INTRA PERSONAL AND INTERPERSONAL SKILLS

What is life skill?

Life skills are essentially those abilities that help to promote mental well-being and
competence in young people as they face the realities of life.
What is INTRA PERSONAL AND INTERPERSONAL SKILLS?
Intra-personal skills refer to a person's ability to understand and manage their own emotions,
thoughts, and behaviors. It involves having self-awareness, self-regulation, and self-
motivation. Interpersonal skills, on the other hand, refer to a person's ability to interact
effectively with others.
There are 8 main points that are related to this unit and we’re going to discuss it.
1. Self-concept and Self-awareness
Self-concept is the image we have of ourselves. It is influenced by many forces,
including our interaction with important people in our lives.
Self-concept has the following important features:
● It is the totality of ideas that a person holds about the self
● It includes everything the person believes to be true about himself/herself
● It is composed of relatively permanent self-assessments that of course changes over
time with life experiences and relationships
● It is not restricted to the present. It also includes past and future selves
● It is a multidimensional construct that refers to an individual's perception of "self" in
relation to a number of characteristics, such as academics, gender roles, racial identity,
and many others
● It guides our actions, motivations, expectations and goals for future
Can Self-concept Be Changed?
Self-Concept is not static, meaning that it can change. them. Self-Concept can change
based on the people with whom we interact. This is particularly true with regard to
individuals in our lives who are in leadership roles.
2. What is Self-awareness?

Self-awareness is your ability to perceive and understand the things that make you who
you are as an individual, including your personality, actions, values, beliefs, emotions, and
thoughts.
3. How to build Self-awareness?
Here are some suggestions to start building self-awareness:
●Practice mindfulness
● Become a good listener
 ● Become more self-aware
● Open your mind to new perspectives
● Develop self esteem
● Look at yourself objectively
● Take feedback from others
● Know your strengths and weakness
● Set intentions and goals

4. The levels of self-awareness

So how exactly do children become aware of themselves as separate beings? One major
theory of self-awareness, introduced by developmental psychologist Philippe Rochat,
suggests that there are five levels of self-awareness. Children progress through these
stages between birth and approximately age 4 or 5:
 Differentiation: A baby begins to acknowledge their own reflection. They may detect
there is something different or special about looking at their reflection.
 Situation: A baby begins to recognize their own reflection, being, and movements as
separate from those around them.
 Identification: This is the stage during which a child fully knows that it is their own
reflection in a mirror. They know, "This is me."
 Permanence: They have a complete sense of themselves and can identify themselves
in pictures or videos, even as their appearance changes.
 Self-consciousness: A child adapts a third-person point of view of themselves; they
become aware of the idea that others perceive them in certain ways. This may result
in feelings such as pride or shame.
5. Self-Concept vs. Self-Awareness
Self-awareness also influences self-concept. It is the quality or trait that involves conscious
awareness of one's own thoughts, feelings, behaviours, and traits (Cherry, 2018). To have a
fully developed self-concept (and one that is based in reality), a person must have at least
some levels of self-awareness.
6. What is Self-esteem?
Self-esteem refers to an individual's overall sense of self-worth and the value they place on
themselves. People with high self-esteem tend to have positive views of themselves, while
those with low self-esteem may have negative self-images and feelings of inadequacy.
For example, a student who is confident in their academic abilities may feel a sense of pride
and accomplishment after earning a high grade on a difficult exam. This positive experience
can reinforce their belief in their own abilities and contribute to a healthy sense of self-
esteem.
On the other hand, a person with low self-esteem may doubt their abilities and be overly
critical of themselves. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and a negative self-image.
It's important to note that self-esteem is not the same as arrogance or narcissism. A healthy
sense of self-esteem is grounded in a realistic understanding of one's strengths and
weaknesses, and a belief in one's intrinsic worth as a human being. There are various aspects
of self-esteem have been differentiated. However, common to these subdivisions is the
distinction between
a (a)self-esteem based on a sense of competence, power, or efficacy: is tied closely to ef-
fective performance. As a result, it is associated with self-attribution and social comparison pro-
cesses.
b
(b) self-esteem based on a sense of virtue or moral worth: is grounded in norms and values
concerning personal and interpersonal conduct e.g., justice, reciprocity, and honour.
7. What is Self Confidence?
Self-confidence refers to a person's belief in their abilities and their likelihood of succeeding in a
given situation. It is based on past experiences and accomplishments, as well as a person's
overall perception of themselves.
Having self-confidence is important for personal and professional success. It allows individuals to
take risks, face challenges, and pursue their goals. Research has shown that individuals to take
risks, face challenges, and pursue their goals. Research has shown that self-confidence is
positively associated with job performance, academic achievement, and leadership ability.
However, self-confidence can also be affected by external factors such as criticism, failure, or lack
of support. When faced with setbacks or obstacles, individuals may experience a decrease in
their self-confidence, which can affect their motivation and ability to succeed.
To build and maintain self-confidence, it is important to set achievable goals, celebrate
successes, and engage in positive self-talk. Seeking support from friends, family, or a mental
health professional can also be helpful in boosting self-confidence.
8. What is Self-Control?
Self-control refers to a person's ability to regulate their thoughts, emotions, and behaviours in
order to achieve long-term goals and resist short-term temptations. Research has shown that
individuals with strong self-control are better able to resist short-term temptations, such as
indulging in unhealthy food or procrastinating, in order to achieve their long-term goals, such as
maintaining a healthy diet or completing a project on time.
It's important to note that self-control is not about suppressing or denying emotions or desires,
but rather learning to manage them in a healthy and constructive way. Building self-control
requires practice and patience, but can lead to greater personal and professional success and
overall well-being.

