STORMY NIGHTS

STORMY NIGHTS
Screenplay by
Tim John
Third draft - Revised December 17th 2020

FADE IN:
1 EXT. SMALL TRAIN STATION - ROMANIA - DAY 1
Wintry. Patches of snow. A few Christmas decorations and

lights. Two students wait on a bench. SEBASTIAN’s 22, a
handsome, easy-going guy in an old ski-jacket and ironic T-
shirt. LAURA’s 22, pretty, but a tad intense. Her sweatshirt
says “KALE” instead of “YALE”. They each have a backpack.
SEBASTIAN
(checking his ticket)
We’re carriage number nine.
LAURA
You made reservations?
SEBASTIAN
Of course.
Laura’s touched.
2 INT. TRAIN CARRIAGE - DAY 2
Sebastian leads Laura in, looks at his ticket, then at seats.
SEBASTIAN
Must be those two over there.
He goes to two seats near several other cool young people -

two GUYS and GIRLS, all looking at their phones or reading.
Sebastian loads his and Laura’s backpacks onto the luggage

rack, then sits beside her.
SEBASTIAN
So, train time...
(to the nearby passengers)
Hey.
In response, one of the Girls suddenly sings back...
1ST GIRL
Hay-ay!
Laura’s surprised. Even more so when one of the guys sings...
1ST GUY
Hay-ay-ay-ay-ay!
And then both girls and both guys and Sebastian sing...
SEBASTIAN & GIRLS & GUYS

Hay-ay-ay-ay-ay!
The second Guy starts making BBOX percussive sounds.

2.
Sebastian sings the verse of “Hey Soul Sister” by TRAIN.
SEBASTIAN
(to Laura)
Your lipstick stains...
Everyone claps along, both girls swaying to the rhythm.
SEBASTIAN
(serenading Laura)
...On the front-lobe of my left
side brains...
Some ELDERLY PASSENGERS look surprised. Others enjoy it.
SEBASTIAN
I knew I wouldn’t forget you/ And
so I went and let you/ blow my
mind.
PRIM OLD MAN

(aside to his wife)
See, it’s about drugs.
But Laura’s wowed.
One of the young Guys produces a guitar and strums along.
One of the Girls uses her suitcase as an effective bass drum.
SEBASTIAN
(serenading Laura)
Your sweet moonbeam/ The smell of
you in every single dream I dream/
Both young girls start dancing and Sebastian coaxes shy Laura
into dancing too as he continues...
SEBASTIAN
I knew when we collided/ You’re the
one I have decided/ Who’s one of my
kind.
SEVERAL PASSENGERS
Hey, soul sister! Ain’t that Mr.
Mister on the radio, stereo?
Laura is blown away.
3 EXT. TRAIN - DAY 3
We hear their singing fade away as the train travels on.
4 EXT. ANOTHER STATION - DAY 4
The train’s stopped. PASSENGERS disembark, including...

3.
...the Guys and Girls who just sang. Sebastian and Laura are
still on board, waving goodbye to them through the window.
SEBASTIAN
So now you’ve met my band.
LAURA
How long were you planning that?
SEBASTIAN
Oh, I don’t know, maybe ever since
I first met you...
He smiles his charming smile.
SEBASTIAN
And now we have three days away
from everything. Complete peace.
A tinny Christmas carol shatters the silence.
6 EXT. SUBURBAN HOUSE - DAY 6
The tinny Christmas carol plays from one of the myriad

decorations that cover every inch of the house and garden:
lights galore, model Reindeer, Angels and even Camels...
Standing amidst them are Frankie’s French MUM and Asian DAD,
wearing gawdy, matching Christmas sweaters and hats.
Frankie’s mum has ear-rings like Christmas balls. Even the
pet CATS they’re holding wear Elf costumes and hats. They
wave the cats’ paws to say goodbye to...
FRANKIE and ALESSA, who hurry into a waiting Taxi.
Frankie’s 27, half Asian, a stylish online Influencer,

pretty, and always perfectly accessorised.
Alessa’s more “street”, with cool tattoos. She’s a teacher,

aged 30, handsome and athletic in sporty urban gear. She
rarely stays still in any scene. She’s generally doing some
Yoga style stretches, but today they just want to get away.
7 INT. TAXI - DAY 7
FRANKIE
(slight French accent)
Ohmigod, how did we survive three
days with them? How did we even
survive three minutes? Promise me
next year we’ll find an escape.
We’ll say we’ve been kidnapped.
4.
ALESSA
Why wait till next year?
She produces a gift-wrapped envelope.
FRANKIE
What’s this?
ALESSA
Open it.
Frankie does, and is amazed by the brochure for “The Perfect

Escape” - a picturesque, snowy mountain-top retreat.
ALESSA
Our flight’s at two, so this’ll be
the first time you’ve ever packed
in under five hours.
FRANKIE
I can’t believe it.
ALESSA
Why not? Doesn’t everyone need a
break after a family Christmas?
CUT TO:
A tall family Christmas tree looking rather sad as the last

of its decorations are removed. It’s in...
8 INT. SCOTT AND SUSANNA’S LIVING-ROOM - DAY 8
There’s something a little cold and stark about the room.

Minimalist design. Nothing out of place - more like an office
reception than a home.
SUSANNA, aged 42, is wearing her dressing gown. She’s Italian

and attractive, but seems sad as she removes the last of the
Christmas tree decorations - especially one made by a child.
CU - the decorative tinsel on it framing an old photo of a

happy little 5 year-old boy, Todd.
SCOTT O.S.
Hi.
Susanna turns to SCOTT, late 40’s, a successful architect.

He’s fairly handsome and wears expensive Ath-leisure wear.
SUSANNA
Where have you been?
SCOTT
The office. You know Nick: “If you
can’t come in on Saturday, don’t
bother coming in on Sunday”.
5.
Susanna knows only too well.
SCOTT
Right, well I’d better get packing
for this conference.
SUSANNA
Can you at least take the angel off
the top?
She points to the top of the tree.
Scott climbs the small wooden steps by the base of it. As he

reaches for the Angel decoration, he loses his balance and
falls onto the tree, sending it crashing to the floor, with
him on top of it, getting spiked by the sharp branches.
SCOTT
Fuck!
SUSANNA
(Trying not to smile)
Oh dear, a fallen angel.
Scott looks annoyed as he gets up and brushes himself off.
SUSANNA
I’m going to visit my sister.
SCOTT
Really? For how long?
SUSANNA
I don’t know, a couple of nights.
She can help me with my New Year’s
resolution.
SCOTT
Which is..?
SUSANNA
No booze until Easter.
BEEP! Susanna gets a text message.
CU - the text “Can’t wait to meet you in person”, signed

“William” followed by hearts and emojis suggesting “hot”.
9 INT. SUSANNA’S BEDROOM - DESIGNER HOUSE - DAY 9
Susanna produces a shopping bag from the back of her closet

and takes out sexy new lingerie.
She lays it on the bed, excited, then apprehensive.
THE SCREEN SPLITS in two. On the left we see Susanna packing -

on the right Scott, in his office full of boys’ “toys”.
6.
Scott packs AFTERSHAVE.
Susanna packs PERFUME.
Scott packs Athlete’s Foot CREAM.
Susanna is about to pack her Dr.Scholl’s Sandals...
SUSANNA
(to herself)
No, comfy says “Middle-aged”.
Scott unlocks his attache case, revealing several boxes of

condoms, but just as he does...
Susanna walks in, in her coat and scarf, making him jump and
quickly shut his case.
SUSANNA
You need anything? Clean socks?
SCOTT
No, no, I’m good. Thanks.
SUSANNA
Right, then I’m off. Bye, Scott.
SCOTT
Let me know you got there safely.
SUSANNA
Will do.
(slightly sarcastic)
And don’t work too hard...
He nods. She leaves. No kiss goodbye.
Scott looks out the window and sees Susanna get into a taxi
and go. The moment she does, he packs the condoms in his case
on top of a brochure for “The Perfect Escape”.
CUT TO:
CU “The Perfect Escape” logo on the side of a pick-up truck.
10 EXT. PARKING AREA - COUNTRY RAILWAY STATION - DAY 10
The American pick-up truck is parked outside the tiny station

with the foothills of snow-capped mountains behind it.
TITLE: Transylvania.
Beside the truck is JOEL - late 50’s/early 60’s, a laid-back

Canadian in jeans, with a gleam in his eye and a hint of
Woodstock about him. He’s doing some TAI CHI while he waits.
He waves to Laura and Sebastian as they approach.

7.
JOEL
Howdi. Namaste. I’m Joel.
SEBASTIAN
Sebastian and Laura.
JOEL
You ready for your big adventure?
LAURA
It’s all 100% recycled materials,
right, the centre?
JOEL
You bet. The whole shebang. Built
it ourselves.
LAURA
And you cater for vegans?
JOEL
Have to. I married one. If I hadn’t
turned vegan, I’d have starved.
Laura’s relieved.
11 EXT. ARRIVALS TERMINAL - AIRPORT - DAY 11
With the “ARRIVALS” sign behind them, ALESSA holds a small

photographic LIGHT as FRANKIE takes SELFIES.
FRANKIE
A bit more to the left, so it
catches the logo.
Alessa adjusts the light so it illuminates Frankie’s bag.
FRANKIE
Great. Perfect.
ALESSA
I can’t believe you brought a light
on our vacation.
FRANKIE
Why not? It’ll make everything look
better.
Alessa wonders what she might be implying.
Frankie poses for another shot.
ALESSA
You sure you want us to have kids?
You’ll never get them to stay
still. Unless you pay them or give
them Minecraft.
8.
FRANKIE
Of course I want kids. I love you.
A 2-YEAR-OLD GIRL starts wailing, which makes Frankie flinch.
A flustered YOUNG MOTHER tries to steer her little girl in a

stroller while also wheeling her huge suitcase.
ALESSA
Here. Let me give you a hand.
She takes the woman’s suitcase.
ALESSA
You need a cab?
The mother nods. Alessa turns to Frankie.
ALESSA
Back in a sec.
12 EXT. AIRPORT - DAY 12
A taxi drives away from the airport.
ALESSA O.S.
Listen, I thought what our new
year’s resolution could be...
13 INT. CESAR’S TAXI - DAY 13
Alessa and Frankie are driven away from the Airport by taxi-
driver, CESAR, aged 37, not bad looking - a cheeky guy.
ALESSA
...deciding who’s gonna be the
biological mum.
Frankie weighs that up, seeming uncertain.
ALESSA
I’d obviously have more time ‘cause
I get school holidays. We also need
to agree on how we do this, you
know, test tube or actual sex...
Intrigued, Cesar swerves a bit and gets hooted.
ALESSA
Hey, keep your eyes on the road!
FRANKIE
(to Alessa)
You’ve dated a few guys. What was
it like? That part...
9.
ALESSA
You really wanna know?
ANGLE ON: Cesar, who’d definitely like to hear...
FRANKIE
Well what was the last guy like?
ALESSA
Horrible. Imagine a dildo that goes
soft then snores... and farts.
FRANKIE
Ewwww... Men.
Cesar looks disappointed.
14 INT. SCOTT’S TAXI - DAY 14
Scott’s driven along by inquisitive taxi-driver Victor.
VICTOR
So this is your first online date?
Wow, that surprises me.
Scott looks slightly insulted.
VICTOR
What’s her name?
SCOTT
Rose. She’s from London.
VICTOR
Cool. English Rose... And how old
is Rose?
SCOTT
Her profile said she was mid 30’s.
VICTOR
When? Twenty years ago? Everybody
lies, man. You got any photos?
SCOTT
No. She’s married, plus she used to
be a minor celebrity, so she wanted
to make sure our personalities
clicked before risking any pictures
online. But we’ve exchanged a bunch
of texts and emails. We really
click.
Scott removes his wedding ring, but he seem a little torn.
VICTOR
Married, huh? Any kids?
10.
SCOTT
No. Neither of us.
VICTOR
What’s Rose’s husband do?
SCOTT
No idea. All I know is she says
he’s turned into a real dick.
15 EXT. ROAD - DAY 15
Cesar’s taxi nears the foothills of the mountains.
ALESSA O.S.
So where do we find the right
sperm?
16 INT. CESAR’S TAXI - DAY 16
FRANKIE
Well, the father’s gotta be
handsome... And have great genes.
And be smart... And tall.
Cesar sits up in his seat.
FRANKIE
And funny.
Cheeky Cesar tries his luck - half-joking.
CESAR
I’m funny. Happy to help out.
Both girls share a look.
CESAR
I’m just saying. We could pull
over. I wouldn’t charge. I’d turn
off the meter.
FRANKIE
Can you just drive?
CESAR
Sure.
ALESSA
(to Frankie)
So, tall, handsome, fit, smart and
funny. Is that all?
FRANKIE
And he has to be a Libra.
11.
ALESSA
(somewhat frustrated)
O-kay. No problem...
17 EXT. “THE PERFECT ESCAPE” HOTEL - DAY 17
Joel’s pick-up truck arrives at the stunning Eco retreat - a

boutique hotel complex comprised of wooden cabins with solar
panels, a hot tub, composting bins, a log burner, a veg
garden, greenhouse and a large Christmas tree with lights on.
Joel opens the truck door for Laura to get out.
SEBASTIAN
Thanks. Wow, this is awesome.
JOEL
We like it. Miles from anywhere.
You can hear the silence.
There’s a loud ALERT tone from Sebastian’s watch.
SEBASTIAN
Sorry. She got me this new app for
Christmas; tells me when I need to
hydrate.
JOEL
Hydrate? In my day we just had a
drink. That thing tell you when you
need to pee and poop?
LAURA
Hydration’s important. We need two
litres of water a day. Minimum.
JOEL
Well there’ll be plenty up here
once that snow melts - though the
weather said we’re in for a storm.
Your cabin’s round the back. First
on the left. Door’s open.
SEBASTIAN
Thanks.
We follow him and Laura as they round the corner and see
charming Eco cabins.
LAURA
Cool.
SEBASTIAN
Speaking of which, you do know it’s
gonna be freezing at night. You
gonna worry if they use fossil fuel
heating?
12.
LAURA
(seductively)
Oh, I can think of all sorts of
natural ways to stay hot...
Sebastian smiles his winning smile.
Victor’s Mercedes pulls up near a small Mini-van with “The

Perfect Escape” logo on its side.
Out steps BRITTA, mid 50s. She’s strong, with a striking,

naturally lined face. She wears dungarees.
19 INT. MERCEDES - DAY 19
VICTOR
Whoa, is that Rose? That woman’ll
eat you alive.
Scott does look apprehensive.
Scott steps away from the Mercedes towards Britta, pulling

his case and looking anxious. Until he sees pretty Frankie
step out from behind the van.
SCOTT
Rose..?
Frankie frowns at him.
FRANKIE
No.
Scott’s disappointed, until fit young Alessa appears.
SCOTT
Rose?
ALESSA
Who the hell are you?
SCOTT
I’m, er William.
Observing this, Britta can’t help snickering, and saying...
BRITTA
Come here, big boy! It’s me!!
Scott looks startled as she gives him a big wink.

