Glee 3x07: I Kissed A Girl

Rewrite by Jon D Arthur

Original script by Matthew Hodgson et. al.

 Glee’s Third Season Episode "I Kissed A Girl" was really
not a good hour of television. It was a poor culmination
of plots that had been chugging away surprisingly well.
Beiste and Cooter had been dating but Cooter was having
trouble getting through to Beiste. Quinn fell into the
worst storyline ever and tried to get baby Beth back from
Shelby, who was secretly making out with Puck. Rachel
dropped out of the student election to help Kurt’s
chances, and because it was selfish that she was running
in the first place. Yes, it was selfish even by her
standards. Finn outed Santana in a hallway which lead to
an attack ad on Sue that will out Santana to the entire
state of Ohio. That’s not very nice, AND THAT’S WHAT YOU
MISSED ON GLEE.

1 EXT. LIONEL Q. FRUMP MEMORIAL PARK - FRIDAY 1400 1

ON-SCREEN TEXT: Friday.
It’s a beautiful, sunny day. BRITTANY S. PIERCE AND
SANTANA LOPEZ sit on a CHECKERED BLANKET. There is a
PICNIC BASKET next to them. Santana reaches in and removes
two GLASSES and a bottle of SPARKLING CIDER.
SANTANA
Well, it’s a lovely day, so I’d
like to raise a toast.
BRITTANY
To what? The sun? Because I hear
he’s a real jerk.

SANTANA
(Laughing)
No, not to the sun.
BRITTANY
Well, who are we toasting then?

SANTANA
Well...
FADE TO:

2 INT. FIGGINS’ OFFICE - FRIDAY 1400 2

SHELBY CORCORAN, WILL SCHUESTER, FINN HUDSON and Santana
sit opposite PRINCIPAL FIGGINS. Everyone is uncomfortable.
Figgins looks stern. It is exactly one week to the hour
before Sc. 1.
ON-SCREEN TEXT: 7 DAYS AND 2 MINUTES EARLIER.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 2.

FIGGINS
There are two things I will not
tolerate in this school: vampires
and violence.

Shelby, confused, mouths "Vampires?"

SANTANA
That is such crap, and you know
it. Kurt had to change schools
because-
FIGGINS
Because of threats of violence.
They were not actual threats!

SANTANA
And I guess that’s why every time
he put on a new hideous outfit
for Glee Club, we all caught
sight of those not-actual bruises
that lined the entire side of his
body. You know, the locker shaped
ones?
FIGGINS
There were no witnesses to
anything. Neither I, nor Sue in
my absence, could act.
SANTANA
There were plenty of witnesses to
all the slushies that get thrown
at us.
FIGGINS
There is nothing harmful about a
slushie according-

SANTANA
What if someone puts something in
it?
FIGGINS
ACCORDING to the the guidelines
set by the school board. Again,
there is nothing I could do. You
violated the school’s
non-violence policy, and for that
a suspension is in order.

WILL
A suspension? Don’t you think
that’s a little bit of an
overreaction?

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 3.

SANTANA
Great, so I slap Finn, I get
suspended, but if a guy torments
people he gets a parade because
he happens to be on the football
team. That is such a double
standard.
SHELBY
Honestly, Santana, I wish that
was what was going on here, but
both me and Mr. Schuester have
spent all week dealing with the
fact that both New Directions and
the Troubletones have been at
each other’s throats, and we both
know who was fanning the flames.
FINN
I didn’t get slapped.

Everyone turns to Finn suddenly, confused.

WILL
Finn? What are you saying?
FINN
Santana didn’t slap me. It was,
uh... what do you call it when
it’s a slap but it’s a play so it
isn’t a slap?
SHELBY
A stage slap?
FINN
Yeah. It was a stage slap. That’s
it.

Will shoots Finn a glance. Finn mouths the word "please".

WILL
(Hesitantly, turning to face
Shelby)
I guess we weren’t really paying
attention, were we? We just saw
the aftermath of the... stage
slap.
CUT TO:
 4.

3 INT. MCKINLEY CORRIDORS - FRIDAY 1410 3

Santana and Finn, outside Figgins’ office. The halls are
busy - classes have just changed. The pair are walking,
moving towards a set of stairs.

SANTANA
What the hell, Finn?
FINN
I don’t get why you did what you
did, Santana. Just tell me why
you slapped me.
SANTANA
What? You want me to explain
myself to you?
FINN
I’d prefer it if you explained
yourself to the big red mark on
my face, but the rest of me is
curious too.
SANTANA
I... It’s just...
(Sitting on the stairs)
You’re loud.

FINN
I’m sorry?
SANTANA
Remember when you and Lucky the
Little Irish Leper decided to
trash talk me, but the best you
could come up with is some crap
about me and Britt?
FINN
(Slowly realising)
But... Oh.
SANTANA
Yep.

FINN
But I was... I was just angry.
SANTANA
I’m not stupid enough to assume
you sat down for weeks and
planned it, Finn.
FINN
But, everyone knows. Everyone’s
always known.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 5.

SANTANA
No, Finn. For most people, it’s a
suspicion. Glee club is
different. Only the oblivious
would assume I was straight after
Landslide, even if I did take
Karofsky to the prom.
FINN
Never understood that.

SANTANA
But out here...
WIDE ANGLE SHOT: Finn joins Santana on the stairs, and we
zoom out to see all the people bustling around the
corridors.
SANTANA (CONT.)
No one pays attention here. You
can nearly break a person’s neck
by slamming them into a locker
and everyone will keep moving.
It’s a whirlpool. Nothing new
happens, it just keeps turning.
FINN
But people still talk.
SANTANA
And they occasionally talk to
their uncles who are running for
office.

FINN
What?
SANTANA
One of Sue’s opponents is
challenging her on ’family
values’. He’ll be running an add
that accuses her of making her
head cheerleader a lesbian as
part of an agenda.

FINN
I screwed up, didn’t I?
SANTANA
And I reserve the right to hold
it against you.

CUT TO:
 6.

4 INT. WILL’S OFFICE - FRIDAY 1420 4

Will and Shelby in Will’s office. The pair are resting on
Will’s desk.

SHELBY
So, what do we think that was
about?
WILL
I have no idea.
SHELBY
That’s the problem, isn’t it? We
can’t know what’s going on in the
minds of these kids.

WILL
(Gazing out through the
glass wall)
Any one of those kids could be a
ticking timebomb. They probably
all are. There’s something that
they’re hiding.
SHELBY
That’s growing up.

ANGLE: From behind Will and Shelby, we see the other side
of the glass. NOAH "PUCK" PUCKERMAN crosses in front of
it, moving to a locker. He opens it.
SHELBY (CONT.)
Some already have.
CUT TO:

5 INT. SHELBY’S HOUSE - SATURDAY 1500 5

Puck walks around rocking BETH CORCORAN in his arms.

She’s quiet, but the look of relief on Puck’s face tells
us she’s been crying. Shelby enters through the main door
carrying BAGS OF GROCERIES.

SHELBY
Sorry to leave her with you like
this, Puck.
She begins setting the bags on the table.

PUCK
I’d rather babysit than have Beth
starve.

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 7.

SHELBY
I’d have taken her, but I had to
go to...

PUCK
(He lowers Beth into her
cot.)
Ssssh.
Shelby crosses over to the cot.

SHELBY
She’s really taken to you.
PUCK
I am her daddy.

SHELBY
(Looking concerned, turning
away)
Look, thanks, but you should...

She turns back to Puck, who kisses her.

CLOSE UP: The pair, kissing.
FADE TO:

6 INT. SANTANA’S BEDROOM - SUNDAY 1800 6

CLOSE UP: Santana and Brittany, kissing in the same pose
as Shelby and Puck.

ZOOM OUT to show Santana’s room. It’s unusually sporting.

Posters of CHEERLEADERS grace her walls, as does an
EXTREME SPORTS CALENDAR. Her bookcase is a rickety wooden
contraption, mostly filled with CDs. The walls are
wallpapered, but it’s fading. Her room has only seen
things added - no one’s been able to afford to renovate
since it was first built. There is an old TV in one
corner. It’s missing a few buttons. The REMOTE lies on a
worn SIDETABLE. Her DOOR is adorned with a big poster -
Santana, Brittany and Quinn, posing. It’s a blown-up
photo, made at a copy shop, clearly made from normal
paper.
Brittany and Santana are lying on Santana’s bed, swapping
spit. Brittany pulls away first, rolling her neck to
stretch.