9. What is Anger?

Anger is a normal, natural emotion that is experienced by all humans. While anger itself is not
necessarily a problem, when it is expressed in unhealthy or destructive ways, it can have
negative consequences for oneself and others. Chronic anger can lead to physical health
problems, relationship difficulties, and even legal problems if it results in violent or aggressive
behavior.
It is important to learn healthy ways of expressing and managing anger, such as using assertive
communication techniques, practicing relaxation techniques, and seeking professional help if
necessary. By learning to manage anger in healthy ways, individuals can improve their overall
emotional well-being and relationships with others.
10. How to manage Anger?
Anger is a natural emotion that can be triggered by a variety of factors such as frustration,
disappointment, or feeling threatened. However, uncontrolled anger can lead to negative
consequences such as strained relationships, poor work performance, and health problems. The
ancient martial art teaches those who practice the art to remain calm, to empty themselves of
anger, and to gain the advantage in a conflict by using their opponent ‘s tendency to strike out in
blind rage. This type of self-control is not just for martial artists. You can develop these
techniques to control your anger and prevent conflicts from getting out of hand
Here are some ways for managing anger:
1.Identify triggers: One of the first steps in managing anger is to identify the situations or people
that trigger your anger. This can help you anticipate and prepare for these situations, and
develop coping strategies in advance.
2.Take a time-out: When you feel yourself getting angry, take a break and step away from the
situation. Take a few deep breaths, count to ten, or go for a walk. This can help you calm down
and gain perspective before reacting.
3.Practice relaxation techniques: Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or progressive
muscle relaxation can help you manage stress and anxiety, which can contribute to feelings of
anger.
4.Express your feelings: It is important to express your feelings in a healthy and constructive way.
Avoid attacking or blaming others, and use "I" statements to express how you feel. For example,
“I feel frustrated when you interrupt me."
5.Problem-solve: If your anger is related to a specific problem or issue, focus on finding a
solution rather than dwelling on the problem. Brainstorm possible solutions, weigh the pros and
cons, and choose a course of action.
11. What is Emotional Intelligence?
It is being able to monitor and regulate one’s own and other feeling to use feeling to guide
thought and action"(Salovey & Mayer,1990). EI is made up of several components, including self-
awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. Self-awareness involves being
able to recognize and understand one's own emotions, while self-regulation involves being able
to manage and regulate these emotions in a healthy way.
Motivation involves using emotions to drive behavior, while empathy involves being able to
understand and respond to the emotions of others. Social skills involve being able to
communicate effectively and build positive relationships with others. Developing emotional
intelligence is important for personal and professional success, as it can help individuals manage
stress, communicate effectively, build positive relationships, and make better decisions. By
learning to recognize and manage emotions in a healthy way, individuals can improve their
overall emotional well-being and relationships with others.
12. Areas of Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence (EI) encompasses several interconnected areas or components that contribute
to a person's overall emotional and social competence. The key areas of emotional intelligence
include:
1. Self-awareness: This involves recognizing and understanding one's own emotions, strengths,
weaknesses, values, and beliefs. Self-aware individuals have a clear understanding of their
emotional states and how their emotions influence their thoughts and behaviours.
2. Self-regulation: Self-regulation refers to the ability to manage and control one's emotions,
impulses, and reactions. It involves staying calm in stressful situations, effectively managing
and expressing emotions, and adapting to changing circumstances.
3. Motivation: Motivation in the context of emotional intelligence refers to the ability to
harness and direct emotions towards achieving personal and professional goals. Motivated
individuals are driven by a sense of purpose, are resilient in the face of challenges, and have
the ability to delay gratification for long-term rewards.
4. Empathy: Empathy is the capacity to understand and share the feelings, perspectives, and
experiences of others. It involves being able to put oneself in someone else's shoes, listen
attentively, and respond with compassion and understanding.
5. Social skills: Social skills encompass a range of abilities that facilitate effective
communication, collaboration, and relationship-building with others. These skills include
active listening, assertiveness, conflict resolution, teamwork, and the ability to influence and
inspire others.
Developing emotional intelligence in these areas can enhance interpersonal relationships, promote
effective communication, support personal well-being, and contribute to overall success in various
domains of life, including personal, academic, and professional settings. It is important to note that
emotional intelligence is a set of skills that can be developed and improved with practice, self-
reflection, and a willingness to learn and grow.
13. How to Control Emotion?
In order to think about how we manage our emotion first we need to think about why we want
to do that. It’s important to be clear about which emotional reaction you want to focus on
changing. To do this it can be helpful to think about how these easily might be changed and the
reason for changing an emotional reaction. Remember to focus only bone reaction at a time.
Once clear there are few stages to think about that can help us to change emotional reaction
Stage one: Increase awareness of emotional reaction being in the zone
