I’m Not Crazy… Right?

(Awkwardly standing/sitting scratching head) Erm… you see, that’s where things
seem to get a little bit confusing. I’m just… not too sure where to start really. (laughs
nervously). Where do I even begin? (Thinking)

Oh, well I suppose there was this one time, my first date. Yes... yeah…

I know what you’re thinking, how could a pathetic little date have caused all of my
troubles. But when I sit here and tell you that I have never been more embarrassed
about anything in my entire life, I’m really not kidding. First of all, I make myself look
like the biggest bloody moron ever by picking her up late before heading off to the
adventure golf. All because some inconsiderate arsehole decided that it was the
perfect day to overtake a 50ft lorry whilst there was traffic coming in the opposite
direction. I mean seriously, WHAT a prat. And the best part is, that wasn’t even the
worst of it.

You see, when we did finally get to the Golf, with the journey being the most
awkward it could have possibly been may I just add, everything was done digitally,
and stupid me only went and forgot her frickin’ name didn’t I? Well, that was it wasn’t
it. (Becomes upset, swallowing) She left… She left me all alone. Tell me, why
would she do that? (Angry) WHY!?

(Becomes paranoid that the Therapist is looking at him funny)

What’s so funny? Is my struggle so hilarious to you, that you just can’t stop yourself
from smirking?

(Aggression levels rise) Life must be so easy for you. Getting paid just to sit in that
cushty little chair of yours, coffee in hand with your rose-tinted sunglasses on, with
not any care about anyone else’s problems but your own. (Shunts backwards and
snaps out of aggression)

(Inhales and exhales to calm down)

I’m sorry. (Begins to daydream, imagining for a different life)

Man, what I would give just to have one day where my head was clear. Where
nothing around me was blurred and I could just see things for exactly how they were,
and not let my brain convince me otherwise. You want to know exactly how I feel?
Imagine you’re in a house. But there’s no way in for any outsiders, and there’s no
way you can escape. All you see is the questionable looks from people through the
fogged-up windows, with the only voice I can hear being the one in my head, telling
me that they’re judging me, even if they aren’t.

Who am I kidding? You’re probably judging me right now? But, I’m not crazy… right?