13.
Behind him, Victor chuckles and drives away.
BRITTA
(to Scott)
Oh, stop looking like your dick
just fell off. I’m just yanking
your chain.
Alessa and Frankie can’t help grinning.
BRITTA
(to Scott)
Gimme your bag.
(off his hesitancy)
Don’t worry. I won’t bite.
Unless you really piss me off.
She takes his case and loads it in the van.
SCOTT
I’m meeting an English lady.
BRITTA
I know. She’s already there. Okay,
let’s rock’n’roll...
21 EXT. MOUNTAIN TRACK - DAY 21
Loud classic Rock music blares as Britta’s mini-van speeds up

the track. There’s more snow as they climb higher.
22 INT. MINI-VAN - DAY 22
Britta shakes her head and sings along to her music. In the
back, Scott, Alessa and Frankie share a bench seat.
SCOTT
So what do you guys do?
FRANKIE
I’m an influencer. Lifestyle.
SCOTT
Cool. And you?
ALESSA
I’m a teacher.
SCOTT
Great. What do you teach?
ALESSA
(a little bluntly)
Children.
14.
SCOTT
My teachers said I was a nightmare.
My folks still do.
ALESSA
Your parents are still alive?
SCOTT
I’m not that old!
FRANKIE
How old are they?
SCOTT
In their eighties, but still going
strong.
ALESSA
(intrigued)
So you have good genes.
SCOTT
I guess.
ALESSA
Which star-sign are you?
SCOTT
Libra. Why?
ALESSA
No reason. Just wondered.
Frankie looks worried.
23 EXT. REAR OF “THE PERFECT ESCAPE" HOTEL - DAY 23
Laura relaxes in the hot tub, but Sebastian seems

uncharacteristically serious.
SEBASTIAN
I can’t believe you’ll be away for
six months.
LAURA
Come and visit.
SEBASTIAN
I can’t afford those flights.
LAURA
So we’ll Zoom and Face-time.
SEBASTIAN
If they even have signal out there.
15.
LAURA
Baby if somebody doesn’t protect
those turtle eggs, they’ll die out.
Sebastian doesn’t say anything.
LAURA
Can’t we just be in the moment?
This place is so idyllic.
But they hear a van arrive nearby and doors open and close.
CUT TO:
The front of the complex. Joel greets Frankie, Alessa and

Scott with a Namaste gesture as they exit Britta’s mini-van.
JOEL
Welcome. I’m Joel. Namaste.
FRANKIE
Frankie. Namaste.
ALESSA
Alessa. Namaste.
Scott prefers to shake hands.
SCOTT
Hi, I’m er William.
He admires the Hotel complex.
SCOTT
You built all this yourselves?
JOEL
Yup. This is our baby.
SCOTT
Impressive.
JOEL
Thanks. And just past the garden I
believe you’ll find your English
Rose... Last cabin on the left.
CUT TO:
Scott feeling excited, walking past Sebastian and Laura in

the hot tub, giving them a cursory nod.
SCOTT
Hi.
They nod back, but are caught up in themselves.

16.
Scott arrives at the final cabin. Before knocking, he sees a

small mirror and checks his hair in it.
Trying to ignore Laura and Sebastian watching him from the

background, Scott sprays breath freshener in his mouth.
He sniffs his armpits, flinches a little and sprays them too.

He takes a deep breath and knocks on the door.
SCOTT
Rose? It’s me, “William”.
The door opens slowly. Scott tenses with excitement. Until...
His wife, Susanna, appears behind the door, wearing her new
lingerie and an equally startled expression.
SCOTT ZUZANNAH
What the FUCK?!! What the FUCK??!!
She slaps him across the face.
Sebastian and Laura can’t help laughing.
24 INT. SCOTT & SUSANNA'S CABIN - DAY 24
Scott and Susanna argue as he walks over the bed, holding his
phone up to try and get signal.
SCOTT
Typical! No fricking signal!
SUSANNA
What the hell were you doing on a
dating site?!
SCOTT
Me? Why were you on it?
SUSANNA
Because you’re married to your
fricking work.
SCOTT
And you thought screwing around
would make you happy?
SUSANNA
I’ve no idea what would make me
happy any more.
25 INT. FRANKIE AND ALESSA'S CABIN - DAY 25
As Frankie and Alessa unpack, they hear Susanna crying.

17.
ALESSA
That’s the thing with online
dating, you never get the whole
picture.
BEEP! Frankie gets a text alert and looks at her phone.
CU - a text message “Wanna meet in person?”
Frankie quickly texts back...
CU - “Maybe after New Year”
She quickly turns off her phone.
ALESSA
Who was that?
FRANKIE
Nobody. Just my web guy.
26 INT. DINING AREA - “THE PERFECT ESCAPE” HOTEL - DAY 26
A huge, wooden space. Chilled background music. The various

guests eat lunch at their own tables. Alessa’s with Frankie,
who can’t eat without taking a photo of her food first.
Joel and Britta sit off to the side, watching the others.
They notice Susanna eating alone, then Sebastian and Laura
carrying their trays of food to another table.
Laura puts her plastic bottle of mineral water on the table.
LAURA
I can’t believe they don’t have
glass bottles. By 2050 there’ll be
more plastic in the sea than fish.
SEBASTIAN
I’m sure they recycle.
SCOTT O.S.
(speaking loudly)
Victor? It’s Scott. Remember?
Everyone inside can hear him as he talks into his phone right
outside the window.
SCOTT
(into phone)
You gave me a ride. To meet Rose.
No, she turned out to be my wife.
ANGLE ON: Susanna feeling really embarrassed.
CUT TO:
18.
VICTOR
(into phone)
Sorry, boss, but they’re expecting
a lot more snow.
CUT TO:
Scott hanging up, frustrated.
27 EXT. MOUNTAIN - DAY 27
Sebastian speeds down a snowy slope on a snowboard, doing

daredevil moves. He’s wearing a Go-Pro camera.
CUT TO:
POV of Go-Pro camera as he does impressive jumps.
CUT TO:
Frankie and Alessa making “Snow Angels”. Frankie of course

wants to capture the perfect one on her phone.
Susanna watches them rolling about together from a little

way, where she’s walking alone, feeling a little envious.
28 EXT. FRONT OF THE HOTEL - AFTERNOON 28
Joel is adjusting some skis when Scott appears, towing his

suitcase.
SCOTT
Hi. How much to drive me back down?
THUNDER rumbles.
JOEL
Sorry. I could get stuck if there’s
a storm. Things can change real
quick up here.
(a beat - knowingly)
All kindsa things...
Scott wonders what he might mean.
DISSOLVE TO:
A BROCHURE pinned to a pinboard, listing “ACTIVITIES: Skiing,

Snowboarding, Yoga, Aqua Therapy, Gong Baths, Forest Bathing,
Life Coaching.”
29 INT. HALLWAY - “THE PERFECT ESCAPE” HOTEL - AFTERNOON 29
Sebastian studies the list of activities.

19.
CU - HIS POV of “Life Coaching”.
30 INT. SEBASTIAN AND LAURA'S CABIN - AFTERNOON 30
Laura’s studying pictures of Turtles on her laptop.
31 INT. RELAXATION ROOM - “THE PERFECT ESCAPE” HOTEL - AFTERNOON

31
A cosy space. With a wall of framed Certificates behind her,

BRITTA sits in a comfy chair opposite SEBASTIAN.
SEBASTIAN
That’s her New Year’s resolution,
to do even more to save the planet.
She’s suddenly become obsessed.
BRITTA
Did you make a resolution?
SEBASTIAN
Yeah - bringing her here. I thought
it might help her lighten up and, I
don’t know, maybe think about
saving our relationship as much as
the world.
BRITTA
Perhaps she doesn’t think your
relationship is in danger.
Sebastian thinks about that.
BRITTA
Do you feel she takes you for
granted?
SEBASTIAN
Maybe. What are you suggesting?
BRITTA
Nothing. People can get hurt
playing games.
32 INT. YOGA STUDIO - “THE PERFECT ESCAPE” HOTEL - AFTERNOON 32
Alessa, Frankie, Laura and Susanna are enjoying a Yoga class

led by Joel. The music and mood are tranquil, despite Scott,
who’s outside in the snow, walking past the big window every
now and then, holding his phone up, hoping for better signal.
SCOTT
Jesus. Shit!
He stomps away.
20.
Susanna moves into a complex Yoga position. She’s very

flexible.
JOEL
Very good.
Alessa’s quite competitive and stretches further herself.
JOEL
You too, Alessa.
Alessa’s pleased, until she notices Frankie looking at Laura,

who catches her gaze and smiles back quite fondly.
DISSOLVE TO:
The class dispersing. Joel compliments Susanna.
JOEL
I think I know why you’re so
flexible. Didn’t you used to be a
dancer?
Susanna smiles.
JOEL
I knew it. We saw you in Swan Lake.
You were magnificent.
SUSANNA
Ohmigod, that was a lifetime ago.
JOEL
Well you obviously haven’t lost it.
Susanna feels flattered. She watches Joel as he leaves. He’s

an attractive man - so calm.
DISSOLVE TO:
Everyone watching a perfect sunset seen from the mountains,

everyone except Scott, who’s absent.
Frankie takes endless photos.
FRANKIE
OhmiGod. Gwynneth’d kill for a shot
like that.
BRITTA
Gwynneth?
FRANKIE
Paltrow. Goop.com. It’s amazing.
SUSANNA
Isn’t she the one selling vagina
scented candles?
21.
BRITTA
That must be so painful. How many’s
she made?
FRANKIE
Ohmigod, she doesn’t actually...
someone just said the smell was
like a vagina.
SUSANNA
Do they do a male version - candles
that smells like assholes?
The women laugh - except for Laura, who sits off to the side
with Sebastian, admiring the sky.
SEBASTIAN
Wow. It’s awesome, isn’t it.
LAURA
Take it in. In ten years’ time you
won’t see it for smog.
SEBASTIAN
That’s it - think positive.
Laura gives him a look.
Joel calls to the group.
JOEL
Okay, let’s go find some firewood.
33 EXT. RETREAT - NIGHT 33
Everyone sits round a big log fire, huddled under blankets

and shawls, drinking. Empty dinner plates are on the ground.
JOEL
(aside to Britta, fondly)
This remind you of when we were on
the road?
He picks up his guitar and starts to strum.
SCOTT
(aside to Susanna)
Ohmigod... If he sings “Kumbayah”,
I’m outa here.
JOEL
Any requests?
22.
SCOTT
Yeah, no folk music! Especially one
of those songs that starts “In
January” because there’ll be eleven
more fricking verses!
FRANKIE
Play something we can dance to.
Joel starts playing and singing an upbeat song.
Frankie grabs Alessa’s hand and they start dancing together -

arms round each other, swaying in the firelight.
Sebastian pulls Laura up too and they dance - in very

different ways. She’s Yogic and flowing; he’s much wilder.
Susanna nods her head to the music and turns to Scott.
SCOTT
No. You know I’m crap at dancing.
Susanna looks disappointed.
Sebastian notices.
SEBASTIAN
(aside to Laura)
She looks sad. Mind if I..?
LAURA
No. Go ahead. Humanity has to work
as one.
Sebastian nods and goes and offers his hand to Susanna, who’s
happy to accept it and dance with him.
And she’s really good. She hasn’t forgotten her old moves.
And she’s loving it. It’s freeing. And it’s been too long.
FRANKIE
(aside to Alessa)
OMG, this is like senior Tik Tok!
She starts filming Susanna.
SEBASTIAN
Wow, you got some moves.
SUSANNA
You’re not bad yourself.
Sebastian smiles, though he’s keen to make sure Laura sees

him and Susanna dancing.
Laura seems to be more interested in watching Frankie and

Alessa as they start dancing together.
23.
But Scott sees Sebastian and Susanna. Maybe it’s not a pang
of jealousy he feels, more a hint of regret.
Though he can’t linger on it for long, because Britta grabs

his arm.
BRITTA
Come to Mama!
She hauls him into the dance, refusing to let him pull away.
And she’s probably stronger than him. They look bizarre -
like a female grizzly bear forcing its victim to dance.
The others sing and clap along.
BRITTA
(to Scott)
Are you okay?
Scott nods.
BRITTA
Good. For a moment there I almost
thought you were going to relax.
Overhearing this, Susanna laughs, which annoys Scott.
SCOTT
What’s the time?
JOEL
What is time? Just another
construct.
SEBASTIAN
I’ll tell you what time it is, time
we played some games.
CUT TO:
CU shot glasses being filled with vodka.
CUT TO:
Everyone sat in a circle round the fire, slightly tipsy.
SEBASTIAN
Okay. Never have I ever sent a
dirty text to the wrong person.
Everyone looks at everyone else.
Alessa grimaces and turns to Frankie.
ALESSA
It was ages ago. Before we met.
24.
FRANKIE
Who’d you send it to?
ALESSA
My great aunt! She had the same
name as my girlfriend. Luckily she
thought scissoring was something to
do with dressmaking.
The others laugh. Alessa knocks back a drink.
DISSOLVE TO:
Later, with everyone quite drunk now.
LAURA
Okay, never have I ever needed
medical attention because I had a
foreign object stuck in my body.
Everyone looks around the circle.
SUSANNA
Does a Frenchman count as a foreign
body?
Scott gives her a look.
SUSANNA
It was at college.
She knocks back another drink.
It starts snowing - heavily.
BRITTA
Right, I’m off to bed. But this has
been great, because if you like
playing games, then you’re gonna
love the next few days.
Joel chuckles with a slightly crazed look in his eyes.
Everyone looks intrigued. Apart from Scott, who’s worried.
FADE TO BLACK.
34 INT. SCOTT & SUSANNA'S CABIN - NIGHT 34
Semi-dark. Silent. Scott and Susanna are asleep - as far from

each other as possible.
Scott suddenly opens one eye and looks to check she’s asleep,
before getting up, as slowly and silently as possible, and
packing his laptop and phone into his case.
25.
35 EXT. SCOTT & SUSANNA'S CABIN - NIGHT 35
Moonlit. Scott creeps out. We follow him to Joel’s truck,

where he tries the driver-side door handle, but it’s locked.
So are all the others. Same with Britta’s mini-van.
SCOTT
Crap.
He wonders what to do. It’s stopped snowing and the moon is

big and bright.
He looks at the distant twinkling city, then starts trudging

down the snowy mountain track, looking back at the cabins and
flipping his middle finger at them.
He’s soon passing giant trees, silhouetted against the night

sky. They’re stunning, but more than a little spooky.
CUT TO:
A STALKER’S POV watching him from the pitch-dark shadows.
CUT TO:
Scott picking up the pace, until he hears a WOLF HOWLING.
Scott stops in his tracks - tense. A second WOLF HOWLS.
Scott runs back to the Retreat, scratching his designer case

as he drags it behind him, but he’s running for his life.
Scott hurries inside, out of breath, and props his case up

against the door for security. The noise makes Susanna jump.
SCOTT
It’s only me!
ALESSA O.S.
That’s probably why she’s
screaming!
37 INT. FRANKIE AND ALESSA'S CABIN - NIGHT 37
Alessa and Frankie giggle in bed. They hear...
SUSANNA O.S.
Where the hell have you been?
26.
SCOTT
I got lost in the woods.
SUSANNA
What were you doing there? And why
are you so out of breath?
SCOTT
‘cause there were fucking wolves!
39 INT. SEBASTIAN AND LAURA’S CABIN - NIGHT 39
SEBASTIAN
(calls out)
How do you know they were fucking?
SCOTT O.S.
(yells back)
Oh shut-up!
Sebastian and Laura laugh in bed.
Scott uses his iPhone torch to look at his Apple Watch.
SCOTT
Jesus! My heart rate!
SUSANNA
Then stop checking it every minute.
It always goes up when you look.
SCOTT
How would I know that if I didn’t
look? I could have been eaten alive
out there! Or worse.
SUSANNA
What’d be worse, being eaten alive
without being allowed to check your
emails first?
Scott pulls a face and lies down, but as he closes his eyes,
he’s annoyed by rhythmic banging on a bedhead from another
cabin, accompanied by increasingly passionate groans.
SUSANNA
The hell’s that?
SCOTT
What’s it sound like? You obviously
don’t remember. Or do you?
(MORE)
27.
SCOTT (CONT'D)
What were you thinking gyrating all
over that kid by the fire?
SUSANNA
I was dancing. Go to sleep. For a
year or two!
She pulls her pillow over her head.
41 EXT. MOUNTAINS - MORNING 41
It’s snowing really hard. There are huge overnight drifts.
42 INT. MAIN HALL - “THE PERFECT ESCAPE” HOTEL - MORNING 42
Everyone, including Scott, sits before Joel and Britta.
BRITTA
Good morning. Well, since we’re all
stuck inside thanks to the storm,
we thought it’d be fun to play a
little game. It might help anyone’s
who’s stuck in any other way.
Scott doesn’t like the way she looks at him first.
BRITTA
The weather’s a fact we have to
face. One of many. Can we do that?
JOEL
Let’s see. You all know Facebook,
now try this...
He turns his FLIP-CHART page, revealing the words “Face-it-

Book”.
JOEL
If we’re going to live in harmony
in this limited space we call
Earth, we have to accept our
differences.
SCOTT
(aside to Susanna)
Unless you go hide up a mountain...
SUSANNA
Ssshh.
BRITTA
It’s okay. Like I said, honesty is
important. So let’s start with the
easy bit: what don’t we like in
life?
28.
SCOTT
Group therapy.
Susanna feels embarrassed by him.
BRITTA
Don’t worry. This isn’t therapy,
it’s just a fun exercise.
JOEL
What does anyone else not like?
FRANKIE
Slow internet.
SUSANNA
Cold callers.
ALESSA
Junk mail.
LAURA
Litter. And people not recycling.
SEBASTIAN
People talking forever about how
busy there are.
ALESSA
Exactly. Good one.
SUSANNA
The way men need praise for doing
even the tiniest bit of housework.
Britta laughs. Scott rolls his eyes.
JOEL
Scott, come on, there must be
something else that annoys you.
SCOTT
Fine. People clicking their goddam
pens in meetings. And putting their
bags on spare seats on the train.
And the “tish-tish” of headphones.
And novelty ringtones. And people
texting “LOL”... And all that WOKE
bullshit. You know I heard some
schools might stop using the terms
“Boy” and “Girl” because of some
stupid gender stereo-typing thing,
so instead of boy you’d have to say
“Child with penis”.
Sebastian sniggers - until Laura gives him a look.