Stage two: using different resources to help to change reaction
Stage three: strengthening your healthy reaction and expanding your zone of tolerance
14. What is Stress?
According to Lazarus and Folkman (1984) stress is a feeling that is caused by the perception of a
threat. Stress is a very common condition. You feel your heart racing, palms sweating, and
stomach growling when you are under stress, perhaps due to an upcoming job interview or a
huge occasion such as a wedding. You also feel it when you are overburdened with work; when
you go through a crisis, or when you face your sources of fear like an angry dog or a plane flight
Some stress is necessary for all living systems as it is the means by which you encounter and
respond to the challenges and uncertainties of existence. However, prolonged or repeated
arousal of the stress response, a characteristic of modern life, can have harmful physical and
psychological consequences, including heart disease, diabetes, anxiety, and depression.
15. How does stress come from?
Stress can be caused by a variety of factors, including work-related pressures, financial
difficulties, relationship problems, and major life changes. It can also be caused by internal
factors, such as negative self-talk, unrealistic expectations, and perfectionism.
Mainly stress comes from three categories of stressors: catastrophes, significant life changes,
and daily hassles.
Catastrophes-Catastrophes are unpredictable, scale events, such as war and natural disasters,
that nearly everyone appraises as threatening.
Significant Life Changes-the death of a loved one, loss of a job, leaving home, marriage, divorce,
etc. Life transitions and insecurities are often keenly felt during young adulthood.
Daily life events-our happiness stems less from enduring good fortune than from our responses
to daily events such as awaiting to hear medical results, perfect exam scores, gratifying phone
call, your team ‘s winning the big game and the like. This principle works for negative events,
too. Everyday annoyances like rush hour traffic, aggravating housemates, long lines at the store,
too many things to do, cell phone talkers may be the most significant sources of stress. Although
some people can simply shrug off such hassles, others are easily affected by them. People ‘s
difficulties in letting go of unattainable goals is another everyday stressor with health
consequences.
16. Coping with stress?
Stress is an inevitable part of life, and everyone experiences it at some point. There are two ways
of dealing with stress: problem focused and emotion-focused.
Problem focused - when we feel a sense of control over a situation and think we can change the
circumstances or change ourselves, we may address stressors directly, with problem - focused
coping. For example, if our impatience leads to fight our friend, we may go directly to that friend
to work things out.
Emotion-focused - When we cannot handle the problem or believe that we cannot change a
situation, we may turn to emotion-focused coping. If, despite our best efforts, we cannot get
along with that friend, we may reach out to other friends to help address our own emotional
needs
Emotion-focused strategies can be non-adaptive, as when students worried about not keeping
up with the reading in class go out and party to clear their mind. A problem-focused strategy
(catching up with the reading) would be more effectively reduce stress and promote long - term
health and satisfaction. When challenged, some people tend to respond more with cool
problem-focused coping, others with emotion-focused coping. Several factors affect the ability
to cope successfully, including feelings of personal control, outlook, and supportive connections.
17. Adaptive or maladaptive coping
Adaptive coping refers to healthy and effective strategies individuals use to manage and reduce
stress, while maladaptive coping refers to unhealthy or ineffective strategies that may provide
temporary relief but have negative long-term consequences. Here are some examples of
adaptive and maladaptive coping strategies:
Adaptive coping strategies:
1. Problem-solving: Identifying the source of stress and taking active steps to address and
resolve the issue.
2. Seeking social support: Reaching out to friends, family, or support networks to share
concerns and receive emotional support.
3. Relaxation techniques: Engaging in activities such as deep breathing, meditation, or
mindfulness to promote relaxation and reduce stress.
4. Physical exercise: Engaging in regular physical activity to release tension and boost mood
through the release of endorphins.
5. Time management: Prioritizing tasks, setting realistic goals, and managing time
effectively to reduce feelings of being overwhelmed.
6. Cognitive reframing: Identifying and challenging negative or distorted thoughts and
replacing them with more positive and realistic perspectives.
Maladaptive coping strategies:
1. Avoidance or withdrawal: Ignoring or avoiding stressors rather than facing them directly,
which can lead to increased anxiety and unresolved issues.
2. Substance abuse: Turning to drugs, alcohol, or other substances as a way to escape or
numb stress, which can lead to dependency and further problems.
3. Suppression of emotions: Denying or suppressing emotions without addressing them,
which can lead to emotional build-up and potential outbursts.
4. Emotional eating: Using food as a way to cope with stress and emotions, which can lead
to unhealthy eating habits and weight gain.
5. Aggression or lashing out: Expressing stress through aggressive behavior, which can harm
relationships and escalate conflicts.
6. Overworking or overcommitting: Filling up schedules with excessive work or activities to
avoid dealing with underlying stress, which can lead to burnout and neglecting self-care.
It is important to note that individuals may employ a combination of adaptive and maladaptive
coping strategies depending on the situation and their level of awareness. Developing awareness
of coping mechanisms and consciously working towards adopting adaptive strategies can lead to
healthier stress management and overall well-being
Table 2: Examples of Coping with stress

