cingmyhappi nessfor
    that.YouneedtoacceptthatIdon’
    tloveyou
    anymor e.Iwi
    ll
    cal
    lyouanddi scussaway
    forward.Letmegoanddi gestthenewsf i
    rst
    .”
    Hetookmyhandthenwewalkedout
    .Ayasat
    onthebedsti
    l
    lnotbel
    i
    evi
    ngwhathadjust
    happened.

    *
    **

    AtLi
    na’
    shouse,Lonasgr
    untedi
    npain,
    she
    knewshewaslosingt
    hebabybutshewas
    stuckinthebedroom.Sheclosedherey es
    tr
    y i
    ngtotakethepaincryi
    ng.Thepai nwasso
    excruci
    ati
    ngitweakenedher .Achil
    dhood
    memor yofLinadrowningherinwat erf
    lashed
    i
    nhermi nd,thi
    swasLi naandf oral
    lsheknew,
    shecouldleavehertodiethereli
    keshehad
    almostkil
    ledheroncebefore.
    “
    Godhel
    pme…”

    *
    **

    Atthehospital,
    Linawal
    kedinsi
    dehermotheri
    n
    -l
    aw’sroom andsmi l
    edstar
    ingatGi
    nawhowas
    awakewhilet hedoct
    orwrotesomet
    hingonher
    card.
    “Aft
    ernoonDoc,
    Iam herdaught
    eri
    n-l
    aw,
    howi
    s
    she?”
    “
    Shej
    ustwokeupandshehasst
    roked.Wear
    e
    st
    il
    lrunni
    ngtest
    ,assoonasIhav
    eallt
    he
    i
    nfor
    mat i
    on,
    Iwillkeepy
    ouupdat
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou,
    canIseeher
    ?”
    “
    Ofcause,
    butonl
    yforashor
    twhi
    l
    e.”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Thedoct
    orwalkedoutwhi
    l
    eGi
    nal
    ookedatLi
    na
    whowassmil
    ing.
    “
    Mot
    her
    ,howar
    eyouf
    eel
    i
    ng?Iam sowor
    ri
    ed.
    ”
    Li
    nasmil
    edthentouchedGina’
    shandwhil
    e
    Gi
    nastar
    edatherangril
    y.Li
    nasighed.
    “Ok,soyour ememberandy oupr obablyhat
    e
    me.Iam sor ry
    ,Inevermeanttosl eepwithyour
    husband, y
    ouar eagreatwomanandy oudon’t
    deservethisbutitwasyourhusbandy ou
    alwayspreachaboutwhocamet omeandsai d
    hewoul dgetmepr egnantforyourson.Iwas
    desperatethenbecauseIbadlywant edtosave
    mymar r
    iagebutthenhekeptcomi ngbackfor
    meandIf igur edhowmuchshi tIhav etaken
    from yoursont hendeci dedt ododamage
    control,
    yoursonr eallyhur tmeGi naandhei s
    goingtopayf ori t
    .Hei mpr egnatedast r
    eet
    womanoutt her eandt odayhei sjai
    l f
    ori t.Aft
    er
    thatheimpr egnat edmysi ster,Iam sti
    llgoing
    tofixherbecauseshet hi
    nksIam st upid.Asf or
    you,youar ej ustont hecr ossfi
    reforgivingbi r
    th
    tosuchason.Whi l
    ey ousi tont hewheel chair
    ,
    youar egoingt owat chmedest roythefami l
    y
    youspenty ear sput t
    ingt ogetherandnoonewi ll
    stopme.Yoursonhasr eallyhurtmeandhei s
    goingtor otinpr ison.”
    Linafixedhersheet.“Besafemother
    ,don’ttr
    y
    toomuch, wedon’twantyouhurti
    ngyourself
    .
    Isn’
    titfunnyhowournamessoundsi mil
    ar?
    NowIsee, Imean,wedoshar ethesamet estin
    men.Yourhusbandi sonenaughtyman, he
    knowshi sgame, alwaysmakesmecum wi l
    dly.
    FuckIgetwett hi
    nki ngabouti
    t…andImight
    choosetokeephi m onceallt
    hisisover
    .Iam
    notsur
    ebutIthinkIwi l
    l.Iwouldmakeagr eat
    stepmotherdon’tyouthink,
    sisterwi
    fe?”
    Takuwal
    kedinandpausedst
    ari
    ngatLi
    nat
    hen
    hi
    seyeswenttohi
    swife.
    “
    Heybabe…Icameassoonast
    hedoct
    orcal
    l
    ed
    me.
    ”
    Li
    nawinkedatGinawhowassti
    l
    lstari
    ngather
    wi
    thtear
    srunni
    ngdownhercheeksthen
    wal
    kedout.Herphoner
    ang.
    “
    Yes?
    ”
    “
    Igott
    hepi
    l
    ls.
    ”
    “
    ThanksKgar
    ebe,
    Iam onmywayt
    opi
    cki
    tup.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe
    #22

    Abedr
    ovei
    nsi
    dehi
    syar
    dandl
    ookedatme.
    “
    Babe.
    .-
    “
    “Soyouwer
    epl
    anni
    ngt
    ost
    artaf
    ami
    l
    ywi
    th
    her?
    ”
    “IthoughtshewastheonesoyesIwas
    planningtostar
    taf
    amilywi
    thherbutt
    hatdi
    dn’
    t
    wor kout.
    ”
    Inoddedandwhi
    sper
    ed.“
    Shei
    spr
    egnant
    .”
    “
    Sheisonl
    ygoi
    ngt
    ocar
    rymychi
    l
    d,not
    hing
    mor
    e.”
    “Rememberwhenyoufeelyouwantt
    oletmy
    sonandIgo,j
    ustal
    ertme.Iwon’
    tfi
    ghti
    t.
    ”
    Ist
    eppedoutoft
    hecarandwalkedinsi
    det
    he
    housewhi
    lemyphonerang.Il
    ookedat
    Moemedi
    ’
    scal
    lforamoment
    .
    “
    Yes?
    ”
    “
    Igott
    hej
    ob!
    ”
    “
    Youdi
    d?”
    “Yes.Igott hejobandIj ustsi
    gnedt hecontract
    .
    I
    sn’titthatawesome?Al lourpr oblemsar e
    fi
    nall
    ygoi ngt obesol v
    ed.Wear egoi ngtomov e
    here,Iam sur eMal col
    m willl
    ov eit
    .NowIcan
    buyhim al l
    t hetoysinthewor ld.Icant akecare
    ofyounowEazi .Iam soexcited.”
    ImovedMalcol
    m'stoyandsatont
    hecouch.
    “Yougotaj
    obatthemine?”
    “
    Yes.Ican’
    tbel
    ievei
    ttoo.ButBi
    naistheone
    whoshowedme, shetol
    dmei twasinPhikwe
    whenitwasnotbutIwentther
    eandgotthe
    j
    ob.”
    “
    Binat
    oldy
    ou?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Shenoddedt
    ear
    ful
    l
    y.“
    Isee,
    Iam happyf
    or
    you.
    ”
    “Babenowall
    ourprobl
    emswi
    l
    lbesol
    ved.We
    canaff
    ordanyt
    hingnow.”
    “Yes,youcanaf f
    ordany t
    hingnowbutIcan’t.
    Yougott hejob,notme…Iam notcomi ngback.
    Ialsowanttor ej
    oiceli
    key oumakingmyown
    money .Iwasnev erwit
    hy ouf ort
    hemoney ,
    I
    am actuall
    ygladIam wal kingawaybecause
    Godknowshowpai nf
    ulitwi l
    lbebei
    ngabused
    byar i
    chman.Goodl uck.”
    IhungupasAbewal
    kedi
    n.“
    Mamai
    sawake,
    l
    et’
    sgo.”

    *
    **

    Linawalkedi
    nsideherhouseandwenttothe
    room whereLonaswas.Sheunlockedand
    wal
    kedi
    nthenf
    rowned.
    “
    Lonas!
    ”
    Shewal kedtot heensuiteandlookedbutshe
    wasn’tthere.Walkingbacki nsi
    dether oom,
    Lonashi therwithalampi nherheadletti
    ngit
    breakonher .Linasli
    ppedandf el
    lthenLonas
    ranoff.Shet ookhercarkey sfrom herpocket
    asLinashout edfrom insidethehouset hen
    unlockedandj umpedi njustasLinaemer ged
    holdi
    ngherhead.Lonasst ar
    tedthecarand
    droveoff.
    Meanwhi l
    eLinaheldherheadandcal mly
    walkedbackinsidethehouse.Shepi cked
    Lonas’
    sphonef r
    om thefloorandopenedi t
    thenwentthroughhermessageswi t
    hher
    husband.Sheopenedt heirpictur
    estogether
    andlookedatt hem f
    orawhi le.Shefinal
    l
    ystood
    upthencleanedherhousei ncludingtheroom
    whereLonaswas.Shet ouchedherheadagai n
    andfeltwetness.Shebroughtherhandi nfront
    ofherandfrownedatt heblood.Shebli
    nked
    feel
    ingl
    ightheadedthentookherphoneand
    call
    edforanambul ancealr
    eadythinki
    ngofher
    nextmov e.

    Eazi’
    smot heropenedherol dhandbagand
    searchedforhermoney .Shef r
    owned, shewas
    sureshehadputi tther
    e,theent i
    reP1000
    wasn’tthereandherheartbeganpoundi ng.She
    walkedoutsidebreathi
    ngheav i
    lyknowingit
    couldonlybeoneper son.Shewal kedback
    i
    nsidethehouseandsear chedthoroughly,now
    withthatmoney ,
    someofherni cenewcl othes
    weregonei ncl
    udingherfav or
    it
    eor angedress.

    Moemedij
    umpedinsi
    det
    hecarthathad
    st
    oppedonthebusst
    opgoi
    ngtoGaborone.
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Thel
    adydr
    iversmi
    l
    ed.“
    Youar
    ewel
    come.
    ”
    Shechat
    tedwithherfr
    iendasshedrovethen
    hi
    sphonevibr
    atedfrom hi
    spocket.Hetooki
    t
    outandl
    ookedatthemessagef r
    om Bina.
    Bi
    na:Iam sopr
    oudofy
    ou,
    soy
    ouar
    emov
    ing
    when?
    Moemedi
    :TheywantmeonMondaysoIhave
    t
    wodaysandt heweekendt
    omov
    e.Ishoul
    dbe
    t
    hereonSunday.
    Bi
    na:
    Whatdi
    dEazi
    say
    ?
    Moemedi
    :Shei
    sst
    il
    ldi
    ssol
    vi
    ngourmar
    ri
    age.
    Bina:
    Ithi
    nky oushoul
    djustmov eon,ifshe
    comesbacki twon’
    tbebecauseshel ovesy ou
    butbecausesheisdesperatef
    ormoney .The
    ri
    chissurel
    ygoingtodisappoi
    nther.
    Moemedi
    :It
    oldheral
    ready
    .
    Bi
    na:Shewon’
    tli
    stentoyou.Youshoul
    djust
    moveonwithy
    ourl i
    fe.
    Moemedi
    :Youar
    eri
    ght
    .
    Bi
    na:Tel
    lmewheny ouarr
    iveher
    esoIcan
    pr
    operl
    ycongr
    atul
    ateyou.
    Moemedi smil
    edstar
    ingathi
    sphonet
    henhe
    putitinhispocket
    .Thedri
    ver
    ’sf
    ri
    endl
    ookedat
    her.“Hi,
    doy ourememberme?”
    Moemedi lookedatherforawhil
    e,hewassur
    e
    hehadn’tseenthebeautif
    ulf
    aceanywhere
    becausehewoul dprobablyr
    ememberifhedi
    d.
    “
    No.
    ”
    Shesmil
    ed.“
    Wewer
    eatt
    hesamel
    odgel
    ast
    ni
    ght.
    ”
    “
    Oh…”
    Shesmiledt
    ucki
    ngherhai
    rbehi
    ndherear.“I
    headyousayi
    ngsomethi
    ngaboutaninter
    view
    onthephonewhenyouwerebytherecept
    ion,
    di
    dy ougett
    hejob?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    That
    ’sgr
    eat
    .Bepr
    oudofy
    our
    sel
    f.Byt
    hewayI
    am Tashat
    a.”
    “
    Nicemeet
    ingy
    ou.
    ”
    Thebeaut
    if
    ull
    adytur
    nedbackt
    othef
    rontt
    hen
    herf
    ri
    endchuckl
    ed.
    “
    Yourbr
    other
    sar
    egoi
    ngt
    obesohappy
    .”
    Tashat
    alaughed.“
    Iknow,Iam soexci
    tedt
    o
    seeAbe.I
    t’
    sbeenlong,solong.
    ”
    “
    Ilongaskedy
    out
    ohookmeup.
    ”
    “Ruby,Abei snotyourty
    pe.Heisthetypet
    o
    commi tandst i
    ckstoonewoman,whenhe
    l
    ov es,
    hel oveshardandhegiv
    esitall
    hisal
    l.He
    doesn’tholdback.
    ”
    “
    That
    ’smyt
    ype!
    ”
    “
    No,
    youcan’
    tst
    icktoonemanandIdon’twant
    y
    outohur
    tmybrothert
    hennextt
    hingheki
    ll
    s
    y
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Youneedt
    orel
    ax,
    Ihav
    echanged.
    ”
    “Pl
    usmamasai dheal
    readyhasagirl
    fr
    iend.
    Shesentherpi
    ctur
    esandsheisbeauti
    ful
    ,just
    i
    ndireneedofamake-over
    .”
    Rubycl
    i
    ckedhert
    ongue.“
    Youar
    eabor
    e.”
    Tashat
    alaughed.“
    Iam sot
    ir
    ed,
    goshIdr
    oveal
    l
    thewayfr
    om Harare.
    ”
    “
    Yourcari
    sstil
    lnew,
    itf
    eel
    sfunt
    odr
    ive.Iwi
    sh
    i
    twasmine.”
    Tashat
    atookherphoneandcal
    l
    edherot
    her
    brot
    her
    .
    “
    Tino…”
    Ti
    nol
    aughed.“
    Bambi
    …”
    “
    Don’
    tcal
    lmet
    hat
    .”
    Ti
    nol
    aughed.“
    Youar
    eBambi
    .”
    “Mxm…Ihavebeent
    ryi
    ngt
    ocal
    lmom,
    shei
    s
    notpi
    cki
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Oh?Uhmay
    beshei
    sbusy
    .”
    “Yeah,anywaysIam onmyway ,j
    ustpassi
    ng
    Palapy
    e, Ihadtosl
    eepther
    elastni
    ghtbecause
    Iwassot i
    red.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    tel
    lmewheny
    ouar
    ri
    ve.
    ”
    “Ihopey
    oudi
    dn’
    ttel
    lAbe,
    Iwantt
    osur
    pri
    se
    him.”
    “
    No,
    yoursecr
    eti
    ssaf
    ewi
    thmeki
    ddo.
    ”
    “Okbye.
    ”Tashat
    ahungupandr
    elaxedl
    ooki
    ng
    ahead.

    *
    **

    Ifi
    xedGi
    na’
    ssheetaf
    terhel
    pingherbat
    hthen
    combedherhai
    r.
    “Youlookbeautif
    ulnow.Idon’
    tknowthe
    reasonfortheheartat
    tackandstr
    oke,butIam
    prayi
    ngy ourecoverwel
    l.Goodpeopl
    edon’t
    deservepain.
    ”
    Sheremai
    nedst
    ari
    ngatme,shehadbeen
    st
    ari
    ngatmeli
    kethatf
    orawhil
    e.
    “
    Arey
    ouokma?
    ”
    Itookherhandi
    ntomi
    newhi
    l
    eshest
    il
    ll
    ooked
    haunted.
    “
    Ify
    ouar
    eok,
    bli
    nkonce,
    ifnot
    ,twi
    ce.
    ”
    Shelookedatmef
    orawhi
    l
    ethenbl
    i
    nkedonce,
    thentwi
    ce.
    “Ok,
    uhhwhat ’
    swrong?Isity
    ou?Areyouinpain?
    Thedoctorsai
    dit’
    stemporar
    y.Youaregoi
    ngto
    befi
    neinawhi l
    esoy oudon’
    thavet
    owor r
    y.”
    Shecont
    inuedstari
    ngatme,i
    fhereyescoul
    d
    onl
    ytal
    k.Icoul
    dt el
    lshewassay
    ingsomethi
    ng.
    “
    Issomet
    hingwr
    ongwi
    thy
    ou?Pai
    n?Bl
    i
    nkonce
    f
    orayes.
    ”
    Gi
    nabl
    i
    nkedt
    wiceagai
    n.
    “
    Somet
    hingi
    swr
    ongbutnotwi
    thy
    ou?
    ”
    Shebl
    i
    nkedonce.
    “
    Ok.Whoi
    sit
    ?Isi
    tyourhusband?
    ”
    Takuwal
    kedinj
    ustasGi
    nabl
    i
    nkedonce.I
    l
    ookedathi
    m.
    “
    Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ng?
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Mr.Taf
    ir
    a,Iwashel
    pingherbat
    h.”
    “
    Isee,
    from her
    eonIwi
    l
    lbat
    hmywi
    fe.
    ”
    Inodded.“
    Iunder
    stand.
    ”
    “
    Whatexactl
    ydoyouwantf
    rom myson?Hi
    s
    moneyorforhi
    mtofat
    hery
    ourchi
    ld?
    ”
    “
    SirI
    -“
    “
    Youarenothi
    sty
    pe,whatyouwantfr
    om him
    i
    swhathasmebaffl
    ed.I
    sithi
    shardearned
    money
    .”
    “
    No,
    Idon’
    twantany
    thi
    ngf
    rom y
    ourson.
    ”
    “
    Thenleav
    ehim.Youar
    emar
    ri
    ed,
    gobackt
    o
    y
    ourhusband.
    ”
    Il
    ookedatGinawhonowhadt ear
    srunni
    ng
    downhercheekswi
    thherf
    ixedonmeasi fshe
    wascall
    i
    ngoutforme.
    “Onl
    yfami
    l
    ycanseeher
    ,youar
    enotf
    ami
    l
    y.
    Leave.
    ”
    Il
    ookedatheronemor
    eti
    meandwal
    kedout
    bumpingi
    ntoAbe.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “Yourf
    atheri
    sher
    e.It
    hinkIshoul
    dwai
    tint
    he
    car.
    ”
    “
    Howi
    smama?
    ”
    “
    Fine,
    Ibat
    hedherandshei
    scl
    ean.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    thanky
    ou.
    ”

    *
    **

    I
    nsi
    det
    hehospi
    tal
    room,
    Takul
    ookedathi
    s
    wi
    fesi
    l
    ent
    lycr
    ying.
    “Iam sorr
    ybabe…Iknowy ouarehurtbutIam
    sorr
    yandIwi ll
    fixall
    thismess.Ilov
    ey ouso
    much.Iam goingt ocoll
    ectyourmotherfr
    om
    yourcousin’
    shouset oday.Sheisworr
    iedabout
    youandi snolongerspendingaweekt her
    e.I
    am real
    lysorr
    ymyl ove.”
    MoretearsrandownGi na’
    sface,
    thehurtand
    pai
    ninherey essovisi
    blei
    tmadehimf eel
    gui
    lt
    y.Thiswast hewomanwhohadst oodwi t
    h
    hi
    m athislowest.
    “
    Iam sor
    rybabe…”
    Thedooropenedt
    henTakuquickl
    ywipedaway
    hert
    ears.Abewal
    kedoverandsmil
    ed.
    “
    Mama…”
    Takusi
    ghed.“
    Thedoct
    orsai
    dshewi
    l
    lbef
    ine.
    ”
    “Isti
    l
    lcan’
    tbel
    i
    evemamawasdr
    inki
    ngsl
    eepi
    ng
    pil
    ls.
    ”
    “
    Iknow,
    met
    oo.
    ”
    “
    Shewi
    l
    lbef
    ine.Shei
    saf
    ight
    er.
    ”
    Taufor
    cedasmi l
    e,i
    fAbegott
    oknowheknew
    hel
    lwouldbr
    eakloose.Wheni
    tcamet
    ohis
    mother
    ,heneverhel
    dback.

    *
    **

    AtMari
    na,
    Lonassmi
    l
    edashernur
    sewal
    ked
    backt
    owardsher
    .
    “
    Thanky
    ou…”
    Thenursesmi l
    ed.“
    It
    ’sok,
    nowgoandt akecar
    e
    ofhersel
    f.Iknowyouwon’tt
    ellwhathappened
    butsomeonewast ryi
    ngtohurtthatbaby.
    ”
    Lonasshookherhead.“Iam goi
    ngt
    opr
    otect
    thi
    sbabywithever
    ythi
    ngIhav e.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    ousur
    eyoudon’
    twantt
    opr
    essany
    char
    ges.
    ”
    “
    No.Ij
    ustwantt
    oleav
    e.”
    “
    Ok,wellgoodl
    uck.Thereareyourdi
    schar
    ge
    f
    ormsthoughIsti
    llt
    hinkyoushouldl
    ist
    ento
    t
    hedoctor.
    ”
    “
    No,
    Ican’
    tst
    ayher
    eonemor
    eday
    .”
    “
    Right
    !”
    Minut
    esl
    atershewal
    kedoutofMar
    inaandgot
    i
    nhercar
    .Herphonerang.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Iam sui
    ngy ouforsleepingwi t
    hmyhusband.I
    haveev i
    dence,youthinky ouaresmar tr
    unni
    ng
    butyouar egoi
    ngt oregretit.Youaregoingt
    o
    sellt
    hatcarandev erythi
    ngy ouownt hatwas
    boughtbymyhusband’ smoneyandpayme.
    Youar egoingtowisht hatli
    ttl
    edir
    tyhad
    actual
    lydied.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    esoev
    il
    ,youar
    egoi
    ngt
    ohel
    l
    !”
    “Wewil
    lmeett her
    e.Dri
    vet
    hatcarwhil
    eyousti
    ll
    canl
    ovebecauset r
    ustme,youaregoi
    ngto
    l
    oseever
    y t
    hingandtheonl
    yt hi
    ngyouwil
    lhav
    e
    aret
    heclothes.
    ”

    *
    **

    Afewhour slat
    er,
    Rubyst oppedt
    hecarinfront
    ofherhouseandst eppedoutwhil
    eTashata
    walkedroundthecarandgoti nt
    hedri
    ver’
    sseat.
    ShelookedatMoemedi .
    “
    Hey
    ,youcansomeandsi
    ther
    einf
    ront
    .”
    “
    Ohok.
    ”
    Hesteppedoutandgoti
    nthef
    ront
    .“Thank
    you.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok,
    sowher
    edoy
    oust
    ay?
    ”
    “
    Tlokweng.
    ”
    “Ok.Iusedtost
    ayt
    her
    ewhenIwasst
    il
    li
    n
    univer
    sit
    y.”
    Hesmi
    l
    edt
    henTashat
    alookedathm.
    “
    Sowhatnowt
    haty
    ougotaj
    ob?Doy
    ouhav
    ea
    f
    ami
    ly
    ?”
    “Iam mov i
    ngt here.Ihadaf amil
    ybutIdi dn’
    t
    treatthem r i
    ght,ontopoft hatIcouldn’ttake
    car eoft hem.Shei sdivorci
    ngmeandIhav e
    beent hinkingabouti tt
    heent i
    rejourney.She
    deser vesbet ter,shetookar eofmeandmy
    sonal mostal lthetimeandInev erappr eciated
    her .Ihur therandbecamesomet hingel se.She
    deser vesbet terandmay beonedayi fGod
    allows, wewi l
    lbeaf ami l
    yagainbutf ornowI
    am goi ngtoacceptherdeci si
    onandmov eon
    too. ”
    Tashatal
    ookedathim andsmil
    ed.Hewasn’t
    badlooki
    ng,shef
    igureditwast
    hel ackof
    moneybutsoonafterhewaspolishedwit
    h
    moneyhewoul
    dlookmor
    eli
    kei
    t.
    “
    Soy
    ouar
    ebasi
    cal
    l
    ysi
    ngl
    e?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Shesmil
    edandchuckl
    ed.“
    Isee…weshoul
    d
    havet
    easometi
    me.”
    Moemedi
    lookedatt
    hebeaut
    if
    ull
    adyi
    nshock.
    “
    Withme?”
    Shelaughed.‘
    Yes,wi
    thy
    ouori
    sther
    esomeone
    onthestandby?”
    “
    No.Not
    her
    eisnoone.
    ”
    I
    nTl
    owkeng,
    Moemedi
    dir
    ect
    edhert
    ohi
    shouse.
    “
    Thi
    sisme.
    ”
    Shelookedatt
    hesmall
    houseandnodded.
    “St
    artedfr
    om t
    hebot
    tom,andnowwear egoi
    ng
    up.
    ”
    Shehandedhi
    m herphone.“Saveyournumber.
    Peasedon’
    tmindme,Iam justconfi
    dent.I
    fI
    di
    e,Idi
    e.”
    Hequi
    ckl
    ysav
    edhi
    snumberwi
    thasmi
    l
    e.
    “
    Thanky
    ou.Howmuchwi
    l
    lit
    -“
    “
    No…keepi
    t.Youcanusei
    twhenwegoout
    .”
    Moemedi
    smi
    l
    ed.“
    Ok.
    ”
    Shel
    eanedoverandkissedhim,shocked,
    Moemediremai
    nedstil
    l,hi
    sheartpoundingasi
    f
    i
    tcoul
    djustl
    eapout.Tashatatouchedhisdi
    ck
    andmovedbackwithanaughtysmi le.
    “
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lyou.
    ”
    HenoddedunabletospeakThenstagger
    edout.
    Shelookedathi
    m wit
    hasmi l
    e,poorboy…She
    drov
    eof fasheunl
    ockedhi
    sdoor.

    *
    **

    Meanwhi
    l
    eBi
    na’
    sey
    esbur
    ntwi
    tht
    ear
    sasshe
    steppedbackf rom t
    hewindow.Shehadseen
    thatkiss,
    hey el
    lowladywasbeautif
    ulbutthi
    s
    washerman.Sheputonhert hongandbrathen
    hergownandwal kedoutgoingtoher
    neighbor’
    shouse.Sheknockedont hedoor.
    Moemedi openedandsmiled.
    “
    Hey
    !”
    “
    Hi…Icamet
    ocongr
    atul
    atey
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Oh…”
    Bi
    napushedhi
    mi nsi
    det
    hehouseandki
    ssed
    hi
    mtaki
    ngoffhergown.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #23
    Moemedi puthishandsonherwai stki
    ssi
    ngher.
    Hepushedt hedoorclosewithhi
    sl egand
    grabbedherfatbut
    t.Binapausedthenstepped
    backlooki
    ngathistentedpants.
    “
    Whowast
    hat
    ?”
    “
    Who?
    ”
    “Theladyy
    ouwer
    eki
    ssi
    ng?I
    sshey
    our
    gir
    lf
    ri
    end?”
    Moemedi shookhi shead.“No,shegav emea
    l
    iftf
    rom Pal
    apyet henshesaidshewoul ddrop
    meatmyhouse, Iwassur pri
    sedwhenshe
    ki
    ssedme, Icouldn’tev
    enmov e,Ihav
    enev er
    hadanyonedot hatt ome.”
    “
    Youshoul
    dtel
    lhery
    ouhav
    esomeone.
    ”
    Moemedi
    smi
    l
    edst
    ari
    ngather
    .“Ok.
    ”
    “Il
    i
    keyou,that
    ’swhyIcamewiththejob
    oppor
    tuni
    tytoyou.I
    fyoudon’
    tfeelt
    hesame
    saysot
    hatImayknow.
    ”
    Moemedilookedatherbody.“
    Ifeelt
    hesame
    butar
    en’
    tyouEazi’
    sfri
    end?Idon’twanti
    tto
    l
    ookli
    keIam try
    ingtospit
    eherusingyou.
    ”
    Bi
    nasmil
    ed.“Eazi
    andIwereneverfr
    iends,
    she
    j
    ustdi
    dmyhai r
    .Anddon’
    tworryaboutme,Iam
    ol
    denoughtoknowwhat’
    srightf
    orme. ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Shesl
    owlywentdownonherkneesandt ook
    outhi
    sdickfr
    om hi
    sf or
    malpants.Sheheldhi
    m
    i
    nherhandsandstrokedhi
    mt henopenedher
    mouthtaki
    nghimin.Moemedi gr
    untedcl
    osing
    hi
    seyesthen-
    #removed.
    .
    Moemedi gruntedli
    keabullt
    hrust
    ingi
    ntoher
    whileshemoanedsof tl
    y.Bi
    narubbedhercl
    it
    feeli
    nghisdi ckexpandmoreintohert
    hen
    closedherey esatthestimul
    ati
    onwhil
    e
    Moemedi thrusti
    ntoheronelastt
    imeandshot
    hi
    sloadinsi
    deher.Hesl
    owlysl
    i
    doutofherand
    col
    lapsedbesi
    deherbr
    eathi
    ngheav
    il
    y.
    “
    Ocummi
    l
    e?(
    Didy
    oucum?
    )”
    Bi
    nal
    ookedathi
    m andnoddedsmi
    l
    ing.“
    You
    ar
    eabeast
    .”
    Moemedi
    smi
    l
    edandki
    ssedher
    .“Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Hisphonerangf
    rom t
    hefl
    oort
    henhegotof
    f
    bedandpickedt
    heunsav
    ednumber.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi,
    Moemedi
    ,i
    t’
    sTasha.
    ”
    Hel
    ookedatBi
    na.“
    Oh,
    hol
    don.
    ”
    Heputt hephonedownandquickl
    yputonhis
    pant
    st henwalkedouthol
    dinganemptybucket
    ofwater.
    “
    Hi…”
    Tashal
    aughed.“
    Whatwer
    eyoudoi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Iwasget
    ti
    ngt
    hebuckett
    ofet
    chwat
    er.
    ”
    “Ok,
    any
    waysIwantedtojustconf
    ir
    my our
    number
    .Iam sor
    ryIam comingof
    fstr
    onglyat
    you.
    ”
    “No,
    y oudon’
    thav
    etoapol
    ogi
    zef
    orbei
    ng
    conf
    ident.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.Goodni
    ght
    .”
    “
    Yeah…”
    Shehungupt henhesl idhi
    sphoneinhi s
    pocket,
    itwasst i
    llweir
    dhowawomanl i
    keher
    wouldapproachaguyl i
    kehi
    m.Hef etchedthe
    waterandwal kedbackinsi
    dethehouset hen
    l
    ookedatBi nasleepingonherfr
    ontfacingaway
    fr
    om him naked.Wi t
    hasmi l
    eheputthebucket
    downandt ookof fhi
    spantsthencrawled
    besi
    deher .

    *
    **
    Lonaspressedherol
    dphoneandcal
    l
    edher
    mother
    .
    “
    Lonas?
    ”
    “
    Mama,
    Iam comi
    ngbackhome.
    ”
    “
    Whathappened?
    ”
    “
    Tendai
    wasar
    rest
    edandIam pr
    egnant
    .”
    “
    Hemadey
    oupr
    egnant
    ?”
    “Yes.ButLinadidn’
    tnow,shejustfoundout
    todaythencal l
    edmetoherhousewher eshe
    beatmeki ckingmystomachal mostkill
    i
    ngthe
    baby.IforgotthenewphoneTendai gotmeand
    shetooki t
    ,shehasallourconver
    sationsand
    pict
    ures,sheisgoingtosueme. ”
    “Whydi
    dyouforgett
    hephone?Youknewy
    ou
    hadtobecar
    eful
    ?”
    “
    Itf
    ell
    whenshewasbeat i
    ngmeandwhenI
    f
    oundachancetorunoff,Idi
    dn’
    tbot
    hert
    ryi
    ng
    t
    olookforaphone.Iam sacr
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Comeback,
    didn’
    tTendai
    buyy
    ouacar
    ?”
    “
    Sheissui
    ngme!Imighthav
    etosel
    li
    tbecause
    t
    hat
    ’swhatshewant
    s.”
    “Iwi
    llt
    alkt
    oher,
    Ihopeyour
    epor
    tedhert
    othe
    poli
    cefort
    ryi
    ngt
    ohurty
    ou.”
    “Thelawwi
    llf
    avorher,af
    teral
    lIwast
    heone
    sleepi
    ngwi
    thamar r
    iedman.Iam soscar
    ed.
    ”
    “Youneedt otel
    lTendai.Got owherev
    erhei s
    andtellhi
    m.Youcan’ tdealwitht
    hisalone,aft
    er
    ally
    ouar ecar
    r y
    inghischil
    dbecausehi swifei
    s
    i
    nferti
    l
    e.Hisfami l
    yisri
    ch,theywil
    lhel
    py ou.”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lgot
    opr
    isont
    omor
    row.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    keepmeal
    ert
    ed.
    ”
    Lonashungupasherphoner
    ang.
    “
    Yes?
    ”
    “Hi
    ,Ij
    ustsawyourpostonf
    acebook,
    arey
    ou
    sti
    l
    lsel
    li
    ngthef
    urni
    ture?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Iam movingtoGabor
    oneandIneedfurni
    tur
    e.I
    sawev er
    ythi
    ngandIcanbuythem al
    lfor
    P10.000.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Myfri
    dgeonl
    yiswor thP5000.Mybedcost
    P12000butIam sell
    i
    ngi tforP5500.My
    proper
    tyi
    squal
    it
    yf urni
    ture.”
    “
    Wel
    lIdon’
    thav
    emoney
    .”
    “Thenwhydidy
    oucal
    lme?Nxl
    alal
    api
    sa
    Batswana.
    ”
    Lonasangril
    yhungupt
    henwentt
    oherpost
    andreadthecommentsbef
    orer
    eply
    ingt
    othem
    wit
    htheprices.

    *
    **
    Laterthatni
    ght,af
    terdinnerAbet ookhi sl
    aptop
    whileMalcol
    m coloredhisdr awi ngswi t
    hhis
    crayons.Heopenedadocumentsav edunder
    Malcolm andreadthrought hebusi nessplan.
    Hest art
    edtypi
    ngacoupl et hings,cor r
    ecti
    ng
    pagebypage.Iwal kedf r
    om t heki t
    chenwi pi
    ng
    myhandsaf terwashingt hedi shes.
    “
    Thi
    sisagoodbusi
    nesspl
    anbabe…”
    Il
    ookedathi
    m.“
    Yout
    hinkso?
    ”
    “
    Yeah,
    Ili
    kei
    t.
    ”
    “Iam t
    hinki
    ngofappl
    yi
    ngf
    orf
    undi
    ngf
    rom t
    hat
    companyIlist
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Naguel
    Inv
    est
    ment
    s?”
    Inodded.“
    Yeah.Iam sur
    etheywi
    l
    lconsi
    derme,
    i
    t’
    sabi gcompany.”
    Abesmil
    ed.“Il
    i
    key
    ourwayoft
    hinki
    ng.Thi
    sisa
    smartmove.
    ”
    “
    ButIhav
    et opauseschool
    becauset
    hisneeds
    myful
    lat
    tenti
    on.
    ”
    “Ir
    eal
    lywantyoutogotoschool buti
    fyouare
    suret
    henIwil
    lfull
    ysupportbabe.Theonl
    yway
    towiniswhenyouaredeterminedaboutwhat
    youwantandifyouhavetheballstogoaft
    eri
    t.”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Themet
    albal
    l
    s.”
    Hel
    aughedev
    enhar
    der
    .“Heav
    ymet
    albal
    l
    s.”
    Theint
    ercom rangasIsatbesidehim.Hestood
    upandwal kedoutsi
    dewiththegateremot
    e
    whi
    leIchangedt hechannel
    .
    “
    Mamal
    ookatus!Thi
    sisuncl
    eAbe,
    youand
    me.
    ”
    Il
    ookedatthepoordr
    awi
    ngadsmi
    l
    ed.“
    It
    ’s
    beaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    Myeyesturnedt
    ot hedoorasIhear
    dacr ythen
    Ist
    oodupandwal kedtothewindowpeaking.
    “St
    ayther
    e.”
    Myey
    esf
    ell
    onAy
    awi
    thherbagsy
    etagai
    n.
    “Ihavenowher
    et ogo,Il
    ostmyjobAbe.Iam
    pregnant
    ,mycareeri
    srui
    ned!Whatdoyou
    wantmet odo?”
    “
    Soyouar
    enother
    ebecausey
    ouact
    ual
    l
    y
    want
    edt
    o?”
    “
    AbeImadeami
    stake,
    Iam human.Imake
    mist
    akes.
    ”
    “
    Yourmi
    stakewascominghereandt
    hinki
    ng
    y
    ouandIarecanbeany
    t hi
    ng.
    ”
    “Idon’
    thavemoneytopayforthehotel
    anymore.CanIst
    ayherefortoni
    ghtandget
    Amandat ogetmearetur
    nt i
    cket
    .Iam goi
    ngto
    getanaborti
    onwhenIgetback.”
    “
    Youar
    enotki
    l
    li
    ngmychi
    l
    d.”
    “Idon’thav
    eachoice.Youwantt
    hatwoman,I
    can’tdothi
    sal
    one.It’
    seit
    hery
    ouareinory
    ou
    areout .
    ”
    Abetur
    nedtothewindowthenIquickl
    ymoved
    wit
    hapoundingheart
    .Isatonthecouchand
    l
    ookedatt
    heTVwhi leAbewalkedin.
    “
    Babe,
    canwet
    alk?
    ”
    Inoddedt
    henf
    oll
    owedhi
    mtot
    hebedr
    oom.
    “Ayaishere,
    shehasnowheretogo.Canwe
    pleaseaccommodateherf
    ortoni
    ght
    ,shei
    s
    carryi
    ngmychil
    dandIwanttomakesureshei
    s
    fi
    ne.”
    “
    Whataboutt
    omor
    row?
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    ltr
    ycomi
    ngupwi
    thsomet
    hing.
    ”
    “
    Somet
    hingl
    i
    kewhat
    ?”
    “Iam notsur
    ey et
    ,shewantstoabort.Idon’
    t
    wanthertokil
    lmybaby .Wemi ghthavebroken
    upbutIdon’twantanyt
    hinghappeningtomy
    unbornbaby.”
    “
    Whatdoy
    ouwantt
    odo?
    ”
    Hel
    ookedi
    nmyey
    es.“
    Iam aski
    ngi
    fyouar
    eok
    withhersleepinghere,
    ifnotIcanbookherinto
    thehotelthengetheraplanet i
    ckett
    ogoback
    toFrancet omorrowandkeepsuppor t
    ingher
    fi
    nanciall
    yt i
    l
    lshegiv
    esbirth.Sheisnotworki
    ng
    anymor esosheneedsal lthefi
    nanci
    alsupport
    shecanget .
    ”
    “
    Ithi
    nky
    oushoul
    ddowhaty
    ouf
    eel
    isr
    ight
    .”
    “
    That
    ’snotananswer
    .”
    “
    Ican’
    treal
    lysayany
    thi
    ngAbe.Ify
    ouwerein
    myshoes,wouldbecomfor
    tabl
    ewithi
    t?”
    “Iwi
    llbookherbacki
    ntoahot
    elt
    hengether
    backtoFrancetomor
    row.Ar
    eyouokwith
    that
    ?”
    Inoddedmaki
    nghi
    m smi
    l
    e.
    “Youshouldlearntospeakupbabe.Fora
    rel
    ati
    onshiptowor kout
    , y
    ouneedt obeableto
    communi catewithme.Ifsomethingdoesn’
    tsit
    wellwit
    hy ou,youtal
    k,youdon’
    tjustkeepquiet
    .
    Thereisnothingwrongwithexpressi
    ngyour
    t
    houghts.Fr
    om nowmovi
    ngon,canweagr
    ee
    t
    obetterourcommuni
    cat
    ion?
    ”
    Inodded.
    “
    Idon’
    tspeaksi
    gnl
    anguage.
    ”
    “
    Iunder
    stand.
    ”
    “
    Good.
    ”
    Hekissedmeslidi
    nghishandundermydr ess.I
    putmyhandonhi schestt
    ost ophim butt hen
    rememberedhowhedi dn’
    tli
    kebeingdeni ed
    sex.Hepull
    edmypant i
    estothesidetakingout
    hisdi
    ckandlookedinmyey esthensanki n.
    “
    Ilov
    eyou…”
    Ipull
    edhim downf
    oraki
    ssashepushedhi
    s
    dickti
    ll
    hehadbott
    omedout
    .

    *
    **
    Meanwhi l
    eout
    sideAyalookedatherwatch
    thenwalkedi
    nsi
    dethehouse.Shelookedatthe
    youngboybusyplayi
    ngwithaphone.She
    star
    edathimforawhilethensmil
    ed,Abehad
    nevert
    oldherhehadachi l
    d.Shewalkedover
    andsatdown.
    “
    Hi,
    mynamei
    sAy
    a.Iam daddy
    ’sf
    ri
    end.Wher
    e
    i
    sdaddy
    ?”
    Hepoi
    ntedatadoor
    .
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    Shewal kedtot hedoort oknockbutt hen
    pausedl i
    steni
    ngt othedistantsoundscomi ng
    from theroom.Sheputherearagai nstthedoor
    andl i
    stenedtohim gruntwhi l
    etheladymoaned
    softl
    ycalli
    ngouthi sname.Tear sfi
    lledhereyes
    maki ngherstepback, itwasasifhewas
    stabbingatherhear tcountl
    esstimeswi thout
    regret.Atearrandownhercheeks, knowing
    howmuchAbecoul df uckbroughtmor etears
    tohereyes.Anotherwomanwasnowunder
    him whenitwassupposedtobeher.Shet
    ri
    ed
    openingthelockeddoort
    henbangedit
    .
    “
    Abe!
    ”

    *
    **

    I
    nsi
    dethebedroom, Abedr
    il
    ledi
    ntomewi
    thmy
    l
    egonhisshoulder
    .
    “
    Abe…shei
    sal
    onewi
    thMal
    col
    m.”
    Hekissedmepoundingint
    omewi thfastdeep
    str
    okesthathadmeturni
    ngmyey estothe
    backspasming.Abegavemeacouplemor e
    str
    okesthensloweddownrel
    easi
    ngintome.
    “
    Fuuuuck!
    ”
    Ay
    ascr
    eamed.“
    Abe!
    ”
    Hesl
    i
    doutandki
    ssedme.“
    Iam sor
    ry.Letme
    sor
    tthi
    sout
    .”
    Heputhi
    spantsandopenedthedoorwhi
    leI
    pi
    ckedhi
    st-
    shir
    tfrom t
    hefl
    oorandputi
    ton.He
    openedt
    hedoorthenAyapushedherwayi
    n.
    “
    Ial
    sowant
    .”
    “
    Whatwhat
    ?Ar
    eyoucr
    azy
    ?”
    “Iwantyou.Iknowy ouhaveherandIhavenow
    acceptedit
    .Iwantashareofyou,Idon’tmind
    shari
    ng.IsharedyouwithJewel,
    Idon’tmind
    doingitagai
    n.Ilov
    ey ouandIam notwalki
    ng
    away.”
    “
    CanIpl
    easet
    alkt
    oher
    .”
    Abel
    ookedatme.“
    Uhh…”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    ltal
    ktoher
    .Gi
    veusami
    nut
    e.”
    Abelookedatmeforawhilethenwal
    kedout
    .
    Ayalookedatmebreat
    hingheavil
    ywhi
    leI
    remainedcal
    m st
    ari
    ngather.
    “
    Ayar
    ight
    ?”
    Shenodded.
    “Idon’tknowy ourhist orywi thAbebuthedi d
    tell
    meabouty ou.Iknowhepr obablyl ovedy ou
    atsomepoi ntandhonest l
    yIcan’ tspeakf or
    him nowandsaywhathef eels,Iwillnev er
    knowwhat ’sreall
    yinhi shear t.Youar e
    pregnantandy oufeel theneedt obewi thhim
    sot oraiset hischildt oget her,whatIam not
    sureabouti swhet hery our eallylovehi m orf eel
    pressur ed, whatevert heansweri s,Idon’ tcare,
    i
    t’snotmyi ssuebutl ov e, Iam notgoi ngt o
    sharet hismanwi t
    hy ou.Icanseej usthow
    mani pulativey ouare, tryingt oemot i
    onal ly
    blackmai lhimi nt
    oget tingbackwi t
    hy ouusing
    thatbaby ,Iam alsof er t
    ileandIcangi v ethat
    manki ds, sogoaheadandabor t.I
    fitmakes
    youhappy , goaheadanddoi t.Hewi llbehur t
    butnott hatmuchbecausei t’
    sj ustacl otright
    now.Justbl ood.Not hinghect ic.”
    “
    Hei
    sgoi
    ngt
    ocomebackt
    oFr
    anceandhewi
    l
    l
    f
    orgety
    ou.Hewi
    l
    lleav
    eyouandcomebackt
    o
    me.”
    “Ipi
    tyyou,youaresodesperatei
    t’
    ssad.Inever
    knewwhi t
    epeoplewereli
    ket hi
    sormaybeit’
    s
    onlyyou.
    ”Istoodupandlookedathersmi l
    i
    ng.
    “Heisgonesweet y
    ,heisnotcomingback.”
    Ayamar
    chedoutandlookedatAbewhowas
    onhi
    sphone.Hel
    ookedather.
    “
    Ihavesort
    edouty
    ourf
    li
    ght
    s,y
    ouar
    eleav
    ing
    t
    onight
    .”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #24
    Ay
    achuckl
    edf
    oldi
    ngherar
    mst
    oget
    her
    .
    “
    Soy
    ouar
    echoosi
    ngherov
    ert
    hisbaby
    ?”
    “
    Iam choosi
    ngmyhappi
    nessov
    ert
    hatbaby
    .”
    “
    Iam goi
    ngt
    oabor
    t.
    ”
    “Ican’tstopy ouev enifIwantedto.Ifyoudon’t
    abortsendmey ourmont hl
    ybudgett henIwill
    takeitfrom there.Ifyoudoabor t
    ,justdelet
    e
    mef rom y ourli
    feandgoonl i
    kewenev ermet
    beforebecauset hat’
    showi t
    ’sgoingt obe.Your
    cabisher e.”
    “
    AbeIl
    ovey
    ou…”
    “Idon’tany
    mor e,
    y ouneedtoacceptthat
    .
    Besidesbeinginlovewithsomeoneelse,Ican’
    t
    bewi t
    hawomanwhocan’ tst
    andwi t
    hmewhen
    Ineedhert o.
    ”
    “
    Imadeami
    stake,
    Iwi
    l
    limpr
    ove.
    ”
    “Ther
    eisonlymuchyoucani
    mproveandt
    hati
    s
    notpartofi
    t.Youar
    edel
    ayi
    ng,l
    et’
    sgo.
    ”
    Sheslowl
    ywentdownonherkneescr
    ying.
    “Pl
    ease…”
    “Don’
    tdothatt
    oy our
    sel
    f.Let
    ’sgo.”Hehel ped
    herupandwalkedoutwithher.Isighedandput
    onmysilkgownandwentt oMal colm’sr
    oom.
    “Mom! ”Hequi
    ckl
    ycoveredhi
    spr
    ivat
    esthen
    pickedupatowelandcover
    edhi
    mself.
    “
    What
    …?”
    “Iwasbathi
    ng,nowIneedtowearmypy j
    amas.
    Youcan’tj
    ustwalki
    nli
    kethat
    .Respectmama.”
    Ichuckl
    edthenlaughedhar
    d.Abewal
    kedi
    n
    andpeakedholdingmywaist.
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “
    Mom j ustwal
    kedinwithoutknocki
    ngandI
    wastryingt
    odress.Youshouldn’
    tdothat
    ,it
    ’s
    wrong.Youshouldknock.”
    Abechuckl
    edandnodded.“
    BabeIagreewi
    th
    Malc,
    youcan’
    tjustwal
    kinpeopl
    e’
    srooms
    withoutknocking.YoutooMal c,youdon’
    tjust
    walki npeople’
    sroomswi thoutknocki
    ng.Ev en
    i
    fit’smamaandIi ntheroom.Youknockf irst
    thenwet ellyoutocomei n.Isevery
    oneon
    boar dwit
    ht hat
    ?”
    Mal
    col
    m nodded.“
    Yes!
    ”
    “
    Great
    .Babe?
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Yeah.
    ”
    It
    urnedandwal kedoutwhil
    eAbewal
    kedin
    cl
    osingthedoorbehindhim.Mi
    nut
    esl
    aterhe
    walkedoutthenlookedatme.
    “
    Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Whatar
    eyoudi
    scussi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Boy
    ’st
    hings.
    ”
    “
    What
    ’st
    hat
    ?”
    “
    Noty
    ourconcer
    nbabe.Come…”
    Het
    ookmyhandandl
    edmei
    nsi
    dehi
    s
    bedr
    oom.
    “Shesayssheisgoi
    ngt
    oabor
    t.Ican’
    tst
    opher
    evenifIwant
    ed.”
    “Letherbe.Wer
    eyouinar
    elat
    ionshi
    pwi
    thher
    andanotherwoman?”
    “No.Iwasn’ti
    narelat
    ionshi
    pwhenIwasseei ng
    herandtheotherwomanandhadputt haton
    thetabl
    e.Theybothknewandt heybothwanted.
    WhenIwant edarelat
    ionshi
    p,Ichoseherand
    heronly.
    ”Hesatonhisbedandt ookoffhis
    sweatpants.
    “
    Come,
    let
    ’ssl
    eep.
    ”
    Itookof
    fthegownandt-
    shir
    tandj
    oinedhi
    m on
    bedashepull
    edmecloserki
    ssi
    ngmyf or
    ehead.
    “Iwanty out ogoandpi tchyourbusi
    nessplan
    tomor r
    ow, whentheideaandf i
    guresarest
    il
    l
    freshiny ourhead,wheny oustil
    lbel
    iev
    einthat
    businessi dea.Yourplanisperf
    ect,t
    heywil
    l l
    i
    ke
    i
    tandi ftheydon’ tt
    henwewi l
    lseewhattodo.”
    Inodded.“
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Iwil
    ltakey
    ou.Youar
    egoi
    ngt
    obeok.Theywi
    l
    l
    l
    ovei
    t.”

    *
    **

    Thefol
    lowi
    ngmorni
    ngLinasmi
    l
    edopeni
    ngher
    maindoorandl
    etTakui
    n.
    “
    Hey
    ,It
    houghty
    ouwoul
    dcomey
    est
    erday
    .”
    “
    Met
    oobutIhadt
    ost
    aywi
    thGi
    na.
    ”
    Li
    nanodded.“
    Iunder
    stand,
    howi
    sshe?
    ”
    “
    Nott
    alki
    ng.
    ”
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngt
    ohappen?
    ”
    “
    Iwanty
    ou,
    Ist
    il
    lwanty
    ou.
    ”
    Li
    nasmiled.“
    Ithoughtmaybeyouwould
    changey
    ourmi ndandtryf
    ixi
    ngyourf
    amily
    .”
    “
    Igotyouusi
    nthi
    smessandIwi
    l
    lgetusoutof
    t
    hismess.
    ”
    “Tendai sleptwi t
    hmysi ster.Ifeelhurtand
    betrayed, shei spregnantandIknowi t
    ’snothis
    babybecausehecan’ thav ekids.Heboughther
    acar ,heboughtherexpensi vef urni
    tureandal l
    thi
    saf tercut ti
    ngmeof fmoney .Anot herside
    chicknowsenthi mt ojailandi t’
    spainf ulthat
    evenaf teral lt
    hey earsIhav ebeenwi thy our
    son, wear emar r
    iedoutofcommuni tyof
    propertybecausehet houghti twasf ort hebest.
    Hest oppedmef rom goingt owor kandnowI
    hav enot hingofmy sel
    f.Ihaddr eams, Ihad
    goalsandal l
    thatwasnev erlookedi nto
    becauseIhadt ohel phimf ulfi
    llhisdreams.I
    am goi ngt osuemysi sterandIam di vor ci
    ng
    yoursonbecausehedoesn’ tdeser vemebutI
    am notwal ki
    ngawaywi thnot hing.Iam t ell
    i
    ng
    yousot haty ouknow, t
    omor r
    owIdon’ twant
    youcal li
    ngmeev il
    .”
    Takuhel
    dherwaist
    .“Iunder
    standy
    ouranger
    andfr
    ust
    rat
    ion.
    ”
    “Iam scar
    ed,
    Iknowyouaregoingt
    osnapout
    ofitandgobacktoy
    ourfamil
    y.
    ”
    “
    Iloveyou.Ij
    ustneedt
    hedustt
    oset
    tl
    ethenI
    wi
    lldi
    vorceher.
    ”
    “
    Iam goi
    ngtochooset
    otr
    usty
    ou.Iwantt
    obuy
    anewcar.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lgeti
    tfory
    ou.Daddywi
    l
    lsor
    titout
    .
    Li
    nasmi
    l
    ed.“
    Imi
    ssedy
    oul
    astni
    ght
    .”
    “Imi
    ssedyoutoo.Ican’
    tbel
    i
    eveIl
    ovey
    oul
    i
    keI
    dobutit
    ’sbeenafewweeks.”
    “Metoo.”Shekissedhimt ouchi
    nghisdickthen
    hepickedherupandwal kedwi t
    hhert othe
    ki
    tchenwherehepl acedheront hekit
    chen
    counter
    spull
    ingherpantiestothesideand…

    *
    **
    Atthehospi
    tal
    ,Tashatawalkedi
    nhermother
    ’s
    room andsmil
    edtearf
    ull
    y.Shewalkedov
    erand
    huggedhermother.
    “
    Mama…”
    Ginasl
    owlyopenedhereyesandl
    ookedather
    daught
    er.Tashat
    asmi l
    ed.
    “Iam back.Ijustspoket othedoctor
    ,hesaid
    i
    t’stemporar y.Youar egoi
    ngt obefi
    nesoon,
    i
    t’snothi
    nghect i
    c.Iam goingtoseeAbeand
    Abe’sgir
    lfr
    iend, It
    hinkIam goingtoli
    keher,
    I
    am goingtot ryhardandl i
    keher.Li
    keyou
    alwayssay, goodin-lawsmeansgooddaught er
    -
    l
    aws.Wi ththewayy out al
    kaboutherIwil
    l
    .
    Papaiswor riedsickabouty ou.”
    Thenur
    sewal
    kedi
    nandsmi
    l
    ed.
    “
    Hi,
    arey
    ouherdaught
    er?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Iam Tashat
    a.”
    Thenursepaused.“
    Wow!Beaut
    if
    ulname.We
    arehappy.
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    itmeanswear
    ehappy
    .”
    “
    Myson’
    snamei
    sKushat
    a.Tobehappy
    .”
    “
    That
    ’scut
    e.YoursonandIar
    emeantt
    obe.
    ”
    Thenur
    sel
    aughed.
    “
    Let
    ’sat
    tendt
    oyourmom.
    ”
    Thenur
    seattendedtoGinaforawhi
    lethen
    fi
    nal
    l
    ywalkedout.Tashatasi
    ghedget
    ti
    ngup.
    “Iwil
    lcomebacklat
    er,It
    hinktheyar
    egoi
    ngto
    dischar
    geyoutoday
    .”Shekissedhermot
    her
    ’s
    cheekthenwal
    kedout.
    Sheunl
    ockedhercarf
    rom adi
    stanceandgoti
    n
    thendr
    oveoff
    .

    *
    **
    Atpr
    ison,
    Lonaswait
    edasTendai
    wal
    kedov
    er.
    Hesatopposi
    teher
    .
    “
    Hi…”
    Tear
    sfi
    l
    ledLonas’
    sey
    esasshel
    ookedathi
    m.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Howar
    eyou?Howi
    sthebaby
    ?”
    “
    Linaknows,sheki
    ckedmei
    nmyst
    omach,
    she
    wantedtoki
    l
    l mybaby.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “Nowsheissuingme, shehast heot
    herphone.
    Iam scar
    ed,thelandlordmovedmeout
    becauseyourbrothersaidhecouldn’
    taff
    ord
    taki
    ngcareofmeashehashi sownexpenses,
    hesaidhewouldonl ysupportthebaby.
    ”
    Tendai
    rubbedhi
    sface.
    “
    Ther
    eisnot
    hingmuchIcandowhi
    l
    einsi
    de.
    ”
    “
    Can’
    tyougety
    ourbr
    othert
    ogety
    ourcar
    ds?
    Youar
    emar
    ri
    edoutofcommuni
    tyofpr
    oper
    ty.
    ”
    “Butsheisstil
    lmyspouse.Shemayr
    efuse
    becauserightnowshewillr
    emai
    nwit
    ht he
    upperhand.”
    “Shei
    sgoi
    ngtosueme,
    wher
    eam Igoi
    ngt
    o
    getmoney
    ?”
    “
    Youwi
    l
    lsel
    lthecar
    .”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lbel
    eftwi
    thnot
    hingt
    hen.
    ”
    “Iwil
    lgety
    ouanot
    hercarwhenIwal
    koutof
    here.
    ”
    “Aft
    erhowlong?Rapecasest akelong.Andyou
    aregongtobesentenced,thelawwillal
    ways
    sidewit
    hwomenwheni tcomest othis.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lmakeapl
    an.Iwi
    l
    ltal
    ktomyl
    awy
    er.
    ”
    Lonasnoddedt
    henstoodup.“
    Ihavet
    omeet
    thel
    adywhowantstobuythebed.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Tendaisadl
    ywatchedherwal
    kaway
    ,the
    brui
    sesonherfacetoohar
    dnott
    omi ss.He
    st
    oodupandwal kedback.

    *
    **

    Ilookedatmysel
    fonthemir
    rori
    nthegreen
    ti
    ghtpantsandbl
    ackheel
    s.Abewalkedfr
    om
    thebathr
    oom put
    ti
    ngonhiscap.
    “
    HowdoIl
    ook?
    ”
    Hesmil
    ed.“Youlookbeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”Hepickedt
    he
    bl
    ackbl
    azerfrom t
    hebedandputitonme
    “
    Youl
    ookbeaut
    if
    ulandsexy
    .”
    Ismil
    ed.“
    Ok,
    wecango.Ar
    eyousur
    etheysai
    d
    Icoul
    dcomenowbabe?
    ”
    “
    Yeah,
    Ical
    l
    edt
    hePA.
    ”
    Wewal
    kedoutandgoti
    nthecart
    henhedr
    ove
    of
    fwhil
    eIt
    ookal
    ookatmypr
    int
    edbusi
    ness
    pl
    an.
    “
    Don’
    twor
    ry,
    youar
    eont
    opoft
    his.
    ”
    Ismil
    ed.“Yeah…t
    hanky
    ouf
    orget
    ti
    ngMal
    cthe
    schoolbus.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’smuchconv
    eni
    ent
    .”
    Awhi lelat
    erhepar
    kedinfr
    ontoft
    hehuge
    buil
    dingwi t
    hNaguelI
    nvest
    mentswri
    tt
    enwit
    h
    hugesi l
    verbol
    dlet
    ter
    s.Abeki
    ssedmycheek.
    “You’
    v egotthi
    sbabe.
    ”
    Inodded.“
    Yeah.
    .”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lwai
    ther
    e.”
    Isteppedoutoft
    hecarwi t
    hmyhandbagand
    walkedtowardst
    heentrance.Thesl
    i
    dingdoor
    s
    openedasIapproachedthenIwentovert
    othe
    recepti
    on.
    “
    Hi,
    Ihav
    eanappoi
    ntmentwi
    thMr
    s.Mokwena.
    ”
    Ther
    ecept
    ionl
    ookedup.“
    Youhav
    ean
    appoi
    ntmentwi
    thAnay
    a?”
    “
    Uhhy
    esmam,
    Mrs.Anay
    aMokwena.
    ”
    “Ok,
    she’
    sup.Lastfl
    oor
    ,youwi
    l
    lseeherPAand
    shewil
    ldi
    recty
    ou.”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Myhear tpoundedevenmor easIgotinthe
    el
    ev at
    or.Ipr
    essedthehighestnumberthenit
    whiskedmeup.Secondsl ater
    , t
    hedoorssli
    d
    openthenIwal kedoutt
    oanot herr
    ecepti
    onlike
    area.
    “
    Hi,
    Iam her
    etoseeMr
    s.Mokwena.
    ”
    “
    Anay
    aisr
    eadyf
    ory
    ou.
    ”
    Il
    ookedatt
    hedoorwr
    it
    tenMokwenat
    henback
    ather
    .“I
    nsi
    de?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Justgeti
    n.”
    “
    Ok,
    thanks.
    ”
    It
    ookadeepbr
    eat
    handwal
    kedi
    nsi
    de.Al
    ady
    tur
    nedandl ookedatmest andingi
    nthemiddl
    e
    oftheroom holdinghershoe.Shesmi l
    edasI
    suckedinabr eath,beaut
    if
    ul wasan
    underst
    atement .
    “
    Uhhmyheel…i
    tbroke.Gi
    vemeami
    nut
    e.”She
    l
    i
    mpedout
    sidechuckl
    ing.
    “
    Tebogodon’
    tyouhav
    esuper
    glue?Myheel
    …”
    ThePAl aughed.“
    Ihav
    e,Iwi
    l
    lfi
    xit
    .Weary
    our
    otherpai
    r.
    ”
    “
    Ngng,Iam meet
    ingi
    mpor
    tantpeopl
    etoday
    ,
    t
    hatpi
    nkheeli
    sit
    .”
    Theladywalkedbackinsi
    deandsmil
    ed
    standingi
    nfrontofmelet
    ti
    ngherper
    fume
    engulfme.
    “
    Hi,
    Iam Anay
    a.Youar
    e?”
    “
    Eazi
    .
    ”
    “
    IZZY?
    ”
    “
    No,
    EAZI
    .Eazi
    .”
    “
    OhhEazi,
    ok.HiEazi
    ,Iam sorr
    y,Iam havi
    nga
    war
    drobemalf
    uncti
    ontoday.Butpleasesi
    t.
    ”
    I
    nherbl ackbondagedress,
    Anayawalked
    roundthetabl
    eandsatdown.IfeverIhadbeen
    i
    ntimidatedbyanotherwoman,t
    hiswastheday.
    ShelookedatmeasIsatdown.
    “
    Ilov
    eyourdr
    essi
    ng.Youl
    ookbeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    It
    ookadeepbreathandsmi
    l
    ed.“Thanky
    ou,
    I
    l
    oveyourdr
    ess.Shoul
    dwegori
    ghtawaytoi
    t?”
    Shesmil
    edleaningbackonherchai
    r.“
    Mhhmm
    Eazi
    ,Il
    i
    kethat.Takeitaway
    !Blowmymi nd.
    ”

    *
    **

    Li
    nawalkedinsideherbedr
    oom wher
    eTaku
    wasscr
    olli
    ngonhi sphonehol
    dingbr
    eakf
    ast
    .
    Hesmil
    edput t
    inghisphonedown.
    “
    Thanks,
    Ijustgotmyboy
    sont
    hecari
    ssue,
    we
    ar
    egoi
    ngt
    oseei
    taf
    tert
    his.
    ”
    Li
    nasmi
    l
    ed.“
    Thanky
    oudaddy
    .”
    Herphoner
    angt
    henshepi
    cked.“
    Yes?
    ”
    “Hi
    ,Iam done,
    shoul
    dIhav
    ethef
    orms
    del
    iver
    edtoher?”
    “Yesbutshedoesn’
    thaveanaddr
    esssocal
    l
    her.Iwanthert
    ogetthosef
    ormsbefor
    eshe
    l
    eav es.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Thanksagai
    n.”
    Shehungupwi
    thasmi
    l
    e.

    *
    **

    Tashataparkedhercari
    nsideTendai
    ’
    sy ar
    dand
    steppedoutwithashoppi
    ngbag.Sheopened
    theunlockeddoorandwalkedin,
    knowingthat
    herbrotherwasi npr i
    son,Linawaspr obably
    al
    one.Wi thasmi l
    eshewentupt hestairsand
    openedt hebedr oom doorwal ki
    ngin.Lina
    j
    umpedof fthebedandl ookedatTashat awho
    wasjustst ar
    ing,frozentoherspot.Wi t
    h
    di
    sbelief,shel aughed.
    “
    Youbast
    ard…”
    Shewatchedhim pi
    ckuphispantsfr
    om the
    fl
    oorandputthem onunder
    neaththesheet
    s.
    Li
    nawalkedov er
    .
    “
    Tashai
    t’
    snotwhaty
    out
    hink.
    ”
    “Iwi
    llpunchyousohar dyouwil
    lfai
    nt.Af
    ter
    ever
    ythingmymot herhasdoneforyou,t
    hisi
    s
    howy ourepayher?Yousnake!NowIseewhy
    shejustnevercl
    i
    ckedwi t
    hyou.”
    “
    Tasha!
    ”
    Shel ookedatherfather.“
    Youwon’tstop
    sleepingwithyourson’spart
    nerswil
    lyou?Just
    l
    ikey ousleptwit
    hAbe’ sgir
    lf
    ri
    endthatti
    meand
    madeTi notaket hefallf
    orit
    .Thisti
    mear ound,I
    am goingtotell
    .Abei sgoingtoknowt hatyou
    aretheonewhodest r
    oyedthatrel
    ati
    onshipof
    hisnothisbrother,andheisgoingtoknowt hat
    youaresleepingwi ththi
    sinfer
    ti
    lesl
    ut.”
    Takusteppeddowninhispant
    s.“
    Doy
    ouwant
    todest
    roythi
    sfamil
    y?”
    “Yes.Becausethi
    sfamilyi
    sal i
    e.You
    destroy
    editbecauseyoucan’tkeepiti
    nyour
    pants.Iam tel
    li
    ngAbe.”Tashatatookher
    phoneanddi al
    edAbe’
    snumber .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #25
    “Abe,i
    t’
    sTasha.
    ”Shewalkedoutandwent
    outsi
    detohercarwher
    eshelockedher
    sel
    f
    i
    nside.
    “
    Bambi
    …”
    Tashal
    aughed.“CanIpl
    easeout
    growt
    hat
    name?Iam agrownwoman. ”
    “
    Bambi
    !Youar
    eback,
    howi
    sAunt
    y?”
    “Wet ookhertothehospital
    ,sheisget t
    inghelp
    sothat’sposi
    ti
    ve.Thereissomet hi
    ngIneedt o
    tel
    lyou.Idon’
    tknowi fIam makingt her i
    ght
    deci
    sionbutwhatIknowi sthatIcan’tkeep
    secretsanymore.”
    “
    Whati
    sit
    ?”
    “
    Remembert
    hatt
    imey
    ouwer
    edat
    ingThabi
    l
    e?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    AndTi
    nosl
    eptwi
    thher
    ?”
    “
    Iremembert
    hatBambi
    …”
    Tashatookadeepbr eathwhil
    eherheart
    pounded.“I
    twasDad.Hesl eptwi
    thher.Ti
    no
    caughtthem, butthenyoushowedupathome
    andhemani pulatedTinoint
    otaki
    ngthefall
    for
    i
    ttoprotectthefami l
    y.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “Ti
    nodidn’tsleepwi t
    hThabi
    l
    e.Itwasyourown
    fat
    her.Tinotoldmet heti
    mey ouwerenot
    tal
    ki
    ngt ohim, that
    ’swhyheisdist
    antwi
    th
    every
    one.”
    “
    Tashat
    a,don’
    tpl
    ayl
    i
    ket
    hat
    .”
    “
    Ihav
    enor
    easont
    oli
    e.Mamadoesn’
    tknow.
    ”
    “
    Fuck!
    ”
    “Heissleepi
    ngwi
    thLi
    na.Icaughtt
    hem.Iam
    Tendai
    ’shousewher
    etheyare.
    ”
    “
    Leav
    e.”
    “
    Huh?
    ”
    “Getoutofthere.Iam sendingyoumyhouse
    address,
    Tinoiswi thgrannyandtheyhavewent
    tothehospit
    al.From theretheyar
    egoinghome,
    youandIwi l
    lgot ogether.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Shehungupt
    henr
    ever
    sedout
    .

    *
    **

    Takuwat
    chedhi
    sdaught
    erdr
    ivi
    ngof
    fthen
    qui
    ckl
    yputonhi
    sshoes.
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyougoi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Shei
    sgoi
    ngt
    otel
    lherbr
    other
    s.”
    “
    Youknewt
    hatwasgoi
    ngt
    ohappen.
    ”
    “
    Yesbutnotl
    i
    ket
    his.
    ”
    Linagr
    abbedhi
    shand.“Daddyt
    her
    eisnot
    hing
    youcandotostopher
    ,sheseemsdet
    ermi
    ned
    totel
    l
    , t
    hisi
    syourchancetocomecleant
    oyour
    famil
    y.That
    ’si
    fyoustil
    lwantusbuti
    fnot
    ,Iwi
    ll
    underst
    and.
    ”
    “Il
    oveyoubutit’
    snotonlyaboutme.Iam a
    respect
    edmanandt hereiswayt odealwith
    thi
    sissues.Gi
    na’
    smot heristhere,
    Iknowwhat
    IwantandIam goingtogof oritbutIneedto
    becareful
    .”
    Li
    nanodded.“
    Youar
    eri
    ght
    .IguessIam j
    ust
    scar
    ed.
    ”
    “Wearei nt
    hist
    ogether
    .”Takuki
    ssedherthen
    ranoutwhileLi
    nasatonherbed,awav eofgui
    lt
    hither
    .Herphonerangthenshesighed
    answering.
    “
    Hi.
    .”
    “
    Hi,
    yourr
    esul
    tsar
    eback.
    ”
    Herhear
    tski
    pped.“
    And?
    ”
    “
    Youcan’
    thav
    eki
    dsLi
    na.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “Yes,youcan’thaveki
    dsbecausey
    ouhave
    polycy
    sticovarySyndr
    ome,PCOS,i
    thappens
    whent herei
    si mbal
    ancei
    n-“
    “
    Idon’
    tunder
    stand,
    thepr
    obl
    em i
    sme?
    ”
    “
    Yes,y
    ouneedt
    ocomebacksot
    hatwecanr
    un
    moret
    est
    s.”
    Herkneesgotweakt
    henshesl
    owl
    ysatdown.

    *
    **

    Iwalkedoutoft
    hebui
    ldi
    ngandwentst
    rai
    ghtt
    o
    thecarwhereAbewaswait
    ingf
    orme.
    “
    Howdi
    ditgo?
    ”
    “
    Sheli
    keditandshesai
    dtheywoul
    dgetbackat
    mebutsheli
    kedit
    .Shesai
    dit’
    sabri
    ll
    i
    anti
    dea.
    ”
    Abesmi
    l
    edandhuggedher
    .“See,
    youwer
    e
    f
    reaki
    ngoutf
    ornot
    hing?
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Shewasr
    eal
    l
    yfr
    iendl
    y.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    ldr
    opy
    ouhome?
    ”
    “Ihaveacli
    ent,
    Ibroughtmychangingclothes.
    Shewant st
    oplaitr
    eall
    ylongbrai
    ds.Icooked
    dinner
    ,it
    ’si
    nthefri
    dge.Iwil
    lbedoneabi tlat
    e.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Itookoffmypantsandputonmyj eansand
    sneaker
    sthentookofftheblazer
    .Abet ookoff
    asIgavehim di
    rect
    ionstothehouse.Awhi l
    e
    l
    aterIgotmyhandbag.
    “
    Ify
    ouar
    etoobusy
    ,youcanbr
    ingMal
    cher
    e.”
    “
    Cany
    our
    elax?Igott
    his…”
    “
    Ok,
    bye.
    ”
    Hepul
    ledmeforaki
    ssthenletmest epout
    wit
    hmybagandplast
    icoftheproductsIsol
    d.
    Myphonevi
    brat
    edfr
    om mypockett hentookit
    out
    .
    Abe:
    Ilov
    eyou…
    It
    urnedandsmi
    l
    edwav
    ingathi
    m.

    *
    **

    Abedrovetohi
    shousethenparkedatthegate
    besi
    desTasha’
    s.Tashasteppedoutthengoti
    n
    hi
    scar.Shehuggedhim wit
    hasmi l
    e.
    “
    Hey
    ,Imi
    ssedy
    ou.
    ”
    Abechuckl
    ed.“
    Youl
    ookgr
    own.
    ”
    Shel
    aughed.“
    BecauseIam.
    ”
    “IspoketoTi
    no,
    yourfat
    heri
    shomewi
    tht
    hem
    sowear egoi
    ngther
    e.”
    “Idon’
    twantt
    obet
    her
    easonf
    orf
    ight
    sand
    dri
    fts.
    ”
    “Ther
    earealway
    sdri
    ft
    sBambi,Ican’
    tbel
    i
    ev e
    outofal
    lthewomanhechosehisson’
    swife.
    Hi
    sson’
    swi
    fe!
    ”
    “Wecan’ tbl
    amehim onl
    y,Li
    naisasnake,I
    can’tbel
    ieveshewoulddothi
    stomamaaf t
    er
    everythi
    ng.NowIam notsurei
    feverIwil
    lbe
    abletolookatanywomananyofmybr ot
    hers
    bri
    ngt hesamewayIwoul dhavedonebefore
    thi
    s.”
    “Don’tpaintevery
    onewi ththesamebr ush.
    Otherpeopl earetot
    all
    ydi f
    fer
    ent.Iper
    sonall
    y,I
    don’twantf amil
    ymember swhomakemy
    womanf eeluncomfortableortr
    yanyfunny
    thi
    ngswi thher.”
    Tashasmil
    ed.“
    Ok,Iwon’
    ttr
    eatEazi
    any
    di
    ffer
    ent
    .Mycarcanstay
    ,Iwil
    lseei
    twhenI
    comeback.
    ”
    Abest art
    edthecaranddr oveoff
    .Hisanger
    slowlyescal
    atedashepar kedbesideshi
    s
    father
    ’scart
    henst eppedout.I
    nsidethehouse
    hewal kedovertohisgrandmother.
    “
    Nkuku…”
    Hisgrandmotherl
    aughed.“
    Abedi
    le,howar
    ey ou?
    Whenar eyougett
    ingmarri
    ed?Youragemates
    havekidsalr
    eady.
    ”
    Abel
    aughed.“
    Soon.
    ”
    “Howsooni ssoon?Youarenotgett
    ingany
    younger.Otherpeopl
    ehav el
    ongstar
    tedthei
    r
    famil
    ies.Youcan’tj
    ustwanttokickaball
    all
    yourli
    fe,eventhosefoot
    ball
    play
    ershavewives
    andkids.”
    “
    Iam marr
    yingheri
    nacoupl
    emont hsnkuku,
    I
    j
    usthav
    etosortsomet
    hingoutf
    ir
    st.”
    “
    Whatareyousor t
    ing?Youaregrowingold,
    t
    hereisnoti
    met obesorti
    ngany t
    hing.Idon’
    t
    wanttodi
    ewi t
    houtseei
    ngmygr andkids,al
    lof
    youdon’
    tevenhaveasinglechi
    ld.Thereisno
    t
    imeforsort
    ing,y
    ouneedt ogetmar r
    ied.
    ”
    “
    Ehnkuku.
    ”
    Takuwal kedi
    nandlaughed.“Youshoul
    dtel
    l
    them becauseIt
    ri
    edandf ai
    led.
    ”
    “
    Theyneedt
    ogetmar
    ri
    ed.
    ”
    Takusmil
    edthenl
    ookedatAbewhogavehim
    themosti
    ntensel
    ookever
    ,achi
    l
    lrandownhi
    s
    spine.
    “
    Abe,
    canwet
    alk?
    ”
    Abel
    ookedatTi
    no.“
    Come.
    ”
    Theybot
    hfol
    l
    owedaf
    terhi
    sfat
    hert
    ohi
    sof
    fi
    ce.
    “Iknowwhaty oursistertol
    dy ou,sheknows
    whatshesawandIwon’ tevenmakeherf eel
    stupi
    df oritbecausewhatshesawwas
    accurate.OfcauseIwoul dn’thavewantedy ou
    orany oneelset ofindoutl i
    ket hi
    sbutnowI
    havet otaker esponsi bi
    li
    tyformyact i
    ons.I
    cheatedony ourmot herandal lf
    orareason.
    Tendai ’
    smar riageisf al
    li
    ngapar tandheneeds
    achild,Iaskedbot hofy ouandy ourefusedsoI
    wasl eft
    -“
    Abeangri
    lyswunghisfi
    stathisfat
    herand
    punchedhimthatTakustagger
    edbackwithhi
    s
    handonhisjaw.
    “That’
    sf ornotappr eciati
    ngwhaty ouhav e.My
    mot herhasbeennot hingbutagoodwomant o
    youandt hi
    sishowy out reather?Bysleepi ng
    withherdaught erin-l
    awi npret
    extoft r
    yingt o
    helpy ourson.Eveni fy ouwantedt ohelpso
    badlybymaki nghercar r
    yTendai’ssibl
    ing,
    couldn’tyoudoI VF?Youar esi
    ck!Wi t
    hThabi le,
    howwer eyoutryingt ohel pme?”
    Tinosatdowni
    nsi
    l
    enceasAbef
    umedst
    ari
    ng
    athisfat
    her
    .
    “
    Abedi
    l
    e,Iam st
    il
    lyour
    -“
    Abepunchedhim again,t
    histi
    meTakuf el
    lto
    thefl
    oor.“
    Fuckthatshit
    !Idon’
    tknowy ou,you
    aredeadtome.Youhav ehurtmymot herso
    much,Iknowthereasonshei sinhospitali
    s
    you.Youandyourgirl
    fri
    endprobabl
    ypl anned
    thistogetheroutofthewaysoyoucanfuck
    freelyi
    nherhouse.Youpreachonethi
    ngand
    dot heother
    .Mymot heri
    snotcomingback
    here.”
    Abewalkedoutsl
    ammi ngthedoorbehi
    ndhi
    m
    thenTi
    nolookedathi
    sf at
    her
    .
    “Isn’titfunnyhowt hemostqui et
    estofy our
    kidshav ejusthadenoughofy ou?Iwaitedso
    thathecanseef orhimself.Youhav ehurtalot
    ofpeopl e,Istil
    ldon’tunderstandwhy ,may be
    mamadoesn’ tgivey ouenoughorwhat everbut
    aren’ty out heoneal wayspr eachingabout
    wal kingawaywhennol ongerhappy ?You
    shoul dputpr acti
    ceintoyourwor ds
    somet imes. ”
    Ti
    nostoodupandwalkedoutl
    eav
    inghi
    sfat
    her
    st
    ruggl
    i
    ngtogetup.

    *
    **
    Moemedi
    stoodbesi
    deThatoastheywai
    tedf
    or
    t
    heChi
    nesemantobringt
    heirmoney.
    “Sowhatar
    eyougoi
    ngtodowi
    tht
    hemoney
    sincenowy
    ouaremovi
    ng?”
    “Iam t
    hinki
    ngofget
    tingfur
    nit
    urewi
    thitand
    somewor kclot
    hes,
    Ialsowanttogi
    veEaziabi
    t
    sothatshecanbuyMal col
    m somet
    hing.
    ”
    TheChinesemanwal
    kedbackandhandedt
    hen
    eachanenvel
    ope.
    “
    Allmoneyi
    nside.Youwor
    kni
    ce,
    Igi
    vey
    ouni
    ce
    money.Nocheati
    ng.”
    Moemedi
    openedt
    heenv
    elopeandcount
    edt
    he
    money
    .
    Thatoshookhi
    shead.“
    Butthi
    sisnotwhatwe
    agreedon.Wefi
    xedwhereyoudi
    dn’tl
    i
    ke,you
    shouldgi
    veusourmoney!
    ”
    Moemedi
    fini
    shedcount
    ingt
    hemoneyand
    si
    ghed.
    “Nonono,Ibuymor ematerialf
    orfixi
    ng.Itake
    fr
    om yourmoney.Youdogoodj ob,nomistakes,
    ever
    ythi
    ngperf
    ect,Igivey
    ouf ul
    l money.But
    youmakemi st
    ake,Itakefr
    om yourmoney .”
    “
    Whatdoyoumeany out
    akefrom ourmoney
    ,
    whydi
    dn’
    tyousayt
    hatbefor
    e?”
    “
    Mebusy
    …”
    TheChinesemangotint
    heNi
    ssanNoahand
    droveoffl
    eavi
    ngthet
    womanstandi
    ng.That
    o
    shookhishead.
    “
    Ican’
    tbeli
    evethi
    s,Ipr
    omisedmmagweBabedi
    moneyandthismanjustgavemehal
    fofwhat
    weagreedon.
    ”
    “
    Iknewhewasgoi
    ngt
    odot
    his.
    ”
    Thatosatdownonthegroundandcover
    edhi
    s
    face.“Thi
    smoneywassupposedtocome
    throughforme,
    sheisgoi
    ngtoleav
    emenow.”
    “Icanbor
    rowy
    ousome.Youwi
    l
    lal
    way
    spayi
    t
    back.”
    “Theotherdayshesaidshewant edtobelike
    otherwoment hennowIseeherconst antl
    y
    tal
    kingandlaughingwiththel
    andlor
    d.Shesay s
    theyarejustfr
    iendsbutshehasanewhai rst
    yle,
    sheisn’
    twor ki
    ngandt her
    eisnowher eshe
    couldhavegottenthemoney .
    ”
    “
    Iknowhowt hatfeel
    s,Iwil
    lbor
    rowyouabit
    ,I
    wi
    llj
    ustgetbasi
    ct hi
    ngsfornowti
    l
    lIgetpai
    d.”
    Moemedi
    ’
    sphoner
    ang.“
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi,
    arey
    ouf
    reet
    oday
    ?Iwast
    hinki
    ngIcanv
    isi
    t
    y
    ou.”
    “
    That
    ’sf
    inebutIwantt
    odosomeshoppi
    ngf
    or
    mynewhouse.
    ”
    “
    Ohyes,Icanhel
    p.Ihav
    eacar ,
    itwi
    l
    lmake
    mov
    ingaroundmuchbetter
    .”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Iam atBr
    oadhur
    st.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iam comi
    ng.
    ”
    Hehungupwi t
    hasmilethenThatostoodup
    chuckl
    ingwithhisr
    eddi
    shey es.“
    Ist
    hatthe
    beauti
    fulone?”
    “
    Yes,shei
    scomingt
    opi
    ckmeup,
    Iwi
    l
    laskher
    t
    ogiv
    ey oual
    if
    t.
    ”
    “
    Sowhichonedoy
    ouwantbet
    weenbot
    hof
    t
    hem?
    ”
    “Iam notsurebutIwantt
    okeepbothofthem
    forawhi l
    esothatIcandeci
    deonceIgetto
    knowt hem bet
    ter
    .”
    “
    Don’
    tgetcaught
    .”
    “
    Iwon’
    t.
    ”
    Thet
    womenl
    aughedwai
    ti
    ng.
    *
    **

    Lat
    erthatdayIfi
    nishedwi
    thmycli
    ent
    ’sbr
    aids.
    Shelookedather
    selfonhermi
    rr
    orandsmiled.
    “
    Wow!I
    t’
    sbeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    “
    Your
    eal
    l
    yknowy
    ourt
    hing,
    Ilov
    eit
    .”
    Shestoodupwi
    thasmi
    l
    e.“
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    lgoandget
    yourmoney.
    ”
    “
    Uhwher
    eisy
    ourbat
    hroom?
    ”
    “
    Comei
    nsi
    de.
    ”
    Ifoll
    owedaft
    erherfeel
    ingmyperi
    odcramps.
    Insi
    dethebathr
    oom, It
    ookoffmypant
    iesand
    l
    ookedatthesmal l
    bloodstai
    nonmypant i
    es.I
    sighedandpeedthenwalkedout
    .Thecli
    ent
    handedmemymoney .
    “
    Thanky
    ousomuchEazi
    ,Iknowi
    nyour
    condi
    ti
    oni
    tmusthav
    ebeenhar
    dbuty
    ou
    managed.
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    edconf
    used.“
    Mycondi
    ti
    on?
    ”
    “
    Iam y ourmother
    ’sageEazi
    ,Iknowt
    hese
    t
    hings.Howf arar
    eyou?”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Iam notpr
    egnant
    .”
    “
    Yesy
    ouar
    e.”
    “
    Iam onmyper
    iod.
    ”
    “
    Sincewhen?
    ”
    “
    Today
    .”
    Thel
    adysmi
    l
    ed.“
    Ok.Icandr
    opy
    ouof
    f.
    ”
    “Ial
    readyt
    ext
    edsomeonet
    ocomeandpi
    ckme
    up.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Justt
    henAbedr
    ovei
    nthey
    ard.
    “
    Okby
    e…”
    Thel
    adywav
    ed.“
    ByeEazi
    .”
    Iwal
    kedtothecarwi
    thmyt
    hingsandgoti
    n.
    Abekissedme.
    “
    Heybabe…”
    “
    Hey,Iam sot
    ir
    ed.Myper
    iodcamesodr
    ive
    f
    ast
    er.”
    “
    Ibr
    oughty
    ouf
    ood.
    ”
    “Iam f
    ine,Iam notf
    eel
    i
    ngt
    oogood.If
    eel
    consti
    pated.”
    “Wecanpassbyt
    hephar
    macyandgety
    ou
    somethi
    ng.
    ”
    Hedrov
    et othenear
    byphar
    macyandst
    epped
    outwhi
    leItookmyphoneandcal
    l
    edOntl
    a.
    “
    Eazi
    …”
    Tear
    sfi
    l
    ledmyey
    es.“
    Ithi
    nkIam pr
    egnant
    .”
    “
    Whoi
    sitf
    or?
    ”
    “
    Abe,
    hewon’
    tusepr
    otect
    ionandIl
    asthadsex
    wi
    thMoemediwaybackandweal
    way
    sused
    pr
    otect
    ion.
    ”
    “
    Didy
    out
    ell
    him?
    ”
    “Idon’twantt
    hischil
    d,Iam st
    art
    ingmy
    businessandthischi
    ldwil
    lbeast epback.I
    wantanabor t
    ion.”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #26

    “Idon’
    topposeyoudoingwhatyoufeeli
    sright,
    Iam agai
    nstyouhavingki
    dswithever
    yman
    youmeet,youbarel
    yknowAbe, i
    t’
    sonlybeen
    what?Threeweeks?Threeweeksofyouget t
    ing
    toknowhi m andi nt hoset hreeweeksy ouar e
    stayingwi thhimt oget herwi t
    hy ourson.Iwant
    yourbusi nessi deatopr ospersot hatyoucan
    affordt ost aywi thyoursonaty ourownpl ace,
    youcan’ tbeawi f
    etoAbewheny ouar ejusta
    mer egi rl
    friend.AndIunder standt hatthe
    pregnancywi llbeasetback, havingchi l
    dr ight
    nowespeci allyinyoursi tuat i
    oni snott hebest
    i
    deabuthedeser vestoknow.Hedeser vest o
    nowt hathel eftababyi nsidey ouandy ouwer e
    bothi rr
    esponsi bleenought onotgi veyou
    any t
    hingaf ter,youcan’ tblamei tal lonAbeEazi ,
    youshoul dhav etakeny ourcont r
    acept i
    v es.If
    youdon’ twantachi ldy oupr event ,youcan’ t
    hav eunpr otectedsexsot hatt omor rowy ou
    scream f oranabor t
    ion.Butt hat’snoti mpor t
    ant
    now, discussi twithAbe, heseemsl i
    kean
    under standi ngguy .”
    “Hewon’
    tagr
    eet
    oanabor
    ti
    on,
    hewant
    sa
    baby
    .”
    “Thenwhatnow?Youwanttogobehindhis
    back?Heseemsnicebuthewil
    lki
    l
    lyou.”
    Isi
    ghed.“
    Ilovehi
    m butIam justscar
    ed.
    Moemediwasn’tbadthefir
    stti
    meImethi m.
    Hewasnice,hewascaring.”
    “
    Abei
    snotMoemedi
    ,don’
    tcompar
    ethem.
    ”
    “
    Iam sacr
    ed.
    ”
    “Met oo, eversincethedi v
    orce,Idon’twantto
    beinar el ati
    onshipagain,whatIendur edinthat
    rel
    ationshi pleftabitt
    ertastei
    nmymout h.Iam
    scaredofbei nghurt.Whenamanst art
    s
    cheating, somet hi
    ngchangesabouthi m.Till
    todayIcan’ tbel i
    eveIenduredallthatabusei n
    thenameofmar ri
    age.Butdon’tbel i
    keme,
    don’tloseadi amondt ry
    ingtofindthedirtoni t
    .
    May bet hisonei sclean,cheri
    shit.
    ”
    “Moemedi
    gotaj
    ob,
    heexpect
    edmet
    ocome
    backt
    hen.
    ”
    Ont
    lal
    aughed.“
    Hei
    sful
    lofhi
    msel
    f.
    ”
    “Somet i
    mesIt hinkmay beInev erl
    ovedhim,but
    j
    ustt hathewast hereformeandhebecame
    mycomf ortzone.It’sdiff
    erentwithAbe, t
    hat
    mani sar ealman.Whenhesay ssomet hi
    ng,he
    meansi t.Heisnotr oughandt oodomi nant
    unlessofcausewheni tcomest osexbutheis
    j
    ust ….Ahh,hehast hatthing.
    ”
    Ont
    lal
    aughed.“Thatgr
    rrr
    r!Iknowwhaty
    ou
    mean,
    Isawittoo.”
    “
    Whenhesay shegotit
    ,hemeansit
    .Hedoes
    whathesay s.Thewayhehandlessame
    matters,i
    t’
    sjustaturnon.Ev
    erhadaman
    whispersweetthingswhil
    emovinghi
    swaist
    i
    ntoy ou?GodAbe! ”
    Ontl
    alaughedharder.“
    Wagor engmosi
    mane
    wamokwer ekwere!Ebi
    legat
    weGodAbe?
    (Whatistheforei
    gnmandoingt oy
    ou?Youar
    e
    nowev ensayingGodAbe?)”
    “
    Ont
    ir
    adi
    l
    o,(
    Hei
    sdoi
    ngt
    hingst
    ome,
    )he
    nevercomest omeempt yhanded, Ilovethe
    wayhel ooksatmesomet i
    mes, thereisalways
    somet hinginhiseyes…Ont laIam falli
    nginlove.
    Heismaki ngmet astetheloveInev erknew
    couldexi st
    .Heisaddictedtosex, notaday
    goeswi thouthimtakingit,
    hedoesn’ task, he
    j
    ustt akesitbecausehel ovesit
    .Heev entold
    me, arennaker atasex.(Hesaidhel ovessex.)
    ”
    “
    Mosi
    manewaFoschi
    ni!(
    TheFoschi
    niman!
    )”
    Webot hl
    aughed.“ Hewi l
    lputmyl egonhi s
    shoulderthensinkinstaringatmet hensay sI
    l
    ovey ou.RightthatmomentIknowt hatifit
    s
    Satanism Iam beingini
    tiatedinto,
    Iwon’ tsay
    no.Ont l
    adickemonat ekana, (Ont
    ladi ckis
    del
    icious,
    )hewi ll
    fucky ou,youwi l
    lfeel l
    ike
    cry
    ing.Heknowshi sstuff,thenhisexsay sshe
    al
    sowant s.
    ”
    “
    Want
    swhat
    ?”
    “
    Dick,
    kar
    enosi
    s,notont
    hisone.Godgav
    eme
    t
    hisone.
    ”
    “
    Shei
    scr
    azy
    .”
    “Shewasbusybangingonthedoor,hedi
    dn’tl
    et
    herdist
    urbus,
    heconti
    nuedpoundingint
    ome
    sendingmetoheavenandback,t
    hatmani s
    goingtodri
    vemetohell
    .”
    “Youknowwhattheysay
    ,al
    lgoodboysgot
    o
    heaven,
    yourt
    ypewill
    bri
    ngi
    ttoyou.
    ”
    “Nnammakemomar at
    ong.Guyy ee
    danger
    ous.Ngwanay oleontwistaint
    esti
    ne.(
    I
    am i
    nlove.Thi
    sguyi sdangerous.Thatchi
    ldi
    s
    twi
    sti
    ngmyi nt
    erst
    ines.)
    ”
    “
    Koor
    eot
    hubamar
    ato!
    ”
    “
    He’
    scomi
    ng.Wewi
    l
    ltal
    k.”
    “Tel
    lhim,youwil
    lbot
    hdi
    scussawayforwar
    d.
    Don’tsayabor
    ti
    on,hewi
    l
    lgettur
    nedof
    f.
    ”
    “
    Shar
    p.”
    Abegoti
    nsi
    det
    hecarhol
    dingapl
    ast
    icf
    rom t
    he
    phar
    macy
    .
    “
    Igoty
    ousomet
    hing.Fory
    ourconst
    ipat
    ion.
    ”
    “
    Thanks.Wher
    eisMal
    col
    m?”
    Hest
    art
    edt
    hecaranddr
    oveof
    f.
    “Malcol
    miswit
    hTi
    no,
    wear
    epassi
    ngbyt
    o
    col
    lecthi
    m.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hi
    sphoner
    angt
    heheanswer
    edwi
    thonehand.
    “Yeah?
    ..
    .Iwi
    llcal
    lyouback.
    ”Hehungupwi
    tha
    sighwhil
    eIt
    ookoutmymedi cat
    ion.

    *
    **

    Linalayonherbedwi thahugebl
    anketoverher
    headcr yi
    ngsil
    ent
    ly.Shehadbeenlyi
    ngther
    e
    fortheentir
    edayandherheartwasstil
    l
    breaking.Nowitwascleart
    hatLona’
    sbaby
    wasTendai’
    s.Herphonev
    ibr
    atedr
    angt
    henshe
    r
    eachedforit
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Li
    na,
    thetradi
    ti
    onalheal
    erj
    ustcal
    ledme,he
    saysyouhaven’
    tgiv
    enhimthebalanceyet
    .”
    “
    Andwher
    edi
    dhegety
    ournumberKgar
    ebe?
    ”
    “
    Iwentt
    ohi
    mtheot
    hert
    imeal
    sowant
    inghel
    p.”
    “Youandy
    ourt
    radi
    ti
    onal
    heal
    erscammedme
    andyouar
    egoi
    ngtoregr
    eti
    t.
    ”
    “
    Whatar
    eyousay
    ing?Whywoul
    dIdot
    hat
    ?”
    “
    Thepr
    obl
    em i
    snotTendai
    ,thepr
    obl
    em i
    sme.
    ”
    “Buthedi
    dsaythatyoucan’
    tcar
    rypr
    egnancy
    ,
    hedidn’
    tli
    etoy
    ou.”
    “
    Youthi
    nkIam st
    upi
    d,Iam goi
    ngt
    osendy
    ou
    t
    opri
    son.
    ”
    “Youareful
    lofi
    tLi
    na,youdon’
    tappreci
    ate
    beinghel
    ped.Youdeser
    vetobealone,Ihope
    Tendai
    leav
    esy
    ouf
    orgood.
    ”
    “Leaveswho?Bi tchTendai i
    smyhusband, I
    wouldr at
    herbechi l
    dlessrat
    herthanbeinga
    diseaseholderli
    key ouwith5kidswithall
    diff
    erentfather
    s!Youar esoret
    arded,youcan’t
    compar etomeandIam goi ngtoshowy out
    hat
    whenIhav eyouthrownbehindbar s.
    ”
    Li
    nahungupf umingthentext
    edTakubuthe
    didn’
    trespond.Tear
    sblurr
    edhervi
    siont
    hen
    shecov er
    edherfacecryi
    ng.

    *
    **

    Tashasmiledstar
    ingatMoemediashewal
    ked
    backtothecarwiththenewhai
    rcut
    .Hegot
    i
    nsideandsmiledmakingherl
    augh.
    “
    Youl
    ookmuchbet
    ter
    .”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Youshouldneverkeepanaf
    ro,youl
    ookl
    i
    kea
    mispl
    aceduncl
    efrom t
    he60’
    s.”
    Hel
    aughed.“
    Not
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Wecangonow?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Igotal
    lIneed.
    ”
    Tashast art
    edt hecaranddr ov ebackto
    Moemedi ’
    ssmal lhouse, shewasact ually
    rel
    ievedthathewoul dbemov ingtoanice
    houset houghshedi dunder standthe
    cir
    cumst ancesofst ay i
    ngint het i
    nyroom.He
    walkedwi ththeirt
    akeaway sinsidewhileshe
    fol
    lowedwi ththeirdrinks,atleastitwasclean.
    Itwasasi fawomanl ivedinsidebutheseemed
    l
    ikeahar dwor ker.
    “
    Yourhousei
    scl
    ean.
    ”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    Tashagott
    hepl
    atesandputt
    hetakeaway
    s
    i
    nside.“
    So,
    doyouhaveanyki
    ds?
    ”
    “Yes,one.Myson,heisf
    ivebutmybabymama
    won’tletmeseehim,shewentwit
    hhimtoher
    newr i
    chboyfr
    iendonthedayIwassupposed
    topayherbri
    depr i
    ce.
    ”
    “
    Wow!
    ”
    “Buti
    t’
    sok,Iunderstandwhyshewoul dl eave
    forabett
    erman.Icoul dn’
    tdoany thingforher,
    andontopoft hatIwasn’tthebestmant oher
    soIunderst
    andwhyshel eft.Nowt hatIam
    worki
    ngIcanf i
    nall
    ysuppor tmysonf i
    nancial
    ly
    andthenmay beshewi lll
    ethim seeme. ”
    “Ihopesot
    oo.Iwoul
    dn’
    twantanyf
    atherbei
    ng
    deniedt
    heri
    ghtt
    oseehiski
    ds.
    ”
    Moemedi lookedinhereyesbri
    efl
    yandl ooked
    down, shemadehi mfeel
    t ooshyitact
    uall
    yfel
    t
    stupi
    d.Tashat ookbot
    htheirpl
    atesandput
    them aside.
    “
    Ihavebeenhur
    tbef
    ore,t
    hisissecondy
    ear
    wi
    thoutamaninmyli
    fe.Il
    ikeyoubutwedon’
    t
    hav
    etobeany
    thi
    ngot
    hert
    hanf
    ri
    ends.
    ”
    “
    Ili
    key
    out
    oo.
    ”
    Tashasmi ledthenl eanedov erandkissedhim.
    Shepushedhi m onhi sbackget t
    ingont opof
    her,
    ithadbeent i
    mesi nceshehadsomet hi
    ng
    downt hereandherbodyy earnedforit
    .Aloud
    knockinterrupt
    edt hem.
    “Moemedi
    !Opent
    hedoor
    !’Bi
    nabangedont
    he
    door
    .
    Tashal
    ookedathi
    m.“
    Who’
    sthat
    ?”
    “It
    ’smyneighbor’
    sdaughter ,
    shei st
    heonewho
    broughtthejobadver
    tisementt omeand
    helpedmeappl ywit
    hherl aptop,nowshefeel
    s
    sinceshehelpedme, Ihavetobei na
    relat
    ionshi
    pwithher.
    ”
    “
    OhhIgeti
    t.Shei
    sthatt
    ype?
    ”
    “Yes,Iwil
    lsendheraway,
    Ijustwantt
    odoi
    t
    nicel
    ysinceshehelpedmesomuch. ”
    “
    It
    ’sok.
    ”
    Moemedist
    oodupandwentout
    sidecl
    osi
    ng
    t
    hedoorbehi
    ndhi
    m.
    “
    Whyar
    eyoucomi
    ngout
    ?Iwantt
    ogeti
    nsi
    de.
    ”
    “
    Shh,
    youar
    eshout
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Whoi
    sinsi
    deMoemedi
    ?”
    “
    It
    ’smyuncl
    e.”
    Binafr
    owned.“
    Thi
    scarl
    ooksl
    i
    ket
    hatgi
    rl
    ’s
    car.
    ”
    “Iknow,theyar
    esi
    mil
    arbuti
    t’
    smyuncl
    e.We
    arediscussi
    ngani
    mport
    antmatt
    er.
    ”
    “
    Oh.
    .Iam sor
    ry,
    Ithoughti
    twasy
    ouknow…”
    “It
    oldyouIjustmether
    ,shewon’
    tcomeback
    here.Youneedtotr
    ustme.”
    Shesmi
    l
    edandki
    ssedhi
    m.“
    Iam sor
    ry…”
    “Iwill
    call
    youaf t
    erheisgoneormay
    behewi
    l
    l
    sleep,Iam notsure.
    ”
    “
    Ok.Iwi
    l
    lwai
    t.
    ”
    Shetur
    nedandwalkawayshaki
    ngherfatass.
    Moemeditookadeepbreat
    handwalkedback
    i
    nsidet
    hehouse.
    “
    Isshegone?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”

    *
    **

    Lonasputherbagsinhercarthenj
    umpedinat
    thefr
    ont
    .Shefixedherrear
    viewmir
    rorandt
    ook
    herri
    ngi
    ngphone.
    “
    Mama…”
    “
    Whathappened?
    ”
    “
    Sheissui
    ngmef or50K.Iknowshejustwants
    t
    oseemewi t
    hnothingandthat
    ’sfi
    ne.Ial
    ready
    f
    oundabuyerfort
    hecarsoIhaveenought o
    payherout
    sidecourt
    .Hei
    sgoingt
    otaket
    he
    cari
    nGhanzi.Iam onmyway
    .”
    “
    Dri
    vi
    ngatni
    ghti
    snotsaf
    e.”
    “Ican’
    tkeepsleepingatthelodge,i
    t’
    s
    expensive.Iam j
    ustgl
    adt hatshoptook
    everyt
    hing.Iam happy.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    lwai
    t.
    ”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Shehungupt
    hencal
    l
    edLi
    na.
    “
    Whatdoy
    ouwant
    ?”
    “
    Iwanttosol
    vei
    toutofcour
    t.Ihav
    eyour
    money
    .”
    “Youar ecrazy,youthinkIwil
    lj
    ustletyougo
    j
    ustlikethat,i
    fy ouwantmet osolveitoutof
    courtthenabor tthatbaby,
    youhavehur tmeso
    much, theleasty oucandoisabortthebaby.I
    won’tsuey ouify oudo.”
    “
    Iam notki
    l
    li
    ngmybaby
    .Iam keepi
    ngt
    hisbaby
    ,
    Godwi
    l
    lseemet
    hrough.
    ”
    “Lonaswhyar
    ey oudoingthi
    s?Youjustwantt
    o
    destroymymarr
    iage,
    whatdidIdot oyou?You
    sleptwit
    hmyhusband…y ousleptwi
    thTendai
    ,
    why ?”
    LonaslistenedtoLi nacryi
    ng.“Iam sorr
    ybutit
    washi sidea,hesai dhewoul dgivememoney
    aft
    erIgav ebirt
    ht hengivey outhebabybutnow
    Iknowy ouwi ll
    hur tmychild.Youhatemeand
    wil
    lprobablyhat ethisbaby.Iam notabort
    ing
    him orher,Iwil
    lnotki l
    lmychi l
    d.I
    fthismeans
    youwi l
    lhatemef orevert
    hensobei t.”
    “
    Wellgetr
    eadyt oseey ournudesalloversocial
    medi
    a.AndIam goi ngtodragy ournamei nthe
    mud,
    y ouwil
    lregretit
    .”
    “
    Dowhatmakesy
    ouhappy
    .”
    Lonashungupthenst
    art
    edt hecaranddr
    ove
    offl
    ist
    eni
    ngtoAli
    ci
    aKeys,it
    ’sonagainwhi
    le
    si
    ngingal
    ong.Shesmi
    ledrel
    axing.
    *
    **

    Laterthatnightaft
    erputti
    ngMal ctobed,I
    watchedamov i
    ecuddledwi t
    hAbei nonlymy
    panti
    eswi t
    hmyheadonhi schest.Icl
    osedmy
    eyesfeelingsli
    ghtcrampst hensighedtear
    ful
    l
    y.
    Icouldn’timaginebeingpregnantwhil
    eatsame
    ti
    met ryi
    ngt omanagemybusi ness.
    “
    Ithi
    nkIam pr
    egnant
    .”
    Hepausedmov
    inghi
    shandonmyback.“
    Huh?
    ”
    “
    Ithi
    nkIam pr
    egnant
    .Myper
    iodi
    saweekl
    ate.
    ”
    Hegotofft
    hecouchandl
    ookedatme.“
    Arey
    ou
    ser
    ious?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Fuckbabe!Shi
    t!Ican’
    tbel
    ievethis!
    ”Hepi cked
    meupandt wi
    rl
    edwi t
    hmewhi leIlaughed.He
    putmedownandcov eredhisface.“Ar
    ey ou
    ser
    iousbabe?
    ”
    Il
    aughedastear
    sroll
    eddownmycheeks,
    his
    happi
    nesswasn’
    ttoohar
    dtoseeanditmade
    mehappytoo.
    “
    Yeah.
    .”
    “Fuck!Ican’
    tbel
    iev et
    his.It
    houghtyouwere
    notgoingtosayy esandIwasgoi ngto
    understandbut
    …y ouarepregnant
    ?”Heknel
    t
    downbef oremeandr ubbedmyf l
    atst
    omach.
    “
    Iam not100%sur
    e.”
    “Youar
    epregnant
    ,Icanf
    eel
    itt
    oo.Wear
    e
    goingt
    ohaveababy.”
    Ikneltdownwithhi
    m.“Ilovey
    ouAbebutIam
    scared.Idon’
    tknowhowIgotpregnantbutt
    he
    babyishereandbabiesarebl
    essi
    ngsfrom
    God.”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.Ilov
    eyousomuch,youdon’
    thave
    t
    obescared.Wecandothi
    s,we’
    vegotthi
    s.
    Fuck, Ican’
    tbeli
    evewearegoingt ohaveababy.
    Mal colmisgoingtobesohappy ,heisl
    onely.
    Youdon’ thavetowor r
    yaboutanythi
    ng,Iam
    goingt omarryyouandwear egoingtobea
    fami l
    y,noonewi l
    lsayanyt
    hing.Areyouinpai
    n?
    Arey ouok?”
    “
    Iam fi
    ne.Butdon’
    trai
    sey
    ourhopes,
    Imi
    ghtbe
    wrong.
    ”
    “Youar enotwr ong,wear ehavi
    ngababy,your
    breastaretender,youhav ethesymptoms.
    ”He
    kissedmet henst oodupandpi ckedmeup.
    Insidehisbedroom, helaidmeont hebed
    pulli
    ngoutmypant iesthengotinbet
    weenmy
    l
    egswi thhisbriefsoff.
    “
    Butj
    usti
    ncaseyouarenot
    ,thi
    sisagr
    eatt
    ime
    t
    oact
    uall
    ygety
    oupregnant
    .”
    Heki
    ssedmeagai nmakingmetouchhi
    shard
    di
    ckbefor
    eherubbeditatmyentr
    ancest
    ari
    ng
    atmethenpushedin.
    “
    Fuck!
    ”
    Iopenedmyl
    egswi
    derandl
    ethi
    m makel
    ove
    tome.

    6MONTHSLATER
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #27

    6MONTHSLATER

    I
    ncour
    t,Mapul
    a’
    slawyerst
    oodinfr
    ontoft
    he
    j
    udgei
    nacourtwi
    thabout15peopl
    esit
    ti
    ngin
    t
    heaudience.I
    nherheel
    s,shel
    ookedatt
    he
    j
    udgeandsighed.
    “It
    ’ssadt hatwel i
    veinawor ldwereaf emal e
    voiceisnothear datal l
    ,wear eabused, r
    aped,
    kil
    ledandi tstillr
    emai nsourf ault
    .Mycl i
    entwas
    forcedtodoanabor t
    ionbecauset hedef endant
    reali
    zedt hathenowv aluedhismar ri
    aget hough
    whenhest art
    edt heaf f
    airwithher, hi
    smar ri
    age
    wasnev erani ssuewi thhim, aft
    erthathewent
    afterherandr apedheraf terassault i
    ngher .All
    theev i
    dencei st heretopr ovethatandshe
    deservesj usti
    cel i
    keanyot herwomanoutt here.
    Womenar ehumanst oo.That’sall
    .”Shewal ked
    tohersitaf tergivinghercl osi
    ngst atement .
    Tendai’slawy erstoodupunbut t
    oninghi sjacket.
    “Onthedatementi
    onedbytheplai
    ntif
    f,she
    communicatedwit
    hthedefendant
    ,mycl ient
    aler
    ti
    ngheraboutherpr
    egnancy.Mindy ou,
    thesetwopeopl
    ehadbrokenupamont hbefore.
    Outofnowhereshesayssheispregnant,the
    def endantt ol
    dherhewasamar ri
    edmanand
    hewant edt owor konhi smar ri
    age, l
    ikebot h
    par ti
    essai d.Nowmyquest ionwoul dbe, didmy
    cli
    entf orcehert oabor t.Hedr ovet oherhouse,
    gother ,dr ovet othecl inic,thedoct orsai dshe
    didn’tsayany thing.Shedi dn’ tobjectt o
    any thi
    ng, shesi gnedt hepaper sandt he
    def endantwasn’ tev eni nther oom.Theywent
    home, tothepl aintiff’
    shousewer et hey ,as
    prov enhadsexual intercour se.Af tert hatmy
    cli
    entbr okeupwi thher , t
    hingsgotv iolentthen
    hesl appedherandl eft.Outf rom bitterness, the
    plainti
    ffthendeci dedt ogoandscr eam r ape.
    Aremennotconsi deredhumanst oo?Weal l
    canseet hatt hedef endantwant edt okeept he
    benef i
    tst hatcamewi thhav inganaf fairwi t
    h
    mycl i
    entev ent houghsheknewhewasmar ri
    ed.
    Al otofl i
    vesar er uinedbecauseoft hel i
    es, she
    wentt ot hepol iceadayaf tert owi thdr awt he
    casesay i
    ngi twasj ustami sunder standi ng
    thenaf tershewast oldshecoul dgot ojailfor
    tel
    lingl i
    es, shequi cklyleft
    , t
    odayshesay sshe
    wast hr eatenedy ethav enoev i
    dencet opr ove
    that.Ar ewenowi nthewor l
    dwer ewhat everthe
    womansay sisbel ieved?Myl ord,mycl ient
    admi ttedt osl appingherandhei sr eadyt opay
    forthatbuthenev errapedher .Theyhadsex
    andshet houghtaf t
    erthatt heywoul dgetback
    together .Mycl i
    entwasdoi ngev erythingf orher
    andwhennowshecoul dn’tgetit,sher esorted
    tobi t
    terness.Thei rev i
    denceshowst hatthey
    hadsex, not hingwasf orced.Herf ri
    endsai dit
    ,
    herpl anwast omakemycl i
    entr aiseanot her
    man’ schi ld,thisprov esthatt heplaint i
    ffisal i
    ar.
    Iclosemycase. ”
    HesatdownasMapula’
    shear
    tpounded.The
    j
    udgelookedatt
    hem.
    “Thecour
    twil
    lgotorecessi
    onandwi
    l
    lbeback
    at2.Cour
    tadj
    ourned.
    ”
    Mapulawalkedoutwit
    hherlawy
    erpassi
    ng
    Tendai
    ’sf
    ami l
    yontheside.
    “
    Don’
    tlosehope.
    ”
    Mapulashookherhead.“Ican’
    tbel
    ieveMamiki
    di
    dt hattome,Tendai
    rapedme.Shewast he
    fi
    rstpersonIcal
    l
    edaftert
    hathappened.
    ”
    “Mapula,l
    ookatme, wecan’tstressoverwhat
    Mami kidi
    d, i
    twon’thel
    pusi nanyway .Iwish
    youhadt oldmeev eryt
    hingfrom thefi
    rstday
    butit
    ’ssti
    llok.Onewayort heot herheisgoing
    tobechar gedforsomething.Ifnottherape
    thentheassault.Ij
    ustwanty out obeprepar
    ed
    foranythi
    ng.”
    “
    Iam scar
    edt
    hewifeisgoingt
    osuemeaf
    ter
    t
    hisl
    i
    keshedidhersi
    ster
    .”
    “
    Shewon’t,
    ifshewant
    edshewoul
    dhav
    edone
    i
    tal
    ready
    .”
    Mapula’
    sphoner
    angt
    henshest
    eppedback
    answeri
    ng.
    “
    Mama…”
    “Youhaveembarr
    assedme, humil
    iatedme.
    Sincewhendoyousleepwithmarriedmenand
    whyam Ihear
    ingthi
    sfrom peopl
    e?”
    “
    Mama…”
    “Aft
    erwhatwewentt hroughbecauseoft he
    otherwomany ourfat
    herhad,thi
    sishowy ou
    behav e?Yougoanddestroyanotherwoman’ s
    mar r
    iage?Isthatwhatourhi
    storytaughtyou?”
    Mapul
    aswal
    l
    owedhar
    dast
    ear
    sfi
    l
    ledherey
    es.
    “
    Mama..”
    “Ihopeonedaywheny ougetmar ri
    edanother
    womandoest hesamet oy ou,
    may bethenyou
    willunder
    standhowIf el
    t,howthatman’swi f
    e
    feel
    s.Ithoughtyouwoul dbediff
    erentbutyou
    arey ourf
    ather
    ’sdaughter.
    ”
    Hermot herhungupbef or
    eshecoul dsay
    anythi
    ngelse,shewipedawayhert ear
    sand
    j
    oinedherlawy erwhil
    eTendai’
    slawyerwalked
    outwithhisbrother
    s.Abelookedathersadly,
    a
    t
    earr
    andownhercheekt
    henshewi
    pedi
    taway
    l
    ooki
    ngaway
    .

    *
    **
    Outsi
    de,Abesi
    ghedt
    henl
    i
    stenedt
    othel
    awy
    er
    speaki
    ng.
    “
    Ifhei
    sfoundgui
    l
    ty,
    heisgoi
    ngawayf
    orav
    ery
    l
    ongti
    me.Maybe10year
    sorso.
    ”
    Aber
    ubbedhi
    shandstoget
    her
    .“Can’
    tbel
    i
    eve
    wear
    esuppor
    ti
    ngthi
    s.”
    Tinonodded.“Buti
    t ’
    sal
    laboutbrot
    her
    hood,I
    knowTendai wouldstandwithyouhadyou
    beeninhisshoeslikehejustst
    andsupfor
    every
    one.”
    Abechuckl
    edr emember i
    ngthetimeher anover
    someonewithhisfather’
    scar,l
    ucki
    lythe
    per
    sonwasj ustsl
    ightl
    yinj
    uredthoughTendai
    hadtakent
    hef al
    lforthat
    .“Tel
    lmeabouti t
    .”
    Tashat
    awalkedov
    erwi
    thheraunt
    .“Thi
    scase
    i
    sdragging.
    ”
    Thel
    awyerlookedatthem sl
    idi
    nghi
    sphonei
    n
    hi
    spocket
    .“Itwil
    lbeoversoon.
    ”

    *
    **

    Linal ookedatt hetextmessagef r


    om Tendai’
    s
    l
    awy erandsi ghed.Shefeltmoreanxiousnow,
    hedi dn’tknowy etandsheknewt hemoment
    hef oundout ,hewasgoi ngt odi
    vorceher.She
    briefl
    ycl osedherey es,
    shewasgoi ngtowal k
    awaywi thhercaronl ybecausethat’
    stheonly
    thingt hatwasi nhername.Sher eachedforher
    phoneandcal l
    edTaku.
    “
    Itol
    dyout
    ost
    opcal
    l
    ingmedi
    dn’
    tI?
    ”
    “
    Soy
    ouwant
    edt
    ouseme?
    ”
    “
    Theonl
    yreasonIsl
    eptwi
    thy
    oui
    sbecauseI
    want
    edt
    ohel
    pmyson.
    ”
    “
    Yousai
    dyoul
    ovedme.
    ”
    “Ionl
    ylov
    emywi f
    e,Iam t
    ryi
    ngt
    ofi
    xmyf
    ami
    l
    y,
    stayawayfr
    om me.”
    “
    Youdest
    royedmyl
    if
    e!Tendaii
    sgoi
    ngt
    oleav
    e
    me.Your
    uinedmymarr
    iage.
    ”
    “I
    fyoudidn’twantt
    ospeaktomet henyou
    shouldn’
    thaveeveragr
    eedtoi
    t,Ineverf
    orced
    youintoanythi
    ng,y
    ouwantedi
    tandIgav eitt
    o
    you.
    ”
    “
    Yousi
    ckol
    dman!
    ”
    “
    Stopcal
    l
    ingmeorelseyouwi
    l
    lregr
    eti
    t.Idon’
    t
    makeemptypr
    omises.
    ”

    *
    **

    Idr
    ovei
    nsi
    det
    hey
    ardandst
    eppedoutwi
    thmy
    handbagt
    henwal
    kedi
    nsidethehousewher
    eI
    coul
    dhearMal
    col
    mlaughingloudl
    ywhi
    leGi
    na
    smil
    ed.
    “
    Oh,
    Eazi
    !”
    “
    Ma…”
    “Youshoul
    dn’
    thavecomeback.Icanmov
    e
    aroundmylov
    e.”
    “
    Idon’
    twantyout
    ost r
    ainyour
    sel
    f.Mal
    c,Ihope
    y
    ouwerehelpi
    ngGranny.”
    “
    Ihel
    pedherbake!
    ”
    Iwalkedoverandpickedthei
    remptypl
    atesand
    walkedtothekit
    chen.Ginasl
    owlygotupusi
    ng
    hercrut
    chesandf ol
    lowedaft
    erme.
    “
    Eazi
    …”
    Itur
    nedandl
    ookedather
    .“Ma?Doy
    ouwant
    anyt
    hing?
    ”
    Shelookedatmybumpandsmil
    edwalki
    ng
    overthent
    ouchedi
    t.“
    Whatabl
    essi
    ng.Abe
    doesn’twanty ouwor kingt oohard,youdo
    ever
    ythinginthehouse, youclean,youpr epare
    himforwor k,youpr epareMal c,y
    oucookt hen
    youhav etogot owor k, y
    oucomebacki nthe
    aft
    ernoont ocookl unch, yougobackandy ou
    comel ater
    ,startwithdinnerandst i
    llfi
    ndt i
    me
    tobewi theveryone.It’
    st oomuch. ”
    “Idon’
    tbeli
    eveinhavi
    ngahelper
    .PlusIf
    eel
    energet
    ic,
    trustme.Icanmanage.
    ”
    “Becausey ouhav ebeensett omanage, butyou
    don’thav etodot hat
    .Icanhel p,Icancook
    l
    unchanddi nner,youdon’thav etowor ryabout
    Mal colm andI ,wewi l
    lbefine.Iam f eel
    ing
    muchbet ter,Iappreci
    atehowy ouhav ebeen
    takingcar eofmeal lt
    hispastmont hsandIwi l
    l
    forevercher i
    shi t
    ,butyouneedt orest.Abehas
    tohel ptoo.Ev eryonehastohel p.”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    It
    ookmyr
    ingi
    ngphonef
    rom myhandbag.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Hav
    eyoueat
    en?
    ”
    “
    UhIam home.
    ”
    “
    Isentl
    unchtoyourst
    ore,andsomet
    hingel
    se,
    I
    wantustogoouttoni
    ght.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Icl
    osedear
    ly,
    whati
    sthej
    udgesay
    ing?
    ”
    “Wearewai
    ti
    ngf
    ortheverdi
    ctnow.Don’
    tst
    ress
    aboutt
    hat
    .Howareyoufeel
    ing?
    ”
    “
    Iam f
    ine.
    ”
    “
    Don’
    tov
    erwor
    kyour
    sel
    f.
    ”
    “
    Iwon’
    t.
    ”
    “Ok,Iwi
    llcal
    lther
    estaur
    antandhavethem
    deli
    very
    ourlunchathome.Ilov
    ey ou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    Hehungupt
    henIsighedput
    ti
    ngmyphone
    down.Gi
    nal
    ookedatmeandsmil
    ed.
    “
    Heshoul
    dmar
    ryy
    oual
    ready
    !”
    “
    Isn’
    titt
    oosoon?
    ”
    “Baby,t
    her
    ei snev ertoosoon.Youar eno
    l
    ongermar r
    iedsot hereisnot
    hingstoppi
    ngyou.
    Andtrustme, Ir
    aisedt hatmanwell.Youare
    desti
    nedtoMr s.Taf i
    ra,onewayortheother.
    ”

    *
    **

    MmaKwai t
    edf orhergranddaughter
    i
    mpat i
    ent
    lythenLebot haemerged.Shestood
    upandsmi l
    i
    ng.Lebot harushedoverand
    huggedhertight
    ly.
    “
    Granny
    …”
    “
    Areyouok?Theyar
    efeedi
    ngy
    ouher
    e.Youar
    e
    r
    eal
    lybi
    g.”
    Lebot
    hasmi
    l
    edsadl
    y.“
    Iam pr
    egnant
    .”
    MmaKpausedst ari
    ngatherthentear
    sfi
    ll
    ed
    herey
    es.Sheputherhandoverhermouth.
    “
    Iam goingtogiveitaway.Ial
    readyspoket
    o
    t
    hesocialworkerhere,t
    heyaregoingtohel
    p
    megi
    v eitaway.”
    MmaKnodded.“
    Ok,
    ift
    hat
    ’swhaty
    ouwant
    .”
    “Ican’
    tkeepi
    t,ever
    ydaycar
    ryingitf
    eel
    sasi fI
    am condoni
    ngwhathappenedt ome.Inever
    wanttoseeitbecauseIam scaredIwi
    llki
    l
    lit.
    ”
    “
    Iunder
    stand.Ispoket
    oyourdoct
    or,
    shesai
    d
    y
    ouaredoingwel l
    .
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    myt
    ri
    ali
    sst
    art
    ingsoon.Iwi
    l
    lbe18.
    ”
    “Youwer enotyourselfwheny ouhur
    tthose
    people.Thejudgewillseethat.Youar
    e
    desti
    nedf orgr
    eaterthings.I
    fIhadn’
    t-
    ”
    “
    It
    ’si
    nthepast
    .”
    “
    Thepastwhi
    chst
    il
    lhaunt
    syou.
    ”
    Lebot
    hasmi
    l
    ed.“
    Howar
    emysi
    bli
    ngs?
    ”
    “
    Theymi
    ssy
    ou.
    ”
    “Imi
    ssthem t
    oo.Imissyou.Ist
    il
    lwantt
    o
    apol
    ogi
    zetoAuntyEazi.
    ”
    “Sheal
    readyf
    orgav
    eyou.Eazi
    isaf
    orgi
    vi
    ng
    soul
    .”

    *
    **

    Atcour
    t,ev
    eryonesatast
    hejudgespoke.Abe
    si
    ghedwaiti
    ngforhi
    mt ogett
    othemainpoint
    .
    “Andt hi
    scourtf
    indst heaccusedgui
    lt
    yof
    assaultandther
    ef or
    ei ssent
    encedto12
    mont hsinpri
    son,with6suspended.Onthe
    chargesofrape,theaccusedisfoundnotgui
    l
    ty.
    Casedi smi
    ssed!”
    Thej udgest oodupandwal kedawaythent he
    audiencest artedt
    alkingwhil
    ethejour
    nali
    sts
    tookpi ct
    ures.Mapul awipedawayhertearsand
    watchedast heytookTendai away
    .Herlawy er
    huggedher
    .
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Her
    apedme.
    ”
    “
    Hisdaywi
    l
    lcome.Let
    ’sgo.
    ”
    Theywal
    kedoutasAbef
    oll
    owedaf
    tert
    hem.
    “
    Mapul
    awai
    t…”
    Shetur
    nedandl
    ookedathi
    m.“
    HowcanIhel
    p
    you?
    ”
    Abelookedatherlawyert
    hengrabbedherhand
    andpull
    edheraside.“
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    Mapulalookedathi
    m ast
    earsfi
    ll
    edhereyes
    onceagain.“Her
    apedme,Iam notbi
    tt
    er.
    ”
    Abehuggedher
    .“Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    Shebr okedowncry
    ingonhischestwithher
    handonherchest.Aminut
    el at
    er,Abefinal
    ly
    steppedbackwhil
    eshesnif
    fed.“Iam sorry
    .”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Henoddedthenwalkedaway.Herl
    awy
    er
    l
    ookedatherget
    ti
    ngi nt
    hecar.
    “
    That
    ’st
    hebr
    other
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Ithi
    nkitwil
    lbebesti
    fyoujustst
    ayedaway
    f
    rom t
    hatfamil
    y,f
    oryourownsanity
    .”
    “
    Yeah…”
    Thel
    awy
    erst
    art
    edt
    hecaranddr
    oveof
    f.

    *
    **

    Meanwhi
    leAbeandTi
    nol
    ookedatTashaas
    shegoti
    nhercar
    .
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyougoi
    ngagai
    n?”
    “
    Iam v
    isi
    ti
    ngaf
    ri
    end.
    ”
    Tinoshookhi
    shead.“
    Waj
    olamot
    hoo.(
    Shei
    s
    dati
    ng.)
    ”
    “
    Whoi
    sit
    ?”
    “
    Noone.By
    e!”
    Tinosnat
    chedhercarkeys.“
    Wai
    tfi
    rst
    ,whoi
    s
    he,youar
    ealwaystr
    avell
    i
    ng.”
    Tashar
    oll
    edherey
    es.“
    Youwantt
    oscar
    ehi
    m?”
    Abesi
    ghed.“
    Wewantt
    omeethi
    m.”
    “
    It
    ’st
    oosoonf
    ort
    hat
    .”
    “Tel
    lhi
    m mybrot
    herssaidtheywantt
    omeet
    him,gi
    vehert
    hecarkeys.”
    Tinohandedhisy
    oungersi
    stert
    hecarkey
    s
    thengotinhi
    scarwi
    thAbe.
    “
    Whatdi
    dshesay
    ?”
    Abel
    ookedathi
    m.“
    Who?
    ”
    “
    Mapul
    a.”
    “
    Shei
    shur
    t.Ican’
    thel
    pbutf
    eel
    sor
    ryf
    orher
    .”
    “
    Metoo.
    ”Hestar
    tedthecarandeasedoutof
    t
    hepar
    kingl
    ott
    henjoinedt
    heroad.“
    Butonthe
    othersi
    de,
    Tendai
    wil
    lbeoutsoon.Maybehis
    karmaishavi
    nghi
    swifesl
    eepwithhi
    sfather
    .”
    Abechuckl
    ed.“
    Youar
    enast
    y.”
    “
    Sti
    l
    lgoi
    ngaheadwi
    tht
    hepl
    an?
    ”
    “Yeah,Ican’
    twaitanymore.IknowwhatIwant
    andIam notgoingtocont i
    nuewastingmyt i
    me.
    IwanttomakeEazi anhonestwomanandgape
    i
    t’sannoyingj
    usthowIcan’ tbeful
    l
    yt her
    einher
    l
    ifeli
    keahusbandwoul d.Iwantust ostar
    tour
    l
    ivestogether
    .”
    “
    Soy
    ouar
    egoi
    ngt
    oqui
    tfoot
    bal
    l
    ?”
    “No,
    butit
    ’ssomet
    hingIwanttodiscusswi
    th
    Eazi
    ,asmywi f
    enotgi
    rl
    fri
    endorbabymama.I
    wanthert
    obepartofeverydeci
    sionImake.
    ”
    “Igetyou,y
    oureal
    lyl
    oveher,
    Ihopeshedoesn’
    t
    hurtyou,t
    helastt
    imeyouwerel
    iket
    hiswas
    wheny ouwerewithThabi
    l
    e.”
    “
    Eazi
    isnotThabi
    l
    e.Iam nothol
    dingmybr
    eat
    h
    forhert ohurtme, sheisnotanywomanIhav e
    metbef ore.Shei sherownper sonandIwill
    treatherli
    ket hat.Whenyoumeett heoneyou
    wi l
    lunderst
    andwhatIam t al
    kingabout.Dr
    op
    meof fatAvani,Ihaveafewt hingstofi
    xbefor
    e
    Igoandcol l
    ectthering.
    ”

    *
    **

    Laterthatdayatdusk,Il
    ookedatmy sel
    fonthe
    mirrorintheredshi
    mmer ingdr essthathel
    d
    ti
    ghtt omybodyst r
    etchi
    ngonmybump.I
    smiledr unni
    ngmylipstogetherwithmy
    fl
    awl essmakeup.Myphoner angfrom thebed
    thenIpickedwithasmi l
    e.
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “I
    nthebedroom,t
    hedressi
    sbeaut
    if
    ul.Wher
    e
    arewegoingagai
    n?”
    “
    Comeout
    ,Iam wai
    ti
    ngf
    ory
    ouout
    side.
    ”
    Hehungup,Iputmyphonei nmypurseand
    wal
    kedoutpassingMalcolm whowasjust
    smi
    li
    ngatmewhi l
    eseatedwithGi
    na.
    “
    Byemama!
    ”
    “
    ByeMal
    c…”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    edconf
    used.“
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    Out
    side,
    Abesl i
    dhi
    sphonei
    nhispocketand
    wal
    kedov ert
    ome.“Youl
    ookbeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    edl
    ooki
    ngathi
    m al
    lsui
    tedup.“
    Yout
    oo.
    Wher
    ear
    ewegoing?
    ”
    “Don’twor
    ryaboutt
    hat.
    ”Her
    ubbedmybump
    kissi
    ngme.“Let’
    sgo.
    ”
    Heopenedthecardoorf
    ormethenhel
    pedme
    i
    nsi
    deandbeltedmeup.Helookedi
    nmyeyes
    t
    henkissedmeagain.
    “
    Youl
    ookbeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    erui
    ningmyl
    i
    pst
    ickAbe!
    ”
    “Al otmor eissti
    llgoingtogetr uined.”He
    smi lednaughtil
    yandwal kedr oundt ohi sdoor
    afterclosingmine.Mal colm wav edasAbe
    drov eaway .Hecont i
    nuouslyst ol
    egl ancesat
    memaki ngmebl ush.Drivi
    ngt hroughagr een
    tr
    af ficl
    ight,at
    ruckcamef rom nowher ecoming
    straightonusf rom thesidewi thit’
    slights
    bri
    ghtonus.
    Iscr
    eamedcl
    osi
    ngmyey
    es.“
    Abe!
    ”
    Abest eppedtheacceler
    atorevenmor esur
    ging
    thecarf or
    wardtomi ssthetr
    uckthenquickly
    steppedont hebreakstostopthecarbeforeit
    couldhittheoneinfront
    .Tyresscreechedasit
    camet oast op.Isl
    owlyopenedmyey esas
    tearsrandownmycheeks.
    “
    Arey
    ouok?
    ”
    Iopenedmymout
    htosaysomet
    hingbutno
    wordscameoutasmyhear
    tbeatpoundedso
    qui
    ck.
    “
    Eazi
    !
    ”
    Icl
    osedmyey
    esl
    osi
    ngt
    ouchwi
    thmy
    sel
    f.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #28

    Atthehospital
    ,Abepacedupanddownwai ti
    ng
    forthedoctorwhil
    ehishear
    tpounded.The
    doctorwalkedoutthenhewalkedover
    .
    “
    Issheok?
    ”
    “Yes,shei
    sok,
    herbl
    oodpr
    essur
    ewasso
    high.
    ”
    “
    Weal
    mosthadanacci
    dent
    .”
    “
    Thatexplai
    nsitbutsheisfi
    ne.Shej
    ustgot
    t
    err
    if
    ied.Thebabyisfine.
    ”
    “
    Issheawake?
    ”
    “Yes,
    Ihav edi
    schar
    gedherbecauseshei
    sfi
    ne.
    Justfai
    nted.
    ”
    Abesi
    ghed.“
    ThankGod,
    thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Wel
    come.
    ”

    *
    **

    I
    nsi
    detheroom, Abewalkedi
    nandl
    ookedat
    measIgotoffthebed.Ifi
    xedmydr
    essthenhe
    wal
    kedoverandhuggedme.
    “
    Iwaswor
    ri
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Iam f
    ine.Ican’
    tbel
    i
    eveweal
    mostdi
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    eok,
    not
    hingi
    sgoi
    ngt
    ohappent
    oyou.
    ”
    Hehel pedmeputonmyshoeswhi l
    eIfi
    xedmy
    cl
    eav ageandhai r.Outside,Abeopenedthe
    doorf ormet henIgoti n.Hisphonerangashe
    cl
    osedmydoor ,Ilookedathim ashestepped
    awayf rom thecaranswer i
    ng.Secondsl
    aterhe
    gotint hecaranddr oveof fwhil
    eIcuri
    ously
    l
    ookedathi m.Hegl ancedatmeandcaughtme
    star
    ing.
    “
    Arey
    ouok?
    ”
    “
    Whower
    eyout
    alki
    ngt
    o?”
    “
    Mymom,
    shei
    swor
    ri
    ed.Whatdi
    dyout
    hink?
    ”
    Il
    ookeddownembar
    rassedmaki
    nghi
    mlaugh.
    “
    Youwantt
    ocheckmyphonebabe?
    ”
    “
    Iwasj
    ustaski
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Youcanj
    ustchecki
    t.
    ”
    Ii
    gnoredhi
    mlooki
    ngoutt
    hrought
    hewi
    ndow.
    Abetookadeepbr
    eat
    htry
    ingtohol
    dhi
    msel
    f.
    “
    Babe…?Obat
    laf
    ounu?(
    Doy
    iuwantt
    he
    phone?
    ”
    “SoIcan’
    taskanymore?I
    fthat
    ’st
    hecasey
    ou
    shoul
    dhavesaidso.
    ”
    Abeputhi
    shandov erhi
    smouthlaughi
    ng.“Uhu,
    ongadi
    leyaanong?(Youar
    eupsetnow?)”
    “
    Iwantt
    ogohome.
    ”
    Helaughedevenhar
    der
    .“Ngng,rel
    ax,
    I…ifyou
    wantmyphone, y
    oucangeti
    t.Ther
    eisnothi
    ng
    wrongwitht
    hat.
    ”
    Myvoi
    ceshookast
    ear
    sfi
    l
    ledmyey
    es.“
    Youar
    e
    maki
    ngfunofme.
    ”
    Abelookedatmet wist
    inghi
    sli
    psl
    aughi
    ng.
    “Wheredidyougetthat
    ? ”
    “Iknowyoumakingfunofme!Youanswer
    phonesawayfr
    om meandy oumakemef eel
    stupi
    dwhenIask.”Tear
    srandownmycheeks.
    Hel
    ookedatmeshockedofmyt
    ear
    s.“
    Babe-
    “
    “
    Iam nott
    alki
    ngt
    oyouany
    mor
    ebecausewhen
    Ispeakyoumakef
    unofme.Youdon’
    tval
    ueme,
    Iknow!”
    Iwipedawaymyt earsandfoldedmyarms
    angri
    ly
    .Minutesl
    aterAbedrov et
    heAvanigat
    es
    andparkedthecar.Hesteppedoutandcame
    roundtomydoort henopened.
    “
    Let
    ’sgo.
    ”
    Ist
    eppedoutt
    henwal
    kedwi
    thhi
    minsi
    de.
    “
    Herei
    sourkeyandroom number,l
    etmesorta
    f
    ewthingswi
    tht
    hehotelstaf
    fandIwil
    lfol
    l
    ow.”
    Heki
    ssedmehandingmet hekey
    s.“Il
    oveyou.
    ”
    Isi
    l
    entl
    ywal
    kedawayt
    henhegr
    abbedmyhand
    pul
    li
    ngmeback.
    “
    Isai
    dIl
    ovey
    ou.
    ”
    Il
    ookeddownr
    emai
    ningsi
    l
    ent
    .
    “
    Eazi
    ?”
    Hechuckl
    edandletmego,af
    teraski
    ngahotel
    st
    aff
    ,Ifi
    nal
    lyl
    ocatedt
    heroom andunl
    ocked.
    Withasi gh,Iopenedandwal kedin.Myheart
    skippedasIl ookedatthetrailofredrose
    petalsandcandl esli
    ght
    edl eadingtoahuge
    heartmadeupofr osepetalsandcandl es.I
    tookoffmyshoesandwal kedov eronthet r
    ail
    tothehear tthenchuckl
    edpi ckingthenote
    beforemet henreaditl
    oud.
    “
    Tur
    nar
    ound…”
    If
    rownedandturned,Abesmiledgoi
    ngdown
    onhiskneeswhi
    leIremainedperpl
    exed.Heran
    hi
    stongueonhisbottom l
    ipandchuckled.
    “Thisdaydi dn’tgoasplannedbutwear eher
    e,
    aspl anned.Ihadanent i
    respeechr eadybutit
    allfl
    ewoutt hr
    oughthewi ndowbecauseoft he
    truckdriverbutthatshouldn’
    tmatterbecauseI
    knowwhat ’sinmyhear t
    .Iloveyou,Ididn’
    t
    expectt ofindlovesoquickbecauseIwas
    takingabr eakf r
    om rel
    ati
    onshipswhenImet
    youbutIdi d.Idon’tknowwhatt omor rowholds
    forusbutIwantt ogiveyouev er
    ythingIcanas
    l
    ongasIam st i
    llhere.Iwanttogiv
    ey outhe
    l
    ov eyoudeservebecausey oudeserveit
    .Iam
    notperf
    ectandIam notpr omisi
    ngt obe,Iam
    promisi
    ngtoloveandt reatyouri
    ght,t
    ocheri
    sh
    youandputy oufir
    st.”Hetookoutthediamond
    ri
    ng.“Wil
    lyoumar ryme? ”
    Tear
    sfi
    l
    ledmyey
    es.“
    Abedi
    l
    e!”
    “
    Ithi
    nkt
    hecor
    rectansweri
    say
    esorno.
    ”
    Ilookedatt
    hediamondri
    ngi
    nhi
    shandswhi
    l
    e
    tearswetmycheeks.“
    Abe…”
    Hel
    ookedatme,sl
    ightpani
    cset
    tl
    ingi
    nhi
    sey
    es.
    Heswal
    lowedhar
    d.
    Inodded.“
    Yes…ohmyGod!
    ”
    Abechuckledwit
    hrel
    i
    efthensl
    i
    dther
    ingonmy
    fi
    nger.“
    Youalmostki
    ll
    edme.Myhear
    twas
    abouttoleapandwal
    k.”
    “
    Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evet
    his…”
    Hest
    oodupandki
    ssedmewi
    pingawaymy
    t
    ears.“Ilov
    eyou.Ilovey
    ousomuch.Godfor
    bid
    i
    fanythinghappenstome,knowt
    hatIl
    oved
    y
    oumor ethananyt
    hing.
    ”
    Mor etearsf
    il
    ledmyey es.“
    Whyareyoutal
    king
    l
    ikethat?Nothingi
    sgoi ngt
    ohappentoanyone.
    Ijustwanttobehappy.Nooneisgoingtolove
    mel ikeyoul
    ov eme.”
    Abesmil
    ed.“Iwasjustsay
    ing.Justl
    i
    key
    ou
    werej
    ustasking.
    ”
    Il
    ookedathi
    m makinghiml
    augh.“
    Jokes.Let
    ’s
    goandeatMrs.Taf
    ira.
    ”

    *
    **

    Mapulasatinhersitt
    ingroom thi
    nkingofear
    li
    er
    on.Nowshel ookedli
    keal i
    arinfrontoft
    he
    enti
    renati
    on.Tearsfi
    lledhereyesthenshe
    rubbedthem andtookherphone.Shecame
    acrossAbe’snumberandsmi l
    ed,hewasthe
    onlywhoseemedt ounderstandherposit
    ion.
    Mat t
    eroffact,shehadl ongr eal
    izedt
    her
    ewas
    somet hi
    ngdifferentabouthim.Shesatupr ight
    andcal l
    edhim.Hi sphoner angunanswered
    thenshesettledf oratextmessage.
    Mapula:Hi
    ,it
    ’sMapul
    a.Ij
    ustwantedtot
    hank
    youforear
    li
    eron.Youdon’
    thavetosympat
    hize
    wit
    hmebuty oudi
    dsothankyou.Youar
    ea
    goodman.
    Shesentt
    hetextandwentonhisfacebookwit
    h
    asmil
    ebuthisaccountwaspriv
    ati
    zedthough
    hi
    spagewasn’tandshedoubtedhemanagedi t
    .
    Shewentdownthepageliki
    nghispi
    cturest
    hen
    fi
    nal
    l
    yputherphonedown.Shewoul dn’
    tminda
    manliket
    hat
    .

    *
    **
    Ontlametsiwalkedinsi
    deherhousepressi ng
    herphonet hensmi l
    edstar
    ingatEazi’
    sst atus.
    Thepi ct
    uresappearedonherscreenoneby
    onet i
    l
    l t
    heonewher eshewasshowi ngof fher
    pict
    urewi t
    har i
    ng.Ontl
    azoomedi tinjustt o
    makesur eandscr eamed.Sheimmedi ately
    call
    edher .
    “
    Ont
    la,
    Iam eat
    ing,
    cany
    oucal
    ltomor
    row?
    ”
    “
    Ngng,
    Mrs.Abe!
    ”
    Eazi
    laughed.“
    Ist
    il
    lcan’
    tbel
    i
    evet
    his.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    egoingtobeawif
    e,Ican’
    twai
    tfort
    his?
    Wheni
    stheweddi
    ng?”
    “
    Idon’
    tknowbutaf
    terIgi
    vebi
    rt
    h.”
    “
    Iam downf
    ori
    t.Iam sohappyf
    ory
    ou.
    ”
    “Thanks,
    Ihaveogo.Iam swi
    tchi
    ngof
    fmy
    phone.Ever
    yonei
    scall
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Wewi
    l
    ltal
    k.”
    Ont
    lahungupandsmi
    l
    edsi
    tt
    ing.Herphone
    r
    ang.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Hi
    ,Ontlametsi
    ,i
    t’
    sLebang,Ij
    ustf
    oundyour
    motherlyingi
    nthemi ddl
    eoft
    heyard
    unconsciousandrushedhert
    othecl
    ini
    c.”
    “
    What
    ’swr
    ongwi
    thher
    ?”
    “Idon’
    tknow,youshoul
    dcomebecauset
    hey
    areaski
    ngforherfamil
    y.
    ”
    “
    Herboy
    fri
    end?
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tknowwher
    ehei
    s.”
    “
    Ok,
    thanks.
    ”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Ontl
    ahungupandt
    hought
    ful
    l
    ywal
    kedoutwi
    th
    hercarkey
    s.

    *
    **
    Takust
    eppedoutofhi
    scarandr
    angt
    he
    i
    nter
    com atAbe’
    shouse.
    Aboy
    ’sv
    oicespokeot
    hespeaker
    .“Whoi
    sit
    ?”
    Bef
    orehecoul
    drespondhehear
    dGi
    na’
    svoi
    ce.
    “Whoiti
    t?”
    “
    Gina,
    canwet
    alk.
    ”
    “
    Taku?
    ”
    “
    Canwepl easetal
    k,j
    ustf
    oracoupl
    eof
    minut
    es.Please…”
    “
    Ihav
    enot
    hingt
    osayt
    oyou.
    ”
    “
    Sweetheartpl
    ease,
    Iam beggi
    ngy
    ou.Ij
    ust
    wantt
    ot al
    k.”
    Hesighednotgetti
    ngr esponsethenlookedat
    thedoor.Secondslat
    er,thedooropenedand
    shewalkedoutwi t
    hhercr ut
    ches.Hegott earf
    ul
    asshewal kedoverti
    l
    lshewasst andi
    ngbyt he
    gatest
    aringathim.
    “
    Wecant
    alk.
    ”
    “Iknownoamountofapol ogi
    escanf or
    give
    whatIdidbutIwi l
    lkeepapologi
    zingaslongas
    Iam ali
    ve.Iloveyousweetheart
    ,Ilov
    ey ouso
    much.Ihav elostever
    ythi
    ngandIdeserv et
    o
    butIloveyou.”
    “
    Yousleptwi
    thmydaught
    eri
    n-l
    aw,
    howcoul
    d
    y
    ou?”
    “
    IthoughtIwashel
    pinghi
    m.”
    “Bysleepi
    ngwi t
    hhi swife?Howcoul dyou?You
    aredisgust
    ing.Tot hi
    nkIletherinmyhouse.
    Youwer eprobablyhavingsexrightundermy
    nose.Mypar entswerer i
    ght,
    youar etheworst
    mistakeIhaveev ermade.”
    Takurubbedhiseyes.“
    IhavenoexcuseGina,I
    havehurtyouandourfamil
    ybutIloveyou,I
    wanttofixthi
    s.Wecaninvol
    vethefamili
    es.
    ”
    “Iam comingbacktomyhouseandy ouare
    l
    eav i
    ng.Ihavest
    ayedherei
    t’
    senough,Iam not
    goingtohideanymore,
    Iwantyoutogoand
    packyourt
    hings.WhenIcomet her
    e,Ibet
    ter
    notfi
    ndasingletr
    aceofyoui
    nmyhouse.That
    i
    smyhouseandIam goi ngtotakeit.
    ”
    “Pl
    easegivemeachancetofi
    xt hi
    s,wehave
    beenthroughsomuch,wecanfixourmarr
    iage.
    YesIfuckedupbutIl
    oveyouGina.Il
    oveyouso
    much.”
    “Iwantyououtofmyhouse!Cal lwhoev eryou
    wanttocall
    ,invol
    v et
    heent i
    rewor l
    dbutIwant
    yououtofmyhouse.Andguesswhatel seI
    wantTaku,Iwantadi vorce.Youdon’ tdeserve
    me!Aftereveryt
    hing,t
    hisisthethanksIget ?
    Yousleepwithmydaught eri
    nlaw, withyour
    ownson’swi f
    e.Icanforgiveanything,notthat.
    Notthat.
    ”
    Hi
    shear
    tshat
    ter
    edashel
    ookedi
    nherey
    es.
    “
    Iwantadi
    vor
    ce.
    ”
    “
    Sweethear
    tpl
    ease…Iwi
    l
    ldoany
    thi
    ngt
    ofi
    x
    t
    his.
    ”
    “Wearegetti
    ngadivor
    cebutfir
    st,
    youaregoi
    ng
    toleav
    emyhouse.Don’tf
    orgetIhavet
    hekid’
    s
    support
    .”Shetur
    nedandwalkedawaywhil
    ehe
    pul
    leduphispantswhi
    chnowseemedt oobig
    onhim.

    *
    **

    AtPalapy
    e,Moemedidrov
    einsi
    dehi
    syar
    d
    tal
    ki
    ngont hephonewi
    thasmil
    e.
    “
    Iam comi
    ngt
    omor
    row,
    Imi
    ssy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Imi
    ssy
    out
    oobabe…”
    “
    Ther
    eissomet
    hingIwantt
    ot el
    lyou.Facet
    o
    f
    ace,
    wewill
    tal
    kwhenIgetthere.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hepar
    kedandst
    eppedout
    .
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    Hesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    HedroppedBi na’
    scallandunlockedhi
    shouse
    thenwalkedin.Heinhaledadelici
    ousaromaat
    thedoorandwal kedfurtheri
    n.I
    nthekitchen,
    Tashaturnedtolookathi m wi
    thasmile.
    “
    Heybabe…”
    “
    Hey
    …It
    houghty
    ouwer
    enotcomi
    ng.
    ”
    Shel
    aughed.“
    Surpr
    ise?Imissedy
    ou.
    ”She
    wal
    kedoverandhuggedhim.
    “Imissedy
    out oo.Thi
    sisani
    cesur
    pri
    se.I
    didn’
    tseeyourcar.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’si
    nthegar
    age.
    ”
    Moemedikissedherandsmi
    l
    edst
    ari
    ngather
    beaut
    if
    ulf
    ace.
    “
    Iam happyt
    oseey
    ou.
    ”
    Tashaputherheadonhi
    schesti
    nhal
    i
    ng.“
    My
    br
    other
    swant
    stoseey
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    when?
    ”
    “WhenyoucometoGabs.Andt henwewil
    lgo
    andseeyoursont
    oget
    her.It
    hinkit’
    sti
    meI
    meethi
    m.”
    “
    Iagr
    ee.Iwi
    l
    lgoandchange.
    ”
    “
    Ok.Iam al
    mostdoneher
    e.”
    Hewalkedawaywhil
    esheconti
    nuedcooki
    ng.
    Inhi
    sbedroom,hequi
    ckl
    ytookouthi
    sphone
    andcal
    ledanumber.
    “
    Heybabe,
    Iam al
    mostdone.
    ”
    “
    Youcan’
    tcomet
    oday
    ,mygi
    rl
    fr
    iendi
    sher
    e.”
    “
    Oh…ok.Wheni
    sshel
    eav
    ing?
    ”
    “
    Iam notsur
    e,Iwi
    l
    ltal
    ktoy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Shar
    p.”
    Hehungupanddel
    etedany
    thi
    ngincr
    iminat
    ing
    t
    henputTasha’
    spi
    ctur
    eashisscr
    eensaver
    af
    tersav
    ingBi
    na’
    snumberunderamal
    ename.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #29

    Thefoll
    owingmor ning,Abesatbyt hepoolarea
    shi
    rtl
    essatAvani r
    esor tandCasinouploadi
    nga
    fewpictur
    esfrom lastnightonhissocialmedia
    accountsandcaptionedt hem wit
    h‘Wifetobe!’
    .
    Hechangedall hi
    spr ofi
    lepict
    uresputt
    ingEazi’
    s
    l
    aughinginthereddr ess.Hisphonerangthen
    hesmi l
    edanswering.
    “
    Sur
    e?”
    Ti
    nochuckl
    ed.“
    Congr
    atul
    ati
    ons!
    ”
    “
    That
    ’showi
    t’
    sdone.Lear
    nson.
    ”
    “
    Iam notreadyf
    ormar
    ri
    ageri
    ghtnow.Plus
    MmaSet senwawant
    enanyanathesedays.
    ”
    “
    Ifshei
    snott
    heoney
    oucan’
    tfor
    cei
    t.
    ”
    “Iknow.Idon’
    tknowhowIr
    eal
    l
    yfeel
    right
    now.”
    Abesighed.“
    Ihav
    ebeenhav
    ingabadf
    eel
    i
    ng
    l
    atel
    y.
    ”
    “
    Whati
    sit
    ?”
    “Idon’
    tknow,Ij
    usthav
    eaf eeli
    ngthat
    somethingi
    sboundtogowr ong.Ikeep
    dreamingsomethi
    nghappeningtomeorEazi
    .”
    “
    Somet
    hingl
    i
    kewhat
    ?”
    “Lastnightatruckalmostcr ushedi
    ntomeand
    i
    tf el
    tli
    kedéjàv u.Idon’
    tknowbutf orthefi
    rst
    ti
    meev erIam actual
    lyscared.Eazicoul
    dhave
    diedlastnight
    .Orgotser i
    ouslyinj
    ured.”
    “
    Wheny
    ouar
    etoohappy
    ,suchhappenswher
    e
    youfeel
    somethi
    ngisboundt
    oruinthe
    happi
    ness.I
    t’
    snot
    hingtowor
    ryabout.
    ”
    “Yeah…buti
    ncase,Iwr
    oteawill
    .Ifanyt
    hing
    happenstomethenEaziandourkidswil
    lbe
    sorted.
    ”
    “Don’tt
    alkliket
    hat.Not
    hingisgoingtohappen.
    Focusony ourl
    i
    ttl
    efamilyandforgetnegat
    ive
    thoughts.Youshouldbecelebr
    at i
    ng,youfi
    nal
    ly
    haveitall
    .Youar egett
    ingmarried.Youshould
    behappy .”
    Abesmi l
    ed.“Ican’
    tbel
    iev
    eshesai
    dy esl
    i
    ke
    that
    ,IthoughtIwouldhavet
    oconv
    inceher
    fi
    rst
    .”
    “
    Shel
    ovesy
    ou,
    ther
    eisnot
    hingt
    oconv
    ince.
    ”
    “
    Yeah,
    Iwanttogetst
    art
    edont
    henegot
    iat
    ions
    i
    mmediat
    ely
    .”
    “
    Andt
    heweddi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Shewant
    stogetmar
    ri
    edaf
    tershegi
    vesbi
    rt
    h.”
    “
    That
    ’sst
    il
    lok,nowomanwant
    stogi
    veget
    mar
    ri
    edwhilepregnant
    .”
    “
    Yeah,
    Igeti
    t.ButIam pay
    ingmagadi
    .”
    “
    Didy
    out
    ell
    yourf
    ather
    ?”
    “No,Iam notr
    elat
    edtothatman.Iwil
    ltel
    luncl
    e
    C,hewill
    handleit
    .Ial
    readyspoket
    ohim.”
    “
    Ok,
    wewi
    l
    ltal
    k.”
    “
    Sur
    eMi
    ster
    .”
    HehungupthenopenedMapul
    a’
    smessage
    t
    hencal
    ledherback.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi,
    it’
    sAbe.
    ”
    “Ohhi!Iam sor
    ryaboutsendi
    ngthatmessage
    solat
    e.Ididn’
    treal
    i
    zehowl at
    eIsentitt
    il
    ltoday
    morni
    ng. ”
    “
    It
    ’sok.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    out
    hough.Iknowy
    ouar
    enot
    obl
    i
    gat
    edt
    osot
    hanky
    ou.
    ”
    “Howarey
    ou?Iknowwhatpeopl
    ehav
    ebeen
    sayi
    ng.
    ”
    “IknowbutIcan’tchangeit.Iam goi
    ngtof ocus
    onlookingforanotherj
    obbecauseev eryoneat
    mycur r
    entjobknowsandIcanheart hose
    whispersandlaughterdownt hecorr
    idor
    s.What
    happenedhashappened, IknowGodknowst he
    trut
    hsoy ourbrot
    herwi l
    lgethispuni
    shment
    from God.”
    “
    Whatdoy
    ouwor
    kas?
    ”
    “
    Iam awebmast
    erandagr
    aphi
    cdesi
    gner
    .”
    “Iwouldactual
    lysuggesty
    out
    omyf i
    ancébutI
    don’tt
    hinkshewoul dbecomf
    ort
    abl
    ebutIwil
    l
    helpyoulook.”
    “
    Thanky ou.IcansendyoumyCV.Andmay be
    j
    ustgiveyouacoupletodropoffatcompanies
    whichmaybel ooki
    ngforsomeone,ify
    oudon’t
    mind.”
    “
    That
    ’sok,
    bye.
    ”
    Hehungupst
    andi
    ngupt
    henwal
    kedbackt
    ohi
    s
    r
    oom.

    *
    **

    Onthesamemor ni
    ng,Li
    naopenedthedoort
    o
    adeli
    ver
    ymanst andingonherdoorst
    epwhil
    e
    heheldhercarkeysadhandbag.
    “
    Mrs.Li
    na?
    ”
    “
    Yes?HowcanIhel
    pyou?
    ”
    “Thisi
    sadeli
    veryfory
    oumam f
    rom t
    hecour
    t,
    pleasesi
    gnhere.
    ”
    Li
    nasignedt
    hent ooktheenvelope.Sheopened
    i
    tandtookoutthedivorcefor
    ms.Herhear t
    poundedasshereadt hr
    oughtil
    lthelast
    sent
    enceandbelowitwasTendai ’ssignat
    ure.
    Sheswall
    owedhar dthenreadthroughagain,
    thi
    stimemor eslowl ywithtearsinherey
    es.He
    wastakingeverythingthatwashi sandwas
    demandingshel eav eshishousewi t
    h
    i
    mmedi ateeff
    ect .Shedr oppedthepapersand
    cal
    ledhislawyerwhi lethedeli
    verymanwalked
    out.
    “
    Lina…”
    “
    What
    ’st
    his?
    ”
    “
    Tendai
    want
    sadi
    vor
    ce.
    ”
    “
    Butwhy
    ?”
    “Youcan’tpossibl
    yaskthat
    .Ithi
    nkit
    ’sbett
    erif
    youjustsignthepaper
    sandmov eonwithyour
    l
    ifethanyoutryingtof
    ighti
    tbecauseitwon’
    t
    changeany t
    hing.”
    “
    Youcan’
    tdothist
    ome…Ihav
    enowher
    etogo.
    Heknowsthat
    .”
    “That
    ’snotmypr obl
    em,Iam doi
    ngwhatmy
    cli
    entwantsbecauseIam get
    ti
    ngpai
    dfori
    t.
    Thishousei
    sbeingsoldsoyouhavetobeout
    forthenewbuy
    ers.Ihopeyouunder
    stand.
    Haveawonderfulday.
    ”
    Thelawyerhungup.Shetri
    edcalli
    nghim back
    buthisphonerangunanswered.Shepickedup
    thedivor
    cepapersandreadthroughagain.

    *
    **

    Atbusr ank,Binagotinthebusandset t
    led
    l
    eani ngbackonherseatput t
    ingonher
    ear phones.Al adywalkedinandsatbesi deher.
    Shescr olledthroughherfacebookast hebus
    tookof fthencameacr ossEazi’
    snewpr ofil
    e
    picture.Binalookedatherr i
    ngt hentheman
    besi deher.Shenowl ookedmor ebeauti
    fuland
    thick.Thepr egnancysuithermor ethanmost
    peopl esheknew.Shesmi led,nowshewas
    pret t
    ysureEazi wouldnev erbeapr obl
    em inher
    r
    elat
    ionship.Herphoner
    angt
    henshepi
    cked
    wi
    thasi gh.
    “
    Mama…”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Iwentt
    ovi
    sitaf
    ri
    end.
    ”
    “
    EneMoemedi
    ?Whatdoy
    ouseei
    nthatman?
    ”
    “
    Mama,
    please…”
    “No, explaintome, whatdoyouseeint hatman?
    Eazi stayedwi t
    hhimf oryear
    sandhenev erdi
    d
    any thingproducti
    ve,nowheiswor ki
    ngandst il
    l
    therei snothi
    ngpr oducti
    vehedoes.Hebought
    av eryexpensi v
    ecarandIam sur eheisgoi ng
    tobepay ingtheloanforyear
    s, amanwho
    thi
    nkscoul dhaveboughtapl otandstart
    ed
    building.”
    “Mama,youdon’
    tknowMoemedi orwhathei
    s
    doingwi
    thhi
    slif
    e.Yesheboughtt
    heRS7but
    that’
    shi
    smoney,heisst
    il
    lgoi
    ngtobuyaplot
    andstartbui
    l
    ding.Iwi
    l
    lbet
    her
    esuppor
    ti
    nghi
    m
    becauseheismyman. ”
    “Youaregoi ngtor egrett his,trustme.Iknow
    youarepr egnant,Idon’ tknowwhoi sgoingt o
    supportthatchildbuti twon’ tbeme.Iwi llnot
    l
    etyouandy ourbabyt iemedown.It oldyou
    thi
    syearIwantt otrav el andt hat’
    swhatexact l
    y
    Iam doing.Iwi l
    lbet rav ell
    ingandenj oyi
    ngmy
    moneyt hatIwor kedsohar dfor.Iam sti
    ll
    youngtobet aki
    ngcar ei fpeopl e’
    schil
    dren.You
    bett
    erhav eapl anf ory ourself.”
    Binahungupannoyedandcont
    inuedscr
    oll
    i
    ng
    throughherf
    acebook.

    *
    **

    Lonasspokeont
    hephonewhi
    l
    eeat
    ingan
    appl
    e.
    “
    Ihav
    efi
    l
    edf
    ordi
    vor
    ce.
    ”
    “Wewill
    talkaf
    tery
    ourdi
    vor
    ce,Idon’
    twantt
    o
    besued.Idon’
    thavemoney
    .”
    “
    In6mont
    hsIwi
    l
    lbeout
    ,wear
    egoi
    ngt
    obea
    r
    ealf
    ami
    ly
    .”
    Lonassmi
    l
    ed.“
    Getoutf
    ir
    st.
    ”
    “
    Howi
    sthebaby
    ?”
    “
    Hei
    sfi
    ne.
    ”
    Hermotherwal
    kedi
    nthenshesatupr
    ight
    .“I
    havet
    ogo.Bye.
    ”
    Shequi
    ckl
    yhungupst
    ari
    ngathermot
    her
    .
    “
    Whoar
    eyout
    alki
    ngt
    o?”
    “
    Tendai
    .”
    “
    Hei
    sst
    il
    ldi
    vor
    cingLi
    na?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Youknowthi
    shousei
    sLina’
    sri
    ght
    ?It’
    sinher
    mot
    her’
    sname.Shewi
    llpr
    obabl
    yhaveno
    wher
    etogoandshewi
    l
    lcomebackher
    e.”
    “Iam mov i
    ngtoTendai’
    shousemama, wewil
    l
    got oget
    her.Li
    nacankeepthishouse,
    Idon’
    t
    care.Eit
    herway,i
    t’
    sjustol
    d.”
    “
    Whenar
    ewemov
    ing?
    ’
    “Assoonasshemov esout.Iam goi
    ngtobe
    theowneroft hathouseandunl i
    keLina,
    Iwon’t
    l
    etTendai marrymeoutofcommuni tyof
    proper
    ty.Ican’tbel
    ieveshesleptwit
    hherfat
    her
    i
    n-law.
    ”
    “
    Shef
    loor
    edme.
    ”
    “Iam notsur pr
    ised.Shedeser vesev er
    ythi
    ng
    comingherway .Iam goi ngtotakeTendai and
    everythingsheonceownedandIam doi ngthi
    s
    becauseshet r
    iedkil
    lingmybaby ,
    shewas
    goingt okil
    lthi
    sbabyandshewasgoi ngtodoit
    physicallyi
    fshecoul d.Ididn’
    treportherbut
    sheisgoi ngtosuf f
    erf orhersi
    ns.”
    Lonast
    ookabi
    teofherappl
    eandcont
    inued
    eat
    ingpr
    essi
    ngherphone.

    *
    **

    Atthehot el,Iputont hesparedr essAbehad


    broughtwi thtogetherwiththeflipfl
    ops.Hi s
    phonev i
    br atedfrom thebed,Ilookedatt he
    ensuitedoorandqui ckl
    ypickedi tup.Iswi ped
    thescreenandent eredhispasswor dt henwent
    tohismessageswer eIopenedacoupl eof
    messagest i
    llIcamedownt otheonehewas
    havingwi t
    hMapul a.Itwasonlyherone
    message.Iputt hephonedownandsatont he
    bedf eel
    inggui l
    tyforevengoingt hroughhi s
    phone.Abewal kedf rom t
    hebat hroom fixing
    hiscape.
    “
    Readyt
    ogo?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Hetookmyhandandwal kedoutwi
    thme.I
    nthe
    car,
    Abedrov
    eof fandl
    ookedatmewhil
    eI
    star
    edatmyring.
    “
    Doy
    oul
    i
    kei
    t?”
    “
    Ilov
    eit
    .It
    ’sbeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    “Iam goingtodropy ouof fathomethengoand
    seet hephysi
    otherapistconcerni
    ngmyleg.
    Afterthatwewillspendt heentir
    eday
    together.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Minuteslater,wewer ebothwalki
    nginsidet
    he
    house.Ipausedl i
    steningtoMalcolminthe
    ki
    tchenthenwal kedov erwithAbebehindme.
    Malcolmt urnedandlookedatust henranover
    huggingmet henAbe.Hepi ckedMalcup
    putt
    inghim onshoul ders.
    “
    Mama,
    Iam sot
    all
    .”
    Gi
    nasmi
    l
    edst
    ari
    ngatmyr
    ing.“
    Abe,
    hav
    eyou
    al
    readyspokent
    oyouruncl
    es?
    ”
    “
    Yeah,
    theyar
    eready
    .”
    Il
    ookedathi
    m andbl
    ushedashewi
    nked.
    “Iam goi
    ng,Iwi
    llseeyouinabi
    t.
    ”Heput
    Malcolm downandkissedme.“
    Ilov
    eyou.Take
    careofourbaby.
    ”
    “
    Uncl
    eAbe,
    Iwantt
    ogowi
    thy
    ou.
    ”
    “NoMalc,
    hewil
    lbebackj
    ustnow.Youar
    est
    il
    l
    hel
    pingGr
    anny
    .”
    “
    Butwear
    edone.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok,
    hecancomewi
    thbabe.
    ”
    “
    NoAbe,
    hewi
    l
    ldest
    ructy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lbehav
    emama.
    ”
    “
    No,
    hei
    scomi
    ngbacki
    sn’
    the?
    ”
    Abel
    ookedatme.“Hewi
    l
    ldest
    ructy
    ou.Just
    comebackqui
    ck.
    ”
    Hesi
    ghedandki
    ssedmeagai
    n.“
    Ok.
    ”He
    cr
    ouchedbef
    oreMalc.“Ok,Iam goi
    ngal
    onebut
    Iwi
    ll
    bebackjustnow,Iwill
    getyousomethi
    ng
    i
    fyouremai
    nagoodboy .
    ”
    Malcol
    m smi
    l
    edandhuggedhi
    m.“
    Ilov
    eyou
    uncl
    eAbe…”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oochamp.
    ”
    Hestoodupandsmi
    ledathi
    smot
    her
    .“Iwi
    l
    l
    seey
    ouallj
    ustnow.
    ”
    Hel
    ookedatmeonelastt
    imewit
    hasmil
    eand
    wal
    kedout
    .It
    urnedbackt
    oGinawhowasst
    il
    l
    smi
    li
    ng.
    “
    Yourr
    ingi
    sbeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    “
    Thanksma…”

    *
    **

    Ont
    lamest
    isi
    ghedst
    ari
    ngathermot
    her
    .
    “Ican’
    tbel
    iev
    eyougav
    eal
    lthatmoneyt
    oyour
    boyfri
    end.
    ”
    “
    Iwasstupi
    dmychildbutnowIam smar
    t.I
    wantt
    oreporthi
    m.”
    “
    Andsaywhat?Iwasrobbedwi
    thamant
    en
    y
    ear
    syoungerthanme?”
    “
    Yes,
    hei
    sat
    hief
    .”
    “
    Youdon’
    tthi
    nk.Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evey
    ou.
    ”
    “Di
    dyoutel
    lEazi
    ?Herr
    ichboy
    fri
    endwi
    l
    ltake
    car
    eofit
    .”
    “Eazi’
    smanishermanal one.Sheisget
    ti
    ng
    mar r
    iedandthi
    sti
    mear ound,Iam i
    nvol
    vingour
    uncles.Youdon’
    tdeser
    vet hatmoney.
    ”
    “
    Igav
    ebi
    rt
    htoheral
    one.
    ”
    “Yougivi
    ngbir
    tht
    oherdoesn’
    tmakey oua
    mot her
    .Iwi
    l
    lbeheretheent
    ir
    etimeandIam
    goingtomakesureyoudon’
    tgetany
    thing.
    ”
    *
    **

    Thebusf i
    nal
    lystoppedinPal
    apyethenBi na
    steppedoutwithherbag.Shesmil
    edlooki ng
    aroundasar ushofexci
    tementr
    ant hroughher
    body.Shetookoutherphoneandcal l
    edher
    man.
    Moemedi
    answer
    ed.“
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    Bi
    nalookedatthescr
    eenreal
    i
    zingthati
    ndeedi
    t
    washim butt
    henthefemalev
    oice…?
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?Babe,
    yourphone!
    ”
    Bina’
    sheartski
    ppedthenshedroppedthecal
    l
    andwalkedwi t
    hherbagtoataxiwhichwas
    parked.
    “
    Speci
    al?
    ”
    “
    Sur
    e,l
    et’
    sgo.
    ”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #30

    Bina’sheartpoundedasshegotneart ohi s
    house, shewasshakingandst i
    llnotsurewhat
    toexpectbuthehadawomant hatsheknew.A
    womanwhocal l
    edhim‘babe’.Thetaxistopped
    i
    nf rontofhisgatethenshetookoutsome
    moneyandgav ehim.
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Sur
    emysi
    ster
    .”
    Binasteppedoutwit
    hherbagsandwal kedto
    thegate.Shepusheditopenandwal kedin
    noti
    cinghiscarwasn’
    tthere.Shetr
    iedopening
    thedoorthoughitwaslocked.Tear
    sf i
    ll
    edher
    eyes,shecouldhavegott
    enthesparekey sthe
    l
    asttimebutshef or
    gottotel
    lhim.Shelooked
    atthedarkcloudsasacoldbreezehitherskin
    thenshesatont hever
    andawaiting.

    *
    **

    Ontl
    adrovebacktoMaunwhil
    etal
    ki
    ngt
    oEazi
    t
    hroughtheBluet
    oot
    hspeaker
    .
    “
    Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evet
    hiswomangav
    eherboy
    fri
    end
    t
    hatmoney.
    ”
    “Shedidandnowshehasnot hi
    ng.WhenAbe
    comest omar r
    yy ou, Iam goi
    ngtomakesur e
    shegetst hesmallestamountt hentherestwil
    l
    developthathouse.Thathousei sourfather
    ’s
    houseandshehast urnediti
    ntoherwhore
    palace.
    ”
    “
    Iagr
    ee.
    ”
    “Iwant
    edtoask,
    sinceMoemedi
    gotaj
    ob,
    does
    hesuppor
    tMalc?”
    “No, hesentmeamessageawhi leaft
    erthat
    j
    obandsai dtheonlywayhewoul dsupport
    Malcwasonl yi fIcamebacktohim.Ididn’
    t
    replytothemessagebecausehonest l
    yIdon’t
    care.Evenbef oreAbeItookcar
    eofhim andmy
    son.Idon’tneedhi shel
    p.”
    “
    Hei
    spr
    obabl
    yhav
    ingt
    het
    imeofhi
    sli
    fe.
    ”
    Eazil
    aughed.“Hewentandboughtt
    hesame
    carasAbe’s.
    ”
    Ont
    lal
    aughed.“
    Ser
    ious?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Hedid.Hisi
    sinbl
    ack,Ir
    eal
    l
    ydon’
    tcar
    e
    t
    hough.Lethi
    m dowhatev
    erhewant
    s.”
    “Ican’
    tbel
    i
    eveheboughtasi
    mil
    arcarwi
    th
    Abe’s.Hei
    scrazy
    .”
    “
    Hei
    s,Ihav
    etogo.Iam l
    ear
    ninghowt
    obake.
    ”
    “
    Wit
    hmot
    heri
    n-l
    aw?
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    wewi
    l
    ltal
    k.”
    Ontlahungupdr i
    v i
    ngi ntoamal l
    thenst epped
    out.Shelookedatherwat chandwal kedi nside
    themal lt
    oaf astf oodr estaurant.I
    nsideshe
    stoodinthequeueandwai tedpat i
    entlyast he
    queuemov edslowl y.Hert urncamet henshe
    orderedandwentt oanempt ytablewai t
    ingf or
    herordernumbert obecal l
    edout .Aman
    walkedov erandsatopposi t
    emewhi lepr essing
    hisphone.Her aisedhi sey esandl ookedather ,
    hewasdar kincompl exionwi t
    hacl eanhai rcut,
    heleanedbackst ari
    ngatherandOnt lakepther
    eyesf i
    xedonhi m.Hewassogoodl ookingher
    ownhear tskipped.Hel ookedatherf orawhi l
    e
    withoutasinglebl i
    nk.
    “
    What
    ’syourname?”Hi
    svoi
    cewasdeepand
    l
    owpi
    tched,i
    tsui
    thi
    m.Shetookadeepbr
    eat
    h.
    “
    Ont
    lamet
    si.
    ”
    Hef
    inal
    l
    ysmi
    l
    edmaki
    ngherseet
    hatdi
    mpl
    eon
    hi
    srightcheek.“Doy
    ouknowt hatgir
    lwhogot
    ki
    ll
    edandt hentheyt
    ookherparts?Youareher
    namesake.Howdoest hatmakey oufeel
    ?”
    Shechuckl
    ed.“
    Itr
    ynott
    othi
    nkabouti
    t.
    ”
    Hesmiledstar
    inginhereyes.“
    Mustbehard
    bei
    ngyou,that
    ’stheworstnameanyonecan
    hav
    e.”
    Herordernumbergotcall
    edthenshest
    oodup
    andcoll
    ectedherf
    ood.Hesmi l
    edasshe
    walkedbyholdi
    ngherfood.
    “
    Doy
    ouhav
    eacar
    ?Icangi
    vey
    oual
    i
    ft?
    ”
    “
    Iam f
    ine,
    butt
    hanks.
    ”
    “
    Byt
    hewayIam Tan.
    ”
    “
    Bye,
    Tan.
    ”
    Hesmi
    l
    edwat
    chi
    ngherwal
    kaway
    .

    *
    **
    Li
    nasati nherbedr oom whi letearsrandown
    hercheeks.Shehadbeenbyhi ssidewhent he
    housewasboughtandt hehousehadgr own
    i
    ntobeingher s,todayshewasl osi
    ngitall
    .Now
    shecouldn’
    treal l
    yblamehi m andheract i
    ons
    couldn’
    tbejust i
    fi
    edbutwhatabouthi m?He
    hadsleptwithhersi sterthengotherpr egnant
    .
    Shehadf orgi
    v enthat.Shet ookherphoneand
    cal
    ledhermot her’
    ssister.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    Tear
    srandownhercheeks.“
    Aunt
    y…”
    “
    Lina?Li
    nai
    sthaty
    ou?
    ”
    “
    Aunt
    ymyhear
    tisi
    npai
    n….
    ”
    “
    Lina…what
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “
    Whydi
    dmamaki
    l
    lher
    sel
    f?Iknowshedi
    d.”
    “
    Lina…”
    “
    Why
    ?Tel
    lme.
    ”
    “I
    t’
    salongstor
    y,i
    tneedsf
    acet
    oface.Buty
    ou
    don’
    thavetoknowallt
    hat
    .”
    “Ican’thavekids…It r
    iedi
    tallbecauseIwasso
    desper atet
    osav emymar ri
    age,Ibecamea
    vil
    laininmyownl i
    febecauseIwast r
    yingto
    sav esomethingt hathadameani ngtome, I
    wasgoi ngt
    of ightforhim.Buthesl eptwith
    Lonas, sheispr egnant,wi
    thhischild.Heis
    divorcingme, ofcausenowhehasar easonbut
    eveni fhedidn’thav ethereason,hewasst i
    ll
    goingt odiv
    orceme.Iqui tmyj obforhim and
    todayIam wal kingawaywi thnothi
    ng.”
    “Comebackhome, Iam herefory ou.Li
    naItoo
    don’thavekids,comet omemychi l
    d.Please…
    mysi st
    erisstil
    ltur
    ninginhergr avebecauseI
    neverfoughttotakey oufrom thatwoman,
    comehome.Comehomet ome, wewi l
    lthi
    nkof
    awayf orward.”
    “
    Aunt
    y…”
    “Comehome.Comebackhome.Youhav
    eno
    onether
    e,comehome.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Shehungupthenst
    art
    edpacki
    ngher
    bel
    ongi
    ngs.

    *
    **

    Ginagotof fthecabEazi hadcal ledf orherand


    pressedt hegater emotethent hegat esli
    dopen.
    Withhercr utches,shewalkedi nsidehergat e
    cl
    osingt heitbehindher.Sheunl ockedt hedoor
    andwal kedin.Ev ery
    thi
    ngwasj ustasshehad
    l
    eftit.Shesighedl ooki
    ngar oundt henwentt o
    herbedr oom wher esheopenedt hewar drobe
    andsi ghedlookingatallTaku’scl othes.Hewas
    sti
    lli
    nherhouse.Hewasgoi ngtol eaveet her
    wayandshewasgoi ngtomakesur eofit.She
    wouldn’thaveacheatofahusband.Shesat
    downt akingoutherphoneandcalledAbebut
    hisphonedi dn’
    tgothrough.Shesi
    ghed
    knowinghewoul dn’
    tunder st
    andherbei
    ngback
    i
    nherhousebutmi ssedherhome.Shehear d
    themai ndoorclosi
    ngt henwait
    edpati
    entl
    yti
    ll
    Takuwal kedinandlookedather.
    “
    Sweet
    hear
    t…”
    “
    Yourcl
    othes….Theyar
    est
    il
    lher
    e.”
    Heswall
    owed.“
    Idi
    dn’
    thav
    eti
    met
    opackl
    ast
    ni
    ght
    .”
    “
    Youcandoi
    tnow.
    ”
    “Youareangr
    yrightnow,don’
    tyout
    hinkwe
    shoul
    dwaitti
    lly
    ouar ecal
    m? ”
    “Iam cal
    m.Iam notshout
    ing,Ihav
    eacceptedi
    t
    andallIneedi
    sforyoutoleav
    emyhouse. ”
    “NotthatIam just
    ify
    ingmyacti
    ons,butIam
    notperfect.Justl
    i
    keanyotherhumanbeing,I
    makemi st
    akes.It
    ’sfi
    nei
    fmymi st
    akesare
    unf
    orgi
    vabl
    e,Iwi
    l
    lleav
    e.”
    Hestart
    edpackingwhi
    leshewatched.Hewent
    outwit
    hthefi
    rstloadt
    henherphonerang.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Gina,
    Igotacal
    lfr
    om Takuday
    sback.
    ”
    Gi
    nasmiledashersi
    sterspoke.“
    Iam l
    eavi
    ng
    hi
    m,Ishoul
    dhaveli
    stenedtoyouthatt
    ime.
    ”
    “No, t
    hatwast heworstadv i
    seIcouldhave
    giveny ou, Ihadn’tknownl ifebackthen.Iknow
    youar ehur t
    ingbutGina, thinkofallt
    heeffort
    youputi ntobui l
    dingthatfami l
    y.Howy ouran
    offtoZi mbabwef ort
    hatmanwi t
    hthatman, he
    i
    st hesamemanwhoshowedy ounothingbut
    l
    ov e,i
    fi thadbeensomeoneel sehewoul dhav e
    abusedy oubuthel ovedy ouev enthoughhe
    knewy ouhadnoonet here.Hecamebackand
    mar ri
    edy ouwi theverylastcenthehadwor ked
    for,hegav ey ouawhi teweddi ngandhedi d
    everythingf ory ou.Heisnotper fect,
    thi
    ngsl i
    ke
    thi
    shappen,youar egoingtol
    eavehim,
    someonewi l
    ltakehim andall
    thathar
    dworkof
    yearswi
    llbegonei nvain.I
    twi
    llhur
    tseei
    nghi
    m
    withsomeoneel se.
    ”
    Tear
    sf i
    l
    ledGi
    na’
    seyes.“
    WhatshouldIdo?He
    i
    ssleepingwi
    thmydaughteri
    n-l
    aw.
    ”
    “Hewassl eepingwithher .Youar etoosof t,you
    needt oputy ourfootdown.Menwi l
    l al
    way s
    cheatandnoonewant st oheart hisbuti fhe
    want s,hewi l
    lcheat.Isthatwhaty ouar egoing
    toteachTasha, i
    fso, howmanyt i
    meswi l
    lshe
    l
    eav e?Iam notsay ingdon' tleavebutaf t
    erall
    thesey ears,youarel eavi
    ng.37y ear sandy ou
    areleav i
    ng?Youhav einv est edal otintothis
    mar ri
    agef oryoutoj ustleav e.Youl eavingwi l
    l
    destroyy ou.Youwi l
    l dieofst ress.Youneedt o
    acceptt hateverymancheat s,justbecausey ou
    nevercaughthi m, doesn’tmakehi m perfect.
    Yeshecheat ed,acceptt hatandf orgivehim.
    Teachy ourki
    dshowt ofor giveandt eachthem
    t
    hatpeoplearenotper
    fectandweal
    lmake
    mist
    akes.That’
    sthewayoflif
    e.”
    Gi
    nalookedatTakuwal
    kingi
    ntotakemor
    eof
    hi
    sbelongi
    ngsthenwal
    kedout.
    “Il
    ovet
    hismansomuch,Imadehi
    mthecent
    er
    ofmyli
    feandhej
    usthur
    tme.”
    “Becausehei shuman.Takui sagoodman,
    othermenar ewor set hanhim.Hel ovesy ou,he
    putsyouf ir
    st.Thatmani sy ourmanGi na,don’
    t
    l
    etay ounggi rlwhodoesn’ tknowany thingtake
    awayt hat.Noonewi l
    lloveyoul ikeTaku, you
    knowi t.Thi
    si snotj ustarelationship,itsyears
    ofinvestment .Dowhaty ouf eelisrightbut
    alwaysknowev enifyouleav e,youar enot
    goingtomeetaper fectman. ”

    *
    **
    Ismiledstar
    ingatmycakewhi
    l
    eMal
    csmi
    l
    ed
    exci
    tedly
    .
    “
    Mama,
    wear
    eeat
    ingi
    t?”
    Il
    aughed.“
    No,
    wear
    egoi
    ngt
    owai
    t.
    ”
    “
    Foruncl
    eAbe?
    ”
    “
    Comeher
    eMal
    c.”
    Iwal
    kedwit
    hhimtothesit
    ti
    ngroom andsmil
    ed
    athi
    m.“Mal
    c,whatdoyouthi
    nkaboutcal
    li
    ng
    Uncl
    eAbedad?”
    Mal
    col
    m smi
    l
    ed.“
    CanIcal
    lhi
    mthat
    ?”
    Ichuckl
    ed.“
    Yes,hewoul
    dli
    kei
    tver
    ymuch.We
    aregett
    ingmarr
    iedsohei
    sgoi
    ngtobey
    our
    dad.”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lhi
    m dad!
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Isi
    ghedpi
    ckingmyphoneandtextedhim,he
    hadbeengoneforawhi
    lenow.Ilookedatmy
    del
    iver
    edmessagewi
    thasmilet
    hensi
    ghed.My
    phonerangt
    henIqui
    ckl
    yanswer
    ed.
    “
    Babe?
    ”
    “
    Uhhi
    t’
    sTi
    fano.
    ”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Oh,
    hi…”
    “
    Hi,
    howar
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Iam f
    ine,
    thanks.
    ”
    “
    Ical
    ledy
    oubecauset
    herear
    ejobv
    acanci
    es
    wher
    eIam nowworki
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Oh,
    thanky
    oubutIst
    art
    edmyownbusi
    ness.
    ”
    “
    Youdi
    d?”
    “
    Yes,
    it’
    sgoi
    nggood.
    ”
    “Iam happyfory
    ou,
    may
    bewecanmeet
    somet i
    me.”
    “
    Iam nowengaged.
    ”
    “
    ToMoemedi
    ?”
    Il
    aughed.“
    No!
    ”
    Ti
    fanol
    aughed.“
    Isee,
    ok,
    seey
    ouar
    oundEazi
    .”
    Hehungt henIputmyphonedownand
    watchedTVwi thMalcolm.Hoursslowlypassed
    ti
    l
    litwasafterdusk.Iworr
    iedlyst
    oodupand
    pacedaroundtryi
    ngtocallhisnumberbutit
    wasn’tgoi
    ngthrough.Ical
    ledhisbrot
    her.
    “
    Eazi
    …”
    “Hey
    ,haveyouspokent
    oAbe?Hehasbeen
    gonethewhol
    eday.”
    “
    Ilastspoket
    ohi
    mint
    hemor
    ning.
    ”
    “
    Hisphonei
    snotgoi
    ngt
    hrough.
    ”
    “Letmecal
    ltoacoupl
    eofpeopl
    eandgetback
    atyou.
    ”
    “
    Iam scar
    ed.
    ”
    “He’sf
    ine,
    not
    hingtoworr
    yabout
    .Pr
    obabl
    y
    planni
    ngsomethi
    ngfory
    ou.”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Ok,
    docal
    lmeback.
    ”
    “
    Shar
    p.”

    *
    **

    InPalapye,Binasatbyt heverandawi thher


    headburiedbet weenherl egsshaki ngwi thcold.
    Itwasstil
    lrai
    ningandhewasnotbacky et,his
    phonewasn’ tgoingt hroughany mor e.She
    wipedawayhert earswonder ingwhyshehadn’ t
    broughtajacketorsomet hi
    ngwar mt oputon.
    Sli
    ghtshower sofr ai
    nhi therbodywhent he
    windcameandshet ookadeepbr eath.Hewas
    surel
    ygoingt ocomebackandhewoul df ind
    herhere,shewasr eadyt ofi
    ghtforherman
    especial
    l
    ynowt hatshewascar r
    yinghi schild.
    Herstomachmadeasoundmaki ngher
    swall
    owhar d.
    *
    **

    Meanwhi
    l
    einGaborone,Tashahanded
    Moemedihi
    sfoodsmili
    ng.
    “
    Ican’
    tbeli
    evey
    ouwanttomeetmybr
    other
    s,I
    t
    houghtyouwouldpr
    ocr
    ast
    inat
    e.”
    “Theyareri
    ghttowantt
    omeetme,y
    oualway
    s
    comet oPalapy
    eandnooneknowsme,
    whatif
    somethinghappenst
    oyou?
    ”
    Sheki
    ssedhi
    m.“
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.Ial
    sowanty
    out
    omeetmyson.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iam r
    eady
    .”
    Tasha’
    sphoner
    angt
    henshepi
    ckedi
    tup.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hey
    ,hav
    eyouspokent
    oAbet
    oday
    ?”
    “
    NoTi
    no,
    what
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “
    Eazi
    sai
    dhehasbeengonet
    hewhol
    eday
    .”
    “
    Didn’
    ttheyj
    ustgetengaged?
    ”
    “Theydid,Iam wor
    ri
    ed.Hesaidsomething
    unsett
    li
    ngi nt
    hemor ni
    ng,nowIam t
    hinking
    aboutitandIam fr
    eakingout
    .”
    “
    Whatdi
    dhesay
    ?”
    “Hesai
    dhehasbadfeel
    ingli
    kesomethi
    ngi
    s
    goi
    ngtohappentohi
    m orEaziandt
    hathei
    s
    act
    uall
    yscar
    ed.
    ”
    Tashastoodup.“
    Doy
    out
    hinksomet
    hingbad
    happened?”
    “
    Ithi
    nksomet
    hingi
    swr
    ong.Don’
    ttel
    lmama
    y
    et.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “Weshouldstartl
    ookingforhi
    m,poli
    cestati
    ons
    andhospit
    als.Ihavecal
    ledever
    yoneincl
    uding
    thephysi
    otherapi
    st,
    hewentandl ef
    tearl
    y.He
    saidhewasgoi ngbackhomebuthei snot
    home.”
    “Whatifhewentt
    oMahalapyetoseehishouse,
    probabl
    yheisonhiswaybackandhisphone
    off.
    ”
    “Hewouldhav
    etol
    dEazi
    ,het
    ell
    sher
    ever
    ythi
    ng.
    ”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #31

    Thenextmor ni
    ngIsatont hecouchst ar
    ingat
    thewall
    s,Ihadn’
    tsl
    epttheent ir
    enightbut
    rat
    herIhadwaitedforhim, goi
    ngf r
    om being
    worri
    edtobeingangryanddi sappoint
    edand
    backtobeingworri
    edagai n.Itookmyphone
    andtri
    edtexti
    nghim buttearsfil
    l
    edmyey es
    blur
    ri
    ngmyv
    isi
    on.Ti
    nocal
    l
    edt
    henIanswer
    ed
    snif
    fi
    ng.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hey
    ,isheback?
    ”
    “
    Ngng…Iam scar
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Don’
    tbe,
    wewi
    l
    lfi
    ndhi
    m.”
    “
    Whati
    fsomet
    hinghappenedt
    ohi
    m?”
    “Eazi
    ,Ineedyout
    ocal
    m down.Not
    hing
    happened.”
    “Thenwhereisy
    ourbrother
    ?”Ibr
    okedown
    cryi
    ng.“
    TinoIam scar
    ed.”
    “
    Iam comi
    ng.
    ”
    Hehungupt henIburi
    edmyf
    acei
    nmyhands
    cry
    ing.Awhil
    elat
    er,Ti
    nowal
    kedi
    nandl
    ooked
    atmypuffyeyes.
    “Canyoupl
    easenotst
    ress,
    youar
    ecar
    ryi
    nga
    baby.
    ”
    “
    Iam scar
    ed.
    ”
    “Youdon’
    thav etobescar ed.Idon’
    tknow
    whereheis, Ihonestl
    ydon’ tbutwhatIknowis
    thatwher
    ev erhei s,
    hei saliv
    e.Don’
    tletthe
    negati
    vethought sstressyousomuch. ”
    Tearsbur
    ntmyeyes,
    hewal
    kedov
    erand
    huggedmeti
    ghtl
    y.
    “
    Wewi
    l
    lfi
    ndhi
    m,Ipr
    omi
    sey
    out
    hat
    .”
    Tinohel
    dmetil
    lIwascal
    mthenhest
    oodup.
    “Ok,hav
    eyoueaten?
    ”
    Ishookmyhead.“
    Iam nothungr
    y.”
    “Youar enoteati
    ngf ory ourselfher
    e,atl
    east
    thi
    nkf orthatchi
    ld.Idon’ tknowhowt ocook,I
    wil
    ljustgety ousomet hingf r
    om anyopenshop
    ordoy ouhav esomet hingi nthefri
    dge?”
    “
    Yesbut
    -“
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lheati
    tup.
    ”
    Hewal
    kedy
    out
    heki
    tchent
    hencameback
    mi
    nut
    esl
    aterandhandedapl
    ateoff
    oodt
    ome.
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Didy
    ousl
    eep?
    ”
    Isl
    owl
    yshookmyhead.“
    Icoul
    dn’
    tsl
    eep.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Ithi
    nky
    oushoul
    dgetsomesl
    eep.
    ”
    “
    Ican’
    tsl
    eepwi
    thoutknowi
    ngwher
    eAbei
    s.”
    “
    Iam notaski
    ngyou,y
    ouaregoingtorestand
    whenyouwakeup,youwil
    lbethinki
    ngmuch
    morecl
    earl
    y.Youneedtor
    est.
    ”
    Il
    ookedathim abouttopr otestbutwit
    hhim
    st
    andingsotal
    llookingdownonme, Isi
    ghed
    l
    ooki
    ngdownonmypl ate.Hewasdef i
    nit
    elya
    di
    ff
    erentseedfrom hisbrother.

    *
    **

    Li
    nadr
    ovei
    nsi
    deherAunt
    ’sy
    ardandpar
    ked
    underthebi
    gMor ul
    at r
    eenearthehouse.She
    steppedoutofhercarasherauntwalkedover
    andhuggedher.
    “
    Lina…”
    “
    Ma…”
    Herauntsteppedbackandlookedather
    ,she
    hadlostsomuchwei ghti
    tdidn’
    tev
    enlookli
    ke
    her
    .
    “Whenlastdi
    dyoueat
    ?Youl
    ookl
    i
    ket
    hewi
    nd
    canjustt
    akeyouaway.
    ”
    “
    Iam f
    ine.Iam sohappyt
    oseey
    ou.
    ”
    “Metoo.Youknowy
    ouar
    eal
    way
    swel
    come
    her
    e.”
    Theywal
    kedi
    nsi
    det
    hehouseandsatdown.
    “Youruncl
    ewentout,
    hewil
    lbebackj
    ustnow
    andthekidsar
    eplay
    ing,
    howareyou?
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tknow.
    ”
    “
    Sitdownandt
    ell
    mewhathappened.
    ”
    Li
    nalookedatherAuntknowi
    ngshet
    oowould
    j
    udgeherthensheshookherheadwi
    thaf
    orced
    smil
    e.
    “
    Justl
    i
    fe.
    ”
    Herauntnodded.“ WellIam gladthatl i
    fehas
    taughtyousomet hi
    ng.Youdon’ tgi veallyour
    eggstoamanandexpecthi mtot akecar eof
    thoseeggsashi swhiley oustandwi thnot hing.
    Youhav ebeenmar ri
    edf ortwoy earsandy ou
    havenothing.Youarejustlikethatgi r
    l
    cohabiti
    ngwi t
    hherboy fr
    iendbehindher
    parent’
    sback.Youar ewr ongtohav equi ty our
    j
    obt hi
    nkingitwasgoingt obeabedf ull
    of
    rosesbutnowy ouwil
    llearn.Tendai didal otfor
    himselfwhil
    ey ousathomecooki ngand
    washing,youar est
    il
    lhere,withadegr eeand
    youarecr y
    ing.Whatkindofawomanar ey ou? ”
    “
    IthoughtIwassuppor
    ti
    nghi
    m.”
    “Nextti
    mesuppor tyoursel
    f.Thisi
    sahungry
    worldandy ouhavet omakemeansmeet .How
    couldyouhelphim buildhi
    scr owni
    nhishead
    whil
    ey ouletyour
    sf all
    .Nowy ouhavet
    opickit
    up,dustitandputitbackinyourhead.
    ”
    Li
    nawi
    pedawayhert
    ear
    s.
    “Ify ouar ecryingt hencr yitalloutaf tert oday
    thenwewi llmov eon, Therei snothingwecan
    do, hewant sadi v
    or ceandt hat’
    sthat .You
    madef ooli
    shdeci si onsandy ouaregoi ngt o
    payf orthem.Get ti
    ngmar rieddoesn’ tmeany ou
    stopwor kingf ory our self,otherwomenhav e
    secr etaccount swi tht heirmoney ,theywoul d
    alway sfallbackont hatmoneywhent hingsget
    har d.Youar eal awy er ,i
    t’
    st imey oust op
    behav i
    ngl i
    kesomeonewi thnof orm 5and
    act uallyactivateyourmi nd.Iam notgoi ngt o
    sugarcoatany thing, weal lhadithar d, your
    situat i
    oni sbettert hanmost .”
    Asmal
    lchi
    l
    dwal
    kedi
    nthehousemaki
    ngLi
    na
    frownsli
    ght
    ly.Thekidhuggedherauntand
    greetedbot
    hoft hem bef
    oredi
    sappeari
    ngto
    therooms.
    “
    Who’
    sthat
    ?”
    “
    Youruncl
    edeci
    dedt
    omakeanot
    herone.
    ”
    “
    Samewoman?
    ”
    “Yes.Samewoman.Idon’ tcryanymor e,
    Ijust
    l
    ookashebr i
    ngsmor eofhi skidshere,
    somet i
    meshet akesthem toherbecausenow
    theyknowt hat’sthei
    rrealmot herandIam just
    thecaretaker.Whent heygot here,t
    heywi l
    lbe
    gonef ordays,Idon’tevenquest i
    onany t
    hing.I
    havegr ownintoaccept ance,whenIhav e
    workedenough, Iam goingtotakemy selftoa
    l
    ongv acation.May beIwi l
    lmeetawhi teman
    there.
    ”
    Li
    nal
    aughed.“
    Aunt
    y!”
    “
    Iam t
    ir
    edofblackmen,Iwi
    l
    lmeetawhi
    teman
    t
    hendi
    vorcey
    ouruncle.
    ”
    “
    TsenawenaAunt
    y!”
    Heraunt
    ylaughed.“Come,
    let
    ’smake
    somethi
    ngtoeat.”

    *
    **

    Moemedi par
    kedhiscarbesidesTasha’s
    brot
    her’
    sthentheybothsteppedout.Shehel
    d
    hishandastheywalkedtowardsthedoorand
    knocked.
    “
    Areyousur
    ethi
    sist
    her
    ight
    ful
    timet
    odo
    t
    his?
    ”
    Tashasmil
    ed.“
    Ther
    eisnor
    ight
    ful
    time,
    my
    brot
    heri
    smissi
    ngandwewanttohelpf
    ind
    hi
    m.”
    ThedooropenedandTi nol
    ookedatbot
    hof
    them t
    henthei
    rconj
    oinedhands.
    “
    Tino,
    thi
    sisMoemedi
    ,Moemedi
    ,thi
    sismy
    br
    other
    ,Ti
    no.
    ”
    Moemedi smil
    edstr
    etchi
    nghishandtogreet
    herbrot
    her,Ti
    nogavehim astr
    onghandshake
    squeezi
    nghishandstari
    nginhisey
    esmaking
    hi
    m swallow.
    “
    Nicemeet
    ingy
    ou.
    ”
    Tashasi
    ghed.“
    Hav
    eyouf
    oundany
    thi
    ng?
    ”
    Ti
    nol
    etgot
    henl
    ookedathi
    ssi
    ster
    .“No.
    ”
    Theywal
    kedinsidethehousewhileMoemedi
    l
    ookedaround.Thathandshakehadlefthi
    s
    thr
    oatdr
    y.Theysatdown.Tashasi ghed.
    “Wherei
    sshe?”
    “
    Itol
    dhertosl
    eepf
    orawhi
    l
    e,shedi
    dn’
    tsl
    eep
    t
    heenti
    reni
    ght.
    ”
    “
    Shemustbewor
    ri
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Yeah…”
    Ti
    nol
    ookedatMoemedi
    moreli
    kegl
    ari
    ngat
    hi
    m.Unsur
    eofwhatt
    odo,Moemedi
    looked
    down.Malcol
    m walkedoutofhi
    sroom wi
    thhi
    s
    drawi
    ngthenpausedstar
    ingatMoemedi.
    Ti
    nosmi
    l
    ed.“
    Heychamp,
    youcanshowme.
    ”
    Moemedit
    urnedandlookedathissonst
    andi
    ng
    f
    arfr
    om hi
    m.Hesmi l
    edst andi
    ngup.
    “
    Mal
    c…”
    “Iam notgoi
    ngwit
    hyou.MommyandIar
    e
    goingtostaywi
    thmynewdadnow.
    ”
    Moemedifrownedconfused.Ti
    nolookedat
    Moemediputti
    ngthedotstoget
    herthen
    chuckl
    ed.
    “
    Iknewt
    her
    ewassomet
    hingabouty
    ou…”

    *
    **

    I
    nt hebedr
    oom,Iputonmyfli
    pfl
    opswit
    hmy
    phoneinmyhands,hest
    il
    lhadn’
    tsai
    danyt
    hing
    yet
    .Iworri
    edl
    ywalkedoutt
    othesit
    ti
    ngr
    oom
    butpausedbehi
    ndMalcol
    m st
    ari
    ngatMoemedi
    .
    “
    Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngher
    e?”
    Hel
    ookedatmet
    henMal
    col
    m.Tashast
    oodup.
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngonher
    e?”
    “
    That
    ’sher
    ,myex.
    ”
    TashalookedatEazi
    andherson.“
    Eazi
    isy
    our
    exwife?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Tashachuckl
    ed.“
    Wow!Ican’
    tbeli
    evethi
    s.And
    mybrotheri
    sthemanyouweretalki
    ngabout?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Tinoshookhishead.“Iam gl
    adyoufoundout
    now.Imaginelear
    ningaboutthi
    sscumbagin
    thelat
    efut
    ure.”
    Tashachuckl
    ed.“Di
    dn’
    titoccurt
    oyouthat
    maybeEaziistheonewronghere?Shel
    efthi
    m
    formyr i
    chbrother
    ,tal
    kaboutmovingt
    o
    greenerpast
    ures.Soyoursonevencal
    lsmy
    brotherhi
    sdadwhi l
    ehisowndadisali
    ve?
    ”
    Il
    ookedatTasha.“
    Whatar
    eyout
    alki
    ngabout
    ?”
    “Howy ouhavebeendeny i
    nghim hi
    schil
    dso
    thatmybr ot
    hercont
    inuesrai
    singhi
    m doing
    every
    thingforhi
    m.Youpr et
    endtobeperfect
    butIseethroughyou.Youareagolddigger.
    ”
    “Idon’tknowwhatMoemedi t
    oldy
    oubutyou
    can’tj
    udgemewi t
    houthear
    ingmysideofthe
    story.
    ”
    “Idon’twanttohearanyt
    hing,
    youhave
    compl et
    elybrai
    nwashedmybr ot
    hermaki
    ng
    him beli
    evethatyouarei
    nlovewithhi
    m when
    youareonl yusi
    nghim.”
    “
    Tasha-
    “
    “NoTino,
    thi
    swomanisagolddigger.Where
    didy
    ougetmoneytostar
    tyourbusiness?That
    wasmybr ot
    her
    ’smoneybecauseyouar e
    not
    hingEazi
    .Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evet
    his.
    ”
    Tashawalkedoutl
    eav
    ingmeshocked.“
    Whydi
    d
    youli
    etoher?”
    “
    Idi
    dn’
    tli
    e,It
    oldhert
    heent
    ir
    etr
    uth.
    ”
    Tinowat
    chedhi
    m wal
    koutandl
    ookedbackat
    Eazi.
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “Idon’tknowbuti fyoursist
    ercontinueswi t
    h
    him, she’sheadingdown.Thatmani scrazy,for
    met ol eave,hewasabusi ngme.Youcanask
    Abe, hewi tnessedi
    t.Hewoul dabusemei n
    frontofmyson.Iwoul dnev erdenyhim hisson
    buthesai dhewouldn’tsupporthimifIdidn’t
    getbackt ohim.Moemedi i
    sgoingtohur ther.”
    Tinowalkedoverandhuggedherwhil
    epull
    i
    ng
    Malcol
    m closert
    ohim.“Iam sor
    ry.Hewon’
    tget
    anywher
    enearhi m.”
    ThedooropenedandGi
    nawal
    kedi
    n.Isi
    ghed
    wal
    kingov
    erthenshehuggedmeti
    ght
    ly.“
    We
    wi
    ll
    findhi
    m,heisali
    vesweety
    .”
    “
    Iam scar
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Don’
    tbe,
    weal
    lher
    efory
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Sit
    …”
    Gi
    nasatdownasIwal
    kedt
    otheki
    tchen.

    *
    **

    Meanwhi
    l
    eTi nol
    ookedathi
    smot
    hert
    hen
    wal
    kedoverandsat
    .
    “
    Ihav
    ebeensear
    chi
    ng,
    Ican’
    tfi
    ndhi
    m.”
    “Wewillf
    indhim,whatar
    ey oudoingwithy
    our
    brot
    her’
    swife?Sheisvul
    nerabler
    ightnow,you
    can’
    tadvancetoherli
    kethat.
    ”
    Ti
    nochuckledlicki
    nghislowerli
    p.“
    Iam not
    doi
    nganythingwithher
    ,justcomfor
    ti
    ngher.
    ”
    “
    Tino,
    youar
    emyson…”
    “Imetherf ir
    st.Isawherfir
    st,
    Itol
    dAbeabout
    thegir
    l whowor kedinChoppiesthatIhadf all
    en
    i
    nl ov
    ewi t
    h.Thatsamedayhemether
    somewher eelseandfelli
    nlovewit
    hher .Ididn’
    t
    sayany thi
    ngandIwon’ tbecauseIrespecthim
    asabr other.Iam overherandIhavemov edon,
    stoptryi
    ngt omakemeseem l i
    keav i
    ll
    ain.”
    “Iam notdoi
    ngt
    hat
    ,Iam j
    ust
    …”Shesi
    ghed.“
    I
    didn’
    tknowyoumetherf
    ir
    st.
    ”
    “I
    tdoesn’
    tmat
    terbecauseAbet
    reat
    sherr
    ight
    ,
    shedeser
    vest
    hat.
    ”

    *
    **

    I
    nPalapy
    e,Bi
    nasmi
    l
    edt
    hankf
    ull
    yatMoemedi
    ’
    s
    nei
    ghbor
    .
    “
    Thanky
    ousomuchf
    ort
    aki
    ngmei
    n.”
    “
    Youar
    ewel
    come.
    ”
    Shewalkedoutoft
    hei
    ryar
    dandheadedtothe
    nearbyt
    uckshopwher
    esheboughtai
    rt
    imeand
    cal
    ledhi
    m.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Soy
    oujustl
    efty
    ourhouseknowi
    ngIwas
    comi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    rybabe,
    Ihadanemer
    gency
    .”
    “
    Ihear
    daf
    emal
    evoi
    ce.
    ”
    “
    Myf
    ri
    end’
    sgi
    rl
    fr
    iendanswer
    edt
    hephone.
    ”
    Tear
    sfil
    ledherey
    es.“
    Moemedi
    Iam not
    st
    upid.
    ”
    “Andwhosaidy ouar
    e?Myf ri
    end’sgi
    rl
    fr
    iend
    answeredbecauseourphoneslookthesame.
    Shetol
    dmeawhi lel
    ater
    ,Iam sorr
    y.Il
    eftt
    he
    keysathome.”
    “
    Youdi
    d?”
    “Yes,
    Ithi
    nkyoushouldmakeyourownkey
    s
    thaty
    oustaywit
    hincaseyoumaycomewhileI
    am atwork.
    ”
    Binasmiled.“
    Youarer
    ight
    ,Isl
    eptaty
    our
    neighbor
    ’shouse.
    ”
    “Thekey
    sar
    ether
    e,behi
    ndt
    hehouseundera
    bri
    ck.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    I-“
    Thecallcutduet oinsuffi
    cientfunds.Bina
    walkedbackt ohishousewi t
    hherbagt hen
    wentbehindt hehousewher eshet ookthekeys
    andunlockedt hedoor .Shewal kedinwitha
    sighthenlookedatt hedirtyplatesanddirt
    y
    house.Shewal kedtot hebedr oom andputher
    bagdownl ooki
    ngar ound.Thef emalescent
    wasst i
    ll
    strongintheai r,i
    twasanexpensi ve
    perfume,shewassur eofit.Shest ar
    tedlooki
    ng
    foranyfemal ebel
    ongi ngsturningtheentir
    e
    room upsidedownt ill
    shewal kedt othe
    bathroom whereever
    ythi
    ngwas,thet
    owel,t
    he
    toothbrushandpanti
    es.Shel
    ookedatthebody
    l
    otionwi tht
    ear
    sinhereyes.
    “
    Godno….
    ”

    *
    **

    AtAbe’
    shouse,acardrov
    einoutsi
    deasweall
    l
    ookedateachothert
    hensecondsl
    atert
    her
    e
    wasaknock.Ist
    oodupandopened.Myheart
    ski
    ppedasIfr
    ozetherest
    ari
    ng.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #32
    Abel
    ookedatmeandsmi
    l
    ed.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    Tear
    sfi
    l
    ledmyey
    es.“
    Wher
    ewer
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    CanIcomei
    n?”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyoucomi
    ngf
    rom?
    ”
    “
    Canwet
    alki
    nsi
    de?
    ”
    “
    Notel
    lmenowAbedi
    l
    e,wher
    ear
    eyoucomi
    ng
    f
    rom?”
    “
    Iwentt
    oseemyuncl
    e.”
    “
    Toseey
    ouruncl
    ewher
    e?”
    “
    Hewasi
    nFr
    anci
    stown,
    Iwentt
    her
    e.”
    “
    Whyar
    eyoul
    yi
    ngtome?Andy
    oucoul
    dn’
    tcal
    l
    met
    otel
    lmet
    hat?
    ”
    “
    Myphonei
    sof
    f.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    edi
    dyousl
    eep?
    ”
    “
    Inal
    odge,
    wit
    hmyuncl
    e.”
    “
    AbeIam notst
    upi
    d.”
    “Iknow,Iam wrongfornotcommuni cat
    ingwith
    you,Iknowy ouwereworri
    ed,Ishouldhave
    tri
    edotherwaystocommuni catewithyou,Iam
    sorrybutIhadtodothis.
    ”Thedooropenedand
    amanst eppedout.Hesmi l
    edwalkingover
    taki
    ngof fhi
    scatfr
    om hishead.
    “
    Daught
    er…”
    Il
    ookedathi
    mthenbackatthemanwho
    l
    ookedli
    kehi
    sfat
    herbutj
    ustyounger
    .
    “
    Uncl
    ethi
    sisher,
    themotherofmykids,babe,
    t
    hisi
    smyuncle,
    myf at
    her’
    solderbr
    other
    .”
    Irespect
    ful
    l
    ystr
    etchedmyhandtogr eethi
    m
    buthehuggedwithonearm.“Noneedt obe
    formal,y
    ouaremydaughter
    .”Hesteppedback
    l
    ookingatmybell
    y.“Abe…congr
    atulati
    ons.
    ”
    “
    Thanksuncl
    e.”
    Iopenedt
    hedoorwi
    der
    .“Youcancomei
    n…”
    Hi
    suncl
    ewal
    kedi
    nfi
    rstt
    henAbet
    ri
    edt
    ouchi
    ng
    me.
    “Don’
    ttouchme.Iwasworri
    edabouty
    ou,I
    didn’
    tsl
    eeplastni
    ght
    .Youcoul
    dhavesenta
    simplemessage,t
    hatwoul
    dhavebeenfi
    ne.
    ”
    “
    Iknowbabe,
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    Ilookedathimf orawhi l
    eandshookmyhead
    foll
    owi ngaf
    terhisunclewhowasalready
    l
    aughi ngwitheveryone.Gi
    nasmil
    ed.
    “
    Iam sohappyt
    oseey
    ou.
    ”
    “Yourboydraggedmehere,Iwasher
    eon
    business.Hesayshewantstogetmarr
    ied.
    ”
    Gi
    napatt
    edthespacebesi
    deherthenIwalked
    ov
    erandsat
    .“Yes,t
    othi
    sbeauti
    fulfl
    ower
    .”
    “I
    ndeed,
    weshouldgett
    heball
    roll
    i
    ngbutf i
    rst
    ,
    weneedtodeal
    wi t
    hasit
    uat
    ionthatIam only
    hear
    ingnow.
    ”
    Irai
    sedmyeyesandcaughtTi
    nostar
    ingatme,
    oureyesl
    ockedf
    oramomentt henIl
    ooked
    down.
    Gi
    nalookedatAbe.“
    SoAbey
    ouj
    ust
    di
    sappear
    ?”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Eaziwassoworr
    iedabouty
    ou,shedi
    dn’
    tsl
    eep.
    I
    sthatt
    hewayyoutreaty
    oursoontobewi
    fe.
    ”
    Hesmiledshaki
    nghi
    shead.“
    Itwon’
    thappen
    agai
    n.”
    “
    Good.
    ”

    *
    **

    Lornassteppedoutofthetaxiandpr
    essedthe
    gateremote.Thetaxidrov
    einasshef ol
    l
    owed
    behindthensheunlockedthedoorandwent
    backforherbag.Herphoner angasshepushed
    herbagi
    nsi
    det
    hehouse.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hav
    eyoumov
    ed?
    ”
    “Yes,thanky
    ouf orputti
    ngthehouseinour
    chil
    d'
    sname.Iwoul dn’thav
    emov edifyou
    hadn’tdonethatbecauseLinawouldthr
    owme
    out.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    llbeoutsoon,
    mysondeser
    vesnot
    hingbut
    t
    hebest.
    ”
    Lonassmil
    eddraggi
    ngherbagupst
    air
    stot
    he
    room t
    hatwasoncehersi
    ster
    ’s.
    “
    Iwassoscar
    edt
    hinki
    ngIwoul
    dbeal
    onei
    n
    t
    his.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    ldoany
    thi
    ngf
    ormychi
    l
    d.Ihav
    etogo.
    ”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Hehungupthenshesmi
    l
    ed.Shet
    wist
    edher
    l
    ipsandcal
    l
    edLina.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Itol
    dyouIwoul
    drepl
    acey
    oudi
    dn’
    tI?
    ”
    “
    Lonas?
    ”
    “
    Iam nowst
    ayi
    ngi
    nthehousey
    ouusedt
    ocal
    l
    y
    ours.
    ”
    “
    Youmov
    edi
    ntomyhouse?
    ”
    “
    Myhouse.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    einmyhouseLonas?
    ”
    “
    Youtr
    iedki
    l
    li
    ngmybaby
    ,youar
    egoi
    ngt
    o
    r
    egr
    eti
    t.”
    “Soy ouhavemovedint
    omyhouseLonas?You
    sleepwithmyhusbandandnowyouhave
    mov edintomyhouse?”
    “Idon’
    tevenfeelguil
    tybecauseyouaret
    he
    devil
    ’
    sdaughter.Ican’
    tbeli
    eveyouevensl
    ept
    withhisf
    ather,
    outofev er
    ythi
    ngyoucando.”
    “
    Yourmot
    herki
    l
    ledmymot
    her
    ,mov
    edi
    ntomy
    mother
    ’shouse,replacedherandnowthat
    samewoman’ sdaught ersl
    eptwit
    hmyhusband
    undert
    hepretenseofhel pi
    ngme,tookmy
    houseandyouar etakingmyhusband.”
    “
    Yourmot
    herki
    l
    ledher
    sel
    f!
    ”
    “
    Yourmot
    herki
    l
    ledher
    .”
    “Bel
    i
    evewhat everyouwantt
    obeli
    eve,
    it’
    snot
    mymot her’
    sfaulty
    ourmotherwasaweakli
    ng
    anddecidedtohanghersel
    f.
    ”
    LinahungupthenLonaslookedatherphone
    real
    izi
    ngwhatshehadjustsaid.Herphone
    vibr
    atedminut
    eslat
    er.
    Li
    na: Iam notgoingtof i
    ghtyou,ifi
    tmakesy ou
    happy ,
    takeev ery
    thi
    ng.Ihopeev erythi
    ngwor ks
    outfory ou.Ican’
    tsayany thi
    ngtoy oubecause
    i
    fyouwer emyr ealsi
    steryouwoul dhav enever
    sl
    eptwi thmyhusbandnomat ter
    .Yes, maybe
    mymot herwasaweakl i
    nganddeci dedt ohang
    herself
    .Iam notaweakl ing,Iam actual
    ly
    someonewhowentt ouniversit
    yandgota
    degr ee,unli
    key ouwhofailedherform 5.Iam
    goingt orise,lookforaj
    obandmov eonwi t
    h
    l
    ife.Pleasedot el
    lyourmot hertol
    eav emy
    housewi t
    hi mmedi at
    eeffect.Sheshoul dtake
    every t
    hingthatbelongstoherandl eav eby
    tonightmi dnight,t
    hankyouf orunderstanding.

    *
    **

    TashahuggedMoemedi
    .
    “
    Thanky
    ouf
    ormeet
    ingmybr
    other
    .”
    “Noonei
    sgoi
    ngt
    oli
    kemesi
    nceIam Eazi
    ’
    s
    ex.
    ”
    “Iam goi
    ngt
    oexposehert
    oeveryone.Weneed
    toinvol
    veal
    awyersot
    hatyoucangetyour
    chil
    d.”
    “
    Iam st
    il
    lwor
    kingoni
    t,nowIcan’
    taf
    for
    da
    l
    awy
    erbecauseIam st
    il
    lpay
    ingt
    hecar
    ’sl
    oan.
    ”
    Sheki
    ssedhi
    mt henwatchedhi
    m geti
    nthecar
    .
    Hewaveddri
    vi
    ngoffjustasTi
    nodrovei
    n.
    “Thatmanisgoi
    ngtobrai
    nwashy
    ou,
    ther
    eis
    nothi
    nggoodabouthi
    m.”
    “Why?Becausey
    oubel
    i
    eveev
    ery
    thi
    ngEazi
    says?
    ”
    “
    Shehasnor
    easont
    oli
    e.”
    “
    Shehas,
    shedoes,
    shei
    sagol
    ddi
    gger
    .”
    “
    Don’
    tsayt
    hati
    nfr
    ontofAbe.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    ewashe?
    ”
    “
    Hewentt
    otakeUncl
    eCf
    rom Fr
    anci
    stown.
    ”
    “
    Andhedi
    dn’
    tbot
    hert
    ocommuni
    cat
    e?”
    “
    Hesaidhisphonewasoff
    .Di
    dhealsotel
    lyou
    t
    hatt
    hemoneyheusedt opayEazi
    ’
    sbri
    deprice
    wasEazi
    ’
    s?”
    “
    Yes,
    Eazi
    justwant
    edt
    ogetmar
    ri
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    edoeshest
    ay?
    ”
    “
    InPal
    apy
    e.”
    “
    Adr
    ess,
    justi
    ncase.
    ”
    “Iwil
    lsendit
    ,Il
    ov eMoemedi,forthefir
    sttime
    everIam happy.Iam notgoi
    ngt oletanyone
    rui
    nthat.NotevenAbe.Andy oubet t
    ertell
    Eazi
    thatMoemedi i
    st aki
    nghertocourtforthatboy,
    sheisfull
    ofherself.
    ”
    Tino’
    sphoner
    angt
    henhemov
    edback
    answeri
    ng.
    “
    Yeah?
    ”
    “
    Tlher
    rawhenar
    eyousendi
    ngthemoney
    ?Itold
    y
    ouIhavetogotot
    hesalonanddomyhair
    .”
    “
    Iwasbusy
    .”
    “Nowyouar
    enot
    ,send,
    ify
    oudon’
    twant
    ,just
    sayso.
    ”
    “
    Isai
    dIwi
    l
    lsend.
    ”
    “No,i
    tseemslikeIam forci
    ngy ou, i
    fyoudon’t
    wanttosendthatmoneyj ustsayso.Iwon’ t
    evenquesti
    onit.If
    eell
    ikeIam f orci
    ngy ouin
    thi
    srel
    ati
    onshi
    p.Firsty
    oucheatandnowIhav e
    todealwit
    hthi
    s.May beweshoul djustbreak
    up.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Okwhat
    ?”
    “
    Let
    ’sj
    ustbr
    eakup.
    ”
    “
    Wow!
    ”
    “I
    t’
    snotworki
    ngGor
    ata,
    Ial
    sot
    hinkweshoul
    d
    breakup.
    ”
    “
    Soy
    ouwer
    eusi
    ngme?
    ”
    “Igaveyoumoneyev er
    yti
    me, howi
    sthatusi
    ng
    you?Youar ebor
    ing,
    soIagree.Weshoul
    djust
    breakup.”
    Hehungupandbl
    ockedhernumberthengoti
    n
    hi
    scaranddr
    oveof
    fasitstar
    tedr
    aini
    ng.He
    sl
    oweddownl ooki
    ngatt heschool girl
    ina
    LedumangSeniorSchool uni
    form standing
    underashadethenstoppedt hecarr ol
    li
    ng
    downhiswindow.
    “
    Geti
    n!”
    Shel
    ookedathim,thef
    eari
    nhereyesvi
    sibl
    e.
    “MynameisTino,t
    senaret
    samaye.Ther
    ain
    won’
    tstopnow.”
    Shelookedaroundthenhesit
    antl
    ygotinthecar
    .
    Tinolookedatherwetunif
    orm whil
    eshe
    shiv
    ered,hert
    eethslappi
    ngagainsteachot
    her.
    Heswit
    chedontheheat
    er.“
    Takeof
    fyour
    bl
    azer
    ,it
    ’swet
    .”
    Sheslowl
    ytooki
    toffandputitonherl
    ap.Ti
    no
    reachedf
    ori
    tandthrewitatt
    heback.
    “
    Wher
    edoy
    oust
    ay?
    ”
    “
    Iam goi
    ngt
    oschool
    ,atBr
    oadhur
    st.
    ”
    “
    What
    ’sy
    ourname?
    ”
    “
    Tsot
    lhe.
    ”
    Hechangedr
    out
    esandst
    art
    eddr
    ivi
    ngt
    oher
    school
    .
    “
    Soy
    ouar
    egoi
    ngt
    oent
    ert
    hecl
    asswet
    ?”
    “
    Ther
    eisnot
    hingIcando.
    ”
    Ti
    nosmi l
    edstar
    ingatherbeaut
    if
    ulf
    aceand
    wethai
    r.“Youar
    egoingtocatchacold.
    ”
    Shesmi
    l
    edandl
    ookeddown.
    “Ok,howaboutwedot hi
    s,wegetyouanother
    unif
    ormthenyoucanputi ton,keepthi
    sone
    withme,aft
    erschool,Ipi
    ckyouupandt henyou
    putitonsoyourparentsdon’
    tsuspect
    anythi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    twanty
    ouspendi
    ngy
    ourmoney
    .”
    “
    It
    ’st
    hesame,
    aft
    ert
    hatIwi
    l
    lsel
    li
    t.
    ”
    “
    Iam notsur
    e.”
    “
    Wear
    eget
    ti
    ngy
    ouanot
    heruni
    for
    m.”
    HedrovetoRai
    lPar
    kthenwal
    kedinsi
    det he
    shopwhichsel
    l
    sunif
    ormswit
    hher.Minutes
    l
    atert
    heybothwal
    kedoutwhi
    lesherockedthe
    newunif
    orm wi
    thasmil
    e.
    “
    Iam l
    ate…”
    “
    Iwi
    llt
    akecareoft
    hat.
    ”Wit
    hanumbr el
    laover
    t
    hei
    rheads,
    theywal
    kedtothecarandgoti
    n.
    “
    Howol
    dar
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    17.
    ”
    “
    Whenwi
    l
    lyoube18?
    ”
    “
    31December
    .”
    Hesmi
    l
    edst
    art
    ingt
    hecaranddr
    ivi
    ngof
    f.
    “
    Wow…”

    *
    **

    AtAbe’
    shouse,
    Abesatont
    hebedst
    ari
    ngat
    mel
    atert
    hatdaywhi
    l
    eIf
    oldedmycl
    othes.
    “
    Babe,
    canwet
    alk?
    ”
    “
    Ther
    eisnot
    hingt
    otal
    kabout
    .”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok.
    ”
    Abesighed.“
    Canyoust
    opwhaty
    ouar
    edoi
    ng
    andl
    istentome?"
    Istoppedf ol
    dingt heclot
    hesandl ookedathi m.
    “Iam mov ingoutbecauseIcan’ tkeepdoing
    thi
    s,wor ry
    ingov ersomeonewhocl earl
    ydoesn’t
    care.It’
    sbestifIst ayi
    nmyownhousewhi l
    e
    youst ayinyourownhouse, noonewi ll
    restri
    ct
    youf r
    om any t
    hingordoi ngwhaty ouwant .Ican
    nowaf f
    ordmyr ent .Wewillonl
    ymov ein
    togetheroncewear emarr
    ied.”
    “
    Youcan’tbeser
    ious,
    all
    becauseofone
    mist
    ake.
    ”
    “
    Youcal
    lthatami
    stake?
    ”
    “
    Imessedup,
    Ishoul
    dhav
    ecommuni
    cat
    ed.
    ”
    “Buty
    oudidn’
    t.Yourat
    herl
    etmedi
    eofworr
    y
    andstr
    esstoonlyshowupint
    hemorni
    ng.
    ”
    “
    CanIf
    ixt
    his?
    ”
    “Therei snothi
    ngtof i
    x,IknowIam not
    overreacti
    ng.Yourphonewasst i
    llonwheny ou
    decidedt ogot oFranci
    stown.Youdi dn’
    tbot
    her
    sayingany thi
    ng.Youruncle’sphonewasonor
    anyone’ sphone.Iam notev enangr yatyou,
    I
    am justdisappoint
    ed.Mypoti sbur ni
    ng.
    ”I
    stoodupandwal kedt othekitchen.Myphone
    rangt henIlookedatMoemedi ’snumberand
    i
    gnor ed.

    *
    **

    Abesighedputt
    inghishandoverhi
    sface.Hi
    s
    phonevibr
    atedfrom hi
    spockett
    henhetookit
    out
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hey
    ,di
    dyouar
    ri
    vesaf
    ely
    ?Iwaswor
    ri
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Yeah,
    Idi
    d.”
    Thefemal
    ecall
    erchuckl
    ed.“Iam sorr
    yfor
    ki
    dnappi
    ngyou,i
    twon’thappenagain.
    ”
    “Iam gl
    adthatact
    ual
    l
    yhappened.Nowal
    lmy
    questi
    onsareanswer
    ed.
    ”
    Shegiggl
    ed.“
    Iam gl
    ad,
    sti
    l
    lgoi
    ngaheadwi
    th
    theweddi
    ng?”
    Hechuckl
    ed.“
    Youhav
    est
    art
    edThabi
    l
    e.”
    “
    Sor
    ry,
    Iwasj
    ustaski
    ng.Doy
    our
    eal
    l
    ylov
    eher
    .”
    “
    Iam notanswer
    ingt
    hat
    .”
    “
    Youar
    eweak.
    ”
    “
    Iam hangi
    ngup.
    ”
    “
    Runaway
    ,youar
    egoodatt
    hat
    .”
    Hesmi
    l
    edhangi
    ngupt
    hedel
    etedt
    hecal
    l
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #33

    TinolookedattheLedumangSeni orschool
    gatesearchingforher,tenmi nuteshadalready
    passedandshest i
    ll
    hadn’ tshowedup.He
    sighedrubbinghishandsashi sguil
    tconscious
    weighedheav i
    lyonhi sshoulders.Tsotl
    he
    fi
    nallywalkedout.Tinostartedthecarand
    roll
    eddownhi swindowasshepassedby .
    “
    Let
    ’sgo!
    ”
    Tsot
    lhet
    urnedandl
    ookedathi
    mthenwal
    ked
    r
    oundthecarandgotin.Heeasedt
    hecari
    nto
    t
    heroadcaranddrov
    eof f.
    “
    Hi…”
    Shesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Hi…”
    Ti
    no’sphonerang,
    helookedatt
    hescr
    eenand
    qui
    cklyansweredt
    hecall
    .
    “
    Eazi
    …”
    “
    Hi,
    youf
    orgoty
    ourl
    apt
    op.
    ”
    “
    Icancomepi
    cki
    tup.
    ”
    “
    Ok.Iwi
    l
    lcomei
    nawhi
    l
    e,i
    sAbet
    her
    e?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    lcomei
    nacoupl
    eofmi
    nut
    es.
    ”
    “
    Shar
    p.”
    “
    Arey
    ouok?
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    Iam f
    ine,
    thanks.Forev
    ery
    thi
    ng.
    ”
    Shehungupt
    henhesi
    ghedput
    ti
    nghi
    sphone
    down.
    “Iam goingtocol
    lectmyphonef
    rom my
    brot
    her’shouse.
    ”
    Tsotl
    henoddedashechangedr outes.Awhile
    l
    aterheparkedthecarbythegat etexti
    ngAbe.
    Thegateopenedthenhest eppedoutoft hecar
    andwalkedinsi
    detheyardmeet ingAbebyt he
    door.
    “
    Sur
    eMi
    ster
    …”
    Ti
    nogothi
    slapt
    op.“
    Thanks.
    ”
    “
    Mal
    cwashav
    ingf
    unwi
    thi
    t.
    ”
    Tinolookedathisbr
    other
    .“Wherewereyou?
    UncleCcal l
    edme,hewasi nJwaneng.Iwant
    ed
    totellyoubutt
    henyourphonewasn’tgoi
    ng
    through.Wherewereyou?”
    Abesi
    ghedcl
    osi
    ngt
    hedoor
    .“IsawThabi
    l
    e.”
    “
    And?
    ”
    “
    Shesai
    dher
    apedher
    .”
    Ti
    noshookhi
    shead.“
    Hemusthav
    e,whenI
    wal
    kedin,
    shewascry
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Youshoul
    dhav
    etol
    dme.
    ”
    “
    Iwasst
    il
    lyoung.
    ”
    “ShewasdepressedafterIbrokeupwithher,
    shetri
    edkil
    li
    nghersel
    fmul t
    iplet
    imes.Ican’
    t
    beli
    evethi
    shappenedr i
    ghtundermynose.We
    wereyoung,shewasy oung.Hedestroyedher
    andIam responsi
    blef
    ori t
    .”
    “Youcan’
    tbl
    amey
    our
    sel
    ffort
    hatmonst
    er’
    s
    acti
    ons.
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tthi
    nkIam ev
    ergoi
    ngt
    ofor
    giv
    ehi
    m.”
    “Sowhatnow?What’sgoi
    ngtohappennow
    sinceyouknowthet
    rut
    h.Youlov
    edThabil
    e…I
    t
    tookyou5y ear
    stomoveon.
    ”
    Abeputhishandsonhi sface.“
    Ilov
    eEazi
    ,mor
    e
    thananyt
    hing.Ican’
    tleav
    eherplusshei
    s
    pregnant
    .”
    “
    WhataboutThabi
    l
    e?”
    “Idon’tknow, Imightst il
    ll
    ov eher,Il
    ov edher
    forthel ongesttime, Ican’tdenyf eel
    ing
    somet hingorcar i
    ngabouther .Iam responsi bl
    e
    forwhathappenedt oher ,i
    fitwasn’tforme
    thenshewoul dhav enev ergottenraped.I
    actuallyfeelbadf orhowIbr okeupwi thher,
    shecoul dhav ediedal lbecauseofme.She
    tri
    edexpl ai
    ningbutIdi dn’twantt ohearat hing.
    Andt hemostconf usingpar tisthatshei snot
    evenangr yatme.Shedoesn’ thateme.Iwi sh
    shedi d,may bei twoul dmakemef eelbetterbut
    sheisThabi l
    e.Shei snotupset ,shesai dshe
    hasmov edonf rom that .
    ”
    “
    Youcan’
    thur
    tEaz
    i…”
    “
    Idon’
    twanttoandIwon’
    t.Butmyconsci
    ence
    won’
    tletmebreat
    he.
    ”
    “Eazii
    spregnant,
    shedoesn’
    tdeser
    veyou
    hurti
    ngher,shehasbeennot
    hingbutagood
    womantoyou.Shelovesyousomuch.Isawi
    t
    i
    nherey
    es.Don’thurther
    .”
    “Iwon’t.Iloveher,Imi ghtst
    il
    lloveThabi
    leor
    feelsomet hingwhi chIam notsur ewhati
    tis,
    may bei tmightjustbegui l
    tnotlovebutIl
    ove
    Eazi.Ilovehermor ethanany t
    hing,wi
    thherit
    ’s
    effort
    less.Ican’timaginemyl ifewit
    houther
    andIam notgoi ngt oloseher.That’
    smywi fe
    andnot hingwi l
    lchanget hat.
    ”
    Tinoswal
    l
    owedt
    henst
    eppedback.“
    Wewi
    l
    l
    tal
    k.”
    “
    Shar
    p.”
    Tinowal kedbacktohi scarandsatfora
    momentst ar
    ingatthehouse, heknewEazi was
    goingt ogethurtespecial
    lywithThabi
    lebackin
    thepicture.I
    tsaddenedhi mthathecouldn’
    tdo
    any t
    hingaboutitwithoutgett
    inghimself
    attached.
    Hi
    sphoner
    angashedr
    oveaway
    .
    “
    Yah?
    ”
    “
    Soy
    our
    eal
    l
    ydumpedme?
    ”
    Tinohungupandbl ockedt
    henewnumber
    befor
    elookingatTsotl
    hesuddenl
    ynotsur
    e
    abouther
    .“Whydoy ougotoschool
    evenon
    Sundays?”
    “
    Ihav
    eapr
    oject
    .”
    “
    Isee.Iwi
    l
    ldr
    opy
    ouhome.
    ”
    “
    Ineedt
    ochangef
    ir
    st.
    ”
    “
    Iwashedy
    ouruni
    for
    m.I
    t’
    satt
    heback,
    go
    t
    her
    eandputi
    ton.
    ”
    Tsot
    lhel
    ookedathi
    m moment
    ari
    l
    y.
    “
    Goandchange.
    ”
    “
    Wit
    hyoui
    nthecar
    ?”
    Hechuckled.“
    Iwon’
    tlook,
    Ipr
    omi
    se,
    goand
    change.
    ”
    Shej
    umpedt
    othebackandbeganchangi
    ng
    whi
    l
    ehedr
    oveof
    f.

    *
    **

    Awhil
    elater
    ,Ti
    nost
    oppedt
    hecarahouse
    bef
    oreTsotl
    he’
    s.
    “
    Ok,
    youcango.
    ”
    Shest
    eppedout
    .“Thanky
    ouMr
    .Ti
    no.
    ”
    Ti
    nofr
    owned.“
    Ok,
    ther
    eisnoneedf ory
    out o
    makemefeell
    i
    keapedo.Iam nott
    hatold.
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tfeel
    okaddr
    essi
    ngy
    ou-
    “
    “
    Adresswit
    hmyfirstname,t
    hat’
    showI
    i
    ntr
    oducedmysel
    f.Iam notapedo.
    ”
    Tsotl
    hechuckledthencl
    osedthedoorand
    walkedtowardsherhouse.Hewai
    tedafew
    minutesti
    ll
    shewasi nsi
    dethegat
    eanddrove
    off
    .
    *
    **

    Moemedi dr
    oveinsi
    dehisgat
    eandparkedthe
    carthensteppedoutholdi
    ngacoupleof
    shoppingbagsinhishands.I
    nsi
    dethehouse,
    Binalookedupfrom theTVashewalkedover
    andkissedhercheek.
    “
    Heybabe…”
    “
    Hi,
    wher
    ear
    eyoucomi
    ngf
    rom?
    ”
    “
    Itol
    dyou,
    Ihadwentt
    oGabor
    one.
    ”
    “
    No,
    Ifor
    gott
    oasksoy
    ounev
    ert
    oldme.
    ”
    “
    Iwentt
    oGabs.
    ”
    “Whydi
    dn’tyoutel
    lmesot
    hatwewoul
    dhav
    e
    cometogether
    ?”
    “I
    twasalastmi
    nut
    ethi
    ngplusIthoughtIwoul
    d
    bebackt
    hesameday.Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    From behi
    ndthecushi
    on,
    shet
    ookoutthe
    femalebel
    ongingsi
    ncl
    udi
    ngablacksel
    fi
    est
    ick
    star
    ingathim.
    “
    Whodoest
    hesebel
    ongt
    o?”
    Moemedi
    froz
    est
    ari
    ngatt
    hem.
    “
    Whodot
    heybel
    ongt
    oMoemedi
    ?”
    “
    Wher
    edi
    dyougett
    hem?
    ”
    “
    Don’
    tyoudar
    e!Don’ty
    oudar
    ethi
    nky
    oucanl
    i
    e
    t
    ome,whoisshe?”
    “
    Ther
    eisnoone.
    ”
    “
    SoIam crazy,t
    herei
    sfemaleper
    fumest
    inki
    ng
    i
    nthehouse,Iknowther
    eissomeone,
    whoi s
    i
    t?”
    “
    Youacti
    ngcrazyri
    ghtnow,thosear
    emy
    f
    ri
    end’
    sgir
    lf
    ri
    end’sbel
    ongings.
    ”
    Bi
    nal
    aughedi
    ndi
    sbel
    i
    ef.“
    Youar
    eser
    ious?
    ”
    “
    Whywoul
    dIl
    i
    e?”
    “
    Whatwasshedoi
    ngi
    nyourbedr
    oom?
    ”
    “
    Shewasbat
    hing.Shef
    orgoti
    t,babecomeon.
    ”
    “
    Youarest upid!Youarever
    ystupi
    d!Youcook
    weakli
    es, r
    eal menoutther
    ehaveseri
    ouswel
    l
    t
    houghtlies!Youaresodumpy oudon’tev
    en
    t
    hinkbeforey outal
    k.”
    “
    Youar
    egoi
    ngf
    arnow.
    ”
    “
    Whoi
    sshe?
    ”
    “Youknowwhat
    ,Idon’
    twantt
    hisr
    elat
    ionshi
    p
    anymore.
    ”
    “
    Becauseoft
    hewhor
    eyouar
    echeat
    ingonme
    wi
    th?”
    “
    Becausey
    ouar
    ebor
    ingi
    nbed.
    ”
    Binalaughed.“Haaaiy
    e!Say
    samanwhocan’ t
    makeawomancum!Youar esousel
    essnowI
    seewhyEazi leftyouforar
    ealman.Youare
    uselessandbor i
    ng.”
    Moemedi
    angr
    il
    ysl
    appedheracr
    osst
    hef
    ace
    thatherent i
    refacebur nthotast hepai n
    seethedi n.Angershootupt henshesl apped
    him back.Moemedi slappedherhar dershesaw
    stars.Bi napunchedhi m wi thallherstrength
    thenki ckedhi sballs.Hegr oanedandputhi s
    handsonhert hroatst ranglingher.Binat ri
    ed
    l
    ooseni nghishandsbuthewascompl et el
    y
    blockingherai rway .Shescr atchedhisf acewi t
    h
    hernai ls,Moemedi loosenedhi sgri
    pt henshe
    l
    eanedov erandbi thisni pplethroughhi st-shir
    t.
    “
    Stop!
    ”
    Shesankherteet
    hevenmor
    ebi
    ti
    nghar
    der
    whil
    ehehitherhead.
    “
    Bina!
    ”
    Hepunchedherst omachthenshespithi
    s
    nipple.Shepickedthesel
    fi
    esti
    ckandwhi pped
    him several
    times.Tearsfi
    l
    ledhereyesashe
    pushedherbackwi thsomuchforceshealmost
    fell
    .
    “
    Getoutofmyhouse!
    ”
    Shewalkedoutsi
    deandpickedabri
    ckt
    hen
    wentforthecarwi
    ndowsandstart
    edsmashi
    ng
    them.Moemedi r
    anoutsi
    de.
    “
    Iam cal
    l
    ingt
    hepol
    i
    ce.
    ”
    “Thenwear
    ebothgoingt
    ojail
    .Your
    aisedyour
    handonme,Iwi
    l
    l t
    ell
    them i
    twassel
    fdefense.
    ”
    Herushedov erasshesmashedanother
    wi
    ndow, angri
    lyBinat
    hrewthebr
    ickathi
    m
    l
    andingitr
    ightonhisknee.
    “
    Yimi
    i
    wee!
    ”
    Shepickedahandf ul
    ofsoi
    landspl
    ashediton
    hisf
    acebl i
    ndi
    nghimt henwal
    kedbackinsi
    de
    thehousewher eshecamebackwithaknif
    e
    andslashedhisti
    res.
    “
    Omar
    ete!Af
    terIgoty
    out
    hisj
    ob!
    ”
    “
    Babest
    op…”
    Shet
    hrewt
    hekni
    fedowncr
    ying.“
    Thi
    sist
    he
    thanksIget?Youar egoingt otell
    mewhoi ti
    s
    orelseIam burningthishouset oday.Youare
    taki
    ngmef orafool!Iwasout si
    dewai ti
    ngfor
    youwhi ley
    ouwer ewi t
    hy ourwhor e.Iam not
    Eazi,Icanstandupf ormy sel
    f.”
    Moemediwi
    pedhi seyesandlookedatt
    hecar,
    hewasn’
    tevenhalfwaywithpayi
    ngtheloan.
    Tear
    sfi
    ll
    edhiseyes.
    “
    Your
    uinedmycar
    .”
    “
    It
    ’sdr
    ivi
    ngyoucrazy.Youar
    egoingt
    otel
    lme
    whoyouarecheat
    ingonmewi t
    h.”
    “
    Youar
    edel
    usi
    onal
    .”
    Bina’
    sangerroseasshelookedathim,hehad
    nothi
    ngwhenshemethi m andtodayhewas
    theonecalli
    ngherdel
    usi
    onal,hewaseven
    speakingEngli
    shwit
    hher.Shewalkedoverand
    grabbedhisball
    s.
    “Todayy
    ouar
    egoi
    ngt
    oseedel
    usi
    onal
    ,Whoi
    s
    she?”
    Moemedi
    grunt
    ed.“
    Iwi
    l
    ltel
    lyou…Iwi
    l
    ltel
    lyou.
    ”
    “
    Whoi
    sshe?
    ”
    “
    Thenur
    seatt
    hehospi
    tal
    .”
    Bi
    nal
    etgol
    ooki
    ngathi
    m.“
    Whatam Il
    acki
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Iam pr
    egnant
    .”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou,
    wecanf
    ixt
    his.
    ”

    *
    **

    InAbe’
    ssitt
    ingroom,Il
    ayonthecouchst
    ari
    ng
    attheTV.Abelookedatme.
    “
    Babe…ar
    eweev
    ergoi
    ngt
    otal
    k?”
    “
    Ther
    eisnot
    hingt
    otal
    kaboutAbe.
    ”
    “Iam sorr
    y,ImessedupIknow.Idon’
    thavean
    excuse,Iknowyouwereworri
    edsickaboutme,
    Ishoul
    dhav
    ecommuni
    cat
    edwi
    thy
    ou.Iam
    sorr
    y.”
    “
    Iam goi
    ngt
    osl
    eep.
    ”
    “
    MmagweMal
    c…”
    Iwalkedawayignor i
    nghi m.I
    nthebedroom I
    si
    ghedandgoti nbedwi thmynightdr
    essaf t
    er
    Iswitchedofft
    hel i
    ght.Tearsfi
    ll
    edmyey esasI
    l
    ookedatt hedarkness.Theyrandownf rom the
    cornerofmyey es.Iwipedthem awayand
    si
    ghed.Abewal kedinandcl osedthedoor.He
    gotinbedafterundressingandtri
    edtouching
    me.
    “
    Abe,
    canIsl
    eep?
    ”
    “Mrs.T,
    Iam sor ry.Iam sor
    ryIdidn’
    t
    communi cate,Iam sorr
    ythatyouwer eworri
    ed
    al
    lnight
    .Iam sor ryIdi
    sappoint
    edy ou.Iam
    sor
    rybabe, Idon’twantyousleepingangryat
    me.”
    “
    Abe,
    Iam t
    ir
    ed,
    Iwantt
    osl
    eep.
    ”
    Hepul
    ledmecloserput
    ti
    nghi
    shandinsi
    demy
    ni
    ght
    dresst
    henpull
    edoutmypanty
    .
    “
    Abewhatar
    eyoudoi
    ng?
    ”
    Hewentdownt omyl egst hengentlyl
    ickedme.
    Mybodybet rayedmeandi mmedi atel
    ygav ei
    n.
    Weakening,Icl
    osedmyey esashel i
    ckedand
    suckedmei nthedarknesswhi leImoaned
    softl
    y.Hepushedmyl egsmor eopensl i
    dinghi
    s
    tongueinmypussy .Iclosedmyey espull
    inghi
    s
    headmor eonme.
    “
    Abe….
    ”Mymuscl
    est
    ight
    enedasIspasmed.
    Hegotupandki
    ssedme.“
    Babe…?
    ”
    “
    Mhmm…”
    “Il
    oveyou.Nev
    erdoubtt
    hat
    .Il
    ovey
    ousomuch
    babe.
    ”
    “
    Iam st
    il
    lupset
    .”
    Her
    anhi
    sdi
    ckonmycl
    i
    tthenpushedi
    nsl
    owl
    y.
    “
    Youar
    ewhat
    ?”
    Iopenedmymouthtotal
    kthenheslammed
    deepinmebur
    yinghi
    mselfinsi
    de…
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #34

    Earl
    ymor ni
    ng,
    Ontlamet
    sihel
    dherphonet
    oher
    earstoppi
    nghercarbyt
    hefil
    l
    ingst
    ati
    on.
    “Nonofyouki
    dsl
    oveme,Iam al
    lal
    oneandI
    knowyouwantmetodi
    e.”
    Ontol
    ametsisighed.“Idon’
    tloveyoubecause
    youfai
    ledtobeabet terparentbynameandI
    can’
    twaitti
    ll
    Iact ual
    l
    ydon’tneedy oubecause
    youarethewor stmotherinthewor l
    d.”
    “
    Iam y
    ourmot
    her
    !”
    “Iknow,Iwishyouwer en’
    t.Youar
    eanenti
    re
    poisonousplantandy oukeeppoi
    soni
    ngt
    hose
    aroundyou.Iwillneverbr
    ingmykidst
    oyou
    becauseyouwi l
    lpoisonthem.”
    Otl
    ametsi hungupandl
    ookedatt
    heat
    tendant
    .
    “Hi
    ,ful
    ltank.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Shewai
    tedpat
    ient
    lyashef
    il
    ledhert
    ankup.
    “
    Cashorswi
    ping?
    ”
    “
    Cash.
    ”
    It
    ookoutmypur
    setopayhim butTanhanded
    hi
    m hi
    scar
    d.“
    Iwil
    lsor
    titout
    .”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lbr
    ingt
    hemachi
    ne.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hewal
    kedawayt
    henTanl
    ookedather
    .
    “
    Fancybumpi
    ngi
    ntoy
    ouher
    e.”
    Ont
    lamest
    ichuckl
    ed.“
    Arey
    oust
    alki
    ngme?
    ”
    “Ishouldputthatintoconsi
    der
    ati
    on.Iwoul
    d
    havenev ersuspectedthi
    stobeyour
    professi
    on.”
    Sheshr
    ugged.”
    That
    ’swhyIam st
    ranger
    .”
    Ontlametsisteppedoutt ocheckhertyr
    e
    pressure,
    heruni f
    orm heldti
    ghttoherhipsand
    ass.Theat t
    endantwal kedbackthenTan
    sortedthetransacti
    on.Heslidhisphoneback
    i
    nhi spocketthenst r
    etchedhishandinside
    Ontlametsi
    ’scartakingherphone.Heswi ped
    herscreenandpagedhi mself
    .
    “
    Ihav
    etwoki
    ds.
    ”
    “So?Ihav
    eone.Dinnerl
    ater
    ?Let
    ’ssayar
    ound7?
    Iwil
    lcomeandpickyouup.”
    Ont
    lamet
    sismi
    edashel
    ookedather
    .“Ok.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lyou,
    youst
    ayatt
    hecamp?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hewalkedbacktohiscarandgotin.Wi
    tha
    smil
    eOntlamet
    sigotinhercaranddrov
    eoff
    fi
    xi
    nghercap.

    *
    **

    If
    ini
    shedpr
    epar
    ingTi
    not
    henbr
    ushedi
    shead.
    “Youar
    edonenow,
    theschool
    buswi
    l
    lbeher
    e
    anyt
    ime.
    ”
    Abewalkedi
    nandsmi
    l
    edatbot
    hofus.“
    Hey
    babe,
    champ!”
    “
    Wewer
    escar
    edwhenwecoul
    dn’
    tfi
    ndy
    ou.
    ”
    Abesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Itwi
    l
    lnev
    erhappenagai
    n.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Theschool
    bushoot
    edoutsi
    det
    henMalcran
    outt
    otheopengat
    ewhil
    eIwentaf
    terhi
    m.He
    goti
    ntheschoolbustheni
    tdr
    oveoff
    .Abehel
    d
    mywaistf
    rom behindki
    ssi
    ngmyneck.
    “
    Arey
    ougoi
    ngear
    lyt
    oday
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    ldr
    opy
    ouof
    f.
    ”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    Iwal
    kedbackinsi
    det
    hehouseandr
    eachedf
    or
    myri
    ngingphone.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Hi
    ,thi
    sisAnay
    a,comebyandl
    et’
    sdi
    scuss
    busi
    ness.
    ”
    Myheartski
    pped.“
    Youar
    efundi
    ngmy
    busi
    ness?”
    “
    Justcomeby
    ,Il
    ovemaki
    ngmoney
    .”
    “
    Iagr
    ee,
    Iwi
    l
    lbet
    her
    e.Thanky
    ousomuch.
    ”
    “
    ByeEazi
    .”
    Abel
    ookedatme.“
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “
    Theyar
    efundi
    ngme!Theyf
    undi
    ngme!
    ”
    Abehuggedme.“
    That
    ’smygi
    rl
    .”
    “
    Ihav
    etogot
    her
    e.”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lwai
    tfory
    ou.
    ”
    Iopenedmywar
    drobeandt
    ookoutmy
    bondagedr
    esst
    hatcoul
    dst
    ret
    ch.

    *
    **

    Abewalkedint
    heki
    tchenwherehepacked
    Eazi
    ’
    slunch.Hi
    sphonerangf
    rom hi
    spocket.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Abe,Iam sorryforcal
    l
    ingli
    ket
    his,
    butyou
    f
    orgotyourwatch.Iam seei
    ngi
    tnow.Don’
    t
    t
    hinki
    t’
    sstolen.”
    Hesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Youcankeepi
    tforme.
    ”
    “
    That
    ’sok.Youdi
    dn’
    tanswerme.
    ”
    Hesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Whatdoy
    ouwantThabi
    l
    e?”
    “
    Not
    hing.Justmyf
    airchance.Ideser
    vei
    t.
    ”
    “
    Ihav
    eawi
    fe.
    ”
    “Youhaven’
    tmarri
    edheryet,
    youcan’teven
    admittomethatyouloveher,
    Ican’tbel
    iev
    eyou
    aregett
    ingmarr
    ied,r
    ememberhowweusedt o
    planourweddi
    ng?Ihaven’
    tforgot
    ten.”
    Abel
    aughed.“
    Youar
    ecr
    azy
    .”
    “Iam goingtogety
    ouback.Iwil
    lcomeover
    aroundlunchwithf
    ood.Ihopeshedi
    dn’
    tmake
    youany t
    hing.
    ”
    “
    Thabi
    l
    eweh?
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lbr
    ingev
    ery
    thi
    ng,
    don’
    twor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    egoi
    ngt
    olandmei
    ntr
    oubl
    e.”
    “
    That
    ’notmyi
    ssue.By
    ebabe…”
    ShehungupjustasIwalkedinsi
    detheki
    tchen
    i
    nablackbondagedressthathuggedmybump
    andhi
    pswi
    thheel
    s.
    “
    Let
    ’sgo.
    ”
    Theywal
    kedoutandgotinthecar
    .Abe’sphone
    vi
    brat
    edthenhet
    ookitoutandsli
    ditbackin
    hi
    spocket.
    “
    Myuncl
    ewant
    saf
    ami
    l
    ymeet
    ingl
    ater
    .”
    Inoddedr
    eadi
    ngt
    hemessagef
    rom Moemedi
    .
    “
    Moemedi
    want
    stoseeMal
    c.”
    Abelookedatme.“Weshoul
    dlethimifhe
    wantstofi
    nall
    ystepup.Wecanstar
    twith
    weekendvisi
    ts.
    ”
    “
    Yeah.Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evehel
    i
    edt
    oTasha.
    ”
    “That
    ’showhisty
    pei
    s.Buthei
    snotgoi
    ngt
    o
    datemysist
    er.
    ”
    “
    Theyar
    eal
    readydat
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Notf
    orl
    ong.
    ”
    Awhi
    l
    elat
    er,
    Abepar
    kedt
    hecarandki
    ssedme.
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    Isteppedoutofthecarwi
    thmybagandwalked
    towardstheent
    rance.Myphonev
    ibr
    atedwhil
    eI
    walkedinsi
    de.
    Abe:Youl
    ookbeautif
    ulandincontr
    ol,i
    t’
    s
    act
    uall
    ysexytowatch.Don’
    tdoubtyoursel
    f,
    youdeser
    vethatdealmorethananyone.
    Iblushedputt
    ingmyphonebacki nmyhandbag
    thensmi l
    edattherecept
    ioni
    st.“
    Mor
    ning,
    Ihave
    ameet ingwi
    thMr s.Mokwena.”
    “
    Gor
    ightupl
    i
    kel
    astt
    ime.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Iwentupt
    henwalkedi
    nsi
    deheroff
    iceaf
    ter
    tal
    ki
    ngtoherper
    sonal
    assi
    stant
    .
    Anay
    asmi
    l
    ed.“
    Thatwasf
    ast
    .”
    “
    Nor
    estf
    ort
    hewi
    cked.Goodmor
    ning.
    ”
    “
    Hey
    ,si
    t.
    ”
    Isatdownasshesmi l
    ed.“Il
    ovedthebusiness
    i
    dear i
    ghtfr
    om thestartbutwehadal otof
    otherpeopl
    etoconsiderandy ouwereoneof
    them.Nowy oushouldunder st
    andthatthi
    snot
    afunding,i
    t’
    saninvest
    ment .Yourbusi
    nessis
    goingtobesomet hi
    ngbig,Icanalr
    eadyseei t
    .”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “AndIknowyouhav estart
    edalr
    eady,Il
    ove
    yourdri
    ve,
    thefactthatyoudi
    dn’twai
    tjust
    seati
    ngsaysalot,y
    ouar edri
    venandfocused
    andIli
    kethat
    .”
    “
    Timei
    smoney
    .”
    “Yes,soIwi l
    lbeinv est
    ingasani ndi
    vidual,t
    he
    boarddidn’tagreebecauset heydon’tthinki
    t’s
    viabl
    e,theythi
    nki twill
    bej ustli
    keanydr inkbut
    whatify ouaregoingt obebi glikeCocaCol a?
    Whati fyouaregoi ngtobesomet hi
    ngsobi g
    andinternati
    onal?Idon’ twanttobel eftbehind.
    Iseeyouusef rui
    tsfort
    hedri
    nksandIowna
    hugefarm whichhasevery
    thi
    ngyouneed.I
    thi
    nkwear egoingtocreat
    efir
    e,myhusbandis
    goingtoregr
    etnotseeingwhatIam seei
    ng.So
    Iam putt
    ingami l
    li
    onintoi
    t.
    ”
    “
    OhmyGod!
    ”
    “Yes.whenIstart
    edmybusi ness,Ineeded
    mor eandIwasscar edthinkingtheywon’tfund
    me, theywon’
    tinvesti
    nme.OfcauseIhad
    savedsomemoneybuti twasnotenoughbut
    hereIam.Iam goi ngtobet hatpersonforyou
    becauseIhavewal kedinthoseshoesbef ore
    andIknowhowt heyfeel.Inay ear
    ,youwill
    be
    ontop. ”
    “
    Thanky
    ousomuch,
    youwon’
    tregr
    eti
    t.
    ”
    Anayalaughed.“OfcauseIwon’
    t,
    Iwon’
    tlety
    ou
    makemer egreti
    tlov
    e.Thi
    sisamult
    i-
    mil
    li
    onaireidea.”
    *
    **

    BinalookedatMoemedi ’
    sswoll
    enf aceashe
    putonhi sclothesforwork.Hehadn’tsaid
    anythi
    ngy etandshewonder edjusthowt his
    nursefeltbeinginherhouse.Nowshesawt hat
    alongdistantr el
    ati
    onshi
    pwasjustst r
    aini
    ng,it
    wasst r
    ainingforherandherbaby .
    “
    Ithi
    nkweshoul
    dmov
    eint
    oget
    her
    .”
    Hel
    ookedather
    .“Yeah…”
    “Iam sor
    ryIsmashedyourcarbutyoucan’t
    cheatonmeandt hi
    nkyoucanbeatme.The
    nextti
    mey outr
    yit
    ,Iwil
    lkil
    lyoubecauseIam
    notweak.Youarenotgoingtorai
    sey ourhand
    onme, Icanfi
    ghtf
    ormy sel
    f.”
    Henodded.“Ical
    l
    edaf
    ri
    end.Hei
    scomi
    ngt
    o
    pi
    ckmeup. ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hepickedhisbagandwal kedout.Bi
    na
    watchedhimt hrought
    hewi ndowashelooked
    athiscarwhichwasf l
    atdownandf i
    nal
    ly
    walkedoutthroughthegateandgotinacar.

    *
    **

    Thabi
    leranherl
    ipst
    ickonherl
    ipsstar
    ingat
    her
    selfonthemirr
    or.Shepi
    ckedherhandbag
    andcall
    edherfr
    iendwalki
    ngouttohercar.
    “
    Chomi
    …”
    “
    Heyl
    ove,
    ImetAbe…”
    “
    Youl
    i
    e!”
    “
    Iam t
    ell
    i
    ngy
    ou.Ibumpedi
    ntohi
    m.”
    “
    And?
    ”
    “
    Heknows.It
    oldhi
    m.”
    “
    Ever
    ythi
    ng?
    ”
    “No,j
    ustabit.Idon’
    twanttor
    ushit
    .Hei
    sst
    il
    l
    shocked.It
    hinkIwillwai
    tabi
    t.”
    “
    Didhebel
    i
    evey
    ou?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Youknowhowhei
    s,mymanbat
    hong…”
    Herf
    ri
    endl
    aughed.“
    Backwer
    ethoseday
    s.”
    “
    Hei
    sget
    ti
    ngmar
    ri
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Wow!
    ”
    “YesbutIam get
    ti
    ngmymanbackKi t
    so,t
    hat
    manbelongstome.Al lt
    hoseteenageyear
    swe
    usedtobecrazyforeachother
    .Ilovedhi
    m
    whenIwasy oung,Iwascrazyabouthim.
    ”
    “
    Iknow,
    yourpar
    ent
    sev
    endi
    sownedy
    ou.
    ”
    Thabi
    lelaughed.“
    Don’
    tremindme.Hewasmy
    ever
    ythi
    ng.Iam notl
    ett
    inghim go.
    ”
    “
    Ist
    hegi
    rlbeaut
    if
    ul?
    ”
    “
    Yeah,heshowedmeherpi ct
    ures,
    shei sf
    ine
    j
    ustf
    atandpregnantbutIdon’
    tcare.That
    ’snot
    myi ssue.Sheisgoingtocrybutshewi l
    lbefine.
    I
    t’sahungr ywor l
    dandweal lwanttoeat.Iwil
    l
    notwat chhertakethatmanf r
    om me, kanaAbe
    i
    sj ustthatmany oudream about.If
    eelsorr
    y
    forheralreadybecauseIam notgoing
    any wherewithoutmyman.”
    “
    Yesgi
    rl
    !”
    “Iaskedifhel
    ovedherhecoul
    dn’
    tev
    enanswer
    me.Ikissedhi
    m andyoushoul
    dhaveseenhow
    heranout .
    ”
    “
    Takey
    ourman,
    Iagr
    ee.
    ”
    “
    IgotTasha’
    snumber,Icall
    edherear
    ly
    morni
    ng,shedoesn’
    tli
    kethi
    sEaziwoman.
    ”
    “
    Hernamei
    sEazi
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Whatki
    ndofnamei
    sthat
    ?”
    “
    Idon’
    tcare,
    may bei
    tmeanssheisEazit
    oget
    r
    idofbutsheisagol
    ddi
    gger.Tashasai
    dshe
    tookhersontoAbesothatherai
    seshimthen
    aftert
    hatgotpr
    egnant
    .Sheevenstar
    tedher
    businesswit
    hAbe’
    smoney .
    ”
    “
    Gethi
    m andputheri
    nherpl
    ace.
    ”
    “
    Soon,
    Idon’
    twanttorushi
    tandtur
    nhim of
    f.I
    wi
    ll
    seehowitgoesaf
    terheseesourchi
    l
    d.”
    “
    Ok,
    byechomi
    ,wewi
    l
    ltal
    k.”
    Thabi
    lehungupandsmi
    l
    edal
    oner
    ever
    singout
    ofheryar
    d.

    4MONTHSLATER
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #35
    AtMal colm Ref
    reshers,
    Ilookedatt
    henew
    packagingwithasmi l
    e.
    “
    Ilov
    eit
    .”
    Thepackagedesi
    gnersmi
    led.“Thi
    swast
    ail
    or
    madeforMalcol
    m.It’
    sgoi
    ngt obri
    ngi
    nmore
    cust
    omers.”
    Ihel
    dboththegl
    assandplast
    icbott
    lei
    nmy
    handsandnodded.“
    Iti
    s.I
    t’
    sbeauti
    ful
    .”
    “
    Shoul
    dwer
    uni
    tont
    henewst
    ock?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Ist
    oodupsl
    owl
    yandsmi
    l
    ed.“
    Iappr
    ove.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    oumam.
    ”
    Iwalkedoutoft
    hetinyboar
    droom t
    hensi
    ghed
    goi
    ngt omyoffi
    ce.Oneoftheworker
    sshook
    herheadasIwalkedoutwit
    hmyhandbag.
    “
    Ngngbossl
    ady
    ,whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngher
    e?”
    Ismi
    led.“
    Iwashereforonet
    hing,
    youguy
    s
    don’
    twantmehere.”
    “
    No,
    noti
    nyourcondi
    ti
    on.
    ”
    “
    Iam goi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lhel
    pyou.
    ”
    Sheheldmyhandandhel pedmedownt he
    stai
    rs.Reachi
    ngthelaststai
    r,Il
    eanedback
    agai
    nstthewallbreat
    hingheav i
    l
    y.
    “
    Don’
    tcomebackher
    eti
    l
    lyouhav
    egi
    venbi
    rt
    h.”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Ok.Iam f
    inenow.By
    e.”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Iwal
    kedoutofmypr
    emi
    sesgoi
    ngt
    omycaras
    myphonerang.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Eazi
    ,whenar
    eyougi
    vi
    ngMoemedi
    hisson?
    ”
    Igotinthecar
    .“Tasha,Iam notgoi
    ngt
    o
    discussmysonwi t
    hy ou.
    ”
    “
    Mxm,youar
    eful
    lofyour
    self
    .Moemedii
    s
    t
    aki
    ngy
    outocourt
    ,youaresosel
    fi
    sh.
    ”
    “Lethi
    mt akemet ocourt
    ,Iam r
    eadyfori
    t.Iwil
    l
    notgivehi m mysontil
    lIseet
    hatheis
    responsibleenoughtohavehim ov
    er,
    til
    lthen
    takemet ocourt
    .Thatmanhasn’tpai
    dasi ngl
    e
    dimef orchil
    dsupport.
    ”
    “Howi shesupposedt opaymai ntenancefora
    chil
    dhedoesn’ tknow?Youar esomuchofa
    golddiggert hatyouaretr
    yingbyal lmeansto
    makeMal colm mybr ot
    her’
    schild.Otherwomen
    areoutther ewor ki
    nghardwhilethereare
    womanl ikey ouwhodonot hi
    ngbutsquandera
    man’smoney .Youdon’
    tdeservemybr ot
    her
    andy ouar egoi ngt
    olosehim darli
    .Ihopethat
    chil
    ddies.”
    Ishookmyhead.“
    ByeTasha.
    ”
    Ihungupandsi
    ghedst
    arti
    ngt
    hecar
    .Tasha’
    s
    wordsrangi
    nmyheadthenIt
    ookmyphone
    andcal
    l
    edherback.
    “
    Whatdoy
    ouwant
    ”
    “Thi
    sbetterbet helastti
    mey ouwi shi
    llonmy
    chil
    d,youdon’tknowmeorany thi
    ngaboutme.
    Youchooset obel i
    ev eamanl i
    keMoemedi and
    that
    ’sok,that
    ’sy ourownf ool
    ishnessbutnever
    i
    ncludemychi ldiny ouri
    nsult
    s.”
    Ihungupandputmyphoneont hepassenger
    seatthendrov
    eoff.Minuteslat
    erIparked
    i
    nsidethegateandwalkedi nsi
    dethehouse
    whereMalcwasl y
    ingont hecouchsleepi
    ng.I
    walkedtothebedroom call
    i
    ngAbebuthi s
    phonedidn’
    tgothrough.

    *
    **

    Tashacal
    l
    edMoemediandwai
    tedast
    hephone
    rang,
    hefi
    nal
    l
    yanswer
    ed.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Heybabe,
    Ical
    l
    edEazi
    .It
    hinkweshoul
    dtake
    hertocour
    t.
    ”
    “Idon’thavemoneyf
    orthat.Ihav
    ebeenpayi
    ng
    doubletothebankbecauseIwanttobedone
    withtheloan.
    ”
    “
    Whi
    chIunder
    stand,
    butMal
    cneedsy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Iknowbutr
    ightnowt
    her
    eisnot
    hingIcando.
    ”
    Tashafrownedl
    i
    steni
    ngt
    oul
    ulat
    ionst
    hrough
    thephone.
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “
    Itol
    dyouIam at
    tendi
    ngmycousi
    n’
    sweddi
    ng.
    I
    t’
    stoday
    .”
    “
    Ohy
    eah…Imi
    ssy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lfi
    ndt
    imet
    ocomet
    her
    e.”
    “
    Iwantt
    ovi
    sity
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Butbabedi
    dn’
    tweagr
    eet
    hatnomor
    e
    vi
    sit
    ati
    onsthissi
    de?Yourbr
    othersdon’
    twant
    meany whereneary
    ou,Iam t
    ryi
    ngtowinover
    t
    heirtr
    ust.
    ”
    “
    AndIunder
    standbut
    -“
    “Butnothi
    ng.Ij
    ustwanttowinyouov er,i
    fyou
    comet henitwi
    llmeanIcan’
    trespectthem.I
    wantagoodr el
    ationshi
    pwit
    hmyi n-l
    aws.”
    Tashasmiledhear
    ingmoreul
    ulat
    ions.“
    I
    under
    stand.I
    t’
    sok,Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    Shehungupandsati
    nfr
    ontofherTVwat
    chi
    ng
    herf
    avor
    it
    eshow.

    *
    **

    Moemedi swi
    tchedoffhi
    sphoneandrushed
    overtohi
    snewlyweddedwi f
    easthe
    photogr
    aphersnappedpi
    ctur
    es.
    “
    Beaut
    if
    ulmypeopl
    e!”
    IntheirGermanpr intatt
    ires,theypaused
    kissingandhuggi ngthenf inall
    ymadet hei
    rway
    i
    nsi dethenicelydecoratedwhi tetent
    .Moemedi
    kissedBinar ubbi
    ngherst omach.
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    Shegi
    ggl
    ed.“
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    Bina’
    smot hersmil
    edint hecr owdinherlovel
    y
    dresschatti
    ngwithotherladies.Oneof
    Moemedi ’scousi
    ntookashor tvi
    deooft he
    couplelaughi
    ngtogetherthenpost editon
    facebook.Comment spil
    edi nasher epli
    edto
    mostoft hem whi
    leotherpeopl esharedthe
    post.

    *
    **

    Li
    nawal
    kedoutoft
    hel
    awf
    ir
    m andwal
    ked
    downt hestr
    eetshiel
    dingherselff
    rom thesun
    withherCV.Tearsfil
    ledhereyesasshe
    stoppedwalkingandletthem rundownher
    cheeks.Yetanotherdisappoi
    ntment,shewas
    beginningt
    owonderwhysheev enbothered
    herself
    .Shetookoutherphoneanddi dseveral
    callbackst
    oherauntwhocal l
    edherback.
    “
    Lina…”
    “Idon’tknowwhatt odoany moreAunt y
    ,Iam
    notget t
    inganyjob.Noonei shir
    ing.Iam l
    osing
    hope,Idon’tevenhav emoney ,
    Ionlyhave
    P5.00t ogobackhome.Idon’ tknowhowIam
    goingt opayrentthi
    smont h,Imadeabl under
    thi
    nkingsell
    ingwigswoul dgivememoneyand
    nowal lmymoneyi sgone.
    ”
    “Gobackhome, don’
    tcr y
    ,taket
    hosewigsand
    sel
    lthem atalowprice.Therei
    snothi
    ngy ou
    cando.Startdoi
    ngpiecejobsinpeopl
    e’s
    housesifyouhaveto.”
    “Lonasi
    sbusyenjoyi
    ngthemoneythatbel
    ongs
    tome.Sheisdr
    ivi
    ngTendai’
    scarandgoingfor
    tri
    psinSout
    hAfr
    ica.Sheissl
    eepi
    ngonmy
    bed..
    ”
    “
    Wedon’
    tcr
    yov
    erspi
    l
    tmi
    l
    kLi
    na.
    ”
    “
    Shebet
    ray
    edme.Shesl
    eptwi
    thmyhusband.
    ”
    “Andther
    eisnot
    hingy
    oucando.Youneedt
    o
    accepti
    tandmoveon.”
    “
    Iam t
    hinki
    ngt
    osellmycar.Andthehouset
    oo.
    May
    beIcanstartmyownlawf i
    rm.”
    “
    Thathousei
    sal
    lyouhav
    e,atl
    eastt
    hecar
    .”
    “
    Itwon’
    tbeenough.
    ”
    “Whatdoy ouneedtostartabusiness,renta
    singl
    eoff
    ice,youwill
    getthere.Maybet he
    reasony
    ouar enotgetti
    ngaj obisbecausey ou
    aremeantt oworkforyoursel
    f.Sel
    lthecar-
    “Thecallcutthenshesighedthoughtfull
    y.
    *
    **

    Ginafini
    shedt helegexerci
    seswit
    hher
    personaltr
    ainerinhergarageandwipedt
    he
    sweatoffherf oreheadpanti
    ng.
    “
    Youdi
    dwel
    ltoday
    .”
    “
    Thanks,
    youar
    egoodatwhaty
    oudo.
    ”
    Mykel tookof fhist-
    shi r
    tandwipedoffhis
    sweatlaughi ng.Ginal ookedatmuscledbody
    andwi dechest ,sweatr andownhi schestgoing
    betweenhi sabbesandi nsi
    dehissweatpants,
    shelookedatt heslightdickpr
    intandpressed
    herlegst ogetherlookingaway .
    “Youar
    eagr eatcl
    i
    ent.Unl
    ikey
    ouragemat
    es.
    Youactual
    l
    ylookyounger.
    ”
    “
    Iam j
    ust53.
    ”
    My
    kel
    frowned.“
    Not43?
    ”
    Gi
    nasmi
    l
    ed.“
    53.
    ”
    “
    Shit
    ,Imadeamistakei
    nt hebooks.Youl
    ook
    r
    eal
    lyyoungandbeaut
    if
    ul.Ican’
    tbeli
    eveI
    t
    hought….
    ”
    Hel
    ookedi
    nherey
    esmaki
    ngherl
    aughshy
    ly.
    “
    Ihav
    eason,
    probabl
    yol
    dert
    hany
    ou.
    ”
    “GoodthingIam noty
    ourchi
    l
    d.Letmehel
    pyou
    str
    etchthenIcango.”
    Hewalkedbehindherandhel
    dherwai
    st
    maki
    ngherskinshiver
    .Hebreat
    hedonherneck
    andwhisper
    ed.“Let
    ’sdothel
    egs.
    ”
    Sheslowl
    ybendedandtouchedhershoes.She
    breat
    hedheav
    il
    yfeeli
    nghi
    sdickri
    ghtonher
    buttt
    hensl
    owlystoodupr
    ight.
    “Ihav
    eal
    wayswonder
    edhowi
    tfeel
    stof
    uckan
    oldwoman.
    ”
    Gi
    namov edaway
    .“Iam ol
    denought
    obey
    our
    mother
    .”
    Hest
    eppedov
    er.“
    Whocar
    esmami
    ?”
    “Youaretooy
    oung,
    Iam mar
    ri
    ed.Whatwi
    l
    lmy
    kidssay?
    ”
    “Sweet ,
    noonehast oknowt hen.”Hepulledher
    closerandputhi shandinsi
    dehert rai
    ningtights
    andi nsi
    deherpant i
    esthent ouchedherfat
    pussysl i
    dingovertoherfolds.Withhi
    sf i
    nger s
    hesepar atedthem andtouchedherf l
    aps.
    “
    Fuck!
    ”
    “
    Mykel
    ,youneedt
    ost
    op.
    ”
    “
    Iam notgoi
    ngwit
    houtdi
    ppi
    ngmydi
    cki
    nsi
    de
    y
    ou,stopfi
    ght
    ingt
    his.
    ”
    Herubbedhercl i
    tkissingher.Ginakissedhim
    backr unninghErhandsonhi ssweat ybody.He
    fi
    nall
    ypul l
    eddownhert i
    ghtstoget
    herwi t
    hher
    panti
    esandt ookof fhershoeslett
    ingherstep
    outofhert ight
    s.Hepi ckedherupandputher
    ontopofhercar ’
    sbonnet ,
    wit
    hherl egsonhis
    shoulder s,heburiedhisf acebetweenherpussy .
    Ginacl osedherey esasheat eherpussydoi ng
    foreignthingswi thhistongue.Shegr unted
    feeli
    ngher selfclosetocummi ngthenher ai
    sed
    hisheadandwhi ppedoutdi cksmacki ngher
    pussy .Ginalookedathi shar dvei
    neddi ckashe
    strokedhi mself.Wi t
    hhisey esonherpussy ,he
    gentlypushedi nthatwetpussywhi leGina
    moanedsof tl
    y .My kelr
    aisedherbuttupwi thhi
    s
    handsonherwai stand-#r emoved.
    .
    Gina’
    shear tpoundedasTashacal ledoutfor
    herfrom insidethehousewhi leshest oodon
    thewal lwit
    hMy Kelbehindherl ungedi ndril
    l
    ing
    herwi t
    hdeepf aststrokes.Shepr essedherl i
    ps
    togetherashert oescur led,My kel squeezedher
    breastwhi l
    eshesuf f
    eredanot herst r
    ong
    orgasm slappingt hewal l.Mykel gav eherlow
    gruntinherearast hatpussynar rowedonhi m
    squeezinghim.Unabl etopul lout, hefuckedher
    evendeeperandf rozedeepi nsi deherf il
    i
    ngt hat
    pussy .
    “
    Mama!
    ”
    Mykel
    kissedherneckwhil
    ehisdi
    ckconti
    nued
    pumpi
    nghi scum i
    nsdehert
    henhefi
    nall
    ysli
    d
    out
    .
    “
    Youar
    egoodmami
    …”
    Ginasi
    ghedasherl
    egsv
    ibr
    ated.“
    Youneedt
    o
    go.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hefi
    xedhimselft
    henpi
    ckedhist-
    shi
    rtand
    wal
    kedoutwhil
    esheslowlydr
    essedand
    wal
    kedinsi
    dethehousethr
    oughthegarage.
    “
    Oh,
    mama!
    ”
    Ginal
    ookedatherdaught
    er.“
    Iam goi
    ngt
    o
    shower.Iam donewi
    thmyexerci
    ses.
    ”
    Shewal
    kedawayandl
    ockedhersel
    finsi
    deher
    bedr
    oom f
    eel
    i
    ngherpant
    iessoak.
    *
    **

    Latert
    hatday,Islowlywokeupf rom mysl
    eep
    attheshar
    ppai n.Igotupandf rownedstaring
    atthewetbed.Ilookeddownonmywetdr ess
    asthesharppainstrucky etagain.Shet
    ookher
    phonegrunti
    ngandcal ledAbet houghhis
    phonewasunr eachable.Withasi ghshecalled
    someonewhowasal waysav ai
    lable.
    “
    Eazi
    …”
    Icl
    osedmyeyesatt
    hepai
    nwonder
    ingwhyi
    t
    wastoomuch.
    “
    Eazi
    ,ar
    eyout
    her
    e?”
    “TinoIam inlabor
    ,mywat erbr
    okewhenIwas
    sleeping.Iam goi
    ngtothehospit
    al.Idon’
    thav
    e
    any onetoleaveMalcwith,
    Ithi
    nkAbei ssti
    l
    l
    helpinghisguysatwork.”
    “
    Iam comi
    ng,
    Mal
    cwi
    l
    lcomewi
    thus.Ar
    eyou
    i
    npai
    n?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lbet
    her
    e.Don’
    tdr
    ivey
    our
    sel
    f.
    ”
    TinohungupasIt ookt hebaby’sbagfr
    om the
    wardrobe.Minut
    eslaterherushedinandpi
    cked
    meupwi t
    houtquesti
    oning.Hewentbackfor
    thebaby’sbagwhil
    eMal colm goti
    nattheback.
    Hejumpedi nandtookof f
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #35
    #r
    emov
    ed

    Herubbedhercl
    itki
    ssi
    ngher
    .Gi
    nakissedhim
    backrunni
    ngherhandsonhi
    ssweat
    ybody .He
    fi
    nal l
    ypul l
    eddownhert ightst oget herwi thher
    pant iesandt ookof fhershoesl ettingherst ep
    outofhert ights.Hepi ckedherupandputher
    ont opofhercar ’
    sbonnet ,
    wi thherl egsonhi s
    shoul der s,hebur i
    edhi sf acebet weenherpussy .
    Ginacl osedherey esasheat eherpussydoi ng
    foreignt hingswi thhi stongue.Shegr unted
    feelingher selfcloset ocummi ngt henher aised
    hisheadandwhi ppedoutdi cksmacki ngher
    pussy .Ginal ookedathi shar dv eineddi ckashe
    strokedhi msel f.Wi thhisey esonherpussy ,he
    gent lypushedi nthatwetpussywhi l
    eGi na
    moanedsof tly.My kel r
    aisedherbut tupwi thhis
    handsonherwai standbur i
    edhi msel fdeep
    i
    nsi deherpussyasherf l
    apshuggedhi sdick.
    Het hr usti ntoherwi thdeepst rokesnothol ding
    backwhi leGinamoaned.
    Hehadneversleptwi
    thanol derwomanbut
    f
    uck,t
    hispussydidn’
    tfeelol
    d.Helookedather
    f
    acethrust
    ingi
    ntoher,shelookedincont
    rol
    of
    herself
    ,hewonder edjusthowshewoul dlook
    withhisdickinhermout h.Mykellookedathis
    dickdisappeari
    nginandoutofherpussywhi l
    e
    hedr i
    ll
    edher.Hef uckedherf orami nutes
    grunti
    ngt hensli
    doutandpul l
    edherdown.He
    turnedheraroundmaki nghertoucht hebonnet
    bendingandr ammedi nsideheremmi t
    tinga
    moanf r
    om her.Herpussyt ight
    enedonhi m,
    squeezinghisdickwhi lehecontinuedf ucki
    ng
    her.
    Ginaclosedherey esast hepl
    easur er an
    throughherbody ,shegr easedhi
    sdi ckev en
    mor emoani ng,t
    hey oungboydef inat eyknew
    hiswayar oundapussyandshel ov edj usthow
    keptthrusti
    ngintoher .Wi t
    hherey escl osed
    shemoanedl oudl
    y ,herpussygav eoutsev eral
    shockwav eswhi l
    ei tspasmed.Gi nacl osedher
    eyest i
    ghtl
    ycall
    ingouthi snameshaki ng.
    “
    Mykel
    ….Awuuuuu….
    ”
    Het
    hrusti
    ntoherwetpussyt
    henpul
    l
    edher
    fr
    om thecartothewalllett
    ingherbendsli
    ghtl
    y.
    Hecurv edhi
    sbackthrusti
    ngintoherwith
    powerfulst
    rokes.Acardroveinthenshe
    pausedwonder i
    ngwhoi tcouldbe.Mykel
    conti
    nuedthrusti
    ngi
    ntoherbr eat
    hingheavi
    ly
    .
    Gina’
    shear tpoundedasTashacal ledoutfor
    herfrom insidethehousewhi leshest oodon
    thewal lwit
    hMy Kelbehindherl ungedi ndril
    l
    ing
    herwi t
    hdeepf aststrokes.Shepr essedherl i
    ps
    togetherashert oescur led,My kel squeezedher
    breastwhi l
    eshesuf f
    eredanot herst r
    ong
    orgasm slappingt hewal l.Mykel gav eherlow
    gruntinherearast hatpussynar rowedonhi m
    squeezinghim.Unabl etopul lout, hefuckedher
    evendeeperandf rozedeepi nsi deherf il
    i
    ngt hat
    pussy .
    “
    Mama!
    ”
    Mykel
    kissedherneckwhi
    lehi
    sdi
    ckconti
    nued
    pumpi
    nghi scum i
    nsi
    dehert
    henhef
    inal
    l
    yslid
    out
    .
    “
    Youar
    egoodmami
    …”
    Ginasi
    ghedasherl
    egsv
    ibr
    ated.“
    Youneedt
    o
    go.”
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #36

    Atthehospital
    ,Abewor r
    iedlypacedupand
    down.Het ookouthisphoneandcal l
    edAbe
    again.Hesli
    dhisphonei nhispocketwitha
    si
    ghwonder ingjustwhereAbewaswhenEazi
    neededhimt hemost .Malcolm sadl
    ylooked
    hi
    m.
    “
    Wher
    eismama?
    ”
    “
    Shei
    sget
    ti
    ngt
    hebabyout
    ,shewi
    l
    lbeout
    soon.
    ”
    Malcol
    m smi
    l
    ed.“
    Arewegoi
    ngt
    otaket
    hebaby
    home?”
    “
    Yes.Wear
    egoi
    ngt
    otaket
    hebabyhome.
    ”
    “
    Cal
    ldad,
    Iwantt
    otel
    lhi
    m.”
    “Hi
    sphonei
    soff
    ,wewil
    lcal
    lhi
    m assoonaswe
    gett
    hebaby
    .Let
    ’swai
    t.
    ”
    Ti
    nosatbesideshim withasighst ari
    ngatthe
    wallwonderi
    ngwhatexact l
    ywashappeni ng
    i
    nside.Ever
    ysecondofhi m notknowing
    str
    essedhim.Hisphonev i
    bratedthenhet ookit
    outandlookedatthecall
    backf rom Tsot
    lhe.He
    i
    gnoreditcl
    osinghiseyeswai t
    ing.

    *
    **

    AtAbe’shouse,
    Abesteppedoutoft
    hetaxi
    hol
    dingafewshoppi
    ngbagsandwal ked
    throught heopengat e.KnowingEazi ,shehad
    probablyf orgotcl
    osingit
    .Het riedopeni ngit
    butt hedoorwasl ockedandsoheknocked.He
    wai tedforacoupleofmi nutesbef or
    efishing
    hiskey sfrom thepocketandunl ocki
    ng.He
    wal kedtot hebedroom butnoonewast here.
    Hel ookedatt hewetbadasacol dchil
    lran
    downhi sspine.Hequicklypluggedhi sphone
    ont hechar gerswitchi
    ngitont hencal l
    edher .
    “
    Abe…”
    Abef
    rowned.“
    Tino?
    ”
    “
    ThankGod,
    wher
    ear
    eyou?Eazi
    isi
    nlabor
    .”
    “
    Shei
    sinl
    abor
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Andshecal
    l
    edy
    out
    ocol
    l
    ecther
    ?”
    “
    No,shewant
    edmet ookaf
    terMal
    cbutIt
    ook
    t
    hem t
    othehospi
    tal
    .”
    “
    Iam comi
    ng.
    ”
    Abehungupthengrabbedthecarkeysf
    rom
    thedr
    essingt
    abl
    ebeforewalki
    ngout.Hi
    s
    phonerangashegotinhi
    scar.
    “
    Yah?
    ”
    “Abe,canwet
    alk?Youcan’
    tkeepdeny
    ingy
    our
    son.”
    “Iam notdenyingany t
    hingThabi
    l
    e.ItoldyouI
    wantedaDNAt estdoneandyourefused.For
    allweknowt hatchildmay bemysibl
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Hei
    syour
    s,Iam notl
    yi
    ng.
    ”
    “All
    owmet orunDNAt est
    sandwewi llt
    akeit
    from t
    here.Iam notref
    usi
    ngtosupporther,i
    f
    i
    t’smoneyy ouwantIdon’tmind.ButIam not
    clai
    mingthatchildasmineaslongasIdon’t
    knowf orsure.Call
    mewheny ouarereadyfor
    theDNAt ests.”
    “
    Andwhat
    ?Youwi
    l
    ltel
    lyourwi
    fet
    hen?
    ”
    “
    Keepmywi
    feoutofy
    ourmout
    h.Shei
    smy
    wi
    fef
    orar
    eason.
    ”
    “Whyareyouangry?Youcan’
    tdenywhaty ou
    feel
    Abebyalwaysbeingangryandrudeatme
    butgoaheadbecauseitmakesy oufeel
    bett
    er.
    Maybeifyoumethim,youwillsee.
    ”
    Hesighed.“
    Iwantt
    oknowf
    orsur
    eifhe’
    s
    mine.
    ”
    “Abe,Iam notfight
    ingwit
    hyou.It
    ’sf
    ineYou
    canrunDNAt estsonhim.Whereshoul
    dIbri
    ng
    him?”
    “Notnow,r
    ightnowIam busy
    .Mywi
    fej
    usti
    s
    giv
    ingbi
    rt
    h.”
    “Sheispr
    obabl
    ysti
    l
    linl
    abor,
    comebymy
    house.Onl
    yacoupl
    eofsecondst
    heny
    ouwi
    l
    l
    go.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hegothi
    sphoneandwentt
    ohiscarthendrov
    e
    of
    f.Awhi
    lel
    ater
    ,Thabi
    l
    eopenedthedoorfor
    hi
    m.
    “
    Comei
    n…”
    “
    Wecant
    alkher
    e.”
    “Abe,comeinsi
    de.”Shepul
    ledhi
    mi nsi
    deand
    closedthedoort
    hensmiledstar
    ingathi
    m.
    “
    Whati
    sit
    ?Isheher
    e?”
    Thabi
    leshookherhead.“
    No,
    hestayswit
    hmy
    mother.Iam goi
    ngt
    ogoandcol
    lecthi
    mt hen
    bri
    nghimt oyou.
    ”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    “I
    t’
    sok,youareri
    ghttot
    hinkthischi
    ldisyour
    si
    bli
    ngeventhoughIwasalreadypregnant
    whentheinci
    dentwit
    hyourfatherhappened.
    ”
    “
    Ijustwantt
    obesur
    e.”
    “AndIunder
    stand.NowIdo, t
    hereasonwhyI
    ref
    usedatfi
    rstisbecauseitfel
    tasifyouwer
    e
    sayi
    ngIam tryi
    ngtomakey ourai
    seyour
    fat
    her’
    schil
    d.”Shesmiled.“Buti
    t’
    sok.Idon’
    t
    wantt
    ofi
    ght
    .”
    “
    Met
    oo.
    ”
    “
    Youhav
    ebeenav
    oidi
    ngme.
    ”
    “
    Ihav
    eawi
    fe.
    ”
    Thabil
    esmil
    ed.“So?”Shesteppedcl
    oserand
    touchedhi
    sdickfr
    om hispants.
    “
    Thabi
    l
    e…”
    “Stopfighti
    ngi t
    .”Shekissedhim unzi
    ppinghis
    j
    eanst hent aki
    ngouthi sdick.Hismindtook
    him backt ohowi tusedtobewi t
    hher.Thabil
    e
    slowlywentdownherkneesst roki
    nghisdick,
    hecouldj ustburst.Sheopenedhermout hand
    tookhimi ngi v
    inghim ablowjob.
    Abegroanedfeeli
    ngherwar m moistmout hon
    hi
    m asshewor kedgivi
    nghimt hebestbl owj ob
    whil
    ebreathi
    ngthroughhernose.Mi nutesl ater
    Abeheldherhairt
    hrusti
    ngintoherwhi l
    eshe
    gaggedthenhegruntedhelpl
    esslyreleasinghi s
    l
    oadi
    nhermout
    h.Thabi
    l
    eswal
    l
    owedal
    lofi
    t
    t
    henst
    oodupwi
    thasmile.
    “
    Bye…y
    ouhav
    eawi
    fet
    oputi
    nconf
    inement
    .”
    Abelookedatherconf
    usedt
    henf
    ixedhi
    msel
    f
    andstagger
    edout.

