Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Знімок екрана 2023-07-10 о 14.45.22
Знімок екрана 2023-07-10 о 14.45.22
TEEN Breathe
YouTube stardom: the reality • Coding: girls do it too • Make a vision board
Put on your dancing shoes • Worldly wisdom • Love the weekend
Do you ever start sentences with ‘sorry for bothering » When you interrupt
you...’ or ‘sorry, would you mind if...’? Perhaps you feel a conversation
Knowing when and how
an urge to apologise for every little thing, even when
to interject is essential,
it isn’t necessary, whatever’s happened isn’t your fault so wait for a break in the
and there’s no remorse. Sorry, why do you do this? conversation and then say:
‘Could I just add to that…’.
their (or your) expectations. Similarly, are you using sorry as an automatic DON’T apologise
response, a get-out card to avoid awkward situations? Try to avoid this for circumstances you
temptation and instead, stand up straight and be assertive. can’t control
h
Sandwic
BO
OK
Whisk
Cockroach
Bobble hat
Slippers
HOC
Jigsaw
Jigs
gsaw
KEY
STIC
K
Banana
Flamingo
Flamin
ngo
o
memory game
Look at the pictures above for 30 seconds. Cover with a sheet of paper and write down the items you remember.
It’s hard for short-term memory to retain more than seven items, some even say four. So if you remembered all 10 you
did really well. Perhaps you found the flamingo easiest to remember because a colourful, strange-looking bird is quicker
to recall than a plain hockey stick. Encoding information with strong, vivid images is at the heart of the memory techniques
you’re going to try.
Look again at the pictures and try to weave them together creating a story or linking each item to the next: the flamingo
wears a giant, wobbling bobble hat, the hat has a spinning whisk bursting through the fluffy bobble and so on until you’ve
named all the items. Using emotion and the senses is even more effective for remembering, so add a feeling of disgust
when you munch on a cockroach sandwich, imagining the crunching noise and revolting taste.
Revisit the images you created throughout the evening, then a couple
of days afterwards and then again a week later, and their names will be
set. Poppy and Harry will be touched that you remember their names
the next time you meet.
Now you’ve cracked objects and names, what about numbers? How can you picture a PIN,
phone number or a password? You have to spend time learning something new to make this work,
but it’s worth it.
Write out the numbers 0-9. What do they look like to you? Maybe zero is a doughnut, 1 is a pole
or 2 is a swan, 3 is a wiggly worm and so un until 9.
Draw colourful images to represent each number.
Say your PIN is 3022. Imagine a wiggly worm threading through the ring of a giant sticky doughnut which is
being thrown over two swans like hoopla.
You can even attach images to punctuation to use for passwords: @ could be a curled-up cat; an asterisk *
could be a dazzling star on top of a Christmas tree; an exclamation mark ! could be a baseball bat and ball.
These can all interact with numbers to create weird and memorable images. Give it a go yourself, below.
» Write a new list to practise with this method – it could be items to take on a school trip,
ingredients for a recipe or things you have to do in a day.
WORDS: TRACY DARNTON @TRACYDARNTON. ILLUSTRATIONS: ANIESZKA BANKS
These are just a few memory techniques. Have fun with them. Next time you go shopping, try to remember your list, or
take the time to learn your PINs, passwords and important phone numbers. You might even want to become a mental
athlete who enters competitions. At the very least, you could win ‘I went to market and I bought…’ next time you play.
YOUTUBE STAR?
Then you might want to think again. Here’s why there’s more to life than
a YouTube career – even for those who are living it
YouTubers make people laugh, comfort them and inspire You can script your videos, stick to an upload schedule and
them. They can also give viewers something to aspire to – update your social media to match. But what if you don’t
who wouldn’t want to make a living from vlogging about become popular?
things they’re passionate about, right? But just because No one is ever guaranteed to be successful online. There
the lifestyle seems desirable doesn’t mean you shouldn’t isn’t a formula – and while there are no certainties in life
question what it means to be a YouTuber, and whether it’s or in any job, it’s important to remember that your worth
really what you want. isn’t connected to how many online followers you have.
When YouTube becomes a job, it has pitfalls and Professional YouTubers are under constant pressure to
challenges like any other. There are endless opportunities maintain their subscribers and large audiences. If their
for jobs and careers out there if you stay open-minded and number of views starts dropping, it can be tough to ignore
explore your hobbies, talents and dreams. You don’t need thoughts that they aren’t good enough.
online fans to be happy and fulfilled. External validation comes from other people praising
you and your decisions, or in this case watching and
Being good enough praising your videos. It might feel good for a while, but
One of the biggest draws of a YouTube career is that it’s it wears off quickly, and you might find you start to feel
such an easy platform to get into. With camera equipment down about yourself until the next time you’re praised.
and editing software, anyone can create a YouTube channel. It can be addictive, and it’s never enough.