29.
SCOTT
Gimme a break. Are we supposed to
rewrite every song title? Is
Beyonce supposed to sing “If I were
a child with penis”? This whole
politically correct thing’s gone
way too far.
JOEL
Anything else?
SCOTT
Yeah, people using toothpicks in
restaurants, and taking up both
armrests in the cinema, and posting
meaningless crap online like “I
just cooked pasta”. Who gives a
shit? They expect a medal?
BRITTA
Okay. Well we only have a few days
together, so I’m going to stop you
right there.
JOEL
Now comes the harder part...
What don’t we like about ourselves?
None of the guests looks particularly comfortable with this.
BRITTA
If you’d prefer, we can do this one
on one.
Scott gets up and leaves.
BRITTA
It was just a thought. Nothing’s
compulsory.
JOEL
But you know where we are if you
change your minds.
43 INT. SAUNA - DAY 43
Laura’s inside with Sebastian.
LAURA
Did you know this trip was gonna
involve therapy?
SEBASTIAN
No, well, yeah, I knew they had
Life Coaching, but that’s just
about getting advice.
30.
LAURA
You think I need advice about going
to work abroad, don’t you? You want
me to talk to someone.
SEBASTIAN
Up to you. Totally.
Laura’s not sure he means that.
SEBASTIAN
You want some tea?
LAURA
Thanks.
SEBASTIAN
I’ll be right back.
44 INT. KITCHEN AREA - DAY 44
Alessa’s making coffee for herself and Frankie.
ALESSA
Do you think we’re stuck?
FRANKIE
No, not really. I mean, every
couple has things they want to do
differently.
ALESSA
(surprised)
I was talking about the weather.
FRANKIE
(caught out)
Oh, yeah, right.
She looks out the window. It’s still snowing like mad.
FRANKIE
Still looks like a problem.
ALESSA
You obviously think we’ve got some
too.
She gives her a questioning look. Frankie feels awkward.
ALESSA
What is it? Have you met someone
else?
FRANKIE
No.
31.
ALESSA
You kept looking at Little Miss Eco
in yoga. And when we were dancing.
FRANKIE
I thought she looked sad.
Alessa’s not convinced that’s the only reason.
ALESSA
Is this ‘cause I said I wanted to
be the biological mum?
FRANKIE
No.
ALESSA
You know an IVF clinic will never
inseminate us together because they
say it’s unnatural we’d both be
pregnant at the same time.
FRANKIE
Like IVF isn’t unnatural.
ALESSA
Well we’re hardly likely to find a
real guy who’d get us both pregnant
at the same time.
CUT TO:
Sebastian, bare-chested and sweaty from the sauna, a towel

wrapped round his lower half - flipflops on his feet.
45 INT. RECEPTION AREA - “THE PERFECT ESCAPE” HOTEL - DAY 45
Sebastian hurries past Britta at the reception desk.
BRITTA
You okay?
SEBASTIAN
Fine. Just gonna make some tea.
BRITTA
Kitchen’s the other way.
SEBASTIAN
I know, but Laura will only drink
the leaves she brought with her.
Britta smiles, making no judgement.

32.
BRITTA
Listen, on your way back, can you
bring your passports? We forgot to
make a copy when you arrived.
SEBASTIAN
Sure.
46 INT. SCOTT & SUSANNA'S CABIN - DAY 46
Scott’s glued to his laptop.
Susanna’s staring out at the storm, feeling frustrated.
SUSANNA
God, it’s cold.
She goes to the wardrobe and opens Scott’s case.
SCOTT
What are you doing? That’s my case.
SUSANNA
Don’t tell me you didn’t bring an
extra sweater.
Out fall his many boxes of condoms.
SUSANNA
Ohmigod! Were you planning an orgy?
SCOTT
There was a deal. They’re cheaper
if you buy them in bulk.
Susanna sees another large box in his suitcase.
SUSANNA
And what’s in there? Viagra?
SCOTT
My decaf espresso capsules.
SUSANNA
Ah, right, life’s basic essentials.
SCOTT
Can you believe this place doesn’t
have a Nespresso machine?
SUSANNA
(sarcastic)
They don’t? That’s so weird. You
hear so many stories about mountain
folk and their prowess at making
lattes.
33.
She finds a jumper of his.
SUSANNA
Can I borrow this?
SCOTT
Help yourself. I guess you imagined
the trip would get so hot and
steamy you wouldn’t need one.
Susanna doesn’t answer. But as she puts on his sweater, she

notices a little pink gift bag in his case.
She checks Scott’s looking at his laptop and peeks inside.
HER POV of a box of “Rose” perfume by Chloe.
She wishes she hadn’t looked.
SCOTT
You know what? Why don’t I check
out your case and see how you like
it?
SUSANNA
I’m sorry, are we in kindergarten?
But Scott leaps off the bed, pushes past her and yanks her
case off the shelf, spilling some of the contents.
SCOTT
Oh my...
He holds up a piece of her sexy new lingerie.
SCOTT
How come you never wore stuff like
that for me?
SUSANNA
(heartfelt)
Because I didn’t need to. You used
to find me attractive.
Scott doesn’t say anything. He knows she’s right.
But he sees the book that fell out too.
HIS POV of “Mating in Captivity” by Esther Perel.
SCOTT
“Mating in Captivity”? What were
you planning? To screw a guy in the
zoo?
SUSANNA
No. And who said it had to be a
guy?
34.
That floors him.
47 INT. CORRIDOR - “THE PERFECT ESCAPE” HOTEL - DAY 47
As Frankie walks along, alone, carrying a mug of coffee, she

sees the sign for “Sauna” and heads that way.
Laura’s alone, lying down topless, her eyes closed. She

doesn’t see Frankie looking in through the window.
Frankie can’t resist taking a sneak photo on her phone.
49 EXT. SEBASTIAN AND LAURA'S CABIN - DAY 49
Sebastian hurries back through the snow towards the main

building, carrying a tin of tea leaves and two passports. He
just has a T-shirt on and his towel wrapped round him below.
50 INT. RECEPTION AREA - DAY 50
Alessa’s studying a map of Ski Trails. The wind from outside

ruffles them as Sebastian walks in from outside.
SEBASTIAN
Sorry.
ALESSA
What have you been doing? Rolling
around in the snow?
SEBASTIAN
No. But I might if they fire up
that hot tub again.
He looks at the ski run map too.
SEBASTIAN
Nice.
ALESSA
You a boarder or a planker?
SEBASTIAN
Both. You?
ALESSA
Same. You any good?
SEBASTIAN
Depends who I’m up against.
35.
JOEL O.S.
You two planning a race?
He joins them.
JOEL
The forecast says we’re due for a
bluebird tomorrow. Storm’ll be gone
tonight.
ALESSA
(to Sebastian)
Bring it on. Don’t worry, I’ll go
gently.
Sebastian smiles his winning smile.
JOEL
Can I just photocopy those?
He points to the passports.
SEBASTIAN
Sure.
He hands them over. Joel opens the first one, Sebastian’s.
JOEL
Huh, born October 8th. So you’re a
Libra. Just like me.
Alessa’s ears prick up. Two more Libras right beside her.
51 EXT. MOUNTAINS - DAY 51
Clear blue sky, sun glistening on the snow. ALl four young
characters ski and snowboard. Alessa is determined to
overtake Sebastian.
She does. She races to the bottom of the challenging slope

before everyone else and holds up her arms in triumph.
SEBASTIAN
(joining her)
Whoa. Not bad. Bet you couldn’t
beat me if I was going full speed.
ALESSA
Ha ha. Try me.
CUT TO:
Laura seeing them laughing together and trying to ski faster

herself to join them, but she crashes onto the icy ground.
LAURA
Ow!
36.
She clutches her ankle in pain.
Frankie is first to reach her.
FRANKIE
Ohmigod, are you okay? Let me see.
She tenderly feels around Laura’s bare ankle and calf.
As she does, their eyes meet.
CUT TO:
Alessa, who’s not feeling quite so triumphant now as she sees

Frankie gently rubbing Laura’s leg.
Sebastian feels a little concerned too.
FRANKIE
(to Laura)
Sure you haven’t broken anything?
LAURA
Yeah. Well, maybe just a few
promises.
FRANKIE
Wanna talk about it?
LAURA
Not really. But thanks.
I’m not crying about that anyway.
FRANKIE
Then what is it?
Laura takes a moment to answer.
LAURA
I know everyone thinks I’m
obsessed, but if our generation
doesn’t save the planet, who will?
Besides, that’s my thing. If I
didn’t have that, what would I
have? But Seb, he could get any
girl he wants.
FRANKIE
Not if they’re gay.
Come here.
She hugs her - which is what Alessa and Sebastian see as they
hurry back up the slope.
FRANKIE
(to Laura)
I totally get it about needing your
thing. If I didn’t have my Insta...
37.
SEBASTIAN
You okay, babe?
ALESSA
Want me to take a look? I’m our
school First-Aider.
LAURA
No. It’s okay. I just need some
space. Which reminds me, why do
you wanna have kids? Don’t you
think the planet’s overcrowded
enough as it is?
ALESSA
Right, with too many people telling
everyone else how to behave. Let me
tell you, nobody appreciates being
given unsolicited advice.
LAURA
Says the wise-ass giving advice.
ALESSA
Excuse me? Whose side are you on?
SEBASTIAN
Guys! Chill out! She’s hurt!
52 EXT. “THE PERFECT ESCAPE” - DAY 52
Scott’s on his phone, tense.
SCOTT
(into phone)
Yes, of course I brought my laptop
and I’ll call the client. I’m on
it. Fine. Bye.
He hangs up, exasperated, then sees Sebastian supporting

Laura as she limps towards the building.
SCOTT
She okay? What happened?
LAURA
I fell. It was icy.
SCOTT
Here. Take the weight off.
He offers his seat and helps Sebastian lower her onto it.
SCOTT
Mind if I take a look? I did pre-
med in college.
38.
Laura shakes her head.
Scott gently feels her leg.
SCOTT
Good. Wiggle your toes. Now circle.
She does.
SCOTT
It’s just a sprain, but I know they
can hurt like hell. I’ll try and
find some ice.
SEBASTIAN
I can go. Be right back.
He leaves.
SCOTT
I’ve got a little something that
might cheer you up. Stay there.
He hurries round the side of the building.
53 INT. HALLWAY - “THE PERFECT ESCAPE” - DAY 53
Joel’s standing close to Susanna, pointing out details on a

mountain trail map.
JOEL
The walks are color-coded like the
ski runs. Black routes are the most
challenging, then red...
SUSANNA
Which are the most picturesque?
JOEL
The slow ones. Just like in life.
You stop rushing around, you
appreciate a whole lot more along
the way.
SUSANNA
Isn’t that the truth...
Sebastian appears.
SEBASTIAN
Hi. Sorry to interrupt. Do you have
any ice?
JOEL
Sure. Follow me.
(to Susanna)
Catch you later.
39.
She smiles, fondly, and walks toward the front of the

building. And, as she does, she sees Scott through the
window, handing Laura the gift bag she saw in his suitcase.
Laura reaches into it and gives her the “Rose” perfume.
Susanna immediately jumps to the wrong conclusion and storms

away.
If she’d stayed, she’d have seen Sebastian return with a

Champagne bucket of full of ice and a tea towel.
54 EXT. “THE PERFECT ESCAPE” HOTEL - DAY 54
Laura show Sebastian the perfume.
LAURA
Look what I got. I should pull a
muscle more often.
SCOTT
It’s nothing. We had a spare.
SEBASTIAN
(slightly surprised)
Thanks.
SCOTT
You’re welcome.
He pours all the ice cubes into the tea towel.
SCOTT
(to Sebastian)
Right, you wrap those up tight and
keep it on her leg. I’ll go get
some more.
55 INT. DINING AREA - DAY 55
Susanna’s having a cup of coffee on her own, looking at a

print-out of the hiking trails.
She sees Scott at the far end, in the kitchen area, putting
ice in the Champagne bucket.
Once again, she jumps to the wrong conclusion, but says

nothing.
56 EXT. MOUNTAINS - AFTERNOON 56
Things are a icy between Alessa and Frankie too as they walk
back to the hotel.
40.
ALESSA
I didn’t like the way you were
stroking her leg. And what was all
that about: “If I didn’t have my
Insta account?”
FRANKIE
Nothing. We were just talking.
ALESSA
You and your Goddam followers.
Why’d you need thousands of people
you’ve never met to like you? I
like you and I’m right here.
FRANKIE
I know. I was just trying to make
her feel better. Shoot me.
CUT TO:
CU - a framed tapestry picture, which looks pretty and

traditional, but contains the wise words: “Treat others the
way you’d like to be treated yourself. Unless they’re dicks.”
It’s on the wall in...
57 INT. RELAXATION ROOM - "THE PERFECT ESCAPE" HOTEL - DAY 57
Britta’s doing some paperwork at her desk, when there’s a

gentle knock at her door.
BRITTA
It’s open. As I am...
In walks a slightly sheepish Frankie.
FRANKIE
Hi. Do you have a minute?
58 IN. SEBASTIAN AND LAURA'S CABIN - DAY 58
Sebastian helps Laura onto the bed.
SEBASTIAN
You want some more tea?
LAURA
No, I’m gonna rest for a bit.
SEBASTIAN
Good idea. I might hit the sauna
again. It was cold out there.
41.
BRITTA
(to Frankie)
Tell me more about you.
FRANKIE
Oh, just take a look at my Insta.
CUT TO:
A QUICK MONTAGE of photos on Frankie’s phone - of beautiful

food, decor, cafes, and of her and Alessa in happy selfies,
dancing, clubbing, etc., all looking perfect.
BRITTA
Isn’t it exhausting? Making
everything look so perfect? What
would happen if you showed people
what life’s really like?
FRANKIE
Are you kidding? I’d lose a
gazillion “Likes”. Do you ever see
Gwyneth having a bad day?
BRITTA
No, but then I’ve never stuck a
candle up my vagina...
FRANKIE
She doesn’t do that! I told you.
BRITTA
Did your parents insist on
everything looking perfect?
FRANKIE O.S.
No way. They’re the reason I want
everything perfect.
CUT TO:
A quick Montage of photos of Frankie’s parents wearing

occasion-themed clothes, like dressing up as Easter Bunnies
or tacky Halloween monsters, with pets in matching outfits.
CUT TO:
Britta handing the phone back to Frankie.
BRITTA
Wow, they’re certainly in touch
with their inner child.
Frankie looks serious.