    *
    **

    Tinowalkedi
    nsidewhereIwasandl ookedat
    measIl ayonthebedexhaust
    ed, unabl
    et o
    pushanymore.Hecamebymysi deandhel d
    myhandwi pi
    ngof ft
    hesweatoffmyf orehead
    withhi
    shand.
    “
    Hey…y ouknowy
    ouhav
    ecomeal
    ongwayf
    or
    t
    hisbaby.
    ”
    “
    Iam t
    ir
    ed.
    ”
    “Iknowbuty ouhav
    etouseever
    ybi
    tofthe
    energybecausewearenotwal
    ki
    ngoutofher
    e
    wi
    thoutthi
    sbaby
    .Youcandoi
    t,y
    ouj
    ustneed
    t
    obest r
    ong.”
    “
    Youdon’
    tunder
    stand.
    ”
    “Iam her
    e,Iam goi
    ngtoholdyourhand,
    you
    don’
    thavetowor r
    y.Iam her
    e,i
    fyouwant,I
    swearwithall
    mybei ngIwon’
    tgoanywhere.
    ”
    “
    Ok…”
    Themi dwif
    elookedatme.Mi nut
    eslaterI
    star
    tedgroani
    ng,Tinolookedatmeinpain
    wonderingift
    herewasany thi
    nghecoulddo.I
    squeezedhishandr ai
    singmyheadfrom t
    he
    bedandgi v
    ingthelastpush.
    “
    That
    ’si
    tEazi
    !Onemor
    e!”
    Foll
    owingthemi dwi
    fe’
    sinst
    ructi
    on,Ir
    aisemy
    headfrom thebedgivi
    nganotherpushthenthe
    babyslidout.It
    hrewmyheadbackont hebed
    breat
    hingheav i
    l
    yasmybaby ’scri
    esfi
    ll
    edthe
    room.
    Ti
    nosmil
    edst
    ari
    ngatme.“
    Youdi
    dit
    …thebaby
    i
    sher
    e.”
    Tear
    sfel
    ltot
    hebed.“
    Iwantt
    oseeher
    .”
    Thenursepr
    eparedthebabyandhandedhert
    o
    Ti
    nowhohel dhimforthef
    ir
    stti
    mewi t
    hasmile.
    Shecri
    edevenloudermaki
    ngmechuckl ed
    cr
    yingashehandedherover.
    “
    Shei
    sbeaut
    if
    ul…”
    “
    Likey
    ou.
    ”
    Il
    ookedatTi
    noandsmi
    l
    ed.“
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Heleanedov erandki
    ssedmebr
    ief
    lyasmy
    hear
    tskipped.“Youar
    ealway
    swelcome.
    ”
    “
    Tino…-
    “
    “Iknowyouknowme.Wemetbef
    ore,
    acoupl
    e
    oftimes.
    ”
    “
    Abei
    s-“
    “
    Mybr
    other
    .Iknow.Ial
    soknowt
    hatIl
    ovey
    ou
    andthatIcant
    reatyoumuchbet
    terbuti
    t’
    sok.I
    haveleantt
    oacceptit
    .”
    ThedooropenedandAbewal
    kedi
    n.Hel
    ooked
    atTi
    nowithadeepfrown.
    “
    Igav
    ebi
    rt
    h…”
    Heshi
    ft
    edhi
    seyesandsmil
    edwalki
    ngovert
    o
    me.Ti
    nowal
    kedoutandwentt
    othenursewho
    waswit
    hMal
    c.
    “
    Hi,
    thanksf
    orwat
    chi
    nghi
    m.”
    “No,yout
    hankyouf
    orl
    eav
    ingmewi
    thsucha
    handsomeboy.
    ”
    Ti
    nosmi
    l
    ed.“
    Ok,
    Mal
    c,l
    et’
    sgo.
    ”
    Ti
    nohel
    dhi
    shandandwal
    kedoutwi
    thhi
    m.
    “
    Whataboutmama?
    ”
    “
    Itaki
    ngy out
    oGranny,
    shewillt
    akey
    out
    o
    mamat henyoucanseethebaby.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    *
    **

    Ginasi
    ghedl
    eani
    ngbackwhi
    l
    elooki
    ngather
    daught
    er.
    “Idon’tevenunderstandwhyy ouhateEazi,she
    i
    sy ourbr ot
    her’
    wi f
    e!Youcan’tchangethat.I
    don’tknowwhot aughtyoutohateli
    kethatbut
    i
    twasn’ tme.IloveEazi somuchandnot hing
    youwi ll
    saywillmakemet ur
    nmybackonher .
    Abemar ri
    edherknowi ngshehasachild,he
    l
    ov esthatchil
    d.Stoptryingt
    ocomei nbetween
    them.”
    “
    Eazi
    haspoi
    sonedev
    ery
    oneagai
    nstMoemedi
    .”
    “IfMoemediwasagoodmant henhewoul dn’
    t
    haveaprobl
    em supporti
    nghischil
    d.Theonly
    reasonIam l
    ett
    ingyoubeinthatrel
    ati
    onshipis
    becauseIwantyoutolearnf
    rom yourmistakes
    butnowstoptryi
    ngtopullev
    eryoneinyour
    mi
    stake.
    ”
    “Youwoul
    dnev
    ersi
    dewi
    thme,
    it’
    sal
    way
    s
    Eazi
    .”
    “
    Iwoul
    dnev
    ersi
    dewi
    thnonsense.
    ”
    “
    YetwhenEazi
    star
    teddat
    ingAbe,
    shewasa
    mar
    ri
    edwoman.”
    Tashastoodupandwal kedoutangry
    .Ginaput
    herhandsonherfacethinki
    ngofthesex,she
    hadbeensocarel
    essandnowshecoul dhave
    contr
    actedanydi
    seases.Herdooropenedand
    Tinowalkedi
    nwithMalc.
    “
    Mamai
    sinhospi
    tal
    get
    ti
    ngt
    hebaby
    …”
    Gi
    nal
    ookedatTi
    nohuggi
    ngMal
    col
    m.“
    Isshe?
    ”
    “
    Shegav
    ebi
    rt
    hbef
    oreIl
    eft
    .Toagi
    rl
    .”
    “
    ThankGod,
    Iwi
    l
    lgoandseeher
    .”
    “
    TakeMal
    cwi
    th.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    eisAbe?
    ”
    “
    Justar
    ri
    ved.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    ewashe?
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tknow.Thabi
    l
    eisback.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Yeah,
    hemi
    ghtst
    il
    ll
    oveher
    .”
    “
    No,
    hecan’
    tbewi
    tht
    hatweakgi
    rl
    .”
    “
    He’
    snev
    ert
    her
    eforEazi
    .”
    Gi
    nasi
    ghed.“
    Andy
    ouar
    e?”
    “
    No,
    justanobser
    vat
    ionImade.
    ”
    “
    Youshoul
    dst
    ayawayf
    rom Eazi
    .”
    “IknowandIhavebeenbuti
    fhehur
    tsherI
    don’tt
    hinkIcanst
    ayaway.
    ”
    “
    Eazi
    isyoursist
    erin-
    law,ev
    eni
    fbemessesup,
    y
    ouhavenor i
    ghttoher.”
    “Ihaveever
    yri
    ghtt
    oheri
    fhecan’
    ttr
    eather
    better
    .”
    ‘
    Areyouwi
    l
    li
    ngt
    osacr
    if
    icey
    ourbr
    other
    hoodf
    or
    t
    hat?
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eher
    ,Ican’
    thel
    pthat
    .”
    Tino’
    sphonev
    ibr
    atedthenhetooki
    tout
    answeri
    ngwhi
    lewalki
    ngout.
    “
    Yah?
    ”
    “
    Whatwer
    eyoudoi
    ngwi
    thmywi
    fe?
    ”
    “Whaty oushouldhavebeendoing.Howdoyou
    switchoffyourphoneknowingy ouhavea
    pregnantwifeathome,oratleasttel
    lmama
    thatsheisalone?”
    “
    Ify
    ougoany wherenearher,
    Iam goi
    ngtokil
    l
    y
    ou.That’
    sapr omiseIam wi
    ll
    ingt
    oful
    fi
    ll
    .Eazi
    i
    snotyourresponsi
    bil
    i
    ty.
    ”
    Ti
    nokeptqui
    et.
    “
    Am Icl
    ear
    ?”
    “Idon’
    twantyourwi
    fe,
    Iwasonl
    ytry
    ingtohel
    p
    becauseyouwerenott
    her
    e.MaybeIshoul
    d
    hav
    elef
    therdr
    iveher
    sel
    ftot
    hehospi
    tal
    .”
    Abesighed.“
    Idon’
    twanty
    ouget
    ti
    ngcl
    oset
    o
    her
    .”
    “Shei syourwif
    e.Iknowthat
    ,whyam Iget
    ti
    ng
    closet oheri
    nthefir
    stpl
    ace?Youar
    eseeing
    things.”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    ewel
    come.
    ”
    Ti
    nohungupandgoti
    nhi
    scar
    .

    *
    **

    Tasha’
    sphonerangasshegotinsi
    deherhouse
    thensheanswer
    edherfr
    iend’
    scall
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Gir
    l,wher
    eisMoemedi
    ?”
    “
    Athi
    scousi
    n’
    sweddi
    ng.
    ”
    “Ar
    eyousur
    e?”
    “
    Whatar
    eyousay
    ing?
    ”
    “
    Arey
    ousur
    e?”
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “Hegotmar
    ried.Therei
    sav
    ideoci
    rcul
    ati
    ngon
    soci
    almedi
    a.Hei snowamarri
    edman.”
    “
    Youl
    i
    e!”
    “
    Iswear
    …Ishar
    edt
    hev
    ideoony
    ourt
    imel
    i
    ne.
    ”
    Tashahungupandopenedherf acebook
    shaking.Sheplayedthevideothenlookedat
    Moemedi l
    aughingwithalady.Tearsfi
    ll
    edher
    eyesasshewentf orthecomment sont he
    ori
    ginalpostandr eadthr
    ough.Shecalledhim
    buthisphonewasnowof f.
    .
    .
    .
    For
    giv
    eme,
    Ifel
    lal
    seep.
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfaWi
    fe

    37

    Gi
    nawalkedi
    nsi
    deandl
    ookedatmewi
    tha
    smi
    le.
    “
    Atl
    ast
    …”
    Ismil
    edsi
    tt
    ingupr
    ight
    .Gi
    nawal
    kedov
    erwi
    th
    Malc.
    “
    Mama,
    wher
    eisourbaby
    ?”
    “
    Thedoct
    ort
    ookhi
    m,shei
    scomi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    CanIhol
    dherwhenshecomes?
    ”
    “
    Youwi
    l
    lhol
    dherwhenshe’
    sabi
    tbi
    g.”
    Gi
    nasi
    ghed.“
    What
    ’shername?
    ”
    “
    Lel
    ent
    le.
    ”
    “Beauti
    ful
    …Iam proudofy
    ousweet
    y,gi
    vi
    ng
    bir
    thisnotajoke.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “Sowhat’
    sgoi
    ngtohappen?Isy
    ourmot
    her
    putt
    ingy
    ouinconf
    inement?
    ”
    “No.Shewant
    snot
    hingt
    odowi
    thmeormy
    baby.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lhel
    pyou.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ouma…”
    “
    Youwil
    lmoveinwi
    thmemay befort
    wo
    mont
    hswhil
    eyouheal
    thenIwil
    lbehel
    ping
    wi
    tht
    hebaby.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    eishe?
    ”
    “
    Iam hungr
    y,hewentt
    ogetmef
    ood.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    ewashe?
    ”
    “
    Hewasmaki
    ngdel
    i
    ver
    ies,
    oneoft
    hedr
    iver
    s
    gotsi
    ck.
    ”
    “Oh…Isee.Butheshoul
    dn’
    thav
    elef
    tyoual
    l
    alone.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sf
    inenow.
    ”
    Abewalkedhol
    dingt
    hef
    oodandwal
    kedov
    er.
    “Heychamp…”
    “
    Mamagott
    hebaby
    .”
    “
    Yeah,
    youwantt
    ohol
    dherwhenshecomes?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Abehandedmethefoodandsmil
    ed.“Iwi
    l
    l
    makeyouholdhi
    m.Butsheissmal
    l,y
    ouare
    goi
    ngtohavetobecaref
    ul.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lhol
    dherni
    cel
    y.
    ”
    “
    Shei
    sgoi
    ngt
    ogr
    owl
    i
    key
    ou.
    ”
    Abesmi
    l
    edt
    henki
    ssedme.
    “
    Eat
    …”
    “
    Thanks,
    whywasy
    ourphoneof
    f?”
    “
    Itdi
    edonmywayback.Iam sor r
    yIwasn’ t
    t
    here,
    Iknowhowmuchwepl annedforthis
    moment.Iloveyou,
    Iloveourbaby,Il
    ov eour
    f
    amily
    .Wor dscanneverbeenought othankyou
    f
    ordoingthis.
    ”
    Ilookedinhiseyesandsmi led.“No,thanky ou
    forbeingthebestman, Iknowt hepastf ew
    mont hshavebeenbusybuty oustil
    lmaint ai
    n
    beingagoodman.Il oveandappr eci
    atey ou.
    Thanky ouforl
    ov i
    ngmeandt eachingmehow
    toloveandwhatl oveis.
    ”
    Gui
    ltoverwhel
    medhi m ashelookedather
    swall
    owinghard.“
    Iloveyoutoo.”
    Heki
    ssedher
    .“Il
    ovey
    ousomuch.
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    edt
    hent
    ookmyf
    ood.

    *
    **
    Lonaslookedatt
    hemanandwi f
    elooki
    ngather
    car.Theysmil
    edstar
    ingather
    .
    “
    Howmuchi
    sitgoi
    ngf
    or?
    ”
    “
    45K.
    ”
    “
    45Ki
    sal
    ot.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’st
    woy
    ear
    sol
    d,st
    il
    li
    ngoodcondi
    ti
    on.
    ”
    “
    Iknowbuti
    t’
    sal
    ot.May
    be30K.
    ”
    Li
    nasmil
    ed.“Thi
    sisnotj
    ustanycar,t
    hisi
    s
    wort
    h150k,t
    hecarhasnoscratch,
    it’
    ssti
    l
    l
    goodasnew.It
    ’snev
    erbeenusedthatmuch.
    40K.
    ”
    Thewomanl
    ookedatherhusband.“
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Ok?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Li
    nasmi
    l
    ed.“
    Greatdoi
    ngbusi
    nesswi
    thy
    ou.
    ”
    Li
    nat
    ookoutherphoneandcal
    l
    edanumber
    wi
    thapoundi
    ngheart
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Yes,
    ist
    hepl
    acest
    il
    lav
    ail
    abl
    e?”
    “
    Yesmam.
    ”
    “Iam t
    akingi
    t,t
    hanky
    ou.Iwi
    l
    lbr
    ingt
    he
    deposi
    t.”
    “
    Okmam.
    ”
    Withahugesmile,sheputherphonebackin
    herhandbagandturnedbacktothecoupl
    e.

    *
    **

    Tashacal
    l
    edMoemediagai
    ncr
    ying.Hi
    sphone
    rangt
    henheanswer
    ed.
    “Soyouwentandgotmarri
    edbehindmyback?
    Aft
    erever
    ythi
    ngIhavedonefory
    ou? ”
    “
    Youarespeaki
    ngt
    oMr
    s.Moka,
    howcanIhel
    p
    y
    ou?”
    Tashat
    ookadeepbr
    eat
    h.“
    Didy
    ouknowhe
    hasagi
    rlf
    ri
    end?
    ”
    “No,Iknewt herewassomeonebutIknowi t
    ended, Iwouldappreci
    ateitifyoustayedaway
    fr
    om myhusbandbecauseIdon’ tsuebutIwill
    beatyousohar dyouwi l
    ll
    oseal l
    yourteet
    h.I
    knowy ouar etheladywiththecar,Moemedi i
    s
    myhusbandandnowIhav eev er
    yri
    ghttohim
    moret hanev er.Iam waiti
    ngforyoutocausea
    sceneandIam goi ngtofi
    xy ou.Waitand
    watch.”
    “
    Cany
    oul
    etmespeakt
    ohi
    m?”
    “
    Youar
    enott
    alki
    ngt
    omyhusband.
    ”
    “Ihavebeentr
    yingbeingnicebutitseemsl i
    ke
    youthinkyouhaveitall
    .Youarestil
    l goi
    ngto
    crybecauseIam notgoinganywher e.Youare
    mar r
    iedtohi
    m, fi
    ne,Iwil
    lbetheotherwoman.
    Youar egoi
    ngtocr yti
    l
    lyoustartcry
    ingblood.I
    am goingtohavehim, wearegoingt oshar
    e
    him.Hei sourmanatt heendoftheday .You
    willbethatwifewhostayshomepoppi ng
    babiesleftr
    ightandcenterandIwil
    lbethat
    womanwhoi sworki
    ngmaki ngali
    vi
    ngf or
    my sel
    f.BeMi keTysonallyouwantbutIcan
    sendy outojail
    .Bye,MrsMoka.”
    Shehungupandwi pedawayhert ears.The
    painfel
    tsodeedshejustcouldn’
    tbeli
    evehe
    hadgottenmarri
    edri
    ghtunderhernose.He
    probabl
    ydidbecauseherbrother
    swer e
    standi
    nginthewayallbecauseofEazi.Her
    eyesshrunkwit
    hangerthenshewal kedout
    withhercarkey
    s.

    *
    **

    Ontl
    ametsiputherf
    eetonthedashboardwhil
    e
    TandroveheadedSouth.Sheleanedov
    erand
    changedthesongsmiledli
    steningt
    oBrick&
    Lace.
    “
    Eazi
    lov
    est
    hissong.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    eagr
    eatsi
    ster
    .”
    Ont
    lasmil
    ed.“
    Shei
    smyonl
    ysi
    ster
    .It
    ’sonl
    yus
    t
    wo,Ihav
    enooneelset
    obegr
    eatto.
    ”
    “Mefori
    nst
    ance,
    butyouarerej
    ect
    ingme.Iam
    goi
    ngtomeetsomeoneelse.
    ”
    Ont
    lal
    ookedathi
    m.“
    Idon’
    twantt
    ogethur
    t.
    ”
    “
    Nnammakeagor
    ata.
    ”
    Ontl
    alaughed.“Let
    ’swai
    tti
    l
    lmysi
    sterseesy
    ou.
    Ican’
    twaittoseethebaby.
    ”
    Tanlaughedwhi
    l
    eshesangalong,
    herf
    eetup
    whil
    ethewindbl
    ewherhai
    r.

    *
    **

    Att
    hehospi
    tal
    ,thenur
    sewal
    kedi
    nbutwi
    thout
    t
    hebabyandl
    ookedatme.
    “
    Thedoct
    ori
    sonhi
    sway
    .”
    “Wher
    eismybaby
    ?Myhusbandi
    scomi
    ng
    backj
    ustnow.
    ”
    “
    Thedoct
    ori
    sonhi
    sway
    .”
    Igotdownthebedandl
    ookedatherj
    ustast
    he
    doctorwal
    kedi
    n.
    “
    Mam,
    Iam Dr
    .Lesol
    e,y
    oucansi
    t.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    eismybaby
    ?”
    “
    Shei
    sther
    e.Si
    t.
    ”
    Isl
    owl
    ysatdownandl
    ookedathi
    m.
    “
    Yourbabyhasacondi
    ti
    on,
    abi
    rt
    hdef
    ect
    .”
    “
    Whatki
    ndofbi
    rt
    hdef
    ect
    ?”
    “Shehaswhatwecallhear
    tdefect
    .Wearesti
    l
    l
    try
    ingt
    oworkonwhatwecandobutr i
    ghtnow
    sheisinacr
    it
    ical
    condit
    ionandwehaveputher
    onmachinestohelpusdealwi
    ththe
    si
    tuat
    ion.
    ..
    ”
    Ishookmyhead.“
    Shewasf
    inewhenIhel
    d
    her.
    ”
    "That
    ’swhyt
    heydidn’
    tletyouhol
    dherforlong.
    Iknowthi
    sisshocki
    ngbutwear eworki
    nghar d
    tocomeupwithasol ut
    ionandsaveherli
    fe.
    ”
    Tear
    sfi
    ll
    edmyey esthenIl
    aughed.“
    Shewas
    fi
    newhenIhel
    dher,shewasok.Shewasfi
    ne,
    whatar
    eyoutal
    ki
    ngabout ?
    ”
    “
    Iknownomot
    herwant
    s-“
    “Mydaughterwasfi
    ne!Shewasi nmyarmsand
    shewascrying.Whatar
    ey ousayi
    ng?She
    wasn'
    tstr
    ugglingt
    obreathethen!
    ”
    “
    Mam-
    “
    “
    Takemet
    omybaby
    !”
    Thedoct
    orl
    ookedatt
    henur
    seandnodded.
    “
    Ok,
    wecango.
    ”
    Igotoffthebedthenwalkedwitht
    hem to
    wheremybabywas, hert
    inybodyconnect
    edt
    o
    machines.Ishookmyheadcr yi
    ng.
    “
    Howdidthi
    shappen?Shewasf
    ine.Isawher
    ,I
    t
    ouchedher
    .Shewasfi
    ne.”
    “
    Shemayhav
    elookedf
    inet
    oyou.
    ”
    Tearsr
    oll
    eddownmycheeks.“Shewasf i
    ne.I
    sawher,shewasfi
    ne.Shewas….”Iputmy
    handsovermyfacecry
    ing.“
    Shewasf i
    ne…I
    sawher.
    ”
    “
    Wearegoi
    ngt
    oputoural
    li
    ntomaki
    ngsur
    e
    y
    ougohomewit
    hher.
    ”
    “
    Ican’
    tgowithouther,
    Iam notgoi
    ngwi
    thout
    mybaby.Shewasf i
    ne…”
    Ibrokedowncryi
    ng,t
    hedoctorsadl
    ylookedat
    mewonder i
    nghowmanyt i
    meshehadhear d
    thatcr
    ythenhuggedme.
    “
    Eazi
    ,youar
    egoi
    ngt
    ohav
    etobest
    rong.
    Lelent
    leneedsy oustrongnotbr eaki
    ngdown.I
    am adoctorbutIbel i
    ev einGod,Ihav eseen
    mor eworsesi t
    uati
    onsandt r
    ustme, people
    haveconcur r
    edbecauset heyhadfai
    t h,you
    havetobeli
    ev ethatyouar egoingtowal kout
    withthi
    schildinyourhands.Ther eisasur gery
    wecanper form andIjustneedt oexpl ai
    nitto
    thebaby’
    sf atherandy ou.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hesteppedbackandwi pedawaymyt ears.“
    No
    cry
    ingfornow,ri
    ghtnowwear eatwarandwe
    needtobef i
    ght
    ingtosaveli
    fenotcry
    ing.You
    can’
    tcryforsomeonewhoi sal
    ive.Nomor e
    cry
    ing.
    ”

    *
    **

    Tashapar
    kedhercaratt
    hehospit
    alparki
    nglot
    andmarchedi
    nsi
    deangri
    ly.Shebr
    ief
    lyspoketo
    therecept
    ionistthenmadeherwaytowhere
    Eaziwasbr eathi
    ngheavi
    ly
    .Shewalkedi
    njust
    asthenursehel pedmeont hebed.
    “
    Youmustbehappy
    .”
    Thenur
    sel
    ookedatTashat
    henatme.
    “Tashawhatdoyouwant
    ?Yourbr
    otherwi
    l
    lbe
    hereanyt
    imesoon.
    ”
    “
    Whyareyoupoi
    soni
    ngmyf
    ami
    l
    yagai
    nst
    Moemedi
    ?”
    “
    Iam poi
    soni
    ngany
    one.
    ”
    “Youare,t
    odayhemar
    ri
    edanotherwoman
    becausenoonewaswil
    li
    ngtoacceptour
    rel
    ati
    onshi
    p.”
    Isi
    ghed.‘
    TashaIdon’thaveti
    meforthis,
    my
    babyisfi
    ghti
    ngforherli
    fe,
    Ihaveenoughstr
    ess
    al
    ready,
    pleasel
    eave.”
    Tashalaughed.“
    Oh,
    soyourbabyisfi
    ght
    ingfor
    herl
    if
    e?Yourkarmawil
    lbethatbabydyi
    ngfor
    dest
    roy
    ingmyr
    elat
    ionshi
    p.”
    “
    Whatdi
    dyouj
    ustsay
    ?”
    “Ihopethatbabydi
    es,maybetheny
    ouwil
    l
    knowhowi tfeel
    stolosesomeonewheny
    ou
    real
    lyl
    ovethem.”
    Itookadeepbreatht
    ryi
    ngtocont
    rolmy
    emotionsbutt
    earsst
    il
    lfel
    l
    .Thenurseshook
    herhead.
    “Ihavenev ermetanev il
    womanl i
    key ouinmy
    entir
    eli
    fe,awomanwhowi shesdeat hupon
    anotherwoman’ schil
    d.Idon’tknowy oubut
    nowIbel i
    ev ethatevilspir
    it
    scomei nhuman
    form.Howdoy ousleepatni ght
    ,ifthatchi
    ld
    dies,wi
    llyoubehappy ?That’sacr eati
    onfrom
    God!Youar esoev i
    l,y
    ourownl i
    fewon’ tpr
    osper
    becausey ouar eangel ofevi
    lness.”
    Tashachuckl
    edstari
    ngatthenurse.“
    Ift
    hat
    chi
    ldi
    smeantt odiethenshewil
    ldieandno
    wordscanstopit
    .”
    Shet
    urnedandwal
    kedout
    .Thenur
    sehugged
    measIcri
    ed.
    “Don’tl
    ist
    entoher
    ,thatbabyisgoi
    ngtobefi
    ne.
    Lelentl
    eisgoi
    ngtomakei tandyouar
    egoingto
    gohomewi t
    hher.
    ”

    *
    **

    Out
    side,
    Tashagoti
    nhercardi
    ali
    nganumber
    .
    “
    Heybabes!
    ”
    Shesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Thabi
    l
    e,guesswhat
    ?”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Thisgol
    ddiggergav
    ebir
    thandnowthebaby
    won’
    tsur
    viv
    e.Herkarmaispr
    ett
    yst
    rong.
    ”
    Thabil
    elaughed.“
    Mxm,Iwonderwhatshe
    thoughtshewasdoingf
    all
    i
    ngpregnant
    .”
    “
    Whyar
    eyoudel
    ayi
    ng,
    IthoughtbynowAbe
    woul
    dbey
    our
    s…”
    “
    Idon’
    twantt
    orushi
    tbutdon’
    twor
    ry.Iam on
    t
    opofit
    .”
    “
    Okby
    elov
    e.”
    “
    Bye…”
    Tashast
    art
    edhercaranddr
    oveof
    f.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOFAWi
    fe

    #38

    Abewal
    kedi
    nmyr
    oom hol
    dingami
    l
    kshake.
    “Wher
    eisshe?Idr
    oppedof
    fmamaandMal
    c
    home.
    ”
    Tear
    sfi
    ll
    edmyey esasIlookedathim.“The
    doct
    orsaidshehashear
    tdefect
    ,theyputher
    onmachines.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?Butshewasf
    ine.
    ”
    Ishookmyhead.“Thedoctorsai
    dhewant
    sto
    discusst
    reat
    mentprocedur
    ewi t
    hus.
    ”
    Abehuggedme.“
    Not
    hingi
    sgoi
    ngt
    ohappen.
    ”
    “Iam sacred.Idon’tknowwhatIhav edoneto
    deservethis,maybei t
    ’sGodpuni shingme, I
    shoul
    dhav eletmymot herhav ethatmoney.I
    shoul
    dn’thav eletmyuncl esdeci
    de, shemay
    havebeent hewor stpar entbutshegav ebi
    rth
    tome.Ishoul dhav erespect edher.”
    “
    Babecomeon…”
    “Godispunishingme.Ican’
    twalkoutwi t
    hout
    mydaught erAbe…Iam notwalkingoutwi t
    hout
    my9mont hs.Ineedtoapol
    ogizetoev er
    yoneI
    wronged.Ican’twal
    kawaywi t
    hast i
    llchil
    d
    Abe.”
    Hehuggedme.“Nooneiswal
    kingawaywi
    tha
    st
    il
    lchi
    l
    d.Not
    hingisgoi
    ngtohappen.
    ”

    *
    **

    GinagaveMal col
    m hispl
    ateoff
    oodasher
    phonerang,shereachedfori
    tandanswer
    ed
    withasigh.
    “
    Yes?
    ”
    “
    Hi,
    canwet
    alk?
    ”
    “TakuIhavenothingtosaytoyou.Youand
    havenoy oungkidstodiscuss.
    ”
    “Iwantustotal
    kaboutourfamily
    .Wecan’ t
    keepgoingl
    ikethi
    s.Abepaidbri
    def orhi
    s
    gir
    lf
    ri
    endandIhadt ohearaboutit
    .YesImight
    havemessedupbutIam st i
    ll
    thei
    rfather
    .”
    “
    Maybei
    fyoubehavedlikeafat
    hert
    heywoul
    d
    i
    ncl
    udey
    ouinthei
    rplans.Abeisagr
    ownman,
    soonTendai
    wil
    lbeoutandthosepeopl
    ecan
    makethei
    rowndeci
    sions.
    .”
    “
    Gina…-
    “
    “
    Andwhyareyousobot
    her
    ed?Becausehi
    s
    wi
    fei
    sst
    il
    lthesamewomanyouhated.
    ”
    “
    Idi
    dn’that
    eher,
    Ijustwant
    edhi
    mtogof
    ora
    l
    esscompli
    cat
    edman. ”
    “
    Ihav
    etogo.Wewi
    l
    lmeetatcour
    t.
    ”
    Shehungupt henl ookedatMy kel
    ’snumberf or
    awhi l
    e,shewoul dn’
    tcall
    him andl ook
    desperateinhi seyes,shesighed, sheshouldn’
    t
    havesleptwi t
    hhi mt obeginwi thhim.Hewas
    j
    ustasmal lboy ,ali
    tt
    leol
    dert hanhersecond
    born.Sheputherhandsonherf aceregrett
    ably
    .
    Shehadnowt urnedtosleepingwi thkids,
    she
    couldonlyimagi newhatherki dscoul dthi
    nkof
    her.Shefinall
    yt appedMy kel’
    snumberand
    l
    ist
    enedasi trang.
    “
    Mami
    …”
    Shetookadeepbreathli
    steni
    ngtothat
    seducti
    vedeepvoi
    ce.“Weneedt otal
    k.What
    happenedshoul
    dhav enothappened.Iam t
    oo
    oldforyou,
    youarel
    ikemyson. ”
    “
    Idon’
    tfuckmypar
    ent
    smami
    .”
    “
    Mykel
    …-“
    “Keet
    akoo,(Iam comi
    ngt here,
    )Iwanty
    out
    o
    saywhat
    everiti
    stomyf ace.”
    “
    Ngng,youcan’
    tcomet
    omyhouse.Iam wi
    th
    mygr
    andson.
    ”
    “
    Thenl
    et’
    smeetl
    ater
    .Let
    ’shav
    edi
    nner
    .”
    “Mykel
    ,Iam oldenought
    obey
    our
    grandmother
    .”
    “
    Ginaweh,
    cany
    oust
    op?
    ”
    “
    Thi
    siswr
    ong.
    ”
    “Iwanttoseey outoni
    ght
    ,eit
    herwemeetata
    rest
    aurantorsomet hi
    ngorIcometoyour
    houseandi fIdoIam goi
    ngtofuckyousohar
    d
    youwon’tbefeel
    i
    ngthatf
    atpussy
    .Nextt
    ime
    youwil
    ltal
    ktome, y
    ouwil
    lknowwhattosay
    ,
    whichi
    sit?”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lcomet
    other
    est
    aur
    ant
    .”
    “
    Goodgi
    rl
    .Wast
    her
    eany
    thi
    ngel
    se?
    ”
    “
    Ngng.
    .”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Hehungupthenputherphonedownwor r
    iedl
    y.
    Shewassureshewassinki
    nghersel
    fdeeperi
    n
    muddywaterandshewonderedhowshewas
    goi
    ngtogethersel
    fout
    .

    *
    **

    Lat
    erthatdayMoemedist
    oodbehi
    ndt
    hehouse
    di
    ali
    ngTasha.Shepi
    cked.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o.”
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Soy
    ougotmar
    ri
    edbehi
    ndmyback?
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    WhatwasIlacki
    ng?Yousai
    dshewantedyou,
    y
    ounevert
    oldmey ouwer
    einarel
    ati
    onshi
    p.”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    Shestar
    tedcry
    ing.“
    Ilov
    eyou,
    howcoul
    dyoudo
    thi
    stome? ”
    “
    Sheispr
    egnant
    ,Icoul
    dn’
    tleav
    eher
    ,she
    want
    edtogetmarr
    ied.
    ”
    “
    Whatdi
    dyoumar
    ryherwi
    th?Wi
    thmymoney
    ?”
    “
    Tasha-
    “
    “
    Youmarri
    edherwi
    ththemoneyIgaveyouso
    t
    hatwecanst
    artabusi
    nesst
    ogether
    ?”
    “Iwi
    llr
    etur
    nit
    .Iwasputi
    nacorner.Andeither
    waywithyouIwasn’
    tsur
    e,anydayyoucan
    chooseyourf
    amil
    yovermeandnott hatI
    woul
    dblamethem becausedef
    ini
    tel
    yIam t
    he
    badguyi
    nthei
    reyes.”
    “
    Myf
    ami
    l
    ydoesn’
    tmat
    ter
    .”
    “
    Theywill
    neveral
    l
    owustobe.Yourbot
    her
    s
    t
    hreat
    enedtoendmyj
    ob.Iam onl
    yhuman.”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Binai
    s-“
    “
    Idon’
    tcar
    eaboutBi
    na,
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Tasha-
    “
    “
    Iam comingthere,wewil
    lstaytogether,al
    l
    t
    hreeofus,Iam notgoi
    ngany whereandIwant
    t
    hatmoney.Weneedt ostartthatbusiness.
    ”

    *
    **

    Tsotl
    hedishedforhersi
    bli
    ngsaftercoming
    backfrom school
    thensatoutsi
    deholdingher
    notebook.Hermotherwal
    kedi
    nthey ar
    dwitha
    bundleoffi
    rewoodontopofherheadthenput
    i
    tdown.Tsot l
    hestoodupandsmil
    ed.
    “
    Didy
    ouf
    indt
    hej
    ob?
    ”
    “
    Yes,butIdi
    dn’
    tgetpai
    dtoday.Hesaidhe
    woul
    dpaymet omorrow.Iwi
    ll
    buyelectr
    ici
    ty
    t
    hen.
    ”
    “
    Ther
    eisnomai
    zemeal
    .”
    Tsotl
    he’smotheropenedherbagandtookouta
    smallcont
    ainerofmaizemeal.“
    Igott
    hisfr
    om
    work.Cookforyoursel
    fandthem.”
    “Ial
    readygav
    ethem t
    hef
    oodIgotf
    rom
    school.
    ”
    “
    Weren’
    tyousayi
    ngt
    heyl
    aughaty
    ouwheny
    ou
    t
    akethef
    ood.”
    “Idon’tcar
    eanymore,mysibl
    i
    ngsneedt oeat
    .
    Nexty earwhenIgotoUB,Iwil
    ltakecar
    eof
    everyone.”
    Hermot
    hersi
    ghedsi
    tt
    ingdownont
    hev
    eranda
    t
    hencal
    l
    edTsotl
    he’
    sfather
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Orapel
    eng,
    yousai
    dyouwoul
    dhav
    esentt
    he
    moneybynow.
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    thav
    emoney
    .”
    “
    Buty
    ouwor
    kforsuchabi
    gcompany
    .”
    “
    So?Mywi
    femoni
    tor
    sthatmoney
    .”
    “
    Yourki
    dsneedt
    oeat
    !”
    “
    Itol
    dyout
    oabor
    tandy
    our
    efused.Idon’
    thav
    e
    money.
    ”
    HehungupthenTsot
    lhet
    ookt
    hef
    ir
    ewood.
    “
    Whydoy ouevenbot
    her?
    ”
    “
    Becausehei
    syourf
    ather
    .”
    “
    Notany
    mor
    e.Hedoesn’
    twantus.
    ”
    “Youneedf
    ood, y
    ouneedtoeat,
    yoursi
    bli
    ngs
    needtoeat
    ,theyneedschool
    uni
    for
    m…Idon’t
    hav
    emoney
    .Iwor
    ksohar
    dbutIdon’
    tgetpai
    d.”
    “I
    twil
    lworkout.Iam goi
    ngtobesomeonebi
    g
    andIwil
    ltakecareofever
    yone.
    ”
    Hermot herst
    oodupandwalkedinsi
    deher
    house.Tsotl
    hethought
    ful
    l
    ythoughtaboutTi
    no
    thendidacallbackwit
    hhert
    inyphone.
    Minutesl
    ater,
    hecal
    l
    edherback.Tsot
    lhe
    walkedtothegat
    eanswer
    ing.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi,
    it’
    sTsot
    lhe.
    ”
    “
    Iknow,
    Isav
    edy
    ournumber
    .”
    “
    CanIseey
    ou?
    ”
    “
    Now?
    ”
    “
    Yespl
    ease.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iam comi
    ng.
    ”
    Hehungupt
    henshewalkedbacktothehouse
    wher
    ehermotherhadl
    i
    ghtedt
    heirl
    astcandl
    e.
    “Mama, Iam goi
    ngt
    otakemynov
    elf
    rom
    Vanessa.”
    “
    It
    ’sl
    ate.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lbebackj
    ustnow.
    ”
    “
    Becar
    eful
    .”
    “Iwi
    ll
    haveheroldersist
    erescortmeback,
    maybeIwil
    lreadachapt erortwoatherhouse,
    Idon’
    twantt
    of i
    nishthelastcandl
    ewehav e.
    ”
    “Ok.Tel
    lhermothert
    hanky
    ouf
    ort
    hef
    oodshe
    gaveuslastt
    ime.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Tsohleputonhershoesthenwalkedoutofthe
    yard.Shewait
    eddownt heroadthenf
    inal
    lyTino
    droveby.Shejumpedinandlookedathim.
    “
    Hi…”
    Ti
    nol
    ookedather
    .“Hey
    ,what
    ’swr
    ong?
    ”
    “
    Let
    ’sgot
    oyourhouse.
    ”
    “
    Forwhat
    ?”
    “
    Please…”
    ConfusedTinodrovebacktoherhousethen
    walkedinwithher.Tsotl
    hel
    ookedaroundand
    si
    ghedst ar
    ingathim.“Youhaveabeauti
    ful
    house.”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    “IneedmoneybutIam wi
    l
    li
    ngt
    odoany
    thi
    ngt
    o
    getthatmoney
    .”
    “
    Whatdoy
    oumean?
    ”
    Shetookof
    fherdressremai
    ningwit
    hher
    pant
    ieswhi
    leherperkybr
    eastst
    aredri
    ghtback
    athi
    m.
    “
    Ineedmoney,myf amil
    yneedst
    hatmoney
    ,
    youcandowhateveryouwantwi
    thmeandpay
    meforit
    .Iam avi
    rgin.
    ”
    “
    Tsot
    lhe…-
    “
    “
    Please.
    ”
    Ti
    no’ddooropenedandTino’
    sexwalkedin.She
    fr
    ozestar
    ingatTinot
    henthenakedgir
    l.She
    swal
    lowedhardthenatt
    ackednakedTsotl
    he.
    Tinopul
    ledherf
    rom Tsot
    lhewhi
    l
    eshe
    screamed.
    “
    Youar
    enowf
    ucki
    ngwi
    thki
    ds?
    ”
    “
    Stopi
    t!
    ”
    “
    Fucky
    ou!Youar
    esoweak.
    ”
    “
    Getoutofmyhouse.
    ”
    “Iam notgoingany
    where.Youthinkyouar eall
    thatdumpingme.Iam call
    ingt
    hepol ice,
    this
    gir
    llooksbelow18,Iam r
    eport
    ingy oufor
    defi
    lement.Youmustthi
    nkIam st upi
    d.”
    Tinosnat
    chedthephonef
    rom herandsl
    apped
    herhardacr
    ossthesl
    ap.
    “Youaregoingfar,
    don’tmakemeawoman
    beaterbecauseIam notone.
    ”
    Tear
    sfi
    l
    ledherey
    esasshel
    ookedathi
    m.“
    I
    l
    ovey
    ou,
    whycan’
    tyouseet
    hat
    ?”
    “
    YouandIbr
    okeup,
    leav
    emyhouse.
    ”
    “
    Iwantt
    ofi
    xthi
    ngs.Pl
    ease…”
    Ti
    nol
    ookedatTsot
    lhewhowasdr
    essi
    ng.
    “
    Getout
    .”
    Theexgirl
    fr
    iendlookedathi
    mf orawhi
    l
    eand
    walkedout
    .Tinothrewherphonedownthen
    tur
    nedbackt oTsotl
    he.
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Shepausedandl
    ookedathi
    m.“
    What
    ?”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    ldoi
    t.ButIhav
    eacondi
    ti
    onf
    ir
    st…”
    Tsot
    lhel
    ookedathi
    m wi
    thapoundi
    nghear
    t.
    “
    Whati
    sit
    ?”
    “
    Iwanty
    out
    o….

    *
    **
    Meanwhil
    eoutsi
    de,theext ookouthersmal
    l
    phonewit
    htheothersim cardandcall
    edthe
    pol
    ice.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?Iwoul
    dli
    ket
    orepor
    tadef
    il
    ementcase.
    ”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #39

    Ti
    nosatdown.“
    Dressupf
    ir
    st.
    ”
    Tsot
    lhef
    ini
    sheddr
    essi
    ngt
    hensatdown.
    “
    Howmanyt
    imesar
    eyougoi
    ngt
    odot
    hisf
    or?
    ”
    “
    Mysi
    bli
    ngsneedt
    ogot
    oschool
    ,theyneedt
    o
    eat
    .”
    Ti
    nosi
    ghed.“
    Whatdoesy
    ourmot
    herdo?
    ”
    “
    Piecej
    obs.What
    evercomesherway
    .”
    “
    Yourf
    ather
    ?”
    “
    Hegotr
    e-mar
    ri
    ed.Hewon’
    tsuppor
    tus.
    ”
    “Iwill
    givey out hemoneybutIwon’ tsleepwi t
    h
    yout i
    lly
    ouar elegal.Mybr otheri
    snj ailfora
    messysi tuationlikethisandIdon’twantt ogo
    j
    ailforsuch.Youar eachi ld,youshoul dbe
    focusingonschool notthi
    nkingofsl eepingwith
    men.Iunder standci r
    cumst ancespushusi nto
    peoplewear enotsomet imesbutt hatshoul dn’
    t
    bey ourli
    fe.”
    Tsot
    lhel
    ookeddowncr
    ying.“
    Iam desper
    ate.
    ”
    “Iknowbuty ouwillmeetsomeonewhowi l
    luse
    youandl eaveyou.Youarealmostdonewith
    yourform 5.Youarewr i
    ti
    ngyourexamssoon.”
    Tinotookouthiswal l
    etandcountedacoupl
    eof
    not
    est
    hengav
    ethem t
    oher
    .
    “
    Wil
    lthi
    sbeenough?
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Let
    ’sgo.
    ”
    Tsotl
    hestoodupandwalkedoutwithhi
    m.They
    gotinhi
    scarthenhedr
    ov eherbacktoher
    house.

    *
    **

    Atthehospi t
    al,l
    atert
    hatnight,
    Abewat chedhi
    s
    daught erconnectedtomachi nesashi sguil
    t
    tort
    uredhi m.Heputhi shandsonhi sface
    bli
    nkingawayhi stears.Heknewand
    underst oodthatherchancesofmaki ngitwere
    soslim.HeknewEazi woul
    dbehur tmor ethan
    anything, hecouldalr
    eadyseeherf ear.He
    closedhi sey esi
    nat t
    emptt opraybutthen
    rememberedwhatasi nnerhewas.Helooked
    athi
    sdaughteronelastti
    meandwentbackt o
    theroom.Hisphonerangalongwaythenhe
    answered.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o.”
    “Hey,
    it’
    sme.Iam sorryforwhat
    ’shappening,
    Tashatoldmebutatleastyouhaven’
    tinvested
    muchintothebaby.
    ”
    “
    Ihav
    einvest
    edaloti
    ntoherbecauseIfel
    li
    n
    l
    ovewit
    hherevenbef
    oreshewasbor n.
    .”
    Thabi
    l
    esighed.“
    Iam col
    l
    ect
    ingourson
    tomor
    row.”
    “
    Mywif
    eneedsmemoret
    hanev
    er,
    Iwi
    l
    ltal
    kto
    y
    ouwhenIgett
    ime.
    ”
    “
    Abesoy
    ouar
    edeny
    ingy
    ourbaby
    ?”
    “Iam notdeny
    ingany
    thingbutIam goi
    ngt
    o
    i
    nv olv
    emywi f
    eint
    othisbefor
    eIcando
    any t
    hing.
    ”
    “
    Iunder
    stand,
    it’
    sok,
    dowhaty
    ouf
    eel
    isr
    ight
    .”
    “Ist
    ill
    don’
    tunder
    standwhyy
    ounev
    ersai
    d
    anythi
    ng.
    ”
    “Idi
    dn’twantany thingtodowithyourf ami
    ly
    andnowi tlooksli
    keIam beggingy outosee
    thi
    schild.Ishouldhav enevertol
    dy ouabout
    him.Iam t urni
    ngintosomet hi
    ngelse,Iam
    alr
    eadyhat ingony ourwif
    ebutIdon’ teven
    knowher .It hi
    nkIshouldstepback.Ilookli
    ke
    thevi
    ll
    ainnow. ”
    “
    Ijustneededt
    imet
    oprocessi
    t.Youcoul
    dn’
    t
    j
    ustdropabombshel
    lonmeandexpectmet o
    j
    ump. ”
    “Iunderst
    andbutt hi
    swhol et hi
    ngistur
    ningme
    i
    ntosomet hi
    ngel se.Youdon’ thavetomeet
    him oranything.Ithinkweshoul dbothmov eon
    withourli
    v es.Iam goingt odot hesamej ust
    l
    ikey ouhav edone.Lov ingyouf eel
    swrong
    becausey ouar enotev enmi neanymoret olove
    andIkeepwi shi
    ngbadont hewomanwhonow
    ownsy ourheart
    .Ishoul
    dacceptlossandmov
    e
    on,Idon’twanttofi
    ght.
    ..Il
    ovey
    ousomuchbut
    Idon’twanttofi
    ght.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lseehi
    m.”
    “
    Abe…”
    “
    Hei
    smyson.Iwi
    l
    lseehi
    m.”
    “Iwi
    llt
    alktomymot
    herandcol
    l
    ecther
    .Iwi
    l
    lgo
    earl
    ymor ni
    ng.
    ”
    “
    That
    ’sok.
    ”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Hehungupandwal
    kedi
    nsi
    deherr
    oom.

    *
    **

    Il
    ookedathi
    m ashewal
    kedi
    n.
    “
    Issheok?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Youneedt
    osl
    eepnow.
    ”
    “Whatifsomet
    hinghappenst
    oherwhi
    l
    eIam
    sl
    eeping?”
    “Nothi
    ngi
    sgoi
    ngt
    ohappen.Youneedt
    o
    sleep.
    ”
    Hehel
    dmyhandandki
    ssedme.“
    Tomor
    row
    youar
    egoi
    ngt
    obesoexhaust
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lbef
    ine.
    ”
    Hehel
    dmyhandsandki
    ssedmeagai
    n.“
    Ther
    e
    i
    ssomethi
    ngIhav
    etot
    elly
    ou?
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “Remembert
    hatexofmi
    newhosl
    eptwi
    th
    Tino?
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    shesl
    eptwi
    thy
    ourf
    atherr
    ight
    ?”
    “Yes.Her.Isawherandshesai
    dshewasr
    aped
    backthen.”
    “
    Rapedbywho?Yourf
    ather
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Whydi
    dn’
    tsher
    epor
    t?”
    “Shewasscar
    edpl
    us,
    myf
    atherhadt
    hreat
    ened
    her.
    ”
    “
    Yout
    alked?
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    whenIsawher
    .”
    “
    When?
    ”
    “
    Mont
    hsback.
    ”
    “
    Andy
    ounev
    ert
    oldmeany
    thi
    ng,
    why
    ?”
    “Idi
    dn’twanttostr
    essyou.Shesay
    swehavea
    chil
    dtogether
    .Ihaven’
    tmetthechi
    ldy
    et.
    ”
    “
    Doy
    ouwanther
    ?”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “Whywon’tyouanswermyquestion,
    doy ou
    wanther?Ifso,
    tel
    lme.Wecandr opthewhole
    thi
    ng.It
    oldyou,i
    fnotint
    erest
    edanymore,y
    ou
    candropus.Iwil
    ll
    eave.”
    “What’
    sthatsupposedtomean?Whydoy ou
    alwayssaythis?Whydon’
    tyouhavefait
    hinme?
    Ialwayshavet obegyout
    otrustme.I
    t’s
    exhausti
    ng.Ibrokeupwit
    hheragesback,why
    wouldIwantherwheny ouaremywi f
    e?”
    “
    Iam j
    ustsay
    ingsot
    haty
    oudon’tfeel
    theneed
    t
    obewithmeormysonev eni
    fyoudon’twant
    t
    o.”
    “Youknowwhat ?Iam tiredoft his.Ihav ebeen
    try
    ingtobeunder standingbecausey ouhav e
    beenhur tbeforebutIst il
    lcan’tenj oyy ou
    withouthav i
    ngt ofeelIam bei ngpuni shed.I
    tri
    edtoshowy ouIl ovey ouandIwoul dtreat
    your i
    ghtbutther eisalway sthatt hing.You
    don’thavef ai
    thinthisrelati
    onshi p, youar e
    quicktotalkaboutl eavi
    ng.Mal colmi smyson
    toobuty oustil
    l r
    efertohi m asy oursony etyou
    tol
    dhi mt ocallmedad.Whydi dy oudot hat?
    Wasi tforusbecausewewer emov i
    ngf orwar d
    ory ouwer edoingmeaf avor?”
    “
    Abe…”
    “Dowhaty ouwant .Ifyoufeel Idon’twantyou
    anymore,j
    ustl eave.Aft
    erev erythingandyet
    youdon’thav efai
    thinthisrelati
    onship,may be
    weshouldj ustcanceleverything.Goodt hi
    ng
    wehaven’tgonet ot hecommi ssioner
    ’soff
    ice.I
    expect
    edt histohappen.Iam goi nghome.”
    “
    WhataboutLel
    ent
    le?
    ”
    “Unli
    keyou,Ihavefai
    ththatnothingwi ll
    happen
    tomydaught erandIdon’tconstantlythinkshe
    i
    sgoi ngtowalkoutdead.Unlikey ouIhav efai
    th
    thatmydaught eri
    sgoingtobef ineandal lthi
    s
    onedaywi l
    ljustbehi
    storythatIwi l
    llookback
    at.Bye.
    ”
    Iswal
    l
    owedwatchinghi
    m wal
    kout
    .Tearsfi
    ll
    ed
    myeyesthenr
    oll
    eddownmycheeks.Il
    ooked
    atmyri
    ngthencover
    edmyfacecr
    ying.

    *
    **
    Abegotinhi
    scaranddr ovet ohishousebut
    al
    ongwayheswi tchedroutes.Minuteslat
    erhe
    parkedhi
    scarbesideshersandst eppedout .
    Heknockedonthedoort henmi nuteslat
    er,she
    openedheri
    nherni ght
    dressonly.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    CanIcomei
    n?”
    “
    Yes,
    ofcause.
    ”
    Hewalkedinthenshecl
    osedandl
    ockedthe
    door
    .Inhersi
    tti
    ngroom,Thabi
    l
    esatbesi
    dehim
    andsmil
    edlookingdown.
    “Ican’
    tbeli
    eveyouar
    ehere,
    ony ourfreewi
    ll
    .
    Forthefi
    rstti
    meIhavenotf
    orcedy outocome
    here.”
    Abechuckl
    ed.“
    Youar
    ecr
    azy
    .”
    “
    Maybe,Iam happyyouar
    eher
    e.Idon’
    tknow
    whybutIam happy.
    ”
    “Idon’tt
    hinkEaziandwil
    lworkout
    ,nott
    hatI
    don’tloveher,
    Iloveher
    .Ilov
    ehersomuchI
    can’texplai
    nit
    .”
    “
    But
    ?”
    “Idon’tthinkshel ovesme.Iwasj ustthe
    ri
    ghtful guyforherwhenshewasatherl owest.
    Ididn’tletherleaveherexwi ll
    i
    nglyt henafter
    thatInev ergav ehert imet oheal becauseI
    l
    ov edher .Idon’tthinkwear ereadyf or
    mar r
    iage.Shedoesn’ ttrustme, doesn’thave
    fai
    thinourr el
    ationshi p.Itconstantlyfeel
    slikeI
    am alonebecauseshei sal waysqui cktotalk
    aboutl eavingandl ettinggo.Howi sthatafter
    almostay earlaterl eav i
    ngcomeseasyt oher ?
    ”
    “Ormaybeit
    ’snott
    hatshedoesn’
    tlov
    eyoubut
    onlyt
    hatsheishol
    dingback.
    ”
    “Whateveri
    tis,Ihav
    epr ovedmyselfmoret
    han
    once,ev
    enaf termonths,Iam st
    il
    lchasi
    ngaf
    ter
    her.
    ”
    “Iam sor
    ry.Iknowhowt hatf
    eel
    s.Wheny
    ouar
    e
    alwaysdoingthechasi
    ng.”
    “
    Iam sor
    ryf
    orcomi
    ngwi
    thmybur
    denst
    oyou.
    ”
    Shesmi l
    ed.“Idon’tmind,Iam happyt oseeyou
    here.IloveyousomuchIenj oyy ourpresence,
    evenwheny ouar eangryIwouldst i
    llwantyou
    tocome.Eazi doesn’tknowhowl uckyshei s.
    Youar eonei nami l
    l
    ion.Iwil
    ldoany t
    hingto
    havey ouback. ”Tearsfil
    l
    edherey es.“NowI
    havetoacceptt hattheyhavetakeny ou.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    est
    il
    lbeaut
    if
    ul,
    didIt
    ell
    yout
    hat
    ?”
    Shesmi
    l
    ed.“
    No.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    est
    il
    lbeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    “
    Thanks,
    doy
    ouwantany
    thi
    ngt
    odr
    ink?
    ”
    Abelookedatherl i
    psthenleanedoverand
    ki
    ssedher.Thabileputherhandsonhisbiceps
    ki
    ssinghim back.Hishandfoundit’
    swayunder
    herdressandtouchedherbar eski
    n.Hekissed
    herev
    enhardersl
    idi
    nghisfi
    nger
    sbet
    weenher
    fol
    dsandt
    ouchingherpussy.
    “
    Fuck…”
    Hest oppedki ssingherandl ayont hecouch
    withherl egsopent henl ookedathersmoot h
    shav edpussyandl eanedov ert okissit
    .Thabi l
    e
    slowlycl osedherey esasheki ssedherasi fhe
    waski ssi ngherl i
    ps, shemov edherwai stabi t
    thenher aisedhisheadandt ookof fherdress.
    Hel eanedov erandki ssedherf ul
    lfir
    m breast.
    Thabi l
    emoanedashesuckedherweakpoi nts.
    Hesqueezedherbr eastt henpickedherupand
    tookhert othebedr oom wher ehel ayheront he
    bedt akingof fhiscl othesandgotbet weenher
    l
    egs.Abest rokedhi sdi ckstaringinherey es
    thengent lypressedatherent r
    anceand-
    #remov ed.

    *
    **
    Atthehospital
    ,thef ol
    l
    owi ngmor ni
    ngItyped
    Abeal ongmessageknowi nghewoul dseei t
    themomenthewokeup.Hehadbeenr i
    ght,it
    l
    ookedl i
    keIdidn’thavefaithinther el
    ati
    onship
    andIcouldunder standhisf r
    ustrati
    on.Hislast
    seenonwhat sappmademesi gh, i
    twasbef ore
    Igavebirt
    h.ThedooropenedandOnt lametsi
    walkedin.Shesmi l
    edhol dingahugebox.
    “
    Mommy
    !”
    Ismi
    l
    edasshehuggedme.“
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Wher
    eisshe?
    ”
    “
    Shei
    snotf
    eel
    i
    ngwel
    l
    .”
    “
    What
    ’swr
    ong?
    ”
    “
    Shehashear
    tdef
    ect
    .”
    “
    Shewi
    l
    lmakei
    t.
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    Iam happyt
    oseey
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Iam happyt
    oseey
    out
    oo.Wher
    eisAbe?
    ”
    “
    Angr
    y.”
    “
    Whathappened?
    ”
    Inarratedthewhol estor
    yt ohert henshe
    sighed.“Youar egoingtoruinagoodt hingEazi,
    thatexofhi swillt
    akeadv antageoft hatifshe
    hasn’t.Therearewomanoutt herewhowi l
    lbe
    waiti
    ngf oryout omessupsot hattheycan
    stepinandt rustme, t
    heywi l
    lst epin.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    ehi
    m somuch,
    het
    hinksIdon’
    tlov
    ehi
    m.”
    “Becausey
    oudon’
    tputmuchefforti
    ntothe
    rel
    ati
    onshi
    p.Whowoul
    dwantt obewith
    someonewhoalwaystal
    kaboutleav
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Iwasj
    ustsay
    ingt
    omaket
    hingseasyf
    orhi
    m.”
    “
    Sothathecanleave?Howar eyougoingto
    f
    eelwhenheactuall
    yleaves?Wil
    lyoubehappy
    t
    hen?Whygivehim anopt i
    ontol
    eav ei
    fyou
    wantt
    hisr
    elat
    ionshi
    pt owork?Arelati
    onshi
    pis
    atwowayt hi
    ng,heshouldn’tbetheonlyone
    tr
    yingtomakeitwork.It
    ’sti
    ring.Nextt
    hingy
    ou
    arecryi
    ngbecausehe’sfoundsomeonewho
    actual
    l
    yappreci
    ateshim.”
    “
    Ilov
    ehi
    m,Idon’
    twantt
    olosehi
    m.”
    “Thef i
    ghtforthatrelati
    onship.I fyouaregoing
    tobeweakt henhei sgoingtol eavey ouand
    replaceyou.Hewi l
    lloveanotherwomanand
    youwi l
    lkil
    lyourself.Heisthef irstmant o
    actuall
    ylovey ouli
    ket hi
    s,hei snotper f
    ectbut
    heismor et hanenough, whatmor edoy ouwant?
    Idon’tunderstandy ouanymor e.Het ell
    syou
    aboutanexandy out al
    kaboutl eavi
    ng.
    What everhappensf rom hereit’sy ourfaul
    t,you
    havenoonet oblamebuty oursel f.
    ”
    Thedooropenedagai
    nandt
    hedoct
    orwal
    ked
    i
    nwiththenurse.
    “
    Mor
    ningEazi
    …”
    “
    Mor
    ning,
    howi
    sshe?Myhusbandi
    sreadyf
    or
    anyt
    reat
    ment
    .”
    “
    Wher
    eishe?
    ”
    “
    Hewenthome.I
    sev
    ery
    thi
    ngok.
    ”
    “
    Whoi
    sthi
    s?”
    “
    Mysi
    ster
    .”
    “Ok…”Hesighedthensadlyl
    ookedatme.
    “Unfor
    tunatel
    yLel
    entl
    edidn’
    tmakeit
    ,shegav
    e
    i
    near l
    ymor ni
    ngbecauseshewastooweak.I
    am real
    lysorr
    yforyourl
    oss.
    ”
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe
    #39
    #r
    emov
    ed

    Abelookedatherli
    psthenleanedov
    erand
    ki
    ssedher.Thabi
    leputherhandsonhisbi
    ceps
    kissi
    nghim back.Hishandfoundit’
    swayunder
    herdressandtouchedherbar eski
    n.Hekissed
    herevenhardersli
    dinghisf
    ingersbetweenher
    foldsandtouchi
    ngherpussy .
    “
    Fuck…”
    Hest oppedki ssingherandl ayont hecouch
    withherl egsopent henl ookedathersmoot h
    shav edpussyandl eanedov ert okissit.Thabi l
    e
    slowlycl osedherey esasheki ssedherasi fhe
    waski ssi ngherl i
    ps, shemov edherwai stabi t
    thenher aisedhisheadandt ookof fherdr ess.
    Hel eanedov erandki ssedherf ullf
    ir
    m br east.
    Thabi l
    emoanedashesuckedherweakpoi nts.
    Hesqueezedherbr eastt henpi ckedherupand
    tookhert othebedr oom wher ehel ayheront he
    bedt akingof fhiscl othesandgotbet weenher
    l
    egs.Abest rokedhi sdi ckstaringi nherey es
    thengent lypressedatherent ranceandsl i
    din
    herpussy .Het hrusti nt
    oherf eelingherwar mt h
    aroundhi sdickthenhel ookedatherf acewhi l
    e
    sher
    anherhandsonhershoul
    ders.Gui
    l
    tsank
    i
    nasEazi
    ’sfacef
    lashedi
    nhismind.
    Heknewt hi
    scouldendhi smarriagei
    fsheev
    er
    foundoutandknowingThabile,shewould
    probabl
    ytel
    lhert
    hef i
    rstchanceshegot.
    Thabilelookedathi m not ici
    nghewasnot
    concent r
    ating,probablylet t
    ingguilteatherup
    thenshemov edherwai stf rom below, meeti
    ng
    halfwaywhi leper f
    ormingsev eralkegel
    exercises.Hisdi ckhardenedi nsideher ,he
    poundedmor eintoherjustt ryi
    ngt ofini
    shup
    andgetof fher.Thabilemoanedsof tl
    ythenhe
    l
    ookedatherwonder i
    ngi fthiswashowt hei
    r
    sexhadal way sbeen,ordinar y,
    therewas
    nothingspeci altoit,
    wi t
    hEazi i
    talway sfelt
    diff
    erent.
    Hecl osedhisey
    esspeedingupwit
    hhisthrusts
    tr
    yingtocum assoonaspossibl
    e,Thabi
    l
    e
    moanedl oudlyf
    eel
    inghi
    sdickhi
    tallt
    herightf
    ul
    corners.Shewonderedi
    fherememberedhow
    thei
    rsexusedt obe,heprobabl ydi
    d.Hemov ed
    evenfasterwithasli
    ghtgruntthenclosedhis
    eyesimagi ni
    ngitwasEazihewaswi th.Her
    pussywasal way swetandtightandshewoul d
    ti
    ghtenev enmor ewhensher eached.Hisbal
    ls
    ti
    ngledthenhegav eheronel astst
    roke
    rel
    easingintoher.
    Thabilemoaned,shewassocl osebutthent his
    wasAbe, hewouldgiveheranor gasm i
    fhef elt
    l
    ikeitandnowshecoul dseethesexhadbeen
    all
    forhim pour
    ingouthisst
    ressonher .She
    mov edherwaistcl
    oserashisdickspurtoutt he
    l
    astf ewdropl
    etsofhi
    scum thenhegotof fher
    panting.
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #40
    Il
    aughedst
    ari
    ngatt
    hedoct
    or.
    “Ni
    ceone, Iwanttoseeher .Theny oushoul
    d
    expl
    ainthetreatmentproceduretomyhusband
    andI.Wear ereadyforanything.Youwereri
    ght,
    Ineedtobest rongandIneedt ost
    artthi
    nki
    ng
    l
    ikeamot her.So,what’
    sthepl an?”
    Thedoctorl
    ookedatmet henmysist
    er.“
    Eazi,
    Lelent
    legav
    ei near
    lymorni
    ng,unf
    ort
    unat
    ely
    therewasnothingwecando.Shewastoo
    weak.”
    Il
    ookedatOnt
    lat
    henbackatt
    hedoct
    or.“
    I
    wanttoseemybaby
    ,whatar
    eyousayi
    ng?”
    Hesighed.“
    Hercondit
    ionwasprett
    yseri
    ous,
    putt
    ingheronthemachineshel
    pedusprolong
    herl
    ifeabit
    ,wethoughtshewouldbestr
    ong
    enoughtoundergoasurger
    yatthever
    yleast…
    sheisgone.”
    Tear
    sfi
    l
    ledmyey
    esasmyhear
    tpounded.“
    You
    sai
    dshewoul
    dmakei
    t…”
    “
    Iknowbutshegav
    ein.
    ”
    Ishookmyhead.“
    No…”
    Thenursewalkedov
    erandheldmyhand.“Eazi
    ,
    shepassedon.Wehavealer
    tedyourhusband.
    ”
    “
    No!Thatcan’
    tbe.Ipushedherouty
    est
    erday
    ,
    j
    usty
    ester
    day!
    ”
    Ont
    lal
    ookedatmeandhuggedme.“
    Eazi
    …”
    “No!Ont
    lamybabyi
    sher
    e,shei
    sal
    i
    ve…shei
    s
    goingt
    omakeit
    .”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    Ipushedherandgotof
    fbedt
    henmar
    chedt
    o
    whereIhadlef
    ther.
    “
    Eazi
    !
    ”
    “Mychi
    ldi
    sher
    e!Yousai
    dshewouldmakei
    t!
    Yousai
    dshewasgoingt
    obefi
    ne!Iwantmy
    chi
    l
    d.”
    Thenursetr
    iedhol
    dingmebutIpushedher
    awayangri
    ly.“
    Don’
    ty ouputyourhandsonme,
    youaregoi
    ngt ogi
    vemechi l
    d!Wher ei
    smy
    daught
    er?”
    Thedoct
    orwalkedover.“
    Come…Iwi
    l
    ltakey
    ou
    toher
    .Youneedtoidenti
    fyher
    .”
    Myhear tvi
    bratedonmychestasIf ollowed
    aft
    erhim.Heopenedadoorandwal kedinwi t
    h
    me.Ilookedar oundthehospital
    mortuarythen
    hepointed.Islowlywalkedovertot
    hel i
    tt
    le
    bundl
    einwhi te.MyhandsshookasIl ookedat
    mydaught er,shelookedpaleandsti
    ll
    .Ipicked
    herupast earsrandownmycheeks
    “
    Baby
    …it
    ’smama…mamai
    sher
    e…”
    “
    Yousee?Shei
    sgone.
    ”
    Ishookmyheadwhi sper
    ing.“Shecan’
    t…she
    wasfine…Shecr
    ied.Sheisfine…sheisjust
    sl
    eeping.
    ”
    “
    Eazi
    …”
    “No,
    Lel
    entl
    e,mamaisher
    e…”Icaressedher
    col
    dcheekthent
    hedoct
    ortookherfrom me.
    “
    Shei
    sgone.
    ”
    “
    Giv
    ememydaught
    erback!
    ”
    “
    Eazi
    …”
    Il
    ookedathi
    m cr
    ying.“
    Butshewasf
    ine….she
    cr
    ied…shewasfi
    ne.”
    “
    Iam sosor
    ry.
    ”
    Il
    ookedatheragai
    nandbr
    okedowni
    ntoal
    oud
    cr
    y.
    “
    Shei
    sfi
    ne,
    giv
    ememydaught
    er!
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lar
    rangef
    orsomeoney
    ouwi
    l
    ltal
    kto.
    ”
    “
    Iwantmydaught
    er.
    ”
    “Wehavest
    art
    edwor
    kingonherdeat
    h
    cer
    ti
    fi
    cat
    e.”
    “
    Whatdi
    dIdot
    odeser
    vet
    his?
    ”
    Thedoct
    orwat
    chedmecr
    ythensadl
    ylooked
    down.
    “
    Shesaidmybabywoul
    ddie…shewi
    shedf
    or
    mydaught
    ert
    odie…sheisdead.
    ”
    “
    Eazi
    …”
    “
    Shei
    sdead…”

    *
    **

    Thabi
    lewat
    chedAbedr
    essupasshesatont
    he
    bed.
    “
    Iam sor
    ryf
    ory
    ourl
    oss.
    ”
    Hepi
    ckedhi
    scarkey
    sput
    ti
    ngonhi
    sshoes.
    “
    Abe…Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    Hel ookedatheronceandr ushedout.Hegoti
    n
    hiscaranddroveoff,hi
    sdaught erhaddi
    ed
    whilehehadsex,cheati
    ngonhi swi f
    e.The
    thoughtofEazimadeguiltchockhim.His
    phonev
    ibr
    atedashedr
    ove.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Weareonourwayt
    othehospi
    tal
    toseet
    he
    baby
    .”
    “
    Ther
    eisnobaby
    ,Iam onmywayt
    her
    e.”
    Hehear
    dMal col
    mf r
    om t
    hebackgroundthen
    hi
    smotherspoke.“
    Eazi
    wasreleased?”
    “
    No,
    Lel
    ent
    lepassedon.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Iam onmywayt
    her
    e,wewi
    l
    ltal
    k.”
    Hespeddrivingthroughar edtr
    affi
    cli
    ght.
    Minut
    eslaterhepar kedhiscarthentookoffhi
    s
    ts-
    shi
    rtandputonhi shoodief
    rom thebackseat
    .
    HerushedtoEazi ’
    sr oom andbursti
    n.
    Ontl
    ametsiturnedandl ookedathim wipi
    ng
    awayhertears.
    “
    Hi,
    wher
    eisEazi
    ?”
    Shesni
    ff
    ed.“
    Shei
    sident
    if
    yingt
    hebaby
    .”
    “
    Fuck!
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ryf
    ory
    ourl
    oss.
    ”
    Abesl
    owlysatdownashi
    sweaknessv
    isi
    ted
    hi
    sknees.
    “
    Ishoul
    dhav
    ebeenher
    e.”
    “Youar
    eher
    enow,that
    ’swhatmat
    ter
    s.Thi
    sis
    goingt
    obr
    eakher
    .”
    Heputhi
    shandsonhi
    sface.

    *
    **

    Feeli
    ngasifIhadbeenrainedon,
    Isl
    owly
    walkedbacktomyr oom witht
    ear
    srol
    li
    ngdown
    mycheeksgoingtomyneckandi nsi
    dethe
    hospit
    algown.Iwal
    kedinsidemyroom and
    l
    ookedatAbe.
    “
    Shei
    snotmov
    ing…shewon’
    tmov
    e…”
    Hest
    oodupandhuggedmeasIstoodst
    il
    l.
    “
    Shewon’
    tmove…sheisnotmov
    ing.”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry,
    wear
    egoi
    ngt
    odeal
    wit
    hthi
    s
    t
    oget
    her.
    ”
    “WhatdidIdo?Ishoul
    dhav
    ecal
    l
    edmamaand
    apol
    ogized.
    ”
    “
    Babe,
    ther
    ewasnot
    hingy
    oucoul
    dhav
    edone.
    ”
    “
    Iwantmybaby
    …Ij
    ustwantmybaby
    .”
    Ontl
    ast
    oodatthecornerwi
    pingawayhert
    ear
    s
    wit
    honehandoverhermouth.
    “
    Shewast
    ooy
    oung…”
    “
    Iam sor
    rybabe…wewi
    l
    ldeal
    wit
    hitt
    oget
    her
    .”
    Isteppedbackst
    ruggl
    i
    ngt
    obr
    eat
    heasmy
    cri
    eschockedme.
    “
    Iwantmybaby
    !”
    Ont
    lar
    ushedov
    er.“
    Shehasast
    hma.
    ”
    “
    Iwantt
    odi
    e!Ican’
    t…”
    “
    Babe…-
    “
    “
    Yoursi
    stersai
    dmybabywoul
    ddi
    e…she
    wi
    shedforhert
    odi
    eAbe…shewantedmybaby
    t
    odie!
    ”
    “
    Eazi
    …”
    Igaspedf
    orbr
    eat
    hfeel
    i
    ngmychestt
    ight
    en.
    “
    Babe,
    Iam cal
    l
    ingt
    hedoct
    or.
    .”
    HerushedoutasOnt
    lal
    ookedatmewhi
    l
    eI
    t
    ri
    edtobreathe.

    *
    **

    Tashal
    augheddr
    ivi
    ngwhi
    l
    espeaki
    ngt
    othe
    phone.
    “
    Shei
    sdead?
    ”
    “
    Ifeel
    sogui
    l
    tyf
    orwhatIsai
    dyest
    erday
    .”
    “Eazideser
    vesthatandmor e,
    don’tev
    enfeel
    guil
    ty.Nownothingisconnect
    inghertomy
    brother
    .”
    Thabil
    elaughed.“
    Thewayy
    ouhat
    eheri
    s
    dangerous.
    ”
    “Mxm, Ihatethi
    swomansomuchIwi shshe
    haddi edwi t
    hherbaby.Sherui
    nedmy
    relat
    ionship,shehastur
    nedmyf ami
    lyagainst
    me.AndIcanseet hr
    oughher,
    sheisagold
    digger.”
    “
    Yourbr
    othersay
    shel
    ovesher
    .”
    “
    Ther
    enot
    hingl
    i
    kel
    ove,
    Abel
    ovesy
    ou.
    ”
    Thabi
    l
    echuckl
    ed.“
    Idon’
    tknowany
    mor
    e.”
    “
    Abeneverst
    oppedlov
    ingy
    ou.Idon’
    tseet
    hat
    weddi
    nghappeni
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tknow.
    ”
    “Iam t
    ell
    ingy
    ou,thatweddingi
    snotgoi
    ngto
    happen.Youshouldgetyourman,
    Eaziandher
    sonshoul
    djustl
    eav
    e.”
    “
    Hewaswi
    thmel
    astni
    ght
    .”
    “
    Youl
    i
    e!”
    “
    Hespentt
    heent
    ir
    eni
    ght
    .”
    “Yousee?Youshoul
    dgetpr
    egnant
    .Hewant
    sa
    chil
    d.”
    “
    Iam notr
    eadyf
    orachi
    l
    datt
    hemoment
    .”
    “
    Hei
    s,gi
    vehi
    m achi
    l
    dandhewi
    l
    lcomebackt
    o
    y
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lthi
    nkabouti
    t.
    ”
    “
    Ookby
    e…”
    Tashahungupdr ivi
    nginMoemedi ’
    sstr
    eet.She
    openedt hegatewi t
    hherspar eremoteand
    drovepar ki
    ngbesideshiscar .Wit
    hasigh,she
    steppedouti nherhighheelsandsummer
    dressthenopenedherboot .Shetookher
    suit
    caset hendraggeditinside.Moemedi
    l
    ookedupasshewal kedinwi thherbagtaki
    ng
    of
    fhersungl
    asses.
    “
    Heybabe…”
    Moemedij
    umpedandrushedov
    erwhi
    sper
    ing.
    “
    Whatareyoudoi
    nghere?
    ”
    “
    Itol
    dyouIwascomi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Mywi
    fei
    sher
    e.”
    Tashat
    achuckl
    ed.“
    So?Youmar
    ri
    edherwi
    th
    mymoney.”
    “
    Babepl
    ease…”
    “Iam notgoinganywhere,Iam heretostay
    .
    Youmustt hinkIam afool.Youthi
    nky oucan
    goandgetmar r
    iedmakingmeoutt obeaf ool
    .
    Every
    thingisthi
    shousei smine!Iboughtit
    .”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lgi
    vei
    ttoy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Giveittomewhere?Youar
    ecrazy.Anddon’
    t
    f
    orgetthecari
    sst
    il
    linmyname.”
    Bi
    nawal
    kedf
    rom t
    heki
    tchenwi
    pingherhands
    andlookedatTashat
    henatherhusbandwi
    th
    herhandonherbump.
    “
    What
    ’shappeni
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Shei
    sleav
    ing.
    ”
    Tashapul
    ledherbagtothebedroom and
    l
    ookedaroundlooki
    ngatBina’
    sthings.Bi
    na
    walkedi
    n.
    “
    Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngi
    nmybedr
    oom?
    ”
    “Ev
    ery
    thi
    ngi
    nthi
    sbedr
    oom wasboughtbyme
    sweet
    y.”
    “So?Youcouldhav
    eboughtt
    hewhol
    ehouseI
    don’tcar
    ebutnowit’
    smi
    ne.”
    Tashal
    aughed.“
    Youhaveaver
    yloudmouthf
    or
    awomanwhowasmar r
    iedbymymoney.
    ”
    “
    So?Whocar
    esi
    fitwasy
    ourmoneyornot
    ?”
    “
    Iam notgoi
    ngany
    wher
    e.”
    Bi
    nawal
    kedi
    nandcl
    osedt
    hedoorbehi
    ndher
    .
    “
    Youmustt
    hinky
    ouknowme.
    ”
    Tashal
    ookedatherbump.“Iwi
    l
    lkickthatt
    hing
    andyouwil
    ll
    osethatbaby
    ,don’
    ttestme.”
    “
    Tryi
    t…”
    “
    Don’
    tpushme.
    ”
    Binal ockedthedoorandputt hekeyi nsi
    deher
    brat henopenedt hewar drobeandpul ledouta
    blackshambok.Tashaf r
    ownedt henBina
    raisedi tandwhippedheronce.Tasha
    scr eamedj umpingast hepainhadhert r
    ippi
    ng
    onherl ongheel
    s.Takingadv ant ageofthe
    situation,Bi
    nacontinuouslywhi ppedhery el
    l
    ow
    skinasshet ur
    nedr edscreami ng.
    “
    Moemedi
    !”
    “
    Iam goi
    ngt
    oteachy
    ouagoodl
    esson.
    ”
    Tashapul
    ledBi
    nabyherlongdr
    essbutBi
    na
    ki
    ckedherhar
    dontheface.
    “
    Youdar
    ecomet
    omybedr
    oom?Youar
    egoi
    ng
    t
    oregr
    eti
    t,t
    odayIam goi
    ngt
    oki
    l
    lyou.
    ”
    Binawhippedheragai
    nthenTashaheldthe
    shambok.ShepushedBi na’
    sstomachthatshe
    stagger
    edbackthenquicklyst
    oodupheading
    forthedoorbuti
    twaslocked.Binahel
    dher
    shambokpr oper
    ly.
    “
    Letmego,
    youar
    egoi
    ngt
    ojai
    lforassaul
    t.
    ”
    “AndIam goingt osueyou,nowIseey oumust
    thi
    nkIam stupid.Youaregoi ngtogiveme
    moneysot hatIcanstartbuildi
    ngahousewi t
    h
    myhusband. ”Binasmil
    ed.“Yes, youaregoing
    togiv
    emet hatmoneybutaf terIbeatyouf or
    myhusband.Youwer enothingbutagi rl
    fr
    iend
    andIam hiswi f
    e.Iam goingt oshowy outhatI
    am noti
    ny ourleague.
    ”
    TashatookoffherheelandthrewitatBi
    na
    hi
    tti
    ngherstomach.Binalookedatherasshe
    ai
    medf orherstomachthenraisedher
    shambokandwhi ppedher.Tashapunchedher
    stomachasthepainseethedi
    n.Bi
    nadropped
    theshambokandputherhandsonTashaneck
    andpushedheragainstt
    hewallwher
    eshe
    punchedherhar
    dthatbloodfi
    l
    ledTasha’
    s
    mouth.Bi
    naangri
    lypunchedheragai
    n.
    “
    That
    ’sf
    ormybaby
    !”
    “
    Ntogel
    e!(
    Leav
    eme!
    )”
    Bi
    napunchedherey
    e.“
    Andt
    hat
    ’sf
    orent
    eri
    ng
    myhouse.
    ”
    Shemov edbackasTashabendedwi thher
    handoverhermout h.Bi
    nat ookoutherkeyand
    unl
    ockedt hedoorthengrabbedTashabyher
    hai
    randt hrewheroutwhileMoemedi watched
    qui
    etl
    y.

    *
    **

    Att
    hehospi
    tal
    ,Ont
    lawal
    kedbackt
    otheEaz
    i’
    s
    room hol
    dingherfood.Herphonev
    ibr
    atedf
    rom
    herpocketthensheanswered.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Ontl
    a,Iwantt
    ocomet
    her
    e,mydaught
    erneeds
    me.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    llsendmoneyforyourbusf
    are.Abel
    eft
    ,he
    i
    sar
    rangingt
    hefuner
    al.
    ”
    “
    Sendt
    hemoney
    ,Iwi
    l
    lcome.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Ontl
    adroppedhermot
    her
    ’scal
    landwal
    kedi
    n
    Eazi
    ’
    sroom.
    “
    Eazi
    …-“
    Shedr
    oppedthef
    oodst
    ari
    ngatEazi
    hangi
    ng
    fr
    om t
    hecei
    li
    ng.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #41

    Ontlamet siscreamedr ushingoutandcame


    backwi thanur sewhoqui cklyjumpedont he
    bedandcutt her opewi t
    hapocketkni fe.He
    caughtherasherbodyf ellthengotdownwi th
    her.Ont l
    amet si’
    sheartpoundedev enmoreas
    shel ookedathersi ster’
    sheadwhi chwas
    dangl i
    ngaround.Thenur ser ushedoutwithher
    whileshet ri
    edf oll
    owingbutherkneeswer eso
    weakshef oundher selfunabl etomove.Her
    phoner angt henshesl owlyt ookitout
    .
    “
    Hey ,
    areyoucomi
    ngnow?Ijustbookedusi
    nto
    aroom,youneedt
    ofr
    eshenup.”
    “
    Eazi
    tri
    edki
    l
    li
    ngher
    sel
    f.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Shewashangi
    ngf
    rom t
    hecei
    l
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Issheok?
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tknowTan,
    theyt
    ookheraway
    .”
    “
    Shei
    sgoi
    ngt
    obef
    ine.
    ”
    “Ican’
    tbel
    iev
    eshet
    ri
    edki
    l
    li
    ngher
    sel
    f.What
    aboutMalc?”
    “Ont
    lametsipeopledealwit
    hpaindiff
    erentl
    y.I
    don’
    tknowbutIam sur ecarryi
    ngachildfor9
    months,fal
    li
    nginlovewiththatchi
    l
    dandonl y
    togohomewi t
    hdeadbodyi snotsomet hi
    ngwe
    canjustover
    look.Sheisdeali
    ngwithalot.”
    “
    Iunder
    standal
    lthatbutwhataboutMal
    c?”
    “
    Sheisnott
    hinki
    ngst
    rai
    ght
    .Don’
    tcr
    uci
    fyher
    f
    orbei
    nginpain.
    ”
    “
    Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evet
    his,
    Ifeel
    soweak.
    ”
    “
    Iam comi
    ng.
    ”
    Hehungupt
    henshesatont
    hef
    loorcl
    osi
    ngher
    eyes.Shehadnev erl
    ostachildandmay be
    that
    ’swhyshecoul dn’
    tunderstandjusthow
    someonewoul dwantt oki
    llt
    hemsel vesand
    l
    eav eanotherchildbehi
    ndasi fthatchil
    ddidn’
    t
    matter.Tanwal kedoverandlookedather .
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “Malcolm can’tlosehi sbabysi sterandmot her
    too,heist ooy oungtogot hrought hat
    .Why
    can’tEazi thi
    nkf orhi
    mt oo?Sheal way sput
    s
    thatchildthrought hemostandev eryti
    meshe
    alwayshasanexcusef orit
    .Shel ethim
    witnesssomuchv i
    olenceandherexcusewas
    shecoul dn’tj
    ustl eave.Foryear sthi swenton.
    From thereshet ri
    eskill
    ingher sel
    f.Iam
    beginningt othinkshehat est hischi l
    dbecause
    herpriorit
    iesarenev erabouthi m.Howcanshe
    l
    ov ethisbabysomuchshei swi l
    l
    ingt okil
    l
    herself
    ? ”
    “
    Babecomeon…”
    “Iam notgoi
    ngtounderst
    andany t
    hing,
    Malcolmisherson!I
    sshedidn’twanthim she
    coul
    dhav egi
    venhim upforadopti
    on.”
    “Don’
    tyouthi
    nkyouar
    ebei
    ngal
    i
    ttl
    einsensi
    ti
    ve?
    Sheisyoursi
    ster
    .”
    “Eazii
    sselfi
    sh, ormaybejuststupidandweak.
    Shecan’tevent hinkf
    orhersel
    f.Iam donewith
    thi
    swoman. ”Ontlast
    oodup.“ Ionl
    yfeelsor
    ry
    forMalcol
    mf ortheki
    ndofpar entsGodgave
    him.Iam leaving.”
    “
    Yoursi
    sterneedsy
    ou.
    ”
    “Ican’
    tstandEazi
    somet
    imesandIdon’
    twant
    ustoexchangemeanwords.Iwi
    l
    lonl
    ycome
    forthefuner
    al.
    ”
    Tanfrowned.“Shejustlostherchil
    d.Youcan’
    t
    expecthertobefine.Sheisgrievi
    ng.Peopl
    e
    gri
    evediff
    erent
    ly.
    ”
    “Iwi
    l
    ltaket
    hebusifyouwon’tt
    akemeback,
    Eazi
    needstol
    ear
    nt ostandonherownand
    maybethi
    shappenedforareason.Sheneeds
    tol
    earnhowtobestrongandIam notgoingto
    bether
    eholdi
    ngherhand.Iam l
    eaving,
    areyou
    comingornot
    ?”
    Tanl
    ookedatherandshookhi
    shead.“
    No,
    I
    cameheref
    orareasonremember
    ?”
    “Ok,
    wewi
    l
    ltal
    k.”Ont
    last
    oodupandwal
    ked
    away.

    *
    **

    Tashasatinhercarstar
    ingatherswoll
    enf ace
    onhercompactmi rr
    or.Tear
    sfil
    ledhereyes,her
    enti
    reskinwasreddi
    sh.Shetookadeepbr eath
    andsteppedoutofthecaratthepoli
    cestation
    thenwalkedi
    n.
    “
    Dumel
    ang,
    Iwoul
    dli
    ket
    orepor
    tassaul
    t.
    ”
    Thef
    emal
    epol
    i
    ceof
    fi
    cerf
    rownedst
    ari
    ngather
    .
    “
    Whathappenedt
    oyou?
    ”
    “
    Thi
    sladyhi
    tme.
    ”
    “
    Hav
    eyoul
    ookedaty
    our
    sel
    font
    hemi
    rr
    or?
    ”
    “
    Iwantt
    olaychar
    ges.
    ”
    “
    Whydi
    dshehi
    tyou?
    ”
    “
    Myboy
    fri
    endgotmar
    ri
    edbehi
    ndmyback.
    ”
    “
    Yourboy
    fri
    endi
    sherhusband?
    ”
    “Yes,Iwenttothei
    rhousebecauseit’
    s
    technical
    lymyhouse.Everyt
    hingint
    hathouse
    wasboughtbyme, eventhecarhedri
    ves,i
    t
    wasal lme.Hemar ri
    edherwi t
    hthemoneyI
    gavehi m sot
    hatwecanst artabusi
    ness
    together.
    ”
    “
    Sol etmegetthi
    sstrai
    ght
    ,youwer
    eina
    r
    elati
    onshi
    pwiththi
    smanandy ouhav
    ebeen
    t
    akingcareofhim?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Doeshewor
    k?”
    “
    Yes,
    att
    hemi
    ne.
    ”
    “Soamanwhoworksatthemineandobvi
    ousl
    y
    getspai
    dal
    othasbeensur
    viv
    ingthr
    oughyour
    money?”
    “
    Ihel
    phi
    m.”
    “
    Andnowhet ookthemoneyy ougavehim so
    t
    ostartabusi
    ness,doyouhavesomewhere
    wher
    ey ouandhim bot
    hsignedaboutt
    hat
    money?”
    “
    No.
    ”
    “
    Soy
    oupr
    act
    ical
    l
    yjustgav
    ehi
    m money
    ?”
    “
    Yes.P10K.I
    sther
    esomet
    hingIcandosohe
    r
    etur
    nsit?
    ”
    “
    Whywouldher
    etur
    niti
    fyougav
    eitt
    ohi
    m
    wi
    ll
    i
    ngl
    y?”
    “
    It
    ’smymoney
    !”
    “Yougav ehimt hatmoney ,hedidn’tforcey ou.
    What everhemayusei tf
    or ,
    that’
    shi sownt hi
    ng.
    Youev engothi m acar,i
    tseemsl ikey ouar ea
    verygenerousgi rl
    fr
    iendbutmoneydoesn’ tkeep
    aman.Nowhef oundsomeonehewant edto
    mar r
    y,mar r
    iedherandmadeherhi swi fe.You
    wentt oherhouse, obvi
    ouslyprovokedher
    tel
    li
    nghert hatthemoneyshewasmar r
    iedwi th
    wasf rom you,shegotangr yjustl
    ikeanywi fe
    wouldbeangr yandbeaty ou.”
    “
    Shedeser
    vest
    ogot
    ojai
    lforwhatshedi
    d.”
    “Andyoudeservet
    obesued.Foral
    lweknow
    youmighthaveatt
    ackedherf
    ir
    stbecausey
    ou
    arebi
    tterandangr
    y.”
    “
    Arey
    ougoi
    ngt
    ohel
    pmeornot
    ?”
    “Youcanwr i
    teyourstat
    ement.Youare
    probablythoseti=ypeofwomanwhogoar ound
    sayingyoumadehi m soheshouldbewit
    hyou,
    thereisnothingli
    kethat.Youwi
    llmakehi
    m and
    anot
    herwomanwi
    l
    lenj
    oywhaty
    oumade.
    ”
    Tashasighedwhil
    eherbodyachedthenawhil
    e
    l
    atershewalkedoutandgoti
    nhercar.She
    drovebacktoalodge,wi
    thBi
    nainjai
    l,i
    twoul
    d
    maket hi
    ngseasi
    erforher
    .

    *
    **

    Meanwhil
    ethepol
    iceof
    fi
    cerr
    eadthroughher
    st
    atementandl
    aughedwit
    hhercol
    league.
    “
    Sidechi
    cksar
    eal
    way
    sful
    loft
    hemsel
    ves.
    ”
    “Tel
    lmeaboutit
    .Thi
    swomanpr
    obabl
    yknew
    aboutt
    heotherwoman.
    ”
    “I
    fIwer ethewifeIwouldhav
    edonewor se.I
    hatesidechicks.Howcanshejustst
    andhere
    boldl
    ytalkingaboutpr
    essi
    ngchargeswhenshe
    i
    stheonewr ong.”
    “
    Youknowhowwomenar
    e.”
    “
    Mxm.Iwoul
    dhav
    eki
    l
    ledt
    hatwhor
    e.

    *
    **

    Moemedi
    lookedatBi
    na.
    “Shei
    sgoingtopr
    esscharges.Youcan’
    tgo
    andbeatpeopl
    earound.
    ”
    “
    Youmeany
    ourwhor
    e?”
    “Iam t
    ryi
    ngtomakey
    ouunder
    standt
    haty
    ou
    cangot oj
    ail
    .”
    “Iam goingtotellt
    hepolicethatsheattacked
    mewhi leIwasj ustsi
    tt
    ing.Ihitherbackasi t
    wasselfdefense.Iwashel pl
    essbecauseIam
    pregnantandtheshambokwast heonlythingI
    coulduse.”
    Moemedi
    ’
    sphoner
    angt
    henBi
    naanswer
    ed.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Cany
    ougi
    vehi
    m hi
    sphone.
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    twantt
    o.”
    “
    Ihav
    erepor
    tedy
    out
    othepol
    i
    ce.
    “
    AndIam suingyou.Godt
    hingIhav
    eal
    lyour
    messages.Youar
    egoingt
    ogiveme150k”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    ltel
    lthecour
    tthatIdi
    dn’
    thewasmar
    ri
    ed.
    ”
    “Forasmar twomany ouarefool
    ish,
    Bytheway
    Iwantedtot hanky
    ouf orev
    eryt
    hingyoubought
    .
    Iappreci
    ateit.
    ”Shehungupandsmi led.
    “
    Iwantt
    oknowt
    hepr
    ocessofsui
    ng.
    ”

    *
    **

    Thabi
    ledr
    ankherj
    uicewhi
    l
    ehermot
    her
    water
    edhergar
    den.
    “
    Soyouaretel
    l
    ingmet
    haty
    ouwantamanwho
    i
    smarr
    ied?”
    “
    Hei
    snoty
    etmar
    ri
    ed.
    ”
    “OduetsimagadiThabi
    l
    e,mothoony
    et se.You
    brokeupwithAbeagesback,
    whydoy ouwant
    tohurtanot
    herwoman? ”
    “
    Ilov
    ehi
    mtoo.
    ”
    “Hemov edon, Idon’tunderstandwhaty our
    problem is.Thatmani smar ri
    ed,heisonly
    goingt ousey ouandl eavey ou.Hadhewant ed
    you, hewoul dhav elongbeeny oursbynow.
    Youwi l
    lthinkyouar ewinni
    ngwhenhecomes
    backagai nbutt hatwon’tbet hecase,heis
    goingt okeephav i
    ngsexwi thy oubecauseyou
    willbenot hingbutasext hi
    ngt ohim.That ’
    s
    howamanoper ates.Hewillmakey out hi
    nklike
    youar etheonet hendumpy ou.Doesn’tmatter
    whoy ourfatheris.”
    “Iam goi
    ngt
    ogi
    vehi
    m achi
    l
    d,hi
    swi
    fe
    coul
    dn’t.
    ”
    “
    Iam doneadv
    isi
    ngy
    ou.I
    tseemsl
    i
    key
    ouhav
    e
    amindofyourownandIwon’
    tst
    opyoubut
    t
    rustme,y
    ouaregoingt
    oregr
    ett
    his.
    ”
    Thabil
    ewal kedbackinsi
    det
    hehouseandput
    herglassinthesinkandwentouttohercar.
    ShetriedAbe’snumberbuthi
    sphoner ang
    unanswered.Withasighshegotinhercarand
    drovetohishouse.

    *
    **

    Ti
    nolaughedast
    hepol
    i
    ceof
    fi
    cernar
    rat
    eda
    st
    orytohim.
    “Shewassobi
    tt
    ershewantedmetolosemy
    j
    obandwhenthatdi
    dn’
    thappenshestar
    ted
    draggi
    ngmynameonfacebook.
    ”
    “
    Exes,Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evesherepor
    tedmef
    orhav
    ing
    arel
    ati
    onshi
    pwithaminor.
    ”
    “
    Don’
    twor
    ryabouti
    t.Thanky
    out
    houghf
    or
    comi
    ngby
    .”
    “
    Sur
    e…”
    Tinowalkedoutandgoti
    nhi
    scart
    hendr
    ovet
    o
    thehospit
    alcal
    li
    ngAbe.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Iam sor
    ryf
    ory
    ourl
    oss.
    ”
    “
    Iwonderi
    fIam meantt
    ohav
    eki
    ds.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    e.Theset
    hingshappen.
    ”
    “
    Lel
    eisnott
    hef
    ir
    stbabyIam l
    osi
    ng.
    ”
    “Misf
    ort
    uneshappen,
    itwi
    l
    lbeal
    ri
    ght
    .Ify
    ou
    needanythi
    ngtel
    lme.
    ”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    Tinohungup,minuteslat
    erhewaswal ki
    ng
    i
    nsidethepri
    vat
    ehospi t
    al.Hebri
    efl
    ychatt
    ed
    withther
    ecepti
    onistandmadehiswayt oEazi
    ’s
    room.Hewalkedinandf rownednotfi
    ndi
    ng
    anyone.Wal
    kingouthebumpedi ntoanurse.
    “
    Wher
    eist
    hel
    adyt
    hatwasi
    nthi
    sroom?
    ”
    “
    Oht
    heonewhoki
    l
    ledher
    sel
    f?”
    “
    No,Imeant
    he…”Tinoshookherhead.“
    Imean
    t
    heonewhojustl
    ostherbaby
    .”
    “
    Yes,
    sheki
    l
    ledher
    sel
    f.
    ”

    *
    **

    AtTendai ’
    shouse, Lonaslookedatherbabyfor
    awhi l
    e,theresembl ancegotworsewitheach
    dayandshecoul dalreadyseeThami i
    nthat
    chil
    dface.Any onecoul dseeanditmadeher
    evenmor escar ed.SomehowsheknewTendai
    wasgoi ngtohur therwhenhef ounditor
    may beev enki
    llher.Shetookherphoneand
    wentongoogl e.
    ‘
    Canyougetpr
    egnantf
    rom t
    hepeni
    srubbi
    ng
    onyou?
    ’
    Resul
    tscameoutthesher
    eadthrough.She
    swall
    owedhar
    dstari
    ngatherson’
    sfacethen
    herphoner
    ang.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Heybabe…It
    hinkImi
    ghtbeget
    ti
    ngr
    eleased
    soonert
    hanIt
    hought.
    ”
    Herhear
    tski
    pped.“
    What
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Ican’
    twai
    ttomeetmyson.
    ”
    “
    Whencant
    heyr
    eleasey
    ou?
    ”
    “
    May
    bei
    namont
    horaf
    ewweekst
    ime.
    ”
    “
    Iam happy
    .”
    “
    Met
    oo,
    Ihopey
    ouar
    etaki
    ngcar
    eofmyboy
    .”
    “
    Iam.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    Hehungupt henshestoodupandgr abbeda
    pi
    ll
    ow.Ifshekil
    l
    edhimt henTendaiwouldgiv
    e
    heranot
    herbaby.Herheartpoundedasshe
    l
    ookedatthebabywhiletearsfi
    l
    ledhereyes.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #42

    Atthehospi
    tal,
    Tinolookedaroundther
    oom
    thenbackatthenursebefor
    ewal ki
    ngout
    call
    i
    nganumber .
    “
    T-man,
    ”
    “
    Tshepo,
    Abe’swi
    fei
    sher
    e,Iwantt
    oknow
    wher
    esheis.
    ”
    “
    Abe’
    swi
    fei
    sher
    e?”
    ‘
    Yeah,
    shegavebi
    rthyest
    erdayandl
    ostt
    he
    babyt
    odaymorni
    ng.”
    “
    What
    ’shername?
    ”
    “
    Eazi
    Mat
    lapeng.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    wai
    t,l
    etmecheck.
    ”
    Ti
    nowaitedimpat
    ient
    lywit
    hhi
    sheartpoundi
    ng.
    Hi
    sphoner angmi
    nuteslat
    ert
    henhequickl
    y
    pi
    cked.
    “
    And?
    ”
    “Shei
    sherebutshetri
    edcommit
    ti
    ngsui
    cide.
    Theyarecur
    rent
    lykeepi
    ngacl
    oseeyeonher.
    ”
    “
    Anur
    sej
    ustt
    oldmet
    hatsheki
    l
    ledher
    sel
    f.
    ”
    “Misinfor
    mati
    on.Iwonderwhytheybot
    her
    sayingsomethingift
    heyareunsur
    eofthe
    si
    tuat i
    onbutsheisfi
    ne.Theyonedaymeet
    someonewhowi ll
    suethem.”
    “
    Thanks,
    wher
    eisshe?
    ”

    *
    **

    Tinowalkedi
    nar oom whereEaziwassleepi
    ng
    andsighedsadl
    y.Hecouldn’tunder
    standher
    si
    tuat
    ionthoughhecouldtellt
    hedeathofthe
    babyhadhither
    .Himt oocouldn’
    tbeli
    evethe
    babyhehadheldjustyest
    erdaywasgone.
    Heheldherhandl
    ooki
    ngathert
    henhi
    sphone
    vi
    brat
    ed.Hetooki
    toutwal
    ki
    ngout.
    “
    Yeah?
    ”
    “Iam goingtothehospit
    altoEazi,Il
    eftmama
    tofi
    nishupwi t
    hthepreparati
    ons,cany ougo
    andcollectMalcforme?Hest il
    ldoesn’tknow.
    Takehim outorsomet hi
    ng.”
    “
    Yeahsur
    e.”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    Hehungupandsi
    ghedwal
    ki
    ngbacki
    nfi
    ndi
    ng
    meawake.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    Tear
    sfi
    l
    ledmyey
    eswhi
    l
    emyl
    i
    pst
    rembl
    ed.
    “Hi
    …”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evei
    ttoo,
    shewasf
    ine.
    ”
    Inoddedcr
    yingsi
    l
    ent
    ly.“
    Ijustwantmybaby
    .”
    Tinoclear
    edhisthr
    oattaki
    nginadeepbr
    eat
    h.
    “IwishIcoul
    dtakethepainfr
    om y
    ouandcar
    ry
    i
    tonmyshoul ders.
    ”
    Moretearsgushedfrom myeyesasthepai
    n
    str
    angl
    edme.“ IwishIcanholdmybaby.Iwish
    Icanhearhercri
    es.Idi
    dn’tev
    entakeapict
    ure.
    ”
    “
    Ijustbumpedintoyourdoctor
    ,theyaregoing
    t
    oar r
    angeforyourt
    herapi
    sttohelpy ou.Iknow
    i
    twon’tchangemuchbuti twil
    lhelp.
    ”
    “
    Canshebr
    ingbackmychi
    l
    d?”
    “
    No,
    buty
    oucant
    alkt
    oher
    .Idon’
    tknowmuch
    butIknowal otofthingshappenf orareason,if
    shewasmeantt oli
    vet henshewoul dhaveliv
    ed.
    Weshoul dbecelebrati
    ngherl i
    fe.Thi
    ngsmi ght
    behardnow, butonedayy ouwilll
    ookbackand
    seeallyouhaveaccompl i
    shed.
    ”
    Iputmyhandsonmyf acecr
    ying.Hewal
    ked
    overandhuggedme.
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Myhear
    tisbr
    eaki
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Iknow,
    it’
    sgoi
    ngt
    obeal
    ri
    ght
    .”
    “
    Ijustwantt
    owakeupwheni
    t’
    sov
    er.
    ”
    Hest
    eppedback.“
    Heal
    i
    ngt
    akest
    ime,
    itwi
    l
    lbe
    ov
    eroneday.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    eisOnt
    la?
    ”
    “
    Yoursi
    ster
    ?’
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Idi
    dn’
    tseeher
    .Youcancal
    lherwi
    thmy
    phone.
    ”
    Tinohandedhert hephonebutquicklysnatched
    andpr esseditforacoupleofsecondst hen
    handedi toverwithaninnocentsmile.Isl
    owly
    tookitanddi al
    edhernumber .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hey
    ,wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Eazi
    ?”
    “
    Yes.Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Ilef
    t.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “Il
    eft.Ican’tdealwi
    thy ourweaknessany mor e,
    Howdoy oukil
    lyour
    selfknowi ngt hereis
    Malcolm?Whoar ey oul eavinghi mf or?Youjust
    don’tthi
    nkwheny oudot hings,ormay beyou
    j
    ustdon’ tcare.Whateveri tis,Iam tiredofit
    .
    Youbehav eli
    keachi l
    dandal way smake
    excusesf orit
    .Youcan’ tappr eciat
    egoodt hi
    ngs
    wheny ouhav et hem y etyoucoul dtolerat e
    nonsensef ory ears.Malcol m deservesabet t
    er
    motherandIam sor rytosayt hisbuty ouwoul d
    havenev erbeenagr eatpar enttoLel entle.You
    arejustli
    key ourmot her ,self
    ishandst upi dbut
    thenexpectev eryonet of eelsorryfory ou.I
    can’tdealwithy ourweaknessany mor e,growa
    backboneandst opbei ngsuchawal kov er.You
    fi
    ghtforunnecessar ythingsbutwheni tcomes
    foryoutof i
    ghtf orthoset hingsthatmat ter,y
    ou
    j
    ustdon’ t
    .Iam goi ngt oMaun, Iwil
    l comeback
    forthefuneral.Yourmot herisherway .”She
    hungup.
    Itookadeepbreat
    hbl
    inki
    ngawaymyt
    ear
    s
    thenhandedTi
    nobackhisphone.
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    ouok?
    ”
    Iswal
    l
    owed.“
    Yes,
    Iam f
    ine.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Ihav
    etogo.
    ”
    Inoddedandwat
    chedhi
    m wal
    kout
    .

    *
    **

    AbedialedEazi
    ’snumberfort
    hetent
    hti
    meand
    frownedasitbeepedoncenotgoi
    ngthr
    ough.
    Hechangedt herout
    esandspedtothehospi
    tal
    thenhisphonerang.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Abe,
    mamasai
    d-“
    “
    Whatdi
    dyousayt
    oEazi
    aboutmydaught
    er?
    ”
    “
    Huh?
    ”
    “Tashata,
    whatdi
    dyousayt
    oEazi
    regar
    dingmy
    daughter?
    ”
    “
    Whatdi
    dshesayIsai
    d?”
    “Ican’
    tbel
    i
    eveIhav
    easi
    sterl
    i
    key
    ou,
    youmust
    behappynow.”
    “
    Abe-
    “
    “Idon’ tknowwhaty outhinkt hisisbutIwi l
    lnot
    l
    ety oudi srespectmywi feliket his.Ifyoudon’t
    l
    ikeher ,fi
    ne, stayawayf rom her .Youmustbe
    happyaboutourl ossandf ort hatIdon’twantt o
    seey ourf aceany wherenearEazi .Don’tcome
    tomyhousebecauset hat’smywi fe’
    shouse.I
    alsoknowy ouhav ebeencommuni cati
    ngto
    Thabi le,keepy ournastyat ti
    tudeawayf r
    om my
    wife, i
    fy ouandThabi l
    ehav ef undi scussingmy
    wife, keepi ttherebecausei fev erIhearanot her
    wor d, Iam goi ngt oslapy oubot hsohar dyou
    willhat emef ort herestofy ourl ives.Osekawa
    batlagont l
    wael aTashat a,Iam noty ourfri
    end.
    Don’ ttakemyqui etnessf orfool i
    shness.Nxla.”
    Hehungupandparkedhi
    scarthenst
    eppedout
    wit
    hherclot
    hes.Hebumpedi
    ntoherdoct
    or
    andsmil
    ed.
    “
    Doct
    or,
    howi
    smywi
    fe?
    ”
    “Sheisf
    inenow.Iknowweal l
    dealwithpai
    n
    dif
    fer
    entl
    yandthat’
    swhywear egoingtokeep
    acloseeyeonher.Suici
    dei
    salwaysthefi
    rst
    opti
    onformostpeople.”
    “
    Sui
    cide?
    ”
    “
    Yes…”Thedoct
    orsi
    ghed.“
    Youdon’
    tknow?
    ”
    “
    Knowwhat
    ?”
    “Eazi
    tri
    edcommi t
    ti
    ngsuici
    de,i
    t’
    sact ual
    l
    y
    surpr
    isi
    ngthetr
    oubleshewentthroughcreati
    ng
    aholeinthecei
    l
    ingandstaff
    ,butshei sf
    ine
    now.”
    “
    Youmov
    edher
    ?”
    “
    Yes,
    wehadt
    o.”

    *
    **

    Abewal
    kedi
    nmyr
    oom andl
    ookedatmeasI
    star
    edatt
    hewhitewal
    l
    s.Heputthecl
    othes
    downandcuppedmyfacet
    earf
    ull
    y.
    “
    Youcan’tpossi
    blythi
    nkofki
    l
    li
    ngyour
    sel
    fbabe,
    whataboutourson?Whataboutme?”
    “Iam sorry
    .Iwasn’
    tthinki
    ng.ButnowIam.
    Howf arar
    eyouwit
    ht hefuneral
    arrangements?
    ”
    “
    Arey
    ousur
    eyouar
    efi
    ne?Icanhandl
    eit
    .”
    “
    No,Iwanttobepartofi
    t.May
    bei
    twi
    l
    lgi
    veme
    t
    heclosur
    eIneed.
    ”
    Heleanedov
    erandkissedme.“
    Wehav et
    o
    chooseacof
    fin.Orwecanhavehercr
    emated.
    ”
    “No,Iwantt
    obur
    yher.Shewashuman.She
    deserv
    esasmuch.”
    “
    That
    ’sst
    il
    lfi
    ne.Any
    thi
    ngy
    ouwant
    ,Iam good
    wi
    thi
    t.
    ”
    Ilookedathi
    m andf
    orcedasmi
    l
    e.“
    Iam happy
    tohav ey
    ou.”
    “
    Soam I
    .Wear
    egoi
    ngt
    obef
    ine.
    ”
    “
    Iknow.Hav
    eyout
    oldMal
    c?”
    “
    Noty
    et.
    ”
    “Weshoul
    dtel
    lhi
    m.I
    sthedeat
    hcer
    ti
    fi
    cat
    e
    out
    ?”
    “
    Yes,
    Iam col
    l
    ect
    ingi
    ttoday
    .”
    “Ok,Iwantthef
    uner
    aldoneassoonas
    possibl
    e.”
    “
    Her
    e?Wecangot
    o-“
    “
    Iwanttobur
    yhernextt
    omyf
    ather
    ,ify
    oudon’
    t
    mind.
    ”
    “
    Any
    wher
    eisf
    inebabe.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    assoonast
    hedeat
    hcer
    ti
    fi
    cat
    eisout
    .”
    “
    Any
    thi
    ngel
    se?
    ”
    Il
    ookedathi
    m.“
    No.That
    ’sal
    l
    .”
    Hekissedme.“
    DidIt
    ell
    youhowmuchIl
    ove
    you?
    ”
    Ishookmyheadt henhesmi l
    ed.“Ilov
    ey ouso
    much.Thebabywasj ustablessingfrom God,
    babyornobaby ,Isti
    llloveyouasmuch, even
    more,Iam notperfectandImessup.Butt hat
    doesn’
    tmeanIl ovey ouanyl essbabe.Ilove
    yousomuch, Iam notal wayst hebestfathert
    o
    oursonorthebesthusbandt oyou,butnever
    doubtmylovefory ou.”
    “Il
    ovey outoo, Iam sorr
    y,IknowIhav enot
    beenput ti
    ngmyal landit
    ’sallbecauseIam
    scaredbuti tdoesn’tmatternow.Itdoesn’t.I
    wantt obewi t
    hy ou.Tobef ul
    l
    ycommi tt
    edt o
    you.Iwanty outohav emeasmuchasy ou
    wantmet ohav ey ou.I
    t’
    ssohar drightnow, I
    feeldepressedbutIhav ey ou,Iknowy ou’v
    egot
    me.”
    Hel
    eanedov
    erandki
    ssedme.“
    Alway
    s.”

    *
    **
    Lonasdial
    edhermot
    herandsi
    ghedl
    i
    steni
    ngt
    o
    thephoneri
    ngi
    ng.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Mama,
    hei
    snotTendai
    ’
    s.”
    “Youshouldn’
    tlett
    hatconsumey ou,Helooks
    nothi
    nglikeThami,Tendai doesn’thaveto
    know.That’shi
    schild,helookslikey ou.He
    won’tsuspectanyt
    hing.”
    “
    Iam scar
    ed.
    ”
    “
    That
    ’shi
    sson.Don’
    trui
    nthi
    ngsf
    ory
    our
    sel
    f.
    ”
    “
    Hei
    sgoi
    ngt
    oknow.
    ”
    “
    Hei
    sdesper
    ate,
    hewon’
    tknowany
    thi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    May
    beIshoul
    drun?
    ”
    “Runforwhat?Youhavenothingtorunf r
    om.
    Hewon’ tknowunl
    essy oumakehi m suspect.
    Don’tr
    uinagoodrelat
    ionshi
    pf ory
    our sel
    f.Don’
    t
    for
    getyouhav efai
    ledyourform 5andhav
    eno
    degreetofal
    lbackon, i
    fIwereyouIwould
    makesur eTendaifundsmesot hatIcanf
    ini
    sh
    schoolandgot ouniver
    sit
    y.”
    “
    Iam scar
    ed.
    ”
    “Womanupandgetri
    dofthatfear
    ,yousti
    l
    l
    haveal
    ongwaytogo.Ihavetogo,Iam gl
    ad
    Li
    nasti
    l
    lhasn’
    tki
    ckedmeoutbutIknowsoon
    asshewil
    l
    .Youneedtobui
    ldmeahouse. ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Lonashungupandsighedt
    ryi
    ngtoshakeoff
    herworr
    y.Hermot
    herwasright
    ,therewasno
    wayhewouldknow.Shewouldjustkeept
    heli
    e.

    *
    **

    Li
    nawal
    kedinsi
    dehernewoff
    iceandsatdown
    wi
    thasmil
    e.Shecoul
    dalr
    eadyseeitr
    unning
    andall.Nowallshehadt odowasest abli
    sh
    hersel
    f.Shegrabbedaf il
    eofay ounggirlwho
    hadkill
    edherstepfatherandmot hert
    ogether
    withherstepfather
    ’schil
    d.Shereadt hrough
    real
    izi
    ngthathertri
    alwassoongoi ngtostart
    thensighedgoingthroughital
    l
    .Itwasat ri
    cky
    casebutoneshewasr eadyfor.Itwouldgive
    herwhatsheneeded.

    *
    **

    Takuwal
    kedi
    nsi
    det
    hehouseandl
    ookedat
    Gina.
    “
    Hey
    ,IcameassoonasIsawy
    ourmessage.
    ”
    Shelookedathi sface,helookedlikehehadn’t
    gonet othebarberinyears,matteroffacthe
    l
    ookedl ikeast
    ranger.Shecoul dbarely
    recognizehi
    m.Hi spantskeptf al
    li
    ngandhe
    heldthem wit
    honehandput ti
    ngonanol d
    ov
    ersi
    zedt
    -shi
    rtshecoul
    dbar
    elyr
    ecogni
    ze.
    “Hi,Icall
    edy ouherebecauseAbel osthi s
    daught er.Ithinkyouwerer ight.Yourwr ongs
    shouldn’tdi vi
    dethefamily
    , ourmar ri
    agehas
    nothingtodowi t
    hthekidsandt hat’
    sthet rut
    h.
    Theyshoul dn’tbesoinvol
    v edi nit
    .Nowt hatour
    divorceissoongoi ngtobef i
    nali
    zed,they
    shouldbackof f
    .Iwantyout obepar toft he
    funeral.Hemi ghtnotsayitbutheneedsy ou.
    Youhav ealway sbeenhisbi ggestsuppor ter
    sincehewasbor n.Youareagr eatfather.”
    Takusmi
    led.“Thanky
    ou,
    butIdoubthewant
    s
    toseemyface.”
    “I
    twil
    ltaketimeandIwil
    ltal
    ktothem al
    l
    .You
    notbei
    ngt herei
    saff
    ect
    ingever
    yone.Youneed
    tosi
    tdownandt alkt
    othem.”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.Youl
    ookbeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    Gi
    nasmi
    l
    edpushi
    ngbackherhai
    r.
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    AYEARLATER….
    .
    .
    .Don'
    tfor
    gettoli
    keandcomment
    ,wehav
    e
    anot
    hersponsorl
    inedup.
    ..
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #43

    Abelookedathisphonepressingitandcal
    led
    her.Hesighedsl
    idi
    ngitbackinhispocketnot
    getti
    nganyresponse.Hewalkedbackt owhere
    everyonewasandsmi l
    ed.
    Tshepol
    ookedathi
    m.“
    Wher
    eist
    hel
    adyoft
    he
    moment?”
    “
    Shei
    shel
    dupatwor
    k.”
    Tshepo’sgi
    rl
    fr
    iendwal
    kedbyhol
    dingher
    Savannah.“
    Sheismakingmoney
    .”
    Tendail
    ookedathi
    m andt
    ookasi
    pofhi
    sbeer
    walki
    ngover.
    “
    Wher
    eisshe?
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tknow.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sherpar
    ty.
    ”
    “Iknow…sheisbusy.Thatdeali
    simpor
    tantt
    o
    her,i
    t’
    sanint
    ernat
    ionaldeal
    .”
    “
    Shei
    snev
    erwi
    thy
    ou.
    ”
    Abesighed.“
    Justbecausey ouneverseeher
    doesn’
    tmeanshei sneverthere.Shei
    sbusy
    tr
    yingtoputher
    selfonthemapandnomat ter
    whatIwill
    alwayssupportmywi fe.
    ”
    Tendai
    nodded.“
    Ok.Letmehearhowf
    arTi
    no
    i
    s.”
    Hest
    eppedbackasAbelookedatthecrowdhe
    hadi
    nvi
    tedf
    orherbi
    rt
    hdayparty
    .Ithadbeen
    twohour sal
    readyandshestil
    lnothome.He
    tookadeepbr eat
    ht aki
    ngouthisphoneagai
    n
    andt ext
    edher.AcardroveinandOntlamet
    si
    steppedoutandwal kedover
    .Shelooked
    aroundthenspottedhim.
    “
    Hi,
    Iam sor
    ryIam l
    ate.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    eont
    ime.
    ”
    Shesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Wher
    eisshe?
    ”
    “
    Shehasn’
    tar
    ri
    ved.
    ”
    “
    Oh,Ihopeshedoesn’
    tgetannoy
    edseei
    ng
    me.
    ”
    “
    Shewon’
    t,
    youar
    esi
    ster
    s.”
    “Thi
    ngschangedAbe, weusedtobecl osebut
    nowwebar el
    ytalk.Shei
    sstil
    lupset,
    Ishouldn’
    t
    havesai
    dthethingsIsadthatday.Thepower
    ofmouth…”
    “
    Youcangetsomet
    hingt
    odr
    ink.
    ”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    Shet
    urnedandwal
    kedi
    nsi
    det
    hehouse.

    Gi
    nacal
    l
    edMy
    kel
    andwai
    ted,
    hepi
    ckedawhi
    l
    e
    l
    ater
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hey
    ,ar
    eyoucomi
    ngov
    er?
    ”
    “
    No,
    Iam busyt
    oni
    ght
    .”
    “
    Youhav
    ebeenmaki
    ngexcusest
    heseday
    s,
    y
    oudon’
    twantt
    oseeme.
    ”
    “
    Whydoy
    ousayt
    hat
    ?”
    “
    Becausei
    t’
    sthet
    rut
    h.Icanseei
    t.
    ”
    “Gi
    nayouar
    eoverthi
    nkingthi
    s.Ther
    eisal
    way
    s
    somethi
    ngwi
    thyou.Ican’
    tbeatpeacewit
    h
    you.
    ”
    “
    Ijustwantt
    oseey
    ou,
    that
    ’sal
    l
    .”
    “
    Tomor
    row.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hehungup, shelookedatherphonef orawhi le.
    Shecouldn’thelpbutf eel t
    herewassomeone
    el
    se.Shelookedatt hetimet hengotinherand
    drov
    eof fheadedt ohi shouse.Mi nut
    eslater
    sheparkedhercarandst eppedoutstaringat
    hi
    scarpar ked.Shef ishedoutt hesparekey s
    fr
    om herpocketaf tertryingtoopenthel ocked
    doorandunl ockedthenwal kedin.Alady
    l
    ookedatherasshewal kedinwi t
    haf r
    own.
    “
    Whoar
    eyou?
    ”
    Ginaswallowedlooki
    ngatt heyounglady
    putti
    ngthedotstogether.Theri
    ngonherf i
    nger
    madehert akeastepback.Shel ookedatthe
    wallandlookedattheirweddingpict
    urefr
    ame.
    My kelwal
    kedinandpausedl ookingather.
    “Babewhoi
    sthi
    s?Shej
    ustwal
    kedi
    n,shehasa
    key.
    ”
    Hesmi
    ledathi
    swi
    fe.“
    Thi
    sisthecl
    eani
    ngl
    ady
    .
    Uhma,
    meetmywifeOmpil
    e.”
    Ginanoddedwi
    thasmi
    l
    e.“
    Nicemeet
    ingy
    ou
    daught
    er.”
    Ompilesmil
    edst
    andingup.“
    Todayt her
    eis
    nothi
    ngtocl
    ean,Mykeldi
    dn’
    ttel
    lmet herewas
    someonewhocleanssoIhadalreadycleaned,
    butni
    cetomeetyou.”
    “
    Likewi
    se.
    ”
    Ginawalkedout,goti
    nheranddr ov
    eoff.Tear
    s
    blur
    redhervisi
    onthenshestoppedhercarby
    thesideoftheroadcry
    ing.

    *
    **

    Moemedi dr
    essedupasKopowal
    kedi
    nnaked.
    Shelookedathi
    m heputonhi
    swat
    chandsat
    down.
    “
    Moemedi
    ,Ihav
    ebeenf
    eel
    i
    ngsi
    ck.
    ”
    Hel
    ookedather
    .“What
    ’swr
    ong?
    ”
    “Somethingi
    swr ongwi
    thme,
    Ihav
    easmel
    l
    y
    dischar
    gelat
    ely
    .”
    “Maybeit
    ’syeasti
    nfect
    ion.
    ”Heopenedhi
    s
    wall
    etandthrewacoupleofhundr
    edsonthe
    bed.“
    Takey our
    sel
    fouttomorr
    ow.”
    “
    May
    beIshoul
    dgot
    othecl
    i
    nic.
    ”
    “Thereisnor easontogotot
    hecl
    i
    nic,
    Iam onl
    y
    sleepi
    ngy oursisterandy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    May
    beBi
    nai
    scheat
    ingt
    oo.
    ”
    “
    Binadoesn’tcheat,
    may
    beweshoul
    djustst
    op
    t
    hiswholething?”
    Kopol
    ookedandhi
    m andsmi
    l
    ed.“
    Iwon’
    tgo.
    .”
    Hewal
    kedoutandjumpedi
    nhi
    scarf
    ixi
    ng
    hi
    msel
    fanddroveoff
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Whatt
    imewi
    l
    lyoubehomet
    oni
    ght
    ?”
    “
    Iam al
    mostt
    her
    e.”
    “
    Ok,
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    Hespedupandminut
    esl
    aterhesteppedoutof
    t
    hecarandwal
    kednthehouse.Bi
    nasmi l
    ed.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Hey
    ,It
    ri
    edcomi
    ngbackeal
    i
    ert
    oday
    .”
    “
    Wer
    eyoudonewi
    thwor
    kthough?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Hepickedhi
    scrawl
    ingchil
    dandsmil
    ed
    t
    hrowingherupint
    heairandcat
    chi
    ngher
    .
    “
    Letmechange.
    ”
    Heputt hei
    rchil
    ddown, walkedtothebedroom
    wherehechangedandt ookanothershower.
    Walki
    ngout ,hekissedBinafrom behi
    ndwhile
    shedished.
    “
    Imi
    ssedy
    ou.
    ”
    Shesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Met
    oo.
    ”
    “
    Don’tyout
    hinkOnal
    ennai
    sbi
    genought
    ohav
    e
    asi
    bli
    ng?”
    “It
    oldyou,Iam nothavi
    nganotherchi
    l
    dtil
    lyou
    speaktoEaziconcerni
    ngMalcolm.Youhaven’
    t
    seenyoursoninalmosttwoyearsnownor
    haveyousentsomet hi
    ng.”
    “Iwi
    ll
    notsendany
    thingsot
    hatEazi
    andher
    boyf
    ri
    endcanuseit
    .”
    “
    Eazi
    andherhusbandar
    eri
    ch,
    theydon’
    tneed
    y
    ourmoney.
    ”
    “Iwil
    lonlysupporthi
    m whenheisher
    ewithme.
    Heshoul dhebeher ewi
    thmebutEaziwon’tl
    et
    him soletherkeephim,Iwon’
    tbot
    herher
    .”
    “
    Thenf
    orgetanot
    herchi
    l
    d.”

    *
    **

    Li
    nal
    ookedatLebot
    haandsmi
    l
    ed.
    “
    Howdoy
    ouf
    eel
    ?”
    “
    Iam sohappy
    .”
    Lebothal
    ookedoutthr
    oughthewi
    ndowwit
    ha
    hugesmileunabl
    etocomeintot
    ermswi
    ththe
    factt
    hatshewasgoinghomenow.
    “
    Youshoul
    dbe.
    ”
    “
    Iam goi
    ngt
    ogot
    ouni
    ver
    sit
    y.”
    “
    Asy
    oushoul
    d.”
    Linaparkedi
    nfr
    ontofhergr
    andmot
    her
    ’sy
    ard.
    “Thisi
    sit…”
    Shesteppedoutandr ushedinsi
    dethehouse
    whil
    eLinaslowlyfoll
    owedbehind.Lebot
    hagot
    i
    nthehouse, hergrandmotherpausedkni
    tt
    ing
    andslowlygotup.
    “
    Lebot
    ha?
    ”
    “
    Mmama…”
    Li
    nawat
    chedt
    hem hugt
    ight
    lycr
    yingi
    neach
    other’
    sarms.Hersi
    bli
    ngswalkedoverand
    huggedhertoo.Shesmil
    edtearf
    ull
    yand
    steppedback.Thegr
    andmotherlookedather
    andwal kedover
    .
    ”Thankyousomuchf orhel
    pingmy
    granddaught
    er.Idon’
    ttknowwhatIwoul
    dhav
    e
    doneifitwasn’
    tforyou.”
    “
    It
    ’sok.
    ”
    “MayGodbl
    essy
    ouwi
    thwhat
    every
    oumay
    desi
    re.
    ”
    Li
    nasmi
    l
    ed.“
    Thanky
    ouma,
    Ihav
    etogo.
    ”
    “
    Youcanst
    ayf
    orf
    ood.Iam donecooki
    ng.
    ”
    “
    No,
    it’
    sok.Butt
    hanky
    ou.By
    eLebot
    ha.
    ”
    Lebot
    hawalkedoverandhuggedhert
    ight
    ly.
    Li
    naputherarmsaroundher.
    “
    It
    ’soksweet
    y…”
    “
    Thankyou.Il
    ovey
    ousomuchf
    orwhaty
    oudi
    d
    f
    orme.”
    Linasighedatthefeel
    ingshealwaysgotf r
    om
    thischil
    d,i
    twasaf eel
    ingshehadnev erfel
    t
    before,shemostlyfel
    tli
    keamot herwit
    hher
    andwonder edwhyanot herwomancoul dn’
    t
    hav eseenthebri
    ghtnessshesawi nthi
    schild.
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    Lebot
    hasmil
    edst
    eppingback.“
    Iwi
    l
    lcomeand
    seeyouaty
    ourof
    fi
    ces.”
    “
    Ok,
    wewi
    l
    ltal
    k.”
    Li
    nawalkedoutandgoti
    nhercar
    .Shewiped
    awayatearwhichhadr
    andownhercheekand
    cal
    ledLonas.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Lonas,Iam st
    ill
    wait
    ingf
    ort
    hatfar
    m.Tell
    your
    mot hertohanditov
    erorIwi
    l
    lfi
    ghtherf
    orit
    .
    That’snotherfarm.
    ”
    “
    Linay
    oukeept
    aki
    ngev
    ery
    thi
    ng-
    “
    “
    Becausei
    t’
    smi
    ne.Keepmaki
    ngTendai
    rai
    sea
    chi
    l
    dthati
    snothi
    sandgi
    vememyf
    arm!
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    ltal
    ktoher
    .”
    “
    Iam gi
    vi
    ngtil
    ltomorroworelseyouaregoing
    t
    oseemei ncourtandLonas,Ineverl
    osether
    e.
    Wenalemmagol antl
    waela.
    ”
    Shehunganddr ov
    eof f
    .Feeli
    ngt oolazyto
    cook,shepassedbyNandosandgotsomet hi
    ng
    toeat.Atthepar ki
    nglot,sheunlockedhercar
    j
    ustast hecarbesi deshersbeeped.Amani na
    sui
    twal kedov erandopenedhi sdoor ,
    real
    izi
    ng
    shewasst ar
    ingLinalookedawayandopened
    herdoor .
    Themaingoti
    nhiscarr
    oll
    ingdownhi
    s
    windowsandl
    ookedatLi
    na.
    “
    Wampat
    lanemma?(
    Doy
    ouwantme?
    )”
    Li
    nalughedembar
    rassed.“
    Wacl
    aimat
    le!I
    don’
    twantyou.
    ”
    “
    Wampt
    la.Takemet
    lhemma…”
    “
    Idon’
    twanty
    ou.
    ”
    Helaughed.“
    Ok.Iwast
    ryi
    ngt
    ohel
    pyoubut
    youref
    used.”
    “
    Youar
    eful
    lofy
    our
    sel
    f.
    ”
    Hesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Aker
    ewampat
    la…”
    “Mxm…”Shecl
    osedherdoorst
    aringathi
    s
    handsomef
    aceandstar
    tedhercar.
    Hestretchedhandingherov
    erthebusiness
    car
    d,Linar ol
    l
    eddownherwi ndowallt
    heway
    andstretchedtaki
    ngit
    .Shelookedathisname
    andsmi l
    ed.
    “
    Bye,
    Tan…”

    *
    **

    Att
    hepart
    y,Abel
    ookedatthet
    imewonderi
    ng
    j
    ustwher
    eshewasnow, hewaspr
    ett
    ysureshe
    wasdoneatwor k.Hedi al
    edhernumberjustas
    hercardroveinthenhesighedwit
    hreli
    ef,he
    l
    ookedatherspeaki ngonthephoneinsi
    deher
    carthenrushedinsi
    dethehouseprepari
    nga
    bathforher.Hi
    sphoner ang.
    “
    Yeah?
    ”
    “
    Abe,
    canwet
    alk?
    ”
    “Thabi
    leIt
    oldy
    outost
    opcal
    l
    ingme.Iwant
    nothi
    ngtodowithy
    ou.
    ”
    “Iknowyouhatemef orsendingthatvideoto
    Eazionyourweddingdaybutt hatdoesn’tmean
    youshouldabandony ourki
    ds.Shestil
    lmar r
    ied
    youregar
    dlessknowingthatyoucheatonher .
    ”
    “Itol
    dy outoabortandyourefused,don’
    tmake
    thatchil
    dmypr oblem.Youtakecareofitsi
    nce
    youwant edit
    .Thisti
    mearoundi fyoutry
    i
    nv ol
    vingmywi f
    eIam goingtoki l
    lyou,I
    promisey out
    hat.”
    “
    Inev
    erknewy
    oucoul
    dbet
    hisman.
    ”
    “
    Youdon’
    tknowany
    thi
    ng.
    ”

    *
    **

    Ist
    eppedoutofmycarwr appi
    ngupthecal
    l
    andwalkedtowardsev
    ery
    oneinmyheels.
    Ontl
    amestismil
    edandwalkedover
    .
    “
    Hey
    …”
    Ismi
    led.“Ont
    lamet
    si,
    Idi
    dn’
    tthi
    nky
    oucoul
    d
    makeit.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sy
    ourbi
    rt
    hday
    ,ofcauseIwoul
    dcome.
    ”
    “Itol
    dAbeIdidn’
    twantapar
    tybutIguesshe
    didn’
    tli
    stent
    ome.”
    Tino’
    scardroveinthenhesteppedoutwitha
    femalecompanion.Icar
    eful
    l
    yl ookedatt
    he
    color
    edladyandlookedaway .
    “
    Letmegoandchange.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Igreet
    edaf ewpeopl
    eandwalkedt
    omy
    bedroom whereAbewassi
    tt
    ingonthebed.
    “
    Iam sor
    ryIam l
    ate,
    themeet
    ingt
    ookf
    orev
    er.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    eher
    enow.
    ”
    Hest oodupandki
    ssedmeunzippi
    ngmyskirt
    whileItookof
    fmyshoes.Hel
    etitpoolt
    omy
    feetandputhi
    shandinsi
    demypanty.Ist
    epped
    back.
    “
    Ther
    ear
    epeopl
    eout
    side.
    ”
    Abesighed.“
    Younev
    err
    unoutofexcusesdo
    you?
    ”
    “
    Whatar
    eyousay
    ing?
    ”
    “Wehav en’thadsexint
    wof ul
    lmonths,
    Ihave
    needstooEazi butyouseem t
    oalwayshavean
    excuseev erysi
    ngl
    eday.”
    Hewal
    kedoutslammingt
    hedoorbehi
    ndhi
    m
    whi
    l
    eguil
    tyconsumedme.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #44

    Ir
    eachedf
    ormyphoneanddi
    aledmyt
    her
    api
    st.
    “
    Eazi
    …”
    Tearsfi
    ll
    edmyeyes.“
    Ever
    ydaykeepsget
    ti
    ng
    hardforme,
    Ifeel
    li
    keIam goi
    ngtolosemy
    husband.
    ”
    “
    Takeadeepbr
    eat
    hin….whathappened?
    ”
    “Ican’
    tsl
    eepwit
    hhim becauseev eryti
    mehe
    getsontopofme,Ican’thel
    pbutt othi
    nkabout
    Thabil
    e.Hedi
    dtheverysamet hingtoherthat
    hedoestome,Idon’tenjoyoursexany mor
    e.I
    f
    eelli
    kether
    eissomet
    hingbl
    ocki
    ngmef r
    om
    f
    ull
    yenjoyi
    ngmymarri
    age.MaybeIshoul
    dhav
    e
    wai
    ted…”
    “Nothi
    ngisbl
    ockingany
    thi
    ng,
    youar
    etheone
    blocki
    ngever
    ythi
    ng.”
    “Il
    ov eAbedi l
    esomuch, Imar ri
    edhim despite
    him cheati
    ngonmewhenIneededhi mt he
    most ,Ifor
    gav ehimformaki ngmef eelstupid
    whilehewasoutcheat i
    ngwi thhisexbecauseI
    l
    ov ethatman.Hemakeshappy .ButIcan’t
    enjoymymar r
    iage,
    myhear tishurti
    ngandI
    can’tstopit.Iam nothappy.I’
    dr at
    herbeat
    wor kthancomet ohim,notthatIhatehim butI
    j
    ust …hehur tme.Hehur tmesomuch.Hehasa
    chil
    dwi ththatwoman, hethinksIdon’tknow
    andhekeepsl y i
    ngtome,hei sneverhonest.”
    “
    Hav
    eyout
    oldhi
    m howy
    ouf
    eel
    ?”
    “
    Ngng…”
    “
    Thenhei
    snev
    ergoi
    ngt
    oknowandy
    ouwi
    l
    l
    keephur
    ti
    ngf
    rom i
    nsi
    det
    il
    lyoust
    arthat
    ing
    him.
    ”
    “
    Somet
    imesIt
    hinkmay
    beweshoul
    ddi
    vor
    ce.
    ”
    “
    Ist
    hatwhaty
    our
    eal
    l
    ywant
    ?”
    “
    No.
    ”
    “Thensithim downandt el
    lhim howy oufeel.
    Wheny ouf eelyouwantout,besure,Idon’t
    wantyoumaki ngdeci
    sionsemot i
    onal.Thi
    nk
    abouti
    t,evaluateyourdeci
    sionandseei fthat’
    s
    whatyour eall
    ywant.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Howar
    etheni
    ght
    mar
    es?
    ”
    “
    Somet
    imesIseeherbutnotev
    ery
    day
    .”
    “Ok,Iam gl
    adyoucal
    l
    edme,
    Iam al
    way
    sa
    phonecallaway.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Ihungupandwal
    kedt
    othebat
    hroom wher
    ehe
    hadpreparedabathforme.Iwal
    kedbackt
    o
    thebedroom andsatonthebedwri
    ti
    ngahi
    ma
    message.

    *
    **

    Outside,Abelaughedwithhi
    sbrother
    sstandi
    ng
    wit
    ht heirf
    ri
    endswhi l
    ebraai
    ng.Tendail
    ooked
    atTino’scolor
    edgirl
    fr
    iend.
    “
    Shei
    sbeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    “
    Iknow.
    ”
    Abelookedather
    .“Shei
    s,wher
    edi
    dyouf
    ind
    her
    ?”
    “
    Theyar
    ether
    eify
    our
    eal
    l
    ylook.
    ”
    Theylaughed.“Tell
    thatt
    oTendai
    ,howdoy ou
    gofrom thebigsist
    ertothey
    oungersi
    ster
    ?”
    Ti
    noshookhi
    shead.“
    Iwon’
    tev
    encommenton
    t
    hat
    ,atl
    eastshegav
    eyouachi
    l
    d.”
    Abesippedhisdri
    nk.“Thoughhelooksnothi
    ng
    l
    ikey
    ou.I t
    ’sact
    uall
    ythefir
    stti
    meseei ngachi
    ld
    whotakessomuchaf t
    erhismother.Hedoesn’
    t
    l
    ookli
    key ourchi
    ld.
    ”
    Tendaismil
    ed.“
    Iknow,wehav
    ebeent
    alki
    ng
    abouthavi
    nganotherone.
    ”
    “
    AndIhavebeent
    hinki
    ngwegoi
    ntobusi
    ness
    t
    oget
    her.
    ”
    Bothbrother
    slookedatAbewai
    ti
    ngf
    orhi
    mto
    fi
    nish.Abe’
    sphonev i
    brat
    edt
    henhet
    ooki
    tout
    andopenedamessage.
    Babe: Iknowt hi
    ngshav enotbeenokl ately,and
    Iam sor rythatyouaresexuall
    ystarv
    ingbutI
    am hur ti
    ng.Ican’tseem tobewithyouwi thout
    thinki
    ngabouty ourot herwoman.Itbothersme
    somuchandkeepshur ti
    ngmeeachandev ery
    singleday ,Idon’tevenenjoysexanymor e,i
    t
    hast urnedintosomebor i
    ngacti
    vi
    tyIhav eto
    do.Ican’
    tenj oymymar riagebecauseI
    constant
    lythinkaboutherandwonderi freall
    yI
    am enoughf oryou.Thismar ri
    agehasturned
    i
    nt osomethingelseformeandIam nothappy .
    IloveyoubutIam nothappy .Idon’
    tknowwhat
    Ishoulddoorwhatweshoul ddo.Idon’twant
    toleavebutbeingwithy ouishurti
    ngme.Iknow
    shehasachi ld.
    Het ookadeepbr eat
    handputhisphoneishis
    pocket.Helookedatthedoorandwatchedher
    talki
    ngwithhersist
    ernowinadressandf l
    at
    shoes.Sheturnedtohimthenthei
    reyeslocked,
    slowlyshesmiledandwaved.
    “
    Yougood?
    ”
    Abel ookedatTendait
    henatTinowhowas
    tal
    kingtohisgir
    lf
    ri
    end.“It
    hinkshewant
    sa
    div
    or ce.
    ”
    “
    Who?
    ”
    “
    Eazi
    …”
    “
    Becausey
    oucheat
    ?”
    “
    Yeah.Shesay
    sshei
    snothappy
    .”
    “
    Ist
    il
    lthi
    nkyougotmarr
    iedt
    oosoon.May
    be
    y
    oushouldhavewai
    ted.
    ”
    “
    Idon’tknowbutwhatIknowi st hatIdon’t
    r
    egretmar r
    yingher.Il
    oveherandt hat’
    swhyI
    marri
    edher.Thatv i
    deo…whenThabi l
    esentit
    ,
    t
    hisisexactlywhatshewant edtohappen.Ican
    f
    eelthedistancebetweenusev eryni ght
    .With
    Malcol
    m notar ound,i
    tfeel
    swor se.”
    “
    Doy
    ouwantt
    olethergo?
    ”
    Abeshookhi shead.“No…IloveEazi
    .Ican’t
    bel
    ieveonlyonenighthasledtoal
    lthis…Iam
    abouttolosemyf amil
    yanditwasnotev en
    worthit
    .Sheisgoingtomov eon,sheis
    beauti
    ful
    ,someonewi ll
    getherandtreather
    ri
    ght.
    ”
    “Takeheroutf
    oravacati
    on,awayf
    rom
    every
    thi
    nganddeal
    wi t
    hit.
    ”
    Abet
    urnedt
    oherbutt
    hist
    imeshewasn’
    t
    l
    ooki
    ng.

    *
    **

    Ont
    lamet
    sismi
    l
    edsadl
    yst
    ari
    ngatme.
    “
    Hej
    ustl
    osti
    nter
    est
    .”
    “
    Soi
    t’
    sov
    er?
    ”
    “
    Itwasov
    erbef
    orei
    tev
    enst
    art
    ed.AndIr
    eal
    l
    y
    l
    i
    kedTan.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok.Ir
    egr
    ett
    hatdaymor
    ethanany
    thi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Youshoul
    dn’
    t,
    yesy
    ouwer
    ehar
    shbuty
    ou
    wer
    eri
    ght.
    ”
    Ont
    lsmet
    sil
    aughed.“
    WasI
    ?”
    “
    Yes.Ihadt
    oheari
    t.
    ”
    “
    Hubbyi scomi
    ng…Noof f
    enseandnoi
    ntended
    i
    ntent
    ionsbuty
    ourhusbandishot
    ,”
    IturnedandlookedatAbewal kover
    ,hiscap
    turnedbackward.Therewasalwayssomet hi
    ng
    abouthowhewal kedorj
    usthowhel ookedat
    me.Ismi l
    edashel eanedoverandkissedme.
    “
    CanIst
    eal
    herf
    orasecond?
    ”
    Ontl
    ametsinoddedt
    henIstoodup.Het
    ookmy
    handandledmet ohi
    scar.
    “
    Abe,
    wecan’
    tleav
    eourguest
    s.”
    “
    Theywi
    l
    lbef
    ine.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sr
    ude.
    ”
    Heopenedt
    hedoorf
    orme.“
    Theywi
    l
    lbef
    ine.
    ”
    Igotinthenhewalkedroundandjumpedi n.He
    start
    edthecaranddroveoff.Awhil
    elat
    erhe
    parkedthecaratGaboronedam andwebot h
    l
    ookedatt hesunsett
    ingsit
    ti
    nginthecar.He
    roll
    eddownallwindowsandsmi l
    edstari
    ngat
    memaki
    ngmebl
    ush.
    “Idon’twantyoutostaywhereyouar enot
    happy .Ifyouwantadiv
    orceIwon’tfi
    ghtit
    .I
    haveputy out
    hroughsomuchIhav enor i
    ght
    deny i
    ngy ouwhatyouwant.Il
    ovey ouandI
    wishIcangobacki nt
    imeandnotmaket he
    decisionsImadebecausetodaythose
    decisionsaredestr
    oyi
    ngmyf amil
    y.”
    Il
    ookeddownsi
    l
    ent
    lyt
    henhet
    il
    tedmychi
    nand
    ki
    ssedme.
    “Noamountofwor dscant akebackwhatIdi d,I
    messedupbabe.Imessedupbi gt i
    me.Ihur t
    you,Ihurtanddi sappoint
    edy ou.AllIam asking
    foristogi vemeachancet ofixus.Iam not
    readyt ol
    osey ouoroursonbecauseIdon’ tsee
    anyf utur
    ewi thoutyou.Iwantust ofixthings,I
    am readyt odoany thi
    ngandImeani t
    .May be
    i
    t’smypr esencet hatmakei thardforyout o
    forgi
    v eme, ifyouwantmet omov eout,Iwi l
    l
    mov eout .Iwantust oworkonourmar r
    iage.I
    don’twanti ttoendbef oreithasev enst arted.”
    Hehel dmyhands.“ IloveyouEazi .Idon’t
    deser v
    ey oubabe.Youar emor et hanenoughi n
    everysenseandIf ai
    ledt olovey ouri
    ght ,but
    pleasegi vemeachancet oprovemy self.To
    showy out hatIcanbet hatman.Iam sor ryfor
    l
    yingt oy ou, forkeepingsecr ets.Iwasj ust
    scaredt hati twoul dmaket hesituati
    onmor e
    wor se.Iam scar ed.”
    Tearsroll
    eddownmycheeks.It ookadeep
    breat
    ht r
    yingt
    oholditbutitseemedasifIhad
    openedat apoft
    ears.Iputmyhandsov ermy
    facecryi
    ng.Abepul
    ledmei nhisarmslett
    ing
    mesi tonhisl
    apcryi
    ngonhi schest
    .
    Awhilel
    aterIkeptqui
    etbreathingheavi
    lywith
    hi
    ccups.Hehandedmeabot tleofwater.I
    dr
    ankitallandsi
    ghedlookinginhisreddish
    ey
    es.
    “
    Iwasthinki
    ngmaybewecangoonavacat
    ion.
    I
    fyouareokwit
    hit
    .Maybeaft
    ert
    haty
    oumay
    makeadeci
    sion.
    ”
    Inodded.“
    That
    ’sf
    ine.
    ”
    “
    Youhavenev
    erbeent
    oourf
    arm.Iwantt
    otake
    y
    outher
    e.”
    “
    InZi
    m?”
    “
    Yes.Wecanspendacoupl
    eofday
    sther
    e.”
    “
    Ok…”
    Hepul
    l
    edmef
    oraki
    ss.“
    Ilov
    eyou.Wewi
    l
    lgo
    t
    omorr
    ow.
    ”
    “
    Arewedr
    ivi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    No,wewi
    l
    lfl
    ythendr
    ivef
    rom t
    her
    etot
    he
    f
    arm.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Heopenedthedoorandsteppedoutwi
    thme.
    Hetookmyhandandwal kedwithmetothe
    wat
    er.Ichuckl
    ed.
    “
    Aft
    eral
    lthey
    ear
    sIhav
    ebeeni
    nGabor
    one,
    I
    hadnev
    erbeenher
    e.”
    Hestoodbehi
    ndmehuggi
    ngmeki
    ssi
    ngmy
    neck.
    “
    Didy
    ougeti
    t?”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Yes.Youwer
    eri
    ght
    .”
    “Iam proudofyou.Anayaisgoingtoseeshe
    didn’
    tmakeami st
    ake.Iam t
    hinki
    ngofgoing
    i
    nt oRealEst
    ate.
    ”
    It
    urnedandl
    ookedathi
    m.“
    Buy
    ingandsel
    l
    ing?
    ”
    “
    No…bui
    ldingandr
    ent
    ing.Housesf
    orr
    ent
    al.
    May
    befl
    ats.”
    Inodded.“
    Thatisver
    yexpensi
    vebutt
    he
    rev
    enueisworthit
    .”
    “Yes,
    Iam thi
    nki
    ngwecant
    eam upwi
    thTendai
    andTino.
    ”
    “
    That
    ’sagr
    eati
    dea.
    ”
    “
    Iknow.Ther
    eissomet
    hingel
    seIneedt
    otel
    l
    y
    ou.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Myl
    egi
    sfi
    nenow.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    egoi
    ngbacki
    nsi
    det
    hef
    iel
    d?”
    “No,Iwanttoreti
    re.Thet eam convi
    ncedmeto
    playonelastseasonbutbecauseIhav ea
    famil
    ynowandbusi nesses,Iagreedtoonel
    ast
    game.”
    “
    That
    ’sok.Iam sur
    etheymi
    ssy
    ou.
    ”
    “Theydo.
    ”Hesmil
    ed.“
    Imi
    ssedhav
    ingsucha
    conver
    sati
    onwi
    thyou.
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    edandnodded.

    *
    **

    Kopo’shear
    tpoundedwhi
    l
    ethenur
    sel
    ookedat
    heratthehospi
    tal
    .
    “Youshouldknowt hatbeingpositi
    vedoesn’ t
    meani t
    ’stheendoft heworld.AlotofHI V
    posit
    ivepeoplearealiv
    eanddoi ngwel l.I
    t’
    s
    mentali
    tywhichkil
    lspeople.Ifyouliv
    eaheal th
    l
    ife,
    youwi l
    lsee,noonewi ll
    ev enknowy ouare
    HIVtil
    lyouactuall
    ysayi t
    .Youwi l
    lbef armore
    healt
    hthanthatpersonwhodoesn’ thav ei
    t.
    ”
    Kopotookadeepbr
    eat
    handnodded.She
    coul
    dn’
    tseem t
    ocal
    m down.
    “
    Good,
    Iam goi
    ngt
    oopen.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Thenur
    setookofthelidandKopoleanedov
    er
    andl
    ooked.Tear
    sf i
    ll
    edhereyest
    henshe
    l
    ookedbackatnurse.
    “
    Whatdoesi
    tsay
    ?”
    “
    Iam posi
    ti
    ve.
    ”
    “
    Kopo,
    rememberwhatIsai
    d…”
    Kopoputherhandsonherf
    acecr
    ying.
    “
    Hegav
    eitt
    ome.Ihav
    etot
    ell
    Bina.
    ”

    *
    **

    GinalookedatMy
    kel
    ashewal
    kedi
    nsi
    deher
    house.
    “
    Howcoul
    dyougetmar
    ri
    edbehi
    ndmyback?
    ”
    “Si
    ncewhendoy oucomet
    omyhouse
    unannounced?
    ”
    “
    Yougav
    emet
    hekey
    sforar
    eason!
    ”
    “
    Ok,Idid.ButnowIwantmykey
    sback.Iam
    mar
    ried.”
    “
    Andyoudidn’
    tthi
    nkt
    otel
    lme?Ican’
    tbel
    iev
    e
    y
    oucheat
    edonmeandev engotmarr
    ied.
    ”
    “YouandIwer eneveri
    narelat
    ionshi
    p.Itwas
    onlysex.Idi
    dn’toweyouanyfait
    hful
    ness.”
    “
    Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evet
    his.
    ”
    “
    Giv
    ememyhousekey
    s.Iwon’
    lety
    oudest
    roy
    mymar
    ri
    age.
    ”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #45

    Thabil
    elookedatherdaught
    er,shelookedso
    muchl i
    keherfat
    hershewonder edwhyAbe
    woulddenyher.Didhepossi
    blylovehiswif
    e
    thatmuch?Herphoner angt
    henshest oodup
    answeri
    ng.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Fr
    iend,wear
    egoi
    ngoutt
    oni
    ght
    ,wanna
    come? ”
    “
    Idon’
    thav
    eany
    onet
    oleav
    eAshl
    eywi
    th.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    eisy
    ourmom?
    ”
    “
    Shewon’
    tlookaf
    terher
    .”
    “
    Guesswho’
    sar
    ound?
    ”
    “
    Who?
    ”
    “
    DjOB!
    ”
    Thabi
    l
    elaughed.“
    Youl
    i
    e!”
    “
    Iam t
    ell
    i
    ngy
    ou.I
    t’
    sapr
    ivat
    epar
    tyt
    oo.
    ”
    “
    Eishmma,Idon’
    tknowwhot
    oleav
    eAshwi
    th,
    I
    wantt
    ocome.”
    “
    Can’
    tyougetamai
    d?”
    “
    Idon’
    thav
    eone.
    ”
    “Shecanremainal
    one,
    shei
    sjustababy
    .
    Babiessl
    eep.
    ”
    Thabi
    lechuckl
    ed.“
    Ican’
    tleav
    eheral
    one.She
    mightwakeup.”
    “
    Justl
    ookf
    orsomeoneonf
    acebookt
    hen.
    ”
    “
    Yeah,
    ok,
    letmedot
    hat
    .”
    “Shar
    p.Tel
    lmewheny
    ouhav
    efound
    someone.”
    Shehungupt henpostedonaf acebookgroup
    l
    eav i
    ngherdial
    sbehi
    nd.Shel ookedatherbaby
    thought
    ful
    lyforawhil
    e,shecoul djustdr
    opher
    offatAbe’
    shouse.Shepr eparedfortheparty
    anddidhermakeup.Herphoner angasshe
    packedAshley’
    sbag.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi ma,
    Isawyournumberonf
    acebook,
    didy
    ou
    f
    indababysi
    tt
    er?
    ”
    “
    No,
    noty
    et.
    ”
    “
    Icanbabysi
    t.
    ”
    Thabi
    l
    esmi
    l
    ed.“
    Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Ist
    ayi
    nBl
    ock8.Icancomet
    oyourhouse.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    howsooncany
    oucome?
    ”
    “
    Now.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    come.Cal
    lmewheny
    ouar
    eatChoppi
    es.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Theladyhungupt henThabiletextedherfr
    iend.
    Awhi l
    elater
    ,shespokeont hephonedi r
    ecting
    thel
    adyt oherhousewhilestandingoutsi
    de.A
    carparkedatthegatethentheladysteppedout
    asthecardroveoff.Thabi
    leopenedt hegate
    andsighed.
    “
    Hi,
    ”
    Theyoungl
    adysmi
    l
    ed,
    shel
    ookedgood.“
    Good
    eveni
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    comei
    nandmeetmydaught
    er.
    ”
    Theybothwalkedinsi
    dethehouse.“
    Thatismy
    daughter
    ,Ashl
    ey,Iwasabouttogowithhert
    o
    herfat
    her’
    shouse.”
    “
    Ok.Ihav
    eexper
    iencei
    nbabysi
    tt
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Good.Iwill
    bebacktonight.Ther
    eisfoodi
    n
    t
    hefri
    dge,hermi
    lki
    st here,
    doy ouknowhowto
    makemilk?”
    “
    Yesmam.
    ”
    “Good.Thenherdiaper
    sarealsoi nherr
    oom.
    Every
    thingsheneedsisint
    hatr oom.Evenher
    medicinebutshedoesn’
    tgetsicknormally
    .She
    doesn’tcr
    ytoo.”
    “
    Okmam.
    ”
    “
    Whatelse…whatel
    se.
    .uht
    hat
    ’sal
    l
    .Don’
    topen
    f
    orany
    one.”
    “
    Ofcausemam.
    ”
    Acarhootedatt
    hegate.Shepi
    ckedherpurse
    andhandedhert
    heP200.“That
    ’syour
    s.I
    fy ou
    takegoodcar
    eofherImighthi
    reyouful
    lti
    me.”
    Theladysmi
    l
    ed.“
    Thanky
    oumam.Iwi
    l
    lkeep
    hersafe.
    ”
    “
    Good.By
    e.”
    “
    Hav
    easaf
    eni
    ght
    .”
    Thabi
    ler
    ushedoutandgotatthebackseat
    whil
    ehergat
    eclosed.Herf
    ri
    endsmiled.
    “
    OBi
    sint
    hehouse!
    ”
    “
    Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evet
    his…”
    Thef
    ri
    endl
    aughed.“
    Bel
    i
    evei
    tgi
    rl
    !”

    Onthesamenight
    ,Gi
    na’
    sphoner
    angasshel
    ay
    onherbedcr
    ying.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hey
    ,it
    ’sme.
    ”
    Shecl
    ear
    edhert
    hroat
    .“Taku…”
    “
    Iam passi
    ngby
    ,Abewant
    sthekeyt
    othe
    f
    arm.
    ”
    “
    Hei
    sgoi
    ngt
    her
    e?”
    “Yes.Tomorr
    ow.Iwantt ogi
    vehi
    mt hespar
    e
    keystothegates.Ihav
    easkedpeoplet
    ogo
    andcl
    ean.Butwhent
    heyl
    eav
    etheywi
    l
    lbe
    l
    ocki
    ngthegates.
    ”
    “
    Yes.Iam home.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    lbet
    her
    einacoupl
    eofmi
    nut
    es.
    ”
    Hehungup.Shewentt oherbat
    hroom and
    washedherf acethenf i
    xedit
    .Herphone
    vibr
    atedthenshet ookthekeysandwal kedout
    withthem.Shewal kedoutopeningthegate
    thenTakuwal kedin.Helookedmuchbet ter
    ,
    mat t
    eroffact,hel
    ookedl i
    ketherealTakushe
    knewwi t
    hacl eanhaircut.
    “Thankyou.Iam j
    ustgoi
    ngt
    odr
    opt
    hem of
    fat
    hishouse.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Shelookedathi
    scarcat
    chi
    ngaf
    emal
    efi
    gur
    e
    i
    nside.“
    Who’sthat
    ?”
    “
    Oh,
    myf
    ri
    end.Seey
    ou.
    ”
    Hewal
    kedbackt
    ohi
    scarwhi
    l
    eshel
    ookedat
    thewomani nhiscar.Herheartpoundedmor e
    ashedroveof fl
    ett
    inghercatchaglimpseof
    thewoman.Shesl owlywalkedbackinsi
    deher
    houseandsatdownwi thweakknees.She
    hadn’
    texpectedhimt orepl
    aceher.Andhe
    l
    ookedgoodt oo.Shet ookherphonetocallhim
    butsheplaceditdownbl i
    nki
    ngawayhert ears.
    Hehadreplacedher .

    *
    **

    Eazi
    ’
    smot
    hert
    uckedi
    nMal
    col
    m.
    “
    Sleepnow.
    ”
    “
    Arewegoi
    ngt
    ogett
    hoset
    hingsagai
    n
    t
    omorr
    ow?”
    Shesi
    ghed.“
    YesMal
    col
    m.Youshoul
    dsl
    eep.
    ”
    “
    ButIam nott
    ir
    ed.I
    t’
    sFri
    day
    ,daddylet
    ’sme
    wat
    chTvandplaywithhi
    m.Iwanttowatch
    TV.
    ”
    “
    No,
    youar
    enotwat
    chi
    ngTV.MyTvi
    sti
    red.
    ”
    “
    Nogr
    anny
    ,theTVdoesn’
    tgett
    ir
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Mineget
    ’st
    ir
    ed.Sl
    eep.
    ”
    “
    Yourhai
    riswhi
    te.
    ”
    “
    BecauseIam ol
    d.”
    “
    Iknow,
    youcan’
    trunany
    mor
    e.”
    Shesighedwonder
    ingjustwhyhewoul
    dn’
    t
    keepquiet
    .“Ok,
    nowsleep.”
    “
    Iwantt
    ospeakt
    odaddyf
    ir
    st.
    ”
    “
    Mal
    col
    mrobal
    a!”
    “
    No,Iwantt
    osaygoodni
    ghtt
    omydadand
    mom f
    ir
    st.
    ”
    “Ei
    shmodi monthuse,
    ngwanawagaEazi
    ke
    mat hat
    a.(Godhel
    pme, Eazi
    ’
    schi
    l
    disa
    problem.”
    “
    Yousai
    dmommy
    ’sname.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lyourmot
    her
    .”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hej
    umpeddownt hebedasshegotherphone
    f
    rom herbr
    aandcal
    ledEazi
    .
    “
    Mama?
    ”
    “Mma,ngwanawagagooganagor
    obal
    a.(
    Your
    chi
    l
    disrefusi
    ngt
    osleep.
    )”
    “
    Letmespeakt
    ohi
    m.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Shegav
    ehi mthephoneonloudspeaker.
    “Mama,youwon’tbel
    iev
    ewhatIsawt oday!I
    sawahugecow.I twassohuge!
    ”
    “
    That
    ’swonder
    ful
    .”
    “
    Ial
    sost
    art
    edaf
    ir
    e.”
    “
    That
    ’sgr
    eat
    .”
    “
    Iwantt
    ospeakt
    odaddy
    …”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Champ!
    ”
    “
    Daddy
    !Ohman,
    it’
    sawesomeher
    e.”
    “
    Yeah?
    ”
    “
    Ther
    eisawhol
    eri
    verwi
    thwat
    er.
    ”
    “
    Wow,
    that
    ’sext
    ra.
    ”
    “
    Iknow.Andt
    her
    ear
    ecows.Lot
    s!”
    “
    Didy
    out
    ouchone?
    ”
    “
    Nah,
    Iwasscar
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Touchi
    ttomor
    row.
    ”
    “
    Abest
    opt
    ell
    i
    nghi
    mthat
    .”
    “
    Whynot
    ?Ar
    eal
    mani
    sn’
    tscar
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Itwi
    l
    lki
    ckhi
    m.”
    “Youarej
    ustscar
    edbabe,
    itwon’
    tdonot
    hingt
    o
    him.”
    “
    Abeno.St
    opt
    ell
    i
    nghi
    mthat
    ,youknowhow
    Mal
    cis.
    ”
    “
    OkMal
    c,don’
    ttouchi
    t.
    ”
    “
    Mamadi
    dyoueatacake?
    ”
    “
    YesMal
    c,Idi
    d.Il
    eftf
    ory
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Ican’
    twai
    ttocomeback.
    ”
    “
    Okchamp,
    nowt
    imet
    osl
    eep.
    ”
    “
    ButIam notsl
    eepy
    .”
    “
    Youneedt
    osl
    eep.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Goodni
    ght
    ,Il
    ovey
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oodad.
    ”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    ThecalldroppedthenMal
    cgavei tbacktohis
    grandmother.“Ok,y
    ouwon,Iam sleepi
    ng.”
    “
    Good.
    ”

    *
    **
    Thef oll
    owingmor ning,Kopolookedather
    testingcar dstar
    ingatherr esul
    ts.Shehadn’
    t
    sleptawi nkandall shehadbeendoi ngwas
    thinking.Itwasobv iousthathersist
    erwas
    cheat ingbecauset herewasnowayot herway
    toexpl an.
    Shet
    ookherphoneandcal
    l
    edMoemedi
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Canwet
    alk?
    ”
    “
    Itol
    dyounott
    ocal
    lme,
    Iam wi
    thmywi
    fe!
    ”
    “
    It
    ’si
    mpor
    tant
    .”
    “
    Whati
    sit
    ?”
    “
    Iwentt
    othehospi
    tal
    .Iam posi
    ti
    ve.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    edi
    dyougeti
    t?”
    “Whatdoyoumeanwher
    edi
    dIgeti
    t?Ihav
    e
    beensl
    eepi
    ngwit
    honl
    yyou.
    ”
    “
    Mywi
    feandIar
    efi
    ne.
    ”
    “
    Youneedt
    otest
    .”
    “Wearenott
    est
    ingbecausewear
    efi
    ne.Don’
    t
    evercal
    lme.
    ”
    Hehungupandshel
    ookedatherphonet
    henat
    herpi
    l
    ls.

    *
    **

    AtThabi l
    e’
    shouse,acardroppedherbyt he
    gatethensteppedoutlaughing.Shewavedat
    herfr
    iendwal ki
    nginsi
    deherhouse.Withasigh
    shewal kedtoherdaughter
    ’sroom andpeaked
    i
    nside.Therewasnoone.Shewal kedout.
    “
    Ashl
    ey!
    ”
    Shewal
    kedaroundtheent
    ir
    ehousebutthere
    wasnoone.Shesatonherbedandcal
    ledthe
    l
    adybutt
    hephonewasn’tgoi
    ngthr
    ough
    anymore.Herhear
    tstartedpoundi
    ngasshe
    tr
    iedthenumberagainandagainthenwal
    ked
    aroundthehousesearching.
    Shedi
    aledhermot
    herpani
    cki
    ng.
    “
    Thabi
    l
    e…”
    “
    Mama,
    mydaught
    eri
    smi
    ssi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Whatdoy
    oumean?
    ”
    “Il
    eftherey
    stedaywt
    hababysi
    tt
    erandt
    hey
    arebothnothere.
    ”
    “
    Youhav
    eababysi
    tt
    er?
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    Ifoundheronf
    acebookl
    astni
    ght
    .”
    “
    Thabi
    l
    e!What
    ’shername?
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tknow,
    Inev
    erasked.
    ”
    “
    Godhelpus…y oudon’
    tknowt hi
    sper
    sonyet
    y
    oubroughtherinsi
    deyourhouse?Wher
    ewere
    y
    ougoing?”
    “
    Ther
    eisapar
    tyI
    -“
    “
    Thabi
    l
    e!Youlef
    tyourdaughterwit
    hast
    ranger
    f
    orapart
    yyouwantedtoattend?”
    “
    Shewasni
    ce.
    ”
    “Youar everystupid.Got othepol
    ice!Iam
    comi ngwithyourfat her.Howcouldyoujust
    l
    eav eachildalonewi t
    hast r
    anger
    ?Youdon’ t
    ev enknowhername!Godknowswhoshei s
    andwhatshedoes.Whati fsheki
    l
    lsbabiesfor
    ri
    tualsorsellthem forsex?Iheardbabiesget
    traff
    ickedtoo.Didn’tyout hi
    nkoft
    his?”
    Thabi
    l
    eputherhandov
    erhermout
    hcr
    ying.
    “
    Don’
    tev
    encr
    y!Youar
    ever
    yreckl
    ess.
    ”

    *
    **

    Abepackedourbagsi
    nthecarasIwal
    kedout
    l
    ocki
    ngbehindme.Hesmiledst
    ari
    ngatme.
    “
    Let
    ’sgo.
    ”
    Wegoti
    nthecarthenhedr
    oveoff.Awhil
    el at
    er
    wewal
    kedinsi
    detheair
    por
    tandcheckedin.I
    smi
    l
    edgett
    inginsi
    dethepl
    ane.Hesatbesides
    meandki
    ssedme.
    “
    Hey
    …ready
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Thefli
    ghtatt
    endantgaveusaf ewinst
    ructi
    ons
    thatwefol
    lowedthentheplanefi
    nall
    ytookoff.
    Withasmile,Il
    eanedbackonmyseatr elaxi
    ng.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #46

    Att
    hepol
    i
    cest
    ati
    on,
    Thabi
    l
    eexpl
    ainedher
    sel
    f
    t
    othepol
    i
    cecr
    yingwi
    thhershoesi
    nherhands.
    “
    Soyouwentt
    oapart
    yleavi
    ngy ourt
    hree
    mont
    hsol
    dbabywi
    thatotalst
    ranger?
    ”
    “
    Ithoughtshewasagoodper
    son.
    ”
    “Howdoyouthinkshei
    sagoodper sonwhen
    youdon’
    tevenknowher?Doyouknowt haty
    ou
    canbechar
    gedwi t
    hchi
    ldnegl
    igence?”
    “
    Ijustwantmydaught
    er,
    cany
    ouhel
    pme?
    ”
    Thabil
    e’
    smot herr
    ushedinsi
    dethepoli
    ce
    stat
    ionandlookedatherdaught
    erpanti
    ng.
    “What’
    sgoingon?”
    Thepoliceoff
    icerlookedather .“Wear esti
    ll
    try
    ingtogetyourdaught er’
    sstatement .I
    freal
    ly
    thechil
    dismi ssi
    ngt hensheisaasuspect
    becausethereisnowayanor mal mothercan
    l
    eav eherchi
    ldwithast rangergoingtoapar ty
    onlytocomebacki nthemor ning.Sheknows
    wherethatchildi
    sandy ouaregoi ngt
    ot el
    lus
    where.”
    “
    Iwil
    lneverki
    dnapmyownchi
    l
    d,ar
    est
    upi
    dor
    j
    ustf
    ooli
    sh?”
    “Youareeveninsul
    ti
    ngmei nmywor kpl
    ace,
    we
    arekeepi
    ngyoui ncustodyt
    il
    lwegettot
    he
    bott
    om ofthi
    sissue.”
    Thabil
    etookoutherphoneandcal
    ledAbebut
    hi
    sphonewasn’tgoingthr
    ough.Shecall
    ed
    Tasha.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Tasha,
    wher
    eisAbe?
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tknow.
    ”
    “
    Ashl
    eyi
    smi
    ssi
    ng,
    tel
    lhi
    m.”
    “Look,Ihavemyownpr obl
    ems,i
    sthatbaby
    evenAbe’s?Ormay beyouwerej
    usttr
    yingto
    l
    ookf oryourchi
    ld’
    sfat
    her?Howisi
    tthatyou
    saymyf atherr
    apedyouwhenhedidn’t
    ?You
    arealiarandIknowthatsonofy
    oursisnot
    Abe’s.
    ”
    “Don’
    tyoudar
    etal
    ktomel
    iket
    hat
    ,Iam not
    Eazi
    .DoyouknowwhoIam?”
    “
    Getaway
    !Whocar
    eswhoy
    ouar
    e?”
    Tashahungupt henThabi
    l
    elookedatt
    hepoli
    ce
    off
    icer.“
    Myf at
    heri
    sonisway.Youwil
    lexpl
    ain
    tohim whyyouwanttoarr
    estmewheny ou
    shouldbelooki
    ngformydaughter
    .”
    “
    Iwil
    lsurel
    yexpl
    aint
    hatt
    ohi
    m.Iam t
    aki
    ngy
    ou
    i
    nfori
    nterr
    ogati
    on.
    ”
    “Youshoul
    dinvest
    igat
    emyAbe’swif
    e.Iknow
    shehatesmeandmychi l
    d,maybeshesent
    thatl
    adytoki
    dnapmydaughter
    .”
    “
    Wewi
    l
    llooki
    ntoi
    t,comewi
    thme.
    ”

    *
    **

    Bored,
    Linaputawaythefil
    esshewaslooki
    ng
    atandtookherphonethought
    ful
    ly
    .Shestood
    upandsearchedforTan’
    scardt
    hencal
    ledhi
    m.
    Hisphonerangforawhil
    ethenhef
    inal
    l
    y
    answered.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi,
    it’
    sLi
    na.Wemety
    est
    erday
    .”
    Hechuckl
    ed.“
    Ihavebeenregr
    ett
    ingnott
    aki
    ng
    yournumberi
    nst
    eadyest
    erdaytr
    yingt
    olook
    cool.
    ”
    Shel
    aughed.“
    Youshoul
    d.”
    “It
    houghtyouthr
    ewitaway.Iwasov
    er
    confi
    dent
    .Youshouldhav
    eseenmepr ay
    ingt
    o
    Godthatyoucall
    .”
    Shel
    aughedev
    enmor
    e.“
    YourGodi
    sfai
    thf
    ul.
    ”
    “
    Goodthaty
    oucal
    l
    edmet
    hough,
    howcanhel
    p
    y
    ou?”
    “
    Iam bor
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Andy
    out
    hinkIam goodf
    orent
    ert
    ainment
    ?”
    “
    Arey
    ou?
    ”
    “Youwoul
    dnev
    erknowt
    il
    lyouact
    ual
    l
    yletme
    showyou.
    ”
    “
    Whatdoy
    ouhav einst
    ore?Iam al
    lforf
    un,
    no
    f
    eel
    i
    ngsat
    tached.
    ”
    “
    BasadibaGabor
    onelet
    sabacommi
    tment
    .
    (
    Gaboronewomenareaf
    rai
    dofcommit
    ment.
    )”
    Li
    nalaughed.“Iswear,
    that
    ’snotthecasewi
    th
    me.Iam justavoi
    dingtogethur
    tbecause
    ei
    therwayIknowIwi ll
    gethurt
    .”
    “
    Iam notl
    i
    ket
    hemeny
    ouhav
    emetbef
    oreme.
    ”
    “YoumightnotbebutIdon’
    tthi
    nkIam
    desti
    nedtobemarri
    edoranythi
    ngalongt
    hose
    l
    ines.
    ”
    “
    Why
    ?”
    “
    Idon’
    tknow,
    ifIcoul
    dIwoul
    daskGodt
    oo,
    why…”
    “
    Iam i
    nthemoodf
    oramov
    ie,
    Icancomeov
    er
    sowecanwat
    chov
    eragl
    assofwi
    ne.
    ”
    “
    Soundsgood,br
    ingsomesnacks.Iam sendi
    ng
    myhousedir
    ecti
    ons.
    ”
    “
    Great
    !”
    Linahungupt henqui cklysenthi mt he
    directi
    onsandwai tedpat ient
    lyscrolli
    ngthrough
    herphone.Shepausedcomi ngacrossAbe’ s
    newpr of
    il
    epi ctur
    ewhi chwasEazi standi
    ng
    l
    ooki ngatthewat erwi thherbackonhi m wit
    ha
    capt i
    onon‘ Cannev erloveheranyl ess…’.Li
    na
    l
    ikedt hepictureandmov edonscr olli
    ngdown
    hert i
    meline.Aknockgotherupandwal kingto
    thedoor .Sheopenedandsmi ledstaringathim
    i
    ncasual clot
    hes.
    “
    Hi…”
    “
    Comei
    n.”
    Hewalkedinwit
    hasmile.“
    Ibr
    oughtacoupleof
    movi
    es,Icoul
    dn’
    tdeci
    dewhichonetowatch.”
    “
    Shoul
    dIbr
    ingmyl
    apt
    op?
    ”
    “
    Yeah,
    andwi
    negl
    asses.
    ”
    “
    Ofcause.
    ”
    Shewenttoherbedroom wher
    eshecameback
    wit
    hthelapt
    op,sheputitdownandgotthe
    gl
    assesforthewinebef
    oreunl
    ockingher
    l
    aptopandinser
    ti
    ngtheUSBst i
    ck.
    “Yourpasswordisr
    eall
    ylong,
    tot
    hinkmi
    nei
    s
    onlyathreel
    ett
    erword.”
    “
    Wel
    l
    ,formecomeswit
    hbeingal
    awy
    er.Ther
    e
    i
    sal
    otofi
    nfor
    mati
    onhere.
    ”
    “
    Igety
    ou.
    ”
    Li
    nalookedthr
    oughthemoviest
    henfi
    nall
    y
    choseone.Tanputt
    helapt
    oponhisl
    apasLi na
    satcl
    osetohim wi
    thherey
    esonthescreen.
    “
    Whatdoy
    oudof
    oral
    i
    ving?
    ”
    “
    Irunasmal
    lbusi
    ness.
    ”
    “
    Oh,
    Isee.Ial
    sor
    unasmal
    ll
    awf
    ir
    m.”
    Tanchuckl
    ed.“
    Iseewehav
    eal
    oti
    ncommon.
    ”
    Linarol
    ledherey
    eswi
    thasmi
    l
    etur
    ningbackt
    o
    thelapt
    op.
    “
    Whohur
    tyou?
    ”
    Li
    nasighed.“Ican’
    thavekidsTan,anyman
    wouldleav
    eorgoar oundimpregnati
    ngwoman
    becauseIcan’tgi
    vehim ki
    ds.”
    “Don’tmakeusal l
    lookthesame,someofus
    don’tmind.Ihavetwokidsalr
    eadyandIam not
    planningtohaveanotherone,
    kidsar
    e
    expensive.
    ”
    “Youwil
    lsaythatnowbuti
    nthef
    utur
    eyouwi
    l
    l
    changeyourmind.”
    Tant
    urnedherf
    acearoundandki
    ssedher
    .“I
    al
    waysmeanwhatIsay.”
    Li
    nasmil
    edt
    henlayherheadonhi
    schestwi
    th
    herey
    esont
    helapt
    op.
    *
    **

    Ginasteppedoutofhercarandwal kedt owar


    ds
    thedoor.Taku’scarwast her
    eandi tmadeher
    sighinrel
    ief.Sheknockedont hedoort hen
    mi nut
    eslaterabeauti
    fulwoman, obviously
    youngerthanheropened.”
    “
    Dumeal
    ng,
    howcanIhel
    pyou?
    ”
    Gi
    naf
    rowned.“
    Whoar
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Hisgi
    rl
    fr
    iendy
    ou?
    ”
    “
    Hiswif
    e.”Gi
    napushedheroutoft
    hedoorand
    wal
    kedincal
    l
    inghi
    sname.
    “
    Taku!
    ”
    “Heisnother
    e,whatdoy ouwant
    ?Iam call
    i
    ng
    thepol
    iceandreporti
    ngy ouf
    ortr
    espassi
    ng.I
    knowyouaredivorced.”
    “Goaheadandlet
    ’sseehowthatworksoutf
    or
    you.Ther
    ecanonlybeoneMrs.TakuTafi
    ra
    andit’
    sme.Iam notgoi
    ngtofi
    ghtyou.
    ”
    Shewal
    kedtothebedroom andsatonthebed
    wai
    ti
    ngwhil
    etheotherwomancal l
    edTaku.

    *
    **

    AtRobertGabr
    iel
    MugabeI nt
    ernat
    ionalAir
    port
    ,
    Abegrabbedourbagsoutoftheairpor
    twhileI
    walkedbesi
    deshim.Aunfamili
    armanst oodin
    fr
    ontofusthenAbelaughedhugginghim.
    “
    Abe!
    ”
    “Iwasst ar
    tingt
    oworrywonder
    ingwhereyou
    are.”Abesteppedbackt
    hensmi l
    ed.“
    Meetmy
    wife,Eazi,
    babethi
    sismycousin,Cal
    vi
    n.”
    Cal
    vinsmi
    l
    edstr
    etchinghishandt
    ogr
    eetme.
    “Ni
    cemeeti
    ngy
    ou, f
    inal
    ly
    .”
    Ishookhi
    sheadwi
    thasmi
    l
    e.“
    Likewi
    se.
    ”
    Cal
    vi
    ntur
    nedbackt
    oAbe.“
    Shei
    sbeaut
    if
    ul,
    come.
    ”
    Weallwal
    kedoutsi
    detothepar
    kingl
    ottoa
    RangeRover
    .Calv
    inhandedt
    hecarkeystoAbe.
    “Ther
    eyougo.”
    “
    Youar
    eal
    i
    fesav
    er.
    ”
    “Iknowright
    ?UhsoMr s.Taf
    ir
    a,Iam bounci
    ng,
    enjoyyourst
    ayher
    e.”
    Ismi
    l
    ednoddi
    ng.“
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “Youarewel come.Mdhara, motainyowaniiy
    i,
    usaroveresemot ayangu.Pressurebhohanditi
    ?
    (Mist
    er,mycari snew,don’tcrushmycar .we
    goodright?)
    ”
    “
    Dzi
    kama.(
    Rel
    ax.
    )”
    Cal
    vinl
    aughed.“Par
    ibho.Mukadzi
    inzv
    ura!
    Haanasisi
    here?(Ok.Thi
    swomani sbeaut
    if
    ul!
    Doesn’
    tshehaveasister?
    )”
    “
    Hausi
    typey
    ake.(
    Youar
    enothert
    ype.
    )”
    “Munhuanosoft
    wamdhar a.(
    Aper
    songet
    s
    soft
    ened.
    )Iam thebesti
    nmygame.Anyway
    s,
    ever
    ythi
    ngisattheback.
    ”
    Hewal
    kedawaywhileIcur
    iousl
    ylookedathi
    m.
    “
    Lar
    engyaanong?(
    Whatwer eyousaying?
    )”
    Abel
    aughedunl
    ocki
    ngt
    hecar
    .“Not
    hing
    i
    mport
    ant.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    out
    alki
    ngaboutme?
    ”
    Heki
    ssedmeopeni
    ngt
    hecardoor
    .“No,
    geti
    n.”
    Isl
    owlygotinandandsighedfeeli
    ngsofor
    eign.
    Abeputthebagsinthecartheneasedthecar
    outoftheparki
    ngl
    otjoi
    ningtheroad.
    “
    Doy
    ouknowwher
    ewear
    egoi
    ng?
    ”
    Hechuckl
    ed.“Yeah,tr
    ustme.Iknowthispl
    ace,
    Iusedt
    ocomeher eev er
    yDecembergrowing
    up.Asaki
    dy ouadaptsof ast
    ,youl
    earnthe
    l
    anguageandstaff.
    ”
    “Idon’tt
    hinkIwil
    leverbeabl
    etounderst
    and
    thelanguage.Youguystal
    ktoofast
    .Ionl
    y
    knowMaswer azei
    .Malcevenknowsmor et
    han
    me.”
    “
    Youwi
    l
    llear
    nast
    imegoeson.
    ”
    Heconnect edhisphonetotheBluetoot
    h
    speakerandpl ay
    edasong.RingoMadl i
    ngoz
    andOliverMtukudzipl
    ayedthroughthe
    speakerswhilehedroveoutofHarareheaded
    Mashonal andWest.Exci
    tementrushedthrough
    myv ei
    nswhi leIl
    ookedoutthroughthewindow.

    *
    **

    Afteraf ewhoursofdri
    vi
    ng, Abesloweddown
    stoppingthecaratthegate.Ilookedathim as
    hest eppedoutwithabunchofkey sthen
    unlockedthehugepadlocksbef orejumping
    i
    nsidet hecaranddrvi
    ngin.Hewentoutand
    l
    ockedthegat
    esagainanddrov
    eof
    fwhi
    l
    eI
    l
    ookedatthebushonoursi
    des.
    “
    Arey
    ousur
    ether
    ear
    enowi
    l
    dani
    mal
    sher
    e?”
    “Nah,i
    t’
    ssaf
    ebutofcausey
    oucanbumpi
    ntoa
    snake.
    ”
    If
    rownedst
    ari
    ngathi
    mthenhel
    aughed.
    “
    Youaresafebabe.Myfat
    herboughtt
    hisf
    arm
    l
    ongback,
    therei
    snothi
    ng.”
    Hedr ov
    ef orawhi
    let henbeganslowingdown
    atacleari
    ng.Ahousecamei ntovi
    ewsl owl
    y.I
    suckedinadeepbr eathstar
    ingatthebeauti
    ful
    that
    chhouseov er
    lookingaclosedhugepool ,
    it
    l
    ookedl i
    kealodgeorsomet hing,
    hedr ove
    towardsthehouseinapav ementandpar ked
    thecar.
    “
    Wear
    eher
    e.”
    “
    Wow!
    ”
    Hesmi
    l
    edst
    eppi
    ngout
    .“Yeah…”
    Islowlyst
    eppedoutandl
    ookedatt
    hehouse,he
    gotourbagsandtookmyhandwhil
    eIlookedat
    thegreenlawn.
    “
    Whomai
    ntai
    nst
    hispl
    ace?
    ”
    “
    Somehi
    redpeopl
    e.”
    Abeopenedthedoorandl
    edmei
    nthewooden
    fl
    oor
    edhouse.
    “
    Yougood?
    ”
    “
    Yeah,
    it’
    ssoqui
    et.
    ”
    “
    Asi
    tshoul
    dbe.
    ”
    Heledmeupstai
    rst
    oar
    oom whi
    chl
    ookedl
    i
    ke
    ahotel
    room.
    “
    Thi
    swasmyr
    oom.
    ”
    Iwal
    kedtothewindowandl
    ookedoutst
    ari
    ng
    att
    hefl
    owingri
    ver.
    “
    Youcantakeashowerwhi
    l
    eIcheckaf
    ew
    t
    hings.
    ”
    It
    urnedt
    ohi
    m.“
    Ok.
    ”
    Hewal kedoutt henIopenedt hedoortot he
    ensui
    te.Ilookedatt heshowert henthetowels
    fol
    dedhot elstyl
    ewithasmi l
    e.Itookmyphone
    andsnappedaf ewpi ct
    ures,withnozim
    simcard,t
    hephonewasj ustasgoodasa
    cameraonl y.Iopenedthet apandwat ercame
    outfr
    om theshowerhead.Isi ghed,atleasti
    t
    waswar m.Iundr essedandputashowercapi n
    myheadt henst oodundert heshower .
    “
    Ist
    hewat
    erwar
    m?”
    Il
    ookedathi
    m andnodded.“
    Yeah.
    ”
    Heundressedthenjoinedmewhi leIt
    urned
    backgiv
    inghim back.Abest oodbehindme
    wit
    hhishandsonmymywai st.Hisdi
    ckgrew
    onmybut tt
    henhet urnedmear oundhungril
    y
    ki
    ssingmepassionf l
    owi ngfrom hismouth.I
    putmyhandsonhi sbi cepskissi
    nghim back.
    “
    Imi
    ssy
    ou…”
    Hekissedmemor epressi
    ngmeagainstt
    he
    wallthenpi
    ckedmeupl et
    ti
    ngmewr apmylegs
    aroundhim.Heloweredmesl owl
    yintohi
    s
    ragi
    nghardveineddickstari
    ngi
    ntomyeyes.
    “
    Ilov
    eyouMr
    s.Taf
    ir
    a.”
    Icl
    osedmyeyeswi
    thaf
    rownashi
    sdick
    i
    mpaledme,f
    il
    li
    ngmeupand#r
    emoved.
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe
    #46
    #r
    emov
    ed

    Hisdickgrewonmybut tthenhetur
    nedme
    aroundhungril
    ykissi
    ngmepassionfl
    owi
    ng
    fr
    om hismout h.Iputmyhandsonhisbi
    ceps
    ki
    ssinghim back.
    “
    Imi
    ssy
    ou…”
    Hekissedmemor epressi
    ngmeagai nstt
    he
    wallthenpi
    ckedmeupl et
    ti
    ngmewr apmylegs
    aroundhim.Heloweredmesl owlyint
    ohis
    ragi
    nghardv ei
    neddickstari
    ngintomyeyes.
    “
    Ilov
    eyouMr
    s.Taf
    ir
    a.”
    Icl
    osedmyey eswit
    haf r
    ownashisdi
    ck
    i
    mpal edme, f
    ill
    i
    ngmeup.Hepushedinti
    l
    lhe
    hadcompl et
    elybott
    omedoutwit
    haloudgrunt
    .
    Itr
    embl edatthepai
    nfeel
    ingasi
    fhewasgoing
    totearme.
    “
    Abe….I
    t’
    spai
    nful
    .”
    “
    LookatmeEazi
    …”
    Iopenedmyey esandlookedathimt henhesli
    d
    outandpushedrightbacki
    nagain,Isankmy
    nai
    lsinhi
    sbicepsashegent l
    ymov ed,thr
    ust
    ing
    deepinsi
    deme.
    “
    Gaad!
    ”
    “
    Youcan’
    tescapei
    t,i
    t’
    syour
    s.”
    Heki ssedme, Isl
    owlyadj
    ust r
    edtohim whi
    l
    e
    hethrustgentlyi
    ntome,buil
    dinghispace
    sl
    owl y.Athoughtofhi
    m andThabi l
    ecameto
    met henIlookedathimtearfull
    yunabl
    etostop
    mythought s.Heslowl
    ywithdrewandlunged
    backinagai n.
    “
    Don’
    tthi
    nkabouti
    t,Iam wi
    thy
    ou,
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    Ibli
    nkedandt hetearsr andownmycheeks.
    Abecl osedthetapandwal kedoutwi thmest i
    ll
    plungeddeepi nsi
    demeandl aymeont hebed.
    Heputhi shandonmysi desthent appedme
    gentlyhit
    ti
    ngther i
    ghtfulspotov erandov er
    againwi t
    honlyhalfhisdick.Imoanedsof tlyas
    myl egsbeganshaki ng,Iclosedmyey es
    vi
    bratingbeneathhim.Heshov edhimselfinside
    me, hisenti
    redickfi
    lli
    ngmeupwhi lescreamed
    atthesuddenor gasm.Abeki ssedmesl iding
    hi
    shandbel owmywai stmov ingamuscl eand
    dugdeeperi nt
    omewhi l
    emybr eastshook.Hi s
    fl
    exi
    blewai
    stcont
    inuedmov
    ingl
    ett
    ingt
    he
    pl
    easurebl
    owmeaway .
    “
    Fucky
    ouf
    eel
    good!
    ”
    Hepoundedi
    ntomeundi stur
    bedwhileI
    moanedenj
    oyingeverythrustnotsur
    eofwhat
    t
    odowi t
    hmy sel
    fthenleanedov erki
    ssi
    ngme.
    Di
    ckfel
    tsogoodIcoul djustcry.
    “
    ArghAbe….
    ”
    Her ai
    sedonel egopeinngmeupev enmor e
    andwat chedhi mselfstret
    chingmypussy .I
    squeezedmybr eastmoaning.Heslidoutthen
    fl
    ippedov erput t
    ingapill
    owonmywai stl
    etti
    ng
    mebendsl i
    ght l
    ywi t
    hmychestont hebed.He
    rammedi nsi deandbeganf uckingsohard.I
    grabbedthesheet sscreamingashisdick
    rubbedagai nstmywal lssli
    dinginandout,
    feel
    ingeverycor nerofmypussy .
    Thebedshookwithherev
    erypowerfulthr
    ust,
    mybodysti
    ffenedasmyorgasm approached.
    Tearsfil
    ledmyey esasmybodyconv ulsedasif
    Iwashav i
    ngaseizur
    ewhi l
    ethewaveof
    pl
    easur eexpl
    odedar oundmesendingmei nt
    o
    detour.Heconti
    nuedshov i
    nghisdi
    ckdeepi n
    met henf r
    ozegrunti
    ngshooti
    nghisloaddeep
    i
    nme.
    “
    Fuck….Il
    ovey
    ou…”
    Hepumpedhisdicki
    nsi
    demeonel
    astt
    ime
    t
    hensl
    idoutwit
    hat r
    ail
    ofhi
    scum.
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #47

    Hepumpedhisdicki
    nsidemeonelastt
    ime
    t
    hensl
    idoutwit
    hat r
    ailofhi
    scum.Abefl
    ipped
    meoverandl
    eanedov erki
    ssi
    ngme.
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    Exhaust
    ed,Inoddedthenhegotupandpicked
    mypantiesfr
    om thefl
    oorandgent
    lywipedme
    thenki
    ssedmeagai n.
    “
    Arey
    ouok?
    ”
    Icl
    osedmyey
    esf
    all
    i
    ngasl
    eep.“
    Ng…”
    “
    Shoul
    dImakey
    ouf
    ood?
    ”
    “
    Hmmm?
    ”
    “
    Food?
    ”
    “
    Ok…”
    Helaybesi
    demepulli
    ngmet
    ohi
    schest
    ,whi
    l
    eI
    gav
    eintotheexhaut
    ion.

    *
    **

    Thabil
    esi
    ghedstari
    ngatthepol
    iceoff
    icer
    i
    nterr
    ogat
    ingher
    .Ithadbeenhoursnowand
    shewashungr
    y.
    “
    Wear egoi
    ngt
    okeepy
    ouher
    eti
    l
    lyoust
    art
    t
    alki
    ng.
    ”
    “Idon’
    tknowwheremydaught
    eri
    s,whyon
    earthwoul
    dIki
    dnapmyowndaughter
    ?”
    “Idon’
    tknow,tospit
    ey ourbabydaddysincehe
    won’tacknowledgethechil
    dormay betograb
    hisatt
    enti
    on,orevenbetter
    ,may bet
    oframehis
    wifesothatyoucaneasilyrepl
    aceher.
    ”
    “
    IDON’
    TKNOW WHERESHEI
    S!”
    “Youcanscream al
    lyouwantbutt
    hat
    ’snot
    goingtohel
    py ou.I
    fIwer
    eyouIwouldstar
    t
    tal
    king.
    ”
    “Iam tel
    l
    ingyou,Eazitookmydaughter
    !You
    shouldbeinvest
    igati
    ngher.Shehat
    esmef or
    sleepi
    ngwithAbe.”
    “Andsheist
    heonewhof
    orcedy
    out
    ohi
    ret
    he
    str
    anger
    ?”
    “Eazi
    isdanger
    ous,shet
    ookmybaby
    .Shei
    s
    bit
    ter
    ,Abedoesn’
    tevenl
    oveher
    .”
    “
    Yethemarri
    edher.Youaregoi
    ngt
    osl
    eepher
    e
    i
    fyoudon’
    tst
    artt
    alking.
    ”

    *
    **

    I
    nthenextroom Thabi
    l
    e’sf
    ri
    endl
    ookedatt
    he
    pol
    i
    ceoffi
    cercry
    ing.
    “Idi
    dn’
    tdoanything.Thabil
    ewast heonewho
    l
    ookedfort
    hel adyonf acebook.Shewantedto
    comewithmet ot hepartythenshesaidshe
    wouldl
    eavethebabyal one,awhilel
    atershe
    call
    edmesayingshef oundsomeone. ”
    “
    Youandy
    ourfr
    iendar
    egoi
    ngt
    otel
    luswhom
    y
    ougavet
    hebaby.”
    “Idon’
    tknow.Thabi
    l
    eistheonewhoknows.
    Shemett hel
    ady.Pl
    easeletmego.
    ”
    “Youmustthi
    nkIam st
    il
    lplayi
    ng,weare
    keepi
    ngyouhereti
    l
    lyoustartt
    alki
    ng.
    ”
    “Thabi
    l
    eknowsthel
    ady
    !Shewant
    sAbet
    ofeel
    sorr
    yforher
    .”
    “
    Ther
    ewego,
    tel
    lmemor
    e…”

    *
    **

    Tashacoughedsi tt
    ingonherbedt hensl
    owly
    gotupandwentt othetoil
    etwher eshesl owly
    peedf r
    owningtearful
    lyatthebur ningsensati
    on
    shewasf eeli
    ng.Shewi pedher selfandwalked
    backtoherbedr oom taki
    nghi sphoneand
    dial
    i
    ngMoemedi .Hisphoner angf orawhi l
    eti
    ll
    hefinal
    lyanswered.
    “
    Babe…”
    “Moemedi,
    Iam notf
    eeli
    ngwell
    .Pl
    easecome
    andtakemetothehospi
    tal
    .”
    “
    Ican’tcomenow,
    Binai
    sonmycase.Next
    weekend.”
    Shecoughed.“Ithi
    nkIhavewoundsonmy
    thr
    oat
    .Ican’teatproper
    lyany
    more.
    ”
    “
    Iwil
    lsendyousomemoney
    .Yougetsome
    medi
    cine.
    ”
    “
    Moemedi
    Ican’
    tev
    enwal
    k.Pl
    easecome.
    ”
    “Tasha,
    stopbei
    ngababy
    .Isai
    dIwi
    l
    lcome
    nextweekend.
    ”
    “
    May
    beIhav
    eanSTD.
    ”
    “
    Andwher
    ewoul
    dyouhav
    egot
    teni
    tfr
    om?
    ”
    Tearsfil
    ledhereyes.“
    Iknowyouaresl
    eepi
    ng
    wit
    ht hatladyaty
    ourwor kpl
    ace.
    ”
    “Youarebegi
    nningtogetonmynerv
    es.Why
    am Inotsi
    ckthen?Mywi f
    eandIar
    eok.Who
    haveyoubeensleepi
    ngwith?
    ”
    Shecoughedevenhar
    derasi
    fshewouldjust
    coughoutherl
    ungs.“
    Moemedi,
    pleasecome
    andt
    akemet
    othehospi
    tal
    .”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lcomenextweekend.Ihav
    etogo.
    ”
    Hehungupt henshelookedatherphone.She
    coulddi
    alhermotherbutshedidn’twant
    anyoneseei
    ngherinthatcondi
    tion.Inher
    boneystat
    e,shereachedfort
    heher balt
    eashe
    hadbeendrinki
    ngandt ookasi
    p.

    *
    **

    AtTaku’shouse,hedroveinsidehisyardand
    steppedoutholdi
    ngapl asti
    cbag.Insi
    dehis
    house,hesmiledwalki
    ngi nsi
    dethekitchen
    whereStacywascooki ngthenkissedhercheek.
    “
    Iboughty
    ouaf
    ewt
    hings.
    ”
    “Therei
    ssomeonewai
    ti
    ngf
    ory
    oui
    nthe
    bedroom.”
    Takuf
    rowned.“
    Who?
    ”
    “
    Yourwi
    fe.
    ”
    “
    Whatar
    eyout
    alki
    ngabout
    ?”
    “Yourwif
    eisher
    e.Iam donecooki
    ngandIam
    going.
    ”
    Shewalkedoutfr
    om theki
    tchenandputonher
    shoest
    akingherhandbag.
    “
    Babewai
    t,It
    oldy
    ou,
    Iam adi
    vor
    cedman.
    ”
    “Yourwi f
    eisinyourbedroom.Ij ustdon’t
    understandwhyy ouwouldn’ttel
    lmet hatyou
    havedeci dedt
    of i
    xthi
    ngswi thherinsteadof
    embar r
    assingmel i
    kethat.
    ”
    “
    GinaandIar
    edone,
    letmesor
    titout
    .Gi
    veme
    aminut
    e.”
    Hewenttohi
    sroom andwal
    kedi
    n.Gi
    nal
    ooked
    athi
    m cal
    mly
    .
    “
    Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngher
    e?”
    “
    Iwantt
    otal
    ktoy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Inmybedroom?Youaremaki
    ngmygi
    rl
    fr
    iend
    f
    eeluncomfor
    tabl
    e.”
    “
    Yourgi
    rl
    fr
    iend?Youl
    i
    ket
    hem y
    oungIsee.
    ”
    “
    Gina…”
    “
    NowIseewhyy
    ouev
    ensl
    eptwi
    thLi
    nai
    nthe
    f
    ir
    stpl
    ace.
    ”
    “
    Arewedoi
    ngt
    his?
    ”
    “
    Yes,wearedoi
    ngi t
    .Iam begi
    nningtothi
    nk
    youhaveal
    wayscheatedonmej ustthatyou
    weregoodathi
    dingit
    .WhatwasIl acki
    ngthat
    youhadtosl
    eepwithyourowndaught eri
    n-
    l
    aw?”
    “
    Idon’
    thav
    eti
    mef
    ort
    his,
    wear
    ewaypastt
    his.
    ”
    “
    Wearenotpastany
    thi
    ng.Youar
    egoi
    ngt
    otel
    l
    mewhatIl
    acked.
    ”
    “
    Iam notdoi
    ngt
    hiswi
    thy
    ou.
    ”
    Ginast
    oodup.“Iam notgoi
    nganywher
    eti
    l
    lyou
    answerme.Youaregoingtohavetof
    oceme
    out
    .”
    “Iam t
    ryingtofi
    xthingswit
    hmyki ds,
    cany ou
    stoptry
    ingtowakef ight
    sbetweenus.You
    wantedadi v
    orce,Igaveitt
    oy ou.Igaveyou
    every
    thingyouwant ed.Whatmor edoy ou
    want?”
    Tear
    sfi
    lledmyey es.“Idi
    vorcedy
    oubecause
    youhur
    tmebey ondrepair
    .Youbetr
    ayedmei n
    thewor
    stpossiblemannerandIkeep
    wonder
    ingwhy ,wasn’tIagoodwifetoyou?
    Whatdi
    dIl ack?That’
    sallIneedyoutot
    ellme.”
    Takul ookedatherasshespokecalmlythen
    sighed.“Nothi
    ng.Youlackednot
    hing.Youwer e
    thebestwi f
    eanyonecouldeverwishfor.You
    wer eanamazingwi f
    e,youareanamazing
    womanandImessedupwhatwehad.I t’
    sallon
    me. ”
    “
    Youhur
    tme.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    Shewi pedawayhertearsbuttheykeptrunning
    downhercheek.Feelingover
    whelmedshe
    coveredherfacecryi
    ng.Takusadlyl
    ookedat
    herknowinghewast hecauseofhert ears.He
    walkedov erandhuggedher.

    *
    **

    MeanwhileSt acywal kedtothebedroom and


    peakedthrought hesl i
    ght
    lyopendoor.Herey es
    fel
    lonTakuhuggi nghiscryi
    ngwife,sheshook
    herheadandwentbackt othesit
    tingroom
    whereshegr abbedherhandbagandwal kedout
    hol
    dinghercarkey s.Secondslat
    ershedr ove
    away.

    *
    **
    Gi
    naslowl
    ycal
    meddownandwi
    pedawayher
    t
    ears.
    “
    IwantedustotalkaboutTasha,Ihav
    en’
    thear
    d
    f
    rom herinawhil
    ebutyouhav ecompany,
    we
    wil
    ltal
    ktomorr
    ow.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Ginast
    oodupandt
    ookherhandbag.“
    Shei
    s
    beaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    emor ebeaut
    if
    ul,
    hav
    eal
    way
    sbeen
    mor
    ebeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    “Youcan’
    tcomparemetoyouryounggi
    rl
    fr
    iend.
    IknowwhereIfal
    l
    ,noneedtoli
    etome.Bye.”
    Shewalkedouttohercaranddr
    oveoffwhil
    ehe
    l
    ookedaroundsearchi
    ngforSt
    acy.Hetookhis
    phoneandcall
    edher.
    “
    Babe,
    wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “Iwenttomyhouse.Idon’
    tthi
    nki
    twi
    l
    lwor
    k
    Taku.”
    “Why?BecauseofGi
    na?Iam notbackwi
    th
    her
    .”
    “
    Notnowofcause.
    ”
    “
    Comeonbabe.
    ”
    “
    Iam donewasti
    ngmyti
    me.Iam notgoingto
    f
    ightf
    oraplacei
    nyourl
    i
    fewi
    thyourwife.”
    “
    Stacy
    -“
    “
    Pleasest
    opcal
    l
    ingme.By
    e.”
    Shehungupbef
    orehecoul
    dsayany
    thi
    ngel
    se.

    *
    **

    Tendaiputhi
    ssoninhisbedandwalkedoutof
    theroom l
    eavi
    ngthedoorsl
    ight
    lyopen.I
    nhis
    bedroom,Lonassatonthebedtaki
    ngoffher
    shoes.
    “
    Hei
    sasl
    eep.
    ”
    “
    Ok.Hemustbet
    ir
    ed.
    ”
    “Weshouldtakehi
    m outev
    ery
    dayi
    fhecan
    sl
    eepatthisti
    me.”
    Lonassmil
    ed.“
    BabeIneedt
    ogobackt
    o
    school
    .”
    “
    WhataboutJuni
    or?
    ”
    “
    Whatabouthi
    m?Wewi
    l
    lgetananny
    .”
    “Idon’
    twantmychi
    l
    dremai
    ningwi
    thast
    ranger
    here.
    ”
    Lonasstoodup.“
    Ilongt
    oldyouIwantt
    ofi
    nish
    school
    .Iwanttogotouniv
    ersi
    ty.
    ”
    “Youwill
    gobackt
    oscj
    ool
    onceJuni
    ori
    sabi
    t
    older
    .”
    “Juni
    orcanr emainwit
    hyourmom, howisit
    thatyourbrother’
    swi
    fe’
    schil
    dcanremainwith
    heryetthatchildi
    snotevenyourbr
    other
    ’s?
    ”
    “Iwi
    llnotl
    etanot
    herwomandot hej
    obthatyou
    aresupposedtobedoi
    ng.Oursonneedsyou
    notsomest rangeroutt
    here.Andy
    oucan’
    t
    comparey oursel
    ftoEazi
    .Howaboutyoust
    art
    abusinessinstead?”
    “
    Iwantt
    owor
    k.”
    “
    Thenwai
    tti
    l
    lJunoi
    risol
    denough.
    ”
    “
    Linawant
    stot
    akemymot
    her
    ’sf
    arm.
    ”
    “Thatfar
    m belongstoLina.Yourmot her
    snatcheditt
    hinkingLi
    nawoul dneverfightf
    ori
    t
    butseemsl i
    key ouunderest
    imateher.”
    Lonasl
    ookedathimforawhi
    l
    ethenwal
    kedout
    goi
    ngtotheki
    tchen.

    *
    **

    Latert
    hatdayatthef arm, Iwokeupandlooked
    aroundtheroom r
    emember i
    ngwhereIwas.I
    gotuppicki
    nghist-shirtfr
    om thefl
    oor.The
    housewassoqui etitfeltasifIwasal
    one.I
    walkedoutoft hebedroom andwentt othe
    si
    tti
    ngroom put t
    ingonhist -
    shirt
    .Icoul
    dhear
    Abe’svoicefrom out
    side,Isl
    owl ymademyway
    outandlookedathi m speakingtosomeman
    shi
    rtl
    ess.Theybot hl
    aughedt henhetur
    nedand
    walkedinsidethehouseput t
    inghisarm ar
    ound
    me.
    “
    Sleepi
    ngbeaut
    y…”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Thi
    spl
    acei
    sbeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    Heki
    ssedme.“
    Arey
    ouhungr
    y?Icooked.
    ”
    Hepul
    ledmet
    othekit
    chenandpickedmeup
    pl
    aci
    ngmeontheki
    tchencount
    ers.
    “
    Arey
    ouoncont
    racept
    ion?
    ”
    “
    Iam notr
    eadyt
    oloseanot
    herbaby
    .”
    “Babe,wehav
    etomov
    eonf
    rom Lel
    ent
    lesome
    day.”
    “
    IknowandIhav
    e,Iam notr
    eadyr
    ightnow.
    ”
    “
    YouknowIam gr
    owi
    ngol
    dri
    ght
    ?”
    “
    Ijustneedsomet
    ime.
    ”
    “
    Igety
    oubutcany
    ougetwher
    eIam st
    andi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Youhav
    eababywi
    thThabi
    l
    e.”
    “Thabil
    eisnotmywife.Idon’
    tevenconsi
    der
    thatbabybecauseIt
    oldherIdidn’
    twantt
    hat
    chil
    d.”
    “Ifyoudidn’
    twantthatchil
    dt henyoushould
    hav eneversl
    eptwithher.Wor sewit
    hout
    protecti
    on.Yousleptwithherknowingthatyou
    wer egoingtomakeababy .Iam notgoi
    ngto
    getpregnantsothaty oucancheatonmeand
    takev i
    deos.Seemslikesomet hingi
    swrong
    wi t
    hyourentir
    efamily!”
    Abelookeddownandsi
    ghed.“
    Doy
    ouwant
    j
    uice?”
    Reali
    zi
    ngthesl
    i
    pofmyt ongue,Il
    ookedathi
    m
    regr
    etti
    ngmywirds.“
    Iam sor
    ry,
    Ididn’
    t-
    “
    “
    Don’
    tapol
    ogi
    sef
    orhowy
    ouf
    eel
    .”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.Thatcameoutwr
    ong.
    ”
    “
    Ideserv
    et ohearit
    .Ihurtyou.Youhav eevery
    r
    ightt
    ov entandIam notgoingt ostopyou
    f
    rom bei
    ngmad.Iam j usthoppingthatwecan
    workonourmar r
    iage.Youcaneat ,Iwil
    lchange
    t
    hebedding.”
    Hewalkedawayast
    earsf
    il
    ledmyeyes.Igot
    of
    fthecount
    erandf
    oll
    owedaft
    erhi
    m.
    “Iam sorr
    y,Ishouldn’ti
    ncludey ourfamil
    yinour
    fi
    ghts.Iam scaredtogetpr egnantbecauseI
    don’
    twantt ogot hroughwhatIwentt hrough
    agai
    n.Idon’tthi
    nkIwi l
    lev
    err ecoverfr
    om that.
    ”
    “
    Iunder
    stand.
    ”
    Iwalkedtohim.“ Iwanttoworkonourmar ri
    age,
    Idon’twanttoleavewi t
    houttr
    ying.Iloveyou
    andIam goingt ogiveitashot.Butdon’t
    ecpectmet oacceptt hatchi
    l
    d.Iam nev ergoi
    ng
    toconsidert
    hatchi l
    dbecauset hatchil
    dwill
    alwaysbear eminderofwhaty oudi d.Iam
    goingt opr etendshedoesn’ texist,shei sthe
    reasonwear eher etoday, sheandhermot her
    andasmuchasshei sinnocent , shewi llbeon
    thecr ossfi
    r eforwhathermot herdi d.Youar e
    goingt ohav et ochoosebet weent hatchildand
    thi
    sf ami l
    yandIam notbacki ngdownbecause
    youhur tme.I fyouwantt hatchi ldt henIam
    l
    eav i
    ngt hismar r
    iage.Iam humant oo,therei
    s
    onlymuchIcant ake,Idon’ tknowhowy ouwi l
    l
    explaintoherwhenshegr owsupbutIam not
    goingt obepar tofy ourcheat ingpr oducts.You
    havet omakeachoi ceAbedi l
    e,ei t
    hert his
    familyort hatchi l
    d.Whati sitgoi ngt obe? ”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #48
    Abelookedatmepr obablyexpect
    ingmeto
    backdownbutIstaredrightbackathi
    m wai
    ti
    ng
    tohearhisr
    esponse.
    “
    Iknowthatthi
    schil
    dwill
    beapainful
    remi
    nder
    t
    oyouandt hat
    ’swhyIneverbr
    oughti
    tupt
    o
    y
    ou.”
    “Iam gl
    ady ouknowwhatt hischi
    lddoestome.
    Imaysoundev i
    lbutIam nevergoi
    ngtoaccept
    thatchi
    ld.Thatchi
    ldismyl i
    vi
    ngpain.You
    madet hischi
    ldthedayIlostLel
    entl
    e.Howdo
    youexpectmet ofeel?”
    “
    Ilongchosey
    ouEazi
    .”
    “Iwantyoutocutal
    lcommunicat
    ionwit
    h
    Thabil
    e.Fr
    om thi
    sdaygoingonwardt
    hatchi
    l
    d
    i
    sgoodasdead.Iam goingtoeat.
    ”
    Iwal
    kedbackt othekitchenandt ookmyfood
    out
    sidetothegardenchai r
    s.Isatdown
    enj
    oyingthecol
    dbr eezestari
    ngintothebush
    wonderi
    ngjusthowbigthefar
    m was.Thesame
    manhehadbeent alki
    ngtowalkedf
    rom t
    he
    backofthehousethensmil
    edatme.
    “
    Makadi
    iheny
    u?(
    Howar
    eyou?
    )”
    Il
    ookedathi
    m andsmi
    l
    ed.“
    Uhl
    etmecal
    lmy
    husband.
    ”
    “
    Youdon’
    tunder
    standt
    hel
    anguage?
    ”
    Inodded.“
    Idon’
    t.
    ”
    “Ok,Iwant
    edtol
    etMr
    .Taf
    ir
    aknowIhav
    e
    sort
    editout.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    lhi
    m know.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Hewalkedaway
    ,Abecameout
    .“Ihear
    da
    voi
    ce.
    ”
    “
    Thatmansai
    dhesor
    tedi
    tout
    .”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Hecamei
    nfr
    om t
    hesamegat
    e?”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    “
    Sohei
    swal
    ki
    ngt
    her
    e?”
    Abesmi l
    edsi
    tti
    ngbesi
    demeandtaki
    ngmy
    feetpl
    aci
    ngthem onhi
    slap.“
    Hei
    susedt
    oit
    now.”
    Iatewhil
    eheshar
    edwi thmesomememor ies
    thi
    shadwhilet
    hesunset .Wewalkedinsi
    dethe
    housethenheswi
    tchedont hedi
    ml i
    ghtsand
    l
    ightedupsomecandles.
    “
    Tomor
    rowwewi
    l
    lgohor
    ser
    idi
    ng.
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Ihav
    eal
    way
    swant
    edt
    ori
    deahor
    se.
    ”
    Hekissedmeaswecuddl edont
    he
    comfortablecouchi
    nsi
    tt
    ingr
    oom wi
    tha
    bl
    anketov erus.

    *
    **
    Ginasatinhersi t
    tingroom allal
    onefeeli
    ng
    l
    onely.Shehadnev erfeltmorelonel
    y,withno
    Malcolminhi shouser unningaround,herenti
    re
    housefelttoobigf orher.Shetookherphone
    wonderingwhyshenev erhadfri
    ends.Af t
    era
    whileofscroll
    ingthroughherphone, shefinal
    l
    y
    walkedtoherki t
    chenandst ar
    tedbaking.The
    i
    ntercom inter
    ruptedhert henshewalkedback
    tothesitt
    ingroom.
    “
    Whoi
    sit
    ?”
    “
    Taku,
    openup.
    ”
    Shepressedt
    hegat er
    emot ethenitsli
    dopen
    andhedrovein.Shewaitedpaient
    lyinthe
    si
    tt
    ingroom t
    henhewal kedin.
    “
    Hi,Iwantedt
    oaskify
    ouhav
    ethef
    arm’
    s
    t
    elephonenumber
    ?”
    Ginatookoutherphonefr
    om herpocketand
    scrol
    ledthr
    oughforawhil
    e.“I
    nmyphoneno, I
    wroteiti
    nmyol ddi
    arybutAbesaidhewanted
    togoawayf rom ev
    eryoneandev er
    ythi
    ngand
    hewasgoi ngtocutdownanycommuni cat
    ion
    withtheoutsi
    deworld.Iam sur
    ehe
    disconnect
    edit.
    ”
    “Ok.Iwantedt
    otel
    lhim aboutt
    hesol
    arpanel
    s
    buthewill
    manage.”
    Gina’
    sphoner
    anginherhandsthenshe
    answeredt
    heunknownnumber.“Hel
    lo?
    ”
    “
    Goodeveni
    ngMrs.Taf
    ir
    a,t
    hisi
    sThabi
    l
    e’s
    mot
    hercal
    li
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Ahhi
    …”
    “
    Iam notdoi
    ngok,
    wehav
    eani
    ssue.
    ”
    “
    Whati
    sit
    ?”
    “Bynowwet houghtAbewouldhave
    acknowledgedhischil
    dbutitseemsli
    kehehas
    nointent
    ionsofdoingso,Ashleyi
    smissi
    ng.I
    knowhei sdeny i
    nghischi
    l
    dbutweneedev er
    y
    helpwecanget .”
    “
    Abehasachi
    l
    d?”
    “
    Yes,
    wit
    hThabi
    l
    e.”
    “
    Howol
    dist
    hatchi
    l
    d?”
    “
    3mont
    hsol
    d.”
    “Abeisamarr
    iedman,
    wasyourdaught
    er
    sleepi
    ngwi
    thmysonknowi
    ngheismarried?
    ”
    “
    Yoursoncametoherbutt
    hat
    ’snott
    hei
    ssue,
    t
    hatchi
    ldi
    smissi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Abeisnother
    e,hewentonav
    acat
    ionwi
    thhi
    s
    wi
    fe.
    ”
    “
    Pleasei
    nfr
    om hi
    mthi
    snews,
    thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Ginahungupandshookherheadstar
    ingat
    Taku.“
    Yoursonsleptwit
    hThabi
    le,
    heevenhas
    achil
    d.Iwonderi
    fEaziknows.
    ”
    “
    Hehasachi
    l
    d?”
    “Hehas!Hecheatwiththatloosewoman, I
    can’
    tbeli
    evet
    his.Thatchil
    dismi ssi
    ng.They
    wantustotel
    lAbe.Ican’
    tbel
    i
    eveAbe.
    ”She
    di
    aledTendai
    ’
    snumber .
    “
    Mama…”
    “
    Soyoual
    soknewt
    hatAbehasachi
    l
    dout
    side
    mar
    ri
    age?
    ”
    “
    Mama-
    “
    “Tendai
    ,howcoul
    dyouevenl
    ethi
    m keepqui
    et
    aboutsomethi
    ngl
    iket
    his?
    ”
    “Thabi
    lechosetokeepthatpr
    egnancytor
    uin
    hismarri
    age.Thatchi
    l
    dhasapot ent
    ial
    of
    breaki
    nghismarri
    age.
    ”
    “Heshoul
    dhavethoughtaboutthatbeforehe
    cheat
    .Howcouldhecheat?Ithoughthewas
    happywit
    hEazi
    .Iam verydi
    sappointed.”
    Takutookt
    hephonefrom Gi
    naandhungup.
    “Abei
    saman, notaboyandIam surehe
    knowswhatheisdoi
    ng.Wewi l
    ltel
    lhi
    m as
    soonashecomesback.”
    “Ican’
    tbeli
    evethi
    s.If
    eelsor
    ryf
    orEazi,
    nowI
    seewhyt heyhavebeenhavi
    ngprobl
    emslat
    ely
    .
    Thatpoorchil
    d…”
    “Iwil
    ltal
    ktohi
    m whenhecomesback.Good
    night
    .”
    Hewalkedoutwhi
    l
    esheshookherheadi
    n
    di
    sbel
    i
    ef.

    *
    **

    Ontlametsi sati
    nherr oom att helodgehol ding
    herphonescr ol
    l
    ingthroughbor ed.Eazi hadn’
    t
    communi catedasyetandshewonder edi f
    everythi
    ngwasok.Sheopenedt hepicturesof
    hertwohousest hatwer ebeingbui l
    twi tha
    smile.Soont heywouldbef inishedhouses.She
    thoughtofTanandsi ghedcal l
    inghi m.Hi s
    phoner angf orawhiletil
    lheanswer ed.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    Ontl
    apausedlisteni
    ngtoafemalevoce
    l
    aughingatthebackgroundt
    henquickl
    yhung
    upanddeletedthenumber.Herphonerang
    thensheansweredtheunsavednumber.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi,
    it’
    sAkanyang.Iam goi
    ngbackt
    oMaun
    t
    oni
    ght,wantali
    ft?
    ”
    “
    Yespl
    ease.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Atal
    odge,
    Iwi
    l
    lsendy
    out
    henamej
    ustnow.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Shehungupandsenthimt henameoft he
    l
    odgeandstart
    edpacking.ShesentEazia
    messageonwhatsapp,shewouldseeitwhen
    shewenttoanetworkzone.Herphonerang
    minut
    eslat
    er.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Iam out
    side.
    ”
    “
    Iam comi
    ng.
    ”
    Shecheckedoutandwalkedt ot
    hegat
    ewith
    herbag.Akany
    angsmiledthrowi
    ngherbagat
    thebackandgotinf
    rontwithher.
    “
    Wecango?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Hestar
    tedthecaranddr
    ov eoff
    ,shesighed
    wit
    hrel
    ieft
    hankfult
    obegetti
    ngaliftf
    rom t
    he
    samepersonwhohadgivenheral i
    ftt
    ocome.
    Aft
    erawhileofdri
    vi
    nghelookedatme.
    “
    Whydon’
    tyoubr
    ingy
    ourcar
    ?”
    “Iam alazydri
    ver.Ihat
    edri
    vingf
    orlong
    dist
    ances,I’
    drathergeti
    nthebus.
    ”
    Akany
    angsmi
    l
    ed.“
    Int
    erest
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    “
    Doy
    ouhav
    eki
    ds?
    ”
    “
    Yes,Ihavet
    woki
    dsf
    rom mypr
    evi
    ous
    marr
    iage.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    eadi
    vor
    cee?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Met
    oo.
    ”
    Ont
    lametsilaughed.“
    Whydoy
    ousayi
    tli
    kei
    t’
    s
    agoodthing?”
    “I
    tis.Idon’
    thavetofeel
    awkwar
    dar
    oundy
    ou
    becausewear ethesame.”
    Shechuckl
    edt
    henherphoner
    ang.“
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Ont
    lamet
    si,
    youcal
    l
    ed.
    ”
    “
    OhIam sor
    ry,
    itwasami
    stake.Sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok.
    ”
    Shehungupandl
    ookedahead.

    *
    **
    Thefol
    lowi
    ngmor ni
    ng,Tasha’
    snei
    ghbor
    ’s
    daught
    erwalkedi
    nsideheryar
    dandknocked
    onherdooracoupleofti
    mesbefor
    eopening
    andwalki
    ngin.
    “
    Tasha!
    ”
    Sheslowl
    ymadeherwayt oTasha’sroom and
    walkedi
    n.Shepausedholdi
    ngherbreathbeing
    metbyast r
    ongordourl
    i
    kesewage.Sheputher
    handoverhernoseandpeakedinstar
    ingat
    Tasha’
    sskinnybodyl
    ayi
    ngont hebed.
    “
    Tasha!
    ”
    Tashaslowlyopenedherey esandl ookedather
    .
    Theneighbor’sdaughterl
    ookedatheri nshock,
    thi
    swast hesamel adywhousedt owearheels
    andallandtodayshewasl ookinglikea
    skelet
    onont hatbed,herheadlookingtoobig
    forherbody.
    “
    Mamasai
    dIshoul
    dcomeandcheckony
    ou.
    Youshoul
    dgot
    othehospi
    tal
    .”
    “
    Ngng,
    Iwi
    l
    lbef
    ine.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    eshi
    tt
    ingy
    oursel
    fther
    e,whatdoy
    ou
    meany
    ouwil
    lbef
    ine?”
    “Ihavebeendri
    nkingsomeher bsand…”She
    stoppedcoughing.Shecoughedsohardthe
    neighbor
    ’sdaughtercr
    inged.
    “YouhaveAIDS!Youcan’tdr
    inksomeher bs.
    Youneedt odri
    nkARV’s.Iam cal
    li
    ngthe
    ambulance,t
    heywil
    ltouchyou,Iam notdoing
    that
    .”
    Shetookapictur
    ethenwalkedoutandsi
    ghed
    breat
    hingfr
    eshairout
    sidedi
    ali
    ngthe
    ambulance.

    *
    **

    I
    nsi
    det
    hehouse,
    Tashat
    ri
    edr
    eachi
    ngf
    oeher
    phonebutf el
    ttoweak, tear
    sfi
    lledherey esas
    shelaythereunablet omove,act ual
    lygrateful
    thatsomeonehadf oundher.Awhi l
    elaterthe
    dooropenedandt heparamedicswal kedi n.She
    sighedwithrel
    ief
    .Thepar amedi csquickly
    cleanedherthenwal kedoutwithherona
    stret
    cher.Theneighbor’
    sdaught erpostedona
    facebookgroupwi thafunnycapt ionusingher
    fakeaccountandputherphonei nthepocket .

    *
    **

    Thabilesatonherbedwonder i
    ngwhereher
    daughterwas.Foraf actsheknewEaziwas
    somehowi nvol
    ved,
    therewasnoother
    explanati
    on.Tearsfi
    ll
    edhereyesasshe
    scroll
    edthroughherdaughter
    ’spi
    ctur
    esthen
    shecal l
    edTino.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Tino,
    it’
    sThabi
    l
    e.”
    “
    Whatdoy
    ouwant
    ?”
    “
    Ashl
    eyi
    smi
    ssi
    ng,
    wher
    eisAbe?
    ”
    “
    Abewentonav
    acat
    ionwi
    thhi
    swi
    fe.
    ”
    “
    Wher e?Heneedst
    oknowhi
    sdaught
    eri
    s
    missi
    ng.”
    “
    Whatchi
    ld?Het
    oldyout
    oabor
    tthatchi
    l
    dand
    y
    oukepthert
    odestr
    oyhi
    smarr
    iage.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sst
    il
    lhi
    schi
    l
    d.”
    “
    Youaresi
    ck,Ist
    il
    lcan’
    tbel
    i
    evey
    oul
    i
    edsay
    ing
    myfat
    herr
    apedyou.”
    “
    It
    ’snotmypr
    obl
    em i
    fyoudon’
    tbel
    i
    eveme.
    ”
    “Iknowy ousleptwi t
    hhim will
    i
    ngly.Ifoundyou
    ont opofhim.I fIwhereyouIwoul dbeout
    therelooki
    ngf ormydaught erbecauseAbei s
    notgoi ngtodot hatorevenfeelsorryforyou.
    Hedoesn’ tconsiderthatchi
    ld.
    ”
    “Ashl
    eyisAbe’ sdaughter
    ,whetherhedeni
    esot
    orwhat.Eazi i
    sgoingtohavetoacceptthat
    .It’
    s
    notmyf aultshecan’tgi
    vebi
    rthtobabieswhich
    cansurvive.Ashl
    eyisheretostay.
    ”
    ShehungupwonderingwhereAbecoldhav
    e
    gonewhenthei
    rdaughterneededhi
    mthemost
    .

    *
    **

    Bi
    nal
    ookedatMoemedi
    comi
    gfr
    om t
    het
    oil
    et.
    “
    Arey
    ouok?
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    Ithi
    nki
    t’
    ssomet
    hingIat
    eatwor
    k.”
    Binawalkedt
    othedooraft
    ersomeoneknocked
    thensheopened.Kopol
    ookedatherand
    smiled.
    “
    Hi,
    canIcomei
    n?”
    Bi
    nasmi
    l
    edopeni
    ngt
    hedoorwi
    derl
    ett
    ingher
    si
    steri
    n.Theyall
    satintheli
    vingr
    oom whi
    l
    e
    Moemedi gl
    aredatKopo..Kopoavoi
    dedhi
    s
    ey
    esandl ookedathersi
    ster.
    “Ihavebeensl eepingwithMoemedi,
    he
    seducedmeandt oldmehewi l
    ldoanyt
    hingf or
    mei fIhadar elat
    ionshipwi
    thhim.It
    ested
    positi
    veforHIVandIt hi
    nkyoushoul
    dget
    testedtoo.Heknowshi sst
    atusandwon’tlet
    anyonegoandt estsincehehasbeensleeping
    withtheentir
    ewor l
    d.”
    Binacal
    mlylookedatherwhi
    leKopo’
    shear
    t
    poundedknowingitcoul
    dtur
    nsouthany
    moment .
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe
    #49

    Binafol
    dedherar
    mslooki
    ngathersi
    stert
    hen
    turnedt
    oMoemedi.
    “
    Soy
    ouar
    esl
    eepi
    ngwi
    thmysi
    ster
    ?”
    “
    Babe-
    “
    “
    Ineedasi
    mpl
    eyesornof
    rom y
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Whatdi
    dyouexpect
    ?Youdenymesex.
    ”
    Binalaughed.“ Idenyy ouwhat ?Youwantt o
    haveunpr otectedsexwi thmewhi l
    ey ouare
    busysl eepi
    ngwi t
    ht heent i
    reworl
    d.Iam not
    thatstupid.
    ”Bi nat urnedbackt ohersi st
    er.“I
    didn’
    texpectt hisf rom y oubutIam notgoi ngto
    fi
    ghty ou.Ihopey oual sogotSTD’ sbecause
    youdeser veit, hehasgeni talwart
    s,Isawi tand
    hedeni edit
    , Ihopey ouhav ethattootogether
    withal otofot herdi seaseshei scarr
    ying.It’
    s
    notonl yone.Youdon’ thavetowor r
    yabouthi m
    becauseIhaveneversleptwiththisman
    withoutacondom, Iam healt
    hyandf i
    t,Iam
    goingtothegym andIdomyf acial
    s.Il
    ook
    supersweety,youandy ourmanl ookli
    keyou
    areabouttodiebutthat’snotmyconcer n.
    ”
    Binastoodupthenwal kedtoherdaught er
    ’s
    room andwalkedoutwi thher.
    “Iam goi
    ngformyf
    ri
    end’
    sbi
    rt
    hday
    .Di
    ein
    peace.Bye!
    ”
    Theyal
    lli
    stenedasthecardr
    oveoffthen
    Moemedi l
    ookedatKopoangri
    ly
    .“Areyoutr
    ying
    todest
    roymymar ri
    age?”
    “
    Yousai
    dyouwer
    edi
    vor
    cingher
    !”
    “
    Ilov
    emywi
    feandIwoul
    dnev
    erdi
    vor
    ceher
    .”
    “
    Iam pr
    egnant
    .”
    “
    Youar
    ewhat
    ?”
    “
    Iam pr
    egnant
    !”
    “
    Youmustbesmoki
    ng,
    whosai
    dIwant
    eda
    chi
    l
    dwi
    thy
    ou?
    ”
    “Youdidt
    hemomenty oudidn’tuseacondom.
    Whatdoy ouexpect?
    ”Kopost oodup.“Idon’
    t
    knowaboutyourandy ourothergir
    lf
    ri
    endsbutI
    am dr
    inki
    ngmypi l
    ls.
    ”
    Moemedist
    oodupandgrabbedhert
    hroat
    .
    “
    Youaregoi
    ngtoabor
    tthatthi
    ng.
    ”
    Kopo’shear
    tpoundedasshel
    ookedathi
    m
    thennodded.
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Good.
    ”
    Het ookouthi
    swal
    l
    etandcount
    edP2000.
    “Takethi
    sandgoandgetr
    idoft
    hatt
    hing.You
    andIaredone.”
    Kopot
    ookthemoneyandwalkedoutl
    eav
    ing
    Moemedir
    ushi
    ngtothet
    oil
    et.

    *
    **
    Bi
    nahel
    dthephonet
    alki
    ngt
    ohermot
    her
    .
    “Outofev
    ery
    one,
    Kopowast
    hel
    eastper
    son
    expect
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Thatmandoesn’
    tdeserv
    eyou,
    Iwonderwhy
    y
    ouevenmarri
    edhim.”
    “
    Ijustwant
    edt
    orai
    semychi
    l
    dwi
    thherf
    ather
    .”
    “
    Seenow?Hei
    sbr
    ingi
    ngdi
    seaseshome.
    ”
    “Ineversl
    eepwithhim wit
    houtprot
    ecti
    onev er
    sinceIfoundoutaboutthatTashagir
    lbecause
    Iknowhewentt oher.”
    “
    Youshoul
    djustl
    eav
    e.”
    “Hei
    sdying,Iwantt
    ohaveev
    ery
    thi
    ngweown.I
    don’
    twanttogethal
    f.”
    “
    Hei
    sdy
    ing?
    ”
    “Hewon’
    tgotothehospi
    tal
    .Il
    ongtol
    dhimto
    gobuthei
    srefusi
    ngandhehasbeenlosi
    ng
    weightl
    atel
    y.Iam thinki
    ngofmovi
    ngoutso
    thatwhenhedi estheycanseei
    t’
    snotmewho
    deniedhi
    m pil
    ls.”
    “
    Ican’
    tbel
    ieveMoemedi i
    stheonewhohas
    t
    urnedi
    ntothi
    sperson.
    ”
    “Hehasalwaysbeenthiskindofamanbuthe
    didn’
    tcheatonEazi
    ratherheabusedher
    .”
    “
    ThankGodshelef
    thi
    m,todayshewoul
    dn’
    tbe
    wher
    esheisi
    fshehadnotlef
    t.
    ”
    “Iknow.If
    eelgui
    l
    tyri
    ghtnow, i
    fIdi
    dn’
    tmarr
    y
    herbabydaddyIwoul
    dhav elongwentl
    ooki
    ng
    forherj
    obathercompany.”
    “It
    oldyouthoughandy oudidn’
    tli
    stentome.
    Youhelpedt hatt
    hinglookforajobandnowhe
    hasturnedintosomet hi
    ngelse.Whoev ertol
    d
    himthathecancheatal lhewant sifhehas
    moneyf or
    gott otel
    lthem aboutprotect
    ion.”
    “
    All
    Iam pr
    ayi
    ngf
    ori
    sthatheact
    ual
    l
    ydi
    es.
    ”
    Hermot
    herl
    aughed.“
    Binaweh!
    ”
    “Iam t el
    lingyou.Heshoul
    ddi
    esoIcanenjoy
    myl i
    f e.Noonewi ll
    call
    meadivor
    cee.Iam
    prayingt hatAIDSshowshimfl
    amesthenhe
    dies.Mal colm andmydaught
    erar
    ebetterof
    f
    withouthi m.”
    “
    Youar
    escar
    ingme.By
    e.”
    Binahunguppar ki
    ngatt hehotel
    andst epped
    outwithherdaughter.Shewalkedinsi
    det he
    hotel
    andsmi l
    edatt herecept
    ioni
    st.
    “
    Hi,
    Iam her
    eformyf
    ull
    packageatt
    hespa.
    ”
    Therecept
    ionistdi
    rectedhert
    henshefoll
    owed
    di
    rect
    ionsgoingtot hespa.Walki
    nginshe
    smil
    edast heywelcomedherandt ookher
    sl
    eepingdaughter.
    “
    Wewi
    l
    llayheronourr
    est
    ingbeds.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    At
    her
    api
    stt
    ookhert
    othef
    aci
    alr
    oom wher
    e
    shel
    ayonthebed,aspacoul
    dbeagood
    busi
    nesspl
    anbutonl
    yaft
    erMoemedidi
    ed.

    *
    **

    Li
    naopenedherey esfeeli
    ngabodybesi des
    her
    sthent ur
    nedslowlyandlookedatTan.She
    smil
    ed,theyhadwatchedmov iestil
    llat
    e.There
    wassomet hi
    ngabouthim captiv
    ating.She
    sl
    owlygotupandwal kedt ot
    heki t
    chenwher e
    shefr
    iedhim afewthings.Herphoner angthen
    shepicked.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Am Ispeaki
    ngt
    oLi
    naAt
    tor
    ney
    s?”
    “
    No,
    thi
    sisnott
    heof
    fi
    ce,
    thi
    sisLi
    naher
    sel
    f.
    ”
    “
    Ehmma,
    Ihav
    eani
    ssue.Ineedhel
    p.”
    “Idon’
    tworkonSundays,
    youcancomet
    othe
    offi
    cetomorr
    owmor ni
    ng,0730?
    ”
    “
    That
    ’sok.
    ”
    “
    AndpleaseknowIchar
    geconsul
    tat
    ion.Hav
    ea
    l
    ovel
    yday.”
    Shehungupj
    ustasTanwal
    kedi
    nsi
    det
    he
    ki
    tchen.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    Li
    naturnedwi
    thasmi
    l
    e.“
    Sit
    ,Iam done
    cooki
    ng.”
    Tansatdownandwat chedherdishforhi
    m.
    Sheputhispl
    atebeforehi m.“
    Thanky ouf
    or
    comingyest
    erday.Don’trememberwhenIl ast
    j
    ustrel
    axedli
    kethat.Thanksfri
    end.”
    “
    Youhav
    est
    art
    ed.Iam noty
    ourf
    ri
    end.
    ”
    Li
    nal
    aughed.“
    Thenwhatar
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Yourboyfr
    iend,Iappoi
    ntedmysel
    f.Youar
    e
    miser
    abl
    ysingle.Whenlastdi
    dyouhavesex?
    ”
    “
    Awhi
    l
    eago.
    ”
    “
    Waaka!(Lies.
    )Youl
    asthadsexwi
    thy
    our
    f
    atheri
    n-l
    aw.”
    “
    Whydi
    dIt
    ell
    yout
    hatf
    or?
    ”
    “
    Youwer
    edr
    unk,
    Iknowev
    ery
    thi
    ng.
    ”
    Li
    napaused.“
    Whatel
    sedi
    dIsay
    ?”
    “Thatyourhusbandr
    eplacedyouwit
    hyour
    sist
    erandt haty
    ourmotherki
    ll
    edher
    sel
    f.Also
    yourmot herinl
    awcaughtyouwit
    hherhusband
    andstroked.”
    “
    That
    ’sal
    l
    ?”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    Shesmiled.“
    Iregretsl
    eepi
    ngwit
    hmyf atheri
    n-
    l
    awbyt heway ,i
    fIweren’
    tsodesper
    ateIwould
    haveneversl
    eptwi t
    hhim.”
    “
    Myf
    atheri
    slat
    esoIam notwor
    ri
    ed.
    ”
    Shel
    aughed.“
    Mxm.Eat
    !”
    “
    Iam gl
    adIknowev
    ery
    thi
    ng,
    forour
    r
    elat
    ionshi
    pthat
    ’sagoodst
    art
    .”
    “
    Youar
    ecr
    azy
    .”
    Tanl
    eanedov
    erandki
    ssedher
    .“Am I
    ?”
    “
    Idon’
    tli
    kebabymamadr
    ama.
    ”
    “
    AndIdon’
    thav
    eany
    .Myki
    dsst
    aywi
    thmy
    mot
    her.
    ”
    Li
    nal
    ookedathi
    mf orawhil
    eandsmi
    l
    ed
    l
    ooki
    ngbackatherpl
    ate.

    *
    **

    Thabi
    le’
    smot
    herspoket
    oGi
    naont
    hephone
    paci
    ng.
    “Ihearyoubutmysoni
    scur r
    entl
    yonav acati
    on
    withhiswif
    eandwedon’twanttodisturbthem.
    Youshouldaskyour
    sel
    fifyourdaughteris
    mat ur
    e,wholeav
    esachi
    ldwithastranger?”
    “
    What
    ’si
    mport
    antr
    ightnowisfi
    ndi
    ngAshl
    ey,
    t
    her
    estwi
    ll
    comeafterthat
    .”
    “Wewi l
    lhavetowaitti
    ll
    Abecomesback
    becauseasf arasweareconcerned,wedon’
    t
    knowany t
    hing,Hedidn’
    ttel
    lusanythi
    ng.
    ”
    Thabi
    l
    e’smot
    herl
    ookedatherhusband.
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Goodby
    e.”
    “Idon’twhereIwentwrongwiththi
    schil
    d.I
    t’
    s
    obviousthatthi
    sfamil
    ywon’tevenconsi
    der
    thi
    schi l
    d.”
    “
    Theywi
    l
    lconsi
    derher
    ,it
    ’scul
    tur
    e.”
    “Payi
    ngdamageswon’ tmeananythi
    ng,t
    heywil
    l
    neverbeapartofherl
    ife.Di
    dyouhearwhat
    shejustsai
    d?Theyaregoingtohavetowai
    tti
    l
    l
    Abecomesback.”
    “
    Wej
    usthav
    etocont
    inuel
    ooki
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Abedoesn’
    tcar
    eforher
    ,hej
    ustwant
    edt
    o
    sl
    eepwithherandhedid.Hedi
    dn’
    twantt
    his
    babybutshekepthert
    hinki
    ngmaybehewoul
    d
    comebacktoher.”
    “
    MaybeitwasAbewhoor
    gani
    zedfort
    hechi
    l
    d
    t
    obekidnappedt
    osav
    ehi
    mself.
    “
    Abeisnotl
    i
    ket
    hat
    .Hei
    sast
    rai
    ghtf
    orwar
    d
    man.
    ”
    Herphoner
    angt
    henshepi
    cked.“
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Goodmor ning,it
    ’sDet ect
    iveRetsa,two
    childr
    enwer efound, oneatthebor derwit
    ha
    strangecoupletakingherwi thtoSout hAfr
    ica.
    Theot heronewasf ounddeadatMochudi with
    herheadmi ssing.Shecancomet oidenti
    fy
    thesetwobabi es.Wear eatthehospital
    .”
    “
    Ok,
    thanky
    ousomuch.
    ”
    Thedetect
    ivehungupthenshequickl
    ycal
    led
    herdaught
    erwhileherhusbandl
    ookedather
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Thabil
    e,let
    ’sgot othehospi
    tal.Theyf
    oundt
    wo
    babies,onealive,onedeadwithnohead.You
    needt oidenti
    fythem.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Shehungt
    henwal
    kedoutwi
    thherhusband.
    “
    Whi
    chhospi
    tal
    ?”
    “
    Letmecal
    landask….
    ”

    *
    **

    Atthef arm,Iwalkedouti nmyswi m sui


    twhich
    hadst r
    ingsaroundmyst omachandmyent ir
    e
    back.Ilookedatt heopenedpool holdi
    ngmy
    glassofwi neont heot herhandthenwal ked
    overtot hebeachl oungerchairunderabi g
    orangeumbr ell
    aandl aydownr el
    axingwi t
    hmy
    sunglasseson.It ookasi pofmywi neasAbe
    stoodinf r
    ontofmei nshor t
    sonly.
    “
    Doy
    ouwantt
    otakeawal
    kdownt
    her
    iver
    ?”
    “
    Yeah…”
    Igotupandt
    ookmygl
    ass.“
    Let
    ’sgo.
    ”
    Hel
    ookedatmycostumeputt
    inghi
    shandon
    mywaist
    .“Don’
    tyouwantt
    oputonsomethi
    ng
    ont
    op?”
    “
    No,doyouhav
    eapr
    obl
    em wi
    thwhatIam
    wear
    ing?
    ”
    “
    No.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sonl
    yusei
    therway
    .”
    Hetookmyhandandl edmetot hebackyard
    wherether
    iverwaspassi
    ngby.Ilookedatthe
    waterf
    lowi
    ngquietl
    ynotmaki
    ngasi nglesound.
    “
    Whatwasy
    ourdad’
    spl
    anwhenheboughtt
    his
    f
    arm?
    ”
    “
    Hewantedt
    oploughbuttheplanwentdown
    t
    hedr
    ainwhenhestar
    tedploughi
    nginBots.
    ”
    “
    Isee.
    ”
    Abest
    oppedwal
    ki
    nghear
    ingv
    oices.
    “
    Wai
    t…”
    “
    What
    ’swr
    ong?
    ”
    “Ithi
    nkt
    hewor
    keri
    sher
    efi
    xi
    ngt
    hef
    encet
    his
    side.
    ”
    “
    So?
    ”
    “
    Hecan’
    tseey
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Why
    ?”
    “
    Becausey
    ouar
    ehal
    fnaked!
    ”
    “
    Peopl
    eatt
    hebeachwal
    kli
    ket
    his.
    ”
    “
    Youarenotpeopl
    eatt
    hebeach,
    youar
    emy
    wi
    fe.
    ”
    Thewor kersmil
    edemergi
    ngfrom thebush
    thenlookedatmeandquickl
    ylookedaway.He
    turnedandwalkedawayal
    mostr unni
    ng.Abe
    turnedtome.
    “Youaregoi
    ngtoputonadress,
    Iam not
    negot
    iati
    ngwit
    hyou.Iam t
    ell
    i
    ngyou.
    ”

    *
    **

    Atthehospit
    al,
    Thabil
    ewalkedtothepolice
    offi
    cerwholedhertowherethedeadchi l
    dwas.
    Thenursetookoffthesheetl
    ett
    ingherlookat
    theheadl
    esschildwhowasst i
    l
    ldressed.
    “
    Ist
    hisher
    ?”
    Tear
    sfil
    ledThabi
    le’
    schil
    dasshelookedaway
    .
    Shebursti
    ntoaloudcryput
    ti
    ngherhandson
    herf
    ace.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe
    #50

    Thabi
    l
    eshookherheadcr
    ying.
    "I
    t'
    snotmybaby
    .Ashl
    eyi
    sli
    ghtskinned.And
    shehasabi
    rt
    hmarkonherankl
    e."
    Thedetecti
    venodded."
    Comeandi
    dent
    if
    ythe
    otherone.
    "
    Theywalkedoutandmadet heirwaytoanot
    her
    sect
    ionthenshelookedatthebabywho
    defi
    nit
    elywasn'
    thers.Shesteppedbackf
    eel
    ing
    weak.
    "
    It
    snother
    ."
    "
    Wewi
    l
    lkeepl
    ooki
    ng.
    "
    "Whatift
    heyhav
    eki
    l
    ledmybabyl
    i
    ket
    hat
    baby?"
    "
    Youhav
    etobehopef
    ul.
    "
    "
    Iam responsi
    blef
    oral
    lthi
    s.Ishoul
    dn'
    thav
    e
    l
    efther.
    "
    "Youar erightaboutthat.Whaty oudidiscal l
    ed
    childnegli
    genceandy ouar egoingtobe
    chargedf ort hat
    .Alotofy ouyoungwoman
    priori
    ti
    zehav i
    ngfunthanput t
    ingy ourki
    dsf i
    rst
    andsucht hingsenduphappeni ng.Thereisno
    responsiblemot herwhol eavesherchi l
    dwi t
    ha
    totalstr
    angersot ogoandhav efunoutt her
    e."
    Thabi
    lewipedhert
    eatst
    hem wal
    kedout
    .Her
    motherl
    ookedather.
    "
    Wasshet
    her
    e?"
    "
    Ngng,
    theyar
    egoi
    ngt
    okeepl
    ooki
    ng.
    "
    "
    Wewi
    l
    lfi
    ndher
    ."
    "
    Didy
    out
    alkt
    otoAbe'
    smot
    her
    ?"
    "Yesbutt
    her
    ei snot
    hingshecandot
    il
    lAbe
    comesbackfrom hi
    sv acat
    ion.
    "
    "
    Hischi
    l
    dismi
    ssi
    ng!Heshoul
    dbeher
    e."
    "Youmeanthechi
    l
    dhe'sbeendeny
    ingsi
    nce
    shewasborn?Hehasn'
    tseent
    hatchi
    ld,
    not
    evenonce.
    "
    "
    Eveni
    fhedeni
    esher
    ,it
    sst
    il
    lhi
    schi
    l
    d."
    "It
    hinky
    oushoulddiv
    ertyourenergytoAshl
    ey.
    Thepoli
    ceisontopofit
    ,Abe'spresencewon'
    t
    makeadi f
    fer
    ence.
    "
    "
    IknowEazi
    -"
    "Howmanyt imesdoy out alkaboutthatwoman
    i
    naday ?Andt othinkshedoesn' tev
    encare
    abouty ou.Youar esobi tt
    erbecausey ou
    thoughtt helovey ouonceshar edwiththatman
    wasst il
    lthere.Hel ovesanot herwomanThabi l
    e
    andi t
    st i
    mey ouaccept edt hat.Youhati
    nghis
    wifewon' tchangei t.Andf oryourowngoody ou
    betterstartrespectingherbecauseIdoubtshe
    i
    sgoi ngt oacceptAshl eybecauseAshl eyisa
    resultofinfedil
    it
    ysoy ouneedt obevery
    careful.
    "
    "
    Abewoul
    dnev
    erabandonhi
    sonl
    ydaught
    er.
    "
    "
    Youwi
    l
    lbesur
    pri
    sed.
    "
    "IknowAbe, heisjustfrust
    ratedrightnow
    tryi
    ngtomaket hatsham ofamar ri
    agewor k,he
    doesn'twanttolooklikeaf ail
    ureandt hat
    'swhy
    heisbehav i
    ngthewayhei s.Hewi llcome
    around.Ifhelovedandr espectedhissocal led
    wifethenhewoul dhav enev ersl
    eptwi thmei n
    thefir
    stplace.
    "
    “Ifhelovedy ouhewoul dhavenev ermarri
    ed
    hiswife.Youwer eonlyasextoytohim andits
    ashamet haty outakethatf
    orlove.Thatman
    doesn'tlovey ou,youneedtoacceptthatand
    respecthiswi fe.ShemightnotwantAshley
    any wherenearherf amil
    ybutmay beifshesees
    howr emor sefulyouareshewillr
    econsider.
    "
    "Abei
    sAshley’
    sfat
    herandt
    her
    eisnot
    hingEazi
    candotochangethat
    ."
    Thabi
    l
    e'smot
    hershookherheadi
    ndef
    eat
    t
    hem wai
    tedforherhusbandwhowasst
    il
    l
    l
    ooki
    ngforparki
    ngoutsi
    de.

    *
    **

    Ti
    no'sphonerangashewalkedaisl
    ebyail
    sein
    ashoplooki
    ngf ort
    hepadsLil
    l
    ianhadsenthi
    m.
    Hetookitouttaki
    ngapackofpadsthatl
    ooked
    si
    milar
    .
    "
    Hel
    l
    o?"
    "
    Son,
    canwet
    alk?
    "
    Hesi
    ghed."
    Whatdoy
    ouwant
    ?"
    "Iknowyouar
    est i
    l
    langr
    ybutIt
    hinki
    tst
    imewe
    buriedt
    hehatchet
    ."
    "YouandIhavenothingtoburrybecausey ou
    didn'
    tdoanyt
    hingtome, justdi
    sappoint
    edme.
    Youmademeal iar
    .Til
    ltodayIcan'
    ttellAbethe
    entir
    etr
    uthbecauseitwouldconti
    nuet otear
    downt hef amily.Betterhebeli
    evesy ouraped
    herthanact uall
    yknowi ngy ouhadanaf f
    airwith
    hi
    sgi r
    lfr
    iendf oralongt imeandt hatyou
    actual
    lyhav eachi ldwithher.Abeismybr other
    andheshoul dknowal lt
    hisbutIhav ekeptmy
    si
    lencetopr eser v
    et heli
    ttl
    epeacel eft
    .Don't
    pushme. "
    "
    IknowandIappr
    eci
    ateyoursi
    l
    ence.Buti
    t'
    s
    t
    imewemov edonfr
    om t
    hepast."
    "Thepasti
    sstil
    li
    nthepresentbecausey
    ou
    conti
    nuely
    ing.Youhav
    en'tchangedonebit
    .I
    havenothi
    ngtoburr
    ywithy ou.
    "
    Tinohungupandl ookedatt hepadsagai n,he
    wassur eherswer epinkaswel l.Het ur
    nedto
    walkawayandspot tedTsotlheinjeansandaT-
    shir
    t.Shenowhadhi pshedi dn'
    tev enknowshe
    had,shewasdef init
    elynottheTsot lhehe
    remember ed.Shesmi ledont hephone
    obli
    vioustohim showi ngherbeautifulsmil
    e.
    Hewalkedoverandsnatchedherphone.She
    t
    urnedherheadthenpausedwhilehehungup.
    "
    Tino.
    ..
    "
    "
    Lookwho'
    sal
    lgr
    own.
    "
    Shel
    aughed."
    Beenl
    ong.
    "
    "
    Didy
    oupass?
    "
    "
    48poi
    nts.
    "
    "
    That
    'smygi
    rl
    ."
    Shesmi
    l
    edshy
    ly."
    Thanks.
    "
    "
    Wher
    ear
    eyoust
    udy
    ing?
    "
    "
    UB.
    "
    "
    Study
    ing?
    "
    "
    Civ
    ilengi
    neer
    ing.
    "
    "
    That
    'sawonder
    ful
    choi
    ce.
    "
    Hi
    sphoner
    angthenhetooki
    toutandswi
    ped
    t
    hescr
    eencut
    ti
    ngthecall
    .
    "
    Arey
    oudone?Iwi
    l
    lgi
    vey
    oual
    i
    ft.
    "
    "
    Iwant
    edt
    ogetaf
    ewt
    hings.
    "
    "
    Sti
    l
    lst
    ayi
    ngwi
    thy
    ourmom?
    "
    "
    Yes,
    shel
    ostherl
    egsoIhav
    etobet
    her
    e."
    "
    Got
    aket
    hebi
    gtr
    oll
    ey.
    "
    "
    Tino-
    "
    "
    Goandt
    akei
    t.
    "
    Shegrabbedanear
    byt
    rol
    l
    eyt
    henhet
    ooki
    t
    fr
    om her.
    "
    Wear
    egoi
    ngt
    odoal
    ltheshoppi
    ngy
    ouneed.
    "
    "
    Ican'
    tl
    ety
    oudot
    hat
    ."
    "
    Iam doi
    ngi
    t.Whatdoy
    ouneed?
    "
    Shelookedathimt hi
    nki
    ngoft hesit
    uat
    ionback
    home, herall
    owancewasbar el
    yenoughto
    coverallt
    heexpensesandhersi bl
    i
    ngsneeded
    newuni f
    ormsandhermot herneededthe
    pai
    nkil
    lersforherpai
    n.Shelookedathi
    m
    knowi ngthi
    stimearoundhewoul dsur el
    y
    demandsomet hi
    ngi
    nr eturn.Shet ookadeep
    breaththennoddedgr abbingt henear estempt y
    trol
    leyandwal kedai
    slebyai sleput t
    ingthings
    i
    nside.Hegr abbedanot hertroll
    eyoncet hef i
    rst
    onewasf ul
    landsheputmor ethingsbudget i
    ng
    forthenextmont h.
    “
    Iam done.
    ”
    “
    Areyousure?Don’
    tyouwantsomet
    hingf
    or
    y
    oursel
    f?”
    “
    No,
    it’
    senough.
    ”
    Hepushedbot ht r
    oll
    eystothecashi erwho
    stoodupl ookingatthem andst art
    edr unningall
    theitemst hr
    ought hebarcoder eader.Tino
    disappearedinsidetheshopleav i
    ngher
    standingtherewonder i
    ngifhewascomi ng
    backorwasj ustgoingtoleaveherwi thallthe
    things.Oneoft hesupermarket’
    sst affwalked
    overhelpingtopack.Tinowal kedbackhol ding
    acoupleofsnacksi
    ncl
    udi
    ngt
    heFer
    rer
    oRocher
    chocol
    ates.
    Thecashierf
    ini
    shedandl
    ookedatTi
    no.
    “P2880.
    00.”
    Het ookouthiscardandswiped.Theywal ked
    outwhilehepushedoneoft hetrol
    l
    eywhi lethe
    supermarketstaffmemberpushedt heother
    onef ol
    l
    owingaf t
    erthem.Attheparkingl
    ot,
    Tinopackedev er
    y t
    hingi
    nthebootandt i
    pped
    thestaffmember .
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    Heopenedt
    hedoorf
    orTsot
    lhe.“
    Geti
    n.”
    Shegoti
    nwit
    hapoundi
    nghear
    twonder
    ing
    whathewasgoi
    ngt
    odoinret
    urnoft
    hemoney
    hehadpai
    d.
    “
    Arey
    ouok?
    ”
    Tsot
    lhenodded.“
    Yes.
    ”
    Hest
    art
    edt
    hecaranddr
    ovet
    oherhouset
    hen
    par
    kedatt
    hegat
    e.
    “
    Opent
    hegat
    e.”
    “
    Tinomymom-
    “
    “
    Iwi
    l
    ldeal
    wit
    hher
    .Opent
    hegat
    e.”
    “Idon’
    twantt
    odisr
    espectmymot
    herby
    bri
    ngingamaninheryar
    d.”
    “
    Tsot
    lheweh?
    ”
    “
    Rra?
    ”
    “
    Bul
    agat
    e.”
    Sheswal l
    owedthensteppedoutandopened
    thegate.Hedrovei
    nandpar kedneart he
    entrancewhi
    leheryoungerbrotherwalkedout
    surpri
    sedtoseeacarintheiryard.Tsotl
    he
    watchedhim st
    epoutstari
    ngatt heirsmall
    house.
    “
    Iwantt
    oseey
    ourmot
    her
    .”
    Shenoddedsi
    l
    ent
    lyandwal
    kedi
    nsi
    det
    he
    housetowher
    ehermot
    herwaspl
    ait
    ingher
    si
    ster
    .
    “
    Mama,
    ther
    eissomeoneher
    etoseey
    ou.
    ”
    Hermotherlookedatherandwi
    pedherhands
    onherdress.
    “
    Tel
    lthem t
    ocomei
    n.”
    Shewal kedoutfindi
    nghim chat
    ti
    ngt oher
    brotherthencal
    ledhimin.Tinowalkedinwit
    h
    hishandst oget
    herandgreetedhermother
    respectf
    ully.
    “
    Howar
    eyouson?
    ”
    “
    Iam f
    inemam,
    your
    sel
    f?”
    “
    Iam good.
    ”
    “
    Tsot
    lhe,
    giv
    ehi
    m achai
    r.
    ”
    Shegavehim achairandsatontheotherchai
    r
    whil
    eherheartpoundedasifitwoul
    djustleap
    andrun.
    “
    Mynamei
    sTi
    noTaf
    ir
    a.”
    Tsot
    lhe’
    smot
    herl
    ookedatTsot
    lhe.“
    Ishet
    he
    one?
    ”
    Shenoddedwhi
    l
    eTi
    nowat
    chedconf
    used.
    “Tsotl
    hetoldmeabouty ouandInevergotthe
    chancetothankyouforsendingherbackthat
    night
    .Ifyouwereanyotherman,hewouldhav e
    takenadvantageofherbecauseofher
    desperat
    ion.”
    “
    It
    ’snot
    hing,
    anysensi
    blemanwoul
    dhav
    edone
    t
    hesame.”
    “
    Andnotev
    erymani
    ssensi
    ble.
    ”
    “
    Ibumpedint
    oherandboughty
    ouafewt hi
    ngs
    t
    ohelpar
    ound.Shet
    oldmeabouty
    ourleg.”
    “Iwasinvol
    vedinacaracci
    dent
    ,theyhadto
    amputateonelegbecausei
    twasbey ond
    damaged.”
    “
    Iam v
    erysor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok,
    Ihav
    emov
    edon.Tsot
    lhehel
    psar
    ound.
    ”
    “Iboughtaf
    ewthi
    ngs,
    Ihopey
    oudon’
    tfi
    nd
    offensei
    nit
    .”
    “
    Youdi
    dn’
    thav
    etoson.
    ”
    “
    Tsot
    lhei
    smor
    eli
    kemyy
    oungersi
    ster
    .”
    Hermot
    hersmil
    edrel
    axi
    ngthenhegotupand
    gott
    hegr
    ocer
    yfrom t
    hecar
    .
    “
    That
    ’sal
    l
    .Iwi
    l
    lcomebyanot
    herday
    .”
    “Thankyousomuch,
    mayt
    heLor
    dkeep
    blessi
    ngyou.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Hewal
    kedout
    sidewi
    thTsot
    lhewhosmi
    l
    ed.
    “
    Thankyou.Idon’
    tknowwhaty
    ouwanti
    n
    r
    etur
    nbut-
    “
    “
    Iwantnothi
    ngi
    nret
    urn.Ij
    ustwant
    edt
    ohel
    p,
    t
    hat
    ’sal
    l.
    ”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    Hetookherphonefr
    om hi
    spocketadpaged
    hi
    mselfbef
    orehandi
    ngitback.
    “
    Waj
    ola?
    ”
    “
    No.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Helookedatthedoort
    henleanedov
    erand
    ki
    ssedherli
    ps.“Keepi
    tthatway.
    ”
    Hegoti
    nhi
    scaranddr
    oveof
    f.

    *
    **

    Atthehospi
    tal
    ,Ginawal
    kedi nTasha’
    sward
    andfrozest
    ari
    ngatherthinbody.Shecoul
    d
    seeherbonesall
    out.I
    tdidn’
    tevenlookli
    keher
    daughter
    .
    “
    Tasha!
    ”
    Tashasl
    owl
    ylookedathermot
    herwi
    tht
    ear
    sin
    herey
    es.“
    Mama…”
    Ginaputherhandoverhermout
    hinshock.She
    couldn’
    tbeli
    vet
    hatwasherdaught
    erl
    ooking
    l
    ikeawal ki
    ngskel
    eton.
    “
    Whogav
    eitt
    oyou?
    ”
    “
    Moemedi
    …”
    “
    Didn’
    tItel
    lyoustayawayf
    rom t
    hatman?You
    t
    houghteveryonewasagai
    nsty
    oubutnow
    l
    ook!”
    “
    Ilov
    ehi
    m.”
    Ginachuckl
    ed.“
    Wenamoloiogoloi
    lengosul
    e!
    (Thewit
    chwhobewit
    chedyouisdead.)
    ”
    “
    Isi
    twr
    ongt
    olov
    eaman?
    ”
    “Youar etheonet osti
    llsayt hat
    ?Hav ey ou
    l
    ookedaty ourselfonthemi rror
    ?Idon’thave
    wor dsforyou.What ev
    ert hatmanf edy ouis
    strong.Youst ayediny ourhouseev enwhen
    sicktoapoi ntofal mostdy ingy ety
    ouhav ea
    degree.Youar
    estil
    lrunningamanwho
    obvi
    ouslyisacheatbutofcausey oucan’
    tsee
    anyt
    hingbecauseyouar esocrazyinl
    ovewi t
    h
    him.Youneedhelp,may betheyneedtotake
    youtoSabranabecauseIcan’tdealwit
    hthis.
    ”

    *
    **

    Lat
    erthateveni
    ng,Bi
    natypedonherphone
    smil
    ingwhil
    eMoemedi vomitedi
    nthetoi
    let
    .He
    wal
    kedbackandl aybesi
    dehersweati
    ng.
    “
    Iam notf
    eel
    i
    ngwel
    l
    .”
    “
    Got
    othehospi
    tal
    then.
    ”
    “
    No,
    Ithi
    nkIwi
    l
    lbef
    ine,
    justaheadache.
    ”
    “
    Youdi
    dn’
    teat
    .”
    “Ihaveasor
    ethr
    oatbutIdr
    anksomesal
    twat
    er
    solut
    ion.
    ”
    “
    Uhu,
    ok.
    ”
    Shet ur
    nedgivinghim herbackandcont i
    nued
    onherphonewhi leheshiver
    edsweati
    ng.He
    gotupandt ookabi gblanketandgotbacki n
    bedwi t
    hthebl anketontopofhim cur
    lingonit
    tr
    y i
    ngtofightoffthecold.Tot
    all
    yunmov ed,
    Binalaughedonherphoneandt ypedreplyi
    ngto
    herchat.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #51

    TWOMONTHSLATER
    AtMal colm Refresher
    s,Iparkedmycarand
    steppedoutr ockingmybl ackbondagedress
    andheel s.Iwalkedinsi
    det hepremi
    sesheaded
    tomyof f i
    ceandsatdownasThabi lebur
    stin
    andlookedatmeangr i
    ly
    .
    “
    HowcanIhel
    pyou?
    ”
    “
    Youar
    eanev
    ilwomanEazi
    !”
    Iopenedmyl apt
    opandsighed.“
    Getoutofmy
    offi
    ceThabi
    le.Thi
    sisnotyourpl
    ayground,
    respectmyspace.’
    ’
    "Younotacknowl
    edgi
    ngmydaught erdoesn'
    t
    meanshedoesn'texi
    st.Shei
    sther
    eandAbei s
    herfat
    her.
    "
    "
    Okso?
    "
    "
    Stopst
    andi
    ngbet
    weent
    hei
    nver
    ti
    ble.
    "
    Il
    aughed."
    Yourchi
    l
    dispr
    obabl
    ydeadwher
    ever
    shei
    s."
    Thabi
    l
    e'sl
    i
    pst
    rembl
    edasshel
    ookedatEazi
    .
    Tear
    srandownhercheeks.Sheputherhands
    onherfacecr
    ying.
    "
    Can'
    tyouunder
    standwher
    eIam st
    andi
    ng
    f
    rom?"
    "Samewayy oudi
    dn'
    tunderst
    andwhereIwas
    standingfr
    om whenyousleptwi
    thmyhusband.
    Idon'tevenknowwhatyouwantfrom me.
    "
    "
    Bri
    ngbackmydaught
    er!
    "
    "
    Youar
    est
    il
    lont
    hat
    ?"
    "
    Youdon'
    twantherbondingwi
    thAbebecause
    y
    oucan'
    tgiv
    ehim achil
    d!"
    "Andwhywoul dIwantt okeepy ourchildfrom
    herfather
    ?Thabi leIdon'
    tcar ewhaty outhink
    ofmeorwhaty outhinkIdid,yourchi l
    dmi ght
    bedeadoral i
    ve,eit
    herofthet wowon' tstopme
    from l
    i
    v i
    ngmyl i
    fetothefullest.Ify
    out hi
    nkyou
    areheretot akeawaymypeace, ifthatwas
    yourplan,youar egoingtobev er ydisappoint
    ed.
    Leave.
    "
    "
    Youar
    enotgoi
    ngt
    ogetawaywi
    tht
    his!
    "
    Bof
    elowal
    kedi
    nandl
    ookedatThabi
    l
    eandat
    me.
    "
    Bossl
    ady
    ..
    ."
    "Canyoul
    eadthiswomanout
    ,sheseemst
    o
    notrememberherwayt
    othedoor.
    "
    “Youaregoi
    ngt
    oregr
    ett
    his!Yourkar
    mai
    s
    coming.
    ”
    “Li
    kehowyourar
    mai
    sdeal
    i
    ngwi
    thy
    our
    ight
    now?Shame…”
    Thabi
    l
    etur
    nedandst
    ormedout
    .
    "
    Mor
    ningB.
    ..
    "
    "
    Yourmeet
    ingwi
    thMr
    .Jacobi
    sin10mi
    nut
    es.
    "
    "
    Ok,
    didy
    oucal
    ltheshi
    ppi
    ngcompany
    ?"
    "Yes,
    wouldy
    oul
    i
    keust
    oli
    stAbeTr
    ust
    couri
    ers?
    "
    "
    No.Hav
    eyoucal
    l
    edt
    hel
    awy
    er?
    "
    "
    Idi
    d,shewi
    l
    lbeher
    eat2t
    oday
    ."
    "
    Ok,
    thanks.
    "
    "
    Mrs.Mokwenai
    nvi
    tedyoutooneofthe
    meet
    ingssei
    sat
    tendi
    ng,shoul
    dIRVSPy ou?
    "
    "
    When?Iam f
    lyi
    ngt
    oEuropewit
    hmyson
    tomor
    rowmorni
    ngandIam goi
    ngt
    hrough
    Dubai
    ."
    "
    Today
    ,lat
    eron.
    "
    "
    Ok,
    let
    'sseehowi
    tgoes.
    "
    "
    Yesmam."
    Shewalkedoutwhi
    l
    eIsmil
    edt
    hinki
    ngoft
    he
    sur
    pri
    seAbewasgoingt
    oget.

    *
    **

    Ginasl
    owlyf
    edTashasoftpor
    ri
    dgeasshe
    swall
    owedsl
    owl
    y.Gina'
    sphonerangt
    henshe
    st
    oodupwal
    ki
    ngawayanswer
    ing.
    "
    Hel
    l
    o?"
    "Hi
    ,whoisthi
    s?Ifoundy
    ournumberi
    nmy
    husband'
    sphone.
    "
    Gi
    na'
    sheartasshet
    houghtofMy
    kel
    '
    swi
    fe,
    she
    wassur
    eitwasdefi
    nit
    elyher
    .
    "Hi
    ,thi
    sisShocksPanel
    Beat
    ing.Howcanwe
    hel
    py ou?
    "
    "
    Oh,
    noi
    tsok.
    "
    ShehungthenGi nawalkedbacktoTashaand
    cont
    inuedfeedi
    ngher.Thedooropenedand
    Takuwalkedin.Holdi
    ngaphar macysmall
    pl
    asti
    cbag.
    "
    Thi
    sisal
    lIgot
    ."
    "
    Thanks.Shei
    sdoneeat
    ing.
    "
    “
    Shei
    sgai
    ningabi
    t.
    ”
    "
    She'
    sgoi
    ngt
    obef
    inei
    fwecont
    inuet
    aki
    ng
    careofher
    .Thepr oblem i
    sthatshesti
    ll
    says
    shelovesMoemedi .Thesamemanwhogav e
    herthi
    svir
    usandal ltheSTD’sshehas.It
    ’sj
    ust
    sadthataf
    teral
    lthissheisgoingtogoback.”
    “
    Isn’
    tshedat
    ingEazi
    ’
    sex?
    ”
    “Sheis,t
    hat’swhyshehat esEazisomucht hat
    sheistheonewhosuppor tedThabil
    eallalong.
    Abetoldmeshewi sheddeat honLeleand
    that
    ’swhyt heydon’tspeakbecauseher eali
    zed
    hiswifesti
    l
    l cr
    iesatnightbecausethi
    sone
    wishedbadonherdaught er.Abehasn’
    tcome
    toseeherbecausehesai difhehasto,hewi l
    l
    choosehisf amil
    ynotsomeonewhowant sto
    destr
    oyhisf amil
    y.”
    Takul
    ookedatTashainshock.“Sheisnot
    goi
    ngbacktothatman,matteroffact
    ,Iam
    goi
    ngtoseehi
    m personal
    lyandhewi l
    lexpl
    ain
    tomewhat’
    sgoingon.”
    “
    Ihear
    dhei
    ssi
    ckt
    oo.
    ”
    “
    Iam st
    il
    lgoi
    ngt
    oseehi
    m.”
    Tashamadet
    inysoundsandt
    heybot
    hignor
    ed
    her.

    *
    **

    Thabi lewal keddownt hestr eethol


    dingan
    umbr ella,eachst epshet ookgotheav ierand
    heav ierasshet riedtot hi
    nkofwher eher
    daught ercoul dbe.Tear sf i
    l
    ledherey est hen
    shest oppedwal kingcr yi
    ng.Shehaddone
    ev erything, evensol dhercart opayt he
    traditi
    onal healerwhosai dhecoul dhelpherbut
    ther ewasst i
    llnot hi
    ng.Itseemedev eryonehad
    forgot tenabouthermi ssingchi l
    dexpectonl y
    her .Al oudsobescapedt hroughherl i
    ps, she
    cov eredhermout hcr yi
    ng.Pai nslashingher
    ev erywher e.Acarst oppedbyt henthedr iver
    rolleddownhi swi ndowst aringathercr ying.
    Thedr
    iverst
    eppedoutandl
    ookedather
    .
    “
    Hi,
    what
    ’swr
    ong?
    ”
    “
    Mydaughteri
    smissi
    ng.I
    t’
    sbeent
    womont
    hs,
    I
    j
    ustwantmydaught
    er.
    ”
    Thedriverhuggedherwhileshecried,hehadall
    hi
    schildrenatthebackseatstar
    ingatthe
    str
    angel adycr
    ying.Thabi
    lefi
    nal
    lykeptqui et
    andsteppedbackwi pingawayhert ears.
    “
    Wil
    lyoubef
    ine?
    ”
    Shenodded.“
    Yes.Iwi
    l
    lbef
    ine.Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Myki
    dsandIcangi
    vey
    oual
    i
    ft.
    ”
    Shecaref
    ull
    ylookedathi
    mt henhistwokids,
    a
    gi
    rlandayoungboy .“
    Youdon’thaveto.
    ”
    “
    Comeon,let
    ’sgo.Af
    tercr
    yingont
    hesi
    der
    oad,
    y
    oudeser
    veit.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Shewal
    kedr
    oundt
    hecarandgoti
    n.Hel
    ooked
    atherwi
    thasmi
    l
    e.
    “Hi
    ,mynamei
    sRichar
    d,t
    hesear
    emyki
    ds,
    EmmaandKar
    abo.”
    Thabi
    l
    esmi
    l
    ed.“
    Nicemeet
    ingy
    oual
    l
    .”
    Emmacaref
    ull
    ylookedatherpuf
    fyey
    es.“
    Why
    wer
    eyoucryi
    ng?”
    “
    UhbecauseIam l
    ooki
    ngf
    ormybaby
    .”
    “
    Wher
    eisshe.
    ”
    “
    Shewasst
    olen.
    ”
    Emmagasped.“
    Daddy
    ,weneedof
    indt
    he
    baby
    !”
    Ri
    char
    dnodded.“
    Yessweet
    y.”
    Hestart
    edthecaranddroveoffwhil
    ehi
    ski
    ds
    satdown.Emmal ookedatThabi
    le.
    “Ial
    socr
    iedwhenmamawenttoheav
    en.But
    nowIam fi
    ne,
    Idon’
    tcr
    yev
    eryday
    .Wewillf
    ind
    baby.
    ”
    Thabi
    l
    enodded.“
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Richar
    ddrovetoherhousewhil
    eshedir
    ect
    ed
    hi
    m.Awhi lel
    aterhestoppedt
    hecarbyher
    parent
    ’sgat
    e.
    “Thanky
    ousomuch.ThankyouEmmaand
    Karabof
    orcheer
    ingmeup.
    ”
    Thekidssmi
    ledt
    henRi
    char
    dst
    eppedoutwi
    th
    her
    .“Ihopey
    oufi
    ndher
    .”
    “IhopeIdotoo.If
    eeli
    fIdon’
    tthenmyl
    i
    fei
    s
    notgoingt
    obet hesame.”
    “Ofcausei
    twi
    l
    lneverbethesame.Iwi
    l
    lpr
    ayi
    t
    doesn’
    tcomet
    othat.St
    aystrong.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Hegotbackinhi
    scaranddr
    oveof
    fwhi
    l
    eshe
    wal
    kedinsi
    dethegat
    e.

    *
    **
    I
    nthecar
    ,Emmal
    ookedatherf
    athercur
    iousl
    y.
    “
    Daddy
    ?”
    “
    Huh?
    ”
    “
    Whydidn’ty
    ouaskhert
    obeourmommy
    ?She
    i
    sni
    certhanyouknowwho.
    ”
    Ri
    char
    dlaughed.“
    Ibr
    okeupwi
    thAuntySyl
    vi
    a.
    Andnotever
    ywomanImeetwi
    llbeyournew
    mommy .
    ”
    “Butshei
    sniceandIl
    i
    keher.Youshoul
    dtel
    l
    hertobeournewmommy .
    ”
    “Itdoesn’tworkli
    kethatsweet
    ybutmaybein
    thefuture,notnow.Sheissti
    ll
    looki
    ngf
    orher
    baby .
    ”
    “
    Ifwef
    indherbabyt
    henshewi
    l
    lli
    keust
    oo.
    ”
    Ri
    chardlookedathert
    hroughthemirr
    or
    wonderi
    ngwhenhi s9yearolddaught
    ergrew
    sobi
    gt hatshecoul
    dsayallshewassaying.He
    woulddef
    ini
    tel
    ybl
    amet
    heEngl
    i
    shmedi
    um
    school
    .

    *
    **

    AtTino’
    shouse,Li
    ll
    i
    ancookedwhi leholdingher
    phonesmili
    ng.Shewipedherotherhandonher
    apronandtypedwit
    hbothhandsl aughing.
    Unawareofthepotburni
    ng,shewal kedfrom
    thekit
    chentothesi
    tti
    ngroom wit
    hherey es
    focusedonherphone.
    MeanwhileTi
    nopar kedhiscarandwal ked
    i
    nsidethehouse.Hef rownedattheburning
    smellt
    henrushedt othekitchenpassi
    ngLil
    li
    an
    whowasbusyonherphoneandt ookt
    he
    burni
    ngpotoutside.Li
    lli
    anquickl
    yputher
    phonedownf ol
    lowingaf t
    erhim.
    “
    OhmyGod!If
    orgot
    !”
    “
    Howdoy
    ouf
    orgetsi
    tt
    ingi
    nsi
    det
    hehouse?
    ”
    “
    Ireal
    l
    yfor
    got
    .Youcamebackear
    ly.
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    ther
    eissomet
    hingIwant
    ed.
    ”
    Hewal kedbackinsi
    dethehousewithafrown
    andtookherphonef r
    om thecouch.Li
    l
    li
    an
    qui
    cklysnatchedit
    .
    “
    Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngwi
    thmyphone?
    ”
    Tinol
    ookedatherforawhi
    le.“
    Iam di
    ali
    ngmy
    phonebecauseIf
    orgoti
    there.
    ”
    “
    Oh,Iputi
    tnt
    hebedr
    oom byt
    hedr
    essi
    ng
    t
    abl
    e.”
    “
    What
    ’si
    nthatphone?
    ”
    “
    Myphone?Not
    hing.
    ”
    “
    Giv
    eitt
    ome.
    ”
    “
    Why
    ?”
    “
    Lil
    l
    y,gi
    vemet
    hatphone.
    ”
    “
    Iam notgi
    vi
    ngy
    oumyphone.Inev
    ert
    ouch
    yourphone.Ev
    ery
    oneshoul
    dst
    ickt
    othei
    r
    phones.
    ”
    Ti
    noangr
    il
    ylookedather
    .“Eit
    hery
    ougi
    vei
    tto
    meoryouleav
    e,ri
    ghtnow.”
    “
    ButIhav
    enowher
    etogo.
    ”
    “
    Who’
    spr
    obl
    em i
    sthat
    .Leav
    emyhouse.
    ”
    Lil
    l
    ianhandedhimthephonethenTinoscrol
    led
    thr
    oughitandopenedherl
    astchat.Hreadthe
    fl
    ir
    ter
    ousmessagesthenthel
    astmessages
    whichweretal
    ki
    ngabouthervisi
    ti
    ngtheguyt o
    havesexwithhi
    m.
    “
    Ijustmethi
    m,i
    t’
    snot
    hing.
    ”
    Tinosighedandgavebackthephone.“Iam
    verygladyoudidthi
    s,Iwantyoutoleav
    emy
    houseandgot ohishouse.Iam gi
    vingyouten
    mi nut
    estoleav
    e,youdon’twanttoseethe
    othersideofme,Iswearyoudon’t
    .”
    Li
    l
    li
    anl
    ookedathi
    m pl
    eadi
    ng.“
    BabeIam
    sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Leav
    emyhouseLi
    l
    li
    an.
    ”
    Shewentdownonherknees.“
    Itwi
    l
    lnev
    er
    happenagai
    n.”
    “Iwil
    lslapyououtofmyhouse.Don’tt
    akemy
    coolnessforst
    upidi
    ty.Getoutofmyhouse!
    Nxla.”
    Li
    ll
    iantookherbagcryingthenlookedathim
    beforewalki
    ngoutwhilehewentt ohis
    bedroom andtookhisphonewal ki
    ngout.He
    gotinhiscaranddrovepassingLil
    li
    anwalking
    i
    nt heroad.

    *
    **

    Bi
    nal
    etMoemedi’
    suncl
    e’
    sinsi
    det
    hehouse
    sl
    i
    ght
    lysmi
    li
    ng.
    “
    Daught
    eri
    n-l
    aw,
    howar
    eyou?
    ”
    “Iam str
    essed,
    woul
    dyoul
    i
    keany
    thi
    ngt
    o
    drink?
    ”
    “
    May
    beweshoul
    dseehi
    mfi
    rst
    .”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Shel
    edthem tot
    hebedr
    oom whereMoemedi
    wasl
    yingonthebedshi
    ver
    ing.Hehadl
    ostso
    muchweight
    .
    “
    Jesus!
    ”
    “Hewon’ tgotothehospi
    talbecausehesayshe
    doesn’thaveHIV.Hesayssomeonebewi t
    ched
    him becausehehasgottensosuccessful
    .I
    don’tknowwhatt odoanymor e,Ikeepmi
    xi
    ng
    theherbshewant sbutnothi
    ngishappeni
    ng.”
    Oneoftheuncl
    esshookhi
    shead.“
    Thi
    sis
    AI
    DS!”
    “
    Iti
    s,heneedst
    ogetmedi
    cat
    ion.
    ”
    Theyounguncl
    esighed.“
    Theycan’
    tfor
    cehi
    mif
    hedoesn’
    twant.
    ”
    “Thenhei sgoingtodi einthehouseandthe
    blamewi ll
    beputonhi swifewhohasbeen
    nothingbuthelpful.It
    oldhimt ostopseei
    ngso
    manywomenandhedi dn’
    tli
    sten.Hei
    sgoingt
    o
    diejustl
    ikehisfatherdied.
    ”
    Binawalkedoutwhi l
    etheytalkedbetween
    themsel
    v es.Shemadet eaanddi shedscones
    thenputitont het
    able.Shetookherphoneand
    call
    edEazi.Thephoner angforawhi l
    ethenshe
    fi
    nall
    yanswer ed.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Eazi
    ,hi
    ,i
    t’
    sBi
    na.
    ”
    “
    Oh-hi
    !”
    “UhhmmaMoemedi i
    ssick.Heseemslikeheis
    goingt odi
    eany ti
    mefrom now.Hewas
    sleepingwit
    ht heenti
    recommunityandgotall
    thesicknessinthewor l
    d.Hedoesn’
    twanttogo
    tothehospitalandthesymptomshav egott
    en
    wor se.Iam t
    elli
    ngyouincaseyoumightwant
    t
    obr
    ingMal
    col
    mtoseehi
    m bef
    orehedi
    es.
    ”
    “Iam sorr
    ybutIcan’
    tdot hat.Moemedi refused
    toseehissonwhenhewasst i
    llhealt
    hyandI
    doubthehaschangedhi smi nd.Iam v erybusy
    soIcan’tbepartofi
    t.Iam reall
    ysor r
    yy ouhad
    toendupwi t
    hsuchamanf orahusband.I
    alwaysknewhewoul dturntobel ikethis.”
    “
    It
    ’sok,
    Icoul
    dhandl
    eit
    .”
    “
    Okby
    e.”
    Bi
    nahungupj
    ustashi
    suncl
    eswal
    kedout
    .
    “
    Whatdi
    dhesay
    ?”
    “Herefused.Weshoul
    dfor
    cehi
    mtot
    he
    hospi
    tal!
    ”
    Theotheruncl
    esshookt
    heirheads.“
    Thisone
    knowshisstat
    us.Heisj
    ustref
    usingtr
    eatment
    ,
    hewantstodie.
    ”
    “
    Imadet
    ea.
    ”
    Theuncl
    eswal
    kedt
    othedi
    ngt
    abl
    ewher
    ethey
    allsatdowntry
    ingt
    ocomeupwi thaway
    forwardwhil
    eshewalkedbackt
    ot hesi
    tt
    ing
    room fei
    gni
    ngsadness.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #52

    Li
    nashookhandswi
    thhercl
    i
    entt
    henhewal
    ked
    outasLebot
    hawal
    kedin.
    “
    Dragonl
    ady
    …”
    Li
    nachuckled.“Youhav
    est
    art
    ed.Shoul
    dn’
    tyou
    beatschool?”
    “
    Iam donef
    ort
    heday
    .”
    “
    Howi
    sit
    ?”
    “
    It
    ’sokt
    houghsomepeopl
    elookatmei
    na
    f
    unnyway.
    ”
    “
    Ignor
    ethem.
    ”
    Aknocker upt
    edf r
    om t
    hedoort henthe
    recept
    ioni
    stwalkedinholdi
    ngf l
    owerswit
    ha
    boxofchocolates.“
    Deli
    veryforyou.
    ”
    Sheputitonthetabl
    eandwalkedoutwhil
    e
    Lebot
    hacuriousl
    ywatchedasLinat
    ookthe
    fl
    owersandinhal
    edthem
    “
    Whosentt
    hem?
    ”
    “
    Noty
    ourbusi
    ness!
    ”
    Lebothalaughed.“
    Ok,
    butcanIhav
    ethe
    chocolat
    es?”
    “
    No,
    goandl
    ookf
    ory
    ourownboy
    fri
    end.
    ”
    “
    Theydon’
    twantme.
    ”
    “
    Har
    dluckbabes.
    ”
    Li
    nat
    ookherr
    ingi
    ngphone.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “IknowIwassupposedtocomet
    odaybutIam
    heldupatwor
    k.Tomorrow.”
    “
    Ilov
    ethef
    lower
    s.Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Any
    thi
    ngf
    ory
    ou.
    ”
    Li
    nalaughedthenhungupjustasTendai
    wal
    kedinsideherof
    fi
    ce.Lebothal
    ookedather
    .
    “
    OkAunt
    y,Iwi
    l
    lseey
    ou.
    ”
    Linat
    ookaP100not
    eandhandedi
    ttoher
    .
    “Bye.
    ”
    ShewalkedoutasLi
    nafi
    xedherat
    tent
    ionon
    Tendai
    .“HowcanIhelpy
    ou?”
    “
    Youar
    edoi
    ngwel
    lfory
    our
    sel
    f.
    ”
    Li
    nasmil
    ed.“Thanky
    ou.YouknewIwoul
    d
    al
    waysbounceback.
    ”
    “
    Canwet
    alkaboutus.
    ”
    Li
    nachuckl
    ed.“
    Ther
    eisnous.
    ”
    “Iknowi twasunfai
    rtolety
    ouwalkoutwith
    nothingwheny ouhelpedmegetever
    ythi
    ngI
    havet oday.
    ”
    “Itdoesn’
    tmatt
    eranymore,
    Iam gl
    adIwal ked
    outwi t
    hnothi
    ng,Idon’
    toweyouanyt
    hing.It’
    sa
    fairgame.”
    “Iam t
    hinki
    ngofmov
    ingout
    ,youcant
    aket
    he
    house.
    ”
    “I
    t’
    sok,soonIam buyi
    ngmyown.Youcan
    keept
    hatoneforyourkidswi
    thLonas.
    ”
    Shestoodupandgrabbedherhandbagand
    somef i
    l
    es.“
    Ihaveacourtcase.Ni
    ceseei
    ng
    you.
    ”
    Tendaisi
    ghedthenwalkedout.Li
    napickedher
    chocol
    atesandwalkedoutlocki
    ngbehindher.

    *
    **
    Lat
    erthatday,
    Ismi
    l
    edwi
    thAnay
    awal
    ki
    ngout
    toourcars.
    “
    Am It
    heonl
    yonewhol
    ovesmaki
    ngmoney
    ?”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Youar
    enotal
    one.
    ”
    Weappr oachedourcarsasaclassyl
    ady
    steppedoutofhercar.Anayasmil
    edatheras
    shenoddedoncewal kingpastus.
    “
    Who’
    sthat
    ?”
    “Oh,sheisanactuary.Badassi
    nwhatshedoes.
    Unapologet
    icandv er
    yexpensiv
    etoo.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ouf
    ori
    nvi
    ti
    ngme.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    ewel
    come.Wewi
    l
    ltal
    k.”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    Igotinmycaranddr ovehomeaf t
    erpasi
    ngby
    debonnairstogetdi
    nner.MyphonerangasI
    walkedinsidet
    hehouseholdngtheboxofpiz
    za.
    Malcolm’snannytookthepi
    zzawhileIwal
    ked
    tomybedr oom answeri
    ng.
    “
    Babe?
    ”
    “
    Hey
    ,ar
    eyouhome?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Imi
    ssy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Iknow,
    Imi
    ssy
    out
    oo.
    ”
    “Yousaidyouwoul
    donl
    ypl
    ayonegamenott
    he
    enti
    reseason.
    ”
    “
    Iknowbuttheyneedmebabe,Ial
    soneedto
    r
    eti
    repr
    ofessi
    onal
    lyl
    eav
    ingalegacybehi
    nd.
    ”
    “
    Imi
    ssy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Imi
    ssy
    out
    oo.Youshoul
    dhav
    ecomewi
    th.
    ”
    “
    Ishoul
    dhav
    e.”
    “
    Howi
    sTasha?
    ”
    “
    Isawhery
    est
    erday
    ,shei
    sget
    ti
    ngbet
    ter
    .”
    “Thanks,
    Iknowshehur
    tyoubutt
    hanky
    ouf
    or
    nothati
    ngher.
    ”
    “Idon’
    thav
    eti
    met owast
    e.Moemedi
    ’
    swi
    fe
    call
    edmetoday.
    ”
    “
    Say
    ing?
    ”
    “Hei
    ssick,
    hedoesn’
    twantt
    ogot
    hehospi
    tal
    .
    Shesay
    shei sdy
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Sheshoul
    dfor
    cehi
    mther
    e.”
    “
    Ireal
    l
    ydon’ tcar
    eaboutMoemedi
    ,hecandi
    e
    f
    orallIcar
    e.”
    “
    Hei
    sst
    il
    lMal
    col
    m’sf
    ather
    .”
    “Iknowbuthedeni
    edhi
    sson.ThereisnothingI
    cando.Him dy
    ingi
    snotmybusiness,ofcause
    Malcwil
    lbesadbuthi
    sfat
    herdeniedhim.”
    “
    Wher
    eisMal
    c?”
    “
    Doi
    nghi
    sschool
    wor
    k.”
    “
    Letmet
    alkt
    ohi
    m.”
    Iwalkedoutwi
    thmyphoneandgav ei
    tto
    Malcolminhi
    sroom thenwalkedout.
    Malcolm’
    snannytookherhandbag.
    “
    Iam goi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ousomuch.IknowhowMal
    ccanbe.
    ”
    Shesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Wear
    efr
    iendsnow.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Shewalkedoutj
    ustasMal
    col
    m wal
    kedupt
    o
    mewithmyphone.
    “
    Hesai
    dhewi
    l
    lcal
    ll
    ater
    .”
    “
    Ihopey
    oudi
    dn’
    ttel
    lhi
    m.”
    “
    No!Wear
    est
    il
    lgoi
    ngmommy
    ?”
    “
    Yes.IboughtPi
    zza.
    ”
    “
    Teachersai
    dpi
    zzai
    snotheal
    thy
    .”
    Il
    aughed.“
    It
    ’snotbutt
    hat’
    sourdi
    nnert
    oni
    ght
    .
    Mommyi stooti
    redtocook.
    ”
    MyphonerangasIwal
    kedt
    otheki
    tchent
    o
    di
    sh.“
    Ontl
    a…”
    “
    Hey
    ,Akany
    angwant
    stomeett
    heki
    ds.
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Wow!
    ”
    “
    IknowbutIam notsur
    e.Idon’
    twanttoi
    nvol
    ve
    t
    hekidsandl
    aterbr
    eakthei
    rheart
    s.”
    “
    Youhav
    etotakeari
    skbutAkany
    angseems
    l
    i
    keagoodguy,hei
    ssof
    tandconsider
    ate.
    ”
    “
    Ithi
    nkImi
    ghtl
    ovehi
    m.”
    “
    Lies!Youl
    ovehi
    m.”
    “
    Ibumpedi
    ntoTan.
    ”
    “
    And?
    ”
    “If
    eelIneedtogethi
    m outofmysy st
    em.I
    can’
    thelpbutwonderhowoursexwoul dhav
    e
    been.Heseemslikehegiv
    esitgood.”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Focusony
    ourmanandl
    eav
    eTan.
    ”
    “Iam t
    ell
    ingyou.AndIknowheisthi
    nki
    ng
    aboutitt
    oo.Thewayhel ooksatmesaysal
    ot.
    ”
    “
    Pleasedon’
    thur
    tAkanyang,ifyouandTan
    wanttogobacktoi
    t,j
    ustletAkanyanggo.
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    twantTan,
    Ijustwantt
    ogetf
    uckedby
    hi
    m andgobackt
    omyman.
    ”
    “
    Youwi
    l
    lst
    artcompar
    ingt
    hem,
    trustme.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    eanov
    ert
    hinker
    .”
    “Pl
    uswhenAkany angf i
    ndsout,itwil
    ldestr
    oy
    therel
    ati
    onshi
    p.Ipersonall
    ydon’tknowwhar
    youthi
    nkbutcheati
    ngr uinsthi
    ngs.Itwil
    lnever
    bethesamei ntherel
    ati
    onship.”
    “
    Arewest
    il
    ltal
    ki
    ngaboutAkany
    ang.
    ”
    “
    Iam j
    ustsay
    ingbecauseIunder
    standhowi
    t
    f
    eel
    stobecheated.
    ”
    “
    Howar
    ethecounsel
    i
    ngsessi
    onsgoi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Fine.AbeandIwil
    lbef i
    ne.Iam happywear
    e
    worki
    ngonit,
    heistransparent
    .”
    “
    Whatabouthi
    sbabymommas?
    ”
    “
    Ayaabor
    ted.Sheneversai
    danyt
    hing,
    Thabi
    le
    i
    ssti
    l
    lonmycase.IswearIam goi
    ngtorepor
    t
    t
    hatwomanoneday .
    ”
    “
    Ignor
    eher
    ,shewi
    l
    lgett
    ir
    ed.
    ”
    “Evenifshefindsherdaught
    er,
    it’
    snotgoingto
    makeadi ff
    erencebecauseIam notgoingto
    everacceptthatchi
    ld.
    ”
    “
    Iwoul
    dn’
    ttoo.
    ”
    “
    Iam goi
    ngt
    oFr
    ancet
    omor
    row.
    ”
    “
    Sur
    pri
    singhubby
    ?”
    “YesandIam readyforababy
    .If
    eelIam bei
    ng
    unfai
    ronhim.Hei sr
    aisi
    ngMalcl
    ikehi
    s,he
    deser
    vesthi
    s.”
    “
    Iam pr
    oudofy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Iam proudofmysel
    ftoo.”Ipausedl
    i
    steni
    ngt
    o
    aloudbangfr
    om t
    hesitt
    ingrom.
    “
    Mom!
    ”
    Ihur
    ri
    edtot
    hesit
    ti
    ngroom andl
    ookedatt
    he
    TVonthefl
    oorf
    acedown.
    “
    Mal
    c!”
    “
    Icoul
    dn’tfi
    ndtheremotesoIt
    ri
    eddoi
    ngi
    t
    manual
    ly
    , i
    tfel
    l
    .Itwasn’
    tmyfaul
    t.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    egoi
    ngt
    owat
    cht
    hewal
    l
    stoday
    !”
    Ihungupputt
    ingmyphonedownt henpul
    led
    theTVtothesideandputitagai
    nstthewall
    showingt
    hecrackedscreen.
    “Can’
    tyougetanot
    herone.
    ”
    “No!Youaregoingtolear
    nthatbr
    eaki
    ngthi
    ngs
    haveconsequencesandwecan’tj
    ustget
    anotherone.
    ”
    “
    Butdadywoul
    dhav
    egot
    tenanot
    herone.
    ”
    “
    Daddyi
    snother
    e.Youar
    egoi
    ngt
    owat
    cht
    he
    wal
    l
    s.Orgot
    osleep.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    enotni
    ce.
    ”
    “
    Inev
    ersai
    dIwas.Comeandgety
    ourf
    ood.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    eabusi
    ngme.
    ”
    “
    Iam what
    ?”
    “
    Youar
    eabusi
    ngme.
    ”
    “
    Thenl
    eav
    emyhousei
    fIam abusi
    ngy
    ou.
    ”
    Helookedatme,l
    i
    pst r
    embli
    ng.Atearr
    andown
    hischeekt
    henhesil
    entl
    ywalkedt
    othekit
    chen
    togethisf
    ood.

    *
    **

    Laterthatevei
    ning,Lonascleanedthekitchen
    aft
    erdi nnert
    henwal kedroom byroom
    switchingofftheli
    ghts.Shesatont hebed
    wonder ingwhereTendai was,i
    twaspr et
    t y
    unsual ofhimtobenothomeatt histi
    me.She
    pi
    ckedherphoneandcal l
    edhim.
    “
    Hil
    ove…”
    Lonas’
    shear
    tski
    pped.“
    Whoi
    sthi
    s?”
    “
    Mapul
    a.”
    “Whatar
    eyout
    ryi
    ngt
    odo?Tosendhi
    mtoj
    ail
    agai
    n?”
    “No,
    Iam gett
    inghim backthat’
    swhyheison
    mybed.Iam goingtoburstyouforyourl
    ies.I
    knowthatchi
    ldisnotTendai’
    sandIam going
    topr
    oveittohim.Samewayy outookhimisthe
    samewayy ouaregoingtolosehim.”
    “Youaredramat
    ic,
    youareaft
    erthemanyou
    sentt
    ojail
    .NowIseethatr
    eall
    yyouwerel
    yi
    ng
    aboutt
    herape.”
    Mapulalaughed.“Beli
    evewhatyouwantt o
    beli
    eve,
    Idon’tcare.Tendaii
    sherewi t
    hmeand
    ther
    eisnothingyoucandoabouti t.Hedoesn’
    t
    ewantyouany moreandhedoesn’ tknowhow
    togetri
    dofy ou.I
    fIwer eyouIwouldjust
    l
    eave.”
    “
    Iam notgoi
    ngany
    wher
    e!”
    “
    Sui
    tyour
    sel
    f.By
    e.”
    Shehungup,
    Lonasst
    aredatherphoneasher
    eyesit
    chedwi
    tht
    ear
    sti
    l
    ltheyr
    andownher
    cheeks.

