Counsellor’s Skills

In a therapeutic context, there is a contrasting situation when it comes to body language

proficiency: whilst clients are not responsible for effectively aligning their body and verbal
languages, counsellors have the obligation to do so. Up to this point, the focus of this article
was body language from the “reader’s” point of view. But when it comes to counselling
skills, there is also the need to observe the efficient delivery of non-verbal messages.
Why is that so? People notice behavioural discrepancies. In most scenarios, people perceive
contrast between non-verbal and verbal language as a message that clearly says: “warning –
person not to be trusted”. After all, everyone has heard a variety of stories of trickery and
unethical behaviour that are based on lies and suspicious behaviour. In a therapeutic
environment, behavioural discrepancies create doubt where there may already be fear, lack
of confidence and insecurity. This combination can be counter to the counsellor’s intentions
of establishing rapport and building a trusting relationship with any client. Counsellors
should be aware of certain needs when communication with clients, thus avoiding the
previous scenario. Following are some points:
Professional vs Friendly: the body language of a counsellor, particularly eye contact,
movements and distance from the client, should be aligned to the level of rapport which has
been established in each case. Touching, staring and close proximity can create discomfort
and be interpreted as intimidating. Conversely, each of these actions can be appropriate in
instances when a counsellor has established good rapport with the client.
Feedback vs Distance: it is important that a counsellor’s posture and eye contact are
illustrative of his or her interest in the client’s situation. Providing direct eye contact, being
open-bodied and facing the client, and nodding or making the client aware of the message
will make the client feel appreciated and willing to establish further rapport. If the client
feels the counsellor is not interested in his or her story, trust and rapport are likely to fall
apart.
Mirroring vs Automation: mirroring is a technique common to preliminary sessions in
counselling. Mirroring a client’s body language can help to create a certain bond or
connection with the client, assisting in the process of establishing rapport. Basically, the
client both consciously and subconsciously notices the familiar behaviour of the counsellor.
This ‘familiarity’ helps the client to relax and trust the counsellor. However, mirroring needs
to be done mindfully; otherwise, the client may think he or she is being mocked or not taken
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