SANTANA
Sorry, we’ve been doing this for
hours, haven’t we?

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 8.

BRITTANY
It’s OK, I know you’re upset.
SANTANA
That’s not why-

BRITTANY
We always make out when you’re
upset.
SANTANA
... Sorry.
They sit up on her bed. Santana reaches for the remote on
the sidetable.

SANTANA (CONT.)
Maybe we should just watch some
TV.
BRITTANY
San, I didn’t mean...

ON-SCREEN TEXT (FADING IN): Sunday.

There is a knocking on Santana’s door. Santana shuffles a
few inches away from Brittany. The door opens, and from
around the door appears MARIA LOPEZ. She’s in her late
40s, her hair is curly, but fairly long.
MARIA
San, honey, dinner is ready.
Brittany se queda?

SANTANA
Sí, madre.
Maria disappears back behind the door.
BRITTANY
When are you going to tell her
about us? You always act like
we’re hardly even friends.
SANTANA
Don’t be ridiculous.
BRITTANY
I miss a lot, Santana, but it’s
obvious. I know your parents sit
down to watch TV every night
after dinner.
SANTANA
I guess I’m running out of time,
aren’t I?

SMASH CUT TO:

 9.

7 TITLE CARD (GLEE, THE TEXT IS RAINBOW COLOURED). 7

8 INT. MCKINLEY LOCKER ROOM - MONDAY 1100 8

In her little office in the corner of the McKinley Locker

Room, SHANNON BEISTE is writing in a journal.
BEISTE (V.O.)
Well, Beiste-iary, I still don’t
know where I am with Cooter. I
like him more than a hatchback
full of turducken, but I can’t
get past this sinking feeling
like I’m losing him.

CUT TO:

9 INT. SUE’S OFFICE - MONDAY 10:30 9

Sue and Cooter in Sue’s office. They’re hugging.

ANGLE: Looking out through the windows. Beiste is clearly

walking past.
BEISTE (V.O.)
Just half an hour ago I saw Sue
and him hugging.
(The camera zooms in on
Beiste through the glass.)
I can’t get Cooter to hug me, the
best I get is a bit of touching
when he spots me.
CUT TO:

10 INT. MCKINLEY LOCKER ROOM - UNSPECIFIED DAY 10

CLOSE UP: COOTER MENKEN’s Face, he’s staring at the

ground.
COOTER
Shannon?

CLOSE UP: Beiste’s face, from above. She’s on her back.

BEISTE
Yeah?

COOTER
You ready?
WIDE ANGLE: Cooter and Beiste, lifting weights. Beiste is
lifting, Cooter spots. Beiste groans as she lifts.

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 10.

ANGLE: From above, we see Cooter’s leg glancingly touch

Beiste’s face. Beiste giggles girlishly.
COOTER
Are you OK Shannon?
CLOSE UP: Beiste’s face.
BEISTE
(Nervously)
Yeah, sorry.
CUT TO:

11 INT. MCKINLEY LOCKER ROOM - MONDAY 1100 11

(Continued from Sc. 8)

BEISTE (V.O.)
I just can’t work out where I’m
going wrong. I need some sort of
sign. I need someone who knows
relationships better than I do.
Puck walks into the locker room. Beiste’s face lights up.
BEISTE (V.O.)
Bingo.
ON-SCREEN TEXT: Monday. [Fading in, still present over the
cut].

CUT TO:

12 INT. CHOIR ROOM - MONDAY 1300 12

Will, Most of NEW DIRECTIONS and THE TROUBLETONES sit on
the choir room’s CHAIRS (Santana, Brittany and Shelby are
missing). Finn stands at the front of the room. He’s
nervous. The WHITEBOARD is blank, but he’s holding a
MARKER PEN. BRAD sits at the piano. In quick succession,
Shelby enters, followed by Brittany and Santana. Finn
leaps on the opportunity. Shelby hesitates by the door
while Brittany and Santana take seats.
FINN
Great, you’re here. This week,
we’re going to do something
different...

SHELBY
Wait, what’s going on here? Will?

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 11.

WILL
Finn approached me about a lesson
as a follow up to the Mash-Off,
and I thought it sounded OK.

SHELBY
Oh. Thanks for letting me know.
She rolls her eyes, but catches Puck’s eyeline. She
nervously looks away.

FINN
Right, well, here we go.
He writes "LADY MUSIC WEEK" on the whiteboard. Shelby
walks over and rubs it out.

SHELBY
Let’s not have that hanging over
us for a whole week.
Finn looks at her, concerned. Shelby waves him on.

FINN
Well, as some of you may have
heard, Santana’s not had it easy
the past few days.

SANTANA
Really, bride of Al
Franken-house? You think it’s
appropriate to air my problems
here?

FINN
So, without even discussing them,
I just wanted to make this a safe
space. I’m not gonna force myself
into your life, Santana. I’ve
done... enough. This week we
should do music by women, for
women.
SANTANA
As long as it keeps me out of it,
I’m game.
FINN
So I’d like to start with a song
for you, Santana.

SANTANA
What did I just say?
FINN
This guy, Greg Laswell, did this
cover of this song and, well...
you’ll know it.

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 12.

MUSIC CUE: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper, as

covered by Greg Laswell, as covered by Finn Hudson (Cory
Monteith).

Finn pulls up a chair as Brad begins to play

accompaniment. It’s a slow, stripped-down version of the
original. Lots of shots of Finn singing, the other people
in the room enjoying it, and Santana slowly beginning to
enjoy it, her fingers slowly entwining with Brittany’s.

The number is INTERCUT with with the following scenes (sc.

13-16):

13 INT. SHELBY’S HOUSE - UNSPECIFIED DAY 13

Shelby, tending to Beth. As Beth bounces in Shelby’s arms,

her phone goes off. A text message from Puck.
CLOSE UP: Shelby’s phone: "Cn I cum ova?".
Shelby smiles as she reads it.

The phone rings in the middle of the night...

14 INT. SANTANA’S HOUSE - UNSPECIFIED DAY 14

Santana and her parents (Maria and JAVIER LOPEZ, late 40s,
older, greying at the temples) at dinner. They’re eating,
but Santana is distant. She doesn’t want to be there.
Well, mother dear, we’re not the fortunate ones...

15 INT. MCKINLEY LOCKER ROOM - UNSPECIFIED DAY 15

Beiste and Cooter, lifting hand-held weights. Cooter locks
eyes with Beiste for a moment, and she looks away, shy.

It’s all they really wa-a-a-ant...

16 INT. SANTANA’S HOUSE - UNSPECIFIED DAY 16

Santana crosses over to the window, staring out of it. Her

parents clear the table behind her.
ZOOM OUT: Through the window, slowly showing the front of
her building - a housing complex in Lima Heights Adjacent,
Lima’s industrial district. It’s bleak, and her face is no
different.
I wanna be the one in the song...
 13.

17 INT. CHOIR ROOM - MONDAY 1305 17

(Continuing Sc. 12)

Finn finishes his song. The room applauds, politely. Will

stands up, applauding much more enthusiastically than
anyone else.
WILL
Well, I think that gets up into
the mood for a great week!
SANTANA
Really? I like how the week that
has nothing to do with me starts
with a song dedicated to me.

BRITTANY
Take the compliment.
SANTANA
Britt?

BRITTANY
Even I know it’s the best you’re
going to get.

FINN
Take her advice... I think.
WILL
Well, you all have classes to get
to, so I’ll see you all later.

TINA
(To MIKE CHANG, as the pair
get up)
Do these meetings feel even
shorter to you too?

The group disperses. Santana approaches BLAINE ANDERSON

and KURT HUMMEL.
SANTANA
Fey and Feyer, can I have a
moment?
KURT
Is it full of terrible jokes like
that because I’m not sure I could
handle it.

SANTANA
Please. I need to talk and...
well...

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 14.

BLAINE
Say no more. Lima Bean, after
school.

SANTANA
Great.
CUT TO:

18 INT. LIMA BEAN - MONDAY 1530 18

There’s a crowd bustling around the Lima Bean, usual
patrons combined with the flow of trendy high schoolers
fleeing campus. Blaine and Kurt approach the counter,
attended by a distant-looking BARISTA.

BLAINE
A medium drip and...
BARISTA
Yeah, I know your orders.

KURT
Oh.
(His face scrunches a
little)
We have to stop coming here.
BLAINE
You don’t see any value in
ordering the regular?