There’s something freeing and invigorating about running levelled head); temperance (exercising self-restraint); justice
around a playing field, diving into a swimming pool or (treating others with fairness even when they’ve done
kitting up in the leisure centre changing room with a wrong); and courage (facing challenges with integrity). In
bunch of people who have nothing in common besides a short, it’s about learning to make the best of bad situations.
mutual love for one particular sport. It’s a chance to forget ‘Stoicism is the distinction between what you can control
everyday responsibilities for an hour or so and just enjoy and what you can’t,’ says author Ryan Holiday in his popular
yourself. It’s a form of escapism. 2014 book The Obstacle Is The Way: The Timeless Art Of
Passion for a sport is a wonderful thing, and motivates Turning Trials Into Triumph. ‘That’s probably the hardest idea
people to do things they never dreamed possible. But it can of professional sports – that you have to detach yourself
sometimes result in a weird stalemate and what was meant from the results and focus exclusively on what you do and
to be an escape route can feel more like prison if you start do it well. You can’t get mad about missing the shot, or
to lose control of your mental game. Training sessions can losing a game, or calls that went against you. You have to
become less about pushing your body and more about focus on what you were supposed to do and whether you
straining your mind worrying about skill progression, or did it right.’
lack thereof. The same applies to amateur sports. Instead of imagining
During team sports, the skillset of the individual doesn’t ideal situations and environments, stoics focus on dealing
matter. It’s more about coming together as one and with the world as it is. You may not be able to control
performing as a unit. A team is only as strong as its weakest outside variables, but you can determine how you react to
link, and with that in mind, the pressure to improve and adverse situations. You can’t control what others think of
grow as an athlete can leave you feeling overwhelmed. you, but you can determine how you see yourself. Stoicism
No one likes to be left behind, but combine that with is the art of not caring.
concerns or worries that you’re letting down the team and That’s not to say you should lose the passion – instead,
you have a lot to handle. Thankfully, there are things that channel it into something else, and interpret what you
can be done to combat the negative mental strain, or at would usually consider negative experiences as positive
least to keep it at bay. opportunities. If you don’t make the game roster, try to
It may sound a bit over the top to apply the life work of learn from those who did. If you don’t beat your opponent,
philosophers to amateur sports, but the idea of stoicism set new goals to up your own game. Just care less about
and its virtues can be useful when it comes to sorting out the things you can’t control and, as bleak as it sounds, take
a negative headspace. Stoicism was first developed in comfort in the knowledge that there are some things you
around 300BC by a Greek physician, Zeno of Citium, and can’t change. It’s extremely hard to enjoy a sport or hobby
its philosophy comes down to four fundamental virtues: when you’re preoccupied with so many external variables,
wisdom (approaching difficult situations with a logical and and what’s the point of having hobbies you can’t enjoy?
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Whether it’s how to sail or care for vegetables, the more adventurous will disorders when they reach 50. That
a dog or pony, youth organisations want to hike outdoors, attend camps may seem like ages away, but proves
can help you to develop existing skills and participate in exciting exploits. that lessons in resilience and being
as well as open your eyes to new Fortunately, many organisations active outdoors, can have
things to learn. Who knows, after a give you the opportunity to do just a lasting impact.
first-aid demonstration you may be that. Scouting, which is open to
inspired to pursue a medical career. It’s anyone between 10½ and 14 years,
not just the physical side of learning takes its members rock climbing,
how to do a specific task either, such parascending and zorbing. Aged
as lighting a campfire; when getting 14, you can also get involved in
to grips with a new activity, you’re also the Duke of Edinburgh scheme,
being taught to think critically, and embark on an expedition.
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Are you one of those people who has lots of ideas but
feel frustrated because no one seems to listen? Or, are
you too shy or nervous to voice your opinions because
you feel you won’t be taken seriously, particularly if
it’s to someone who’s in a position of authority? If so,
now’s the time to take action. Your viewpoints and
ideas are important and with a little help, you can
learn to get your voice heard by people with power,
whether it’s speaking to your headteacher about the
school uniform or talking to your local council about
improving facilities for young people in your area.
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1 Get involved
Most schools and colleges
have a council and most involve
4 Be polite and persuasive
Good manners, honesty,
politeness and respect for others’
6 Remember the person you’re
speaking to is human too
The person you talk to or write to
campaigning and voting in order to viewpoints will earn you respect may be in a position of power, but
be a member. So, if you’re keen on whether you discuss your ideas in they were once students, too, and
making a difference and have good person or by letter. It’s also important should listen to you whether or not
ideas, join it. Don’t worry if you’re to stay calm and not to tell the they can help. Just speak to them
not elected or too late to join this person in authority that they’re with maturity and good manners and
year – speak to current members wrong. For example, if you write they will respond to you. You may
or the leader of the council about to your headteacher to suggest a not get the answer you want, but
how you can get involved as they change to uniform, you’ll have to taking the time to try will boost your
are your representatives after all and show an understanding of why confidence for when you have to
always need help. the school has a uniform because raise another issue in future.
he or she is in charge of it. Rather
than saying you hate it, be specific
about what needs to change and
2 Write it down
If something concerns you or
you have a good idea but are too
why. If your issue is with canteen
food, don’t just say it’s all disgusting
– give details about what could be
7 Join a club
If you’re particularly interested in
something, join a club or association
nervous about saying these in improved and ideas for getting more dedicated to your cause. For example,
person, write a letter so you can students to buy the food. Describe it may be to do with changing the
get all your ideas down in a polite, the ways a situation could be made environment, recycling plastic,
constructive and balanced way. better for the benefit of many people. sexuality or animal rights. And if you
Be positive, non-judgemental and, Accept it may only happen gradually can’t find one, start one up with the
where appropriate, offer solutions. at first, but small changes you permission of your headteacher and
You can write it or type it, you may instigate could have a big impact. parents. Being with other people
even email it if that feels appropriate, who have the same opinions will
but spend time planning it first. What only strengthen your arguments.
points do you want to get across? Another good way of improving your
What do you want to achieve? Which
person do you want to read this? 5 Phrases to use
When trying to get your point
across, it’s a good idea to have a few
argumentative and persuasive skills
is joining your school’s debating club.
