City Division of San Jose del Monte

LA CONCEPCION COLLEGE INC, CITY

OF SAN JOSE DEL MONTE, BULACAN
Kaypian Road, corner Quirino St, San Jose del Monte
City, 3023
https://laconcepcioncollege.com/ email: registrar@laconcepcioncollege.com

THE FILIPINO IDENTITY: THE

FILIPINO’S SENSE OF THE SELF
IDENTITY

Submitted by:

Academia, Mark Ivan B.

Estinor, Mandie M.
Juan, Rheyven B.
Maxilom, Michelle Q.
Salva, Jeanea Lailanie A.

Section 1A, Bachelor of Science

in Civil Engineering

Christopher C. Collado
Professor/Instructor

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 TABLE OF CONTENTS

THE VALUE OF “HIYA” TO FILIPINO………………………………………………….…..…...3

FILIPINO ROOTS…………..……………………………………………..………………...….5

WRITING SYSTEM…………………………………………..………………………....……..5

THE ROLE OF THE SPANIARDS………………………...………………………………..….6

HEART OF THE FILIPINO………….…………………………………………………..….….6

THE MIND OF THE FILIPINO……………….…..……………………………….….……......8

FILIPINO THINKING: FROM LOCAL TO GLOBAL……………………...……………….10

THREE DIMENSIONS OF FILIPINO THOUGHT…………….………………….……..…..10

THE FILIPINO PSYCHIC

STRUCTURE………..………………………………………….....13

THE FILIPINO FAMILY………..…………………...……………...……………...…….....13

THE FILIPINO AS PARENTS………..…………………...………………………...……..14

THE FILIPINO FATHER………..…………………...………………………………….…..15

THE FILIPINO MOTHER………..…………………...………………………………...…..16

THE FILIPINO AS HUSBAND/WIFE………..…………………...……………….……...18

THE FILIPINO CHILDREN………..…………………...…………………………...……..20

RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHER FILIPINO MEMBER…………...……....…………20

SOURCE AND REFERENCES…………………………………………………………...…..21

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 THE VALUE OF “HIYA” TO FILIPINOS

“Hiya” (pronounced hee-ya) is an important idea in the Philippines. It literally translates to ‘a

sense of shame. Sometimes hiya is interpreted as ‘face’, as in ‘losing face’, but that is not the
whole story. Filipinos are very sensitive to personal affront. They try, as much as possible, to
avoid feeling “hiya”, a painful emotion or deep shame arising from a realization of having
failed to live up to the standards of Filipino society. It is a kind of anxiety, a fear of being left
exposed, unprotected and unaccepted. It is a fear of being shunned by their society, which
would mean personal humiliation.

“Hiya” is one value that regulates the Filipinos' social behavior. Just as one is very careful not
to be subjected to embarrassment or “mapahiya” one must also make it a point NOT to cause
another person’s embarrassment. For example, in asking favor, both parties are careful not to
offend the other. So if a favor cannot be granted, the person who cannot oblige apologizes for
his failure to do so with an explanation that it is not his intention to refuse but that other factors
beyond his control keep him from doing so.

“Hiya is the currency applied within the society, controlling and motivating a person’s social
behavior. This is the reason why a vast majority of Filipinos still remain conservative in their
actions in the modern age. Everyone is expected to have hiya in the way they behave in order
to win respect from the community. Dressing cleanly, being friendly and living up to your word
are good ways to avoid “hiya”.

“Public ridicule, or to be censured openly, or to fail to do what is expected of one, is to suffer

hiya, a loss of esteem. Inversely, if one has not acted improperly, or continued to behave in a
manner disapproved of by the community, it's to be without hiya. This label automatically
results in the withdrawal of acceptance within one’s group, if not the entire community. To be
charged with not having this sense of hiya is regarded as a grave social sin, for one to be called
“walang hiya” is an ultimate insult.

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“Hiya is a controlling element in Filipino society. A person’s behavior is socially restricted by
his sense of “hiya” while public behavior is censured, or approved of, by hiya. For example, an
employee dismissed from his job may react with violence because of “hiya,” or a workmate
may not openly disagree with you even if he feels strongly against your opinion out of “hiya”.
For other examples, an employee could refrain from asking questions from his supervisor even
if he is not quite sure what to do, because of hiya, or a party host may end up spending more
than she can afford for a party, driven by hiya, or the fear of being perceived of in any negative
way.

According to the Philippines Australia Business Council: “Hiya is shame, shyness, losing face,
and embarrassment, or a combination of these. It is the Filipino reaction to anything which is
an affront to his honor, dignity, or pride. It reflects in all his personal relations, as well as how
he looks at himself relative to another individual. A Tagalog would say ‘Di baling saktan mo
ako, huwag mo lang akong hiyain: (I would not mind if you hurt me physically, just do not
shame me). A harsh speech or discourteous comment may trigger a violent reaction from a
Filipino. A Tagalog would say ‘Ang sugat ng itak ay mas mahanay kaysa sa sugat ng
masamang pangungusap’ (The wound from a knife is more bearable than an offensive word).
Another Filipino proverb which stresses the importance of hiya says ‘Kung gumagaling ang
isang sugat, di kumukupas ang masamang pangungusap’ (A wound may heal, but an offensive
word never fades away.

