HURDLES FACED BY DAUGHTER IN LAW IN JOINT HOUSEHOLD

Submitted to:

DR. Faiza Tayyab

Submitted by:

Zunairah Javaid (7R)

Shereen Mustafa (49M)

Department of Gender Studies

University of the Punjab
ABSTRACT:
This research report analyze the problems faced by daughter in law in extended families. The
main purpose of our research is to find the causes of hurdles for a women in joint household.
Family is a basic unit of society. Extended family can be of different types. Members of a joint
family share all the tasks of food gathering, trade, food preparation, and child rearing; and at
times the social organization is so cohesive that the discrete nuclear families are barely visible in
the daily chores. We analyzed the position of daughter in law in our research. The way they are
treated and hurdles such as privacy issues, social issues economic issues and several
psychological disorder in women. We conduct a qualitative type research to understand the
participants more precisely by in depth interviews. Data is collected by thematic process. The
data has been analyzed by themes. We conduct interview of four women. There are many
research but not a specific one research on women facing problems in marital life after marriage
in extended families. Through this research we can find out the basic problems faced by daughter
in laws in joint household, in addition to, the reason of women to opt for a nuclear family rather
than joint household.

Keywords

Women, hurdles, joint family

Table of contents

Abstract_______________________________________________ 01

Chapter 1

Introduction

1.1 introduction _______________________________________ 02

1.2 statement of the problem _____________________________ 03

1.3 objectives of the study________________________________ 0

1.4 research question ___________________________________ 07

1.5 significance of the study______________________________ 09

Chapter 2

Methodology___________________________________________06

2.1 Introduction_______________________________________09

2.2 type of resrch______________________________________10

2.3 method of data collection____________________________11

2.4 construction of interview guide _______________________12

2.5 data collection _____________________________________ 13

2.6 data analysis ______________________________________ 14

2.7 conclusion________________________________________ 1

Chapter 3

Data analysis
3.1 Terms of privacy in joint houshold_______________________16

3.2 expenses in joint household______________________________

3.3 Psychological health_____________________________________

3.4 conclusion______________________________________________
 Chapter no 1
Introduction

Overall family is one of the essential units of social orders and deals with the different
necessities of individuals. All it is additionally one of the fundamental wellsprings of giving
consideration to its individuals (Yanagisako, 1979). Culture has been displayed to control the
family network by building family type, family size and structure and the family working by
characterizing hindrances, participation rules, association designs, sufficient practices, guideline
and positioning in the family. (baig et al., 2014). Generally Pakistan had joint family framework
and holding inside a family. Like other Asian nations, throughout the time, balance is moving
towards family unit framework in Pakistan. Numerous elements are answerable for this moving
pattern from joint to nuclear framework. These incorporate; monetary tensions, diminishing
living space, development for work and fast urbanization (Lodhi et al., 2021).

Family has a major impact on who we are as people, both positively and negatively ( Rittenour,

2012). Today, there are many different forms of family structure including traditional families,

children living with both biological parents, and non-traditional families such as single-parent

families, blended families, and cohabitating families. (Lansford et al., 2001) .Family is a social

group of one or more parents and their children. (Rittenour & Soliz, 2009) Family systems refer to

members and their interrelationship (structure) with each other (Demir & Drentea, 2016).  There are

different classifications of family systems. Most commonly used classification has two types i.e.

joint and nuclear family systems.  joint or extending family is defined as ‘three or more

generations lived together with both vertical and lateral extension having a single line of

authority, either patrilineal or matrilineal joint family, family in which members of a

unilineal descent group (a group in which descent through either the female or the male line is

emphasized) live together with their spouses and offspring in one homestead and under the

authority of one of the members. (Bansal., et al. 2014).

Back in the ‘70s and ‘80s the joint family system was considered better than an independent or a
nuclear family system by the majority (Sooryamoorthy, 2012) But as the time changed, the new
generation turned smart and grew up having the confidence that they are supposed to be
independent and would not entertain anyone’s interference in their personal lives.( Bjarnason et
al., 2012) Both the system either joint family or nuclear family have their benefits and flaws, but
we are going to discuss what are the disadvantages in a joint family system when you are living
in Pakistan. (Marks et al., 2009) A number of advantages and disadvantages associated with each
type of family has been reported such as social support, protection during crises, physical space,
autonomy a freedom of decision making (Brown, 1996) The joint family is distinguished from
the extended family only in that members of the latter live in separate compounds. (Moos, R. H., &
Moos, B. S. 1976) Members of a joint family share all the tasks of food gathering, trade, food
preparation, and child rearing; and at times the social organization is so cohesive that the discrete
nuclear families are barely visible in the daily chores, with children addressing all the adult
women as “mother” (Hanul Park & Kang-Sook Lee 2020). There are lots of restriction, privacy
problem responsibilities in joint family system. (Marks, 2006).