    *
    **

    Ti
    nohandedTsot
    lhehi
    slapt
    opwi
    thasmi
    l
    e.
    “
    IhopeIgetmyl
    apt
    opt
    hewayIgav
    eitt
    oyou.
    ”
    Shelaughed."
    Whyar
    eyoust
    ressi
    ng?I
    t’
    ssaf
    e
    wit
    hme. ”
    Hehandedhert
    hespar
    ekeyst
    ohi
    shouse.
    “
    Dropitof
    fwhenyouaedonet
    omor
    row.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hel eanedoverandki
    ssedher.Tsot
    lheblushed
    steppingoutthenwal
    kedinsi
    dethey ar
    dwi t
    h
    thelaptop.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #53

    Thef ol
    lowingmorni
    ng,Icheckedmyhandbag
    forthetrav
    elli
    ngdocumentsthensi
    ghed
    walkingouttoMalcolm’
    sroom.
    “
    Mal
    c,l
    et’
    sgo.
    ”
    Hefi
    nishedt
    yinghi
    sshoel
    acesandgotup.“
    We
    ar
    egoingnow? ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Toni
    ghtwear
    egoi
    ngt
    oseedaddy
    ?”
    “
    Yes.Let
    ’sgo.
    ”
    Wewalkedoutt
    othecabout
    sideandgoti
    nas
    myphonerang.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Eazi
    ,hav
    eyouguy
    slef
    thomeal
    ready
    ?”
    “
    Yesma.
    ”
    “Ok,hav
    easafet
    ri
    pthen.Iwantedtoseey
    ou
    guysbefor
    eyoul
    eavebutit
    ’sf
    ine.
    ”
    “
    Ehmma.
    ”
    ShehungupthenIsi
    ghedhappi
    l
    y.Icoul
    d
    al
    readyseehi
    sfacewhenhesawMal candI
    .
    “
    Sowear
    ejustgoi
    ngst
    rai
    ghtt
    odaddy
    ?”
    “No,wearepassi
    ngt
    hroughDubaiandweare
    goingtodosomeshoppi
    ngwaiti
    ngforournext
    fl
    ight
    .”
    “
    ButIwantt
    ogost
    rai
    ghtt
    odaddy
    .”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Justr
    elax,
    youar
    egoi
    ngt
    oseehi
    m
    soon.
    ”
    "
    Ireal
    l
    ywant
    edt
    otel
    lhi
    m butIkeptqui
    et.
    "
    "
    Goodboy
    !"
    "
    Arewegoi
    ngt
    ost
    aywi
    thhi
    mther
    e"
    "
    Wear
    ejustv
    isi
    ti
    ng.
    "
    "
    ButIwantt
    ost
    aywi
    thhi
    m."
    "
    Hei
    sgoi
    ngt
    ocomeback.
    "

    *
    **

    LonaslookedatTendai
    walki
    ngi
    nboi
    li
    ngwit
    h
    angerbutsherat
    hersmil
    edir
    oni
    nghi
    sshi
    rt
    .
    “
    Goandbat
    h,y
    ouar
    egoi
    ngt
    obel
    atef
    orwor
    k.”
    Tendail
    ookedathersurpri
    sedthennodded
    goi
    ngtot hebedroom.Shefi
    nishedironi
    ngand
    wenttothebedroom wheresheputev er
    ything
    onthebedwhi l
    ehewalkedoutoft hebathroom.
    “
    Ever
    ythi
    ngi
    sher
    e.”
    Shesatonthebedandwatchedhi
    m dr
    ess
    qui
    ckl
    ythenhebrushedhi
    shair
    cut
    .
    “
    Imadebr
    eakf
    ast
    .”
    Heshookhi
    shead.“
    Iam good.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok.
    ”
    Helookedatheronelastt
    imethenwal
    kedout
    .
    Lonastookherphoneandcal
    ledanumber.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Hi
    ,wespokel
    astni
    ght
    .Iwantt
    owr
    it
    emyf
    orm
    5.”
    “
    Tot
    utorasi
    ngl
    esubj
    ecti
    sP350amont
    h.”
    “
    Ineed7subj
    ect
    s,doy
    oudohousecal
    l
    s?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    ThankGod,
    becauseIhav
    eachi
    l
    d.”
    “
    Icancometowher
    eyouar
    easl
    ongasy
    ouar
    e
    i
    nGaborone.
    ”
    “O,Iam goi
    ngt
    osendy
    oudi
    rect
    ionst
    omy
    house.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Lonasphonev
    ibr
    atedr
    epor
    ti
    ngani
    ncomi
    ng
    cal
    l.Shedr
    oppedthecal
    lwi
    tht
    het
    utor
    answeri
    ngtheot
    herone.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    LonasIwantmychi
    l
    d.Ihear
    dyouhav
    egi
    ven
    mychi
    ldtoari
    chman.”
    “
    Thami
    ?”
    “
    Iwantmychi
    l
    d.”
    “
    Ihavenochi
    l
    dwi
    thy
    ou.Inev
    erhadsexwi
    th
    y
    ou.”
    “Youcangetpregnantfr
    om whatwedi
    d.Isthat
    whyy oubrokeupwithme?Togoandgiveyour
    sist
    er’
    shusbandthatchi
    ldsoyoucandest
    roy
    yoursist
    er’
    smarri
    age?”
    “Mysoni
    snotyours!Evenifhewere,you
    shoul
    dbegl
    adthatar eal
    mani srai
    singhi
    m.
    Youcan’
    tev
    enbuyhi m asweet.
    ”
    “
    Iwantmysonandyouaregoingt
    ogiv
    ehi
    mto
    meorel
    seIam t
    alki
    ngy
    out ocour
    t.
    ”
    “
    Hei
    snotyoursyoustupidman!Got
    ocour
    tif
    y
    ouwantt
    o,Idon’tcar
    e.”
    Shehungupwi
    thapoundi
    nghear
    t.

    *
    **

    LaterthatdayTsot l
    heunl ockedTi no’
    sdoorand
    walkedi nlocki
    ngbehi ndher .Shelookedatt he
    notsocl eanhouseandputherbagdown.She
    l
    ookedar oundwithasmi l
    et hinki
    ngofallthe
    ni
    cet hingsTinohadbeendoi ngforher,notto
    ment i
    ont hosekissesshehadbeenr eceiv
    ing.
    Hehadn’ tsaidany t
    hingatal landshewasn’ t
    sureifhewasgoi ngtoorhewasamanof
    acti
    onsr atherbutitallexcit
    edher .Shestart
    ed
    cl
    eaningt hehouse, fr
    om hi sbedroom tothe
    ki
    tchenwher esheev enst ar
    tedcooking.
    Soonenoughadeli
    ciousar
    omafi
    l
    ledt
    hehouse
    whil
    eshecooked.Whendone,
    shewashed
    everyt
    hingshehadusedt henwal kedbackt o
    hissit
    ti
    ngr oom andt ookouthi
    sl aptopf rom
    herbagpl aci
    ngitont hetabl
    e.Shehear dacar
    dri
    vinginthenwal kedtothewindowandl ooked
    athim steppingoutofhiscartalkingont he
    phone.Shewal kedt othedoorandunl ockedit
    thenwentbackt ohi ssit
    ti
    ngroom andsat
    down.Ti noopenedt hedoorandwal kedin
    sli
    dinghisphoneinhi spocketthensmi l
    edat
    her.
    “
    Itsmel
    l
    sni
    cei
    nher
    e.”
    “
    Icooked.
    ”
    “
    Andy
    oucl
    eaned.
    ”
    Shestoodup.“Tot
    hankyouf
    ory
    ourl
    apt
    op.
    Andit
    ’sbackinonepi
    ece.
    ”
    “
    Doesy
    ourmom knowy
    ouar
    eher
    e?”
    “
    Yes,
    sheknowsIhav
    etodr
    opof
    fthel
    apt
    op
    t
    hengohome.”
    “
    Stayf
    orawhi
    l
    e,Iwi
    l
    ldr
    opy
    ouof
    f.
    ”
    Hewal kedov erthenkissedhersof t
    lybutthen
    movedhi shandst oherwaistpull
    inghercloser.
    Hisphoner angi nhispocketmaki nghim step
    backtakingi tout .Hewalkedtohi sbedroom
    answeringandTsot l
    hesatdownwor ri
    edly.He
    hadnev erkissedherl ikethatbeforeandshe
    wonder edwhatshewoul ddoi fhewantedsex,
    shehadn’ tshav ed.
    “
    Tsot
    lhe!
    ”
    Sheslowlyst
    oodupandwal
    kedt
    ohi
    sbedr
    oom
    thenstoodbythedoor
    .
    “
    Yes?
    ”
    “
    Tsena.(
    Comei
    n.)
    ”
    Shewalkedint
    henl
    ookedathim onl
    yinhis
    whit
    ebrief
    sandqui
    ckl
    ylookedaway.Tino
    chuckl
    ed.
    “
    Comeher
    e…”
    Herhear
    tst
    art
    edpoundi
    ng.“
    Rra?
    ”
    “
    Comeher
    e.”
    Sheswall
    owedhar dandt ur
    nedar oundthen
    wal
    kedov er.Ti
    nopulledhercloserthenki
    ssed
    meunzippingmydr essfrom behind.
    “
    Tinowai
    t…”
    “
    I….
    ”
    “
    Youar
    ewhat
    ?Av
    irgi
    n?”
    Shewhi
    sper
    ed.“
    YesbutIdi
    dn’
    tshav
    e.”
    “
    Letmesee.
    ”
    “
    Rra?
    ”
    “
    Letmesee.Takeof
    fthedr
    essandy
    ourpant
    y.”
    Helookedatherwait
    ingt
    henshesl
    owl
    y
    undr
    essed.Ti
    nolookedatherf
    orawhi
    l
    e.
    “Ther
    eisshav
    ingcr
    eam i
    nthebat
    hroom.You
    cangoandshave.
    ”
    Tsot
    lheputonherdr
    esst
    henr
    ushedi
    nsi
    det
    he
    bat
    hroom wit
    hherpant
    ytr
    yingt
    osquashher
    embarrassment
    .

    *
    **

    Ontl
    ametsiparkedhercari
    nf r
    ontofherex
    husband’
    smot her’
    shousethensteppedout
    andknocked.Hismotheropenedthedoorand
    smil
    ed.
    “
    Ont
    la!
    ”
    “
    Ma…”
    Theyhuggedt
    ight
    lyasOnt
    lametsi
    remember
    ed
    j
    usthowmucht hi
    swomanl ov
    edher.
    “
    Iam sohappyt
    oseey
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Howar
    eyou?
    ”
    Theywal
    kedi
    nsi
    det
    hehouseandsatdown.
    “
    Iam f
    inemydaught
    er,
    you?
    ”
    “
    Iam f
    inema.
    "
    "
    Isawy
    ourmessage.
    ”
    “
    Yes,Iwouldli
    ketost
    artstayi
    ngwiththekids.I
    movedoutofcampandIt hinkIam atthe
    r
    ight
    fulspacetost
    aywiththem now.”
    “
    That
    ’sst
    il
    lok.
    ”
    “
    Thankyousomuchfort
    aki
    ngcar
    eoft
    hem.I
    wi
    ll
    alwaysbr
    ingt
    hem ov
    er.
    ”
    “Youdon’
    thav
    etot
    hankmechi
    l
    d.I
    t’
    smyj
    obt
    o
    help.
    ”
    Herdaught
    err
    antowardsherpul
    li
    ngherbag
    t
    henhuggedhert
    ight
    ly.“
    Mama! ”
    “
    Himyl
    ove,
    wear
    egoi
    nghome.
    ”
    “
    Todaddyandhi
    snewf
    ri
    end?
    ”
    “
    No,
    wear
    egoi
    ngt
    ost
    ayal
    one.
    ”
    Herotherdaughterwal
    kedoversmil
    ingt
    hen
    cl
    imbedonherl aprest
    ingherheadonher
    chest
    .
    “
    Okguy
    s,sayby
    etogr
    anny
    .”
    Thekidswav
    edatt
    hei
    rgr
    andmot
    hermaki
    ng
    herl
    augh.
    “
    Yourki
    dsar
    etr
    icky
    .”
    Ont l
    amet sist
    oodupwi thhery oungest
    daughteri nherarmst henwal kedtothecar
    whi l
    etheirgrandmot herfol
    lowedwi ththei
    r
    bags.Sheputev eryt
    hingint hebootthen
    strappedherki dsatthebackbef or
    ehugging
    theirgrandmot heronelasttime.
    “
    Byema.
    ”
    “
    Bye!
    ”
    Shegoti
    nhercaranddr
    oveof
    fasherphone
    rang.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyout
    aki
    ngmyki
    ds?
    ”
    “Mmoloki
    ,It
    oldy
    ouIam goi
    ngt
    ost
    aywi
    thmy
    ki
    ds.
    ”
    “
    Ret
    urnt
    hosekidsri
    ghtnow,
    youar
    enott
    aki
    ng
    myki
    dsanywhere.
    ”
    ‘
    Youdon’
    tev
    enst
    aywi
    tht
    hem.
    ”
    “Retur
    nmykids.Youwanty
    ourboy
    fri
    endt
    o
    playhappyf
    amilywi
    thmykids.
    ”
    “Youarecrazy.Iam t akingmyki ds.Thecour t
    saidIhaveful
    l custodyoft hekids,justbecause
    yourmotherwashel pingmedoesn’ tmeant hey
    hadtostaywithherf orever
    .Butgoaheadand
    conti
    nuetryi
    ngme.Youseem t ot hinkIam the
    sameOnt l
    amet siyoumar ri
    ed.Iwi l
    lendy ourli
    fe
    andnoonewi ll ev
    erknow, Iam thatpersont hey
    callt
    ogetridofunwant edpeopl e.Tryit
    .”
    “
    Youar
    egoi
    ngt
    otakebackmyki
    ds.
    ”
    “
    Weshal
    lsee.
    ”
    Ont
    lamet
    sihungupandcont
    inueddr
    ivi
    ng.
    *
    **

    Binawal kedinsidethehousef r
    om adayout
    car r
    yingshoppingbags.Shewal kedwithher
    thingstothebedr oom andpausedatt hesmell
    .
    Hehadpr obablyshitt
    edhimself.Shewalked
    outoft hebedroom andwentt othesi
    tti
    ng
    room wher eshest art
    edt r
    yingal
    lhernew
    clothes.Shetookherr ingi
    ngphoneand
    answer edKopo’ scall
    .
    “
    Whatdoy
    ouwant
    ?”
    “
    Ithi
    nkweshoul
    dmeetandt
    alk.
    ”
    “
    Ihav
    enot
    hingt
    otal
    ktoy
    ouabout
    .”
    “
    Iam pr
    egnant
    .”
    “
    So?
    ”
    “
    Ineedhel
    p.”
    “
    From who?
    ”
    “
    Binay
    ouknowIam notwor
    king.
    ”
    “
    Gobackhomet
    hen.
    ”
    “
    Mamadoesn’
    twantmet
    her
    e.”
    “
    Idon’
    tknowwhaty
    ouwantf
    rom t
    hen.
    ”
    “
    Pleaset
    alkt
    oMoemedi
    .”
    “Yout
    alktohim,whenyoumadet hatbabyI
    wasn’
    tther
    e.Ihopethatbabycomeswi t
    hsome
    abnor
    malit
    iessi
    nceyouhav eSTD’
    sandSTI’s.
    ”
    “
    Iknowy
    ouar
    eangr
    y-“
    “Iam notev
    enangry.Don’
    tfor
    ceemot
    ionson
    me.Iam nottheonewhoissick,
    whyshoul
    dI
    beangry?Stoppl
    ayi
    ngonmyphone.”
    Binahungupthenputonherheel
    st r
    yingeach
    pair
    .Whendone,sheputonherglovesanda
    maskt henwal
    kedbacktothebedroom where
    Moemedi waslyi
    ng.
    “
    Moemedi
    !”
    Shewal kedoverandshookhi m.Her emained
    stil
    lthenshel ookedathi mf orawhi lethen
    changedhi sdiaperwit
    hasi gh.Shecleanedhim
    anddr essedhi m upinhisni ceclothesthen
    cleanedt heent i
    rebedroom budget ingforthe
    funeral.Shedisposedev er
    ythingandt ookher
    phonecal l
    ingtheambul ancest ar
    ingat
    Moemedi ’sdeadbody .Af t
    ertalki
    ngt othe
    ambul anceshecal ledhermot her.
    “
    Bina…”
    “
    Moemedi
    isdead.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Iwentoutandf
    oundhi
    m dead.
    ”
    “Whatashame,
    Ithoughthi
    sfami
    l
    yspoket
    o
    hi
    m.”
    “Heref
    used,
    theyweregoi
    ngtocomeback
    agai
    nwithhi
    sauntsbutheisgone.
    ”
    “
    Thati
    ssad.
    ”
    “
    Iknewhewasgoi
    ngt
    odi
    e.”
    “
    Ihopey
    ougi
    vehi
    m adi
    gni
    fi
    edf
    uner
    al.
    ”
    “
    Iam notgoi
    ngt
    owast
    emoneyont
    hischeat
    .”
    “
    Binaweh!
    ”
    “No.Canyoubeliev
    eKopojustcalledme,she
    wantsmet ohelpherwit
    hmoney .Iam not
    giv
    inganyonemymoney .Everyt
    hingismine
    andIam notgoingtowastemoneyonaper son
    whodoesn’tdeserveadi
    gnif
    iedfuneral
    .”
    “
    That
    ’snott
    hewayt
    obehav
    e.”
    “Heshouldhavetr
    eatedmer i
    ghtbecauseI
    act
    uall
    ylovedhim.Heshoul dbegladIam
    wil
    li
    ngtobuyacof f
    in.ForallIcar
    ewecanjust
    burr
    yhiminwhitesheets.”
    Sheheardtheambul
    ancet
    henhungupandr
    an
    outsi
    decryi
    ngandscr
    eami
    ng.Thepar
    amedi
    cs
    steppedout
    .
    “
    Hei
    sinsi
    de,
    hei
    snotmov
    ing.
    ”
    Theyfoll
    owedafterhertothebedroom wher
    e
    theparamedi
    cstouchedhim andlookedather
    cryi
    ng.Oneofthem walkedovertoBina.
    “
    Heisdeadal
    ready
    .Hehasbeendeadf
    ora
    whi
    l
    enow."
    Bi
    nascr
    eamedev
    enmor
    elouder
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #54

    Earl
    ymor ni
    ngatLyon-sai
    ntExupéryAirporti
    n
    France,
    IheldMalcol
    m’ shandaft
    erclearingus
    withourbagint
    heot herhandandwal ked
    towardst heexi
    tpassi ngalotofpeople.My
    heartpoundedwi t
    heachst epItookregret t
    ing
    whyIj ustdidn’
    ttellAbeaboutthesurprise.A
    cabstoppedbyt heent r
    anceandal adyst epped
    out.Iknockedont hewindowthenher olledi t
    down.
    “
    Bonj
    our
    ,oùal
    l
    ez-
    vous?
    ”
    Ilookedathi
    ml ostt
    hensmi l
    ed.“
    Hi,Iam goi
    ng
    tothispl
    ace…thataddr
    ess.”Igavehimthe
    pieceofpaper
    .“Canyoutakeus?”
    “
    Yes,
    geti
    n.”
    Hest eppedoutandputthebagi
    ntheboot
    whil
    eIset tl
    edatthebackwit
    hMalcolm.My
    heartbeganpoundingashedrov
    eof fwhi
    le
    Malcolml ookedoutt
    hewindowenti
    cedbythe
    for
    eignplace.
    “
    Mom,
    look!
    ”
    Il
    ookedatwher
    ehewaspoi
    nti
    ng.“
    That
    ’s
    beaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    “
    Iwantt
    ost
    ayher
    e.I
    t’
    sawesome.
    ”
    Il
    ookedathim andl
    eanedbackfight
    ingmy
    sl
    eep.Asmi l
    egrewonmyf aceasItri
    ed
    pi
    ctur
    ingAbeinmyhead.Ilookedatmyring
    andsmiled.
    Awhil
    elatert
    hecabdriv
    ersloweddownt hen
    par
    kedthecarinf
    rontofendlessapar
    tments.
    “
    Wear
    eher
    e,housei
    supst
    air
    s.”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Itookoutmypur
    seandgav
    eaf
    ewnot
    es.“
    Is
    thatenough?
    ”
    “No,i
    t’
    sal
    ot.
    ”Hegavemet
    hechange.“
    Hav
    ea
    safest
    ayMadame.
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Mer
    cibi
    en.
    ”
    Thedrivert
    ookoffl
    eav
    ingMal
    colm andI
    standi
    ngbesidet
    hebag.Hel
    ookedatmei n
    shock.
    “
    Youcanspeak?
    ”
    “
    Ilear
    ntt
    hati
    nthepl
    ane.
    ”
    Idraggedthebaginsi
    dethefl
    atsthenwal
    kedt
    o
    therecept
    ionhol
    dingthehousenumber.
    “Goodmorni
    ng,
    Iam goi
    ngt
    othi
    sapar
    tment
    number
    .”
    Themanatt herecepti
    onlookedatt
    hepi
    eceof
    paperandfr
    owned.“ Apol
    ogiesmadame,
    buti
    t’
    s
    apriv
    atesui
    te.
    ”
    “
    Iknow,
    myhusbandl
    i
    vest
    her
    e.”
    “
    Yourhusband?
    ”
    “
    Yes.AbeTaf
    ir
    a.”
    Helookedatmef orawhil
    ethenshookhis
    head.“
    Ican’
    tlety
    ouin,youneedtoleav
    eor
    el
    seIam call
    i
    ngthepoli
    ce.”
    “
    No,
    Iam hi
    swi
    fe.Eazi
    Taf
    ir
    a,t
    hisi
    sourson.
    ”
    Heshookhisheadnotconv
    incedt
    henI
    unl
    ockedmyphoneandshowedhim my
    weddi
    ngpictur
    es.
    “
    That
    ’smyhusband,
    see?
    ”
    Helookedatthem andshrugged.“
    Mighthave
    beenphotoshopped.St
    alkersdothemost.”
    “
    Iam notast
    alker
    ,Ihav
    emorepi
    ctur
    esand
    v
    ideos.Hei
    smyhusband,wear
    emar r
    ied.
    ”
    Helookedt
    hroughthevi
    deosandpict
    urest
    hen
    si
    ghed.“Mr
    .Abe’swif
    eisupther
    e,madame.”
    Ipaused.“
    What
    ?”
    “Mr
    .Abe’
    swif
    eandchi
    l
    dar
    eupt
    her
    e.Iam not
    sur
    ewhoyouare.
    ”
    “Iam hi
    swi
    fe.Icameallt
    hewayfr
    om Afr
    ica,
    Botswanat
    oseehim.”Igavehi
    m mypassport
    toget
    herwi
    thMalc’
    s.“
    Please…”
    Hel ookedatbot
    hoft hem andgav
    ethem back
    togetherwi
    thmyphone.“ Youneedtohav
    ea
    codet ogoupthere,
    doy ouhaveit
    ?”
    “Wej
    ustar
    ri
    ved,
    hedoesn’
    tknowthatwear
    e
    comi
    ng.Wewantedt
    osurpri
    sehi
    m.”
    “
    Ihav
    etocal
    landconf
    ir
    mifheknowsy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Ofcause.
    ”
    Ist
    eppedbackashemadeacal
    l
    .
    “
    Mommy
    ,ishegoi
    ngt
    oletusseedaddy
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Myhear
    tpoundedashespokeonthephone
    t
    henhelookedatme.“
    Whatisyourname?”
    “
    Eazi
    .
    ”
    Hewentbackonthephoneandspokefora
    whi
    l
    ethenfinal
    l
    yhungupstari
    ngatus.
    “Youcangoup. ”Hewr ot edownthenewcode
    andgavei tt
    omet henIpushedmybagi nsi
    de
    theli
    ft
    .Iswal l
    owedhar dwonderingwhatthe
    manatt herecept i
    onhadmeantbywi fe.Theli
    ft
    whiskedusupaf terIpressedthecode.Itooka
    deepbreathholdingMal col
    m’shandthen
    moment slater,Isteppedoutandwal kedinsi
    de
    theapartment.Thear twor konthewallhadmy
    hear
    dinmymouthasMalcandIsl
    owl
    ymade
    ourwayi
    nsi
    det
    hehouse.
    Unsur
    eofwhatt
    oexpect
    ,Il
    ookedar
    ound.
    “
    Daddy
    !”
    Malcol
    m scr
    eamedrunni
    ngacr
    osst
    her
    oom
    goi
    ngtothestai
    rswher
    eAbewascomi
    ng
    downfrom.
    “
    Champ!
    ”
    Hepi
    ckedhi
    m uplaughi
    ng.Isl
    owl
    ywal
    kedover
    t
    othem t
    henAbeputMalcdownandhugged
    me.
    “
    Thi
    sist
    hebestsur
    pri
    seev
    er…”
    Iputmyarmsar oundhi
    m andsi
    ghedfeel
    i
    ng
    hi
    sar msaroundmef ol
    l
    owedbytheti
    ght
    squeeze.
    “
    Imi
    ssedy
    ou.
    ”
    Heki
    ssedmeasMal
    col
    mranar
    oundt
    hehouse.
    “Ohmanthishousei
    sawesome!Daddy
    ,canwe
    staywi
    thyou?”
    “
    Yeahsur
    e.”
    Il
    ookedathi
    mt henblushedbury
    ingmyhead
    onthehol
    lowofhisshoulder
    slet
    tinghi
    m ki
    ss
    myneck.
    “
    Tir
    ed?
    ”
    Inodded.“
    Iam soexhaust
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evey
    ouar
    eher
    e.”
    “
    Met
    oo.
    ”
    Hekissedmeagai nsmi l
    i
    nghappi lythenwal ked
    tothekit
    chenwher eMal cwas.It ookt hestair
    s
    uptothef i
    rstr
    oom andpeaked.Thesecond
    onewashi sanditlookedbeaut if
    ul.Iwalkedi n
    andwalkedt othebalconywhi chov erl
    ookedt he
    cit
    y.Iwalkedbacki ntheroom thenundr essed
    walki
    ngtot hebathroom.Mi nuteslaterIcame
    outandfoundhi m seatedont hebed.
    “
    IsMal
    col
    m al
    readyasl
    eep?
    ”
    “
    Yeah,
    hewentoutl
    i
    keal
    i
    ght
    .”
    “
    Hedi
    dn’
    tsl
    eep,
    hewassoexci
    ted.
    ”
    “
    Whydi
    dn’
    tyout
    ell
    mey
    ouwer
    ecomi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Andr
    uint
    hesur
    pri
    se.
    ”
    “
    Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evey
    ouar
    eher
    e.”
    “
    Imissedy
    ou,
    Mal
    col
    m mi
    ssedy
    out
    oo.Iam
    r
    eady.
    ”
    “
    Readyf
    orwhat
    ?”
    “
    Forust
    otryf
    oranot
    herbaby
    .Icoul
    dn’
    twai
    tti
    l
    l
    y
    ouweredonewi
    thhere.
    ”
    Hesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Arey
    ouser
    ious?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Hestoodupandkissedmepull
    i
    ngmecl oser
    thendroppedmyt
    owel t
    omyfeet.Ipaused
    heari
    ngasoundfr
    om thecl
    oset
    .
    “
    Didy
    ouheart
    hat
    ?”
    “
    May
    besomet
    hingf
    ell
    .”
    Hepushedmet othebedandopenedmyl egs
    wide.Ibreathedheav i
    lyashebur i
    edhi shead
    betweenmyl egs,heli
    ckedandsuckedwhi l
    eI
    moanedgr abbingt hesheet s.Myl egsbegan
    vibrati
    ngasmyor gasm crushedmemaki ngme
    l
    ockhi m betweenmyl egsmoani nghi sname.
    Hef reedhimselfthent ookouthishar ddick
    andpushedt hr
    oughmywetf olds.Imoaned
    softyrecei
    vinghiskissest henhebegan
    thrusti
    ng.Anothersoundcamef rom thecloset
    .
    Iwhi
    spered.“
    Abe,
    ther
    eissomet
    hingi
    nthe
    cl
    oset
    .”
    “Babecomeon,it
    ’snot
    hing.Maybesomet
    hing
    i
    snotsitt
    ingpr
    operl
    ythere,mustbemy
    clot
    hes.
    ”
    Hekissedmeurgingtor el
    axwhil
    ehegaveme
    deepslowst
    rokes.Isighedrel
    axi
    ngmybody
    andmov edmywai stashedugdeeperi
    ntome.
    “
    Abe!
    ”
    Af
    emal
    evoi
    cescr
    eamedf
    rom i
    nsi
    det
    hecl
    oset
    .
    “
    Abe,
    ther
    eissomeonei
    nsi
    det
    hecl
    oset
    .”
    Hei
    gnor
    edmedr
    il
    li
    ngi
    ntome.
    “
    Abe!Thebabycan’
    tbr
    eat
    he.
    ”
    Ipushedhi
    m of
    fbr
    eat
    hingheav
    il
    yandwal
    ked
    tothedoor
    .
    “Abe,
    someonei
    sinsi
    de.Shewant
    syout
    o
    open.
    ”
    Itr
    iedopeni
    ngitbutitwasl
    ockedt
    henIl
    ooked
    athim wi
    thapoundinghear
    t.
    “Abeopent
    hisdoor
    ,shesay
    sthebabycan’
    t
    breat
    he.
    ”
    “
    Canwet
    alkf
    ir
    st?
    ”
    Ishookwithangerstar
    ingathi
    mt henpi
    cked
    myt owelandwrappeditar
    oundmybody .
    “Openthedoor,t
    hebabycan’tbreat
    he!
    ”
    “
    Ineedt
    otel
    lyousomet
    hingf
    ir
    st.
    ”
    “
    Openthedoor
    !Themandownstai
    rsj
    ustsai
    d
    yourwi
    fewasupher
    e,hewasr
    efusi
    ngtolet
    meup,openl
    etmeseeher.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’snotwhaty
    ouar
    ethi
    nki
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Openf
    orher
    !”
    Hef ixedhispant sthent ookoutt hekeyand
    unlocked.Ist oodstill
    cur i
    ouslyandAy a
    steppedandputherbabyont hebed.I
    remai nedfrozentomyspotassheshookt he
    baby .Abewal kedov erandt ookhert hen
    sprinkledwat eronherf acest ar
    tl
    ingher .The
    babygaspedandl ookedatt hem conf usedand
    slowlyclosedherey essleepingagain.Abe
    l
    ookedatAy a.
    “
    Shei
    sjustsl
    eepi
    ng.
    ”
    “Iam pani
    cked,
    Ithoughtshewasn’
    tbreat
    hing
    becauseshewassweat i
    ng.Iwasscar
    ed
    thi
    nki
    ngshewasn’ tbr
    eathi
    ngli
    keshewasn’t
    br
    eat
    hingwhenshewasbor
    n.”
    “
    Abe…”
    Hel
    ookedatme.“
    Icanexpl
    ain.
    ”
    “
    Abewhat
    ’sgoi
    ngonher
    e?”
    Ayaputherdaughterdownandwalkedov er
    .
    “Abehasbeensupporti
    ngSummerandIbut
    that’
    sall
    .IknowwhenIcamet oBotswanaI
    causeddramaandIapologi
    zebutIwillnot
    crossanyboundar
    iesagai
    n.SummerandIar e
    harmless.
    ”
    “
    Abesoy
    ouhav
    ebeenl
    yi
    ngt
    ome?
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    rybutIreal
    izedAy a’
    spr
    egnancywas
    i
    mpli
    cati
    ngourrelat
    ionshi
    pandIdidwhatI
    t
    houghtwasri
    ghtbackt hen.”
    “Iseeyoutakemef orafool
    .Youtol
    dmeshe
    abortedandnowy ouaretel
    l
    ingmey our eal
    i
    zed
    thepregnancywasimpli
    cati
    ngourrelat
    ionship,
    whendi dIsayIwasgoingtoleav
    ebecauseshe
    waspr
    egnant
    ?Shegotpr
    egnantbef
    oreme.
    ”
    “
    IknowandIam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “Youhav enev erseenmyot herside, i
    t’
    sonly
    thi
    ssi dethatyouknow.Youhav et akenmy
    quietnessforst upidit
    ybutcanIbl amey ou?I
    don’tblamey oubecauseIam t hesamewoman
    whomar ri
    edy ouev enafterrecei
    v i
    ngav i
    deoof
    youhav ingsexwi t
    hy ourex, Il
    ookedy ouinthe
    eyesandmar riedy oubecauseIt houghtwe
    couldf i
    xthis,
    Iam t hesamewomani swor ki
    ng
    hardt ostayint hi
    smar r
    iage.”
    “
    Babe…”
    “WhydoIneedtofightforyouify
    ouaremi ne,
    youaremyhusband.WhydoIhav etofightfor
    ourlov
    e?Whydoesourl oveneedfight
    ingf or?
    WhydoIneedtofightforotherwomant oshow
    thatIl
    ovey
    ou?”
    “Iknowhowthi
    slooksli
    kebutIhav
    enev
    er
    sleptwi
    thy
    ourhusbandEazi
    .”
    Isl
    appedheracrosstheface.“
    Ketagobolaa!O
    sekawabatagont wael
    a.Iam thestupi
    done
    ri
    ghtwhobeli
    evesyoustupidstor
    y!Iwil
    lburn
    thi
    splacedownandwat chusalldi
    e”
    “
    Eazi
    -“
    “Iwantoneanswerfrom you,
    Ialreadyknow
    sheisstay
    ingwithyoubecausetherear etwo
    towelsint
    hebathroom,twotoothbrushes.
    Thereisafemini
    netouch.Areyousl eepi
    ngwith
    her?”
    “
    Shecameinl
    astnightandshewasgoi
    ngt
    o
    l
    eav
    einthemorni
    ng.”
    Il
    ookedatSummert henwalkedovertoherand
    pickedherupasAy
    ast ooduprubbingher
    cheek.
    “
    Putmybabydown!
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lsmasht
    hist
    hingont
    hef
    loorr
    ightnow.
    ”
    “
    Eazi
    thi
    sisnoty
    oubabe.
    ”
    Tearsrandownmycheeks.“ Ofcausei
    t’
    snot
    me!Idon’ tev
    enknowwhoIam!Idon’ t
    recognizemy sel
    fwhenIl
    ookonthemirror
    .I
    don’tknowwhoIam! ”
    “Pl
    easeputherdown,
    let
    ’st
    alkaboutt
    hisl
    i
    ke
    adul
    ts.
    ”
    “
    Wearenottalki
    ngtil
    lyout el
    lmethetr
    uth.If
    y
    ouhadnothingtohidewhydi dyouhi
    deher
    t
    hen?I
    fyouar ehonestthenwhydidn’
    tyoujust
    t
    ell
    metrut
    hfr om t
    hebegi nni
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Abepl
    easet
    ell
    hert
    ogi
    vememybaby
    .”
    “May beshewon’ tdieifIt
    hrowheronthef
    loor
    ,
    sheist oobig…”Iwal kedoutwi
    thhert
    othe
    balcony.“Iam goingt ot
    hrowherandshewil
    l
    die.Tellmet hetr
    uth.”
    “Iknowi t
    ’shar
    dtobeli
    evebutIdidn’tsleepwit
    h
    her,Ihaveneversl
    eptwit
    hherev ersinceI
    came, youneedtobeli
    eveme.,howwoul dIri
    sk
    mymar ri
    ageatati
    mel i
    kethi
    s?”
    “
    Iam goi
    ngt
    othr
    owher
    .”
    “Isl
    eptwithhi
    m.Pleasegivememybaby .Idi
    d,
    j
    ustonceandt hat
    ’sall
    .Iam sor
    ryf
    ornot
    respect
    ingyourmarri
    age.I
    twill
    neverhappen
    again.
    ”
    “
    Yousl
    eptwi
    thhi
    m?”
    “
    Yes,
    pleasegi
    vememybaby
    .”
    Iwalkedf
    rom t
    hebalconyt
    henshesnat
    ched
    herbabyfr
    om me.Abeshookhi
    shead.
    “
    Whatam Il
    acki
    ngasy
    ourwi
    fe?
    ”
    “Sheisly
    ing.Ididn’
    tsl
    eepwit
    hher.Iam guil
    ty
    fort
    akingcareofSummerbehi ndyourbackbut
    that
    ’sall
    .IonlymetthebabywhenIcameher e
    butIhavenev ersl
    eptwit
    hher.
    ”
    “
    Youexpectmet
    obel
    i
    evet
    hat
    ?”
    “Iknowit
    ’shar
    dtobeli
    evebutbabet
    rustme.I
    didn’
    tsl
    eepwithher
    .”
    Mor
    etear
    srol
    l
    edmycheeks.Icoul
    dfeel
    the
    paininmyheartonmychest,
    ithur
    tphysi
    cal
    l
    y.I
    kneadedmychestthenl
    ookedathimfail
    i
    ngto
    tal
    kanymore.Iputmyhandsovermyface
    cryi
    ng.
    Hehuggedme.“
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “Abewhyar ey oubr eakingmel ikethis?It ol
    d
    yout hatify oudon’ twantme, youcanl eaveand
    yout oldmeIdi dn’thav efait
    hinusbuti twasn’
    t
    thatIdi dn’
    thav efait
    hi nus, i
    twasj ustt hatI
    want edy out oknowy ouhadopt ions.Iwant ed
    yout oknowy oudi dn’thav etost aywher eyou
    feelyouar enothappyany mor e.Ididn’twant
    yout ohur tmeunnecessar i
    ly.Givet hereason
    fornott ell
    ingme?Forhur ti
    ngme?Gi vemea
    reasonwhyIdeser vet his…tellmewhatIam
    doingwr ong?May beIcamewi t
    hhi gh
    expect ati
    onsbuty ouar etheonewhomademe
    beli
    ev ey oucoul dmakemehappy .Yousol dme
    adr eam.Youdi dn’tprepar emef orthisAbe.
    Youmademet hinksohi ghlyofus…whywoul d
    youdothati
    fyouknowy oucan’t
    ?Youshould
    havebeenhonestwi
    thme.If eel
    inlovewi
    th
    someonewhodoesn’texist
    .Youmademef al
    l
    i
    nlovewithsomeonewhoi snotthere.
    ”
    “
    IknowIam hur
    ti
    ngy
    oubutbabeIl
    ovey
    ou.
    ”
    “Howcany ounotlov emeAbe?Howcany ou
    not?Ofcausey ouloveme.Youl ov emeand
    thatl
    ovecontainsdeceit,l
    ies,unfaithful
    ness.
    Thatlovecontai
    nspai n.Idon’tknowwhatIdi d
    orwhatIam notdoi ng.Don’tIdeser vetobe
    happytoo?May beIdon’ tdeservet obehappy .
    It
    ’salwaysfr
    om onemesst oanot her.Inever
    catchabreak.”
    Tear
    swetmyneckasIl
    ookedathi
    m.
    “MaybeIam notawifeenough….You
    const
    antl
    ymakeaf ooloutofme.”
    Thedooropenedandthepolicewal
    kedinwit
    h
    Aya.Abeturnedt
    othem andspoketothem i
    n
    Frenchwhil
    eIremai
    nedstil
    lwatchi
    ng.
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    Thepol
    i
    celookedatme.“
    Wer ecei
    vedar
    epor
    t
    andwehav
    et otakey
    ouwith.
    ”
    .
    .
    .
    ((
    (Famil
    yIam notf
    eeli
    ngwellbutt
    heoneinser
    t
    Iam owingy
    ouwi l
    lbepost
    ed.Thankyou.
    )))
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #55

    Abel
    ookedatAy
    a.“
    Cany
    oust
    opt
    his?
    ”
    “Shet
    ri
    edkil
    l
    ingmybaby.Shesai
    dshewoul
    d
    smashheronthef
    loor
    .”
    Il
    ookedatherswi
    tchi
    ngtoFr enchtal
    kingtothe
    pol
    iceasmyheartpounded.Ilookedatherred
    cheekreal
    i
    zingthatal socoul
    dimpl
    i
    cateme,
    I
    closedmyeyesf i
    ghtingmyhottear
    s.Oneof
    thepoli
    ceoffi
    cerlookedatme.
    “Pl
    easecomewit
    hus.Weal
    sowantt
    oseey
    our
    documentst
    oo.
    ”
    Hott
    ear
    srandownmycheeks.“
    Abe…”
    Het
    ookouthisphone.“
    Iam get
    ti
    ngy
    oua
    l
    awyer
    ,Iam goi
    ngtogetyouout
    .”
    Igr
    abbedhishandast
    hepoliceoffi
    cer
    advancedtome.“
    Don’
    tlett
    hem takemeaway
    .
    Dosomet hi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Yout
    ri
    edki
    l
    li
    ngmybaby
    !”
    “
    Mam,
    please…putony
    ourcl
    othes.
    ”
    “
    Abe!
    ”
    “
    Eit
    hery
    oudr
    essorwet
    akey
    oul
    i
    ket
    hat
    .”
    Abeopenedmybagandhandedmeadr
    ess
    thenpul
    l
    edmeinsi
    dethebat
    hroom.
    “
    Iam sor
    ry,
    Iam get
    ti
    ngy
    ouout
    .”
    Myl i
    psshookashehel
    pedmeputont hedress.
    “AbeIdon’twantt
    ogotojai
    l.Idon’
    tknowthis
    place,pl
    easedosomet
    hing.
    ”
    “
    Iam get
    ti
    ngy
    ouout
    .”
    “
    Can’
    tIapol
    ogi
    ze?Iwi
    l
    ldoany
    thi
    ng.
    ”
    Hezippedthedressandgav
    emehispushi
    ns.
    “
    Iwil
    l gety
    ouout ,
    Ipromi
    se.
    ”Heki
    ssedme.“
    I
    wi
    ll
    gety ouout.
    ”
    Thepol
    icebangedont
    hebat
    hroom door
    .
    “Comeout!
    ”
    Abeopenedthedoorandl
    edmeout
    .Thepol
    i
    ce
    of
    fi
    cergrabbedmyhand.“
    Abe!
    ”
    “
    Whyar
    eyoupul
    l
    ingher
    ?Shei
    scomi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Wehav
    etot
    akeher
    .”
    Ayalookedatthepol
    icepul
    li
    ngmeaway
    holdi
    ngSummeri nherarms.“
    Shehasason
    too.Heisher
    e.”
    “
    Wher
    eishe?
    ”
    Abet
    urnedt
    oAy
    a.“
    Hei
    smyson!
    ”
    “
    Youdon’
    thav
    eason,
    sheshoul
    dgowi
    thher
    .”
    “
    Youknowwhat
    ?Getoutofmyhouse!
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sl
    ate,
    Summerand-
    “
    “TakeSummerwit
    hy ouandgetoutofmy
    housebefor
    eIcal
    lsecur
    it
    yonyou.”
    Thepoli
    cedr
    aggedmeout
    .“Abe!Do
    somethi
    ng…”
    “
    Iam behi
    ndy
    ou,
    Iam goi
    ngt
    ogety
    ouout
    .”
    Malcol
    m wal
    kedoutofhi
    sroom duet
    othe
    noi
    seandlookedatmepani
    cki
    ng.
    “
    Mama…”
    Il
    ookedathi
    m.“
    Staywi
    thdaddy
    .”
    AbepickedupMal col
    m whowascryi
    ngast he
    el
    evatordoorssl
    i
    dopen.Wegoti nwi
    ththe
    pol
    icethenthedoorsclosedwhi
    l
    eMalcolm
    cri
    edevenlouderscr
    eamingforme.Iputmy
    handovermymout hcryi
    ng.Outsi
    de,t
    hepoli
    ce
    pushedinsi
    dethecaranddroveoffwhil
    eIsat
    attheback.

    *
    **

    Attheapar
    tment,Abespoketohisl
    awyeras
    AyawalkedovernowwithoutSummer.Abe
    hungupandlookedather.
    “
    Iwanty
    ououtofmyhouse.
    ”
    “
    Shei
    sapsy
    cho.
    ”
    “
    Shei
    smywi
    feandt
    hatwon’
    tev
    erchange.
    ”
    “
    Shei
    scr
    azy
    ,shewant
    edt
    oki
    l
    lourdaught
    er.
    ”
    “Eazii
    snotl
    ikethatandthat
    ’swhyIwil
    lal
    ways
    chooseheroverevery
    thi
    ng.Whydidyouli
    eto
    her?”
    “I
    fIdidn’
    ttel
    lhert
    hatshecoul
    dhav
    eki
    l
    ledour
    daughter
    .”
    “
    Getout
    !”
    “
    Wher
    edoy
    ouwantmet
    ogo?I
    t’
    slat
    e.”
    “Idon’
    tcar
    ewher
    eyougo,
    getoutofmy
    house.
    ”
    “I
    fIwal
    koutofhereAbet
    henforgetSummer.
    Youwon’tseet
    hischi
    l
    deveragai
    nandthat
    ’sa
    promi
    se.
    ”
    “Iwi
    lltakeyoutocour
    tandyouwil
    ll
    ose
    becausey ouknowwhat?Youar
    eadrug
    addict
    .”
    “
    Iam cl
    ean!
    ”
    “Canyoupr
    ovethat
    ?Iwil
    lsimpl
    ytel
    lthecour
    t
    thaty
    ouareanunfi
    tpar
    ent.Sogoaheadand
    denymydaught
    er.”
    “
    Youar
    egoi
    ngt
    oregr
    ett
    his.
    ”
    Shewentbackupst
    air
    sandcamebackwi
    th
    Summerwhi leAbespokeonhi sphoneinthe
    kit
    chen.Ayaputhersleepi
    ngdaughterdown
    thentookthegl
    assofwat ershehadbeen
    dri
    nkingandspri
    nkledapowderinit.She
    walkedtotheguestroom whereEazi’
    ssonwas
    putti
    ngonhisshoest ogowithAbe.
    “
    Hisweet
    y…Iam daddy
    ’sf
    ri
    end,
    remember
    me?”
    Mal
    col
    mlookedather
    .“Hi
    .
    ”
    “
    Take,
    dri
    nksomewat
    er.
    ”
    “
    Iam nott
    hir
    sty
    .”
    “
    Iknowbuti
    t’
    sgoodf
    ory
    ou.
    ”
    Malcol
    m slowl
    ytookthewat
    erandqui
    ckl
    y
    dr
    ankit.“
    Thankyou.”
    Heranoutasshepi
    ckedthegl
    assandwal
    ked
    outwi
    thit
    .Abehel
    dMalcolm’
    shandandst
    ared
    ather
    .
    “
    Let
    ’sgo.Youar
    eleav
    ing.
    ”
    *
    **

    Atthepolicest
    ati
    on,Isati
    nsidethecel
    lwith
    myhandsonmyf acewonder i
    ngwhereIhad
    gonewr ong.Maybetheprobl
    em wasme,
    may beIwasmeantt odiemiserabl
    eli
    kemy
    fat
    her.Theblackladywit
    hmei nthecell
    sighed.
    “
    Hi,
    arey
    ouok?
    ”
    Ir
    aisedmyheadandlookedather
    .“Iam
    worri
    edaboutmyson.
    ”
    “
    Whathappened?
    ”
    Ilookedatthebarsasatearrandownmy
    cheek.“Icametoseemyhusbandandf ound
    him wit
    hanotherwoman.Ihitherand
    threat
    enedtohurtherchi
    l
    d,Iwasn’tgoi
    ngto.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry,
    Iknowhowt
    hatgoes.Soy
    ourson
    i
    swit
    hhisfather
    ?”
    Inodded.
    “Thenwellhemustbesafe.Bytheway,Iam
    Samanthabutonthereal
    side,Iam Chi
    ke.Iam
    Niger
    ian.
    ”
    “
    Eazi
    .Iam f
    rom Bot
    swana.
    ”
    “Ni
    cemeetingyouEazi
    .It
    ’sr
    aretomeeta
    beaut
    if
    ulblackwomaninjai
    lbutIam gl
    adI
    haveyou.
    ”
    Ichuckl
    edt
    ear
    ful
    lyt
    henbrokedowncry
    ing.
    Samanthawal
    kedoverandhuggedme.
    “Iam sor
    rygirl
    .Itwi
    l
    lbeal
    ri
    ght.Hedoesn’t
    deserveyou.Youarepr
    obabl
    yt oobeaut
    if
    ulfor
    him.”

    *
    **

    Hour
    slat
    ert
    hatmor
    ning,Bi
    nasatwi
    th
    Moemedi
    ’sf
    amil
    yastheypl
    annedaway
    f
    orwar
    d.Hi
    ssi
    sterl
    ookedatBi
    na.
    “Weshoul dusesomeoft hemoneyhelef
    tfor
    thefuneralcostwhicharenowexceedi
    ngP10K.
    Forthefoodandt ent,wealsoneedagood
    coffi
    n.Iam waiti
    ngf orBi
    natogivemethebank
    cards.
    ”
    Hismothernodded.“
    Ial
    sothi
    nkweshouldbe
    usi
    ngthecartomov ear
    ound.I
    t’
    sdi
    ff
    icul
    ttoget
    thi
    ngsdonewithoutt
    hecar
    .”
    Oneoftheuncl
    esshookhi
    shead.“
    Thatwi
    l
    lbe
    deci
    dedbyhiswif
    e.”
    Thesist
    errai
    sedhervoi
    ce.“
    Wespoket oher
    yest
    erdayandshehasn’
    tsai
    danythi
    ng.She
    seemsnotinter
    est
    edinanyt
    hing.
    ”
    “
    Shei
    sgr
    iev
    ing.
    ”
    “Yesbutmysondeser
    vesagoodfuner
    al.He
    suff
    eredforsol
    onghedeser
    vest
    oresti
    n
    peace.”
    Theuncl
    elookedatBi
    na.“
    Whatdoy
    ousay
    ?”
    “Ther easonwhyIdi dn’trespondi sbecauseI
    want edtoanswerheri nfrontofev eryone
    i
    ncl udi ngmyownmot herin-l
    aw.When
    Moemedi wassi ck, noonecamet illaday
    bef orehedi ed.Ihadt obegy out ocomeand
    seehi m, notev enhi smot hercame.Iam not
    pay ing10kf orany thing.Igothi m acof fi
    nt hatI
    canaf ford,Ialsohadt obuyf oodt hatIcan
    affor d.Iam notgi vi
    ngany onemyhusband’ s
    car ds, i
    fy outhoughtt hiswill
    bey ourwayt oget
    themoneyy oul i
    edt oy ourself.Nei theri
    s
    any oneget ti
    ngt hecar ,thatismycarandIam
    theonl yonewhoi sgoi ngt odr i
    vei t.Beforewe
    ev engetf ar,l
    etmemakei tcleart hatMoemedi
    andIwer emar r i
    edi ncommuni tyofpr operty
    andhehaschi ldrenwi thEazi andI .Malcolmi s
    theonl ychildIam goi ngt oacknowl edgeandhe
    i
    st heonl yonewhoi sgoingtogetsomet hing
    from Moemedi ’smoney .Ther estofy ouarenot
    gett
    inganyt
    hing,
    onlyhi
    sclot
    hes.Takemet
    o
    courti
    fyoucan.Thankyou.
    ”
    “Youki
    ll
    edmysonandnowy
    ouwantt
    ospend
    hismoney.
    ”
    “
    AIDski
    l
    ledy
    ourson!
    ”
    “Youar
    enotgetti
    ngnothi
    ngfrom hi
    smoney.
    Youkeptqui
    etprayi
    nghediesandonlyt
    oldus
    whenhiscondi
    ti
    onwasserious.Youwat
    ched
    mysondie.”
    “Youcansaywhat everyouwantt osay,whatI
    saidremains.Don’teventrygivi
    ngmeanast y
    atti
    tudeafterallt
    hatIdidforyourson.Iam not
    awal kover, y
    ouarenotget t
    ingacentandt r
    ust
    mewhenIsayt hi
    s.Goandt ellwhoeveryou
    wantt otel
    l andseeifIcar
    e.Thehouse, the
    property
    ,thecarandt hemoneyi smine,my
    daughter’
    sandMal col
    m’s.Anyoneelse?Any
    mor equeries?”
    “
    Youki
    l
    ledmybr
    other
    .Youar
    enotgoi
    ngt
    oget
    hi
    smoney
    ,Hewr
    oteawi
    l
    l.
    ”
    Bi
    nast
    oodup.“
    Awi
    l
    l?Wher
    e?”
    “Youaregoingt
    opayforthi
    s.Thosechi
    l
    dr en
    arenotevenmybrot
    her’
    s.WeneedDNAt est
    s
    done.
    ”
    “
    Asifyoucanaf
    for
    dtobuyy
    ourownunder
    wear
    .
    Nxl
    a.”
    Shewalkedoutpr
    essi
    ngherphonet
    hengoti
    n
    thecar
    .
    “
    Bina,
    wear
    ecomi
    ng.
    ”
    “Canyoubeliev
    eAbe’ssistersai
    dshewant
    s
    10kforthefoodandtentthenanicecof
    fi
    nfor
    hercheati
    ngbrother
    ?”
    “
    Bina,
    pleasedon’
    tbet
    oohar
    dont
    hem.
    “MamaIsuf f
    eredwit
    hthismanandIam goi ng
    totakeal
    lthatmoney.I
    fitwasn’
    tformehe
    wouldhavenevergott
    enthatj
    ob.Iftheydon’
    t
    contri
    but
    ethentheyarenotgoi
    ngt oeatand
    that’
    st hat
    .P10kforwhat?Ar ewebur yi
    nga
    president?Therewasnothingspecialabout
    Moemedi expectthef
    actthathehadal lsort
    sof
    diseasesinhisbodyandt hat’
    sexactlyhowhe
    willbeburied.If
    oundav erycheapcof f
    infr
    om a
    Mozezur uwhomakescheapaf fordablecoff
    ins
    andhewi l
    lbeburiedi
    nthat.”

    *
    **

    AtTino’
    shouse, herelaxedwat chingTVwhi l
    e
    Tsotl
    hecookedi nthekitchen.Somehowt his
    ti
    mear oundhewant edt odot hingsdif
    ferent l
    y
    wit
    hher .Hecouldalreadypicturemar r
    yingher
    andfrom justhercharacterheknewshecoul d
    makeagr eatwif
    eifhet aughtheraf ewt hings.
    Minuteslatershewalkedov erwi t
    hhisplateand
    gaveittohim.
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    Hel
    eanedovertoki
    ssherbuthi
    sphonerang.
    Het
    ookitoutandanswer
    edhisbrot
    her
    ’scall
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Ineedaf
    avor
    ,Eaz
    ihasbeenar
    rest
    ed.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Yes,
    shef
    oundoutaboutSummer
    .”
    “
    Itol
    dyout
    haty
    oushoul
    dtel
    lher
    .”
    “
    Iknow,Imadeami
    stake,shef
    oundAyainsi
    de
    t
    hehousetomakematter
    sworsebutIneed
    y
    ourhel
    p.”
    “
    Arey
    oucheat
    ingagai
    n?”
    “
    No.
    ”
    “
    Thenwhatwasshedoi
    ngi
    nyourhouse?
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sal
    ongst
    ory
    ,Ineedy
    ourhel
    p,wi
    l
    lyouhel
    p
    meornot
    ?”
    Tinoclosedhi
    seyeswonderi
    nghowEazi was
    deali
    ngwi t
    hit
    .Shewasprobabl
    ycr
    ying.Deep
    downheknewhecouldactuall
    ytreatherbet
    ter
    butshewasnowhisbr
    other’swif
    eandhehad
    toburr
    ythosef
    eel
    i
    ngsandl ookatherlikehi
    s
    sist
    eri
    n-l
    aw.
    “Whycan’
    tyouj
    ustlethergoifyoucan’
    ttr
    eat
    herr
    ight
    ?Shedoesn’tdeser
    vethis.
    ”
    “Iknowshedoesn’tdeser
    vet
    his,
    IknowI
    disappoi
    ntedher
    ,butIneedy
    ourhelp.Cany
    ou
    helpmeout ?”

    *
    **

    Afterminut
    esoftal
    kingwi thTinoont hephone,
    hehungupandl ookedatMal col
    m sleepi
    ngat
    theback.Hehadbeensl eepingforawhi l
    eand
    knowingjusthowexhaustedhewasmadehi m
    feelsor
    ryforhi
    m.Thiswasnott hewayi twas
    supposedtobeandheact uall
    yfearedshewas
    goingtodivor
    cehim eventhoughhehadn’ t
    sl
    eptwithAy a.Hewait
    edinf r
    ontoft
    hepoli
    ce
    stat
    ionstar
    ingattheentr
    anceknowingshe
    wouldbeoutanymoment .Hewentthrough
    whathewoul dsaythenclosedhisey
    es
    fr
    ustrat
    ed.
    Helookedatt
    hebackagai
    nandl
    ookedatt
    he
    t
    ime.
    “
    Mal
    c?Ar
    eyouhungr
    y?”
    Hedidn’
    tmovet
    henAbeshookhim.“Mal
    c,
    wakeupchamp.Let
    ’sgety
    oufood.Mommyis
    coming.
    ”
    Abefr
    ownedasheremainedst
    il
    lthenshook
    hi
    m harder
    .“Mal
    col
    m!”
    Abe’
    sheartski
    ppedasMalcol
    mr emai
    nedst
    il
    l
    notmaki
    ngasi ngl
    emovement.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #56

    Abesteppedoutoft
    hecarandopenedt
    he
    backseatshaki
    nghi
    m.
    “
    Mal
    col
    m!Mal
    c!”
    Hetouchedhi
    sforeheadandpanickedeven
    mor
    eathi shi
    ghtemperatur
    e.Hisphonerang
    t
    henhegotbackinsidethecaransweri
    ng.
    “
    Yeah?
    ”
    “ImanagedtogetMrs.Abeoutbutt
    heassaul
    t
    char
    geisstuckon,shehast
    opayaf i
    ne.
    ”
    “
    Paywhat
    everi
    tis.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    shewi
    l
    lbeoutj
    ustnow.
    ”
    “
    Takehert
    omyhouse,
    Iwi
    l
    lseehert
    her
    e.”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Abehungupstar
    ti
    ngthecarthenspedof
    f
    headedtot
    hehospi
    tal
    .Minut
    eslater
    ,her
    ushed
    i
    ncarryi
    nghi
    m.

    *
    **

    Atthepoli
    cestat
    ion,Isi
    ghedasIwalkedout
    wit
    hAbe’slawyer,heledmetohiscarand
    openedthedoorforme.
    “
    Please…”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Igotinandputmyhandsonmyl apwhi
    l
    ehe
    walkedroundt
    ohisdoorandgotin.
    “AberequestedIt
    akey
    oubackt
    othe
    penthouse.
    ”
    Inoddedoncelookingoutthr
    oughthewindow.I
    sti
    l
    lcouldn’
    tbel
    ieveIhadactual
    lyspenta
    coupl
    eofhoursinjail
    .Icl
    osedmyey eswanti
    ng
    tojusterasetheimageoutofmyhead.The
    l
    awy erparkedt hecarawhil
    el at
    erandwal ked
    i
    nwi thmei nside.Hesummonedt heelev
    at or
    formet henIgoti nwhil
    ehewal kedaway .Inthe
    apartment,Il
    ookedar oundthenwentt othe
    guestroom wher eMalcolm hadsleptand
    frowned.
    “
    Mal
    col
    m!”
    IwentupstairstoAbe’ sbedr oom andr eali
    zedI
    wasactuallyalone.Isatont hebedt hinkingof
    Ayaandherdaught er
    .I fAbedi dn’tsleepwi th
    herthenhedi dn’thavear easont ohideheri n
    hisbedroom.Tear sf i
    lledmyey est henIbl inked
    them awayst ari
    ngatmyr ingwonder inghow
    muchmor eIcoul dputupwi th.Ist oodupand
    l
    ookedatmy selfont hemi rr
    orf orawhi l
    ethen
    walkedinsidethebat hr oom andshower ed.I
    packedmybagaf tertakingoutt heclothes
    Malcolm woul dwearbackhomeandwai t
    ed
    i
    mpat i
    ently
    .
    *
    **

    Ontlamet
    sif
    ini
    shedhangingcl
    othesoutsi
    de
    thenwavedathernei
    ghborandwal kedt
    othe
    kit
    chenanswer
    ingAkanyang’
    scall.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Heybabe,soIgotussomebreakf
    astfr
    om
    Wimpy.Iwil
    lbet
    herei
    nacoupleofminutes.I
    t
    hinki
    twill
    beagoodtimet
    oseet hem.”
    Ont
    lamet
    sismi
    l
    ed.“
    Iwasaboutt
    ocook.
    ”
    “
    Iam onmyway
    ,doy
    ouwantsomet
    hingel
    se?
    ”
    “
    No,
    Iam good.Thanks.
    ”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Acardroveinheryar
    dasshehungupt hen
    Mmolokisteppedout
    .Shewenttoherbedroom
    t
    hencamebackandwal kedoutstar
    ingathim.
    “
    Giv
    emet
    heki
    ds.
    ”
    “
    Thoseki
    dsar
    emi
    ne.Ihav
    ethei
    rful
    lcust
    ody
    .”
    “Ontl
    amet
    sibr
    ingmykids!Youarenotgoi
    ngt
    o
    giv
    emykidstoyourboyf
    ri
    end.”
    Shesmil
    ed.“Iam andt
    her
    eisnot
    hingy
    oucan
    doabouti
    t.
    ”
    Helookedatherangr
    il
    ythenshetookouther
    shor
    tgunandcockedit.“
    Tryopeni
    ngyour
    mouthandsayingsomethi
    ngelse.
    ”
    Mmol oki
    ’
    shear
    tski
    ppedashetookast
    epback.
    “Soyouarenowgoi
    ngtothr
    eat
    enmewi t
    ha
    gun?
    ”
    “
    Iam goi
    ngt
    oki
    l
    lyouwi
    thagun,
    tryme.
    ”
    “
    Ijustwantmyki
    ds.
    ”
    “
    Theyar
    enowst
    ayi
    ngwi
    thmeandt
    hat
    ’st
    hat
    .”
    “
    Iwon’
    tsuppor
    tthem i
    fyoudenymemyki
    ds.
    ”
    “
    Likey
    ouwer
    esuppor
    ti
    ngt
    hem bef
    ore.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    egoi
    ngt
    oregr
    ett
    his.
    ”
    Getout
    .”
    Hegoti nhiscarasAkany angdrov
    einthenshe
    putthengunbehi ndherandwentbackinside.
    Shequicklywalkedtoherbedroom andputiti
    n
    hersecretplace.Shewalkedbacktothesi
    tti
    ng
    room andlookedatherkids.
    “Soguys,
    Ihav
    eaclosefri
    endofmi
    newhoi
    s
    comingandheboughtusfood.
    ”
    “
    Ishey
    ourboy
    fri
    end?
    ”
    Ontlametsi
    lookedatherol
    destdaught
    er.“
    Um
    yes.Butheisnice.Beni
    cetoo.
    ”
    Akanyangknockedthenwalkedinsmil
    ing.
    Ontl
    ametsiwalkedoverandhuggedhim.He
    ki
    ssedherneckt henl
    etgostari
    ngather
    daughter
    s.
    “
    Heyguy
    s,Ibr
    oughty
    ouguy
    saf
    ri
    end.
    ”
    Hi
    sdaught
    eral
    sowal
    kedi
    nandshy
    lyst
    ood
    besi
    deherdad.
    “
    HeyYame…”
    “
    HiAunt
    y…”
    Ont
    lamet
    sit
    ookherhead.“
    Guyst
    hisi
    s
    Amogel
    ang,
    Amo,thati
    sLesegoandLame.
    ”
    LesegolookedatAmo’sni
    cel
    yst
    yledhai
    rand
    smiled.“
    Yourhai
    rlooksni
    ce.
    ”
    Amosmil
    edandwalkedovertot
    hegir
    lswho
    i
    mmediat
    elyt
    ouchedherhai
    rwhil
    eshesmil
    ed.
    “
    Whowast
    hat
    ?”
    Ont
    lamet
    silookedatAkany
    ang.“
    Thei
    rfat
    her
    .
    Myexhusband.”
    “Ithoughty
    ousai
    dhewasn’
    tsuppor
    ti
    ngt
    he
    kids.”
    “Heisn’
    tbuthei
    sjustbi
    tt
    erbecauseIt
    ookt
    he
    kids.
    ”
    “
    Ihopehewasn’
    thar
    assi
    ngy
    ou.
    ”
    Sheshookherhead.“
    No,
    nohewasn’
    t.
    ”
    Ont
    lamet
    si’
    sphoner
    ang.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi,
    it’
    sTi
    no.
    ”
    “
    Hi!
    ”
    “Eaziwasarr
    est
    ed,
    shewil
    lbeoutoral
    readyi
    s
    outbutincasey
    ouhavebeenworr
    iedIhadto
    tel
    lyou.
    ”
    “
    Iwas.Whathappened?
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sal
    ongst
    ory
    .That
    ’sal
    l
    .”
    Hehungupleavi
    ngOnt
    lamet
    sist
    ari
    ngather
    phonei
    nconfusi
    on.

    *
    **

    Bi
    nawalkedinsi
    deherhouseandlooked
    ar
    ound,
    reali
    tyset
    tl
    ingi
    n.Nomat t
    erhowmany
    ti
    messhehadpr eparedhersel
    fforhisdeath,it
    seemedt osti
    ll
    hav ehitherhard.Nowshe
    wonderedifsheshoul dhaveforcedhimt othe
    hospit
    al,
    shehadn’ tputanyefforti
    ntogetti
    ng
    himthehelpheneededandi twasal lduetothe
    painhehadcausedher .
    Cheati
    ngwi t
    hthesamegirl
    thr
    oughoutthei
    r
    rel
    ati
    onshipandeveaf
    terhemarri
    edher.Atear
    droppedthenshequi
    ckl
    ywipeditaway.She
    tookoutherri
    ngi
    ngphoneandansweredwith
    annoyance.
    “
    Kopo,
    whatdoy
    ouwant
    ?”
    “
    Iam car
    ryi
    ngMoemedi
    ’
    schi
    l
    d?”
    “
    Sowhat
    ?”
    “
    Hischi
    lddeser
    vest
    obenef
    itf
    rom hi
    sfat
    her
    ’s
    money.
    ”
    “Unfor
    tunatel
    yhedi
    dn’
    tleaveanythi
    ngforyour
    sonandnowhewon’ tgetanythi
    ng.Youbetter
    star
    tfi
    guringhowyouaregoingtocarefor
    hi
    m.”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    ltakey
    out
    ocour
    t.
    ”
    “Goandtryit
    .Youar
    esti
    l
    lnotgetti
    nganyt
    hing.
    Iam marri
    edincommuni
    tyofpropert
    y.
    Ever
    ythi
    ngismine.
    .”
    Shehungr ol
    li
    nghereyes.Thefuner
    alcostwer
    e
    provi
    ngtobet oomuch.Ormay beshehadto
    cutdownt hefood,
    eit
    herherway,whowentto
    afuneralf
    orfood?Peoplecoul
    djustcomeand
    helpherburr
    yherhusbandthendisper
    se.

    *
    **

    Thami st
    eppedoutofthebusatBusRankand
    l
    ookedar ound.Hi
    sfri
    endwavedthenhewal
    ked
    overcarr
    yinghisbag.
    “
    Sur
    elai
    taka…”
    Thami
    smi
    l
    ed.“
    Thanksf
    orget
    ti
    ngme.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’scool
    .Whatt
    imei
    sthej
    obi
    nter
    viewon
    Monday?
    ”
    “
    8shar
    p.”
    Thefr
    iendl
    edhimt
    ohisci
    tyGol
    fandtheygot
    i
    n.“Sowhatar
    eyougoi
    ngtodonow?”
    “Iwanttoseemyson.Lonascan’
    tkeepme
    awayfrom myson.
    ”
    “
    Yout
    hinkshewi
    l
    lgi
    vehi
    mtoy
    ou?
    ”
    “Yesbecauseheismyson.Herboyf
    ri
    endhas
    beenposti
    nghim al
    loverhi
    ssoci
    almedi
    abut
    that
    ’scomingtoanend.”
    Hi
    sphoner
    ang.“
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi,
    hav
    eyouar
    ri
    ved?
    ”
    “
    YesmaIhav
    e.”
    “
    Ok,
    Iam pr
    ayi
    ngf
    ory
    ou.Youwi
    l
    lgett
    hatj
    ob.
    ”
    “
    Met
    oo.Thi
    sshoul
    dbemybr
    eakt
    hrough.
    ”
    “
    Iti
    sbyt
    henameofJesus.
    ”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Hehungupt
    hendi
    aledLonas.
    “
    Thami
    Isai
    dst
    opcal
    l
    ingme!
    ”
    “Iam gi
    vi
    ngy
    ouachancet
    otel
    lhi
    m, on
    MondayIam goi
    ngt
    oseehi
    m andtakemy
    son.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    out
    ryi
    ngt
    orui
    nmyr
    elat
    ionshi
    p?”
    “
    Iwantmyson,
    that
    ’sal
    l
    .”
    “Iam tr
    yingt
    ohel
    pyou.Youcan’
    taf
    for
    da
    chil
    d.”
    “
    ”Icanaf
    for
    dmyson,
    Iwanthi
    m.”
    “
    Youar
    enotget
    ti
    nghi
    m.Leav
    emeal
    one.
    ”
    Shehungt
    henhesmi
    l
    edst
    oppi
    ngt
    her
    ecor
    ding.

    *
    **
    I
    nFrance,Abelookedatt
    hedoct
    orexpl
    aini
    ng
    Mal
    colm’scondit
    ion.
    “Hewasgivenadrug,mainl
    yusedforthoseof
    thosewhoareaddi
    ctedt
    ostrongthi
    ngs.Like
    heroi
    n”
    “
    Sowhatnow?
    ”
    “Wear ekeepingacl oseeyeonhi m,wehav
    e
    draineditbutheiscr i
    ti
    cal
    rightnow.Hewas
    givenanov erdose.Whoevergav eitt
    ohi
    m,thei
    r
    i
    ntent i
    onwast okill
    .
    ”
    “
    Wil
    lhebef
    ine?
    ”
    “Ther
    earechancest
    hathewi
    llbebutr
    ightnow
    Iam goi
    ngtobehonestwi
    thy
    ou, i
    t’
    snot
    l
    ookinggood.
    Abesatdownwit
    hhi shandsofhi
    sface.He
    knewEaziwasal
    readyhomebuthecoul dn’
    ttel
    l
    hert
    hebadnewsasy et
    .
    Het
    ookouthi
    sphoneandcal
    l
    edAy
    a.
    “
    Abe…”
    “
    Whatdi
    dyoudot
    omyson?
    ”
    “
    Whatar
    eyout
    alki
    ngabout
    ?”
    “Iknowyoudidsomethi
    ngtohi
    m andyouare
    goingtotel
    lme.Youaregoi
    ngt
    oregreti
    tandI
    willmakesurey
    oudo.’
    ”
    Hehungupandcall
    edthehousephonehopi
    ng
    shewasal
    readyhome.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    Hesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Hey
    …”
    “Ihavepackedmybagsandev eryt
    hingthat
    belongstomysonandI ,pl
    easecomeback, I
    am goingback.Idon’tt
    hinkIcandot hi
    s
    anymor e.Youdon’
    trespectmeenought obe
    honestwi t
    hme.Youar enotf ai
    thfultome.I
    can’tdothisanymore,y
    oucont inuehurti
    ngme
    andIhav ehadenough.IwillnotkeepMal col
    m
    from you,youar
    ealwaysgoi ngtobehi sfat
    her
    andthatwon’
    tev
    erchangebutasf ormeIam
    done.Youhav
    ehurtmei t
    ’senough.Youare
    tur
    ningmeint
    osomethingelseandthisi
    snot
    whoIwanttobecome.Pleasecomeback, I
    havetogo.
    ”
    “Babe,
    areyouser
    iousl
    ywal
    ki
    ngawaybecause
    ofamistakeImade?”
    “No,Iam l
    eav
    ingbecauseyoucan’
    tbehonest
    Abe.Youconstant
    lyl
    ietome.”
    “BecauseIam human!Iam notper
    fect
    ,Inev
    er
    promisedyouthatIwi
    llbeperf
    ect.
    ”
    “Youdon’
    thav
    et obeperfecttobehonestwith
    me.Iwenttoj
    ailbecauseofy ou.Iam l
    eav
    ing!
    Comeback,Malcolmiscomi ngwi t
    h.”
    “
    Younev
    erl
    ovedmedi
    dyou?
    ”
    “Il
    oveyouandthat
    ’swhyIam l eavi
    ngbecause
    youkeeptaki
    ngmyl ov
    ef ory
    ouf orstupi
    dit
    y.I
    am done.Comebackwi t
    hMal c.Iam goi
    ng
    back.
    ”
    “
    Iam notl
    osi
    ngy
    oubecauseofAy
    a.”
    “
    No,
    youar
    elosi
    ngmebecauseofy
    ourl
    i
    es.
    ”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #57

    “Canwet alkaboutthi
    slat
    er,Iam sendi
    ng
    someonet ocomeandpi ckyouup.Iam in
    hospi
    tal
    wi t
    hMal c,hei
    snotfeeli
    ngwel l
    .”
    “
    Whathappened?
    ”
    “Theyaresay
    inghewasgi
    venadr
    ug,
    Iwi
    l
    l
    explai
    ntoyouwhenyouar
    ri
    ve.
    ”
    “No!Tell
    menow,whatdrug?Inev
    ergavehi
    m
    anythi
    ngandwhatheconsumedisthesame
    thi
    ngIconsumed.Whathappenedt
    omyson
    Abedi
    le?
    ”
    “
    Iam cal
    l
    ingacabf
    ory
    ou.
    ”
    Hehungupandcalledacabbef
    orecal
    l
    ingt
    he
    housephoneback.
    “
    Abe?
    ”
    “
    Icall
    edacab,i
    twil
    lbether
    einacoupl
    eof
    minut
    es.Godownst
    air
    sandwaitfori
    t.
    ”
    “
    Whathappenedt
    oMal
    c?”
    “
    Wewi
    l
    ltal
    kwheny
    ougether
    e.Hei
    sfi
    ne.
    ”
    Hedr oppedthecall
    beforeshecouldask
    anythingandsatworri
    edl
    y .Hefoundhimsel
    f
    unsureofwhattodoandknowi ngther
    ewere
    chancesofhiml osi
    nghisperfectf
    amilyt
    ore
    hi
    m apar t
    .

    *
    **
    Ayapacedaroundherhouseasherf
    ri
    end
    l
    ookedathershaki
    ngherhead.
    “
    Soy
    out
    ri
    edki
    l
    li
    ngherson?
    ”
    “
    Shet
    ri
    edki
    l
    li
    ngmydaught
    ert
    oo!
    ”
    “Herchildmightdi e,
    doy ouknowt hat?Youcan
    gotoj ail
    fortherestofy ourl i
    fe.Didyouknow
    that?Forgetabouty ourcar eer,forget
    everythi
    ng.Youar egoi ngtoj aili
    fsomet hi
    ng
    happenst ohim.Andt heywi llknowi t
    ’syou
    becausey ouwer eoncet akingthosedr ugs.Abe
    i
    scl ean.Youar etheonl yonewi thamot iv
    eto
    hurtthiswoman’ sson.Hehasmoney ,l
    otsofit
    andhecanaf fordhavingy ousentt ojai
    l.
    ”
    “
    May
    beIshoul
    drun.
    ”
    “
    Wit
    hSummer
    ?”
    “No.Summeri
    sst
    ayi
    ngbehi
    nd.Abewi
    l
    ltake
    her.
    ”
    “Idon’tknowbutchancesarethatyouaregoi
    ng
    tojail
    .Evenifyoudon’
    t,youar
    egoingtobea
    suspectandnoonewi llwantt
    owor kwitha
    mur dersuspect.Hei
    sgoingtoreporty
    ou.“
    “Iam notgoi ngt oj ai
    l.Ihav ewor kedsohar dt o
    bewher eIam t oday .Iwasn’ tevensl eeping
    withAbe.SheassumedIwasbecausehehi d
    mei nt hewar drobewi ththebaby .Itri
    ed
    expl ainingtohert hatIwasonl yther ebecause
    ofSummerbutshewoul dn’tli
    stent ome.She
    tookmybabyandt hreatenedt osmashheron
    thef loorthenwal kedt ot hebalcony .IfIdidn’t
    tellherwhatshewant edt ohear,shewasgoi ng
    tot hrowherdown.Iwasscar ed,Isai dthef i
    rst
    thingt hatcameoutofmymout h, Iwasangr y,
    I
    didn’ tmeant ohur tthatboy …Iwasn’ tthinking.I
    wasj usthurtt hatAbewasn’ tgoingt opr otect
    ourchi l
    dagai nsthi swi f
    e.”
    Jewelshookherhead.“
    Iam sor
    ryt
    hatal
    lthat
    happened.
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    twantt
    ogot
    ojai
    l
    .”
    Jewel’sphonerangthenshelookedatit
    standing.“
    Ihav
    et ogo.Theshowi saboutt
    o
    start
    .”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Youwi
    l
    lbeokr
    ight
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Ay awat chedherwalkoutt henlookedat
    Summer .Sheknewhewasgoi ngt osendherto
    j
    ail,shedi dn’tr
    eal
    l
    yhav eacaseagai nstEaz
    i,
    j
    ustherwor dagai
    nstEazi
    ’s.Alreadysheknew
    Abewoul dsi dewi
    thhiswife.Herlipsshookas
    tearsrandownhercheekst henshewal kedto
    herbedr oom andpackedhert r
    avelli
    ng
    document s.ShepassedbySummerwhowas
    sleeping.
    “
    Iam sor
    rybaby
    …”
    Shewi
    pedawayhert
    ear
    sthi
    nki
    ngofher
    mother.Wast histhesamewayshehadf elt
    whenshel eftherbehind?Thepol
    i
    cewouldn’t
    hesi
    tatetoarrestherespeci
    all
    ywit
    hherhistor
    y.
    Shewal kedoutleavi
    ngSummerwhowas
    sl
    eeping.

    *
    **

    Tashasl
    owlyreachedforherphoneandt ri
    ed
    cal
    li
    ngMoemedi buthi
    snumberst i
    l
    lwasnot
    goi
    ngthrough.Gi
    nawalkedov erandlookedat
    herhol
    dingherphone.
    “
    Iam goi
    ngout
    ,Iwi
    l
    lbebackl
    ater
    .Youwi
    l
    lbe
    f
    iner
    ight
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Ihopeyouarenottry
    ingtogethol
    dof
    Moemedi .Yourf
    ri
    endsentmeamessage,
    apparent
    lyheisdead.Goodri
    ddancet
    o
    r
    ubbi
    sh.
    ”
    Gi
    naputonhersungl
    asses.“
    Bye.
    ”
    Shewalkedoutinhershor
    tsummerdressand
    heel
    sthenTashacall
    edherfri
    end,
    herhear
    t
    poundi
    ng.“Hel
    lo?”
    “
    Whyar
    eyout
    ell
    i
    ngmymot
    herl
    i
    es?
    ”
    “
    Moemedi i
    sdead.Hi
    scousi
    npost
    edon
    f
    acebook.
    ”
    “
    Hecan’
    tbedead.
    ”
    “Hei
    s,hedidn’
    tgot
    othehospi
    tal
    togethel
    p
    andhedied.
    ”
    “
    Binaki
    l
    ledher
    .”
    “Youhavestar
    ted.Iam ti
    redofthis,Moemedi
    beingwit
    hyoudi dn’
    tmeanhel ovedy ou,
    he
    neverl
    ovedyouandt hat
    ’swhyhef ound
    someone,hi
    sdr eam gi
    rlandmar r
    iedher
    becausehelovedher.Heliedt
    oy ouandmade
    youbeli
    eveeveryonewasagainsty ou,hi
    swi
    fe
    gav ehim achildandt heywer ehappyt houghhe
    keptmaki ngy oubel i
    evehewasdi vor
    cing.You
    thinkifhelovedy ouhewoul dhav emar r
    iedher?
    Youneedt oopeny ourey es,t
    hatmangav eyou
    diseases,ifhel ovedy ouhewoul dhavenev er
    giveny outhosedi seases.Wakeup!St opbei ng
    dump.Iam t i
    redofhav ingf r
    iendswhomov e
    backwar dwhenwewantt obemov i
    ngf orward.
    Youar easet backTashat a.Idon’tevenknow
    what ’
    swr ongwi t
    hy oubutt i
    llyouarebackt o
    theTashat aIknowandl ove,don’tcall
    me.I
    don’twantt obeassoci at edwi t
    hpeoplewho
    hav enodi r
    ection.”
    Thefriendhungupt
    henTashacl
    i
    ckedher
    tongue.

    *
    **

    Li
    nawal
    kedout
    sidet
    hemal
    lwi
    thTanonher
    side.Heunlockedhi
    scarf r
    om adistanceas
    Tendaiwatched.Heshrunkhiseyesinanger,
    TankissedLinaopeni
    ngt hedoorforher.He
    tookouthisphoneandcal l
    edhergetti
    nginhis
    car.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Youcan’
    tst
    aywi
    thoutamancany
    ou?
    ”
    “
    Excuseme?
    ”
    “
    Youal
    wayshav
    etobehav i
    ngsex,
    whycan’
    t
    y
    oubehav
    eli
    keaproperwoman?”
    “
    Tendai
    ,Idon’
    towey
    ouany
    thi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Youowemealot,
    yousl
    eptwit
    hmyf at
    heri
    n
    myhouse,
    mademymotherst
    roke.
    ”
    “Sowhat?Youdi
    vor
    cedmedidn’
    tyou?Took
    ever
    ythi
    ngandwenttomov
    eonwi t
    hmysi st
    er.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    egoi
    ngt
    opayf
    orwhaty
    oudi
    d.”
    “
    Becar
    eful
    whaty
    ousayt
    ome.
    ”
    “Nowonderyouarebarren.Heisgoi
    ngtoleav
    e
    youbecauseyouarenothingbutani
    nfer
    ti
    le
    whore.All
    youdoisopeny ourl
    egsandfuck
    everydi
    ckinyourway.Youaresoloseand
    cheap.Youar
    eal osepantyandyouare
    bori
    ng.”
    “
    Done?
    ”
    “
    Youaregoi
    ngtopaywhatf
    orwhaty
    oudid,
    wai
    tandwatch,
    youar
    enotgoi
    ngtogetaway
    wi
    thit
    .”
    Hehungupst
    ari
    ngasherboy
    fri
    end’
    scardr
    ove
    of
    f.

    *
    **

    Tanl
    ookedatLi
    na.“
    Arey
    ouok?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    ely
    ing.Somet
    hingi
    swr
    ong,
    whatdi
    dhe
    say
    ?”
    Sheshookherheadf
    orci
    ngasmi
    l
    e.“
    It
    ’s
    not
    hing.
    ”
    “
    Wil
    lyoubehonestwi
    thme?
    ”
    Li
    nalookedathi
    mt henatearr
    andownher
    cheek.Shewi
    peditoffasTanstoppedhi
    scar
    .
    “
    Whatdi
    dhesay
    ?”
    “
    Hesai
    dIam whor
    ethat
    ’swhyIam i
    nfer
    ti
    le.
    ”
    “
    Andy
    oubel
    i
    evet
    hat
    ?”
    “
    Nobuthe-
    “
    “Babe,youcan’tlethi
    m hav
    esuchcont
    rol
    over
    l
    ife.Don’tgivehi
    mt hepowert
    omakeyoucry,
    hedoesn’ tdeser
    v ei
    t.
    ”
    “
    Hesai
    dIam goi
    ngt
    opayf
    orwhatIdi
    d.”
    “
    Iam goi
    ngt
    opuncht
    hatguy
    .”
    Li
    nasmi
    l
    ed.“
    Idon’
    twanty
    oui
    njai
    l
    .”
    Tanshookhi
    shead.“
    Noonei
    sgoi
    ngt
    ojai
    l
    .I
    am goi
    ngtotalktohi
    m, mantoman.Iam sur
    e
    thi
    swil
    lneverhappenagai
    n.Justl
    etmedeal
    wit
    hit.
    ”
    Li
    nalookedathim andnodded.Heleanedov
    er
    andkissedheragai
    nthendroveoff
    .

    *
    **

    Abest
    oodupasIwal
    kedov
    ert
    ohi
    m.
    “
    Wher
    eismyson?
    ”
    “
    Heisinsi
    de,
    thedoct
    orsar
    ewi
    thhi
    m,t
    heyar
    e
    moni
    tori
    nghi
    m.”
    “
    Whathappenedt
    ohi
    m Abe?
    ”
    “
    Ithi
    nkAy
    adr
    uggedhi
    m.”
    “
    Shewhat
    ?”
    “
    Shemusthavebecauseaf
    tert
    hepoli
    cet
    ook
    y
    ou,Iaskedhi
    mifhewashungryandhet
    old
    mehewasn’tandhej
    ustdr
    ankwat
    er.Ay
    agav
    e
    hi
    mthewater.
    ”
    “
    Hav
    eyouopenedacase?
    ”
    “
    Noty
    et.
    ”
    “
    Why
    ?”
    “
    Ihav
    ebeenher
    ethewhol
    eti
    me.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iam nowher
    e,goandopenacase.
    ”
    “
    Ican’
    tleav
    eyoual
    oneher
    e.“
    “GoandopenacaseAbe!Mysoni slyi
    ngi
    na
    hospit
    albed,goandopenacase.Shewas
    tr
    yingtokil
    lmyson.”
    Abelookedather
    .“Ok,
    justst
    ayher
    e.Iwi
    l
    lbe
    back,di
    dyoueatsomethi
    ng?”
    “
    Iam nothungr
    y.”
    Hetri
    edki
    ssingmebutIl ookedaway.“Goand
    openacaseAbedi
    le.Idon’twanttoquesti
    on
    yourl
    oveformyson,pleasedowhat’sri
    ght.
    ”
    “Il
    oveyou.Iknowthatyouar
    equesti
    oni
    ngmy
    l
    ovefory our
    ightnowbutIl
    oveyousomuch
    babe,IknowIkeepmessingupbutIl
    oveyou.
    Lookatme…”
    Ilookedathi
    m withtear
    sinmyey es.“Mysonis
    i
    nhospi t
    albecauseyourgi
    rl
    fr
    ienddr uggedhim
    Abe.Thesamegi rl
    fr
    iendwhosentmet ojail
    .If
    youlovemet hatmuch,goandr eporther.
    ”
    “Ok.Keepmyphoneincaseanyt
    hinghappens.
    Youjustcal
    lthenumbersav
    edundermy
    name.”
    Itookt
    hephoneandsatdownwhil
    ehewal ked
    away.Minut
    eswentbyasIl
    ookedaround.His
    phonerang.
    “
    Tino…”
    “
    Eazi
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Hey
    ,howar
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    I…Abe…”Iputmyhandov
    ermymout
    hcr
    ying.
    “
    Eazi
    ….”
    “
    Myhear
    tisbr
    eaki
    ng.Yourbr
    otheri
    shur
    ti
    ng
    me.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Inhospi
    tal
    .Ay
    apoi
    sonedmyson.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Shepoi
    sonedMal
    c.Iam scar
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Wheni
    syourr
    etur
    nfl
    i
    ght
    ?”
    “
    Aft
    eraweek.
    ”
    “Ican’
    tkeepwat chi
    ngthishappening.IknowI
    shouldn’tbedoi
    ngthisbutIcan’tholdmy sel
    f
    anymor e.AssoonasMal cgetsout ,
    Iam
    getti
    ngy ouafli
    ghtback.Wil
    lyoucomeback? ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Ok.Iam sor
    ry.Iam r
    eal
    l
    ysor
    ry.Youdon’
    t
    deservet
    his.
    ”
    *
    **

    Tinopar
    kedhiscarandst
    eppedoutofthecar
    t
    alki
    ngonthephonethenst
    oodagainsti
    t.
    “
    Idon’
    tknowwhatIam doi
    ngwr
    ong.
    ”
    “Youar
    enotdoi
    ngany
    thi
    ngwr
    ong,
    youar
    e
    perf
    ect
    .”
    “Hel
    iedaboutSummer
    .Het
    oldmeAy
    a
    abor
    ted.
    ”
    “May
    beit’
    sti
    mey ouputy
    our
    sel
    ffi
    rstwi
    thout
    someonepushi
    ngyoutodoi
    t.
    ”
    “Iam l
    eavi
    ngyourbr
    other.Iam get
    ti
    nga
    divor
    ce.Il
    ovehi
    m butlov
    ei snotenough.
    ”
    “
    Iam r
    eal
    l
    ysor
    ryi
    tdi
    dn’
    twor
    kout
    .”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.By
    e.”
    Shehungupt
    henhewal
    kedi
    nsi
    det
    hehouse
    whereTsot
    lhewasbusyt
    ypingherproj
    ecton
    hi
    slapt
    op.Shetur
    nedandlookedathim wi
    tha
    smil
    e.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    Hewentoverandsatbesi
    deshert
    henki
    ssed
    her
    .“Hey
    .Canwet al
    k?”
    Tsot
    lheputt
    hel
    apt
    opdownandsmi
    l
    edst
    ari
    ng
    athi
    m.“Yes.
    ”
    “
    Ihav
    ebeent
    hinki
    ngandIt
    hinki
    t’
    sbesti
    f….
    ”
    Shebl
    i
    nkedwai
    ti
    ng.“
    Ifwhat
    ?”
    Heheldherhandsl
    ooki
    ngi
    nherey
    eswhi
    l
    eher
    hear
    tpounded.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe
    #58

    “It
    hinkit’
    sbesti
    fwet el
    l y
    ourmot heraboutus
    becauseIwantsomet hingser i
    ous.Idon’twant
    tobesneakingaround,Iam t oooldforthat.I
    don’twantyoutobesneaki ngar oundtoo,I
    wanty outobefr
    eeandf l
    exible.Youareold
    now.”
    Tsotlhesmiled.“
    Ok.Ithoughtyouwere
    breakingupwi t
    hmekei potsagorekemango
    tl
    ankadi manglaptopyagagwe( wonderi
    ngwho
    i
    sgoi ngtobebor r
    owingmet heirl
    aptop.
    )”
    Ti
    nochuckled.“
    Iam start
    ingt
    osuspecty
    ou
    don’
    tlov
    eme.Obat l
    al aptopy
    aakahela(
    You
    wantmylaptoponl
    y.
    ) ”
    “Tl
    her
    rakeagorat
    a.(Il
    oveyou.)IknowIdon’t
    knowmostthi
    ngsbutifyoucanteachme, I
    knowIcanbetheri
    ghtf
    ulpart
    nerforyou.
    ”
    Heki
    ssedher
    .“Iknow,
    Igoty
    ousomet
    hing.
    Wai
    t…”
    Hestoodupandwalkedoutandcameseconds
    l
    aterhol
    dingapl
    ast
    icandabox.
    “Soyoucanstopshari
    ngmyt
    hingswi
    thme,
    I
    needthem f
    orwork.
    ”
    Shetookt
    hebigboxandopenedcur
    iousl
    ythen
    scr
    eamedtaki
    ngoutthel
    aptop.
    “
    Tino!
    ”
    “
    Nowy
    oucanst
    ayawayf
    rom myl
    apt
    op.
    ”
    Tear
    sfil
    l
    edhereyesasshel
    ookedatt
    hebr
    and
    newlapt
    op.“
    Tino…”
    “
    Don’
    tcr
    y…”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.Idon’
    tknowwhatt
    osay
    …”
    Sheopenedt hel
    apt
    opwit
    hahugesmi
    le.“I
    t’
    s
    beaut
    if
    ul.Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evey
    ougotmealaptop.
    Thankyou.”
    Hel
    ookedathersmi
    l
    e,t
    hesi
    ncer
    ejoyi
    nher
    ey
    esmadehi
    m smi
    l
    epr
    oudl
    y.
    “
    Youar
    ewel
    come.
    ”
    Shereachedforthepl
    asti
    candtookoutthe
    smallbox.Herhandsshookasshelookedat
    thei
    Phonebox.
    “
    Tino,
    myphoneisfi
    ne.Youdidn’
    thav
    eto.This
    i
    stooexpensi
    ve,
    youal
    readygotthel
    apt
    op.”
    “Yourphoneist
    oot
    inyandIcanseey
    ou
    str
    ugglewit
    hit.
    ”
    “
    Iwasgoi
    ngt
    ofi
    xit
    .”
    “Iboughtever
    ythingf
    ory oubecauseIlovey
    ou.
    IwanttoinvestinusbecauseIwantt omarry
    you.ThereasonIhaven’ttouchedyouis
    becauseIwantt omarryy oufi
    rst
    .”
    Tear
    srol
    leddownhercheekst
    henshehugged
    hi
    mt i
    ght
    ly.
    “
    Ilov
    eyousomuch.
    ”
    Ti
    noputhi
    sar
    msar
    oundherandki
    ssedher
    f
    orehead.

    *
    **

    Tashadi
    aledBina’
    snumberandputt
    hephone
    onherearli
    steni
    ngasi
    trang.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Soy
    ouki
    l
    ledhi
    m?”
    “
    Whoi
    sthi
    sandwhatdoy
    ouwant
    ?”
    “
    It
    ’sTasha.Iknowy
    ouki
    l
    ledhi
    m.”
    Binachuckled.“Youaresi cki
    nt hehead.
    Somet hi
    ngiswr ongwi thyou.Ican’tbeli
    evehe
    brai
    nwashedy outhismuch.Iact uall
    yfeelsorr
    y
    foryou.Hegav ey oudiseasesyety ouarestil
    l
    fi
    ghtingforhim,ev enwhenhei sdead, y
    ouar e
    sti
    llf
    ight
    ing.”
    “
    Whatdi
    dyoudot
    ohi
    m?”
    “Nothing,youshouldhav easkedhim whathe
    didtoy ou.NowIam notmadaty oubutIreal
    l
    y
    feelsorryforyou.Honestlythi
    sisnotnormal.
    Howdoy oubeli
    eveheisasai ntwhenhewas
    sleepi
    ngwi theveryvaginahecouldmeet .He
    wasn’tjustcheati
    ngwi t
    hy ou,ther
    eareother
    womant oo.Evenmysi sterandshesaysshei s
    pregnant.“
    “
    Youar
    ely
    ing.
    ”
    “Iam tel
    lingyou.Iwi l
    lsendy out hepr oof.You
    needtopi cky ourselfandmov eonwi thlife.You
    aretooy oungt obedoi ngthist oyourself.You
    almostdi ed,
    thatshoul dhav ebeenawakeup
    callf
    ory ou.Youragemat esar edoi ngsomuch
    greatforthemsel ves.Theydon’ tspendt heir
    ti
    mecr yingov ermen.Iknowy oupr obablyhat e
    mebutIdon’ tcar e,honestl
    yIdon’ tcar ebut
    takethisassi sterlyadvise,getup, dusty oursel
    f
    andkeepmov ing.Moemedi i
    sdeadandnev er
    comingback, pityhecoul dn’thandlebei ngata
    muchbetterplaceinl
    ifebutheactual
    lynever
    deser
    vedy ou.Haveyoulookedatyoursel
    fon
    themir
    ror?Youar ebeauti
    ful
    ,youaresmart.
    Sweety,
    mov eon.”
    BinahungupthenTasha’ stear
    full
    ylookedat
    herphone.Nowt hatshethoughtaboutit,her
    l
    ifewasstagnant.Shethoughtofalltheplans
    andgoalsshehadandshehadn’ teven
    achiev
    edasingleoneoft hem.Rathershewas
    i
    nhermot her’
    shousebei ngfedsoftporri
    dge
    becauseshewassi ck.Tearsit
    chedherey es
    thenshebli
    nkedlookingupwonder ingwher e
    shehadgonewr ong.

    *
    **

    Tendaisatinhiscarathishousetypi
    nga
    messaget oLina.Hesentitbutsheblueti
    cked
    thenl
    eftthechatwithoutaresponse.Hisphone
    r
    ang.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Iwanttoseeyou,
    it’
    sLina’
    sboy f
    ri
    endandI
    t
    hinkweshoul
    dtal
    kf acetofaceli
    kereal
    men.
    ”
    Tendai
    chuckl
    edf
    eel
    ingchal
    l
    enged.“
    Ok.You
    cancometomyhouse.
    ”
    “
    Sur
    e.”
    Hehungupt henhesteppedoutofthecarand
    wal
    kedinsi
    det hehouse.Helookedatt
    he
    emptyhousewi t
    hafrownthencall
    edLonas.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Iwentoutwi
    thJuni
    or.
    ”
    “
    Wentoutwher
    e?”
    “
    Tot
    hemal
    l
    .Iam onmywayback.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Shehungupt
    henhecal
    l
    edLi
    na.
    “
    Tendai
    whatdoy
    ouwant
    ?”
    “
    Soyouar
    egoi
    ngt
    osendy
    ourl
    i
    ttl
    eboy
    fri
    endt
    o
    me?
    ”
    “Youarepat heticandIwonderhowIev en
    marriedyou.Yourf atherwasmuchbet terthan
    you,hewasar ealman.Youar ejustaboyandI
    am gladIam nol ongerwit
    hy ou.Youdon’ t
    scar
    eme, Ihav ealwaysbeenmuchbet terthan
    youandmay bet hat’
    swhyy oucoul dn’
    thandle
    me.Cal l
    mei nfert
    il
    eallyouwant ,t
    hat’
    sf i
    ne.
    Call
    meany thingandseei fIcare.Youar e
    wastingyourownt ime.Andy es,Ihavesentmy
    boyfr
    iendandhewi l
    ldealwit
    hy ou.”
    “
    Youar
    ever
    yst
    upi
    d.”
    Li
    nalaughed.“
    Hunnyyouarethestupi
    done.
    Youareamuchbiggerfool
    ,desper
    atemuch!
    ”
    Shehungupj ustasacardrov
    ein.Hewalked
    outsi
    deandlookedatLina’
    sboyf
    riendst
    epout
    ofhiscarandwalkover
    .Tendaif
    oldedhisar
    ms
    wait
    ingforwhat
    everhewasgoingt
    ost
    aybut
    r
    atherTanpunchedhisj
    awhard.
    “That
    ’sf
    orhar
    assi
    ngmywoman.Sheisno
    l
    ongeryour
    sandyouhav
    enori
    ghttohar
    ass
    her.
    ”
    Tendai
    steppedbackwit
    hhishandonhisj
    aw.
    Tanadvancedathi
    m andtr
    iedpunchi
    nghi
    m
    agai
    n.
    “
    Soy
    oucamet
    omyhouset
    ofi
    ghtme?
    ”
    “Icamet oyourhouset oputy ouinyourplace.
    ”
    Tangr abbedhi st
    -shir
    tbr i
    nginghim closer
    .“I
    f
    youcal lherorsendheranymessagesorev en
    trytal
    kingtoherphy sicall
    y,Iwil
    ltakeoffall
    yourteeth.Osekawabat agont waelamasepa
    themonna, st
    ayiny ourlane.”
    Tanwal
    kedbackt
    ohi
    scaranddr
    oveof
    f.

    *
    **
    Laterthatday,Akanyangwat chedthegirl
    s
    l
    aught ogetherthensmiledtakingashortvideo.
    Itwasf unnyhowt heyeasil
    yconnect edorhow
    hisowndaught ereasil
    yconnect edtothem
    consideri
    nghowshehadahar dt i
    memaki ng
    fri
    endsatschool .Hestoppedt hevideoand
    j
    oinedOnt lametsii
    nthekitchen.
    “
    Ithi
    nkAmoi
    sreal
    l
    yhappy
    .”
    Henodded.“
    Idon’
    tthi
    nkshei
    sgoi
    ngt
    owantt
    o
    l
    eave.
    ”
    Ont
    lamet
    sichuckl
    ed.“
    Shecansl
    eepov
    er.You
    t
    oo.
    ”
    Akanyanglookedather
    .“Inev
    erincl
    udemy
    daughteri
    nmyr el
    ati
    onshi
    psbecauseIdon’
    t
    wanthergetti
    nghurti
    ntheprocess.
    ”
    Ont
    lametsismi
    l
    edandkissedhim.“
    Ilovey ou.I
    hav
    en’tdat
    edsi
    ncemyexhusbandbecauseI
    hav
    ealwaysbeenscar
    edofbeinghurt.ButIam
    wi
    l
    li
    ngt
    ogi
    veusachance.
    ”
    Akanyangki
    ssedherput
    ti
    nghi
    shandi
    nher
    ski
    rt
    .
    “
    Theki
    ds…”
    Helookedatt hesit
    tingroom thenpul l
    edher
    i
    nsidethepant r
    yclosingthedoorbehi nd.He
    pl
    acedheragai nstthewal l
    standingbehindher
    androll
    edupherski rttoherwai st.Hetookout
    hi
    sdickpulli
    ngherpant i
    estothesi deandsli
    d
    i
    nwi t
    hagr unt.Akany angpull
    edherf rom t
    he
    wallabitbendingherandt hrustintoherwit
    h
    deepwildstrokes.
    .
    Akanyangdr
    il
    ledint
    oherasshel
    etoutamoan
    shaki
    ngwhil
    eherpussyspasmed.Hebreat
    hed
    heavi
    l
    yandpul l
    edoutcomi
    ngonherback.
    “
    Ahf
    uck!
    ”
    Heki
    ssedherneckandwal
    kedoutr
    e-packi
    ng
    hispackagethenjoi
    nedt
    hekids.Ont
    lametsi
    smiledalonefi
    xi
    ngherpant
    ieswhil
    ehiscum
    randownhert hi
    gh.

    *
    **

    Lat
    ert
    hatni
    ght
    ,Abehandedmeapl
    ateoff
    ood.
    “
    Youneedt
    oeat
    .”
    “
    Iam nothungr
    y.”
    “Iknowyouar
    eworriedandangr
    ybuty
    oucan’
    t
    starv
    eyour
    sel
    f.Eat
    .”
    “
    Iam nothungr
    y,y
    oucan’
    tbl
    ameme.
    ”
    “Ican’
    tbl
    amey oubutyouneedt
    oeat
    .Pl
    ease
    eat,doi
    tforMalcol
    m.”
    Itooktheplateandbegunshovi
    ngthef
    ood
    downmyt hroat
    .Abesighedst
    ari
    ngatme
    quiet
    lyti
    l
    lIwasdone.
    “
    Canwet
    alk?
    ”
    “
    Ihavenothi
    ngt
    osayt
    oyouAbedi
    l
    e,Ist
    il
    lwant
    adi
    vorce.
    ”
    “Canyougi
    veusachance.Youcan’
    twantt
    o
    endourmarr
    iagef
    ort
    his,comeon.”
    “
    Fory
    ourl
    i
    es?
    ”
    “Iam sor
    ryIl
    i
    edt oy
    ouaboutSummer ,Imadea
    mistake,
    onewhichIdear
    lyregr
    etbutt
    hat’
    sall
    .
    Ididn’
    tsl
    eepwit
    hAy a,
    you’v
    egottobeli
    eve
    me. ”
    “Youareal
    iarandIam notgoi
    ngtobel
    i
    eve
    anyt
    hingt
    hatwill
    comeoutf r
    om y
    ourmout
    h.”
    “
    May
    beweshoul
    dtal
    kwheny
    ouar
    ecal
    m.”
    Ilookedathi
    m boil
    ingwi
    thanger.“No,wear e
    goingtotal
    know.Iam div
    orcingyoubecauseI
    am sickandti
    redofyouandyourlies.Youkeep
    tell
    i
    ngonelieaft
    ertheot
    her,t
    heonl ymistakeI
    madewasmar ry
    ingyoubecauseyouar ejust
    l
    ikeyourfather
    .Cheat
    ersandl i
    ars.Youaret
    he
    worstpersonIhaveevercomeacr oss,
    Moemedi wasbettert
    hany ou.Atleasthewas
    honest.
    ”
    Abest
    oodup.“Youcant
    aket
    hebedr
    oom.Iwi
    l
    l
    sl
    eepi
    ntheguestroom.
    ”
    “Ihat
    eyousomuch, Ti
    nowouldhav ebeena
    muchbettermant hanyoucanev erbe,matter
    offact
    ,heismuchbet t
    ermant hanallofyou.
    Youcangot oAyaandSummer ,Idon’tcar
    e.I
    am donewi t
    hthi
    smar r
    iagebecausey oubore
    me!Fucky ouandthismarri
    age!”
    “
    Goodni
    ght
    .”
    “Andyouar ev
    erysick,
    Ihavenevercame
    acrossamanwhowant stohaveanal sex,
    somethingmustbewr ongwit
    hy ou.Iam
    divor
    cingyouandleavi
    ngyou.
    ”
    “
    Goandsl
    eep.
    ”
    “
    Iwonderhowy
    ourmot
    herf
    eel
    stohav
    egi
    ven
    bir
    tht oy ou.Sheshoul dhav eabort
    edy ou.I
    woul dn’thavebl amedheri fshekil
    ledy ouand
    threwy oui nabi nbecausey ouarenot hingbut
    api eceofshi tandt hat’
    sallyouwillev erbe.
    Trash!Youcan’ tevensat i
    sfymer i
    ght .ButIam
    sogl ady our ui
    nedt hi
    sallbyy our
    self.Idon’t
    thi
    nkIev erlovedy ou.Youmusthav ebeenmy
    safepl ace,Iam gladt hi
    srelati
    onshipi scoming
    toanend. ”
    Abelookedatherasherwordscutdeep.He
    nodded.“Ok,
    pleasegoandsleep.
    ”
    “
    Ihat
    ey ousomuch!Iwishy
    oucanjustdi
    e.
    Mal
    colm andIwi
    l
    lbefinewi
    thouty
    ou.”
    Henodded.“
    Ok,pl
    easegoandsleep.Ial
    ready
    r
    anyouabath.Ipr
    eparedev
    ery
    thingforyou.”
    Shestoodupandwal kedawaythenheputhi
    s
    handsoverhi
    sface.Hesatsti
    ll
    forawhil
    ethe
    di
    aledhismother
    .
    “
    Abe…”
    “
    Whoel
    seknowsIwasadopt
    ed?
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Doyout
    hinkmyact
    ual
    mot
    hert
    hinksabout
    me?
    ”
    “Abe,youaremysonandIt hi
    nkabouty ou
    always.Il
    oveyouandIrai
    sedy ouasmyown.I
    mightnothavebirt
    hedyoubutIhavelov edyou
    l
    ikeamot hershoul
    dandIdon’tregr
    etit.Ithi
    nk
    aboutyou,al
    ltheti
    me.Yourfat
    herandIl ove
    yousomuch.I fwecoul
    dgoback, wewoul d
    takeyouagainandagai
    n.Youar eablessingto
    us.”
    “
    ButIwasn’
    tabl
    essi
    ngt
    omyownmot
    her
    .”
    “
    Abeyouar
    ehurti
    ngme.Iam y
    ourmot
    her
    !
    Wher
    eist
    hiscomingf
    rom?”
    “Nothinggoeswellf
    orme.May beIam cursed.I
    hurtthepeopl
    eImost l
    ylove.Ialwayshaveto
    rui
    nit.Ever
    ytimeIthi
    nkev er
    ythingisgoi
    ngwel l
    ,
    somet hi
    nghappens.Iam notsay i
    ngIam
    perfectbutnothingeverworksoutforme.I
    can’tevenbet hereformychil
    drenbecauseI
    am tryi
    ngbyal lmeanst okeepmyf amil
    y
    together.Iam putinacorner,
    may bethat
    ’swhy
    Godi spunishi
    ngme. ”
    “
    Ever
    ythi
    ngwi
    l
    lbef
    ine.Ipr
    omi
    sey
    ou.
    ”
    Hisphonebeepedindi
    cat
    ingani
    ncomi
    ngcal
    l
    .“I
    havetotaket
    his.
    ”
    “Pl
    easecallmebefor
    eyousleep.Iam her
    efor
    you.Iam al
    wayshereAbe.Il
    oveyousomuch.
    Okson?Callme.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    Hehungupandpi
    ckedt
    hei
    ncomi
    ngcal
    l
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    HiAbe,
    it’
    sJewel
    .”
    “
    HowcanIhel
    pyou?
    ”
    “UhIthinkAyafl
    ed.Shesentmeal ong
    messagesay i
    ngshei sl
    eavingbecauseshe
    doesn’twantt
    ogot ojai
    l.Ihaveagigtoni
    ght
    andshel ef
    tSummer .Pl
    easecomeandget
    him.”
    “
    Shewhat
    ?”
    “Shelef
    tSummerbehind.Pleasecomeandget
    him.Ihavebeenwai
    ti
    ngt hi
    nkingmaybeshewi
    ll
    comebacbutsheisstil
    lnothere.Pl
    ease
    come.”
    “
    Ok,
    Iam onmyway
    .”
    Hehungupt hengrabbedhiscarkey sand
    walkedout.Hetri
    edcall
    inghergetti
    nginhiscar
    butherphonewasunav ail
    able.Hetookoffand
    drovetoherhouse.Awhi l
    elaterhewalkedi
    n
    andmetJewel bythedoorhol di
    ngthebaby.
    “Hi,
    thanky
    ouf orcomi
    ng.Ihav
    etogo.Ican’
    t
    staywit
    hher.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok,
    thanky
    ouf
    orcal
    l
    ingme.
    ”
    “
    Sur
    e.”
    Abetookt
    hebabyandthebabybagthen
    wal
    kedout.Hepl
    acedthebabyatt
    heback
    whi
    leJewelwal
    kedoverwi
    thhercarseat
    .
    “
    Ther
    ewego.Goodl
    uck.
    ”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    Shewalkedtoacart
    hathadjustparkedand
    gotinwhil
    ehesecur
    edhisdaughteronthecar
    seatandjumpedi
    natthefr
    ont.
    Hest ar
    tedthecarandst art
    eddr i
    vi
    nghome.
    Summercoughedf r
    om behi nd,Abeturnedand
    l
    ookedatherchocki ngonherv omi t
    .Al oud
    hootermadehimt urnbackt otheroadand
    reali
    zedhewasv eeringofftheroad.Pani cki
    ng,
    hesway edthecartot heoppositedir
    ection
    goingforanoncomi ngtruck.Thetruck’
    sbr i
    ght
    l
    ightsbli
    ndedhim compl et
    ely.
    *
    **

    Ginapacedaroundherbedr
    oom t
    hencall
    edhi
    m
    againbuthi
    sphonewasn’tgoi
    ngthr
    ough.She
    call
    edTaku.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Ithi
    nksomethi
    ngi
    swrongwit
    hAbe.Hecall
    ed
    awhil
    eagoandsomet
    hingi
    swrong.Icanf
    eel
    i
    t.
    ”
    “
    Whatdi
    dhesay
    ?”
    “
    Hesoundedst
    ressed.ButIhav
    eabadf
    eel
    i
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Youar eprobabl
    ywor
    ryi
    ngov
    ernot
    hing.Hei
    s
    f
    ine.Iwil
    ltr
    ycall
    i
    nghi
    m.”
    “
    Ok,
    getbackt
    ome.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hehungupwhi
    l
    eshel
    ookedatherphone.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #59

    Thef oll
    owingmor ning,Isi
    ghedwaki ngupand
    l
    ookedar oundther oom.Iputmyhandsov er
    myf acewi shi
    ngwor dscouldbetakenback.
    Nowt hatIwasact uall
    ycalm,Iregretted
    everythingIsaidandwor seknowi nghenev er
    evensai danythingbackorev engotangr y.I
    steppeddownt hebedandwentt ot heguest
    room wher eIgentlyknockedont hedooras
    guil
    tat emeup.
    “
    Abe,Iam r
    eal
    l
    ysorryaboutwhatIsai
    d,Idi
    dn’
    t
    meanit
    ,Iwasj
    ustangryandhurt
    .Ishoul
    dn’
    t
    hav esaidallt
    hat
    ,Idon’thate,Iloveyouandyou
    reall
    yhurtme.Ithinkweneedspace, Ineed
    spacet ofigur
    eoutthings.Idon’twanttomake
    decisionswhenangr y
    ,Idon' twantittoendli
    ke
    thi
    s, f
    ighti
    ngandallbecauset hereisachil
    d
    i
    nv olv
    ed.”
    Iknockedagainwal ki
    nginthenfrownednot
    fi
    ndinghim.Iwalkedoutandwal kedallaround
    hishousethensatdownwonder ingwher ehe
    was.Iswitchedont heTVandchangedt he
    channelsforawhilethenthehousephoner ang.
    Irushedtoitandpicked.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Uh,
    mam,
    it’
    sther
    ecept
    ion,
    thepol
    i
    cei
    sher
    e.”
    Myhear
    tski
    ppedwonder
    ingwhathadAy
    adone
    now.
    “
    Iam l
    ett
    ingt
    hem upnow.
    ”
    “
    Uhok.
    ”
    HehungasIr emai
    nedst
    il
    l,
    hear
    tpoundi
    ng.The
    el
    evatordoor
    ssli
    dopenandtwopol
    iceof
    fi
    cers
    walkedinandsmil
    ed.
    “
    Bonj
    ourmadame,
    thi
    sisMr
    .Abe’
    sresi
    dence,
    y
    es?”
    “
    Yes,
    iti
    s.I
    sev
    ery
    thi
    ngok?
    ”
    “
    Unf
    ort
    unat
    ely
    .Ther
    ewasacci
    dentl
    astni
    ght
    .”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Mr.Abehadanacci
    dentwher
    ehiscarcol
    l
    ided
    wi
    thatr
    uckandwasthrownof
    froad.
    ”
    Ishookmyhead.“
    No…”
    “Yes,hewaswi t
    hhisdaught
    erwebel i
    eve,
    Summer .Hehadwentt ocol
    lectherf
    rom her
    mot her’
    sf ri
    endwhohasreportedSummer’s
    mot herfled.”
    “
    Isheok?Ar
    etheyok?
    ”
    “
    Summerisf
    ine,
    justal
    i
    ttl
    escratcheshereand
    t
    her
    e,Mr
    .Abesuffer
    edsomeinternali
    njur
    ies.
    Heisunconsci
    ousint
    heI
    CU.Thesear
    ethe
    det
    ail
    s.Thankyou.
    ”
    Hehandedmeaf or
    mt hent heybot
    hwalked
    outastear
    sfi
    l
    ledmyey es.Ihadwishedforhi
    m
    todi
    e.Myhandsshookasal lthewordsIhad
    sai
    drangbackinmyhead.

    *
    **

    TinolookedatthevideoAbe’ sfootbal
    lmate
    hadsentherandpl ayedi
    t.Hi sheartski
    ppedas
    hest ar
    edatAbe’scarcoll
    idingwi t
    hat r
    uckthen
    roll
    edov ert
    wice.Heputhi sphonedownashi s
    heartpoundedthenhisphoner ang.
    “
    Tino,
    didy
    ouseet
    hat
    ?It
    ’sPi
    err
    e.”
    “
    Ist
    hatAbe’
    scar
    ?Washei
    nsi
    de?
    ”
    “Oui,
    hewasi
    nsi
    dewi
    thhi
    sdaught
    er.Jewel
    cal
    ledmeandsai
    dAy
    aranof
    fandshecalled
    hi
    mt ocomeandcol
    lectSummer
    .That
    happenedonhi
    swaybackhome.
    ”
    “
    Shi
    t!I
    sheok?
    ”
    “
    No,hesuf
    fer
    edsomei
    nter
    nal
    inj
    uri
    es,
    Iam on
    mywaytoseehi
    m.”
    "
    Summer
    ?"
    "
    She'
    sfi
    ne,
    suf
    fer
    edmi
    nori
    njur
    ies.
    "
    “
    Keepmeupdat
    ed.Hav
    eyouspokent
    oEazi
    ?”
    “Hi
    swif
    e?No.Ihaven’
    tevenseenherbutI
    knowshei
    saround.Shoul
    dIpassbyandtell
    her?
    ”
    “
    Yespl
    ease.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Tinohungupthengotoffbedandr
    ushedinsi
    de
    thebathr
    oom.Minut
    eslaterhewal
    kedoutand
    dresseddi
    ali
    ngTsot
    lhe.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Hey,Iam t
    ravell
    i
    ngoutoft
    hecount
    ry.My
    brot
    herwasi nvol
    vedi
    nacaracci
    dent
    .”
    “
    Iam r
    eal
    l
    ysor
    ry.I
    sheok?
    ”
    “
    Iam notsur
    e,hehasi
    nter
    nal
    bleedi
    ng.Wewi
    l
    l
    t
    ell
    yourmotherwhenIcomeback.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    Hehungupandwentonli
    newherehebooked
    hi
    sfli
    ght
    sorder
    ly.Mi
    nut
    eslat
    erhedrov
    eoff
    di
    ali
    ngTendai
    .
    “
    Tino?
    ”
    “
    Abewasi
    nvol
    vedi
    nacaracci
    dentl
    astni
    ght
    .”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Yes,Idon’
    tthi
    nki
    t’
    slooki
    nggood.Iam goi
    ng
    t
    here.
    ”
    “
    Ican’
    tleav
    ethecount
    rynow,
    yougoandIwi
    l
    l
    keepaney
    eonev
    ery
    thi
    ngt
    hissi
    de.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    cal
    lmama.Ican’
    tcal
    lhernow.
    ”
    “
    Yah.
    ”
    Hehungupheadedt
    otheai
    rpor
    t.

    *
    **

    Ginatookadeepbreathtr
    yingAbe’snumberfor
    thehundredt
    htimewonderingwhatwasgoing
    on.Sti
    llhi
    sphonedidn’
    tgot hr
    ough.Shepi
    cked
    herri
    ngingphone.
    “Tendai
    ,hav
    ey ouspokentoy
    ourbr
    other
    ?I
    havebeencall
    i
    ngandcal l
    i
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Uhno.Somet
    hinghappened.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Abewasi
    nvol
    vedi
    nacaracci
    dent
    .”
    “
    Modi
    mo!
    ”Sheputherhandov
    erherchest
    .
    “
    Mama…?
    ”
    Shekneadedherpai
    nful
    chest
    .“
    Jesusmyson!
    ”
    “
    Tinowentt
    her
    e.”
    Ginadroppedthephoneasthesharppainon
    herchestgotworse.Takubursti
    nandlooked
    atheronthefl
    oorgruntingi
    npain.
    “
    Gina!
    ”
    Hepickedherupt
    henrushedwi
    thherout
    side
    tohi
    scaranddroveof
    fclosi
    ngt
    hegatebehind
    him.

    *
    **

    Latert
    hatmorning,Ontl
    ametsifi
    nishedmaking
    breakf
    astf
    orherf amil
    ythentookapi ct
    ure
    whichsheputonherwhat sappstatus.
    Akanyangwalkedinandsmi l
    ed.
    “
    Wow!
    ”
    Ontl
    amet
    sil
    aughed.“
    Iknow.Wher
    ear
    etheki
    ds,
    Iwoket
    hem upawhil
    eago.”
    “
    Tal
    ki
    ng.Theyar
    ecomi
    ng.
    ”
    Herphoner
    angasshesatdown.“
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Ont
    la,
    Ihadabaddr
    eam.
    ”
    Shesi
    ghed.“
    Mama…”
    “
    Liket
    heoneIhadwheny ourf
    atherdied.It
    ’s
    t
    hesamedream andIdi
    dn’tsl
    eeplastnight.
    ”
    “
    Yout
    hinksomeonei
    sgoi
    ngt
    odi
    e?”
    “Idon’tknowbutweneedtopray.Maybei
    fI
    prayedthelastt
    imeIhadthatdr
    eam y
    our
    fatherwouldhavebeenher
    e.”
    “
    Youar
    escar
    ingmenow.
    ”
    “
    Somet
    hingdoesn’
    tfeel
    right
    .Iam wor
    ri
    ed.
    Hav
    eyouspokentoEazilat
    ely
    ?”
    “
    No,
    butIspoket
    oherbr
    otheri
    n-l
    awandhe
    sai
    dsomet
    hinghappenedbutshewasf
    ine.
    ”
    “Canyoufi
    ndoutwhat
    ’shappeni
    ngwi
    thmy
    daught
    er.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Shehungupt hent
    ri
    edcall
    i
    ngTinobuthi
    s
    numberwasn’tgoi
    ngthr
    ough.Shet
    appedher
    motherin-
    law’
    snumberbutamalevoi
    ce
    answered.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Goodmor
    ning,
    canIspeakt
    oMr
    s.Taf
    ir
    a.”
    “Sheisnotf
    eel
    i
    ngwel
    landcan’
    ttal
    k,i
    t’
    sher
    husband.
    ”
    “Oh,morni
    ngsir
    ,Iwasactual
    lycal
    li
    ngtoaski
    f
    shehasspokentoEazi,
    Ihaven’
    ttal
    kedtoher
    sinceshewentt
    here.
    ”
    “Idoubt,Abewasi
    nvol
    vedinacaracci
    dentl
    ast
    night
    ,Tinohaswentt
    heresowearegoingto
    hearfrom hi
    m.”
    “
    Isheok?
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    hei
    sal
    i
    ve.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Shehungst
    ari
    ngatAkanyang.“
    Abewas
    i
    nvol
    vedinacaracci
    dentl
    astni
    ght
    .”
    “
    Washewi
    thy
    oursi
    ster
    ?”
    Sheshookherhead.“No.shei
    spr
    obabl
    yso
    st
    ressedr
    ightnow.”
    “
    Shewi
    l
    lbef
    ine.
    ”
    Ont
    lamet
    siputt
    hephonedownf
    eel
    i
    nguneasy
    .

    *
    **

    Tendaiopenedthef
    ri
    dgefixi
    nghi
    sjackett
    hen
    grabbedabottl
    eofwaterwhil
    eLonasstar
    edat
    hi
    m.
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyougoi
    ng?
    ”
    “Mymot
    heri
    sinhospi
    tal
    .Iam goi
    ngt
    osee
    her
    .”
    “
    What
    ’swr
    ong?
    ”
    “
    Iam notqui
    tesur
    eri
    ghtnow.By
    e.”
    Hewalkedoutbeforeshecoul
    daskany
    more
    quest
    ions.Hegotinhi
    scaranddrov
    eoffashi
    s
    phonerang.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Hi
    ,youarespeaki
    ngt oThami.Ther
    eis
    somethi
    ngimportantaboutyoursonthaty
    ou
    shoul
    dknow.”
    Tendai
    sloweddown.“
    What
    ?”
    “MynameisThami.Therei
    ssomethi
    ng
    i
    mpor t
    anty
    oushouldknowbutnotovert
    he
    phone.
    ”
    “
    Youwantt
    omeet
    ?”
    “
    Yespl
    ease.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    wher
    e?”
    “
    AtRai
    lPar
    kmal
    l
    .Todayi
    fpossi
    ble.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    let
    ’smeeti
    n30mi
    nut
    es.
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Thenumberhungupl
    eav
    inghi
    m abi
    tconf
    used.

    *
    **

    Atthehospi
    tal
    ,Pier
    reopenedthedoortoAbe’
    s
    room t
    henIwalkedinandlookedathi
    m
    connect
    edtomachines.Tearsroll
    eddownmy
    cheeksasIwalkedoverandtouchedhi
    m.
    “Babe…Iam sosorry.Idi
    dn’
    tmeanit
    ,Imeant
    nothingofi
    t.Youknowme, Idi
    dn'
    tmeanit
    .
    Pleasewakeup…”
    Icaressedhi
    sfaceandki
    ssedhi
    m.“ Iam r
    ight
    here,Idi
    dn’
    tmeanit,
    IswearIdi
    dn’
    t.Idon’
    t
    knowwhatcameov
    erme.Iam sor
    ry.Iam so
    sorr
    y.”
    MoretearsgushedoutasIl
    ookedathim
    l
    if
    eless.“
    Ican’
    thaveyouandMalcol
    m here,
    whatam IsupposedtodoAbe?Iam scared,
    pl
    easewakeup.Idon’tknowwhattodo.”
    Ilookedaroundthenfi
    xedhissheet sast he
    machi nesbeepedcal
    ml y
    .“Youar egoingt obe
    fi
    ne.Iknowy ouaregoingtobef ine.Ineedy ou
    andsodoesMal col
    m.Ifanythinghappenst o
    you,hei sgoi
    ngtobeshat t
    ered.Youcan’ tl
    eave
    us.Notl i
    kethi
    s.Il
    oveyou.”
    Pier
    repeaked.“
    UhEazi
    ,ther
    eisaphonecal
    lfor
    you.
    ”
    Iki
    ssedAbe’
    sfor
    eheadagai
    nthenwal
    kedout
    andtookt
    hephone.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Eazi
    ,howi
    she?What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “Morni
    ngma, heisinICU.Thedoct
    orssayhe
    hadint
    ernal
    bleedingbuttheymanagedtost
    op
    i
    t.”
    “
    ThankGod.
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Hei sgoi
    ngt
    obef
    ine.Hei
    sst
    rongert
    hany
    ou
    t
    hink.
    ”
    “Wehadaf i
    ghtl
    astni
    ght.Isaidt
    hingsIdi
    dn’
    t
    meanoutofanger.Ij
    ustwanttoapologi
    ze,I
    didn’
    tmeanit
    .GodknowsIdi dn’
    tmeanit.
    ”
    “
    Heknows,
    Abeknows.
    ”
    “
    Wehavebeenhavingprobl
    ems.Maybeaf
    ter
    t
    hisweshoul
    dinv
    olvethefami
    li
    es.
    ”
    “Yes,andt hat
    ’stherightfulpatht
    ogo.You
    don’tjustdealwithi
    tal one.Noonesaid
    mar r
    iagewi l
    lbeeasyandt hefamilyi
    sther
    eto
    help.Youshoul dn’
    tfeel soalone.
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Good.Whenher egainsconsci ous, wear e
    goingt ositbot hf amiliesdownandwear e
    goingt ohelpy ou.Iknowt ruelov ewhenIseei t
    andt hat’swhaty ouandAbehol d.Don’ tbe
    fooledbyt her elationshipsy ouseeonsoci al
    medi a.Nor elati
    onshi pi sperfect .NotthatIam
    sayingst aywher ey oudon'twantt ostaybut
    everyrelati
    onshi phasi tsownhi ccups, no
    rel
    ationshipisper fect.Yoursisst il
    lnew, you
    arest i
    l
    l gett
    ingt oknoweachot herbet ter.I
    don’twanty ouorAber egretti
    ngt hedecisions
    yout ookoneday .”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    ewel
    come.Wewi
    l
    ltal
    k?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    bye.
    ”
    IhandedPierr
    ebackhisphoneandwalked
    backinsi
    deAbe’sroom t
    henlookedathi
    m
    agai
    n.Ilookedathi
    shandsomef acer
    ecal
    li
    ng
    thefir
    sttimeImethi m andchuckl ed.Who
    wouldev erknownonedayIwoul dact uall
    ybe
    mar r
    iedtohim.Tearsf i
    ll
    edmyey esasI
    thoughtofhowhesav edmef rom Moemedi .
    Thatdr i
    vebacktoGabor onewehadt akenwit
    h
    Malcolm attheback.ForthefirsttimeIhad
    beenr eal
    lyhappy,Malcolm wast oo.Ichuckl
    ed
    recall
    edhowwesangal ongt oall t
    hesongs.I
    wipedat earwhichrandownmycheekand
    smiledstari
    ngathim.
    “Pl
    easewakeup, Il
    oveyou.Iknowwear enot
    atthebestspacer i
    ghtnowbutmay bewecan
    fi
    xthings.I
    t’
    sonlybeenaf ewmonths,wecan
    sti
    l
    l makeitwork.Idon’
    tknowhowbecauseI
    am reall
    yhurtbutIam wil
    li
    ngtofi
    ghtforus.
    ”
    Iheldhi
    shandandki sseditt
    henthemachi nes
    start
    edbeepingwil
    dly.Il
    ookedaroundthen
    rushedouttoPier
    rewhowasst il
    lwait
    ingfor
    me.
    “
    Somet
    hingi
    swr
    ong,
    cal
    lthedoct
    or.
    ”
    Hequickl
    yputawayhisphoneandranoff
    cal
    l
    ingadoctor.Thedoct
    orrushedov
    erandgot
    i
    nsde.
    “
    What
    ’swr
    ong?
    ”
    “
    Mam,
    giv
    eusspace.
    ”
    Thenur
    sepushedmeout
    .
    “Wai
    t,what
    ’sgoi
    ngon?Hewasf
    ine.What
    ’s
    goi
    ngon?”
    “
    Pleasel
    ett
    hedoct
    ordeal
    wit
    hit
    .”
    “
    Ishegoi
    ngt
    obef
    ine?
    ”
    “
    Thedoct
    ori
    swi
    thhi
    m,hav
    efai
    th.
    ”
    Il
    ookedathert
    henst
    eppedbacknoddi
    ng.
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Shewal
    kedbacki
    nsi
    deasIr
    emai
    nedst
    andi
    ng
    ther
    ewai
    ti
    ng.

    *
    **
    Thamiwalkedovert
    oTendai
    whowasst
    andi
    ng
    nextt
    ohiscar.
    “
    Hi,
    mynamei
    sThami
    .”
    Tendail
    ookedathi
    m.“Ok,
    whati
    sitt
    haty
    ou
    thi
    nkIshoul
    dknow.”
    “
    It
    ’sabouty
    oursonwi
    thLonas.
    ”
    “
    Ok.Whati
    sit
    ?”
    “
    Heisnoty
    ourson.Lonasi
    smaki
    ngy
    our
    aise
    myson.
    ”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #60
    Tendail
    ookedatThami
    sil
    ent
    lymaki
    nghi
    m
    wonderwhathewasthi
    nki
    ng.
    “
    What
    ?”
    “ImetLonasbef or
    eshecamet oGaborone.She
    wasmygi rl
    fri
    endbutaft
    ercominghereshe
    brokeupwithme.Ididn’
    tfi
    ghther,Ij
    ustl
    ether
    betill
    shestar
    tedposti
    ngpict
    uresofhersonon
    socialmedi
    a.Thatboyismine,evenabli
    nd
    mancanseei t.”
    “
    Whatdidy
    oudowi
    thher
    ?Di
    dyouhav
    esex
    wi
    thher
    ?”
    “
    No,shesai
    ditwaspai
    nful
    thenIj
    ustr
    ubbed
    mysel
    fonher.
    ”
    Tendaichuckl
    ed.“Andshegotpr
    egnantf
    rom
    yourubbingyour
    selfonherl
    i
    keahorny
    teenager
    ? ”
    “
    Iej
    acul
    atedonher
    .”
    “
    Areyoudumporjustst
    upi
    d?Sowhot
    oldy
    ou
    t
    hatt
    hatchi
    ldi
    syours?”
    “
    Hel
    ooksl
    i
    keme.
    ”
    “Youmustbesmoki ngwit
    hyourears.You
    cameallt
    hewayf rom y
    ourti
    nyvi
    llagetosayal
    l
    thi
    snonsense.Youmustbecrazy.Wheredo
    youwork?”
    “
    Iam j
    obhunt
    ing.
    ”
    “Keepj
    obhunt
    ingandst
    ayawayf
    rom myson
    andmygir
    lf
    ri
    end.Youwi
    llr
    egr
    eti
    t.
    ”
    Hegoti nhiscaranddroveawayl eavi
    ngThami
    standi
    ngtherefeeli
    ngdegraded.Het ookout
    hi
    sphoneandl ookedathisson’
    spi ct
    ure
    wonderingwhyt hatmancouldn’tseethatthat
    wasnothi sson.Hisheartbr
    okeatt hethought
    ofhim notbeingabletoseehissonandhav i
    ng
    anothermanr aisehi
    m.
    Hi
    sphoner
    angashewal
    kedt
    hroughRai
    lPar
    k
    mal
    lgoi
    ngt
    ostat
    ion.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Howdi
    ditgo?
    ”
    “
    Hebel
    i
    evest
    hat
    ’shi
    sson.
    ”
    Hisfri
    endchuckled.“
    Ofcausehewi l
    l
    ,that
    ’s
    whathehasbeenmadet obel
    i
    eve.Heisgoing
    tolookathissontonightandr
    eali
    zethatboy
    doeslookli
    key ouormay beheknowsandhei s
    j
    ustindenial.
    ”
    “Idon’
    tknowbutIwanttohav erel
    ati
    onship
    withmyson.IknowIwon’ tgi
    vehim muchbutI
    wanttobethereforhi
    ml i
    keaf at
    herwould.
    Lonascanstaywithhersi
    ster
    ’shusband,that
    ’s
    fi
    nebutIwantmyson. ”

    *
    **

    Pi
    err
    ehandedmecof
    feeandsatdown.
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    Itookasi
    ppaci
    ngupanddown.Thedoct
    or
    fi
    nall
    ywal
    kedoutandl
    ookedather
    .
    “
    Mrs.Abe”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Ok,ever
    ythingisfi
    ne.Iknowyouarev er
    y
    worri
    edbutwear eworkingr
    eall
    yhardtosave
    him.Wehav etorunafewscanssot hatwe
    mayknowf orsurewhatwear edeal
    i
    ngwi th.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    buti
    sheoknow?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Hei
    sok.Hei
    sst
    abl
    ebutwehav
    etokeep
    acl
    oseey
    eonhim.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Youwel
    come.
    ”
    Pi
    err
    est
    oodup.
    “
    Um shoul
    dwegoandseeSummer
    ?”
    Il
    ookedathi
    m andnodded.“
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Ok.Ial
    readyi
    nqui
    redaboutwher
    ehei
    s.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Ifol
    lowedaf
    terhim,minutesl
    aterwest
    epped
    i
    nsideSummer ’
    sroom.Ilookedatheri
    nnocent
    faceandsmil
    edsadly.Shehadsomescr at
    ches
    onherandherli
    ttl
    ehandwasbandaged.
    “
    What
    ’swr
    ongwi
    thherhand?
    ”
    Pier
    relookedatthebandagedhand.“
    It
    ’spar
    tof
    theminorinj
    uri
    es.”
    “
    Ok.Atl
    eastshei
    sok.Wecango.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    eleav
    ingher
    ?”
    “
    Ican’
    ttakeherf
    orsheneedscl
    osebyhel
    pand
    mysonalsoneedsme.
    “
    Ok,
    soshewi
    l
    lbeal
    one?
    ”
    Il
    ookedatherandsi
    ghed.“Unfort
    unatel
    y.My
    sonreal
    l
    yneedsme.IfIcouldtakeherwith,
    I
    woul
    dbutsheneedsmedi calat
    tenti
    on.Iwil
    l
    comeback.
    ”
    “
    Iunder
    stand,
    may
    behermot
    herwi
    l
    lcome
    backaf
    terhear
    ingshei
    sinhospi
    tal
    .”
    “
    Ihopeso.
    ”
    Il
    ookedatSummeronel astti
    mewithasmi le,
    shedidlooksomuchl i
    keherfather
    .Icaressed
    hercuteface,i
    tfel
    twrongl eavi
    ngherall
    alone
    wit
    hnoonebyhersi de.Withasighandheav y
    heart
    ,Iwalkedout.

    *
    **

    Tendaiparkedhi
    scarinfr
    ontofhishouset
    hen
    walkedinsi
    deandlookedatLonasreadi
    nga
    text
    book.
    “
    Wher
    eisJuni
    or?
    ”
    “
    Hei
    ssl
    eepi
    ng.
    ”
    “Iwantt
    otakehi
    m wi
    th.I
    twoul
    dcheermama
    up.”
    Lonassmi
    l
    ed.“
    Ok.
    ”
    Hewenttothebaby’
    sroom thenl
    ookedathi
    s
    sonforawhil
    ebefor
    epicki
    ngupandwalking
    outwit
    hhisbabybag.
    “
    Ok.Iwi
    l
    lseey
    oul
    ater
    .”
    “
    Icancomewi
    thand-
    “
    “
    It
    ’sok,
    Icant
    akecar
    eofmyson.
    ”
    Lonassmi
    l
    ed.“
    Ok.
    ”
    Hewal kedoutandsecuredhi
    m ont hebaby
    seatbeforedr
    ivi
    ngof ft
    hepri
    vatehospit
    alwit
    h
    him.Awhi l
    eaterhewalkedwithJuniori
    nside
    aft
    ersendinghisfr
    iendwhowor kedinthe
    hospi
    tal amessage.
    “
    Tendai
    !”
    “
    Sur
    elai
    taka…”
    “
    Ist
    haty
    ourson?
    ”
    “
    Yeah,
    Iwantt
    odoDNAt
    est
    s.”
    “
    Youar
    esuspect
    ingf
    oul
    play
    ?”
    “
    Ijustwantt
    obesur
    e.”
    Hi
    sfr
    iendsmi
    l
    ed.“
    Ok,
    comet
    hisway
    .”

    *
    **

    Thabi
    lel
    ookedatherfoodasi
    tgotcold
    wonderi
    ngwhereherchil
    dwasandifshehad
    eat
    enornot.Hermotherwal
    kedoverand
    l
    ookedather.
    “
    Star
    vingy
    our
    sel
    fwi
    l
    lnotf
    indAshl
    ey.
    ”
    “
    IfIdi
    dn’
    tleav
    ehershewoul
    dst
    il
    lbeher
    e.”
    “I
    thashappenedandt
    her
    eisnot
    hingwecando
    abouti
    t.
    ”
    “
    Eazi
    knowswher
    emydaught
    eri
    s.”
    “
    Youhavetostopblami
    ngsomeoneel
    sef
    or
    y
    ourcar
    elessnessandmov
    eon.”
    “
    Ijustwantmydaught
    er.
    ”
    “Youwantt omakey ourselffeel betterby
    blamingt hatpoorwoman.Shedi dn’
    tdo
    any t
    hingtoy ou,youwentaf terherhusbandand
    unfortunatel
    yf orherhewasweakenought o
    sleepwi t
    hy ou.Shedi dn’tsayany thi
    ngt oyou
    wheny outhoughty ouhadr uinedherweddi ng
    dayandshedi dn’tsayany t
    hingwheny ou
    teamedupwi t
    hhersi sterwishi ngdeat hupon
    herbaby .Shedi dn’tsayany thingwheny out ol
    d
    thepol i
    cesheknewwher eyourchi l
    disneither
    i
    sshesay ingany thingwheny oukeephar assing
    her.Youneedt ogr owupandt aker esponsibil
    it
    y
    foryouract i
    ons.Woul di tkil
    lyout ojustaccept
    thatyourcar el
    essnessandi gnor ancei sthe
    reasony ourdaught eri smi ssingt oday ?Why
    doesi thurtyousomucht ot aker esponsibil
    ity
    foryouract i
    ons? ”
    “
    Ijustwantmybaby
    .”
    “
    Thenl
    ookhar
    der
    .Iam t
    ir
    edofbaby
    ingy
    ou.
    ”
    Hermot
    herwal
    kedawayasherphoner
    ang.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hey
    ,it
    ’sRi
    char
    d.”
    “
    Oh,
    hi…”
    “
    Emmawasact
    ual
    l
    yaski
    ngabouty
    out
    oday
    .”
    Shesl
    ight
    lysmi
    l
    ed.“
    Yourchi
    l
    dissomet
    hing
    el
    se.
    ”
    Richar
    dlaughed.“
    Tel
    lmeabouti
    t.Howi
    sthe
    searchgoi
    ng?”
    “
    West
    il
    lhav
    en’
    tfoundhery
    et.
    ”
    “
    Wel
    lIwi
    l
    lal
    sokeepl
    ooki
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “Will
    itbeoki
    fIcomeandcol
    lectyoufora
    roundofmovieswi
    thmyki
    ds,theyare
    breathi
    ngdownonmynecktoinvi
    teyou.”
    Thabi
    l
    elaughed.“
    Yourki
    dsar
    efor
    war
    drr
    a!”
    “
    Sof
    orwar
    d.”
    “
    It
    ’sok,
    eit
    herway
    ,Ineedsomet
    imeout
    .”
    “
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    lcomeandpi
    cky
    ouup.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hehungupt henshecombedherhai randput
    onhershoes.Mi nut
    eslatershewalkedoutof
    thehousewhi l
    ehermot herdrankhertea
    sil
    ent
    ly.Thabil
    egotinRichard’
    scarthensmil
    ed.
    “
    Hi…”
    “
    Hey
    ,shoul
    dwego?
    ”
    “
    Yeah…”
    Hedr
    oveof
    fwi
    thasmi
    l
    e.

    *
    **

    Gi
    nalookedatt
    heDoct
    orandsmi
    l
    edashe
    di
    schar
    gedher.
    “
    Youneedt
    otakei
    teasy
    .”
    “
    Thanky
    ouDoc.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    ewel
    come.
    ”
    Thedoctorwal
    kedoutt
    henTakuhel
    pedher
    dress.“
    Abeisgoi
    ngtobef
    ine.
    ”
    “
    Ihopeso.Ir
    eal
    l
    ywantt
    ogot
    her
    e.”
    “
    Youcan’
    t,
    youhear
    dthedoct
    or.
    ”
    Shelookedathi m andsighed.“Maybewedi da
    badjobraisingourkids.LookatTendai,raising
    achil
    dwhoi sn’
    this,Abe’smarri
    ageisfall
    ing
    apar
    t,hiskidskeepdy ingorgoingmissing, Tino
    i
    snoty etmar ri
    ed,hi
    sagemat esar
    emar r
    ied
    wit
    hkids.”
    “
    Hewant
    stogetmar
    ri
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Tot
    hatunder
    agegi
    rl
    ?Shei
    stooy
    oung.
    ”
    “Shei
    snottooy oung,t
    hat
    ’st
    heri
    ghtf
    ulagefor
    him.Hewill
    teachherwhatsheneedstoknow.
    Thatgi
    rli
    saper fectwi
    fef
    orhi
    m.”
    “
    WhataboutTasha?St
    il
    li
    nlov
    ewi
    thadead
    man.
    ”
    “That
    ’slov
    e, probablyt
    hefir
    stti
    meshe’sev
    er
    beeninlove.Italwaysdri
    vesyoucr
    azy.What
    aboutthethingsy oudi
    d?”
    “
    It
    ’snott
    hesame.
    ”
    “I
    tis.It’sthesame.Shewi llonedaylookback
    andl augh.Wedi dagr eatjobasparents.We
    can’tpr ot
    ectthosekidsfrom eachand
    everything,theyhav
    et olearnandonedayalso
    showt hei
    rkidstheri
    ght f
    ul way
    .”
    “Weshouldn’
    thav
    et ol
    dAbehewasadopted.I
    t
    dist
    urbshi
    m.Hedoesn’tsayi
    tbuti
    tdi
    stur
    bs
    hi
    m.Hemustf eeloutoft
    heequati
    on.
    ”
    “
    Iknow,
    Ijustwi
    shIcanf
    ixourr
    elat
    ionshi
    p.”
    “Whycan’
    tyou?Thatboyl
    ovesy
    ou,
    heal
    way
    s
    has.
    ”
    Takusadl
    ylookeddown.“
    Iwi
    shact
    ionscoul
    d
    berev
    ersed.
    ”
    “Whathappened,happened,
    therei
    snot
    hingwe
    candoaboutitthanmov eon.”
    “
    Yeah.It
    hinkIal
    soneedt
    ogot
    her
    e.”
    “No,
    Tinoisenough.Heknowswhatneedst
    o
    bedone.Theyareclosewi
    thAbe.
    ”
    Takulookedathiswi f
    ereadingbetweenthe
    l
    inesthenjustnodded.Hel ookedatherli
    ps
    att
    empt edtokissherbutthenhedidn’twantt
    o
    pushhisluck.Heleanedbackandwat chedher
    fi
    nishgetti
    ngdressed.

    *
    **

    Iwal
    kedi
    nsi
    deMalcol
    m’sr
    oom andsmi
    l
    ed
    st
    ari
    ngathi
    m.Hesmil
    ed.
    “
    Mom!Doy
    ouknowwhatIat
    e?”
    Ir
    ushedov
    erandhuggedhi
    m.“
    Arey
    ouok?
    ”
    “
    Youar
    esqueezi
    ngmybones.
    ”
    Ist
    eppedback.“
    Iam sohappyy
    ouar
    efi
    ne.Ar
    e
    youinpai
    nsomewhere?”
    “
    No,
    Iam f
    ine.Wher
    eisDad?
    ”
    Ismil
    ed.“
    Hehadt
    ogoandgety
    ouagood
    doct
    or.Hewi
    ll
    beback.
    ”
    “
    Oh?Youcant
    ell
    himt
    ocomeback.
    ”
    “
    Ok.Takei
    teasy
    .”
    Thedoct
    orwal
    kedi
    nandsmi
    l
    ed.“
    Oh,
    thank
    God.
    ”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Iknow.
    ”
    “Heisnotbehav
    ingl
    i
    kesomeonewhoal
    most
    died.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ousomuch.
    ”
    “
    Justdoi
    ngmyj
    ob.
    ”
    “
    Youdon’
    thav
    eanaccent
    .”
    “
    Yeah,
    Iam notFr
    ench.SoIhav
    epr
    escr
    ibed
    hi
    m somef
    ewt
    hings.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “Buthewil
    lbefi
    ne.Heactuall
    ysurpr
    isedme.
    HecangohomebutIneedy outokeephim
    dehydr
    ated.Andheshoul
    dt akei
    teasy.”
    “
    Ok.Thanky
    ousomuch.
    ”
    “
    Justdoi
    ngmyj
    ob.
    ”
    Hewalkedoutt
    henIt
    urnedbackt
    ohi
    m and
    ki
    ssedhim.
    “
    Iam sohappy
    .”
    “
    Arey
    oucal
    l
    ingdaddy
    ?”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lhi
    m.”
    “
    Don’
    tfor
    get
    .Ihav
    eal
    ott
    otel
    lhi
    m.”
    Iswal
    l
    owedhar
    dst
    ari
    ngathi
    sexci
    tedf
    ace.

    *
    **
    Intheear lyhoursofthemorning,t
    heelevator
    door sopenedatAbe’ shousethenTinowal ked
    i
    nt hehouse.Hewal kedtotheguestroom and
    sli
    ght lyopenedthedoor.Hesmi l
    edstari
    ngat
    Mal colm sleepi
    ngthenwalkedoverandf i
    xed
    hisbl ankets.Hesteppedoutandwalked
    upst airst
    oAbe’sroom.

    *
    **

    Unabl etosl
    eep, Ipagedt hr
    oughthef ashion
    magazi neslyi
    ngont opofthebed.Ipaused
    l
    isteningtofootstepst hensi
    ghedwonder i
    ng
    whyMal col
    m wasawake.Igotupi nmyshor t
    nightdressthenpickedupAbe’ sfl
    ipflopashe
    knockedgent lyont hedoor.Annoyed, Iwalked
    tothedoorandopened.Myhear tskippedasI
    l
    ookedatamal efigure.
    “
    It
    ’sme…”
    Idroppedtheshoeandlaughedt
    ryi
    ngt
    oshake
    offthefear
    .“Ti
    no!Youwil
    lkil
    lme.
    ”
    Helookedatshoel
    aughi
    ng.“
    OrIwi
    l
    lbeki
    l
    led
    wi
    thashoe.”
    “
    Mxm,Ithoughti
    twasMal
    col
    m,Iwasgoi
    ngt
    o
    whi
    phi
    slit
    tl
    eass.”
    “
    Youar
    eabusi
    nghi
    m.”
    Ismi
    ledr
    eli
    evedt
    oseehi
    m.“
    Iam sohappyt
    o
    seey
    ou.”
    Hedroppedhi
    sbagandhuggedmet i
    ght
    ly.
    Tear
    sfil
    ledmyey
    esasmyl i
    psshook.
    “
    Iam soscar
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Hewi
    l
    lbef
    ine.Iknowhewi
    l
    lbe.
    ”
    “
    Isaidsomemeanthi
    ngs,
    Idi
    dn’
    tmeani
    t.Iwas
    j
    ustangryand…”
    “
    Iunder
    stand,
    weal
    lreachabr
    eaki
    ngpoi
    nt.
    ”
    Isi
    ghedasheheldmet i
    ght
    ly.Hest
    eppedback
    secondsl
    aterandl
    ookedatme.
    “
    Whyar
    eyouawake?
    ”
    “
    Icoul
    dn’
    tsl
    eep.Iwi
    shhecanj
    ustwakeup.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    ougoi
    ngback?
    ”
    Iwalkedt
    othebedandsatdown.Hecl
    osedt
    he
    doorbehi
    ndhim andputhi
    sbagdownt
    hen
    walkedover
    .
    “
    Arey
    ou?
    ”
    “Wear
    egoi
    ngtohavetoincl
    udet
    hef
    ami
    l
    iest
    o
    hel
    puswi
    thourpr
    oblems.”
    “
    Ist
    hatwhaty
    ouwant
    ?”
    At
    earr
    oll
    eddownmycheek.“
    Ilov
    ehi
    m.”
    Hewipedi
    tawaywi
    tht
    hepadofhi
    sthumb.“
    Is
    i
    tenough?
    ”
    “
    Wewi
    l
    lwor
    koni
    t.
    ”
    “
    Youdeser
    vebet
    terandy
    ouknowi
    t.
    ”Hepul
    l
    ed
    meupl ooki
    ngrighti
    ntomyeyes.“
    Youdeser ve
    somuchbet t
    er.Idon’
    tdi
    sputet
    hefactthatyou
    l
    ovehim.Iknowy oudoandalsothatheloves
    youbutyoudeservebett
    er.
    ”
    “
    Tino…”
    Hesmil
    ed.“I
    sn’ti
    tfunnyhowIhav
    etol
    ovey
    ou
    f
    rom t
    hesidel
    ines.
    ”
    “
    Tinost
    op…”
    “
    Andy
    ouknowIcant
    reaty
    oubet
    ter
    .”
    “
    Iam y
    ourbr
    other
    ’swi
    fe.
    ”
    “
    Sowhat
    ?”
    Il
    ookedathi
    m wi
    tht
    ear
    sinmyey
    es.
    “Youcan’
    tdenythebondbet
    weenus.Andi
    f
    thi
    s…whatIfeeli
    sasin,t
    henIam goi
    ngt
    o
    conti
    nuesi
    nning.
    ”
    Iswal
    lowedhar dashel
    eanedoverand
    passi
    onatelykissedme.Heputhishandson
    mywai stpull
    i
    ngmecl osert
    ohim aswekissed.
    Hebr okethekissandt ookof fthenightdress
    thenlookedatmynakednessbef orekissingmy
    neck.Iclosedmyey esweakeningashi sl i
    ps
    mov eddownt omybr east.Imoanedsof t
    lyas
    hewor kedonmyni ppleswithhismout ht hen
    pushedmeont hebedt aki
    ngof fhi
    st -
    shirt.My
    pussythrobbedasIl ookedatt hebulgei nhis
    pantsthreateningt
    oj ustri
    pthrough.Aber an
    throughmymi nd,t
    hiswashi sbr ot
    herand…
    Ti
    norubbedt
    heti
    pofhishardthi
    ckdi
    ckonmy
    cl
    i
    tki
    ssingme.Heranhi
    sdickupanddownmy
    sl
    i
    taswebothbreat
    hedheavil
    y.
    “
    AhhTi
    no….
    ”
    Helookedi
    nmyeyesasImov
    edmywai
    stnow
    dy
    ingtohavet
    hatdi
    cki
    nsi
    deme.
    “
    Shoul
    dI?
    ”
    “
    Yes…”
    Hepr
    essedatmyent
    rancet
    hengent
    ly
    #r
    emoved.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #61

    Withmyl egonhi sshoul der,Ti


    nohel dmywai st
    poundi ngintomeasmyent ir
    ebodyst iff
    ened,
    myt oescur l
    edatintensity.Hewat chedmeasI
    screamedwhi l
    eIconv ul
    sedsqui rti
    ng.Myey es
    turnedt othebackl ikeademonwhi lethewav e
    ofpl easureparalyzedme.Ti nogr untedmov ing
    fasteranddeeperwhi lemypussyt ightened
    aroundhi m.Hi sdickthickenedev enmor e
    i
    nsi demet henheshothi swarml oaddeep
    i
    nsi demef i
    ll
    ingmeup.Hest il
    ledwhi l
    ehisdick
    spur toutallhissement henhesl owlyslidout
    andpushi
    nghisdickbackinsidewi
    thhi
    s
    semen.Heleanedoverandkissedme.
    “
    Ift
    hisi
    sasi
    nbabe,
    Iam notgoi
    ngt
    ost
    op.
    ”
    Tear
    srandownmycheeksasIki
    ssedhi
    m back.

    *
    **

    Hoursl at
    eratdawn, Thabi leslowlyopenedher
    eyesandr eali
    zedshewasst illsl
    eepi
    ngon
    Emma’ sbedwi thEmma’ slegont opofher.She
    l
    ookedatt heirhandswhi chwer est
    il
    lti
    ed
    togetherbyapi eceofcl oth.Shesl owlyunti
    ed
    i
    tandt iptoppedout .Shewal kedtoRichard’
    s
    room andknockedbef orewal ki
    ngin.She
    l
    ookedathi ml yingont opofhi sbed,hehad
    probablyfal
    lenasleepwai ti
    ngf ormet oputhis
    daughtertobed.
    “
    Richar
    d!”
    Heopenedhisey
    esandlookedatmet
    hen
    smi
    led.“
    Shi
    t!Yousl
    epther
    e?”
    “
    Sheti
    edourhandst
    oget
    hersot
    hatIdon’
    t
    l
    eav
    e.”
    Hel
    aughedget
    ti
    ngup.“
    Iwi
    l
    ldr
    opy
    ouof
    f.
    ”
    “
    Shouldn’
    tyoubeprepar
    ingt
    heki
    dsand
    y
    ourselft
    owork?”
    “
    Yeah,
    butIcandr
    opy
    ouof
    ffi
    rst
    .”
    “No,i
    t’
    sok.Iwi
    llhel
    pwitht
    hekidstheny ou
    dropmeoffaft
    erdroppi
    ngthem atschool.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    oucool
    wit
    hthat
    ?”
    “
    Yes,
    tot
    all
    y.Thanks.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok.
    ”
    Iwal
    kedbacktoEmma’
    sroom andshookher
    .
    “Emma,wakeup.
    ”
    Shetur
    neddeadasl
    eep.Ishookherev
    enmor
    e.
    “Emma,Iam goi
    ng.
    ”
    Herey
    essnappedopent
    henshel
    ookedatme.
    “
    What?”
    “
    Wakeup.Youneedt
    ogot
    oschool
    .It
    ’s
    Monday
    .”
    “
    Ihat
    eMonday
    s.”
    “
    Don’
    tweal
    l
    ?Wakeup.
    ”
    Ihelpedherupandwentwi
    thhertot
    he
    bathroom wher
    eIhel
    pedherbat
    h.
    “Icanbat
    hmy sel
    fyouknow?I
    t’
    sKar
    abowho
    needshel
    p.”
    “
    Isee,
    youar
    eabi
    ggi
    rl
    .”
    Shewrappedherupwit
    hatowelthenThabi
    l
    e
    cl
    eanedthetubandwal
    kedtoKarabo’
    sroom
    whereshegothi
    m andbat
    hedhim.
    Awhi l
    elat
    ershewalkedwit
    hbothcleanki
    dsin
    thesit
    ti
    ngroom andwenttotheki
    tchenwher
    e
    Richar
    dwascookingwithanapronontopof
    hissmartsui
    t.
    “
    Done?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Iwantt
    opackt
    hei
    rlunch.
    ”
    “
    Ever
    ythi
    ngi
    sint
    hef
    ri
    dge.Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Thabi
    l
    esmi
    l
    ed.“
    Ahandsondadi
    ssexy
    .”
    Hesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Iknowr
    ight
    ?”
    Irol
    ledmyey
    eswi
    thasmi
    l
    eandopenedt
    he
    fr
    idge.

    *
    **

    Mapulafi
    xedhermakeupt henstoodupputti
    ng
    onherheels.Shewal
    kedoutofherhouse
    hol
    dingherhandbaginherti
    ghtformalpant
    s
    andablazer.Mamikiwal
    kedinthroughhergate
    asMapulaunlockedhercar.
    “
    Mapul
    awai
    t…”
    Mapul
    aopenedhercardoorandgoti
    nwhi
    l
    e
    Mamikiappr
    oached.“Canwet al
    k?Iam r
    eal
    l
    y
    sor
    ryforwhathappenedincourt
    .”
    “YouareasnakeandIknowy ouwantedTendai
    soyouthoughtify
    out est
    if
    iedinhisf
    avorhe
    wil
    lcometoy ou.I
    t’
    sashamet hi
    ngsdidn’
    twork
    outthewayyouwant ed.St
    epbackf r
    om my
    car.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.Ineedhel
    pfi
    ndi
    ngaj
    ob.
    ”
    Mapul
    ast
    art
    edhercar
    .“Thengoandl
    ook.
    By
    e!”
    Sher ev
    ersedanddr oveoffheadedtoTendai ’
    s
    offi
    ce.Shepar kedt hecarattheparki
    ngl otand
    rubbedherl i
    pst ogetherst
    eppingout.Withher
    l
    ongheel s,shewal kedinsi
    det hepr
    emi sesand
    smiledatther eception.
    “
    Hisweet
    y,i
    sMr
    .Ti
    n?”
    Ther ecept
    ioni
    stl
    ookedatherwi
    thanat
    ti
    tude.
    “Yes.Doy ouhaveanappoi
    ntment
    ?”
    “
    No,
    hei
    sexpect
    ingme.
    ”
    “
    Hedidn’
    tsayanyt
    hing.Thi
    sisawor
    kpl
    acenot
    awhorehouse.
    ”
    Mapulachuckledstari
    ngatherthenwalked
    awaygoingtoTendai ’
    soffi
    ce.Sheopenedthe
    doorandwalkedin.Tendailookedatherasshe
    putherhandbagont hetabl
    e.
    “
    Hi…”
    “
    Got
    otheHR,
    theywi
    l
    lgi
    vey
    ouacont
    ract
    .”
    “
    Arey
    ouok?
    ”
    “
    Iam f
    ine.
    ”
    Mapul
    awalkedr
    oundhistabl
    eandl
    ookedat
    hi
    m.“Youl
    ookstr
    essed.
    ”
    “
    Iam f
    ine.
    ”
    “
    Tendai
    ,youcanal
    way
    stel
    lme.
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tthi
    nkJuni
    ori
    smychi
    l
    d.”
    “
    What
    ?Whatmakesy
    out
    hinkso?
    ”
    “
    Ther
    eisaguycl
    aimi
    nghi
    m.”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry,
    goanddoDNAt
    est
    s.”
    “
    Iam wai
    ti
    ngf
    ort
    her
    esul
    ts.
    ”
    “Maybeheisyour
    sandy
    ouar
    ejustst
    ressi
    ng
    overnot
    hing.
    ”
    “
    Ever
    yonecanseet
    hatt
    hatchi
    l
    dlooksnot
    hing
    l
    i
    keme.”
    “
    Justwai
    tfort
    her
    esul
    ts.
    ”
    “
    Yeah,
    goandcol
    l
    ecty
    ourcont
    ract
    .”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Shestoodupandwal kedoutwi t
    hherhandbag
    l
    eavinghi
    mj ustsi
    tt
    ingthere.Shesomehowf el
    t
    sorr
    yforhi
    m andtoact ual
    l
    yt hi
    nkshewanted
    tohimtorai
    seanotherman’ schil
    dmadeher
    questi
    onher
    self.

    *
    **
    Tsotl
    helookedatTino’
    slastseenandsighed
    putt
    ingherphonebackinherpocket.Herfri
    end
    walkedovertoherasshewal kedt
    owardsher
    cl
    ass.
    “
    Ist
    hatanewphone?
    ”
    Thefri
    endtooki
    toutfr
    om herpocketand
    envi
    ouslyl
    ookedatt
    heiPhone.“
    Whoboughti
    t
    fory
    ou?”
    Tsot
    lhesmi
    l
    ed.“
    ItwasTi
    no.
    ”
    “
    Isee.Whatel
    sedi
    dhebuyy
    ouf
    ri
    end?
    ”
    “Myownlaptopf
    ri
    endandy
    ouknowhowIwas
    str
    uggl
    i
    ng.’
    Shesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Hei
    sforkeeps.Iam happyf
    or
    you.
    ”
    “
    Thanks.Iam l
    uckyt
    ohav
    ehi
    m.”
    “
    Youmustbegi
    vi
    ngi
    ttohi
    m good.
    ”
    “
    Wear
    enothav
    ingsex.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Wear
    enothav
    ingsex.
    ”
    “
    Youl
    i
    e.”
    “
    Iam t
    ell
    i
    ngy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Wow!
    ”
    “
    Iknow,
    hel
    ovesmeandhewant
    stomar
    ry
    me.”
    Thefri
    endsmil
    edpressi
    ngthephonefora
    whil
    ethengav
    eitback.“Youar
    esolucky
    shame!”
    “
    Iknowr
    ight
    ?”
    “
    Yeah,
    any
    way
    sby
    efr
    iend!
    ”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Tsot
    lhepr
    oceededt
    ohercl
    ass.
    *
    **

    AtAbe’shouse,Ti
    nowalkeddownst
    air
    sthen
    openedMalcolm’sdoor
    .Hewalkedoverand
    wokehim up.
    “
    Mal
    c!”
    Hesl
    owl
    yopenedhi
    sey
    est
    henl
    ookedathi
    m
    wi
    thasmi
    le.
    “
    Uncl
    eTi
    no!
    ”
    “
    Myni
    gga!
    ”
    Mal
    col
    mjumpedi
    nhi
    sar
    msmaki
    ngTi
    nol
    augh.
    “
    Ok,
    somebodymi
    ssedme.
    ”
    “
    Isdaddyher
    etoo?
    ”
    “
    No,
    wear
    egoi
    ngt
    oseehi
    m.”
    Hej
    umpedexci
    tedl
    y.“
    Real
    l
    y?”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    Ipeakedi
    nandl
    ookedatt
    hem.
    “
    Tino…”
    Ti
    nol
    ookedatMal
    col
    m.“
    Iam comi
    ng.
    ”
    Hewal
    kedoutandl
    ookedatme.“
    What
    ’s
    wr
    ong?
    ”
    “
    Idi
    dn’
    ttel
    lhi
    m.”
    “
    Why
    ?”
    “
    Idon’
    twantt
    ost
    resshi
    m.”
    “
    Don’
    tyout
    hinkheshoul
    dknow?
    ”
    “
    Hei
    sgoi
    ngt
    obesowor
    ri
    ed.
    ”
    Tinosighed.“
    Ok,whatdoIt
    ell
    him now
    becauseIthoughtwewereal
    lgoi
    ngt osee
    hi
    m? ”
    “
    Maybehei sawake,
    thedoct
    orssaytheyjust
    want
    edt orunafewmorescans.Theyst
    opped
    t
    hebleeding.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    may
    behei
    sawake.Wewi
    l
    lgo,
    Iwi
    l
    lremai
    n
    i
    nthecarwi
    thMal
    col
    m whi
    l
    eyoucheckon
    hi
    m.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hewal kedbackinsi
    det heguestr oom asI
    closedmyey esfeel
    i
    nggui l
    tywei ghmedown.
    GodknowsIwasnotanydi f
    fer
    entf rom Thabil
    e
    whosl eptwi
    thAbe’sfatherorLina.Tearsf i
    l
    led
    myey esanddroppedt omycheek, Iwaswor se
    thanAbe.Iwi pedawaymyt earsbutt heykept
    roll
    ingdownmycheeks.Hi sphoner angfrom
    myhandbag.It ooki
    toutandanswer ed.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Mam,cany
    oucomet
    othehospi
    tal
    ,nowi
    fyou
    can?
    ”
    “
    What
    ’swr
    ong?
    ”
    “
    Pleasecome.Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Theladyhungupt
    henIwi
    pedmyf
    aceopeni
    ng
    theguestr
    oom.
    “
    Tino,
    Ihavetogo,t
    hehospitalj
    ustcal
    l
    ed.Mal
    c,
    y
    ouwi l
    lcomewithyouruncl
    e.Bye.
    ”

    *
    **

    Atthehospital,
    Isteppedoutofataxipayi
    ng
    thenrushedoutget t
    ingi
    nside.Mi
    nuteslat
    er,
    Abe’sdoctorlookedatme.
    “
    Thanky
    ouf
    orcomi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Isheok?What
    ’sgoi
    ng?I
    ssomet
    hingwr
    ong?
    ”
    “No.No,
    every
    thingi
    sfine.Wedidt
    hescans
    andranafewtests,
    everyt
    hingi
    sfi
    ne.Wehad
    doneawrongdiagnosi
    s.”
    “
    Real
    l
    y?”
    “
    Yes.Mi
    stakeshappen,
    Iguesst
    hat’
    stoprove
    t
    hatwearehumansandwear enotper
    fect
    .”
    “
    So?
    ”
    Thedoct
    orsmi
    l
    ed.“
    Hei
    sawake.
    ”
    “
    OhmyGod!
    ”
    “
    Yes.Andhehasbeenaski
    ngfory
    ou.Wehad
    t
    omov ehi
    m.Comewi t
    hme. ”
    Iwalkedwi t
    hthedoctorunabl
    etohi
    demy
    happiness.Myheartpoundedaswe
    approachedadoort henheopenedi
    t.
    “
    Iny
    ougo!
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou…”
    Iwalkedi
    nsi
    det
    heroom andl
    ookedathi
    m.He
    tur
    nedtomeandsmiled.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    Tearswetmycheeksandwentov erand
    huggedhim.“
    Iwassowor r
    ied.Idi
    dn’tmean
    ever
    ythi
    ngIsai
    d,Iwasreal
    l
    yangr y,
    IswearI
    di
    dn’tmeanit
    ,youknowme. ”
    “
    IknowandIunderst
    and.Ihav
    eputy
    ou
    t
    hroughsomuch,Iki
    ndofexpect
    edi
    t.Iwas
    wrongt okeepSummerf rom y ou,Ishouldhav e
    tol
    dy ouandIam sor rybabe…IknowIkeep
    apologizi
    ngbutt histimeIsweari t
    ’sgoingtobe
    dif
    ferent.IswearIsawmyl i
    fef l
    ashbefor emy
    eyes,IthoughtIwoul dnev erseey ouagai n.
    Malcolm wi l
    lfor
    ev erbelonely.From hereon, I
    am goingt obehonest .Ididn’tsleepwithAy a.I
    wouldnev erdisrespectyoul i
    ket hatagain.”
    “Ibel
    iev
    eyou.Iam sor
    rytoo.MaybeIhavenot
    beenaneasypersontotell
    thi
    ngsto.Il
    ove
    you.”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    Hepull
    edmecloserandki
    ssedme.Ist
    epped
    backsmil
    i
    ng.
    “UhMal
    colmisdownstai
    rswit
    hTi
    no.Hecame
    earl
    i
    ert
    hismorni
    ngall
    foryou.
    ”
    Abef
    rownedl
    ooki
    ngatme.“
    Tinoi
    sher
    e?”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    “
    Isee.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Youknowhe’
    sal
    way
    shadasof
    tspotony
    ou.
    ”
    Myhear
    tski
    pped.“
    May
    behej
    ustl
    i
    kesmef
    or
    you.
    ”
    “
    Iguess.Youcangoandcal
    lthem.Howi
    s
    Mal
    c?”
    “
    Heisfi
    ne.Hewasdischargedy
    est
    erday
    .Thi
    s
    t
    ri
    phasreal
    lybeenev
    entful.
    ”
    “Yeah,weshoul
    dgohome.Thi
    spl
    acei
    s
    provi
    ngtobedramat
    ic.
    ”
    Ismil
    edandnodded.“
    Yeah,
    butAy
    aisst
    il
    l
    missi
    ng.
    ”
    “Iam t
    akingSummerwit
    h.”Helookedatme.
    “Sheisgoingt
    ostaywi
    thus.Sheispartofme.
    Sheismydaughter.
    ”
    “Ofcause,
    Iknow.Idon’
    thav
    eapr
    obl
    em wi
    th
    her,
    youknowit.
    ”
    “
    Good.Youcangoandcal
    lthem.
    ”
    “
    Ok.ButIam notsur
    eift
    heyhav
    ear
    ri
    vedas
    y
    et.
    ”
    Iwal
    kedoutthenbumpedint
    oanur
    se.“
    Hi,
    can
    If
    indemergencypi
    ll
    sher
    e?”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #62

    AFEW DAYSLATER

    AtMoemedi’
    sf uner
    al,Bi
    nastoodsti
    l
    l st
    ari
    ngat
    thegr
    avebeingcoveredwit
    hsoilastearsr
    an
    downhercheeks.OneofMoemedi ’
    saunt
    walkedoverandputherar
    m ar
    oundme
    comf or
    ti
    ngher.
    “
    Itwi
    ll
    bealr
    ightchi
    l
    d.Thi
    siswhathappens
    whenyout
    hinkyouarei
    nvi
    nci
    ble,
    youdie.
    ”
    Il
    ookedather
    .“Hesl
    eptwit
    hmysist
    er.He
    sl
    eptwit
    hever
    yone.Howisthatmyf
    ault
    ?”
    “I
    t’
    snotyourfaultt
    hathethoughtbecausehe
    hasmoneyhecandoany thi
    ng.Youshouldn’
    t
    evenbef
    eelingsad,ifIwereyouIwouldbe
    dri
    nki
    ngalcohol.Theworl
    dcanbr eat
    he.”
    Theybot
    hlaughedl
    ooki
    ngdown.
    “Iam tel
    l
    ingyou.Hisunclesarel
    iket
    hat,nna
    personal
    lyIwon’tcryforamanwhore.Iam not
    goingtowastemyt ear
    sli
    kethat
    .Youcheat,
    yougetdiseases,youdieandweburryyou,j
    ust
    l
    ikethis.
    ”
    “
    Iam sohappyt
    ohav
    eyoubymysi
    de.
    ”
    “
    Don’
    tfor
    getMal
    col
    m.”
    “
    Iwon’
    t.Ihav
    etospeakt
    oEazi
    fir
    st.
    ”
    “
    Issheher
    e?”
    “
    Yes,
    shebr
    oughtMal
    col
    m.”
    “
    Tal
    ktoher
    .”
    “
    Ehmma.
    ”

    *
    **

    Meanwhi l
    efrom t
    heot hersi
    de,Moemedi’
    s
    si
    sterlookedatherauntchatti
    ngwit
    hBina
    smili
    ngwhi l
    estandingbesidehermother
    .
    “
    Lookatt
    hesewi
    tches!
    ”
    “
    Theyar
    ecel
    ebr
    ati
    ng.
    ”
    Moemedi ’
    ssistercl
    ickedhertongue.“Theyare
    thi
    eves.Wehav etot akethi
    stocourt.How
    comeev er
    y t
    hingisher sal
    one?Shedoesn’ t
    deserveevenacupf rom mybr ot
    her’
    spr opert
    y.
    Shei
    sev
    il
    .”
    “
    Weshoul
    dhav
    eanot
    hermeet
    ing.
    ”

    *
    **

    I
    nt hecar,Abesatsippi
    ngonhisdri
    nkwithhis
    phoneonhi searwhilest
    ari
    ngatEazist
    anding
    wit
    hMal colm st
    ari
    ngatMoemedi’sgravebeing
    fi
    l
    led.
    “
    Yeah?
    ”
    “Hey,Iwantedtotel
    lyouthatit
    ’sfi
    neify
    ou
    won’tacceptmydaughter.I
    t’sfi
    neify
    ouwon’
    t
    helplook.IcandoitonmyownbutIhopey ou
    areabletolivewi
    thyoursel
    f.
    ”
    Abesi
    ghed.“MywifeandIdiscussedthi
    sand
    wearegoingtohel
    psearchforAshleybutI
    hav
    eaf eel
    ingshei
    snomor e.It
    ’sbeenlong.
    ”
    “
    Iwoul
    dfeel
    iti
    fshewasdead.
    ”
    “Ok.Iam j
    ustt
    ryi
    ngtohel
    py oubecauseweare
    goingtokeepsear
    chi
    ngforsomethingwhen
    therei
    sn’
    t.
    ”
    “
    Iknowi
    t’
    sther
    e.”
    “
    Ok,dowhatf
    eelsr
    ight
    .Mywi
    feandIwi
    l
    lhel
    p
    wher
    ewecan.”
    Thabi
    l
    esi
    ghed.“
    May
    bey
    oushoul
    daskEazi
    .”
    “
    Askherwhat
    ?”
    “I
    fshetookmydaughter.Iknowshewasangr
    y
    fr
    om thefactt
    hatIsl
    eptwithyoubuti
    t’
    s
    enough.
    ”
    “Mywifeisnotl
    ikethat.Shedoesn’
    tknow
    anyt
    hing.Thi
    sisthereasonIdidn’
    twantmy
    fami
    lytobepartofitbecauseyoucan’tbe
    hel
    ped.”
    “
    Iknowy
    ourwi
    feknowswher
    echi
    l
    dis!
    ”
    “Ok,
    Ihavehadenoughofyoubl
    amingmywife.
    Thehel
    ptolookforAshl
    eycomeswit
    hherand
    i
    fy oucan’tdeal withi tunfortunatelyIam goi ng
    tohavetot akeast epback.Youl eftAshl eyfor
    aparty,l
    eftherwi t
    hast r
    angery oudon’ teven
    knowandnowsi ncey oufindi thar dtot ake
    responsi
    bili
    tyyout hinkyoucanbl amemywi fe.
    Somet hi
    ngy ouj ustnev erhadi ny ou,taking
    responsi
    bili
    ty.Ifthatchi l
    di sdead, youshoul d
    knowandl ivewi tht hefactt haty ouki l
    ledon
    yourownchi ld.Andonemor et hing, i
    fy oukeep
    i
    nsulti
    ngEazi ,youar egoingt or egretit,am I
    clear
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Shehungupt henhelookedatEazi t
    alki
    ngt o
    Moemedi ’
    srel
    ati
    ve.Theyspokeforawhi lethen
    shelaughedmakingherlaughtoo.Mal colm
    tur
    nedtohiscarandwav ed,Abelaughedand
    wavedtoowonder i
    ngifMalcol
    m couldsee.
    Hi
    sphoner
    angt
    henheanswer
    edwi
    thaf
    rown.
    “
    Hell
    o?”
    “
    AbeIj
    ustt
    alkedt
    oyourmot
    her
    .”
    “
    Ok?
    ”
    “Yes,
    Iknowy ouhatemeandwantnot hi
    ngto
    dowithme, Idon’
    tevenblamey oubutIwantto
    helpyou.Yourmothersai
    dy ourwif
    etoldher
    youwer ehavi
    ngproblems.”
    Abel
    eanedbackonhi
    sseat
    .“Yeah.
    ”
    “Iknowy ouprobablywantt okeept hi
    ngs
    privateandhandl ey ourt hingsony ourownbut
    somet imesy ouneedt hef amil
    yther ewithyou
    helpingy ou.I
    t’
    snotj usty ouandEazi butyour
    mar riagehasuni tedt wof ami l
    i
    est ogetherandif
    anyt hinghappens, youshoul dknowt hatyouar
    e
    dest royingthatbondbet weent hef amili
    es.
    CallingEazi ’
    sunclesandaunt stheny ourown
    aunt sanduncl eswi l
    l helpbot hofy ou.”
    “
    Yeah…”
    “
    Iwil
    lcal
    lyouruncl
    esandseeift
    heycanseta
    meet
    ingwithoneortwopeopl
    efrom Eazi
    ’
    s
    famil
    ysoyoucanal
    lsi
    tdownanddi
    scusst
    he
    probl
    ems.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    emyson,
    Iwi
    l
    lal
    way
    sbet
    her
    efory
    ou.
    ”
    TakuhungupasAbesi ghedrel
    ieved.Helooked
    uptowhereEazihadbeenstandingwith
    Malcol
    m andthi
    stimeshewasn’ tther
    e
    anymore.

    *
    **

    Iwal
    kedt
    oBi
    naandsmi
    l
    ed.
    “
    Hi…”
    Shelookedatmewit
    hasmilethenl
    ookedat
    Malcol
    m.“Thanky
    ouforbr
    ingi
    nghim.”
    “
    Moemedi
    washi
    sfat
    her
    .”
    “
    Idon’
    tthi
    nki
    t’
    shar
    dforhi
    m.”
    Ishookmyhead.“
    Hesay
    shi
    sfat
    heri
    sint
    he
    car.
    ”
    Binal
    aughed.“
    Youdi
    dawonder
    fulj
    obfindi
    ng
    suchagoodmanwhoalsol
    ovesyourson.”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lfor
    everbegr
    atef
    ul.Howar
    ethey
    ?”
    Binalaughed.“
    Gossi
    pingaboutmebutIdon’
    t
    care.
    ”
    “
    That
    ’showt
    heyar
    e.Any
    way
    sIhav
    etogo.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    thanky
    ouf
    orcomi
    ngt
    hough.By
    eMal
    c.”
    Malcsmil
    edandwavedather
    .It
    urnedt
    owal
    k
    awaybutamanstoppedme.
    “
    Hi,
    youar
    eEazi
    right
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “IwasMoemedi’
    slawyer,y
    ouneedt
    obe
    presentf
    orhi
    swil
    lreadi
    ng.”
    Bi
    naf
    rozest
    ari
    ngatt
    hel
    awy
    er.
    “
    Wil
    lwhat
    ?”
    “
    Wil
    lreadi
    ng.
    ”
    Isi
    ghed.“
    Wher
    eist
    hathappeni
    ng?
    ”
    “
    May
    bebackhome?
    ”
    Inodded.“
    Iwi
    l
    lbet
    her
    e,r
    ightnow,
    right
    ?”
    “
    Yesmam.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Iwal
    kedt
    othecarwi
    thMal
    col
    m andgoti
    n.
    Abesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Wear
    egoi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    No,
    appar
    ent
    lyMoemedi
    hadawi
    l
    l.
    ”
    “
    Oh?
    ”
    “
    Yeah.Thel
    awy
    ersai
    dIneedt
    obet
    her
    e.”
    “
    Sowedr
    ivebackt
    othehouse?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Abestar
    tedthecart
    hendr
    oveof
    ftoget
    herwi
    th
    ot
    hercars.
    *
    **

    Tashal ookedatt hef acebookpi ct


    ure
    Moemedi ’
    ssi sterhadpost ed.Hewasr eally
    deadandnev ercomi ngback.Shebl inkedaway
    hertears,hewasgoneandhehadl ef therli
    fe
    somi serable.Sheact uall
    ywi shedshecoul d
    seehim andj ustt ellhim wher etogetof f.She
    readthrought hecomment sthenwentt o
    Moemedi ’
    ssi ster’
    spr ofil
    eandunf ri
    endedher .
    Sheunf ri
    endedev eryonewhohadt urnedt hei r
    backsonherandupdat edanewpr ofilepicture.
    Shest i
    llcouldn’tbeliev eherneighbor’s
    daughterhadpost edt hathorri
    blepictureofher
    butshewasgoi ngt oshowherwhenshegai ned
    weight.Itwasonl yamat teroftime.
    Hermotherwal
    kedinsi
    deherr
    oom assheput
    herphonedownandupdat
    edherCVonher
    l
    aptop.
    “
    Ok,
    Iam goi
    ngout
    .”
    Tashalookedathermother’
    sdressand
    makeup,every
    thi
    ngwasf l
    awless,shewasev
    en
    rocki
    ngheelsandalongprobably28inch
    weave.
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyougoi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Out
    .Iwi
    l
    lbebackl
    ater
    .”
    “
    Waj
    ola?(
    Youar
    edat
    ing?
    )”
    “SoIcan’
    tjustl
    ookgood?Iam t
    ooyoungtobe
    l
    ookingol
    d.Iwanttobeli
    keConnieFer
    guson.
    Bye!
    ”
    Shecl
    osedt
    hedoorandwal
    kedaway
    .
    *
    **

    Tendaiwalkedi
    nsidehi
    shousefr
    om thegy
    m
    andlookedatLonasfeedi
    ngJuni
    or.
    “
    Heybabe!
    ”
    Hel
    ookedatherf
    orawhi
    l
    e.“
    Who’
    schi
    l
    dis
    t
    hat
    ?”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Who’
    schi
    l
    dist
    hat
    ?”
    Lonaslookedathi
    m andthecoldgazehewas
    gi
    v i
    nghertol
    dhersomething.Shet
    ookadeep
    breath.
    “
    Whatar
    eyouonabout
    ?”
    “
    Don’
    ttr
    ypi
    ssi
    ngmeof
    f.Who’
    schi
    l
    dist
    hat
    ?”
    “
    Juni
    ori
    syour
    s.Ar
    eyouquest
    ioni
    nghi
    sDNA?
    ”
    Tendaiwalkedawayandcamebackseconds
    l
    aterwit
    hsomef ormswhi chhegavet oher.
    Lonasslowlyreadthroughthenputthef or
    ms
    down.“Youaret heonlymanIsleptwi t
    h.Juni
    or
    i
    sy our
    s.Iwasn’tcheatingandIhavenev er
    sl
    eptwithanothermanexpectf r
    om y ou.”
    “
    Yout
    hinkIam st
    upi
    d?Don’ttr
    ypissi
    ngmeof f,
    y
    ouwil
    lwalkoutoft
    hishouseinacoff
    in.You
    havebeenmakingmesupportachil
    dyouknow
    verywel
    lthati
    snotmineandyouthi
    nkyoucan
    denyit
    .Youthi
    nkIshoul
    dbeli
    eveyouovert
    he
    tr
    uthinbl
    ackandwhite?
    ”
    Lonasgotupcry
    ing.“
    Iswear
    ,youar
    etheonl
    y
    oneIsl
    eptwit
    h.”
    “
    Who’sThamit
    hen?Andbeverycar
    eful
    when
    y
    ouanswermebecauseIam goi
    ngtosl
    apyou
    i
    fyoul
    ietome.
    ”
    Lonasl
    ookedathi
    m wi
    tht
    rembl
    i
    ngl
    i
    ps.
    “
    Iam notgoi
    ngt
    oasky
    ouagai
    n.”
    “Hewasmyboy f
    ri
    endbef
    orey
    oubutInev
    er
    sleptwi
    thhi
    m.”
    “
    Buty
    oudi
    dsomet
    hingwi
    thhi
    m.”
    “HowwasIsupposedtoknowt
    hatIcanget
    pregnantf
    rom t
    hat
    ?”
    “
    Beingwit
    hadumbwomani st
    heworst
    mist
    akeIhav
    eevermadei
    nmyenti
    reli
    fe.You
    ar
    esost
    upi
    dit
    ’snotev
    enf
    unny
    .”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.Idi
    dn’
    tknow.
    ”
    “
    Whydi
    dn’
    tyout
    ell
    met
    hatday
    ?”
    “
    Idi
    dn’
    tthinkitmat
    ter
    ed.Iwoul
    dnev
    erl
    i
    eto
    y
    oupurposely
    .”
    “
    Iwantyoutopacky
    ourbel
    ongi
    ngsandl
    eav
    e
    myhouse.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    eshoul
    dIgo?
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tknowandIdon’
    tcar
    e.Iwanty
    out
    o
    l
    eavemyhouse.
    ”
    “
    Tendai
    …”
    “Andtakeyourchil
    dwithyou.Youar el
    uckyI
    am notsui
    ngy ouforpater
    nit
    yfraud.Justl
    eave
    myhouse.Inev erwanttoseeyourfaceagain.
    ”
    Lonaslookedathi
    m ashewentupst
    air
    sthen
    tookherphone.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?I
    sthi
    sKLAt
    tor
    ney
    s?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Wespokeawhi l
    eago.Ithi
    nkImightneedyour
    help.Myboy f
    ri
    endputthehouseandthecarin
    mychi l
    d’snameandnowwebot hfoundout
    thatthechil
    disnothi
    s.”
    “
    Butt
    hepr
    oper
    tyi
    sint
    hischi
    l
    d’sname?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    comebyourof
    fi
    ces.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”

    *
    **

    Atthefuneral
    ,theentir
    ef ami
    lywalkedinsi
    de
    Moemedi ’smother’shouseandsatdown.Isat
    nearthedoorwi t
    hmysononmyl ap.Theenti
    re
    room wentsil
    entast helawyert
    ookt hewil
    lout
    andclearedhi
    st hroat.
    “Ok,thisisthelastwi l
    lofMoemedi , i
    twas
    writt
    enawhi lebackandi tr eads…Il eavemy
    housei nPal apyet omywi fe,Binatoget herwi t
    h
    ourtwocar sforIcoul dn’thav ehadt hese
    thi
    ngswi thoutherbymysi de.Ileavet hepl ot
    thatmyf atherleftf ormet omyson, Mal colm
    butashei sstil
    lyoung, hi
    smot herwi l
    llookaf ter
    i
    tt i
    l
    lhei soldenough.Ial sol eavemyot herplot
    thatIownper sonal l
    ytomydaught erwi thBi na
    andhermot herwi l
    llookaf t
    eri tt
    il
    lshei sol d
    enough.Foral l
    themoneyi nt hebank, Ileav ei
    t
    allf
    or …”Thel awy erlookedatev eryonei nthe
    room andr ead.“ Tomyoneandonl ysoul mat e,
    thewomanwhohadmybackwhenIhad
    nothing,thewomanwhost oodbymeev en
    whenshehadnor easont o, t
    hewomanwho
    tookinall myabuse, t
    hewomanwhogav emea
    heir,
    Eazi.”
    Theent
    ir
    eroom gaspedl
    ooki
    ngatEazi
    .
    “
    That
    ’sal
    l
    .”
    Moemedi’
    ssist
    ershookherheadf
    uri
    ousl
    y.“
    No!
    Whataboutus?
    ”
    “Unf
    ort
    unatel
    yther
    ewasn’
    tany
    thi
    ngel
    se.
    That
    ’sal
    l.
    ”
    “
    Whendi
    dheev
    enwr
    it
    ethi
    swi
    l
    l?I
    sitev
    en
    l
    egi
    ti
    mat
    e?”
    “
    Yesmam.
    ”
    Ist
    oodupandwalkedoutasBi
    naf
    oll
    owed
    aft
    ermeheadedt
    ohercar.
    “
    Bina!
    ”
    Shest
    oppedwal
    ki
    ngandl
    ookedatme.“
    Yeah…”
    “
    Youdeser
    vet
    hatmoney
    .Youwer
    ehi
    swi
    fe.
    ”
    “Heneverreall
    ylovedmeorany oneelsebut
    you.Iguessthat’
    swhyi twaseasyforhimto
    cheatonme.I fi
    twer eyou,hewouldhavenever
    cheatbecauseallhisli
    fehealwayshadthis
    i
    mageofpr osperingwithyouandMal col
    m on
    hissi
    deandwhent hatdidn’
    thappenhejust
    di
    dn’
    tcar
    e.Isor
    tofexpect
    edi
    t.
    ”
    “Iam goingtokeepquart
    erforMalc,t
    heot her
    quarterwil
    lgotohissi
    sterandthehalfl
    eftis
    yours.”
    Bi
    na’
    sey
    eswel
    l
    edup.“
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Iwal
    kedt
    othecarandgoti
    nwi
    thMal
    c.
    “
    Takeushome.
    ”
    Abel
    ookedatme.“
    Whatdi
    dyouget
    ?”
    “Heleftal
    lhismoneytome.Iam goi
    ngto
    divi
    deitbetweenMalcandhi
    sothersi
    stert
    hen
    therestBi
    nawi l
    lkeep.
    ”
    “
    Atl
    easthewassmar
    tenought
    oleav
    eawi
    l
    l.
    ”
    “
    Iguessso.
    ”
    “
    Ihav
    esomet
    hingf
    ory
    ou.
    ”
    Il
    ookedathi
    m cur
    iousl
    y.“
    What
    ?”
    “
    Youwi
    l
    lsee.
    ”
    Hest
    art
    edt
    hecaranddr
    oveof
    f.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #63

    Tsot
    lhel
    ookedatTi
    noastheywatchedTV,
    somethi
    ngwasoffandi
    thadbeenoffsi
    ncehe
    camebacktwodaysago.
    “
    Arey
    ouok?
    ”
    Hel
    ookedather
    .“Yeah.
    ”
    “
    Youhav
    ebeenqui
    et.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sj
    ustwor
    k.Not
    hingt
    owor
    ryabout
    .”
    Tsot
    lhesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Ok.Byt
    heway
    ,whenar
    eyou
    tel
    l
    ingmamaaboutus?Iam t
    uredofhi
    dingmy
    newphoneandl
    aptop.
    ”
    “
    AssoonasIgett
    ime.
    ”
    Hisphonevibr
    atedt
    henher
    eachedf
    ori
    tand
    answered.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi,
    mynamei
    sBr
    idget
    te.
    ”
    “
    DoIknowy
    ou?
    ”
    “No,
    Iam Tsot
    lhe’
    sfr
    iend.Ihav
    etot
    ell
    you
    somethi
    ng.
    ”
    Ti
    noputt
    hephoneonl
    oudspeaker
    .“Yeah?
    ”
    “Tsotl
    hei susi
    ngyou.Sheonlywantsmoney
    from you.Shedoesn’
    tloveyou,Iam t
    ell
    ingyou
    thisbecauseIhavereal
    izedyouareagoodman
    butshei staki
    ngyouforaride.Don’
    ttr
    usther.
    ”
    Tsot
    lhegasped.“
    Bri
    dget
    te?
    ”
    Br
    idget
    tewentsi
    l
    entt
    henshequi
    ckl
    yhungup.
    Ti
    nobl
    ockedt
    henumberandsi
    ghed.
    “
    Seet
    heki
    ndoff
    ri
    endsy
    oukeep?
    ”
    “
    She….
    ”
    “
    Wher
    edi
    dsheev
    engetmynumber
    ?”
    “
    I…sheonl
    yhel
    dmyphoneonce.
    ”
    “Stopgoingaroundtell
    ingpeoplewhathappens
    i
    ny ourpersonall
    if
    e.Youdon’ tknowwhoy our
    fri
    endisandwhoi snot.Af r
    iendwill
    beyour
    downfallandIdon’tl
    ikeawomanwi thf
    ri
    ends,
    j
    ustbey ourownper son.”
    Tsot
    lhenodded.“
    Iunder
    stand.
    ”
    “
    Good.
    ”
    Hestoodupandwalkedawaywhi
    l
    eTsot
    lhe
    r
    eachedforherr
    ingi
    ngphone.
    “
    Bri
    dget
    te?
    ”
    Br
    idget
    tel
    aughed.“
    Ithoughtofpr
    anki
    ngy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    edi
    dyougetmyman’
    snumber
    ?”
    “Theothertime.Ihopeyoudi
    dn’
    ttakei
    t
    personal
    ly.Iwasjustmaki
    ngajoke.
    ”
    “
    Idon’twanttofi
    ghtwit
    hyou, st
    ayinyourlane.
    Mymani snoty
    ourty
    peandcannev erbeyour
    t
    y pe.Nextt
    imeyoucall
    him Iam goi
    ngt oslap
    you.”
    Tsot
    lhehungupanddelet
    edhernumbert
    hen
    si
    ghedsti
    llshocked.

    *
    **

    Lonaswalkedtot
    hebedroom whereTendai
    waschangingobv
    iousl
    ygett
    ingreadyt
    ogoand
    seeMapula.
    “
    Youar
    est
    il
    lher
    e?”
    “Iam notgoi
    nganywher
    e.Don’
    tfor
    gett
    hatt
    his
    houseisinJuni
    or’
    sname.”
    “
    Ihav
    eenoughmoneyt
    otakey
    out
    ocour
    t,sue
    y
    ouforpater
    nit
    yfr
    aud.Youwantt
    oseehow
    t
    hatwi
    llend.
    ”
    Lonasl
    ookedathi
    m.“
    Youcan’
    tjustki
    ckme
    out.
    ”
    “Ican,
    eitherway ,
    ever
    ythingisi
    nmyname.I
    l
    onggott hem backandy ousignedthepapers
    butbecausey ouarestupidyoudidn’
    tsee.Iam
    goingbutwhenIgetbackIshoul dn’tf
    indyou
    here.I
    fany t
    hinggoesmi ssi
    ngIam goingtokil
    l
    you.Trustme. ”
    Hebrushedhishai
    randwal kedoutsmell
    ing
    good.Lonassl
    owlysatont hebedhol
    dingher
    sonastearsfi
    ll
    edhereyes.Shetookherphone
    thencal
    ledThami.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Soyouwentandt
    oldhi
    m?Di
    dn’
    tyouwantt
    his
    chi
    ldtol
    iv
    eagoodlif
    e?”
    “
    Icangi
    vemysont
    hel
    i
    fehedeser
    ves.
    ”
    “
    Tendai
    kickedmeout
    !”
    “Iam comi ngtopickyouup.Tendai wasnev er
    yourstobegi nwit
    h.Thatwasy oursist
    er’sman
    andy ouwer esupposedtor espectthat.Linais
    nowsomeonesosuccessf ul.Sheisacompany
    ownerandshei sdoingherownt hi
    ngwhi leyou
    stil
    lhavejustaform 5cert
    ificat
    ewi t
    hD’ sand
    F’s.Ineverknewmoneycoul dchangepeopl e
    ti
    llImety ou.
    ”
    “
    Ijustwant
    edt
    oli
    veagoodl
    i
    fe.
    ”
    “
    Todayt
    hegoodl
    if
    ehast hr
    owny ou.Gi
    veme
    t
    headdr
    essandl
    ocat
    ion.Iam comingt
    opick
    y
    ouup.”

    *
    **

    Mapul
    await
    edforTendai
    inf
    rontoft
    hepr
    ivat
    e
    cl
    i
    nicpr
    essi
    ngherphone.
    “
    Hi…”
    Shelookedupandsmil
    edatt
    hedoctor
    obvi
    ouslywhowasinhi
    swhit
    ecourt
    .“Hel
    l
    o.”
    “
    Wai
    ti
    ngf
    orsomeone?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Hesmiledcut
    elyst
    ari
    ngather
    .“Youar
    e
    beaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    “
    Inar
    elat
    ionshi
    p?”
    Mapul
    ashookherhead.“
    No,
    notexact
    ly.
    ”
    “
    Iam Barr
    y.Mi
    ndifwegof
    ordi
    nnersomet
    ime?
    May
    bet oni
    ght
    ?”
    Mapulal
    ookedatthecl
    eansmar
    tmanand
    smi
    led.“
    Tonighti
    sgood.
    ”
    “Gr
    eat!”Hetookouthi
    sphoneandhandedi tt
    o
    herthenshesavedhernumber.Bar
    rylookedat
    hernameandsmi l
    edpagingher.Mapula’
    s
    phoner
    angf
    rom herhandbagt
    henhechuckl
    ed.
    “
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lyou.
    ”
    Hewal kedi
    nsidethecli
    nicthenshetookout
    herphonestil
    lsmili
    ngandsav edhisnumber.
    Minuteslat
    erTendaiparkedhiscarandwalked
    over
    .
    “
    Didy
    ouwai
    tfort
    ool
    ong?
    ”
    “
    No.
    ”
    Theywalkedinsi
    detothedoct
    orhewas
    supposedtosee.Bar
    rysmil
    edasMapul
    a
    walkedinwit
    hTendai.
    “
    Mr.Taf
    ir
    a…”
    “
    Yes,
    canshebepr
    esentf
    ort
    his?
    ”
    Bar
    ryl
    ookedatMapul
    awi
    tht
    hatcut
    esmi
    l
    eof
    hi
    smakingherbl
    ush.
    “Ofcause.Wecanst
    art
    .Soy
    ourr
    esul
    tsar
    e
    back.
    ”
    “
    And?
    ”
    “Youhavewhatiscal
    l
    ednonobst
    ruct
    ive
    Azoosper
    miameaningther
    eisnomeasurabl
    e
    sperminyoursemen.
    ”
    “
    Cani
    tbet
    reat
    ed?
    ”
    “Yes,Iam goi
    ngt
    otr
    yexpl
    aini
    ngwhatmay
    help.
    ”
    MapulawatchedasBarryexpl
    ainedt
    he
    tr
    eatmentprocedur
    e,awhil
    elat
    erTendai
    shook
    handswit
    hhi mthenusher
    edherout.
    “
    Hei
    sgoodatwhathedoes.
    ”
    Mapul
    asmi
    l
    ed.“
    Yes.
    ”
    Herphonev
    ibr
    atedthenshet
    ooki
    toutand
    r
    eadthemessage.
    Barr
    y:Don’tgowi
    thhim,Iam knocki
    ngof
    fina
    fewminutes.Wearegoi
    ngforlunch.
    “
    Tendai
    ,Ican’
    tcomewi
    thy ou.Imadepl
    ans
    wi
    thafr
    iendandshei
    spickingmeuphere.
    ”
    Hel
    ookedather
    .“Whi
    chf
    ri
    end?
    ”
    “
    Youdon’
    tknowher
    .”
    “
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    lwai
    twi
    thy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Youdon’
    thav
    etodot
    hat
    .Iam f
    ine.
    ”
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?Ar
    eyoucheat
    ing?
    ”
    Mapul
    achuckled.“
    YouandIar
    enottoget
    her
    .
    AndIam j
    ustwaiti
    ngf
    ormyfri
    end,
    wear e
    goi
    ngfordr
    inks.
    ”
    “
    Ithoughtwewer
    ewor
    kingt
    hingsout
    .”
    Shesighed.“Idon’
    tknowwhatyouwantmet o
    say.Iam j
    ustgoingoutwithmyfr
    iend.You
    don’thav
    et obeinsecur
    e.”
    Tendai
    lookedatherandsmi
    l
    ed.“
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “Ei
    therway,Iam notdoi
    ngany thi
    ngwi t
    hy outi
    l
    l
    Iam sureyouareseri
    ous.Iam t i
    redofgetti
    ng
    used.Iwanttogetmar r
    ied.Idon’twanttobe
    wit
    hsomeonewhoi snotser i
    ous.”
    “
    HowwasIsupposedtoknowyouwanttoget
    mar
    ri
    edwhenyouneversai
    danyt
    hing?
    ”
    “
    Iam say
    ingi
    tnow.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Ihear
    dyou.
    ”Heki
    ssedher
    .“Il
    ovey
    ou.
    ”
    Hegoti
    nhiscaranddrov
    eof
    f,assoonashe
    wasoutBar
    rywalkedout
    .
    “
    He’
    sgone?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Whoi
    sheagai
    n?”
    “
    Weusedt
    odat
    e.”
    “
    Soy
    ouar
    eof
    fi
    cial
    l
    ybackwi
    thhi
    m?”
    “No.Iam j
    ustl
    ooki
    ngforsomethi
    ngserious.I
    am ti
    redofpl
    ayi
    nggamesandIdon’ twantto
    bewithsomeonewhoisunsureofthemselves.
    ”
    Barr
    ysmiled.“
    Come,
    let
    ’sgof
    orl
    unch.Di
    nneri
    s
    toofar
    .”
    Mapul
    asmi
    l
    edast
    heywal
    kedt
    oget
    hert
    ohi
    sG-
    Wagon.

    *
    **

    Laterthatday ,
    Tsotlhef i
    xedherhai rand
    grabbedherhandbagget ti
    ngr eadytoleaveas
    Tinostartedthecarout side.Shepi ckedhis
    phonef rom t
    hedr essingt abl
    eandwal kedout
    withitbutthenitvibratedi nherhandsshowi ng
    amessagef rom Eazi.
    Eazi
    :Whathappenednev
    erhappened-
    Shelookedatthemessagedy i
    ngtoknowwhat
    hi
    ssisteri
    nlawwast al
    kingaboutt
    henshe
    swipedhisscreenunl
    ockinghi
    sphoneandread
    Eazi’
    snessage.
    Eazi
    :Whathappenedneverhappened,
    itwasa
    mist
    ake.Idon’
    twanttolosemyhusband,I
    hopethi
    ngsdon’tgetawkwar
    d.
    Tsot
    lhe’
    shear
    tstar
    tedpoundi
    ngasshe
    scr
    oll
    edthr
    oughthei
    rmessages.Shesl
    owl
    ysat
    downasherkneesgotweak.
    “
    Tsot
    lhe!
    ”
    Shet
    ookherphoneandcopi
    edEazi
    andAbe’
    s
    number
    sthenwalkedout
    .
    “
    Youf
    orgoty
    ourphone.
    ”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    Shegotinthenhedr ov
    eoff.Tsotl
    hel
    ookedat
    him wonder
    ingjusthowhef el
    ttohav
    eslept
    withhi
    ssisteri
    nlawandf r
    om hismessagesi
    t
    seemedasi fheactual
    lyl
    ovedher.
    “
    Arey
    ouok?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Awhil
    elat
    erheparkedhi
    scarahousef
    rom
    her
    sthenki
    ssedher.“
    Iwi
    llcal
    lyou.
    ”
    Tsotl
    henoddedthenst
    eppedoutwalki
    ng
    towardshergat
    e.Shel
    ookedatEazi
    ’
    snumber
    t
    hencal
    l
    edher
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi,
    it’
    sTsot
    lhe,
    Tino’
    sgi
    rl
    fr
    iend.
    ”
    “
    HiTsot
    lhe.
    ”
    “
    Iknowwhaty
    oudi
    d.”
    “
    Huh?
    ”
    “
    Iknowyousl
    eptwi
    thy
    ourhusband’
    sbr
    other
    .
    Whatki
    ndofawomanarey
    ou?”
    “
    Excuseme?
    ”
    “
    Youhear
    dme!St
    ayawayf
    rom myman!
    ”
    Eazihungupbef or
    eshecoul dsaymor ethen
    shefuri
    ouslyty
    pedal ongmessageandsenti t
    toherexpecti
    ngar esponsebutitnevercame.
    Nowshecoul dunder standwhyTinohadbeen
    soquieteversi
    ncehegotback.Herphoner ang
    thenshepickedhiscal l
    .
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Youwentt
    hroughmyphone?
    ”
    “
    Youar
    esl
    eepi
    ngwi
    thy
    oursi
    steri
    n-l
    aw?
    ”
    “
    Whywer
    eyousnoopi
    ngonmyphone?
    ”
    “Answermef i
    r st
    .Youar echeati
    ngonmewi t
    h
    yoursist
    eri n-
    law!Yourownbr other
    ’swife.How
    doy ousleepatni ghtknowingthatyouare
    betr
    ayingy ourbrother,stabbi
    nghim behindhi
    s
    back.”
    “I
    twasamist
    akeandit
    sneverhappeni
    ngagai
    n.
    Canwetal
    k?Iam comi
    ngback.
    ”
    “Idon’ twantt ot al
    kt oy ou.Youhav ehur tme,
    her eIwast hinkingy ouar edi
    f f
    erentbutIguess
    not .Youhav edisappoi ntedme.May bei fi
    twas
    ar andom gi rloutt hereIwoul dunderstandbut
    i
    thadt obey ourbr other’swife.Youtook
    adv antageofherpai n,nosanewomancan
    sleepwi thbrothers.Shewashur tandy ouused
    thatt oy ouradv antagebecausey oupr obably
    hav eal wayswant edher .”
    “
    Youar
    ebei
    ngabsur
    dri
    ghtnow.
    ”
    “Idon’
    tthinkIcandothisanymore.I
    fit’
    syour
    thi
    ngsy ouwantthentakethem.Idon’twantto
    getmar ri
    edtoanexactrepli
    caofmyf at
    her,i
    f
    i
    t’syoursist
    erin-
    lawt
    haty ouwantfi
    ne,gofor
    i
    t.”
    “
    Babecomeon,
    ithappenedonce.
    ”
    “
    Youl
    oveher
    !Yousai
    dyoul
    oveher
    .”
    Ti
    nosi
    ghed.“
    Canwet
    alkaboutt
    his?
    ”
    “Iam nott
    alki
    ngany
    thi
    ngwi
    thy
    ou.Wear
    edone.
    Don’tcal
    lme.”
    Shehungupandwal kedinsidet hehouse
    knowinghermot herhadgonet ochurchwit
    h
    hersibl
    ings.Shethr
    ewher selfont hebedcry
    ing,
    thepainshewasf eel
    ingwast oomuchshehad
    neverfeltsohurt
    .Herphoner angagai n.
    “
    Babe,
    li
    stent
    ome.
    ”
    “
    Iam notl
    i
    steni
    ngt
    oyou.Howcoul
    dyou?
    ”
    “
    Imadeami
    stake,
    not
    hinghaschanged.Ist
    il
    l
    l
    ovey
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Youdon’
    tlov
    eme,
    youl
    oveEazi
    !”
    “
    Canwepl
    easet
    alk.Iam comi
    ngback.
    ”
    “Don’
    tcometomyhouse. ”Shehungupthen
    thr
    ewherphoneont hebedwithtear
    srunning
    downhercheeks.Angri
    l
    yshereachedforher
    phonethenwentforAbe’
    snumberandcal l
    ed
    him.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi,
    thi
    sisTsot
    lhe.
    ”
    “
    Tsot
    lhe?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Ti
    no'
    sgi
    rl
    fr
    iend.
    "
    "
    Ok.
    "
    "
    Ther
    eissomet
    hingIhav
    etot
    ell
    you.
    ”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #64

    "
    Yes?
    "
    "TodayItouchedTino'sphoneandcameacr oss
    somethingverydisturbing.Isawamessage
    from yourwif
    esay i
    ngwhathappenedshoul dn't
    havehappenedagai nt henIr eadthroughtheir
    messagesandr eali
    zedTi nosleptwithher
    whenhewentt oFrance.I tseemedl ikei
    tonly
    happenedoncebuti ti
    tdidhappenandt here
    wasnocondom.Shet ookt hepillthefol
    lowing
    day."
    "
    What
    ?"
    "
    Unfor
    tunat
    elyIhavenoevidencebutIhav
    eno
    r
    easontoli
    e.Yourbrot
    hersleptwi
    thyourwif
    e.
    Youhavenor easont
    obeli
    evemebutt
    hat
    'st
    he
    tr
    uth.Ij
    ustt
    houghtyoudeser
    vedt
    oknow.
    "
    "
    Ok,
    thanks.
    "
    Hehungup, Tsotlhe'
    sheartpoundedasshe
    l
    ookedatt hephonewonder i
    ngifshehadmade
    therightfuldecisi
    on.Nowt hatshereall
    y
    thoughtabouti t,shemi ghthavejustrui
    neda
    brotherhoodandamar ri
    age.Tearsfil
    ledher
    eyes,shepacedar oundwishingshewasj ust
    dreami ng.Aknockmadeherf r
    eeze.
    "
    Babeopenup!
    "
    Shel
    ookedatt
    hedoorhesi
    tant
    ly.
    "
    Babe,
    Iknowy
    ouar
    ein.Pl
    easeopenup.
    "
    Shesl
    owlywal
    kedt
    othedoorandopenedt
    hen
    l
    ookedathi
    m.
    "
    IknowImessedupandnowor dscanerase
    whatIdi
    d.ButIknowandacknowledgemy
    wrongenoughtopromi
    senottodoitagain.
    Eaziwasatherl owest,
    Ishouldn'
    thave.Sheisa
    vi
    ctiminallthi
    sandIknowwhensaneshe
    wouldhav eneverdoneitbutIguessour
    emot i
    onswer ej
    usttoohighthatnight.Idon'
    t
    l
    ov eher,
    shei smybr ot
    her'
    swife.Iam with
    you."Hetookoutasmal lboxfrom hispocket."I
    broughtthi
    swi t
    hbecauseIwantt omar ryyou."
    Tsotl
    helookedatt hegl
    it
    teri
    ngr
    ingwit
    htears
    blur
    ri
    ngherv i
    sion.Wit
    hthebackofherhand,
    shewipedhertearssniff
    ing.
    "Iam sorr
    y .Iknowt hisisnotagreatwayt o
    star
    tourr elati
    onship.Iam notacheat er,Ihave
    cheatedacoupl eoftimesandIknowhowi t
    feel
    s,Ipromi seitwon'thappenagai n.I
    genuinel
    yl ovey oubuttheonlyreasonIhav e
    beenhesitanti sbecauseIfeelyouar etoo
    youngandy oumayst il
    lwanttoenjoyy our
    youth.Iont heot herhandIwantaf ami l
    y."
    "
    Ilov
    eyouandIwantt
    hatt
    oo.
    "
    "
    Iwi
    llpr
    oposeproper
    lyoncewehav
    eyour
    mot
    her'
    sblessi
    ngs.
    "
    Tsotl
    henoddedastearsr
    andownhercheeks.
    Tinoki
    ssedherwit
    hhishandsonherwai st
    .His
    phonevibr
    atedf
    rom hi
    spocketthenhestepped
    backasshecaughtherbr
    eath.Helookedathis
    phoneforawhil
    e.
    "
    Ihav
    etomeetTendai
    .Iwi
    l
    lcal
    l
    .Il
    ovey
    ou.
    "
    "
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    "
    Heki
    ssedheragainthenwal
    kedaway.Tsot
    lhe
    wal
    kedbackinsi
    dethehouseandcov
    eredher
    f
    acecry
    ing.Whathadshedone?

    *
    **

    Abedrovesi
    lentl
    y,hi
    ssil
    encemadet heent
    ir
    e
    uncomfor
    tableasMalcolm pl
    ayedgameson
    myphoneatt heback.Il
    ookedathim,hehad
    beenof
    fsincetheprevi
    ousfi
    l
    li
    ngstati
    onwher
    e
    hehadsteppedoutalonet
    hatIsecr
    etl
    y
    wonder
    edifanythi
    nghadhappened.
    "
    Babe,
    arey
    ouok?
    "
    Helookedatmestr
    angel
    ythatashi
    verr
    an
    downmyspi ne.
    "
    Yeah.
    "
    Ilookedaheadandkeptqui
    et.Hi
    sphoner
    ang
    thenhepickedwit
    hhiseyesonther
    oad.
    "Yeah?Ok,wewi l
    ltal
    k."Hehungupand
    conti
    nueddri
    ving.Thesilencegottoomuch
    thati
    tfel
    tasifther
    ewasaheav ycloudint
    he
    air
    .Isecr
    etl
    ylookedhimt henl
    ookedawayas
    heroll
    eddownt hewindowsspeedi ng.My
    phonerangthenMal chandeditover.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hey
    ,howdi
    ditgo?
    ”
    “
    Itwasf
    ine.Hewr
    oteawi
    l
    l.
    ”
    Ont
    lal
    aughed.“
    Real
    l
    y?”
    “
    Iam sur
    pri
    sedt
    oo.
    ”
    “
    And?
    ”
    “
    Hegavehi
    sfat
    her
    ’spl
    ott
    oMal
    candsome
    money
    .”
    “
    Atl
    easthel
    eftsomet
    hingf
    orMal
    c.”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    “
    Akany
    angi
    spl
    anni
    ngt
    otakemet
    oKasane.
    ”
    “
    Wow!
    ”
    “
    Iam soexci
    ted,
    andtot
    hinkIwant
    edt
    osl
    eep
    wi
    thTan.Thankyouf
    orhelpi
    ngme.
    ”
    Ichuckl
    ed.“
    Any
    time.
    ”
    “
    Shar
    p.”
    Shehungupt henIopenedthemessagefrom
    Tinosavedunderafemalename.Idel
    etedit
    thenhandedthephonebacktoMalcol
    m and
    sighed.
    *
    **

    Att
    hefancyrest
    aurant
    ,Barryor
    der
    edhismeal
    whi
    leMapulapagedthroughthemenu.The
    wai
    terl
    ookedatherthensheorder
    ed.
    "
    Sowho'
    sMapul
    a?"
    Mapulasmiled."Mapulai
    sa26y earol
    dwoman
    all
    thewayf r
    om GoodHope, nochil
    d,rai
    sedby
    asingl
    emot herandIhaveonebigsist
    er.She
    i
    sabeaut ytherapi
    standdoescrui
    seshipssoI
    rar
    elyseeher.Maybeonceay earornoteven
    once.Iam agraphicdesi
    gnerandwebmast er
    ."
    "I
    nterest
    ing.
    "Hesmil
    ed."
    Wareobat
    lago
    nyalwa?(Yousayyouwantt
    ogermarr
    ied?
    )"
    "
    Yes.Iam ti
    redofj
    umpingfr
    om one
    r
    elat
    ionshi
    ptotheother
    ."
    "
    Igety
    ou.Ihav
    ebeensi
    ngl
    eforal
    mostay
    ear
    nowbecausei
    t’
    sact
    ual
    l
    yti
    ri
    ng.
    "
    "
    Iti
    s.Iwantt
    oset
    tl
    e."
    "
    Sowhatki
    ndofamandoy ouwant
    ?Whatar
    e
    y
    oul
    ookingfori
    nar
    elat
    ionship?
    "
    "Forl
    ove,commitmentandrespect
    .Ijustwant
    toenjoyl
    ovebecauseIam wil
    li
    ngtogi v
    ewhatI
    get.
    .Whataboutyou?Gongwey oujustwantto
    fuckandleave,
    weneverknowkana."
    Barrylaughed." No.Ithinkyouar et
    hekindof
    womanIhav ebeenwai ti
    ngfor .Iwant
    somet hingserioust oo.I'
    mt i
    redofgames.Iam
    growingt ooold, Ican'tevenattendfamily
    gatheringsany mor e.Atweddi ngsIam the
    woodboy .Thepeopl eyoungert hanmear enow
    atahigherl evelthanmej ustbecauseoft hat
    weddingband. "
    Mapul
    alaughed."
    Ifeel
    you.
    "
    "Idon'
    tevenatt
    endchur
    chlikeIusedt
    o.Ifeel
    outofplacebecausemostofmyagemat esare
    marri
    ed.Ihaveachildbutsheiscurr
    ent
    lywit
    h
    hermotherri
    ghtnow.Justsoy ouknow,my
    babymamai smar r
    iedandt her
    eisnodrama.
    Sheispeaceful
    soy oudon'thavetowor
    ry
    aboutbabymamadr ama."
    "
    Howol
    disy
    ourchi
    l
    d?"
    "
    4year
    sol
    d."
    "
    Ok.
    "
    Thewait
    erbr oughtt
    heirf
    oodasMapul
    a'
    s
    phonevi
    brated.Shereachedf
    ori
    tandr
    eadt
    he
    messagefrom Tendai.
    Wr
    ongT:
    Shoul
    dIbr
    ingdi
    nnert
    oni
    ght
    ?
    Shelookedatthemessaget
    henputherphone
    backinherhandbagandsmi
    ledatBar
    ry.

    *
    **
    Lonaslookedar
    oundThami'
    ssmallr
    oom.
    Therewasasmal l
    bedthenhi
    sthi
    ngswher
    eat
    theothercor
    ner
    .
    "
    It
    'snotf
    ancybutIcanmanage.
    "
    Heputhi ssleepingsonont hebedandsmi l
    ed
    stari
    ngathim proudly.Lonasputherbagdown
    thensatbesidehi m onthebed.Shecoul donl y
    i
    magi newhatshewasgoi ngt oeatinthet i
    ny
    houseorwher etheywereallgoi
    ngt ofitont he
    singlebed.Obv i
    ouslythr
    eepeoplecouldn’ t
    sleepthereandhersonwasdef ini
    tel
    ysl eeping
    ont hefl
    oor.
    Hereyeswentf orthetwopot
    satthecornerof
    thehouseandsi ghedwonder
    ingwhyshehad
    j
    ustleft
    .Sheshoul dhavef
    aughtf
    orthathouse
    becausethathousewasgoodasher s.
    Thamist
    oodupandwentov ertohi
    spar af
    fin
    st
    oveandstar
    tedcooki
    ngwhileLonaswat ched.
    Awhil
    elat
    erhedishedf
    orher.Shelookedat
    thepl
    atethensil
    ent
    lyatehungr
    il
    y.Thami
    ’
    s
    phonerangm heputhisphonedownand
    answeredwit
    hhiscleanhand.
    “Yes?uhhthanky
    ou.YesSi
    r,Iwi
    l
    lbether
    e.
    Thanky ousomuch.
    ”Hehungupwithahuge
    smile.
    “
    Whathappened?
    ”
    Thami l
    ookedathert
    henshookhishead.
    “Nothi
    ngseri
    ous.Sowhat
    ’syourpl
    an.Areyou
    stay
    ingwithmeandourchil
    dornot?”
    “
    Ihav
    enowher
    etogo.
    ”
    “Idon’
    tmi ndgi
    vi
    ngy ouapl acetostayti
    l
    lyou
    makeapl anforyoursel
    f.Ineedtoknowsot hat
    Icanmov eonwi t
    hmyl ifepeaceful
    l
    ywi t
    hout
    youcomi ngtocauseunnecessarydr amaint
    he
    futur
    e.”
    Lonaslookedathi
    m andswal
    lowedhard.“
    Why
    areyouaskingmethatwhenIam al
    readywit
    h
    you?”
    “Youarenotforcedtobewi t
    hme.Youcan
    alwaysgivememysonandmov eonwi t
    hyour
    l
    ife.Idon’
    tmind.May bebytomorrowyouwould
    havemadeachoi cebutyouarenotfor
    cedto
    bewi t
    hme. ”

    *
    **

    Linawentt hr
    oughhercasef ortomorrowtrying
    togetmor eloopholeswhilesippi
    ngonhert ea
    withherspectacl
    es.Shenot edsomet hi
    ngwi th
    apenci l
    thenherphoner ang.Sheignoreditfor
    awhi leworki
    ngont hecase,whenshewas
    fi
    nallydone,sheclosedherlaptopandpacked
    herfil
    esthenpickedherphone.Shescr oll
    ed
    throughthenpausedatt heunsavednumber
    andcal l
    edthenumberback.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi,
    thi
    sLi
    na,
    youcal
    l
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    Iknowy
    ouhav
    ebeent
    alki
    ngt
    oTan.
    ”
    “
    Who’
    sthi
    s?”
    “
    Sthando,
    Iam hi
    sgi
    rl
    fr
    iend.
    ”
    “
    Andwher
    edoy
    ougett
    heener
    gyt
    ocal
    lme?
    ”
    “
    Look,
    stay
    -“
    “Hun,
    Iam noty
    ourf
    riendandt
    hisphonei
    sfor
    busi
    ness,
    donotcal
    lme.”
    Shehungupandcal
    l
    edTan.
    “
    Heybabe…”
    “Pl
    easetelly
    ourgir
    lf
    ri
    endstostayawayfr
    om
    me.Iam notthei
    rfri
    end.Iam busyper
    sonandI
    don’twantpeopl
    eplayi
    ngonmyphone.Pl ease
    tel
    lthem t
    ostop.Thankyou.
    ”
    Shehungupandshookherheadst
    il
    lsur
    pri
    sed.

    *
    **
    Aft
    erhour
    sofdri
    ving,Abesloweddowninfr
    ont
    ofhi
    smother’
    shouset hendrov
    einthr
    oughthe
    gat
    eandparkedbesidehismother
    ’scar
    .
    “
    Iam dr
    oppi
    ngof
    fMalc,Ij
    ustwantt
    ospend
    t
    imewit
    hyoual
    onet
    onight.
    ”
    Il
    ookedathi
    m andsmi
    l
    ed.“
    Ok,
    shoul
    dIcome
    i
    n?”
    “
    No.Iwi
    l
    lbeback.
    ”
    Abesteppedoutandtooksleepi
    ngMalcolm
    fr
    om thebacksit
    .Hewalkedt ot
    hedoorashis
    motheropenedthedoor,t
    heyareboth
    di
    sappearedinsi
    dethehouse.Minut
    eslat
    erhe
    walkedoutandgotbackinsi
    dethecarand
    droveoff
    .Il
    ookedathim ashetookadiff
    erent
    di
    recti
    on.
    “
    Wher
    ear
    ewegoi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Youwi
    l
    lsee.
    ”
    Iputonmyseat
    bel
    tasheaccel
    erat
    ed.He
    drovef
    oroveranhourt
    henf i
    nal
    lysl
    oweddown
    i
    nt hemiddl
    eofnowhere.Hesteppedoutand
    andwalkedovert
    omydoor .Heopenedand
    l
    ookedather.
    “
    Stepout
    .”
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “
    Stepout
    .”
    Isteppedoutandlookedatthebushesaround
    us.Myheartstar
    tedpoundingashelookedat
    mecol dl
    y.
    “
    Eazi
    ?”
    “
    Rra?
    ”
    “Iam goi
    ngtoaskyouonequest i
    onandy ouar
    e
    goingtogiv
    emeast r
    aigtanswer.Ify
    oumakea
    mistakeoflyi
    ngt
    ome, Iam goingtokil
    lyou
    andburryyouher
    e.Am Iclear
    ?”
    “
    Abe-
    “
    “
    Youdon’
    ttal
    kti
    l
    lIgi
    vey
    out
    heper
    imi
    ssi
    ont
    o.”
    Tear
    sfi
    l
    ledmyey
    es.
    “Don’
    tdothat
    ,don’
    ttrycr
    yingbecauseIwi
    l
    l
    wipethoset
    earswit
    haslap.Osekawabat l
    a
    gonit
    rasematl
    a.”
    Ibl
    i
    nkedmytear
    sawayasmyheartsl
    ammed
    har
    dagai
    nstmychestov
    erandov
    er.
    “
    Didy
    ouordi
    dyounotsl
    eepwi
    thTi
    no.Ineeda
    y
    esornof
    rom y
    ou.
    ”
    Ishookmyhead.“
    Whatar
    eyout
    alki
    ngabout
    ?”
    Hechuckl
    edst
    ari
    ngatme.“
    Eazi
    ?”
    “
    Abe,Idon’
    tknowwhaty
    ouar
    etal
    ki
    ngabout
    .
    WhywouldIslee-
    “
    Her ai
    sedhishandandslappedmesohardI
    sawt hest
    arswhil
    eIstaggeredbackf
    eel
    i
    ng
    dizzy.
    “Iam goi
    ngt
    oaskyouagain,
    didyouordi
    dy ou
    notsl
    eepwit
    hmybrother
    ?Becarefulofy
    our
    answerorel
    sei
    ntwodayswewi l
    lbeposti
    ng
    y
    ouonf
    acebookaf
    terr
    epor
    ti
    ngy
    oumi
    ssi
    ng.
    ”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #65

    Tear
    srandownmycheeksthenIquickl
    ywi
    ped
    i
    tawaystari
    ngathi
    m.Icoul
    djustl
    ieandwatch
    hi
    m kil
    lmebecausei
    twasquit
    eobvious
    Tsot
    lhehadtol
    dhim.
    “
    Babe,
    Iam notgoi
    ngt
    oasky
    ouagai
    n.”
    “
    Abe-
    “
    “
    Didy
    ousl
    eepwi
    thhi
    m?”
    “
    No.
    ”
    Myearr angasIrecei
    vedanothersoundingsl
    ap.
    Itouchedmybur ni
    ngcheekthenhewal ked
    backinsidet
    hecarasmynosebl ed.Hewalked
    backthenlookedatme.
    “
    Iam goi
    ngt
    oki
    l
    lyout
    oday
    .”
    Ist
    eppedbackcr
    ying.“
    Abe…”
    Her
    eachedf
    ormyneckandst
    angl
    edme.
    “
    Itwasamist
    ake!Iwasn’
    tthi
    nki
    ng…i
    twasa
    mist
    ake!
    ”
    Hel etgoandst eppedbackshakinghishead
    staringatme, Icouldseethepainsl
    ashhim asI
    stoodt here.“
    Itwasami stakeandit
    ’snever
    happeni ngagain.Idon’
    tknowwhatIwas
    thinking.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    e?”
    “
    Abe…”
    “
    Wher
    e?“
    “
    InFr
    ance.
    ”
    “Yousleptwit
    hmybr ot
    herwhil
    eIwasfi
    ghti
    ng
    formyl i
    feoryouwereal
    readysl
    eepi
    ngwit
    h
    himthat’swhyyoucoul
    dcompar eTi
    not
    ome. ”
    “No,t
    hat’
    snotit.Idi
    dn’
    tmeanwhatIsai
    dthat
    day.I
    tonlyhappenedonceandi
    t’
    snever
    happei
    ningagain.
    Hisphoner ang, Ilookedathimt henturned
    runningbackt ot hemainr oad.Abegr abbedme
    from behindturningmeandsl appedme.I
    mi ssedmyst epandf el
    lthenhedr aggedme
    backt othecarwi t
    hmyhai r
    .
    “
    Wher
    edoy
    out
    hinky
    ouar
    erunni
    ngt
    o?”
    “
    Abepleasel
    etmego.Ihav
    eason, heneeds
    me.Hehasnoonebutme.Pleasel
    etmego.”
    "
    Youar
    emaki
    ngnoi
    se.
    "
    “
    Hel
    p!”Iscr
    eamed.
    Hestoppedandpul
    l
    edmeup."
    Youar
    emaki
    ng
    noi
    se."
    Iputmyhandstoget
    her."Iam sor
    ry.Wecanfi
    x
    thi
    s.Wecaninv
    olvethefamili
    es.Il
    oveyouAbe,
    GodknowsIdo."
    “Outofever
    yoney
    oucoul
    dhav
    esl
    eptwi
    th,
    you
    sleptwi
    thmybrot
    her
    !”
    Il
    ookedathi
    m cry
    ing.“
    Iam sor
    ry,pl
    easeletme
    go…Ihaveachi
    ld….Heonl
    yhasme, Imadea
    mist
    ake,
    letmego.Malcol
    m onlyhasme.”
    “
    Yousl
    eptwi
    thmybr
    other
    !”
    “
    AbeIhav
    eachi
    l
    d…Godhel
    pme…”
    “
    WhatwasInotgi
    vi
    ngy
    ou?Whatam Idoi
    ng
    wrong?
    ”
    “
    Not
    hing.Imadeami
    stake.
    ”
    “Yousl
    eptwi
    thmybrot
    her
    !Outofanyoney
    ou
    coul
    dhavecheatonmewi
    th,
    ithadtobemy
    brot
    her
    .”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.Pl
    easeletmego.Mysonneedsme.
    Heneedsme,please…Iam t
    heonl
    yonehe
    has.
    ”
    Abeshookhi
    sheadt
    ear
    ful
    l
    y.“
    Wast
    hisy
    our
    rev
    enge.
    ”
    “No!Noitwasnot
    ,itwasami
    stake.Abe
    please…”
    Hetookoutt
    hekni
    feandpoi
    ntedatme.Ibr
    oke
    downcryi
    ngl
    oudl
    y.
    "
    Shutup!Ifyoukeepcryi
    ngIam goi
    ngt
    omake
    t
    hiswholethingalotmorepai
    nful
    ."
    Iputmyli
    pst
    oget
    hertr
    yingt
    oconceal
    mycr
    ies.
    Hetoremydr
    esswit
    htheknif
    e.
    "
    Takeof
    fyourbr
    aandpant
    ies.Yourshoest
    oo.
    "
    "
    Abe.
    ..
    "
    "
    Takei
    tof
    f!
    "
    Iquietl
    yundressedt henl
    ookedathim shaki
    ng.
    Tearsroll
    eddowngoi ngt
    omyneckasI
    thoughtofmyson, hewasgoingtogrowup
    mot her
    lessallbecauseofmymi st
    akes.
    "AbeIam beggingyou.Iwrongedyou,IknowI
    madethewor stmistakeever
    .Butplease
    under
    standIhav eachil
    d.Heneedsme, heonl
    y
    hasme."
    "Youshoul
    dhav
    ethoughtaboutt
    hatbef
    ore
    sleepi
    ngwi
    thmybrot
    her.
    "

    *
    **

    AtTino’shouse,helayonhi scouchfeeli
    ng
    anxious.Hecouldn’thelpbutthi
    nksomet hi
    ng
    waswr ong.Het ookhi sphoneandlookedat
    Eazi’
    snumberbuthehadpr omisedhewoul d
    nevercallherunlessitwasimparti
    vehedoes
    so.Hisphoner angthenheanswer edTsot l
    he’
    s
    cal
    l.
    “
    Heybabe….
    ”
    Shesi
    ghed.“
    Idi
    dsomet
    hingIshoul
    d’thav
    e
    done.
    ”
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “Bef
    oreyoucameandwespoke,
    Ical
    l
    edy
    our
    brot
    her.
    ”
    Ti
    nosatupr
    ight
    .“Whatdi
    dyousay
    ?”
    “
    Itol
    dhi
    mthet
    rut
    h.”
    Hi
    shear
    tski
    pped.“
    Whatexact
    lydi
    dyousay
    ?”
    “Ev
    eryt
    hing.It
    oldhi
    m ev
    ery
    thi
    ng.Ican’
    tsl
    eep.I
    am soscared.
    ”
    “
    Fuck!Whathaveyoudone?Doy
    our
    eal
    i
    ze
    whatyouhavej
    ustdone?”
    “Iam sorr
    y.Ididn’
    tmeanto,Iwasj
    ustangr
    ybut
    nowt hatIthi
    nkabouti
    t,Imadeahuge
    blunder.
    ”
    Acardr
    ovei
    nhisyardt
    henhewalkedtothe
    wi
    ndowandpeaked.Hi
    shear
    tst
    artedpounding.
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Hehungupandqui
    ckl
    ycal
    l
    edTendai
    .
    “
    Yah?
    ”
    “
    Comet
    omyhouse,
    rightnow.
    ”
    “
    Iam hav
    ingdi
    nnerwi
    thMapul
    a.”
    “
    It
    ’samat
    terofl
    i
    feanddeat
    h.Pl
    ease.
    ”
    Abewalkedi
    nashehungup.Hecl
    osedt
    he
    doorst
    ari
    ngatTi
    no.
    “
    Sonowweshar
    ewomen?
    ”
    “
    Wher
    eisEazi
    ?”
    “Whyareyouaskingaboutmywi
    fe?Mywi
    fei
    s
    notyourbusi
    ness.”
    “
    Ithi
    nkyoushoul
    dleav
    eheroutofi
    t.Deal
    wit
    h
    meinst
    ead.
    ”
    “Youwon’tt
    ell
    mewhatt
    odo,
    wantl
    wael
    aTino.
    Yousleepwit
    hmywif
    enow?Onmybed,
    inmy
    house.
    ”
    “
    Iwasmyf
    aul
    t.It
    ookadav
    ant
    ageofher
    emot
    ions,
    shewasn’
    tint
    her
    ight
    ful
    space.
    ”
    Abetookoutthegun."
    Iam goi
    ngt
    oki
    l
    lyouand
    yourgi
    rl
    fr
    iend.
    ”
    “Youdon’
    twanttodestr
    oyyourli
    fel
    ikethi
    s,y
    ou
    haveki
    dsandthosekidsneedyou.Eazi
    loves
    you.
    ”
    Hecockedt hegun.“YouknewIhadkidswhen
    youdecidedtosleepwithmywife.Youthi
    nk
    youcansleepwithmywi feandj
    ustgetaway
    l
    ikethat
    ?Youar ebrother,
    yousl
    eptwithmy
    wif
    e!”
    “
    Abedon’
    tdot
    his.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’shasasi
    l
    encersodon’
    twor
    ry.
    ”
    Tinolookedatt heemer gencybutt
    onacrossthe
    room, chanceswer ethathehadalreadydone
    somet hingtoEazi,helookedatthehugeblood
    stai
    nonhi st
    -shir
    t.Hisheartpoundeeeven
    moreashewonder edwhathemayhav edone
    toEazi.Tinolookedatt heemergencybutt
    on
    againthenAbepulledt
    het
    ri
    ggeroncesendi
    ng
    Tinototheground.Hewal
    kedovertohi
    m and
    crouchedbefor
    ehim.
    “
    Maybeiny ournextl
    i
    fey
    ouwi
    l
    lrespectt
    he
    t
    erm br
    otherhood.
    ”
    Hel ookedaroundandwipedev
    ery
    wherehehad
    touchedt henwal
    kedoutandgoti
    nhi
    scarand
    droveof f
    .

    *
    **

    Inminutes,
    Tendai drovei
    nsi
    det heopengat
    e
    andrushedoutoft hecar.HeopenedTino’
    s
    doorandwal kedin.Hishear
    tskippedashe
    l
    ookedatTi nolyi
    nginapool ofblood.
    “
    Shi
    t!
    ”
    Hewalkedoverandt
    ri
    edfeeli
    ngTi
    no’
    spul
    se
    wi
    thshakeyhandssweat
    ing.Hest
    oodupand
    qui
    ckl
    ydial
    edtheambulancerushi
    ngt
    othe
    nei
    ghbor
    ’shousecal
    l
    ingforhelp.

    *
    **

    Tsot
    lhe’
    shear
    tpoundedasshetri
    edcall
    ing
    Ti
    no’
    sphoneagainbutitwasn’
    tgoi
    ngthough.
    Hermotherl
    ookedather.
    “
    Iknowy
    ouar
    eseei
    ngTi
    no.
    ”
    Tsot
    lhet
    urnedandl
    ookedathermot
    her
    .“Ma?
    ”
    “
    Iknowy
    ouar
    eseei
    ngt
    hatman.
    ”
    Tsotl
    heputdownherphone.“
    Hewasgoi
    ngt
    o
    tel
    lyou.
    ”
    “Heisagoodmanbutbecar ef
    ul.Donotbea
    walkover
    .Youwil
    lneverknowwithmenl i
    ke
    him sor
    emainworki
    nghard.Don’tf
    orgetwhy
    youarewprki
    ngsohard.”
    Shesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Iwon’
    t.
    ”
    Herphoner
    angt
    henshequi
    ckl
    yanswer
    ed.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Youaresochi
    l
    dish,
    youbl
    ockedmeon
    what
    sapp.
    ”
    “Ihavenot
    hingtodi
    scusswi
    thy
    ouBr
    idget
    te,
    stayawayfrom me.
    ”
    Tsot
    lhehungupanddial
    edTi
    no’
    snumberagai
    n.
    Shesighedt
    aki
    ngthephonef
    rom t
    heear
    ,
    maybehewasangryandshecoul
    dgoandtal
    k
    tohi
    mt omorr
    ow.

    *
    **

    Eazi
    ’smotheropenedhereyeslyi
    ngonherbed
    unablet
    osleep.Somethi
    nginhergutmadeher
    getupandtakeherphonethenshecall
    edEazi
    butherphonewasoff.Shecall
    edOntl
    ametsi
    .
    “
    Mama…”
    “
    Hav
    eyouspokent
    oEazi
    today
    ?”
    “Yes.Ispoket
    oherwhenshewasonherway
    backtoGabs.”
    “
    Ihav
    eabadf
    eel
    i
    ng.
    ”
    “Mamapleasesl
    eep.Not
    hingi
    swr
    ong.
    Ever
    yoneisfi
    ne.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Eazi
    ’
    smotherhungupandsl
    owl
    yknel
    tdown
    cl
    osi
    nghereyes.
    “GodIknowIam thelastpersontoask
    anyt
    hingfrom y
    ou,Ihavehurtalotofpeopl
    e
    andhav edonesomuchwr ongbutplease
    remembermydaught er.Pr
    otectherwherev
    er
    sheis.Sheneedsyou,Icoverherwit
    htheblood
    ofJesus.Amen.”
    Shesl
    owlyst
    oodupandsatdownbut
    somet
    hingdi
    dn’
    twel
    li
    nherspir
    itshef
    ound
    her
    sel
    fwant
    ingt
    ocr
    y.

    *
    **

    Ginasmi
    l
    edst
    ari
    ngatMal
    col
    m whohadwoken
    up.
    “YourDadandMom dr
    oppedy
    ouof
    f.Youar
    e
    stayi
    ngwit
    hmetoday.
    ”
    “
    ButIdi
    dn’
    tsayIl
    ovey
    oumama.
    ”
    “
    Youwi
    l
    lsayi
    ttomor
    row.
    ”
    “
    Youshoul
    dcal
    lher
    .”
    Shetookherphoneknowi
    nghewouldn’
    tleti
    t
    goti
    l
    l hespoketohi
    smothert
    henshecalled
    Abe.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Heyson,
    Mal
    cwant
    stospeakt
    ohi
    smot
    her
    .”
    “
    Giv
    ehi
    mthephone.
    ”
    Gi
    nahandedMal
    cthephone.
    “
    Mama?
    ”
    “
    Heychamp,
    it’
    sme…”
    “
    Oh!Wher
    eismama?
    ”
    “
    Shei
    sbat
    hing.
    ”
    “
    ButIwant
    edt
    osayIl
    ovey
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    ltel
    lherf
    ory
    ou,
    deal
    ?”
    “
    Deal
    !”
    “
    Ok,
    goodni
    ght
    .Beagoodboy
    .”
    “
    Goodni
    ght
    .”
    Mal
    col
    m handedGi
    nathephonebacksadl
    y
    t
    henshel
    ookedathi
    m.“What’
    swrong?”
    “
    Shewasbat
    hing.
    ”
    “
    Youwi
    l
    ltel
    lhert
    omor
    row.
    ”
    Hesadl
    ywal
    kedaway
    .
    *
    **

    Atthehospi
    tal
    ,Tendai
    satatt
    hewait
    ingar
    ea,
    hi
    sheartpoundi
    ng.Hetookhi
    sphoneand
    cal
    l
    edAbe.
    “
    Yah?
    ”
    “
    Tinoi
    sher
    e,hewasshot
    .”
    “
    Tinowassl
    eepi
    ngwi
    tnEazi
    .”
    Tendai
    paused.“
    What
    ?”
    “Hesl
    eptwit
    hmywifewhi
    l
    eIl
    ayont
    hehospi
    tal
    bedfi
    ght
    ingformyl
    i
    fe.
    ”
    “
    Abewhathav
    eyoudone?
    ”
    “
    Hesl
    eptwi
    thmywi
    fe!
    ”
    “
    Fuck!Whathav
    eyoudone?Wher
    eisEazi
    ?”
    Abekeptqui
    et.“
    Abe,
    wher
    eisEazi
    .”
    “
    Tinowassupposedtobemybrot
    her
    .Si
    nce
    whendoeshesleepwit
    hmywif
    e?Onmybed
    t
    oo.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    egoi
    ngt
    ojai
    l
    ?Doy
    our
    eal
    i
    zet
    hat
    ?”
    “
    Shei
    smywi
    feandshe…”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Onmywayt
    ohandmy
    sel
    fov
    er.
    ”
    “No,don’
    tdothat
    .Ti
    nowon’
    tsayanyt
    hing,
    I
    don’
    tknowwhat ’
    sgoi
    ngonr
    ightnowbutit
    ’s
    tooearl
    yfort
    hat.
    ”
    “
    Hemi
    ghtdi
    e.”
    “Ornot
    .Hewasstil
    lal
    i
    vewhenIarr
    ived.The
    paramedi
    csconf
    ir
    medi t
    .WeneedtofindEazi
    .
    Whatdidyoudotoher
    ?”
    Hekeptqui
    et.Tendai
    swall
    owedhar
    d.“
    Abe,
    whatdi
    dyoudot oher?”

    *
    **
    Thabil
    e’
    sphonerangasshewatchedTVwi
    th
    Richar
    dthenshereachedf
    ori
    tandand
    answered.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Wef oundachi
    l
    d,wethinkshemightbeyour
    s.
    Pleasecometothepol
    icestat
    ionnowify
    ou
    can.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Shest
    oodupandl
    ookedatRi
    char
    d.
    “
    Ithi
    nkt
    heyf
    oundmydaught
    er.
    ”
    Ri
    char
    dsmi
    l
    ed.“
    Real
    l
    y?”
    “
    Yes,
    Ihav
    etogo.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    ltakey
    ou.
    ”
    “No,
    youcannotleavet
    heki
    dsal
    one,
    buty
    ou
    canbor
    rormey ourcar
    .”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Ruchar
    dhandedhert
    hecarkey
    sthenshe
    qui
    ckl
    ywal
    kedoutanddr
    oveof
    f.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essoonsOfAWi
    fe

    #66

    "
    Abedi
    l
    ewher
    eisEazi
    ?"
    "
    Idon'
    tknow,
    dead.
    "
    "
    Dead?Whatdi
    dyoudot
    oher
    ?"
    Hekeptmaki ngTendai '
    sannoyancegroweven
    more."Doy our eali
    zewhat'sontheli
    ne?You
    ar
    egoi ngtojail!Isthatwhatyouwant?It'
    snot
    evenfuninsidet here.I
    tsnotl
    iketheyshowon
    TV.ThisisAf r
    ica."
    "
    Ilef
    thert
    her
    e."
    "
    Ther
    ewer
    e?"
    "
    Int
    hebush?
    "
    "
    Whatdi
    dyoudot
    oher
    ?"
    "
    Ist
    abbedher
    ."
    "
    Isshedead?
    "
    "
    Idon'
    tknow.Il
    efthert
    her
    e."
    "Iam goi
    ngt
    omakeaf ewcal l
    s,stayawayfrom
    thepoli
    cest
    ati
    on.Iwi
    l
    lsor ti
    tout.Iknow
    peoplewhoknowpeople.ButIwanty outohave
    yourstor
    yst
    rai
    ght.
    "
    Tendai hungupandlookedathisownhands
    shaking.Hehadalwayscoveredupforhi
    s
    sibl
    i
    ngsev er
    yti
    mebutthiswasevenbigger
    thanhimt hathewonderedi
    fhecouldpulli
    tof
    f.
    Hecal l
    edanumber .
    "
    Tendai
    ..
    ."
    "
    Ineedaf
    avor
    ."
    *
    **

    Abeswal l
    owedhar dstoppi nghi scaratthered
    traf
    fi
    clight.Tearsblurredhi svisionashisheart
    pounded.Ev enaftershoot ingTi nohesti
    lldi
    dn't
    feelbett
    er.Eazi'
    scriesr angi nhisheadwhi l
    ehe
    drove.Shehadgot t
    ent ot hestagewher eshe
    j
    ustlayt heremotionlessaf terbeggingforher
    l
    ifecount l
    esstimes.Hi shandsshookwi thfear
    ofwhathehaddone.
    Het ookau- t
    urnanddr ovebackt othebush.
    May beshewasn' tdeady et,hehadjuststabbed
    hertwice..
    .may bethrice.Hewasn' tsure
    anymor e.Hismemor yseemedt obepl ayi
    ng
    btri
    cksonhi m.Awhi l
    el aterheparkedhiscarat
    thesceneandl ookedar oundbutshewasn' t
    there.Hewassosur ehel efthert
    here.His
    heartstart
    edpoundi ngashesear chedf orher.
    Het ookouthi sphoneandswi t
    chedont he
    fl
    ashl ightwal ki
    ngar ound.Hercl otheswer e
    gonet oo.Hesear chedar oundev enmor ebut
    shewasnowher et obef ound.Hadsomeone
    foundherormay besomeonet ookherdead
    bodyandwaspr obabl ygoi ngt ousei tfor
    ri
    tuals.Hecov eredhi sfaceunabl et othink.
    May beheshoul dhav ejustt alkedt ohercal mly
    .
    Hecoul dn'tblameherf orcheat i
    ngbutwi thhi
    s
    brother ?Outofev eryonei nt hewor lditjusthad
    tobehi sbr other.Thepai nf eltdi
    fferent,it
    wasn' tjustt hebet rayal.Itwassomet hingmor e
    thatitfeltasi fhishear twasccr ushing.He
    crouchedont hegr oundasat earfelldown.
    Whatst il
    lhur thim wast hef actthathest i
    ll
    l
    ov edher .

    *
    **
    Thabi
    l
    ewalkedinsi
    dethepoli
    cest
    ati
    onand
    wentt
    othedetecti
    ve'
    soff
    ice.
    "
    Wher
    eisshe?
    "
    TheDetecti
    vel
    ookedatherandst
    oodup.
    "Come.
    .."
    Shewalkedbehindhimtot heot
    herof f
    ice
    whereawomanwashol dingasleepi
    ngchi l
    d.
    Thabil
    equickl
    yranoverandlookedatt hechi
    ld,
    tear
    spooledinhereyes.Shecoveredherface
    cryi
    ng.Thedetect
    ivesi
    gheddisappointed.
    "
    It
    'snother
    ?"
    Thabilenoddedcryi
    nglouder.Thewoman
    hol
    dingt hechi
    ldsadl
    ylookedatThabi
    le,
    her
    ownt earswett
    inghercheeks.Thedet
    ecti
    ve
    pul
    ledThabileoutandhuggedher .
    "
    Wewi
    l
    lkeepl
    ooki
    ng.Wear
    egoi
    ngt
    ofi
    ndher
    ."
    "
    Ijustwantmydaught
    er.
    "
    "
    Wewi
    l
    lkeepsear
    chi
    ng.Wewi
    l
    lfi
    ndher
    ."
    "
    May
    beshei
    sdead.
    "
    "
    Don'
    tthi
    nknegat
    ivel
    y.
    "
    Thabi
    le'
    sphoner
    angt
    henshest
    eppedback
    answeri
    ng.
    "
    Hel
    l
    o?"
    "
    Wasi
    ther
    ?"
    "
    No.I
    twasn'
    t.
    "
    "
    Iam sor
    ry.Shoul
    dIcome?
    "
    Thabil
    eopenedhermout
    htospeakbutpai
    n
    chockedher
    .
    "
    Ngng.
    "
    "
    Iam comi
    ng.
    "
    "
    Whataboutt
    heki
    ds?
    "
    "
    Iam dr
    oppi
    ngt
    hem of
    fatt
    hei
    rnanny
    'shouse.
    "
    "Areyousur
    eshewon'
    tdoany
    thi
    ngt
    othe
    kids?
    "
    "
    No,
    Ihav
    ebeenwi
    thherf
    orawhi
    l
    enow.
    "
    "
    Ok.
    "
    "
    Wai
    tforme.
    "
    "
    Ok.
    "
    Shehungupandcal
    l
    edhermot
    her
    .
    "
    Thabi
    l
    e..
    ."
    "
    Itwasn'
    ther
    .Thedet
    ect
    ivecal
    l
    edmesay
    ing
    t
    heyfoundachi
    ld.
    "
    "
    Oh.
    ."
    "
    Ist
    hatal
    lyoucansay
    ?"
    "
    Whatel
    sedoy
    ouwantmet
    osay
    ?"
    "
    Mychi
    l
    dismi
    ssi
    ngandt
    hat
    'sal
    lyoucansay
    ?"
    "Yourchil
    dismi ssingbecauseofy ou.Stop
    try
    ingtogetpityfrom peoplebecauseofy our
    owncar el
    essness.Inev erl
    eftmychi l
    drenalone.
    Don'tmakey ourfailur
    esmybusi ness."
    "
    Whydoy
    ouhat
    emet
    hismuch?
    "
    "Idon'
    thatey
    oubutIcan'
    tkeepdoi
    ngthis
    Thabil
    e.Youareagr
    ownwoman, behaveli
    ke
    i
    t."
    Shehungupwi
    pingawayhert
    ears.Mi
    nut
    es
    l
    aterRi
    char
    dwal
    kedoverandhuggedher
    .
    "
    Iam sor
    ry.
    "
    "It
    hinkmaybei
    t'
    sti
    meIacceptt
    hatIam nev
    er
    goingtoseemychi
    ldagai
    n."
    "
    Iam reall
    ysorry
    .Ican'tsayIunder
    standhow
    youf
    eel butIhaveanidea.Idon'
    tknowwhatI
    woul
    ddoi feverIloseEmmaorKar abo."
    "
    Itseemsl
    i
    keIam al
    lal
    onei
    nthi
    sfi
    ght
    ."
    "
    Youarenot.Youhav
    emeandt
    heki
    ds.Wegot
    y
    ou.Let
    'sgo."
    Hetookherhandandwal kedoutwithherwhil
    e
    thedetect
    ivewatched.Hi
    scol
    leaguewalked
    overandsighed.
    "
    Itwasnother
    ?"
    "
    No.
    "
    "
    Waaii
    ,thatchi
    ldispr
    obablydeadwher
    evershe
    i
    s.Havi
    nghopei swasteofti
    meespeci
    all
    yafter
    t
    hisl
    ong.Therearesi
    ckpeopleoutt
    here.
    "
    "
    Yah.
    ..
    "

    *
    **

    Thef oll
    owingmor ni
    ng,mmagwewokeupaf t
    er
    anent ir
    enightoftossi
    ngandtur ni
    ng.She
    reachedf orherphoneanddial
    edEazi agai
    nbut
    herphonewasnowof f
    .Shewal kedoutofher
    bedroom andwal kedtothebathroom where
    shebat hedandchanged.Shepackedherbag
    anddi al
    edOnt l
    ametsi.
    "
    Hel
    l
    o?"
    "Ontl
    ametsiIam goi
    ngt
    oGabor
    one.Ican'
    tstay
    herenotknowingwhati
    swr
    ongwithmychild."
    "
    Eazi
    isf
    ine,
    shei
    swi
    thherhusband.
    "
    "
    Ngng,somet
    hingi
    snotr
    ight
    .Iam goi
    ng
    t
    her
    e."
    "
    Youar
    ewast
    ingmoneyf
    ornor
    eason.
    "
    MmagweEazi
    hungupt
    henwal
    kedoutwi
    thher
    bag.
    Shebumpedi
    ntohernei
    ghbort
    hensi
    ghed
    annoy
    ed.
    "
    Uhu,wherear
    eyougoi
    ngsoear
    lyi
    nthe
    mor
    ning?"
    "Mosadi
    ,nt
    swel
    emot
    sel
    eng.(
    Woman,
    getout
    ofmyway .
    )"
    Shepassedast henei
    ghborlookedathert
    hen
    clappedherhandstal
    ki
    ngalone.Acarpassed
    herwal ki
    ngt
    otheroadthenitsloweddownand
    reversed.
    Thedri
    verrol
    leddownhiswindowandl
    ooked
    athert
    akingoffhi
    sbasebal
    lcap.
    "
    Mama,
    wakae?(
    Wher
    ear
    eyougoi
    ng?
    )"
    MmagweEazilookedatt
    hefi
    tyoungman."
    Ke
    yaGabor
    onengwanake.(
    Iam goi
    ngto
    Gabor
    onemychild.
    )"
    Hesmi l
    ed."
    Keyatengl
    enna,t
    senangmo
    kol
    oing.(
    Iam al
    sogoi
    ngther
    e,geti
    nthecar
    .)
    "
    "Tot
    awon'tyoust
    ealme?Ihav en'
    theardfrom
    mydaughtersi
    nceyester
    day,Idi
    dn'tsl
    eep,
    somethi
    ngisnotri
    ght,
    Icanfeelit
    .Idon'twant
    todi
    ewithoutmeeti
    ngher.Ihavetotel
    lher
    somethi
    ng."
    Helaughed."
    Idon'tstealpeopl
    e.WhereIwas
    rai
    sedIwastaughtt oalwayshelpwereIcan
    andy ouaret
    hesameageasmymot her
    ,Ican'
    t
    j
    ustleaveyouwalkingtotheroad.I
    tfeeksli
    kei
    am leaci
    ngmymot her.Pleasegeti
    n."
    "
    Ok,
    mayGodbl
    essy
    ou.
    "
    Shegoti
    nthecarandputont
    heseat
    bel
    t.
    "
    Mynamei
    sOt
    eng.
    "
    "
    Nicemeet
    ingy
    ouson.
    "
    "
    Ehmma.
    "
    Hedr
    oveof
    froll
    ingdownthewi
    ndowsas
    MmagweEazienjoy
    edthecomf
    ort
    abl
    ecar.

    *
    **

    Tanpar kedhisr
    ent
    alcaratt
    heparki
    nglotand
    walkedinsideLi
    na'
    scompany.Hesmiledatthe
    recept
    ionist.
    "
    Isshei
    n?"
    "
    Yes,
    butshei
    saboutt
    ogot
    ocour
    t.
    "
    "
    Iwon'
    tbel
    ong.
    "
    Hewalkedt
    oherof
    fi
    ceandwal
    kedi
    n.Li
    na
    t
    urnedtohi
    m.
    "
    Iam goi
    ngt
    ocour
    t.
    "
    "
    Iwantust
    otal
    k."
    "
    Iam goi
    ngt
    ocour
    t.
    "
    Tancl
    osedthedoorandlockedthen
    unbut
    tonedhi
    sjacketwal
    kingtowar
    dsher
    .
    "
    Tan,
    Idon'
    thav
    eti
    mef
    ort
    his,
    Iam busy
    ."
    "St
    handoismybabymama, Idon'tknowwhere
    shegotyournumberfr
    om butIspoketoher
    andshewillnev
    ercal
    lyouagai
    n."
    Li
    naroll
    edherey
    es."Idon'
    tcar
    e.Iam busy
    .I
    don'
    thavet
    imetoplaystupi
    dgames."
    Tansmil
    edstar
    ingather
    ."Thatat
    ti
    tudeofy
    ou
    wil
    lgety
    ouintr
    ouble.
    "
    Li
    narai
    sedhereyebrowsf
    oldi
    ngherar
    ms
    dar
    inghi
    m."Real
    l
    y ?"
    Tanwalkedcl
    oserandwhi
    sper
    ed."
    Youwantt
    o
    seehowitgoesdown?"
    "
    Yes.Idar
    eyou.
    "
    Hegrabbedherhai
    randgav eherahotkisst
    hat
    l
    eftherbr
    eathl
    essandt hr
    obbi
    ng.Heturnedher
    ar
    oundpulli
    ngherdress.
    "
    Tan,
    Ihav
    etogot
    ocour
    t!
    "
    Hetookouthi
    sdi
    ckpul
    l
    ingherthongt
    othe
    si
    deandrammeddeepi
    nsideher.
    "
    Arr
    rgTan!
    "
    "Af
    tert
    his,
    wewi l
    lhaveaclearunder
    standi
    ng.
    "
    Hepull
    edhercloserandwhisper
    edonherneck.
    "Weareputti
    ngthatatt
    it
    udeincheckbabe.
    ..I
    am goi
    ngtofuckitoutofyou.
    "
    Hepushedhercheatdowntothet
    abl
    ewi
    thhi
    s
    ot
    herhandonherwaistand.
    ..
    .
    Tangaveheronelastst
    roket
    hensli
    dout
    l
    eavi
    ngcum drippi
    ngdown.Hesteppedback
    andfi
    xedhispants.
    Li
    naqui
    etl
    yreachedf
    orwi
    per
    sandwi
    ped
    her
    sel
    fthenf
    ixedher
    sel
    f.
    "
    Whatt
    imei
    syourcour
    tcase?
    "
    "
    At10.
    "
    "
    At10?
    "
    "
    Ehr
    ra.
    "
    "Youst
    il
    lhav
    eanhourt
    or each.Ihavea
    busi
    nessmeeti
    ng,
    Iam f
    lyi
    ngbackt oMaun.
    "
    "
    Ok.
    "
    Hekissedher
    ."I
    fyoudi
    srespectme,Iwil
    lfuck
    yousohardyouwil
    lhav
    est i
    tches.Raut
    wana
    babe?"
    "
    Ehr
    ra.
    "
    "Good.Il
    oveyou.Iam notconf
    usedaboutwhat
    Iwantsoy oudon'
    thavetoworryaboutt
    hat
    ."
    "
    Ok.Il
    ovey
    out
    oo.
    "
    Hekissedheronel
    astt
    imeandwal
    kedout
    f
    ixi
    nghisjacket
    .
    *
    **

    Malcol
    m waitedbythedoorwait
    ingtoseehis
    fat
    her'
    scarbuthehadbeenwai t
    ingforsolong
    hewasstart
    ingtolosehope.Hewentt ot
    he
    kit
    chenwhereGinawasmaki ngbreakf
    ast.
    "
    Cany
    oudr
    ivemehome.Iwantt
    oseemama.
    "
    "
    Mal
    c,y
    ourdadi
    scomi
    ng.
    "
    "
    Hei
    staki
    ngt
    ool
    ong.
    "
    "
    Hei
    sal
    mosther
    e.Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lhi
    m."
    Gi
    nat
    ookherphoneandcal
    l
    edAbe.
    "
    Abe,
    wher
    ear
    eyou?
    "
    "
    Eazi
    ismi
    ssi
    ng.
    "
    "
    Whatdoy
    oumean?
    "
    "
    Shei
    smi
    ssi
    ng.Si
    ncel
    astni
    ght
    ."
    "
    Abe,
    stopi
    t.
    "
    "
    Iam comi
    ngt
    her
    e."
    Hehungup,
    Ginat
    urnedt
    oMal
    col
    m.
    "
    Yourdadi
    sonhi
    sway
    ."
    Mal
    col
    mjumpedexci
    tedl
    y.

    *
    **

    Tsot
    lhewalkedt
    owar dsTino'
    sgateasacar
    st
    oppedbesideher.Shelookedi
    nsidet
    hegate
    st
    ari
    ngatthepoli
    ce.
    Themanf
    rom t
    hecarst
    eppedoutandl
    ooked
    ather
    .
    "
    Hi,
    whoar
    eyoul
    ooki
    ngf
    or?
    "
    "
    Tino.Mynamei
    sTsot
    lhe.
    "
    Themansmi
    l
    ed."
    Oh,
    youar
    etheTsot
    lhe?
    "
    "
    Yeswhat
    'sgoi
    ngon?
    "
    "
    Ther
    ewasanacci
    dent
    .Buthei
    sfi
    ne.
    "
    Tsot
    lheputherhandov
    erhermout
    hinshock.

    *
    **

    Somewher ei
    ntheout skirt
    sofGaborone,a
    groupofmanst oodstaringdowninshock.
    Theysteppedbackast hepoliceof
    fi
    cers
    walkedovergi
    vingthem space.Thepolice
    l
    ookedatwhatt heywer estar
    ingandshook
    thei
    rheadssadl
    y .
    "
    Koor
    ewhathav
    epeopl
    etur
    nedi
    nto?
    "
    Themanwhohadcal
    l
    edt
    hepol
    i
    cewal
    kedov
    er
    tot
    hem.
    "Iwasherepicki
    ngfir
    ewoodwhenIsawt
    oo.I
    didn'
    ttouchanyt
    hing.
    "
    Oneoft
    hepol
    i
    ceof
    fi
    cerl
    ookedathi
    m."
    You
    di
    dwell
    ."
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #67

    Thepoliceof f
    icerputonhisgl
    ovesashi sother
    col
    leaguesar ri
    vedatthescenethenknelt
    beforethenakedwomanl yi
    ngfacedownwi th
    hertorndressont opofher.Shelookedatthe
    womanf orawhi l
    ethenfrownedtouchingher
    necktof eelanypulse.Shequi
    cklystoodup.
    “
    Cal
    ltheambul
    ance!Shei
    sal
    i
    ve!
    ”

    *
    **
    Aprisonescaperstoodinthebusheswat
    chi
    ng
    astheycoveredthenakedwomanwi t
    hmore
    cl
    othes,hi
    sfriendwalkedover
    .
    “
    Theyhav
    efoundher
    ,let
    ’sgonow.
    ”
    “
    Shei
    sal
    i
    ve.
    ”
    “
    Let
    ’sgo.
    ”
    Helookedatt hewomanf orawhi l
    e,hehad
    foundherl astnightbutcouldn’
    ttakehert othe
    hospit
    al becauset henhewoul dbear r
    estedso
    hehadj ustkeptherwi thhimt i
    l
    lmor ningin
    hopesthatsomeonewi l
    lwalkov erthesame
    dir
    ecti
    on.
    “
    Let
    ’sgo!
    ”
    “
    Herphonei
    sther
    e,Ihopet
    heygeti
    t.
    ”
    “
    Whyareyousoconcer
    nedaboutthi
    swoman
    wheny
    ourfr
    eedom i
    sontheli
    ne?”
    “
    Mymot
    herdi
    edbecausenoonehel
    pedher
    .”
    Hi
    sfr
    iendsi
    ghed.“
    Ok,
    let
    ’sgo.
    ”
    Heturnedandt
    heywal
    kedawayl
    eav
    ingt
    he
    scene.

    *
    **

    Tendai
    lookedatAbewhowasdr
    ivi
    ng.
    “
    Whatdoy
    oumeanshewasnott
    her
    e?”
    “
    Shewasnott her
    e.Iwentt
    ogetherbutshe
    wasn’
    tther
    e.”
    “Maybesomeonesavedher.Weneedt
    olooki
    n
    hospi
    tal
    s.Hopef
    ull
    ysheisali
    ve.
    ”
    Hedrov
    ei nsi
    dehismother’
    syardandparked
    t
    hecarthensteppedoutwithTendai
    .Theyboth
    wal
    kedinsidethehouseasAbe’sphonerang.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi,
    Iam of
    fi
    cerLef
    efa.
    ”
    Abe’
    sheartski
    ppedast
    hewomanwenton
    i
    ntr
    oduci
    ngherself
    .
    “
    Ehmma,
    IknowEazi
    .Shei
    smywi
    fe.
    ”
    “Yourwif
    ewasf oundi
    nthebushal
    most
    stabbedtodeat
    h.Whenlastdi
    dyouseeher
    ?”
    “
    Lastni
    ght
    .Athome.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Atmymot
    her
    ’shouse.
    ”
    “Ithinkyoushoul
    dcomedownthepol
    i
    ce
    stationf
    orquesti
    oni
    ng,
    orwecancomeand
    collecty
    ou.”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lcome.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    HehungupthenTendai
    lookedathi
    m.“
    They
    f
    oundher?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Theywanty
    ouf
    orquest
    ioni
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Tendaisi
    ghedstari
    ngathi
    syoungerbrother
    knowingunderpressur
    ehewoul
    dpr obably
    crack.
    “Ial
    readygotsomeoneont
    hecase.Letmecal
    l
    him.”
    Tendai
    pressedhi
    sphoneandcal
    l
    edanumber
    .
    “
    Tendai
    !”
    “Marol
    e,she’
    sbenf ound.Theyar
    ebr
    ingi
    ngmy
    brot
    herforquest
    ioning.
    ”
    “Ok,l
    etmef indout.Weal r
    eadyopenedacase
    ofami ssi
    ngper sonlastni
    ghtsoIwil
    lsor
    titout.
    Lethi
    m got here,st
    ickwiththest
    ory,
    hopeful
    ly
    shemakesi tandmanagest osavehi
    m.”
    “
    Yeah,
    thanks.
    ”
    “
    Sur
    eT!
    ”
    Tendai
    hungup.“
    Iwi
    l
    ldeal
    wit
    hmama,
    go.
    ”
    Abewalkedbacktothecaranddroveoffas
    Tendai
    proceededi
    nsidethehouse.Gi
    nalooked
    athi
    m.
    “
    Wher
    eisAbe?
    ”
    “
    Hewentt
    othepol
    i
    cest
    ati
    on.
    ”
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngonTendai
    ?”
    Tendai l
    ookedathismot her
    .“EaziandAbehad
    ami sunderst
    andinglastnight.Abewasangry,
    heleftandwentoutf orsomespace.Eazi must
    havethoughthewasgoi ngtobeathersoshe
    fl
    ed.Heopenedacasel astnightbecausehe
    waswor riedabouther.”
    “
    Hasshebeenf
    ound?
    ”
    “
    Yes,t
    heyfoundherandhehasbeencal
    l
    edt o
    t
    hepoli
    cestat
    ion.I
    tseemsshemusthavebeen
    r
    obbed.
    ”
    “
    Poort
    hing.
    ”
    “
    Yeah,
    Tinoal
    sowasshotl
    astni
    ght
    .”
    “
    Tendai
    …”
    “Musthav
    ebeenathi
    ef,
    hecal
    ledmelastni
    ght
    sayi
    ngIshoul
    dcome.Hewasscar
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Whi
    chhospi
    tal
    ?”
    Mal
    col
    m wal
    kedov
    erwi
    thasmi
    l
    e.
    “
    Wher
    eismama?
    ”
    Gi
    nal
    ookedathi
    m.“
    Uh…shei
    scomi
    ng.
    ”
    Tendail
    ookedatEazi’
    ssonsadl y
    ,hecouldn’
    t
    evenimagi
    nehowi tfel
    tgrowingupwithout
    bothpar
    ents.OfcauseAbepl ay
    edthefather
    rol
    einhisl
    if
    ebutitwasn’tthesame.
    “
    Iwi
    l
    ltakehi
    m wi
    th.
    ”
    “
    Hewant
    shi
    smot
    her
    .”
    “Iwi
    l
    lhearfr
    om Abe.I
    fshei
    sfine,
    then
    obvi
    ousl
    ytheywil
    lcomebackhome.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Tendai
    wal
    kedov
    ert
    oMal
    col
    m.“
    Hey
    ,your
    parent
    sar
    ebusysoIam goi
    ngt
    otakey
    out
    o
    them.”
    Hesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Ok.
    ”

    *
    **

    Tsotlhewal
    kedoutoft hehospi
    talastearsran
    downhercheeks.Shewassur eitwasal l
    her
    faul
    t.Hehadbeenshotl astni
    ghtbutbywho?
    Obv i
    ousl
    yhisbrotherhaddonei t
    ,ther
    ewasno
    otherwaytoexplainit.Sheputherhandov er
    hermout hwonderingwhyshehadt ol
    dAbe.
    Therehadbeennor easonto,al
    lshehadt odo
    wasdeal wi
    thherman.
    Herphoner
    angf
    rom herj
    eanpocket
    .“Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Iam comi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Hur
    ry,
    wear
    epr
    esent
    ingandy
    ouknowhow
    pr
    ofi
    s,pl
    easehur
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Iam comi
    ng.
    ”
    Hergroupmat ehungupasshewal kedtowards
    thebusstop.Shewonderedifitwillbeusef
    ulto
    tel
    lthepol
    icewhathadhappened.Most
    probabl
    y,whatifAbecamebackt ofini
    shhi
    m
    off?Shegotinthecombi t
    hinkingofhowshe
    wouldexplai
    nthewholescenariotot hepol
    i
    ce.

    *
    **

    Linawalkedoutofcour
    tlooki
    ngatherwat
    ch
    thengotinthecarasherphoner
    ang.She
    l
    ookedatAbe’ snumberandansweredwi
    tha
    smile.
    “
    Abe…”
    “
    Hey
    ,canwet
    alk?
    ”
    “
    Yeah,
    ofcause.Iam happyy
    oucal
    l
    ed.
    ”
    “Ineedyourhel
    p.Somet
    hinghappenedl
    ast
    night.
    ”
    From hi
    svoi
    ceshecoul
    dfeel
    itwasser
    ious.
    “What?”
    “
    Eazi
    andIhadaf
    ight
    .”
    Li
    na’
    shear
    tski
    pped.“
    Abe…”
    “
    Ifoundoutshewassl
    eepi
    ngwi
    thTi
    no.
    ”
    “
    No!
    ”
    “
    Ilosti
    t.
    ”
    “
    Whatdi
    dyoudo?
    ”
    “
    Ist
    abbedher
    .It
    hinkt
    wice.
    ”
    “
    Abe!
    ”
    “
    IwentandshotTi
    no.Butheisgoi
    ngt
    obef
    ine.
    Noonesawmet her
    e.ButEazi
    …”
    “
    Isshedead?
    ”
    “No.Shewasfoundwit
    hst abwounds.IknowI
    didn’
    tst
    abhertoki
    ll
    her.Iam att
    hepolice
    stat
    ionforquesti
    oning.Butthat’
    snotwhyI
    call
    ed.Iwanttotel
    l t
    hetruth.Iwantyout
    ohelp
    meputmyasset sinhernamei ncaseIgoto
    j
    ailforalongti
    me.”
    “Don’
    ttal
    kli
    ket
    hat
    .Iam comi
    ngt
    her
    e.I
    sshe
    awake?”
    “
    Theyar
    enott
    ell
    i
    ngmeany
    thi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    it’
    sfi
    ne.Don’
    tsayany
    thi
    ngt
    il
    lIam t
    her
    e.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Shest
    art
    edt
    hecaranddr
    oveof
    f.

    *
    **

    Mapulawal kedi
    nsi
    det hecompanysippi
    ngon
    hercappuccino,
    therecept
    ioni
    stl
    ookedather
    asshewal kedbywit
    hal ookofdisgust
    .
    “
    Somet
    hingcamei
    nfory
    ou.
    ”
    Mapul
    alookedather
    .“What
    ?”
    “
    Thi
    sfl
    ower
    s.”
    Mapulat
    ookthef
    lower
    sandwal kedt
    oher
    off
    icewi
    tht
    hem.Shetookherphoneandcal
    l
    ed
    Barry
    .
    “
    Beaut
    if
    ul…”
    “
    Ilov
    ethef
    lower
    s.”
    “
    Iknewy
    ouwoul
    d.”
    Shelaughed.“Ihopethi
    sdoesn’
    tchange,kana
    weknowy ougiveity
    oural
    lwheny ouare
    chasi
    ngbutwheny ouhavecaughtyourpr
    ey,no
    morespeci al
    treat
    mentorP2000wor t
    hlunch.
    ”
    Bar
    rychuckl
    ed.“
    Ket
    li
    legogobol
    aisamar
    ato,
    wai
    tandwatch.”
    “
    Ok,
    thanky
    ou.Thef
    lower
    esar
    elov
    ely
    .”
    “
    Lunchagai
    n?”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    bythewayIhav
    est
    art
    edl
    ooki
    ngf
    oraj
    ob
    f
    ory
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Thanks.Hei
    sgoi
    ngt
    ofi
    remeorhar
    assme.
    ”
    “
    Ifhehar
    assesy
    ou,
    tel
    lme.
    ”
    Shesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Ihav
    etogo,
    dut
    ycal
    l
    s.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Barr
    yhungupasshelookedatherf
    lower
    sthen
    ty
    pedabreakupmessagetoTendai
    .

    *
    **

    Latert
    hatday
    ,Otenghel
    dt hesteer
    ingwheel
    wit
    honehandandanswer edhisphoneas
    MmagweEazi si
    ppedonherj ui
    cewhileeat
    ing
    herNandos.
    “
    Yeah?
    ”
    “
    Oti
    e,wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    Ot
    engl
    aughed.“
    Ial
    mostt
    her
    e,pat
    ience.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    becausewear
    ewai
    ti
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lbet
    her
    e.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hehungupandl
    ookedathi
    swat
    ch.
    “
    Mama,
    wher
    eshpul
    dIdr
    opy
    ouof
    f?”
    “AtEazi
    ’
    shouse.Her
    eistheaddr
    ess.
    ”She
    handedhimt
    hepieceofpaper
    .
    “
    Ok,
    weal
    mostt
    her
    e.”
    “
    Thanky
    oumyson.
    ”
    MmagweEazi’sphonerang,shetookthe
    ser
    viet
    teandwipedherhandsthenpicked.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Mama,Eazi
    isinhospi
    tal
    .Shewasmugged
    andst
    abbed.”
    “
    Issheal
    i
    ve?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Whi
    chhospi
    tal
    ,tal
    ktomysonher
    e,hegav
    e
    meal
    if
    t.
    ”
    ShehandedOt
    engt
    hephone.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi,pl
    easet
    akehertoBokamoso,
    Eazi
    hasbeen
    t
    ransf
    err
    edther
    e.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lpayy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    No,
    youdon’
    thav
    eto.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ousomuch.
    ”
    HehandedmmagweEazi thephoneanddr ove
    tothepri
    v at
    ehospit
    al.Hewal kedwithher
    i
    nsideignori
    nghisphonewhi chwasv i
    brati
    ngin
    hispocketandspokebr i
    efl
    ytot herecepti
    onist
    whosmi leddir
    ect
    ingthem towher eEazi was.
    “
    Okmama,
    come.Iwi
    l
    ltakey
    out
    her
    e.”
    Hewal kedwithhertot heroom andopenedt he
    doorthenwal kedi
    n.MmagweEazi t
    earf
    ull
    y
    l
    ookedatherdaught erl y
    ingont hebed
    unconscious.Oti
    ewal kedov erandlookedat
    herface,hehadnev ercameacr ossabeauti
    ful
    womanl ikeherbeforebutt herewassomet hi
    ng
    aboutherthatmadehi sheartpound.
    “
    Whathappenedt
    oher
    ?”
    “
    Ont
    lasay
    sshewasmuggedandst
    abbed.
    ”
    Ot
    engl
    ookedatherf
    aceandst
    eppedback.
    “
    Okmama, Iam goi
    ngt
    ogetcabforyou,
    itwi
    ll
    t
    akeyout
    oherhouse.AndmaybeIshoul
    dtake
    y
    ournumber.
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Hetookhernumbert
    henwal
    kedoutbumoi
    ng
    i
    ntoanurse.
    “
    Hey
    ,thatl
    adyi
    nsi
    de,
    isshegoi
    ngt
    obef
    ine?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Nomuchdamagewasdone.
    ”
    Hesmil
    edasshef
    ail
    edt
    olookathi
    m.“
    Ok,
    your
    name?
    ”
    “
    Anna.
    ”
    “OkAnna,t
    akethis…”Hehandedherhi
    s
    busi
    nesscard.“
    Callmeassoonasshewakes
    upok?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    HewalkedawayasAnnalookedathim
    wonderi
    ngwheresuchamanwasmade.Hi s
    pr
    esencealonemadeherwet.Hercol
    legue
    wal
    kedov er
    .
    “
    Didy
    ouseet
    hatman?
    ”
    Annal
    aughed.“
    Iam wetdownt
    her
    e!Helooks
    unr
    eal
    .Iwouldl
    ethi
    mf uckmeont
    hisf
    loor.
    ”
    Hercol
    l
    eaguel
    aughed.“
    Youar
    ethi
    rst
    y.”
    “
    Hisvoi
    ceisuni
    que.Hi
    smot
    heri
    spr
    oud
    wher
    evershei
    s.”
    “
    Whatdi
    dhewant
    ?”
    “
    Hewantedtofi
    ndoutaboutt
    hebeaut
    if
    ull
    adyI
    wast
    alki
    ngabout
    .SheisAbe’
    swif
    e.TheeAbe.
    ”
    “NooffensebutAbeisa5comparedtot
    hat
    mant hatj
    ustwalkedout
    .Hel
    ooksli
    keDrake’
    s
    brot
    her.”
    “It
    houghtIwast
    heonlywhonoti
    ced.Ebi
    l
    ethe
    hai
    rcutandbear
    edarethesame.
    ”
    Theyl
    aughedwal
    ki
    ngwhi
    l
    echat
    ti
    ng.

    *
    **

    Atthepol
    icest
    ati
    on,
    Tsotlhewalkedinputti
    ng
    herphoneawayandstoodatthefrontdesk
    wit
    hapoundinghear
    t.Thepoli
    ceof f
    icerl
    ooked
    ather.
    "
    Dumel
    ang,
    howcanwehel
    pyou?
    "
    Sherubbedhersweat
    yhandstogether
    remi
    ndinghersel
    fwhyshewasdoingthis.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #68

    Shesighedstari
    ngatt hepol
    i
    ceoffi
    cer.“Iam
    hereaboutmyboy fri
    endwhowasshot .His
    namei sTinoTafi
    ra.Hewasshotlastnight.I
    thi
    nkImi ghtknowwhoshothi m.
    ”
    Thepol
    i
    ceof
    fi
    cerst
    oodup.“
    Comewi
    thme.
    ”
    Tsot
    lhef
    oll
    owedaf
    terhi
    mtoaoff
    icewher
    ea
    womansatpagi
    ngthr
    oughsomef
    iles.
    “
    Det
    ect
    ive,
    thi
    sladyhassomei
    nfor
    mat
    ion
    whi
    chmi
    ghthel
    p.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Thepoli
    ceoff
    icerwal
    kedoutasTsot
    lhewal
    ked
    fur
    theri
    nsi
    detheoffi
    ce.
    “MynameisTsotl
    he,
    IknowwhoshotTi
    no
    Taf
    ir
    a,ImeanIthi
    nkIknow.
    ”
    Thedet
    ect
    ivel
    eanedback.“
    Sit
    .”
    Tsot
    lhesatdownandputherbagonherl
    ap.
    “
    Whodoy
    out
    hinki
    tmi
    ghtbe?
    ”
    “
    Hisbr
    other
    .”
    Thedet
    ect
    iver
    aisedabr
    ow.“
    Hisbr
    other
    ?
    Why?”
    “
    BecauseTi
    nosl
    eptwi
    thhi
    sbr
    other
    ’swi
    fe.
    ”
    “
    Andhowdoy
    ounowt
    his?Cany
    oupr
    ove
    y
    our
    self
    ?”
    “Yes,Ti
    noi
    smyboy f
    ri
    end.Ifoundmessageson
    hisphonet
    henIt
    oldhisbrot
    her.Fr
    om t
    hereI
    l
    atert
    oldTi
    nolat
    eatni
    ghtwhatIhaddoneand
    heseemedtobepani
    cki
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Hisbr
    other
    ’swi
    fe’
    snamei
    s?”
    “
    Eazi
    .
    ”
    Thedet
    ect
    ivesmi
    l
    ed.“
    OkTsot
    lher
    ight
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Tsot l
    heyoudidt
    herightt
    hingcomingher
    e
    withthi
    sinf
    ormat
    ion.Weneedmor epeopl
    eli
    ke
    you.”
    “Iam j
    ustwor
    ri
    edaboutTino.Whati
    fhi
    s
    brot
    hergoesbackt
    ofini
    shhim of
    f?”
    Thedetect
    ivenodded.“Youareri
    ghtaboutthat
    .
    Iwil
    ltal
    ktomyt eam t
    ohav ehim secur
    ed.
    Thankyousomuch. ”
    Tsot
    lhest
    oodup.“
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Wai
    t,di
    dyouconf
    rontt
    hewi
    fet
    oo?Eazi
    .”
    “
    Yes,
    Idi
    dbutshehunguponmet
    henIsent
    heramessagewhi
    chshedi
    dn’
    trepl
    y.
    ”
    “
    Ok.ThanksTsot
    lhe.
    ”
    Tsot
    lhet
    urnedandwal
    kedout
    .
    Meanwhi
    lethedetect
    ivesmi
    l
    eddi
    ali
    nga
    number
    .“Detect
    ive…”
    “
    Ithi
    nkwehav
    eourman.
    ”
    “
    Hisl
    awy
    eri
    sher
    e.It
    hinky
    oushoul
    dcome.
    ”

    *
    **

    Li
    nawal
    kedi
    nsi
    dethei
    nter
    rogat
    ionr
    oom i
    nher
    smar
    tweart
    henl
    ookedatAbe.
    “
    Hey
    …di
    dyousayany
    thi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    No.Noty
    et.
    ”
    “Nothi
    ngisprovenyet
    ,theydon’thav
    eanythi
    ng
    sodon’tgi
    vethem anyt
    hing.Letmetalkt
    o
    them andseewhatcanbedone. ”
    “
    Ijustwantt
    oknowi
    fshei
    sok.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lfi
    ndout
    .”
    Shewal
    kedoutthensmil
    edst
    ari
    ngatt
    he
    det
    ect
    ive.“
    Oh,
    it’
    syou!
    ”
    Thedetect
    ivesmiled.“
    Ifi
    gur
    eyouar
    ethe
    suspect
    ’sl
    awy er
    .”
    Li
    nanodded.“
    Yes,howabouty
    ouletmycl
    i
    ent
    go?Whatareyouholdi
    nghi
    mfor?
    ”
    “
    Hei
    sasuspect
    .”
    “I
    t’
    sbeenhour
    sofi
    nter
    rogat
    ion,
    lethi
    m go.I
    don’
    twanttot
    akei
    tfar
    .Youhavenoev i
    dence.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sonl
    yamat
    teroft
    ime.
    ”
    “Youdon’thaverealevei
    dence.
    ”Linaleaned
    overt
    ot hedetecti
    ve.“
    Stoplooki
    ngf orfi
    re
    wherethereisnosmoke, i
    tlooksstupid.
    ”
    “
    Ihav
    eaf
    ewquest
    ionsf
    orhi
    m.”
    “
    Hei
    snotsay
    ingany
    thi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Hehasmot
    ive.
    ”
    Thedetect
    ivewal
    kedtowardst
    heint
    err
    ogat
    ion
    room andl
    ookedatAbe.Shesmil
    ed.
    “Abedile,Iknowy ouar enotabadguy .
    What everhappened, Iknowy oudidn’
    tmeani t
    .
    Itwasal lemotionswhi chl edt ounfort
    unat e
    eventst aki
    ngplace, j
    ustt ellusthetruth.Your
    wifewascheat ingwi thy ourbr other
    ,youl osti
    t
    andst abbedhert wice,leftheri nthebusht hen
    camef oryourbrother,shothi m oncethenl eft
    .
    Youhav etobehonestwi thme, Iam allfor
    j
    usticeandIknowy oudi dn’tmeant o.”
    “Don’tsayany
    thi
    ngAbe.Shehasnot
    hing.Just
    hearsays.
    ”
    Thedet
    ecti
    velookedatLi
    na.“
    Hei
    sgoi
    ngt
    ojai
    l
    i
    fhedoesn’
    t-
    “
    “Don’
    tteachmehowt odomyj ob.Youhave
    nothi
    ngagainstmycl
    ient
    ,eventhatst
    ory
    ,who
    hasprovenit
    ?Idon’
    twanttocauseascene.”
    Thedetect
    ivesi
    ghed.“
    OnelastchanceAbe…
    tel
    lmethetrut
    h.Youwill
    getalessersent
    ence.
    You-“
    “Don’
    tsayany
    thi
    ngAbe.Iam get
    ti
    ngy
    ououtof
    here.
    ”

    *
    **

    MmagweEazi watchedasthedoctorwalkedi
    n
    andcheckedafewthingsonherdaughter.
    “
    Howi
    sshe?
    ”
    “Ma,sheisfi
    ne.Youshouldgohome,shei
    s
    fi
    ne.Shewasnotst abbedt
    oodeep.She
    surv
    ivedall
    nightbecausei
    twasn’
    tadeep
    wound.Sheisgoingtobefine,
    shewil
    lonl
    y
    havescarsbutshewi l
    lbef
    ine.
    ”
    “
    Thenwhyi
    sshenotwaki
    ngup?
    ”
    “
    Shei
    sgoi
    ngt
    owakeup.Youdon’
    thav
    eto
    wor r
    ysomuch,theyt
    oldmeyourblood
    pressur
    eisup.Don’
    tbesoworr
    ied.Eazii
    s
    goingtobefi
    ne.”
    “
    Idon’
    twantt
    oleav
    eheral
    one.
    ”
    Thedoct
    orsmil
    ed.“
    Ok.Youcanst
    aywi
    thher
    .
    Haveyoueat
    en?”
    “
    No.Iam f
    ine.
    ”
    “No,
    Iam goi
    ngt
    oarr
    angeyougetsomef
    ood.I
    can’
    twat
    chyoudi
    eofhunger
    .”
    Thedoctorwalkedoutt
    henMmagweEazi hel
    d
    herdaught
    er’
    shand.Shelookedatherf
    aceand
    si
    ghedsadly.

    *
    **

    Otengparkedhi
    scarinfrontofhi
    scousin’
    s
    houseandsteppedout.Hiscousi
    nwalkedthen
    theyf
    istbumpedchuckli
    ng.
    “
    Bar
    ry!
    ”
    “
    Oti
    e,gat
    weoneoi
    l
    ekae?
    ”
    Ot
    engl
    aughed.“
    Bel
    i
    evewhatt
    heyt
    ell
    you.
    ”
    “
    Ihear
    dyouar
    esmuggl
    i
    ngweed.
    ”
    “Hearnoli
    es.Blackpeopl
    edon’
    twantt
    osee
    anyonesucceeding.
    ”
    Otengl
    eanedagai
    nsthi
    scarasBar
    ryshookhi
    s
    headwhist
    li
    ng.
    “
    You!
    ”
    “I
    ket
    lepel
    eMist
    er,
    someofofusar
    enot
    dest
    inedt
    obedegreehol
    der
    s.”
    “Remembert
    hatfr
    iendofy
    our
    swhoownst
    he
    Amusementpar
    k?”
    “Letmet el
    lyousomet hingBarry,i
    norderto
    makemoneyy ouhav etogot hroughsomer i
    sks,
    Iam tel
    li
    ngy ou,thatguybankedal otofmoney
    thanthattheytheyactuall
    ycaughtonhi m no
    wonderhekeepsget ti
    ngricher
    .”
    “
    Igi
    veup.Ihear
    dabouty
    ourmot
    her
    .”
    “Yeah,that’
    sthemainreasonIhav
    et opl
    ay
    closeby .Shedoesn’
    twanttogotothehospi
    tal
    .
    Can’tyouexami neher
    ?”
    “
    Yeahsur
    e.Icant
    akeadayof
    f.
    ”
    “Thanks,Iam worr
    iedabouther
    .It
    hinkher
    cancerisback.”
    “
    Doyouthi
    nksheisgoi
    ngt
    owantt
    ocont
    inue
    wi
    tht
    reat
    ment?”
    “No,butIam goi
    ngtotal
    ktoher.Thi
    sis
    str
    essingmeout.Ican’
    tfocuswhenIam
    worri
    edabouther.
    ”
    “
    Igety
    ou.Tomor
    rowIwi
    l
    ltakeadayof
    f.
    ”
    Acardrovei
    nhisyardthenOtengturnedand
    l
    ookedatatalll
    adystepout
    .Barrywalkedov er
    toherandhuggedherwhil
    eOtengreachedf or
    hisdr
    inki
    nsidehi
    scarandsippedstaring.
    Nothi
    ngreal
    lytowri
    tebackhomeabout .
    “
    Babe,meetmycousi
    n,Ot
    eng,
    Oti
    e,t
    hisi
    smy
    woman,Mapul
    a.”
    Otengsmil
    edandnodded.“
    Fort
    hef
    ir
    stt
    imehe
    wasn’tl
    yi
    ng.
    ”
    Mapulabl
    ushedlookingdownthenBar
    ryputhi
    s
    handonherwaist.“
    Iam coming.
    ”
    “
    Sur
    e!”
    Theywal
    kedinsi
    det
    hehousewhi
    l
    eOt
    engt
    ook
    outhi
    sri
    ngi
    ngphone.
    “
    Yah?
    ”
    “
    Hi,
    it’
    sthecab,
    shei
    sst
    il
    lnoty
    etout
    .”
    Ot
    engl
    ookedathi
    swat
    ch.“
    Til
    lnow?
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    Ihav
    ebeenwai
    ti
    ng.
    ”
    “
    No,
    it’
    scool
    .Iam pay
    ingy
    our
    ight
    ?”
    “
    Yes.Iwi
    l
    lkeepwai
    ti
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    HehungupasBar
    rywal
    kedov
    er.
    “
    Look,
    Ihav
    etogo.Wewi
    l
    ltal
    k.”
    “
    Yahsur
    e.”
    Ot
    enggoti
    nhi
    scart
    henr
    ever
    sedanddr
    oveof
    f.

    *
    **

    I
    nsi
    dethehouseMapulawatchedast he
    Mer
    cedesdroveoutt
    hensighed.Barr
    ywalked
    i
    nsi
    dethehouseandlookedather.
    “
    Hey
    ,Idi
    dn’
    tthi
    nky
    ouwer
    ecomi
    ng.
    ”
    Shesmil
    ed.“
    Iwasbor
    ed.Wast
    haty
    ourr
    eal
    cousi
    n?”
    “
    Yeah.Shoul
    dweor
    dersomet
    hing?
    ”
    “
    Icancook.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    theki
    tcheni
    sthi
    sway
    .”
    Mapulafoundher
    selfwant
    ingtoaskmore
    abouthi
    scousinbutthenf
    igur
    edthatwoul
    d
    makeherlookother
    wise.Bar
    rywashandsome,
    notl
    ikehi
    scousinofcause.Otengwastheki
    nd
    ofmanshewoul dn’
    tmindbeingfuckedby
    .He
    seemednaughtytooandincontrol
    .
    “Ok,ever
    ythi
    ngisher
    e.”Heputhisphoneonthe
    counterandopenedt
    hef r
    idge.“
    Andmoreis
    here.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Iam comi
    ng.
    ”
    HewalkedawaythenMapulal
    ookedathi
    s
    phonetr
    yingt
    ocontr
    olher
    self
    .

    *
    **

    Abewalkedoutoft
    hepol
    i
    cest
    ati
    onwi
    thLi
    na
    goi
    ngtohiscar.
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    “I
    t’
    sok,anyt
    ime.YouandIweref
    ri
    ends,
    way
    befor
    eanyone.Si
    ncefor
    m 1.
    ”
    Abechuckl
    ed.“
    Yeah,
    andy
    ouwer
    edump.
    ”
    “
    Lies!
    ”
    “
    Theyusedt
    obul
    l
    yyouev
    erychancet
    heygot
    .”
    “Yeah,wherearetheynow?Butyouaremyday
    oneandt hepastyearhasbeendif
    fi
    cul
    tforme,
    i
    tfeltli
    kewebr okeupandIdon’
    tblameyou
    afterwhathappened.”
    “
    That
    ’si
    nthepast
    .”
    “
    Fri
    ends?
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lthi
    nkabouti
    t.
    ”
    Li
    nal
    aughed.“
    Ok,by
    e!Rememebert
    ocomet
    o
    myof
    fi
    cetomorrow.
    ”
    “
    Yahsur
    e.”
    “
    Andoh,
    shei
    satBokamosoPr
    ivat
    eHospi
    tal
    .”
    Abesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Thanks.
    ”
    “
    Bye!
    ”
    Abegotinhi
    scarwhi
    leLinawal
    kedtohercar
    .
    Hestar
    tedhi
    scaranddrovetoBokamoso.

    *
    **

    AtBokamoso,
    Otengpaidt
    hecabdr
    iverwi
    tha
    coupl
    eofP200notes.
    “
    Thanky
    ousomuch.Shoul
    dIkeepwai
    ti
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Nah,
    youcanbounce.Thankst
    hough.
    ”
    “
    No,
    thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Otengsmi l
    edandwal kedinsidet hehospi
    talt
    o
    Eazi’
    sroom inthesecondf l
    oor .Heknocked
    gentl
    yandwal kedin.Helookedar oundbuther
    motherwasn’tinanymor ethoughherbagwas
    sti
    ll
    there.Hesighedandwal kedov ert
    oher.
    Shelookedsopeacef ulbutsomet hi
    ngtol
    dhim
    shewasnowher eclosetobei ngpeaceful.He
    sl
    owl
    yhel
    dherhandandsmi
    l
    ed.
    Hereyeball
    smov edabi
    tbefor
    esheopenedher
    eyesslowly
    .Hisheartpoundedashelooked
    ar
    oundt henturnedbacktoher.Shebl
    inked
    sl
    owlyandl ookedathim wi
    thherli
    ghtbrown
    eyes.
    “
    Hi…”
    Shecl
    osedherey
    esandopenedt
    hem agai
    n.
    “
    Ok,
    uhhdoy
    ouwantwat
    er?
    ”
    Hishear
    tbeatsohar
    dagai
    nsthi
    schestasshe
    cl
    osedhereyesagai
    n.Her
    ushedoutcal
    li
    ngfor
    someone.

