97-Liners Groupchat

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/18841864.

Rating: Not Rated

Archive Warning: Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: Multi
Fandom: | Bangtan Boys | BTS, GOT7, SEVENTEEN (Band), NCT (Band),
ASTRO (Band)
Relationship: Jeon Jungkook/Everyone, Kim Yugyeom/Everyone, Jung Yoonoh |
Jaehyun/Everyone, Xu Ming Hao | The8/Everyone, Kunpimook
Bhuwakul | BamBam/Everyone, Lee Seokmin | DK/Everyone, Kim
Mingyu/Everyone, Lee Dongmin | Cha Eunwoo/Everyone, Kim
Namjoon | RM/Everyone, Lee Taeyong/Everyone, Im Jaebum |
JB/Everyone, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Everyone, Park Jinwoo | Jin
Jin/Everyone, Jeon Jungkook/Jung Hoseok/Kim Namjoon/Kim
Seokjin/Kim Taehyung/Min Yoongi/Park Jimin, BamBam/Choi
Youngjae/Im Jaebum/Kim Yugyeom/Park Jinyoung/Mark Tuan/Jackson
Wang, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee
Taeyong/Ten/Nakamoto Yuta/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Kim Myungjun |
MJ/Cha Eunwoo/Moon Bin/Park Jinwoo | Jin Jin/Park Minhyuk |
Rocky/Yoon Sanha, Kim Mingyu/Lee Seokmin | DK/Xu Ming Hao |
The8
Character: Jeon Jungkook, Kunpimook Bhuwakul | BamBam, Kim Yugyeom, Jung
Yoonoh | Jaehyun, Lee Seokmin | DK, Kim Mingyu, Xu Ming Hao |
The8, Lee Dongmin | Cha Eunwoo, Lee Taeyong, Kim Namjoon | RM,
Park Jinwoo | Jin Jin, Im Jaebum | JB, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups,
Bang Chan, Im Nayeon, Lee Jieun | IU, Choi Soobin, Na Jaemin, Choi
Yeonjun, Bae Joohyun | Irene
Additional Tags: Mentioned Bangtan Boys Ensemble, Mentioned GOT7 Ensemble,
Mentioned SEVENTEEN Ensemble, Crack, Humor, Chatting &
Messaging, Inappropriate Humor, Fluff, Mentioned NCT Ensemble,
Mentioned TWICE Ensemble, Light Angst, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Implied
Sexual Content, Mentioned ASTRO Ensemble, Polyamory, Fluff and
Angst, Mentioned Stray Kids Ensemble, Mentioned Bang Chan,
Texting, Leaders Groupchat, Mentioned Red Velvet Ensemble,
Mentioned BLACKPINK
Language: English
Collections: Amazing fics to reread
Stats: Published: 2022-08-20 Updated: 2022-08-27 Chapters: 72/? Words:
91242

97-Liners Groupchat
by Novii

Summary

Thaibaby: EUNWOO

Thaibaby: DO ALIENS EXIST OR NOT

 EarlyBird: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW

Thaibaby: YOUR GROUPS NAME IS ASTRO

Megaphone: you lost me there

Greekgod: yeah me too

Lostboy: jae you made everyone lost

EarlyBird: I-

EarlyBird: so that makes me the expert on all things space???

HitTheYug: YES

Thaibaby: YES

KookieMonster: got7 really do share one braincell

EiffelPuppy: no kidding

________

Or somehow this went from a meaningless crack fic to a meaningless crack, slight angst
and fluff fic. Oh and they troll dispatch.

Notes

KAY SO

A few things before we start!

-I've always been interested in writing a 97-liner groupchat bc I love their friendship

-Super unrealistic. All members here are in a polyamorous relationship with their respective
group. It's fiction so why not?

-It's a tester for now. There's no direction for this so as far as I'm concerned this fics gonna
be a meaningless crack fic bc I love crack lmao

That's it for now!

See the end of the work for more notes

 Intro

97-Liner Groupchat

The8: K so when are we going out for bowling again?

Yugyeom: you know... when SOMEONE's finally back in the country

DK: *cough* Jungkook *cough*

Jungkook: Oh so it's my fault now? What about jae and bam huh??

Jaehyun: listen it's one thing to be out of the country for a month and another to be out for a
YEAR

Jungkook: excuse you it's 10 months

Mingyu: SAME DIFFERENCE

Bambam: and besides i leave for like what?

Bambam: two weeks at max

Jungkook: not fair.

The8: back to my point

The8: all of you hurry the fuck up and get your asses over here so I can beat them in bowling

DK: babe you suck at bowling

The8: SAYS YOU

The8: YOU LITERALLY KNOCKED DOWN PINS ON THE OTHER LANE

DK: not the point.

Bambam: lmaooo that was hilarious

Yugyeom: is that a challenge Xu Minghao???

Mingyu: yikes.

Mingyu: full name lads

Mingyu: shits about to get serious

Jungkook: oooooo

Jaehyun: oooooo

DK: oooooo
Bambam: oooooo

The8: listen here you fucking giant

The8: I have nunchucks and I'm not afraid to use them.

Bambam: OOOOOO

Jaehyun: OOOOOO

DK: OOOOOO

Jungkook: OOOOOO

Yugyeom: oh yeah??

Yugyeom: bet you wouldn't mind if one of your boyfriends used them

DK: actually i think wonwoo did use them once

Jungkook: WHAT

Bambam: RIP IN PEACE

Bambam: THAT'S AWESOME

Jaehyun: THAT'S HORRIFYING

Mingyu: ah come on jae don't pretend you're not kinky now

Mingyu: your group practically revealed your crossdressing kink back in halloween

Jungkook: LMAOOOO

Jaehyun: that's different

The8: whatever floats your goat sweetheart

Bambam: hey yug

Bambam: you think jinyoung would mind using nunchucks??

Yugyeom: DO NOT

Jungkook: who the FUCK left their dirty underwear in my suitcase

Jungkook: yikes wrong group

Jaehyun: tmi jungkook tmi

Jungkook: oh please you act as if we don't know all about your sex life with your 91376219
boyfriends
Jaehyun: alright sheesh sorry man

Jaehyun: besides what are you calling me out for? You literally have no shame on us when it
comes to your 7 boyfriends

Jungkook: 7?? Bro you know they're 6

Jaehyun: ah right my bad

Jaehyun: I forgot Jin-hyung had the shoulder capacity for two people

Bambam: LMAOOOO TRUE

DK: Mingyu literally has water splashing out of his nose from how hard he laughed

The8: HAHAHAHAHHAHA

Yugyeom: HAHAHAHAHA

Mingyu: I'M ALIVE

Jungkook: Listen

Jungkook: True.

DK: if i ever decide to hang out with bam and yug alone ever again

DK: someone kick me in the balls

DK: @Mingyu @Jaehyun @Jungkook @The8

Yugyeom: you're just jealous that your boyfriends couldn't be with you

DK: SO YOU DECIDE TO DEEPTHROAT HIM??

Yugyeom: I DID NOT

DK: DID TO

Yugyeom: DID NOT

Bambam: (he did fyi @Mingyu @Jungkook @Jaehyun @The8)

Yugyeom: fucking

Yugyeom: are you on my side or his??

Mingyu: Yug babe

Mingyu: there's no point in lying

Mingyu: we've all seen it happen before

Jaehyun: Yup

The8: Yup

Jungkook: Yup

Yugyeom: disloyal fuckers

Yugyeom: you guys never support me

Jungkook: and miss the chance to make fun of you??

The8: not today sweetheart

Yugyeom: I hate you all.

 Of Timezones and Directions
Chapter Summary

In which someone gets lost.

Chapter Notes

Bc who cares for accurate timing??

I actually have no idea if the timezones are correlating or not so please excuse me
lmao

3:12 AM Korea Time

97-Liner Groupchat

Yugyeom: DO YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT TIME IS IT

Yugyeom: FUCK YOU

Yugyeom: YOU GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK

DK: what's going on?

Bambam: I'M SORRY

Bambam: WHY YOU GOTTA EXPOSE ME LIKE THIS ON THE GROUP

Bambam: also @DK shouldn't you be sleeping?

DK: don't worry about it

DK: Seungkwans hogging the blankets again

Yugyeom: YOU FUCKING DESERVE IT

Bambam: YOU WEREN'T ANSWERING SO I CALLED

Jaehyun: isn't it like 3 AM in korea rn

Yugyeom: YEAH
Bambam: LISTEN

Bambam: ALL I WANTED TO KNOW WAS WHETHER YOU WANTED THAT BOMBER
JACKET YOU LIKED IN WHITE OR BLUE

Bambam: IT'S HALF PRICE HERE IN MILAN

Yugyeom: I FUCKING HATE YOU KUNPIMOOK BHUWAKUL

Yugyeom: I'M GOING BACK TO SLEEP

Yugyeom: also blue.

Bambam: fucking knew it

Jungkook: damn someone's pissy when woken up

Bambam: you don't know the half of it man

DK: well not that watching yug deck bam wasn't fun

DK: but i'm gonna try to get some sleep

Jungkook: is that sarcasm i detect

Jaehyun: next time

Jaehyun: just get both and steal one

Bambam: fuck

Bambam: why didn't i think of that

8:25 AM Korea Time

Mingyu: what we miss

The8: tf happened here

DK: don't worry about it

Mingyu: guys

The8: shut up

DK: HAHAHAHHAHA
Jungkook: ?????

Mingyu: how can someone

The8: shut up

Yugyeom: tf

Mingyu: be so bad at directions???

DK: HAHAHAHAHAHAH

The8: would you like to engage in the act of silencing yourself

DK: HAHAHAHAH

Jaehyun: lmao what's making Seokmin laugh so hard??

Mingyu: alright kids storytime!

Jungkook: oh this is gonna be good

The8: I will fucking murder you in your sleep Kim Mingyu

Jaehyun: hey seok does minghao have smoke coming out of his ears?

Mingyu: seoks too busy busting a lung to reply

Mingyu: anyways

Mingyu: so I'm just sitting down with my hyungs minding our own business

Jaehyun: making out you mean

Mingyu: listen jeonghan hyung got a new choker and he looks absolutely amazing in it

Mingyu: what am i gonna do? Say no?

Jungkook: Point

Mingyu: Anyways

The8: Do fucking not.

Yugyeom: hey min lock your door or something

DK: don't worry about it

Jungkook: yikes
Mingyu: when all of a sudden i hear yelling from downstairs

The8: LET ME GO YOU PIECE OF SHIT

Mingyu: so we look down and what do we see??

Mingyu: Minghao being scolded by the angry old lady that lives in the next building

DK: very loudly might we add

Mingyu: turns out

The8: Fuck you all.

Mingyu: he forgot where his own building was and entered the wrong one

Yugyeom: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

Jungkook: LMAOOOO HOW CAN SOMEONE FORGOT THEIR OWN BUILDING

The8: I DIDN'T I JUST WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION

Jaehyun: didn't you also once forget where your school was and ended going to a completely
different school on the other side of town?

The8: I love death and dying.

DK: YES HE DID

DK: HIS MOM SWORE IT

The8: I've lived a good life.

Yugyeom: minghao

Yugyeom: im not saying that's the stupidest thing i've ever heard

Yugyeom: but that's exactly what im saying

Jungkook: LMAOOOOOO

Mingyu: kook busted a lung yet?

Jungkook: IM IN TEARS

The8: imma just go throw myself out the window now

Jaehyun: and risk letting the old lady get to you?

The8: FUCK NO

Yugyeom: rip in peace

Bambam: what i miss

Bambam: LMAOOO HOW CAN SOMEONE FORGET THEIR OWN BUILDING

The8: OH FOR FUCKS SAKE

 Of Kinks and Discussions
Chapter Summary

In which, a very serious discussion is opened.

Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

97-Liner Groupchat

Jaehyun: alright so does anyone want anything from the US

Bambam: what a generous offer

Bambam: what's going on?

Jaehyun: nothing

Jaehyun: i just decided to be a nice human being

DK: thanks man but nothing

Jungkook: I'm good thanks jae

Jaehyun: don't you have a concert in like 10 mins

Jungkook: RIGHT

Jungkook: BYE

Yugyeom: american chocolate!!

Jaehyun: lmao idk if they'll survive on the plane but sure

Yugyeom: :D

Mingyu: ummmm no clue

The8: just get him a new mop or something

Jaehyun: mop?

Mingyu: OH OH THE ONE WITH THE NEW TWIST FEATURE???

Mingyu: THAT WAY I CAN GET INTO THE HARDEST CORNERS

Mingyu: AND CLEAN THAT NASTY SPOT BEHIND CHAN'S BED

Jaehyun: ... he reminds me of Taeyong.

Bambam: jfc

Bambam: do you guys make him roleplay as a maid or butler or something

The8: mm sometimes yeah

DK: he cums the hardest when we do

Jaehyun: oo tae-hyung does too!!

Yugyeom: I'm

Yugyeom: ....

Jungkook: so

Jungkook: now that i'm free for a tiny while

Jungkook: we have matters to discuss.

The8: ????

Yugyeom: ?

Jungkook: we have revealed on this group that NCT has a huge crossdressing kink and that both
NCT and Seventeen take parts in a roleplaying kink

DK: okay...?

Jaehyun: please don't tell me this is going where I think its going

Jungkook: oh yes

Jungkook: so what are your kinks??? :DDDD

Mingyu: kook wtf

Jungkook: how are we supposed to be best buds forever if we don't know all of our kinks?!

Jungkook: it's for bonding purposes!

Yugyeom: bonding purposes? Or ideas for your next orgy

Jungkook: SHUT.

Jaehyun: fucking knew it

Bambam: ight so praise, powerplay, bondage

DK: Woah woah you're into bondage??

Jaehyun: why are we like this

The8: you're asking me @jaehyun

Yugyeom: it's one of his biggest kinks

Jungkook: interesting

Jungkook: and is there a specific way to be tied up?

Mingyu: kook seriously wtf

Jungkook: i'm bored and horny

Jungkook: problem?

Jaehyun: you're always horny

Jungkook: SAYS YOU

Jaehyun: WHEN

DK: i think all of us in this group are always horny

The8: Point

Jungkook: FINE

Jungkook: I won't ask anymore.

Jungkook: Hmph.

Yugyeom: Bam also crossdresses

DK: oh yeahhh i remember his MAMA outfit and nails

DK: great outfit btw

Bambam: why thank you

*Jaehyun has left the group.*

 *Mingyu has added Jaehyun into the group.*

Mingyu: do not act as if Ten wasn't sucking your dick like 10 minutes ago

The8: LMAOOOOO

Yugyeom: HAHHAHAHA

Jungkook: LMAOOOOO

DK: HAHAHAHHA

Bambam: HAHAHHAHA

Jaehyun: i hate you all.

Chapter End Notes

SEVENTEEN'S COMEBACK Y'ALL

THEY JUST KEEP GETTING BETTER
 Of Dances and Drinks
Chapter Summary

In which, someone wants to go drinking.

97-Liners Groupchat

Bambam: I have a question

DK: ????

Jaehyun: what's up

Bambam: how come we've never talked about how gay seventeens choreos are

Yugyeom: omg true

Bambam: like all that hand-holding and shit

Bambam: @The8 @DK @Mingyu are you trying to expose yourselves???

The8: pft noo

Mingyu: it just so happens that the choreos like that

Bambam: and i just so happen to have a dildo up my ass

Jungkook: omg i never paid attention

Jungkook: so true

Jungkook: its like a sophisticated orgy

DK: oh says you

DK: DNA??? Fake Love??? Blood Sweat and Tears man

Yugyeom: LMAOOO HE'S RIGHT

Jungkook: shut.

Jaehyun: I'm impressed

The8: ??? With what

Jaehyun: Bam actually said something smart for once

Mingyu: HAHAHHAHAHA

Jungkook: LMAOOOO

The8: HAHAHHAH

Bambam: I will murder you Jung Yoonoh.

Jaehyun: come at me bro

Yugyeom: hey didn't jae rank one of the tops in physical strength or something?

Bambam: on second thought, im good!!

Jaehyun: that's more like it.

Jungkook: BITCHES

Jungkook: [image]

Mingyu: did you send a pic of your new dorm to flex or something?

Jungkook: no

Jungkook: what i meant to say was

Jungkook: I'M BACK IN KOREA BABY

Yugyeom: TAKE COVER

The8: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES

Bambam: HIDE YOUR CHILDREN

Mingyu: HIDE YOUR DOGS

Jungkook: oh for fucks sake

Jungkook: i really dont like you guys rn

Jaehyun: what they probably meant to say was

Jaehyun: Welcome back!!

DK: ^^!!!

Jungkook: thanks guys :')

Jungkook: you two have official been ranked my favorite best friends

Jungkook: everyone else can go suck dick

Yugyeom: I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS

Yugyeom: I HAVE BEEN THERE FOR YOU SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME

Yugyeom: I DEMAND MY RIGHTS

Bambam: jokes on you what makes you think i wasnt sucking dick

DK: im

DK: appalled

Jungkook: ....

Jungkook: you got me there.

Yugyeom: now that kooks back

Yugyeom: let's go drinking!!

DK: you want to go drinking?

Jaehyun: the baby of the group???

Jungkook: what is this sin????

Bambam: a tragedy!! Our sweet boy has been corrupted!!

Mingyu: tainted!! By the devil's desires!!

The8: what is this tragedy struck upon us?!

Yugyeom: are you all fucking high rn or something

DK: What is this foul language!!

Jungkook: who has dared to ruin our sweet innocent summer child!!

Yugyeom: i am literally two months younger than you

Jaehyun: we must gather together and cleanse his sins!

The8: we must brothers!

Yugyeom: Oh for fucks sake

Yugyeom: can you all shut up

Yugyeom: im literally taller than all of you

Mingyu: no you're not

Yugyeom: no im not

Yugyeom: BUT STILL

Bambam: we must purify this innocent soul!

Yugyeom: you know what

Yugyeom: why did i even bother

Yugyeom: i get the same reaction everytime i suggest we go drinking

Yugyeom: fuck you all

DK: so who wants to go drinking?

Bambam: in

Mingyu: ^

Jaehyun: ^

The8: ^

Jungkook: ^

Yugyeom: I will gouge all of your eyes out.

 Of Crushes and Gangbangs
Chapter Summary

In which, someone gets gangbanged.

Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

97-Liners Groupchat

The8: did we ever tell you guys about Mingyu's massive crush on Mino from Winner

Jungkook: I mean, who wouldn't have a crush on that guy?

DK: Point

DK: But no forreal we have proof

PalmTree: He's just so fucking fine

PalmTree: like

PalmTree: I'd gladly be his fiancé

PalmTree: have you heard his voice

PalmTree: his eyes

PalmTree: his dick

Bambam: um

Bambam: if I didn't know how in love you were with your group i'd suspect something

Jaehyun: fuck that i'm suspecting something

DK: Trust me

DK: if he had a chance

The8: we'd let him

PalmTree: he's so fucking gorgeous i'd gladly let him pin me down

PalmTree: wait
PalmTree: when did my username change??

The8: and there's your proof

The8: Seok and I wanted to test how distracted you can get by Mino

The8: answer? Long enough to not notice us taking your phone and changing your username

Yugyeom: damn he really is whipped

Jungkook: wow

Jungkook: ok but i'd do the same for GD

Jaehyun: same

Bambam: same

Yugyeom: same

The8: same

DK: Hyuna

Yugyeom: WHAT

DK: my bisexual ass thirsts for her ok

DK: she can do whatever he wants with me

PalmTree: if i wasn't so whipped for Mino I'd agree

PalmTree: ok wait

*PalmTree changed his username to Mingyu*

Jaehyun: i liked palm tree better

Mingyu: you shut up

DK: I SAW HER

DK: AT THE STORE

Jaehyun: saw who?

The8: he saw hyuna

DK: I FUCKING SAW HYUNA

DK: SHE SMILED AT ME

The8: (she smiled at all of us)

DK: MY BISEXUAL ASS IS SHAKING

Yugyeom: there there seok

DK: IT WAS MAGICAL

Mingyu: he's literally bouncing from excitement

DK: THERE WAS A CONNECTION

DK: I FELT IT

The8: (she was being polite)

Jungkook: i'm sure there was seok

Bambam: she's probably overjoyed too

DK: YES

DK: I BELIEVE IT

DK: IT WAS BEAUTIFUL

The8: Mingyu? I think its time we put him to bed

Mingyu: i gotcha

Jungkook: yikes

Jaehyun: do we want to know?

The8: nah we'll just calm him down and maybe tie him up

Mingyu: grab the lube while i carry him?

The8: got it

Yugyeom: okayyy this is some freaky shit that the group does not need to know

Yugyeom: have fun you freaky shits

Bambam: ^

Jaehyun: ^

Jungkook: ^

Bambam: @Jungkook @Jaehyun @DK @The8 @Mingyu

Bambam: would anyone be willing to adopt me into their group

The8: lmaoo what happened

Bambam: GOT7 is cancelled.

Bambam: that's what.

Jaehyun: @Yugyeom what did you do

Yugyeom: baaaabe

Yugyeom: sweetheart

Yugyeom: we're sorryyyyyy

Bambam: NO

Bambam: YOU BROKE MY ASS

Bambam: I CAN'T FEEL MY LOWER BACK

Jungkook: rough night bro?

Bambam: THEY GANGBANGED ME

DK: Yikes

Mingyu: so it was a rough night huh

Yugyeom: Bammmm

Yugyeom: you know we love youuuu

Bambam: FUCK YOU

Yugyeom: come on

Yugyeom: i'll prepare you a bath

 Yugyeom: with that purple bath bomb you like?

Yugyeom: and some wine

Yugyeom: how about that?

Bambam: UNFUCK YOU

Yugyeom: :DDDD

Jaehyun: wow what a romantic

The8: truly

The8: @DK @Mingyu wanna gangbang vernon?

Mingyu: see ya boys

DK: I'll get the box

Mingyu: bye guys

Jungkook: um

Jaehyun: well that was interesting

Jungkook: truly

Chapter End Notes

GOT7's comeback killed me.

I am deceased.
 Of Rivers and Crushes
Chapter Summary

In which, measures are taken.

97-Liners Groupchat

The8: um

The8: hi guys

The8: how are you???

Yugyeom: spit it out

The8: um

The8: so like my group are all practicing

The8: but i had a meeting

The8: so like

Jungkook: ming just say it

The8: I'M LOST OKAY

Jaehyun: Again?

The8: SHUT IT.

Bambam: how the fuck...?

The8: I GET IT

The8: IM AN IDIOT WITH NO SENSE OF DIRECTION

The8: NOW CAN YOU GUYS HELP ME BC GOOGLE MAPS ISNT RESPONDING

Jungkook: wow even google maps is tired of your shit

The8: FUCK YOU AND JUST HELP ME

Yugyeom: alright alright

Yugyeom: but first

*Yugyeom changed The8's username to Nosenseofdirection*

Yugyeom: nah too long

*Yugyeom changed Nosenseofdirection's username to Lostboy*

Yugyeom: perfect!

Bambam: GENIUS

Lostboy: sleep with one eye open tonight.

Jaehyun: ming just tell us where you are

Jaehyun: are there any signs?

Lostboy: um no

Lostboy: there's a convenience store

Lostboy: and there are series of shops

Lostboy: and i think there's a park up ahead?

Jungkook: ...

Jungkook: you're gonna have to be a bit more specific

Bambam: ^!

Yugyeom: ^

Jaehyun: ^

Lostboy: oh!

Lostboy: @Jungkook there's a big poster of your group on the side of a building

Jungkook: building sized??? We don't have much of those

Jungkook: wait a sec

Jungkook: take a pic

Lostboy: [image]

Jungkook: ming
Jungkook: walk towards the trees

Lostboy: are you sure

Lostboy: im already lost as is

Jungkook: Yes

Jaehyun: wait a minute i've seen this

Lostboy: I'm at the han river!!

Jaehyun: minghao

Jaehyun: how the fuck did you get on the other side of the han river

Bambam: LMAOOOO

Bambam: IM CRYING

Lostboy: i was lost so i thought the building wasnt far and decided to walk?

Bambam: im barely in korea anymore and i know better than you

Yugyeom: what a fucking idiot

Lostboy: IM FOREIGN

Bambam: SO AM I

Jungkook: you know what

Jungkook: @Jaehyun @Yugyeom @Bambam are you guys free??

Yugyeom: yes

Bambam: ^

Jaehyun: ^

Jungkook: meet me at the han river

Jaehyun: on my way

Bambam: already out the door

Yugyeom: ^

Jungkook: and you

Jungkook: @Lostboy

Jungkook: fucking stay put.

Lostboy: im not a child :(

Jaehyun: Stay put.

Lostboy: yes sir.

Mingyu: @Bambam @Jaehyun @Jungkook @Yugyeom

Mingyu: on the behalf of seventeen we would like to thank you for bringing back minghao safely

Mingyu: and we have decided to inform you that

DK: [image]

DK: We've decided to put him on a leash.

Bambam: HAHAHHAHAHAHAH

Jungkook: THIS IS THE BEST THING IVE EVER SEEN

Lostboy: I feel like a pet :(

Jaehyun: LMAOO

Yugyeom: HAHAHAHHAHA

Jungkook: hey guys

Jungkook: you think jimin would mind if we put him on a leash?

Jaehyun: Jeon Jungkook get the fuck out of here.

Jungkook: yes sir.

Bambam: like

Bambam: @jaehyun

Bambam: i feel the need to confess

Bambam: i love my group and the sex is amazing

DK: um

Bambam: but i really wouldnt mind if jungwoo fucked me

Jaehyun: you what?

Mingyu: uh oh

Jaehyun: are you thirsting over my boyfriend???

Bambam: im not saying i am

Bambam: but thats exactly what im saying

Jaehyun: do you want to die tonight?

Yugyeom: ah chill jae its not like you dont ogle at joshua all the time

Lostboy: WHAT

Jaehyun: I DO NOT

DK: YOU WHAT NOW

Yugyeom: who u tryna fool m8

Jaehyun: ... he's pretty okay

Mingyu: UH YEAH HE IS AND HES OURS SO BACK OFF

Jaehyun: fucking calm down

Jaehyun: its not like im doing anything

Jaehyun: and besides

Jaehyun: @DK did you suddenly forget your crush on Taehyung now?

Jungkook: ON WHO

DK: he was literally voted most handsome face in the world

DK: who wouldnt have a crush on him

Jungkook: listen

Jungkook: true
Jungkook: but i will beat up anyone who comes close to any of my boyfriends

Jungkook: understand lee seokmin???

Mingyu: (says the guy with the huge thirst over jaebum)

Jungkook: you fucker

Yugyeom: OVER WHO NOW

Bambam: AND YOURE CALLING ME OUT??

Jungkook: IM SORRY

Jungkook: HES JUST

Jungkook: ADORABLE

Yugyeom: YEAH HE IS

Yugyeom: AND OURS

Bambam: SO BACK OFF YOU HORNY FUCKERS

Jaehyun: YOU STARTED THIS

Jaehyun: IF ANYTHING YOURE THE KING OF HORNINESS

Lostboy: WHAT HE SAID

DK: ^!!!

Bambam: ight so maybe thats true

Mingyu: maybe?

Bambam: shut.

Bambam: anyways

Yugyeom: you know what

Yugyeom: how about we shut this conversation and everyone leaves and hangs out with the
boyfriends or something

Yugyeom: and never reopen it again?

Bambam: sounds good to me!

Bambam: and it has nothing to do with the way yug is glaring at me from across the living room

DK: okay then

Jaehyun: fine

Jungkook: okay

Jaehyun: but we havent even discussed mingyus crush on mark

Yugyeom: HIS WHAT

Mingyu: OH FOR FUCKS SAKE

 Of Trips and Tricks
Chapter Summary

GoldKomorebi asked: "Can you make a chapter where all their boyfriends are freaking
out bc the 97 line leaves their regular gc and go MIA for a whole day. Meanwhile the
97 line are being Crackheads on a spontaneously trip to Jeju island"

Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

97-Liners Groupchat

Jungkook: hey guys

Jungkook: i have a great idea

Jaehyun: oh no

DK: Good lord

Yugyeom: what now?

GOT7 Groupchat

JB: has anyone seen yug and bam??

Jinyoung: no? Werent they at the studio??

JB: i was just there and they werent???

Mark: maybe they went out?

JB: ive tried calling them but no answer

JB: theyve been silent all day

Youngjae: all day??

Youngjae: oh no

Jackson: maybe theyre with their friends!!

Jackson: I'll text Namjoon maybe theyre with kook

~

BTS Groupchat

Namjoon: has anyone seen kook??

Namjoon: he's not answering me

Yoongi: isn't he at the dorm

Taehyung: no?? Isnt he at the dance studio??

Hoseok: no??

Namjoon: jackson just texted me asking about yugyeom and bambam

Namjoon: theyre missing too

Jimin: i havent seen him all day

Jin: WHAT??

Seventeen Groupchat

Seungcheol: WHAT DO YOU MEAN 3 OF MY MEMBERS ARE MISSING

Woozi: ive been fucking looking for mingyu all day to see this verse with him and he!

Woozi: just!

Woozi: fucking!

Woozi: vanished!

Jun: i cant find minghao or seokmin either and they wont answer me

Seungcheol: HAVE YOU CHECKED THE DORMS

Seungkwan: YES

Seungcheol: THE STUDIOS

Hoshi: YES

Seungcheol: THE ENTIRE FUCKING COMPOUND

Chan: YES
Seungcheol: TF

NCT Groupchat

Taeyong: you mean to tell me

Taeyong: no one has seen jaehyun all day???

Yuta: damn i forget how scary he gets when hes angry

Taeyong: answer the fucking question.

Yuta: NO SIR

Johnny: we searched everywhere sir

Winwin: he wont answer his phone either

Taeyong: WHERE THE FUCK COULD HE HAVE DISAPPEARED TO

Haechan: we dont know sir

Taeyong: DID HE JUST VANISH OUT OF THIN AIR?

Leaders Groupchat

*Namjoon added JB*

*Namjoon added Taeyong*

*Namjoon added Seungcheol*

Namjoon: lets skip the formalities

Namjoon: I talked to Jackson and I found out the kook yugyeom and bambam are missing

Taeyong: Jaehyuns missing too wtf

Seungcheol: I HAVE 3 MEMBERS MISSING

JB: You think theyre all together???

Namjoon: well judging by this reaction

Namjoon: i have a feeling they might be

JB: Those two are so dead when they get back home.

Seungcheol: Murder sounds so good right now

Taeyong: ^

Namjoon: sigh

Namjoon: if only we could figure out where the fuck they went to

97-Liners Groupchat

Lostboy: hey guys

Lostboy: do you think our boyfriends will murder us?

Bambam: think???

Bambam: they defo will

Jungkook: i know for a fact jin hyung will pounce on me the moment i get back so im wearing
protective gear

Jaehyun: taeyongs probably having a field day

DK: and you think seungcheol isnt??

DK: oh boy

Mingyu: meh might as well enjoy now!!

Yugyeom: TRUEE

Yugyeom: GUYS PARASAILING IS FREE NOW

Lostboy: COMING

Jungkook: ^

Jaehyun: ^

Bambam: ^

DK: ^

Mingyu: ^
~

Leaders Groupchat

JB: anyone heard anything yet?

Taeyong: no

Namjoon: ^

Seungcheol: ^

97-Liners Groupchat

Bambam: I have an idea

Jungkook: fuck no

Bambam: and you will thank me for it.

DK: FUCK NO

The Next Day

97-Liners Groupchat

Jaehyun: I cant believe im saying this but

Jaehyun: @Bambam wow you were right

Jaehyun: the moment everyone saw the outfit all thoughts flew to their dicks

Mingyu: no kidding

Mingyu: the moment seungcheol saw the garters i think he almost passed out

Yugyeom: right??

Yugyeom: JB couldnt get past the skirt

Jaehyun: what about kook @Jungkook

Jungkook: lemme be real with you chief

Jungkook: i won't be walking for the next 3 days

 Jungkook: i won't be moving from my bed the next 3 days

Lostboy: SAME

Yugyeom: rip in peace

DK: @Bambam you were actually useful for once

Bambam: i saved all of your asses thats what

Lostboy: more like broke all of our asses

Bambam: technicalities

Leaders Groupchat

Seungcheol: so turns out they were all in jeju island having fun!

JB: I mean they deserve a day off don't you think so??

Taeyong: absolutely!

Namjoon: uh huh

Namjoon: what did your dongsaengs do to you

Taeyong: police uniform

JB: skirts

Seungcheol: garters

Namjoon: panties

Taeyong: wait did we all just get tricked??

JB: ...

Chapter End Notes

Hope I did you justice!!

 Of Compliments and Aggression
Chapter Summary

In which, a compliment battle sparks up.

Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

97-Liners Groupchat

Yugyeom: I HAVE TO GET THIS OFF OF MY CHEST

Yugyeom: @Jungkook WHAT THE FUCK

Yugyeom: WHAT KIND OF SICK FUCKER ROLLS IN SLOW MOTION

Yugyeom: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK YOU TALENTED SHITHEAD

Jungkook: WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME

Jungkook: WHAT ABOUT YOU HUH

Jungkook: HIT THE STAGE???????

Jungkook: WHO THE FUCK FALLS LIKE THAT

Jungkook: LIKE SOME POSSESSED DANCE GOD

Yugyeom: DONT LOOK AT ME

Yugyeom: THATS JAE

Yugyeom: CHERRY BOMB??

Jaehyun: HEY HEY

Jaehyun: IT WAS THE CHOREO OKAY

Jungkook: THE CHOREO WITH THE FALLING AND THE SPLITS HUH

Jungkook: FLEXIBLE BASTARD

Jaehyun: ME? WHAT ABOUT THOSE 3 HUH

Jaehyun: @Mingyu @Lostboy @DK

Jaehyun: TELL ME WHO THE FUCK CASUALLY JUMPS IN THE AIR

Jaehyun: TWIRLS

Jaehyun: FALL BACK DOWN CROUCHING

Jaehyun: IN PERFECT SYNC

Lostboy: WHAT DID WE DO

Yugyeom: GET OVER HERE FUCKING SYNC GODS

DK: DONT LOOK AT US

DK: LOOK AT THE MARTIAL ARTS FREAK

DK: @Bambam

DK: WHO THE FUCK PRACTICALLY DOES MARTIAL ARTS ON STAGE AND STILL
LOOKS FUCKING FABULOUS HUH

Lostboy: FUCKING WITCHERY I DEMAND ANSWERS

Bambam: WHAT I DO

Bambam: FUCKING SHOUT AT YOURSELVES BEFORE YOU SHOUT AT ME YOU

GIFTED PIECES OF SHIT

Jungkook: DONT YELL AT US YOU DESERVE IT

Mingyu: wow if this isnt the most aggressive compliment battle ive ever seen

Jaehyun: YOU GET OVER HERE YOU CHARISMATIC BASTARD

Mingyu: ME?

Jungkook: YEAH YOU

Mingyu: OH YOU'RE GOING DOWN

Mingyu: [image]

Mingyu: saw this and thought bam would look good in this

Mingyu: bc hello??? How can anyone be so fabulous??

Bambam: excuse me???

Bambam: have you seen yourself???

Bambam: with that height???

Bambam: and that smirk???

Mingyu: shut up you handsome fucker

Bambam: i wont fucking shut up @Yugyeom back me up here

Yugyeom: Bam is absolutely right

Yugyeom: fuck you

Mingyu: im sorry????

Mingyu: your eyes???

Mingyu: fuck you???

Yugyeom: my eyes???

Yugyeom: are you fucking mistaking them for kooks bambi eyes??

Jungkook: my what????

Yugyeom: your fucking huge stunning doe eyes

Jungkook: what the fuck

Bambam: uh yeah?? The make you look like a fucking baby bunny

Jungkook: Im not cute

Jungkook: @Lostboy's cute not me you blind fuckers

Lostboy: who's cute???

Mingyu: yeah you

Mingyu: fucking adorable

Lostboy: fuck no

Lostboy: seok's smile is adorable

Lostboy: not my face

 Lostboy: what the fuck is wrong with you

DK: My smile

DK: TF

DK: Are you high on some shit???

Jaehyun: Tf is wrong with you

Jaehyun: did you suddenly go blind you cute fucker??

DK: ME?!

DK: IM SORRY

DK: LOOK WHOS TALKING

DK: THE MAN WHO OOZES SEX WHEN HE WALKS

Jaehyun: WHAT THE FUCK I DO NOT

Yugyeom: YEAH YOU FUCKING DO

Jungkook: IF I WASNT YOUR FRIEND I WOULDVE POPPED A BONER WHEN

WATCHING YOUR COMEBACK STAGES SO SHUT UP

Jaehyun: YOU'RE ONE TO TALK

Jaehyun: YOU'RE ALL ONES TO TALK

Jaehyun: I CANT DEAL WITH YOU HANDSOME BASTARDS

Bambam: UGH

DK: FINE

Lostboy: SUIT YOURSELVES

Jungkook: FINE BY ME

Yugyeom: UNAPPRECIATIVE FUCKERS

Mingyu: FUCK ALL THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE HERE

Bambam: FUCK YOURSELF

Chapter End Notes

I sometimes legit compliment my friends that way.
 Of Sickness and Health
Chapter Summary

anon asked: "maybe them reacting to/comforting kook who was really sick at sma
2019? cos they were all there..? or something I don't know i just kind of want a rly soft
chapter after all this crazy hahaha"

Chapter Notes

Fluff ahead!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

DK: Good luck everyone today!!

Yugyeom: you too!!

Lostboy: ^!!

Jaehyun: Good luck everyone :))

Mingyu: same to you!!

Bambam: ^^^^

Lostboy: where's kook?

Lostboy: he usually talks on the group before occasions like these

Lostboy: I havent heard from him all day

Jaehyun: he's probably busy with preps

Yugyeom: ^

Mingyu: has anyone seen kook?

Mingyu: he didnt look good

Yugyeom: he's strained himself too much

Jaehyun: he looked ready to pass out on stage

Lostboy: he looks tired :(

DK: is he sick?

Bambam: GUYS

Bambam: I just ran into kook in the toilets

Bambam: hes not okay

Bambam: i had to support him until he reached his manager

Yugyeom: WHAT

Mingyu: whats wrong with him???

Bambam: he seemed really dizzy and disoriented

DK: should we help??

Jaehyun: i think its best to leave him with his hyungs rn

Jaehyun: theres not much we can do

Lostboy: i hate that youre right :(

DK: Its a good thing bam found and helped him tho

Bambam: hes one of my bestfriends of course ill help him

Jungkook: hey guys

Jungkook: @Bambam thank you

Yugyeom: KOOKIE

Yugyeom: YOURE ALIVE

DK: you really worried us man

Lostboy: are you feeling any better??

Jungkook: a bit yeah

Jungkook: aw i didnt know you guys cared that much!

Mingyu: i know thats meant as a joke but yeah we do kook

Mingyu: i had my heart in my throat when i saw you stumble on stage

Jaehyun: you really need to stop pushing yourself to the limit kook

Jungkook: yeah i know

Jungkook: i cant help it im sorry

Jungkook: anyways im on bed rest for the next 2 days

Jungkook: my hyungs wont let me move

Bambam: good

Bambam: i nearly panicked when i saw you in the toilets

Jungkook: im sorry for worrying all of you

Yugyeom: bam and i will try to pass by if we can

DK: its okay kook but please take care of yourself

DK: Rest.

DK: we know you you little shit

Jungkook: yes sir

Lostboy: take your meds!

Lostboy: eat your soup!

Jungkook: yes mom

Mingyu: get well soon kookie!!

Jaehyun: listen to your hyungs okay?

Jungkook: ah come on jae

Jungkook: when do i not?

Bambam: really kook?