Statement of problem

In Pakistan, when talking about joint family system it means a life full of compromises where the
women have to compromise in a daily routine in order to maintain peace. The parents or the head
follow the old norms and customs while the younger members of the family want to live their
lives according to the new century so here starts the so-called war between the women and her in
laws. As mentioned today’s generation always prefers being independent and they do not want to
consider anyone when it comes to their personal lives. The girl or the daughter-in-law deems to
be under estimated while the parents who always have been considered the “monarch” of the
family feels offended by the behavior of the new entry in the house.

Unfortunately, the most common lacking element in the joint family system is the privacy of the
couple which irritates more than anything. The every single bit of your relationship is out in the
open before your family.

Another factor is the comparison game between the sister in laws or brothers. Every single thing
is compared to sister in laws which creates an inferiority complex in the parents and even in
children. Joint family can be run successfully if the members remain committed to each other.
The feeling of togetherness and selflessness is the essence of joint family. The differences can be
solved and sorted peacefully with smart thinking and wisdom

Objective:
  The main objective of the study is to study the factors affecting the life of daughter in law
living in extended family.
 Another aim of the research is to study the challenges faced by people living in joint
family
 To study how their psychological or mental health is affected by the environment.
 To figure out the different preferences of members in joint house hold.
 In addition to address the reason why they want to live separately (nuclear family).
. 

Research Questions:

 How privacy system of married women is being disturbed in joint family system?
 What kind of financial issue faced by daughter in law in joint family system?
 What are the restrictions faced by women in joint family system?
 How the joint household system effects the psychological and mental health of a women?

Significance of the study

Data collected from this study highlights the hurdles faced by daughter in law in joint household.
This study elaborates the hurdles and gaps daughter in law facing, regarding decision making,
personal space, restrictions, privacy, financial circle and psychological stress. This study helps to
embrace the issues that how to overcome them. Moreover, this research used to analyze which
family system is better for daughter in law.

Methodology

Introduction

The main purpose of this chapter is to set forth the methodologic process. This chapter discusses
the research type we used, sample size selected. It further explains the data collection method, in
addition to the data analysis process. This chapter furthermore describes the method we used for
data analysis.
The sampling techniques we uses is snowball sampling, it is an easy way to approach
participants. we collected data from 4 daughter in laws regarding the hurdles and difficulties the
face in joint house hold. We conducted interviews of 4 women who faced hurdles and difficulties
in joint household.

Type of research

We conducted a qualitative type of research in Ares of Lahore. This research helps to conduct in
depth interview. Which further helps us to understand the hurdles of women in joint household
more precisely. It is the best type of research for focus groups and in depth interviews.

Method of data collection

We collected data from four women living in joint household through in depth interviews in
order to get more precise information about the problems faced by them in joint house hold. The
purpose of in depth interviews is to know what daughter in laws face and want to change in joint
house hold.

Construction of interview guide

Before going in field work it is important to make the interview guide. In interview guide. We
mention some demographic information of participants such as; age, name, marital status. We
make interview guide in such a manner that helps us to start the conversation with the
participants, without making them uncomfortable, by creating a friendly environment We mostly
stats with basics question about life or work and then continue our interview related to problems
faced by women in joint household.

Data collection

For data collection, snowball sampling technique has been used for this research. Snowball
sampling make it easier for data collection due to various reference from friends and family.
Almost 5-6 participants willing give their interviews regarding the hurdles faced by daughter in
law in joint house hold. The interview duration was of almost 30-35 minutes. The interviews are
recorded, on the spot of interview, with permission of the participant. Most precise data was
collected for this research.

Data analysis

After data being collected, the next step is to analyze the data. Firstly the recorded data from
participants was translated and transcribed. We listened the recorded data repeatedly and
transcribed the data. Then we analyze the data by coding the participant’s interviews. After
coding, we analyze data through thematic process by making themes and sub-themes in
relevance to the research questions and collected data.

Conclusion:

This chapter discusses the methodological process for the conducted research. This highlights the
research questions, type of research, sample size, sampling method for data collection and how
the data being analyzed.