    *
    **

    Iopenedmyey esf
    eel
    ingaheavyfogonme
    suppressi
    ngme.Thewhit
    ewallsgavemean
    i
    deaofwher eIwasaswhathappenedsl
    owl
    y
    playedinmyheadl i
    keamov eonslowmot i
    on.
    Theknife…thegun,ever
    ythi
    ng.Myheart
    skippedasIthoughtofTi
    nowonder i
    ngifAbe
    hadgot t
    entohim.Adoctorwalkedinand
    l
    ookedatme.
    “
    Oh,
    youar
    eback!Hi
    Eazi
    .”
    Amanstoodbesi
    dethedoctorst
    ari
    ngatme.
    Hesmi
    l
    edandwav ed.”
    HiEazi…”
    Il
    ookedathi
    mthenbackatt
    hedoct
    or.
    “Ok.Iam goi
    ngtocheckacoupl
    eoft
    hingst
    hen
    call
    thepoli
    ce.Theyneedt
    oknowwhat
    happenedtoyou.”
    Thedoct
    orexami
    nedmef oracoupleof
    minut
    esthensmi
    led.“Ev
    erythi
    ngisgood,your
    motheri
    ssti
    ll
    eat
    ing.Shewillbeher
    ejustnow.”
    Inoddedt
    henshewalkedoutl
    eav
    ingt
    heman
    wit
    hme.Hesmi l
    ed.
    “
    Iam gl
    ady
    ouar
    eawake,
    yourmot
    herhasbeen
    her
    esi
    nceshear
    ri
    ved.Shei
    swor
    ri
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Mama?
    ”
    “Yeah.Igaveherali
    ftandsi
    ncet
    henshehas
    beenmyr esponsi
    bil
    i
    ty.”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.Youcangonow,
    shewi
    l
    lbef
    ine.
    ”
    Het
    ookmyhandi
    ntohi
    s.“
    Iam Ot
    eng.
    ”
    ThedooropenedandAbewalkedin.Hel
    ooked
    atOt
    engthenatourhandst
    ouching.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #69

    Ipul
    l
    edmyhandawayasmyhear
    tpounded.
    Abewalkedinside,Ot
    englookedathi
    mt hen
    backatmepr obablyt
    ryi
    ngt of
    igur
    eoutwho
    Abewas.Abegl aredatOtengwhochuckled
    rubbi
    nghisbeard.Abelookedatme.
    “
    Who’
    sthi
    s?”
    Itookadeepbreat
    hasmyhear tpounded.The
    l
    asttimeIhadseenthismanwaswhenhewas
    stabbi
    ngmewhi l
    eIbeggedformylif
    e.Tears
    fi
    l
    ledmyey es,
    Otenglookedatmewor r
    iedl
    y.
    “
    Arey
    ouok?
    ”
    “
    Whywon’
    tshebeok?
    ”
    OtenglookedatAbewithadeepfrown.“
    Ihope
    youarenottal
    kingtome,youdon’
    tknowmeor
    whatIam capableof.Otl
    anyel
    a.”
    “
    Whodoy
    out
    hinky
    ouar
    e?”
    “Yourwor
    stnight
    mar
    e.”Otengtur
    nedbackt
    o
    meandwi pedawaymytears.“
    Areyouok
    Eazi?
    ”
    “
    Ng…”
    “
    Doy
    ouwantmet
    oki
    ckhi
    m out
    ?”
    Ibi
    tmyl owerl
    iptr
    yingtostopmyt earsbuti
    t
    wasli
    keIhadopenedat ap.Theykeptfl
    oati
    ng
    fal
    l
    ingtothehospi
    talsheets.
    “
    Sheismywi
    fe,
    youar
    etheonewhoshoul
    d
    l
    eav
    e!”
    “
    Pleaseleav
    e…Iam f
    ine.Goandcal
    lmy
    mother.
    ”
    Ot
    engl
    ookedatAbeandnodded.“
    Ok.
    ”
    Hewal
    kedoutt
    henAbel
    ookedatme.“
    Who
    wast
    hat?
    ”
    Myl
    ipstr
    embl
    ed.“
    Idon’
    tknow,
    hecamewi
    th
    mama.”
    “
    Youwer
    etouchi
    nghands,
    Isawt
    hat
    .”
    “
    Hej
    ustcameAbe.
    ”
    “
    Whyam If
    indi
    ngi
    thar
    dtobel
    i
    evey
    ou?
    ”
    Iputmyhandovermymouthcryi
    ngl
    oudl
    y.“
    I
    don’
    tknowhim.Ij
    ustwokeup.
    ”
    “Soyouhol
    dhandswi
    thpeopl
    eyoudon’
    t
    know?”
    “
    Idon’
    tknowhi
    m,Iswear
    .”
    Abesighed.“
    It
    ’sok,
    Ibel
    i
    evey
    ou.Iam sor
    ry
    babe.
    ”
    HehuggedmeasIsobbedwonderi
    ngwhat
    wouldhav
    ehappenedhadIdi
    ed.Hi
    sint
    ent
    ions
    weretoki
    llme.
    “
    Iam sor
    ry,
    itwi
    l
    lnev
    erhappenagai
    n.”
    Hesteppedbackawhi l
    elatert
    henhel
    dmy
    hands.“
    Ijustcouldn’
    tstomachthebet
    rayal
    .It
    coul
    dhav ebeenany oneelsenotmybrot
    her,
    notinmyhouse, onmybed. ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “Soam I.IguessIam notexact
    lyt
    hebest
    husbandoutt her
    e.Iam sohappyyouar
    eok,
    I
    st
    il
    lcan’
    tbel
    i
    veIal
    mostki
    l
    ledy
    ou.That
    ’snot
    me.”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.Doy
    ouwantt
    owal
    kawayf
    rom t
    his
    mar
    ri
    age?”
    “No.Iwanttof i
    xthings.ButIt
    hinkmay bewe
    needabr eak.Iam goingtomov eout.Iwas
    thi
    nkingofmov ingtothenewbr unchIwantto
    openi nKasane.”
    “
    Oh…y
    ouwantt
    omov
    eaway
    .”
    “
    Somespacewoul
    ddousgood.Giv
    eust
    imet
    o
    t
    hinki
    freal
    l
    ywewantt
    odothi
    s.”
    “
    Iunder
    stand.
    ”
    “
    Iwill
    expl
    aint
    oMalcever
    ythi
    ngbutf
    ornowI
    t
    hinkweneedsomespace.
    ”
    “
    Iunder
    stand.Wher
    eisMal
    c?”
    “
    Wit
    hTendai
    .”
    “
    Cany
    ouaskhi
    mtobr
    inghi
    m.”
    “
    Yeahofcause.
    ”
    Il
    ookedathim wanti
    ngtoaskaboutTino.The
    dooropenedandmymot herwal
    kedi
    n.She
    smil
    edandr ushedover
    .
    “
    Eazi
    !ThankGod…”
    “
    Mama…”
    “
    Iwassowor
    ri
    ed.Theset
    hiev
    esal
    mostki
    l
    led
    y
    ou.
    ”
    Il
    ookedatAbet
    henbackather
    .“Yeah.
    ”
    “
    Iwassowor
    ri
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Iam f
    ine.
    ”
    Shel
    ookedatAbe.“
    Son…”
    “
    Ma,
    howar
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Iam f
    inenow.
    ”
    “Ok,Iwi
    llgi
    vey
    ousomespacewhi
    l
    eIcal
    l
    Tendai.
    :”
    Heki
    ssedmyf
    oreheadt
    henwal
    kedoutwhi
    l
    e
    mamal
    ookedatme.
    “
    Whathappened?
    ”
    “
    Whatdi
    dtheysayhappened?
    ”
    “Thatyouweremugged.ThatyouandAbehad
    afight
    ,helef
    tforsomefreshai
    rthenwhenhe
    cameback, y
    ouwer enothome.
    ”
    Inodded.“
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Youhav
    emar
    ksal
    lov
    ery
    ourbody
    .”
    Il
    ookeddown.“
    Theyhar
    assedmet
    henst
    abbed
    me.”
    “Iknowy ouarelyingandIknowyouhadaf i
    ght
    withhimt hatendedinyougett
    ingstabbed.I
    knowIalway sencouragedyoutostaybutthis
    ti
    meIwanty outodowhat ’
    sbestforyou,
    what’sbestforyourson.Youcouldhavedied.”
    Ibli
    nkedawaymytear
    st hent
    hedooropened
    andthepoli
    cewal
    kedin.Iswal
    lowedhar
    d
    star
    ingatt
    hem.
    “HiEazi
    ,weapol
    ogi
    zef
    orcomi
    ngsol
    ateat
    night
    .”
    “
    It
    ’sok.
    ”
    “Youwanttot
    elluswhathappened?Someone
    alr
    eadyt
    oldusthetr
    uth,wejustneedyout
    o
    confi
    rmitt
    henwemaymakeanar r
    est
    .”
    Il
    ookedatt
    hepol
    iceof
    fi
    cerasmymother
    l
    ookedatmewit
    hencouragi
    ngey
    es.
    “Youdon’thavetobescared.Youaredoi
    ngthis
    foryour
    self,
    nextti
    mey ouwillact
    ual
    lydi
    eify
    ou
    keepprptect
    ingtheabuser.
    ”
    OnethingIknewwast hatAbewasnotan
    abuser,Ihadpushedhi
    mt oit
    .It
    ookadeep
    breat
    h.
    “
    Iwasmugged.
    ”

    *
    **
    Ot
    engsati
    nhi
    scaranswer
    inghi
    sri
    ngi
    ngphone.
    “
    Yah?
    ”
    “
    Hi,
    it’
    sMapul
    a.”
    “
    Who?
    ”
    “
    Mapul
    a.WemetatBar
    ry’
    shouse.
    ”
    “
    Oh,
    Bar
    ry’
    sgi
    rl
    fr
    iend.
    ”
    “
    Notexact
    ly.
    ”
    “
    HowcanIhel
    pyou?
    ”
    “UhIknowthi
    siski
    ndofoffbutBarr
    yhastol
    d
    meaboutyourbusi
    nessandIwaswonderi
    ngif
    ther
    ewasanyjobslot
    sforagraphi
    cdesi
    gner
    orwebmaster
    .”
    “
    Bar
    rygav
    eyoumynumbert
    ocal
    lme?
    ”
    “
    Notexact
    ly.
    ”
    “No,hedi
    dn’
    tgi
    veyoumynumber
    ,youmust
    havestol
    eni
    tfr
    om hi
    sphone.
    ”
    Mapul
    alaughed.“
    Ok,
    youcaughtme,
    Idi
    d.
    Tl
    her
    rawenakebat
    lat
    ir
    o.”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    ltal
    ktoBar
    ryi
    fther
    eissomet
    hing.
    ”
    “
    Ory
    oucanj
    ustcal
    lme.
    ”
    “
    Exact
    lywhydi
    dyoucal
    lme?
    ”
    “
    Huh?
    ”
    “
    Youhear
    dme.
    ”
    “
    Uhbecauseofaj
    ob?
    ”
    “Don’
    tplaydumb,i
    t’
    snotatt
    racti
    ve.Bar
    ryis
    cousi
    n,heismydayoneandt hereisnowayI
    am goi
    ngt ol
    ookathisgi
    rl
    fr
    iendli
    kethat.
    ”
    “
    Iam nothi
    sgi
    rl
    fr
    iend.
    ”
    “Youarenotmytype,
    ifyoudon’
    tli
    kemycousi
    n
    walkawayandgowhor esomewhereelse
    becauseIseei
    t’
    sinyournat
    ure.Losemy
    number.”
    Hehungupanddelet
    edhernumberthen
    st
    art
    edhi
    scar.Abepassedi
    nfrontofhi
    scar
    goingtohiswhil
    etal
    ki
    ngont hephone.Hegot
    i
    nhi scaranddroveof
    fthenOtengsathiscar
    forawhilethi
    nki
    ngandfinal
    l
    ysteppedoutand
    walkedbackinsi
    dethehospit
    al.

    *
    **

    Tendait
    ri
    edMapula’
    snumbert
    henhesmil
    edas
    i
    twentthroughwhi
    lehedr
    ovewit
    htheot
    her
    hand.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Heybabe,
    Iwantt
    otal
    ktoy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Tendai
    wehav
    enot
    hingt
    otal
    kabout
    .”
    “
    Look,Iknowyouar
    equesti
    oni
    ngmylov
    efor
    youandIdon’
    tbl
    ameyou.Youwantt
    oget
    marr
    iedandsodoI.
    ”
    “Iam ti
    redofwai
    ti
    ngar
    oundonempt
    y
    promises.”
    “Canyougvemeachance.Iam t
    alki
    ngt
    omy
    uncl
    esatthemoment
    .”
    “Pl
    usIwantt ohaveki
    dsandy oursit
    uat
    ionis
    compli
    cated.Idon’
    twantt
    hatsoIt hi
    nkit’
    sbest
    wejustgoourseparat
    eway s.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    ouser
    iousr
    ightnow?
    ”
    “
    Yes.It
    hinki
    t’
    sbesty
    ougoy
    ourwayandIgo
    myway.”
    “
    Mapul
    a-“
    Shehungupbef orehecouldsayanythi
    ngel
    se.
    Hesi ghedthenl
    ookedatMalcolm whowas
    seatedquietl
    yatthebackseat
    ,hehadbeen
    quietthewholeday.
    “
    Mal
    c,wear
    egoi
    ngt
    omommy
    .”
    “
    Youhav
    ebeensay
    ingt
    hatt
    hewhol
    eday
    .”
    “
    Iknowbutnowwear
    egoi
    ngt
    oseeher
    .”
    Hecal
    l
    edAbe.
    “
    Tendai
    ..
    ”
    “Icoul
    dn’
    twai
    tfory
    ou.Iam onmywayt
    o
    Bokamosowit
    hhim.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Whatdi
    dshesay
    ?”
    “
    Ihear
    dhertal
    ki
    ngtot
    hepoli
    ce,shei
    sst
    icki
    ng
    t
    othestor
    yofget
    ti
    ngmugged.”
    “
    ThankGod!Sowhatnow?
    ”
    “Idon’tknow,Ij
    usthopeTi norecoverswell.I
    don’tthi
    nkIstil
    lwanttokeept herelat
    ionship
    going.Idon’tt
    hinkEaziandIshouldhav e
    gottenmar r
    iedinthefi
    rstplace.
    ”
    “
    Buty
    oul
    oveher
    .”
    “
    Idi
    d,bef
    oreshesl
    eptwi
    thmybr
    other
    .”
    “
    Iam sorr
    y.Iknowhowthatfeel
    sbutIdon’
    t
    wantyouregr
    etti
    ngi
    nthenearfut
    ure.
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tknowbutIam mov
    ingaway
    .Iam goi
    ng
    tot
    akeSummerf
    rom AuntRoseandst
    aywi
    th
    her
    .”
    “
    WhataboutMalcol
    m?It’
    snotj
    usty
    ouandEazi
    ,
    t
    her
    eisachil
    dinvol
    ved.
    ”
    “It
    ’sherchi
    ld.I
    t’
    ssadthathei
    scaughti
    nthe
    crossfi
    rebutIdon’
    tthi
    nkIcanst
    il
    ll
    ookatEazi
    thesamewayaf t
    ert
    his.I
    t’
    shar
    dforme.”
    “
    Igety
    ou.Wewi
    l
    ltal
    k.”
    “
    Shar
    p.”
    Mi
    nut
    eslat
    erhewaswal
    ki
    ngi
    nsi
    det
    hehospi
    tal
    wi
    thMal
    col
    m.

    *
    **

    Mamalookedatme.“
    Ihav
    etot
    ell
    you
    somet
    hing.
    ”
    “
    Can’
    tyout
    ell
    met
    omor
    row?Ot
    engi
    sout
    side
    andIam sohappyheissuchagoodguy .He
    hasbeenbyyoursidet
    hroughoutt
    hedayand
    hehasevenoffer
    edtodropyouoffatt
    helodge.
    Justgowit
    hhim,wewi l
    ltal
    ktomorr
    ow.”
    “No,Ihav
    etot el
    lyounoworelseImightnev
    er
    havethechance.It
    ’sabouty
    ourfat
    her.
    ”
    Ipausedandst
    aredather
    .“Whati
    sit
    ?”
    “ImetyourfatherwhenIwasst i
    llyoungt hen
    hadOnt l
    a.Yourf atherusedt owor kinthemi ne
    soIwoul dseehi m onceawhi le.Whenhel eft,
    I
    usedtowor kfort hisothermanandt hings
    happened.Ihadanaf f
    airwi ththisman.Your
    fat
    hercamebackamont hl aterthenr eturned.
    Twomont hsl
    aterIf oundoutIwaspr egnant .
    Andthenawhi l
    el ateryouwer ebor n.Your
    fat
    hercamebackandf rom t hefirstglance, he
    knewy ouwerenothi sbecauseoft herumor s
    hehadbeenhear ing.Itriedl yi
    ngbutIev ent ual
    ly
    tol
    dhimt hetr
    ut h.Heaccept edy ouandr aised
    youashisownbutourl iv eswer enev ert he
    sameagai
    n.”
    Il
    ookedatherbl
    ankl
    y.
    “
    Iam sor
    rybuty
    oudeser
    vet
    oknowt
    het
    rut
    h.”
    “Soal
    ltheseyear
    s….YouhatedmebecauseI
    am aresul
    tofyourcheat
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Eazi
    …”
    “
    Youabusedme,y
    ouhatedmeandIal
    way
    s
    wonder
    edwhy,
    isthi
    sther
    eason?
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “Ican’
    tbeli
    evet hi
    s.”Ismil
    edsadl
    y.“
    Ican’t
    beli
    eveyouhat edmebecausey oucheated.I
    s
    thatwhyInevergotany thi
    ngwhenpapadi ed
    butOntlagottheplot.”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    Atearr
    andownmycheekt
    henInodded.“
    You
    cango.
    ”
    “
    Eazi
    ,mychi
    l
    dfor
    giv
    eme.
    ”
    “
    Ther
    eisnot
    hingt
    ofor
    giv
    e.Ot
    eng!
    ”
    Hewal
    kedi
    n.“
    Yeah?
    ”
    “Thankyousomuchf orally
    ouhav edonefor
    mymot hertoday.Iam goingtopayyou,Iknow
    youdon’twantmoneybutIam goi ngtopayy ou.
    Justdropheroffatthelodge.Thankyou.
    Mama, bye.Iwil
    lOnt l
    atogiveyoumoneyso
    youcangobackt oMaunt omorrow.”
    Shelookedatmewi t
    htearsi
    nherey est
    hen
    walkedout.Otenglookedatherthenatme.He
    cl
    osedt hedooroncemymot herwasoutthen
    helookedrighti
    ntomyey es.
    “
    Youar
    easadhumanbei
    ng.
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    edwi
    pingawayaway
    war
    dtear
    .“Yeah.
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tknowyouandIshoul
    dn’
    tcar
    ebutwi
    l
    l
    y
    oubefineal
    one?
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lbef
    ine.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    bye.
    ”
    Hewal kedoutasIputmyhandsov ermyface
    cr
    ying.Secondslat
    erthedooropenedandhe
    l
    ookedatmecr y
    ing.
    “
    Iam comi
    ngback.
    ”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #70

    Iwipedawaymyt ear
    sandtookadeepbreat
    h.
    ThedooropenedagainandTendai
    walkedin
    fol
    l
    owedbyMal colm.
    “
    Mama!”Hescr
    eamedr
    unni
    ngov
    ert
    hen
    j
    umpedonme.
    “
    Hey
    !”
    Helookedatmewithtearsi
    nhisey
    es.“
    I
    missedyou.Wher
    edidy ougo?
    ”
    “
    Igotsi
    ck.ButIam f
    inenow.
    ”
    Hehuggedmeburyi
    nghi
    sheadont
    heholl
    ow
    ofmyshoul
    der
    .“Don’
    tev
    erl
    eavemeagai
    n.”
    “
    Iwon’
    t.Iwi
    l
    lnev
    erl
    eav
    eyou.
    ”
    Tendail
    ookedatme.“
    Ibr
    oughthi
    m sohecan
    seeyou,hehasbeenr
    est
    less.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lwai
    tforhi
    m.”
    “
    Iwantt
    ost
    aywi
    thy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’st
    hehospi
    tal
    Mal
    c,y
    oucan’
    tst
    ayher
    e.”
    “
    Yousaidy ouwon’
    tleav
    eme.Idon’
    twantt
    ogo
    wi
    thoutyou.”
    Tendai
    lookedatme.
    “
    Shoul
    dIwai
    t?”
    Inoddedt
    henhewal
    kedoutwhi
    l
    eIhel
    d
    Malcol
    minmyar ms.Ilookedatt
    heclockon
    thewal
    lwonderi
    ngjusthowlongitwouldt
    ake
    himtofal
    lasl
    eep.
    “Mal
    c,don’
    tyouwanttogotodaddy
    ?Youwi
    l
    l
    comebackwithhi
    mt omorr
    ow.”
    Hel
    ookedatme.“
    Hewon’
    tletmecome.
    ”
    “
    Hewil
    l,
    Ipromisehewi
    l
    l.Youcan’
    tst
    ayher
    e,
    t
    her
    eisnospace.”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lsl
    eepont
    hecouch.
    ”
    Isi
    gheddef
    eat
    ed.

    *
    **

    Ginafinisheddecoratingthecaket henstepped
    backimpr essedwi t
    hherwor k.Shepaused
    feel
    ingt heti
    nyv i
    brat
    ionsi nherstomach.She
    tookadeepbr eathclosingherey est r
    yingto
    fi
    ghtof fthedizzyspell.Aminutel atershesat
    downont hecouchtr
    yingt
    othi
    nkifi
    twas
    possi
    ble.Herphoner
    angthensheanswer
    ed.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Hey,
    Imanagedt
    ofi
    ndt
    hatmov
    iewewat
    ched
    backthen.
    ”
    “
    Oh?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Iam onmywayt
    her
    e.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hehungupthenshet ookherphoneandwent
    ongoogl
    e.Shereadthroughtheresul
    tsi
    n
    conf
    usi
    onandfinal
    lycall
    edMy kel
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Mykel
    ,i
    t’
    sme.
    ”
    “
    Didn’
    tIt
    ell
    younott
    ocal
    lme?
    ”
    “
    Ithi
    nkIam pr
    egnant
    .”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Ithi
    nkIam pr
    egnant
    .”
    “
    Aren’
    tyout
    oool
    dtogetpr
    egnant
    ?”
    “
    Ithi
    nkIam pr
    egnant
    .”
    “That’
    simpossibl
    e.Youaretoool
    dforthat
    .Go
    tothehospit
    alandcheck,i
    fyouarewhichI
    highl
    ydoubt,youaregoi
    ngtoaborti
    t.Mywife
    i
    spr egnant
    .”
    “
    Ist
    hatal
    lyouar
    egoi
    ngt
    osay
    ?”
    “
    Whatelsedoyouwantfr
    om me?Iam a
    marr
    iedman.Youaregoi
    ngt
    ohavetogetr
    idof
    i
    tify
    ouarepregnant
    .”
    “MykelIdon’
    twanttogetcompl icat
    ions.Iam
    notl
    iketheyoungst
    erswher eyoucanj ustabor
    t
    andyourli
    fegoesonl i
    kenot hi
    nghappened.I
    mighthaveaheartproblem andIdon’twant
    anyt
    hingtotr
    iggeri
    t.
    ”
    “
    Soy oudidthi
    sonpurpose?Ifyoudon’tabor
    t
    t
    hendon’tbri
    ngthatchil
    dtome.Iam notgoing
    t
    obeapar tofthatchi
    ld’
    sli
    febecauseIam
    t
    ell
    i
    ngy outoabortandyouarerefusi
    ng.”
    Hedroppedt
    hecallt
    henshel
    ookedather
    phonewit
    hherhandonherst
    omach.

    *
    **

    Bi
    nalookedt
    hroughherbusi
    nesspl
    ant
    hen
    smil
    ed.
    “
    Ulaal
    aa!TsenawenaBi
    nas!
    ”
    Sher
    eadt
    hroughwi
    thahugesmi
    l
    eandnodded.
    “
    BinaBeaut
    yPar
    lor
    .”
    Shesippedherorangej
    uicethencr
    osschecked
    acoupleofthi
    ngs.Herphonerangjustasshe
    savedthedocumentandclosedherlaptop.
    “
    Yes?
    ”
    “
    Soy
    out
    hinky
    ouwonmybr
    other
    ’smoney
    ?”
    “
    Don’
    tyougett
    ir
    ed?
    ”
    “
    Youar
    egoi
    ngt
    oregr
    ett
    his.Thet
    radi
    ti
    onal
    heal
    ert
    oldusi
    t’
    sonl
    yamat
    teri
    fti
    me.
    ”
    “
    Wow!Soy
    ouwentt
    obewi
    tchme.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    egoi
    ngt
    oregr
    eti
    t.
    ”
    “
    Youneedhol
    ywat
    er,
    somet
    hingi
    swr
    ongwi
    th
    y
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Wai
    tandwat
    ch.
    ”
    Binahungupstaringherphonewi t
    hapoundi ng
    heartwonder
    ingiftheyhadreall
    ybewi t
    chedher
    thoughshewouldn’tbesurpr
    isediftheydid.
    Shethoughtf
    ull
    ycalledhermother.
    “
    Bina…”
    “
    Mama, doyoust
    il
    lhav
    ethehol
    yoi
    lyougot
    f
    rom t
    hatchur
    ch?”
    “
    Ithoughty
    oudi
    dn’
    tbel
    i
    evei
    nthoset
    hings.
    ”
    “Iwantit
    .Moemedi’
    ssi
    sterwenttoat
    radi
    ti
    onal
    heal
    er.Iam comi
    ngtocoll
    ecti
    ttomor
    row.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    buty
    ouneedt
    opr
    ay.
    ”
    “
    Iam goi
    ngt
    ost
    artnow.Backt
    othesender
    !”
    “
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    lseey
    ou.
    ”
    Shehungupandl ookedaroundthehouset
    hen
    wentforherbi
    bleinthebedroom.

    *
    **

    Tendaigent
    lyt
    ookMal
    col
    m andhel
    dhi
    minhi
    s
    hands.
    “
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    ldr
    ophi
    m of
    fatAbe’
    s.
    ”
    “Justkeephi
    m atyourhouse,It
    hinkIwi
    l
    lbe
    dischar
    gedtomorr
    ow, youcanbri
    nghimint
    he
    mor ni
    ng.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ousomuch.
    ”
    Hewalkedoutwit
    hhi
    m asIsi
    ghedrel
    i
    eved.
    Minut
    eslat
    er,
    Otengwal
    kedinandnowwitha
    di
    ff
    erentt
    -shi
    rt
    .
    “
    Wannasi
    tout
    side?
    ”
    Il
    ookedathi
    mthenhewal
    kedov
    erandt
    ook
    myhand.
    “
    Come…”
    Hetookmyhandandledmeout
    sidet
    owher
    e
    hiscarwaspar
    ked.Het
    hent
    ookouta
    campchair
    .
    “
    Youcanseat
    .”
    Isl
    owl
    ysatdownandl
    ookedatt
    hest
    ars.
    “
    Whydi
    dhest
    aby
    ou?
    ”
    “
    Huh?
    ”
    “
    Whydi
    dhest
    aby
    ou?
    ”
    “
    Who?
    ”
    “Yourhusband.YouknowwhatIam t
    alki
    ng
    about.
    ”
    “
    Hedi
    dn’
    tst
    abme.
    ”
    “
    Iknowal
    i
    ewhenIhearone,
    Ihat
    eli
    es.
    ”
    “
    Ist
    hatwhyy
    oubr
    oughtmeher
    e?”
    “
    Youneedcompany
    .Whydi
    dhest
    aby
    ou?
    ”
    Isi
    ghed.“
    Idi
    dsomet
    hingbad.
    ”
    “Thatdoesn’tgi
    vehimther
    ighttotryt
    okil
    lyou.
    Youcoul dhavebeendeadandtheywouldhave
    buri
    edy ou.Peopl
    ewouldhaveforgott
    enyou
    andev er
    yone’sl
    ifewoul
    dhavemov edon.
    ”
    “
    Hewasangr
    y.”
    Hetookhi
    sci
    gar
    ett
    eandl
    i
    ght
    edi
    tup.“
    I
    smoke.
    ”
    Heblewt hesmokeintheairandsmil
    ed.“Why
    i
    sy ournameisEazi
    ?It’
    slikeyouar
    ejusteasy
    .
    That’
    stheworstnameany onecanevergi
    veto
    thei
    rchil
    d.Whocall
    stheirki
    dsEazi
    ?Iwouldn’
    t
    namemyenemy ’
    schil
    dthat.”
    “
    Ify
    ouhat
    ethatchi
    l
    dIam sur
    eyouwoul
    d.”
    “
    Yourmot
    her
    -“
    “Shehat
    esmethatone.Shewi
    shesshenever
    hadme.Shet
    ri
    edabortingmebuti
    tnever
    worked.
    ”
    “
    Whot
    oldy
    out
    hat
    ?”
    “Shedi d.Ialway syearnedf orherl ovegrowing
    upbutshehat edmesomuchIt houghtmay beI
    wasn’ therreal chi
    ld.Shewoul dinsultmeorcal l
    menames.Shewoul dst ar
    vemesomet imes.I
    coul dgot oschool lookinglikeIst ayunderthe
    bridgeandnobodywoul dcar e.Iwoul dlooklike
    ast reetkidandshewoul dn’
    tcar e.Shehated
    met hatmuchsoIam notsur pr isedmeshe
    calledmeEazi .Imean, shecoul dhav ecall
    ed
    meany thingbutEazi .Shehat edmesomuchI
    woul dnev erforgethowIwasmol estedandshe
    didn’tcare.Iwasst i
    llachil
    dbutnowI
    under stand.Allthi
    sy earsIwasdeni althi
    nki
    ng
    myownf atherwoul dnev er…hewoul dneverbut
    i
    thappenedandnowIunder st andwhy .
    BecauseIwasnev erhi schild.Iwast hechil
    d
    thatwasar esul
    tofinfidel
    itysoitwaseasyfor
    himt otouchmei nappropri
    atel
    y .Iwasonlyf
    ive
    butIremembert hatnight.Imightforget
    everythi
    ngel sebutIremembert hatnight
    .He
    neverdidt hattoOntla.
    ”Tear srandownmy
    cheekst henIlookedup.“ Iwasal ways
    diff
    erent.”
    “Yourmot
    her
    …thesamewomanwhowas
    here?”
    “Yes.Thatone.What?Shedoesn’
    tlookl
    i
    kethe
    typetobesocr uel
    ?Ohyeah…moneychanges
    people.
    ”
    Hepuffedoutsmoke.“
    Soy
    ouhav
    eachi
    l
    dwi
    th
    t
    hishusbandofyour
    s?”
    Ishookmyhead.“ No.Ihav
    emysonfr
    om t
    he
    otherr
    elat
    ionshi
    p.HisnameisMal
    col
    m.You
    missedhim.”
    “
    Whendi
    dyoumeett
    hishusbandofy
    our
    s?”
    Il
    ookedathi
    mthent
    oldhi
    m ev
    ery
    thi
    ng,
    from
    MoemeditoAbet
    henhi
    scheat
    ingandourl
    ate
    daught
    ert
    il
    lTi
    no.
    “
    What
    ?Yousl
    eptwi
    thhi
    sbr
    other
    ?”
    “
    That
    ’swhyhest
    abbedme.
    ”
    “Hecheatonyou,pr
    obabl
    ytwice.Maybeeven
    kidnappedhi
    sownchil
    dandseesherinsecret
    l
    ikehewasseeingSpri
    nginsecret
    .”
    “
    Summer
    .”
    “Yeah,
    Summer .Iam tel
    l
    ingyou,heknows
    wherehischil
    dis,
    thereisnofat
    herwhowould
    besorelaxedabouti
    t.Heknowswhat ’
    sgoing
    on.”
    “
    Idon’
    tknow.
    ”
    “
    Butyouwenttoofarandyeah,
    Iam agai
    nst
    v
    iol
    enceandshitbutyouwentt
    oofar.
    ”
    “
    IknowandIr egr
    eti
    t.Iam notgoi
    ngtodeny
    t
    hatwhatIdidwaswr ong,
    ifIcoul
    d,Iwoul
    d
    t
    akeitback.
    ”
    Helookedatmeforawhil
    e.“Seemsli
    ke
    r
    elat
    ionshi
    psar
    enotyourthi
    ng,whydon’
    tyou
    j
    ustquit
    ?”
    “
    Iam mar
    ri
    ed.
    ”
    “Exactl
    yandy ourhusbandal mostkil
    ledy ou.He
    wasgoi ngt ogot ojail
    .Whowoul dhav et aken
    careofy ourson?Yourmot herwhohat esyou?
    Youneedat i
    meout .Puty ourenergyi ntoy our
    chil
    dandmaki ngmoney .Leav erel
    ati
    onshi ps
    forawhi l
    e.Iwoul dn’twantt odateabr oken
    woman, youwi ll
    annoymeast imegoesont hen
    Iwillhur
    ty ou.Justlikey ourhusbanddi d.When
    youleftMal colm’sfather,y oushouldhav e
    takenabr eak.Fixyour selfnotwai ti
    ngt obe
    fi
    xedbyanot herman.Todayher ui
    nedwhathe
    fi
    xedandy ouar ebackt osquar eone.I
    personall
    ydon’ tdobr okenwomen.Iam not
    goingtopayf oranotherman’ ssins.
    ”
    “
    Whyar
    eyousi
    ngl
    e?”
    “
    Andwhosai
    dIam si
    ngl
    e?”
    “Youl
    ooksi
    ngle.Noonehascal
    ledyouandy
    ou
    havebeenr
    unningaf
    termymothert
    hewhole
    day.
    ”
    Het
    hrewhi
    sci
    garet
    tedown.“Ibr
    okeupwi
    th
    mybabymamatwoyearsback.
    ”
    “
    Howmanyki
    dsdoy
    ouhav
    e?”
    “
    One.
    ”
    “
    Whathappenedbet
    weeny
    ouandt
    hebaby
    mama?”
    “Shewascheat i
    ngandIdeci
    dedtowalkaway.
    Sometimesy ou’
    vegottol
    earnt
    owal kawayon
    yourown.Wheni t’
    snotwort
    hit
    ,it
    ’snotwor
    thi
    t,
    youcan’tf
    orceit.
    ”

    *
    **
    Mapulawalkedinsideheroff
    icethefol
    l
    owi ng
    morni
    ngandsatdown.Shet ookouthersmal l
    mir
    rorandlookedatherselfonhersmal l
    mi r
    ror
    wonderi
    ngisshewasugl y.Oteng’swordswer e
    st
    il
    lri
    nginginherheadandshewonder edi fhe
    wasgoingtotellBarr
    y.
    Herdooropenedt
    henTendai
    wal
    kedi
    nand
    l
    ookedather.
    “
    Mor
    ning…”
    Shesatupri
    ghtsuspect
    inghewaspr
    obabl
    y
    goi
    ngtofir
    eher.“Goodmorning.
    ”
    “Iunderst
    andwhyy ouwantt obr
    eakupandit’
    s
    fi
    ne.Iam notgoingtoletourper
    sonali
    ssues
    affectusatwork.Ihopeyouareablet
    okeep
    professi
    onal
    .That’sal
    l.
    ”
    Hewal
    kedoutofherof
    fi
    cel
    eav
    inghershocked.

    *
    **
    Aftervisi
    ti
    ngt hepharmacy ,Ginalookedatt he
    pregnancytestwi thapoundi nghear t
    .Twol i
    nes
    sl
    owl yemer ged,sheclosedherey eswithher
    handsonherf ace.Reali
    tyslowl ysett
    ledinas
    shelookedatt hepregnancyt estwit
    hal otof
    questionsinhermi nd.
    “
    Godno….
    ”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #71

    Atthehospit
    al,
    thedoct
    orhandedmemy
    di
    schargeformsasIcombedmyhair
    .
    “
    Staysaf
    e.”
    “
    Thanks.By
    e.”
    Ont
    lamet
    siwal
    kedi
    nandl
    ookedatme.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    Ismil
    edthenshewal
    kedov
    erandhuggedme.
    “Idr
    oveall
    night
    .”
    “
    Thanky
    ouf
    orcomi
    ngt
    houghIam f
    inenow.
    ”
    “
    Whathappened?
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    ltel
    lyou,
    Mal
    c,l
    et’
    sgo.
    ”
    “
    Mama,
    wear
    egoi
    nghome?
    "
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Wewal kedoutthenanicef
    ancycarstoppedi
    n
    fr
    ontofuswhilethedri
    verr
    oll
    eddownhi s
    window.Ismil
    edstari
    ngatOteng.Iwavedat
    hi
    mt henhewav edback.
    “
    Wantal
    i
    ft?
    ”
    “
    No,
    mysi
    sterhasacarbutt
    hanks.
    ”
    “
    Ok!
    ”
    Hedr
    oveof
    fleav
    ingOnt
    last
    ari
    ngatme.
    “
    Who’
    sthat
    ?”
    “
    Themanwhogav ey
    ourmotherandl
    i
    ft
    yest
    erdayandwasst
    uckwi
    thherthewhol
    eday
    .
    Heisnice.
    ”
    “
    Wit
    hal
    lthoset
    att
    oos?
    ”
    Il
    aughedsurpri
    sed.“Yes,
    heisver
    yni
    ceand
    fr
    iendly
    .Thosetat
    toosdoesn’
    tmakehi
    ma
    vi
    llai
    n.”
    Wegotinhercart
    henMal
    col
    mjumpedatt
    he
    back.
    “
    Whodi
    dyoul
    eav
    etheki
    dswi
    th?
    ”
    Ont
    lametsist
    art
    edthecaranddr
    oveoff.
    “Mmoloki
    ’smother
    ,thei
    rgr
    andmother
    .”
    “
    Won’
    thet
    ryany
    thi
    ngf
    unnywi
    tht
    hem?
    ”
    “
    Hewoul
    dn’
    tdr
    eam ofi
    t.
    ”Shel
    ookedatme.
    “
    Mamat
    oldme.
    ”
    “
    Real
    l
    y?”
    “
    Yes,
    Iam equal
    l
    yasmad.
    ”
    “I
    sn’titfunnyhowy ourfatherl
    ov edmeso
    muchandwasal way sbymysi de?It houghthe
    wast heonl yonewhocar edtopr otectme
    againsty ourmother.Ir
    eallyf
    eltav oidwhenhe
    di
    edbecausei tmademewonderwher eIam
    goingt ogetacaringandlov i
    ngdad. ”
    “
    Hel
    ovedy
    ou.
    ”
    Ilookedatherr
    eali
    zingshedi
    dn’
    tknowmost
    thingsandsmil
    ed.“Yes.
    ”
    “Don’tl
    etmamapullyoudown.Sheisasad
    woman, nowyouseewhyIwoul dneverfor
    giv
    e
    herforall
    shedi
    dright
    ?Ibeli
    veinhol
    ding
    grudgesandrev
    enge,Iwi
    llheal
    inhel
    l.”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Youar
    ecr
    azy
    .”
    “
    Idon’
    tfor
    giv
    ebul
    l
    shi
    t.
    ”
    “
    Wow!
    ”
    “Yes.Iwillbr
    eatheinthr
    ought
    hewoundti
    l
    lIdi
    e,
    Idon'tcare,whatIknowisIwontf
    orgv
    e
    bull
    shit.
    ”
    “
    Ijustwantt
    ofocusonwor
    k.”
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngonbet
    weeny
    ouandAbe?
    ”
    “
    Wearetaki
    ngabr
    eak.Heismov
    ingt
    oKasane
    t
    oopenhisnewbr
    unch.”
    “
    Wow,
    that
    ’ssof
    ar.
    ”
    “
    IknowbutIt
    hinkweneedi
    t.
    ”
    “
    Ify
    ousayso.
    ”
    Minut
    esl
    atersheparkedbesi
    demycart henwe
    st
    eppedoutandwalkedinsi
    dethehouse.
    “
    Hey
    ,si
    t,Iam comi
    ng.
    ”
    Iwal
    kedt
    othebedr
    oom wher
    eIf
    oundAbe
    cl
    osi
    nghi
    sbag.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    Heturnedtomeandsmi l
    ed.“Hey,Ij
    ustthought
    Iwouldmov eassoonaspossibl
    e,gettheball
    rol
    l
    ingthatsi
    de.”
    “
    Ok.Youwer
    egoi
    ngt
    ocomeandseeme?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Iam sor
    ryIcoul
    dn’
    tletMal
    csl
    eepher
    e
    l
    astni
    ght,
    Iwasn’ti
    ngoodspace.
    ”
    “
    Iunder
    stand.
    ”
    Hel
    ookedatme.“
    Howar
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lbef
    ine.
    ”
    “
    Ok.Il
    ovey
    ou.
    ”
    Inodded.“
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    Hedr
    aggedhi
    sbagsoutwhi
    l
    eIf
    oll
    owedaf
    ter
    hi
    m.
    “
    Daddy
    !”
    HepickedMalcupandputhi
    m downbef
    ore
    cr
    ouchingbef
    orehi
    m.“Heyson…”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    ewegoi
    ng?
    ”
    Abesmiled.“
    Daddyi
    sgoingtoopenanot
    her
    busi
    nessfarawaybutIwi
    llal
    wayscometovisi
    t
    youandmommyory ouguyscomingt
    ovisi
    t.
    ”
    “
    Whycan’
    tweal
    lst
    ayt
    oget
    herl
    i
    kear
    eal
    f
    ami
    ly
    ?”
    Abelaughed.“Becauseweneedt
    omakemoney.
    Wewi l
    lstaytogether
    .Beagoodboyandt
    ake
    car
    eofmommy .”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    l.
    ”
    “
    HiOnt
    lamet
    si.
    ”
    Ont
    lasmi
    l
    ed.“
    Abe.
    ”
    “
    Seey
    ouar
    ound.
    ”
    Hewal
    kedout
    sidewi
    thmebehi
    ndhi
    m.
    “
    Abe…”
    Hel
    ookedatme.“
    Yeah?
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry,
    Ireal
    l
    yam.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok,
    Ist
    art
    edi
    tbycheat
    ingandl
    yi
    ngt
    oyou.
    ”
    “
    Iam r
    eal
    l
    ysor
    ry.
    ”
    Hegoti
    nhiscar.“
    Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lyou.Byt
    heway
    ,
    Ti
    noisawake.
    ”
    Il
    ookedathi
    m conf
    usedandwat
    chedhi
    scar
    dr
    iveof
    f.

    *
    **

    Abeputonhi
    sseat
    beltdr
    ivi
    ngt
    hengr
    abbedhi
    s
    phoneandt
    appedanumber.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Hi
    ,ar
    eyouthel
    adyIspoketoconcer
    ningmy
    booki
    ngsatt
    hehot
    elinKasane?”
    “Yes.Luckyf
    oryou,t
    her
    ehasbeenanopeni
    ng
    soy oucancome.”
    “
    Thanky
    ou,
    what
    ’sy
    ourname?
    ”
    “
    Sadi
    .”
    “OkSadi
    ,Iam alsol
    ooki
    ngforahouset
    her
    e,i
    f
    youhearany
    thinghowaboutyougi
    vemea
    cal
    l.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    ouser
    ious?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Wellt
    her
    eisahouse,
    myf
    ri
    endandIar
    e
    mov
    ingoutofi
    t.
    ”
    “
    Why
    ?”
    “Theot herper sonweshar edwithmov edoutso
    i
    t’sal i
    ttl
    ebi texoensiveforus.Butit’
    sa
    beautifulhouse.Youwi l
    lloveit
    .Ithasa
    screenwal l
    ,electri
    cgate,ahugesi tti
    ngroom,a
    kit
    chent odi ef or
    ,all
    fit
    tedandwhi t
    e,two
    bedrooms, bigwithensuites,anotherbathr
    oom
    andt oi
    letandani cebackdoorv eranda.”
    Abelaughed.“
    Yourmar
    ket
    ingski
    l
    lsar
    etop
    not
    ch.”
    “
    Thanky
    ou,
    canIsav
    eyournumberandgi
    ve
    y
    ouacal
    lony
    ourphone?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Andyes,cant
    hehousebemorechi
    ld
    f
    ri
    endl
    y,Ihaveadaught
    er,
    shei
    syoung.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    egoi
    ngt
    olov
    ethatpl
    ace,
    trustme.
    ”
    “
    Ok…”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Hehungupandsmiledsteppingmoreont
    he
    accel
    erat
    orl
    eav
    ingever
    ythingbehi
    nd.

    *
    **

    Tsot
    lhewal
    kedi
    nsi
    det
    hehospi
    tal
    room and
    l
    ookedatTi
    no.
    “
    Heybabe…”
    Helookedatherputt
    inghi
    sphonedown.“
    What
    di
    dy outel
    lthepol
    i
    ce? ”
    “
    Whathappened.Youal
    mostdi
    ed!
    ”
    “
    Arey
    ouki
    ddi
    ngme?
    ”
    “
    Iwaswor
    ri
    edabouty
    ou.
    ”
    “Andy oudecidedtocr
    eatemor
    edamage.
    ”He
    groanedtryi
    ngt osi
    tupri
    ght
    .
    “
    Iwasdoingi
    tforyou,
    hecoul
    dhav
    ecomeand
    f
    ini
    shedy
    ouoff.”
    ‘
    Whatmakesy
    ousosur
    eitwasmybr
    other
    ?”
    Tsot
    lhel
    ookedathi
    m.“
    Itwasn’
    t?”
    “
    No,
    itwasn’
    t.Idon’
    tev
    enknowwhoi
    twas.
    ”
    “
    Oh,It
    houghti
    twashi
    m especi
    all
    yaf
    terhe
    f
    oundout
    .”
    “
    Igguessthi
    sisal
    essonIshoul
    dlear
    n,next
    t
    imeIshouldpl
    ayf
    arawayfrom ki
    ds.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry,
    IthoughtIwasdoi
    ngt
    her
    ight
    t
    hing.
    ”
    “
    Bydest
    roy
    ingmyf
    ami
    l
    y.”
    “
    Cany
    oucal
    m down,
    youwi
    l
    lhur
    tyour
    sel
    f.
    ”
    Hel
    ookedatheri
    nshock.“
    Youdest
    roy
    edmy
    f
    amil
    y!
    ”
    Tsotlhetookadeepbr eathremai ni
    ngcal m.“I
    didn’
    tdest royy ourfami l
    y,youdi dbysl eepi
    ng
    withy ourbrother’swi f
    e.Iam sor rythatItold
    him butIwasangr y.Iwoul dneverwantt o
    destroyy ourfami l
    y ,It
    houghtIwasdoi ngwhat
    wasr ightfory ou.Ifhedi dn’tshooty outhen
    thereisnot hi
    ngt obewor r
    iedabout .Take
    responsibil
    ityfory ouract i
    ons,amanwho
    admi tshiswr ongsandcor r
    ectsthem issexy .
    ”
    Helookedatherasshegent l
    ypushedhim
    downthebed.“Rel
    ax,Ineedtocleanyou.You
    aremakingalotofnoi
    sey ouareeven
    sweati
    ng.”
    “
    Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evey
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    oubr
    eaki
    ngupwi
    thme?
    ”
    Helookedathersi
    l
    entl
    y.“Idon’
    tli
    keawoman
    whodoesn’tknowherpl
    ace.”
    “AndIdon’tli
    keamanwhothinksit’
    sfi
    net o
    cheatandwor sewi
    thhi
    ssi
    sterin-
    law.It
    ’s
    disgust
    ing.Tel
    lmenowify
    ouar ebreaki
    ngup
    withmeornot .”
    Helookedawayfr
    om hert
    henshet
    ooka
    bucketofwat
    erwit
    hatowel,
    awashi
    ngr
    ugand
    soap.
    “
    Ineedt
    oundr
    essy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Didy
    oul
    ockt
    hedoor
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Aft
    erIwalkoutofher
    eIam goingt
    ofuckyou
    real
    lyhar
    dtil
    lyouunder
    standhowyouneedto
    act.
    ”
    “
    Ithoughty
    ouwer
    egoi
    ngt
    owai
    t.
    ”
    “
    Thatpl
    anwentoutthr
    oughthewindowthe
    momentyoudeci
    dedtoopenyourmouth.”
    Tsotl
    hel
    ookedathim andsmi
    l
    edt
    hen
    event
    ual
    l
    ylaughed.“
    Sorry.
    ”
    “
    Mxm.
    ”
    Herphonerangt
    henshet
    ooki
    tout
    .“I
    t’
    sthe
    det
    ecti
    ve.
    ”
    “
    Giv
    eitt
    ome.
    ”
    “
    Huh?
    ”
    “
    Giv
    eitt
    ome.
    ”
    Shehandedittohi
    mt henhecutthecall
    .“Iam
    goingtost
    aywitht
    hisphonewhileIlooki
    nto
    yourbehav
    ior,
    seeify
    ouhav echangedornot.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Helookedatherassheundressedhi
    m, herhai
    r
    comingtoherface.Shel
    ookedathim and
    smil
    edmakinghim sigh.
    “
    Iam st
    il
    langr
    y,mydi
    ckal
    soneedswashi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Iam nott
    ouchi
    ngy
    ourdi
    ck.
    ”
    “
    No,youar
    enotaki
    dany mor
    e,youareagr
    own
    womanwit
    hbigbr
    eastandpubi
    chairwhocan
    gotopol
    icestat
    ionsandwhocansni
    tch,y
    ou
    areol
    denoughsoy ouaregoi
    ngt
    odoi t
    .How
    aboutwestar
    twithit
    ?”
    Shel
    ookedathisbri
    efsst
    ari
    ngathowhi
    sdi
    ck
    wasj
    ustshowing.
    “
    Tino…”
    “
    Goon.
    ”
    Shel ookedinhisseri
    ousey eswi t
    haf ast
    beatinghear tt
    henpull
    eddownhi sbrief
    swith
    shakinghands.Hi sdi
    ckspr ungoutthenshe
    quicklygrabbedthetowel.Shehel dthedick
    withhersof tti
    nyhandsashegr ewthickand
    hardi nherhand.Shelookedathi m andfound
    hi
    mr elaxedstari
    ngbackather .Shegently
    wipedi twhil
    eitwentevenhar d.
    “
    Iam done.
    ”
    “
    Don’
    tbeachi
    l
    d.”
    “
    Idon’
    tknowwhaty
    ouwantmet
    odo.
    ”
    “
    Giv
    emeahandj
    ob,
    that
    ’st
    hel
    easty
    oucando.
    ”
    Sheslowlyst
    rokedhim, Ti
    notouchedherhand
    andshowedherwhathewant ed.Shefi
    rmly
    str
    okedhisdi
    ck,hermi ndwentbacktothetal
    k
    Bri
    dgett
    ehadoncegi venherthensheopened
    hermouthandslippedthedickheadinher
    mouth.
    Tinogroanedfeel
    i
    ngherwar mth,
    hewat ched
    herbobbingherheadupanddownwhi l
    egivi
    ng
    him ahandjob.Mi
    nutesl
    aterhegroaned
    thrust
    ingint
    ohermouthandshothisload.
    “
    Ahhf
    uck!Wher
    ethef
    uckdi
    dyoul
    ear
    nthat
    ?”
    Sher
    aisedherheadswal
    l
    owi
    ngt
    henwi
    pedher
    mout
    h.
    “
    CanIcl
    eany
    ounow?Bef
    orepeopl
    ecome.
    ”
    Henoddedst
    ari
    ngatheri
    nshock.“
    Yeahsur
    e.”

    *
    **
    Gi
    nalookedatt
    hedoct
    orexpl
    aini
    ngher
    si
    tuat
    ion.
    “Itookthepr
    egnancyt
    estandi
    tsai
    dIam
    pregnant.
    ”
    “Ok,Idoubtyouarepregnant,sowear egoing
    torunacoupl emoretestandexami nati
    onsand
    seewhatmi ghtbethepr obl
    em.I tcouldbet he
    resul
    tofal i
    tt
    legas,i
    ntesti
    nalrumbling,orev en
    uteri
    neir
    rit
    ati
    on.Iti
    snotsomet hi
    ngt oworry
    about,event
    uall
    yitgoesaway .”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Ithi
    nkwecandoanul t
    rasoundf
    ir
    stj
    ustt
    o
    r
    ulepregnancyout
    .”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Il
    ayont
    hebedthenshewalkedov
    erandputa
    col
    dgel
    overmystomach.
    “
    Youpr
    ett
    yfi
    t.
    ”
    “
    Ihav
    ebeengoi
    ngt
    othegy
    mlat
    ely
    .”
    “
    Ili
    ket
    hat
    .Iwanty
    out
    olookatt
    hescr
    een.
    ”
    Il
    ookedthenshesmi
    l
    ed.“
    See?Not
    hing.Ther
    e
    i
    snothi
    ng.”
    Shesi
    ghedwit
    hr el
    i
    eve.“
    ThankGod!I
    magi
    ne
    get
    ti
    nganabort
    ionatthi
    sage.
    ”
    Thedoct
    orl
    aughed.“
    Icani
    magine.Sor
    elax,
    let
    meseewhatmaybet hepr
    obl
    em.”
    “
    Ok.ButIneedt
    ogoandseemyson.
    ”
    “
    Itwon’
    ttakel
    ong.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”

    *
    **

    Thabil
    e’
    sphonerangasshewalkedi
    nsi
    deher
    off
    iceandst
    aredatthehugepi
    l
    eoffil
    esonher
    desk.
    “
    Yes?
    ”
    “
    Hey
    ,Ihav
    ebeenmeani
    ngt
    ocal
    lyou.
    ”
    “
    Ist
    il
    lhav
    en’
    tfoundher
    .”
    “
    Iam sor
    ryIhav
    en’
    tbeenmuchsuppor
    t.
    ”
    “Abeit
    ’sok.Youneverwant
    edthi
    schi l
    dto
    begi
    nwi t
    h,Idi
    dittospi
    teEazi
    .Iwishednothi
    ng
    buttheworstonherbabyandIguessthisi
    s
    whatIget.
    ”
    “
    Iam r
    eal
    l
    ysor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok.
    ”
    “
    Thatchil
    d…y
    ousaidthatchil
    dyouhadwhen
    webrokeupi
    smine,i
    she? ”
    “
    No.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    edoeshest
    ay?
    ”
    “
    Wit
    hyourf
    ather
    ’ssi
    ster
    .”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Shehungupandsatdownwonder
    ingwhenshe
    wasgoingt
    ofini
    shup.Shetookapi
    ctur
    eand
    senti
    ttoRi
    chardwhocall
    edbacki
    mmedi at
    ely
    .
    “
    Ist
    hatwai
    ti
    ngf
    ory
    ou?
    ”
    “
    Whydi
    dIgetal
    eav
    e?”
    Hel
    aughed.“
    Youwi
    l
    lbef
    ine.
    ”
    “
    Yeah,
    byt
    heway,don’
    tfor
    gett
    obuyEmma’
    s
    f
    ri
    endabi
    rt
    hdaypr
    esent
    .”
    “
    Ok.Iwi
    l
    lcomedur
    ingl
    unch.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hehungupl
    eav
    ingherwi
    thahugesmi
    l
    e.

    *
    **

    Lat
    ert hatday
    ,Iwalkedinsi
    demyther
    api
    st’
    s
    off
    ice.Shesmi l
    edstar
    ingatme.
    “HeyEazi
    ,Iam soglady
    ouar
    efi
    ne,
    youar
    eal
    l
    oversoci
    almedia.
    ”
    “
    Iam f
    ine.
    ”
    “Whatbri
    ngsyouher
    etoday
    ?Wear
    edonewi
    th
    oursessi
    ons.
    ”
    “Yes.ButIl
    i
    edtoyouaboutsomet
    hing.
    Somet hi
    ngimpor
    tant
    .”
    Thet herapistsmi
    led.“Sit
    .Iknewt her
    ewas
    somet hingy ouwerenottell
    ingme, shoul
    dwe
    star
    tal l
    ov eragai
    n?Thi sti
    mear oundwear e
    l
    ay i
    ngev erythi
    ngont hetabl
    e.”
    Inoddedsi
    tt
    ing.“
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Great
    …youcanst
    artwhenr
    eady
    .”

    AYEARLATER
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe
    #72

    AYEARLATER.
    ..

    Malcol
    ml ookedaroundasthecoachpr epared
    hi
    mt oenterthefi
    eld,noonewastherey et
    .
    Tearsf
    il
    ledhiseyesthenthecoachlookedat
    hi
    m.
    "
    Arey
    our
    eadyMal
    c?"
    Henoddedbl
    i
    nki
    ngawayhi
    stear
    s."
    Yes.
    "
    "
    Don'
    tfor
    getwhatIt
    oldy
    ou.
    "
    "
    Yes.
    "
    Thecoachtur
    nedt
    othecr
    owdbuthi
    smot
    her
    wasn'
    tther
    easyet
    .
    "
    Makemepr
    oud!
    "
    Her
    ani
    nsi
    det
    hef
    iel
    d.
    *
    **

    Attheschoolpar
    kinglot,Ist
    eppedoutoft
    he
    carinmyheelsandr antowardsthef
    iel
    d.
    Malcol
    m'sclassteacherspottedme.
    "
    Run!Hej
    ustgoti
    n."
    Il
    aughed."
    Hei
    sgoi
    ngt
    oki
    l
    lme.
    "
    Inmygr eenhighwaistpant
    sandbl
    ackblazer
    ,I
    approachedthecrowdsthenwal
    kedovertohis
    coachwhosmi l
    edatme.
    "
    Youmadei
    t!
    "
    Il
    aughed."
    Yes.
    "
    Ilookedatthefi
    eldthenspottedhim.I
    screamedhisnamehol dingupt heposterIhad
    madewi thhisnameoni t.Hewav edthengot
    theball
    .Ist
    oodi nanti
    cipat
    ionasher anwi t
    hit
    towardsthegoalkeeperwiththeball
    .Iquickly
    tookoutmyphoneandt ookavideoashe
    scoredandr
    anacrossthegroundwi t
    hhis
    teammatescel
    ebr
    ating.Awhil
    el at
    er,t
    hecoach
    shookmyheadwithMal col
    m st
    andingbeside
    me.
    "
    Ther
    eisar
    easonwhyhei
    sthet
    eam capt
    ain.
    "
    "
    Thanky
    ouf
    orchoosi
    nghi
    m."
    "
    Seey
    ounextweekMal
    c."
    Iwalkedwi
    thhi
    mtot
    hecar
    ."Youwer
    eamazi
    ng
    today.
    "
    "Whydi
    dn'
    tdaddycome?Hedoesn'
    tl
    ikeus
    anymor
    e?"
    Wegotint
    hecart
    henIsi
    ghed."
    Hewassobusy
    ,
    hecoul
    dn'
    tcome.
    "
    "
    Buthepr
    omi
    sedhewoul
    dcome.
    "
    "
    Hewi
    l
    lcomenextt
    ime.
    "
    “Hesai
    dthatt
    hel
    astt
    ime.Whycan’
    twegoand
    seehi
    m? ”
    “
    Wewi
    l
    lgo.
    ”
    HekeptquietasIstart
    edthecar.Athome,I
    tookoffmyshoesandwal kedbarefoot
    edtothe
    bedroom whereIsatonthebeddial
    ingAbe.
    "
    Hel
    l
    o?"
    "
    Youmi
    ssedMal
    c'
    sfoot
    bal
    lgame,
    agai
    n."
    "
    Igothel
    dup.
    "
    "
    Wit
    hwhat
    ?"
    "
    Eazi
    thebusi
    nessneedsmyat
    tent
    ion.
    "
    "
    Iknowandunder
    standbut
    -"
    "
    Butnot
    hing.Youknowhowbusyi
    tget
    s."
    "
    Iunder
    stand.
    "
    "
    Howdi
    ditgo?
    "
    "
    Hescor
    ed.
    "
    "
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    ltal
    ktohi
    m."
    “
    Whenar
    eyoucomi
    ngt
    hissi
    de?
    ”
    “Idon’
    tknow,Iam hel
    dup.Iwi
    l
    ltal
    ktoy
    ou,
    I
    havetogo.”
    Hehungupt henIstoodupandf r
    eshenedup.I
    walkedbackt othesit
    ti
    ngroom andfoundMalc
    si
    tt
    inginfrontoftheTV.Het ur
    nedtomeand
    l
    ookedatmygy m wear.
    “
    Wear
    egoi
    ngagai
    n?”
    “
    Yes.Goanddr
    essup.
    ”
    “Mamamyl egispai
    nful
    .Iam t
    ir
    edtoo.Iwas
    runni
    ngdur i
    ngthegametoo.Doesn’
    tthatcount
    asexerci
    sing?”
    Iwal
    kedovert
    ohi m andpull
    edhim up.“
    Let’
    s
    go.I
    fyouwanttoremainteam capt
    ainthenyou
    gott
    okeepworkinghard.
    ”
    “
    Okayokay
    …”
    Herushedt
    ohi
    sroom asIpi
    ckedmyr
    ingi
    ng
    phone.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hey
    ,soguesswhat
    ?”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    WhatOnt
    la?
    ”
    “
    Baei
    staki
    ngmet
    oCapeTown!
    ”
    “
    Yesgi
    rl
    !”
    Ontl
    ametsil
    aughed.“Iam soexci
    ted.Ican’
    t
    sl
    eepatnight
    .AllIam thi
    nki
    ngisthebeach.”
    “
    Takepi
    ctur
    es.
    ”
    “Cameraer eadyngwadaka!Ebi
    l
    ekeemesent
    le
    kabiki
    ni.Theyaregoi
    ngtoseeme.”
    “
    Akany
    angi
    sagoodguy
    .”
    “That
    ’swhatIthoughtaboutAbe.Ican’
    tbel
    i
    eve
    hedisappoi
    ntedmel i
    kethat.
    ”
    Isighed.“Idon’
    tknowwhat ’
    sgoingonwi t
    hhim
    any more.Henevercall
    s,i
    fIdon’tcal
    lhedoesn’
    t
    call
    .IfIdon’tmessagehim,hedoesn’t.Hesays
    onet hi
    ngt oMalcanddoest heother
    .KanaI
    foundoutonf acebookthatguyhadwentt o
    Maur it
    iusandwhenIaskedhesai dhef or
    gott
    o
    ment
    ioni
    tpl
    usi
    twasn’
    tany
    thi
    ngser
    ious.
    ”
    “
    Whydon’
    tyougot
    her
    eandseehi
    m?”
    “Heisnott
    hereri
    ghtnow.Heist
    rav
    ell
    i
    ng.Thi
    s
    rel
    ati
    onshi
    phonestl
    yfeel
    sonesi
    ded.I
    t’
    s
    str
    aini
    ngme.”
    “May beyoushoul
    dacceptt
    hatit
    ’sover
    .No
    doubtthatyouandAbeloveeachother
    ,thelov
    e
    i
    st herebutIdon’
    tthi
    nkbot
    hofyouwer eready
    forthatl
    ove.”
    “Kanaheisnotsayi
    nganyt
    hingOntl
    a,i
    fhewas
    sayingsomet
    hingIwoul
    dunderst
    andbutheis
    quiet.
    ”
    “
    Ahht
    henIdon’
    tknow.
    ”
    Malcol
    m walkedoutthenl
    ookedatme.We
    bot
    hwal kedoutwhi
    leIspoketoOnt
    la.
    “
    Any
    way
    s,Iam donewi
    thmyhouse.
    ”
    “
    Real
    l
    y?”
    Igoti
    nthecaranddr
    oveout
    .“Yes.Inev
    er
    thoughtIwoul
    dseemy
    sel
    fowni
    ngahousebut
    hereIam.”
    “Iam soproudofyousis.Youarenow
    i
    nternat
    ionalbusi
    nesswise,Imean,y
    ouare
    goingplaces.Mal
    cRefr
    esher si
    sthethi
    ng.
    ”
    “Iam proudofmy self
    .Ididn’
    tthi
    nkIwouldget
    thi
    sfar.Iam t
    hinkingofstart
    ingasmall
    busi
    nessont heside.Ifev
    erythi
    nggoeswell
    ,it
    ’s
    boundtocashinal ot
    .”
    “
    That
    ’smygi
    rl
    !”
    Thepol
    icesi
    renmademel ookatt
    herear
    view
    mir
    rort
    henIquickl
    ydr
    oppedthecal
    landputon
    myseatbel
    t.
    “
    Mal
    c,seat
    bel
    t!
    ”
    Hequickl
    yputonhisseat
    beltt
    hensat
    i
    nnocentl
    yasIstoppedonthesideoft
    heroad.
    Thepoli
    ceoff
    icerst
    eppedoutandwalkedto
    mywindow.
    “
    Dumel
    amma,
    Isawy
    out
    alki
    ngont
    hephone.
    ”
    Il
    ookedathi
    m andsmi
    l
    ed.“
    Me?
    ”
    Helookedatmyf
    aceandl
    aughed.“
    Letmesee
    yourl
    icense.
    ”
    It
    ookoutmyli
    censesmili
    ngandhandedi tto
    hi
    m.“Whyar
    ey oulaughi
    ng?Iam shocked.”
    “
    Isawy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Me?Yougoti
    tal
    lwr
    ong.
    ”
    Helookedatmyl icense.“Eaziweh,
    ketlago
    chargerkana.Kegochar getsamaakahela.(
    I
    am goingtochargey ou.Iwil
    lbechargi
    ngyou
    forl
    iesonly.
    ””
    “
    Aoorra,
    kanammekenekesabuemof
    ouni
    ng.
    (
    ButIwasn’
    ttal
    ki
    ngont
    hephone.
    )”
    Hel
    aughed.“
    Boy
    ,what
    ’sy
    ourname?
    ”
    “
    Mal
    col
    m.”
    “
    Mal
    col
    m,wasmommyt
    alki
    ngont
    hephone?
    ”
    “
    Ngng.
    ”
    “
    Eazio,or
    utangwanamaaka?(
    Youar
    e
    t
    eachingt
    hechil
    dli
    es?
    )”
    Ichuckl
    ed.“
    Forgiveme,itwon’thappenagai
    n.
    Tlher
    rawenaintswar
    ele.(Pl
    easeforgiv
    eme.)”
    “
    No,
    youl
    i
    edt
    ome.
    ”
    Iputmyhandst ogetherwhil
    ehebur
    stout
    l
    aughing.“
    Pleaseplease…wearegoingt
    othe
    gym,Idon’
    twantt obel at
    e.”
    “
    Ok,Iwi
    ll
    leti
    tgothisonet
    imebutnextt
    imeI
    won’
    tbesoforgi
    vi
    ng.”
    “
    Under
    stood.
    ”
    Hehandedmebackmyl
    icensethengr
    abbed
    myphoneandswi
    pedt
    hescreen.
    “
    Iam t
    aki
    ngt
    hephoneaspuni
    shment
    .”
    Hewalkedtothepol
    icecar.Iqui
    ckl
    yfr
    eed
    mysel
    ffrom t
    heseatbel
    tandhurri
    edaft
    erhi
    m
    ashegotinsi
    dethecar.
    “
    Ther
    rawenaIneedt
    hatphone.
    ”
    “
    Why
    ?Thi
    sphonei
    scl
    ear
    lypoi
    sonus.
    ”
    “
    Iwon’
    ttal
    kont
    hephonewhi
    l
    edr
    ivi
    ngagai
    n.”
    “
    Promi
    se?
    ”
    “
    Promi
    se.
    ”
    Hehandedi
    tovert
    henIsmi
    l
    edwal
    ki
    ngbackt
    o
    mycaranddrov
    eaway.
    Atthegym,MalcandIwal
    kedi
    n.Of
    onawal
    ked
    overandsmil
    ed.
    “MmaEazi IwishIhadyourbody.Youare
    per
    fect
    lyt
    oned, youmakemef eelli
    keIam not
    doi
    nganything.”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Don’
    twor
    ryf
    ri
    end,
    itwi
    l
    lgetbet
    ter
    .”
    Iwal
    kedt
    othet
    readmil
    lwhi
    l
    eMal
    cwentov
    er
    tot
    heaer
    obi
    cssecti
    on.

    *
    **
    Tsotl
    hewal
    kedoutoft
    heli
    brar
    yrepl
    yi
    ngtoher
    messagest
    henBri
    dgtt
    eranoverandwal
    ked
    wit
    hher.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    Tsot
    lhesi
    ghed.“
    Whatdoy
    ouwant
    ?”
    “
    Ihear
    dyouar
    eget
    ti
    ngmar
    ri
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Iwantyout oknowthatIam happyforyou.I
    knowy oudon’tli
    kemeandIunder st
    andwhy
    butIam reall
    yhappyforyou.Youdeserv
    eal l
    thehappinessintheworl
    d.”
    Tsot
    lhel
    ookedatherandsmi
    l
    ed.“
    Thanks.
    ”
    “
    Mygi
    ftt
    oyou.Goodl
    uck.
    ”
    Bri
    dgett
    ehandedTsotlhethegif
    tbagand
    walkedaway.Tsot
    lheopeneditandlookedat
    thechocol
    ateswit
    hasmi l
    e.Shet ookt
    hem out
    andtookabitewalki
    ngtotheparkingl
    otwhere
    Ti
    nowaswai
    ti
    ngf
    orher
    .

    *
    **

    Meanwhil
    eTinosati
    nhi
    scarwai
    ti
    ngt
    alki
    ngt
    o
    Tashaonhisphone.
    “
    Sohei
    snotcomi
    ngt
    otheweddi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tknow,
    youshoul
    dgi
    vehi
    m somespace.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    thanks.
    ”
    “Inev
    erl
    ikedEazibecauseIknewshewoul
    d
    comebetweenus.Todayt her
    earedr
    if
    tsi
    nthe
    famil
    yal
    lbecauseofher.”
    “
    Eazi
    didn’
    tdoany
    thi
    ng.
    ”
    “Denyi
    tall
    youwantbutwhent
    hatwoman
    cameintoourl
    i
    ves,
    every
    thi
    ngwentwr
    ong.
    ”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Ti
    nohungupt
    henl
    ookedatTsot
    lhewal
    ki
    ng
    overinhersize36jeansandsneaker
    s.Shewas
    gaini
    ngmor eweightshewasbeginni
    ngtolook
    tadbitchubby.Shegotinthecart
    henhekissed
    her.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    Shesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Hey
    .”
    Hel
    ookedatthechocol
    atesandtookt
    hem
    f
    rom her
    .“Whatdi
    dthedoctorsay?
    ”
    “
    Ihav
    ebeencr
    avi
    ngsomet
    hingsweet
    .”
    Hetouchedherst
    omach.“
    Howi
    smybaby
    doi
    ng?”
    “Fine.Di
    dyouspeaktoy
    ouruncl
    es?Ican’
    tkeep
    hidingfr
    om mama.”
    “
    Yes,
    ever
    ythi
    ngi
    sready
    .”
    Sheyawned.“
    Iam soti
    redandtomorr
    owIhav
    e
    anexam t
    hatneedstobereadf
    or.”
    “
    Let’
    sgohome,
    youwil
    lgetsomesl
    eept
    henI
    wi
    ll
    wakeyouuptor
    ead.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Sheyawnedagainleani
    ngbackonherchai
    r
    thencl
    osedhereyessleepi
    ng.Ti
    nol
    ookedat
    herandsmil
    edbeforedrivi
    ngoff
    .

    *
    **

    Mapul
    awalkedoutoft
    hesuper
    mar
    ketdi
    ali
    ng
    Bar
    ryf
    ort
    hef i
    ft
    htime.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hey
    ,Ihav
    ebeencal
    l
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Ihav
    ebeenbusy
    .Sor
    ry.What
    ’swr
    ong?
    ”
    “
    Arey
    oucomi
    ngov
    ert
    oni
    ght
    ?”
    “
    Iam soti
    red,
    Ijustwantt
    osl
    eep.Iwi
    l
    lseey
    ou
    t
    omorrowmor ni
    ng.”
    “
    ButImi
    ssy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Iknowbabe,
    Imi
    ssy
    out
    oobutIwi
    l
    lseey
    ou
    tomorr
    ow.Apat
    ientj
    ustwal
    kedi
    n,Ihav
    eto
    go.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Shehungupget tinginhercarthennot iced
    Tendai hol
    dinghandswi t
    habeaut i
    fulwoman
    wal kingtohiscar .Shesmi l
    edwi thherperfect
    teet hgetti
    ngi nthecarwithhimt henhedr ov
    e
    off.Mapul agoti nherHondaFeetandt ookout
    hercompactmi rror.Shel
    ookedathergr easy
    facet henqui ckl
    yt ookatissueanddabbedher
    oilyface.Shel ookedathert wor abbitteet
    hand
    closedhermout hsuddenl yfeel
    ingconsci ousof
    her self
    .

    *
    **

    Afteranhourandhal
    f,Istr
    etchedmybody
    panting.Mygyminst
    ructorhandedmeaclean
    towel.
    “
    Youdi
    dwel
    l
    .”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Thanks.
    ”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Iwal
    kedawayfr
    om herandl
    ookedatMal
    colm
    whowaslyi
    ngontopofmygym backpl
    ayi
    nga
    gameonmyphone.
    “
    Let
    ’sgo.
    ”
    “
    Lastonet
    othecarwashest
    hepl
    ates!
    ”
    HedashedoutasIt
    ookmybagandwal
    ked
    af
    terhi
    m.
    “
    Youar
    ewashi
    ngt
    hepl
    atesmama!
    ”
    “
    Wedon’tworkli
    kethatsi
    r.Youar
    ewashi
    ng
    t
    hepl
    ates.That
    ’syourj
    ob.
    ”
    Iunl
    ockedt
    hecaranswer
    ingmyr
    ingi
    ngphone.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi,
    am Ispeaki
    ngt
    oEazi
    Taf
    ir
    a?”
    “
    Yes,
    howmayIhel
    pyou?
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sLi
    na.
    ”
    “
    UhhowcanIhel
    pyou?
    ”
    “Iam alawyerandIwi l
    lberepr
    esent
    ingAbein
    thedivorceproceedi
    ngs.Thediv
    orcepapers
    will
    besentt oyou,maket hej
    obeasierand
    don’tf
    ightit
    .”
    “
    Excuseme?
    ”
    “Youhear
    dme.Mycl
    i
    entwant
    sadi
    vor
    ce.A
    peacef
    uldi
    vor
    ce.
    ”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #73

    It
    ookadeepbr
    eat
    h.“
    Thanky
    ou,
    Iwi
    l
    lhav
    emy
    l
    awy ercont
    actyouonceIdogetthediv
    orce
    papers.Haveyour
    sel
    fagreatev
    ening.Good
    bye.
    ”
    Ihungupasshest art
    edt osaysomet hingand
    gotinthecarwi thMal c.Ilookedatmyphone
    thi
    nkingofcal li
    nghi mt henchuckledi ndisbeli
    ef.
    Istart
    edt hecaranddr ov ehome.Insidet he
    house,Ipr eheatedt hedinneranddi shedf or
    Mal cbeforegoi ngtot hebedr oom wher eIsat
    downt hought full
    ythinkingoft hef
    actt hatwe
    weremar r
    iedincommuni tyofproperty.My
    phoner angt henIlookedathi snumberf l
    ashi
    ng
    onmyscr een.
    “
    Abe…”
    “
    Hey
    ,Li
    naj
    ustt
    oldmeshecal
    l
    edy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Shedi
    d.”
    “Ihaven’
    tbeenhappyfort
    helongesttimeandI
    don’tthi
    nkweshouldbothkeepforci
    ngthings,I
    wantt orai
    semychil
    dpeaceful
    lywithouthavi
    ng
    t
    ochoose.
    ”
    “Havi
    ngtochoosewhat
    ?Ihav
    enev
    ermadey
    ou
    chooseSummer.”
    “
    Iknowyouarenotgoi ngtol
    ovemychil
    dthe
    wayyoushouldEaziandIdon’
    tevenwantt
    o
    f
    orceyoubecauseitwill
    beunfai
    r.
    ”
    “Whyar eyoumaki ngi tseem asi fIdon’ tlike
    yourdaughter.Inev erhadapr oblem wi thAy a’s
    pregnancybecauseIknewshehadconcei ved
    beforeme.Iwasr eadyt oacceptSummerway
    beforeshewasbor nbuty oudecidedt ol ieto
    meandmakemebel ievet hatsheabor ted.
    WhenIf oundout ,Ididn’ tsayIwanty out o
    abandonSummer ,didn’tIsayIwi ll
    raiseherl ike
    myown?Buty oudeci dedt osendherof fto
    yourauntasi fIcouldn’ ttakecar eofachi ldall
    becausey ouwer est i
    llkeepi ngSummerf rom
    yourparents.Stopt ryi
    ngt omakemet hebad
    person.Whendi dIsayIdi dn’twanty our
    daughter?Iwentt oseeherwheny ouwer ein
    hospitalbutIcouldn’
    ttakeherwi t
    hbecauseI
    am nothermot herandtheywoul dhave
    probablyar r
    est
    edmef orki
    dnappi ngor
    somet hing.Iam ti
    redofyout hi
    nkingyoucan
    walkal l
    ov erme,makey ourselfbett
    erby
    putti
    ngt heblameonme. ”
    Abesighed.“Iam sor
    ry,
    Idon’
    tthi
    nkour
    marr
    iagewi l
    lsti
    l
    lbethesame.”
    “
    Andy
    ouwai
    tedt
    hewhol
    eyeart
    otel
    lmet
    hat
    ?”
    “Eazij
    ustsignthepaper
    sandletusmov eon
    withourli
    ves.Iwantnot
    hingfr
    om you,l
    et
    every
    onekeept hei
    rownshare.Idon’
    twantt
    o
    fi
    ghtwithyou.”
    Mal
    col
    m wal
    kedi
    nmot
    ionedIf
    oll
    owhi
    m.
    “
    Ihavet
    ogo.Mysonneedsme.
    ”Ihungupand
    f
    oll
    owedaf
    terhi
    m.
    “
    Whati
    sit
    ?”
    “
    Yourf
    ri
    endi
    sout
    side.
    ”
    Iwal
    kedoutandlookedatOtengsit
    tingont
    op
    ofhi
    sbonnet
    .Iranmyhandt hroughmyweav e
    andwal
    kedovertohim bar
    efooted.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    Helookedatmeandst eppeddownpul
    li
    ngme
    i
    nforat i
    ghthug.Itookadeepbreathr
    elaxi
    ng
    i
    nhisarms.Hel etgowi t
    hasmi l
    e.
    “
    Thegy
    misdoi
    ngwonder
    s.”
    Ichuckl
    ed.“
    Tel
    lmeabouti
    t.Youar
    eback?
    ”
    “
    Yeah…Ihav
    etomanageal
    lmybusi
    nesses.
    Wherei
    sMalc?
    ”
    “
    Wat
    chi
    ngTv
    ,gat
    wey
    ourf
    ri
    endi
    sout
    side.
    ”
    Helaughed.“
    Yoursondoesn’
    tli
    keme.Hei s
    probabl
    ythi
    nki
    nghisfat
    herhasalr
    eadybeen
    repl
    aced.
    ”
    “
    Hisf
    atherwant
    stol
    eav
    e.”
    Hepaused.“
    Hewant
    sadi
    vor
    ce?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Wow!
    ”
    It
    uckedmyhai
    rbehi
    ndmyear
    .“Iknow.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    Ishookmyhead.“
    Iexpect
    edi
    t.
    ”
    “
    Soy
    ouar
    egood?
    ”
    “Yes.Thoughsomet
    hingt
    ell
    smet
    her
    eis
    someone.”
    “
    Obv
    iousl
    y.
    ”
    Ismackedhi
    sshoul
    derpl
    ayf
    ull
    y.“
    Youar
    ethe
    worstf
    ri
    end.
    ”
    “Iam anhonestfr
    iend.Fr
    iendst
    hatl
    i
    etoy
    ou
    arenotyourreal
    fri
    ends.”
    Ilaughed.“
    Yeah…Iam goi
    ngt
    oseehi
    m
    tomor r
    ow.”
    “
    Youar
    egoi
    ngt
    oKasane?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Iwantt
    obesur
    e.”
    “Yourt
    eam i
    slosi
    ng,
    don’
    tdi
    sappoi
    nty
    our
    gender
    .”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Iwon’
    t.
    ”
    “
    Igoty
    ouandMal
    csomet
    hing.
    ”
    Hewalkedtothebootthencamebackholdi
    ng
    shoppi
    ngbags.Ismil
    edt aki
    ngt
    hem al
    l
    .“Thank
    you.
    ”
    “
    Iwantt
    oseey
    ouput
    ti
    ngt
    hem on.
    ”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Ok,
    wai
    ther
    e.”
    “
    DoIl
    ookl
    i
    keIam goi
    ngany
    wher
    e?”
    Iwalkedbackinsidethehouseandpassed
    Malcgoingtomybedr oom.Itookaqui ck
    showerwashingof ft
    hesweatf rom thegy m
    thenchangedintotheclothesandheels.He
    hadboughtal ot
    , mor
    et hanlastti
    me.Ilooked
    i
    ntoeachshoppi ngbackput t
    ingtheclotheson
    thebed.IwalkedoutthenMal clookedatme.
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyougoi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Iam comi
    ng,
    Iam notgoi
    ngany
    wher
    e.”
    Iwal
    kedoutt
    henOt
    engsmi
    l
    ed.
    “
    Thesearebeaut
    if
    ul.Il
    ovet
    hem andt
    heyar
    ea
    l
    ot.Youdi
    dn’
    thaveto.”
    “
    Youdeser
    vei
    t.
    ”
    “
    Am Inotgl
    adt
    ohav
    eyouasmyf
    ri
    end.
    ”
    Hi
    sphoner
    angt
    henheanswer
    ed.
    “Yah?Sur
    e,wher
    e?Ok,
    Iam onmyway .”He
    hungupandgotdownfr
    om thebonnet
    .
    “
    Ok,
    Ihav
    etogo.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Ihuggedhimthenheputhi
    shandsonmywai st
    breat
    hingonmynecksendingti
    nyshi
    ver
    sdown
    myspine.Acardrovei
    n,i
    t’
    sli
    ghtsbumpi
    ngon
    us.Ist
    eppedbackthenl
    ookedatGinast
    eppi
    ng
    outofher.
    “
    Mymot
    heri
    n-l
    aw.
    ”
    “Soontobeexmot
    heri
    n-l
    aw.Fir
    stthi
    ngyou
    shoul
    ddoismoveoutf
    rom t
    hishouse.
    ”
    “
    Stopi
    t.
    ”
    “
    Becar
    eful
    ,Iwi
    l
    lki
    ssy
    oui
    nfr
    ontofher
    .”
    Ichuckl
    edt
    hensmi
    l
    edatGi
    na.“
    Ma…”
    Shel
    ookedatOt
    engt
    henatme.“
    Daught
    er…”
    “
    Oteng,t
    hisi
    smymot
    heri
    n-l
    aw,
    ma,
    thi
    sismy
    f
    ri
    end.”
    Ginal
    ookedathi
    m wi
    thnot
    hingbutdi
    sgust
    .
    “HowdoesheknowAbe?”
    “
    Hedoesn’
    t.Hewasj
    ustl
    eav
    ing.
    ”
    Mal
    col
    m peakedout
    .“Mama,
    phone!
    ”
    Il
    ookedatOt
    eng.“
    Bye.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lyou.
    ”
    “
    Shar
    p.”
    Iwal
    kedt
    othehousewi
    thGi
    nabehi
    ndme.
    *
    **

    MeanwhileOtenggoti nhi
    scarandst
    artedt
    he
    carasEazi’
    smot herin-
    lawwal
    kedover.He
    rol
    leddownhiswi ndow.
    “
    Stayawayf
    rom her
    ,shei
    samar
    ri
    edwoman.
    ”
    Otenglaughed.“Soonshewon’ tbeandshe
    won’tbey ourdaughterin-
    lawany more.Enj
    oy
    thelastmoment stot hefull
    est.
    ”Hesmi l
    edand
    wavedr eversi
    ngout.Ginat ookoutherphone
    andcalledAbe.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngonbet
    weeny
    ouandEazi
    ?”
    “
    Sheal
    readyr
    ant
    oyou?
    ”
    “
    Abe,
    what
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “
    Iwantadi
    vor
    ce.I
    t’
    snotwor
    kingoutany
    mor
    e.”
    “
    Why
    ?”
    “
    Askher
    .”
    Ginaheardafemal
    evoi
    cef
    rom t
    hebackgr
    ound.
    “Mama, Ihav
    etogo.
    ”
    “
    Whowast
    hat
    ?”
    “
    Noone.
    ”
    Hehungupl
    eav
    ingherst
    ari
    ngatherphone.

    *
    **

    I
    nsi
    det
    hehouse,
    Ilaughedhol
    dingmyphone.
    “
    Ont
    la,
    slowdown,
    youwi
    l
    lki
    l
    lhi
    m.”
    “
    Itworks,
    int
    hef
    utur
    e,y
    oushoul
    duset
    he
    t
    rick.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    l,mot
    her
    sisher
    e,by
    e.”
    Ihungupandf
    acedGi
    na.“
    Ma…”
    Shelookedatmemomentari
    ly,
    Iknewwhatshe
    wasthinki
    ngsoIwai
    tedpat
    ient
    lyfort
    he
    questi
    on.
    “
    Icametoseey
    ouandMal
    c.Youbar
    elyv
    isi
    t
    t
    heseday
    s.”
    “
    It
    ’sbeenbusybutIwi
    l
    lchange.
    ”
    Shelaughed.“Dothat
    ,Idon’
    twantyoutofeel
    l
    ikeanoutsiderj
    ustbecauseAbedoesn’
    tstay
    aroundhere.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    sit
    ,Iwi
    l
    ldi
    shf
    ory
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Ibr
    oughtusamov
    ie.
    ”

    *
    **

    Mapul
    aparkedhercari
    nfrontofBar
    ry’
    sgat
    e
    t
    hencal
    ledhim st
    ari
    ngathiscar
    .
    “
    Yah?
    ”
    "
    Hey
    ,opent
    hegat
    e.”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Opent
    hegat
    e,Iam her
    e.”
    “
    Mapul
    a,di
    dn’
    tIt
    ell
    youIwast
    ir
    ed?
    ”
    “
    Iknow,
    opent
    hegat
    e.Ibr
    oughtdi
    nner
    .”
    “
    Iam comi
    ng.
    ”
    Hehungup,minut
    eslaterhewalkedoutoft
    he
    houseandcametotheclosedgatethen
    unl
    ockedthesmal
    lgateandwalkedout.Hegot
    i
    nthecar.
    “Whyar
    eyounotopeni
    ngthebi
    ggat e,
    Iwantt
    o
    dri
    vei
    n,mycarcan’
    tsl
    eepout
    side.
    ”
    “Babe,
    toni
    ghtIam notgoi
    ngt
    obegr
    eat
    company,Iam exhaust
    ed.
    ”
    Mapul
    asmiled.“
    Iknowandunder
    stand.Wewi
    l
    l
    j
    ustsl
    eep.
    ”
    “
    Cany
    oucomet
    omor
    row?
    ”
    “
    Bar
    ry,
    Iam al
    readyher
    e.”
    “
    Aft
    erIt
    oldy
    ounott
    ocome.
    ”
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    Barr
    yexhaled.“
    Idon’twantt
    obei
    nthi
    s
    rel
    ati
    onshi
    panymor e.”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “Ican’
    tbewi t
    hsomeonewhowentandstol
    e
    mycousi n’
    snumberfr
    om myphone.You
    obviousl
    ywanthim.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Yeah,herecentl
    ytoldmewhenItoldhimI
    want
    edtomar ryyou.Idon’
    tthi
    nkIwanttobe
    wi
    thsomeonewhol ust
    sovermyrelat
    ivesor
    f
    ri
    ends.”
    “
    Idi
    dn’
    twanthi
    m,Ij
    ustwantedajob.Hegot
    t
    hewhol
    ethi
    ngmisunder
    stood.
    ”
    “Idoubt
    .Youknewwhatwasgoi
    ngon.You
    couldhavet
    oldmetocal
    lhi
    m,howdidyou
    evenknowaboutt
    hebusi
    nesseshehadwhenI
    nevert
    oldy
    ouanythi
    ng?Ican’
    ttr
    ustyou.
    ”
    “
    Babe….
    ”
    “Don’
    t,Ij
    ustwanttowalkawayf
    rom t
    his
    rel
    ati
    onship.It
    houghty
    ouweredif
    fer
    ent,
    Iam
    notgoingtomar r
    yaredfl
    ag.
    ”
    “
    Ithappenedonl
    yonce.
    ”
    “I
    tdoesn’thavetohappentwi
    ceformet obe
    sure.”Hesteppedoutoft
    hecar.“
    Pleasestop
    cal
    lingmeorcomi ngtomyhouse.”
    Hewal kedbackinsidehi
    shouseusingthe
    smallgatethenlockedbehi
    ndherandwal ked
    tohisdoor.Sheangr i
    l
    ytookherphoneand
    scrol
    ledthroughtoOteng’
    snumbert hencall
    ed
    him buthisnumberdidn’
    tgothrough.

    *
    **
    TinoshookTsot
    lhel
    atert
    hatev
    eni
    ngbutshe
    remainedsl
    eepi
    ng.
    “
    Tsot
    lhe!Tsot
    lhe!
    ”Heshookherhar
    der
    .
    Helookedatherpani
    cki
    ngt
    henshookher
    agai
    n.“Tsot
    lhe!
    ”
    Shemoanedt
    urni
    ngawayf
    rom hi
    minhersl
    eep.
    “
    Babe,
    wakeup!
    ”
    Helookedatherforawhil
    ereal
    i
    zinghewasn’
    t
    goi
    ngt owinthencover
    edherwit
    haduvetand
    walkedout.Hecal
    ledAbethenwait
    edashi
    s
    phonerang.
    Al
    adyanswer
    edt
    hephone.“
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Uh…i
    sthi
    sAbe’
    sphone?
    ”
    “
    Yes.CanIt
    akey
    ourmessage?
    ”
    “
    Uhno,
    ishear
    ound?
    ”
    “
    Hei
    sbat
    hing.
    ”
    “
    Ohok.
    ”Hehungupshocked.
    *
    **

    Thefol
    l
    owingmorning,
    Igoti
    nsi
    det
    hepl
    ane
    tal
    ki
    ngtoGinaonthephone.
    “RememberwhatItol
    dyou.Thatmanisy
    ours.
    Marri
    edpeopl
    efi
    ghtallt
    heti
    mebuttheyal
    ways
    gobacktoeachother
    .”
    “
    Ehmma.
    ”
    “
    Good,
    cal
    lme.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Mal
    col
    m satbesi
    demesmi
    l
    ing.
    “
    Ist
    hist
    aki
    ngust
    odaddy
    ?”
    “Yes.Butwearegoi
    ngtoMaunfi
    rstt
    hengeta
    smallfl
    ightt
    owheredadyi
    s.”
    Myphoner
    ang,
    Ismi
    l
    edanswer
    ing.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Youaremaki
    ngami
    stake.It
    hinky
    oushoul
    d
    t
    ell
    himyouar
    ecomi
    ng.”
    “
    Oteng,
    stopdoi
    ngt
    hat
    .”
    “Iam tel
    l
    ingyou,youshoul
    dcommunicatewit
    h
    him.Youar egoi
    ngtohaveyourhear
    tbroken,
    trustme.”
    “
    Iam r
    eadyf
    ort
    hat
    .”
    “
    Ify
    ousayso,
    ther
    ent
    alcarwi
    l
    lbewai
    ti
    ngf
    or
    y
    ou.”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Cal
    lmewheny
    ouar
    ri
    ve.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Isi
    ghedfeel
    i
    nganxi
    ous,
    thediv
    orcepaper
    sfelt
    heavyi
    nmyhandbag.Mi
    nuteslat
    ert
    heplane
    wastaki
    ngoff.

    *
    **
    I
    nKasane,
    Ismil
    edgetti
    nginsi
    dether
    edJeep.I
    l
    ookedatt
    hebeauti
    ful
    int
    eri
    orwonder
    ingj
    ust
    howmuchthecarcost
    .
    “
    Mal
    c,seat
    bel
    t!
    ”
    Istartedt hecarwi t
    hasmi l
    ethendroveof f
    headedt oAbe’ shouse.Ihadbeenher eonl ya
    coupleoft imesandnev erreall
    ygottimet osee
    Kasanef orwhati thol
    ds.Isteppedont he
    accelerat orandletthecarsurgef or
    ward.A
    whilelat erIdroveinsi
    det hegateandparked
    thecar .Ist eppedoutoft hecarandfoll
    owed
    Mal colmi nsidethehousehol dingmyhandbag.
    Mysi xi nchr edbottomsechoedont heti
    lesasI
    mademywayt othesitt
    ingroom where
    Mal colm st oodsti
    llst
    ari
    ngatt hepregnant
    woman.Il ockedeyeswi thherasshelookedat
    me.
    "
    Hi,
    youmustbeEazi
    ."
    Ibli
    nkedfeel
    i
    ngmykneesweakenwit
    hever
    y
    second.Myeyeswentbackt
    oherbi
    gbump.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #74

    "
    Iam Sadi
    ."
    "
    Whoar
    eyou?
    "
    Sadismil
    edget
    ti
    ngup."
    Ithi
    nkyoushouldask
    Abedil
    ewhenheget
    sback.Letmecallhi
    m."
    Shepressedhi
    sphonef
    orawhi
    l
    ethenhel
    dher
    phoneonherear.
    "Babe,
    Eazii
    shere.
    ..Justcomebackhome.Ok,
    Ilovey
    outoo..
    "Shesmi l
    edhangi
    ngupthen
    l
    ookedatme."
    Hei
    sonhi
    sway
    ."
    Isi
    l
    ent
    lysatdownpl aci
    ngmyhandbagonmy
    l
    ap.Mal
    colm satbesideme.
    "
    Howf
    arar
    eyou?
    "
    "
    7mont
    hs.
    "
    Inoddedt henatearrandownmycheek.
    Malcom lookedatmeandr estedhisheadon
    mychestwhi l
    eIwipedawaymyt ear.Seconds
    passedli
    kehour sasIwai t
    ed.Sadi wal kedto
    thekit
    chenandcamebackhol di
    ngagl assof
    j
    uice.Shesatdownchangi ngt hechannel.Aft
    er
    yearsofwai t
    ing,
    Abewal kedi nthehouset hen
    l
    ookedatmeandMal col
    m bef or
    elookingat
    Sadi.Hewal kedovertohert hensatdown.
    "
    Didy
    ousi
    gnt
    hepaper
    s?"
    "
    No.
    "
    "Eazi
    Idon'
    twantt
    ofi
    ghtwi
    thyou.Ev
    ery
    one
    cankeepthei
    rownsot
    hatwecanhaveaqui
    ck
    peacef
    uldi
    vor
    ce.
    "
    Tear
    sit
    chedmyey
    es."
    Why
    ?"
    "
    Youknowwhy
    ?"
    "
    NoIdon'
    tAbe.
    "
    Sadi
    stoodupandl ookedatt
    hekids."
    Mal
    c,
    come.Letdaddyandmommyt al
    k."
    Malcol
    m gotupt
    henf
    oll
    owedaf
    terSadi
    .Abe
    l
    ookedatme.
    "Wehaven'
    tbeent ogetherforayear,
    Ihaven'
    t
    sleptwi
    thyouforay ear.I
    sn'tt
    hatsupposedto
    telly
    ousomething?"
    "
    Ithoughty
    ousai
    dyouf
    orgav
    eme.
    "
    "
    Yousl
    eptwi
    thmybr
    otherEazi
    ."
    "
    Iknow,
    Imadeami
    stake.
    "
    "
    Ifor
    gav
    eyoubi
    tthatdoesn'
    tmeanIst
    il
    lwant
    t
    obewithy
    ou.
    "
    Tear
    srol
    l
    eddownmycheeks."
    Whydi
    dn'
    tyou
    sayt
    hat
    ?Whywai
    tay
    eart
    otel
    lmet
    hat
    ?"
    "
    Ithoughty
    ouwi
    l
    lgett
    hehi
    nt.
    "
    "
    Howam Isupposedtogett
    hehintwhenev
    ery
    t
    imeaski
    fwear efi
    neyousayy
    es? "
    "Sadi
    ismygir
    lf
    ri
    end.Iwantadivor
    ce.I
    oveher
    andIdon'
    twantanythi
    ngst
    ressi
    ngherout.You
    sawhercondi
    ti
    on."
    "
    Iam notsi
    gni
    ngt
    hepaper
    s.Ican'
    tbel
    i
    eve
    y
    ou.
    ..
    "
    "
    Ify
    oudon'
    ti
    tsf
    ine.Iwi
    l
    ltakey
    out
    ocour
    t.
    "
    "
    Youar
    enotr
    epl
    aci
    ngmewi
    tht
    hatwoman.
    "
    "
    Sheal
    readyr
    epl
    acedy
    oui
    nmyhear
    t.
    "
    "Wow!Whydi dn'
    tyoutel
    lme?Whyst
    ri
    ngme
    along?I
    sthatyourrev
    enge?
    "
    "
    Cany oupl
    easeleav
    ewit
    hyourson?Idon'
    t
    wantSadif
    eel
    inguncomf
    ort
    abl
    e."
    "
    Iam notgoi
    ngany
    wher
    e.Thi
    sismyhouse.
    "
    "
    Eazi
    Idon'
    twantt
    ofi
    ghtwi
    thy
    ou.Leav
    e."
    "Iam notgoi
    ngany
    where!Andst
    opsayingy
    our
    son.Youclai
    medMalcol
    m asyourson!
    "
    "Goandgi
    vehi
    mt oTi
    no.Ifather
    edMal
    col
    m
    whenyouandIweret
    ogetherandnowweare
    not.
    "
    "
    Aftereveryt
    hing,t
    hisi
    swhatyousay?Af
    teral
    l
    y
    out ol
    dt hatboy?Hebeli
    evesyouar
    ehis
    f
    ather.
    "
    "
    Eazi
    pleasel
    eav
    e."
    Isatst
    ubbor
    nlyont
    hecouch.
    "
    Don'
    tfor
    cemet
    ousephy
    sical
    for
    ceony
    ou.
    "
    "
    Iam notgoi
    ngany
    wher
    e!"
    Abestoodupthenpul
    l
    edmebymyar
    m.
    Malcol
    m wal
    kedin.
    "
    Daddy
    !"
    Abeangr
    il
    ylookedatme."
    Takey
    oursonand
    getoutofmyhouse.
    "
    "
    Stopdoi
    ngt
    hisi
    nfr
    ontofhi
    m."
    "
    Ihav
    etr
    iedbei
    ngpat
    ientwi
    thy
    ou.
    "
    Hepulledneoutsidet
    henwal
    kedbacki
    nsi
    de
    thehousewherehecamebackwithmy
    handbagandMal c.
    "
    Malcol
    m,yourmotherandIbr
    okeup,
    Iam no
    l
    ongery
    ourfat
    her
    ."
    Malcolmtearf
    ull
    ylookedathi
    m."ButIdi
    dn'
    tdo
    any
    thing.Ihavebeenbehavi
    ng."
    "Iknowbuti
    fIam notwit
    hyourmom i
    tmeansI
    can'tbey
    ourdad.Yourr
    ealdadi
    sdead.
    "
    "
    ButIwanty
    ou.Il
    ovey
    ou.
    "
    "
    Bye.
    "
    Abegotbackinhi
    shouseandcl osedthedoor
    whil
    eMalcol
    m cri
    edsitt
    ingontheground.I
    sl
    owlygotupandpickedhim up.
    “
    Let
    ’sgo.
    ”
    “
    ButIwantdaddy
    .”
    “Mal
    col
    m,let
    ’sgo.Hedoesn’twanty
    ou
    anymor
    e.Weburiedyourdad.Remember
    ?”
    “
    Buthesai
    dhewoul
    dbemydadf
    orev
    er.
    ”
    Itookadeepbr
    eat
    h.“
    Peopl
    echange.Let
    ’sgo
    home.”
    Ipi
    ckedhi m upandplacedhiminthecarashe
    cri
    edhysteri
    cally
    .Igotint
    hefrontanddroveoff.
    Aft
    eraf ewkilometershefi
    nall
    ykeptqui
    et.I
    si
    ghedst oppingthecaronthesideoft
    her oad
    andlookedathi m.
    “Malc,Iam sorr
    ythisishappeni ng.Youonly
    haveme, Iam yourdadandy ourmom.Al ways
    havebeenr egardl
    essofhav ingAbe.Ihav e
    al
    way splayedthefatherroleiny ourl
    if
    e.Idon’t
    wanty outocryforhimlikethis,Iwanty outo
    pickyoursel
    fupbecausey oustillhav
    ey our
    numberonef an.Me!andIwi ll
    nev ersayyouare
    notmysonbecauseyouaremyson.Igav
    e
    bi
    rtht
    oyouandIloveyousomuch.Ok?”
    Henodded.
    “
    Good.
    ”
    Ir
    eachedforadr
    inki
    nthecool
    erboxandgav
    e
    i
    ttohim.
    “
    Ther
    e.Nomor
    ecr
    ying.
    ”
    Hesmil
    edandst
    art
    edsippi
    nghisdr
    ink.It
    ook
    myri
    ngi
    ngphoneandanswered.
    “
    Yeah?
    ”
    “
    Ther
    eisanot
    herwomanOt
    ie.Shei
    spr
    egnant
    .”
    “
    Ser
    ious?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Her
    eal
    l
    ywant
    sadi
    vor
    ce.
    ”
    “
    Buty
    ouknewt
    hat
    .”
    “
    Iknow,
    Ijustt
    houghtIwoul
    dmakesur
    e.”
    “
    Arey
    ousur
    enow?
    ”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok.Iexpect
    edi
    t.Ihadbeensuspect
    ingi
    t.
    ”
    “
    Sowhatnow?
    ”
    “Iam si
    gni
    ngt
    hepaper
    s,gett
    hedi
    vor
    cest
    art
    ed
    on.”
    “
    Ili
    ket
    hat
    .”
    “
    Imi
    ghthav
    ecausedascene.
    ”
    Helaughed.“
    Yourt
    eam wasal
    readyl
    osi
    ng,
    you
    j
    usthadtomakeitworse.
    ”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Stop.Iact
    edoutofemot
    ionsyou
    know.Iwal
    kedinawomanwhoi spregnantand
    sheseemsheretostay.
    ”
    “
    Women!
    ”
    “
    Yeah,
    buti
    t’
    sfi
    ne.Iwi
    l
    lsol
    dieron.
    ”
    “
    How’
    sMal
    c?”
    “
    Abebr
    okeupwi
    thhi
    mtoo.
    ”
    “
    Wow,
    somuchf
    ormat
    uri
    ty.
    ”
    “
    Tel
    lmeabouti
    tbuti
    t’
    scool
    .”
    "
    Dri
    vet
    otheai
    rpor
    t,Iwi
    l
    lmakeaphonecal
    l
    ."
    "
    No,Iam dr
    ivi
    ngt
    oMaun.Al
    ongdr
    ivewi
    l
    ldo
    megood."
    "
    Ok,
    butbecar
    eful
    .
    ”
    “
    Yeah.
    ..by
    e.”
    Ihungupandgr abbedthediv
    orcepaper sthen
    si
    gned.Ist
    artedthecarandcontinueddriv
    ing
    backhome.Iconnectedmyphonet otheradio
    andsangalongtoMeghanTr ainor-Badass
    womanmot ivat
    ingmy sel
    f.

    I
    ’
    m abadasswoman
    What
    ’swr
    ongwi
    tht
    hat
    ?
    Can’
    thol
    dmeback
    Yeah,
    Iam abadasswoman
    Justmadel
    i
    ket
    hat
    ButI
    ’
    m pr
    oudoft
    hat
    CauseI
    ’
    m abadasswoman

    *
    **

    Sadi
    lookedatAbe.
    “
    Babe,Idon’
    tthi
    nkyoushoul
    dhav
    espokent
    o
    t
    hatboyli
    kethat
    .”
    “
    Iwoul dn’
    thavespokentohi
    mli
    kethati
    fEazi
    j
    ustsignedthepapers,
    shewant
    stobeprai
    sed
    alot
    .”
    “Whatr
    eact
    iondi
    dyouexpectf
    rom her
    ?Shei
    s
    human.
    ”
    “Eazi
    knewi twasal
    lcomingtoanend.Iwas
    notperf
    ectinourmarri
    ageandshesl
    eptwit
    h
    mybr ot
    her.Ourmar
    riagewastoodamaged.
    Ther
    ewasnocomebackf
    rom t
    hat
    .”
    “Iunderstandthatbutbabe, t
    hisist
    hewoman
    whoj ustwalkedinonapr egnantwomanina
    househerhusbandst aysin.Icanseeshei
    snot
    av i
    olentperson,i
    fitwasanot herwomanout
    there,shewouldhav eattackedmei nmystat
    e
    butshesatt herecalmlytil
    lyoucame.She
    didn’tevensayanythingtome. ”
    “Sheisnotvi
    olent
    ,maybestupi
    dbutthat
    doesn’tmeananythi
    ng.Ij
    ustwantoutoft
    he
    narr
    iage.
    ”
    Sadi
    smi
    l
    ed.“
    Ok,
    Summeri
    ssl
    eepi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Howi
    sshef
    eel
    i
    ng?
    ”
    “Sheisfi
    nenow.Tomor
    rowshewi
    l
    lgot
    o
    school.
    ”
    Abeki
    ssedher
    .“Il
    ovey
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.Thanky
    ouf
    orst
    andi
    ngupt
    oour
    l
    ove.
    ”
    Herubbedherhugebumpsmi
    l
    ing.“
    Ican’
    twai
    t
    f
    orhim.”
    Sadi
    laughed.“
    Orher
    .”
    “
    Weshoul
    djustdoascan.
    ”
    “
    No,
    Iwanti
    ttocomeasasur
    pri
    se.
    ”
    Heki
    ssedheragai
    n.“
    Ok,
    Ihav
    etogobackt
    o
    wor
    k.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Sadismil
    edwat
    chi
    nghim wal
    koutt
    hensat
    downwatchi
    ngTVwit
    hherhandonher
    stomach.

    *
    **

    Tsot
    lhesl
    owlyopenedhereyesandsi
    ghed.
    Ti
    nowalkedoverstar
    ingather
    .
    “
    Hey
    ..
    ”
    “
    OhmyGod…myexam!
    ”
    Shesatuprightandl
    ookedatthedr
    iponher
    armreal
    izi
    ngshewasi nhospi
    tal
    .
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “
    Youwoul
    dn’
    twakeupi
    nthemor
    ning.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “Yes,ev
    ersincey
    ousl
    eptyesterday.Thedoct
    or
    saidhefoundsomesedat
    ivesiny ourbl
    ood
    str
    eam.”
    Sheshookherhead.“
    ButInev
    erdr
    ank
    anyt
    hing.
    ”
    “
    Whatdi
    dyoueat
    ?”
    “Iat
    efatcakesi
    nthemorni
    ngt
    henat
    ethe
    l
    unchIcookedlat
    erdur
    ingt
    heday
    .Andthe
    chocol
    ates.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    edi
    dyoubuyt
    hosechocol
    ates?
    ”
    “
    UhIgott
    hem asapeacegi
    ftf
    rom Br
    idget
    te.
    ”
    Tinofrowned.“
    Ithoughty
    ousai
    dthatgi
    rlhat
    es
    you.”
    “
    Shesai
    dshe-
    “
    “
    Whyar
    eyousodumb?
    ”
    “
    Yout
    hinkshepoi
    sonedme?
    ”
    “Ar
    eyouki
    ddi
    ngmeri
    ghtnow?Whenar
    eyou
    goi
    ngtogr
    owup?”
    Tsotl
    helookedathim whi
    l
    ehef
    umedwi
    th
    anger
    .“Ithought
    -“
    “
    Yout
    houghtwhat
    ?”
    “
    Ist
    hebabyok?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Shepr
    obabl
    ydi
    dn’twantmet
    owr
    it
    emy
    examsandshesucceded.
    ”
    “
    Ispoket
    otheschool
    .”
    “
    Youdi
    d?”
    “
    Yes.Iwanty
    out
    ocutof
    fal
    lcommuni
    cat
    ion
    wit
    hthatgi
    rl
    .St
    art
    ingfr
    om t
    odayIdon’
    twantt
    o
    hearany
    thi
    ngabouther
    .”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “Youar
    ebr
    ingi
    ngnewl
    i
    fei
    ntot
    hiswor
    ld,
    grow
    up.”
    Shel
    ookeddownl
    i
    steni
    ngt
    ohi
    mtal
    ki
    ngangr
    il
    y.
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”

    *
    *"

    Tendaiknockedsoftl
    yonLi
    na’sdoort
    hen
    walkedin.Li
    nalookedathi
    m asherassi
    stance
    walkedout.
    Shel
    ookedathi
    m.“
    Hi.
    .”
    “
    Hey
    ,canwet
    alk?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Hesatdown.“
    Abet
    oldmeaboutt
    hedi
    vor
    ce.
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    Ial
    readygott
    hebal
    lrol
    l
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Isn’
    tt hereawayt osl
    owi tdown?Hei snot
    t
    hinkingst r
    aight
    .HelovesEazi,
    that
    ’safact
    .I
    j
    ustdon’ twanthimtoregrethi
    schoicesint
    he
    f
    uture.”
    “
    Therei
    snothi
    ngIcando, youcan’
    tforcehi
    m
    t
    obewithEazi.Eazicheatedonhim andheis
    wal
    ki
    ngaway ,
    not hi
    ngwr ongwit
    hthat.”
    “Shewasgoi
    ngthoughal
    ot.Shedi
    dn’
    twakeup
    anddeci
    detocheat
    .”
    “
    Whyar
    eyousohel
    lbentont
    hiswoman?
    ”
    “Becauseshei
    sagoodwoman, sheist
    hebest
    thatAbehasevergott
    enandi
    t’
    sgoingt
    okil
    l
    him whenshef
    inall
    ymoveson.
    ”
    “Heishappywit
    hSadi.St
    opsecondguessi
    ng
    him.Ther
    eisnothi
    ngspecial
    aboutEazi
    other
    thansheisacheat
    er.
    ”
    “
    Youj
    usthat
    eherdon’
    tyou?
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    thateher
    ,Iam j
    ustdoi
    ngwhat
    ’sbestf
    or
    mycli
    entandheisl
    eavi
    ngher.
    ”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #75

    Binati
    edherhairtothebackwalkingi
    nsi
    de
    Scarl
    etBeautyParl
    orthensmil
    edataf ew
    cl
    ient
    swalkingtowardsheroff
    ice.Oneofher
    workerswalkedinheroff
    iceasshesatdown.
    “
    Boss…”
    “
    Hi.
    ”
    “Ther
    ewasamanher
    eear
    li
    eron,
    hewant
    edt
    o
    seeyou.
    ”
    Bi
    naf
    rowned.“
    Seeme?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Nowhei
    sback.
    ”
    “
    Hei
    sher
    e?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Lethi
    min.Ihopei
    t’
    simpor
    tant,
    Idon’tl
    ike
    peoplewhowastemytimeunnecessari
    l
    y,Iam
    abusywoman. ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    ltel
    lhi
    mtocomet
    hrough.
    ”
    Binawai
    tedt
    henamanwalkedi
    n.Shel
    ooked
    attheol
    dmanwit
    hafrown.
    “
    DoIknowy
    ou?
    ”
    “Yes.Icameher
    eforamassageandyoudi
    d
    mymassagesowonderful
    ly
    .Youhavereal
    l
    y
    softhands.
    ”
    “
    Ohok.
    ”
    “
    Whatwoul
    ditt
    aket
    otakeabeaut
    if
    ull
    adyl
    i
    ke
    y
    ouout?
    ”
    Bi
    nalughed.“Iam ol
    denought
    obey
    our
    gr
    anddaughter.
    ”
    Hesmi l
    ed.“
    Ageisj
    ustanumber,pl
    usyouar e
    j
    udgingmewi t
    hthi
    swhitebear
    d?Iam young.
    AndIknowmywayar oundawoman.Ihav e
    experi
    ence.
    ”
    “
    Youaretoooldforme,
    maybeyourson.Ei
    ther
    way
    ,Idon’tsl
    eepwit
    hmycl
    i
    ents.”
    “
    Comeonbaby
    …”
    “Haibo!Jesol
    ebakwano!Idon’
    tsl
    eepwi
    thmy
    cli
    ents.
    ”
    “
    Icant
    akecar
    eofy
    ou.
    ”
    Binalookedathi
    minut t
    erdisgustthenshook
    herhead.“Youar
    elosingit
    .Idon’tneedyouto
    takecareofme,Iam doingwellformyself
    .”
    “
    Icangiveyoumor et
    hant
    hat
    .Iownf
    armsand
    alotofl
    i
    vestock.
    ”
    “
    Youknowwhat
    ?Youar
    ebegi
    nni
    ngt
    ogeton
    mynerves,doIlookli
    key ourtype?Osekawa
    batl
    agonteka.Ont waetswakeng?Goanddi e
    i
    npeacebef or
    eIsendy oust r
    aightt
    othegr
    ave
    thi
    sver
    ymoment .Nxla!
    ”
    “
    Youhav
    enomanner
    s.”
    “
    Andyouhavenoshame.Takey
    ourwr
    inkl
    ed
    t
    est
    icl
    esoutofmyoff
    ice.
    ”
    Hewalkedoutt
    henshelaughedaloneinpur
    e
    di
    sbel
    i
    ef.Herworkerwal
    kedinlaughi
    ng.
    “
    Otshegangwena?
    ”
    “Iwant
    edyout
    ohearf
    oryour
    sel
    f,t
    hisoldman
    camethel
    astt
    imeanddi
    dthesamet o
    Owame.”
    “
    Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evet
    hisol
    dman,
    nxl
    a.”
    Theoffcephonerangt
    hensheanswer
    edasher
    workerwalkedout.
    “
    Scar
    letBeaut
    yPar
    lor
    ,hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Sur
    e,Iwoul
    dli
    ket
    omakeabooki
    ngf
    ora
    fr
    iendofmi ne.Iwanthertohavetheful
    l
    package.Moneyi snotanissue.AndIwanty
    ou
    tomakei textr
    aspecialf
    orher.”
    “Thatcanbear r
    anged,ourful
    lpackages
    i
    ncl udefullmassage,headtotall
    ,faci
    al
    treatment,depil
    ati
    on,ful
    lpediandmani cur
    e
    andar ti
    fi
    cialnai
    ls.I
    fshewants,weal sodo
    makeup. ”
    “
    No,
    nomake-
    up,
    butev
    ery
    thi
    ngel
    sey
    es.
    ”
    “
    Wehav
    eot
    hert
    reat
    ment
    swedoont
    hesi
    de.
    ”
    “Look,
    Iwanthert
    olookandfeelbeaut
    if
    ul.How
    muchisbookingt
    heenti
    respaforthewhole
    day?”
    “
    Uhwehav
    enev
    er-
    “
    “
    Is15kenough?
    ”
    Bi
    na’
    sheartski
    pped.“
    Yes.Thewholeday
    meani
    ngthetimeshewil
    lbeherer
    ight?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    That
    ’spossi
    ble.
    ”
    “
    Great
    ,Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lyouandsett
    hedat
    e.”
    “
    Whoi
    sthi
    s?”
    “
    Thatdoesn’
    tmat
    ter
    .”
    Hehungup, Binaputthephonedownand
    sighed.Shewonderedjusthowhelookedwi
    th
    thatkindofdeepsexyvoice.

    *
    **

    Tashafini
    shedt ypi
    ngt her epor
    tand
    i
    mmedi atel
    ysenti ttoherbosswi t
    hasigh.She
    reachedforherphoneandopenedher
    Facebook.Shescr oll
    edt hroughthenpausedat
    Abe’snewpr ofi
    l
    epi cture.Tashachuckled
    openingthepicturethenl ookedatthewoman
    withafrownwonder i
    ngwhathi sbrot
    hersawin
    thewoman.Butnowi tmadesensewhyhehad
    j
    ustdi
    sappeared.Shereact
    edonthepi
    ctur
    e
    wi
    thaheartthenconti
    nuedscrol
    l
    ingt
    hough.
    Herbossopenedt
    hedoorandbur
    gedi
    n.
    “DoIpayyout
    oroam ar
    oundf
    acebook
    str
    eet
    s?”
    Tashaqui
    ckl
    yputherphonedown.“
    Iam sor
    ry.I
    wasrepl
    yi
    ngtoanurgentmatt
    er.
    ”
    “
    Youmustbet
    hinki
    ngwear
    eher
    eforgames.
    ”
    Tashasatupr
    ight
    .“Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Whatdi
    dyousendme?
    ”
    “
    Ther
    epor
    tyouaskedf
    or.
    ”
    “Didy ouev enlooki nt
    oi toryouj ustsentit.I
    t’
    s
    fullofspelli
    nger ros,Idon’tknowwhaty ouare
    doingher eifyouar enotwi l
    l
    ingt owor k.Koore
    ot l
    akaAi dst hinkingy ouwillgetsomespeci al
    treatment.Ifyouwantspeaci altr
    eatment ,goto
    suppor tgroups.Iwantt hatreportintwenty
    mi nutesorconsi dery oursel
    ff i
    red.”
    ShewalkedoutthenTashasighedtearf
    ull
    y.The
    factt
    hatshebadlyneededt
    hej obmadei t
    i
    mpossibletoquitbutt
    heworkenvironment
    wasdraini
    nghersomuch.

    *
    **

    InMaun,Isteppedoutofthecarwit
    hMalcol
    m
    atahotelt
    henwal kedinsi
    dethehot
    el
    rest
    uar
    antwher eOntlawaswaiti
    ngforme.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Hey
    .”
    “
    Mal
    col
    m!”
    “
    Hiaunt
    y…”
    “
    Arey
    ouhungr
    y?”
    Mal
    col
    m shookhi
    shead.“
    No.
    ”
    Hesatdownal
    lqui
    et.Hehadbeenqui
    et
    t
    hroughoutt
    heent
    ir
    edr
    ive.
    Youcangoandpl
    ayatt
    heki
    d’ssect
    ion.
    ”
    “
    Iwantt
    osl
    eep.
    ”
    “
    Goanpl
    aywi
    thot
    herki
    ds,
    youwi
    l
    lsl
    eep.
    ”
    Il
    ookedatt
    heki
    dssecti
    onandnodded.He
    sl
    owlywal
    kedov
    erthenOnt
    lalookedatme.
    “
    Whathappened.
    ”
    “
    Hewant
    sadi
    vor
    ce.
    ”
    “
    Why
    ?”
    Il
    ookedather.“
    Alothappenedandheisri
    ght
    ,
    i
    twasnotwor ki
    ngoutsoIthinki
    t’
    sbestwego
    oursepar
    ateways.
    ”
    “Eazi
    ,Iam y
    oursist
    erandIknowyouar e
    keepi
    ngsomethingfrom me.Whathappened
    betweenyouandAbe? ”
    “
    Idon’
    twantt
    obej
    udged.
    ”
    “
    Iam t
    hel
    astper
    sont
    ojudge.Tel
    lme.
    ”
    Isighed.“Webothhur
    teachot herandsowe
    arewalkingaway.Healreadyhassomeonenew,
    Iam notgoingtofi
    ghtforthesinki
    ngsheep.
    ”
    “
    Hehassomeone?Hei
    scheat
    ing?
    ”
    “
    Sor
    tof
    .”
    “
    Whatdoy
    oumeansor
    tof
    ?”
    “Hehassomeonenewandshei
    spr
    egnant
    .I
    don’
    tbl
    amehim.”
    “Whatdi
    dyoudo?Iknowhewascheat
    ingand
    hewashidi
    ngthngsf
    rom y
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Isl
    eptwi
    thhi
    sbr
    other
    .”
    Ontl
    amet
    sipausedt
    alki
    ngandl
    ookedatme.
    “Li
    es!
    ”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    “
    Whi
    chbr
    other
    ?”
    “
    Tino.
    ”
    “
    Thenhest
    abbedy
    ouandshothi
    sbr
    other
    ,
    r
    ight
    ?”
    “
    Yeah.Buti
    t’
    sint
    hepast
    .”
    “
    Thi
    sguyal
    mostki
    l
    ledy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Ifor
    gav
    ehi
    m.”
    “
    Butsur
    pri
    singl
    ythi
    sfor
    giv
    enessi
    sonesi
    ded.
    ”
    “
    Itdoesn’
    tmat
    ter
    .Ij
    ustwantt
    omov
    eonwi
    th
    mylif
    e.”
    “
    Sohei
    sst
    ayi
    ngwi
    thher
    ?”
    “
    Shei
    spr
    egnant
    .”
    “
    Sowhathappened?Het
    oldy
    ou?
    ”
    “
    HesentLinat
    ocall
    meandt el
    lme.Ireceiv
    ed
    t
    hediv
    orcepaper
    sinthemorni
    ngthenIflew
    t
    her
    ewi t
    hMalcandfoundoutf
    ormy sel
    f.
    ”
    “Iam sorr
    y,y
    oudon’tdeser
    vethi
    s.Healso
    cheat
    , t
    heysaywhatamangi vestoyou,y
    ou
    multi
    ply.Hetaughty
    ouhowt ocheat,
    sameway
    youforgavehim ont
    heThabil
    eissueist
    he
    samewayheshouldhavefor
    giv
    enyou.Imean,
    i
    t’
    snotev
    enthathect
    ic.I
    t’
    snothisf
    ather
    .”
    “Idon’
    twanttofi
    ghtwi
    thAbeandkeepon
    hurti
    ngmyson.Wehavebeenthoughtsomuch,
    weneedabr eak.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry,
    Abeomar
    ete.
    ”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Stopi
    t,peopl
    ear
    est
    ari
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Iwantt
    oseet
    hiswoman.
    ”
    “Hepostedheronfacebookandcapt
    ionedt
    he
    pict
    ure‘
    MynewSt art
    ’.
    ”
    “
    Iwantt
    osee.
    ”
    It
    ookoutmyphoneandshowedher.
    Ontl
    amet
    sil
    ookedatt
    hepict
    ureandl
    aughed.
    “
    Heey
    ,what
    ’st
    his?
    ”
    “
    Stop.
    ”
    Ontl
    amet
    sil
    aughedhar
    der
    .“Your
    eal
    l
    ybr
    oke
    t
    hisman.
    ”
    “
    Shei
    snotbad.I
    tmustbet
    hepr
    egnancy
    .”
    “Hernosei stoobi
    g,shei
    sgoi
    ngtobreathei
    n
    allt
    heoxy gen.Shel
    ooksli
    keMr.I
    buwhenhe
    waspr et
    endingtobeawoman.Ngng, you
    real
    lyhurthim.Poorguy.
    ”
    Myphoner
    ang.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Somet
    hingcameup,
    Ihav
    etof
    lyout
    .”
    If
    rowned.“
    Buty
    ouj
    ustf
    lewi
    n.”
    “
    Iknow,
    butIhav
    etoat
    tendt
    oit
    .”
    “
    Can’
    tyoursur
    bodi
    nat
    esdoi
    t?”
    “
    Nah,
    itneedsmepersonal
    l
    y.Buty
    oucancome
    wi
    thi
    fyouwant.Youcanbri
    ngMalcol
    m.”
    “
    YouknowIcan’
    t.
    ”
    Otengchuckl
    ed.“
    Iwi
    l
    ltal
    ktoy
    ouwhenIget
    backthen.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hehungupt
    henIputmyphonedown.
    “
    Ist
    hatt
    hecr
    imi
    nal
    guy
    ?”
    “
    Whydoy
    oucal
    lhi
    mthat
    ?”
    “Becauseheisacri
    minal.Asmartone,never
    beencaught.Heassoci
    ateswit
    hdanger ous
    peopleonthetophi
    arach.St
    ayawayf r
    om him,
    heisbadnews.”
    “
    Howdoy
    ouknowal
    lthat
    ?”
    “If
    oundout
    .Stayawayf
    rom hi
    m.Heisbad
    news.GodknowsIwoul
    dchooseAbeoverhi
    m
    anygiv
    enday.
    ”
    “
    Hei
    saf
    ri
    end.
    ”
    “
    Stayawayfrom hi
    m Eazi.Heisbadnews,y
    ou
    wanttobri
    ngacriminal
    ar oundMal
    colm?Heis
    worsethanAbe.
    ”
    “
    Ont
    la-
    “
    “Hewasonceaccusedofrappi
    ngatoddl
    er.He
    gotawaywi
    thitbecausehehasenoughmoney
    plushepul ledaf ewst ri
    ngs.I sthi
    sthekindof
    many ouwant ?Ri ghtnowt herearereport
    sthat
    hei sassociatedwi ththeNi gerianmant hatgot
    arrestedforhumant rafficki
    ng.Heobv iousl
    yis
    partofi t
    ,areyousur et hisisthekindofman
    youwantt obringneary ourselforev
    ennear
    Mal colm?”
    Il
    ookedatherwhi
    l
    emyhear
    tpounded.
    “Thisguydealswi
    thCocaine.Don’taskhim,
    theyusuall
    ygetri
    dofanythreatsorloopholes.
    Alotofpeoplehavewentmi ssi
    ngbutIam j ust
    tel
    lingyoutobesureofyoursel
    f.Heisadr ug
    l
    or d.Arapi
    standalotofothert
    hings.Stay
    awayf r
    om him,heisbad.
    ”

    *
    **

    Latert
    hatday,
    Abejumpedinhiscarandwent
    thr
    oughhisphoneexpect
    ingt
    oseet onsof
    messagesormissedcall
    sbutther
    ewas
    nothi
    ngbutSadi
    ’smissedcal
    l.Hecal
    l
    edher
    back.
    “
    Heybabe…”
    “
    Isawt
    hemi
    ssedcal
    l
    ,isev
    ery
    thi
    ngok?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Couldyoubri
    ngmesomechocolat
    e
    muff
    ins?Iam cr
    avi
    ngthem sobadl
    y.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou,
    bye.
    ”
    “
    Lov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    Hehungupanddr
    oveoff
    .Hethought
    ful
    l
    y
    r
    eachedf
    orhi
    sphoneandcal
    l
    edEazi.
    “
    Yes?
    ”
    “
    Iwantt
    osel
    lthehouse.Howl
    ongcanIgi
    ve
    y
    outi
    lly
    oumov eout
    ?”
    “
    Uh,
    adayort
    wowhi
    l
    eImov
    e.”
    “
    Ok,
    hav
    eyousi
    gned?Idon’
    twantust
    ofi
    ght
    .”
    “Isi
    gned.Iscannedthedocumentt
    omyl
    awy
    er,
    hewillkeepintouchwit
    hLina.
    ”
    “
    IknowIam hur
    ti
    ngy
    oubut
    -“
    “
    Noyouarenot
    .Youhavesetmef r
    ee,
    thank
    y
    ou.Iwi
    l
    lbeoutofyourhousebef
    oreyouknow
    i
    t.
    ”
    Shehungupthenhel
    ookedathisphone
    wonderi
    ngwhathadj
    usthappened.

    *
    **

    Attheai
    rport
    ,Ot
    engsteppedoutofhi
    scousi
    n’
    s
    carhol
    dinghi
    ssmall
    bag.
    “
    Whydon’
    tyouj
    ustmakeamov
    e?”
    OtenglookedatBar r
    y.“
    Iwanthertoleaveon
    herownwi thouthavi
    ngtofeel
    pressuri
    zed.
    Aftert
    hatIwi l
    lhavemyfai
    rchance.”
    “
    Theyar
    egoi
    ngt
    otakeher
    .”
    “
    Bat
    lany
    elabl
    i
    nd.
    ”
    Hisphonerangfrom hispockett
    henhe
    answeredwalki
    nginsidetheair
    port
    .
    “
    Yes?
    ”
    “
    Isi
    ttruet
    hatyouarei
    ntoi
    l
    legal
    deal
    i
    ngsand
    t
    hatyousel
    lcocai
    ne?”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #76

    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Isi
    ttr
    uet
    haty
    ouar
    eint
    oil
    l
    egal
    deal
    i
    ngs?
    ”
    Hesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Eazi
    ,wher
    edi
    dyougett
    hat
    ?”
    “
    That’
    snotwhatIwantar
    oundmyson.Hei
    s
    r
    eal
    lyhur
    ti
    ngri
    ghtnow.”
    “Iwoul
    dneverbr
    ingsucht
    hingst
    oyouory
    our
    sonoranyonecl
    osetome.Wheredi
    dyouget
    thati
    nfor
    mati
    on?”
    “
    Thatdoesn’
    tmat
    ter
    ,ar
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Thi
    sisnotsomet
    hingIwantt
    odi
    scussov
    er
    t
    hephone.
    ”
    “Whynot?I
    t’
    sonlyamat
    teroft
    ell
    i
    ngmei
    fyou
    areori
    fyouarenot
    .”
    “
    CanIcomet
    her
    e?”
    “
    No!
    ”
    “
    Iam comi
    ng.Wheredi
    dyougetal
    lthi
    s
    i
    nfor
    mati
    on?Youknowwhat?I
    t’
    sfi
    ne.”
    Hehungupandlookedatthet
    imethought
    ful
    l
    y
    t
    hentookhi
    sotherphoneandcal
    l
    edanumber .
    “
    Yah?
    ”
    “Iam notcomi
    ngint
    oni
    ght
    .Ihav
    eani
    ssueI
    needtosquash.
    ”
    “
    Can’
    tyousor
    titwheny
    our
    etur
    n?”
    “
    No,
    it’
    sur
    gent
    .”
    “
    Andy ouknowhowi
    mpor
    tantt
    hisi
    s,y
    ouknow
    what
    ’satstake.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    ouquest
    ioni
    ngme?
    ”
    “
    NoI
    -“
    “
    Youwhat
    ?”
    “
    Not
    hing,
    seey
    out
    omor
    row.
    ”
    Otenghungupt hentookoutthesim andt
    hrew
    i
    tint hebi
    n.Hewentt ot
    heinfotabl
    emakinga
    phonecallwithhi
    sphone.Theladyatthetabl
    e
    smiledathim.Helookedathernamet agand
    smiledhangingup.
    “
    Ikageng,
    Iwantt
    ogot
    oMaun.I
    sther
    e
    somet
    hingf
    lyi
    ngout
    .”
    “
    Uhy
    es.Buti
    n20mi
    nut
    es.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    ear
    eal
    l
    yneededassether
    e.”
    Shebl
    ushedashesmi
    l
    edather
    .“Thanks.
    ”
    “
    Iwantt
    ogeti
    nthatf
    li
    ght
    .”
    “
    Ok,
    letmeseehowIcanhel
    pyou.
    ”

    *
    **

    AtOntl
    a’
    shouse, IlookedatMal col
    m sleeping
    onthebed,hehadn’ tbeenonhisbestmood.I
    wal
    kedov ertohimt henlaybesi
    dehim
    car
    essi
    nghi sface.Ithought
    full
    yreachedf or
    myphoneandcal l
    edmyt herapi
    st.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Hi
    ,Iam sor
    ryf
    orcal
    li
    ngsol
    ate.Butsomet
    hing
    happenedandi
    t’
    saff
    ecti
    ngMalc.
    ”
    “
    Thedi
    vor
    ce?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Isawthatcomi
    ng.Hemustbet
    aki
    ngi
    tbadl
    y
    t
    ohaveyouguyssepar
    ated.
    ”
    “Abebrokeupwithhimtoo.Itwaspai
    nful
    to
    watch.Ir
    egretbr
    ingi
    nghim wit
    h,j
    ustt
    hathe
    cri
    edtocomewi th.
    ”
    “
    Iunderst
    and,
    youwantt
    obr
    inghi
    mfor
    t
    herapy
    ? ”
    “
    Ist
    hatpossi
    ble.
    ”
    “Yes.Butit’
    sbesthegetsthatcounsel
    i
    ngfrom
    you.Youar etheonewhocanmakehi m
    understandmor et
    hanat ot
    alstr
    angercando.
    Don’tforget
    ,heisjustaki
    d.”
    “Ijustcan’
    tbel
    i
    eveAbedi
    dthatbutIdon’
    t
    blamehi m.”
    “Tal
    ktoMalc,makehim under
    stand.Expl
    ain
    proper
    lywi
    thoutpai
    nti
    nganyonebad.Hei sjust
    aki
    d.”
    “
    Ok,
    thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Whatabouty
    ou?Howar
    eyout
    aki
    ngi
    t?”
    “
    Iam hur
    tbutIwi
    l
    lbef
    ine.
    ”
    “
    Ok.Seey
    ou.
    ”
    Ihungupandcov eredhim wi
    thablanket
    ki
    ssinghisf
    orehead.Icl
    osedmyey est hi
    nki
    ng
    ofwhatOntl
    amet sihadsaidaboutOteng.My
    phonerangthenIreachedforit
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi,
    it’
    sTi
    no.
    ”
    “
    Oh,
    hiTi
    no.
    ”
    “
    Ihear
    dwhathappened.Iam r
    eal
    l
    ysor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sal
    lmyf
    aul
    t-
    “
    “
    Youdi
    dn’tr
    apeme.Iwaswi ll
    ing,
    noneedto
    t
    akeal
    lther
    esponsi
    bil
    i
    ty.Iheardabouty
    our
    weddi
    ng.Congr
    atul
    ati
    ons.
    ”
    “
    Yeah,
    thanks.
    ”
    “
    Bye.Don’
    twor
    ryaboutme.Iam f
    ine.
    ”
    Ihungupandanswer
    edani
    ncomi
    ngcal
    l
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Ihavej
    ustl
    andedi
    nMaun,
    wher
    edoesy
    our
    sist
    erst
    ay?”
    “
    Youar
    eher
    e?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Ithoughty
    ouhadt
    oleav
    e.”
    “
    Iwantt
    otal
    ktoy
    oubef
    oreIl
    eav
    e.”
    “
    Uhl
    etmesendy
    out
    hedi
    rect
    ions.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Ihungandsenthi mt hedirect
    ionstoget
    herwit
    h
    theaddress.Igotoffbedandputonhergown
    andfli
    psflops.Icaughtagl i
    mpseofmy selfon
    themirr
    ort henfi
    xedt hedoek.Minutesl
    atermy
    phonev i
    brat
    edthenIwal kedoutoft
    hehouse
    tohiscarwhichwaspar kedatthegat
    e.He
    smiledasIgotin,Il
    ookedathim andsmil
    ed
    back.
    “
    Stoplooki
    ngatmel
    i
    ket
    hatandt
    ell
    met
    he
    t
    rut
    h.”
    “
    Wher
    eisy
    ourphone?
    ”
    “
    Her
    e.”
    Hetookitthent
    appedi
    tforawhile.“Whot
    old
    youal
    lthosethi
    ngs?Wasityoursist
    er?
    ”
    “
    No.
    ”
    “I
    sthatl
    i
    esupposedt
    obeconvi
    nci
    ng?You
    shoul
    dworkonyourl
    yi
    ngski
    l
    ls.
    ”
    “
    Isi
    ttr
    ue?
    ”
    “Idon’
    twanttolietoy ou,
    Ineverwanttoli
    eto
    you.Iam notperfectandIneversaidIwas.I
    gotwhereIam wi thhardwork.Ididn’
    tgoto
    univer
    sit
    y,If
    ini
    shedwi thschoolandhustl
    ed.
    NotthatIf ail
    edEazi , Iactuallygot48points
    wit
    hmer i
    ts.IdidmyA- level andalsopassed
    wit
    hf l
    yi
    ngcol ors.Iwasgoi ngtost udy
    somewher ei nt heUKbuti fIhadgoneI
    wouldn’
    tbeher et oday .Ihav ealway sbeena
    hustl
    er,Iwor khar df orever ythi
    ngIhav eandt he
    si
    dehust l
    esar ej ustsi dehust l
    es.Idowhat
    bri
    ngsmemoney , notthatIgoar oundkill
    i
    ng
    peopleort raf
    ficki ngpeopl e,that’
    snotmyl ine
    butIam notal l good.Imaybebadbutnott hat
    bad.Iam notgoi ngt ot el
    ly ouany thi
    ngasy et
    ,
    maybei nthef ut ure.”
    Ilookedathi
    m andsi
    ghed.“
    Isi
    ttr
    uet
    haty
    ou
    rapedatoddl
    er?”
    “No.That’snott
    rue.Iam notpedophi
    le.Ihave
    sibl
    i
    ngst oo.If
    oundt hatkidl
    yingonthesideof
    theroadalmostdy i
    ngbutnoonewi ll
    seet he
    goody oudo.Anythingelse?”
    Ishookmyhead.“
    No.
    ”
    “
    Wegood?
    ”
    Inodded.“
    Yes.
    ”
    Helookedatmyf
    inger
    sandsmi
    l
    ed.“
    Yout
    ook
    of
    fthering?
    ”
    Il
    ookedatmybar
    efi
    nger
    .“Itwasaboutt
    ime.
    NowIneedtomoveoutbecausehewantsto
    sel
    lhi
    shouse.
    ”
    “
    Doy
    ouhav
    eapl
    acet
    ogo?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Iam sor
    ted.
    ”
    “
    Icanl
    endy
    oumyt
    ruckst
    ohel
    pyoumov
    e.”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Howl
    ongwi
    l
    lyoubeher
    e?”
    “
    Iam l
    eavi
    ngtomorr
    ow.Il
    ovetheJeepbyt
    he
    way
    .Isthecarr
    ent
    alcompanyyour
    s?”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    CanIdr
    ivebackhomewi
    thi
    t?”
    “
    Aft
    ery
    ouj
    ustt
    hrewanumberofaccusat
    ions
    atme?
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.Ij
    usthadt
    obesur
    e.It
    houghtwe
    wer
    efri
    ends?”
    Hechuckl
    ed.“
    It
    ’sok.
    ”
    “
    Assoonast hediv
    orcei
    sfi
    nal
    izedIam buy
    ing
    mysel
    fthecarIhaveal
    wayswanted!
    ”
    “
    Arey
    oumar
    ri
    edi
    ncommuni
    tyofpr
    oper
    ty?
    ”
    “
    Yesbutev
    ery
    onei
    skeepi
    ngt
    hei
    rownshar
    e.”
    “
    That
    ’sgood.
    ”
    “
    YesbutIwantt owaitt
    il
    lthedivor
    ceis
    f
    inal
    izedsoIcanjustbefr
    ee.That’swhyIal
    so
    wanttowaitwit
    hthesmall busi
    nessIhadin
    mind.”
    “
    Indul
    geme.
    ”
    Ismil
    edtel
    li
    nghim aboutt
    hebusinessi
    dea
    thenhenodded.“
    That’
    simpressi
    ve.”
    “
    Isi
    t?”
    “Yes.
    ”Headjustedhi
    sseatandgav
    emeaf
    ew
    point
    ersr
    elaxed.
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    “
    Whydi
    dn’
    tyouhav
    eki
    dswi
    thhi
    m?”
    “Ilostthefi
    rstone, aft
    eraday .ThenIwasreall
    y
    traumat i
    zed,Ididn’twantababyf orthel
    ongest
    ti
    meandwhenIdi d,Icaughthim wit
    htheex
    andt henitallhappened.”
    “
    Doy
    ouwantt
    ohav
    emor
    eki
    dsi
    nthef
    utur
    e.”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Yes,
    twoi
    senough.Orone.
    ”
    “
    Two.
    ”
    “
    Iam goodwi
    thany
    thi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Woul
    dyouwantt
    ogetmar
    ri
    edagai
    n?”
    “Idon’
    tknow.Idon’
    twantt
    ogetdi v
    orcedagai
    n
    andagain.Seemsli
    keIam notgoodatkeepi
    ng
    mymar ri
    agesint
    act
    .”
    “
    Ort
    hosey
    oumar
    ri
    edwer
    enotgoodi
    n
    cher
    ishi
    ngy
    ou.
    ”
    “Idi
    dn’tev enenjoymyfir
    stwedding,
    wedi dn’
    t
    evenhav eaweddi ng,wewenttocourt.Then
    withAbe, Ireci
    evedhispornwit
    hThabilejust
    minutesbef oreIwalkeddowntheail
    se.That
    wasthewor stdayofmyl i
    fe.
    ”
    “
    Yournextweddi
    ngwi
    l
    lbeper
    fect
    .”
    “
    Idoubt
    .Idon’tthi
    nkIam dest
    inedt
    ohav
    ea
    f
    amil
    y.Ever
    ythingalway
    sfall
    sapart
    .”
    “Becauseitwasnevermeanttobe.Wheny ou
    forcethi
    ngstheywil
    lfal
    lapart
    .Ev
    enwhen
    hustli
    ng,i
    fyoufor
    ceahust l
    e,i
    twil
    lfal
    lapart
    .”
    “Youdon’tunderst
    and,Abesol
    dmedr eams.
    Thefir
    stfewmont hsofusdati
    ngwereperfect
    .
    Hewasev er
    ythi
    ngy oucoul
    deverwi
    shfor.Ti
    ll
    theengagement.”
    “
    Hewaspr
    ovi
    ncht
    hathei
    snotl
    i
    key
    ourex.
    ”
    “
    Andhedi
    dandIappr
    eci
    atei
    t,hewasal
    esson
    Ineeded.Notall
    sparkl
    i
    ngisdi
    amond.Nott
    hat
    Iam enti
    rel
    yblaminghi
    m,Ial
    sopl
    ayedmypart
    but…”
    “
    Ihav
    etokeepy
    ouawayf
    rom mybr
    other
    s.”
    Ilaughed.“Iwoul
    dneverdot
    hatagai
    n.Iam not
    l
    ikethat,Idon’
    tevenknowwhatgoti
    ntome
    thatday.”
    “Thespir
    itofr
    ev engedi
    d.Youwant
    edtohurt
    him andyoudid.Youneedmypastort
    oprayfor
    you.
    ”
    Igasped.“
    Yougot
    ochur
    ch?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Why
    ?ThoughtIwasanal
    lti
    mesi
    nner
    ?”
    “Youjustdon’
    tlookl
    i
    ket
    het
    ypet
    ogot
    o
    church.
    ”
    “IgotochurchandIl oveit.Noonej udgesyou
    atchurch,i
    t’
    sliket
    het oil
    et.I
    tdoesn’tchoose
    theki
    ndofshi ttoaccept,notthatIam
    compar i
    ngGodt othet oi
    let.
    ”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evey
    ousai
    dthat
    .Hel
    l
    !”
    Helaughed.“
    Idi
    dn’
    tmeanitli
    kethat
    ,Iam j
    ust
    sayi
    ng,Godaccept
    sev
    eryone.Ev
    ent woti
    me
    div
    orcees.
    ”
    “
    Iwoul
    dlov
    etogo.
    ”
    “WhenIcomebackfrom t
    hist
    ri
    pIwil
    ltakeyou.
    Toshowy ouIam achur
    chgoer,
    Ihav
    et hi
    s
    bibl
    eappinmyphone.”
    Het ookouthisphonethenenteredhis
    passcodeandopenedt hebibleapp.Ismi
    led
    i
    mpr essed,amessagereportedcomingtothe
    screen.Ireadthefewwordsandt r
    ied
    snatchingthephone.
    “
    Isawmyname!Who’
    sBar
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Mycousi
    n.”
    “
    Isawmyname.
    ”
    Hel
    aughed.“
    Yournamei
    saadv
    erb.
    ”
    Il
    aughedt
    ryi
    ngt
    ogethi
    sphone.“
    No,
    itwas
    wri
    tt
    enEazigotyousomet
    hingsomet
    hing.
    .I
    di
    dn’tseepr
    oper
    ly,l
    etmer
    ead.”
    Icr
    awledovert
    ohimtry
    ingtogett
    hephone.
    Welaughedfi
    ghti
    ngf
    orthephone.
    “
    Whatar
    eyouhi
    ding?Letmer
    ead.
    ”
    Igotthephonethenheputhishandsonmy
    waistwhi
    leIsatontopofhim openingthe
    message.Ilookedathi
    m andsmi l
    edreadi
    ng.
    “Take…”Ist
    ret
    chedt
    hephonet
    ohi
    m wi
    tha
    smile.
    “
    Whatdi
    dyousee?
    ”
    “
    Not
    hing.
    ”
    Helookedi
    nmyey esandtouchedmychi
    n.
    “Howlongi
    sthedivor
    cesupposedtot
    aketi
    l
    l
    ever
    ythi
    ngi
    sfinal
    i
    zed?”
    “
    Acoupl
    eofmont
    hs.
    ”
    “
    Iwantt
    owai tt
    il
    lyourdi
    vor
    ceisfi
    nali
    zed,t
    il
    l
    y
    ouareready
    .Wheny ouarenolongerhur
    ti
    ng.I
    wantacl
    eanstar
    twhichi
    snott
    aint
    edby
    any
    thi
    ngofthepast
    .”
    Ilookedathishandsomefacegoingtohisli
    ps,
    Icouldfeelhi
    sdickbeneat
    hmeandsomet hing
    toldmehewasmor ethanjustbl
    essed.Il
    eaned
    ov erandki
    ssedhim.

    *
    **

    Abeheldhisphonel
    i
    steni
    ngtoEazi
    ’sphone
    ri
    ng.Hetr
    iedacoupl
    eoftimesti
    l
    litact
    uall
    ygot
    answer
    ed.
    “
    Hey
    ,canwet
    alk?
    ”
    Ther
    ewassi
    l
    ence,
    hel
    ookedatt
    hephone.
    “Hel
    l
    o?”
    Hewai t
    edthenreal
    i
    zedshehadansweredher
    phonebymi st
    akeandthatshewaspr
    obably
    sl
    eeping.Ashewasabouttohangup,heheard
    hergiggl
    eaccompani edbyadeepmal evoice.
    Hisheartbegunpoundi ngwildl
    yashel ist
    ened
    morecarefull
    y.Thev oi
    ceswer emuf f
    ledbuthe
    coul
    dhearherv oicewi t
    hamal ev oi
    ce.Hehung
    upandcal l
    edheragai nbutthephoner ang
    unanswered.Fumi ngwithanger,hetypedhera
    message.
    Sadiwal
    kedi
    nsi
    det
    hesi
    tt
    ingr
    oom.“
    Babe,
    are
    youok?”
    “
    Yeah.Ihav
    etomakeabusi
    nesscal
    l
    .”
    Shesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Ok.
    ”
    Shewalkedawayt henhel ookedathi
    sphone
    wait
    ingforherresponse.Thethoughtofher
    wit
    hanot hermanmadehi m br eat
    heheavi
    ly
    ,hi
    s
    angermul t
    ipl
    yi
    ng.Hesentt hemessagehehad
    beentypi
    ng.
    Abe:youar
    esol ose,Idon'tevenknowwhyI
    marri
    edyou.Youarear east r
    eetwhorethat
    ever
    yonecanjustdipin.Ipit
    yMal col
    m,havi
    ng
    alosepantr
    yofamot herist
    heworstt
    hingthat
    canhappentoanyone.NowIseewhyGodl et
    Lel
    entl
    edie.Youdi
    dn'tdeser
    veher
    .Youarea
    sl
    ut.

    *
    **

    I
    nthecar,
    Otengsqueezedmybuttt
    henseal
    ed
    of
    fthehotki
    sswit
    hababykiss.
    “
    Yoursi
    steri
    sout
    .”
    Igotoffhimthenlookedthehugebuldgeonhi
    s
    pants.It
    urnedtoOntlast
    andingbythedoor
    star
    ingatus.Shegotbackinsidet
    hehouse
    shakingherhead.
    “
    Ihav
    etogo,
    Mal
    col
    m maywakeup.
    ”
    Otengsmiled.“Iam dr
    ivi
    ngtoGabs.Iam
    l
    eavingtomorrowear l
    ymorning.Gett
    hedi
    vor
    ce
    st
    artedon.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hel
    eanedoverandkissedmeagai
    n.Helooked
    i
    nmyey esf
    orawhilethenl
    eanedback.“
    Go.”
    Ireachedf
    ormyphoneonhi sseatandst epped
    outwithwetpanti
    eswhi lemycli
    tthrobbed.I
    openedthedoor,tur
    nedandwav edathi m.He
    fl
    ashedhisli
    ghtsoncethenIgotinthehouse.I
    passedOntl
    acomi ngfrom theki
    tchenand
    smiledassheglaredatme.Ishruggedandgot
    i
    nsidetheguestroom closi
    ngthedoor .
    “
    Ifhet
    ri
    esi
    t,Iam goi
    ngt
    obl
    owof
    fhi
    shead!He
    i
    sbadnews!
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oosi
    s,goodni
    ght
    .”
    Ilayonthebedwi t
    hasmi l
    ethenclosedmy
    eyestryi
    ngtosleepbutIputmyhandsonmy
    facelaughi
    ngfeeli
    ngli
    keateenager.
    Myphoner
    ang,
    Iqui
    ckl
    yanswer
    edi
    tandspoke
    sof
    tl
    y.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Soyouar
    enowanoff
    ici
    alwhor
    e?Openi
    ng
    y
    ourl
    egsf
    orev
    ery
    thi
    ngandevery
    one?
    ”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #77

    Isatupr
    ightst
    ari
    ngatthescreent
    henputback
    t
    hephoneonmyear .“
    What ?”
    “
    Youcoul
    dn’
    twai
    ttowhor
    ear
    oundcoul
    dyou?
    ”
    “
    Whatarey
    outal
    kingaboutAbedi
    l
    e?Ormay
    be
    y
    oudial
    edthewr
    ongnumber ?
    ”
    “
    Iam t
    alki
    ngtoyouEazi!Ir
    eal
    l
    ythoughty
    ou
    wer
    ebettert
    hanthat
    .”
    Isi
    ghed.“
    Idon’tknowwhatyouaretal
    ki
    ng
    about
    ,youarelooki
    ngforaf
    ightandIam not
    goi
    ngtogiveittoyou.
    ”
    “Youansweredyourphoneonpurposesot
    hatI
    canhearyourwhori
    shway s.Whowereyou
    with?
    ”
    “Abepleaseleavemeal one.Iam hangi ngup
    becausethiscallisnotbenefitt
    ingmei nany
    way .Whyarey ousobot heredwi t
    hwhatIdo
    withmyl i
    fe?Youhav eSadi andy ourunborn
    chil
    dont heway ,canyouf ocusont hatinst
    ead
    ofharassingme?Iam noti nthemood. ”
    “Soyounowknowhowt ot
    alkwithconfi
    dence?
    ThatsweetEazi
    Iknewwasjustapret
    ense.”
    “Goodnight
    ,Iam bl
    ocki
    ngyournumber
    becauseyouandIhavenothi
    ngtodi
    scuss.
    From nowon,communicat
    ewi t
    hmylawyer
    .”
    “
    Otl
    i
    legoswabaEazi
    .”
    Ihungupr
    oll
    i
    ngmyey
    es.Iswi
    tchedof
    fthe
    l
    ightt
    hencr
    awl
    edonbed.Abecal
    l
    edback
    agai
    n.
    “Kanteompat l
    angmonnawamodi mo?( What
    doy ouwantf rom me? )Youexpectedmet o
    comer unningandcr yi
    ngaf t
    eryoudidn’tyou?
    That’snotgoingt ohappen,Ihavebeendone
    withthi
    smar r
    iageforthelongestti
    mebutonl y
    thatIwasindeni albecauseIlovedyou.Iam
    happyf ory
    ouandy ourpregnantgir
    lfr
    iend.
    Leavemeal one.”
    “Ketli
    l
    egogony edisa, wat senwa.(Iam going
    tofuckyouup,youar ecr azy.
    )Af t
    ersleeping
    wit
    hmybr otherthisist heat ti
    tudeyoubr i
    ngt o
    me.Iam comingt her e,youar egoingt osayall
    youaresayi
    ngt omyf ace.Ket li
    l
    egogot huba
    kaclapa.Wantlwael a.”
    “Thisti
    mearoundIam r
    epor
    tingyoutothe
    poli
    ceandyouaregoingtor
    otinjail
    .Tr
    yit
    ,Iam
    recordi
    ngt
    hiscal
    landIam t
    akingittot
    he
    poli
    ce.”
    “Youaresoful
    lofyour
    selfbutIam goi
    ngtofi
    x
    thatat
    ti
    tudewhenIgetthere.Otshamekel
    amo
    gonna.Iam notdonewithyou.”
    “
    Youar
    egoi
    ngt
    ojai
    l
    ,Ipr
    omi
    sey
    out
    hat
    .”
    “
    ThenIam goi
    ngtomakei tworthmywhi
    l
    e,I
    wi
    ll
    notgotojai
    lforapet
    tyissue.”
    “
    Abewhatdoy ouwantf
    rom me?Canyouleave
    mealone!Youwantadi
    vor
    ceandIam noteven
    f
    ight
    ingit
    .”
    “
    Youaredisr
    espectful
    andIam goi
    ngt
    oput
    t
    hatbehav
    iorincheck.
    ”
    “
    Whatdoyouwantfr
    om me.Yougotanot
    her
    womanpr
    egnant
    !”
    “
    Iam comi
    ngt
    her
    e,y
    ouoweme!
    ”
    Ihungupt henblockedhi snumber.Icl
    osedmy
    eyestakingadeepbr eath.Myphoner angagain
    thenIreachedforitreadytotell
    him whereto
    getoffbutOteng’snamef l
    ashedonmyscr een
    t
    henIsmi
    l
    edanswer
    ing.
    “
    Aren’
    tyoudr
    ivi
    ng?
    ”
    “Myphoneisconnect
    edt
    othebl
    uet
    oot
    h.We
    aregood.
    ”
    “Ok,becauseIal
    mostgotchar
    gedf
    orusi
    ngmy
    phonetheotherti
    me.
    ”
    “I
    fyougi
    vet
    hem enoughmoney
    ,theyl
    ety
    ou
    go.”
    “
    Youbr
    ibecops?
    ”
    Hel
    aughed.“
    Likeanyotherhumanbei
    ngout
    t
    her
    eEazi.Not
    hingint
    ense.”
    “
    What’
    ssoimpor
    tantt
    haty
    ouhav
    etoat
    tendt
    o
    i
    tper
    sonal
    l
    y?”
    “Oneofmyt r
    uckscaughtfireinSouthAfr
    ica
    andallgoodswer edestroyed.Thedri
    veris
    cri
    ti
    calatthehospit
    al,Il
    iketobehandsonsoI
    wanttoattendtotheissuemy sel
    f.Mycli
    ents
    wil
    lbewai t
    ingformyr esponse.”
    “
    Oh…Igeti
    t.
    ”
    “Iam soti
    red,
    keaot
    sel
    a,(
    Iam sl
    eepy
    )don’
    t
    stoptal
    ki
    ng.”
    “
    Youcoul
    dhav
    ewentbackt
    omor
    row.
    ”
    “
    Thereisnoearl
    yfli
    ghttoGabst omorr
    owand
    youknowIhatedelays.Ei
    therway,i
    fIstay
    ed
    t
    hereIam notsur
    ei fIwouldhavecontr
    oll
    ed
    myself
    .”
    Ibl
    ushedthi
    nki
    ngoft
    heki
    ss.“
    Youshoul
    dn’
    t
    hav
    eleft
    .”
    “Iam notgoingt odoanythingwit
    hy outi
    l
    lyour
    divorceisfi
    nal.Iam notgoingtobeaside
    piece.Aslongasy ouaremar ri
    ed,Iwil
    lbea
    sidething.Idon’tl
    i
    kesharing.”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    laskmyl
    awy
    erhowl
    ongi
    tcant
    ake.
    ”
    “
    Dot
    hat
    .”
    Iy
    awnedl
    yi
    ngonmysi
    de.“
    Iam sosl
    eepy
    .”
    “
    Sing.
    ”
    “
    Iam ahor
    ri
    blesi
    nger
    .”
    “
    Justsi
    ng.
    ”
    Myphonebeepedr
    ingi
    ng.Il
    ookedatt
    hecal
    l
    er.
    “
    Oteng,
    mamai
    scal
    l
    ing.Letmet
    alkt
    oher
    .”
    Ihungupt
    henanswer
    edmama’
    scal
    l
    .“Hel
    l
    o.”
    “Yourfat
    her’
    snamei sIsakaRantuang.
    ”She
    pausedcoughing.“Idon’
    tremembermuchbut
    hehadadaught erandawi fe,
    hiswife’
    sname
    wasI r
    ene.Il
    aterheardthathechangedhis
    surname.”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Iknowyouareangr
    y,andy
    ouhav
    eev
    eryr
    ight
    t
    obe.Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok,
    Ilongf
    orgav
    eyou.Goodni
    ght
    .”
    Isi
    ghedandcall
    edOt
    eng.Hedr
    oppedt
    hecal
    l
    andcal
    ledback.
    “
    Mamahasf
    inal
    l
    ytol
    dmemyf
    ather
    ’sname.
    ”
    “
    Tel
    lme,
    Iwi
    l
    lsomeonesear
    chf
    orhi
    m.”
    “
    Hisnamei
    sIsakaRant
    uang.
    ”
    “
    Who?
    ”
    “
    IsakaRant
    uang.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    ousur
    e?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    llooki
    ntoi
    t.
    ”
    Isi
    ghedaswecont
    inuedchat
    ti
    ngl
    aughi
    ng.

    *
    **

    Thefoll
    owingmor ni
    ng,Thabil
    efi
    xedhermake-
    upsit
    ti
    nginfrontofthemirror
    .Ri
    chardopened
    thedoorandlookedather.
    “
    Canwego?
    ”
    “
    Yeah,
    Iam done.
    ”
    Shest
    oodupwrappi
    ngalosescar
    faroundher
    neckt
    ohi
    deherneckrol
    l
    sandwalkedoutwith
    hi
    m.
    “Wheni
    syourmaterni
    tyleav
    e?Youcan’
    tkeep
    goi
    ngtoworkl
    ikethi
    s.”
    “
    Inamont
    h.”
    Thabi
    lesmil
    edasEmmaopenedt
    hedoorf
    or
    her
    .“Thankssweet
    y.”
    Shegoti nthecarthenEmmaj umpedatthe
    backjoini
    ngherbrother.Ri
    charddr
    oppedthe
    ki
    dsf i
    rstthendrov
    et oThabil
    e’
    sworkplaceand
    parkedneartheentrance.
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lbr
    ingy
    ourl
    unchl
    ateron.
    ”
    Shesmiledthenheleanedov
    erandki
    ssedher
    chubbycheek.“Il
    oveyou.
    ”
    Ri
    char
    dsmi
    l
    ed.“
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    Shesteppedoutt
    henwalkedt
    owardsthe
    ent
    rancetoherof
    ficewher
    eshesatdownwi
    th
    herhugebump.Shepi
    ckedherr
    ingi
    ngphone.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Whenareyoucomi
    nghome?Youar
    eal
    most
    giv
    ingbi
    rt
    h.”
    Thabi
    lepaused.“
    Ithoughty
    oudi
    dn’
    twant
    anyt
    hingtodowithme.”
    “Thabi
    lewhendi dIsayt hat
    ?Ijustwantedyou
    totakeresponsi
    bil
    ityforyouracti
    onsthat’
    sal
    l.
    Youarest i
    llmychil
    dandIam t heonlyonewho
    canhelpy ouwit
    hthatbaby .Youcan’tbe
    stayi
    ngwi thRi
    chard,hedoesn’tknow
    anythi
    ng.”
    “It
    houghtdi
    dn’
    twantt
    ohel
    pmet
    hat
    ’swhyI
    neverbot
    her
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Makeapl
    an,
    y ouar
    ealmostgi
    vi
    ngbi
    rt
    h.Iwant
    y
    ouhomebytoni
    ght
    .”
    “
    Ehmma.
    ”
    Hermot
    herhungupt
    henshesmi
    l
    edput
    ti
    ngher
    phonedown.Herbosswalkedi
    nasshe
    swit
    chedonhercomputer
    .
    “
    Thabi
    l
    e…”
    “
    Mor
    ning.
    ”
    “So, yourmancal l
    ed.Hei snothappyt hatwe
    arest ill
    overworkinghi sdiamondwhenshei sin
    thiscondi ti
    on.Hewasnothappy ,mademef eel
    bad. ”Shesmi led.“Someandy ourcol leagues
    didsomet hingfory ou.”Shehandedheran
    env elope.“Foryouandt hebabyal lt
    oget her.
    Ever yonecont ri
    buted.Yourmat ernit
    yleav ewill
    startt odaybutmeani ngyouwillhavet ocome
    backal it
    tl
    ebitsoonerbecauset hisplacei s
    deadwi thoutyou.”
    “
    Thanky
    ousomuch.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok,
    hav
    eagr
    eatdel
    i
    ver
    ytoaheal
    thybaby
    .”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Butbef
    orey
    ougo,
    pleasesor
    toutt
    hatdeal
    .
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Herbosswal kedoutleavingherwit
    hastupi
    d
    gri
    nonherf ace.Herbabyki ckedt
    henshe
    rubbedherbumpemot ional
    ly.

    *
    **

    Barr
    ylookedatOteng’smother’
    sresul
    tssadl
    y,
    hehadbeenhopinghewaswr ong.Helooked
    i
    ntothetreat
    mentplantry
    ingtoseewhatcan
    workbestthenf
    inall
    ycall
    edhim.HisSouth
    Afr
    icannumberrangforawhi l
    ethenhefinal
    l
    y
    answered.
    “
    Itbet
    terbei
    mpor
    tant
    .”
    “
    Iti
    s,i
    t’
    scancer
    .”
    “
    Sowhat
    ’st
    hepl
    an?
    ”
    “
    West
    artt
    reat
    mentr
    ightnowandsee.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    ltal
    ktoher
    .”
    “
    Ok,
    doi
    tqui
    ckt
    hough.
    ”
    “
    Sur
    e.Byt
    heway
    ,Eazi
    isRant
    uang’
    schi
    l
    d.”
    “
    Arey
    ousur
    e?”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    “
    Whatnow.Shei
    syourcousi
    n.”
    “
    Ilov
    eher
    .”
    “
    Fuck!Shei
    sourcousi
    n!”
    “
    Iknow.Icant
    ’bel
    i
    evet
    his.
    ”
    “Theyarenevergoi
    ngt oapproveit
    ,shei
    syour
    uncle’
    sdaughter
    .Yourolderuncle’
    sdaught
    er.
    Yourstri
    ctuncl
    e’sdaughter
    .”
    “
    Hedi
    dn’
    trai
    seher
    !”
    “Thatdoesn’
    tmatt
    er.Whetherherai
    sedheror
    not.Attheendoft
    heday,sheisyourcousi
    n,
    sheisaBogatsu.
    ”
    Otengbr
    eathedoutl
    oudl
    y.“
    Ilov
    eher
    ,nowi
    t’
    s
    j
    usttool
    ate.”
    “
    Noonewi lleverapprovet
    herel
    ati
    onshi
    p.That
    wi
    ll
    bei ncest.Idon’tthi
    nkyoucanevenget
    marr
    ied,legall
    y.It
    ’sil
    l
    egal.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    ldeal
    wit
    hthatwhenIgett
    her
    e.”
    “Doyouthinkshewi l
    lagr
    ee?Herfat
    heri
    sy our
    fat
    her’
    sbrother
    .Bloodbrother,
    samemother,
    samefather.Ot
    ie,
    y ouknowy ouhav
    etobreak
    upwithher.”
    “
    Iam notl
    ett
    inghergoasyet.Iwi
    l
    lfi
    ndaway
    t
    odealwit
    hit.Wewill
    tal
    k.”
    HehungupthenBarr
    yputhi
    sphonedown
    shaki
    nghi
    shead.Mapul
    awalkedi
    nwithout
    knocki
    ngandl
    ookedathi
    m.
    “
    Weneedt
    otal
    k.”
    “
    Ihav
    enot
    hingt
    osayt
    oyou.
    ”
    “
    Babepl
    ease…Iknowt
    haty
    oudon’
    ttr
    ustme,
    I
    don’tblamey oubutBar r
    yifIwant edy our
    cousindoy out hinkIwoul dhav est il
    l beenwi t
    h
    you.Backt henIwasdesper atef oraj ob
    thi
    nkingTendai wouldfir
    eme.Hegoti tall
    misunder st
    oodandIdon’ tbl amehi m, evenifI
    wereinhi sshoesIwoul dhav ethoughtt he
    samet hi
    ng.Ilovey ou.Pleasedon’ tdot his
    babe…”Tear sr andownhercheeksr unningher
    make- up.“I
    twasami st
    akeImadel ongback.
    Pleasedon’tleav eme, Il
    ov ey ou.”

    *
    **

    Abepackedhi
    sbagt
    henki
    ssedSadi
    .
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lseey
    out
    omor
    row.
    ”
    Shesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    HewalkedoutasSadisighed.Shet
    ookher
    phoneandcal
    ledherf
    riend.
    “
    Lov
    e…”
    “Hey,Ithi
    nkIneedt
    ogot
    oabeaut
    yspa.Il
    ook
    horr
    ible.
    ”
    “
    No,
    youar
    ejustpr
    egnant
    .”
    “Il
    ooksodarkandmynoseissobi
    g.Yest
    erday
    ImetAbe’ssoontobeexwif
    eandt
    hatwoman
    i
    sjustbeaut
    if
    uli
    tsevenscar
    y.”
    “
    You’
    vegotnot
    hingt
    owor
    ryabout
    .Abel
    oves
    y
    ou.”
    “IknowandIam notworr
    ied.Justthatshe
    cameal l
    dressedupl
    ooki
    ngl i
    kethoseinst
    a
    girl
    s.”
    “Shel
    ikest
    hings,
    didn’
    tsher
    ecei
    vet
    hedi
    vor
    ce
    paper
    s?”
    “Shedid.Iguessshewant
    edt
    otal
    ktohi
    m
    personal
    ly.
    ”
    “
    Becar
    eful
    ,whati
    ssheget
    shi
    m back?
    ”
    “Abelovesme.Imi ssmyol dsel
    fbeforethe
    pregnancy.Iwantafaci
    alorsomet hi
    ng.He
    wenttoGabst ocloseoffadeal,
    whenhe
    comesbackIwantt obelooki
    ngfresh.”
    “
    Ok.Iwil
    lhooky
    ouupwi
    thsomet
    hing
    i
    nter
    est
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”

    *
    **

    Af ewhourslater,
    Abewalkedinsi
    dehishouse
    andlookedaround.Hesearchedtheenti
    re
    houseforsomet hi
    ngbutt
    herewasnot hi
    ng
    thensatdownwai ti
    ngpat
    ientl
    yforher
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #78

    IdrovethroughtheGabor
    onecit
    yli
    ghtswit
    h
    Malcolm sleepi
    ngatt
    hebackseatt
    alki
    ngonmy
    phone.
    “
    Iam al
    mosthome.Tomor
    rowIam goi
    ngt
    o
    v
    iewthehouseandi
    mmediat
    elymove.
    ”
    “
    Wisemov
    e.It
    hinkImaycomebackt
    oni
    ght
    .”
    “
    Isev
    ery
    thi
    ngok?
    ”
    “Yes,thedr
    iveri
    ssti
    ll
    unconsci
    ous,
    my
    presencewon’thel
    pmuch.”
    “
    Ist
    het
    ruckr
    uined?
    ”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    Hechuckl
    ed.“
    That
    ’swhyt
    her
    eisi
    nsur
    ance.
    ”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Ok.Whatt
    imei
    syourf
    li
    ght
    ?”
    “
    Int
    wohour
    s.”
    “
    Wil
    lyoupassby
    ?”
    “
    Yeah,i
    fIdofi
    ndy
    ourf
    ather
    ,woul
    dyouwantt
    o
    meethi
    m? ”
    Isi
    ghed.“Idon’
    tknow.Isuspecthehasafamil
    y
    andstuffandhewouldn’twanttorui
    nthat
    .Hei
    s
    goi
    ngt orej
    ectme,that
    ’sobvious.
    ”
    “
    Doy
    ouwantmet
    oleti
    tgo?
    ”
    “
    Iam scar
    edofr
    eject
    ion.Idon’
    twantt
    orui
    nhi
    s
    f
    amil
    ytoo.”
    “
    Icanleti
    tgoandper
    suei
    twheny
    ouar
    e
    r
    eady.
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “Icanpullaf
    ewstri
    ngstohav
    eyourdui
    vor
    ce
    processedevenf
    aster
    .”
    “
    Bat
    hong!Thi
    sshadyf
    ri
    endofmi
    ne…”
    “
    Sincewhendoy
    ouki
    ssy
    ourf
    ri
    end?
    ”
    “
    Sincet
    heydon’
    tshar
    e.”
    Idrov
    einmystreetthenpressedt
    hegate
    remotedr
    ivi
    ngin.Thecurt
    ainmovedsli
    ghtl
    y,
    myheartski
    pped.
    “
    Ithi
    nkAbei
    sinsi
    de.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “Hecal
    ledmel astni
    ghtinsult
    ingme,hesai
    dI
    owehim andthatheisgoingtobeatme.He
    cal
    ledwhenIwaswi thyouandIt hi
    nkthe
    phonegotansweredbymi stake.Hehear
    dus.”
    “
    Whydi
    dn’
    tyout
    ell
    me?
    ”
    “
    Youwer
    edr
    ivi
    ng,
    Idi
    dn’
    twantt
    odi
    stur
    byou.
    ”
    “
    Thi
    sisthesameguywhot
    riedki
    l
    li
    ngy
    ou,
    don’
    t
    y
    outhi
    nkyoushoul
    dhavet
    oldme?”
    Thegat
    est
    art
    edcl
    osi
    ng.“
    Hei
    scl
    osi
    ngt
    he
    gat
    e.”
    “
    Getoutoft
    her
    e.OrIam sendi
    ngsomeone.
    ”
    Iqui
    cklypr
    essedmyremoterev
    ersingthensl
    id
    outthr
    oughthepr
    vodedspacescratchi
    ngthe
    car.
    “
    Iam out
    !”
    “
    Got
    omyhouse.
    ”
    Idr
    oveof
    fshaki
    ng.
    “
    Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evet
    his…”
    “
    Iam goi
    ngt
    odeal
    wit
    h,hei
    sgoi
    ngt
    oof
    ar.
    ”
    “
    Whati
    fhesay
    shewant
    shal
    fhal
    f?”
    “
    Hewi
    l
    lal
    sol
    osei
    nthepr
    ocess.
    ”
    “
    Youdon’
    tknowAbe,
    hewoul
    dn’
    tcar
    e.”
    “
    Don’
    tfr
    eakout
    ,Iam comi
    ngt
    her
    e.”
    Iswall
    owedhar
    dasmyphonebeeped
    i
    ndicat
    ingani
    ncomi
    ngcal
    l
    .
    “
    Ithi
    nkhei
    scal
    l
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Answer
    .Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lyoui
    naf
    ewmi
    nut
    es.
    ”
    Otengdroppedt
    hecal
    l,Ihesi
    tant
    lyanswer
    ed
    unsavednumber’
    scal
    landpressedrecor
    d.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hey
    ,canwet
    alk?
    ”
    “
    Whatdoy
    ouwantAbedi
    l
    e?”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyougoi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Iam sl
    eepi
    ngi
    nahot
    el.
    ”
    “
    Why
    ?Iwantust
    otal
    k.”
    “
    Youwantt
    ohur
    tme.
    ”
    “
    Iwoul
    dnev
    erdot
    hat
    .”
    “
    That
    ’swhaty
    ousai
    dlastni
    ght
    .”
    “Iwasjeal
    ousandhurt,
    Iam sorr
    y.Iwantusto
    tal
    kaboutMalc.Ihavehadt
    imet othi
    nkthi
    ngs
    throughandIt
    hinkwearebeingunfai
    ronhim.
    Pleasecomeback.”
    “Iam notbuyi
    ngthat,whatarey oudoinginthe
    housewi t
    houti
    nformingme?Youwant edto
    catchmeunawar e.Iam notcomi ngback-ever.
    Iwill
    havethemov i
    ngt r
    uckov erinthemor ni
    ng
    totakemybelongings.”
    “Pl
    ease,
    Ijustwanttot
    alk.Iam sor
    ry.Cany
    ou
    comesowet al
    k?”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Idroppedthecall
    thenmi nut
    eslaterpar
    kedin
    fr
    ontofhisclosedgate.Acarparkedbehindme
    ashecalled.
    “
    Thegat
    eiscl
    osed.
    ”
    “
    Isentmysi
    sterov
    erwi
    tht
    hespar
    ekey
    s.”
    “
    Ok.It
    hinkshei
    stheoneher
    e.”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    Shewal
    kedov
    erasIr
    oll
    eddownmywi
    ndow.
    “
    Hi…”
    Shesmi ledexci
    tedl
    yhuggi
    ngmet hr
    oughthe
    window.“ Hi
    !Mynamei sPenny
    .Hisyounger
    si
    ster.Iam soexcit
    edtomeetyou.Fi
    nal
    ly,af
    ter
    ayear.”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Yeah,
    final
    l
    y.”
    “
    IknowIknow.”Shepeakedi
    natt
    heback.“
    Is
    t
    hatyoursonsl
    eepi
    ng?”
    Inodded.“
    Yes.
    ”
    “Cut
    e,makesmewantt ohaveki
    ds.OhMy,you
    aresobeauti
    ful
    .Areyour
    ealory
    ouarethe
    devi
    l’
    screat
    ion?Thi
    scan’
    tbenormal.
    ”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Iam r
    eal
    Ithi
    nk.
    ”
    “Ot
    ieal
    sotol
    dusthaty ouaret
    hel
    adywho
    ownsMalcom Ref
    reshers.
    ”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    “Il
    i
    ket hi
    s,womantaki
    ngupspace.Ther
    eist
    he
    key,heaskedmetogiveyouthi
    s.Kyr
    aisgoi
    ng
    tofall
    inlov
    ewithy
    ou.Ial
    readylovey
    ou.”
    Ismi
    l
    edst
    ari
    ngatt
    hebubbl
    ywoman.“
    Thanks.
    ”
    “Any
    ways,byeee!Andoh,Ihav
    eyournumberso
    Iam goi
    ngtocallyou.By
    esis!
    ”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Byel
    ove…”
    ShewalkedawayasIt
    ookt
    hephone.“
    Shegav
    e
    them t
    ome.”
    “
    Shei
    stal
    kat
    ive,
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    Ipressedt
    hegat
    eremoteanddroveincl
    osi
    ng
    thegatebehi
    ndme.“
    It
    ’sok,shel
    ikesme.
    ”
    “
    Shel
    i
    kedy
    ouwaybef
    oreshemety
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Iam get
    ti
    ngi
    n.”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lbet
    her
    etoni
    ght
    .”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    HehungupasIst appedoutst
    eppingonhis
    pavement
    .Iwalkedtothedoorthenunl
    ocked
    swit
    chi
    ngthel
    ightson.Iwentbacktothecar
    andshookMalc.
    “
    Mal
    c,come.
    ”
    Heslowlyopenedhiseyesthensteppedoutof
    thecar.It
    ookhishandandwal kedinsi
    det
    he
    houselockingt
    hecarbehindme.Itookhimto
    theguestroom andhel
    pedhim bath.Awhil
    e
    l
    ater,
    IswitchedontheTVf orhim.
    “
    Thi
    sTVi
    shuuuge!
    ”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Yeah.
    ”
    “
    Who’
    shousei
    sthi
    s?”
    Isatbesidehim andt ookhishandi nt
    omi ne.
    “Malc,youseemeandy ourdad, Abe, wewer e
    i
    nar el
    ati
    onship.Wear emar r
    iedt hat’
    swhywe
    stayedtogetherinthesamehousebecausehe
    wasmyhusbandandIwashi swife.But
    somet i
    mesbei ngmar ri
    eddoesnotmeanwe
    aregoingt obetogetherfortherestofourl i
    ves.
    Wenol ongerl
    ov eeachotherandt hat’
    swhy
    youseehehasanewf amil
    yt hathel oves.Not
    thathehat esusbutifhekeepsl ov inguslike
    bef
    ore,
    hisnewf
    ami
    l
    ywi
    l
    lbehur
    t.
    ”
    “
    Hesai
    dIam nothi
    sson.
    ”
    “Hewasangr y
    .Hedi dsomet hi
    ngbadt ome
    andIdidsomethingbadt ohim andwear ebot h
    wrongsowenol ongerloveeachot her.Iknow
    thi
    sisbreaki
    ngy ourheartbutIam alway s
    goi
    ngtobeher e.Abewi ll
    foreverbey ourdad.
    Butyouwon’tbeascl osetohiml ikebefore.”
    Tear
    sfi
    l
    ledhi
    sey
    es.“
    SoIwon’
    tseehi
    m?”
    “Youwill,
    butnotthatmuch.Iam sor r
    y.
    Somet i
    mest hepeoplei
    nourl iv
    esleaveandwe
    havetomov eon.Justl
    i
    key ourfri
    endwhot ook
    atransfer
    , hemovedsoy ouguy swon’tbe
    seeingeachotherbutdoest hatmeany ouare
    notfri
    endsany more?Youarest i
    llf
    ri
    endsbut
    j
    ustnotcl osefr
    iemdsany more.”
    “
    Iam goi
    ngt
    omi
    ssdad.
    ”
    “Iknow,metoobutIam nev
    ergoi
    nganywher
    e.
    Iloveyousomuch.Youaremyhappi
    nessand
    i
    fyouar
    esad,
    Ifeel
    sadt
    oo.
    ”
    Hechuckl
    ed.“
    Ok,
    Iam notsadany
    mor
    e.”
    “
    No,besadbutonedaywewon’
    tbesad.We
    wi
    ll
    behappy.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyoumama.
    ”
    Ismi
    ledandhuggedhi
    m.“
    Ilov
    eyout
    oomyboy
    .
    Il
    oveyousosomuch.”

    *
    **

    Abelookedathi
    smot
    herwhosatdownshaki
    ng
    herhead.
    “
    Shei
    spr
    egnant
    ?”
    “
    Yes.AndIl
    oveher
    .”
    “
    Whycoul
    dn’
    tyout
    ell
    Eazi
    all
    along?
    ”
    “BecauseIdi
    dn’
    twanthercausi
    ngdrama,but
    nowwear egett
    ingadi
    vorce.Iwantt
    odiscuss
    Mal
    cwi
    thher
    .”
    “
    Youneedtotal
    ktoher
    .Youneveradopted
    Mal
    casyoursonsoshecanref
    usewi t
    hhim.”
    “
    Cal
    lherandt
    ell
    hert
    ocomeov
    er.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Gi
    nat
    ookherherphoneandcal
    l
    edEazi
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hidear
    ,Ihav
    eAbehere.Youneedtocomeand
    makemeunderst
    andwhat’
    sgoingon?”
    “Abewantstohurtme,mysononl yhasmeand
    heneedsmeal i
    ve.Ihavenothi
    ngtodiscuss
    withAbe,
    myl awyerwil
    ltal
    ktohim andhis
    l
    awy er
    .Goodnight.
    ”
    Shehungupt
    henGi
    nal
    ookedatAbe.
    “
    Shesay
    syouwantt
    ohur
    ther
    .”
    Hecl
    osedhi
    sey
    es.“
    Thanks.
    ”
    “
    Whywoul
    dshesaysomet
    hingl
    i
    ket
    hat
    ?”
    “
    Wehadanargumentov
    ert
    hephone
    y
    est
    erday
    .”
    “
    Andy
    out
    hreat
    enedher
    ?”
    “
    Notev
    ent
    hatmuchbutsheknewIdi
    dn’
    tmean
    i
    t.
    ”
    Hi
    sphoner
    angt
    henheanswer
    edwal
    ki
    ngout
    .
    “
    Yah?
    ”
    “
    Ihav
    etr
    acedt
    hecart
    oahouseher
    einGabs.
    ”
    “
    Sendt
    hel
    ocat
    ion.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hegoti
    nTendai
    ’
    scaranddr
    oveof
    fchecki
    ng
    hi
    sgun.

    *
    **

    Thabi
    l
    ewalkedi
    nsi
    deheroar
    ent’
    shousewit
    h
    Ri
    charddr
    aggi
    ngherbagi
    nsi
    de.Hermother
    wal
    kedov
    ert
    henl
    ookedatherbump.
    “
    Thebabyi
    sal
    mosther
    e.”
    Thabi
    l
    esmi
    l
    ed.“
    Yes.
    ”
    Herf
    atherwal
    kedov
    erandhuggedher
    .
    “
    Daughter
    …”
    “
    Papa.
    ”
    HelookedatRi
    char
    d.“
    Ladi
    es,
    giv
    eussome
    space.
    ”
    Thabil
    e’
    smot
    hert
    ookherhandandl
    edhert
    o
    herroom.
    “
    Youshoul
    dhavel
    ongcomebackhome.Ar
    e
    y
    ousti
    ll
    goingt
    owork?
    ”
    “
    No,
    Igotmymat
    erni
    tyl
    eav
    etoday
    .”
    “
    Good.
    ”
    Thabi
    lesatdownandl ookedatAshly’
    epict
    ure
    onherdressi
    ngtable.Atearrandownher
    cheekthenshewipeditoff.Thebabyki
    cked,
    sherubbedherst
    omachwithasmi
    l
    epr
    omi
    sing
    todobetterwi
    tht
    hisone.
    Hermot
    herputherbagatt
    hecor
    ner
    .“Howar
    e
    youf
    eel
    i
    ng?’
    “
    Exci
    ted.
    ”
    “Asyoushoul
    d.Thi
    sRi
    char
    dguyseemsl
    i
    kea
    goodguy.
    ”
    “
    Hei
    s.Il
    ovehi
    m.”
    “Icansee,
    buty
    oucan’
    tbecohabi
    ti
    ngwi
    th
    him.”
    “
    Ihadt
    omov
    einbecauseoft
    hepr
    egnancy
    .”
    “Fr
    om her
    ewher
    ear
    eyougoi
    ng?Toy
    our
    house?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Hermot hersi
    ghed.“Amancannev ermarr
    yyou
    i
    fy ouarealr
    eadydoingevery
    thi
    ngawi f
    edoes
    forhim.Lethim marr
    yyou,don’
    tyouwanttobe
    placedinthemarri
    edwomancat egory
    ,togi
    ve
    adv
    isetothenewlywedbri
    de?Lenyal
    ole
    monatengwanake.Heshoul
    dmar r
    yyou.
    ”
    “
    Ehmma.
    ”
    Minut
    eslat
    erRi
    char
    dknockedt henpeakedin.
    Hesmiledatmymother
    .“Iam goingnow.”
    “
    Letmegi
    vey
    ouaf
    ewmi
    nut
    es.
    ”
    Shewal kedoutthenRichar
    dlookedatThabi
    l
    e.
    “Iam goingtocallandvi
    sit
    .”
    “
    Whatdi
    dpapasay
    ?”
    “
    Wewerejustt
    alki
    ng.
    ”Heki
    ssedher
    .“Iwi
    l
    lcal
    l
    y
    oul
    ater
    .”
    “
    Ial
    readymi
    ssy
    ou.
    ”
    Hesmil
    ed.“
    Imissyoutoo.I
    t’
    sgoi
    ngt
    ofeel
    wei
    rdsl
    eepi
    ngalonet
    onight
    .”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    Hewal
    kedoutasshel
    ayont
    hebed.
    *
    **

    AtOt eng’
    shouse,Irel
    axedwatchingamov ie
    wit
    hMal cwhilewenibbl
    edonsomesnackswe
    hadf oundinthehouse.Theinter
    com r ang,
    I
    fr
    ownedget tingupandwentt othewi ndow.I
    l
    ookedcar efull
    yandthecaratthegat ereal
    izi
    ng
    i
    fitwasOt enghewoul dhavecalled.The
    i
    ntercom rangagain.
    “
    Mama!Daddy
    !”
    Iwalkedbacktot
    hesitt
    ingr
    oom wher
    e
    Malcolm washol
    dingmyphone.
    “
    Ianswer
    ed.
    ”
    Itookitandputi
    tonmyear
    .“Eazi
    Iwantt
    otal
    k,
    that’
    sall
    .”
    “
    Wewi
    l
    ltal
    kwhent
    hel
    awy
    ersar
    epr
    esent
    .”
    “
    Please,
    Icameal
    lthewayher
    etot
    alkt
    oyou.
    ”
    “Abepl
    easegoawaybef oret
    heowneroft
    his
    houseret
    urns.I
    t’
    snotgoingt
    obenicei
    fhe
    fi
    ndsyouhere.”
    “
    Soy
    our
    ant
    oyourl
    i
    ttl
    ebof
    ri
    end?
    ”
    “
    Iam hangi
    ngup.
    ”
    IhungupthenMal
    col
    mlookedatmecr
    ying.
    “Whycan’
    twegotohi
    m?”
    “
    Mal
    col
    mI-
    “
    “
    Iwantt
    ogowi
    thhi
    m!”
    “
    Iknowbutr
    ightnow-
    “
    “Iwantt
    ogowi
    thdaddy
    !Iwantt
    ost
    aywi
    th
    him.”
    Isadlyl
    ookedathimfighti
    ngmyownt
    ear
    s.
    “Malcol
    m,pleaseunderst
    and.
    ”
    “Malc,
    youhav etounderst
    andsomething,you
    cangowi thhi
    m.It’
    sfinebutIcan’
    tbecauseI
    am nolongerhiswif
    e.Theladywesawathi s
    houseis.Youcango, i
    t’
    sfi
    nebutIam notgoing.
    Doyouwanttogo?Iwon’
    tstopyou.Ifyouwant
    togo,
    goandputonyourshoes.Youcango
    wit
    hhim.I
    t’
    sok.Goandputony ourshoes.
    ”
    AtearrandownmycheekasIl
    ookedathi
    m
    cr
    ying.
    “Whyareyoucr
    ying?Youcango.Hei
    swai
    ti
    ng
    out
    side.
    ”
    “
    Iwantust
    obeaf
    ami
    l
    yagai
    n.”
    “Iam sorr
    ybutthat
    ’si
    mpossi
    blenow.Youarea
    bigboy,you’
    vegottost
    opcryi
    ng.I
    fyouwantto
    go,it
    ’sfi
    ne.Goandputonyourshoes.Hei
    s
    outsi
    de.”

    *
    **

    Meanwhileout
    side,
    Abelookedinsi
    dethe
    housewonderi
    ngwhatwasgoi ngon.Shewas
    probabl
    ywuthhim.Acarparkedbehindhi
    s
    t
    henhelookedbackandlookedatt
    hefami
    li
    ar
    manst
    epoutandwal kovertohi
    m.Heopened
    t
    hedoorandsteppedoutwitht
    hegun.
    Otengsmilednot
    ici
    ngthegunt
    henrai
    sedhis
    handslaughi
    ng.“
    Shit
    !Shoul
    dIbescar
    ed?”
    “
    Giv
    ememywi
    fe.
    ”
    Otenglookedathi
    m wit
    hasmi r
    kasAbe
    point
    edthegunathim.Hetr
    uendaroundasi
    f
    goingbactohi
    scarthenqui
    ckl
    ytur
    nedback
    andsnatchedt
    hegun.
    “Ok,nowthi
    sisoutoft
    heway
    ,whatar
    eyou
    doingher
    e?”
    Abe’
    shear
    tski
    ppedasOt
    engpoi
    nyedt
    hegun
    athi
    m.
    “Tal
    k,befor
    eIblowy ourbrainsoff
    .Andy our
    gunhasasi l
    encer
    .Inter
    esting,Iwi
    llki
    l
    lyou,
    burr
    yy ouandnoonewi lleverfi
    ndout.”
    “
    Eazi
    ismywi
    fe.
    ”
    “Toolat
    efort
    hat.Shei
    sminenowandIdon’t
    playwit
    hguns,Iki
    ll
    wit
    hguns.AndInev
    erget
    caught.
    ”
    “
    Iam notgoi
    ngany
    wher
    ewi
    thoutmywi
    fe!
    ”
    Otengl
    ookedathishouser eal
    i
    zingt
    hatEazi
    wasprobabl
    ywatchi
    ngt hencockedthegun
    andshotbet
    weenAbe’sl egs.
    “
    Nextt
    imeIam notmi
    ssi
    ng.
    ”
    Abe’
    shear
    tpoundeduncont
    rol
    l
    abl
    yashe
    l
    ookedatOteng.
    “
    Shei
    smywi
    feandIam goi
    ngt
    ogether
    .”
    Hegoti
    nhiscarasOt
    enggotbacki
    nhiscar
    andr
    ever
    sedgivi
    nghi
    m spacet
    odri
    veout.

    *
    **

    Iwat
    chedasAbe’
    scardr
    oveof
    fthensi
    ghedi
    n
    r
    eli
    efandpr
    essedt
    hegat
    eremot
    e.Mal
    col
    m
    l
    ookedatme.
    “
    Hel
    eft
    ?”
    Inodded.“
    Yes.
    Goandwat
    chTv
    .”
    Iwal
    kedoutt
    henl
    ookedasOt
    engst
    eppedout
    ofhi
    scar
    .
    “
    Arey
    ouok?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Hewal
    kedoverandhuggedme.Iputmyl
    i
    ttl
    e
    ar
    msaroundhi
    sbigbody.
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Otengst
    eppedbackandki
    ssedme
    passi
    onat
    ely
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe
    #79

    Hepickedmeupandpl acedmeont hecar’


    s
    bonnetgetti
    ngbet weenmyl egsasmyni ght
    gownr odeov erexposi
    ngmyt highs.Hishand
    wentinsidemygownandt ouchedmybar e
    bodybr eat
    hingheavil
    y.Hesqueezedmybr east
    .
    Hisphonev ibrat
    edthenher eleasedmyl i
    ps
    taki
    nghi sphoneoutwi t
    hhi sotherhand.He
    rest
    edhi sheadonmyneckbr eathingonme.
    “Yah?
    ...Bar
    ry,
    Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lyou.Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lyou,
    rel
    ax.
    Sure.
    ”
    Hehungandki ssedmyneckthenl
    ookedi
    nmy
    eyes.Ibl
    ushedsmili
    ng.Hebabyki
    ssedmethen
    fi
    xedmyni ghtgownpull
    ingmedownthecar
    .
    “
    Hehadagun.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Yeah,
    Iwonderwhathewasgoi
    ngt
    odo.
    ”
    “
    Iwantar
    est
    rai
    ningor
    der
    .”
    Helookedatmethenpinchedmycheek.“Ok,
    I
    wi
    ll
    t akeyout
    othepol
    icestati
    ont
    omor r
    ow.”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    Hetookhisphonethent
    appeditforawhil
    e
    bef
    orehandingi
    ttome.“That
    ’syourfat
    her
    .”
    Itookthephoneandl
    ookedatt
    hepict
    ure
    feel
    ingnothi
    ng.“
    Oh…doeshehaveafamil
    y?”
    “
    Yes.Thr
    eeki
    dsandawi
    fe.
    ”
    Izoomedi
    nthepi
    ctur
    ethensi
    ghed.“
    Thanks.
    ”
    “
    Changedy
    ourmi
    ndaboutmeet
    inghi
    m?”
    Ishookmyhead.“
    No,i
    t’
    sbett
    ert
    hisway
    .Ij
    ust
    wanttomoveonwithmyli
    fe.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”Heki
    ssedmeagai
    n.“
    IsMal
    cin?
    ”
    Inodded.“
    He’
    sabi
    tsad.
    ”
    Ot
    engwal
    kedi
    nsi
    det
    hehousewhi
    l
    eIl
    ookedat
    thepict
    ureonelasttimet henscrol
    ledthrough
    hisphonelooki
    ngf oranythingsuspici
    ous.I
    smilednotfi
    ndi
    ngany t
    hingt henwalkedinsi
    de
    thehousetowher ehewasl aughi
    ngwi thMalc
    ashesetupagamef orthem.
    “
    Mom l
    ook!Yourf
    ri
    endgotmyf
    avor
    it
    egame.
    ”
    “
    That
    ’sni
    ce.
    ”
    Iwal
    kedtohi ski
    tchenandl
    ookedaround
    bef
    orestart
    ingtocook.Anhourl
    ater
    ,Idi
    shed
    andtooktheplat
    est ot
    hem.
    "
    Thanky
    oumama.
    "
    Ismi
    l
    edsi
    tt
    ingt
    henOt
    engwi
    nkedatme.
    "
    Thi
    slooksgood.
    "
    "
    Thanks.
    "
    Hisphonerang.Il
    ookedathim cur
    iouslyashe
    i
    gnoredit
    .Hecont i
    nuedeati
    ngmaki ngsmall
    conver
    sati
    onswi t
    hMalc.Isadl
    ywat ched
    wonderi
    nghowmanymor emenIwoul d
    i
    ntr
    oducetomyson.Iwal
    kedtotheki
    tchena
    whi
    lel
    aterwi
    thal
    lthepl
    atest
    henOtengwalked
    i
    nbehindme.
    "
    Iwi
    l
    lwasht
    hem.
    "
    "
    Icandoi
    t,t
    othanky
    ouf
    orl
    ett
    ingmest
    ayher
    e
    wi
    thmyson."
    "Youar
    ealwayswel
    come.ButIwi
    l
    lwasht
    hem.
    Youcooked.
    "
    Ismi
    ledthenwal
    kedout
    ."Mal
    col
    m,i
    tsl
    ate.
    Come."
    Hestoodupandfol
    lowedmetotheguestr
    oom
    wher
    ewebot hl
    aidonthebed.
    "
    Idon'
    tl
    ikey
    ourf
    ri
    end.
    "
    Il
    ookedathi
    m."
    Why
    ?"
    "
    Ijustdon'
    t.
    "
    "
    It
    'sok.Youdon'
    thav
    etol
    i
    kehi
    m."
    "
    Ili
    kehi
    sgamet
    hough.
    "
    Ichuckl
    ed."
    Ok.
    "
    "
    Itol
    dhi
    m."
    "
    Whatdi
    dhesay
    ?"
    "
    Hesai
    dhel
    i
    kesmebecauseI
    '
    m honest
    ."
    "
    Ok,
    sleep,
    tomor
    rowy
    ouar
    egoi
    ngt
    oschool
    .
    ”
    Ilayont hebedt hinkingoft hegunAbehad, I
    l
    ookedatmysonwonder ingwhatwoul d
    happent ohimi fsomet hinghadt ohappent o
    me.Tear sfi
    ll
    edmyey esast henighthe
    stabbedmepl ay edatt hebackofmyhead.Hi s
    i
    nt enti
    onshadbeent okillmeandl eavemei n
    thebushf ort
    hev ultures.At earr
    andownmy
    cheek, Islowl
    ygotof fbedandwal kedout
    l
    eav ingMal csleepi ng.Iwal kedinthekitchen
    anddi aledOntlamet siwhoanswer edlaughing.
    “
    HeyEazi
    …”
    “
    Hey
    ,Akany
    angt
    her
    e?”
    “
    Yeah,
    what
    ’sup?
    ”
    “
    Ahnot
    hing.Wewi
    l
    ltal
    ktomor
    row.
    ”
    “
    Youdon’
    tsoundok,
    what
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “Wouldy
    out
    akecar
    eofMal
    cifany
    thi
    nghadt
    o
    happent
    ome?”
    “
    Ofcausebutwhat
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “If
    eelAbei sgoi ngtokil
    lme.Lastnighthe
    call
    edthreateningmeandt odayIfoundhim at
    thehouse,Ileftimmedi at
    elybecauseIcould
    tel
    lhewant saf ightthenhecameaf termewi t
    h
    agun, t
    hesamegunheusedt oshootTino.I
    am scared.Mysoni stooyoung.Heneedsme
    OntlabutIam sacr ed.Icanfeeli
    tinmyhear t,
    hewant stohur tme.”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Iam wi
    thOt
    eng,
    athi
    shouse.
    ”
    “
    Oteng?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Atl
    easthecanst
    andupt
    oAbe.
    ”
    “
    Iam goi
    ngt
    omakeaf
    ewphonecal
    l
    s,but
    t
    omor
    rowIwanty
    out
    ogetar
    est
    rai
    ningor
    der
    .”
    “
    Iam.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tthi
    nkIam meantt
    obehappy
    .”
    “
    That
    ’snott
    rue.
    ”
    “
    Myhappi
    nessi
    sal
    way
    sshor
    tli
    ved.
    ”
    “
    Itwil
    lbeal
    ri
    ght
    .Doy
    ouwantmet
    ocome
    t
    here?”
    “
    No,it
    ’sok.Ican’
    twai
    tfort
    hedi
    vor
    cet
    obe
    f
    inal
    i
    zed.”
    “Metoo.Heshoul
    dgot
    ohi
    sgi
    rl
    fr
    iend.Gat
    we
    keenemang?”
    “
    Sadi
    .”
    “
    Eh,
    heshoul
    dgot
    oSadi
    .”
    “
    Yeah,
    wewi
    l
    ltal
    k.”
    “
    Andpl
    easel
    eavet
    hatcr
    iminal
    ’
    shouse.Hei
    s
    mor
    eli
    keAbeorev
    enworse.Justst
    ayaway
    f
    rom hi
    m.”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Ihungupjustashewalkedi
    nsi
    detheki
    tchen
    shi
    rtl
    ess.Helookedatmeworr
    iedl
    yasIwiped
    awaymyt ear
    s.
    “
    Arey
    ouok?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Iam f
    ine.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    ousur
    e?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Don’
    tlethi
    m gett
    oyou.Nothi
    ngi
    sgoi
    ngt
    o
    happen,Ipr
    omiseyouthat
    .”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    Heopenedhisfridgelett
    ingmehav ealookof
    hi
    statt
    ooedback.Isighedmov ingbackstar
    ing
    athi
    swholesexybackasmyi magi nat
    ionr
    an
    wil
    d.HeprobablyfuckedharderthananymanI
    hadeverbeenwithint hepast
    ,heturned
    hol
    dingabottl
    eofwat er,myeyeswentdown
    hisbr
    oadchestdownhisabstothatV-l
    inethat
    l
    edmedownt ohi
    sdickpri
    nt.Hewaspr obabl
    y
    thety
    petofuckyout
    ill
    youfeell
    ikeyourpussy
    i
    sabouttofal
    l.
    Helookedatmet henIfl
    ashedhi
    m asmi
    l
    e.He
    shy
    lysmiledbackconfused.
    “
    Whatar
    eyout
    hinki
    ng?
    ”
    Ii
    nnocent
    lyshookmyhead.“
    Not
    hing.
    ”
    “
    Come,
    let
    ’swat
    chamov
    ie.
    ”
    Heledmebackt othedarklivi
    ngroom where
    heswitchedont heTvthenlayont hecouch
    pull
    i
    ngmeont ohim.Irest
    edmyheadonhi s
    chestashel aywit
    hhislegsopenal l
    owingme
    tofi
    tperfect
    lybetweenhislegs.Hechangedt o
    achanel whereamov i
    ewasj uststart
    ing.
    Si
    l
    entandr
    elaxed,
    webot
    hwat
    ched.

    *
    **
    Tendai
    lookedathi
    syoungerbrot
    hersadl
    yas
    heconti
    nueddri
    nki
    ngwithreddi
    sheyes.
    “
    IknowIhur
    therbutthatdi
    dn’
    tmeanshehad
    t
    osleepwi
    thmybrother.
    ”
    “
    Youneedt
    osleepitof
    f,y
    ouhav
    eanot
    her
    womanint
    hepict
    urenow.”
    At eardroppedfr
    om Abe’
    sey ethenhewipedit
    offwiththebackofhishand.“Il
    oveher
    .Ilove
    hersomuchandshedoesn’ tknowhowmuch
    shehur tme,orhowmuchshekeepshur ting
    me. ”
    “Youshouldn’thavegott
    eni ntoitwit
    hSadi.She
    l
    ov esyouandt hi
    nksyouf eelthesameway
    abouther.Doy ouseewhaty ouaredoing?You
    can’tkeepimpregnati
    ngev erywomany oumeet.
    Youshoul dhavesatdownandf ixedthi
    ngswith
    Eazibecauseshewasmor ethanwill
    ingtofi
    x
    thi
    ngs.”
    “HowwasIsupposedtol
    ookatheraf
    tershe
    sleptwi
    thmybr
    other
    ?”
    “Samewayshel ookedaty ouaf t
    erThabilesent
    herthatv i
    deo.Shel ookedaty ouandmar ri
    ed
    you,promisedt ol oveandcher i
    shyou.Herchi l
    d
    diedthesameni ghtAshl eywasconcei vedbut
    shest i
    l
    l managedt ol ookaty ouandt ellyou
    howmuchshel ov edy ou.Yougav eupt oosoon.
    LikeIdid,todayIhav et owat chLinawith
    anotherman.Mot hakawat engwant enagor e,
    wacl ai
    maebi l
    eor ataboshowof fbutthereis
    nothingIcandonowbecauseIgav eupt oo
    early
    .Ishoul dhav el ovedmywi feri
    ght,ifIdid
    thenshewoul dhav enev erfeltt
    heneedt o
    sleepwithmyf ather .
    ”
    “Idon’
    twantt
    ohurther,
    Iwantt otalktoherbut
    sheisscar
    edofme.Shet hi
    nksIwantt ohurt
    her.Iwoul
    dnevert
    rytohurtagain,Il
    oveher.
    ”
    “
    Youcan’
    tbl
    ameher
    .”
    Tendai
    ’
    sphoner
    angt
    henhest
    eppedback
    answer
    ing.
    “
    Babe…”
    “
    Hey
    ,ar
    eyoucomi
    ng?
    ”
    “Iam wit
    hmybr ot
    herandheseemsdepressed.
    Idon’twantt
    oleavehi
    m al
    lal
    oneli
    kethi
    s.He
    will
    actstupi
    d.”
    “
    Ok,
    Ihopehef
    eel
    sbet
    terbymor
    ning.
    ”
    “
    Met
    oo.
    ”
    Tendai
    hungupandl
    ookedatAbecr
    yingov
    er
    Eazi
    .
    .

    ((
    (Copyr
    ight@2020byFezMat
    siki
    ti
    .+267
    75447725
    Allr
    ight
    sreser
    ved:Nopartoft
    hisbookshal
    l be
    repr
    oduced,di
    str
    ibut
    ed,
    orusedinanyform or
    byanymeans, electronic,photocopy i
    ng,
    mechanicall
    yorot herwise,withouttheprior
    writ
    tenpermissionoft heaut hor.Anyperson
    whodoesunaut hor i
    zedwor ksinrelat
    iontothi
    s
    publi
    cati
    onwi l
    lbel i
    abletocr imi
    nal
    prosecut
    ion.
    )))

    *
    **

    Thefoll
    owingmor ni
    ng,Lonaswr ot
    edownt he
    order
    sshehadt odeli
    veronapi eceofpaper.
    Thami f
    ini
    sheddressi
    ngt henl
    ookedather.
    “
    Youcanuset
    hecart
    oday
    .Iwi
    l
    lcat
    chat
    axi
    to
    wor
    k.”
    Lonassmi
    l
    ed.“
    Thanks.
    ”
    “
    Hav
    eyouspokent
    oLi
    na?
    ”
    Lonasshookherhead.“
    No.
    ”
    “
    Didy
    ouseet
    hatshei
    sengaged?
    ”
    “
    Shei
    sengaged?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Ar
    en’
    tyouf
    ri
    endsonf
    acebook?
    ”
    “
    Shel
    ongbl
    ockedme.
    ”
    “
    Shei
    sget
    ti
    ngmar
    ri
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Goodf
    orher
    .”
    “Youshoul
    dtal
    ktoher
    ,cl
    eart
    heair.Youcan’
    t
    keepdodgi
    ngher,
    sheisy
    oursist
    erattheend
    oftheday.
    ”
    “
    Shedoesn’
    twantmeany
    wher
    enearher
    .”
    “
    Youneedtoapologi
    ze.Youwrongedher
    ,take
    r
    esponsi
    bil
    i
    tyandownupt oyourmess.
    ”
    “
    Sheal
    sohur
    tme.
    ”
    “
    Bywhat
    ?”
    “
    Shet
    ri
    edki
    l
    li
    ngmychi
    l
    d.”
    “
    Becauseyousleptwit
    hherhusband.Whatdid
    y
    ouexpect?Forhertoclaphandsforyou?If
    y
    oudon’tapol
    ogizeIdon’tseet
    hisrel
    ati
    onshi
    p
    workingbecauset hat’
    snott
    hekindofbehav
    ior
    Iwantanyonet oteachmychild.Youhave
    todaytoapologize.”
    Hewalkedoutasshecl
    osedherey
    es
    wonderi
    ngwhereshewasgoi
    ngtostar
    t.

    *
    **

    Il
    ookedatthemenwhower egoingt
    ocol
    l
    ect
    myproper
    tyfrom Abe’
    shouse.
    “I
    fyoucan,
    Ineedmyclot
    hesfi
    rstbecauseI
    havetogotowork,
    Ial
    soneedmyson’ s
    cl
    othes.
    ”
    “
    Oneofuswi
    l
    ldr
    opt
    hem her
    ema’
    am.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Theygotinthetruckanddroveoffwhi
    leI
    walkedbackinsi
    det hehouse.Myphonerang,
    I
    l
    ookedatAbe’ sothernumberforawhil
    eand
    f
    inal
    l
    yanswer
    ed.
    “
    Abe,
    pleaseIdon’
    twantt
    ofi
    ghtwi
    thy
    ou-
    “
    “
    Iam notf
    ight
    ing.Ij
    ustwantt
    otal
    k.”
    Ikeptqui
    etl
    i
    steni
    ngt
    ohi
    sshaki
    ngv
    oice.“
    Ok.
    ”
    “Imessedupbysl eepi ngwi thThabi le,Idon’t
    knowhowl ongIhav et oapol ogisebutIwi lldo
    i
    tf orev erifthat
    ’swhatwi l
    ltakef ory outo
    forgi
    v eme.Iam sor ryaboutLel entle,may be
    hadIbeent herenot hingwoul dhav ehappened.
    Iam sor ryIwasn’ tther ewheny ouneededme
    themost .Iam sor ryaboutAshl ey ,Iknowshe
    hurty oumor ethanany t
    hing.Iam sor r
    yabout
    thev ideo.Iam sor ryIpushedy out osl eeping
    withmybr other,hadIbeenabet terhusband
    theny ouwoul dhav enev erhadsl eptwi t
    hmy
    brother .Iam sorr yIpushedy oui ntosomeone
    youar enotwhent heonl ythingy oudi dwast o
    l
    ov eme.Iam sor ryf orkeepi ngSummerf rom
    you,Ihav enoexcusef orthat .Iam sor ryfor
    stabbi
    ngy ouandal mostkil
    li
    ngyou,Ishoul
    dn’t
    havedonet hatwheny oumanagedt oforgi
    ve
    mewhenIcheat .Iam sorr
    yforhurt
    igyouwi t
    h
    Sadi,f
    ormanhandl i
    ngy outry
    ingtomakey ou
    feelwhatIam feeli
    ngwheny oudon’tdeseve.I
    am sorryf
    orhurtingourson.”
    Itookadeepbr
    eat
    hbl
    i
    nki
    ngawaymyt
    ear
    s.
    “Abe…”
    Hesni ff
    ed.“Il
    ovey ouanditmakesmeweak.I
    wishIwasst r
    ongerthanthiswheni tcomest o
    you.IloveyousomuchandIwanty ou.Iknowa
    l
    othashappened, mostofitwhi chismyf ault.I
    wanty ou,i
    t’
    shasal waysbeeny ou.Please…
    pleasecomehome.Idon’ twantt oleav eneither
    doIwanty out oleaveme.Pl easecomeback
    home.Idon’twantt ohurty ou,Ihavenot hing.
    I
    t’sjustme.Keagokopababe…pl ease…t ellme
    whatt odotof i
    xthis,Iwi
    l
    l doit.”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #80

    Itookadeepbr eathf i
    ghtingmyownt ears.“I
    am al sosor r
    yforev erythingIhav edoneAbe, I
    hav ecr eat edadr iftiny ourfamil
    y .Wor dscan
    nev erbegi ntoexpr esshowmuchsor r
    yIam but
    Idon’ tt hinkt hi
    srelat i
    onshipcanst il
    lgoon.
    Ev enifwet rytofixt hi
    ngs, i
    twillneverbet he
    sameagai n.Al othashappened, al otwhichI
    hav ef or givenbutcan’ tov erl
    ook.Ilovey oubut
    thisrel ationshipisj usttoxic.Iwantt omov eon
    from it.Youhav eachi l
    dont hewayt oo.”
    “
    Sadi
    wil
    lst
    aywi
    tht
    hechi
    l
    d.”
    “
    Thent
    omor
    rowy
    ousayInev
    erwant
    edt
    otake
    careofy ourki
    ds.Iam notgoi ngtobeapar tof
    that.Iam sorr
    ybutt histi
    meIam notdoi ngit
    .
    Formyownsani ty.IloveyoubutIam tir
    edof
    settl
    ingwhereIclearlydon’tbel
    onginthename
    ofreceivi
    nglove.
    ”Ot engwal kedoutall
    dressed.
    Hel ookedatmeput ti
    ngonhi scapthenFrench
    kissedmeput ti
    nghi shandsonmywai stwhil
    e
    Abespoke.
    “Maybeweshoul
    dgof orseriouscounsel
    ing.I
    am wil
    li
    ngt
    odot hat
    .Iknowwher eIwent
    wrongandIwanttofi
    xthings.Pleasegi
    vemea
    chance.
    ”
    Otengst
    eppedbackandkissedmycheek.I
    t
    ookadeepbr eat
    h.“
    Ihav
    et ogo,by
    e.”
    Ihungupandl
    ookedatOt
    eng.“
    Youar
    egoi
    ng
    towork?
    ”
    “
    Yeah.Di
    dtheygot
    otakey
    ourcl
    othes?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    lpassbyt
    henewhouseandseey
    ou
    guy
    slat
    er.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hekissedmeonelastt
    imet
    henwal
    kedt
    ohi
    s
    caranddrov
    eoff
    .

    *
    **

    Inhi
    scar,
    Otengt
    ookhi
    sri
    ngi
    ngphoneand
    answer
    ed.
    “
    Yeah?
    ”
    “
    Hav
    eyouspokent
    oyourmot
    her
    ?”
    “
    Iam goi
    ngt
    ospeakt
    ohert
    oday
    .”
    “Ok,shehastogot oChi
    naf ort
    reat
    ment.I
    spoketoaf ri
    endofminethereandtheyar
    e
    readytorecei
    veher.
    ”
    “
    Chi
    na?
    ”
    “
    Yeahandi
    twi
    l
    lbeexpensi
    ve.Ver
    yexpensi
    ve.
    ”
    “
    Itdoesn’
    tmat
    ter
    .”
    “
    AndEazi
    ?”
    “
    Whatabouther
    ?”
    “
    Didy
    out
    ell
    her
    ?”
    “
    No.
    ”
    “
    Soy
    ouar
    egoi
    ngt
    ocont
    inuewi
    thi
    ncest
    ?”
    “I
    fIcouldjustl
    eave,Iwoul
    dhavelongleftbutI
    l
    oveher .Idon’
    tev
    enknowhowt hathappened
    butIloveherandjustthet
    houghtofleavi
    ngher
    i
    sf ucki
    ngmeup. ”
    “
    Soy
    ou’
    drat
    herdat
    eyoursi
    ster
    ?”
    “Idon’tcarehowy ouputitli
    kebutIam not
    l
    ettinghergo, Il
    ovehertoomuchf orthat.I
    t’
    s
    notmyf aultthatpeopledon’
    ttake
    responsi bi
    l
    ityoftheirDNA’soutther
    e,had
    Rant uanglongt akenresponsi
    bil
    it
    yofEazi we
    woul dn’tbeher eandhehasal otofkidsout
    there,may behi sownkidshav esl
    eptwitheach
    ot
    herunknowi
    ngl
    y.
    ”
    “
    Igett
    hatbut
    -“
    “Therearenobuts.WhatifEazi
    didn’
    ttell
    me
    thenameofherf ather
    ?Iam goingtopret
    endI
    don’tknow.Iam notwalki
    ngawayfrom her.
    ”
    “
    Ok,Iunder
    standy
    oubutatl
    eastshedeser
    ves
    t
    oknowandmakeadecisionforher
    sel
    f.
    ”
    “
    Iam nott
    ell
    i
    nghert
    hat
    .Andi
    fshef
    indsout
    ,I
    wi
    ll
    dealwit
    hitt
    hen.
    ”
    Barr
    ychuckl
    ed.“
    Okay!Buty
    ouknowwhent
    hey
    fi
    ndoutwhat’
    sgoingt
    ohappenri
    ght
    ?”
    “YeahbutifEaziandIhav eachi
    ldtheni
    twil
    l
    foreverbetoolat
    e.Iam justwai
    ti
    ngforhert
    o
    hav eherdi
    vorcefi
    nali
    zed.”
    “
    Baf
    anaba!
    ”
    “Wanyela.Al
    otofpeoplearefucki
    ngthei
    r
    si
    bli
    ngsunknowil
    nglyoutt
    here,Eazii
    snoteven
    myfather’
    sdaught
    erormother’sdaught
    er.She
    i
    sfrom t
    heotherf
    ami
    l
    y ,
    sheismycousi
    n.And
    don’
    tfor
    gety
    ouoncefuckedShar
    on.
    ”
    “
    Iwasn’
    tinl
    ovewi
    thher
    .”
    “Youfuckedyourcousi
    n,t
    hereisnosuchthi
    ng
    asIwasn’tinl
    ovewithher
    ,attheendyou
    fuckedher.
    ”
    “
    Ok.Igoty
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Good.Wewi
    l
    ltal
    k.”
    Hehungupanddr ov et hr
    oughanopengat e.He
    parkedhi scarandst eppedoutwal ki
    ngtowar ds
    thedoorandopenedwal kingin.Heclosedt he
    doorbehi ndhimt henwal kedaroundthehouse
    ti
    llhefoundAbel yingont hebed.Hetookout
    hiscigarett
    eandl ight editupst ari
    ngathi m.He
    fi
    nishedhi scigaret tet henwal kedtotheensui t
    e
    wherehef i
    ll
    edt het ubwi thwat erandcame
    backf orAbewhowasst i
    ll sl
    eepi
    ng.He
    draggedhi mt ot hebat hroom whi l
    eAbeopened
    hiseyesconf usedofwhat ’sgoi
    ngon.Ot eng
    dippedhisheadinsidethewater
    ,Abekicked
    tryi
    ngt ofi
    ghtbutOtengexhal
    edallhi
    spower
    onhi m andashegotweakerhepul l
    edhim out
    throwinghim onthefl
    oor.Abecoughedstari
    ng
    athim.
    “
    Goodmor
    ning…”
    “
    Howdi
    dyougeti
    n?”
    “Thr
    oughthedoor .Iwast hi
    nkingmay bewecan
    tal
    k,mantoman.Idon’ twanttohurtyouorkill
    you.Iam t
    ell
    i
    ngy ou,li
    fewoul dbemor eeasieri
    f
    youaredead.Shewi l
    l obvi
    ouslycr
    yf oryou,
    gri
    eveyoubutay earort wot henl
    ater,she
    wouldmov eon,r
    ightnowy ouarenotexactly
    thebestmanoutt here.”
    Abegotupwi pingwat erof
    fhi
    sface.“Il
    oveEazi.
    Iknowshet hi
    nksImaywantt ohurtherbutI
    am overthat
    .Ilovethiswomansomuch, she
    doesn’
    tknowj usthowmuchIl oveher.Iwould
    giv
    eany t
    hingforher.Iwantmyfamilyback,I
    don’
    tev
    enwanttof
    ightwi
    thyou.Ij
    ustwantt
    o
    fi
    xmyfami
    ly
    .Ican’
    tli
    vewi
    thouther
    .”
    Otengsi ghed.“AsmuchasIwantt ofuckyou
    upr i
    ghtnow, Igetthatyoul oveherandy ou
    wantherbackbuti t’st
    ool atefort hatnowandI
    am there.Youhady ourchance, y our ui
    nedi t
    andt hat’
    swasal lyou.YouandEazi have
    nothingtodi scussconsi deringt hef actthatyou
    alsobrokeupwi t
    hherchi ldsoi fIcat chy ou
    anywher enearher , Iam goingt of ucky ouup.I
    don’ttakelightlytopeopl ewhopl ayi nmy
    terr
    it
    oryort ryhur t
    ingthepeopl eIl ove.Keepup
    withthatbehav i
    or,keepupt ry
    ingt oscar eher
    andwat chasy ourdeat hdoacount down.I
    don’tdot hreats,Imakepr omises. ”
    Otengt ookouthisgun.“AndwhenIt akeout
    this,Iam nottaki
    ngi
    toutforjokes.Iam
    war ningyouboy ,
    goandcryyourdepr essedass
    elsewher ebecausei
    fit
    ’sanywherenearEazi I
    willbet heonetobur
    ryyou.”
    Ot
    engwal
    kedoutwhi
    stl
    i
    ngt
    oasong.

    *
    **

    Latert
    hatday,Lonast ookhersonfr
    om the
    backseatandwal kedi
    nsideLinaAt
    torneys.The
    recept
    ioni
    stsmiledstari
    ngather.
    “
    Hi,
    isLi
    nai
    n?”
    “
    Doy
    ouhav
    eanappoi
    ntment
    ?”
    “
    Iam hersi
    ster
    ,Ij
    ustwantt
    oseeher
    .”
    “
    Ok,
    letmechecki
    fshei
    snott
    oobusy
    .”
    Lonasnoddedasshecall
    ed.Mi
    nutesl at
    ershe
    walkedi
    nsideLi
    na’
    soffi
    ceandstaredather
    si
    sterwhosatbehi
    ndthedeskholdingapen.
    “
    Hi,
    Ihopey
    ouar
    enott
    oobusy
    .”
    Li
    nashrugged.“
    Iam f
    orev
    erbusy
    ,howcanI
    hel
    pyou?”
    Lonasswall
    owedherpr
    idestari
    ngathersi
    ster
    .
    “Icametoapol
    ogi
    zeforever
    ythi
    ngIdidtohurt
    you.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ryf
    oral
    lthepai
    nIcausedy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Ok?
    ”
    “Yeah,
    lookevenify
    oudidn’
    tapol
    ogi
    ze,
    Iwasn’
    t
    goingt
    ol oseany
    thi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Ijustwant
    edt
    oapol
    ogi
    ze.
    ”
    “
    Missi
    onaccompl
    i
    shed.
    ”
    “
    Ifyoudon’
    tacceptmyapol
    ogy
    ,whycan’
    tyou
    j
    ustsayso?
    ”
    “
    Oh?Ther
    eisst
    il
    lmor
    eyouwantt
    osay
    ?”
    “Iam tr
    yingtoapologizebutifyoudon’taccept
    myapol ogyit
    ’sok.Iwon’ tf
    orceyou.Iam not
    surpr
    ised.Youaret hetypetoholdagr udgeti
    ll
    y
    ouent
    ery
    ourgr
    ave.
    ”
    “Youdestroyedmymarri
    age,soyes,
    Iwil
    ltake
    thisonetothegrav
    e.Idon’
    tevenseeyouasmy
    sister
    .Getout.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    esobi
    tt
    er,
    it’
    sdi
    stur
    bing.
    ”
    Linatappedherbeaut i
    fular
    tif
    ici
    alnail
    sonthe
    tabl
    esmi li
    ng.“Andy ouneedthebeaut yspahun,
    yournail
    sar echippedandy oulookashy.That
    chil
    d’sli
    psaredry .Goanddosomet hi
    ngabout
    i
    t.”
    Lonassmiled.“Thankyoufornoti
    cinghowmy
    chi
    ld’
    sli
    psar e.Howisitgoingontheinfer
    ti
    le
    si
    de?Sti
    llwombl ess?Ohsor r
    y,st
    il
    lbar
    ren?I
    hopeyounowhav eenoughmoneyt of
    ixit
    .”
    Shestoodupandwalkedout
    .Li
    natookadeep
    breat
    hbli
    nkingawayhert
    ear
    s.Herphoner
    ang
    thenshereachedf
    orit
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o…”
    Herauntstar
    tedsi
    nging.“Nnal
    ewenar a
    dumalana…dumalana,raadumalana…”
    Li
    nal
    aughed.“
    Aunt
    y!”
    “
    Arey
    our
    eadyf
    ort
    omor
    row?
    ”
    “
    Yesaunt
    y.”
    “Howf arareyou?Ineedy ouheretoni
    ght,
    I
    arri
    vedinthemor ni
    ng.Youruncleissohappy.
    Thepr epar
    ati
    onsarer eady.ThePheko’
    swill
    be
    heretomorrowmor ning.Ineedyouhereby
    toni
    ghtt of
    inal
    izeeverythi
    ng.”
    “
    Ehmma.
    ”
    “
    Ever
    ythi
    ngi
    sgoi
    ngt
    ogowel
    l
    .”
    “Whati
    fTancan’
    tst
    andupt
    othef
    actt
    hatI
    can’
    thaveki
    ds?”
    “
    Whyar
    eyout
    hinki
    ngl
    i
    ket
    hat
    ?”
    “Whati
    shetur
    nsoutl
    i
    key
    ourhusbandand
    haveki
    dsal
    lover
    ?”
    “Tanisnotmyhusband.Don’
    tcompar
    ethem.
    Didn’
    tyousayyouweregoingt
    oseethedoct
    or
    i
    nSout hAfr
    ica?
    ”
    “
    Wear
    e.”
    “
    Good.St
    opt
    hinki
    ngnegat
    ivel
    y.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Good.Whatt
    imear
    eyoul
    eav
    ingGabs?
    ”
    “
    Rightnow,Ij
    ustcamet
    osi
    gnaf
    ewt
    hingsat
    t
    heoffi
    ce.”
    “
    Ok.Seey
    ou.
    ”
    Linahungupstandi
    ngupt hengr
    abbedhercar
    keysandhandbag.Outsi
    deshegotinhercar
    thendrov
    eoffputti
    ngonhersunglasses.

    *
    **

    Il
    ookedatt
    hemymar
    ket
    ingdi
    rect
    orcl
    osi
    ngof
    f
    herpr
    esent
    ati
    oninf
    rontofmeandt
    heboar
    d
    membersthenshel
    ookedatme.
    “
    Ifwetakethi
    sdi
    rect
    ion,
    asunusual
    asi
    tis,
    we
    wil
    lgofar
    .”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Ili
    kethatconcept
    ,let
    ’sr
    uni
    tfort
    hree
    mont
    hsandrev
    iewi t
    .”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Ist
    oodup.“
    Ok,
    thanky
    oual
    l
    .”
    Iwalkedoutandwenttomyoff
    icewher
    e
    Tendaiwaswaiti
    ngforme.Hesmil
    edst
    andi
    ng.
    “
    Iswear
    ,Idi
    dn’
    ttouchany
    thi
    ng.
    ”
    Il
    aughed.“
    MyPAwaswat
    chi
    ngy
    ou.Si
    t.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Webothsatdownthenhesi
    ghed.“
    Hedoesn’
    t
    knowIam her
    e.”
    Inoddedl
    eani
    ngbackonmyseat
    .
    “
    Hel
    ovesy
    ou.Hel
    ovesy
    ousomuchandt
    hisi
    s
    hurtinghim.Iknowtwokidsisalottotakebut
    pleasegi v
    ehim achance.Hedoesn’
    twanta
    divorce.HelovesyousomuchEazi ,
    youandI
    knowi t.Youknowwhaty oushar
    eisr ealand
    rare.Pleasedon’
    tgiv
    euponhi m.”
    “Il
    ov ehi mt oo.Iam notgoi ngt ol i
    eandsayI
    don’twhenIdobutwedon’ tmakeeachot her
    happy .Lov eisnotal way senoughandIam
    choosi ngmy selfandmyson.I fAbeandIar e
    meantt obet henwewi l
    lbebutf ornow, Iwant
    out.Idon’ tfeelsaf e,hemakesf eelunsaf e.He
    mayl ov emebuthemayki llme.Mysonneeds
    me, hei sjusty oung.Heal readyl osthisfat her,
    Moemedi wasn’ tthebestmanorf atherbutt hat
    washi sf ather.Theonl ymanonear thwho
    wouldnev ertellMal ct hathei snothi sfather .
    Theonl ymanwhoIt rustednott oev erthr ow
    Malcwhenhehasnoone.Abehur tmyson, he
    hurthim andmay benowhei sjusty oungt o
    underst andbuthei sgoingt ogr owand
    under stand.”Tearsrandownmycheeks.“ Il
    ov e
    yourbr otherbutIcan’t.Thepricetopayforthe
    l
    ov ei stoomuch.I tdrainsme.Ther eisanother
    woman, sheisinhishouse, pr
    egnant.Iwai
    ted
    thewhol eyearforhimt othrowdivorcepapers
    tomyf aceandt ellmeanot herwomanhas
    replacedme.Iam done.Heshoul datleast
    showt hathehaschangedt hroughSadi.She
    l
    ov eshi m.Iam notgoi ngtobet hereason
    anot herwomancr ies.
    ”
    Tendai
    lookedatme.“
    Eazi
    -“
    “Andyes,IknowIhur thimt oo,Isl
    eptwi t
    hhis
    brot
    her,causedbadbl oodandIwi llf
    orever
    apol
    ogizeforit.Alothashappened, thereis
    j
    ustalotoft oxi
    cantsinther el
    ati
    onshipand
    AbeandIwi llneverbethesameagai nev enif
    wewer etogetbackt ogether.Therei
    sj ustalot
    ofdamage. ”
    “
    Cany
    out
    hinkabouti
    tatl
    east
    ?”
    Ishr
    uggedthenl
    ookedatmyphoner
    ingi
    ng.
    Tendai
    stoodupwit
    hasmi l
    e.
    “
    Byt
    heway
    ,youl
    ookbeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    Hewal
    kedoutthenIanswer
    edOt
    eng’
    scal
    lwi
    th
    asmi
    leofexci
    tement
    .
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “Ifl
    ewoutofGabor
    onet
    ogetmymot
    her
    ,shei
    s
    sick.
    ”
    “
    What
    ’swr
    ong?
    ”
    “ShehasAcuteLymphobl ast
    icLeukemia.She
    wasoncediagonisedwithitt
    hreeyearsback,
    gottr
    eatmentbutnowi t
    ’sbackagainandi t
    seemsmor evi
    olentthanthelastti
    me.”
    “
    Iam sosor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lseeyoumay
    bet
    omor
    rowbutIwi
    l
    lcal
    l
    y
    oul
    ater
    .”
    “Ok.Iam r
    eal
    l
    ysor
    ry.I
    sther
    eany
    thi
    ngIcan
    do.”
    “
    Yeah,
    staypr
    ett
    y.”
    Ichuckl
    ed.“
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Ilef
    tsomet
    hingfory
    ou,
    Ihadi
    tdel
    i
    ver
    edt
    o
    y
    ournewhouse.”
    “
    Ican’
    twai
    ttogohomenow.
    ”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    HehungupthenIwentongoogleandsearched
    f
    orAcuteLy
    mphoblaxt
    icLeukemiaandsadly
    r
    eadthr
    ough.MyphonerangthenIpickedwit
    h
    myeyesonmylaptop.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Goodaft
    ernoon,
    thi
    sisScar
    letBeaut
    yParl
    or,
    youandyoursonhavebeenbookedforaful
    l
    dayinourspatomor
    rowbeginni
    ngat9a.m.”
    “
    What
    ?Idi
    dn’
    tmakeabooki
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    itwasmadebyOt
    engBogat
    su.
    ”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Oh,
    tomor
    rowat9?
    ”
    “
    Yesma’
    am.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lbet
    her
    ewi
    thmyson.Buthei
    sonl
    y8.
    ”
    “Weknow,j
    ustbr
    inghi
    m.Wehav
    esomet
    hing
    speci
    alf
    orhi
    m.”
    “
    Ok,
    thanky
    ou.Iwi
    l
    lbet
    her
    e.”
    “
    Hav
    eyour
    sel
    fagoodday
    .”
    Ihungupandtri
    edcall
    inghi
    m buthisphone
    didn’
    tgot
    hrough.Iset
    tl
    edforatextt
    henput
    myphoneawaywi thahugesmile.

    *
    **

    Saditr
    iedcal
    l
    ingAbeagai
    nbuthisphone
    conti
    nuedtori
    ngunanswer
    ed.Shesadlyl
    ooked
    attheti
    meandsighed.Hehadn’
    tcal
    ledever
    sincehel
    eft.Shethoughtf
    ull
    yscrol
    ledthrough
    herphoneandt appedhismother’
    snumber .He
    hadneverspokent oherandshewonder edi f
    Abehadfinall
    ytoldherornot.Herpoundedas
    thephonerangbutherinsecuri
    ti
    eshadherhol d
    thephonetohereartil
    lhismotheranswer ed.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    Shetookadeepbr
    eat
    h.“
    Dumel
    ang,
    thi
    sis
    Sadi
    .”
    “
    HowcanIhel
    pyou?
    ”
    “Iam Abe’sgi
    rl
    fri
    end,t
    herearesomeimpor t
    ant
    formsthatweredroppedhereathomet oday
    andtheyneedhissignature,
    Ican’
    tgetholdof
    him,i
    st hereachancethathemightbethere
    withyou?”
    “Whatar
    eyouri
    ntent
    ionswhenyousl
    eepwit
    ha
    marri
    edman?Doy ouknowhehasawifeanda
    chi
    ld?
    ”
    “
    Uh…”
    “
    Youthi
    nky
    oucanbui
    l
    dahomewi
    thamar
    ri
    ed
    man?
    ”
    “
    MaAbe-
    “
    “Abei
    sEazi
    ’
    shusband.Whycan’ty
    oufindyour
    ownman?Andyouthoughtt
    otraphim wi
    tha
    baby?
    ”
    Sadi
    tookadeepbr
    eathfi
    ghti
    nghert
    ear
    s.“
    He
    i
    stheonewhowantedthebaby.
    ”
    “Iwi
    llneveraccepty ou,l
    eavemysonalone.He
    i
    smar ri
    edandi sv erymuchinlovewi
    thhiswife.
    Heisheref i
    xi
    ngt hingswithher
    .Iam coming
    ther
    eandIbet ternotf i
    ndyouinmyson’s
    house.”
    Hismot herhungup, Sadislowl
    yputherphone
    withtearsrunningdownhercheeks.Hersister
    hadbeenr ightallal
    ongeitherwaywhywoul da
    guyli
    keAbel oveher?Shewascompl et
    elyout
    ofhisleague.Ithadbeensur pr
    isi
    ngt
    hathehad
    evenlookedather .Pai
    ncloggedherthroatas
    shethoughtofhiswife,
    shewasbeauti
    fulandit
    wasn’tsurpr
    isi
    ngthathewasnowfixi
    ngthings
    wit
    hher .Sheputherhandsonhermouthcrying.

    *
    **

    GinawalkedinsideTendai
    ’shouseholdi
    ngher
    whitecasserol
    ef ul
    lofwarmfoodandcl osed
    thedoorwi t
    hherf oot
    .Sheputthecasseroleon
    thekit
    chencount ersl
    ooki
    ngaroundTendai ’
    s
    kit
    chen,ther
    ewasawoman’ stouchtoit.
    “
    Abe!
    ”
    Shetookoutt
    woplat
    esanddishedf
    ort
    heboth
    oft
    hem thent
    ookherphoneandcal
    l
    edTaku.
    “
    Babe…”
    “Iam havi
    ngdinnerwit
    hAbe.Ineedtot
    alkt
    o
    him aboutEazi
    .Iam notgoi
    ngtoal
    lowhimto
    divor
    ceher.”
    “
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    lwai
    tfory
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Shehungupandwal kedupthestai
    rstot
    he
    guestr
    oom andknocked.“
    Abe,Iam comingi
    n.”
    Sheslowlyopenedt
    hedoorandwal kedin.Her
    hear
    tskippedasshefrozebytheentr
    ance,her
    bodyshakingasachil
    lrandownherspine.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #81

    Ginarushedtothebedwherehersonl
    ay
    unconsciousandshookhi
    m.
    “
    Abedi
    l
    e!Abedi
    l
    e!”
    Sheputherhandov erhisforeheadthenrushed
    outtotheki
    tchenwher eherphonewasand
    cal
    ledtheambulanceshaki ng.Awhilel
    aterthe
    ambulancedroveinandt heparamedicsrushed
    i
    nsidethehouse.Sheledt hem towherehewas
    andputhim onastretcher.
    “
    Isheok?
    ”
    “
    Fol
    l
    owust
    othehospi
    tal
    .”
    Shestoodstil
    lwatchi
    ngthem puthersoninsi
    de
    theambulancethendroveoff
    .Shegotinher
    owncaranddr ovebehindt
    heambul ance
    dial
    i
    ngTaku.
    “Taku,Iam nomywayt othehospi
    tal
    wit
    hAbe.
    Somethingiswrong.If
    oundhimlyi
    ng
    unconsciousonthebed.
    ”
    “
    Whi
    chhospi
    tal
    ?”
    “
    GPH.Ifanythi
    nghappenst
    omysonIwi
    l
    lnev
    er
    f
    orgi
    vemy self
    .”
    “
    Iam onmywayt
    her
    e.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Shehungupbl i
    nkingawayhertearsbutt
    hey
    stil
    lrandownhercheeks.Wi t
    honehand,she
    dial
    edEazi thenputthephoneonherear
    runningthroughar edr
    obbortwit
    hthe
    ambul ance.
    “
    Ma…”
    Ginasighed.“
    Eazi
    ,Iam onmywayt oGPH,
    pleasemeetmet her
    e.I
    t’saboutt
    imesomeone
    tell
    smewhat ’
    sgoingon.Abeis…somethi
    ngis
    wr ong.
    ”
    “
    What
    ’swr
    ong?
    ”
    “
    Ithi
    nkhet
    ri
    edcommi
    tt
    ingsui
    cide.Meetme
    t
    here.
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Shehungup,
    minutesl
    atershepar
    kedhercar
    astheambul
    ancedrov
    et otheemer
    gency
    ent
    rance.

    *
    **

    Ipar kedmycaratt hehospi talandsteppedout


    j
    ustasTi nost
    eppedoutoft hecarpar ked
    besi
    demi newi t
    hTsot lhe.Ilookedathi m and
    noddedoncet henwal kedinsi dethehospital
    real
    izingwewer eal
    l herefort hesamer eason.
    Ginal ookedatallofuswal ki
    ngov erthenst ood
    upwi pingawayhert ears.
    “
    Ma…”
    Shepul
    ledmei
    nforat
    ighthug.“
    Iam sohappy
    toseey
    ou.”
    Ihuggedherbackthenshefinall
    yletgoand
    huggedTinoandTsotl
    he.“Tendai i
    sonhisway
    .
    Yourfat
    herwenttogetmewat er
    .”
    Ti
    nonoddedt
    henl
    ookedatmewhi
    l
    eTsot
    lhe
    wat
    ched.It
    urnedt
    oGi
    na.
    “What’
    sgoingonEazi
    ?Whati
    sthi
    sdi
    vor
    ceIam
    hear
    ingabout?
    ”
    Itookadeepbr
    eat
    h.“
    AbeandIhav
    edeci
    dedt
    o
    endthi
    ngs.”
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    Ilookedinherdesper
    ateey
    est
    henswal
    l
    owed
    tearf
    ull
    y.“Icheat
    edonhim.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Wit
    hwho?
    ”
    “Withadif
    fer
    entman.Pleaser
    especthi
    s
    wishesandacceptSadi
    becauseshedidn’
    tdo
    anythi
    ngwrong.
    ”
    Gi
    nasteppedbackshaki
    ngherhead.“
    But
    …why
    ?
    Whatwaslacki
    ng?”
    “
    Not
    hing.Imadeami
    stake.
    ”
    “
    Doyouknowhowmuchhel
    ovesy
    ou?That
    manl
    ovesyousomuch!
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ryIdi
    sappoi
    ntedy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Ithoughtsohi
    ghl
    yofy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    Tendai
    appr
    oachedus.“
    Howi
    she?
    ”
    “
    Theysayheov erdosedonsomepill
    sbuthe
    wi
    ll
    befine.Butit
    ’sbecauseofEazi
    .Why?”
    Tendai
    lookedathi
    smot
    hergl
    ari
    ngme.“
    What
    ’s
    goi
    ngon?”
    “Eazicheat
    edonAbe.That
    ’swhyhewant
    sa
    divor
    ce.Wasitwi
    ththatmanIsawyouwi
    th?
    ”
    Il
    ookedatTendaiandsighed.“
    Ishouldgo.I
    don’
    tthi
    nkIshoul
    dbeher eforsever
    alreasons.
    Ihopehegetswel
    l soon.
    ”
    It
    urnedandwal
    kedawayanswer
    ing
    Ontl
    ametsi
    ’
    scal
    l.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Hey
    ,howar
    eyout
    oday
    ?”
    “
    Fine.Het
    ri
    edcommi
    tt
    ingsui
    cideori
    tseems
    l
    i
    kei t
    .”
    “
    Why
    ?”
    “
    Hedoesn’
    twantt
    hedi
    vor
    ceany
    mor
    e.”
    “
    And?
    ”
    “
    Iam notgoi
    ngback.
    ”
    Igoti
    nmycaranddrov
    eof
    f.“
    May
    bey
    out
    wo
    needsomespace.
    ”
    “
    Ontl
    a,wehavebeengi
    vi
    ngeachotherspace
    f
    orayearnow.Ihav
    ebeengoodassingl
    efor
    t
    hepastyear
    .”
    “
    Iam sor
    ryi
    t’
    sjustt
    hatIknowhel
    ovesy
    ouand
    t
    haty
    oulovehim.”
    “
    Iam choosi
    ngmypeaceoverev
    eryt
    hing.I
    wantt
    ogot oBal
    iwi
    thMalc.Mysonhasnev er
    t
    rav
    ell
    edy
    etIcanaf
    for
    dtaki
    nghi
    m pl
    aces.
    ”
    “
    Didy
    oul
    eav
    eOt
    eng’
    shouse?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Good.Ijustwishyouwouldstayawayfr
    om
    him.Idon’tli
    kehimforyou.Howdoy ousti
    l
    l
    fi
    ndyourselfli
    kingamanlikehim?Whoknows
    whathewi lldotoyouwhenangr y
    .Heget’
    s
    awaywi t
    hal ot,hewi
    llpr
    obablyki
    lly
    ouandno
    onewilleverknowitwashim.”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Thanky
    ouf
    orcal
    l
    ing.
    ”
    “Youar edeali
    ngwithsomet hi
    ngsopai nf
    ul,
    don’tl
    ethi mtakeadavantageofyou.Iknow
    youaredesper at
    eforlovebutcan’tyoujust
    stayalonewithMalcforawhi l
    e.Surely
    someonewhodeser vesyouwi l
    lcomeal ong
    someday .Notever
    yoney oumeethast olove
    you.”
    “
    Iam notdesper
    atef
    orl
    ove.
    ”
    “
    Youar e,i
    fyouwer enotthenyouwouldn’
    tfi
    nd
    yoursel
    fmixi
    ngy oursel
    fwithpeopl
    eli
    keOteng.
    He’sabadboy .
    ”
    “Thewayyouhat
    ehimyouwouldswearhedi
    d
    somethi
    ngtoyouper
    sonal
    l
    y.”
    “
    That
    ’snonsense.Ij
    ustdon’
    tli
    kehi
    mfory
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Ihav
    eani
    ncomi
    ngcal
    l
    ,Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lyou.
    ”
    Ihungupandanswer
    edanot
    hercal
    ldr
    oppi
    ng
    Ontl
    a’
    s.“
    Hell
    o?”
    “
    Hi,
    thi
    sisSadi
    .”
    “
    Oh,
    hi.
    ”
    “Iam notcal
    l
    ingtof
    ightwit
    hyou,
    Ijustwantt
    o
    askifAbeisther
    ewithyou.
    ”
    “
    No.Hei
    snot
    .”
    “
    Ok,
    thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Whendi
    dyoust
    artdat
    inghi
    m?”
    “
    Assoonashecamet
    oKasane.
    ”
    “
    Andy
    ouknewaboutmeal
    lthi
    swhi
    l
    e?”
    “No.Heonl ytoldmeabouty outwomonths
    back.Hesai dhewasdi vor
    cingyouandthatthe
    marriagewasl ongoverbecauseyousl
    eptwi t
    h
    hisbrother
    .Heassur edmey ouguyswere
    gett
    ingadi vorcebecauseIwasreadyt
    ol eav
    e.”
    “
    Wearegett
    ingadi
    vor
    ce.Hei
    sinhospi
    tal,
    his
    mot
    heral
    ert
    edmebutseemshewil
    lbefine.”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    nicet
    alki
    ngt
    oyouSadi
    .”
    Shechuckl
    ed.“
    Whyar
    eyousoni
    ce?
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tknow,
    IguessIwasbor
    nthatway
    .By
    e.”
    Ihungupup,minut
    eslaterIpar
    kedinfrontof
    mynewhouseandst eppedoutwithasmi l
    e.
    Damnitfel
    tgoodbeingahouseowner .Iwalked
    i
    nsidet
    hehouseandsmi ledatmyhelper.
    “
    Iam her
    e,y
    oucango.
    ”
    Shesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Ok.
    ”
    ShewalkedoutasIwalkedt
    othesi
    tt
    ingroom
    whereMal cwasbusywit
    hhi
    shome-work.
    “Needhelp?”
    “
    No,
    Iam done.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    letmechecki
    t.
    ”
    Hehandedmehisbookandl
    etmelook.Hi
    s
    badhandwr
    it
    ingmademecri
    ngebutal
    lthe
    answer
    swerecorr
    ect
    .
    “
    Youneedt
    oimpr
    ovey
    ourhandwr
    it
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Teachersaidmyhandwr
    it
    ingi
    sbet
    ter
    .Canwe
    v
    isi
    tyourfr
    iendnow?”
    Iputhi
    sbookdown.“
    Why
    ?”
    “
    Sot
    hatIcanpl
    ayhi
    sgame.
    ”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Wellhei
    snotathi
    shouse.Hi
    s
    motheri
    ssicksohewentt
    oseeher.”
    “
    Ok.Wewi
    l
    lgot
    omor
    rowt
    hen.
    ”
    Il
    ookedathi
    m andshookmyheadr
    eachi
    ngf
    or
    myphone.Hehadn’
    tcal
    ledasy
    etorevensent
    amessage.It
    appedhi
    snumberandcall
    edhim.
    Ashakyf
    emal
    evoi
    ceanswer
    ed.“
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi,
    canIspeakt
    oOt
    eng.
    ”
    “
    Oh,
    heyEazi
    …It
    ’sPenny
    .”
    “Hey,i
    sever
    ythi
    ngok?Di
    dyouguy
    sar
    ri
    ve
    safel
    y?”
    “
    Yes,wearr
    ivedawhil
    ebackbutwewer
    etoo
    l
    ate.Mamapassedon.”
    “
    Iam sosor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    “
    Howi
    sOt
    eng?
    ”
    “Taki
    ngitbad.Heblameshimself
    .It
    ’samess,
    heisangrywithhimsel
    f,wi
    thourfat
    her.
    ”She
    brokedowncrying.
    “
    Uhhshoul
    dIcome?Wi
    l
    lIbei
    ntr
    udi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Hewoul
    dreal
    l
    yappr
    eci
    atey
    ourpr
    esence.I
    t’
    s
    r
    eal
    l
    yst
    ressf
    ul.
    ”
    “
    Iam comi
    ng.Shakawer
    ight
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    IhungupandlookedatMalc,
    taki
    nghim wi
    th
    wasoutofthequesti
    on.It
    ookthephoneand
    cal
    ledt
    hehelper
    .
    “
    Gogont
    le,
    Iam sor
    rybutIneedy
    ouback.Di
    d
    y
    ouhaveplanst
    oni
    ght?”
    Shel
    aughed.“
    No,
    justmeal
    one.
    ”
    “Ok,Ineedy outocomeback,Iwi
    l
    lpayyou
    extr
    af ort
    his.Iam goi
    ngawayandIneed
    someoneher e.Youar
    etheonl
    yoneItr
    ust
    aroundhim.”
    “
    Iam comi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    oui
    nat
    axi
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    tel
    lhi
    mtocomeback.Iwi
    l
    lpay
    .”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Mal
    col
    mlookedatme.“
    Wher
    ear
    eyougoi
    ng?
    ”
    “Myfr
    iend’
    smot
    heri
    sdead.Iam goi
    ngt
    osee
    him.
    ”
    “
    Ishesad?Iwoul
    dbesadi
    fyoudi
    ed.Idon’
    t
    wanty
    outodie.
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    edandhuggedhi
    m.“
    Iwon’
    tdi
    e.”
    “
    Tel
    lhi
    m Iam sor
    ryIsai
    dIdi
    dn’
    tli
    kehi
    m.”
    Il
    aughedandwal kedtomyr oom thencame
    backinmyj eansandsneakerscarryi
    ngmy
    smallbag.Gogontl
    ewalkedinsidethehouse.I
    handedhert hemoneyforthetaxi
    .
    “
    Payhi
    m.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    ShewalkedoutasIwenttothekit
    chenand
    grabbeda1.5l
    i
    tterbot
    tl
    eofwaterthenhugged
    Malconelastt
    ime.“St
    aywit
    hAunt y,beagood
    boyok?”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Il
    ookedatGogontewalki
    ngbackinsi
    dethe
    house.“Rr
    agweMalcandIarenotingood
    books,hemaycall
    youaskingforMal
    c,don’
    t
    gi
    vehim myson,communicatewit
    hmef i
    rst
    .”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “Pleasedon’ topenf orany one.Iact i
    vatedthe
    securityl ocks,thedoori selectronic,thecode
    foropeni ngisintheki tchen.Ifyoudeact i
    vat
    e
    thesecur it
    ylocksal ldoorsunl ockont hei
    rown
    sor atheruset hecode.Cal lmei fany thing
    happensori fyouneedme.Ev eni fit
    ’s
    somet hingsmal l,callme.Ev erythi
    ngi sthere
    buther eissomemoneyi ncaseofan
    emer gency .
    ”
    Ihandednotesofmoney.Shesmiled.“
    Eazi
    ,we
    aregoingt
    obef i
    ne.St
    opstressi
    ng.”
    “
    Ok.Don’
    tlethi
    m bul
    l
    yyou.
    ”
    “
    Iwon’
    t.
    ”
    “
    Ok.By
    e.By
    eMal
    c!”
    “
    Byemama.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    Hel
    aughed.“
    Met
    oo.
    ”
    Iwalkedoutandj umpedi nmycart hendrove
    out.ThegateclosedasIdr oveoff
    .Ilookedat
    ti
    mer eali
    zi
    ngIwasgoi ngtodri
    vethroughout
    thenightti
    llmorning.Ist
    oppedthecarbyt he
    fi
    ll
    ingstati
    onthensmi ledatt
    heattendant.
    “
    Ful
    ltankpl
    ease.
    ”
    Isteppedoutandcheckedt hety
    repressure.I
    gotbacki nsi
    dethecarasthefuelat
    tendant
    fi
    nished.Ihandedhi
    m cash.
    “Canyoucl
    eanmywi
    ndscr
    eenwi
    tht
    he
    change.
    ”
    Hesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Ofcause.
    ”
    Hequickl
    ycl eanedmywi ndscr eenthengave
    meat humbsupasIdr ov eoff.Myhear t
    pounded,Iwasf aci
    ngmor ethanat housand
    ki
    lometer
    sahead.Knowi ngOt eng,hewould
    havedonet hesamef orme.Iconnect edmy
    phonetothecar ’
    sBluetoothspeakert hen
    pl
    ayedTor yLanez’ssongsi ngingalong.

    Ev
    ery
    onef
    all
    sinl
    ovesomet
    imes
    Idon’
    tknow‘
    bouty
    oubuti
    tai
    ntacr
    ime
    I
    fyoul
    etmwl
    ovey
    ou,
    lov
    eyou,
    lov
    eyouf
    or
    l
    ong
    Ti
    mebaby
    I
    fyouletmet
    ouchy
    ou,
    andi
    fyoul
    etmel
    ove
    y
    ou‘ti
    l
    l
    Themor
    ning,
    oh

    *
    Afterafewhour sintodrivi
    ng, Itookadeep
    breathlookingatt hebushonmysi deswithmy
    footont heaccel erator
    .Itookadeepbr eathto
    calm my self,Ihadn’ tcameacr ossanycarf or
    anhournow.Iy awnedt hengr abbedt heenergy
    drinkandt ookasi pasadancehal lsongfil
    l
    ed
    thecar.Myhear tskippedasani mpalaran
    acrossther oadf ewmet er
    saheadofme.I
    steppedont heaccel er
    atorev enmor eandout
    ofnowher eanot herimpalar anont heroad.I
    panickedt urningt hesteeringwheel t
    oav oi
    dit.
    Tyresscr eechedont heroadasIhi titveeri
    ng
    offtheroadspi nning.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe
    #82

    Thecarspunar oundandf i
    nall
    yst opped,I
    swallowedhar dshakingwithfear .Isl
    owlyf
    reed
    my selffr
    om theseatbeltwhichhadt i
    ght
    ened
    met ot heseatthenlookedout .Therewas
    nothingbutdarknesssur r
    oundi ngme.Itooka
    coupleofdeepbr eathingexercisesthen
    reachedf ormyr i
    ngi
    ngphone.
    “
    He-
    hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Oteng?
    ”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Iam notsur
    e.”
    “Whyoneart
    har
    eyoudr
    ivi
    ngatni
    ght
    ?It
    ’s
    danger
    ous!
    ”
    “It
    houghtIwoul
    dcomeandseey
    ou.Ihear
    d
    aboutyourmom.”
    “
    Thatdoesn’
    tmeanyoushoul
    ddr
    ivei
    nthe
    middl
    eoftheni
    ghtEazi
    .”
    “
    Ihi
    tani
    mpal
    a.”
    “
    Fuck!
    ”
    “
    Iveer
    edof
    fther
    oadbutIam f
    ine.
    ”
    “Eazi
    ,Ineedyoutogoback.Obv
    iousl
    yyouar
    e
    notyetthatf
    ar.
    ”
    “
    No…”
    “
    Eazi
    -“
    “Iwil
    lst
    opsomewher
    eal
    ongt
    heway
    ,Iam not
    goingback.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sl
    ate,
    Idon’
    twanty
    oudr
    ivi
    ngatni
    ght
    .”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lst
    opnear
    bywher
    eit
    ’ssaf
    e.”
    “Idon’
    twanty oudri
    v i
    ngatnight,t
    herearewil
    d
    animalswhichlovejumpingintotheroadoutof
    nowhere,Ican’tbel
    i
    ev eyouaredrivi
    nghere,
    you
    couldhavetakenaf l
    ighttomorrowmor ni
    ng.
    Ther
    eareel
    ephantsonyourwayt
    oShakawe,
    canyougoback,Iwi
    ll
    makeaplanfory
    ou
    tomorr
    owmorning.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    egoi
    ngback?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Whodi
    dyoul
    eav
    eMal
    cwi
    th?
    ”
    “
    Thenanny
    .”
    “
    Ok.Cal
    lmei
    fany
    thi
    nghappens.Becar
    eful
    .”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Ihungupandr ever
    sedthenj
    oinedtheroad
    l
    eavingtheimpalawhi
    chlaydeadont heroad.I
    l
    ookedatt her
    oadsignonthesideoftheroad
    andsighedtur
    ningupthevol
    umel i
    steni
    ngt o
    Davido.

    *
    **
    TinowatchedasTendaiandhi sparent
    sgot
    i
    nsideAbe’sroom.Tsotl
    helookedathim sadly
    real
    izi
    nghadshejustkeptquietabouthim and
    Eazi,t
    heywouldn’
    tbeheretoday.
    “
    Won’
    tyougoandseehi
    m?”
    “
    Iam par
    toft
    her
    easonhei
    sinsi
    de,
    Idoubthe
    want
    stoseeme.
    ”
    “
    Buti
    t’
    sbeenov
    eray
    ear
    .”
    “
    Youdon’tunderst
    and,
    hel
    ovesEazi
    andI
    r
    uinedt
    hingsforhi
    m.”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.Ishoul
    dn’
    thav
    esai
    dany
    thi
    ng.
    ”
    Hel
    ookedather
    .“Iam gl
    ady
    our
    eal
    i
    zei
    tnow.
    ”
    Tendai
    wal
    kedoutandl
    ookedatTi
    no.“
    Aren’
    t
    yougoi
    ngi
    nsi
    de?”
    “
    Doeshewantt
    oseeme?
    ”
    “
    Youar
    ehi
    sbr
    other
    ,hel
    i
    kesi
    tornot
    .Youmade
    ami
    stake,
    li
    keanyot
    herhumanbei
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Ishecomi
    ngt
    otheweddi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Ihaven’
    taskedbuthei
    sgoingt
    obet
    her
    e.Iwi
    l
    l
    makesureofit
    .HiTsot
    lhe.
    ”
    Tsot
    lhesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Hel
    l
    o.”
    Herphonerangthensheansweredexcusi
    ng
    her
    self
    .Ti
    nol ookedathi
    solderbr
    other
    .
    “
    Het
    ri
    edki
    l
    li
    nghi
    msel
    f?”
    “No,hejustwant
    edtosl
    eepforali
    tt
    lewhi
    l
    eand
    dranksomesleepi
    ngpil
    l
    s.I
    t’
    snothi
    ngmajor.
    ”
    “
    Hehasanewgi
    rl
    fr
    iend?
    ”
    “Yes,may beifitwasn’
    tforthislady,hewoul
    d
    havewor kedoutt hi
    ngswi t
    hEazi butnowI
    don’tkow.Ithinkit’
    stoolate.Anotherbabyi
    sa
    l
    ottodeal wi
    th.”
    Tashawalkedoverandl
    ookedatherbr
    other
    s.
    “Wherei
    she? ”
    Ti
    nopoi
    nted.“
    Insi
    de.
    ”
    “
    Isheok?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Abe’
    sdoctorwal
    kedoverandsmi
    l
    edatt
    hem
    fi
    xi
    ngherspect
    acl
    es.“
    Hello…”
    Tashal
    ookedather
    .“Whathappenedt
    ohi
    m?”
    “
    Asl
    ightover
    doseofsl
    eepi
    ngpi
    l
    ls.Hei
    sgoi
    ng
    t
    obefi
    ne.”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Letmeseehowhei
    sdoi
    ng.
    ”
    Shewal kedinsidether
    oom andmi nut
    esshe
    walkedoutwi thGinaandTaku.“Heisdrowsy
    ,
    tomorrowy ouwi l
    lbeabl
    etotalktohim.”
    Gi
    nanodded.“
    Thanky
    oudoct
    or.
    ”
    “
    Justdoi
    ngmyj
    ob.
    ”
    Shewal
    kedawayt
    henTendai
    lookedathi
    s
    fami
    l
    y.“
    Iwantt
    oaskhersomethi
    ng.Fr
    om ther
    e
    Iam goi
    nghome.Goodni
    ght
    .”
    Hequicklyfol
    l
    owedafterherandwalkedinside
    herof
    fice.Shetur
    nedandlookedathim witha
    smil
    e.
    “
    Tendai
    ,Iam wor
    king.
    ”
    “
    Iwon’
    ttakel
    ong.
    ”
    Hewal kedov ertoherandpi ckedheruppl aci
    ng
    heront hetablewithhisli
    psonher s.Sheput
    herhandi nhispantsandt ouchedhi sharddick
    withasl i
    ghtmoan.Tendai pulledhert othe
    edgeoft hetableandpulledherpant iestothe
    si
    de.Het ookouthisdickandsl i
    dinwi tha
    grunt.Shemoanedl oudl
    ywr appingherlegs
    aroundhiswai stashestartedmov i
    nghi swaist
    .
    .
    Sheclosedhereyesti
    ghteni
    ngaroundhim as
    hespeduphi st
    hrusthit
    ti
    ngtheri
    ghtcornerst
    il
    l
    shefell
    apart
    .Tendaifol
    lowedaf
    terherand
    sti
    l
    leddeepinsi
    deherf i
    l
    li
    ngherup.Hestepped
    backgi
    vi
    ngherasof
    tki
    ssont
    hel
    i
    ps.
    “
    Whenam Iseei
    ngy
    ouagai
    n?”
    “
    Myhusbandi
    sbackbutheismeantt
    ogof
    ora
    t
    ri
    pinafewday
    s.Iwi
    llcomeover
    .”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Shegotoffthetabl
    ereachi
    ngforherwet
    wipersandwipedhersel
    f.“
    Hav
    ey oustar
    ted
    tr
    eatement?
    ”
    Helookedatherandshookhi
    shead.“
    No.I
    t’
    s
    saf
    etohaveunprotect
    edsex.
    ”
    Shel
    aughed.“
    Ok.
    ”
    Tendai
    kissedheronel
    astt
    imeandwal
    kedout
    .

    *
    **

    Thefol
    lowi
    ngday,l
    atemorni
    ngSadigoti
    nsi
    de
    thecabatt
    heair
    portwi
    thherhugebumpwhil
    e
    car
    ryi
    ngSummert
    hensi
    ghedput
    ti
    ngherdown.
    “
    Pleaset
    akemet
    oGPH.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Shetookoutherr
    ingi
    ngphoneandanswer
    ed
    hersi
    ster
    ’scal
    l
    .“Hell
    o?”
    “
    Mamawasaski
    ngwheny
    ouar
    esendi
    ng
    money
    .”
    “Idon’
    thav
    emoney .Ihadt
    obuybabycl
    othes
    andaf ewt
    hings.
    ”
    “
    Isn’
    tAbebuy
    ing?
    ”
    “
    Hei
    sbutwear
    ehel
    pingeachot
    her
    .”
    “Soy ouaretel
    li
    ngmey ouusedal
    lyourmoney
    ony ourbaby?Wedon’ thav
    efoodandour
    electr
    ici
    tyi
    sf i
    nished.
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    thavemoneyMaat
    la,
    ifIhadIwoul
    dhav
    e
    l
    ongsentsome.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    esosel
    fi
    sh,
    youdon’
    tcar
    eaboutany
    one
    butyoursel
    f.Youmustt hi
    nkyouareall
    that
    becauseamanl ikeAbechosey ou,y
    oumust
    havebewi t
    chedhim becausether
    eisnowayhe
    wouldlovesomeonel i
    key ou.
    ”
    Sadit
    ookadeepbr
    eat
    h.“
    Idon’
    thav
    emoney,
    maybeify
    ougotaj
    obyouwoul
    dhelpmama.
    ”
    “
    Mxm,
    youar
    esousel
    ess.
    ”
    Sadihungupandsi ghed.Awhi l
    el atershe
    steppedoutoft hecarryingSummert hen
    walkedinsi
    det hehospi t
    al.Shebr ieflyspoket o
    therecepti
    onistthenwentupt oAbe’ sr oom
    whereshef oundhi m sit
    tingupr ighthol dinghis
    phone.Hel ookedupandqui cklywal kedov er
    taki
    ngSummerf r
    om her .Sadi smi ledand
    walkedfurt
    herinsidet her oom st aringathi m.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Whatt
    imedi
    dshesl
    eep?
    ”
    “
    Int
    hecab.
    ”
    Heplacedheronthehospit
    albedandl ooked
    backather.“
    Youdidn’
    thavetocome.Ij ust
    tooksomesleepi
    ngpill
    stohelpmesl eep,
    mamaj ustbl
    ewthingsoutofpropot
    ion.”
    Shechuckledsi
    tt
    ing.“
    Itwasn’
    tyourmot
    herwho
    tol
    dme, i
    twasactuall
    yEazi.
    ”
    “
    Shecal
    l
    edy
    ou?
    ”
    “
    No,
    Ical
    l
    edher
    .Iwaswor
    ri
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Whatdi
    dshesay
    ?”
    “Nothi
    ng.JustaskedwhenIst ar
    teddati
    ngy ou
    andifIknewaboutheral lal
    ong,It
    oldherthe
    tr
    uth.Shewasni ce,nowIseewhyy ouloveher.
    WhatIdon’ tunder
    standiswhyyouwoul dpull
    mei nyourdrama.”Tearsfil
    l
    edhereyesasshe
    cal
    ml yspoke.“Youcouldhavebeenhonest
    wit
    hme, Iwouldhavenevergott
    enpregnantifI
    knew.”
    “
    Sadi
    …”
    “Idon’tunderst
    andwhyyoujusthadtouseme
    togetbackaty ourwif
    e.WhatdidIdot o
    deservethat?Why?Youjustwantedtohur tme
    unnecessaril
    y.Andnowy ouhavebrought
    anotherhumani nit
    .It
    oldyouwhatIwant ed
    andy oumademebel i
    eveyoucouldgiveitto
    me.Whatwast heneedforly
    ingtome? ”
    “
    Whatar
    eyout
    alki
    ngabout
    ?”
    “
    Youwant
    ingEazi
    back.
    ”
    “
    Whot
    oldy
    out
    hat
    ?”
    “Icanreadbet weenthelines.Iam nothereto
    fi
    ghtwithy ou,myBloodPr essureissohigh,I
    don’twantt ol
    osethisbaby .Iloveyou,Il
    ove
    yousomuch, Idon’
    tknowwhyy oudon’t
    understandthatandIdidn’tjustwakeupl ov
    ing
    you.Youmademef all
    inlov ewithyou.Youare
    hurti
    ngme.I fIcoul
    dIwoul djustst
    oploving
    you,Idon’tknowwhat ’
    shappeni ngtome.Ilove
    yousomuchi tevenhurts.”
    “
    DidIsayIwantEazi
    back?
    ”
    “
    Youract
    ionssayi
    t.Yourmot
    hert
    oldme.
    ”
    Hecrouchedbef
    oreher.“
    Mymom l
    ovesEaz
    iso
    much,Itol
    dyouthat
    .”
    Tearswethercheeks.“
    Maybeyoushouldjust
    breakupwit
    hmei fyouwantEazi.IknowIdon’t
    comparetoher.Sheisabeaut
    if
    ul sophi
    sti
    cat
    ed
    woman.”
    Abelookedi nhersadey esr eal
    izingjusthow
    herhappinessdependedonhi mt henkissedher
    softsalt
    yl i
    ps.“Iam notl ettingyougo.Youar e
    beautif
    ul,stopcompar ingy ourselfwithEazi.
    EaziisEazi andy ouar ey ouandIl oveyoufor
    whoy ouar e.Iam sor ryIdidn’tcal lbutIwas
    j
    ustbusy .Ihav ebeenwi thy ouforsol ong,i
    fI
    wantedEazi Iwouldhav elongwentback.St op
    thi
    nkingnegat ivel
    y.Eazi signedt hepaper s,
    we
    aregetti
    ngadi vorce.Ilovey ou.”
    Sadi
    lookedi
    nhi
    sey
    esandnodded.
    “
    Don’tl
    etanyonemakey
    ouquest
    ionmyl
    ove
    f
    oryou.Il
    ovey ou.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Her
    ubbedherbump.“
    Howar
    ewe?
    ”
    Sadismil
    edstar
    ingathim nowfeel
    i
    ngst
    upi
    d
    forl
    ett
    ingheri
    nsecur
    it
    iesgettoher.
    “
    Wear
    efi
    ne.
    ”
    Hekissedthebump.“ St
    opstr
    essi
    ngmychi
    l
    d.
    Goodthingthatyouareher
    e,wewill
    do
    somethingfunbefor
    ewegoback.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”

    *
    **

    Isl
    oweddownl ookingaroundasIdrove.I
    spott
    edPennyont hesideoftheroadt
    hen
    pul
    ledoverr
    oll
    i
    ngdownt hewindow.Shesmil
    ed
    wal
    ki
    ngov
    erandgoti
    n.
    “
    Hey
    ,youmadei
    t!
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Yourcari
    sdamaged.
    ”
    “
    Iknow.Ihadami
    niacci
    dent
    .”
    “
    Youdr
    oveal
    lni
    ght
    ?”
    “
    Yeah.Iam sot
    ir
    ed.Wher
    eisy
    ourbr
    other
    ?”
    “
    Home, t
    heyareprepar
    ingf
    orthef
    uneral
    .
    Mamahadal awyerandhespokewit
    husearly
    mor
    ning.Shewantedtobeburi
    edi
    mmedi at
    ely
    .”
    “
    Sowhen?
    ”
    “
    Tomor
    row.Tur
    nlef
    t.
    ”
    If
    oll
    oweddi
    rect
    ionsthenst
    oppedi
    nfrontofa
    bi
    ghousewherealotofcar
    swerepar
    ked.
    “
    Wear
    eher
    e.”
    “Ok,i
    stherealodgecl
    oseby
    ?Ineedt
    osl
    eep.I
    am soti
    red.”
    “
    Yeah,
    butwon’
    tyougeti
    n?’
    “Il
    i
    edtoyourbr
    otherl
    astni
    ght
    .Iwi
    l
    ldeal
    wit
    h
    himlat
    er.
    ”
    Pennychuckl
    edasamanwal kedovert
    omycar.
    “That
    ’smycousin,
    Barr
    y.”Shesteppedoutof
    thecarandcal
    ledhi
    m.Barrylookedatme.
    “
    Bar
    ry,
    that
    ’sEazi
    .Ot
    eng’
    scl
    osef
    ri
    end.
    ”
    “
    Theyar
    elooki
    ngf
    ory
    oui
    nsi
    de.
    ”
    “
    Oh,
    byeEazi
    !”
    “
    Bye!
    ”
    Barr
    ywalkedawaybutst
    oppedt
    henwal
    ked
    backandlookedatme.“
    Hi.
    ”
    “
    Hi.
    ”
    “Thereissomethi
    ngOtengdidn’
    ttel
    lyouandI
    feelyouneedtoknowaboutit.Heisprobabl
    y
    goingtohatenefort
    hisbutyoudeserveto
    know, f
    oryourowngood.forever
    yone’sgood.
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    edconf
    used.“
    Whati
    sit
    ?”
    Bar
    rylookedatmef
    orawhi
    l
    eandgoti
    nthecar
    st
    ari
    ngatme.
    “Thethi
    ngi
    swhatIam goingtotel
    lyoui
    sgoi
    ng
    torui
    nther
    elat
    ionshi
    pIhavewit
    hmycousin
    butit
    ’st
    her
    ightthi
    ngtodo.”
    “
    Okay?Whati
    sit
    ?Doeshehav
    eagi
    rl
    fr
    iendor
    wi
    fe?
    ”
    “No.Yourfatherishisfather’
    sbrot
    her.Your
    fatheri
    sthefirstborn,fol
    lowedbyhisfather
    thenmyf at
    herandot herbrot
    her
    sandsi ster
    s.
    Youar eourcousin.”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe
    #83

    Il
    aughed.“
    No,
    Ithinkyouar
    econfusi
    ngme
    wi
    thsomeoneelseorsomethi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    No,yourf
    ather
    ’snamei
    sIsakaRant
    uang
    r
    ight
    ?”
    Myhear
    tst
    art
    edpoundi
    ng.“
    Yes.
    ”
    “Hechangedhissurnamet oBogatsuyear
    s
    back,
    Bogatsuhappeni ngtobethei
    rfat
    her’
    s
    name.Ourotherfamil
    ymember suseRant uang,
    ourgr
    eatgrandfat
    her’
    sname.Hi snamei s
    I
    sakaRantuangBogat su,hej
    ustadded
    Bogat
    su.”
    Il
    aughedi
    ndi
    sbel
    i
    ef.“
    Stopi
    t.
    ”
    “
    YouandOt engarear
    edoi
    ngwhatwecal
    l
    i
    ncest
    .It
    ’swrong.Hei
    syourbr
    other
    .”
    “
    Idon’
    tbel
    i
    evey
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Ok.Iam notgoi
    ngt
    ofor
    cey
    out
    obel
    i
    evei
    t.I
    j
    ustwanty
    outoent
    ert
    hisr
    elat
    ionshi
    pknowi
    ng
    whaty
    ouaredoi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Whyar
    eyout
    ell
    i
    ngmet
    his?
    ”
    “
    Becausey
    oudeser
    vet
    oknow.
    ”
    “
    Doesheknow?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Buthe…he…”
    “Iam sorry,Ij
    ustthoughty
    ouhadt oknow.No
    needt otellhi
    my ouhearditf
    rom me.Iam j
    ust
    try
    ingtohel pyou.Ifyoust
    il
    lwanttocont
    inue
    withtherelati
    onshipevenaft
    erknowingthi
    s
    thenit’
    sfine.”
    Hesteppedoutandwalkedaway
    .Itookmy
    phoneandcall
    edOtengwhil
    edri
    vi
    ngaway.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Oti
    e,doyoumi
    ndsendi
    ngmet
    hatpi
    ctur
    eof
    myfat
    her
    ?”
    “
    Yeahsur
    e.”
    “
    Youar
    esur
    ethat
    ’shi
    mri
    ght
    ?”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    Inodded.“
    Okay
    .”
    “
    Iam booki
    ngaf
    li
    ghtt
    icketf
    ory
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Okay
    .”
    Ihungupl ooki
    ngar oundf oranysignofal odge.
    Isloweddownandgoggl edforanyl odges
    nearby .AwhilelaterIwaschecki ngi n.Igotmy
    bagf rom thecarandwal kedinsidet heroom
    openingmywhat sappwher eOt enghassent
    thepict ur
    e.Izoomedi tin,themanl ooked
    nothingl i
    keme.Tear sfil
    ledmyey est henI
    quicklyshower edanddr essedupt henwal ked
    backt omycar .Ilookedatt hedamageand
    sighedget ti
    nginsidethendi al
    edGogont le.
    “
    Eazi
    …”
    “
    Hi,
    arey
    ouguy
    sgood?
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    wear
    efi
    ne.
    ”
    “
    Isheawake?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Hei
    shel
    pingmemakebr
    eakf
    ast
    .”
    “
    Ok.Iwi
    l
    lcal
    ll
    atert
    ospeakt
    ohi
    m.By
    e.”
    Ihungupanddr ovebacktot hefuneral.All
    kind
    ofscenari
    ouspl ayedinmyheadbutIwasn’ t
    l
    eav i
    ngthisplacetil
    lIknewt hetr
    uth.Mi nut
    es
    l
    aterIparkedmycarwi thothercarsthen
    steppedouttakingoffmysungl asses.Inmy
    l
    ongf l
    areddress,Iwalkedinsidethey ardand
    smiledapproachingacer t
    ainwoman.
    “
    Dumel
    ang,
    mycondol
    ences.
    ”
    Shesmil
    ed.“
    Thanky
    ou.Idon’
    trecogni
    zey
    our
    face.
    ”
    “
    Iam Ot
    eng’
    sfr
    iend.
    ”
    Shesmil
    edt
    henst
    oodup.“
    Oh,
    what
    ’sy
    our
    name?”
    “
    Eazi
    .
    ”
    “Ok,comet hi
    sway
    .Idi
    dn’tknowhehada
    gir
    lf
    riend.Comemygir
    l.
    ”
    Ifol
    lowedherinsi
    dethebigbeaut
    if
    ulhouse.A
    fewladiesl
    ookedatmecur i
    ousl
    yasIwalked
    pastthem t
    il
    lsheknockedonadoor.
    “Otiemyboy…comeout ,yourfr
    iendi
    sheret o
    seey ou.
    ”Shetur
    nedtomewi t
    hasmi l
    e.“Don’t
    mi ndme,Iam j
    usthappyhehassucha
    beautif
    ulwomanforagirl
    fri
    end.Heisgrowing
    old,heneedst
    ogetmar ri
    edsoseeingyou
    makesmehappy .
    ”
    Iblushedl
    ooki
    ngdown,thedooropenedt
    hen
    Otenglookedatme.Theladysmi
    led.
    “Oteng,
    howcany
    oukeepsuchabeaut
    if
    ul l
    ady
    fr
    om us?Shei
    ssobeaut
    if
    ul.Byt
    heway,Iam
    hisaunt.
    ”
    Otengsmi
    ledathi
    sauntwal
    kingawaythen
    pull
    edmeinsi
    dether
    oom andhuggedme
    ti
    ghtl
    ywhi
    speri
    ngonmyneck.“It
    houghtwe
    agr
    eedy
    ouwoul
    dn’
    tdr
    iveatni
    ght
    .”
    Gosh,hesmel tsogood,hi
    stouchalwaysf
    elt
    good.Isi
    ghedput t
    ingmyarmsar oundhi
    m.“I
    waswor r
    ied.Iam sorr
    yaboutyourmom.I
    knowhowmuchshemeantt oyou.”
    Hekissedmyneckholdi
    ngmeforacoupl
    eof
    minutest
    henf
    inal
    lyr
    eleasedmeandki
    ssedme.
    “Iam happyyouareherebutnextti
    mepl ease
    l
    istentome.Any t
    hingcoul
    dhav ehappenedto
    you,don’tf
    orgety
    ouhav eMalcolmtothink
    about.
    ”
    Tearsfi
    ll
    edmyey
    esIl
    ookedathi
    m.“
    Iam
    sorr
    y.”
    Hekissedmeagai
    n.“
    It
    ’sok,
    youar
    eal
    ready
    her
    e.”
    “
    Oteng?
    ”
    “
    Yeah…”
    “
    Youwoul
    dn’
    tli
    etome,
    right
    ?”
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “
    Ijustwantt
    oknow,
    youwoul
    dn’
    tli
    etome
    r
    ight?”
    “
    Ist
    hatat
    ri
    ckquest
    ion?
    ”
    AtearrandownmycheekasIl ookedathi
    m.
    “Oteng,
    youwouldn’
    tdatemeev enaft
    er
    knowingthatwearer
    elatedr
    ight?
    ”
    Hel
    ookedatmeandchuckl
    edst
    eppi
    ngback.
    “
    Wheredi
    dyougett
    hat?”
    “Doesi
    tmatt
    er?Youwouldn’
    tdat
    emei
    fyou
    knewwerewererel
    atedr
    ight
    ?”
    Helookedatmeandt
    ookmyhandsi
    ntohi
    s.“
    It
    depends.
    ”
    “
    Whatdoy
    oumeani
    tdepends?Di
    dyoul
    i
    eto
    me?
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    becauseIl
    ovey
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Am Iy
    ouruncl
    e’
    sdaught
    er?
    ”
    “
    Iam notsur
    e.May
    be.
    ”
    “Youaresick!Youknewandyouhav
    ebeen…I
    am l
    ikeyoursister
    !Howcoul
    dyoukeepmein
    thedark?
    ”
    “
    Eazi
    -“
    Isnat
    chedmyhandsf
    rom hi
    m.“
    Youl
    i
    edt
    o
    me!”
    “
    Ihadmyr
    easons.
    ”
    “Sickr
    easonsy
    es.Iam yourr
    elat
    ive.Doyougo
    arounddati
    ngyoursi
    ster
    sandcousins?”
    “Look,Iam notperf
    ect,yesIadmit
    ,Il
    iedbut
    becauseIloveyou.wear enotevensurei
    f
    Rantuangisyourfatherornot.
    ”
    “
    Whenwer
    eyougoi
    ngt
    otel
    lme?
    ”
    “
    Nev
    er.
    ”
    “Youaresi
    ckanddi
    sgusti
    ng!Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evey ou
    woulddothi
    stome.”Isatonthebedstar
    ingat
    him.“Howcoul
    dyoukeepsuchf r
    om meand
    expectt
    hingst
    ogowel
    l
    ?”
    Hecrouchedbef oreme.“ Iam notexcusingmy
    acti
    onsandIknowIam wr ongt osayt hi
    sbutI
    l
    ov eyou.Il
    ovedy oubef oreIevenknewt hat.
    Cruci
    fymebutIdi dn’twanttolosey ou
    especial
    lytosomet hingIam unsur eabout.You
    knowIwoul dnev erhurtyoupur posely
    .May beif
    foundoutwaybef oreIlov
    edy ouIwoul dhav e
    l
    ongl etyougo.”
    Ishookmyhead.“Youcan’tl
    oveme.Iam
    rel
    atedt
    oyou.Iam yourcousi
    n.”
    “Tel
    lthatt
    omyhear t
    .Tellmeyoudon’ tfeel
    anyt
    hingformeandt hatyoudon’tlovemeand
    Iwil
    lgoandcallRantuangri
    ghtnowandt el
    l
    him.Heishere.Tel
    lmey oudon’tfeelwhatI
    feel
    andIwi l
    lcal
    lhi
    m andgladlyletyougo.”
    Tear
    srandownmycheeks.“
    Cal
    lhi
    m.”
    “Isai
    dtel
    lmey oudon’
    tlovemeandIwillcal
    l
    himforyou.Iwil
    lcompl
    etel
    yfor
    getaboutus
    andgoonwi
    thmyl
    i
    fe.
    ”
    “Idon’
    t.Idon’
    tloveyou.Youaresicktoeven
    thi
    nkIwoul dsti
    llwantarel
    ati
    onshipwit
    hy ou
    evenafterknowingthetr
    uth.
    ”
    Otenglookedatmeforawhi l
    ethenswal
    lowed
    st
    andingup.“Ok,Iam cal
    l
    inghim.St
    ayhere.
    ”
    HewalkedoutasIlookedaroundhisr
    oom
    wipi
    ngawaymyt ears.Mi
    nuteslat
    erhewalked
    i
    nwithamanbehi ndhimthenclosedthedoor
    behi
    ndhim.
    “Uncl
    e,thi
    sisEazi.Eazi
    ,thi
    sismyuncle.I
    saka
    RantuangBogatsu.Malome, t
    hisi
    sthewoman
    whohascapt ur
    edmyhear t
    ,Imetherayear
    back.”
    Theunclesmil
    ed.“Shei
    sbeaut
    if
    ul.Youar
    e
    readyt
    ostartafamil
    y?”
    “Iwas,Iwasgoi
    ngtomarryherbecausedeep
    downIknowshei st
    heone.SheisallIhav
    e
    everthi
    nkabout
    .Buti
    tseemslikeyouknowher
    mother.Youandhermot herhadanaf fai
    rlong
    backandhermot hergotpregnantwithher.The
    mothersay syouarethef at
    her.Ifoundoutf ew
    daysbackandIwasgoi ngt okeepquietand
    j
    ustcontinuewiththerelati
    onshipbutshe
    wantstoknowmor eaboutherf amilysowe
    havetoendi t
    .”
    Ist
    oodupandf
    acedt
    het
    all
    manwhi
    l
    emyhear
    t
    pounded.
    “
    What
    ’sy
    ourmot
    her
    ’sname?
    ”
    “
    Dor
    casModi
    se.
    ”
    Theuncl
    efr
    owned.“
    CanIseeherpi
    ctur
    e?”
    Itookmyphi
    net
    henopenedmygaller
    yand
    showedhi
    m mymother
    ’spi
    ctur
    e.”
    “Iam noty ourfat
    her.Tel
    lyourmothertotel
    l
    yout hetruth.
    ”Hehandedmyphoneback.“ I
    remembert hi
    swomanandy es,Isl
    eptwit
    hher
    butal ongsideothermen.Shewasapubl i
    c
    toil
    etwher eeveryonecoul
    denter.Isl
    eptwit
    h
    heraf t
    ermyf r
    iendtol dmehesl eptwi thher.
    Herhusbandwor kedi nt hemi nesandwhenev er
    hewasgone, sheopenedherl egsf orev eryone.
    Yourmot herwasawhor e, Iam noty ourf ather.
    Tellhertotakey outoy ourr ealfather, j
    ust
    becauseIam oneoft hemansher emember s
    doesn’tmeanIam y ourf ather.Ihav eaf ami l
    y
    andIwon’ tlety oubr eakwhatIl ongput
    togetherli
    ket his.Yourf atherisoutt her eand
    i
    t’snotme.Sheshoul dst opl yi
    ngt oy ou.Andal l
    myki dslookal ike,youl ooknot hinglikeme.
    Youar esolighti ncompl exion,okar eo
    l
    ekut wane(y ouar elikeacol or
    ed.)Iam dar kas
    youcanseeandsoi sy ourmot her.Ourgenes
    can’tmakeachi l
    dli
    key ou.Ngwanaka, raa
    mmagoagoi sekor r agoal engt eng.( Mychi l
    d,
    tel
    lyourmot hert otakey ouwher eyourf ather
    i
    s.)”Hel ookedatOt eng.“ Shei snoty our
    cousin.Wheny ouar er eadyt omar ry,tellme.”
    “
    Ehr
    ra.
    ”
    Hewalkedoutt
    henOt
    engl
    ookedatme.“
    Do
    youwanttost
    ay?”
    Ishookmyheadast
    ear
    sit
    chedmyey
    es.“
    I
    wanttogo.
    ”
    “Icanor
    gani
    zeforsomeonetodri
    vey
    ou.You
    droveal
    lni
    ght
    ,youneedtorest
    .”
    “
    No,
    Iam f
    ine.Iam goi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Eazi
    ,comeon…”
    “
    Youli
    edtome,Iam notgoingtoi
    gnor
    ered
    f
    lagst
    hist
    imearound.Iam goi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ryIl
    ied,
    butyou’
    vegott
    ounder
    stand
    wher
    eIam comingfr
    om.”
    “
    Iam notgoingtounder
    standthefacteveni
    f
    y
    ouknewt herewasapossibil
    i
    tythatwewere
    r
    elat
    edyouwer enotgoi
    ngt ot
    ellme.Stayaway
    f
    rom me.”
    Iwal
    kedoutput
    ti
    ngonmysungl
    assesand
    wentt
    omycarthendr
    oveof
    f.Tear
    sfil
    l
    edmy
    ey
    es,Ipul
    l
    edovertot
    hesi
    deofther
    oadcr
    ying.
    Myphonerang,
    Iangr
    il
    ypi
    cked.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hey
    ,it
    ’sme.Canwet
    alk?
    ”
    “Abewheni si tgoingt obeenough?When?
    Hav en’tyouhadenough?Iam t ir
    edofy ou
    thinki
    ngy oucanwal kal loverme.St ayaway
    from me!Got oy ourpr eganantgi rlf
    ri
    end
    becauseIwantnot hingt odowi thy ou.You
    thinky ouareal lthat,youar enot .Youdon’ t
    deserv emeandy ounev erdid!St opbothering
    meorIwi llmakesur ey ouar ethrownt ojai
    l f
    or
    attempt edmuder .Iwi lltel
    lthem t hetr
    uth,got o
    fuckenhel landl eav emeal one.Ify oucallme
    again, Iwil
    lgladyt ellthepol i
    cewhata
    disturbedhumanbei ngy ouar e.
    ”
    Ihungupandbl
    ockedhi
    snumber
    .Ical
    l
    edmy
    mother
    .
    “
    Eazi
    …”
    “Youhav el
    iedtome, it
    ’senough.Yousaidthat
    manwasmyf atherbutheisnot.Ij
    ustfound
    outthatyouwer eastreetwhorethateveryman
    wassleepingwi t
    h.Ihateyousomuch!I
    despeiseyourbeingwithallmyheart.You
    abusedmef orsolongandt odayyouarelyi
    ng
    tome.”
    “
    Eazi
    ,ngwanake-
    “
    “Whywouldy
    out
    ell
    mehi
    snamewheny
    ouar
    e
    notsur
    e?”
    “
    Ireal
    lyt
    houghthewastheonebecauseIsl
    ept
    wit
    htheothermanonlyoncedur
    ingt
    heti
    me
    youwereconcei
    ved.
    ”
    “Youareareadsgusti
    ngwomanandyouar
    e
    goingtogrowoldandalone,
    youar
    egoi
    ngt
    o
    suffert
    il
    lyoudi
    e.”
    Idr
    oppedt
    hecal
    landr
    ejoi
    nedt
    her
    oad.
    *
    **

    Laterthatday
    ,Ot engst
    eppedawayfr
    om wher
    e
    hisfatherwasdiscussi
    ngthel
    astdet
    ail
    soft
    he
    funeralwit
    hhisunclesanswer
    ingt
    hephone.
    “
    Yah?
    ”
    “
    Cany
    oust
    ayawayf
    rom mysi
    ster
    ?”
    “
    Who’
    sthi
    s?”
    “
    It
    ’sOnt
    lamet
    si,
    Eaz
    i’
    ssi
    ster
    .”
    “
    Ok,
    howcanIhepy
    ou?
    ”
    “Youcan’
    tsl
    eepwithmeandafterthi
    nky
    oucan
    beinarel
    ati
    onshi
    pwithmysi
    ster.”
    “
    Eng?DoIev
    enknowy
    ou?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Ionceat
    tendedyourpart
    ywhenIwas
    y
    oungandwesl eptt
    ogether
    .”
    Ot
    engl
    aughed.“
    Arey
    ousur
    eitwasme?
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    youwer
    edr
    unkbutIr
    emembery
    ou.You
    br
    okemyvir
    gini
    tysoIwouldnev
    erf
    orgety
    ou.
    Pl
    easel
    eav
    emysi steral
    one.
    ”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #84

    “Soyouwentanddugdirtyonmesot hatEazi
    canloseint
    eresti
    nmeandal l
    thatbecauseI
    oncefuckedyou?Idon’
    tevenremembery our
    face.
    ”
    “
    Pleasest
    ayawayf
    rom mysi
    ster
    .”
    “Idon’
    tev
    enknowwhywear ehav
    ingthi
    s
    conver
    sati
    on,
    whyexact
    lydi
    dyoucall
    me? ”
    “
    BecauseEazi
    deser
    vesbet
    ter
    .”
    “Iam notgoingtostayawayf r
    om her
    ,youandI
    meantnot hi
    ngthat’
    swhyIdon’ tev
    en
    remembery ourface.Idon’
    tthi
    nkshewould
    appreci
    ateyoucalli
    ngme. ”Hehungupand
    call
    edBarry.
    “
    Oti
    e?”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Ilef
    ttogetaf
    ewt
    hingswi
    thPenny
    .”
    “
    Whatt
    imear
    eyoucomi
    ngback?
    ”
    “Iam notsur
    e,butPennyi
    sal
    readyonherway
    back.
    ”
    “
    Howl
    ongdoy
    out
    hinky
    ouar
    egoi
    ngt
    orun?
    ”
    “
    Whatar
    eyout
    alki
    ngabout
    ?”
    “
    Osekawabat
    agont
    ir
    asemat
    a,ot
    il
    egony
    ela
    omar
    ete.
    ”
    “Look,
    Iwaslooki
    ngoutfory ou.Doy
    ouknow
    whathappenswheny ouhavekidswit
    h
    someonewhoshar essi
    milarDNAwithyou?
    ”
    “Iam goi
    ngtostepony ourlongneck,youthi
    nk
    Iam j
    okingwithyou.Evenifyoudon’tcome
    back,Iam goi
    ngtofindyou.Iam goingtocut
    ofyourball
    s,ontwaelamasepa.”
    Barryhungupt henOtengclickedhistongue
    angril
    y.HelookedatEazi’
    snumberf orawhi l
    e
    thencalledherbuti
    tdidn’
    tgot hrough.He
    walkedbacki nsi
    dethehouseandbor roweda
    phonet hencall
    edheragain.Thistimet he
    phoner angforawhileti
    ll
    shesof tl
    yanswer ed.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Soy
    oubl
    ockedme?
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    forar
    eason,
    whyar
    eyoucal
    l
    ingme?
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ryf
    orl
    yi
    ng,
    Ishoul
    dhav
    etol
    dyout
    he
    t
    rut
    h.”
    “
    Yesy oushoul
    dhav ebutyoudi
    dn’
    thaveany
    i
    ntent
    ionsto.I
    fitwasn’
    tfor…i
    fIdi
    dn’
    tfi
    ndout
    y
    ouwer enevergoingtotel
    lme.
    ”
    “Imadeamistakeandy ouareri
    ght
    ,Iwas
    sel
    fi
    sh.Iam sor
    ry.Iknewtel
    li
    ngyouwould
    meanmyhear tgetsbroken.
    ”
    “Iam hangingup, t
    hanky ouf orally
    ouhav e
    donef ormet i
    l
    ldatebutI ’m endingthi
    s
    fri
    endship.Youli
    edt omeaboutsomet hi
    ngso
    bigandt hat’
    sar edflag,Iam notset t
    ing
    my selfupfort
    hatagai n.Whoknowswhatot her
    thingsyoucanlietomeabout ?NowIam
    starti
    ngtobeli
    evet hethingst heysayabout
    you.”
    “
    Arey
    ouser
    iousr
    ightnow?
    ”
    “Yes.Idon’
    tunderst
    andy ou.Wher
    edidyouget
    allt
    hemoneyy ouhav e?Andwhyonear t
    h
    wouldy oubeaccusedofr appi
    ngatoddl
    er?
    ”
    “
    Youar
    egoi
    ngt
    her
    e?”
    “Yes.Youpr
    obablydidandbr i
    bedyourwayout
    ofthemessjustli
    keyoupr obabl
    ydowi t
    hyour
    othercri
    meacts.Iam notgoingtoassoci
    ate
    withsomeonewhoi sapossibl
    epedophil
    eand
    l
    eadsai l
    l
    egalli
    fe.Ideser
    vebet
    terthant
    hat.I
    am ti
    redofsett
    li
    ngf orl
    ess,
    Iam goingt
    osett
    le
    forwhatIdeser
    v e.
    ”
    “
    Wow!
    ”
    “Youmanagedt ogetapi ctur
    eofamany ou
    don’
    tev enknowandi fIwantedt omeethi m
    youwoul dhavemadehi m posel i
    kemyf ather,
    whatwi l
    lst
    opy ouf r
    om traffi
    ckingpeopl
    ei fyou
    candot hat
    ?Orf rom rappingkids?Thereis
    somet hi
    ngtwistedabouty ou,stayawayf rom
    meandmyson.Iam sogl adIgott of
    indout
    therealyouwheni twassosoon. ”
    “
    Youknowmebet
    tert
    hant
    hatEazi
    .”
    “
    Idon’
    t,
    clear
    lyIdon’
    tknowy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    ehur
    ti
    ngme.
    ”
    “
    Byt
    ell
    i
    ngy
    out
    het
    rut
    h?Thet
    rut
    hdoeshur
    t.
    ”
    Ot
    engt
    ookadeepbr
    eat
    h.“
    Ok,
    ist
    her
    e
    somet
    hingel
    sey
    ouwantt
    osay
    ?”
    “
    No.Justst
    ayawayf
    rom me.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    lst
    ayaway
    .”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Hehungupanddelet
    edhernumberfr
    om hi
    s
    cousi
    n’
    sphonethenhandedi
    tbackwal
    ki
    ngout
    .
    Hegotinhi
    scaranddroveof
    f.