42.
BRITTA
Alessa tells me you two are hoping
to have kids.
FRANKIE
Right. One day. But not yet. Please
don’t tell her I said that.
BRITTA
I find it interesting that you
brought a light to improve your
photos, but you’re keeping your
partner in the dark.
Alessa’s stretched out in her bikini. Sebastian enters.
SEBASTIAN
Sorry, did I disturb you?
ALESSA
No, you’d only do that if you beat
me on the slopes.
SEBASTIAN
Oh, there’s plenty of time for
that.
ALESSA
Come on in.
Sebastian joins her, but at a respectable distance.
ALESSA
How’s her leg?
SEBASTIAN
Getting there, thanks. That guy
Scott had a look and said it was
just a sprain. I thought he was a
bit of a jerk at first, but he’s
okay. He even gave her some perfume
to cheer her up. “Rose”. Wasn’t
that the name of the woman he
thought he was meeting?
ALESSA
Yeah. I think so. Look, I’m sorry
if it got a bit tense back there.
Laura seemed pretty outspoken about
the idea of anyone having kids.
SEBASTIAN
She has pretty strong views on
justabout everything these days.
43.
A beat. Then Alessa can’t resist asking...
ALESSA
How do you feel about having kids?
SEBASTIAN
Oh, never really thought about it.
My sister has two boys. They’re
cool. Feral, but fun.
Alessa smiles, then stretches out on her bench and closes her
eyes.
Sebastian doesn’t look immediately, but can’t ignore the fact

that Alessa’s in seriously good shape.
He can’t help getting a boner under his towel.
CUT TO:
CU - Alessa’s eyes. They’re not fully shut.
HER POV through half-shut eyes watching Sebastian shift his

sitting position so his boner doesn’t show.
Alessa can’t help smiling a little.
BEEP! Sebastian’s watch alert sounds. Alessa opens her eyes.
ALESSA
What’s that? You need watering
again?
SEBASTIAN
Sorry. She worries about
everything, even me getting
thirsty! It’s exhausting.
ALESSA
Here.
She reaches down for her big bottle of water, making a point
of showing plenty of cleavage as she does.
ALESSA
Help yourself.
Sebastian keeps one hand firmly covering his groin area as

Alessa hands him the bottle.
SEBASTIAN
Thanks.
He takes a swig.
ALESSA
Was she always a bit obsessive?
44.
SEBASTIAN
No. It’s since she accepted this
job on the other side of the world.
ALESSA
I often see parents who think
changing schools will solve all
their kids’ issues. It doesn’t.
It’s just new location, same
problems. Unless you face them.
She can see Sebastian’s feeling anxious.
ALESSA
You okay?
She puts a comforting hand on his leg.
SEBASTIAN
Yeah, fine. Let’s talk about
something else. Tell me about
teaching. I might go into that.
Alessa removes her hand from his leg.
SEBASTIAN
Is it all give and no take?
ALESSA
God no. I learn a lot. Teach enough
ten year-olds and you’ll soon be
able to break into anyone’s devices
and remove parental controls.
Sebastian laughs. They share a fond smile, which precipitates

his placing his hands over his lap area again.
61 EXT. “THE PERFECT ESCAPE" HOTEL - EVENING 61
No sunset tonight. Just storm clouds gathering.
62 INT. SCOTT & SUSANNA'S CABIN - EVENING 62
Susanna’s half-heartedly swiping through pictures of guys on

TINDER on her phone, but not finding anyone interesting. So
she picks up her book “Mating in Captivity”.
Scott walks in.
SCOTT
Still looking for a mate?
SUSANNA
Have a nice glass of Champagne with
your new friend?
45.
SCOTT
What?
SUSANNA
I saw you with that bucket of ice.
SCOTT
Oh for Christsakes. She’d hurt her
leg. It was inflamed.
SUSANNA
She need the perfume for her leg
too? Had it gone gangrenous and
started to smell?
SCOTT
She was upset. I thought it would
cheer her up.
Susanna huffs.
SCOTT
Oh come on, you’ve got more perfume
than most department stores.
SUSANNA
And you’ve brought more condoms.
Scott rolls his eyes, exasperated.
SCOTT
You know what my perfect escape
would be? A few days away from you
criticising me.
SUSANNA
Go home then. What’s stopping you?
SCOTT
Oh, nothing much, just the
impassable roads and the sub-zero
temperatures. And the wolves...
Scott slumps back on the bed and stares at the ceiling.
SCOTT
You wrote on your profile that you
were thirty-six.
SUSANNA
(genuinely regretful)
I was once.
She picks up her cellphone again.
CUT TO:
46.
CU - the phone screen as she scrolls through beautiful

pictures of herself when she was younger.
SUSANNA
I need a drink.
SCOTT
So much for the New Year’s
Resolution.
Susanna ignores him and grabs her ski jacket.
63 EXT. SCOTT & SUSANNAH'S CABIN - NIGHT 63
As Susanna walks away into the driving snow, she sees Frankie
knocking on Laura’s cabin door.
FRANKIE
I’m just gonna see how she is.
LAURA O.S.
Come in.
Susanna glimpses Laura lying on the bed as Frankie goes

inside.
64 INT. DINING AREA - EVENING 64
Britta and Joel are tidying up. Susanna arrives.
BRITTA
Hi.
SUSANNA
Am I too late for a drink?
JOEL
Absolutely not. What can I get you?
SUSANNA
Do you have any brandy?
JOEL
Ah, a woman after my own heart.
Britta’s not quite sure what he means by that.
As Joel opens a cupboard full of drinks bottles...
BRITTA
I’m just going to turn up the
boiler - feels colder tonight.
CUT TO:
47.
Joel and Susanna together at a table in the otherwise empty

dining area, sharing glasses of brandy.
JOEL
Tell me. Where did you and Scott
meet?
SUSANNA
Dancing.
JOEL
Really?
He imagines...
65 INT. STAGE - NIGHT 65
Scott, spotlit, as a male ballet dancer earnestly striking a

dramatic pose - his private parts bulging under his white
tights.
SUSANNA
(to Joel)
Not that kind of dancing - at a
club.
67 INT. 1990’S CLUB - NIGHT 67
SCOTT & SUSANNA IN THE 1990’s dance to a pop song, with their
funny 90’s hair and clothes - having a blast.
SUSANNA
(to Joel)
He wasn’t always an asshole. It’s
only been for the last ten years.
JOEL
Did something happen ten years ago?
SUSANNA
Um, it’s probably more a case of
what didn’t happen.
CUT TO:
Britta on all fours, crawling quietly back into the kitchen

area and crouching down behind the units, so Joel and Susanna
can’t see her as she listens to them talking.
48.
JOEL O.S.
They’re not easy are they,
relationships? But who appreciates
anything that comes easy?
SUSANNA O.S.
I don’t know, people nowadays get
upset if they can’t download
everything in a second. God, I’m
sounding like a grumpy old woman.
JOEL O.S.
You don’t look like one.
Britta feel slightly bothered hearing this.
69 INT. HALLWAY BY DINING AREA - EVENING 69
Sebastian and Alessa approach.
SEBASTIAN
I don’t know if they’re still
serving, but we can try.
They round the corner and see Britta crouching down behind
the kitchen units - and share a puzzled look.
ALESSA
Perhaps she’s lost something?
CUT TO:
Joel looking very happy refilling Susanna’s glass.
SEBASTIAN O.S.
Are you okay?
BRITTA O.S.
Fine. Looking for my earring.
Susanna and Joel see Sebastian and Alessa duck down behind
the kitchen units too.
JOEL
Britta?
(to Susanna)
Excuse me.
He hurries over and sees Britta, Sebastian and Alessa all

searching the floor area for the missing earring.
SUSANNA
Can I help?
BRITTA
Found it!
49.
She gets up, holding the earring in her hand.
ALESSA
Where’s the other one? You’re only
wearing one.
BRITTA
Oh, in my room. I er lost this one
this morning.
Joel doesn’t look that convinced.
70 EXT. “THE PERFECT ESCAPE" HOTEL - NIGHT 70
It’s virtually a blizzard now. Sebastian walks back to the

cabins with Alessa and Susanna.
ALESSA
Okay, this is me. See you tomorrow.
SEBASTIAN
Night.
SUSANNA
Sweet dreams.
Alessa steps inside, surprised to find the cabin empty.
ALESSA
Frankie?
No reply.
She checks the bathroom. That’s dark and empty too.
The main door opens and in walks Frankie.
ALESSA
Where’ve you been?
FRANKIE
Nowhere. Been working on my blog.
Then I thought someone should check
in on Laura. Leg’s much better.
ALESSA
Good.
Frankie takes off her coat and plugs her phone into the
charger.
ALESSA
Are we okay?
50.
FRANKIE
Sure. Of course.
ALESSA
Then give me a hug.
She goes for one without waiting.
As she does, she smells something unusual.
ALESSA
Why’d you smell of roses?
FRANKIE
Do I? Oh yeah, she had a scented
candle.
ALESSA
It’s freezing. Let’s get to bed.
FRANKIE
I’m just gonna have a shower.
Alessa doesn’t say any more.
But she waits till Frankie’s gone into the bathroom, and
heard the shower running, then hurries to Frankie’s phone.
ALESSA
(to herself)
Thank you, Year 9.
Within seconds she’s figured out the password to the phone.
The first thing she checks is the PHOTOS icon...
The last photo taken is Laura in the sauna.
Alessa looks alarmed. She checks earlier photos.
Nothing else incriminating or suspicious.
So she checks the MESSAGES icon...
ALESSA
(to herself)
What the..?!
CU - the text message “Wanna meet in person?”
ALESSA
(to herself)
Bitch. Why do I always think it’ll
be easier with a woman?
She starts scrolling through other texts.

51.
72 INT. BATHROOM - FRANKIE & ALESSA’S CABIN - NIGHT 72
Frankie steps out of the shower, wraps a towel round herself

and opens the door to...
Frankie sees Alessa standing by the table with her phone and
charger on it, but the phone’s plugged in.
FRANKIE
What are you doing?
ALESSA
I was coming to join you in the
shower.
FRANKIE
Oh, no, I’m sorry. I’m really
tired.
Alessa’s upset, and suspicious, but doesn’t accuse her of

anything. Yet.
As Frankie puts on her pyjama trousers and T-shirt and gets

into bed, Alessa says...
ALESSA
Did you know Joel’s a Libra too? He
has such a calm manner, plus you’ve
seen him in Yoga - he’s super
flexible.
FRANKIE
Yeah, but sperm his age could be
getting its pension.
Alessa’s disappointed by Frankie’s lack of enthusiasm.
74 INT. JOEL AND BRITTA'S BEDROOM - NIGHT 74
Joel does some Tai Chi, but it’s not relaxing him. Britta’s
in bed, reading Freud’s “The Interpretation of Dreams”.
JOEL
Why are this bunch all so serious?
BRITTA
They have issues.
JOEL
(annoyed)
Other people find it relaxing
here... Do think that Scott guy’s
ever relaxed? He’s really starting
to bug me.
52.
His previously slow, peaceful Tai Chi moves suddenly go

faster - with a real sense of attack. Britta comments...
BRITTA
Why are you taking his seriousness
so seriously?
JOEL
I’m just thinking of his poor wife.
BRITTA
Yes, I’m sure you are.
75 INT. SCOTT & SUSANNAH'S CABIN - NIGHT 75
Semi-dark. Susanna and Scott lie apart in bed. She pulls the
duvet over her and, inevitably, off Scott.
SCOTT
Hey.
SUSANNA
I’m cold.
SCOTT
In so many ways.
You could cut the tension with a knife.
Joel still looks agitated as he tries Tai Chi.
BRITTA
Have you had your micro-dose today?
JOEL
Not yet.
BRITTA
Then, I think that would be a very
good idea, don’t you..?
Joel goes to his bedside drawer.
CUT TO:
CU a box inside with the logo “Magic Mushroom Market”.
77 INT. SEBASTIAN AND LAURA'S CABIN - NIGHT 77
Sebastian and Laura are fast asleep.
Laura opens her eyes, checks Sebastian’s asleep and sneaks

outside.
53.
78 INT. SAUNA - NIGHT 78
Laura and Frankie start making out.
But they hear a door open.
Worried, laura starts fading away, literally vanishing.
79 EXT. “THE PERFECT ESCAPE" HOTEL - MORNING 79
Heavy snowdrifts everywhere.
Anxious Laura sits opposite Britta.
BRITTA
Do you worry about disappearing
from Sebastian’s life by working
abroad?
LAURA
Um, no, I don’t think so.
BRITTA
So he’s not “the one”? You think
there plenty more fish in the sea?
LAURA
There won’t be soon, because it’ll
be full of plastic.
BRITTA
Not if you can help it, I’m sure.
LAURA
Maybe my dream’s about the
rainforests disappearing. And
different species.
BRITTA
I wonder if it’s more about there
being a side of you you don’t want
other people to see.
Laura looks serious and almost blushes.
81 INT. YOGA STUDIO - "THE PERFECT ESCAPE" HOTEL - DAY 81
Everyone’s holding a blank pad of paper and a pen. Joel and

Britta stand by a big FLIP-CHART.
54.
BRITTA
Sometimes we just have to let
things go. Not always easy.
But this may help.
JOEL
Y’all seen that movie with Jack
Nicholson--
SCOTT
(interrupting)
What “The Shining”? I bet they
filmed that here.
JOEL
“The Bucket List”.
BRITTA
With Morgan Freeman. Two old guys
wrote a list of all the things
they’d like to do before they die.
JOEL
Well we have a variation.
She unveils the top page of the Flip-Chart to reveal the

words “The Fuck-it List”.
BRITTA JOEL
The Fuck-it List! The Fuck-it List!
Most of the others h laugh, intrigued.
JOEL
We all have too much “stuff” in our
lives, stuff we could do without.
BRITTA
(looking at Scott)
Like a boss who’s a pain in the
ass.
(looking at Frankie)
Or worrying what our followers will
think.
JOEL
(looking at Laura)
Or thinking everything’s the end of
the world.
BRITTA
So make a list of all the things
you could happily do without.
Susanna is the first to start writing.
CU: her writing the word “Scott”.

