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Post - Magazine, September 22, 2011
Post - Magazine, September 22, 2011
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Editors-in-Chief Sam Knowles Amelia Stanton Managing Editor of Features Charles Pletcher Managing Editor of Arts & Culture Jennie Young Carr Managing Editor of Lifestyle Jane Brendlinger Features Editors Zo Hoffman Emily Spinner Arts & Culture Editors Clayton Aldern Tyler Bourgoise Lifestyle Editors Jen Harlan Alexa Trearchis Pencil Pusher Phil Lai Chief Layout Editor Clara Beyer Aesthetic Mastermind Lucas Huh Copy Chiefs Julia Kantor Justine Palefsky Staff Wrter Berit Goetz Copy Editors Lucas Huh Kristina Petersen Allison Shafir Berge Watcher Matt Klebanoff
CONTENTS
internsh*ts // charles pletcher
NAKED PHOTO
3 upfront 4 feature
a sentimental education // marshall katheder o, canada // michael chiboucas blurring the lines // amelia stanton a world without borders // berit goetz my muffin is all that // jen harlan community works // emily spinner
Naked people! In a show! Check out The Visit at PW, this Friday through Monday night.
8 lifestyle sexicon // MM
emily post just dorian
OUR ILLUSTRATORS
cover // madeleine denman internshits // sheila sitaram ruth // phil lai canada // phil lai perkins // anish gonchigar borders // adela wu muffins // marissa ilardi
weekend
Post- Magazine is published every Thursday in the Brown Daily Herald. It covers books, theater, music, film, food, art, and University culture around College Hill. Post- editors can be contacted at post.magazine@gmail. com. Letters are always welcome, and can be either e-mailed or sent to Post- Magazine, 195 Angell Street, Providence, RI 02906. We claim the right to edit letters for style, clarity, and length.
five
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BLOW YOUR MIND Phi Sci Fri 10PM FIRE & ICE Zete Sun 10PM
TOP TEN Things You Dont Want to Hear After a One-Night Stand
upfront
1 2 3 4 5
6 7 8 9
I like the way your nostrils flare when you sleep. I f*cking love cocaine!
music is
listening to drunken serenades of the new babies in the Intergalactic Council of A Cappella.
Think about how great this will be when you lose 10 pounds. I love you.
10
books is
eating leftovers, reading The Leftovers, and fantasizing about the rapture.
Internsh*ts
tv is
looking for shelter under Ron Swansons manly-man mustache on the season premiere of Parks and Recreation. Tonight.
theatre is
taking nudy pics of theatre nerds in the downspace. Go see PWs The Visit. Sept 23-26.
food is
booze is
running out of ways to advertise $1 drinks.
feature
POST-
A Sentimental Education
many. A 20 percent increase in faculty. Beginning need-blind admissions. Countless facility renovations and several new buildings. Simmons also advocated for environmental responsibility, sought accountability for our deplorable relationship with slavery, and worked to improve the overall quality of student life. Brown was noted in the Princeton Review for having the happiest students in the country two years in a row, in both 2009 and 2010. Ultimately, Ruths greatest contribution to Brown is polishing its product name. The press she received early in her careerTime Magazine ranked her Americas best college president the same year she was sworn inraised Texas Instruments and Pfizer but has since resigned. Now that shes announced her resignation from Brown, I suspect that Simmons, who served considerably longer than the typical college president, will take her time offsorry, sabbaticaland enjoy her considerable earned wealth. Just as Brown will enjoy the fruits of her labor. Its a highly mutual arrangement. But with the peak of the Ruthrooters fervor long gone, is the Heralds choice to put a picture of her gleefully embracing a student for their exhaustive tribute a silly scoop? Absolutely. Simmons image is too watertight to not be manicured. She is a good face for a good school. That doesnt mean she doesnt care, but shes clearly not in the business of academia just for the hugs. Its obvious that Simmons legacy is sure to be nothing less than notable. And her successor will no doubt have difficulty
Browns profile. Simmons presence partly contributed to Brown re-entering the national stage; last year Brown received more applicants than ever beforenearly 31,000. Despite the murky shadow of the Big Three (Princeton, Harvard, and Yale), Brown has become a fashionable choice (enter Family Guy, the O.C., Gossip Girl, etc.). And the chic quality of the Brown brand, with our lofty school crest, makes it more valuable. The diplomas are worth more. Make no mistake, the modern university is a business. And Simmons is a shrewd businesswoman. In 2009 Simmons was paid $323,539 for her position at Goldman Sachs. In 2010 she left there with a stock worth $4.3 million. That, in addition to her $576,000 salary from Brown. During her tenure she also served on the boards of