    *
    **

    Ont
    lamet
    sil
    ookedatmeandsmi
    l
    ed.
    “
    Thatwasagoodmov
    e.Nowt
    imet
    oputMal
    c
    f
    ir
    st.
    ”
    Inoddedsadl
    y.“
    Yeah.
    ”
    “
    Don’
    ttel
    lmey ouar
    efeel
    i
    ngsadbecauseof
    t
    hatl
    owlif
    e.”
    “
    No,
    Iam j
    ustsadt
    hatIact
    ual
    l
    yhav
    eamot
    her
    l
    ikemine.Youshoul
    dhav
    ehear
    dhowOt
    eng’
    s
    uncl
    edescri
    bedher.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ryEazi
    …”
    “I
    t’
    sfi
    ne.Iwantt
    ofl
    ybackt
    oGabs,
    Ican’
    tdr
    ive
    agai
    n.”
    “
    Whatabouty
    ourcar
    ?”
    “
    Ihavespokent
    omymechani
    candhesai
    dhe
    wi
    llcomeandpi
    cki
    tup.
    ”
    “
    Forext
    ramoney
    .”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Ok,Iam sogl
    adyouendedt hi
    ngswit
    hOt eng.I
    knewhewasbadbutnotbadenought oli
    e
    aboutsuchthi
    ngs.Hewantedtoconti
    nuewi th
    i
    ncest.Whatalowlif
    e.Ihopehegetsarr
    ested
    soonandgetthrowninjai
    l.
    ”
    “
    Ihav
    etogo.Wewi
    l
    ltal
    k.”
    Wehuggedt
    henIwal
    kedoutt
    othecabt
    hat
    waspar
    kedatt
    hegat
    eandjumpedi
    n.
    Ont
    lamet
    siwav
    edast
    hecabdr
    oveof
    f.

    *
    **

    Lonasl ookedatLi na’spi ctureswit


    hasmi l
    e
    thenl ookedatherpi ctur ewithherin-
    laws.She
    reactedwi t
    hhear tsonal lthepict
    uresthen
    placedherphonedownget ti
    ngherbookswhi l
    e
    hersonsl ept.Shest udiedundi stur
    bedf ortwo
    hour sthenfinal
    lyputherbooksawayand
    startedcooking.Thami droveinthenmi nutes
    l
    at erhewal kedinsidet hehouseandsmi l
    ed
    kissinghercheek.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Hi.
    ”
    Hereachedfort
    hei
    rchi
    ldwhowasnowawake
    andheldhi
    mi nhi
    sarms.
    “
    Babe,
    don’
    tyout
    hinkheneedssomeonet
    o
    pl
    aywi
    th?
    ”
    “Iwantt
    ogetmydegr eeandgetmar
    ri
    edt
    hen
    haveanotherchi
    l
    d.”
    “
    Thatwi
    l
    lpr
    obabl
    ytakef
    ivey
    ear
    stohappen.
    ”
    “Yesbuti
    t’
    sgoi
    ngtohappenli
    kethat
    .Iam
    goingt
    ogetmydegreefi
    rst
    .Buty
    oucanmarr
    y
    mei nt
    hemeanti
    me.”
    “
    Arey
    ougoi
    ngt
    oconsi
    derwhatIwant
    ?”
    Shelookedathi
    m.“Yes,
    Ihavebeen
    consi
    deri
    nghatyouwantfort
    hepasty
    ear
    .I
    wanttogetmarri
    ed.
    ”
    “
    BecauseLi
    nagotmar
    ri
    ed?
    ”
    “
    No,
    becauseIam t
    ir
    edofcohabi
    ti
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Youwantt
    obel
    i
    keLi
    nasobadl
    y.
    ”
    Lonasl
    ookedathim.“AndwhywouldIwantto
    beli
    keLi
    na?Youdon’tthi
    nkIam goodenough
    togetmar
    ried?Ortogetadegr
    ee?”
    “No,y
    ouwantt ogetmarr
    iedbecauseLinagot
    marri
    ed.Allal
    ongyouneversai
    danythi
    ngabout
    marri
    agebutsuddenl
    yyouwantt ogetmarri
    ed
    aft
    erbecausesheisget
    ti
    ngmar ri
    ed.
    ”
    Lonastookadeepbreat
    hst
    ari
    ngathi
    m.“
    Iam
    ti
    redofyoucompar
    ingmetoLina.
    ”
    “
    Whoiscompar
    ingy
    out
    oLi
    na,
    Iam st
    ati
    ng
    f
    act
    s.”
    “Seemsy ounevergotri
    dofy ourl
    i
    ttl
    ecrushon
    mysi st
    erbutIam notgoingtosett
    letobei
    ng
    yoursecondbest.Iam mov i
    ngout,Ihav
    e
    alr
    eadylookedforahouseandbyt omorrowI
    will
    begone.”
    “Youarebr eaki
    ngupwithmebecauseImadea
    clearhonestobser
    vat
    ion?”
    “No,becausethi
    srelati
    onshi
    pisfrui
    tl
    ess.You
    alwayscri
    ti
    cizeme,it’
    sli
    keapriceIam payi
    ng
    forst
    ayinginyourhouse.Idon’
    tneedy outo
    survi
    ve,Iwil
    lmanageonmyownbuty ouhave
    t
    okeepsupport
    ingy
    ourchi
    ld.I
    fyoudon’
    tthenI
    wi
    ll
    gladl
    ytakeyout
    ocourt
    .”
    Lonasf
    inishedupcooki
    nganddi
    shedwhi
    l
    e
    Thamistaredather
    .

    *
    **

    AbewatchedSadiassheatewi
    thSummeron
    hi
    slap,shel
    ookedupcatchi
    nghi
    m st
    ari
    ngand
    l
    aughed.
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Not
    hing.Can’
    tIst
    areatmywoman?
    ”
    Sheblushedandconti
    nuedeating.Hisphone
    vibr
    atedfr
    om hi
    spocketthenhet ookitoutand
    readthemessagefrom Tinoi
    nvit
    inghimf orhi
    s
    wedding.Abedel
    etedthemessageangr il
    y,the
    gutshehadinvi
    ti
    nghimf orhi
    sweddi ngwhen
    hehadsleptwit
    hhiswife.
    “
    Iam booki
    ngf
    li
    ght
    sforust
    ogoback.
    ”
    Sadinoddedwi thfoodinhermout h.Abe
    scrol
    ledthroughhisphonef orawhiletil
    lhehad
    openedaf il
    ewhi chhadEazi’spi
    ctures.Hetook
    adeepbr eaththenclosedthefil
    eandgott hem
    fl
    ightti
    ckets.
    “
    From her
    ewear
    egoi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Summerl ookedathim andsmiled,hercurly
    hai
    rheldintinyponyt
    ail
    s.Herdimpler eminded
    hi
    m ofAy aandhewonder edifsheev erworried
    aboutherdaughterormaybeshej ustdidn’t
    careandhadj ustmovedonwi t
    hherl i
    fe.
    Hi
    sphoner
    angt
    henhepi
    ckedLi
    na’
    scal
    l
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hey
    ,Ihopet
    hisi
    snotbadt
    imi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    No,
    ever
    ythi
    ngwentwel
    l
    ?”
    Shegi
    ggl
    ed.“
    Yes,
    Ihav
    ebeent
    hinki
    ngabout
    whatTendai
    sai
    d,doy
    ouwantt
    obackout
    ?”
    Heswallowedhar
    dst
    ari
    ngatSadi
    happi
    l
    y
    eat
    ing.
    “
    Ify
    ouwant
    ,it
    ’sst
    il
    lfi
    ne.
    ”
    “
    No,
    ifIpul
    loutshewi
    l
    ljustdoi
    ther
    sel
    f.
    ”
    “Ok,Iam sor
    ryt
    hisishappeni
    ngtoyou.Iknow
    youloveherandthatyouarenotr
    eadytolet
    go.”
    “
    It
    ’sok.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    wel
    lwewi
    l
    ltal
    k.”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    Heputhi
    sphonedownandt
    ookasi
    pofhi
    s
    j
    uice.
    “
    Ever
    ythi
    ngok?
    ”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    “
    Iam done,
    wecango.
    ”
    Abeset
    tl
    edt
    hebi
    l
    lthenhel
    pedherupand
    wal
    kedoutwi
    thdaught
    eri
    nhi
    shands.

    *
    **

    Thabi l
    ewalkedi nsidethehospitalgruntingi
    n
    pain.Thenur seimmedi at
    elyrushedt oher
    assistanceandputheront hewheel chairwher
    e
    shegotwheel edt othedeliver
    yroom.Theyher
    ont hebedaf tertakingoffherclotheswhi l
    ethe
    midwi fewalkedi nputti
    ngonhi sglov es.Hesli
    d
    hi
    sf ingersi
    nsi deandsmi led.
    “
    Seemst
    hebabyi
    sher
    e,ar
    eyour
    eady
    ?”
    “
    Richar
    dwant
    edt
    obeher
    e…”
    “
    Richar
    dwil
    lfi
    ndusher
    e.Thebabyi
    shereand
    t
    hisbabyi
    snotgoi
    ngtowaitf
    orRi
    char
    d.”

    *
    **
    Meanwhil
    eoutsi
    de,Ri
    chardr
    aninsi
    dethe
    hospi
    tal
    andlookedatThabi
    l
    e’smother
    .
    “
    Wher
    eisshe?
    ”
    “
    Theyt
    ookhert
    othedel
    i
    ver
    yroom.
    ”
    Her
    ushedt
    othedi
    rect
    ionshehadpoi
    nted.

    I
    nsidethedel
    iver
    yroom,Thabi
    legroaned
    pushi
    ng,thedooropenedandRichar
    dwalkedi
    n.
    Helookedatherfaceasshepushedthenhel
    d
    herhand.
    “
    Iam her
    e.”
    Sheangri
    l
    ylookedathi
    m.“
    Wher
    ewer
    eyou
    ahhhh!
    ”
    “
    Iwassti
    ll
    tryi
    ngtofi
    ndparki
    ng.Remember
    whatt
    heytaughtusbabe?
    ”
    “
    Fucky
    ou!
    ”
    “
    Thi
    swi
    l
    lbet
    hel
    astone.
    ”
    “Myv agi
    na….Ai
    i
    ii
    .”Shesqueezedhi
    shand
    pushingwit
    hall
    shehad.Thebaby’sheadsl
    i
    d
    outfoll
    owedbytherestoft
    hebody.
    “
    Andi
    t’
    saboy
    !”
    Thabi
    let
    hrewherheadbackbr
    eat
    hingheav
    il
    y
    wit
    htear
    sinhereyes.

    *
    **

    Tsot
    lhe’
    smot
    herl
    ookedatherandsi
    ghed.
    “
    Iknewyouwouldgetpr
    egnant
    ,itwasonl
    ya
    matt
    eroft
    ime.
    ”
    Tsotl
    helookeddownf
    iddl
    i
    ngwi
    thherf
    inger
    s
    si
    lent
    ly.
    “
    Ican’
    tsayIam notdi
    sappoi
    ntedbecauseI
    r
    eal
    lywantedy
    out ogetmarr
    iedbefor
    ehavi
    ng
    achi
    ldandt eachyoursi
    bli
    ngsthatsuchthi
    ngs
    canactual
    l
    yhappenbuti t
    ’sfi
    ne.Heissti
    l
    l
    marr
    yingyouatt heendoftheday.”
    “Iwantt
    ohav
    ethewhi
    teweddi
    ngbef
    oreIgi
    ve
    bir
    th.
    ”
    “
    Youwantt
    ogetmar
    ri
    edpr
    egnant
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Yourweddi ngist hemostimpor t
    antdayof
    yourli
    fe, youdon’ twanttor ememberi toneday
    andlookatt hepi ctur
    esrealizingj usthowf at
    andbigy ouwer e.Youwon’ tev enenj oyi ttothe
    ful
    lest.Don’ tyouwantt oweart hosebody
    huggingdr essesl ikeotherwoman?Al otof
    peoplethoughty ouwer eheadedf orf ail
    ure,
    theyshoul dseey ouglowingandbeaut if
    ul on
    yourweddi ngday .Youar ealreadypr egnant ,
    youcan’ thidei t
    .Justwai tt
    illyougi vebi rththen
    youwor kony ourbodyandgetmar ri
    ed. ”
    Tsot
    lhesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Ehmma.
    ”
    “Goodmygi r
    l,Idon’
    twanttobel ooki
    ngolder
    thanyouormor ebeauti
    fulthanyouony our
    weddingall
    becausey ouwer echubbyand
    pregnant
    .Thereisnoneedt orush.Gi
    vebirt
    ht o
    thi
    slit
    tl
    eonethenwewi llhavethewedding.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”

    *
    **

    Lat
    erthatday
    ,Iwal
    kedinsi
    demyhouset
    hen
    l
    ookedatMalcol
    m watchi
    ngTVwit
    hGogont
    le.
    “
    Higuy
    s!”
    “
    Mama!
    ”Her
    anov
    erandhuggedmet
    ight
    ly.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    Gogont
    lest
    oodup.“
    Eazi
    …”
    “
    Hey
    ,thanky
    ouf
    orkeepi
    nganey
    eonhi
    m.”
    “
    It
    ’sok.
    ”
    It
    ookmypur
    set
    henpai
    dher
    .“Thanks.
    ”
    Shesmi
    l
    edt
    henwentt
    ogetherbagandl
    eft
    .
    “
    Mommyi
    sgoi
    ngt
    osl
    eepf
    orawhi
    l
    eok?Iam
    t
    ir
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Isy
    ourf
    ri
    endst
    il
    lsad?
    ”
    “
    Yesbuthewi
    l
    lbef
    ine.Wat
    chTv
    .”
    “
    Ial
    sowantt
    osl
    eep.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    come.
    ”
    Inmybedroom,Itookoffmyshoesandlaidon
    thebedwhileMal
    claidbesi
    deme.Iclosedmy
    eyes.Myphonerang,Ir
    eachedf
    oritand
    answered.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Eazi
    ,hey
    …it
    ’sBi
    na.
    ”
    “
    Oh,
    hey
    .”
    “
    Whenar
    eyoucomi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Forwhat
    ?”
    “
    Forthedayi
    nourspat
    haty
    ourmanbooked
    f
    oryou?”
    “
    It
    ’sy
    ourspa?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Wow!I
    mpr
    essi
    ve.
    ”
    “
    Iknow.
    ”
    Il
    aughed.“
    UhhIwi
    l
    lsee.
    ”
    “Pl
    easecome,hepaidalotofmoneyt
    hatIam
    notreadyt
    opartwi
    th.”
    “
    Howmuchwasi
    t?”
    “Over10k,
    Eazithat
    ’sal
    otofmoneyt
    hatIhav
    e
    alr
    eadyused.Justcome.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    uhhmay
    bewecandoi
    ttomor
    row?
    ”
    “Per
    fect
    .Thatmanmustreall
    yloveyou,
    doesn’
    t
    hehaveabrotherorsomecousins.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lhooky
    ouup.By
    e!”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Ihungstar
    ingatthegif
    tbagont hefl
    oorthen
    sl
    owlywentov erandopened.Ismil
    edtearf
    ull
    y
    andtookoutthenotefrom Oteng.

    ‘
    Wit
    hLov
    e…Ot
    ie’

    Il
    ookedatmygi
    ftagai
    nandsmi
    l
    ed.

    6MONTHSLATER…
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfWi
    fe

    #85
    InMochudi ,
    agr oupofbr i
    desmai dsand
    bridegr
    oomsdancedt hei rwayi nsidethehuge
    whi t
    etentfi
    ll
    edwi t
    hbeaut i
    fuldecorat
    ion.The
    crowdt ookpict
    ur esast heyal ldancedfoll
    owed
    byt hebri
    deandgr oom att heback.Wi thher
    mer maidgown, thebridewav edherhipssi deto
    sidedancingtotheNi ger i
    anhi tsong.Inthe
    crowd,thegroom’ sexr olledherey esstanding
    besideherbestf ri
    end.
    “
    Mxm,theyarereal
    lyf
    ight
    ingfort
    hisweddi
    ng
    t
    obeexcit
    ingbutit
    ’sj
    ustcol
    d.”
    Thefri
    endlaughed.“Youarely
    ing,youarej
    ust
    bi
    tter
    ,thi
    sisbyfarthebestweddingIhaveever
    at
    tended.Didyouseet heZi
    m celebr
    ati
    on?
    Thesepeoplearetopclass.
    ”
    “Idon’
    tev
    enunderst
    andwhyt heyhadtohav
    e
    theweddi
    nginZimfir
    st,
    theyshouldst
    art
    edit
    hereandl
    aterwentt
    oZim.”
    “
    Any
    onecandowhatt
    heyar
    ecomf
    ort
    abl
    ewi
    th
    plusthi
    sisjustacel ebrat i
    on,t
    herealwedding
    i
    sdoneanddust edwi th, shewaslonghanded
    overtotheTafir
    acl anaweekback, thi
    sisjust
    tocelebr
    atewithgat ecr ushersli
    keyouwho
    couldn’
    taffor
    dat t
    endi ngt hatVi
    cFall
    s
    wedding.”
    “Hedoesn’
    tlov
    eher
    ,shei
    swayt
    ooy
    oungf
    or
    him.
    ”
    “So?Agei sj
    ustanumber .Stopbei
    ngneget
    ive.
    Tinomov edonandt hattoabeauti
    ful
    younggir
    l.
    Theyhaveachi l
    dtogetherandshewas
    probabl
    yav i
    rgi
    nwhenhemether .”
    “
    Whatar
    eyout
    ryi
    ngt
    osay
    ?”
    “
    Not
    hing.
    ”
    “
    Mxm,
    let
    ’sgo.
    ”
    Thefriendlookedatheri nshock.“
    Didyousee
    theyhiredNay acater
    ingcompany ?Youhave
    heardaboutt hei
    rfoodhav en’
    tyou?Iam not
    l
    eav i
    ngwi t
    houteating.”
    “
    Youar
    ejustagat
    ecr
    usher
    .”
    “
    So?Iam notgoi
    ng,
    ify
    ouwantt
    ogo,
    go.
    ”
    Theexstoodupandwalkedawayl
    eav
    ingher
    fr
    iendenj
    oyi
    ngthewedding.
    Gi
    nasmil
    edathersontaki
    ngav
    ideosi
    tt
    ednext
    t
    oTaku.“
    Thi
    sisbeauti
    ful
    .”
    Takunoddedsmili
    ngst
    ari
    ngatTi
    nowi
    thhi
    s
    brot
    her
    s.“Iam gl
    adAbecame”
    “
    Metoo.Ist
    il
    ldon’
    tunder
    standswhatt
    he
    t
    ensi
    onisal
    labout
    .”
    “
    It
    ’sboyi
    ssues.
    ”
    Ginal
    ookedar oundsmili
    ngandspotted
    Tsotl
    he’smot herwhowasdr essedinher
    beaut
    ifuldresswi t
    haheadwr apti
    edperfect
    ly
    toherheadt henwav ed.Tsot
    lhe’
    smot her
    wavedr et
    urningthesmi l
    e.
    Ginat
    urnedbacktot
    hefr
    ontandsmil
    edather
    newdaughteri
    n-l
    awwhoseemedal
    lexci
    ted
    andshyatt
    hesamet
    ime.
    Sittingbehindhermot her,Tashaabent
    mi ndedlystaredstrai
    ghtaheadt hi
    nki
    ngofher
    j
    ob.Sheswal lowedhar dwonder i
    nghowl ong
    shecoul dholdont ot hejobwhichbrought
    not hingbutpai nt
    oher .Shebli
    nkedawayher
    tear sandsmi ledasthecamer amanst oodin
    frontoft hem snappingpictur
    es.
    At earroll
    eddownhercheekt henshequi ckl
    y
    wipedi toffl
    aughing.Shest
    oodupandwal ked
    outoft hetent.Foramomentshest oodst i
    ll
    l
    ettingherselfcalm downst
    andingbet ween
    cars.Mor etearsfi
    ll
    edhereyesasshet hought
    ofal l
    thenamecal l
    i
    ng,shel
    ookedatt het ent
    thensentTi noamessageandwal kedtohercar .
    Shegoti nanddr oveoff.
    Meanwhilei
    nsi
    det
    hetent,t
    hecel
    ebr
    ati
    on
    conti
    nuedwhil
    eot
    herpeopl
    etookvi
    deosand
    pi
    ctures.
    *
    **

    Mapul awalkedoutwit
    hherbl ackbinwalking
    tothedustbi
    nathergateandt hreweverything
    i
    nsidethenwalkedbackinsidethehouse.Her
    nei
    ghborshookherheadsi ppi
    ngt eawit
    hher
    husband.
    “
    Thi
    sgi
    rli
    ssot
    hin.Shewasn’
    tli
    ket
    his.
    ”
    Herhusbandf
    rowned.“
    Shewasal
    way
    sli
    ke
    t
    his.
    ”
    “Iam tel
    l
    ingyou,
    shewasn’tl
    iket
    his.She
    start
    edlosi
    ngweightwhenthatf
    ancycar
    stoppedcomingtohere.
    ”
    “MmagweOwen, t
    hisgi
    rli
    spr
    obabl
    yont
    hose
    dietpeopl
    edo.
    ”
    “No.Shehaslostsomuchweight
    ,it
    ’snotev
    en
    hardtosee.Sheisagoodgi
    rlt
    hough.Owen
    shoul
    dmeether
    .”
    “
    Youhav
    est
    art
    ed.
    ”
    “Start
    edwi thwhat ?Hecan’tfi
    ndhimselfagood
    woman, Ican’
    tev enatt
    endev entsbecauseof
    him.Thatgi rl
    isgoodf orhim.Sheisdownt o
    earth,shewor ksandisstable.Shedoesn’t
    bri
    ngdi ffer
    entmanandshesl eepsinherhouse
    everynight.ThatishiswifeandIam goi ngto
    makesur eofit.Imadesomescones, Iam
    goingt ogivehersomeandi nvi
    teherfordinner
    .
    Oweni sgoingtolikeher.
    ”
    Herhusbandlookedatherasshegoti
    nsi
    det
    he
    housetograbthesconeswit
    hasigh.

    *
    **

    Li
    nalookedathergy
    naehol
    dingherbot
    tl
    eof
    water
    .
    “
    Am Icl
    ear
    ?”
    Thegy naeshookherhead.“
    No.Yourscan
    resul
    tsareback.
    ”
    “
    And?
    ”
    “
    Bot
    hyourov
    ari
    eshav
    efi
    l
    ledupwi
    thcy
    sts.
    ”
    Tear
    sfi
    l
    ledherey
    es.“
    Ihav
    en’
    tseenmyper
    iod
    i
    n4mont hs.
    ”
    “That’
    sjustt
    hesymptoms,alsobemindf
    ulof
    weightgain,
    youneedtochangeyourdi
    et.I
    haveat r
    eatmentpl
    anforyou.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “Li
    sten,t
    herearewomenwhohav ebeenonthat
    chair
    ,womenwi thmoreworsecases,women
    whohav enochanceofhavingkidseveri
    nthei
    r
    l
    ives,begrat
    efult
    hatatl
    eastforyouwecant r
    y
    acoupleoftri
    cks.”
    Li
    nanoddedt
    ryi
    ngt
    ohol
    dbackhert
    ear
    s.“
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Good.It
    houghty
    ouwoul
    dcomewi
    thy
    our
    husband.
    ”
    “
    Hei
    sinMaunr
    ightnow.
    ”
    “
    Ok,youwi
    ll
    justfi
    l
    lhi
    min.Letmef
    il
    lyoui
    nthe
    t
    reat
    mentpl
    an.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Ther
    ewasasl i
    ghtknockont
    hedoort
    hen
    anot
    herdoct
    orpeakedin.
    “
    Oh,
    sor
    ry!Idi
    dn’
    tnowy
    ouwer
    ewi
    thapat
    ient
    .”
    Li
    na’
    sgynaael
    ookedattheot
    herdoct
    or.“
    Yeah,
    Iwi
    ll
    comeandseey ou.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    ThedoctorwalkedoutthenLi nat
    urnedbackto
    hergynaeli
    steni
    ngclosel
    y .Awhil
    elatershe
    walkedoutandwentst r
    aighttohercar.She
    cal
    ledTansitti
    nginhercar .
    “
    Heybabe…”
    “
    Hey
    ,Iwentt
    oseet
    hedoct
    or.
    ”
    “
    And?
    ”
    “
    AndIhavecyst
    sinmyov
    ari
    es.Butshehasa
    t
    reat
    mentpl
    an.”
    “
    Ok,
    arey
    ouok?
    ”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    “Idon’
    twantyoutoletthi
    sstr
    essy
    ouortake
    awayourhappiness.Onedaywewil
    lhav
    ekids
    whenGodal l
    ows.”
    “
    Iam scar
    edImi
    ghtnev
    erhav
    eki
    ds.
    ”
    “Thenwewil
    ladoptone.Iam goodwi
    th
    anythi
    ng.
    ”
    Sherubbedatear
    .“Ial
    sowantt
    oknowhowi
    t
    feel
    stohaveababykicki
    ngi
    nsi
    deme.”
    “
    Youwi
    l
    lifGodal
    l
    ows.Ar
    eyoust
    il
    lgoi
    ngout
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Iam comi
    ngbackt
    oday
    ,wewi
    l
    ltal
    k.Il
    ove
    y
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    Hehungupt henshet
    ookadeepbr
    eat
    hand
    di
    aledLebot
    ha.
    “
    Aunt
    y…”
    “
    Iam onmyway
    ,Igotdel
    ayed.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iam r
    eady
    .”
    Sheputonhersunglassesthendroveto
    Lebotha’
    shouseandwal kedi
    nsidehol
    ding
    somepl ast
    icsoff
    ood.Hergrandmotherwalked
    over.
    “
    Mydaught
    er.
    ”
    “
    Ma,
    Ibr
    oughtacoupl
    eoft
    hings.
    ”
    “
    Youdi
    dn’
    thav
    eto.
    ”
    “
    No,
    pleaseaccepti
    t.
    ”
    Lebotha’
    ssibl
    ingshuggedhert
    hentookthe
    pl
    asticbagstothekit
    chenwhil
    eLebotha
    walkedoverinhersummerdress.
    “
    Ready
    ?”
    Shesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Yes.
    ”
    Li
    nalookedathergr
    andmot
    her
    .“Iwi
    l
    lbr
    ingher
    backl
    ater.
    ”
    “
    Okchi
    l
    d.”
    Theybothwalkedoutandgoti nhercar.Li
    na
    handedthematchingsunglassesl
    ikethemes
    shehadon,Lebothaputthem onwi t
    hasmi le
    asthecardr
    ov eoff.

    *
    **

    Atthemall
    ,Isteppedoutofnewcari nmyf l
    ip
    fl
    opsthenwalkedinsidethemallhol
    dingmy
    handbagandcarkey s.Ient
    eredasalonthena
    l
    adywalkedov er
    .
    “
    Hi…”
    Il
    ookedatherf
    acesmi
    l
    ing.“
    Iremembery
    ou.
    ”
    Shelaughed.“Metoo,
    yout
    ookawaymy
    pot
    entialhusband.
    ”
    “
    Sly
    viar
    ight
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Hewasnoty
    our
    s.”
    “ThemomentIsawIj
    ustknewahhwai
    i
    .Guyi
    s
    aboutt
    odi
    tchme.”
    “
    Sorry
    .Any
    way
    s,Iwantt
    hisweav
    e.Doy
    ouhav
    e
    i
    t?”
    Ishowedherthepi
    ctur
    efr
    om myphone.“
    Yes,
    I
    haveal
    ll
    engt
    hs.”
    “
    ThankGod,
    afr
    iendr
    ecommendedt
    hissal
    on.
    ”
    “
    What
    ’shername?
    ”
    “
    Bina.
    ”
    “
    Thel
    oudl
    ady
    ?”
    Il
    aughednoddi
    ng.“
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Iam notsur
    pri
    sed,
    comeandsee.
    ”
    Iwalkedaf
    terherthenvi
    ewedthewi
    gsand
    chosethe32inchesone.“Howmuchist
    his
    one?”
    “
    P2800.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iwanti
    t.
    ”
    Momentsl
    aterIwal
    kedoutoft
    hesal
    onhol
    ding
    t
    heshoppi
    ngbagandwenttotother
    est
    aur
    ant
    wher
    eBinawaswaiti
    ngforme.
    “
    Hey
    ,Igott
    hewi
    g.”
    ShehuggedmeasIsatdown.“
    Letmesee.
    ”
    Igav
    eitt
    ohert
    henshel
    ookedati
    t.“
    Thi
    sisi
    t.
    ”
    “
    Iam r
    ocki
    ngi
    tonMonday
    ."
    “
    Thedi
    vor
    cei
    sget
    ti
    ngf
    inal
    i
    zed!
    ”
    “
    Atl
    ast,
    thi
    shasbeent
    hel
    ongest6mont
    hsof
    myl
    if
    e.”
    “
    Arey
    ousur
    eyouar
    edonedone?Idon’
    t;
    l
    ikei
    t
    whenIsupportsomeonewhent heyl
    eavethei
    r
    par
    tnerandnextthingyouknowyouarebackat
    i
    tagainandInowl ookstupi
    d.”
    “
    Bat
    hongBi
    na,
    Iam done!
    ”
    “
    Good.Let
    ’sor
    der
    ,Iam sohungr
    y.”
    Iraisedmyheadasacoupl ewalkedinlaughi
    ng
    holdinghands.Otengki
    ssedthegir
    lasshe
    l
    aughedatsomet hi
    nghehadsaid,hisarm
    aroundherwai st
    .Theywalkedpastus,Bi
    na
    l
    ookedatOt engandsmi l
    ed.
    “Iwoul
    dlethim usemetil
    lhehasenough.
    MothokeDr ake!Matt
    eroffact
    ,hei
    smuch
    bett
    ert
    hanDr ake.”
    Il
    ookedatt
    hem agai
    nasj
    eal
    ousychokedme.
    “
    Arey
    ouok?
    ”
    “
    That
    ’shi
    m.”
    “
    Who?
    ”
    “
    Oteng.
    ”
    “That
    ’sthemany oul
    etgobecauseofsome
    smallnonsense?
    ”
    Il
    ookedatthem agai
    nwat chinghim ki
    sst
    he
    gi
    rlwear
    ingtheshortbacklessdress.
    “Eazi,
    isthatthemanyouletgo?Iknowy ouar
    e
    beautif
    ulfri
    endbuty
    ouletgothatpieceof
    steak?”
    “Iwasangrybackthen.Idoubthewant
    s
    anythi
    ngtodowithmeaf teral
    lIsai
    dtohi
    m.”
    “
    Doy
    oubl
    amehi
    m?”
    Theyor
    der
    edandwal
    kedout
    .
    “
    Hedi
    dn’
    tev
    enseey
    ou.Let
    ’sor
    der
    .”
    Inoddedt henshecall
    edforawai t
    er.Mi
    nutes
    l
    ater,Itookmyphoneandcal l
    edhim wal
    king
    out.Bi
    nal aughedandstoodupcomi ngaft
    er
    measIwal kedgoingt
    hedirecti
    ontheyhad
    taken.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Oteng,
    wher
    edi
    dyougo?Ij
    ustsawy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Eazi
    ,whatdoy
    ouwant
    ?”
    “
    Iwantust
    otal
    k.”
    “
    YouandIhav
    enot
    hingt
    otal
    kabout
    .”
    “
    Please,
    Ijustwantt
    otal
    k.Wher
    ear
    eyout
    aki
    ng
    t
    hatwoman? ”
    “That’
    snonofyourbusi
    ness.Whyarey
    ou
    call
    ingapedophi
    l
    e?Ahumant raf
    fi
    cker
    ?”
    “
    Iwantt
    otal
    k,Iam comi
    ngt
    oyourhouse.
    ”
    “
    Youar ecrazy
    ,don’
    tcomet omyhouse.
    Nothi
    nghaschanged.Iam sti
    l
    lthesameman
    youknew6mont hsback.Iam sti
    l
    lthatman
    youdon’twantcl
    osetoyourson.”
    “
    Keet
    akoo!Thatwomani
    sgoi
    ng.
    ”
    “Othapel
    wamogonnawena.Goandpl
    ayy
    our
    stupi
    dgamesel
    sewher
    e.”
    “
    Iam comi
    ng!
    ”
    Hehungup.Il
    ookedatBi
    na.“
    Ihav
    etogo.Iam
    sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Don’
    tbe,
    gety
    ourman.
    ”
    “
    Bye!
    ”
    Ir
    ushedt
    omycart
    hendr
    oveof
    f.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #86

    Ot
    engputhi
    sphoneawayasEl
    l
    enl
    ookedat
    hi
    m.
    “
    Ever
    ythi
    ngok?
    ”
    “
    Yeah…”
    Heputhi shandsonherwai standkissedher .
    Ell
    enkissedhim backt ouchinghischestasher
    cli
    trespondedtot hoseli
    psonher .Hisphone
    rangasheunzi ppedherdr essfrom behindthen
    tookoffcompletelyignori
    ngt hephone.He
    hookedherpant iesandpulledthem out.His
    phoner angagain,annoyedheanswer ed.
    “
    Yah?
    ”
    “
    Kar
    ekeet
    ako,
    tel
    lhert
    oleav
    e.”
    “
    Want
    wael
    awenaEazi
    .”
    “
    Iam comi
    ngt
    her
    e,t
    ell
    hert
    ogo.
    ”
    “
    Iam notdoi
    ngthat.Don’
    tcometomyhouse.
    Wantenayaanong,
    don’tpushme.
    ”
    “
    Iam sorr
    yfort
    hethi
    ngsIsai
    d,canwepl
    ease
    t
    alk,
    tel
    lhert
    ogo.”
    “Iam notdoingthat
    .Stopcall
    ingme,Iam soon
    goingtoblockyou,somethingyouknowhowt o
    dobest.”Hehungandpul ledouthist-
    shi
    rtand
    ki
    ssedEl
    l
    enagai
    n.

    *
    **

    Ipar
    kedmycarandsteppedoutt
    henr
    ushedt
    o
    hi
    sdoorandbangedi
    t.
    “
    Oteng!
    ”
    Ibangedi
    tev
    enhar
    der
    .“Ot
    eng!Ot
    eng!
    ”
    Ihear
    dfootstepsthenst
    eppedbackwit
    ha
    poundi
    nghear t
    .Heopenedthedoorandlooked
    atmeshirt
    less.Il
    ookedathi
    statt
    oosandt ook
    adeepbreath.
    “
    Eazi
    whatdoy
    ouwant
    ?”
    “
    Tel
    lhert
    oleav
    e!”
    “
    Hav
    eyoul
    osty
    ourmi
    nd?
    ”
    “
    Thewhor
    eyouhav
    einsi
    de.Tel
    lhert
    oleav
    e.”
    “
    Iam notdoi
    ngt
    hatandshei
    snotawhor
    e.She
    i
    smygi
    rl
    fr
    iend.
    ”
    “
    Sincewhen?
    ”
    “Canyouleave?Idon’twantt
    ofightwit
    hyou.I
    acceptedyourr
    equestandstayedfaraway
    from y
    ou.Ihavemov edon.”
    Tear
    sfil
    l
    edmyey
    es.“
    Otengst
    opi
    t,t
    ell
    hert
    o
    l
    eave.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    eful
    lofi
    t.
    ”
    Tear
    srandownmycheeks.“
    Tel
    lhert
    oleav
    e.”
    “Iam apedophi
    l
    etoyou,
    Irapeki
    ds.Leav
    e
    befor
    eItraf
    fi
    cyou.
    ”
    “Iam sorry.Pleasef
    orgiveme.Ishoul
    dn’
    thav
    e
    saidallIsaid.Iapol
    ogizeddi
    dn’
    tI?”
    “
    So?
    ”
    “
    Tel
    lhert
    oleav
    e.Iwantust
    otal
    k.”
    “
    Saywhat
    every
    ouwantt
    osaynow.
    ”
    “
    Please…”
    “
    Iam notdeal
    i
    ngwi
    thyourdoubl
    estandar
    ds,
    l
    eav
    emyhouse.Youdon’tl
    oveme.”
    “
    Ili
    ed….Il
    i
    ed.Pl
    easet
    ell
    hert
    oleav
    e.”
    Her
    aisedabr
    ow.“
    Oh,
    soy
    oul
    i
    ed?
    ”
    “Iwasj ustscaredthi
    nki
    ngwearerel
    ated,
    pleaset el
    lhertoleav
    e.Youar
    ebreaki
    ngmy
    heart.Iloveyou.”
    “Youwantmewhenitsuit
    syou,Iam ov
    ery
    ou.
    I
    t’sf
    unnyhowyousuddenlyl
    ovemebecauseI
    havemovedon.Leav
    e.”
    “Iam notgoingany
    where!Iwasgoingt
    ocome
    hereaftert
    hedivor
    cegotfi
    nali
    zed,
    Iswear
    .Tel
    l
    hertoleave.
    ”
    “Iam donetal
    kingtoy ou.El
    l
    enisnotgoi
    ng
    anywherebuty ouare.Idon’
    twantt
    otouchyou,
    Iam call
    ingsecuri
    ty.
    ”
    Ipushedhi
    m outoft
    hewayandhurri
    edi
    nsi
    de
    thehouset
    ohisbedroom wher
    eEl
    l
    enwas
    si
    tt
    ingwit
    hatowelar
    oundherbody
    .Shelooked
    atmethenbackatOt
    engwhohadjustwalked
    i
    n.
    “
    Dressup.
    ”
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “
    Youar
    eleav
    ing,
    that
    ’swhat
    ’sgoi
    ngon!
    ”
    Shel
    ookedatme.“
    Iam nott
    alki
    ngt
    oyou.
    ”
    “ButIam talki
    ngtoy ou.Dr
    essup.Youar
    e
    embarrassingyourself
    .”
    El
    lenstoodupandl
    ookedatOt
    eng.“
    Arey
    ou
    doingt
    his?”
    Hesi
    ghedhandi
    ngherhi
    scarkey
    s.“
    Iwi
    l
    ltal
    k
    t
    oyou.
    ”
    Shedr
    oppedthetowel
    anddr
    essedup.“
    You
    knowwheret
    ofindme.”
    Shewalkedoutthenissi
    ghedturni
    ngtohi
    m.
    “Whatareyoutal
    kingtoheraboutandwhyare
    yougiv
    ingheryourcarkeys?Youarebl
    ocki
    ng
    her
    .”
    Helookedatmewit
    hsomuchintensi
    ty,
    a
    shi
    verrandownmyspi
    ne.“
    Iam notgoi
    ngtoj
    ail
    becauseofyou.
    ”
    “
    Youshoul
    dbl
    ockher
    .”
    “Youarenotgoi
    ngtocontrol
    me.Wantena
    ebil
    e.Aft
    erthej
    unkyousaidyouar
    ethel
    ast
    persontobeinmyhouse.Whatdoyousmoke?
    Itmessesupwithyourhead.
    ”
    “Howmanyti
    messhouldIapol
    ogi
    ze?Wher
    e
    didyouev
    engether
    ?Shedoesn’
    tlookl
    i
    keyour
    type.
    ”
    Hecl
    i
    ckedhi
    stonguet
    aki
    ngoutaci
    gar
    ett
    e
    t
    henl
    ight
    edi
    tup.
    “
    Idon’
    tli
    ket
    hesmel
    lofni
    cot
    ine.
    ”
    “Thenl
    eave.Idon’
    tev
    enknowwhyy ouarehere.
    Youhavei
    ssuesandIt ol
    dyou,
    Iwouldn’
    tdat
    ea
    brokenwomanandy ouareone.”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “Youar eabr okenwoman, y
    ouhav eawayt oo
    muchbaggageandy oudon’tevenknowhowt o
    deal withitwi thouthurti
    ngpeopl ewho
    genui nelycar eabouty ou.Everyoneisyour
    enemy .Iam notgoi ngtobet hatmanf ory ou
    whoi sgoingt of ixyou,f
    ixyourselfbecause
    eitherway , Iam donewi thyou.Howl onghasi t
    been?6mont hsandIhadenought i
    met othink
    abouti tall.Icer t
    ainl
    ydon’twantt obewi tha
    womanwhot alkstomet hewayy oudidwhen
    angr yandt hi
    nkshecanj usteraseitallwit
    han
    apology .Youhav esomuchangerIwi llnotf al
    l
    victi
    mt oitagai n.”
    Itookadeepbr eat
    h.“Iam sor r
    yforwhatIsai
    d,
    i
    twashar shandmean, Iletmyangergettome,
    somet hingthatIhavebeenwor ki
    ngonbutstil
    lI
    apologize.Iknowy ouarenotapedophi l
    eorany
    ofthoset hi
    ngsIsai dyouar e,
    Ishoul
    dhav e
    neversai di
    t.Iknowsay ingsorrywon’
    tsetit
    ri
    ghtbutt hat’sal
    lIhav etogetherwitha
    promiset hatitwil
    lnev erhappenagai n.Iam
    al
    sosor ryf orthr
    owingmywei ghtaround, I
    under
    st andi fyouhav elosti
    nterestinme.Iam
    notgoingt oexcusemybehav iorbutIam only
    human.Iam notper fectandjustlikeanyot her
    humanbei ngIhav emyf l
    aws.Youcancal l
    her
    backandapol ogizemybehal f.Itwon’thappen
    agai
    n.”
    “
    Wheni
    syourdi
    vor
    ceget
    ti
    ngf
    inal
    i
    zed?
    ”
    “
    OnMonday
    .”
    “Eazii
    fyouchaseawaymybi r
    dfornor eason
    thenyoupl
    aygameswi t
    hme, otil
    egoswaba.
    Thist
    imearoundIam notgoi
    ngtoj ustwalk
    away,youmustthi
    nkIam afool.
    ”
    Ist
    oodupsmi
    l
    ing.“
    Ket
    samay
    e?(
    Shoul
    dIgo?
    )”
    “Idon’
    ttrustyou,youwi
    l
    lsayonet
    hinganddo
    somethingelse.”
    “
    Blockher
    .”
    Hethrewhi
    scigarettei
    nhisasht
    raypoppi
    nga
    minti
    nhismoutht hentookhi
    sphonethen
    bl
    ockedherandlookedatme.
    “
    Youbet
    terbegenui
    nebecausei
    fyouar
    enot
    …”
    “
    Stopt
    hreat
    eni
    ngme.
    ”
    “Iam notthreateningy ou,Iam tell
    ingyou.Iam
    notplayinggameswi t
    hy ou.AndIam goi ngto
    fi
    xthatmout hdiarrheaofy ours,Iam notanyof
    yourexes, Iam meandy ouaregoi ngto
    understandt hatthehar dway .Iam goingto
    fuckyousohar dwhenev eryoulookatme, y
    ou
    will
    thinktwicebef oreopeni ngthatmout hof
    yours.AndIwon’ tstoptil
    lIknowy ouhave
    understoodme”
    “
    Isai
    dIwassor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    est
    il
    lgoi
    ngt
    obev
    erysor
    ry.
    ”
    Hepulledmecloserwit
    hmyhai rspit
    tingthe
    gum androughl
    ykissedme.Ikissedhim back
    runni
    ngmyhanddownhi schesttohisabsthen
    sli
    ppedi tinsi
    dehispantsandt ouchedhishar d
    dick.Myhear tski
    ppedasIf i
    rmlystr
    okedhi m,
    feeli
    nghi m growev ent
    hickerinmyhead, the
    veinspoppi ng.Hesqueezedmywai stgrunti
    ng
    withhislipsonmi ne.Hisphoner angthenhe
    releasedmyl ipsreachi
    ngf ori
    twhileIsecretl
    y
    smel tmyhand.Hepaused.
    “
    Arey
    ousni
    ff
    ingmydi
    ck?
    ”
    “
    Ihav
    etobesur
    e.”
    “
    Sur
    eofwhat
    ?”
    “Thaty
    ouwerenotri
    dingherbef
    oreIcame.
    Youarehal
    fnakedandshewasnaked.”
    Otengputhisphonedownandt ookof fmy
    summerl ongdress.Hecuppedmybr east
    ki
    ssingme, t
    histi
    menotsor ough.Het wi
    sted
    myni ppl
    essohar dIl
    etoutamoanoutofpai n.
    “
    Oti
    e…”
    “
    Idon’
    twantt
    oti
    eyouup.Skant
    swar
    a.(
    Don’
    t
    t
    ouchme.
    )”
    “
    Ng…”
    Hesl i
    dhishandinsidemypant yandgr unted
    touchingmywet ness.Her ubbedmycl i
    tgently
    asImoanedsof t
    lywhilehebr eathedheav i
    ly
    kissi
    ngmeagai n.Hepushedhi sf i
    ngerinsi
    de
    andtappedsomet hingsweet ,Ithrewmyhead
    bagmoani ng.Iheldont ohim, myknees
    weakeningwitheacht ap.
    “
    Oti
    e…mhmmm…”
    Hesl
    idhisf
    inger
    soutpushi
    ngmetothebed
    t
    henpul
    ledoutmypantypart
    ingmyl
    egs.
    “
    Oisakaekukuyekimayaana?(
    Wher
    ear
    eyou
    t
    aki
    ngthi
    sfatpussy
    ?)”
    Hedi ppedhi sheadbet weenmyl egsashis
    fi
    ngersl i
    di nagain.Icl osedmyey es,my
    muscl estighteningwhi l
    eheleakedandsucked
    mewi thhi
    sf ingert appingthesamesweetspot.
    Igrabbedt heduv etvibrati
    ngbeneathhi
    m.
    “
    Arr
    rgOt
    eng….
    ”
    Herai
    sedhisheadandt
    ookouthisbi gdi
    ck
    t
    aki
    ngoutacondom.Iwat chedhim puti
    ton,
    f
    earsett
    li
    ngwhil
    ehiswor
    dsr angatthebackof
    myhead.
    “
    Oteng…”
    Hepull
    edmet othecornerofthebedl i
    ft
    ingmy
    l
    egandplaci
    ngitonhisshoulderthenpointedit
    atmyentr
    anceasmyhear tpounded,Iswearhe
    coul
    dhearit
    .Helookedinmyey esthencurved
    hi
    sbackand#remov ed.
    .
    Iscr
    eamedfeeli
    nghisdicksodeepinsideas
    myorgasm t
    hrashedmey etagainmer enderi
    ng
    meweakashef uckedharderandhar der
    .Wi t
    h
    mychestonthebedandonel egont hebed, I
    cl
    osedmyey esti
    ghtl
    ytaki
    ngitinli
    keabi ggirl
    ,
    herodemythewav eofmyor gasm,histhrust
    weresorel
    entl
    ess.Heheldmywai stdril
    l
    ingme,
    hehadbeenati
    tforawhilethati
    tfel
    tasifmy
    pussywasonfi
    re.Isl
    owlygotdownbedand
    wit
    htinyst
    epswalkedtotheopenwindow.
    Hef
    oll
    owedbehi
    ndpoundi
    ngi
    ntome.
    “Wakae?Ti
    sakukuy
    ame.(
    Wher
    ear
    eyougoi
    ng?
    Bri
    ngmypussy.
    )”
    Otengpushedmylegstoget
    herbendi
    ngme
    sli
    ght
    lyandcur
    vedhisbackthr
    usti
    ngbackand
    for
    th.
    Thecrampsgotwor se,Ipushedhim back
    sl
    ightl
    ytr
    yingtoatleastatl
    etaninchout.“Go
    bothoko…(It
    ’spai
    nful.
    )”
    “Iwantyoutounderst
    andwhoIam t oyou.We
    areputt
    ingevery
    thi
    nginl
    ine.Riana,
    keago
    bankyanya…(Iam f
    ixi
    ngyou.)
    ”
    Hegroanedinmyearasourbodi
    essl
    apped
    agai
    nstoneanot
    her.Acardr
    ovei
    nandparked
    besi
    deshis.
    “
    Oteng…”
    “
    Shhh…t
    heywon’
    tseeus.
    ”
    “
    Ngng…”
    HeslidoutasIcaughtmybr eatht henturned
    mear oundpickingmeup.Iwr appedmyl egson
    hiswaistthenshov edhisdickbacki nagain.He
    l
    ookedatmef uckinghar derandhar der
    ,his
    eyestamingme, hetappedal lcorner si
    nmy
    vagi
    naf orminut esundi stur
    bed, Imoaned
    feel
    i
    ngmy selfreachagai n.Mywal ksbegun
    ti
    ghteni
    ngar oundhi m ashisthrustcamemor e
    fast
    er.
    Isankmynai l
    sonhisbackshakingv iol
    ent l
    y
    withadeepthroat
    edmoan, Otengkissedme
    swall
    owingmymoansashi sdickgrewev en
    thi
    ckeri
    nsideme.Hegav emeonel astthrust
    andshothisloaddeepi
    nsidewhi l
    ehisdi ck
    j
    erked.
    Hel
    ookedatmebr
    eat
    hingheav
    il
    y.“
    Areweon
    t
    hesamepage?
    ”
    Iqui
    ckl
    ynodded.“
    Yes.
    ”
    “Ifyouknowy ouar enotser ious,Iwanty out o
    dressupandl eave, Idon’thav et i
    met opl ay
    gameswi thy ouandIcer tai
    nl ydon’twantt ogo
    tojai lbecauseofy ou.Iam notsay i
    ngt histo
    scar ey ou, i
    t’sr ealit
    y.Don’ tthinky oucanuse
    thef actt hatIl ov ey ousomucht oy ourown
    adv ant ageandt akemef oraf ool,itwon’ tend
    well.Il ov eyouwayhar derthanIhav eev er
    l
    ov edany onewhi chmakesi talldanger ousif
    yout hinky oucandoubl ecrossmebecausei f
    youdo, Iam si mpl ygoi ngt oki l
    lyoubecauseI
    knowIwoul dn’ tcheaty ou.Iwi l
    lmakesur eyou
    aredeadbecausewheny ouar emi ne,y ouar e
    onlymi ne, faithfulnessi skeyher e.Ifyouknow
    your self, j
    ustleav e.Iam gi v
    ingy ouachancet o
    deci dewhaty ouwantr ightnow.Ei thery ouwal k
    outory oust ay .Youar enotgoi ngt osi tont he
    fence, pi ckasi deandst ayt here.”
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #86
    #r
    emov
    ed

    Helookedi nmyeyesthencurvedhi
    sbackand
    Helookedi nmyeyesthencurvedhi
    sbackand
    pushedwhi l
    emyheartbeatevenfast
    er.Hi
    s
    di
    ckpr essedatmyentrancet
    henheslowly
    str
    etchedhiswayinsi
    de.
    “
    Oteng…”
    Heleanedoverandki
    ssedmepushi
    nghisway
    i
    nstretchi
    ngmebeyond.Ipul
    l
    edawayatthe
    pai
    n.
    “
    UhGod!
    ”
    Hepushedf
    urt
    heri
    n,unabl
    etot
    aket
    hepai
    n
    any
    mor
    eIpushedhi
    schest
    .
    “
    It
    ’spai
    nful
    .It
    ’sbeenawhi
    l
    e.”
    “
    Skant
    swar
    aEazi
    …”
    Tear
    sfi
    l
    ledmyey
    es.“
    It
    ’spai
    nful
    .”
    Hegavemeseri
    ouslook,Il
    efthi
    schestlay
    ing
    myheaddownquiet
    ly.“
    Asitshouldbe.Iam
    f
    ucki
    ngyouint
    oli
    ne.Am Iclear
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    That
    ’smygi
    rl
    .”
    Hesl i
    doutandr emov edthecondom whi leI
    starednotsur eifitwasagoodi deat oev ensay
    somet hing.Hepi nnedmyhandsont opofmy
    headwi thonehandt henslidinwithhi sraw
    dickandst artedthrusti
    ngwi t
    honl yhalfhisdick,
    skinonski n.Icouldfeelmypussyst retchedto
    thelimitwhilehepushedi noverandov eragain.
    Mypussysl owlybegunadj usti
    ngasImoaned
    softly
    .Mov inghiswai stl
    ikeaprof essional
    fucker
    ,hehitacert
    ainspoti
    nsideme,Icl
    osed
    myey esenj
    oyingeachtapthathi
    tthesame
    spotcountl
    essti
    mes.
    “
    Uhhh…mhmmmm.
    .itf
    eel
    sgood.
    ”
    Her eleasedmyhands, Imov edmywai st
    moani ngl oudly.Heputhi shandsonmywai st
    l
    iftingmeabi tanddr i
    lledintomef orawhi le
    unint errupted.Ibegant ighteningar oundhim,
    mypussygr easingthatbigdi ck.Hegav emea
    deept hrustbur yi
    nghisdi ckdeepi nsideme
    withadeepgr unt,afl
    amesear edthroughout
    mybodyasIscr eamedi nbi t
    tersweetpl easure
    spasmi ng.Igr abbedthesheet s,thewav eof
    pleasur esendi ngmei ntoasei zurel i
    ke
    si
    t uat i
    on.
    Otengputbothmylegsov erhisshoulder
    sand
    begunfucki
    ngme,sli
    ppingandoutofmy
    wetnesswhil
    emywhi t
    ishjuicescoveredhis
    di
    ck.Hebuil
    thismoment um andhammer ed
    mypussysohar di
    tfel
    tasi fhewant edtojust
    destr
    oyitbey ondrepair.Hepushedbot hlegsto
    mychestandl ookedathi mselfdisappearingin
    andoutofmypussy .Hechangedangl es
    fucki
    ngdeeperandhar der.Iscreamedwi t
    h
    eachthrustfeeli
    ngasi fmypussywasonf ir
    e.
    Heslidoutandwat chedasmyhol eshrunk.
    Withmyl egsonmychest ,heranhi stongueon
    mypussysweepi ngacrossmysensi t
    ivecli
    t.My
    toescurl
    edashel i
    ckedandsuckedme.
    “Oteng….!!
    !!
    ”It hr
    ewmyheadbagf eelingmy
    orgasm appr oach, heraisedhisheadal lofa
    suddent henl etgoofmyl egsstrokinghiswet
    dickbackandf ort
    hst aringatme.Il ookedat
    thev ei
    nsal lpoppingoutwhi lemypussy
    throbbedlicking.Hepul ledmedownwi thmy
    hair.Iopenedmymout hashebr oughthi sdick
    tomymout hthenhegr oanedatthewar mth.He
    fuckedmymout hsl i
    dingdeepertohi ttheback
    ofmyt hr
    oat.Tearsf il
    ledmyey esunabl et o
    breathe.Hemov edf asterhisgruntsfill
    i
    ngt he
    ent
    ir
    er oom ashestar
    edatmewithhi
    sdicki
    n
    mymout h.Isl
    idmyhandbetweenmylegs
    l
    ist
    eningtohim enj
    oyi
    ngthenr
    ubbedmycli
    t.
    Hesli
    doutandhel dhi
    sdick
    “
    Kneeont
    hebed,
    chestandf
    acedown.
    ”
    Iquicklyturnedandkneltpressedmycheston
    theback.Hegotcl oserpull
    i
    ngmycheeksapart
    anddr ovehi sharddickdeepinsi
    demewitha
    grunt.Igroanedont othebedfeeli
    ngasi
    fhe
    wasmet alslici
    ngintome.Irai
    sedmyhead
    fai
    li
    ngt otakei tbuthepressedmychestdown
    withhishand.
    “Rai
    set
    hatheadupagai
    nandIam f
    ucki
    ngy
    our
    ass.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    etoodeep.I
    thur
    ts.
    ”
    “
    Iam notgoi
    ngt
    orepeatmy
    sel
    fEazi
    .”
    Tearsfi
    ll
    edmyeyes,Iputmyli
    pstoget
    her
    putt
    ingmyheaddown.Wi t
    hhishandsonmy
    waist,
    heworkedhi
    mselfinandoutofmewit
    h
    deepthrust
    s.Tearsdr
    oppedtothebedasthe
    pai
    ngotev enworse,i
    twasifsomethi
    nghad
    possessedhim asheseemednottocare.
    Ibr
    okedowncr yi
    ngunabletodealwit
    hit
    any
    mor e,t
    hisposit
    ionwasthedevi
    li
    tsel
    f,i
    tfel
    t
    asi
    fhewasspl it
    ti
    ngmypussyi nt
    otwohalves.
    Heignoredmeslappinghi
    sbodyagainstmine.
    “OhGodOteng…I
    ’
    m sorry
    …Iwon’
    tdoi
    tagai
    n…
    ahhhf
    uck!I
    t’
    spai
    nful
    .”
    “Yout
    hinkyoucantal
    ktomehowev
    ery
    oul
    i
    ke
    andgetawaywithi
    t?”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry!OhGodhe’
    ski
    l
    li
    ngme.Hel
    p!”
    Hepull
    edmedownt hebedwi t
    honeleg
    remai
    ningandmycheststi
    l
    ldownandr ammed
    deepi
    nsidemeemanatingaloudscr
    eam fr
    om
    me.
    “
    Godhel
    pme!
    ”
    “
    Hei
    snotgoi
    ngt
    orescuey
    ouf
    rom mebaby
    …
    youaremi
    netofi
    xtoday
    .Aftert
    his,youare
    goi
    ngtoknowhowtocarryy
    ourselfaround
    me.”
    Ipulledthepi l
    lowt ocomf ortmysel
    fwhi lehe
    thoroughlyf uckedme.Mypussygotwet t
    eras
    thesuddenpl easureleatheredit
    sel
    faroundme.
    Hewentonf ormi nuteswhi l
    eImoanedpant ing,
    thepl easureget ti
    ngsweet erandsweeterwith
    eacht hrust.Imoanedhi snameunder standi
    ng
    j
    ustwhatt hismancoul ddot ome,fuckhewas
    anal pha.Hisdomi nancewassexyoni t
    ’sown.
    Mybodybegunv i
    br at
    ingpushingmecl oserand
    closer.
    Iscreamedf eeli
    nghi sdicksodeepi nside, my
    orgasm t hrashi
    ngmey etagainmer ender i
    ng
    meweakwhi l
    ehef uckedhar derandhar der.
    Withmychestont hebedandonel egont he
    bed, Icl
    osedmyey est ightl
    ytakingiti
    nl i
    kea
    biggi r
    l,herodemyt hewav eofmyor gasm, hi
    s
    thrustwer esor el
    entless.Hehel dmywai st
    dril
    lingme, hehadbeenati
    tforawhilethatit
    feltasifmypussyhadcaughtonwi l
    df i
    re.I
    slowl ygotdownbedandwithtinyst
    epswal ked
    tot heopenwi ndowfeel
    i
    ngacramp.
    Hef
    oll
    owedbehi
    ndpoundi
    ngi
    ntome.
    “Wakae?Ti
    sakukuyame.(
    Wher
    ear
    eyougoi
    ng?
    Bri
    ngmypussyhere.
    )”
    Otengpushedmylegstoget
    herbendi
    ngme
    sli
    ght
    lyandcur
    vedhisbackthr
    usti
    ngbackand
    for
    th.
    Thecrampsgotwor se,Ipushedhim back
    sl
    ightl
    ytr
    yingtoatleastatl
    etaninchout.“Go
    bothoko…(It
    ’spai
    nful.
    )”
    “Iwantyoutounderst
    andwhoIam toyou.We
    areputt
    ingever
    ythi
    nginl
    ine.Ri
    ana,
    keago
    bankanya…”
    Hegroanedinmyearasourbodi
    essl
    apped
    agai
    nstoneanot
    her.Acardr
    ovei
    nandparked
    besi
    deshis.
    “
    Oteng…”
    “
    Shhh…t
    heywon’
    tseeus.
    ”
    “
    Ngng…”
    HeslidoutasIcaughtmybr eatht henturned
    mear oundpickingmeup.Iwr appedmyl egson
    hiswaistthenshov edhisdickbacki nagain.He
    l
    ookedatmef uckinghar derandhar der
    ,his
    eyestamingme, hetappedal lcorner si
    nmy
    vagi
    naf orminut esundi stur
    bed, Imoaned
    feel
    i
    ngmy selfreachagai n.Mywal ksbegun
    ti
    ghteni
    ngar oundhi m ashisthrustcamemor e
    fast
    er.
    Isankmynai l
    sonhisbackshaki
    ngviol
    entl
    y
    withadeept hroat
    edmoan,Otengki
    ssedme
    swal l
    owi ngmymoansashi sdickgr
    ewev en
    thickerinsideme.Hegav emeonelastthr
    ust
    growl i
    ngandshothi sl
    oaddeepinsi
    dewhi l
    ehi
    s
    dickjerked.
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfWi
    fe

    #87

    Ilookedi
    nhisseri
    ouseyes,
    myhear
    tpoundi
    ng.
    “Iwanttogi
    veitatry
    .”
    “
    Arey
    ousur
    e?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Iam goi
    ngtogiveyoueveryt
    hingyouever
    want
    ed,makesureyoulacknothingsothat
    t
    omorrowwhenthingsturnsouthyouexplai
    nto
    mewhereIwaslacking.
    ”
    “
    Cany
    oust
    opt
    alki
    ngaboutki
    l
    li
    ngme?
    ”
    Hekissedme.“
    Dressup.Myfat
    heri
    sher
    e,I
    wantyoutomeethim.Hur
    ryup.
    ”
    Heputonhi
    spantsandgr
    abbedanot
    hert-
    shi
    rt
    t
    henputi
    tonwalki
    ngoutwhi
    leIt
    ri
    edsit
    ing
    wi
    thmyt hr
    obbingpussy.Igent
    lymassagedmy
    l
    owerabdoment r
    yingtoeazethepai
    n,aminute
    l
    aterIdr
    essedupandt ookadeepbreath
    walki
    ngthr
    oughthepainofmyswol l
    enpussy.
    Hisfat
    herwalkedj
    ustasIsatdownwithone
    butti
    nholdi
    nghisgranddaught
    erwhi
    l
    ePenny
    fol
    lowedbehi
    nd.
    Shesmil
    edexcit
    edlyspot
    ti
    ngmeandhugged
    metight
    ly.“
    HeyEazi…”
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Longt
    imenosee.Youv
    ani
    shedi
    nthi
    nai
    r.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    Hisfat
    herlookedatmesurpr
    isedthenIstood
    upputti
    ngmyhandst oget
    herrespect
    ful
    l
    y.
    “Dumelang…”
    Hesmil
    edandlookedatmet henathi
    ssonwith
    anod.“
    Mydaughter,
    pleaset
    akeher,shehas
    beenwant
    ingt
    ogot othetoi
    l
    et .
    ”
    “
    Ehr
    ra.
    ”
    Iopenedmyarmsandt
    ookhert
    othet
    oil
    et
    walki
    ngbrav
    ely
    .
    “
    Hey
    …”
    Shel
    ookedatme.“
    Hi.
    ”
    “
    What
    ’sy
    ourname?
    ”
    “
    Kyr
    aLel
    ent
    leBogat
    su.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    ”Ky
    raLel
    ent
    eBogat
    su.
    ”
    Tear
    sit
    chedmyey esasIl
    ookedather
    .“Your
    nameisLel
    ent
    le?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Ipul
    l
    eddownherpant stogetherwithher
    pant
    iesandwipedthetoi
    letseatthenplaced
    hert
    heresupport
    ingher.
    “
    Youhav
    eabeaut
    if
    ulname.Il
    ovei
    t.
    ”
    “
    Iam done.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Ir
    eachedforatissuethenwipedherandpul
    led
    upherpanti
    es.Ifrownedst
    aringatt
    hebrui
    se
    onherbutt
    .
    “
    Whathappenedt
    oyourbut
    tsweet
    y?”
    “
    Not
    hing.
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Canwebef
    ri
    ends?
    ”
    “
    Youar
    ebi
    g.”
    “Yesbutwecanbef ri
    endsandIcanprotect
    youfrom ev
    ery
    onewhot ri
    estohurtyou.Havi
    ng
    bigfr
    iendsi
    sfun.Icanbeatever
    yone.”
    Shesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Youcan’
    tbeatev
    ery
    one.
    ”
    “
    Ican.
    ”
    “
    Evendaddy
    ?”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Yes,
    evendaddy.Iwil
    lbeathi
    m but
    nott
    oohardbecausehei
    sy ourdaddy.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    whataboutspi
    der
    man?
    ”
    “
    Icanbeathi
    mtoo.Iwi
    l
    ljustki
    ckhi
    m andhe
    wi
    llf
    all
    .”
    Shelaughedt
    hrowi
    ngherheadback.“
    You
    can’
    t!
    ”
    “
    Ican.Iam v
    eryst
    rong.See,
    Icancar
    ryy
    ou.
    ”
    Ipi
    ckedherupandhel
    dheri
    ntheai
    rasshe
    l
    aughedloudl
    y.
    “
    Ok,
    whataboutsuper
    man.
    ”
    Iputherdown.“Small
    fishthatone.Sosee?I
    canprotecty
    ou.Youcant el
    lmeany thi
    ng.I
    won’tt
    ellanyone,
    itwi
    llbeourli
    tt
    lesecret
    .”
    “
    Pinkypr
    omi
    se?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Whathappenedt
    oyourbut
    t?”
    “
    Uncl
    ebeatme.
    ”
    “
    Who’
    suncl
    e?”
    “
    Mama’
    sfr
    iend.
    ”
    Il
    ookedathersadl
    ythenpi
    ckedherup.“
    Ok,
    I
    won’
    ttel
    lany
    one.
    ”
    Shetouchedmyhai
    r.“
    Iwantt
    odomyhai
    rli
    ke
    your
    s.”
    “
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    ldoi
    tfory
    ou.
    ”
    Iwalkedoutwi t
    hhert hencaref
    ullysatdown
    wit
    hheri nthesitt
    ingroom whil
    eOt engstood
    outsidechatt
    ingwithhisfat
    herstanding
    againstthei
    rcars.Pennycamef rom theki
    tchen.
    “Imi
    ssedyoubutever
    yti
    meImenti
    onedy
    ou,
    youwouldsweari
    twil
    lbeasi
    fIki
    l
    led
    someone.”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Iam her
    enow.Shest
    ayswi
    thher
    mother
    ?”
    “
    YesbutIcol
    l
    ect
    edhery
    est
    erday
    .”
    “
    Hermot
    heri
    smar
    ri
    ed?
    ”
    “
    No.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    IlookedatKy
    raf i
    ghti
    ngt ounlockmyphone
    thenIputmyfingeront hefi
    ngerpri
    ntsensor
    .
    Shesmi l
    edasitunlocked.
    “
    Iwantt
    opl
    ayagame.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Iopenedagameappandl
    ookedout
    sidewher
    e
    Otengwassti
    l
    ltal
    ki
    ngwi
    thhi
    sfat
    her.

    *
    **

    Outsi
    deOt
    engsighed.“
    Idon’
    tknow,
    Iam not
    sur
    eabouther
    .”
    “Youmoul dawomant obewhaty oul i
    ke.That
    womanmustbet hesamewomany ouruncle
    alwaystalksabout.shedrov
    eal l
    ni ghttosee
    you,don’tloseadiamondjustbecausey ou
    don’twantt ocl
    eanandshapei tthewayy ou
    want,someoneel sewill
    andy ouwi llr
    egretit
    .”
    “
    Ehr
    ra.
    ”
    “Gapesheist
    oobeaut
    if
    ul,
    youneedt ohurr
    yup
    andmarryher
    .Ther
    earevult
    uresandtheywil
    l
    takeher
    .”
    Hel
    aughed.“
    Theywoul
    dn’
    tdar
    e.”
    “
    Youwil
    lbeshocked.Theywi
    llt
    akeherf
    rom
    y
    ouinaverysi
    mplemanner.”
    “Whoev
    eriti
    spr
    obabl
    ywi
    l
    lbehav
    inga
    deat
    hwish.
    ”
    “Nooneneedsadeathwishtoseeabeauti
    ful
    womanandt akeher
    .Youarenotevenher
    husband,
    justamereunsur
    eboyfr
    iend.
    ”
    Otenglookedi
    nsi
    dethehouseandlookedat
    Eazil
    aughingwi
    thhi
    sdaughteronherlap
    “
    Ihear
    dyou.
    ”
    “
    Good.Ihav
    etogo.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    *
    **

    Il
    ookedupasOtengwalkedbackinsi
    dethe
    housewi
    thhi
    sfather
    ,hewinkedatmet henI
    l
    ookedawaysmil
    ing.
    “
    Okdaught
    er,
    Inowhav
    etogo.
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Hav
    easaf
    ejour
    ney
    .”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    PennyhuggedmeandKy
    rathenherbr
    other
    .
    “Papai
    sdroppi
    ngmehome.Bye!
    ”
    Theywal
    kedout.Ot
    engpickedhi
    sdaught
    erup
    wit
    hasmile.“
    Heypri
    ncess.
    ”
    Shegi
    ggledashekissedherneck.“
    Comeand
    seewhatIboughty
    ou.”
    HewalkedawaywithherasIr
    emainedsit
    ing
    t
    hinki
    ngofthebr
    uiseonherbutt
    .Minut
    eslater
    hewal
    kedov
    er.
    “
    Wher
    eisshe?
    ”
    “
    Play
    ing.Foundy
    ourf
    ather
    ?”
    Ishookmyhead.“
    No.
    ”
    “
    Youst
    oppedl
    ooki
    ng?
    ”
    “Iam t
    ir
    edofbeingrej
    ectedsoIam j
    ust
    avoi
    dingthei
    ssue.Iwil
    lbefi
    ne.
    ”
    “Whati
    fIam yourcousi
    nandtheol
    dmanjust
    sai
    dall
    thatbull
    tosavehimsel
    fandhi
    sfami
    ly
    ?”
    “Iam nothischil
    d,Istal
    kedhim andhiski
    ds.I
    l
    ooknot hingli
    kethem.Hei sdarkandsoismy
    mother,therei
    snowayt heycanhaveachild
    l
    ikeme.Iguessshet houghtbecauseheisthe
    oneshewassl eepi
    ngwi t
    hconstantl
    yhehadt o
    betheone. ”Il
    ookedathi m.“
    WasEl l
    enreal
    ly
    yourgir
    lfr
    iend?”
    “Nobutwefuckoccasi
    onal
    l
    y.Nost
    ri
    ngs
    att
    ached.
    ”
    Inodded.
    “
    Itwasn’
    tany
    thi
    ngser
    ious.
    ”
    “
    Doesy
    ourexst
    aywi
    thherboy
    fri
    end?
    ”
    Hef
    rowned.“
    No.
    ”
    “Shehasabr ui
    seonherbut
    t.Don’taskher
    ,she
    doesn’twantyout
    oknowbuty ourex’s
    boyfr
    iendbeather
    .”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “Shehasabui
    seonherbum,Iaskedherand
    shesaidi
    t’
    shermot
    her’
    sfr
    iend.
    ”
    Heturnedt ogotowal kout,
    Iquicklystoodup
    andgrabbedHi shand.“Imadeapr omiseI
    wouldn’tt
    ellyou,shealr
    eadyhassomel itt
    le
    tr
    ustinme.Don’ trui
    nthatbystart
    lingher ,
    she
    waspr obablythr
    eatenedorsomet hing,next
    ti
    meshewon’ tsayanythi
    ng.”
    “Ican’
    tbel
    i
    eveshel
    etherboyf
    ri
    endputhis
    handsonmydaughter
    ,bati
    legonyel
    a.”
    “
    Youshar
    e50-
    50cust
    ody
    ?”
    “
    Yeah,
    Rebaonewant
    wael
    a.”
    Hegrabbedhiscarkeys,
    Ilookedathi
    mfuming
    r
    eadytoexplode.Icl
    osedthemaindoorl
    ocki
    ng
    i
    t.
    “I
    fyougot oherandputy ourhandsonher ,you
    aregoi ngt ojai
    landy ouaregoi ngtol oseKy ra.
    Someonet ol
    dmenott oletanot herper son
    changewhoIam becauset hatwi l
    lmeant hey
    control overmyl i
    fe.Youcanact ual
    lyf i
    l
    ef orf ul
    l
    custodyofKy raifyoushowt hemagi stratet hat
    Kyraisunsaf einhermother ’
    scar e.Youar e
    angryandIunder standyouranger ,
    nol ov i
    ng
    cari
    ngf at
    herwoul dbehappyknowi ngt heir
    chil
    di sbei ngabusedbuthowy ouar egoi ngt o
    dealwi ththisisgoingtodet ermineal ot .
    ”
    “Ican’
    tbel
    i
    eveshel
    etherboy
    fri
    endl
    ayhi
    s
    handsonmydaughter
    !”
    “
    Weshoul
    drepor
    tnowbef
    oret
    hebr
    uisef
    ades.
    Maybether
    eisal
    ott
    hathappenst
    hatshehas
    nev
    ertol
    d.”
    Ot
    engl
    ookedatme.“
    Let
    ’sgo.
    ”

    *
    **

    Li
    nasmi l
    edasLebothatookcount
    lesspi
    ctur
    es
    oft
    hem whilet
    heypouted.Li
    na’
    sphonerang
    di
    srupt
    ingthem t
    hensheanswered.
    “
    Linaspeaki
    ng…”
    “
    Hi,
    Igoty
    ournumberf
    rom Dr
    .Bokani
    .”
    “
    Mygy
    nae?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    HowmayIhel
    pyou?
    ”
    “Il
    ookedintoyourfi
    l
    easweev al
    uat
    edy
    our
    casetoday.It
    hinkIcanhel
    pyou.
    ”
    Li
    nast
    oodupandwal
    kedaf
    ewf
    eetf
    rom
    Lebot
    haatt
    heout
    doorr
    est
    aur
    ant
    .
    “
    Hel
    pme?
    ”
    “Yes.Youneedachi l
    d.Youhav ePCOS, even
    withtreat
    mentitmighttakeforeverti
    l
    lyou
    actuall
    yhaveachil
    doritmi ghtnothappenfor
    you.Youwi l
    lkeept
    akingmedi cinethi
    nki
    ngit
    willhel
    pbutsometi
    mesnot hi
    nghappens.”
    “
    Whatar
    eyousay
    ing?
    ”
    “Iam pr
    egnantandIwantt
    ogivemychi
    ldup
    foradopt
    ionassoonassheisbor
    n.Youneeda
    chil
    dontheotherhand.
    ”
    Li
    naswal
    l
    owedhar
    d.“
    Youwantt
    ogi
    vemey
    our
    chi
    ld?
    ”
    “Yes,nooneknowsIam pregnantandIdi
    dn’
    t
    evenregi
    sterthepr
    egnancy.Wecanmake
    every
    onebelievei
    t’
    syourbaby.
    ”
    “
    Howf
    arar
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    5mont
    hsgoi
    ngt
    o6.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    ousur
    e?”
    “
    Lina,Ihaveneverbeenmor esure.Iwasgoi
    ng
    t
    oabor tbutIwouldn’
    tli
    vewiththefactofki
    l
    li
    ng
    achil
    dsoIwi l
    lgivehim ov
    er.”
    “
    It
    ’sahe?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Doy
    ouwanthi
    m?”
    Tear
    sfi
    l
    ledherey
    es.“
    Yes,Ihopey
    ouar
    enot
    pl
    ayi
    ngwit
    hmyemot i
    ons.
    ”
    “
    Iam not
    .Iam ser
    ious.
    ”
    “Ok,uhhwecanmeetanddi
    scussev
    ery
    thi
    ngi
    n
    person.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    eal
    awy
    err
    ight
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Ok.Wecanmeett
    oni
    ght
    .”
    “
    That
    ’sokwi
    thme.Ev
    ennowi
    fyouar
    efr
    ee.
    ”
    “
    Myshi
    ftendsat6,
    wecanmeetaf
    ter
    .”
    “
    Ok.Youwi
    l
    ltel
    lmewhen.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Li
    nahungupandwipedawayat earsmil
    ing.
    Shef
    eltsoexci
    tedj
    ustt
    hinki
    ngaboutit
    .

    *
    **

    Aftert hehugeweddi ngcel ebrati


    on, Sadi walked
    tothecarwhi leAber emainedbehi ndchat ti
    ng
    withaf ewofhi scousi ns.Shegoti nthecar
    i
    gnor ingAbe’ smot herwhowasst andingbyher
    car,thatwomancer tainlydidn’tl
    ikeherand
    honest lytherewasnot hingshecoul ddoabout
    i
    t.Oneoft heweddi ngguestwhohadpar ked
    besideAbe’ scarwal kedov erunlocki nghi scar
    fr
    om adi stantandgoti n.Hel ookedov erat
    Sadi whowaspr essingherphoneunawar eof
    hisey esonhert henher ol
    leddownhi swondow.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    Sadi
    lookedathi
    m andsmi
    l
    edpol
    i
    tel
    y.“
    Hel
    l
    o.”
    “
    Isawyouearl
    i
    eronwheny
    ouar
    ri
    ved.What
    ’s
    y
    ourname?”
    “
    Sadi
    .”
    “
    TlhammaSadi
    omont
    le.
    ”
    Shel
    ookedathi
    m andl
    aughed.“
    Niceone.
    ”
    “
    Iam t
    ell
    i
    ngy
    oubutIam sur
    eyouknowt
    hat
    .”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    Helookedathersmi
    l
    e.“
    Didy
    oucomewi
    th
    someone?”
    “
    Yes.Myboy
    fri
    end.
    ”
    “
    Boy
    frent
    e?”
    Sadi
    chuckl
    ed.‘
    Yes.
    ”
    “Waai
    .Nowheisgoi
    ngtowat
    chmesnat
    chy
    ou.
    CanIhavey
    ournumber
    ?”
    “
    Iam notacheat
    er.
    ”
    “
    Youdon’
    tev
    enl ookli
    keoneandtr
    ustme,I
    won’
    tmakeyouone.Nicemeeti
    ngyouSadi
    ,by
    t
    hewayIam Kane.”
    Sadil
    ookedathi
    m ashedrov
    eawayt
    hen
    si
    ghedtappi
    ngEazi
    ’snumber
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Eazi
    .It
    ’sSadi
    .”
    “
    Oh,
    howmayIhel
    pyou?
    ”
    “
    Weneedt
    otal
    k.I
    t’
    simpor
    tant
    .”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #88
    “
    Aboutwhat
    ?”
    “I
    sitpossi
    blet
    omeet
    ?Iwantt
    odoi
    tin
    person.
    ”
    “
    Iam abi
    tbusyt
    oday
    .”
    “
    Please.
    ”
    “
    Um ok,
    howaboutnow?
    ”
    “
    Iam goodwi
    thany
    thi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    wher
    e?”
    “
    Air
    por
    tJunct
    ionmal
    l
    .”
    “
    Ok,
    Bye.
    ”
    Shehungupt
    henSadil
    ookedatAbegeti
    nthe
    carwi
    thasmi
    le.Heki
    ssedher
    .
    “
    Hey
    …”
    Sadi
    smi
    l
    ed.“
    Hi.Youwer
    eonf
    ir
    etoday
    .”
    Abel
    aughedl
    eani
    ngbackonhi
    sseat
    .“WasI
    ?”
    “
    Bestmandi
    dthet
    hings.
    ”
    “
    Itwasmydut
    y.”
    “
    Sowhatnow?
    ”
    “
    Nowwegohome.
    ”
    “
    Ok,butt
    her
    eissomet
    hingIwantt
    odoatAPJ
    mal
    l
    .”
    “
    Ok,
    wewi
    l
    lpassby
    .”
    Hest ar
    tedt
    hecarandrever
    sedoutofthe
    parki
    nglott
    hendroveoff
    .Sadiputonher
    seatbel
    t.
    “
    Didy
    ouspeakt
    oyourmot
    her
    ?”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    “
    And?
    ”
    “Idon’
    twantyoutostr
    essy our
    selfwi
    thher
    .I
    l
    ov eyouandthat
    ’sal
    lthatmatter
    s.Don’
    tmake
    somebody’si
    ssuesyours.
    ”
    Sadi
    smi
    l
    ed.“
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Iwantust
    omov
    ebackher
    e.Iwantt
    obemor
    e
    i
    nvol
    vedint
    hebusi
    nesswi
    thmybr
    other
    sandI
    don’
    twantt
    oal
    waysbedri
    vi
    ngorf
    lyi
    ngupand
    down.”
    “
    Whataboutmyj
    ob?
    ”
    “
    Youneedt
    ost
    artappl
    yi
    ngher
    e.”
    Sadi lookedathi m andnodded.Awhi l
    el at
    er
    shest eppedoutoft hecaratAi rpor
    tJunct ionin
    hery ell
    owdr esswi t
    hasl i
    tthatst ar
    tedj ustat
    hermi dthigh.Shepi ckedthet ailsl
    i
    ght l
    y
    sashay inginsi dethemal lwi
    thhersi lverheels
    whileAbewat ched.Shewasn’ tasdar kasshe
    waswhenshewaspr egnant,herhoneycar amel
    skintonewasbackandsowasherf lawless
    skin.Shet uckedherweav eatt hebackofher
    earast hewi ndbl ewi tonherf ace.Shef i
    nall
    y
    disappear edi nsidet hemal l
    thenhest eppedout
    togethersomet hing.

    *
    **
    Insi
    det hemall
    ,Iwai tedimpat ientl
    ybya
    restaur
    antthensawherwal kingov erinayell
    ow
    dress.shehadshedsomewei ghtbutnotallof
    i
    tandherbodyl ookedamazi ng.Shesmi l
    ed
    sitt
    ingopposit
    eme, Ismi l
    edbackr eali
    zi
    ngthat
    pregnancysomet imesj ustmadeusl ookli
    ke
    theev i
    lqueen.
    “
    Hi,
    Iam sor
    ryf
    orj
    ustdemandi
    ngt
    omeety
    ou.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok.HowcanIhel
    pyou?
    ”
    “
    Iwantust
    otal
    kaboutMal
    col
    m.”
    “
    Oh?
    ”
    “Abemadeami stakebackt henEazi.Youknow
    helovesthatboysomuch, hegav eallhi
    sheart
    tohim andIrealizehowhet reat
    edhimt hetime
    youcamet oKasanemadey oudoubthi slov
    e
    forhi
    m buthel ov esMalc.Heal waystalks
    abouthim.Weal lmakemi stakesandhe
    real
    iz
    eshisandhewoul dli
    ket ocorrectit
    .Is
    t
    her
    eawayf
    orhi
    mtost
    artmeet
    ingMal
    col
    m?”
    “AbehurtMalc’sf
    eel
    ingsbutIdidnotdenyhi
    m
    seeingMalc.IdoadmitthatIwasangryback
    thenbecauseofthethi
    ngst hatwer
    ehappeni
    ng
    butithasbensixmonthsandAbenev er
    botheredt
    oapaologozetoMal c.
    ”
    “
    Hei
    sscar
    edt
    hat
    ’swhyIcamet
    oyou.
    ”
    “Iwouldnev erdenyhi
    m Mal
    cbutofcause
    thingscan’tbethesameanymore.Hecansee
    him butforthetimebei
    ngIdon’
    twanthim
    goingtoKasanewi thhi
    m.Hewi l
    lseehi
    mt hen
    bringhim backthesameday.Iwouldr
    atheryou
    alsobet here.
    ”
    “
    Iam goodwi
    thany
    thi
    ng.
    ”
    Ismil
    ed.“
    Ok,t
    henwear egood.Youhavemy
    number.Wewil
    lkeepcommunicati
    ng,butIj
    ust
    wanttocommunicat
    ewithyou.
    ”
    Sadi
    smi
    l
    ed.“
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Howi
    sSummer
    ?”
    “
    Bigandcant
    alkf
    orday
    s.”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Congr
    atul
    ati
    onsont
    hebaby
    .”
    “Thankyou.Nehmmawhatdoy oudotoget
    thatbody?Ihavebeengoi
    ngt
    othegym but
    nothi
    ngiswor ki
    ng.
    ”
    “Ij
    ustgotot
    hegy m,youshoul
    ddoi
    tev
    ery
    day
    .
    Andchangeyourdiett
    oo.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    ltr
    yit
    .”
    Ist
    oodup.“
    Youl
    ookbeaut
    if
    ulbyt
    heway
    .”
    “
    Iam f
    rom Ti
    no’
    sweddi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Ihopeev
    ery
    onehadabl
    ast
    ,Ihav
    etogo.By
    e!”
    Iwal
    kedovert
    owher
    eOt
    engwasst
    andi
    ng
    hol
    dingKy
    ra.
    “
    Done?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Hehel
    dmyhandwi
    tht
    heot
    herhandand
    wal
    kedwi
    thmeoutoft
    hemal
    l
    .

    *
    **

    Meanwhi l
    eAbewat chedholdingfl
    ower s,
    his
    heartpoundi
    ngagainsthischest.Heswal l
    owed
    hardstari
    ngatEazilaughwiththeman.He
    couldtel
    lsomethingwasof fwithherwalkand
    wassur eshehadbeenf ucked.Apainfall
    clog
    satonhisthroatashelookedaway .Sadi
    smilednoti
    cinghimthenwal kedover.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Whatwer
    eyoudi
    scussi
    ngwi
    thher
    ?”
    “Malcol
    m,sheagr
    eedforyout
    oseehi
    m butf
    or
    adayatat i
    me.It
    oldy
    ou,Eazi
    isan
    underst
    andi
    ngsomeone.”
    “
    Soshei
    sst
    il
    lseei
    nghercousi
    n.”
    “
    Herwhat
    ?”
    “
    Thatmanishercousi
    n.Herf
    atheri
    sbrot
    hers
    wi
    thhi
    sfather
    .Ican’
    tbel
    i
    eveshewouldstoop
    t
    hatl
    ow.”
    “
    Howdi
    dyouknowt
    hat
    ?”
    “
    Hersi
    stert
    oldme.
    ”
    “Thosepeopledon’
    tlookli
    kecousi
    nsandeven
    i
    ftheyarejustl
    etherbe,sheknowswhatshei
    s
    doing,
    arethosemine?”
    “Yeah.”Hehandedt hem tohert henwal kedto
    thecarwi t
    hher .Bor
    ed,hestartedthecarand
    droveoff.Hedr ovei
    nhisy ar
    dt henwal ked
    i
    nsidewi t
    hher .Thenannysmi l
    edasSadi spoke
    toher.Abemadehi swaytot hebedr oom and
    star
    edatEazi ’
    snumberf orawhi l
    e,shewas
    probablysti
    ll
    wi thhi
    m.Tendai ’
    snamef lashed
    asthephoner ang.
    “
    Yah?
    ”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Ilef
    t.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iam al
    sol
    eav
    ingnow.
    ”
    “
    Eazii
    sst
    il
    lfucki
    ngherr
    elat
    ive.I
    sthatev
    en
    l
    egal
    ?”
    “Noonecanstopthem i
    fbothf
    amilesarenot
    sayi
    nganyt
    hingbutitmustbei
    ll
    egaltoget
    marri
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Nxla,andshewaswal
    ki
    ngasi
    fshe’
    sbeen
    f
    ucked.”
    “
    Wher
    edi
    dyouseeher
    ?”
    “
    Sadiwant
    edt otal
    ktoher
    ,Idi
    dn’
    tev
    enknow
    t
    il
    lIwal
    kedinsi
    dethemall
    .”
    “Eazi
    isnol
    ongery
    ourr
    esponsi
    bil
    i
    ty,
    shei
    sa
    grownwomanwhoknowswhatshewants.
    ”
    “Sheissodesper
    atef oraman, kooreshecan’
    t
    staywit
    houtbei
    ngf uckstari
    ngj
    ustfocuson
    Malcandherbusinessf oronce.Therehast
    o
    beamani nvol
    ved.Shei slooseebil
    ennawa
    mbor
    a.Shedoesn’tbehavelikear
    eal
    woman
    wi
    thsel
    frespect
    ,it
    ’spathet
    ic.”
    “
    Don’tputy
    ourener
    gyonher.Shecl
    ear
    lyhas
    movedon.YouhaveSadi
    ,l
    oveherri
    ght
    .”
    “Sheal
    wayshastobef
    uckedl
    i
    keawhor
    e.If
    eel
    sorr
    yforMal
    c.”
    “Obuiswakest ressl ejealous,bamoj a
    bashi
    maneba, hewi llprobablymar r
    yherand
    bethemany oucoul dn’tbe.Cousi nornocousi n,
    i
    fyoudonotmov eonf rom hery ouaregoingto
    l
    osewei ghtstr
    essedasf uckbecausey ouar e
    watchinghereverymov e.Youhav ebeen
    rel
    axedt hi
    nki
    ngshei ssi ngl
    ebutnowt hatshe
    i
    snot ,youarestressedandj ealous.
    ”
    “
    Iwantt
    otal
    ktoher
    .”
    “
    Don’
    tdothatt
    oyour
    sel
    f,l
    esamot
    hooa
    t
    samaye.
    ”
    “
    Ijustwantt
    otal
    ktoher
    .”
    “Youarelookingtobreaky ourheartforno
    reasonthenenduphar assingher,
    thatguywil
    l
    drownyouandki lly
    ou.Baf anebalegabatsabe.
    Ifyougoany wherecloset othei
    rwoman, ota
    swelamasepa. ”
    Sadi
    wal
    kedi
    ntaki
    ngof
    fhershoes.
    “
    Wewillt
    alk,byt
    hewayi
    smamabackwi
    th
    y
    ourf
    ather?”
    Tendai
    clickedhi
    stongue.“
    Yes.Wewi
    l
    ltal
    k,I
    haveanissuetodealwit
    h.”
    Abedroppedt
    hecal
    landwatchedSadi
    undr
    ess.
    Sheputonhersi
    mpl
    edress.
    “
    Arey
    ouok?
    ”
    Henodded.“
    Yeah.Sowhendi
    dEazi
    sayIcan
    st
    artseei
    ngMalc?
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lherandar
    rangef
    oradat
    e.”
    “
    Youguy
    sar
    efr
    iendsnow?
    ”
    “
    No,
    wej
    usthav
    eanunder
    standi
    ng.
    ”
    Shewal
    kedoutt
    henhet
    ext
    edEazi
    .

    *
    **

    Iparkedmycarbyi nOteng’syar
    dthenhe
    l
    eanedov erkissi
    ngmewhi leKyr
    asleptatthe
    back.Heslippedhishandinsi
    demypant yand
    touchedmyswol lenpussy
    .Iheldhi
    shand.
    “
    Takeheri
    nsi
    de…”
    Hesmi l
    edthensteppedoutandtookKyrafrom
    theback.Hewalkedwithheri
    nsidethehouse,I
    star
    tedthecaranddroveoff
    .Secondslat
    ermy
    phonerang.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Otsabang?
    ”
    “
    Kanaompol
    ail
    e.It
    hinkIhav
    eat
    ear
    .”
    Hel
    aughed.“
    That
    ’swhathappenswheny
    ou
    l
    ackmanners.That’
    showIputyoui
    nli
    ne,i
    fyou
    gi
    vemeat t
    it
    udeordisr
    espectmeIwi
    ll
    fuckyou
    ti
    l
    lyoucan’
    tfeelt
    hatpussy
    .”
    “Youar
    elaughi
    ng.Iam i
    npai
    n,ev
    enmyl
    ower
    abdomenisinpai
    n.”
    “
    Kegoneot senagmot
    sel
    eng.Doy
    ouwanta
    massage?
    ”
    “
    No,goanddosomethi
    ngf
    unwi
    thKy
    ra.Today
    wasalongdayf
    orher
    .”
    “
    Thankyouf
    orthesuppor
    t,t
    hat’
    sthekindof
    womanIwoul
    dchooseanygivenday.Ilov
    e
    you.
    ”
    Ibl
    ushed.“
    Ilov
    ey outoo,whenar
    eyou
    col
    l
    ecti
    ngyourothercar?
    ”
    “Ihav
    easkedsomeonet
    ocol
    l
    ecti
    tanddr
    opi
    t
    home.”
    “
    Ok.By
    e.”
    Ihungupst
    oppi
    ngt
    hecarbyt
    her
    edt
    raf
    fi
    cli
    ght
    t
    henopeNedt
    henewmessageIhad.
    Unknown:Sadit
    oldmey
    outal
    kedaboutMalc,
    thankyouforagr
    eei
    ngt
    oletmeseehim once
    awhile.
    Isi
    ghedandqui ckl
    yrepl
    i
    edthendrov
    ehome.
    Minut
    esl at
    erIparkedmycarandwalkedi
    nsi
    de
    myhousest ar
    ingatmyr i
    ngi
    ngphonethen
    answered.
    “
    Iket
    lewena.
    ”
    Malcol
    mr anov
    erandhuggedmet
    ight
    ly.“
    Hey
    sweety
    .”
    “
    Imi
    ssedy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    rybutIam backnow.Wher
    eisaunt
    y?”
    “
    Cooki
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Tel
    lhernott
    o,Iwi
    l
    lor
    dersomet
    hing.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Her
    ant
    otheki
    tchenwhi
    l
    eIwal
    kedt
    omy
    bedr
    oom.
    Bi
    nal
    aughed.“
    Didy
    ougethi
    m?”
    “
    WhatcanIusetoreducethepai
    ndownt
    her
    e.I
    f
    eel
    li
    keheleftahugehole.
    ”
    Binalaughedevenharder.“Goandsoakthat
    pussyincoldsalt
    ywat er
    .Ifyoufeel
    gorehe
    destroyedi
    t,ci
    nnamonngwadaka!Don’tforget
    stoney,hal
    lsandfreshmilk.
    ”
    “
    Whatdoest
    hatdo?
    ”
    “Goandsoakthatpussyi
    ncoldwater
    ,anddo
    kegel
    exer
    cuces.Iwil
    ltel
    lyout
    herest
    .Hewon’t
    knowwhathithi
    m.”
    Myphonebeepedreport
    inganincomingcal
    l
    ,I
    t
    ookalookandlaughed.“Ont
    laiscal
    l
    ing,we
    wi
    ll
    tal
    k.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Idr
    oppedBi
    na’
    scal
    landanswer
    edOnt
    lamet
    si’
    s
    cal
    l
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hey
    ,openf
    orme.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “Iam att
    hegat
    e.It
    houghty
    ouneededsome
    supportf
    orMonday
    .Youcan’tdeal
    wit
    hthi
    s
    alone.
    ”
    Iwentoutandlookedathercaratthegate.I
    pressedt
    heremoteandletherin.Shestepped
    outandhuggedme.
    “
    Hey
    !”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Iam sohappyt
    oseey
    ou.
    ”
    Shesteppedback.“
    Icansmel
    lamanal
    lov
    er
    you.
    ”
    Il
    aughed.“
    No.
    ”
    “
    Icansmel
    lhi
    m,who’
    she?
    ”
    “
    Noone.
    ”
    Ont
    lamet
    sil
    aughed.“
    Thammat
    ell
    me,
    kea
    shwegashwega,
    keeneAbe?
    ”
    “
    Abemov
    edon,
    Iwoul
    dnev
    ersl
    eepwi
    thhi
    m.”
    “
    Thenwhoi
    sit
    ?”
    “
    Oteng.Wear
    epat
    chi
    ngt
    hingsup.
    ”
    Ontl
    ast oppedsmi l
    i
    ng.“Youar
    ebackwiththat
    cr
    iminal agai
    nandy oul
    ethim sl
    eepwit
    hyou?
    Hemi ghtbey ourcousi
    nforcr
    y i
    ngoutl
    oud!”
    “Youdon’tev
    enknowhi
    mtosayheisa
    cri
    minalandhei
    snotmycousi
    n.”
    “Whati
    shetoldhi sunclet
    oli
    etoy ou?Ifhe
    coul
    dli
    eabouty oubeingpossi
    blecousinswhat
    wil
    lst
    ophimf r
    om hav ingt
    hatuncleofhisli
    eto
    ypu?Wasthatev enhim?Maybeitwas
    someonewhohadj ustcomeforthefuneraland
    hebri
    bedhimtopr etendtobetheuncle.”
    “
    Ont
    lamet
    si-
    “
    “
    Heisnotgoodforyou.St
    ayawayf r
    om hi
    m wi
    l
    l
    y
    ou?Didyouevenuseprotect
    ion?
    ”
    “
    Whatdoy
    ouhav
    eagai
    nsthi
    m?”
    “
    Youdeser
    vebet
    ter
    .”
    “IknowwhatIdeserveandIcanmakemyown
    decisi
    ons.Il
    oveOtengandheisher
    etostay,
    if
    youdon’tli
    kehi
    mt henIcan’
    thel
    pyou.Now
    that’
    soutoftheway,comeonin.
    ”
    .
    Don'
    tfor
    gett
    oli
    keandcomment
    ..
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #89

    Ont
    lamet
    sif
    oldedherar
    msst
    ari
    ngatmet
    hen
    t
    ookastepback.“
    Oh?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Hei
    sgoi
    ngt
    oki
    l
    lyou.
    ”
    “
    Whatmakesy
    ousosur
    e?”
    “
    Iam l
    ooki
    ngoutf
    ory
    ou.Thi
    smani
    snotr
    ight
    f
    oryou.
    ”
    “
    AndIappr
    eciatethat,
    Iappr
    eci
    atethaty
    ouar
    e
    l
    ooki
    ngoutformebutIam oldenoughtomake
    myowndecisions.Iam 30goi
    ngfor31.
    ”
    “Heisnotgoodfory ou,menlikehim ki
    l
    l.They
    don’tl
    eav
    ey ougraspingforbreathi
    nbushes,
    theyendyourl
    if
    e!Don’ tdothi
    s,whatabout
    Malc?Doy oueverthinkabouthim?”
    “It
    hinkaboutmysonal
    lthet
    ime,whydoyou
    hatehimthi
    smuch.Youdon’
    tevenknowhim.
    ”
    “
    Iknowenough.Idon’
    tthi
    nkheev
    enl
    ovesy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Yousoundj
    eal
    ousr
    ightnow.
    ”
    “Jealousofwhat
    ?Al owlif
    ecri
    minal?Ireal
    l
    y
    thoughtyouhavemat ur
    edbutseemsy ouare
    sti
    lldumb,youaresodesperat
    eit’
    ssad.Fir
    stit
    wasMoemedi ,youst ayedevenwhenhewas
    abusingy ou, f
    oundagoodguyandl osthi
    m
    becausey oucoul dn’taccepthisloveandnow
    yougotacr iminalt
    or eplacehim.You
    personallyy ouar etoxicandy ouknowwhat ?I
    thi
    nkt heyar eri
    ghtwhent heysayy ouattr
    act
    whoy ouar e.Youseem t olovebeingt r
    eat
    ed
    l
    ikedirtbutt hat’
    sallony ounow.Iam done
    l
    ookingaf tersomeonewhocan’ tthinkor
    reasonf ort hemselves.”
    Iwatchedherwal
    ktohercarthendroveof
    f.
    Gogontlewal
    kedouthol
    dingherhandbag.
    “
    Iam goi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sf
    ine.Seey
    ou.
    ”
    Sewalkedawayt henIturnedandwalkedi
    nside
    thehouseorder
    ingpizza.Isatbesi
    desMalc
    putt
    ingmylegsont hetable.
    “
    Whatar
    eyouwat
    chi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Anact
    ionmov
    ie.
    ”
    Il
    ookedathi
    m.“
    Woul
    dyouwantasi
    bli
    ng?
    ”
    Helookedatmewi
    thasmi
    l
    e.“
    Youmean
    get
    ti
    ngababy?”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    arewehav
    ingababy
    ?Li
    keSummer
    ?”
    “
    May
    be.Idon’
    tknow.
    ”
    “Ican’
    twai
    tforhi
    m,Iwi
    l
    lteachhi
    m howt
    opl
    ay
    soccer.
    ”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Whati
    fit
    ’sgi
    rl
    ?”
    “Iwi
    llst
    il
    lteachher
    .Mel
    i
    ssaatschool
    play
    s
    soccerwit
    husandsheisgood.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Iputmyhandov ermyfl
    atst
    omachwi thasmi l
    e
    thenconcent
    rat
    edonthemov i
    e.Myphoner ang
    j
    ustasIgotthehangofthemov i
    e.Il
    ookedat
    thenumberAbehadusedearli
    erandreluct
    antl
    y
    answer
    ed.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hey
    ,IhopeIam notdi
    stur
    bingany
    thi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    No.
    ”
    “
    Ify
    ouar
    eokwi
    thi
    t,canIspeakt
    oMal
    c?”
    “
    Abe…_
    ”
    “Iwantt
    oapol
    ogi
    ze.Youcanputi
    tonl
    oud
    speaker
    .”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Iputt
    hephoneonloudspeaker
    .“Mal
    c,
    someonewantst
    ot al
    ktoyou.”
    “
    Champ!
    ”
    Mal
    cgasped.“
    Dad!
    ”
    “
    Hey
    ,Imi
    ssy
    ou.
    ”
    Tear
    sfi
    ll
    edhisey
    es.“
    Imissyoutoobuty
    ou
    sai
    dyouarenotmydadanymore.
    ”
    Iswal
    l
    owedhar
    dli
    steni
    ng.
    “
    IknowandIwaswr
    ong.
    ”
    “
    DidIdosomet
    hing?
    ”
    “No,youdidnothing,i
    twasme.Somet i
    mes
    evengrownupsmakemi st
    akesandImadea
    mistake.YoudidnothingwrongandIshoul
    d
    havenev ersai
    dthat.Iam y
    ourDad.”
    “
    Myr
    eal
    dadi
    sdead.
    ”
    “
    Iam al
    soy
    ourot
    herr
    eal
    DadbecauseIl
    ove
    y
    ou.
    ”
    “Youl
    eftmamaandI,
    youhaveanewf
    ami
    l
    y
    andwearenol
    ongeryourf
    amil
    y.
    ”
    “Iam sor
    ryf
    orleavi
    ngyouandmama.IwishI
    cancomebackbutnowIcan’t.Iwantt
    ostar
    t
    visi
    ti
    ngyoubecauseIl
    oveyouverymuch.
    ”
    Tear
    srol
    l
    eddownhi
    scheeks.“
    Yousai
    d…-
    “
    “For
    getwhatIsai
    d.Icancel
    ital
    l
    .Iam sor
    rymy
    boy.
    ”
    “
    Youmi
    ssedmygames.Myt
    eam won.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ryf
    ormi
    ssi
    ngy
    ourgame.
    ”
    “
    Youhadpromisedt
    hatyouwoul
    dbet
    her
    eand
    y
    ouwerenot.Iwasr
    eall
    ysad.
    ”
    It
    ookadeepbr
    eat
    hbl
    i
    nki
    ngawaymyt
    ear
    s.
    “
    Iam sor
    ry,
    canImakei
    tupt
    oyou?
    ”
    “I
    t’
    stoolate,r
    ightnowweareonbreak.The
    coachsaidthatwewill
    resumeaf
    terawhi l
    e.”
    “
    Iwil
    ltakeyouout
    ,youwilll
    ovei
    t.Iwil
    lar
    range
    wi
    thsomeofmysoccerf ri
    endst
    ocomeand
    t
    eachy ouacoupl
    eoftr
    icks.Wewillpr
    act
    ice
    t
    ogether.
    ”
    Mal
    col
    mlookedatme.“
    Canhemama?
    ”
    Inodded.“
    Yeah.
    ”
    Mal
    col
    m smi
    l
    edexci
    tedl
    y.“
    Mamasai
    dyes.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    howi
    sschool
    ?”
    “
    IgotA’
    sinev
    ery
    thi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    That
    ’smyboy
    !Iwi
    l
    lgety
    ousomet
    hingbi
    g.”
    “Ican’
    twai
    t.Ar
    ewenowgoi
    ngt
    obeaf
    ami
    l
    y
    again?
    ”
    “
    No,buty
    ouandIar
    egoi
    ngt
    obel
    i
    keol
    d
    t
    imes.
    ”
    “
    Youdon’
    tlov
    emamaany
    mor
    e?”
    “Il
    ovemamaandIwil
    lal
    wayslov
    eherbutnow
    Ican’
    tbewi
    thher
    .Maybeonedayint
    hefut
    ure.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    Ir
    emovedt
    hephonef
    rom l
    oudspeaker
    .“Ok,
    bye.
    ”
    “
    Wai
    t,Iwantt
    otal
    ktoy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Wehav
    enot
    hingt
    otal
    kabout
    .”
    “Pl
    ease,Imessedup,IknowbutIpr
    omi
    sey
    ou,
    I
    am notharassi
    ngyou.
    ”
    “
    Whatdoy
    ouwant
    ?”
    “
    Toapol
    ogi
    zef
    orbehav
    ingl
    i
    keacr
    azyman.
    ”
    “I
    t’
    sok,Il
    ongfor
    gav
    eyouf
    ormyownpeace
    andsanit
    y.”
    “
    Ther
    eissomet
    hingIwantt
    ogi
    vey
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Whati
    sit
    ?”
    “Youhavet
    oseeforyoursel
    f.Iwon’
    ttakemuch
    ofyourt
    imeIpr
    omise.”
    “
    DoesSadi
    know?
    ”
    “
    Please…”
    “Abedi
    leIdon’
    twantt
    ofi
    ghtwi
    thy
    ou.I
    t’
    s
    exhausti
    ng.
    ”
    “I
    t’
    snotaf i
    ght,Ij
    ustwantt
    ogivey ou
    somethingthatbel
    ongstoyou.Icandropi
    tof
    f
    atyourhouse.”
    Icl
    osedmyey
    est
    hought
    ful
    l
    y.“
    Ok,
    butonl
    ytwo
    minut
    es.
    ”
    “Ok,
    wheredoy
    oust
    ayandwhat
    ’sy
    our
    addr
    ess?
    ”

    *
    **

    Abebr ushedhishairaft
    erputti
    ngonacl eant-
    shi
    rt.Het ookhisfavor
    it
    eperfumeandspr ayed
    ali
    ttl
    et henpickedhiscarkeysjustasSadi
    walkedi nfr
    om thebathroom i
    nherr edl
    inger
    ie.
    Shepausedwi thafr
    own.
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyougoi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Ihav
    etomeetTendai
    ,Iwi
    l
    lbebackj
    ustnow.
    ”
    “
    ButIt
    houghtwehadpl
    ans.
    ”
    Abeki
    ssedhercheek.“
    Iwi
    l
    lbebackbef
    orey
    ou
    knowi
    t.Bye.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Met
    oo.
    ”
    Shewat chedhi m walkoutt houghtf
    ul l
    y ,
    he
    smel tsoni ceforsomeonewhowasj ust
    meet inghisbr other,
    andal sothatt-shirt.Tear s
    fi
    ll
    edherey es, somethinghadbeenof fsince
    thetimehesawEazi earl
    ieronandsomet hing
    tol
    dherhewasgoi ngtoseeher .Shewasn’ t
    i
    magi ningi t.Shereachedf orherpainki l
    ler
    containerandt ookoutasi nglepil
    lthent hrewit
    i
    nhermout h.Shecaughtherr efl
    ectionont he
    mirror,herugl i
    nessreflectedbackather , she
    tookast epbackst ari
    ngatt heuglywomanwi t
    h
    wrinklesstar i
    ngr i
    ghtbackather .
    Sheclosedherey estr
    yingt ofightthevoicesi
    n
    herhead.“Youarenotr eal.Nothingis.Youare
    notreal
    .”Thevoicesgotl oudershest art
    ed
    mutteri
    ngtoherself.“
    Youar ebeautif
    ul,y
    ouare
    worthit
    ,youareast ar,abr i
    ghtstar.”
    Shesl
    owlyopenedherey
    esandsighedwi
    th
    rel
    i
    efst
    ari
    ngatherfacet
    henshesatdown
    wonder
    ingwhyshewasheari
    ngmor eoft
    he
    v
    oicesnowaday
    s.

    *
    **

    Otengrelaxedonhiscouchwi t
    hKy r
    alyi
    ngon
    hischestsleepi
    ngwhi l
    ehewat chedTV.Al oud
    knockmadehi mfrownget ti
    ngup,helaidhis
    daughteronherbeddecor at
    edinpinkthen
    walkedtot hedoorandopened.Ellensmi l
    edin
    herbum shor t
    s,at-shi
    rtandfli
    pfl
    ops.
    “
    Hey
    ,Icoul
    dn’
    tsl
    eep.Canwet
    alk?
    ”
    “Yes.
    ”Otengopenedt
    hedoorwiderl
    ett
    ingher
    i
    n.ShesatonthecouchthenOtengst
    aredat
    herwit
    hasmi l
    emakingherbl
    ush.
    “
    Hi…”
    Shechuckl
    edrubbi
    ngherhandst
    oget
    her
    .
    “Mmaboot si
    l
    e?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Iknowweagr eedt oanost r
    ingsat tached
    rel
    ationshipandi thasbeenamazi ngnot
    expectingany thinginretur
    nbutr athergoing
    withthef l
    ow.Imeant hatway,Icoul dactuall
    y
    avoidget t
    ingmyhear tbroken.Idon’ twantto
    spoilanythingbutIcan’ tsl
    eept i
    l
    l Itellyouthi
    s,
    whatev erdecisiony oumake, Iam goodwi t
    hit.”
    Ot
    engsatbesi
    deher
    .“What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “Ithi
    nkal ongwaymyhear thadabi t
    eoft he
    forbiddenf r
    uit.Itri
    edsur r
    essi ngt hefeelings,I
    wasgoi ngt ot ellyouy esterdaybutev ery
    thing
    wasj ustt ooni ceformet or uinit.Ilov eyou,I
    knowwhatweagr eedonbutIl ovey ou.I
    couldn’ thelpi tbutfallinlov ewi t
    hy ou.Ilove
    youwi thy ourimper fections, Godknowsy ouare
    notany wher enearper fectbutIl ov ey oulike
    that.It
    ’st her eal y
    out hatIl ovebecauseIal so
    canbemy selfwhenIam wi thy ou.Idon’ thav e
    topr etendt obesomeoneIam not .Youmake
    mehappy , may bey ouhav enev ernot icedbut
    youdomakemehappy .
    ”Ell
    ensmiled.“
    Iam not
    sayi
    ngexpecti
    ngforyoutofeel
    thesame, the
    l
    ast5mont hshavebeenthebestofmyl i
    fein
    all
    honest
    y.Ifyoudon’
    tfeel
    thesame, i
    t’
    sfine.
    ”
    Otengl
    ookedatherforawhil
    eadmi r
    ingherf
    or
    comingoutl
    iket
    hat.Hesmil
    edt henshe
    l
    aughed.“
    Whyarey ousmil
    i
    ngl i
    kethat?
    ”
    “BecauseIadmir
    ey ou.Ireal
    l
    ydo.Notal otof
    womencomeouti ntheopenl i
    ket
    his,
    they
    alwaysexpectt
    hement oberunni
    ngafter
    them.”
    “Ireallycouldn’
    tsleep.Iact
    uallyhavebeen
    cryingsincemor ni
    ng,Iam broken.OfcauseI
    woul dn’tleti
    tshowandhumi li
    atemy sel
    fin
    frontoft heotherwomanbutwhathappened
    hurtme, i
    t’ssti
    l
    lhurti
    ngmebecausenowIf i
    nd
    i
    thar dtoimaginey ouwithanotherwoman.
    Selfish,Iknow.”
    “
    Iam sor
    ryf
    orhur
    ti
    ngy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Youdon’
    towemeany
    thi
    ng.
    ”
    “St
    il
    l,Iam sorr
    y.Youdidn’
    tdeservethat
    .Itoo
    can’
    tsayIcompl etel
    yfeelnothi
    ngforyou.YesI
    l
    ovesomeoneel sebutIdofeelsomethongfor
    you.Somet hi
    ngnotjustcari
    ng.”
    El
    lensmiledt
    earful
    l
    y.“
    It
    ’sgoodt
    oknowI
    wasn’
    tjustapieceofmeat.
    ”
    At
    earr
    andownhercheekt
    henshequi
    ckl
    y
    wi
    pedi
    tof
    f.
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    Sheshookherhead.“Youdon’thavet
    o
    apologi
    ze,y
    ouowemenot hing.Ihopeshe
    real
    i
    z eswhatshehas.
    ”
    “
    Ihopesot
    oo.
    ”
    Shestoodupfor
    cingachuckl
    ethr
    oughherpai
    n.
    “Ok,
    Ihavesai
    dit,hopef
    ull
    ynowIcansl
    eep.
    ”
    Otengst
    oodupandhuggedhert
    ight
    ly.El
    l
    enput
    herarmsar
    oundhi
    m hol
    dinghi
    mt i
    ghtl
    yfora
    whil
    eburyi
    ngherselfi
    nthosear
    ms.Her
    eleased
    heraminutel
    ater.
    “
    Seey
    ouar
    ound.
    ”
    Shel
    aughed.“
    Yeahby
    e!”
    Shewalkedoutasheshookhi sheadwi t
    ha
    smil
    esitt
    ing.Nowwithhercompletel
    youtof
    thewayhecouldgiveEaziatr
    ythoughhest i
    l
    l
    haddoubts.Hetookhisphoneanddialedher
    number.
    Shesof
    tyanswer
    ed.“
    Hey
    …”
    Hesmi ledrecal
    li
    nghowshehadbeenmoani ng
    hisnameear li
    eron.Hismi
    ndt ookhi
    m backto
    thosescreamsandmoans, thosescr
    atcheshe
    sti
    llhadonhi sback.
    “
    Iam tr
    avel
    i
    ngi nafewdays.Iam signi
    ngadeal
    wit
    hacompanyi nDubai
    .Onlythreedays.Can
    youcomewith?Wannabespont aneous?”
    “
    Ihav
    eabusi
    nesst
    orun.
    ”
    “Youhavepeopl
    ewhocant
    akecareof
    busi
    ness.Pl
    ease…y
    ouwon’
    tregr
    etit
    ,Iswear
    .”
    Shegi
    ggl
    edsof
    tl
    y.“
    Thr
    eeday
    sonl
    y!
    ”
    “
    Wewi l
    ll
    eav
    eonFr
    idayandbebackby
    Monday.
    ”
    “
    Ok.Ihopethisi
    snoty
    out
    ryi
    ngt
    otr
    aff
    icmet
    o
    t
    heArabics.
    ”
    Hechuckl
    ed.“
    Waswaba.
    ”
    “
    Doy ouseey
    our
    sel
    fhav
    ingki
    dssooni
    nthe
    f
    utur
    e?”
    “
    Yes,Iwanttohav eki
    dsbuty
    oudon’
    thav
    eto
    f
    eelpressur
    ized.
    ”
    “Ial
    sowantachi
    l
    dort
    wo.Canwekeept
    his
    one?”
    “
    Youdon’
    twantt
    otakeemer
    gencypi
    l
    ls?
    ”
    “
    No.doy
    ouwantmet
    o?I
    fyoudo,
    it’
    sfi
    ne.
    ”
    “
    Don’
    t.Wecankeept
    hatone.
    ”
    “
    Real
    l
    y?”
    “
    Yeah.Ky
    rawoul
    duseasi
    bli
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Ihopei
    t’
    sashe,
    Iwantt
    ocal
    lherAl
    ana.
    ”
    “
    Whosay
    sit
    ’sagi
    rl
    ?”
    “Don’
    tbur
    stmybubbl
    e,Iwantagi
    rlandher
    nameisAlana.
    ”
    Mal
    col
    m spokeont
    hebackgr
    ound.
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lyouback,
    letmesor
    tsomet
    hing.
    ”
    Shehungt
    henhedi
    aledPennyget
    ti
    ngup.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Iam dr
    oppi
    ngof
    fKy
    ra,
    cany
    ouwat
    chher
    ?”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”

    *
    **

    Ot
    engdr
    ovei
    nandpar
    kedhi
    scarbesi
    desAbe’
    s
    car,heimmedi at
    elyr
    ecognizedt
    henumber
    plat
    e.Hel ookedatEazi
    ’shouseforawhi
    lethen
    fi
    nallyst
    eppedoutandwal kedovert
    othedoor.
    .
    .
    .
    Don'
    tfor
    gett
    oli
    keandcomment
    ,goodni
    ght
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #90

    Iqui
    etl
    yfini
    shedtypi
    ngmynewbusi ness’s
    documentthenlookedt hr
    oughi tagai
    nt i
    l
    lthe
    l
    astpagewi t
    hasmi le.Defini
    tel
    yhangingout
    wit
    hbusinesspeoplecoul dchangesomeone.
    Myphoner angasIcl osedmyl aptopthenI
    smil
    edanswer i
    ng.
    “
    Anay
    a…”
    “
    Hey
    ,Iknowi
    t’
    slat
    e,Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok.
    ”
    “
    SoIam i
    nvi
    ti
    ngy
    outot
    hisbusi
    nessev
    entas
    mydat
    eonMonday.
    ”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Pleasedon’
    ttel
    lmei
    t’
    sthosel
    ong
    speechki
    ndofevents.
    ”
    Shelaughed.“I
    tisandhubbywon’tbet
    her
    eto
    keeptheboredom out,Iwil
    lpr
    obabl
    ysl
    eep
    half
    waythrough.Pleasecomewithme.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    butonyi
    fwear
    eleav
    ingear
    ly.
    ”
    “Yes,
    GoshIcan’
    tst
    ayfort
    oolong.Iam sot
    ir
    ed.
    Iam thi
    nki
    ngoft
    rav
    ell
    i
    ng.Somefreshairwi
    l
    l
    domegr eat
    .”
    “Iwon’
    tbei
    nst
    art
    ingf
    rom Fr
    iday
    ,Iam goi
    ngt
    o
    Dubai.
    ”
    “
    Todowhat
    ?”
    “
    Ami
    nibaev
    acat
    ion.
    ”
    Anayalaughed.“ Okaaay!Iam sohappyy ouare
    fi
    nall
    ymov ingon, 1year6mont hsisnotaj oke
    butdon’tpl
    ayt henewguy .Iknowaf t
    era
    breakupyout hi
    nky ouaret otal
    l
    yov erthat
    personandcomeacoupl eofy earsyouar e
    thi
    nkingotherwiseandsomeonei sgoingt oget
    hurt.
    ”
    “Iam donewithAbe.Il
    ovedhi
    m butnot
    anymor e.WhenImoveon,Imoveontoget
    her
    withmyhear t
    .Idon’
    tgobackandmov ear
    ound
    i
    nci r
    cles.”
    “Il
    ikeyouf orthat.BeforehubbyandIgot
    mar r
    ied,weusedt oplaythatgamesowel l
    ,
    mov i
    ngar oundi ncir
    cles.Imethi m andloved
    him butatsomepoi ntIwasf edup, t
    hatman
    couldcheatf ordays.Iusedt of i
    ght.
    ”They
    l
    aughed.“ Eazi,Iwouldbeatt hisonewomanhe
    keptgoingbackf or
    ,tomakemat t
    erswor se,he
    neverusedacondom.Nev erandhegother
    pregnantsamet i
    meIwaspr egnant .Shegav e
    birt
    htoherchi l
    dandIl ostmi ne, becauseofhi m.
    Iforgav ethatthinkingIcoul dgoonwi t
    ht he
    weddi ngandwhent heweddi ngdaycame, Il
    eft
    him.Idi dn’tevengo.ThenIcamebacky ears
    l
    ater,wi thachild.Iwi llneverf orgetwhathedi d
    tome, IthoughtIwoul ddie.Idon’ tev enlike
    recall
    ingt hatnightatmyf arm, from t herehe
    wentandmar ri
    edhi sgi rl
    friendwhohehada
    chil
    dwi t
    h.Hemar riedheri nf rontofme.The
    humi l
    iationIfaced, onet woonet wo, guyandI
    arebackati tbutbehi ndev eryone’ sback.We
    pull
    edt heki dsinit,itwasamess.Hi swi fegot
    depressedt oapoi ntofki ll
    ingher selftogether
    withherson.Honest l
    ywehur tal otofpeopl e
    becauseofmov i
    ngi nci r
    cles.”
    “
    Iam donewi
    thAbe.
    ”
    “
    Youbet
    terbe.Any
    who,wewi
    l
    lmeett
    omor
    row
    r
    ight
    ?Dr
    esscodeisbl
    ack.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Byesweet
    y.”
    Shehungt
    henIl
    aughedal
    one.

    *
    **

    Meanwhi l
    eAbel ookedatOtengwhowas
    stari
    ngathim withthoseey
    esthatmadehim
    wonderjustwhot hismanwas.Somethi
    ng
    wasn’tri
    ghtabouthim andhecoul
    dfeeli
    t,
    thosetat
    toosconv i
    ncedhim ev
    enmore.He
    wouldprobablyabuseEazi.
    Hel
    ookedatMal
    col
    m wi
    thasmi
    l
    e.“
    Hey
    ,wher
    e
    i
    smama? ”
    “I
    nherbedr
    oom.CanIv
    isi
    tyousot
    hatwecan
    pl
    aythegame?”
    Ot
    engl
    aughed.“
    Ok,
    youwi
    l
    ltal
    ktoy
    ourmom.
    ”
    HeputonhiscapandlookedatAbeonelast
    t
    imeasifdari
    nghi
    mt henwalkedtoEazi
    ’
    s
    bedroom.Abel
    ookedathi
    m di
    sappeari
    nthe
    passage.
    “
    Heychamp,
    doest
    hismancomeev
    ery
    day
    ?”
    “
    No.
    ”
    “
    Youandmamagot
    ohi
    shouse?
    ”
    “
    Wewentonceonl
    y.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”

    *
    **

    Il
    ookedatOt
    engwal
    ki
    ngi
    nandsmi
    l
    edst
    ari
    ng
    athi
    m.
    "
    Hey
    …”
    Hegl
    aredatme.“
    What
    ’shedoi
    ngher
    e?”
    “
    Hei
    sher
    etoseeMal
    c.”
    “
    Didn’
    tyousayhewant
    ednot
    hingt
    odowi
    th
    hi
    m?”
    Istoodupandl ookedathi m.“ Ididbuthesay s
    hei ssor r
    y.Idon’
    twanttokeephi m awayfor
    onemi stakehemader egar dingMal c.Malchas
    bondedwi thhim,heisattachedt ohi m,he
    mightnotbeMal colm’sfatherbuthet ookthe
    fatherl
    yr olei
    nMal c’
    sli
    fet hemomentMoemedi
    decidedhewasdonewi t
    hhi sownson.Il eft
    them al onebecauseIwantnot hingtodowi th
    Abe. ”
    Ot
    engsmi
    l
    ed.“
    Ok.
    ”
    Il
    ookedatthet
    ime.“
    Letmetel
    lhimtogo,
    it’
    s
    ti
    meup.Itwasonl
    ymeantt
    obef or20
    minut
    es.
    ”
    Otengsatont
    hebedwhi
    leIwal
    kedout
    .Abe
    l
    ookedatme.“Ar
    eyouok?”
    “
    Yeah,
    why
    ?”
    “
    Hel
    ooksl
    i
    keat
    hug.
    ”
    “Whathelooksli
    kei
    snotyourbusi
    ness.You
    haveseenhim,nowit
    ’st
    imeforgoi
    ng.”
    “
    Isn’
    theyourcousi
    n?Youknowi
    t’
    sil
    l
    egal
    to
    marr
    yarelat
    iveri
    ght
    ?”
    “Otengisnotmycousin,andIknowOnt lamet
    si
    toldyouaboutmylif
    e.Keepdiscussi
    ngmewi th
    mysi st
    er.Iseei
    thel
    psyousleepbetterat
    night.
    ”
    “
    Eazi
    -“
    “
    Youneedtol
    eave.MalcandIhav
    etosl
    eep.
    Mal
    col
    m saygoodnight
    .”
    Iwentandopenedthedoort
    henhehugged
    Malcandwalkedpastmebutthenst
    oppedand
    l
    ookedatme.
    “
    Thi
    sguyl
    ooksl
    i
    keheabuses-
    “
    “
    Goodni
    ght
    .”
    Icl
    osedthedoorandwal
    kedbacki
    nsi
    det
    he
    houset
    henlookedatMal
    c.
    “
    Arey
    ouhappy
    ?”
    Hest
    oodupsmil
    ing.“
    Hesaidheisgoi
    ngt
    o
    t
    akemetoareal
    footbal
    lgame.
    ”
    “
    That
    ’sni
    ce.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ouf
    orl
    ett
    inghi
    m come.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    ewel
    come.
    ”
    Hey
    awned.
    “
    Ok,
    comeandsl
    eep.
    ”
    Itookhi
    mt obedt
    henfinal
    l
    ygotbackinmy
    bedroom wher
    eOtengwasbusyonhisphone.
    “
    Wher
    eisKy
    ra?
    ”
    “
    Wit
    hPenny
    .”
    Myphoner
    angt
    henIanswer
    ed.
    “
    HiSadi
    .”
    “
    Hey
    ,wasAbet
    her
    e?”
    “
    Yes,
    toseeMal
    col
    m.Ev
    ery
    thi
    ngok?
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    thanksby
    e.”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    IputmyphonedownthenOt
    engpul
    l
    edmet
    o
    si
    tonhisl
    ap,hi
    shandsonmythi
    gh.
    “Iam notsur ehowIf eel abouthim.Iknowhe
    hassi nceplayedani mpor tantroleinMalcolm’s
    l
    ifebutIam notcomf ortablewi thhim coming
    hereespeci al
    lynowi ngt hathei snotev en
    Mal colm’sfather.Thisguyi sj
    ustamanwhoi s
    attachedt oyoursonandIunder standMalcolm
    l
    ooksathi m ashi sfatherbutt hesi t
    uati
    on
    doesn’ tsi
    twel l
    wi t
    hme.Nextt hingy ouwil
    lbe
    say i
    ngt hi
    ngsl i
    key ouhav etogetbackwi thhim
    forthesakeoft hechi l
    d.”
    “Iknewitwoul
    duncomf ort
    ablethat’
    swhyIhad
    optedtocommuni cat
    ingwit
    hhi sgir
    lf
    riend
    i
    nsteadofhim andalsowantedhert obethere
    everyt
    imetoavoidmisunderst
    andings.You
    don’thavet
    owor r
    yabouthim, onceIleaveyouI
    nevercomeback.Iwil
    ltal
    kwithSadi
    thatshe
    betheonethatcoll
    ect
    sMal cwhenhehast o
    vi
    sitandal
    sobet heonetobri
    nghim back.
    ”
    “
    Thatcanwor
    k,Sadi
    ist
    hegi
    rl
    fr
    iend?
    ”
    “Yes.Iam sor
    ryformaki
    ngthi
    ngs
    uncomf or
    tabl
    eforyou,
    Iwonderwhaty
    ouwer
    e
    thi
    nkingwheny ousawAbe’
    scar.
    ”
    Hel
    aughed.“
    Don’
    tgot
    her
    e.”
    “
    Sor
    ry.Di
    dyoueat
    ?”
    “Yeah.Li
    edown,
    Iwantt
    oseewher
    eyouar
    e
    sayingIt
    ore.
    ”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Ngng.
    ”
    “
    Liedown.
    ”
    Heputmeont hebedandt ookmypyjama
    pantsandpant iesthenpar
    tedmypussylips.He
    sli
    ppedhisfingerbetweenmyf ol
    dsseparati
    ng
    them andlookedf orawhil
    e.Heburi
    edhishead
    betweenmyl egsandgent l
    yandslowlyl
    icked
    me.Imoanedsof tl
    yashecont inued, heslipped
    hist onguei nsi
    demewi tht hepadofhi sthumb
    gent lycircl
    ingaroundmycl it.Ithrewmyhead
    backwi thtoescur l
    ingfeelingmyor gasm
    appr oach.Hegotupandt ookof fhisclothes
    thenset tl
    edbetweenmyl egspul li
    ngoutmy
    pyjamat op.Heki ssedmepushi nghi mself
    i
    nsi det henhel ookedatmeasIpant edi n
    discomf ortandmadegent lel ovet omewhi l
    e
    whi speringsweetnot hingst ome.Icl osedmy
    eyesenj oyingeverygentlet hrustwhi lehe
    mov edhi swaisttappingal lri
    ghtcor ners.

    *
    **

    Sadi
    lookedatAbewalki
    ngi
    nasshesatont
    he
    bedthenshesmil
    ed.
    “
    HowwasTendai
    ?”
    “
    Hewasf
    ine,
    theki
    dsar
    eal
    readysl
    eepi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Het
    ookof
    fhi
    scl
    othest
    hengoti
    nbed.
    “
    Eazi
    justcal
    l
    ed,
    howwasMal
    c?”
    Abelookedather.“
    Andwhywoul
    dshecal
    lyou?
    Youcall
    edherdidn’
    tyou?
    ”
    “
    Whyar
    eyousodef
    ensi
    ve?Shecal
    l
    edme.
    ”
    “
    Ipassedbyseei
    ngMal
    c.”
    “
    Atni
    ght
    ?”
    “
    Imi
    ssedhi
    m.”
    “
    Ok,
    Tendaiwasher
    elooki
    ngforyou.Hesai
    d
    y
    oushoul
    dcall
    him.Goodni
    ght.
    ”
    Shecrawledonbedandlookedattheotherway
    cl
    osinghereyes.Abel
    ookedatherthensat
    upr
    iht.
    “
    Iwentt
    oseemyson.
    ”
    Shet
    urnedandl
    ookedathi
    m.“
    Idoubty
    oudi
    d,
    i
    t’
    sbeensi
    xmonthsandyounev
    ermadeany
    eff
    ortt
    ogoandseehi
    m.Youwantedt
    osee
    Eazi
    .”
    “
    Youar
    eseei
    ngt
    hingsnow.
    ”
    “
    No.Icanact
    ual
    lyseewhat ’
    sgoi
    ngon.You
    want
    edtoseeher,
    Ijustdon’
    tknowwhy.”
    “
    IwenttoseeMal
    c.Whydoy
    oual
    way
    sthi
    nkof
    t
    heworst?
    ”
    “Becauseyoudon’
    tgi
    vemer
    easonst
    othi
    nk
    posit
    ivel
    y.
    ”
    “
    Yoursi
    cknessmustbeget
    ti
    ngt
    oyou.
    ”
    Sadismiled.“Therewego, youbringingmy
    si
    cknessi nyetagain.Iam donebeggi ngy outo
    l
    ovemer i
    ghtAbe.Iam donechasi ngaf t
    eryour
    l
    ove,it
    ’sexhausting.Idomybestt omakey ou
    happy,topleasey oubutthenIguessi twill
    neverbeenoughbecauseIcannev erbeEaz i
    .
    Keeprunningaf t
    erherbutIwi l
    lnotbepar tofit.
    Ihavetri
    edmyal lit
    ’senough.Iam takingmy
    sonandIam goi
    ngbackwi t
    hhimtoKasane
    tomor
    row.Thi
    srelat
    ionshi
    pisbegi
    nni
    ngto
    dri
    vemecrazy.
    ”
    “Ar
    ey ouser
    iousri
    ghtnow?Youar
    eleav
    ing
    becauseIwenttoseemyson?”
    “Iam l
    eavingbecausey ouliedtome.Andy ou
    keeplyi
    ngt ome.Iknowy oulov eEazi
    and
    maybey ouwillnevergetov erher.Whatev
    erit
    maybe, Iam l
    eav i
    ngthetriangle.”
    Shecl
    osedhereyest
    henherphonevi
    brat
    ed
    ri
    ngi
    ng.Sher
    eachedfori
    tandanswer
    ed.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “I
    t’
    sKane.I
    shet
    her
    e?I
    fsosayy
    es,
    thi
    sis
    Sadi
    .”
    “
    Yes,
    thi
    sisSadi
    .”
    “Ok,It
    houghtIwouldheary
    ourvoi
    cebef
    ore
    youslept
    .Iwil
    lcal
    lyoutomorr
    ow.Say
    ,Iwil
    lget
    backatyou,t
    hankyou.”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lgetbackaty
    ou,
    thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Hehungupt
    henshecl
    osedherey
    essl
    eepi
    ng.

    *
    **

    Li
    nal
    ookedatt
    hedoct
    or.
    “Soyoucheatandy ouwanttogi
    vet
    hechi
    l
    d
    awaybefor
    ey ourhusbandfi
    ndsout
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Shetookoutaf rom andhandedi ttothedoctor
    .
    “Ihav
    edr aft
    edt his,Idon’
    twanttodo
    somethingthatmaycostmemycar eer.Thi
    s
    saysyouar emyhusbandandI ’
    ssurrogateand
    thatt
    hatchildismi ne.Ial
    readymadecal lsfor
    youtoregistert
    hatpr egnancybutundery our
    middleandmai denname.Thi si
    sf ormyown
    securi
    ty.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iunder
    stand.
    ”
    “
    Youcant
    akeal
    ookati
    tandsi
    gn.
    ”
    “
    Ok.Iwi
    l
    ldoi
    tnow.
    ”
    Shequi
    ckl
    ysi
    gnedandhandedherbackt
    he
    for
    ms.
    "
    Thanks,wewil
    lcall
    youwi
    thr
    egi
    ster
    y
    i
    nfor
    mationt
    omorrow.
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Li
    nasmil
    edastheygotupthent
    hedoctor
    wal
    kedaway.Shetookadeepbr
    ethandcall
    ed
    Tanonherwaytothecar
    .
    “
    Heybabe,
    soImett
    hel
    ady
    .”
    “
    And?
    ”
    “
    Shei
    sgoi
    ngt
    oregi
    stert
    hebabyt
    omor
    row.
    ”
    “
    Ihopethi
    sendswel
    l
    ,somet
    hingdoesn’
    tsi
    t
    wel
    lwit
    hme.”
    “Youar
    ejustner
    vous.Iwi
    l
    ltal
    ktoy
    ouwhenI
    gethome.
    ”
    Shehappi
    l
    ywal
    kedt
    ohercarsmi
    l
    ing.

    *
    **

    Tinost aredathi swifeasshesl eptwonder i


    ngif
    real
    lyhehadmadeagooddeci sion,may behe
    hadhur r
    iedher .Shet urnedinhersleepthenhe
    smiledconv i
    ncinghimsel f
    .Asy oungasshe
    was, shewasmat ure.Ofcauseshedi dhav ea
    fewf l
    awsbutshemadeagoodwi fe.Heputhis
    armsar oundherki ssi
    ngherneck.Hehooked
    herlegsl idingbet weenherwet nessy etagain
    withasl ightgr oan.Exhaust ed,
    Tsot l
    heburied
    herfaceont hepi l
    l
    owwaki ngupashebegun
    poundingi ntoher .

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    fe

    #91
    Ot
    engpar
    kedt
    hecaratt
    hecour
    tandl
    ookedat
    me.
    “
    Wantmet
    ogoi
    nsi
    dewi
    thy
    ou?
    ”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    Hesteppedoutwit
    hmethenwewalkedi
    nsi
    de
    andsett
    ledwher
    emylawyerwas.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    Myl
    awy
    ersmi
    l
    edatme.“
    Hi.Ready
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    HelookedatOtengandchuckl
    ed.“
    Iwi
    l
    lseey
    ou
    att
    heof f
    ice.
    ”
    "
    Ebi
    l
    ewankol
    ota.
    "
    Mylawyerl
    aughed."
    Owekawat
    soga.Iwi
    l
    l
    passby
    ."
    "
    Doyourt
    hing,
    whenIl eav
    ehereIwantt
    oleav
    e
    wi
    thmywoman, esengamarri
    edwoman."
    "
    Say
    sthesi
    de.
    "
    "
    Wany
    ela.
    "
    Theybot
    hlaughed,
    Icur
    iousl
    ylookedatmy
    l
    awyer.
    “
    Youknowhi
    m?”
    “
    Iknowev
    erybusi
    nessmanher
    e.”
    Li
    nawal kedin,herheelsechoingasshemade
    herwayt oherseat .Il
    ookedbehindher
    expectingtoseeAbebuthewasn’ tther
    e.
    Mi nut
    esl atert
    hej udgewalkedin, Il
    ookedat
    Linawhowashol dingherphone, sheputit
    downst ari
    ngatthej udgenowl ookingaround.
    “
    Whathappenswhenhedoesn’
    tshowup?
    ”
    “Wear
    egoi
    ngt
    odemandf
    ort
    heshowt
    ogo
    on.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    *
    **

    Tashasati nheroffi
    cestari
    ngattheloadof
    wor kshehadt odo,shedidalotofthingseven
    thosesheknewshewasn’ tsupposedt obe
    doing.Herphoner angfr
    om herhandbagt hen
    shel ookedaroundandanswer ed.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi,
    ist
    hisTashat
    aTaf
    ir
    a?”
    “
    Yes,
    it’
    sshe.
    ”
    “Yourecentlyappl
    i
    edforaj
    obatTsatsi
    Logi
    stics,youcancomeandcol
    lecty
    our
    contr
    act.”
    “
    Igott
    hej
    ob?
    ”
    “
    Yesma.
    ”
    “
    OhmyGod!Thanky
    ousomuch.
    ”
    “
    Ehmma.
    ”
    Shehungj
    ustasherbosswal
    kedi
    n.
    “
    Backony
    ourphoneagai
    n?”
    Tashastoodupwithasmileandt
    ookout
    resi
    gnati
    onlat
    ershehadbeenhavingfora
    whilei
    nherhandbagthenputi
    tont hetabl
    e.“
    I
    quitwi
    thimmediateef
    fect
    .Haveyourselfa
    goodday.”
    Tashaheldherhandbagandwal kedoutleavi
    ng
    herbosswor dl
    ess.Shewalkedoutandgoti n
    herwit
    hahugesmi l
    ethendr oveoff.Ofcause
    shewasgoi ngtosomewher eshewasn’ tsure
    howmuchshewoul dbeear ningbutshewas
    readyfori
    t.Awhilelat
    ershewal kedinsi
    de
    Tsatsi
    Logisti
    cs.
    “Hi
    ,mynamei
    sTashat
    aTaf
    ir
    a.Ihav
    ebeen
    cal
    l
    edtocomeandsi
    gnmycontr
    act
    .”
    “
    Got
    otheHR,
    oh,
    ther
    eisourHR.
    ”
    Shetur
    nedandlookedatt
    hemanwalking
    goi
    ngupthestai
    rstal
    ki
    ngonthephone.
    “
    Fol
    l
    owhi
    m.”
    “
    Ok,
    thanky
    ou.
    ”
    If
    oll
    owedaft
    erhi
    mthenf
    inal
    l
    yknockedont
    he
    sl
    i
    ghtdoor
    .
    “
    Yeah?
    ”
    Shewal
    kedi
    ntaki
    ngadeepbr
    eat
    h.
    “Goodmor ni
    ng,Iwasinst
    ruct
    edt
    ocomeand
    seeyou.Iam Tashat
    aTafira.
    ”
    “Oh,
    yeah.Youcansit.Mynamei
    sKat
    lego.I
    s
    Abesomehowr el
    atedtoyou?
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    hei
    smybr
    other
    .”
    Helaughed.“
    Isee,
    bytheway,y
    ourbrotheri
    s
    awesome.Playi
    ngforat
    eam sofarawaysays
    somethi
    ng.”
    “
    Hei
    s.”
    “
    Ok,
    backt
    obusi
    ness,
    her
    eisy
    ourcont
    ract
    .”
    Ir
    eachedf
    ori
    tthensmi
    l
    edr
    eadi
    ngt
    hrough.A
    goodlooki
    ngmansl i
    ghtlyopenedthedoorand
    l
    ookedatKatlego.HelookedatTashathen
    backatKatl
    ego.
    “
    Comeandseemeaf
    tert
    his.
    ”
    “
    Sur
    e.”
    “
    No,
    her
    .”
    Ipoi
    ntedmy
    sel
    f.“
    Me?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Themancl
    osedt
    hedoorandwal
    kedaway
    .
    “
    That
    ’st
    heboss,
    happywi
    thy
    ourcont
    ract
    ?”
    “Umm y es,whatdoy
    out
    hinkhewant
    sto
    discuss?”
    “
    Ourfi
    nanceguywasf
    ir
    edweeksback,
    youar
    e
    apr
    ett
    ymuchaneededassether
    e.”
    “
    Oh.
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    youhappy
    ?”
    “
    Thi
    sismysal
    ary
    ?”Shepoi
    ntedatt
    henumber
    s.
    “
    Yes.Notenough?
    ”
    “
    No,
    it’
    sfi
    ne.Iam j
    ustsur
    pri
    sed,
    it’
    sal
    otwow!
    ”
    “
    Signandgomeett
    heboss,
    hei
    sal
    i
    ttl
    e
    i
    mpati
    ent.
    ”
    Hehandedherapent
    henshequi
    ckl
    ysi
    gned.
    “
    Godownt
    hepassage,
    youwi
    l
    lseehi
    sof
    fi
    ce.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    thanky
    ouv
    erymuch.
    ”
    Shewalkedoutt
    akingouthervi
    brat
    ingphone
    thenl
    ookedatherprev
    iousboss’
    snumber.
    “
    HowcanIhel
    pyou?
    ”
    “
    Youj
    ustcan’
    tqui
    t.
    ”
    “
    Idi
    dandIam notcomi
    ngback.St
    opcal
    l
    ing
    me.
    ”
    Shehungupandblockedt
    henumberwal
    ki
    ng
    downthepassage.

    *
    **
    Atcourt
    ,Ismil
    edwalkingoutt
    henLinawal
    ked
    overasOtengansweredacall
    proceedi
    ngt
    o
    thecar
    .
    “
    Hi.
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Hey
    .Wher
    eishe?
    ”
    Sheshr
    ugged.“Idon’
    tknowbutIam gl
    adt
    he
    casepr
    oceeded.”
    “
    Met
    oo.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ryf
    orhowIspoket
    oyout
    heot
    her
    t
    ime.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok,
    Iwasn’
    tev
    enmad.
    ”
    “
    Thanks,
    bytheway
    , whatahunky
    ouhav
    eov
    er
    t
    her
    e.Hopef
    ull
    yheisworthi
    t.
    ”
    Iwalkedt
    othecarandt
    ookoutmyr
    ingi
    ng
    phone.
    “
    Sadi
    …”
    “Hi
    ,Iwant
    edt
    otel
    lyouAbeandIar
    ebr
    eaki
    ng
    up.
    ”
    “
    Aowmma,
    why
    ?”
    “Hesti
    ll
    lovesyou.Iam notgoi
    ngt
    obehi
    s
    secondbestanymore.
    ”
    “Yousoundl
    ikesomeonewhoi
    sget
    ti
    ng
    att
    enti
    onsomewhereelse.
    ”
    Sadi
    laughed.“
    No,
    Iam j
    ustchoosi
    ngmy
    sel
    f.
    ”
    “Pl
    easedon’ tdothat,hel
    ovesyou.It’
    sjustthat
    thedivorcehasprobablybeenstr
    essinghim out.
    Givehim achance, t
    hatmancangi veyout he
    bestloveoutthere.Bepati
    entwiththatman.
    Thereisprobablysomuchpr essureonhi m
    ri
    ghtnowandgapehei sali
    tt
    lebroken.Don’t
    l
    eav ehim.“
    “
    AhhnnammaIdon’
    tnow.
    ”
    “
    Justhol
    don.
    ”
    “
    Wewi
    l
    lsee.
    ”
    “Andnowheisof
    fi
    cial
    lyyour
    s.Tamet
    hatman,
    batl
    asekabamotsaya.”
    Sadil
    aughed.“Honest
    lyIlovehim but
    someti
    mesIf eelIam notappr
    eciatedbutl
    ets
    see,
    thedivor
    cehasbeenf i
    nal
    ized.
    ”
    “
    Okby
    e.”
    Ihungupget
    ti
    ngi
    nsi
    det
    hecar
    .Hesmi
    l
    ed.
    “
    Final
    l
    y.”
    Ilaughed.“
    Iam sorel
    i
    eved.Nowl
    ooki
    ng
    forwardtothet
    hir
    ddivor
    ce.”
    “I
    fy oumarr
    ymetherei
    snodivorce.Youare
    stuck.Oneoft
    het
    hingsyoushouldknow.”
    Ismil
    edki
    ssinghi
    m.“Iwon’
    tleav
    eify
    oudon’
    t
    giv
    emear easont
    o.”
    Myphoner
    angagai
    nthenIpi
    cked.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    HiEazi
    ,i
    t’
    sPul
    a,mymot
    heri
    snei
    gbour
    swi
    th
    y
    ourmot
    her
    .”
    “
    Ohhey
    ,howcanIhel
    pyou?
    ”
    “Mamaj ustcal
    ledme.Theyfoundy ourmot her
    hangingfrom t
    hetreeear
    li
    erontoday .Shewas
    takentothehospit
    albuti
    twasalreadyt oo
    l
    ate.”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “Yes.Iti
    redcall
    ingyoursist
    erbutshei
    snot
    picki
    ng.Ithinkyoushouldcome.AApar
    ent
    ly
    thereisalsoalett
    erlef
    tforyou.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    ouj
    oki
    ngr
    ightnow?
    ”
    “Iwi
    sh.Iam sendi
    ngy
    oumymot
    her
    ’snumber
    .
    Youcantal
    kt oher
    .By
    e.”
    Hehungthenatextr
    epor
    ted.It
    appedt
    hesent
    numbershaki
    ng.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    MmagwePul
    a,i
    t’
    sEazi
    .Pul
    ajustcal
    l
    ed.
    ”
    “Iam sosor
    rymydaught
    er.Shehadlong
    passedonbythet
    imewesawher .”
    “
    Ma…”
    “Youandyoursi
    sterneedt ocome.Ther
    ei sa
    l
    etterf
    orbot
    hofy ou.Ididn’
    topenthem andI
    am goi
    ngtoholdont othem ti
    ll
    youcome. ”
    At
    earr
    oll
    eddownmycheek.“
    Shei
    sdead?
    ”
    “
    Unf
    ort
    unatel
    y.Iknowt
    hisissadbuty
    ouneed
    t
    obestr
    ong.Comehome. ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Ihungupthenandcover
    edmyfacecry
    ing.
    Otengpul
    l
    edt hecaront
    hesi
    deoftheroadand
    huggedme.
    “
    Who’
    sdead?
    ”
    “
    Mama…”
    “
    Iam sor
    rybabe…”
    Isobbedl
    oudl
    ywet
    ti
    nghi
    st-
    shi
    rtwhi
    l
    ehe
    rubbedmyback.Myphoner
    angt
    henIpi
    cked
    snif
    fi
    ng.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Arey
    ouhappy
    ?”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Youhat
    edmama,
    youmustbesohappynow.
    ”
    “
    Ont
    lamet
    si-
    “
    “Youar
    ehappy,y
    ouhatedherandy
    ouhave
    beenwishi
    ngf
    orherdeat
    hforawhil
    enow.
    ”
    “
    Ont
    lawhatar
    eyousay
    ing?
    ”
    “Exact
    lythat
    ,youinsul
    tedher
    .Shedi
    edi
    npai
    n
    andallbecauseofyou.”
    “
    What
    ’swr
    ongwi
    thy
    ou?
    ”
    “
    Youshoul
    dber ej
    oici
    ng.Whaty
    ouwant
    ed
    f
    inal
    l
    yhappened.”
    “
    Ont
    lamet
    si…”
    “
    Behappy
    .Bev
    eryhappy
    .”
    Shehungup,Il
    ookedatmyphoneinshock.
    “Shesay
    sIshouldbehappyj
    owthatmamai s
    dead.
    ”
    “Don’
    tli
    stent
    oher.Whatdoyouwantt
    odo?
    Youwantt of
    lyt
    herer
    ightnow?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Ihav
    etogot
    her
    e.”
    “
    Letmemakeaf
    ewphonecal
    l
    s.”

    *
    **

    Linawalkedi
    nsideherphonetr
    yingt
    ocall
    Abe
    yetagai
    n.Shelookedatherphoneandcal
    led
    Tendai.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi,
    it’
    sLi
    na.Wher
    eisy
    ourbr
    other
    ?”
    “
    Aren’
    tyouwi
    thhi
    m?”
    “
    Hedi
    dn’
    tshowup!
    ”
    “
    Whathappenedt
    hen?
    ”
    “Theshowwenton,i
    fhethoughti
    twouldbe
    postponedhet
    houghtwr
    ong.Ididexpl
    aint
    hat
    tohim.”
    “Ir
    eall
    ydon’
    tknowwher
    ehei
    s.Letmet
    alkt
    o
    Sadi.
    ”
    “
    Dothatandwheny
    ougethol
    dofhi
    mtel
    lhi
    m
    t
    ocall
    me.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”

    *
    **

    Meanwhi
    leTendai
    puthi
    sphonei
    nhi
    spocket
    andl
    ookedatPhemel
    o.
    “
    Whatdi
    dyousay
    ?”
    “
    Iam abor
    ti
    ngt
    hebaby
    .”
    “
    Obat
    lagony
    elaaker
    e?”
    “
    Youl
    i
    edt
    ome.
    ”
    “Youarenotabor
    ti
    ngmybabybecausei
    fyou
    do,youshoul
    daborty
    our
    sel
    ftoo.
    ”
    “
    Doy
    ouknowwhoIam mar
    ri
    edt
    o?”
    “
    Idon’
    tcar
    e,y
    ouar
    enotabor
    ti
    ngmybaby
    .”
    “
    Iam goi
    ngt
    oloseev
    ery
    thi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Youwi
    l
    lhav
    eyourj
    ob.
    ”
    Tearsfil
    ledhereyes.“Youdon’tunder
    stand.He
    mightkil
    l y
    ou.Heist hebigshotguy.Ithi
    nka
    secretspyorsecretagent.Youwilldi
    eandno
    onewi l
    leverknowwhathappenedt oyou.Iam
    doingthistohel
    py ou,plusIl
    ovemyhusband. ”
    “Youarenotkill
    i
    ngmychil
    dPhemel o.Idon’
    t
    carewhathappens,Iwi
    l
    ldealwit
    hit.Givebi
    rth
    andgiv
    ehimt ome.Iwi
    llt
    akecareofhim.If
    youdoanythingtomychil
    dyouaregoi ngto
    regr
    eti
    t.Trustme.”
    Phemel
    olookedathi
    m wi
    thapoundi
    nghear
    t
    wonderi
    ngwhatki
    ndofmessshehadgot
    ten
    her
    selfi
    nto.
    .
    .
    Let
    'scommentandl
    i
    kef
    ami
    l
    y,y
    ourcomment
    s
    motiv
    ateme.
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #92

    AtSirSeretseKhamaAirpor
    t,Tsot
    lhet
    ooka
    facebookli
    v evi
    deoasshesteppedoutoft
    he
    carwithTino.
    “Higuys,sot hi
    sismegoi ngf ormyhoneymoon.
    Hubbyst i
    llhasn’
    ttoldmewher eheistaki
    ngme
    butIam exci t
    edyouguy s.”Shewav edherri
    ng
    ont hescreen.“Mrs.Taf
    iraisreadyforthe
    surpri
    se.Itfeel
    sgreatbeingawi fe,
    lenyal
    ole
    monat
    eguys!”Sheangl
    edhercamer
    asot
    hat
    Ti
    nowoul
    dshow.
    “
    Babe,
    sayhel
    l
    otot
    hepeeps!
    ”
    Ti
    nokissedhercheekthenl
    ookedatherphone
    l
    aughi
    ng.“Onl
    y50peopl ear
    ewatchi
    ngy ou,
    st
    opactingf
    amous. ”
    Tsotlhelaughed.“Heela!Iam f amous, t
    hey
    postedmeatYout hOfBot swanasay ingIam
    tooy oungt ogetmar ri
    ed.Iam t r
    endingsoI
    wantt hem toseeandr epostthisvi
    deo, ke
    nyetswebazel waneandIam happy .Myagei s
    noty ourconcernbutany who, keepont alki
    ng
    aboutme, makemef amous, nextti
    meIwi ll
    havemor ev i
    ewerswhi l
    ey ouarestill
    crying
    overmj olo.Iwon’tstoppost i
    ngbecausey ou
    feelannoy ed,getoffmyt i
    mel i
    ne.”
    I
    nsidet
    heair
    portTsotl
    hekeptonshootingher
    vi
    deoastheycheckedint
    il
    l t
    heywenttothe
    bor
    deri
    nggatewhereshefinall
    yst
    oppedthe
    videoandputherphoneaway .Minut
    eslater
    theywer ewalki
    ngtowar
    dstheplaneholding
    hands.Tsot l
    hetookapi
    ctur
    eofthem holding
    theirpassport
    sandpost
    edonherf acebook.

    *
    **

    Ginabakedhercakeli
    steni
    ngt
    osomeoldclass
    songs.Herphonerangasswit
    chedonheroven.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi,
    thisi
    sGet
    ty.Ior
    der
    edsomemuf
    fi
    nsf
    rom
    y
    ou.”
    “Ohyes,Ineedyouraddr
    esssot
    hatIcan
    del
    iv
    erthem. ”
    “
    No,
    act
    ual
    l
    ygi
    vemey
    our
    s.”
    “
    Ohok.
    ”
    “
    Youcansendi
    tbecauseIam dr
    ivi
    ngr
    ight
    now.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Ginahungupandi mmedi atel
    ysenthert he
    homeaddr essthencont i
    nuedwi t
    hwhatshe
    wasdoi ng.Awhi lelateracarhootedf r
    om t he
    gate.Shewi pedherhandswi thadishcloththen
    tooktheboxof100muf f
    insandwal kedout
    withthem.Twol adiessteppedoutoft heircar
    i
    nl ongstraightweav esandheels.Ginaf rowned
    stari
    ngatMy kel
    ’swi f
    ebutshest i
    llkepthercool.
    “
    Ladi
    es…”
    Mykel
    ’swif
    estaredather
    .“Tsal
    a,keene
    mosadimogoloonengarobalal
    eMy kel
    .
    (
    Fri
    end,thi
    sistheol
    dwomanwhowassl eepi
    ng
    wi
    thMy kel
    .)
    ”
    Theot
    herl
    adyl
    aughed.“
    Lies!
    ”
    “
    Iam t
    ell
    ingyou,hetoldmeshewasamai d
    whenshewasact ual
    lynot
    .Iam her
    ebecauseI
    wanty
    out oexpl
    aintomewhyy ouwere
    sl
    eepi
    ngwi
    thmyhusband.
    ”
    Gi
    nachuckl
    ed.“
    Ist
    hatwhyy
    ouar
    eher
    e.”
    “
    DoIl
    ookl
    i
    keIam pl
    ayi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Getoutofmyy
    ard.
    ”
    “Iam notgoinganywhere,Iam heretoteach
    youtonev ersl
    eepwithpeople’shusband’syou
    oldhag.Thisthi
    ngalsogotpr egnant
    ,My kel
    tol
    d
    meev eryt
    hing,wher
    eist hatchi
    ld?”
    “
    SoIguessy
    ouar
    enotbuy
    ingany
    thi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Iwon’tbuyy
    oushit
    tyscones,
    expl
    aint
    ome
    whyyouweresl
    eepi
    ngwi t
    hmyhusband.”
    Gi
    naturnedtowalkbacki
    nsi
    deherhousebut
    Mykel
    ’
    swi f
    egrabbedherandsl
    appedher.
    “Iam beat
    ingyouformyhusband.Wany
    ela
    tl
    hamma, Iam notl
    osi
    ngmyhusbandtoyour
    oldwrinkl
    edpussy.
    ”
    Thefr
    iendwal
    kedoverhol
    dingGi
    nasot
    hat
    Mykel
    ’swif
    ecanbeather.
    “Bobby!”Gi
    nascreamedt henahugepi tbul
    l
    barkedrushi
    ngov er,
    My kel
    ’
    swi fepaused
    stari
    ngatthebarkingdogwi thherheart
    pounding.Herf
    riendr ushedt othecar,
    Bobby
    barkedgetti
    ngclosert oMy kel’
    swifeasGina
    steppedbackbreathingheav il
    y.
    “
    Hey
    ,takey
    ourdog.
    ”
    “
    Bobby
    ,at
    tack!
    ”
    Mykel’
    swiferantothecarwithherheel
    sthen
    bobbygrabbedherlongdress,shet
    ri
    pped
    fal
    l
    ingasherwigfellexposi
    ngherbaldhead
    whil
    epeer anwetherdress.Shequi
    cklygotup
    l
    eavingherheel
    sbehindandgoti nt
    hecarwhile
    bobbypull
    edthedressteari
    ngit.
    “
    Dri
    ve!
    ”
    Thefri
    endstart
    edthecarshaki ngwithf
    earand
    rever
    sedthendroveaway .Bobbychasedaft
    er
    thecarthencamebackasGi nawalkedback
    i
    nsideherhouse.Shelaughedt ouchi
    ngher
    cheekst
    il
    li
    nshock.

    *
    **

    Ontl
    ametsif
    ini
    sheddr
    essi
    ngupasAkany
    ang
    st
    aredather.
    “
    Whydi
    dyout
    alkt
    oyoursi
    sterl
    i
    ket
    hat
    ?”
    “
    Likewhat
    ?”
    “
    Likethat
    .Thatwasrudeanduncal
    ledf
    or.Don’
    t
    y
    out hi
    nksheishur
    ti
    nglikeyouar
    e?”
    “
    Eazi
    isf
    ull
    ofpr
    etense.Youdon’
    tknowher
    .”
    “AsmuchasIdon’
    tknowher
    ,IcanseeIal
    so
    don’
    tknowyou.
    ”
    “
    Whatdoy
    oumean?
    ”
    Akany
    angshookhi
    shead.“
    Wow!
    ”
    “
    Whyareyouj
    udgingme?Eazihat
    edmy
    mot
    her
    !Ihopeshedoesn’
    tcomeatthef
    uner
    al.
    Sheshoul dbeoutt hererejoi
    cingwit
    hher
    cri
    mi nalboyfr
    iend.Forallweknowshemi ght
    havet oldherboyfri
    endtosendpeopl etomy
    mot her’
    shouse, ki
    llherandmakei tl
    ookli
    ke
    suicide.Ispoketomamat hedaybef or
    e
    yesterdayandshewasf ine.”
    “Peopl
    ewhoki ll
    t hemselvesdon’
    thav
    easign
    writ
    tenontheirforeheadsthatt
    heyaregoi
    ngt
    o
    commi tsui
    cide.
    ”
    “Iknewmymot her
    .Shei
    snott
    het
    ypet
    o
    commi tsui
    cide.
    ”
    “
    Wow!
    ”
    “
    Iam goi
    ng,
    Ineedt
    ost
    artpl
    anni
    ngt
    he
    f
    uner
    al.
    ”
    Shewalkedout
    ,Akany
    angshookhi
    sheadi
    n
    di
    sappoint
    ment.

    *
    **
    Thabi
    lewal kedinsideasupermar
    ketandpicked
    acoupleoft hi
    ngssheneeded.Shelookedat
    Tashafrom adist antwhowasputt
    ingthi
    ngsin
    atrol
    l
    eyt henwal kedoverwit
    hasmi l
    e.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    Tashat
    urnedandl
    ookedather
    .“Hi
    .”
    “
    Howhav
    eyoubeen?Longt
    ime.
    ”
    “
    Iknow,
    Ihav
    ebeengr
    eat
    .”
    “
    Youl
    ookf
    it
    .”
    Tashasmil
    edstari
    ngatherdiamondr
    ing.
    “Heal
    thyl
    i
    fe.Congrat
    ulat
    ions.
    ”
    “
    Thanks,
    wel
    lIwasj
    ustsay
    inghi
    .”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    Thabi
    l
    eturnedt
    owalkawaybutt
    henst
    opped.
    “HowisAbeandhi
    swife?
    ”
    “
    Oh?Theydi
    vor
    ced.
    ”
    “
    Why
    ?”
    “
    Acoupl
    eofi
    ssuesIguess.
    ”
    “Abemustbehurt
    .Hereall
    ylov
    edher
    .Eventhe
    nightwesl
    eptt
    ogether
    ,hewasthi
    nki
    ngabout
    her.”
    “
    Hehasmov
    edon.
    ”
    “
    Hehas?
    ”
    “Yes,
    hemovedonwaybefor
    ethedi
    vor
    cesoI
    guesshenev
    err
    eal
    lyl
    ovedEazi
    .”
    “
    Doesheev
    enl
    ovehi
    snewwoman?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Idoubt,
    thatki
    ndoflovehehadf ort
    hatwoman
    i
    snotthekindhewouldjustgetover
    .Thenew
    womanmustbear ebound.”
    “
    Iam j
    ustgl
    adEazi
    isgone.
    ”
    “
    Sti
    l
    lhat
    eher
    ?”
    “
    Ijustdi
    sli
    keher
    .”
    “Why?BecauseofMoemedi
    ?Shewast
    ryi
    ngt
    o
    hel
    pyou.”
    “Idon’
    tcare,
    Ijustdon’
    tli
    keherandIam gl
    adI
    nolongerhavetodealwithher
    .”
    “
    Wow,
    okby
    e.”
    Thabil
    eturnedandwal kedawayshaki ngher
    head,shepaidthenwal kedout.tohercarand
    drovehomet oherhusbandandki ds.She
    parkedhercarinfrontofherhouseandsi ghed
    thoughtf
    ull
    y.Sti
    ll
    todayshest i
    llhadn’tgotten
    overhowshewi shedf orEazi’
    sbabyt odie.She
    thoughtf
    ull
    ylookedatherphoneandsear ched
    Eazionfacebook.Shet appedthemessagei con
    andsentheramessaget henl
    oggedof fwalki
    ng
    i
    nsidethehousehol di
    ngpl ast
    icbags.

    *
    **
    I
    nKasane,Sadiwalkedi
    nsidet
    heemptyhouse
    l
    ooki
    ngaroundwithasmi l
    easthel
    andl
    ord
    f
    oll
    owedafterher
    .
    “
    Ilov
    eit
    ,it
    ’sonl
    ymeandmyson.
    ”
    “
    Theni
    t’
    sper
    fect
    .”
    “
    Yes,
    iti
    s.”
    “
    So?
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eit
    ,Iwi
    l
    lpayt
    hedeposi
    tandr
    ent
    .”
    “
    Ok,
    lov
    ely
    .”
    “
    Ehmma.
    ”
    Sadiwalkedoutwi t
    ht helandl
    ordsmi l
    i
    ngwhile
    shedepositedthemoneyt henshewalkedto
    thecabshehadcomewi thwonderingwhyshe
    didn’
    thaveacary et.Shecouldaffordasmall
    Hondaf i
    t,ormaybeaVi ts.Herphoner angt
    hen
    sheanswer ed.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hey
    …”
    Shesmil
    ed.“
    Youshoul
    dst
    opcal
    l
    ingme,
    Ihav
    e
    someone.
    ”
    “
    Justaboy
    rfr
    iend,
    not
    hinghect
    ic,
    ishewi
    th
    y
    ou?”
    “
    No.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    eishe?
    ”
    “
    InGabor
    one.
    ”
    “Iam i
    nKasane,
    hav
    eyouev
    erf
    lewt
    hrought
    he
    delt
    a?”
    “
    No.
    ”
    “
    Whynot
    ?”
    “
    Heel
    aKane,
    thoseact
    ivi
    ti
    esneedmoney
    .”
    “So?Somet
    imesyouhavet
    osacri
    fi
    ceforf
    un.
    Tojustl
    i
    veyourl
    i
    fe.Hav
    eyoueverskydi
    ved?
    ”
    “
    No.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iam i
    nKasane,
    youment
    ionedy
    ouhav
    ea
    son,canyoufindsomeonet oleav
    ehi m wit
    h?I
    am taki
    ngyouf orhel
    icopterri
    deov erthedel
    ta
    thenaft
    erthatwear egoingtoskydi ve.”
    “
    Kane…Ihav
    en’
    t-
    “
    “
    Youhav en’tdoneitbef
    ore,y
    ouar
    egoi
    ngt
    odo
    i
    t,bespontaneous.Foronce.
    ”
    Sadi
    tookadeepbr
    eat
    handl
    aughed.“
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Whoar
    eyougoi
    ngt
    oleav
    eyoursonwi
    th?
    ”
    “
    Myy
    oungersi
    ster
    .”
    “Ok,t
    henIwil
    lcomeandpi
    cky
    ouup.Send
    dir
    ecti
    ons.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hehungupthenshetookadeepbr
    eat
    hand
    cal
    l
    edheryoungersi
    ster
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Mash,Ineedsomeonet
    owat
    chov
    erAt
    sil
    e,
    j
    ustf
    ortoday.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    now?
    ”
    “Yes,
    canyoucomet
    omyhouseory
    ouar
    est
    il
    l
    atwork?
    ”
    “
    Ihadahal
    fdayt
    oday
    ,benef
    it
    sofbei
    ngan
    i
    nter
    n.”
    “
    Ok,
    youcome.
    ”
    “
    Giv
    eme30mi
    nut
    es.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”

    *
    **

    IwalkedtowardstheredJeepwhi chwas
    waiti
    ngformeatt heair
    portpar
    kinglot
    ,aman
    standi
    nginfrontofi
    tsmiledhandingmethe
    keys.
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok.
    ”
    Hewalkedawayt
    henIj
    umpedinsi
    de,st
    art
    ed
    t
    heengineanddr
    oveof
    fdi
    ali
    ngOntl
    ametsi.
    “
    Obat
    langEazi
    ?”
    “Idon’
    tknowwhaty ourpr
    oblem isbutIam
    comingther
    e,andIam notcomi ngtofi
    ghtwit
    h
    you.Iwantt
    oburrymymot heri
    npeace.Idon’
    t
    knowwhatthebitt
    ernessisaboutbutkeepit
    farfr
    om me.”
    “Youarecomi
    ngt
    obur
    ryt
    hewomany
    ou
    hated?
    ”
    “
    Iam comi
    ngt
    obur
    rymymot
    her
    .”
    Eazi
    hungupandanswer
    edani
    ncomi
    ngcal
    l
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    Hi
    sdeepv
    oucevibr
    atedt
    hroughthespeaker
    .
    “
    Babymama,hav
    ey ouar
    ri
    ved?”
    Ismil
    ed.“
    Yes,Ij
    ustspoketommagwePul
    e,
    peopl
    eareal
    readygather
    edathome.
    ”
    “
    Yougott
    his.
    ”
    “
    Yeah.Thanks.
    ”
    “
    Nost
    ress.
    ”
    “Thanky
    ouforagr
    eeingtost
    aywithMal
    ctoo.I
    knowhedoesn’
    texactl
    yli
    keyou-
    “
    “Hey,heisjustakid.Ki
    dsdon’tl
    ikeever
    yone.
    Buthelikesmygamesot hat
    ’ssomet hi
    ng.At
    l
    eastwecanpl ayt
    hegameandei t
    herway,Kyr
    a
    hasfoundabi gbrother
    .Heisteachingher
    soccer.
    ”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Heteachesev
    ery
    onet
    hat
    .Gogont
    le
    i
    sgoingtocome-“
    “
    Igotthi
    s,hewi
    ll
    sleepherewi
    thme,
    handl
    e
    t
    hatandletmehandlet
    his.
    ”
    Isi
    ghed.“
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou,
    cal
    lwheny
    ouneedme.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    Hechukl
    ed.“
    Sur
    e.”
    Ihungupstari
    ngattheroadaheadt
    hen
    steppedmoreontheacceler
    ator
    .

    *
    **

    Justaf
    terdusk,
    Abepar
    kedhi
    scaranswer
    ing
    hi
    sphone.
    “
    Yeah?
    ”
    Li
    nasi
    ghed.“
    Wher
    etheheckwer
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Icanexpl
    ain.
    ?
    “
    Welldon’
    t!Thedi
    vor
    cewenton,
    youar
    eaf
    ree
    mannow.”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok.
    ”
    Shehungupthenhesteppedouthol
    ding
    fl
    owers.Hewal
    kedinsi
    dehishousesmil
    ing.
    “
    Babe!
    ”
    Sadi’
    ssi
    sterwalkedfrom t
    hekit
    chenholdi
    ng
    thei
    rsonwhilewearingteski
    mpiestdr
    esshe
    hadeverseen.“
    Hey …”
    “
    Hi,
    wher
    eisSadi
    ?”
    “Idon’
    tknow,amancameandt ookher.She
    saidsomethi
    ngaboutbei
    ngspontaneous.
    ”
    “
    Aman?Whatman?
    ”
    Sadi’
    ssist
    ershr
    ugged.“
    Idon’
    tknowhi
    m butI
    thi
    nkhisnameisKane.”
    Abet
    ookouthi
    sphonedi
    ali
    nghernumber
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Iwentout
    .”
    “
    Outwher
    e,Iam home.
    ”
    “
    Wit
    haf
    ri
    end.Seey
    out
    omor
    row.
    ”
    “
    Sadi
    comebackhomenow.
    ”
    “
    Iam f
    araway
    .Iwi
    l
    lseey
    out
    omor
    row.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    oucheat
    ingon?
    ”
    Shehungthenhet
    ruedcal
    l
    ingherbackbuther
    phonewasnowoff.
    .
    Fami l
    ypl easecommentoni nserts,wear equit
    e
    alot,leaveacommentaf tery ouread.I'
    m not
    askingf ortoomuch, Ishouldn'tbetal
    kingabout
    thi
    s.Thei nser
    treachesov er1kl ikeeinanhour ,
    l
    etsi mpr ove.Moret han6000peopl eseet he
    i
    nser t
    , only2500likef r
    om thatandl essthan
    100comment .Let'simprove.Yourpar ti
    cipat
    ion
    onthisi nsertwil
    ldet er
    minei fwear egetti
    ng
    ournighti nser
    t,Iam notgoi ngt owrit
    ef or
    sil
    entpeopl e.
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe
    #93

    Abelookedathi
    sphonei
    ndi
    sbel
    i
    eft
    henl
    ooked
    att
    hesister
    .
    “Soshenev
    ersai
    dany
    thi
    ngaboutwher
    eshei
    s
    going?
    ”
    “
    No.
    ”
    “
    Howdi
    dthi
    smanl
    ookl
    i
    ke?
    ”
    “
    Idi
    dn’
    tsee,
    hewasdr
    ivi
    ngabl
    ackcart
    hough.
    ”
    Abeangril
    ywal kedtothebedroom calli
    ngher
    againbutitst
    il
    l woul
    dn’tgothrough.Helooked
    atthedoorasSadi ’
    ssistersof
    tlyknockedon
    thedoorthenshewal kedin.
    “
    Thebabyi
    ssl
    eepi
    ng,
    shoul
    dImakesomet
    hing
    f
    oryou?
    ”
    “
    No.Thanks.
    ”
    “
    Youneedt
    oeat
    .Sadi
    askedmet
    olookaf
    ter
    thebabyandt
    hehousei
    nherabsence,
    youar
    e
    partofi
    t.
    ”
    “
    What
    ’sy
    ournameagai
    n?”
    “
    Masego.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    howl
    onghav
    eyoubeenher
    e?”
    “
    Her
    ewher
    e?I
    nthi
    shouse?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Icameintodayaf
    ewmi
    nut
    esbef
    oret
    heman
    pickedherup.
    ”
    “
    Ok.Iam nothungr
    y,y
    oucanmakesomet
    hing
    f
    oryour
    self
    .”
    “
    Ok,
    byt
    heway
    ,Iam l
    ooki
    ngf
    oraj
    ob.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lkeepy
    oui
    nmi
    nd.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ousomuch.
    ”
    SheoutasAbel ookedathert
    hehetur
    nedback
    tohisphone.Masegowalkedbacki
    nsi
    dethen
    closedt
    hedoor.
    “Iam sorr
    yaboutwhatSadiisdoing.Youhave
    beentreati
    ngherni
    celyIdon’
    tknowwher eshe
    getthegutstogoaroundwithothermen.”
    “
    Iwi
    ldeal
    wit
    hitbutt
    hanksf
    ory
    ourconcer
    n,”
    Shewalkedoverthent
    ouchedhi
    sdickwitha
    naught
    ysmile.“
    Letmemakey oufeelbet
    ter
    ,
    shedoesn’
    thavetoknow.”
    “
    Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ng?Sadi
    isy
    oursi
    ster
    .”
    Shegentl
    ymassageditthr
    oughhispants.“She
    doesn’
    thavetoknow,
    y ouarestr
    essed,
    y ou
    needtorel
    easesomeenergy.”
    Abepushedherhandfrom hi
    sharddickt
    hen
    stoodup.“
    Getout.Thi
    sisnotwhatshesent
    youtobedoing.
    ”
    Mashsmi
    l
    ed.“
    It’
    sok,buty
    ouknowwher
    eto
    f
    indmewhenyouneedme.”
    Abewatchedheri
    ndisbeli
    efasshewalkedout
    .
    Helookedathi
    sdicktr
    yingSadi
    ’snumberagai
    n
    butsti
    l
    l t
    herewasnothing.Heknewwhoev eri
    t
    was,hewaspr obabl
    ytakingadvantageofher
    .
    Hurtovert
    ooktheangerashet houghtof
    someoneont opofher,makinglovetoher.

    *
    **

    Sadi l
    ookedupf rom t
    hetopf l
    oorinahot eland
    smiledast hecoldwindbrushedhersof t
    lywhil
    e
    shehel dherwineglassi
    nhandput t
    ingona
    hotelrob.Kanewalkedoutoft hebathroom
    wit
    hat owelaroundhiswaistdri
    ppingwet .
    “
    Hey
    ,yougood?
    ”
    Sadit
    urnedandlookedathiswel
    lbuil
    tbody
    .He
    waswellbui
    ltshewonderedwhatexactl
    yhedi
    d
    foral
    ivi
    ng.“
    Yes.”
    Hepickedhi
    sglassofwineandjoi
    nedher.They
    bot
    hlookedoutrel
    axi
    ng.“Thi
    sisbeaut
    if
    ul.”
    Shesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Iti
    s.Thanky
    ouf
    orbr
    ingi
    ngme.
    ”
    “
    Howl
    onghav
    eyoubeenwi
    thhi
    m?”
    “
    Ayearandacoupl
    eofmont
    hs.
    ”
    “
    Obviouslysomet
    hingi
    swrongwi
    tht
    he
    r
    elat
    ionship,
    what
    ’sgoi
    ngon?”
    “
    Idon’
    tthi
    nkhel
    ovesme,
    hel
    oveshi
    sexwi
    fe.
    ”
    “
    Howsur
    ear
    eyou?
    “Whenwef i
    rstmethedi dn’
    tt ellmehewas
    mar r
    ied,
    het oldmet womont hsbef or
    eImet
    hiswifeandIwasal readypr egnant.Het oldme
    thatthei
    rmar ri
    agewasont her ocksandt hey
    weredonef or,theywereget ti
    ngadi vorce.He
    sentherdivorcepapaersandt hat’
    swhenhi s
    wifecame.Itseemedl i
    kesheknewexact l
    y
    wher ehestayedandt hatshehadv ist
    edbef ore
    thoughhehadt oldmeshehadnev ervi
    sited
    him andthattheyhadnotseeneachot herina
    year.Shedidn’tfi
    ghtwithme, hecameandt hey
    tal
    ked.Sheleftthenthef ol
    l
    owi ngdayhewent
    toGabs.Ifoundoutf rom hi
    smotherthathe
    wast r
    yingtofi
    xhismar ri
    agebuthedeni edit
    andassuredmeot herwi
    se.Theexsignedt he
    div
    orcepapers,shehonest l
    yseemsov erthe
    rel
    ati
    onshipbecauseshehasmov edonbuthe
    i
    sst i
    l
    lonhercase.Hewentt oseeherandt ol
    d
    mehewasgoi ngt oseehisbrot
    her.I
    nov erall
    ,I
    havealwaysfeltl
    ikesecondbest,l
    ikeIam ina
    compet i
    ti
    onwithher .
    ”
    “
    Youst i
    llwantt
    osayi
    nthatki
    ndof
    r
    elat
    ionship?
    ”
    Sadi si
    ppedherwi ne.“
    Ilovehi m butt hi
    s
    relati
    onshipisdri
    v i
    ngmei nsane.Byt heway ,
    bef or
    ewegof ar
    , Ihaveschi zophrenia,ever
    sinceIwasdi agnosedwi t
    hi t,Ihavenev erhad
    anyepi sodesbecauseIal way sdr i
    nkmypi l
    ls
    andIgotf orevaluationfrom timet ot i
    meagai n.
    Icanpr ovideyouwi thmymedi calr
    epor t
    s.”
    Kanesmi
    l
    ed.“
    That
    ’sok.
    ”
    “Ar
    ey ousur
    e?Tomor
    rowwhenyouwant
    nothingtodowit
    hmey ouar
    egoi
    ngtouset
    hat
    againstme.”
    Kanet ookboththei
    rwi neglassesandpl aced
    them down, hehel
    dhersof thandsst ar
    ingat
    herface,shehadsmal lli
    keChi neseeyesthat
    madeherl ookunique.Shehadacapt ivati
    ng
    face,notthemostattracti
    vebutt hemost
    subtl
    ebeaut yheseemedt ol ove.
    “
    Iam notgoi
    ngt
    osayt
    hat
    .Ipr
    omi
    se.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    what
    ’sy
    ourst
    ory
    ?”
    “
    Ibr
    okeupwit
    hmyexmont
    hsbackandi
    t’
    s
    t
    imetomov
    eon.”
    “
    Ok.Byt
    heway
    ,whatdoy
    oudo?
    ”
    “
    Iam api
    l
    ot.
    ”
    “Iseenow,isthatwhyy
    oumanagedt
    ogett
    hat
    heli
    copterr
    ide.
    ”
    Kanel
    aughed.“
    Ihav
    econnect
    ions.
    ”
    “
    Todaywast
    hebestdayofmyl
    i
    fe.
    ”
    “
    Youcanhav
    emor
    eday
    sli
    ket
    his.
    ”
    Heleanedoverandkissedhersof tl
    y.Theki
    ss
    i
    ntensi
    fi
    edast heybothbreathedheav i
    l
    y.He
    sl
    owlyunti
    edherr obthentouchedhernaked
    ski
    n.Hegentlytouchedherbr east
    .
    “
    Arey
    oubr
    eastf
    eedi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    No.
    ”
    Hesqueezedherbr eastkissi
    ngherharder.Hi
    s
    handglideddownherst omachandt ouchedher
    pussy.Sadiclosedherey esashef l
    i
    ckedher
    cl
    it.St
    andingbyt hebalcony ,
    hel
    ethistowel
    droptothefloorthenhookedherl egonhisarm
    andgent l
    y#remov ed.

    *
    **

    Lat
    ert
    hatev
    eni
    ng,
    Otenghel
    pedKy
    rai
    nbed.
    Shesmil
    edst
    ari
    ngathi
    m maki
    nghi
    m smi
    l
    e
    back.
    “
    Sleep.
    ”
    “
    Iam notsl
    eepy
    .”
    “
    Iknowbuti
    t’
    sti
    met
    osl
    eep.
    ”
    “
    Iwanti
    cecr
    eam.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    lgi
    vey
    out
    omor
    row.
    ”
    “
    Tomor
    row.
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    sleep.
    ”
    “
    Iwantt
    owat
    chcar
    toon.
    ”
    “
    Pri
    ncess,y
    ouwillwat
    chtomorr
    ow.Ipr
    omi
    se,
    y
    ouwillwatchTv
    .Ilov
    eyou.”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    Hecov eredherwit
    haduvetassheslowl
    y
    cl
    osedherey es.Wit
    hasighhewalkedoutt
    o
    hi
    sbedr oom whereMal
    colm wasl
    ayingonhi
    s
    bedreadyt osl
    eep.
    “
    Ok,
    readyf
    orbedbuddy
    ?”
    “
    Iwantt
    ospeakt
    omama.
    ”
    “Yeah,ofcause.
    ”Hetookouthi
    sphoneand
    dial
    edEazi.Thephonerangf
    orawhil
    ethenshe
    fi
    nall
    ypicked.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Hey
    ,Mal
    cwant
    stot
    alkt
    oyou.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Yougood?
    ”
    “
    Yeah,
    letmet
    alkt
    ohi
    m.”
    Hehandedhi
    mthephone.“
    Mama?
    ”
    “
    Hey
    y…Imi
    ssy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Met
    oo.
    ”
    “Iam sort
    ingsomethi
    ngout,
    Iwil
    lcomeback,I
    am sorryforj
    ustl
    eavi
    ngyou.Ar
    ey ouhav
    ing
    fun?”
    “
    Yes,
    Ipl
    ayedmyf
    avor
    it
    egameandIt
    aught
    Ky
    rahowt
    opl
    ayf
    oot
    bal
    l
    .”
    “That
    ’sgr
    eat
    ,don’
    tfor
    getshei
    sagir
    landyou
    havetobegent
    lewit
    hherorshewi
    l
    lgethurt
    .”
    “
    Ok.Shedoesn’
    tcr
    y.”
    “
    Okay
    ,beagoodboyt
    il
    lIcomebackok?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Met
    oo.
    ”
    Mal
    col
    m st
    ret
    chedt
    hephonet
    oOt
    eng.
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lyouback.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hehungupandl
    ookedatMal
    c.“
    Ok,
    readyt
    o
    sl
    eep?
    ”
    “Yes,t
    hisbedi
    shuge,
    ever
    ythi
    ngofy
    our
    sis
    big.
    ”
    Otengl
    aughed.“
    Biggeri
    sbet
    ter
    .Wi
    l
    lyoube
    ok?”
    “
    Yes.Iam abi
    gboy
    .”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hefi
    xedhi
    mthenwalkedoutwi
    thapil
    lowand
    aduvet
    .Hi
    sphoner
    angashedialedEazi
    .
    “
    Rebaone…”
    “
    Thepol
    i
    cecamet
    otakemet
    oday
    .”
    “Iam st
    il
    lgoingtodeal
    withyou,y
    oul
    etyour
    l
    itt
    leboyfr
    iendlayhi
    shandsonmydaughter
    .It
    seemsy oudon’tknowme.Youmustbetaki
    ng
    mysilenceforsomethi
    ngelse.
    ”
    “Iam t
    heonewhobeather
    ,shebr
    okemyv
    ase
    anddestr
    oyedmyfl
    owers.
    ”
    “
    Shedoesn’
    tli
    e.”
    “
    May
    beshei
    sconf
    used.
    ”
    “Areyoutryi
    ngtodefendhim?Iam goingto
    dealwithyouandyourboy f
    ri
    end,nkar
    eo
    ntwaelathat
    aRebaone.Igiveyoumychildand
    yougivehertoyourboyfr
    iendsothatheabuses
    herthent r
    yt oprot
    ecthi m ontopofthat
    .Be
    readyformet omorrow.Ket il
    egolegata
    melala.IthoughtyouandIhadan
    understandingbutIseei tdidn’
    tgett
    hrough
    yourhead.Youandy ourboyfri
    endar
    egoingto
    explai
    nt omewhyy out hinkyoucanbeatmy
    chil
    d.”
    Hedr
    oppedt
    hecal
    landdi
    aledEazi
    .

    *
    **

    Il
    ookedatOntl
    ametsi
    standi
    nginf
    rontofme
    whil
    eouruncl
    esandauntssat
    .
    “Shehatedmamat hi
    sone,sheinsul
    tedher
    becauseshefoundoutsheisnotaModise.
    ”
    Someofthei
    runcl
    esandauntsgaspedhear
    ing
    i
    tfort
    hefi
    rstt
    ime.Theel
    destuncl
    estoodup
    st
    ari
    ngatOntl
    ametsi
    .
    “Weknowbutwer aisedherasone,
    lovedher
    l
    ikeone.Idon’
    tseethedif
    fer
    encebetweenyou
    andyoursist
    erOntl
    ametsi
    .”
    “IdobecauseEazi ratheri
    nsult
    edmymot her
    i
    nst eadofappr eci
    atingherthatshedidn’
    tthi
    nk
    toabor ther.Nowt hatsheisdatingherreal
    father’
    sy oungerbrother’
    sson,shethinkssheis
    allthat
    .”
    “
    Shei
    swhat
    ?”
    “
    Otengi
    snotmycousi
    n.”
    “Heisbutyouar edenyingit
    .Mamat ol
    dyout
    he
    nameofourf atherandy ouchoset
    oconti
    nue
    dat
    ingyourcriminalcousin.
    ”
    MmagweEazi ’ssisterstoodupandsadl y
    l
    ookedatOnt l
    amet si.“
    Atat i
    mel i
    kethi
    sy ouare
    choosingt ohateyoursisterfornoreal
    reason.
    Dor castoldmewhathappenedandIdon’ t
    blamet hischi
    ldforwhatshemi ghthavesaid.
    Dircasli
    edt oher,Rantuangisnotherfather.I
    knowherf at her,hewasacol oredandhi sname
    wasLeonar dMackenzi e.Hi sf atherwaswhi t
    e
    andhi smot herwasamai d, t
    henaf terhewas
    bor n,thi
    smai dasIhear dr anf rom homeand
    raisedLeonar dwi thhernewhusband.Leonar d
    metDor cast woy earsafterget t
    ingmar riedto
    hist henwi f
    e.Theyusedt ost ayi nMaun,
    Dor cast oldmeaboutt hi
    scol oredman, she
    sleotwi thhi m acoupl eoft i
    mest henhemov ed
    toGhanzi andset tl
    edther e.Dor casnev erhear d
    from hi m ev eragai nbutshewasst il
    lsleeping
    wi t
    hRant uang.Thebabycameouty ell
    owl i
    ke
    this,Dor cashadal waysbeeni ndeni alandsai d
    herchi ldwasn’ tLeonar d’sbutshei s.”Theaunt
    l
    ookedatme.“ Eaz imydaught er,yourf atheris
    ther eormay benotbuthehadadaught erwho
    yourmot herknewandIt hi nkhernamewas
    uh…shehasanEngl ishname.Isawheri nthe
    newspaper .Theynowcal l herdr agonl ady .Her
    namei sSel inabuti nthenewspapert heysai d
    Lina.That ’
    sy oursister
    .Dor casknowi nglyl i
    ed
    toy ouandy ougotangr yl i
    keanyot herhuman
    beingoutt her e.Ont l
    amet si thi
    si snoty ou,
    what evercloudt hatismaki ngy ouhat eyour
    sister,l
    etitgomydaught erbef or eitdest roys
    you!Whyhat ey oursisterliket his?”Theaunt
    shookherwi tht earsrunni nghercheeks.“ Why?!
    Youhav ealway sstoodwi thher ,whathas
    changed?Don’ tdot hi
    s, shei sall youhav e,al
    l
    thesepeopl eher ewi l
    lnev erlov ey oulikeshe
    does!What ’
    swr ongwi thy ou?St andt oget her,
    beauni ty
    !Wher eismyOnt l
    a,thel ovingst ri
    ct
    daught erIknow, thedaught erwhost andsher
    ground, wher eisshe?Sheput shersi st erfir
    st,
    youhav ealway sputherf irst,whathappened
    today ?Huh? ”
    Ont
    lamet
    sil
    ookeddowncr
    ying.
    “
    Shei
    syoursi
    ster
    !”
    Iputmyhandsonmyf
    aceandbr
    okedown
    cry
    ing.
    .
    Let'
    skeepcomment i
    ngandl
    iki
    nginser
    ts,
    we
    shouldn'
    tbebeggi
    ngeachot
    herli
    kethi
    s.
    Morning.
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfWi
    fe

    #94

    Ontl
    ametsiwal
    kedoutt
    henaunt
    ypul
    l
    edmei
    n
    forahug.
    “
    Don’tcry
    ,it
    ’snotyourfaul
    t.Iwi
    llper
    sonal
    ly
    t
    akey outoyourfat
    herifyouarenolonger
    wel
    comet otheModi se.
    ”
    Oureldestuncl
    eshookhishead.“
    Thi
    schi
    l
    dis
    ourchil
    d,weraisedherl
    i
    keoneandshewil
    l
    for
    everbeone.Eveni fsheget stoknowabout
    herfat
    her’
    sfamil
    y,wewi llr
    emai nherfamil
    ytoo.
    Eazimydaughter,wecar eabouty oubothand
    weshallst
    andwi t
    hy ouatat i
    mel i
    kethi
    s.Now
    l
    et’
    sproceedplanningthef uneral
    .”
    “Ontl
    aandIl ongputheronafuneralcov
    er
    poli
    cy,Ontl
    ahascalimeditandi
    t'sboundtopay
    offwit
    hin48hours.Wewi l
    lusethatmoneyto
    geteveryt
    hingneeded.
    ”
    Aunt
    ynodded.“Yes,
    andweshoul
    dal
    sogi
    ve
    ti
    meforev
    eryonetoarr
    ive.
    ”
    Theuncl
    enodded.“
    Ok,butt
    hef
    uner
    ali
    son
    Sat
    urdaysot
    heyshoul
    dcomeonSatur
    day
    .”
    Thefamil
    yagreedastheywentthr
    ought
    he
    fi
    nerdet
    ail
    s.Awhil
    elaterIwal
    kedoutwi
    th
    aunty
    .
    “
    Arey
    ousl
    eepi
    ngher
    e?”
    “No,Iam goingtosleepatthelodge.
    Ontl
    amest i
    wi l
    lremain.Idon’
    twanttomakeher
    uncomf
    ort
    abl
    e.”
    “
    Ok,
    youar
    egl
    owi
    ng.Whatdi
    dyoudo?
    ”
    “
    Ma?
    ”
    “
    Whoi
    sit
    ?”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Noone.
    ”
    “
    Youdi
    dsomet
    hing,
    wewi
    l
    ltal
    kaf
    ter9mont
    hs.
    War
    ekemang?
    ”
    Il
    ookeddownbl
    ushi
    ng.
    “
    Don’
    tbeshy
    ,Ihopehemar
    ri
    esy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’st
    oosoon.Ij
    ustgotdi
    vor
    ced.
    ”
    “So?Letmet el
    lyousomet hing,donotbl ock
    yourownhappi nessforsill
    yr easons.
    Somet i
    meswebl ockourownhappi ness
    becausewecan’ tseem toacceptt hef actthat
    someonecanbehappygi vent heciur
    mst ances
    theyarefacedwi t
    h.Sowhati fyoujustgot
    divor
    cedort hatit
    ’syourseconddi vorce?Get
    mar r
    iedandbehappy .I
    fthiscriminalboywant s
    t
    omar
    ryy
    ou,
    don’
    tst
    ophi
    m.”
    Ismi
    l
    ednoddi
    ng.“
    Ehmma.
    ”
    “Good.Anddon’
    tli
    stent
    opeople,
    thoset
    hatar
    e
    tal
    ki
    ngabouthavenevergot
    tenmarri
    ed,
    not
    evenonceandtheyhavechi
    ldr
    enwithno
    fat
    hers.
    ”
    Webot
    hlaughed.“
    Thanky
    ouf
    ort
    ell
    i
    ngme.
    ”
    “
    Iwasal
    waysgoi
    ngt
    otel
    lyoubecausey
    ou
    mot
    herwoul
    dn’
    t.
    ”
    MmagwePul
    ewal
    kedov
    ert
    omesmi
    l
    ing.
    “
    Dumel
    ang.
    ”
    Auntysmi
    led.“
    Dumelang,Eazi
    ,seeyou
    tomorr
    ow.Iam goi
    ngtotalktoyoursi
    ster
    .’
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Shewalkedawayt
    henIsmi
    l
    edatMmagwePul
    e.
    “Ma…”
    “
    Howar
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lgett
    her
    e.”
    “
    Thisist
    hel
    ettery
    ourmot
    herl
    eftf
    ory
    ou.I
    t’
    s
    wri
    tt
    enEazi
    .”
    It
    ooki
    t.“
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    ewel
    come.
    ”
    Igotinmycarasshewal kedawayt hendr
    ove
    tothelodge.Icheckedi nandwal kedinmy
    room thensatont hebedhol dingmyphone.
    Withshakinghands, ItypedLinaMackenzi
    eand
    confi
    rmedmysuspi cions.Myphoner ang,
    I
    answer edsmil
    ingtakingoffmyshoes.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Heymama,
    arey
    ouok?
    ”
    “Yes,Ifoundmyr
    eal
    fat
    her
    .It
    ’sLi
    na’
    ssi
    ster
    .
    Abe’slawyer.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Iknow,
    Iam shocked.Thatwomanhasnev
    er
    l
    i
    kedme.”
    “
    Wantmet
    odoacr
    osscheck?
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    Leonar
    dMackenzi
    e.”
    “
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    llooki
    ntoi
    t.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Ever
    ythi
    ngel
    seok?
    ”
    “Ontl
    amet sihatesme,Idon’
    tknowwhatIdi
    dto
    her.Iam sleepi
    nginalodgetoni
    ghtt
    henIwil
    l
    fl
    ybackt heretomorr
    owandcomebackon
    Saturday
    .”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lsor
    touty
    ourt
    rav
    els.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ryIcan’
    tcomet
    oDubai
    wit
    h.”
    “
    Don’
    tbesor
    ry,
    Iam al
    socancel
    l
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Youdon’
    thav
    eto…”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lbet
    her
    e.”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.Ar
    etheki
    dssl
    eepi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Yes.It
    oldy
    ou,
    youdon’
    thav
    etowor
    ry.
    ”
    Ismil
    edlist
    eningtot
    hatdeeplazyvoi
    ce.“
    Iwas
    notworr
    iedy oucoul
    dn’
    tdoit
    ,justt
    hatMalccan
    beali
    ttl
    ehardheaded.”
    “
    Whatar
    eyousay
    ing,
    Eazi
    ?”
    “Ij
    ustt
    houghthav
    ingt
    wobul
    l
    sinonekr
    aal
    wil
    l
    bealit
    tl
    eprobl
    em.”
    Hel
    aughed.“
    Twobul
    l
    sinonekr
    aal
    huh?
    ”
    Il
    ayonthebed.“
    Myauntsay
    sIam al
    ready
    pr
    egnant
    .”
    “
    Idon’
    tshootbl
    anksEazi
    …”
    Icl
    osedmyey
    es.“
    Iam exci
    ted.
    ”
    “Soam Imama,
    soam I
    ,bar
    efoot
    edi
    nthe
    kit
    chen.
    ”
    Ichuckledreal
    i
    zinghowmyhear tal
    waysbeat
    sofastwhenev erIspoketohim,
    worsei
    nhis
    presence.“
    Yougoty ourcar?
    ”
    “
    YeahIdid.Iendedt
    hings,
    youdon’
    thav
    eto
    wor
    ryaboutthat.
    ”
    “
    Okay
    .It
    rusty
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Youshoul
    d.Whatar
    eyouwear
    ing?
    ”
    “
    Mydr
    ess,
    theoneIl
    eftput
    ti
    ngon.
    ”
    “
    Takei
    tof
    f.
    ”
    “
    Huh?
    ”
    “
    Takei
    tof
    fEazi
    .”
    Iwhi
    sper
    ed.“
    Iam gr
    iev
    ing.
    ”
    “So?Pleasureispar
    tofli
    fe.PlusIcan’t
    concentrat
    e,notaft
    erIhavetastedthatpussy
    .”
    “
    Youar
    edi
    rt
    ymi
    nded,
    Iam hangi
    ngup.
    ”
    “Don’
    tdothatEazi
    .Comeon,t
    akeitof
    f.
    Pret
    endIam ther
    e.Takeev
    ery
    thi
    ngoff.
    ”
    Igotupandundr
    essed.
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Lieont
    hebed,
    faceup.
    ”
    Igotbackont
    hebedandt
    ookadeepbr
    eat
    h
    wai
    ti
    ng.
    “
    Kyr
    a,Isai
    dsl
    eep.
    ”
    Ibur
    stoutl
    aughi
    ng.“
    Goputherbackt
    obed.
    ”
    “Iswear,
    shewassl
    eepi
    ng.Pr
    incess,
    goand
    sleep.
    ”
    “
    Goodni
    ght
    ….Babydaddy
    .”
    Ihungupandtri
    edt onotsmi
    lef
    eeli
    ngguil
    ty
    butthatsmi
    l
    ecamebackonmyf ace.Isl
    owly
    touchedmybreastclosi
    ngmyeyespict
    uri
    ng
    him.

    *
    **

    Thefollowingmor ni
    ng,Sadisl
    owl yopenedher
    eyesandmoanedsof t
    lywhil
    eKanesl idi
    nand
    outofherf rom t
    heback.Shest uckoutherbutt
    enjoy
    ingt hegentl
    ethrust,
    eacht hrustbr
    ingi
    ng
    hercloserandcloser.Shegrabbedt hesheets
    asheki ssedherneck,poundingi nt
    oherwhile
    thatpussybegantighteni
    ngar oundhim.Itf
    elt
    sogoodshemoanedl oudlyasherbody
    sti
    ffenedthenshereleased.Kanepoundedi nto
    heracoupl emoretimest henreleasedi
    na
    condom.
    “
    Youf
    eel
    sogood.
    ”
    Sadi
    smi
    l
    edbr
    eat
    hingheav
    il
    y.“
    Mor
    ning.
    ”
    Hesl
    i
    doutandtookof
    fthecondom.“
    Readyf
    or
    t
    oday
    ’sadv
    ent
    ure?”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    ewegoi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Doy
    ouhav
    eyoupasspor
    twt
    h?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Wear
    egoi
    ngbunj
    eej
    umpi
    ngatVi
    cfal
    l
    s.”
    Sadi
    laughedt
    urni
    ngt
    olookaathi
    m.“
    Real
    l
    y?”
    “Yeah,wewi
    llsl
    eept
    her
    etoni
    ghtandcome
    backtomorr
    ow.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Let
    ’sgot
    akeashower
    .”
    “
    Iam comi
    ng.
    ”
    Heki ssedherthengotoffbedandwal kedto
    thebat hr
    oom.Shereachedf orherphoneand
    switchediton.Mult
    iplemessagesreported
    thenshedi al
    edhersister
    ’snumber.
    “
    Mash,
    hey
    …”
    “
    Hi,
    wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ’
    “
    Somewher
    e,l
    ook,
    Iwon’
    tbebackt
    il
    ltomor
    row,
    wi
    ll
    youbeok?
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    don’
    twor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    IsAbet
    her
    eri
    ghtnow?
    ”
    “
    No,
    hej
    ustl
    eft
    .”
    “
    Ok,
    didhesayany
    thi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    No.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    thanks.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sf
    inesi
    s.”
    Shehungupthenhecal
    ledi
    mmediat
    ely
    .Sadi
    tookadeepbreat
    handanswer
    ed.
    “
    Abe…”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Iam t
    aki
    ngabr
    eak.
    ”
    “
    From what
    ?”
    “
    From you.Ineedabr
    eak.Iwi
    l
    lbeback
    t
    omorrow.”
    “
    Youar
    echeat
    ingar
    en’
    tyou?
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tcheat
    .”
    “
    Don’
    tbot
    hercomi
    ngbackt
    omyhouse.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “Whyarey
    oudoingthisbabe?Pl
    easecome
    backhome,l
    et’
    stal
    k.”
    “
    Iam onl
    ycomi
    ngbackt
    omor
    row.
    ”
    “
    Iknowy
    ouar
    ewi
    thaman.
    ”
    “Iam alonebutit’
    sokifyoudon’tbeli
    eveme.
    Thecabt hatpickedmeupdr oppedmeatt he
    air
    portandIflewaway .Ij
    ustneedabr eat
    her
    .
    May beinthemeant i
    mey oucant hi
    nkabout
    whaty ouwant.”
    “
    Acabpi
    ckedy
    ouup?
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    whoel
    sewoul
    dhav
    epi
    ckedmeup?
    ”
    “
    Iam wor
    ri
    ed.Wher
    ear
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Somewher
    e,Iwi
    l
    lbebackt
    omor
    row.Pl
    easel
    et
    mebe.
    ”
    Hesighed.“
    Iam sor
    ryforaccusi
    ngyou.IknowI
    hav
    en’tbeenact
    ingri
    ghtbutIlov
    eyou.”
    “
    Goodt hi
    ngy
    ouknowy
    ouhav
    en’
    tbeenact
    ing
    r
    ight
    .”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Atahot
    el,
    Iam comi
    ngbackt
    omor
    row.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.By
    e.”
    Sadihungupthenswit
    chedoffherphonet
    hen
    gotoffbedandjoi
    nedKane.

    *
    **

    Idr
    oveinsi
    demymother
    'syardandsteppedout
    asOntl
    ametsi
    wal
    kedover.Shesighed.
    “
    Hi.
    ”
    “
    Ont
    la.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ryabouthowIhav
    ebeenact
    ing.
    "
    “Whyhaveyoubeenacti
    ngthatway?Because
    foronceIam notdoi
    ngwhatyouwantmet o
    do?”
    “No.No,
    that
    ’snoti
    t.Ihav
    ebeenkeepi
    ng
    somethi
    ngfr
    om you.”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    IknowOt
    eng.
    ”
    “
    Ok.Youhav
    est
    art
    ed.
    ”
    “
    No,li
    sten.Iknowhi
    m per
    sonal
    l
    y.Iknewhi
    m
    waybeforeyou.”
    “
    Iknow,
    what
    ’snex
    t?Hei
    sbad?
    ”
    “Youdon’
    tunder
    stand.Iknowhimfr
    om way
    back.Hei
    stheguywhobr okemyv
    irgi
    nit
    y.”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “Yes.Idon’
    tthi
    nkheremembersmebecause
    hewaswayt oodr
    unkthatni
    ghtandwewere
    twogirl
    swithhim,wehadathreesome.
    ”
    “
    Backt
    henwheny
    ouwer
    ewhat
    ?18?
    ”
    “Yes.Hewast heone.Isl
    eptwithhi
    mt hefi
    rst
    nightinGabor
    onewhenIcamef orschool
    .It
    wassomeone' spart
    yandIthinkhewasaf ri
    end.
    Hesl eptwi
    thnumerousgirl
    sthatni
    ghtandI
    wasoneoft hem.”
    “
    Wow!
    ”
    “
    Nowyouunder
    standwhyyouneedt
    obr
    eakup
    wi
    thhi
    mri
    ght?Eazit
    hatman…he…”
    “
    Youl
    ovehi
    m?”
    “
    No,ofcausenotbutIjustnever
    …Idon’twhat
    t
    osay,wouldi
    tmakei tri
    ghtifev
    erIsl
    eptwith
    Moemedi?”
    “Moemedi wasmyboyfri
    end,notaonenight
    stand.Ot
    engdoesn’
    tevenremembery ou.You
    werethewhor ehef
    uckedthatni
    ghtwithother
    whorestoo.”
    “
    Itdoesn’
    tmatt
    er.Itdoesn’
    tmakesensethat
    y
    ouj umpint
    oarelati
    onshipwi
    thhi
    m afterIt
    ell
    y
    out hi
    s.”
    “
    Iam notbr
    eaki
    ngupwi
    thhi
    m,Il
    ovehi
    m.”
    “
    Youdon’
    tev
    enknowhi
    m.”
    “
    Iknowev
    ery
    thi
    ng.Youarejeal
    ousthatIhav
    e
    t
    hemanwhom youprobabl
    ynevergotover
    thoughIam j ustconf usedbecauset herewas
    neveranythi
    ngbet weeny out oo.Hedoesn’t
    remembery ourf ace,t oodr unktoremember
    seeingyou.Iam sor rybuthei snowmi neand
    forthi
    sone, Iam pul l
    ingoutev eryt
    hingIhavein
    meandIam goi ngtof ight.Iam notlett
    inghim
    go,Ihaveclaimedhi m andhei snotgoing
    anywhere.Iwoul dn’
    twantust obeenemi es
    becauseoft his,don’tpushme.Forhi m,Iam
    capableofany thing.St optryingme.”

    *
    **

    Ontl
    amestiwatchedEaziwalki
    ngaway ,
    she
    tookadeepbreathreal
    izi
    ngsomethingabout
    hersi
    sterhadchanged.Herphonerangthen
    sheanswered.
    “
    Babe…”
    “
    Ihav
    edeci
    dedt
    owal
    kawayf
    rom t
    his
    rel
    ationshi
    p.Idon’tt
    hinyouar etheri
    ghtf
    ul
    womanIam l ooki
    ngfor.Yourbehaviorhonest
    ly
    i
    sat urnoffandIjustcan’tbewi t
    hsomeone
    vil
    elikeyou,whatwill
    yout eachthekidsThat
    wet urnourbacksoneachot heratatimeof
    need?Idon’tthatsoIam leav i
    ng.Bye.
    ”
    “
    Wait,
    IknowIhavebeenoff
    ,butIam f
    ixi
    ng
    mysel
    f.IknowIam wr
    ong.
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tknow.
    ”
    “Pl
    ease,IknowIam wr
    ong,Iknowmymi st
    akes
    andIam fixi
    ngt
    hem.IguessItookoutmypain
    onher.
    ”
    “
    Ineedsomespace.
    ”
    Hehungup.

    *
    **

    Abehel
    dhi
    sphonedr
    ivi
    ng.
    “
    Sur
    eAbe…”
    “Boy,
    Ineedt
    ochecksomet
    hing,
    arey
    ouatt
    he
    air
    port
    ?”
    “
    Yeahwhy
    ?”
    “Ineedy
    outocheckifmywi
    fef
    lewoutof
    Kasaneyest
    erday
    .”
    “
    Yeahhol
    don,
    hername?
    ”
    “
    Sadi
    Kasenga.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    letmesee.
    ”
    Hehel
    dhi
    sphonewai
    ti
    ng.
    “
    No,
    Idon’
    tseehernameany
    wher
    e.”
    “
    Arey
    ousur
    e?”
    “
    Yeah.Orwai
    t…l
    etmechecksomet
    hing.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hewai
    tedabi
    tmor
    e.
    “
    What
    ’shernameagai
    n?”
    “
    Sadi
    Kasenge.
    ”
    “Yeah,
    Iseeherbutshei
    sar
    ound,
    shewaswi
    th
    KaneSeret
    she.
    ”
    “
    Who’
    sthat
    ?”
    “Bi
    gshotpi
    lot
    .Besti
    nthegame.Theywent
    overt
    othedel
    ta.
    ”
    “
    Fuck!CanIhav
    ehi
    snumber
    .”
    “Yeah,
    Iam notsupposedt
    obedoi
    ngt
    hisbut
    ok.”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    Hehungupwit
    hapoundi
    nghear
    tthenreci
    ved
    t
    henumberandcal
    l
    ed.Amananswered.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Wher
    eismygi
    rl
    fr
    iend?
    ”
    “
    Who’
    sthi
    s?”
    “
    Sadi
    ’
    sboy
    fri
    end.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    letmest
    artbycor
    rect
    ingy
    ou.Sadi
    ismi
    ne
    now,
    nol
    ongery
    our
    s.Ar
    ewecl
    earont
    hat
    ?”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #95

    Abechuckl
    ed.“
    Ont
    waetswakengnemonne?
    Waremosadiwameokae?”
    “
    Iam wi
    thher
    ,theonlyt
    imesheiscomi
    ngback
    i
    swhensheispicki
    nghercl
    othes.
    ”
    “
    Waney
    lat
    lhemonna,
    wher
    eismywoman?
    ”
    Sadi
    spokef
    rom t
    hebackgr
    ound.“
    Iam r
    eady
    .”
    “
    Ok,
    let
    ’sgo.
    ”
    Abebr
    eat
    hedheav
    il
    y.“
    Bri
    ngbackmywoman.
    ”
    “
    Youl
    osther
    .Har
    dy.
    ”
    Kanehungup,Abet
    ri
    edcal
    li
    nghi
    m backagain
    butt
    hephonewasnowoff.Hi
    sphonerangthen
    heanswered.
    “
    Otl
    i
    legony
    e-“
    “
    Abe,
    Ihav
    ebeenmeani
    ngt
    o…”
    “Shit
    ,Iam sor
    ry,
    Iam t
    hinki
    ngi
    t’
    ssomeone
    else.
    ”
    Takulaughed.“
    It
    ’sok,
    Ihav
    ebeenmeaningt
    o
    cal
    lyou.Yourdiv
    orcei
    snowfi
    nal
    ized.
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Howar
    eyouf
    eel
    i
    ng?
    ”
    Hesighed.“
    Shemov edon,
    shebr
    oughthernew
    boy
    friendwi
    thtocourt
    .”
    “
    Doy
    oust
    il
    ll
    oveher
    ?”
    “Ido.IloveEazi
    somuchbutIhav
    eacceptwhat
    Ican’tchangeandf
    ocusonwhatIhav
    e.”
    “That’sagoodi deabutthatdoesn’
    tmeany ou
    needt otreatwhatyouhav easyoursecond
    option.Iknowhowhar di tcanbebuttr
    ynotto
    treatthatgir
    lli
    keyoursecondoption.
    ”
    “Iwoul
    dn’
    tandIdon’tevent
    reatherl
    i
    kemy
    secondopt
    ionbutsheischeati
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Alr
    eady
    ?”
    “Yes,sheleftmei
    nGabor oneaccusingmeof
    sti
    llwanti
    ngEazujustbecauseIwentt osee
    Malcolmy etshei
    stheonewhoev enasked
    Eazitoletmeseehim.”
    “Iwanty out oli
    stentomewi t
    hanopenmi nd.
    YoumetMal candf ell
    inlovewithhim, noone
    candenyt hebondt hatyoushar ebuty our
    rel
    ationshipsaret ri
    cky.Sadimightbef inenow
    withitbuti ntheftureshewon’tholdt hesame
    senti
    ment s.Itwoul dhavebeendi f
    ferentifyou
    metMal cwhenhewasj ustababyt her ai
    sed
    him asy ourownbuty oumethi m whenhewas
    sobigandj usthappenedtohav eagood
    rel
    ati
    onshipwi t
    hhim.Youdon’ thavear eal
    ly
    dir
    ectconnectiontoMal c,t
    hereisabridgethat
    connectsyout ohim whichisEazi.Youwill
    nevermov eonf rom heraslongasy oukeepher
    i
    ny ourcir
    cle.
    ”
    “
    Sowhatshoul
    dIdo?Abandonhi
    m?”
    “Youneedt omakeachoi cebecausewhoev er
    youaregoingtobeseei ngwi ll
    alwaysbei na
    competi
    ti
    onwi thEazi .Youy oursel
    fwillnever
    mov eonfrom Eaz iandy ouwi l
    lkeephur t
    ing.
    Youneedt odistancey oursel ffr
    om herand
    anyt
    hingthathast odowi thheri nordertogi v
    e
    whoeveryouar ewithaf ai rchance.”
    “
    Ican’
    tjustabandonhi
    m.”
    “Whateverchoi
    cey oumake,it’
    suptoy oubutI
    promiseyou,seeingEaziwi
    thanothermanwi l
    l
    breakyousohar dandpushy outosuicide.
    What’shappeningwithSadi
    ?”
    Hesi
    ghed.“Sheischeati
    ng.Shelef
    twithaman
    andt
    heyaretogethersi
    ncelastni
    ght.
    ”
    “Witht hatgirly ouwer equicktomov eonandI
    am sur ey oudon’ treallyl
    oveher .Shewasy our
    rebound, t
    herei sadi ff
    erencebet weenj ust
    settl
    ingwi thsomeoneandbei ngwi t
    hsomeone
    youlov e.Thi si saper f
    ectchancef ory outo
    stepbackf rom r elationshi
    psandwor kon
    yoursel f
    .Youhav et oloveyourselfenought o
    l
    ov esomeoneel seandr emember ,
    youhav e
    twoki dsandt hoseki dsdependony ou.Take
    careofy ourki dsandt eachthem whatr eall
    ove
    i
    s.Fucki ngev eryni ghtdoesn’tmeany oul ove
    thatper son.”
    “Idi
    dn’
    texpectt
    hisf
    rom her
    .Iknowhei
    staki
    ng
    advant
    ageofher.
    ”
    “Sheisagr ownwoman.Stepbackf rom
    rel
    ati
    onshipsandfocusony our
    selfandtheki
    ds.
    Yourmotherdoesn’tevenl
    ikethatSadiwoman
    ofyours.
    ”
    “
    Iknow.
    ”
    “Yourr elati
    onshipwi thEazi shouldhav et aught
    yousomet hi
    ng,ar elationshipfullofdi shonest y,
    unf aithfulness,disrespectandmi strustdoesn’ t
    gof ar.Shei salreadycheat i
    ng, onecanf or giv
    e
    cheat ingbutt hingswi l
    l neverbet hesame.
    Ev eryt i
    mey ouar egoi ngt olookathery ouwi ll
    knowsomet hinghaschanged.Ther elationship
    will nev ergobackt ohowi twasonce.Next
    thingy our eal
    izeit’
    sj ustnotwor kingt heny ou
    alsost artcheating.Taki ngr evenge.Don’ tlet
    thatbey ourli
    fe.Justchoosey our selfandy our
    kids. ”
    Abenoddedt
    hought
    ful
    l
    y.“
    Ok.
    ”
    “Good,
    wewi
    l
    ltal
    kandy
    ouwi
    l
    ltel
    lwhaty
    ou
    did.
    ”
    “
    Ok.Howi
    sSummer
    ?”
    “
    Wearebondngni
    cel
    y,Ihadtakenherout
    y
    est
    erday
    ,shei
    smyfav or
    it
    e,yourmotheri
    sso
    happyhav
    ingherar
    ound.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    bye.
    ”
    Abehungupthenlookedathi
    sphoneand
    dr
    ovebacktohishouse.Mashsmil
    edashe
    wal
    kedin.
    “
    Hi,
    Imadebr
    eakf
    ast
    .”
    “Thanky
    oufortaki
    ngcareofmyson,
    youcan
    gonow.Iwi
    l
    l handl
    eit
    .”
    “
    Hei
    sjustababy
    ,Icandoi
    t.
    ”
    “
    No,
    Icant
    akecar
    eofmychi
    l
    d.Leav
    e.”
    Mashlookedathim wonderingifshehaddone
    toomuchlastni
    ght.“Iam sorr
    yaboutwhat
    happenedyest
    erday,
    Idon’tknowwhatgoti nt
    o
    me.”
    “
    Youknowwhatgoti
    ntoy
    ou.Leav
    emyhouse.
    ”
    Mashgotherbagandwal kedout
    .Abewalked
    t
    ohisson’
    sroom thenlookedathi
    m sl
    eepi
    ng
    wi
    thathought
    fulsmil
    e.
    .
    ((
    Copyri
    ght@2020byFezMat
    siki
    ti
    .+267
    75447725
    Allr
    ightsr eserved: Nopar toft hi
    sbookshall be
    reproduced, distri
    buted, orusedi nanyform or
    byanymeans, electronic,photocopy i
    ng,
    mechani callyorot herwise,withouttheprior
    writ
    tenper mi ssionoft heaut hor.Anyperson
    whodoesunaut hor i
    zedwor ksinr el
    ati
    ontothis
    publicat
    ionwi l
    lbel i
    ablet ocriminal
    prosecution.))

    *
    **

    Laterthataf
    ter
    noon,Iwalkedoutoftheai
    rpor
    t
    andspot t
    edOtengstandi
    nginf r
    ontofhi
    scar.I
    smiledwalki
    ngover,
    hesl i
    dhisphoneinhis
    pocketandhuggedmet i
    ghtl
    yinhal
    inghi
    s
    i
    ntoxicati
    ngscent
    .
    “
    Heymama.
    .”
    Ibl
    ushedgi
    ggl
    i
    ng.“
    Hey
    …”
    Heki
    ssedmethensteppedback.“
    Let
    ’sgo,
    the
    ki
    dsar
    einthecar
    .”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Heopenedthedoorforme, Igoti
    nandsmi
    led
    atMal
    colm whowast eachingKyr
    ahowtoplay
    agameonOt eng’
    stablet.
    “
    Heyguy
    s…”
    Malclookedatmeandsmi
    l
    edwhi
    l
    eKy
    ra
    cr
    awledov er
    .
    “
    Youar
    eback!
    ”
    “
    YesMal
    c,Iam back.
    ”Iki
    ssedKy
    ra’
    scheek.
    “
    Heyf
    ri
    end…”
    “
    Wear
    egoi
    ng.
    ”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Itol
    dyourf
    ri
    endt
    hatweoncewentt
    oBal
    i
    mommyandhesai
    dwecangoagai
    n.”
    IlookedatMal
    cthenbackatOt
    engashegoti
    n
    thecar.
    “
    Oteng…”
    “
    Wear
    egoi
    ngt
    oBal
    isoon.
    ”
    “
    Mommywear
    egoi
    ng?
    ”
    Il
    ookedatKy
    raandsmi
    l
    ed.“
    Yeswear
    egoi
    ng
    sweet
    y.”
    “
    Ihav
    etwomommi
    es!
    ”
    Il
    aughedemot
    ional
    l
    y.“
    Yeah.
    ”
    Otengst
    art
    edt hecaranddroveoff.Il
    ookedat
    hi
    m asKyrarestedherheadonmychest .“The
    chil
    dIl
    ostwascal l
    edLelent
    le.Li
    keher.
    ”
    Ot
    engt
    urnedt
    ome.“
    Real
    l
    y?”
    Inoddedsmi l
    i
    ngsadl
    y.“Yeah,
    thoughKy
    rai
    s
    wayolderthanher
    .Shewouldhavebeen
    al
    mostt hr
    ee.Howoldisshe?”
    “
    4year
    s.Al
    most5.
    ”
    Inoddedrunni
    ngmyfi
    ngersinherhai
    r.“
    Shei
    s
    beauti
    ful
    .CanImakehermine?”
    “Youdon’
    thav
    etoask,
    shei
    spar
    toft
    he
    package.
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    edandki
    ssedherhai
    r.
    “Mymother
    ’snamewasLel
    ent
    le.Ical
    l
    edher
    aft
    ermymother.
    ”
    “
    Thati
    sni
    ce.
    ”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”Hegl
    ancedatme.“
    Arey
    ouhungr
    y?”
    “Nobutpassbyamal
    l
    ,Iwantsomet
    hingf
    ormy
    aunt
    .”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hedr
    ovetoamal
    landpar
    ked.Il
    ookedathi
    m.
    “
    10minut
    es.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hel
    eanedov
    erandFr
    enchki
    ssedmebr
    ief
    ly,
    I
    l
    ookedatMal
    cwhowassoengr
    ossedont
    he
    t
    ablet
    .
    “
    Kyr
    asweet
    y,r
    emai
    nwi
    thMal
    canddaddy
    .”
    “
    Iwantt
    ogowi
    thy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Ist
    eppedoutt
    henreachedf
    ormybankcar
    d
    aft
    erpl
    aci
    ngherdown.
    “
    5mi
    nut
    esbabe.
    ”
    “
    Okmama.
    ”
    Il
    ookedathi m andbl ushedwonderi
    ngwhyt hat
    soundedsoseduct ive.Itur
    nedthenwalked
    withKy r
    ainsidethemal l
    .Wegoti noneofthe
    cl
    ot hi
    ngstoreswher eIimmediatel
    yspott
    edt he
    dress,Il
    ookedf orthesizeandgotithol
    ding
    Lelentl
    e’
    shand.
    Ipaidandwalkedoutwi
    thKy
    ra.Awoman
    blockedmefoldi
    ngherar
    ms.
    “
    Whoar
    eyou?
    ”
    If
    rowned.“
    Huh?
    ”
    “Whoareyouandwhatar ey
    oudoi
    ngwi
    thmy
    daught
    er?Iam Rebaone.
    ”
    Il
    ookedatherthenbackatKy
    rawhowasnow
    st
    andingbehi
    ndmehol di
    ngonti
    ght
    lyasi
    fshe
    wasscared.
    “
    Mynamei
    sEazi
    ,Ot
    eng’
    sgi
    rl
    fr
    iend.
    ”
    “
    So?Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngwi
    thmydaught
    er?
    ”
    “
    Herf
    atheri
    sout
    sidewai
    ti
    ngf
    orher
    .”
    “
    Giv
    ememychi
    l
    d.”
    “
    Tellt
    hatt
    oOt
    eng.Hei
    sout
    sideatt
    hepar
    king
    l
    ot.
    ”
    “
    Heel
    amosadi
    ,tl
    i
    sangwanake!(
    Woman,
    giv
    ee
    mychi
    ld.
    )”
    “Look,
    callOt
    engandaskhi
    mf ort
    hat.Iam not
    givi
    ngthi
    schil
    dtoyouunl
    esshesaysIshould.
    ”
    “
    Kyr
    a,l
    et’
    sgo!
    ”
    “
    Iwantt
    ost
    aywi
    thmynewmommy
    .”
    “Ky
    ra!
    ”Sheyel
    ledtr
    yingt
    opul
    lherhandbut
    Kyr
    ascreamedcry
    ing.
    “
    Cany
    oul
    eav
    eher
    !”
    Ipickedherupandsteppedbacki
    nsi
    det
    he
    store.Shefol
    l
    owedlaughing.
    “Wherear
    ey outakingmychi
    ld?Otengcan’
    t
    makemebr eakupwi thmyboyfr
    iendthenr
    un
    togiv
    ehisgirl
    fr
    iendsmybaby.Givememy
    chi
    ld!
    ”
    Shepul
    l
    edherf
    rom me.“
    Goandmakey
    our
    own.
    ”
    Kyrascreamedcryi
    ngformewhil
    eIstared
    unsureofwhattodo.Shecr
    iedsoloudl
    ymy
    heartbr
    oke.Rebaonel
    ookedatherangr
    ilyand
    putherdowntakingof
    fhershoeandbeather.
    “
    Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    It
    ’smychi
    l
    d,st
    ayaway
    .”Shel
    ookedbackat
    Ky
    ra.“
    Ify
    oukeepcryingIam goi
    ngt
    obeaty
    ou
    wi
    thabelt
    .Shutup!
    ”
    Ky
    ral
    ookedatmecr
    ying.“
    Mama!
    ”
    Tear
    srandownmycheeks,
    Iqui
    ckl
    ytookout
    myphoneshaki
    ng.
    “
    Don’
    tcr
    y,Daddyi
    scomi
    ngt
    ogety
    ou.
    ”
    “YouandOtengarenotget
    ti
    ngmydaught
    erto
    playhappyf
    amil
    ies.Goandmakey
    ourown!”
    Li
    nawal kedinsidethestoreandlookedatthe
    womandr aggi
    ngt hecry
    ingchil
    doutwhi l
    eI
    tr
    ieddi
    alingOt engwithshakeyhands,the
    phonefellthenshepickeditup.
    “
    Hey
    ,what
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “Sheistaki
    ngthechi
    ldbutshe…sheisnot
    supposedto.Sheisbeat
    ingthechi
    l
    d.”
    “
    Whoar
    eyout
    ryi
    ngt
    ocal
    l
    ?”
    “
    Oteng.
    ”
    Li
    nasearchedf
    orOt
    engt
    hengav
    emet
    he
    phone.
    “Oteng,
    Rebaonet
    ookKyraandshebeather
    .
    Pleasecomeandgether
    ,shei
    scryi
    ng.”
    “
    What
    ?Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    Ir
    ushedoutandl
    ookedatRebaonewal
    ki
    ng
    awaywit
    hKyrawhowasstil
    lcry
    ing.
    “
    Shei
    sheadedt
    owar
    dsSpa.
    ”
    Hehungupt
    henLi
    nal
    ookedatme.
    “
    Babymamadr
    ama?
    ”
    “
    Iguess.
    ”
    “
    Shei
    ssougl
    y,don’
    tlethergett
    oyou.
    ”
    Il
    aughedwipi
    ngawaymyt ear
    s.“
    Iknowbutshe
    i
    sabusingt
    hatli
    tt
    legi
    rl
    .”
    “
    Whydoesn’tyourhunkfi
    ghtforf
    ull
    cust
    ody?
    Hecanwinifhemanagest oprov
    etothecour
    t
    t
    hatthel
    i
    ttl
    eangel i
    sunsafei
    nherhands.
    ”
    “
    That
    ’swhathei
    str
    yingt
    odo.
    ”
    “
    Aren’
    tyougoi
    ngaf
    terher
    ?”
    “
    No,
    Otengwi
    l
    lsor
    tit
    ,Iwi
    l
    lwai
    tint
    hecar
    .”
    Li
    nasmil
    ed.“
    Youknowwhoy
    ourmani
    s…
    ri
    ght
    ?”
    “
    Whatdoy
    oumean?
    ”
    Li
    nasmi
    l
    ed.“
    Youdon’
    tknowaboutOt
    eng?
    ”
    “
    OhhhIdo,
    hei
    smygangst
    er.
    ”
    Li
    nal
    aughed.“
    Goodt
    hingy
    ouknow,
    ok,
    bye!
    ”
    Il
    ookedathert
    ryi
    ngt
    oseei
    fwel
    ookedal
    i
    ke.
    Shesmi
    l
    ed.“
    What
    ?”
    “
    Yourfat
    heri
    smyfat
    her
    .Aswei
    rdasi
    tsounds,
    wearesi
    ster
    s.”
    Shest
    oppedsmi
    l
    ing.“
    Whatdi
    dyousay
    ?”
    .
    Li
    keandcomment
    ,happySunday
    ..
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #96

    Il
    ookedatherfaci
    alexpr
    essi
    onschangeand
    si
    ghed.“
    Bye.”
    Iwalkedawayl
    eavingherst
    andi
    ngther
    e,fr
    ozen.
    Attheparki
    ngl
    ot,Igoti
    nthecarandl
    ookedat
    Malcwithasmil
    e.
    “
    Didy
    oumi
    ssme?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Howwasmyf
    ri
    end?
    ”
    “
    Hei
    scool
    ,Il
    i
    kehi
    m now.
    ”
    Ilaughed.“Ok.hei
    sreall
    yniceonceyougetto
    knowhi m butdon’
    tfeel
    pressuredtol
    ikehi
    m.If
    youdon’tli
    kehim,it
    ’sst
    il
    lok.Ifyouar
    enot
    comf
    ort
    abl
    ewi
    thsomet
    hingy
    out
    ell
    meok?
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    butIr
    eal
    l
    yli
    kehi
    m now.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Myphoner
    ang,
    Itooki
    toutandanswer
    edAbe’
    s
    cal
    l
    .
    “
    Yes?
    ”
    “Hi
    ,ther
    eissomet
    hingIwantt
    otal
    ktoy
    ou
    about.
    ”
    “
    Whati
    sit
    ?”
    “IloveMal cbutIal soloveyou,Ifeel Ineedto
    keepsomedi stancef r
    om you,may bet hatwil
    l
    helpmemakebet terdeci
    sions,seeingy ouwith
    thatmani sj usthur t
    ingmeandIknowIhav eno
    ri
    ghtt obehur tbutIam human.Imadesome
    baddeci sionsoutofangerandpai nandt odayI
    l
    ivewi ththepai n.Iam goingtodistancemy sel
    f
    from youf oral i
    ttl
    ewhi l
    eandalsoMal csince
    hei spartofy ou.Ihav etodealwithmy
    demons.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    edr
    oppi
    nghi
    m,y
    etagai
    n?”
    “No.ButIjustneedsomespaceatt he
    meantime.Sadi andIarebreaki
    ngup,Iwantt
    o
    dealwit
    ht hatwithouti
    ncl
    udinganyoneel
    sein
    themix.”
    Isi
    ghed.“
    It
    ’sokAbe.Iwi
    l
    lexpl
    aini
    ttohi
    m.”
    “Thankyou.Iam sor
    ryf
    ornotshowingupat
    court
    ,IcamebutIsawy outwogett
    ingi
    n,I
    didn’
    twanttofaceyouwit
    hhim.”
    “
    It
    ’sf
    ine,
    what
    ’sdonei
    sdone.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    It
    ookadeepbr
    eat
    h.
    “
    Abedi
    l
    e-“
    “No,Iknowy
    oudon’
    tfeelt
    hesameany
    mor
    e,I
    underst
    andt
    hat
    ,Iam j
    ustsay
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    bye.
    ”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    HehungupjustasOtengopenedthebackdoor
    andputKyr
    ainsi
    de.Shelookedatmesmi l
    i
    ng
    whil
    esni
    ff
    ing.
    “
    Hey
    ,see?It
    oldy
    ou.Daddyt
    ooky
    ou.
    ”
    Shenoddedfi
    ghti
    ngherhi
    ccups.Ot
    enggoti
    n
    thecarandst
    art
    edtheengi
    ne.
    “Iam sor
    ryaboutwhathappened.I
    t’
    snev
    er
    goingtohappeneveragai
    n.”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Ok.Ihopeshedi
    dn’
    tcr
    eat
    eascene.
    ”
    “
    Shewoul
    dn’
    tdar
    e.Gotwhaty
    ouwant
    ed?
    ”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    IputonmyseatbeltthenlookedatMal colm
    tel
    l
    ingKyrasomethingwhileshel aughed.I
    l
    ookedatOtengashedr ov ewithonehandand
    smiledl
    ooki
    ngawaywonder i
    ngi fthi
    stoowas
    goingtobeshor
    tli
    v edhappiness.Iconnected
    myphonet othecar’sr
    adiothenpl ayedKell
    y
    Clar
    ksonandJasonAl deanleaningbackonmy
    seatsi
    ngingalong.Malcol
    m sangwi t
    hmeas
    wemadeourowndi sorder
    .Ky r
    al aughing
    cl
    appingherhandsmumbl ing.Itookmyphone
    andtookashor tvi
    deoshowingt hekidsatthe
    backthenOteng.

    *
    **

    Lonassentherassi
    gnmentandsi
    ghedwi
    th
    reli
    ef.Shel
    ookedatherl
    apt
    opwit
    hasmil
    ethen
    pickedherri
    ngi
    ngphone.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi,
    Ijustgoty
    ournumberf
    rom acol
    l
    eague,
    do
    y
    oustil
    lhavet
    heBrazi
    l
    ianweav
    es?”
    “
    Yes.Al
    li
    nches.
    ”
    “
    Great
    ,Ihear
    dyoual
    sosel
    lmake-
    up.
    ”
    “Yes,bi
    gbrands,
    alsoper
    fumesandski
    ncar
    e
    product
    s.”
    “
    Cany
    oupassbymyof
    fi
    ceandshowme?
    ”
    “
    YesbutIwi
    l
    lsendy
    ouaquot
    ati
    on.
    ”
    “Ok, IworkatOsWor l
    d,t
    ell
    them y
    ouar el
    ooking
    forOl ebogengbutImainl
    yneedthewig,the
    skincar eproduct
    s,fr
    om cl
    eanser
    stil
    lthe
    moi sturi
    zersandalsoamake-upkit
    .”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Lonashungupwi thasmi lethensenthert he
    quotati
    onknowingf oreverythingthel ady
    wantedshewoul dpr obablymakeal ot .Shegot
    upandpackedev ery
    thingshepossi blyneeded
    thenwalkedout.Awhi lelatershest eppedout
    ofthetaxihol
    dingherbagofpr oductst hen
    walkedinsi
    dethebi gtallbuil
    dingwhi chwentup
    highinthesky.Sheappr oachedt her ecept i
    onist
    wheretherewasnoone, shel ookedar ound
    t
    henamanappr
    oachedt
    oo.
    “
    Wher
    ear
    ethey
    ?”
    Lonasshr
    ugged.“
    Idon’
    tknow,
    Ijustgother
    e.”
    Therecepti
    onphonerang,Lonas’
    sheart
    poundedasshelookedatitthenfi
    nall
    yshe
    walkedroundt
    heglasstableandpicked.
    “UhGoodmor
    ning,
    thi
    sisOsWor
    ld,
    howcanI
    hel
    pyou?”
    “Hi,t
    hisNolut
    hando,Iam cal
    li
    ngfr
    om the
    branchinJoburg,
    canwepl easebeconnect
    ed
    toMr s.Mokwena?”
    “
    Uhhhhol
    don.
    ”
    “
    Ofcause…”
    Lonasopenedt
    hedrawerst
    hencl
    osedthem
    wonderi
    ngwhattodo,t
    hemanlookedather
    .
    “Pr
    essthere.
    ”Hepoi
    nted,
    Lonaspr
    essedt
    hen
    putthephonedownl
    aughing.
    “
    Wow!
    ”
    “
    Yeah,
    arey
    out
    henewr
    ecept
    ioni
    st?
    ”
    “
    No.
    ”
    Asmartl
    ydr
    essedl
    adyappr
    oachedandl
    ooked
    ather
    .
    “
    Hi.
    ”
    “
    Goodmor ningandwel
    comet
    oOsWor
    ld,
    how
    mayIhel
    py ou?”
    Thewomansmi
    l
    ed.“
    Iwoul
    dli
    ket
    ospeakt
    othe
    CEO.
    ”
    Lonascl
    earedherthroatst
    ari
    ngatt
    hel
    ady
    .“Do
    youhaveanappointment?”
    “
    No.Buti
    t’
    simpor
    tant
    .”
    “Iwil
    lhav
    etocheckifthebossisavai
    lableat
    themomenttoseey ou,uhhwouldyoulikea
    glassofwat
    erwhil
    eIt r
    yconnecti
    ngwiththe
    boss?”
    “
    Ofcause.
    ”
    Lonasstoodupthenwal
    kedgrabbeda
    di
    sposablecupf
    rom t
    hewaterdispensarythen
    fi
    ll
    edthecupwit
    hwaterandhandedi tt
    ot he
    l
    ady.
    “
    Youmaysi
    t.
    ”
    Shelaughed.“Wow!Youaregood,doy ouwor
    k
    her
    e?Idon’tthinkIhav
    eseenyourface.”
    Reali
    zingshewasoneofthewor ker
    sLonas
    st
    oodup.“ Uhnomam, thephonewasr ingi
    ng
    soIthoughttoanswer
    .Iam justl
    ookingfor
    Olebogeng.
    ”
    “
    Isee,
    doy
    ouhav
    eaj
    ob?
    ”
    “
    Nomam,
    Isel
    l
    .”
    “
    Whatdi
    dyoust
    udy
    ?”
    “
    Iam st
    udy
    ingMBA.
    ”
    “
    Oh,
    int
    erest
    ing,
    andhowf
    arar
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Iam cur
    rent
    lydoi
    ngmysecondy
    ear
    .”
    Anotherl
    adyrushedoverthenlookedatthe
    smartl
    ydressedladyf
    ixi
    ngherf unkyhai
    r.She
    stoodbesi
    deLonaswhost eppedbackcatchi
    ng
    theunusualodor
    .
    “
    Goodmorni
    ngAnaya,Iam sor
    ryIam l
    ate,
    I
    wasst
    ucki
    ntraf
    fi
    c.”
    Anay
    al ookedatherwatch.“Andyouhappento
    be3hour slate?Wherewereyoustucki
    ntraf
    fi
    c?
    Di
    dyoumov eper
    haps?Wheredoy oust
    aynow?
    Mahalapye?”
    Theladywitht
    hesmel
    ll
    ookeddown.“
    I
    apol
    ogize.
    ”
    “
    Got
    omyof
    fi
    ceandwai
    tformet
    her
    e.”
    Theladynoddedthenwalkedof
    fwi
    tht
    heman
    behi
    ndher.Anayalookedatme.
    “
    Soy
    ouar
    eaf
    ull
    timest
    udent
    ?”
    “
    No,
    Iam apar
    tti
    mest
    udent
    .”
    “
    Isee,
    anypl
    ansofl
    ooki
    ngf
    oraj
    ob?
    ”
    “
    Nownoonewoul dhi
    remethat
    ’swhyIpush
    myhust
    le.I
    tkeepsmegoi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    What
    ’sy
    ourname?
    ”
    “
    Lonas.LonasMackenzi
    e.”
    “OkLonas,
    Iam AnayaMokwena,t
    hisi
    smy
    cur
    ve.i
    fyouar
    el ooki
    ngf
    orajob,
    it’
    syour
    s.I
    f
    not-
    “
    “
    Iam!Shescr
    eamed.“
    Iam.Iam sor
    ry,
    Iam.I
    woul
    dlov
    ethejob.
    ”
    Anay asmi l
    ed.“
    Theni
    t’
    syour
    s.Iwil
    lsend
    someonet oshowhowthi
    ngswork,
    unfortunatel
    yweneedyouasinnow.Hopey
    ou
    don’tmi nd.”
    “
    Idon’
    t.
    ”
    “
    Hav
    eagoodday
    .”
    “
    Nol
    uthandofr
    om Johannesbur
    gcal
    l
    edaski
    ng
    t
    ospeaktoyou.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    thanks.
    ”
    Shecatwalkedherwayinthelongestheel
    s
    Lonashadev erseentot
    heelevat
    or.Lonasput
    herhandsoverherfacecry
    ingwit
    hjoyand
    di
    sbeli
    ef.

    *
    **

    Li
    nalookedatherphonef
    orawhil
    ethenf
    inal
    l
    y
    pi
    ckeditupanddial
    edheraunt
    .
    “
    Lina…”
    “
    Ma,di
    dmyf
    atherhav
    eanot
    herchi
    l
    dout
    t
    her
    e?”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Didhe?
    ”
    “
    Thi
    sneedsi
    nper
    son.
    ”
    “
    Tel
    lme.
    ”
    “Thisiswhaty ourmot hertoldme, wheny our
    fatherwaswor kinginMaun, hemetawoman
    there.Abeaut i
    ful womanandhadanaf f
    airwith
    her.Yourf athert hengotanot herjobandhadt o
    mov eandt hat’swhenhel eftt hi
    swoman.He
    hadn’tt oldherhewasmar r
    iedt oy ourmot her
    ,
    thewomanwasmar ri
    edsot heyhadpl anned
    thatshel eav esherhusbandandst arttheir
    l
    ov est oget herwi ththeirchil
    dandwheni twas
    ti
    mef orhert ocome, hecutcommuni cation
    withher .Nooneknowswhathappenedt ot he
    womanort hechi l
    dbuti ft
    hechi ldist here,she
    orhei sr elati
    v elytwoy earsy oungert hany ou.
    Whot oldy out his?”
    Tearsf
    il
    ledLi
    na’seyes.“
    Shetol
    dme.Mysist
    er
    tol
    dme.Whydi dn’
    tyoueversayany
    thi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Lina,
    howsur
    ear
    eyout
    hati
    t’
    sher
    ?”
    “Shelookspapa!Isawittoday,
    shel ooksl
    ike
    him,eventhewayshetalks.Idon’tknowwhyI
    neversawitbutsheishisdaughter!”Li
    nacri
    ed.
    “
    Theny
    oucanbondand…whyar
    eyoucr
    ying?
    ”
    “Ihav
    ebeenmeant
    oher.Iknowher
    ,Ihav
    e
    knownherf
    orawhi
    lenow.”
    “Suchcanalway
    sbefixed.Shei
    syourbl
    ood.I
    am notevensur
    eaboutLonasbuther
    …sheis
    yourbl
    ood.”
    “
    Whati
    fshenev
    erf
    orgi
    vesme?
    ”
    “
    Shewil
    l.Weneedtohav
    eaf
    ami
    l
    ymeet
    ing.
    What
    ’shername?
    ”
    “
    Eazi
    .
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lyou.
    ”
    Linahungupwi pingawayhert ear
    st hen
    scrol
    ledti
    l
    l Eazi
    ’
    snumberwonder ingwhatshe
    wasthinki
    ng.Nowt hatshethoughtofit,
    she
    wasal waysrudetoEazi i
    nthepast .Shetapped
    thenumberandhel dt hephoneonherear .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hey
    …canwemeet
    ,andt
    alk.
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    butnott
    oday
    .”
    “
    Ofcause,
    whenev
    ery
    oumaywantt
    omeet
    .”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Eazihungupt
    henshel
    eanedbackcl
    osi
    ngher
    eyes.

    *
    **

    Thefol
    lowingday,
    lat
    emorning,
    inMaun,Abe
    shookhandswithabusi
    nessassoci
    ate.
    “
    Pleasur
    edoi
    ngbusi
    nesswi
    thy
    ou.
    ”
    Abenoddedwi
    thasmi
    l
    e.“
    Likewi
    se.
    ”
    Abewalkedoutoft
    heof
    fi
    cetohi
    sbusi
    ness
    associ
    ate’
    sPAwhowasholdi
    nghi
    sson.
    “
    ThanksMonei
    .”
    “I
    t’
    sok,yoursoni
    scut
    eandsl
    eepi
    ng.Hel
    ooks
    soyoung.”
    “
    3mont
    hs.
    ”
    Monei smiled.“
    Heissocuteandlooksonlyl
    ike
    you,Iwonderhowhi smotherf
    eels,i
    magine
    carr
    yinghimf orni
    nemonthsforhimtocome
    l
    ookinglikeanexactcopyofhi
    sfather.
    ”
    Abelaughedst
    ari
    ngatherwhi
    l
    eshehel
    d
    Ronaldti
    ght
    lyi
    nherhands.
    “
    CanIkeephi
    m?Ther
    rawenakeagokopa,
    let
    meescor
    tyou.
    ”
    Shestoodupinherf
    ormalwearandwal
    ked
    withhi
    m outsi
    det
    ohiscar
    .Abeopenedthe
    backdoort
    henMoneipl
    acedhim ont
    hecar
    seat.
    “
    Ther
    e…”
    Shecl
    osedt
    hedoort
    hensmi
    l
    edatAbe.
    “
    Keepmyboysaf
    e.”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    l.Thanksagai
    n.”
    “
    It
    ’sok,
    Iwoul
    ddoi
    tforf
    ree.Don’
    tyouneeda
    baby
    sit
    ter
    ?”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lthi
    nkabouti
    t.
    ”
    Shesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Ok,
    bye.
    ”
    Abegoti
    nhiscart
    hendr
    oveof
    fpi
    cki
    nghi
    s
    ri
    ngi
    ngphone.
    “
    Yes?
    ”
    “
    Iam home,
    Iam mov
    ingout
    .”
    “Why?Ithoughty
    ousaidy
    oujustneededa
    breakandyouwouldcomebackhome. ”
    “IhavethoughtaboutwhatIwantandIdon’t
    thi
    nkIwantt ostaywit
    hsomeonewhodoesn’ t
    appreciat
    eme.Iam donebeingyoursecond
    bestandal waysbei
    ngunderst
    anding.Iam
    choosingtowalkaway.”
    “
    Cany
    ouwai
    tsot
    hatwecant
    alkaboutt
    his?
    ”
    “
    No,
    Iam l
    eav
    ing.Wher
    eismyson?
    ”
    “
    Youar
    enott
    aki
    ngmysonwi
    thanddon’
    tev
    en
    tr
    yme, obat
    lagont
    ena,(
    youwantt
    opi
    ssme
    off
    ,)don’
    tmenti
    onmyson.”
    “
    Hei
    stooy
    oung?
    ”
    “So?Iwil
    ltakecar
    eofmykids.Goal
    one,
    my
    sonisnotgoinganywher
    e.”
    “
    Can’
    tyouseey
    ouar
    enotbei
    ngf
    air
    ?”
    “Mysonisnotgoi
    nganywhere.Got
    oKane
    al
    one.I
    sthereany
    thi
    ngelse?
    ”
    “
    Iwantmyson.
    ”
    “
    Takemet
    ocour
    tthen.
    ”
    “
    Iam goi
    ngt
    o.Iwantmyson!
    ”
    Shehungup,Abeputhi
    sphoneawayand
    l
    ookedathi
    ssonsleepi
    ngatthebackseatwi
    th
    asmil
    e.

    *
    **
    Sadi
    tookherbagst
    oKane’
    scar
    .
    “
    That
    ’sev
    ery
    thi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Yes,hei
    sref
    usi
    ngwi
    thmyson.Iam goi
    ngt
    o
    t
    akehimtocour
    t.
    ”
    “Heistryi
    ngt ogett oy ou,don’tlethi
    m.Andy ou
    shouldknowi fyoutaket hatchil
    dhewi llnever
    l
    eavey oual one.Lethim staywi ththechildand
    youwi l
    lseehi m whenev eryoucan.Ei t
    herway ,
    ri
    ghtnowy ouneedt obewor kinghardf or
    yoursel
    f,hav i
    ngt hatchil
    dwi t
    hy ouwi l
    ldistr
    act
    you.
    ”Kanel eanedov erandki ssedher.“Justlet
    i
    tbe.Lethi m keephi m.”
    Shesi
    ghed.“
    Youar
    eri
    ght
    .”
    “
    Iam,
    leti
    tgo.
    ”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    Hest
    art
    edt
    hecarandr
    ever
    sedt
    hendr
    oveof
    f.
    .
    Shar
    e,l
    i
    keandcomment
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #97

    AtScarl
    etBeaut
    yParl
    or,
    Kopowalkedinsidet
    he
    par
    lorandwentovert
    otherecept
    ioni
    st.
    “
    Hi,
    Iwoul
    dli
    ket
    oseeBi
    na.
    ”
    Therecept
    ionistf
    rownedleani
    ngbackasa
    st
    rongsmel l
    tookover.“
    Whoar eyou?
    ”
    “
    Kopo,
    hersi
    ster
    .”
    “
    Ok,
    letmecal
    lher
    .”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Ther
    ecept
    ioni
    stst
    oodupandwal
    kedt
    owar
    ds
    adoorwher eshedisappearedforafew
    secondsthencamebackwi thBinawhowas
    wearingashortbl
    uedr essandheels,Bi
    na
    fl
    ippedherlongweavebackst ari
    ngattheKopo.
    “
    Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngher
    e?”
    “
    Weneedt
    otal
    k.”
    Binalookedatther
    ecept
    ionist
    .“What
    ’st
    hat
    funkysmell?Somethi
    ngdiedhere?
    ”
    Therecept
    ioni
    stlookedatKopothenBina
    fr
    owned.“Let’
    stalkout
    side,
    Ican’
    thavethis
    smelli
    nmypar lor
    ,youwantmycustomer sto
    l
    eave?”
    Kopol ookedatherembarr
    assedthenwalked
    outwithBi nabehi
    ndher
    .Therecepti
    oni
    st
    reachedforherhandbagandtookherperf
    ume
    andspr ayedabiti
    ntheai
    r.
    Outsi
    de,Bi
    natookast
    epbackfrom hersi
    ster
    t
    henfoldedherar
    msstar
    ingather
    .“Whatar e
    youdoingher
    e?”
    “
    Iwantchi
    l
    dmai
    ntenance.
    ”
    “
    Youwantwhat
    ?”
    “
    Chi
    l
    dmai
    ntenance.
    ”
    “
    Forwho?
    ”
    “
    ForJessi
    ca.
    ”
    “
    Whoi
    sthat
    ?”
    “
    Mydaught
    er,
    Moemedi
    ’
    sdaught
    er.
    ”
    “
    DoIl
    ookl
    i
    keMoemedi
    ?”
    “
    Youaresupposedtobepayingt
    hechil
    d
    mai
    ntenance.Mydaught
    erdeser
    vedsomet
    hing
    f
    rom whatherfat
    herl
    eft
    .”
    “Iam sorr
    ybutherf at
    herl
    eftbehi
    ndawi lland
    ther
    ear ekidsher ecogni
    zed,ki
    dslikeour
    daughterandhi sson,Malcolm.Theyallgot
    somet hi
    ng,yournamewasnev erment i
    oned
    butfeelfr
    eet ocontacthisl
    awy er
    ,May behe
    madeami stake.”
    “Youar
    esupposedt
    obepayi
    ngmaint
    enance.I
    l
    ostmyjobandnowther
    eisnowwayIcan
    suppor
    ther
    .”
    “Whywon’ty oul oseyourj
    obwheny ouare
    l
    ookingli
    ket hat?Yousmel lli
    keadeadr at,
    whenlastdidy oubat h?Whichcompanywoul d
    wanttohirey ou?Got omamabecausei fyou
    thi
    nkyouar eher etogetmoneyf rom me, y
    ou
    arewrong.Youhadanaf f
    airwit
    hamar ried
    manandunf ortunatel
    yheisdeadnow.Iam not
    givi
    ngyouacentofmyhar dearnedmoney .
    ”
    “
    Iam goi
    ngt
    otakey
    out
    ocour
    t.
    ”
    “
    Go,
    Idon’
    tcar
    e.Butmay
    bebat
    hfi
    rst
    .”
    Kopocoveredherfacecr
    ying.“
    Pleasehelpme.
    Idon’
    thaveanythi
    ng,myjobisallIhad.
    ”
    “Iam notgi
    vi
    ngy oumoney ,
    whatar eyouare
    smelli
    ng?Ifi
    t’
    sdi seasesorwhat ev
    er,
    getit
    treat
    edandfast.KGAA! ”Shetookanotherstep
    back.“Howdidy ouev engethere?”
    “
    Igotal
    i
    ft.
    ”
    “Ngng,gogethel
    pmma, youar
    esti
    nki
    ngi
    t’
    s
    notevenf
    unnyandit
    ’ssostr
    ong.
    ”
    Binawal
    kedbackinsi
    deherpar
    lort
    hencame
    backwit
    haP200.00noteandgaveitt
    oher.
    “
    That
    ’sal
    lIhav
    e.”
    Kopotookitandwalkedaway.Bi
    nacl
    i
    ckedher
    tongueandwentbacktoheroffi
    ce

    *
    **

    Laterthatday ,Lonaswal kedwit


    hhersoni nsi
    de
    hersmal lroom andpl acedhim downthen
    start
    edcooki ng.Acardr ov ei
    ntheyardthen
    secondsl aterThami knockedandgotin.He
    smiledget ti
    nghissonf rom thebed.
    “
    Heyboyboy
    !”
    Lonaslookedathi
    m.“
    Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ng
    here?
    ”
    “
    Ihav
    ecomet
    ocol
    l
    ecthi
    m.”
    “
    Didn’
    tweagreet
    haty
    ouwoul
    dgethi
    m on
    weekends?
    ”
    “
    Whatdi
    ff
    erencedoest
    odaymakeLonas?
    ”
    “
    Itmakesal
    otofdi
    ff
    erence.
    ”
    “
    Look,Iam j
    usther
    eformyson.Idon’
    twantt
    o
    f
    ightwit
    hyou.”
    “Whoisf i
    ghtingwithyou?Iwantust ohavea
    properco-parent
    ingrelat
    ionshi pandt hat
    i
    ncludespr opercommuni cation.Youmust
    communi catewithmenotf ory outojustcome
    tomyhouseandsayy ouar et aki
    ngy ourson
    whenweact uall
    yagreedt haty outakehim on
    weekends.”
    “Iseey
    ouwanttost
    artanar
    gumentandIam
    goingt
    odi
    sappoi
    ntyou.
    ”
    “Disappointme?Areyoulist
    eni
    ngtoyour
    self
    ?I
    am notf i
    ghti
    ngwithyou.Youknowwhat?”She
    tookthebaby ’
    sbagandhandedi tt
    ohim.
    “There,nowy oucango.”
    “
    Youhav
    eanat
    ti
    tude.
    ”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Hewal kedoutthenshestoodbythedoor
    star
    ingattheladyseatedatt
    hefrontsi
    tand
    shookherheadget t
    ingbackinsi
    deherhouse.
    Shesmi l
    edthenchosetheclot hesshewould
    weart omorrowatwor k,t
    hefirstdayhadgone
    well,shegrabbedherphonewonder ingwhoto
    tell
    hergoodnewsbutt hensighedr eal
    izi
    ngshe
    didn’thavefri
    endsbutagain,
    thatwasst i
    l
    lfi
    ne.

    *
    **

    Sadi
    lookedar
    oundherhouse,
    itwassosi
    l
    ent
    andshef eltabi
    tlonely.Shelookedather
    phonet hi
    nkingofcall
    ingAbebutt henadv i
    se
    Kanehadgi v
    entohercamebackt oher .I
    fshe
    keptcalli
    nghim,thenhewoul dalway shavea
    holdonher .Hewaspr obablyusingtheirsonto
    getherbackbutitwasnotgoi ngtowor k.Alot
    ofwomanl iv
    edwithoutthei
    rkidsandt heydid
    j
    ustfine.
    Kanedrovei
    nthenshest
    oodupsmi
    l
    ing,
    he
    walkedi
    nthenki
    ssedher
    .
    “
    Igott
    his,
    Ihopet
    hat
    ’sok.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok,
    Iam hungr
    y.”
    “
    Yeah,
    met
    oo.
    ”
    Het ur
    nedont heTVhehadboughthert hen
    theyrel
    axedeat ing.Hisphonerangfrom his
    pocket,hetooki toutandanswer edgett
    ingup
    andwal ki
    ngout side.Sadicur
    iouslyl
    ookedat
    thedoor ,
    minutesl aterKanewalkedbackin.
    “
    Iam f
    lyi
    ngt
    oGabst
    omor
    row,
    Iwi
    l
    lbackt
    he
    ot
    hermor
    ning.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iam goi
    ngt
    omi
    ssy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Met
    oo,
    butIwi
    l
    lbebackbef
    orey
    ouknowi
    t.
    ”
    Shelookedattheweddi
    ngbandmar konhi
    s
    fi
    ngerandsighed,
    shehadseenity
    ester
    daybut
    hadn’twant
    edtoseem i
    nsecur
    ebutnowasshe
    star
    edatit,
    itl
    ookedfr
    esh.
    “
    Wher
    eyoumar
    ri
    ed?
    ”
    Kanelookedathisfi
    ngerandsmi l
    ed.“
    No,Ido
    weararingtoavoidget
    tingaskedwhenIam
    get
    tingmarri
    ed.Notbeingmar r
    iedi
    sasinI
    havenoti
    ced.”
    Sadi
    laughed.“
    Iknowwhaty
    oumean.
    ”
    “
    Sowhentheyseether
    ing,
    theydon’
    tev
    enask.
    Wor
    kswondersforme.
    ”
    Heki ssedherbuttheki
    sst ur
    nedint
    ense,he
    tookt hei
    rpl
    atesandplacedthem downthen
    pickedherupandwentwi t
    hhertothebedroom
    wher ehernewl
    yboughtbedwasandl ayher
    theretaki
    ngoffherdr
    ess.Heundr essedt
    hen
    reachedforacondom inhisbackpocket,putit
    onandsanki nherpussy.Sadimoanedsof tl
    y
    ashebegunf ucki
    nghery etagai
    n.

    *
    **

    Earl
    yintheeveni
    ng,Gi
    narel
    axedherheadon
    Taku’
    schestwhilet
    heywatchedTV.Herubbed
    herbackslowlywhi
    l
    egivi
    ngherrandom
    for
    eheadkisses.
    “
    Iam goi
    ngt
    ogetwat
    er,
    doy
    ouwantsome?
    ”
    Shel
    ookedathi
    m wi
    thasmi
    l
    e.“
    Jui
    ce.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hestoodupandwal kedtot
    hekitchenwhi
    le
    shestaredathi
    m wit
    hasmile.Herphonerang,
    shereachedfori
    tandansweredtheunsav
    ed
    number
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hey
    ,canwet
    alk?
    ”
    Herhear
    tski
    pped.“
    Mykel
    ?”
    “
    Yes.I
    t’
    simpor
    tant
    .”
    “
    YouandIhav
    enot
    hingt
    otal
    kabout
    .”
    “
    Please,
    Imadeami
    stake.
    ”
    “No!Whatwewer edoi
    ngwast
    hemi
    stake.You
    haveawife,
    focusonthat
    .”
    “
    Ilov
    eyouandIwanty
    oubackGi
    na.
    ”
    “
    Iam yourmother
    ’sagemat
    e.Youneedt
    ost
    op,
    myhusbandandIarefi
    xi
    ngthi
    ngs.
    ”
    “
    Canwemeetandt
    alk?That
    ’sal
    lIam aski
    ng
    f
    or.
    ”
    “
    Mykel
    …”
    “
    Please.
    ”
    “Yourwif
    ecametoharassme,
    Iam nott
    aki
    ng
    chances,St
    opcal
    l
    ingme.”
    Shequickl
    yhungupandputherphoneaway
    whil
    eherheartpounded.Takuwal
    kedback
    hol
    dingherjui
    ce.
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    Shegulpedi
    tal
    ldownherthroatandsi
    ghed
    rel
    axi
    ngonhischestagai
    n.

    *
    **

    Thatsameev eni
    ng,i
    nMaun, Abewalked
    aroundt
    hest or
    elooki
    ngforformul
    ami lk
    holdi
    nghiscryi
    ngchil
    d.Hetookadeepbr eath
    comingacrossthefor
    mulami l
    ksect
    ionand
    pi
    ckedtheoneSadi al
    wayschose.Het ur
    nedt o
    walktotheti
    llt
    henbumpedi nt
    oOntlametsi.
    Shel
    aughed.“
    Hey
    ….”
    Abesmi
    l
    edsur
    pri
    sedt
    oseeher
    .“Hi
    .”
    “
    Wow!I
    sthaty
    ourson?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    CanIseehi
    m?”
    Hehandeditthecryi
    ngbabytoher
    ,Ontl
    ametsi
    hushedhim pl
    aci
    ngherhandonhisfor
    ehead.
    Shetouchedhispant
    sandsighed.
    “
    Whenl
    astdi
    dyouchangehi
    spamper
    ?”
    “
    Int
    hemor
    ning.
    ”
    “What
    ?That
    ’swhyhei
    scr
    ying.Iwi
    l
    lhel
    pyou,
    comeandpay.
    ”
    Theybothwal
    kedtotheti
    ll
    thenhepai
    dasshe
    tr
    iedget
    ti
    ngthechi
    ldtoqui
    etendown.
    “
    Doy
    ouhav
    ehi
    sbabybagwi
    thy
    our
    ightnow?
    ”
    “
    No,
    it’
    satt
    hehot
    el.
    ”
    “Let
    ’sgotherebuty ouwi
    l
    lhav
    etot
    akeme
    homeafterthis.Icamewit
    hmynei
    ghbor
    .”
    “
    Ok.Thanks.
    ”
    Theygotinhiscarthenhedrovebackt othe
    hotel
    .Hel edhertohisr
    oom andwat chedher
    qui
    cklyundresshisboythentookhisbag.She
    di
    sappearedinsidethebat
    hroom forafew
    minutesthencameoutwi pi
    nghi swetbody.
    Shelayhim onthebedanddr essedhim.
    “Nowweareal
    lcl
    ean!Daddyi
    sn’
    ttaki
    ngpr
    oper
    careofy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ousomuch.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok,
    wher
    eisy
    ourgi
    rl
    fr
    iend?
    ”
    “
    Webr
    okeup.
    ”
    “
    Soy
    ouwi
    l
    lbest
    ayi
    ngwi
    tht
    hebaby
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Youneedt
    ogetaqual i
    fi
    ednannytohel
    p,when
    yougotowork,heneedssomeonewhocan
    takecar
    eofachil
    dtoremainwithhi
    m.He
    seemstooyougsobecar ef
    ulwhenyouchoose
    t
    hatsomeone.
    ”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    “
    Getwar
    m waterandpr
    epar
    ehi
    smi
    l
    k,hei
    s
    f
    all
    i
    ngasl
    eep.
    ”
    Awhilelat
    erOntl
    aheldhi
    sbottl
    efeedi
    nghim,
    shestoppedthengaveAbebackthebott
    leand
    l
    ayhissonont hebed.
    “
    Ther
    e!”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    Ontl
    ametsil
    aughed.“
    Taki
    ngcareofachi
    l
    d
    needsacert
    ainski
    ll
    .Youj
    ustcan’
    tthi
    nky
    ou
    candoit
    .”
    “
    Ireal
    i
    zedt
    hatt
    oday
    .”
    “Iam gl
    adIcoul
    dhel
    p.Don’
    tmindtaki
    ngme
    back,Iwi
    ll
    makeaplan.Youneedt
    ostaywi
    th
    him.”
    “
    Icanbor
    rowy
    oumycart
    hengeti
    ttomor
    row.
    ”
    “
    Ok.Thatcanwor
    k.”
    Shel ookedathi
    m ashef i
    shedoutt hecarkeys
    fr
    om herpocket,hewasst i
    llhandsomeorev en
    betternow.Hercuriosit
    ygott hebetterofheras
    herey eswenttothatzippicturi
    ngwhatEazi
    hadoncet oldher.Sheputherl egstogether
    tr
    yingt ocont
    rolherthoughts.Shewonder ed
    howi twouldbeifhej ustpi
    nnedheront hewall
    andf uckedher
    “
    Ithi
    nkImi
    spl
    acedt
    hem.
    ”
    “
    Checkont
    hebed.
    ”
    Helookedar
    oundthebet
    tercaref
    ulnott
    o
    dist
    urbhi
    ssonthenl
    aughedpicki
    ngthem f
    rom
    thefl
    oor.
    “
    Ithi
    nkt
    heyf
    ell
    .”
    Herheartpoundedevenmoreashewal
    ked
    over.“
    Youcanr et
    urni
    ttomor
    roworIwi
    l
    lpicki
    t
    up.”
    Shenoddedget
    ti
    ngt
    hekey
    s.
    “
    Ok,
    bye.
    ”
    “
    Thanksagai
    n.”
    “
    It
    ’sok.
    ”
    Shet urnedt
    owalkawaybutt
    henst
    oppedand
    turned.Sheswal
    l
    owedhardandki
    ssedhi
    m
    standingonhert
    oes.
    .
    Li
    keandcommentqui
    ckl
    ysot
    hatwecanhav
    e
    anot
    herbonus.
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #98
    Ontl
    amet
    sist
    eppedbackandputherhandov
    er
    hermout
    hembarrassed.
    “Iam sosorr
    y,Idon’
    tev
    ennowwhyIdi
    dthat
    .I
    am sosorry
    .”
    “Itshouldnev erhappenagai n,Idon’t
    under standhowy outhinkit
    ’sokt odosowhen
    Eazi i
    sy oursister.NowIam st arti
    ngt ot
    hink
    youdon’ treal
    lyl
    ov eher,youareprobably
    env i
    ousofev eryt
    hingshehas.Il oveEaziandI
    woul dnev erlookaty ouinanywayt hati
    snot
    theappr opri
    ateway .Thankyouf orhelpi
    ngwith
    myson.Youcanl eave,Iwil
    lcoll
    ectmycar
    tomor row. ”
    Embar rassed,Ontl
    amet si
    tur
    nedandwalked
    out.Abesatont hebedandshookhi sheadwith
    disbel
    iefwonder i
    ngifitwoul
    dbeagoodi dea
    forhimt otell
    Eazi.Hisphonevi
    brat
    edfrom hi
    s
    pockett henhetookitoutandanswered.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Phemel
    oispr
    egnant
    .”
    “
    Themar
    ri
    edwoman?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Whywoul
    dyoui
    mpr
    egnat
    eamar
    ri
    edwoman?
    ”
    “I
    t’
    salr
    eadyhappenedandeit
    herwayIwasn’t
    surei
    fIcoul
    dactuall
    ygetany
    onepregnant
    .”
    “
    Andnowy
    oudi
    d,whatnow?
    ”
    “
    Shewant
    stoabor
    t.
    ”
    “
    Howf
    ari
    sshe?
    ”
    “
    Goi
    ngt
    o6mont
    hs.
    ”
    “Youmessedup,butisn’
    titdanger
    ousbecause
    nowthebabyisbig?
    ”
    “
    Shei
    sadoct
    or,
    shewi
    l
    luset
    hesaf
    emet
    hod.
    ”
    “
    Idon’tevenknowwhattotell
    you,dat
    inga
    marr
    iedpersonissomethi
    ngelsebutgett
    ing
    t
    hatpersonpregnanti
    sfucker
    yonadiffer
    ent
    l
    evel
    .”
    “
    Ijustwantmybabyt
    hat
    ’sal
    l
    .”
    “
    Isshewi
    l
    li
    ngt
    oleav
    eherhusband?
    ”
    “
    No.Butshedoesn’
    tlov
    ehi
    m.Hei
    swayt
    oool
    d
    f
    orher
    .”
    “Thenstopfight
    ingherandrat
    herconvi
    nceher
    toleaveherhusband.Youcan’
    tfi
    ghtherand
    expecthertoseegoodi nyou.
    ”
    “
    Ifsheabor
    tsmychi
    l
    dshei
    sgoi
    ngt
    oregr
    eti
    t.
    ”
    “Don’
    tletherabor
    tbutdon’
    tfi
    ghtheratt
    he
    sametime.Playyourcar
    dsri
    ght.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lsee,
    didy
    ouspeakt
    oSadi
    .”
    “Yeah,webrokeupandshealr
    eadymovedon.I
    am notgoingtofor
    cehert
    ostaybutshei
    snot
    goinganywherenearmychi
    ld.
    ”
    “
    Wil
    lyouabl
    etot
    akecar
    eofAt
    sil
    eal
    one?
    ”
    “
    Iam r
    eadyf
    ori
    t.Ipr
    eferRonal
    dbyt
    heway
    .”
    Tenadi
    chuckl
    ed.“
    Atsi
    l
    eisni
    ce.
    ”
    “Ineveragr eedt ot hatname, Sadi l
    ether
    mot hernamemysonaf terwehadagr eedona
    name.Somet hingwei rdhappenedt oday,
    Ontlamet sikissedme, Ibumpedi nt
    oheratt he
    storewhenIwasget t
    ingRonal dsomemi lk,she
    saidshewoul dhel pwi tht hebabybecausehe
    wascr ying,wewentbackt ot
    hehot elwhere
    shebat hedanddr essedhi mt henfedhim.Fr om
    thereshej ustki ssedme. ”
    “
    Shedi
    d?Howwasi
    t?”
    “
    Ididn’
    tki
    ssherback.Shei
    sEazi
    ’ssi
    sterand
    t
    hiscandest
    royanychanceIhav
    ewithher.”
    “Andyouar
    eri
    ght,
    shemayt
    wistt
    hest
    oryt
    o
    Eazi
    ,makeyoul
    ookbad.
    ”
    “
    Iwouldnev
    erhi
    tonhersi
    ster
    ,sheknowsi
    t.I
    r
    espectf
    amil
    ywaytoomuch.”
    “Youwouldneverknow.Youshouldtel
    lherfi
    rst
    .
    Behonestwit
    hher .IknowyouloveherandI
    wantyoutogetbackt oget
    her
    ,Iaskedaround
    butthatguyshei sdatingandhei sabig
    i
    nv i
    siblecriminal.Theysuspecthei sinvolv
    edin
    somecocai neoper ati
    onst hatgoeson, bi
    g
    operations.Theysayheget sthem andsel l
    s
    them tobi gmoney edpeopl e,
    af f
    luentpeople,
    heisi noilbusinesswi thNigeriansbutt hey
    suspectt hereismor et oit
    ,alsot heysuspecthe
    smuggl esweaponsandsel lsthem.Hehasal ot
    ofmoneyt hatgoesov erwhathemakeswi thall
    thebusi nesseshehas, soonhei sgoi ngtoget
    caught .
    ”
    “Iwonderi
    fEaziknowsallt
    his.I
    fsheknewshe
    wouldhaveneverwentforhi
    m.Iknowt he
    momentshef i
    ndsoutsheisgoingtoleavehi
    m.
    ShewouldneverendangerMalcol
    ml i
    kethat
    .
    I
    t’sgoi
    ngtohappensooner.”
    “
    Morereasonf
    ory
    outot el
    lherwhathappened
    t
    odaywit
    hOntl
    ametsi
    .”
    “
    Youar
    eri
    ght
    .”
    “
    Ihav
    eani
    ncomi
    ngcal
    l
    ,wewi
    l
    ltal
    k.”
    “
    Sur
    e.”
    Tendai
    hungupt
    henAbet
    hought
    ful
    l
    ytext
    ed
    Eazi
    .

    *
    **

    Idi
    shedandputever
    ythingonthedi
    ningt
    abl
    e.I
    smil
    edproudl
    ythenwalkedtothesi
    tt
    ingr
    oom
    wheret
    hekidsweresi
    tti
    ngalone.
    “
    Guy
    s,comeandeat
    …”
    “
    Iam t
    eachi
    ngKy
    rahowt
    oreadmommy
    .”
    “
    Ok,buti
    t’
    stimetoeatnow,
    comeKy
    ra,
    let
    ’s
    washourhandsandeat.
    ”
    Iledthem t
    othekit
    chenwher
    et heywashed
    thei
    rhandsthensatonthedi
    ningtabl
    ereadyt
    o
    eat.Ismil
    edstar
    ingatKyr
    aunabletoeat
    pr
    oper
    lyf
    rom t
    het
    abl
    e.
    “
    Mal
    c,gett
    hel
    ongerchai
    r.
    ”
    Hegotoffhi
    schai
    rthenrushedtooffi
    cewhere
    hecamebackwiththel
    ongerchair
    .Irepl
    aced
    Kyr
    a’sandpl
    acedheronthelongerchair
    ,
    put
    ti
    ngacushiononitf
    ir
    st.
    “Gr
    eat,nowev
    ery
    onecaneat
    .Wher
    eKy
    ra’
    s
    dad?”
    “
    Hei
    sout
    sidet
    alki
    ngont
    hephone.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iam comi
    ng.
    ”
    Iwal
    kedoutandl
    ookedathi
    m sit
    ti
    ngst
    andi
    ng
    byhi
    scartal
    ki
    ngonthephonethenwal
    kedover
    .
    “
    Comeandeat
    .”
    “
    Giv
    emeami
    nut
    e.”
    “
    Thef
    oodi
    sget
    ti
    ngcol
    d,comenow.
    ”
    Hepul
    l
    edmecloserandput
    ti
    nghisarm ar
    ound
    meandki
    ssedmyneckwhisper
    ing.“
    Justa
    mi
    nut
    e.”
    It
    ookadeepbreat
    hfeel
    i
    nghi sdickonmy
    st
    omachwhil
    emybodyr espondedtohi
    stouch.
    “Canyoupl
    easecomeandeatri
    ghtnow.I
    alr
    eadydi
    shed,
    thefoodi
    sget
    ti
    ngcold.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lsor
    titout
    .”Hehungupt
    henl
    ookedatme.
    “
    Thi
    swasani
    mpor
    tantcal
    l
    .”
    “Soismyf
    ood.Il
    i
    kemyf
    oodeat
    enwheni
    t’
    s
    sti
    l
    lwarm.
    ”
    Hel
    eanedov
    erandki
    ssedme.“
    Yesmama.
    ”
    I
    nsidethehouse,webothsatdownt
    henhe
    j
    oinedhandswiththeki
    ds.
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngonnow?
    ”
    “
    Wear
    epr
    ayi
    ngf
    ort
    hef
    ood,
    smel
    l
    sgood.
    ”
    Ist
    ret
    chedbothhandsthenj
    oinedhandswit
    h
    Kyr
    aandhim ontheothersi
    de.Otengl
    ookedat
    Malc.
    “
    Doy
    ourt
    hingbuddy
    !Justl
    i
    keIt
    aughty
    ou.
    ”
    Weallcl
    osedoureyest
    henMalcol
    mtooka
    shor
    tprayerl
    eav
    ingsur
    pri
    sed.
    “
    Wow,
    thatwasani
    cepr
    ayer
    .”
    “
    Yes,
    yourf
    ri
    endt
    aughtme.
    ”
    Otengl
    ookedatMal
    candl
    aughed.“
    Ok.l
    et’
    s
    eat.
    ”
    “
    Tomor
    rowIwi
    l
    lpr
    ay.
    ”
    Il
    ookedatKy
    raandsmi
    l
    ed.“
    Awesome!
    ”
    Iatesil
    entl
    ylisteningt otheconv ersati
    on
    betweenOt engandt hekids.Awhi l
    elater,I
    rel
    axedinfrontoft heTVwi t
    hKy rawat chinga
    romanticmov iewhi l
    et heboy sdidt hedishes.I
    l
    ookedatt hemar ksonKy ra’
    slegswonder ing
    j
    usthowhermot herf el
    t,shedidn’tlooklikeshe
    caredwhenshewasbeat ingherupl i
    kethat .I
    reachedformyphonet ocheckmymessages
    thenopenedAbe’ smessage.
    Abe: TodayIbumpedint
    oOntlametsi
    andshe
    helpedwithRonal
    d,myson.Aftert
    hatshe
    kissedme, Idi
    dn’
    tki
    ssherbackandIsetthe
    recordstrai
    ght
    .
    Ire-r
    eadthemessageandchuckl edi ndi
    sbel i
    ef
    thenputmyphonedownwat chingt hemov ie.I
    l
    ookedatKy raagai
    nreali
    zi
    ngshewassl eeping
    thenpickedherupandputheri ntheguest
    room.Iwalkedbacktothesit
    tingr oom after
    tucki
    ngherinandfoundMalcol m andOt eng
    watchingsoccer
    .
    “Malc,
    it’
    sbedt
    ime.Goandbr
    ushy
    ourt
    eet
    h.
    Thankyou.”
    “
    But
    -“
    “
    Goodni
    ght
    ,mommyl
    ovesy
    ou.
    ”
    HelookedatOt engwhoshr ugged.“
    Iwil
    lrecor
    d
    thegamef oryou,youcanalwaswat chi
    t.You
    needtorestforyourtestt
    omor row.
    ”
    “
    Ok.Don’
    tfor
    gett
    orecor
    dit
    .”
    “
    Iwon’
    t.
    ”
    Ifoll
    owedaf t
    erhi
    mt omakesurethenwal ked
    outofhisroom andlaymyheadonOt eng’
    slap.
    Isighedasmyphoner angthenIreachedforit
    andanswer edOntl
    ametsi
    ’scal
    l.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Youwon’ tbeli
    vewhathappenedt oday.I
    bumpedi ntoAbeanddeci dedt ohelphim si
    nce
    hisbabywascr yi
    ng,
    from therehekissedme.I
    thinkheistryi
    ngt ot
    akerev engeforhowy ou
    sleptwit
    hTi no.
    ”
    “Idon’
    tcar
    ewhatyouandhim doOnt
    labutI
    knowthetrut
    h.Youcan’
    tfool
    me.”
    “
    Whatdoest
    hatmean?
    ”
    “Exactl
    ythat
    .Goodni
    ght
    ,Iwi
    l
    lseey
    ouon
    Saturday.
    ”
    Ihungandsatupr
    ight
    .
    “
    Mymom l
    eftmeal
    ett
    er.
    ”
    “
    Whatwasshesay
    ing?
    ”
    “
    Idi
    dn’
    tread.Iam scar
    ed,
    whati
    fshe…”
    “Youwi
    llnev
    erknowt
    il
    lyour
    eadi
    t.St
    op
    assumi
    ng.”
    Il
    ookedathimt henwalkedt
    omybedroom
    wherethelet
    terwaslyi
    ngonthedr
    essi
    ngtabl
    e
    andslowlyopenedit
    .

    DearEazi

    Iknowt hedeci si
    onIhav etakenmi ghthur tyou
    ornot,what everthefeeli
    ngsy ouwillhave,I
    don’tbl
    amey ou.Ihav ewrongedy oual ottoa
    pointwher eIwi l
    lacceptwhat ev
    ery oufeel f
    or
    me.Iam sor r
    yIwasn’ tamot herenought oy ou,
    Iam sorryInev erprotect
    edy oubutr at
    her
    hatedyou.Younev erdeservedit,Ipunishedy ou
    forsomet hingthathadnot hi
    ngt odowi t
    hy ou.I
    mety ourf atherinMaunandIf el
    linlovewi th
    him,wewer esupposedt ost ar
    tourf amily
    together,beourownl it
    tl
    ef amilybuthel iedto
    meandr anof f.Fory earsIwasangr yandIt ook
    outthatangerony ou.Myhusbandwhom y ou
    grewupknowi ngasy ourfathernev erlovedy ou
    orwant edy ou, hehatedbot hmeandy ou.It
    wasal sohar df orme, Ili
    vedeachdaywi thpai n.
    Hewoul dbeatmeandabusemet oapoi nt
    whereIhat edhi m mor ethanany t
    hing.Iforgav e
    him cheatingandhav ingOnt lamet sioutsideour
    mar r
    iageasIcoul dn’tconcei veasqui ckashe
    wanted, Itookcar eofhi smi stress’schil
    dwi th
    nothingbutl ovey ethef ail
    edt oaccepty ouf ully
    .
    Hepr etendedt obutdeepdownhedespi sed
    you.Andt hel asttimehel aidhandsonmewas
    thelasttimehebr eathed.
    Ikil
    l
    edhi m becauseIwasti
    red.Tiredoft
    heli
    fe
    Iwasl i
    vi
    ng.Iwasscaredfory ou,
    y ouwer
    e
    growingandhewasget ti
    ngt ooclosetoyou,
    I
    fearedsomet
    hingwoul
    dhappent oy
    ousoI
    kil
    ledhi
    m andIhavenoregr
    ets.
    Yourf at heriscalledLeonar dMackenzi e,i
    t’
    s
    hi
    m.Iam sur e.Iam sor r
    yf orlyi
    ngtoy ou.Ihav e
    decidedt oendmyownj our neybecauseIbr ing
    mor epai nthanhappi nesst ot hosearoundme
    becauseofmywi ckedway s.Iknowy ouar e
    goingt obesomeonebi gandGodwi llblessy ou
    wit
    ht hel i
    fey ouhav ealway swant ed.Ileavemy
    housei ny ourname, Iaskedsomeonet ohelp
    mechangeowner shipnames.Youcansel li
    tdo
    what ev ery ouwant .It’
    sfine, t
    hat’
    syour
    i
    nher itance.

    Itookadeepbr eat
    handputawaythelett
    er
    wonderingifOntl
    amet
    sihadreadhersandif
    sheactuall
    ytol
    dherabouthermother.

    *
    **
    Tendaidroveinsi
    dePhemel o’
    syardandparked
    besideshercarthensteppedoutwhil
    ePhemelo
    stoodbythedoorst ar
    ingathi
    m.Wi t
    houther
    coatheactuall
    ycouldseehowbi gherbump
    was.
    Hehuggedherwit
    hasi
    gh.“
    Iam nother
    eto
    ar
    guewithyou.
    ”
    Shenoddedt
    ear
    ful
    l
    ythenl
    edhi
    minsi
    det
    he
    house.
    “
    Howar
    eyouf
    eel
    i
    ng?
    ”
    “Iam scared.Youdon’ tknowmyhusband.
    Whent hischilddoesn’tcomel
    ooki
    nglikehi
    m,
    heisgoingt okillmeandhewon’tl
    etmedi e
    alone,hewillkil
    lyoutoo.”
    “Youshouldl
    eavehim,thi
    sisnott
    hekindofl
    i
    fe
    youshouldbeli
    vi
    ng.Youbarel
    yseehim,he
    barel
    yseeshischi
    ld.Youaret
    ooyoungfor
    him.”
    “
    Youdon’
    tunder
    stand.
    ”
    “Iunderst
    andandIknowIcantr
    eatyoubett
    er,
    allyouhavetodoi
    strustmeandleavehi
    m.”
    Hel
    eanedov
    erandki
    ssedherunt
    yingherr
    ob.

    *
    **

    Meanwhi l
    e,Phemo’shusbandjumpedof facar
    l
    aughi ngthenlookedatthecarparkedinside
    hisyardashi scoll
    eaguedroveaway .He
    thoughtfull
    ylookedatthecarwonder i
    ngifshe
    hadaf r
    iendoverbutitwastoolat
    ef orafriend.
    Het ookouthi sphoneandcall
    edhiscol l
    eague.
    “
    SK,comeback,
    Ithi
    nkt
    her
    eissomeone
    f
    ucki
    ngmywife.
    ”
    “
    Hei
    sdead.
    ”
    “
    Ony
    etset
    oday
    .Kemot
    swer
    e.”
    Hedroppedt hecallthenpressedhisgate
    remote.Hewal kedinsidecl
    osingthegateand
    wenttot hedoortry
    ingt ohearsomethingbut
    hecouldonlyheartheTV.Heopenedt hedoor
    andwal kedin,
    Phemel olookedathim surpr
    ised
    thenstoodupsmi li
    ng.
    “
    Youar
    ebackbaby
    !”
    “
    Who’
    scari
    sout
    side?
    ”
    “Oh,i
    t’
    sSone’
    scar.Shepi
    ckedmeupt henher
    husbandpi
    ckedherupduri
    nglunchsoIhadno
    choi
    cebuttobri
    nghercarwit
    h.”
    Helookedather
    .“Real
    l
    y?Di
    dshegetanew
    car
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “That’
    snice,
    letmecall
    herhusbandandtel
    l
    him Iwil
    lhavesomeonedropi
    toffri
    ghtnow.
    ”
    Phemel
    o’shear
    tski
    ppedasherhusbandt
    ook
    hi
    sphoneanddial
    edSone’
    shusbandputt
    ing
    t
    hephoneonl
    oudspeaker
    .
    .
    Afterl
    iki
    ngandcomment ingonthei nsert
    ,
    pleaseli
    kesponsor'
    spageaswel l.I
    tdoes'tt
    ake
    anythi
    ngfrom youtoliket hatpage,please
    supportmei nthi
    svent ureanddr opal i
    kefor
    tomorrow'sbonusinser t
    .Afteryoulikeand
    commentouri nsert
    ,li
    ket hesponsor 'spage.

    htt
    ps:/
    /www.facebook.
    com/
    Chi
    huz-
    Eat
    s-
    111024577316471/
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #99

    Thephoner
    angf
    orawhi
    l
    eti
    l
    lSone’
    shusband
    answer
    ed.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Yahsur
    e,it
    ’sPotl
    ako,Ihav
    easkedsomeonet
    o
    dropofyourwif
    e’scar
    .”
    “
    Mywi
    fe’
    scar
    ?”
    “
    Yes,
    theHi
    l
    uxGD6.
    ”
    “Ohh,i
    t’
    sfi
    ne,
    Sonewill
    pickitupt
    omorr
    ow
    becausewearecur
    rent
    lynothome.”
    “Ok,whydoy
    oul
    ety
    ourwi
    fedr
    ivesuchabi
    g
    car.
    ”
    Sone’
    shusbandl
    aughed.“
    Youknowhow
    womenare,whenshewantsomethi
    ng,
    she
    wantsi
    t.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    eri
    ghtaboutt
    hat
    ,wewi
    l
    ltal
    k.”
    “
    Sur
    e.”
    Pot
    lakodr
    oppedt
    hecal
    lthenki
    ssedhi
    swi
    fe.
    “
    Howi
    sthebaby
    ?”
    “
    Thebabyi
    sfi
    ne.Youar
    enotgoi
    ngany
    mor
    e?”
    “Iam,butt
    omorr
    ow.Iwi
    l
    lbebackaf
    tera
    coupl
    eofmonths.
    ”
    Shenoddednotsur
    pri
    sed.“
    Doy
    ouwant
    anyt
    hingt
    oeat?”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    Phemelowal
    kedtotheki
    tchenthenopenedthe
    pant
    ryandwalkedi
    nsi
    de.Tendail
    ookedather.
    “Youwil
    ll
    eav
    ewhenwegot obedandyouare
    goingt
    ohavetol
    eavet
    hecarandcarkey
    s.He
    hasagunandIdon’
    twantt
    odie.
    ”
    “Il
    oveyou.Thi
    sisnott
    hekindofli
    fey
    ou
    shoul
    dbel i
    vi
    ng.Whyarey
    ouwi t
    hhim?”
    “
    Ilov
    edhi
    m.”
    “
    Youdon’
    tany
    mor
    e,Icanmakey
    ouhappy
    .”
    Phemelolookedathim ast
    earsrandownher
    cheeks.“
    IloveyoubutIam scar
    ed.”
    “Iam her
    eandIalsoknowpeopl ewhoknow
    peopl
    e.Justbecauseheownsagundoesn’ t
    meanhei sdangerous.Icanpr
    otecty
    ou,t
    rust
    mebabe, gi
    vemeachance. ”
    “
    Iam scar
    ed.
    ”
    “Iam her
    e,youdon’thavetobescared.Iknow
    youaremarriedoutofcommuni t
    yofpr oper
    ty.
    Thereisnot
    hingholdingyouback.Promiseme
    tomorrowyouwilll
    eav ehi
    m?”
    Phemel
    olookedathi
    m andnodded.“
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    ldeal
    wit
    hev
    ery
    thi
    ngel
    se.Il
    ovey
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    Hepull
    edherinf
    oraki
    ssthenl
    etherwal
    kout
    whi
    lehetext
    edsomeone.

    *
    **
    Thefol
    lowi
    ngmorni
    ng,Istoppedt
    hecarnear
    Malcol
    m’scl
    asst
    henturnedtohim andhugged
    hi
    m.
    “
    Bye,
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oomommy
    .”
    Ismil
    edandwatchedhim getoutandrunt
    ohis
    cl
    ass,hi
    scoachapproachedmywi ndowand
    smil
    ed.
    “
    HeyEazi
    .”
    “
    Hi,
    howar
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Ihav
    ebeengood.
    ”
    “
    That
    ’sgr
    eat
    ,youguy
    sar
    eonbr
    eak?
    ”
    “
    Butwewi
    l
    lsooncont
    inue.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    wel
    lni
    ceseei
    ngy
    ouar
    ound.
    ”
    Hesmil
    ed.“
    Uhhdoyouwanttogoout
    somet
    imeforl
    unchordi
    nner
    ?”
    Ichuckl
    ed.“
    Thatwoul
    dbeni
    cei
    fIwasn’
    tina
    commi
    tt
    edr
    elat
    ionshi
    p.By
    e!”
    Idrov
    eoffl
    aughi
    ng,Ot
    engcal
    l
    edasIpar
    kedmy
    caratMal
    col
    m Refr
    esher
    s.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Heymama,
    droppedof
    ftheki
    ds?
    ”
    “Yes,doyouthi
    nki
    t’
    sagoodideatosti
    llt
    ake
    Kyratothesameschool
    ?WhatifRebaone
    comest opi
    ckherup?Theyknowherasher
    mot her
    .”
    “
    Iwil
    lcal
    ltheschoolandexpl
    aint
    hesi
    tuat
    ion,
    i
    t’
    snothi
    ngseri
    ous.”
    “I
    tis,samewayIcoul dn’
    tstopheristhesame
    wayt heschoolwon’tbeabl etostopher.The
    socialworkeri
    sstil
    linvesti
    gati
    ngthecase
    meani ngshehasn’tbeenf oundguil
    tyor
    anything.Iam j
    ustwor ri
    ed.”
    “Youdon’
    thav
    etowor r
    yaboutthat
    ,nothi
    ngis
    goingt
    ohappen,
    trustme.Anyways,Iam goi
    ng
    t
    oSAri
    ghtnow,Ihavetosor
    toutsomet
    hing.I
    wi
    ll
    bebackbyt
    onight.
    ”
    “
    Whatar
    eyousor
    ti
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Busi
    ness.
    ”
    "
    Whatbusi
    ness?
    "
    “Iwil
    ltel
    lyouify ouneedtoknowbecause
    remember ,youcan’ttel
    lanyt
    hingt
    oany one
    wheny oudon’ tknowanythi
    ng,youhave
    nothi
    ngt olose.JustknowIam sorti
    ngout
    something.Nomor equesti
    onsaboutthat,
    right
    mama? ”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    “
    Good.Iwi
    l
    lseey
    out
    oni
    ght
    .”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    Ist
    eppedoutofmycart
    henwal
    kedi
    nsi
    demy
    bui
    l
    dingwi
    thasmi
    l
    e.
    “
    Hey
    ,anymessagesf
    orme?
    ”
    Therecepti
    onistsmil
    ed.“
    Yes,
    yourPAcoll
    ect
    ed
    them al
    lbuttherei
    ssomethi
    ngthatj
    ustcame.
    This.
    ”
    Shehandedmeasmall
    boxt
    oget
    herwi
    thabi
    g
    bouqetofr
    edr
    oses.
    “
    Wow!Thanks.
    ”
    Iwalkedwi tht
    hem tomyoffi
    cewher eIopened
    thesmal lboxandtookoutcarkeys.Myheart
    skippedthenIgrabbedthenotefr
    om the
    fl
    ower s.

    ‘
    Somethi
    ngnewt
    omov
    ear
    oundwi
    th,
    you
    deser
    vei
    t.
    Lookout
    side.
    Ot
    ti
    e’
    “
    No!
    ”
    Ilookedatthecarkeysagai
    nthenwalkedov er
    tomywi ndowandl ookeddown.AgrayishAudi
    RSQ3Spor t
    backwaspar kedwitharedribbon
    aroundit
    .Tearsfi
    ll
    edmyey esthenIgrabbed
    myphoneandcal ledhim.
    “
    Heymama…”
    “
    Youdi
    dn’
    thav
    eto.
    ”
    “
    Iwoul
    ddoany
    thi
    ngf
    ormygi
    rlEazi
    .”
    Icover
    edmymout
    hcr
    ying.“
    Thanky
    ou.I
    t’
    s
    beauti
    ful
    .”
    “
    Notmor
    ethany
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou,
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “Il
    oveyoumore.Iam get
    ti
    ngi
    nameet
    ing,
    Iwi
    l
    l
    cal
    lyouback.
    ”
    Hehungupt
    henIwentov
    ert
    othewi
    ndowj
    ust
    asmyPAwal
    kedi
    n.
    “
    Mrs.Taf
    ir
    a-“
    “
    Ngng,Modi
    se.MsModi
    se.Ichangedbackt
    o
    mysur
    name.
    ”
    “
    Oh,
    sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok.
    ”
    “Theyareher
    e,wai
    ti
    ngf
    ory
    oui
    nthe
    boardr
    oom.”
    “
    Ok,
    Iam comi
    ng.
    ”
    Shewal kedout henIzoomedinthecar
    standi
    ngf r
    om t hewindowwithmyphoneand
    snappedapi cturewhichIpost
    edonmy
    facebookprivateaccountt
    henwalkedoutwi
    th
    asmi l
    e.

    *
    **
    Ontlametsistaredathermot her’
    slettersitt
    ing
    ont hefl
    oor,shehadbeensi t
    ti
    ngont hefloor
    si
    ncesher eadi tlastnightandshecoul dn’t
    evenbr i
    ngher sel
    ftogetup.Herkneeswer eso
    weakandshecoul dn’tseem tostophert ears.
    Herphonebegunr i
    ngingy etagai
    n, shestared
    atitknowingshehadt ogettowor k,she
    coveredherfacecr yi
    ngoutt hepaint hatkept
    breakingherrelentlessl
    y.