55.
But a moment later she adds a question mark after it.
CUT TO:
QUICK MONTAGE of close-ups of different characters writing

more things on their Fuck-it Lists. For instance:
Scott writes “Having some old stoner tell me what to do”.
Susanna writes: “Having to dye my roots”
Alessa writes: “Parents’ evenings”.
CUT TO:
Frankie glancing at Alessa, wondering, then at Laura, who’s

looking at Sebastian and wondering too.
CUT TO:
Glasses of wine and beers being poured.
82 INT. KITCHEN AREA - DAY 82
SCOTT
(to Susanna)
So what did you write on your list?
SUSANNA
Oh, this and that.
SCOTT
I’ll show you mine if you show me
yours.
SUSANNA
No thanks. That’s what you said on
our third date!
She grabs a glass of wine and walks away. As she does, she’s
stopped by Alessa.
ALESSA
Hi. Can we talk?
83 INT. DINING AREA - "THE PERFECT ESCAPE" HOTEL - DAY 83
Alessa and Susanna are out of earshot of the others.
ALESSA
I’m not suggesting your husband
meant it as anything more than a
gift when Laura hurt her leg, but I
smelt that perfume on my
girlfriend.
56.
SUSANNA
You think Scott’s having a thing
with Frankie?
ALESSA
No, I think Laura might be.
Susanna’s a little surprised, but her first thought is...
SUSANNA
Oh no, poor Sebastian.
(a beat)
And poor you.
Alessa shrugs.
SUSANNA
Maybe they were just fooling
around? Having a laugh?
ALESSA
Oh no. I know Frankie.
We hear everyone laughing - slightly strangely.
84 INT. YOGA STUDIO - "THE PERFECT ESCAPE" HOTEL - DAY 84
Britta and Joel conduct a Laughter Therapy class.
BRITTA
Okay, this is a classic Laughter
Yoga exercise... Arms to the sky.
Everyone tries this, except Scott, who looks weary.
BRITTA
Heads back. Chins raised.
Everyone but Scott complies.
BRITTA
Now laugh direct from your heart.
This produces some funny and bizarre laughs, which in turn

make those open to it laugh genuinely.
JOEL
Now to engage both the left and
right sides of your brains swing
your arms from side to side...
Nearly everybody does.
JOEL
...while chanting “Ho ho ho, Ha ha
ha”. Everyone...
57.
EVERYONE
(in unison)
Ho ho ho. Ha Ha Ha.
It’s bizarre.
SCOTT
Jesus wept. Please give me
something less annoying, like a tax
return.
JOEL
Okay, last one. You’ll like this
one, Scott. It’s about voicing our
discontent. But no words, just
laughter.
BRITTA
Though you can make gestures, like
pointing, but no hitting! One, two,
three...
This causes a bizarre moment, with Susanna immediately

wagging her finger at Scott, Alessa at Frankie and Sebastian
at Laura - with none of them being able to laugh at all.
BRITTA
Well that went down like a lead
balloon.
JOEL
It’s okay. It takes time.
He smiles and leaves.
SUSANNA
(to Britta)
He’s so relaxed. How’s he do it?
Meditation? Mindfulness?
BRITTA
That and a few little herbal
helpers...
ANGLE ON: Scott’s ears pricking up when he hears this.
85 EXT. HOT TUB - “THE PERFECT ESCAPE" HOTEL - LATE AFTERNOON 85
It’s not snowing now. Scott’s alone in the outdoor hot tub,
trying to relax.
Sebastian approaches.
SEBASTIAN
Hi. Mind if I join?
58.
SCOTT
Go ahead.
Sebastian climbs in and leans back.
SEBASTIAN
Oh God, that’s good.
SCOTT
How’s Laura’s leg?
SEBASTIAN
Better, I guess, though she still
seems pretty tense. Been like it
ever since she decided to go save
the turtle. She won’t let up.
I thought my dad was strict.
86 EXT. ARMY BARRACKS - DAY 86
A severe DRILL SERGEANT stares right in the faces of YOUNG

SOLDIERS he’s inspecting. None of them looks more anxious
than SEBASTIAN, now dressed as a soldier.
The Drill Sergeant turns into Laura in uniform, yelling...
“SERGEANT” LAURA
Don’t you care about the
rainforests?
Frightened soldier Sebastian nods.
SEBASTIAN AS SOLDIER
Yes, sir.
LAURA
Then how-come I saw you eating beef
instead of Tofu?
Sebastian looks guilty.
87 EXT. HOT TUB - “THE PERFECT ESCAPE" HOTEL - LATE AFTERNOON 87
Back in the hot tub...
SCOTT
How often d’you have dreams like
that?
SEBASTIAN
Too often lately.
(a beat)
How are you and “Mrs Scott” doing?
59.
SCOTT
You know what’s weird? We got on
just fine online, when we had no
idea who the other one was. Most
probably ‘cause we didn’t go over
the usual shit.
SEBASTIAN
Is this place helping any?
SCOTT
It’s not helping me, but she’s more
open to all that happy-clappy crap.
SEBASTIAN
That’s it, you have to keep an open
mind.
(off Scott’s look)
I’m kidding. God knows what it’d
take to get Laura to lighten up.
SCOTT
I may have an idea. But you’ll have
to distract old man “Moses”.
Sebastian looks intrigued.
88 INT. KITCHEN AREA - “THE PERFECT ESCAPE HOTEL” - EVENING 88
Joel and Britta watch the others preparing dinner.
BRITTA
You see, the way people do one
thing is how they do everything.
Frankie’s arranging salad ingredients meticulously, then

photographing them.
Nearby, Alessa notices Sebastian chopping vegetables up

fairly fast. So she tries chopping hers even faster.
Laura’s washing vegetables meticulously.
Scott gives Sebastian a discreet nod.
Sebastian gives him a secret thumbs up, then says to Laura...
SEBASTIAN
Hey, I was thinking, given that one
day you’ll want our own Eco home,
why don’t we ask Joel to tell us
how they built this place? We could
start with the greenhouse. I’d love
to grow my own Kale.
60.
LAURA
Really?
CUT TO:
As she sees Joel lead Sebastian and Laura outside...
FRANKIE
(aside to Alessa)
I don’t see those two lasting long.
ALESSA
Why not? Because things don’t look
perfect all the time?
Alessa walks out.
While Britta’s setting the dining table, Scott sidles over to

Susanna for a quiet word...
SCOTT
You know, when we first got here, I
remember Joel describing this place
as their “baby”. It got me
thinking, what if they don’t have
kids?
Susanna wonders.
SCOTT
Maybe that’s why they put so much
time into mentoring their guests.
But who’s looking after them? Who
gives them a shoulder to cry on?
SUSANNA
Where’s this coming from?
SCOTT
I don’t know. I just thought maybe
Britta needed someone to talk to.
And you’re such a good listener...
Susanna is almost flattered, until he adds...
SCOTT
...unless it’s listening to me. By
the way, I heard you told someone
I’ve been a pain the ass for ten
years. That’s unfair. It’s only
been five.
SUSANNA
Ha ha.
SCOTT
I’m serious. Now would be a good
time.
61.
Susanna looks over at Britta, then back at Scott.
SUSANNA
Good idea.
Scott smiles, reassuringly, then leaves the room.
89 INT. HALLWAY - “THE PERFECT ESCAPE” HOTEL - EVENING 89
We follow Scott as he hurries down the hall to a bedroom.
CU the name “Woodstock” on the door.
He knocks gently. No sound, so he opens the door.
90 EXT. “THE PERFECT ESCAPE” HOTEL - EVENING 90
Joel’s with Sebastian and Laura, but about to leave...
JOEL
I think that’s about all I can tell
you and I wanna shower before
dinner.
He starts walking away. Sebastian tenses. He looks around and

sees the compost bin.
SEBASTIAN
Hold on. Tell me about composting.
How often do you and your wife
compost? On average? And what would
average be?
Joel gives him a puzzled look. So does Laura.
CUT TO:
The front of the building. Watching the sun disappear, Britta

seems quite emotional talking to Susanna.
BRITTA
You say Scott picked up on us not
being able to have kids? I hadn’t
reckoned on him being so sensitive.
SUSANNA
He has his moments. I think the
last one was in 2012.
91 INT. JOEL AND BRITTA’S BEDROOM - EVENING 91
Scott tiptoes around, noticing the bong, old rock albums,

psychology books, and a little wooden statue of Priapus with
its huge erection.
62.
Scott sees the bedside drawer. He’s just about to go to it,

when he hears Joel whistling, approaching the bedroom.
Scott looks around, desperate for a place to hide.
92 INT. HALLWAY - EVENING 92
Joel’s getting closer.
93 INT. JOEL AND BRITTA'S BEDROOM - EVENING 93
Scott panics. He opens the wardrobe, but it’s full - no room

to hide. So he squeezes himself under the narrow bed a split-
second before he hears the door open and Joel walks in.
Scott turns his head and gets a shock - because there’s

Alessa - also hiding under the bed.
SCOTT
(almost silent whisper)
The hell are you--
ALESSA
(whispers back)
Looking for the same thing as you.
They freeze as they hear Joel move round the room.
Susanna and Britta keep chatting.
BRITTA
Have you been faithful to Scott?
SUSANNA
Yes.
(a beat)
Many times.
She feels a little guilty.
SUSANNA
Well every time physically, but I
have my fantasies... I just wanna
feel young again. Is that such a
sin?
Britta shakes her head.
SUSANNA
But I’m embarrassed about my body.
63.
BRITTA
I can’t see why. Look at me. In a
couple more years I’ll be able to
play football with these.
She indicates her breasts.
SUSANNA
I’m not sure that’s helping.
BRITTA
What was it Dorothy Parker used to
say... “Time may be a great healer,
but it’s a lousy beautician!”
The two women chuckle.
BRITTA
Right, well I’m gonna freshen up
before we eat.
95 INT. JOEL AND BRITTA'S BATHROOM - EVENING 95
Joel’s lying back in the bath with the door to the bedroom
wide open.
96 INT. JOEL AND BRITTA'S BEDROOM - EVENING 96
Under the bed, Scott and Alessa feel trapped.
SCOTT
(whispers)
Why doesn’t he shut the goddam
door?
Alessa shrugs.
To their joint horror, they hear Britta arrive...
BRITTA O.S.
(Seductively)
Hey, big guy. We have a little time
before dinner...
CU - the look of horror on Scott and Alessa’s faces as Joel

gets out of the bath.
A moment later, they hear him and Britta kissing, making

murmuring sounds, then falling onto the bed. There’s such
little room under it that Scott gets squashed.
JOEL O.S.
Wanna take The Pink Mustang for a
ride..?
64.
BRITTA O.S.
Sure do. “Can’t get enough of your
love, babe”...
JOEL O.S.
Then let’s play the man.
CUT TO:
Overhead shot looking down at the bed. As Joel turns to reach

for his Smartphone, we see one of Scott’s hands sticking out.
A split-second before Joel would have seen it, Alessa’s hands

grabs Scott’s and pulls it back under the bed.
CUT TO:
Under the bed, Scott’s free hand lands on Alessa’s breast.
Alessa lifts it off.
SCOTT
Wasn’t me. You put it there.
Alessa grins, but they have to lie so close to each other to

avoid being seen that they’re almost entwined anyway.
Music begins. Barry White’s “Can’t get enough of your love,

babe”. As Britta and Joel start moving in time to it,
bouncing increasingly hard, Scott gets bumped and bruised.
Alessa can barely stop herself from laughing every time the
bumping of the lovers squashes the air out of him.
And it’s not over quick.
SCOTT
(whispering)
Jesus! How many blue pills has he
taken?
ALESSA
(whispers)
Maybe he’s a Tantric master?
But the bumping above them suddenly stops.
CUT TO:
BRITTA
Did you hear something?
JOEL
Only the bed squeaking.
65.
BRITTA
No, it sounded like voices.
CUT TO:
Scott and Alessa looking panicked. Until...
JOEL O.S.
Probably just someone outside. Like
that asshole Scott. He’s always
wandering around moaning about
something.
Alessa can’t help grinning.
JOEL O.S.
Why’d they all take life so
seriously?
BRITTA O.S.
(teasing)
And how do you relax, big boy, by
thinking about your pin-up girl,
his wife.
Scott looks surprised.
BRITTA O.S.
I know you bought that poster of
her in a tutu after we saw her
perform.
Alessa gives Scott an amused look.
JOEL O.S.
No, don’t say “tutu” and “perform”.
BRITTA O.S.
Want me to talk real dirty to you?
JOEL O.S.
You bet. You know what turns me on.
Scott fears the worst.
CUT TO:
BRITTA
(sexily)
Meat. Steak. Gravy, baby...
JOEL
Yes!
CUT TO:
Scott and Alessa try not to laugh as she continues with...

66.
BRITTA O.S.
Chocolate sponge-cake... oozing
with full fat dairy cream...
JOEL O.S.
Oh, yeah...
BRITTA O.S.
Leather! Fur! Cheesecake!
JOEL O.S.
(ecstatic)
YES!
He lets out a huge sigh.
BRITTA O.S.
Right, we better go feed the
guests.
Scott and Alessa hear them get off the bed, then footsteps,
then the bedroom door shutting.
SCOTT
(to Alessa)
Do you think it’s safe?
ALESSA
Let’s give it a moment.
They’re still lying very close to each other - Scott looking

right into her gorgeous eyes.
SCOTT
If only I was twenty years younger.
And female.
Alessa laughs.
ALESSA
I don’t only date women.
Scott’s not sure how to react.
ALESSA
And I really want a baby.
A beat - Scott’s feeling thrown, wondering if she’s serious.
SCOTT
Weren’t we going to raid his stash?
ALESSA
We were.
But she doesn’t move. She gives him a seductive look.

67.
SCOTT
I think you’ve had too much to
drink.
ALESSA
Ooh, a gentleman. But your wife
says you’re a complete dick.
SCOTT
Well, she’s a little prone to
exaggeration, but I’m sure I can be
a partial dick.
ALESSA
That’s all I need to make a baby.
SCOTT
Let’s go raid his stash and get you
some coffee.
ALESSA
To be continued..?
Scott smiles and crawls out from under the bed.
Alessa joins him as they search through Joel’s things.
They can’t help grinning as they find a weird assortment of

items: Incense-sticks, a CD of Whale Songs, books on Yoga and
Tai Chi, a signed photo of Greta Thunberg, then furry
handcuffs and Viagra...
SCOTT
Aha!
HIS POV of the box marked “Magic Mushrooms Market”.
SCOTT
You any idea what you do with this?
ALESSA
I think you make tea.
97 INT. KITCHEN AREA - NIGHT 97
While the others continue preparing dinner, Scott and Alessa

re-enter.
Coming into the room together provokes a suspicious look from

Susanna. It strikes her as odd that they look over at Joel
and Britta putting logs on the fire a safe distance away
before they start gathering mugs together.
Sebastian joins them too and whispers...
SEBASTIAN
Any luck?
68.
Scott nods.
SEBASTIAN
You sure it’ll be safe?
ALESSA
As long as they only sip at it.
She looks over at Frankie, who’s by the Christmas tree with

Laura.
LAURA
Oh, poor tree. Why’d they have to
cut down a real one?
FRANKIE O.S.
Trust me, if you saw my parents
house, you’d never want a fake one
again.
CUT TO:
Quick shot of the tackiest fake Christmas tree in history.
CUT TO:
Sebastian approaches Laura with a mug.
SEBASTIAN
Hey.
LAURA
Hey.
Alessa beckons Frankie to join her.
ALESSA
Frankie? I got something for you.
Frankie goes to her, while Sebastian explains to Laura.
SEBASTIAN
Listen, I just want you to be
happy, okay, and I can tell you’re
holding something in. That’s not
healthy for anyone.
Laura looks guarded.
ANGLE ON: Susanna, overhearing.
SUSANNA
(to herself)
Sweet boy.
SEBASTIAN
(to Laura)
This might help.
69.
He proffers the mug of mushroom tea.
LAURA
Is it poison?
SEBASTIAN
Oh come on.
He takes a sip himself.
SEBASTIAN
See. It’s just a few magic
mushrooms. Completely organic, but
really relaxing.
CUT TO:
Alessa explaining to Frankie...
ALESSA
We really need to be honest with
each other - and this’ll help. I’ll
go first.
She sips at the tea.
Susanna looks intrigued and walks over to Scott who’s pouring

a mug for himself.
SUSANNA
What’s that?
SCOTT
A mug.
SUSANNA
And you think I’m one too? What is
it?
SCOTT
Sssh.
He checks Joel and Britta are still by the fireplace.
SCOTT
You’re always moaning about me
being uptight, so...
He sips at the tea himself.
CUT TO:
Laura sips at the tea.
LAURA
Mmm, that’s nice.
She takes a big gulp.