Filipino prefer to agree, especially with superiors, rather than take the risk of being offended by
rebuff; it drives him to do the ‘right’ thing in the eyes of others, even if this requires sacrifices
on his part. It also helps maintain order within his own group and serves as an unwritten code
of conduct for the community. Hiya has been described as ‘the uncomfortable feeling that
accompanies awareness of being in a socially unacceptable position, or performing a socially
unacceptable action.’ It is a very controlling element in Filipino society. To call a Filipino
walang-hiya (shameless) is to wound him seriously. Hiya may even operate when a person is
absolutely right, and the other person is wrong. This is to preserve the balance between hiya
and amor propio (self-esteem). For example, a Filipino may hesitate to collect a long overdue
debt, because to bring up the matter face-to-face may place a person’s amor propio at risk.

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Stephen wrote in livinginthephilippines.com: “The Filipino people are not known for being
confrontational , but if you get in their face, raise your voice and call them names, you are
likely to push them over the brink .. Our western culture is that of being 'rugged individuals'.
This means being a self-reliant and independent person. Surely we are all citizens, but
responsible for ourselves and our own futures. This 'rugged individualism' is especially true for
America, Canada, New Zealand and of course Australia. But because of the Philippine 'Hiya'
concept it means that the Pinoy outlook is completely different. The Philippine people need to
be close to, and accepted, by others. Most personal behavior is driven in seeking to be
well-accepted and respected group members.Thus, our individualism is not something that a
normal Pinoy would ever aim for.

This Philippine concept of hiya may seem somewhat meaningless or unknown to we

westerners who value individualism and non-conformism, because our behavior is controlled
more by an individual sense of right and wrong, and much less by outside group censure. In the
Philippines, to lose hiya and so the support of your kinsmen is to become a social outcast. This
strong social/cultural drive leads to the overriding importance of "Filipino Hiya'' at all times.
Hence, it's a really good idea not to shout-at or abuse any Filipino, especially in public. If one
causes a perceived loss of hiya, things could get ugly very quickly indeed and especially for
you. It's best to smile in a friendly way, so Pinoys can feel that doing what you want brings
respect to them for treating foreigners well. However, if one is shouting and displaying anger
in public, then a Filipino can gain respect from other Pinoys by treating you, a rude foreigner,
disrespectfully. They would gain in hiya by simply putting a rude person in their place.

THE FILIPINO ROOTS

Most Filipinos descend from the Malays, an Austronesian ethnic group and are native to the
Malay Peninsula. Many can also trace their roots back to Chinese, American, Spanish, or
Indonesian blood. Their appearance and country both reflect a blend of eastern and western
cultures. According to historians, some 5,000 to 6,000 years ago, groups of people from
Indonesia and Malaysia arrived in the islands of the Philippines to be its first settlers. Both of
these countries belong to the Austronesian region and they brought with them their own

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cultures, traditions as well as languages. This is how the story of the Filipino languages started.
Over the years, other influences made their own contributions to its evolution but the roots of
the Filipino language will always be traced back to its Austronesian heritage.

WRITING SYSTEM
Baybayin- is an old writing system that Filipinos started to use sometime in the 14th century.
This proves that Filipinos, before the Spanish occupation, were not illiterate. In fact, this
writing system is so rich and widely used that it evolved into forms of Tagbanwa script of
Palawan, Hanuno’o, and Buhid scripts of Mindoro. These made a big impact in creating
modern scripts that both the Kapampangan and Palaw’an people use.

The Role of the Spaniards

For more than three centuries, three hundred thirty-three years to be exact, Spain colonized the
Philippines. This is more than enough time to make a lasting impact on the culture of a people,
particularly on their language. During the Spanish occupation, the locals adapted hundreds of
Spanish words that later became a part of the Filipino language. Some everyday Filipino words
that were borrowed from Spanish are:

“Gusto” - like or want

“Kusina” - meaning kitchen
“Kotse” - car
“Trabaho” - job or work
“Oras” - hour or time

THE HEART OF THE FILIPINO

The heart of the Filipino is a concept that refers to the core values, beliefs, and traditions that
are deeply embedded in Filipino culture. It is a term coined by Filipino writer and journalist,
Carlos P. Romulo, who said that the heart of the Filipino is "like a great, sensitive nerve that
vibrates at the slightest touch of beauty or pathos."