Problem focused Emotion focused

• Create a plan of action • Use humour or comedy

 • Use negotiation skills
• Make constructive changes to a situation
• Concentrate on the next step
• Be assertive
• Develop different solutions to the same
• problem
• Apply time-management skills
• Engage in physical exercise
• Practice forgiveness
• Confide in someone else
• Seek emotional support
• Accept the situation
• Divert your attention by working on
another task

Resilience
Resilience is the ability to adapt and bounce back from adversity, challenges, and stressors.
It is a crucial characteristic for success and happiness in life, as it helps individuals cope with
setbacks and overcome obstacles. Resilience is not an innate trait, but rather a skill that can
be developed and strengthened through practice, support, and positive coping mechanisms.
(Rutter, M. 2012)

Unlike recovery or resistance, reconfiguration is an essential part of the process of transform-

ation the individual experiences when a return to their original path is difficult or unthink-
able. There is no single skill that supports resilience in individuals. Instead, it is the develop-
ment of a resilient mindset, a set of tools and skills to manage challenging times, and the cre-
ation of a supportive and growth-minded environment.(Ungar, M. 2012)

A positive attitude, optimism, the ability to regulate emotions, and the ability to see failure as
a form of helpful feedback are resilience strategies. Research shows that optimism helps to
blunt the impact of stress on the mind and body in the wake of disturbing experiences. It
gives people access to their cognitive resources, enabling cool-headed analysis of what might
have gone wrong and consideration of behavioural paths that might be more productive.

How to become more resilient?