 Bambam: youre sometimes worse than me

Jungkook: pft

Jungkook: guys you really didnt have to send get well soon gifts

Lostboy: you do it to us all the time so shush

Jaehyun: its practically tradition by now

Jungkook: fuck you i didnt want to get emotional

Bambam: awww is kookie touched?

Jungkook: shut up

Mingyu: we love you too kook

Jungkook: no shut up

DK: just accept it dumbass

Jungkook: i love you guys too

Chapter End Notes

Probably the fluffiest chapter of this fic.

I wanted to build up the crack base a bit before adding some fluff into this!

Hope I did you justice!

 Of Dares and Dares
Chapter Summary

Dawnbreak55 asked: "Or like,, maybe just another chapter where the groups are
absolutely done with their crackheadery mess but they dont care and continue causing
trouble,,,, like maybe they played truth or dare or smth and they have to play pranks or
seduce members in practice or smth"

Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

97-Liners Groupchat

Lostboy: @Jaehyun Im lost again

Jaehyun: again???

Lostboy: Im lost in your eyes baby

Jaehyun: wtf

Yugyeom: uh

Lostboy: WKALSNKA IM SORRY SEOK AND MIN DARED ME TO DO IT

Mingyu: THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL AHAHHAHAHA

DK: AMAZING

Jungkook: you fuckers are playing truth or dare??

Jungkook: without us??

Yugyeom: how fucking dare you

Jaehyun: absolute mad lad

DK: ALRIGHT

Bambam: whats going on

DK: TRUTH OR DARE FUCKER

Bambam: DARE ME BITCHES

Lostboy: Stick your finger in your ass and lick it

Lostboy: WITH PROOF

Lostboy: and no yug that does not give you an excuse to rim him

Yugyeom: fucking hell

Bambam: [video]

Bambam: PROOF ENOUGH FOR YA

Jaehyun: MY EYES WTF

Bambam: YALL ASKED FOR PROOF

Jungkook: thats fucking nasty

Yugyeom: idk what you guys are complaining about thats a glorious ass in my opinion

Mingyu: HANDS OFF OF YOUR DICK YUG

Yugyeom: FINE

Jaehyun: you guys are nasty

Bambam: MY TURN

Bambam: JEON JUNGKOOK

Bambam: TRUTH OR DARE

Jungkook: DARE ME

Bambam: i dare you to go to Yoongi hyung and beg him to fuck you while calling him master

DK: that is disgusting.

DK: BRILLIANT

Jungkook: LMAO HES GONNA BE SCARRED

Jungkook: ALRIGHT

Jaehyun: where'd he disappear to?

Mingyu: no clue
Mingyu: kook?

Jungkook: RIGHT HERE

Jungkook: [video]

Yugyeom: LMAOOOOOO

Yugyeom: DID HE REALLY LOCK HIMSELF IN HIS ROOM

Jungkook: YES

Lostboy: LOOK AT HOW RED HE IS

Bambam: AMAZING

BTS Groupchat

Yoongi: JEON JUNGKOOK DON'T YOU DARE DO THAT EVER AGAIN

Jungkook: sorry master

Hoseok: WTF

Jimin: EW WTF KOOK

Namjoon: I felt bile in my throat

Jin: since when the fuck were you into master kink

Taehyung: kooks into master kink?

Jungkook: nah hyungs

Jungkook: only with my only master yoongi <3333

Yoongi: FUCK YOU

Jungkook: [image]

Jungkook: @Jaehyun you should try this on taeyong sometime

Jungkook: he'll freak

Mingyu: YES DO IT @Jaehyun

Jaehyun: maybe i will ;)

DK: ATTA BOY

Jungkook: SQUARE UP SEOKMIN

Jungkook: TRUTH OR DARE

Jaehyun: what's the point of asking the question if we all end up choosing dare anyway

Yugyeom: huh

Yugyeom: point

Mingyu: its tradition so shut up

DK: DARE

Jungkook: remember that wolf mask you got like 3 halloweens back?

DK: yep

Jungkook: wear that

Jungkook: hide in hoshi-hyungs closet and jumpscare the fuck out of him

DK: ...

DK: you want me to die tonight don't you

Bambam: would it be truth or dare if atleast one of us didnt die

Mingyu: hes got a point there

DK: Alright fine

Lostboy: i got the camera!

DK: I like the flowers to be pink at my funeral

Jungkook: dont worry about it

Yugyeom: rip in peace

Seventeen Groupchat
Hoshi: LEE SEOKMIN

Hoshi: YOU OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT THIS INSTANT OR YOU'LL REGRET IT

Vernon: I heard screaming??

DK: SORRY HYUNG

DK: NO CAN DO

Hoshi: IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU

97-Liners Groupchat

Lostboy: [image]

Lostboy: so yeah seok and i are now trapped in the bathroom

Bambam: LMAOOOOO

Bambam: HOW DID IT GO

Lostboy: see for yourself

Lostboy: [video]

Jungkook: HAHAHAHHAHAHA

Yugyeom: LOOK AT HIS FACE

DK: How long do you think ming and i are gonna be trapped here?

Mingyu: judging by what we saw and the groupchat?

Mingyu: make yourselves comfy babes

DK: HEY YOURE PLAYING TOO

DK: HOW COME YOURE NOT TRAPPED WITH US HUH

Lostboy: YEAH

Mingyu: bc you need someone to keep you updated?

Lostboy: shit youre right

DK: ....fine.
DK: JUNG YOONOH

DK: YOUR TURN

DK: I WONT BE THE ONLY ONE DYING TONIGHT

Jaehyun: ....

Jaehyun: i know this won't end well

Jaehyun: and yet

Jaehyun: dare me

Mingyu: you wouldnt be part of this group if you didnt choose dare babe

Jaehyun: i sincerely hate that you're right

DK: how do we feel about filling the entire dorm with balloons?

Jaehyun: consider it done.

Jaehyun: im gonna need help tho

Yugyeom: WE'LL HELP

Bambam: YUP

NCT Groupchat

Taeil: WHAT THE FUCK

Taeil: WHY IS OUR DORM OVERFLOWING WITH BALLOONS

Taeyong: WHAT

Taeil: [image]

Doyoung: Wtf

Doyoung: where the fuck are we supposed to keep all of these????

Taeyong: WHO DID THIS

Taeyong: DID YOU DO IT @Lucas

Taeyong: I SWEAR TO GOD

Lucas: I SWEAR I DIDNT

Lucas: I WAS WITH THE DREAMIES ALL DAY

Taeyong: wait a minute

Taeyong: lucas was with the dreamies

Taeyong: the rest of us were in the studios

Taeyong: and only jaehyun stayed back in the dorm....

Taeyong: JUNG YOONOH

Jaehyun: yeeees?

Jungwoo: oh shit

Jungwoo: rip in peace

Taeyong: GET OVER HERE THIS INSTANT

Jaehyun: I think I'm good

97-Liners Groupchat

Jaehyun: [image]

Jaehyun: please have a wooden casket prepared

Jaehyun: thank you

Bambam: WE COMPLETELY FILLED THE PLACE

Yugyeom: CHECK THIS OUT

Yugyeom: [video]

Jungkook: YOOO THATS AWESOME

Lostboy: NICE

DK: AMAZING

Mingyu: HHAHAHAHAH
 Jaehyun: ALRIGHT

Jaehyun: WHOS THE NEXT BASTARDS TURN

Chapter End Notes

Why is coming up with different dares so hard

Why is digital art so hard
Why is everything so hard
What a mess
Anyways, hope you like it!!
 Of Names and Changes
Chapter Summary

In which, names get changed.

Chapter Notes

Usernames:

Greekgod: Jaehyun
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Lostboy: The8
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
Megaphone: DK
Thaibaby: Bambam
KookieMonster: Jungkook

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

Lostboy: so like why am I the only one with the non-generic username

Jaehyun: generic???

Jaehyun: those are our names???

Lostboy: exactly

Lostboy: generic

Lostboy: look

*Lostboy changed Jaehyun's username to Daddy*

Daddy: MINGHAO WTF

Bambam: yoo

Bambam: hes not wrong tho ;)

Daddy: Im

Daddy: @Yugyeom @DK @Mingyu control your respective boyfriends

Yugyeom: I would but I lowkey (highkey) agree

Mingyu: I think we all agree here

DK: Im not saying theyre right

DK: but thats exactly what im saying

Daddy: fucking hell

Daddy: @Jungkook back me up here

Jungkook: sure daddy

Daddy: I sincerely hate you all.

*Daddy changed his username Jay*

Jay: Nobody fucking touch it

Bambam: boring

*Bambam changed Jay's username to Greekgod*

Greekgod: ....

Bambam: hes handsome and hes got the muscles

Bambam: sue me

DK: point.

Yugyeom: very fitting in my opinion

Mingyu: exquisite

Jungkook: ^^^

Greekgod: I'll let it pass.

Lostboy: HE LIKES IT HA

Greekgod: yeah okay

*Greekgod changed Yugyeom's username to HitTheYug*

HitTheYug: I aint even mad

HitTheYug: I nailed that show

DK: Thats the spirit!

DK: oo i have one!

*DK changed Mingyu's username to EiffelPuppy*

EiffelPuppy: um

EiffelPuppy: okay??

DK: you dont like it pup?

EiffelPuppy: no no i love it!!

Jungkook: I dont know whether to scream whipped or exposed

Greekgod: pup huh

EiffelPuppy: shut up

Lostboy: oh big time

Bambam: sure pup ;)

EiffelPuppy: FUCK YOU

HitTheYug: gotta admit

HitTheYug: suits him

HitTheYug: @Bambam how do you think jackson would react if we called him pup

Bambam: ....

Bambam: we so need to do that

Jungkook: Film it pls

Bambam: you got it

*EiffelPuppy changed Bambam's username Thaibaby*

Thaibaby: eh

Thaibaby: works i guess

EiffelPuppy: you complaining?

Thaibaby: no sir

*Thaibaby changed DK's username to Megaphone*

Megaphone: ????

Lostboy: you are LOUD

Megaphone: AM NOT

EiffelPuppy: you really want me to prove that here?

Megaphone: no...

Jungkook: I KNEW HE WAS VOCAL

Megaphone: what the actual fuck

HitTheYug: please seok weve all heard you makeout with minghao or mingyu before

Greekgod: "follow the yellow brick road!"

Greekgod: *follow seokmin's moans!

Megaphone: are you done mocking me now

Lostboy: aw dont be so bitter babe

Megaphone: geniunely hop off my dick

Lostboy: but im warming it

HitTheYug: YOURE WHAT

Greekgod: TMI MING

Jungkook: y'all are seriously nasty

HitTheYug: you

*HitTheYug changed Jungkook's username to KookieMonster*

KookieMonster: i think its quite cute

KookieMonster: not bad yug

HitTheYug: anytime man

 KookieMonster: you do have braincells after all

Megaphone: LMAOOO

Lostboy: HAHAHAHHA

Greekgod: HAHAHAHAHHHA

HitTheYug: can we just go one day

HitTheYug: one day

HitTheYug: without murdering anyone in this group

Thaibaby: @KookieMonster who requested this

Thaibaby: [video]

HitTheYug: JACKSON LOVED THE NICKNAME

EiffelPuppy: Haaa looks like im not the only one suckers

Thaibaby: THAT WAS GENIUS

Thaibaby: WHY DIDNT WE THINK OF IT BEFORE

KookieMonster: HAHA LOOK AT HIM ALL FLUSTERED

HitTheYug: @Thaibaby LETS GET HIM A COLLAR

Greekgod: Aaaaaand I'm out

Chapter End Notes

Bonjour bonjour!
First, Aladdin is a great movie and screw anyone who says otherwise
Second, I wonder how long these usernames will last before I mess up and ruin them
lmao

Short chapter bc I'm kinda confused on how to approach this fic in the next chapters
but anyways hope you like it :)
 Of Injuries and Insecurities
Chapter Summary

1231pm asked: "maybe you could do one where one of them gets hurt or is sad, and
they all immediately become Protective Best Friend mode and all take care of the one
who is hurt? (:"

elenoe1 asked: "And a bit inspired by the last chapter: Minghao’s back has been
hurting and the group chat finds out he practiced dancing by him self"

Chapter Notes

Greekgod: Jaehyun
KookieMonster: Jungkook
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
Megaphone: DK
Lostboy: The8
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

KookieMonster: @Thaibaby @Lostboy we still up for today yeah?

Thaibaby: yup

Lostboy: um

Lostboy: I might have to cancel

KookieMonster: what?? why??

Lostboy: i forgot i had something to do!!

KookieMonster: Ming please

KookieMonster: its one of my only free days and I really want to see you guys

KookieMonster: the rest are busy except you and bam

KookieMonster: pleaseeee
Thaibaby: anything wrong ming?

Lostboy: no!

Lostboy: im fine!

Thaibaby: you sure?

Lostboy: yeah

Lostboy: ill meet you guys at 1

KookieMonster: okay!

Thaibaby: yall are welcome to join if youre free @Greekgod @EiffelPuppy @Megaphone
@HitTheYug

Thaibaby: @Megaphone @EiffelPuppy

Thaibaby: answer us goddamit

EiffelPuppy: we couldnt take calls

EiffelPuppy: whats wrong???

KookieMonster: would you like to finally fucking join us at the hospital?

KookieMonster: Minghao hurt his back and none of your group fucking answered

Megaphone: WHAT?!

Megaphone: WHEN

Thaibaby: if he wasnt hurt Im this close to beating him I swear to god

Thaibaby: you two get the fuck here and dont tell anyone from your group

EiffelPuppy: I just left the building

EiffelPuppy: seok??

Megaphone: on my way

Greekgod: what happened???

HitTheYug: what the fuck

HitTheYug: bam send the address

KookieMonster: no no its okay you dont have to leave your schedules

Greekgod: send the fucking address kook

Greekgod: hes one of our bestfriends so shut the fuck up

Thaibaby: [Location]

Lostboy: @Thaibaby @Greekgod @HitTheYug @KookieMonster

Lostboy: thank you guys for coming

Lostboy: im sorry for ruining your day

Greekgod: bro dont

Greekgod: we wouldve done it for anyone here

HitTheYug: its true

HitTheYug: but now you wanna tell us the real reason you hurt your back?

Megaphone: this i'm dying to fucking know

EiffelPuppy: don't fucking think we believed your sorry excuse of "tripping"

KookieMonster: i have a feeling what it could he

KookieMonster: but theres no use to be angry guys

Thaibaby: he's right

Thaibaby: @Lostboy you know you can tell us anything right?

Megaphone: I'm sorry

Megaphone: but we were really worried

EiffelPuppy: we love you sweetheart

Lostboy: alright

Lostboy: please dont tell the rest of our group

Lostboy: i hurt my back while practicing dance yesterday night

EiffelPuppy: you've been over praticing again??

Lostboy: yes

Lostboy: im sorry

Megaphone: babe we've talked about this

Megaphone: why?

KookieMonster: because he doesnt feel up to standards

KookieMonster: right?

Greekgod: come on ming dont hide anymore

Lostboy: yeah

Lostboy: because I feel like my dancing sucks compared to all of you

EiffelPuppy: you know thats not true

Megaphone: I literally take tips by watching you dance

Megaphone: (dont tell hoshi hyung)

HitTheYug: I think this is something you should discuss in person

KookieMonster: as someone whos been in this position i agree

KookieMonster: your members are here to help you ming

KookieMonster: please trust me

Megaphone: we'll talk to you guys later

Thaibaby: i wonder how things went

KookieMonster: im sure its fine

Greekgod: hey kook

Greekgod: is it true you've been through this

KookieMonster: oh yeah
KookieMonster: i was maybe even worse

KookieMonster: debuting at a young age isnt easy

KookieMonster: and being the youngest of the group?

KookieMonster: even worse

KookieMonster: i sprained my ankle while practicing once

HitTheYug: and howd you get over it?

KookieMonster: my members were there for me

KookieMonster: that night after the hospital trip we all sat down and had a heart to heart

KookieMonster: and I understood that i dont need to be perfect

KookieMonster: but tbh the tendency never goes away

KookieMonster: so they keep me in check

KookieMonster: we all keep each other in check

Thaibaby: thats actually really sweet

KookieMonster: @Greekgod be nice to the dreamies

Greekgod: yeah

Greekgod: i wouldnt dream of being otherwise

HitTheYug: so after the heart to heart

HitTheYug: did yall do the nasty ;)))

KookieMonster: I WAS UNDERAGE YOU DISGUSTING FUCKER

Thaibaby: babe even i didnt make the comment

Thaibaby: what is wrong with you

EiffelPuppy: we had a long talk

EiffelPuppy: eventually we told the rest if the members and you guys can imagine the reaction

EiffelPuppy: but seok and i read your convo @KookieMonster and we took your advice
 EiffelPuppy: [image]

Thaibaby: aww look at them!

Thaibaby: they look adorable sleeping

Greekgod: so everythings good im guessing?

EiffelPuppy: yeah

EiffelPuppy: seok and jun refuse to let him go

KookieMonster: good bc if your group upset him i was ready to throw fists

KookieMonster: understand??

HitTheYug: me too huh

Thaibaby: ^^^

Greekgod: ^^^

EiffelPuppy: jeez you guys act like youre his boyfriends

Thaibaby: well i wont deny id tap that ass

EiffelPuppy: you fucker

KookieMonster: aw dont worry gyu

KookieMonster: id tap yours ;)

EiffelPuppy: ... you fucker

Greekgod: like you wouldnt tap mine?

EiffelPuppy: ... you got me there.

HitTheYug: LMAOOOO

Chapter End Notes

Oof that was long to write. And emotional.

I hope I did you guys justice!!

Now back to me drawing Yoongi :)

 Of Pranks and Wars Pt. 1
Chapter Summary

1231pm said: "fbsmflsld now this just makes me want a prank war chapter omg."

Chapter Notes

Greekgod: Jaehyun
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
Thaibaby: Bambam
KookieMonster: Jungkook
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Megaphone: DK
Lostboy: The8

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: [image]

Greekgod: I FUCKING KNOW IT WAS ONE OF YOU FUCKERS

Greekgod: WHICH ONE OF YOU SENT THE DILDO

HitTheYug: LMAOOOO

Thaibaby: HAHAHAHAHHA

EiffelPuppy: HAHAHAHAHAHAH

Megaphone: Like it jae?

Megaphone: ;)

Greekgod: IM GONNA MURDER YOU

Megaphone: hey hey dont look at me babe

Megaphone: it was a joint collaboration

Lostboy: All mingyus idea

Lostboy: which was genius

Greekgod: ARE YOU TRYING TO START SOME SORT OF WAR

Thaibaby: oooo

Thaibaby: why?

Thaibaby: scared jae?

Greekgod: You fucking wish.

EiffelPuppy: as if he can prank us better

Greekgod: is that a challenge Kim fucking Mingyu?

KookieMonster: ooo i smell competition

EiffelPuppy: fucking bring it coward

Greekgod: Alright

Greekgod: I propose a prank war.

HitTheYug: a prank war you say?

Megaphone: Rules?

Greekgod: First of all anyone here wants to back out like the coward they are?

KookieMonster: Fuck no

Lostboy: over my dead body

Thaibaby: what they said

Megaphone: Im in

HitTheYug: sign me up

EiffelPuppy: get on with it bitch

Greekgod: Okay then

Greekgod: Teams: seventeen members vs got7 members vs me and kook

Greekgod: For fairness

Greekgod: Anyone opposes?

HitTheYug: sounds good to us

EiffelPuppy: Ditto

KookieMonster: awesome

Thaibaby: wait hey are we seriously just grouping together the two most athletic guys together

KookieMonster: shut up atleast you guys live together

Thaibaby: Fine.

Greekgod: Full freedom unless life threatening

Greekgod: culprits must take responsibility of the prank if it involves unsuspecting members

Greekgod: Last one to back out is the winner

Greekgod: Losers have to act as servants to the winners on another trip to jeju island paid fully by
them and won't be allowed on any activities or swims

Greekgod: Those are the rules

Lostboy: you're all fucking going down

HitTheYug: in your dreams fucker.

KookieMonster: we'll see about that.

BTS Groupchat

Jin: JEON JUNGKOOK

Jin: DID YOU FUCKING USE MY CHOPSTICKS

Jungkook: what??

Jungkook: no?

Jin: YOU DID

Jin: THEY TOLD ME

Jungkook: I didnt hyung!

Jimin: oh shit
Namjoon: kook-ah you're dead

Taehyung: even i didnt touch those

Hoseok: fuck

Yoongi: it was nice knowing you kook

97-Liners Groupchat

KookieMonster: [image]

KookieMonster: DID YOU FUCKERS TELL JIN I USED HIS SACRED CHOPSTICKS

KookieMonster: ARE YOU FUCKING TRYING TO GET ME KILLED

Thaibaby: feeling threatened bitch boy?

KookieMonster: by you?

KookieMonster: never

KookieMonster: by jin hyung?

KookieMonster: Yeah i am fuck you

KookieMonster: thanks to you im gonna get the ass whooping of a lifetime

HitTheYug: its never too late for you and jae to back out sweetheart ;)

KookieMonster: id rather get demolished than admit defeat

Greekgod: and this is why you're my partner

Lostboy: wait are those the chopsticks?

Lostboy: the custom-made ones with the diamonds and his initials?

KookieMonster: YES

Megaphone: honey you are fucked

KookieMonster: you fucking wait.

HitTheYug: if you're still alive ;)

~
EiffelPuppy: you're gonna pay for this.

EiffelPuppy: [image]

Lostboy: I HAVE GLITTER IN MY FUCKING LUNGS

Megaphone: Seungcheol is gonna fucking freak when he sees this mess

Megaphone: A GLITTER BOMB?

Megaphone: REALLY?!

Greekgod: kook and i thought you three needed some sparkle on your lives

KookieMonster: a shine

Lostboy: how about mY NUNCHUCKS UP YOUR ASSES

KookieMonster: goodluck getting that glitter out of your ass ;)

EiffelPuppy: you fuckers

Seventeen Groupchat

Seungcheol: WHY IS MY DORM COVERED IN HOT PINK GLITTER

Seungcheol: WHO DID THIS

Seungcheol: BETTER STEP UP OR YOU WON'T BE HAPPY

Joshua: @Mingyu @DK @The8

Joshua: you three wanna step up?

DK: we're sorry hyungs

The8: we didnt mean to cause a mess!

Mingyu: sorry hyungs

Seungcheol: you three are going to clean every millimeter in this dorm

Seungcheol: i want it SPOTLESS

Seungcheol: you have an hour and then we'll discuss your other punishment.

The8: yes hyung.

 Mingyu: yes hyung.

DK: yes hyung.

~
97-Liners Groupchat

Lostboy: [image]

Lostboy: god knows what other punishments he has

Lostboy: its gonna be a bitch to remove

Greekgod: better get to work then ;)

Megaphone: i fucking hate you

EiffelPuppy: sleep with one eye open.

Chapter End Notes

Wow i havent updated in almost a week yikes

Its been a busy week so sorry about that!!
I started uni again :(
But anyways
 Of Pranks and Wars Pt.2
Chapter Summary

Aira_Loves_Herself asked: "Can you do something with 'Pranks and-Wait this wasn't
the plan!'"

Chapter Notes

Greekgod: Jaehyun
KookieMonster: Jungkook
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Megaphone: DK
Lostboy: The8

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Private chat: Mingyu and Jaebum

Mingyu: hi hyung!

Mingyu: are bam and yug in the dorm?

Mingyu: they arent answering their phones

JB: hey mingyu

JB: no they aren't

JB: do you need anything?

Mingyu: well

Mingyu: seok ming and i were supposed head over to your dorm like now so we can hang out with
bam and yug

Mingyu: but they arent answering us so i guess its off now :(((

JB: oh no sweetheart its okay

JB: I can talk to them of you want?

Mingyu: no its okay hyung

Mingyu: problem is we were already on our way :/

JB: how about this?

JB: I have schedules in about half an hour but I'm at the dorm rn

JB: so i'll let you guys in and you can wait for the boys and then I leave

Mingyu: really?

Mingyu: you wouldnt mind hyung?

JB: nah it's alright!

JB: but you won't mind staying alone for a while yeah?

Mingyu: no its alright!

Mingyu: thank you hyung!!

JB: anytime :)

97-Liners Groupchat

Thaibaby: what.

Thaibaby: the.

Thaibaby: actual.

Thaibaby: fuck.

Thaibaby: [image]

Thaibaby: [image]

Thaibaby: WHAT THE FUCK

HitTheYug: WHAT THE FUCK

HitTheYug: ON THE CEILING????

HitTheYug: HOW THE FUCK

HitTheYug: WHY THE FUCK

Megaphone: hope you loved our suprise!!

Lostboy: we gotta admit

Lostboy: covering the entire room in post-its in an hour and a half wasnt easy

Thaibaby: HOW DID YOU EVEN

HitTheYug: @EiffelPuppy YOU DID THE CEILING DIDNT YOU

HitTheYug: FUCKING GIANT

EiffelPuppy: mm yeah!

EiffelPuppy: hope you liked the colors!

Thaibaby: HOW ARE WE EVEN SUPPOSED TO EXPLAIN THIS TO JB AND JINYOUNG

Megaphone: no clue!!

Megaphone: have fun with that!!

GOT7 Groupchat

Jinyoung: [image]

Jinyoung: @Bambam @Yugyeom

Jinyoung: so mind telling us exactly why your entire room is covered in post-its?

Yugyeom: um

Yugyeom: bam and i thought it would be fun to do it!!

Bambam: yeah!! A nice challenge!!

JB: Yes and what do you think manager-nims reaction gonna be when he sees this?

Bambam: fuck

JB: I want your room spotless. Understand?

Yugyeom: yes sir

Bambam: yes sir

Jinyoung: oh and do wear your maid costumes while you do it

Jinyoung: unless you want to get punished tonight?

Bambam: yes sir.

Yugyeom: yes sir.

97-Liners Groupchat

HitTheYug: [image]

HitTheYug: @Megaphone @EiffelPuppy @Lostboy

HitTheYug: i fucking hate you three so much rn

Lostboy: ;))))

Lostboy: enjoy!!

KookieMonster: MAID COSTUME LMAOOOO

KookieMonster: FUCKING GENIUS

Greekgod: i lowkey (highkey) wouldnt mind getting fucked by jinyoung

Thaibaby: i really fucking hate you all rn.

Private chat: Bambam and Yugyeom

Bambam: you're in position?

Yugyeom: yeah im on the other side

Yugyeom: are the windows open on your side?

Bambam: yeah

Yugyeom: good

Bambam: we throw the paint bombs on three

Yugyeom: 1

Yugyeom: 2
Yugyeom: 3!

Bambam: WHAT WAS THAT CRASH

Yugyeom: FUCK

Bambam: THAT WASNT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN

97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: those responsible for that last prank step up right now

HitTheYug: uh hey jae how you doing!

Thaibaby: hope everythings fine!!

KookieMonster: did you two know that I happened to be at the NCT dorms with jae?

Thaibaby: you were?

HitTheYug: fuck

Greekgod: [video]

Greekgod: thanks to your little stunt

Greekgod: you guys set off the fire alarm

Greekgod: which

Greekgod: set off the water sprinkles

Greekgod: AND DRENCHED US ALL

KookieMonster: when i get my hands on both of you you're gonna wish you weren't alive

HitTheYug: THAT WASN'T PART OF THE PLAN

Thaibaby: WE'RE SORRY

Greekgod: EXPLAIN THAT TO MY MEMBERS YOU FUCKERS

Greekgod: THE ENTIRE DORM IS FLOODED

Thaibaby: PLEASE FORGIVE US

Greekgod: THANK TO YOU TWO I WONT BE WALKING FOR THE NEXT WEEK
PROBABLY

Greekgod: I WONT BE EVEN SITTING

HitTheYug: PLEASE SPARE US PLEASEE

EiffelPuppy: oh fuck

EiffelPuppy: how does one fuck up so bad???

Megaphone: holy shit

Lostboy: im

KookieMonster: oh no sweethearts

KookieMonster: you're not off the hook

Greekgod: the hyungs are gonna be so pissed

Greekgod: fuck

97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: so the hyungs are pissed

Greekgod: and they told your hyungs @Thaibaby @HitTheYug

HitTheYug: please tell me you're joking

Thaibaby: tell us you're kidding right now.

GOT7 Groupchat

JB: @Yugyeom @Bambam

JB: I WANT YOU HERE THIS INSTANT.

97-Liners Groupchat

Thaibaby: [image]

Thaibaby: FUCK FUCK FUCK

HitTheYug: it was nice knowing you all.

Lostboy: shit

Lostboy: that doesnt look good at all

HitTheYug: NO SHIT

Thaibaby: THANKS CAPTAIN OBVIOUS

EiffelPuppy: yikes

EiffelPuppy: good luck with that

Megaphone: ouch

Thaibaby: YOU KNOW WHAT

Thaibaby: IF WE'RE GOING DOWN YOU'RE COMING DOWN WITH US

Megaphone: WHAT

Seventeen Groupchat

Hoshi: @Mingyu @The8 @DK

Hoshi: IS IT TRUE YOU SNUCK IN AND VANDALIZED GOT7'S DORM?

97-Liners Groupchat

Megaphone: [image]

Megaphone: FUCK YOU

Lostboy: GENIUNELY GO CHOKE ON A DICK

EiffelPuppy: FUCK

EiffelPuppy: OF ALL PEOPLE YOU TEXTED HOSHI HYUNG

HitTheYug: FUCKING DESERVED

KookieMonster: oh fuck

KookieMonster: looks like everyones getting killed

KookieMonster: good luck with that

Lostboy: do you really think we're gonna let you walk away as the only one unscathed in this
group?

Megaphone: it's a ride or die kook

EiffelPuppy: if everyones getting fucked then so are you

KookieMonster: please don't

KookieMonster: i'm begging you

BTS Groupchat

Namjoon: @Jungkook

Namjoon: Jeon Jungkook don't you dare deny your glitter bomb stunt in the seventeen dorms or
your punishment will be worse.

97-Liners Groupchat

KookieMonster: [image]

KookieMonster: fuck you all.

One Day Later

97-Liners Groupchat

Megaphone: how's everyone doing?

Greekgod: well

Greekgod: i can't walk

Greekgod: i can't talk

Greekgod: i can't sit

Thaibaby: i can't even switch my position on the bed

KookieMonster: i geniunely think my body cant ever produce cum ever again

HitTheYug: same chief

HitTheYug: even my eyes are protesting in pain everytime i blink

Lostboy: im on bedrest for the rest of the week

Lostboy: i think my vocal cords are torn

EiffelPuppy: you screamed so much i think my eardrums burst

EiffelPuppy: everything hurts

 EiffelPuppy: i cried so much yesterday that i cant even turn on the lights bc my eyes
are that sensitive

EiffelPuppy: Even the lowest brightness on my phone is hurting my eyes

Megaphone: i dont think my dick is functional anymore

Greekgod: so i know it was my suggestion in the beginning

Greekgod: but im thinking how about we.. pause

Greekgod: this prank war

Greekgod: you know

Greekgod: for the safety of everyone

KookieMonster: i support you partner

Lostboy: an excellent notion in my opinion

Thaibaby: not a bad idea

Megaphone: superb idea

HitTheYug: i wont deny what a good idea it is

EiffelPuppy: oh well its for the best

Greekgod: great!

Greekgod: now i'm gonna take a nap before round 11 starts

Chapter End Notes

One word: yikes

Also,
Effective. Planning.
Anyways, hope you enjoyed this update!! Its a bit too cracky and all over the place but
hopefully its good enough :)
 Of Twice and Gossip
Chapter Summary

bluenotesby13 asked: "can I suggest like a chat full of gossiping?"

Chapter Notes

EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Greekgod: Jaehyun
Lostboy: The8
Megaphone: DK
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
KookieMonster: Jungkook

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

EiffelPuppy: Y'ALL

EiffelPuppy: I CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONE WHO SAW THAT

Greekgod: ???????

EiffelPuppy: I SWEAR I SAW NAYEON AND SANA KISS

EiffelPuppy: I CAN SWEAR IT

HitTheYug: WHAT

HitTheYug: THAT CANT BE TRUE

Lostboy: I WAS THERE

Lostboy: I SAW IT TOO

Thaibaby: NO FUCKING WAY

KookieMonster: Yooooo

KookieMonster: Sana and Nayeon are dating???

HitTheYug: NO THEY'RE NOT

Greekgod: but gyu and ming just said they kissed at the MMAs

Megaphone: yeah whats up with that?? @Thaibaby @HitTheYug

Thaibaby: SANA AND NAYEON CANT BE DATING BECAUSE WE SAW SANA KISS
MINA

KookieMonster: .......

Greekgod: Mother of god

Megaphone: WHAT

Mingyu: YOU WHAT NOW

Lostbaby: WHAT THE FUCK

KookieMonster: goddamn where was i during this whole commotion

Greekgod: sucking hoseok-hyungs dick before your idol performance?

Greekgod: (amazing performance btw)

KookieMonster: ...

KookieMonster: sounds about right

KookieMonster: (thank you :'D)

KookieMonster: hyung was nervous

KookieMonster: what am i gonna do?

KookieMonster: say no?

Greekgod: you got me there

EiffelPuppy: HELLO??

EiffelPuppy: BACK TO THE MAIN POINT???

Megaphone: @HitTheYug @Thaibaby

Megaphone: YOU TWO ARE IN THE SAME COMPANY

Megaphone: YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS

HitTheYug: IM SORRY??

HitTheYug: WE BARELY SEE THEM??

HitTheYug: THEY HAVE LIKE 100000 COMEBACKS PER YEAR

KookieMonster: thats true actually

KookieMonster: i mean like

KookieMonster: we have like 2

KookieMonster: and 30 breakdowns that come with them

Greekgod: NCT U barely has one??

Greekgod: and im already tired???

KookieMonster: mood brotha

Lostboy: IM LOST

Thaibaby: arent you always?

Lostboy: SHUT.

Lostboy: ANYWAYS

Lostboy: I STILL DONT GET IT

Mingyu: ME NEITHER

HitTheYug: IS SANA LIKE SECRETLY DATING ONE OF THEM??

Megaphone: IDK

Greekgod: guys

Greekgod: ever considered they might be in a polyamorous relationship just like the rest of us are?

Mingyu: .....

Thaibaby: ....

HitTheYug: ....

Megaphone: ....

Lostboy: ....
~

Private Chat: Jungkook and Nayeon

Jungkook: hey

Nayeon: sunbaenim!!

Nayeon: hi!!

Nayeon: how are you???

Jungkook: nah quit with the sunbaenim thing im younger than you bro

Jungkook: im good!!

Jungkook: i need your help to clear up a misunderstanding

Nayeon: ??

Jungkook: [image]

Nayeon: ohhh

Nayeon: i told sana she was being obvious

Nayeon: what can i say?

Nayeon: but we are in a relationship

Nayeon: all of us

Nayeon: i hope you dont think thats too weird?

Jungkook: weird?

Jungkook: [image]

Nayeon: ALL OF YOU?

Jungkook: yup

Nayeon: that makes so much sense....

Jungkook: ??

Nayeon: like
 Nayeon: once at the MAMAs i couldve sworn I saw jackson shove his hand down marks pants

Nayeon: but i wasnt sure???

Nayeon: and then momo told me she saw Winwin and Yuta looking all disheveled while walking
together but we were like nah

Jungkook: well now you know sis

Nayeon: omg truly

Jungkook: also if you need some good making out spots in awards shows hit me up noona

Nayeon: omg thank you

Jungkook: anytime

97-Liners Groupchat

KookieMonster: [image]

KookieMonster: we can all chill now

HitTheYug: i still cant believe it

Megaphone: all this time??

Thaibaby: holy shit

EiffelPuppy: im

Lostboy: wtff

Greekgod: Fucking Yuta and Winwin

Greekgod: horny bastards

KookieMonster: your horny bastards

KookieMonster: id be more concerned about jackson-hyung???

HitTheYug: dont worry about it

Chapter End Notes

It might not be what you expected but I still hope you enjoyed!!

I just had to include Twice bc I love them so much tbh

 Of Hyungs and Kittens
Chapter Summary

T_Shining_Diamond asked: "Can u do a chapter where all the members get

overprotective about their little brother group?"

Chapter Notes

EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Greekgod: Jaehyun
Lostboy: The8
KookieMonster: Jungkook
Megaphone: DK
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liner Groupchat

Megaphone: @HitTheYug @Thaibaby @KookieMonster @Greekgod what just happened?

KookieMonster: bighits gonna fucking sue thats what happened

HitTheYug: i am so fucking angry what the fuck

Greekgod: the complete disrespect i dont understand

Lostboy: the internets raging what happened???

Thaibaby: i dont understand how some people think its okay

Thaibaby: to fucking degrade

Thaibaby: younger groups like that

KookieMonster: its hard enough to be compared to their seniors

KookieMonster: but the absolute disrespect theyve shown them

Greekgod: if SM doesnt flip shit I swear i will

HitTheYug: Stray Kids TXT and the dreams are fucking talented people and i wont stand for this
Thaibaby: im checking up on them

Thaibaby: @HitTheYug you coming?

HitTheYug: yeah

KookieMonster: theyre fucking crying

KookieMonster: my heart hurts goddamit

EiffelPuppy: seok ming and i just watched the show

EiffelPuppy: what the fuck

Thaibaby: we're trying our best to console them

Greekgod: my babies are sad and i dont know what to do goddamit

Megaphone: how bad is it?

HitTheYug: theyre trying their best to not show that theyre upset but failing

HitTheYug: id be fucking bawling if someone insulted me like that when we'd just debuted

Lostboy: tell them their svt hyungs love them so much!!

Greekgod: dreamies say thank you

Greekgod: they smiled a bit so thats good

EiffelPuppy: wait i have an idea

Megaphone: ????

EiffelPuppy: we cant just sit here and watch them be sad

EiffelPuppy: remember kook with flower crew?

KookieMonster: oh that was awful please dont

EiffelPuppy: exactly

EiffelPuppy: but

EiffelPuppy: remember what we did that same night?

KookieMonster: yeah that was fun

KookieMonster: wait a minute

KookieMonster: GYU YOU'RE A GENIUS

Thaibaby: i havent been there in so long

Lostboy: seok gyu and i went there a couple of weeks ago!!

Lostboy: the ahjumma was so happy to see us

Megaphone: she has new kittens!!

HitTheYug: REALLY

Megaphone: yup

Greekgod: then its settled

EiffelPuppy: i can phone her now and ask her to keep it open past closing time

KookieMonster: that would be great thanks gyu

Thaibaby: hope she doesnt mind a full army coming her way

Megaphone: she actually asked about you guys so get ready to get an earful

Thaibaby: well shit

Greekgod: kay so 11 pm sounds good?

HitTheYug: we'll be there

Thaibaby: ^

Lostboy: ^

Megaphone: ^

EiffelPuppy: ^

KookieMonster: ^

Private chat: Jaehyun and Jaemin

Jaehyun: i want your group to be fully dressed and ready to go by 10:30 pm

Jaemin: hyung?

Jaemin: whats going on?

Jaehyun: hyungs taking you out sweetheart

Jaehyun: and make sure not to tell anyone thats not part of the dreamies

Jaehyun: not even mark okay?

Jaemin: um okay hyung

Jaehyun: good

Private chat: Bambam and Chan

Bambam: channie!!

Chan: hi hyung

Bambam: can you keep a secret?

Chan: yes hyung?

Bambam: great

Bambam: your fave hyungs (aka yug and i) are taking your group out today night

Bambam: we're leaving by 10:30

Bambam: got it?

Chan: hyung you dont really have to

Chan: and what about our managers?

Bambam: hey

Bambam: dont worry about it

Bambam: just trust us okay?

Chan: where are we going?

Bambam: thats a surprise!!

~
Private chat: Jungkook and Soobin

Jungkook: soobin ah

Jungkook: whats your groups schedule like tomorrow?