Who knows – your ideas may lead to
stock phrases in your head to use. changes you want.
You should aim to show that you
For example:
8 Don’t take things personally
When you’ve got your ideas
across, you may be successful and
WORDS: DONNA FINDLAY. PHOTOGRAPH: ALAMY.COM
few weeks making notes about a I understand that you believe… see positive changes as a result.
situation. It may be a personal story however… However, it may be that despite your
which will give your ideas more While I realise it is important to… best efforts, the person you speak to
weight. For example, if the uniform many students feel… won’t listen or does listen but can’t or
is too uncomfortable or the material I appreciate you taking the time to won’t change anything. Take time to
isn’t good enough, prove it. If the hear my argument about… reflect on the decision. You can come
canteen sandwiches have the same Could you advise me where to go back to the issue but you may need
fillings three weeks in a row, show a next with my ideas? time to consider how else to get
list. If you think there’s a need for a What steps do you recommend I take your ideas across – or whether the
change in your town, explain why. next in order to change this? situation has to be accepted for now.
Nothing beats the feeling of having a good giggle. People laugh when they’re having fun, but laughter can
Having a friend who shares your sense of humour is also happen when you’re nervous and on edge, perhaps
fun and a great way to connect. But why is this? because of its healing, stress-relieving properties. Have
Research suggests laughter releases the body’s feel- you ever felt an uncontrollable urge to giggle when being
good endorphins, which help people to feel relaxed scolded by a parent or teacher? You might laugh when
and promote bonding. you’re nervous or embarrassed, which is also a regular,
It seems a shame then that while children laugh healthy response. Laughter with friends can get you
300 times a day, for adults the figure is a miserly 20. through difficult days at school and take your attention
Message? Hold onto those giggles – even when you’re away from the more challenging side of life. When you
changing schools or sitting exams – and try not to let laugh, you’re right there in the moment, letting go of the
life get too serious. past and worries about the future.
And, anyway, laughter has a serious side. It’s good
for your mood and health. When you laugh, the amount
of stress hormones in the body decrease, which helps
to boost the immune system and prevent illness. One
study even found that people with a good sense of
humour live longer.
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1 Smiling warm up
Laughter Yoga teacher Robert Rivest suggests this
exercise: ‘Take a slow, long, deep breath in and smile
6 Silent laughter
Try laughing silently and having a good belly laugh
without making a sound. In stressful moments before an
while saying to yourself: “As I breathe in, I smile.’’ As you exam, you can find a quiet corner or toilet cubicle to giggle
slowly breathe out, say: “As I breathe out, I release all away to your heart’s content without anyone knowing.
physical tension.’’’
2 Laughter breathing
Take a long, slow, deep breath in and stretch your arms
7 Laughter meditation
Set a timer for around three minutes. Now begin to
laugh continuously. Focus on laughing low down in your
up in the air. As you lower your arms have a good belly belly. At first this can seem like surprisingly hard work.
giggle for as long as you can. Can you feel the way your Practise regularly and you’ll be able to extend the length of
belly moves when you have a good chuckle? That’s the these laughter marathons and notice the flood of feel-good
kind of deep laughter that massages the internal organs endorphins afterwards.
and has lots of health benefits.
3 Milkshake laughter
This is one of Dr Kataria’s most popular exercises.
Pretend you’re mixing up a milkshake by pouring two
imaginary containers of liquid into a glass. Now take a sip
as you inhale, and exhale out laughter.
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Like, love, loathe – everyone seems to have an opinion Most people struggle to feel secure in themselves at some
WORDS: TANYEL MUSTAFA. ILLUSTRATIONS: VICKY SCOTT
these days. Thing is, when they’re about you and your worth point (in fact, many times) in their life. It’s part of being human.
they can affect your confidence and happiness, which is why Some aspects of social media, however, can make it worse.
it’s important not to let other people’s judgement change Last year’s Royal Society for Public Health #StatusOfMind
how you see yourself. report about the effects of social media on young people’s
The reality is that friends, teachers, strangers, even family wellbeing discovered that Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat and
members can only make assumptions about your character Instagram all had negative net impacts on health.
(though some will be more informed than others). Only you So next time you’re affected by the way someone appears
know you and assumptions are not facts. Try to view yourself to perceive you online, try to remember it’s only their
with a confident and positive attitude that acknowledges opinion and they don’t have all the facts. You do. And you
your strengths and talents – which are facts – and you’re can be honest and proud of what’s on the inside regardless
likely to develop a healthier outlook. of whether it can always be seen by those on the outside.