matching her likeability and effectiveness. But there are contradictions in her glossy guise. The record of her presidency resists her being chalked up to an ever-beaming, sociallyprogressive personality. Her clout should be considered. It doesnt diminish the value of her tenure, which is extraordinary. It doesnt make her
O, CANADA
michael CHIBOUCAS contributing writer
CANADA is an art collective from Barcelona, the work of which includes the eccentric, often re-blogged music videos for Ice Cream by Battles and Bombay by El Guincho. Multilingual in context, the collective is responsible for a variety of artistic modes: music videos such as these, interviews, short films, advertisements, and screen tests. The clips serve as extremely enthusiastic and earnest love letters to French New Wave nonsense, and the viewers ability to enjoy such nonsense will likely determine how they feel about these pieces. When the groups absurdity is combined with the lack of exposition in the CANADA website, an environment for untethered exploration of this nonsense is created. Some may write the collective off as all style and no substance, or as a very close friend put it, meta-bullshit. The only proper response to such a statement would be: of course. Many of the videos, regardless of mode, seem to focus on one topic. A first viewing of a CANADA video is akin to running alongside a train that has been deliberately boarded up by the artists. The group tends to indulge in ob-
scurity, sometimes supplying nothing more than an abstract title and an irrelevant advertising thumbnail. It is as if the group is trying to keep the viewer permanently ignorant, and in the time spent, one forgets why he was trying to board the train in the first place. One of CANADAs pieces appears to be about how the bland subjects are slaves to their cigarette addiction. They look tired, the video is scrubbed so the smoke reverses back into their mouths, they continue to tire as the video goes on, and the pattern is repeated in a monotonous drone. CANADA says nothing as if to hide that they have nothing to say, and then the question is raised again: is this just stylized nonsense? Yesbut that nonsense is the point, and they are actually pretty great at it. Whereas some music videos tell a story, others stylishly score a song. It is immediately obvious which kind of music video CANADA makes. Paradoxically, the frustratingly inaccessible videos are very easy to watch, simply because of how much fun they are. Animal costumes, weird video overlap manipulation, bows and arrows, dancers and aesthetic beach
site, the absence of the interviewer and the ceaseless focus of the viewer on the girl create the perfect space to intimately engage with her words. Art makes itself about its audience. In generating an environment that encourages connection to their nonsense, CANADA imposes the relevance of independent art. The fact that CANADA promises the viewer nothing is the groups greatest strength. Free from expectations, they operate in a weird, infinite artistic space that permits making a statementor an understatement. We invite you to skate around in the infinite space of CANADAs barebones, thumbnail gallery of a website. It is hard not to feel comfortable, which in turn makes it pretty hard not to have fun with them ... even if it is a bunch of nonsense.
In order for said manuscript to arrive in the hands of a powerhouse editor at Open Road in the first place, it needs to be backed by an agent. Upon receiving a given manuscript from a writer seeking representation, the agent often asks for a complete round of edits sometimes two, even threebefore she will even consider pitching it to a publisher. And yes, it is an intern who first reads the manuscript and briefs the agent on its publishing potential. The agent cant possibly read every manuscript that arrives at her office. I was further disillusioned by A. Scott Bergs National Book Award winning Max Perkins Editor of Genius, which my boss encouraged me to read over a long weekend. Youll never look at a book the same way again, she said. My authoridol worship might, alas, be misguided. Perkins is likely the most widely known literary editor in American history. Starting in the early 20th century, he carefully challenged conventions at the hallowed
berit GOETZ
In recent weeks, the media has been agog with reports of a certain earthquake striking Virginiaan earthquake that shook the foundations of our nations capital, cracked the roof of the National Cathedral, and even set apartment buildings swaying in Boston. But dear readers, it is my bounden duty to report that this was no natural disaster. The tremors you felt stemmed from a severe shock to the American system, yesbut the shock was not geologic. That shock was the crashing fall of a retail giant: that once-invincible purveyor of the printed word, Borders Books.