    *
    **

    Meanwhi l
    eoutsi
    de,Abestoodi nfrontofher
    doorholdi
    nghissont hentr
    iedopeni ngthedoor.
    Thedooropenedt henhewal kedin,hecould
    act
    uall
    yhearhercr i
    esfrom thesit
    tingroom.He
    cl
    osedthedoorbehi ndhim andwal kedoverto
    wherethecri
    eswher ecomingf rom.He
    swall
    owedhardst ari
    ngatOnt l
    amet sicurl
    edup
    toabal
    lcr
    yingt
    henplacedhissonint
    hemi
    ddl
    e
    oft
    hebedandcrouchedbeforeher
    .
    “
    Hey
    …what
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “
    Mama….
    ”
    Sheslowl ypoi
    ntedatalet
    erwhichhegotand
    read.Hisheartpoundedwitheachsent
    enceti
    ll
    thelastthenheputthelet
    terdownshocked.
    “
    Yourmot
    her
    …wher
    eisshe?
    ”
    “
    Sheki
    l
    ledher
    sel
    f.
    ”
    “
    Andshel
    eftt
    hatl
    ett
    er?
    ”
    “
    Ng…”
    Abepickedupt
    hel
    ett
    erf
    ull
    wit
    hnot
    hingbutv
    il
    e
    words.
    “
    Shehat
    edme…”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    Hepul
    ledheri
    nforahugwhi
    l
    eshecr i
    ed
    wet
    ti
    nghist-
    shi
    rt
    .Hecoul
    dhearherpai
    nfr
    om
    hercri
    esunsureifevershewi
    ll
    bef i
    neafterthat
    l
    etter
    ,theful
    li
    nteti
    onofitwasclear
    lytojust
    destr
    oyherbecauseshewasherf ather
    ’s
    daughter
    .
    “
    Iam sor
    ry,
    nobodydeser
    vest
    hat
    .”
    “
    Shehat
    edme,
    sheki
    l
    ledmyf
    ather
    …”
    “Shewrotethatl
    ett
    ert
    obreaky
    ou,don’
    tlerher
    succeed,youknowyouar
    emorethanwhat ’
    sin
    thatl
    ett
    er.
    ”
    “
    Iam not
    ,Iam whatshesay
    sIam.
    ”
    “Every
    bodymakesmi st
    akes,i
    tdoesn’
    tmean
    that’
    swhoy ouar
    e.Ihavemadeal otof
    mistakes,
    Iknowalotpercei
    vemeasabad
    personandIdon’
    tbalmethem.Buthonest
    ly
    that’
    snotwhoIam.”
    “
    Idon’
    that
    eany
    one.
    ”
    “
    Iknow.
    ”
    Hehel
    dheri
    nhi
    sar
    mst
    il
    lshewasj
    ustqui
    et.
    Hel ookedatherandr eali
    zedshehadf all
    en
    asleept henpickedherupandpl acedheront he
    bed.Hel ookedather ,shewasn’ tli
    ghtlikeEazi
    butshewasbeaut i
    ful.Fort hefi
    rstti
    mehet ook
    hi
    st imest ari
    ngather , i
    fonehadt obumpi nto
    herint hegr i
    ocerr
    yst ore,hewoul dnev er
    suspectshewasasol dier
    .Hershor thairfi
    ther
    perfectly.Hepickedhi scarkey sfrom her
    dressingt abl
    ethengr abbedt heletterandputit
    i
    nhi spocket .Hepickedhi ssonandwal kedout
    herhousei nhopest hatshewoul dthinkabout
    herkidsbef oreshedoesany thi
    ng.

    *
    **

    Latert
    hatday
    ,Isteppedoutofmynewcar
    answeri
    ngmyr i
    ngingphone.
    “
    Bina…”
    “
    Hey
    ,howar
    eyouhol
    dingup?
    ”
    “
    Iam f
    ine.
    ”
    “
    Real
    l
    y?”
    “
    Yes,
    Iam f
    ine.
    ”
    “
    Howi
    sourcousi
    n?”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Wear
    efi
    ne.
    ”
    “
    OurDr
    ake!
    ”
    “
    Ijusthopei
    twor
    ksout
    .”
    “
    Ify
    oudon’
    tcheati
    twi
    l
    l.”
    “
    Hegotmeacar
    .”
    Bi
    nalaughed.“
    Yousee?Iam r
    eadyf
    ort
    he
    weddi
    ng.”
    “
    Wow!
    ”
    “
    Yes.Iam r
    eadyf
    ort
    heweddi
    ng,
    heshoul
    d
    marr
    yyou.”
    “
    Iam meet
    ingsomeone,
    Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lyouback.
    ”
    “
    Ok.Byt
    heway
    ,doesn’
    thehav
    eanybr
    other
    sor
    cousi
    ns?Ev
    enuncl
    es.
    ”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Bye!
    ”
    Iwal
    kedinsidetherest
    uarntandi
    mmediat
    ely
    spot
    tedLina.Iwalkedovert
    ohertabl
    eandsat
    down.Shesmi l
    ed.
    “
    Hi…”
    “
    Hey
    .”
    Webothlookedateachotherunsureofwhatt
    o
    say
    .Secondspassedasitgotmor eandmore
    awkward.Ev
    entual
    l
    ywebur stint
    olaught
    er.
    “It
    houghti
    twoul
    dbesoeasyl
    i
    kewal
    ki
    ngi
    n
    court
    .”
    “
    All
    Iam t
    hinki
    ngi
    sthef
    ir
    stt
    imeImety
    ou.
    ”
    “Iam st
    il
    lembarssed,
    lewenammay oucal
    l
    ed
    outloudthatmycardwasdecl
    i
    ning.
    ”
    “
    Idi
    dn’
    t!
    ”
    Shel
    aughed.“
    Youdi
    dandpeopl
    esaw.Iwasso
    embar ssed,kanaTendai
    hadcutmeof fthat
    dayandIdi dn’tknowbythen.Theny ouare
    theretell
    ingmemycar disdecli
    ning.Iwanted
    tojustdie.”
    “
    Ngng,
    justacceptt
    haty
    ouar
    erude.
    ”
    “
    Iam ni
    ce.
    ”
    “
    Youwer
    enotni
    cet
    omeatAbe’
    shouse.
    ”
    “HonestlyIwasjustinti
    midated.BeforeTendai,
    therewasAbeandIt houghtitwouldbehi m but
    hehookedmeupwi thhisbrotherbecausehe
    didn’
    tseemel ikethat.Soitwasjealousy,
    i
    nt i
    midati
    onndhur tinallonethatday.ButIam
    sorry.Ij
    ustwanttocancel outthosemoment s
    andst ar
    toveragain.
    ”
    “
    Ihav
    ebeenl
    ongov
    ert
    hat
    .”
    “Youar
    eani ceper
    son,
    Iwi
    shIwasy
    oubutI
    holdgr
    udges.”
    “
    Grudgest
    akeawayy
    ourpeace,
    ther
    eisnot
    hing
    goodaboutt
    hem.
    ”
    Lina’
    sphonerangt
    henshepi
    cked.“
    Hel
    l
    o…
    yes…ok…it’
    sok…bye.
    ”
    Shehungupandputherphonedownthough
    thesadnessi
    nherey
    esdidn’
    tgounnot
    iced.
    “
    Ever
    ythi
    ngok?
    ”
    “
    Yeah,Iwassupposedt
    oadoptababyf
    rom
    t
    hisl
    adybutshehaschangedhermi
    nd.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Iwil
    lkeeptakingt
    reat
    ment
    ,may
    besomet
    hing
    wi
    ll
    wor kout.
    ”
    “
    Itwi
    l
    l,i
    fyoubel
    i
    eve.
    ”
    “
    Shoul
    dweor
    der
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Myphonev
    ibr
    atedt
    henIr
    eachedf
    ori
    t.
    “
    Hi…”
    “
    Heymama,
    wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Iam hav
    ingl
    unchwi
    thmysi
    ster
    .”
    “
    Ok,Iam f
    lyi
    ngoutnow,
    Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lyouonceI
    l
    and.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    Hedroppedthecal
    lthenki
    ssedme.Ismi
    l
    ed
    i
    nhal
    i
    nghi sscent
    .
    “
    Arey
    oust
    alki
    ngme?
    ”
    “No, Ihadtopi
    cksomethi
    ngfrom her
    ethenI
    sawy ou.
    ”Hetuckedmyhairbehi
    ndmyearand
    kissedmeagai n.
    “
    Arey
    oust
    il
    lgoi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Yeah,
    now.Iwi
    l
    lseey
    oul
    ater
    ,don’
    twai
    tup.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    InoddedthenhegaveLi
    naanodandwal
    ked
    away.Shelookedatmeandl
    aughed.
    “
    Indeed,
    badboy
    sbr
    ingheav
    ent
    oyou.Be
    car
    eful
    .”
    “
    Stopscar
    ingme.
    ”
    Linalaughed.“It
    ’stool
    atetobescar
    ed,youare
    alreadyintoodeepandy ouarest
    il
    lfal
    l
    ing.
    Thoseki ndofmenhav ethatki
    ndofpowerwi t
    h
    them, t
    het hr
    il
    landhesurecanlovehardert
    han
    anymany ouhav ebeenwit
    h,sobecareful
    ,
    wat chyourstep.”
    Igrabbedherj
    uiceandtookasi
    p.”Pi
    tywedon’
    t
    choosewhot ofal
    lfor
    .”
    “
    Andt
    hatonei
    sthedev
    il
    ’sson.
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tregr
    ethi
    m.”
    Wel
    aughedt
    henor
    der
    ed.

    THREEYEARSLATER
    .
    .
    Don'
    tfor
    gett
    oli
    keandcomment
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #100

    Tsotlhesatinfrontofthemi r
    rorinthethen
    sprayedthesett
    ingspr ayonherf ace.She
    stoodupi nherl
    ongpenci lheel
    st hengrabbed
    herhandbagandwal kedoutholdingcarkeys.
    Shejoinedherhusbandont hediningtabl
    eand
    pouredherselfj
    uice.
    “
    Youl
    ookamazi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Thanks,
    Iam soner
    vous.
    ”
    “Thereisnoneedt
    obenervous,t
    heysaw
    somet hi
    nginyout
    hat
    ’swhytheyhir
    edyou.You
    gotthis.
    ”
    Tsotl
    hetookasipofherj
    uicet
    henst
    oodup.
    “Thanksbabe.
    ”
    “
    Youdi
    dn’
    teat
    .”
    “Iam t
    oonervoustoeat,It
    hinkIwi
    llgoearl
    y
    andjustsetupmyof f
    ice.
    ”Shehuggedhimt hen
    walkedout.Herphonerangasshegotinthe
    car.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Hi
    ,Mr.Mothusi
    woul
    dli
    ket
    oseey
    ouassoon
    asyouarr
    ive.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Thepersonalassi stanthungup, Tsot l
    he
    rever
    sedthenst artedt hecarandr eversed.At
    herworkplace, shepar kedt hecart hencat
    walkedinsi
    det hebui lding.Inherof f
    ice,she
    openedtheblindsandsmi led.Nowt hiswasit,
    theoffi
    cewassospaci ousandbi g,atleastshe
    wasn’tshar
    ing.Shef i
    xedacoupl eoft hings
    thenfi
    nall
    ywal kedoutgoi ngtoherboss’ s
    offi
    ce.Sheknockedsof tl
    ythenwal kedi n.
    “
    Goodmor
    ningSi
    r,y
    ouwantt
    oseeme?
    ”
    “
    Youmaysi
    t.
    ”
    Shesatdownt
    henhepassedaf
    ewf
    il
    est
    oher
    .
    “
    Tsot
    lher
    ight
    ?”
    “
    Yessi
    r.
    ”
    “Right,Igetthaty ouar enewbutbusi ness
    needst okeepgoi ng.Iam kindohappyt hatyou
    sti
    llhav efreshbl ood, youaref reshfrom school
    meani ngy ouar egoi ngt odot hingspr operl
    y.
    Now, y ouseet hosef il
    es,i
    t’
    st her ecentproj
    ect
    wej ustgot ,wedi dn’thav eany onet otakeitand
    nowy ouareher e.It’
    sabi gproj ectasy oucan
    see, i
    twoul dhav ebeenassi gnedt othebigfish
    butsincey ouar eher e,youareal soan
    i
    mpor tantfactorandt hiswil
    lgi veyouachance
    toshowcasey ourabi l
    iti
    es.Iassi gnyouast his
    project’smanager .”
    “
    Yessi
    r.
    ”
    “Good,
    youcangotoyouroff
    ice,
    byt
    heway
    ,I
    hopeyoufoundi
    tpl
    easi
    ng.”
    “
    Idi
    d,t
    hanky
    ouv
    erymuch.
    ”
    Shest oodupandwalkedouthol
    dingthefi
    l
    es
    passingamanwhowaswal ki
    nginsi
    dethe
    off
    ice.Themanclosedthedoorandlookedat
    Owen.
    “
    Whot
    hef
    ucki
    sthat
    ?”
    Owenl
    aughed.“
    Stayawayf
    rom mywor
    ker
    s.”
    “
    Thatonet
    akest
    hecr
    eam.Who’
    she?
    ”
    “Anewstaf
    fmember
    .St
    ayawayf
    rom her
    Khumo.
    ”
    “
    Youwanther
    ?”
    “Shei
    samarri
    edwoman, ei
    therwayIdon’
    tmi
    x
    busi
    nesswi
    thpl
    easur
    e.”
    “
    SheIbeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    Owenl
    eanedbackonhi
    schai
    rlooki
    ngathi
    s
    y
    oungerbr
    other
    .“Whatdoy
    ouwant
    ?”
    “
    Ihav
    eadealfory
    ou.ButIneedt
    oknow,
    do
    y
    ouwanther
    ?”
    “
    Stayawayf
    rom Tsot
    lhe,
    shei
    sof
    fli
    mit
    sandI
    meanit
    .”
    “
    Sheist
    ent
    imesbett
    erl
    ooki
    ngthant
    hat
    womanmamawantedtohooky
    ouupwith.
    ”
    “Therewasnot hingwr ongwi t
    hMapul aand
    that
    ’swhywear est i
    llfr
    iendstoday,
    shedidn’
    t
    evenlikemeliket hat.Sheismat ur
    eandcalm, I
    wouldactuall
    ygof orherbuttoherIam mor e
    l
    ikeherbrother,Iam happywi thwhatever.
    ”
    “
    Soy
    ouact
    ual
    l
    yli
    keher
    ?”
    “
    Yeah,
    why
    ?”
    Khumoqui
    cklysmil
    ed.“
    No,
    justaski
    ng.Let
    ’s
    gett
    obusi
    ness.”

    *
    **
    Sadi
    lookedar
    oundt
    hepl
    ott
    hensmi
    l
    ed.
    “
    Ili
    kei
    t,Icanal
    readyseemyhouset
    her
    e.”
    Theladyl
    aughed.“
    It
    ’sbi
    g,af
    ami
    l
    yhomecanf
    it
    her
    e.”
    “Yes,
    Icanseei
    ttoo.Mymanwi
    l
    lsor
    toutt
    he
    payments.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    Sadipushedherbumpt othecarthengotin.
    Shelookedathersonatthebackseatsleeping
    thenstar
    tedthecaranddrovehome.Awhi l
    e
    l
    atershetookhersonandwal kedwithhim
    i
    nsidethehousewhereshelayhim onthebed
    thentookherphoneandcall
    edKane.
    “
    Heybabe…”
    Sadi
    smi
    l
    ed.“
    Hey
    ,Isawt
    hepl
    ot.
    ”
    “
    And?
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eit
    ,babeIcanal
    readyseeourhouseand
    t
    hepool
    .Theploti
    sbi
    g.Iam inl
    ove.”
    “
    Ok,
    shoul
    dImakepay
    ment
    ?”
    “
    Yes.Iwantust
    ost
    artbui
    l
    ding.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    lsor
    titout
    .Imi
    ssy
    ouandt
    heki
    ds.
    ”
    Sadir
    ubbedherstomach.“
    Wemi ssy
    out
    oo.I
    hatei
    twhenevery
    ouflytoGabor
    one.
    ”
    “
    Met
    oo,
    butIwi
    l
    lbebacksoon.
    ”
    “Iknow.Didy
    ouspeakt
    oyourmot
    herabout
    Karabo?”
    “Yeah,shei
    snotfeel
    i
    ngwell,
    Iwasthi
    nki
    ng
    may bewecandrophim of
    fatyourmot
    her’
    s
    house.”
    “
    Shewi
    l
    ldemandcr
    azymoney
    .”
    “Wewil
    lj
    usthavet
    ogiveherorwewon’
    tbe
    abl
    etogoforthev
    acat
    ion.
    ”
    Sadi
    sighed.“
    Yeah,
    Iwi
    l
    ltal
    ktoher
    ”
    “
    Ok.Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lyoul
    ater
    .Il
    ovey
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    Sadi
    hungupandr
    eluct
    ant
    lycal
    l
    edhermot
    her
    .
    “Hell
    o,Iwant
    edtot al
    ktoyouaboutdr
    opping
    KarabooverbecauseKaneandIaregoingfora
    vacati
    on.”
    “Al
    lyouknowisdr oppingyouruglychil
    dhere
    yetyoucan’
    tevenr enovat
    ey ourmother’
    s
    house.Youareli
    vi
    ngt hebiglif
    ebuty ourf
    amil
    y
    i
    ssuf f
    eri
    ng.
    ”
    “Maatla,
    Idon’thav
    etimef ory ou,
    howabout
    yougoandl ookforyourchildren’
    sfat
    herso
    l
    esegont ena!Whatdoy oudoexpectpop
    babieseachandev er
    yyearl i
    keababymaki ng
    machine?Youdon’twor k,youdon’tbr
    ingany
    moneyhomeexpectf r
    om bur deni
    ngthisfami
    ly
    fur
    thermore,lookatyourselfandthenlookat
    meorMash.Wear ebot hdegr eehol
    dersand
    wear eworking.Mashisgetti
    ngmar ri
    ed,r
    ragwe
    Karaboisgoingt omarrymesoonaf ter
    ,what
    aboutyou?Al ly
    oudoi sopeny ourugl
    ymout h
    andtalknothingbutnonsense.Ihavehad
    enoughofy ou.”
    “
    Ohhh,
    sot
    hisi
    showy
    out
    alkt
    omenow?
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    ltal
    ktoy
    ouany
    howIwant
    .”
    “
    Youmustt
    hinky
    ouar
    eal
    lthat
    .”
    “Iam al
    lthatwhi
    l
    ey ouar
    enothi
    ngbuta
    communi tywhor
    ewi t
    hyourl
    osepussy
    .Gi
    ve
    mamaherphone. ”
    “
    Iam goi
    ngt
    obeaty
    ouand-
    “
    “
    AndIwil
    lmakesureyougotoj
    ailt
    hentakemy
    mot
    herandl
    eaveyourki
    dstosuf
    feral
    lalone.
    ”
    Maatl
    ahungupt
    henSadi
    cli
    ckedhert
    ongue
    di
    ali
    ngMash.
    “
    Sadi
    …”
    “
    Youwon’
    tbel
    i
    eveMaat
    la.
    ”
    Masegol aughed.“Iam soov erthatbitt
    er
    woman, andt othi
    nkIusedt ogetadv isefrom
    her
    .Iembar rassedmy sel
    fallbecauseofher
    andti
    llt
    odayIcan’ tfacecertainpeople.Sheis
    sobit
    ter
    , Iheardshei spregnantagain.”
    “Idon’
    tcare,Iam notgoi
    ngtosuppor
    therki
    ds.
    Letthem eatsoi
    l,Idon’
    tcar
    e.”
    “Lennatl
    hammaIam notgoi ngtogiv
    eherany
    singl
    ethebe.Idon’tevenwantheratmy
    wedding,shewill
    br i
    nghernaughtydi
    rtyki
    ds
    andembar rassme.”
    Theladiesl
    aughed.“Iwantmamatotakecar
    e
    ofKarabo,Kaneistaki
    ngmef orav
    acati
    on.
    ”
    “Takemamaandbr i
    nghert oyourhouse,she
    will
    takecar
    eofKaraboiny ourhouseandwhen
    youcomebacky oujustret
    urnher.I
    fy out
    ake
    Karabother
    e,Maatl
    awi l
    labusehim Iam t
    ell
    i
    ng
    you.”
    “
    Thatsoundsl
    i
    keapl
    an.
    ”
    “I
    tis.Trustme,
    justt
    akemamaandbr inghert
    o
    yourhouseandleavethatsaggyt
    it
    tswoman
    alonethere.
    ”
    “Iwil
    ldojustt
    hat
    .Any
    way
    s,hav
    eyouf
    oundt
    he
    dress?”
    “Idi
    dandit’
    sbeauti
    ful
    .Iwil
    lshowy
    ou.You
    shouldcomeforfi
    tt
    ings.
    ”
    “
    Tomor
    rowr
    ight
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lbet
    her
    e.”

    *
    **

    Latert
    hatday,Ipi
    ckedupthekidsf
    rom thei
    r
    schoolswi
    thAlanaattheback.Mal
    colm goti
    n
    thecarcar
    ryi
    ngbothhisbagandKy r
    a’s.Behi
    nd
    him wasKyrawithadir
    tyuni
    form.
    “
    Whathappened…”
    “
    Kgot
    lapushedKy
    raandIpunchedhi
    m.”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “Hepushedherwhenshewasj
    ustsi
    tt
    ingsoI
    punchedhi
    m.Heiscryi
    ng.
    ”
    Il
    ookedatKyr
    awhowascr
    yingsi
    l
    ent
    lyt
    hen
    st
    eppedoutofthecar
    .
    “
    Wher
    eisy
    ourt
    eacherKy
    ra?
    ”
    “
    Incl
    ass.
    ”
    “
    Come,
    bot
    hofy
    ou.
    ”
    ItookAlanafr
    om t
    hebackandwal kedwit
    hher
    towardsKyra’
    scl
    ass.Ky
    ra’
    steacherstoodup
    smili
    ng.
    “
    MsModi
    se…”
    “
    Hi.
    ”
    Theteacherl
    ookedatKy
    rawi
    thaf
    rown.“
    Kyr
    a,
    whathappened?”
    “
    Kgot
    lapushedme.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    Isi
    ghed.“Idon’
    tthi
    nkmychil
    dissaf
    eint
    his
    schoolbecauseti
    metoti
    meagainsomet
    hingi
    s
    goingon.Lookhowdir
    tysheis.
    ”
    “Icansee,Iam r
    eall
    ysorry,Iam goingto
    i
    nv ol
    vetheschoolauthori
    ti
    esi nt
    his.Thatboy
    ’s
    parentsar
    egoingtobei nvolved.
    ”
    “Idon’
    twanttobr
    ingKyra’
    sfat
    hert
    osorti
    tout
    becauset
    rustme,itwon’
    tbenicei
    fhecomes
    here.
    ”
    “
    Ofcause.Let
    ’sgot
    othepr
    inci
    pal
    ’
    sof
    fi
    ce.
    ”
    Myphoner angt
    henIputAlanadown.Kyrahel
    d
    herhandandwalkedwit
    hherwhileIqui
    ckly
    tookoutmyphoneexpecti
    ngitt
    obeOt eng.I
    sigheddi
    sappoi
    ntedt
    henanswered.
    “
    Hey
    ..
    ”
    “
    Hi,
    soIhav
    ebeenmeani
    ngt
    oasky
    ou,
    afr
    iend
    ofmineisget
    ti
    ngmarr
    iedsoshei
    shav
    inga
    bri
    dalshower
    ,cany
    ouescortme?
    ”
    “
    Youhav
    eaf
    ri
    end?
    ”
    “SomeoneIknowEazi.Pleasecomewi
    th.
    Comewi t
    hyourdearsist
    er.”
    Isi
    ghedasshebegged.“
    OkLi
    na,
    wheni
    sit
    ?”
    “Tonight.I
    t’
    sact
    ual
    lyinKasane,i
    naboatcr
    uise.
    Shepl annedsomet
    hingsodiff
    erentand
    classy.”
    Il
    aughed.“Youknowt
    hat’
    showIwantmy
    weddi
    ngt obe,wit
    hmi
    nimum peopl
    ether
    e.”
    “Morer
    easonf
    ory
    out
    ocomewi
    th,
    toget
    poi
    nter
    s.”
    “Ok,Ihav et
    ot al
    ktoPennyandseei fshecan
    babysitthekids.Ihav
    et ot
    alkt
    oOt engtoo.He
    hasn’tcall
    edthewhol eday
    ,Iam sowor r
    ied.
    ”
    “
    May
    behei
    sjustbusy
    .”
    “
    Thatmanal
    way
    scal
    l
    s.Whet
    herhei
    sar
    ound
    ornot,heal
    wayscall
    s.Whati
    fsomet
    hing
    happenedtohim?Hewassupposedtobeback
    fr
    om Dubaiyester
    day
    .”
    “
    Eazi
    ,cal
    m down,
    youwoul
    dknowi
    fsomet
    hing
    waswrong.
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tknow,
    Iwi
    l
    ltal
    ktoPenny
    .”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Ihungupandgoti
    nsi
    det
    hePr
    inci
    ple’
    sof
    fi
    ce.

    *
    **

    I
    nMaun,Li
    naputt
    hegowni
    nsi
    dehercar
    t
    alki
    ngont
    hephone.
    “
    Ijustpi
    ckeditup,
    thanky
    ouf
    ordesi
    gni
    ngi
    tin
    ashortper
    iodofti
    me.”
    “
    Ihopeshel
    ovesi
    t.
    ”
    “
    Shewi
    l
    l,i
    t’
    stheoneshehasal
    way
    swant
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    bye.
    ”
    Linahungupget t
    ingi
    nhercar.Shefrowned
    catchi
    nggli
    mpseofOt engwhowi t
    hawoman
    i
    nhi sarms.Shecaref
    ull
    ylookedst
    aringatt
    he
    womanf rom behi
    nd.Thewomant urnedsmil
    ing
    thenherheartski
    pped.
    “
    No….No…”
    Hehuggedhert henopenedt hecardoorf orher
    ,
    shelaughedwi t
    hhim andsmackedhi s
    shoulder.Linacareful
    lyl
    ookednot icingt he
    pregnancybump.Thewomangoti nt hecar
    thenhel eanedov erbending,Li
    natr i
    edget ti
    ng
    whathewasdoi ngthoughshecoul dn’ tsee
    anythi
    ng, secondslaterOtengsteppedback
    from thecarsmi li
    ngast heladydroveaway
    thenhegoti nhi
    sowncaranddr oveaway .
    .
    l
    i
    keandcomment
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #101

    Tashawal
    kedoutofheroff
    icethenj
    oinedher
    workmatewal
    kingt
    ot heparki
    nglot
    .
    “
    Iam sol
    ate,
    Ihav
    eaweddi
    ngIam at
    tendi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Ithoughty
    ousai
    ditwasal
    i
    mit
    edt
    hing.
    ”
    “I
    tis,
    Iam goi
    ngwit
    hmyboy
    fri
    endwho’
    sthe
    bri
    degroom’
    scousi
    n.”
    “
    Iwouldn’
    tatt
    endsuchawedding,
    itf
    eel
    sli
    ke
    t
    heydon’twantpeopl
    ether
    e.”
    “Theydobutonlyali
    mit
    ednumberofpeople.
    Thereisnothi
    ngwrongwit
    hit
    ,andthecouplei
    s
    sorich,t
    heycanaff
    ordabigweddi
    ngbutthey
    wantsomet hi
    ngcl
    assy.
    ”
    Herboy
    fri
    end’
    scarpul
    l
    edov
    ert
    hent
    he
    workmatewalkedt othecarandgoti n.Tasha
    walkedtohercarandgoti nthendr ov
    ehome.
    Shepassedbydebonai rsandwai tedinqueue.
    Thequeuemov edt henshewal kedov erand
    orderedherpi
    zza.Minuteslatershewal kedout
    tohercarwhereTsot l
    hewasst eppingouti n
    herformalwear.Tsotl
    hesmi l
    edather .
    “
    Hi…”
    “
    Hi,
    youl
    ookni
    ce.
    ”
    “
    Thanks,Iam j
    usther
    etogetdi
    nner
    .Iam so
    l
    azytocook.
    ”
    Tashal
    aughed.“
    Iknowhowt
    hati
    s.”
    “
    Yeah,
    bye!
    ”
    Shewal kedi
    nsidedebonnairs.Tasharol
    ledher
    eyesandgotinhercar.Shest il
    lwonderedwhy
    Tinohadmar r
    iedherseeingshewassoy oung
    andimmat ur
    e.Sheshookherheadt henst ar
    ted
    hercarandpassedbyaf ill
    i
    ngst ati
    on.Alush
    carparkedbesidesher
    sasshespoket ot he
    f
    uel
    att
    endant
    .
    “
    Iam al
    soswi
    ping.
    ”
    “
    Yesmam.
    ”
    Themanf r
    om t helushcarst eppedoutt owal k
    overbuthi sphoner ang, heanswer edstar i
    ngat
    her,Tashat urnedandmethi seyes.Hesmi led
    atherwhi leshecar ef
    ullylookedathi m, her
    eyeswentt othatdi ckpr i
    ntthatwasshowi ng.
    Hewassohandsomeshet hankedhi s
    ancestorsf orsuchaman.Hedr oppedt hecal l
    thenwal kinsidet hestor efoll
    owi ngaf t
    ert he
    fuelattendantwhohadser vedher .Minut es
    l
    aterhewal kedoutandov ertohercar ,she
    roll
    edherwi ndowf urtherdownl ovingjusthow
    hewal kedwi t
    ht hosebr ackets.Hef l
    asheda
    cutechar mingsmi l
    e.
    “
    Ijustset
    tl
    edt
    hat
    .”
    Tashasmi
    l
    ed.“
    Icoul
    ditmy
    sel
    f.
    ”
    “
    Chr
    ist
    mascomesonceay
    ear
    .”
    “
    Ishoudhav
    eknown,
    Iwoul
    dhav
    efuel
    l
    edup
    f
    ull
    tank.
    ”
    “
    Gaoswabe?
    ”
    “
    Got
    lel
    ele.
    ”
    Themanlaughed.“Di
    nnertoni
    ght
    ?Ther
    eisa
    newpl
    acethatjustopened.
    ”
    “
    Whati
    fIam busy
    .”
    Hetookouthisbusi
    nesscar
    dfr
    om hi
    spocket
    andhandedtoher.“
    Thencal
    lmewhenyouare
    fr
    ee.
    ”
    Tashat
    ookhi
    scar
    dst
    art
    inghercar
    .
    “
    Don’
    tthr
    owmyawaymycar
    d.Iam Phat
    simo.
    ”
    “
    Tasha.
    ”
    “
    Cal
    lme.
    ”
    “Bye!
    ”shedroveawayleav
    inghim standi
    ngwit
    h
    asmi l
    e.Shelookedatt
    hecardagainandsmied
    stari
    ngathisnamebuthersmil
    esl owly
    disappear edasshet houghtaboutapossi ble
    relationship.Shehatedr elationshipsbecause
    sheal wayshadt oeit
    herf acer ej
    ecti
    onorloss
    ofi nterestintherel
    ationshi pbef or
    eitcoul
    d
    reallygof arduet oherst atus.Shel ookedatthe
    busi nesscar dagainwonder ingifthisonewill
    bedi fferentbuthissleeksmi letoldherhewas
    j
    ustapl ay
    er,probabl
    ywasl ookingtofuck.
    Sheputthecarddownanddr ovetoherhouse
    wheresheundressedandset tl
    edinfr
    ontofher
    TVwithherpizza.Shereachedforherphone
    andcal
    ledherfriend.
    “
    Tasha…”
    “
    Hey,mmaRuby ,
    Imetthi
    smanmmehel a
    whenIt
    hinkofmyst
    atusIdon’
    tseeanyhope.
    ”
    “Ial
    way stel
    l y
    ou, youwillf
    indsomeonewho
    will
    accepty ouwi thyourstat
    us,i
    t’
    sjustt
    hat
    peopleareignor antandtheythi
    nkHIVmeans
    death.Justtellhim andifhedeci
    desotherwi
    se
    t
    henhewasnev
    ert
    heone.
    ”
    “Rubyyouaremarr
    iedandyouhavechil
    dren.I
    haveneit
    heroft
    hosethi
    ngs,peopl
    elookat
    me.”
    “
    Letthem l
    ook,
    takey
    ourt
    ime,
    youwi
    l
    lfi
    ndt
    he
    r
    ight
    fulguy
    .”
    “
    Ifeel
    Iwast
    edsomucht
    imewithMoemedi
    ,I
    wi
    shwenevergav
    ehi
    m al
    if
    tthatday
    .”
    “Metoobutthatdoesn’tmatternow,i
    t’
    sli
    fe.
    Youlear
    ntav erygoodlesson,onedayyouwil
    l
    beabletoadviseyourkids.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    shIcanundi
    ghi
    m andki
    l
    lhi
    m agai
    n.”
    “
    Nowy
    ouseey
    oushoul
    dhav
    eli
    stenedt
    oEazi
    .”
    “
    Shei
    sfr
    iendswi
    thhi
    swi
    fe.
    ”
    “
    Theyshar
    eababydaddy
    .”
    “Eazii
    sfake,whenshewast
    ell
    i
    ngmet ol
    eave
    Moemedi ,shewasn’
    tdoi
    ngi
    toutofl
    oveand
    care.
    ”
    “
    Wow!Ev
    enaf
    teral
    lthesey
    ear
    syoust
    il
    lbel
    i
    eve
    t
    hat
    ?”
    “Iam t
    ell
    i
    ngy
    ou,
    shej
    ustdi
    dn’
    twantmedat
    ing
    herex.
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tknowwhatt
    otel
    lyounow.
    ”
    “Iam t
    ell
    i
    ngy
    oubuti
    t’
    sfi
    nebecausehei
    s
    dead.
    ”
    “
    Yeah,
    wewi
    l
    ltal
    k.Ihav
    etost
    artcooki
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Okby
    e.”
    Rubyhungupt
    henTashagr
    abbedt
    hecar
    dand
    cal
    led.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi,
    it’
    sTasha,
    tur
    nsoutIam f
    reet
    hisev
    eni
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Great
    ,whatt
    imeshoul
    dIpi
    cky
    ouup?
    ”
    “I
    ntwohours,
    Iwi
    l
    lsendy
    oumyhouse
    di
    rect
    ions.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Shehungupwi thasmilethenwalkedtoher
    bedroom,therewasreallynoneedtotellhi
    m
    herHIVstatussoearly,
    shewoul dwaitfora
    whil
    et oseeiftherel
    ati
    onshipcouldact
    uall
    y
    work.

    *
    **

    Pennysmi
    l
    edasIdr
    oppedof
    ftheki
    ds.
    “
    Ihopei
    t’
    snott
    oomuch.
    ”
    “Noit
    ’snot
    .Bei
    nganAunti
    sawesome,
    hey
    guys,
    Imissedyou.
    ”
    Shehuggedal
    ltheki
    ds.“
    Goi
    nsi
    de.
    ”
    Theyal
    lwal
    kedi
    nsi
    det
    hehousethenPenny
    smil
    ed.“
    Sowher
    earey
    ougoing?
    ”
    “
    Iam at
    tendi
    ngababyshowerwi
    thmysi
    ster
    .I
    wi
    ll
    bebacktomorr
    ow.”
    “
    Ok.Theyar
    einsaf
    ehands.
    ”
    “
    Iknow,
    hav
    eyouspokent
    oOt
    engt
    oday
    ?”
    Pennyshookherhead.“
    No,
    why
    ?”
    “
    Not
    hing,
    justwonder
    ing.Seey
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    bye!
    ”
    Iwal
    kedbackt
    othecabandgoti
    n.
    “
    Takemet
    otheai
    rpor
    t.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hedr
    oveof
    f,It
    ookmyphoneandcal
    l
    edLi
    na.
    “
    Hey
    ,Iam onmywayt
    otheai
    rpor
    tnow.
    ”
    “
    Ok,bythewaywear
    eal
    lgoi
    ngt
    obewear
    ing
    weddi
    nggowns.
    ”
    “
    Att
    hebr
    idal
    shower
    ?”
    “
    Yes.I
    t’
    sabi
    tdi
    ff
    erent
    .”
    “
    Idon’
    thav
    eagown.
    ”
    “
    Igoty
    ouone.
    ”
    “
    Ihav
    enev
    erseensuchabr
    idal
    shower
    .”
    “
    Iknowt
    hat
    ’swhyy
    ouhav
    etocomewi
    th.
    ”
    “
    Ihopet
    heydon’
    twanthugegi
    ft
    s.”
    “
    No,
    moneygi
    ft
    sbutIal
    readysor
    tedy
    ouout
    .”
    “
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    ltal
    ktoy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Ihungupandsighed,Iwasgett
    ingmoreand
    moreworri
    ed.Idi
    aledhisl
    ocalnumberbuti
    t
    beepedoncenotgoingthr
    ough.

    *
    **

    Ontlametsiputonherdressthenlookedat
    herselfi
    nfrontofthemirr
    or.Shetwi r
    ledwi
    tha
    smile.Sheputonherheelsandwal kedtot
    he
    sit
    ti
    ngr oom hol
    dinghersmallbag.Herphone
    rangasshewal kedoutthenshepi ckedgett
    ing
    i
    nhercar
    .
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Arey
    oust
    il
    lgoi
    ng?
    ”
    “Yes.Eazii
    smysi
    sterandt
    hisi
    sherbi
    gday
    .I
    can’tmissi
    t.”
    “
    Arey
    ougoi
    ngt
    otel
    lher
    ?”
    “
    No,
    Iam notgoi
    ngt
    ost
    eal
    hershi
    ne.
    ”
    “Ok,It
    hinkIwil
    lbecomingther
    etomor
    row.I
    am donehere.Imissy
    ou."
    Ontl
    amet sismil
    ed.“Metoo,i
    am abitnervous
    aboutthewedding,thi
    ngsbetweenEaziandI
    neverwentbackt onormaleversi
    nceshefound
    herrealsi
    ster
    .It
    ’snotli
    keIam hersi
    steror
    anythi
    ng.”
    “
    Youguy
    sgr
    ewupassi
    ster
    s.Youar
    esi
    ster
    s.”
    “No.If
    eelli
    keIam t
    heonlyonet r
    yingtomake
    ourrel
    ati
    onshi
    pwork,sheisalwaysavoidi
    ng
    mesoIdon’ tt
    hinkt
    hingswil
    leverbethesame
    agai
    n.Ikeepchasingaft
    erher,don’tevenknow
    i
    fshewant smet ocomeornot ,i
    fsheknewshe
    woul
    dhav eprobablynev
    erinv
    itedme. ”
    “Iam wit
    hy ou,Iam al
    way sgoi
    ngtobethere.I
    knowy ouarereall
    ytryi
    ngtogetbackonher
    goodbooksbutbabei fshedoesn’
    twantthi
    s
    rel
    ati
    onshipthenlethergo.”
    “Iwil
    ltal
    ktohertodaysot
    hatIcanknowwher
    e
    Istand.Idon’
    tli
    keassumi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    wewi
    l
    ltal
    k.”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    Shehungupget
    ti
    ngi
    nhercart
    hendr
    ovet
    o
    Maunair
    port
    .

    *
    **
    Abewal kedoutofhi
    sof f
    icel
    ookingathi
    s
    watch,hegotinhiscaranddial
    edSadi
    recor
    dingthecall
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Whenar
    eyoucomi
    ngt
    oseeRonal
    d?”
    “Whyisi
    timpor
    tantf
    ormet
    oseehi
    m af
    tery
    ou
    deni
    edmehim?”
    “
    Soy
    oust
    il
    ldon’
    twantt
    oseey
    ourchi
    l
    d?”
    “Idon’
    tevenseehi
    m asmychi
    l
    dbecausey
    ou
    didn’
    tletmerai
    sehi
    m.”
    “Iwantyoutosi gnovey
    ourpar
    ental
    right
    sto
    me.Youdon’ twanthim,l
    etmetaketheburden
    offyourshoulders.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lsi
    gnt
    hem.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lhav
    emyl
    awy
    ersendt
    hem.
    ”
    “
    What
    ever
    .”
    Abehungt
    hendi
    aledhi
    slawy
    er.
    “Sendhert
    hosedocument
    s,shesai
    dshewi
    l
    l
    signthem.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    ousur
    ethi
    siswhaty
    ouwantt
    odo?
    ”
    “
    Iam tir
    edoffoll
    owingaf
    terhertohav ea
    r
    elat
    ionshi
    pwithherson,seemsl i
    kehernew
    f
    amilyismuchmor eimportantandthat’
    sfi
    ne.
    Havehersignthose.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hehungupthendr
    ovehome.Ti
    nocal
    l
    edhi
    m
    ashest
    eppedoutofhi
    scar
    .
    “
    Yah?
    ”
    “
    ThatmanSadi
    isseei
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Kane?
    ”
    “
    Hei
    smar
    ri
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    ouser
    ious?
    ”
    “Iam tel
    li
    ngy ou,
    hiswif
    estayinUK, shei
    sa
    doctorthereandtheyhavetwokids.He
    accasi
    onal
    l
    ygoest
    her
    e.”
    “
    Wow!
    ”
    “
    That
    ’snotal
    l
    ,healsohasanot
    herf
    amilyhere
    i
    nGabs,hi
    sfi
    rstgi
    rl
    fr
    iendwhohehasthreeki
    ds
    wi
    tht
    henSadiwhohehasachildwit
    h.”
    “
    Thef
    uck?
    ”
    “
    Iam t
    ell
    i
    ngy
    ou.
    ”
    “Idi
    dsuspectthatsomet
    hingwasoffabout
    him butwow!Howdoeshet akecar
    eoft hr
    ee
    famili
    es,howmuchdopilotsget
    spaid?
    ”
    “Hewassuspsendedlastweekov ersome
    rumort
    hathehasbeent ranspor
    ti
    ngdr ugs.
    Ther
    eareinv
    esti
    gati
    onsgoi ngon.”
    “
    Wai
    ihei
    sgoi
    ngt
    ojai
    l
    .”
    “
    Yeah,
    any
    ways,
    cany
    oupassbyt
    heof
    fi
    ce
    t
    omorr
    ow?”
    “
    Yeahsur
    e.”
    “Bytheway,whenar
    eyout
    ell
    i
    ngev
    ery
    one
    aboutyouknowwho?”
    “
    Aft
    ershet
    ell
    sherf
    ami
    l
    y.”
    “
    Youknowwhat
    ’sgoi
    ngt
    ohappenr
    ight
    ?”
    “
    Iknow,
    Iam r
    eadyf
    ori
    t.
    ”
    Abehungupwalkinginsidehi
    shouseand
    smil
    edstar
    ingathiskidseati
    ng.
    "
    Daddy
    !"
    Theybot
    hranov
    ert
    henhepi
    ckedbot
    hoft
    hem
    up.
    "
    Wher
    eisaunt
    y?"
    "
    Shecl
    eani
    ng.
    "
    "
    Ok.
    "
    Abewal
    kedtothekit
    chenwher
    ehi
    shel
    perwas
    moppi
    ngthefl
    oors.
    "
    Hey
    ,af
    tert
    haty
    oucango.
    "
    "
    Yessi
    r.
    "
    Hewal
    kedt
    ohi
    sbedr
    oom di
    ali
    nganumber
    .
    "
    Heybabe.
    ..
    "
    "
    Wer
    en'
    tyousupposedt
    ohav
    ear
    ri
    vedbynow?
    "
    "Myf l
    ightgotcanceledlove,t
    heyhav e
    rescheduledfortomorrowmor ning.Iknowthe
    kidsmustbeexci tedthinki
    ngtonightIwil
    lbe
    there.
    "
    "
    Yes.
    "
    "Iam sorry
    .Iwi
    l
    lmakei
    tupt
    othem.Ipr
    omi
    se.
    Imissy ou."
    Hesatont
    hebed."
    Imi
    ssy
    out
    oo.
    "
    "
    Byt
    heway
    ,ther
    eissomet
    hingIhav
    etot
    ell
    y
    ou.
    "
    "
    Ok.Whati
    sit
    ?"
    "
    Iwi
    l
    ltel
    lyouwhenIr
    eacht
    her
    e."
    "
    Ok.
    "
    "
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ..
    "
    "
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    "

    *
    **

    Justaft
    erduski
    nKasane,
    Iwal
    kedi
    nsi
    det
    he
    hotelwi
    thLi
    na.
    “
    Aren’
    twel
    ate?
    ”
    Li
    nashookherhead.“
    No.Hey
    ,Iwant
    edtoask,
    doesOt
    enghavefamil
    yherei
    nMaun?”
    Inoddedaswewalkedinsi
    dethehotel
    room.
    “Yes,hi
    scousi
    nisher
    e,sheisanevent
    planner
    .”
    “
    Shei
    spr
    egnant
    ?”
    It
    urnedt
    oher
    .“Yes,
    why
    ?”
    Li
    nal
    aughed.“
    Ithi
    nkImether
    .”
    “Oh,sheisr
    eal
    l
    yni
    ce,
    andcl
    oset
    oev
    ery
    onei
    n
    general
    .”
    “
    Yeah.Uhht
    her
    eisy
    ourgown.
    ”
    Iwal
    kedt
    othegownandpi
    ckedi
    tup.“
    Wow!
    ”
    “
    Doy
    oul
    i
    kei
    t?”
    “It
    ’sbeaut
    if
    ul.Li
    kethatgownIl
    i
    ked,ngng,I
    can’twearthi
    s,Iwil
    ll
    ookmorebeaut
    if
    ulthan
    thebridet
    obeher sel
    f.
    ”
    “Youareweari
    ngit,t
    hegoali
    sforev
    ery
    oneto
    l
    ooklikeabri
    de,Ievenhi
    redussomehair
    sty
    li
    st
    andmake-uparti
    sts.
    ”
    “
    Aft
    erthi
    s,y
    ouar enotgoi
    ngt
    obef
    ri
    endswi
    th
    t
    hatl
    adyagain.
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tcar
    e.”
    Twol
    adi
    eswal
    kedi
    n.
    “Eazi
    ,themake-upart
    isti
    sher
    e,shewil
    lalsodo
    yourhair
    ,andthatoneist
    henail
    techni
    que,si
    t
    down.”
    Ilookedatthet
    woladiest
    hentur
    nedtoLina
    tearf
    ull
    y.“
    What’
    sgoing?Yougottheexact
    dressIt ol
    dyouIwouldwantformyweddi ng.I
    can’tgetholdofOtengandIknowthereisno
    bri
    dal showerwherethebr
    idewouldtel
    lust o
    weargowns.Aunt ycall
    edmeearlymorning.”
    Li
    nasi
    ghed.“
    Iam notsupposedt
    otel
    lyou.
    ”
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “
    Mmay ourmanwant
    edt
    osurpr
    iseyouwitha
    weddi
    ng,canwegetmov
    ing,
    wealreadybehi
    nd
    t
    ime.”
    Iputmyhandov
    ermymout
    h.
    “
    Heevenpaidyourbr
    idepri
    cel
    astweekand
    y
    ourt
    hir
    styuncl
    estookit
    .”
    “OhmyGod, andhereIwaswonderi
    ngwhen
    thi
    smanwasgoi ngtomar r
    yme,kanahehas
    beentalki
    ngaboutanot
    herchi
    l
    dandIwas
    real
    lyupsett
    hathewouldwantanot
    herchi
    l
    d
    whenhehasn’tmarri
    edme.”
    Li
    nahuggedme.“
    Hel
    ovesy
    ouandt
    odayi
    sthe
    day.Now,youar
    egoi
    ngt
    opr
    etendt
    obe
    sur
    prised.
    ”
    Il
    aughed.“Obv
    iousl
    y,Ican’
    tbel
    i
    vet
    hisi
    s
    happeni
    ng.Thekidsal
    soknow?”
    “Yes,
    Mal col
    m osephi
    ri
    ,hehasbeenknowi
    ng
    forawhil
    enowbecausehei stheonewhogav
    e
    permissi
    on.”
    Ilaughed.“
    Omaakangwanaol
    e,l
    i
    kehi
    sfat
    her
    nowonderheisdeadt
    oday.
    ”
    Li
    nalaughedhar
    der.“
    Youar
    egoi
    ngt
    ohell
    .
    Ladi
    es,pl
    easeworkonmybri
    der
    eal
    qui
    ck.”
    Isatdownast
    heyst
    art
    edwi
    thmyf
    ace.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe
    #102

    Bar
    rygoti
    ntheboatwi
    thOteng.Oteng'
    sfat
    her
    wal
    kedovert
    henpathi
    sshoulder.
    "
    Thi
    sisbeaut
    if
    ul.
    "
    Ot
    engsmi
    l
    ed."
    Ihopeshel
    i
    kesi
    t.
    "
    "
    Shewi
    l
    l.
    "
    Hisuncle'
    swi f
    ewalkedoversmil
    ing."Thisis
    beauti
    ful
    .Isi
    tsafethough?Garebatlesituat
    ion
    eelenggorebathobabalamonewspaper eng
    gotwemot hookomedi t
    swekekwena. (Wedon't
    wantasituat
    ionwherepeoplewil
    lreadint he
    newspaperthatsomeonehasbeenswal l
    owed
    byacrocodil
    e.)
    "
    Hisfatherl
    aughed."
    Ebil
    eret
    labal
    amoThe
    Voice.(Wewill
    readinTheVoi
    ce.)
    "
    "
    Kanakehoo.(
    Mypoi
    ntexact
    ly.
    )"
    Ot
    engl
    aughed."
    It
    ssaf
    e,t
    her
    ear
    eli
    feguar
    ds
    her
    e."
    Hisaunthuggedhi m."Iam pr oudofyouson,I
    knowwher everKamogel ois,sheisproud.You
    hav echosenabeaut i
    fulwellbehavedwoman.I
    l
    ov eher,Ihopewhatwear ewi t
    nessi
    nghere
    todaylastsforever.Wedon' twanttoheara
    sit
    uat i
    onofdi v
    orce.Inthisfami l
    ywedon't
    divorce,i
    fyoudi v
    or cethenitwouldbeaf i
    rst
    ."
    Hisfathernoddedagr
    eei
    ng."
    That
    'sr
    ight
    ,
    Tsontsomakeuspr oud.
    "
    Bar
    rybur
    sti
    ntol
    aught
    er.
    Otenglookedathi
    sfat
    her
    ."Kant
    epapa
    gori
    leng?"
    "
    Uhu,
    sor
    ry,
    kel
    ebet
    segor
    eoi
    tat
    olal
    einagago.
    "
    Moreandmor epeopleborderedthebeaut i
    ful
    ly
    decoratedcruisesheepwi t
    hcandl es,fl
    oral
    s
    anddr eamylights.Guestsataccordingtotheir
    namesont her oundtabl
    es.Thepr iestf
    inal
    ly
    arr
    ivedt henshookhandswi thOtengandBar r
    y
    whower
    est
    andi
    ngbesi
    deseachot
    her
    .
    "Ihavet
    osay ,
    thi
    sisabeaut
    iful
    ev ent
    ,Ihav
    e
    neveratt
    endedsomethi
    ngli
    kethisandIhavet
    o
    say,Iam i
    mpressed.
    "
    Ot
    engsmi
    l
    ed."
    It
    'swhatshewant
    ed.
    "
    Thepr
    iestsmi
    l
    ed."
    Andi
    tsbeaut
    if
    ul.
    "
    OneofOteng'
    scousinwalkedoverwi
    ththeki
    ds
    wholookedbeaut
    if
    uldressedup."
    Rebaoneis
    her
    e."
    Otengfrowned."
    Idon'twanttodeal
    withher
    nonsensetoday,
    tel
    lthem nottol
    etheri
    n."
    "
    Ok.
    "
    Hesmi
    l
    edt
    aki
    ngAl
    ana."
    Heyangel
    ..
    ."
    "
    Heydaddy
    ..
    ."
    Hekissedhercheekandhandedherbackand
    f
    ixedMalcol
    m'sbowt i
    e.
    "
    Buddy
    ,youl
    ookgood.
    "
    Mal
    col
    m smi
    l
    ed."
    Ilookgood.
    "
    "
    Yesy
    oudo.
    "
    Hepi
    ckedKy
    ra."
    Pri
    ncess.
    "
    "
    Daddy
    ..
    .Ismommycomi
    ng"
    "
    Yes.Shei
    ssoongoi
    ngt
    obeher
    e."
    "
    Iwantt
    oshowhermydr
    ess.
    "
    "
    Shewi
    l
    llov
    eit
    ."
    Heputherdownthenwatchedhiscousint
    ake
    t
    hekidstoatabl
    e.Helookedathiswatch,
    she
    wasalr
    eadytenminut
    eslates.
    Bar
    ryl
    ookedathi
    m."
    Readyf
    ort
    his?
    "
    Otengsmiled."Ihav
    ebeenr eadysi
    nceImether
    .
    Ijustwant
    edhert ocompletel
    yhealbecause
    thisti
    meitwill
    bediffer
    ent.
    "
    "
    Itwi
    l
    lbedi
    ff
    erent
    .Shel
    ovesy
    ou.
    "
    Thepr
    ieststoodbesi
    dehimj
    ustasEazi'
    ssi
    ster
    wal
    kedin.Shelookedatt
    hem t
    hensatdown.
    Oteng'sphonevi
    bratedfr
    om hispockett
    henhe
    turnedansweri
    ng.
    "IsaidIdon'
    twanttobe
    distur
    bed."
    "Thest
    ockhasar
    ri
    vedbuttherei
    saroadbl
    ock.
    Theguysar
    ewait
    ingforanorder
    ."
    "
    Wher
    eist
    heot
    hert
    ruck?
    "
    "
    Inf
    ront
    ."
    "
    Howf
    arar
    eyouf
    rom t
    her
    oadbl
    ock?
    "
    "
    About5ki
    l
    omet
    ers.
    "
    "
    AndPJ?
    "
    "
    Anot
    her5ki
    l
    omet
    ersbehi
    nd.
    "
    "Cal
    lhi
    m andswapt
    hegoods.
    "
    "
    Ok.
    "
    "Cal
    lDi
    ckandt el
    lhim heshouldcoll
    ectassoon
    asyouarri
    vethentakethetrucksfor
    i
    nspect
    ion."
    "
    Ok.
    "
    Otenghungandt
    urnedar
    oundsl
    i
    dinghi
    sphone
    i
    nhi spocket
    .

    *
    **
    Tashal
    aughedsof
    tl
    yasPhat
    simospoke.
    "Iam t
    ell
    i
    ngyou,Idon'
    teatseaf
    oodandIwon't
    evenpret
    endIdo.Iaccept
    edthefactt
    hatIam
    Afri
    can.
    "
    Shesi
    ppedherwinet
    hensmil
    ed."
    Ihav
    enev
    er
    tr
    iedi
    tbef
    oreandIwon'
    tev
    en."
    "Ar
    eyouinarelat
    ionship?KanamaybeIam
    her
    ethi
    nkingIhavescor edwhenIam act
    ual
    l
    y
    wit
    hsomeone'sgirl
    fr
    iend."
    Tashalaughed."Iam singl
    e,havebeensi ngle
    forawhile.Rel
    ationshi
    psnev erseem towor k
    outformesoIj ustgaveup.Iwast ir
    edof
    gett
    ingmyhopesuponl yt
    obedi sappointed.
    "
    "
    Honest
    lyt
    her
    easonIam si
    ngl
    eisbecauseI
    hav
    eki
    dsandIam l
    ooki
    ngforsomeonewhoi
    s
    goi
    ngt
    olov
    emykidsIam asingl
    efat
    her
    ."
    "
    Howmanyki
    dsdoy
    ouhav
    e?"
    "
    Two.
    "
    "
    All
    wit
    honemom?
    "
    "
    No.Let
    'sgo.
    "
    Theygotupandwalkedout
    .Heopenedthe
    doorf
    orherthenshegoti
    nwit
    hasmi l
    e.
    Phatsi
    mogotinhiscarthendr oveofftur
    ning
    uphisradi
    o.JamesBluntplayedr emindi
    ngher
    ofherfat
    her,
    thosewerealway sthetypeof
    songshewouldplaywhenev ertheywoulddri
    ve
    toZim.
    Hedroveherbackt
    oherhouset
    henpar
    kedt
    he
    carbyhergat
    e.
    "
    Thanky
    ouragr
    eei
    ngt
    ogooutwi
    thme.
    "
    "
    Thanky
    ouf
    ort
    aki
    ngmeoutoft
    hehouse.
    "
    Phitsi
    mol aughedt henleanedov erandki ssed
    her.Tashaki ssedhim backashet ouchedher
    thi
    ghs.Headj ustedhiscarseatthenpul l
    edher
    overthatshest raddledhim,herlit
    tledress
    ri
    dingov erhips.Shemoanedsof tl
    yast heydry
    humpedwhi leherpant i
    esgotdampandmor e
    damper .Ithadbeensol ongsinceshehadhad
    therealthing.Phatsimot ookouthisdick
    pull
    ingherpant iestotheside.
    Tasha'
    shear
    tpounded."
    Condom.
    "
    "
    Idon'
    thav
    eany
    ,doy
    ouhav
    e?"
    "
    No.
    "
    "
    Iwi
    l
    lpul
    lout
    ,wewi
    l
    lgett
    est
    edt
    omor
    row.
    "
    "
    NgngPhat
    simo.
    "
    "
    Babepl
    ease.
    ..I
    '
    m cl
    ean,
    Iswearonmyki
    ds.
    "
    "
    Ihav
    etot
    ell
    yousomet
    hing.
    "
    Phatsi
    moangl
    edhert
    hensli
    dinsi
    deher
    wetnesswi
    thal
    oudgrunt
    .Tashamoanedsof
    tl
    y
    ashebegunthr
    usti
    ngfr
    om beneat
    h.She
    movedfr
    om aboveandsoonthei
    rmoanshad
    fi
    l
    ledt
    hecar.

    *
    **

    I
    nZimbabwe,atthefar
    m,Ginawatchedas
    Takustar
    tedt
    hefir
    e,hegotupandsatbesi
    des
    herpul
    l
    ingheri
    nhisarms.
    "
    Thi
    spl
    aceneedst
    ober
    enov
    ated.
    "
    "
    Yeah.
    "
    Gi
    nasighed."Ican'
    tbel
    i
    ev ethenerv
    eofthat
    woman,afterall
    theseyearsshethi
    nksshecan
    j
    ustcl
    aim myson? "
    "
    Gina,
    wecameher
    etor
    elaxnott
    othi
    nkabout
    t
    hatwoman.
    "
    "
    HowcanInott hi
    nkabouther
    ?Howdareshe
    t
    hinkshecanadressmysonasherson?
    "
    "
    Abeisoldnow,
    wecan'
    tkeephi
    dingt
    het
    rut
    h
    f
    rom hi
    m."
    "AbeismysonTaku,Irai
    sedhi
    m.Hei smine,
    sheiscr
    awli
    ngbackbecausethi
    ngsar el
    ooki
    ng
    upforhi
    m now.Iam notgoi
    ngtolether
    anywher
    enearmyson. "
    "I
    fshewant
    stoseeAbe,
    shewi
    l
    lseehi
    m.
    Therei
    snot
    hingy
    oucando.
    "
    "Iam notgoi
    ngtoletheranywherenearmyson.
    Shethewhi minthetr
    ash,IIpi
    ckedhim and
    madehi m mine.
    "
    "Westi
    llneedtotel
    lhi
    m.Idon'
    twantt
    okeep
    anysecr
    etsfrom hi
    m.Final
    l
    ywearecompl
    etel
    y
    overwhathappened.
    "
    "
    Whati
    fhewant
    stogot
    her
    e?"
    "Abeknowshi smotheranditsy
    ou.Thatwil
    l
    neverchange,hel
    ovesy ousomuch.Youdon't
    havetowor r
    yaboutyourplacei
    nhishear
    t.
    *
    **

    Li
    nastoppedt hecarassoonaswearriv
    ed,she
    st
    eppedoutandcamet omydoorthenhelped
    meout.Ilookedatthebigboatwi
    thli
    ghts
    ar
    oundit.
    "
    Ican'
    tbel
    i
    evet
    hisi
    shappeni
    ng.
    "
    "I
    tis.Bett
    erbeli
    evei
    t.Ev
    ery
    thi
    ngwaspl
    anned
    byy ourman."
    AcarstoppedthenAnayasteppedoutwi
    thher
    husband.Shesmil
    edrushi
    ngov ert
    henhugged
    me.
    "
    Youal
    soknew?
    "
    Shel
    aughed."
    Yes.I
    twassohardkeepi
    ngt
    his
    fr
    om y
    ou.Youlooksobeaut
    if
    ul.
    "
    Shesmil
    edtaki
    ngastepbackst
    ari
    ngatmy
    backl
    essmermaidgownwit
    habailwhi
    chhada
    l
    ongt
    rai
    l
    .
    "
    Yousoosobeaut
    if
    ul.
    "
    "
    Thanky
    ou.
    "
    Li
    nahandedmemyf
    lower
    s."
    Let
    'sgo.
    "

    Insi
    det heboat,Li
    nafi
    xedmygownwhi l
    e
    everyonestared.MyeyescaughtsightofOntl
    a
    whowassi t
    ti
    ngwi tht
    earsinhereyes.Shegave
    meat humbsup.Ismi l
    edtearf
    ull
    y,shestoodup
    andwal kedov ert
    omet henhuggedme.
    "Youlooksobeaut
    if
    ul.Iam pr
    oudofy
    oul
    i
    ttl
    e
    sis.
    "
    "
    Iam happyt
    oseey
    ou.
    "
    "
    Met
    oo.
    "
    Shest
    eppedbackt
    henmyf
    ather
    'sbr
    other
    st
    oodupandt
    ookmyhand.
    "
    Shal
    lwe?
    "
    "
    Yes.
    "
    IfacedOtengwi
    thasmi
    l
    easMaj
    or,
    whyIl
    ove
    youplayed.

    If
    oundl
    ovei
    nyou
    AndI
    '
    vel
    ear
    nedt
    olov
    emet
    oo
    Nev
    erhav
    eIf
    eltt
    hatIcoul
    dbeal
    lthaty
    ousee
    I
    tsl
    i
    keourhear
    tshav
    eent
    iwi
    nedandt
    othe
    Per
    fecthar
    mony

    Thi
    siswhyIl
    ovey
    ou
    Ohhht
    hisi
    swhyIl
    ovey
    ou
    Becausey
    oul
    oveme
    Youl
    oveme
    Thi
    siswhyIl
    ovey
    ou
    Ohhht
    hisi
    swhyIl
    ovey
    ou
    Becausey
    oul
    oveme
    Youl
    oveme

    Myuncl
    eshookOt
    eng'
    shandsqueezi
    ngi
    tabi
    t.
    "HurtherandseewhatIwill
    dot
    oy ou.Your
    manhoodwi l
    lshri
    nkandy
    ouwil
    lnevergeti
    tup
    everagain.Trustme.
    "
    Otengsmiled."
    Don'tworr
    yabouthergett
    ing
    hurt,
    worryaboutherpussybecauseIam goi
    ng
    tofuckherti
    lli
    tget
    sdisabled.Nowhandmy
    wifeover
    ."
    MyunclefrownedasOtenggav
    ehi
    m af
    ir
    m
    handshakeandlethi
    m go.
    "Eazi
    ..
    ."Hehandedmeovergl
    ari
    ngatOteng.He
    slowl
    ywalkedawayandsatdownasOteng
    heldbothmyhandsinhi
    ssmili
    ng.
    "
    Heymama.
    ..
    "
    Tear
    sfi
    ll
    edmyeyes."
    Ican'
    tbel
    i
    evey
    oudi
    dthi
    s.
    I
    t'
    sbeaut
    iful
    ."
    "
    Notmor
    ethany
    ou.Youl
    ookbeaut
    if
    ul.
    "
    Atearrandownmycheek,hegent
    lywi
    pedi
    tof
    f
    bl
    i
    nking.Thepast
    orcl
    ear
    edhisthr
    oat.
    "Dearbel
    oved,
    wearegatheredheretojoi
    ntwo
    peopleandmakethem one,wewi l
    lbl
    essthi
    s
    eveni
    ngwithanopeni
    ngpr ayer
    ."
    Thepr i
    estcl
    osedhiseyespr
    ayingast heboat
    stoodstil
    lwhi
    lethewindbl
    ewsof t
    ly.He
    fi
    nishedwithhi
    sprayerandquotedacoupleof
    verses.
    "
    Right
    ,nowourbeaut
    if
    ulcoupl
    ehav
    ethei
    rown
    v
    owelswebeli
    eve,Ot
    eng."
    Otengkissedmyhands."
    Wor dscan'
    tbeginto
    expresshowmuchIloveyou,IneverthoughtI
    wouldfindmysel
    finasit
    uat
    ionli
    ket hi
    sbut
    hereIam.Iam mar r
    yingthemostbeaut if
    ul
    womanIhav eev ersetmyey eson, shei skind
    andl ovi
    ng, shelovesmyki dsandshemakesa
    perfectpartner.Icouldnev erhav eitanyot her
    wayEazi .Iguessy ouwer et ail
    ormadef orme.I
    vowt olovey out i
    llwebot hshal lli
    vebecause
    trustme, t
    her eisnol eaving.Iv owt obef ai
    thf
    ul,
    tobehonestandl oyal,t
    ohol dyourhand
    throughsor rowandhappi ness, tost ickwi t
    hyou
    throughsicknessandheal th.Ipr omiset ogive
    any t
    hingyoumayev ery earn,tobet hereforour
    family.Ipromi setobet hehusbandy ouneed,
    thefathertheki dsneed.Il ov ey ou,Ilovey ouso
    much, nothingcanev ercompar emyl ov
    ef or
    you."
    Linahandedneat
    issuet
    henIwi
    pedawaymy
    tearscar
    eful
    l
    y.
    "Imetyouatmylowest,whenIdi
    dIdidn'
    tev
    en
    thi
    nkonedayIwouldlookatyouandseemy
    enti
    reworl
    diny
    oureyes.Youhavetur
    nedmy
    l
    ifear oundandIdon' tev enknowi fi
    tsinagood
    waybecauseIcan' tseemy selfwi thouty ou,I
    don'tev enwantt oi magi nei t.Ididn'texpectall
    thi
    sbutt hent hisisy ou...alway sknowi nghow
    tomakemehappy .Ilovey ouBogat su,Ilove
    yousomuch, youar emyev er yt
    hi ng.Iwoul d
    giveany thingf oryouandImakeasol emn
    promi set onev erleav eyoursi de, toloveand
    cherishy ou, t
    hr oughsi cknessandheal th,
    happi nessandsadness.Ipr omi sey ou
    fai
    thfulness, loveandcompassi on.Ipr omiseto
    bey ourmuchneededwi f e,andt hegood
    mot hert oy ourkids."
    Thepast
    orcl
    ear
    edhi
    sthr
    oat
    .
    "Whatbeauti
    ful
    words.Now,Ot
    eng,
    doy
    out
    ake
    Eaziasyourweddedwife?
    "
    Hesmi
    l
    ed."
    Ido.
    "
    "Eazi
    ,doyout
    akeOt
    engasy
    ourl
    awf
    ulwedded
    husband?
    "
    Ell
    enwalkedinpushi ngherpregnantstomach
    i
    nal ongdress.Shesatdownst ari
    ngatuswith
    asmi l
    e.MyheartpoundedasIl ookedather
    thenatOteng.Tearsf i
    l
    ledmyey eswhilemy
    heartbeganshutt
    ering,tear
    srunningdownmy
    cheeks.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #103

    Otenglookedatmeshaki nghi
    shead.“ Iswear,I
    haven’
    tseent hi
    spersoninful
    lthreeyears,l
    ast
    ti
    meIhear dfrom herwastwoy earsbackand
    shewast el
    li
    ngmeshewasget tingmar r
    ied,
    thatwasonf acebook.
    ”
    “
    Oteng….
    ”
    “Iswearbabe,Iswearonmyl if
    e,Idon’
    tev
    en
    knowwhatshei sdoinghere.Youcanaskher,
    don’tcr
    y.Iam notcheat
    ing,you’
    vegottotr
    ust
    me.”
    IlookedatEllent henshesmi ledatme.Bar ry
    walkedov ertohert henspoket oherbrief
    ly.She
    l
    ookedathi m andnodded, Ilookedatthering
    onherf i
    ngerassheadj ustedit.Shest
    oodup
    thenwalkedawaywhi l
    eOnt l
    agav eherthe
    mostskanki estlookev erassheal i
    ght
    edt he
    boat.Thepast orlookedatme.
    “
    Shal
    lwecont
    inue?
    ”
    Inodded.“
    Yes.
    ”
    Otengsmil
    ed.“
    Cont
    inuePast
    orbef
    oreshe
    changeshermi
    ndandleav
    esmeher e.
    ”
    Thepastorsmi
    led.“Ofcause,
    Eazi,doyout
    ake
    Otengasyourl
    awf ulweddedhusband?
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    edshy
    ly.“
    Ido.
    ”
    “
    Ther
    ingspl
    ease…”
    Barr
    yhandedthepastorbothri
    ngs.“Thi
    srings
    areasymbolofyourl
    ov e,
    neverendi
    ngandwi ll
    al
    way sgoon.Ibl
    essthem wit
    hthenameof
    JesusChri
    stwhodiedforusont hecross.
    ”
    Hehandedust
    heri
    ngst
    henOtengsl
    i
    dmyr ing
    onf
    inger
    ,It
    ookhi
    sandsl
    idi
    tonhisf
    ingerwit
    h
    asmil
    e.
    “Wit
    hthepoweri
    nme,Ipr
    onounceyouas
    husbandandwi
    fe,y
    oumaykissthebr
    ide.
    ”
    Otengputhi
    shandsar
    oundmywai
    standgot
    cl
    oser.
    “
    Arey
    ougood?
    ”
    “
    Kissme.
    ”
    “
    Asy
    ouwi
    sh…”
    Heleanedov
    erandf
    renchki
    ssedme,Iki
    ssed
    hi
    m backwit
    hmyhandonhischestashe
    ki
    ssedmeev enmorewhil
    ethefewguest
    s
    cl
    apped.Ipul
    ledawayandhuggedhi
    m.
    “
    Imi
    ssedy
    ou.
    ”
    “Imissedy
    outoo.Iam sor
    ryaboutEll
    en.Idi
    dn’
    t
    evenknowshewascomi ngorwheresheheard
    thenewsfrom.Iwoul
    dneverrui
    nthisdayfor
    you.
    ”
    Isi
    ghedl
    ooki
    ngathi
    m.“
    It
    ’sok.Ij
    ustpani
    cked.
    ”
    Wet urnedtot
    hecrowdast heycl
    appedwhil
    e
    otherstookvi
    deos.Thephot ogr
    aphersmi
    l
    ed
    thensnappedmor epict
    ures.
    Theboatgent lyst
    artedmoving,Il
    ookedat
    Mal colm whowassmi li
    nghappil
    ysitt
    ingwith
    Ky r
    aandAl anawithahugesmi leonmyf ace,
    thatwasj ustcher
    ryontop.Binatookmul t
    ipl
    e
    picturesofthewholescenestandingwitha
    smi l
    e.
    *
    **

    Phat
    simobreathedheav
    il
    ywhi
    l
    eTashaf
    ixed
    her
    sel
    fthensighed.
    “
    Ihav
    etogo.
    ”
    “
    Letmedr
    opy
    ouof
    finsi
    de.
    ”
    Shenoddedt hensteppedout.Phat si
    mot ook
    herhandandl edherinsi
    dethegat e,Tahsatook
    outherhousekey sthenunl
    ockedt hedoorand
    walkedinsi
    dewi t
    hhim behi
    ndher .Het urned
    heraroundandkissedher.
    “Canwegooutforl
    unchtomorr
    ow,orj
    ustdo
    whatevery
    ouar
    ecomf or
    tabl
    ewit
    h.Iam not
    pushi
    ng.”
    Tashasmi
    l
    ed.“
    Lunchwi
    l
    lbef
    ine.
    ”
    “Great
    ,Iwi
    l
    lcomepicky
    ouupaty
    ourwor
    k
    place,
    howisthat
    ?”
    “
    Fine.
    ”
    Hekissedheragai
    n.“
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lyouwhenI
    ar
    ri
    vehome. ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hewal kedoutt
    henshesatdownt houghtf
    ull
    y,
    hervuruswasnowundetectabl
    e,shewondered
    i
    freall
    ytherewasanyneedforhimtoknow, i
    t
    wasnotl i
    keshewoul
    dinfecthi
    m oranythi
    ng.

    *
    **

    Tsotl
    hemadeaf ewnot
    esstar
    ingatt
    hef
    il
    eof
    theproj
    ectshewaswor
    kingon.Ti
    nowal
    ked
    i
    nsidethestudyr
    oom.
    “
    Hey
    ,themov
    iei
    sst
    art
    ing.
    ”
    Shespokewhi
    l
    ejot
    ti
    ngsomethi
    ngdown.“Iam
    goi
    ngtohavet
    omissbabe,
    Iam st
    il
    lwor
    king
    onthi
    s.”
    “
    Youhav
    ebeenwor
    kingont
    hissi
    ncey
    ou
    ar
    ri
    ved.
    ”
    Sheraisedherhead.“Exact
    lybabe,not
    ever
    y oneget shi
    redi
    mmedi at
    elyafterschool,
    I
    knowi t’
    smysecondj obbutit
    ’smyf irstj
    ob
    workingasabi gfact
    or,Iwanttoimpr essthem
    andact uall
    ystayint
    hecompany .Ineedt o
    i
    mpr esst hem.”
    “
    Iknowhuty
    oudeser
    veal
    i
    ttl
    ebr
    eak.
    ”
    “Ngng, Ican’
    tbetakingrests.Tomor rowIam
    goingsiteseei
    ng.Ineedt ohav eeverythi
    ngin
    control
    .”Shesighed.“Iknowy oumeanwel lbut
    Iam reall
    ynervous,t
    hisisabi gproject,i
    fI
    messi tupthenit’
    sov erforme.Iam r eal
    ly
    sorry
    .”
    Tinowalkedoverandki
    ssedher.“
    It
    ’sok,I
    under
    standthepressur
    eyouareunder.
    ”
    “
    Thanks.Ifeell
    i
    kehowy oufeel
    wheny ouar
    e
    managingtheenti
    recompanybecauseyouar
    e
    t
    hechiefexecuti
    ve.
    ”
    Ti
    nolaughed.“
    Don’
    tpani
    ctoomuch,
    justcal
    m
    downanddowhatyourbest.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    l,canpl
    easemakemeaacupofcof
    fee.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hewalkedout ,
    mi nut
    eslat
    erhehandedher,her
    coff
    eemadet hewayshel ikeditt
    henwent
    backtothesitt
    ingroom wherehetri
    ed
    watchi
    ngt hemov i
    ealonebutitgotmoreand
    moreboringthenheslowlydosedoffonthe
    couch.

    *
    **

    Phemeloscr
    oll
    edthroughherfacebookwit
    hher
    headonTendai’
    schestthenshepausedatthe
    pi
    ctur
    esLinahadpostedwithacaption.
    ‘
    Twosoul
    suni
    ted,
    final
    l
    y!’
    Shev
    iewedt
    hebeaut
    if
    ulbr
    idezoomi
    ngi
    nto
    seeherbeaut
    if
    ulgown,Tendai
    lookedather
    phonealsost
    ari
    ngatthebri
    de.
    “
    Ist
    hatEazi
    ?”
    Phemel
    olookedathi
    m.“
    Who?
    ”
    “
    Whopost
    edt
    hat
    ?”
    “
    Somel
    adyIam f
    ri
    endswi
    thonf
    acebook.
    ”
    Het ookthephoneandl ookedatEazi
    ’swedding
    pict
    ureswithOteng.Hegav ePhemelobackher
    phoneandgr abbedhis.Hedialedhi
    sbrother
    thenwalkedoutast hephonerangleavi
    ng
    Phemel ostar
    ingatthebeauti
    fulweddi
    ng
    pict
    ures.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Eazi
    gotmar
    ri
    ed.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Shegotmar
    ri
    ed.Li
    napost
    edt
    hepi
    ctur
    es.
    ”
    “
    Shegotmar
    ri
    edt
    othatt
    hug?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Ican’
    tbeli
    evethi
    s,hepr
    obabl
    yknowshei s
    abouttogot oj
    ail
    thenwantstot
    ieherdownt o
    him.Ican’
    tbeli
    evethi
    s.I
    namat t
    erofwhat?
    Fiveyear
    s,shehasgotmarri
    edmorethanthree
    ti
    mes.”
    “
    Whenl
    astdi
    dyouspeakwi
    thher
    ?”
    “It
    ’sbeenawhi le,Ijustthoughtmay beshe
    woul djustwai t
    .Idon’ tknowwhat ’
    swi thher
    andget ti
    ngmar ri
    edbutIact uallyfeel sorr
    yf or
    her .Shenev erhasasayi nallt
    hisanddoes
    thingstopl easepeopl e.Shepul l
    sMal cint
    oi t
    ever ysi
    nglet i
    me.Iwonderhowl ongi t
    ’sgoing
    tot aketi
    llsheisdi vorcedyetagai normay be
    shej ustwon’ tl
    eav ebecauseshedoesn’ twant
    any onetoseeherasat hi
    rddivorcee.Shei s
    probablygoi ngtost ayev enwhent histhug
    goest ojail
    .”
    “
    Idon’
    tthi
    nkshei
    sst
    il
    lthesamewomany
    ou
    knew.Imetherawhi
    l
    eago,
    shei
    snotwhaty
    ou
    wereusedto.
    ”
    “Shealwaysputupaf açadet ol
    ookli
    ke
    someoneshei snot.Ijustwishshecanopen
    hereyesbeforeit
    ’stoolate.Thi
    sguydoesn’t
    l
    ookl i
    kethetypeawomancanj ustl
    eave,Iam
    actual
    lyscar
    edforherbecauseGodknows
    whatthismancandot oher .
    ”

    Meanwhil
    einsidethehouse, Phemel ol
    ookedat
    herexhusband’scallti
    l
    litstopped.Shesighed
    wonderi
    ngwhyhej ustwon’tleaveheralone.I
    t
    wasenought hathewasr ef
    usingforhertosee
    herchi
    l
    d.Thephonest art
    edr i
    ngingagain,she
    l
    ookedatitti
    lli
    tstoppedt hensheblockedhi s
    numberandcal l
    edherf r
    iend.
    “
    Mel
    o…”
    “
    Sone,
    hekeepscal
    l
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Itol
    dyou.
    ”
    “
    Mxm,IwonderwhatIev
    ensawi
    nhi
    mint
    he
    f
    ir
    stpl
    ace.
    ”
    “Atleasty
    oul
    eftal
    i
    ve,
    somemenwoul
    dhav
    e
    kil
    l
    edy ou.
    ”
    “Somet
    imesIgetscar
    ed,Imean,
    thi
    smancan
    kil
    lmeandnoonewi l
    lev
    erknow.
    ”
    “
    Iknowbutatl
    easty
    ouhav
    eTendai
    .”
    “
    Somet
    imesIgetscar
    edf
    orhi
    m.”
    “
    Youar
    ejustpani
    cki
    ng,
    not
    hingwi
    l
    lhappen.
    ”
    “
    Yeah,
    any
    way
    swewi
    l
    ltal
    k.”
    ShehungupjustasTendai
    wal
    kedbacki
    nsi
    de
    thehouse.
    “
    Ever
    ythi
    ngok?Whoi
    sEazi
    ?”
    “
    Abe’
    sexwi
    fe.
    ”
    “
    Ohhhh…”
    “
    Yeah.Let
    ’swat
    chsomet
    hing.
    ”
    Sheputherphonedownr
    elaxi
    ng.

    *
    **

    Potl
    akowalkedinsidethewit
    chdoct or
    ’shut
    andsatonthefl
    oor .Thetr
    adit
    ionalheal
    er
    l
    ookedathim withredeyes.Hisheartbegun
    poundi
    ngbuthisf r
    iendhadassuredhimt hati
    t
    wouldwork.
    “
    Whatdoy
    ouwant
    ?”
    “Mywi f
    echeatedonmet henhadanot herman
    i
    mpr egnat
    eher,nowsheleftmef ort
    hesame
    manandIcan’ tdoany
    thi
    ngt othem because
    myaut hor
    it
    iesarewat
    chi
    ngme.Iwantmywi f
    e
    back.Iwantyoutodoli
    key oudidformy
    fr
    iend.
    ”
    “
    IfIdot
    hat
    ,shemaydi
    e,y
    ouknowt
    hatr
    ight
    ?”
    “
    Yesbutshewoul
    dhav
    elongcameback.
    ”
    “
    Isee.
    ”
    “
    ButIalsowanttodosomet
    hingt
    otheman
    whotookmywi f
    e.”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “Idon’twanthi
    mtoev
    ergetaner
    ect
    ionev
    eri
    n
    hisli
    fe.”
    “
    Ok,
    doy
    ouhav
    ethei
    rpi
    ctur
    es?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Potl
    akohandedbot hpictur
    est othewitch
    doctorwhot hr
    ewTendai ’
    spictur
    einclearwater
    .
    Thewat ersl
    owl yturnedredthenblack.The
    wit
    chdoct orchantedaf ewthingsthent ookt
    he
    wateranddisappear edwithitoutsi
    de.Hecame
    backsecondsl ater.
    “Unf
    ort
    unatel
    y,t
    hismanhassomet
    hing
    prot
    ect
    inghim,Ican’
    tdoany
    thi
    ngt
    ohim.Let
    ’s
    tr
    yyourwif
    e.”
    Heputclearwateri
    nsidethebowl agai
    nand
    thr
    ewPhemel o’
    sphoto.Potlakolookedatthe
    watert
    henhisheartskippedashesaw
    Phemelolaughi
    ng.I
    twasasi fhewaswat chi
    ng
    TVonlyitwasthewater .
    “
    Arey
    ousur
    eit
    ’swhaty
    ouwant
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Thewi t
    chdoct orgrabbedaf ewt hi
    ngsand
    threwt hem inthewat erchant i
    ngwi tha
    differ
    entlanguage.Pot lakolookedatt hewater
    asi tt
    urnedcl earyetagain.Thewi t
    chdoct or
    tookt hepicturefrom thewat erthent ookal i
    tt
    le
    blackbot t
    leandputt hepi ct
    ur einsi
    det hen
    closedt hebot t
    le.Hetookar edt hreadandt i
    ed
    i
    tar oundt hebot t
    lebeforehandi ngittohi m.
    “It
    ’sdone.Thi
    sbott
    leisher
    .Ify
    ouopenitand
    takethepict
    ureout
    ,shewil
    lbefreedoft
    he
    curse.
    ”
    “Thanky
    ouv
    erymuch,
    howmuchwi
    l
    lal
    lthat
    be?”
    “
    15K.
    ”
    “
    Ihav
    either
    ewi
    thme,
    it’
    sint
    hecar
    .”
    “
    Ify
    ouatt
    emptt
    orun,i
    twi
    llcometoyou
    i
    nst
    eadandf
    oryout
    herei
    snocure.
    ”
    “
    Themoneyi
    sint
    hecar
    ,Ibr
    oughti
    tal
    l
    .”
    Potl
    akorushedt
    othecart
    hencamebackwith
    thebagofmoneyandhandedi
    ttot
    hewitch
    doctor
    .
    “
    It
    ’sal
    li
    nther
    e.”
    “Good.Gowellandnev
    erl
    ookback.Youmi
    ght
    seetheunseen.
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Hejumpedi nhiscarthendroveaway ,
    hisheart
    pounding.Helookedathisrear
    viewmi r
    ror
    ,his
    heartpoundedevenmor eashet houghthesaw
    somet hi
    ngstari
    ngathim st
    andingatthegate
    ofthewit
    chdoctor
    .Hesteppedont
    he
    accel
    erat
    orspeedi
    ngaway.

    *
    **

    Latert
    hatevening,af
    terthecel
    ebrat
    ionov
    erthe
    boatcrui
    se,
    Ot engcarri
    edmei nsi
    dethehotel
    room whi
    leIlaughed.Heplacedmedown.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Hi.
    ”
    Hel eanedov erandkissedme.Hewal ked
    behindmet henunzippedmydr essandhel ped
    meoutofi t.Hepickedmeupandpl acedmeon
    thebedt henst r
    ippedmenaked.Het ookoffhis
    ti
    est ari
    ngatmet henwentov ertomysi deand
    ti
    edonehandt othesideofthebed.Het ook
    outanot herti
    ef r
    om hispocketandt i
    edmy
    otherhandt otheot hersi
    deoft hebed.I
    swall
    owedhar
    dstar
    ingathimi
    nant
    ici
    pat
    ion
    wonderi
    ngwhathewasgoingt
    odotome
    toni
    ght.

    *
    **

    Abesatinthedar kwatchingacrime
    documentariesonhi sTV.Themor ehewat ched
    themoreher eali
    zedhowsmar tthesepeople
    wereandhowt hepoli
    cewer ealwaystwost eps
    behi
    nd.Her educedt hev olumeashi sgate
    openedfol
    lowedbyacardr i
    vi
    nginthey ar
    d.He
    gotupandopenedt hemai ndoor.Hesmi l
    ed
    star
    ingatherst epoutofhercar ,withasmile
    shewalkedov er.
    “
    Ithoughty
    ourf
    li
    ghtwascancel
    l
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Icoul
    dn’
    tsleepanot
    herni
    ghtwit
    houtyou,
    whenyoucall
    edIwasdri
    vi
    ng.Imissedyou.
    ”
    Theyhuggedt
    ight
    ly.
    “
    Imi
    ssedy
    oumor
    e.”
    “
    Andy
    ouar
    eri
    ght
    ,aboutmov
    ingher
    e.”
    Abel
    eanedov
    erandki
    ssedher
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #104

    Thef oll
    owingmor ni
    ng,Isl owlywokeupal one
    ont hebed.Ilookedatmyr i
    ngwi t
    hasmi l
    et hen
    steppeddownt hebedpi ckingupOt eng’
    st-shir
    t
    fr
    om t hefl
    oorandputi ton.Ipausedhear ing
    hi
    sv oi
    cefrom thebal
    cony , Icur
    iousl
    ywalked
    overt ol
    ist
    enbuthi svoicewassol ow.Iwalked
    outtot
    hebalcony
    ,hetur
    nedandlookedatme
    i
    nhisbri
    efs.Heopenedhi
    sarmswat chi
    ngme
    walkov
    erandletmeburrymysel
    fin.
    “Ial
    readycompil
    edev er
    ything,ever
    yonewill
    knowwhatt odoinmyabsence.Samewayi t
    goeswhenIam ar oundisthesamet hi
    ngthat
    will
    goonwhenIam nott here.Idon’
    tli
    kesli
    ps
    upandIwon’ tst
    artnow.Let ’
    skeepitgoodand
    happy.”
    Hehungupandl
    ookedatmewi
    thasmi
    l
    e.
    “
    Heymama….
    ”
    “
    Whoar eyout
    alki
    ngt
    osoear
    lyi
    nthe
    mor
    ning?”
    “Iam br
    ief
    ingmyri
    ghthandmansi
    ncewear
    e
    goingawayforawhil
    e.”
    “
    Oh…”Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Rakae?(
    Wher
    ear
    ewegoi
    ng?
    )”
    “
    Youwi
    l
    lsee.
    ”
    “
    Iwantt
    oseepi
    ctur
    esf
    rom l
    astni
    ght
    .”
    “
    Theymustbewi
    thy
    oursi
    ster
    .”
    “Whoar et
    heki
    dsr
    emai
    ningwi
    thi
    nour
    absence?”
    “
    Pennyi
    staki
    ngt
    hem.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hel eanedoverandkissedmet hent
    urnedme
    aroundpulli
    ngmei nfrontofhi
    m.Hisphone
    rangasr ubbedhiser
    ectiononmybutt,he
    kissedmyneckwhi spering.
    “
    Goandbat
    h,Iam comi
    ng.
    ”
    Itur
    nedandl ookedathi
    m.“Iam notgoi
    ngto
    waitfor
    everandIhopethiswon'
    tbehappeni
    ng
    duri
    ngourhoney moon.”
    Hesmiledki
    ssingmycheek.“
    Ipr
    omi
    se,
    itwon’
    t
    behappeni
    ng.”
    Iwal
    kedbackinsi
    detheroom andwentt
    othe
    bat
    hroom wher
    eIfil
    l
    edthebathtubwi
    thwater
    .
    *
    **

    Tsot
    lhesloweddownatt
    hemor
    ningt
    raf
    fi
    c
    hol
    dingherphonetot
    heear
    .
    “
    Sowhenar
    eyoucol
    l
    ect
    ingy
    ourson?
    ”
    “
    Iam notsur
    e,Ti
    nosai
    dtoday
    .”
    “
    Howi
    syourj
    ob?
    ”
    “
    Fineanddemandi
    ng.Iwi
    l
    lbef
    ine.
    ”
    “Iam happyforyou,alotofyouragematesare
    cryi
    ngov erunemployment,someonewill
    stay
    foryearsnojobyettheywenttouniver
    sit
    y.”
    “
    Iam sogr
    atef
    ult
    hat
    ’swhyIwantt
    oimpr
    ess
    t
    hem.”
    “
    Sowhenam Iexpect
    inganot
    hergr
    andchi
    l
    d?”
    “
    Mama,
    Ijustst
    art
    edwor
    king.
    ”
    “
    So?
    ”
    “
    Ican’
    tgetpr
    egnantnow.Ther
    ear
    eal
    otof
    thi
    ngsIneedtodoandget
    ti
    ngpr
    egnanti
    snot
    oneofthem.”
    “
    What
    'smor
    eimpor
    tantt
    hanst
    art
    ingaf
    ami
    l
    y?”
    “Iwanttoadv anceinmycar eer
    ,Ican’
    tdothat
    pregnant.Iwanttotraveltheworl
    dandenjoy
    mymar r
    iedli
    fewithoutlotofki
    ds.Oneis
    enoughf ornow.”
    “
    Hei
    slonel
    y.
    ”
    “Hegoestocrèchesoit
    ’sfi
    ne.Hei
    sal
    way
    s
    sur
    roundedbyotherki
    ds.”
    “
    Doesy
    ourhusbandknowt
    hat
    ?”
    “Yes.MamaTinoi
    sfi
    newi
    thi
    t,he
    underst
    ands.
    ”
    “
    Ify
    ousayso.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lsendmoneybef
    oret
    heendoft
    heday
    .”
    “
    Tinoal
    readysent
    .”
    “
    Oh,
    ok.
    ”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Shedr oppedthecallast hetraf
    fi
    cmov ed,she
    turnedupherr adioli
    steningtoasong.Awhi l
    e
    l
    atershest eppedoutofhercarandwal ked
    i
    nsi dethebuil
    ding.Shesmi ledatt
    he
    recepti
    onist.
    “
    Mor
    ning…”
    “
    Hi.
    .”
    Tsotl
    he’
    sheelsechoedwi
    theachstepshetook,
    shewentstr
    aightt
    oheroff
    icewhereshe
    openedthewindowsandsatdown.Heroff
    ice
    phonerang.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi,
    thi
    sisHR,
    it’
    sabouty
    ourPA.
    ”
    “
    Oh.
    .”
    “
    Yes,
    shei
    sst
    art
    ingt
    oday
    .”
    “
    Ok,
    thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Tsotl
    heputthephonedownandtookouther
    l
    aptopjustassomeoneknockedont
    hefoor.
    “
    Comei
    n…”
    Thedooropenedandaladywal
    kedi
    n,ol
    der
    thanher.“
    Goodmorni
    ngmam, mynameis
    Nkemi.”
    “
    ThePA?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Howol
    dyou?
    ”
    “
    36y
    ear
    sol
    d.”
    “Wow,ok,
    youmaysit.wewil
    lgot
    hrougha
    coupl
    ethi
    ngst
    ogetherandsomeIwil
    ltel
    lyou
    asti
    megoeson.”
    “
    Yesmam.
    ”

    *
    **
    Theschool
    busbeepedfr
    om thegatethen
    Summerwalkedoverwi
    thherbrot
    her.Abe
    cr
    ouchedbefor
    ethem.
    “
    Okguy
    s,Iwi
    l
    lsseey
    oul
    ater
    .”
    “
    Okdaddy
    .”
    Hehuggedt hem adwalkedoutwi t
    hthem.He
    watchedthem getintheschoolbusandrai
    sed
    hi
    shandwav i
    ngast heschoolbusdroveaway
    .
    Hewal kedbackinsi
    dehishouse.
    “
    Thanksf
    orpr
    epar
    ingt
    hem.
    ”
    Reneil
    wesmil
    ed.“
    It'
    sok.Youy
    our
    sel
    fdoa
    pret
    tygoodj
    obwiththem."
    Hewalkedov
    erandki ssedher
    .“Iam bot
    htheir
    f
    atherandmother
    ,ifIdon'
    tdoapr et
    tygoodjob
    whowill
    ?”
    “
    Bot
    hki
    dsar
    ewar
    mingupt
    omepr
    ett
    ywel
    l
    .”
    “Maybef
    oryoutoreall
    ybondwi
    tht
    heki
    dsyou
    shoul
    dstayher
    e.Iknowyouhav
    emadeSouth
    Afri
    cayourhomebutit
    ’sclearl
    ynotwor
    king.
    Comeandst aywi
    ththekids,gett
    oreal
    l
    yknow
    them.”
    “
    Ineedt
    ogoandseemyf
    ami
    l
    y.”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    “
    Ican’tbel
    iev
    eImadesuchast
    upi
    dmov
    e,I
    wasjustscared.
    ”
    “
    Thi
    sisy
    ourt
    imet
    ocor
    recty
    ourwr
    ongs.
    ”
    “
    Iam scar
    ed,
    may
    bepapai
    sst
    il
    langr
    y."
    "
    Hewi
    l
    lbehappyt
    oseey
    ou.
    "
    Renei
    smil
    ed.“
    Youar
    erunni
    ngl
    ate,
    youneedt
    o
    gotowor
    k.”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    Heki ssedheragai
    nthenwal kedout.Renei
    smiledstari
    ngatthehouse,itneededabitof
    herinteri
    ordesi
    gni
    ngskil
    ls.Shesatdownt hen
    tookherphoneandcalledherf r
    iend.
    “
    Renei
    …”
    “
    HeyZano,
    Iar
    ri
    vedsaf
    ely
    .”
    “Hey,
    that
    ’sgr
    eat.Iwaswor
    ri
    ed.I
    t’
    sreal
    l
    y
    unsaf
    etobedriv
    ingatni
    ght
    .”
    “Iwassacr
    edtheent
    ir
    eti
    mebutitwaswor
    thi
    t.
    Iam t
    hinki
    ngofmovi
    bgheref
    orgood.
    ”
    “
    Iagr
    ee.Theupanddownsar
    etoomuch.
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    Iwi
    l
    ltal
    ktoy
    oul
    ater
    .”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Reneihungupt henwenttoAbe’
    sbedroom
    whereshechangedi nt
    oaf or
    maldressand
    heelsthenwalkedoutwit
    hherhandbaggoing
    forherint
    erv
    iew.

    *
    **

    Li
    nawal
    kedar
    oundt
    hehousei
    nMaun,
    itwas
    socleanshewonder edifTanhadacleaning
    l
    adyt hatcameev er
    yweek, hehadnever
    mentionedit.Herphonerangthenshepicked
    wit
    hasmi l
    esitt
    ing.
    “
    Heybabe…”
    “
    Hey
    .”
    “
    Howwast
    heweddi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Itwasper
    fect
    .”
    “
    Youdi
    dawonder
    ful
    job.
    ”
    “
    Thanks,
    youshoul
    dhav
    ebeent
    her
    e.”
    “
    IknowbutIam st
    uckher
    e.”
    “Iknow,Iunder
    stand.Iam goi
    ngbackt
    o
    Gaboronetoday.
    ”
    “Yeah,
    Iam al
    soheadi
    ngst
    rai
    ghthomewhenI
    comeback.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    Shehungupthenstoodupandsear chedt
    he
    houseagai
    nforany
    thingsuspi
    cious.

    *
    **

    Sadisatonamati nhersit
    ti
    ngroom doingt he
    breathi
    ngexer
    cises.Shefi
    nal
    lystoodupt hen
    st
    r et
    ched,
    someoneknockedont hedoor.She
    st
    oodupandopened.Apr egnantwoman
    l
    ookedatherthenbr okedowncrying.Sadi
    l
    ookedatherconf used.
    “
    Isev
    ery
    thi
    ngok?HowcanIhel
    pyou?
    ”
    “
    GodKaneno…”
    Sadi
    ’sheartstar
    tedpoundingasshel
    ookedat
    thepregnantwomancr y
    ing.
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?Comei
    n.”
    Sadihel
    pedherinsi
    dethehouset
    hent
    heybot
    h
    satonthecouch,pr
    egnant
    .
    “
    Hi,
    mynamei
    sSasi
    .Ar
    eyouok?
    ”
    Thewomansni
    ff
    ed.“
    Mynamei
    sNeel
    o.How
    farar
    eyou?
    ’
    “
    Excuseme?
    ”
    “
    Howf
    ararey
    ou?Iam 8mont
    hspr
    egnant
    .Thi
    s
    i
    smyt
    hir
    dchi
    ldwi
    thKane.
    ”
    Sadi
    ’
    shear
    tski
    pped.“
    No…”
    Neel
    onodded.“
    Howmanyki
    dsdoy
    ouhav
    e?”
    “
    Thi
    sismysecondone.
    ”
    “
    Iguesshepl
    ayedbot
    hofus.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    ely
    ing.
    ”
    NeelotookherphoneandshowedSadipi
    ctures
    ofherminiper
    fectfami
    ly.Sadi
    ’
    sworl
    dcame
    cr
    ushingdownasshest aredatmor
    epict
    ures.
    “
    Youst
    ayi
    nGabor
    one?
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    andy
    ouar
    etheonei
    nMaun.
    ”
    “
    MyGod…”
    “
    Hehasawi
    fei
    ntheUK.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Heismarri
    ed,
    Ijustfoundout
    .Ican’
    tbel
    i
    eve
    t
    his,
    andheisi
    njail
    .”
    “
    Wai
    twhat
    ?”
    “
    Hewasar
    rest
    edf
    ort
    ranspor
    ti
    ngdr
    ugs.
    ”
    “
    No….
    ”
    “Yes.Idon’tevenknowwhatIam goingtodo
    withthreekids.Ev
    eryt
    hingIhav
    eisinhisname
    andhiswi f
    ei ssui
    ngbothofus,sheknows.”
    Sadibl
    inkedtryi
    ngtofi
    ghtoffthedizzi
    nessbut
    shegotmor eandmor edi
    zzysi t
    ti
    ngtherethen
    cl
    osedherey eslosi
    ngconscious.Neel
    olooked
    atherpanicki
    ng.
    “
    Sadi
    !Sadi
    !”
    Sheshookhert
    hentri
    edmovi
    ngher
    .Herhear
    t
    ski
    ppedasshereal
    i
    zedthebl
    oodst
    ainon
    Sadi
    ’sdr
    ess.

    *
    **

    Phemelowalkedinsi
    deherof fi
    cet oi
    letand
    changedhertampoony etagain,shewas
    bleedi
    ngsomuchshecoul dn’
    tev enunderst
    and
    whatwasgoingon.Sheputapadonherpant y
    i
    ncaseitgotmessythenwal kedoutandsat
    downjustasSonewal kedinherof fi
    ce.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    Phemel
    osmi
    l
    ed.“
    Hey
    ..
    ”
    “SohubbyandIareplanni
    ngatr
    iptoMuar
    it
    ious
    andwet houghtmay
    bey ouandTendai
    can
    comewi th.
    ”
    Phemel
    osmi
    l
    ed.“
    Real
    l
    y?”
    “Yes,
    itwi
    llbefun.AndIhav
    etosay
    ,my
    husbandgetsalongwit
    hTendai
    moret
    hanhe
    didwit
    hPotlako.”
    “Mma,Ihadthemostwei
    rdestdr
    eam,Idr
    eamt
    Potl
    akowasputt
    ingmeinacagethenhejust
    l
    eftmethere.
    ”
    “
    Acage?
    ”
    “Yes.Iwokeupbleedi
    ngheavi
    ly.Iam st
    il
    l
    bleedingri
    ghtnowbutIhadal
    readyhadmy
    period.”
    “
    May
    bey
    oupani
    cked.
    ”
    “Idi
    d,Iwassoscaredbutaft
    erheputmeint
    he
    cage,hewassayi
    ngthingsIcoul
    dn’
    teven
    underst
    and.
    ”
    “I
    t’
    sjustadr
    eam,
    don’tthi
    nkabouthi
    mthat
    much.Looknowyouareevendreami
    ngabout
    hi
    m.”
    “
    Youar
    eri
    ght
    .”
    *
    **

    Atthepol
    i
    cest
    ati
    on,
    thedet
    ect
    ivel
    ookedat
    Kane.
    “I
    fyouspeak,y ouwi l
    lgetalessersent
    ence.
    Thejudgewillsurelygiv
    ey oualessersentence
    aft
    eryoutel
    luswhoy ouarewor ki
    ngfor.We
    knowthatpersonandweknowhei sdangerous,
    wewi l
    lpr
    otecty ourfamili
    esandy ouyourself
    andwhenhei si njail
    ,hecan’tdonothi
    ng
    much.”
    Kanelookedatt
    hepol
    i
    ceoff
    icerknowi
    ngt
    hat
    openi
    nghismouthwassi
    gni
    nghisowndeath
    sent
    ence.
    “Nothi
    ngisgoingtohappentoyou,hewon’tdo
    anythi
    ngtoyou.wewi l
    lmakesureofit.The
    staewil
    lprot
    etyoufrom hi
    m andhi
    sassociates.
    Justtel
    luswhoy ouareworki
    ngfor.”
    “
    Ihav
    eki
    ds.
    ”
    “Wewill
    prot
    ectt
    hem.Oncehei
    sinj
    ail
    ,ther
    eis
    not
    hinghecandotoyou.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’ssomeguy
    ,Emmanuel
    .”
    Thedetecti
    veopenedafil
    eandt
    ookouta
    pi
    ctur
    et henshoweditt
    oKane.“
    Thi
    sone?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Whatabouthi
    m?”
    Het
    ookoutanot
    herpi
    ctur
    eandshowedhi
    m.
    “
    Doyouknowthi
    sone?”
    “
    No.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    ousur
    e?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Yourfami
    l
    yi spr
    otect
    ed.Nooneisgoi
    ngt
    odie
    andy ouwi
    llbeoi
    utofjai
    lbef
    orey
    ouknowit
    .”
    Kanenodded.Thedet
    ect
    ivewal
    kedout
    .
    “
    Wear
    emaki
    ngar
    rest
    s.”
    “
    Isi
    tOt
    eng?
    ”
    “No,butIknowhei sinv
    olved.I
    t’
    sonlyamat t
    er
    ofti
    met i
    llIcatchhi
    m.Hi sdaysarenumber ed
    andheisgoi ngtogodownf oralongt i
    me.He
    bett
    erenjoyhismarri
    agewhi l
    eitsti
    l
    llasts.
    ”
    Thepoli
    ceoffi
    cer
    slaughed,oneoft
    hepol
    ice
    off
    icer
    sexcusedhimsel
    fpressi
    nghi
    sphone.
    Heputthephoneonhisear.
    "
    Tal
    ktome?
    "
    "
    Hesai
    dexact
    lywhaty
    ousai
    d."
    "
    Good,t
    ellhi
    m hewil
    lbeoutinafewday s.Let
    t
    hedustsett
    lewhi
    letheychaseghost
    s."
    "
    Ok.
    "
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe
    #105

    ReneilwewalkedoutofModestI nter
    ior
    Designersputt
    ingonhersunglasses,herbody
    huggingdressshowingherlit
    tl
    ebump.She
    unl
    ockedhercarf rom adist
    antthentookout
    herringi
    ngphone.Shef l
    ashedabeaut i
    fulsmi
    le
    l
    ookingatthecallerI
    D.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Thepr
    odi
    gal
    daught
    er!
    ”
    “
    Nickyweh!Leav
    emeal
    one.
    ”
    “
    Thepr
    odi
    gal
    daught
    eri
    sfi
    nal
    l
    yback.
    ”
    “
    Iam t
    ir
    edofr
    unni
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Youshoul
    dbe,
    so?Youar
    ebackf
    orgood?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    What
    ’st
    hepl
    an?
    ”
    “
    Iam pr
    egnant
    .”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “IknowbutithappenedandIhaveacceptedit
    .
    Itmighthavebeenami st
    akebecausereal
    ly
    Abewasnotr eadyforachil
    dbutwehav e
    acceptedit
    .”
    “
    Renei
    l
    we…”
    “Iwi
    lldealwit
    hpapa.Ifhedecidestodisown
    met hat’
    shisownissue,Iam t
    iredofbegging
    people.Li
    feiswhatiti
    s.”
    “
    Whywouldyougetpregnantwit
    houtget
    ti
    ng
    mar
    ri
    ed?Youaretheonlyoneinourfami
    ly.
    ”
    “
    Wear
    enott
    hesame.
    ”
    “
    Ireal
    lyt
    houghtyouwoul
    dcomebackanddeal
    wi
    ththeissuey
    oulef
    tbehi
    nd.
    ”
    “Thati
    snotmyi ssuetodeal
    with.I
    t’
    s
    unfort
    unatepapaonlyhavef
    emalechil
    dren.
    Thechieft
    aincyi
    ssti
    llgoi
    ngtogotoanother
    house.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    eri
    ght
    ful
    hei
    rtot
    het
    hrone.
    ”
    “Theburdent hatcomeswi t
    ht hatthr
    onei snot
    somet hi
    ngIwantt odealwith.Plus,not
    everyonewant smeory ouont hatthrone.That
    throneisgoingtogot oUncleGoi t
    seronaand
    thatcan’tbeavoided.Ij
    ustgotaj obsoIwi l
    l
    comet heretomor r
    ow.”
    Ni
    ckysi
    ghed.“
    Ok.
    ”
    Renei
    l
    wehungupandcl osedhereyesfora
    moment.Sheopenedt
    hem thenstart
    edthecar
    anddrov
    eaway.
    *
    **

    Neelowalkedinsi
    detheroom wher
    eSadiwas
    sleepi
    ngandlookedathersadly
    .Shewondered
    howshewoul dtakethenews,fi
    ndi
    ngoutthat
    themany outhoughtl
    ovedyouwasmar r
    iedand
    seeinganotherwomanwasnoteasybutl osi
    ng
    thebabymadei tal
    lworse.Herphonerangthe
    shet ooki
    toutandanswered.Tearsi
    tchi
    ngher
    eyes.
    “
    Heybabe…”
    “
    Sadi
    isi
    nhospi
    tal
    .”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “Sadi
    ,yourothergi
    rl
    fri
    end,
    shei sinhospi
    tal
    .
    Shelostthebaby.Iknowthetruth,weboth
    knowandsodoesy ourwif
    e.”
    “
    Whathappenedt
    oSadi
    .”
    “
    Shel
    ostt
    hebaby
    .It
    oldhert
    het
    rut
    h.”
    “
    Whywoul
    dyoudot
    hatf
    or?
    ”
    “
    Whatdoyoumean?Shedeser
    vedt
    oknow
    whaty
    ouaredoi
    ng,
    play
    ingus!
    ”
    “Iwasn’tplayi
    nganyone,
    menottell
    ingy
    out he
    truthdoesn’tmeanIwasplayi
    ngyou.Orat
    a
    attent
    ionNeeloandIam tir
    edofy
    ourbehavour,
    coul
    dn’
    tyout
    hinkf
    orher
    ?”
    “
    Youar
    ecr
    azy
    .Howdar
    eyout
    ell
    met
    hat
    ?”
    “
    Ilov
    eSadiandshei
    snotgoi
    nganywher
    e.I
    f
    y
    ouwanttoleav
    eme,doso,Iwon’
    tst
    opyou.
    ”
    Tearsf
    il
    ledherey
    es.“
    Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evey
    ou,
    your
    wif
    eissuing.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    ldeal
    wit
    hmywi
    fe.
    ”
    “Iwouldratherbeal onethanst i
    ckupt ot
    his.I
    willnotl
    etmyki dsliveinembar rassmentKane.
    NowIseewhyy oumademequi tmyjob,so
    thatIcanfull
    ydependony ou.Iam walki
    ng
    awaywi t
    hmypr ideanddi gnit
    y.Iwill
    notletyou
    turnmei nt
    osomet hingthatIam not.”
    Neel
    ohungupt
    henshookSadi
    gent
    ly.
    “
    HeySadi
    …”
    Sadisl
    owlyopenedhereyest
    henbl
    i
    nkedsl
    owl
    y.
    “Shoul
    dIcal
    lthedoctor
    ?”
    Sadi
    touchedherdef
    lat
    edst
    omachand
    f
    rowned.“
    Wher
    eismybaby
    ?”
    “Iam sor r
    y.May beit’
    smyf ault
    ,Ishouldn’thave
    toldyouaboutKanebutIf eltyouneededt o
    know.Youl ostthebaby ,thedoct orstri
    edt heir
    bestbuti twast oolate.Ican’ tbegintoimagi ne
    whaty ouar egoingthr oughbutIwi shitwer e
    me.Iam wal ki
    ngawaywi tht hr
    eekids,Ilet
    my selfgetplayed.IwonderwhyInev ernot i
    ced
    any t
    hingpeculiar,
    may beIwasj ustdesper ate
    forrealloveandInev erl ackedany thingwi th
    thi
    smanbutIam notgoi ngt ostayforthis.It
    ’s
    eit
    hermeornot hi
    ngatal l
    .Iam sor r
    yagai n,I
    hopey ouheal .
    ”
    Neelotur
    nedandwal
    kedawaywipingawayher
    tear
    s.Sadi
    ’st
    ear
    srol
    leddownhercheeks,
    her
    babywasgone,j
    ustl
    i
    kethat.
    *
    **

    Lat
    ert
    hatday
    ,Ti
    nocl
    osedof
    fthemeet
    ingwi
    th
    hi
    sbr
    other
    sast
    heysati
    nhi
    sof
    fi
    ce.
    Abenoddedi
    mpr
    essed.“
    Ili
    ket
    hat
    .”
    “
    Yeah,
    met
    oo.“
    Ti
    nosmi
    l
    ed.“
    Great
    ,wewi
    l
    lgett
    hebal
    lmov
    ing.
    ”
    Tendai
    lookedatAbe.“
    Didt
    hepr
    incessar
    ri
    ve?
    ”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    “Youshouldt
    ell
    youruncl
    esthaty
    oumadey
    et
    anotherwomanpregnant
    .”
    “Idi
    dn’tpl
    anthatpregnancy,ReneiknewIdi
    dn’
    t
    wantachild,
    sheassur edmeshewason
    contr
    acepti
    ves.Idon’twantanotherbaby
    ,not
    now.”
    “Whatareyougoi
    ngt
    odo,
    shei
    sal
    ready
    pregnant
    .”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lseebutshehast
    oabor
    t.
    ”
    Tinolookedathi
    m.“
    Yout
    hinkshewi
    l
    lagr
    eet
    o
    that
    ?”
    “
    Shewi
    l
    l,Iwi
    l
    lconv
    inceher
    .”
    “Shelovesyou.Whycan’ ty
    oujustsettl
    ewit
    h
    her?Therei
    snoguar ant
    eethatevenifEazi
    ’
    s
    husbandgetsarrestedshewillcomebackto
    you.Eit
    herway,will
    y oubereadytotakecareof
    anotherman’schil
    d? ”
    “Iam r
    eadyforanythi
    ng,Eazimovedont othat
    thugbecauseIhurther.i
    Ilov
    eher,Iwanttotal
    k
    toheronelastt
    imeandi fshedoesn’tf
    eelthe
    samet henIwil
    lcompletel
    ymoveon. ”
    Tendai
    ’
    sphoner
    ang.Het
    ooki
    toutand
    answer
    ed.
    “
    Babe?
    ”
    “Hey,Ihav
    ebeenadmitt
    edinhospi
    tal
    ,Iam
    bleedi
    ngheav
    il
    y,Idon’
    tknowwhat’
    sgoingon.
    ”
    “
    Whatar
    ethedoct
    orssay
    ing?
    ”
    “Thecan’
    tfi
    ndanythi
    ng.If
    eel
    soweak,i
    t’
    sli
    keI
    am dyi
    ng.Theyar
    egivingmemor
    eblood.”
    “
    Iam comi
    ng,
    don’
    tpani
    c,noonei
    sdy
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Iam scar
    edTendai
    .”
    “
    Not
    hingi
    sgoi
    ngt
    ohappen.Iam comi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    Tendai
    gotup.“
    Ihav
    etogo.Wewi
    l
    ltal
    k.”
    Hehurr
    iedoutandgoti
    nhi
    scarst
    ari
    ngt
    he
    engi
    ne.

    *
    **

    Atthehospi
    tal
    ,Phemel
    olayont
    hebedwi
    th
    Sonebyherside.
    “Youaregoingt
    obef
    ine.Wehav
    ecal
    l
    eda
    speci
    ali
    st.
    ”
    “
    Cal
    lmamaf
    orme.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Sonetookthephonethendi
    aledPhemelo’
    s
    motherandputthephoneonloudspeaker
    .
    “Mel
    o,ar
    ey ouok?Ihav
    ebeentr
    yingt
    ocal
    lyou
    butt
    hist
    hinghasnoair
    time.
    ”
    “Iam i
    nhospi
    tal
    .Iam notf
    eel
    i
    ngwel
    l
    .Iam
    bleedi
    ngheav
    il
    y.
    ”
    “
    Ihadadr
    eam.Weneedt
    opr
    ay.
    ”
    “
    Ma?
    ”
    “Weneedtopray
    .If
    elti
    tint
    hespir
    it
    ,something
    happenedandwear
    egoingtosenditbackto
    thesender
    .”
    “
    Idon’
    twanttodi
    e.Ikeepget
    ti
    ngmor
    eand
    moreweak.
    ”
    “Nooneisdyi
    ng.Webel
    ievei
    ntheOneup
    abov
    e,youwil
    lnotdi
    eti
    l
    l y
    ourti
    mescomes,
    til
    l
    Hecall
    sfory
    ou.Let’
    spr
    ay…”
    Phemel
    o’smot
    herst
    art
    edpr
    ayi
    ng.Phemel
    o
    closedherey es,hermot herhadal waysbeena
    prayerwomansi nceshecoul dremember .
    Phemel o’
    smot her’
    spr ayergotmor eandmor e
    deeperassheswi t
    chedt opr ayi
    ngi ntongues.
    Phemel oclosedherey esasherst omach
    twistedpainful
    ly,sopai nfuli
    tfeltasifshewas
    givi
    ngbi r
    th.Shegr untedi npainwhi l
    eher
    mot herconti
    nuedwi t
    hherpr ayer.
    “
    Sone…”
    Sonel ookedatherwor ri
    edl
    yasshest ar
    ted
    screamingi npain.Phemel ofel
    tthemuch
    neededneedt opusht henshegr unt
    edpushing.
    Herbonesf el
    tasiftheywer ecracki
    ngthena
    bloodclotslippedoutt oherpad.Shethrewher
    headbackbr eathi
    ngheav il
    ywit
    hr el
    i
    ef.Her
    mot herclosedherpray er.
    “
    Amen,
    youar
    efr
    eemybaby
    .It
    ’sov
    er.
    ”
    “
    Ng…”
    “
    Whoev
    erdi
    dsomet
    hing,
    itwi
    l
    lseehi
    m.Don’
    t
    wor
    ry.Godi
    sther
    e.”
    Shesl
    owlycl
    osedherey
    esfal
    li
    ngasl
    eep.Sone
    si
    ghedst
    ari
    ngatPhemelosl
    eepi
    ng.
    “
    Shej
    ustsl
    ept
    .”
    “Ok,pl
    easet
    ell
    hert
    ocal
    lmeonceshewakes
    up.”
    “
    Ehmma.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    oumygi
    rl
    .”
    Sonehungupthenputthephonedownandput
    onhergl
    oves.Shegrabbedabucketandbegun
    cl
    eani
    ngupherf r
    iend.

    *
    **

    I
    ntheplane,
    Isatbesi
    deOt engwi
    thmyheadon
    hi
    schestwhil
    ewewat chedanacti
    onmov i
    eon
    hi
    slapt
    opinourpri
    vat
    ef i
    rstcl
    asssui
    te.He
    ki
    ssedmycheek.
    “Sohowlongdowewai
    tti
    l
    lwest
    artt
    ryi
    ngf
    or
    anot
    herchil
    d?”
    Il
    ookedathi
    m.“
    Don’
    tyout
    hinkwehav
    e
    enoughki
    ds?
    ”
    “
    Mal
    col
    m needscompany
    .Hei
    sal
    lal
    one.
    ”
    “Wewilldiscussthatwhenwegobackhome.I
    am notdiscussinghavi
    ngmoreki
    dsonmyway
    tomyhoney moon.”
    Heki
    ssedme.“
    Iam notsay
    ingnow,
    wheny
    ou
    ar
    eready
    .”
    “
    Idon’
    twantt
    ohav
    eal
    otofki
    ds.
    ”
    “4i
    snotal otofki
    ds.Justanevennumber.
    Malcol
    mr eall
    yneedssomecompany .Justone
    morethenwear edone.WhenIam notaround,
    heisonl
    ysur r
    oundedbyladi
    es,heneedsmale
    company.OnedaywhenIdon’ tcomeback,who
    i
    sgoingtokeephim company?”
    “
    Wheny
    oudon’
    tcomebackf
    rom wher
    e?”
    Hel ookedatmethensmil
    ed.“
    Justagener
    al
    point.ImaysayIam comi
    ngbacktodayt
    henI
    can’t.
    ”
    “Youar
    elyi
    ngtome,
    what
    ’sgoi
    ngon?Ar
    eyou
    goingt
    ojai
    l
    ?”
    “
    No.
    ”
    “
    Oteng…”
    “
    Imi
    ghtormi
    ghtnot
    .”
    Tear
    sfi
    l
    ledmyey
    es.“
    Oteng…”
    “
    Itwon’
    tbef
    oral
    ongt
    ime.
    ”
    “Whycan’ twej ustl
    i
    v eanormalli
    fe?Don’twe
    haveenoughmoney ?Youhav ealotof
    businesses,wecandowi thoutt
    heextramoney.
    Iwantmyki dst ogr
    owupwi t
    hbothparents
    Oteng.Iam t i
    redofhavingtodealwiththe
    samet hingov erandover.Iwanttobehappy,
    don’tsnatchawaymyhappi nessfrom me.
    Pl
    ease!
    ”
    “Iam donewi thitbutther
    ewer ethingst hat
    werealreadygoi ngon,Iam justendingt hem,I
    am notgoingt ojail
    ,i
    t’
    sjustmel ookingint o
    everyscenario,notnecessari
    lymeani ngIam
    goingtojail
    .Ialsowanty ouandt heki dstoliv
    e
    anor malli
    fe,Idon’twanttoliveinfearany more
    butsomet hingsy oujustcan’tquit
    ,thereisa
    wayi t
    sdone.”
    “
    Iwantt
    obehappy
    .”
    “AndIwillmakei tmyev erydaydut y
    .Iloveyou.
    ”
    Hekissedmer ubbi ngat earthathadr andown
    mycheek.“ Tr
    ustme.Thi sisf or
    ever,y
    ouand
    ourkidsaremyf irstpri
    orit
    y ,
    nothingcomes
    beforeyouandt hekids.Imaynotbet hebest
    humanoutt hereandIdon’ tgiveashitbutwhen
    i
    tcomest omyf ami l
    y,Igiveitmyall,youknow
    that.
    ”
    Heki
    ssedmeagai
    nandsmi
    l
    edmaki
    ngme
    bl
    ush.“
    Youar
    egoi
    ngt
    oenj
    oyt
    his,
    Mrs.B.
    ”
    Ir
    estedmyheadonhi
    schestagai
    ntur
    ningmy
    at
    tenti
    onbackt
    othel
    apt
    op.

    *
    **

    Potlakost aredatthebl ackbot tl


    e.Heknew
    somet hingwasgoi ngonandt omorrowhe
    woul dgoandmakehi smov e.Feelingthe
    pressingneedt opee, hestoodupandwal ked
    tothebat hroom leavinghisbot t
    leofbeerdown.
    Inthet oil
    et,hetookouthi ddi ckandat t
    empt ed
    topeebutnot hingwascomi ngout.Hewal ked
    outoft het oil
    etconfusedf eeli
    ngmor eand
    mor epr essed.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #106

    Tsot
    lhewal
    kedinsi
    deherhousethensmi
    l
    ed
    l
    ooki
    ngatTinoseat
    edwi t
    hhisson.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    Hersonranovertoher,shepi
    ckedhi
    m up
    smil
    ingandwalkedovertoTi
    nothensatdown.
    “
    Heybabe…Igotdel
    ayedatt
    hesi
    te.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok,
    Ior
    der
    edsomet
    hingt
    oeat
    .”
    “
    Ok,t
    hanks.Iam sot
    ir
    ed.Iam gl
    adt
    omor
    rowi
    s
    aSat
    urday
    .”
    “
    Soam I
    .”
    Sheputhersondownandtookof
    fhershoes
    put
    ti
    ngherlegsonhi
    slap.
    “
    Myf
    eethur
    tal
    ot.Remi
    ndmenextt
    imet
    o
    car
    ryf
    latshoes.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lruny
    ouabat
    h.”
    Tsot
    lhesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Iwoul
    dlov
    ethat
    ,thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Hegotupandwalkedtothei
    rbedroom.Her
    phoner
    angthenshereachedfori
    tand
    answer
    ed.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    HiTsot
    lhe,
    it’
    stheoff
    ice.Youf
    orgoty
    our
    l
    apt
    ophere,Iam l
    eav
    ing.”
    “
    Ohno…”
    “
    Iwoul
    ddropitoffbutIdon’thaveacar
    .Mr
    Mot
    husii
    ssti
    l
    l here,
    Iwil
    lleaveitwi
    thhi
    m.”
    “
    Idon’
    twantt
    odi
    stur
    bhi
    m.”
    “
    Youwon’tt
    houghhei
    sal
    mostknocki
    ngof
    f.
    Hur
    ryup.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Shehungupj
    ustasTi
    nowal
    kedi
    n.“
    Babe,
    I
    f
    orgotmyl
    apt
    op.Ihav
    etogoandgeti
    t.
    ”
    “
    Let
    ’sgot
    oget
    her
    .”
    Shesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Ok.
    ”
    Shetookt hei
    rsonandwal kedoutwi t
    hhim
    whil
    ehef oll
    owedbehi nd.Theygotinthenhe
    droveoff,awhil
    elaterhepar kedi
    nfrontoft
    he
    buil
    ding.Tsot
    lhelookedov ertoherboss'
    scar.
    “
    Twomi
    nut
    esbabe.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Shesteppedoutandrushedinsi
    dethebui
    ldi
    ng
    toherboss’
    soffi
    ce.Sheknockedsoft
    lyonthe
    door.
    “
    Yeah…”
    Tsot
    lheopenedhisdoorandwal
    kedi
    nfi
    ndi
    ng
    hi
    m packi
    nghisthings.
    “
    Goodev
    eni
    ng,
    Igotcal
    l
    ed,
    Ifor
    gotmyl
    apt
    op.
    ”
    “
    Yeah,
    ther
    eiti
    s.”
    Shewal
    kedov
    ert
    othet
    abl
    eandt
    ooki
    t.
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Don’tmakeahabbi
    tofleav
    ingy
    ouri
    mport
    ant
    t
    hingsar
    ound,
    youneverknowwholi
    kesy
    ou.”
    “
    Yessi
    r.
    ”
    Owenlookedatt
    heri
    ngonherfi
    ngerand
    l
    ookedawaywithasmil
    e.“
    Yourhusbandi
    sone
    l
    uckyman.Haveagoodeveni
    ng.
    ”
    Tsot
    lhenodded.“
    Yout
    oo.
    ”
    Shewal
    kedoutandwentbacktothecarwher
    e
    Ti
    nowasscrol
    l
    ingonhisphone.
    “
    Ok,
    let
    ’sgo.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hestart
    edthecarj ustasherbosswalkedout
    .
    Heunlockedhiscart henjumpedinand
    r
    ever
    sed.Her aisedhi shanddri
    vi
    ngoff.
    “
    That
    ’smyboss.
    ”
    “
    Isee.
    ”

    *
    **

    Reneifini
    shedwi t
    hherromant icsetupi nthe
    bedroom andlightedt
    hescenet edcandl es.She
    satont hebedinherbeaut i
    fuldress.Shehad
    toldhimt ogi
    veheronly20mi nut es.Sheheard
    footst
    epsapproachingthenstoodup.He
    openedt hedoorandwal kedint henfrowned
    stari
    ngathersetup.
    Reneilwesmi led.“
    IthoughtIwoul ddo
    somet hi
    ngni ceforus.”Shewal kedov ertohim
    andhel dhishands.“Wemett woy ear
    sback, i
    n
    theplane.Youdi dn’
    taskf ormynumberandI
    thoughtIwoul dneverseey out i
    llImety ou
    again.Iknewt herehadbeensomeonewhohad
    l
    eftani mprintinyourheart,Icouldsti
    llseeher
    i
    ny oureyesbutast i
    mewenton, it’sl
    i
    ket he
    i
    mpr intwasgone.Il ovey ouandIknowt his
    pregnancyi snotsi t
    tingwel lwi thy ou,Idon’ t
    wanti ttoseem asi fIam f orci ngy ouort rying
    totrapy ouwi t
    hababysoIam wi l
    lingtoabor ti
    f
    that’
    swhaty ouwant .Ihav er ealizedy ounev er
    sayany t
    hingwhenIt alkaboutt hispregnancy ,I
    don’twantasi tuationwher eaf terIgiv ebirth
    youabandony ourchi ldbecausey ounev er
    want edt hatchild.”Shesmi l
    ed.“ Il
    ov ey ouandI
    wantwhat ’
    sherebuti fyouf eel youar est il
    lnot
    ready ,Ineedy out otellmeandl etmegoso
    thaty oudon’ tstri
    ngmeal ongwhi lewai ti
    ngf or
    yourt ruelove.Icanmakey ouhappy ,Iknowi t
    butonl yifyougi vemeachance.Iam her e
    todaybecauseIl ovey oubutIneedy out oknow
    youdon’ thavetobewi t
    hmei fy oudon’ tlove
    measmuch. ”
    Abelookedatherandsmil
    ed.Hehadbeen
    star
    ingatEazi’
    sweddi
    ngpict
    urest
    heenti
    reday
    andthatsparkl
    esheusedt
    ohav ef
    orhi
    m was
    nowforherhusband.Shewasgone,hi
    sgi
    rl
    wasgoneandt hewomanhehadseenwearing
    thewhi
    tegownwassomeoneel se.
    “Il
    ovey ou,Ihavebeenthinki
    ngofustheent
    ir
    e
    day.Iwantus, Iam goi
    ngt ot
    ellmyfamil
    y
    abouty ou.Don’tabor
    tthebaby.Iwantt
    ogiv
    e
    usar ealchance.”
    Renei
    l
    wesmi
    l
    edt
    ear
    ful
    l
    y.“
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Myuncl
    esar
    egoi
    ngt
    obesoangr
    y.”
    “
    Why
    ?”
    “
    Ikeepi
    mpr
    egnant
    ingev
    erywomanImeet
    .”
    “
    Topr
    ovey
    ouar
    efer
    ti
    le.
    ”
    Abel aughedt henki ssedherlips,
    sheputher
    handsonhi swai stasheki ssedhergoodt hat
    herclitthrobbedwi thwant.Heuzi ppedthe
    dressf r
    om behi ndandhel pedheroutofi t
    .It
    pooledt oherf eet,heunhookedherbr aand
    tookitof fki
    ssingherneckweakeni ngherwhile
    cuppinghersensi
    ti
    vebreastmassagedthem
    caref
    ullyt
    hatshethrewherheadbackmoaning.
    Hepickedherupandpl acedheronthebed
    droppingki
    ssesfurt
    herdowntil
    lhewas
    betweenherlegs.
    Reneil
    wecl osedhereyesashef east
    edonher
    ti
    ll
    shear chedherbackshaking.Hegotupand
    undressedthenguidedhisdickbetweenher
    fol
    dsbur yi
    nghimselfdeepinsi
    deher.Renei
    lwe
    putherarmsar oundhim ashemadesl owlove
    toher.

    *
    **

    I
    nSt .Luci
    a,acabst
    oppedatJadeMount ai
    n
    Resort,t
    heresor
    tst
    afftookourbagsi
    nsi
    de
    whil
    ewef ol
    l
    owedbehindthem.Il
    ookedatmy
    ti
    me.
    “
    Whati
    sthet
    imez
    oneher
    e?”
    Otengputhi
    shandonmywai
    st.“
    6hour
    s
    behind.
    ”
    I
    nsi
    detheresor
    t,t
    hemanagergr
    eet
    edus
    i
    ntr
    oduci
    nghimself
    .
    “
    Wel
    cometoJadeMountai
    nResor
    t,wehope
    y
    ouhadawonder
    ful
    jour
    ney.
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Superl
    ong!
    ”
    Themanagersmil
    edback.“Well
    ,wehopeto
    helpy
    ourel
    ax.Pl
    easecome…Weupgr aded
    yourr
    oom f
    rom moontosun.”
    Wewalkedbehi
    ndt
    hem t
    il
    lwewer
    einour
    sact
    uar
    y.
    Oneoft hest
    affmemberhandedmeacel l
    phone.“Haveagoodstay.
    Ther
    eisyourphone
    tocall
    mey ourbut
    leranygi
    venti
    meoftheday
    foranyt
    hingyoumayneed.”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Theywal
    kedoutwhi
    l
    eIl
    ookedatt
    hei
    nfi
    nit
    e
    poolt
    hatoverl
    ookedthemount
    ains.It
    urned
    backtoOtengwithasmil
    e.
    “
    It
    sbeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    “
    Iknow.
    ”
    Iy
    awnedsi
    tt
    ingont
    hebed.
    “
    Youwi
    l
    lseei
    tpr
    oper
    lyt
    omor
    row.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ouf
    orbr
    ingi
    ngmeher
    e.Il
    ovei
    t,
    ”
    Hetookoffmyshoesthenhelpedmeundr
    ess.
    Hefi
    ll
    edthetubthatst
    il
    loverl
    ookedt
    hewat
    ers
    t
    henputmei nsi
    dewithhim behi
    ndme.
    “
    Heymama…”
    Ibl
    ushed.“
    Hi.
    ”
    Heki
    ssedmyshoul
    der
    .“Tur
    nar
    ound.
    ”
    It
    urnedst
    radl
    l
    inghi
    mt henki
    ssedhim.Heput
    hi
    shandsonmywai stwhi
    leIposi
    ti
    onedhi
    s
    di
    ckandslowl
    ysat.
    “
    Fuck!
    ”
    Imovedont
    opofhim whi
    l
    ethewat
    erf
    ell
    on
    oursi
    deswi
    thev
    erymove.

    *
    **

    I
    nBot
    swana,
    Thabi
    l
    ewokeupt
    oaphonecal
    l
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi,
    wef
    oundAshl
    ey.
    ”
    Herhear
    tski
    pped.“
    Wher
    eisshe?
    ”
    “WehaveranDNAont heremai
    nsandi
    ts
    confi
    rmed,i
    tsher
    .Youcancomeandcol
    lect
    her.
    ”
    Tear
    sfi
    l
    ledherey
    es.“
    What
    ?”
    “
    Yes,
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Thedet
    ecti
    vehungup,Ri
    char
    dsl
    owl
    ywokeup
    andl
    ookedathi
    swife.
    “
    Ever
    ythi
    ngokbabe?
    ”
    “TheyfoundAshl
    ey,t
    heysai
    dIcancomeand
    coll
    ectherremai
    ns.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    rybabe.
    ”
    At
    earr
    andownhercheek.“
    Iexpect
    edi
    t.
    ”
    “
    Wecangot
    oget
    her
    .”
    “
    Isi
    toki
    fIt
    ell
    Abe.
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    hedeser
    vest
    oknow.
    ”
    Thabi
    l
    etookherphoneandcal
    l
    edhi
    m.“
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Hi
    ,i
    tsThabil
    e.TheyfoundAshl
    eyandsai
    dwe
    cancol
    lectherr
    emains.”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok.Wi
    l
    lyoucome?
    ”
    “
    Yesofcause.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Shehungup,
    Richar
    dki
    ssedhercheek.
    *
    **

    Kanepackedhisbagtocatchhi
    smor
    ningf
    li
    ght
    toMaun.Hisphonerang.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Someoneisdr oppi
    ngoffy ourpaymentf
    ort
    he
    prev
    iousjob,t
    hebosst ri
    pledittoalso
    apol
    ogiseforthejobloss.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Thecal l
    erhungup.Kanewal kedoutofthe
    l
    odgej ustasabl ackcarr ev
    ersedout
    .He
    unlocedhi scarthenlookedatthebag.He
    openedi tandsmi led.Heopenedthebagwi t
    h
    hisclot
    hesandt ransfer
    redhismoneyinsi
    de
    thendrov eofftoNeel o’
    shouse.shehad
    obviouslycalmeddownbynow.
    Awhi
    l
    elat
    erhewasknocki
    ngonherdoor
    .The
    dooropenedandNeel
    o’sbr
    otherl
    ookedathi
    m.
    “
    Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngher
    e?”
    “
    CanIseeher
    ?”
    “
    Shedoesn’
    twantt
    oseey
    ou.
    ”
    “
    CanIseemyki
    dst
    hen?
    ”
    “
    Canyougoaway ?Af
    tertheembar
    rassment
    y
    ouputhert
    hrough,l
    eavebefor
    eIpunchyou.
    ”
    Kanelookedathi
    sbi
    gbodyandsi
    ghed.“
    Ok,
    tel
    l
    hert
    ocallmewhensheisfr
    ee.
    ”
    Hewal kedbacktothecaranddroveaway.At
    theai
    rport,
    hecheckedin,Kel
    lywal
    kedbyt hen
    noti
    cedherhusband.Shelookedathisbar
    e
    fi
    ngersandchuckledshaki
    ngherhead.Kane
    tur
    nedt owalkawaythenthei
    reyesmet.He
    l
    ookedatheri nshockwhil
    eshewalkedoverto
    him.
    “
    Heybabe…”
    “
    Iwantadi
    vor
    cebutnott
    il
    lIsuey
    ourl
    i
    ttl
    e
    mistresses.Iam goi ngtodragy ournamei nthe
    mud, myf athermadey ouandt odayy ouhave
    thegut stocheatonmewi thtwodi f
    ferent
    whorel ookingchimpanzeesandal sohav e
    chil
    drenwi ththem.Iam goi ngtoshowy outhat
    youdon’ tbitethehandt hatfeedsyou.Got oher
    andenj oyitwhi l
    eitsti
    lll
    asts.Ciao!
    ”
    Sheputonhersunglasseswalki
    ngawayinher
    whit
    efl
    areddressandheelswhil
    ehol
    dingher
    Chanel
    handbag.

    *
    **

    Penny’
    sboy
    fri
    endwal
    kedi
    nsi
    deherhouse,
    she
    smil
    ed.
    “
    Heybabe…”
    “
    Iwantust
    ogot
    oout
    .”
    “
    Iam baby
    sit
    ti
    ngf
    ormybr
    other
    .”
    Herboyfri
    endl
    ookedatt
    hekidsi
    nthesit
    ti
    ng
    room.“Thatol
    donecantakecar
    eofthem.I
    t’
    s
    onlyf
    oranhourortwo.
    ”
    “
    Ican’
    tleav
    ethem.
    ”
    “YouknowwhatPenny,Iam t
    ir
    edofbegging
    youeverysi
    ngl
    eti
    meIwantt ospendt
    imewi th
    you.Maybeyoushoul
    djustgoanddateyour
    brot
    her.
    ”
    “
    Babe…”
    “
    Iam goi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Wai
    t,l
    etmechange.
    ”
    Sher
    ushedt
    oherroom t
    enqui
    ckl
    ychanged.
    Shewal
    kedbackt
    othesit
    ti
    ngr
    oom.
    “
    Mal
    c,Iwi
    l
    lbebacki
    nashor
    twhi
    l
    eok?
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Justbehav
    eandwat
    chTV.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Iam l
    ocki
    ngy
    oui
    nsi
    det
    hehouse.I
    t’
    ssaf
    ethat
    way
    .”
    Shet
    ookthekey
    sandlockedt
    hem i
    nthengot
    i
    nherboy
    fri
    end’
    scar
    .

    *
    **
    .
    Hoursl
    ater
    ,Ky
    ral
    ookedatMal
    col
    mtr
    yingt
    o
    hushAl
    anawhowascryi
    ng.
    “Maybesheishungr
    y.Iam al
    sohungr
    y.Cal
    l
    auntPenny
    .”
    “
    Playwi
    thher
    ,Iwi
    l
    lgety
    ouf
    ood.
    ”
    Hewalkedtothekitchenandopenedt hefri
    dge.
    Therewasnothingalreadycooked.Hegrabbed
    thebot
    tleofj
    uiceandcupsandputt hem atthe
    sit
    ti
    ngroom.
    "
    Dri
    nkj
    uice,
    Iwi
    l
    lcooksomet
    hing.
    "
    Malcwentbackt othekitchenwher ehet ook
    outtheeggsandpol ony.Het ookthepanand
    puti
    tont hestovethenswi t
    chedi ton.He
    openedthekichenunitsandt ookoutt hebott
    le
    ofoilandputabitofoilinsi
    del i
    kehismot her
    al
    way sdid.
    Ky
    rawalkedi
    n.“Malc,comeandputt
    heLi
    on
    Ki
    ng.Shewil
    lkepquiet.
    ”
    Hewal kedoutl eavingt hepanont hestov
    eand
    wenttoPenny ’sroom wher ehetookherlaptop.
    Heopenedi tthenpl ay edthemov ieandwalked
    backtot heki
    tchenandbr okethr
    eeegss
    messil
    ydr oppingt heot her.Hegrabbedastool
    andputt heengssi nt hepan.Hef riedt
    hem
    thengrabbedadi shtowel andputthepanon
    thefl
    oor.
    “
    Mal
    c!”
    Hegotupputt
    ingthedi
    sht
    owelonthest
    ovethe
    t
    ookthenpan,pol
    onandbreadt
    othesit
    ti
    ng
    r
    oom.Theyal
    lbeguneat
    ingwat
    chi
    ng.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #107

    Abelookedathi
    sfatherwai
    ti
    ngforhi
    mtosay
    somethi
    ng.Takustoodupthent
    ookouthi
    s
    phoneandcall
    edsomeone.
    “Pleasecometomyhouseassoonasy oucan.
    Abehasi mpregnatedanot
    herwomanandthis
    ti
    mear oundnotjustanywoman.Youneedto
    comeandheart his.Ok.
    ”Hehungupandshook
    hishead.
    “
    Don’
    tyouknowofsomet
    hingcal
    l
    edcondom?
    ”
    Aberubbedhi
    shandst
    oget
    herashi
    sfat
    her
    shout
    ed.
    “Orareyoual
    ler
    gictocondoms?Ifyouare,
    tel
    l
    mer i
    ghtnowsot hatIcanfi
    ndouti
    fther
    eisn’
    t
    anyotherwaytohelpyou.”
    “
    Ipl
    annedt
    hispr
    egnancy
    .”
    “Youalway
    splanthem!Youhaveki
    dsfr
    om
    dif
    fer
    entmother
    s,what’
    swrongwit
    hyou?”
    “
    Ilov
    eher
    .”
    “Thentomor rowy ouwil
    l bebackagai ncryi
    ng
    forEazi!Forhowl ongwillyoudot hi
    s?You
    needt ogrowup.Youar eold,youneedt obein
    aser i
    ousrelationshipatthev eryleastoreven
    marriedatthisst age.Youmessedupwi thEazi
    andy ouneedt oacceptt hatandmov eon.I
    can’tbeli
    evey ou,sot hi
    st i
    mear oundy ou
    upgradedandr atherimpregnant edachief’
    s
    daughter.”
    “
    Ilov
    eRenei
    l
    weandshei
    spr
    egnant
    .Ther
    eis
    nothingthatcanbedonenow, yesi t
    ’s
    disappointingthatIhav emadey etanother
    womanpr egnantbutIcant akecar eofmyki ds.
    Ihav eneveraskedf orhelpf rom any onenei t
    her
    willIst
    artnow.Renei l
    wei sher et ostay,she
    couldhav ebeent hepr esiden’ tdaught erandI
    woul dhav estil
    lchosenher .Pleasecal lme
    whent hef ami l
    yisreadyt ogoandpay
    damages.Iwantt hi
    schi l
    dt ousemysur name
    whenheorshei sbor n.Iwi ll
    gi vey ouenought o
    paybr i
    depr i
    cetoo.”Hest oodupandwal ked
    outwhi l
    ehi sfathersatqui etly.Gi nawalkedin
    asAbedr ov eoff.
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “Yoursonmadeanot
    herwomanpr
    egnantand
    hewant st
    omarr
    yher.
    ”
    Gi
    nasi
    ghed.“
    Iwantt
    omeetherf
    ir
    st.
    ”
    “
    Iam sur
    eyouwi
    l
    l.
    ”
    *
    **

    TashaopenedherdoorthenletPhat
    simoin.He
    handedherabouquetofflowersandki
    ssedher
    .
    “
    Hey
    …”
    Tashasmi
    l
    ed.“
    Comei
    n.Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Hewal kedinandsatinherli
    vi
    ngr oom whil
    e
    sheputt hefl
    ower
    sinav ase.Shewal kedback
    andlookedathim si
    tt
    ingasguiltateherali
    ve.
    “
    What
    ’swr
    ong?
    ”
    Shesi
    ghed.“
    Ihav
    esomet
    hingt
    otel
    lyou.
    ”
    “
    Whati
    sit
    ?”
    “Theni
    ghtwewentout
    ,Iwantedt
    otel
    lyou
    somethi
    ngbuty
    ounevergavemeachance.”
    “
    Whati
    sit
    ?Youcant
    ell
    menow.
    ”
    “Iam HI
    Vpositi
    vebutIhav
    ebeendri
    nki
    ngmy
    pil
    lsandthev
    irusi
    snowundetect
    abl
    e.”
    Phat
    simol
    aughed.“
    What
    ?”
    “
    Ireal
    l
    ytr
    iedt
    ell
    i
    ngy
    ou,
    Idi
    dbuty
    ouwer
    enot
    l
    i
    steni
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    ouser
    iousr
    ightnow.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    Phatsi
    most
    oodupput
    ti
    nghi
    shandsonhi
    s
    head.“
    No…”
    “
    Iam sorry.Iam guil
    tybutIam sur
    eyouare
    f
    ine.Idr
    inkmypi ll
    sont i
    meandIl i
    veaheal
    thy
    l
    i
    fe.”
    “Whydidyoukeepqui
    etwhenwewer
    eoutf
    or
    dinner
    ?”
    “
    Idi
    dn’
    tknowhowt
    otel
    lyou.
    ”
    “Doyougoaroundgi
    vi
    ngyouri
    l
    lnesso
    ever
    yoneyoumeet?It
    oldy
    ouIhavetwoki
    ds.
    ”
    “
    Phat
    simo,
    Iam sor
    ry.Youcangoandt
    est
    .”
    “
    IfIam posi
    ti
    veIam goi
    ngt
    oki
    l
    lyouwi
    thmy
    bar
    ehands,
    trustme.Nowondery
    ouar
    e
    si
    ngle.
    ”
    Hewal kedoutbangi
    ngt hedoorsomuchy ou
    wouldswearitwouldjustfallout.Shecovered
    herfacecryi
    ng.Herphoner angt henshe
    reachedfori
    tandanswer edtryingtohushher
    cri
    es.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Yout
    oldhi
    m?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Idon’tev enunderstandwhyy oudidn’tt
    ellhi
    m
    beforey ousleptwit hhim,fr
    ienditlooksli
    ke
    youwant edtoinfecthim deli
    beratelysothat
    youbot hcanbei nf ected.
    ”
    “
    That
    ’snott
    rue.Idon’
    twanthi
    minf
    ect
    ed.
    ”
    “Ofcausey
    ouwi
    l
    ljustsayany
    thi
    ngt
    osav
    eyour
    ski
    n.”
    “
    Iwoul
    dnev
    eri
    nfectany
    onepur
    posel
    y!
    ”
    “Keepdeny
    ingitbutIknowIam ri
    ght
    .Ij
    ust
    hopepoorthi
    ngisnotinfect
    ed.
    ”
    Tashaangr
    il
    yhungupandblockedthefr
    iend
    del
    eti
    nghernumberandsatst
    il
    lshaki
    ng.

    *
    **

    Atthehospital
    ,Potl
    akoslowl
    ywentont hebed
    andlayfaceupclosinghi
    seyesi
    npai n.The
    doctorwalkedinputti
    ngonhi
    sgloves.
    “
    Ok,
    what
    ’swr
    ong?
    ”
    “Lastni ghtwhenIwantedtopee,Icouldn’
    t.I
    t
    wasl ikemyur et
    hrawasclosed.Isleptso
    pressedandwhenIwokeupi nthemor ni
    ng,I
    sti
    llf
    el tthesamebutitwasswol l
    enandso
    painful.”
    “
    Ok…l
    etmesee.
    ”
    Pot
    lakosl
    owl
    ytookof
    fhi
    spant
    sandt
    hent
    he
    doct
    orlookedatt
    heswoll
    enpeni
    swithafr
    own.
    Hehelditandqui
    cklyl
    eti
    tgowit
    hapoundi
    ng
    hear
    t.I
    twast hef
    ir
    stti
    mecomingacr
    osssuch.
    “
    Sot
    hisi
    saf
    ir
    sthappeni
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Itwasn’
    tpai
    nful
    til
    ltoday
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Thedoctorlookedathi
    sbl
    eedi
    ngpeni
    s.“
    Ok,
    li
    e
    ther
    e,Iam coming.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hewal kedoutandwentt
    ohiscoll
    eagueoff
    ice.
    “Raj
    ,comeandseewhatIam seeing.Thi
    s
    pati
    enthasableedi
    ngpenisbuti
    ntheblood
    ther
    ear eti
    nyworms.
    ”
    Dr
    .Raj
    lookedathi
    m.“
    What
    ?”
    “
    Comeandsee.
    ”
    Bot
    hdoct
    orswentbackt
    owher
    ePot
    lakowas.
    Dr
    .Raj
    smi
    l
    ed.
    “Hi,mynamei sDr
    .Raj
    ,l
    etmeseewhatt
    he
    problem i
    s.”
    Heputonhisgl ovesandtouchedhispeni
    s.He
    frownedandlookedattheotherdoctorwi
    th
    equalsur
    pri
    seandshock.Pot l
    akolookedat
    them.
    “
    Am Igoi
    ngt
    obeok?
    ”
    Dr.Rajl
    ookedathi m.“Wearegoingtoruntests
    andsomescans, letusknowwhatwewear e
    real
    lydeal
    i
    ngwith.Inthemeantimewecangi v
    e
    yousomepainkil
    lerstodealwi
    tht hepai
    n.”
    “Ok.ButIst
    il
    lfeel
    li
    kepeei
    ng.Iam v
    ery
    pressed.
    ”
    Pot
    lako’
    sdoct
    ornodded.“
    Ok,
    wear
    egoi
    ngt
    o
    hav
    et ouseacat
    heter
    .”
    Pot
    lakoqui
    ckl
    ynodded.“
    Ok,
    Iam r
    eal
    l
    y
    pr
    essed.
    ”
    *
    **

    Sadi
    walkedi
    nsi
    deherhousewher
    ehermot
    her
    waswit
    hherson.
    “Yourf
    ri
    endcal
    l
    edme,
    myl
    eghur
    ts,
    Icoul
    dn’
    t
    cometoseeyou.”
    Sadil
    ookedathermot
    her
    ’sswol
    l
    enl
    eg.“
    What
    happened?
    ’
    “
    Ifel
    lwhenIwascl
    eani
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    ewasMaat
    la?
    ”
    “
    Shewasonherphone.
    ”
    “Idon’
    tunderstandwhyy oust aywit
    hherwhen
    shedoesn’tevendoany t
    hingforyou.The
    reasonIhave’tstart
    edrenovatingt
    hathouseis
    becauseIdon’twanthert here.Shekeeps
    burdeni
    ngy ouwi thherki
    ds.Youshoul dbe
    enjoyi
    ngyourlife.Abe’
    smot herisoldert
    han
    youbuty oulook100y ear
    solder
    .Youneedto
    gooutt her
    eandenj oyyourli
    fei
    nsteadof
    alwaystaki
    ngcareofpeopl e’
    ski
    ds.Youneedto
    upgrade,may beyouwillf
    indanoldmanto
    l
    ov e.
    ”
    Sadi’
    smotherl
    aughed.“
    Ilov
    etaki
    ngcar
    eofmy
    grandki
    ds.
    ”
    “Enjoyyourl
    if
    e,got
    ot hesal
    on,getyourhai
    r
    andnailsdone.Gotoaplacefarawayforsome
    freshair
    .Youcan’
    tkeeptaki
    ngcareofMaat l
    a’
    s
    kids,whenwil
    lyoustop?”
    “
    Ihear
    dyou.Howar
    eyouf
    eel
    i
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Neel
    odi
    dsomet
    hingt
    ome.
    ”
    ‘
    They
    oungl
    adywhocal
    l
    edme?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Il
    ostmybabywhenshegother
    e.She
    want
    sKanetohersel
    f.
    ”
    “
    Whatdoy
    oumean?
    ”
    “
    Shewant
    sKanebutshewon’
    tgethi
    m.Not
    whi
    l
    eIam st
    il
    lal
    i
    ve.
    ”
    Shewal
    kedtoherroom whil
    ehermother
    l
    ookedatherworr
    iedl
    y,shedi
    dn’
    tlookl
    ikeshe
    hadj
    ustl
    ostherbaby.
    I
    nherroom,Saditookall
    thepil
    l
    sasav oice
    whi
    speredtohert
    henshet hr
    ewever
    ythingin
    t
    hetoi
    letandfl
    usheditaway.

    *
    **

    Thabil
    esteppedoutofthecarwithRichard
    whileAbeparkednextt
    ot hei
    rcarandal so
    steppedoutwithhi
    sgir
    lfr
    iend.Thabi
    l
    el ooked
    atherastheywalkedover.
    Hebumpedf
    ist
    swi
    thRi
    char
    dthenl
    ookedat
    Thabi
    l
    e.
    “
    Hey
    ..
    ”
    Thabi
    l
    esmi
    l
    ed.“
    Hi.
    ”
    “Babethi
    sisThabi
    l
    e,Thabi
    l
    ethi
    sisRenei
    ,my
    gir
    lf
    ri
    end.
    ”
    Thabi
    l
    esmi
    l
    edatRenei
    .“Hi
    Renei
    .”
    “
    Hi.
    ”
    Ri
    char
    dhuggedhi
    swi
    fe.“
    Iwi
    l
    lwai
    ther
    e.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Reneit
    ookthecarkey
    sfr
    om Abe.“
    Iwi
    l
    lal
    so
    waiti
    nthecar
    .”
    Thabi
    l
    ewalkedinsi
    det
    hepoli
    cest
    ati
    onwi
    th
    Abe.“
    Arey
    ouf i
    nall
    yov
    erEazi
    ?”
    Abel
    ookedatherandsmi
    l
    ed.“
    Iam goi
    ngt
    otr
    y
    movi
    ngon.”
    “Don’
    tjusttry
    ,mov eonandl etwhatyoucan’t
    changebe.IfyouandEazi aremeantt obe,i
    t
    shall
    beandi fnotthenthat’
    sthat.Themoment
    youacceptthingsyoucan’tchange,youwil
    lbe
    abletoactuall
    ymov eon.Renei i
    sbeauti
    ful
    ,she
    l
    ookspr egnanttoo.Focusont hat
    .”
    “
    Whathappenedt
    oyou?
    ”
    Thabil
    elaughed.“
    Mxm, Iam t
    ryi
    ngt
    ohel
    pyou.
    GapegatweEazi ony
    etseDrakehel
    awamma
    Drake.
    ”
    “
    Otl
    aswabaThabi
    l
    e.”
    “
    Sor
    ryaut
    lwa…”
    Thedetecti
    vewatchedt
    hem approach.“Come
    thi
    sway .Wecal
    ledthef
    orensi
    cs.Iam reall
    y
    sorr
    yforyourl
    oss.”
    Thabi
    l
    esi
    ghed.“
    It
    ’st
    imet
    olayhert
    orest
    .”

    *
    **

    Binawalkedoutofherspaandwentt ohercar,
    shelookedatthebigcart
    hatwaspar ked
    cl
    oselytoherswonderi
    ngwhyonear th
    someonewoul dparksoclose.Sheunlocked
    hercarthengotinwit
    hthepassengersseat
    andreversed.Shescr
    atchi
    ngthebi
    gcarand
    stopped.Amanwal kedoverandl
    ookedathi
    s
    carthenatBinawhoangr i
    l
    ygotoutusi
    ngthe
    passengerdooryetagai
    n.
    “
    Ist
    hisy
    ourcar
    ?”
    “
    Can’
    tyouseey
    ouar
    escr
    atchi
    ngmycar
    ?”
    “NoIcan’tseebecauseIam bl i
    nd.What’s
    wrongwi t
    hy ou?Howcany ouparksocloseto
    mycar ,obataket senakaeng?Kanapar ki
    ng
    l
    oty agago?Wher edi dyougetyourl
    icense
    becauseobv i
    ouslythat’
    swheretheyteach
    thesethi
    ngs.Don’tcomewi thyourbackdoor
    dri
    v i
    ngski
    ll
    sher eandt hi
    nkyoucanraiseyour
    voiceatme.”
    “
    Lady
    -“
    “
    Don’
    tcallmeladyandjustmoveyourcar
    ,if
    y
    oudon’tknowhowt oparkdon’
    tdri
    veatall
    .
    ”
    Themansmi
    l
    edwat
    chi
    ngherf
    umi
    ng.
    “Sor
    ry.Youar
    eri
    ght
    .Iwasinahur
    ryIdi
    dn’
    t
    evencheckhowIwaspar
    ked.Iwi
    l
    lfi
    xyourcar
    .”
    Bi
    nal
    ookedathi
    m andsi
    ghed.“
    Ok.
    ”
    Themanj umpedi nhiscarandreversedwi
    thout
    eventouchi
    ngBina’scar,herol
    l
    eddownhi s
    windowstari
    ngather .“
    Iam sorr
    y,letmehave
    yournumbersot hatIcantryworki
    ngouthow
    togetyourcarf
    ixed.”
    Sheopenedherbagandhandedhi
    m her
    busi
    nesscar
    d.
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hewi
    nkedanddr
    oveaway
    .

    *
    **

    AtPenny
    ’shouse,t
    hehousebur
    ntwhil
    et he
    nei
    ghbor
    stri
    edbreaki
    ngopeni
    ngtheburglar
    bar
    .Theycoul
    dheartheki
    dscryi
    ngfr
    om i nsi
    de
    whil
    esmokeescapedthr
    ought hewi ndows.
    Ot
    hershel
    dthei
    rphonesrecordingwhi l
    eothers
    st
    oodtear
    ful
    l
    ywat chi
    ngtheincidentunfol
    ding.
    Abypasserwal
    kedi
    nsidethegatestar
    ingat
    t
    hefi
    rethenst
    oodnexttotheneighbor
    ’swif
    e
    whowascryi
    ng.“Whathappened?”
    “Theki
    dsareinsi
    deandt
    hehousei
    slocked.
    Godpleasei
    nterv
    ene.
    ”
    Aloudbangexplodedf rom insi
    dethehouse
    j
    ustast hefi
    refi
    ghtersarr
    ived.Theneighbor
    ’s
    wifetookoutherphoneandt ri
    edcal
    li
    ngPenny
    againbutherphonewasof f.Shelookedasthe
    fi
    refi
    ghter
    stryt
    obr eakopent hedoor.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe
    #108

    Thefirefi
    ghtersopenedt heburglarbarthen
    brokedownt hedoorasev ery
    onewat ched.The
    fi
    rewassomucht hateveryonewonder edif
    whoev erwasinsidewouldmakei toutali
    ve.
    Justthen,Penny’
    sboy fr
    iendparkedhi scar,
    Penny’sheartski
    ppedasshel ookedather
    houseonf ir
    e.
    “
    OhmyGod!
    ”
    Shesteppedoutandr
    ani
    nsidetr
    yingt
    oget
    i
    nsideherhousebutt
    hef
    ir
    ef i
    ght
    ershel
    dher
    down.
    “
    Theki
    ds!Ther
    ear
    eki
    dsi
    nsi
    de.
    ”
    “
    Mam l
    etusdoourj
    ob.
    ”
    “Thereareki
    dsi
    nsi
    de,
    youdon’
    tunder
    stand.
    Three!”
    “
    Weknowandwewi
    l
    ltr
    yourbestt
    ogett
    hem
    out
    ,letusdoourj
    ob.
    ”
    Theneighbor’
    swif
    ewalkedov erandpul
    l
    edher
    back.“
    Letthem dothei
    rjob,
    weshouldn’
    tbe
    wasti
    ngtime.”
    Tear
    srandownPenny
    ’scheeks.“
    Ther
    ear
    e
    ki
    ds…”
    “Wewouldhavelonggottenthem outbutbot
    h
    thedoorandburgl
    arbarwerelocked.Penny
    howcouldyouleavethekidsalone?
    ”
    “
    IthoughtIwasgoi
    ngt
    ocomebackear
    li
    er.
    ”
    Theneighbo’swi
    feputherhandoverhermout
    h
    cr
    ying.“PEENNY!Modimorethuse!
    ”
    Pennyl
    ookedatt
    hehousecr
    ying.“
    IthoughtI
    wasgoi
    ngtocomebackearl
    i
    er .
    ”
    “Theyareinsi
    de,theywerescr
    eaming.How
    couldyouleavethekidsal
    one.Iknowtheyar
    e
    yourbrot
    her’ski
    dsbuthowcoul dyouleav
    e
    them al
    one?”
    Herboy
    fri
    endwal
    kedov
    er.“
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “
    Theki
    dsar
    einsi
    de.
    ”
    “
    Theywi
    l
    lbef
    ine.
    ”
    Pennyturnedbackt
    othehoi
    useast hef
    ire
    fi
    ghter
    sfaughtthef
    ir
    ethenoneofthem got
    i
    nsidethehousewit
    hawetblanket
    .
    Everyonestoodsti
    l
    linantici
    pati
    on.Pennyt
    ook
    outherphoneandswi tchediton.I
    timmediat
    ely
    star
    tedringi
    ng.Shelookedattheforei
    gn
    numberwi thapoundingheartthenanswer
    ed
    shaking.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hey
    …”
    Shecl
    osedherey
    esasherbr
    otherspoke.
    “Ot
    ti
    e…”
    “
    Didy
    ougethomesaf
    ely
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Eazi
    want
    stospeakt
    otheki
    ds.
    ”
    Sheswal
    l
    owedhar
    d.“
    Arey
    ouwi
    thhert
    her
    e?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Canyougetawayf
    rom t
    her
    e,somet
    hing
    happened.
    ”
    “
    Penny
    …”
    “
    Please.
    ”
    Shewait
    edwhi
    l
    eherhear
    tpoundedmor
    e
    har
    derandf
    ast
    er.“
    Whati
    sit
    ?”
    “
    Thehousei
    sonf
    ir
    e.”
    “
    Who’
    shouse?
    ”
    “
    Myhouse.
    ”
    “
    Fuck!Whathappened?
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tknow.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    oual
    lok?
    ”
    Sheshookherhead.“
    Theki
    dsar
    est
    il
    li
    nsi
    de.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    IwentoutandwhenIcamebackI
    -“
    “
    Youl
    eftt
    hem al
    one?
    ”
    “
    Thapel
    owas-
    “
    “
    Thapel
    o?!
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.Idi
    dn’
    tmeanf
    oral
    lthi
    stohappen.
    ”
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngonr
    ightnow?
    ”
    Shest
    art
    edcr
    ying.“
    Idon’
    tknow,
    Ijustar
    ri
    ved.
    ”
    Thefi
    refi
    ghterwalkedoutwi t
    hKy r
    aandAlana
    j
    ustastheambulancear r
    ived.Sheranov
    erand
    l
    ookedatthem coughing.
    “
    Arey
    ouguy
    sok?
    ”
    Ky
    ralookedather
    .“Mal
    cisi
    nsi
    de.Hei
    snot
    movi
    ng.”
    “
    Penel
    ope,
    what
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    Shehel
    dthephoneonherear.“
    Kyr
    aandAl
    ana
    areout
    ,hewentbackf
    orMalc.”
    “
    Letmespeakt
    oKy
    ra.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Pennyputthephoneonloudspeakerasthey
    putanoxygenmaskaroundAlana.“Kyr
    a,tal
    kto
    daddy.
    ”
    “
    Heypr
    incess,
    what
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “Ther
    ei sf
    ireev
    erywher
    e.Malcwast ry
    ingto
    openthedoorbutitwouldn’
    topen.Hetri
    ed
    pushi
    ngAl anat
    hroughhewindowbutshei stoo
    bigsohe…he…”Tear srandownhercheeks
    thentheyputanoxygenmaskov erher.
    “
    Pri
    ncess…”
    “
    Theyar
    etaki
    ngheri
    nsi
    det
    heambul
    ance.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    eisMal
    c?”
    Shelookedatthethehouse,
    thefi
    ref
    ight
    er
    steppedoutcarr
    yinghi
    sunconsci
    ousbody.
    “Thereheis.Heisout.
    ”
    “
    Isheok?
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tknow,
    hei
    snotmov
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Penny
    ….Pennywhathav
    eyoudone?
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.Iam sosor
    ry.
    ”
    Thecal
    lcut
    ,sherushedovert
    othepar
    amedi
    cs
    whohadrecei
    vedhim.“I
    sheok?”
    “
    Arey
    out
    hemot
    her
    ?”
    “Thei
    raunt
    .Thei
    rparent
    str
    avel
    l
    edout
    ,theki
    ds
    areundermycar
    e.Isheok?”
    “Ri
    ghtnowwecan’
    ttel
    l
    ,wet
    aki
    nghi
    mtot
    he
    hospi
    tal
    .”
    Theambulancesoondr
    oveaway
    ,Pennygoti
    n
    herboy
    fri
    end’
    scar.“
    Fol
    low.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    aret
    heki
    dsok?
    "
    “
    Idon’
    tknowaboutMal
    c,hewasn’
    tmov
    ing.
    ”
    Thapel
    ost ar
    tedt
    hecaranddr
    ov ebehi
    ndt
    he
    ambulance.Awhil
    elat
    er,
    heparked.
    “
    Ihav
    etogo.
    ”
    Pennyl ookedathi
    m.“Mynephewandnieces
    areinsidether
    eall
    becauseofyouandy
    ouhav e
    toleave?”
    “Idi
    dn’
    tforcey
    outol
    eavet
    hem al
    one.Ihav
    eto
    goandattendtomyownmatt
    erstoo.
    ”
    “
    Wow!
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    rybutIhav
    etogo.Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lyou.
    ”
    “
    Don’
    t,
    it’
    sov
    er.
    ”
    Shesteppedoutandr
    ushedi
    nsi
    det
    hehospi
    tal
    whil
    ehedr ov
    eaway.

    *
    **

    Il
    ookedatOtengmaki ngphonecal
    ls,
    somethi
    nginmet ol
    dmesomet hi
    ngwaswr ong.
    Il
    ookedatthebeaut
    ifulwater
    sworriedl
    ythen
    hewalkedover
    .
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?I
    sev
    ery
    thi
    ngok?
    ”
    “
    Somet
    hingbadhappened.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Penny
    ’shousecaughtf
    ir
    e.”
    “
    No…wher
    ear
    ethey
    ?”
    “
    Pennyi
    sfine.Buttheki
    dshavebeent
    akent
    o
    t
    hehospi
    tal.Ev
    eryonegotout
    .”
    “
    Whatar
    etheysay
    ingatt
    hehospi
    tal
    .”
    “
    Pennysayssheiswaitingforthedoct
    orbut
    t
    heydi
    din’
    tgetburnt
    ,justinhal
    edsomesmoke.”
    “
    God…”
    “Theyar
    egoingtobef
    ine.Not
    hingi
    sgoi
    ngt
    o
    happentoanyone.
    ”
    “
    Iam scar
    ed.
    ”
    “Assoonaswehearany
    thi
    ng,
    wewi
    l
    lgoback.I
    promise.
    ”
    Inodded.“
    Mal
    cisast
    hmat
    icl
    i
    keme.
    ”
    “
    Theyar
    erecei
    vi
    nghel
    p.”Heki
    ssedme.
    “Iam scar
    ed.Idon’
    tknowwhatIwoul
    ddoi
    f
    anyt
    inghappenstotheki
    dsOteng…”
    “Nothi
    ngisgoi
    ngtohappent
    othem.Theyar
    e
    goingtobefi
    ne.
    ”
    “
    Cal
    lPenny
    ,Iwantt
    otal
    ktoher
    .”
    Hedial
    edhernumberandgav
    emet
    hephone
    whi
    leitr
    ang.
    “
    Ott
    ie…”
    “
    Penny
    ,it
    ’sme,whatar
    ethedoct
    orssay
    ing?
    Howaretheki
    ds?
    ”
    “
    Iam st
    il
    lwai
    ti
    ngf
    ort
    hem.Iam sosor
    ryEaz
    i.
    ”
    Ibl
    inkedawaymytears.“
    It
    ’sok.I
    tcoul
    dhav
    e
    happenedtoany
    one.”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Wewi
    l
    lkeepcal
    l
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Ihungupt
    henOtenghuggedme.“
    Ever
    ythi
    ngi
    s
    goingt
    obeal
    ri
    ght.
    ”
    Inoddedsi
    l
    ent
    lycr
    ying.

    *
    **

    Ontlamet silookedatt hev i


    deooft hehouse
    burningl i
    steningtothev oicesthatwer etal
    king
    i
    nthev ideo.Shewat chedast hefi
    refightergot
    i
    nsidet hehousebr avelythencameback
    minut eslaterwithtwoki dswr appedina
    bl
    anket .Thet wogi rl
    scoughedwhi leOteng’s
    si
    sterr ushedt owardst hem.Ont l
    amest i
    i
    mmedi atelyrecognizedAl ana.
    “
    Godno…”
    Minutesl
    atert
    hefi
    refi
    ght
    erwasbackagai
    n
    holdi
    ngMalcol
    m.Sheputherhandovermout
    h
    shaki
    ng.Herphonerang.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hey
    ,whatshoul
    dIgety
    ouagai
    n?”
    “Oteng’
    ssi
    ster’
    shousewasonf
    ir
    eandEazi
    ’
    s
    kidswerei
    nside.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “Shejustl
    eftf
    orherhoney
    moonandt
    his
    happens.”
    “
    Aret
    heyok?
    ”
    “
    Iam notsur
    ebutIam goi
    ngt
    her
    e.”
    “
    Ok,l
    etmeseei
    fwecan’
    tgeti
    napl
    anel
    eav
    ing
    f
    orGanor
    onet
    oday
    .”
    “
    Ok,
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    Hehungupt hensher
    ewat
    chedthevideoagai
    n
    get
    ti
    ngmor eandmoreworr
    ied.Mal
    chadbeen
    l
    ookingdead.

    *
    **
    Kanewalkedi
    nsideSadi
    ’
    shousethenl
    ookedat
    herasshewatchedTV.Shet
    urnedandsmil
    ed
    gett
    ingup.
    “
    Heybabe.
    .”
    Kanewalkedoverandhuggedher
    .“Hey
    ,Iam
    sor
    ryaboutwhathappened.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok.Neel
    odi
    dsomet
    hingt
    ome.
    ”
    Hesteppedback.“Shei
    snotl
    ikethat
    .Shewas
    pr
    obablyjustt
    ryi
    ngtohel
    pyou.”
    “
    No,
    shewant
    edmet
    olosemybaby
    .”
    “
    Iam sor
    ryf
    ornott
    ell
    i
    ngy
    ouaboutherormy
    wi
    fe.
    ”
    Sadi
    paused.“
    Soy
    ouar
    ereal
    l
    ymar
    ri
    ed?
    ”
    “Yes,butmywifeandIareonseparati
    on.I
    usuall
    ygotther
    etoseet hekidst
    houghshe
    neverlet
    smeseet hem.IknowIwaswr ongto
    notment i
    onherbutit
    ’sbecauseIknewther
    e
    wasnofut
    urebet
    weenmeandher
    .Il
    ovey
    ou,
    youandNeel
    oboth.
    ”
    Sadilookedathi m si
    l
    ent
    ly.“It
    hinkweshoul
    d
    takeabr eakwhi l
    eItr
    ygetti
    ngthediv
    orce
    processst ar
    ted.ShewantstosuesoIhaveto
    stopthattoo.”
    “
    Youwantust
    obr
    eakup?
    ”
    “
    Tempor
    ari
    l
    y.”
    “
    Iam notstupidKane.Youwanttogobackto
    yourwi
    fe.I
    fy oudi
    dn’twantheranymor
    eyou
    wouldhavelongdivor
    cedherbutyoudi
    dn’
    t.
    ”
    “Whyarey oubei
    ngdif
    fi
    cult
    ?Youwantt obe
    sued?Idon’thav
    emoneyt opaythatwoman.
    Til
    lIam donedeali
    ngwit
    hher,youandIare
    breaki
    ngup.Iwill
    keepsuppor
    ti
    ngmyson. ”
    Hestoodupandwal kedout.Shestoodfeeli
    ng
    used.Tear
    sblur
    redhervi
    siont henshegrabbed
    herphoneandcall
    edthepolice.
    “Dumelang,aboutt
    hepil
    otwhowasarrested
    recent
    lybecausehewastranspor
    ti
    ngdrugs…I
    havesomei nfor
    mationt
    hatmayhelpyou.”

    *
    **

    Atthehospi
    tal,
    Pennywai
    tedsi
    l
    entl
    yprayi
    ngf
    or
    thesaf
    etyoftheki
    ds.Bar
    rywal
    kedover.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Hi.
    ”
    “
    Hear
    dany
    thi
    ngy
    et?
    ”
    “
    No.I
    t’
    sal
    lmyf
    aul
    t.
    ”
    “
    Wewilldealwit
    hthatl
    ater
    ,ri
    ghtnowi
    snott
    he
    t
    imeorplace.
    ”
    Thedoct
    orwal
    kedov
    er,
    theyqui
    ckl
    yst
    oodup.
    “
    What
    ’shappeni
    ngdoct
    or?
    ”
    Thedoct
    orl
    ookedatt
    hem.“
    Whoar
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Iam Bar
    ry,
    Penny
    ’sbr
    other
    .”
    “
    Ok.Thegi
    rl
    sarefi
    nethoughwewantt
    okeep
    t
    hem f
    orobser
    vat
    ion.
    ”
    “
    ThankGod!
    ”
    “
    Yes.Thought
    heysuf
    fer
    edt
    raumabutabov
    e
    t
    hat,
    theyaref
    ine.
    ”
    “
    WhataboutMal
    c?Theboy
    .”
    Thedoct
    rsighedsadlyst
    ari
    ngatt
    hem,
    Penny
    ’s
    hear
    tbegunpounding.
    “
    WhataboutMal
    col
    m?”
    “
    Unf
    ort
    unat
    eyhehadi
    nhal
    edal
    otofsmoke.
    ”
    “
    So?What
    ’shappeni
    ng?
    ”
    “Heiscurrentl
    yincomabutit’
    stemporary
    becausehei sgoingtobefi
    ne,poorthi
    ngwas
    porobabel
    yt r
    yingtosavehi
    ssister
    s.Heisa
    braveyoungman.Thegi rl
    sareawakesoy ou
    cangoandseet hem.”
    “
    Thanky
    ousomuchdoc…”
    “
    Youar
    ewel
    come.
    ”
    Penny
    ’sphoner
    angt
    henshequi
    ckl
    yanswer
    ed.
    “
    Theyar
    eal
    lfi
    ne.
    ”
    Eazi
    breat
    hedoutl
    oudl
    y.“
    ThankGod!
    ”
    “
    Ther
    eisnoneedt
    ocomeback.Bar
    ryi
    sher
    e
    t
    oo.
    ”
    “
    Wewi
    l
    lseet
    omor
    row.WhataboutMal
    c?”
    “
    Thedoctorsai
    dhei
    sgoi
    ngtobefi
    ne.Just
    i
    nhal
    edtoomuchsmokebuthei
    sgoingtobe
    f
    ine.
    “
    ThankGod.Iwassoscar
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ryEazi
    .”
    “
    Youdon’
    thav
    etoapol
    ogi
    se.By
    e.”
    Shehungupt
    henPennysi
    ghed.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #109

    Barr
    ywalkedinsidethegir
    lsr
    oom wi
    thPenny
    andfoundthem withoxygenmasksovert
    hem.
    Pennytear
    ful
    lylookedatthem.
    “
    He’
    snev
    ergoi
    ngt
    otr
    ustmeaf
    tert
    his.
    ”
    Barrysighed.“Youl eftthekidsalonetobewi th
    yourboy f
    riend.Idon’tev enknowhowt hese
    kidsarestillf
    inebecauset heyshouldbein
    seri
    ouscr i
    ticalconditionsrightnow.Evenifthe
    fi
    rewast heki tchenandpar ti
    all
    ythesit
    ti
    ng
    room,t hesmokeonl ywasenought ocause
    mor edamageev eniftheywer einthebedroom.
    Andf orMal c,i
    t’sjustthedoct or’
    sbel
    ievethat
    heisgoi
    ngt obefinebutwecan’tbet
    oosur e.
    Sobetweenrightnowandtomor r
    owany t
    hing
    canhappen.Imaginewhat’
    sgoi
    ngt ohappent o
    yourbr
    other’
    smar ri
    agei
    fanyt
    hinghappenst o
    Malcol
    m? ”
    Sheputherhandov
    erhermout
    hcr
    ying.“
    Imade
    amistake.
    ”
    “
    Ami st
    akethatcancostyoualif
    ePenny.A
    mist
    akethatcanendyourbrot
    her’
    smarr
    iage.A
    mist
    akethatcancreat
    edeepwounds.Andall
    f
    oraman. ”
    Penny’
    sphoner ang,shet
    ooki
    toutand
    answeredcr
    ying.“Hell
    o?”
    “
    Hi,
    it’
    sLi
    na,
    wher
    ear
    etheki
    ds?
    ”
    “
    Int
    hehospi
    tal
    ,Iam wi
    tht
    hem.
    ”
    “
    Howcoul
    dyoul
    eav
    ethem al
    lal
    one?Theyar
    e
    mer
    eki
    ds!
    ”
    “
    Look-
    “
    “Don’
    ttel
    lmetol
    ook,howarey
    ouinthe
    hospi
    tali
    nst
    eadoft
    hepoli
    cest
    ati
    on?
    ”
    “
    Idi
    dn’
    tmeanf
    ort
    hist
    ohappen.
    ”
    “Whatdoy oumeany oudidn’
    tmeanf ori
    tto
    happen?Youl ef
    tthem aloneforareason!
    Anythingcouldhavehappened!Malcolmisonl
    y
    achildtoo,howdoy ouleavethem al
    one?”
    “IknowIshoul
    dnothavelef
    tthem alonebuti
    t
    hashappenedandther
    eisnothingIcando
    now.”
    “
    Iam t
    aki
    ngt
    hoseki
    ds.
    ”
    “
    Mybr ot
    herlef
    tthem i
    nmyhandsandIam not
    l
    ett
    inganyonetaket
    hem.”
    “Hedefini
    tel
    ymadeami stakebyl etti
    ngy ou
    remainwiththem becauselooknow, you
    almostkil
    ledthem.Iam takingthoseki ds,and
    tryf
    ighti
    ngmeandIwi l
    lhavey our otinjail
    .You
    don’
    tknowmeandwhatIam capabl eof,tr
    ust
    me,y oudon’twanttoangermef urther.
    ”
    “
    Comeandt
    ry,
    youdon’
    tscar
    eme.
    ”
    “
    Iam br
    ingi
    ngt
    hepol
    i
    ce.
    ”
    Li
    nahungup,
    Bar
    ryl
    ookedather
    .“Whowasi
    t?”
    “
    Lina.
    ”
    “
    Shewant
    stot
    akeki
    ds?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Giv
    ethem t
    oher
    .”
    “
    Ott
    iel
    eftt
    hem i
    nmyhands.
    ”
    “Lethertakethosekids,youdon’tknowthat
    woman, theycallherdragonl
    adyf orareason.
    Shewi l
    lmakey ourli
    fehorri
    ble.
    ”
    “
    Shei
    sbr
    ingi
    ngt
    hepol
    i
    ce.
    ”
    “
    Giv
    emey
    ourphone,
    Iwi
    l
    ltal
    ktoher
    .”

    *
    **
    Abeplay
    edt hevi
    deoagaingoi
    ngtothepar
    t
    whereMalcwasbeingtakenoutoft
    hehouse.
    Renei
    lwelookedoveral
    sowatchi
    ngthevi
    deo.
    “
    Isheok?
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tknow,
    that
    ’sMal
    col
    m.”
    “
    Ohh…y
    ourex
    ’sson?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Heputhi
    sphonei
    nhi
    spocketandr
    ubbedhi
    s
    f
    aceworr
    iedl
    y.
    “
    Youwantt
    ofi
    ndouti
    fhei
    sok?
    ”
    “No,
    Iwantt
    odetachmy
    sel
    ffr
    om any
    thi
    ngt
    hat
    hastodowi
    thher.
    ”
    Renei
    l
    wesmiledandki
    ssedhi
    m.“Ok,bythe
    waywhat
    ’sgoingt
    ohappentoAshl
    ey?”
    “Thabi
    l
    esay sshewillgetbur
    iedbackather
    homev i
    ll
    age,i
    t’
    sfairbecauseIwasreall
    ynever
    ther
    eforthi
    schil
    d.Ijustwanttoputitbehi
    nd
    meandmov eon.”
    “
    Iunder
    stand.Br
    eakf
    asti
    sready
    ,come…”
    Hestoodupjustashi
    sphoner
    ang.Hel
    ooked
    atSadi
    ’snameandsighed.
    “
    Yeah?
    ”
    “
    Canwet
    alk?
    ”
    “YouandIhavenothi
    ngt
    otalkabout
    .Wehav
    e
    nosontogether
    ,it
    ’si
    nbl
    ackandwhit
    e.”
    “
    Imadeami
    stake.
    ”
    “
    Youwhat
    ?”
    “Imadeami st
    ake.Canwepleasetal
    k.IknowI
    wasunfai
    ronAt si
    leandIwaswrong.Iwantto
    fi
    xmywr ongs.Iwanthi
    mt obondwithhisot
    her
    sibl
    i
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Youmustbei
    nsane.
    ”
    “Iam onl
    yhuman.Imadeami
    stakej
    ustl
    i
    ke
    anyotherhuman.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    enotget
    ti
    ngmyson,
    themomenty
    ou
    signedy
    ourparent
    alr
    ight
    sawaywast he
    momenty oul
    osthimforgood.Iam notgoing
    togivey
    outhatboybecauseyoudeniedhim.”
    “
    Iam hi
    smot
    her
    !”
    “
    Noany
    mor
    e.”
    Abehungup,Renei
    lwepressedherl
    i
    ps
    toget
    her
    .“Doyouthi
    nkthat’
    sagoodidea?One
    dayhewil
    lask.
    ”
    “Iwil
    ltel
    lhi
    myourmot
    herdeni
    edy
    ouand
    signedyouaway
    .”
    “
    Babe…”
    “Therearewomenoutt herewhower e
    i
    mpr egnatedt henguytookar unf oritassoon
    asshet ol
    dshewaspr egnant.Thosemendeny
    thei
    rkidsalltheirl
    if
    eanddoesn’ tev enbuya
    sweetforthatchi l
    dbutassoonast hatchi
    ldis
    grown,theycomeback.Thecour twi l
    lnotdeny
    himthatchild.Samei nthi
    ssituation.Shemi ght
    takeittocourt,sayshewasn’tthinkingclearl
    y
    andshewant stobepar tofherson’sli
    fe.She
    willbegrantedthepermi ssiontoseeherson.
    Andi fshedoesn’twin,Ronal dwil
    lonedayask
    forhismot herandnomat terhowmuchast ep
    mot hercanlovehim, t
    heywi l
    lal
    waysbet hat
    voidinhisheart.IknowitandIgr ewupwi t
    hit.
    Youar eangryrightnow, emot i
    onsarehighand
    Idon’tblamey oubutthinkaboutt hi
    s.Thinkfor
    Ront oo.Comeandeat .
    ”

    *
    **

    Tasha‘shear
    tpoundedasshehel
    dherphone
    toherearl
    ist
    eni
    ngasitrang.
    “
    Whatdoy
    ouwant
    ?”
    “Iam sorr
    ythatIdidn’tt
    ellyou,pleasedon’t
    hangup.Ishouldhav etoldy oufrom theword
    gobutt hi
    ngswer ejustmov i
    ngt oofast.Idon’
    t
    deserveyou,IknowbutIj ustwant edto
    apol
    ogi
    ze.Idi
    dn’
    twantt
    oinfecty
    ou,
    God
    knowst
    hatwasnotmyintenti
    on.
    ”
    “
    Iam noti
    nfect
    ed.
    ”
    Shesi
    ghedwit
    hreli
    ef.“
    ThankGod,Iunder
    stand
    i
    fyouwantnot
    hingtodowithme.”
    “Iwasalsowrong.Thi
    swassomet hingIshould
    havebroughtupatthedi
    nnerorbeforeweev en
    sleptt
    ogether
    .”
    “
    Umm wel
    lby
    e.Ij
    ustwant
    edt
    oapol
    ogi
    ze.
    ”
    “
    Wecanst
    artov
    ernowt
    hat
    ’soutoft
    heway
    .”
    “
    Real
    l
    y?”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    Tashasmi
    l
    ed.“
    Iwoul
    dlov
    ethat
    .”
    “
    Ok,
    arey
    ouhome?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Ok,
    Iwanttot
    akey outochur
    cht
    omor
    row.I
    hopeyoudon’
    tmind.”
    “
    Idon’
    t.
    ”
    “
    Great
    !Iam comi
    ng.
    ”
    Hehungupwhil
    eTashaj
    umpedupanddown
    wi
    thexci
    tement
    .

    *
    **

    AtThami ’
    swedding,Lonasdr oveherBMW
    i
    nsidetheyardandpar kedunderat reethen
    steppedoutwit
    hherson.I nherbeauti
    fuldress
    fi
    shtail
    bodyhuggingdr ess,shewalkedov erto
    Thami ’
    smotherwhowaschat t
    ingwithother
    l
    adies.
    “
    Dumel
    ang…”
    Thami’smot
    hert
    urnedandl
    ookedather
    .
    “Lonas…”
    “
    Ehmma,
    Ibr
    oughty
    ourgr
    andson.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ousomuchforbri
    nginghi
    m,Thami
    wi
    ll
    besohappyt
    oseehim.”
    “
    Ehh,
    Ihav
    etogo.By
    e.”
    Shehuggedhersonthenhandedhis
    grandmotherhi
    sbagandwalkedbacktoher
    carthendroveawaywhi
    leherphonerang.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Soy
    oul
    eftwi
    thoutseei
    ngme?
    ”
    “
    ThamiIdon’thav
    et oseeyou,pleasefocuson
    y
    ourwedding,bytheway,congratul
    ati
    ons.”
    “Iwantust
    ot al
    kaboutmyson’
    sli
    vi
    ng
    arr
    angements.Iwantt
    ost
    aywithhi
    m.”
    “
    That
    ’snotgoingt
    ohappen.Feel
    freet
    otake
    metocourt
    .”
    “Whyarey
    oubeingdi
    ff
    icul
    t?Youhav
    ebeen
    stay
    ingwi
    thhi
    m al
    lal
    ong.”
    “
    Iam notgi
    vi
    ngy oumychi
    ld.Youwil
    lseehim
    j
    ustl
    i
    key ouhav
    ebeendoinginthepastand
    t
    hat
    ’si
    t.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    ebei
    ngdi
    ff
    icul
    tfornor
    eason.
    ”
    “
    Am I
    ?”
    “
    Yes.Icant
    akecar
    eofhi
    m.”
    “AndsocanI.Youaredistur
    bingme, Iam
    dri
    vi
    ng.Iwi
    ll
    beexpectinghimi ntwodays,Iwi
    l
    l
    comeandcollecthi
    mify oudon’tbr
    inghim.
    Bye.
    ”
    Shehungupst
    eppi
    ngont
    heaccel
    erat
    or.

    *
    **

    IsatintheplanebesideOtengandlookedat
    thescreeninfrontofmet hatshowedmehow
    farwewer efrom reachi
    ngNewYor k.Wit
    ha
    sigh,
    Ilookedathim andhel dhi
    shand.
    “
    Theyar
    egoi
    ngt
    obef
    ine.
    ”
    “
    Ther
    eissomet
    hingel
    se.
    ”
    If
    rowned.“
    What
    ?”
    “
    Pennywasn’
    tther
    e.”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Shewasn’
    tther
    e.Shel
    eftt
    heki
    dsal
    one.
    ”
    Myhear
    tski
    pped.“
    What
    ?”
    “Sheleftt
    heki
    dsal
    oneandwentof
    fwi
    thher
    boyfr
    iend.
    ”
    “Youmeant
    heki
    dswer
    eal
    onewhent
    hef
    ir
    e
    star
    ted?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Il
    eanedbackonmyseatshocked.
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngt
    ohappennow?
    ”
    “Idon’
    tknow,
    yoursi
    stercal
    l
    edt
    hepol
    i
    ceon
    her.
    ”
    “
    Lina?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Itookadeepbr eath.“Shedi dn’twantwhat
    happenedt ohav ehappened.Iknowshewas
    wrongbutPennyhasal waysbaby sitt
    edf orus
    andwehav enev erhadapr oblem.Mi st
    akes
    happen,it
    ’sasi gnt hatnoonei sper fect.Iknow
    withhermyki dsar esaf e,whathappenedi s
    unfor
    tunate.Imagi newhatshei sgoi ngt hr
    ough,
    Iam notgoingt ot hrowst oneswhenshei s
    alr
    eadylow, andy ouar enotgoi ngt oshout .We
    aregoingtodeal withthisli
    kegr ownadul t
    s.
    Thiscouldhav ehappenedt oany one.Shei s
    yoursist
    erOt eng,Iknowpeopl ear eridicul
    ing
    her,t
    heissuemustbeal l
    ov ersoci almedi a,we
    aregoingtost andwi t
    hherandt hat ’
    st hat.
    ”
    Helookedatme.“Leavingtheki
    dsal
    onet
    ogo
    andfuckisnotamistake,l
    eeneboyf
    ri
    end
    nyanayatengetl
    i
    legony ela.
    ”
    “Shewaswr
    ong,Iam notdef
    endi
    ngthatbutI
    am sur
    ewhenshelef
    tshedidn’
    tthi
    nkwhat
    happenedcoul dhappen.Shemadeami stake,
    onewhi chhasnev erhappenedbef ore.Shehas
    takencar eoft heseki dsbef ore,hassheev er
    giveny ouar easont ocompl ai
    n?Whaty ou
    shoul dknowi st hatnoonei sper fect.You
    yoursel fyouar enotper f
    ect .Howmanyt i
    mes
    hav eyoupr omi sedmeandt hekidst haty ou
    woul dbet hereandt heny oudon’ tcome?How
    manyt imeshav ewef or gi
    v ent hat?Ifyoucan’ t
    forgivet histhenIdon’ tthinky ouwoul dfor gi
    ve
    mei fImadeami stakei nthef uture.Iam not
    goingt obashPennybecauseIknowhow
    i
    mpor tantshei stome.I fy ouf eelli
    key ouwant
    nothingt odowi t
    hher , don’tassoci ateitwi th
    meormyki ds.Myki dsandIhav eforgiving
    hear t
    sandy oubet terkeept hatat ti
    tudeaway
    from them becauset hati snothowIwantt hem
    togr owupas. ”

    *
    **
    Reneilwelaidont heloungerinherbikiniand
    sunglasseswhi leAbeplayedi nthepool wit
    h
    hiskids.Shehel dherphonet aki
    ngmul t
    ipl
    e
    self
    ies.Abel ookedathiskidsshi ver
    ingthen
    gotoutoft hepool wi
    thbothoft hem inhis
    armsandpl acedthem ont heblankiethat
    Reneilwehadsetf ort
    hem.Hewal kedov erto
    Renei andpickedherup.
    “
    Putt
    hephonedown.
    ”
    “
    Ng?
    ”
    “
    Putthephonedown.I
    t’
    sfami
    lyti
    me,
    your
    f
    oll
    owersonInst
    agr
    am canwait
    .”
    Sheputherphonedownthenhewal kedwit
    h
    heri
    nsi
    dethepool whi
    l
    eshelaughed.Reneil
    we
    l
    ookedathishandsomefaceandkissedhim.
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    Hesmi
    l
    edandswam wi
    thhert
    othecor
    nerof
    thepoolwhil
    etheki
    dsplayedt
    henheshif
    ted
    herpant
    iestothesi
    de.Summerranover
    holdi
    nghisphoneashetookouthi
    sdi
    ck.
    “
    Daddy
    !Phone.
    ”
    Hetookhisphoneandanswer
    edt
    heunsav
    ed
    number.
    “
    Yeah?
    ”
    “Hi
    ,youar espeaki ngtoTseo.Iam wi thmy
    motherher e, LeratoLekoko,shesay sy ear
    sago
    shegavebi rtht oamal echildandt hatchil
    dis
    you.Sheputy ouinsi
    deabi nwher eaf amilyof
    onechil
    dl i
    v edandshewai t
    edt i
    llt
    heyt ookyou
    i
    n.Iam callingonherbehal f,shewant stomeet
    youandexpl ainaf ewt hi
    ngstoy ou.She
    contact
    edy ouradopt iveparentsbuttheyhav e
    beenrefusingt oassisther.
    ”
    .
    .
    .
    Don'
    tfor
    gett
    oli
    keandcomment
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #110

    Abef
    rowned.“
    Ist
    hissomesor
    tofj
    oke?
    ”
    “
    No.Noi
    t’
    snot
    .”
    “
    Lebat
    lagot
    shamekel
    amogonnay
    aanong?
    ”
    “Li
    sten,Iknowthi
    sisupsett
    ing,
    Iam notsur
    eif
    youradoptivepar
    ent
    stoldyouthatyouwere
    adoptedornotbutyourreal
    mot herwant
    sto
    meety ou.”
    “Myrealmotheri
    sathomer i
    ghtnow.She
    mightnothavegi
    venbirthtomebutsheismy
    motherbecauseshepickedmeupf rom t
    hat
    samebiny ourmothert
    hrewmei n,shewashed
    meandl ovedme, sheputclothesonmeand
    rai
    sedmel ikeherown.Shet aughtmet ocall
    hermamabecauseshegav ememot her
    lyl
    ove
    andtrustme, Ineverl
    ackedanythi
    ng.Iam
    whereIam t odaybecauseofher.Stopcall
    i
    ng
    andharassingthatwomanbecausey ouare
    try
    igt
    opi ssmeof f.”
    Hehungupandbl
    ockedthenumberandl
    ooked
    atRenei
    whowassti
    l
    lstari
    ng.
    “
    Whathappened?
    ”
    Hepickedupherl
    egandki
    ssedher
    .“Wewi
    l
    l
    t
    alkabouti
    tlat
    er.
    ”
    Hesl
    owl
    ypushedi
    nsi
    deherpussy
    .

    *
    **

    Lat
    erthatday,
    Linal
    ookedatMalcol
    missighed,
    hedidn’
    tdeser
    vetobelyi
    ngonthatbedandthe
    thoughtofanyt
    hinghappeni
    ngtohim di
    dscar
    e
    her.Herphonerangthenshewalkedout
    answering.
    “
    Heybabe…”
    “
    Hey
    ,Iam home,
    wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    Li
    nasmi
    l
    ed.“
    Youar
    ehome?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Iam att
    hehospi
    tal
    wit
    htheki
    ds.
    ”
    “
    Whatki
    ds?
    ”
    “
    Eazi
    ’
    ski
    ds.
    ”
    “
    Andwher
    eisshe?
    ”
    “
    Shel
    eftf
    orherhoney
    moon.
    ”
    “
    Leav
    ingherki
    dsi
    nhospi
    tal
    ?”
    “No,shelef
    tthem wit
    hherhusband’
    ssist
    erand
    herhusband’ssi
    sterl
    eftt
    hem al
    onethenthe
    housecaughtfir
    esoIam withthem i
    nthe
    hospit
    al.
    ”
    “Can’
    tyoucomehomeandletthesi
    stert
    ake
    careofthem.Tomor
    rowIam goi
    ngtoMaun.”
    “
    Sheissti
    l
    linpol
    i
    cecust
    odyIt
    hink.Ican’
    tleav
    e
    t
    hem al
    one.”
    “Linayoucan’
    ttel
    lmet hosekidshav
    enoone
    elseexpectfr
    om you.Can’ty
    ouputyourf
    ami
    ly
    fi
    rstforonce?”
    “
    Tankanagagonaopekwano,IknowEazi
    woul
    ddothesameifshewer
    einmyshoes.”
    “Youdon’
    thav
    ekidssoy
    ouwouldneverknowi
    f
    Eaziwoul
    ddothesamefory
    ourki
    ds.
    ”
    Li
    napausedthentookadeepbr
    eat
    htr
    yingt
    o
    swal
    l
    owhi swords.
    “
    Idi
    dn’
    tmeani
    tli
    ket
    hat
    .”
    “I
    t’
    sok.Letmefindsomeonewhocancome
    andstaywit
    hthem.”
    “
    Iam bei
    ngunr
    easonabl
    e,st
    ayt
    her
    e.”
    Li
    nanoddedasat
    earr
    andownhercheek,
    she
    qui
    cklywipedi
    toff
    .Tanhungup,shel
    ookedat
    herphonethencal
    l
    edLebotha.
    “
    Aunt
    y…”
    “
    Lel
    e,cany
    ouhel
    pmewi
    thsomet
    hing?
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    any
    thi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngtonight?Ineedsomeonet
    o
    r
    emai
    nwithmysi
    ster
    ’skidsinhospi
    tal
    .”
    “
    Not
    hing,
    youwantmet
    her
    e?”
    “
    Yesl
    ove.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iam onmyway
    .Ar
    etheyok?
    ”
    “
    Fornowy
    es.
    ”
    Shehungupandwalkedbacki
    nsi
    deMal
    col
    m’s
    room wai
    ti
    ngf
    orLebotha.

    *
    **
    Meanwhil
    eLebot
    haputonhersi
    ze34jeans
    thenherf
    li
    pfl
    opsandwal
    kedoutofherhouse
    asherphoner
    ang.
    “
    Arey
    oual
    readydonewi
    thy
    ouri
    nter
    nshi
    p?”
    “
    Yes.Itoldyoutostopcal
    l
    ingme.Idon’
    twant
    t
    odot hisanymore.
    ”
    “Il
    oveyou,IwishIdi
    dn’tandIwi
    shwhat
    happenedneverhappenedbutIl
    ovey
    ou.CanI
    seeyou?”
    “Imov
    edfrom Maunbecauseofyou.Idon’t
    wantt
    odot hi
    sanymore.Youar
    etoool dforme
    gapeyouarecont
    rol
    l
    ingandontopoft hatyou
    aremymother’
    shusband.
    ”
    “
    Linai
    snoty
    ourmot
    her
    .”
    Tear
    sfi
    l
    ledLebot
    ha’sey
    es.“
    Shei
    sli
    keoneand
    Ihav
    ebetr
    ayedher.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyou?Iwantust
    otal
    k.”
    “
    Wehav
    enot
    hingt
    otal
    kabout
    ,st
    ayawayf
    rom
    me.
    ”
    Shehungupandwal kedtothebusstop
    chewingonherbilt
    ong.Acarstoppedinfront
    ofherthenthewindowr ol
    leddown.Theman
    i
    nsidesmiledatherthensheroll
    edhereyes
    annoyed.
    “
    Ibr
    oughtt
    hedi
    vor
    cepaper
    s.”
    “
    Boago,
    cany
    oul
    eav
    emeal
    one.
    ”
    Hesteppedoutofthecarholdi
    ngadocument
    andgaveitt
    oher.Lebothascannedt
    hroughi
    t
    andhandedthedocumentback.
    “
    Iwantnothi
    ngt
    odowi
    thy
    ou, goandf
    ocuson
    y
    ourfamil
    yandl
    eav
    emealone.”
    “Lebot
    haIloveyou,
    IknowIwaswrongnott
    o
    tel
    lyouaboutmywifefr
    om thewor
    dgobutI
    am seri
    ousaboutusbabe.
    ”
    “Idon’tcar
    eifyouar
    eseri
    ousornot
    .Leav
    eme
    alone.Youneverdoany
    thi
    ngforme,youj
    ust
    wantt
    osl
    eepwi
    thme.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    ldoany
    thi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Leav
    emeal
    one.
    ”
    Shest
    eppedbackasherphoner
    ang.“
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Arey
    ouony
    ourway
    ?”
    “
    Yesaunt
    y.”
    “
    Ok.Thanky
    ouagai
    n.”
    Shesmi l
    edandstoppedacombi thengoti
    nat
    thefr
    ont.Thecombidriverl
    ookedather
    beauti
    fulf
    aceandsmi l
    ed.
    “
    Hi…”
    Shel
    ookedathi
    m andsmi
    l
    ed.“
    Hi.
    ”
    “Nehmmakengol
    emont
    leso?(
    Whyar
    eyou
    beaut
    if
    ul?
    )”
    Lebot
    hal
    aughed.“
    Idon’
    tknow.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    ereal
    l
    ybeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    ShelookedatTancall
    i
    ngandsi
    gheddr
    oppi
    ng
    thecal
    l.Hecal
    ledagai
    n.
    “
    Whatwi
    l
    litt
    akef
    ory
    out
    oleav
    emeal
    one?
    ”
    “
    Ijustwantt
    otal
    k,t
    hat
    ’sal
    l
    .”
    “Iam onmywayt
    otheGPHt
    olookaf
    terAunt
    y
    Eazi
    ’skids.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    lmeety
    out
    her
    e.Igoty
    ousomet
    hing.
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    twantany
    thi
    ngf
    rom y
    oumot
    howa
    modi
    mo.”
    “
    Iam comi
    ngt
    her
    e.”
    “
    What
    ever
    .”
    Shehungupleani
    ngbackontheseatand
    repl
    i
    edtoherboyf
    riend’
    smessages.
    Mot
    heo:Igotsel
    ect
    ed!Iam goi
    ngf
    ort
    rai
    ningi
    n
    aweek’
    sti
    me.
    Lebot
    ha:
    That
    ’smybaby
    !
    Mot
    heo:
    CanIseey
    out
    oni
    ght
    ?
    Lebot
    ha:Ngng,
    Iam hel
    pingmyauntt
    oni
    ght
    ,
    kamoso
    Mot
    heo:
    Imi
    ssy
    ou
    Lebot
    ha:
    Met
    oo,
    tomor
    rowIwi
    l
    lbewai
    ti
    ngf
    or
    you
    Mot
    heo:
    Obat
    agont
    swar
    isanopaaker
    e
    Lebot
    ha:
    Kegoemet
    sesent
    lemot
    howame
    Shesmiledchat
    ti
    ngwithhi
    mt i
    l
    lshear
    ri
    ved
    thenshetookoutmoneytopay.
    “
    No,
    don’
    tpay
    ,goshar
    p!”
    Shesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Thankst
    lher
    ra!
    ”
    Shest
    eppedanswer
    ingTan’
    scal
    l
    .
    “
    Iam al
    mostt
    her
    e,wai
    tatt
    hegat
    e.”
    “
    Hurr
    yup,aunt
    yonkemet
    si.(
    Aunt
    yiswai
    ti
    ng
    f
    orme.)
    ”
    Shehungupandwai
    ted.ARangeRov
    er
    stoppedinf rontofherthent hedri
    verstepped
    outtalki
    ngi naf oreignl
    anguage.Shewat ched
    hi
    m asheopenedt hebootthentooksomet hi
    ng
    outandt hrewi tatthebackseat.Heturnedhis
    headandl ockedey eswithherholdi
    nghi s
    phoneont heot herhand.Hehungupand
    walkedov erwi t
    hasmi le.
    “
    Hi…”
    Lebot
    habl
    ushedst
    ari
    ngathi
    m.“
    Hel
    l
    o.”
    “
    Ineedy
    ourhel
    p,Iam ki
    ndofl
    ost
    .”
    Hesmeltsogoodsheclearedhert
    hroat
    wonder
    ingi
    fshelookedpresent
    abl
    e.“Wher
    e
    ar
    eyougoing?”
    “Iam goi
    ngtothi
    spl
    ace.
    ”Hetookouthis
    phoneandshowedher.“
    Can’
    tpronouncei
    tand
    Iam notaboutt
    oembarr
    assmyself.
    ”
    Lebothal
    ookedandsmiledthendi
    rect
    edhimi
    n
    thebestwayshecoul
    dhopingherengli
    sh
    soundedasniceasi
    tdidinherear
    s.
    “
    Ok,thanks.”Hetookouthi
    sphoneandhanded
    i
    ttoher.“Saveyoi
    urnum ersothatIcancal
    l
    y
    ouincaseIgetl ost
    .”
    “
    Ofcause.
    ”
    Shetookt
    hephonet
    hensaedhernumber
    .He
    l
    ookedati
    t.
    “
    Howdoy
    oupr
    onouncey
    ourname?
    ”
    “
    Lebot
    ha.
    ”
    “
    OhhIsee,
    wel
    lIam Cal
    vi
    n.Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lou.
    ”
    Hegotbackinhiscarthedroveoff
    ,mi
    nut
    es
    l
    aterTanparkedinf
    rontofherinhi
    snewcar
    andsteppedout.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Cany oupl
    easesaywhaty
    ouwantt
    osayso
    t
    hatIcango.”
    “Iboughty
    ouacar.
    ”Hehandedherthecarkey
    s
    andmov edfr
    om t
    henewcar.“
    It
    ’syour
    s.”
    Lebot
    hagaspedput
    ti
    ngherhandov
    erher
    mouth.
    “
    Youdeser
    vei
    t.
    ”
    “OhmyGod!”Shehuggedhi
    m.“
    Thanky
    ou!I
    can’
    tbel
    i
    evethi
    s.”
    Shegoti
    nthecarscreaminghappi
    l
    y.Herphone
    rangt
    henshetookitoutget
    ti
    ngoutofthecar
    .
    “
    Aunt
    yiscal
    l
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    ldr
    opi
    tof
    ftomor
    rowaty
    ourhouse.
    ”
    Sheki
    ssedhi
    m andr
    ani
    nsi
    det
    hehospi
    tal
    .

    *
    **

    Pot
    lakogruntedinpain,i
    tfel
    tli
    kenopai nki
    l
    ler
    washelpi
    nghi ssi
    tuat
    ionasthepai nkept
    get
    ti
    ngwor seandwor se.
    .Hepr essedthe
    emergencybuttonagainandmi nutesl
    aterthe
    doct
    orwal
    kedi
    n.
    “Tl
    hemonnant
    huse,
    gobot
    hoko.(
    Hel
    pme,
    it’
    s
    pai
    nful
    l
    .)”
    Thedoctorsatdownstar
    ingathi
    m.“Yourpeni
    s
    hasaninfect
    ionandl
    ikeItol
    dyou,wehaveto
    doaparti
    al-“
    “That
    ’snotgoi
    ngtohappen,t
    hisi
    sapr
    ivate
    hospi
    tal
    ,youaresupposedt
    otell
    memor e
    opti
    ons!
    ”
    “Ifwedon’tdothat
    ,theinfect
    ionwi l
    lgetworse
    andmor ewormswi llcomeout .Thisoperat
    ion
    won’tmeany ouarenol ongergoingtofuncti
    on
    thewayy ouusedto,youwi l
    lsti
    llhavesexbut
    onlywit
    ht heremai
    ningshaf t
    .”
    “
    Someonedi
    dsomet
    hingt
    ome.
    ”
    “Iwi
    ll
    givey
    ousometimetot
    hinkabouti
    t.I
    can’
    tgiv
    eyoumorepai
    nki
    l
    ler
    srightnow,
    y ou
    j
    ustgotadose.
    ”
    Thedoctorwal
    kedout,
    Potl
    akoreachedf
    orhi
    s
    phoneandcall
    edthewit
    chdoct
    orsweati
    ngin
    pai
    n.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Yourt
    hingbackf
    ir
    ed.Whatwassupposedt
    o
    happentomywi f
    ehappenedt
    ome. ”
    “Yourwif
    emusthav eastrongmediathanwhat
    Igaveyouthat’
    swhyitcouldbackf
    ir
    ebutevery
    acti
    onhasit’
    sconsequences.
    ”
    “
    Can’
    tyouhel
    pme?
    ”
    “
    Ican’
    t,
    thecur
    sewi
    l
    lcomet
    ome.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    ouf
    ucki
    ngki
    ddi
    ngme?
    ”
    “
    No,gotochurchorv
    isi
    tanot
    herpower
    ful
    wi
    tchdoct
    or.
    ”
    Thewi t
    chdoctorhungup,tear
    sfil
    l
    edPotl
    ako’
    s
    eyesthenhebr okedowncryi
    ng.Hecoul
    d
    actual
    lyfeelt
    hewor msandthepainwas
    unbearable.
    *
    **

    Kell
    yparkedherrent
    alcari
    nfrontofSadi
    ’s
    housethensteppedoutandwalkedover
    l
    ookingaround.Sheopenedthedoorand
    walkedin.Sadist
    oodupstari
    ngatherin
    confusi
    on.
    “
    Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngi
    nmyhouse?
    ”
    Kel
    lysmi
    led.“Yourhouse?Lovet
    hishousei
    sin
    myhusband’sname.Iam givi
    ngyoutwohours
    tot
    akewhaty ouboughtandgetgoingt
    oget
    her
    wit
    hyourchil
    d.”
    Sadi l
    ookedatthewomanr eali
    zingwhoitwas
    thenfoldedherarms.“MysonandIar enot
    goingany wher
    e.Thishouseisinmyname.
    Everythi
    ngheev erboughtf
    ormei sinmyname
    becauset hi
    sti
    mear oundIsworeIwouldn’
    tbe
    playedbyaman. ”
    “
    Iam suingy
    ouandIam goingtomakesure
    y
    ouwal kawayf
    rom t
    hisaf
    fairwi
    thnot
    hing.
    ”
    “Goaheadandsueme, who’
    sstoppingyou?
    Whatareyouev endoingher
    e?Dn’tyouhave
    bett
    erthi
    ngstodo?Goandsat i
    sfyyour
    husbandbecauseifyoudon’
    tIwill
    doi tf
    or
    you.
    ”
    Kel
    lyrai
    sedherhandandsl
    appedSadi
    .“You
    ar
    ef ul
    lofy
    oursel
    f.
    ”
    Sadi
    movedbackasKel
    l
    ycamef
    orher
    .“Getout
    ofmyhouse!
    ”
    “
    Iam goingtoputy
    oui
    npl
    ace,
    whodoy
    ou
    t
    hinkyouare?”
    Kell
    ygr
    abbedSadi’
    shai
    randsl
    appedhery
    et
    agai
    n.“
    Wantwaela!”
    “I
    fyouthinkIam goingtofi
    ghtwit
    hyou,
    Iam
    notgoi
    ngt odothat,Iam goi
    ngtosendyout
    o
    j
    ailt
    ogetherwit
    hy ourhusband.
    ”
    Kell
    yst
    eppedandkickedSadi’
    sstomach.“My
    fat
    heri
    sanMP, not
    hingwill
    happent omebut
    asfory
    ou,Iam goi
    ngtofixyou.Waitandsee.
    ”
    Shewalkedoutofthehouset
    henopenedher
    carandtookherr
    ingi
    ngphone.
    “
    Fri
    end,
    Iam i
    nthemi
    ddl
    eofsomet
    hing.
    ”
    “
    Whati
    sit
    ?”
    “Kebankanyagi
    rl
    fr
    ent
    eyaKane,
    thi
    sgi
    rli
    sful
    l
    ofhersel
    f.
    ”
    “
    Aft
    ert
    hatsueher
    .”
    “
    Iam goi
    ngtosueher,t
    rustme,Ineedanal
    i
    bi.I
    wantt
    oburnthatugl
    yfaceofhers.
    ”
    “
    Don’
    twor
    ry,
    Iwi
    l
    lbey
    oural
    i
    bi.
    ”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    Shereachedfortheacidatthebackseatthen
    walkedbackinsi
    det hehouseopeningthe
    bottl
    e.Meanwhil
    e,inherkit
    chenSadi puther
    fi
    ngersinsi
    deherear st
    ryi
    ngtogetridofthe
    voi
    cesinherheadbutt heykeptwhisperi
    ngto
    her,
    angeringherevenmor e.Kel
    l
    ywal kedinthe
    ki
    tchenthenSaditurnedtofaceherbutshe
    nowhadt hefaceoft heugl
    ywomanshehat ed
    somuch.
    “
    Stayawayf
    rom me!
    ”
    “
    Iam goi
    ngt
    obur
    nthatugl
    yfaceofy
    our
    s.”
    Angril
    y,Sadigrabbedtheknif
    eandst abbed
    Kell
    yonherchest .Shepickedtheacidbottl
    e
    thenpoureditalloverKel
    ly’
    sfacewhileshe
    screamedbur ningthebegunstumpingtheugly
    facewithhershoeov erandoveragaintil
    lKell
    y
    wassilent.
    .
    Li
    keIsaidbefir
    e, Ifyoudon'
    tcommentasy ou
    shoul
    d,wewi l
    ljusthav eoneinsertperday.I
    am ti
    redofbeggi ngpeople,
    ifyoudont
    commentont hisi nser
    tthenforgetourevening
    i
    nsertandjusttreatthi
    sbonusi nsertasone.
    Forthosewhowhohav esentmeWhatsApp
    messagest oday
    ,pl
    easeki
    ndlyr
    esendt
    hem.
    Thanky ou
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #111

    Sadisteppedbackbr eathingheav i
    lyrealizi
    ng
    whatshehadj ustdone.Tear sfil
    ledherey esas
    shelookedatKelly
    ’sunr ecogni zablef ace.Her
    heartstar
    tedpounding,shest eppedback
    unsureofwhatt odot henr eachedf orher
    phoneandcal l
    edAbe.Hi sphoner angf ora
    whil
    ebef orehefi
    nall
    yanswer ed.
    “
    Hi,
    youar
    espeaki
    ngt
    oRenei
    l
    we.
    ”
    Sadi
    paused.“
    Renei
    l
    we?
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    Abe’
    sgi
    rl
    fr
    iend,
    howcanIhel
    pyou?
    ”
    “
    Iwantt
    ospeakt
    oAbe.
    ”
    “
    Heisnother
    eatt
    hemoment
    ,Icanpassont
    he
    message.
    ”
    “I
    t’
    saboutourson,
    Iknowhei
    sther
    e,gi
    vehi
    m
    hi
    sphone.”
    “
    Hei
    snother
    e,Iwi
    l
    lpassont
    hemessage.
    ”
    “Iam notgoingt
    odiscussanyt
    hingwi
    thy
    ou,I
    don’
    tev enknowyou.Sincewhendidy
    oustar
    t
    seei
    ngAbe? ”
    “
    Iam t
    ryi
    ngt
    ohel
    pyouher
    e.”
    “Whoaskedfory
    ourhelp,
    heelammannela
    rr
    agwengwanakefounu.(
    Givemybabydaddy
    hi
    sphone.)
    ”
    “Hedoesn’twantt otalktoyou.Hedespi ses
    you,Iam t
    ryingt ohel
    py oubutitseemsl ikehe
    wasr i
    ghtall
    al ongabouty ourat
    tit
    ude.Idon’t
    knowwher ey ouaregoi ngtogetwiththat
    att
    it
    udebutt rustme, i
    t’
    snotf ar
    .”
    “
    Youspeaksoconf
    ident
    ly,
    youcananswerhi
    s
    phoneallyoulike,knowhisev er
    ymov e,be
    beneathhim everynightwhilehefucksy ou
    endl
    esslybuthewi l
    lneverful
    lyl
    ov eyou.He
    l
    ovesEazi,shewi l
    l f
    oreverbethere,i
    nv i
    nci
    ble
    butsti
    l
    l t
    here.”
    “
    Goodni
    ght
    .”
    Thewomanhungup, Sadit
    ookadeepbreath
    thentookadeepbreathanddi
    aledt
    hepolice
    try
    ingtogetherst
    oryri
    ghtwhil
    eKel
    lyl
    aidthere
    unconsci
    ous.

    *
    **

    Li
    nawal kedinsi
    deherhouseandsear chedfor
    herhusbandbuthewasn’ tt
    here.She
    i
    mmedi atleyst
    art
    edcookingjustasacardrove
    i
    n.Secondsl at
    erTanwalkedin.Sheturnedand
    l
    ookedathi m wit
    hasmile.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    Tansmiledthenwalkedoverandkissedher
    .“I
    am sor
    ry,Idi
    dn’tmeanitl
    i
    ket hat
    .”
    “
    Iunder
    stand.
    ”
    “Idon’
    tthi
    nkyoushoul
    dbeher
    e,y
    oursi
    ster
    ’s
    kidsneedyou.
    ”
    “
    Lebot
    hai
    sther
    e.”
    “Lebothaisonlyaki dbabe,shecan’tlookafter
    thosekids,whatifsomet hi
    nghappenst hat
    needy outhere?Iam beingunr easonabl
    et o
    expecty out
    obeher ewheny ouar efaci
    ngan
    emer gency.
    ”Heki ssedher.“Tomor r
    owIwi ll
    sti
    llbeherewi t
    hyou.Ilovethaty ouareacar i
    ng
    aunt.”
    Li
    nasmi
    l
    ed.“
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    “
    Come,
    Iwil
    ldri
    veyoutothehospi
    tal
    thenpi
    ck
    y
    ouuptomor
    row,hopef
    ull
    yEaziwoul
    dbehere.
    ”
    “
    Shei
    sonherwayback.Tomor
    rowshewi
    l
    lbe
    her
    e.”
    “Iwi
    llgety
    ousomet
    hingt
    oeat
    ,swi
    tchof
    fthe
    stov
    e.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Sheswitchedof ft
    hest oveandwalkedoutwit
    h
    him smi
    ling.Awhi l
    elaterhepar
    kedinfrontof
    thehospitalthenwalkedinsi
    dewit
    hhert o
    whereLebot hawasbusyonherphone.She
    l
    ookedup.
    “
    Aunt
    y…”
    “
    Hey
    ,Iam back.
    ”
    “IthoughtIwasgoi
    ngt
    obeher
    ethewhol
    e
    night.
    ”
    “No.Yougoandreadorsomething.Iwil
    lsorti
    t
    outhere.
    ”Li
    nahuggedherti
    ghtl
    y.“Thankyou
    somuchsweety.IknowIcanalway scounton
    you.
    ”
    Lebot
    hasmi
    l
    edt
    henst
    eppedback.“
    Letmego
    bef
    oret
    hecombi
    ’
    sst
    oppat
    rol
    l
    ing.
    ”
    Tanl ookedathiswife.“
    Babe,Iwil
    ldropheroff
    .
    It
    ’slateri
    ghtnow.Wi ththenumberofmissing
    casesgoi ngup,Idon’tt
    hinksheshouldwonder
    aroundal one.
    ”
    Li
    nanodded.“
    Yes,
    getal
    i
    ftLel
    e.”
    “
    OkAunt
    y.”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Lebothawalkedoutwit
    hTanclosel
    ybehi
    ndher.
    Linaputherfooddownandtookoutherphone
    thendial
    edanumber .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Hi
    ,ist
    hecarsti
    llt
    here?Iwanti
    treadyf
    ormy
    daught
    er’
    sbi
    rthday.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sst
    il
    lther
    e.”
    “Ok,Iwantt
    ochangethecol
    ori
    nthei
    nsi
    deand
    outsi
    detowhatsheli
    kesmore.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    wheni
    sherbi
    rt
    hday
    ?”
    “
    Int
    woweeks.
    ”
    “
    O,wecanwor
    koni
    t.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Shehungandstartedeat
    ingst
    ari
    ngatt
    hegi
    rl
    s
    peacef
    ull
    ysl
    eeping.

    *
    **

    TanandLebot
    hagotinhi
    scart
    henhedr
    ove
    awaywhi
    leshesmil
    ed.
    “
    Ifaunt
    yev
    erf
    indsout
    ,shei
    sgoi
    ngt
    oki
    l
    lme.
    ”
    “
    Nothi
    ngisgoingtohappen.Shei
    ssl
    eepi
    ngat
    t
    hehospit
    altoni
    ght.Iwi
    l
    ltr
    ytocomeupwitha
    waytodealwit
    hthi
    s.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Sheputherf
    eetont
    hedashboar
    dadj
    ust
    ingher
    seatwhi
    lel
    ist
    eni
    ngt oherf
    avor
    itesong.Tan
    l
    ookedatherandsmi l
    edal
    onedriv
    ingwithone
    handwhil
    etheotherhandwasonhert hi
    gh
    mov i
    ngupanddown.BackatLina’
    shousethen
    walkedi
    nsi
    deherbedroom.
    Shel ookedathi m knowi ngaf t
    ert hecarhe
    probabl ywant edt of uck.Lebothaundr essed
    remai ningwi t
    hhert hongandherbr aonly
    pray i
    ngt hataftershegott hecari nhernames,
    shewoul dbeabl etobr eakitofff orgood.Tan
    wal kedov erandki ssedhersl idinghi shand
    i
    nsi deherpant i
    est hent ouchedhersmoot hl
    y
    shav edpussy .Lebot haunz i
    ppedhi spant sand
    touchedhi shar ddick.Knowi nghi m, hewas
    probabl ygoingt oleav eamar kandsheknew
    aftert hi
    sshehadt odoal lsortsoft ri
    cksfor
    Mot heo.Hewentdownonhi skneespul li
    ng
    downherpant iesandl ookedatt hatpussy
    befor ehel ayheront hebedt akingof fhist-shi
    rt
    ,
    hisdi ckjerkedi nhispant sashel ookedatt hat
    pussythenhet ookoffhi
    spantsandopened
    herlegswiderstroki
    nghi
    sdick.
    “
    Condom!
    ”
    Hereachedforthecondom androl
    l
    editonhis
    har
    dsteeldi
    ckandr ammedi nsi
    deherj
    uicy
    sweetpussy
    .Lebothamoanedsof t
    lyi
    nhisear
    ashebegunt hr
    usti
    ngintohergr
    unti
    ng.

    *
    **

    Pennywalkedinsi
    deBar r
    y’shousef
    rom t
    he
    pol
    icestat
    ionandsatdownexhausted.Sheput
    herhandsonherf aceandbrokedowncryi
    ng.
    Barr
    ysadlylookedatherasshewhipped.
    “Idi
    dn’
    tmeanf orwhathappenedtohave
    happened.IswearIwouldneverwantt
    ohur
    t
    thoseki
    dsonpur pose.
    ”
    Bar
    rycr
    ouchedbef
    oreherandhuggedher
    .“I
    know.
    ”
    “
    Ifany
    thi
    nghappenst
    oanyoft
    hem,
    Iwoul
    dki
    l
    l
    mysel
    f.
    ”
    “
    Don’
    tbenegat
    ive.
    ”
    “
    Ishoul
    dhav
    enev
    erl
    eftt
    hem al
    one.
    ”
    “
    Don’
    tbeatyour
    sel
    fuptoomuch,
    youwon’
    tgo
    t
    ojai
    l
    .Iwil
    lmakesureofi
    t.
    ”
    “Iam sacred.Ididn’
    tEazitheenti
    retruth,
    she
    mightcalmr ightnowbutIknowshewon’ tbe
    whenshef i
    ndsoutt hathersonislyi
    ngont he
    hospi
    talbed, connectedtomachinesf i
    ghti
    ng
    forhi
    slifeallbecauseIlefthi
    m alone.”
    “Thi
    sissuei
    ssensi
    ti
    vebuthopef
    ull
    ytheki
    ds
    areokandnottoomuchdamageisdone.Iwi
    ll
    betheonetotal
    ktoOtt
    ie.
    ”
    “
    Hepr
    obabl
    yhat
    esme.Idon’
    tbl
    amehi
    m.”
    “
    Hemi
    ghtbeangr
    ybuthel
    ovesy
    ou.
    ”
    Het
    il
    tedherf
    ace.“
    Don’
    tbet
    oonegat
    ive.
    Ev
    ery
    thi
    nghappensf
    orar
    eason.That
    ’sl
    i
    fe.
    ”
    Tearsrandownhercheekst
    oherl
    i
    ps.Hewi
    ped
    them offwi
    thhi
    sthumb.
    “Thatguyi
    snotgoodf
    ory
    ouandy
    oushoul
    d
    breakupwit
    hhim.”
    “
    Ial
    readydi
    d.”
    “Good.Arealmanwoul dhavenev erl
    ety ou
    l
    eav etheki
    dsallal
    one.Thatovertheretell
    sy ou
    enoughabouthisapproachtokids.Hewoul d
    probablyl
    eavehi
    sownki dstogohav ef un.Is
    thattheki
    ndofmany ouwantiny ourlif
    e? ”
    “
    No.
    ”
    “
    Good.
    ”
    Hel
    ookedatherf
    acewit
    hapoundingheart
    t
    henst
    eppedback.“
    Takeashowerandsleep.
    ”
    Pennynoddedthenst
    oodupandwal kedt
    othe
    guestr
    oom whil
    eBarryputhi
    shandsonhis
    facewhi
    speri
    ngtohimself
    .
    “
    Bar
    ryst
    opi
    t!
    ”
    *
    **

    Thepol
    i
    cet
    ookSadi
    ’
    sst
    atement
    .
    “
    Soshewant
    edt
    oat
    tacky
    ou?
    ”
    “Yes,shecamet omyhouseandsai dshewas
    goingt of i
    xmef orsleepingwi thherhusband
    thoughIdi dn’ tevenknowt hatherhusbandwas
    mar ri
    edort hathehadanot hergi r
    lf
    riendi n
    Gabor one.Shebeatmeandki ckedmet henshe
    wentoutt ohercaraf t
    ertell
    ingmenoonecoul d
    doany thingt oherbecauseshei stheMP’ s
    daught er.Ithoughtshewasl eavingbutshe
    camebackwi ththebottl
    eofaci d.Shesai dshe
    wasgoi ngtobur nmyf ace,Igr abbedt hekni f
    e
    toscar eherbutshespi ll
    edonmyl eg.”Sadi
    pickedupt hedr essandshowedt hepol ice.
    “Shewant sgoi ngtostop.Ist abbedher
    becauseIwassacr edthenshef ell
    spilli
    ngt he
    aci
    donhersel
    f.Iki
    ckedherf
    acebecauseshe
    waspul
    l
    ingmyl eg.That
    ’sal
    l
    .”
    Oneoft hepoliceof
    fi
    cer
    swal
    kedin.“Theaci
    dis
    hers.Herphoneshowsmessagesofhergett
    ing
    theacidtogetherwi
    thsomemessagesbetween
    herfri
    ends.”
    Sadilookedatt
    hem cryi
    ngsil
    ent
    lyt
    hent
    he
    otherpoli
    ceoff
    icerl
    ookedather
    .
    “Ok,y
    ouaregoingtohavetocomewit
    husso
    wecangoov erthi
    sagai
    nonelastt
    imebef
    ore
    wedropyouoffatthehospi
    talf
    ormedi
    cal
    att
    enti
    on.
    ”
    “
    Ok.I
    sshegoi
    ngt
    obeok?
    ”
    “Hopef
    ull
    yyesbecausei
    fnot
    ,it
    ’samur
    der
    case.
    ..
    ”

    *
    **
    AtGPH, Ont
    lametsiwal
    kedinsi
    dewher eLi
    na
    wasbusyonherl apt
    op.Shelookedatthegi
    rl
    s
    thenbackatLinawhowasnowl ooki
    ngather
    .
    “
    Hi…”
    “
    Ont
    lamet
    si.
    ”
    “
    Howar
    ethey
    ?”
    “
    OkIguess.
    ”
    “
    Howl
    onghav
    eyoubeenher
    e?”
    “
    Thewhol
    eday
    .”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    ltakei
    tfr
    om her
    e,y
    oucangoandr
    est
    .”
    “
    Arey
    ousur
    e?”
    “Iwouldneverhurtmysister
    schildr
    en.You
    mightbebloodsistersbutIgrewupwi thEazi
    andshehasal waysbeenmysi st
    er.Wewi l
    l
    forev
    erbesister
    sev enifshedoesn’tconsi
    der
    measone. ”
    Li
    nast
    oodup.“
    Ok,
    youcanhav
    eyourt
    urn.
    ”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Li
    nawalkedoutwi
    thherthi
    ngsthenOnt
    lametsi
    walkedoutt
    owhereMalcwaslooki
    ngatthe
    ti
    me.Shesatdownst
    aringathi
    m.

    *
    **

    Outsi
    de,Linatri
    edTan’
    snumberbuti
    trang
    unanswered.Shecall
    edacabthenwait
    ed
    pati
    ent
    ly.Awhi l
    elat
    ershegoti
    nthecab
    answeri
    ngher eri
    ngi
    ngphone.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Hey
    ,it
    ’sLonas.Ther
    eissomet
    hingIwantt
    o
    askyou.”
    “
    Ok?
    ”
    “Thamigotmarr
    iedandhewant
    stotakemy
    sontostaywi
    thhim.Legal
    l
    ycanhedothat
    ?”
    “
    No,
    most
    lyno.Unl
    essy
    oul
    ethi
    m.”
    “
    No,
    Idon’
    tthi
    nkhi
    swi
    fel
    ovesmyson.
    ”
    “
    Peopl
    edi
    ff
    er.
    ”
    “
    Iknowandthat’
    swhyIdon’
    twanthi
    mtost
    ay
    wi
    thhi
    mf ul
    lti
    me.”
    “Whi
    chi
    sreasonabl
    e.Justdon’
    tdenyhi
    m hi
    s
    son.
    ”
    “
    Iwon’
    t.Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Linasighed.“BythewayLonas…Iforgi
    veyou
    forthehurtyouputmet hr
    ough.Ihavebeen
    meaningt otell
    youthi
    sforawhilenow.I
    forgi
    vey ou.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Shehungupasthecandr
    iverpar
    edi
    nfr
    ontof
    hergat
    e.Shest
    eppedout
    .
    “
    Thanky
    ou,
    wai
    ther
    eandl
    etmecol
    l
    ecty
    our
    money
    .OrcanIj
    ustdoanewal
    l
    et?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Li
    naquickl
    ydidanewalletthensmi l
    edwalki
    ng
    i
    nsideheryar
    d.Ithadbeenawhi lesinceshe
    hadbeenfuckedandshey earneditsomuch.

    Meanwhi l
    einsi
    det hehouse,Lebot
    hapl acedher
    handsont hemirrori
    nthebat hr
    oom wi t
    hTan
    star
    ingatherfuckingherhardfrom behind.He
    tookoffthecondom andslidbackinf ucki
    ng
    herharder.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe
    #112

    Tangav eLebothaonel astthr


    ustfil
    li
    ngthat
    pussyupwhi l
    eshespasmed.Hepaused
    l
    isteni
    ngtoLina’svoicedownst ai
    rs.Hequickl
    y
    sli
    doutandr ushedoutoft hebathroom and
    l
    ockedt hebedroom doorasLi na’
    sv oi
    cegot
    l
    ouderandl ouder.Lebothawalkedout .
    “
    Whathappenedt
    othecondom?
    ”
    “
    ShhhLi
    nai
    sher
    e.”
    Lebotha’
    sheartskippedasTanpi ckedher
    clot
    hesthatwereal l
    ov ert
    hefl
    oorandhanded
    them tohert
    henpushedheri nsi
    det he
    wardrobeandclosedt hedoor
    .Linatri
    ed
    openingthedoorthenknocked.
    “
    Tan!
    ”
    “
    Iam i
    ntheshower
    ,Iam comi
    ng!
    ”
    “
    Ok!
    ”
    Her ushedt othebathr
    oom andopenedt he
    wat er.Leavingi
    trunning,hequi
    ckl
    yf i
    xedthe
    bedr oom andsprayedabi tofhi
    sperfumeinthe
    air.Hewentundert heshowerwashi ngoff
    Lebot ha’
    sscentthenwal kedoutwrappi
    nga
    towel aroundhiswaistandopenedt hedoor.He
    wentdownt hestair
    stowher easongwas
    playing.Shelookedathim andswallowedhard
    staringathiswetbody .
    “
    Hey
    ,whathappened?
    ”
    “Ontl
    amet
    sicameandt
    ookov
    er,
    Eazi
    ’
    sot
    her
    sist
    er.
    ”
    “
    Oh,
    youshoul
    dhav
    ecal
    l
    edme.
    ”
    “Ididbutyouwerenotanswer i
    ng.”Shewalked
    overandst oodonhert oeski
    ssinghim wit
    hher
    handsonhi swetchest.Tanunzi ppedherdress
    andl eti
    tpooltoherfeetexposingherbody, he
    pickedherupandl ayheront hecouch.Het ook
    offherl
    acepant iesandbr athenkissedher
    goingdownt i
    llhewasbet weenherl egs.Lina
    putherlegonhi sshouldermoani ng.Hert oes
    beguncurli
    ngashermoansgotl ouder ,hegot
    upandt ookofft hetowel thenstr
    okedhi sdick
    andsanki nherpussysl owlywhiletheykissed.
    Hegav eheracoupl eoft hrust
    sthensl i
    dout
    andpulledherupmaki nghert ouchedt he
    couchwhi l
    ehest oodbehi ndher.Linatooka
    deepbreathknowi nghewasaboutt ofuckher
    hardandgood.

    *
    **

    Lebothatookadeepbreathinwardrobefanni
    ng
    hersefwit
    hherhand,shecouldn’
    thearanythi
    ng
    thoughsheknewhewasn’ ti
    nt her
    oom.She
    tri
    edopeningthewardr
    obedoorbuti tseemed
    l
    ockedf r
    om theout
    side.Sheslowl
    ysatdown
    onsomebagsthatwer
    eonthef
    loorandcl
    osed
    herey
    essweat
    ingwhil
    ehi
    scum l
    eaked.

    *
    **

    Thefollowingmor ning,Otengheldmyhandas
    wewal kedoutofSi rSeretseKhama’ sairport.
    Heopenedt hedoorf orme, Igotinandputon
    myseat bel
    t .Hethrewourbagsi ntheboott hen
    j
    umpedi nanddrov eoff.Iputonmyseat belt
    thentookmyphoneandswi tchediton.Idialed
    Linaandhel dthephoneagai nstmyear.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hey
    ,Iam back.
    ”
    “
    Oh,
    thankGod!
    ”
    “
    IheardaboutPennyandy
    ousendi
    nghert
    o
    j
    ail
    .”
    “
    Idi
    nd’
    tsendhert
    ojai
    l
    ,thepol
    i
    cej
    ustdi
    dthei
    r
    j
    ob.Thatgi
    rlshoul
    dhav
    enev
    erl
    eftt
    heki
    ds
    al
    one.
    ”
    “
    Theyar
    efi
    near
    en’
    tthey
    ?”
    “
    Ist
    hatwhatshet
    oldy
    ou?
    ”
    “
    Ist
    her
    esomet
    hingwr
    ong?
    ”
    “Thegirl
    ssl
    epti nt hehospi t
    al l
    astnightand
    theyhadoxygenmasksov erthem, Mal cisin
    coma.Idon’tknow, may bet ohertheki dsare
    fi
    nebutt omet hatdoesn’ tseem f i
    ne.Any thi
    ng
    canhappen,shewassocar eless,howdoy ou
    l
    eav etheki
    dsal onef oraman?Theysai dthe
    fi
    restart
    edintheki t
    chen, obviousl
    yt heywere
    try
    ingtocookorsomet hingandMal colm
    suffer
    edthemost .Thisisnotj ustsomet hing
    wecanconsi derami stake.”
    “
    Lina,
    whatar
    eyousay
    ing?
    ”
    “
    Obviousl
    yshedidn’
    ttel
    lyout
    hatpar
    tbecause
    i
    fyouknewy ouwouldn’
    tbesocal
    m.”
    It
    ookadeepbr
    eat
    hthenhungup.“
    Dri
    vef
    ast
    er
    Oteng.
    ”
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “Yoursist
    erforgott
    oment i
    onmykidsweresti
    ll
    i
    nobser vat
    ionandthattheyhav
    ebeen
    breat
    hingthroughoxygenmasks,shef
    orgott
    o
    tel
    lmet hatMalcisincoma.”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    ldeal
    wit
    hit
    .”
    “
    Idon’
    tcar
    e,t
    akememyt
    omychi
    l
    dren.
    ”
    Awhi l
    elater,
    OtengparkedatGHP,webot h
    steppedoutandwal kedinsi
    de.Hespokebrief
    ly
    attherecepti
    onthenhet ookmyhandandl ed
    met pwher eMalclayunconsci
    ousconnected
    tomachines.MykneesweakenedasIwal ked
    over.
    “
    Godno…”
    Iheldhi
    shandstar
    ingathi
    m.It
    urnedbackt
    o
    Otengwthtear
    srunni
    ngdownmycheeks.
    “
    Oteng…”
    “
    Letmel
    ookf
    ort
    hedoct
    orandget
    -“
    Thedooropenedthent
    hedoctorwal
    kedin
    smil
    ing.“
    Ibel
    iev
    eIam star
    ingatMal
    col
    m’s
    par
    ents.”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Great
    .Iam Dr
    .Mot
    hibi
    .”
    “
    Oteng,
    thi
    sismywi
    fe,
    Eazi
    .”
    “Ok, uhhheunf ort
    unat elyinhal edmor esmoke
    thant heot hert woandt hat’
    swhyhei sher e
    today ,Iknowt hisisst ressful consideringthe
    factt hathecanhav er espitator ypr
    obl emsbutI
    believehewi llpullthrough.Imanagedt ot
    alkto
    thegi rl
    sj ustnowandIam t rulysurpr i
    sed,the
    olderonesay shewasmaki ngt hem breathe
    throughawett owel witht heirnoseswhi chIam
    suspect i
    ngit’sinformat i
    ont heywer etaughtin
    school butstil
    l foranel eveny earoldorso, it
    ’s
    toomuchi nformat iont hattheyhar dl y
    r
    ememberbuthedi d.Youhaveastarri
    ght
    t
    here,butofcausebecausetheyar
    eal lt
    oddl
    ers
    t
    heywon’ tdoitri
    ghtsohewashelpingthat
    ’s
    whyhedi dn’
    treal
    lygetawaywit
    hasl aponthe
    wri
    sts.
    ”
    InoddedthenOtengl
    ookedatMal
    c.“
    Theydon’
    t
    haveburnwounds?”
    “No,theydon’t
    .Hewill
    befine,Iam doi
    ng
    every
    thinginmypowert oensurehewalksout
    ofthi
    spl aceheal
    thasever
    .”
    Feel
    i
    ngdi
    zzy
    ,Isl
    owl
    ysatdown.
    “
    Ithi
    nkIwi
    l
    lkeept
    hegi
    rl
    sher
    eforawhi
    l
    e
    l
    onger.
    ”
    Il
    ookedather
    .“Canweseet
    hem.
    ”
    “
    Ofcause.
    ”
    Otenghel
    pedmeup,Imi
    ssedastepthenhe
    puthi
    shandoverov
    ermywaistst
    eadyi
    ngme.
    “
    Arey
    ouok?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Justt
    ir
    ed,
    muscl
    efat
    igue.
    ”
    Wefol
    l
    owedaf
    tert
    hedoct
    ort
    owher
    ethegi
    rl
    s
    wer
    e.
    “Mama!”Kyr
    ascreamedgetti
    ngdownthebed
    andrunni
    ngover
    .Ipickedherupl
    aughi
    ng.
    “
    Heybaby
    …”
    “
    Thehousewasonf
    ir
    e!”
    “
    Iknowsweet
    y,Iknow.Howar
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Iam f
    ine.Wher
    eisMal
    c?”
    “
    Sti
    l
    lsl
    eepi
    ng.
    ”
    Alanagotdownthebedt henOtengpickedher
    up.Shestr
    etchedscr
    eami ngforme.Iwalkedto
    thebedandsatdownt henhegav ehertome.
    “
    Heysweet
    y…”
    “
    Mama,
    Imi
    ssedy
    ou.
    ”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Imi
    ssedy
    ouguy
    stoo.
    ”
    Ot
    engl
    ookedatusf
    oldi
    nghi
    sar
    ms.“
    Ineed
    anot
    herson.
    ”
    Ilookedathi mlaughing.“I
    t’sbecausey ouar e
    barelyther
    eOt eng.Iam alway stherewitht hem
    whileyoutravel f
    rom onepl acet oanother.You
    can’thaveapr operconv er
    sat i
    onswi ththeki ds
    withouthav i
    ngt oanswery ourphoneandr un
    offtowher everyouwi l
    lbecal ledto.May bei f
    youchangedt hatthekidswoul druntoy ou.”I
    shruggedthent runedmyat tentionbackt omy
    girl
    s.
    “Malcol
    m madeusputawett
    owel
    ont
    he
    nose.”
    “
    Ohhni
    ce!I
    t’
    sni
    cehav
    ingabi
    gbr
    other
    .”
    ItouchedAlana’shai
    randki
    ssedherf
    orehead
    thenkissedKyra.
    “Daddyandmommyar
    eback,
    youar
    egoi
    ngt
    o
    befine.
    ”
    “
    Aunt
    yPennyl
    eftusal
    one.
    ”
    “
    Itwi
    l
    lnev
    erhappenagai
    n.”
    Iwhisper
    edt othegi
    rlst
    hentheyl
    aughedand
    sli
    ddownt hebed.Theywentovert
    ot hei
    r
    fat
    herwhopi ckedbothoft
    hem upjustas
    Ontlamet
    si walkedi
    n.Shesmil
    ed.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    Otenglookedathert
    hent ur
    nedbackhi
    s
    at
    tenti
    onbacktohisgir
    ls.Iwal
    kedoutwit
    h
    Ontl
    amet si
    .
    “
    Hey…thanky
    ousomuchf
    orst
    ayi
    ngwi
    th
    t
    hem.”
    “
    Linahadbeenher
    ethewhol
    eday
    .”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “Iknowyouwoulddot
    hesamef
    orme.What
    ’s
    goingtohappent
    oPenny
    ?”
    “Idon’
    tknow,Idon’
    tthi
    nkIwantt
    oseeherright
    nownotwhenmysoni sly
    ingont
    hehospit
    al
    bed.Ihadfor
    giveni
    tbutmysonisfi
    ght
    ingfor
    hi
    sli
    fe.Nextt
    imeIwi
    l
    lknowbet
    tert
    hant
    o
    l
    eavemykids.”
    “
    Youar
    epr
    egnant
    ?”
    Il
    ookedatherandsi
    ghed.Shesmi
    l
    ed.
    “
    What
    ’swr
    ong?
    ”
    “IfeelIhav
    ewayt oomanykids,soonOtengwill
    startcheat
    ingbecauset
    her
    ear ealotofkids.
    ”
    “Fouri
    snothi
    ng.Somepeoplehavef
    iveand
    eit
    herway,
    Mal cneedscompany.
    ”
    “
    Aii
    iIdon’
    tknow.
    ”
    “
    Heneedscompany
    .Iam get
    ti
    ngmar
    ri
    ed.
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Real
    l
    y?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Towho?
    ”
    “
    Akany
    ang.
    ”
    “
    Ithoughty
    oubr
    okeup.
    ”
    “Wedid,
    foracoupl
    eofmont
    hst
    henhecame
    back.
    ”
    “
    Iam happyf
    ory
    ou.Youdeser
    vei
    t.
    ”
    “
    Thanks.Ok,
    Iam goi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ouf
    ordr
    ivi
    ngal
    lthewayf
    ormyki
    ds.
    ”
    “
    That
    ’swhatsi
    ster
    sdo.By
    e!”
    Shewal
    kedaway,
    Iwentbacki
    nt her
    oom
    wher
    eOtengwaslaughi
    ngwi
    ththeki
    ds.

    *
    **

    Li
    nacleanedherbedroom thenfr
    ownedpicki
    ng
    aphonefrom t
    hefloorjustasTanwalkedi
    n.
    “
    Let
    ’sgo.
    ”
    “
    Who’
    sphonei
    sthi
    s?”
    Shepressedthepowerbutt
    onandlookedat
    Lebot
    ha’spict
    ure.“
    Ist
    hisLebot
    ha’
    sphone?”
    “
    Ohy es!shef
    orgoti
    tint
    hecaryest
    erdayandI
    f
    igur
    edwewoul dret
    urni
    ttoday
    .”
    “Ohh,sheisprobabl
    yworri
    ed.Mydaught
    er
    bathong.Sheisalwaysonthi
    sphone,
    Ibetshe
    i
    ssi ckri
    ghtnow.”
    Theyl
    aughed.“Shewil
    lbefi
    ne.May
    bewewi
    l
    l
    passbyfr
    om thehospi
    talt
    oseeher.
    ”
    “
    No,
    let
    ’sdr
    opi
    tof
    ffi
    rst
    .Shemi
    ghtj
    ustdi
    e.”
    Li
    naputonhershoest
    henwal
    kedoutwi
    thTan.

    *
    **

    I
    nMaun, Kell
    yslowl
    yopenedhereyesina
    hospi
    tal
    ,herfr
    iendl
    ookedathersadl
    y.
    “
    Hey
    …yourpar
    ent
    sar
    eont
    hei
    rway
    .”
    “Shet
    riedtoki
    l
    lme.Shei
    sgoi
    ngt
    oroti
    njai
    l
    .
    Shestabbedme.”
    “
    Itwasn’
    tadeepwound.
    ”
    Kell
    yslowlytouchedherf
    acef
    eel
    i
    ngt
    he
    bandages.“Myf ace…”
    “Iam sorryfri
    end.I
    tseemedl i
    keshei
    stheone
    whodi dthebur ni
    ng.Thepoli
    ceknow
    ever
    ything.Theyev enhadthemanwhosold
    youtheaci dconfessandtheyknowyouwent
    ther
    et oattack.
    ”
    “
    Shewassl
    eepi
    ngwi
    thmyhusband.
    ”
    “Well,
    yousti
    llat
    tackedhersoshedefened
    hersel
    f.Don’
    tfor
    gety ouoncespil
    l
    edRosewith
    aci
    dandt heyhavethatinrecor
    dstoo,nowit
    seemsl i
    keyourstyl
    e."
    “
    Sincewhendi
    dyoubecomeal
    awy
    er?
    ”
    “Iam t
    ryi
    ngtohel
    pyou.Thist
    imear
    ound,
    no
    oneisgoingt
    osaveyou.”
    “
    Giv
    emeami
    rr
    or.
    ”
    Thef
    ri
    endr
    eachedf
    ort
    hemi
    rr
    orandhandedi
    t
    t
    oher
    .Kel
    l
    yfr
    ozest
    ari
    ngatherbandagedf
    ace.
    “Yourwholef
    acewssspoil
    ed.Youwi
    llnev
    erbe
    thesameagainunl
    essyoudoaplast
    ic
    surger
    y.”

    *
    **

    BackatLi na’shouse, t
    hehel perwal kedi nt
    he
    bedr oom tocol l
    ectherboss’ sdirtyclothesand
    packherwar drobe.Shet riedopeni ngt he
    war drobebuti tseemedl ocked.Shel ooked
    aroundt henpi ckedt hekey supf r
    om undert he
    bedandunl ocked.Anunconsci ousnakedbody
    fell
    .Shescr eamedj umpingbackt henl ookedat
    thegi rl
    whi l
    eal i
    ttl
    epeewetherpant i
    es.She
    slowl ywalkedov erandki ckedherbutshe
    remai nedstil
    l.Unsur eofwhatt odo, she
    pressedt heemer gencybut tonthencal ledher
    boss.
    “
    Tsi
    tsi
    …”
    “Madam, t
    her
    eisadeadbodyi
    nyourhouse,
    naked!Shoul
    dIcal
    lthepol
    i
    ce?
    ”
    “
    Tsi
    tsi
    whatar
    eyousay
    ing?
    ”
    “Shewasinthewardr
    obe!Ical
    ledt
    hesecuri
    ty.
    Shoul
    dItel
    lthem t
    ogoaway .Shei
    sdead.”
    “
    Cal
    lthepol
    i
    ceIam comi
    ng.
    ”
    Tsi
    tsi
    qui
    ckl
    ycal
    l
    edt
    hepol
    i
    ceshaki
    ng.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #113

    Tsi
    tsi
    wat
    chedast
    heambul
    ancedr
    oveaway
    wi
    tht
    henakedy oungwoman,Acabparkedby
    t
    hegatethenLi
    nasteppedoutandr
    ushedover
    t
    oTsit
    si.
    “
    Whathappened?
    ”
    “
    Awomanwasinthewardr
    obenakedbutwhen
    t
    heambul
    ancet
    ookhershewasnowawake.”
    Oneoft
    hepol
    iceof
    fi
    cer
    ’swal
    kedov
    er.“
    Youar
    e
    t
    heowneroft
    hehouse?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Whowast
    hatwoman?
    ”
    “Wear est
    il
    ltry
    ingt
    of i
    ndoutandal
    sogety
    our
    stat
    ementonhowsheendedupi nyour
    wardrobethathasyourcl
    othes.
    ”
    “Ial
    sodon’
    tknowwhat ’
    sgoingon.Islepti
    nmy
    housebutnevernot
    icedany
    thing.Iwanttosee
    thewoman,issheok?”
    “Youshouldcomewithus.Youcan’ttellusyou
    don’tknowwhat’
    shappeningyetyousl epti
    n
    thi
    shouset hepr
    evi
    ousnight.Somethingisnot
    r
    ight
    .Thi
    swomanhasbeent
    ransf
    err
    edt
    o
    Mari
    na.
    ”
    “Somethingisdefinit
    elynotri
    ghtandIal
    so
    wanttoknowwhathappenedbecauseIdi dn’
    t
    seeanythinglastnight.Iwanttoseet
    his
    woman’sf ace.”
    Oneofthepoli
    ceoffi
    cerswalkedoverwit
    ha
    camerathenshowedher .Li
    na’
    sheartski
    pped
    asshelookedatLebotha’sf
    ace.
    “
    Thi
    sismydaught
    er!
    ”
    “
    Yourbl
    ooddaught
    er?
    ”
    “
    No…shei snotmydaught
    erl
    egal
    l
    y.Ij
    ust
    …
    whathappenedt
    oher?”
    “That
    ’swhatwear
    est
    il
    ltr
    yingt
    of i
    ndout
    .How
    didshegeti
    nyour
    war
    drobenaked?”
    Li
    nawalkedinsi
    deherhouseandcameback
    hol
    dinghercarkey
    s.
    “
    Mam-
    “
    “Iwi
    llcomet
    othepol
    i
    cest
    ati
    on.Ihav
    etosee
    her.
    ”
    Shejumpedi nthecaranddr ov
    eof fwitha
    poundinghear tunabletothi
    nk.AtPrincess
    Marina,Linaparkedhercarandr ushedinside
    thehospi t
    al.Minut
    esl at
    ershewaswal king
    i
    nsidethewar dwhereLebothawas, nowi na
    hospit
    al gown.Shel ookedatLinaandbr oke
    downcr ying.
    “
    Whathappened?Whatwer
    eyoudoi
    ngi
    nmy
    war
    drobenaked?
    ”
    “
    Her
    apedme!Her
    apedme!
    ”
    “
    Who?
    ”
    “Uncl
    eTan.Hesai dhewantedtoshowme
    somet hingandthenhetookmet othebedroom
    wherehel ockedthedoorandforcedhi
    mselfon
    me.Itr i
    edscreamingwheny oucamebutheput
    apill
    owov erme.Iwokeupinthewardrobe.
    ”
    Li
    nast
    eppedbackshaki
    ngherhead.“
    Tan
    woul
    dnev
    erdot
    hat
    .”
    “
    Hef
    orcedhi
    msel
    fonme.Her
    apedme.
    ”
    “
    Lebot
    ha!Tanwoul
    dnev
    erdot
    hat
    .”
    Lebot
    haputherhandoverhermouthcry
    ing
    l
    oudly
    .Tear
    sfil
    ledLi
    na’
    sey esassheshookher
    head.
    “
    Hewoul
    dnev
    erdot
    hat
    !”
    Lebothacri
    edlouder.Li
    na’
    sphonerangf
    rom
    herpocketasthenurseswalkedi
    ntoatt
    endto
    Lebotha.Li
    nasteppedoutanswer
    ing.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Babe,
    wher
    ear
    eyounow?
    ”
    “
    Lebot
    hawasf
    oundi
    nmywar
    drobe,
    naked.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “Youheardme!Shewasnakedinmywardrobe,
    seemslikeshespentt
    heni
    ghtther
    eaf
    tery
    ou
    rapedherandsmother
    edher.
    ”
    “
    Whatar
    eyout
    alki
    ngabout
    ?”
    “
    Your apedherafterever
    ythi
    ngshewent
    t
    hrough?Ican’tbeli
    eveyou.”
    “
    Idi
    dn’
    trapeher
    ”
    “Thenwhatwasshedoinginmywardr
    obe.Her
    phone…whatwereyoudoingwi
    thherphonei
    f
    shefor
    gotiti
    nthecar
    ?”
    “
    Babe,
    Icanexpl
    ain.
    ”
    Tear
    srol
    l
    eddownLi
    na’
    scheeks.“
    Howcoul
    d
    you!
    ”
    “
    Shei
    sly
    ing.
    ”
    “Youaregoingt
    ojai
    landIam goi
    ngt
    omake
    sureofit
    !”
    Shehungupandwal kedbackinthewardwher
    e
    Lebothawascryi
    nghyster
    ical
    l
    y.Thedoctor
    walkedinandgaveherasedati
    vewhichcal
    med
    herdown.Heturnedtome.
    “
    Hi,
    arey
    ouherguar
    dian?
    ”
    “Yesandal
    soherl
    awy
    er.Iwantaf
    ull
    repor
    ton
    her.
    ”

    *
    **

    Tanputhishandsonhi
    sfacewi
    thapoundi
    ng
    hear
    tthencall
    edhi
    sbrot
    her.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Ifuckedup!
    ”
    “
    Whatdi
    dyoudo?
    ”
    “
    Ihav
    ebeensl
    eepi
    ngwi
    tht
    hisgi
    rl
    .”
    “
    Youar
    echeat
    ing?
    ”
    “
    Ididn’
    tmeanf ori
    ttohappenbutt
    hisgi
    rlwas
    i
    ndir
    ectl
    yseducingme.Shewouldwearshort
    t
    hingswheneverIwasaround.
    ”
    “
    Who’
    sthi
    sgi
    rl
    ?Amai
    d?”
    “
    No,
    Lebot
    ha.
    ”
    “
    Yourwi
    fe’
    swhat
    ?Daught
    erl
    i
    ke.
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    ouf
    ucki
    ngki
    ddi
    ngme?
    ”
    “No,Ididn’tmeant obutIf ellweakandt hought
    i
    twoul dbeaonceof fbutittur nedint
    o
    somet hi
    ngel se.LastnightIsl eptwithherat
    homeandhadt olockheri nthewar drobewhen
    Linacameunexpect edly.Iwasgoi ngtolether
    outbutt hemai dfoundherf i
    rstandal ert
    edLina.
    Lebothai snowsay ingIr apedher .”
    “Youweresleepingwi
    thsomeoneyourwi
    fe
    uncondi
    ti
    onall
    yloves?Itcoul
    dhav
    ebeen
    anyonenother!”
    “
    IknowandIf
    uckedup.
    ”
    “Howcouldy
    ou?Doy
    our
    eal
    i
    zewhat
    ’sgoi
    ngt
    o
    happen?
    ”
    “
    Ineedhel
    p.”
    “
    Ther
    eisnot
    hingIcando,
    ifshecr
    iesr
    ape,
    they
    aregoi
    ngt odoarapetestandobvi
    ouslyyou
    sl
    eptwithher.I
    t’
    sgoi
    ngt oworki
    nherf av
    or,t
    he
    l
    awf av
    orswomansoexpectt heworst.The
    casewil
    ldragandattheendyouwillbe
    sent
    enced.Shehasenoughproofand
    evi
    dence.”
    “Iam goingtol
    osemywi
    fe,
    Iam goi
    ngt
    olose
    ever
    ything.
    ”
    “Andal
    lforsex.Whydoy ougetmarr
    iedi
    fyou
    knowyouarenev ergoi
    ngtobesati
    sfi
    ed?
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    emywi
    fe.
    ”
    “Youdon’t,i
    fy oulovedhery ouwouldrespect
    herenought onotsl eepwithsomeonesocl ose
    ther.Youneedt ot ellhert
    heenti
    retrut
    h,Idon’
    t
    knowi fshewi l
    lbeli
    evey oubutevenifshedoes,
    chancesaret hatthisLebothagir
    lwon’tdrop
    thecase.”
    “
    Iam st
    ressed.
    ”
    “
    Tal
    ktoy
    ourwi
    febef
    orei
    t’
    stool
    ate.
    ”
    *
    **

    Laterthatday,
    BinasatinfrontofherTV
    wonder i
    ngwhichshowt owat ch.Ithadbeena
    whilesinceshehadactuall
    ywat chedTVt hough
    watchingaloneboredher.Shewentt hrougha
    coupleofchannelsthenfi
    nallysettl
    edfora
    mov i
    et hatwasjustst
    art
    ing.Herphoner ang,
    sheanswer ed.
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sKopo.
    ”
    “
    Whatdoy
    ouwant
    ?”
    “
    Ineedsomemoney
    .Jessi
    cai
    snotf
    eel
    i
    ng
    wel
    l.
    ”
    “Heel
    a!Youar enotent
    il
    tl
    edt omymoney!Just
    becauseIdecidedtohel
    py ourdi
    sabl
    ed
    daughterdoesn’
    tmeany ougettodemand
    moneyf
    rom me.
    ”
    Kopot
    ookadeepbreat
    h.“
    CanIpleasehav
    e
    somemoney
    ,Jesi
    caisnotfeel
    i
    ngwell.
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    thav
    emoney
    .”
    “Binaplease,IknowIwr ongedy oubutthisis
    Moemedi ’
    sdaught er
    .Shedeser vessomet hi
    ng
    from herfather’
    smoney .Ican’taff
    ordagood
    l
    awy ert
    ohel pmebutJessi caisMoemedi ’
    s
    child.Shedeser v
    esthatmoney .Thatmoney
    youar erefusingtogIveherisherfather
    ’s.The
    moneyy outookwhenherf at
    herpassedon. ”
    “Idon’
    towey ouanyt
    hing!Youhadanaf f
    airwi
    th
    myhusbandandt odayyouar el
    i
    vingthe
    consequences.Hei
    snother ewit
    hy ouandIam.
    Iam notgivi
    ngyouanymoneybecauseIdon’ t
    havemoney .
    ”
    “
    Jessi
    cai
    snotf
    eel
    i
    ngwel
    l
    .”
    “Howisthatmyfault
    ?Takehimt ot
    hepubl
    ic
    hospi
    tal
    ,theywi
    l
    ltreatherandshewil
    lbef
    ine.
    Theywil
    lgivehersomepil
    ls,
    ther
    eisnothing
    speci
    alaboutJessi
    ca,
    takehertothehospit
    al.
    ”
    Binahungupandclosedherey
    essighi
    ng.Her
    phonerang,
    sheansweredannoyed.
    “Kopo,stopcall
    ingme, Iam soongoingto
    blockyou.Iam sickandt i
    redofyoubeggIng
    andalway scr
    y i
    ng.Youneedwor khar
    dfory our
    daughternotjustsi
    taroundwor kingf
    or
    someonewhodoesn’ tpayy ou!
    ”
    “
    Hi…”
    Adeepmal
    evoi
    cemadeherpause.“
    Who’
    s
    t
    his?
    ”
    “
    Iwantt
    ofi
    xyourcar
    .”
    “
    Oh.I
    t’
    sthemanwhdoesn’
    tknowhowt
    opar
    k.”
    Hel aughed.“Guil
    tyascharged.Ispoketoa
    garagewhocanf ixi
    t.Hesaidy oucanbri
    ngit
    toni
    ght ,
    leti
    tsleepoverthenyoucollecti
    t
    tomor r
    ow, r
    eadyforuse.Iwillhandl
    eall
    char
    ges.
    ”
    “
    Toni
    ght
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    what
    ’sy
    ournameagai
    n?”
    “
    Youwil
    lfi
    ndoutwheny
    oucome.Iam sendi
    ng
    t
    hedi
    rect
    ions.
    ”
    Hehungup.

    *
    **

    Atthehospital,Ot
    engwalkedi
    nhol
    dingmy
    milkshakethenhandedittomepul
    l
    ingmeup
    fr
    om t heseat.Hesatdownandpul
    ledmeon
    hi
    sl apthenkissedme.
    “
    Heymama…”
    Il
    ookedathi
    m andsmi
    l
    ed.
    ”Hey
    …”
    “
    Doy
    ouknowhowmuchIl
    ovey
    ou?
    ”
    Ishookmyheadst ari
    ngathi m.Heki ssedmy
    cheek.“Il
    ovey ousomuchIwoul ddoany t
    hing
    tomakesur ey ouarehappy .Iunder st
    andy ou
    arenothappywi thaf ewthingst hatare
    happeningandIam gl ady ouhav ecomeout
    andsaidit.Idoadmi ttothefactt hatIam not
    alwaysthereforyouorourki dsandIpr omise
    tochangeandputmyf amilyfir
    st.Ijustwish
    youwoul dtel
    lmei mmedi atelywheny ouare
    nothappywi thsomet hi
    ng.Idon’twanty outo
    keepitinthenlaterdi
    srespectme, Godknows
    whatmi ghtmighthappenaf t
    erthat.Iwanty ou
    tobeopenandt ellmehowy ouf eelsoIcorrect
    my sel
    f.
    ”
    Inodded.“
    Iunder
    stand.
    ”
    “Good.From t
    odaymovingforwardweare
    goingtobett
    erupourcommuni cati
    onsski
    l
    ls.
    Wedon’ tbot
    tl
    efeel
    i
    ngsr at
    herwecomeouti n
    theopenandsayit.
    ”
    “
    Okdaddy
    …”
    Hechuckl
    edthenki
    ssedme.“
    Gohomewi
    tht
    he
    gi
    rl
    s.Iwil
    lst
    aybehi
    nd.”
    “
    But
    -“
    “Iwi
    l
    lst
    aybehi
    nd.Tr
    ustme.Iwi
    l
    llookaf
    ter
    him.
    ”
    Isi
    ghedget
    ti
    ngup.“
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    Il
    ookedathi
    m andsmi
    l
    ed.“
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.By
    e.”
    Hewav
    edasIwal
    kedout
    .

    *
    **

    Meanwhil
    einther
    oom, Ot
    engt
    ookoutt
    he
    bur
    nerphoneanddial
    edanumber
    .
    “
    Yeah?
    ”
    “
    Theyar
    eunt
    oyou.
    ”
    “
    Iknow,
    Ihav
    ecl
    ear
    edt
    hingsup.
    ”
    “Youneedt
    obecar
    eful
    orel
    sey
    ouar
    egoi
    ng
    down.”
    “
    Yeahsur
    e.”
    Otenghungupknowi ngtherewasonl
    yoneway
    todealwit
    ht hepr
    obl
    em, eli
    minat
    ingi
    t.He
    call
    edanothernumber.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Didy
    ougethi
    m?”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    “Keephim,Iwil
    lconeandsortitoutt
    omorrow.I
    am goingtomakey etanot
    herexamplet
    hrough
    him andshowyouwhathappenswheny ou
    thi
    nky oucancrossme.”
    “
    Youaretr
    adingont
    hini
    ce.Youhav
    eaf
    ami
    l
    y
    t
    othi
    nkfor.
    ”
    “
    Keepoutmyfamil
    yfrom yourmouth,
    never
    ment
    ionmyfamil
    y.Keepthatbast
    ardther
    e,I
    wi
    l
    lsor
    titoutwhenIgett
    her
    e.”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #114

    Tanwalkedinsidehishouseandl ookedatLi
    na
    whowasst ari
    ngintonothing.Hisheart
    poundedashel ookedathert r
    yingtofi
    gureout
    howtostarthisexplanat
    ion.
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    Sheslowl
    ytur
    nedandlookedathim.“Sor
    ry
    aboutwhat
    ?Aboutrapi
    ngLebotha?”
    “
    No.Idi
    dn’
    trapeher
    .Isl
    eptwi
    thher
    .Ihav
    e
    beensl
    eepi
    ngwi
    thherf
    orawhi
    l
    enow.
    ”
    Shenodded.“
    Isee.
    ”
    “Ihav
    eproofthatIhavebeensleepi
    ngwit
    hher,
    Iputheri
    nthewar drobeyest
    erdaywhenyou
    came.Iwasgoingt ogetherout.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.Il
    ovey
    ousomuchbabeandImade
    amist
    ake.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Helookedatherwhil
    eshesatcal
    mly
    wonderi
    ngwhatwasgongoni nherhead.He’
    d
    rat
    herhaveherscr
    eamingt
    hanquiet.Shest
    ood
    up.
    “
    Iam t
    ir
    ed.Goodni
    ght
    .”
    “
    Arey
    ounotgoingt
    osaysomet
    hing.Iknow
    y
    ouareangr
    y.”
    “
    Me?Nah.Ihav
    enot
    hingt
    osay
    .”
    “
    Lebot
    haisjustscar
    edt
    hatyouwil
    lfi
    ndoutt
    he
    t
    rut
    hthat
    ’swhysheismakingupst
    ories.
    ”
    “
    Ok.Goodni
    ght
    .”
    Shewentupt hest
    air
    sasheputhi
    shandson
    hishead.Hetookhi
    sphoneandcal
    ledher
    sett
    inghisphonet
    orecor
    d.
    “
    Whatdoy
    ouwant
    ?”
    “
    Soy
    our
    atherl
    i
    ethatIr
    apedy
    ou?
    ”
    “Howcoul
    dleav
    emei
    nthewar
    drobet
    heent
    ir
    e
    night
    ?”
    “Mywif
    ewashome,
    whatdi
    dyouwantmet
    o
    do?”
    “Assoonasshesl
    epty
    oushoul
    dhavetaken
    meoutandauntyLi
    nawoul
    dhavenever
    known.”
    “
    Sot
    osav
    eyour
    sel
    fyoucr
    yrape?
    ”
    “Whatdoy ouwantmet odo?Idon’
    twant
    tobe
    suedforhomewr ecki
    ng!”
    “
    Soy
    our
    atherhav
    emej
    ail
    edt
    hen?
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “Howcanyouj
    ustli
    eaboutsomet
    hingsobi
    g?
    YouknowIwil
    lgetar
    rest
    edri
    ght
    ?”
    “Iam sor
    ryIli
    ed,
    Iwasjustscared.Howdidyou
    wanttoexplai
    nwhatIwasdoi nginhercl
    oset
    naked?”
    “Youaregoi
    ngt ohavetot
    ell
    hert
    het
    rut
    h
    becauseIal
    readydid.
    ”
    “
    Youwhat
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Shei
    sgoi
    ngt
    oki
    l
    lme.
    ”
    Ti
    nashookhi
    sheadandhungup.

    *
    **

    Att
    hemal
    l
    ,Ipar
    kedt
    hecart
    henst
    eppedout
    wi
    tht
    heki
    ds.
    “
    Wear
    egoi
    ngt
    ogetf
    oodt
    hengobackhome.
    ”
    “
    Okmama.
    ”
    Ilockedt hecarthenwal
    kedbehi
    ndt hem whil
    e
    theywal kedinfr
    ontofme.Wewal kedinside
    therestaurantandgotouror
    derthenwal ked
    out.Atthepar ki
    nglot
    ,If
    rownedstari
    ngatt he
    frontfl
    att y
    re.Il
    ookedar
    oundthenwal kedover
    toit.
    “
    Mama,
    arewegoi
    nghome?
    ”
    Iunl
    ockedt
    hecar
    .“Yes.Geti
    nthecar
    .”
    Kyratookhersi st
    er’
    shandandhel pedher
    i
    nsidethecarwhi leIstoodstil
    lunsureofwhat
    todo.Acarpar kedbesi deminet henAbe
    steppedoutf i
    xi
    nghi scap.Ourey eslockedas
    myhear tpoundedt henal adysteppedoutfrom
    theotherside.
    “
    Babe,
    Ithi
    nkweshoul
    djustgetpi
    zza.
    ”
    Heturnedandlookedattheladywhi
    leIl
    ooked
    atherface.Shet
    urnedandlookedatmethen
    smil
    ed.
    “
    Ohmywor
    d!”
    Ismi
    l
    edasshewal
    kedov
    er.“
    Eazi
    ?”
    “
    Renei
    ,hey
    …wow,
    longt
    ime.
    ”
    “Tel
    lmeaboutit
    !Youl
    ookwow!I
    sthatar
    ing?
    Youaremarr
    ied?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Congrat
    ulat
    ions.Babe,t
    hiswasmyr
    oommate
    atvarsi
    ty,
    Eazi,Eazit
    hisi
    smyman,Abedi
    l
    e.”
    Abedi
    l
    elooedatmeasIt
    uckedmyhai
    rbehind
    myear.“
    Iknowher
    .Shei
    sMalcol
    m’smother.
    ”
    Renei
    l
    welookedatmeandst
    eppedback.“
    Oh…
    whatasmallwor
    ld.
    ”
    Inodded.“
    Yeah.I
    t’
    sgoodt
    oseey
    ou.
    ”
    Abel
    ookedatmyt
    ir
    e.“
    Whathappenedt
    oyour
    t
    yre?
    ”
    “Idon’
    tknow, Iwakedinsi
    dethemall
    andwhen
    Icamebacki twaslikethat
    .MaybeIsteppedon
    something.
    ”
    Hewal
    kedovertoi
    tandi
    nspect
    edi
    t.“
    Doy
    ou
    hav
    easpar
    et y
    re?”
    Iwal
    kedtothebootandopened.“
    Ican’
    tsee
    anyt
    hing.
    ”
    Hewal
    kedov
    erandl
    ooked.“
    Ok,
    arey
    oual
    one?
    ”
    “
    Ihav
    emyki
    ds.
    ”
    Helookedi
    nsi
    det
    hecar
    .“Wecangi
    vey
    oua
    l
    if
    t.
    ”
    Myeyest
    urnedt
    oReneilwewhowasst ar
    ing.
    “
    No,i
    t’
    sfi
    ne.Iwi
    llgetacab.Butt
    hanks.
    ”
    “
    Howi
    sMal
    c?”
    “
    Hewi
    l
    lbef
    ine.
    ”
    Hesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Yeah,
    Iknowhi
    m.I
    twi
    l
    lbel
    i
    kei
    t
    nev
    erhappened.
    ”
    “
    Tel
    lmeabouti
    t.I
    sthatanot
    herbaby
    ?”
    “
    Idi
    dn’
    tpl
    ant
    hatone.
    ”
    “
    Younev
    erpl
    ant
    hem.
    ”
    “
    Iam ser
    ious.
    ”
    “
    Asusual
    .Thefif
    thwomancar
    ryi
    ngyourDNA.
    I
    magi
    neifal
    lthoseki
    dswer
    ehere.
    ”
    “I
    fLel
    entl
    ewassti
    ll
    herethenwewoul
    dn’
    tbe
    heret
    oday.Youl
    ookbeauti
    ful
    .”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Thanks.
    ”
    “
    Can’
    tbel
    i
    evet
    hatcr
    imi
    nal
    bast
    ardmar
    ri
    ed
    y
    ou.”
    Il
    aughed.“Can’tbel
    iev
    ey oumadeyetanot
    her
    womanpr egnant.It
    ’sl
    ikeyouwantt
    oshowt he
    whol
    ewor ldthatyoucanhav eki
    ds.
    ”
    Hel
    aughed."
    Theyhav
    etoknow.
    ”
    “
    Keset
    sekegot
    saba.
    ”
    “Ontsabe!Ihopeheknowst haty ouar
    emine
    Eazi
    .Hecanmar r
    yy ouall
    helikes,hav
    eyou
    ever
    ynightbutyouar emine.Rememberwhen
    youwereal i
    tt
    lestupid.
    ”
    “
    Mxm,
    war
    engnar
    e!”
    “
    Olesemat
    lany
    ana.
    ”
    “
    Leav
    emeal
    one.
    ”
    Hetuckedmyhairbehi
    nd.“
    Andyouwere
    r
    efusi
    ngtoleav
    ethatabusi
    vemanofyours.
    ”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Iwasst
    il
    lachi
    l
    d.”
    “
    Rememberwheny
    oursi
    sterf
    orcey
    out
    ocome
    wi
    thme.
    ”
    Il
    aughedhar
    der
    .“Iwi
    l
    lnev
    erf
    orgett
    hat
    .”
    “
    Iwassohappy
    ,fi
    nal
    l
    yIhady
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Uhhhbabe!
    ”
    Ist
    eppedbackasRenei
    lwewalkedover
    .“Eazi
    ,
    wehavetogo,wewil
    lseeyouaround.
    ”
    “
    Yeah…”
    Abelookedatmewit
    hasmilet
    henwalked
    awaywithRenei
    l
    we.Myphonerangf
    rom my
    pocket
    .
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Tani
    scheat
    ing.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Wit
    hLebot
    ha.
    ”
    “
    OhMyGod!
    ”
    “
    Itr
    eat
    edherl
    i
    kemydaught
    er.
    ”
    “
    Wow!
    ”
    “
    Onmybed.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ryLi
    na.
    ”
    “
    Hesleptwit
    hherinmyhouse,onmybed.Af
    ter
    t
    hathebroughtt
    hesamedickandputi
    tinme.”
    “
    YouknowLebot
    hai
    sHi
    vposi
    ti
    ver
    ight
    ?”
    “
    Igott
    hepept
    reat
    ment
    .”
    “
    Ok.Whatar
    eyougoi
    ngt
    odo?
    ”
    “
    Iam numbEazi
    .Idon’
    tknowhowt
    ofeel
    .”
    “Iwi
    shy oucansueher.Idon’
    tli
    ket
    hatgi
    rl
    ,she
    oncerapedMalcol
    mt hetimehergr
    andmother
    usedtobabysi
    tforme.”
    “
    Shewhat
    ?”
    “Sherapedhim andtol
    dhim shewoul
    dbuyhi
    m
    sweets.Aft
    erthatthat
    ’swhenhermot
    hert
    ook
    her.
    ”
    “
    Idi
    dn’
    tknowt
    his.
    ”
    “Yourmist
    akewast
    otakeheri
    nli
    key
    our
    daught
    er.”
    “
    Iinv
    itedanent
    ir
    esnakei
    nmyhouse.
    ”
    “NotthatIam say
    ingyoudeser vei
    tbutthi
    sis
    whathappenedwi t
    hGi na.Sheinvi
    tedyoui
    nher
    housebecauseshet ooky oul
    ikeherown
    daughterandyousleptwithherhusbandbehi
    nd
    herbackl
    eadi
    ngheri
    ntohav
    ingast
    roke.
    ”
    “Di
    dn’tGodpunishmef ort
    hatal
    ready?Il
    ost
    ever
    ythi
    ngafterthatandmysist
    ertookmy
    husband.
    ”
    “Youl ostev ery
    thingbecausey oucheat ed.Not
    becausey ouhur tanot herwoman.Shet oldme
    whaty ousai dtoheri nthehospi tal.About
    hav i
    ngt hesamet astei nmen.Nott hatIbelieve
    i
    nkar ma, honestlyIfeel whatpeopl ecal lkarma
    i
    speopl e’sli
    femi sfort
    unesbutf ort oyou, it
    doesf eel l
    ikekarma.Gi nal eftherhusband, got
    divorcedbecauseofy ou.Ther easar i
    ftinthe
    family.Younev erapologi zedf orthat .Younev er
    apologi zedforhur ti
    ngher ,
    y ounev erapol ogized
    toTendai forwhaty oudi d.I twoul dhav ebeena
    whol edi f
    ferentsituati
    onal l togetherhady ou
    j
    ustcheatwi t
    har andom manbuty ousl eptwith
    hisfather .
    ”
    “
    Lebot
    hahasr
    eal
    l
    yhur
    tme.
    ”
    “
    Justl
    i
    key
    our
    eal
    l
    yhur
    tGi
    na.
    ”
    “
    Ist
    hatsupposedt
    omakemef
    eel
    bet
    terEaz
    i?”
    “
    No,
    it’
    sthet
    rut
    h.Ibumpedi
    ntoAbe.
    ”
    “
    And?
    ”
    “
    Hehasanewgi
    rl
    fr
    iemd,
    shei
    spr
    egnant
    .”
    “
    Wow!
    ”
    “
    Yeah,Iknowhertoo,wewerer
    oommat
    esat
    v
    ari
    stybefor
    eIdroppedout
    .”
    “
    Doessheknow?
    ”
    “
    Yeah,
    het
    oldher
    .”
    “Il
    i
    keOt engforyoubecausehel ovesyouand
    youlovehim.Yourloveissomethingalotof
    peoplewant,abadboyisheav enbutAbewasa
    goodman, ignor
    ingthecheat
    ingandl i
    es.
    ”
    “
    Gonemmat
    hatmanwast
    hebest
    .”
    “
    Hest
    il
    li
    s.Hest
    il
    ll
    ov esy
    ou.IbetIy
    out
    ell
    him
    y
    ouwanthi
    mback,hewil
    lj
    ump.”
    Ilaughed.“
    Hewill
    butt hel
    ovewasnever
    enough.Yesitwastherebutj
    ustnotenough.I
    feelwemetatthewr ongti
    me,wewer enot
    readyforeachot
    herthen.”
    “
    Youar
    edef
    ini
    tel
    yri
    ght
    .”
    “Buty
    ouseemyman…If
    eel
    li
    kehef
    edme
    somethi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Kedi
    ckpot
    ion.
    ”
    Il
    aughed.“ Mustbe,Li
    naIlovethatmanso
    much,Godknowswhatwi l
    lhappentomei f
    anyt
    hinghappenst ohim orus.Il
    ovehim so
    muchi tfeel
    sli
    keIhavenev erl
    ovedbefore.He
    wastailormadeforme.Thankt helor
    df orthat
    manbecausewow! ”
    “
    Mxm,
    arey
    out
    ryi
    ngt
    orubi
    tonmyf
    ace?
    ”
    “NobutwhatIknowisthatifaslutt
    hinksshe
    cansl
    eepwithmymanandgetawaywi thit
    ,
    shei
    slyi
    ngtohersel
    f.Iwil
    lkil
    lherandIam not
    l
    eavi
    ngmymanf ort
    hat.Iam tel
    li
    ngyou.That
    one,
    Iwillonl
    yl eavewhenIdi
    e.Wewi
    ll
    sitdown
    andfi
    xthepr oblem.Comeandgetme,Ihav
    ea
    fl
    att
    yre.Ineedt otel
    lhi
    mtoo.”
    “
    Iam comi
    ng,
    wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    GameCi
    tyMal
    l
    .”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Ihungupt
    hencal
    l
    edOt
    engget
    ti
    ngi
    nthecar
    .

    *
    **

    Insi
    dethemal
    l
    ,Renei
    l
    wel
    ookedatAbewi
    tha
    sigh.
    "
    Doy
    oust
    il
    ll
    oveher
    ?"
    "
    What
    ?"
    "Doyoust
    il
    ll
    oveher
    ?Eazi
    .Doy
    oust
    il
    ll
    ove
    her?
    "
    "
    Thi
    sagai
    n?"
    "Youwerefli
    rt
    ingwithherrightbefor
    emyey es
    Abedil
    esoy oucan'texpectmenott othi
    nk
    anyt
    hing.Youwanther ,anyonecanseethat
    !I
    am notbli
    nd.Youinstantl
    yforgotaboutmethe
    momenty ousawher ."
    "
    Iwasj
    ustgr
    eet
    ingher
    ."
    "Thatwasmoret hanjustgr eeti
    ng.Am Iwasti
    ng
    myt i
    meAbedile?IfIam, pleaset el
    lmesothatI
    cantakeastepbackandmov eonwi t
    hmylife
    becauseIdon'
    twantt ostickwi thyouthenone
    daywhenEazif i
    nall
    yrethinksy oujumpleavi
    ng
    me.Am Iwastingmyt ime? "
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #115
    Abel
    ookedi
    nherey
    esandsi
    ghed.
    “Il
    ov eyouandIam wi thyou,IknowIwas
    wrongbutIdon’ twanther.Eaziismarri
    edand
    shehaschi ldr
    enwithherhusband.Ihav ecut
    offev er
    ythi
    ngthatremindsmeofherort hat
    sti
    llconnectsmewi thher.Iam sorr
    yImade
    youdoubtmyl oveorcommi tementtoyou, j
    ust
    thatthelastti
    mewespokei twas’tt
    hatnice
    andt odayIbeli
    evejustcl
    earedtheair.
    ”
    Renei
    lwesighedwonderingifshewas
    over
    thi
    nki
    ngi t
    .“Al
    lIneedfrom youishonest
    y
    Abe.Youdon’thav
    et ofeelyouhavetobewith
    me.Ifi
    t’
    sthepregnancythatisfor
    cingyou,I
    wil
    labor
    t.
    ”
    “Il
    oveyou,howmanytimesshoul
    dIsayit
    ?I
    am sor
    ryaboutwhathappenedwi
    thEazi
    .Thi
    s
    i
    sexhausti
    ngmeRenei l
    we.”
    “
    Whyshoul
    ditexhausty
    ouwhenal
    lyouhav
    eto
    doi sbehonestwi t
    hy ourself
    ?Iwat chedy ou
    fl
    irtwit
    hherr i
    ghtbefor emyey es,youf orgotme.
    Sadi wasr i
    ght
    ,youwi llalway sloveEazi .
    Tomor rowmor ningIam abor ti
    ngt histhi
    ng.I
    willnotstaywithamanwhoi sunsur eof
    himself.Ihavebetterthingst hantobe
    compet eingwithadr opoutwhochoseadi ck
    overherst udi
    es.It
    ’ssur pri
    singsomeone
    actuall
    ymar ri
    edherbuti fyourtypei sthattype,
    thenwel l
    ,goodluck.”
    Reneil
    wet
    urnedandwalkedout
    .Abewentaf
    ter
    herandgr
    abbedherhand.“
    Canyoust
    op?Iam
    sorr
    y.”
    “Youar ewit
    hmebecauseEazi isnotther
    e.I
    sawhowy ouwer esmil
    ingwit
    hher.Iam
    abort
    ingthischil
    dtomor r
    ow.Iwil
    lnotcar
    rya
    fat
    herlesschil
    d.Tell
    youruncl
    esnottocomet o
    mypar ent’
    shouse.”
    ShewalkedawayasAbemassagedhistempl
    es
    tr
    yingt
    or i
    dthebadheadachehehad.
    *
    **

    Meanwhi
    leReneil
    wetookoutherphoneand
    cal
    l
    edhersi
    ster.“
    GuesswhoAbe’sexis?”
    “
    Whoi
    sit
    ?”
    “
    Eazi
    …”
    “
    Who’
    sthat
    ?”
    “
    Thegi
    rlIusedtosharet
    heroom wi
    th.Theone
    whowor
    et hesamet-shi
    rtamil
    l
    iont
    imes.”
    “
    Ohhh!Ir
    emember
    .”
    “Ihav
    edecidedtoendt herel
    ati
    onship.Ican’
    t
    keepdoingthi
    sany more.Hewasf l
    ir
    tingwith
    herri
    ghtinf
    rontofme, shewasf l
    i
    rti
    ngbackas
    i
    fsheisnotmar r
    ied.”
    “
    Soy
    ouar
    eleav
    ingf
    orEazi
    ?”
    “
    No,
    becausehei
    sunsur
    eofhi
    msel
    f.Iam
    abor
    ti
    ngt
    hisbabyt
    omor
    row.
    ”
    “
    Whydoy
    oual
    way
    sdot
    his?
    ”
    “
    Dowhat
    ?”
    “Getpregnanant
    , beakupwi t
    hthemant hen
    abort
    .Clearl
    ythisguyi sst
    il
    linlov
    ewithhisex
    butheiswor ki
    ngonhi mself.Youwil
    ll
    eavehim
    andtomor r
    owhewi ll
    meetawomanwhowi ll
    helphi
    mf orgetjustli
    kethat.
    ”
    “Hewil
    lnotf
    orgetunlesshewant st
    oandi n
    thi
    scasehedoes’twantto.Iam donewithhim,
    Ihavet
    ri
    edbutclearl
    yit’
    sjustnotworki
    ng.”
    “
    Ok.Dowhaty
    ouwant
    .”
    Renei
    lwepassedAbe’scarthenlookedatEazi
    whowasi nt
    hecarbesideitlaughi
    ngonthe
    phone.Shewalkedov
    er.

    *
    **
    I
    nmycar
    ,Il
    aughedr
    oll
    i
    ngmyey
    es.
    “Iam notscar
    edoff
    lyi
    ngjustt
    hatIam scar
    ed
    ofheight
    s.Areweevergoi
    ngtogoforour
    honeymoon? ”
    “
    Yeah,
    Ipr
    omi
    sey
    ou,
    wewi
    l
    l.
    ”
    “
    Iwantt
    ogobackt
    oSt
    .Luci
    a.”
    Mydooropenedt
    henRenei
    l
    wel
    ookedatme.
    “
    Canwet
    alk?
    ”
    “
    Uhhbabe,
    letmecal
    lyouback.
    ”
    Ihungupandl
    ookedathercal
    mly
    .“Hey
    ,what
    i
    sit?”
    “Doy outhinki
    t’
    sokt ojustfl
    i
    rtwithAberi
    ghtin
    frontofmewhi lewearinganotherman’
    sr i
    ng?I
    don’tknow, maybeit’
    sjustmebutdoy outhink
    i
    t’sokt obefli
    rt
    ingwithanothermaninfrontof
    hisgirl
    fri
    endwhilewear i
    ngaring,i
    nfr
    ontof
    yourownki ds?Isitok?”
    “
    Renei
    l
    we-
    “
    “No,
    justanswermeEazi
    .Ify
    ouf
    eel
    it’
    sokt
    hen
    cool
    .”
    “
    Iwasn’
    tfl
    i
    rti
    ngwi
    thy
    ourman.
    ”
    “Oh.Howdoy oucallwhatyouweredoi
    ngthen?
    Doy outhi
    nky ourhusbandwouldbehappyifhe
    knewy ouletanothermantouchyouandfli
    rt
    withyou,worsethatmanbei ngy
    ourex?”
    “MyhusbandtrustsmesamewayIt rusthim
    andIwasn’tfl
    ir
    ti
    ngsohewoul dunderstand
    whenItel
    lhim becausehedoesn’
    tsufferfr
    om
    i
    nsecur
    iti
    es.”
    Reneil
    wesmiled.“Whyareyoudoingthi
    s?Can’
    t
    youjustl
    ethi
    m mov eon?Can’
    tyouseeyouare
    hol
    dinghisl
    if
    est agnant?
    ”
    “Idon’
    tknowwhatyouaretal
    ki
    ngabout
    .I
    haven'
    tspokentot
    hismaninagesandwejust
    bumpedi nt
    oeachother
    .”
    “
    Wellcongr
    atul
    ati
    onsonbeingyetagai
    nthe
    r
    easonhisrel
    ati
    onshi
    pdoesn’
    twork.”
    “Meaningyouwer enottheoneforhim.
    Someonei sgoi
    ngt ocomehi swayandIpray
    soonerandshewi ll
    betheone.Hewon’ tt
    hink
    ofanyoneelsebuther.Justt
    hatit
    ’sashame
    whoeveriti
    swillhavetodealwit
    hy ou.
    ”
    “Iabort
    ingthi
    sbabyandyouarelyi
    ngEazi,
    you
    l
    ov eseeinghi
    m miser
    abl
    eandcryingfory
    ou.I
    t
    givesyoupeacetoseehi
    ml i
    kethat.
    ”
    “ThankGod!Abor
    tthatthi
    ng,Iknowhedidn’
    t
    wantthi
    schil
    d.Butthankyouforkeepi
    nghim
    companywhenhehadnoone. ”
    Reneil
    weangr
    il
    ywal
    kedaway.Abewal
    kedout
    ofthemal
    landunl
    ockedhi
    scarwal
    ki
    ngovert
    o
    mine.
    “
    Letmedr
    opy
    ouof
    fathome.
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    ed."
    ThanksbutLi
    nai
    sonherway
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    ldr
    opy
    ouof
    fbyt
    hegat
    e.”
    “
    Myhusbandwoul
    dn’
    tli
    kei
    t.
    ”
    “
    Gat
    wehusband?
    ”
    Il
    aughed.“
    ByeAbe,
    sayhi
    toSummer
    .”
    Hegoti
    nhi
    scarwi
    thasmi
    l
    ethendr
    oveaway
    l
    eavi
    ngmeinmycar
    .