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Be true to yourself
Someone else’s opinion says much more about them than
you. As long as you feel confident in your actions and are
being true to yourself, that’s all you need to focus on. If
you’re engaging in activities and thoughts that make you
happy, you’re more likely to be fulfilled and relaxed.
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It’s a typical scenario. The local sixth-form college is holding writing computer script – I’m following a set of instructions
interviews for new students. There’s a row of boys waiting which is telling me how to create a pattern and get a
to talk to the computer science teacher and a line of girls certain outcome at the end.’”
ready to sign up for courses in childcare. Why? The truth is
many girls just don’t see themselves writing code for apps, Where to begin
games, websites or IT systems – if that sounds like you, There are plenty of ways you can get involved, either online
you’re missing out on something that can aid all-round or through after-school clubs and holiday workshops, often
brain power, increase career prospects and be fun. for free or at little cost. ‘There are loads of freebie sources
Amali de Alwis is the head of Code First: Girls, an online,’ advises Amali. ‘We recommend platforms like Code
organisation that aims to get more women coding and Academy, Dash and Code.org, which has content ranged by
working in the world of tech. It runs courses for over-18s age from as young as three or four all the way through. And
but Amali would like to see more girls getting involved: there are in-person resources such as Code Club which run
‘Some people think if they haven’t done it since the age of clubs across the UK – set up by kids themselves, parents or
six they’ve missed the boat,’ she says, ‘but that’s absolutely schools who come together and provide the tools. Stemnet
not the case. There’s lots of help out there to set you on also runs workshops and other events throughout the year.’
a journey that will be challenging and exciting and that
will give you a good career at the end.’ Blazing a trail
The results can be fast, too. One student, Funmi, completed
Golden ticket the Code First: Girls beginner’s course last March and is
We’re not talking about ending up in a boring office fixing already working as a junior developer at the mobile phone
other people’s computers. Coding is a versatile skill that app banking service Starling. Another student, Jess, took
can be applied in all sorts of jobs – entertainment, games, the beginner’s course in 2015 and is a software developer
manufacturing, retail, healthcare and more. Amali says for global technology consultancy ThoughtWorks.
it’s important to look at its real-world value rather than its According to the UK’s Office of National Statistics in 2017,
geek appeal. only 3.9 per cent of people working in tech were female
‘One of my students is now an instructor. She first came programmers and software developers, so any girls who
in wearing DMs and funky clothes and stuff. She was do have a go at coding have the chance to be trailblazers
working for a company that sold wool, and she was sitting for change as well – and mix up those queues for college
there knitting saying: “This is what I’m doing when I’m courses further down the line.
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Code Kingdoms
Designed for eight to 14 year olds, this offers
easy-to-use online tutorials for you to learn
coding by creating your own Minecraft
modifications or games. Bundle prices and
family packages are available and parents
can be sent weekly progress updates.
codekingdoms.com
STEMNET
Works with schools and colleges to help
young people and teachers access STEM
Clubs (science, technology, engineering and
maths) and links with STEM Ambassadors.
stem.org.uk
Codecademy
Offers free coding classes in a wide range of
different programming languages and HTML.
So what’s in it for me? codecademy.com
Coding experts widely agree that it can improve mental agility, Dash
everyday communication skills, problem solving, creativity and Online self-learning site to get the basics
logical thinking. of web development for beginners,
including HTML and Javascript.
A sense of satisfaction: rather than playing something someone dash.generalassemb.ly
else has created over and over again, you can make something
new of your own. Kids Ruby
A fun way to learn the Ruby computer
WORDS: NIGEL HUDDLESTON. ILLUSTRATIONS: MATT CHINWORTH
It builds confidence in exploring the wider digital world of apps, language through creating games and
games and web design. other simple programs, with a split
screen function that shows what the code
There are social benefits from joining coding clubs and says and what it does.
after-school groups and meeting people with a similar interest Kidsruby.com
and sharing ideas.
Hopscotch
It can mean more money when you go to work: research by Step-by-step interactive learning app,
Tech City UK found that tech jobs pay 36 per cent more than available for iPhone and iPad. Involves
the national average. dragging and dropping blocks of code
to make up new programs. Aimed at
You will be in demand: the UK alone will need a further one million students aged 10 and over.
tech workers to meet the requirements of employers in 2020. gethopscotch.com
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1. Sit on the floor with your legs straight in front of you and your torso upright and strong.
Press your hands to the floor, a little behind your hips with your fingers pointing towards
your feet. Sit tall and lean back. Take a few breaths here as you find your point of balance
on your sitting bones.
2. On an out breath bend your knees and lift your feet off the floor. Engaging your core and
stomach muscles, point your legs and feet upwards towards the sky at an angle that feels
comfortable for you.
3. Keeping your arms straight, stretch them out parallel to the floor, holding them on the
outside of your legs with your fingers pointing forwards. Take a few in and out breaths, holding
the pose for a few seconds – only as long as you are comfortable to do so.
4. On an out breath, lower your legs to the floor and, on an in breath, sit back upright. Observe
the strength within your body and how you are feeling.