Soobin: um late schedule hyung

Soobin: doesnt start until late afternoon

Jungkook: perfect

Jungkook: hyungs taking you guys out tonight

Soobin: what??

Soobin: hyung why

Jungkook: bc my friends and i dont like seeing you guys sad

Jungkook: so be ready we're meeting the rest at 11

Soobin: the rest?

Jungkook: yes the rest

Jungkook: now stop asking questions and just trust me

Jungkook: oh and dont tell anyone except your members

Jungkook: got it?

Soobin: yes hyung

97-Liners Groupchat

EiffelPuppy: [image]

EiffelPuppy: heres the group photo guys

Lostboy: mission accomplished

Greekgod: that was good

Greekgod: the dreamies had a lot of fun

HitTheYug: i think stray kids almost died out of happiness when they saw the kittens

KookieMonster: txt loved it!!

KookieMonster: but my ear still hurts

KookieMonster: damn ahjumma has good pulling skills

Thaibaby: yeah no shit my ear hurts too

HitTheYug: same

Greekgod: ^

Megaphone: lmao deserved

KookieMonster: oh dont act like that wasnt you 3 weeks ago

EiffelPuppy: busted

Greekgod: anyways

Greekgod: @EiffelPuppy @Megaphone @Lostboy thanks for coming along guys and setting
this up

Thaibaby: yeah that was awesome thanks guys

Lostboy: it was fun!!

Lostboy: dont mention it :D

EiffelPuppy: yeah guys

EiffelPuppy: we should totally do this again tho

Megaphone: yeah i dont think my ear can survive another ear pulling

HitTheYug: oh totally

HitTheYug: i missed her tho

KookieMonster: same

Seventeen Groupchat

Seungcheol: @Mingyu @The8 @DK

 Seungcheol: mind explain where have you been?

Seungcheol: and why you decided to come back at 4:30 in the morning?

97-Liners Groupchat

Megaphone: [image]

Megaphone: WHAT THE FUCK

Lostboy: HOWD HE KNOW

EiffelPuppy: I DONT KNOW

HitTheYug: oh fuck

KookieMonster: shit

Greekgod: you guys are dead

Lostboy: WE ALWAYS SNEAK OUT AND THEY NEVER FIND OUT

Megaphone: WELL COUPS JUST DID

Thaibaby: holy shit

EiffelPuppy: im gonna go pray to every deity out there to not die thanks

Thaibaby: rip in peace Kim Mingyu, Lee Seokmin, and Xu Minghao 1997-2019.

HitTheYug: hey guys

HitTheYug: can you get killed faster and get it over with so we can go beat up some scum?

Megaphone: oh yeah sure

Megaphone: so funeral at 4 and rally at 5?

Megaphone: what the fuck kind of question is that yug

HitTheYug: geez sorry

Chapter End Notes

And we're back to fluff ladies and gents

WRITING KOOK AS A HYUNG WAS SO WEIRD OH MY GOD

Also arent they just adorable as protective caring hyungs?

Hope I did you justice with this chapter!!

Also, I'd like to apologize for the less frequent updates. Thing is I'm doing a summer
semester at uni so its harder for me to update during the weekdays. Im trying my best
tho I promise
 Of Pasts and Filth
Chapter Summary

:-) asked: "oooh omg how about the boys teasing kook/the8/bam for being
smol/shorties even tho they're like 178cm hehe (cos they're the shortest out of
everyone) i can totes see yug/gyu doing this especially lolll"

sxmia said: "Somewhere along the line you should get all the groups to allow the 97s
to hv sex together ... just a suggestion yunno just saying ...."

Chapter Notes

Greekgod: Jaehyun
Megaphone: DK
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Lostboy: The8
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
KookieMonster: Jungkook

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

HitTheYug: so i was looking through my phone gallery

HitTheYug: and look what i found!!

HitTheYug: [image]

Megaphone: oo wasn't this group photo when we went out bowling at like 2 am

Greekgod: yeah it is

EiffelPuppy: aww look at how tiny kook ming and bam look

EiffelPuppy: adorable

HitTheYug: right???

HitTheYug: so small

Lostboy: oi whats the attack for

Lostboy: not all of us can be giant freaks like you

EiffelPuppy: you should speak up babe

EiffelPuppy: we cant hear you all the way down there

Thaibaby: oh you fucking menaces

Thaibaby: yall talk as if we're a meter tall wtf

KookieMonster: what is this blasphemy

Megaphone: gasp!

Megaphone: kook used a big word!

KookieMonster: i came out to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked rn

Lostboy: we didnt even come out and we were already being attacked???

Thaibaby: tall people are so mean i s2g

HitTheYug: im sorry baby

HitTheYug: it must be hard to be so close to the ground

HitTheYug: isnt that what ants feel?

Thaibaby: you are not getting anything tonight, Kim Yugyeom.

Greekgod: oh shit

Greekgod: you fucked up man

Lostboy: stick it to him bam!

Lostboy: show him whos boss!

EiffelPuppy: aw the shorties are riling up!

EiffelPuppy: thats so cute!

EiffelPuppy: an army of tiny people

KookieMonster: speaking of tiny wasnt that everyones reaction when they saw your dick for the
first time?

Megaphone: oh shit
Thaibaby: holy fuck that is brutal

Greekgod: im

HitTheYug: too far?

Lostboy: HOLY SHIT

EiffelPuppy: Jeon Jungkook.

Thaibaby: (boy is not happy yikes)

EiffelPuppy: you do realize you're talking about that same dick that almost split your mouth open
that one time

Lostboy: FUCK

Greekgod: im deceased

Thaibaby: HOLY FUCKING SHIT IM

HitTheYug: did he just do that???

HitTheYug: he just did.

HitTheYug: holy fuck

Megaphone: i cant

*Megaphone has left the group*

*Greekgod added Megaphone into the group*

Greekgod: get back in here

KookieMonster: oh yeah i remember that

KookieMonster: along with the desperation that came with it

KookieMonster: you came in like what

KookieMonster: 30 seconds?

Thaibaby: someone fucking open the windows because it is getting TOO HOT IN HERE

HitTheYug: is it strange that im slightly turned on

Thaibaby: youre fucking nasty babe

Greekgod: why is everyone here so goddamn horny all the fucking time

Megaphone: you wouldnt be in this group if you werent too jae

Greekgod: i sincerely hate that you're fucking right

EiffelPuppy: at least i didnt come from sucking dick alone

Lostboy: that hurts

Greekgod: ight thats it

Greekgod: fucking chill guys it was years ago

Greekgod: before anyone of us got into any of our relationships

Greekgod: so just move on and go suck someone elses dick

Private chat: Jungkook and Mingyu

Mingyu: yooo

Mingyu: does jae think we're actually mad??

Jungkook: yikes i think so

Mingyu: you're not actually mad tho are you?

Jungkook: nah bro ofc not

Jungkook: that was some good dick

Mingyu: and that was some good dick sucking

Jungkook: why thank you

97-Liners Groupchat

Lostboy: im guessing youre pissed because no ones sucking your dick?

Greekgod: ...

Greekgod: no...

Greekgod: no ones in the dorm :/

HitTheYug: why dont you come over jae

HitTheYug: we'll take care of you ;)

Greekgod: tempting offer but imma have to pass thanks

Megaphone: ah come on we don't act so repulsed

Megaphone: we had fun back then

KookieMonster: not gonna lie

KookieMonster: i love my boyfriends and wouldnt think of doing things with anyone else

KookieMonster: but we did have fun

EiffelPuppy: remember that one time bam and ming made out and ming smacked his face because
he was so ticklish

Lostboy: OH MY GOD

Thaibaby: LMAOO

Thaibaby: that bruised for like a week

Lostboy: IM SORRY

Greekgod: HAHAHAHHAH

HitTheYug: LMAOOO

Lostboy: IM SENSITIVE

Megaphone: oh we know babe

Megaphone: we know that very well ;)

KookieMonster: im sensing some freaky shit is about to happen in the svt dorm

Greekgod: i second that one

Lostboy: whats happening?

Megaphone: i think its about time we remembered how sensitive you are

EiffelPuppy: great so you'll excuse us while we take care of some... things...

Thaibaby: EXCUSED.
Greekgod: TAEIL CAME BACK

Greekgod: time to put that strong throat to use ;)

KookieMonster: and i thought the freaky shit was gonna happen at the svt dorm

Lostboy: if i dont come back

Lostboy: you know why.

HitTheYug: rip in peace Xu Minghao 1997-2019.

Thaibaby: youre a brave one

HitTheYug: yes but im still turned on

Thaibaby: good lord just get over here and let me ride you

HitTheYug: gladly babe

KookieMonster: how did i end up being the most composed one out of all of us?

97-Liners Groupchat

KookieMonster: yeah nvm i ended up having a threesome with tae and jimin

KookieMonster: twas fun

Greekgod: you truly belong in this group kook

KookieMonster: truly.

Megaphone: Ming cant get to the phone rn but he says congrats

KookieMonster: even demolished hes still congratulating

KookieMonster: you the real friend ming :')

EiffelPuppy: he gave a thumbs up

EiffelPuppy: and hes passed out again

Greekgod: on a scale of one to ten how much exactly did you destroy him?

Megaphone: i'd say a solid 20

Greekgod: hang in there ming

Chapter End Notes

THIS IS PURE FILTH IM SORRY

Wow im a mess, a thread:

- For the longest time I thought I did the height request??? But I didnt???
I legit had to reread the entire thing to notice that????

- For the record they werent in a romantic relationship for anyone whos confused. Just
like brojobs and shit to release tension you know??

-Idk what I just wrote and im slightly horrified

Anyways
 Of Parties and Creeps
Chapter Summary

elenoe1 asked: "Could you possibly do one where they are all at a party and one of
them sends a random text saying something completely off topic. The rest of the group
freaks out bc that was the code for “help” and go full Mission Impossible to find the
‘victim’ being harassed by a creep."

Multi_26 said: "I'm in desperate need of Yugy-centric things because they are just so
less of it :( I would love it if you could do one ♡"

Chapter Notes

Greekgod: Jaehyun
Lostboy: The8
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Megaphone: DK
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
KookieMonster: Jungkook

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

EiffelPuppy: everyones coming to the awards after party right?

Thaibaby: yup

Greekgod: ^

KookieMonster: on our way!

EiffelPuppy: :DDDDD

Thaibaby: has anyone seen yug?

KookieMonster: wasnt he with you like 5 minutes ago

Thaibaby: yeah he told jae and i hes getting a drink but hasnt come back

Megaphone: well hes not in the toilets

Megaphone: i was just there

Lostboy: maybe hes with the twice girls?

Thaibaby: ah yeah good point

HitTheYug: apples bananas chick fillet

Greekgod: Yug?

Greekgod: can you tell us where you are?

Thaibaby: YUG

KookieMonster: fuck hes not answering

EiffelPuppy: EVERYONE SPREAD OUT

EiffelPuppy: FIRST TO FIND HIM IMMEDIATELY TEXT US

Lostboy: got it

Megaphone: omw

KookieMonster: ill check upstairs

Greekgod: ill check the outdoor area

Thaibaby: im on the first floor

Lostboy: im with kook

Megaphone: im with jae

EiffelPuppy: im with bam

Thaibaby: WE FOUND HIM

Megaphone: COMING

Lostboy: Is he okay??

Thaibaby: yes but the fucker touching him won't be.

~
Greekgod: hey has yug calmed down fully?

Thaibaby: hes still a bit shaken up but hes better

Thaibaby: the rest of our members refuse to let him go

Thaibaby: they say thanks btw

Lostboy: of course!!

Lostboy: yugs our bestfriend!!

KookieMonster: they dont need to thank us

KookieMonster: everyone here would do anything to protect our bestfriend

EiffelPuppy: yeah

Thaibaby: yugs tired but hes reading the messages with me

Thaibaby: he says you guys are the best

Megaphone: you gave us a huge scare

Megaphone: we're just glad you're okay

Greekgod: the creep didnt.. touch you anywhere did he?

Thaibaby: GOD NO

Thaibaby: we came just in time

Thaibaby: yug says hes scared you guys will get in trouble

KookieMonster: dont worry about us yugi!

KookieMonster: if that fucker knows whats best for him he wont say a word about this

Greekgod: and besides kook and i could always give him another beating

Thaibaby: wont you guys get in trouble for physically assaulting him tho?

EiffelPuppy: well first he was the one who came onto yug without permission

EiffelPuppy: second he tried to make a pass at me first when i told him to step aside

EiffelPuppy: so technically speaking it was all self defence

Megaphone: yup

Megaphone: and the cameras have it all recorded

Megaphone: so we're safe

Thaibaby: oh...

Greekgod: @Lostboy you should start carrying your nunchucks around

Greekgod: that couldve been useful

Lostboy: oooo we couldve knocked some of his teeth out!

Lostboy: goddamit what a wasted opportunity

KookieMonster: indeed

Thaibaby: hey yug actually smiled at that!

Megaphone: the baby of the group had a rough night

Megaphone: @Thaibaby please take care of him

Thaibaby: you say that as if he isnt being babied rn by 5 others

Lostboy: nice

Thaibaby: yug says "'m not a baby!"

EiffelPuppy: we love you yugibear!

Megaphone: love you babe!

KookieMonster: we love our tall lanky bestfriend!

Thaibaby: aw hes blushing

Thaibaby: he says thanks

Thaibaby: and that he loves you all too

Thaibaby: MY HEART

Thaibaby: HES SO CUTE

Greekgod: dare I say whipped?

Lostboy: indeed he is
Thaibaby: btw @Greekgod @KookieMonster did the rest of your members say anything?

Thaibaby: since you guys did the most damage

Greekgod: uh...

Greekgod: ive actually been hiding in my room since we got back

KookieMonster: and im in the bathroom since they wont stop fretting over my bloody knuckles
and i wanted to check on yug

KookieMonster: and theyre pounding on the door

KookieMonster: i should probably get out before they kick the door down?

Lostboy: you probably should kook

KookieMonster: uh huh

KookieMonster: you probably wont hear from me for the rest of the night

KookieMonster: so see ya guys

KookieMonster: BYE YUGIBEAR

Megaphone: hang in there kook

Megaphone: we want you alive thanks

NCT Groupchat

Doyoung: why are there blood stains on the cup of water next to the sink?

Johnny: what?!

Winwin: is someone hurt??

97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: [image]

Greekgod: well shit

EiffelPuppy: way to go you idiot

 Greekgod: im just glad taeyong didnt find out yet

Greekgod: i love him but he obsessively worries

Thaibaby: you should really get your hands cleaned tho

Greekgod: *sigh*

Greekgod: I know

NCT Groupchat

Taeyong: SOMEONE'S HURT?!

97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: [image]

Greekgod: aaaand he found out

Megaphone: good luck babe

Lostboy: id say good luck but you seriously need to take care of them so

Lostboy: deserved.

EiffelPuppy: im with ming on this

Thaibaby: yup

Thaibaby: but anyways

Thaibaby: rip in peace Jung Yoonoh 1997-2019.

Chapter End Notes

You guys are seriously suckers for angst. When did this book turn into a fluff fest?

I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I hope I did both of you justice!!

We stan protective bestfriends.

 Of Parties and Creeps Pt.2
Chapter Summary

Adommy88 said: " I would love to actually see what the Hyungs said when they saw
the injured boys."

codeerror1004 asked: "hi do you mind doing a continuation of this chapter!! thank u!!"

anon asked: "lowkey, can u make a continuation of this chapter please?"

Chapter Notes

Greekgod: Jaehyun/Winwin
Megaphone: DK
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Lostboy: The8
KookieMonster: Jungkook
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

Megaphone: we havent heard from kook or jae in a while

Megaphone: @Greekgod @KookieMonster y'all okay?

KookieMonster: define okay

Thaibaby: yug and i are scared now

KookieMonster: idk jaes condition but

KookieMonster: you know how my boyfriends tend to be borderline obsessive sometimes?

KookieMonster: especially since im the baby of the group

Lostboy: yeah....

KookieMonster: [image]

EiffelPuppy: kook
EiffelPuppy: i thought only your knuckles were hurt?

KookieMonster: THEY ARE

Lostboy: then why are you bandaged from head to toe?

KookieMonster: I DONT KNOW

KookieMonster: THEY TRIED TO WRAP ME WITH BUBBLE WRAP

KookieMonster: anyways im hiding in the closet now

KookieMonster: if anyone of you ever loved me please dont tell them where i am

HitTheYug: i actually feel bad for you

Thaibaby: you have our word goddamn

Megaphone: and jae?

Megaphone: @Greekgod

Lostboy: @Greekgod

KookieMonster: @Greekgod

Thaibaby: @Greekgod

EiffelPuppy: @Greekgod

HitTheYug: holy shit he actually died

NCT Groupchat

Jungwoo: whos actually hurt???

Doyoung: jaehyun

Mark: is he okay?!

Ten: our sweet baby jaehyun has decided to be a hero!

Ten: so we decided to show him what a good brave boy he was

Ten: after we made sure to clean his wounds

Ten: my boyfriend is such a strong man

Haechan: i lowkey forgot how scary ten-hyung could be

Haechan: im

Mark: yeah uh same

Taeyong: anyways hes sleeping now

Taeyong: he needs his rest :(

97-Liners Groupchat

HitTheYug: what the actual fuck he seriously isnt answering

Greekgod: hey!

Lostboy: JAE

Lostboy: WHERE TF HAVE YOU BEEN

Greekgod: its winwin from nct

EiffelPuppy: oh

EiffelPuppy: sorry

EiffelPuppy: hey winwin hows it been going?

Greekgod: good!

Greekgod: im just texting you guys to tell you jae is just resting!!

Greekgod: but he told me to text you guys since you might be worried!!

Greekgod: something about me being the only trustworthy one or something?

Greekgod: idk he was a bit hazy

Thaibaby: sounds about right

Thaibaby: he'd probs trust you with his life

Megaphone: oh precious baby is here!

Megaphone: hi winwin!
Greekgod: precious baby?

Megaphone: its what he calls you all the time

Greekgod: interesting

Greekgod: what else does he do?

Megaphone: well

KookieMonster: uh i think we're all very interested in finding out what happened to jae?

Greekgod: right

Greekgod: basically taeyong hyung went ballistic

Greekgod: tended his wounds and fed him like a momma bear

Greekgod: but then ten and the other hyungs decided he deserved a prize for being such a caring
bestfriend

Lostboy: OKAY

Lostboy: please spare us the details thanks bb

KookieMonster: well id say jae had a more eventful night than i did

KookieMonster: some people get sex as a reward

KookieMonster: i get wrapped in bubblewrap

KookieMonster: how is that fair

HitTheYug: wow i cant believe im saying this

HitTheYug: but you are so welcome jae

HitTheYug: nice seeing you winwin!

Greekgod: you too!!

Greekgod: hope you're okay now!!

HitTheYug: im fine :D

Greekgod: great!

Greekgod: ill be off now

Greekgod: bye!

Megaphone: seriously jaes right

Megaphone: no wonder hes whipped

Thaibaby: ifkr

97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: i fucking hate you all

EiffelPuppy: jaes back!

Lostboy: had fun? ;)

Greekgod: as a matter of fact

Greekgod: i fucking did

Thaibaby: atta boy

Greekgod: i cant really walk for the next week but its okay

KookieMonster: THATS NOT FUCKING FAIRRRRRR

Greekgod: ha my boyfriends are better than yours

KookieMonster: normally id argue

KookieMonster: but today?

KookieMonster: youre fucking RIGHT

HitTheYug: are you still in the closet?

KookieMonster: what do you think?

KookieMonster: of course.

KookieMonster: im never leaving this place

BTS Groupchat

Jin: JEON JUNGKOOK

 Jin: WE'VE WAITED FOR TOO LONG

Jin: IF YOU DON'T OPEN THAT CLOSET I'M KICKING IT DOWN

Jin: JIMIN GET READY

Jimin: ON YOUR MARK HYUNG

97-Liners Groupchat

KookieMonster: [image]

KookieMonster: GOD FUCKING DAMMIT

KookieMonster: welp

KookieMonster: guess im going out

Megaphone: good luck soldier

HitTheYug: our prayers are with you

Thaibaby: rip in peace Jeon Jungkook 1997-2019.

Chapter End Notes

What is this? A second update????

Wow so many of you guys requested this so here you go! I needed to bring back the
crack aspect here so for those expecting fluff: sorry not sorry.

Also I included Winwin for those who wanted to see him without actually adding him
in the group (as he isnt actually part of it in real life)
 Of Studios and Cuddles
Chapter Summary

Anon asked: "Hi! I was wondering if you could make a chapter Jaehyun centric
please!"

dontleave said: "please! jae centric, that cute bread lookin ass doesn’t get enough
love ;-;"

suhwayv said: "Yesssss please a Jae centric one "

Jummyeons_Pout asked: "can you do an angsty jaehyun centric chapter?"

Chapter Notes

EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Megaphone: DK
Lostboy: The8
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
KookieMonster: Jungkook
Greekgod: Jaehyun

By popular demand, here is a jae-centric chapter :)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

HitTheYug: thought y'all should know

Lostboy: ??

HitTheYug: bam has been laughing on the floor for the past half an hour

HitTheYug: when i asked him why

HitTheYug: he said "remember the first time gyu gave seok a blowjob?"

HitTheYug: LMAOOO

Lostboy: HAHAHAHAHAH

Megaphone: GENIUNELY STOP

Megaphone: NOT MY BEST MOMENT OK

EiffelPuppy: i can physically feel my balls shrink everytime i remember that

Megaphone: IM SORRY

Megaphone: IT WAS MY FIRST TIME AND YOU WERE ALL THERE

EiffelPuppy: I KNOW

Thaibaby: WE ALL KNOW

KookieMonster: LMAOOOOO

KookieMonster: I think jae almsot had to go the hospital because of how hard he was laughing
HAHAHHA

KookieMonster: @Greekgod

Greekgod: yeah

Lostboy: you okay jae?

Lostboy: usually you'd be busting a lung by now

Greekgod: I'm fine don't worry

HitTheYug: jae please

HitTheYug: don't even think of trying to fool us

Greekgod: I'm sorry

Greekgod: just

Greekgod: suffocated I guess??

Greekgod: Basically we have a comeback soon and everyone's been tense

Greekgod: and it just exploded today during dance practice

Greekgod: the hyungs started yelling at each other and then at the younger ones

Megaphone: oh jae :(

Megaphone: we all know you hate fighting

Megaphone: you okay?

Greekgod: yeah i didn't actually get into it

Greekgod: So i just went back to the dorm and im sitting in my room avoiding everyone

Thaibaby: is this another puppy cafe situation?

Thaibaby: yug and i will need 10 mins to be there

Greekgod: no no

Greekgod: i appreciate it you guys but I just want some peace and quietness

KookieMonster: [Location]

EiffelPuppy: ??

KookieMonster: location to my studio

KookieMonster: its quiet plus im sure you could use a hug jae

Greekgod: i don't to be a bother

Greekgod: ill just stick to my room

KookieMonster: its no bother really

HitTheYug: yeah come on bam and i will pick you up

HitTheYug: we promise we'll be quiet!!

Greekgod: are you sure its okay?

Thaibaby: too late we're already on the way

EiffelPuppy: wish we could be there but our group's schedule is packed :(

Megaphone: take care of him you three okay?

KookieMonster: please seok dont you trust us?

Megaphone: i don't trust anyone in this group

Lostboy: i don't even trust myself at this point

Thaibaby: touché.

HitTheYug: [image]
EiffelPuppy: he's asleep??

Thaibaby: yup

Thaibaby: kook gave him a hug and jae ended up falling asleep cuddled on top of him

Megaphone: they look adorable aw

Megaphone: poor jae must have been really bummed huh

EiffelPuppy: he acts tough and all but we all know he's a big softie

Lostboy: aw who knew kook could be such a caring friend

HitTheYug: kook cant use his phone rn without waking jae up but he says fuck you

Lostboy: i feel the love kooks

HitTheYug: he says go suck a dick

Lostboy: what makes you think i'm not already?

Thaibaby: the fact that coups hyung would have your ass rn if you don't finish practice

EiffelPuppy: touché

NCT Groupchat

Yuta: I know we're all mad at each other and all

Yuta: but if you could all just grow up a bit

Johnny: don't fucking disrespect your hyungs

Yuta: Yoonoh's missing

Doyoung: what do you mean jae's missing?

Yuta: I mean that he's missing.

Yuta: he's not in the dorm he's not in the studios and he won't answer my calls or messages

Ten: we drove him away fuck

Taeyong: what do you mean we drove him away

Ten: he hates fights hes always been sensitive to them and we just had a big one

Ten: what do you think hyung

Taeyong: but he usually stays in his room when that happens

Yuta: well he's not there

Winwin: what if he's with the 97-Liners?

Taeyong: yeah maybe

Taeyong: I'll see

Taeyong: fuck

Leaders Groupchat

Taeyong: hey guys

Taeyong: how are you?

JB: what's wrong?

Taeyong: jae's missing and it might have been our fault

Taeyong: we kinda had a fight

Taeyong: we're worried because he hasn't been even answering our calls or messages

Taeyong: i just wanted to see if he's with any of your members?

Seungcheol: sorry no all my members are here

JB: yug and bam arent here

Namjoon: I'll ask kook one sec

Namjoon: he isn't answering I'll go see him in his studio

Namjoon: [image]

Namjoon: went in the studio and found this

Namjoon: he's safe don't worry

JB: so that's where the boys went

Taeyong: oh thank god

Taeyong: We'll come pick him up

Taeyong: thank you so much hyung

Namjoon: no wait

Namjoon: keep him a bit

Namjoon: by the time he's back you'll have talked it out with the rest of your members

JB: he's right

JB: gives you a chance to calm down

Taeyong: yeah

Taeyong: you're probably right

Taeyong: thank you again

Seungcheol: i didn't know the boys were that close with each other

Seungcheol: i mean i knew they were close but i've never seen them like that

JB: me neither

JB: jaes practically a koala cuddled on kook

Namjoon: cute

JB: aw is the leader soft for his maknae?

Namjoon: yes

Namjoon: sue me

Seungcheol: HAHAHHAHAH

97-Liners Groupchat

EiffelPuppy: so what happened??

Thaibaby: he woke up about an hour later so we took him back to his dorm
Thaibaby: and now we're waiting to see what happened

Megaphone: oh that's good i guess

Greekgod: hey

Lostboy: jae!!

Lostboy: everything okay??

Greekgod: yeah

Greekgod: they talked while i was gone

Greekgod: i felt bad for guiltying them though

KookieMonster: dont jae

KookieMonster: you needed some space its okay

Greekgod: yeah

Greekgod: thank you kook

Greekgod: sorry i fell asleep on you like that

KookieMonster: dont be!!

KookieMonster: it was literally no bother

EiffelPuppy: we're glad you're fine now

Megaphone: it's okay to be vulnerable around us jae

Megaphone: we might be little shits but you know you can trust us right?

Greekgod: yeah

KookieMonster: you have the location to my studio if you ever need a quiet place

KookieMonster: offer goes to all

HitTheYug: give us a call and we'll pick you up!!

Greekgod: thanks guys really

Thaibaby: :)
 Greekgod: I love you guys

Lostboy: GASP WHAT IS THIS

Lostboy: JAE SAID HE LOVED US???

Lostboy: SOMEONE RIGHT THIS DOWN IN HISTORY LADIES AND GENTS

Lostboy: or just gents in this case

Greekgod: fuck you this is literally why i never say that

EiffelPuppy: what a day

EiffelPuppy: jae finally admitted he loves us

Greekgod: i won't hesitate to beat you all up

HitTheYug: but you wont

Thaibaby: cuz you loooove us :DDD

Greekgod: i take it back

Greekgod: i hate you all

KookieMonster: sorry

KookieMonster: no refunds or exchanges

Megaphone: we have receipts now ;)

Greekgod: GODDAMIT

Thaibaby: love you too jae

Greekgod: yeah yeah

Chapter End Notes

I was supposed to update yesterday but I didn't.

Why?
Because I wrote the chapter, finished, and then I fucking accidentally DELETED IT.
Then I re-wrote the chapter, did half of the editing, and fucking accidentally deleted
the editing too.
So after many trials and hardships, I really hope you enjoy.
 Of Dogpiles and Jealousy
Chapter Summary

Mellifluous asked: "I dont know how many requests you have but could you maybe do
one where the memebers are jealous of the 97 line friendship???just a thought i would
want to see"

Chapter Notes

Greekgod: Jaehyun
Lostboy: The8
Megaphone: DK
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
KookieMonster: Jungkook
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Private chat: Mingyu and Taeyong

Mingyu: hi hyung!!

Mingyu: sorry if I'm bothering you!!

Taeyong: hey mingyu ah

Taeyong: its no bother :)

Taeyong: what's up?

Mingyu: the guys and i wanted your permission to kidnap jae for the day

Mingyu: you know after the whole thing last week

Taeyong: oh

Taeyong: yeah sure let him have fun :)

Mingyu: ofc!! Anything for our tsundere baby

Mingyu: thanks hyung!!

Taeyong: baby?

Taeyong: oh anytime!

97-Liners Groupchat

Megaphone: @HitTheYug @Thaibaby did y'all kidnap jae yet

Thaibaby: yup we're on our way

Thaibaby: [image]

Thaibaby: jaes still blushing like a tomato lmaooooo

KookieMonster: AHHAHA AW WHAT HAPPENED

Greekgod: idk my members were being so weird man

Greekgod: I told them I was leaving with you guys and everyone started shouting byes and calling
me 'their baby'

Greekgod: which they rarely do??

Lostboy: awww looks like someone likes it ;)

Thaibaby: im scared if we talk about it he'll get hard in our car LMAO

EiffelPuppy: HAHAHAHAHHA

Greekgod: I WILL NOT

Thaibaby: yug and i won't judge if you did ;)

Greekgod: i'll beat you both.

Megaphone: anyways

Megaphone: we're waiting for you at the parking

GOT7 Groupchat

Yugyeom: [image]

Yugyeom: [image]

Yugyeom: [image]
Yugyeom: here's the dogpile y'all

Bambam: wrong group yug

Yugyeom: SHIT AHHAHA

Yugyeom: sorry hyungs!!

Youngjae: haha looks like you guys had fun?

Bambam: lmao yeah

Bambam: im surprised ikea didnt kick us out

Jinyoung: you were at ikea?

Jinyoung: thats awfully domestic

Yugyeom: yup!!

Yugyeom: kook figured we're gonna be crashing at his studio alot so he needed a new couch

Jackson: oh cool

Leaders Groupchat

JB: [image]

JB: [image]

JB: :)

Taeyong: were they in ikea?

JB: yes

Seungcheol: but the boys never went with me to ikea

Namjoon: aha

Namjoon: isnt their close friendship so beautiful

Taeyong: a little too close don't you think

JB: jealous?
Taeyong: yeah I am

Taeyong: [image]

Taeyong: mingyu called him their baby.

Taeyong: tell me now

Taeyong: aren't you guys?

Seungcheol: fuck it yes I am

Namjoon: kook gave them the location to his studio when he would tease us about going there for
months

Namjoon: ok so maybe we are a little jealous

JB: you think?

Seungcheol: so what's the plan

97-Liners Groupchat

Lostboy: why is everyone acting so weird today??

Megaphone: right??

Greekgod: ??

Megaphone: our groups so weird today

Megaphone: the younger ones wont leave gyu ming and I alone

Megaphone: and the older ones are just really sweet and caring?

Megaphone: not to mention we cant go anywhere without anyone tagging along

Lostboy: not that they arent usually

Lostboy: just extra today???

Lostboy: gyu cant reach his phone bc he's under a pile of woozi and seungkwan

KookieMonster: YOU TOO?!

Megaphone: wait you too???

KookieMonster: YES

KookieMonster: they've been babying me since the morning!!

KookieMonster: not that im complaining but

KookieMonster: jin hyung has been giving me piggy back rides all day??

KookieMonster: which i usually have to beg for

KookieMonster: and then we had a dogpile

Greekgod: you've gotta be kidding me

Greekgod: i've been stuck under a dogpile for like 3 hours

Greekgod: like a dogpile with 6 members is hard

Greekgod: imagine 12????

Lostboy: how tf are you alive

Greekgod: but seriously everyone's been clingy

Greekgod: and excessive use of 'baby'

Greekgod: and i wouldn't mind it except for the fact that i can't even use the bathroom in peace??

HitTheYug: yeah no shit

HitTheYug: what the fuck is up with everyone????

HitTheYug: like the attention is appreciated

HitTheYug: but out of nowhere??

HitTheYug: its not my or bams birthday

HitTheYug: its not our anniversary

Lostboy: wheres bam??

HitTheYug: JB hyung and mark hyung took him on a shopping spree

HitTheYug: also not to mention

HitTheYug: our necks are covered in hickeys

Megaphone: [image]
Greekgod: holy shit

Lostboy: and all over my thighs

KookieMonster: hold up i smell something fishy here

Megaphone: didn't your hyungs make fish today

KookieMonster: yes

KookieMonster: but not the point

KookieMonster: isnt it weird that all our members are acting weird

Greekgod: oh my god i got it

Lostboy: ???

Greekgod: wouldn't you say they're acting possessive?

HitTheYug: OH MY GOD YES

Lostboy: that makes so much sense

Megaphone: but why would they be possessive though

Megaphone: is it bc of the yug thing?

HitTheYug: that was over a month ago tho

KookieMonster: then what?

Greekgod: no clue

Lostboy: weird

Megaphone: very

Greekgod: the

Greekgod: weirdest

Greekgod: thing

Greekgod: just happened

Thaibaby: ??????
Thaibaby: yug told me everything

Greekgod: so doyoung and i were just talking about random things and laughing

Greekgod: and then i mentioned wanting to visit kooks studio to see the new couch and beanbag

Greekgod: and then he legit stopped mid laugh and became quiet???

KookieMonster: what the fuck

KookieMonster: did i do something??

Greekgod: im pretty sure you didn't because then I mentioned having yug and bam take me to
your studio again and then he started glaring???

Thaibaby: aha

EiffelPuppy: wait a minute

EiffelPuppy: @Greekgod mention us

Greekgod: you having the same thoughts as I am?

EiffelPuppy: only one way to find out

HitTheYug: explain

Megaphone: i think i get it

Greekgod: holy shit

Greekgod: they're not happy.

HitTheYug: you wanna explain?

KookieMonster: ^^^

Lostboy: HOLY SHIT

Thaibaby: WHAT

EiffelPuppy: bam yug ask your hyungs permission to go to kooks studio or something

EiffelPuppy: @KookieMonster tell your hyungs we're visiting

KookieMonster: mind explaining??

Megaphone: you'll understand immediately

~

KookieMonster: HOLY FUCK

Thaibaby: THEY'RE JEALOUS?!

HitTheYug: OF YOU GUYS

KookieMonster: HAHAHAHAHAH

Lostboy: RIGHT

Greekgod: i can't believe they're jealous oh my god

EiffelPuppy: this is priceless

Megaphone: it makes so much sense HAHAHAH

Greekgod: so basically

Greekgod: our members are possessive because they're jealous of us

Greekgod: HAHAHAHAH

Lostboy: LMAOOOOO

Megaphone: okay okay jokes aside

Megaphone: should we talk to them??

HitTheYug: technically speaking?

HitTheYug: yeah

KookieMonster: but this is so funny i cant

KookieMonster: i think i bust a lung

Lostboy: ME TOO

Megaphone: keep it down!!

Megaphone: theyll come after us!!

Lostboy: sorry!!

Megaphone: YOU TOO GYU

EiffelPuppy: SORRY

Greekgod: okay okay

Greekgod: what could have triggered it?

Greekgod: we've been friends for a long time

Thaibaby: true

HitTheYug: wait

HitTheYug: [image]

HitTheYug: i think it started from here?

HitTheYug: i accidently sent our group photos at ikea on the group

KookieMonster: how the hell did you not notice the passive aggressiveness

Thaibaby: hes right wtf how did we not

EiffelPuppy: wait a second

EiffelPuppy: [image]

Greekgod: YOU CALLED ME A BABY IN FRONT OF TAEYONG HYUNG

EiffelPuppy: yes.

EiffelPuppy: would that explain why your members keep calling you baby?

Greekgod: omg it does

Greekgod: i'm still murdering you later on

EiffelPuppy: yeah yeah

KookieMonster: i think

KookieMonster: each one of us should have a nice long talk with their members and report back?

Lostboy: i'm with him on that one

Thaibaby: not a bad idea

Greekgod: hm yeah i think so too

EiffelPuppy: good plan

Megaphone: good good

Leaders Groupchat

Seungcheol: so i have reasons to believe that we may have been a bit irrational?

Namjoon: uh huh

Namjoon: i must agree

JB: they gave you a scolding too didn't they

Taeyong: ....maybe.

Seungcheol: they did it to you?

JB: yeah

Seungcheol: cool

Namjoon: so....

Taeyong: maybe we were a bit too jealous over nothing?

Taeyong: i mean they're allowed to have other friends...

JB: yeah...

JB: if you'll excuse me now

JB: my members and I have an apology letter to write to your boys

Namjoon: same

Seungcheol: same

Taeyong: same

97-Liners Groupchat

Thaibaby: [image]

Greekgod: [image]

Lostboy: [image]
KookieMonster: [image]

EiffelPuppy: we are so keeping these for blackmail

EiffelPuppy: great job everyone

Greekgod: why thank you

HitTheYug: it was an absolute pleasure

HitTheYug: i felt like the hyung for once LMAOO

KookieMonster: amazing

KookieMonster: they looked like dejected puppies

Megaphone: i should feel bad

Megaphone: but I dont HAHAHAH

Lostboy: HAHAHAHAH

Thaibaby: man if they were jealous because of that picture

Thaibaby: what do you think would happen if they knew exactly what we did before we got
together

KookieMonster: oh god

Megaphone: im sure they wont let us see each other ever again probably

Greekgod: you think??

HitTheYug: totally

KookieMonster: i think my hyungs think i was a virgin before we got together

Lostboy: WHAT

Lostboy: NO WAY

Lostboy: HAHAHAHHA

EiffelPuppy: YOU'RE KIDDING

KookieMonster: nope

KookieMonster: they never asked so i never told them

 Greekgod: amazing

HitTheYug: oh my god kook

KookieMonster: whoops

EiffelPuppy: you're fucked if they find out

KookieMonster: don't I know it lads

Chapter End Notes

Aiiii this chapter's a complete mess.

 Of Stress and Expectations
Chapter Summary

Nightingale0124 asked: "hi! can you do a mingyu-centric chap please?"

dontleave asked: "i don’t really have a specific request, but maybe just all of them
hanging out together again? cuddling, drinking, anything really. or maybe since people
want a mingyu centric, you can do gyu going to kookie’s studio because of some
issues with himself or band"

Chapter Notes

Greekgod: Jaehyun
KookieMonster: Jungkook
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
Thaibaby: Bambam
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Megaphone: DK
Lostboy: The8

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Seventeen Groupchat

Hoshi: we're going over another part of the choreo tomorrow so I hope everyone's got their parts
down

Hoshi: that goes to you @Mingyu practice well tonight

Mingyu: oh sure hyung

Mingyu: as if I haven't been practicing my ass off for the past 2 weeks

Woozi: hey you have no right to talk to your hyung like that

Woozi: you've been lacking and we can all see that

Woozi: you haven't even been hitting the notes properly

Mingyu: I've been practicing??

Joshua: you're usually better than this though

Joshua: I don't understand

Joshua: why are you being like this?

Mingyu: being like what?

Mingyu: huh hyung?

Seungcheol: watch your tone mingyu

Seungcheol: you've been snappy all week and downright disrespectful to your hyungs and your
dongsaengs

Seungcheol: you being the face of the group doesn't give you mighty privileges over the rest of us

Seungcheol: understand?

Mingyu: I'm done

The8: now you've done it

Seungkwan: way to go hyungs

Jeonghan: what's with the sudden attack huh?