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Some of the values that are said to make up the heart of the Filipino include:

Bayanihan - The spirit of communal unity, cooperation, and support, especially during times
of hardship. This is seen in the tradition of helping out neighbors during fiestas, or when
someone in the community is in need.

Hiya - Refers to one's sense of shame, or the fear of losing face in front of others. It is
connected to the idea of 'delicadeza', wherein one is expected to act with politeness,
graciousness, and sensitivity towards others.

Utang na loob - The sense of gratitude and indebtedness towards those who have helped us,
and the desire to repay that debt. This is seen in the tradition of repaying debts of kindness and
goodwill, such as hosting a meal for someone who has helped us in the past.

Pakikisama - The spirit of camaraderie, or the ability to get along with others. This involves
adapting to one's surroundings and being sensitive to the needs and feelings of others.

Respect for elders - Filipinos have a strong respect for those who are older and more
experienced. This is seen in the tradition of showing deference to elders through speech,
mannerisms, and actions.

Aside from these values, the heart of the Filipino is also said to be marked by a deep sense of
faith, family, and community. Overall, the concept of the heart of the Filipino captures the rich
cultural heritage and unique personality of the Filipino people.

Colonial mentality is a term used widely by ethnic studies scholars and by the Filipino
American community to refer to a form of internalized oppression among Filipinos and
Filipino Americans. The authors propose that colonial mentality is a construct that is central to
the understanding of the psychology of contemporary Filipino Americans. Drawing on larger
scholarship from postcolonial studies and psychological research on oppression, the authors
review the historical and sociological contexts in which to understand the significance of the

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colonial mentality concept for the Filipino American population. The authors also review the
existing literature on colonial mentality and provide specific recommendations for
incorporating this construct into research and practice with Filipino Americans. It is argued,
through this illustrative example of colonial mentality among Filipino Americans, that
examining the psychological impact of colonialism is a way to incorporate larger historical and
sociological contextual variables into ethnic minority research and practice.

THE MIND OF THE FILIPINO

The word mentality derives from the root word mental, from Latin ‘mens’ which means
‘mind’. The mind is a process in our brain such as thinking, remembering, reasoning,
reflecting, and all other cognitive activities.

Culturally and psychologically, certain groups of people or races have specific “collective
thinking” or “social consciousness”. Through this dynamic and complex social evolution – the
people have developed a mental habit in their subconsciousness. This subconsciousness is
manifested in their behaviors and habits.

Among the Filipinos – we exhibit certain qualities such as crab mentality (pulling someone
down), ‘ningas kugon’ (only good at the start), ‘manana’ habit (procrastination), Filipino time
(tardiness), ‘bahala na’ (come what may), emotional or too sensitive, ‘tsismosa’ (gossiping),
‘epal’ (attention grabbing), ‘mayabang’ (arrogant), ‘feeling magaling’ (pretentious), ‘pintasero’
(fault-finder), etc.

This Filipino habit is a result of our social and psychological upbringing that it becomes part of
who we are as individuals, and as a nation – and wherever we go, we carry this “genetic” trait.
As we reflect how we behave, we will find out that our habit is a result of how we think. We
need to change the way we think. Once we develop our thinking process, we will improve our
habits. We are what we think.

THE ENEMY OF OUR REASON

The most prominent characteristic of Filipinos is our EMOTIONALISM. We have this

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excessive tendency to be “seriously” emotional. The Filipino Mentality is based on Filipino
Emotion. This is the very reason why we create so many problems within our family, in our
group, community, and our country.

This means that we do not use our reason but instead resort to our emotions. It is a victory of
the heart over the brain. This cripples us as a nation.

We love to argue and debate solely on how we feel and not because of how we think. Thinking
involves serious analysis, reflection, logic, and research.

This doesn’t mean that we need to be highly “intelligent”. We just need to be reasonable and
act decently. But somehow, we have lost direction because we do not want to “see”. We
become blind as we continue to use our hearts over our minds.

If we will examine how Filipinos post or comment in social media: we can conclude that
majority of us lose our tempers, we do lots of ad hominem attacks, we do not really want to
listen but we just want to talk, talk, and talk, we are so reactive, and we easily believe what we
read.

This is dangerous. Very dangerous. And sometimes fatal. This could result in the extinction of
our Filipino sensibility. We need to closely look at how we behave and think. Our future
depends on it.

BLIND FOLLOWERS
Because we love to resort to how we feel – we become blind followers. We become fanatics.
We lose our sense of reality. Sadly. We only want to see what we want to see. We reject and
disregard everything that goes against our beliefs. We become so obsessed with what we want
to possess – and we become so self-centered that we lose our opportunity to learn and know the
truth.

We lose the proper lens because we fail to use our brain. Our mind is the window to truth,

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wisdom. If we believe everything that is told to us – and we fail to use our ability to think for
ourselves: we are no different from robots, machines, or lower animals. Thus, it is critical that
we exercise our reasoning. This is the only way for us to be free. Otherwise, we will forever
become slaves, followers, to our masters.