Students who have neck injuries, headaches, low blood pressure or any other medical conditions where
they have been advised not to engage in such an activity are advised not to practise this posture. It should
ILLUSTRATION: SARA THIELKER
also be avoided by anyone who is – or thinks they might be – pregnant (we know mums like to try these
yoga postures too!).
making you imagine things that are in the future. Bringing found through engaging the brain in a different and
yourself back to the present moment when you notice your creative way to its usual activity.
mind racing can quieten those thoughts. You could become
engaged with the present by drawing your attention to
something physically near you. For example, the colour of
an object, fellow passengers on a bus, the size of a building
4 Changing your environment or physicality
Sometimes it won’t be possible to get up and leave
the room in which you find yourself overthinking, but if
ve
or the shape of a tree – anything that is happening and you are able to change your environment, it can be a good
exists in the here and now. Taking a moment to focus on idea. Moving to a different room in the same building,
something real can halt overthinking and calm the mind. or even going outside for some fresh air, can give the
brain pause as the physical act of moving will provide
are in the future – and therefore aren’t factual – try to changing your posture – often people become hunched
counter this with a short memorable phrase that you can over when they’re stressed. Relaxing your shoulders and
pull out when the going gets tough. Something as simple sitting straight will make your posture feel more energised
as ‘this is not true’ can prevent anxious thoughts spiralling. and confident.
Most worries don’t come to pass, so finding your own
unique phrase to emphasise this point can help to ground
your brain in reality. 5 Breathe deeply
Monitoring your breathing is another way to bring
the attention back to your body. Taking deep breaths and
3 Get creative
Picking up a pen to do some writing (see page 56),
sketching or colouring will keep your mind occupied and
focusing on how many seconds you wish to draw out the
breath (try counting to four beats per breath inwards and
outwards) can help to distract from racing thoughts.
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If you’d like more information on how to get started, have a look at the NHS website:
nhs.uk/Livewell/getting-started-guides
Find your nearest dance school or teacher at the Council For Dance Education and Training: cdmt.org.uk
To find out about different styles of dance and your nearest classes visit Exercise Move Dance on emduk.org
Dance Near You has a database of more than 1,000 dance classes of all levels run by dance teachers, dance schools
and studios across the country. Find them at dancenearyou.co.uk.
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Ask yourself what you would choose to do if fear didn’t exist and you knew you would
2 succeed in everything you did. How would your life look? This is an important question to
ask because you don’t want to limit any of your goals – nothing is out of reach when you’re putting
together your vision board.
Cut out any pictures, words or quotes that make you feel good and inspire you. There are no
3 rules when it comes to what you want to express. A picture could include a school sports team
you want to join, a favourite flower you think is beautiful, a role in a play you hope to be chosen for,
a new skill or hobby you’d love to take up, a country you’d like to visit, influential figures you look up
to, people you love and things for which you’re grateful – anything goes.
COM / SHUTTERSTOCK.COM
Focus on personal goals and dreams, relationships in your life, the relationship you have
4 with yourself, your hopes and aspirations. Keep in mind the bigger picture – fundamentals
like health, love and happiness rather than the newest phone, fashion fad or ccelebrity
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2. Sit for a moment, breathing at your regular pace and allow your body
and mind to relax.
3. Now take a deep breath in through your nose. As you exhale, round
your mouth and flow the breath up along the throat and out through
the mouth – just as you would breathe when fogging up a mirror, making
a ‘HA’ sound.
For beginners, it’s best to limit your practice of the Ujjayii breath flow
technique – in through the nose and out through the nose – to no longer
than five minutes. Observe how your mind and body feels afterwards.
(Longer lengths of time can be practised when you have gained more
experience of Ujjayii breathing.)
Words: Dawattie Basdeo. Dawattie is a kids and teens yoga teacher. For details, visit
magnificentmemagnificentyou.com. Younger children should always be supervised.
What’s stealing
your precious hours?
If weekends seem to pass in a daze and leave you
feeling unfulfilled and deflated, then take a good
look at what’s taking up your time so that you can
consciously make better choices.
Long lie-ins. It’s nice to know you can have a few extra Zs at
the weekend but if you spend too long in bed you’re losing
a big part of the day. Enjoy an occasional lie-in, but give
WORDS: CAROL ANNE STRANGE. PHOTOGRAPHS: TWENTY20.COM
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gratitude
How often do you stop and think about all the everyday things you’re thankful for?
Getting into the habit of noticing these things can shape the way you see the world
Recent studies show that developing an attitude of gratitude can help people to become
happier, more optimistic and relaxed, as well as more resilient when things don’t work out
the way they’d anticipated.
The words ‘think positively’ are bandied about a lot, but the idea – that by doing so you’re
more likely to act and feel positive – is a valid one. Recalling things you’re grateful for works
in the same way, by giving the mind good things on which to focus. It’s a wonderful way to
tap into the thoughts, emotions and sensations associated with things and people you love.
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There are many things you can be grateful for in life, but it’s really easy to get
caught up in everyday dramas and lose sight of them.
Psychological research on practising gratitude found that writing down three
things you feel grateful for – making a gratitude list – was the most effective
practice when it came to having an impact on emotions (not to mention the
easiest), which means you’re more likely to stick with it.