    *
    **

    Binapar
    kedhercaratt
    hegar
    agethenst
    epped
    outashewalkedoverwi
    thasmi
    le.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Howl
    ongwi
    l
    litt
    aket
    ogetmycarf
    ixed?
    ”
    Hel
    ookedatt
    hescr
    atch.“
    Notl
    ong.Comet
    his
    way
    .”
    Het
    ookherhandast
    hemechani
    cwal
    kedov
    er.
    “
    Wewi
    l
    lbebacki
    nanhourorso.
    ”
    “
    Sur
    ebr
    azi
    n!”
    “
    Makei
    tlookni
    ce.
    ”
    Binawalkedbehi
    ndhim asheledherouttohi
    s
    carthenopenedthedoorforher
    .“Geti
    n.”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyout
    aki
    ngme?
    ”
    “
    Geti
    n.”
    Binagotinthenheclosedthedoorandwalked
    roundtohisdoor.Hejumpedinhiscart
    hen
    star
    teditdi
    ali
    nganumber .Heputthephoneon
    hisphone.
    “T-
    man,it
    ’sLet
    so,
    isever
    ythi
    ngi
    nplace?Ok
    cool
    .”Hehungupwhil
    eBinacur
    iousl
    ylookedat
    him.
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyout
    aki
    ngme?
    ”
    “
    Somewher
    eni
    ce.
    ”
    “
    Ihopeyouar
    enotki
    dnappi
    ngme,
    Ineedt
    otel
    l
    myfri
    endi
    ncaseIgomissi
    ng.
    ”
    Bi
    nat
    ookoutherphoneandcal
    l
    edEazi
    .
    “
    Bina.
    .”
    “
    Eazi,
    Iam goingsomewher ewit
    ht hemanwho
    mademescr atchmycar ,
    incasetomorr
    ow
    morni
    ngyoucan’ tgethol
    dofme.”
    Eazil
    aughed.“
    Ok,Iwi
    l
    ltel
    lthepoli
    ceshel
    eftt
    o
    getdi
    ckandsheisnotbackyet.
    ”
    “
    Whatar
    eyousay
    ing?
    ”
    “Wher
    eareyougoi ngwi t
    hhimi fi
    t’
    snotfordick?
    Andfr
    iendyouneedi t.Youaresocranky
    !How
    l
    onghasitbeen?Year ssinceyouhadsex.Ever
    si
    nceMoemedi .I
    st heholesti
    llev
    enther
    e? ”
    “
    Mxm.
    ”
    “
    Don’
    tfor
    get
    ,useacondom.
    ”
    “
    Shar
    p.”
    Binahungupandsighedwhi
    leLesost
    ole
    gl
    ancesather.Awhil
    elat
    erhedrovei
    nsi
    dea
    gateandpar
    kedhiscar.
    “
    Come…Leav
    eyourbagi
    nthecar
    .Idon’
    twant
    phones.
    ”
    “Icandef endmy self!I
    fyouthi
    nkyouwillt
    ake
    advantageofmey ouhav eanothert
    hing
    comi ng.ItakeboxingclassesandIam not
    scaredt odamagey ourbal
    ls.
    ”
    Let
    sosmil
    edthent
    il
    tedherchi
    nandki
    ssedher
    sof
    tl
    y.“
    Let
    ’sgo.
    ”
    Hest eppedout
    ,Binarubbedherl
    ipstogether
    gett
    ingout.Heputhishandonherwai stand
    l
    edhert othebackyar
    dwher eanicepicni
    cset
    upwasbeaut i
    ful
    lydoneont hegr
    eenshor tl
    awn
    nearthepool.
    “
    Come…”
    Shesmi l
    edast heywalkedov er,
    hecr ouched
    beforeherandhel pedhert
    akeof fhershoes.
    Binasatonthepi l
    lowstarr
    ingatt hesnacksand
    therosepetalsthatwereallover.Itf
    eltl
    ike
    somet hi
    ngfrom themov i
    escene.
    Let
    sosatopposi
    teher
    .“Howmanyki
    dsdoy
    ou
    hav
    e?”
    “
    One.
    ”
    “
    Howol
    d?”
    “
    Fiv
    e.”
    “
    Ok.Ihav
    etwokidsfr
    om myprev
    iousmar
    ri
    age
    whi
    chendedf
    iveyear
    sback.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    eisy
    ourexnow?
    ”
    “
    Shei
    sther
    e.”
    “
    Mar
    ri
    ed?
    ”
    “
    No.
    ”
    Binanodded.“
    Ok.Bef
    orey
    ouask,
    myexi
    s
    dead.
    ”
    Let
    sosmi
    l
    ed.“
    Bet
    ter
    .”
    Bi
    nal
    aughed.“
    Shameony
    ou.
    ”
    “NowIknowcompl
    etel
    ythatt
    herear
    eno
    chancesofy
    ougoi
    ngbackther
    e.”
    “
    Whatabouty
    ou?
    ”
    “Iam completelydonewi
    thher
    .Shecheated
    thengotdiseasesandontopofthatgot
    pregnantandt hemanshewasrunningar
    ound
    withisamar r
    iedmanwhot odayissti
    l
    lwit
    hhis
    wife.
    ”
    “
    Soundsl
    i
    kemydeadex,
    that
    ’swhyhedi
    ed.
    ”
    Letsosmil
    ed.“
    Let’
    seat
    .Ihadthi
    spr
    epar
    edf
    or
    you,It
    houghtyouwoul
    dn’
    tli
    keit
    .
    “
    Why
    ?”
    “
    Becausey
    ouar
    eadi
    ff
    icul
    tlady
    .”
    Bi
    nal
    aughed.“
    That
    ’snott
    rue.
    ”
    “
    Isi
    tnot
    ?”
    “
    No.
    ”
    Helookedatherthenl
    eanedov
    erki
    ssi
    ngher
    agai
    nthenhelaidherdownget
    ti
    ngbet
    weenher
    l
    egs.
    *
    **

    Abet
    houghtf
    ull
    ysatinhi
    scarthenfi
    nal
    l
    ytook
    hi
    sphoneandtappedEazi
    ’snumber
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hey
    ,Iwantt
    otal
    ktoy
    ou.CanIseey
    ou?
    ”
    “Unfor
    tunat
    elyt
    hatwon’tbepossi
    ble.Same
    wayIdon’twantOtengmeetingupwithhisex’
    s
    i
    st hesamewayIwon’ tmeetupwithmi ne
    becausehefeelst
    hesame.Ishouldn’tevenbe
    tal
    kingtoyou.
    ”
    “Doyouthi
    nkwear
    egoi
    ngt
    oev
    erst
    anda
    chance.
    ”
    “No.Il
    ovedy ousomuch,butIguessi
    twas
    neverenough.Iwon'
    tdenywhatwehadwas
    speci
    albutitcameatthewrongti
    me.Foryou,
    forme,forus.Youwil
    lfor
    everhaveaspeci
    al
    placeinmyhear tAbebecauset hr oughy ouI
    l
    ear nthowt ol ove.May bewewer easeasont o
    teachuscer tai
    nt hi
    ngssowecandobet ter.I
    don’tknowabouty oubutourr elationshi
    p
    taughtmeal otandIt hi
    nkIhav ebecomea
    betterper sonnowi nmycur r
    entr elati
    onship.I
    l
    ov emyhusbandsomuchandIcan’ timagine
    l
    ifewi thouthi m.Ial soprayyouf indsomeone
    l
    iket hat,someoney ouwon’thav et osecond
    guess, someonewhowi l
    ll
    ovey ousomucht hat
    youwi lltellthewhol eworl
    dthatIhav efound
    theone.St opl ookingformei nthosewomen,
    youwi llnev erf i
    ndme. ”
    “
    Iwi
    shIcoul
    djustswi
    tchof
    fmyf
    eel
    i
    ngs.
    ”
    “Youcan’tbuty oucanmov eon.Lif
    egoeson.
    Threeyearslateryouhavemadeanot her
    womanpr egnant.Doyouevenseeaf uturewit
    h
    her?Oryouf eel t
    heneedtobewi t
    hhert oprov
    e
    apoint
    ?”
    “
    Itwasj
    ustsexatf
    ir
    stbuti
    ttur
    nedt
    o
    somethi
    ngser
    ious.Iact
    ual
    l
    ylov
    eherbel
    i
    evei
    t
    ornot
    .”
    “Ibeli
    eveyou.Giveitti
    me.Don’tmakeherf eel
    asifsheisinacompet i
    onwithme, shei
    snot .
    YouandIar edone.Youneedt otell
    hert
    hat.
    Wor konit
    .Shei sagoodper son.Shetookcare
    ofmebacki nv arsi
    ty.Don’
    tbri
    ngt heworstout
    ofher.”
    “
    Your
    eal
    l
    ylov
    ehi
    m don’
    tyou?
    "
    “Wordscan’texplainhowmuchIl ovehim.Wi t
    h
    l
    ov eyouwil
    l al
    way slearnasy ougo.Iwanty ou
    happy.Youar etoogr owntober unningaround
    l
    ikeaheadlesschi cken,makingev er
    yone
    pregnantl
    i
    key ouaref at
    hernati
    on.Settl
    e
    down.”
    “
    Yesmam.Iseebusi
    nessi
    sdoi
    nggr
    eat
    .”
    “I
    tis,
    Ican’
    tbel
    iveIhavecomethisf
    ar.My
    dri
    nksarenowinter
    nati
    onal
    .Andtothi
    nkIdon’t
    evenhaveadegreeyetIam wher
    eIam today
    .”
    “Iam proudofy
    ou.Isawt
    haty
    ouev
    enhav
    ea
    cleani
    ngcompany.
    ”
    “
    Yes.St
    art
    edf
    rom t
    hebot
    tom.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    edoi
    nggr
    eatbabe.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou,
    soar
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Feel
    sgoodt
    alki
    ngt
    oyou.
    ”
    Eazil
    aughed.“Iknow,withoutthefi
    ghti
    ngand
    all
    ,i
    tfeel
    sr eal
    l
    ygood.Butnowt hatwehave
    tal
    ked,Iam goingtodel
    etey ournumberand
    pret
    endt hi
    sphonecallneverhappened.”
    Hel
    aughed.“
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    ByeAbedi
    l
    e.”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Shehungupt
    henhet
    ookhi
    sphoneanddi
    aled
    Renei
    l
    we.
    “
    Abedi
    l
    e-“
    “
    Iam sor
    ryIf
    li
    rt
    edwi
    thEaz
    i,Iwaswr
    ong.Iam
    sor
    rythatImadey oudoubtmyl ov eforyou.I
    am sorryt
    hatIhaven’tbeengivi
    ngitmyal lbutI
    l
    ovey ouandthi
    st i
    mear oundIam ser i
    ous.Iam
    movingonf r
    om thepastandIwantt omov eon
    wit
    hy ou.CanIpleasehav eonelastchance.”
    “Iam donewithy ouAbedile.Iam abort
    ingthi
    s
    babytomorrowt heny ouandIwon’ thave
    anythi
    ngtyi
    ngust ogether
    .Iam ti
    redofbeing
    takenforafool.I
    tendst oday!”
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #116

    Thefoll
    owingmorni
    ng,Otengopenedhi
    sey
    es
    asthedoctorwal
    kedinthenhestoodup
    st
    retchi
    ng.Thedoct
    orlookedathi
    m and
    quickl
    ylookedawaybef
    orehecoul
    dcat
    chher
    stari
    ng.
    “Uhh,It
    houghti
    twoul
    dbehi
    smot
    hert
    ost
    ay
    behind.
    ”
    “
    Mywi
    feneededsomer
    estsoIst
    ayedbehi
    nd.
    ”
    “
    Isee.Let
    ’ssee.
    ”
    Shet ur
    nedtoMal com ashisphoner
    ang.He
    tookitoutfr
    om hispocketandanswered
    star
    ingattheladydoctor.
    “
    Heymama…”
    “
    Hey
    …anychange?
    ”
    “
    Thedoct
    ori
    swi
    thhi
    m,l
    etmegeti
    tfr
    om her
    .”
    “
    Ok.Howdi
    dyousl
    eep.
    ”
    “
    Ont
    hewat
    chout
    .”
    Shel
    aughed.“
    Comehome.Iwi
    l
    lgoandsee
    hi
    m.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Hav
    eyouspokent
    oPenny
    ?”
    “
    No.Iwi
    l
    lgi
    veherar
    oundaf
    terIf
    reshenup.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iam maki
    ngbr
    eakf
    ast
    .”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lbet
    her
    e.”
    Thedoct
    ort
    urnedt
    ohi
    m.“
    Hei
    sdoi
    ngf
    ine.
    ”
    “
    Whencanhewakeup?
    ”
    “
    Any
    time.
    ”
    Ani
    ncomi
    ngcal
    lbeepedonhi
    sphone.
    “
    What
    ’st
    hedoct
    orsay
    ing?
    ”
    “
    Thathei
    sfi
    neandcanwakeupany
    time.
    ”
    “Iam comi
    ngt
    here,
    Idon’
    twanthi
    m al
    lal
    one
    i
    ncasehewakesup.Iwi
    ll
    bri
    ngthecarwi
    tht
    he
    kidst
    henweswit
    ch.”
    “
    Goodi
    dea.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lqui
    ckl
    ymakebr
    eakf
    ast
    .”
    “
    Letmehearwhatt
    hedoct
    ori
    ssay
    ing,
    Iwi
    l
    lcal
    l
    y
    ouback.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hedroppedandanswer
    edt
    hei
    ncomi
    ngcal
    l
    wal
    ki
    ngout si
    de.
    “
    Yeah?
    ”
    “
    Oteng,
    it’
    sMuhammad.
    ”
    “
    Andwhot
    hef
    uckar
    eyou?
    ”
    “Oneofmycont
    act
    sgav
    emey
    ournumber
    .I
    haveadeal
    fory
    ou.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “Iwantgunswor
    th$1mi
    l
    li
    onandcocai
    newor
    th
    $500.”
    “Areyoufucki
    ngwi thmer i
    ghtnow?Yourtr
    aps
    areweakasf uck!Ifyouhavenothi
    ngbet
    terto
    do,goplayandst opfucki
    ngonmyphone. ”
    “
    Look,Iam ser
    ious,
    Igotthi
    snumberf
    rom
    Marzena,
    saidi
    fIcouldcont
    acty
    oupersonal
    l
    y.
    Code43217.
    ”
    “Contactmyassoci
    ates,
    sheknowswhatgoes
    on.”
    Hehungupanddel
    etedt
    hecal
    lthenwalked
    backi
    nsi
    dether
    oom wher
    ethedoctorst
    il
    lwas.
    “
    So…?Any
    thi
    ngel
    se?
    ”
    Shesmi
    led.“
    No,
    asIwassay
    inghecanwake
    upanyt
    imesoneedt
    ostr
    essthatmuch.
    ”
    “
    Okt
    hanks.
    ”
    “Iam sor
    ry,
    Ithi
    nkIhav
    eseeny
    ouatmy
    church.
    ”
    Ot
    engl
    ookedather
    .“Mi
    ghtbe.
    ”
    Shesmi
    l
    edt
    hennoddedwal
    ki
    ngout
    .

    *
    **

    If
    ini
    shedwi
    tht
    hebr
    eakf
    astt
    hendi
    shedf
    ort
    he
    ki
    ds.
    “
    Guy
    s,comeandeat
    …”
    “
    Mama,
    arewegoi
    ngt
    otakeMal
    c?”
    “
    No,
    wear
    egoi
    ngt
    otakedaddy
    .Eat
    .”
    Thei
    nter
    com r
    ang.“
    Sit
    .”
    Iwalkedoutt
    henl ookedatthepoli
    cecaratthe
    gatewithafr
    own.Iwal kedbackinsi
    dethe
    housethengrabbedmyphoneanddi al
    edhim.
    “
    Oteng,
    thepol
    i
    cei
    sher
    e.I
    sev
    ery
    thi
    ngok?
    ”
    “
    Thepol
    i
    ce?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Theyar
    eatt
    hegat
    e.”
    “
    Openf
    ort
    hem.
    ”
    Ipressedthegat
    eremotewalki
    ngoutsi
    deand
    watchedthecarsdr
    ivei
    n.Thesteppedout
    togetherwit
    hsometrai
    neddogs.
    “Theyhavedogsandall
    .Thesoldi
    ersarehere
    alsotoget
    herwi
    ththeSpeci
    alSupportGroup.
    ”
    “Don’
    tpanic.Ther
    eisnot hi
    nginthehouse.
    Keepitcoolbabe.Youknownot hing,youhave
    nothi
    ngt ohi
    de.Behonestwi t
    hthem.Tel l
    them
    whateveryouknow,don’tkeepany t
    hingfr
    om
    them,theymaygetv i
    olentwit
    hyousobe
    honest.
    ”
    “
    Whatar
    eyousay
    ingOt
    eng?Iam pr
    egnant
    !”
    Thepol i
    ceapproached“Dumelang,
    mynamei s
    OtsileBai
    sago.Wehav easearchwarr
    anttogo
    throughthi
    splacethenfrom t
    hereweare
    takingyouin.
    ”
    “
    Forwhat
    ?”
    “Aswespeak, t
    heyaregoi
    ngtocol
    lectyour
    husbandandhei sgoi
    ngtobechar
    gedwi tha
    coupleofthi
    ngsandwearegoingtotakeyouin
    forquest
    ioni
    ngbecauseyouareasuspected
    accompli
    ce.”
    “
    What
    ?”
    Thecopl
    ookedback.“
    Let
    ’sst
    art
    !”
    Ihur
    ri
    edi
    nsi
    det
    hehouse.“
    Guy
    s,come.
    ”
    “
    Eazi
    …”
    Tear
    sfi
    l
    ledmyey
    es.“
    Otengwhat
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “Iam ontopofev
    ery
    thi
    ng.Theyar
    egr
    aspi
    ngat
    straws.
    ”
    "Theydon’
    tlookli
    kepeopl
    ewhoar egr
    aspi
    ngat
    str
    aws.Ican’tl
    oseyou,wecan’
    tlosey
    ou.We
    needyou!Ineedyou.”
    “
    Iknow,
    Iam ont
    opofi
    t.Don’
    tpani
    c.”
    Thecallcut
    .Ilookedatt
    hescreenandt
    ri
    ed
    cal
    li
    nghim backbutnumberwasnow
    unavai
    l
    able.Iquickl
    ycal
    l
    edLina.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Youar
    eatwor
    kal
    ready
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Idon’tknowwhat ’
    sgoingonbutt
    herear
    ecops
    alloverthehouse.Ihav
    et heki
    dswit
    hme.They
    ar
    etaki
    ngmei
    n.”
    “Ihaveacaseat10,
    Iwil
    lhavesomeonecome
    andcoll
    ecttheki
    dsandbri
    ngthem t
    othe
    offi
    ce.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Whyar
    etheyt
    aki
    ngy
    oui
    n?”
    “
    Asuspect
    edaccompl
    i
    ce.
    ”
    “
    Whatt
    hehecki
    sthat
    ?”
    “
    Idon’
    tknow.
    ”
    “
    Doy
    ouknowany
    thi
    ng?
    ”
    Il
    ookedatt
    heSpeci
    alSupoor
    tgroupmember
    st
    ari
    ngatmeholdi
    ngagun.“No.Nothi
    ng.
    ”
    “Eazi
    ,what
    every
    ousayhasapot
    ent
    ial
    topi
    n
    him down.
    ”
    “
    Not
    hing!
    ”
    “Ok.Goodt
    hen.Iam sendi
    ngsomeonef
    ort
    he
    kids.
    ”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    Ihungupandwat chedast heyt
    urnedthehouse
    upsi
    dedown.Awhi lel
    ateracardroveint
    hena
    l
    adywalkedinsi
    det hehouse.Shelookedatt
    he
    si
    tuat
    ionthenatme.
    “Hi
    ,Ihav
    ebeensentbyLi
    na.Iam Ar
    ona,
    her
    PA.
    ”
    “
    ThankGod!
    ”Il
    ookedatt
    heki
    ds.
    “Guys…auntyher
    eisgoingt
    ot akey
    outoaunt
    y
    Lina.Youar
    egoingtospendthedayather
    offi
    ce.
    “
    Whataboutdaddy
    ?”
    “
    Daddyhast
    ost
    aywi
    thMal
    cforal
    i
    ttl
    ewhi
    l
    e
    l
    onger
    .”
    Theywalkedoutwit
    hAronaj
    ustast
    hepol
    i
    ce
    off
    icerwal
    kedovertome.
    “
    Let
    ’sgo.
    ”
    “
    CanIf
    oll
    owwi
    thmycar
    ?Iam notexact
    ly
    ar
    rest
    edam I
    ?”
    “Youcanf
    oll
    owinyourcarbutwearegoingto
    surr
    oundyoui
    ncaseyouthinkyoucanrun.
    ”
    Iputonmyshoesandgr
    abbedmycarkey
    s
    thenwal
    kedoutt
    othegar
    agewher
    etheother
    carwasbesi
    demine.

    *
    **

    Atthepol
    icestati
    on,
    theyledmeinsi
    det
    he
    i
    nterr
    ogat
    ionroom.Adet ect
    icewal
    kedi
    nand
    l
    ookedatmewi t
    hasmi l
    e.
    “Hi
    ,wear
    esorr
    ytohavecomeanddr
    aggedy
    ou
    soear
    lyi
    nthemorni
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Whatgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “
    Yourhusbandhasbeenar
    rest
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Why
    ?”
    “Wef oundst ashesonmoney ,ofcocaineand
    gunsi nhiswar ehouse.Hecan’ tescapethat
    onebuty oucan.I t
    ’sei
    theryouar egoingto
    savey ourselforgodownwi thhi m.Iheary ou
    haveason, yourownson.Thi nkabouthi m, f
    or
    hist woki dshi sfamil
    ywi l
    ltaket hem in,what
    abouty ours?Youl ostyourpar entsandy our
    si
    st erst ayssof ar,wi
    thherki ndofwor kofli
    ne,
    willsheabl et otakecareofaboywhoi salmost
    ateenager ?Youwanty ourkidst ogrowup
    withoutbot hparentsbecauseasf oryour
    husband, hei sgoingdownf ort helongestti
    me
    ever .
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tknowwhaty
    ouar
    etal
    ki
    ngabout
    .”
    “Youknowthest oryaboutPabl oEscobar ?He
    wasadr uglor
    dandnar coterror
    istwhowast he
    founderofMedelli
    nCar tel,
    theydistributed
    cocaine,
    befor
    et hathest udiedbriefl
    ylikey our
    husbandbutleftwithoutgraduat i
    ngandi nstead
    star
    tedengagingincr i
    minal act
    ivi
    ties.Pabl o
    qui
    cklybecamet herichestmanj ustlikeyour
    husband.Hewasl atersent encedt ofiveyears
    i
    mpr i
    sonmentandl aterhedi edaf terescaping
    pri
    son,Hewaski ll
    edinhi shomet ownaday
    aft
    erhis44thbir
    thday .See?That ’swhat
    happenswheny oul i
    vet hi
    ski ndofl i
    fe,youend
    i
    npr i
    sonandy oudiet here.JustlikeOt eng.Do
    youwanttogodownwi thhi m.”
    “
    Idon’
    tknowany
    thi
    ng!
    ”
    “
    Youmustt
    hinkwear
    epl
    ayi
    ngher
    e.”
    “Idon’
    tknowany
    thi
    ng.Henev
    ert
    oldme
    anythi
    ng.
    ”
    “Sowher
    edidyout
    hinkal
    lthemoneywas
    comingf
    rom?”
    “
    Ihavebusi
    nesses!That
    ’swheremoneycomes
    f
    rom.Healsohasbusinessesandshar
    esin
    v
    ari
    ouscompaniesbecauseheisaninvest
    or!
    ”
    “Andwher
    edoeshegetthemoneytoi
    nvest
    anddoall
    hedoes?Letmetel
    lyousomethi
    ng.
    Yourhusbandisgoi
    ngdown, everyt
    hingofhis
    wil
    lbefrozen.Wearegoingtoclosehis
    busi
    nessesincl
    udi
    ngy ourst
    il
    lwear esurethat
    thebusi
    nessarenotconnectedtoany t
    hing.
    ”
    “
    Youcan’
    tdot
    hat
    !”
    “Wecan, howabouty oust arttalki
    ngsoy oucan
    savey oursel
    fandy ourbusi nesses.Iknowy ou
    areav erysuccessfulwoman, y ouarefr
    iends
    withAnay aMokwenawhi chisgr eatbut
    i
    magi newhaty oui sprisonisgoi ngtodof or
    yourbusiness.Youar egoi ngtogobackt o
    wherey oust ar
    ted.Youar egoi ngtoplai
    thair
    andwor ki ncoppiesjustli
    key ouwer edoing.I
    s
    thatwhaty ouwant ?”
    Tear
    sr andownmycheeks.“
    Idon’
    tknow
    anyt
    hing!
    ”
    “Didhet
    hreat
    eny
    ou?Wecanpr
    otecty
    ouf
    rom
    him.”
    “
    Idon’
    tknowany
    thi
    ng.IswearIdon’
    tknow
    any
    thi
    ng.
    ”
    “Youaregoi
    ngtogotopr
    isonf
    oral
    ongt
    ime!
    Doy ouknowthat
    ?”
    “Idon’
    tknowany t
    hingandIdi dn’
    tdoany t
    hing.
    Allmybusinessesarelegi
    t!Youhavenor ighttp
    closedownmybusi nessesbecausey ouhav e
    nothi
    ngonme!Youar ejustassuming.”
    “
    Thisi
    snotamov iewherey
    oucangetaway
    wi
    thit
    ,it
    ’snotf
    astandthef
    uri
    oui
    s,i
    t’
    sreal
    li
    fe.
    ”
    “Idon’
    tknowwhaty
    ouwantmet
    osay
    ,Idon’
    t
    knowany t
    hing.
    ”

    *
    **

    Ont
    heotherr
    oom Otengl
    enedbacksmi
    l
    ingat
    t
    hedet
    ecti
    vethenf
    oldedhi
    sarms.
    “
    Whatdoy
    ouhav
    eonmeagai
    n?”
    “
    Yourwar
    ehouse.Wehav
    eev
    ery
    thi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    ousur
    eyouar
    enotwast
    ingmyt
    ime?
    ”
    “
    Youar
    egoi
    ngdown.
    ”
    Hel
    aughed.“Forwhat
    ?Areyousurethat
    war
    ehouseisevenmineori
    t’
    sjustguess
    wor
    k?”
    “
    It
    ’sy
    our
    s,wehav
    eev
    ery
    thi
    ngweneed.
    ”
    “Ooh…great
    !Becauseifyoufi
    ndoutt
    hat
    nothi
    ngyougotisreal
    ,Iam goi
    ngtofuck
    somebodyup.”Heleanedoverwhi
    speri
    ng.“
    And
    that’
    sapromise!
    ”
    Hel
    eanedbackwit
    hasmir
    kthenl
    aughed.
    “
    Rel
    ax!Iam j
    oki
    ng!I
    t’
    saj
    oke!
    ”
    “
    Yout
    hinky
    ouar
    ebei
    ngf
    unny
    ?”
    “
    Trev
    orNoahgotnothi
    ngonme!IcanputBot
    s
    i
    nthemap,Iam goodai
    n’
    tI?
    ”
    “Youaregoi
    ngt
    ojai
    lforthel
    ongestti
    meever
    ,
    butyouknowaconf
    essionfr
    om yourwif
    ewil
    l
    becherr
    yontop.Sheisboundtocrackandgi
    ve
    somethi
    ng.Anyt
    hingandthat
    'sal
    lweneed.”
    Otengnodded.“Ok.Whyisthisbori
    ng?Ialway
    s
    i
    magi neditwoul
    dbefine.Butit
    ’sAfr
    ica!What
    doy ouexpect
    ?”
    Thedetecti
    vewal
    kedoutandl
    ookedathi
    s
    col
    leagues.
    “
    Enehewon’
    tsayany
    thi
    ng,
    howi
    sitgoi
    ngwi
    th
    t
    hewif
    e?”
    “Apparent
    lyshei
    ssay
    ingshedoesn’
    tknow
    anythi
    ng.”
    “Mothoowai t
    se!Shei sjustscaredort hinks
    shewi l
    lhol
    ditinforherhusband.Shewi lltal
    k,
    j
    ustneedsomemor epressure.Asf orOteng, he
    i
    sgoi ngdown.Wehav eenoughev idencet o
    sendhim awayandal sot hatmant hatwashel d
    hostageisal
    sosomet hingv eryuseful.Ican’t
    beli
    veIhavefinal
    lycaughthi m.Aret heystil
    l
    test
    ingevery
    thingwegot ? ”
    Ayoungdetect
    ivenodded.“ Yeah.Butknowing
    hi
    m, i
    tmightbefake.Itwon’tbethef i
    rstt
    ime
    hedoessomethingli
    ket hi
    s,sendsy outochase
    ghost
    swhileheclearshisthingsup.”
    “No,
    thi
    stimewegothim.Wegott hemoney,
    wegottheguns,
    Itouchedthose,
    theyar
    ereal
    .
    Themoneyalsowasreal.
    ”
    “Itlooksrealbuti
    si t?Don’
    tforgetthatthisguy
    i
    ssmar t.Theydon’tcallhi
    mi nvi
    nciblefor
    not hi
    ng.Hei ssmar tandisal
    way stwost eps
    ahead.Hei snotevenscaredi nthere,heis
    relaxed.Hiswifeisnotlett
    ingupandIam
    tell
    ingy ou,t
    hatwomandoesn’ tknowany thing.I
    canseei tonhereyes.Whywoul dheber elaxed
    i
    fsheknewsomet hing?Hehasn’ tev ensenta
    l
    awy erherwaytor escueher.
    ”
    “Youarest
    il
    lnewtothi
    stounder st
    and.He
    wantsustobeli
    evewhatwehav eisnotreal
    so
    wecanchasewhatisnot.Thatiswhat
    happenedt
    helastti
    meandt hi
    stimearoundwe
    gothi
    m wher
    ewewanthi
    m.”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #117

    Laterthatdayatt hecli
    nic,
    Reneil
    westepped
    outstealingglanceatherwat ch,
    shepull
    ed
    downherf or
    mal skir
    tandmadeherwayt oher
    carholdingherhandbag.Shegoti nt
    henlooked
    atthepill
    sasherphoner ang.
    “Whatdoy
    ouwant
    ?Di
    dn’
    tIt
    ell
    youwear
    e
    done?”
    “
    Okae?
    ”
    “
    Abe-
    “
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “Idon’
    tanswertoyou.Pl
    easel
    eavemeal
    one.I
    am notgoingt
    of or
    cemyselfi
    ntoa
    rel
    ati
    onshi
    p.”
    “
    Iwantmychi
    l
    d.”
    “Iam al
    readyaborti
    ngi
    t.GoandwaitforEazi
    til
    l
    shecomesback.Iam notgoingtosettl
    efor
    l
    essany more.IknowwhatIdeserv
    eandIam
    notscaredtowalkoutofsi
    tuat
    ionsli
    kethi
    s
    one.”
    “Ar
    ey ouli
    steni
    ngt
    oyoursel
    fri
    ghtnow?Whydo
    Igetafeel
    ingyoual
    wayscommi tabor
    ti
    ons?
    ”
    “
    Iam notgoi
    ngt
    obeasi
    ngl
    emot
    her
    ,for
    geti
    t.
    ”
    “
    Ifyouabortmychi
    l
    d,y
    ouar
    egoi
    ngt
    oknowme
    t
    rustme.”
    “Youar
    egoingt
    oat t
    emptkill
    i
    ngmel ikeyou
    att
    emptedt
    okil
    lEazi?Youdon’tknowme!Iam
    notst
    upidl
    i
    keEazi.Stayawayfrom me.You
    andIhav
    enot
    hingt
    odi
    scuss.
    ”
    Shehungupandclickedhert
    onguedel
    eti
    nghi
    s
    number.Sheputonhersungl
    assesanddr
    ove
    away.

    *
    **

    Abelookedathisphoneseat
    edinhisoffice
    del
    iber
    ati
    ngonwhet hert
    ocallherornot.His
    phonerangthenhegrabbedi
    tandst ar
    edathi s
    fat
    her’
    scall
    forawhile.
    “
    Yah?
    ”
    “Comehome,youruncl
    esarehere,
    wear
    e
    goingt
    odi
    scussawayf or
    ward.”
    “
    Eer
    ra.
    ”
    “
    Comenow,youknockedof
    f.Iwanty
    oual
    l
    t
    hreei
    nanhouri
    nmyhouse.”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Hi
    sfat
    herhungupj
    ustashi
    sPAwal
    kedi
    n.
    “
    YoucangoNi
    sha,
    Iam al
    soknocki
    ngof
    f.
    ”
    “
    Yessir
    ,Ihavesenttheemai
    l
    stoal
    lthe
    r
    equest
    edindiv
    idual
    s.”
    Hel ookedathernot i
    cingjusthowf arshestood,
    wasshest i
    ll
    shyorwasi tj
    usthim.Herhai rwas
    ti
    redintoaneatbuni nt hemiddleofherhead
    andshewor eherformal bl
    uedr essthat
    showedhercur ves.Thei nnocenceinherey es
    wasn’thardtomi ss.“Thanks.Youar edoinga
    greatjob,howoldar ey ouagain?”
    “
    24si
    r.
    ”
    Henodded.“
    Ok,
    youcango.Thanksagai
    n.”
    Shet ur
    nedandwal kedawayclosi
    ngthedoor
    behindher.Hedial
    edRenei l
    webuthernumber
    sti
    l
    lwasn’tgoingthrough.Hestar
    tedt
    ot y
    pea
    messagebutt henstoppedhalf
    wayanddel et
    ed
    themessagethensl
    idthephoneinhi
    spocket
    andwalkedoutwit
    hhisbelongi
    ngs.
    Hegotinhishi
    scaranddr ov
    eawaybutt hen
    sl
    oweddownseei ngNishawalkdownt heroad
    goingtot
    hebusst opnowinherfl
    ats.He
    stoppedt
    hecarrolli
    ngdownhiswindow.
    “
    Geti
    n!Iwi
    l
    ldr
    opy
    ouof
    f.
    ”
    Ni
    shaopenedt
    hecardoorandj
    umpedi
    n.
    “
    Thankyousi
    r.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    edoy
    oust
    ay?
    ”
    “
    Block3.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Her
    ejoi
    nedt
    her
    oadcal
    l
    inghi
    sbr
    other
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Didy
    oual
    sogetcal
    l
    ed?
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    kebat
    lagony
    ala.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    ouser
    iousr
    ightnow?
    ”
    “Yeah,
    wewentt ocoll
    ectJuni
    orfr
    om
    Phemelo’smotherandhonest
    lyshesai
    d
    somethingt
    hatcli
    ckedtome.Iam toool
    dtobe
    call
    edaboyfr
    iend.”
    “
    Yout
    hinkshei
    stheone?
    ”
    “Yeah.Shei
    s.Wehavebeent
    alki
    ngaboutt
    his
    andIthinki
    t’
    saboutt
    ime.
    ”
    “
    Iam pr
    oudofy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Howi
    sitgoi
    ngwi
    tht
    hePr
    incess?
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sov
    er.
    ”
    “
    Why
    ?”
    “
    Wewi
    l
    ltal
    kwhenwegett
    her
    e.”
    “
    Ok,
    Iam al
    readyonmyway
    .”
    “
    Sur
    e.”
    Hehungupdr iv
    ingtoblock3.Awhi
    lelat
    er
    Nishadi
    rect
    edhi mti
    ll
    hehadparkedinfr
    ontof
    heronebedroom apar
    tment.
    “
    Thanky
    ouSi
    r.
    ”
    “
    Youst
    ayal
    one?
    ”
    “
    Yessi
    r.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    oui
    nar
    elat
    ionshi
    p?”
    Shel
    ookedathi
    m.“
    Sir
    ?”
    “
    Arey
    ouf
    ucki
    ngsomeone?
    ”
    Shel
    ookeddown.“
    Iam i
    nar
    elat
    ionshi
    p.”
    “
    Wit
    hwho?
    ”
    “
    Rra?
    ”
    “
    Youhear
    dme.
    ”
    “
    Him.
    ”
    Shepoi
    nted.Abelookedatthemanwalki
    ng
    wit
    hasmal lchoppi
    esplast
    icbag.“
    Him?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Iam gi
    vi
    ngy ouaweektobreakitof
    f.
    ”He
    l
    eanedoverandki
    ssedherwhil
    eherhear
    t
    pounded.“
    Goandbr
    eakupwi
    thhi
    m.Go.
    ”
    Sheslowlyst
    eppedoutthenst
    oodst i
    ll
    confusedashedrov
    eaway .Ti
    fanolookedat
    theblackBMW M6drivi
    ngawayt hentur
    nedto
    Nisha.
    “
    Whowast
    hat
    ?”
    “
    Myboss.
    ”
    “
    Yourbossnowdr
    opsy
    ouof
    faty
    ourhouse?
    ”
    “
    Hewasbei
    ngni
    ce.
    ”
    “
    Whatki
    ndofbossi
    sthat
    ?”
    “
    Hei
    sjustni
    ce.
    ”
    “
    Orhewant
    stogeti
    ntoy
    ourpant
    s.”
    “
    Tif
    anoIdon’twanttof
    ightwi
    thy
    ou.Iam t
    ir
    ed,
    myheadisaching.
    ”
    Helookedatt
    heBM t
    ail
    li
    ght
    sdi
    sapear
    ingand
    sadl
    ystar
    edather
    .
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    Shesighed.“
    Iloveyout
    ooandIam not
    cheat
    ing.Cany oust
    opi
    t?”
    Henoddedt
    hensmi
    l
    ed.“
    Iboughty
    ousome
    snacks.
    ”
    Nishagottheplast
    icandlookedatSimbachi
    ps
    i
    nside,apacketofsweets,aCadburymint
    chocolat
    eandacoupl emor et
    hings.Hetook
    outhiswall
    etthengaveherP200.
    “
    Fory
    ourhai
    r.
    ”
    Ni
    shasmi
    l
    ed.“
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Tif
    anotookherhandbagast
    heywal
    kedi
    nsi
    de
    thegat
    etoherapartment
    .

    *
    **

    Atthepoli
    cestat
    ion,
    Iwalkedoutwit
    hthe
    l
    awy erhol
    dingmybelongi
    ngs.Heledmetomy
    car
    .
    “
    Arey
    ouok?
    ”
    “
    Iam ok.Wher
    eishe?
    ”
    “
    Hei
    sst
    il
    li
    nsi
    de.
    ”
    “
    What
    ’shappeni
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Eazi
    ,It
    hinky
    oushoul
    dwai
    tforhi
    m.”
    “
    Ineedt
    oknow!Ideser
    vet
    oknow!
    ”
    Helookedatme.“ Theyhavethewarehouse.
    Butthat
    ’snotanissue.Iknowheisont opof
    ever
    ythi
    ng.Look,Ionlyknowwhathet el
    lsme
    andIli
    kethatwaybecauset hatwayItooIam
    noti
    ndanger.Ionlyknowaf ewthingshetel
    ls
    me.”
    Inodded.“
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Youdi
    dn’
    tsayany
    thi
    ngdi
    dyou?
    ”
    Il
    ookedathim andswal
    l
    owedhar
    dthenshook
    myhead.“No.”
    “
    Ok,
    lethi
    m deal
    wit
    hit
    .”
    At
    earr
    andownmycheek.“
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Don’
    tcr
    y,hegott
    his.
    ”
    “
    Ijustwantt
    oli
    veanor
    mal
    li
    fe.
    ”
    “
    WellEazi
    ,whenyouchosetomar r
    yt hi
    sman
    t
    hisi
    swhatyousignedupfor.Ev
    eni fhequi
    ts,
    t
    hiswil
    lal
    waysfol
    lowyouaround.”
    Iputmyhandsonmyf
    acecr
    ying.“
    Iwanta
    peacef
    ull
    i
    fe.
    ”
    Heunlockedmycarandhuggedmet i
    ll
    Ikept
    qui
    et.Hesteppedbackandshr
    ugged.“
    Divor
    ce
    hi
    mt hen.Haveagoodday.”
    Iunlockedmycarandgoti
    njustasmyphone
    rang.
    “
    Lina…”
    “Hey
    ,Igott
    heki
    dsatt
    hehospi
    tal
    ,Mal
    cis
    awake.
    ”
    Myhear
    tski
    pped.“
    Hei
    s?!
    ”
    “Yes.Heconstant
    lyhast
    ouset
    heoxy
    genmask
    butheisfi
    ne.”
    “
    Iam comi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Howdi
    ditgo?Iwant
    edtocomebutOt
    eng’
    s
    l
    awy
    erwasalr
    eadyontopofi
    t.
    ”
    “
    Iknow,
    Ihear
    d,t
    hanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Theygotnot
    hing?
    ”
    Tear
    sfi
    l
    ledmyey
    es.
    “
    Eazi
    !
    ”
    Ir
    ubbedmyst
    omachatt
    hesl
    i
    ghtpai
    n.
    “
    Whatdi
    dyoudo?
    ”
    “
    Not
    hing.
    ”
    “
    Thenwhat
    ’swr
    ong?
    ”
    “
    Not
    hing.Iam comi
    ngt
    her
    e.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Ist
    art
    edt
    hecart
    hendr
    ovet
    othehospi
    tal
    .
    *
    **

    Meanwhi
    lethepoli
    ceoff
    icerl
    ookedatOteng
    whonowlookedpissednow.Thedetect
    ive
    wal
    kedbackintheroom.
    “
    Ok,sincey
    ouwon’
    ttal
    kwear
    etaki
    ngy
    out
    o
    j
    ail
    .”
    “
    Onwhatgr ounds?Ar
    eyouf
    ucki
    ngwi
    thme
    r
    ightnow?
    ”
    “
    Expl
    ainthemoneyt
    hatwasi
    nyour
    war
    ehouse.”
    Apoli
    ceoff
    icerwalkedi nandwhispered
    somethi
    ngtothedet ecti
    vewhowal kedout
    .A
    whil
    elat
    ert
    hedet ectiv
    ewal kedbackinandsat
    opposi
    tehi
    m defeated.
    “
    Youareasourloser
    ,ar
    eyousti
    l
    langrythatI
    f
    uckedyourwi
    feanddaught
    er?Honestyther
    e
    wasnot
    hingspei
    cal
    aboutt
    hem.
    ”
    Thedetecti
    veangrilyl
    ookedathi m.“Itouched
    thosegunsandt heywerer eal
    .Ever
    ythingwas
    real
    .Eery
    thingwasr eal
    ,Itouchedit
    !Youdi dn’t
    getawaywi thanythi
    ng.Youar egoi
    ngt o
    explai
    ntothecourtwhaty ouwer edoingwi t
    h
    fakeUSdollars.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sUSdoll
    ars,maybeifitwer
    eourcur
    rency
    .
    What’
    stheworstthatcanhappent
    ome? ”
    “Wearegoingtoconfiscateyourgadget sanda
    coupl
    emor ethi
    ngs.Youmi ghthavegot ten
    awaywithmostt odaybutnowIknowf orsure
    someoneiswor ki
    ngfory oufrom theinsideand
    nextt
    imey ouwon’tbethislucky.Thest ateis
    fr
    eezi
    ngallyouraccountsasf urt
    her
    i
    nvest
    igati
    onstakeplace.Allyourbusinesses
    wil
    lbeshutdownwi thimmedi ateeefect.”
    Otengsmi
    led.“
    Ihavenobusi
    nessesi
    nmy
    name.Goandcheck,Ar
    eyoulett
    ingmegoor
    what
    ?”
    “Youar egoingdownoneday ,i
    t’
    snotat hr
    eat,
    butapr omise.Ormay bet heywillkil
    lyou,
    you
    knowt hesay i
    ng.Youl ivebyt heswor danddie
    bytheswor d.Ormay beitwon’ tbey ouwho
    diesbutrathery ourdearwi fe.Youhav ehurta
    l
    otofpeopl e.Theywi llhi
    ty ouwher eithurt
    sthe
    most .Youwi l
    lnev erhealfrom thegr i
    efof
    l
    osingherandt hegui l
    tofknowi ngy ouarethe
    reasonshei sdeadwi l
    lslowlykill
    y ou.
    ”
    “Whatdoy ouwantfr
    om me?Anapol ogy?Iam
    sorr
    yIfuckedyourf
    amil
    y.Itwaslongback,how
    thefuckdoyouholdagrudgeforyears?
    ”
    Thedet ecti
    vegotupandshookhi shead.“You
    heardme, youknowIam r i
    ght.It
    ’sonl
    yamat ter
    oftimet i
    ll
    sheory ourkidshavet opayforyour
    sins.Foryourkidsit’
    sli
    keacur sehavingyou
    foraf at
    herbutforyourwifetheonl ymist
    ake
    shedi dwast oactuall
    yloveyou.”
    “Letmego, wher
    edidt
    heper
    sony
    ousayI
    kidnappedgobytheway?
    ”
    Thedetecti
    veshookhisheadandwal
    kedout
    .A
    whil
    elaterOtengwal
    kedoutdial
    i
    ngEazi
    .
    “
    Oteng?
    ”
    “
    Heymama…”
    Shebrokedowncr
    ying.“
    Hey
    ,don’
    tcr
    y.Wher
    e
    arey
    ou? ”
    “
    Att
    hehospi
    tal
    .Mal
    cisawake.
    ”
    “
    Iam comi
    ng.Ar
    eyouok?
    ”
    “
    Iam f
    ine.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    our
    eal
    l
    ypr
    egnant
    ?”
    “
    Ng…”
    Hesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Arey
    ousur
    e?”
    “
    Yes.3mont
    hs.
    ”
    “
    Iam comi
    ng.Il
    ovey
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    Hehungupthenwalkedovert
    oPenny’scarand
    j
    umpedin.Shel
    ookedathimthenstar
    tedthe
    engi
    neanddrov
    efrom thepol
    i
    cestati
    on.
    “
    Takemewher
    eMal
    cis.
    ”
    “
    Howi
    she?
    ”
    “
    Hei
    sawake.
    ”
    Pennyl
    ookedathi
    m.“
    Hei
    s?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.I
    -“
    “
    Iam goi
    ngtodeal
    withthatbutnottoday
    .Just
    t
    akemetothehospit
    al.Wewillt
    alk.
    ”
    Awhi l
    elat
    ershepar kedthecart
    henwat
    ched
    hi
    sbr ot
    herstepout.Barr
    ycall
    edasshe
    watcheddisappearbetweenthecar
    s.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Whatdi
    dhesay
    ?”
    “
    Not
    hing,
    sai
    dwewi
    l
    ltal
    k.”
    “
    Ok.Comehome.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Shedrov
    ebackt
    oBarr
    y’shouseandparked
    thenwal
    kedi
    nsi
    det
    hehouse.Hesmiledather
    .
    “
    Hey
    …Iam donecooki
    ng.
    ”
    Pennysmi
    l
    ed.“
    Toni
    ghtIcaneat
    ,Mal
    col
    mis
    awake.
    ”
    “Thatsmal
    lguyi
    ssosmar t
    .Iam notsur
    pri
    sed
    heactual
    l
    ysurvi
    vedt
    his.
    ”
    “Heis,
    Malct
    alkst
    omeli
    keamucholder
    per
    sonandhemakessomuchsenseunl
    esshe
    i
    sjustbei
    ngMalc.
    ”
    Bar
    rysmiledthenwal kedov ertoherandsmi led.
    Shesmil
    edback, Barryleanedov erandgent l
    y
    ki
    ssedher.Pennyputherhandonhi schest
    ki
    ssi
    nghim backwhi leherhear tpoundedso
    muchitcouldjustescapet hroughherribcage.
    Bar
    ryst
    eppedbackwi
    thasmi
    l
    e.
    “
    Iknowi
    t’
    swr
    ongt
    ofeel
    whatIf
    eel
    butIl
    ove
    y
    ou.”
    “
    Otengwi
    l
    l-“
    “
    Wewi
    l
    ldeal
    wit
    hitwheni
    tget
    stot
    hat
    .”
    “
    Nooneisev
    ergoingt
    oapprove,
    sameway
    t
    heywoul
    dn’
    thav
    ehadEazibeenoneofus.
    ”
    “
    Wewi
    l
    lsee.
    ”

    *
    **

    Atthehospit
    al,Ismil
    edasOtengwalkedi
    nthe
    room,hetookof fhi
    scapst
    aringatal
    lofus.
    Malctookofftheoxygenmask.
    “
    Whatt
    ooky
    ousol
    ong?
    ”
    Otengsmil
    edthenwal
    kedov
    erandhuggedhi
    m.
    “Heybuddy
    !”
    “Ar
    ewegoi
    ngt
    otr
    avel
    toget
    herl
    i
    keusual
    now?”
    Helaughed.“
    Yeah,Iguesswehav
    etot
    akey
    ou
    wi
    th!Howar eyoudoing?”
    Mal
    col
    m putbackt
    heoxy
    genmaskanddi
    da
    t
    humbsup.
    “
    That
    ’smyboy
    !Iam her
    e,ev
    ery
    onei
    ssaf
    e.”
    “
    Met
    oodaddy
    ?”
    Ot
    engl
    ookedatAl
    ana.“
    Yeahy
    out
    oopr
    incess.
    ”
    “
    Whataboutmedaddy
    ?”
    “
    Yout
    oomyqueen!
    ”
    Ky
    ragi
    ggl
    ed,
    Otengt
    urnedt
    ome.“
    Yout
    oo
    mama…”
    “Iwassoscared.Theykeptthr
    eateni
    ngme.I
    knowthisi
    swhatIsi gnedupforbutcan’
    tyou
    j
    ustquitwhat
    ev eri
    tisyoudo?”
    Hepul
    l
    edmei
    nhi
    sar
    msandki
    ssedmyneck
    soft
    lyupmyjawt
    henmylips.“
    Iwantt
    otelly
    ou
    somethi
    ng,
    behonestwi
    thyou…canIdothat
    babe?”
    Il
    ookedathi
    m wi
    thapoundi
    nghear
    t.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #118

    Otengcuppedmyfacest
    ari
    ngi
    ntomyeyes,
    he
    l
    eanedoverandki
    ssedmethensmi
    led.
    “Iam sorr
    yaboutwhathappenedtoday,
    I
    alwaysknewtherewasachanceofi t
    happeningbutwhathappenedwasnothowI
    hadpictur
    edit.NowIknowIdon’twantyout
    o
    evergot hr ought hisev eragai n.Idon’ twanty ou
    i
    nsuchaposi tionev eragai n.Imadeachoi ce
    l
    ongbef oreImety oubecauseIdi dn’ tthinkI
    woul dact uall
    ymeety ou.Inev erknewIwoul d
    meetawomanwhowoul dbeashowst opperin
    myl if
    e,giv emet wobeaut if
    ul kidsandanot her
    ont heway .Youar eanangel inmyl i
    feand
    everydayIwakeupwant ingt obebet ter,Iam
    reall
    ytrying.Iknowt hisi snott hel ifey ouwant ,
    thi
    si salsonott hel i
    feIwantany mor ebecause
    nowIhav eawi feandki ds,Ihav epeopl ewho
    l
    ookupt omeandexpectbet ter.Mal cisal most
    ateenagerandhei sgr owing, Iam af at her
    fi
    gur etohi m andIdon’ twanthi mt omaket he
    samedeci sionsImade.Iwanthi mt ohav ea
    betterfuturewhi chhasusbot h.Iwantabet ter
    futureforKy rat oo,forAl anaandt hi soneon
    theway .Iwantagoodst ablelifef ory ou.Iam
    sorrythatmyl i
    fechoi cesar eaf fect i
    ngy outoo,
    thatsomehowt heyar ealsoaf f
    ect ingourki ds.
    ButIpr omi seyou, Iam wor kingoni t
    .Iam my
    ownman, Iam notingangwher eIcan’
    tjust
    l
    eav e,
    Iam justtraderandassoonas
    everyt
    hingisclearedup,Iam done,f
    orgood.I
    l
    ov eyoubabe.”
    Tearsr
    andownmycheeks.Hewi
    pedthem
    thenki
    ssedme.“
    Thi
    soneseemstol
    ove
    cryi
    ng.
    ”
    Ismackedhi
    sshoul
    derpl
    ayf
    ull
    ylaughi
    ng.
    “Leav
    emealone.
    ”
    “
    Didy
    oueat
    ?”
    “
    No.
    ”
    “
    Whatdi
    dMal
    c’
    sdoct
    orsay
    ?”
    “
    Thatshei
    skeepi
    nghi
    m.”
    Myphoner
    ang,
    Alanawal
    kedov
    erandhanded
    i
    ttome.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    MsM, therei
    sapackageher
    ef ory
    ou,
    shoul
    d
    wehav
    ei tdel
    i
    ver
    edatyourhouse?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Car
    olwi
    llbr
    ingitt
    ogetherwi
    tht
    hereport
    syou
    needtol
    ookinto.Wil
    lyoubei
    ntomorrow?”
    Ichuckl
    ed.“
    Iam honey
    mooning,
    justbecauseI
    am backdoesn’
    tmeanIhav
    et obecomi ng.
    ”
    Shelaughed.“
    Iknow,Iheardaboutyourki
    ds,I
    hopetheyarewellandcongrat
    ulat
    ionsonyour
    wedding.
    ”
    “Thankyouandt
    heki
    dswi
    l
    lbef
    ine.Iam
    posit
    ive.
    ”
    “Wegotyousomet
    hingasaweddi
    ngpr
    esent
    .
    Car
    olwil
    lbri
    ngi
    tal
    l.
    ”
    “
    ThanksSel
    etso,
    Iappr
    eci
    atey
    oual
    l
    .”
    “
    No,
    weappr
    eci
    atey
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Bye!
    ”
    IhungupandlookedatOtengwhowas
    l
    ist
    eningtoMalcol
    m nar
    rati
    ngwhathad
    happened.Hegavehi
    m afistbump.
    “That
    ’smyboy!Iam goi
    ngtodosomething
    nicefory
    ou.Il
    ovesmartpeopl
    ewhothinkfast
    .
    Ok,Iam goi
    ngtogetusfood.
    ”Hetur
    nedt ome.
    “Whatshoul
    dIget?”
    “Iam cr
    avi
    ngsomepizza.Getmet
    hatt
    hen
    passbyNayarest
    aur
    antandgetafami
    lymeal
    .”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Heki
    ssedmeasIhandedhi
    mthecarkey
    s.
    “
    It
    ’si
    nthef
    ront
    .Youwi
    l
    lseei
    t.
    ”
    “
    Ok.Il
    ovey
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    Hewal
    kedout
    .

    *
    **

    Otengpressedthekey
    sthenthecarbeeped.He
    walkedovertaki
    ngouthi
    sri
    ngingphone.
    “
    Papa…”
    “
    Whatam Ihear
    ing?Youhav
    ebeenar
    rest
    ed
    t
    oget
    herwit
    hEazi?”
    “
    Itwasj
    ustquest
    ioni
    ng.Theyt
    houghtt
    heygot
    me.”
    “
    Sot
    heydi
    dn’
    t?”
    “
    No.
    ”
    “Tel
    lme,howlongdoy
    out
    hinky
    ouwi
    l
    lkeepup
    gett
    ingaway
    ?”
    “
    Notf
    orl
    ongt
    hat
    ’swhyIam qui
    tt
    ing.
    ”
    “Youalwayssaythat.Doy
    ouseewhatyouare
    doingtoyourfamil
    ynow?Toyourwi
    fe?Sheis
    goingtoleav
    ebecausenowomanwoul dst
    ay
    forthi
    s.”
    “Iam ser
    ioust
    hist
    imear
    ound.Ij
    ustf
    ini
    shed
    dispat
    chi
    ngwhatIhadandnowIam ti
    ghteni
    ng
    l
    oseends. ”
    “
    Liv
    east
    rai
    ghtl
    i
    fe,
    Iknowal
    lthi
    sisaddi
    cti
    ve
    butl
    i
    veastrai
    ghtli
    fe.Youwill
    got ojai
    landthat
    womanisnotgoingtowaitforyou.Shewill
    moveonanditwill
    bel i
    keyouneverexist
    ed.”
    “
    Iam notgoi
    ngt
    ojai
    lbecauseIam qui
    tt
    ing.
    ”
    “
    IhopesobecauseIdon’
    tli
    kethi
    s.Soonev
    en
    t
    hekidswi
    ll
    bedr aggedi
    ntoi
    t.
    ”
    “
    Iam donewi
    tht
    hatl
    i
    fe.Iswear
    .”
    “
    That
    ’swhatIwantt
    ohear
    .Howar
    etheki
    ds?
    ”
    “
    Fine,
    Mal
    cisawake.
    ”
    “
    Good.Idon’
    tevenunderstandhowaf ull
    grown
    womanwouldleavechi
    ldrenalonetogoandbe
    wi
    thaman.Sheshouldbeget tingmarr
    ied!”
    “Idon’
    thav
    eenergyf
    orher.Ri
    ghtnowIwant
    nothi
    ngtodowit
    hher.Shealmostki
    l
    ledal
    lmy
    kids.
    ”
    “Ial
    sosuggestwediscussthiswhenever
    yone
    i
    scalm.Ialsowantedtotell
    youtobri
    ngthe
    kidstomeduringhol
    idays.I
    tgetsl
    onel
    ywhenI
    am al
    lal
    one,
    theyar
    efunandl
    oudt
    ohav
    e
    ar
    ound.”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lbr
    ingt
    hem.
    ”
    “
    Okson.
    ”
    Otenghungupanddr ov
    eaway.Hisphonerang
    againasheparkedbyDebonai
    rs.Heanswered
    theunsavednumber.
    “
    Yah?
    ”
    “
    Otenghel
    pme!
    ”
    “
    Ell
    en?
    ”
    “
    Hei
    ski
    l
    li
    ngme.Hel
    pme!
    ”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “Iam home.Heisbeati
    ngme, Iam bl
    eeding,
    somet hi
    ngi
    swr ong,
    Iam hav
    ingcont r
    act
    ions
    butit
    ’snotyett
    ime.Hewantst oki
    l
    l me.Please
    helpme.”
    “
    Iam comi
    ng,
    cal
    lthepol
    i
    ce.What
    ’st
    he
    addr
    ess?
    ”

    *
    **

    AtEll
    en’shouse,Otengparkedhi scarthen
    openedthegat eandrushedtowar dsthedoor
    wherehecoul dhearEll
    en’
    scriesf orhel
    p.He
    tri
    edopeningthedoorbutitwasl ocked,he
    thoughtf
    ull
    ythoughtofbursti
    ngt hedoorwi tha
    gunbutthenthatwoul donl
    ygethi mi ntrouble.
    Apolicecardroveinjustt
    hent heywalkedov er.
    “
    Dumel
    ang…”
    “
    Shei
    scr
    yingf
    orhel
    p!Cany
    ougetherout
    ?”
    Oneofthepol
    i
    ceoffi
    cert
    ri
    edopeni
    ngthedoor
    ,
    Otengwal
    kedroundt
    hehousecal
    li
    ngEll
    en.
    “Ot
    enghel
    pme!Hei
    sbr
    eaki
    ngt
    hebat
    hroom
    door
    .Hewant
    stoki
    l
    lme.
    ”
    “
    Iam her
    ebutt
    hedoori
    slocked.
    ”
    “Ther
    earesparekeysIalwayskeepatt
    heback
    ofthehouseunderastone.
    ”
    Hewentovert
    othebackandl
    i
    ftedt
    hest
    one
    andgott
    hekeys.
    “
    Igott
    hem.
    ”
    “
    Hur
    ry!
    ”
    Hehurriedtothefrontdoorwher ethepoli
    ce
    wastryingtotal
    kt oEll
    en’shusbandf r
    om
    outsi
    depleadingwi t
    hhim.Ot engunlockedthe
    doorandr ushedintothebedr oom where
    El
    len’
    shusbandwashi tt
    ingthedoorwi thanaxe.
    Hepulledhim backandpunchedhi m.
    “
    Obat
    agoi
    rangnemonna?
    ”
    El
    l
    en’
    shusbandgotup.“
    Shei
    scheat
    ing!
    ”
    Otengounchedhi
    m agai
    nthenthepol
    icepul
    led
    hi
    m back.“Otaswabaomar et
    e!Thi
    sisthe
    l
    astti
    mey ouareseei
    ngher.
    ”
    “
    Ify
    out
    aket
    hel
    awi
    ntoy
    ourownhandsy
    ouwi
    l
    l
    got
    ojai
    lwi
    thhi
    m.”
    Otengangr i
    lylookedatt hepoli
    ceoffi
    cer.
    “Hadn’ ttherebeenspar ekeys,howwer eyou
    planningt ogetherout ?Ot anyelat
    hemonna,
    war eng?Whatt heheckdoy oumeanifItake
    thel awintomyownhandsIwi l
    lgotojail
    ?He
    wasgoi ngtoki l
    lherandy ouwerejustgoingt
    o
    standt herelikeaf oolyouareandyout hi
    nkyou
    havet her i
    ghtt otell
    meIwi llgotoj
    ail
    .Ifi
    t
    wasn’ tforthatuniform Iwasgoingtotakeout
    yourf rontteeth.Nxla!”
    Ell
    enwalkedoutofthebat
    hroom gr
    untingt
    hen
    Otenghurri
    edover
    .“Thebabyiscoming.Ot
    eng
    thebaby…”
    Hepi
    ckedherupwhi
    l
    eshecr
    iedgr
    unt
    ing.
    “Sheisher
    e,putmedown…shei
    sher
    e…If
    eel
    her.
    ”
    Hepl
    acedheront
    hecouchthenshegrabbed
    hi
    st-
    shi
    rtscr
    eami
    ngpushi
    ng.Helookedoverat
    oneoft
    hepol
    i
    ceof
    fi
    cerwhowasst
    andi
    ngst
    il
    l.
    “Heywena!Callt
    heambulance!Kantel
    eri
    l
    eng?
    Youchasearoundnothi
    ngtheentir
    edayand
    whenit’
    sti
    mef oryoutoact
    uall
    ydosomet hi
    ng
    youstandst
    il
    l.
    ”
    El
    lenpushedonelastti
    methenthebabysli
    d
    outcover
    edwi t
    hblood.Ot
    englookedatt
    he
    babythentookherinhi
    sarmsbutshewas
    si
    lent
    .
    “
    Oteng…shei
    ssupposedt
    ocr
    y…”

    *
    **

    Li
    naworkedontomor r
    ow’scasesi
    tt
    inginher
    of
    fi
    ce.HerdooropenedthenTanwalkedin.
    “
    Hey
    ,canwet
    alk?
    ”
    Sher
    aisedherheadandl
    ookedathi
    m.“
    What
    ?”
    “
    IhavetogotoMaunbutIdon’
    twantt
    oleav
    e
    whi
    lethi
    ngsar
    eli
    kethi
    sbabe.”
    “
    Youcango.If
    orgav
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Youdi
    d?”
    Shenodded.“
    Yes.If
    orgav
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Sosoon?
    ”
    “
    What
    ?Youwantmet
    obeangr
    y?”
    “
    Yes,
    youcan’
    tjustsayy
    ouf
    orgi
    veme.
    ”
    “
    ButIdo.
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tbel
    i
    evet
    hat
    .”
    “
    ThenIdon’
    tknowwhaty
    ouwantmet
    odo.
    ”
    “
    Tobehonest
    !”
    Linal
    ookedathi
    m.“ Whatdoyouwantmet o
    say?Yousawitfi
    ttosleepwit
    hLebot
    ha,
    someoneIhavebeenconsider
    ingmydaughter
    !
    Yousleptwi
    thherri
    ghtundermynose.Whatdo
    youwantmet osay?Tobeangr y
    ?Iam not
    angry!Iam f arfr
    om bei ngangr yTan!Angeris
    notwhatIev enfeel.Ifeel worsethananger .
    Youhav ehur tmebey ondmeasur e.Itol
    dy ou
    whenwemet !It
    oldy oumysi tuationandy ou
    sai
    di tdoesn’ tmatter.Todaywear emar r
    ied
    andIdon’ tev enhav eapr operrelati
    onshi
    pwi th
    yourkids.Youal way sbr i
    ngupexcuses.That ’
    s
    sti
    ll
    fine,afterallt
    heyar ey ourkids.Ihaveabi g
    case,canIwor koni t?”
    “Theywhydoy ousayy ouforgi
    vemewheny ou
    areclear
    lyhurt
    ?May bethi
    siswhyIcheat !You
    hideyouremotions,Idon’tevenknowwheny ou
    areangry,sadorhappy .Mybusinessisbased
    i
    nMaun, Il
    ongaskedy outomov ebecausethe
    l
    ongdi st
    anceisex hausti
    ngbutofcausey ou
    beingyou,youarest i
    ll
    here.”
    “
    Youwantmet
    oleav
    emyf
    ir
    m?”
    “
    Openanot
    herbr
    anch.
    ”
    “
    Andwhycan’
    tyouopenanot
    herbr
    anch?
    ”
    “Youknowwhat ?Iam donewit
    hthis
    conversat
    ion.Iam goingbacktoMaun.I
    fyou
    wantadi v
    orce,draftt
    hepapersandhavethem
    senttome, ”
    “
    Whosai
    dIwant
    edadi
    vor
    ce?
    ”
    “
    Ido.
    ”
    Tear
    sfi
    ll
    edherey
    es.“
    Youar
    eleav
    ingmef
    or
    mydaughter
    ?”
    “
    Lebot
    hai
    snoty
    ourdaught
    er!
    ”
    Atearrandownhercheek.“
    Lebot
    hai
    smy
    chi
    ld.
    ”
    “
    Wel
    lshei
    sexpect
    ingsoIcan’
    tleav
    eher
    .”
    “
    Tan…”
    “Iam sor
    ry,
    Iwil
    lhav
    emyl
    awy
    erdr
    aftupt
    he
    divor
    cepapers.
    ”
    Mor
    etearsr
    andownhercheeks.“
    Youar
    e
    l
    eav
    ingyety
    ouaret
    heonewhocheated!
    ”
    “
    Forar
    eason.
    ”
    Sheswall
    owedhardstar
    ingatthemanwhohas
    hadherhear
    tfory
    earsnow.“Ican’
    tjustmov
    e.”
    “Igetthatt
    hat
    ’swhyIam choosi
    ngt
    owal
    k
    away .
    ”
    Hetur
    nedandwal kedout
    .Li
    nagotherphone
    anddi
    aledLebot
    ha,
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Whatdoyouthi
    nkyouar
    edoi
    ng?Af
    ter
    ever
    ythi
    ngIdi
    dfory
    ou?”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Ist
    hist
    hepaybackIgetLebot
    ha?
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.Thi
    swasnev
    ert
    hepl
    an.
    ”
    “Howcouldyousleepwithmyhusband?I
    shoul
    dhav el
    efty
    our otonj
    ail
    !Nowonderyour
    mothergaveyoutoherhusband,
    nowIseey ou
    deser
    veit.
    ”
    “Iam nottheonewhoaskedy out ohel
    pme!
    Youdi dallt
    hatt
    ogetyournameoutt herenot
    becausey ouact
    uall
    ywantedt ohelpme.My
    caseputy ouonthemapf orsomeonewho
    hadn’tbeenworki
    ngforyears.Youshould
    thankme! ”
    “
    Ohhsonowy
    oucant
    alkbackt
    ome?
    ”
    “I
    fyoubringmyr apeint
    oityesIwi
    lltal
    kback.
    WhaetvermistakesIhavemadedoesn’tmakei t
    ri
    ghtf
    ory outotellmeIdeserv
    edit
    .Iwasj usta
    chi
    ldbutit’
    sok.Iwasgoingtoleav
    ehi m but
    nowIam goi ngtotakehi
    m andgivehim what
    youcouldn’
    t.Goaheadandsueme, hewillpay
    !”
    Shehungup.Linalookedatherphoneast he
    pai
    nofbet r
    ayalcamebacky etagain.Sheput
    herhandsoverfacecryi
    ng.Awi l
    elater,
    she
    sni
    ffedtaki
    ngherphoneandcal l
    edMmaK.
    “
    Hal
    l
    o?”
    “
    Ma,
    Lebot
    hai
    ssl
    eepi
    ngwi
    thmyhusband.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “Lebothai sdest royingmymar r
    iage.Ican’
    t
    throught hisagai n,pleasetalktoy our
    grandchild.Idon’ tknowwhatwr ongIdi dfor
    hertodot histome.Ihav edonenot hingbut
    l
    ov ehermor et hanherownmot herlovedher.I
    wental loutf orherandt odayshehur t
    smei n
    thewor stpossi blemanner .Pleasetalktoher.I
    am beggi ngy ou.”
    “Ican’
    tbeli
    eveLebothawoulddothisaft
    er
    everyt
    hing.Iwil
    ltal
    ktoher
    ,itwi
    l
    lstop.Iam so
    sorrymygi r
    l.
    ”
    “
    Justt
    alkt
    oher
    .”
    “
    Ok.Letmedoi
    tnow.
    ”

    *
    **

    I
    nherhouse,
    Lebot
    hal
    ayonherbedwi
    thher
    headofherteddybearwhil
    ewatchingaNetf
    li
    x
    seri
    es.Herphonerangthenshereachedf
    orit
    .
    “
    Mmama…”
    “
    Whatam Iheari
    ngLebothaabouty
    ousleepi
    ng
    wi
    thyouraunt
    ’shusband?Howdoy oudothat
    t
    othewomanwhohel pedyou,
    whohelpedus?”
    “Iapol
    ogi
    zedtoLinaandshedecidedtousemy
    rapeagai
    nstme.Iam nolongersorr
    y,that
    womanalway swantstof
    eelsuperi
    or,no
    wonderGodispunishi
    ngher.Iwil
    lpayherback
    hermoney.”
    “
    What
    ’sgot
    teni
    ntoy
    ou?
    ”
    “
    Ihav
    eacal
    lcomi
    ng.
    ”
    Shehungupandt
    ookt
    heot
    hercal
    l
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hey
    ,it
    ’sCal
    vi
    n.”
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Seemsl
    i
    key
    ourdi
    rect
    ingski
    l
    lsar
    etopnot
    ch.
    ”
    “
    Aret
    hey
    ?”
    “Yeah…wannagooutf
    ordi
    nnert
    oni
    ght
    ?Toj
    ust
    appreci
    atey
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    “
    Ok,gr
    eatthen.Sendmepreci
    sedi
    rect
    ionst
    o
    y
    ourhousethenIwill
    come.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Lebothaj
    umpedof fbedwithahugesmileon
    herfacet
    henquicklydr
    essedupinherevening
    dressandheel
    sjustasTanparkedhiscarin
    fr
    ontofherhouse.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe
    #119

    Tanwal
    kedinholdi
    ngaplast
    icofgoodi
    esand
    fr
    ownedst
    ari
    ngatLebothawhosatinfr
    ontof
    hermi
    rr
    ordoinghermakeup.
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyougoi
    ng?
    ”
    “Iam t
    akingmygr
    andmot
    hert
    oachur
    ch
    dinner
    .”
    Hel
    ookedatherbl
    ackdr
    ess.“
    Icandr
    opy
    ouof
    f
    t
    her
    e.”
    “
    Thatwon’
    tbenecessary,
    mycousi
    niscomi
    ng
    t
    opickmeup.Hewillsoonbeher
    e.”
    Tanl
    ookedatherwhi
    leshefi
    nishedupwi
    thher
    makeup.Sher
    anali
    psti
    ckonherl i
    pst
    hen
    st
    oodupasherphonerang.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?.
    ..ok,
    Iam comi
    ngout
    .”
    “Heishere.Pleasedon’
    tcomeoutt
    il
    lweare
    gone.Idon’twantMmamat oknowaboutusas
    y
    et.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lwai
    tfory
    ou.
    ”
    “Ok.
    ”Lebot hagrabbedherpur set
    henwal ked
    outtotheRangeRov erparkedathergatewhile
    Tanpeaked.Shegoti nthecarandhuggedher
    cousinthenhedr oveaway .Tansatonthebed
    taki
    ngof fhershoesinhali
    ngherscentdozing.

    *
    **

    Abewalkedinsidehisfather’
    shouseandsat
    besi
    deshisbrotherswhiletheirt
    hreeuncles
    andtwoauntsal sosat.Ginawalkedinandsat
    besi
    deTakust aringatherkids.Thei
    roldest
    uncl
    esstart
    ed.
    “
    Iam st
    art
    ingwit
    hyouAbe.Yourf
    athert
    ell
    sus
    y
    ouimpregnat
    edanot
    herwoman.”
    Hesi
    ghed.“
    Yesbutsheabor
    tedt
    hebabyt
    oday
    af
    terwehadanar
    gumentandsowebr
    okeup.
    ”
    Gi
    naf
    rowned.“
    Shewhat
    ?”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    “
    Ial
    readydon’tl
    i
    ket hi
    sgi
    rl
    ,wher
    edoessheget
    t
    heball
    stojustkil
    landgoonwit
    hli
    fe?
    ”
    “Webr
    okeupsot her
    eisnoneedt
    ogot
    oher
    par
    ent
    ’shouse.
    ”
    Hi
    sunclenodded.“Ipersonal
    lyIam gl
    adyou
    br
    okeupwi t
    hthatgirl
    .Herfatheri
    sjustal
    otof
    work.Soi
    t’
    soverforgood? ”
    “Yes,
    Iwill
    notbewithawomanwhocanki
    l
    l.
    Doesn’tmatt
    eri
    fit
    ’sanunbor
    nbaby
    .”
    “Ok,Ihearyou.Youneedt ostopimpregnanti
    ng
    ever
    ywomany oucomeacr osstoo.You
    shouldn’
    thav eki
    dsallov
    er,soony ouwil
    llose
    countofallthekidsy
    ouhav e.Fi
    ndagood
    womanandset tl
    edownwi thher.Marryherand
    makeuspr oud.Forhowl ongwillyouchase
    aft
    erskirt
    s?Wakur a,makor ehaadzokereshure.
    Ndir
    ikuzvit
    auranhasi,mangwana
    handizvi
    dzokororezve.Ndof ungakuti
    wandinzwa.(Youar eold,agecannev ergo
    backward.Iam tell
    i
    ngy out histoday
    ,tomorr
    ow
    Iwon’trepeati
    tagain.Ithinky ouhavehear
    d
    me.)”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Good.Nextti
    mey oucall
    me, Iwanty outotel
    l
    mey ouhavefoundher.That
    ’swhatIt oldCalv
    in,
    Inolongerwanttohearaboutgirl
    fr
    iends,Iwant
    tohearseri
    ousthi
    ngs.Tendai
    ? ”
    “
    Iwantt
    ogetmar
    ri
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Aha!Thi
    siswhatIwantt
    ohear
    .When?
    ”
    “
    Assoonaspossi
    ble.Moneyi
    snotapr
    obl
    em.
    ”
    Thei
    runcl
    esmil
    ed.“
    That’
    sri
    ght
    ,that
    ’swhatI
    wanttohear
    .Wewil
    lgett
    hebal
    lroll
    i
    ng.”
    *
    **

    Atthehospi
    tal
    ,Otengwalkedinsi
    detheroom
    whereEll
    enwas.Sheslowlylookedathi
    m wit
    h
    tear
    sinhereyes.
    “
    Mybaby
    …”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    Sheputherhandsov
    erherfacecry
    ing.Ot
    eng
    tookadeepbreat
    hstandi
    ngsti
    ll
    .
    “
    Mybabyi
    sgone.
    ”
    “
    Ihav
    emanagedt
    ocal
    lyourmot
    her
    .”
    “
    Ijustwantmybaby
    .Heki
    l
    ledmybaby
    .”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry,
    Ireal
    l
    yam.
    ”
    Shelookedathim st
    andi
    ngf
    eetf
    rom her
    .
    “Thankyouforcoming.
    ”
    “I
    t’
    sok,Iwouldhavedoneitforanywoman.I
    am complet
    elyagai
    nstvi
    olenceagai
    nstwoman
    andIam gl
    adyoucal
    ledmebef
    oresomet
    hing
    worsecoul
    dhappen.
    ”
    “Heisaccusi
    ngmeofcheat
    ing.Hi
    smot her
    doesn’
    tli
    kemeandshehasbeenplant
    ingall
    thi
    sideasinhi
    shead.
    ”
    “
    Wel
    lIhopeyoumaket
    hebestchoi
    cef
    or
    y
    our
    sel
    fri
    ghtnow.
    ”
    “
    Iam l
    eav
    ing.Ican’
    tdot
    hisany
    mor
    e.”
    “
    Ihav
    etogo.
    ”
    “
    Sosoon?
    ”
    “
    Mywi
    feandki
    dsar
    ewai
    ti
    ngf
    orme.
    ”
    “Youcan’
    tleav
    emeal
    lal
    one.Ineedt
    obewi
    th
    someone.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lanur
    set
    okeepy
    oucompany
    .”
    “
    Oteng…”
    “Ihaveawif
    eandIloveher.JustbecauseI
    helpedyoui
    tdoesn’
    tchangethatfact.Ihope
    y
    ougetbet
    tersoon.
    ”
    Hewalkedoutt
    henquicklydr
    ovet
    odebonai
    r
    wherehegothi
    sorderthenwentt
    oNaya
    Rest
    aurant
    .Awhil
    elaterhewasdri
    vi
    ngbackto
    GPH.

    *
    **

    Ilookedatmywri
    stwat
    chandsi
    ghedstari
    ngat
    thekidspl
    ayi
    nggamesonmyphone.Oteng
    walkedinwit
    hasmil
    eweari
    ngadif
    fer
    entt-shi
    rt
    .
    “
    Sor
    ryIt
    ookl
    ongbutIgotev
    ery
    thi
    ng.
    ”
    Iwat
    chedhim gi
    vethekidsthei
    rfoodthenhe
    fi
    nal
    l
    yhandedmemypi zza.“Wheredidyougo?
    Andwhydidyouchangey ourt-
    shi
    rt?
    ”
    “Igotacal
    lfr
    om Ell
    en,
    herhusbandwasbeating
    hersoIwentther
    eandt ookhert
    othehospi
    tal.
    ”
    “
    Whycoul
    dn’
    tshecal
    lthepol
    i
    ce?Whyy
    ou?
    ”
    “
    Shecall
    edt
    hepoli
    cebuthadn’
    tshecal
    ledme
    t
    hepol
    icewasnotgoi
    ngtodomuchf orher
    .”
    “
    Andy
    oucoul
    d?”
    Hesmil
    ed.“
    Ijustdr
    oppedherof
    fatt
    hehospi
    tal
    andl
    eft
    .”
    “Isee.Thi
    sisthesamewomanwhocameat
    ourwedding,Iam sti
    l
    l notsurewhatshe
    wantedandt odayyouar etel
    l
    ingmeoutof
    everyonesheknows, shecall
    edyoutohelpher
    becauseyouar etheonlyonewhocandoso
    muchf orher
    .”
    “
    Iwasj
    ustbei
    ngni
    ce.
    ”
    “
    Sur
    elyi
    twouldbeni
    ceofmet ohel
    pAbeata
    t
    imeofneed,
    don’
    tyout
    hinkso?”
    Hesi
    ghed.“
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Whyareyouapol
    ogizi
    ngwhenyouseenothi
    ng
    wrongwi
    thwhaty
    oudi d?Giv
    ent
    heoppor
    tuni
    ty
    youwoul
    dsti
    l
    ldoitagain.
    ”
    “
    Iwouldn’tdoitbecauseIknowitwoul
    dupset
    y
    ou.Iam sorry.IguessIshouldhav
    ethoughti
    t
    t
    hrough.Iwil
    ldobet t
    ernextti
    me.”
    “
    Whathappenedt
    oyourt
    -shi
    rt
    ?”
    “
    Itgotmessedup.I
    t’
    sint
    hecar
    .”
    “Idon’tli
    kethisandIam notgoingtostartnow,
    mybl oodpr essur
    eisal
    readyhigh.Pleasedon’t
    stressmeupf urt
    her
    .Iwantthi
    sbabyandI
    wanti tal
    ive.If
    …”Isi
    ghedbli
    nking.
    Heki
    ssedme.“Iam sorr
    y.Ipr
    omiseyouit
    won’
    thappenagai
    n.Itwi
    llnev
    erhappenagai
    n.”
    “Idon’twantyoutal
    kingtoher.Idon’
    twantyou
    associatedwit
    hher.Callmeinsecureor
    what everbutt
    hat
    ’sthat.Iam pr
    egnantandI
    can’tdomucht oyou.Pleasedon’thur
    tme.”
    Helookedi
    nmyt earyeyes.“
    Iwi
    llnevertal
    kto
    heragai
    nandIam notgoingtohurtyou.Ihav
    e
    noreasont
    ocheat.Trustmeonthat.Ilove
    you.
    ”
    Heki
    ssedmeagai
    n.“
    Eat
    .”

    *
    **

    BinamoanedasLet sogav ehert hel aststroke


    andf i
    l
    ledt hecondom whi l
    eshespasmed.He
    sli
    doutt hent ookof ft hecondom whi l
    eBi na
    threwher sel
    font hebedexhaust edsl owly
    closi
    ngherey es.Let sowal kedtot hebat hroom
    andcamebackmi nuteslater.Hel ookedather
    athersleepingt hent ookhi sphoneand
    snappedapi cture.Hi sphonev ibratedr i
    nging,
    hewal kedoutoft hebedr oom answer ing.
    “
    Yah?
    ”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Ican’
    tcome.
    ”
    “I
    sitbecauseofthatchi
    ckyouweret
    alki
    ng
    about?Ithoughti
    twasonlysex.
    ”
    “
    Ili
    ed,
    Idon’
    twhati
    tisbuti
    t’
    smor
    ethant
    hat
    .”
    “I
    fit
    ’smorethanthattheny oushouldbehonest
    wit
    hher.Rel
    ationshi
    psbuiltonli
    esnev ergetf
    ar
    andyourki
    ndofl i
    eisjustnotalie.
    ”
    “
    Ial
    readyt
    oldOl
    eri
    l
    eabouther
    .”
    “
    Andwhatdi
    dshesay
    ?”
    “
    Not
    hing.
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tgetthepoi
    ntofy
    ourmar
    ri
    agei
    fyou
    f
    uckaround.
    ”
    “Iwouldhav elongl
    eftbutyouknowOl eri
    l
    e,she
    wasst i
    lldeali
    ngwit
    hherdepr essi
    onbut
    everyoneknowswesepar ated.Justbecause
    wel i
    veinthesamehousei tdoesn’tmeanIam
    withherinanyway .
    ”
    “Getadi
    vorceandst ar
    toverwit
    ht henew
    womanorst ayandfixwhat’
    sbroken.Oler
    il
    e
    l
    ovesyou,Ihaveseenitinhowy oulookather
    .
    Thatwomanl ovesyouwithever
    y t
    hingshehas,
    shel
    ovedy ousinceform 1.Irememberwhen
    shemov edandhowi twasal waysyou.Shehas
    l
    ovedyouf orsol ong.Shehasbeenwi thyoufor
    18years,10bef oreyoumar ri
    edherand8y ear
    s
    ofmarriage.Iknowt hatalothappenedbut
    can’
    tyouf i
    xit.
    ”
    “Iam alr
    eadywit
    hsomeoneel seandIthinkI
    l
    ov eher.Ol
    eri
    leandIlongended.Usnot
    divor
    cingdoesn’
    tmeanany thingandIalready
    spoket omylawyer.Ihav
    efiledfordi
    vorce.”
    “
    Ok.Iwi
    l
    ltel
    ltheboy
    syoucan’
    tcome.
    ”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    Letsohungupthenwal
    kedbacktot
    he
    bedroom wher
    ehecuddl
    edBinaki
    ssi
    ngher
    neck.

    *
    **
    Thefollowi
    ngmor ning,Ni
    shawal kedtoher
    deskandsatdownwonder ingifhewasi n
    alr
    eadyornot .Shefi
    xedherheelst henpushed
    herhairbackknowingshewassupposedt o
    bri
    efi
    nghi m onhisday.Shelookedatherwat ch
    thentookherphoneandcal ledhersister
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Whatdi
    dyousayIshoul
    ddoagai
    n?”
    Hersi
    sterlaughed.“Befi
    rm wi
    thhi
    m,your
    per
    sonalli
    fehasnot hi
    ngtodowithhi
    m.Who
    youdat
    ei snothisissueandhecan’
    tfi
    rey
    ou,
    youdi
    dn’tnothingwrong.
    ”
    “
    May
    beheknowsIam hav
    eacr
    ushonhi
    m.”
    “
    Evenifheknows, hehasnori
    ghtt
    ogoov
    er
    y
    ourpersonalspaceandtel
    lyouwhoy
    ouneed
    t
    odate.”
    Ni
    shat
    ookadeepbr
    eat
    h.“
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Ani
    sha,
    Tif
    anoi
    sagoodguy
    .Heal
    sohasa
    degree,hi
    m notbei ngablet ofi
    ndaj obi swhat
    mostpeopl earegoi ngthrough.Somepeopl e
    areluckytogettheirjobsimmedi atelyafter
    varsi
    tyandsomeofushav etowai t
    .Lookat
    you,youonlyfoundaj obtwoy earslateraft
    er
    varsi
    ty.Hi
    mt ooi sstil
    llookingforajob.Don’t
    l
    ookdownonhi m.Hei sagoodguy .Iknow
    yourbosshasal lthemoneyi nthewor ldand
    canaf f
    ordanythingbutTi fanolovesyouso
    much.Becar eful.
    ”
    “
    Yeah,
    bye.
    ”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Nishat ookadeepbr eaththenpull
    eddownher
    skirtandwal kedi
    nsideherboss’ sof
    fice.He
    turnedandl ookedatherwhi lehesatwi th
    anot herman.God…Thent herewast hatwayhe
    woul dlookather,t
    hatal waysmadeherbl ush.
    Hel ookedathi swatchthenl i
    ft
    edhisey esto
    heragai n,
    sheputherl egstogethertakingina
    deepbr eath.Hercrushonhi m hadalway s
    madeherpl
    ayf
    araway
    .Theot
    hermanst
    ood
    up.
    “
    Wewi
    l
    ltal
    k.”
    “
    Sur
    e!”
    Themansmi l
    edwalkingpasthert
    henoutof
    theoff
    iceleav
    ingonlythem.Heleanedback
    putt
    inghishandstogetherst
    ari
    ngathergoi
    ng
    downherbodysl owlythengotuptoherf
    ace
    agai
    n.
    “
    Whatdoy
    ouhav
    eforme?
    ”
    Sheclear
    edherthr
    oatt
    aki
    ngastepbackthen
    openedhisdi
    aryandst
    art
    edbr
    ief
    inghi
    m onhis
    day.
    “Ok,Iwanty
    outocancel
    thel
    astmeet
    ing,
    schedul
    eitf
    ornex
    tweek.”
    “
    Yessi
    r.
    ”
    “
    Thencancelothermeeti
    ngsfort
    her
    estofthe
    week,
    meetingsthatonl
    yneedmebuttherest
    ,
    Ol
    i
    verwi
    l
    ltaket
    hem.Tal
    ktohi
    sPA.
    ”
    “
    YesSi
    r.
    ”
    “
    Mymeeti
    ngwi
    tht
    heMr
    .El
    soni
    snextweek
    r
    ight
    ?”
    “
    Yessi
    r,onMonday
    .”
    “
    Ok.Doy
    ouhav
    eapasspor
    t?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Doy
    ouhav
    eitr
    ightnow?
    ”
    “
    No,
    it’
    sathome.
    ”
    “Cal
    lthedr
    iver
    ,lethi
    mtakey
    oubackhomeand
    comebackwi t
    hi t
    .”
    “
    Am It
    rav
    eli
    ngsomewher
    e?”
    “
    Yes.Anypr
    obl
    em?
    ”
    Ni
    shashookherhead.“
    Iwi
    l
    lgetoni
    t.
    ”

    *
    **
    Lebot hawalkedi
    nherhouseandl ookedatTan
    sleeping.Shequi
    ckl
    yundressedt henwalkedto
    thebat hr
    oom whereshetookashower .Awhil
    e
    l
    at ershewalkedoutandfacedTanwhowas
    nowawakehol di
    nghertorndress.
    “
    Whathappened.
    ”
    “
    Ihadt
    osl
    eepathome.
    ”
    “
    Whathappenedt
    oyourdr
    ess?
    ”
    “
    Ifel
    l
    .”
    “
    Icansmel
    lamanoni
    t.
    ”
    “
    Ihuggedaf
    ewmenatt
    heev
    ent
    .”
    “
    Yout
    hinkIam st
    upi
    dLebot
    ha?
    ”
    Lebothasi
    ghed.“
    Idon’
    tknowwhaty
    ouwant
    met osay.
    ”
    “Idr
    ovet
    oyourgrandmot
    her
    ’shousel
    astni
    ght
    andshewasther
    e.”
    Lebot
    ha’
    sheartski
    ppedthenshelookedatt
    he
    doorwor
    kingonherescapeplan.
    “
    Wher
    ewer
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Iwentoutwi
    thmyf
    ri
    ends.
    ”
    “
    Sowhydi
    dyoul
    i
    e?”
    “It
    houghtyouwoul drefuse,youaresuper
    contr
    oll
    i
    ngit’sannoying!Yiuarejusttoomuch,
    youshouldjustgobackt oy ourwifebecauseI
    can’
    tdothisanymor e.Everyoneisgoingtohat
    e
    meandshewi l
    lprobablysueme. ”
    “
    Whower
    eyouwi
    thl
    astni
    ght
    ?”
    “
    Iwaswi
    thmyf
    ri
    ends.
    ”
    Lebot
    ha’
    sphoner
    angt
    henhepi
    ckedi
    tup.
    “
    Giv
    ememyphone.
    ”
    “
    Who’
    sCal
    vi
    n?”
    Tanansweredandputt
    hephoneonloud
    speaker
    .“Heybabe,
    youfor
    gotsomet
    hingi
    ncar
    ,
    Iam onmywayback.
    ”
    Tandr
    oppedthecallandlookedather
    .“Who
    werey
    ouwithlastni
    ght?”
    “Iwaswi thmyboy f
    ri
    end.Idon’tloveyou
    anymor e, Inev erdidtobeginwi t
    h,itwasj ust
    thethril
    lofbei ngfuckedbyy ouandt hat’sall
    .
    Youar et oool df ormeandy ouarebor i
    ng.You
    areoldf ashi onedandy ouar ejusttooser i
    ous.
    It
    ’sabor ehonest l
    y,t
    hesexi sitbutyouasa
    personar et hemostbor i
    ngper sonev erandy ou
    don’tdoi tf ormeany more.Gapeont urnileoff
    wheny oudi dn’tuseacondom, t
    ryi
    ngt ogetme
    pregnant .Myv ir
    alloadmaybel owbutt hat’s
    doesn’tmeanweshoul dn’tbeusingacondom.
    Youwer er ecklessanditwasat urnoff.Iguess
    Ili
    kedy oumor ewhenwewer esneakingbut
    nowt herei snot hingint
    erestingaboutthis
    rel
    ationshi p.Thespar kisgone.Gobackt oy our
    wife.
    ”
    Tanl
    aughedst
    ari
    ngather
    .“Youmustt
    hinkt
    his
    i
    saj
    oke.
    ”
    “
    Iti
    s,whatdi
    dyouthi
    nk?Thi
    swholeaf
    fai
    rwas
    j
    ustajokeandIam t
    ir
    edofi
    t.Youar
    ebori
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Yousl
    eptwi
    thhi
    m di
    dn’
    tyou?
    ”
    “
    Leav
    emyhouse.
    ”
    Tanangril
    ylookedathert
    henhegr abbedher
    neck.“Whodoy outhi
    nkisafool?Yougo
    aroundcheati
    ngonme?Af terIbuyyouacar?”
    Lebotha’
    sey eswi denedasshet r
    iedfi
    ght
    ing.
    Tearsfil
    l
    edherey eswhileheti
    ghtenedhi
    shold
    onher.Shesl owlymel t
    edtothef l
    owwhil
    ehe
    str
    angledhert henshef i
    nall
    ystoppedmov i
    ng
    asshesoi l
    edher self
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe
    #120

    Calvi
    npar kedhiscari nfrontofLebot
    ha’s
    houseandst eppedoutwi thasmi l
    e.Hewal ked
    overtothedoorandopenedwal kingin.Tan
    steppedbackf r
    om Lebothawhowasl y
    ingon
    thefloorwithpeer unningdownt hefl
    oor .
    “
    Whatt
    hef
    uck?Whatdi
    dyoudot
    oher
    ?”
    TanlookedatCal v i
    ni nshockofhi sown
    acti
    onsnowr eali
    zationofwhathehaddone
    si
    nkingin.Hewoul dgot ojai
    l f
    ormur deronly
    becausehedeci dedt osleepwi thay oung
    womanhi swi feconsi der
    edadaught er.Hewas
    probabl
    ylookingi ntowhat ?Mor ethant enyear
    s
    ofimpri
    sonmentorev enmor e.Linawoul d
    neverhelphim, notaf t
    erwhathadhappened
    l
    astnight,notafterthat.
    Cal
    vi
    npushedhi
    m backt
    henknel
    tbef
    oreher
    andputhi stwofi
    ngersonherneckfeeli
    ngher
    pulse.Hef rownedstari
    ngatherthenremained
    sti
    l
    l foral i
    tt
    lewhil
    ebef or
    epicki
    ngherupand
    hurryingwi t
    hhertohiscar.Heputheratthe
    back, jumpedinanddr oveawayleav
    ingTan
    i
    nsidet hehouse.
    Hedr
    ovef
    orawhil
    ethenf
    inal
    l
    yst
    oppedt
    hecar
    .
    “
    Whowasthat
    ?”
    Lebot
    hasl
    owl
    yopenedherey
    esandsatupr
    ight
    fi
    xi
    nghert
    owel
    .
    “I
    fyoulietomeIam droppi
    ngy ouoffri
    ghthere
    andyouar egoi
    ngtofi
    ndway sbacktoy our
    house.From t
    herey
    ouwi l
    lhavetoforgetabout
    me.”
    Tear
    sfi
    l
    ledLebotha’
    seyest
    henshebroke
    downcr
    ying.Cal
    vinwat
    chedhercr
    yti
    l
    l she
    fi
    nal
    l
    ykeptquiet
    .
    “
    Star
    ttal
    ki
    ngorst
    epout
    .”
    “
    Ibr
    okeupwi
    thhi
    m buthedoesn’
    tgett
    he
    message.
    ”
    “Thecarout
    sidey
    ourhouse,Isawitl
    astni
    ght
    whenIcameandy outol
    dmei twasyour
    cousi
    n’scar
    ,wher
    eisyourcousin?
    ”
    Lebothapressedherl
    ipst
    ogethercry
    ing.
    Annoyed,Calvi
    ngotoutofthecarandopened
    thedoorforher.“
    Getoutofmycar.”
    “Iam sorry,
    Iam l yi
    ng.HewassomeoneIwas
    seeingandIt oldhim Idi
    dn’
    twantthe
    rel
    ationshi
    pany morebuthewasper sist
    antand
    Ididn’twanttoar guewit
    hhim becausehesai d
    heboughtmeacarandi fIpressedonhewoul d
    beatmecl aimi ngheboughtmeacar .Iswear
    thatisthetruth.”
    “
    Whydi
    dyoul
    i
    etomey
    est
    erday
    ?”
    “Becausey
    ouar
    eanewper
    sont
    omebutIam
    sorry
    .”
    “
    Ify
    our eal
    l
    ywantt
    oenditt
    henyoushould
    r
    eporthimtot
    hepol
    icef
    orwhatj
    usthappened.
    Ther
    eisnogur
    ant
    eet
    hathewon’
    tdoi
    tagai
    n.”
    Lebot
    hanodded.“
    Ok.
    ”
    Cal
    vi
    ncl
    osedt
    hedoort
    hengotbacki
    nthecar
    .

    *
    **

    Ni
    shafini
    sheddressi
    ngthent
    iedherhai
    rwhi
    l
    e
    Ti
    fanosatonherbedstari
    ngather
    .
    “
    Soy
    ouar
    egoi
    ngwi
    thy
    ourboss?
    ”
    “No,
    Iam goingwit
    hotherPA’
    s.I
    t’
    sawor
    kshop
    andhewon’tbether
    e.”
    “
    Forhowl
    ongwi
    l
    lyoubegone?
    ”
    “
    Iam comi
    ngbackonSunday
    .”
    Acarhootedoutsi
    de.NishahuggedTif
    anithen
    pull
    edherbagoutsi
    detot hecart
    hatwas
    parkedatt
    hegate.Ti
    fanost ar
    edthr
    oughthe
    windosasthedr
    iverputherbagintheboot
    whil
    eshesattheback.Hest
    eppedbackand
    satonherbedtaki
    ngouthi
    sphonethenhe
    cal
    ledhi
    sbabymama.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “CanIpassbydroppi
    ngoffaf
    ewthi
    ngsI
    boughtforNat
    ashaandLoapi
    ?”
    “
    Yes,
    Iam home.Youwer
    ewor
    kingni
    ghtshi
    ft
    ?”
    “
    Yeah.Iam onmyway
    .”
    Hehungupt henwalkedoutofNisha’shouse
    l
    ockingbehindhim.Hegoti nhistaxiHondaFit
    anddrovetohi sbabymama’ shouse.Minutes
    l
    aterhesteppedoutwi t
    hplasti
    cbagsf ul
    lof
    cl
    othesandshoesandknockedont hedoor.
    Angelaopenedt hedoorandsmi l
    ed.
    “
    Heey
    !Comei
    n.”
    Hewalkedinherhouseandsatonthecouch.
    Angel
    awalkedtothekitchent
    hencameback
    wit
    haplateful
    lofEngl
    ishbreakf
    astandaglass
    ofj
    uice.
    “
    Eat
    ,Iknowy
    ouhav
    en’
    teat
    en.
    ”
    Hi
    sstomachmadeasoundasifinagreement
    wi
    thhert
    henhel
    aughed.“
    Iwon’tsaynotofree
    f
    oodAngie.
    ”
    “
    Eat
    .”
    Shestart
    edlookingatt
    heclotheshehad
    boughtfrom Acker
    mansandMr .Pr
    icewi
    tha
    smil
    e.Tifanoputhispl
    atedownaf t
    ercl
    eari
    ngi
    t
    andlookedather.
    “Thesearebeauti
    ful.Il
    ovethem.Thekidswil
    l
    l
    ov ethem.WhenIsai dtheyneededclot
    hesI
    didn’
    tmeanbuyal otbutIappreciat
    ehowy ou
    takerepsoni
    sbi
    li
    tyofy ourki
    ds.Il
    ovehowy ou
    alwaysputthem f
    irst.
    ”
    “
    IfIdon’
    ttakecar
    eoft
    hem whowi
    l
    l?”
    “
    Igotyousomet
    hing.
    ”Shesmil
    edgetti
    ngup
    t
    henshecamebackmoment sl
    aterandhanded
    hi
    m aboxofabr
    andnewphone.
    “
    Whati
    sthi
    s?”
    “Youtakecareofmeandthekidssomuchy ou
    don’tevenlookaty
    our
    sel
    f.Takethatphoneand
    takethi
    sP100andgetahaircut
    .Youlookweird
    i
    nt hatafr
    o.”
    Tifanolookedatthephoneandmoneywi tha
    smi l
    e,shealwaysspoi
    lthi
    mi tal
    way smadehim
    feelsomehow.Itwasani cefeel
    inghavi
    nga
    womandosomet hi
    ngforyouwithoutev
    en
    asking.Angiel
    ookedatthatshysmi l
    eonhis
    facethengotupandsatonhi slap.Shecupped
    hisfacewi t
    hasmi l
    e.
    “Tif
    ano,Idon’tknowwhatwentwr ong…the
    postnataldepressionturnedmeintosomeoneI
    wasnotandIunder st
    andjustwhyyoulost
    i
    nterestbutIlovey ou.Igothel
    pandI
    accepetedthatitwast oolatef
    orusbutIcan’t
    pretendanymor e.Iloveyoubabe,Iwantusto
    rai
    seourkidstogether,
    wear eafami l
    y.Your
    youngestdaughteri
    ssleepingintheroom,she
    i
    sonl y8monthsandIl ovehersomuch.Ican’ t
    beli
    eveIeverhatedherorthatIactuall
    ywanted
    toaborthernowasIl ookather.Pleasegiveme
    achance.Idedicated6y earsofmyl i
    fetoyou
    Tif
    ano.Youknowme.Pl easecomebackhome,
    weneedy ou.”
    Tif
    anolookedathert
    earyeyesandsi
    ghed.
    “Ther
    eissomeonealready
    .”
    “
    Please…”
    “
    Ican’
    tjustl
    eav
    eher
    .”
    “Il
    ovey oubaby .
    ”Angieleanedov erandki
    ssed
    him.Shemov edherbuttonhi m makinghisdick
    j
    erk.Itbeenawhi lesi
    ncehehadsexandNi sha
    hadputhi m onasi xmonthspr obati
    ontoseei f
    therelat
    ionshipwaswor thit
    .Wi t
    hheritnever
    gotany where,alwaysendedwhent heyki
    ssed.
    Angi
    epushedhi
    m ont
    hecouchget
    ti
    ngont
    op
    ofhimt henshemov edherwai stonhi m dry
    humpi ng.Hisdickgotwaymor ehar derwhilehe
    tr
    iedtof i
    ghtoffthestrongur getojustbe
    buri
    edi nthatpussybutt hethoughtofwhatshe
    coulddoi nbedmadehi m wayhar der.Shetook
    outhisdickfrom hispant sandstrokedhi m
    pushingherpant i
    estot hesidethensl owlysat
    onhiml etti
    nghisdickpushi nthroughher
    moistpussy .

    *
    **

    Att
    heair
    port,
    Niashawalkedinsi
    detheai
    rpor
    t
    dr
    aggi
    ngherbag.Abewal kedovert
    oherand
    l
    ookedatherbagwithasmi l
    e.
    “Wear
    eonlygoi
    ngforafewdays,t
    her
    ewasno
    needt
    obr
    ingyourent
    ir
    ewardrobe.
    ”
    Nishablushedembarrassed.“
    Ipackedsome
    extr
    aclothesjusti
    ncase.”
    “
    That
    ’ssmar
    t.Il
    i
    ket
    hat
    .Let
    ’sgoandchecki
    n.”
    Nisha’
    shearbegunpoundi ngasshewal ked
    behindhim,shehadneverbeenany where
    expecttoVict
    oriaf
    all
    slongback,herpassport
    onlyhadfourstampsandt heywereonlyforher
    goingtoVicfal
    lsandcomi ngbactoBotswana.
    Awhi l
    elatert
    heywalkedinsidet
    heplanet hen
    shesatbesidehim wi
    thapoundinghear t.
    “Don’tworry,
    youaresafe.Bytheway,Iwanted
    toapologizeforwhathappened.Youcandate
    whoev eryouwant,i
    t’
    snonofmybusi ness.Iwi
    ll
    keepourr el
    ati
    onshi
    pprofessi
    onalfr
    om now
    goingforwad.”
    Ni
    shasl
    owl
    ynodded.“
    Yessi
    r.
    ”
    “
    Wear
    ecool
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Doy
    ouhav
    esi
    l
    ings?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Ihav
    etwosi
    ster
    s.Oneol
    derandt
    heot
    her
    i
    sdoi
    ngf
    orm her5.
    ”
    “
    Andy
    ourpar
    ent
    s?”
    “
    Theyar
    ebot
    hther
    e,i
    nMochudi
    .”
    “
    Ok.Whatdi
    dyoust
    udyagai
    n?”
    “
    MBA.
    ”
    “
    Alotofpeopl
    ehavethatdegr
    eebutt
    heyar
    e
    j
    ustsi
    tt
    ingathome.
    ”
    “Whenwef i
    nishwi t
    hschool ,wehav ethis
    ment ali
    tythatnowev erythi
    ngi sgoingt obe
    alr
    ightbutmostcompani eswantt ohirecer t
    ain
    agegr oupswi th5ormor eyearsofexper ience,
    sucht hi
    ngst hatuswhoar efreshfrom school
    don’thav e.Wej usthav eourinternship
    refer
    ence, thosewhogethi redwher etheyhad
    beendoi ngt hei
    rintershipsareluckybutt hen
    thereisagr oupoft heunl uckyones.If ini
    shed
    school t
    woy earsbackandIam get ti
    ngaj ob
    j
    ustnow. ”
    “Iknow, hopef ull
    ysoony ougetpromot edtoa
    j
    obt hatact uallyneedsyourskil
    ls.Iknowhow
    l
    ifecanbehar d,playi
    ngsoccerhelpedme.I
    neverlikedsoccerandIst i
    ll
    don’tbutthingisi
    n
    thi
    sl i
    fey ouhav etomakedeci ons.Imadea
    decisi
    ont hatIwoul ddowhatpay sthebill
    sand
    Idid.Toj ustmakeendsmeet .
    ”
    “
    Youar
    eser
    ious?
    ”
    “Iam tel
    li
    ngy ou.Ihatesoccer
    .Idon’thow
    anyonelooksatmeandt hi
    nkIam thebest
    playeroutthere.Butcir
    mstanceshadmewi tha
    diff
    erentopini
    onandIhadt omakedi f
    fer
    ent
    decisi
    ons.”
    Ni
    shal
    ookedoutt
    hewindowr
    eal
    i
    zingt
    hey
    wer
    eal
    readyi
    ntheai
    r.
    “
    Rel
    ax,
    not
    hingi
    sgoi
    ngt
    ohappent
    oyou.
    ”
    “
    YesSi
    r.
    ”
    “
    Obookar
    eyessi
    rij
    a.”
    Ni
    shal
    aughedr
    elaxi
    ng.“
    Sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Doy
    ouhav
    eki
    ds?
    ”
    “
    No,
    Ihav
    enon.
    ”
    “Nooff
    ensebutyoul
    ookl
    i
    key
    ouhav
    enev
    er
    hadsexbef
    ore.
    ”
    Ni
    shal
    ookeddownembarrassed.Abelaughed
    wi
    thdi
    sbel
    iefashi
    ssuspi
    cionsgotanswered.
    “
    Whatar
    eyouwai
    ti
    ngf
    or?
    ”
    “
    Fort
    her
    ightman.
    ”
    “
    Andy
    ourboy
    fri
    end?
    ”
    “Ihadtol
    dhimtowaitandeneheispatientj
    ust
    thatIwantedt
    omakesur ehei
    scompl etel
    y
    overhisbabymamabecausetheybrokeupony
    4mont hsbackandt
    heyhav et
    wokidst oget
    her
    .
    Onewhoi s5andtheotheri
    sthebaby.”
    “Iam tel
    l
    ingyouthi
    sfr
    om experi
    ence,heisst
    il
    l
    notoverherandyouarearebound.Beinga
    rebounddoesn’
    tmeanhedoesn’tloveyou,he
    doesbutj ustnotenoughbecausemostofhi s
    feeli
    ngsar esti
    llwiththeot herwoman.Whenhe
    sest hatot herwomant heywi llalway sbet hat
    connect ionandi naspl itsecondy ouwi llbe
    forgotten.IhadawomanIl ov edandIl ovedher
    somuch.Wegotmar r
    iedbutwehadal otof
    chall
    enges.Al othappenedandt houghtwe
    woul dov ercomei tbutt hensher etali
    ated,
    mademef eelwhatsheal way sf eltandour
    mar r
    iageendedt henbecauseIcoul dn'tforgi
    ve
    wgatsheal waysforgav e.Iwashur t,over
    emot ional soImov edonev enbef oreour
    divorce.Imetanewwomanandhadmy
    secondbor nchi
    ld,Ronny .Ay earl aterItoldmy
    wifeIwant edadi vorce,atfirstwhenIt oldher,
    shewasst ubbornbutt hent hef oll
    owi ngday
    shesi gnedandj ustdi sconnect ed.Shemov ed
    ont oamanaccor dingt oheri sal ov i
    ngman
    andf ort helongesttimeIwasst uckonher .I
    l
    ostmysecondbabymamabecauseshe
    woul dn’tstayforthatshi t,
    thenIwasj ustaf r
    ee
    mant illIgotseriouswi ththisot herwoman.I
    thinkIl ikedhav i
    ngherar oundbecauseshewas
    niceandunder standi ngbutt henshegot
    pregnant .Idon’twantanot herchi l
    doutof
    wedl ock.Thenextwomanwhoi scar ryi
    ngmy
    DNAi sgoi ngtohav ethedi amondr i
    ngon
    her f
    ingerandwi llbeaddr essedasMr s.We
    bumpedi nt omyexwi f
    ewhenIwi thmyt hen
    girl
    friendandshef eltIst i
    llwant edhert henshe
    l
    ef tandabor t
    edt hebaby .Ididn’tfightittoo
    becauset herewasnof uturet here.NowIam
    readyt omov eonbecauseIam compl etelysure
    anddonewi thmyexwi fe.Idon’ twantanot her
    childoutofwedl ock.Thenextwomanwhoi s
    car r
    yingmyDNAi sgoingt ohav ethedi amond
    ri
    ngonher fi
    ngerandwi llbeaddr essedasMr s.
    Nowgoi ngbackt oy ou,y ouseehowl ongi t
    takest ojustgetov ersomeonewhom y ouhav e
    twoki dswi t
    h?Myexwi feandIhav enoki ds
    toget her .
    ”
    “
    Iknowhest
    il
    ll
    ovesherbuthet
    ri
    eshi
    sbest
    wi
    thme.”
    “Don’tsettl
    efortry
    ing,set
    tl
    efortherealcont
    ent
    ,
    Iknowf orsur
    ethenextwomanIam goi ngt o
    bewi thisnotgoingtogetmet ry
    ing,sheis
    goingt ogetever
    y t
    hingIhavetogive.
    "

    Conf
    essi
    onsOfWi
    fe

    #121

    Atthepoli
    cest at
    ion,Tanwal kedinandlooked
    atLebothastandingwithCal vi
    nwhohadhi s
    arm onher.Hisangerreturnedashel ookedat
    them r
    eali
    zinghowt hisgir
    l hadjustt
    akenhim
    forafool.
    “
    Morena,gat
    weoi t
    ir
    il
    eJohnCena
    mongwanengyaanong?”
    “Il
    ostitandIwoul
    dli
    ketoapol
    ogi
    ze.Shei
    s
    cheat
    ingandIadmit,
    Ishoul
    dn’
    thavedone
    whatIdid.”
    “Igetthaty ouar
    esor r
    ybuty oucouldhave
    kil
    ledher .Howdoy oufightforasidedi
    shwhen
    youhav eabeaut i
    fulwifeli
    keyours?Why
    embar rassherinfrontofthewholeworldl
    ike
    thi
    s?”
    Tanl
    ookeddown.
    “Youseenowa?Youcheat edony ourwifewith
    awomanwhodoesn’ tevencar eabouty ouand
    l
    ef tt
    hewomanwhocar esabouty ou.Thatring
    ony ourfi
    nger,
    don’tyoufinditnicewhenj ust
    stari
    ngatitandjustgetthatfeelingofy ahno….
    Iam aman.Atchur ch,whent heysaymar r
    ied
    mengetup, don’tyougett hatrushofpr idein
    yourblood?Iam goingtobehonestwi t
    hy ou,I
    mar ri
    edmywi febecauseIl oveherandIst i
    lldo,
    twent yy earslat er.WhenIam wi thher,If
    eel
    nothingbutl ove.Kemaakahel awhenpeopl e
    sayev er ymencheat s, Idon’tcheatandIcan
    tel
    ly out his,eversi nceImetmywi feIhave
    nevercheat ed, notev enonedaybecauseIl ov e
    her,Iv alueher .Cheat ingi saset back,
    shei s
    sayingy ouboughtheracar ,thatmoneywoul d
    havebeenusedt odosomet hingthatwi l
    lbett
    er
    youandy ourwi f e’
    sliv es.Thi ngi sthatyoudon’ t
    appreci atewhaty ouhav eti
    ll youloseitandone
    dayy ouwi ll
    losewhaty ouhav eforever
    .This
    youngl adyispr essi ngchar gesofy ou
    att
    empt i
    ngt oki llherbyst rangl i
    ngher .
    ”
    “
    CanIt
    alkt
    oherpl
    ease?
    ”
    TanlookedatLebothaandsighed.“ Iam sorry
    forwhathashappened.Ipromisey ouitwi l
    l
    neverhappenagai
    n.Ilosti
    tandy ouar eright,
    I
    hadnor i
    ghttor
    eactthewayIdi d.Iam older
    andmor ematurethanyousother elati
    onship
    i
    tsel
    fwoul dn’
    twork.Iam alsosorr
    yfortry
    ingto
    getyoupregnant.Iwil
    lnevercomeany where
    cl
    osetoy ou,j
    ustforgi
    vemeandIpr omiseyou
    wil
    lneverseemyf aceinyoursight.
    ”
    Lebot
    halookedatCal
    vi
    nthenturnedtohi
    m.“
    I
    wantaretsr
    iani
    ngor
    deragai
    nsthim.”
    Thepol
    iceof
    fi
    cerl
    ookedatLebot
    ha.“
    Arey
    ou
    sur
    e?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Awhi l
    elat
    erLebothawalkedoutinhernew
    dressanddoseswi t
    hCalvi
    nwhowasont he
    phone.Heunlockedthecarthengotinhangi
    ng
    up.
    “
    Ishet
    heonl
    ymany
    ouwer
    eseei
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Rra?
    ”
    “
    Youhear
    dme.
    ”
    “
    Iwasf
    li
    rt
    ing-
    “
    “
    Breaki
    tall
    off
    .Idon’
    tshar
    eawomanandI
    won’
    thaveawhoreofawoman.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lbr
    eaki
    tof
    f.
    ”
    Hest artedthecaranddrov etoafi
    l
    li
    ngst ati
    on,
    hest eppedoutandspokebr i
    efl
    ywit
    hthef uel
    attendantthenwalkedinsidethest
    ore.Lebotha
    bl
    ockedmostcont act
    soft hemenshewas
    fl
    i
    r ti
    ngwi t
    hinherphonet henshetookadeep
    breathandcal l
    edherboyfriend.
    “
    Heybabe…”
    “Hey
    …Ihavebeenthi
    nkingandIt
    hinki
    t’
    sbesti
    f
    webreakup.I
    t’
    snotyou,i
    t’
    sme.Idon’
    tthi
    nkI
    am t
    hewomany ouneed.”
    “
    Whatar
    eyout
    alki
    ngabout
    ?”
    “Icheat
    edandIdon’
    tdeser
    veyou,youdeserv
    e
    someonewhowi l
    ll
    oveyoubecausey ouar
    ea
    goodmansoIhav etol
    etyougo.Pleasedon’
    t
    callmeort
    extme.Bye.
    ”
    Shehungupt henbl
    ockedhisnumberand
    del
    et edi
    t.Reli
    efwashedoverherassheputher
    phonedown.Cal vi
    nwalkedbackandgotinthe
    car.Hegav ethepl
    asti
    cdri
    vingaway.Lebot
    ha
    smiledstari
    nginsi
    de.
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Didy
    ouendal
    lyourf
    li
    ngs?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Good.
    ”

    *
    **

    Linatear
    full
    ysatinheroffi
    cestar
    ingatnothi
    ng,
    thedooropenedt henherphonerang,oneof
    herlawyerswalkedoutjustssheanswered.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Whathappened?
    ”
    “
    Aunt
    y,Tani
    scheat
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tknowwhatt
    odo.
    ”
    “Iknowyouarehur
    tbutIhopey
    ouar
    enot
    planni
    ngtol
    eavehi
    m.”
    “
    Whyshoul
    dIst
    ay?
    ”
    “Sohowmanyt imeswi l
    lyouleave?Mencheat
    ever
    yti
    meandt hatisthetrut
    h.Youknewhe
    wouldcheatbecauseofthedistance,I
    t’
    snot
    somethi
    ngthatshouldsurpri
    sey ou.
    ”
    “
    Ican’
    tjustmov
    e.”
    “Thatisthedecisionyourmot hertookwhen
    yourfatherfinal
    l
    ymett hewomani nMaunand
    madeherpr egnant.Shehadgot t
    enaj obasa
    preschoolteacherandi tpai
    dwel l
    .Shesaidshe
    wouldn’tmov eandt hattherel
    ati
    onshipwould
    j
    ustsur vi
    vebutlookwher ei
    tgother.”
    “
    It
    ’sdi
    ff
    erent
    ,Ihav
    eabusi
    nessIhav
    esetup.
    ”
    “
    Can’
    tyousetupanot
    herbr
    anch?
    ”
    “
    Ican.
    ”
    “Thenwhydi
    dn’
    tyoudothat?Doy
    ouv al
    ue
    Gaboronemor
    ethanyourownmarri
    age?”
    “
    Aunt
    y…”
    “
    Goaheadanddi
    vorcehim.That’
    sally
    ouknow,
    t
    odivor
    ceandl
    eave.Butforhowlongwil
    lyou
    l
    eav
    e?Askyour
    sel
    ft hat
    .”

    *
    **

    Ipar
    kedmycaratthepar
    kingl
    otandst
    epped
    outanswer
    ingmyphone.
    “
    Oteng,
    whati
    sit
    ?”
    “
    Whatt
    imear
    eyoucomi
    ngback?
    ”
    “Idon’
    tknow.Iam t
    akingmysi
    steroutf
    ora
    dayout.Maybelat
    er.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    oust
    il
    langr
    y?”
    “
    No.Ihav
    emov
    edon.
    ”
    “Cl
    ear
    lyyouhav
    en’
    t.Youjustl
    eft
    .Whatshoul
    dI
    dotoshowhowsorryIam babe?”
    “
    Ifor
    gav
    eyou,
    Idon’
    tknowwhyy
    ouar
    est
    il
    lon
    t
    hat.
    ”
    “
    Ithoughtwewoul
    dspendthedaytogether
    t
    odaybecauseMal
    cisget
    ti
    ngdischarged.”
    “Spendt i
    mewi thyourki
    ds!Youbarel
    ydothat
    .
    Bewi thyourkids,bondwit
    hthem andbea
    fatheryousaidy ouwoul
    dbe.Iam notint
    oday
    soi t
    ’sall
    ony ou.”
    “
    Ok,
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    Iwalkedovert
    oLi
    na’
    srecept
    ioni
    st.“
    Hi,
    ismy
    si
    sterin?
    ”
    “
    Yesbutshesai
    dsheshoul
    dn’
    tbedi
    stur
    bed.
    ”
    “
    IknowbutIam hesi
    ster
    .”
    Iwalkedtowar
    dsheroff
    iceandwal
    kedinj
    ust
    asinjustasLi
    naoutdownherphone.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    Shewi
    pedawayhert
    ear
    sandsmi
    l
    ed.“
    Hey
    .”
    Iwalkedov
    erandhuggedher.Linatookadeep
    breat
    hashethroathur
    t,shef
    inall
    yleti
    toutand
    brokedowncr
    ying.
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Ijustwantt
    ohav
    emyownki
    ds.
    ”
    “
    Youcanadopt ,
    ababyandy ouwil
    lrai
    seheras
    y
    ours.I
    t’
    spointl
    esstocr
    yforsomethingt
    hat
    y
    oucan’tchange.Come,l
    et’
    sgo.”
    Ihel
    pedherupthenwewalkedouttoget
    her
    .
    Li
    nalookedatmybodyhuggingbackl
    essdr
    ess.
    “
    Didheappr
    oveoft
    his?
    ”
    It
    urnedandl
    aughed.“
    Hedi
    dn’
    tseei
    t.
    ”
    Out
    sideIunl
    ockedmycart
    henwegoti
    n.Li
    na
    l
    ookedatme.
    “
    Youguy
    sar
    eok?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Hesay
    shei
    sont
    opofi
    tandIt
    rusthi
    m.”
    “
    Yourmanr
    eal
    l
    ydoesgetawaywi
    thmost
    t
    hings.
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“Leavemymanal one,
    hei
    ssmar
    tand
    al
    wayst
    wost epsahead.
    ”
    Idr
    oveoutandwentst
    raighttoBi
    na’
    sSpa.A
    whi
    lel
    aterwewalkedi
    nsidethespa,
    Bina
    l
    ookedatuswit
    hasmi l
    e.
    “
    Sor
    eal
    l
    yyouar
    epr
    egnant
    ?”
    Irol
    l
    edmyey es.“
    Takeuswher
    ewear
    e
    supposedt
    obe.”
    “
    Comet
    hisway
    .”
    Myphoner
    ang,
    Isi
    ghedanswer
    ing.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Thedoct
    ori
    sdi
    schar
    gingMal
    cri
    ghtnow.
    ”
    “
    Good.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyouguy
    sgoi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Justout
    .Iwi
    l
    lbeback.
    ”
    “
    YouknowIl
    ovey
    our
    ight
    ?”
    “Ot
    engIam get
    tingmybeautyt
    reat
    ment
    sdone
    andyouar
    edisturbi
    ngme.”
    “
    Youar
    edoi
    ngi
    tatBi
    na’
    sspa?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Happy
    ?”
    “
    Ijustwanty
    ousaf
    e,t
    hat
    ’sal
    l
    .”
    “
    Iam saf
    e.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Ihungupt
    henLi
    nal
    aughed.“
    Whatar
    eyou
    doingt
    ohi
    m?”
    “
    Otengyest
    erdayhel
    pedhi
    sexfuckbuddy
    whenherhusbandal
    mostki
    ll
    edher.
    ”
    Li
    nafr
    owned."
    Thatgi
    rlwhocameatt
    he
    weddi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Yes.shecalledhi
    m screamingforhel
    p,he
    wentwit
    ht hepoli
    cethenhadt odr
    opheroffat
    t
    hehospitalaft
    ershelostherbaby.
    ”
    Li
    nashookherhead.“
    Sheisgoi
    ngt
    opl
    ayt
    he
    emot
    ional
    cardtogethim.
    ”
    “
    Hesai
    dhei
    snotgoi
    ngt
    ospeakt
    oheragai
    n.”
    “
    Andy
    oubel
    i
    evehi
    m?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Eazi
    ,shewil
    lstar
    tcryi
    ngacti
    ngdepressedand
    hewillgotocomforther
    ,shewill
    take
    advantageoft
    hewhol esi
    tuat
    ion.
    ”
    “It
    rustOteng,whenhesayshewon’
    tdo
    something,hewon’tdoi
    t.
    ”
    “Hewil
    lsaywhat
    eversot
    haty
    oucanbel
    i
    eve
    him.
    ”
    Bi
    nasmi
    l
    ed.“
    Lina,
    gir
    lyouneedt
    oheal
    .Rel
    ax,
    l
    et’
    sdoy
    ournai
    l
    s.”
    Shelookedatmeandlaughed.“
    Iam sor
    ry.Iam
    sur
    ewhenhedoesn’tcheathewon’t
    .Don’t
    l
    ist
    entome.Iam broken.
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Thanky
    ouB!
    ”
    Twot her
    apistwal
    kedoverandstart
    edwi thour
    nai
    ls.Thi
    rtyminut
    esint
    oit,Ot
    engwal kedin.He
    ki
    ssedmyl ipshol
    dingabigbouquetofflowers.
    "
    Whydidn'
    tyout
    ell
    mewheny
    oul
    efti
    nthe
    mor
    ning?"
    "
    Youwer
    enott
    her
    e.Wher
    ear
    etheki
    ds?
    "
    "
    Int
    hecar
    ."
    Heki
    ssedmeagai
    n."
    Ibr
    oughty
    ouf
    lower
    s."
    "
    Thanks,
    theyar
    ebeaut
    if
    ul.
    "
    "
    Arey
    ousur
    eyouar
    efi
    ne?
    "
    "
    Iam f
    ine.
    "
    "
    Youar
    enotangr
    y?"
    Isi
    ghed."
    No.
    "
    Hefrenchki
    ssedmet
    hensmi
    kedmaki
    ngme
    bl
    ush.
    "
    Shar
    p!"
    Hewalkedoutt
    henBi
    nal
    aughedshaki
    ngher
    head.

    *
    **

    Tsot
    lhefi
    nishedpresent
    ingt
    oherbosswho
    l
    ookedimpr essed.
    “
    Ili
    ket
    his.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ouSi
    r.
    ”
    “
    Gett
    hegamest
    art
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Yessi
    r.
    ”
    Owenstoodupandwal
    kedtothedoorwit
    hher.
    Shel
    ookedathi
    m asheopenedthedoorf
    orher
    .
    Hest aredatherwonder ingwhatwoul dhappen
    i
    fhej usthel dheragai nstt hewal l
    ,fuckhert hen
    fi
    llherupandl ethergoasi fnot hinghappened.
    Actlikeherbossandgoonwi thhi sday .He
    closedt hedoorj ustassheappr oachedt hen
    shelookedathi m conf used.Owengr abbedher
    hairandki ssedherhar d.Tsot l
    hecl osedher
    eyesasheki ssedhersogoodherpant y
    drenchedwhi l
    eherni ppleshar dened.The
    roughnessseemedt ot urnheronandal lthat
    combi nedwi ththelustt hathadbeenbr ewi ng,
    shegotmor eandmor ear oused.Hepi ckedher
    upandpl acedheronhi st ablet henputhi shand
    i
    nsideherpant yandgr untedi nhermout h
    feeli
    ngherwet ness.Hef li
    ckedhercl itwhi l
    eshe
    moanedgr abbinghi sjacket .Hert inysof t
    moansmadehi m evenwayhar derhecoul djust
    bursthispant s.Hisphoner angt hehest epped
    backbr eathingheav i
    ly.
    “
    Youcango.
    ”
    Tsotlheslowlygotoffthetableandfi
    xed
    herselfthenwalkedoutwi thhert
    hrobbing
    pussy .I
    nherofficeshelockedthedoort hensat
    downpul l
    ingupherskirtandsli
    dherfingers
    i
    nsideherpant yandf i
    nishedthejobforhim.
    .
    .
    LikeIsai
    d,i
    fyoudon'
    tcommentwewil
    lset
    tl
    e
    foroneinser
    tperday
    ,wedon'
    tbegeachot
    her
    anymore.
    Thi
    sislastni
    ght
    'si
    nser
    tandt
    oday
    'smor
    ning
    i
    nsert
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #122

    Lat
    erthatevening,Angiel
    ookedatherman
    pl
    ayi
    ngwi t
    ht hekids,shet
    ookoutherphone
    andshotalivefacebookv i
    deowhi l
    etheyall
    l
    aughed.Tif
    anoki ssedhisdaughterthen
    conti
    nuedplayi
    ngwi ththei
    rson.Shewal ked
    overtothem t
    henki ssedhi
    m.
    “
    Guy
    s,sayhi
    tot
    hecamer
    a.”
    Ti
    fanol
    aughed.“
    Takethatt
    hingawayf
    rom us,
    wearehavi
    ngquali
    tyt
    imehere.
    ”
    “
    Justsayhi
    …”
    Loapi
    wav
    ed.“
    Hi!
    ”
    ShesmiledthenkissedTif
    anoagai
    nand
    walkedawaycut t
    ingthevi
    deo.I
    nsi
    dethe
    ki
    tchen,herphonerangthensheanswer
    ed.
    “
    Cousi
    e,soy
    ouar
    ebackt
    oget
    her
    ?”
    Angi
    elaughed.“
    Ist
    hatwhyy
    oucal
    l
    ed?
    ”
    “Yes,Ithoughthemov edonoryouar
    ejusta
    side?Imaginecomingf r
    om bei
    ngcal
    l
    eda
    girl
    fr
    iendtobeingaside.”
    Angi
    etookadeepbr
    eat
    h.“
    Thanksf
    orcal
    l
    ing
    cousi
    e,by
    e!”
    Shetookadeepbr
    eathhangi
    ngupt
    henpour
    ed
    her
    selfagl
    assofj
    uice.

    *
    **

    Meanwhi le,inCapet own,Ni shacl ickedont he


    videothatTi f
    anowast aggedi nt henv iewedi t
    withapoundi nghear t
    .Shet ookadeepbr eat h
    andputawayherphoneaway ,
    shehadal way s
    expectedi tandshewasact uall
    ygl adthi
    shad
    happened, nowshehadar ealreasont oendt he
    relat
    ionship.Sheputoutt heclot hesshewoul d
    wearatt hemeet ingt hefollowingday .Shet ook
    outhernewbl ackheel sandputt hem ont hen
    tookaf ewst epsst ari
    ngatherf eetwi thasmi l
    e.
    Asof tknocker uptedonherdoor , shetookof f
    theshoesandwal kedtot hedoor .Abewal ked
    andlookedather .
    “Iwantustogoovert
    omorrow’
    smeet
    ing
    detai
    ls.Thi
    sisi
    mport
    antt
    oussoweneedtobe
    prepared.
    ”
    “
    Ofcause.
    ”
    “
    Takeouty
    ourl
    apt
    op.
    ”
    Nishatookoutherl aptopwhi l
    eAbel ookedat
    hersmoot hlegs.Thistimear oundhewant edt
    o
    dothingsdiffer
    entl
    y,hewasgoi ngtogiveit
    ti
    me, norushing,j
    usttakingitslow.Nisha
    openedherl aptopsit
    ti
    ngt henlookedbackat
    hi
    m allinnocentandshy .
    “
    Iam r
    eady
    .”
    Hequi ckl
    ywentov eraf ewpointswhileshe
    typedonherl aptopkeepingupwi t
    hhim, you
    woul dneverknowi twast hesamemanwho
    hadbeenl aughingwi t
    hheri nt
    heplanewhenhe
    wasi nbusinessmode.Heal waysgotso
    seriousandincont rol
    ,atfir
    sti
    tscaredherbut
    thenshef ounditsexyast imewenton.There
    wasj ustsomethi
    ngaboutacl eangoodlooki
    ng
    mani nasuitwithaser i
    ouscharact
    er.She
    l
    ookedathi sli
    psrecall
    ingthatki
    sshehad
    givenher.Hadhelostinterest
    ?Ofcausehehad
    saidhewoul dkeepther el
    ati
    onshi
    p
    professi
    onalbutdi
    dt hatmeanhehadl ost
    i
    nterestinher?
    “
    Ok,
    gotal
    lthat
    ?”
    “
    Yessi
    r.
    ”
    Hesmi
    l
    edget
    ti
    ngup.“
    Seey
    out
    omor
    row.
    ”
    “
    Hegotbackwi
    thhi
    sex.
    ”
    Hel
    ookedather
    .“Thatwasqui
    ck.Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok,
    Iexpect
    edi
    t.
    ”
    “
    Wil
    lyoubef
    inet
    omor
    row?
    ”
    “Yes.Iam nott
    hathurt
    ,justrel
    i
    evedi
    t
    happenedsoonerthanlater
    .”
    “
    Wantahug?
    ”
    Heopenedhi sar
    ms, Nishashyl
    ywalkedover
    andgotinthosearms, God!Hesmeltsogood,
    nottheroll
    onshewasusedt osmell
    ingona
    manandhi shugwasf irm.Sherel
    axedinhi
    s
    armswi t
    hasigh.Justthatmanlyhugged
    managedt owetherpant y
    .Hesteppedback
    minuteslat
    erandsmiled.
    “
    Goodnow?
    ”
    Shesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Shar
    paker
    e?”
    “
    Ng…”
    Heti
    lt
    edherchi
    nandkissedhert
    henwhisper
    ed
    onherl
    ips.“
    Whati
    sthat?Il
    ikef
    ull
    answers.
    ”
    “
    Iam f
    ine.
    ”
    “
    Goodni
    ght
    .”
    Hewalkedout
    .Nishaputherhandsonherf
    ace
    smi
    li
    nglikear
    etarded.
    *
    **

    Onthesameev
    eni
    ng,
    Ipar
    kedmycari
    nfr
    ontof
    Li
    na’
    sgate.
    “
    Wil
    lyoubef
    ine?
    ”
    Li
    nasmi
    l
    ed.“
    Yes,
    thanksf
    ort
    oday
    .Ineededi
    t.
    ”
    “
    Sodi
    dI.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    ouusr
    eyouwantt
    obeal
    onet
    oni
    ght
    ?”
    “Iwi
    ll
    befineEazi
    ,gotoyourhusbandandki
    ds.
    Theyarewait
    ingf
    oryou.
    ”
    Ihuggedhert
    ight
    ly.“
    Iam her
    eok?Youcan
    al
    way scal
    l
    .”
    “
    Iknow,
    thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Shesteppedoutt
    hendr
    ovehomeanswer
    ing
    myringi
    ngphone.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi,
    it’
    sPenny
    .”
    “
    Oh.
    .”
    “Iwant
    edt oapologizeforwhathappened.Iget
    andunderstandy ouareupsetandIdon’tbl
    ame
    youbutIam sosor ry.Imadeami stakeand
    thatmi
    stakealmostki ll
    edal
    lthekidsbutknow
    i
    twasn’tonpur pose.”
    “
    Ihear
    dyou.Theki
    dsar
    enowhome.
    ”
    “
    Ihear
    d,Iam sogl
    adt
    heyar
    eok.
    ”
    “Soam IbutIdon’tthi
    nkIam evergoi
    ngto
    trusty
    ouwi thmykidsanyti
    mesoon.Youwi l
    l
    understandmeonedayaf tery
    ougivebir
    thto
    yourownki ds.By
    e.”
    Ihungupwithasi ghappr
    oachingaredt
    raff
    ic
    l
    ight.Thedr
    iverbesi
    demer ol
    leddownhis
    windowstar
    ingatme.
    “
    Mrs.T!
    ”
    Il
    ookedathi
    m andl
    aughed.“
    Cal
    vi
    nweh!
    ”
    “
    Heybeaut
    if
    ul…soy
    oul
    eftmycousi
    ntol
    ook
    hotst
    il
    l?
    ”
    “
    Yourcousi
    nlef
    tme.
    ”
    Hesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Hest
    il
    ll
    ovesy
    ou.
    ”
    Iwavedmyl efthandshowi
    nghi m mysparkl
    i
    ng
    ri
    ng.“Someonecl ai
    medme, byeCal!
    ”Ist
    epped
    ontheacceler
    atorasthetr
    affi
    cli
    ghtchanged
    togreenspeedingaway.

    *
    **

    Linastoodi nsidehersi l
    enthousethensat
    downonhercouchst ari
    ngatherwal ls.Tears
    fi
    lledherey esasshet houghtofthebet r
    ayal,
    thepai nfeltsophysical,i
    twasasi fthepai n
    waschoki ngher.Aloudcr yescapedt hrough
    herlips,sheputherhandsonherf acecr y
    ing.
    “
    Mama!Myhear
    t…Mama!
    ”
    Sheknel
    tont
    hef
    loorcr
    ying,
    thepai
    nwasso
    muchitsuffocat
    edher
    .Sheslowl
    ygotupand
    tookherphonethent
    appedGina’
    snumber.The
    phonerangassheputherhandoverhermouth.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Iam sorr
    yIhurtyou, y
    out reatedmelikea
    daughterandIbetrayedy oui ntheworst
    possibl
    emanner .Ihurtyoubey ondmeasur
    e
    andIam sor r
    yfr
    om t hebott om ofmyheart
    .
    Pleaseforgi
    veme.Fi nditiny ourhear
    tto
    forgi
    veme. ”
    “
    Lina?
    ”
    “Forgiv
    eme…pl easeforgi
    veme.Ishoul dhav e
    l
    ongdonet hi
    sbutpl easeforgiveme.Iam sorry
    Irui
    nedy ourmar ri
    age,Iam sorryIcausedar i
    ft
    i
    ny ourfami lythatyouspenty earsputti
    ng
    together.Iam sor r
    yIwasnev erremorseful
    .”
    “
    Lina-
    “
    “
    Iam sor
    ry,
    pleasef
    orgi
    veme.
    ”
    “
    Ilongf
    orgav
    eyou,
    formypeace.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “If
    orgav
    eyou,
    for
    giv
    eyour
    sel
    fsoy
    oucanmov
    e
    on.”
    “Anot
    hermar
    ri
    agei
    sfai
    l
    ing,
    Ican’
    thol
    don
    anymore.
    ”
    “
    Whathappened?
    ”
    “
    Hecheat
    edandhewant
    sadi
    vor
    ce.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’skar
    ma.
    ”
    “Therei
    snothingli
    kekarma.Lifechallengesar e
    notkarmabutsomet hingthatisjustapar tof
    l
    ife.Youwil
    lsaykarmawhensomeonewho
    l
    ivesoffhurt
    ingpeoplegetstoenj oyt
    heirlif
    e
    l
    iketheyareGod’sfavori
    te.Thereisnothinglike
    karma.”
    “
    Godi
    spuni
    shi
    ngme,
    all
    Iwanti
    stohav
    eki
    ds.
    ”
    “YesandGodhasawayj ustt
    haty oudon’ twant
    toseeit.therearekidsouttherealsoy earni
    ng
    foramot herandt heyareinorphanages.You
    couldadopt .Iknowy ouarehurti
    ngbuty ouare
    themostst rongestpersonIhaveev erseen,
    mencheatal lt
    hetimebutdon’tstayf orthat
    nonsense.Knowy ourwor t
    h,l
    eavei fit
    ’snot
    working.
    ”
    “
    Eemma.
    ”
    “
    Ilongf
    orgav
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Eemma.
    ”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Li
    nal ookedatherphonef oramomentr ecall
    ing
    j
    usthowLebot hahadrespondedtoher,it
    ’sl
    ike
    shedi dn’
    tcareatall
    .Butthentheideaof
    adoptingherownchi l
    dsoundedappealingthat
    shewonder edwhyshehaddr oppediti
    nthe
    fi
    rstplace.Shesmiledthentookherphoneand
    star
    tedherr esear
    ch.
    *
    **

    Tinogotinbedthenki
    ssedTsot l
    he’
    sneck
    pull
    ingherpant
    ytotheside.Tsotl
    hemovedhi
    s
    hand.
    “
    BabeIam t
    ir
    ed,
    Ihadt
    ogot
    o-“
    “
    Shhhi
    t’
    smyt
    ime.
    ”
    Het ookouthi sdickandsl i
    di nf rom theback.
    Hegav ehersl owst rokes, Tsot l
    hemoaned
    softyclosi
    ngherey esasapi ctureofOwen
    camebackt oher .Sher eliev edt hatmomentat
    theof f
    icegetti
    ngwet t
    erwhi l
    ehesl idinandout
    mor eeasily
    .Tsotlhepi ctur edt hosel ipsonher
    withhishandf li
    ckinghercl i
    t.Owengr untedi
    n
    herearhi t
    ti
    nghersweetspot .Shemoaned
    l
    oudl ygrabbingthesheet s, herey esturnedas
    hertoescur l
    ed.Hi sdickf ill
    edherupsobad
    witheacht hrust
    ,thegent lest r
    okesgonenow
    repl
    acedwi
    thdeepfaststr
    okesthatpushedher
    overtot
    heedge.Shespasmedonhi mt henhe
    gaveheracoupl
    emor ethr
    ustandreleased.
    “
    Fuck!
    ”
    Tsot
    lhesnappedoutofitli
    steni
    ngt
    oTino’
    s
    voi
    ce.Hesli
    doutthenturnedherar
    oundand
    ki
    ssedher.
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    Shesmi ledfeel
    i
    nggui l
    ty,t
    hismanhaddone
    every
    thingforher,hetookcar eofherandher
    famil
    y,lovedhersomuch, gotherever
    ythi
    ng
    shecoul deverwant,hedidn’tdeser
    vebeing
    cheatedon.Tearsf i
    l
    ledherey esasmor egui
    lt
    y
    suppressedher.“Il
    ovey outoo.”
    “
    Arey
    ouok?
    ”
    “
    Ijustl
    ovey
    ouandappr
    eci
    atey
    ou.
    ”
    Hekissedherf
    oreheadandsi
    ghedhol
    dingher
    i
    nhisarms.
    *
    **

    Iwal
    kedi
    nsi
    dethehouset
    henMal
    csmi
    l
    ed
    st
    ari
    ngatme.
    “
    Mama!
    ”
    Iwalkedovert
    ohi
    m andpul
    l
    edhi
    mforat
    ight
    hug.“Heymyboy…”
    Hel
    aughed.“
    Youar
    esqueezi
    ngme.
    ”
    Imov
    edbackandlaughedwhi
    leAl
    anacl
    i
    mbed
    onmylap.“
    Wher
    eisdaddy?”
    “
    Cooki
    ng.
    ”
    “
    HeyKy
    …”
    Shecl
    imbedonmesi tti
    ngbesi
    dehersi
    ster
    .“He
    i
    sburningandIam soooohungr
    yIcoul
    deatan
    el
    ephant.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    letmegoseehowhei
    sdoi
    ng.
    ”
    Iputt hem downandwal kedtot hekit
    chen
    wher eOtenghadonanapr onst i
    rr
    inghispot.I
    smi l
    edst ar
    ingathi
    m mov ingaroundt he
    ki
    tchent ryi
    ngtokeepevery t
    hingundercontrol
    .I
    l
    ookedathi ssexybackthenhet urnedtome
    holdinghalfatomatoe.Hesmi l
    edandwal ked
    overt henhuggedme.
    “
    Heymama…”
    “
    Iam hungr
    y,howl
    ongdoIwai
    tti
    l
    lIgett
    oeat
    ?”
    “Justwait.
    ”Heki ssedmehar dsendi ngaf l
    ame
    allovermybody .Isli
    dmyhandi nsidehist-shi
    rt
    andtouchedhi sabst henunzippedhi spants.I
    slowlywentdownmykneest akingouthi sbig
    dickandstrokedhi m whil
    ehel ookedatthe
    doorwi t
    hawor ri
    edl ook.It
    ookoutt hehall
    sin
    mybr aandpoppedi tinmymout h.
    “
    Theki
    ds-
    “
    Iopenedmymouthandlethi
    m sl
    idi
    n.Ist
    art
    ed
    mov i
    ngjustl
    i
    keBi
    nahadinst
    ruct
    ed.
    “
    Fuccck!Whar
    ri
    sthi
    s?”
    Ibobbedmyheadonhi m whil
    ehegr unt
    edand
    moanedt r
    yingt okeepitlow,hegr
    abbedmy
    hairt
    henstartedf ucki
    ngmymout h.Tearsf i
    ll
    ed
    myey esashet appedthebackofmyt hroat
    overandovert henhegav emeonel astthrust
    shott
    inghi
    sl oad.
    “
    Ahhhf
    ucky
    eah…”
    Hesl owlysidoutofmymout hwhileI
    swallowedev eryt
    hingthenIgotupandpacked
    i
    sdi ckbacki nhispants,cl
    osedhiszi
    pand
    walkedoutgr abbinganapple.Theint
    ercom
    rangt henIwalkedoutsideholdi
    ngthegate
    remot e.Ipr
    essedt hegateremoteandwatched
    asRebaonewal kedin.
    “
    Hi…”
    “Hey
    ,Ihear
    daboutt
    hefir
    ebutIwasnotar
    ound,
    canIseemydaught
    er?
    ”
    “
    Yeahofcause.Letmegoandgether
    .”
    Iwalkedbacki
    nsi
    dethehouse.“
    Ky,
    come,
    your
    othermommyishere.
    ”
    Kyragotoffthecouchandwal kedover
    .
    Rebaonepickedherwithasmi lewhi
    l
    eIwalked
    backinsi
    dethehousegi v
    ingthem amoment.A
    whil
    elaterKywalkedinsi
    dethehouse,Iwent
    outandlookedather.
    “
    Thanky
    ouf
    orl
    ett
    ingmeseeher
    .”
    “
    Youar
    ewel
    come.
    ”
    “
    Cogr
    atul
    ati
    onsont
    hebaby
    .”
    “
    Thanks,
    bye.
    ”
    ShewalkedoutthenIcl
    osedthegat
    eandt he
    doorj
    ustasOtengwalkedoutfr
    om theki
    tchen.
    “
    Whatdi
    dshewant
    ?”
    “Shewantedt
    oseeKy
    ,shewasn’
    tint
    he
    count
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Ok.Cany
    ouhel
    pmebabe?
    ”
    Ishookmyheadmaki ngmywayt othe
    bedroom.“Nah!Youar eonyourowntoday
    .Be
    thefamilymanyouv owedtobeandcookf orus.
    Iam hungry,t
    hebabyishungry,t
    hekidsar
    e
    hungry.Chop-
    chop!Fastfast
    !”
    Iwalkedi
    nsi
    det
    hebedr
    oom t
    hentookaqui
    ck
    showerandl
    ayont
    hebedhol
    dingmynovel
    .

    7MONTHSLATER.
    ..
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #123

    Mapul
    apar
    kedhert
    henr
    anherl
    i
    pst
    ickonher
    l
    ipsagainbef
    oresteppi
    ngouthol
    dingher
    handbagandlapt
    opbag.Shecatwalkedinsi
    de
    thebui
    ldi
    ngandsmi l
    edatt
    hereceptioni
    st.
    “
    Hey
    ….”
    “
    Thebosswant
    stoseey
    ouasi
    nnow.
    ”
    “Igotcal
    l
    edwhenIwasst
    il
    lhomebyhi
    sPA,
    am
    Igett
    ingfi
    red?
    ”
    Ther
    ecept
    ioni
    stl
    aughed.“
    No,
    Idoubt
    .”
    “
    Iam scar
    ed,
    letmeputt
    hisdownandgo.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “Bytheway,t
    heladywhosel
    l
    stheweav
    eswas
    herebutshehadtorusht
    owork.
    ”
    “Wheredoesshework?MaybeIcangot
    her
    e
    duri
    nglunch.Ineedt
    hatwi
    g,t
    oni
    ght’
    sev
    ent
    s
    needsit
    .”
    “
    Tel
    lmeabouti
    t.Shewor
    ksatOsWor
    ld.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    ltal
    ktoher
    .”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Mapulawal
    kedtoheroff
    icethendroppedher
    t
    hingsandwal
    kedoutlocki
    ngbehindher.She
    madeherwaytoTendai’
    soffi
    cethenshe
    l
    ookedathi
    sPA.
    “
    Tshepi
    ,what
    ’sgoi
    ngon?Am If
    ir
    ed?
    ”
    Tshepi
    smi
    l
    ed.“
    Justgeti
    n.”
    “
    Aowmma,
    hint
    ’ny
    ana…”
    “
    Ngng,
    goandheari
    tfr
    om hi
    m.Hei
    swai
    ti
    ng
    f
    ory
    ou.
    ”
    Mapulatookadeepbr
    eatht
    henwalkedin.
    Tendail
    ookedupandcl
    osedhi
    slaptopsli
    ght
    ly
    st
    aringather
    .
    “
    Goodmor
    ningSi
    r,
    ”
    “
    Sit
    .”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Mapul
    asatdownandl
    ookedatherboss.
    “Youhavebeenher
    eforsol
    ongandyouhav
    e
    nevermademequesti
    onyourj
    obory
    ourski
    ll
    s.”
    Mapul
    a’
    sheartbegunpoundi
    ng.Wher
    ewashe
    goi
    ngwit
    hthi
    s?
    “
    Yourcont
    racti
    scomi
    ngt
    oanendi
    sn’
    tit
    ?”
    “
    YesSi
    r,onMonday
    .”
    Tendai
    handedheradocument
    .Mapulal
    ooked
    athi
    mt henr
    eadthr
    oughit
    .Shesmi
    led.
    “
    Youar
    epr
    omot
    ingme?
    ”
    “Yesandi ncreasi
    ngyoursal
    arybutt
    hat’
    snot
    therealreasonIcall
    edyou.Wehappentoneed
    yourservicesattheRealEst
    atecompany.I
    don’tknowi fyouwil
    lmanagebothcompanies.
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    Icangi
    vei
    tat
    ryandl
    et’
    sseei
    fIcando
    i
    t.
    ”
    “Ok,
    gother
    etodayandspeaktoTino.Iwil
    l
    expl
    aint
    otheHRthatyouareateam play
    er.
    ”
    Mapul
    asmi
    l
    ed.“
    Thanky
    ousomuch.
    ”
    “
    That
    ’sal
    l
    .”
    “
    Yessi
    r.
    ”
    Mapul
    astoodup,Tendai
    smi
    l
    ednot
    ici
    ngt
    he
    r
    ingonherfi
    nger
    .
    “
    Congr
    atul
    ati
    ons!
    ”
    Mapul
    alookedathi
    mthenatherr
    ing.“
    Thanks.
    ”
    “
    Ihopehet
    reat
    syour
    ight
    .Youar
    eagood
    woman.
    ”
    “Hedoesbutt
    hanks.Congr
    atul
    ati
    onsony
    our
    engagementt
    oo.
    ”
    Shewalkedoutwthhernewcontr
    actand
    winkedatTshepi
    wholaughedgiv
    inghera
    thumbsup.Herphonerangassoonasshegot
    i
    nherof f
    icet
    henshefi
    shedfori
    tinher
    handbag.
    “
    Heybabe…”
    “
    Iam t
    ell
    i
    ngOwent
    oday
    .”
    “
    Heknows,
    Iam t
    ell
    i
    ngy
    ou.
    ”
    “HemightbutIsti
    llwantt
    otel
    lhi
    m andgett
    he
    negot
    iat
    ionsstar
    ted.”
    “Ok.Ihav
    esomenews,
    Iwi
    l
    ltel
    lyouwhenIget
    home.”
    “
    Ok,
    soundsexci
    ti
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Iti
    sexci
    ti
    ng,
    wewi
    l
    ltal
    k.”
    “
    Lunch?
    ”
    “
    No,
    Iam busyt
    oday
    .”
    “
    Ok.Il
    ovey
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    Mapul ahungupwi t
    hasmi l
    eandputherphone
    downr eadi
    ngthroughhercontr
    actagai
    n.She
    reachedforherpenandsigned.

    *
    **
    Li
    nal ookedatTanincour
    tandsighedlooki
    ng
    ahead.Iheldherhandandsqueezedit
    .The
    courtwentonforawhilethenweallgotupand
    walkedoutsmi l
    i
    ng.
    “
    Thatwentwel
    l
    .”
    “
    Iknowandtot
    hinkatf
    ir
    stIdidn’
    twantt
    oget
    marr
    iedi
    ncommunit
    yofproperty
    !”
    “
    Youdi
    dy our
    sel
    faf
    avor
    .Howdoesi
    tfeel
    bei
    ng
    adi
    vor
    cee?”
    Shelaughed.“
    Iam r
    eadyt
    ogoandgetmybaby
    Eazi
    .”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    laccompanyy
    ou.
    ”
    “Ngng,youareabouttopop,Iam dr
    oppi
    ngy
    ou
    offathome.Yourauntdi
    dn’tevenwanty
    out
    o
    come.”
    Ir
    oll
    edmyey estouchi
    ngmybump.Linahelped
    meinthecarthenwalkedr
    oundandgoti
    n.I
    l
    ookedatmyphoneexpectingt
    oseeami ssed
    cal
    loramessagebutt
    her
    ewasnot
    hingasy
    et.
    “
    Ever
    ythi
    ngok?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Li
    nast
    art
    edt
    hecaranddr
    oveof
    f.
    “
    Passbyt
    hemal
    l
    ,Iwantt
    ogetaf
    ewt
    hings.
    ”
    “Ok.Soyouarereal
    l
    ygoi
    ngt
    ogi
    vebi
    rt
    hwi
    thout
    knowingthegender
    ?”
    “
    It
    ssupposedt
    ocomeasasur
    pri
    se.
    ”
    Li
    na’sphoner
    angt
    hensheanswer
    edonl
    oud
    speaker
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Canwet
    alk?
    ”
    “Igav
    eyouwhaty
    ouwant
    ed,
    what
    ’swr
    ongnow
    Tan?”
    “
    Ijustwant
    edt
    oapol
    ogi
    ze.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok,youmadeitcl
    earyoudi
    dn’twantthe
    r
    elat
    ionshi
    panymorebecausei
    tli
    mitsyou,
    t
    hat
    ’sok.
    ”
    “
    Itdoesn’
    tmeanIdon’
    tlov
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Li
    nahungupandl eanedbackonherseat
    dri
    ving.Iputmyhandonmyst omachasthe
    babymov ed.Li
    naparkedthecaratt
    heparki
    ng
    l
    ot.Shehel pedmeoutt henwebothwal
    ked
    i
    nsidethemal l
    .
    “
    Ifor
    gotmyphonei
    nthecar
    ,Iam comi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Sherushedbackt ot hecarwhil
    eIgotina
    cl
    othi
    ngst orelooki
    ngar ound.Aladywal
    ked
    pastmet alki
    ngont hephone.
    “Iam get
    ti
    ngt heshoesnow, Iwi l
    lbedonejust
    now…”Shel aughed.“Iam comi ng.
    ”Shehung
    upthenshepi ckedsomeshoesandwentt o
    paywhileIl
    ookedatsomedr essesthatwoul
    d
    l
    ookgoodonmeaf terthepregnancy.Abe
    walkedinandwal kedtothet i
    l
    l wheret
    helady
    waspay i
    ngt henhuggedherf rom behi
    nd
    ki
    ssingherneck.Myhear tskippedasIlooked
    atthem,hehandedt hetell
    erhiscard.Seconds
    l
    atertheybotht urnedtowal kout,shewas
    beauti
    fulandy oung.Iswallowedal umpasAbe
    gaveheraf eenchki ssthenhewhi sper
    ed
    somethingagai nstherl
    ipsmaki ngherblush
    l
    aughing.
    Ilookedatmyfaceonthestoremirror
    sthen
    rubbedmylipst
    ogetherandwalkedwiththe
    dressIhadbeenhol
    dingtothetil
    lpassi
    ngby
    them.Ismil
    edasAbel ookedatme.
    “
    Hi!
    ”
    Thel
    adylookedatmethenatAbewhost
    il
    lkept
    hi
    shandsonher.“Hi
    ,howareyou?
    ”
    “
    Iam f
    iney
    our
    sel
    f?”
    “
    Igood,
    niceseei
    ngy
    ou.
    ”
    Inoddedt
    henhewal
    kedoutwi
    thhi
    sgi
    rl
    fr
    iend
    whil
    eLi
    nawal
    kedi
    n.Shel
    ookedatmet
    henat
    Abe.
    “
    Whatwer
    eyout
    alki
    ngabout
    ?”
    “
    Not
    hing,
    Iwasj
    ustgr
    eet
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Hisgi
    rl
    fr
    iendi
    sreal
    l
    ypr
    ett
    y.”
    “Andyoung.Wil
    lshemanagetheki
    ds?The
    houseandhim.Hehasahugesexappeti
    teand
    witht
    hekids,If
    eelheshoul
    dhavewentf
    or
    someoneabitolder.
    ”
    “
    Shei
    snott
    haty
    oung.
    ”
    “Iknowbutwillshebeabl
    etounder
    standt
    he
    kids?Under
    standhim?”
    “
    Arey
    ouj
    eal
    ous?
    ”
    “Ofwhat?Iam happyhei
    smov
    ingon,
    just
    putt
    ingoutmyconcerns.
    ”
    “Abel
    oveshi
    ski
    dsandIam sur
    ehewil
    lchoose
    someonewhom het
    rust
    swi
    ththem.
    ”
    Il
    ookedatherandsmi
    l
    ed.“
    Youar
    eri
    ght
    .”
    “
    Arey
    out
    aki
    ngt
    hat
    ?”
    Iputt
    hedr
    essdown.“
    No,
    let
    ’sgo.WhatIwant
    i
    snother
    e.”

    *
    **

    Nishagoti
    nthecarwit
    hAbethenshel
    ookedat
    hershoeswhi
    ldhedroveaway
    .
    “Ar
    eyousti
    l
    lgoi
    ngf
    orPhemel
    o’sbr
    idal
    shower
    ?”
    “
    Yes.ThoughIam scaredIwil
    lfeel
    outofpl
    ace
    wi
    thallherdoct
    orf
    riendsther
    e.”
    “Waaishedoesn’
    thav
    emuchfr
    iends,
    shehas
    onefr
    iendfr
    om workandy
    ou.
    ”
    Ni
    sha’sphoner
    angasAbeputhi
    shandonher
    t
    high.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Iam comi
    ngt
    oGabor
    onet
    oni
    ght
    .”
    “
    Oh…”
    “
    Yes,
    Iwi
    l
    ltel
    lyouwhenIgett
    obusr
    ank.
    ”
    “
    Ok,butIam goi
    ngf
    orafunct
    iont
    oni
    ghtsoy
    ou
    wi
    ll
    havetogetacabtomyhouse.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Nishadroppedhersist
    er'
    scall
    .Minut
    eslater
    AndparkedinfrontofNisha'
    shousethen
    ki
    ssedher.
    "Someonewil
    ldropoffy
    ourdr
    essl
    ateronand
    alsosor
    toutyourmake-
    up.
    "
    "
    Ok.
    "
    "
    Iwil
    lpickyouupaft
    er.
    "Hekissedheragai
    n
    t
    henlookedinherey
    es."Il
    oveyou.
    "
    "
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    "
    Heki
    ssedherandl
    ethergo.Ni
    shast
    eppedout
    wit
    hashoppingbag.Abewat
    chedherwalk
    i
    nsidehergat
    etoherhouset
    henhedrov
    eaway
    answeri
    ngSadi'
    scal
    l.
    "
    Yes?
    "
    "
    CanIpl
    easeseemyson?
    "
    "Youcancomeandseehim butdur
    ingt
    heday
    becauseIwoul
    dwanthi
    m backinmyhouse."
    "
    Abey ouknowIdon'tst
    ayi
    nGaborone.Ial
    so
    wanthimtoconnectwit
    hhi
    ssi
    bli
    ng."
    "
    Youhear
    dme,
    Iam notr
    epeat
    ingmy
    sel
    f.
    "
    Shesni
    ffed."
    Imightgot
    ojai
    lforat
    tempt
    ed
    murder
    .Pleasel
    etmeseemyson. "
    "Yougoi
    ngt
    ojai
    lisnotmybusi
    ness.Iam not
    changi
    ngmymind."
    Hehungupandcal
    l
    edanumber
    .
    "
    Judy
    'sCol
    l
    ect
    ionhel
    l
    o?"
    "
    Hi,
    thi
    sisAbe,
    Ical
    l
    edear
    li
    eron.
    "
    "
    Ohhy
    es!
    "
    "
    Didy
    ougett
    hedr
    ess?
    "
    "
    Yes.
    "
    "
    Someonei
    sgoingt
    ocomeandcol
    l
    ecti
    t
    t
    oget
    herwi
    tht
    heshoes.
    "
    "
    Ok.
    "

    *
    **

    Iwal
    kedinsi
    det
    hehouseandsatdownwi
    tha
    si
    gh.Aunti
    ewal
    kedover
    .
    "
    Howdi
    ditgo?
    "
    "
    Wel
    l
    .Thedi
    vor
    cewasf
    inal
    i
    zed.
    "
    Aunt
    iesatdown."I
    t'sreall
    yamazinghowt he
    newgenerat
    ioncanj ustwalkoutofmarri
    age
    whennotappreci
    ated.Longbackt her
    ewasno
    l
    eavi
    ng,wewer et
    oldt hatyoustaybecause
    generallyall mencheat .Youst ayandbeawi fe.
    Youst aywhet herhecheat s,whet herheabuses
    you,whet herhebr i
    ngsdi seases, youst aystil
    l.
    Alotofwomendi edbackt henbecausewe
    weret oldhol dont oourmar r
    iages, wewer e
    tol
    dt olookawaywhenhedoesn' trespector
    appreciatey ou.Wewer et oldt obat hev enmor e,
    doy ourhai randal otwhenact uallyitwasnev er
    ourfaults.Iwi llneverencour agey ouorany
    womant ost aywher eyoudon' tbelong.Ot a
    swelamasepaont seor eleny alolai t
    sokelwa,
    yes,youper severef oryourmar ri
    agebutt here
    i
    sal imitt oev erything.Ifeel hadsomeonet old
    met hisIwoul dhav enev erstil
    l bewher eIam
    butstill
    Iam gl adIwal kedawayatt heend.Yes,
    theygoar oundcal l
    ingmenamesbutmypeace
    andhappi nesscomesf irst."Shehel dmyhand
    andsmi l
    ed." Yourhappi nessandpeacemy
    babyshoul dbey ourpr i
    or i
    ty.Iam notsay i
    ng
    walkoutofy ourmar ri
    agebecauseofev er
    y
    mistake, somet i
    mespeopl ewemakemi stakes,
    nott ohurtothersbuti thappenseitherway,you
    l
    ear ntoforgi
    v esot hathecanal sobeabl eto
    forgive,
    youtolerate,youl earnpati
    ence,you
    l
    ear ntocompr omi sesot hathet oocanlearn
    thesame.Rel ationshipsar e50/50,bothpart
    ies
    hav etotryandmakei twor k,notonlyone
    person.Yourf eetareswol l
    en,l
    etmesoak
    them. "
    Shest oodupanddi sappear
    edt othebedr oom
    whi l
    eIsatont hecoucht houghtful
    ly.Minutes
    l
    at erAuntiecamebackwi t
    hmyf ootspaand
    fi
    ll
    edi twithwaterthensoakedmyf eet
    massagi ngthem.It ookmyphoneandt r
    ied
    calli
    ngOt engbuthisphonest i
    llwasn'tgoing
    through.Isighedre-savedAbe'snumberand
    textedhim.
    Me:NewGi
    rl
    fr
    iendal
    ready Whathappenedt
    o
    Renei
    ?
    Abe:
    Webr
    okeup I
    '
    mtr
    yingt
    omov
    eon!
    Me:
    Uhu,
    whatdi
    dIsay
    ? Justaski
    ng.
    Abe:
    Ilov
    ethi
    sone
    Me:
    Alr
    eadysai
    dthatf
    ort
    hir
    iwomen,
    thi
    ri
    !
    Abe:
    Thi
    sti
    meIam ser
    ious.
    Me:Youareal
    waysser
    ious.Iwantt
    oseey
    ou,
    j
    usttomakesure.
    Abe:
    Osi
    mol
    otseaker
    e okaeEscobar
    ?
    Me:
    Ket
    e?
    Abe:
    Iam al
    readywai
    ti
    ng.
    Il
    ookedatAunt
    y."Aunt
    ie,
    Ihavet
    odr
    op
    somethi
    ngatafr
    iend'
    shouse.
    "
    "Didn'
    tOtengsayhedoesn'
    twantyoudr
    ivi
    ng.
    Heal mosther
    eandhecan'tfi
    ndyouwonderi
    ng
    around."
    "
    Iwi
    l
    lbebackj
    ustnow.I
    t'
    snotf
    ar.
    "
    "
    Eazi
    ..
    ."
    "
    Iwi
    l
    lbebacki
    naf
    ewmi
    nut
    es.I
    t'
    simpor
    tant
    .I
    hadpr
    omi
    sedher
    ."
    Isteppedoutofthef ootspaandwal kedtothe
    bedr oom Iqui
    ckl
    yfixedmy self
    .Whoev erhad
    saidwomencan' tlooksexywhenpr egnant
    definit
    elyhadaroughpr egnancy.If
    ixedmyhair
    thenputmyshoesandwal kedout.
    "
    Iwi
    l
    lbebackj
    ustnow.
    "
    Aunt
    iel
    ookedatmyshor
    tblackdr
    ess."
    War
    e
    wakae?(Wher
    eareyougoi
    ngagain?
    )"
    "
    Keet
    a,(
    Iam comi
    ng.
    )it
    'scl
    oseby
    ."
    Iwal
    kedt
    omycart
    hensmi
    l
    edr
    ever
    sing.

    *
    **

    Otengsmil
    edthinkingofthesurpr
    isehehadfor
    hi
    swi f
    e,j
    ustt
    hinkingabouthowherr eacti
    on
    wasgoingtobemadehi m smil
    e.Shewas
    pr
    obablygoi
    ngtobehav elikeateenager,
    hug
    himt houghthatbumpwoul ddef i
    nit
    elystandin
    theway .Thetwi nkl
    einhereyeswouldshi ne
    mor ebright
    er,hesighedhappil
    y.Nowwi t
    hthe
    kidsathi sf
    ather'shousehewouldreally
    pamperherbef oreshegavebir
    thwhi chwas
    possiblyanyti
    menow.
    Het houghtofthet al
    khehadhadwi thhis
    fat
    herr eali
    zi
    ngjusthowr i
    ghthewas.Al i
    ttl
    e
    wisdom hadt odoher eandther
    e.Hepar kedhis
    carmi nuteslat
    erthensteppedoutwiththebox
    andf l
    ower sandmadehi swayinsidehishouse.
    Eazi'
    sAuntl ookedathim.
    "
    Son.
    ..
    "
    "
    Ma,
    howar
    eyou?
    "
    "
    Iam f
    ine.
    "
    Hel
    ookedar
    ound.
    "Shei
    ssl
    eepi
    ng?
    "
    "No,
    shejustl
    eft
    ,shesai
    dsheisdroppi
    ng
    somethi
    ngatafri
    end'
    shouse.Shewil
    lbeback
    i
    nmi nut
    es.
    "
    "
    Shei
    sdr
    ivi
    ng?
    "
    "
    Yes,
    Itol
    dhernott
    obuty
    ouknowy
    ourwi
    fe.
    "
    "
    Yah,
    letmecal
    lher
    ."
    Hemadehiswayt ot
    hebedr oom andput
    ever
    ythi
    ngonthebedthentookouthisphone,
    connect
    editont
    hechargerandswi t
    chedi
    ton.
    Hesmi
    l
    eddi
    ali
    ngher
    .
    "
    Babe?
    "
    "
    Heymama.
    ..Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    "
    "
    Home.
    "
    Hef
    rownedconf
    used."
    Youar
    ehome?
    "
    "
    Yeswher
    ear
    eyou?
    "
    "
    Iam st
    il
    lonmyway
    ,ther
    ewer
    edel
    ays.
    "
    "
    Wil
    lyoubebackbyt
    oni
    ght
    ?"
    "
    Yeah.Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngathome?
    "
    "
    Justsl
    eepi
    ng?
    "
    "
    Ohok.Il
    ovey
    ou.
    "
    "
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    "
    Ot
    enghungupt
    hendi
    aledanot
    hernumber
    .
    "
    Sur
    eOt
    ti
    e?"
    "Iwanty
    out otrackmywife'
    scarimmediat
    ely
    andIwanttoknowwher esheis,whereshewas,
    i
    fshemov es,keepmeupdated.Iam sendi
    ng
    youthecar'
    sdet ai
    l
    sri
    ghtnow."
    "
    Sur
    e,ev
    ery
    thi
    ngok?
    "
    "
    That
    'swhatI
    '
    m aboutt
    ofi
    ndout
    ."
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #124
    Meanwhi l
    e,Ist
    eppedoutofmycari ntheroad
    feeli
    ngt heli
    ghtcontr
    act
    ionsIhadbeenf eel
    ing
    sinceear l
    ymorninggetmorewor seandlooked
    atthecarIhaddr oveint
    owhi l
    ethedri
    ver
    steppedout .Helookedathi
    swat chfi
    xinghis
    j
    acket .Helookedathiscarthenatme.
    “
    Whyar
    eyoudr
    ivi
    ngi
    nthi
    scondi
    ti
    on?
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Iam r
    eal
    l
    ysor
    ry.
    ”
    Hesmi
    led.“
    NowIcan’tshoutatapr
    egnant
    womanwhojustcr
    ushedintomycar.Iam not
    ev
    endonepayi
    ngthebank.”
    “
    Iam r
    eal
    l
    ysor
    ry.Ir
    eal
    l
    yam.
    ”
    “
    Sowhatshoul
    dwedonow?
    ”
    “
    CanIpayyousoyoucangeti
    tfi
    xedi
    thout
    i
    nvol
    vi
    ngthepol
    i
    ce?”
    “
    Wher
    eisy
    ourhusband?
    ”
    “
    Athome.
    ”
    Themanlookedathi
    scaragai
    nandchuckl
    ed.
    “Ok,
    Iwi
    ll
    acceptthat
    .”
    Iwalkedbacktomycarandtookmyphone
    thendidaquickewal
    l
    ettohi
    m.
    “
    Ok,
    wil
    lthatbeenough?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    ewel
    come.
    ”
    Igotbacki nthecarandst art
    edt heengi
    ne
    cl
    osingmyey estightl
    yatthepain.Itooka
    deepbr eat
    hinthenj oinedtheroadnow
    confusedofwher ereall
    yIwasgoi ngasit
    star
    tedt odri
    zzle.Myphoner angt henIpi
    cked.
    “
    Aunt
    ie?
    ”
    “Heelawena,yourhusbandi
    sher
    eandhej
    ust
    l
    eft,hedi
    dn’tseem t
    oohappyandtol
    dmeyou
    sai
    dy ouwerehome. ”
    “
    Otengi
    sback?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Wher
    ear
    eyou?Comebackhome!
    ”
    “
    Irani
    ntoanot
    hercarandhadtosett
    lethat
    .I
    t
    hinkt
    hatcol
    li
    deimpacthadaneff
    ectonme,
    t
    hepainIwasfeel
    ingear
    li
    eroni
    swor se.
    ”
    “
    Whatpai
    n?”
    “
    Thecont
    ract
    ions.
    ”
    “Whydi
    dn’
    tyousayany
    thi
    ngandwhy
    …wher
    e
    arey
    ou?”
    “
    Iam dr
    ivi
    ng.
    ”
    “Yooh!Jesoweh!Call
    Ot engtocomeand
    coll
    ectyouthenIwi
    llf
    indawaysowemeetat
    thehospit
    al.Whati
    sthischil
    dshowi
    ngme
    Lord?”
    Iputt
    hephonedownasmywaterbr
    oke.Aunt
    ie
    hungupthenmyphoner
    angagai
    n.
    “
    Eazi
    ,wher
    ear
    eyouagai
    n?”
    “
    IAM GI
    VINGBI
    RTH!
    ”
    “
    Youar
    ewhat
    ?”
    “
    Thebabyi
    scomi
    ngdammi
    t!
    ”
    “
    Wherear
    eyou?Iam homeandy
    ouar
    enot
    t
    her
    e.”
    “
    IknowIam nott
    her
    e,y
    oudon’
    thav
    eto
    menti
    oni
    t!
    ”
    “
    Okbabe,
    Igeti
    t.Iam sor
    ry.Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    Tearsfi
    ll
    edmyey est henIsteppedonthe
    breaksasthecontracti
    onscamei nrapi
    dwav
    es.
    Ididacountbackofhowl ongIhadbeen
    feel
    ingthi
    s,possi
    blyfivehoursnow.Cars
    hootedbehindmeasIst eppedoutwit
    hmywet
    dress.
    “Nt
    huseng!(
    Hepme!)
    ”Ibendedtouchingt
    he
    bonnetoft
    hetaxi
    whi
    chstoppedbesidemycar
    .
    “
    Nthuseng!(
    Hel
    pme!
    )”
    Thetaximanst
    eppedoutandr
    ushedt
    ome.
    “What’
    swrong?
    ”
    “
    Thebabyiscomingaaaahhhhh!
    ”Igr
    abbedhi
    s
    t
    -shi
    rtgr
    oani
    ng.
    “
    Ist
    haty
    ourcar
    ?”
    “
    Ng…”
    Panicki
    ng,hepickedmeupasapassenger
    from hi
    staxiopenedmycar’
    sreardoor
    .Thet
    axi
    driv
    erputmet hereandl
    ookedbackatthel
    ady.
    “Getinwithher,r
    etsamayerot
    lhe.
    (Weare
    goingtogether
    .)
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Theladygotinwit
    hmeasItookoffmypanti
    es.
    Thetaxidri
    verwal
    kedbackt
    ohiscar
    ,ref
    unded
    thetwopassenger
    s,par
    kedhi
    scarbythesi
    de
    oftheroadthenj
    umpedinmineanddrov
    eto
    thehospit
    al.
    “
    Thebabyi
    scomi
    ng!
    ”
    “
    Justwai
    t,wear
    eal
    mostt
    her
    e.Dr
    iverbef
    ast
    .”
    Thet
    axi
    dri
    verl
    ookedatmesweat
    ingi
    nthenhe
    ranthroughar edtrafficli
    ghtspeedingand
    overtaki
    ngothercar s.Mi nutesl
    aterheparked
    attheemer gencyent ranceandr ushedinsi
    de
    call
    ingforhelp.Secondsl at
    erhecameback
    withnursesandast retcher.
    Theyhel
    pedmeonitandpushedmeinsidet
    o
    thel
    abourwar
    d.Themidwi
    fewalkedov
    erand
    l
    ookedatme.
    “
    Howl
    onghav
    eyoubeeni
    nlabour
    ?”
    “
    Eversi
    ncemor
    ning,
    theywer
    eli
    ghtpai
    ns.
    ”
    “Kantekengleiray
    alo?Yousitatyourhouse
    i
    nsteadofcomi ngtothehospi
    tal
    ,why ?Arey
    ou
    adoct or
    ?Ami dwifeoronursemmakennake
    saitseng?(
    oryouareanursejustt
    hatIdon't
    know? )”
    “Kekopagoreont use,(pl
    easehel
    pme,)t
    he
    babyiscoming.Mybl oodpressur
    ehasbeen
    hight
    houghoutthepr egnancy
    ,Ineed
    i
    mmedi atehel
    p.”
    Themidwif
    ehel
    dherwait
    .“Ngng,don’ttel
    lme
    howtodomyjob!IknowwhatIam supposedt
    o
    bedoi
    ng.
    ”
    Sheputonhergl
    ovest
    hensl
    i
    dherf
    inger
    sin
    me.
    “
    Idon’
    tev
    enknowwhyy ouar
    emakingnoi
    se,
    y
    ouarest
    il
    lfar
    .Thenur
    sewil
    lcomeanddress
    y
    ou.”
    Shewal
    kedoutl
    eav
    ingmegr
    unt
    ingi
    npai
    n.

    *
    **

    Themidwi
    fewal
    kedov
    ert
    otwonur
    seswho
    werest
    andi
    ngcl
    oseby
    .
    “Karemothohel
    aotl
    ahakaat
    ti
    tudeny ana.(
    A
    personj
    ustcomesher
    ewi
    thanatti
    tude.)
    ”
    Thenur
    sesl
    aughed.“
    Mxm,
    theyar
    eli
    ket
    hat
    .”
    “
    Sharon,
    thi
    sladysaysshehasbeeninl
    aborfor
    f
    ivehour
    snowseatedinherhouse,
    nextthi
    ng
    t
    heyarebusypai
    nti
    ngusbadonsocialmedia.
    ”
    Theothernur
    sechuckl
    ed.“
    Shemustt
    hinkshe
    i
    sallt
    hat.”
    “Sheshouldthinksheisal
    lthatoutsidethi
    s
    hospi
    tal,
    herewedon’ tdoitl
    ikethat.Iam t
    he
    midwifeandy oucan’tcomeher etomehowt o
    domyj ob.Ifyoudothatyouwi l
    lsuffer
    .”
    “Nnatl
    hammaIi gnore.Youwillscr
    eam,shout
    andallbutIwi
    ll
    ignoreyouti
    ll
    y oustar
    tbegging
    metogety ouhelp.Kegobakisetsamait
    seo
    hel
    a.”
    “
    Theymaketheloudestnoi
    sesyetwhenyou
    l
    ookyouf
    indthatthi
    sisherhundr
    enthbaby
    .”
    Themi dwi
    felaughed.“Mxm,youknowt hem.As
    forthi
    sone,Iam goingtof
    ixher.Aker
    eshe
    thi
    nkssheisadoct or,
    shewil
    lhelphersel
    f
    today.
    ”
    Theyal
    ll
    aughed,
    themidwi
    fetookoutherpone
    andwal
    kedawaydial
    i
    ngafriend.

    *
    **

    Li
    nagotherbabyseatedint
    hesocialwor
    ker’
    s
    off
    ice,
    tearsf
    il
    ledherey
    esasshelookedather
    daughter
    .
    “
    Arey
    ouhappy
    ?”
    Tear
    srandownhercheeks.“
    Shei
    smi
    ne…”
    “
    Yes,
    shei
    syour
    s.”
    Li
    naputherhandov
    erhermout
    hcr
    ying.“
    Shei
    s
    mine…myown. ”
    Thesoci
    alworkersmil
    edtaki
    ngavi
    deoasLi
    na
    cr
    iedhol
    dingherchi
    ld.“
    Sheismi
    ne.
    ”
    “
    What
    ’shername?
    ”
    “
    Hope.Hernamei
    sHope.
    ”
    “
    Hopei
    tis,
    beaut
    if
    ulname.Thi
    sisbeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    Li
    nal
    ookedatt
    hesoci
    alwor
    kert
    ear
    ful
    l
    y.“
    She
    i
    sbeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    “Andshei
    sonly5months.Yousee,ther
    eis
    nothi
    ngwrongwit
    hadopti
    on.Agreatopti
    onfor
    thosewhocan’
    thaveki
    ds.
    ”
    “
    Ihadl
    osthope.
    ”
    “
    Todayy
    ouf
    oundi
    t.
    ”
    “
    Ng…”
    Thesocialworkersmil
    ed.Shehonest l
    yl ov
    ed
    thi
    spartofherjob,t
    hosetearsofjoy,that
    excit
    ement.Linasi
    gnedaf ewt hi
    ngsthen
    walkedoutwithherchil
    d.Lonassmi l
    edasshe
    walkedoverthensheopenedt hebackdoorf or
    her.Li
    nagotincareful
    l
    yhol di
    ngherbaby .
    “
    Wow…i
    sforr
    eal
    ?”
    Li
    nal
    aughednoddi
    ng.“
    Ihav
    eababy
    .”
    “
    Atl
    ast
    .”
    “Ebi
    l
    enkarenkaopel
    a.Atl
    asssst
    …myl
    ovehas
    comearound.
    ”
    Lonaslaughedstar
    ingathersist
    er’
    shappyf
    ace.
    Shekissedherdaughter
    ’scheek.
    “
    HiHope.
    ”
    “
    Shoul
    dwego?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Letmecal
    lEazi
    .”
    Li
    natookherphoneanddial
    edEazi
    buther
    phonej
    ustrangunanswer
    ed.

    *
    **

    Atthehospi
    talIgotdownthebedgaspi
    ngf
    or
    br
    eaththenslowlywalkedout
    .
    "
    Kekopat
    huso!
    "
    Onet
    henur
    seseat
    edcl
    osebywal
    kedov
    er.
    "
    Kant
    ekengor
    ataat
    tent
    iony
    ana?(
    Whydoy
    ou
    l
    i
    keat
    tent
    ion?
    )"
    "
    Hel
    pme.Iam bl
    eedi
    ngandi
    npai
    n."
    "Themidwi
    fei
    scoming.Justgoback,you
    cameherewit
    hanatti
    tude,
    whoi sgoi
    ngtohel
    p
    youwhenyoubehav
    easi fyouknow
    every
    thi
    ng?
    "
    "
    Pleasehel
    pme.
    ..cal
    lthedoct
    or.
    "
    "Themidwif
    eistheonewhocanhel
    pyou.Just
    goback,sheiscoming.
    "
    Anursei
    nlongheelsandamedium shor
    twhi
    te
    dr
    esswalkedbythenpausedl
    ooki
    ngatus.
    "
    What
    'sgoi
    ngon?
    "
    ThenursewhoIwast al
    kingtol
    ookedather
    ."I
    am t
    ell
    inghertogoback.Kanasheis
    gal
    li
    vanti
    ngaround,
    shemaygi v
    ebirt
    hhere
    i
    tsel
    f.
    "
    Feel
    i
    ngweak, Isatononthef
    loorcr
    ying."She
    i
    slyi
    ng.Ihav
    ebeenher eandtheywon'thelpme.
    Shesai
    dIcameher
    ewi
    thanat
    ti
    tude.
    "
    Thenur sewalkedov er."Whydoy out r
    eat
    pati
    entslikethi
    s?Ify ouknowy oudon' tli
    ke
    yourjoby ouquitChipo!Noneedt ocomeher e
    andilltr
    eatthepat i
    ents!Yougivethisplacea
    badname, youdragournamest hrought he
    mud.Youar esounpr ofessi
    onalandt histi
    me
    aroundy ouareleaving,Iwil
    lpersonall
    ymake
    sureofit."Shehelpedmeup." Iam sosor ry
    mam, mynamei sAy ana,l
    etmehel py ou."
    Shecal
    l
    edfort
    hepott
    erwhowaspassi
    ngby
    andhel
    pedmeonthewheel
    chai
    r.
    "
    Chi
    po,
    cal
    lDoct
    orP.
    "
    "
    Ok.
    "
    "
    Don'
    twor
    ry,
    youar
    egoi
    ngt
    obeal
    ri
    ght
    ."
    Il
    eanedbackfeel
    i
    ngsoweakIcoul dhardl
    y
    keepmyeyesopen.Tearsf
    il
    ledmyey esand
    withev
    erybr
    eathItook,
    atearrol
    l
    edmycheek.
    "
    What
    'sy
    ourname?
    "
    Il
    ookedather
    ."Eazi
    ..
    ."
    "OkEazi,youaregoingtobefine.Don'
    tcry,
    Iwil
    l
    doeverythingi
    nmesoy ouwalkoutwi t
    hthi
    s
    babyali
    veandki cki
    ng.Iam commi t
    ingmyself
    tothi
    s."
    "
    Myki
    ds.
    ..
    "
    "
    Youar
    egoi
    ngt
    obef
    ine.
    "
    Islowlycl
    osedmyeyesasmyv
    isi
    onbecame
    blurr
    yandmor ebl
    urr
    y.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #125
    Otengrushedint
    hehospi
    tal
    andwentov
    ert
    o
    t
    her ecept
    ion.
    “
    Mywi f
    ecamei
    near
    li
    er.Eazi
    Bogat
    su,
    shei
    sin
    l
    abor
    .”
    “
    Oh,
    shehasbeent
    akent
    otheat
    er.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Ot
    eng’
    sphoner
    angf
    rom i
    shi
    spocket
    .“Yah?
    ”
    “Oti
    e,weneedtot
    alk,
    thebosseshav
    ebeen
    aski
    ngaboutyou.
    ”
    “So?Itoldyouandt hem t
    hatIam outof
    business,getanewsupplierorwhat ev
    erand
    stopcalli
    ngme, thi
    sismyper sonalphoneandI
    am dealingwithanimportantmatterri
    ghtnow.
    ”
    Hehungandl ookedattherecepti
    onist
    .
    “
    Whathappenedfort
    hem todeci
    dethatmy
    wi
    feneededtobeoperat
    ed?Andthatneeded
    mysi
    gnaturedi
    dn’
    tit
    ?”
    “Youwouldhavetowaitforthedoctorto
    expl
    ainever
    ythi
    nginf
    ulldetail
    ,Iam justan
    i
    ntern.Butt
    hatmanbroughtheri n,
    hehasbeen
    aski
    ngabouther.”
    Otengtur
    nedt
    othemant
    henwal
    kedov
    er.
    “Ei
    ta!
    ”
    “
    Sur
    esur
    e…”
    “
    Iam hear
    ingy
    oubr
    oughtmywi
    feher
    e.”
    Thet axi
    dri
    verstoodupshaki ng.“Yes,she
    stoppedhercarint heroadthenst eppedout
    screamingforhelp.Iwasi nmyt axiandI
    decidedtohelpherbutt helasttimeIsawher
    shewascr yi
    ngint helaborroom, noonewas
    helpi
    ngherandshewasbl eeding.Sheasked
    met ocally
    oubutIcoul dn’
    tseeherphonesoI
    toldanursewhot oldmet oletthem dot hei
    r
    j
    ob. ”
    “
    Sonoonewashel
    pingher
    ?”
    Thet
    axi
    dri
    vershookhi
    shead.“
    Shewasal
    one,
    t
    heyonl
    yhel
    pedherdr
    ess.
    ”
    Otengcl
    enchedhi
    sjawsknowi
    ngthi
    swasthe
    r
    easontheyhadbookedi
    ntoapri
    vat
    ehospi
    tal
    .
    “
    Wher
    eist
    henur
    se?
    ”
    Thetaxidr
    iverl
    ookedar
    ound.“
    Ican’
    tseeher
    anymorebutshewashere.
    ”
    “I
    fanythi
    nghappenstomuwifeorson,
    someoneisgoingtowisht
    heywerenever
    broughti
    nthi
    swor l
    d.”
    Thet axidriv
    ersighedwor r
    iedlyandsl owl ysat
    down.“ Ilostmywi f
    eher e,
    Idon’ twantt he
    samet hi
    nghappeni ngtoyou.It’spainful.Itwi
    ll
    neverleav eyou.Youwi l
    lal
    way st hi
    nkabouti t
    everytimey oupassby .Thepai nstil
    lwi l
    l get
    fr
    eshov erandov er
    .Icameher ewithmy
    pregnantwi feandIleftwit
    ht wobodi es.”
    Ot
    engsatdownput
    ti
    nghi
    shandsonhi
    sface.
    “
    Fuck!
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.Letusbehopef
    ul.
    ”
    “Thiswasnevert
    heplan…webookedtoa
    pri
    vatecl
    ini
    c.Shewasalr
    eadyschedul
    edt
    her
    e
    withherdoct
    or.
    ”
    “
    Let
    ’sbeposi
    ti
    ve.
    ”
    “I
    fanyt
    hinghappenstoei
    theroft
    hem Iwi
    l
    l
    neverf
    orgi
    vemy sel
    f.
    ”
    “Let
    ’ssi
    ngandpray,
    Ist
    il
    lbel
    i
    eveifIknewGod
    backthen,
    alotwoul
    dhavebeendif
    ferent
    .”
    Thet
    axidr
    iveropenedhi
    smout
    handst
    art
    ed
    si
    ngi
    ng.

    Youcal
    lmeupupont
    hewat
    ers
    Thegr
    eatunkownwher
    emyf
    eetmayf
    ail
    Andt
    her
    eIf
    indy
    oui
    nthemy
    ster
    y
    I
    ntheoceansdeepmyf
    ait
    hwi
    l
    lst
    and
    AndIwi
    l
    lcal
    luponYourname
    Andkeepmyey
    esabov
    ethewav
    es
    Whenoceansr
    ise,
    mysoul
    wil
    lresti
    nYour
    embr
    ace
    ForIam Your
    sandYouar
    emi
    ne

    Yourgr
    aceaboundsi
    ndeepestwat
    ers
    Yoursov
    erei
    gnhandwi
    l
    lbemygui
    de
    Wher
    efeetmayf
    ail
    andf
    earsur
    roundsme
    You’
    venev
    erf
    ail
    edandy
    ouwon’
    tst
    artnow

    AndIwi
    l
    lcal
    lupony
    ourname
    Andkeepmyey
    esabov
    ethewav
    es
    Whenoceansr
    ise,
    mysoul
    wil
    lresti
    nYour
    embr
    ace
    ForIam Your
    sandYouar
    emi
    ne
    Spi
    ri
    tleadmewher
    emyt
    rusti
    swi
    thoutbor
    der
    s
    Letmewal
    kont
    hewat
    ers
    Wher
    every
    ouwoul
    dcal
    lme
    Takemedeepert
    hanmyf
    ait
    hwoul
    dev
    er
    wander
    Andmyf
    ait
    hwi
    l
    lbemadest
    ronger
    I
    nthepr
    esenceofmysav
    ior

    Thetaxidriverclosedhi sey esandst arted


    prayi
    ng.Hepr ayedasi fheknewEazi whil
    e
    Otengsil
    ent l
    ycl osedhisey es, notthathedi dn’
    t
    knowhowt opr aybutj ustthathedi dn’ teven
    knowwher et ost art
    .Whenwast helastt i
    mehe
    hadwentt ochur ch?Hecoul dn’teven
    remember .Thet axidr
    iverpray edev enhar der
    summoni ngt hehol yspiri
    ttot heirpr esent ,
    call
    i
    ngfort hel ordtoper f
    om hi smi racl es,
    askingf orGodtorest
    oretheirf
    ait
    h.Anoldlady
    walkingov er
    ,pausedandstaredthenj
    oinedin
    praying.Theprayerswentforawhilet
    hen
    fi
    nallytheysaidAmen.Theol dl
    adysmiled.
    “
    Iti
    swel
    l
    .”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Theoldl
    adysmil
    edatOteng.“
    Thelor
    dshall
    rememberherwhenher
    emember sother
    s.”
    Otengnoddedandwatchedherwal
    kawayt
    hen
    hetookouthi
    sringi
    ngphone.
    “
    Penny
    ,Iam busy
    .”
    “
    Howi sEazi
    ,ther
    eisav
    ideoci
    rcul
    ati
    ngon
    f
    acebook.
    ”
    “
    OfEazi
    ?”
    “
    Yes,
    shei
    sscr
    eami
    ngf
    orhel
    p.”
    “
    Whopost
    edi
    t?”
    “
    Somel
    ady
    ,shedel
    etedi
    tbuti
    t’
    sci
    rcul
    ati
    ng.
    Howi
    sshe?
    ”
    “Idon’
    tknow,
    theytookheri
    nforaC-
    Secti
    on
    andIam hear
    ingtheyhadnegl
    ect
    edher
    .”
    “I
    fit’
    sagov ernmenthospit
    al,don’tbesurpr
    ised.
    Thoseeopl ebehaveasiftheyarebei ngf
    orced
    tobet her
    e,theyarerudeandunr uly
    .Theydon’t
    careaboutany one.
    ”
    “
    Ifanyt
    hinghappenst
    heyar
    egoi
    ngt
    oknow
    me.”
    “
    CanIcome?Iam wor
    ri
    edabouther
    .”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Otengputhi
    sphonedownandsighedwait
    ing,
    eachsecondpassi
    ngf
    eel
    ingl
    ikeami l
    l
    ion
    seconds.

    *
    **
    Pennywalkedoutofherhouseashernei
    ghbor
    walkedouttoo.Hesmil
    ed.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Hi.
    ”
    “Thankyoufort
    akingmyclothesf
    rom t
    hel
    i
    ne
    earl
    ieronwhenitwasrai
    ning.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok.That
    ’swhatagoodnei
    ghbordoes.
    ”
    “Youareright
    .Howaboutdi
    nnerl
    ateron?We
    canwat chamov i
    e.Ihav
    ebeenscaredt
    oask
    buttodayistheday.
    ”
    Pennylaughedst ari
    ngathim,hewasn’ tthat
    handsome, j
    ustokbuthi sdarkchocol
    at eski
    n
    madeupf orit,
    nott oment i
    onthesmar tness
    andcleanness,theheightwascherryont op
    andthatbeard.Hel ookedli
    keanAmer i
    can
    basketbal
    lplay
    er .Hereyeswentdownhi s
    sweatpantsandl ookedatthatdi
    ckprint,was
    heev
    enwear
    inghi
    sbr
    ief
    sor
    …
    Hesmil
    edcatchi
    ngherstar
    ing.Embarr
    assed,
    Pennyl
    ookedawaythenhelaughed.
    “
    Wil
    lyoucome?
    ’
    “
    Toeatandwat
    chmov
    iesonl
    y.
    ”
    Heopenedhiscardoorandj umpedin.“Trust
    me,Iwon’tdoanyt
    hingyoudon’twantmet o.
    Don’
    tworryaboutanyt
    hing,Iwil
    lcook.Just
    br
    ingyourbeaut
    if
    ulselfover.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hest
    art
    edhiscaranddrov
    eoffthenpennygot
    i
    nherowncaransweri
    ngherr
    ingingphone.
    “
    Heybabe,
    whatdoy
    ouwantf
    ordi
    nner
    t
    oni
    ght
    ?”
    “
    Toni
    ghtIwil
    lbebusy
    .Iam goi
    ngtohelppapa
    wi
    tht
    hekids,Eazi
    wasadmitt
    edinhospi
    tal
    .”
    “Di
    dn’tweagreet
    haty
    ouwi
    l
    lst
    ayawayf
    rom
    Oteng’ski
    ds?
    ’
    “
    Thoseki
    dsar
    en’tj
    ustki
    ds,
    Ihav
    eanephew
    t
    her
    eandtwonieces.
    ”
    “
    Iam j
    ustt
    ryi
    ngt
    opr
    otecty
    ou.
    ”
    “Youdon’
    thavetoprot
    ectmef rom any
    thi
    ng
    Barr
    y,Iwi
    llbef
    inebutthanks.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Icanaccompanyy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    No,
    it’
    sbestIgoal
    one.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sal
    ongdr
    ive.
    ”
    “
    IknowandIam r
    eadyf
    ori
    t.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    ousur
    e?”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Met
    oo.
    ”
    Shehungupandr
    ever
    sedt
    hendr
    oveaway
    .

    *
    **
    Tsot
    lhewal
    kedinheroff
    icehol
    dingher
    del
    iv
    eredl
    unchspeaki
    ngt ot
    hephone.
    “
    Gott
    hel
    unch?
    ”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    “
    Iwantt
    oseey
    oul
    ateron.
    ”
    Shel
    aughed.“
    Yousawmey
    est
    erday
    .”
    “
    Itwon’
    tbef
    orl
    ong.
    ”
    “That
    ’swhatyoualwayssay.Myhusbandwill
    behomewai t
    ing.Ist
    il
    lhavetodomywi f
    ely
    duti
    es.”
    “
    Obatlagomojesakukuy
    ame?(
    Youwanthi
    m
    t
    ofuckmypussy?)
    ”
    Shesatdownbl
    ushi
    ng.“
    Youar
    etheone
    poachi
    ngit
    .”
    “
    It
    ’smi
    ne,
    Icl
    aimedi
    t.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    lat
    erbutonl
    yforacoupl
    eofmi
    nut
    es.
    ”
    “
    Yeah,
    theusual
    ?”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    “Youshoul
    ddi
    vor
    cehi
    m.Iam get
    ti
    ngt
    ir
    edof
    shari
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Don’
    ttal
    kli
    ket
    hat
    .”
    “
    Iam j
    ustsay
    ing.Iwi
    l
    lseey
    oul
    ater
    .”
    Shehungupasherof
    fi
    cephoner
    ang.
    “
    Yes?
    ”
    “
    Hey
    ,Mr
    .Ti
    sher
    e.”
    “
    Oh?Lethi
    min.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Shehungupthentookt hef oodshehadandput
    i
    tinherl
    astdrawer.Shet ookouthercompact
    mir
    rorandfi
    xedherunbl emi shedf
    aut
    lt
    less
    per
    fectf
    ace.Tinowalkedi nassheputher
    mir
    roraway.Hewal
    kedov
    erhol
    dingherl
    unch
    t
    henkissedme.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    Tsot
    lhebl
    ushed.“
    Hi.
    ”
    “
    Ibr
    oughty
    oul
    unch.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Tinopul
    ledherupandpl acedheronhert able
    pushi
    ngherdr essup.Hekissedherpushing
    herpant
    iestot hesi
    de.Tsotl
    he’sbreastperked
    upasTinokissedherharder,heputherlegon
    hi
    sshouldertakingouthi
    shar ddickand
    pushedi
    nasshegaspedget ti
    ngst r
    etchedup.

    *
    **

    Awhil
    elat
    erTinopassedbytherecept
    ion
    wher
    etherecept
    ioni
    stwasseatedwithafri
    end.
    “
    Eishmma,
    thi
    smani
    sit
    !”
    “
    Tel
    lmeabouti
    t.Tsot
    lhei
    ssol
    ucky
    .”
    “
    Shei
    scheat
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Whot
    oldy
    out
    hat
    ?”
    “
    Heel
    a,hav
    eyouseent
    hatt
    hisgi
    rl
    -“
    “Ihaven’
    tseenany
    thi
    ngbecauseImindmyown
    business.St
    opgoi
    ngaroundspreadi
    ngfal
    se
    rumors.What’swr
    ongwithyou?Don’
    tyouhave
    shame? ”
    Therecept
    ioni
    stl
    ookeddownhumi
    l
    iat
    edand
    keptqui
    et.

    *
    **

    Atthehospi
    tal
    ,aft
    eranhourorsoofwaiti
    ng,
    thedoct
    orwalkedovert
    ot hem.Ot
    wengstood
    upwithapoundinghear
    t.Hehadneverbeenso
    scar
    edli
    kethatmomentandhi
    shear
    twas
    poundi
    ngli
    keitwoul
    dfal
    lof
    fandmarchout
    .
    “
    Howi
    smywi
    fe.
    ”
    Thedoctorl
    ookedatt
    hem andsi
    ghedunsur
    e
    ofwheretostar
    t.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #126

    Att
    hehospi
    tal
    ,thedoct
    orledOt
    engi
    nhi
    s
    of
    fi
    cet
    hentheybothsatdown.
    "SoIam goi
    ngt ot
    rytoexpl
    ainthisinsimple
    ter
    ms.Theplacent
    agotabrupted.Placent
    al
    abrupt
    ionoccurswhentheplacentapartl
    yor
    compl etel
    ysepar at
    esf rom theinnerwallofthe
    uterusbef or
    edel i
    very.Thiscandecr easeor
    blockthebaby '
    ssupplyofoxy genandnut ri
    ents
    andcauseheav ybleedingl i
    kewhathappened
    withyourwi fe.Herhighbl oodpressur emade
    thesituati
    ongodownhi llevenfurther.Wehad
    tooper ateherimmedi atelyasthebabywas
    beingdepr iv
    edoxy gen."
    "
    And?I
    sthebabyok?
    "
    "
    Wemanagedt
    osav
    ethebabyandhei
    sfi
    ne.
    "
    Ot
    engsmi
    l
    ed."
    It
    'sahe?
    "
    "Yesbutwearegoi
    ngt
    okeephi
    mfor
    observ
    ati
    on.
    "
    "
    Andmywi
    fe?
    "
    Thedoct orsi
    ghed."Shel
    ostalotofbloodas
    wehaddi f
    fi
    cul
    tystoppi
    ngthebleedi
    ngandasa
    resul
    t,shesuff
    eredKidneyfai
    l
    ure."
    Ot
    engswal
    l
    owed.
    "Sheisinint
    ensi
    vecar
    eunitr
    ightnow.Iam
    goingtogivehersomeIVf
    lui
    dsthentakeit
    from t
    here."
    "Andal
    lthi
    sbecauseshewasnegl
    ect
    edwhen
    shecamehere.
    "
    Thedoctorputhi
    shandstoget
    her."The
    hospi
    talmanagediscur
    rent
    lydeal
    ingwitht
    hat
    repor
    t.
    "
    "
    That
    'snotenough,
    somebodyoughtt
    obe
    f
    ir
    ed.
    "
    "Ial
    soagreeandthatwi
    llcometopass.The
    hospit
    alwon'
    tkeephavi
    ngmor ecasesbecause
    ofunprof
    essi
    onalpeopl
    e."
    "
    Andwhower
    ethosepeopl
    e?"
    "Unf
    ortunat
    elyIam noti
    ntheposi
    ti
    ont
    o
    exposethem."
    "
    Iam t
    ransf
    err
    ingmyf
    ami
    l
    yfr
    om her
    e."
    "
    Youar
    efr
    eet
    odot
    hat
    ."
    *
    **

    Lebothavi
    ewedLina'
    sst
    atuswit
    hasmi
    l
    et hen
    putherphonedownasherroommat
    ewalkedi
    n.
    "
    Heyl
    ove!
    "
    "
    Hi.
    "
    "
    Hasyourboy
    fri
    endcommunicat
    edwi
    thy
    ouas
    y
    et?Kanamaybeheisgonef
    orgood.
    "
    "
    Hei
    sbusy
    ."
    Ther oommatel
    aughedclappi
    ngherhands."He
    i
    sgone.Thatmanpr obabl
    yhasawhi te
    gir
    lfr
    iendi
    nLondon.Youareherewastingyour
    ti
    me, nowyouseeyouabortedyourbabyforno
    reason?"
    Lebot
    halookedather."
    Fir
    stofal
    l,si
    tyourfl
    at
    assdownandshuty ourmouthconcerni
    ng
    thi
    ngsyoudon'
    tknow.Yournoseisallupinmy
    businessyetitcan'
    tevensni ffyoursti
    nking
    armpi t
    s.Secondly,
    didy ouseemepr egnant?
    Didy ouseemeabor tababy ?Justbecausewe
    sharetheroom doesn'tmeany ouknowme
    enought oopeny ourstankmout h.I
    fthat'
    swhat
    yourmot hertaughtyout henIsuggestshe
    swallowsy oubackwi t
    hheranus.Ret arded
    bit
    ch!"
    Theroommat
    elookedathershockedoft
    he
    words."
    Wow!
    "
    "Nyownyowbusyt
    alki
    ngaboutt
    hingsy
    ou
    know!"
    Ther oommatepi ckedherhandbagt henwalked
    out.Lebothapickedherphonet henstaredatit
    forawhi l
    ewonder ingi
    fr eal
    lyshewaswast i
    ng
    hertime.Tearsfil
    ledherey esbutshet ooka
    deepbr eat
    hpulli
    ngher selftogether
    .Lif
    ehad
    taughthernottocr ybutr at
    hermov ewi t
    h
    confi
    dence.
    *
    **

    Lat
    erthatday,
    Sadipar
    kedhercari
    nfr
    ontof
    Abe'
    sgatethendi
    aledhi
    m.
    "
    Sadi
    ..
    ."
    "Hi.Iam sor ryaboutwhatIsaid.Youar er i
    ght,I
    shouldn'tbedemandi ngtoseehi m aft
    eral l
    that
    Idid.Iam goi ngtowor khardtil
    l y
    oucanf reely
    givehimt omesohev i
    sit
    sbutf ornowIwi l
    l
    settl
    ewi thy ourconditi
    ons.Iam sorrythatI
    actuall
    ynev erappr eci
    atedyour ai
    singhiml i
    kea
    goodf athery ouare.Iam parkedinf r
    ontofy our
    house, canIpl easeseehimf oraf ewmi nutes
    thenIwi llcomet omor r
    owt opickhim upi fit
    's
    okwi thyousot hatIcanmay bespendt heday
    withhim. "
    "That
    'sokbutr
    ightnowheiswi
    thmymot
    her
    .
    Youcancoll
    ecthimtomorr
    ow."
    "
    Thanky
    ou.
    "
    "
    Bye.
    "
    Hehungupt
    henSadi
    '
    sphonei
    mmedi
    atel
    yrang.
    "
    Hel
    l
    o?"
    "
    Hey
    ,canwet
    alk?
    "
    "Kane,
    Ihavenothi
    ngt
    otal
    ktoy
    ouaboutexpect
    aboutourson.
    "
    "
    Iam nowof
    fi
    cial
    l
    ydi
    vor
    ced.
    "
    "
    Idon'
    tcar
    e,Iam st
    il
    lfaci
    ngchar
    gessoi
    t
    makesnodif
    fer
    encetome. "
    "
    Iam comi
    ngt
    her
    e."
    "
    Iam nott
    her
    e.By
    e!"
    Shehungupthenst
    art
    edherandr
    ever
    sedout
    ofhi
    sdri
    veway.

    *
    **
    Tsotlhethoughtfull
    ysatinhercarf orawhi l
    e
    l
    ookingatt helodge.Atf i
    rsttheaf f
    airwas
    excit
    ingbutshewasbegi nningt olosei nter
    est
    whenev erhehadt obr i
    ngherhusbandi nt
    oi t
    .
    Shedi dn'
    twanttol eavehermar riage,allshe
    wantedwasabi tfun.May bet hefunwas
    getti
    ngoutoft heway .Shest eppedoutpul l
    ing
    downherski rtandcat walkedherwayi nsidethe
    l
    odge.Sheopenedt hedoorofar oom and
    walkedi nj
    ustasOwenwal kedoutoft he
    bathroom withat owelaroundhi swai st.She
    l
    ookedathi m andsi ghedsi t
    ti
    ngatt heedgeof
    thebed.
    "
    Hey
    ..
    ."
    "
    Yes,
    canwet
    alk?
    "
    "
    Yeah.Whati
    sit
    ?"
    "
    Iam pr
    egnant
    ."
    Owenpausedst
    ari
    ngather
    ."Youar
    ewhat
    ?"
    "
    Pregnant
    ."
    Heslowlysatdownst
    ari
    ngather
    ."Whoi
    sthe
    f
    ather?
    "
    "
    Whatdoy
    oumean?
    "
    "
    Isi
    tmi
    ne?
    "
    "No.I
    t'
    smyhusband'
    s.Weal
    way
    susea
    condom."
    "
    Notal
    way
    s.Youknowt
    hat
    ."
    "IknowandIknowallt
    hedayswedon'tusea
    condom andItakeemer
    gencypi
    ll
    s.Thi
    s
    pregnancyi
    smyhusband'sandt
    hiswil
    lbeour
    secondchil
    d."
    "
    Youcan'
    tbet
    oosur
    e."
    "Iam.Thi spregnancyisnotyoursbutifyou
    don'tbeli
    ev eit
    ,sui
    tyoursel
    f.Iwanttoleavethi
    s
    relat
    ionship.Iam notgoingtodi
    srespectmy
    husbandt oal evelwhereIwhorewhilecari
    ng
    hischild.
    "
    "
    Arey
    ouser
    iousr
    ightnow?
    "
    "Yes,
    youknewwewer ejusthavi
    ngf un.Ididtel
    l
    youIam amarr
    iedwomanwhent hisstarted
    andIhadnoint
    enti
    onofleavingmyhusband.I
    am endi
    ngwhatev
    eristherebetweenus. "
    "Il
    oveyou,youalsoloveme.Iknowthi
    sis
    str
    essf
    ulforyoubutt her
    eisnoneedtoendus.
    Icanputupwi t
    hit.
    "
    Tsotl
    helookedathim,damnwast hi
    showmen
    fel
    twhenevertheycheat
    ed?Wast hi
    showTi no
    fel
    twhenhesl eptwi
    thhisbr
    other
    'swife?The
    power.
    ..Shestoodupwithherhandbag.
    "
    Iwantt
    ofocusonthi
    spr
    egnancy
    .Iwantt
    o
    f
    ocusonmyfamil
    y.
    "
    "
    Babe.
    ..
    "
    "Focusony ourgi
    rl
    fr
    iend.Yousai
    dyouhav
    ea
    gir
    lfr
    iend.
    "
    "
    Iendedt
    hingsf
    ory
    ou.
    "
    "
    Iam sor
    rybutIhav
    et oendi
    t.Iwasf
    unwhil
    eit
    l
    ast
    edbutallgoodt
    hingscometoanend.
    "
    "
    Sot
    hishowy
    ouar
    eendi
    ngi
    t?"
    "HowotherwaycanIendi
    t?Youknewt
    hiswas
    coming.
    "
    "
    Wow!
    "
    "
    Bye.
    "
    Shewalkedoutandwentt
    ohercart
    hendr
    ove
    away.
    Owent ookadeepbr
    eathsit
    ti
    ng,whenitall
    star
    tedheknewitwasonlygoi
    ngtobesexbut
    nowhisf eel
    i
    ngswer
    eintoit
    .Hisphonerang.
    "
    Yeah?
    "
    "
    Wher
    ear
    eyou?Ihav
    etot
    ell
    yousomet
    hing.
    "
    "
    Aboutwhat
    ?Mapul
    a?Shel
    ongt
    oldme.
    "
    "
    Shewhat
    ?"
    "
    Yeah,
    shei
    sagoodwoman,
    treatherr
    ightor
    someonewi
    l
    ldot
    hej
    obf
    ory
    ou.
    "
    "
    Umm y
    eah.Nohar
    dfeel
    i
    ngsr
    ight
    ?"
    "
    Aboutwhat?Mybr otherdati
    ngthewomanour
    mothersetmeupf or?No,mamaset t
    ingherup
    f
    ormei sbecausesheknowsMapsi sagood
    woman.Iam happyy ouaretheonesheactual
    l
    y
    wentfor
    .Sheisyours,tr
    eatherr
    ight
    ."
    "
    Thanks.
    "
    "
    Cool
    ."
    "
    Sti
    l
    lseei
    ngt
    hemar
    ri
    edwoman?
    "
    "
    Sheendedi
    t.
    "
    "Don'
    tbesurprised.Youknewt hi
    swascomi ng.
    Itol
    dy outofocusonget ti
    ngagoodwoman.
    Yes,Tsotl
    heisgoodl ookingbutsheismar r
    ied
    andshewi l
    lalwaysgobackt oherhusband.
    Thisishowithappensj ustthatthi
    stime
    aroundawomanhasmast eredthegame.Same
    waymar ri
    edmenal waysgobackt ot
    hei
    rwives,
    shewentback.Notonl
    ymencanpl
    ayt
    he
    game.
    "
    "
    Ilov
    eher
    ."
    "
    Unlov
    eherthen.Sheisnoty
    ourst
    oloveand
    wi
    ll
    neverbeyourst
    olove.Wal
    kaway.
    "
    Owenrubbedhisf
    ace."
    Wewor
    ktoget
    her
    .Isee
    herev
    eryday
    ."
    "Ilongtoldyoutostopmi xi
    ngbusinesswith
    pleasure.Youneverlear
    n.Andy oucan'tf
    ir
    eher
    buty oucanmov eon.Themomenty oumove
    oni twil
    lbelikei
    tneverhappened."
    "
    Ihopeso,
    sur
    e!"
    "
    Yah.
    "
    Hehungupt henst oodupt akingof fthetowel
    .
    Thedooropenedandal adywal kedinholdi
    nga
    bucketforcl
    eaning.Shel ookedathi m and
    screamedturni
    ngonl ytospi l
    lherwat erandsl
    ip
    onit.Owenquicklypickedhist owel and
    wrappeditaroundherandrushedov
    erj
    ustas
    anothercl
    eanerwalkedin.
    "
    Hey
    ..
    .Ar
    eyouok?
    "
    Thecleanersl
    owlygotupandl
    ookedather
    col
    leagueunablet
    olookatOwen.Hesi
    ghed.
    "
    Arey
    ouok?
    "
    Shenoddedlooki
    ngtheotherdir
    ecti
    on.Owen
    l
    ookedatthewateronthefloor
    ."Youcancl
    ean
    thatup.
    "
    Hercol
    l
    eaguepushedherout
    ."Iwi
    l
    ldoi
    tsi
    r,
    apol
    ogi
    esfort
    hat.
    "
    "
    Wer
    eyout
    heonewhospi
    l
    tthewat
    er?
    "
    "
    Nosi
    rbut
    -"
    "
    Iwanthert
    omopt
    hef
    loornoty
    ou.
    "
    "
    Ok.
    "
    Shesl
    owlywalkedoutandt
    heot
    heronewal
    ked
    i
    n.Shelookeddown.
    "
    Iwi
    l
    lcl
    eant
    hisup.
    "
    "
    What
    'sy
    ourname?
    "
    "
    Tseo.
    "
    "Nextti
    mejustknockt
    oav
    oidseei
    ngt
    he
    unseen."
    "
    Yessi
    r,Iam r
    eal
    l
    ysor
    ry.
    "
    "
    It
    'sok,
    justcl
    eani
    tup.
    "
    Shest ar
    tedcl
    eaningthewetfloorwhi
    l
    eOwen
    walkedbacktot hebathr
    oom.Ami nut
    elat
    erhe
    walkedbackalreadydressedwhil
    eTseo
    fi
    nishedup.Owenl ookedatherasshecl
    eaned
    up.
    "
    Iam checki
    ngout
    ,youcancl
    eanf
    reel
    ynow.
    "
    Shelookeddownshy l
    y.Owenpickedhi
    scar
    keysandtil
    tedherchinlooki
    nginhereyes,
    deepbrownbi geyes.Hereyel
    asheswereso
    l
    ong.Hesmi led.
    "
    I'
    m Owen.Imi
    ghtaswel
    ltel
    lyoumyname,
    you
    knowmenaked.
    "
    Embar
    rassed,
    shel
    aughed."
    Iam sor
    ry.
    "
    "
    It
    'sok,
    notabadsi
    zer
    ight
    ?"
    Shelookeddownmakinghi
    mlaugh."
    Youwor
    k
    foracleani
    ngcompany?
    "
    "No,mymot
    heri
    sacl
    eanerher
    e,Iam hel
    ping
    her.
    "
    "
    Thatot
    herl
    ady
    ?"
    "
    No,
    shei
    shome.
    "
    "
    Ok.Sowhatt
    imedoy
    ouknockof
    f?"
    "
    Aft
    erIam donewi
    tht
    hisr
    oom.
    "
    "
    Isee.CanIdr
    opy
    ouof
    f?I
    fnot
    ,it
    'sok.
    "
    Tseolookedathi
    m, knowingjusthowfarshe
    stay
    edmadeherqui ckl
    ynod.Ei t
    herway,she
    wouldsav et
    hetr
    anspor tmoneyandbuy
    something."
    Youcandr opmeof f.
    "
    "
    Idr
    ivet
    hebl
    ackToy
    otaFJcr
    uiser
    ."
    "
    Ok.
    "
    Owenputhi
    sphonei
    nhi
    spocketwal
    ki
    ngout
    .

    *
    **

    Otenglookedathi ssont hensl


    owl ygothimi n
    hishandsasr eali
    tyofwhatwasgoi ngset t
    li
    ng
    i
    n.Heputhi m downandputhi shandsonhi s
    facewonder i
    ngifthiswashi m suff
    er i
    ngforall
    thedeedshehaddone.Washi swi fepay i
    ngfor
    i
    t?Godknewshewashi sweakeness, itwould
    breakhim beyondr epai
    rtoloseher .Andthe
    kids?Theywoul dhav el
    osttheirmot her.Atear
    randownhi scheekt henheslowl ysli
    det othe
    fl
    oorwithhisbackagai nstthewal l
    .
    "
    Godifi
    t'
    smysinscomingbackt
    obi
    teme,l
    et
    mepayfort
    hem..
    .pl
    easespar
    emywi
    fe.
    ..
    "
    .
    Pl
    easecommentandl
    i
    ke.
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #127

    Nishasmi l
    edst
    aringatherselfont hemirr
    or
    aftert
    hemakeov er,
    shewoul dn’taskbut
    everyt
    hingshehadonher sel
    fwasj ustf
    ancy.
    Themake- upar
    ti
    stpackedhert hings.
    “Doyouli
    kei
    t?Mr.Taf
    irasai
    dhewant
    ed
    somethi
    ngmorenatur
    al.
    ”
    Ni
    shal
    ookedather
    .“Il
    ovei
    t.Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “Youarewel
    come.Andoh,
    Mr.Taf
    ir
    asai
    dI
    shoul
    dgiveyout
    his.
    ”
    Themake-upart
    isthandedherapaperwalki
    ng
    out.Ni
    shaopeneditcuri
    ousl
    ythenherphone
    rang.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hel
    l
    o,Ni
    sha,
    weneedt
    otal
    k.”
    “
    What
    ’swr
    ongmama?
    ”
    “Wehadv i
    sit
    orstoday .Youdidn’
    ttell
    mey ou
    wereinaseri
    ousr elat
    ionshi
    pwi t
    hy ourboss.I
    spoketoyoursisterandshejusttoldmet hat
    youareinarelati
    onshipwithyourboss.”
    “
    Whatv
    ist
    orsdi
    dyouhav
    e?”
    “From theTafi
    rafami l
    y.Theyar easkingfor
    yourhandi nmarriage.Yourfatherhasalready
    start
    edpr epar
    ingforthenegotiati
    ons.Iam so
    happymydaught er.Godhasanswer edyour
    prayers.Youhavef oundyourselfagood
    successfulmanwhowi lll
    oveyou. ”
    “
    Mama-
    “
    “
    Whydidn’
    tyout
    ell
    mey
    ouf
    oundaman?I
    t
    hought
    -”
    Thecal
    lcutasherhear
    tpounded.Sheopened
    t
    hepaperandr
    eadt
    hel
    ett
    er.

    ‘
    Ihav ebeendeliberati
    ngaboutt hisforawhi l
    e
    nowt hinki
    ngmay beIam aboutt omaket he
    samemi st
    akeasl astt i
    mebutt henIr eali
    zed,
    youar eyouandIhav ef ai
    thi nus.Iknowi t
    mightbet oosoonbutIknowwhatIf eel andI
    am notgoingtowast emyt imer unningar ound,
    that’
    snotwhatIwast aught .Youhav ebeena
    refl
    ecti
    ont omeev ersi ncey ouwal kedi nside
    myof ficet
    hatfait
    hf uldayf orani nt
    erview.
    Ani
    shaMot
    hibedi
    ,wi
    l
    lyoupl
    easemar
    ryme?
    ’

    Herbedroom doorthenAbewalkedinasshe
    tur
    ned.Shelookedathim conf
    usedashe
    walkedoverandkissedher.Ni
    shadroppedt
    he
    cal
    l wat
    chinghi
    m godownonhi sknee.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    Atearrandownhercheekwhi
    l
    eherl
    i
    ps
    t
    rembled.
    Abeswal
    l
    owed.“
    Mar
    rymebabe…”
    Tearsrandownhercheeks.Shehadnev er
    thoughtofthismomentandt oseehi m down
    onhiskneesj ustthrewheroff.Theyhadn’t
    evenhadsexy etandsheknewi fhepressed
    shewasn’ tgoingtosaynoj ustthathehad
    neverpressedt oo.Nowshef inall
    yunderst
    ood
    howi tf
    elt.Shenoddedcrying.
    “
    Yes…”
    Abesmiledt
    hensl
    idthegl
    i
    tter
    ingr
    ingonher
    fi
    nger
    ,gotupandki
    ssedher.
    “
    Canwegonow?
    ”
    “
    Mykneesar
    eshaki
    ng.
    ”
    Hehelpedhersitonthebedthenshewiped
    aswayhertears.Nowsheunderst
    oodwhyt he
    make-upar
    tisthadappli
    edthewater
    proof
    make-
    up.
    “
    Your
    eal
    l
    ywantt
    ogetmar
    ri
    edagai
    n?”
    “Iwanttomar ryyoubecauseIloveyouandy ou
    l
    ov emet ogetherwithmykids.Iwanttosett
    le
    withyouandt histi
    mear oundgett
    ingtoi
    t
    knowingtherewon’ tbeachanceofdivor
    ce.I
    wanttogeti ntobecauseIknowthisforl
    if
    e.”
    Hel
    eanedoverandki
    ssedhert
    henseal
    edwi
    th
    al
    it
    tl
    ebabykiss.
    “
    Wear
    egoi
    ngt
    obel
    ate.Let
    ’sgo.
    ”

    *
    **

    Ginawalkedi
    nsi
    deTasha’
    shouseandwentt o
    theki
    tchenwher
    eherdaught
    erwas.Now
    seei
    ngheritwashar
    dtobeli
    evet
    hatthi
    swas
    thesamewomanwhohadal mostdiedbecause
    ofAIDs.
    “
    Ist
    hatt
    hechi
    cken?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Iam hungr
    y.Fi
    nishup.
    ”
    “
    Iam donet
    oo.
    ”
    “
    Sowhoi
    sthenewman?
    ”
    “
    Ma?
    ”
    “Youheardme,youknowhowy ougetwhenyou
    areseeinganewman.Ijusthopethi
    sisnot
    anotherMoemedithatwi
    llbl
    i
    ndy oufr
    om
    seei
    ngwhat ’
    sinfr
    ontofyou.
    ”
    Tashal
    aughed.“
    No.Thi
    sonei
    sdi
    ff
    erentandI
    l
    ovehim.”
    “Icansee.Ij usthopeheisgoodf oryou.The
    problem withy ouisthatt
    hemomenty ouget
    i
    nt oarelati
    onship,youforgetever
    ythingand
    treateveryoneasy ourenemy .Yougetsomuch
    blindedthaty oucan’
    tseparatewhat’sr i
    ghtand
    what ’
    swr ong.”
    “
    Mamamma,
    thi
    sti
    mear
    oundt
    her
    eisnot
    hing
    l
    i
    ket
    hat
    .”
    “Ihopeso.Your eallyhurtmet hattime, i
    t’
    snot
    onlythefactthatyour uinedy ourownl i
    febut
    yourbrother’
    stoo.Yout eamedupandbr ought
    thatwomani nhisli
    f esotodest r
    oyhi s
    mar r
    iageallbecausey ouhat edEazi andyou
    succeeded,youcel ebratedhisl ossbecause
    youhat edEaziallbecauseoft heliesMoemedi
    fedyou.Andwheni twasr eall
    yov er,you
    rej
    oicedbuty outookawayy ourbrother’s
    happiness.Yout ookawaymyhappi ness.Eazi
    wasagoodwoman. ”
    Tear
    sfi
    l
    ledTasha’
    sey
    es.“
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “KooresometimesIwonderwher ewewillbe
    hady ounotdonewhatyoudid,whereyour
    brot
    herwouldbe.Thepainthathesuffer
    s
    seei
    ngt hewomanhel ov
    eswi thanot
    herman.I
    hopey ounevermeetasist
    erin-l
    awli
    ke
    yourself
    .”
    TearsrandownTasha’
    scheeksasshelooked
    atthepaini
    nhermother
    ’seyes.“
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    Gi
    nal ookedupbli
    nkingawayhertear
    s.“I
    t’
    sok,
    l
    if
    el eassonsaremeanttot
    eachussomet hi
    ng.
    Di
    shup.Wecandowhatot herwomandoon
    l
    adiesnightoutwhi
    leyourfat
    herbabysi
    tshi
    s
    gr
    andchi l
    dren.
    ”
    Tahsawatchedhermot herwal koutthenshe
    wipedawayhertears.Shehadnoi deaoft he
    painshehadcausedt i
    l
    l thatverymomentand
    shewonderedhowEazi hadf el
    t.Shehadnev er
    tr
    iedtoimagi
    net hepainbef orebutsheknewi t
    wasn’tsomethi
    ngshewant edt oexper
    ience.

    *
    **

    RragweOtenglookedatt
    hekidsquetlysit
    ti
    ng
    withMal
    colm whoalsowasjustquiet
    .Theyhad
    beenqui
    etforawhi l
    enowal
    l becausethey
    wantedtospeakt
    othei
    rmot
    her
    .Hewal
    ked
    overtot
    hem.
    “Thefoodi
    sal
    mostr
    eady
    ,goandwashy
    our
    hands.”
    Mal
    col
    mlookedathi
    m.“
    Iam nothungr
    y.”
    “
    Malcol
    m,youhavenoteat
    enanyt
    hingsince,
    y
    ouneedtoeat.Youwantt
    oplayyourgame
    r
    ight
    ?Youhavetoeat
    .”
    “Iam notgoingtoeattil
    lIspeaktomymot her.
    ”
    Tearsfi
    ll
    edhi seyes.‘
    Idon’tunder
    standwhy
    youwon’tletmespeakt oher .Sheistheonly
    motjerIhaveandIwantt ospeakt oher.”
    “
    Itol
    dyou,
    shewasbusy
    .”
    “Iam notachi l
    dandIhear dyoutal
    kingtodad
    overthephone.Iknowdomet hingi
    swr ongwit
    h
    mama, Icanfeeli
    t.May beyoucan’
    tunderst
    and
    mebecausey ourmot herisnother
    ebutIknow
    somet hingi
    swr ong.Iwanttotalkt
    oher .
    ”
    RragweOtengl
    ookedathi
    m sadl
    y.“
    Ok,
    letme
    cally
    ourf
    ather
    .”
    Rr
    agweOt
    engt
    ookouthi
    sphoneandcal
    l
    ed
    Ot
    eng.
    “
    Papa…”
    “
    Malcol
    miscr
    ying,
    hewant
    stoseakt
    ohi
    s
    mot
    her.
    ”
    “
    Didy
    out
    ell
    him?
    ’
    “
    No.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    giv
    ehi
    mthephone.
    ”
    Rr
    agweOtenghandedMal
    col
    mthephoneand
    wal
    kedaway.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Heybuddy
    !Wher
    ear
    eyoursust
    ers.
    ”
    “
    Sit
    ti
    ngwi
    thme.
    ”
    “
    Ok.Domeafavor
    ,got
    othebedr
    oom,
    Iwantt
    o
    t
    alkt
    oyoual
    one.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hestoodupandwal
    kedt
    othebedr
    oom hewas
    sl
    eepi
    ngin.
    “
    Ok,
    youar
    ether
    e?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    Hislit
    tlevoi
    ceshook.“ Iwanttospeaktomama,
    Iknowt hatsomet hingiswrong.Ij
    ustwantvt
    o
    tal
    kt oherandy ouwon’ tl
    etme.Shei smyonly
    mom, sheisallIgot.Youcanleavemelike
    Summer ’
    sfatherleftmebecausey ouar
    enot
    realdadandIwon’ thaveanyone.Ij
    ustwantmy
    mother .
    ”
    “
    DidIr
    efuset
    olety
    out
    alkt
    omama?
    ”
    “
    Grandpasai
    dyousai
    dyouwer
    ebusy
    .”
    “
    Iam sor
    ryyouf
    eelIdon’twanttoletyouspeak
    t
    omama, Iwoul
    difIcouldbutmamagav ebir
    th
    t
    odayandyouhaveay oungerbr
    other.Hi
    s
    namei sOt si l
    eandhei sbi g.Yourmot her
    sli
    ppedi ntocomaaf tergi vingbi rthandt he
    doct orsar ehel pingher .Iam wai t i
    ngf orhert o
    wakeup, assoonaasshedoes, Iwi llmakesur e
    yout alkt oher .Ifyoudon’ tbel i
    ev eme, Iwill
    makeav i
    deocal lsoy oucanseeher .IknowI
    am noty ourr eal dadandIknowy ouhav ebeen
    disappoi ntedbef orebutt hisismeMal c,Iam
    notgoi ngany wher e.Iam al way sgoi ngtobe
    thereasy ourdad, asKy ra’sdad, asAl ana’sdad
    andasOt sile’
    sdad.Il ovey ousomuchbecause
    youar emyson, myf irstbor nandt hatwi l
    lnever
    change, Iwon’ tletitchange.Iam notgoi ngto
    l
    eav ey ou, youar eapar tofmemyboy ,y
    ouar e
    mysonsodon’ tletyourpastdi sappoi ntment s
    bli
    ndy ouf rom seei ngt hat .Iam al way sgoi ngto
    bet herenomat t
    erwhat .It houghty ouwoul d
    stayt hereal i
    ttl
    ewhi lebutt omor rowmor ningI
    willbet hereandIam goi ngt ogety ouguy s.”
    “
    Ial
    sowantt
    oseet
    hebaby
    .”
    “Iwil
    lsendpi
    ctur
    es.Il
    ovey
    ouok?Il
    ovey
    ou
    all
    .”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    “
    Letmespekt
    othegi
    rl
    snow.
    ”
    Malcol
    m wakedwit
    hthephonebacktowhere
    hi
    ssist
    erswhereandgav
    ethem thephone.

    *
    **

    Tinowalkedinsidethebigconferencer
    oom
    whichwasf i
    ll
    edwi t
    hAbe’ sworkersandtheir
    pl
    usoneshol dinghiswife’
    shand.Theywal ked
    overtowhereAbewasst andi
    ngt henhefist
    bumpedwi thhisbrotherwhil
    eTsot l
    hesmi l
    ed.
    “
    Thi
    sisbi
    g!”
    “
    Iknow,i
    t’
    sthecompany
    ’sanni
    ver
    sar
    y,i
    tought
    t
    obebig.
    ”
    Tsot
    lhenodded.“
    Andi
    t’
    sbeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    Herphonerangfrom herpur
    se,shet
    ookitout
    andlookedatt
    henumbersav edunderher
    mother’
    snamet hensmiledwal
    kingout
    answeri
    ng.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Finei
    fyouwantendourrel
    ati
    onshipbutift
    hat
    i
    smychild,
    Iam notgoi
    ngtoletanotherman
    r
    aisemyDNA.”
    “Thischi
    ldi
    snoty
    our
    ssodon’
    thol
    dyour
    breath.
    ”
    “
    Wewi
    l
    lseewheny
    ougi
    vebi
    rt
    h.”
    Tsotl
    het ookadeepbreat h.“
    Iam goingto
    abortt
    hisbabythensot hatallhopeisl
    ost,st
    op
    cal
    li
    ngme.Iam amar r
    iedwoman, youknew
    onedayIwoul dgobackt omyhusband
    becauseIlovehim.Iwi
    llseey ouonMondayat
    workMr .Mothusi
    .”
    “Youwatchedmeendmyr el
    ati
    onshipbecause
    youdidn’
    twanttoshar
    emeandt odaythi
    sis
    howitgoesdown?Yougavemet heimpression
    thaty
    ouwoul dl
    eavehi
    m.”
    “
    Iam sor
    rybutt
    hereisnowayIam goingto
    l
    eav
    emyhusband.Whatwehadwasj ust
    t
    emporaryf
    un.Stopcal
    li
    ngmeifi
    thasnothing
    t
    odowi t
    hwork.”
    Shehungupst andingthought
    ful
    l
    y .Whati
    f
    real
    l
    ythechil
    dwashi sandnotTino’
    s?She
    swall
    owedthendi al
    edanumber .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi.I
    t’
    sTsot
    lhe,
    Iwantt
    hosepi
    l
    ls.
    ”
    “
    Whenandwher
    e?”
    “Tomorr
    ow,l
    et’
    smeetatmywor
    kpl
    ace’
    s
    parki
    ngl
    ot.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    P800.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lseey
    ouont
    omor
    row.
    ”
    *
    **

    I
    nsidet
    heconf
    erencer
    oom,
    Tinosmi
    l
    edathi
    s
    br
    other
    .
    “
    Congr
    atsman!
    ”
    “Yeah,hopef
    ull
    ythi
    sti
    mearoundi
    twi
    l
    lbe
    dif
    ferent
    .Sheisspeci
    al.
    ”
    “
    May
    bewecanact
    ual
    l
    yhav
    edoubl
    eweddi
    ngs.
    ”
    “
    Tendai
    suggest
    edt
    hesame.I
    twi
    l
    lbeni
    ce.
    ”
    “I
    t’
    sagoodi
    dea.Andpeopl
    ewi
    l
    lonl
    ygat
    her
    once.
    ”
    “
    Iwill
    tal
    ktoNi
    shaabouti
    tbutIdon’
    tseeher
    r
    efusi
    ng.
    ”
    Tino’
    sphonerangthenhetookitoutand
    answeredtheunsavednumber.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi,y
    ouareseaki
    ngt
    oOwen,
    Ihav
    esomet
    hing
    t
    otell
    you.
    ”
    “
    Whoar
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Owen,i
    st her
    eanywayIcanseeyou.It
    ’s
    i
    mport
    ant.Maybetomor
    row?It
    ’sanurgent
    mat
    ter
    .”
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #128

    Thef oll
    owingmorningOtengpar
    kedinfrontof
    hisfather’
    shouseearlymorni
    ngandlookedat
    thedoorf orawhil
    e.Herubbedhisf
    acet hen
    tookhisr i
    ngi
    ngphone.
    “
    Yah?
    ”
    “
    Thi
    ngsarel
    ookingup,t
    heyaregoi
    ngtor
    elease
    y
    ourmoneybutofcausenotal
    lofi
    t.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok,al
    lIwanti
    sfort
    histobeover
    .Ei
    ther
    t
    heykeepthemoneyornot.Ij
    ustwanti
    tover
    .”
    “Thereisnothingbecauset heydon’ thave
    anythingony ou.Theyar elookingfor
    somet hi
    ng,any t
    hingthatcancountasachar ge.
    Theywer esohappyabouty ourgunbutnowt o
    knowi t’
    sactuall
    yr egi
    steredtheyhav enothi
    ng
    that’
    swhyt heyar edraggingt hi
    s.Theycan’tdo
    anythingtoyouaboutt hef akeUSdol lar
    sjust
    thattheyaregoingt otaket hem.”
    “
    Iknow,
    keepmeupdat
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Soy
    ouar
    eokf
    inanci
    all
    y?”
    “
    Yeah.Iam good.
    ”
    Hehungupt henst
    eppedoutandwalkedtothe
    door
    .Heknocked,secondsl
    aterhi
    sfather
    ’s
    maidopenedthedoorandsmiled.
    “
    Comei
    n,goodmor
    ning.
    ”
    “
    Hey
    ,ar
    etheki
    dssl
    eepi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Yesbutev
    ery
    thi
    ngoft
    hei
    rsi
    spacked.
    ”
    “
    Good.
    ”
    Hewal
    kedinsidet
    hehousetot
    hei
    rroomsand
    f
    oundal
    lofthem i
    nonebed.Hesmil
    ed.
    “
    Guy
    s!Wakeup!Let
    ’sgetmov
    ing!
    ”
    Malcol
    m openedhisey
    esthenjumpedoutoft
    e
    bedseei
    ngOt eng.Hel
    aughedhuggi
    nghi
    m.
    “
    Heybuddy
    !What
    ’sup?
    ”
    “
    Wear
    egoi
    ngnow?
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    Isai
    dIam comi
    ngear
    lymor
    ning.
    ”
    Kyr
    aslowl
    yopenedherey
    est
    hensmi
    l
    ed
    st
    ari
    ngatherf
    ather
    .
    “
    Daddy
    ?”
    “
    Heypr
    incess,
    wakeup.Wear
    egoi
    ng.
    ”
    HepickedAlanawhowashalfasl
    eep.“
    Puton
    yourshoes,
    wewi l
    lbat
    hathome.”
    Hi
    sfat
    herwal
    kedi
    nandl
    ookedathi
    m.“
    You
    dr
    oveatni
    ght
    ?”
    “If
    lewear
    lyear
    lymor
    ning.Iam t
    aki
    ngt
    hem
    home.”
    HeputAlanadown.“Sweety
    ,putonyourshoes,
    ever
    yoneputonyourshoes,br
    ushyourteet
    h
    andwearthecl
    othesAunti
    eputoutforyou.We
    arel
    eavi
    ng.”
    Hewalkedt
    ohi
    sfat
    her
    ’sbedr
    oom wi
    thhi
    s
    f
    ather
    .
    “
    Whati
    sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “Eazil
    ostalotofbl oodduri
    ngbi r
    thandthe
    doctorsaidi
    t’sbecausesomet hingwentwrong
    andthatresultedinherhavingKidneyf
    ail
    ure
    duetol owbloodbutt heyaregivi
    ngherIVfl
    uids
    andev ery
    thi
    ngt hatisneeded.Ihavehope.
    ”
    “
    Youhav
    etopr
    ay.
    ”
    “
    Iknow.
    ”
    “
    Shewi
    l
    lbef
    ine.
    ”
    “WhenshewakesupIj
    ustwantt
    oenj
    oymylif
    e
    wit
    hmyf ami
    l
    y.Iwantt
    obethemantheyal
    l
    need.
    ”
    “
    That
    ’st
    hef
    ir
    stst
    ep,
    howi
    sthey
    oungone?
    ”
    “
    Hei
    sfi
    ne.Eazi
    ’
    saunti
    sther
    ewi
    thhi
    m.”
    “
    Theonewhowasgoi
    ngt
    ohel
    pher
    ?”
    “
    Yes,sheisr
    eall
    ygoodwit
    hki
    dsandIt
    rusther
    f
    ull
    y.IknowEazidoest
    oo.
    ”
    “
    ThankGodshei
    sther
    etohel
    p.”
    Otengopenedthedoorthencaughtsi
    ghtofa
    phoneonthedressingt
    able.Hetur
    nedand
    l
    ookedathisfather
    .
    “
    So…ar
    eyoudat
    ingt
    heseday
    s?”
    “
    Iam t
    oool
    dfort
    hat
    .”
    “
    Butnottoooldt
    osleepwitht
    hemai d?Shei
    s
    y
    oungerthanme,sheisPenny
    ’sage.Oryoul
    ike
    t
    hem young?”
    “
    Whatar
    eyout
    alki
    ngabout
    ?”
    Otengl
    aughedshaki
    nghi
    sheadwi
    thdi
    sbel
    i
    ef
    t
    henwalkedout.
    “
    Guy
    slet
    ’sgo!
    ”
    Theki
    dswal
    kedoutthenhepickedt
    hei
    rbags
    andwal
    kedbehi
    ndthem.Helookedatt
    hemaid.
    “Arey ouhappyhere?Ev erythi
    ngok?Noonei s
    forcingyouint
    oany thi
    ngr ight
    ?Iknowabout
    thesi t
    uati
    onbackathomebutIdon’ twant
    any onetousethattotheiradv antage.I
    fit
    ’s
    helpy ouneed,Iwil
    laskmywi fesot hatwecan
    helpy ou.Youdon’thavet ohav eanyoneuse
    thatsituat
    iont
    ot akeadv antageofy ou.Ar
    ey ou
    ok? ”
    Shel
    ookedathi
    m.“
    Iam f
    inesi
    r.
    ”
    “
    Sur
    e?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    seey
    ou.
    ”
    Hejumpedinhi
    scart
    hendr
    oveoutofhi
    s
    f
    ather
    ’syar
    d.
    Mal
    col
    m putonhisseat
    beltt
    henlookedathi
    m.
    “
    Wearedri
    vingbacktoGaborone?
    ”
    “No,
    wear efl
    yi
    ng.Justli
    kewedidwhenyou
    camehere,wearedri
    vingtoMaunthenf
    lyback
    home.”
    Hetur
    neduphisradi
    oandpl
    ayedoneofEaz
    i’
    s
    f
    avori
    tesongs.

    *
    **

    Ont
    lamet
    siwal
    kedoutoft
    hesuper
    mar
    keton
    t
    hephonewit
    hheraunt
    .
    “Thebabyisfi
    ne,Otengsai
    dthedoctorsai
    d
    thatEazi
    hadkidneyfai
    lur
    eduetotheamount
    ofbloodshelost
    .Iguessnoonecaredatthe
    publi
    chospit
    altohelpher
    .”
    “Andasusual t
    hekidswil
    lal
    waysbeont he
    disadvantage.Someti
    mesIdon’tknowhow
    Eazithinks,wherewasshegoingwiththatbig
    stomach?Sheknewshewasaboutt opop.Le
    wenaaunt i
    eyoushouldn’
    thavel
    ethergo. ”
    “
    Shesai
    dshewasgoi
    ngt
    oseeaf
    ri
    end.
    ”
    Shegoti nhercar.“Iwanttocomet her
    ebutI
    havet oatt
    endaf amilyeventwit
    hAkany ang.
    Wej ustgotmarri
    edandIdon’ twanttost artby
    missingtheimpor t
    antfuncti
    ons.ButIwillkeep
    communi cati
    ng.”
    “
    It
    ’sokmygir
    l.Soar
    eyouandAkany
    naggoi
    ng
    t
    ohavechi
    l
    dren?”
    “
    Wehav
    eagr
    eedonhav
    ingonemor
    e.”
    “
    That
    ’sgood.
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Howi
    sev
    ery
    thi
    ng?Ar
    eyouhappy
    ?”
    “
    Mor
    ethanhappyaunt
    y.Iam r
    eal
    l
    yhappy
    ,he
    compl
    etesme.NowIunderst
    andwhatEazi
    meanswhenevershesay
    sOtengwastai
    lor
    madeforher
    .”
    “Iam sohappyf oryoumychi l
    d.Iknowt hatthe
    trut
    hr eall
    yhurtyoubutIam glady oudidn’tl
    et
    thatchangey ou.Youhavesol dier
    edonl i
    kea
    soldieryouareandIam pr oudofy ou.That’s
    whatst rengt
    hisallabout.Iam gladyouand
    Eazi aresti
    ll
    close,
    notasol dtimesbuty ouar e
    stil
    lclose.Youaresti
    llsi
    sters.
    ”
    “
    Met
    oo.
    ”
    “
    Okmygi
    rl
    ,wewi
    l
    ltal
    k.”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lcal
    ll
    aterf
    oranupdat
    e.”
    “
    Ok,
    bye!
    ”
    Ontlametsi
    hungupstart
    inghercart henTan
    pul
    ledupbesideher
    .Helookedatherst epping
    outofhiscarandsmil
    ed.Ontl
    asmi led,hest i
    ll
    l
    ookedt hesameonlyt
    hathehadal ostsome
    weightandshewonderedifi
    twast hedi vorce.
    “
    Hey
    !”
    “
    Hi…”
    “
    Wow,
    longt
    ime…”
    Shel
    aughed.“
    Iknow.
    ”
    “
    Ist
    hatar
    ing?
    ”
    “Yes, Iam mar ri
    ed.Iam sohappyt oseey ou,
    afterhowy oujustbrokeupwi t
    hmeIwas
    wai t
    ingf ory ourkarma.Itcamepr ett
    yrough.
    Howdoy oucheatonabeaut i
    fulwomanl i
    ke
    Linawi thmer eLebot ha?Imean,theclasses
    arejustsodi fferentorLinai
    nti
    midatedy ouso
    muchy ouwant eday oungwomany oucanhav e
    control ov er?”
    “
    Real
    l
    ynow?
    ”
    “
    Yes,whateverwayi twas,y
    oulostadiamond
    t
    herechasingstones.Iknowyouknowi tbut
    r
    ightnowreali
    tyhasn’thi
    tyou.Gi
    veitacouple
    y
    earsandy ouwillseewhatIam tal
    ki
    ngabout.
    Painandregretisalwaysnastyandpai nf
    ulto
    swall
    owwhenr ott
    en.Rightnowit’
    sst i
    l
    l f
    resh,
    youareyettof eeli
    t.Li
    fe…”Shesighed.“Hasa
    funnywayoft eachi
    ngusi mport
    antt hi
    ngs.
    Greatseei
    ngy ou.”
    Shestar
    tedthecarandr
    ever
    sedf
    rom t
    he
    par
    kingspotthendr
    oveaway.

    *
    **

    Owenpickedhi
    scarkey
    swhi
    l
    ehi
    syounger
    br
    otherl
    ookedathi
    m.
    “
    Youar
    enotser
    iousr
    ightnow.
    ”
    “
    Iam.
    ”
    “Youaret hi
    nkingwithyouremoti
    ons.Youronl
    y
    problem wast ogetint
    oitthi
    nki
    ngthati
    twas
    forever
    .Mar r
    iedpeoplewouldneverl
    eavethei
    r
    partner
    sf oraside.Thatwil
    lnev
    erhappen.You
    tel
    li
    ngherhusbandi snotgoingtogetTsot l
    he
    backbutrat herhemi ghtshootyoutodeath
    becausey ouf uckedhiswife.Hemightfucky ou
    upsobad, humi l
    i
    ateyouthengobackt ohis
    wife,
    theyf i
    xt hi
    ngsandmov eon.Youonot her
    handwillbet hebusinessmant hatwasusedby
    awoman.I sthatthereputati
    onyouwant ?Is
    thatt
    hedr amay ouwantt oputyouandy our
    companyi n? ”
    “
    Shewant
    stoabor
    tmybaby
    .”
    “Youarenotevensur eifthatbabyisev enyours.
    LetTsotl
    hego, obvi
    ouslyshei sjustaloose
    pantybecauseifnotyoui t
    ’sgoingtobeanot her
    man.Shei sacheaterandshei salwaysgoing
    tocheat,i
    magineget t
    ingherandl osingherthe
    samewayherhusbandl osthersoy ougether.
    Sheisnotworthit.Iknowf orsureIwoul dn’
    t
    wantawhor eofawi fe.”
    “
    Ilov
    eher
    .”
    “
    Youwil
    lgetoverher,herhusbandwi
    ll
    findout,
    l
    ethi
    mfindoutonhisown.Youar egett
    ingold
    t
    obechasingaft
    erthatwoman.Mov eon.”
    “
    Sheboast
    ful
    .
    ”
    “Leav eheralone, sheiaboastfulbecauseshe
    l
    ov estheatt
    entiony ouar egiv
    ingher, making
    herf eell
    ikeshei ssitt
    ingallupthere.Don’t
    ev endaregot ot heoffice,i
    t’
    saSat urday,l
    ether
    wor kt
    herealoneorwhat everbutstayaway
    from her.Don’tactl i
    keabi t
    chwho’ sjustbeen
    dumpedbyasugardaddyandi swonder i
    ng
    howshei sgoingt opayherrentendofmont h.”
    Owenf
    rowned.“
    Eng?
    ”
    Hi
    sbrot
    hermov
    edbackl
    aughi
    ng.“
    Youhear
    d
    me!
    ”
    “
    Wany
    elat
    lhemonna,
    kemangbi
    tch?
    ”
    Hisyoungerbrotherlaughedwalki
    ngout.Owen
    thought
    ful
    lysatinhissitti
    ngroom t
    hinki
    ng
    abouthisl
    ife.Howf unwoul di
    tbetoactual
    ly
    sendherhusbandthatli
    tt
    levi
    deotheyhad
    made?May benotnow.Hewoul dwaitfort
    he
    ri
    ghtt
    imeandsendi t,f
    orsureshewouldfeel
    whathewasf eel
    i
    ngt oday.

    *
    **

    Pennygotsomefl
    owersf
    rom af
    lowerst
    ore
    thenwal
    kedbacktot
    hecarandgoti
    n.Keit
    h
    l
    ookedather.
    “
    Goodt
    ogo?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Keit
    hst ar
    tedthecaranddr
    oveheadedt
    othe
    pri
    vatecli
    nic.“
    Youmustbesoclosewit
    hyour
    si
    sterin-l
    aw.”
    Pennysmil
    ed.“Il
    oveher,
    sheismyonlyf
    riend.
    Shewasmadatmef orawhil
    ebutshecan’t
    hol
    dgrudgesforsolong,
    assoonasshe
    cal
    meddownt hi
    ngswerebacktohowthey
    were.If
    eel
    li
    kershei
    sthesist
    erInev
    erhad.
    ”
    Kei
    thnodded.“
    Shesoundsgr
    eat
    .”
    Pennysmi
    led.“
    Youdon’
    tknowany
    thi
    ng,
    shei
    s
    awesome.
    ”
    “OhhbeforeIf
    orget
    ,IsentyoumyNetfl
    ix
    passwordmmehel aendofmont h,
    you
    contr
    ibut
    eforthesubscr
    ipt
    ion.
    ”
    Pennyl
    aughed.“
    YesSi
    r!
    ”
    Kei
    thst
    oppedbyt
    her
    edt
    raf
    fi
    cli
    ghtl
    aughi
    ng.

    Meanwhi l
    eBar r
    ystoppedbesi dethei
    rcar
    pressi
    nghisphone, heari
    ngherl aughhetur
    ned
    hisheadandl ookedatthem.Hi sheartst
    arted
    poundingsohar ditfel
    tasifitwantedto
    escapethroughhisribcage.Hewat chedthe
    unfamili
    armant ouchherhairwhi l
    esheblushed
    thenwithshakinghandshedi aledhernumber
    andwaitedasitrang.Hest ar
    edatherast he
    mansaidsomet hingthenshel aughed.The
    tr
    aff
    icchangedthent hegr aypimpedLegend50
    spedoff.Hedrovebehi ndthem f oll
    owingthem,
    hepressedhishooterdr i
    vi
    ngbesi dethem,
    Pennyandt hemant urnedt ohim.Hedi al
    edher
    numbert hensheanswer ed.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Tel
    lhi
    mtost
    opt
    hecar
    !”
    “
    Bar
    ry,
    youar
    enotmybr
    other
    .St
    opi
    t.
    ”
    “Whatarey
    oudoi
    ngwi
    thhi
    m?Ar
    eyoucheat
    ing
    onme? ”
    “
    Idon’
    twanttoinvol
    veOt
    engi
    ntot
    his,
    don’
    t
    f
    orcemeplease.
    ”
    Shehungup.

    *
    **
    I
    ntheLegend50,
    Kei
    thl
    ookedather
    .
    “Letmetalkt
    ohim, Iknowhowbr
    other
    scanbe,
    Ialsohav
    easi st
    er.
    ”
    “Ngng,Ihaveallowedthesepeopl
    etohave
    enoughcontr
    ol overmylif
    e.Youarenot
    stoppi
    ng.Iwil
    ldealwit
    hit.”
    “
    Yousur
    e?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”

    Barr
    ywatchedastheLegend50drov
    eaway ,
    feel
    i
    ngasifsomethingwassit
    ti
    ngonhist
    hroat
    ,
    heswal
    lowedpainfull
    y.Her
    ubbedhi
    stear
    s
    dri
    vi
    ngaft
    erthem.

    *
    **

    Att
    hepr
    ivat
    ecl
    i
    nic,
    thenur
    sewal
    kedi
    nEazi
    ’
    s
    room checki
    ngaf ewt hi
    ngs,shef i
    xedt hesheet
    thenpausedstari
    ngatherhandsl ightl
    ymov i
    ng.
    Shelookedatherf acethenEazi mov edher
    headabi t
    ,sheranoutcal l
    i
    ngf orthedoct or
    .
    .
    l
    eav
    eal
    i
    keandacomment
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #129

    Binawalkedi
    nhermother’
    shousecarryi
    nga
    fewplasti
    cbags,
    Kopolookedatherseatedon
    thecouchwhil
    esheproccededtot
    hekitchen
    wherehermotherwascooking.
    “
    MamaIhopey
    oudi
    dn’
    tcal
    lmef
    orher
    .”
    “Weneedtot
    alkandwor
    koutabet
    terpl
    anf
    or
    Jessi
    ca.
    ”
    “Iam notwor kinganybet terplanforJessi ca!
    Kopocamet omyhomeandsl eptwi thmy
    husband.Myhusband!Ev erytineIthinkoft hi
    s,I
    feelthispaini nmyhear t
    ,thepai nthiswoman
    hascausedme.Shewant edmyl if
    e,shehas
    alway swant edmyl i
    feandIknowMoemedi
    didn’twantherchi ldbutshekeptt hepr egnancy
    thinkinghewoul dcomear ound.Thati snotmy
    fault,andIam notgoi ngtot akeresponsi bil
    it
    y
    forit.Ididn’
    tgetacentf rom Moemedi ’
    smoney ,
    hegav eitallt
    ohi schildr
    enandexwi fe.EX
    WI FE!Shegav ethemoneyt omenotbecauseI
    beggedherbutbecausesheknowswhatIhad
    toputupwi th.Iwor kedhar dtoachi eveal l
    I
    hav eachi ev
    edandIam notgoi ngtoshar emy
    successwi thher.Sheshoul dl ookforaj oband
    stopl ookingforhandout s.Ev enwhenshehada
    reall
    ygoodj obatt hatbigcompany ,shest il
    l
    want
    edtodrai
    nmymoney.Iam t
    ir
    ed!Sheev
    er
    ev
    enapologi
    zedf
    orsl
    eepi
    ngwit
    hmyhusband.”
    Kopowal kedi nsidetheki t
    chen.“Iam sorrythat
    Isleptwi thy ourhusband, Iam sorrythatI
    disrespect edy ou, Iam sorrythatIbroughta
    childintot his.Iam r eall
    ysor r
    yIbetrayedy ou
    afterev erythingy oudi dforme.Iknowt he
    whol esi t
    uat i
    onhur t
    sy oubuthel pmychi ld.I
    am notwel landany t
    hingcanhappent ome, I
    needt oknowmychi ldwillbesafeiny our
    hands, inmymot her’
    shandsandi fnotthenI
    am goi ngt ost artlookingforniceor phanages
    wher eshewi l
    l gowhenIdi e.Idon’
    twantt o
    burdeny ouwi thmydaught er.
    ”
    Theirmothershookherhead.“ Nothingi
    s
    happeningtoany oneandIam alway sgoi
    ngto
    bethere.Mygr andchil
    drenarenotaburden.It
    ’s
    fi
    neBina,youcankeepy ourmoneyand
    everyt
    hingofyour s.NowallIwantisforyou
    si
    sterstoactuall
    ybehav eli
    kefamily
    .Forhow
    l
    ongwi
    llyouhateeachother.Ineedy
    out
    oput
    y
    ourdi
    ff
    erencesasideandjustbeafami
    l
    y.”
    “Ihav enopr obl
    em wit
    hher,Aidsandot her
    diseasesal r
    eadydeltwit
    hherf orme.God
    wor ksinmi r
    aculousways.AllIwantisforher
    tost opforci
    ngmet ofinanci
    all
    yt akecareofher
    daught erwhowasconv i
    ncedthroughmy
    husbandcheat i
    ngonmewi t
    hher .”
    “Thati
    soutoftheway,Kopoi
    snev
    ergoi
    ngt
    o
    askforany
    thi
    ngfrom y
    ou.”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Bina’
    sopendherhandbagandtookouther
    ri
    ngingphone.Shewal
    kedoutansweri
    ng.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Heybabe,
    oneofmycousi
    nsi
    sget
    ti
    ngmar
    ri
    ed
    t
    omorr
    ow.”
    “
    Yout
    oldme.
    ”
    “
    Iwanty
    out
    ocomewi
    th.
    ”
    “
    Isn’
    titt
    oosoonLet
    so?
    ”
    “
    Toosoonf
    orwhat
    ?”
    “
    Tomeety
    ourf
    ami
    l
    y?”
    “
    No,
    it’
    sact
    ual
    l
    yther
    ightt
    ime.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    ousur
    e?”
    “
    Mor
    ethansur
    e.”
    “
    Ok,Iam onmywayhomesoy
    ouwi
    l
    lpi
    ckme
    f
    rom t
    here.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    giv
    emet
    wohour
    s.Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Iwentt
    oseemymot
    her
    .”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    Bi
    nawal
    kedbacki
    nsi
    det
    hehouse.

    *
    **
    KhumowalkedinsideMapul
    a’shousehol
    ding
    herfoodt
    henlookedatherasshewatchedTV
    l
    yingonherst
    omach.
    “
    Heybabe…”
    “
    Hi.
    ”
    Hehelpedhersi
    tthenl
    ookedatherfl
    ushed
    f
    ace.Herperi
    odsalway
    sdidthattoher.
    “Igotyouf
    oodandt
    hepai
    nki
    l
    ler
    sfr
    om t
    he
    doctor
    .”
    “
    Yout
    ooksol
    ong.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.Eatf
    ir
    st.
    ”
    Sheopenedt
    heNandosbagt
    hent
    ookaf
    ew
    bi
    tes.
    “
    Nextmont
    hIam get
    ti
    ngy
    oupr
    egnant
    .”
    Maoul
    alookedathim andl
    aughed.Khumo
    smi
    ledhel
    pinghereat.
    “
    That
    ’sapr
    omi
    se,
    Iam knocki
    ngy
    ouup.Next
    y
    eart
    hist
    imewewoul
    dhav
    eourchi
    l
    d.”
    “
    Idon’
    twantt
    olookf
    ati
    nmyweddi
    nggown.
    ”
    “Thentheweddi ngwil
    lhavetohappenbef ore
    youstartshowingbecauseIam tel
    li
    ngy ou,Iam
    knockingyouupt omorrowMmaMot husi.Next
    yeartoothentheotheryear
    .”
    “
    Ican’
    thandl
    epr
    egnancyev
    eryy
    ear
    .”
    “
    Butt
    hat
    ’showi
    t’
    sgoi
    ngt
    ohappen.
    ”
    Mapulal
    ookedathi
    m asheshov
    edsomechips
    i
    nhermouthandmadehertakeasi
    pofher
    dr
    ink.
    “
    Yourbr
    other
    -“
    “
    Seemesheal
    readyknew.
    ”
    Shesmil
    ed.“
    Iam sor
    ryj
    ustthatIdi
    dn’
    twant
    youandhi
    mt of
    ighti
    nthefutur
    esoItol
    dhim
    mysel
    f.
    ”
    Khumochuckl
    ed.“
    Youhel
    pedme,
    atl
    easti
    t
    wasn’
    tashocktohi
    m.”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    “
    Ispoket
    omyuncl
    es,
    ever
    ythi
    ngi
    sset
    .”
    “
    Final
    l
    y!”
    Khumoki
    ssedhert
    hencont
    inuedf
    eedi
    ngher
    .

    *
    **

    TanlookedatLi na’svi
    deohol dingherdaught er,
    thevideopl ayedforami nuteorsot henhe
    thoughtfull
    yst ar
    tedtypingbuter asedthewor ds.
    Heswal lowedhar dwonder ingwhyhehadnev er
    pushedt heyadoptdur ingt hei
    rmar ri
    age.The
    happinesshesawi nherey esinthatv i
    deowas
    thehappi nesshehadhopedt oseet hroughout
    thei
    rmar riagebuthenev ersawi tbecauseshe
    wasal way sonaboutt hem hav ingachi l
    dwhen
    i
    tseemedi mpossibletohappen.Hewentt ohis
    contactsandcal ledher.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi,
    congr
    atul
    ati
    onsont
    hebaby
    .”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Wer
    eyouev
    erhappywi
    thme?
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “Wereyoueverhappywi
    thme?Wer
    eyouev
    er
    genui
    nelyhappywit
    hme?”
    “
    Whatar
    eyout al
    ki
    ngaboutTan?Idon’
    thav
    e
    t
    imef
    orthi
    s.”
    “Thr oughoutourmar ri
    agey ouwer ealway s
    cryingf orababyandIknowhowt hathadan
    effectony ou,itdidn’tal
    lowy outoenjoy
    any thing.Youhi dal l
    thatpai nbehindy ourwor k,
    atfirsty oushar edev eryt
    hingwi thmebutas
    ti
    mewentony oujustlosttouch.Youpr etended
    youwer efineandshutmeout .Youshutmeout
    andl ockedy ourselfi
    nwi thy ourfeel
    ings.Icoul d
    nev ert ellwheny ouwer esadorhappy ,
    someti
    mesy oujustpretended.NotthatIam
    blami
    ngyoubutsomet i
    mesy oubroughtthe
    sameatti
    tudey oudisplayincourthome.You
    aresodefensiveLina.Youar eal
    way sri
    ght.So
    wereyouev erhappywi thme?Di dIevermake
    youhappy?”
    “
    Arey
    out
    ryi
    ngt
    oswi
    tchbl
    ame.
    ”
    “Iam notswit
    chi
    nganybl ame.Imessedup, I
    know.Ijustwanttoknowi feverImadey ou
    happy,i
    feveryouwer ehappywi t
    hme.I
    cheat
    edandaskedf oradivor
    ce,IknowandI
    knowy ouwantedtof i
    xourmar ri
    agebutIwent
    onwiththedivor
    cebecauseIknewone, there
    wasnowayy ouwoul dtot
    all
    yforgiveme,they
    wouldalwaysbear eminderofwhatIdidt oyou,
    two,youwerenothappybabe.Ev enbef
    ore
    Lebothayouwerejustnothappy .Iwasn’
    tgoing
    toconti
    nueknowingy ouarenothappy .
    ”
    Li
    nasni
    ff
    ed.“
    Iwashappy
    .”
    “
    Behonestwithyour
    self
    !Youkeptr
    emi ndi
    ng
    meaboutwhatyourexhaddonetoy ou,i
    twas
    l
    ikeIwassuff
    eri
    ngforanot
    herman’ssins.You
    weredeal
    ingwit
    hyourcondi
    ti
    onandy oudidn’
    t
    l
    etmei n.
    ”
    “
    Idi
    dn’
    twantt
    okeepdi
    sappoi
    nti
    ngy
    ou!
    ”
    “Youwerenotdi sappointingme, IknewwhatI
    hadgottenmy selfi
    nt owhenIf i
    rstmety ou,I
    knewandIwasr eadyf orit.Youshutmeout ,
    theonlyconnectionwehadwassexual .At
    somepoi nti
    fIdidn’tcallyouwoul dn’
    tcall
    ,I
    camet oGaboroneandIst ayedthereforalong
    ti
    mebuty ounev ergav emet hetimeoft heday.
    Youwoul dimmer sey ourselfinyourwor kwhich
    i
    sgoodbecausel ookhowf aryouhav ecome
    babebutitaff
    ect edme.Andev eryti
    meIt ol
    d
    you,youweresodef ensi
    v eme. ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry,
    Ijustwasn’
    thappywi
    thmy
    sel
    f.
    ”
    “
    Iknowi
    t’
    sov
    er.AndIknowy
    ouhat
    eme,
    Idon’
    t
    blameyoubabe.Iembar r
    assedy ou,hur tyouin
    theworstpossiblemanner .Idi
    dtheunt hi
    nkable
    andforthatIwillf
    oreverapologi
    zed.Il ovey ou,
    IknowIletwhatIhadwi t
    hLebot hablindme
    butIl
    ovey ousomuchandIwantnot hingbut
    happi
    nessf oryou.Iwanty outodealwi t
    hy our
    demons, don’
    thidefrom them usingthebaby .
    Dealwit
    ht hem sothatshecanal sogett helove
    shedeserves.Shedeser v
    est hebest.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “AndIhav ealwayswant edy outoknowt hatI
    wasn’tjkeepi
    ngmyki dsf rom youjystthatI
    didn’
    twantt omakey ouf eelli
    keIwasf orci
    ng
    mykidsont oy ousothaty oucanf orgethaving
    yourown, Idi
    dn’twantyout ogetat tachedto
    thekidsandbel eftwit
    hav oidwhent heywent
    backt othei
    rmot her
    s.Youhav eyourownnow. ”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    bye.
    ”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Tanhungupt hensmi l
    edsteppingoutofthecar
    andwalkedinsidethegate.Hi
    sbabymama
    walkedoutholdinghert
    rashplasti
    cbag,she
    smiled.
    “
    Hey
    ….Letmegether
    .”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyout
    aki
    ngt
    hem agai
    n?”
    “
    Forav
    acat
    ion.
    ”
    Shesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Youar
    eagr
    eatf
    ather
    .”
    “
    Iknowr
    ight
    ?”
    Thebabymamal aughedthenshethrewt he
    tr
    ashandwalkedbackinsideherhouse.She
    camebackmoment slaterwit
    hherchil
    dand
    hel
    pedheri
    nt hecar
    .
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    ewel
    comeTan.
    ”
    Hestar
    tedthecarandreverseddr
    ivi
    ngt
    o
    anot
    herbabymama’ shouse.

    *
    **

    Lebothascr oll
    edt hroughherf acebookt hen
    cameacr ossCal vi
    n’sweddi ngpi ctur eswi tha
    whitewoman.Shecl ickedonhi spr of i
    leand
    wentdownhi stimel i
    nel ooki ngatt heweddi ng
    pict
    ures.Tear sfil
    ledherey esasshel ookedat
    everypicture.Shewentt othecomment sand
    readeachcongr atul
    at i
    ngt henewcoupl e.She
    wenttomessengerandsenthi m along
    message, t
    oact uall
    yt hinkshel ovedhi m.She
    l
    ookedatt hepicturesagai nt henat earr an
    downhercheekf oll
    owedbyt heot her .She
    fi
    nall
    ybr okedowncr yi
    ngput tingherhandson
    herface.Herr oommat ewal kedi nandl ookedat
    hersurprised.Shechuckl edshaki ngherhead,
    gotherphonewhi
    chwasont
    hechar
    gerand
    walkedoutl
    aughi
    ng.
    “Erengpai
    nmongwaneng!Out
    lwesel
    oser
    e
    dlevu!Momometsong.
    ”

    *
    **
    Abewalkedfrom t
    hekitchenshi
    rt
    lessholdi
    ng
    hi
    sbeerinhishandsthensatbesideNishawas
    waswatchingamov i
    e.
    "
    Babehowdoy
    ouf
    eel
    hav
    ingadoubl
    e
    weddi
    ng?
    "
    Ni
    shal
    ookedathi
    m."
    Wit
    hyourbr
    other
    ?"
    "
    Yes.
    "
    "Idon'tmindj ustthatIwantsomet hing
    diff
    erentfrom whatPhemel owant s.Iwanta
    smal lgat
    her i
    ngwi thclosefamil
    yandf ri
    ends,
    Phemel o'
    si deasar eforalargecrowd.Her
    themei salsodi ff
    erentfrom whatIwouldwant."
    "
    Ok,
    thenadoubl
    eweddi
    ngi
    sout
    ."
    "
    ButIal
    sowanty
    out
    ohav
    easay
    .If
    -"
    "
    Iwantwhatyouwant.Ifi
    t'
    sasmallwedding
    y
    ouwantthenthat
    'sit
    .Wewi l
    lhav
    eit.Iwant
    y
    outoenjoyt
    heday .
    "
    Ni
    shasmi
    ledasAbeki
    ssedher
    .Hi
    sphoner
    ang
    t
    henhepi
    cked.
    "
    Sadi
    ..
    ."
    "
    Hi,
    Iam goi
    ngt
    opi
    ckRonal
    dnow.
    "
    "Ok,Ial
    readyspoket
    omymot
    her
    .Shei
    s
    expecti
    ngy ou.
    "
    "
    Thanky
    ousomuch.
    "
    "
    Yeah.
    "
    Hehungupkissingherneck.Heputhisbeer
    downkissi
    nghermor ewhil
    eputti
    nghishand
    i
    nsideherdr
    essandpul l
    edoutherpanty
    .He
    breat
    hedheavi
    lytouchi
    ngherpussy,hepushed
    herdowm onthecouchgetti
    ngbetweenher
    l
    egs.Hetookofft
    hedressandkissedher
    ni
    pplesgr
    indi
    nghi
    serecti
    onagainsther
    .Nisha
    moanedclosi
    nghereyesasherbodyreact
    ed.
    Abetookouthisdickandr
    ubbedi
    tupand
    downhersli
    t.Nishamoanedmovi
    ngherwai
    st
    get
    ti
    ngmor eandmor ewet.
    "
    FuckIcan'
    twai
    tany
    mor
    e..
    ."
    Hepul
    l
    edhercl
    oserst
    ari
    ngathert
    hen
    #r
    emoved.

    *
    **

    Sadiparkedi
    nf r
    ontofGina'
    sgat
    ethenst
    epped
    outwalkingt
    hroughtheopengat
    e.She
    knockedonthedoort henGi
    naopenedminut
    es
    l
    ater.
    "
    Sadi
    ,hi
    ."
    "
    HiMa,
    Abesai
    dIcoul
    dcomeandcol
    l
    ect
    Ronny
    ."
    "
    Yeah,
    youcan.Comei
    n."
    Shewalkedinbehindherthensatonthecouch
    whil
    eGinacall
    edRonald.Hecameout
    moment sl
    ater
    ,theboylookedsomuchl i
    kehis
    fat
    heri
    twasasi fshedidn'
    tcontr
    ibut
    eanythi
    ng
    tohim.
    "
    Ronny
    ,comeandmeety
    ourmom.
    "
    Ronnyl
    ookedatSadi
    thenbackather
    gr
    andmother
    .
    "
    Goandsayhi
    ."
    Ronal
    dsl
    owl
    ywal
    kedov
    erst
    ari
    ngatSadi
    .
    "
    Himyboy
    ."
    Ronal
    dstoodstil
    lst
    ari
    ngattheunfamil
    iar
    woman.Saditr
    iedtotouchhi
    shandbuthe
    movedback.Shelookedathi
    mt earf
    ull
    y,her
    sondi
    dn'
    tevenknowher .
    "
    Hi,
    mynamei
    sSadi
    .What
    'sy
    ourname?
    "
    "
    Ronny
    ."
    Shesmi
    led."
    Nicename,
    Ilov
    eyourname.How
    ol
    darey
    ou? "
    "
    Thr
    ee.
    "
    "
    Ok.Youar
    ebi
    g."
    "
    Granny
    ,canIgoandpl
    ay?
    "
    "
    Uhhy
    esofcause.
    "
    Her
    anoutt
    henGi
    nal
    ookedatSadi
    .
    "Don'
    twor r
    y,hewil
    lgetusedtoy
    ouasti
    me
    goes.He'sjustaki
    d,soonyouwil
    lbe
    i
    nseparable."
    Sadinodded."Hopef
    ull
    y.Iwil
    lcomeback
    tomorrowifthat
    'sokwit
    hy ou.
    "
    "
    Wegot
    ochur
    ch,
    may
    beaf
    terchur
    ch.
    "
    "
    Any
    thi
    ngi
    sfi
    ne.
    "
    "
    Okmygi
    rl
    ."
    Sadi
    stoodupandwal
    kedout
    .Shesati
    nhercar
    andwipedawayat
    eart
    hathadr
    andownher
    cheek.

    *
    **

    Atthepri
    vat
    ecli
    nic,
    Otengwal kedwiththe
    chil
    dreni
    nsi
    de.“
    Soguy s,r
    ememberwhatIsai d.
    Mamai snotgoi
    ngtotalkbackt oyou,i
    twil
    lbe
    l
    ikesheissl
    eepi
    ng.Wear ejustgoi
    ngt oseeher
    thengohome.Noonei sdying,not
    hingisgoi
    ng
    tohappentoany
    onesonocr yi
    ng.Wear eon
    thesamepage?”
    “
    Yesdaddy
    .”
    Mal
    col
    m noddedwi
    thwi
    thAl
    ana.
    “
    Great
    ,let
    ’sgoi
    n.”
    Hewentt
    otherecept
    ion.“
    Hey
    ,Iwoul
    dli
    ket
    o
    seemywif
    e.”
    “
    Theki
    dst
    oo?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    youcangoi
    n.”
    “
    Ist
    hedoct
    oron?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Hewal
    kedwi
    tht
    heki
    dst
    oEazi
    ’
    sroom.
    “
    Guy
    s,r
    ememberwhatIsai
    dri
    ght
    ?”
    “
    Yes!
    ”
    Heopenedthedoort hentheywal kedin.The
    ki
    dsscreamedrunningi n,
    hetur nedhi
    sheadt o
    l
    ook.Hishear
    tskippedashel ookedatEazi
    awake.Shesmil
    edast heyranov ert
    oher .
    “
    Heyguy
    s…”
    “
    Mama!
    ”Mal
    col
    m huggedhert
    ear
    ful
    l
    y.
    “
    HeyMal
    c…”
    “
    I…I
    …”
    Hebr
    okedowncr
    ying.
    “
    Iam f
    ine.
    ”
    Kyr
    aandAl
    anacl
    i
    mbedonherbedt
    henhugged
    her
    .
    “
    Mommy
    ,Imi
    ssedy
    ou…”
    “
    Imi
    ssedy
    out
    ooguy
    s.”
    “
    Wear
    egoi
    nghomemommy
    .”
    “
    Nott
    odaybuty
    es.
    ”
    “
    Yourv
    oicei
    slow.
    ”
    At
    earr
    andownhercheek.“
    Iam f
    ine.
    ”
    Shel
    ookedatOt
    engandmout hed‘
    Iam sor
    ry’
    .
    Hewalkedov
    erandhuggedherwhi
    speri
    ng.
    “Youhavenothi
    ngtobesor
    ryaboutbabe,
    nothi
    ng.Youaregoi
    ngtobefi
    ne.”
    “
    Iam scar
    ed.
    ”
    Hecuppedherf aceandki
    ssedherhar
    d.“
    Iam
    herearen’
    tI?Youhavenot
    hingt
    obescared
    about.
    ”
    “
    Theki
    ds…”
    “
    Shhhyouaregoi
    ngt
    obefine.Don’
    tthi
    nkli
    ke
    t
    hat
    .Iwouldgi
    veupaki
    dneyforyouifi
    tget
    ’s
    t
    othatst
    age.
    ”
    “
    Mama,
    wesawt
    hebaby
    .”
    Eazi
    smi
    l
    ed.“
    Youdi
    d?I
    shebeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    “
    Hei
    sbi
    gandhecr
    iesal
    ot.
    ”
    “
    Ican’
    twai
    ttomeethi
    mtoo.
    ”
    “
    Ili
    kehi
    m,Ihav
    eabr
    othernow.
    ”
    Ot
    engl
    aughed.“
    Seebabe?It
    oldy
    ou.
    ”
    “Iwantt
    ohav
    emyt
    ubest
    ied.Iam donewi
    th
    kids.
    ”
    “Iam goodwit
    hthat
    .”Hel
    eanedoverand
    kissedher
    .“Wearedonewi
    thki
    ds.Ilovey
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    ”
    .
    Remembert
    hedeal
    fami
    l
    y,i
    fyoudon'
    t
    commentoninser
    tswewi
    l
    lset
    tl
    eforasi
    ngl
    e
    i
    nser
    tperday
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #130

    Laterthatday,Kopowal kedal ongtheroad


    headedbackhomecoughi ngadeepki ndof
    cough.Feelingtooweakt owal kshestoppedby
    abusst opandsatdownbr eathingheavi
    ly.I
    t
    start
    eddr i
    zzli
    ngasshest aredi ntonothi
    ng
    tearf
    ull
    y.Shecoul dn’thaveaskedf orali
    ftfr
    om
    Bina,notaftereverythi
    ngt hathadhappened.
    Feeli
    ngoutofai r,shelayont hebenchand
    closedherey eswonder ingi fthi
    swashowi t
    wasgoi ngtoendf orher.At eardroppedfrom
    thei
    nnercornerofhereyeandwentacr ossher
    noserunni
    ngdownt oherear.Herchestbur
    nt
    asshecoughedy etagainbutmuchmor e
    weakl
    yt hensheslowlyclosedhereyes.At
    l
    eastherdaughterwaswi t
    hhermot her,
    hopef
    ullyt
    heywoul dtakecareofher.

    *
    **

    Tseol ookedaroundwal kingdownt hest r


    eet
    stari
    ngatt hehouseaddr essscribbledona
    pieceofpaper .Shefi
    nallystoppedatbi g
    beautifulhousethentookadeepbr eathwalki
    ng
    throughthesl i
    ghtl
    yopengat ehopi ngt heywere
    nodogsatt heleast
    .Shewal kedt ot hedoor
    andknockedwi thapoundi ngheart.Awhi l
    e
    l
    at er
    ,ashi r
    tl
    essmanopenedt hedoor .
    “
    Hi,
    howcanIhel
    pyou?
    ”
    Sheswal
    l
    owedt
    hent
    ookadeepbr
    eat
    hin.“
    Hi,
    mynamei
    sTseo.Ioncecal
    l
    edy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Tseo?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Yoursi
    ster
    .Fr
    om y
    ourr
    eal
    mot
    her
    .”
    Hefr
    owned.“
    Arey
    oumessi
    ngwi
    thmer
    ight
    now?”
    “No.Iunder standyouwantnot hi
    ngt odowi th
    mymot herandIacceptt hat.I
    fIwerei nyour
    shoesIwoul dfeelthesame,Iwoul dn’twant
    anythingtodowi t
    ht hewomanwhonev er
    want edme.Yourmot herisnotfeeli
    ngwel l
    and
    shesentmeher etocal l
    you.Shewant stot al
    k
    toyou.Iusedmyl astmoneyt ocomeher eal l
    thewayf r
    om Ramot swa.Pleasecomeandsee
    her,youhav enor easont obutplease
    under st
    andwher eIam comi ngfrom.May be
    seei
    ngy ouwi l
    lmotivatehert okeepf i
    ghting
    becausei fIlosehert henIwi l
    lbeleftwithno
    one.Ev enifitmaybef orafewseconds, thatis
    sti
    ll
    f i
    ne.”
    Abel
    ookedatherandsi
    ghed.“
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ouv
    erymuch.
    ”
    Hewalkedbackinsi
    dethehousewhileshe
    movedback.Hersmall
    phoner ang.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Didy
    ouf
    indhi
    m?”
    “
    Yes.Wear
    ecomi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ousomuchmychi
    l
    d.”
    “May beaf teryouhearitfrom hi my ouwil
    l
    under standhewant snothingt odowi thyou
    andst opl ett
    ingthatfactstressy oubecause
    nowi t’saffecti
    ngy ourhealth.Youal so
    str
    essi ngmenow.I t
    ’shardt ofocuson
    anythingwheny ouar econst antl
    yst r
    essi
    ngme
    out.Af terthi
    swewi l
    lmov eonwi thourli
    ves.
    ”
    “
    Ijustwantt
    otal
    ktohi
    m.Thati
    sal
    l
    .”
    “
    Ok,
    wear
    ecomi
    ng.
    ”
    Minutesl
    ateraladywalkedouti
    nabeaut
    iful
    dressandlookedather.“Soy
    ourmot
    heristhe
    onethatabandonedhim? ”
    “
    Uhh.
    .”
    “Andy
    ousuddenl
    yrememberhim nowthathe
    hasmadei
    t,howdoesthatmakeyoufeel
    ?”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “Youwanttousehim,Iknowpeopleli
    keyour
    mother,al
    waysshowsupwhent hi
    ngsare
    l
    ookingupbutareneverther
    efr
    om the
    begi
    nning.Yourmot
    hersentyoutocryneedy
    huh?”
    “
    Idon’
    t-
    “
    “Youdon’
    twhat?Iknowyourt y
    pebutIam
    goingt
    omakehi m seet
    het r
    uth.Iwi
    ll
    notbe
    bli
    ndedbyyourf
    akeness,Icanseethroughi
    t.
    ”
    Abewalkedoutt
    henunl
    ockedhiscarwhi
    le
    Tseol
    ookedathiswi
    feshocked.Shel
    imped
    i
    nsi
    dethecart
    henAbeki
    ssedherandcl
    osed
    t
    hedoor.
    “
    Geti
    nTsame.
    ”
    Tseol
    ookedatAbe.“
    It
    ’sTseo.
    ”
    “
    Yah.Geti
    n,Ihav
    eal
    ott
    odo.
    ”
    Tseosi
    l
    entlygoti
    nthecarthenAbest
    art
    edt
    he
    engi
    nerev
    ersedanddroveoff.

    *
    **

    Let
    soki
    ssedBi
    naasshegoti
    nthecar
    .
    “
    Heybabe…”
    Binasmiled.“
    Hi,
    canwepassbyt
    hecl
    i
    nicso
    thatIcanseeEazi.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hedr
    ovetot
    hehospit
    alasBinarespondedt
    oa
    f
    ewbusi
    nessrel
    atedmessages,
    herhair
    busi
    nesswasgoi
    ngwel
    l
    .
    “UhhIhav
    esomethi
    ngIwantedyout
    oknow
    befor
    ewegofort
    hewedding.”
    Binaputherphonedownandl
    ookedathi
    m.
    “Whatisi
    t?”
    “
    YouknowIwasmar
    ri
    edr
    ight
    ?”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    “
    Thereissomethi
    ngIdi
    dn’
    ttel
    lyoubecauseI
    wasscaredyouwoul
    dlosei
    nter
    est.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    Hel ookedatherknowi ngt hi
    sconv ersati
    on
    couldgoei t
    herway .Itwouldei t
    herthreatento
    endt herel
    ati
    onshiporl eavetrustholesinthe
    rel
    ationshi
    p.What everitwas, hewasn’tready
    foritbutknowingshewoul dhearitfrom the
    functionpushedhim still
    .Eit
    herway ,a
    rel
    ationshi
    pbuiltonliesusuallydidn’
    tsurv i
    ve.
    Lessonal r
    eadylearnt.
    “Il
    ongsepar atedwiththi
    swomanaf terthe
    bir
    thofourlastchildandInevertouchedheror
    anythi
    ngbutwest i
    llst
    ayedtogetherforthe
    sakeoft hekids.Wesleptindif
    ferentrooms,
    somet i
    mesIev ensl
    eptatthecottage.Wewere
    i
    nf ull
    separationti
    ll
    ourdivor
    cef i
    nall
    ygot
    fi
    nali
    zed.”
    “
    Ok…Iunder
    stand.
    ”
    “Butmonthsbackbefor
    eourdi
    vorcewas
    fi
    nali
    zedIhadmovedoutbecauseIcoul
    dn’
    t
    staywit
    hheranymore.I
    twasdrai
    ningme.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “Ourdiv orcewasf i
    nal i
    zedamont hback.Ilong
    mov edoutbef oreImety ou.AndwhenImet
    youIdi dn’ttell
    youbecausey ouwouldv i
    ewme
    asamar r
    iedmanwheni twasjustatit
    le,
    nothingmor e.Iam sorryIkeptthisi
    nformation
    from youbutIpr omisey ou,
    Ihav enottouched
    thiswomani nyear
    s, shecanattesttothat.
    ”
    Bi
    nal
    ookedathi
    m speechl
    essl
    y.
    “
    Iam sor
    rybabe.
    ”
    “
    Soy
    ouwer
    emar
    ri
    edwhenwewer
    edat
    ing?
    ”
    “
    Yesbutt
    hedi
    vor
    cepr
    ocesshadst
    art
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Wow!
    ”
    “Nothi
    ngcanjusti
    fymenottell
    ingyout
    hisbutI
    didn’
    twanttoloseyoubecauseIhadalr
    eady
    fall
    enhard.Il
    oveyou,y
    ouarethefir
    stwomanI
    havelovedinyear
    s.Forgi
    vemebabe.”
    “
    Whati
    fshehadsuedme?
    ”
    “Sheknewabouty ou,ItoldherIfi
    nal
    lymetthe
    oneandbecausewewer elongsepar
    atedshe
    didn’
    tfi
    ghtme.Thel ovebet weenushadbeen
    overfort
    helongesttime.”
    “
    Youst
    il
    ll
    iedt
    ome.
    ”
    “
    AndIam sorr
    yfort hat
    .Ihavechosentot
    ell
    y
    oubecauseIdon’twantar el
    ati
    onshi
    pbuil
    ton
    l
    i
    es.Iwantsomethingrealandtr
    ue.”
    “Somethi
    ngreal
    andtruewoul
    dnothav
    e
    star
    tedwit
    hli
    estobeginwi
    th.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    rybabe.
    ”
    Hestoppedthecaratthecl
    i
    nic.Bi
    nastepped
    outandwalkedi
    nsideshaki
    ngherhead.
    *
    **

    Iswitchedonmyphoneaf terithadchar ged


    thentypedOteng’snamebackwar dunlockingit
    .
    Iquickl
    ywentt omymessagest hendel etedthe
    messagesbet weenAbeandI .Hopef ul
    l
    yOt eng
    hadn’tseenthem,Abewasst i
    llali
    v e.Thedoor
    openedt henBinawalkedi
    n.shegaspedand
    smiledhuggingme.
    “
    ThankGody
    ouar
    eawake!
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Bi
    nast
    eppedbackandl
    ookedatt
    hedr
    ip.“
    How
    ar
    eyoudoi
    ng?”
    “
    Iam f
    ine.
    ”
    “
    Otengmustbesor
    eli
    eved.
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Youshoul
    dst
    opst
    ressi
    ngt
    hatman.
    ”
    “
    Thi
    swast
    hel
    astt
    ime.
    ”
    Bi
    nal
    aughed.“
    Her
    eal
    l
    ylov
    esy
    ou.
    ”
    “SodoI
    .Il
    ovehi
    m somuch,
    Idon’
    tthi
    nkhe
    knowshowmuchIlov
    ehi
    m.”
    “Heknows,ifyoudidn’
    tthenyouwouldn’
    tbe
    heregi
    vinghim babi
    es.Youhaveamanwho
    l
    ovesyou,respectsyouandisfai
    thf
    ul,l
    oyal
    and
    honest
    .Youhav eital
    l.
    ”
    “
    Whathappened?
    ”
    “
    Let
    sowasmar
    ri
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Yout
    oldme.
    ”
    “Hi
    sdivor
    cegotf
    inal
    izedamont
    hback,
    Ihav
    e
    beendati
    ngamarri
    edmanallal
    ong.
    ”
    “
    Buthei
    sdi
    vor
    cedr
    ight
    ?Whydi
    dhedi
    vor
    ce?
    ”
    “Hesayshehadbeenonsepar at
    ionsi
    ncethe
    birt
    hofthei
    rlastbor
    njustt
    hathestay
    edfort
    he
    kids.
    ”
    “Gaseenewagopost amopagingy eleya
    facebookarekeanony mousobat athuso,he
    hasbeenonsepar ati
    onwithhiswi f
    esincethe
    birt
    hoftheirlastbabyandhest ayedforthe
    kidsbecausehewi f
    ehadf al
    l
    eni ntodepressi
    on
    andnowhei sdivorci
    ngherbuthi scurr
    ent
    girl
    fr
    iendthathewant stomar r
    ydoesn’tknow
    allt
    hat?”
    “
    Andt
    hei
    rst
    ori
    esar
    esosi
    mil
    ar.
    ”
    “HeistheoneBi na.Idon’tthi
    nkyoushould
    i
    gnorethefactt hatheliedtoyoubutIthi
    nkyou
    shoul
    dr eal
    lylookintothisandmakeawi se
    deci
    sion.Thisguyl ovesyou,t
    hatIhaveno
    doubt.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    ehi
    mtoobut
    -“
    “Butwhat?Nooneisper f
    ect
    .Don’
    tbetooj
    udgy,
    hearital
    lwhi
    lecalm andmakeadeci
    sionf
    rom
    ther
    ebutIreal
    lyl
    ikehim.”
    “
    Who?EneLet
    so?
    ”
    “Yes,hei
    sagoodmanandf oronceyouhave
    metsomeonewholovesyouforwhoy ouar
    e.
    Forthecr
    azi
    nesst
    hatrunsi
    ny ourbl
    oodvei
    ns.”
    Bi
    nal
    aughed.“
    War
    engnar
    e?”
    “Iam tel
    l
    ingyou.I
    fIwer
    eyouIwoul
    dgi
    vehi
    m
    anotherchance.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    eist
    hebaby
    ?”
    “
    Otengwentt
    ogethi
    m.”
    “
    Iam happyyouareawake.Butt
    heway
    ,wher
    e
    wer
    ey ougoi
    ng?”
    Isi
    ghed.“
    Iwasgoi
    ngt
    oseeAbe.
    ”
    “
    Forwhat
    ?”
    “
    Hemov
    edon.
    ”
    “
    So?
    ”
    “
    Iwant
    edt
    omakesur
    e.”
    “
    Makesur
    eofwhat
    ?”
    “
    Thather
    eal
    l
    ymov
    edon.
    ”
    “
    Andhowwer
    eyougoi
    ngt
    odot
    hat
    ?”
    “
    Tal
    ki
    ngt
    ohi
    m.”
    “
    What’
    swrongwithyou?Whydoyouwantto
    r
    uinagoodthi
    ngyouhavegoi
    ngon?Koor
    eyou
    j
    ustwantt
    oseethenast
    ysideoft
    hismandon’
    t
    y
    ou?”
    “
    Itwasi
    nnocent
    .”
    “Andlooktodayyoualmostdi edfort
    hat.
    I
    magi neOtengbeingstressedall
    becauseyou
    deci
    deditwassaf etodrivetoanex’shouse
    becauseyouarejealousandcan’tbeartosee
    him movi
    ngon.”
    “
    Ileantmyl
    esson.
    ”
    “
    Cany
    ouappr
    eci
    atewhaty
    ouhav
    e?”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    l.
    ”
    Binalookedatherwithadisgustedl
    ookthen
    cl
    ickedhertongue.“I
    maginedy i
    ngfort
    hesame
    manwhot ri
    edkil
    li
    ngyou,thesamemanwho
    cheatedony ouandhurtyou,thesameman
    whor eal
    lyhurty
    ourson.”
    “
    IknowandIwaswr
    ong.
    ”
    “Ihopeyouknowt hat
    .Tlhammat hi
    sonewil
    l
    kil
    lyouandwhenhehol dst hegunonmy
    foreheadIam goi
    ngtotellhimthetr
    uth.
    ”
    “
    Whataf
    ri
    end!
    ”
    “
    Don’
    tcountonmet
    oli
    efory
    ou.Ial
    sowantt
    o
    l
    i
    ve.
    ”

    *
    **
    Tinof
    ini
    shedfi
    xinghisson’sbi
    cycl
    eoutsi
    de
    thenwal
    kedinsidethehousewhereTsotl
    he
    whowasgr unt
    inginpainl
    yingonthei
    rbed.
    “
    Babe,
    weshoul
    dgot
    othehospi
    tal
    .”
    “
    Ngng…”
    “Youar
    ecr
    yingbecauseoft
    hepai
    n,pl
    easel
    et’
    s
    go.”
    “
    Iam f
    ine.
    ”
    “
    Tsot
    lhe!
    ”
    “
    Shegotof
    fthebedt
    henTi
    noswal
    lowed
    l
    ooki
    ngatt
    hehugebl
    oodst
    ainont
    hebed.
    “
    Tsot
    lhe…”
    Sheturnedt
    henl
    ookedwit
    hafr
    own.“
    Ijust
    changedmypadri
    ghtnow.”
    “Thi
    sisabnor
    mal.Weneedtogety
    ouhel
    p.I
    am taki
    ngyoutot
    hehospi
    tal
    .”
    Tear
    srandownhercheeks.“
    Tino.
    .”
    “
    Wearegoi
    ngtothehospit
    alandwearegoi
    ng
    t
    ofi
    ndoutwhat
    ’swrong.Thi
    sisnotnor
    mal.
    ”
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #131

    Tsotl
    heshookherhead.“Ithi
    nkIdrank
    somethingthati
    smakingmehav eaheavyf
    low.
    It
    ’snotnormalbutyoupromisedtofi
    xMmagwe
    O’scar.Goandhelpher,
    Iwi l
    ltakeaqui
    ck
    showerthengotothehospital
    .”
    “MmagweO’ scarcanwai t,
    Iam t aki
    ngy outo
    thehospit
    al.
    ”Heopenedt hewar drobeandt ook
    outherblackdress.Tsotl
    hel ookedathim
    seethi
    nginpain.Tinolookedatt heamountof
    bloodthathadherbluejeansal lredthentook
    hertot
    hebathr
    oom wher
    ehehel
    pedherout
    thosej
    eans.
    Heswal lowedstar
    ingather
    .“Tsot l
    heweh,
    what’sgoingonbabe?Thisist oomuchbl ood
    foryourperi
    odandy ouhaven’tbeenhaving
    yourperiodforawhil
    enow, IknowbecauseI
    usuall
    yknowwheny ourper
    iodi sgoingt
    o
    come. ”
    Shebrokedowncr
    ying.“
    Idon’
    tknow.Iam i
    n
    pai
    n.”
    “Maybey
    ouwer
    epr
    egnantandy
    ouj
    ustl
    ostt
    he
    baby
    .”
    Tsotlheshookherheadcryingevenmor e.Ti
    no
    quicklyhel
    pedhercleanupt hendr
    essedher.
    Theybot hwalkedoutthenhespedt othe
    hospitalst
    ari
    ngathergruntholdi
    ngher
    stomach.Nowhewasconv incedshewas
    pregnantandthatshehadjustlostt
    hebaby .
    Mi
    nut
    esl
    atert
    heyst
    eppedoutandwal
    ked
    i
    nsidet hehospital.Tinobrief
    lyexplainedt othe
    recepti
    onistthenanur secameandt ook
    Tsotlhe.Tinosatdownandsi ghedwor riedly
    .
    Hisphonev i
    brat
    edf r
    om hispockett henhe
    tookitoutandopenedhi swhat sappmessages.
    Heopenedt hefi
    r stmessagef r
    om anunsav ed
    numbert henlookedatt hev i
    deot hathadbeen
    senttohim.Cur i
    ousl yhet appedt hev i
    deoand
    l
    etitdownl oadbef oreplayingit
    .
    Tinowatchedthesext apethatwer eonly
    showingonlythepr i
    vatepar tswithannoy ance
    andashewasaboutt ostopt hevideot he
    cameramov edtot helady’sf ace.Hishear t
    poundedashel ookedatTsot l
    hemoani ngwhi l
    e
    squeezi
    ngherbr east,herringgl i
    tteri
    ngt othe
    camera.Thecamer awentbackt ot heirprivat
    es
    showingthathugedi ckutterlystretchingher ,
    fi
    ll
    ingherupsobad.Thet hr usti
    ngst artedgoing
    fastasthei
    rmoani nggotl ouderandl ouder
    thenthemanst i
    lledinsideherandf inall
    yslid
    outl
    eav
    ingat
    rai
    lofhi
    scum behi
    ndl
    eaki
    ng.
    Tasha’
    scal
    lst
    oppedthev
    ideoashername
    fl
    ashedont
    hescreen.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Ther
    eisvideoci
    rcul
    ati
    ngonf acebookTino,
    I
    sawitint
    heYouthOfBot swanagr oupandnow
    i
    t’sonpeople’
    sti
    meli
    ne.”
    “
    Whatv
    ideo?
    ”
    “
    Tsot
    lhe.Asexv
    ideo.
    ”
    Ti
    nohungupt
    henhiswhatsappstar
    ted
    fl
    oodi
    ngwi
    thmessages.Tendai
    call
    ed.
    “
    Tendai
    …”
    “Goanddeactiv
    ateyourfacebookaccountr
    ight
    now,Tsot
    lhe’st
    oo.Doitrightnow,Ihav
    eaguy
    whoisworkingonhavingittakendown.”
    Speeachl
    essandunabletoevenmove,Ti
    no
    hungupandwentt ofacebookwher
    ehehad
    beenmentionedsever
    alti
    mes.Hedeacti
    vat
    ed
    hisaccountt henl oggedi nhiswi fe’saccount
    thankful shehadn’ tchangedherpasswor dthen
    deactivatedheraccountt oo.Heswal loweda
    painfullumpast hepai ncloggedi tsel
    far ound
    histhroatl eav i
    ngi tdryandpai nfultoev en
    swal l
    owsal iva.Hischestt ight
    enedwi th
    physical painwhi l
    ehi senti
    rebodywentnumb.
    Hisphonest artedt oringbutthist i
    mehedi dn’
    t
    evenhav et heener gyt oanswerashi smi nd
    replayedt hatv ideof orhim.