The following 10 resilience skills can be shared and developed with clients to help them be-
come more resilient.
1.Problem-solving
2.Goal setting
3.Effective communication
4.Emotional regulation and stress management
5.Building a social support network
6.Practicing self-care
7.Developing meaning and purpose in life
8.Adopting a positive outlook
9.Improving self-awareness
10.Adopting effective coping strategies

Resilient individuals are typically more adaptable, open to new changes and experiences,
and adopt a healthy perspective when they see setbacks as opportunities for learning.

Critical Thinking
Critical thinking is the mode of thinking in which the thinker improves the quality of his or
her thinking by skilfully taking charge of the structures inherent in thinking and imposing in-
tellectual standards upon them. It is also defined as a process of actively analysing, or com-
munication to make informed judgments and/or decisions. Critical thinking requires the use
of self-correction and monitoring to judge the rationality of thinking as well as reflexivity
(Richard Paul & Linda Elder, 2006).
Critical thinking is "Purposeful, self-regulatory judgment which results in interpretation,
analysis, evaluation, and inference, as well as explanation of the evidential, conceptual,
methodological, contextual considerations upon which judgment is based (ADEA).

Critical thinking skills includes decision-making/problem solving skills and information gath-
ering skills. The individual must also be skilled at evaluating the future consequences of their
present actions and the actions of others. They need to be able to determine alternative solu-
tions and to analyse the influence of their own values and the values of those around them.

Qualities Of Critical thinker

Critical thinkers possess a set of qualities and skills that enable them to analyse information,
evaluate arguments, and make reasoned decisions. Here are some qualities commonly associ-
ated with critical thinkers:
1. Open-mindedness: Critical thinkers approach ideas and information with an open and
unbiased mindset. They are willing to consider different perspectives and are recept-
ive to new information and evidence.
2. Curiosity: Critical thinkers have a strong desire to seek knowledge, ask questions, and
explore various viewpoints. They actively seek out information and are motivated to
understand complex issues.
3. Analytical skills: Critical thinkers have the ability to break down complex problems
or situations into smaller components, analyse the relationships between these com-
ponents, and identify patterns or connections.
4. Sound reasoning: Critical thinkers are skilled in logical reasoning and can evaluate ar-
guments or claims for validity and coherence. They can identify logical fallacies and
inconsistencies in reasoning.
5. Effective communication: Critical thinkers can express their thoughts and ideas
clearly and effectively. They can articulate their reasoning, present evidence to sup-
port their views, and engage in respectful and constructive discussions.
6. Problem-solving: Critical thinkers excel at identifying and solving problems. They
can approach challenges in a systematic and methodical manner, considering multiple
solutions and potential outcomes.
7. Objectivity: Critical thinkers strive to make decisions and judgments based on evid-
ence and rationality rather than personal biases or emotions. They are aware of their
own cognitive biases and work to mitigate their impact on their thinking.
8. Reflective thinking: Critical thinkers engage in self-reflection and self-assessment of
their own thinking processes. They are willing to reconsider their beliefs and adjust
their thinking based on new information or evidence.
9. Intellectual humility: Critical thinkers acknowledge that they don't have all the an-
swers and are open to learning from others. They recognize their own limitations and
are willing to admit when they are wrong or unsure.
10. Confidence: Critical thinkers have confidence in their ability to analyse and evaluate
information. They trust their own reasoning skills but remain open to feedback and
continuous improvement.
Developing and honing these qualities can enhance one's ability to think critically and make
informed decisions in various aspects of life, including academic, professional, and personal
contexts.
Creative Thinking
Creative thinking is the ability to come up with unique and original ideas, make connections
between seemingly unrelated concepts, and generate innovative solutions to problems. Creat-
ive thinking involves a divergent thought process that allows individuals to generate multiple
ideas and possibilities. It involves breaking down mental barriers and allowing oneself to
think outside the box. Creativity is not limited to artistic pursuits but can be applied in vari-
ous domains such as science, business, education, and healthcare.
According to Kaufman and Baer (2012), creative thinking is an essential cognitive skill that
plays a crucial role in problem-solving, innovation, and adaptation to change. They suggest
that creative thinking involves a combination of cognitive abilities such as divergent thinking,
associative thinking, and intuition.
What is Problem?
A problem refers to a situation or issue that requires a solution or resolution. It is a gap
between a desired state or outcome and the current state or reality. Problems can arise in vari-
ous aspects of life, including personal, professional, academic, or social contexts.
Problems can be specific or general, simple or complex, and can have varying degrees of im-
pact. They can be tangible, such as a technical malfunction, or intangible, such as a conflict in
a relationship. Problems can also be seen as opportunities for growth and development, as
they challenge individuals to think critically and find innovative solutions.
Classes of problem?
Problems can be classified into different categories based on their nature, characteristics, or
domains. But mainly there are two classes of problems: those that are considered well defined
and others that are considered ill defined. Well-defined problems are those problems whose
goals, path to solution, and obstacles to solution are clear based on the information given. For
example, the problem of how to calculate simple simultaneous equation. In contrast, ill-
defined problems are characterized by their lack of a clear path to solution. Such problems of-
ten lack a clear problem statement as well, making the task of problem definition and prob-
lem representation quite challenging. For example, the problem of how to find a life partner
is an ill-defined problem.
What is problem solving?
Problem solving is a process in which we perceive and resolve a gap between a present situ-
ation and a desired goal, with the path to the goal blocked by known or unknown obstacles.
In general, the problem situation is one not previously encountered, or where at least a spe-
cific solution from past experiences is not known.
Effective problem-solving involves identifying the problem, gathering relevant information,
analysing the situation, generating potential solutions, evaluating alternatives, and imple-
menting the best course of action. Problem-solving skills are valuable in many areas of life,
as they enable individuals to overcome obstacles, make decisions, and achieve desired goals.
It's important to approach problems with a positive mindset, viewing them as solvable chal-
lenges rather than insurmountable barriers. Developing problem-solving skills and adopting a
proactive attitude can empower individuals to tackle problems effectively and navigate
through life's complexities.