DK: That we're tired and stressed and you've been pouring everything on Mingyu even though he's
trying his fucking best

Private Chat: Mingyu and Yugyeom

Mingyu: yug?

Yugyeom: hey gyu

Mingyu: can you pick me up?

Mingyu: or nevermind of course you're busy or relaxing from a long day

Mingyu: sorry i asked

Yugyeom: hey hey

Yugyeom: where are you?

Mingyu: hiding in an empty make up room

Yugyeom: I need 15 minutes max okay?

Mingyu: if you're busy please don't

Yugyeom: Im not

Yugyeom: bam is im not i promise

Mingyu: okay

Private Chat: Yugyeom and Jungkook

Yugyeom: kooks

Yugyeom: I really hope you're in your studio rn

Jungkook: yeah?

Jungkook: i am whats up

Yugyeom: open up

97-Liners Groupchat

KookieMonster: @Megaphone @Lostboy

KookieMonster: you two better be in here I swear to god or you won't be happy

Greekgod: ????

Greekgod: what happened???

Thaibaby: yo what's up?

KookieMonster: [image]

KookieMonster: you want to fucking explain to me why Mingyu showed up with Yugyeom
holding him at my door at 10 pm stressed and crying his eyes out?

Lostboy: oh thank god he's with you two

Megaphone: the hyungs were being a bit too harsh on him kook

Megaphone: we swear they didn't mean to hurt him

Lostboy: its the new comeback

Lostboy: everyone's been stressed

Megaphone: then the hyungs scolded him over the groupchat but he disappeared

Megaphone: and when he did the groupchat blew up

Lostboy: seok and I tried calling him and texting him but he wouldn't pick up

Greekgod: he looks on the brink of exhaustion

Greekgod: what did you do??

Thaibaby: he looks absolutely devastated

KookieMonster: you're not getting him back until you solve this.

Lostboy: kookie please at least you and yug convince him to answer his phone

Megaphone: he's been tired and stressed and we've all been to blind to notice that

Megaphone: we're really sorry

Lostboy: we really are

Lostboy: please

EiffelPuppy: it's not your fault

EiffelPuppy: you weren't the harsh ones

Megaphone: but we didn't do anything to defend you either

Megaphone: we're all packed and stressed but that gives us no excuse

Lostboy: everyone's been harsh but you got most of it

Lostboy: please gyu

EiffelPuppy: its okay

Megaphone: it really isn't

Megaphone: please answer our group

HitTheYug: you do realize this can't just be solved over text

Lostboy: yes but at least he can tell us exactly what he feels without being interrupted

HitTheYug: kook and i are keeping him here until we're sure he wont be crying again

KookieMonster: fucking try us

Megaphone: okay

Seventeen Groupchat

Mingyu: um hey

Seungcheol: gyu please come back so we can solve this

Seungcheol: we realized we were a bit harsh

The8: a bit?

Woozi: okay we were really harsh but please understand

Mingyu: i know we're all stressed hyungs

Mingyu: and i know everyone's been working hard

Mingyu: and i'm sorry i couldn't be your perfect member this time

Mingyu: i'm tired and stressed and i couldn't just do it under pressure

Joshua: we know gyu

Joshua: we've all been taking out our stress in a bad way

Hoshi: its just

Hoshi: you're our perfect package

Hoshi: you sing rap and dance and you're our face

Hoshi: you do it so well everytime that we tend to forget you're human too

Hoshi: that you're not a machine who can be perfect all the time

Jeonghan: we look up to you even

Jeonghan: i always wonder how you could do it

Mingyu: but i can't always do it

Mingyu: please understand

Mingyu: i try so hard to impress you all

Mingyu: but its just so hard hyungs

Mingyu: and when i couldnt do it i just felt stressed and embarrassed

Wonwoo: embarrassed?

Wonwoo: of what?

Wonwoo: being normal?

Wonwoo: the truth is we pushed you hard and past your breaking point because we thought you
were practically invincible

Wonwoo: but you arent thats okay

Wonwoo: whats not okay was the fact that we and especially the hyungs thought we were entitled
to push you that far

Seungcheol: we're sorry gyu

Seungcheol: you have no idea

Seungcheol: i think we all realized it after we basically blew up at each other

Joshua: we love you

Joshua: please know that?

Mingyu: i know

Mingyu: i guess i just needed to get out a bit

Woozi: please come back so we can properly settle this

Mingyu: um

Mingyu: I'd like to stay here for a while if that's okay?

Seungcheol: take the time you need

Seungcheol: we'll be waiting okay?

Mingyu: okay

97-Liners Groupchat

Lostboy: @Megaphone @EiffelPuppy we're having a dogpile tonight I don't care what anyone
wants
HitTheYug: who said youre getting him back?

Megaphone: please yug and kook?

Megaphone: they talked it over!

KookieMonster: yeah we saw

KookieMonster: think we're gonna give him up easily?

Lostboy: jesus you two are acting like his boyfriends

HitTheYug: jealous?

Megaphone: we want our boyfriend back pleaseeeeeee

Greekgod: were they this protective when I went over?

Greekgod: i can't remember much since i fell asleep

Thaibaby: hell yeah we were

Thaibaby: namjoon hyung was probably lowkey scared when he saw yug and i sitting like watch
dogs and kook wrapped around you like a snake

Greekgod: aw thanks guys

Thaibaby: of course of course

EiffelPuppy: i think i'm ready to go back

KookieMonster: you sure?

EiffelPuppy: yeah

HitTheYug: fine

Lostboy: YES!

Megaphone: :DDD

HitTheYug: but ONLY because he said so

Lostboy: yes okay

Megaphone: jeez

Megaphone: but really thanks for taking care of him

KookieMonster: youre welcome

KookieMonster: but that better not happen again

Lostboy: it wont

HitTheYug: promise?

Lostboy: promise

Megaphone: promise

Leaders Groupchat

Seungcheol: hi

Seungcheol: its late i know

Seungcheol: but @Namjoon @JB

Seungcheol: please thank jungkook and yugyeom for taking care of mingyu when we couldnt

JB: uh sure

JB: everything okay?

Seungcheol: just some issues to resolve

Namjoon: alright

Seungcheol: goodnight

Namjoon: goodnight

JB: goodnight

97-Liners Groupchat

Lostboy: [image]

Lostboy: WE GOT A DOGPILE HA

Thaibaby: good lord

Thaibaby: listen my only question here is how the fuck did you fit that many people in there?
 KookieMonster: exactly what i was thinking

Greekgod: speaking from experience?

Greekgod: sheer will power

HitTheYug: yeah no shit

HitTheYug: so im guessing you guys talked it over?

Lostboy: yup

Lostboy: everyone cried

KookieMonster: when do you not cry really

Lostboy: says you

Lostboy: you literally cry at the end of each concert

KookieMonster: its an emotional moment okay

Greekgod: anyways we're glad things worked out

Greekgod: but if this happens again

Greekgod: kook and i dont visit the gym regularly for nothing

Greekgod: understand?

Lostboy: YES SIR

Greekgod: good

Chapter End Notes

Hey NCT Dream stans, how we doin?

Bc I'm certainly dead after that comeback

I remember more people asking for a Mingyu-centric chapter but I can't find the
comments.

Anyways, a heavy chapter I know but I hope you like it.

We'll get back to crack later on don't worry

 Of Medicines and Zebras
Chapter Summary

Dawnbreak55 asked: "smth he was already really sick and needed a lot of medication
that made him kind of loopy and hazy causing him to just be completely
ridiculous/soft/whipped/random/say (or write??) everything hes thinking and yeah oof"

yugyeommybear asked: "Can you make a chapter where one of them is drunk and
thinks they’re pregnant"

Chapter Notes

Greekgod: Jaehyun
Lostboy: The8
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Megaphone: DK
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
KookieMonster: Jungkook

-Have some bambam-centric crack! Doesn't mean I won't be doing bambam-centric

angst. I'm making sure everyone gets their own angst chapter, don't worry :)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

HitTheYug: [image]

HitTheYug: sup gays

EiffelPuppy: WHY ARE YOU IN THE HOSPITAL

Lostboy: WHOS DYING

Thaibaby: calm down you hoes i just sprained my ankle

Thaibaby: doc checked it and is prescribing some meds

Greekgod: howd you do that?

Thaibaby: i
Thaibaby: fell down the stairs

HitTheYug: he was riding jackson hyung and accidently rode too hard

KookieMonster: LMAOOOO

Lostboy: HAHAHHAH

EiffelPuppy: HAHAHAH

Megaphone: only you bam i swear

Thaibaby: thanks for sparing my dignity yug

Thaibaby: really appreciate it

HitTheYug: anytime babe

Greekgod: well get well soon!

Thaibaby: thank you jae

Thaibaby: the real og i swear

Thaibaby: the rest of you are snakes

Lostboy: oh pipe down you're a snake too

Thaibaby: i

Thaibaby: ok true

HitTheYug: thanks for the get well soon gifts

HitTheYug: im sure he'll love them!!

EiffelPuppy: how's he doing?

HitTheYug: good hes asleep now

HitTheYug: gotta warn you tho

HitTheYug: meds are making him woozy

Greekgod: woozy how...?

HitTheYug: youll know

Lostboy: okay?

Thaibaby: my tummy feels weird

Megaphone: whats wrong bammie

Thaibaby: weird tummy

Thaibaby: oh my god... im pregnant

Thaibaby: IM GONNA BE A MOMMY!

Greekgod: bam sweetheart

Greekgod: guys can't be pregnant

Thaibaby: shh dont let the baby hear you!!

HitTheYug: baby

HitTheYug: youre not pregnant

Thaibaby: im not?

HitTheYug: no sweetie

Thaibaby: but tummy feels weird???

Thaibaby: make noises...

HitTheYug: thats because you havent eaten anything yet

HitTheYug: ill ask jinyoung hyung to make you something to eat

KookieMonster: okay this is lowkey highkey adorable

Thaibaby: ITS THE COOKIE MONSTUR!!

Thaibaby: YOURE NOT TAKING ANY OF MY COOKIES OKAY

Thaibaby: ILL FIGHT YOU

KookieMonster: ....

KookieMonster: IM STEALING ALL YOUR COOKIES

Thaibaby: YUG HELP!!!

Thaibaby: THE COOKIE MONSTER IS GONNA TAKE MY COOKIES

HitTheYug: he wont babe

Thaibaby: youll save all my cookies?

HitTheYug: of course!!!

Thaibaby: love you yugi!!!!!!

Megaphone: fucking whipped

HitTheYug: hes never this cuddly leave me be

Lostboy: you heard the man

Lostboy: what i would give for woozi hyung to be this cuddly with me

EiffelPuppy: TRUTH

Greekgod: LMAOOOO

Thaibaby: guys,, we should go on a trip to outer space,,,

Megaphone: uh huh and where would we go?

Thaibaby: the talking zebra told me we should visit his galaxy!!

Greekgod: and what else did the talking zebra say?

Thaibaby: he also said that paint the jyp building pink...

KookieMonster: why pink?

Thaibaby: i dont know

Thaibaby: i want it purple :/

HitTheYug: babe

HitTheYug: you should be sleeping

Thaibaby: i dont want to be rude to the talking zebra!

Thaibaby: i cant just sleep when hes right there!

HitTheYug: im sure the talking zebra needs to go back to his galaxy to sleep too right?

Thaibaby: yeah youre right :/

Thaibaby: he said the ride was long

HitTheYug: alright lets put you to bed

Megaphone: okay seriously tho why can't bam be always this adorable

Lostboy: i'm crying

Lostboy: THIS IS TOO CUTE

EiffelPuppy: ok but same

EiffelPuppy: hey yug

EiffelPuppy: whatever hes on?

EiffelPuppy: i want it

KookieMonster: HAHAHAHAHA

Greekgod: LMAO

Thaibaby: @EiffelPuppy are you as tall as the eiffel tower?

Thaibaby: bc that shit huge man

EiffelPuppy: i

Megaphone: he is

Thaibaby: a talking megaphone???

Thaibaby: did you come from the talking zebras galaxy???

Megaphone: uh

Megaphone: yes?

Thaibaby: say hi to my friend!!

Megaphone: uh of course!!
Greekgod: hey @HitTheYug how long does he have to take these meds?

HitTheYug: well the really strong one should wear off by tomorrow

HitTheYug: and then he'll be on lighter ones

Greekgod: oh good

Greekgod: hes gonna freak when they wear down

HitTheYug: oh yeah

HitTheYug: you dont even wanna know what hes been saying at the dorms man

Lostboy: should be hilarious

HitTheYug: oh yeah

HitTheYug: jinyoung hyungs officially mom

HitTheYug: jackson hyung is bams servant for some reason

HitTheYug: youngjae hyung is 'mr cuddly bear!!'

HitTheYug: JB hyungs the dorm cat for some reason??

HitTheYug: and mark hyungs is bams celebrity crush with the good hair

KookieMonster: amazing

KookieMonster: this is amazing i love it

Lostboy: what are you?

HitTheYug: no fucking clue man

KookieMonster: im saving this conversation for blackmail

Greekgod: disappointed but not surprised

EiffelPuppy: hey someone had to do it

Megaphone: this group is nothing without blackmail

Greekgod: i thought its nothing without shamelessness?

Lostboy: that too

~

Thaibaby: you fuckers

Thaibaby: i cant believe you led me on wtf

Lostboy: oh hi bam the meds finally wore off!!

Megaphone: hope you liked our gifts!

Thaibaby: i did actually the cookies were so good holy shit

KookieMonster: right?

KookieMonster: the bakery i got them from is amazing i swear

Thaibaby: youve gotta give me their address man

Thaibaby: I WAS SIDE TRACKED

Thaibaby: BACK TO MY MAIN POINT

Thaibaby: YOU FUCKERS LED ME ON

Greekgod: and it was fun too

Greekgod: the talking zebra was a bit worrying i gotta say

Greekgod: but the rest was absolute gold thank you for this quality content

EiffelPuppy: screenshotted and saved

EiffelPuppy: for life

Thaibaby: i really

Thaibaby: really

Thaibaby: feel like dying rn

HitTheYug: oh shush like you wouldnt have done this too

Thaibaby: goddamit youre right

Thaibaby: this group sucks

Megaphone: we feel the love bam

Megaphone: truly
 Thaibaby: you know what

Thaibaby: @HitTheYug wheres youngjae

HitTheYug: mr cuddly bear

HitTheYug: i mean youngjae hyungs in his room

Thaibaby: shut up shut up shUT UP SHUT UP

Thaibaby: im gonna go fucking cuddle with him

Thaibaby: yall suck.

EiffelPuppy: joke's on you minghaos already sucking my dick

Thaibaby: fuck you.

Chapter End Notes

A few things:

- I feel like I have to clarify how this works: I take all requests into account. If you
don't see yours it means that I haven't done it yet. Some requests I do directly, some I
save for a more convenient time but I'm trying my best to do everything!!

-I have a surprise for all of you later on ;)

-Hope you enjoyed the crack before the drama that's about to come later on ;)))))

-And lastly,,,,,, Seventeen stans how we doin?

Bc if any of you saw me that would be my ghost floating around as I am deceased

(Oh and do any of you watch money heist?)

 Of Misunderstandings and Trauma
Chapter Summary

Hachikin1688 asked: "So I have this one line that I can't get out of my head after all of
this, and that's someone, in the middle of a conversation about, Lord knows what,
saying "wait, what? That's an actual thing?"

Chapter Notes

Greekgod: Jaehyun
KookieMonster: Jungkook
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Megaphone: DK
Lostboy: The8

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

Thaibaby: quick question

Thaibaby: have any of you tried sounding?

Greekgod: no?

EiffelPuppy: god no

Megaphone: definitely not

Lostboy: almost did once

Thaibaby: you?

Lostboy: yeah what makes you so surprised

Thaibaby: im

Thaibaby: impressed truly

EiffelPuppy: why are you asking

Thaibaby: idk jackson hyung brought it up

HitTheYug: (because he's weird like that)

Megaphone: ah

Thaibaby: and i was just curious

KookieMonster: oo i did!!

HitTheYug: what

Thaibaby: WHAT

EiffelPuppy: WHAT

Megaphone: WHEN

Lostboy: WHY

Greekgod: oh my god

KookieMonster: what?

KookieMonster: why are you guys so surprised

KookieMonster: you know i like to produce music too

KookieMonster: just ask woozi hyung

Greekgod: kook...

Greekgod: baby...

Greekgod: what do you mean by sounding?

KookieMonster: like when you play with the sounds on the mixer board...?

KookieMonster: duh?

KookieMonster: whats the matter with you

EiffelPuppy: someone's gotta tell him

Megaphone: it aint me chief

Lostboy: what he said

Thaibaby: kooks
Thaibaby: youve never heard a sounding device before?

KookieMonster: now yall are making me question myself

Thaibaby: its a sexual device sweetheart

Thaibaby: rods you stick in your dick basically

KookieMonster: wait, thats an actual thing?!

KookieMonster: what the fuck

HitTheYug: uh yeah

HitTheYug: how do you not know this

KookieMonster: WHY WOULD I KNOW THIS

KookieMonster: I DONT WANT METAL INSIDE MY DICK WHAT THE FUCK

Megaphone: i think we scarred him lads

Lostboy: thats a big ass yikes

EiffelPuppy: i think its safe to say kook hasnt tried it either

KookieMonster: YOU THINK

KookieMonster: IT SOUNDS PAINFUL

Thaibaby: i mean some people say it gives them alot of pleasure

KookieMonster: BAMBAM NO

HitTheYug: yeah honey im not trying that ever

HitTheYug: i dont think anyone in our group is either

Greekgod: ok back to the topic of kook not knowing this

Greekgod: of all the kinks and devices we've seen and discussed

Greekgod: this is what scars you?

KookieMonster: listen i came to the industry a literal baby

KookieMonster: my only sexual experience is anything ive done with you guys and my hyungs
Lostboy: and porn

KookieMonster: okay and porn

KookieMonster: but ive never seen that

KookieMonster: oh god oh god thank god i dont just go around asking people how the sounding
was

Lostboy: now that would've been a disaster

KookieMonster: i dont think my hyungs know about it either so shush

Thaibaby: you really dont think namjoon hyung and jimin hyung dont know about sounding

KookieMonster: sounds fake even to my ears

KookieMonster: fair point

KookieMonster: okay so namjoon hyung and jimin hyung do indeed know about sounding and
have now proceeded to make fun of me for thinking it was something else

KookieMonster: why do i put myself in these situations

HitTheYug: ah yeah kook hows the sounding on your newest track huh

Megaphone: cant wait to hear it im sure the sounding was amazing

KookieMonster: oh not you guys too

KookieMonster: please stop

KookieMonster: im already traumatized from finding out what it actually is

EiffelPuppy: you're a real expert on sounding right

KookieMonster: very funny

Lostboy: imagine if i actually went up to woozi hyung and asked him to demonstrate the 'sounding'
for me

KookieMonster: s t o p

KookieMonster: actually

KookieMonster: do it coward

Lostboy: no thanks im good

KookieMonster: coward

EiffelPuppy: i think he'd be absolutely horrified

Megaphone: im doing it

HitTheYug: WHAT

Megaphone: yup watch this

Seventeen Groupchat

DK: @Woozi hyung

Woozi: ??

DK: can you demonstrate the sounding for me?

Woozi: the what

DK: the sounding!

DK: it'll be fun!

Woozi: no no i absolutely cannot do that

Woozi: WHAT THE FUCK SEOK

Jun: WHAT THE FUCK SEOK

DK: what?

Seungkwan: oh god please no

Seungkwan: please please no

Woozi: please dont ask me that ever again

DK: but hyung!

Woozi: DO NOT

Dino: What is it?

Woozi: NO.

~
97-Liners Groupchat

Megaphone: [image]

Megaphone: [image]

Thaibaby: the absolute horror and trauma

Thaibaby: I LOVE IT

Greekgod: well i for one can't believe you just did that but i applaud you

Megaphone: why thank you

Megaphone: @EiffelPuppy @Lostboy take that cowards

EiffelPuppy: im

EiffelPuppy: still shocked??

Lostboy: im impressed truly

KookieMonster: wow i said that bc i was embarrassed

KookieMonster: i didnt actually expect someone to ask him?

Megaphone: you're welcome.

HitTheYug: now this is the quality content i signed up for

HitTheYug: ive been thinking

HitTheYug: now i know for a fact that none of my hyungs know about blue waffles

EiffelPuppy: YUG NO

Greekgod: absolutely not

Thaibaby: okay sounding was one thing

Thaibaby: blue waffles is another

Thaibaby: DO NOT

KookieMonster: listen
 KookieMonster: and i think everyone would agree

KookieMonster: its better if they dont

Megaphone: fucking agreed

Lostboy: ^^^^

HitTheYug: :(

Thaibaby: yug i swear

Thaibaby: do not. or no sex for a week.

HitTheYug: FINE

Chapter End Notes

-If you didn't know what sounding or blue waffles were before this chapter then I am
so sorry for corrupting you. DO NOT LOOK IT UP

-Get ready you guys for the next chapter ;)

 Of Miscommunication and Drama
Chapter Summary

In which the past is exposed.

Chapter Notes

Greekgod: Jaehyun
Lostboy: The8
Megaphone: DK
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
KookieMonster: Jungkook
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom

-BASED ON POPULAR REQUEST.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

GOT7 Groupchat

Bambam: yall look what i found

Bambam: [image]

Yugyeom: you made fun of me for sending pics on the wrong group

Yugyeom: look at you now

Bambam: FUCKS SAKE

Bambam: sorry hyungs

Mark: aren't you two together?

Yugyeom: yeah?

Mark: then why are you texting each other instead of talking

Bambam: we're all just lazing around in the studio too lazy to talk

Bambam: so we're just texting each other on our group

Youngjae: you guys look so much younger in that pic

Yugyeom: lmao yeah what day was this

Bambam: i think it was the day kook lost his virginity

Bambam: or was it minghao

Jackson: wait what?

Jackson: but nct and bts got together only like a year or max two ago

Yugyeom: yeah

Jackson: this looks way older

Bambam: obviously

Bambam: we fooled around together

Jinyoung: you what

Yugyeom: well yeah

Yugyeom: you dont think bam and i didnt fuck around

Youngjae: well together yeah

Youngjae: but with the others too?

Bambam: yeah?

Bambam: whats wrong?

JB: you two fooled around with the other 97 liners

JB: well that explains so much doesn't it?

Yugyeom: what do you mean hyung?

Jinyoung: your closeness??

Jinyoung: the way we saw you all piled up over each other?

Bambam: hyungs?

Mark: you're probably fucking around right now all together

Bambam: how could you say that?

Jackson: let's see

Jackson: when yugyeom was in danger he texted your group instead of us

Jackson: so you trust them more huh?

Yugyeom: what?

Yugyeom: no of course not

Yugyeom: we trust them alot but you guys are our members

Jinyoung: i can't believe this.

Leaders Groupchat

JB: [image]

JB: [image]

JB: this goes to everyone

JB: get your boys off of mine.

Taeyong: they said we had nothing to be jealous over

Taeyong: wow

Seungcheol: i don't know what to say

Namjoon: get my boy off of yours?

Namjoon: did you not see this fucking conversation

Namjoon: you think I'm happy??

Seungcheol: please let's calm down

Seungcheol: namjoon you're usually calmer

Taeyong: how are you so calm about this?

Taeyong: they could be doing god knows what now

Seungcheol: well i'm finding out instead of yelling here like a maniac
~

97-Liners Groupchat

Thaibaby: guys

HitTheYug: we.... fucked up

Thaibaby: we're fucked

HitTheYug: especially you @KookieMonster

Greekgod: what happened??

EiffelPuppy: ????

KookieMonster: what did you do?

Seventeen Groupchat

Seungcheol: @Mingyu @DK @The8 where are you three right now

DK: um practice room

DK: anything wrong hyung?

Seungcheol: [image]

Seungcheol: [image]

Seungcheol: care to explain this?

Joshua: what's this?

Woozi: what the fuck

The8: hyungs please be calm and understand

Seungcheol: i want to know

Seungcheol: do you fuck around with everyone?

Seungcheol: is this what we are?

Seungcheol: just for fun?

Mingyu: hyung no please

Mingyu: it happened a long time ago

Mingyu: before any of our groups got together

DK: please don't think what we have is a fling

Wonwoo: why not?

Wonwoo: they're a group

Wonwoo: we're a group

Wonwoo: what's the difference?

Seungcheol: i don't want to jump to conclusions

The8: then give us a chance to talk

Seungkwan: im sorry hyung but you of all people shouldnt speak

The8: seungkwan please calm down

Seungcheol: i want you three back at the dorm later

Seungcheol: give everyone else will calm down

Seungcheol: we'll talk this out I promise

DK: thank you hyung

97-Liners Groupchat

EiffelPuppy: the members found out we fucked around

EiffelPuppy: and are blowing it out of proportion

EiffelPuppy: but coups hyung is trying to solve it i guess?

KookieMonster: fuck me.

KookieMonster: im totally screwed

Greekgod: fuck

KookieMonster: what are you so worried about?

Greekgod: i don't know if you know my members well

Greekgod: especially taeyong

Greekgod: they're sensible

Greekgod: but they're so fucking possessive it's borderline insanity

Thaibaby: personally im sorry

Thaibaby: we didnt think it was a big deal

Thaibaby: but idk what thats useful for when our members wont even talk to us right now

Megaphone: my god

Megaphone: hey they were bound to find out anyways

HitTheYug: still we opened our mouths and got us all into trouble

KookieMonster: im fucked but i dont blame you

KookieMonster: seoks right one day they were gonna find out

HitTheYug: im so fucking sorry to everyone

Greekgod: it's alright

Greekgod: this happened a long time ago and frankly we did nothing wrong

Greekgod: it's time we straightened this out

EiffelPuppy: atleast theyre a bit calm?

EiffelPuppy: i wonder why tho

Megaphone: i think deep down

Megaphone: they know they shouldn't be mad

Megaphone: but they're still hurt

NCT Groupchat

Taeyong: [image]

Taeyong: [image]
Taeyong: @Jaehyun you're not allowed near your 'friends' again

Yuta: wtf

Jaehyun: hyung

Jaehyun: be real

Taeil: no he's right we're not allowing you

Taeil: come back to the dorm right now

Jaehyun: you can't just "ban" me from seeing my friends

Doyoung: come back to the dorm

Jaehyun: you know what?

Jaehyun: no

Taeyong: come back to the dorm yoonoh

Jaehyun: no

Jaehyun: you can't just decide what i can do and what i can't

Taeyong: i'm your leader and yes i can

Jaehyun: for the last time no you can't

Jaehyun: this happened way before any of us got together

Jaehyun: so get it through your thick, possessive heads.

97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: [image]

Greekgod: [image]

Greekgod: i'm so not going back to the dorms

HitTheYug: you went OFF

Greekgod: fuck yes i fucking did

~
BTS Groupchat

Namjoon: [image]

Namjoon: [image]

Namjoon: would you all take a look at this?

Jimin: what?

Jin: @Jungkook this better be a fucking joke or you won't be happy

Jungkook: its not hyung

Jungkook: im sorry

Hoseok: how could you?

Namjoon: you never even told us

Taehyung: you never even told me???

Taehyung: I thought we were close??

Jungkook: we are hyungs

Jungkook: you just never asked so i never said anything

Jin: RICH

Jin: VERY FUCKING RICH

Yoongi: jin please calm down

Namjoon: no no let him continue

Namjoon: we spent time and effort to make sure his 'first time' would be special and memorable

Jungkook: can you please just hear me out?

Jimin: but of course

Jimin: it would be with his friends

Jin: the golden maknae with his golden friends

Hoseok: ah guys don't blame him

Hoseok: we just weren't spectacular enough

Hoseok: a bunch of poor teens

Jungkook: where is this coming from?

Taehyung: youre right hyung

Jungkook: since when are you so insecure?

Jin: and why would you care anyways huh?

Jin: golden maknae

Jungkook: @Yoongi please calm them down and listen to me

Yoongi: i think it's best of you leave us alone for a bit

Jungkook: oh

97-Liners Groupchat

KookieMonster: [image]

KookieMonster: [image]

KookieMonster: well that happened

Megaphone: kooks

Megaphone: you okay?

KookieMonster: im just gonna lock myself in my studio now

Greekgod: kookie...

HitTheYug: well open up kooks

HitTheYug: bam and i are picking everyone up and coming to you

EiffelPuppy: what?

Thaibaby: i think none of us want to be alone right?

Lostboy: you're right

Thaibaby: everyone pack up we need 10 minutes

KookieMonster: okay
Chapter End Notes

The drama is hereeeeeeeee!

If I copied all the requests for this in the summary, it would probably be longer than
the actual chapter.

I hope you guys like this chapter. I actually had a hard time writing this

Surprise in the next chapter!

 Of Members and Additions
Chapter Summary

Of Miscommunications and Drama Pt. 2

Chapter Notes

EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Megaphone: DK
Lostboy: The8
KookieMonster: Jungkook
Greekgod: Jaehyun
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
EarlyBird: Eunwoo

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

EiffelPuppy: guys i know we're in the middle of,,,,

EiffelPuppy: doom.

EiffelPuppy: but it was time we did this!!

EiffelPuppy: ATTENTION EVERYONE

EiffelPuppy: I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE

Thaibaby: tf is going on

KookieMonster: are you doing what i think youre doing

Megaphone: whats happening

Lostboy: ??????

HitTheYug: whaa

EiffelPuppy: GOOD

EiffelPuppy: now that you're all here

[EiffelPuppy has added Eunwoo to the chat]

EiffelPuppy: WELCOME CHA EUNWOO TO YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE

EiffelPuppy: i mean to this group

HitTheYug: omgomgongomg

HitTheYug: HIIII DONGMIN

KookieMonster: BITCH WELCOME

Greekgod: hi eunwoo :D

Megaphone: Heyyy!!

Lostboy: HIIIIII

Eunwoo: why do i feel like i've been warped into an alternate dimension

Thaibaby: hes sarcastic and already questioning his existence

Thaibaby: HE BELONGS HERE

Thaibaby: I LOVE HIM

Eunwoo: um thanks?

KookieMonster: aww baby dont be shy

EiffelPuppy: this group doesnt even know the meaning of shyness

EiffelPuppy: so you better get used to it quickly theres a whole lotta things that are happening

Eunwoo: ... do i wanna know?

Eunwoo: i'm kinda scared tbh

Greekgod: meh our members are currently mad at us because they found out we used to fuck
around before dating them so now we're all hiding in kooks studio

Greekgod: nothing important

Eunwoo: I KNEW IT

Eunwoo: I KNEW YOU GUYS WERE DATING

Megaphone: what?
Megaphone: no

Megaphone: babe focus

Eunwoo: oh

Megaphone: each one of us is dating their respective members

Eunwoo: Ohhh

Eunwoo: makes alot of sense tbh

Lostboy: why does everyone say that

Lostboy: are we that obvious?

Eunwoo: kinda yeah

Eunwoo: wait so you guys fucked around with each other

Eunwoo: so basically everyone's seen everyone's dick here?

Thaibaby: and tasted!

Eunwoo: uh good to know

Eunwoo: also like if you guys are all together why are you texting?

Lostboy: kooks studio isnt exactly the most soundproof thing yet and we're not taking any chances

Eunwoo: oh

KookieMonster: great now when are you getting into a polyamorous relationship with your
members?

Eunwoo: i have to be in a polyamorous relationship with my members?

KookieMonster: of course!

KookieMonster: group protocol

Eunwoo: whaaaaaat

Eunwoo: what makes you say that?

EiffelPuppy: your painfully obvious crush on your leader

EiffelPuppy: and on literally all your other members

Eunwoo: fuck.

Greekgod: yikes takes me back to my crush days

Eunwoo: ok so i like all my members sue me

Eunwoo: but i dont think they like each other romantically

KookieMonster: so no mutual polyamorous relationship?

Eunwoo: kooks if i can get one of them to like me back that would be great

Eunwoo: idk how you guys did it

Lostboy: BOYS WE HAVE A NEW MISSION

Megaphone: shouldnt we focus on fixing things with our members before creating a new
relationship?

Thaibaby: probably

Thaibaby: but the boy needs our help duh

Eunwoo: good luck with that!! :D

Thaibaby: oh also we're gonna need your address(es)

Thaibaby: anywhere you might be

Eunwoo: ...why?

HitTheYug: because how else would we kidnap you whenever we feel like it??

HitTheYug: and as designated driver of this group!

HitTheYug: i must know.

Eunwoo: wow you were right

Eunwoo: alot of things are happening in this group

EiffelPuppy: also no offence your name sucks

KookieMonster: MINGYU.

KookieMonster: TF MAN

Eunwoo: my name?
Eunwoo: tf

[EiffelPuppy changed Eunwoo's username to EarlyBird]

EiffelPuppy: muuuuuch better

EarlyBird: do i even have a choice?

KookieMonster: nope

Greekgod: not really

Lostboy: not a chance bird boy

Thaibaby: noooope

Megaphone: sorry no

HitTheYug: get used to it honey

EarlyBird: cool

EarlyBird: okay so what history should i know

EarlyBird: because by the looks of it?

EarlyBird: theres a lot of history

Greekgod: sit your ass down pretty boy

Greekgod: you're getting the 97-Liners Groupchat crash course

EarlyBird: oh boy

EarlyBird: okay so now that i got the history i have a question

Greekgod: yes my pupil

EarlyBird: can i come?

EarlyBird: to kooks studio i mean

EiffelPuppy: you want to come watch us wallow in misery?

EarlyBird: i mean what better way to bond right?

EarlyBird: plus you could use a cheer up

Megaphone: ....

Lostboy: ....

Thaibaby: ....

HitTheYug: ....

EiffelPuppy: ...

KookieMonster: .....

EarlyBird: i can bring icecream?

KookieMonster: [Location]

EarlyBird: okay so now that we've all stuffed our faces with icecream

EarlyBird: we can't just stay here guys

Thaibaby: we know

Thaibaby: but none of our members will listen

Megaphone: but seungcheol hyung seemed willing?

Lostboy: i mean yeah but doesn't make it less scary

EiffelPuppy: true

EarlyBird: take it from an outsiders point of view

EarlyBird: you guys haven't done anything wrong

EarlyBird: maybe kook a bit

KookieMonster: hey!

EarlyBird: shush they'll hear you

KookieMonster: once we're out of this mess youre done newbie

EarlyBird: anyways

EarlyBird: i say you need to lay down all the facts straight on the table
EarlyBird: hide nothing and explain your point of view

Greekgod: and what makes you think they'll hear us?

Greekgod: haven't you seen the chats?

EarlyBird: okay true

EarlyBird: but still

EarlyBird: maybe seventeen need to see first what happens and then report?

EarlyBird: ai this is a mess

HitTheYug: no shit sherlock

EiffelPuppy: but wait good idea

EiffelPuppy: maybe if our members understand (which is most likely out of everyone)

EiffelPuppy: then hyung can message the other leaders on their group and help us!!

EarlyBird: wait what group

HitTheYug: oh yeah all the leaders of our groups have a group together because of us

HitTheYug: and if all goes well theyll probs add jinjin hyung too

EarlyBird: so they like talk about us?

Thaibaby: snitch* about us

Thaibaby: yes

KookieMonster: they probably think we dont know

Lostboy: but we know

Lostboy: saw it on coups hyungs phone

EarlyBird: so if i do anything stupid with you guys here its gonna go to my members?

Thaibaby: yup

Megaphone: pretty much

EiffelPuppy: yep

KookieMonster: agreed
HitTheYug: 100%

Greekgod: no running from it

Lostboy: what they said

EarlyBird: oh god

Greekgod: back to our plan?

EarlyBird: yeah uh so coups hyung could be helpful

EarlyBird: maybe if he knocks some sense into them then you guys can text your groups without
them twisting your words or something

EarlyBird: and then once you lay out everything then you go and talk to them in person

Thaibaby: newbies right

Thaibaby: not bad

KookieMonster: im just scared it wont work out

KookieMonster: my hyungs are pretty upset

Greekgod: kookie it will work out im sure

EarlyBird: i'm not an expert but

EarlyBird: from what i've seen the reason why everyone is upset is because they love you all so
much

EarlyBird: and i guess they need the validation?

Greekgod: he's right

Megaphone: why is polyamory so hard

Lostboy: fucking agreed

KookieMonster: I dont fucking know man

Greekgod: hey newbie how are you so wise about this shit

EarlyBird: okay first are you guys gonna keep calling me newbie?

HitTheYug: for now yes

EarlyBird: and second

EarlyBird: trust me i'm not

EarlyBird: i can't even build up the courage to confess to my members but i guess since i'm not in
this mess it's easier to make sense?

EiffelPuppy: sounds legit

EiffelPuppy: so we have a plan?

HitTheYug: yup

KookieMonster: ^

Thaibaby: ^

Megaphone: ^

Greekgod: ^

Lostboy: ^

Seventeen Groupchat

Seungcheol: @DK @Mingyu @The8 you can come back now

Seungcheol: the members and I promise to hear everything you have to say

97-Liners Groupchat

Megaphone: [image]

Megaphone: guess that plan is in motion now

KookieMonster: im gonna be sick

Thaibaby: lets do this

Lostboy: okay okay sounds promising no?

EarlyBird: sounds good!!

EiffelPuppy: okay we can do this

HitTheYug: come on ill drop you off and come back

 Greekgod: good luck!!

KookieMonster: good luck

Thaibaby: no pressure but our fate lies in you hands right now

Megaphone: gee thanks bam

Megaphone: no pressure at all

Thaibaby: :D

Chapter End Notes

And the surprise is finally hereeeee!! Hope you guys liked it :D

 Of Resolutions and Confessions
Chapter Summary

Of Miscommunications and Drama Pt. 3

Or, S.Coups to the rescue.

Chapter Notes

EarlyBird: Eunwoo
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Megaphone: DK
Lostboy: The8
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
KookieMonster: Jungkook
Greekgod: Jaehyun

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

KookieMonster: im losing my mind just waiting for the boys to finish

KookieMonster: its been two hours

KookieMonster: i think im actually gonna be sick

HitTheYug: come let me cuddle you

EarlyBird: its gonna be over soon kooks

Greekgod: why am i nervous

Greekgod: i know im right

EarlyBird: because its normal?

HitTheYug: join the cuddle pile

Thaibaby: lets have a dogpile

Thaibaby: you too eunwoo

EarlyBird: :)

EiffelPuppy: we have news

Greekgod: oh thank god you're back

Thaibaby: how was it???

KookieMonster: please say something im seriously losing my mind

EarlyBird: everyone calm down let them talk

Megaphone: well

Megaphone: some members weren't happy

Megaphone: others were confused

Lostboy: coups hyung made us all sit down in the living room

Lostboy: then he let us tell our story from start to finish

EiffelPuppy: it was mostly the hyungs who were kinda pissed for some reason

EiffelPuppy: but then coups hyung shushed everyone and we had a long talk

Megaphone: eventually the situation died down

Lostboy: not gonna lie the situation is still a bit tense with some members

Lostboy: but they let us talk

Lostboy: and coups hyung was so understanding

Megaphone: minghao cried

EiffelPuppy: and he said something that was really important in our opinion

EiffelPuppy: he reminded us that what happened in the past doesn't define what happens right now

EiffelPuppy: and one of the main reason why this blew up very badly is because we made a big
deal out of it

EiffelPuppy: maybe if we told them before this wouldn't have happened you know?

HitTheYug: fucking hell hes right

Thaibaby: yeah

Greekgod: he is

KookieMonster: did he say anything about talking to the other leaders?

