Young Adult Symptom Reduction – Week One

Week One
- Values -

“It’s not hard to make decisions

once you know what your values are.“

- Roy E. Disney

Topic(s):
- What are values?
- The Bull’s Eye
- One Garden Exercise
- Identifying and Clarifying Values
- Practice the Values in Action Log
Homework:
- Values in Action Log
Materials adapted, and parts taken from:
Mind and Emotions: A Universal Treatment for Emotional Disorders, Matthew McKay, Patrick Fanning, Patricia
Zurita Ona. (2011). Oakland, CA:New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
ACT Made Simple, Russ Harris. (2009). Oakland:New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

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Young Adult Symptom Reduction – Week One

What are Values?

Values are statements about what you want to be doing with your life: about
what you stand for and how you want to behave on an ongoing basis. They are
leading principles that can guide us and motivate us to move through life.

Your values are your chosen directions in life. They’re what you want your life to
be about. Your values give your life meaning, vitality, power, inspiration, and
motivation. They help activate you to break out of life-restricting patterns caused
by anxiety and shame, or the torpor and withdrawal that fuel depression.

Values clarification directly addresses the factor of short-term focus, the

maladaptive coping strategy that allows painful emotions you feel in the moment
to prevent you from doing what you really want to do in the longer term. You
focus on avoiding pain in the short-term, even though this has huge costs later in
terms of quality of life.

Example

Value: Companionship and Intimacy

Problem: Anxiety, panic, feeling unworthy

Short-term choice: Do not accept an invitation to go out on a date

Long-term cost: You may not find that companion you desire. Your life becomes
constricted over time

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Young Adult Symptom Reduction – Week One

It is important to make a distinction between values and goals.

Values Goals
Values are a direction Goals are specific destinations or
checkpoints
Values are a process Goals are a product
Tend to be expressed as basic, Are specific, measurable, time-
intrinsic, and abstract principles (ie oriented (ie I will walk 30 minutes a
love, truth, trust, fidelity) day on M, W, F)
Example: Honesty is a value. Example: Returning something you
stole is a goal.

The Compass Metaphor: Values are like a compass. A compass gives you direction
and keeps you on track when you are traveling. And our values do the same for
the journey of life. We use them to choose the direction in which we want to
move and to keep us on track as we go. So when you act on a value, it’s like
heading west. No matter how far west you travel you never get there; there is
always further to go. But goals are like the things you try to achieve on your
journey: they are like the sights you want to see to the mountains you want to
climb while you keep on traveling west.

First, we must identify and clarify your values.

Example: “Getting Married” vs. “Being Loving”

If you want to be loving and caring, that is a value—it’s ongoing; you want to
behave in that way for the rest of your life. And in any moment you have a choice:
you can either act on that value or neglect it. But if you want to get married,
that’s a goal. It is something that can be completed or achieved, crossed off the
list. And you can achieve that goal of marriage even if you completely neglect
your values of being caring or loving (of course your marriage may not last that
long).

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Young Adult Symptom Reduction – Week One

5 Key Points of Values

1. Values are here and now; goals are in the future.

• You can choose to act on them in any moment. Even if it’s a value
that has been totally neglected for years. In this moment, right now,
you can act on it. In contrast, goals are always something in the future,
something you are aiming for. The moment you achieve it, it is no
longer a goal.
2. Values never need to be justified.
• Values are like our taste in ice cream: we don’t need to justify why we
like strawberry or chocolate—or whatever your favorite flavor is.
Values are simply statements about what’s meaningful to us; we never
need to justify them. In contrast we may need to justify the actions
that we take. If you value connecting with nature, you don’t have to
justify that—but if you quit school to move from the city to the
country and live in a tent, you may have a lot of explaining to do.
3. Values often need to be prioritized.
• Because all of our values are available in each moment, we’ll need to
prioritize which ones we act on and from. For example, we may value
being loving and caring toward our partner, but if our partner is
continually hostile and abusive to us, we may need to cut off contact
with them because our value of self-protection and self-nurture take
priority. Our values of being loving and caring haven’t disappeared,
they have just been prioritized.
4. Values are best held lightly.
• Pursue your values vigorously, but hold them lightly. We want to be
aware of our values and in contact with them, but we don’t want to be
fused with them. When we fuse with them, our values start to feel
oppressive and restrictive. They turn into rigid rules, rather than
flexible guidelines.
5. Values are freely chosen.
• We consciously choose to bring these desired qualities to our actions.
We don’t have to act in this way; we choose to simply because it
matters to us. Ask yourself, “suppose I had a magic wand that I could
wave and have any values I wanted, what values would I choose?”
This is a great question because whatever values you choose in a
magical world you can act on in this very same moment.

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Young Adult Symptom Reduction – Week One

The Bull’s Eye

What do you want to do with your time on this planet? What sort of person do you want to be?
What personal strengths or qualities do you want to develop? Write a few words under each heading.

1. Work and Education: (includes workplace, career, education, skills development)

2. Relationships: (includes your partner, children, parents, relatives, friends, co-workers)

3. Personal Growth/Health: (religion, spirituality, creativity, life skills, mindfulness, exercise,

nutrition, and/or addressing health-risk factors)

4. Leisure: (how you play, relax, or enjoy yourself; activities for rest, recreation, fun, creativity)

Mark an X in each area of the dartboard, to represent where you stand today.