As Filipinos, we need to cultivate our own ability to think – so that no one, politicians or
celebrities, can influence the way we think. We are free yet many of us are bound by our
illusion to worship and die for our leaders and the people we admire. From here: we become
like children without power. We follow everything that is told to us. We obey everything. We
worship our master like a god.

WE NEED TO BE FREE
For our nation to grow, Filipinos need to mature intellectually and politically.
Our only hope as a nation is to truly change – a change that is pure and internal. A change
within. We cannot change everything outside of us such as the political system, education, and
economy if we cannot change what is inside us.
This is the truth. And this is the key. We need to find an honest interest in learning and reading.
Let us hope and strive that the majority of Filipinos will learn to love to read. Read, read, read.
Reading will help us to exercise our thinking process. This is a tool for us to become free. If we
see Filipinos, especially the youth, reading on the train and bus – we can see a glimpse of hope
for our nation. Let us start with the basics. If we fail as a nation of readers, we fail as a nation
that is truly free.Knowledge is power. Knowledge makes us free. This gives us the power to
reason and use our logic. This gives us the power to control our emotions. Being is the core of
Western philosophy. We see this centrality, for instance, in scholastic philosophy and in
existentialism.

FILIPINO THINKING: FROM LOCAL TO GLOBAL

Filipino must take consciousness of his own particular life and his world, his society and his
gods in the light and truth, and thereby realize his proper being (Reyes, 1990)

3 Dimensions of Filipino Thought

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1. Loob (Holistic and Interior Dimensions)
● Sharing oneself to others.
● Interiority manifests itself in freedom (Mercado, 1992)
● Puts one in touch with his fellow beings.
Values that relate to persons:
● Intermediaries or Go-betweens
● Values of loyalty
● Hospitality
● Pakikisama (camaraderie, conformism)
● Respect to authority

•Filipinos as individuals look from the interior dimension under the principle of harmony.
•The Filipino looks as himself as a self, as a total whole– as a “person”, conscious of his
freedom, proud of his human dignity, and sensitive to the violation of these two (Mercado,
2000)
2. Filipino Philosophy of Time
•Life may be sorrowful, but precisely because suffering is ultimately salutary, there is hope
beyond suffering (Timbreza, 1996)
•Living in harmony with nature (Chinese and Japanese Philosophy)
Filipino Time (mistakenly interpreted: committed time of arrival)
•A misleading notion (Fact: Filipino farmers are early risers; wasting no time for work).
•Power naps (a.k.a siesta) is not necessarily negative; important in Filipino culture.
3. Bahala Na (Come What May)
•Etymology: Bathala (an impersonal entity but rather a personal being that keeps the balance in
the universe (endowed with personality).
•The originality of Filipino thought will probably be precisely in his personalistic view of the
universe (Timbreza, 2002)
•The Filipino puts his entire trust in this Bathala who has evolved into the Christian God
(Mercado, 2000).
•Literally means to leave everything to God (Bathala in the vernacular).
•Puts trust in the divine providence; it contains the element of resignation.

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•Thus, the Filipino accepts beforehand whatever the outcome of his problem might be
(Mercado, 2000).
•One of the most outstanding Filipino virtues.
•Courage to take risks.
•Fatalistic; sort of leaving everything to God or to chance (e.g. uncertainty in life).
•Fatalism is universal (will of God; even applied in other religions)

Filipino Thought and Values: Positive and Negative Aspects

•Filipino philosophy- in need to be used as positive motivation.
•Filipino (beyond family groups) sees himself belonging to a small primary group in a dyadic,
pyramidal function (distinguished by wealth, power and age)
•He receives protection and other favors from above and should be ready to do the same
toward his ties below.
Utang Na Loob (Indebtedness to Patrons)
• The Filipino gives great value to endurance and hard work as means to economic
self-sufficiency– refers not to individual self but to the family to which one owes a
special debt of graditude for having brought him life and nurtured him.
• Deep down in the Filipino psyche, there exists the belief that whatever good one has
done will redound to one’s benefit because a SUPREME JUDGE will dispense just
compensation whether in this life or the next (Mercado, 2000) In the Philippine context,
it is always so difficult to determine the place of philosophy in the formal or
institutional educational structure of the country that a distinction is called for (evident
in everyday existence).

Elan (Indigenous Philosophy)

A spirit that permeates the Filipino as Filipino, and without which, he feels certain
dissatisfaction

Asia
● The seat of the world’s oldest civilization.
● Does have a philosophical character all on its own but that it will not surface unless

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 local philosophers dig to the roots to their own indigenous culture (Gripaldo, 2000)
NATIONAL CHALLENGES TO BE CONSIDERED ACCORDING TO GRIPALDO:
1.Replacing colonial consciousness with a nationalist consciousness thereby doing away with
colonial and crab mentality.
2.Super Industrial Society
3.Utilization of education as the means of realizing the image of the future as a super industria
society.
4.Choosing not just for one’s self but for all humanity, for the nation as a whole.