Megaphone: coups hyung wants to say something so i'll give him my phone okay

Megaphone: hey guys i just wanted to say that you're not entirely at fault here

Megaphone: we the members are also wrong because we haven't made you trust us enough to tell
us about this matter

Megaphone: and i think that's the major issue behind all of this: miscommunication from both
sides

Megaphone: tonight i made sure to establish that with my group and that should be your main goal
too

Megaphone: the boys asked and i will talk to the other leaders

KookieMonster: thank you so much hyung

HitTheYug: you have no idea how much this means to us

Greekgod: we'll be sure to take your advice into consideration

Thaibaby: thank you hyung

Lostboy: and now we wait for coups hyung to do his magic

EarlyBird: well the first part of the plan went well!!

EiffelPuppy: yeah thankfully

EiffelPuppy: we'll update you guys when hyungs done

Leaders Groupchat

Seungcheol: so i talked to my boys

Taeyong: and?

Seungcheol: and everything's okay now

JB: you can't tell you really just forgave them like that

Seungcheol: yes i did

Seungcheol: so?

Namjoon: what do you mean so?!

Namjoon: you know exactly what happened

Seungcheol: you know what yes i do

Seungcheol: they fucked around together years ago

Seungcheol: so they're not lying not cheating not deceiving anyone

Seungcheol: i don't understand why you three and even some of my members made such a big deal
out of it

Seungcheol: and don't you think we are wrong too?

Seungcheol: they knew we'd react like this so they thought it would be better to fucking hide it
from us because they were scared of this reaction

Seungcheol: i've seen nothing but love from these boys to you and to me and i wasn't going to start
doubting that from something that happened ages ago

Seungcheol: so get it through your fucking heads and go solve your communication problems.

97-Liners Groupchat

EiffelPuppy: [image]

EiffelPuppy: [image]

Thaibaby: im fucking crying

HitTheYug: we're so sending hyung a present after this

Greekgod: they didn't say anything after that?

EiffelPuppy: no i'm sorry

KookieMonster: fuck

EarlyBird: give them time to process things guys okay?

EarlyBird: have any of your groups said anything?

Thaibaby: dead silent

Greekgod: not a single message

KookieMonster: none

HitTheYug: nada

Megaphone: well now might be a good time to explain to them your points of view on the groups

EarlyBird: come on you can do it!!

Greekgod: thanks for the cheer up newbie

EarlyBird: are we still on the newbie thing goddamit

NCT Groupchat

Jaehyun: I'd like to explain myself without any interruption please

Jaehyun: I think I deserve this at least

Jaehyun: I love you all. And if you think I'm not as possessive of everyone of you as you guys are
for me then you're so fucking wrong.

Jaehyun: I get that you guys might be jealous but preventing me from going out of the dorm or
trying to control me really isn't going to solve anything. I could control my dongsaengs but I don't
because I trust them.

Jaehyun: Polyamory is hard, it's so fucking hard I know. But we're supposed to establish it on
trust. And I really want you to trust me because if I wanted to cheat I could've. So many times. At
so many events. But I don't want to because I love you.

Jaehyun: when I came here to be an idol I didn't know who I was going to be grouped with or what
was going to happen. I was so scared. But with your support and love I made it with you guys right
by my side.

Jaehyun: You're my best friends and my soulmates. I couldn't ask for a better group but I just wish
you guys trusted me a little more.

Taeyong: I was paranoid.

Taeyong: we all were

Taeyong: I guess with such a big group I was always so worried that anything could go wrong

Taeyong: that our bond wasn't strong enough

Taeyong: so we tried to control you thinking that if we did then you'd be ultimately ours and closer
Taeyong: but maybe that just made you farther

Taeyong: I'm speaking on the behalf of the group when I say I'm sorry

Taeyong: we have major issues that need to be resolved I know that now

Taeyong: or I guess I already knew that but I didn't want to acknowledge it

Taeyong: please come home jaehyun so we can talk properly

Jaehyun: promise not to lock me up?

Taeyong: we promise

Jaehyun: I will hyung

97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: for the ones who weren't reading this above my shoulder like hawks

Greekgod: [image]

Greekgod: [image]

Greekgod: [image]

Lostboy: GO JAE

Lostboy: YOU DID IT

Megaphone: that went well!!

Greekgod: yeah

EarlyBird: he literally sagged to the floor in relief when it was over

EiffelPuppy: no kidding

Megaphone: okay but your messages made me tear up wtf

EiffelPuppy: a true poet

Greekgod: what can I say

Thaibaby: look at him all cocky now

Thaibaby: you still have stuff to fix man

Greekgod: you couldn't let me celebrate for one minute could you

HitTheYug: nope

Greekgod: well how about you two get to work then?

Greekgod: don't you have stuff to do?

HitTheYug: fuck you

Thaibaby: what he said.

GOT7 Groupchat

Bambam: um hi hyungs

Yugyeom: we know you're feeling hurt and angry but please hear us out

Bambam: when we accidently let slip that we used to fuck around yug and i didn't think it was a
big deal

Bambam: because to us it really wasnt

Bambam: it was just something we used to do with our friends to let off some steam or to have fun
and it happened years ago

Yugyeom: but it hurt us a lot that you guys didnt trust us and implied that we were still together

Yugyeom: if you guys saw the amount of times bam and i moped around on the group because we
thought we had no chances with you

Bambam: we were seriously desperate

Bambam: it made us think are we not good enough for you?

Yugyeom: we would never do anything to hurt you guys we really want you to know that

JB: that's the problem

Bambam: hyung?

JB: you're too good for us

JB: when you guys revealed this secret the hyungs and I wasted no time in throwing accusations at
you because all this time you thought you maybe weren't good for us we were thinking that
we weren't good for you
JB: that you have your friends who might be infinitely more handsome or talented or smarter than
us and that we could lose you

Yugyeom: how could you all think that?

JB: When you're in a state of paranoia you don't think that's the problem

JB: We got jealous of your close friendship with the others and when the truth was out we thought
we could justify our jealousy

JB: will you two come back?

JB: we understand if you might not want to

Bambam: hyung yug and I would love to and fix things with you guys

Yugyeom: we love you

JB: we love you too

JB: take the time you need

Bambam: okay

97-Liners Groupchat

Thaibaby: [image]

Thaibaby: [image]

Thaibaby: [image]

EiffelPuppy: fuck yes

Megaphone: finally things are moving along

EarlyBird: only one more to go!

KookieMonster: yeah i cant do this

Greekgod: what do you mean you can't do this

KookieMonster: i cant

KookieMonster: im too scared

Lostboy: kook you literally punched the living shit out of the creeper that attacked yug and you
cant do this?
KookieMonster: thats different okay

EiffelPuppy: you could've went to fucking jail

EarlyBird: they're right kookie

EarlyBird: come on you can do this!!

EarlyBird: the rest and i aren't gonna leave before we make sure everything's good with you

KookieMonster: fuck okay

BTS Groupchat

Jungkook: hi

Jungkook: id like to say something if you guys dont mind

Namjoon: no let me talk first

Namjoon: please?

Jungkook: oh uh sure hyung

Namjoon: I got some sense knocked into me and i explained it to the rest of the group so whatever
I'm saying right now is on the behalf of everyone

Namjoon: we're insecure and we projected that on you. When we found out, all our insecurities
just boiled up to the surface and exploded. We were so sure we were your firsts that it felt like a
punch in the gut when we found out we weren't

Namjoon: we thought we weren't special enough for you when you are so special to us so you got
to see our worst sides

Jungkook: but that's the thing hyungs

Jungkook: you guys are special to me and my first time with you was special not because i lost my
virginity

Jungkook: its because it was with you the people that ive been in love with since forever maybe

Jungkook: i thought id never have a chance because having 6 crushes at the same time was just
unnatural and weird

Jungkook: but then you guys confessed that you loved me back and I saw stars because Im so
fucking in love with you i was ready to stay with you forever even if you didnt love me back that
way
Namjoon: kookie...

Namjoon: we can't lose you

Namjoon: you're our golden maknae

Namjoon: please we'll do anything

Jungkook: you havent lost me hyungs

Jungkook: youd never lose me

Jungkook: im was just scared that i lost you guys

Namjoon: Never

Jungkook: that makes me feel better

Namjoon: we're all waiting at the dorm for you whenever you're ready

Jungkook: thank you hyungs

97-Liners Groupchat

KookieMonster: [image]

KookieMonster: [image]

KookieMonster: [image]

Megaphone: ATTA BOY

Thaibaby: WAY TO GO KOOKS

Lostboy: CONGRATS KOOKIE

EiffelPuppy: i cried

HitTheYug: me too

Greekgod: newbie's bawling

EarlyBird: i'm just happy you guys all fixed your problems sue me

KookieMonster: thanks eunwoo for being here

KookieMonster: you didn't have to really

EarlyBird: hey you're my friends

EarlyBird: i don't really have that many close friends other than my members

Megaphone: we're here for you okay?

Greekgod: you can tell us anything

EiffelPuppy: by now you know we don't judge

EarlyBird: yeah

EarlyBird: i think it's time for each of us to go home now

HitTheYug: come on we'll drop you off too

97-Liners Groupchat

EarlyBird: how's everything guys?

HitTheYug: finally died down

HitTheYug: [image]

EarlyBird: aw is that a dogpile?

HitTheYug: yeah

HitTheYug: bams asleep probably too tired from all the crying

HitTheYug: hes such a softie

EarlyBird: and you aren't?

HitTheYug: touché

Lostboy: gyu and seok are sleeping too

Lostboy: but everyone finally came around and we made sure to thank coups hyung in a
very special way ;)

EarlyBird: aha

EarlyBird: i didn't need to know that

 HitTheYug: get used to it

EarlyBird: sigh

Greekgod: we're okay

Greekgod: we established boundaries and then had a huge dogpile

Greekgod: we actually pushed the couches in the living room and put the mattresses there so we
could all sleep in the same room

EarlyBird: that's so cute awwww

KookieMonster: there was alot of crying let me tell you that

KookieMonster: we talked about us then they started telling me all about how they used to crush
on me and i told them about my crush stage too

KookieMonster: it was embarrassing but funny too

KookieMonster: we're all camped in my room now

EarlyBird: that's great kooks

EarlyBird: i'm glad you're all okay

EarlyBird: get some sleep now

Greekgod: you too

EarlyBird: will do :)

Chapter End Notes

#TeamCoups

I cried while writing this chapter so I hope you guys did too.

But finally, the happy ending is here!!

 Of Disappearances and Temptations
Chapter Summary

In which, a new leader is added.

Chapter Notes

KookieMonster: Jungkook
Greekgod: Jaehyun
EarlyBird: Eunwoo
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Megaphone: DK
Lostboy: The8

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Leaders Groupchat

[Namjoon has added JinJin to the chat]

JinJin: oh my god

JinJin: sunbaenims!!

Taeyong: whats going on?

Seungcheol: hello

JB: hey

Namjoon: guys this is Jinwoo astros leader

Taeyong: yes of course!!

Namjoon: you can call us hyungs its fine

JinJin: oh thanks hyungs

JinJin: its an honor

JinJin: but im confused to why im here?

Namjoon: i recently found out from kook that your member eunwoo was added to their friend
groupchat

JB: Oh boy

JB: strap in kid youre gonna need us

JinJin: should i be scared?

Seungcheol: the 97-liners tend to be a bit... chaotic?

Taeyong: a bit?

Seungcheol: okay alot

Seungcheol: so trust us youre gonna need this group

Namjoon: yup

JinJin: yikes

Taeyong: indeed

JinJin: thanks for the heads up

Taeyong: man wish we had a heads up

JinJin: ...

JinJin: im scared to ask

JinJin: you guys sound like youve been through some shit

Namjoon: you have no idea kid

Seungcheol: no idea

97-Liners Groupchat

HitTheYug: GUYS

HitTheYug: JINJIN HYUNG HAS OFFICIALLY BEEN ADDED TO THEIR GROUP

Lostboy: WHAT

Lostboy: you sure???

Thaibaby: deadass
Thaibaby: saw it on jb hyungs phone

EarlyBird: you guys weren't kidding

Greekgod: nope newbie

Greekgod: dead serious

Megaphone: well that's established now

Megaphone: i personally refer to it as the 'snitch' group

Lostboy: you're not wrong

EiffelPuppy: back to business boys

EiffelPuppy: jinjin hyung has been added to that group now

EiffelPuppy: everyone thinking what I'm thinking?

KookieMonster: already booking the tickets

KookieMonster: pack your bags lads

EarlyBird: um what's going on?

Megaphone: impromptu trip to jeju island newbie

Lostboy: duh

EarlyBird: impromptu what now

HitTheYug: you have half an hour to pack a bag and get dressed

EarlyBird: you can't be serious

KookieMonster: where the fuck are you guys

KookieMonster: @Thaibaby @HitTheYug @EarlyBird

EarlyBird: I can't believe you guys were actually serious

Thaibaby: we're running late because we had to wrestle someone to finally shut up and come with
us

EarlyBird: my members are gonna flip

Lostboy: yeah well get used to it

Lostboy: you should've seen the prank war days

EarlyBird: thank god I wasn't there for that

EiffelPuppy: tsk he's such a goodie-two-shoes guys

EiffelPuppy: what are we gonna do with him?

Megaphone: this trip should set him straight

EarlyBird: i'm scared.

EarlyBird: @Greekgod help?

Greekgod: sorry they're right

EarlyBird: you were my only hope

Astro Groupchat

MJ: guys

MJ: where's eunwoo?

Moonbin: seriously!!

Moonbin: ive been looking for him all day!!

Sanha: idk i texted him hours ago but he hasnt replied

JinJin: wait what?

Rocky: hes been missing all day

JinJin: oh no

JinJin: have you guys checked anywhere he could be?

Moonbin: yup and no sign

JinJin: please no

Sanha: hyung?

Leaders Groupchat

JinJin: um hyungs?

JinJin: hi

JinJin: sorry to bother!

JB: hey kid what's up?

JinJin: well
JinJin: ive been looking everywhere for eunwoo but i cant find him

JinJin: and i cant reach his phone either

JinJin: i was hoping if you guys have any idea?

Seungcheol: shit i cant reach the boys either

Namjoon: kooks been gone all day too

Taeyong: jaehyun too

JB: one day of peace

JB: that's all i fucking ask

JinJin: so what does that mean?

Taeyong: it means that they're all together

Taeyong: again

Namjoon: the last time we couldn't reach them they were all on jeju island

Namjoon: you don't think that's where they went again do you?

Seungcheol: you fucking think

Taeyong: fuck's sake

JB: alright game plan

JB: we are not gonna fall for any seduction techniques again

JB: right?

Seungcheol: right.

Namjoon: right.

Taeyong: right.

JB: we will not cave in again

JB: right?

Taeyong: right.

Namjoon: right.

Seungcheol: right.

JB: good
JinJin: um whats going on

Taeyong: long story but whatever you do

Taeyong: DO NOT fall for eunwoo's charms

Taeyong: understand?

JinJin: um yes?

Namjoon: wait a minute

Namjoon: are you and the rest of astro in a polyamorous relationship by any chance?

JinJin: no?

Seungcheol: he's safe

JinJin: ??????

97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: okay everyone got their respective package?

Thaibaby: yup

Megaphone: ^

KookieMonster: ^

EarlyBird: um yes?

EarlyBird: why did we all get cute headbands?

HitTheYug: cute headbands

HitTheYug: HAHAHAHAH

HitTheYug: youre so cute eunwoo

EarlyBird: uh what am I missing on?

Greekgod: everyone got something different

Greekgod: this will help you avoid a huge ass scolding from your group!

EarlyBird: huh smart

EarlyBird: wonder why I didn't think of that

EarlyBird: what did you guys get?

EiffelPuppy: i don't think you wanna know

EarlyBird: oh

EarlyBird: yeahh I don't want to know thanks

Leaders Groupchat

JinJin: eunwoos back thank god

JinJin: and he got these really cute headbands

JinJin: is everyone back too?

JinJin: uh hyungs??

JinJin: hyungs???

Seungcheol: i fell for their seduction techniques.

Namjoon: yeah well so did I

Taeyong: same here

JB: fuckfuckfuckfuck

JB: WHERE IS THE SELF CONTROL

Seungcheol: THEY WERE THREE AND LOOKING EXTREMELY FUCKABLE EXCUSE ME

Taeyong: listen i'm a weak man

Taeyong: there.

Taeyong: i said it.

Namjoon: i can't even defend myself

JinJin: hyungs!

JinJin: everyone okay?

Namjoon: meh we've been better

JinJin: uh

JB: these boys are gonna be the complete death of me

JinJin: uh

Seungcheol: i just hope i wont die with a boner

JinJin: uh
 Taeyong: i think we broke the kid

JinJin: uh

Namjoon: rip in peace

Chapter End Notes

Hi

I mostly posted this chapter to apologize for the lack of updates.

I started uni again and because of all the projects I'm given I haven't opened AO3 in a
whole ass month
So yeah
Anyone who tells you "design is easy!!1!" please punch them in the throat for me
thanks

Anyways,

Seventeen stans how we doin huh

And TWICE stans HOW WE DOIN
 Of Bullets and Knives
Chapter Summary

A secret agent AU.

Chapter Notes

SO
This is a short experimental chapter that I wanted to try out!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

Yugyeom: @Mingyu @Minghao @Seokmin howd the seventeen mission go?

Minghao: are you kidding???

Minghao: it was awesome

Minghao: mingyu shot one bullet through three people

Mingyu: oh pft it was nothing

Jungkook: yeah?

Jungkook: and where was that talent in shooting practice last week

Jungkook: if i recall you almost shot jae

Mingyu: want a bullet through your head kook?

Jungkook: come at me bro

Jungkook: if you can shoot me

Mingyu: OH IT'S ON

Bambam: both of you shut up before i shoot a bullet through your heads

Jaehyun: it's 3 am in the fucking morning can we stop talking about bullets or I'm kicking all your
asses at knives practice on friday

Seokmin: jeez what's got you so cranky

Jaehyun: back from a side mission

Jaehyun: fucker took a swipe at my head

Bambam: touchy touchy

Jaehyun: wanna go punk

Bambam: sure daddy ;)

Jaehyun: for fuck's sake

Seokmin: eunwoo back from the astro mission?

Mingyu: should be

Eunwoo: yeah i'm back bitches

Eunwoo: missed me?

Yugyeom: you wish newbie

Eunwoo: i've literally been here for 2 years y'all still call me newbie?????

Bambam: yep

Bambam: newbie

Eunwoo: fuck's sake

Seokmin: how was it

Eunwoo: meh a few shots here and there

Eunwoo: the boss was kinda funny you know?

Eunwoo: gave us a good laugh

Seokmin: what he do

Eunwoo: tried to appeal to rocky by getting him to think about his 'poor innocent mother'

Jaehyun: aren't rockys parents agents too?

Eunwoo: EXACTLY

Jungkook: LMAOOOOO

Bambam: HAHAHAHAHAH

Seokmin: what a fucking idiot

Seokmin: please tell me you shot him

Eunwoo: nah

Minghao: WHAT

Eunwoo: and waste a bullet?

Mingyu: ooo

Mingyu: fair point there

Eunwoo: we had a lovely bonfire lads

Eunwoo: with him and the other human traffickers

Minghao: that's my boy

Eunwoo: I'M OLDER

Minghao: yeah but you're a newbie

Eunwoo: THAT'S IT

Eunwoo: ME AND YOU

Eunwoo: PRACTICE ROOM NOW

Jaehyun: if I hear noise coming from that practice room at 3 AM I won't hesitate to send your cut
up carcasses to your 'poor innocent mothers'

Jaehyun: understand?

Minghao: YES SIR.

Eunwoo: YES SIR.

Jungkook: ight man's got a point

Jungkook: and a stick up his ass but still

Jaehyun: jungkook I swear to god I'm this close to busting your ass

Jungkook: like you havent done before baby ;)

Bambam: OH SHIT AHAHAHHAHA

Jaehyun: FUCK'S SAKE

Jaehyun: GO BACK TO YOUR BOYFRIENDS KOOK

Eunwoo: wow so glad I wasn't there during that time

 Yugyeom: oh please you wish you were there during that time

Eunwoo: I don't

Eunwoo: I really don't

Mingyu: you do

Mingyu: we would've taught alot of things newbie ;)

Eunwoo: I

Eunwoo: I'm appalled

Jaehyun: okay you know what

Jaehyun: I'm done with you guys for today

Jaehyun: prepare for your asses to be beat on friday

Minghao: hot

Jaehyun: i'm catching some sleep

Jaehyun: see ya losers

Seokmin: takes one to know one!

Mingyu: HAHAHAHAHHA

Bambam: HAHAHAHHA

Chapter End Notes

So like, do people actually know that minghao doesnt really get lost and its just for the
purpose of this story?
Or do people just blindly follow my book? :)

Anyways, let me know if you guys like this and would like me to add more to it OR
even make more AUs!

And one more thing! I just wanted to say holy shit thank you for the kudos and
bookmarks! Never thought I'd actually reach this far!

PS: ATEEZ stans whERE WE AT

 Of Usefulness and Love
Chapter Summary

To those who requested a center-seokmin chapter.

Chapter Notes

EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
EarlyBird: Eunwoo
Greekgod: Jaehyun
KookieMonster: Jungkook
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
Megaphone: DK
Lostboy: The8

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Seventeen Groupchat

Seungkwan: has anyone seokmin hyung?

Seungcheol: wasn't he with you?

Seungkwan: well um

Seungkwan: i think he's sick because he wasn't singing properly today in vocal practice

Seungkwan: so he got a harsh scolding from the vocal teacher

Seungkwan: he didn't say anything but then disappeared from

Mingyu: why didn't he say anything? :(

Seungcheol: he didn't tell you and minghao anything?

The8: no hyung

Mingyu: we'll look for him

97-Liners Groupchat
EiffelPuppy: guys has seok talked to any of you today?

HitTheYug: what?

HitTheYug: no is he okay?

Lostboy: he's had a rough practice session

Lostboy: and knowing him he's probably beating himself over it fuck

KookieMonster: fucking hell hes just like jimin hyung

EiffelPuppy: please let us know if he talks to anyone of you?

Greekgod: of course

EarlyBird: of course!!

Megaphone: are gyu and ming here?

Thaibaby: seok!!

Thaibaby: theyre looking for you!!

Greekgod: they're not here

Greekgod: you okay sweetheart?

Megaphone: yeah..

Megaphone: am I useful guys?

KookieMonster: what?

KookieMonster: seok whats wrong?

KookieMonster: of course you are??

Megaphone: but I'm not really

Megaphone: the only useful thing about me is my voice

Megaphone: and I couldn't even sing right

Thaibaby: lee seokmin how dare you think that?

Megaphone: i'm not as handsome as mingyu or jeonghan

Megaphone: i don't know how to rap like vernon or wonwoo

Megaphone: i'm not a talented dancer like hoshi or minghao

Megaphone: and others like seungkwan or joshua have amazing vocals

Megaphone: i don't know why I'm even in this group

Megaphone: i'm sorry

EarlyBird: seok hey

EarlyBird: none of that is true sweetheart

Megaphone: but it is

HitTheYug: no it isnt and you should already know that

EarlyBird: seok

EarlyBird: i know how you feel okay?

EarlyBird: i've been called nothing but a pretty face

EarlyBird: that i was talentless

Megaphone: but you're not

EarlyBird: now I know none of that is true

EarlyBird: my members supported me and reminded me why i was with them in the group

EarlyBird: you're not just a pretty voice seokmin

Greekgod: never think that seok

Greekgod: you're an amazing friend

Greekgod: you're loyal funny passionate

Thaibaby: not to mention a sarcastic spitfire machine

KookieMonster: there is absolutely no one that could ever replace you

KookieMonster: we're all insecure sometimes and its okay

HitTheYug: but its important to not let our insecurities get the best of us right?
Megaphone: i guess

EarlyBird: did anyone ever tell you that you're useless?

Megaphone: no

EarlyBird: then why would you ever think that?

Megaphone: because you're all so perfect and i'm not

Megaphone: my only strong point is my voice and i couldn't even sing properly today

Thaibaby: if you think your only strong point is your voice then you wouldnt be in seventeen

Thaibaby: you wouldnt be here with us

Thaibaby: did you just forget all those times where you stood up for us and for your members?

Thaibaby: when you comforted us and them when we needed it?

Thaibaby: the times when we desperately needed a friend and you were there to keep us grounded
when yug and I were being too playful or jae was being too serious

KookieMonster: we always know that if we needed a shoulder to lean on you'd be there for us

KookieMonster: we'd always be here for you

EarlyBird: i'm fairly new but i know you've been through alot of shit together

EarlyBird: and that without your support you wouldn't have gone through it

Greekgod: the big point here is that we love you and your pretty voice

Greekgod: and your sense of humor

Greekgod: and everything else about you

Greekgod: and we can't imagine not having that with us

HitTheYug: know your worth seokie

HitTheYug: youre way too important for us

Megaphone: i

Megaphone: you have no idea how much that means to me

Megaphone: thank you

EarlyBird: you really should come out now

EarlyBird: your members are worried

Megaphone: yeah

Megaphone: i've actually been hiding in a closet all this time

EiffelPuppy: you're damn right we were worried and we're coming to get you lee seokmin

Megaphone: fuck

Lostboy: yes "fuck"

Lostboy: we're having a long ass talk at home because if you think we could ever let you go you're
wrong

EiffelPuppy: and if you think we're ever letting you go tonight you're dead wrong.

Greekgod: be easy on him guys

Lostboy: no sorry we want to address this issue as soon as possible then smother him in 8 levels of
cuddle piles

Lostboy: because it's the least he deserves

Thaibaby: LMAOOO

KookieMonster: youre a dead man seokie

HitTheYug: i would not want to mess with seventeen

EiffelPuppy: damn right

EiffelPuppy: please excuse us now we have a baby to take care of

Greekgod: @EarlyBird

Greekgod: hey newbie that was your first time ever witnessing a breakdown on this group no?

EarlyBird: well second if you count the whole fiasco with your members

KookieMonster: nah thats was a mess that doesnt count

EarlyBird: oh then yeah

Greekgod: know that if you came to us like that we wouldn't be any less supportive okay?
 EarlyBird: oh

EarlyBird: thanks guys

KookieMonster: and we need to fix that love situation with your members

EarlyBird: but that's complicated?

Greekgod: do you doubt us?

EarlyBird: no sir.

KookieMonster: good.

HitTheYug: knew he'd be scared of you two

Thaibaby: totally

Chapter End Notes

I couldn't find the exact comments so I'm sorry!

To those who requested this, hope I did you justice!!
There isn't enough Lee Seokmin love in this world. My baby ❤
 Of Relationships and Plans
Chapter Summary

Based on popular request.

Pt.1

Chapter Notes

EarlyBird: Eunwoo
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Megaphone: DK
Lostboy: The8
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
Greekgod: Jaehyun
KookieMonster: Jungkook

Y'all know what's coming ;)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: 97 LINERS GATHER UP

HitTheYug: whats happening??

Megaphone: ????

Lostboy: YES SIR

EiffelPuppy: um

KookieMonster: uh oh

Thaibaby: whats going on

KookieMonster: jaes all "army general" mode

Greekgod: THIS GATHER UP IS LITERALLY FOR DONGMIN AND HE'S NOT EVEN HERE
EiffelPuppy: OO I KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING

KookieMonster: @EarlyBird OMG GET IN HERE

Thaibaby: CAN ANYONE TELL US WHATS GOING ONNNN

EarlyBird: what i do

Greekgod: about time newbie

EarlyBird: should i be scared?

KookieMonster: YOU SHOULD BE EXCITED

HitTheYug: honestly kook and jae have been vibing together so much these days its fucking
freaky

KookieMonster: ;)

Greekgod: ;)

HitTheYug: super freaky i tell you

Lostboy: I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING

Greekgod: I ANNOUNCE

Greekgod: PLAN GET EUNWOO AND THE REST OF ASTRO TOGETHER IS IN ACTION
NOW

Megaphone: HOLY SHITTT

HitTheYug: OH MY GOD FINALLY

EarlyBird: WHAT DO YOU MEAN FINALLY

Lostboy: THIS IS GONNA BE EPIC

EiffelPuppy: YESSSSSS

Greekgod: anyways as leader

Thaibaby: wait who named you leader?

Greekgod: IM BORED

Greekgod: YOU AND YUG HAVE A COMEBACK SOON

Greekgod: SEVENTEEN JUST FINISHED FROM A COMEBACK

Greekgod: KOOK IS KOOK

KookieMonster: not gonna argue there tbh

Greekgod: and dongmin cant be leader

EarlyBird: but it's my group we're planning on so shouldn't I be leader?

Greekgod: you're hopeless sweetheart so no

Thaibaby: no

EiffelPuppy: no

Megaphone: no

KookieMonster: no

Lostboy: no

HitTheYug: no

EarlyBird: damn okay tough crowd

Greekgod: anyways

Greekgod: the plan in theory is simple: make the astro boys jealous

Thaibaby: ooooo

Lostboy: already love it

EiffelPuppy: amazing truly

EarlyBird: wait what how

Greekgod: simple: award show season is coming soon

Greekgod: that means after parties

Greekgod: and that means that we (this respective group) will be flirting nonstop with you and
you will be extremely responsive

EarlyBird: yeah haha except we're forgetting one thing

EarlyBird: WE DON'T KNOW IF THEY LIKE ME

KookieMonster: baby you need to calm down

KookieMonster: we've all seen the way they look at you

KookieMonster: trust us

HitTheYug: and besides if they do get jealous then that means they do like you

Thaibaby: duh

Lostboy: what they said

Lostboy: don't be an idiot newbie

HitTheYug: then theyll confess their undying love for you and celebrate with hot kinky passionate
sex

Thaibaby: duh

EarlyBird: shut it lost boy

EarlyBird: and assuming i agree to this plan

EarlyBird: do you really think your members would agree to it?

Megaphone: very fair point you've mentioned which is why they will be in on the plan

Thaibaby: duh

EarlyBird: what

Megaphone: what i'm saying is that we should first ask permission from them so we don't repeat
the fiasco of last time

Greekgod: true

Megaphone: and we can't forget the leaders groupchat

Lostboy: GENIUS

KookieMonster: so anything we want astro to know our leaders can transmit!!

Thaibaby: duh

Megaphone: exactly

Greekgod: excellent thinking boys

Megaphone: thanks sir

EarlyBird: but uh what if it's awkward between us?

EiffelPuppy: we all know you have good acting skills so you need to put them to use

EiffelPuppy: got it?

EarlyBird: but like

EarlyBird: uh

EarlyBird: what if your members don't agree?

Thaibaby: eunwoo whats wrong?

Lostboy: spit it out dongmin

EarlyBird: it's just that I really like them all and this plan is kinda giving me hope but I don't want
to raise my hopes up incase it turns out to pointless and they don't actually like me back

KookieMonster: hey

KookieMonster: i think we all remember this stage of our relationships and how scared we felt

Lostboy: yeah it was scary as hell

Lostboy: but we had to have hope you know?

Lostboy: and we had each other in case anything went wrong

Lostboy: and now you have us right guys?

Megaphone: of course!!!

EiffelPuppy: we're with you everything step of the way

HitTheYug: and its gonna work trust us

HitTheYug: how do you think we got together with our members?

EarlyBird: you made them jealous too?

Greekgod: well no

Greekgod: i mean not all of us

Greekgod: there were... other things included

EarlyBird: do i want to know?

Greekgod: well if you must...

EarlyBird: NO NO NO IM GOOD

HitTheYug: eunwoo if you're always shy about these things then how are you gonna have hot
kinky passionate sex with your members?!

EarlyBird: oh god please stop with the hot kinky passionate sex

KookieMonster: no hes right do we need to give you sex 101?

EarlyBird: im good

EarlyBird: i swear

Greekgod: alright alright the sex talk can continue later

Greekgod: right now we need permission

Megaphone: on it

Thaibaby: gotcha

KookieMonster: alright

EarlyBird: i don't think you're gonna get it

GOT7 Groupchat

Yugyeom: hyungies!!

Mark: yeah baby?

Youngjae: what's up?

Yugyeom: bammie and i want permission

JB: for what?

Bambam: we want to know if its okay to flirt with eunwoo during award show season

Jinyoung: what

Jackson: im confused

Yugyeom: what he meant is

Yugyeom: eunwoo has a huge ass crush on all his members and each of his members have a huge
ass crush on him but they dont know that so we want to flirt with eunwoo to make astro jealous so
they can confess their feelings and live happily ever after!!

Jinyoung: oh

Jinyoung: when you put it like that then makes more sense

Jackson: DO IT

Jackson: this is gonna be so much fun

Bambam: wait so we have permission?

Bambam: and you wont be mad over it?

Mark: i think we all learned our lesson that day

Mark: we trust you two just as much as you trust us

Youngjae: exactly

Yugyeom: LOVE YOU HYUNGS

Bambam: oh and jb hyung

JB: ??

Bambam: we need your help

JB: how can i help?

Yugyeom: everyone knows about the leaders groupchat

Yugyeom: so can you report to us anything that jinjin hyung says?

JB: ahh

JB: of course babies

Bambam: LOVE YOU HYUNGS

BTS Groupchat

Jungkook: hyungs!!

Jungkook: i need permission please

Jungkook: if you say no its okay!!

Jin: ???

Jungkook: [image]

Jungkook: [image]

Jungkook: [image]

Namjoon: granted

Hoseok: have fun!!

Jimin: SEND UPDATES

Jimin: TAE AND I ARE DYING FOR SOME DRAMA

NCT Groupchat

Jaehyun: guys

Jaehyun: question

Winwin: ???

Jaehyun: can i get permission to flirt with eunwoo during award show season with anyone of you
getting hurt or jealous because i love you all and the only reason I'm doing this is because it's part
of our plan to get eunwoo together with the rest of his members because he's so madly in love with
all of them and they are too but nobody knows that?

Mark: wait you're getting astro together?

Jaehyun: yup

Doyoung: and they're being completely oblivious to each other's feelings?

Jaehyun: yup

Taeil: sounds like alot of work

Jaehyun: yup

Taeyong: well get to work then

Jaehyun: so no possessive irrational jealousy?

Taeyong: well of course we can't help being jealous

Taeyong: but we fully trust you

Taeyong: never repeating that experience ever again baby

Jaehyun: thank you

Ten: anything we can do to help!!

Jaehyun: actually taeyong hyung can

Jaehyun: tell us anything jinjin hyung says?

Taeyong: of course!!

Seventeen Groupchat

The8: [image]

The8: [image]

The8: [image]

Seokmin: yes or no guys!!

Mingyu: we understand if you say no!!

Joshua: astro are getting together?

Mingyu: well not in the same way as us but if the plan goes right then yeah!!

Dino: i thought astro was together already?

Seungkwan: what do you mean astro isnt together already

Hoshi: THEIR ALL NIGHT CHOREO IS SO GAY

Hoshi: ESPECIALLY THAT ONE MOVE

Hoshi: I THOUGHT EUNWOO WAS DEFINITELY DATING ROCKY

Seokmin: RIGHT

The8: instead!!

The8: hes so innocent about all this!!

Jeonghan: oh my poor oblivious boy

Seungcheol: i think judging by our reactions i can safely say yes you have permission

Wonwoo: is every group getting together these days?

Jun: seriously seems like it

Jun: i dont think red velvet are together tho

Mingyu: twice are

Vernon: KNEW IT

Woozi: are exo together?

Dino: omg no clue

97-Liners Groupchat

Thaibaby: [image]

Greekgod: [image]

KookieMonster: [image]

Megaphone: [image]

EarlyBird: I can't believe you guys actually got permission

HitTheYug: you should really stop underestimating us babe

EarlyBird: I really fucking should.

Lostboy: LMAOO BTS HYUNGS DIDN'T EVEN BLINK

KookieMonster: RIGHT

EiffelPuppy: seriously tho does anyone know if exo are together?

Greekgod: yeah they are

Greekgod: jungwoo once walked in on them in a practice room

Greekgod: safe to say he learned a thing or two that day

Lostboy: omg we gotta tell our members

EarlyBird: AHEM
 EarlyBird: so we're really doing this?

Thaibaby: yup

Thaibaby: everyones in on it now and everyone wants to help so theres no backing out now

EarlyBird: alright

EarlyBird: okay yeah let's do it

Greekgod: about time

Chapter End Notes

AHH PLAN IS IN ACTION

Also curiousity killed the cat but: where are you guys from :D
 Of Missions and Tickles
Chapter Summary

Of Relationships and Plans Pt.2

Chapter Notes

EarlyBird: Eunwoo
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
KookieMonster: Jungkook
Greekgod: Jaehyun
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Lostboy: The8
Megaphone: DK

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: we most probably won't be able to talk until after the awards

Greekgod: but everyone's confirmed for the after party?

Megaphone: yup

Bambam: yep

KookieMonster: confirmed!!

EarlyBird: yeah

HitTheYug: now this is gonna be fun

Greekgod: @KookieMonster

Greekgod: in place?

KookieMonster: i was just chatting with binnie and sanha so my hyungs and I are "conveniently"
next to astro
KookieMonster: and i'm "conveniently" hidden between joonie and jin hyung

Greekgod: perfect

KookieMonster: guys move a bit to the left yall are being blocked by ateez

KookieMonster: who are seriously busting some moves??

Lostboy: focus kookie

KookieMonster: right sorry

KookieMonster: okay now we can see you

EarlyBird: are they looking?

KookieMonster: occaisional glances

Greekgod: we need their full attention

KookieMonster: i got it

KookieMonster: mingyu backhug eunwoo and rest your chin on his shoulder

KookieMonster: goddamit lower your arms or run them up and down it shouldnt be this friendly

KookieMonster: THEYRE LOOKING

Greekgod: everyone?

KookieMonster: no wait

KookieMonster: NOW THEY ARE

KookieMonster: when i say go mingyu youll trap eunwoo in the hug and the rest of you will tickle
attack him

KookieMonster: and dongmin youve gotta let out your loudest laughter

Greekgod: just tell us when

KookieMonster: wait for it

KookieMonster: OKAY GO

KookieMonster: aw eunwoo youre adorable

KookieMonster: YALL ASTRO ARE NOT HAPPY

KookieMonster: if looks could kill i think youd be murdered by now

EarlyBird: but i looked at them and they didnt look mad?

KookieMonster: oh thank god I thought you died of laughter

EarlyBird: seriously you guys almost killed me

Thaibaby: someones sensitive ;)

EarlyBird: shut up

EiffelPuppy: someones really sensitive ;))

EarlyBird: SHUT UP

KookieMonster: anyways babe they werent glaring but the tension was rolling of them in waves

KookieMonster: like all they could do was watch the guys smother you

KookieMonster: my hyungs were this close to bursting out in laughter

EarlyBird: are you sure?

KookieMonster: 100000000%

EarlyBird: if you say so

Greekgod: anyways good jobs boys

Greekgod: i declare mission one successful

HitTheYug: thanks chief

Greekgod: thank you jungkook for being our scoutsman this time

KookieMonster: my honor chief

Greekgod: now we discuss future plans

Megaphone: so the next after party's next week

Megaphone: but we can't just do nothing this week

Greekgod: correct

Greekgod: any ideas?

Thaibaby: i got it

Thaibaby: everyones busy with rehearsals rn but if we can coordinate our freetimes this week then
yug can steal eunwoo and take him to kooks studio because its famous by now

KookieMonster: I should make you guys keys

Lostboy: ooo i want one!!

KookieMonster: no jerking off in my studio thanks

Thaibaby: anyways

Thaibaby: namjoon hyung can take a photo and send it to the leaders group so jinjin hyung can see
it!!

Greekgod: wow

Greekgod: i'm guessing the shared got7 braincell is with you right now

HitTheYug: haha very funny

EiffelPuppy: he's right though lmao

Greekgod: but yes we can do that

Greekgod: how's wednesday for you guys?

KookieMonster: sounds good

HitTheYug: im good

Greekgod: dongmin?

EarlyBird: sigh I don't have a choice anyways do I?