When the #2 American bookstore chain filed for bankruptcy on Feb. 16, bookworms wept nationwide. Borders announced that it would close 200 stores and a distribution warehouse, lay off 45 employees at its Michigan headquarters, and delay payments to publishers in an attempt to stay afloat in a cutthroat print market. Investors, however, were not impressed; in fact, the chains second-largest shareholder, Wall Street rockstar William Ackman, publically called Borders his worst investment ever. This vote of no confidence was the beginning of the end. On July 18, Borders finally announced plans to throw in the towel completely, kicking off a two-month grieving period for its many devoted customers. Now, typical Brown students probably wouldnt give a second thought to the fall of a bookstore chain, given our stereotypical penchant for all things independent and quirky. Give us a Mason jar brimming with dark roast, and our flannel-clad ranks will defend
without sacrificing the convenience of a large and varied inventory. With Borders closing, we lose one more way to enjoy the printed word through all our sensesand, with it, a bit of our connection to centuries of reading tradition. No virtual shopping cart can match the feel of paper slightly indented where the ink has pressed it, the solidity of glue-bound book spines, the hush of a vast carpeted space devoted entirely to the written word in all its glorious forms. Borders stores were often quite successful at shedding their strip mall roots; they became instead a place for browsing and luxuriating. The one in my home city boasted reading nooks near the books of existentialist poets; a cheerfully carpeted childrens section complete with toys and bean bags; high, discreet shelves for the seedy romance paperbacks; a generously-appointed caf (with ungenerous prices, unfortunately); and an entire balconied second floor packed with CDs, DVDs, and sundry other media. Borders was even
the Internet as the end of all civilized culture hypothesis, then the death of a bookstore, any bookstore, ought to make consumers, and perhaps students and intellectuals in particular, fiercely protective of the unique pleasures of ink on paper and binding glue. But perhaps you think small independent bookstores across the country are pouring out libations of thanksgivingwith one less Goliath in the ring, the small Davids of biblioretail will have a fighting chance against massive competitors like Barnes & Noble and Amazon. Consider, however, that Borders was not so very different from one of these Davids once. It began its life in 1971 as a usedbook store in the quirky college town of Ann Arbor, Michigan, quickly expanded nationally and abroad only to come to a grinding halt.
all those 90-percent-off goods the next time you drop a fifty for one measly volume of postcolonial theory at the Brown Bookstore. Never fear: I hear Borders.com is still open.
lifestyle
Apple: add 3/4 cup peeled, chopped apple, 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon, and 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg. Blueberry: fold in 3/4 cup fresh or frozen blueberries (thawed). You could add cinnamon to these as well, or a little lemon juice to the wet ingredients. Chocolate chip: add 1 cup mini chocolate chips (or more in this writers opinion, there can never be too much chocolate).
Combine flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt in a large bowl; make a well in the center of the mixture.
Stir together egg, milk, and oil until blended. Add to dry ingredients, stirring just until moistened. Once youve added the filling of your choice, spoon batter into Now thats the base for your lightly greased muffin pans, filling basic, plain, sweet muffin. Easy, 2/3 full. right? Now feel free to spice it up with whatever goodies youd Bake at 400 degrees for 13-14 like to toss in. Some of my favor- minutes. Remove from pans imite variations include: mediately.