Take a moment, close your eyes and think of something you’re grateful for.
Notice the feelings you experience. Perhaps you have a smile on your face already
or a warm fuzzy feeling inside. Does it feel good? Imagine being able to feel those
sensations easily every day. Certainly worth a try, right?
Far from being weak and fragile, the soft souls among us have a hidden strength
Accept who you are the full life’s sweet experiences. There’s no reason to be
Do you struggle not to cry if someone raises a voice at you? ashamed because you’re sensitive, so try not to make
Do seemingly small things reduce you to tears? Being tense yourself emotionally numb so you can look tough in front
and touchy are some of the traits of a sensitive person – of others. This isn’t who you are and while hiding your
someone who rather than being insecure just perceives the emotions may seem to be a useful coping mechanism at
world differently. They feel it deeply and can be weighed first, it might make it harder when they all inevitably come
down by the experience, sometimes overwhelmed and flooding back in.
paralysed by intense emotions, be they anger, love or
sadness. If this sounds like you (do the test, right), try not to Enhance your relationships
resent this part of yourself and instead accept it as an asset Think that your openness to the world allows you to
that makes you more perceptive and intuitive. interact better with others: you can more easily interpret
people’s emotions and understand their pain. Being able
A gift in disguise to empathise with someone close is a genuine gift – try
You can turn what you may consider a weakness into to cherish it. And it might be that your ability to show
strength. You’re lucky enough to have this special ability your own feelings will have a positive effect on those
– being able to feel and see things that others may not – around you. A scientific phenomenon known as ‘emotional
so you could use it for your and others’ benefit. Like many contagion’ suggests that your emotions actually rub off on
things in life, you have the power to develop what some others, so like a ripple effect, when you show happiness you
regard as a disadvantage into a positive inner force. So, try also raise the mood of the people close to you.
not to dismiss it or see it as a burden. Perhaps consider it
WORDS: ANNE GUILLOT. ILLUSTRATION: SAMANTHA NICKERSON
a gift and an opportunity to grow and learn. By having a See sensitivity as a strength
greater sensory perception, you can sense the nuances of Still, you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders,
beauty, especially in arts or nature, but also in all the little you feel the pain of others and you give them everything
things that make life wonderful. It’s important to remember you have. Being sensitive is hard… but if you embrace
these instances given that your ability also means you will your sensitive nature to the fullest, you can appreciate
feel life’s injustices equally as keenly. the many benefits it offers in everyday life, from noticing
everything to being able to comfort others, from feeling
Cherish the difference more intensely to truly caring. You may have been called
Some people think it’s better to disguise your feelings or overdramatic, soft or even naive, but the problem is not you
pretend you don’t have them. But why? Showing your – it’s part of societies where emotions have been switched
feelings – good or bad – is not a curse. Feeling deeply is off. Don’t think you have to change to fit in, instead nurture
an asset that allows you to be aware of your surroundings, this because being a sensitive soul is a sign of strength –
be tuned into other people’s concerns
erns and to enjoy to not a weakness.
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Have you ever had the feeling that someone was really ‘dadirri’, a kind of meditative listening that can help people
listening to you? That they ‘got’ you and understood where heal after difficult experiences.
you were coming from? Do you remember how good that
felt? Perhaps it was a teacher who recognised your talent The gift of listening
for their subject, or an aunt or family friend who took the There may be times when you don’t feel like listening.
time to hear your point of view. When a teacher is lecturing you about a subject you’re not
interested in, perhaps, or when a parent is telling you off.
Taking time to listen It can be especially hard to feel like listening when you
In a world full of noise and chatter, listening is an haven’t been properly heard yourself.
underrated skill. People feel desperate to talk and be heard However, with friends, listening can be an act of
by others, and they may not put so much emphasis on generosity. Not just for the person being heard, but for you
taking their turn to listen. too. When you listen you get to stop, and simply be. You
But it wasn’t always like this. Many indigenous cultures can focus on the other person’s words in a similar way to
had a tradition of listening closely to each other. Native how you might concentrate on your breath in meditation.
Americans passed a talking stick around a circle so that And listening can be relaxing because it allows you to
only the person who was holding it could talk. This fostered take a holiday from your own problems and concerns for
an environment of mindful listening without interruption. a while, to help a friend through theirs. Doing it well can
Australian Aborigines, meanwhile, have a concept of help to build trust and deepen friendships.
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2 Don’t interrupt
Have you noticed how people often tend to interrupt
each other? One person starts talking then another jumps
5 Use your listening skills wisely
Although there are benefits to listening, it can
sometimes be draining. People can become so wrapped
right in. Spend a day listening to the conversations around up in their own problems, they may not be considerate of
you and notice how much people interrupt. You might how you feel, or if you need to talk about your issues too.
be surprised how often people can barely finish their Remember that listening skills should be used wisely and
sentences before someone else begins theirs. only when you have the energy. You don’t want to find
Next time you are having a conversation, try to be yourself in a situation where conversations are often
mindful of letting people finish their own words before one-way and only based on someone venting to you
you speak. Being patient and allowing someone to get about their problems. Imagine that your listening energy
to the end of what they are saying is a great (and rare) is like a cup full of liquid. It can quickly drain away when
listening skill to learn. you don’t have anyone listening to you, to fill your cup
back up again.
fast, or dealing with a strong feeling, they need to be confidential, and also not to talk to each other later about
listened to without advice. When you listen without giving what was said during the session. This creates a safe space,
views or suggestions, you can help them to release their so the other person only talks about their problem at a time
feelings. When they have lightened their own emotional of their choosing.
load, they may well be able to come up with a solution When the listening session ends, ask your buddy a
for themselves. question about something mundane and everyday.