THE FILIPINO PSYCHIC STRUCTURE

THE FILIPINO FAMILY

The Filipino family is considered a highly valuable social institution in the Philippines.
In general, Filipino families are bilaterally extended and residentially nuclear. Although
Filipinos recognize husbands and fathers to be household heads, the family structure
continues to be egalitarian in giving importance to both male and female family
members. Like in other cultures in Asia, families in the Philippines uphold the principle
of seniority in assigning authority within kinship groups. The kinship system is
established through blood ties, marriage, and rituals. Kin groups are maintained
primarily for mutual assistance. Moreover, when Filipino families become transnational
due to migration and overseas work, they capitalize on computer-mediated
communication to maintain their familial connections across borders. A number of
changes are happening among Filipino families including the increased participation of
women in the labor force, a decline in family authority in terms of its influence over
individual members, and an increasing number of single-parent families.
Family ties are very strong in the Philippines and traditionally greater emphasis has
been put on the family than individuals. Families have traditionally been bound together
by loyalty, respect and affection. Family members are expected to follow rules set by
the head of the household rather than pursuing their own individual agenda. Extended
families often live together, and often one child is expected to live with the parents. All
children have traditionally inherited property equally with the house going to the child
who took care of the parents.

THE FILIPINO AS PARENTS

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Individual behaviors and achievements reflect on the family as a whole and bring about
familial pride or shame (Chao & Tseng, 2002; Ho, 1993). Thus, in the Filipino family it
is imperative that one behaves with respect to the self and the family’s sense of hiya,
which is a deeply held value that refers to honor, dignity, and propriety (Enriquez,
1994). Typical admonitions of the parent in response to a child’s undesirable behavior
remind the child to uphold his or her and the parent’s hiya.

From a systems perspective, mothers and fathers have individually unique and mutually
interactive contributions to children’s development, thereby warranting the study of
their concordances and dissimilarities in cognitions and behaviors. To date, however,
there have been few investigations involving Filipino fathers, much less of the
similarities and differences in Filipino mothers and fathers’ parenting cognitions.

To the extent that general Filipino sociocultural and family values pervasively shape
child rearing attitudes, it may be expected that mothers and fathers are similarly
traditional or authoritarian and similarly parent-centered in their attributions. However,
much of the literature has considered differences in the roles of mothers and fathers.
Invariably, Filipino fathers and mothers reported taking on traditional roles in the home,
with fathers being providers and “protectors'' but having limited purview in the daily
lives of their children and mothers taking on the tasks of child rearing, discipline, and
“managing the home” (De la Cruz et al., 2001; Licuanan, 1979; Liwag, De la Cruz, &
Macapagal, 1998). From the perspective of children, mothers are indeed more nurturant
and involved than fathers; mothers are also perceived to be more powerful than fathers
in that they give the directives and organize the child’s activities. Although children do
not perceive differences in punitiveness between their parents (Carunungan-Robles,
1986), it is not uncommon for fathers to be called on and to implement punishment for
major transgressions.

The emphasis on the aforementioned family values suggests parental child rearing
attitudes that are more authoritarian than progressive. Authoritarian attitudes emphasize
parental authority and child obedience and conformity; in contrast, progressive attitudes
involve beliefs that children are agentic and self-directing and should be able to express
and assert themselves (Schaefer & Edgerton, 1985). The extant local data bear this out.
In the cross-national Value of Children (VOC) study conducted in the 1970s, the quality
that over 60% of Filipino parents most valued in their children is “to mind their
parents.” In contrast, independence and self-reliance were among the lowest cited
responses (Hoffman, 1988). Even two decades later, when asked to define a “good” and

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competent child, the most frequent responses of Filipino rural mothers pertained to
obedience towards parents, being helpful in household chores, caring for younger
siblings, and providing for the needs of the family (Durbrow, Peña, Masten, Sesma, &
Williamson, 2001).

THE FILIPINO FATHER

The father's main duty is to provide for his family as well as he can. It is a proud father
who can say he put all his children through school and an even prouder one who can
boast of seeing his children through college. Education is considered the best gift
parents can give their children.

Many Filipino fathers also see it as their role to build up a business to ensure their
children a place in life when they grow up and join the workforce. It is seen as an
inheritance they can leave to their children upon their death. It is important to Filipinos
that they leave something to their children-through this they feel they can continue to
provide for their children even when the latter are able to provide for themselves.
Parents think it is their duty to give their children a better life than the one they had.
This is how the present dynasties in the Philippines were built-a family business passed
from generation to generation with each generation improving and expanding it. In
leaving his children more than he received, a Filipino feels he has been a good father.