Community Works
emily SPINNER
You checked the box. Complete bullshit, slight exaggeration, or total authenticity ruled the 10 stingy lines the Common Application devotes to extracurricular activities, the eye candy of college admissions directors. Envisioning the jam-packed April envelope, you wrote the words that guaranteed a closer look. Undoubtedly, you scribbled: I do community service. Like saying please and thank you, we were taught at a young age that volunteerism and community service are societal expectations and that there are many people less fortunate than we are. Recall the old dinner table admonition, Finish your crust first, there are starving children in Africa. But as successive generations of children have asked, what does one thing have to do with the other? A dual ambiguity troubles most notions of community service: What is community, after all? And if we can answer that, then what is service? There is merit to ladling soup for the hungry and donating cold-weather clothing, but the merit and the action do not correspond neatly. Theres something at work behind the mere
lifestyle
POST-
Cooter Coterie
MM sexpert
Right between Gonzo and Hairy on XTubes categories of pornographic videos, theres Group Sex. Its a vague term, as it can comprise of participants of any gender, orientation, race, or age, doing any of an infinite number of sex acts. Unlike most fetish porn, group sex porn is by nature inclusiveeach scenes possibilities equal to the permutations of all members interests, experiences, and desires. Im going to go ahead and say that group sex is the most postmodern kind of porn. Part of the appeal of group sex is that you can watch sex happening while youre engaging in it. And when youre spanking it to group sex viddies, youre watching people watch people having sex. And everybodys getting off. I think of the orgy scene in Borat every time I think of group sex. But the term doesnt just refer to swingers at sex parties or orgiastic pornstars; group sex can look like a threesome, a foursome, double-penetration, a gangbang, a circle jerk. Bunga-bunga is the technical term for underwater group
Emily Post-
Dear Emily, I met my girlfriend during orientation. Our eyes locked at the ice cream social, and for a brief, Elysian moment, we were the it couple of the freshman class. But our blossoming romance has been uprooted; she found an older man and dumped me. I am not writing to inquire what Brad of the class of 2014.5 has that I do not (chest hair and a single, she kindly informed me). I am writing because of the ignominious behavior of her friends, shallow shedevils who shared mozzarella sticks with me at Jos, only to go home and like the end of my relationship on Facebook. Surely the empress of etiquette has some censorious words for them? --Dumped and Diss-Liked
Empress? Ah, you flatter me. I have not even a principality to my name, just a simple scriptorium where Otto, my personal monk, transcribes and illuminates my e-mail correspondence. I find that a bit of calligraphy and gold leaf goes a long way toward civilizing this barbaric age. Speaking of barbarismI shudder at your story. What business had you making a relationship of less than a months duration Facebook-official? An Emily Post- rule of thumb: If your relationship has not outlived a carton of milk, do not consummate it technologically. Other interests, and invest in a scriptorium. forms of consummation I leave entirely
to your discretion. Preliminaries aside, I must admit that these she-devils comported themselves quite poorly. It is a misfortune of our modern age that spite is so easily and publicly expressed. However, there is the slim possibility that their like of the situation is due to their excitement that you are newly single. I suggest that you choose to believe this interpretation and embrace your status as a hot commodity on the relationship market, rather than fretting over Facebook pettiness. Its a harsh world out there, DDL. You will be unceremoniously dumped, and your friends will decline to exchange handwritten missives via carrier pigeon. Yet, you must strive to remain above the fray. Behave as if you are unmoved by these small dramas, even if you then must lock yourself in your room and listen to Everybody Hurts on repeat. (Actually, turn that off, and turn on Sono andati? from La Bohme. Now thats music to weep to.) What was I saying? Ah, yesabove the fray. Do not lower yourself to monitoring Facebook for reactions to your break-up, or presenting a friend with a mated pair of carrier pigeons for her birthday when you know that she wanted a Svres tea service. Bitches will be bitches, and philistines will write e-mails. Distract yourself by Facebook-stalking potential love
fiends of flirting
Dear Dorian, I am a flirtatious person. I enjoy making people laugh, and, for me, that often involves jokes that rely on sexual undertones. How do I go about maintaining my friendly way of interacting with people while avoiding leading them on and being seen as someone who gets around? Forever Translation Dear FLIRT, There are many benefits to being a flirty person: you make friends quickly, youre accepted into many social groups, and people always seem to be smiling at you. But, at the same time, this leaves you constantly beating off the poor scoundrels who fall head over heels for your winning charm. It sounds like you are quite an endearing personare you by any chance single? Back to these people you may be leading on: do you notice that they sometimes seem to flip a switch and get awkward around you? Perhaps they become very forward and ask you outright to be in a relationship, or maybe they seem suddenly putoff by your flirtatious nature. In any case, its important to recognize the signs of pushing through the waferLost in Romantic thin boundaries of the friend-zone and wandering off into the boundless unknown of peoples sexual fantasies. Did I mention how enticing your friendly nature is? I bet you have a wonderful smile ... I can almost picture it. Oh yes, well. About those boundaries. Learn how to recognize when you may have accidentally crossed the line with someone. If you dont, you run the risk that their confused emotions will fester within them until they heighten to such intensity that they cannot be contained and erupt! Then they are left with no choice but to give in to their most carnal instincts... Oh, mywasnt that exciting! I feel like this is going somewhere ... Are you free for dinner this evening? Ahem. Most importantly, keep in mind that this is who you are, and you should never feel the need to change in order to fit in. Just be aware of how other people react to your flirtatious behavior. As long as your actions are within reasonable limits, its their own fault if theyre obsessed with you. Excellent! I will see you at nine, you mischievous minx! Your Friendly Neighborhood Stag, Dorian