He hands over MONEY as they are handed TWO COFFEES. They

approach a TABLE, inhabited by Santana.
SANTANA
Hey.

KURT
So, what brought this on?
SANTANA
Well, I’m sure you saw the slap
heard around the world.

BLAINE
It was hard to miss.
SANTANA
There was a reason. It wasn’t
just the righteous open-hand of
popular opinion.
KURT
We know. My dad told me.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 15.

SANTANA
Oh...
KURT
It wasn’t gossip. He was worried.
Now that I know, I’m worried.
BLAINE
We’re worried.

KURT
Are you OK?
SANTANA
I am... I just...

She tears up a little. Santana’s head drops as she wipes

her eyes. Kurt reaches over and grabs her free hand
gently.
KURT
San, we don’t have to do this.
It’s your life.
SANTANA
No, no... I just... I don’t get
any of this. Two years ago I was
sleeping with Puckerman. I took
your stepbrother’s virginity. Me
and Britt were just fooling
around and it meant nothing and I
was so sure of myself...

BLAINE
You don’t have to explain. None
of this is easy. For some people,
it’s simple. They know from day
one. For others, it’s much more
complicated.

KURT
Hell, even I’ve made out with
Brittany.
BLAINE
Really?
KURT
There was a whole thing.
SANTANA
And you weren’t fooling for a
second, Boy-za Minelli. Neither
were you when you were making out
with Berry, Teen Grandpa. I
just... I didn’t really have a
sexuality. At least, I don’t
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 16.

SANTANA (cont’d)
think I did. It wasn’t...
anything. Between Quinn and
Britt, everyone was sleeping with
people. What was I supposed to
do?
BLAINE
You went with it. Sometimes it’s
all you can do. I...

KURT
I realise that you can’t exactly
control how you come out anymore.
You have a choice, Santana. Just
go with it, and risk being outed
by a pizza guy with a suit, or do
it on your own terms.
BLAINE
Your own terms isn’t always the
best option, but if you want my
opinion, you’ve gotta do it now.
I ran, Santana, because I could.
As much as it might be
depressing, you can’t.

SANTANA
Look, it’s my life. It’s my
decision.
KURT
For now. We are irrelevant here,
Santana, but even you can’t
ignore the big flashing sign
that’s about to be thrust over
your head everywhere you go.
CLOSE UP: Santana’s face. She’s mulling it over.

SANTANA
I have to go.
Santana gets up. Kurt moves to stand, but she hurries out.

BLAINE
Well, that’s encouraging.
KURT
We can’t force ourselves on her.
It’s a step that she even spoke
to us in the first place.
BLAINE
(Placing his arm around
Kurt)
When did you get so wizened?

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 17.

Kurt smiles, but his expression drops as he sees SEBASTIAN

SMYTHE approach.
SEBASTIAN
Hey guys, what a surprise.

BLAINE
Sebastian, hey, what are you
doing here?
SEBASTIAN
I’ve decided to make this
second-rate coffee hole my
regular. I’ve always had a
regular place, ever since La
Brochet in Paris.
KURT
Adorable.
SEBASTIAN
I’m just gonna get a terrible,
burnt cup. Join me, Blaine? I’m
having some trouble with my
harmonizing.
BLAINE
Uh...
Kurt looks past Sebastian and sees Rachel approaching.
Recognizing her, he turns to Blaine and pats him on the
shoulder.
KURT
Go on. I see a certain miss Berry
approaching and we should really
start this conversation alone.
It’ll be a little awkward.
Blaine stands up and follows Sebastian to the counter.
Rachel sees Kurt and makes a beeline for his table.

RACHEL
Kurt, I-
KURT
I realise we haven’t really
spoken since the debate. I just
wanted to say, thank you.
RACHEL
Kurt...

KURT
But I don’t think your
endorsement is gonna make much of
a difference.

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 18.

RACHEL
What, why?
KURT
Brittany’s got it in the bag. The
big rumor mill that’s churning
right now about Santana is only
gonna make people think about
Britt even more.

RACHEL
She is half of it, I suppose.
KURT
(Shrugging)
Honestly, stuffing the ballots is
my only hope.
RACHEL
Are you serious?
KURT
Please. I wish. My only hope of
getting into NYADA is slipping
away and... well, I don’t need to
explain it to you. I’m running
out of options.

CLOSE UP: Rachel’s face. She’s mulling it over.

SEBASTIAN
(Snidely, to Rachel and
Kurt)
Ah, the young lovers.
Sebastian and Blaine reapproach the table.
KURT
And the fun begins. Sebastian,
Rachel. Rachel...
(Reluctantly, )
Sebastian.
The pair smile at each other.

CLOSE UP: Lingering on Rachel’s face.

CUT TO:

19 INT. MCKINLEY LOCKER ROOM - TUESDAY 1200 19

Beiste approaches Puck in the locker room. There are OTHER

FOOTBALL PLAYERS milling around.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 19.

BEISTE
Puckerman, my office. Now.
ON-SCREEN TEXT: Tuesday.

Puck looks confused, but follows her over to her little

cubicle.
PUCK
Coach?

BEISTE
Look Puckerman, I respect you as
a player, but there’s something I
want your opinion on.

PUCK
Oh, right. You’re not the first.
It’ll be red for about a month...
Beiste looks confused, but she waves him down.

BEISTE
Oh no no no. Similar area, but
you’ve bolted your horses down
the cattle track to the glue
factory before you’re put them in
the derby.
Puck looks completely confused.
PUCK
So...

BEISTE
You’re experienced. I know you’ve
dated half the girls in this
school. If a girl wanted to get
your attention... what would they
do?
PUCK
Look, you’re nice and all...
BEISTE
I’m not asking you out,
Puckerman.
PUCK
Oh. Well, whoever this guy is,
you need to be honest.

CUT TO:
 20.

20 INT. CHOIR ROOM - TUESDAY 1200 20

Rachel paces the room. QUINN FABRAY enters and she rushes
over.

RACHEL
Quinn, I need your opinion.
QUINN
Oh no, how many weeks are you?

RACHEL
No, it’s not that. It’s... If you
had the opportunity to help
someone... the only way this
person could get something they
needed, but you know that they’d
get mad if they found out...
QUINN
Sometimes you have to take
chances, Rachel.

INTERCUT WITH:

21 INT. MCKINLEY LOCKER ROOM - TUESDAY 1200 21

(Continuing sc. 19)

PUCK
Take a chance. You tell half the
guys in this locker room that
their girlfriends even looked at
another guy, and they’d freak.
Guys are insecure.

22 INT. CHOIR ROOM - TUESDAY 1200 22

(Continuing sc. 22)

Puck enters the room from the side opposite Rachel and
Quinn. He only smiles at them, crossing instead over to
the band kit.

QUINN
If you’re the only one that can
help someone, you need to do what
you can.
 21.

23 INT. MCKINLEY LOCKER ROOM - TUESDAY 1200 23

(Continuing Sc. 21)

PUCK
Guys hate clingy girls, trust me,
I know.
Puck’s gaze extends out to the door to the locker room.

MUSIC CUE: I’m The Only One - Melissa Etheridge, as

covered by Puck (Mark Salling).
The opening chords play as:
SLOW MOTION: Shelby passes by the lockerroom.

PUCK
But sometimes you’ve gotta go
there.
CUT TO:

24 INT. CHOIR ROOM - TUESDAY 1230 24

Puck stands before the band, with a guitar, rocking out to
I’m The Only One. New Directions and the Troubletones,
plus Will and Shelby, are present for Puck’s performance.
His eyes are on Shelby.
The song is intercut with the following scenes (25-30, in
order):

25 INT. MCKINLEY LOCKER ROOM - TUESDAY (?AFTERNOON?) 25

Cooter talks to a group of football players, notably
SHANE. Finn is conspicuously absent. Beiste is in her
office, staring out at Cooter.
WIDE SHOT: Looking at the whole scene - Locker room
conversation and Beiste, zooming in slowly to emphasize
Beiste.

But I’m the only one who drowned in my desire for you...

26 INT. SHELBY’S HOUSE - UNSPECIFIED DAY 26

Shelby and Puck, making out on her couch. It’s passionate,

but Shelby’s heart just isn’t in it. As their lips break
apart, her expression falls to one of sadness. As Puck
nuzzles her neck, she looks over at Beth’s cot, and her
expression worsens.
 22.

You’ll wake up tomorrow and wrestle the sorrow that holds

you back today...

