Professional Documents
Culture Documents
5 Jokes
5 Jokes
visitors' centers and rest areas advising people not to feed the bears, how to avoid bears, what to do if a
bear sees you, what to do if a bear attacks, and so on. My favorite, however, was a hand-lettered sign on
the door of a small gas station in a remote area. It said: Warning! If you are being chased by a bear,
don't come in here!
2 Two guys are out drinking when one of them falls off his barstool and lies motionless on the floor.
"One thing about Fred," his buddy says to the bartender. "He knows when to stop."
3 A talking horse shows up at Dodger Stadium and persuades the manager to let him try out for the team.
In his first at bat, the horse rips the ball deep into right field—then just stands there.
"Run! Run!" the manager screams.
"Run?" says the horse. "If I could run, I’d be in the Kentucky Derby."
4 Having grown up just outside New York City, I barely knew a cow from an ear of corn. Until, that is, I
married a small-town Ohio girl. While I was in seminary school, I had a temporary assignment at a
church in a rural community. The day of my first sermon, I tried very hard to fit in. Maybe too hard.
With my wife sitting in the first pew, I began my discourse: "I never saw a cow until I met my wife."
5 Although I knew our commanding officer hated doling out weekend passes, I thought I had a good
reason. "My wife is pregnant and I want to be with her," I told the CO.
Much to my surprise, he said, albeit curtly, "Permission granted."
Inspired by my success, a fellow soldier also requested a weekend pass. His wife wasn't pregnant. So
when the CO asked why he should grant him permission, my friend responded, "My wife is getting
pregnant this weekend and I want to be with her."
Jokes taken from http://www.rd.com/clean-jokes-and-laughs
Answer the questions about the jokes:
Which of the jokes do you find the funniest? Why?
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________
About joke nº 1
Why is it funny? _______________________________________________________________________________________
What animal they suggest you may find in Alaska? ________________________________________________________
If someone goes to your region, which animal is it likely to hear about? ____________________________________
About joke nº 2
Does Fred know when to stop? (Explain) ________________________________________________________________
What’s the second thing you can learn about Fred? _____________________________________________________
About joke nº 3
Did it really happen? How do you know? _______________________________________________________________
What’s the Kentucky Derby? __________________________________________________________________________
About joke nº 4
Has the man said exactly what he meant? ______________________________________________________________
Redo his statement to express what he means: __________________________________________________________
About joke nº 5
What’s the difference between: “my wife is pregnant” and ”my wife is getting pregnant”?
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Do you think the second guy got the permission? Why (not)?
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
20 to 25 points – you do appreciate jokes and know how to manage to tell them in order to amuse people. You might
be the main attraction in barbecues and pool parties.
15 to 19 points – You like jokes but sometimes you don’t choose them properly. Remember that some people may not
share the same sense of humor.
10 to 14 points – You tell jokes and don’t think about the consequences. You think most of people should learn how to
take jokes although you don’t, sometimes.
5 to 9 – You’re the kind of person who would rather lose a friend than a joke. Your sense of humor is questionable but
you don’t feel guilty if someone gets angry, you have tons of friends and tons of jokes to tell and nothing will stop you
from telling a good joke.
0 to 4 – You use jokes to send messages to people you don’t like. Your jokes are to be defended from and not to amuse
people. You lose your sense of humor very fast when someone uses the same weapon as you do.