The Filipino father is a ceremonial figurehead. He is the head of the family, but in many
cases, in name only. He is treated like royalty at home-the children must be quiet when
he is asleep, they bring him his slippers when he gets home, cater to his whims and
needs and take pains not to get in his way or arouse his anger because he works hard all
day and needs to rest and relax. Hence they do not usually consult him about their
problems. As a father he does not usually have much to do with the children's
upbringing. That responsibility is designated to the mother.

The father is a disciplinary figure used by the mother to threaten the child into
obedience, e.g. she might say stop teasing your sister or your father will belt you when
he comes home. This sometimes results in the children growing up in fear of their
father and never getting to know him as a person. The Filipino only plays the role of
father when his children are in their teenage years, whereupon he becomes more aware
and more controlling of their activities, His role as disciplinarian is even stronger now
because the wife seems to feel less capable in this area once the children are older. This
is due to the disciplinary methods she uses (threats and bribery) which become less

15
effective when the children get older. But the Filipino father's most important role or
duty is still that of provider and the role is a lifetime one.

THE FILIPINO MOTHER

Children are of great importance in family-oriented Philippine culture. They form the
link that binds the wife's family to the husband's. They also present opportunities for
extending kin relations through the compadrazco system. Hence, Filipinas expect and
are expected to have children once they marry.

The role of mother is probably the most important role a Filipina will assume in the
course of her life. Since the mother is in charge of household matters and responsibility
of the children lies mainly with her , she is in a position of power. This power is not to
be underestimated considering that kinship dynamics is the central propitiating force in
Philippines society, as illustrated by the prevalence of nepotism in many areas.

Her power comes from the sense of obligation to parents instilled in children. There is
also another factor that comes into it- the sense of belonging and ownership which
characterizes Filipino relationships. In Study of Psychopathology, Dr Lapuz states:' A
person grows up in the Filipino culture with one paramount assumption: that he belongs
to someone. When he presents himself to others, it is with his family that he is
identified. He belongs to the family as a whole as well as to its members.' She goes on
to say: ' Between the parents, there is a further choice as to whom one belongs. Almost
always, it is the mother. The loyalty, allegiance and the sense of obligation are stronger
with her than with farther. One must never cause her hurt or displeasure . The greater
attachment to the mother is , of course, inevitable not only because of biological
circumstances , but also because of the prolonged intense emotional nurturing received
from her. Here is where to belong gains the meaning of to be loved ,cared for, and
protected.'

The 'ownership ' type of relationship gives the mother certain rights over the child. For
example , she believes she has the right to know her children' s private thoughts and
thus encourages the confiding of problems and secrets. While she does this with the
intention of guiding their thinking and advising them properly, there may also be an
unconscious or perhaps subconscious wish to make them emotionally dependent on her,
thus giving her a greater hold on them. A mother also has the right to advise her
children who in turn are taught to take such advice meekly because it is given in their
interest.

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George M. Guthrie and Pepita Jimenez Jacobs did a cross-cultural study on
child-rearing entitled Child Rearing and Personality Development in the Philippines.
They compared their findings with those of Sears, Maccoby and Levin on the patterns
of child-rearing among American mothers. Some of the more obvious and important
differences they report are: Filipino mothers are more lenient and permissive about
feeding intervals, weaning and toilet-training than their American counterparts;
American mothers use denial of privileges, threats of loss of love, and physical
punishment to enforce obedience, while Filipino mothers are more likely to punish
physically, scold, or bribe; American mothers do not as a rule share are surrounded by
many adults who share in the responsibility of their upbringing.

Some differences between the two cultures were attributed to the environment but most
appear to have stemmed from dissimilar cultural emphasis. For example, the
child-rearing practices of Filipino mothers are directed and determined by the cultural
emphasis on the importance of the family and smooth interpersonal relations. The
difference in emphasis in Philippines and American culture is expressed succinctly in
the following statement by Guthrie and Jacobs: The Philippine ideal is not
self-sufficiency and independence but rather family sufficiency and refined sense of
reciprocity.' This was demonstrated quite clearly in their study on Philippine parental
attitudes towards their children. They make the following comment in their discussion
of their findings:Parents do not express the hope that their children will be ambitious or
show great achievements. There is no mention of children becoming rich or famous. On
the contrary, they stress the hope that their child will heed family values.'

Although the upbringing of Filipino children may be shared by others in the family, the
main responsibility lies with the mother. While the others may play with them or help
them dress, ect., it is the mother who disciplines them. Her role is acknowledged by
society and consequently it is she who receives the credit when they grow up to be good
members of the community , and the blame when they fail. Filipinos believe that
children's behavior reflects their parents' attitudes. Hence the mother places paramount
importance on the task of instilling the cultural values of the family sufficiency and
pakikisama, the ability to get along smoothly with others.

The role of the mother does not end upon the marriage of her children. Although it is
diminished, she still remains a powerful figure in the life of her children. She can
influence major decisions such as choosing curtains for the kitchen or the baby's room.