Work/Education Leisure

I am acting very
inconsistently
with my values

I am living
fully by my
values

Personal Growth/ Relationships

Health

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Young Adult Symptom Reduction – Week One

The One Life Garden: Part 1, if we had to choose

Gardens can be big or small, for now, let’s think about your Whole Life Garden
as stretching out across your own personal world. Imagine that you could only
care for parts of this Whole Life Garden and let others parts go. Just to be very,
very clear, I am not asking you to give up on any area of life. But as a way to
change our perspective, I ask that you imagine a world in which you had to
choose to give up different areas in four steps. Pause and take six slow mindful
breaths between each of the four steps.

First, imagine you had to let go of half of these areas. Put an X through half of
the areas.
Eyes closed and Pause for Six Breaths on Purpose….
Second, imagine a world where you had to cross out half of the ones that are
left.
Cross out three more.
Eyes closed and Pause for six mindful breaths
Third, imagine a world where you had to cross out one more, leaving only two.
Cross out one more.
Eyes closed and Pause for six mindful breaths….
Fourth, and finally, imagine you had to cross out one more, leaving only
one. Cross out one more!
Eyes closed and Pause for six mindful breaths….

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Young Adult Symptom Reduction – Week One

Identifying Your Core Values

1. Intimate relationships. This domain is about your relationship with your significant other
(spouse, partner, lover, boyfriend, girlfriend). If you aren’t with anyone right now, you can still
work on this domain in terms of your ideal relationship with some future person. Typical terms
for values in the domain of intimate relationships are “love,” “openness,” and “fidelity”
2. Parenting. What does being a mother or father mean to you? You can answer this question
even if you don’t have children. In the domain of parenting, many people use terms like
“protecting,” “teaching,” and “love.”
3. Education, Growth and Development. Whether or not you’re in school, there are many
times in your life when you’re learning something new. Attending this class is a good example.
Terms for values related to learning might be “truth,” “wisdom,” and “skill.”
4. Friends and social life. Who is your closest friend? How many good friends do you have?
What would you like to be doing with your friends, or how many new friends would you have, if
your fear, sadness, anger, or shame didn’t get in the way? Values that underlie friendship
might be expressed with words like “loyalty,” “trust,” and “love.”
5. Physical and health. What kinds of changes would you like to see in your life in terms of
diet, exercise, and preventive measures? In the domain of the physical, values are expressed
with words like “strength,” “vitality,” and “health.”
6. Family of origin. Consider the importance of your relationship with your father, mother, and
siblings. How would you like these relationships to be? Many people speak of their values
related to their family of origin with terms like “love,” “respect,” “acceptance,” and
“boundaries.”
7. Spirituality. Are you aware of or connected to something larger than yourself? Spirituality is
wide-open. It can take the form of meditation, mindfulness, participation in organized religion,
walks in the woods, or whatever works for you. People’s values in this area usually involve
having a certain relationship to God, a higher person, power, chi (energy), or the universe.
8. Community life, environment and citizenship. Do your negative emotions keep you from
charitable work, serving your community, or political action of some kind? Values in the public
area are often expressed with words like “justice,” “responsibility,” and “charity.”
9. Recreation, fun and leisure. If you could get past your anger, sadness, guilt, or anxiety, how
would you spend your leisure time? How would you recharge your batteries and reconnect
with family and friends in fun and games? Recreation values are expressed with terms like
“fun,” “creativity,” and “passion.”
10. Work and career. What would you like to accomplish at work? What kind of contribution
would you like to make? What do you want to stand for in your workplace? What intentions
did you have when you started working that you still haven’t put into action? Typical terms for
values related to work and career are “livelihood,” “excellence,” and “stewardship.”

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Young Adult Symptom Reduction – Week One

Values Clarification Worksheet

Domain Value Importance Success Rank

(few key words) (1-10) (1-10) (1-10)
Intimate
relationships

Parenting

Education and
Development

Friends and
social life

Physical self-
care & health

Family of
origin

Spirituality

Community
life &
citizenship
Recreation
and leisure

Work and
career

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Young Adult Symptom Reduction – Week One

Putting Values into Action

In service of my value of: ____________________________________________________

I am willing to feel (what gets in the way): ____________________________________

So that I can: ________________________________________________________________

And I will commit to these steps:

1. ___________________________________________________________________

2. ___________________________________________________________________

3. ___________________________________________________________________

Be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-oriented

In service of my value of: ____________________________________________________

I am willing to feel: __________________________________________________________

So that I can: ________________________________________________________________

And I will commit to these steps:

1. ___________________________________________________________________

2. ___________________________________________________________________

3. ___________________________________________________________________

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Young Adult Symptom Reduction – Week One

Values in Action Log

Most Intentions Barriers Number of times I
important (in detail; who, what, when, (feelings and thoughts that keep acted on my intention
values where, how) me from acting on my during week number…
intentions)

1 2 3 4
Value:

Value:

Value:

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Young Adult Symptom Reduction – Week One

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