Maybe try something like: ‘What animals can swim?’ or
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£
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9
With the weather improving and the days getting longer, healthy lifestyle and work with many friendly people.’
you’re probably looking forward to venturing outdoors to Whether you’re naturally green-fingered or have yet to
enjoy some fresh air and sunshine. And if you’re someone sow a single seed, experts agree that a passion for plants
who is happiest in the open and who loves nothing more is all that’s needed to start. Chances are, if you have that
than to be among greenery and wildlife, you may be spark, there’ll be a perfect horticultural role for you. From
interested to know that your love of flora and fauna could landscape designers to botanists, and garden historians
form the basis of a fantastic, rewarding career. to plant breeders, the scope is enormous. Everyone
Horticulture – the science and art of garden cultivation involved in horticulture is contributing in some way to
– offers a wide variety of employment opportunities and, the conservation and understanding of the environment,
with green issues very much in the public consciousness, helping to ensure that it can be protected for current and
it’s currently an expanding area that’s keen to attract new future generations.
talent. Trainee horticulturalist Jenny Allwood-Booker says Places of employment can be as varied as the roles
it’s essential for a new generation to get involved: ‘Plants available – you don’t necessarily have to work in a formal
are massively important. They make oxygen for us to garden setting, there are tons of sites that require careful
breathe, food for us to eat, fibres to be made into clothes, management that you wouldn’t perhaps think of initially.
and so much more.’ In fact, if you’ve ever admired or used a green space, it’s
And Jenny says there are big advantages to spending so very likely that there’s a horticulturalist (or several) looking
much time outdoors. ‘I watch things change through the after it. Even cemeteries and churchyards are maintained
seasons. Plus, there are a wide range of different jobs which by teams of gardeners, allowing them to become much-
I get to take part in every day. I’m able to enjoy a physical, needed havens for wildlife in busy towns and cities.
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5 YOU CAN EAT FOODS THAT YOU
CAN’T PRONOUNCE
It’s a myth that you ‘shouldn’t eat foods that you
can’t pronounce’. I mean, how many people can say
‘quinoa’ correctly? Whatever you fancy eating for
your lunch, whether it be at school or home, have the
confidence to eat it and don’t worry about what others
may think. One day you might fancy a quinoa salad, the
next chicken and chips or pasta and garlic bread. Life is
about balance and variety.
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OH, NO... SO EMBArr AssING!
How can you survive if the so-called responsible adults in your life humiliate you?
Behind closed doors you probably can just about survive your parents trying to dance to your Spotify
tracks, attempting to rap like Stormzy, making lame jokes or wearing the same clothes they wore as
a 15 year old in 1991. But it’s a little different when they show off their embarrassing habits in public
– particularly in front of your friends. It may be that they start dancing on the table after a glass of wine
or post photos on Facebook that make you cringe, so how do you cope?
2 Talk to them
Your parents will have no idea that calling you
‘Poochie’ when your friends are round or their curious
5 Learning to cope
If they have embarrassing items of clothing, you could
encourage them to donate them to charity. Someone
clothes sense is making your toes curl unless you say out there will love their Westlife T-shirt even if you don’t.
something. But before you yell at them, take a moment Then, you can go shopping with them and steer them into
to collate your evidence. Choose a good time and place clothes you think they’d look great in. Don’t be unkind,
before you explain calmly, politely and as kindly as though, and remember that while 40 might seem ancient
possible (they do have feelings after all) that while they to you, it doesn’t to them. Age is just a number – isn’t that
may not realise they’re doing it, you’re finding some things what they say when they’re dancing around the kitchen?
embarrassing and it’d be helpful if they toned them down – swiftly followed by ‘life would be boring if everyone was
– at least in front of others. the same’. (Correct on both points, as it happens.)
WORDS: DONNA FINDLAY. ILLUSTRATION: STEPHANIE HOFMANN
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8 Accept it
You will survive. No one has ever died of
embarrassment, so you will, however hard it seems, be
and ‘it’d be boring if everyone was the same’.
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Lots of people let worries that they can’t write well enough stop them from
putting pen to paper. Yet writing is for everybody. It’s free. You can do it practically
anywhere and you don’t need special equipment. And the amazing thing is that
everyone has their own voice or style of writing. Given the same first sentence, each
person would come up with a completely unique piece of writing. Isn’t that mind-
blowing? Introducing a little bit of writing into your day is a great stress reliever.
You have to concentrate just on the page, in the moment, putting one word after
another, building sentence by sentence, paragraph by paragraph. Before you know
it, you’ve written hundreds of words. And you can be proud of having created
something from nothing. Getting your thoughts down on paper can also help
stop them whirring round and round inside your head. You can express feelings,
frustrations, work through sadness or anger, or write down the things you wished
you’d said to somebody, all in the privacy of your own notebook.