    *
    **

    Meanwhi
    l
    eTsotl
    hel
    ookedatt
    hef
    emal
    edoct
    or
    whohadj
    ustwal
    kedi
    n.
    “
    Hi…”
    “
    Hi.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    Iam Dr
    .Par
    aj.Youar
    eTsohl
    e.”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Tsohl
    e,y
    ouknowwhat
    ’sgoi
    ngonr
    ight
    ?”
    Shenodded.
    “
    Ok.Howf
    arwer
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Thr
    eemont
    hs.
    ”
    “Youhav ehadani ncompleteabort
    ionTsohle
    andIam af r
    aidifwedon’tcompl et
    eityoumay
    hav ecompli
    cati
    onsandi nfect
    ionsthatwil
    l
    affectyourf
    erti
    l
    ityinthenearfutur
    e.”
    “
    Whatdoy
    oumean?
    ”
    “Imeanwehav etofi
    nishupwhatyoust
    art
    ed
    butthi
    stimearoundsurgi
    cal
    l
    ythenwewill
    cleanyourwomb.”
    “
    Ok,
    Idon’
    twantmyhusbandt
    oknow.
    ”
    “That’
    sstil
    lfi
    ne,wearegoi
    ngt
    otakeyouin
    surgeryandseehowwecanhelpthesit
    uati
    on
    beforeitescal
    ates.
    *
    **

    InRamot swa,Tseol edAbei nsi


    dethehospit
    al
    wherehermot herwast i
    llt
    heywer ei
    nherwar d.
    Tseo’smot hertearful
    l
    ylookedatAbeashe
    approached,hel ookedsomuchl ikehi
    sfatherit
    broughttearstoherey es.Hewasagr ownman
    now.
    Abelookedatt
    hefamil
    iarwoman,hehadseen
    hersomewherebuthi
    smi ndcoul
    dn’
    treal
    l
    y
    l
    ocateastowhere.
    “
    Hi…”
    Shesmil
    edasat earf
    ell
    .“Son…Iam gladyou
    coul
    dcome.Ihavenotbeenhavingsleepl
    ess
    ni
    ghtsf
    orsolong,Iwanttobefree.
    ”
    “Saywhat
    every
    ouwantt
    osay
    ,Ihav
    etogo
    back.
    ”
    Shel ookedathi mt hennodded.“ Iunder stand.I
    wassoy oungwhenIhady ou.Iwasj usta
    teenager,Iwasst i
    llgoi ngt oschool .Ihadnev er
    beeni nar elationshi pbef oreorev erhadsex .I
    wasj ustani nnocentchi ld.Wewer enei ghbor s
    tothisfami ly,theyonl yhadonechi ld, theirson.
    Thingswer ehar dathome, mamawor kedodd
    j
    obsandmyf at herwor kedsof araway .Itwas
    hardt omakeendsmeetsomynei ghbor ’
    swi fe
    offeredmeaj ob.Iwoul dcleanandwashf or
    them inretur nofmoney .Fort womont hs,itwas
    niceandt hatmoneyr eal l
    ydi dcomet hr oughf or
    mymot herandmyt hreesi bli
    ngsbutt hings
    startedtochangewhent hehusbandst arted
    showi nginteresti nme.It oldmymot hert his
    andshebr ushedi tof fbecauseei therway ,we
    wer edesper ate.Thi smanusedt ot ouchme
    i
    nappr opri
    at ely,hewoul dgr opemybut tocksor
    squeezemybr eastorsomet hi
    ngandIknewI
    couldn’tsayany thingbecauseoft hesi tuation
    backhome.Hi swi fewoul dpaymemynor mal
    moneyt henhewoul dgivememor e.Ti llone
    day,theywer ebot hnothomeandIhadt obaby
    sitt
    hei rson.If orgothi snamebutIwaswi th
    himt henhi sf athercamebackal lofasudden.
    Hecal ledmet ohi sbedr oom,asscar edasI
    was, Iwentandt hat ’
    swhenher apedme.It old
    mymot herthatv er ysamedaybutshedi dn’t
    beli
    ev eme.Shesai dIwi ll
    i
    nglysleptwi tht his
    mansot hatIcansnat chhimf rom hi swi fe.No
    onewasgoi ngt obel ievemesoIr anf rom
    home, foundaj obatachi ckenpoul t
    ry.Iusedt o
    takecar eofchi ckens, Ithoughtmay beIwoul d
    saveenoughf ormeandt hebabybutt heni ght
    youwer ebor n,Ihadnot hing.Icoul dn’tev en
    feedmy self
    .Youwer ejustgoingt odi eoutof
    hungersoIwentt ot hisotherf amily,Iknew
    theywer estable, Ihadmett hewi feaf ewt imes
    andt heyt oohadason.Iputy ouint hei rbi n
    knowi ngt hewi fet hrewawayt rasheach
    mor ningandwai tedcl oseby.Shesawy ouand
    tooky oui nandt hat’swhenIl ookedf oraj ob
    t
    her
    easananny.Iwatchedy
    ougrowforf
    ive
    y
    ear
    sti
    ll
    theydi
    dn’tneedmeany
    mor e.
    ”
    Tearsrandownhercheeksasshespoke.Abe
    star
    edatthepaininhereyesnofinal
    l
    y
    rememberingher.Thesweetnannyhehad
    growingup.
    “
    SoIam ar
    esul
    tofr
    ape?
    ”
    “Yesbutbabi esar ebl essi
    ngsfrom Godthat’
    s
    whyIdi dn’tabor tyou.IkeptyoubecauseI
    knewy ouwer eabl essing.Abedil
    eIwant
    nothingfrom y ou,noty ourmoneyoranything,I
    j
    ustwant edtot ell
    y outhissothatIcanf
    ree
    my selfofthissecr etknowingyoualsoknow. ”
    “
    Whowast
    hemanwhor
    apedy
    ou?
    ”
    “Maxwell
    Bogatsu.Hi
    swif
    e’snamewas
    Lel
    entl
    eBogatsu.Shewasaveryshar
    pwoman
    butwaskind.
    ”
    “
    Sodi
    dmypar
    ent
    sknowy
    ouwer
    emymot
    her
    ?”
    “No.Til
    lrecently.Idon’
    tblamet hem f
    ornot
    wanti
    ngme, Ilefty ouf
    orthem andIknowy ou
    aresti
    lli
    ngoodhandsev enasabi gman.Idon’t
    regr
    etmydeci si
    onbecausei fnotforthat
    deci
    sionAbedi ley ouwouldn’
    tbeheret oday
    .
    Youwoul dn’thav ecomesof ar.
    ”
    Abetookadeepbr eat
    hstari
    ngathi
    smot
    her
    ,
    hedefi
    nit
    elyhadherskincol
    orandt
    heey
    estoo.
    Sheheldhishandwithasmile.
    “
    Iam sohappyyoucameandItoldyout
    his.
    MayGodkeeponblessi
    ngy ouwit
    hmore.Ipr
    ay
    f
    oryourhappi
    nessandwisdom.”
    Abetear
    ful
    l
    ysqueezedherhand.“
    Iam sor
    ryf
    or
    whatyouwentt
    hrough.
    ”
    “
    Don’
    tbe,i
    fthatdi
    dn’
    thappent
    heny
    ou
    woul
    dn’
    tbehere.
    ”
    Tseowi
    pedawayhert
    ear
    s.
    “Thati
    sTsot
    lhe,
    mydaught
    er.Myonl
    y
    daught
    er.
    ”
    Abenodded.“
    Howol
    disshe?
    ”
    “
    26y
    ear
    sol
    d.”
    “
    Whatdi
    dyoust
    udy
    ?”
    Tseoclearedhert
    hroat
    .“Ist
    udi
    edEconomi
    csi
    n
    London.”
    “
    Thenyoudecidedt
    ocomebackt
    hinki
    ngy
    ou
    wi
    ll
    getajob?”
    Tseosmi l
    edsadl
    y.“
    Yesbutl
    i
    feshowedme
    other
    wise.”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lhel
    pyoul
    ook.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Abelookedathi smotheragai
    ntouchedbyt he
    factthatevenwhenrapedshedidn’taborthim.
    I
    fitwer esomeoneelsetheywouldn’thave
    thoughttwice.Hesqueezedherhandt hentook
    outhiswallet.
    “
    Ifi
    t’
    smoneyy ouaretr
    yingt
    ogiv
    eme, Idon’
    t
    wanti
    t.Idon’
    tdeser
    veit
    .Youcominghereis
    wor
    thmor
    ethanenough.
    ”
    “
    Youcangiv
    emethatmoney,
    eit
    herway
    ,you
    l
    i
    keitory
    oudon’
    t,
    Iam y
    oursi
    ster
    .”
    Abechuckl
    edt
    henhandedt
    heP200not
    eshe
    hadt
    oTseo.
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Son,
    thanky
    ouforcomi
    ng.Youcangobackt
    o
    y
    ourl
    if
    enow.”
    Henoddedt
    henwal
    kedout
    .Tseof
    oll
    owed
    behi
    ndhim.
    “
    Ist
    hatwomani
    nthecary
    ourwi
    fe?
    ”
    “
    Aboutt
    obewi
    fe.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    emar
    ryi
    ngher
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Tseonoddedqui
    etl
    y.
    “
    Youseem l
    i
    keyoucant
    alk.Youcansaywhat
    y
    ouwanttosay
    .”
    “Godgav
    emet hi
    smout
    htot
    alk.Shei
    srude
    butwhoam It
    osayt
    hat
    ?”
    “
    Youdon’
    tev
    enknowher
    .”
    “Idon’tbutshespoket omewhileyouwer
    e
    i
    nsidet hehouse.Iknowar udeper
    sonwhenI
    seeone.Thanky ouf orcomingtomeetmy
    mot her.Bye!
    ”
    “
    Wai
    t,l
    etmegi
    vey
    oual
    i
    fthome.
    ”
    “
    No,
    it’
    sok.
    ”
    “
    Tseo,
    Iwi
    l
    ldr
    opy
    ouof
    f.
    ”
    Shelookedathi
    m andsi
    ghed.Theygotbacki
    n
    thecarwhereNi
    shawaspressi
    nghisphone.
    “
    Babe,
    didy
    ouseet
    his?
    ”
    Shegavebethephonet
    henhewat
    ched
    whatev
    ervi
    deowasplayi
    ngwhi
    l
    eTseoset
    tl
    ed
    att
    hebackseat
    .
    “
    Wher
    eist
    hisv
    ideo?
    ”
    “
    Onf
    acebook.
    ”
    “
    Shi
    t!
    ”
    Hegavethephonebackthent
    ookhisand
    di
    aledanumberthenhel
    dthephoneonherear
    .
    “
    Tino,
    wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Att
    hehospi
    tal
    wai
    ti
    ngf
    ormywi
    fe.
    ”
    “Whathappened?Someonehackedy
    our
    phone?”
    “
    No,someonefuckedmywi
    feandmadesur
    e
    t
    heenti
    rewor
    ldsees.”
    “
    Don’
    tdoanythi
    ngyoumayr egr
    eti
    nthefut
    ure.
    I
    fany
    thi
    ng,gohome,Iam comingt
    here.
    ”
    “
    Ifeel
    soweak.
    ”
    “
    Iam comi
    ng.Gohome.
    ”
    Abehungupthendr ov
    eTseohomewhi l
    eshe
    gavehi
    m di
    rect
    ions.Awhilel
    aterhepar
    kedi
    n
    fr
    ontofanunfi
    nishedhouse.
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Youst
    ayher
    e?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Thehousei
    syour
    s?”
    “
    Mymot
    heri
    stheonehav
    ingi
    tbui
    l
    t.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Tseowal
    kedi
    nsi
    det
    hegat
    ewhi
    l
    eAbedr
    oveof
    f.
    “Sowhatdidtheywantf
    rom y
    ou?Fi
    nanci
    al
    assi
    stance?
    ”
    “
    No.
    ”
    “Ok,
    sobabewhat
    ’sgoi
    ngt
    ohappent
    oSummer
    andRonny
    ?”
    “
    Whatdoy
    oumean?
    ”
    “Wil
    ltheybestay
    ingwi
    thy
    ourmom whenwe
    getmar r
    ied?
    ”
    “
    Whywoul
    dtheyst
    ayt
    her
    e?”
    “
    Iam j
    ustaski
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Theywill
    bestay
    ingwi
    thme,j
    ustl
    i
    key
    ou
    f
    oundthem st
    ayi
    ngwit
    hme.”
    Ni
    shasmil
    ed.“Good.It
    houghtmay
    bey
    ou
    woul
    dsendthem away.
    ”
    “
    No,
    Tseosai
    dyouwer
    erudet
    oher
    .”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Yes,
    whatdi
    dyousayt
    oher
    ?”
    “Nothing,
    Iactuall
    ysaidIappl
    audherbraveryt
    o
    comeal lt
    hewayf r
    om wherevershewasfrom
    totalktoherolderbrot
    her,maybeIsounded
    rudeorshedidn’tli
    kethat.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lapol
    ogi
    zei
    fIwasr
    ude.
    ”
    “
    No,
    Ibel
    i
    evey
    ou.For
    geti
    t.
    ”

    *
    **
    Att
    hepr
    ivat
    ecl
    i
    nic,
    Otengl
    ookedatmeasI
    hel
    dOt
    sil
    einmyhands.
    “
    Wher
    ewer
    eyougoi
    ngwheny
    ougav
    ebi
    rt
    h?”
    “
    Huh?
    ”
    “
    Ihadcall
    edyouandyousai
    dy ouwereathome
    whenyouwerenot,
    wherewereyouandwhere
    werey
    ougoing?”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #132

    Il
    ookedathi
    m andshr
    uggedst
    rai
    ghtf
    acedand
    cal
    m.
    “Ij
    ustfel
    tli
    kedri
    vingbutAuntiewasgoingto
    ref
    usesoIsaidIam goingtoseeaf ri
    end.
    Wheny oucall
    edIhadbumpedi nt
    oanothercar
    soIwast r
    yingtogetthatundercont
    rol
    .Iam
    sorr
    y.”
    Het
    il
    tedmyheadandki
    ssedme.“
    It
    ’sok,
    Isaw
    t
    hedentont
    hecar.
    ”
    “
    Isi
    tbad?
    ”
    “
    Not
    hingmoneycan’
    tfi
    x.”
    Het ookthebabyfrom meandputhi m onthe
    cotbedhehadj ustbrought.Hesatonthebed
    thenkissedme,hekissedmehar derrunni
    ng
    hishishandunderneaththegownIwas
    wear i
    ng.Ihel
    dhishandmov i
    ngback.
    “
    Oteng…wecan’
    t…i
    t’
    stoosoon.
    ”
    “HowlongdoIhav
    etowai
    t?Thr
    eemont
    hs
    agai
    n?”
    “
    Youwai
    tedt
    hreemont
    hswi
    thAl
    ana
    “Thatwasdif
    fer
    ent.Thatpregnancywent
    smooth,Iwasnotsexuall
    ystarved.
    ”
    “
    Whatar
    eyousay
    ing?Iwassexual
    l
    yst
    arv
    ing
    y
    ou?
    ”
    Hesi
    ghedtheki
    ssedme.“Babe,
    Ihav
    en’
    thad
    pr
    opersexi
    ntwomonths.5monthsi
    salot
    .”
    “
    Soy ouar
    egoingtodowhatnowsinceIam
    i
    ncapabl
    eofhavi
    ngsexwit
    hy ouatt
    he
    moment.”
    Helookedinmyeyes.“Iam goi
    ngtowaitand
    surv
    iveonblowj
    obs,justt
    hatIwashopingyou
    wouldconsi
    dermetoo.It’
    sbeenlong,
    Imiss
    you,Imissmywif
    e.”
    Itookadeepbr eathinandheldhi
    shand.“I
    knowIwasal it
    t l
    ecrankydur
    ingthepregnancy
    butthat
    ’sbecauseIwascar r
    yingyourson.”
    “Ali
    tt
    lecr
    anky
    ?Youwereaf
    ir
    ebal
    l
    ,Iwas
    scar
    edmostofthet
    ime.
    ”
    Ismiledembarrassedthenev entual
    lyl
    aughed.
    “Iam sorr
    y,t
    hat’
    sgoi ngtochangenow.Iam
    notpregnantanymor ebabe,Icanhandleablow
    j
    ob.Thereareot herwaystopl easur
    eyou
    expectyouinmyv agi
    na.
    ”
    Hesmi
    l
    ed.“Iknow,t
    hreemonthsisnot
    hing,
    I
    wi
    ll
    wai
    t,nott
    hatIhaveachoi
    ce.”
    Ilaughed.“IloveyouandIappr eci
    ateal lyou
    hav ebeendoi ng.Iappreci
    ateyourpr esence
    throughoutt hi
    spregnancy ,
    youwer eapr esent
    factor,madesur eIdidn’tl
    ackany thing,you
    couldunder standwhenev erIwassot i
    red.I
    appr eci
    ateyoursuppor tbabe,Ireall
    ydo. ”
    Helookeddownshy lymakingmesmi l
    e.Now
    ther
    ewast hisj
    oythatcamewithwatchingt
    hat
    mansmi le,
    especi
    all
    ythatshysmi
    le,
    itwas
    enti
    cing.
    “
    Comeandl
    i
    ewi
    thme.
    ”
    Ishi
    ft
    edabi
    twi
    thmydr
    ipst
    il
    lont
    henhel
    ay
    besi
    desme.Ilaidmyheadonhischestand
    si
    ghedhopinghewouldneverknowabout
    whereexact
    lyIhadbeengoi
    ng.

    *
    **

    Tsot
    lhesl
    owl
    ywalkedoutt
    owher
    eTi
    nowas.
    Hestoodupandl
    ookedather
    .
    “
    Whatdi
    dthedoct
    orsay
    ?Iwantt
    otal
    ktohi
    m.”
    Tsot
    lheswal
    l
    owed.“
    Idi
    dloset
    hebaby
    .”
    “
    Iwantt
    otal
    ktohi
    m,ori
    sitashe?
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sashe.Dr
    .Par
    aj.Come.
    ”
    Tinofol
    l
    owedaf t
    erhertoDr.Paraj
    ’
    soffi
    cet
    hen
    theywalkedi
    n.Dr.Par
    ajlookedather
    .
    “
    Tsohl
    e…”
    “
    Doctor,t
    hisi
    smyhusband.Hewant
    stoknow
    whathappened.
    ”
    Theybothsatdown.Tsotl
    he’
    shear
    tpounded
    asthedoctorl
    ookedatthem.
    “UhhIalreadyexpl
    ainedtoTsohl
    ewhat
    happened, t
    helossofababyresul
    tsi
    nlotof
    bloodlossthat
    ’sshebledalotbutwemanaged
    tocleanherwombandshei sfi
    nenow.”
    “
    Whatmayhav
    ecausedi
    t?”
    “Alotofthi
    ngs,butwhatmat t
    ersi
    sthatshei
    s
    fi
    ne.Therewon’ tbeanyinfect
    iont
    hatmay
    affectherf
    erti
    li
    tyint
    hef utur
    e.Sheshoul
    drest
    foradayort wo, t
    ryt
    or el
    axherbody,she
    shoudn’toverworkhersel
    f.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    ewel
    come.
    ”
    Theybot
    hwalkedouttot
    hecarthenTsot
    lhe
    l
    ookedatTi
    noreal
    izi
    ngsomethi
    ngwaswr ong.
    “
    Arey
    ouokbabe?
    ”
    “
    Whywon’
    tIbeok?
    ”
    Sheshookherheadandt ookoutherphone
    fr
    om herpocket.Shehadt onsandtonsof
    messagesandf acebookment i
    ons.Sheopened
    hermessagest henreadthefi
    rstonefrom her
    workmat e.Herheartski
    ppedasshet appedthe
    l
    inkthathadcomewi t
    hmessagel eadi
    ngher
    str
    aightt
    oaf acebookv i
    deo.
    “
    No…”
    Thev i
    deocl ear l
    yshowedherf aceandher
    enti
    rebody .Shest oppedt hev i
    deothenlooked
    atTinowhi l
    ehesi l
    entl
    ydr ove.Tearsfi
    ll
    edher
    eyesassheshookknowi ngi twasOt engwho
    hadpost edit.At earr
    andownhercheekt hen
    another.Minut eslat
    erTinopar kedthecarand
    walkedinsidet hehousel eavingherinthecar.
    Shequicklydi aledOwen.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Howcoul
    dyoudot
    hist
    ome?
    ”
    “
    Iwantseey
    oui
    nmyof
    fi
    ceMondaymor
    ning,
    wear egoi
    ngtoaddr
    essthi
    sassoonasyouget
    here.Wecan’
    thavesuchpubl
    i
    cit
    ysur
    roundi
    ng
    thecompany.
    ”
    “
    Whatarey
    out
    alki
    ngabout
    ?Youpost
    edt
    hat
    v
    ideo.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lseey
    oui
    nmyof
    fi
    ceMr
    s.Taf
    ir
    a.”
    Hehungup.Tsotlhelookedatherphonethen
    steppedoutandwalkedinsi
    dethehouse.Tino
    gulpeddownhisbeerstari
    ngather.
    “
    Whoi
    sthati
    nthev
    ideo?
    ”
    “
    Icanexpl
    ain…”
    “
    Isai
    dwhoi
    sthati
    nthev
    ideo?
    ”
    “
    Someguy
    .”
    Heputhi
    sbeerdownchuckl
    i
    ng.“
    Iam not
    scar
    edofgoi
    ngtojai
    l
    .”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry,
    itmeantnot
    hingbabe.
    ”
    “
    Itmusthav
    emeantsomet
    hingf
    ory
    out
    oal
    l
    ow
    hi
    mtot
    akeav
    ideo.
    ”
    Tear
    srandownhercheeks.“
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    Tinowal
    kedoverwhileshest
    eppedbackt
    hen
    pull
    edherbyherhai
    r.“Who’
    sthat
    ?”
    “
    Some-
    “
    Hegaveheral
    i
    ghtingsl
    apt
    hatbl
    ockedher
    hear
    ingf
    orawhil
    e.
    “Iam goingtoaskagai
    nandkeeplyi
    ngt
    ome…
    keepthinki
    ngIam afool
    .Whoisthat
    ?”
    “
    TinoI
    -“
    Heslappedheragai
    n,t
    hist
    imehardert
    hatshe
    l
    ostbalancebuthepul
    l
    edherbackup.
    “
    Weareget
    ti
    ngwar
    medup.Let
    ’st
    ryagai
    n,who
    i
    sthat
    ?”
    Shel
    ookedathi
    m andbr
    okedowncr
    ying.
    “
    Youar
    emaki
    ngnoi
    se,
    Isl
    apy
    ou.Whoi
    sthat
    ?”
    Hesl
    appedherbutshequi
    ckl
    ybl
    ockedwi
    thher
    hands.“
    Youar
    ehur
    ti
    ngme.
    ”
    “
    Whoi
    sthati
    nthev
    ideo?
    ”
    “Youdon’
    tknowhi
    m,whatdoy
    ouwantmet
    o
    say?”
    “
    DidIaski
    fIknewhi
    m?What
    ’shi
    sname?
    ”
    “AmanImetonet
    imeatwor
    k.I
    twasonl
    y
    once.
    ”
    “
    Andy
    oul
    ethi
    mtakeav
    ideo?
    ”
    “
    Hesai
    dhedel
    etedi
    t.
    ”
    Tinost
    eppedbackwi
    thhi
    shandsonhi
    sface.
    “Why?”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “Whatam Inotgiv
    ingyou?Orbei
    ngaloose
    pant
    yissomet hi
    ngthatrunsi
    nyourf
    amil
    y?”
    Tsot
    lhel
    ookedathi
    m bl
    i
    nki
    ngawayhert
    ear
    s.
    “Whatar
    eyoutr
    yingt
    osay?
    ”
    “
    Exav
    tlywhatIsai
    d.”
    “
    Arey
    oucal
    l
    ingmymot
    heral
    oosepant
    y?”
    “
    Youar
    etheonewhosai
    dthat
    .”
    Atearrandownhercheekbutshewipeditof
    f.
    “
    What evert
    hatmakesyoufeelbet
    ter
    ,cal
    lmeor
    myfami l
    ynames.I
    t’
    ssti
    llf
    ine.
    ”
    “
    Ican’
    tbel
    i
    eveIev
    enmar
    ri
    edy
    out
    obegi
    n
    wi
    th.
    ”
    “
    Divorcemet henTi
    no.Iam notgoi
    ngtostop
    you.Ify
    ouwantadivcorce.Fi
    ne!Iwi
    ll
    giveitt
    o
    you.may bet
    henextwomany oumeety ou
    won’tbesotiedup.
    ”
    “
    Soy
    oucheatbecauseIam t
    iedup?
    ”
    “Iam donewi
    ththi
    sconver
    sati
    onbecausey
    ou
    areputti
    ngmyfamil
    yint
    oit
    .”
    “Youdoknowwearemarri
    edoutofcommunity
    ofproper
    tyr
    ight
    ?Youar
    ewalki
    ngwithnot
    hing.
    ”
    Shel
    ookedathi
    m.“
    Wear
    ewhat
    ?”
    “
    Yes,
    wear
    e.”
    Tsotl
    heslowlynodded.“
    Wow!Soaft
    er
    every
    thi
    ngy ouexpectmetowal
    koutwi
    th
    nothi
    ng?”
    “Andmysoni sstayi
    ng.Youar esococky ,y
    ou
    areunapol ogeti
    cbecausey ouar esmart.Iam
    divorcingyouandy ouar ewal kingawaywi t
    h
    nothing.Let’
    sseei fyourcompanyi ssti
    l
    l going
    tokeepy ouevenaf t
    erthisdrama.Iwon’ teven
    wast emyt imefighti
    ngf oryoubecausey ou
    hav ealwaysbeeni mmat ure,Iwi l
    lfi
    ndsomeone
    mat ure.”
    Tsot
    lhel
    ookedathi
    m andnodded.“
    Ok.
    ”
    “Andyeah,onemor ething,Iwanty ououtofmy
    housebeforetheendoft oday .Makesurey ou
    havetakenall
    y ourbel
    ongingsandy ouhaveleft
    myhouse.Iam goi ngtocollectmyson, Ibett
    er
    fi
    ndyougoneorIam goi ngtokilly
    ou.”
    Hepickedhi
    scarkeysandwalkedout.Tsot
    lhe
    l
    aughedstar
    ingatal
    lthef
    urni
    tureshehad
    chosen,ev
    ery
    thi
    nginthehousewasherbut
    todayshewaswalki
    ngawaywi t
    hnothi
    ng.A
    tearr
    andownhercheekthenherphonerang.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Whatam Ihear
    ingTsot
    lhe?
    ”
    “
    Mama,
    leav
    esoci
    almedi
    athi
    ngsal
    one.
    ”
    “
    Whowast
    hatman?
    ”
    “
    Myhusband!
    ”
    “
    Alotofpeopl
    e-“
    “Hav
    eseenit,
    Iknow.Iam sor
    ry.Iwil
    lnotshow
    myfacef
    oral i
    ttl
    ewhi
    lesothatyourreput
    ati
    on
    canbepr
    otected.”
    “
    Iam sur
    eTi
    noi
    ssor
    ti
    ngi
    tout
    .”
    Tsot
    lhet
    earful
    l
    ynodded.“Yes,
    mamaIam a
    l
    it
    tl
    ebusy,Iwil
    lcal
    lyou.
    ”
    Shehungupandcheckedherbankbal
    ance
    thenwentt
    othei
    rbedr
    oom andstar
    tedpacki
    ng.
    *
    **

    Nishacookedinthekit
    chenlist
    eni
    ngt omusic
    thenAbedrovein.Shepeakedonthewi ndow
    andlookedathim st
    eppingoutwit
    ht hekids.
    Shetookadeepbr eat
    hast heywalkedinthe
    house.Theki
    dshuggedher .
    “
    Heyguy
    s…wel
    comeback.
    ”
    “
    Iwantt
    owat
    chcar
    toons.
    ”
    “
    Yeah,
    it’
    sfi
    ne.
    ”
    Theyrantothesi
    tt
    ingr
    oom whi
    l
    eAbewal
    kedi
    n.
    Hekissedher.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Hey
    ,Idi
    dn’
    tknowt
    heywer
    ecomi
    ng.
    ”
    “Yeah,
    mamai sgoi
    ngt
    othewi
    l
    dwi
    thpapasoI
    hadtotaket
    hem.”
    “
    Ok.Iwi
    l
    lcookmor
    e.”
    “
    Iam sor
    ryIshoul
    dhav
    etol
    dyou.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok.
    ”
    “
    Iam goi
    ngt
    oseeTi
    no.
    ”
    “
    Didsomeonehackt
    hei
    rphones?
    ”
    “
    No,
    it’
    snotTi
    no.
    ”
    “
    Shei
    scheat
    ing?Why
    ?”
    “Thatwomani
    sfor
    war
    d.I
    twasboundt
    o
    happen.
    ”
    “
    Wow!
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lseey
    oul
    ater
    .”
    Hekissedheronelastt
    imeandwalkedout.She
    r
    eachedforherphoneanddial
    edhersist
    er.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Mma, whathappenswhenhewant
    stobr
    ing
    hiski
    dsinourmar r
    iage?
    ”
    “
    Aret
    hebabymama’
    sther
    e?”
    “
    Oneist
    her
    ebutforSummerappar
    ent
    lyhi
    s
    mot
    herl
    ongranof
    f.”
    “Thent heonewho’ smotheristhereshould
    staywi thhermother.I
    fanythi
    nghappenst o
    thoseki dsyouwill
    blamed.Nnat hat’
    swhyy ou
    seet hatIdon’
    twantamanwi thkidsbecause
    chil
    dr enwil
    lalwaysbeapr obl
    em.Iwi llr
    ather
    gof oramanwi t
    hnochi l
    dbecausedi kgangt sa
    dibabymamadi al
    apisa.
    ”
    “
    Ort
    heyshoul
    dst
    aywi
    thhi
    smot
    her
    .”
    “Yes.Don’tt
    ell
    himthisbecausehewi l
    lthi
    nk
    youdon’twanttostaywithhi
    ski ds,
    y ou
    approachitcar
    eful
    l
    ybecausest epchi l
    drenba
    bodipa,t
    heyknowy ouarenottheirreal
    mot her
    .”
    “
    NnammaIam notr
    eadyf
    ort
    hat
    .”
    “
    Appr
    ocaht
    hei
    ssuecar
    eful
    l
    y.”
    “
    Yeah,
    thanks.
    ”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Shehungupt hensomethingfel
    lfrom the
    sit
    ti
    ngroom withaloudbang.Nishaqui ckl
    y
    walkedtot
    hesi t
    ti
    ngroom andfoundt heTvon
    thefl
    oowfacedown.
    “
    Whathappened?
    ”
    Ronnyl
    ookedathi
    ssi
    sterl
    aughi
    ng.“
    Itwas
    Summer.”
    Summersmi
    l
    ed.“
    Itwasy
    ou,
    stopl
    yi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Daddywi
    l
    lbuyanot
    herone.
    ”
    Nisha’
    sey esshr
    unkwit
    hangerashestar
    edat
    theTVt hathadfal
    l
    enonthegl
    asstabl
    e
    breaki
    ngi tt
    oo.
    “Soyouthi
    nkt
    hisi
    sfunny
    ?Youj
    ustbr
    oket
    he
    Tv!Youknowwhat
    …”
    Shewalkedt
    ot heki
    tchen,
    tookt
    hewooden
    spoonandwalkedbacktothesi
    tt
    ingr
    oowher
    e
    shegrabbedSummer
    ’shand.“
    Yout
    hinkt
    hisi
    s
    funny
    ?”
    “
    Mydaddyi
    sgoi
    ngt
    ogetanot
    herone.
    ”
    Nishastar
    tedwhippi
    ngherwhi
    l
    eshescreamed
    cryi
    ng.Shewhippedherev
    enhardert
    hen
    pushedher.
    “
    Ket
    lagobet
    sa!Sut
    hadi
    otseo!
    ”
    Summerwipedawayhert
    ear
    sst
    il
    lcr
    ying.Ni
    sha
    wal
    kedover.
    “
    Youar emakingnoise,Iwi
    llbeatsohardy ou
    wil
    lkeepquietandtel
    lyourdadt henIwil
    lkil
    l
    you.Youarenotgoingtobehav eli
    kespoil
    t
    monkeyshere.Thatbehavi
    orisov eranddone
    f
    or!Am Icl
    ear?”
    Summernoddedt
    ryi
    ngt
    ohol
    dhercr
    ies.
    “
    Cleany
    ourmess.Weart
    hosegl
    ovesandcl
    ean
    y
    ourmess.Youf
    oundthi
    shousecl
    ean.
    ”
    .
    .
    Lastni
    ght
    'si
    nser
    t
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #133

    Abe’sphonerang,
    withhi
    sey
    esontheroadhe
    reachedfori
    tandanswer
    eddri
    vi
    ngwit
    hone
    hand.
    “
    Tendai
    …”
    “
    Bringthet
    oolbox
    ,Ihav
    eaf
    latt
    ir
    eandIt
    hinkI
    l
    eftmineathome.
    ”
    “
    Tinohas.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sathi
    shouse,
    comewi
    thy
    our
    s.”
    “
    Shar
    p.”
    “Kekopaosekawat
    lakwanokabohema,
    kea
    goit
    se.”
    Abechuckl
    ed.“
    Hankanke.
    ”
    “
    Shar
    pMi
    ster
    !”
    Abehungupandt ookau-turngoingbackhome.
    Hedr ov
    ei ntheyardandwalkedinsidet
    he
    house.Hisey esf
    ellonSummersweepi ng
    brokenglasseswithRonal
    dhelpingher.
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    Summert
    urnedt
    ohi
    mthenl
    ookedathi
    m,l
    i
    ps
    tr
    embl
    i
    ng.
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngonbaby
    ?”
    Ni
    shawal
    kedoutf
    rom t
    heki
    tchen.“
    Shebr
    oke
    t
    heTV.
    ”
    Abel
    ookedather
    .“So?Whati
    sshedoi
    ng?
    Whatar
    emykidsdoing?
    ”
    “
    Iam t
    eachi
    nghert
    obeal
    i
    ttl
    eresponsi
    ble.
    ”
    “Bymakinghercleanbr
    okenpi
    ecesofgl
    asses?
    Forfuckssake,
    shecangetcut
    !Didyout
    hinkof
    that
    ?”
    “
    Idi
    dandshei
    swear
    ingt
    hegl
    oves-
    “
    “Youdon’
    tmakemychil
    drencl
    eanupglasses,
    i
    fitwastoohar
    dfory
    outocleani
    tthenyou
    shoul
    dhavetol
    dme.”
    “
    Abe-
    “
    “
    Putt
    hatdownsweet
    y.Puti
    tdown,
    myboy
    .”
    Summersl owl yputevery
    thi
    ngdown, Abe
    fr
    ownedst aringattheredmarksalloverhi
    s
    daughter
    ’slegs.Het ookadeepbreaththensat
    downopeni nghisarmst ohiski
    ds.Theywalked
    overandhuggedhi m.Summerbr okedown
    cryi
    ngheav i
    lyonhischest.
    “
    Iam her
    esweet
    y,Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Shebeatme.
    ”
    “
    Itwi
    l
    lnev
    erhappenagai
    n,Ipr
    omi
    se.
    ”
    “
    Ronnyhasacut
    .”
    Ronnytookof
    fhisshoeexposi
    nghi
    ssoaked
    wit
    hbloodsock.Abesl
    owlytookof
    fthesoak
    andlookedatt
    hebigcutonhi
    ssoret
    hen
    l
    ookedatNisha.Hest
    oodupwithRonal
    dinhi
    s
    arms.
    “
    Wear egoi
    ngtothehospi
    tal
    andwear
    ehav
    ing
    t
    hatsort
    edout
    .”
    Hetookhi
    ski
    dst
    othecarandwal
    kedbackt
    o
    hi
    shouse.
    “Iwasn’ttr
    yingtohur tthem,Iwasjustteaching
    them tober esponsiblefort
    heiracti
    onsAbe.
    Summerbr oket heTvanddef endedherself
    sayingdaddywoul dbuyanewone.Shei slight
    skinnedthat’swhyshehadmar ksal
    lover,had
    i
    tbeenRonal ditwouldn’tbeli
    kethat.
    “
    “LookAni sha,thosekidsaremyl i
    fe.Il
    ovethem
    witheverythingIhav eandIneverbeatthem,
    notbecauseIdon’ twanttodisci
    pli
    nethem but
    becauseIdon’ tbelievei
    nthatwayof
    disci
    pli
    ningchi l
    dren.Ihaverai
    sedmychi ldr
    en
    alone,It
    ooksummersi nceshewasj ust
    mont hsold.It
    ookRonal
    dsi ncehewasj usta
    babyandt heyhavemeonly.Theyar emy
    pri
    ori
    t y
    ,Iwoulddoanyt
    hingf orthem.Iam not
    goingtowast emyti
    mear guingwi t
    hy ou
    becauseIam goingtogetreallyupsetandslap
    you.CanIf i
    ndyououtofmyhouse, thanks.”
    Heturnedandwalkedout .I
    nhiscar,helooked
    athi
    skidsandsighedsadl y
    .Hestart
    edt hecar
    anddrovetothehospit
    al.Atthehospit
    al hegot
    i
    nthedoctor’
    soffi
    cewi t
    hbot hhi
    skids.The
    doct
    orlookedathim andsmi l
    ed.
    “
    Higuy
    s!”
    “
    Hi,Ibr
    oughtmyson,
    hehasacutandIal
    so
    wantsomethi
    ngf
    romydaught
    er.
    ”
    Thedoct
    orl
    ookedatt
    hem.“
    Whathappened?
    ”
    “
    Iguessy
    oumaysayIal
    l
    owedav
    ici
    oussnake
    i
    nmyhouse.
    ”
    “Well
    Ihopey oudot
    heri
    ghtt
    hingforthem.Hi
    guys,Iam Dr
    .B.Baf
    ana,
    youcancallmeDr.
    Bar
    ati
    .Whatar
    eyournames?
    ”
    “Mynamei
    sSummer
    ,thi
    sismybr
    other
    ,
    Ronny
    .”
    “Wow,Summer,whataname!”Bar
    ati
    lookedat
    Abeandsmil
    ed.“Youcanputhi
    m onthebed.
    ”
    Abepickedhissonandplacedhim ont
    hetabl
    e
    thenBarat
    iputonherglovesandherequi
    pment.
    Shesmiledstar
    ingatRonny.
    “Ineedy
    outorel
    ax,
    wewillbedonei
    nnot
    ime.
    Youareast
    rongguyri
    ght
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Awesome!Letmecl
    eani
    tupandseewhatwe
    have.
    ”
    SummerstoodbyRonny ’
    ssideashegot
    cl
    eanedup.Abetookadeepbr eat
    hwhi l
    eRonny
    fl
    i
    nchedinpai
    nwonder i
    ngjustwherehewas
    goingwr
    ong.InminutesBarat
    ibandagedthe
    woundasRonnywi pedawayistears.
    “Youwer eagr eatstr
    ongboyt odayandIl oved
    i
    t.Youar egoingt obefinebutdon’toverwork
    yoursel
    ftoomuch.Now, yourtur
    nSummer .”
    ShehelpedSummerot hebedaf terchanging
    glov
    est henlookedatt hemar kssadly.
    “Ilov
    ey ourhai
    r,i
    t’
    ssooocur
    ly.Whodoesi
    tso
    nice?”
    “
    Itwasgr
    anny
    .”
    “
    MmhhhIl ov
    ey ourgr
    anny
    .”ShelookedatAbe.
    “
    Iam goi
    ngtorecommendacr eam forher
    .”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “Shewil
    lbefi
    ne,t
    heywil
    lbefi
    ne.
    ”Shereached
    forafi
    leandwrot
    esomethi
    ng.“I
    t’
    sareport
    ,I
    am fol
    l
    owingprot
    ocol
    .”
    “
    Iunder
    stand.
    ”
    “I
    ncasey ouwantt
    oopenacasewhi chis
    somethingyouhavetodo.Theirsafetyi
    sin
    yourhands.Youseem l
    i
    keagr eatfatherand
    thatissomethingsoadmir
    abl
    e.Pl
    ease…pl
    ease
    dot heri
    ghtf
    ulthi
    ng.Letmegi
    veyouthe
    prescri
    pti
    on.”
    Shequickl
    ywr ot
    esomet
    hingandgav
    eitt
    ohi
    m.
    “Ther
    e,getthat.
    ”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    Bar
    atil
    ookedattheki
    ds.“
    Justdoi
    ngmyj
    ob.
    Goodni
    ghtguys!
    ”
    “
    Goodni
    ghtDr
    .Bar
    ati
    .”
    Abetookhi
    ski
    dsandwal
    kedoutanswer
    inghi
    s
    phone.
    “Ican’
    tcomeTendai,
    somet hi
    nghappenedandI
    havetostaywi
    ththekids.
    ”
    “
    IthoughtNi
    shawast
    her
    e.”
    “
    Shewasbutshel
    eft
    .”
    “
    Whathappened?Eazi
    ?”
    “
    No,
    sheabusedmyki
    ds,
    Iam f
    rom t
    hehospi
    tal
    wi
    tht
    hem.
    ”
    “
    Shewhat
    ?”
    “Shebeatthekids,andmadethem clean
    brokenglasses,Ronnyhasacut!Summerhas
    mar ksal
    loverherbody.”
    “
    Wow!
    ”
    “Sheisconniv
    inganddoesn’tl
    ovemykids.My
    kidsareahugepartofmylif
    eandifyoudon’t
    l
    ov ethem t
    hentherel
    ati
    onshipi
    sdoomed.”
    “
    Youarer
    ightaboutt
    hat
    .Makeherunder
    stand
    t
    hat
    .”
    “Sheshoul
    dknow!Itoldhersot
    hefir
    stt
    ime
    andshehasbeenpretendi
    ngtolov
    emyki ds.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    oubr
    eaki
    ngupwi
    thher
    ?”
    “
    Idon’
    twantsuchawomanar
    oundki
    ds.
    ”
    “
    Thi
    scanbedi
    scussedAbe.
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    tknowbutnotnow.Ri
    ghtnowIwanther
    f
    arf
    rom myki
    ds.
    ”

    *
    **

    Nishasatont hecouchsni f
    fingwonder ingwhat
    hadreall
    ygot t
    eni ntoher.Shecoul dhav ejust
    spokentoSummerandr epri
    mandedheri na
    ni
    cewayl ikealway s.Shewasanobedi entchi
    ld
    andalwayslistened.Tear sfi
    lledhereyest hen
    sheputherhandsov erherfacecr yi
    ng.Acar
    drovein,
    shewi pedawayhert earsstanding.
    Secondslater,Abewal kedinsi dethehouse
    withthekidsthenpausedst aringather.
    “
    Didn’
    tIt
    ell
    yout
    oleav
    e?”
    “Iam sorr
    ySummer .Iam sorr
    yIbeaty ou.I
    t
    waswr ongandIshoul dhav enev erdonethat.I
    am sorryforev
    erythingIsaid,Ididn’
    tmeani t.I
    am sorryRonny,babeIam sor ry.Ipromise,i
    t’s
    nevergoingtohappenagai n.”
    “
    Guy
    s,got
    oyourr
    ooms.
    ”
    Abewat chedhi
    ski
    dswal
    kawayandgl
    aredat
    Nisha.
    “
    Didn’
    tIsayy
    oushoul
    dleav
    e?”
    “
    You-
    “
    Abeslappedheracr
    ossherface,shest
    agger
    ed
    backwithherhandonhercheek.“Obat
    lago
    ntl
    waelaNisha,
    youputyourhandsonmy
    ki
    ds?”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Tlakwano.
    ”
    Shelookedathi
    m shaki
    ngt
    henshookherhead.
    “Youwanttobeatme”
    “Karetl
    akwano.IfIcomet
    her
    e,Iam goi
    ngt
    o
    slapyouagai
    n.”
    Sl
    owl
    y,Ni
    shawal
    kedov
    ert
    ohi
    m.“
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Howdar
    eyouputy
    ourhandsonmy
    daught
    er?
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “Iwi
    llki
    l
    lformyki
    ds.Gety
    ourt
    hingsandget
    outofmyhouse.”
    Shequicklywentt
    othebedroom whereshe
    grabbedherhandbagandrushedout.Abesat
    downt hentookhi
    sri
    ngingphone.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “Hi
    ,thi
    sisTseo.IspoketomamaandIam
    sor
    ryforwhatIsaidabouty
    ourgi
    rl
    fr
    iend.
    ”
    “I
    t’
    sok.Iam sor
    ryaboutwhat
    evershemay
    havesai
    d.”
    “
    Shar
    p.”
    Tseohungupt henAbel eanedbackclosinghis
    eyes.Hethoughtf
    ull
    yt houghtofhismother
    thi
    nkingofhi
    srealfather’
    ssur namewhil
    eit
    cli
    ckedtohim.Itwast hesamesur nameEaz i
    ’
    s
    thughusbandhad.Hequi ckl
    ytypedhi
    sfather
    ’s
    namei ncludingt hesurnamet hent hename
    cameup.Hecl i
    ckedont heaccountt hatdidn’
    t
    seem get ti
    ngusedt hatmuch.Heswal lowed
    l
    ooki ngatapi ctureoft hemanwi t
    hhi swifeand
    twoki ds, onebei ngEazi ’
    shusbandandt he
    othersomegi rl
    .Het appedt hecomment
    sectionandt appedPenel opeBogat su.Hewent
    strai
    ghtt oheraccountwher et herewer eal ot
    ofpict uresofher ,somewi thEazi andmost
    witht heki ds.Hecameacr ossonewher eher
    fatherwaswi t
    hher .Sweatdr opl et
    sf ormedon
    hisfor eheadashescr oll
    edthrough.Heputhi s
    phonedownandwentt otheki tchenwher ehe
    gothi sbeerandgul pedi talldown.
    Hewentbackt
    ohi
    sphoneanddi
    aledTendai
    .
    “
    Mist
    er!
    ”
    “
    Imetmyr
    eal
    mot
    hert
    oday
    .”
    “
    Youwhat
    ?”
    “
    Imetmyr
    eal
    mot
    her
    .”
    “
    Theyt
    oldy
    ou?
    ”
    “
    Iknew.Iknowy
    ouknowt
    oo.
    ”
    “
    Itdoesn’
    tchangeany
    thi
    ng.
    ”
    “Iknow, Imetherandshetol
    dmemyr eal
    father’
    sname.Themanr apedher,shewasjust
    achi l
    dandnoonebel i
    evedher.Eazi
    ’st
    hug
    husbandi shi
    sson.”
    “
    Fuck!
    ”
    “
    Iam r
    elat
    edt
    ohi
    m.Iwantt
    otal
    ktohi
    m.”
    “
    Towho?Hi
    sfat
    herorhi
    m?”
    “
    Tohi
    m.Iwantnot
    hingt
    odowi
    tht
    her
    api
    st.
    ”
    “
    Yout
    hinki
    t’
    sagoodi
    dea?
    ”
    “
    Iam notscar
    edofhi
    m andIam notgoi
    ng
    t
    her
    et ofi
    ght.
    ”
    “
    Icangowi
    thy
    ou.
    ”
    “No,hewi
    l
    lthinkIam soscar
    edofhimthatI
    bri
    ngmybrotheri
    ntoit.Hei
    sful
    lofhi
    mself,
    I
    wi
    l
    lfacehi
    m al
    one.
    ”
    “
    Okay
    .”
    Abedr
    oppedt
    hecal
    lthencal
    l
    edEazi
    .
    “
    Hey
    …”
    Hesmil
    edhear
    ingherv
    oice.“
    Iam st
    il
    lwai
    ti
    ng
    f
    oryou.
    ”
    Shelaughed.“
    Iam notcomi
    nganymore,I
    bel
    ieveyou.Ij
    usthopeshecant
    akecareoft
    he
    ki
    dsandy ou.”
    “
    Idon’tt
    hinkshei
    stheone.Shedoesn’
    tlov
    e
    mykids.
    ”
    “Iam sorr
    ybutsheisj
    usttooyoungAbe.Iam
    notsayingbreakupwit
    hherbutsheisyoung.
    Howol disshe?22?23?”
    “
    24.
    ”
    “
    See.Thenlookatyourage.Youar
    etoomuch
    t
    ohandleforher
    .But-“
    “Butnot
    hing,
    youar
    eri
    ght
    .Idon’
    tknow,
    Iam
    gett
    ingt
    ooold.”
    “
    Nott
    hatmuch,
    youl
    ookbet
    ter
    .”
    “Iwi
    shthi
    ngswerediff
    erent
    .Ireall
    ygotint
    o
    thi
    sonewithadi
    ffer
    entatti
    tude.Ididn’
    t
    comparehert
    oyou.Iwasgenui ne.”
    “Maybey oudon’tnecessar
    il
    yhavetobr
    eakup
    wit
    hher ,
    y oucanteachherandshowherwhat
    youwant.Att heend,shedoesn’
    thaveachi
    l
    d
    soobviouslyshedoesn’tknow-“
    “No.Iam donewi
    thher.Mychil
    dren’ssafet
    y
    comesfir
    st.What
    ’syourfat
    heri
    nl aw’sname?”
    “
    Maxwel
    Bogat
    su,
    why
    ?”
    “
    CanIhav
    eyourt
    hughusband’
    snumber
    ?”
    “
    Todowhat
    ?Abehe-
    “
    “
    Iwanttot
    alkt
    ohi
    m aboutsomet
    hing
    i
    mport
    ant.
    ”
    “
    Abe,
    Idon’
    t-
    “
    “
    Iknowy oulovehim babe,
    Iam notoutt
    orui
    n
    yourmarri
    age,yourhappi
    nesscomesfir
    stt
    o
    me.Ipromise.
    ”
    “Whatdoy
    ouwantt otal
    ktohim about
    ?You
    knowhedoesn’
    tli
    keyouright
    ?”
    “IknowandIdon’
    tli
    kehi
    mtoo,
    sendhi
    s
    number,Iwi
    l
    lbewaiti
    ng.
    ”

    *
    **

    Tsotl
    helookedaroundtheroom att
    helodge
    shehadjustcheckedin.I
    twasn’
    tbadandi t
    wasaffordabl
    e.Shesatdownreachingforher
    phonethendial
    edTino.
    “
    Whatdoy
    ouwant
    ?”
    Tearsfi
    ll
    edhereyest
    henatearrandownher
    cheek.“
    Iam sor
    ryIhumi
    li
    atedyouli
    kethi
    s.I
    am sorr
    yIhavehurty
    ouli
    kethi
    s,Idon’
    teven
    haveapr operr
    easonf orcheati
    ngbecausey ou
    areeverythi
    ngIneedi naman.Imadea
    mistakebabeandIwantt ofixthi
    ngs.Please
    givemeachance, Ihav ehurtyou,l
    etmef ixthi
    s.
    Idon’twantadivorce,Iknowwhatdi vor
    cedoes
    tothekidsandIdon’ twantthatforourchil
    d.I
    am sorry.
    ”
    “
    Tsot
    lhe-
    “
    “Iam sorr
    y…pl
    easefor
    giv
    eme.Iwi ll
    do
    anythi
    ngtofi
    xthi
    s,Ipr
    omise.Justgi
    vemea
    chance.”
    “
    Youbr
    okemyhear
    t,whatwasIl
    acki
    ng?
    ”
    “Nothi
    ng.Iam sorrybutIam notgoi
    ng
    anywhere.Iam yourwifeandIloveyouandI
    am notgoingtoleaveyouorallowyoutoleav
    e
    me.Iforgaveyouwheny ouhurtmewithyour
    sist
    eri
    n-law.”
    “
    Wast
    hisr
    evenget
    hen?
    ”
    “
    No.I
    twasnot
    .Ij
    ustmessedupandi
    t
    happenedonl
    yonce.Iam sor
    ry.Pl
    easel
    et’sfi
    x
    thi
    ngs.Youcan’
    tjustgi
    veuponusliket
    his.”
    “
    Idon’
    tknowi
    fIcanev
    erf
    orgi
    vey
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Howwil
    lyouknowi
    fyoudon’
    ttr
    y?Don’
    tyou
    l
    oveme?
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    hat
    ’swhyIam hur
    t.
    ”
    “
    Letmef
    ixt
    his.
    ”
    “
    Ineedsomet
    ime.
    ”
    “
    That
    ’sok.Iunder
    stand.Il
    ovey
    ou.
    ”
    Hehungupthenshetookadeepbreat
    hin,
    she
    wasn’
    tgoi
    ngtoloseherf
    amily
    .Shewasgoing
    t
    ofightwi
    thever
    ythi
    ngshehad.

    *
    **

    Tendai
    lookedatTi
    noandshookhi
    shead.
    “
    Youar
    ejustf
    orgi
    vi
    ngherl
    i
    ket
    hat
    ?”
    “NobutIwantt owor koni t.Ilov
    eTsot l
    heand
    may bet hereasonshecheat edisbecauseshe
    neverenj oy
    edhery outh.Igotherpr egnant,
    marriedherandnowwehav eachild.She
    doesn’tgett oenjoyhery outhbecausewehav e
    achildandshehast ot hinklikeamot her
    ,she
    hast oleaveupt ocertainexpect at
    ions.WhenI
    washerage, Ididalot.”
    “
    Sowhat
    ’st
    hepl
    annow?
    ”
    “
    Iam goi
    ngtot
    ryt
    obeflexi
    ble,
    letherenj
    oyher
    y
    outhandourmar
    ri
    ageatthesamet i
    me.”
    “
    Areyousur
    ethatwhaty
    ouwi
    l
    lbeabl
    eto
    f
    orgi
    veher
    ?”
    “Yes,that’
    swhatmar ri
    ageisabout ,f
    orgiv
    eness.
    Iwill
    learntoforgi
    ve.Whoev erpostedthatvideo
    i
    sexpect ingforustobreakup, Iam goingtodo
    theopposi t
    e.Mychildisal
    readyi nv
    olvedinthis.
    Idon’twanthim growingupwi t
    hsepar ate
    parents.That’
    snottheenvir
    onmentIwantf or
    mychi
    l
    d.”

    *
    **

    Otengparkedhiscarbyt
    hefil
    li
    ngstati
    onthen
    steppedoutasAbe’sBMW pull
    edupnextt ohi
    s
    car.AbesteppedoutasOtengscrol
    ledthr
    ough
    hi
    sphone.Abest oodinf
    rontofhi
    mt henOteng
    putawayhisphone.
    “
    Whatdoy
    ouwant
    ?”
    “Yearsbackwheny ouwer esti
    llyoung, ayoung
    girl
    washiredasamai daty ourhouse, shewas
    aneighborandy ourf
    atherrapedher ,sheran
    from homeandwasnev erfoundagai n.That
    womangav ebir
    thtomeandbecauseshe
    couldn’
    tevensupportherself
    ,shechoset o
    l
    eav emef orsomeonewhocoul dactuallytake
    careofmet hewaysheknewIdeser vedtobe
    takencareofbutherli
    fewasnev erthesame.
    Thatwomani
    smymot
    herandy
    ourf
    atheri
    sthe
    rapi
    st.
    ”
    Otengst
    eppedbackandputhishandsi
    nhis
    headtur
    ning.Hetur
    nedback.“
    Hernameis
    GraceMasediri
    ght?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Iwastherewheni thappened, Ir
    ememberit
    j
    ustthatIwasy oungt odoanythi
    ng.Shewas
    darkincompl exion, chubbyandshehasa
    dimple.Il
    ookedf orherandt r
    iedtal
    ki
    ngtoher
    butshewant ednot hingtodowi t
    hmyf ami
    ly
    ,
    notthatIbl
    ameher .Andshehasadaught er
    ,I
    metheroncel ongback. ”
    “Yes,Tseo.Shefoundmemonthsbackbut
    becauseIdidn’
    tknowwhatreal
    l
    yhappenedand
    Ialwaysthoughtshethr
    ewmeaway ,
    Iignor
    ed
    herti
    llshesentTseo.
    ”
    “
    Youknewy
    ouwer
    eadopt
    edt
    hough?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Iknew.Ihav
    eal
    way
    sknownbutInev
    er
    yearnedmyrealmotherbecauseofwhatI
    beli
    evedhappened.
    ”
    OtenglookedatAbeandshookhishead.
    “That
    ’sfuckedup.Atl
    eastnowyouknow.I
    wouldratherl
    iv
    ewiththetr
    utht
    hanli
    es.NowI
    wonderifthemaidbackhomeisreal
    lysaf
    e.”
    “
    Hei
    sli
    vi
    ngwi
    thamai
    d?”
    “Ihadtohireoneforhi
    mt ohelphim ar
    ound
    sincemymot herpassedon.Ifoundsomething
    oddwhenIv i
    sit
    edhim,Iaskedthemaidifshe
    wascool andshesaidyes.”
    “
    Whati
    shei
    sthr
    eat
    eni
    ngher
    ?”
    “Hemustbe.Allourmaidsalwaysendup
    l
    eavingonewayort heother
    .Ihavetogether
    outofther
    e.Hermom beggedmet okeepher
    saf
    e.”
    Summerroll
    eddownthewi
    ndowandl
    ookedat
    herf
    ather
    .“Daddy
    ,ar
    ewesti
    ll
    get
    ti
    ngt
    he
    pi
    zza?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Iam hungr
    y,IcaneataLi
    on.
    ”
    Abechuckl
    ed.“
    Ok,
    wear
    egoi
    ngnow.
    ”
    Summerl ookedatOtengthenhesmil
    edand
    waved.Shesmi l
    edbackandr ol
    l
    edupthe
    window.OtengturnedbacktoAbe.
    “
    Isy
    ourdaught
    erwhi
    te?
    ”
    “
    Yes.Hermot
    heri
    swhi
    terorwaswhi
    te.
    ”
    “
    Shei
    sdead?
    ”
    “
    No.Butt
    omeandmydaught
    ershei
    s.Ihav
    e
    t
    ogo.”
    “Cool
    ,andyeah,don’
    tthi
    nkbecausewear e
    brot
    hersIwon’tf
    uckyouupformywi fe,
    Iknow
    yousti
    lll
    oveherandIwil
    lst
    epony ourneck.”
    Abel
    ookedathi
    m andcl
    i
    ckedhi
    stongue.
    “Mar
    ete!
    ”
    .
    .
    Don'
    tforgett
    hecommentswi
    lldeter
    mineif
    ever
    yoneisbackfr
    om t
    hehol
    i
    day ssothatwe
    cont
    inue.
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #134

    Otenggotthedoctorwhit
    esandwalkedoutof
    thepharmacy.Hejumpedinhiscarj
    ustasa
    poli
    cecarpull
    edupnexttohis.Hestar
    tedhi
    s
    carastheysteppedoutandknockedhi
    s
    window.Otengsighedandrol
    leddownhis
    window.
    “
    Ihav
    etogett
    omywi
    fe,
    whatdoy
    ouwant
    ?”
    “
    Wehav
    easear
    chwar
    rantt
    osear
    chy
    ourcar
    .”
    “
    Don’
    tyouhav
    eany
    thi
    ngbet
    tert
    odo?
    ”
    “
    Areyougoi
    ngt
    ofi
    ghtusorwhat
    ?St
    epoutof
    t
    hecar.
    ”
    Otengsteppedoutandwatchedasthey
    searchedhiscar
    .Theyl
    ookedathim.
    “
    It
    ’sf
    ine,
    youcango.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    ouev
    ergoi
    ngt
    ogett
    ir
    ed?
    ”
    “
    Redir
    atir
    oy ar
    onamorena,gagonakagolapa.
    (
    Wearejustdoingourj
    ob,t
    hereisnoget
    ti
    ng
    t
    ir
    edofit
    .)
    ”
    Thepoli
    cegotbacki
    nthei
    rcaranddrov
    eaway
    .
    Hisphoner
    angashegotbackinhiscar
    .
    “
    Babe…”
    “What’sgoingonOteng?Auntycal
    l
    edandsaid
    thepolicewasathome!Ithoughtyousai
    dyou
    stopped!”
    Helookedaroundhiscart
    henst
    eppedoutand
    wentadist
    antfrom hi
    scar.
    “
    Idi
    dst
    op.Justt
    hatt
    heyar
    enotsat
    isf
    ied.
    ”
    “Idon’
    tcare,
    yourthi
    ngsaregett
    ingtothekids
    too.Theywereathomeandt heylef
    tever
    ything
    upsidedown,mykidsaregett
    inginyourmess!”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry,
    Idi
    dn’
    tknow.
    ”
    “
    Ifyouli
    edtomeOt eng,
    Iam goi
    ngt
    oleav
    e!I
    wil
    lnotst
    ayforsuch.
    ”
    “Iam comingthere,wewil
    ltal
    kwhenIget
    there.
    ”Hehungupandgotbacki nhiscar
    .He
    l
    ookedar oundthenstar
    tedthecaranddrovet
    o
    theprivat
    ecli
    nic.Awhil
    elat
    erhesteppedout
    withthefoodandt hepl
    asti
    cfrom t
    he
    pharmacy .

    *
    **

    IwatchedTsot
    hle’
    sfacebookvideoandsighed
    sadl
    yknowingforsurethatt
    hatwasn’tTi
    no.My
    phoner
    ang,
    Ismi
    l
    edpi
    cki
    ng.
    “
    Mommy
    !”
    “Hey,
    Iam sor
    ryIcouldn’
    tcome,
    Hopehasbeen
    keepi
    ngmeonmyt oes.”
    Ismil
    edli
    steningt
    othecri
    esf
    rom t
    he
    backgr
    ound.“Icanhear
    .”
    “
    Eazi
    Iam f
    ail
    i
    ngatt
    his.Shekeepscr
    ying.
    ”
    “Hey,
    cal
    m down.Noonei
    sanexpectf
    ir
    st
    hand.
    ”
    “
    Not
    hingIam doi
    ngi
    swor
    king.
    ”
    “That’
    swhyIsai
    dgethelpLi
    na,
    cally
    ourmom’
    s
    sist
    ertohel
    pyou.Youcan’
    tdothi
    salone.
    ”
    “
    Uncl
    eref
    used.
    ”
    “Thengetsomeonewhoknowsthedeal.You
    can’tdothi
    sal
    one.I
    t’
    snotacasecour
    t.Howis
    herdiaper?
    ”
    “
    Ijustcheckedi
    t,i
    t’
    sfi
    ne.
    ”
    “
    Food?
    ”
    “
    Ifedher
    .”
    “Andcl
    othes?Someti
    meswhensheistoohot
    shecri
    esbecausesheisuncomf
    ort
    abl
    e.”
    “
    Ok…uhhl
    etmesee.
    ”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lhol
    d.”
    Iwait
    edforf
    ewmi nut
    est
    henshef
    inal
    l
    ycame
    backtot
    heli
    ne.“
    Ok.”
    “
    Chil
    drensenseourmood.Justcal
    m down,
    she
    i
    sprobabl
    yjustsl
    eepy
    .Holdher,becal
    m,si
    ng
    f
    orherify
    oucan.Shewil
    lsleep.
    ”
    “
    Ok.Letmet
    ryi
    t.
    ”
    “
    Yougott
    his.Justgowi
    tht
    hef
    low.
    ”
    “
    Thanksandgetwell
    soon.Acut
    eki
    dneyfail
    ure
    i
    srever
    sibl
    ebytheway,
    youwill
    beoutofthere
    i
    nafewday s.
    ”
    “
    Yeah,
    thanks.
    ”
    Otengwalkedi
    n,Iputmyphonedownand
    watchedhi
    m putever
    ythi
    ngont
    hebedstar
    ing
    atme.
    “
    Hav
    eIev
    erl
    i
    edt
    oyou?
    ”
    Ibl
    i
    nkedandshookmyhead.“
    No.
    ”
    “
    Whywoul
    dIst
    artnow?
    ”
    “
    Whatdoy
    ouwantmet
    othi
    nk?
    ”
    “Ineedyoutotrustmeasy ourhusband.That
    ’s
    whatIneedfrom you.Youknewt hepoli
    ce
    wouldbeaconst antvi
    sit
    orinourli
    veswhen
    youchoseme, Igaveyouanopt i
    ontowal k
    awayandy oudidn’t
    .Youdidn’
    tenterthi
    sbli
    ndl
    y
    didyou?
    ”
    “Idon’twantitaffect
    ingthekids.Idon’tcare
    aboutme, it
    ’sfinetheycanr at
    tl
    emeup, I
    signedforitwhenIchosey ou!Iam readyto
    takeitbecausei tcomeswi thyouandIl oveyou.
    Butthekidsnev ersignedupf orthi
    sOt eng!
    Theynev ersignedupf orthat!
    ”
    Hesi ghed.“Thereisnot hing,Ipromiseyou.It
    ’s
    overjustthattherei sal
    way sgoi
    ngt obethat
    thi
    ngwer et heyhar assme.Iam sor r
    y,youare
    ri
    ght,thekidsdidn’tsignupf ort
    his.Iwil
    lmake
    i
    tright.Iwil
    l t
    alktot hekidst oo,
    Mal cisol
    d
    enought ounder standal otnow.Iwi ll
    takecare
    i
    fit.Iam sor r
    y,Ireall
    yam, andthanky oufor
    makingmeseet hatpoint.”
    Ismil
    ed,t
    herewasal wayssomet hi
    ngabouta
    manwhoadmi tt
    edt ohiswr ongsandqui
    ckly
    fi
    xedthem.Heleanedov erandkissedme.
    “
    Soy
    ouar
    eleav
    ingmei
    fIl
    i
    ed?
    ”
    Ibl
    ushedgr
    abbi
    ngmyf
    ood.
    “
    Whatt
    ooky
    ousol
    ong?
    ”
    Hesatonthebed.“
    Seemsl
    i
    keAbei
    smy
    br
    other
    .”
    Myhear
    tskippedasIl
    ookedathi
    m.“
    No!Taku
    i
    syourf
    ather?”
    “
    No.Myf
    atheri
    shi
    sfat
    her
    .”
    Ibl
    i
    nkedconf
    used.
    “
    Hewasadopt
    ed.Hi
    sreal
    fat
    heri
    smyf
    ather
    .”
    “
    Hewaswhat
    ?”
    “
    Adopt
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Oh…Wow!
    ”
    “Yeah,hismotherwasonceourmai dl
    ongback
    whenshewasr aped.Iwasyoungto
    understandthenbutIknewwhatIsawsowhen
    Iwasol denoughIlookedforherandf
    oundher
    butshewant ednothi
    ngtodowi thme.
    ”
    “
    Wow!NowIam t
    hegi
    rlwhomar
    ri
    edbr
    other
    s.”
    Ot
    engchuckl
    edandkissedme.“
    Theot
    her
    br
    otheri
    sher
    etostay
    .”
    “
    Soyouarej
    ustgoi
    ngt
    ost
    artar
    elat
    ionshi
    p
    wi
    thAbe?
    ”
    “
    Hei
    smybr
    other
    ,Iknowhehat
    esmebuthei
    s
    mybr other
    ,myonlybrothersfarasIam
    concerned.Arel
    ati
    onshipbetweenusi s
    somet hi
    ngthati
    sgoingt ohappennatural
    l
    y.I
    havenot hi
    ngtoworryaboutconcerni
    nghim,
    ri
    ght?”
    Iswal
    lowed.“
    No.Justt
    hati
    twouldputmei
    n
    anuncomfort
    abl
    esit
    uati
    ontoget
    herwit
    hMal
    c.”
    “Iwil
    lkeephim awayf
    rom myfami
    l
    ybuthei
    s
    alwaysgoingtobemybrother
    .”
    “IknowandIam happyy ouhavefoundeach
    other.Hopef
    ull
    yevery
    thingst
    ayspeacef
    ul.For
    you,forusandforourfamil
    y.
    ”
    “Igotthi
    s.Byt
    hewayIwasthinki
    ngmaybeabit
    oftrav
    eli
    ngwhenyougetbet
    ter.Wit
    htheki
    ds
    ofcause.”
    “Ngng,theywil
    lstaywi
    thaunt
    y.Iam wait
    ing
    foryoutotakemeonourhoneymoonOt eng
    andnowIhav etowaitf
    ormonthsti
    llwego
    becauseofOtsi
    le.Whenwego,Iwanttogo
    withyoualone.Iwantt oenjoymyhoney moon.
    Wi t
    houtthekids.Thenextt ri
    ptheywil
    lsur el
    y
    come.I t
    ’sdif
    fi
    cul tt
    otravel
    wi t
    hyoueveryt ime
    yout r
    avelbecauseoft hekidsandnowy ou
    wantt obri
    ngt hem forourhoneymoon?No!I
    alsowantundi vi
    dedat t
    enti
    on.Theywillstay
    withaunty.Shei smorethanhappyt ohav e
    company .”
    “
    Youdon’
    thav
    etoaskt
    wice.
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Iwantt
    ogetDuduf
    rom myf
    ather
    ’shouse.
    ”
    “
    Who?
    ”
    “
    Duduet
    sang.
    ”
    “
    Ohht
    hatgi
    rl
    ?”
    “
    Yes,
    Iam suspect
    ingsomet
    hingi
    sgoi
    ngon.
    ”
    “
    Likehei
    srappi
    ngher
    ?”
    “Yes.Ipr
    omisedhermotherIwoul
    dkeepher
    safe.Maybeshecancomeandwor kf
    orus.”
    “One,Dudui sagr ownwoman, yesshemi ghtbe
    getti
    ngr appedbutshecanal way swalkout
    from suchsi t
    uati
    ons.Gett
    ingheroutoft hereis
    notapr oblem, matt
    eroffact,ifyourf
    atheris
    rappi
    ngher ,
    it’
    sagoodmov ewhi chIful
    ly
    supportbutIwon’ thaveherinmyhouse.Idon’ t
    haveaf ullti
    memai dforar easonsoshewi ll
    j
    usthav et olookforanot
    herj ob.
    ”
    Ot
    engnodded.“
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    lgot
    her
    eand-
    “
    “No.Youwillj
    ustcal
    lherandtell
    hertoleav
    eif
    sheisbeingabusedorsomethingint
    hesame
    l
    ines,sendhersomemoney ,sheknowsherway
    home.Sheknowswhat ’sri
    ghtforher
    .”
    Henoddedt
    henki
    ssedme.“
    Eemma.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”

    *
    **
    Bar
    ryknockedonPenny
    ’shouseandwait
    ed.
    Sheopenedthedoormi
    nutesl
    aterandsi
    ghed.
    “
    Bar
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Canwet
    alk?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Wil
    lyoul
    etmei
    n?”
    “No,whati
    fyouwantt
    ohur
    tme?Let
    ’st
    alkr
    ight
    here.
    ”
    “
    Whyar
    eyoudoi
    ngt
    his?
    ”
    “Ican’tkeepwast i
    ngmyt imeBar ry.YouandI
    willalway shidebecauseourr el
    ationshipis
    forbidden.Itwi l
    lneverbeaccept ed.Noonewi l
    l
    everaccepti tandi twillcausefights.Idon’
    t
    wantt hat
    .Iwantt oset t
    le,havekidsandbe
    someone’ swi f
    e.Event hel awwon’ tal
    lowust o
    getmar ri
    ed.Wear epractical
    lybrotherand
    sister.Justli
    keEazi andOt engwhent heydi dn’
    t
    knowf ir
    st.Youwer eagai nsttherelati
    onship.
    Therei
    snodif
    fer
    encebetweenour
    s.Iam sor
    ry,
    Ican’
    tdot
    hisanymor
    e.”
    Bar
    rytookadeepbr
    eat
    h.“
    Wecanmakei
    t
    work.
    ”
    “
    Nowecan’
    t.I
    t’
    simpossi
    ble.Wear
    erel
    ated.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Otengwillki
    ll
    you.Youknowit
    .Pleasej
    ust
    l
    eave.Iam sor
    rybutIcan’
    tdot
    hisanymore.
    ”
    Shewalkedbacki nsi
    det hehouseandl ocked
    thedoor.Barrysl
    owlywal kedtohi scarandsat
    withapoundi ngheart
    .Hel ookedatherhouse
    forawhilethenfinal
    l
    ydr oveof f.Minut
    eslater
    Keithdr
    ov einandparkedhi scarwher eBarry’
    s
    carhadbeeni n.Hewal kedtot hedoorholding
    aplasti
    cbagofgoodi es, Pennyopenedt he
    doorandlethi minwithasmi le.

    *
    **
    Binaparkedhercarinhermother’
    syar
    dwher e
    rel
    ati
    veshadalreadygather
    edthenshewalked
    i
    nsidethehouse.Shelookedathermother
    cryi
    ngwi t
    hafrown.
    “
    Wher
    eisKopomama?
    ”
    Hermothercr
    iedhardershaki
    ngherhead.
    Tearsf
    il
    ledBi
    na’seyesthensheshookher
    head.“
    Whatisgoingon?”
    “
    Shei
    sgone.
    ”
    “
    Ngng,
    whatar
    eyousay
    ingmama?
    ”
    “
    Shei
    sgone.Shei
    sgone.
    ”
    Bi
    nast
    eppedback,
    tear
    sinherey
    es.“
    Mama…”
    “
    It
    ’sov
    er!
    ”
    Arel
    ati
    vehel
    dBina’
    shandbutshemov
    edback.
    “
    Whereismysister
    ?”
    “
    Shewasf
    oundatt
    hebusst
    op.Seemedshe
    hadbeendeadf
    oracoupl
    eofhour
    s.”
    “
    Mama…”
    “
    Shei
    sgone.
    ”
    Binalookedar oundatt her
    elat
    iveswi
    letear
    s
    madet heirwaydownhercheeks.Acr yescaped
    throughherlipsf i
    ll
    i
    ngtheentir
    ehouse.Her
    oldestauntwal kedoverandhuggedtightywhil
    e
    shecr i
    ed.Otherr el
    ati
    veswatchedsadly
    shakingthei
    rheads.

    *
    **

    Gi
    nal
    ookedatSummer
    ’smar
    ksandsi
    ghed.
    “
    Shedi
    dthi
    s?”
    “
    Yest
    henshesai
    dshewi
    l
    lki
    l
    lme.
    ”
    Ginal
    ookedatAbe.“
    Ihopey
    ouar
    eleavingher
    .
    Youcan’
    tmarryawomanwhohat
    esy our
    chi
    l
    dren.
    ”
    Takusighed.“
    Shei
    sy oungandpr
    obablysti
    l
    l
    i
    nfl
    uenced.Thatgi
    rli
    sagoodgirl
    ,sheneedsto
    betaught.
    ”
    Gi
    nalookedatTaku.“Sheneedst
    obet
    aught
    what
    ?Tol ov
    ethekids?”
    “Shedoesn’ thavechild.Shedoesn’ tknowhow
    totakecar eofkids.Andmay beAbeshould
    wait,gettoknowherev enmor ethenmar r
    yher
    .
    Givether elati
    onshi
    pt woy ears,giv
    ehera
    chancet ogett oknowt heki ds,gi
    vehera
    chancet opr oveherself
    .Iknowy ouare
    disappointedbyt hefactthatshebeatSummer
    butIthinkshedeser vesanot herchance.”
    “PapaIam choosingmykidsoverthiswoman.
    Ifshecan’
    tnatural
    lyl
    ovemykidstheni tmeans
    shedoesn’thavenatur
    all
    oveforkids.Iam t
    ir
    ed
    ofputt
    ingthem thr
    oughalot,
    pleasecancelthe
    negoti
    ati
    ons.Iwantnothi
    ngtodowi ththat
    womanandt
    hat
    ’sf
    inal
    .”
    “
    Arey
    ousur
    e?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “Ok.Iwil
    li
    nfor
    my ouruncl
    es.Atl
    easty
    oudi
    dn’
    t
    getthi
    sonepregnant.
    ”
    Gi
    nasatdown.“
    Eazi
    -“
    “Mama,please!IknowbutIam t
    ryi
    ngt
    omov
    e
    onpasther.”
    “
    Iwi
    sht
    hingswer
    edi
    ff
    erent
    .”
    “SodoIbutt
    heyar
    enot
    .Iam t
    ryi
    ngt
    omov
    eon
    pastt
    hatwoman.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “It
    ’sok.Iknowy oul
    oveher,sodoIbutsheis
    nol ongermineanymore.Eveni
    fIcangether,
    shewon’ tl
    eaveherhusband.Shelov
    eshim and
    that’ssomethi
    ngIhavetoaccept.
    ”
    “
    Tisha-
    “
    “Tishadidnothi
    ngwr ong.Ishoul
    dhav e
    protectedmywi f
    efrom suchbutIguessInev er
    tri
    edhar denough.Butthat’
    sthat
    .Al essonwas
    l
    ear nt
    .”Hehuggedhi smother.“I
    fit
    ’smeantt o
    bei twil
    lbeandifnotthenweacceptt hat
    .”
    Hi
    sphonev
    ibr
    atedf
    rom hi
    spocket
    .
    “
    Yah?
    ”
    “
    Hi,
    it’
    sDr
    .K.Baf
    ana,
    wemetear
    li
    eron.
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    UhhImighthavemadeamist
    ake,
    Igav
    ethe
    wrongpr
    escr
    ipt
    iont
    oRonal
    d.”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Yes.Iam r
    eal
    l
    ysor
    ry,
    Idon’
    tknowwher
    emy
    mindi
    s.”
    “
    Mysondr
    ankt
    hat
    .”
    “I
    t’
    snotnecessar
    il
    ygoingtocausemuchharm
    becauseofthedosagebutIwanttohav
    ealook
    athim.”
    “SoIshouldcomebackt
    othehospi
    tal
    ?If
    anyt
    hinghappenst
    omyson,youaregoingt
    o
    regr
    etit
    .”
    Baratit
    ookadeepbr eathin.“
    CanIpleasecome
    toyourhouse?Ihaveal r
    eadyknockedoff.I
    havether i
    ght
    fulmedicati
    on.I
    t’
    sjustapain
    kil
    l
    er,nothi
    ngmuchi sgoingtohappentohim.
    Youcancal m down.Ijustwantt
    omakesur ehe
    i
    sf i
    ne.”

    *
    **

    AtAbe’
    shouse,
    Barat
    iwal
    kedi
    nandsmi
    l
    ed
    st
    ari
    ngattheki
    ds.
    “
    Heyguy
    s…”
    Summersmi
    l
    ed.“
    Youal
    socomet
    oour
    houses?
    ”
    “
    Nobutf
    ory
    ouguy
    sIwi
    l
    lcome.
    ”
    Abepoi
    ntedatRonnyt
    henBar
    ati
    wal
    kedov
    ert
    o
    hi
    m.
    “
    Hey
    ,howar
    eyouf
    eel
    i
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Sleepy
    .”
    “Ok,
    any
    thingel
    se?
    ”Shet
    ouchedhi
    sfor
    ehead
    andsmi
    led.
    “
    No.
    ”
    “
    Per
    fect
    .”
    Summerwal
    kedoverandsatbesi
    deRonald.“
    I
    am f
    eel
    i
    ngbett
    erbuti
    fItouchi
    tit
    ’spai
    nful
    .”
    Bar
    ati
    smil
    ed.“
    Wel l
    ,don’
    ttouchitt
    henbuty
    ou
    ar
    egoingt
    obefine.Youboth.”
    “Ili
    keyou.Youar
    eni
    ce.Aunt
    yNi
    shawasn’
    t
    nice.
    ”
    Ronal
    dnodded.“
    Yes,
    shebeatus.
    ”
    “Hopef
    ull
    yitnev
    erhappensagai
    nandy our
    daddygetssomeonewhodoesn’tabuse
    chi
    l
    dren.Ok,
    Iam goi
    ngnow.Goodni
    ght
    !”
    Shetur
    nedandwal
    kedoutwit
    hAbebehi
    ndher
    .
    Shehandedhi
    mthemedici
    ne.
    “Ij
    ustgavehim somethingthatisnotf
    orhis
    age,t
    hat’sal
    lthathappened.Nothingmuch.By
    tomorr
    owmor ni
    ng.hewi l
    lbefinesoyouwill
    j
    ustswitchtothat.
    ”
    “
    Thanks.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    ewel
    come.
    ”
    “
    Ibr
    okeupwi
    thNi
    sha.
    ”
    Barati
    smi l
    ed.“Nextti
    megetsomeonechi ld
    l
    oving.ThereasonwhyIam si nglewit
    hmy
    daughteristhatyoucan’tj
    ustchooseanyone
    Abedil
    e.Youchoosesomeonewhocanl ove
    ki
    ds.It’
    snol ongeraboutyouonly,y
    ourki
    dsare
    partofitnow.Justsaying.
    ”
    Hesmil
    edback.“
    Youareri
    ght
    .Sowhenshoul
    d
    t
    heycomeforacheckup?
    ”
    “
    No,
    Idon’
    tmeany
    oushoul
    dhi
    tonme.
    ”
    Helaughed.“Whynot
    ?Youhaveachi
    ldandyou
    l
    ovekids,Ihavet
    wokidsandIl
    oveki
    ds.What’
    s
    st
    oppingus?”
    Barat
    ilaughedget
    ti
    ngi
    nhercar
    .“Youar
    ecr
    azy
    .
    Bye!”
    Hestoodbyherwi
    ndow.“
    What
    ’sy
    our
    daught
    er’
    sname?”
    “
    ManeoBaf
    ana.
    ”
    “
    Howol
    disshe?
    ”
    “
    14y
    ear
    sol
    d.”
    “
    Herf
    ather
    ?”
    “
    Notar
    ound.Nev
    erbeenar
    ound.
    ”
    “
    Howol
    dar
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Youar
    emypat
    ient
    ,st
    opt
    his.
    ”
    “
    Ijustwantt
    oknow.I
    t’
    sinnocent
    ,Iswear
    .”
    “
    30.
    ”
    Hest
    eppedbackwi
    thasmi
    l
    e.“
    ByeRat
    i!
    ”
    Shelookedathi m shy l
    yroll
    ingupherwindow
    thendrov eherAudi out.Abetookouthisphone
    andsav edhernumberbef oregoingtohis
    WhatsAppandsear chedher .Heopenedher
    profi
    l
    epi ctur
    eandi twasofherandher
    daughterpoutingatt hecamer a.Heshookhis
    headfindinghimselfsmi li
    ng.

    EI
    GHTYEARSLATER
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #135
    AtUB,Malcol
    ml ookedattheti
    methenquickl
    y
    packedhi
    sclothesinthebagandclosedi
    t.He
    putonat-shi
    rtandwalkedoutwit
    hhisbag.
    Oneofhisfri
    endwalkedover.
    “
    Areadyl
    eav
    ing?
    ”
    “
    Yeah,ol
    adyont
    swer
    ekadi
    washeni
    the
    monna.”
    “Ei
    sh,goinghomef
    ormeisnotanopt
    ion.Iam
    hopingtomakemoneyt
    hisf
    esti
    ve.
    ”
    Mal
    col
    m nodded.“
    Pusht
    hehust
    le!
    ”
    “
    Sur
    elai
    taka.
    ”
    “
    Yah,
    taket
    swar
    ebat
    hohaTaung.
    ”
    “
    Sur
    esur
    e!”
    Malcol
    m proceededtothecarandthrewhi
    s
    baginthebootthengotinthedri
    ver
    ’sseat
    .Hi
    s
    phonerangashest ar
    tedtheengi
    ne.
    “
    Myl
    ady
    …”
    “
    Mal col
    m,yousai
    dyouwoul
    dcomey
    est
    erday
    ,
    t
    il
    ltoday!
    ”
    “
    Iam comi
    ng.Ihadt
    oti
    ght
    enl
    oseends.
    ”
    “Idon’tli
    kethi
    s.Whenyoumakepr omises,you
    keept hem.Ididn’
    tsl
    eeplastni
    ght,
    kantekeng?
    Or atahakestressa?
    (YoulikewhenIam
    stressed?)”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry,
    myoneandonl
    y,Ipr
    omi
    sey
    ou,
    t
    oni
    ghtIwil
    lbet
    her
    e.”
    Hi
    smot
    hersi
    ghed.“
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    lbel
    i
    evet
    hat
    .”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Justcomehome.
    ”
    Hehungwi thasmi
    lewhil
    eIt
    umeleng
    approachedhi
    scar
    .“Babe…youaregoi
    ng
    al
    ready?”
    “
    Yah,
    wej
    ustspoket
    enmi
    nut
    esback.
    ”
    I
    tumel
    engsmi
    l
    edsadl
    y.“
    Iam goi
    ngt
    omi
    ss
    y
    ou.”
    “
    Iknow,
    met
    oo.
    ”
    Shel
    eanedov
    erandki
    ssedhi
    m.“
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Yeahbabe,
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lyou.
    ”
    It
    umel engnoddedt hensteppedback.She
    wat chedhim putonhisbaseballcap,hewasso
    handsomeshest il
    lcoul
    dn’tbel
    ieveshewas
    actuallydat
    inghim.Wi t
    hhisbuffedbodyand
    heightshecoul dhardl
    ybeli
    evetheywer e
    aroundt hesameage, helookedsool d
    especiall
    ywi t
    hthatbeard.Hewi nkedather
    maki ngherblushthentookof f
    .
    Malcol
    m drov
    etoTaungwher
    ehestoppedthe
    carpeopl
    eranoverwhi
    l
    eherol
    leddownhis
    window.
    “
    Maun!
    ”
    Mostwentbackexpectonegi
    rl
    .“Iam goi
    ngt
    o
    Maun.
    ”
    “
    Tsena.(
    Geti
    n.)
    ”
    Shepushedherbagt
    otheboot,hest
    eppedout
    thenwentt
    otheboot
    ,openedandputherbag
    i
    nside.
    “
    Let
    ’sgo.
    ”
    Hejumpedbackonhi
    sseatwhi
    l
    ethegi
    rl
    openedt
    hebacseat
    .
    “
    Tsenakwano.(
    Geti
    nthi
    ssi
    de.
    )”
    Sheclosedthebackdoorandgoti
    nthe
    passengerseat
    .Malcol
    mjoinedt
    heroad.
    “
    Iam Mal
    col
    m.”
    Shetimidl
    ylookedathim nowwonder i
    ngifshe
    hadmadet herightf
    uldeci
    sion.Sheshouldhave
    takenthebus,thatwouldhavebeenal otmore
    safebutnowher eshewas, al
    onewithaman.
    Whoknewwhathecoul ddot oher.She
    swall
    owedhar dstari
    ngathim, wasitt
    oolatet
    o
    changehermi
    nd?
    “
    Kaone.
    ”
    Henoddedt henconnect
    edhi sphonet othe
    car
    ’sBl
    uetoothspeakerandst ar
    tedplayi
    ng
    someNigeri
    anhitsongsrelaxedonhi sseat.
    Shequi
    etlyputonherseatbeltandleanedback
    onherseatholdi
    ngherhandbagt ight
    ly.

    *
    **

    Tashafini
    shedmakingbreakf
    astt
    hensether
    tabl
    e.Sheputever
    ythi
    nginordert
    hentookout
    herri
    ngingphonef
    rom herpocket
    .
    “
    Mama…”
    “
    Tashaweneedt
    otal
    k.”
    “
    Mamaifi
    t’
    saboutPhat
    simo,
    pleasenot
    t
    oday
    .”
    “
    Howl
    ongdoy
    oui
    ntendoncohabi
    ti
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    ethi
    sman.
    ”
    “Doyoureali
    zewhaty
    ouaredoi
    ngt
    oyour
    sel
    f?
    Youdeservesomuchbet
    ter.
    ”
    “Il
    ovehim,Idon’
    tknowwhaty ouwantmeto
    do.”Tear
    sfil
    l
    edherey es.“
    WhatshouldIdo
    whenhewon’ tmarrymemama?Hei stry
    ingt
    o
    gethisbusi
    nessofftheground.”
    “
    Het r
    yingtogethi sbusi nessof ftheground.
    Hisbusiness,Tasha,youar edoingt hesame
    t
    hingyoudi dalloveragai n.Youf orgetyour
    self
    whenevery ouareinar elationship.Heistryi
    ng
    t
    ogethi sbusinessofft hegr ound, whatabout
    you?Whatar eyout r
    yingt odo? ”
    “
    Mamapl
    ease…”
    “Iam try
    ingtohelpyou.Hewillnevermar r
    yyou
    i
    fyouar ealr
    eadyawi f
    etohi
    m.Youal ready
    gavehim achil
    d,nexti
    sanotherone, t
    hen
    anotherone.Andyet20year
    sl ater
    ,hest i
    ll
    won’tmar ryy
    ou.Bytheny ouwouldhavegi
    v en
    him 5kids.Aft
    erall
    that,hewillmarr
    ya
    dif
    ferentwomanandy ouwil
    l t
    urnint
    oabit
    ter
    woman, y
    ouwi l
    lbecall
    edabi tt
    erbabymama.7
    yearswiththi
    smanandst i
    llnothi
    ng!
    ”
    Phat
    simowal
    kedinsi
    dethehousef
    rom hi
    s
    morni
    ngjogt
    henTashahungupwithasmile.
    “
    Heybabe…”
    “
    Hey
    ,br
    eakf
    asti
    sready
    .”
    “Packmine,
    Ineedtogett
    owor
    k.Ihav
    eal
    ate
    breakf
    astmeet
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hekissedherrubbi
    ngherbumpt
    hen
    di
    sappearedtothebedr
    oomswhi
    leshebl
    i
    nked
    awayhertear
    s.

    *
    **
    AtTino’
    soff
    ice,
    Tsotl
    hecatwalkedinherlong
    heel
    sandlongweavetowardsthedoor.She
    openedwit
    hasmi l
    ewalki
    ngin.Tinolookedat
    her.
    “
    Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngher
    e?”
    Shesmil
    ed.“Youfor
    goty
    ourl
    unch.
    ”Shehel
    d
    uphi
    slunchbox.
    “
    Oh.
    .”
    “
    Yes,
    IthoughtIwoul
    ddr
    opi
    tov
    er.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    thanks.
    ”
    Tsot
    lhewalkedroundhi
    stabl
    eandl
    ookedat
    hi
    m.“Iwast hi
    nki
    ngmaybewecandowi t
    h
    sometrav
    eling.
    ”
    “
    Iam busyr
    ightnow,
    Ican’
    tjustt
    rav
    el.
    ”
    “
    Tinoy
    ouhav
    ebeensay
    ingt
    hatf
    orawhi
    l
    e.”
    “
    Yes,
    becauseIam busy
    .”
    Shesmi
    l
    edpi
    cki
    nghowhi
    svoi
    cewasr
    isi
    ng.
    “
    Ok,
    Iunder
    stand.
    ”
    Sheleanedovert
    okisshi
    m buthemov edback.
    “Tsot
    lheIam atwor
    k.Wewillt
    alkathome.”
    “
    Youar
    enev
    erhome.
    ”
    “
    Iam r
    unni
    nganent
    ir
    ecompany
    !”
    “
    Iknowy
    ouar
    echeat
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Osi
    mol
    otseaker
    e?(
    Youhav
    est
    art
    edr
    ight
    ?)”
    “
    Iknowy
    ouar
    e.”
    “
    Say
    stheonewhocheat
    s.”
    “Whenwi
    llyoust
    opremi
    ndi
    ngmeofthat
    ?You
    sayyouf
    orgavemebuty
    ouhav
    en’
    t.Youhat
    e
    me.”
    “
    Tsot
    lhecanIpl
    easewor
    k.”
    Sheclosedhislaptop.“
    Wheny ouforgi
    ve
    someoney oudoi twhorehear
    tedl
    y,notyouj
    ust
    sayi
    ngit.Youcan’tevenhavepropersexwit
    h
    me.Wehav ent
    ’hadsexingmor et
    han6
    mont
    hs.
    ”
    “
    Itol
    dyouIneededt
    imeandy
    oudi
    dn’
    tgi
    veme
    t
    heti
    me.”
    “Whatdoyoumean?Igav
    eyout
    ime,
    Ist
    ayed
    awayformont
    hs.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.ButIcan’
    tseem t
    ori
    dthatvi
    deo
    f
    rom myheadeveryt
    imeIlookaty
    ou.”
    “
    Youhav
    etost
    opt
    hinki
    ngabouti
    t.
    ”
    “
    May beIwouldi
    fyouj
    ustt
    oldmewhoi
    twas
    wi
    thoutl
    ying.
    ”
    “
    Idi
    d.”
    “
    Thereal
    personi
    nthatv
    ideo.That
    ’swhatI
    wantt
    oknow.”
    Tsotl
    helookedathi
    m andsi
    ghed.“
    Howwi
    l
    l
    thathel
    panythi
    ng?”
    “
    Ijustwantt
    oknow.
    ”
    “
    Itwasacl
    i
    entatwor
    kthen.
    ”
    Ti
    nol
    ookedatherandnodded.“
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Nowy ouknow,
    Tinocanwewor
    konour
    mar
    ri
    age.”
    “Youknowwhat ?Iam t ir
    edoft his.Ihav easked
    youmul ti
    pleti
    mest obehonestandy ouhav e
    keptlyi
    ngt omeeacht ime.Youar eacheat er
    andont opoft hatal i
    ar.Ican’tevenl ookaty ou
    withoutwantingtov omi tbecausey oudi sgust
    meTsot lhe.Iknowi twasn’ taonceof fthing,I
    knowi twasanaf fairandt hatyouev engot
    pregnantandabor tedt hebaby .Iknow
    everyt
    hingbuty outakemef orafool.Yourl ies
    haskeptmebl ockedf rom tryi
    ngt ofixthings
    withyoubecausey ouar ejustal i
    ar.Iam done
    withyou,leavemyof f
    ice.”
    Tsotlhe’
    stearsrandownhercheeks.“Ti
    no,the
    reasonIhavebeenqi eti
    sbecauseIdon’twant
    toletthi
    shav epoweroverourmarr
    iage.Iam
    tryi
    ngtoprotectyou.
    ”
    “
    Leav
    emyof
    fi
    ce.
    ”
    “I
    twasOwen, mybossthatti
    me.That’
    sthe
    tr
    uthandthatbabywasyourbaby.Ial
    ways
    usedacondom wi t
    hhi
    m expextt
    hatoneti
    me
    ofthevi
    deo.Buttheot
    herti
    mestherewasa
    condom.”
    “
    Ifi
    twer
    emybabywhydi
    dyouabor
    tit
    ?”
    “
    Iwasj
    ustscar
    ed.
    ”
    “TobehonestIdon’
    twantthi
    smarri
    age
    anymor
    e,Iam nothappyTsot
    lhe.
    ”
    Shest
    art
    edcryi
    ng.“
    Tinowecanf
    ixt
    hisi
    fyou
    gi
    veusareal
    chanceto.”
    “Icanf
    orgi
    veyoubutIdon’twantyouany
    mor
    e
    asmywi f
    e.Iam j
    ustexhaust
    ed.”
    “
    Ist
    her
    esomeoneel
    se?
    ”
    “
    No,
    ther
    eisnoone.Idon’
    tcheat
    .Iwantout
    .”
    “
    Tinopl
    ease…IknowIwrongedyoubabebutI
    l
    oveyou.Gi
    veusareal
    chance.”
    “Iwantadi vorce.I
    twashardcomi ngtot
    his
    decisi
    onbecauseIal soloveyouthat’
    swhyI
    haven’tcheatedbuteverydaykeepsgett
    ing
    harderandhar derforme.”
    Tsotl
    heputherhandsoverherfacecr
    ying.Ti
    no
    stoodandhuggedher.Tsot
    lheslowl
    ywent
    downherknees.
    “
    Pleasebabe…giveusachancetofi
    xthi
    sandi f
    youstil
    lwanttol
    eaveaf
    terwetr
    ythenit
    ’sf
    ine.I
    won’tstopyoubutf
    ir
    stpl
    easegi
    veusachance
    t
    of i
    xthings.
    ”
    Tinoswal
    lowedst
    ari
    ngatherdownather
    kneeswit
    htear
    srunni
    ngdownherface.
    “
    Ok,
    butIam mov
    ingout
    .”
    Shesl
    owl
    ygotup.“Ok,
    ist
    hat’
    swhaty
    ouwant
    .I
    wil
    ll
    ookf
    orapastorwhocanhel
    pus.
    ”
    Her
    ubbedhi
    shandst
    oget
    her
    .“Ok.
    ”
    Shel
    eanedov
    ert
    oki
    sshi
    m buthemov
    edhi
    s
    head.Shesadl
    ynoddedthenwalkedoutofhis
    off
    icewit
    hherhandbag.Shegotinhercarand
    di
    aledhercousi
    n’
    snumber .
    “
    Hey
    ,howdi
    ditgo?
    ”
    “It
    hinkIneedtoacceptthatit
    ’sover
    .He
    doesn’twantmeanymore, hewantsadivor
    ce.
    Ofcausebegginghim won’tchangeathi
    ng,he
    i
    sev enmov i
    ngout.
    ”
    “
    Atl
    eastnowy
    ouknowf
    orsur
    e.”
    “
    Ilov
    ehi
    m.”
    “Iknowy oudobuty oucan’tstaywher ey
    ouare
    notwanted.Iam nott r
    yingtopushy outo
    divor
    ce,Iam justtr
    yingtomakey ousee.
    Somet i
    mesf orci
    ngthingsdoesn’thelpusbut
    j
    ustholdusback.Pi ckyoursel
    fup, dust
    yoursel
    fandmov eonwi thl
    if
    e.”
    Tsot
    lhesmil
    ed.“
    Youar
    eri
    ght
    .Ishoul
    djust
    moveon.”
    “
    Yeah,
    youwi
    l
    ldobet
    ternextt
    ime.
    ”
    “
    Thankscousi
    e…”
    ‘
    ”Youar
    ewel
    come.
    ”
    Tsotl
    hehungupthought
    ful
    lyt
    hinki
    ngoft
    hej
    ob
    off
    ershehadrecei
    veddaysback.

    *
    **

    Iparkedmycaratt heparkingl
    otthendi daf ew
    touchupst omyf ace.Ismil
    edwithsat i
    sfact
    ion
    thensteppedoutandconf i
    dent
    ywal kedi nsi
    de
    thebigbuil
    dingholdingmysmal l
    pur se.Ifi
    xed
    myhai rapproachi
    ngt her
    ecept
    ionistand
    smiled.
    “
    Hey
    ,ismyhusbandi
    n?”
    “
    YesMr
    s.Bogat
    su.
    ”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Thankssweet
    y..
    ”
    “Bosoy amey agojelwangkemotho!Osekawa
    mohet samma, onal emeeti
    ngl
    edi
    shareholder
    skat hree.Weneedhim al
    i
    ve.
    ”
    Il
    aughedhar
    der
    .“Ot
    aswabaMar
    ia!
    ”
    Sheputherhandst
    oget
    her
    .“Sor
    ry!
    ”
    Igotintheelevat
    ort henleti
    twhiskmeupt o
    theupperfl
    ow.Ist eppedoutandwal ki
    ng
    str
    aighttohisoff
    icet henknockedgentlybef
    ore
    openingthedoorandwal ki
    ngin.Ipausedwith
    asmi l
    eseeinghim sittedwit
    hanot herman.
    “
    Badt
    imi
    ng?
    ”
    Ot
    engsmi
    l
    edget
    ti
    ngup.“
    No,
    comei
    n.”
    Isi
    wngedmyhipssidet
    osi
    dewal
    ki
    ngt
    ohi
    m
    whil
    ethemanstar
    edatme.
    “
    Uhhbabe,
    thisi
    sBoemo,
    afr
    iendofmi
    ne,
    B.
    t
    hisi
    smywife.”
    Boemost
    oodupandshookmyhand.“Ni
    ce
    meeti
    ngy
    ouMrs.Bogat
    su,happyt
    ofi
    nal
    lyeet
    t
    hewomanwhofi
    nal
    l
    yst
    eer
    edt
    hismani
    ntot
    he
    r
    ight
    ful
    pat
    h.”
    “
    Pleasur
    eisal
    lmi
    ne.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    wel
    lwewi
    l
    ltal
    kOt
    ti
    e.”
    “
    Yeahsur
    e!”
    Boemowal
    kedoutt
    henOtengleanedoverand
    ki
    ssedmehar
    dleav
    ingmebreathl
    ess.
    “
    Heymama…”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Ibr
    oughtl
    unch…”
    Helookedatmyhandsthenatmeget
    ti
    ngi
    t.He
    pi
    ckedhisoff
    icephone.
    “Shi
    rley
    ,hol
    danycal
    lsormeet
    ing,
    Iam i
    n
    anothermeeti
    ng,
    Idon’
    tknowwhenIwil
    lbe
    done.”
    Hekissedmeagai
    nunzi
    ppi
    ngmydr
    essf
    rom
    behi
    nd.
    “
    Thi
    sdr
    essi
    sshor
    t.
    ”
    “
    Lunchi
    sser
    ved!
    ”
    Hepull
    editdownmyshoul
    dersandsqueezed
    mybreastki
    ssi
    ngme.Thedressdr
    oppedtothe
    f
    loort
    henhepull
    eddownmypant i
    es.
    “
    Stepoutofy
    ourpant
    ies,
    keept
    heheel
    s.”

    *
    **

    Mari
    asmil
    edwi
    thhercol
    l
    eagueast
    hei
    rboss’
    s
    wi
    fewal
    kedout
    .
    “
    Wai
    tseeee!
    ”
    Hercoll
    eaguel
    aughed.“Whatdoyouexpect
    ,Mr
    .
    Blooksli
    kehewil
    lkil
    lyouwit
    hdick.
    ”
    “Ei
    sh,GodforgivemebutIswearIwoul ddo
    anythi
    ngtohav eataste.Everyt
    imeshecomes
    dressedl
    ikethatorinapr ovoki
    ngmanner,
    she
    l
    eav esl
    ookingexactl
    ylikethat.
    ”
    “Nyaamma,hehasatype.Mr.Bi
    sjust
    beauti
    ful
    andt
    hat’
    shi
    stype.Seeherass!
    ”
    Theybothtur
    nedandwatchedhergeti
    nthe
    conver
    ti
    bleanddr
    iveof
    f.
    Mar ialookedathercoll
    eague.“
    Ijustwantone
    roundwi t
    hthatman.One!Kanaebi l
    ewithhis
    historyandall,
    heremindsmeofGhost ,
    esecaillywhenheisasui t
    !Thatmanhast hat
    thingwabona, t
    hatt
    hingthatmakesmycl i
    t
    throb.Iwoulddoany t
    hingforhim.Ili
    keEazi but
    eish,leenehermani sjusttoomuchf orsome
    ofus. ”
    Hercoll
    eaguestoodupl
    aughi
    ng.“
    Iam goi
    ng,
    youaretoodir
    ty.
    ”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe
    #136

    LaterthatdayLi
    nawal
    kedinsi
    deherhouse
    tal
    kingonherphonewhil
    eholdi
    ngherbagwit
    h
    theotherhand.
    “Wehavebeendati
    ngforawhi
    lenowbabe,I
    am r
    eadytotaket
    hingst
    othenextl
    evel
    .”
    Linasighed.“Idon’
    twantt
    ogetmarri
    edagai
    n.I
    explai
    nedt hattoyouwhenwefi
    rstmet.
    ”
    “I
    sn’
    titunf
    aironme?Ihav eneverbeenmarri
    ed
    andwehav ebeendat
    ingforfouryearsnow,I
    wantsomethingl
    onglasti
    ng,Iam growi
    ngtoo
    ol
    dtobecal l
    edaboyf
    riend.”
    Linasighed.“
    Idon’twantt ogetmar r
    iedsot hat
    youcanonl yreal
    i
    zet hatthefactthatIcan’t
    giveyoukidsdoesn’tsitwellwit
    hy ou.Ican’
    tgo
    throughthatagai
    n.”
    “Iam notyourex.Iam meandIam Theo.You
    haveneverbeenwi t
    hme.Iwantsomet hing
    seri
    ous,mypar entswil
    lbefl
    yi
    ngi nfrom
    Amer i
    catomorrowandIwantt oi
    ntroduceyou
    butonlyifyouwantwhatIwant .Youcant hi
    nk
    aboutitti
    ll
    tomor r
    owev eni
    ng,andifyoushow
    upthenitmeansy oual
    sowantwhatIwant .
    ”
    Theohungupt
    henl
    i
    nat
    ookof
    fhershoes
    si
    tti
    ng.
    “
    Mama!
    ”
    “
    Heey
    y…”
    Hopet hrewhersel
    finhermother’
    sarms,Li
    na
    putherhandsonherandsi ghed.“Imadeanew
    fri
    endatschool.HernameisOsadi andshei
    s
    real
    lynice.Shesit
    snexttome.”
    Li
    nasmi
    l
    ed.“
    That
    ’sni
    ce.
    ”
    “
    Isuncl
    eTheocomi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Nott
    oday
    .”
    “
    Ok,
    Iwi
    l
    lshowhi
    mtomor
    rowmydr
    awi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Youcanshowmet
    oo.
    ”
    Hoperant
    oherroom whi
    l
    ehernannywal
    ked
    overwi
    thasmi
    leholdi
    ngherbag.
    “
    Thanky
    ousomuch.
    ”
    Thenannysmi
    l
    ed.“
    Seey
    out
    omor
    row.
    ”
    “
    Bye!
    ”
    Shewal
    kedoutt
    henLinar
    eachedf
    orherphone
    andcal
    l
    edhersi
    ster
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Eazi
    ,Theowant
    stogetmar
    ri
    ed.
    ”
    “
    That
    ’sgood.
    ”
    “No,Idon’
    twantt
    ogetmar
    ri
    edagai
    nonl
    yto
    div
    orce.”
    “
    Theoi
    snotTanorTendai
    .”
    “
    IknowbutIam scar
    ed.
    ”
    “Igotmar ri
    edtoMoemedi andAbebefor
    e
    hubby .Youstopthenegati
    vi
    tyLi
    na,beopent
    o
    newt hings.Per
    sonal
    lyIli
    keTheo.
    ”
    “
    Becausehei
    swhi
    te?
    ”
    “No,butf
    oryou.Hemakesy
    ouhappyandI
    haveseenit
    .”
    “
    Whati
    fhewant
    smet
    omov
    etoAmer
    ica?
    ”
    “Youtalkt
    ohim aboutthat
    .Stopfi
    ndi
    ng
    excusestoendthisr
    elati
    onshi
    ptoo.I
    fyoukeep
    upwiththatat
    ti
    tudeyouwi l
    ldi
    ealoneand
    singl
    e.”
    “Iam notdesper
    ateformarr
    iage.Iam t
    otal
    l
    y
    fi
    nenotbeingmar r
    ied.Mar
    ri
    agei snot
    achi
    ev ement.
    ”
    “Tomei ti
    s,theri
    ngonmyf i
    ngergi
    vesmeso
    muchpr i
    deandhappiness,kooreIj
    ustfeelli
    ke
    thi
    sonewast ai
    l
    ormadef ormeLina.Ifma2000
    bamot saya,Iswear
    ,Iam goingtogocr azy
    .It’
    s
    thatf
    actthatheismineandmi nealone.Iam
    carr
    y i
    nghislastnamebecauseboyputar ing
    onit.Everydayhelet’
    smeknowwhyt hatr
    ingis
    ther
    ei nthefir
    stplace.Iam notsayi
    nghei s
    perf
    ectandhedoesn’ tmessup.Hedoesmess
    upbecausehei shuman.Idon’texpecthimt o
    beper f
    ectbutIam happyandIhav eaccepted
    thefactthathecomeswi t
    hf l
    aws.”
    “Areyougoingtostoppraisi
    ngthatman?What
    i
    fhei scheati
    ng?Youhav ehighexpectati
    ons
    forhim,Ibetyoudi
    dn’tevenleaveroom for
    disappoi
    ntment.Whenheact ual
    lydisappoint
    s
    you,youaregoingt
    obesohur tyouwi l
    lki
    ll
    yoursel
    f.
    ”
    “I
    fheischeat i
    ngthenhei ssogoodati t
    becausehedoesn’ tgivemear easontothink
    heis.Heisalway sthere,al
    way skeeps
    att
    enti
    ontot hesmal lt
    hings,givememywel l
    deservedatt
    entionandi sthebestf at
    hertoour
    ki
    ds.Ifheischeating,damnhei smor et
    han
    j
    ustgood.AndIdi dn’tleaveroom for
    disappoi
    ntment
    sbecauseItookal
    eapoffai
    th
    Lina.I
    fIgetdi
    sappoi
    ntedt
    henIwil
    ldeal
    withi
    t
    then.”
    “
    Ever
    ymancheat
    s!”
    “Heel awena!St opit!NnakamosokeaKasane
    l
    ehubby , Malcolm adi reagor ogeasal el ebo
    monnawe, nnakeabaecat ionlehubbi sto!Rea
    gohav erhelagonemonat e.Wenaot asalaho
    kaboev erymancheat swhi l
    eIt aket hatr oad
    tri
    pf rom Maunt oKasanewi thbabe, playing
    musi call t
    heway ,
    singingalong, kej amar ato.
    (Tomor r
    owIam goi ngtoKasanewi thhubby ,
    Mal colm shoul dar r
    iveandr emai nwi thhi s
    sibli
    ngs, Iam goi ngonbaecat i
    onwi thhubby .
    Wear egoi ngt ohav esexandi twi l
    l beni ce.You
    aregoi ngt oremai nt herewiththement ali
    tyof
    ev erymancheat swhi l
    eItaket hatroadt ri
    p
    from Maunt oKasanewi thbabe, play i
    ngmusi c
    alltheway ,singingalong,enjoyingl ove.)”
    Li
    nal
    aughed.“
    Mxm,
    Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evey
    oust
    ayso
    f
    arfr
    om menow,nkebeebel
    ekegoet
    ela.(
    I
    woul
    dbevi
    sit
    ingyou.
    )”
    “Maunisni
    ce,
    gapeIalway
    snewIwoul
    dmove
    backthi
    ssi
    deonedaybutwewil
    lal
    way
    svi
    sit
    .
    Ourhousei
    ssti
    ll
    ther
    e.”
    “
    Mxm.
    ”
    “
    Ist
    il
    ll
    ovey
    ou,
    bye!Sayhi
    toHope.
    ”
    “
    Ok.Shap!
    ”
    EazihungupthenLi
    nal
    eanedbackonher
    couchclosi
    ngherey
    es.

    *
    **

    Abesmil
    edasBar
    atiwal
    kedbackt
    othecar
    al
    oneandgoti
    nwhil
    eGinast
    oodbythedoor
    .
    “
    Let
    ’sgo.
    ”
    Hest
    art
    edt
    hecaranddr
    oveof
    f.“
    Doesn’
    tthat
    f
    eel
    good?
    ”
    Bar
    ati
    lookedathi
    m andl
    aughed.“
    What
    ?”
    “Thepeace,Il
    ovet
    hoseki
    dsbutGod,
    some
    peaceisimport
    ant
    !”
    Shesmil
    edrel
    axingonherseat
    .“Iknow.Rago
    di
    raeng?Iwasthinki
    ngmaybewecanwat cha
    movi
    eandjustrelax.
    ”
    “
    Mmewear
    ehav
    ingsex.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    eaddi
    cted.Wehadsexear
    li
    eron.
    ”
    “Ngng.Iwanttohav
    ereal
    sexwi
    thoutany
    dist
    urbance.
    ”
    Barat
    i’
    sphonerangthenshereachedf
    ori
    tand
    answeredherdaught
    er’
    scal
    l.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Mama,
    Igott
    hei
    nter
    nshi
    p.”
    “
    Real
    l
    y?’
    “
    Yes,
    inMaunsoIwi
    l
    lbegoi
    ngt
    her
    e.”
    “
    Wher
    e?”
    “
    AtSi
    ri
    usHot
    el.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    goodl
    uck!
    ”
    “
    Thankyou.Iam st
    art
    ingtomor
    rowsoIam
    t
    aki
    ngtheeveni
    ngbus. ”
    “Ok,saf
    etri
    pandcal
    l meassoonassoonas
    yougetther
    e.Iwi
    l
    ltransf
    ersomemoney.What
    aboutaccommodati
    on?”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lbest
    ayi
    ngatt
    hehot
    el.
    ”
    “Ok,t
    hat’
    sbetter
    .Iwanttoknowallt
    hedet
    ail
    s
    tomorrow.Howit’
    sgoingtoworkandmore.I
    am proudofyou.”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Okby
    e!”
    Abel
    ookedather
    .“Shef
    inal
    l
    ytol
    dyou.
    ”
    “
    Youknew.
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    shewasabi
    tner
    voust
    otel
    lyout
    hatshe
    i
    smov
    ingsof
    ar.
    ”
    “I
    tisfarbutshegott hei
    nternshi
    psot hat
    ’sa
    goodt hi
    ng.IhadherwhenIwasonl y16andI
    di
    dn’tseeamuchbr i
    ghterfutur
    eforherorme
    butlookatust oday
    .”
    “
    Youhav
    ecomesof
    arbabe”
    Tearsfil
    ledBarati’
    seyes.“Sosof ar,t
    he
    struggl
    ewasn’ teasy.Atsomepoi ntIhadto
    l
    eav eherandgoonwi thschool,Ididn’
    tenjoy
    thoseyearsinCubabecauseeachdayIcr i
    ed.I
    am gladshei sleadi
    ngadi ff
    erentfutur
    e,one
    withoutpregnancy.”
    “
    Youar
    eagoodmot
    her
    .”
    Barati
    smiled,
    mi nut
    eslat
    erAbeparkedinfront
    ofhishousethensteppedoutandpickedher
    upwhi l
    eshelaughed.
    “
    Bat
    hongAbedi
    l
    e!”
    Heputherdownandcl
    osedt
    hedoorwi
    thhi
    s
    feettakingoffhi st-shi
    rtthenheki ssedher .
    Baratitouchedhi sbackl etti
    nghi mf eelthecold
    ofherr i
    ng, Abepi ckedherupt henshewr apped
    herlegsar oundhi swai stwhilehet ookhert o
    thecouchwher ehel ai
    dherdownget ti
    ng
    betweenherl egs.

    *
    **

    Malcol
    mlookedatKaonewhowassl
    eepi
    ng
    dr
    ivi
    ng.
    “
    Kaone!
    ”
    Shesl
    owl
    yopenedherey
    esandl
    ookedathi
    m.
    “Wher
    ear
    ewe?”
    “
    Wehav
    ear
    ri
    ved.Wher
    ear
    eyougoi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Tomycousi
    n’
    shouse,
    letmecal
    lher
    .”
    Shetookherphoneanddial
    edanumber.She
    tr
    iedtwi
    cethendial
    edhersi
    ster
    ’snumber
    .
    “Tsot
    lhe,Ihav
    earr
    ivedbutChat
    iwai
    snot
    answeringanymor
    e.”
    “Checkint
    oalodgeandsl eeptheretoni
    ght
    whil
    eItrytogetholdofher.Shecan’tcal
    lyou
    forajobthendoesn’tanswerthephone
    anymore.”
    “Ir
    eal
    lyneedt
    hej
    obbutwhati
    ftheynothi
    ri
    ng
    peopl
    eli
    keme?”
    “
    Thenwewil
    lst
    il
    ll
    ook.St
    opst
    ressi
    ng.Check
    i
    ntoal
    odge.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Kaonehungup.“
    Youcandr
    opmeof
    fatany
    l
    odge.”
    “
    Youar
    eher
    eforaj
    obi
    nter
    view?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    e?”
    “
    Mycousi
    nist
    heonewhoknowswher
    e.”
    ‘
    Youdon’
    tknowt
    henameoft
    hecompany
    ?”
    “
    No.
    ”
    ‘
    Whatifi
    t’
    sascam andy
    oucameal
    ltheway
    her
    efornot
    hing?
    ”
    “
    Mycousi
    nsai
    dit
    ’sl
    egi
    t.
    ”
    “Ok,whati
    ftheyaskyouquesti
    onsregar
    ding
    thecompanyandy ouhavenoideawhatthe
    companyisabout,whatwil
    lyoudothen?
    ”
    “
    I…”
    “Youwhat ?Youcan’tt
    ravel
    al l
    thewayher e
    withoutknowingasingl
    edet ai
    laboutthe
    company .Kooreyouheardjobinter
    viewand
    j
    umpedi n.”
    “
    Cany
    ouj
    ustdr
    opmeof
    fatal
    odge?
    ”
    Malcol
    m shookhi sheadt henstoppedthecar
    atthenearestlodge.Kaonesteppedoutand
    tookherbagt henhandedMal colm money.
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Sur
    e!”
    Hedroveawaywhil
    eshewal
    kedt
    othef
    ront
    deskofthel
    odge.
    “
    Dumel
    ang,
    Iwoul
    dli
    ket
    ochecki
    n.”
    “Unf
    ortunat
    elywehav
    enomor
    eroom.Come
    backtomorrow.”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Shewal kedawayt henstartedwalkingdownt he
    str
    eetpr essi
    ngherphone.Hear ingfootsteps,
    shet ur
    nedbackandsawt wopant sul
    aboy s
    walkingov er
    .Herheartstartedpounding,
    she
    quickenedherstepsshakingwi thfear.
    “
    Emmahosi
    ster
    e!”
    Kaoneshovedherphonebetweenherbr
    east
    thenoneoftheboyspul
    ledherhai
    rfr
    om behi
    nd.
    “
    Wakae?
    ”
    Kaonelookedatt
    hem shaki
    ng.Heygrabbedher
    bagandopeneditthr
    owingever
    ythi
    ngont he
    ground.
    “
    Akaemadi
    ?(Wher
    eist
    hemoney
    ?)”
    “
    Gakenamadi
    .(Idon’
    thav
    emoney
    .)”
    Theybot
    hlaughedthent
    urnedt
    oher
    .“Thi
    sisa
    j
    oke,akaemadi?”
    “
    Ga-
    “
    Oneslappedheracrosst
    hefaceandt
    ookout
    anokapikni
    fe.“
    Ot anyel
    a,war
    eakaemadi?”
    Allt
    hestr
    oesshehadeverhadrepl
    ayedinher
    headasshestar
    edatthem.Shequickl
    ytook
    outthemoneyfr
    om br
    aandgav ethem.
    Onecount
    edt
    henl
    ookedather
    .“Founu?
    ”
    Shet
    ooki
    toutandgav
    eitt
    othem.
    ”
    “
    Goodgi
    rl
    ,apol
    a.(
    Undr
    ess.
    )”
    “
    Rra?
    ”
    “
    Undr
    ess.
    ”
    Theonehol
    dingt
    hemoneyl
    ookedathi
    sfr
    iend.
    “
    Aret
    samay
    e.(
    Let
    ’sgo.
    )”
    “
    Ngng,gaobonemaragoathemonna,keamo
    j
    a.(
    No,
    can’
    tyouthatass,
    Iam f
    ucki
    ngher.
    )”
    “
    Themonnaar
    etsamay
    e.(
    Let
    ’sgo.
    )”
    “Ramojaoneroundhel
    a,gasesepe.(
    Wef
    uck
    heroner
    ound,
    it’
    snothi
    ng.
    )”
    “
    Nnakeat
    samay
    a.(
    Iam goi
    ng.
    )”
    Theot heronetookof frunning.Ther emaini
    ng
    boyl ookedaroundt henkickedherandr anoff
    l
    eav inghergruntingi npain.Tearsrandownher
    cheeksasshel ookedatherbel ongings
    scat t
    eredonthef loor.Shesl owlykneltdown
    andst art
    edputtingev er
    ythi
    ngbacki nthebag.
    Mal colm dr
    ovebyt henstoppedhi scarand
    reversed.Herolleddownhi swi ndow.Hel ooked
    atKaoneshovi
    nghercl
    othesi
    nherbagand
    steppedout
    .
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “
    Thel
    odgehasnor
    oom.
    ”
    “
    Whathappenedt
    oyourcl
    othes?
    ”
    Shewipedawayhert
    ear
    sfi
    ght
    ingt
    oloset
    he
    bag.“
    Nothi
    ng.
    ”
    “Icanseesomet
    hingcl
    ear
    ly,
    whathappened?I
    am notgoi
    ngtoaskyouagai
    n.”
    Kaonelookedathimtear
    ful
    l
    y.“Someboy
    s
    robbedme, t
    heytookmyphoneandmoney.
    ”
    Herv oi
    cetr
    embledasshespoke.
    Malcolm pi
    ckedherbagandputi
    tbacki
    nthe
    bootthenopenedthedoorf
    orher
    .
    “
    Geti
    n,l
    et’
    sgo.
    ”
    Kaonegoti
    nthecarandsatdownunableto
    bel
    iev
    ewhathadjusthappened.Mal
    col
    m got
    backint
    hecaranddroveaway.
    “
    Youal
    readyhav
    eadegr
    ee?
    ”
    Sheshookherhead.“
    No.
    ”
    “
    Howol
    dar
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    19.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    einuni
    ver
    sit
    y?”
    Sheshookherhead.“
    No.
    ”
    “
    Why
    ?”
    “Ifai
    l
    edf or
    m 5,twi
    ce.Therei
    snohopef
    orme
    otherthanlooki
    ngforajob.
    ”
    “Wel l
    whenyoulookforajobyoudor esearch
    ont hecomnayyouwillbeworkingfor.What
    theystandf
    orandwhatt heyarelookingfor
    unlessyouarel
    ookingint
    obeingacl eaner.
    ”
    “
    That
    ’swhatIam l
    ooki
    ngi
    ntobei
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Acl
    eaner
    ?”
    “Yes,mycousi
    nsaystherei
    sacleanerwanted
    atthepr
    eschoolherdaught
    ergoesto.Iwi
    l
    lbe
    doingeveryt
    hingf
    rom cl
    eani
    ngtomai
    ntai
    ning
    theplace.Thesal
    aryi
    sgood.”
    “Whydidn’ty
    ousaysowhenIf ir
    stasked?Ther
    e
    i
    snothingwr ongwit
    hbeingacleaner
    .My
    motheralsostart
    edfrom t
    hebottom,I
    under
    standwhent hi
    ngsarehard.”
    Kaonenodded.“
    Icansl
    eepat
    -“
    “
    Iwil
    lbookyouintoahotel
    .Wewi l
    ldealwit
    h
    t
    hephoneissuetomorr
    owt oget
    herwiththe
    money.
    ”
    Hedr ovetoahotelt
    henparkedthecarand
    rushedinsi
    de.Kaonelookedaroundhi
    scar
    keepingherhandstohersel
    f.Malcwal
    kedout
    minuteslat
    erandgotherbag.
    “
    Come.
    ”
    Shesteppedoutandfoll
    owedafterhi
    m.Heled
    hertotheni
    ceroom thatl
    ooked100times
    bett
    erthanherownroom atheraunt’
    shouse.
    “
    Thanky
    ou.Iwi
    l
    lpayi
    tback.
    ”
    “
    Getr
    estt
    henwet
    alkt
    omor
    row.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ousomuch.
    ”
    “
    Sur
    e.”
    Hel
    ookedatherf
    orawhi
    l
    e.
    “
    Ok,
    goodni
    ght
    .”
    “
    CanIpl
    easecal
    lmysi
    sterwi
    thy
    ourphone?
    ”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    Hehandedherhi
    sphone.Kaonequi
    ckl
    ydi
    aled
    Tsot
    lhe.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Tsotl
    he,myphonegotst
    olent
    oget
    herwi
    tht
    he
    money.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Howdi
    ditgetst
    olen?
    ”
    “ThelodgeIcheckedint
    owasfull
    ybookedsoI
    hadtof i
    ndanotherpl
    ace,t
    hat
    ’swhenIgot
    robbed.”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyounow?
    ”
    “Some…thepersonwhogavemeali
    fthas
    bookedmeintoahotel
    .Iwi
    l
    lpayi
    tbackonceI
    star
    twor
    king.
    ”
    “
    Letmetal
    ktotheper
    son.Iwi
    l
    lsor
    titout
    .Ar
    e
    y
    ouokthough?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    handov
    ert
    hephone.
    ”
    KaonehandedMal
    col
    mthephonewhosmi
    l
    ed.
    “Goodni
    ght
    .”
    “
    Shewant
    stospeakt
    oyou.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hewal
    kedoutput
    ti
    ngt
    hephoneonhi
    sear
    .
    “
    Yeah?
    ”
    “
    Hi,
    mynamei
    sTsot
    lhe,
    hersi
    ster
    .”
    “
    Yeah?
    ”
    “Thanky ouforbooki
    ngherint
    othehotel
    butI
    will
    payf orhercostandal
    sopayyoufor
    everyt
    hingyouhav edonet
    onight
    .”
    “Iwil
    lsendyouthehotel
    ’
    snumbersoyoucan
    sortoutthebi
    ll
    sthenewall
    etev
    ery
    thi
    ngIhav
    e
    donetot hi
    snumber.
    ”
    “UhhImeangi vi
    ngyousomesortof
    appreci
    ati
    on.Iam sur
    eshepai
    dforhert
    ri
    p.”
    “
    Yeahshedi
    d,what
    ’sy
    ournameagai
    n?”
    “
    Tsot
    lhe,
    Tsot
    lheTaf
    ir
    a.”
    “
    Noway
    s!”
    “
    Weknoweachot
    her
    ?”
    “
    Ididn’
    tknowy ouhadasi
    ster
    ,uncl
    eTnev
    er
    t
    oldmet hat
    .”
    “
    Mot
    hookeMal
    col
    m?(
    Ist
    hisMal
    col
    m?)
    ”
    Hel
    aughed.“
    Yeah.
    ”
    “Mxm, ebi
    lelebalakaappreciat
    ion.That
    ’sy
    our
    si
    steroverthere.Iam gl
    ady ouaretheonewit
    h
    her
    .Whatar ey oudoinginMaun? ”
    “
    Ist
    ayher
    e.”
    “
    Ohhhy
    ouguy
    smov
    ed.Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sal
    lgood.
    ”
    “
    Iwil
    lewal
    letyouthemoneyf
    ort
    hehot
    elt
    henI
    wi
    ll
    takei
    tfrom t
    here.
    ”
    “Don’
    tworr
    yaboutt
    hat
    ,Ihav
    esor
    tedi
    tit
    .Gr
    eet
    bigki
    dforme.
    ”
    Shelaughed.“Don’
    tcal
    lmysonthat
    ,hel
    ost
    somewei ght.Yousoundli
    keabigmanwit
    h
    thatdeepvoicebat
    hong!”
    “
    BecauseIam.
    ”
    Tsot
    lhel
    aughed.“
    Bye.
    ”
    Hehungupanddr
    ovehomel
    ooki
    ngatt
    het
    ime.
    .
    .
    Don'
    tfor
    gett
    oli
    keandcomment
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #137

    Thef oll
    owingmor ning,Iwalkedoutoft he
    housewi thmysungl assesdr essedinmyjean
    shortsandsneaker s.Otengl oadedthecooler
    boxesi nthebootthencl osedt hebootand
    l
    ookedatmewi t
    hal i
    tt
    lesmi l
    e.Ilookedaway
    blushingjustasMal cwal kedout .
    “
    Arey
    ouok?
    ”
    Inodded.“
    Iam gl
    adyouarebackhome.I
    missedyou.
    ”Ihuggedhi
    mt i
    ghtl
    y.
    “
    Imi
    ssedy
    out
    oomama.
    ”
    Ist
    eppedbackandst
    aredathistal
    l
    nessand
    buff
    edbody.Hedi
    dn’
    tlookl
    ikethesmall
    Malc,
    butrat
    herabi
    gmanwi t
    hbeard.
    “Youaresogr
    own,
    Iwi
    shy
    oucanbesmal
    l
    agai
    n.”
    Hel
    aughed.“
    Aii
    mama!
    ”
    “
    Youhav ebeardandyouhaveareall
    ydeep
    voi
    ce.Pleasedon’
    timpr
    egnat
    esomeonebef or
    e
    marryi
    ngthem.Iwantmygrandchi
    ldrenbor
    nin
    wedlock.
    ”
    “
    Yesmama!
    ”
    Otenghuggedmef r
    om behi
    ndkissingmyneck.
    Ibreat
    hedoutwit
    hasmi l
    e.Otengletgothen
    l
    ookedatMalc.Hegentl
    ypushedmeasi deand
    punchedMalcbuthedodgedlaughing.
    “
    Odi
    rel
    eengnemonna?
    ”
    “
    Icanexpl
    ain.
    ”
    “
    Waswabaomae.
    ”
    Mal
    claughedev
    enhar
    der
    .“Papaweh,
    ret
    sa…”
    “
    Iam notli
    steni
    ngtoanyt
    hing.Si
    mpl
    e
    i
    nst
    ructi
    on,odirel
    emasepahela.
    ”
    Mal
    cst
    eppedbackasOt
    engadv
    ancedt
    ohi
    m.
    “
    Idi
    dbutdi
    ff
    erent
    ly.
    ”
    Otengl
    ookedathi
    ssweat
    pant
    s.“
    Tlakawano,
    I
    wanttosee.
    ”
    Malclookedathimlaughi
    ngthent heybot
    h
    wal
    kedi nsi
    dethehousewhileIstoodther
    e
    cur
    iouslywonderi
    ngwhattheywer eonabout
    .
    Kyr
    awal kedoutminutesl
    ateryawning.
    “
    Youar
    eal
    readygoi
    ng?
    ”
    ‘
    Yesbaby
    …”
    “
    Ili
    key
    ourcr
    opt
    op.
    ”
    “
    Iknow,
    Ili
    kei
    ttoo.Youguy
    sbegoodr
    ight
    ?”
    “
    Mal
    cisbackf
    orev
    er?
    ”
    “
    Nobuthewil
    lbestay
    ingwi
    thusf
    orawhi
    l
    e
    wor
    kingwi
    thdaddy
    .”
    Al
    anast
    eppedout
    .“Iwantt
    ogowi
    thy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Nott
    hist
    imear
    oudbaby
    ,nextt
    ime.
    ”
    Kyrasmi
    led.“
    Iknowwher
    eIwantt
    ogot
    his
    ti
    mearound.”
    “
    Wewi
    l
    ldoi
    tli
    keweal
    way
    sdoKy
    .”
    Otengwalkedoutandpi
    ckedhisgirl
    stogether
    atthesametimewhilet
    heylaughed.Heplaced
    them down.“
    Youguysareheavy.”
    “
    Iwanttostar
    tgoi
    ngt
    othegy
    m,hav
    emy
    muscl
    estoned.
    ”
    Ot
    englookedatKy
    rawi
    thaf
    rown.“
    Hav
    eyour
    what
    ?”
    “
    Mymuscl
    est
    onedl
    i
    kemommy
    ’s.
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Wher
    eisOt
    sil
    e?”
    Mal
    cwal
    kedoutwi
    thOt
    sil
    eonshoul
    derwhi
    l
    e
    hescr
    eamedl
    aughi
    ng.
    “
    Lat
    lagomomobi
    nni
    ng!
    ”
    It
    urnedt
    oOt
    eng.“
    Babeno…”
    Malcol
    m wal
    kedwi
    thhi
    mtot
    hebi
    n.“
    Mal
    c,
    br
    ingmyson!”
    Theyal
    ll
    aughedasMal
    cthr
    ewhi
    mint
    hebi
    n.
    Otsi
    l
    ejumpedout.
    “
    Papa,
    that
    ’snotni
    ce!
    ”
    “
    Likewheny outhr
    ewAlana’
    stoy
    sint
    hebin
    y
    ester
    day ,
    thatwasnotni
    cetoomyboy.Dothe
    r
    ightt
    hing.
    ”
    Hesi
    ghed.“
    Iam sor
    ryAl
    ana.
    ”
    “
    Apol
    ogyaccept
    ed.
    ”
    Otengsmi
    led.“
    Good.Wear
    eleav
    ingnow,
    Mal
    c?
    You’v
    egotthi
    sri
    ght
    ?”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    Theyf
    istbumpedt
    henhehuggedme.“
    Bye
    mama.
    ”
    “
    Bye.By
    eguy
    s.”
    Wegotinthecarthenhestart
    edtheengi
    neand
    r
    eversedanddrov
    eaway .Hestoppedbya
    f
    il
    li
    ngstati
    onandfil
    ledupthetank.
    “
    Wantany
    thi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    No.
    ”
    Heconnectedhisphonetothecar
    ’sBluet
    oot
    h
    speaker
    .MichaelBol
    tonfi
    ll
    edthecarashe
    droveawaywhilesi
    ngingal
    ong.
    Tal
    kaboutl
    ove,
    tal
    kaboutt
    rust
    Tal
    ki
    n’‘
    aboutf
    orev
    er,
    baby
    Wheny
    ou’
    ret
    alki
    n’‘
    boutus
    Igi
    vey
    oumywor
    d,st
    ickt
    omyguns
    Bel
    i
    eveme,
    whenIt
    ell
    you,
    baby
    Thatwe’
    vej
    ustbegun
    Youdon’
    tunder
    stand,
    no
    Thef
    ull
    int
    entofmypl
    an

    Il
    ookedathi
    m andsmi
    l
    edsi
    ngi
    ngt
    oowhi
    l
    ehe
    dr
    ove.

    Baby
    ,Iwannabesoul
    prov
    ider
    ,yeah
    Baby
    ,Iwannast
    ayt
    hatwayf
    ort
    hel
    ongestt
    ime
    Baby
    ,Iwannabesoul
    prov
    ider
    Justsayy
    ou’
    l
    lletmeand,
    dar
    li
    n’
    ,Iwi
    l
    l,Iwi
    l
    l
    yeah

    *
    **

    Latert
    hatmor ni
    ng,
    Lebothawalkedwithher
    daughteri
    ntheamusementpar kinashort
    summerdr essandabigsunhatwhilehol
    ding
    herphone.Shesmiledl
    ookingatall
    theri
    des,
    t
    hiswasdef
    ini
    tel
    ysomet
    hingext
    raor
    dinar
    y.
    “
    Mama,
    Iwantt
    ogetont
    hewat
    ersl
    i
    de.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Lebothawal
    kedwit
    hherdaughtertothe
    i
    nstruct
    orst
    andi
    ngbythewatersli
    de.
    “
    Hi,
    mydaught
    erwant
    stogetont
    hat
    .”
    “
    Howol
    disshe?
    ”
    “
    5year
    sol
    dint
    hreemont
    hs.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    cansheswi
    m?”
    “
    Yesshecan.
    ”
    “
    Great
    ,comel
    ove…”
    Shetookoutherphonesteppingbackandgot
    readyt
    otakeav i
    deo.Theinstruct
    orgotatthe
    topwit
    hherdaughterandplacedheront he
    sli
    de.
    Theinst
    ruct
    ornudgedhert
    henshesli
    ddown
    thesl
    idescr
    eamingwit
    hherhandsup.Lebot
    ha
    y
    ell
    edcheer
    ingherdaught
    erupt
    il
    lshewenti
    n
    t
    hewaterwi
    thasplash.
    Natal
    i
    eswam t
    ohermot herwi
    thahugegr
    in.“
    I
    wanttodot
    hatagai
    n!”
    Lebothalaughed.“
    Ok,
    Iam goi
    ngt
    osi
    tther
    e,
    underthetree.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    eisdaddy
    ?”
    Lebothalookedbehindherandt
    urnedbackt
    o
    herdaughter.“Locki
    ngt
    hecarobvi
    ousl
    y.Go
    andslideagain.”
    Natal
    ierantowheretheotherki
    dshadqueued
    waiti
    ngforthei
    rtur
    ninherpinkswim sui
    t.
    LebothalookedupandlockedeyeswithLi
    na.
    “
    Aunt
    y…”
    Li
    nasmi
    l
    ed.“
    Hey
    ,ohmyGod!
    ”
    Lebot
    hal
    aughed.“
    Ngng,
    obat
    lagont
    umul
    a.”
    Li
    nashookherheadst
    ari
    ngatherwith
    amusement
    .“Youaresobeaut
    if
    ul.Andgr
    own,
    wher
    ewer
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Around.
    ”
    Li
    nahuggedher
    .“Bat
    hongy
    ouaresogrown,
    howol
    dar ey
    ounow?30?Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evethi
    s.”
    “
    Iam not30aunt
    ybutal
    mostt
    her
    e.Wher
    eis
    Hope?”
    “Shewenttothesl
    ide.
    ”Linalookedather
    emeral
    dring.“
    Congrat
    ulati
    ons.”
    “
    Babe,
    dot
    heyal
    l
    owdr
    inksi
    nsi
    deher
    e?”
    Linal
    ookedbehi
    ndLebot
    haandswal
    l
    owed.
    “Tan…”
    Tansmiledputt
    inghisar
    m aroundLebot
    ha.
    “Hey
    ,fancyseei
    ngy ouhere.
    ”
    Shef
    orcedasmi
    l
    e.“
    Ibr
    oughtmydaught
    er.
    ”
    “
    Ohni
    ce.
    ”
    “
    Byeaunt
    y.”
    “
    ByeLebot
    ha.
    ”
    Lebothaturnedandwalkedtoat r
    eethent ook
    outthesmal lthr
    owshehadt henspr
    eadi ton
    thegreenlawn.Theybothsatdownwi t
    h
    Lebothaleaningonherhusband.Tankissedher.
    “
    Wher
    eNat
    ty?
    ”
    Shepoi
    ntedatt
    hesl
    i
    de.“
    Ther
    e.”
    Het
    ookouthi
    sphoneandt
    ookav
    ideowi
    tha
    smi
    l
    e.

    *
    **

    MeanwhileLi
    nawat chedthecouplewit
    hteary
    eyeswonderi
    ngj usthowtheywerehappyafter
    whattheyputherthrough.Herphonevi
    brat
    ed
    fr
    om herpocket.Shetookitoutandanswered.
    “
    Lonas.
    ”
    “
    Hey
    ,ar
    eyouhome?
    ”
    “
    No.It
    ookHopet
    otheamusementpar
    k.”
    “
    Oh,Ithoughtwewoul
    dspendt
    heSat
    urday
    t
    ogether.
    ”
    “
    Doy
    ouknowTanmar
    ri
    edLebot
    ha?
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Yes,
    theyar
    emar
    ri
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Wow!
    ”
    “Ican’
    tbel
    i
    evet
    heyar
    ehappyaf
    terwhatt
    hey
    didtome.”
    “
    Lif
    egoesonLi
    na.
    ”
    “
    Lebothastol
    emyhusband,
    shedest
    roy
    ed
    marr
    iage!
    ”
    “
    Justl
    etherbe.
    ”
    “Shedoesn’
    tdeser
    vet
    obehappyaf
    terwhat
    shedidtome.”
    “Li
    na,j
    ustl
    eti
    tgo.Youhav
    emovedont oo.
    Don’tl
    ett
    hepastt
    akecont
    rol
    ofyourl
    i
    fe.”
    “Ihat
    ethi
    sgi
    rlsomuch,
    nkar
    enkamol
    owa,
    nxla!
    ”
    Lonaslaughed.“
    Remembert hatmanwhot ri
    ed
    bewit
    chinghiswifeaftershelefthimt henit
    backf
    ir
    edandhest art
    edbleedingt i
    ll
    hedi ed.
    Hehadwor mscomi ngfrom hi
    sdi ck,t
    hatwasa
    l
    esson.Bewitchi
    ngpeopl ealwayshav eawayof
    comingbackt obi
    tey ou.”
    “
    Iam justhurtLonas,
    howaretheyhappyaft
    er
    whattheydidtome.Lebothasnatchedaway
    myhappinessf r
    om me,shewasnotev en
    r
    emor sef
    ulandsheev enwentaheadand
    marr
    iedmyhusband. ”
    “Yourexhusband.Youshouldmoveon.By
    holdi
    nggr udgesyoucl
    oseyourowndoorsof
    happiness.YouhaveTheotoo,t
    hatwhi
    teman
    l
    ov esyouandy oushoul
    dfocusonthat
    .”
    “It
    reat
    edLebothal
    i
    kemydaught er
    .Shereal
    ly
    hurtme.Ican’
    twai
    tforhert
    ofeelwhatIf
    elt
    .
    HerkarmaisgoingtocomestrongIam tell
    i
    ng
    you.Sheisgoi
    ngtosufferj
    ustl
    ikeIsuf
    fered.
    Youdon’tbui
    ldyourhappi
    nessonpeople’
    s
    tear
    s.Someonewi l
    ldoherwhatshedidtome. ”

    *
    **

    Malcol
    m walkedoutoft
    hehousedr
    essedup
    andlookedathi
    ssist
    er.
    “
    Lockal
    ldoor
    sanddon’
    topenf
    orany
    oneKy
    .”
    “
    Ok,
    butwher
    ear
    eyougoi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Iam comi
    ng.Lockup.
    ”
    Heunlockedhiscaranddroveoutjustas17
    yearol
    dKefil
    wewal kedoutofthegatenext
    doorhol
    dingablackplasti
    cwithtr
    ash.Shewas
    sti
    ll
    short
    ,sheputtheplasti
    cinthebinbythe
    gatewhil
    eMalcroll
    eddownhi swindows.
    “
    Kef
    i!
    ”
    Shetur
    nedandsmiledwavi
    ng.Hemoti
    oned
    shewalkov
    er.Kef
    il
    welookedatt
    hegat
    ethen
    hur
    ri
    edover.
    “
    Hi…”
    “
    Kyr
    a’sbr
    other
    .”
    “
    Malc,
    kant
    ewhenwi
    l
    lyoust
    opcal
    l
    ingme
    t
    hat
    ?”
    Shesmi
    l
    edshy
    ly.“
    Dumel
    ang.
    ”
    “
    Howi
    sschool
    ?”
    “
    School
    isf
    ine.
    ”
    “
    Nexty
    earf
    orm 5?
    ”
    “
    Eer
    ra.
    ”
    Helookedathershor thai
    rgoingt
    oher
    beauti
    fulface.“I
    fyouwanthelpwit
    hreadi
    ng,
    I
    am there.Iam doingmyint
    ernshi
    psoIwil
    lbe
    hereful
    l t
    ime.”
    “
    Eer
    ra.
    ”
    Shelookedbackatt
    hegateashergrandmother
    scr
    eamedhernamef rom i
    nsi
    dethehouse.
    “
    Ihav
    etogo.
    ”
    “
    Comebyl
    ater
    .”
    “
    Nkukuwi
    l
    l-“
    “Tel
    lheryouarehelpingKyrareadandt
    hather
    mothersaidshewillpayyouforit
    .Youarea
    smartgir
    l.Iwi
    llseeyoulaterr
    ight?
    ”
    Shel
    ookedi
    nhi
    sey
    es.“
    Eer
    ra.
    ”
    “
    Good,
    youcango.
    ”
    Shehur
    ri
    edtot
    hehouset
    henMal
    csmi
    l
    ed
    dri
    vi
    ngaway
    .

    *
    **

    Hour
    slat
    er,
    Otengl
    edmeinsi
    deourhotel
    room.
    Iwal
    kedi
    nwi t
    hasmil
    eandwalkedov
    ertothe
    bal
    cony
    .
    “
    Thebeaut
    yher
    enev
    erget
    sol
    d.”
    Heki
    ssedme.“
    Takeashowerwhi
    l
    eIsor
    touta
    f
    ewthings.
    ”
    “Ok,thanky
    ouf orbri
    ngi
    ngmeher
    e.Il
    ovei
    t,t
    he
    serenit
    yneverget’
    sold.
    ”
    “
    Yeah,
    byt
    heway
    ,nophonesher
    e,deal
    ?”
    “
    Siry
    essi
    r!
    ”
    Helaughedwal
    ki
    ngout.Ir
    eachedformyphone
    andsnappedacoupl
    eofphotosofthebeaut
    if
    ul
    vi
    ew.

    *
    **

    Ot
    engdi
    aledanumberwal
    ki
    ngt
    ohi
    scar
    .
    “
    Hey
    ,Iam sor
    ryf
    orcal
    l
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Sincewhendoy
    oucal
    lmeonmyphoneDudu?
    Wast
    hatt
    heagr
    eement
    ?”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry,
    it’
    sanemer
    gency
    .”
    “
    Idon’tcarewhati
    tis,i
    tmi
    ghtbey oudyi
    ngor
    t
    hewor l
    dendingandIwouldn’
    tcare.Di
    dn’
    twe
    t
    alkaboutthi
    s?Obat l
    agontenaakereor
    maybey ouareget
    ti
    ngconf
    used?”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry,
    Iknowyouarewit
    hy ourwi
    febut
    i
    t’
    sanemergencyOt
    ti
    e.Ineedyou.”
    “Nomat terwhattheemer gencymaybe, whenI
    am withmywi f
    e,nothi
    ngmat ter
    s.Iwil
    ldeal
    wit
    hwhat ev
    eritiswhenIcomet her
    eandt hi
    s
    bet
    terbet helastti
    met hi
    shappens.
    Understood.”
    Shesnif
    fed.“
    Ireal
    lyneedy
    ouher
    ewi
    thme,
    it’
    s
    anurgentmatter
    .”
    “Iam notgoi
    ngt orepeatmysel
    f.Mywi
    fei
    sfi
    rst
    prior
    it
    y,Iam begi
    nningtogetannoy
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry,
    Iunder
    stand.Iwi
    l
    lseey
    ouwhen
    y
    oucome.I
    twi
    l
    lnev
    erhappenagai
    n.”
    Hehungupanddeletedthecall
    bef
    oregr
    abbing
    ashoppi
    ngbagfrom thebootandt
    aki
    ngitback
    i
    nsi
    dethehotel
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #138

    Bi
    naf i
    xedherdoekwalki
    ngwher
    eherin-
    laws
    were.Hermotheri
    n-l
    awsmil
    edwatchi
    ngher
    wal
    kov er.
    “
    Mama…”
    “
    ThankGody
    ouar
    eher
    e,l
    et’
    sgoandsi
    tther
    e.”
    Herf
    atheri
    n-l
    aw’
    ssi
    sterl
    ookedatt
    hem.
    “Wherear
    eyout
    akingherMmagweLet
    so?She
    hastohel
    p,t
    henewlywedcoupl
    ear
    ealmost
    her
    e.”
    “Bi
    nahasbeenwor ki
    ngeversincemorni
    ng,she
    hasbat hed,
    lett
    heotherl
    adiesdo,gapeLet
    so
    doesn’tli
    keitwhenwemakehi swifeworkso
    hard.Comedaught er
    …”
    Theywalkedawayl
    aughi
    ng.Hermot
    herin-
    law
    shookherheadast
    heysatdownint
    hetent.
    “
    Theyl
    i
    keusi
    ngpeopl
    e.Iwon’
    tlett
    hem dot
    hat
    t
    oyou.
    ”
    “
    That
    ’swhyIl
    ovey
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Youl
    ookbeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    Binalookedathermotherin-
    lawwit
    ht he
    perf
    ectfacebeatandcurledweavethatwas
    showingthroughherdoek.
    “
    Yout
    oo.
    ”
    “
    Ican’
    twai
    tfort
    hist
    obeov
    eranddonewi
    th.I
    don’
    tli
    keal
    lthesepeopl
    eandIknowt
    heyhat
    e
    metoo.”
    “
    Don’
    tmi
    ndt
    hem.
    ”
    “Idon’
    t,Ineverdi
    d.IknowIcamei nt
    othis
    famil
    yallformyhusband.Ther estcangot o
    hell
    .Idon’tevenf
    ightthem becausetheyare
    notworthit.”
    Ul
    ulat
    ionsmadet
    hem t
    urn.“
    Theyar
    eher
    e.”
    Binanoddedanswer
    ingherr
    ingi
    ngphone.
    “Babe…”
    “
    Okae?
    ”
    “
    Int
    het
    ent
    .”
    “
    Ihopet
    heyar
    enotmaki
    ngy
    ouwor
    k.”
    “
    Ngng,
    kenal
    emot
    her
    s.”
    Feel
    inghi
    seyesonher
    ,Bi
    natur
    nedlocki
    ng
    eyeswit
    hhim.Let
    sosmil
    edwal
    kingover
    .
    “
    Youl
    ookbeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    Bi
    nasmi
    l
    edl
    ooki
    ngathi
    m.“
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    egoi
    ngt
    ost
    eal
    themai
    nli
    ght
    .”
    Heapproachedthem hangi
    ngupt
    henki
    ssed
    hi
    swife.“
    Hey …”
    “
    Okaer
    rago?
    ”
    Let
    solookedathi
    smot her
    .“Outsi
    de,
    hei
    s
    comingi
    n.Youlookbeauti
    ful
    .”
    Shest
    oodup.“
    Letmyhusbandt
    ell
    met
    hat
    .”
    Letsolaughedwatchi
    nghi smotherwal
    kaway
    thenhekissedBi
    naagai njustasoneofthe
    cousinwalkedoverpushingherhugebump.
    “
    Let
    so…”
    “
    Hi.
    ”
    “
    Mamai
    scal
    l
    ingy
    ouBi
    na.
    ”
    Let
    sof
    rowned.“
    Todowhat
    ?”
    “
    Tocomeandhel
    pdi
    shi
    ngf
    orpeopl
    e.”
    “
    Aret
    her
    enopeopl
    etodot
    hat
    ?”
    “
    Babe,
    it’
    sfi
    ne.
    ”
    “I
    t’
    snotfi
    ne.Ar
    ether
    enopeopl
    etodot
    hat
    Sonti
    ?”
    “Idon’
    tknow,
    Ican’
    tdoi
    tbecauseofmy
    condit
    ion.
    ”
    “
    Mywi
    fei
    snotdoi
    ngt
    hat
    .”
    “
    Let
    so,
    Iwi
    l
    ldoi
    t,i
    t’
    sfi
    ne.
    ”
    Let
    o’sbrot
    herwalkedov
    ersmi
    l
    ingatBi
    na.“
    I
    am onl
    yseeingy
    ou. ”
    Bi
    nal
    aughedast
    heyhugged.“
    Hey
    …”
    Thabi
    leshowedupbehi
    ndherhusband.“
    Hey
    guys.
    .”
    Binat
    ookThabil
    e’shand.“
    Let
    ’sgo,
    by eRichi
    e,
    babe,
    Iwil
    ltextwhenIneedyoutorescueme.”
    Thetwol
    adi
    eswalkedouti
    nthei
    rbeaut
    if
    ul
    ger
    manpri
    ntdr
    essesandlongheel
    s.
    “
    Wher
    ear
    ewegoi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Todi
    sh.
    ”
    “
    Okaemot
    her
    s?”
    “
    Shewentt
    oherhusband.
    ”
    Thabi
    l
    elaughed.“
    Thatwomanj
    ustl
    ovesher
    man.”
    “
    Tel
    lmeabouti
    t.
    ”
    Thabil
    eandBinapausedast henewl ywed
    coupl
    edancedt hei
    rwayinsidet
    het ent.Bi
    na’
    s
    phonevibr
    ated.Sheswipedthescreenand
    openedamessagef rom hermotherin-
    law.
    Mot
    her
    s:Ot
    sil
    emol
    oi(
    Thewi
    tchhascome)
    Bi
    namadeThabi
    l
    ereadt
    hent
    heybot
    hlaughed.
    “Let
    ’sgoanddishbefor
    eshepassesby
    shouti
    ng.Iwonderhowmot her
    ssurvi
    vedwit
    h
    suchamot heri
    n-l
    awbecauseIknowifitwer
    e
    me,Iwouldhavelongputherinherpl
    ace.
    ”
    Thabi
    lel
    aughedevnmor
    e.“
    Thatol
    dwoman
    shoul
    djustdi
    eai
    i.
    ”
    Bi
    nalookedupandsi
    ghedst
    ari
    ngatOl
    eri
    le
    whoseemedtobemakingherwayt
    othem.
    Ol
    eri
    l
    esmi l
    ed.
    “
    Hi,
    wher
    eisLet
    so?
    ”
    “
    Hi,
    howcanIhel
    pyou?
    ”
    “Iwanttospeakt
    omybabydaddy
    ,Ihav
    e
    broughttheki
    ds.
    ”
    Binasmil
    edcalmly.“
    Kanammey oushouldbe
    tel
    li
    ngmebecauseIt akecareofthoseki
    ds
    whenevertheyar
    ewiththeirf
    ather.
    ”
    “So?Whoaskedy ou?Iwanttospeakt
    omy
    babydaddy
    ,ifyouwon’ttel
    lmewherehei
    s,I
    will
    goandlookforhim mysel
    f.
    ”
    “That’
    swhatyoushouldhav edoneinthef i
    rst
    place,
    mathataorataatt
    ent i
    on.Idon’
    tev en
    knowwhat’shardaboutaccept i
    ngthatheis
    gone.Year
    slatery
    ouar estil
    lbehavi
    ngl i
    kethi
    s
    andIknowy ouhavebeeni nfl
    uenci
    ngt hekids
    tohatemebutbecauset heyaresweetsoul s,
    t
    hatwon’thappen.Ipi
    tyy
    ouhonest
    ly.
    ”Bi
    na
    f
    ixedhertsál
    e.
    Thabi
    lesmil
    ed.“
    Wai
    stedi
    babymamake
    mathata.
    ”
    Theytwoladi
    eswal
    kedawayl
    aughi
    ngl
    eav
    ing
    Oler
    il
    erol
    l
    ingherey
    es.

    *
    **

    Malcol
    m st
    oppedt
    hecari
    nfr
    ontofagateand
    l
    ookedatKaonewhowassmil
    ingbackathi
    m.
    “
    Thanky
    ouf
    oral
    lyouhav
    edonef
    ormet
    oday
    .”
    “
    It
    ’sok.
    ”
    Shelookedathernewphonej ustashercousi
    n
    walkedoutofhergate.Malcol
    m steppedout
    andtookherbagf r
    om thebootwhileKaone
    huggedhercousin.
    “
    Dumel
    ang…”
    ThecousinlookedatMalcandsmi
    l
    ed.
    “Dumelang.Kaone,hei
    sthemanwhohasbeen
    helpi
    ngyou?”
    “
    Yes,
    hei
    sTi
    no’
    sbr
    other
    ’sson.
    ”
    “
    Abedi
    l
    e?Idi
    dn’
    tknowhehadsuchabi
    gson.
    ”
    Mal
    csmi
    l
    ed.“
    Fir
    stbor
    n.”
    “
    Wow,
    noi
    cet
    omeety
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Likewi
    se.
    ”
    Thecousintookt
    hebaginsi
    det
    hegat
    ewhi
    l
    e
    KaonelookedatMal
    c."
    By e.
    ”
    “
    Ihopey
    ougett
    hej
    ob.
    ”
    “
    Met
    oo.Thanks.
    ”
    Hehuggedher .Kaone’
    sheartski
    ppedasshe
    i
    nhal
    edhi sintoxicat
    ingcol
    ognefeel
    ingt
    hose
    musclesaroundher .Hewassot al
    landbuff
    ed,
    heeasil
    ybur i
    edheri nhi
    sarms.Sheputher
    l
    egstoget
    herf
    eel
    i
    nghercl
    i
    tthr
    ob.Mal
    c
    st
    eppedback.
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lcal
    lyou.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Hejumpedbackinhi
    scaranddrov
    eawaywhil
    e
    shewaved.Mal
    colm’
    sphonerang,
    hel
    ookedat
    thecal
    l
    erIDandanswer
    ed.
    “
    Babe…”
    “
    Hey
    ,youdi
    dn’
    tcal
    l
    .”
    “
    Iam t
    ir
    ed.Thel
    ongdr
    ivedr
    ainedme.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok,
    Iunder
    stand.Ial
    readymi
    ssy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Imi
    ssy
    out
    oo.
    ”
    Helookedatthepassengerseatcat
    chi
    ngsi
    ght
    ofKaone’
    sjacket
    .
    “
    Can’
    tIvi
    sity
    ou?Yousai
    dyouaregoingt
    o
    moveoutf
    rom y
    ourpar
    ent’
    shouse.
    ”
    “
    Yeahbutnotnow.
    ”
    “
    Can’
    tIj
    ustv
    isi
    t?”
    “No!Youjustcan’
    tvi
    sitI
    tumel
    eng.Iwi
    l
    lmakea
    planandcomeandseey out
    here.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Iam dr
    ivi
    ng,
    Iwi
    l
    ltal
    ktoy
    ou.
    ”
    Hehungupasshebegunt osaysomet hi
    ng.A
    whi
    lel
    aterhepar
    kedt hecarandknockedon
    t
    hedoor.Kyr
    aunlockedlet
    ti
    nghimin.
    “Younev
    ersai
    dyouwi
    l
    lbegonef
    ort
    hewhol
    e
    day.
    ”
    “
    Sorr
    ykiddo.Igothel
    dup,
    ever
    ythi
    ngok
    t
    hough?
    ”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    Hewalkedi
    nsi
    det
    hesi
    tt
    ingr
    oom andst
    aredat
    Kef
    il
    we.
    “Kef
    icame,shehel
    pedmewi
    thal
    lmyhol
    i
    day
    homework.
    ”
    Malclookedatherandsmi l
    ed.Shel ooked
    bett
    erwithdr
    esses, sheal
    waysdi d.Shewas
    sti
    ll
    shy,hadalwaysbeenshysi ncethefir
    st
    ti
    mehesawher ,
    howol dwasshe…13?
    Somewher et
    here.Hi sphonerangf r
    om his
    handsthenhewal kedtotheki
    tchenanswer i
    ng.
    “
    Papa…”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Home.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    ewer
    eyou?Ical
    l
    edt
    hehousephone.
    ”
    “
    Lastni
    ghtIcamewi t
    hTsot l
    he’
    ssisterwhogot
    r
    obbedafterIdroppedheroffatalodgesoI
    wentt
    ohel phergetaphoneandaf ewthings
    t
    hendroppedherof fathercousi
    n’
    shouse. ”
    “
    Tsot
    lhe,
    Tino’
    swi
    fe?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Ok.MmagweRea’
    sgranddaught
    eranswer
    ed
    t
    hephone,
    Kef
    il
    we.Shesai
    dy ousai
    dshe
    shoul
    dcomeov
    erandhel
    pKy
    rawi
    thherschool
    work.
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Mal
    col
    m,whatdi
    dIsayaboutt
    hatgi
    rl
    ?”
    “
    Shei
    sjusthel
    pingKy
    ra.
    ”
    “
    Iknowyouwanther,It
    oldy
    out
    ostayaway
    f
    rom t
    hatgi
    rl
    .Youknowhowhergr
    andmother
    i
    s.”
    “
    Papa-
    “
    “Youwill
    got ojai
    l f
    ordefi
    lementandnoonewi l
    l
    saveyoufrom that,notevenme.Youknowhow
    thel
    awl i
    kessuchcases, noonewi l
    ll
    ist
    ento
    anyt
    hing,youwillgotojailandyearswil
    lbe
    wastedwhi l
    eyouser veyoursentence.I
    sthat
    whatyouwant ?”
    “
    No.
    ”
    “
    Thentel
    lthatgi
    rlt
    ogohomenow.Stayaway
    f
    rom her
    .Thereareal
    otofgi
    rl
    soutt
    here,
    go
    f
    ort
    hem nother
    .”
    “
    WhatIwantonl
    yher
    ?Whati
    fIl
    oveher
    ?”
    Otengsighed.“Mal clistent ome, youar ea
    grownmannow.Iam goi ngt obef rankwi t
    h
    you.Kefilweisyourgat et oj ai
    l.Shei sonlyakid,
    sheisbel ow18andi fyouwantt oseehow
    seri
    ousIam, goonandr unaf terher .Her
    gradmot herwon’thesi t
    atesendi ngy outojail
    .I
    am lookingoutfory ou.Ify oulovehert hat
    mucht henwai tti
    llshei sl egal,youwi l
    lhavemy
    ful
    lblessingsaft
    ert hat.Iwon’ tevenbot heryou.
    Sheisagoodgi r
    l,Iknowbutgi vehert i
    met o
    grow.Rightnowshei sadangerzone. ”
    “
    Iunder
    stand.Ij
    ustwant
    edt
    otal
    ktoher
    .”
    “
    Iknow,sendherbackhome.Iwantabett
    er
    f
    utur
    eforyou.Youcan’
    thaveacri
    minalr
    ecor
    d
    l
    i
    kesomeofus. ”
    “Kanammethatcr
    imi
    nalrecor
    disat
    urnont
    o
    gir
    ls,
    themomentt
    heyknowwhomyf at
    heri
    s,
    t
    heycomer
    unni
    ng.
    ”
    Otenglaughed.“Thatmaybef unandallbut
    havi
    ngacr iminalr
    ecordpersonal
    lyj
    ustblocks
    opport
    uniti
    es.Noonewant stowor kwit
    hanex
    cri
    minal.Iwantthebestforyou.
    ”
    “
    Iam sendi
    ngherhome.
    ”
    “
    Doi
    tnow.
    ”
    “
    Eerr
    ra.
    ”
    “
    Keser
    ious.
    ”
    Malclaughed.“
    Aowpapa,
    lennakeser
    ious
    kana.
    ”
    “
    Iknowbusy
    bodywi
    l
    ltel
    lme.Mydaught
    eri
    s
    l
    oyal
    ,”
    “
    Kef
    iisgoi
    nghome.Ri
    ghtnow.
    ”
    Otenghungupt henMalcopenedt hef
    ri
    dgeand
    tookoutbeerfr
    om thefr
    idge.Heopenedit
    goingt
    othesitt
    ingroom andlookedatKef
    i
    whowasl aughi
    ngwi t
    hKy r
    a.
    “
    Kef
    i,comeher
    e.”
    Hewalkedtohi
    sbedr
    oom.Reluctant
    ly,
    Kef
    il
    we
    sl
    owlyfol
    l
    owedaft
    erhim.Shestoodbythe
    opendoor.
    “
    Rra?
    ”
    Malcol
    mt ur
    nedt
    oher
    .“Comei
    n,Igoty
    ou
    somethi
    ng.”
    Shetookaf ewstepsi
    n.Malcputdownhisbeer
    andputtheshoppingbagshehadbroughton
    thebedthenwalkedtothedoorandcl
    osedit
    .
    Kefiswal
    lowedhardstari
    ngathi
    m.
    “
    Igoty
    ousomecl
    othes.Takeal
    ook.
    ”
    Kefiwalkedtotheshoppingbagsandt ookout
    thebeautif
    ulcl
    othes.Shet ookouttheheel
    s
    withasmi l
    e.Exci
    tementr ushedthr
    oughheras
    shepickedallt
    heclothes,ithadbeenawhile
    sinceshegotnewcl othesf r
    om t
    heshops,not
    secondhandcl ot
    hes.
    “Youcant r
    ythem on,
    Iwasj
    ustguessi
    ngy
    our
    size.Iwon’
    tlook.
    ”
    Het ur
    nedtothewal l
    sippinghisbeer.Kefi
    l
    ookedathimt henquicklytookoffherdress
    remaini
    ngwithwor noutpantyandputont he
    blackbodyhuggingshimmer ingdress.I
    t
    huggedhercurves.Malcturnedandl ookedat
    her.
    “
    Wow!Thatf
    itper
    fect
    ly.
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Doy
    oul
    i
    kei
    t?”
    Shenodded.
    Mal
    cputhisbeerdownt
    henwal
    kedov
    er.“
    You
    l
    ookbeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Malclookedatheri
    nvi
    ti
    ngli
    pswonderi
    nghow
    i
    tfel
    tkissi
    ngherforr
    eal,
    notinhi
    simagi
    nat
    ion.
    Hetil
    tedherchi
    nandleanedover
    .Heswepther
    l
    ipswi t
    hher skissi
    ngher,herlipswer esoftjust
    l
    ikehehadi maginedandf uck!Thiswasf ar
    muchbet t
    erthatwhatheal way senvisi
    oned.
    Sheputhert inyhandsonhi schestwhi lethey
    kissed.Malcpickedherupandgent l
    yplaced
    heront hebedsl i
    dinghishandi nsideherpanty.
    Lostinthemomentsher anherhandsonhi s
    biceps.Malcgent l
    yrubbedhercl itonont opof
    herpant y
    .Shemoanedsof tlyholdinghi
    shand.
    “
    Mal
    com…”
    “
    Iam notgoi
    ngt
    odoany
    thi
    ngbabe,
    rel
    ax.
    ”
    “Idon’
    twantababy
    ,nkukuwi
    l
    lki
    l
    lme.Shewi
    l
    l
    kickmeout.
    ”
    “Kef
    i,Isai
    dIam notgoi
    ngtodoany
    thi
    ng,
    letmy
    handgoandr emainst
    il
    l.
    ”
    Sheswallowedashespokewi t
    hthatdeep
    voi
    cethenslowlyletgo.Malcol
    m pull
    edouther
    pant
    ies.Kefi
    l
    we’shear tbegunpoundi
    ngso
    muchitcouldjustcrackaholeonherchest.He
    openedherl egsst ari
    ngathersmoot hlyshav ed
    i
    nnocence.Hi sphonest artedr i
    nging,he
    i
    gnoredi tbur yi
    nghisheadbet weenherl egs.
    Kediraisedherheadi nshockandl ookedathi m
    moani ngast hesweetsensat iontookov erher.
    Shethr ewherheadbackmomet slatercur l
    ing
    hertoesast hepleasuresetheronf i
    re.She
    cl
    osedhert highsscreami ngatt he
    unexplainablepleasuregushi ngal l overhis
    mout hwhi l
    epul l
    ingtheduv et.Mal colm oull
    ed
    herthighsapar tthentookof fhist-shirtand
    wipedhi sfacebef orekissingher .
    “
    Youcant
    rytherestofyourclot
    hes,
    Ial
    sogot
    y
    ousomenicepanti
    es.Trythem on.
    ”
    Kefibr
    eat
    hedheav
    il
    yashepickedhi
    sri
    ngi
    ng
    phoneandhi
    sbeerwalki
    ngout.
    “
    Papa.
    .”
    “
    Oil
    eKef
    il
    we?
    ”
    “
    Eer
    ra.
    ”
    “
    Whywer
    eyounotanswer
    ingy
    ourphone.
    ”
    “
    Iwasout
    side.
    ”
    “
    Doi
    ngwhat
    ?”
    “
    Washi
    ngmycar
    .”
    “
    Whyam If
    indi
    ngi
    thar
    dtobel
    i
    evey
    ou?
    ”
    Mal
    cchuckl
    ed.“
    Aowpapa,
    Kef
    iisgone.
    ”
    “
    Letmet
    alkt
    oKy
    ra.
    ”
    Malcol
    m gaveKyr
    athephonehandi
    nghera
    P20note.Shet
    ookthephoneandmoney.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Sweet
    y,i
    sKef
    igone?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    ousur
    e?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Shehandedt
    hephoneback.

    *
    **

    Ot
    engputawayhi
    sphoneandwalkedov
    erto
    me.Het
    ookoffmysunhatandki
    ssedme.
    “
    Let
    ’sswi
    m.”
    “
    Iam st
    il
    lenj
    oyi
    ngt
    hesun.
    ”
    “
    Come…”
    Hepickedmeupandl
    ower
    edbot
    hofusi
    nthe
    cool
    wat er
    .
    “
    Aret
    heki
    dsok?
    ”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    Iputmyhandsaroundhi
    swai
    stsmi
    l
    ing.“
    Ilov
    e
    i
    twhenit
    ’sjustus.
    ”
    Hekissedme.“
    Met
    oobabe.Iwantt
    otel
    lyou
    something.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “Youaregoingtogetangr
    yandIknowI
    shoul
    dn’thavedonewhatIdi
    d.”
    Ist
    oppedsmi
    l
    ing.“
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngonOt
    eng?
    ”
    “
    RememberDudu?
    ”
    “
    Who?
    ”
    “
    Duduet
    sang?Thel
    astmai
    dmyf
    atherhad.
    ”
    Ilookedathi
    m wi
    thapoundi
    nghear
    t.“
    Whatdi
    d
    youdo? ”
    Hel
    ookedi
    nmyey
    esandswal
    l
    owedhar
    d.
    “
    Whatdi
    dyoudoOt
    eng?
    ”
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #139

    Hepul
    l
    edmet
    othecor
    neroft
    hepool
    cor
    ner
    ing
    me.
    “
    WhenIt oldhershecouldleav
    ebecauseIknew
    whatwasgoi ngon,shetol
    dmet hathermother
    wassick.Itol
    dyouthat.
    ”
    “
    Iknowt
    hat
    .”
    “
    Ihel
    pedpayhermot
    her
    ’shospi
    tal
    bil
    l
    s.”
    “
    Didn’
    thermot
    herhav
    eki
    dneyf
    ail
    ure?
    ”
    “
    Yes,
    andIpai
    dherhospi
    tal
    bil
    l
    s.”
    “Di
    dn’
    tweagr
    eethatwewoul
    dn’
    thav
    eanysor
    t
    ofcommuni
    cat
    ionwit
    hher
    ?”
    “Wedid,
    andIwentagaintt
    hatagr
    eement
    .I
    hel
    pedhermotherandIam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Whathappenedt
    hen?
    ”
    “
    Not
    hing.Ij
    ustpai
    dhermot
    her
    ’shospi
    tal
    bil
    l
    s.”
    “
    Ther
    eissomet
    hingy
    ouar
    enott
    ell
    i
    ngme.
    ”
    “ThecampIopenedt her
    e,shei
    smanagi
    ngit
    .
    Sheisrunni
    ngit,
    shehasadegreei
    nHospit
    ali
    ty
    andTourism management.
    ”
    “Youopenedt
    hatcamptwoyearsbackOt
    eng,
    shehasbeenrunni
    ngi
    tsi
    nce?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Hav
    eyoual
    sobeensl
    eepi
    ngwi
    thher
    ?”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Youhear
    dme!
    ”
    “
    Don’
    trai
    sey
    ourv
    oiceatme.
    ”
    Iscreamedevenl
    ouder
    .“Orwhat
    ?Whatar
    eyou
    goingtodotome?”
    “
    Iam notsl
    eepi
    ngwit
    hher,y
    ouaretheonl
    y
    womanIhavebeensl
    eepi
    ngwit
    hsincewe
    madet
    her
    elat
    ionshi
    pof
    fi
    cial
    backt
    hen.
    ”
    “Ishouldbel
    i
    evethat
    ?Youhavebeenlyi
    ngto
    me, yougotoShakaweforanent
    ir
    eweek
    somet i
    mesandyouwi l
    lbeal
    onewithher
    there!
    ”
    “
    Ihavenevercheat
    edony
    ou.Iswearonmy
    mother
    ’sgrav
    e.”
    Tearsfi
    lledmyey es.“WhyshouldIbel
    iev
    ethat
    Oteng?Youhav ebeenl y
    ingt ome.Godknows
    whatelsey ouarelyi
    ngtomeabout .Youpai
    d
    hermot her’
    sbil
    l
    sev enafterweagreedwe
    wouldst ayaway.Forhowl ongdi
    dthatgoon?”
    “Onlyay ear.Inevercameintocont actwithher
    ti
    llIopenedt hecampandshecamel ooki
    ngf or
    ajob.Shewasj ustli
    keanyot hercandidate,t
    he
    onlydiff
    erencebet weenherandot her
    candidatesisthatIknewher .Iam sor r
    yIpaid
    hermot her’sbil
    lsandkeptitawayf rom you.I
    reall
    ywant edtot el
    lyoubecauseIcoul dn’
    tjust
    wat chhermot herdiewhenIcouldhel pbutI
    knewy ouwoul dn’tli
    kei
    t.Iam sorryIhir
    edher
    withouttell
    ingy ou.Sheknowst hatIam a
    mar ri
    edman, Imadei tcl
    eartohersoshe
    doesn’thaveanyconf usedthoughts.Toav oi
    d
    crossingpat hswi thher
    ,shecommuni cat
    es
    withPaul notme.Wehadt hatagreement
    becauseIr espectourmar r
    iage.
    ”
    Il
    ookedinhissi
    ncereeyesf
    oramoment .“
    Ifi
    t
    wasinnocent
    ,whydidn’
    tyoujusttel
    lme.Why
    keepitf
    rom meifyouhavenothingtohi
    de.
    ”
    “
    Becausey
    ouwoul
    dn’
    tli
    kei
    t.
    ”
    Atearrandownmycheek.“ Idon’tknowwhat
    hurt
    sthemost ,t
    hef actthatwenowkeep
    thi
    ngsfrom eachother,thatthereareliesinthi
    s
    marri
    agenowort hef actthatIam f i
    ndingit
    hardtobeli
    eveyouandsomet hi
    ngi stell
    i
    ngme
    somethingelsehappenedbuty ouwon’ tsayit,
    youwillnev
    ersayitandIwi l
    lforeverwonder
    whatwashappeni ngbehi ndmyback.May be
    whathur
    tst
    hemostist
    hedisappoi
    ntment
    .”I
    wi
    pedawaymytearasanot
    herroll
    eddown.
    “Ihavenevercheatedonyou.Iknowy ouar
    e
    questi
    oningmyhonest yandfai
    thful
    nessbut
    you’v
    egott obeli
    eveme.”
    “Whatchoi cedoIhav eOteng?Ihav enothing
    buty oursi
    deoft hestor
    y.Iam notgoingt osay
    anythingont hi
    smat t
    erbecausedef i
    nitel
    ywhat
    Isayi snotconsider
    ed.Youwi ll
    doasy ou
    pleaseattheendoft heday .Iam gett
    ingcold.”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok.Pl
    easel
    etmego.Iam col
    d.”
    HeslowlymovedthenIswum out .Ipickedmy
    hatandtowelt
    henwal kedbackint hehotel
    .In
    ourroom,It
    ookadeepbr eat
    hbutat earsti
    ll
    wetmycheek.Thet houghtofhim cheati
    ng
    thr
    eatenedt
    odestroymybei ng.Hewal kedin
    andlookedatme.
    “
    IknowIdi
    sappoi
    ntedy
    ou,
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Ijustwanty
    out
    obehonestwi
    thme.
    ”
    “
    Iam notcheat
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Cal
    lhert
    hen.Puti
    tonl
    oudspeaker
    .”
    Hetookhi
    sphoneandswi
    tchedi
    ton.Il
    ooked
    athi
    m ashecal
    l
    edherput
    ti
    ngthephoneon
    l
    oudspeaker
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Yeah,
    canwet
    alk?
    ”
    “Oteng, Iam reall
    ysorryforcall
    ingy ou
    yesterday ,j
    ustthatmamapassedonandI
    j
    ust …y ouar eri
    ght,Iam beginningtoconf use
    thi
    ngs. ”Shesni ff
    edthenspokewi thashakey
    voiceal mostbr eaki
    ngdown.“ It’
    sjustthatyou
    aretheonl ypersonclosesttoaf ri
    endIhav ebut
    Ipromi sey ou,i
    twi l
    lneverhappenagai n,Iam
    thankful yougav emet hisjobandIwon’ tdo
    any t
    hingt ojeapodizethat.Iapologize.
    ”
    Ot
    engl
    ookedatme.“
    Iam sor
    ryabouty
    our
    mot
    her
    .”
    Shesnif
    fedbr
    eat
    hingheav
    il
    y.“
    Th-
    thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Shebrokedowncr
    y i
    ng.
    Ot
    enghungup.“
    See?
    ”
    Iswal
    l
    owed.“
    Iam goi
    ngt
    otakeashower
    .”
    Heputhi
    shandsonmywai
    st.“
    Iam r
    eal
    l
    y
    sor
    ry.
    ”
    Inodded.“Iam sorrytoo,
    thi
    sismyf amil
    y,Iwil
    l
    protecti
    twitheverythi
    ngIhave.Shehastogo.I
    am goingtoShakaweonMondayandIam
    goingtofir
    eher.Ifyougobackandt ryhel
    ping
    her,youwon’tl
    ikeitwhenIretali
    atei
    t.
    ”
    “
    What
    ’st
    hatsupposedt
    omean?
    ”
    “
    Exact
    lyt
    hat
    .Af
    teral
    l
    ,Il
    ear
    nfr
    om t
    hebest
    .”
    Hegl aredatme.“
    Idon’tl
    ikey
    ourtone.Ify
    ou
    arethinki
    ngofcheat
    ingonmewhenIhav e
    nevercheatedonyou,youwil
    ltel
    lGodwhat
    happenedbecauseheistheonlyoney ouwil
    lbe
    abl
    etot
    ell
    thenandIam ser
    ious.
    ”
    “Keepthreateningmeandl et’
    sseewherethat
    getsyou.Jailmay be,t
    hepolicewil
    lbesohappy
    torecei
    vey ou.Youwon’ tgetsoluckyt
    hist
    ime
    around,gapet helawlovespeopleli
    keyouand
    theyli
    kethem behi ndbars,
    rott
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Obat
    agont
    enaaker
    eEaz
    i?(
    youwantt
    opi
    ss
    meof
    .)
    ”
    “Andwhileyour oti
    njailf
    orthr
    eateningmyl i
    fe
    orforevenhur t
    ingme,Iwill
    gladl
    ymov eon.I
    am beautif
    ul,Iknowitandotherpeopleknowi t
    outther
    e.Iwi l
    lgetmarri
    edagainafterdivor
    cing
    yoursorryass.”
    “
    Eaziket
    agokgwi
    sadil
    otseokampama
    wai
    tse?Obat
    agol
    ela.
    ”
    “Tr
    yitandIam goi
    ngtorepor
    tyou.Iwi
    l
    lmake
    sur
    ey ouspendthi
    sweekendinj
    ail
    .”
    “Iwi
    ll
    giv
    eyousomet i
    met ocooldown.Thi
    sis
    notwhyIbr
    oughtushere.Youwanttoannoy
    mewitht
    hatr
    ott
    enmouthofyour
    sandIdon’
    t
    wantt
    oputmyhandsonyou.
    ”
    “Go,whatdi
    dIexpect?Itwasonlyamatterof
    ti
    met i
    l
    lyoustar
    tlyi
    ngandcheating.Unl
    i
    key our
    brot
    her,y
    ouarejustgoodatit
    .”
    Heshookhisheadwi thaslysmilet
    henputhis
    handonmyt hr
    oat.“Iam goingtogagyouthen
    fuckyousohar
    dy ouwon’ tbeabletosi
    twhenI
    am donewit
    hyou,thattoney ouj
    ustusedon
    mewi l
    lnev
    ersurf
    aceev eragainwhenIam
    done.
    ”
    Il
    ookedi
    nhi
    sser
    iousey
    esandmov
    edback.
    “Youar enotgoi
    ngtoescapethis,
    Iam goingt
    o
    keepy ouhereforl
    ongerthanIhadactual
    l
    y
    plannedandIam notgoingtostop.Thisi
    sfor
    now, nextt
    imeIam goingtoslapyou.
    ”

    *
    **
    Thef ol
    lowingmor ni
    ng,Abepr essedBar at
    i’
    s
    chesttot hebedfuckingherhardf rom behi
    nd.
    Baraticlosedhereyestight
    lyspasmi ngwitha
    scream whi l
    eAbegr unt
    ed.Hegav eheronelast
    thr
    ustf r
    eezinginsi
    deherf i
    l
    li
    ngherup.
    “
    Fuck!
    ”
    Hesl
    owlysl
    idoutandwal
    kedtothebathr
    oom.
    “
    Let
    ’sbat
    h,Idon’
    twantt
    obelateforchur
    ch.
    ”
    Barat
    ibreat
    hedheav
    ilyst
    il
    lshaki
    ng.Seconds
    l
    atershejoi
    nedhi
    mi ntheshower.
    “Toni
    ghtIam goi
    ngt
    oababyshowerwi
    th
    Phemelo.
    ”
    “
    Youtol
    dme, babeyoushouldal
    soinvi
    teTasha
    t
    osuchgather
    ingst
    oo,shedoesn’thav
    ealotof
    f
    ri
    endsandshereal
    l
    ylikesyou.
    ”
    “Thereasonwhyshedoesn’thav
    efri
    endsi
    s
    becausesheisnotf
    reearoundpeopl
    e.She
    nev
    ert
    alks.
    ”
    “IfyouknewTashai sthemostt alkat
    iveperson
    ev er
    ,thepr
    oblem isyouarefri
    endswi t
    hpeople
    whodon’ tl
    ikeher.Iknowmycousi nstoldy
    ou
    thingsaboutherandev enaft
    erIexpl ai
    nedto
    youwhathappened, y
    oustil
    ldi
    slikeher.”
    “I
    t’
    snott hatIdislikeherandIknowshei snota
    badpersonAbebuty oursisterisclosedoff.
    Shethi
    nksev ery oneisoutt ojudgehert hat’
    s
    whyshest aysawaymostoft hetime.ButIwi l
    l
    makemor eeffortwi t
    hmysi sterin-l
    aw.Either
    way,i
    nherst ate, shecan’tbegoi ngoutal ot.
    Shewil
    l popanyt ime.”
    Abepausedandst
    aredather
    .“Shei
    s
    pr
    egnant?”
    Bar
    ati
    closedherey
    esr
    egr
    ett
    abl
    y.“
    No.
    ”
    “Whatdoy
    oumeani
    nherst
    ateandwhati
    sshe
    aboutt
    opop?
    ”
    “
    Sheaskedmenott
    otel
    lyou.Pl
    easedon’
    t
    conf
    ronther
    .”
    “Mothakaowant l
    waelayaanong.I
    fhecanget
    herpregnantwhycan’
    themar r
    yher?”
    “Becausesheisstayi
    ngwi t
    hhi m.It ol
    dher,she
    needstomov eoutandst opbei nghiswife,
    she
    fel
    tasifIwasat t
    acki
    ngheranddearhusband,
    thati
    stherealreasonyoursisterandIdon’t
    hangoutthatmuch.Shewant smet oli
    etoher,
    Iam notgoingtosugercoatany t
    hing.
    ”
    “
    Kanawenagape.
    ”
    Baratismi
    led.“
    What ?It
    elli
    tasitis.I
    tal
    lcomes
    from agoodplace.Phat
    simowat engokar eo
    ratagoimisa.
    (Phatsi
    molikesi
    mpr egnat
    ing.)
    "
    “Iam goi
    ngt
    ohav
    eal
    i
    ttl
    etal
    kwi
    thhi
    m af
    ter
    church.
    ”
    Awhilel
    aterAbedr
    ov ethem t
    ochurch.They
    bothwal
    kedinsi
    dethechurchwhereAbe
    greet
    edoneofhisf
    riends.
    “
    Kennet
    h…”
    Kennethfi
    stbumpedwi
    thAbet
    hensmi
    l
    edat
    Barat
    i.“
    HeyB…”
    “
    Hi.
    .”
    Kenneth’
    swi f
    ewalkedoverdr essedelegantl
    y.
    Barat
    ismiledstar
    ingather,shewast hef i
    rst
    femalepastorwhodressedasi fshewas
    att
    endingabigeventeverysingleserv
    ice.
    “
    Rachel
    …”
    “
    Heyl
    ove…”
    Theyhuggedbri
    efl
    ythenRachel
    shookhands
    wit
    hAbe.“Iam sohappytoseeyouguy
    s.”
    Kennet
    hlookedatAbe.“
    Ihaveadealf
    ory
    ou
    andyourbr
    other
    s,rekasor
    tameeti
    ng
    kamoso?”
    “
    Yeah,
    howgoodi
    sthedeal
    ?”
    “Aver
    ygoodone,
    ther
    eisaproj
    ectIwasdoing
    andnowIthi
    nki
    t’
    stheri
    ght
    fult
    imetoinv
    olv
    e
    y
    ouandy
    ourbr
    other
    s.”
    Rachel
    putherar
    m aroundherhusband.“
    We
    ar
    eatchurch,
    busi
    nesstomorrow.Let’
    sgoin.
    ”
    Theywal kedi nchurch.Bar atiwatchedasAbe
    greetedeveryonesmi l
    ing, shesi ghedstari
    ngat
    him withoneoft hef emal edeaconswonder i
    ng
    whyhehadt osmi l
    ewi ththel adi
    estoo.The
    churchleaderwal kedov ert ohim.Abespokeso
    calmlyasi fhewasn’ tthesamemanwhowas
    whisperingdirtythi
    ngst oherear l
    i
    eronwhi l
    e
    fucki
    ngherhar d.Het urnedt oherandwi nked.
    Hewal kedwi ththepast ordi sappearinginthe
    crowd.
    “
    Sist
    erBar
    ati
    …”
    Barat
    i t
    urnedandlookedatBr
    ightwhopl
    ayed
    thedrums.“Hi…”
    “
    Wow,
    youl
    ookbeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    Barat
    i’
    sphonef
    rom herhandbag.Shequi
    ckl
    y
    tooki
    tout.
    “
    Hey
    ..
    ”
    “Tel
    lthatfoolt
    ogoaway ,otl
    anyelakana,
    just
    becausehei st
    hepastor’
    ssondoesn’tmeanhe
    cangoar oundundr
    essingourwi
    v es.
    ”
    Barat
    iwavedatBri
    ghtandwalkedt
    oherseat.
    “Youarei
    nchurch,watchy
    ourmouth.Gape
    Bri
    ghtwasn’
    tundressi
    ngme.”
    Abeputhi
    sarm ar
    oundherf
    rom t
    heback
    whi
    speri
    ng.“
    Akanyel
    amomosadi ngwaka.
    ”
    “
    Let
    ’sseat
    .”
    Hesqueezedherbut tkissi
    ngherneckt henthey
    bothsatdown.Mi nutesatereveryonehadsat
    down.Abeputhishandonhert high,Barati
    cal
    ml ysl
    appedhishandof fherthighwhi l
    e
    l
    ookingforwar
    d.Abechuckl edandki ssedher
    cheek.Bar
    atil
    ookedar oundwonder ingif
    anyonewaslooking.
    OneofthePast
    orsst
    oodinfr
    ontofthem wi
    tha
    mic.“
    Yester
    day
    ,oneofourbr
    otherher
    epaid
    bri
    depri
    ceforhi
    slovel
    ygi
    rl
    fri
    end.Wehadto
    keepthi
    ngsunder
    wrapsbecauseareeneo
    shy.
    ”
    Thechur
    chl
    aughed.“
    Marri
    edmen,j
    oinmeand
    hi
    m,wearegoi
    ngtoclel
    ebr
    atet
    hisguy.
    ”
    AbekissedBarati
    andstoodupwhi l
    esheput
    herhandoverherli
    psembar r
    assed.Thechur
    ch
    choi
    rstart
    edsingi
    ngasallthemarriedman
    dancedthei
    rwayt othef
    ront.

    Yawa,
    yawal
    embewu
    Yaway
    away
    awal
    embewu
    Yaway
    awel
    ’emhl
    abeni

    Ther estofthepeoplest
    oodupdancingfrom
    theirseatswhilethemarr
    iedmendancedin
    front.Barat
    iproudlywat
    chedherhusband
    danci ngwavingthehandwitht
    heringwit
    h
    ev
    eryot
    hermani
    nfr
    ont
    .

    *
    **

    Li
    nasmil
    edasTheo’
    smot
    hershowedherher
    cool
    reci
    pe.
    “
    Theny
    ouputi
    ntheov
    en.
    ”
    Li
    nasmi
    l
    ed.“
    Wow!Thatseemseasy
    .”
    Amel
    i
    asmi
    l
    ed.“
    Iti
    s.Iheary
    ouownal
    awf
    ir
    m.”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “That
    ’si
    mpressi
    ve.Weneedalotmore
    i
    ndependentwomanli
    keyou.Beaut
    if
    uland
    smart.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    oumam.
    ”
    “Ohno,cal
    lmeLia.Thisisabeautif
    ulcountr
    y
    bytheway.Alotoftouri
    sm at
    tract
    ion.Ican’
    t
    waitt
    ogot ot
    hedelta,Ihav
    ehear dsomuch
    abouti
    t.
    ”
    “
    Iti
    sal
    ovel
    ypl
    ace,
    youwon’
    twantt
    oleav
    e.”
    “
    Ireal
    l
    ywai
    ttoexper
    iencei
    tal
    l
    .”
    Theowal
    kedi
    ntheki
    tchensmi
    l
    ing.“
    Mom…”
    Ameli
    atur
    ned.“HeyTheo.Iwasjustt
    ell
    ingLina
    somuchthatIhavehear
    daboutthiscountr
    y.
    Thebeaut
    yandall.I
    syourfat
    herawake?”
    “
    No.
    ”
    “
    Letmegoandwakehi
    m up.
    ”
    Shewal
    kedawayt
    henLinasmi
    l
    ed.“
    Your
    par
    ent
    sareni
    cepeopl
    e.”
    “
    Itol
    dyou,
    Iam gl
    ady
    oucame.
    ”
    “
    Soam I
    .”
    Theoleanedov
    erandki
    ssedher
    .“Iwi
    l
    lsett
    he
    tabl
    e.”

    *
    **
    Tsot
    lhehel
    dherweddingf
    ramei
    nherhands
    st
    ari
    ngatit
    ,sheputi
    tdownasherphoner
    ang.
    “
    Tino…”
    “Idon’
    tseeanyhopef
    ort
    hismar
    ri
    aget
    obe
    honest.
    ”
    Shecl
    osedherey
    est
    aki
    ngi
    nadeepbr
    eat
    h.
    “
    Canwepl
    easej
    usthav
    eapeacef
    uldi
    vor
    ce?
    ”
    Tsotl
    heslowlyopenedhereyest
    henawar
    m
    tearr
    oll
    edoverhercheek.“
    Whatabout
    counsel
    ing?”
    “Iusedtol
    oveyoubutthatl
    overanout
    somewherealongtheway.Canwejustendi
    t
    please,
    youwil
    lrecei
    vethedi
    vor
    cepapers
    soon.”
    “Ok.Iam notgoingtofor
    ceyoutobewithme.I
    am sorr
    yIhurtyou,Ireal
    l
    yam buthopef
    ull
    yin
    yournextrel
    ati
    onshi
    py oucanl
    earnhowtobe
    for
    givi
    ng.Rel
    ati
    onshipsareallaboutfor
    givi
    ng,
    haditbeenyouinmypl ace,
    y ouwouldhave
    expect
    edmet of or
    giveyouthenputitbehi
    nd
    youbutit’
    sok.Iam stayi
    ngwi t
    hthekids.
    ”
    “That
    ’sokwit
    hme,
    Iwi
    l
    lhav
    etheweekends
    andholi
    days.
    ”
    Hehungup.Tsot
    lheputherhandsov
    erherf
    ace
    cr
    ying,
    feel
    i
    ngdefeat
    ed.

    TWOMONTHSLATER…
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #140
    Otengparkedhiscarandsteppedouthoding
    somef r
    eshflowers.I
    nsi
    dethehouse,helooked
    attheki
    dsseatedi nf
    rontoftheTV.
    “
    Heyguy
    s…wher
    eismama?
    ”
    “
    Shej
    ustl
    eft
    .”
    “
    Towher
    e?”
    “
    Shesaidshei
    sgoi
    ngt
    ohav
    edr
    inkswi
    tha
    f
    ri
    end.
    ”
    “
    Mal
    c?”
    “
    Hasn’
    tar
    ri
    vedy
    et.
    ”
    Ot
    engwal
    kedt
    ohi
    sbedr
    oom t
    hencal
    l
    edher
    .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Iwentoutf
    orsomedr
    inks.
    ”
    “Itol
    dyouIwast
    aki
    ngy
    ououtt
    oday
    .Wehav
    e
    plans.
    ”
    “
    OhmyGod,
    Ifor
    got
    .”
    “
    Cany
    oucomehome?
    ”
    “Ican’
    t,
    t’
    sawor
    kthi
    ng.Theyt
    hrewasmal
    l
    partyf
    orme.
    ”
    “
    Asmal
    lpar
    tyf
    orwhat
    ?”
    “
    Toj
    ustappreci
    atemeast
    hei
    rboss.Canwego
    t
    omor
    row.”
    “Andyoudidn’
    tthi
    nktotel
    lmethisdur
    ingt
    he
    day,Imadereserv
    ati
    onsforus.
    ”
    “
    Wewi
    l
    lgot
    omor
    row.Wewi
    l
    ltal
    k.”
    “
    Wher
    eist
    hispar
    tyhappeni
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Atwor
    k.Wewi
    l
    ltal
    k.”
    Shehungup.Otengwalkedout
    .“Ky
    ,comeand
    l
    ockup.Di
    dy ouguyseat?”
    “
    Mamal
    eftf
    ood.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    comeandl
    ock.
    ”
    Hewal
    kedoutanddr
    ovet
    oherwor
    kpl
    ace.
    *
    **

    Bi
    nal
    ookedatmeandl
    aughed.
    “
    Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngt
    othi
    spoorman.
    ”
    “
    Iam t
    eachinghim whatl
    iesandsecr
    etscando
    t
    oacouple.It
    ’snot
    hingseri
    ous.
    ”
    “
    Hepr
    obabl
    ythi
    nksy
    ouar
    echeat
    ing.
    ”
    “
    HeknowsIwoul
    dnev
    erdot
    hat
    .”
    “
    Idon’
    tli
    key
    ourgame.Kanaot
    laswel
    a
    masepa.
    ”
    “
    Itwon’
    tgett
    hatf
    ar.Letmegohomebef
    orehe
    t
    urnsi
    ntoamadman. ”
    MyphonerangthenBi
    nal
    ookedatit
    .“Youar
    e
    cal
    li
    ngt
    roubl
    eforyour
    sel
    f.Youar
    egoingtoget
    beat
    en.
    ”
    “
    Mxm,Iam sohappyy
    oucameal
    lthewayher
    e
    t
    oseeme.”
    Wehuggedwhileshelaughed.“Nosweet
    y,I
    tol
    dhubbyIwanttoseewhat ’
    sinMaunyou
    guysbr
    agabout.”
    “
    Youhav
    eal
    ott
    oseef
    ri
    end.
    ”
    “
    Youget
    ti
    ngbeat
    eni
    swhatIam goi
    ngt
    osee.
    Hei
    scal
    li
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Bye!
    ”
    Iwal
    kedt
    omycaranswer
    ing.“
    Iam comi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Isai
    dIam comi
    ng.
    ”
    “
    That
    ’snott
    heanswerIwant
    ,wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Iam dr
    ivi
    nghome.
    ”
    Hesi
    ghed.“
    Iwi
    l
    lmeety
    out
    her
    e.”
    Igotint
    hecarandspedhome.Ky
    raunl
    ocked
    andletmei
    n.
    “
    Daddycameandl
    eft
    .”
    “
    Iknow,
    hecal
    l
    ed.Di
    dyouguy
    seat
    ?”
    “
    Noty
    et,
    wear
    enothungr
    yyet
    .”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Otengwalkedinsi
    dethehousesti
    ll
    inhissui
    t
    andlookedatmyshor tdr
    esssi
    lent
    lyand
    walkedtothebedroom.Ifol
    l
    owedhimt hen
    cl
    osedthedoorbehindmewhi l
    ehesatont he
    bed.
    “
    Wher
    ewer
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Iwentoutf
    ordr
    inkswi
    thBi
    na.
    ”
    “
    Whydi
    dn’
    tyouj
    ustsayso?
    ”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    oucheat
    ing?
    ”
    “
    Iam notcheat
    ing.Ij
    ustwentt
    ohav
    eadr
    ink
    wi
    thmyf r
    iendOteng.
    ”
    “
    Letmeseey
    ourphone.
    ”
    “
    Why
    ?”
    “
    Becausey
    ouhav
    enot
    hingt
    ohi
    de.
    ”
    “
    Iam notcheati
    ng,whycan’
    tyouj
    ustbel
    iev
    e
    melikeyouhadmebelieveyouwhenyousaid
    youneversl
    eptwit
    hDudu.”
    Otengstoodup.“
    Ist
    hiswhyy
    ouhav
    ebeen
    doingt
    his?”
    “
    Doi
    ngwhat
    ?”
    “Idon’
    tknow,
    yourbehav
    iorhaschanged.You
    nowl i
    etome.
    ”
    “
    Iam notcheat
    ingony
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Tisaf
    ounu.
    ”
    “
    Iam notgi
    vi
    ngy
    oumyphone.
    ”
    Henodded.“Ok,
    Isti
    llwantustogooutli
    keI
    hadplanned.
    ”Hetookouthisphoneandcal
    l
    ed
    Malc.
    “
    Mal col
    m,Iwantyouhomei ntwentymi nut
    es,
    yourmotherandIaregoingoutonadat eand
    youhavetobabysityoursi
    bli
    ngs,Iam notsur
    e
    whenwear ecomingback.”
    Hehungupandpi
    ckedhi
    scarkey
    s.“
    Let
    ’sgo.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    ewegoi
    ng?
    ”
    “Ihadplansforus,
    remember
    ?Let
    ’sgo.Iam
    notcancell
    ing.
    ”
    Heopenedt
    hedoorf
    ormet
    henwewal
    kedout
    .
    “Guys,mamaandIar egoi
    ng,Mal
    cisonhisway
    back.Ky,comeandlockup.Andgi
    vetheki
    ds
    food,youmightnotbehungr
    ybutt
    heymaybe
    hungry.”
    Wewal kedoutasKyral
    ockedbehi
    nd.Oteng
    openedthedoorformeasacoldchil
    lrandown
    myspine.
    “
    Tsena.
    ”
    “
    Can’
    twegot
    omor
    row.Iam t
    ir
    ed.
    ”
    Hepushedmeinsi
    deandcl
    osedthedoort
    hen
    wal
    kedroundandj
    umpedinlocki
    ngt
    hedoors
    t
    hentookadeepbreat
    handexhal
    ed.
    “
    OtengI
    _”
    “Onemor ewordandIam slappingyou.Onti
    ra
    semataakere?Ihav
    enev erlai
    dahandony ou
    becauseIvowedmy sel
    fIwouldnev erl
    eti
    tget
    thatf
    armmewany atsaEazi.Ontir
    abari
    ,say
    onemor ethi
    ngandseewhathappens. ”
    Hestartedt hecaranddr oveoutwhi l
    emyhear t
    poundedbuthowf arcoul dheact uall
    yt akeit?
    Probablysomehar dcoref uckingandmay be
    somef ewsl aps.Iswal lowedhar dthenr el
    axed
    onmyseatwhi lehedr ov e.Thesilencei nt he
    carmademeuncomf ortableandmyhear t
    poundedev enmor e.Theni ghtAbehadst abbed
    mepl ayedv iv
    idlyinmymi ndasIl ookedahead.
    Thesamef eelingIhadt hatnightcr eptonme
    sl
    owlysl i
    theringitselfaroundme.At earr oll
    ed
    downmycheekf ollowedbyt heother .Isniff
    ed
    andlookedathi m.
    “
    IswearIam-
    “
    “
    Shutup!
    ”
    Iputmyhandovermymouthcry
    ingsil
    entl
    y.
    Aft
    erminut
    esofcry
    ing,
    Isl
    owlyf
    ellasl
    eep.

    *
    **

    Abewalkedinsi
    dehissi
    ster
    ’sbedr
    oom and
    smil
    edstar
    ingatherhol
    dingherdaught
    er.
    “
    Shei
    sbeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    Tashar
    aisedherhead.“
    Hey
    …”
    “
    CanIhol
    dher
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Abetookhi
    sni
    eceandsmi
    l
    edst
    ari
    ngather
    .
    “Shei
    sreal
    l
    ybeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    “
    Imakebeaut
    if
    ulchi
    l
    dren.
    ”
    Hehandedthebabyover.“Ok,
    nowy
    ouar
    e
    get
    ti
    ngaheadofyoursel
    f.”
    Tashal
    aughedt
    aki
    ngherdaught
    er.“
    What
    ’si
    n
    t
    hatpl
    ast
    ic?
    ”
    Abehandedhert
    hepl
    ast
    ic.“
    Somet
    hingsf
    ort
    he
    baby
    .”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Iam j
    ustpassi
    ngby
    .”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Abesmi l
    edt
    henwal
    kedoutpassingbythe
    ki
    tchenwher
    ehismotherwascooking.“
    Iam
    going.
    ”
    “
    Okmyboy
    .”
    Hewal kedoutj
    ustasPhatsi
    modrovein.
    Phat
    simot ookadeepbreat
    handstepedoutof
    hi
    scarholdingapl
    asti
    cfrom GameStore.
    “
    Abe…”
    “Younowj
    ustcomear
    oundl
    i
    key
    ouownt
    he
    place.
    ”
    “
    Yourmot
    hersai
    dIcoul
    dcome.
    ”
    “Wenantlwael await
    se,notonlyar
    ey ouwast
    ing
    mysist
    er’st i
    mekamasepammey ouhavenow
    got
    tendisrespectful
    .It
    ’senoughthatyouhave
    mademysi steryourwifeandyouuseherlef
    t
    andri
    ght.
    ”
    Tinodr
    oveinandpar
    kedbehi
    ndPhat
    simo’
    scar
    thenst
    eppedout.
    “Whotol
    dthi
    sfool
    hecoudpar
    kinsi
    det
    hegat
    e,
    heisbl
    ocki
    ngmycar.
    ”
    “
    Aker
    ewacl
    aima.
    ”
    Ti
    nolookedatPhat
    simo.“
    Mot
    hakaowar
    e
    nt
    lwael
    a.”
    “
    Iam nother
    etof
    ight
    ,justher
    e-“
    “
    Themomenty ouseey oursel
    fimpregnanti
    ng
    mysisteroverandoverwithoutmarryi
    ngher,
    youarelooki
    ngf oraf
    ight.Iheary
    ouar est
    arti
    ng
    abusiness.
    ”
    “
    Iam andIam goi
    ngt
    omar
    ryy
    oursi
    ster
    .You
    wil
    l hearf rom myuncl essoon.Unl i
    key ou,It
    ake
    myt imesoIdon’ tendupdi vorci
    ng.TodayIam
    goingt omar rymybest fr
    iendwhomot hersmy
    twoki dsandIwi llgi
    vehert heweddi ngshe
    deser vesbecauseIhav ebeenpl anningitf
    or
    years,Ihav esavedenoughmoneyf orhertodo
    what evershemaywantandIknowIwon’ t
    divorceherbecauseIknowev eryt
    hingabout
    her,shei smyl i
    fepartner.Butonal i
    ghternote,
    yoursi sterdoesl ovemydi cksowhatdoy ou
    expect .”
    Phatsi
    mowal
    kedi
    nsi
    det
    hehouse.Ti
    no
    chuckl
    ed.
    “
    Ihat
    ethatguy
    .”

    *
    **

    Pennytr
    iedEazi
    ’
    snumberagai
    nandsi
    ghed
    si
    tt
    ing.
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    ShelookedatSet
    h.“
    Eazi
    ’
    sphonei
    snotgoi
    ng
    thr
    ough.”
    “Didn’
    tMalct
    ell
    youshewentwi
    thy
    our
    brother
    .”
    “Somethingi
    swrong,l
    ookatt
    hismessagethat
    Otengsentme.HesaysIshoul
    dcheckonthe
    kids,
    he'snotar
    ound.
    ”
    Keit
    hlookedatt
    hemessageandgav
    ebackt
    he
    phone.“
    Whatareyout
    hinki
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Theothert
    imehecall
    edmeatni ghtl
    ooki
    ng
    f
    orEazbecauseshewasnothome.May beshe
    i
    scheati
    ngandhefoundoutaboutit
    .”
    “
    Whywoul
    dshecheat
    ?”
    “Idon’tknow,
    herpreviousmarriageended
    becauseshecheated.Ot enghatesbeing
    cheatedonbecausehedoesn’ tcheat.Thel
    ast
    ti
    meawomancheat edonhi m,shealmostdi
    ed.
    Rebaoneal
    mostdi
    ed,
    Kyr
    a’smom.
    ”
    “MaybeEazi
    isnotcheat
    ing.Shel
    ovesy
    our
    brot
    her.
    ”
    “Hewil
    lgotojai
    lorki
    llhert
    henhimself
    .You
    don’
    tunder
    standOteng.Ineedt
    otellPapa.
    ”

    *
    **

    Acol dbreezehitmyski nt henIopemedmy


    eyesinpani ckasthecarhi tabump.Il ookedat
    thebushest henatOt engwhowasst il
    ldrivi
    ng.
    Myhear tstartedpoundingasi frunni
    nga
    mar at
    hon.Godknewwher eIwas.Iswallowed
    sali
    vawet ti
    ngmydr yt hroat.Awhilel
    ater,he
    stoppedt hecaratthef arm houseandst epped
    out.
    “
    Let
    ’sgo!
    ”
    It
    ookoutmyphonebuti
    tseemedt
    her
    ewasno
    networkandt hebatterywasal mostjustdone.I
    slowl
    ysteppedoutandf ol
    lowedhimi nsi
    det he
    darkhouse.Hef l
    ickedt helight
    sandt hepoor
    l
    ighti
    ngcameon.If oll
    owedhi mtothebedr oom
    thenhepulledthechai rthatwasatthecor ner
    andputitinthemi ddleoft heroom.
    “
    Sit
    .”
    Isl
    owlysatdownt henhetookof fhi
    sjacket
    ,ti
    e
    andwaistcoat.Hefol
    dedthesleevesofhisl
    ong
    sl
    eevedt-
    shirtandunbutt
    onedaf ewbut t
    ons
    bef
    oretakingouthisgun.Helookedatme
    whil
    eIshookl ikeal
    eaf.
    “Iam goingtoaskyouonceandi fy oulietome,
    Iam goingt obl
    owy ourbrainsoff.Iwon’ tl
    eave
    youtol i
    ve,Iam goi
    ngtokillyou.Iwi l
    lmake
    sureyouact ual
    l
    ydie,Idon’tdosloppyj obs
    babe,whenIki l
    lImakesur e.From thereIwi l
    l
    kil
    lmy sel
    fthenitwi
    llbeov er,
    justli
    ket hat.
    ”
    “
    Oteng…”
    “Wear egoingt obehonest .Iam guilt
    yf or
    helpi
    ngDuduandt hat’
    sall
    .Ihav eneverl ooked
    atthatgirlwithanylook,j
    ustt hatIunder st
    ood
    wher eshewasst andi
    ng.It
    ’snoteasyt olose
    someoney oul ov
    e,Iknowt hat.Youf i
    redher ,
    I
    agreedt oi
    tbecauseIr eali
    zej usthowwr ongI
    was, IknewIwaswr ongrightf r
    om the
    beginningbutIguesst hewi l
    l t
    ohelpmademe
    thebadguy .Ihavenevercheat edony ou, you
    aretheonlywomanIhav eev erbeenwi thsi nce
    youagr eedt obewi t
    hme. ”
    Ibl
    inkedmyt
    ear
    sawayasal
    umpcl
    oggedmy
    thr
    oat.
    “Ihavelov
    edyouandyouonl
    y,nev
    erhaveI
    givenyouareasont
    othi
    nkot
    herwise,
    haveI
    ?”
    “
    No…”
    “
    Exact
    lybutnowIseeyouhavetakenmyl ove
    f
    oryouasaweakness.Youaregoingt
    ot ell
    the
    t
    rut
    horelseIam goi
    ngtoki
    ll
    you,Iam not
    bl
    uff
    ing.
    ”
    Tear
    srandownmycheeks.“Idon’
    tknowwhat
    youwantt
    ohear
    .Iam notcheati
    ng.
    ”
    Hepoint
    edthegunatmet henshotwhi
    leI
    scr
    eamed.Isl
    owlyopenedmyey esashe
    l
    ookedathi
    sgun.
    “Oh,seemsli
    keIfor
    gott
    ocockit.Sor
    ry.
    ”He
    cockedthegunthenpoi
    ntedi
    tatmeagain.
    Ilookedathi m andstartedcr yi
    ng.“Idon’tknow
    whaty ouwantmet osay .Idon’tknowwhaty ou
    wantt ohearbutIam notcheat ing.Iswearwi t
    h
    myl if
    e.Ij
    ustwant edtoshowy oujusthowi t
    hurtstohav eyourpartnerl i
    eandkeepsecr ets.I
    want edtomakey oufeel theuncertanit
    yIhav e
    beenf eel
    ing.Theconst antinsecurit
    ies.Allthe
    nightsIcamehomel ate, Iwouldpar kdownt he
    streetandsitinthecar.Iwant edt omakey ou
    feelwhaty oumademef eel bylyi
    ngt ome, by
    keepingsecrets.”
    “
    Didn’
    tIapol
    ogi
    zef
    ort
    hat
    ?”
    “I
    tdoesn’
    tmakei
    tok,
    youapol
    ogi
    zi
    gdoesn’
    t
    erasei
    t.
    ”
    Otengputawayt hegunandl ookedatme.
    “Can’tImessupbabe?Can’ tIbehuman?You
    don’thavet oplantdoubt sinmyheadt omakea
    point.Ify
    oucan’ tf orgi
    vemey ousaysot hen
    wef i
    ndawayt odeal wi
    thitbecausel eav i
    ngis
    notanopt ion,i
    t’snotev enont het abl
    e.The
    pastt womont hshav ebeenst ressful
    f orme
    becauseofev er ythingyouhav ebeendoi ng,is
    thatwhaty ouwer elookingtosee?Mel oosing
    i
    t.”
    “
    Iam sor
    ry.
    ”
    “Iam sorr
    ytoo.Doy
    ouwantust
    ogeta
    counselor
    ?”
    Ishookmyhead.
    “
    Whatdoy
    ouwantt
    hen?
    ”
    “Iwanttogohome.Iam scar
    ed.Iwantt
    ogo
    homet omykids.
    ”
    “IfIwant
    edtohurty ouIwoul dhav el
    ongdoneit,
    thatgundoesn’
    tev enhavebul l
    ets.Ihavebeen
    want i
    ngtoshowyout hisplace.Irecent
    ly
    boughtit
    .Youwillseeitproperl
    yt omorrow.You
    cangoandbat hwhi l
    eIcheckoutaf ewt hi
    ngs.
    Bor r
    owmey ourphone.”
    Ihandedi tt ohimt henlookedar oundt hepoorly
    l
    ight edroom.Al mostt hir
    tymi nut eslaterOteng
    walkedi nhol dingat orchwhi l
    eIl ayont hebed
    i
    nsi dethebl ankets.Het ookof fthewhi t
    eshirt
    thatIhadi ronedt odayear lymor ningthenhi s
    whi tevest.Iwat chedhi m undr esst henhe
    pulledtheduv etoffmynakedbodyget ti
    ng
    betweenmyl egs.Thewi ndout sidebl ewso
    hardt hewi ndowsshookaccompani edwi t
    h
    heav ydropletsofr ain.Knowi ngwhatt hi
    sman
    coul ddohadmet hrobbing.Hel eanedov erand
    kissedme.
    “
    Wher
    eyougoi
    ngt
    oki
    l
    lme?
    ”
    Hepaused.“
    What
    ?”
    “
    Wer
    eyou?
    ”
    “No,Iwoul
    dnev erhurtyoutoapointofkilli
    ng
    youbutIwasgoi ngtodisci
    pli
    neyout hatafter
    that
    ,youwouldnev erevert
    hinkofitandy ou
    wouldpart
    ylyhateme, whoeveryoucouldhav e
    beencheati
    ngonmewasgoi ngt
    ot akethe
    deathfory
    ou.”
    “
    Iam notcheat
    ing.Iswear
    .”
    “
    Iknow…”Heleanedov
    erandkissedmeendi
    ng
    t
    heconver
    sati
    on.Ther
    aingotmoreheav
    yashe
    madesl
    owl ov
    etome.
    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe
    #141

    Malcolm putallhi
    ssibl
    i
    ngst osleept
    he
    switchedofftheli
    ghtsi
    nt hei
    rrooms.He
    walkedbackt ohisroom andansweredhi
    s
    ri
    ngingphone.
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Hi,
    it’
    sKaone.
    ”
    Hel
    aughed.“
    Iknow,
    Isav
    edy
    ournumber
    .”
    “
    Oh,
    Ithoughty
    oudel
    etedi
    t.
    ”
    “
    Idon’
    twantt
    ocr
    osst
    hel
    i
    ne.
    ”
    “
    Whatl
    i
    ne?Ther
    eisnol
    i
    ne.
    ”
    “
    Yoursi
    steri
    smar
    ri
    edt
    omy
    -“
    “Tostepfat
    her’sbr
    other
    ’sbr
    other
    ?Theyar
    e
    div
    orcingei
    therway.
    ”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “
    Yes.CanIseey
    out
    omor
    row?
    ”
    “
    Aren’
    tyouwor
    kingt
    omor
    row?
    ”
    “
    Iam butIhav
    eahal
    fday
    ,so?
    ”
    Malcolm sighedi
    nadilemma.“Tomor r
    owIam
    goi
    ngt oviewahouseIwantt omov ein,y
    ou
    cancomewi thbutasmysist
    er.That’
    sallIcan
    off
    er.Tsotlhetr
    ustedy
    ouinmyhands. ”
    Kaonel
    aughed.“
    Wewi
    l
    lseet
    omor
    row.By
    e.”
    Shehungupt henhelai
    dont hebedscr ol l
    i
    ngon
    hi
    sphonef orawhi l
    e.Findingnot hing
    i
    nterest
    ing,heputt hephonedownand
    swit
    chedof ft heli
    ght
    scl osinghisey esbuti t
    wasasi fsleepdesertedhi m.Hel ai donhi sbed
    negoti
    atingwi thhi
    mselft henf i
    nallygotup.He
    putonat -
    shirtandwalkedoutoft hehouse
    l
    ockingbehi ndhim.Hel ookedathi snei ghbor’s
    smallgatet henjumpedov er.Hewal kedt o
    Kefi
    ’swindowandknockedgent ly.Thel ights
    wentont henshepeaked.
    Shesl
    owl
    yopenedt
    hewi
    ndow.“
    Nkukui
    sher
    e.”
    “
    Iknow,
    letmei
    n.”
    “
    Mal
    col
    m,mygr
    andmot
    her
    -“
    “
    Letmei
    n,y
    ouar
    ewast
    ingt
    ime.
    ”
    Shecl osedthewi ndowandsatonherbed
    thought f
    ull
    y.Shecoul djustignoredhim and
    sleepbutknowi ngMal col
    m, hewoul dnev er
    l
    eav e.Herhear tpoundedasshesl owl yopened
    herbedr oom doorandwal kedt othesitti
    ng
    room.Sheunl ockedt hedoorandopenedi t
    .
    Mal colm walkedinsecondsl aterwi t
    hhi sshoes
    i
    nhi shands.Kef i
    closedthedoorandl ocked
    thenl edhim backt oherbedr oom.Mal colm got
    i
    nasshehur ri
    edt othetoil
    etandf lushedbef or
    e
    walkingbackt oherr oom.Shel ookedathi m
    l
    y i
    ngonherbed.Sheswi t
    chedof fthelightthen
    goti nherbed.
    “
    Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngher
    e?”
    Mal
    col
    m puthi
    shandonherhi
    p.“
    IfIt
    alk,
    shei
    s
    def
    ini
    tel
    ygoi
    ngt
    owakeup.
    ”
    Shel ookedathi mthedar knessandsi ghedas
    heki ssedher .Hernightdr essrodetoherwai st
    withhi m betweenherl egski ssi
    nghergood
    whi l
    egr i
    ndinghi serecti
    ononher .Hetookthe
    dressandsqueezedherbr east.Theyboth
    breathedheav il
    y,Malcolmt ookhistshir
    tthen
    hookedhi sthumbi nherpant ysl
    idi
    ngitdown
    herlegs.Het ookouthi sdickandr ubbediton
    herwetpussy .Hecouldjusthol dherinplace,
    forceitinandf uckher.Kef imoanedsof t
    lyin
    hisearmaki ngi tal
    lworsef orhim.
    Hel
    ookedather
    .“CanIputt
    het
    iponl
    y?”
    “
    Mal
    cyousai
    dyouwoul
    dwai
    t.
    ”
    “
    Justt
    hetip,
    that
    ’snotsex.I
    t’
    sjustt
    het
    ip,
    aft
    er
    t
    hatIwi
    ll
    gobackhome. ”
    “
    Mal
    col
    m Iam scar
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Shhh…j
    ustt
    het
    ip.
    ”
    Kefi
    ’shear
    tski
    ppedashergr
    andmot
    her
    ’sdoor
    opened.
    “
    Mygr
    andmot
    her
    !”
    Mal colmjumpedof fherandhurr
    iedinside
    war drobe.Kefiquickl
    yputonhernightdr ess
    andsl idhist-
    shiurtunderneat
    hherpill
    ow
    closingherey es.Thedooropenedt hent he
    l
    ight swenton.
    “
    Ihear
    dvoi
    ces.
    ”
    Kefisl
    owl
    yopenedherey
    esandl
    ookedather
    grandmot
    her
    .“Mme…”
    “
    Ihear
    dvoi
    ces.
    ”
    “
    Aunt
    ybr
    oughtherboy
    fri
    endt
    oday
    .”
    Hergrandmot hershookherheadswi t
    chingof
    f
    thel
    ightthenwal kedoutshout i
    ng.Shewent
    andbangedonherdaught er
    ’sdoorscreaming
    evenmor eloudly.Kefiremainedsti
    ll
    knowing
    herauntwoul dnev eropenthedoorand
    tomorr
    owshewoul dbegonebef or
    eany one
    wakesup.Minut
    slater,
    hergrandmotherwalked
    backtoherr
    oom.Mal colm gooutofthe
    wardr
    obe.
    “TomorrowIam mov
    ingout
    ,wi
    l
    lyouhel
    pme
    sett
    le?
    ”
    “
    Whatt
    ime?
    ”
    “Assoonasyouknockof
    fatschool
    .Fort
    wo
    hour
    sonly.
    ”
    “
    One.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    onehour
    ,Iwi
    l
    lpi
    cky
    ouup.
    ”
    Shehandedhi
    m hi
    st-shi
    rtst
    ari
    ngathishar
    don.
    Malcputonhi
    st-
    hir
    tbeforeki
    ssingher
    .
    “
    Seey
    out
    omor
    row.
    ”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Shel
    edhi
    m outt
    henqui
    ckl
    ygotbacki
    nbed.
    *
    **

    Thefollowingmorning,Tsotl
    hepar
    kedinfr
    ont
    ofTino’shouseandst eppedoutwit
    hthe
    chi
    ldren’sbags.Sheknockedonthedoorthena
    womani narobopened.Tsot l
    hel
    ookedather
    andblinked.
    “
    Hi,
    canIpl
    easet
    alkt
    oTi
    no.
    ”
    Tinoappear
    edbehi
    ndhert
    henTsot
    lheputt
    he
    bagsdown.
    “
    Ibr
    oughtt
    hingsy
    oumayneedf
    ort
    hem.
    ”
    Thewomanwal
    kedbacki
    nthehouse.Tsot
    lhe
    si
    ghed.
    “
    Soy
    oual
    readyf
    oundmyr
    epl
    acement
    ?”
    “
    Weagr
    eedwewoul
    donl
    ydi
    scusst
    heki
    ds.
    ”
    Tsot
    lhenodded.“
    Ok.By
    e.”
    Shet
    urnedandconf
    ident
    lywal
    kedawayi
    nher
    heels.Shegotinhercarandlookedatherr
    ing
    forasecondbef or
    etaki
    ngitoff.Shedr
    oveoff
    headedt oworkandwalkedinhernewspacious
    offi
    ce.Shesatdownandcal l
    edanumber .
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hi,
    howsooncanIgetmycar
    ?”
    “Thecarisal
    readyoni
    t’
    sway
    .Int
    hreeday
    s
    youwil
    lhavei
    t.”
    Shesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Ican’
    twai
    t,t
    hanky
    ou.
    ”
    Shehungupfeel
    i
    ngexci
    ted.Shecoul
    donly
    i
    magi nehowi
    twoul
    dfeelbehi
    ndthewheelof
    thatGodl
    ycar
    .

    *
    **

    PennyheldherphoneonherearasEazi
    ’
    s
    phonerang.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    OhmyGod!Iwassowor
    ri
    ed,
    arey
    ouok?
    ”
    “
    Iam f
    ine.Whati
    swr
    ong?
    ”
    “Iwasworriedthinkingmaybesomethi
    ngbad
    happened.Icouldn’tgethol
    dofyou.
    ”
    Eazil
    aughed.“Iam f
    ine,j
    ustoutwit
    hmy
    husband.Nothi
    ngmuch.Wewon’ tbecomi
    ng
    backti
    llSundaysopleasegoandcheckonthe
    ki
    ds.”
    “
    Ok.Ar
    eyouokt
    hough?
    ”
    “
    Iam per
    fect
    .By
    e…”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Kei
    thl
    ookedatherasshehungup.“
    See?You
    wer
    estressi
    ngovernot
    hing.
    ”
    “
    Ihopeso.
    ”
    “Youshouldst
    opthinki
    ngnegati
    vel
    yofyour
    brot
    her.Andstopbadmouthingyoursi
    steri
    n-
    l
    aw.Justbecauseshecheat edonherpr evi
    ous
    relationshipdoesn’ tmeanshei scheati
    ngnow.
    Peopl elearnfr
    om t heirmi st
    akesandwedon’ t
    evenknowwhathappenedf orhert ocheat.
    Stopbei ngjudgment al,youy ourselfyouar
    enot
    per fect.Youdon’ tseemedeny ingyoutosee
    yourf amilyorattendingy ourfami l
    y’s
    gat her i
    ngsjustbecausey ouar ecapableof
    sleepi ngwi t
    hyourr elati
    ves, t
    hat ’
    sbecauseI
    choosenott ojudgey ouwi t
    hy ourpast
    mi stakes.”
    Pennysi
    ghed.“
    Youar
    eri
    ght
    .”
    “Iam.Wear egoi
    ngt
    ost
    ayoutofy
    ourbr
    other
    ’s
    business.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Good.
    ”
    Kei
    thki
    ssedhert
    henshest
    eppedoutather
    workpl
    ace.
    *
    **

    Bina’
    sphoner
    angasshewal
    kedoutoft
    he
    hotelr
    oom.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hey
    ,Isawy
    ourmessages.Whataf
    ri
    end.
    ”
    “
    Iwassoscar
    edwhenhecal
    l
    ed.Howdoy
    ou
    l
    i
    vewit
    hsuchaman?”
    “
    Mxm…i
    magi
    nei
    freal
    l
    yIwascheat
    ing.
    ”
    “Pl
    easenevertel
    lmewheny oudot hi
    ngsy ou
    knowyouar enotsupposedtobedoi ng.The
    wayIam soscaredofy ourhusband,Iwil
    ltell
    him.Helooksli
    kehewi l
    lslapmei fIdon’
    ttell
    him.Ar
    ey ouokthough?Didn’theslapyou? ”
    “
    No.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    ear
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Atsomef
    arm,
    wewi
    l
    ltal
    kwhenIcomeback.
    Myphonei
    sswi
    tchi
    ngof
    f.
    ”
    “
    Bye.
    ”
    Eazi
    hungup.Binagoti
    nthecart
    henLet
    so
    l
    ookedather
    .“Gotit
    ?”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Ok,
    let
    ’sgetmov
    ing.
    ”
    Binasmil
    edasherphoner
    angagai
    nfl
    ashi
    ng
    hermotheri
    n-l
    aw’
    sname.
    “
    Mot
    her
    s….
    ”
    “
    Arey
    ouguy
    sal
    readygone?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    “
    Whatdi
    dyouwant
    .”
    “Iwant edust ogooutt
    oget her
    ,Iwasgoingto
    dri
    vet here.Thewit
    chcalledmesay i
    ngIam
    bewitchinghersonsot hathedoesn’
    ttakecare
    ofhisf amily
    .Idon’
    tknowwhatt heywantfrom
    mebutt heyar
    enotgett
    inganymoneyt i
    llt
    hey
    approachme.Shewentstrai
    ghtaheadtomy
    husbanddemandingmoneycalli
    ngmenames
    whil
    eatit.Ebi
    l
    enkarenkaCapeTownf orsome
    fr
    eshair.
    ”
    “
    Youshoul
    dgo.
    ”
    “Youareri
    ght,Iam t
    ell
    i
    nghubby.Bytheway,I
    am dr
    ivi
    ngtoy ourspatodayandget
    tingmy
    beaut
    ytreat
    ment sdone.Letmecall
    Thabil
    e,we
    cangotogether.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sok.I
    ri
    nknowsy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Didy
    ouheart
    hatot
    heronei
    spr
    egnantagai
    n?”
    “
    No,
    shei
    s?”
    “
    Yes,
    anot
    herman.
    ”
    “
    Whatdi
    dthewi
    tchsay
    ?”
    “
    Mxm, whatcanshesay?Aker
    ethat’
    sher
    f
    avor
    it
    e.Iam notgoi
    ngtobuyanyt
    hingthi
    s
    t
    imearound,shei
    sgoingf
    aralwayswanti
    ng
    peopl
    etot
    akecar
    eofherki
    dsbutnoone
    hel
    pedmewithmine.
    ”
    “
    Iam wai
    ti
    ngf
    ort
    hedayt
    heyt
    ryme.
    ”
    Hermotheri
    n-l
    awl aughed.“
    Youwil
    lsendthem
    t
    oearl
    ygraves,yourmout hi
    sdanger
    ous.”
    “
    Iwi
    l
    lputt
    hem i
    nthei
    rpl
    aces,
    all
    oft
    hem.
    ”
    Letsotookherphone.“
    Mama, pl
    easecal
    l
    Thabi
    le.Iam hav
    ingqual
    it
    yti
    mewi t
    hmywi f
    e.”
    Hehungupandl ookedatme.
    “
    Nophones,
    justus.
    ”
    Bi
    nasmi
    l
    edt
    henki
    ssedhi
    scheek.“
    Sor
    ry.
    ”

    *
    **

    Ontl
    ametsifi
    nishedcl
    eaninguponceever
    yone
    hadlef
    tthenshesmi l
    edreachi
    ngorherphone
    andcall
    edherdaughter.
    “
    Mmagwenna…”
    Ont
    lamet
    sil
    aughed.“
    Howar
    eyou?
    ”
    “
    Mama,
    Iam f
    ine.
    ”
    “
    Imi
    ssy
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Youhav
    eLameandKabo.
    ”
    “
    It
    ’snott
    hesamewi
    thouty
    ouorAme.
    ”
    “Ebi
    leshej
    ustwalkedi
    n.Letmeputt
    hephone
    onloudspeaker
    .”
    “
    Kanamamaj
    ustcal
    l
    edmet
    enmi
    nut
    esback.
    ”
    Ont
    lametsi
    sighed.“
    Imi
    ssy
    ouguy
    s,If
    eel
    so
    l
    onely
    .”
    Amechuckled.“
    Wherepapa?AndLameisal
    so
    ther
    etokeepyoucompany.Yousti
    l
    lhaveal
    ot
    ofyear
    swithKabo.Gapeaunt
    iei
    sther
    e.”
    “Yourauntisalway
    sbusy.Andwhenshei
    snot
    busy,herhusbandmonopoli
    zeher
    .”
    “
    Youshoul
    ddosomegi
    rl
    str
    ip.Gosomewher
    e
    toget
    her
    ,AmeandIar
    epl anni
    ngt
    ogotoCape
    Townwhenthi
    ssemestercomestoanend.
    ”
    “
    That
    ’sni
    ce,
    youhav
    emoney
    ?”
    “Yes,wehav ebeensav
    ing.I
    twasmyidea
    obviousl
    y,Lesegowoul
    dneverthi
    nkoft
    hat
    alone.
    ”
    Lesegol
    aughed.“Iam nott
    heonest
    udy
    ing
    account
    ing.I
    t’
    syourj
    obt osav
    e.”
    “Iam proudofy oubot h.Pleasedon’ tget
    i
    mpr egnated,Iwoulddi eifthatwer et ohappen.
    Iwanty outofinishschool, workandget
    marriedthenhav ekids.Youshoul dn’tbeina
    hurr
    yt osettl
    eandhav ekids, enj
    oyy ourli
    fe.Go
    outthereandf i
    ndy ourself.Don’tbequi ckto
    j
    umpi nt
    omar ri
    age, youwi ll
    mar rypeoplewh
    werenev ermeantf ory ou.
    ”
    Lesegocl
    earedhert
    hroat
    .“Ar
    eyout
    alki
    ng
    aboutMmoloki?
    ”
    “
    Iam j
    ustsay
    ingi
    ngener
    al,
    andIt
    oldy
    ounott
    o
    cal
    lhi
    m wi
    thhi
    sfi
    rstname.
    ”
    “Iwil
    lcal
    l hi
    m withhisnamebecauseheisnot
    afathertome.Hel ongabandonedus.Hehates
    us,hetoldLameandIt hi
    ssohedoesn’
    t
    deservethetitl
    eofbeingcall
    edafat
    her
    .Isaw
    him wit
    hhi sfamil
    ytheotherti
    meandhe
    behavedasi fhedoesn’tknowme.”
    “Youneedtolear
    ntoforgi
    v e,evenwhen
    someonedoesn’taskforyourforgiveness.You
    needtofor
    giv
    e, y
    oudon’tforgiveforanyonebut
    you.For
    giv
    ehi mtosetyourselffr
    ee.”
    “Idon’
    thavetoforgi
    veanythi
    ngandIam f
    ine
    withholdi
    nggrudges,don’
    tworr
    y,t
    heyar
    enot
    heavy.Icanmanage.”
    Amelaughed.“
    Mamammawewi
    l
    ltal
    k.Ihav
    e
    togotocl
    ass,bye!
    ”
    “
    ByeAme.Lesego,
    wewi
    l
    ltal
    k.”
    “
    Iam st
    il
    lnotf
    orgi
    vi
    ngany
    one.
    ”
    Ont l
    amet sihungupshaki ngherhead.Ther e
    wasnochangi ngthi
    schi l
    d’smind.She
    thoughtfull
    ydi aledEazi ’
    snumberbuti tdidn’tgo
    through.Shecaughtagl impseofher selfont he
    mirrorthenst oodupandwal kedcloser.God!
    Wast hiswhatat womont hsleavedid?Whydi d
    herhairlookl ikethat?Sheneededanewhai rdo,
    somet hingnice, curlyandlong.Shel ookedat
    herarmpi tsthenf rowned.Herey ebrowswer e
    evenbushy .Shet ookadeepbr eath,she
    neededt osor therselfoutthenmay besur pr
    ise
    Daddyatwor k.

    *
    **

    Malcolm wal
    kedinsi
    dehisnewhouselat
    erthat
    dayandlookedathisfur
    nit
    ureal
    lover
    .Kaone
    walkedfrom t
    hekit
    chen.
    “
    It
    ’sabeaut
    if
    ulbachel
    orpad.
    ”
    “
    Yeah…”
    “
    Soy
    ouar
    esl
    eepi
    ngher
    etoni
    ght
    ?”
    “No,mypar
    ent
    str
    avel
    ed,
    Iam l
    ooki
    ngaf
    termy
    sibl
    i
    ngs.
    ”
    “
    Youar
    ecooki
    ngf
    ort
    hem?
    ”
    “
    Yeah.
    ”
    “
    Icanhel
    p.”
    “
    Youdon’
    thav
    eto.
    ”
    “Af
    terwhatyoudidformethatday,Iwantt
    o.
    Youweresohelpful
    .Idon’
    tknowwhatwoul d
    havehappenedhadInotmety ou.
    ”
    Mal
    col
    m smi
    l
    ed.“
    It
    ’sok.
    ”
    Kaonewal
    kedovertohi
    m andhuggedhi
    m.“
    I
    coul
    dhavebeenrapedt
    hatday
    .”
    Malchuggedherbr
    ief
    lyandst
    eppedbackj
    ust
    ashisdi
    ckstar
    tedget
    tingwar
    medup.“Iam
    goi
    ngtogetsomeone.Youcanhavethepi
    zzaI
    boughtthenlockupandl
    eav
    ethekey
    sunder
    thebri
    ckoutside.
    ”
    “
    Ok.Iwi
    l
    llockup.
    ”
    “
    Thanksagai
    nfort
    oday
    .”
    “
    Youar
    ewel
    come.
    ”
    Malcolm wal kedoutt henKaonel ookedaround
    andstartedcl eaning.Almostant wohourslater
    ,
    shewasdonewi t
    ht hesit
    ti
    ngroom andkitchen.
    Shesmi ledst ari
    ngatt hesit
    ti
    ngroom witha
    l
    itt
    lebitoff urni
    ture,sheli
    kedthesetup.She
    smiledimpr essedwi t
    hhersel
    fjustasMalcolm
    drovein.Shesatpr operl
    yashewal kedi
    n.He
    l
    ookedar ound.
    “
    Wow!
    ”
    “
    Iwasaboutt
    oleav
    eand…”
    Agirlwalkedi
    naschool uni
    for
    m.Kaonelooked
    atherthenbackatMalc.“Iwasaboutt
    oleave
    butthenthoughtofset
    ti
    ngupf ory
    ou.”
    “
    Youdi
    dn’
    thav
    eto.
    ”
    They ounggir
    lputherbagonthecouchthen
    tookoffherschoolhatexposi
    ngherbeaut
    if
    ul
    fl
    awlessface.Shesatdownshowingheryell
    ow
    l
    egst henKaonesmi l
    edcalmly
    .
    “
    Hi.
    ”
    “UhKaone, t
    hisi
    sKef i
    ,Kefi
    ,thisismycousin,
    sortof,t
    heoneIt ol
    dyouabout .”Hisphone
    vibr
    atedfrom hi
    spocket.Het ookitandlooked
    atKefi.
    “
    Ihav
    etot
    aket
    his.
    ”
    Hewalkedoutanswer
    ing.Kef
    ist
    oodupand
    st
    aredatKaone.
    “
    Iam hi
    sgi
    rl
    fr
    iend.
    ”
    Kaonel
    aughed.“
    Youar
    ewhat
    ?”
    “
    Hisgi
    rl
    fr
    iend.
    ”
    “Shames,
    whyar
    eyoudoi
    ngthi
    stoyour
    self
    nana?Gohomeandr
    ead.Youar
    etooyoungto
    bechasingaftermen.Youragemat esarebusy
    wit
    ht hei
    rbooks.Wheny oulookaty our
    sel
    f,do
    youseeamat chwi thMalc?Youwantt osend
    mymant ojai
    lwithstupi
    dthi
    ngs,takeyourbag
    andleave,Iam notgoingtofi
    ghtwithachil
    dat
    myage. ”
    Kefil
    ookedatherf orawhi l
    etheburstout
    l
    aughing.“Youaresodesper atei
    t’
    ssad.You
    havebeenbusyt hrowingyoursel
    fathim,yesI
    knowbecausehet ell
    sme.Asy oungasImay
    be,Iwill
    mopt hi
    sf l
    oorwi t
    hyou.Don’t
    underesti
    matemel ooki
    ngatmyuni f
    orm.He
    doesn’twantyou,stopchasingaft
    erhimli
    kea
    l
    ostpuppy .
    ”
    “
    You-
    “
    Kefipi
    ckedKaone’sbagandt hr
    ewitoutont
    he
    ground.“Getout
    ,thankyouforcl
    eani
    ngbutt
    he
    l
    adyoft hehouseishereandshewill
    takeov
    er,
    desperatemuch!”
    Mal
    col
    m wal
    kedov
    erandl
    ookedatt
    hem.
    “
    What
    ’sgoi
    ngon?
    ”
    “
    Kaonei
    sleav
    ing,
    right
    ?”
    Sensingt
    hetension,henodded.Kaonel
    ooked
    athimthenpickedherbagembar r
    assedand
    walkedaway.Kefifol
    dedherarms.
    “Idon’ tknowwhatgamesy ouar eplay i
    ng,I
    mi ghtnothav emuchexperiencebutIam smar t,
    i
    fy out hinky oucanjustuseme, Iwillendy our
    l
    ife.Youdon’ tknowmygr andmot her,allIhave
    tot ellheristhatyouaremol esti
    ngmeandy ou
    willbei njailbef
    oreyoucanbl i
    nk.Don’ t
    mi stakenmyqui et
    nessforst upidi
    ty.Just
    becauseIl etyoubreatheonmeandr ub
    your selfonmedoesn’ tmeanIam st upid.”
    Malcol
    mlookedatherangr
    yface,herv
    oice
    cameoutfi
    rm andshar
    p.Hecouldneverguess
    i
    t’
    stheshyKefi
    lwe.
    “
    Buty
    ouknowaboutKaone.
    ”
    “
    Whatisshedoingher
    e?Kekopagor
    eonki
    se
    l
    apeng.(
    Pleaset
    akemehome.)”
    Shewal
    kedbackandgotherbagbutMal
    col
    m
    wal
    kedi
    nlocki
    ngthedoor
    .
    “Iam sorr
    yshewasherebutshesaidshecould
    helpmet hat
    ’swhyIaccept
    edherrequest
    .Iam
    sorry
    .From t
    odayonward,Iwon’
    ttal
    ktoher.
    ”
    Heputherbagdownki
    ssi
    ngher
    .“Soor
    y
    aut
    wa?”
    Kef
    i bl
    ushedt
    henlookedatt
    hesetup.“
    Thi
    sset
    upisugly,
    Iwi
    llr
    edoittheny
    ouwil
    ldropme
    home.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    .
    Don'
    tfor
    gott
    oli
    keandcomment
    ..
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe
    #142

    Ontl
    ametsi
    steppedoutofhercarandf i
    xedher
    hai
    rasshecatwalkedi
    nsidethebuil
    ding.She
    wenttot
    herecepti
    on.
    “
    Hi,
    isAkany
    angi
    n?”
    “
    Yes,
    youar
    ehi
    swi
    fer
    ight
    ?”
    Ontl
    amet
    sismi
    l
    ed.“
    Yes.Iwoul
    dli
    ket
    osee
    hi
    m.”
    “
    Ofcause,
    hei
    sin.It
    houghty
    ouwer
    easol
    dier
    .”
    “
    Iam,
    nextt
    imeIshoul
    dbr
    ingmygun.
    ”
    Ontlamet
    siwalkedawayheadedtoAkanyang’
    s
    off
    icehol
    dingthepaper
    bagfrom Nandos.She
    knockedwalki
    ngin.
    “
    Heybaby
    …”
    Akany
    angl
    ookedupf
    rom hi
    slapt
    opandsmi
    l
    ed
    sur
    pri
    sed.
    “
    Wow!
    ”
    Ont
    lamet
    sitwi
    rl
    ed.“
    Doy
    oul
    i
    kei
    t?Iev
    enwaxed
    mywholebody
    .”
    Helookedathernewhair
    do.“
    Youlookbeaut
    if
    ul.
    Youlookedbeaut
    if
    ulev
    enbefore.
    ”
    Hestoodupwi thhi
    sbellyandhuggedher .
    Ont
    lametsigiggl
    edsteppingback.“
    IthoughtI
    wouldsur
    priseyouatwor k.Ibr
    oughtlunch.
    ”
    Akany
    a’schubbycheeksl
    i
    ftedashesmi
    l
    ed
    st
    ari
    ngatthefood.Shesi
    ghed.
    “
    Babe,
    kanayester
    dayMmagweLol
    oassumedI
    waspr
    egnant
    .”
    “
    What
    ?”
    “Yes,shesai
    dIam bi
    gli
    kesomeonewhoi
    s
    pregnant.
    ”
    “
    Arey
    ou?
    ”
    “
    No.It
    hinkwear
    efat
    .”
    “
    Youar
    enotf
    at.
    ”
    Ontl
    ametsi
    laughed.“
    Wearebaby
    ,Ican’
    tfi
    tmy
    ol
    dclot
    hesanymor e,
    youev
    enhaveabell
    y.
    ”
    Akanyangr
    ubbedhi
    sbel
    l
    y.“
    Don’
    tyoul
    i
    ket
    his
    Godlymadepi
    ll
    ow?”
    Ontlasmiled.“
    Il oveitbutwear egoingtothe
    gym.Youdi dn’thav emuscl eswhenImety ou
    butyouwer efit.Ihavemadey ouunhealthy
    .No
    mor efastfoodf oreveryoneathome.Ev en
    LameandKaboar echubby .Wear egoingon
    dietandwear egoi ngtost arteati
    nghealth.”
    Shet ooktheNandosandputi taside.Akanyang
    salutedherwithhi stwof i
    ngers.
    “Yesmam!Butfory
    ou,y
    ouwil
    llosethewei
    ght
    eit
    herwaywhenyougobackt
    owor k.
    ”
    “Ngng,
    Iam goingt
    olosethewei
    ghtwi
    thy
    ou.
    Butt
    hatisnotwhyIam her
    e.”
    “
    Ever
    ythi
    ngok?
    ”
    “
    Icameher
    etohav
    esex.
    ”
    Akanyanglookedatherandbur
    stl
    aughing.
    “Babe,Iam sur
    ethati
    snothowtheydoit.You
    needtoputal i
    tt
    lebi
    tofshowandseduceme.”
    “
    Youwantmet
    omodel
    ?Ok…”
    Shewentbacktothedoorandlockeditt
    hen
    star
    teddoi
    ngherbestcatwal
    kt owar
    dshis
    chai
    r.Shet
    urnedandshookherbigbutt.
    “
    Arey
    ouar
    oused?
    ”
    Shefacedhimt
    henAkany
    angpul
    l
    edhert
    o
    st
    raddlehi
    m.
    “Seei
    ngyouwasenough.Youl
    ookr
    eal
    l
    y
    beauti
    ful
    .”
    Ontl
    ablushedashetuckedherweav
    ebehind
    herear
    .Hepulledhercl
    oserki
    ssi
    ngherwhil
    e
    unzi
    ppi
    ngherdr essf
    rom behi
    nd.
    .
    Ontlawalkedoutandwentstari
    ghtt
    ohercar
    wit
    hasmi le.Shegoti
    nanddrovetothe
    chi
    ldr
    en’sschoolsr
    oll
    ingdownallwi
    ndows.
    SheparkedatKabo’sschoolt
    henheranover
    andgotin.
    “
    Mama!
    ”
    Ont
    lahuggedhi
    m.“
    Heysweet
    y.”
    ShetookoffanddrovetoLame’sschool
    .Lame
    wal
    kedov erhol
    dingsomebookswi t
    hherbag
    onherback.Shegotinatthef
    ront.
    “
    Himama.
    .”
    “
    Hey
    ,whatar
    ethose?
    ”
    “Somenov
    elsmyengl
    i
    shteachergav
    emet
    o
    helpmewi
    thmycomposi
    ti
    onwr i
    ti
    ng.”
    “
    Ok,
    Ili
    key
    ourt
    eacher
    .”
    “Metoo.Oh,
    it’
    spr
    icegi
    vi
    ngnextweekon
    Fri
    day.
    ”
    “
    Howmanyawar
    dsar
    eyouget
    ti
    ng?
    “
    Thet
    eachersai
    dIam get
    ti
    ng6.
    ”
    “That’snice.”Ontladr oveaway .“
    WhenIwas
    youragemamanev ercamef orsuchthingsat
    school becauseshesai dshewon’ tcomet o
    claphandsf orotherchi l
    drenwhileherchil
    d
    doesn’tgetany thing.Buty ourauntwasso
    smar tbackatschool ,shewoul dbethet op
    studentint heschool ,formfiveshegot48
    points.”
    “
    Thewhydi
    dn’
    tshef
    ini
    shuni
    ver
    sit
    y?”
    “Li
    fehappenedLameandt odaylook,sheis
    somewher esohighy etshehasnodegr ee.Iam
    notsayi
    nggoar oundandsayy ouwon’tgeta
    degreebutbedetermi nedwi t
    hwhaty ouwant
    andgof ori
    t.Eazistartedsell
    ingatbusrank
    andtodaysheisdoi ngcollaborat
    ionswithbigs
    namesoutt hereall
    becauseofdet er
    mination.
    ”
    “
    Doy
    oul
    ovey
    ourj
    ob?
    ”
    Ont
    lal
    aughed.“
    Ilov
    eitsomuchandt
    hati
    swhy
    Iam st
    il
    lther
    e.GapeIam get
    ti
    ngpr
    omot
    ed…”
    Thekidslaughedwi
    thher
    .Shet
    urnedupher
    radi
    odriv
    inghome.

    *
    **

    Ot
    engbroughtt
    hehor
    secl
    oser
    ,Ii
    nst
    inct
    ivel
    y
    movedback.
    “
    Hey
    …hedoesn’
    tbi
    te.
    ”
    Ishookmyheadwi
    thapoundi
    nghear
    t.
    “Youarenotr
    idi
    ngalone,y
    ouar eridi
    ngwit
    hme.
    Come.”Hestr
    etchedhishand.Ilookedatt
    he
    horset
    henathim.
    “
    Can’
    twej
    ustst
    ayher
    e?Iwi
    l
    lseesomeot
    her
    t
    ime.
    ”
    “
    Youarecomingwit
    h.Come.I
    t’
    sget
    ti
    nglat
    e,
    t
    hesoonerwedothi
    sandcomebackthe
    bet
    ter
    .”
    Isl
    owl
    ywal
    kedov
    er.Ot
    engsmi
    l
    ed.
    “
    Youl
    ookl
    i
    kear
    eal
    cowgi
    rl
    .”
    Hehel
    pedmeonthehorsewhichthent
    ooka
    st
    epfor
    war
    d.Igr
    abbedhist
    -shir
    t.
    “
    Rel
    ax,
    hei
    snotgoi
    ngany
    wher
    e.”
    Minut
    esl
    aterhewasbehi
    ndmeandt hehor
    se
    wasmovi
    ngf or
    wardatagent
    lepace.
    “
    Whatar
    eyoupl
    anni
    ngt
    odowi
    tht
    hispl
    ace?
    ”
    “
    Get
    tingi
    ntoAgr
    icul
    tur
    e.I
    t’
    sani
    ndust
    rywhi
    ch
    r
    eal
    l
    ypays.”
    “
    That
    ’sagoodi
    dea,
    Agr
    icul
    tur
    eisal
    way
    sthe
    wayt
    ogo.”
    Otengki
    ssedmyneck.“
    Ithi
    nkMal
    cisdat
    ing
    Kefi
    .”
    “
    Kef
    il
    we?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Isn’
    tsheunder
    age?
    ”
    “Shei s,whenhecamef ortheDecember
    holi
    day stwomont hsbackIspoketohim about
    theissuebutt heheartwant swhati
    twants.
    Kefiwi l
    lbe18i ntwomont hs,herbi
    rt
    hdayis
    comi ngup.Weshoul djusthopeheholds
    himsel fti
    l
    lthen.”
    “
    Hecangot
    ojai
    lfordef
    il
    ement
    .”
    “Iexplai
    nedthattohim buthesayshel ov
    esher
    andt her
    eisnost oppi
    nghim whenheset shis
    mi ndtosomething.Whatwecandoi sguide
    him andcontainthemat t
    er.Youshouldget
    closewithKefi
    ,sheisgoingt obeyourdaughter
    i
    n- l
    awsoon.”
    “Ican’
    tbel
    iev
    ethis,
    babet
    hatgi
    rlwi
    l
    ltakemy
    sonstrai
    ghttoj
    ail
    .”
    “That
    ’swhyyouneedt ogetcloset
    oher.We
    needtomanagethis.Iam notsayi
    nggoandtel
    l
    hertoleav
    eyoursonalone,Icanseethel
    ove,
    i
    t’st
    here,
    itj
    ustneedstobenar
    tur
    ed.Iwanty
    ou
    tobeaparenttoKefi
    .Makesur
    enothing
    happensti
    ll
    herbir
    thdayatt
    hel
    east.
    ”
    “Not
    hingshoul
    dhappenti
    llshefini
    shesschool
    .
    Sheisdoi
    ngherfor
    m 5.Ican’tbeli
    eveMalc.
    ”
    “
    Youcan’tcontrol
    mat t
    ersoft
    hehear
    tbabe,
    y
    ouyourselfknowt hi
    s.”
    “
    Youar
    esor
    elaxedaboutt
    his.
    ”
    “You’v
    egottor elaxtoo.I
    fwearet oosharp,
    theywill
    star
    thidingf r
    om usandKef i
    ’s
    grandmotherwillfi
    ndout.Thatdemoni c
    womanwon’ tev enconsidernot
    hing,shewil
    l
    sendhim str
    aighttojail
    .”
    “
    Andshel
    acksunder
    standi
    ng.
    ”
    “SeewhatImean?I
    t’
    sbestwemanaget
    he
    sit
    uat
    ion.
    ”
    “
    Ok.Whati
    fKy
    rai
    sdat
    ingt
    oo?
    ”
    “
    No.Shei
    sonl
    yachi
    l
    d.”
    “Soonshewi
    l
    lbeMal
    c’
    sageandshewi
    l
    lbe
    daing.
    ”
    “
    Shewon'
    tdat
    eti
    l
    l25.Shei
    sjustachi
    l
    d.”
    “Yetyouappr
    oveofyoursondati
    nga17y
    ear
    old.Tal
    kaboutdoubl
    estandar
    ds.
    ”
    Thehorsestoppedmov
    ing,
    Ilookedatt
    heset
    upunderthetree.
    “
    Ist
    hatapi
    cni
    c?”
    “Yeah.
    ”Hegotdownandhelpedmedown.He
    l
    edmet ot
    hepicni
    csetupt
    henItookof
    fmy
    shoesandsatdownwithasmil
    e.
    “
    Thi
    sisbeaut
    if
    ulbabe…”
    Hesatbesi
    deme.“
    Howl
    onghasi
    tbeen?8
    year
    s?”
    “
    Almost9.9year
    sofmarr
    iage.12ofus.13i
    f
    weincl
    udetheot
    hery
    earwhereyouweremy
    f
    ri
    end.”
    “
    IswearIwassohappywheny
    ouwentt
    o
    Kasaneandf
    oundt
    hepr
    egnantwoman.
    ”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Wow!
    ”
    “Iknewrightt
    hereandthenthatGodhasf
    inal
    l
    y
    answeredmypr ayer
    s.Ihadbeenprayi
    ngf
    or
    yourbreakupforayear
    .”
    “
    Mxm…”
    Hekissedme.“ Iknewt herewassomet hing
    fi
    rstti
    meIsawy ou.Youwer eunconscious.And
    wheny ouwokeup, t
    hatsomet hi
    nggot
    confi
    rmed.Ihat edwai t
    ingbutIdon’tr
    egr etit
    .I
    woulddoi toveragai ni
    fIcould,Iam t
    hankf ul
    foryouinmyl if
    e, youmi ghthaveaveryrotten
    mout hbutIlovey ou,IguessIhavetodeal with
    thatfr
    om timetot imeagai n.
    ”
    Ilookeddownembarrassed.Het
    il
    tedmychi n.
    “Iwil
    lputupwit
    hit
    ,nottoler
    atei
    tbutputup
    withitj
    ustl
    ikey
    ouhav eputupwithmyhistory
    .
    Iloveyousomuch…”Het ookoutari
    ngf r
    om
    hispocket.
    “
    Mar
    rymeagai
    n.”
    Il
    aughedst ari
    ngathimt henatearrandown
    mycheekf oll
    owedbyt heother.“
    Yes.Iwould
    marryyouov eragainOteng.Iwoul
    ddoi ta
    mil
    li
    ont i
    mesagai n.Ican’
    tbeli
    eveyouare
    mine.”
    Het
    ookof
    fmyweddingr
    ingandr
    elacedwi
    th
    t
    henewdi
    amondone.
    “
    Ilov
    eit
    ,butIwi
    l
    lkeept
    hem bot
    h.”
    “
    It
    ’sok.
    ”
    Hepour
    edwinef
    orusthenhandedmeagl
    ass.
    It
    ookacoupl
    eofsi
    psandstart
    edsi
    ngi
    ng.

    Sai
    dIl
    ovedy
    oubutIl
    i
    ed
    ‘
    Causet
    hisi
    smor
    ethanl
    oveIf
    eel
    insi
    de
    Sai
    dIl
    ovedy
    oubutIwaswr
    ong
    ‘
    Causel
    ovecoul
    dnev
    erev
    erf
    eel
    sost
    rong
    Sai
    dIl
    ovedbutIl
    i
    ed

    “
    Youar
    eahor
    ri
    blesi
    nger
    .”
    It
    urnedlaughi
    ng.“Youarel
    yi
    ng,
    IcanbeMar
    iah
    Carey
    ’sbackupsinger.
    ”
    Heshookhi sheadasIt ookanothersi
    pofmy
    dri
    nkf i
    nishi
    ngthefi
    rstglass.“
    Nope,youare
    bad.Ihopey ouarenottheonet el
    l
    ingAlana
    thatshecansing.”
    Il
    aughedpour
    inganot
    heragai
    n.“
    Leav
    emy
    chi
    ldr
    enal
    one.Wecansing.
    ”
    “
    Waaai
    i
    i…”
    “
    Icoul
    dsi
    ngbacki
    npr
    imar
    yschool
    .”
    “Theteacherj
    ustl
    i
    kedyoubecausey
    ouwer
    e
    pret
    ty,youcan’
    tsi
    ngforshi
    t.
    ”
    It
    ookabi
    gsi
    pandputmygl
    assdownt
    hensat
    onhi
    m.
    “
    Thanky
    ouf
    orbr
    ingi
    ngmeher
    e.”
    “
    Youl
    oveat
    tent
    ion.
    ”
    Iki
    ssedhi
    m.“Il
    oveyou.Ithoughtyouwer
    e
    goi
    ngtofuckmeblueblacklastni
    ght.
    ”
    “
    Doesy
    ourf
    ami
    l
    yknowgor
    eor
    atadi
    ck?
    ”
    Ismackedhi
    mlaughi
    ng.“
    Idon’
    t.
    ”
    “Youdoandyouwoul ddoanyt
    hingtogetit
    .
    Youareaddi
    cted,It
    houghtIl
    ovedsexti
    llImet
    you.Orat
    apipibabe.
    ”
    Icrackedl
    aughi
    ngevenharderti
    llmyr
    ibs
    start
    edtohurt
    .“St
    opsayi
    ngt hat
    .”
    “
    Twoday scan’
    tgopastbefor
    ey oust
    artaski
    ng
    f
    ori
    t.Letmegivei
    ttoyou,akerewabata.”
    Iki
    ssedhi
    m andpushedhi
    m down.
    “
    Yes,Ishoul
    dgeti
    t,Iam y
    ourwi
    feandi
    t’
    smy
    r
    ight
    .”
    “
    Ther
    egoesmygi
    rl
    .”
    Ireachedformyglassandgulpeddownthe
    remainingwinet
    henposit
    ionedmyselfpr
    oper
    ly
    readytotakecont
    rol.

    *
    **

    Abestodwithhi
    sbrot
    her
    swhi
    l
    et heybr
    aai
    ed.
    Tendail
    ookedatTi
    no’
    snewgi
    rl
    fr
    iendand
    tur
    nedtohim.
    “Marri
    agei sall aboutf orgi
    vingyouknow.
    Relati
    onshipsi ngener alar
    eaboutf orgiv
    ing.No
    oneisper fectandsomepeopl emessupmor e
    thantheot herbutt hatdoesn’tmeant heydon’t
    l
    ov eyou.Iam goi ngt otelly
    out hi
    sasy our
    olderbrother,divorcei snotthewayt ogo.
    Beingcheat edonhur t
    sbuty ouaret heonewho
    saidyouwoul df orgiveherandwor kar oundit.
    Thereisnof orgivi
    ngwheny oukeept hesex
    tapeiny ourlaptop.I tblocksyoufrom mov i
    ng
    on.Youneedt odel
    etethatshitandfixyour
    marri
    age.Youarenotal i
    tt
    leboyany more.
    Tsotl
    heisyourwifeanddivorcingheriste
    bi
    ggestmistakeyouaregoingt omake.Tr ust
    meont hat.
    ”
    Abenodded.“ Il ovemywi f
    ebutt hingswould
    hav ebeendifferenthadIforgivenEaziforwhat
    happenedj ustlikeshehadf orgiv
    enmebef or
    e.
    Divorceisnott hewayt ogo, t
    hisshithappened
    8y earsback,it’
    st i
    met oputyourf amil
    y
    togetherandsor toutt
    hemess. "
    Ti
    nolookedathi
    sbr
    other
    s."
    Tsot
    lher
    eal
    l
    yhur
    t
    me."
    "I
    t'
    spar tofli
    fe.Shewasgoi ngbackt hen.Don't
    dot hi
    st oyourfami l
    y,Iam tel
    li
    ngy ouitwil
    l end
    i
    nt earsbecausesomef ool
    wi l
    lfi
    ndherand
    makeherabet terwife.Imaginehowmany
    yearsIwaitedt hi
    nkingEaziwi l
    ll
    eav ethatthug
    husbandofher sthathappenst obemy
    brother.
    "
    TinolookedatAbe."
    Kant
    emmeenewhyi
    she
    notinjai
    l?"
    Abeshr
    uggedsippi
    nghisbeer
    ."Hei
    ssmartand
    hei
    saquickthi
    nker,
    alsohehasmoney
    ."
    Tendail
    aughed."
    Heenjoy
    shismoneywit
    hhi
    gh
    peopl
    eupt her
    e,whatdoyouexpect
    ?"

    Meanwhi
    l
    ePhemel
    olaughedst
    ari
    ngatBar
    ati
    "Youshouldrel
    ax.Yourmani stouchy
    , i
    t'
    s
    somethingyouneedt oaccept.Kanayaanong
    youjustseem upt
    ightandboring.
    "
    "
    Iam j
    ustshy
    ."
    "
    Thr
    owt hatshynessout
    ,y ouseem l
    i
    ket
    het
    ype
    t
    oonlydomi ssi
    onaryst
    yle."
    Bar
    ati
    laughed."
    Nyaa,
    Idon'
    thav
    eapr
    obl
    em
    beingaf reakinsidet hehouse,thepubli
    cismy
    probl em.Icandoi tall
    behindcl
    oseddoor sbut
    outt hereIj ustgetsoshy .If
    eelever
    yoneis
    staringatus, Abeget swor sewhenIstart
    resisting.Myhear twillbepoundingtheenti
    re
    ti
    me. "
    Ti
    no'
    sgi
    rl
    fr
    iendwal
    kedov
    er.Bar
    ati
    sighed.
    "ImissTsot
    lhe.Kanasheal
    way
    sfi
    redt
    hings
    up."
    "Iwaswi
    thheryest
    erday
    .Sheboughtanewcar.
    Sheisev
    englowingli
    keshei
    snotbeingser
    ved
    withadi
    vor
    ce."
    Tino'
    sgir
    lf
    riendsatdownthentookouther
    phone.Phemelofini
    shedheral
    coholandstood
    up.Barat
    ilookedather.
    "
    Wakae?
    "
    "
    Let
    'sgoandgetTsot
    lhe.
    "
    Bar
    ati
    fol
    l
    owedPhemel
    otot
    hecarast
    he
    brot
    her
    swatched.Phemelost
    artedthecarand
    drov
    eoffwhi
    leBarat
    itookoutherri
    nging
    phone.
    "
    Hel
    l
    o?"
    "
    Wher
    ear
    eyouguy
    sgoi
    ng?
    "
    "
    Togetsomesnacks.Wear
    ecomi
    ng.
    "
    "
    Ok.Il
    ovey
    ou.
    "
    "
    Ilov
    eyout
    oo.
    "
    Baratihungupandsmil
    edwhil
    ePhemel
    odr
    ove
    st
    raighttoTsot
    lhe'
    shouse.
    Sheparkedbythegat
    ethentheybot
    hst
    epped
    outandwentinsi
    detoknock.
    Tsot
    lheopenedandsmi
    l
    ed."
    Hey
    ,comeoni
    n."
    "
    Goanddr
    essup.Wear
    egoi
    ng.
    "
    "
    Wher
    e?"
    "
    Dressup.
    "
    *

    AbewatchedasPhemel odr ovei


    nt hentheyall
    st
    eppedout.TinolookedatTsotlhelaughing
    wit
    htheladi
    es.Theywal kedinsi
    det hehouse
    wherePhemelofrownedst ari
    ngatTi no'
    s
    gi
    rl
    fri
    endinherkit
    chen.
    "
    Youar
    est
    il
    lher
    e?"
    Thegi
    rl
    fr
    iendl
    ookedatTsot
    lhe."
    Mymani
    sst
    il
    l
    her
    e"
    "
    Yourmani
    samar
    ri
    edmanhun.Hei
    snot
    y
    ours.
    "
    Thegi
    rl
    fri
    endl
    ookedatTsotl
    hereadytosay
    somet
    hingbutTsot
    lher
    aisedherhand.
    "
    Don'
    t.Iam noty
    ourf
    ri
    end.
    "
    Sherol
    l
    edherey
    esandwal
    kedout
    .Tsot
    lhesat
    down.
    "
    Iam notgoi
    ngt
    ofi
    ghtf
    orTi
    no,
    ifhewant
    sto
    l
    eaveit'
    sfine.I
    'dr
    atherhavehi
    ml eav
    et han
    hopinghewoul df
    orgiv
    emewhenhej ustwon't
    .
    Iam goingtomoveonwi thmylif
    e.Iwon'tcry
    overspi
    ltmilk.
    "

    *
    **

    Outside,Ti
    no'
    sgi
    rlf
    ri
    endlookedatTi
    no.
    "Ican'
    t
    stayhere.Youar
    eusingme.Ifyouar
    edivorci
    ng
    herthenwhatisshedoinghere?
    "
    "
    Arey
    ouser
    iousr
    ightnow?
    "
    "Yes.Iam l
    eavingifyouwon'ttakemehome.I
    am donewithy ou.It
    'sov
    erbetweenus.Iknow
    mywor thandIwi l
    lnotsett
    leforbei
    ngyour
    secondbest."
    ShewalkedawaythenTinosi
    ppedhisdr
    ink
    wal
    kinginsi
    dethehousewhereTsot
    lhewas
    hol
    dingaglassofwinel
    aughi
    ngwithPhemelo
    andBar
    ati
    .
    "
    Canwet
    alk?
    "
    Tsot
    lheputhergl
    assdownandf
    oll
    owedbehi
    nd
    Ti
    no.
    "
    Whatar
    eyoudoi
    ngher
    e?"
    "Myfriendscamet ogetme.Justbecausey ou
    andIar egetti
    ngadiv or
    ce,
    itdoesn'tmeanIcut
    them off.Iam notevenbother
    ingy ou.Ihave
    acceptedt hediv
    orceandI'
    m alreadymov ing
    on."
    "
    Youar
    eal
    readymov
    ingonwi
    thwho?
    "
    "
    Weagr
    eedt
    oonl
    ydi
    scusst
    heki
    ds.
    "
    Ti
    nol
    ookedatherf
    orawhi
    l
    ethenhesi
    ghed.
    "
    Sitdown,
    Iwantust
    otal
    k."
    Theybothsatattheoutdoorchai
    rsfaci
    ngthe
    pool.Shel
    ookedathim ashebattledwi
    thwhat
    tosay.Shereachedoverandtouchedhi
    shand.
    "Iam tr
    ulysorry.Ireall
    yam.Ihur tyou,
    humili
    atedy ouandf orthatIam sor r
    y.Iwil
    l
    keepapologizingtill
    youf orgi
    v eme.Iam not
    goingtofightyou.Ihav enor ighttoTi
    no.Iam
    thereasonwear eher etoday.Ifi
    t'
    sthatgir
    lyou
    wantthent hat'
    sfine.Iam notgoi ngtostand
    hereandmaket hingsdi f
    ficul
    tforyou."
    Her
    ubbedhi
    sfacet
    henst
    oodup.
    "Abesai
    dthepast
    orathi
    schurchoffercoupl
    e
    counsel
    i
    ng.Wewillgot
    ohim ever
    yday."
    "
    Forhowl
    ong?
    "
    "Forthr
    eemonths.Ifhecanhelpusthenwe
    canhaltthedi
    vorceprocessandi
    fnotthenwe
    will
    goourseparateway s.
    "
    Tsot
    lhenodded."
    Fai
    renough.Whatabouty
    our
    gi
    rl
    fr
    iend?
    "
    "
    It
    'sov
    er.Iwi
    l
    lbacki
    ntomor
    row.
    "
    Shewat
    chedwal
    kawaywi
    thasmi
    l
    ethen
    cl
    osedherey
    essi
    lent
    lypr
    aying.Godi
    fthi
    s
    marr
    iagewasmeantt
    obe,itwill
    be.

    *
    **

    Tashalookedatherengagementr i
    ngwitha
    smil
    et hentookherphonegoingthroughsome
    weddinggowns.Shesav edacoupleofpictur
    es
    i
    nherphonewhi ledaughtersuckedonher
    ni
    pplekicki
    ngtheair.
    Shewentont oherFacebookandscr oll
    ed
    thr
    oughf orwhil
    e.Shepausedcomi ngacross
    peopleyouknowt henl
    ookedatEazi'
    sfacebook
    account
    .Shet appedandwentt oherprif
    il
    e
    whereherpictureswere.Gui
    ltsl
    owlycreeped
    onherthenshet ookadeepbreat
    handt ypeda
    l
    ongapol ogymessage.Sher eadthr
    oughit
    befor
    esendingit .
    Gi
    nawal
    kedi
    nhol
    dingTasha'
    sfood.
    "
    Isentanapol
    ogymessaget
    oEazi
    ."
    Ginasmil
    ed."
    Iam sur
    eshewi
    l
    lappr
    eci
    atei
    t.I
    haveyourf
    ood."
    Gi
    nahandedTashat
    hepl
    atet
    hent
    ookt
    hebaby
    .
    "
    Iam sohappyf
    ory
    ou.Fi
    nal
    l
    yhei
    smar
    ryi
    ng
    y
    ou.
    "
    Tashasmil
    ed."
    Iam sohappyt
    oo.It
    houghthe
    wouldnev
    ermarryme."
    Ginalaidthebabydownandsi ghed."
    Your
    brothersleftthei
    rkidsherewit
    hme.Iam so
    ti
    red,theyar ealot.Theybet
    terbehereat8p.
    m
    tocollectthem.Ial sowantt
    oenjoymyFr i
    day.
    "

    FI
    VEYEARSLATER

    .
    .
    .
    Conf
    essi
    onsOfAWi
    fe

    #143

    InSantorini
    , Greece,Tsotl
    hestoodbyt he
    balconyoft hehot eltheywerest ayi
    nginsippi
    ng
    herfreshor angej ui
    cewhilestaringatstunni
    ng
    viewov erthecal der
    a.Thedoorbel lr
    angthen
    shewal kedbacki ntheroom tyinghernight
    gownandopened.Thehot elstaffsmiled.
    “Goodmor
    ningMr
    s.Taf
    ir
    a,br
    eakf
    asti
    s
    serv
    ed.
    ”
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Sheopenedthedoorwiderall
    owi
    ngf
    orthelady
    towal
    kin.Sheputever
    y t
    hingont
    hetabl
    e.
    “
    Enj
    oyyourmealandifther
    ei sany
    thi
    ngy
    ou
    mayneed,
    don’
    thesi
    tatetoringus.
    ”
    “
    Ofcause,
    thanky
    ousomuch.
    ”
    Theladysmil
    edandwalkedoutwhi
    l
    eTsot l
    he
    l
    ookedatthedeli
    ciousf
    ood.Ti
    nowalkedout
    fr
    om thebat
    hroom.
    “
    Ist
    hatourf
    ood?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Fuck,
    Iam st
    arv
    ing.
    ”
    Hesatdownandst
    art
    edt
    oeat
    .
    “
    Bat
    hongTi
    no,
    Ihav
    en’
    ttakenmypi
    ctur
    e.”
    Hel
    aughed.“
    Youwi
    l
    ltaket
    omor
    row.
    ”
    Shesatdownandstart
    edeati
    ngt
    hedel
    ici
    ous
    food.“
    Ilov
    either
    e.Iwi
    shIcanst
    ayf
    orever
    .”
    “
    Doy
    ouhav
    ethemoneyt
    ost
    ayher
    efor
    ever
    ?”
    Tsot
    lhel
    aughed.“
    Mxm.
    ”
    Hekissedhercheek.“
    Aweeki
    senough.Wear
    e
    goi
    nghomenextweekend.”
    “
    Iwoul
    dhav
    erel
    axedabi
    t.Af
    tert
    his,
    weshoul
    d
    got
    othepool
    .”
    “
    Yeah…Ican’
    tbel
    i
    eveMal
    col
    misget
    ti
    ng
    marr
    ied.
    ”
    “
    Timef
    li
    esandpeopl
    egr
    ow.I
    sAbegoi
    ng?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    “
    Doy
    out
    hinkhei
    scompl
    etel
    yov
    erEazi
    ?”
    “No.hel ov
    esherbutsomet i
    mesy ouhave
    acceptcertainthingsandt r
    ymov i
    ngonwi th
    whaty ouhav e.Iknowf orsurehel ovesBarar
    ti
    ,
    notasmuchashewoul dhavelovedEazi i
    fshe
    wasst i
    l
    lwithhim buthel ovesheri nherown
    certainway.Somet imesl oveonlyisnotenough.
    Itneedssomeef forttoo.Baratii
    sagood
    womanandshel ov esmybr other
    whol ehear
    tedly.
    ”
    “
    Shel
    oveshi
    m mor
    ethanhel
    ovesher
    .”
    “Ther
    ealwayshastobesomeonelov
    ingmore.
    ”
    Tinoshr
    ugged.“
    It
    ’sl
    if
    e.Nowenoughabout
    t
    hose,
    wher
    edoy
    ouwantt
    ogof
    ir
    st?Imadea
    l
    i
    st.
    ”

    *
    **

    Ontl
    ametsi
    walkedoutoft
    hehousewi
    th
    Akanyangl
    ocki
    ngbehindt
    hem.Shel
    ookedat
    theti
    me.
    “
    Wear
    egoi
    ngt
    obel
    ate.
    ”
    “
    Wewi
    l
    lmakei
    t.
    ”
    Theygoti
    nthecart
    henOnt
    lat
    ookouther
    phonecal
    l
    ingAme.
    “
    Mama…”
    “
    Ihav
    ebeent
    ryi
    ngt
    ogethol
    dofy
    ou.
    ”
    “Iam sor
    ry.Iwassleepi
    ng.Ihadal
    ongni
    ght
    .
    Youleftt
    ooearly.
    ”
    “
    Imi
    ssedmyhusbandt
    ooAme.Youhav
    eto
    takecar eofyourdaughter
    ,learnhowt odoit
    alone.Youar eamar r
    iedwomanandy ouhave
    tomakei twork.Soonyouar egoingbackto
    wor kandy ouwi l
    lhav
    etobal ancebetween
    wor k,beingamom andbei ngawi f
    e.Fi
    nda
    way .”
    “
    NowIunder
    standwher
    eLesegoi
    scomi
    ng
    f
    rom.
    ”
    “Don’tl
    ist
    ent othatonewhodoesn’twantt o
    sett
    le.Idon’tknowwhatf unsheistal
    ki
    ng
    abouthav i
    ngbutal l
    thatwillev
    apor
    atewhen
    shemeet samanwhowi l
    l sweepheroffher
    feet
    .Shehast hatl
    oudmout hbecauseshe
    hasn’tmethi m.”
    “
    Youar
    eri
    ght
    ,Ihav
    etogo.Shei
    swake.
    ”
    “
    Goodl
    uck!
    ”
    Ontl
    ahungupandputonherseat
    bel
    twhi
    l
    e
    Akanyangdr
    ovet
    othechur
    ch.
    “
    DidIt
    ell
    yout
    haty
    oul
    ookbeaut
    if
    ul?
    ”
    “
    No.
    ”
    “
    Youl
    ookbeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    Shesmi
    l
    ed.“
    Youl
    ookhandsome.
    ”
    Akany
    angsmil
    edt
    henheldherhandwi
    thone
    handdri
    vi
    ngwi
    tht
    heother
    .

    ((
    Copyri
    ght@2020byFezMat
    siki
    ti
    .+267
    75447725
    Allr
    ight
    sreserved: Nopar toft hi
    sbookshal l be
    repr
    oduced,distri
    buted, orusedi nanyfor m or
    byanymeans, electronic,photocopy i
    ng,
    mechanical
    lyorot herwise,withoutthepr ior
    writ
    tenpermissionoft heaut hor.Anyper son
    whodoesunaut hor i
    zedwor ksinr el
    ati
    ont othis
    publi
    cat
    ionwi l
    lbel i
    ablet ocriminalprosecution.
    )
    )

    *
    **
    Li
    napushedthebabystr
    oll
    erwit
    hherson
    i
    nsidewhi
    leTheofoll
    owedhol
    dingHope’shand.
    Theybot
    hwalkedinsi
    dethechurchandsat
    down.
    “
    Wow…”
    “
    Iknow,
    it’
    sbeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    “
    Wher
    eist
    heweddi
    ngr
    ecept
    ionbei
    nghel
    d?”
    “Eazisaidshebookedaplacef ort
    herecepti
    on
    butjustpartofit
    ,ther
    estwil
    ltakeplaceat
    Malcolm’suncle’
    shousewherehewi l
    lgethi
    s
    wifetradi
    ti
    onall
    y.”
    “
    That
    ’si
    nter
    est
    ing.
    ”
    “
    Iti
    s,y
    ouwi
    l
    lseei
    tal
    ltoday
    .Letmecal
    lher
    …”
    Li
    nat
    ookoutherphoneandcal
    l
    edEazi
    .
    “
    Hey
    …”
    “
    Wear
    eal
    readyatchur
    ch.
    ”
    “
    Wear
    ecomi
    ng.Howi
    sthebaby
    ?”
    “
    Fine.Youout
    didy
    our
    sel
    f,i
    t’
    sbeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    “
    Itwasn’
    tmeal
    one.Butt
    hanks.
    ”
    “
    KanammakeboneLebot
    ha.(
    IsawLebot
    ha.
    )”
    “
    Youhav
    est
    art
    ed.
    ”
    Linal
    aughed.“Kesantsekeemetsekarma
    yagagwe.(Iam st
    il
    lwait
    ingf
    orherkarma.
    )She
    j
    ustcan’tbehappy.Ir
    efuse.
    ”
    “Youwillwai
    tti
    ll
    theendofti
    mebecauseImet
    hertheothert
    ime,appar
    ent
    lytheyar
    egoi
    ng
    places.
    ”
    “
    Godi
    swat
    chi
    ngt
    hem.Iwi
    l
    lseey
    ou.
    ”
    “
    Shar
    p.”
    Li
    nahungupt henrai
    sedherheadandsmi l
    edat
    Binawhowassi t
    ti
    ngwithherhusbandandkids.
    Binasmil
    edbackbeforetur
    ningherat
    tent
    ion
    backtoherhusbandwhowast alki
    ngtoher.
    *
    **

    Phatsi
    mof ini
    shedprepari
    ngthebreakf
    astt
    hen
    puteveryt
    hingonthetrayandwalkedwithi
    tto
    thebedroom whereTashawassl eepi
    ng.Heput
    ever
    y t
    hingonthebedsi deandshookTasha
    gentl
    y.
    “
    Babe,
    wakeup.
    ”
    Tashaopenedherey
    esandl
    ookedathi
    m.
    “What?
    ”
    “
    Breakf
    ast
    .Wakeup.
    ”
    Sheslowl
    ysatupr
    ightandl
    ookedathi
    m wi
    tha
    smil
    e.“I
    sthatf
    orme? ’
    “
    HappyBi
    rt
    hdaybabe…
    “
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Het
    ookt
    het
    rayandst
    art
    edf
    eedi
    ngher
    .
    “
    Wear
    efl
    yi
    ngt
    oTanzani
    aforaweekendaway
    .”
    “
    Iam al
    readyexci
    ted.Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    “
    No,youthankyouf
    orbei
    ngmyev
    ery
    thi
    ngev
    en
    t
    houghyourbrot
    her
    ssti
    ll
    hat
    eme.
    ”
    “Theywillgetoveri
    t.What
    every
    ousaidthat
    dayhelped,Tinoissti
    l
    lwit
    hTsotl
    he.Ther
    eare
    nodivorces.”
    “
    Igoty
    ouy
    ourpr
    esent
    .”Hehandedherabox.
    Curi
    ousl
    ysheopeneditandt
    ookoutthecar
    key
    s.Herhear
    tpoundedasshelookedatthe
    key
    s.
    “
    Babe?
    ”
    “
    It
    ’sout
    side.
    ”
    Shejumpedofft
    hebed,leg’
    sshaki
    ngandwent
    outsi
    dewhereablackAudiTTwasparkedwi
    th
    aredribbononi
    t.
    “
    It
    ’smi
    nebaby
    ?”
    “
    Your
    sonl
    y.
    ”
    Tearsfi
    ll
    edherey
    es,sheunlockedi
    tandgoti
    n.
    AtearrandownhercheekthenPhatsi
    mo
    walkedover
    .
    “
    Youdeser
    vei
    tandmor
    e.”
    “
    Ilov
    eit
    .”
    Hewi pedawayhert
    ear
    s.“Nowreadyt
    ofl
    yto
    Tanzania,
    Zanzi
    bari
    scal
    li
    ngforus.
    ”
    Sheputherhandsoverherf
    acecryi
    ngwit
    h
    happi
    ness.Phat
    simopull
    edheroutoft
    hecar
    andhuggedher.
    “
    Ourf
    li
    ghtl
    eav
    esi
    nanhour
    .”
    Tsotl
    hemov edbackandlaughedhappi
    l
    ytr
    ying
    tocontr
    olhertear
    s.“
    Ineedtopack.”
    “Ial
    readypacked,
    all
    youneedt
    odoi
    sbat
    h.
    Let’
    sgoi n.
    ”
    Tsot
    lhelookedatherbr
    andnewcaragai
    nwi
    th
    asmilebeforewal
    kingi
    nthehouse.
    *
    **

    Tseosmiledst
    ari
    ngatt
    hef
    ini
    shedhousewi
    th
    hermother.
    “
    Thi
    sisbeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    “
    Iknow,
    Ican’
    tbel
    i
    eveAbehadi
    trenov
    atedt
    o
    t
    his.
    ”
    Hermothersmil
    ed.“Ican’
    tbel
    iev
    eherenov
    ated
    ahousethathebuil
    tfewyearsbackt
    o
    somethi
    ngevenbigger.
    ”
    “
    Hel
    ovesy
    ou.
    ”
    Hermothershookherheadt
    ear
    ful
    l
    y.“
    Idon’
    t
    deser
    vehislov
    e.”
    “Youdeserv
    eitandmore.Youarej
    usthuman.
    Youwer eachi
    ldandheunderst
    andsthat
    .The
    restdon’
    tmatt
    er.
    ”
    “Yest
    erdayGi
    nacal
    l
    edme.Wehadaci
    vi
    l
    conver
    sati
    on.
    ”
    “Thatwomani sagoodwoman.Il oveher ,
    she
    treatsmel i
    keherdaughter.Iwast al
    kingto
    mmagweRonnyt heothertimeandshet ol
    dme
    Ginanev erli
    kedherbuttheseday sit’
    sli
    ket hat
    nev erhappened.Sheisquicktoletgoand
    mov eon.Herreact
    ionwheny ouf i
    rstshowed
    upwasnor mal,shewasamot hertryi
    ngto
    protectherchil
    d.”
    “
    Iknow.Godbl
    essher
    .”
    Tseolaughed.“Godfor
    givemebutIam happy
    Ronnytookafterhi
    sfather
    ’sl
    ooks.
    ”
    “MmagweRonnyi smarr
    iedtothatni
    cepil
    ot
    guy,t
    hisgoesontoshowthatbeautyi
    sthe
    eyesofthebehol
    der
    .”
    Tseo’sphonerangthensheansweredher
    husband’scal
    lwalki
    ngtohercar.Hermot
    her
    walkedinsi
    dethenewlyrenov
    atedhousethen
    herphoner
    angaswel
    l.Shetooki
    tout
    wonderi
    ngwhowascall
    ing.
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?”
    “
    Hel
    l
    o?I
    t’
    sMaxwel
    l
    ,I-
    “
    “Idon’twantany
    thingtodowi t
    hy ou,
    please
    respectmeandst opbotheri
    ngme.Iam get t
    ing
    sickandtir
    edofthis.Thankyou.”
    Tseo’
    smotherhungupandblockedthenumber
    .
    Shepeacef
    ull
    ycont
    inuedv
    iewinghernew
    house.

    *
    **

    Kyra’
    sheelsechoedasshewal
    kedi
    nsi
    det
    he
    householdi
    ngherphone.
    “
    Mama!
    ”
    Al
    anawal
    kedoutofherr
    oom i
    nherdr
    essanda
    l
    ongpony
    tai
    l
    .“Shei
    sst
    il
    ldr
    essi
    ng.
    ”
    Kyr
    alookedathersi
    ster
    ’smake-
    upandsmi
    l
    ed.
    “Weshouldgetgoi
    ng.Theyar
    ewait
    ing.
    ”
    Kyra’
    sphonerangt
    henshewalkedt
    othe
    ki
    tchenansweri
    ngwit
    hablush.

    *
    **

    Meanwhi
    leIpi
    ckedmyhandbagt
    henlookedat
    mysel
    fonthemirr
    oronel
    astt
    imeandwalked
    out
    .Al
    anagasped.
    “
    Noway
    s!”
    “
    What
    ?It
    ’snotni
    ce?
    ”
    “
    Mama,
    youar
    enott
    hebr
    ide.
    ”
    “
    Iknow…”
    “
    Ngng,
    youar
    edr
    essedl
    i
    ket
    hebr
    ide.
    ”
    “
    Am It
    hatbeaut
    if
    ul?
    ”
    “
    Wai
    tti
    ll
    Iposty
    ouonInst
    a,theywon’tbel
    i
    eve
    y
    ouar
    emymot her
    .Ky
    ralooksoldert
    hanyou.
    ”
    Kyrapausedwalki
    nginthesitt
    ingroom wi
    thher
    phoneinherhandsthenlookedatmymer maid
    Germanyprintdr
    esswithatrai
    l.“
    Mama! ”
    “
    Weshoul
    dgo,
    Ilookbeaut
    if
    ul,
    Iknow.
    ”
    Ky
    ralaughedfoll
    owingbehi
    nd.“
    Tsenawena
    moghel!Youarethegir
    l!
    ”
    Il
    aughed.“
    Iam wi
    thi
    n.I
    nsi
    de!
    ”
    WewalkedouttowhereOtengwasstandi
    ng
    wi
    thMalcandOtsi
    le.Ismil
    edhuggi
    ngMalc
    whowasdressedsmartl
    yinhissui
    t.
    “
    Youl
    ooksobi
    g.”
    Mal
    claughed.“
    Youl
    ookbeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    Isteppedbackandfi
    xedhisjacket.“
    Areyou
    readyforthi
    s?Yourf
    ather
    ’sunclesareal
    ready
    atchur ch.
    ”
    “
    Iknow,
    Ijustspoket
    othem.
    ”
    “I
    t’
    sashameMoemedi i
    sdead,thisis
    somethi
    ngIhopedhewoul dsee.Binasai
    dshe
    i
    swi t
    hyoursi
    ster
    s.Shebroughtthem bot
    h.”
    “
    Jessi
    caandOnal
    enna?
    ”
    “
    Yes.
    ”
    Otengpul
    l
    edmei nhisarmsandki
    ssedmy
    neck.“
    Youlookbeaut
    if
    ul.
    ”
    “
    Ifeel
    sool
    d.Iam begi
    nni
    ngt
    ohav
    ewr
    inkl
    es.
    ”
    Otenglaughed.“
    Youdon’thav
    ewri
    nkl
    es,y
    ou
    havegottenmorebeauti
    ful
    .Youar
    ematuri
    ng
    l
    ikefi
    newi ne.
    ”Hekissedme.
    “
    Mal
    col
    misget
    ti
    ngmar
    ri
    ed,
    cany
    oubel
    i
    evei
    t?”
    “
    MamaIcanheary
    ou.
    ”
    “Heevenl
    ooksli
    keaman.Hehasbear
    dandal
    l
    .
    Soonheisgoi
    ngtohav
    ekids.
    ”
    “
    Likeheshoul
    d.Weshoul
    dgo.
    ”
    “
    Iam r
    idi
    ngwi
    tht
    hegi
    rl
    s.”
    “
    Ok.
    ”
    Iwalkedtothewhit
    eC-63AMGandgoti nwit
    h
    thegir
    lswhileOt
    enggoti
    nanothercarwi
    thhis
    sons.Irever
    sedanddr
    oveheadedtothechur
    ch
    whil
    eOt engdrov
    ebehi
    ndme.
    “
    Mamawhydidyoul
    ett
    hem hostt
    heweddi
    ng
    wheny
    our
    aisedMal
    cal
    one?”
    IlookedatSummer .“Ididn’trai
    sehim al
    one.
    Mal c’
    suncleswereal sot here.Theymayhave
    notbeenther eal
    lthet i
    mebutt heywerether
    e.
    Mal col
    misMal col
    m Moka, theMoka’sarehi
    s
    fami l
    yandhisunclewi ll
    hostbecausehenow
    playstheroleofMal com’ sdad.”
    “
    Butdaddyi
    sther
    e.”
    “Heisandhewi l
    lalwaysbeMal c’
    sfather
    .Kyra
    howdoIexpl ai
    nthis…PapaisnotMal c’
    sreal
    fat
    her,
    youknowt hatbutatheartheisMal c’
    s
    fat
    herbecauseher ai
    sedhim,lovedhi
    m and
    caredf
    orhim.Mal c’
    srealf
    atherdiedandwhen
    hedied,hisol derbrotherremainedapar tof
    Malc’
    sl i
    fe.Hewasn’ tthereall
    thetimebuthe
    keptthelinkthat’swhyMal ccanv i
    sithimfreel
    y.
    TodayMal cisgetti
    ngmar ri
    ed,heisMal cMoka
    notBogat suandhi sf amilyofori
    ginwi l
    lhost
    becausei t
    ’stheirri
    ghtt o.Wewi l
    lgot hereand
    cel
    ebratet herebecauseMal cismysonas
    muchashei sDaddy ’sson.That’
    sall.It’
    sli
    ke
    yourrealmot her,shewi llal
    wayshav etheupper
    handov ery outhanme. ”
    “Shewon’
    t.Your
    aisedmeandyoucomefir
    sti
    n
    myhearthencey
    ouwi l
    lal
    way
    shavetheupper
    hand.
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    ed.“
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    “
    Ilov
    eyoumor
    e.”
    Ky
    rat
    ookoutherphone.
    “
    Let
    ’st
    akeasel
    fi
    e.”
    Alanal
    eanedoverposi
    ngwit
    huswhileKy
    ra
    snapedaphoto.Herphoner
    angf
    lashi
    ngamal
    e
    name.Il
    ookedatherasshequi
    ckl
    ycuti
    tthen
    smil
    ed.
    “I
    fyourfat
    herf
    indsoutt
    haty
    ouar
    enowdat
    ing,
    hewill
    gomadcr azy
    .”
    Kyralaughed.“
    Iam sogl
    adIst
    ayi
    nGabs
    becauseofschool
    ,Papaist
    oomuch.
    ”
    “
    Becausehel
    ovesy
    ouguy
    ssomuch.
    ”
    Alanal
    aughed.“
    KanapapachasedWalterthe
    othert
    ime.Hescar
    edhim somuchWalter
    doesn’
    ttal
    ktomeanymore.Walteri
    sgay.”
    Ij
    oinedinlaughi
    ng.“Hedoesn’
    tknowt hat
    .
    Father
    sarejustoverpr
    otect
    iveofthei
    r
    daughter
    s,that’
    showiti
    s.”
    IparkedthecarandsteppedoutasOt eng
    steppedoutwiththeboys.Theywalkedinsi
    de
    thechurchwhil
    eIwentatchur chr
    oom wher e
    Kefiwasinawhi t
    esleevl
    essgownwi than
    overski
    rt
    .Shelookedatmewi thasmi l
    e.
    “
    MyGod!Youl
    ookdazzl
    i
    ng.
    ”
    Kef
    itear
    ful
    l
    ysmi
    l
    ed.“
    Thanky
    ou.
    ”
    Iwal
    kedov erandhuggedher.“Iam happyt
    his
    i
    shappeni ngwheny ouhavefinishedwit
    h
    uni
    versi
    ty.Pleasedon’tbei
    nahur r
    ytohave
    ki
    ds,enj
    oyy ourl
    i
    ves.”
    “
    Eemma.
    ”
    “Youlooksobeaut
    if
    ul,
    Ican’
    twai
    ttoshowy
    ou
    off.
    ”
    Kef
    ilaughed.“
    Ilov
    eyou.
    “
    Ilov
    eyout
    oomybaby
    .”
    Ihuggedheronel
    astt
    imet
    henst
    eppedback.
    “Don’
    tcry
    .”
    Hergr
    admot
    herwal
    kedi
    nandl
    ookedatme.
    “
    Eazi
    .
    ”
    “
    Ma,
    thi
    sisawonder
    ful
    day
    ,”
    “
    Iti
    s,weneedt
    opr
    ayf
    ori
    tandcov
    eri
    twi
    tht
    he
    bl
    oodofJesus.
    ”
    Shestartedprayi
    ngaswecl osedoureyes.
    MinuteslaterIwal
    kedoutandwenti nsi
    dethe
    churchsitt
    ingbesi
    demyhusband.Ot engput
    hi
    sar m aroundmyshoulderandkissedmy
    cheek.
    “
    Heymama…”
    Il
    ookedathi
    m smi
    l
    ing.“
    Babydaddy
    …”
    Heki ssedmyl ipswithasmi lethenwebot h
    turnedt othefr
    ontasev ery
    oneset tl
    ed.Penny
    wal kedinandsatdownbehi nduswi thKeit
    h.
    Ther everendstoodi nfrontoft hechurchwit
    h
    Mal cwhol ookedhandsomeasev erthena
    songcameon.Kef islowlywal keddownt he
    aislewithhergr andmotherwhogav eheraway
    befor esit
    ti
    ng.
    Iwat
    chedwi
    thasmil
    eastheRev
    erend
    wel
    comedusal
    landsai
    dacoupl
    eofverses.
    Abewal
    kedi
    nwi
    thBar
    ati
    andsatopposi
    teus.I
    turnedmyey esandl ookedathi m whi speri
    ng
    somet hingt oBar atiwhoseemedal lshy.He
    turnedandl ookedatMal cwi t
    hapr oudlook
    beforelocki ngeyeswi thme.Hesl owlysmi led
    l
    ooki ngrighti nmyey eswi thacer tainlookI
    couldn’tevenexpl ain.Myhear tpounded
    excitedl
    yasgoosebumpser uptedonmyski n.I
    l
    ookedathi m unabl etoev ensmi l
    eback, he
    winkedatme, Ichuckl edlooki ngawaywhi le
    resti
    ngmyheadonOt eng’schestl ist
    eningto
    theRev erend.Ot engki ssedmyf orehead
    holdingmecl oser .Iraisedmyheadandl ooked
    athimf eelingcont ent.
    “
    Ilov
    eyou.
    ”
    Hesmiledt
    henwhisper
    ed.“Il
    ovey
    out
    oobut
    youknowwhatel
    seIlove?”
    Ishookmyheadthenhewhi
    sper
    edi
    nmyear
    .I
    giggl
    edpi
    nchi
    ngplay
    ful
    ly
    .
    “
    Youar
    esodi
    rt
    y…wear
    einchur
    ch.
    ”
    “
    Godwi
    l
    lunder
    stand.
    ”
    Ismi
    l
    edandtur
    nedbackt
    otheRev
    erenduni
    te
    mysonwi
    thKefi
    lwe.

    THEEND….

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