70.
SEBASTIAN
Careful.
BRITTA
Everyone hungry?
DISSOLVE TO:
Everyone sat round a big table near the Christmas tree. The
meal’s almost over. Everyone still looks quite serious.
SUSANNA
(aside to Scott)
So much for feeling relaxed.
She refills her wine glass.
But then Laura starts sniggering - just a little at first,

then more and more.
SEBASTIAN
What’s so funny?
LAURA
I’m so happy!
Scott and Alessa share a look.
LAURA
I love you guys.
(to Frankie)
Especially you, you little cutie!
She kisses Laura full on the lips.
ALESSA
Hold on.
Susanna suddenly starts laughing too.
ALESSA
It’s not funny.
That seems to make Susanna laugh even more.
Frankie starts beaming with dreamy delight.
Feeling she might be missing out, Alessa grabs the mug by

Frankie and swigs back the past of what’s inside it.
JOEL
(to Britta)
How much brandy did you put in that
sauce?
BRITTA
Not much. Just a few tablespoons.
71.
Now Scott starts to giggle too.
SCOTT
(to Joel - grinning)
Namaste...
(he chants)
Om... Om...
JOEL
You making fun of me?
SCOTT
Om... Peace out.
He makes a Peace sign with his fingers, then laughs.
Sebastian’s starting to feel the mushrooms kick in too. He

looks lovingly at Laura and tries to talk to her, but his
speech is a little slurry.
SEBASTIAN
You were right. We are all one.
Everyone and everything came from
the same source, The Big Bang!
SCOTT
And we know who just had a big
bang, don’t we?
With a huge grin on his face, he points to Joel and Britta.
JOEL
(agitated)
What the..?!
SCOTT
(to Alessa)
Oh, we know, don’t we?
Alessa can’t hide her laughter now either.
BRITTA
(to Joel)
Honey, I think we’d better go check
something.
LAURA
(dreamily)
Honey. I love honey. Bees rock.
SUSANNA
I love the birds and the bees...
She looks at Sebastian seductively.
BRITTA
Joel? Come with me.
72.
SCOTT
(with Cowboy accent)
You gonna ride the Pink Mustang?
Yee-harr!
Scott falls off his chair laughing.
Previously peaceful Joel flips his finger at him.
Joel goes straight to his bedside drawer.
JOEL
(angry)
It’s gone! Those bastards!
He heads for the door, but Britta restrains him.
BRITTA
Honey, calm down. You know what
happened that time you attacked the
guests. Perhaps you just left them
somewhere else.
Joel goes to the chest of drawers and starts rummaging around

frantically.
Britta checks her own bedside cabinet. To no avail.
Suddenly, loud dance music booms out. Plus WHOOPING.
They share a surprised look.
99 INT. CORRIDOR - “THE PERFECT ESCAPE" HOTEL - NIGHT 99
Joel and Britta hurry back down the corridor. He slams open
the door and discovers, to his horror...
100 INT. DINING AREA - "THE PERFECT ESCAPE" HOTEL - NIGHT 100
It’s mayhem. Everyone partying like there’s no tomorrow.
Laura’s dancing with Frankie on the table, throwing all

inhibition to the wind.
LAURA
Hey! This place is all about
stripping back shit we don’t need,
right? Like consumer shit and
stuff? So why don’t we strip back
everything?
She starts doing a provocative striptease.

73.
FRANKIE
Hell yeah!!!
Frankie starts stripping too, bumping asses with Laura at any

opportunity.
Feeling jealous, and wanting to make Frankie feel jealous

too, Alessa snuggles up to Scott.
ALESSA
Come on, just one baby. Please.
You said you always wanted kids,
but she’d never agree.
That prompts a guilty look from Susanna.
SUSANNA
(emotional)
Because they wouldn’t let me dance!
I needed to dance! I still do!
Susanna starts doing ballet moves - Arabesques, Pirouettes,

etc.. all exercised beautifully, but with real gusto, so
other people get knocked aside. So does furniture.
CUT TO:
HER POV seeing Scott in male ballet gear, looking bizarre.
CUT TO:
JOEL
(to Scott)
Hey, asshole! You steal my
mushrooms?
SCOTT
(tipsy)
Not “much room” under that bed of
yours, I can tell you.
He sniggers.
JOEL
(livid)
Right, that does it!
He shakes his fist at Scott.
SCOTT
Chillax, man. We’re all dolphins.
Joel is not amused, but Britta restrains him. For now.

74.
SCOTT
Hey, dolphins, sand... Alessa? Are
we supposed to call The Beach Boys,
The Beach People with Penises now?
ALESSA
Who are the beach boys?
SCOTT
Ohmigod. Susanna? You hear that?
That’s why you should never date
anyone under thirty.
But Susanna’s not listening, she’s leading Sebastian in a

dance so wild that they tumble onto the floor.
He laughs, like he’s being tickled, as she nibbles kisses all

over his face and neck.
CUT TO:
Britta looking around the crazy party scene, at a loss.
BRITTA
(aside to Scott)
In my day we’d just have friends
over for a fondue...
(a beat)
Gimme some of that tea!
She grabs anyone’s mug she can find and swigs at it.
JOEL
Hey! Leave some for me!
BRITTA
Sorry, honey. That was the last
drop.
BEEP! Sebastian’s watch app makes its annoying alert.
Joel throws a jug of water at it and it stops.
JOEL
Ha! Finally!
LAURA
Hey, I bought him that!
ALESSA
Why? So you could turn him into
you?
Frankie slaps her across the face.
Alessa tries to punch her, but Frankie catches her arm.
They wrestle.
75.
Laura joins in, trying to separate them, and trying to kiss

Frankie at the same time.
Sebastian’s confused by this. But Susanna’s determined to

cheer him up with more kisses... which confuses Scott.
ALESSA
Don’t worry, Scott. I want your
babies even if she doesn’t!
She breaks free from the others and throws herself on him.
ALESSA
Please! We don’t have to have
actual sex. I just need sperm. Hold
on.
She runs to the kitchen, where she keeps frantically opening

drawers looking for something.
ALESSA
Yes!
She holds up a TURKEY BASTER triumphantly.
SCOTT
(alarmed)
The hell’s she going to stick that?
SUSANNA
Not up you, you idiot.
Frankie calls to Alessa...
FRANKIE
I’m sorry, but kids make such a
mess. Forgive me?
Laura suddenly calls out...
LAURA
Ohmigod, what if the tree won’t
forgive us?
She jumps down from the table and staggers over to the
Christmas tree.
LAURA
Tree, tree! I’m sorry they chopped
you down. Gimme a hug.
CUT TO:
The Tree’s POV seeing her reach to embrace it.
CUT TO:
76.
Laura’s POV of its branches reaching out to hug her.
CUT TO:
The others staggering tipsily towards the tree too.
As Susanna studies the tree with her dreamy, stoned look...
CUT TO:
HER POV of a decoration ANGEL coming alive and smiling...
MODEL ANGEL
(with femme fatale voice)
Don’t worry, babe. I’m no angel
either. Go get him!
She gives her a sexy wink.
Susanna takes this as a sign to throw herself around

Sebastian again.
Beside her, trippy Laura focuses on a SNOW SHAKER GLOBE.
CUT TO:
HER POV, showing the model cabins inside it change to a model

of the Perfect Escape hotel.
LAURA
I knew it! We’re all just an
experiment run by aliens! Help!
RUN!
She turns and runs smack into Frankie, knocking her over.
LAURA
Ow, my other leg!
FRANKIE
Let me kiss it better.
She tries, but she’s so high she keeps kissing anything

close, like the floor and nearby chairs.
CUT TO:
Stoned Scott trying to focus on the Christmas tree.
CUT TO:
HIS POV of a silver star decoration turning into the handmade

children’s decoration on his tree at home, the one containing
a photo of 5-year old Todd. This photo also comes alive.
77.
TODD
What’s up, Uncle Scott? You look
fucked - like someone just kicked
you in the nuts.
SCOTT
Your auntie and me aren’t happy. I
wanted kids, but she didn’t.
TODD
You got me. What are nephews for?
ANGLE ON: Susanna seeing Scott talking to the tree.
SCOTT
(to the tree - happy)
Thanks, buddy. Appreciate it!
(to Susanna)
You know how we thought he’d freak
out if we split up like his folks?
He’s fine with it. He says they’re
way happier now, so he is too.
(calls out)
Alessa? It’s okay. I’m all yours!
Alessa looks thrilled.
Britta suddenly starts giggling, the mushrooms hitting in.
BRITTA
(to the tree)
Santa?
She staggers over to the tree.
Joel looks alarmed seeing her talk to a Santa decoration.
BRITTA
(to Santa decoration)
Howcome you’re looking like The
Grinch?
CUT TO:
HER POV of the Santa decoration coming alive and moaning...
SANTA
Because other people doing
worldwide deliveries get trucks and
jets, but I have to make do with
fucking reindeer.
ANGEL
(to Santa)
You’ve been fucking reindeer?
Alarmed by this news, a nearby model Reindeer gallops away.

78.
Britta laughs her head off - which annoys Joel, who looks
around and sees everybody laughing or kissing or dancing.
JOEL
Why are you all so fucking happy?!
SCOTT
(mocking Joel)
Oh dear, you seem tense, maybe you
need to go on a weekend retreat and
make a Face-it-and-fuck-it-book?
He can’t help laughing.
JOEL
(to Scott)
It was you, wasn’t it, stole all my
stash? I knew it! Come here!
He storms towards Scott, who tries to escape, but keeps

tripping over everyone who’s making out on the floor.
Joel grabs Scott.
SCOTT
I’m sorry. I’ll get you some more.
JOEL
Where from? The pharmacy up the
fucking mountain?
BRITTA
Honey, calm down.
But Joel marches Scott towards the door. As he opens it, an

icy wind blasts inside.
SCOTT
The hell are you doing? You can’t
throw me out? I’d freeze to death.
JOEL
Promise?
BRITTA
Joel, stop it!
But Joel tries to shove Scott outside into the storm.
SCOTT
Let me in! There are wolves!
JOEL
What, these ones..?
He starts howling like a wolf, then grinning mischievously.

79.
SCOTT
That was you?
JOEL
Mind you, we thought you’d be more
afraid if you found out there
wasn’t a Starbucks.
He laughs and pushes Scott out into the snow.
Scott tries to flee from Joel in the snow drifts, but they’re
way too big to run through.
SCOTT
I’m warning you. I’m a black belt.
JOEL
At what, sending memos? Ordering
lattes?
Scott roars and charges at him.
But Joel ducks Scott falls over his back into the snow.
Joel puts his hands together and says...
JOEL
Namaste.
Scott stands up and tries to kick him, but Joel grabs Scott’s
foot, then swings his own foot to make Scott topple again.
JOEL
Namaste.
SCOTT
You are gonna be so fucked on
Tripadvisor! Just imagine... “The
accommodation was lovely. Only
problem was the batshit-crazy owner
who attacked us”!
The others watch them wrestle through the doorway and

windows, Britta looking particularly worried.
BRITTA
Joel, stop it! Please!
LAURA
Sebastian, don’t just stand there!
Break them up before someone gets
hurt. Violence is not okay.
80.
ALESSA
Says who? You just slapped me
across the face.
FRANKIE
And you slapped her!
ALESSA
Who are you defending? Me or your
new best friend?!
Susanna steps out into the storm.
SUSANNA
Joel, don’t hurt him... too much.
JOEL
You know why you’re all so fucking
unhappy? Because you’re even not
honest with yourselves.
SCOTT
Hey! Moses! Enough with the
fricking sermon on the mount!
JOEL
Oh, I’ve met pricks like you. All
pissed because they never asked you
to give a Ted Talk.
Britta starts wailing.
SUSANNA
(to Joel)
Now look who’ve you’ve upset!
Joel can’t bear seeing Britta cry.
JOEL
No! Honey, I’m sorry.
He hurries back inside.
SCOTT
(to Susanna)
He was gonna kill me. Or worse,
keep saying “Namaste”.
Sudden wind slams the door shut so hard the glass breaks.
The branch of a tree crashes onto the roof, flattening an

aerial and wires, which spark and crackle with electricity.
102 INT. “THE PERFECT ESCAPE" HOTEL - NIGHT 102
The lights on the Christmas tree, and everywhere else, all go

out. Everyone’s plunged into darkness.
81.
LAURA O.S.
Ow! My leg!
FRANKIE O.S.
Here. I’ll kiss it better.
SEBASTIAN O.S.
That’s not her leg; it’s mine!
SUSANNA O.S.
Get off him! I want him!
We hear her walk into something made of glass, which smashes.
SUSANNA O.S.
AGH! Fuck!!
FADE TO BLACK.
In the darkness the icy winds howl.
103 INT. DINING AREA - MORNING 103
The place is a mess. Furniture upturned, plates, glasses and

people’s clothes scattered everywhere.
Someone’s bra hangs from the central light.
The Christmas tree is on its side.
CU - the model Santa Claus positioned behind a model Angel,

so it looks like he’s humping her doggy style.
We hear snoring. It’s coming from under the table, where we

see two sets of female feet sticking out - close together.
An upturned armchair starts sliding across the floor by

itself. When it bumps into something, it turns over,
revealing weary Alessa, topless but tangled up in a blanket.
ALESSA
Scott?
LAURA O.S.
Ssshhh. I’ve got a headache.
ALESSA
Scott? Where are you?
104 INT. SCOTT & SUSANNA'S CABIN - MORNING 104
Susanna’s lying flat out across the bed, half-undressed. She

wakes - blurry-headed.
82.
SUSANNA
(slurring)
Sebastian?
No reply. She gets up and staggers into...
105 INT. BATHROOM - SCOTT & SUSANNA'S CABIN - MORNING 105
Susanna reaches behind the closed shower curtain and turns on

the tap.
SCOTT O.S.
Urghh!
Surprised, Susanna pulls back the shower curtain and sees

Scott lying there, fully-clothed, getting showered on, a
cushion behind his head serving as a pillow.
SCOTT
Turn it off! Jesus.
Susanna turns off the tap.
SUSANNA
What the hell are you doing?
SCOTT
Trying to sleep.
SUSANNA
In the bath?
SCOTT
I didn’t think she’d find me here.
SUSANNA
You didn’t seem to mind last night.
SCOTT
She was upset and drunk.
He climbs out of the bath and grabs a towel.
SUSANNA
Why is your nose so bruised?
SCOTT
Because there wasn’t enough room
under Joel’s bed.
Susanna looks puzzled by his explanation.
Scott staggers into the bedroom.
SCOTT
I hope you didn’t use all my
condoms.
83.
SUSANNA
Oh for God’s sake, we were just
dancing.
SCOTT
Right. What do they call that dance
where you stick your tongue down
your partner’s throat? I forget the
name...
SUSANNA
You brought the stupid mushrooms.
Scott rummages through his bag and takes out some condoms.
Susanna looks alarmed as he opens one pack.
SUSANNA
Oh no, if you think I’m--
SCOTT
(interrupting)
No way. It’s in case I dehydrate.
I’m leaving. You may never see me
again.
106 EXT. “THE PERFECT ESCAPE" HOTEL - DAY 106
Alessa staggers through the deep snow towards Scott’s cabin.
He steps out of it in ski gear, carrying skis, with condoms

filled with water hanging from a belt round his waist.
ALESSA
What the..?! You look like you’ve
got a cow’s udder.
SCOTT
Good job I didn’t put that on my
dating profile.
ALESSA
Where are you going?
SCOTT
Home.
ALESSA
Forget it - the road’s this deep in
snow.
107 INT. SCOTT & SUSANNAH'S CABIN - DAY 107
As Susanna gets dressed, the door opens. It’s Scott.

84.
SUSANNA
I thought you’d left.
SCOTT
I had. But I hadn’t checked the
weather.
He puts down his skis.
108 INT. JOEL AND BRITTA'S BEDROOM - DAY 108
Joel takes a long hard look in the mirror, feeling bad.
JOEL
(like a mantra)
“Stress is not my friend. Smiling
brings joy”... unless those
bastards wind me up.
BRITTA
Joel, cool it.
109 INT. KITCHEN AREA - “THE PERFECT ESCAPE HOTEL" - DAY 109
Britta walks in and tries the lights. They don’t work.
Nor does the kettle. And the gas hob won’t ignite
electrically.
Britta finds some matches in a cupboard and uses one to light

the gas burner. But there are only a few matches left.
FRANKIE O.S.
(half asleep)
We need coffee. Gallons!
Britta shakes her head at a very hungover Frankie and Laura.
She starts collecting bowls and cereal and yogurts.
The outside door opens and Sebastian staggers in, looking

equally hungover. The atmosphere between him and Laura is as
icy as the air coming inside.
LAURA
I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.
SEBASTIAN
What did I do wrong?
LAURA
Grow a penis. That’s the only
thing.
Alessa walks in.

85.
LAURA
(to Sebastian)
Seb, you’re a sweet guy, but you
are a guy.
ALESSA
Don’t you mean “Child with penis”?
Frankie sneers at her.
SEBASTIAN
(to Laura)
So why date me in the first place?
LAURA
Because I needed to be sure. If I
couldn’t fall for a guy as nice as
you, then... I’m sorry.
SEBASTIAN
I feel used.
ALESSA
Join the club.
She glares at Frankie, who flinches.
FRANKIE
I’m sorry too. It’s just the
thought of kids. And we’d never
have found the perfect guy.
BRITTA
Honey, there’s no such thing. Take
a look in the dictionary. You’ll
find “Men” right between
“Menopause” and “Mental case”.
SEBASTIAN
Thanks a bunch.
BRITTA
You know what, you might just be
the exception. The rest of you...
Get real! Why can’t you be happy
with “good enough”?
Britta plonks the cereal box on the table by Frankie.
BRITTA
Here. Good luck making that look
perfect. And don’t finish what’s in
the fridge. It’s all the food we
have left and we could be snowed in
for days.
The others look worried.