27 INT. RACHEL’S BEDROOM - TUESDAY 2200 27

Rachel, scribbling on bits of paper. Somehow, she’s gotten
hold of the McKinley Student Body President Voting Form -
well, 100 copies of it. She’s filling them out as fast as
she can.

It’s only fear that makes you run, the demons that you’re
hiding from...

28 INT. MCKINLEY CORRIDORS - TUESDAY 1500 28

The school day has ended, and Beiste walks the corridors.
She’s searching for Cooter.
She turns a corner, coming in sight of Sue’s office.

I’m the only one...

29 INT. MCKINLEY CORRIDORS - TUESDAY 1300 29

At lunch (and during Im The Only One’s guitar solo), Kurt
and Brittany are both campaigning. Brittany’s far more
successful. There are CROWDS OF PEOPLE around her, taking
MUFFINS and COOKIES out of a basket. Kurt is handing out
flyers, and he has an obscenely large pile of them.

30 INT. MCKINLEY CORRIDORS - TUESDAY 1502 30

Beiste finally gets within sight of Sue’s office, and she
sees a scene unfolding: Sue Sylvester and Cooter Menken,
kissing.

I’m the only one... Woah-oh-oh, yeah.

SMASH CUT TO BLACK.
END OF ACT I.

ACT II.

31 INT. MCKINLEY INDOOR BASKETBALL COURT - WEDNESDAY 1100 31

The McKinley basketball court, decked out for the
election. It’s divided into two - half is for the CROWD OF
STUDENTS milling around, the other half has been set up
with BOOTHS and TABLES. Beiste is sat at a table decked
out with VOTING FORMS and LISTS.

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 23.

MUSIC CUE: Jolene - Dolly Parton, as covered by Coach

Beiste (Dot Marie-Jones).
ZOOM IN: On Beiste, from across the auditorium, as Beiste
begins to sing.
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, I’m begging of you, please
don’t take my man.
Through the main doors to the court enters Sue, Cooter and
a CROWD OF REPORTERS.
PAN: Following Beiste’s eyeline, looking at Sue. Sue is
not very subtly pandering to the reporters. She has one
arm around Cooter.

The scene is intercut with the following (Sc. 32-):

32 INT. SUE’S OFFICE - TUESDAY 1440 32

Sue and Cooter are flipping through old photo albums.

ANGLE: A YOUNG SUE SYLVESTER and a YOUNG COOTER MENKEN are

seen in the pictures. They seem to be happy.
WIDE SHOT: Unseen by Sue and Cooter, Beiste paces the
room, still singing to Sue.

33 INT. TEACHER’S LOUNGE - UNSPECIFIED DAY 33

Sue and Cooter, sharing lunch, laughing. Sue makes a bad
joke, inaudibly, and Cooter makes a face that’s
half-laughing, half-flummoxed.
Your voice is soft like summer rain, and I cannot compete
with you, Jolene...

34 INT. MCKINLEY LOCKER ROOM - UNSPECIFIED DAY 34

Beiste, writing in her journal, trying to hold back tears.
And there’s nothing I can do to keep from crying when he
calls your name, Jolene.

35 INT. LIMA BEAN - MONDAY 1530 35

Continuing sc. 18, Rachel and Kurt sit in the Lima Bean
with Sebastian and Blaine. Sebastian and Blaine are
laughing, and Kurt is visibly unhappy with it.
 24.

36 INT. MCKINLEY LOCKER ROOM - WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON 36

Puck is changing in the Locker Room, but isn’t doing it
very discretely. Shelby passes by the entrance, catches
sight and lingers.

ZOOM IN: Past Shelby, into the distance, where Quinn

waits. She’s perfectly aware of what Shelby is looking at.

37 INT. MCKINLEY INDOOR BASKETBALL COURT - WEDNESDAY 1105 37

(Continuing sc. 31)

CLOSE UP: on Beiste as she stares at Sue. She is
interrupted by a COUGH.

ZOOM OUT to reveal Kurt standing in front of Coach Beiste.

KURT
(Loudly, actually
pronouncing the word:)
Ahem.
BEISTE
(Finally registering his
presence)
Oh, sorry Kurt. I was kinda
running the million mile race
down the piglet track there.
Kurt looks suitably confused. She hands him a form.
ON-SCREEN TEXT (FADING IN): Wednesday.

BEISTE (CONT.)
Take the form, tick the box.
KURT
Are you OK, coach? You seem a
little distant. Trust me, I know
distant. I practically perfected
it last year.
BEISTE
There’s a queue waiting Kurt...

KURT
(Turning around and not
seeing anyone)
Well, I realise it’s grossly
inappropriate for a student to
advise a teacher, so I’ll just
say this. Whatever your problem,
face it. Sitting, looking
distant, it doesn’t work.

Kurt takes the form and walks over to the booth.

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 25.

BEISTE
Grossly inappropriate, huh?
She laughs. It’s hollow, her expression is still blank.

ANGLE: On Sue, her arm draped around Cooter, and her

throng of reporters.
SUE
Yes, Ohio. I, Sue Sylvester, have
come to support this school’s
celebration of the democratic
process.
REPORTER
Who’s the man?

SUE
This is Cooter Menken, an old
flame that I’ve recently
reconnected with. We shared an
age appropriate romance in
College, where I was a
cheerleader, and he was a
quarterback. We really were an
all American couple. That, Ohio,
is what candidate Sue brings to
this table. Real American values.
ANGLE: Sue waving, with Beiste visible in the background,
alone, still staring.
CUT TO:

38 INT. MCKINLEY INDOOR BASKETBALL COURT - VOTING BOOTH -

WEDNESDAY 1130 38
Puck stands before a VOTING BOX. He has his FORM and a
PEN. He goes to tick a box, but before he can, the Booth’s
CURTAIN opens. In steps Quinn Fabray. She is cool, calm
and collected.
PUCK
(Turning to face her)
Occupado!
QUINN
I’ve been getting some mixed
signals.

PUCK
What?
QUINN
I saw Shelby checking you out.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 26.

PUCK
She-
QUINN
And, suspiciously, you spent all
of your song looking at her.
PUCK
I-

QUINN
I’m not stupid, Puck. Something’s
going on, and if it’s going to
stop me from getting back Beth, I
need to stop it.

PUCK
Quinn, get over it! Beth isn’t
ours anymore!
QUINN
But she could be!
PUCK
No, she couldn’t. She belongs to
Shelby now. Get over it.

QUINN
Not you too, Puck. I can’t
believe this.
PUCK
Too?

QUINN
You’re exactly the same. You
can’t see-
PUCK
Can’t see what? You’ve lost
Quinn.
QUINN
No I-

PUCK
Yes, you have. You tried and you
failed, and I went along with it
because for a while you fooled
me. Just quit it.

QUINN
(Tearing up)
Why are you doing this?

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 27.

PUCK
Because that act doesn’t work
anymore.

QUINN
Fine. I guess I’m out of options,
aren’t I.
PUCK
It was never an option, Quinn.

Quinn glares and walks out of the booth.

PUCK
(To himself, turning back to
the box)
People need to stop taking my
advice.
Puck writes "ROSS PEROT" on the bottom of the form and
sticks it in the box. He walks out, and in walks Kurt.

KURT
(To himself)
Last chance.
He ticks his own name and desposits it. He leaves.
MERCEDES JONES enters.
MERCEDES (V.O.)
Brittany is my Troubletones
homegirl, but if she wins,
Santana will never shut up about
it.
She ticks Kurt and leaves. Mike Chang enters. He is
listening to music, and silently ticks Kurt’s name. He
deposits the slip and exits. Tina enters, kissing him on
the cheek as they trade places.

TINA (V.O.)
Oh, more white people.
She ticks Kurt’s name and deposits it in the box. She
leaves. Santana enters, draws a heart instead of a tick in
Brittany’s box, folds the paper, seals it with a kiss and
deposits it. She leaves the booth.
CUT TO:

39 INT. MCKINLEY LUNCH HALL - WEDNESDAY 1350 39

Rachel waits in the Lima Bean. Kurt approaches, and she
shifts in her seat slightly as he approaches.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 28.

KURT
What was so important that you
had to meet me right away?
RACHEL
Sit down. Please.
KURT
Fine.
Kurt sits. He’s looking concerned.

RACHEL
You’re really worried about this
election, aren’t you?

KURT
That’s why you texted me sixteen
times telling me to meet you
here?
RACHEL
Sort of...
KURT
Oh no, what did you do?
RACHEL
I may have... done something bad.
KURT
RACHEL.
RACHEL
I stuffed the ballot. For you!
KURT
(Leaning over, whispering)
You realise that if someone
notices, I will instantly be
disqualified?
RACHEL
Deny. If we all deny, it’ll be
fine.