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List items in the room of someone you know well to sum up their character, maybe a sibling’s bedroom:
‘It was the half-eaten toast, the discarded T-shirt, the worn teddy peeping out from under the
pillow, the sickly smell of body spray…’
Why the dog is far too clever to be a real dog
Things to do on a sunny day
Fantasy bands and their song titles
What Ellie packed in her suitcase when she ran away
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Whether you want to send a friend a hug, tell them you’re off
swimming or announce you’re on holiday, there’s an emoji to
help. Sharing a simple icon or picture can express your feelings,
represent what you’re up to, and indicate if you’re with family,
friends or the dog. Since the first emoji appeared on everyone’s
digital screens almost two decades ago, you can now choose from
a whopping 2,666, and 157 new emojis are lined up to appear on
our electronic devices in 2018.
It’s also good to know that emoji users are a happy bunch. The THE OAP
most commonly used emoji worldwide is the ‘face with tears of Uses emojis in the wrong way or
joy’, the icon that says something’s so funny that you’re crying with completely inappropriately
laughter. The ‘smiling face with heart eyes’ and the ‘red heart’, both
representing love, are also popular. Indeed, none of the emojis in
the top 10 most used on Facebook conveys negative emotions –
so no doubt the new blushing ‘smiling face with three hearts’ and
the hat-wearing ‘partying face’ will be appearing in your messages
any day soon.
Look out, too, for new emojis to represent knitting, sewing and
skateboarding. A cupcake and black chess piece are making an
appearance, as are a hippopotamus, kangaroo, swan, peacock and
Thanks for my
lobster. And there’s good news for all redheads and those with curly present :-)
locks – at long last you’re getting your own emoji, along with the I <3 it!
white-haired and bald brigade.
From ancient Chinese teacher Confucius to 20th-century but mistakes are valuable guideposts in the learning path.
French philosopher Simone de Beauvoir, a look through the Britain’s wartime Prime Minister Winston Churchill once
history books reveals a string of enlightened people whose said: ‘All men make mistakes, but only wise men learn
insights have been amazing. But they weren’t born with from their mistakes.’ Why? Errors of any kind can improve
superior knowledge or wisdom. This comes with openness, performance and the ability to adapt as they offer a chance
knowledge and experience. to gain insight from past decisions; to learn what does and
ORIGINAL WORDS: ANNE GUILLOT. ILLUSTRATIONS: SHUTTERSTOCK.COM
Life is a process of learning, of ups and downs. And if doesn’t work for you and redefine your goals to match; and
there’s anything that helps to deal with its challenges, it’s a way to adapt and thrive in the future.
wisdom – the ability to make the right judgements and So, making mistakes doesn’t mean you’ve gone offbeam.
choices. It comes with time yet it doesn’t necessarily follow Instead, it’s about making progress along your journey
that older people are wiser. They may have greater insight – they are the evidence that you’re growing, that your
and be more reflective and less impulsive, but there’s no personality is developing and that you’re gaining valuable
guarantee that a 60 year old is wiser than a 16 year old. experiences. So, if you take a risk and it doesn’t quite work
The key is time, but how it’s used rather than its duration, out, you’ll have a better idea of what to do next time and be
whether that amounts to months or years. more likely to take more effective decisions.
Throughout life, self-awareness tends to deepen, You could consider life as a game: learning the rules gets
allowing people to identify and fulfil their potential in areas you started, but the more you play it, the more chances you
in which they excel and to work harder in those where have to win. It isn’t always easy or fair, but be courageous,
they struggle. Within this, it can help to take responsibility be optimistic and go beyond self-doubts. If you learn, grow
for choices and actions. It’s also useful to embrace any and gain compassion from all of life’s lessons – the good
stumbles and to accept failure – it may seem unlikely and the not-so-great – wisdom will follow.
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Stand or sit with your eyes closed. Take some slow, deep letting them fall into a relaxed position. Roll each shoulder
WORDS: SUSIE DUFF. PHOTOGRAPH: TWENTY20.COM
breaths. Pay attention to the parts of your body where you forward, then back again. Repeat this movement if your
feel tense – hunched shoulders, clenched teeth, butterflies shoulders feel particularly tense.
in your stomach.
Open your mouth slightly. Relax your neck and jaw.
Breathe in deeply and feel the air travelling into these Breathe in through your nose and then slowly exhale.
areas, loosening the tension and carrying it away on the out
breath. Repeat five times. Place your hands gently on your belly and feel the rise
and fall of your stomach with each breath in and out.
Pull your shoulders up in an exaggerated shrug, all the Continue taking long, slow breaths until you feel it soften
way to your ears. Hold them there for a moment, before and relax.
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Teen Breathe (ISSN 2514-930X) is published by GMC Publications Ltd, 86 High Street, Lewes, East Sussex BN7 1XN
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Views and comments expressed by individuals do not necessarily represent those of the publishers and no legal responsibility can be accepted for the result
of the use by readers of information or advice of whatever kind given in this publication. Nutritional information given is a guideline only and may vary due to
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