86.
BRITTA
(to Sebastian)
Can you get some logs? The
heating’s out too.
Sebastian nods. Britta leaves.
As Frankie pours some cereal, she catches her reflection in

the mirror - bad hair, smudged make-up.
FRANKIE
Fuck it!
She takes a selfie, feeling wretched.
CUT TO:
CU her writing the words “Feeling like crap” on the photo,

then tries to post it.
FRANKIE
Not again. There’s still no signal!
ALESSA
Oh dear, a million followers and
not a single one who can give you a
hand.
Frankie seethes.
Sebastian takes out his own frustration by plunging an axe

onto a huge log and splitting it.
JOEL O.S.
Don’t let Scott see the axe...
Joel comes to help, wearing a lumberjack jacket over his

pyjama trousers.
JOEL
(continuing)
...or we will be re-enacting “The
Shining”. By the way, I’m sorry I
wrecked your watch.
SEBASTIAN
It’s okay. Least of my problems.
He slams down the axe, shattering another big log.
111 INT. DINING AREA - “THE PERFECT ESCAPE" HOTEL - DAY 111
Frankie, Laura and Alessa eat a sparse breakfast. In an

awkward silence.
87.
112 EXT. SCOTT & SUSANNA’S CABIN - DAY 112
Feeling grim, Scott and Susanna trudge through the deep snow
towards the main building, Scott holding his phone in the air
trying for signal and shaking his head.
Susanna looks at the heavy snowdrifts covering the road.
SUSANNA
How long do you think we’ll be
stuck here?
Scott shrugs. The sky looks dark and foreboding.
SUSANNA
Joel said they were expecting a
food delivery tomorrow, but that’ll
never get through.
Joel and Britta address the others by the fireside.
JOEL
There’s no need to panic.
LAURA
(aside to Frankie)
They always say that when people
need to panic. We can’t even call
emergency services.
Laura yells out across the landscape...
LAURA
Help! HELP!
It just echoes through the mountains.
LAURA
Ohmigod, if we run out of food it
could turn into one of those horror
stories where we have to eat
someone.
SCOTT
Bummer for you vegans...
Alessa laughs.
ALESSA
Though I think she’s already had a
taste of Frankie.
88.
She and Sebastian share a smile.
FRANKIE
Stop it!
ALESSA
You started it.
BRITTA
(Like a stern teacher)
CHILDREN! Calm down. If we’re gonna
survive this, we need to set aside
our differences.
JOEL
Right, we need to allocate tasks
depending on people’s different
skills.
SEBASTIAN
(re Laura)
Well she’s good at saving turtles.
Laura gives him a withering look.
BRITTA
Stop it! Or we could be the next
endangered species.
That shuts them all up.
JOEL
First job, I need someone strong to
help me lift the old generator out
of the basement.
Sebastian raises his hand.
SCOTT
Does it work?
JOEL
Who knows. It’s been a while.
BRITTA
Meanwhile, the rest of us can fill
containers with snow in case the
water supply goes too.
ALESSA
Scott was filling up condoms.
SEBASTIAN
There’s no need to boast.
Alessa laughs, but the others.
CUT TO:
89.
Britta, Frankie and Laura scooping snow into saucepans.
115 INT. BASEMENT - DAY 115
Joel leads Scott and Sebastian down the dusty stairs, the
darkness lit only by his flickering cigarette lighter.
116 INT. BATHROOM - SCOTT AND SUSANNA’S CABIN - DAY 116
Alessa and Susanna tip saucepans of snow into the bath tub.
ALESSA
Just so you know, your husband and
I didn’t have sex.
SUSANNA
(regretful)
I know what that’s like.
117 INT. BASEMENT - “THE PERFECT ESCAPE HOTEL" - DAY 117
Joel, Scott and Sebastian huff and puff as they struggle to

lift the huge old generator up the narrow stairs.
118 INT. KITCHEN AREA - “THE PERFECT ESCAPE HOTEL" - DAY 118
As Scott, Joel and Sebastian place the generator down on the

floor, the two older guys sigh and clutch their backs.
SCOTT
I’m sorry about your mushrooms.
JOEL
And I’m sorry I attacked you.
SCOTT
Forget it. That was nothing. You
should see our board meetings.
Joel smiles - grateful and relieved.
Alessa starts taking all the Christmas lights off the tree.
Britta holds the base of a ladder while Alessa climbs up it

to the snowy roof, carrying the Christmas lights.
Laura, Sebastian and Frankie watch from below.

90.
BRITTA
You sure you’re okay up there?
ALESSA
Fine. I’m always having to fix my
mum’s satellite dish.
She brushes off heavy snow from the roof, sending clouds of
it down onto Laura and Frankie.
FRANKIE
Hey!
ALESSA
Sorry. Must have slipped.
CUT TO:
At the front of the hotel, Joel brushes the snow away from
the petrol cap on his truck.
JOEL
Okay, we have a dilemma. If we
drain the vehicles to fill the
generator, we won’t be able to
drive away.
He calls out to the others. Susanna and Alessa are now both
on the snowy roof.
JOEL
Listen up, everyone. Need a quick
show of hands. Fuel for the
building or the vehicles? Who votes
for power in the building?
Everyone raises their hands, except Laura.
SEBASTIAN
(aside to Scott)
That’ll be ‘cause it’s diesel.
BRITTA
(to Laura)
Sweetheart, sometimes we have to
put people before ideals.
Reluctantly, Laura raises her hand too.
JOEL
Thank you.
(aside to Scott)
Lucky we don’t have an electric
vehicle.
(to Sebastian)
Sometimes “Old school” still wins.
Scott and Joel smile.

91.
SCOTT
This isn’t a bonding moment is it?
JOEL
It woulda been Then I saw that.
He points to the side and we see the words “Joel is a dick”

written in large letters in the snow.
SCOTT
Oops. But that was then.
SEBASTIAN
So how do we get the fuel out of th
the truck into this?
He holds up a metal petrol can.
JOEL
Not with an app.
SCOTT
Exactly.
CUT TO:
The garden area. Scott holds out some garden hose.
Joel cuts a section off with a sharp knife.
CUT TO:
Joel putting one end of the hose into the truck’s fuel hole.
JOEL
(to Scott)
You wanna do the honours?
SCOTT
Yeah, I think I owe you that.
He kneels down by the petrol can on the ground and starts

sucking on that end of the hose.
He yanks the hose away from his mouth as fuel pours out...
SCOTT
Urghh!
He sticks the lower end of the hose into the petrol can.
CUT TO:
Up on the roof, Alessa and Susanna finish pinning the string

of Christmas tree lights to the roof so they spell “HELP”.
Joel yanks the cord to start the generator. Nothing happens.

92.
The others look worried.
LAURA
(aside to Frankie)
I knew it. We’re doomed.
Joel tries again and the generator roars into life.
SEBASTIAN
(aside to Laura, fondly)
See. Not everything’s the end of
the world.
She gives him a little smile back as acknowledgement.
Joel plugs the Christmas lights into the generator and they
light up.
ALESSA
YAY!
Scott has an idea. He rushes over to the words he wrote in

the snow and adjusts them to spell “Joel is a brick”.
Joel laughs and high-fives Scott when he rejoins them.
SUSANNA
(to Alessa)
I haven’t seen Scott have this much
fun in ages. I mean, he barely used
his new golf clubs or fishing rods.
As for his exercise bike I bought
him, he only did ten miles!
SCOTT
They were uphill! And it was steep!
So’s the roof. As Alessa starts to get down, she slips on an

icy patch and slides right over the edge and lands on Laura’s
legs, causing her to collapse in pain.
LAURA
(screams in pain)
AGH!!!!
Frankie gives her a harsh look.
ALESSA
It was an accident! Gimme a break.
FRANKIE
I think you’ve just given her one!
SCOTT
(to Laura)
Stay still. Let me see.
He gently feels Laura’s leg.

93.
SCOTT
Feels more like a fracture, but
let’s make some splints just in
case.
SEBASTIAN
Joel, you have bamboo for your
tomatoes, right?
JOEL
Coming right up.
He hurries off.
SUSANNA
(to Laura)
You poor girl. I have some migraine
tablets.
She leaves too.
ALESSA
(to Laura)
I am so sorry.
Laura gives her an acknowledging nod, but is sobbing.
121 INT. DINING AREA - "THE PERFECT ESCAPE HOTEL" - DAY 121
While Frankie strokes Laura’s head, Joel ties duct tape round
the bamboo sticks Scott and Alessa hold along Laura’s leg.
FRANKIE
What if it is broken? And the
emergency services don’t come?
BRITTA
Try not to panic.
FRANKIE
(panicking)
WHY?! We’re running out of food.
And logs! And we have won’t any
power once that generator’s run out
of fuel.
The prospects do look bleak.
BRITTA
The best way to keep warm is if we
all share the same room.
This gets a few cautious looks.

94.
122 EXT. ROOF - “THE PERFECT ESCAPE HOTEL” - EVENING 122
Falling snow covers the last letters of the Christmas tree

lights on the roof, so they now spell “HEL”.
123 INT. DINING AREA - “THE PERFECT ESCAPE HOTEL" - EVENING 123
Lit by candles and old oil lamps, everyone stands around

Laura who’s laid out on a table with a cushion under her head
and blankets over her. Frankie and Susanna shiver a little.
BRITTA
We’ll have to do what Penguins do.
ALESSA
What’s that? Dive for fish?
LAURA
Huddle together.
BRITTA
Exactly. Come along.
Everyone slowly starts to huddle up into a tight circle.
FRANKIE
Don’t you have any new guests
arriving? Surely they’ll alert
someone if they can’t get through.
BRITTA
Nobody new till Spring I’m afraid.
Frankie looks worried.
LAURA
I’m going to die.
JOEL
No, you’re not.
But that does little to ease her mind. Frankie strokes

Laura’s head. Alessa feels a mixture of jealous and guilt.
SUSANNA
(to Scott)
I know. Remember that time you
nearly suffocated everyone at
Christmas?
The others give Scott a puzzled look.
SCOTT
I put wet logs on the fire.
95.
124 INT. BATHROOM - SCOTT AND SUSANNA'S CABIN - NIGHT 124
Scott runs a towel under the tap, then wrings it out.
Scott joins Joel and Sebastian as they’re adding any branches

and twigs they can find to the bonfire they’ve just lit.
SCOTT
Here you go...
He drapes the wet towel over the bonfire.
A moment later, the fire belches out clouds of steam and

smoke.
JOEL
Musta been a great Christmas.
SCOTT
I only do it when her mother stays.
Sebastian fans away the smoke.
SEBASTIAN
Someone’s gotta see this, haven’t
they?
JOEL
We can only hope.
126 INT. DINING AREA - “THE PERFECT ESCAPE" HOTEL - NIGHT 126
The logs in the fire have burnt down to glowing embers.

Everyone’s feeling the cold now and looking unhappy.
ALESSA
Okay, “kids”, we’ve gotta keep
moving.
SEBASTIAN
And drinking.
He knocks back the last of the brandy in his glass and

reaches for the bottle.
SEBASTIAN
Anyone else?
Most of the others nod. So he refills their glasses.
There’s a digital BEEP!

96.
JOEL
What’s that? You need watering
again?
SEBASTIAN
No, it’s only an hour till
midnight!
The others don’t exactly look like they want to celebrate.
BRITTA
Anyone made any new resolutions?
LAURA
Yeah - not to die up a mountain!
FRANKIE
You won’t. I promise.
But Laura’s not convinced.
SUSANNA
Come on, we have to party. Scott,
get your condoms!
The others look either surprised, intrigued or alarmed.
CUT TO:
Everyone puzzled as Susanna and Scott hand them each several

condoms.
JOEL
Wow, somebody’s optimistic.
SUSANNA
It’s not what you think.
SCOTT
Just a group “blow-job”.
CUT TO:
Everyone blowing into condoms trying to inflate them into

balloons - which is not easy, but soon gets everyone laughing
as Sebastian tweaks the open end of one to make funny noises,
and one of Frankie’s condoms flies away in circles and lands
on Scott’s head.
SCOTT
See, I am a dick-head.
Susanna gives him a knowing, but quite fond smile.
ALESSA
Yes!
She proudly holds up a completed condom balloon.

97.
FRANKIE
Told you she dated men as well.
ALESSA
You don’t actually inflate guys.
SUSANNA
Just their egos.
She and Britta laugh.
SUSANNA
Good job, Alessa. Right, now we
need some string. Or cotton.
LAURA
I need more painkillers.
BRITTA
On their way.
SCOTT
I’ll put another towel on the fire.
127 EXT. MOUNTAINS - NIGHT 127
The light of the moon illuminates the slim tower of distant

smoke rising up above the trees by the hotel.
We hear a SNOW-MOBILE approach. Its headlight floods the snow

ahead as it roars into frame with two men, NICK and
CHRISTIAN, silhouetted on it.
We follow it as it speeds through the snow toward the hotel.
Nick points out the word “HEL” still glowing in Christmas

lights on the distant roof.
NICK
See. What did I tell you? But you
never believe me.
CHRISTIAN
Why d’you always have to be right?
DISSOLVE TO:
128 INT. DINING AREA - “THE PERFECT ESCAPE" HOTEL - NIGHT 128
Party music plays from Sebastian’s phone as everyone dances.

Frankie’s dancing by holding Laura’s hands and gently swaying
them. Laura’s quite woozy on painkillers now.
BEEP! goes Sebastian’s watch.

98.
SEBASTIAN
Here we go. Ten, nine...
EVERYONE
(counting in unison)
Eight, Seven...
Suddenly cold air blasts them as the outside door is opened.
To everyone’s astonishment, they see Nick and Christian, both

about 30 and handsome, with very neat beards, wearing high-
viz clothes with the word “RESCUE” printed in large letters.
NICK
Happy New Year!
CHRISTIAN
We saw your sign on the roof.
SEBASTIAN
YES!
He turns to Alessa.
SEBASTIAN
All thanks to you!
He gives her a kiss on the lips.
NICK
(aside to Christian)
I saw it first.
CHRISTIAN
(to the others)
Well I saw the smoke.
SCOTT
(to Susanna)
See...
SUSANNA
Okay, you do have your uses...
NICK
(to Christian)
You didn’t see anything till I
pointed it out.
CHRISTIAN
Did.
NICK
Didn’t.
BRITTA
Ohmigod, do our rescuers need
rescuing?
99.
SEBASTIAN
Perhaps they need some special
“tea”?
JOEL
Trust me, if there was any left,
I’d have drunk it.
CHRISTIAN
(to Nick)
Who cares who saw it first? Why
does everything have to be a
fucking competition?
BRITTA
Are you guys okay?
CHRISTIAN
Fine.
(he puts on a big smile)
It’s the job. It’s a lot of stress
and we’re on call all the--
He stops talking and looks puzzled as he sees...
CUT TO:
HIS POV of the string of inflated condoms hanging from the

ceiling like balloons.
CHRISTIAN
Exactly what sort of resort is
this?
Everyone else bursts out laughing. Everyone except Laura.
LAURA
(slurring a bit)
Excuse me. I’m dying over here!
Nick and Christian hurry over to her.
NICK
What happened?
LAURA
(pointing at Alessa)
She fell on my leg. She wasn’t
thinking. The only thing on her
mind is finding sperm from a Libra.
Nick and Christian look really confused.
CHRISTIAN
Let’s just start with your leg...
DISSOLVE TO:
100.
LATER. Frankie’s wrapped in a space blanket with proper

splints round her leg. The others sit in a circle.
BRITTA
(to Nick and Christian)
How long have you two been a
couple?
NICK CHRISTIAN
Ages. Not long.
BRITTA
O-kay... I sense some tension.
NICK
It was our first Christmas.
Why’d he have to invite his
parents?
CHRISTIAN
Christmas is about family.
NICK
You mean seeing people you’ve been
avoiding all year.
SCOTT
(amused)
And seeing them drunk!
BRITTA
Scott, I’m not sure that’s helping.
The others all offer ADVICE to Nick and Christian - some

quoting wise words they’ve heard over the past few days.
SUSANNA
(to Nick and Christian)
You know a very wise woman...
(she smiles at Britta)
...said to me, the secret to being
happy is to want what you have, not
have what you want.
Britta’s happy to hear her say that.
SEBASTIAN
And be realistic. Just go for
“happy enough”.
SCOTT
And work at it. Relationships are
an ongoing thing.
ALESSA
And don’t try to turn someone into
something they’re not. Accept that
we’re all different.
101.
LAURA
Right. And don’t compare yourself
to other people.
FRANKIE
Especially on social media. Just
‘cause someone looks happy online,
doesn’t mean they are.
As Nick and Christian take all this relationship advice in...
JOEL
(aside to Britta)
Wow, looks like the pupils have
become the teachers. Our work here
is done.
SEBASTIAN
Social media is distorted reality.
LAURA
Like the news.
SEBASTIAN
Exactly.
He and Laura share a high five.
LAURA
(to Sebastian)
I’m sorry I upset you.
SEBASTIAN
It’s okay. You’re being honest.
Finally. But I get it. I’ll never
be a lesbian. Or a turtle.
That gets some strange looks from Nick and Christian.
But Laura smiles at Sebastian - genuinely.
Alessa puts a comforting hand on Sebastian’s shoulder.
CHRISTIAN
You know what we do to cheer people
up when they’re stranded? We sing.
ALESSA
So you can have fun together.
NICK
Yeah. The sex is great too.
CHRISTIAN
Let’s show ‘em.
FRANKIE
What, the sex or the singing?
102.
Christian stands up...
SCOTT
Let’s hope it’s the singing...
Christian bursts into a traditional Romanian Christmas Carol.