Lostboy: you really don't

EarlyBird: wednesday sounds good

Greekgod: great

EarlyBird: yug just kidnapped me

EiffelPuppy: amazing

EiffelPuppy: once all of this is over we're taking you to the cat café we all go to
EarlyBird: YOU GUYS WENT TO A CAT CAFÉ AND NEVER TOLD ME?

Lostboy: yeah well if you cooperate then the plan will succeed then we can take you

Thaibaby: yooo ming just destroyed you

EarlyBird: you guys are mean

Megaphone: love you too babe

EarlyBird: okay we're here @KookieMonster

KookieMonster: doors open

KookieMonster: joon hyungs here too

Greekgod: perfect.

Greekgod: @HitTheYug @EarlyBird sit on the couch and cuddle

Greekgod: make sure you're really close

HitTheYug: i got it

Greekgod: and kook you be in the picture too okay?

KookieMonster: dont worry about it

Leaders Groupchat

Namjoon: [image]

Namjoon: walked into kookie's studio only to find this

Namjoon: couldn't help but take a picture

JB: oh my god that's adorable

Seungcheol: look at the way eunwoo's curled up against yug!!

Taeyong: poor jae wanted to be there but he got so tired

JinJin: are they

JinJin: cuddling?
Namjoon: yes

Namjoon: they must be so tired from award show season

JinJin: right

JB: anything wrong jinwoo?

JinJin: nothing hyung

JinJin: just tired :)

Taeyong: get some rest!

JinJin: will do!

ASTRO Groupchat

JinJin: [image]

JinJin: isnt this adorable?

Rocky: haha thats so cute!

MJ: adorable really

Sanha: super!!

Moonbin: so cute

97-Liners Groupchat

EarlyBird: [image]

EarlyBird: this is what my members said on our group

Lostboy: [image]

Lostboy: and that's what jinjin hyung said on the leaders groupchat

Lostboy: @EarlyBird anymore proof that your members are head over heels in love with you and
cant wait to have HKPS with you?

EarlyBird: HKPS?

HitTheYug: hot kinky passionate sex

Thaibaby: duh

EarlyBird: again with the hot kinky passionate sex

EarlyBird: is that all you guys think about

EiffelPuppy: i'd say no but seokmin's giving one hell of a blowjob to wonwoo hyung right now so I
can't really lie

EiffelPuppy: putting that strong throat to good use ;)

EarlyBird: I'm-

EarlyBird: ok.

EarlyBird: anyways these convos don't prove anything guys

EarlyBird: all they did was say that we were cute and adorable over and over again

Greekgod: you've gotta be less pessimistic bro

EarlyBird: i'm just trying not to get my hopes up

Thaibaby: then we'll have to prove it to you

Greekgod: anyways I declare mission 2 successful

Greekgod: thank you @HitTheYug and @KookieMonster for your sacrifice

HitTheYug: my pleasure chief

KookieMonster: anytime chief

EarlyBird: what about my sacrifice?

Greekgod: doesn't count

EarlyBird: gee thanks chief

Greekgod: anytime baby

Greekgod: this week we're kicking it up a notch

Thaibaby: can't wait ;))))

EarlyBird: ....

EiffelPuppy: oh loosen up eunwoo we all know you're enjoying this too

 EarlyBird: no proof

Lostboy: would you like another tickle fest?

EarlyBird: ALRIGHT ALRIGHT

EarlyBird: I AM

HitTheYug: we know ;)

EarlyBird: it is fun

EarlyBird: again I didn't have much friends outside of my members and trainees

EarlyBird: it's new but thank you guys for helping me

Greekgod: anytime

Thaibaby: anytime!!

KookieMonster: of course

EiffelPuppy: you don't even have to thank us

Lostboy: ^!!

Lostboy: oh and seok says "your welcome!!" but you can't really hear it because he's choking on
dick

EarlyBird: tell him I still appreciate it

Lostboy: he gave a thumbs up

Greekgod: onto mission 3 boys

Chapter End Notes

This is either gonna span over 3 or 4 parts, I'm not sure. But anyways I hope you enjoy
this!
 Of Lividness and Kisses
Chapter Summary

Of Relationships and Plans Pt.3

Chapter Notes

KookieMonster: Jungkook
Greekgod: Jaehyun
EarlyBird: Eunwoo
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
Thaibaby: Bambam
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Megaphone: DK
Lostboy: The8

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: @Lostboy you're our lookout this time right?

Lostboy: yes sir

Megaphone: i love how obedient he's being

Megaphone: we should use that to our advantage @EiffelPuppy

EiffelPuppy: you're absolutely right

EarlyBird: please keep your freaky shit until after the after party thanks

EarlyBird: and do not hit me with the HKPS right now

Thaibaby: goddamit

HitTheYug: youre no fun

KookieMonster: lets just get this show on the road

Greekgod: @Lostboy update us

Lostboy: jae turn a bit so it isn't so obvious that you're texting

Greekgod: better?

Lostboy: yeah good

Greekgod: are you sure astro can't see you texting us?

Lostboy: jun and wonwoo hyungs are standing next to me and also reading this chat

Greekgod: hi hyungs thanks for helping us :)

Lostboy: they say hi back!

Lostboy: okay okay astro are looking

Lostboy: i'm guessing after last time they don't trust our group much ;)

Lostboy: alright bam kiss his cheek

Lostboy: oh boy that set them right off

Lostboy: okay now everyone kiss his cheeks

Lostboy: okay okay you guys astro are not happy

Lostboy: at all

Lostboy: i swear to you mj hyung slammed his glass onto the table next to him and it fucking
shook

Lostboy: this is amazing

Greekgod: good good we need to kick it up

Lostboy: tell you what

Lostboy: force eunwoo to kiss everyone's cheeks

Greekgod: good idea soldier

Lostboy: (side note: my hyungs are losing their shit over here LMAOO)

Lostboy: YO

Lostboy: SANHA TRIED TO WALK OVER TO YOU GUYS BUT ROCKY AND MOONBIN
STOPPED HIM

Lostboy: they're so obviously pissed omg

Lostboy: @HitTheYug wonwoo hyung says grab eunwoos butt

Lostboy: aaaand astro's leaving the room

~
EarlyBird: oh my god did you have to make me kiss everyone's cheeks?

EarlyBird: that was so embarrassing

KookieMonster: you were red as a tomato

KookieMonster: adorable really

HitTheYug: he has a soft butt too

EarlyBird: please stop

Lostboy: LMAO YOU SQUEAKED SO LOUD

EarlyBird: STOPPPP

EarlyBird: I DIDN'T EXPECT THAT OKAY

EiffelPuppy: you're too adorable

EiffelPuppy: if your members don't eat you up we might as well

EarlyBird: CAN WE MOVE ON THANKS

Greekgod: ahem

Greekgod: first of all excellent scouting @Lostboy

Greekgod: and also please thank wonwoo hyung for the amazing suggestion

Megaphone: he says "no thanks needed its entertainment for us all"

EarlyBird: I'm glad my love life is entertainment for the entire kpop industry apparently

Thaibaby: yeah even blackpink know about this

Thaibaby: sorry dongmin (not really)

EarlyBird: WHAT HOW

Thaibaby: the thai idols groupchat

Thaibaby: duh

EarlyBird: well great

Thaibaby: truly

Greekgod: BACK TO OUR MISSION

Greekgod: we've made a breakthrough today boys

Greekgod: for the first time we finally got visible reactions from the astro members
EarlyBird: yeah

EarlyBird: i'm starting to believe that they may actually be jealous

KookieMonster: about fucking time babe

EarlyBird: come at me bro

KookieMonster: I'd come for that ass any day ;)

EarlyBird: YOU HAVE BOYFRIENDS

Greekgod: CAN WE STOP GETTING SIDETRACKED

KookieMonster: sorry chief

Greekgod: yes anyways the next party should really be the cherry on top

Leaders Groupchat

JinJin: hi hyungs

Taeyong: hey jinjin

JB: anything wrong? :)

JinJin: no!

JinJin: just

JinJin: arent you guys in polyamorous relationships with your respective members?

Namjoon: yup

JinJin: and you love them and are possessive over them?

Seungcheol: yup

JinJin: and you even fought because you love them so much and couldnt stand the thought of
them being with anyone else?

Namjoon: yup

JinJin: so all the flirting and skinship and the kissing they do with eunwoo doesnt bother you?

JB: nope

Taeyong: should it?

JinJin: I

JinJin: nope nevermind

JinJin: just ignore everything I said

Seungcheol: everything alright jinwoo? :)

JinJin: peachy! :)

GOT7 Groupchat

JB: [image]

JB: [image]

JB: this boy is slowly being driven insane

Bambam: LMAOOOO THIS IS GOLD

Yugyeom: THANKS HYUNG

97-Liners Groupchat

HitTheYug: [image]

HitTheYug: [image]

HitTheYug: THIS HAPPENED ON THE LEADERS GROUPCHAT

Thaibaby: YALL CANT TELL US THEY ARENT SMITTEN WITH EUNWOO

EarlyBird: oh wow that really happened

Thaibaby: YEAH BOY IT DID

EarlyBird: but he didn't say that it bothered them specifically

EarlyBird: and if they really are bothered how come they haven't said anything to me yet? :(

Greekgod: don't worry your pretty little head about it

Greekgod: we're putting our all in the next plan

Greekgod: got it boys?

Megaphone: YES SIR

Lostboy: YES SIR

Thaibaby: YES SIR

KookieMonster: YES SIR

HitTheYug: YES SIR

EiffelPuppy: YES SIR

Greekgod: alright boys tonight's the night

Greekgod: where's our lookout for today

Thaibaby: reporting for duty sir

Greekgod: perfect

Greekgod: are you covered

Thaibaby: yup

Thaibaby: my hyungs are all around me

Thaibaby: jackson has popcorn too

Thaibaby: this should be fun

Greekgod: okay what's astro's situation

Thaibaby: eyes like a hawk on you guys

Thaibaby: no fucking joke

Thaibaby: wait fuck some idols are talking to them hold on

Thaibaby: okay when the idols turn to leave that's when you should grab his hips and grind
against each other

Thaibaby: (or atleast make it seem like it)

Thaibaby: OKAY NOW

Thaibaby: DO IT JAE

KookieMonster: okay okay hows astro

Thaibaby: livid

Thaibaby: im pretty sure that if they could they wouldve cut jaes hands by now

KookieMonster: YIKES

Thaibaby: YEAH

Thaibaby: THEYRE THAT PISSED

Thaibaby: jinjin hyung just downed an entire flute of champagne like its a fucking shot of vodka
yikes
Thaibaby: and hes going for another one

Thaibaby: i think now might be a good time for DK to pretend to whisper suggestively into
eunwoos ear and for eunwoo to "go to the bathroom"

Thaibaby: make sure he looks like you guys gangbanged him!!

KookieMonster: dont worry about it

Thaibaby: holy fucking shit did you guys actually gangbang him?

Greekgod: nope

Greekgod: but we did a pretty good job didn't we

Thaibaby: amazing

Thaibaby: truly impressed

Thaibaby: RED ALERT ASTRO IS COMING TOWARDS YOU GUYS

Thaibaby: IM SHAKING IN EXCITEMENT

Thaibaby: did

Thaibaby: did they

Thaibaby: actually drag eunwoo away

Greekgod: holy fucking shit

EiffelPuppy: HOLY SHIT

EiffelPuppy: WHAT DO YOU THINK IS GONNA HAPPEN

Megaphone: i swear to god they were glaring at us

KookieMonster: I SAW THEM TOO

HitTheYug: IM SHAKING

Lostboy: are they finally gonna confess holy shit

Greekgod: @EarlyBird you need to update us as soon as you can

Megaphone: i think this is the most exciting thing that happened to us since the prank war maybe

HitTheYug: what about taco night

Megaphone: oh yeahhh

KookieMonster: man that was wild

 EiffelPuppy: no kidding

Thaibaby: so now what?

Greekgod: guess we'll have to wait and see

Chapter End Notes

I want merch that says HKPS.

 Of Meddling and Resolutions
Chapter Summary

Of Relationships and Plans Pt.4

Chapter Notes

Greekgod: Jaehyun
EarlyBird: Eunwoo
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Megaphone: DK
Lostboy: The8
KookieMonster: Jungkook

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

EiffelPuppy: @EarlyBird we haven't heard from you since yesterday???

EiffelPuppy: tf happened???

Thaibaby: DID YALL HAVE HKPS

Thaibaby: WE NEED DETAILS

EarlyBird: no.

EarlyBird: we didn't

Megaphone: well then what happened?

EarlyBird: nothing happened

KookieMonster: what do you mean nothing happened??

EarlyBird: I mean nothing happened

EarlyBird: they aren't talking to me

Lostboy: what?

Lostboy: why?
EarlyBird: I don't know guys

EarlyBird: I really don't

EarlyBird: I had hopes that maybe this plan was actually working but it just created problems
instead

EarlyBird: I really appreciate your help tho

EarlyBird: thank you for everything but I'm calling it off

HitTheYug: this doesnt make sense tho

EarlyBird: I think I'm just gonna sleep it off

KookieMonster: come on eunwoo

KookieMonster: studios open

EarlyBird: okay

HitTheYug: already grabbed my keys

HitTheYug: be there in 20

Lostboy: pick me up on the way!!

HitTheYug: gotcha

Private chat: Jungkook and Jaehyun

Jaehyun: once he gets there keep him distracted and don't let him check the group at all

Jungkook: you talked to taeyong hyung yet?

Jaehyun: will do now

Jungkook: good

NCT Groupchat

Jaehyun: @Taeyong hyung we need your help

Taeyong: what happened?

Jaehyun: [image]

Taeyong: what...

Taeyong: I thought for sure they liked him?

Jaehyun: we thought so too

Mark: poor eunwoo tho...

Ten: I was rooting for them :(

Jaehyun: I think there's a misunderstanding somewhere

Jaehyun: can you maybe find out from the leaders groupchat?

Taeyong: you got it

Taeyong: do the rest of the leaders know about this?

Jaehyun: they should by now

GOT7 Groupchat

Bambam: [image]

Bambam: @JB hyung help

JB: what do you suggest?

Bambam: rile jinjin hyung up

Bambam: im sure they like him

Bambam: lets continue the plan to the end

BTS Groupchat

Jungkook: [image]

Jungkook: help @Namjoon hyung

Namjoon: woah i didn't expect that

Jungkook: eunwoos coming over in a few so i wont be able to check in much

Jungkook: the rest are talking to their leaders and we've agreed that we wanted to rile jinjin hyung
up as much as possible

Jungkook: can you help?

Namjoon: leave it to me baby

Taehyung: i know jimin and i were dying for some drama but we're about to cry here

Jimin: poor baby eunwoo

Jungkook: thanks hyung

Seventeen Groupchat

Mingyu: [image]

DK: @Seungcheol make them regret.

Woozi: okay woah damn i think we need to calm down

Mingyu: what he means is please help us get the full truth out?

Seungcheol: oh dont worry that was the plan ever since i saw minghao leave the dorm

DK: thanks hyungie :D

Wonwoo: aaaand hes back

Seungkwan: that duality tho

Vernon: no kidding

Leaders Groupchat

Taeyong: hey guys

JinJin: hi hyung

Taeyong: did you see the way the boys completely messed up eunwoo at the afterparty?

JB: its like they totally ravaged him

Seungcheol: i wonder what happened in that toilet

Namjoon: maybe we should consider more public settings in our sex lives

JB: wonder what theyre gonna next tho

JinJin: okay you know what

JinJin: im sorry if im being too disrespectful but please keep your boys' hands off of eunwoo

JinJin: that was no appropriate look

Taeyong: oh?

Taeyong: and why should we stop our boys from having fun?

Seungcheol: yeah whats wrong with that?

JinJin: BECAUSE IT MAKES NO SENSE

JinJin: BECAUSE WE'VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH HIM FOR YEARS AND YOUR
DONGSAENGS JUST CAME AND SCOOPED HIM UP

JinJin: AND NOT TO MENTION THEYRE DATING YOU

JinJin: HOW COULD YOU LET THEM

JB: jinjin...

JinJin: do you know what its like to see the boy youre in love with be in love with someone else
goddamit

JinJin: the guys and i are absolutely smitten for him and we even agreed to share him if he would
have us

JinJin: but then the precious perfect 97 liners came it and swooped him and have been rubbing it
in our faces

Seungcheol: we have news for you then

JinJin: what could it be

Seungcheol: theyre not dating

JinJin: what?

Namjoon: theyre not dating

Namjoon: we promise

JinJin: but then what about all the kissing and skinship?

JB: its FAKE

JB: to rile YOU up

JinJin: i dont understand...

Taeyong: well first off i think you wouldve known that if you communicated with him and talked
to him instead of ignoring him

Taeyong: second of all

Taeyong: [image]

JinJin: so does that mean he actually likes us?

Seungcheol: HES IN LOVE WITH ALL OF YOU IDIOTS

JinJin: but then why didnt he say anything?

Namjoon: do you honestly think its that easy to confess to five people that you love them?

JB: and besides why havent you five said anything either?
JinJin: we didnt want to scare him off...

JB: oh for fucks sake

Taeyong: one HUGE misunderstanding

JinJin: we have to talk to him

Namjoon: nope come back here

Namjoon: right now he's in kookie's studio probably crying his heart out

Namjoon: he doesn't know about us meddling and he sure as hell doesn't know anything about
your feelings

Namjoon: So what you will do is that you will gather your members up

Namjoon: explain to them the situation

Namjoon: calm the fuck down

Namjoon: and then wait patiently for eunwoo to come back

Namjoon: understood?

JinJin: yes hyungs

JB: and then you can have hkps

JinJin: ...

JB: honestly no clue i just heard bam and yug use it a lot

Seungcheol: hey wait gyu seok and ming use that too

Taeyong: wonder what it means

Namjoon: ...

JinJin: we're gonna have a long night

Taeyong: it's gonna be worth it

NCT Groupchat

Taeyong: [image]

Taeyong: [image]

Taeyong: [image]

Jaehyun: i knew it.

~

Private Chat: Jaehyun and Minghao

Jaehyun: is dongmin on his phone?

Minghao: his phone's dead so no

Jaehyun: perfect

Jaehyun: also when are you guys leaving?

Minghao: in a few

Jaehyun: great

97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: [image]

Greekgod: [image]

Greekgod: [image]

Megaphone: FUCKING KNEW IT

Thaibaby: SEE THAT MAKES SENSE

EiffelPuppy: wow that level of miscommunication almost beats ours

Greekgod: be real nothing beats ours

EiffelPuppy: true

Thaibaby: hes gonna have a looooong night

Megaphone: he better

KookieMonster: the anticipation is killing goddamit

HitTheYug: ME TOO

Megaphone: i'm not sleeping for this

Greekgod: shh and be patient

Greekgod: i have a good feeling this time

EarlyBird: thank you.

Thaibaby: DETAILSSSSSSSS

Thaibaby: DONT EXPECT US TO LET YOU OFF THE HOOK LIKE THAT

EiffelPuppy: we take it the plan worked?

EarlyBird: well

EarlyBird: there was a lot of crying

EarlyBird: and misunderstandings

EarlyBird: and arguments

EarlyBird: but guess who has five boyfriends now?

HitTheYug: IT WORKED

HitTheYug: WE'RE GENIUSES

EarlyBird: seriously tho

EarlyBird: thank you for helping me

EarlyBird: I don't think I'd be where I am right now without you guys

EarlyBird: and leader hyungs

Greekgod: it was our pleasure

Megaphone: it was fun too!!

Lostboy: fuck all of that

Lostboy: HOW WAS THE HKPS

EarlyBird: there was no hkps

KookieMonster: WHAT

Lostboy: WHAT

HitTheYug: WHAT

Greekgod: WHAT

EiffelPuppy: WHAT

Megaphone: WHAT

Thaibaby: WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO HKPS

EarlyBird: well...
EarlyBird: if there's anything I learned from being friends with you guys...

EarlyBird: it's that I should always keep them on their toes ;)

Thaibaby: EUNWOO YOU SLY BASTARD

KookieMonster: we have taught you well my child

Lostboy: honestly a round of applause

Lostboy: this is way too impressive

Greekgod: consider us impressed newbie

EarlyBird: thanks chief

EiffelPuppy: lmao you're gonna get fucking railed

EarlyBird: don't I know it

EarlyBird: also um

EarlyBird: love you guys

HitTheYug: LOVE YOU TOO BABY

EarlyBird: :)

Greekgod: so now you have five people dating you but aren't dating each other?

EarlyBird: essentially yes

KookieMonster: essentially?

EarlyBird: I think there are some unexplored feelings in there

Greekgod: should we work on it?

EarlyBird: later

Leaders Groupchat

JinJin: thanks hyungs

Taeyong: anytime

JB: honestly you're lucky

JB: did we have 4 hyungs to guide us through our relationship misery

JB: NO

Namjoon: Thank god those days are over

 Seungcheol: yeah no kidding

JinJin: sounds rough?

Taeyong: You have no fucking idea.

Chapter End Notes

AND THE HAPPY ENDING IS FINALLY HERE

Bet that didn't go the way y'all expected it to huh

Also please don't kill me for not including hkps. Astro's gotta take baby steps here

Anyways I hope you enjoyed this wild ride!

(Also any mamamoo stans? If so: HOW WE DOIN)

 Of Bullies and Charges
Chapter Summary

AnonymousBTSARMY asked: "Can you please make a jaehyun centric fanfic again??
Where like all of of them are like protective of him or something?

Maybe if he like runs into some of his used to be highschool bullies and he still let's
them get to him and like Jungkook, Mingyu and others get over protective of him!"

Chapter Notes

EarlyBird: Eunwoo
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
KookieMonster: Jungkook
Greekgod: Jaehyun
Lostboy: The8
Megaphone: DK
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

KookieMonster: @Greekgod @EiffelPuppy @EarlyBird

KookieMonster: are we still on for today?

EiffelPuppy: yup

Greekgod: definitely

EarlyBird: yes!!

Megaphone: y'all going to our usual bowling arena?

KookieMonster: under maintenance so we're going to the other one

HitTheYug: have fun!!

Lostboy: no you have fun in your intensive dance practice!

Thaibaby: bitch im already dreading it

HitTheYug: yeah guess whos most probably not gonna be able to move for the next 3 days?
Greekgod: yikes

Thaibaby: and unfortunately its not because someone gave us a good fuck

EarlyBird: mega yikes

Megaphone: speaking of which

Megaphone: how's your sex life @EarlyBird?

EarlyBird: still no hkps

Thaibaby: BOO

Lostboy: BOO

EiffelPuppy: BOO

EarlyBird: YEAH I GET IT

EarlyBird: BUT THINGS ARE MOVING ALONG SO SHUT UP

Greekgod: I'm impressed

Greekgod: you've improved newbie

EarlyBird: tf

Greekgod: that's the first time we mention your sex life and you don't recoil in embarrassment

EarlyBird: yeah well after that super embarrassing display you made me do at the after party

EarlyBird: nothing can phase me now

EiffelPuppy: oh trust us there's worse to come

EarlyBird: please don't embarrass me in the bowling alley today

KookieMonster: no promises ;)

Megaphone: so who's winning

Thaibaby: yeah how come you guys havent sent a picture of the scores yet

HitTheYug: tf

Lostboy: gyu isnt even answering his phone

Megaphone: yeah uh what the fuck

~
EarlyBird: gyu's fine guys

EarlyBird: we're fine

HitTheYug: yeah no something definitely happened

Lostboy: explain???

EarlyBird: i'll explain once we get to kook's studio

Thaibaby: TF

Thaibaby: EUNWOO GET BACK HERE

EarlyBird: i'm here

Megaphone: EXPLAIN

Megaphone: YOU HAD US WORRIED SICK

EarlyBird: we ran into jae's old bullies

Thaibaby: oh fuck no

HitTheYug: shit is he okay??

EarlyBird: mostly?

EarlyBird: jae excused himself to toilet so they crowded him at the door

EarlyBird: I'm guessing they started taunting him at first

EarlyBird: he didn't want to respond but then things started getting bad

Megaphone: we went to the same school

Megaphone: they were absolutely horrible to him

Megaphone: and he used to try his best not to show that it affected him but it hurt him so bad

EarlyBird: by the time we got to him one of them managed to land a kick

EarlyBird: he didn't want to fight back or shit might blow up to the public

EarlyBird: that's when gyu and kook stepped in

Lostboy: listen these three pissed and standing next to each other are what my nightmares and wer
dreams are made of

Thaibaby: TF MING

Lostboy: oh dont act like you dont agree

Thaibaby: ...

Thaibaby: you got me there.

HitTheYug: me too.

Megaphone: me three

Megaphone: anyways

Megaphone: did a fight break out??

EarlyBird: no

EarlyBird: and that's because I almost died just trying to separate the two groups from each other

EarlyBird: eventually the bullies backed off and everything died down

EarlyBird: but jae started shaking and was clearly not okay so we decided to go to kook's studio so
he can calm down in peace

Megaphone: knowing him and seeing firsthand what he went through

Megaphone: he must be going through everything again

EarlyBird: I didn't know how bad it is until I saw him tuck himself in between gyu and kook

EarlyBird: [image]

Thaibaby: gotta admit that's adorable

HitTheYug: how long are you guys staying?

EarlyBird: no clue

EarlyBird: probably a while

EarlyBird: why?

HitTheYug: cuz bam and I are picking up seok and ming and we're on our way

Lostboy: this needs a code 97: 97-Liners speciality cuddle fest

Greekgod: hey

Lostboy: JAE

Lostboy: feeling better?

Greekgod: yeah

Greekgod: sat down with my members a bit after you guys dropped me off
Greekgod: i shouldn't have let this affect me as much as it did

Greekgod: it was such a long time ago I feel stupid

HitTheYug: hey no bullying is no joke

KookieMonster: yeah it isnt

Megaphone: jae they did terrible things to you back then

Megaphone: you have every right to react the way you did

Greekgod: I think I'm over it now tho

Greekgod: like seeing their scared faces especially when kookie and mingyu showed up

EiffelPuppy: we'd do anything to protect you babe

KookieMonster: Id rather die than let them touch you again

Greekgod: and @EarlyBird thanks for being the rational one since I was too weak to be

EarlyBird: you don't have to be the rational one all the time jae you know?

Thaibaby: we know youre the "chief" of the group but sometimes its good to be emotional

Megaphone: and jae?

Megaphone: I'm proud of you

Greekgod: yeah?

Megaphone: yeah.

HitTheYug: seriously tho you can give us the braincell sometimes

Greekgod: never.

EarlyBird: too late

Greekgod: dammit

KookieMonster: are you still insisting on not pressing charges?

KookieMonster: everythings caught on camera sweetheart

KookieMonster: they basically assaulted you and you didnt do anything back

EiffelPuppy: and kook eunwoo and I can be witnesses

Greekgod: yeah I am

Greekgod: I'm over it

 Greekgod: or atleast I want to be and I don't think pressing charges is gonna do anything further

EiffelPuppy: alright whatever you want

Thaibaby: next time @EarlyBird

Thaibaby: when kook gyu and jae are in "hot angry murderous" mode

Thaibaby: YOU TAKE PICTURES

EarlyBird: YOU HAVE 6 BOYFRIENDS

HitTheYug: YEAH SO?

EarlyBird: WHAT DO YOU MEAN SO

Lostboy: ITS NOT LIKE WE'RE GONNA FUCK THEM

KookieMonster: i dont even know what i look like in that mode

EiffelPuppy: me neither??

Greekgod: yeah seriously

Megaphone: this doesn't concern you three rn

Megaphone: this concerns THE DUMBFUCK EUNWOO

EarlyBird: FUCKS SAKE

EarlyBird: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE

Chapter End Notes

Hope you like it!!

Serious note: I don't know when this book became a book of life lessons but apparently
it did.
So,
Bullying is bad.
If you are being bullied please stay strong and take the highroad ❤
If you are the one bullying then go fuck yourself.

Less serious note: guess who got fucked in the ass with their project?? :)))))))
 Of Accidents and Friendship
Chapter Summary

Based on popular request: a jungkook-centric yugkook friendship chapter :)

Chapter Notes

Greekgod: Jaehyun
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Megaphone: DK
Lostboy: The8
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
KookieMonster: Jungkook
EarlyBird: Eunwoo

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

Megaphone: CHA EUNWOO

Megaphone: @EarlyBird

EarlyBird: WHAT I DO

Thaibaby: WHAT HE DO

Megaphone: DROP YOUR SKINCARE ROUTINE

HitTheYug: DO IT

Lostboy: FUCKING DO IT

Greekgod: YEAH DO IT

EarlyBird: WHAT ARE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT

EarlyBird: YOU HAVE NICE SKIN TOO

EarlyBird: also I came into this group to have fun and all I get is being yelled at all the time

EarlyBird: what the fuck guys

EiffelPuppy: poor thing

EiffelPuppy: now is one of you gonna drop his skincare routine or are we gonna have to force it
out of you?

Thaibaby: mans right

Lostboy: oh and cum doesn't work

Lostboy: trust me we've tried

EarlyBird: what the fuck

HitTheYug: what?

EarlyBird: that's so nasty what is wrong with you

Thaibaby: clearly youve never had a creampie or a facial before

Greekgod: oh my poor innocent baby bird

HitTheYug: nah trust me even baby birds are less innocent than that ;)

Thaibaby: budum-tiss!

EarlyBird: well I'd love to experience one but not as a skin care routine???

EarlyBird: "oh hey jizz on my face real quick so my pimple could go way"

EarlyBird: the fuck

Megaphone: where's newbie's defence squad?

Megaphone: @KookieMonster

EarlyBird: FUCK'S SAKE

EarlyBird: i've literally been here for three months and y'all still me newbie

Greekgod: yeah well we've been here for 3 years

Lostboy: and more!

Greekgod: and more

Greekgod: your point?

EarlyBird: I-

EarlyBird: never mind

EarlyBird: also kook isn't my defence squad he's the worst one!

HitTheYug: we know

HitTheYug: we just want him here lmao

Greekgod: he's probably asleep leave him be

EiffelPuppy: yeah he and his hyungs must be tired these days

Thaibaby: no kidding

Megaphone: what else would he be doing?

KookieMonster: guys

KookieMonster: is anyone awake?

KookieMonster: im sorry to bother

EiffelPuppy: kookie?

EiffelPuppy: what happened??

KookieMonster: i need help

KookieMonster: i dont know what to do fuck

Greekgod: kook? Where are you?

KookieMonster: on my way to the hospital and ive tried calling my hyungs but theyre all asleep
and tired and i dont wanna bother them

KookieMonster: and i dont know what to do??

HitTheYug: are you hurt?? Is it bad??

HitTheYug: please tell me youre okay

EarlyBird: go back to the beginning and tell us what happened

KookieMonster: i got into a car accident with a taxi driver

HitTheYug: WHAT

KookieMonster: i called the police on myself lol

HitTheYug: lol?

KookieMonster: sorry

KookieMonster: now we're heading to the hospital

HitTheYug: im coming right now.

Thaibaby: wait no babe

Thaibaby: yug his hyungs have to be there first

KookieMonster: im not hurt that bad i swear

HitTheYug: i dont care

HitTheYug: my best friend just got into a car accident and he fucking needs us

HitTheYug: im coming there and its up to you now

HitTheYug: you want to come with or not?

Megaphone: calm the fuck down and let's think

Greekgod: first of all his hyungs aren't answering so I say one of us goes and tries to wake them up

Lostboy: mingyu and i will do it

EiffelPuppy: yeah

Greekgod: okay

Greekgod: kook you try to stay calm until someone reaches you okay?

Greekgod: and I'm guessing the first would be yug

Thaibaby: im coming with

KookieMonster: i didnt want to involve you guys

EarlyBird: kindly shut up

KookieMonster: okay newbie damn we've been rubbing off on you

Megaphone: yeah no shit

EiffelPuppy: we got this kook don't worry okay?

KookieMonster: okay

Thaibaby: [image]

Thaibaby: hes okay!!

Thaibaby: altho yug wont leave his side

HitTheYug: leave me be

EiffelPuppy: and for those who dont know hyungs are on their way

EarlyBird: oh thank god

Megaphone: thank fuck

Megaphone: i was so nervous

Greekgod: okay yeah good

Greekgod: so mission successful

Greekgod: @HitTheYug @Thaibaby once they get there leave them yeah?

EarlyBird: they deserve some time alone with each other okay?

HitTheYug: but

Lostboy: yug no

Lostboy: youll see him another time once everything calmed down

Lostboy: gyu's driving but he agrees

Thaibaby: we'll be off when they come

Thaibaby: hes not too happy about that but ive got it

Lostboy: gyu says theyll need like 20 minutes max

Thaibaby: thanks ming

KookieMonster: guys

HitTheYug: kookie!!

EarlyBird: update us!!

KookieMonster: im okay now

KookieMonster: management is dealing with the issue now

KookieMonster: and im gonna pay a fine

KookieMonster: i dont know what else is gonna happen

KookieMonster: also thank you guys for the recovery gifts!!

EiffelPuppy: listen we gotta admit

EiffelPuppy: we got those muffins from the cat café and the ahjumma was not happy at all when
she found out about you

KookieMonster: you told her?!

Megaphone: its not like she won't force it out of you!

KookieMonster: true

Lostboy: yeah so be ready for an earful the next time we go

EarlyBird: to the cat café that you guys still haven't taken me to

Greekgod: omg

Greekgod: we seriously should shit

EarlyBird: you know from what I've heard the ahjumma won't be happy to know you guys haven't
been taking me

Thaibaby: FUCK

Thaibaby: EUNWOO WE BEG

Megaphone: DONGMIN DON'T

Lostboy: PLEASE

KookieMonster: please dont

KookieMonster: also thank you for the perfumes!!

EarlyBird: anytime!!

EarlyBird: they're from my members too

EarlyBird: they say get well soon!!

HitTheYug: so when can we visit?

KookieMonster: soon i guess

KookieMonster: once my hyungs let me go

Thaibaby: yeah seriously yug is one step away from busting the door down and going after you

KookieMonster: its okay

KookieMonster: and thanks for being their for me yug

KookieMonster: it meant alot

HitTheYug: kook

HitTheYug: when you told us what happened i felt my heart drop

HitTheYug: youre one of the first people that i became friends with in this industry that wasnt my
hyungs

HitTheYug: i cant lose you

HitTheYug: please dont do that ever again

KookieMonster: im sorry yug

KookieMonster: ill be more careful from now on

HitTheYug: good

EiffelPuppy: fuck im gonna cry

Lostboy: fuck that i am crying

Thaibaby: im bawling fuck you

EarlyBird: that's really sweet :(

Greekgod: you saps

Megaphone: what did we do to deserve this

Greekgod: seriously tho yugs right

Greekgod: we all care about you

KookieMonster: i know

KookieMonster: me too

KookieMonster: ill be out soon

KookieMonster: then we can take eunwoo to meet the ahjumma!!

EarlyBird: fuck yes

EiffelPuppy: now that the sap festival is over

Megaphone: JEON JUNGKOOK

Megaphone: WHAT WERE YOU THINKING

KookieMonster: PLEASE DONT SCOLD ME MY HYUNGS ALREADY DID

Greekgod: YOU ARE NOT GETTING AWAY THIS EASILY YOUNG MAN

KookieMonster: YUG HELP

HitTheYug: nope you deserve this

Lostboy: JEON JUNGKOOK

Thaibaby: rip in peace jeon jungkook 1997-2019.

KookieMonster: hi guys

KookieMonster: its jimin

HitTheYug: hi hyung!!
 EarlyBird: hi :)

EiffelPuppy: hey hyung!!

KookieMonster: the rest and I just wanted to thank you guys again for helping kookie

Megaphone: of course

Greekgod: anything for kookie

Lostboy: Of course!!

KookieMonster: :)

Chapter End Notes

I'M BACK

SEMESTER'S OVER FINALLY

As you may or may not know, I was swamped with projects and deadlines and finals
which is why I couldn't update so I apologize

Hope you like this chapter!!

 Of Aliens and Drunkness
Chapter Summary

Dawnbreak55 said: "BRO. THE G A L A X Y. I want an alien discussion pleasee"

DoomAmber said: "Second, take this as you will because I more just need to get this
idea out of my head before it eats me alive, but Bang Chan joining the 97 liner chat"
(this is our compromise ;) )

Chapter Notes

KookieMonster: Jungkook
Greekgod: Jaehyun
Lostboy: The8
Megaphone: DK
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
EarlyBird: Eunwoo
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

Thaibaby: FUCKS SAKE

Thaibaby: CAN ALL OF YOU GET IN HERE

HitTheYug: bam i swear to god

Thaibaby: NO

Greekgod: woah woah the fuck's wrong with you guys??

KookieMonster: uh whats going on

Megaphone: yeah what the fuck it's 1 AM

Lostboy: yeah we're trying to sleep here

HitTheYug: oh shut up we all know youre busy fucking joshua hyung or something

EiffelPuppy: listen

Megaphone: you got us there.

Megaphone: anyways what's the deal here

Thaibaby: SOMEONE TELL THIS DUMBFUCK THAT ALIENS FUCKING EXIST

Greekgod: that's what you're arguing about????

HitTheYug: jfc what makes you so sure that they do

Thaibaby: well shithead

Thaibaby: you expect me to believe that in this whole ass universe we're the only ones that exist?

Lostboy: hey listen bams got a point there

Thaibaby: THANK YOU

HitTheYug: listen until now there hasnt been any substantial proof

HitTheYug: the talking zebra doesnt count bam

KookieMonster: LMAOOOO

EiffelPuppy: hey wait a minute

EiffelPuppy: aren't you guys having a minu party with stray kids or something rn?

KookieMonster: are you guys drunk???

HitTheYug: PFT NO

Thaibaby: WHAT MAKES YOU SAY THAT

Greekgod: the all caps is giving me a headache

Thaibaby: JAEEEEE SAY YOU AGREE WITH ME

HitTheYug: no jae agrees with me because

HitTheYug: YOU HAVE NO PROOF THEYRE REAL

Megaphone: uh huh

Megaphone: what do you think jae

Greekgod: uh

Greekgod: i mean

Greekgod: Nothing was ever anywhere. Thats why its been everywhere. Its been so everywhere
you dont need a where. You dont even need a when. Thats how every it gets

Lostboy: ....

KookieMonster: ...
EiffelPuppy: ...

Megaphone: ....

HitTheYug: ...

Thaibaby: ...

Thaibaby: EUNWOOOOOOO

Thaibaby: @EarlyBird HELP

EarlyBird: it's 1 fucking AM

EarlyBird: i'm trying to sleep

EarlyBird: and my phone won't stop buzzing bc of you guys

EarlyBird: WHAT DO YOU WANT

HitTheYug: oh please newbie we all know youre busy making out with moonbin or something

EarlyBird: does drunk yugyeom just calls out everyone and is creepily spot on with his
accusations?

Lostboy: yeah basically

EarlyBird: creepy

Thaibaby: EUNWOO

Thaibaby: DO ALIENS EXIST OR NOT

EarlyBird: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW

Thaibaby: YOUR GROUPS NAME IS ASTRO

Megaphone: you lost me there

Greekgod: yeah me too

Lostboy: jae you made everyone lost

EarlyBird: I-

EarlyBird: so that makes me the expert on all things space???

HitTheYug: YES

Thaibaby: YES

KookieMonster: got7 really do share one braincell

EiffelPuppy: no kidding
Thaibaby: okay thats enough for them tonight

Thaibaby: hi sunbaenims its chan from stray kids

Thaibaby: bam and yug had a bit too much to drink tonight so theyre all over the place

EiffelPuppy: nothing we're not used to

Greekgod: also chan we agreed for you to stop calling us sunbaenims when we went to the cat
café??

Thaibaby: right sorry

Lostboy: hiii chan

EarlyBird: hi chan :)

Thaibaby: eunwoo sunbaenim!!

Thaibaby: i didnt know you were here!!