Steps in problem solving

Even though the type, degree and context of the problem vary from individual to individual,
there are activities that should be accomplished one after the other. The steps are:
1. Recognize or identify the problem.
2. Define and represent the problem mentally.
3. Develop a solution strategy alternative and select the best one.
4. Organize knowledge about the problem and avail the necessary resources.
5. Allocate mental and physical resources for solving the problem.
6. Monitor his or her progress toward the goal.
7. Evaluate the solution for accuracy

Decision-making
it means the process of choosing among two or more alternative courses of action, based on
the evaluation of available information, and guided by cognitive, emotional, and situational
factors, with the aim of achieving a particular goal or outcome.
Decision-making is a selection process where one of two or more possible solutions is
chosen to reach a desired goal. The steps in both problem solving and decision-making
are quite similar. In fact, the terms are sometimes used interchangeably (Huitt, 1992).
Steps Of Decision-making
Effective decision-making involves several steps:
1. Identifying the problem or the need for a decision: Recognizing that a decision needs
to be made and clarifying the specific issue or goal at hand.
2. Gathering information: Collecting relevant information and data that are necessary to
understand the problem, explore alternatives, and evaluate potential outcomes.
3. Analysing and evaluating alternatives: Assessing the available options or courses of
action and considering their advantages, disadvantages, risks, and potential con-
sequences.
4. Weighing pros and cons: Comparing the potential benefits and drawbacks of each al-
ternative, considering short-term and long-term implications, and prioritizing factors
based on their importance.
5. Making a decision: Selecting the option that aligns best with one's goals, values, and
the available information. This may involve making a rational, logical choice or rely-
ing on intuition or gut feelings, depending on the situation.
6. Implementing the decision: Taking the necessary steps to put the chosen option into
action, which may involve planning, organizing, and allocating resources.
7. Evaluating the decision: Assessing the outcomes and consequences of the decision,
reflecting on its effectiveness, and learning from the experience to improve future de-
cision-making.
Effective decision-making is influenced by various factors, such as personal values, emo-
tions, cognitive biases, time constraints, and available resources. Developing decision-mak-
ing skills involves critical thinking, gathering and analysing information, considering mul-
tiple perspectives, and being open to feedback and continuous improvement.
Different decision-making models and frameworks exist, including rational decision-making,
intuitive decision-making, and collaborative decision-making, each with its own approach
and emphasis. The choice of approach may depend on the complexity of the decision, the
time available, and the context in which the decision is being made.