He’s a hearty singer.
Nick joins in. He’s even louder.
CHRISTIAN
Come on, everyone. On your feet.
(to Laura)
Unless you can’t walk.
Hesitantly at first, everyone joins them singing the carol. A

couple are hilariously out of tune, but that doesn’t deter
them.
As they sing, something magical happens outside...
There’s a SHOOTING STAR... then another... and another...

then tens and tens of them, like celestial fireworks.
SCOTT
(amazed)
Whoa!
(to Susanna)
Look at that!
She does. And is thrilled.
SUSANNA
Amazing!
Impulsively, they run outside.
Britta sees them looking up in awe and turns to Joel...
BRITTA
See, they just need to try new
things... together.
As the others all step outside to wonder at the sky...
FRANKIE
Ohmigod!
She immediately starts taking photos on her smartphone.
JOEL
I gotta get my old Polaroid.
He hurries back inside.

103.
Laura’s slightly concerned by the sky...
LAURA
Please tell me those aren’t aliens.
ALESSA
It’s a meteor shower.
SEBASTIAN
(to Laura)
Don’t worry. It’s 100% organic.
BRITTA
See, sometimes something magical
happens right out of the blue.
Hearing that, the first people Sebastian and Alessa look at

are each other.
Joel rushes back out with his Polaroid camera and starts
taking pictures of the amazing sky.
FRANKIE
(excited)
Ohmigod, I have an idea.
CUT TO:
Frankie lying on the ground, aiming the Polaroid camera at

the others as they position their bodies to form different
LETTERS OF THE ALPHABET silhouetted against the huge moon.
For instance, Sebastian and Alessa lean towards each other so

their foreheads touch and their arms stick out and meet, so
they form the silhouette of the letter “A”.
Laura uses her crutches to form straight lines sticking out

so she can form the letter “E”.
Susanna holds her arms above her at 45 degrees to form a “Y”.
Nick and Christian lie alongside each other on their backs,

then spread their legs up in the air to form the letter “W”.
It takes several people, and some ingenuity, to form an “H”.
CUT TO:
CU - the Polaroid prints laid out on the table in...
130 INT. DINING AREA - "THE PERFECT ESCAPE" HOTEL - NIGHT 130
The letters in the Polaroids spell out “HAPPIER NEW YEAR”.
Everyone applauds.
104.
SEBASTIAN
Don’t forget... what you do at New
Year, you do all year, so let’s
party!
BRITTA
Here comes the “Tuica”!
She produces the Romanian liqueur Tuica and shot glasses.
Joel hands Sebastian his guitar.
SEBASTIAN
Big Romanian tradition, the
unmarried men go round drumming.
(he creates a beat box
beat)
He turns to Nick and Christian and they join in.
Sebastian sings the intro to “Dancing in the Moonlight”, then

plays guitar as the verse kicks in.
SEBASTIAN
(sings)
We get it almost every night/ When
that moon is big and bright.
The song continues into the next scene...
Everyone dances under the moonlight and meteor shower, all

singing along.
DISSOLVE TO:
132 INT. DINING AREA - “THE PERFECT ESCAPE" HOTEL - MORNING 132
Nick’s fast asleep, splayed across a couch, fully-clothed but

with two Christmas tree balls placed in his groin area.
Christian’s crashed out and snoring, sitting astride the

Christmas tree that’s on the floor between his legs.
133 EXT. “THE PERFECT ESCAPE" HOTEL - MORNING 133
It’s sunny. Snow melts on the track to the hotel.
Sebastian and Alessa eye up the Rescue Snowmobile.
SEBASTIAN
Think they’d mind if we took a
ride?
105.
ALESSA
Are you offering to rescue me..?
Sebastian smiles his winning smile. Alessa kisses him.
CUT TO:
Frankie and Laura watching them from the steps - Frankie

looking relieved - even more so when her phone gets alerts...
FRANKIE
Ohmigod, I’ve got signal again!
She checks her phone and is amazed.
HER POV of the selfie she took of herself looking hungover

and the words “Feeling like crap”.
FRANKIE
I got thousands of “likes”.
ALESSA
See, people like it when you’re
honest. Nobody really wants anyone
else having a perfect life.
FRANKIE
(to her phone)
Yeah. Screw you, Gwynneth! I know
exactly where you can shove your
stupid candles.
They share a laugh.
134 INT. SCOTT & SUSANNA'S CABIN - MORNING 134
Scott and Susanna are woken by his phone ringing. It’s a

sinister ringtone, like a Funeral March.
SCOTT
Oh God. That’s the boss.
SUSANNA
On New Year’s Day!
SCOTT
Of course. Well he can wait.
He turns the phone off.
SCOTT
You know I actually forgot about
work for like an entire day.
SUSANNA
Really?
106.
SCOTT
Well, maybe not a whole day, but at
least an hour.
Susanna smiles. He does make her laugh.
SCOTT
By the way, I finished my Fuck-it-
list.
SUSANNA
You get ten things?
SCOTT
Way more... Hundreds. In fact
there’s only one thing I couldn’t
possibly live without.
He looks into Susanna’s eyes.
SUSANNA
The Mercedes?
SCOTT
Exactly. But you came a close
second.
Susanna sniggers. She takes out red underwear from her bag.
SCOTT
What’s this?
SUSANNA
Isn’t that a Romanian tradition,
wearing red underwear for New Year?
SCOTT
(cautiously)
Listen, you think Rose and William
will ever get in touch again? They
got on real well online.
SUSANNA
I could ask her. I’ve got Rose’s
number. You want me to call her?
SCOTT
Sure. Let me check with William
first, but I think he’d like that.
He pretends to dial his phone and speaks into it.
SCOTT
(into phone)
Hi, Will. How’s it going?
SUSANNA
You asshole. Come here.
107.
She throws his phone away and kisses him.
135 INT. JOEL AND BRITTA'S BEDROOM - MORNING 135
Britta’s in bed, waking up. Joel strokes her head.
JOEL
I’m sorry about last night,
bringing up the whole kids thing.
It wasn’t fair.
BRITTA
Look, I know this isn’t as complete
a home as you might have liked it
to be, but anywhere’s home for me
if you’re there. And you’re so
great at repairing stuff. Most men
just dump the old thing and get an
upgrade, but not you.
Joel gives her such a fond smile.
BRITTA
You still snore like a pig’s ass
and maybe it’s not a great idea to
attack the guests, but hell,
nothing’s perfect.
JOEL
Shall we let them get their own
breakfast this morning?
BRITTA
I like the sound of that...
Joel leans into her - but then has a thought...
JOEL
Hang on.
He leans over the side of the bed and calls out...
JOEL
Scott? Alessa? If there’s anyone
under there, cover your ears!
DISSOLVE TO:
Patches of snow on the ground. Alessa, Scott and Sebastian

take the suitcases from Joel and Britta’s mini-van. Frankie
has crutches to help her walk.
JOEL
I guess this is where we say Adios.
108.
SCOTT
I was gonna say “Namaste”.
Joel laughs.
SUSANNA
(to Joel and Britta)
Thank you so much. I couldn’t have
imagined a more relaxing few days.
BRITTA
Thank you. Remember, everyone, just
‘cause you’re stuck up a mountain,
it doesn’t mean you’re stuck with
your problems.
My grandmother once told me a
wonderful story. She said “Once
upon a time there was a very wise
woman who said ‘Fuck this shit’ and
she lived happily ever after”.
The others laugh.
BRITTA
Such a sweet woman my grandmother.
NOTE: Here are THREE DIFFERENT ENDING OPTIONS...
ENDING A
They hear the ROAR of a Snowmobile. They turn to see...
Christian and Nick ride past.
Condom balloons trail behind the Snowmobile like the ones

tied to the back of wedding cars.
CU the words “Happy New Year” written on the condom balloons.
CUT TO:
Everyone else laughs as Nick and Christian drive away, still

bickering as their voices fade out...
CHRISTIAN
You were singing outa tune.
NICK
Bullshit.
CHRISTIAN
You were. It ends on a “B”...
(sings a “B” note)
You sang a B-flat.
NICK
You’ll be flat if you don’t stop
moaning...
109.
CHRISTIAN
Oh yeah? Bring it on...
FADE TO BLACK.
ENDING B
Britta’s line is exactly the same as before...
BRITTA
Such a sweet woman my grandmother.
Everyone laughs. But this time, Frankie says...
FRANKIE
You know something, I’m done with
taking selfies. I’m gonna take
pictures of other people. And I can
just imagine next year’s Christmas
card.
She looks at Alessa and Sebastian.
CUT TO:
CU a photo of a NEWBORN BABY swaddled in a blanket.
We pull back to reveal a whole NATIVITY SCENE in a stable

with a manger with everyone wearing BIBLICAL COSTUMES.
Sebastian is dressed as Joseph, Alessa as Mary, holding the

baby, Scott, Nick and Christian are the Three Wise Men,
Britta and Joel are Shepherds, and Frankie, Laura and Susanna
are Angels.
FRANKIE O.S.
Hang on, let’s lose the Biblical
outfits.
Suddenly, everyone’s clothes magic off them, leaving them all

standing there in festive RED UNDERWEAR, ranging from classy
to funny reindeer themed pants.
The scene comes alive and the characters all wave goodbye as
a Christmas song like SIA’s “Candy Coat Lane” plays.
FADE TO BLACK:
As the CREDITS appear, we insert quick shots of out-takes,

especially the Nativity scene, e.g. the Three Wise Men to
“Joseph and Mary”...
NICK
I bring Gold.
CHRISTIAN
I bring Myrhh.
110.
SCOTT
I bought him the new Apple Watch.
PLUS... Cristian and Nick could be dressed as the front and

back of a Pantomime Donkey or Camel...
ENDING C - (MY personal favourite!)
Everything is the same as ending B, including...
Suddenly, everyone’s clothes magic off them, leaving them all

standing there in festive RED UNDERWEAR, ranging from classy
to funny reindeer themed pants.
BUT THIS TIME... We realise everyone posing for The Nativity

Scene is in...
137 INT. PHOTOGRAPHIC STUDIO - LIMBO SET - DAY 137
As Frankie (the Photographer) looks at everyone in their red

underwear, she also comments about the mess on the floor...
FRANKIE O.S.
What’s all that on the floor?
Straw? Hay?
SEBASTIAN
(sings start of “Hey, Soul
Sister”)
Hey-ay...
LAURA & SUSANNA

Hey-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay
SMASH CUT TO:
We’re right back at the start, in SCENE 2, with Laura

watching Sebastian and his band of FRIENDS sing “Hey, Soul
Sister” to her on the train.
On her lap she has the leaflet for the resort to which she’s
heading “The Perfect Escape” hotel.
As we travel back, we see some other passengers also have the

same brochure - those other passengers being Alessa, Frankie,
Susanna and Scott, all heading for a perfect winter escape.
Everyone starts clapping and singing along to the song...
EVERYONE
(sings)
Hey, Soul sister, I don’t wanna
miss a single thing you do tonight
111.
139 EXT. RAILWAY - DAY 139
As the song fades, the train travels on towards the snowy

mountains.
FADE TO BLACK.

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STORMY NIGHTS - Dec 17th Revision

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Third draft - Revised December 17th 2020

1 EXT. SMALL TRAIN STATION - ROMANIA - DAY 1

Wintry. Patches of snow. A few Christmas decorations and

2 INT. TRAIN CARRIAGE - DAY 2

Sebastian leads Laura in, looks at his ticket, then at seats.

He goes to two seats near several other cool young people -

Sebastian loads his and Laura’s backpacks onto the luggage

In response, one of the Girls suddenly sings back...

Laura’s surprised. Even more so when one of the guys sings...

SEBASTIAN & GIRLS & GUYS

The second Guy starts making BBOX percussive sounds.

Sebastian sings the verse of “Hey Soul Sister” by TRAIN.

Everyone claps along, both girls swaying to the rhythm.

Some ELDERLY PASSENGERS look surprised. Others enjoy it.

PRIM OLD MAN

But Laura’s wowed.

One of the young Guys produces a guitar and strums along.

One of the Girls uses her suitcase as an effective bass drum.

Laura is blown away.

3 EXT. TRAIN - DAY 3

We hear their singing fade away as the train travels on.

4 EXT. ANOTHER STATION - DAY 4

The train’s stopped. PASSENGERS disembark, including...

5 INT. TRAIN CARRIAGE - DAY 5

He smiles his charming smile.

A tinny Christmas carol shatters the silence.

6 EXT. SUBURBAN HOUSE - DAY 6

The tinny Christmas carol plays from one of the myriad

FRANKIE and ALESSA, who hurry into a waiting Taxi.

Frankie’s 27, half Asian, a stylish online Influencer,

Alessa’s more “street”, with cool tattoos. She’s a teacher,

7 INT. TAXI - DAY 7

She produces a gift-wrapped envelope.

Frankie does, and is amazed by the brochure for “The Perfect

A tall family Christmas tree looking rather sad as the last

8 INT. SCOTT AND SUSANNA’S LIVING-ROOM - DAY 8

There’s something a little cold and stark about the room.

SUSANNA, aged 42, is wearing her dressing gown. She’s Italian

CU - the decorative tinsel on it framing an old photo of a

Susanna turns to SCOTT, late 40’s, a successful architect.

Susanna knows only too well.

She points to the top of the tree.

Scott climbs the small wooden steps by the base of it. As he

Scott looks annoyed as he gets up and brushes himself off.

BEEP! Susanna gets a text message.

CU - the text “Can’t wait to meet you in person”, signed

9 INT. SUSANNA’S BEDROOM - DESIGNER HOUSE - DAY 9

Susanna produces a shopping bag from the back of her closet

She lays it on the bed, excited, then apprehensive.

THE SCREEN SPLITS in two. On the left we see Susanna packing -

Scott packs AFTERSHAVE.

Susanna packs PERFUME.

Scott packs Athlete’s Foot CREAM.

Susanna is about to pack her Dr.Scholl’s Sandals...

Scott unlocks his attache case, revealing several boxes of

He nods. She leaves. No kiss goodbye.

CU “The Perfect Escape” logo on the side of a pick-up truck.