Greekgod: QUIT WITH THE SUNBAENIM

KookieMonster: QUIT WITH THE SUNBAENIM

KookieMonster: eyy jinx

Lostboy: these two still freak me out sometimes

EiffelPuppy: yeah well same

EarlyBird: it's a recent development

EarlyBird: ALSO WHAT THE FUCK CHAN'S BEEN TO THE CAT CAFÉ AND I HAVEN'T??

Thaibaby: YOU HAVENT??

Thaibaby: guys what the fuck

Thaibaby: CAN WE GO THERE AGAIN WITH TXT AND THE DREAMIES PLEASE

Megaphone: we make him drop the honorfics and he turns into a little shit

KookieMonster: fits right in with the group dont you think

EiffelPuppy: funny

Thaibaby: ill have to pass

Thaibaby: im a leader now

Lostboy: OH FUCK

Lostboy: yeah no he cant be here and the leaders groupchat

Lostboy: it doesnt work that way

EiffelPuppy: sorry chan

Thaibaby: to be honest i dont think i can handle the craziness here

Thaibaby: bam and yug are screaming their lungs out in a failed karaoke attempt and i can barely
handle that

Thaibaby: [video]

EiffelPuppy: LMAOOOO

EiffelPuppy: AMAZING BLACKMAIL MATERIAL

KookieMonster: THANKS CHAN

Thaibaby: anytime

Thaibaby: i have a lot of shit on them

Lostboy: BITCH SEND

Thaibaby: expect a spam later on ;)

EiffelPuppy: I LOVE YOU

Greekgod: mingyu here is responsible for all blackmail material

Thaibaby: also question

Thaibaby: whats HKPS?

EarlyBird: why are you asking?

Thaibaby: bam and yug keep chugging alcohol and chanting it??

Thaibaby: [video]

KookieMonster: classified information for members of this group only

Greekgod: can't have crucial codes to be leaked out sorry

Thaibaby: i see

Lostboy: say chan

Lostboy: hows your relationship with your group?

Thaibaby: I

Thaibaby: well

Thaibaby: good?
Greekgod: leave the boy alone

Lostboy: im just worried because of the amount or promotions they have!

Thaibaby: you guys matchmakers or something?

Megaphone: you can say so

Megaphone: i do believe we're experts

EarlyBird: hey they got me with my members so

Thaibaby: interesting

Thaibaby: i might have to take you up on that someday

Thaibaby: not today tho

Thaibaby: imma help got7 hyungs take yug bam and jackson hyung to bed

Thaibaby: night everyone

Lostboy: night!!

Greekgod: goodnight

Megaphone: night chan

EarlyBird: goodnightt

KookieMonster: night!!

Leaders Groupchat

JB: did anyone figure out what hkps means?

Taeyong: no??

Namjoon: why at 1 AM

JinJin: ??

Seungcheol: ^?

JB: [video]

Seungcheol: ah

JinJin: k for korea...?

Taeyong: why would k be for korea jinjin

JinJin: i dont know okay

JinJin: anyone else got any better ideas?

Taeyong: no.

Namjoon: no

Seungcheol: no

JB: Namjoon you have the highest IQ here why didn't you figure it out??

Namjoon: there are ten billion combinations and you expect me to get it immediately??

JB: fuck it

JB: Well goodnight

Seungcheol: night

JinJin: night hyungs

Namjoon: good night

Taeyong: goodnight

Private Chat: Mingyu and Chan

Chan: [image]

Chan: [image]

Chan: [video]

Chan: [image]

Chan: [video]

Chan: [video]

Chan: [video]

Mingyu: MY HERO

Chan: :D

97-Liners Groupchat

EiffelPuppy: CHAN CAME THROUGH

Lostboy: EYYY

KookieMonster: YES
 Greekgod: amazing

EarlyBird: wait till they find out

Megaphone: LMAOO

Chapter End Notes

Just a short cracky chapter to break up the angst and feels that have been dominating
this book

Merry Christmas everyone! Consider this a present from me :)

(Also if anyone knows where jae took that quote from I love you)
 Of Hospitals and Bottles
Chapter Summary

Luna asked: "Can i request for a yugyeom-centric author-nim? one where he is

hurt or sick that he faints?"

Tayo9710 asked: "Do you still take requests? When yes I would love a yugyeom
centric chapter "

"Can I request for a yugyeom centric one? Maybe where Yugyeom got sick or fainted
while practicing on his own and everyone was worried because no one can contact
him or locate him and the maknaes (or at least few of them) managed to find him and
help him? I don't know my thoughts are all over the place huhuhu thank you"
I have this one in my list of requests but I can't seem to find who requested it. Sorry ❤

Chapter Notes

Greekgod: Jaehyun
Lostboy: The8
Megaphone: DK
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
EarlyBird: Eunwoo
KookieMonster: Jungkook
Thaibaby: Bambam

Requests are CLOSED. (Check why below.)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

GOT7 Groupchat

Youngjae: anyone seen yugy??

Mark: nope

Jinyoung: last I know he went to the studio to practice some moves

Jackson: again?

JB: what do you mean again?

Jackson: hes been practicing nonstop these past few days

Jackson: i dont know whats wrong with him

JB: what??

JB: i dont want himto overwork himself again

Mark: ill go get him

Bambam: ill do it

Bambam: we're supposed to hang out with minghao and jaehyun today

Bambam: they said theyll meet us at the dance studio and we all go together

Youngjae: thanks bam

97-Liners Groupchat

Thaibaby: @Lostboy @Greekgod

Thaibaby: so whats the deal

Greekgod: i'll be picking up ming in a few

KookieMonster: wheres your car @Thaibaby @HitTheYug

Thaibaby: uh

Thaibaby: maintenance

Megaphone: maintenance huh

Greekgod: deep cleansing

Greekgod: they fucked in the back and the stain wouldn't get removed

Thaibaby: STOP CALLING US OUT LIKE THIS

EarlyBird: nasty fuckers

EiffelPuppy: that's more like it

Lostboy: wait im not ready!!

Greekgod: maybe if you got off of wonwoo's dick you'd be ready by now

EiffelPuppy: LMAOOO

KookieMonster: AMAZING

Greekgod: you've got 20 mins

Lostboy: yes sir.

Megaphone: time to see how fast he can make wonwoo cum!!

EiffelPuppy: i gotta watch this

EarlyBird: update us!!

KookieMonster: NEWBIE WHAT

EarlyBird: what?

KookieMonster: i am impressed

Megaphone: holy shit

Greekgod: where's yugyeom by the way

Thaibaby: still practicing

Greekgod: clock's ticking @Lostboy

Lostboy: IM ON IT SHEESH

EiffelPuppy: 8 MINUTES 27 SECONDS

KookieMonster: DAMN

EarlyBird: GOOD ONE

Thaibaby: wonwoo's got style

KookieMonster: indeed

Lostboy: ight i gotta rush

Greekgod: @Thaibaby we're going up

Thaibaby: cool i need ten minutes

Thaibaby: fourth floor third door on the right yeah?

Lostboy: yeah yeah we know

Lostboy: @Thaibaby HURRY

Thaibaby: im fucking coming chill

Lostboy: YUG PASSED OUT

Thaibaby: WHAT

KookieMonster: WHAT
Lostboy: WHAT DO WE DO

EiffelPuppy: fuck fuck okay first calm down

Lostboy: jaes trying to wake him up but hes not responding i dont know what the fuck to do

EarlyBird: @Thaibaby don't you have a company doctor??

Thaibaby: yes yes fuck i'll go see her8

Thaibaby: SHES NOT THERE

Megaphone: CALL YOUR HYUNGS

Megaphone: @Lostboy @Greekgod CALL AN AMBULANCE

Greekgod: right fuck

Greekgod: okay their hyungs are here and the ambulance is on its way

KookieMonster: i want to know what hospital theyre going to right fucking now

Lostboy: his members are going with him they wont let us visit

KookieMonster: so he gets to visit me when im in the hospital and i dont get to see him??

EiffelPuppy: kooks we all want to

EarlyBird: the moment they give us the clear we'll go together okay?

KookieMonster: fine

Thaibaby: hes okay

Thaibaby: it was exhaustion

Thaibaby: he pushed his body too far and ended up exhausted and dehydrated

Megaphone: holy fuck

Megaphone: thank god hes okay

Thaibaby: @Lostboy @Greekgod thank you guys for helping

Greekgod: of course??

Greekgod: don't be stupid

Lostboy: i literally felt my heart drop when i first saw him

EarlyBird: is he going home now?

Thaibaby: no we're keeping him over night for observations

EiffelPuppy: okay yeah good

EiffelPuppy: that's good

KookieMonster: when can we come visit?

Thaibaby: ill tell you guys when he wakes up

Greekgod: okay thanks

Greekgod: get some rest bam

Thaibaby: will do

Thaibaby: hes awake!!

KookieMonster: tell him to stay put we'll be there in 10 minutes tops

EiffelPuppy: jeon jungkook we do not want another car accident young man

KookieMonster: ...

KookieMonster: fine dad

KookieMonster: 20 minutes

KookieMonster: im picking all of you up so get ready

HitTheYug: thanks guys for visiting

HitTheYug: love you all

EarlyBird: we love you too

HitTheYug: and thanks for gifts!!

HitTheYug: but what am I supposed to do with ten reusable water bottles

KookieMonster: its to remember to drink water YOU DEHYDRATED DIPSHIT

HitTheYug: IM SORRY

KookieMonster: THE ENTIRE WORLD KNOWS I PUSHED MY BODY TOO FAR AND
ENDED UP PASSING OUT SO YOU GO DO MY MISTAKE?!?!

HitTheYug: PLEASE DONT SCOLD ME MY MEMBERS DID

KookieMonster: oh no you dont

KookieMonster: i got scolded about my car accident

KookieMonster: YOURE GETTING SCOLDED TOO

EiffelPuppy: damn kook is more worked up than we thought

KookieMonster: do we really have to go through the "hes one of the very first friends i made in
this industry that wasnt my hyungs and i love him very much and he scared me to death" scenario
all over again?

Greekgod: nope we're good

Lostboy: fuck that im crying again

EarlyBird: so am i

KookieMonster: oh and a little birdie happened to tell us this isnt your first time

HitTheYug: bam why

Thaibaby: because im tired of seeing you push yourself past your limits babe

Thaibaby: youre always so harsh on yourself when it comes to dancing when youre fucking
perfect

Thaibaby: and the hyungs would agree

Megaphone: listen if i can dance half as well as you can id call it an achievement

EarlyBird: bambam's right yug

EarlyBird: you need to stop being so hard on yourself

HitTheYug: im sorry

HitTheYug: the overwhelming need for every single step to be perfect is too much to ignore
sometimes

HitTheYug: and i cant stop it

Thaibaby: then hyungs and i will help you

Thaibaby: just talk to us and tell us

Thaibaby: we're here to always keep you on track

Thaibaby: please stop scaring us like this

HitTheYug: youre right

HitTheYug: im sorry

HitTheYug: i promise ill ask

Thaibaby: okay good

 KookieMonster: fuck you now im crying

Megaphone: i'm bawling

Greekgod: fuck all of you me too

EiffelPuppy: who isn't

HitTheYug: love you guysss

HitTheYug: but seriously

HitTheYug: ten

EarlyBird: stay hydrated bitch

HitTheYug: i do not appreciate that tone newbie

EarlyBird: yeah well deal with it

EarlyBird: i'm older anyways

HitTheYug: WE'RE THE SAME AGE

EiffelPuppy: you're still the baby of the group yug

HitTheYug: I

KookieMonster: now come back so i can scold you more

HitTheYug: kookie noooo

KookieMonster: KIM YUGYEOM

Lostboy: rip in peace Kim Yugyeom 1997-2019.

Chapter End Notes

What's this? Another update this week?

Anyways, a yugyeom-centric chapter has long been requested and it's finally here.

I want to say that I see all of your requests. I might forget but I always try to go back
and see what I missed. I'm sorry if it seems like I'm ignoring you. Thank you for being
patient with me and somehow still following this fic despite the lack of consistancy

Anways, for that I'm closing requests for now. I have a whole list that I need to get
through and I really don't want to end up forgetting anything. Once I'm done I'll reopen
them.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter :)

 Of Bears and Beastiality
Chapter Summary

Dee requested: "this one came to me when I was re-reading the drama few chapters
ago. We got to see and know possessive NCT, now I want to see a possessive Jae. Like
something happened to one of his bfs and he gets super angry, so the 97liners first
calm him down and then help him with whatever that caused the possessiveness"

"Can you write a chapter where one of their boyfriends is hurt?" (The one who
requested this please step up :) )

Chapter Notes

Greekgod: Jaehyun
KookieMonster: Jungkook
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Megaphone: DK
Lostboy: The8
EarlyBird: Eunwoo

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

HitTheYug: CHA EUNWOO @EarlyBird

EarlyBird: WHAT I DO

Greekgod: what now

HitTheYug: in fact all of you get ready

Megaphone: ??????

Lostboy: i'm lost

KookieMonster: as usual

Lostboy: shut it energizer bunny

KookieMonster: kay shortie

Lostboy: I'M GONNA MURDER

HitTheYug: all of you shut the fuck up

HitTheYug: WE'RE TAKING EUNWOO TO THE CAT CAFÉ BITCHES

EarlyBird: OMG REALLY???

HitTheYug: HELL YEAH

EarlyBird: you better not take it back or i'll murder you all

Greekgod: i'm in

EiffelPuppy: IN

KookieMonster: so you guys waited until I was in fucking japan to finally take eunwoo to the cat
café huh

KookieMonster: ahjumma wont be happy once she finds outtttt

EiffelPuppy: you shut up or we'll all be in trouble with her

KookieMonster: wheres bam

Thaibaby: in fucking thailand

Thaibaby: the betrayal

EarlyBird: so no cat café? :(

Thaibaby: oh no newbie is sad

Thaibaby: dont betray him like this

KookieMonster: fucking take him but bam and i wont forget this

Thaibaby: damn fucking right

HitTheYug: yeah whatever you two

Megaphone: we'll make sure to say hi for you to ahjumma

Megaphone: now shut up

HitTheYug: guys im already leaving the dorm so hurry the fuck up

Thaibaby: send pics you assholes

HitTheYug: @Thaibaby @KookieMonster

HitTheYug: YOU GUYS WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED

EiffelPuppy: IT WASN'T MY FUCKING FAULT GODDAMIT

Megaphone: my boyfriend is a pervert.

Lostboy: my boyfriend is a pervert.

EiffelPuppy: IT WAS YOUR FAULTS

KookieMonster: LMAOO WHAT HAPPENED

Thaibaby: SPILL

Greekgod: [video]

KookieMonster: that is fucking nasty

Thaibaby: did you seriously grow a boner with a kitten on your dick

EiffelPuppy: MING AND SEOK WERE MAKING OUT IN FRONT OF ME

EiffelPuppy: WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO

Thaibaby: absolutely fucking disgusting

EiffelPuppy: IT WAS JUST INCONVENIENTLY TIMED

EarlyBird: you're lucky ahjumma didn't see this

KookieMonster: oooo how is she

EarlyBird: great!!

EarlyBird: says hi!

EarlyBird: says everyone's in trouble for not bringing me here and i'm her favorite :D

Megaphone: total manipulation i tell you

Greekgod: newbie came and charmed his way in her heart

Lostboy: meanwhile we all got an earful

EarlyBird: losers

KookieMonster: suddenly im glad im not there

Thaibaby: me too

HitTheYug: oh no you two

HitTheYug: youre getting an even bigger one next time

Thaibaby: goddamit

Private Chat: Jaehyun and Taeyong

Taeyong: jaehyun please answer

Jaehyun: sorry hyung

Jaehyun: had my phone on silent while I'm with the guys

Jaehyun: what's up?

Taeyong: haechan's hurt

Jaehyun: what???

97-Liners Groupchat

Thaibaby: where are the pictures assholes

EarlyBird: we couldn't take some sorry

KookieMonster: did something happen??

EiffelPuppy: jae had to leave early

Thaibaby: is he okay??

Thaibaby: dammit stop giving us snippets and just tell us

Megaphone: taeyong hyung texted jaehyun and told him haechan's hurt

Megaphone: so he went all crazy and worried ready to jump out the window before we calmed
him down and convinced him to let us take him to the hospital

HitTheYug: deadass papa bear mode

KookieMonster: seriously??

KookieMonster: is haechan hurt really badly?

EiffelPuppy: no clue yet

EiffelPuppy: waiting on jae to update us

Lostboy: we all know jae has a soft spot for haechan since they're roommates

Lostboy: hopefully it's nothing bad

Greekgod: he's unconscious but fine

Megaphone: what happened??

Greekgod: he has a mild concussion and a sprained wrist

Greekgod: some asshole bumped into him because he wasn't looking where he was fucking going
which caused haechan to bump his fucking head into the wall behind him and land on his fucking
wrist

Thaibaby: im sensing some anger there

Thaibaby: just me?

HitTheYug: what i tell ya

Greekgod: i'm gonna find that fucker make him regret ever touching haechan.

EarlyBird: woah there papa bear

EiffelPuppy: you ain't doing shit

Greekgod: what the fuck do you mean "ain't doing shit"

Greekgod: he needs to fucking pay

Greekgod: why is no one fucking helping me commit murder

KookieMonster: i cant believe im saying this but tone the fuck down on the 'fucking'

Lostboy: hypocracy much?

KookieMonster: shut it shortie

Lostboy: Energizer. Bunny.

EiffelPuppy: jae sweetheart

EiffelPuppy: how do you know that the person purposely pushed haechan onto the wall?

EiffelPuppy: or even meant to hurt him?

Megaphone: to sum it up: we know you care about haechan but try to be more logical and less
grizzly bear

Lostboy: papa bear*

Greekgod: ...

Greekgod: but haechan's hurt

HitTheYug: it couldve been an accident

Greekgod: but haechan's hurt

Thaibaby: arent you usually the logical strict general of the group?

Thaibaby: the fuck is wrong with you today

EarlyBird: if he's hurt it's fiiiiiine but if one of his members are hurt he loses all coherent thoughts
Greekgod: what if mj was hurt? Or mark? Or yoongi? Or jun? Huh??

Megaphone: jae babe

Megaphone: we'd be furious but we can't just jump to conclusions like this and just assume the
worst of things

Greekgod: ...

KookieMonster: in other words

KookieMonster: calm the fuck down

Greekgod: fine fine

Thaibaby: i can see you sulking all the way from bangkok

Greekgod: FINE

HitTheYug: now lighten up

HitTheYug: he'll be back in your bed before you know ;)

Greekgod: my baby has a sprained wrist and a mild concussion

Greekgod: i'm not letting him out of my sight

EarlyBird: there we go

Thaibaby: speaking of beds

Thaibaby: @EiffelPuppy i seriously didnt know you were into beastiality

EiffelPuppy: fuck you

EiffelPuppy: fuck you

EiffelPuppy: fuck you

Megaphone: yeah we didn't know either

EiffelPuppy: FUCK YOU

EiffelPuppy: FUCK YOU

EiffelPuppy: FUCK YOU

Lostboy: i mean we're open-minded but maybe not that open-minded...

Megaphone: i wonder what the rest of the group is gonna say

EiffelPuppy: IT WAS A FUCKING MISTAKE

EiffelPuppy: AND IT WAS YOUR FAULTS YOU FUCKING HORNY BASTARDS

 EiffelPuppy: FUCK YOU

Chapter End Notes

Requests are CLOSED.

 Of Groups and Matchmakers
Chapter Summary

"[ ] I was watching a video of Yugyeom and BamBam dancing to girl group music like
Blackpink and it made me think of Jungkookie. Do you think it would be possible to
write about the three of them practicing these dances together and looping in the other
97’s? I think that would just be amazing!"

Chapter Notes

Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Megaphone: DK
Lostboy: The8
EarlyBird: Eunwoo
KookieMonster: Jungkook
Greekgod: Jaehyun

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

Thaibaby: [video]

Thaibaby: yug kook and i finally got down the Fiesta choreo!!

EarlyBird: wow damn congrats you guys!!

HitTheYug: yeah we still havent forgotten the fact that both you and jae are amazing at girl group
dances and we want you in

Greekgod: never in a million years.

KookieMonster: jaeeee

KookieMonster: why nottttt :(((

KookieMonster: haechan does it and is proud of it

Greekgod: you have zero proof.

EarlyBird: could be fun why not

EiffelPuppy: girl group dances are super fun

Megaphone: lmaoo remember when we were practicing one and ming broke the wall

Lostboy: IT WAS YOUR FAULTS

EarlyBird: how does one break a wall....?

Lostboy: NOT THE POINT HERE

Lostboy: MOVING ALONG

HitTheYug: did it involve his nunchucks by any chance

EiffelPuppy: yes

Lostboy: ANYWAYS

Thaibaby: yeah anyways look chan always joins yug and i and its super fun

Greekgod: no.

Megaphone: yo wait how is chan

Megaphone: kinda left the last conversation on a very open-ended note here....

Thaibaby: what conversation

Greekgod: remember that night you guys partied with stray kidz and got super drunk

EarlyBird: scroll up dumbasses

HitTheYug: ey watch it newbie

EarlyBird: one day you will get tired of the newbie thing

HitTheYug: never.

Thaibaby: huh okay im looking at the convo

Thaibaby: yall feel like playing matchmakers?

KookieMonster: duh

EarlyBird: yess my turn to get someone together

Lostboy: bring it baby

Thaibaby: ight we're bringing him in here temporarily

Thaibaby: all aboard say aye

HitTheYug: AYE
Greekgod: AYE

EiffelPuppy: AYE

Lostboy: AYE

EarlyBird: AYE

Megaphone: AYE

KookieMonster: AYE

[Thaibaby has added Chan into the group]

KookieMonster: BANG CHAN YOU HAVE THE HONOR TO BE HERE

Chan: uh.. hi?

Chan: what's going on sunbaenims?

Greekgod: QUIT WITH THE SUNBAENIMS

KookieMonster: QUIT WITH THE SUNBAENIMS

Chan: RIGHT SORRY REFLEX

HitTheYug: you two again???

Lostboy: freaky i fucking tell you

Megaphone: no kidding..

EiffelPuppy: BANG CHAN

Chan: yes?

EiffelPuppy: THE 97-LINERS GROUPCHATS HAS HEREBY DECIDED TO PLAY

MATCHMAKER

EiffelPuppy: AND HELP YOU WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS

EarlyBird: eloquently stated

Megaphone: i thought so too

EiffelPuppy: why thank you

Lostboy: ight babe spill what's the problem

Chan: babe?

HitTheYug: we call everyone babe here dont worry about it

Chan: makes sense

Chan: i need to know how good are you guys tho

EarlyBird: They managed to get me 5 boyfriends all at the same time.

Chan: SOLD

Chan: okay so basically we've been having alot of promotions and everyone's been working hard
but because of that we've kinda distanced ourselves?

Chan: sexually i mean

Chan: so it's gotten a bit...

Chan: boring?

Greekgod: oh shit been there

Chan: you have?

Greekgod: you think it was easy to promote in 2 units at the same time?

Chan: mad respect

Megaphone: oooo tell him what you did jae

Thaibaby: TELL HIM THAT WAS AMAZING

Chan: what did you do?

EarlyBird: yeah what did you do?

Greekgod: after most promotions were done i convinced the stylists to borrow the sexiest outfit of
those promotions

Greekgod: then i styled myself exactly how i would be if i was going on stage

Greekgod: and then i let the boys soil every

Greekgod: single

Greekgod: thing.

Chan: holy shit.

Chan: and that worked?!

Greekgod: like a charm

EarlyBird: hm this is giving me ideas

KookieMonster: that was totally amazing by the way and i may or may have not done that using a
certain lace shirt anyways

Chan: I'm
Chan: well

Chan: this sounds amazing actually

HitTheYug: well sweetheart now you know what to do

Megaphone: also you looked hot in the double knot mv so i recommend choosing one of those
outfits

Chan: why thank you

Lostboy: your welcome and we will need full details of what goes down in exchange for our
service

Chan: deal

Thaibaby: great now scram

[Thaibaby has kicked Chan out of the groupchat]

KookieMonster: hey eunwoo

KookieMonster: you mentioned ideas

EarlyBird: yeah well you know how i've been holding off the hkps

Megaphone: yes and while understandable and juicy still very annoying

EarlyBird: yeah shush anyways

EarlyBird: the members especially liked my outfits back in all night era now that i think about
it....

Thaibaby: ah yes the mv that made us all believe that you and your members were doing it only to
find out that you weren't and feeling like being slapped in the face

EarlyBird: yeah that

KookieMonster: imma suggest you amp up the make up even

KookieMonster: tae and jimin have been doing that recently and they looked absolutely gorgeous
and excuse me while i go eat them out or something

Greekgod: he literally thinks with his dick

Lostboy: yeah well who in this group doesn't

Greekgod: i really hate that you're right

EiffelPuppy: anyways

EiffelPuppy: any updates on chan?

HitTheYug: not yet

HitTheYug: i did see him sneaking off with a bag tho so i think we're about to hear from him very
soon

[Thaibaby has added Chan into the groupchat]

Thaibaby: now what would you like to say to us?

Chan: IT WORKED

Chan: IT FUCKING WORKED LIKE A CHARM

Chan: the stylists are gonna have my head but

Chan: THAT WAS THE BEST SEX OF MY LIFE

Chan: i've reached levels of pleasure that I did not think were possible.

KookieMonster: eyy looks like the hkps did happen after all

Chan: I KNEW THE S STOOD FOR SEX

Lostboy: duh??

Lostboy: what else would it have been in this group

Chan: touché

Chan: i owe my thanks to jaehyun

Greekgod: your absolute welcome

EiffelPuppy: you owe your thanks to everyone because we brainstormed this together you selfish
prick

Greekgod: yeah yeah

Chan: oh i didn't know that

HitTheYug: this group?

HitTheYug: one head several executions

Chan: that's pretty accurate actually

Chan: anyways thanks everyone

Megaphone: our absolute pleasure and don't hesitate to come back

Chan: i won't lmaoo

Thaibaby: great now scram

Thaibaby: again

[Thaibaby has kicked Chan out of the group]

EarlyBird: that was fun!!

HitTheYug: we should really start a matchmaking business

Lostboy: totally

Thaibaby: yeah speaking of which lisa has been asking for some advice

EarlyBird: getting together or saving a relationship

Thaibaby: getting together

Megaphone: even more fun

EiffelPuppy: add her in!!

[Thaibaby added Lisa to the groupchat]

Lisa: um hi?

Thaibaby: kay babe heres how youre getting together with the rest of your group

Thaibaby: all in guys??

KookieMonster: fuck yeah

Lisa: omg

EiffelPuppy: you're gonna bring out strict instructor lisa and it'll be hot

Lisa: I'm gonna what now

Thaibaby: i like this matchmaking business

Megaphone: goddamn you have alot of contacts

Thaibaby: what can i say

Thaibaby: im a busy guy

HitTheYug: all this matchmaking gave me some really good ideas

Thaibaby: uh oh

HitTheYug: im gonna make sure you get railed tonight

EarlyBird: alright guys take it out of the group

 KookieMonster: and theres the yug and bam we know

Lostboy: we can smell the sex all the way till here

Lostboy: no wait thats probably seungkwan getting railed too

Megaphone: yeah it is

Megaphone: coups hyungs really going at it

KookieMonster: nice

Greekgod: you literally had a threesome like 2 hours ago

KookieMonster: and it was amazing

KookieMonster: your point?

Greekgod: touché

EiffelPuppy: anyways i agree with bam and say this matchmaking business is good

EiffelPuppy: should we start charging people?

EarlyBird: no.

Megaphone: no.

Greekgod: no.

EiffelPuppy: worth a shot

Chapter End Notes

Uh hi?
Miss me?

Lmao hi everyone!

Where have I been:

I got overwhelmed with uni finals and submission these past few months I barely
could think. I couldn't bring myself to write anymore or do any of my hobbies and
chose to focus on my work instead.

I'm sorry for the disappearance!

Yes I'm back with 3 new chapters as a gift and apology for disappearing for so long!

Corona Situation:

Part of the reason I also came back is that in a time like this I wanted to bring you guys
some joy even if it's just a little. Take care everyone and stay safe!

I know everyone's bored (Can't relate with the amount of submission I have ) so I'll
try to update as much as I can. I still have a month of uni for this semester so bear with
me.

Requests:

CLOSED for the time being. A reason being that I still have quite a few I didn't get
through from the last time I was here.

Another reason is because I realized I've been so focused on completing requests I

haven't been able to do prompts such as the ones I'm posting now like I wanted to for
so long.

But enough of that now.

What's everyone's favorite part of the fic? I'm very curious

 Of Boyfriends and Wars
Chapter Summary

The Boyfriend Wars Pt. 1

Chapter Notes

Greekgod: Jaehyun
Lostboy: The8
Megaphone: DK
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
KookieMonster: Jungkook
EarlyBird: Eunwoo
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

KookieMonster: wjksjsksksks

KookieMonster: JSKSJSKSKSKSKS

KookieMonster: OWLANDLSJSKAKEJEKSJWOSKIDOEKSKS

Megaphone: what's gotten into you at 2 fucking am

KookieMonster: JSKSODLWNSKAKDNKS

Greekgod: jungkook fucking spit it out

HitTheYug: fucks sake get along with it

EarlyBird: wow looks like everyones in a bad mood

Lostboy: gee wonder what gave that away

KookieMonster: IF HOBI HYUNG SINGS TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR OME MORE
TIME IM GONNA CUT HIS DICK OFF AND MURDER HIM

KookieMonster: IT WAS FINE THE FIRST 2 TIMES BUT I AM TO RIP HIS LIMBS AND
SHOVE THEM DOWN HIS THROAT

Thaibaby: YOUR HYUNGS BEEN ANNOYING TOO??????

EiffelPuppy: WAIT YOU GUYS TOO????

EarlyBird: WHAT THE FUCK

KookieMonster: wait what the fuck

Greekgod: If Doyoung and Taeyong don't stop bickering I will tie their tongues to a metal rod and
hope they die out of poisoning.

EarlyBird: okay wait pause

EarlyBird: we're all angry and annoyed

EarlyBird: this can't be a coincidence

EiffelPuppy: coincidence or not I'm about to gouge someone's eyeballs

HitTheYug: fight back thats what we've been doing

Thaibaby: scream like a banshee everytime someone does a sound

Thaibaby: works

KookieMonster: imma take you up on that

KookieMonster: wow he actually shut up

KookieMonster: i can finally hear myself think

Lostboy: wow you think?

KookieMonster: listen honey im not in the best mood rn so dont test me

Lostboy: you wanna go bitch?

EarlyBird: both of you calm the fuck down and go to sleep

KookieMonster: FINE

Lostboy: FINE

Greekgod: @Megaphone @EiffelPuppy keep him on a leash will you

Megaphone: already did

Leaders Groupchat

Seungcheol: hello everyone

JinJin: spit it hyung

JB: woah there what's got your panties in a twist

Taeyong: yes hello what is it

Namjoon: why the fuck is everyone in a bad mood

Seungcheol: because

Seungcheol: has anyones respective 97 liner been so annoying recently

JinJin: YES

Taeyong: YES

JB: YES

Namjoon: YES

JB: explains the bad mood then

Taeyong: they're plotting against us aren't they

JinJin: this can't be a coincidence

Seungcheol: THIS IS WAR

Namjoon: woah woah what if it was a coincidence

Seungcheol: LISTEN THERES THREE PEOPLE PLOTTING AGAINST ME

Namjoon: nevermind jungkook just left his boxers in the sink

Namjoon: THIS IS WAR

JinJin: WAR

JB: WAR

Taeyong: WAR

JB: since we're going into war against our members i suggest we split into teams and keep this
group for advice and ideas

Taeyong: would that be cheating tho

Seungcheol: taeyong sweetheart

Seungcheol: THERE ARE THREE PEOPLE PLOTTING AGAINST ME

Taeyong: very fair

JinJin: also do you honestly think the 97 liners wont be feeding each other intel
Namjoon: true

Namjoon: what about the others tho

JB: who the fuck cares

Namjoon: point

Seungcheol: now if youll excuse me

Seungcheol: imma go start a war

JB: Go forth soldier and fly like the wind

Seventeen Groupchat

Seungcheol: EVERYONE IN HERE NOW.

Dino: tf is happening

Joshua: language baby

Seungcheol: @Mingyu @The8 @DK

Seungcheol: you three specifically have been nothing but annoying this past week so im calling
war

DK: excuse me?!

The8: tell that to hoshi whos been tap dancing on every single surface and every single nerve

Hoshi: WHAT

Mingyu: or to seungkwan whos been flooding the bathroom on purpose with dish soap

Seungkwan: I DID NOT

DK: Okay yeah THIS IS WAR

DK: MINGYU MINGHAO AND I ONE TEAM

Seungcheol: FINE

Seungcheol: WONWOO VERNON AND JUN ARE WITH ME

Jun: DEAL

Vernon: FUCK YEAH

Hoshi: I TAKE WOOZI AND DINO

Woozi: DONE
Jeonghan: what is this?

Jeonghan: production line?

Jeonghan: fine then joshua and seungkwan are with me and you're all going the fuck down

Wonwoo: so that's how it is huh

Jeonghan: fuck yes.

Wonwoo: i see you jeonghan and your little team isn't gonna scare mine yeah?

Mingyu: okay real talk the sexual tension here is suffocating

DK: GET A ROOM

Seungcheol: seriously

Seungcheol: and wonwoo no fraternizing with the enemy

NCT Groupchat

Taeyong: ALRIGHT

Jaehyun: what now

Jaehyun: you and doyoung wanna bicker over my head again

Doyoung: show some respect you little shit

Jaehyun: MAKE ME

Taeyong: THIS IS WAR 97 LINER

Taeyong: EVERYONE IN THIS GROUP IS PART OF THE WAR NOW

Ten: good so i can finally take you down FOR EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE THIS PAST
WEEK

Lucas: IT IS SO ON AND I GET MARK AND JOHNNY

Johnny: DEAL

Mark: IM IN

Jaehyun: doyoung why don't you hurry to hyung's team since you've been stuck to him like a bug
all week

Doyoung: oh it bothers you?

Taeyong: THEN DOYOUNG AND JUNGWOO ARE WITH ME

Jungwoo: you're going down punks

Jaehyun: I GET WINWIN AND YUTA

Yuta: APPROVED

Ten: DIBS ON TAEIL AND HAECHAN

Haechan: ITS OVER FOR YOU NOW BITCHES

Taeil: oh it soooo on

Winwin: this is gonna be fun.

GOT7 Groupchat

JB: @Yugyeom @Bambam

JB: are you done with your shenanigans yet??

Bambam: is jackson done making animal noises whenever one of us asks a question?

Jackson: haha losers

Bambam: im gonna murder you slowly hyung.

Yugyeom: are you done being an annoying prick?

JB: Well i guess the fuck not so IM CALLING WAR

Bambam: ABOUT TIME

Yugyeom: i am not letting go of bambam

Mark: as if we didnt see that coming

Mark: i get youngjae and thats final.

Youngjae: yessss

JB: WHAT

JB: I GET JACKSON THEN

Yugyeom: and what about junior

Jinyoung: did you really just call junior you piece of shit

Yugyeom: i did

Jinyoung: you're gonna wish you were dead.

Jinyoung: and I work alone.

Bambam: settled?
Bambam: okay yug and i have some revenge planning to do.

Astro Groupchat

JinJin: everyone one of you has been a little shit so we've decided to wage war

Eunwoo: we?

JinJin: none of your business.

Eunwoo: i know it's the leaders groupchat hyung

Eunwoo: don't think you're so smart

JinJin: get in your own team and mind your business cha eunwoo

Eunwoo: i choose mj hyung

MJ: and i agree

JinJin: moonbin youre with me

Moonbin: hell yes

Sanha: that leaves me and rocky

Rocky: couldnt be happier partner

JinJin: RULES: DO WHATEVER YOU WANT THAT DOESNT INVOLVE MURDER OR

ARSON

BTS Groupchat

Jimin: JIN HYUNG IF YOU DON'T STOP PLAYING THAT GUITAR BADLY I'M GONNA
SMASH IT OVER YOUR HEAD

Jin: COME GET IT

Namjoon: ALL OF YOU GET IN HERE AND CHOOSE YOUR TEAMS

Jungkook: WHAT TEAMS

Namjoon: THIS IS WAR AND SHIT'S ABOUT TO GO DOWN

Yoongi: DIBS ON JIN

Taehyung: JIMINS MINE

Jungkook: I WORK ALONE BECAUSE ALL OF YOU SUCK

Hoseok: I GET THE BRAINS OF THIS HOUSE

 Hoseok: EAT SHIT

97-Liners Groupchat

EarlyBird: ALRIGHT

EarlyBird: our leaders talked to each other and i'm assuming by now everyone has waged war
against their respective members

Jungkook: im already stocking up

EiffelPuppy: this is gonna be a mess

EiffelPuppy: AND WE HAVE TO WIN

Lostboy: FUCK YEAH WE ARE

Greekgod: everyone ready for this?

Thaibaby: i was born ready baby

Megaphone: we're calling it

Megaphone: the boyfriend wars.

Chapter End Notes

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

What do you think the outcome of this is gonna be?

 Of Boyfriends and Wars Pt. 2
Chapter Summary

The Boyfriend Wars Pt. 2

Chapter Notes

Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
Greekgod: Jaehyun
KookieMonster: Jungkook
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Megaphone: DK
Lostboy: The8
EarlyBird: Eunwoo

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

HitTheYug: IM GONNA MURDERRRRRR

Greekgod: @Thaibaby there are no rules in this war but please make him lay off the murder

HitTheYug: YOUNGJAE JUST LET COCO PEE IN MY SHOES AND MY BED SHEETS

Lostboy: MURDERRR

EiffelPuppy: no minghao.

Thaibaby: yug we need to plan our next attack

KookieMonster: come on whats your next attack

HitTheYug: MURDER

EarlyBird: yugyeom no

Thaibaby: how about a glitter bomb?

Megaphone: didn't you do that during our prank war?

Thaibaby: so?

EarlyBird: ah yes i heard about the prank war

KookieMonster: fun times

EiffelPuppy: okay wait how about a glitter shower?

HitTheYug: whats the fucking difference

EiffelPuppy: you stuff the shower head with glitter so that when they turn on the water glitter
would poor out instead

Thaibaby: GENIUS

Thaibaby: I LOVE YOU MINGYU

HitTheYug: i love you.

HitTheYug: BAM LETS GO FIND SOME GLITTER

NCT Groupchat

Johnny: @Yuta @Jaehyun @Winwin

Johnny: IM GONNA BEAT YOU UP

Yuta: COME AT ME

Taeil: WHAT THEY DO

Johnny: LUCAS MARK AND I ARE COVERED IN SHAVING CREAM

Johnny: AND WE KNOW ITS YOU GUYS BECAUSE THATS THE BRAND YUTA USES

Winwin: LOSERS

Lucas: YOURE GETTING IT PUNK

Jungwoo: haha losers

Lucas: you wanna go jungwoo????

Jungwoo: BRING IT

97-Liners Groupchat

EarlyBird: i'm starting to think this war is a bad idea

KookieMonster: what makes you say that

EarlyBird: well...

Astro Groupchat

Sanha: OKAY WHO DID THIS

Sanha: I WANT TO KNOW THIS INSTANT

Moonbin: whats wrong maknae?

Moonbin: you look a little..

JinJin: wet

Rocky: YOU TWO FLOODED OUR ROOM

Sanha: MY PAPERS ARE ALL RUINED

JinJin: and what makes you say that :D

Rocky: YOU'RE GONNA PAY

MJ: what do you mean my room's flooded?

Moonbin: oh that was mjs room too??

Moonbin: we had no idea!