KURT
Deny what? I did nothing. And if
you deny, I’ll be the one who
gets the punishment.

RACHEL
If someone notices!
KURT
Oh, and since when has a Rachel
Berry scheme gone according to
plan?

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 29.

RACHEL
I’ve had several...
KURT
I... I can’t handle this right
now.
RACHEL
Kurt, wait!

KURT
I’ll talk to you later, Rachel. I
just... I need time.
CUT TO:

40 INT. SHELBY’S HOUSE - WEDNESDAY, 1300 40

Puck enters Shelby’s house carrying his schoolbag. She
doesn’t see him enter, she’s browsing on a LAPTOP. He
knocks on the door as he walks in, and she turns around.

PUCK
Shelby? I heard you’d come home.
I was worried it was about Beth.

SHELBY
Oh, Puck. Come on in. Don’t
panic, I came home for lunch. I
was just looking for some ideas
for outfits for Beth, actually.

PUCK
Is she sleeping?
SHELBY
Yeah. You know, it’ll be her
second Christmas soon. I think if
I keep buying her nice things
every year, eventually she’ll be
old enough to remember what I got
her the year before and she’ll
get to grow up with a ’perfect
christmas’ memory.

PUCK
That’s nice.
SHELBY
I had a perfect christmas, as a
child. I was eight. My dad came
in at the crack of dawn and
handed me this box. I was wide
awake, I was so excited... I tore
into it. Inside was this dress.
It was beautiful. I was probably
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 30.

SHELBY (cont’d)
a bit young for an expensive
dress. I outgrew it in five
months. But I knew my dad cared.
Looking back, he was probably
just giving me something he
thought was ’girly’, but... we
didn’t have a lot. It’s why I was
so broke in college. Unlike so
many, I couldn’t fall back on
anything but... but the money I
got from having Rachel. I don’t
know how my dad paid for that
dress, but I do know I wore it
whenever possible. By the time I
had grown out of it, it wasn’t
really in one piece anyway...
PUCK
I know what you mean.
(He sits beside her, placing
his hand on her arm)
My mom used to bake. Not very
often, maybe once a month, but
I’d get so excited. Eventually
she didn’t bake for months. I
asked her why. She said it was
because the oven had broken, and
she couldn’t afford to fix it. In
hindsight, we had been eating
fast food for weeks.
SHELBY
That was a lot more recent than
my story.
PUCK
So?

SHELBY
I thought this would make me feel
young again, but...
She pulls her arm away from Puck.

SHELBY (CONT.)
I’m sorry. I... I don’t think we
can do this any more.
PUCK
What?
SHELBY
You and me. Everytime you come
here, I think about Beth. I think
about you. You’re not her father,
Puck. I wanted you to be, but
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 31.

SHELBY (cont’d)
you’re not here for her. You’re a
kid. You might want here now, but
we both know this isn’t going to
work.

PUCK
But I love her. And I love you.
(Shelby winces)
I don’t want her to grow up
without a father. Not like I did.

SHELBY
She won’t. I have many years to
go before I’m officially an old
maid. You have many more than me,
Puck. It’s not fair. You and
Quinn both gave Beth away because
you didn’t want her to ruin-
PUCK
I never said ruin...

SHELBY
Ruin your lives. You’re not ready
to be a father, Puck. You’re
getting there, but you need time.
Quinn might have gone off the
rails a bit, but at least she’s
honest. You’re not here for me.
You’re here for Beth. I can’t
handle that.
Puck leans in close. Shelby, almost out of reflex, does so
too.
PUCK
I’m here for you. Nothing more,
nothing less.

They kiss.
CUT TO:

41 INT. MCKINLEY LUNCH HALL - WEDNESDAY 1400 41

(Continuing sc. 39)
Santana walks past Rachel’s table. Rachel waves for her to
sit down.

SANTANA
Let me guess, you have an almost
offensive opinion you wish to
share.

Santana sits down reluctantly.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 32.

RACHEL
I just wanted to say, I know it’s
not easy. If you need to talk,
I’m here.

SANTANA
Yeah, you and everyone I’ve
spoken to this week.
RACHEL
That’s not a bad thing, Santana.
SANTANA
Then why do I feel like it’s lip
service? When every person I talk
to says the same damn thing? "If
you ever need to talk".
RACHEL
Hearing something a lot generally
to make it true.

SANTANA
Great, so I can be cured then? So
it’s a phase?
RACHEL
(Stuttering, caught off
guard)
That’s not what I meant Santana,
I-
SANTANA
No, sorry, that was harsh.
(Santana leans on the table
and rests her head in her
hands)
I just... I’m over all of this. I
wish I didn’t have to deal with
this.
(She looks up, sighing)
My biggest fear used to be that
Sue would demote me from
Captain... Now I’m worried
that... that anyone I meet...
(She begins to tear up,
reburying her head in her
hands)
I’m just over it...
RACHEL
(Reaching out)
Hey, Santana, don’t cry. It’s OK.
You have friends and family who
love you. So what if people look
at you funny for a week or two?
You’ll get through this. I’ve
lived with that for years.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 33.

Santana laughs and wipes her eyes. She takes Rachel’s hand
and squeezes it.
SANTANA
(Chuckling)
That feels a little pointed.
RACHEL
I couldn’t help it.

Santana smiles and gives Rachel’s hand another squeeze.

She pulls away rapidly as an AWFUL JOCK walks past. He’s
being followed by a SECOND AWFUL JOCK, carrying a tray
with FOOD, notably SPAGHETTI.
AWFUL JOCK
Don’t stop on my account, ladies.
The only thing hotter than a
couple of lesbos is making ’em
see the light,
(He stops walking and leans
over)
If you know what I mean.
RACHEL
(Angrily)
Oh, great. How long did you spend
on that? Did you spend hours
thinking about the best way to
hit on a lesbian?
AWFUL JOCK
Oh, I’ve spent many hours
thinking about lesbians. Just
thinking and thinking...
RACHEL
Oh yeah? Well, I’d hate for you
to overwork your tiny brain. Let
me help you.
She stands up and grabs the Spaghetti from the tray of the
Second Awful Jock. She dumps it over the Awful Jock’s
head.

RACHEL (CONT.)
Sorry, I missed. That should have
gone lower.
She storms out. Santana follows behind.

CUT TO:
 34.

42 INT. SHELBY’S BEDROOM - WEDNESDAY 1430 42

Puck lies in Shelby’s bed as Shelby fixes her hair.

PUCK
You’ve still got it, you know.
SHELBY
Thanks, I...

She sighs loudly.

PUCK
What’s wrong?
SHELBY
This. This! I tried to tell you
I’ve had enough, and we slept
together. This isn’t right.
PUCK
It has to be, if it keeps
happening.
SHELBY
That’s not how things work.

PUCK
This is a bad time to break up
with me.
SHELBY
I... Just give me a few days, OK?
I need to think.
PUCK
Alright. As long as you’re
thinking.

SHELBY
(Turning, and placing a hand
on Puck’s arm)
Thank you. I... I just don’t know
what I’m going to do.

PUCK
Then let me help you figure it
out.
SHELBY
I’m a grown woman. I can make my
own decisions. I also get to live
with the consequences.
CUT TO:
 35.

43 INT. FIGGINS’ OFFICE - DAY 1430 43

Rachel sits before Figgins.
RACHEL
Oh come on, he was being a bully.
I put him in his palce.
FIGGINS
No one saw anything, so we only
have his complaint, but I’m
watching you. Violence from your
so called Glee Club is becoming
too common.
RACHEL
It won’t happen again.
FIGGINS
Good.
Coach Beiste knocks on the door and sticks her head in.

BEISTE
They’re here.
FIGGINS
Good. Miss Berry, please be more
considerate of others. You are
already too cavalier with your
erotic dodgeball mashings up.
Rachels stands to leave, mouthing "erotic dodgeball
mashings up" as she does so. She exits, passing
Beiste, Burt Hummel and Kurt.
SLOW MOTION: Rachel and Kurt’s eyes lock for a second.
Kurt and Burt enter Figgins’ office, followed by Beiste.

BURT
What is this about?
FIGGINS
Well, there has been a troubling
development in our local
democracy.
BEISTE
Your son won the race.