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When grandchildren arrive she inevitably has to have a say in the baptismal
celebrations or at least know everything concerning the child. This often gives rise to
conflict between a wife and her mother-in-law, a situation not uncommon in Philippine
society. In such situations the husband is always caught in the middle. He must never
openly go against his mother because it is his duty first and foremost to be a good
son.On the other hand he cannot ignore his wife's complaints and may often sympathize
with her. Yet he is powerless to do anything and, although the wife complains to him
and wants him to intervene, she knows he cannot and never will. She will also never
openly defy or confront her mother-in-law.

There is usually a great effort on the wife's part to get along with her mother-in-law. In
Filipino Marriages in Crisis, Dr. Lapuz comments:' It is an attribute, dubious perhaps, to
the Filipino daughter-in-law that she continues to want to be liked by her husband's
mother. ' Part of the reason for this is the power the mother-in-law wields over her son.
Good relations with the mother-in-law ensures support, both material and emotional,
which naturally would make life easier for the wife/daughter-in-law. It is important to
understand the unique position in which the Filipino daughter-in-law is placed in a
situation which occurs across many different cultures. Because of it, she may not
respond in the way her American or European counterparts would.

THE FILIPINO AS HUSBAND/WIFE

The role of the Filipino husband is mainly that of breadwinner. This is the only duty he
is really expected to fulfill and his performance in this area is what determines his
success or failure as a husband (and a father). A husband who has a mistress or querida
is accepted and tolerated by society if he can support both his wife and mistress. A man
who can support two or more families is regarded with amazement and admiration, not
disgust, and earns a reputation for being macho. However, the playboy who goes
around getting girls into trouble and then leaving them to fend for themselves is
considered irresponsible and a coward.

In A Study of Psychopathology, Dr Lapuz says: The usual cultural norm for masculinity
is firstly, the ability to perform sexual intercourse and secondly, freedom from marital
controls in a man's activities. The first criterion is measured by the number of children a
man has, which is why large families are preferred in the Philippines. A large number of
offspring is evidence of a man's virility. It also explains why a man will have children
with his mistress.

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The second norm is one that every Filipino husband strives to give an impression of, for
fear of being called under the saya-henpecked. This threat is real because Filipino wives
are very dominant and, though they may appear quiet and submissive before others, are
very skillful in manipulating their husbands to get what they want. Because the wife
runs the household, she considers it her territory and the husband does not have much
say in household issues. He gives his opinion only when consulted and even then his
recommendations may not be followed. Thus, the Filipino husband concentrates on
being a good provider for his wife and children.

The wife has not deviated much from the traditional role of homemaking, rearing
children, and managing the household. Whatever success the children may achieve is
usually attributed to her; her association with the children is closer than the father's.

If the couple aspires to a higher standard of living than the income of the husband can
provide, she augments the income by engaging in household industry, starting a
“sari-sari store”, acting as a sales agent for some commercial goods raising hogs and/or
poultry on a modest commercial scale, running a restaurant, or opening an
import-export agency. Numerous tasks challenge her creativeness and business acumen,
and the Filipina is known for her competence as a small business entrepreneur.

If a college graduate, the wife often has full-time professional employment as a doctor,
dentist, or office worker. She can be away from home since elderly relatives, such as the
grandmother or a spinster sister can take care of the younger children. Domestic
(katulong) relieves her of household chores. However, in addition to her office or
professional work she is still expected to care for the children and home and cater to her
husband. The employment of the wife outside the home is welcome as long as her
income is supplementary and he views her work as secondary to her home.

The strength and influence of the mothers management of the home lies in her control
of the finances. The husband expected to turn over his paycheck to the wife, who, in
turn, gives him his personal allowance. The wife thus has a feeling of emotional
security-knowing her husband has limited money he is less likely to be attractive to
other women.

THE FILIPINO CHILDREN

Filipinos are raised to demonstrate respect towards their elders; from the moment a
child is able to understand, it is essential that they learn to say “po” (sir) and “opo”

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(yes) when speaking with their elders. This knowledge of respect is not only expected
from children, but from adults as well. As a person from the Philippines, it is necessary
to always use these words when conversing with those that are older.

Within the family, children are expected to exude proper treatment towards their parents
and older siblings. In the Filipino family dynamic, the eldest children are given much
more responsibility: looking after their siblings when their parents are not around, for
example. Intolerable behaviors include fighting with parents and/or older siblings as
well as speaking with an arrogant tone. Children who act out this high level of
inappropriateness would be reprimanded. Furthermore, a child living in a Filipino
household is required to ask permission before leaving the home. Once the child has
returned, their parents and elder family members anticipate “the kissing of hands” or a
“hand-to-forehead” gesture with the words “mano po” which symbolizes an appropriate
greeting.

RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHER FILIPINO MEMBER

Filipinos take pride in their families. In the Philippines, it is family first. So whether
you are part of the immediate family or you belong to the third or fourth generation,
you are treated as a family member. Sometimes, even the closest of friends are
considered family, too.Having Close Family Ties is also one of their unique traits. It is
one of the outstanding cultural values that Filipinos have. The family takes care of each
other and are taught to be loyal to family and elders by simply obeying their authorities.
This is one of the unique characteristics of Filipinos. Having fondness for family
reunions during secular and religious holidays such as Christmas, New Year’s eve, All
Saints’ Day, Holy Week, Fiestas, homecomings, birthdays, weddings, graduations,
baptisms, funerals etc. is evidence that Filipino people valued not only our cultural
tradition but the spirit of our family. As Filipinos, we are blessed to have been brought
up with strong family ties.
Family is considered to be the foundation of social life for most Filipinos. The nuclear
family is the core family unit, however bonds are often tight knit among extended
family members. Indeed, people may be encouraged to have a relationship with their
aunts and uncles that is just as strong as the relationship with their parents. Close
familial relationships often go beyond one’s genetic connections or bloodlines to
incorporate distant relatives, close neighbors or friends. For example, it is common to
hear people refer to distant relatives or non-relatives with familial terms such as ‘tita’
(aunt), ‘tito’ (uncle), ‘lola’ (grandmother) and ‘lolo’ (grandfather). One instance is
when a grandchild refers to their grandparent’s friend or cousin as lola or lolo.

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SOURCE AND REFERENCES

● Alampay, L. P., & Jocson, R. M. (2011). Attributions and Attitudes of Mothers and
Fathers in the Philippines. Nuclear Family, 11(2–3), 163–176.
https://doi.org/10.1080/15295192.2011.585564

● David, E. J. R., & Okazaki, S. (2006). Colonial mentality: a review and

recommendation for Filipino American psychology. Cultural Diversity and Ethnic
Minority Psychology, 12(1), 1.

● Family Roles. (n.d.). The Philippines.

https://soc2273.weebly.com/family-roles.html#:~:text=Within%20the%20family%2C%
20children%20are,are%20not%20around%2C%20for%20example.

● Filipino Culture - Family. (2017). Cultural Atlas.

https://culturalatlas.sbs.com.au/filipino-culture/filipino-culture-family

● Hays, J. (n.d.). FILIPINO CHARACTER AND PERSONALITY: HIYA, AMOR

PROPIO, EMOTIONS AND THE INFLUENCES OF CATHOLICISM, ASIA AND
SPAIN | Facts and Details.
https://factsanddetails.com/southeast-asia/Philippines/sub5_6c/entry-3867.html

● Hays, J. (n.d.-a). FAMILIES IN THE PHILIPPINES: GODPARENTS, KINSHIP

STRUCTURE AND BLOOD FEUDS | Facts and Details.
https://factsanddetails.com/southeast-asia/Philippines/sub5_6c/entry-3874.html

● Gata, L. (2016). Philippines, Families in. Filipino Family.

https://doi.org/10.1002/9781119085621.wbefs251

● Herrington, D. (n.d.). Living In The Philippines - The Father | Profile Of A Filipino.

https://www.livinginthephilippines.com/culture-and-people/profile-of-a-filipino/1304-t
he-father

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● Herrington, D. (n.d.-b). Living In The Philippines - The Mother | Profile Of A Filipino.
https://www.livinginthephilippines.com/culture-and-people/profile-of-a-filipino/1298-t
he-mother

● Herrington, D. (n.d.-b). Living In The Philippines - The Husband | Profile Of A

Filipino.
https://www.livinginthephilippines.com/culture-and-people/profile-of-a-filipino/1303-t
he-husband#:~:text=The%20role%20of%20the%20Filipino,husband%20(and%20a%20
father).

● Herrington, D. (n.d.-d). Living In The Philippines - The Roles Of Husband, Wife, And
Children | Philippine Culture.
https://www.livinginthephilippines.com/culture-and-people/philippine-culture/90-the-ro
les-of-husband-wife-and-children

● Leonardo N. Mercado | The Filipino mind (Issue 1). (n.d.).

https://www.synkretic.com/issues/on-snow-and-the-filipino-mind?fbclid=IwAR1qgFm
oHuzK5XnsPofkgNhiFCxDYl-MOVhXJyKbHLsibo6TqdANKtArNtI#top

● Trocino, K. D. (2020). The Filipino Language and Its Austronesian Roots: Five Things
You Should Know. Narra Studio.
https://narrastudio.com/blogs/journal/the-filipino-language-and-its-austronesian-roots-fi
ve-things-you-should-know?fbclid=IwAR0hqKJXL01AUh3iBRn_nZ7Zya_KKe-qvVJI
2hEmZoU3GQHazEbpU1TI2vc

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