Chapter:3

Data analysis

This chapter explains how the data has been analyzed, data has been collected by in depth
interviews, conducted through qualitative research, to figure out the hurdles faced by daughter in
law in joint house hold. We use thematic process to analyze data. Data has been analyzed by
different themes and sub themes.
3.1: Terms of privacy

Privacy is one the most important thing in any relationship but unfortunately most of the
respondents have privacy issues

One of the participants names Maham of age 23 said:

I don’t even have time to relax for a second. I have no separate portion for my-self that
makes my day night more stressing and tiring. When we are living in joint family privacy
is not provided. My husband allowed me to study but other members are not in favor that
I should study further, but my husband supported me. In joint family system there is a
specific time to do everything. Everything is in our mother in laws hand. Other
restrictions are the involvement of in-laws in decisions regarding to our personal lives

The other participant named Habiba age 22 said:

I didn’t get enough time for anything due to the busy routines. In morning first thing I
have to make breakfast for children and husband. In after noon, I prepared lunch, right
after that it’s time for Quran class of children. In evening I give tuition to my children
homework projects. Due to third tiring job, after putting my children to bed, it is too late
that I also went to sleep. My husband come home late so he cannot manage to help me in
children studies. Hence, I have no personal time to spend with my husband. Right now I
am studying but still I will apply for job if the in laws allow me to do.

Another participant Aneeza said:

I am is a happily married women with single child. She married out of the family. She is not
satisfied with her in laws. She has no personal space, she has very busy in her routine work and
has no personal space. As a duty of housewife she cooks, clean and take care of children.

Aneeza said

I have no restriction of anything like shopping, to go out for grocery, to go and meet their
family (Amma, abba). Her husband supports her financial and fulfill her requirements in
a good manner. She pursues her studies as her husband supports her. I also faced typical
privacy issue in my household system.
Another participant Fizza said:

I am 23 years old happily married women. I am is mother of a single child. I married two years
later and married, out of the family, in joint family system. I am going through very busy routine
and performs dual functions also went to university and manages family chores.

I have not much personal space as I am living in joint family household, I faced different
kind of privacy issues in here family but my husband is co-operative and he try to
overcome those restrictions. I cook by herself and have to do other household activities. I
had no much time to give herself she try to take care of her family and son. my Father in
law take all decision in the house, he holds the power of decision making. Unlike this my
husband make decision of his wife and child. I have freely right to take decision
regarding to his child.

3.2: Expenses in joint household

One participant said:

All the financial matters are in my mother in law’s control. When to spent and how to spend all
expenses. My husband is very much supportive he gives me personal expenses for my shopping
if need for myself. I have just the overall expense including groceries and bills etc. I am not
provided with any extra or personal expense for myself.

Another participant said:

My husband said to do some savings due to some financial issues or spend according to the
budget of the house but it is impossible with children, their school tuition fee and other daily life
needs. I usually never compromise on my children studies. I somehow managed to fulfill all
expenses as my own.

Another participant Aneeza said: “My husband supports me in every manner financial and
emotionally. My husband fulfill every need.There is a little bit involvement by her in laws but
my husband is supportive.”

3.3: Psychological health

One of the participants maham said:

 This is in every culture. This is a major issue in joint house hold. We need to sacrifice our
happiness. There is a lot of fights in laws in regard of children cooking food I am in
constant depression in regard of my children up bringing.

Another participant said: “Everything is disturbing in joint family which results in depression
related to children and future plans”.

One participant Aneeza said.

I am not enough satisfied with her in Laws. they are not directly involve in my matter but
apparently plays a negative role in my marital life. She faced worst kind of domestic politics by
her in laws due to which she faced mental stress and depression. I couldn’t able to give better
time to my son and husband due to mental stress. I have a typical relation with in laws but my
husband is supporting that’s why sometimes it doesn’t bother me at all.

CONCLUSION:

This chapter concludes that daughter in-law facing different kind of difficulties related to
controlling, rudely and unfriendly behavior of in-laws. The judgment and involvement in married
life disturbs the marital relationship and cause of various psychological issues. Unlike this their
husbands are very supportive and friendly that why they compromise with them and try to make
thing better. The analysis elaborates the issue of joint household and preference of daughter in-
law. All the respondent’s preference are nuclear family system to have a happy life with their
spouse without any lack of privacy, restrictions, and involvement of any other person.

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