BURT
(Excited, hugging Kurt)
Well, that’s amazing! Was it a
big margin?
(Turning to Kurt)
Did you know? Was this a big con?

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 36.

BEISTE
He won by more votes than there
are seniors.
BURT
Wait, I thought only seniors
could vote.
FIGGINS
Precisely. It seems that the
election was rigged in mister
Kurt Hummel’s favour.

BURT
Kurt, do you know anything about
you?
KURT
I- I mean, I considered it,
and...
BEISTE
You did this?

KURT
No, I would never. I was just
saying...
FIGGINS
Someone did it. We have no one
else to suspect but you.
KURT
I... What happens now?

BEISTE
Well, obviously, you lose. That
means Brittany wins. She beat the
other guy by a pretty wide
margin.

FIGGINS
You will also be punished. I have
yet to decide what the punishment
is.
KURT
But I didn’t do it!
FIGGINS
Then WHO DID?
KURT
It was...
(He pauses, considering his
words)
I don’t know.

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 37.

BEISTE
This is serious, Kurt.
BURT
Hey, if he says he didn’t do it,
the boy didn’t do it. He’s never
done anything like this.
BEISTE
We aren’t left with a lot of
options.
ANGLE: Over Kurt’s shoulder, through the glass windows of
Figgins’ office.
ZOOM IN: We see Rachel outside, looking in, looking
concerned. She does not move.
CUT TO:

44 INT. MCKINLEY SCHOOL CORRIDORS - WEDNESDAY 1500 44

SOUND FX: the school bell rings.

Santana leaves the Glee Club choir room. Brittany is
waiting for her. She locks arms with her and smiles. As
she does:
SANTANA
Well, Madam President, it’s all
over. All we have to do now is
wait. I’m surprised they haven’t
made an announcement yet.
BRITTANY
So what do you want to do?
SANTANA
I was thinking ice cream. I need
to get my double-scoop on.
BRITTANY
You have the best ideas.

They begin walking away.

SANTANA
I know.
BRITTANY
Can we get it and take it back to
yours?
SANTANA
It’ll probably melt.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 38.

BRITTANY
We should get one of those small
tubs then.

SANTANA
Sounds good to me. We can eat it
and watch some trashy TV.
Something with Kardashians or
people who wear more bronzer than
clothes.

BRITTANY
Will you tell your mother that
I’m your girlfriend?
Santana pauses, mid-step.

SANTANA
What?
BRITTANY
(Turning to face her)
It’s not a big question. Either
you tell her or you don’t, but
I’m sick of you keeping me at
arms length every time there’s a
chance she might walk in the
room.
SANTANA
Britt, I... I can’t just come
out. I can’t. I’ve tried. I’ve
wanted to. I just... I don’t know
how they’ll react.
BRITTANY
I’m not saying this to be mean.
That ad will air soon and then
you’re going to find out either
way.
SANTANA
You’re not the first to point
that out.

BRITTANY
Then tell them.
SANTANA
... Alright. I guess I don’t
really have a choice.

BRITTANY
Not the first time I’ve heard
that.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 39.

SANTANA
I guess I kinda deserved that
one... There’s a lot of deja vu
going on here.

BRITTANY
Come on, let’s skip the ice
cream. I’ll walk you home.
SANTANA
Will you be there with me?
BRITTANY
This is your fight, Santana.
You’re the strongest person I
know. I’ll be at home, waiting to
hear about how well it went. I
wish I could be there with you.
I’d sing ’I Kissed A Girl’ and
we’d all be happy, like in Glee
Club.

SANTANA
I can’t help but feel like that
song would be wildly
inappropriate.

BRITTANY
But you did. You kissed a girl.
And you liked it. And now people
are going to make it seem like
that makes you a bad person.

SANTANA
It doesn’t?
BRITTANY
No, it makes you my girlfriend.
And as much as I want to be there
with you, even I know it’s too
awkward to bring your girlfriend
to your coming out.
SANTANA
That is a something I did not
really want to hear... but it
makes sense. Alright, let’s go.
They walk down the corridors. They are not holding hands.

CUT TO:
 40.

45 INT. SANTANA’S HOUSE - WEDNESDAY 1550 45

Santana walks into her house.

SANTANA
¿Hay alguien aquí?
MARIA (O.S.)
Si, come into the kitchen. There
is a cake on the table. Your
father is already helping
himself.

46 INT. SANTANA’S HOUSE - KITCHEN - WEDNESDAY 1551 46

Santana enters the kitchen. Javier is sat at the KITCHEN

TABLE, eating. There is a CAKE on the table, with a large
slice removed. Maria is washing PLATES in the SINK.
MARIA
It was a gift from a Isabella.
You remember how I made her those
drapes? She made us a cake.
SANTANA
How nice of her.

JAVIER
How was school?
SANTANA
Actually... I need to talk to you
both about that.
JAVIER
Is it bad? Maria, sit down, leave
the plates. I am only going to
leave more of a mess.

MARIA
Fine.
She sits.

SANTANA
Well, there’s something I need to
tell you...
MARIA
Well? Spit it out.

Santana lowers her head, scared.

MUSIC CUE: I Kissed A Girl - Katy Perry, covered by
Santana Lopez and Rachel Berry et. al. (Naya Rivera, Lea
Michele and company).

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 41.

Santana stands up. She begins to sing, matching the music.

SANTANA
This was never the way I planned.

ANGLE: Looking at Maria. Behind her, Rachel is standing,

also singing.
RACHEL
Not my intention.

SANTANA
I got so brave, drink in hand...
Rachel moves over to Santana, singing. Santanta’s parents
register what is happening, but remain calm.

RACHEL
Lost my discretion.
From the other room enter Quinn and Brittany. Quinn movs
over to Rachel, Brittany immediately moves over to
Santana.
SANTANA
It’s not what-

RACHEL
I’m used to...
SANTANA
(To Brittany)
Just wanna try you on...

RACHEL
(To Quinn)
I’m curious for you.
Rachel and Santana throw their arms around Quinn and
Brittany, respectively.
SANTANA RACHEL
Caught my attention. Caught my attention.

SANTANA RACHEL
I kissed a girl and I liked I kissed a girl and I liked
it. it.

SANTANA
The taste of her cherry
chapstick.
Santana smiles, turning to look Brittany in the eyes.

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 42.

SANTANA (CONT.)
I kissed a girl-
SMASH CUT TO:

The earlier moment in the scene, before Santana begins

singing. She was imagining it all.
MARIA
Santana?

SANTANA
(Looking up, looking scared)
I’m a lesbian.
CUT TO BLACK.

END OF ACT II.

ACT III

47 INT. SANTANA’S HOUSE - WEDNESDAY 1550 47

(Continuing Sc. 46 directly)

Maria and Javier stop what they are doing. Javier puts
down his cake and sighs. Santana shifts awkwardly in her
seat, avoiding their gaze.

MARIA
Are you sure?
SANTANA
I’m so sure I wish I wasn’t.
JAVIER
Santana, look at me.
Santana turns to look at him. He is stern.

SANTANA
I-
JAVIER
It does not matter.

SANTANA
But-
JAVIER
I cannot speak for your mother,
but I can say this: I am your
father. I have raised you, but I
am not you. Whatever I may have
hoped and wanted for you is
irrelevant. Tell me, Santana, are
you happy?

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 43.

SANTANA
As a lesbian?
JAVIER
As a person.
SANTANA
Yes.
JAVIER
Then I have raised my daughter
well, and that is all that
matters.
Santana reaches out and grabs her father’s hand. He
smiles, and uses his other hand to pat hers.

MARIA
Do you have a ’friend’?
Maria Lopez is not comfortable, but she is clearly trying.

SANTANA
You mean a girlfriend?
MARIA
Yes.

ALMA (O.S.)
Anyone home?
SANTANA
(Calling out to her)
In the kitchen.
ALMA LOPEZ, Santana’s abuelita, enters the room. She sets
down several GROCERY BAGS.
ALMA
I bought some things for dinner.
You know, Santana, you could
invite a nice boy to dine with
us. It’s been a while since you
brought anyone home.
(She turns to see everyone
sat around the table,
looking dour)
What’s wrong, did somebody die?
JAVIER
Please sit, Alma.
Santana briefly panics. She doesn’t want to tell her
abuelita. Not now.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 44.

ALMA
(Sitting down)
Fine.

