English Language Transactional Writing

Article Writing
Which would achieve the highest mark and why?

Answer 1 Answer 2

Some people say that these are the best days of your life.
But if you think of exams, spots and the problems of boy/girl
relationships, it’s obvious that it isn’t easy to live through. Just
because you’re sixteen and no longer a child, it doesn’t mean
you’ve sorted out your life. Yet you are expected to.
Which did it best?
Most suitable for audience
Uses a range of connectives to help it flow
A range of sentences
Accurate punctuation
The best days of your life indeed. What a load of nonsense!
This myth, put around by people too old to remember
what it really was like to be sixteen, needs exploding …
now! Stress, angst and terror might be more appropriate
descriptions. From the yuckiness of exploding blackheads,
to the pressure of oncoming GCSE exams; from the black
hole of an unknown future to the known-by-everybody
humiliation of being ignored by the boy or girl of your
dreams. This is what it is like.
Add additional features to the answer that you think is
lowest to improve it.

Word Bank

Vocabulary Sentence Openers Techniques You Could Use

impolite forward-looking Unsurprisingly, statistics

anxiety weary
Undeniably, alliteration
fearful stress
reduce peaceful Considering the ways that… personal pronouns

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