MARIA
Santana has something she needs
to tell you.
SANTANA
No, I mean...
(Sighing)
I’ve been meaning to say this for
a while now. I just... I love
girls, in the way I’m supposed to
love boys. It’s just something I
want to share with you, with all
of you, because I love you so
much. I want you to know me. When
I’m with Brittany, I finally
understand what people are
talking about when they’re
talking about love. And I’ve
tried so hard to keep this locked
up inside, but everyday just
feels like a war. And I walk
around so mad at the world, and
I’m really just fighting with
myself. I don’t wanna fight
anymore, I’m just too tired. I
have to just be me.
Maria and Javier exchange looks. They feel for her. Alma
is stern.

ALMA
Santana... I have been here for
you. I have watched you grow from
a little girl into a grown woman,
and I-
(Beat)
The sin, Santana, is in the
telling, in the scandal. The sin
is when people talk about it.

MARIA
(To Alma)
¿Qué estás diciendo?
SANTANA
But, but Abuela...

ALMA
No, stop.
(She stands up)
I will not be associated with
sin.

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 45.

Santana stands up and dashes for the exit, crying. Javier

and Maria both stand up, following. Maria turns to Alma.
MARIA
How dare you?
MUSIC CUE: Perfect, by Pink - as covered by Kurt and
Blaine (Chris Colfer and Darren Criss).
Made a wrong turn once or twice.

Dug my way out, blood and fire.

CUT TO:

48 INT. SANTANA’S BUILDING’S HALLWAY - WEDNESDAY 1600 48

Santana rushes down the hallway, crying. Javier follows
after her, but stops.
JAVIER
(Calling out)
Santana!
Bad decisions, that’s alright.
Welcome to my silly life.

CUT TO:

49 EXT. SANTANA’S BUILDING - WEDNESDAY 1601 49

It is RAINING. Santana’s not dressed for it, she’s getting

drenched as she runs away from her place. She doesn’t know
what to do.
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood!

Miss "No way,It’s all good", it didn’t slow me down

CUT TO:

50 EXT. THE STREETS OF LIMA - WEDNESDAY 1610. 50

Images of Santana, wandering the streets.
Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated!

She can’t handle it.

Look, I’m still around...
She falls against a nondescript, industrial wall, finally
giving up, crying her eyes out.

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 46.

Pretty pretty please!

Don’t you ever ever feel

Like you’re less than, less than perfect

From her pocket, she removes a CELLPHONE. Her father is
calling. She ignores it.
Beat.

She calls Brittany.

Pretty pretty please
If you ever ever feel like you’re nothing you are perfect
to me.
CUT TO:

51 INT. SANTANA’S ROOM - UNDEFINED LATER DATE 51

You’re so mean (Your so mean)

When you talk (When you talk) about yourself, you were
wrong

Santana’s going crazy in her room. She’s tearing down

posters, tearing up pictures, destroying things. Getting
it out of her system.
Change the voices (Change the voices) in your head (In
your head)
Make them like you instead
CUT TO:

52 INT. SANTANA’S HOUSE - UNDEFINED LATER DATE 52

Outside Santana’s bedroom door, Maria and Javier are
talking, arguing.

So complicated, look how we all make it!

Filled with so much hatred... such a tired game.
CUT TO:
 47.

53 INT. SANTANA’S ROOM - UNDEFINED LATER DATE 53

(Continuing sc. 54)

Santana takes a cheerleading trophy from her shelf. It’s

big.
It’s enough! I’ve done all I can think of
She opens a window and throws it out of it.

Chased down all my demons, I’ve seen you do the same.

CUT TO:

54 INT. KURT’S CAR - WEDNESDAY 1615 54

Kurt is driving, Blaine’s in the front seat, they’re
singing along to Perfect on the radio.
Oh, pretty pretty please

Don’t you ever ever feel

Like you’re less than, less than perfect
Kurt’s phone lights up.

MUSIC CUE: Perfect moves into a mimetic space, quietened,

playing as if it were on the radio itself.
BLAINE
Let me get that.
(He answer’s Kurt’s phone)
Kurt Hummel’s phone.
(Beat)
Brittany, slow down, calm down,
we’ll come and get you.

Pretty pretty please

If you ever ever feel like you’re nothing you are perfect
to me

CUT TO:

55 EXT. BRITTANY’S HOUSE - WEDNESDAY 1620 55

MUSIC CUE: Perfect returns to normal.

The whole world’s scared so I swallow the fear

The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 48.

Kurt pulls up to the kerb in his car. Brittany rushes

straight out from her front door and leaps into the
backseat.

CUT TO:

56 EXT. THE STREETS OF LIMA - WEDNESDAY 1620 56

Santana, still crying, lies against the building. Traffic
whizzes past.
She is alone.
So cool in line, and we try try try,

But we try too hard and it’s a waste of my time

CUT TO:

57 INT. KURT’S CAR - WEDNESDAY 1630 57

Britt in the backseat, Kurt and Blaine in the front.

Britt’s leaning over, searching.
KURT
She could be anywhere!

Done looking for the critics, cause they’re everywhere

They dont like my jeans, they don’t get my hair
BLAINE
Then we keep looking!
Exchange ourselves, and we do it all the time Why do we do
that? Why do I do that?
BRITTANY
There!
Why do I do that?
CUT TO:

58 EXT. THE STREETS OF LIMA - WEDNESDAY 1630. 58

Kurt’s car pulls up and Brittany jumps out. Santana’s
still leaning against the non-descript, industrial wall.
Brittany instantly throws her arms around her and kisses
her.
Yeah, oh, oh baby, pretty please! Pretty pretty please,
Don’t you ever ever feel Like you’re less than, less than
perfect

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 49.

ANGLE: Brittany comforting Santana, in the rain, with

Kurt’s car in view. The window winds down.
Pretty pretty please If you ever ever feel like you’re
nothing, you are perfect to me

BLAINE
Come on, you’ll get sick out
there!
Brittany helps Santana up. She’s not crying anymore. Her
face is still puffy, her clothes are still soaked, but
she’s holding Brittany’s hand and she’s happy.
Yeaaahhh...! You are perfect, you’re perfect!

They begin walking to Kurt’s car. Brittany opens the door

and the pair, soaking wet, get into the back.
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you’re
nothing

You are perfect to me.

As the song winds down, the car drives away.
CUT TO:

59 INT. BRITTANY’S HOUSE - WEDNESDAY, 1900 59

Santana, in Brittany’s room. She’s changed clothes, and
she’s drying her hair with a TOWEL. Brittany is/has
doing/done the same. There’s a knock on the door, and in
walks CLARA PIERCE, Brittany’s mother. She is in her
forties, blonde, a larger woman. She’s looking a little
serious.
CLARA
I just got off the phone with
your mother, Santana. She
believes, and I agree, that for
the moment, you should stay with
us. Not for long, probably just
for the night. She told me what
happened, and we just agreed that
you need a safe space, not a
confrontation.
SANTANA
Thanks for this, Mrs. Pierce.

CLARA
(To Brittany)
I think I just heard the oven
timer go off. Would you get the
Pizza and grab some plates?

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 50.

BRITTANY
Sure.
Britt leaves the room. Clara shuts the door behind her and
sits on Britt’s bed.
CLARA
I wanted to say, Santana, that
there’s always a place for you
here.

SANTANA
... You don’t know how much that
means to me.
Santana sits down next to Clara.

CLARA
You and Britt are together,
aren’t you?
SANTANA
I-
CLARA
Oh, don’t worry. I know. I’ve
always known. Britt’s never been
one for secrets. She came home,
when she had just started at
McKinley, and she comes rushing
in, telling us all about this new
girl she’d met at Cheerleading
Tryouts. It was weeks of ’Santana
this’, ’Santana that’.
SANTANA
I remember that. We were pretty
inseperable.

CLARA
And that’s why it doesn’t matter
what boys she brings home, or
whatever mistakes she might make,
no matter what, she’ll come home,
gushing about you. You make my
daughter happy, and for that,
there’s always a place in my home
for you.
Santana smiles as Brittany reenters the room, carrying a
pizza and some plates.
BRITTANY
Dinner’s ready, San.

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 51.

CLARA
I’ll leave you two to it. Sorry
we couldn’t find you something
healthier for dinner.

Clara stands to leave.

SANTANA
Oh, I’m not sure how this could
get better.

Britt sits next to her, and they share a slice of pizza.

CUT TO:

60 INT. MCKINLEY CORRIDORS - THURSDAY 1300 60

Kurt opens his locker and removes a FOLDER. Rachel
approaches.
RACHEL
I heard about what happened with
Figgins.
KURT
I don’t know what happened.

RACHEL
I do. I stuffed the boxes in your
favor.
ON-SCREEN TEXT (Fade In): Thursday.

KURT
Rachel, how-
RACHEL
It was stupid, and I’m sorry. I
just couldn’t handle the thought
of you losing.
KURT
Well, thanks a lot. Now I’ve
lost.

RACHEL
I’m sorry.
KURT
You have to turn yourself in,
Rachel. If you don’t, I don’t
even know what will happen.
RACHEL
Well-

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 52.

KURT
Only you can make this right,
Rachel.

CUT TO:

61 INT. CHOIR ROOM - THURSDAY 1300 61

Puck is messing around with a GUITAR when Quinn enters the
room.
QUINN
I can’t take this. I saw her
yesterday, at the mall, shopping
with Beth. Our Beth.

PUCK
I’m not listening.
QUINN
Oh, that’s mature. I know-

PUCK
That she’s a good mother and
we’ve already had this
conversation?

QUINN
What is it? What exactly put you
on her side?
Puck looks to one side.

PUCK
It’s nothing.
QUINN
Oh my god. I know that look.
You’re... you’re sleeping with
her, aren’t you?
PUCK
That’s none of your-

QUINN
I knew it! How else could someone
blind you to your child-
PUCK
Enough!

Quinn falls silent.

PUCK (CONT.)
We aren’t even... I don’t know. I
know she’s going to break it off
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 53.

PUCK (CONT.) (cont’d)

at the first sign of trouble. I
can feel it.

QUINN
Please, tell me more.
ANGLE: Away from Puck and Quinn, onto Blaine and Kurt,
entering the choir room. The rest of New Directions and
the Troubletones, with the exception of Rachel, Will,
Shelby, Brittany and Santana, enter. Kurt enters holding a
FORM.
KURT
This is it. My NYADA application
form.

BLAINE
You’ll be fine. President would
have been icing on the cake.
You’re one of the most talented
people in the country, even if
you’re not in student government.
KURT
Oh, how I hope they realise that.

Kurt and Blaine sit. Britt and Santana enter. Santana is

holding her phone.
SANTANA
For personal reasons, I felt it
pertinent to follow a certain
election’s results. The wonders
of technology tell me that we
should be congratulating a Mr.
Burt Hummel on his recent
election.

KURT
(Jumping to his feet)
He won?!
SANTANA
Yes he did.

Kurt rushes to leave, excited, but Santana stops him.

SANTANA (CONT.)
Easy there, fellow human being. I
have something I need to say.
Kurt looks at her, mouths the words "fellow human being"
confusedly, before reluctantly returning to his seat.

(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 54.

SANTANA (CONT.)
This has been a hard week for me.
I’m sure I’m not the only one. It
seems like growing up means
things are never easy. I’m not
sure I like that, but that’s the
rule. I want to thank you all. I
asked for some space, and even
though you gave it to me in the
form of ’Lady Music Week’, you
all stepped back and gave me the
room I needed.
(She steps closer to
Brittany and holds her hand)
So, we want to make it official.
No rumors, no nothing. I, Santana
Lopez, am dating Brittany S.
Pierce, and if you have problem
with that, I am happy to devote a
week of songs to how terrible a
person you are.

The assembled group laughs and cheers. Santana and

Brittany kiss. Kurt stands up.
KURT
And I’d like to take this
opportunity to reveal something I
was told in confidence. Tomorrow
morning, Figgins will make the
announcement that our new class
president is one Miss Brittany S.
Pierce.

He walks over to her and extends his hand. Brittany shakes

it with her free hand.
KURT (CONT.)
Rule wisely. Rule fabulously.

Shelby enters the room.

SHELBY
Alright, are we all here? I think
we’ve got time for one more song.
We should really spend Friday
practicing for Sectionals.
FINN
Mr. Schue and Rachel both aren’t
here.

ARTIE
That’s like the least likely
thing in the world.

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 55.

KURT
I suspect Mr. Schue is with my
father, revelling in the news. As
for Rachel.

TINA
(Looking out of the door)
We have incoming.
Rachel enters the room, looking sombre.

KURT
Rachel? What’s wrong?
RACHEL
I... I told Figgins that I
stuffed the ballots for the
election.
KURT
But he said-

RACHEL
I have been suspended. One week.
That includes a ban on
participation in Sectionals.
Kurt stands up and hugs her. Blaine and Finn both follow.

CUT TO:

62 EXT. LIONEL Q. FRUMP MEMORIAL PARK - FRIDAY 1400 62

(Continuing Sc. 1)
SANTANA
I’d like to raise a toast to
everyone we know.

BRITTANY
That’s a lot of people.
SANTANA
Rachel did the right thing,
despite knowing the consequences.
Finn, despite being an ass,
actually learned to back down for
once. Who knows what else people
have been through this week. I
know Quinn and Puck were looking
shifty in Glee Club... But most
of all, I want to raise a toast
to Brittany, who knew I was
falling apart, and who did the
smart thing - she called the only
two people who might know what I
was going through.

(CONTINUED)
 CONTINUED: 56.

BRITTANY
I just knew Kurt had a car. They
didn’t even really help, they
just drove us to mine.

SANTANA
But you knew I was hurting and
you asked for help, and for that
I will always be grateful.

BRITTANY
I love you, Santana.
Santana lies down, resting her head on Britt’s chest.
SANTANA
I love you too.
She is smiling.
CUT TO:

63 INT. CHOIR ROOM - THURSDAY 1310 63

(Continuing from Sc. 61, a few moments later).
New Directions and the Troubletones sit as Santana once
again stands before them.
SANTANA
So, I’d like to close out this
week with a song that’s always
helped me. It’s a song
fundamentally about marching
onward... and I think that’s
something we could all use a
little reminder of.
MUSIC CUE: Constant Craving - KD Lang, as covered by
Santana Lopez, Shelby Corcoran and Kurt Hummel (Naya
Rivera, Idina Menzel and Chris Colfer).
Santana begins to sing, a smile on her face as she does.
It’s not a broad smile, it is slight - a start.

The following scenes are intercut:

64 INT. SANTANA’S HOUSE - KITCHEN - FRIDAY (UNDEFINED TIME)

64

Santana returns home. She drops some BAGS on the kitchen

floor as Maria and Javier approach, hugging.
A constant craving,

Has always been.

 57.

65 INT. MCKINLEY CORRIDORS - FRIDAY (UNDEFINED TIME) 65

Shelby, walking the halls of McKinley, singing, but it
goes unnoticed. She’s happy, but it’s fragile. As Puck
walks past, smiling at her, she smiles back.
Maybe a great magnet pulls poor souls towards truth...
A knowing smile from Quinn shatters her face.

Or maybe it is life itself, that leads wisdom to its

use...

66 INT. MCKINLEY LIBRARY - FRIDAY (UNDEFINED TIME) 66

Kurt and Blaine, in the library, as Kurt fills out his

NYADA application. Blaine looks hopeful, but Kurt is dour.
This constant craving has always been...

67 INT. SHELBY’S HOUSE - UNSPECIFIED DAY 67

Shelby is looking at photos of Beth when her phone rings.
It is Puck. She smiles at first, but looks to Beth, and
then back to the phone.

She presses ignore.

68 INT. MCKINLEY LOCKER ROOM - UNSPECIFIED DAY 68

Beiste and Cooter, talking. It is silent, but Beiste is

clearly unhappy, and Cooter is clearly trying to make
amends.

69 INT. SANTANA’S BEDROOM - UNDEFINED LATER DATE 69

Santana is in her bedroom. She’s holding a PICTURE FRAME -

it’s her and her abuelita. She removes the back and
removes the picture. She hesitantly sets it down on a
BOOKCASE before picking up the REPLACEMENT PHOTO - one of
her and Brittany, smiling. She places it into the frame.

She smiles.
Craving... A-ha...

70 INT. WILL’S OFFICE - THURSDAY 1500 70

A celebration. Burt and Will are happy, laughing. EMMA
PILLSBURY sits next to Kurt. She is smiling. He is not.
Kurt joins in with the song.
 58.

Has always been...

71 INT. CHOIR ROOM - THURSDAY 1315 71

Santana finishes her song. She smiles, and the group

converges on her. A group hug. Everyone’s happy and
laughing.
ZOOM OUT: Slow, to show the throng of people.

SMASH CUT TO:

CLOSE UP: Santana’s face. Her smile, for an instant,
breaks.

CUT TO BLACK.
END.