MJ: You'll have an idea WHEN I FEED YOU MY FIST

Eunwoo: hyung you're sharing my bed tonight

Rocky: SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN FUCKTARDS

Leaders Groupchat

Namjoon: i'm starting to think this war is a bad idea

Seungcheol: what makes you say that?

Namjoon: well

Namjoon: [video]

Taeyong: fuck jin hyung and jungkook are really going at it

JB: aaaand they broke the table

JinJin: DID THEY REALLY KUNG FU KICK EACH OTHER

Namjoon: jungkook replaced jins favorite shampoo with bleach and this happened
Seungcheol: holy fuck.

JB: these two need to fuck

JinJin: HYUNG

JB: don't be such a prude

JB: what you haven't fucked eunwoo yet?

JinJin: no...

Taeyong: WHAT

Seungcheol: WHAT

Namjoon: jinjin what the fuck

JinJin: we're taking it slow okay

Taeyong: okay we seriously need to visit your sex life after this war

Seungcheol: yup

JinJin: is my sex life really more important than jin-ssi and jungkook-ssi breaking the table?

Taeyong: yup

Namjoon: yup

JB: yup

Seungcheol: yup

Seungcheol: quick question

Seungcheol: which is worse: melted cheese or melted chocolate

JB: cheese

Namjoon: cheese

JinJin: cheese

Taeyong: cheese

Seventeen Groupchat

Jeonghan: WHO THE FUCK

Jeonghan: WHY THE FUCK

Seungkwan: MY BAGGGGG
 Jun: you guys are smelling a little...

Jun: cheesy

Seungkwan: IM GONNA CHOKE YOU

Vernon: now now thats not very nice

Jeonghan: joshuas passed out at the sight of the mess

DK: if he can't handle the war then he should just back out

Joshua: over my dead body.

Chapter End Notes

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

 Of Boyfriends and Wars Pt. 3
Chapter Summary

The Boyfriends War Pt. 3

kelly2010 pointed out: "I don't know if you're on Weverse at all, but Seventeen
members left a mess in Woozi's studio and Woozi called them out on it."

Chapter Notes

KookieMonster: Jungkook
Greekgod: Jaehyun
EarlyBird: Eunwoo
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Megaphone: DK
Lostboy: The8
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Seventeen Groupchat

Woozi: @Mingyu @DK @The8

Woozi: You three get 0 lines next comeback.

Woozi: I will rip your limbs out, feed you them one by one then decapitate you and leave your
bodies to the wolves.

Vernon: uh hyung....

Jun: i forgot how scary jihoon can be when he's pissed

Dino: damn what did they do?

Woozi: [image]

Woozi: THEY TRASHED MY FUCKING STUDIO

Woozi: IM OUT FOR BLOOD

DK: murder isn't part of the rules hyung

Woozi: I DONT CARE

Woozi: IF I GET MY HANDS ON YOU THREE YOURE DEAD TO ME

Woozi: DO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME

The8: @Mingyu @DK should we run?

Woozi: DO YOU FUCKING HEAR ME

Mingyu: @Hoshi @Seungkwan wanna calm down woozi hyung before he has a seizure?

Woozi: FUCKING RUN YOU COWARDS BECAUSE I WILL KILL YOU IN THE MOST
PAINFUL WAY POSSIBLE

97-Liner Groupchat

Lostboy: uh guys advice

Lostboy: we may have taken things too far?

EarlyBird: what did you do.

EiffelPuppy: we may have trashed jihoon hyungs studio??

KookieMonster: you did what.

Greekgod: monitors included???

Megaphone: yes...?

Thaibaby: bro even yug and i know not to touch jb hyungs studio

HitTheYug: what the fuck

Megaphone: [image]

EarlyBird: he's gonna have a seizure if he keeps screaming like that

Lostboy: i think hes having one already...?

Greekgod: you fucked up bigtime

EiffelPuppy: yeah we know that captain obvious

EiffelPuppy: what do we dooooo

Lostboy: SHIT HE CAME BACK HOME

Megaphone: SHIT SHIT SHIT

Megaphone: HOW DID HE COME BACK SO FAST

EiffelPuppy: FUCK

EiffelPuppy: we're so dead.

HitTheYug: rip in peace Kim Mingyu, Lee Seokmin, and Xu Minghao 1997-2020

Leaders Groupchat

Seungcheol: so guys

Seungcheol: hows the war?

Namjoon: i'm this close to throwing my members off of the top of the building

JinJin: we said no murder or arson hyung

Namjoon: I KNOW

Namjoon: SHUT UP

Taeyong: my teams busy stinking up the dance studio which we know for a fact that ten haechan
and winwin are gonna be there

JinJin: oh god

JinJin: what about you hyung @Seungcheol

Seungcheol: we may have gotten carried away...?

Taeyong: that doesnt sound good at all

Seungcheol: basically the 97 liners trashed jihoons studio including the monitors

Namjoon: THEY DID WHAT

JinJin: oh fuck

Taeyong: fucking hell he's probably having a heart attack right now

Seungcheol: uh no he's past that

Seungcheol: but his teams running after the 97 liners to kill them and THEYRE TRASHING THE
WHOLE DORM

Taeyong: WELL GET IN THERE

Seungcheol: AND DIE?

Seungcheol: [video]

Seungcheol: DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A SITUATION WHERE I CAN COME OUT ALIVE

JinJin: are woozi-ssi and hoshi-ssi holding spatulas?

Namjoon: yeah thats not pretty

Namjoon: believe me you do not want to be smacked with a spatula at all

Taeyong: speaking from experiences?

Namjoon: might have broken jins no entering the kitchen rule one too many times

JinJin: yikes

Seungcheol: imma stay out of this one

Namjoon: listen i get where woozis coming from

Namjoon: jaebum and i would be furious of that happened to us

Taeyong: speaking of which where is he?? @JB

Seungcheol: @JB

Namjoon: @JB

JinJin: @JB

JB: [image]

Taeyong: wait if all of GOT7 is tied up then who's on JB's phone...?

JB: Hello

JB: it's Jinyoung

Namjoon: uh hi jinyoung

JinJin: um why are the rest of got7 tied up on the floor?

JB: Because they've gotten on my nerves and I'm making sure everyone regrets doing that

JB: now if you'll excuse me I need to grab the buckets of ice water

Taeyong: NO WAIT

Taeyong: maybe we can reach an agreement?

JB: and why would we do that?

JinJin: they look terrified

JB: so?

Seungcheol: wait jinyoung ssi

Seungcheol: we admit the war may have gotten a bit.... out of hand

JB: a bit?

Seungcheol: okay alot

JB: mm

Namjoon: so we'll agree to call it off

JB: And what would i get out of that?

JinJin: an apology from everyone....?

JB: interesting

JB: not satisfying enough tho

JB: now if you'll excuse me

Taeyong: NO WAIT

Taeyong: how about a coronation?

Taeyong: you get crowned king of the war among GOT7 and they'd have to bow to you

Namjoon: oh that's humiliating

JinJin: very

JB: Very

JB: I accept

JB: it was nice negotiating with you

Seungcheol: anytime haha

JB: THANK YOU GUYS FOR FREEING ME

Taeyong: oh thank god

Taeyong: that was the scariest negotiation of my life

JB: Jfc one minute i was planning something and the next thing I know I'm tied up on the floor

Seungcheol: how the fuck did that happen

JB: I DONT KNOW

Namjoon: man jinyoungs way too scary

Seungcheol: my heart was in my throat for you

JinJin: sorry we had to negotiate with these terms tho

JB: ugh wars off in the got7 dorm

Namjoon: good choice

JB: you should probably call it off too

Seungcheol: on it

Seungcheol: or else there will be blood

JB: i thought we said no murder of arson?

Seungcheol: check the video

JB: Oh fuck

JB: with a spatula???

JB: that HURTS

Seungcheol: I KNOW

JB: getting fucked with it is one thing but this??

JB: I have nightmares

Seungcheol: I KNOW

JinJin: wait wait you've gotten fucked with a spatula?

Taeyong: you haven't?

JinJin: UH NO?

Namjoon: once again

Namjoon: we are SO visiting your sex life when everything calms down

Taeyong: totally

Taeyong: also i might have made things worse right now

JB: oh no.

Namjoon: I HEARD A CRASH

JB: OH NO

~
NCT Groupchat

Ten: WHOEVER DID THIS FUCK YOU

Ten: AND YOU'RE IN TROUBLE WITH MANAGEMENT FUCKERS

Jaehyun: WHY IS MY TEAMMATE SOAKED TO THE BONE

Lucas: what happened??

Ten: SOMEONE PUT A FUCKING STINK BOMB THATS SO BAD THE FIRE ALARM
THOUGHT IT WAS SMOKE AND IT GOT SET OFF IN THE DANCE STUDIO

Doyoung: shit

Haechan: IT WAS YOU WASNT IT

Doyoung: @Taeyong @Jungwoo run?

Jungwoo: YOULL NEVER CATCH US

Ten: WAIT TILL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU

97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: well fuck

Greekgod: wars off in the nct dorm

KookieMonster: what why

Greekgod: [image]

Greekgod: management found out and they are not happy at all

HitTheYug: fucking hell

HitTheYug: wars off here too

EarlyBird: you too??

Thaibaby: yeah lets just say we decided to mutually call it off after a certain... incident

KookieMonster: it involves jinyoung hyung doesnt it

HitTheYug: how the fuck did you know

KookieMonster: hes scary as fuck

Greekgod: agreed

EarlyBird: from what i heard i agree too

KookieMonster: lmao what do you have to do?

Thaibaby: ...

Thaibaby: bow to him and crown him war king

Greekgod: you are never living this down

HitTheYug: WE KNOW

Thaibaby: anyway seventeens probably calling their war off too

EarlyBird: why?

HitTheYug: [image]

HitTheYug: [image]

Greekgod: with a spatula???

Thaibaby: yup

Greekgod: someones gonna die tonight

KookieMonster: if i were them id call it off too

EarlyBird: what's up with the spatula?

HitTheYug: its strongest weapon mankind has ever seen.

KookieMonster: agreed

Greekgod: agreed

Thaibaby: agreed

EarlyBird: huh

EarlyBird: thanks for the tip

Thaibaby: i do not want to know what you mean by that.

EarlyBird: it's better that you don't

BTS Groupchat

Namjoon: I ASK FOR A TRUCE

Jin: whats that for coward

Namjoon: LISTEN

Namjoon: AND THIS GOES FOR EVERYONE

Namjoon: based on what I've seen from other groups and what I've seen here I propose we call the
war off

Jungkook: what makes you think we will accept

Namjoon: YOU AND JIN TRASHED THE DORM

Namjoon: THERES BROKEN GLASS ON THE FLOOR THAT HOSEOK ALMOST STEPPED
IN AND INJURED HIMSELF BADLY

Namjoon: THE KITCHEN MARBLE COUNTER HAS A CRACK IN IT FROM TAE AND
JIMIN WHICH I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THAT COULD HAPPEN

Namjoon: YOONGI COMPLETELY DESTROYED ALL THE PILLOWS IN THE HOUSE

AND WE'RE ALL GONNA HAVE NECK PROBLEMS

Namjoon: NOT TO MENTION THERE'S FEATHER EVERYWHERE

Namjoon: DO YOU WANT ME TO GO ON

Yoongi: okay reading this we have taken it a bit too far i admit

Namjoon: A BIT?!

Yoongi: OKAY A LOT

Jimin: yeah i agree with yoongi hyung

Taehyung: the house does look trashed

Namjoon: nice of you to notice

Hoseok: i support namjoon and agree to call the war off

Jimin: tae and i support too

Yoongi: i support

Jungkook: NEVER

Jin: OVER MY DEAD BODY

Hoseok: then you two will be kicked out and no sex or cuddles for a month

Jin: WARS OFF

Jungkook: WARS OFF

Namjoon: great

Namjoon: because we have a lot of repairing to do

~
97-Liners Groupchat

EiffelPuppy: WE'RE ALIVE

Lostboy: BARELY MADE IT BUT WE'RE HERE

Greekgod: how the fuck did you get away from the death machine

Megaphone: coups hyung and the rest teamed up to break us up from hoshi woozi and seungkwans
clutches

EiffelPuppy: believe me it was not easy at all

Thaibaby: they had spatulas

Thaibaby: of course it wasnt easy

Megaphone: i literally saw my life before my eyes okay

KookieMonster: congrats

KookieMonster: im guessing wars off?

Lostboy: yup

KookieMonster: same

EarlyBird: how come

KookieMonster: [image]

EarlyBird: how the fuck do you break a marble counter

KookieMonster: hey it wasnt me ask them

HitTheYug: im convinced you guys eat glass and steel

KookieMonster: and you dont?

KookieMonster: your groups literally a martial arts group

HitTheYug: touché.

Greekgod: gotta admit its nice knowing i finally get to sleep without someone pranking me

Lostboy: same

Lostboy: hopefully

EiffelPuppy: i think we should tell woozi hyung we backed up everything on a hard drive

EarlyBird: you think?!

Megaphone: im surprised astros the only group that hasnt stopped the war
EarlyBird: trust me

EarlyBird: We're surprised too

Astro Groupchat

MJ: Does anyone hear a faint noise?

Eunwoo: yeah I hear it

Eunwoo: like something deflating or leaking

Moonbin: i cant tell where its coming from

JinJin: i think its from one of the room

Sanha: WAIT WHAT

Rocky: THIS ISNT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN

Sanha: DID ANYONE TOUCH MY BAG

Eunwoo: I did??

Eunwoo: i moved it to the side of the room

Rocky: EVERYONE IN THE DORM GET OUT NOW

Moonbin: THE SOUNDS GETTING LOUDER

Sanha: GET OUT

Astro Groupchat

JinJin: okay

JinJin: so wars off

MJ: good call

JinJin: and now we have to clean all the paint before management finds out

Sanha: rocky and i are already starting

JinJin: cool cool

JinJin: nice war everyone

JinJin: lets never repeat that again

JinJin: all in favor say aye

Eunwoo: AYE

Moonbin: AYE

MJ: AYE

Rocky: AYE

Sanha: AYE

97-Liner Groupchat

KookieMonster: wow i forgot what calm meant

Thaibaby: same

Greekgod: same

EiffelPuppy: same

EarlyBird: so how big is the damage

HitTheYug: 3 broken doors, 2 damaged water faucets, a bunch of torn clothes from everyone and
one huge black stripe on the wall that we still dont know how it got there

KookieMonster: broken glass table, broken marble counter, all the pillows are torn up, the couch
is missing a leg and the left side of the tv doesnt work anymore

Greekgod: a ruined mattress, an out of order bathroom, floor tiles are permanently stained and
theres a crack in the ceiling

Greekgod: also the smell of cheese won't go away

Megaphone: woozis studio is still trashed, theres glitter in places glitter shouldnt be, hf burnt
curtains and my closet doesnt have doors or mirrors anymore

Megaphone: you?

EarlyBird: a flooded room, another covered in paint and the fumes kill, all the furniture is out of
place and the microwave is completely broken

EarlyBird: so

EarlyBird: we are so repeating that later

Lostboy: oh yeah definitely

HitTheYug: lets just say this is on pause right now

Greekgod: the rest don't even know

KookieMonster: i say we keep it that way

 Megaphone: its more fun anyways

EarlyBird: glad to know we're all on the same page

Chapter End Notes

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

And that's the end of that!

Listen Jinyoung had to win because frankly that man is too powerful.

Let me know what you think!

To all my old readers thank you for sticking around while I was gone! (For those who
did anyways.)
To all my new readers, I'm sorry you had to find this during my period if inactivity.
I'm trying to make it up now :)
 Of Sex and Plans
Chapter Summary

In which Eunwoo messes with his partners.

Chapter Notes

EarlyBird: Eunwoo
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Megaphone: DK
Lostboy: The8
KookieMonster: Jungkook
Greekgod: Jaehyun
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

EarlyBird: :)

Megaphone: oh boy

HitTheYug: that doesnt look good

EarlyBird: :)))

KookieMonster: somethings up

Lostboy: should we be scared?

Greekgod: maybe?

EarlyBird: :)))))

Thaibaby: i think definitely

EiffelPuppy: spit it out eunwoo

EarlyBird: sooo
Megaphone: for the love of god

EarlyBird: I've decided

Thaibaby: YOUVE DECIDED WHAT

KookieMonster: CHA EUNWOO OUT WITH IT ALREADY

EarlyBird: THIS IS THE WEEK

Lostboy: THE WEEK OF WHAT

HitTheYug: wait

HitTheYug: is it what i think it is?

EarlyBird: maybe?

HitTheYug: OH MY GOD

EiffelPuppy: WHAT IS IT

HitTheYug: DUMBFUCKS

HitTheYug: ITS HKPS TIME

Thaibaby: FUCKING FINALLY

Greekgod: about time.

KookieMonster: FUCK YES

EiffelPuppy: shh shh shut up

EiffelPuppy: how are we doing this?

EarlyBird: we?

Megaphone: you honestly think we aren't as invested in this as you are?

EarlyBird: touché.

EarlyBird: well you guys gave me the idea of the outfit so I'm pulling up the All Night look and
hoping they drool

Lostboy: not bad

Lostboy: but not enough

EarlyBird: what?

KookieMonster: dongmin babe

KookieMonster: you gotta make them riled up

KookieMonster: what you think we just stood there and demanded to be fucked?

Greekgod: i can think of a certain someone who did do that

Thaibaby: SHUT UP

Thaibaby: I WAS HORNY OKAY

Megaphone: YOU ALWAYS ARE

Thaibaby: you got me there

HitTheYug: ugh why am I in love with you again

Thaibaby: because youre constantly horny too

HitTheYug: you got me there

EiffelPuppy: BACK TO THE MAIN POINT

EarlyBird: yes please educate me

Greekgod: what kook was saying is that you should build it up

KookieMonster: yes

Greekgod: like some gestures in the beginning and by the end of the week they'd be so sexually
frustrated that they'd explode

HitTheYug: and youll have HKPS!

Lostboy: man yugs like the hkps advocate or something

HitTheYug: yes i am

EarlyBird: ignoring these two

EarlyBird: i like the sound of that

EarlyBird: so i start with something simple like bending down to pick up something and then
build it up

EiffelPuppy: atta boy

EiffelPuppy: you're really getting the mentality of this group

EarlyBird: why thank you

Megaphone: okay so the classic bend as a starter on day 1 is good

Megaphone: i recommend also wearing the lowest cut white shirt you have for dance practice

KookieMonster: holy shit whenever hobi does that no one can keep it in their pants trust me
KookieMonster: ugh just thinking about those exposed collarbones and shoulders...

Thaibaby: kook focus

Greekgod: yeah maybe keep that for a day 3 sorta thing

EarlyBird: good idea

EarlyBird: what about day 2

Lostboy: light touches

Lostboy: EVERYWHERE

HitTheYug: OO YES

HitTheYug: bro these can drive you crazy

Megaphone: true

Lostboy: under the table over the table on the couch

Lostboy: EVERYWHERE

EarlyBird: speaking from experience?

Lostboy: of course

Lostboy: im not an amateur

EiffelPuppy: this guy would come other and "lightly touch" your dick then leave and leave you
cockblocked

EiffelPuppy: oh you are so getting it later on

Greekgod: CAN WE STOP GETTING SIDETRACKED

EarlyBird: oh no keep going please

Thaibaby: youre horny arent you

EarlyBird: um

EarlyBird: maybe?

Thaibaby: EUNWOO IS OFFICIALLY PART OF THE GROUP GENTLEMEN

Megaphone: that's the spirit

Greekgod: ANYWAYS

Greekgod: you have enough material to work with for now

Greekgod: we'll brainstorm later after everyone here jerks off or something
KookieMonster: GREAT SEE YA

Megaphone: off to get some dick

Greekgod: perverts

Leaders Groupchat

Seungcheol: okay now that things have finally calmed down

Seungcheol: jinwoo you have some explaining to do

JinJin: oh no

Taeyong: oh yes

JinJin: i was hoping you guys forgot about that

JB: Look us in the eye and tell us you honestly believed we would

JinJin: touché

Namjoon: so what's the deal

JinJin: fine

JinJin: so basically its been going great ever since we started dating eunwoo

JinJin: hes amazing sweet and we're all so in love with him

JinJin: but it never goes past making out

JinJin: like once things get heated he just moves away

JinJin: im worried he might not be confident around us?

JinJin: which is stupid because he's literally the embodiment of perfection

Taeyong: my god you're so sweet

Taeyong: i'm crying

Seungcheol: have you tried talking to him about it?

JinJin: well no

JinJin: we dont want to pressure him into something hes not ready for

Namjoon: that's fair

JB: we can find out if you like

JinJin: what no
JinJin: i dont want him to feel like we're upset or anything!!

Seungcheol: seriously we can ask the 97 liners

JinJin: hyungs dont

JinJin: promise me you wont do anything

JinJin: we appreciate the concern but promise

JB: alright we respect your choice

Taeyong: we wont do anything right guys?

Seungcheol: right

Namjoon: of course!!

NCT Groupchat

Taeyong: @Jaehyun help

Jaehyun: ??

Taeyong: [image]

Taeyong: [image]

Taeyong: so what's up with eunwoo

Jaehyun: ahh

Jaehyun: [image]

Jaehyun: [image]

Taeyong: so that's all happening this week

Jaehyun: yup

Taeyong: then why all the hold up

Jaehyun: he's just evil like that

Taeil: this boy's been hanging out with you guys way too often

Taeyong: you've corrupted him

Jaehyun: it's what we do best

Taeyong: anyways you guys keep plotting and we'll keep consoling JinJin

Jaehyun: omg i love you

Taeyong: of course

Taeyong: plus it's fun to mess with him

Taeyong: oh and don't tell eunwoo

Jaehyun: of course not

Private Chat: Taeyong and Jaebum

Taeyong: [image]

Taeyong: [image]

Jaebum: I knew something was going on

Private Chat: Taeyong and Namjoon

Taeyong: [image]

Taeyong: [image]

Namjoon: makes way more sense

Private Chat: Taeyong and Seungcheol

Taeyong: [image]

Taeyong: [image]

Seungcheol: man we gotta let this boy breathe

Seungcheol: then again its way more fun not to

97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: @EarlyBird its been a day

Greekgod: update us already

Thaibaby: seriously

EarlyBird: day 1 successful

EarlyBird: also I discovered I'm surprisingly flexible

Lostboy: thats gonna come handy in bed trust me

KookieMonster: yup

EarlyBird: anyways I bent several times and I swear I could feel their eyes on me

EiffelPuppy: who wouldn't want a piece of that gorgeous ass

EarlyBird: why thank you

Thaibaby: wow you must be really horny if youre not shying away from that compliment

EarlyBird: shut up

EarlyBird: anyways gotta work on day 2 now

Megaphone: constant updates bird boy!!

Megaphone: or we'll hunt you down

EarlyBird: yeah yeah

EarlyBird: GUYS

EarlyBird: DAY 3 WAS A GENIUS PLAN

EarlyBird: I COULD SEE THEM RILED UP IN THE MIRRORS

KookieMonster: works like a fucking charm i tell you

EarlyBird: oh and I couldn't find a shirt in my closet and ended up wearing one of sanha's

EiffelPuppy: holy shit

HitTheYug: dongmin you sly dog

EarlyBird: I'm pretty sure I can hear someone jerking off in the bathroom

Thaibaby: im impressed newbie

EarlyBird: will you stop

Thaibaby: isnt this your first time seducing someone?

EarlyBird: ... yes.

Thaibaby: then suck it

Megaphone: we need to have a plan for day 4 now

EarlyBird: i kinda have an idea for that

Greekgod: damn newbie

~
Leaders Groupchat

JinJin: hyungs i need advice

Namjoon: what's up?

JinJin: well

JinJin: i told you guys about the whole eunwoo ordeal

JinJin: but now we're just confused

JB: what happened?

JinJin: we were having dinner in the kitchen and then dongmin went up to rocky and legit caged
him between him and the fridge

JinJin: it was incredibly hot

JinJin: we could swear he was about to kiss him against that fridge

JinJin: but then he just opened the fridge door and took out a juice bottle

JinJin: isnt this seducing?

Seungcheol: take it as a good sign!!

JinJin: I should?

Taeyong: this looks like he's coming out of his shy shell!!

JB: Yeah like hes gaining confidence by forcing himself to initiate things

JinJin: yeah i suppose...

Namjoon: he'll get there at his own pace

JB: just indulge him for now

JinJin: okay yeah that makes sense

JinJin: thanks hyungs

97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: @EarlyBird i heard day 4 was a success?

EarlyBird: taeyong hyung found out?

Greekgod: yup

EarlyBird: then yes it was a success

HitTheYug: heard it was incredibly hot too

EarlyBird: well i tried my best

KookieMonster: fuck yeah you did

Lostboy: whats day 5 bitches?

Thaibaby: good question

Megaphone: walk around the house after your shower with only a towel on

EarlyBird: that's scandalous

Greekgod: exactly the point

EarlyBird: fair

EarlyBird: thanks guys!

EarlyBird: once again, day 5 was a success

EarlyBird: man these guys are way too easy to frustrate

Lostboy: omg details

EarlyBird: so i walked by the living room into the kitchen with only a towel with the excuse of
wanting a water bottle

EarlyBird: and everyone "just happened" to be in the living room

EarlyBird: so i went into the room and pretended to be interested in whatever they were watching
for a few minutes before going back to my room

EarlyBird: moonbin dropped his plate

EarlyBird: mj hyung choked on his water

EarlyBird: rocky and sanhas jaw blatantly dropped

EarlyBird: and i could swear jinwoo hyung was avoiding looking at me

Thaibaby: youre right

Thaibaby: theyre way too easy lmaoooo

EarlyBird: seeee

EarlyBird: anyone got any ideas for day 6?

HitTheYug: wanna make it a... sweet chaos?

EiffelPuppy: yug I'm gonna murder you.

EiffelPuppy: eunwoo

EiffelPuppy: grind

EarlyBird: grind?

EiffelPuppy: grind.

EarlyBird: grind?

KookieMonster: grind.

EarlyBird: then I'll grind

Megaphone: may the grind gods be with you

Leaders Groupchat

JinJin: I know we're supposed to let him come at his own pace but this is driving me crazy

Taeyong: hm?

JB: What is?

JinJin: like

JinJin: today dongmin accidently tripped and bumped into moonbin but then he backhugged him
and kinda? Grinded on him?

JinJin: but then he quickly let go before anyone could do anything

JinJin: and then later at night he sat on sanha's lap and wrapped his arms around his neck and
grinded on him

JinJin: and then he smiled and hopped off and went to his room

Taeyong: the boy definitely looks like a switch to me

Seungcheol: control is very important jinwoo ah

Namjoon: yes you don't want to scare the boy off

JinJin: yeah...

JinJin: you're probably right

JB: trust me youll be thanking us

JinJin: right
Taeyong: :)

97-Liners Groupchat

EarlyBird: grind.

EarlyBird: it works beautifully

HitTheYug: damn right it does

Greekgod: jinjin hyung and the rest are frustrated beyond belief

Greekgod: good job

EarlyBird: thanks

EiffelPuppy: so tomorrow?

EarlyBird: yup

EarlyBird: I've convinced the noonas to let me borrow the outfit and that they apply the make up
on me

Megaphone: amazing

KookieMonster: we're all rooting for you

Thaibaby: damn right we are

EarlyBird: I think I'm gonna get railed tomorrow

EiffelPuppy: damn right you are.

EarlyBird: [image]

EarlyBird: how do I look?

KookieMonster: like a damn snack

Lostboy: you look hot

HitTheYug: If we werent in relationships id tap that anytime any day

Megaphone: ugh you and your perfect visuals can fuck off

Greekgod: amazing

EarlyBird: wish me luck boys

Thaibaby: GO GET THAT DICK BABY

EiffelPuppy: AND DETAILS LATER ON

Leaders Groupchat

JinJin: so

Taeyong: sooooo

Namjoon: sooooo

Seungcheol: sooooo

JB: sooooo

JinJin: how much did you know

Namjoon: everything

Seungcheol: from start to finish

JB: it was entertaining seeing you suffer

Taeyong: super entertaining

JinJin: i figured

JinJin: well thanks anyways

Seungcheol: was it fun? ;)

JinJin: of course it was fun hyung don't be dumb

JB: looks like someones finally satisfied

JinJin: ... yes.

Namjoon: well if you ever need sex tips you can ask

JinJin: oh my god hyung

Taeyong: of course!!

JinJin: please stop

97-Liners Groupchat

Thaibaby: @EarlyBird BITCHASS HOW WAS IT

EarlyBird: AMAZING

EarlyBird: BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE

 EarlyBird: although i might get killed because the outfit may or may have not been shredded to
pieces

Greekgod: be honest did you expect it not to?

EarlyBird: you got me there

EarlyBird: you guys were right

EarlyBird: edging them made it way better

Megaphone: of course

Megaphone: we speak from experience babe

EarlyBird: i can tell

EiffelPuppy: what was their reaction when you first went in?

EarlyBird: well

EarlyBird: all i remember is me walking in and then getting pounced on

EarlyBird: suddenly I'm in the bedroom and everyone's clothes were off

Lostboy: as it should be.

KookieMonster: LMAOOOOOO

HitTheYug: THAT SOUNDS AMAZING

EarlyBird: I should do this more often

KookieMonster: uh oh guys

KookieMonster: he got a taste of hkps

KookieMonster: theres no going back now

Thaibaby: he hath truly becometh part of the group.

EarlyBird: i feel like i was baptised or something

Lostboy: as you should be.

Chapter End Notes

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

And they lived happily ever after with lots of HKPS. The end.
Happy Easter to everyone who celebrates it!
 Of Quarantine and Bars
Chapter Summary

In which, they break quarantine rules.

DISCLAIMER: Dispatch sucks. The boys did not technically do anything wrong but
this is my cracky humorous take on the situation and I just mostly wanted to highlight
Yugyeom and Bambam.

I personally found the situation funny as hell.

Chapter Notes

KookieMonster: Jungkook
Greekgod: Jaehyun
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
EarlyBird: Eunwoo
Lostboy: The8
Megaphone: DK
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

EiffelPuppy: IM

EiffelPuppy: BORED

EiffelPuppy: QUARANTINE IS BORING

Greekgod: same

EarlyBird: same

KookieMonster: ????

KookieMonster: you both literally have comebacks happening

KookieMonster: how the fuck are you bored

Greekgod: is not the same

EarlyBird: yes

KookieMonster: okay true

EiffelPuppy: also i miss you guys :((

EarlyBird: miss you too :(

KookieMonster: me too

Greekgod: Ditto

KookieMonster: SAY IT BACK BITCH

Greekgod: FINE

Greekgod: miss you guys too :(

EarlyBird: where are the rest?

EiffelPuppy: seok and ming are f*cking

EarlyBird: why the *

EiffelPuppy: there are kids here

KookieMonster: WHO

EiffelPuppy: yug

Greekgod: valid

EarlyBird: yeah well yug's not here

Greekgod: where are yug and bam tho

EarlyBird: performing something idk man

EarlyBird: i texted them and all them replied with was a voice note of them shouting
EAAASSSYYYYYYYYYYYY

EiffelPuppy: guys.....

EiffelPuppy: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Greekgod: no

KookieMonster: mingyu whatever you're thinking of

KookieMonster: no

EiffelPuppy: wanna go to...

EiffelPuppy: itaewon ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Earlybird: are you

EiffelPuppy: a genius? I know

EarlyBird: deranged.

EarlyBird: Are you deranged

EiffelPuppy: :(

EarlyBird: jaehyun? Kook? Why arent you saying anything?

KookieMonster: am kinda vibing with dis doe...

Greekgod: SM is gonna kill me if we get found out

EiffelPuppy: cmon guysssss! Kook back me up here

KookieMonster: like what are yall scared of? Yall got mrs. Rona?

Greekgod: mrs rona?

KookieMonster: the co to the rona. Rona & co.

EarlyBird: kook.

KookieMonster: corona

Greekgod: i don't have corona

EarlyBird: me neither but that doesnt mean we should go

Greekgod: true

EiffelPuppy: BUT I MISS YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

EarlyBird: MINGYU

Greekgod: we're gonna regret this...

EiffelPuppy: WE NEED TO HANG OUT :(((((((( cmon no one will know and i dont have
coronaaa

KookieMonster: we wont get it either i promise you ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

EarlyBird: guys.

Greekgod: ...honestly i need a break

EarlyBird: JAEHYUN

Greekgod: im in
EiffelPuppy: JAEHYUN YESSSSSS

EiffelPuppy: now attack eunwoo with love

EiffelPuppy: ♡♡♡♡♡♡EUNWOOOOOOOOOOO♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

KookieMonster: EUNWOO PPSLSLSLSL♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡WE LOVE YOU

YOURE THE CHERRY TO MY PANCAKE

EarlyBird: thats not.. the terminology....

Greekgod: we miss you eunwoo :( youre making us sad

EarlyBird: don't say thatttttt

KookieMonster: :(((((((((((

EiffelPuppy: :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

EarlyBird: STOP IM COMING

KookieMonster: YAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

EiffelPuppy: LETS GOOOOO

Thaibaby: WAIT WAIT WAIT

Thaibaby: WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING

Megaphone: WHO'S GOING WHERE NOW

HitTheYug: HOW THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU AND MINGHAO STOP MINGYU

Lostboy: WE WERE BUSY WITH THINGS

HitTheYug: BUSY FUCKING YOU HORNDOGS

Thaibaby: oh my god

Thaibaby: im gonna have a heart attack

Megaphone: even you and yug didn't do this holy shit

HitTheYug: what the fuck is that supposed to mean

Lostboy: yall know exactly what he means

Thaibaby: jyps being extra strict

Thaibaby: so cant deny

Lostboy: HA

HitTheYug: BAM

Thaibaby: you know its true babe

Megaphone: seriously

Megaphone: they're gonna be okay and behave right?

HitTheYug: Its jaehyun and eunwoo

HitTheYug: theyll keep the other two in check

KookieMonster: [image]

KookieMonster: [video]

Greekgod: WE'RE FIIIUINE

EarlyBird: SUPREERRRR

EiffelPuppy: ANSZINGGHGG

KookieMonster: LETD GET MORR DRIVNKS

Lostboy: NO NO GET BACK HERE

EiffelPuppy: BYWEEWWEWW

HitTheYug: well fuck.

Megaphone: oh fuck me

Thaibaby: we gotta pick them up

Thaibaby: yug lets pick them up

Lostboy: youd be doing the whole world a favor

HitTheYug: im out the door come on

Leaders Groupchat:

JB: Why the fuck did yug and bam rush out door in pyjamas shoes half on screaming something
about "FUCKING IDIOTS" for the past half an hour?

Seungcheol: uh what

Taeyong: tf
Namjoon: no clue???

JinJin: uh...

97-Liners Groupchat

Lostboy: @Thaibaby @HitTheYug updates???

Thaibaby: we have four screaming manchildren in the back of our car

Thaibaby: THEY WONT STOP

Thaibaby: SCREAMING

Megaphone: just thinking about this is giving me a headache

Thaibaby: yug has one and he shouldnt because hes driving

Lostboy: how are you getting past the police?

Thaibaby: we covered them up and the windows are tinted and i get to yell at them whenever i see
an approaching officer

Megaphone: how mad do you think the hyungs are gonna be

Lostboy: absolutely livid

Megaphone: fair

Leaders Groupchat

Taeyong: just to be on the same page

Taeyong: what kinda punishment are we thinking

Seungcheol: ive already prohibited sex for an entire month

JinJin: big ouch

Namjoon: very necessary ouch tho

JinJin: true

JB: i still can't believe my boys were the behaved ones

Namjoon: trust me i can't either

Taeyong: same

Seungcheol: same
JinJin: same

JinJin: no offence tho hyung

JB: none taken I agree

JB: i'll get them tested then reward them

Seungcheol: you do that and thank them on our behalf

JB: will do

97-Liners Groupchat

EiffelPuppy: we weren't that drunk yesterday...

Megaphone: EXCUSE ME

Megaphone: YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TALK YOU IMBECILE

Greekgod: can you spare us the lecture our hyungs did more than enough

Thaibaby: fuck no.

HitTheYug: WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU FOUR THINKING

KookieMonster: we just... wanted to hang??

Lostboy: IN FUCKING QUARANTINE

EarlyBird: they warped me into this

Thaibaby: AND YOU WENT

Megaphone: you should be grateful the press didn't find out

HitTheYug: honestly I consider jaehyun and eunwoo to have the braincells of the group

HitTheYug: APPARENTLY NOT

Greekgod: LISTEN

Lostboy: NO

Lostboy: YOU LISTEN

Lostboy: YOU HAVE 0 EXCUSES

Greekgod: sorry..

Thaibaby: you four are getting tested

EarlyBird: hyungs are taking us today

Thaibaby: good

Thaibaby: fucktards

EiffelPuppy: bammie stopppp

EiffelPuppy: we're very sorryyyy

HitTheYug: you should be you screaming banshees

HitTheYug: how the fuck did you four not tear out your vocal cords after last night

KookieMonster: we're vocalists for a reason ;)

Megaphone: jeon jungkook...

Megaphone: i'm this close to blowing up

EiffelPuppy: (please shut up for my sake i'm scared)

KookieMonster: (hang in there buddy)

Lostboy: you four apologize to yug and bam for what you did yesterday

Lostboy: Now.

EarlyBird: We are terribly sorry for our misbehavior yesterday and the ruckus we have caused
you and we thank you for taking care of us

KookieMonster: ditto

Greekgod: ditto

EiffelPuppy: ditto

Thaibaby: meh good enough

HitTheYug: ill take what i can get

EiffelPuppy: love youuuuuuu

Megaphone: yeah shut up

EarlyBird: love youuuuuuu

Thaibaby: stop

KookieMonster: love youuuuuuu

HitTheYug: noooo

Greekgod: love youuuuuuu

Lostboy: fine we love you too

KookieMonster: :DDDDD

*1 Week Later*

97-Liners Groupchat

KookieMonster: GUYS

KookieMonster: [image]

EiffelPuppy: WHAT THE FUCK

EiffelPuppy: HOW DID DISPATCH KNOW

EarlyBird: I DON'T KNOW??

Greekgod: fuck

KookieMonster: WHAT DO WE DO

HitTheYug: JUST SAY YOU DEEPLY REGRET IT OR SOMETHING

EiffelPuppy: RIGHT

Thaibaby: AND THAT YOURE LIKE SORRY OR WHATEVER

Greekgod: management's gonna be pissed

EarlyBird: well

EarlyBird: it was nice knowing you guys

Greekgod: for what it's worth

Greekgod: the outing we had

EiffelPuppy: was worth it?

Greekgod: so not worth it fuck you

KookieMonster: bitch we have screenshots

KookieMonster: you were totally on board

Greekgod: goddamit

Leaders Groupchat

Namjoon: why

Namjoon: do we
 Namjoon: never

Namjoon: get a break with these boys

Taeyong: tell me about it

JB: well you sound tired

Seungcheol: you know what sounds good

Seungcheol: wine

JinJin: drink the whole bottle hyung

JinJin: you need it

Seungcheol: way ahead of you babe

Namjoon: Excuse me while I crack a bottle myself and stop jin from cracking his skull against the
wall

Taeyong: good call

Taeyong: i think doyoung's about to strangle jaehyun

JB: remember guys

JB: murder is illegal

Seungcheol: right

JinJin: yeah yeah

Chapter End Notes

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

Y'ALL

Why the fuck are they such dumbfucks omg

When I saw this I couldn't resist writing this

Also first part (with all the hearts and shit) is written by my sister because she was
even more excited about this than I was lmaooo so don't be alarmed by the sudden
style change
 Of Attacks and Airports
Chapter Summary

"Looooove this fic could you possibly do a thing on someone gets a panic attack and
they have to help him through it???"

"Also can I make a request? You've probably heard about mingyu getting upset at
jakarta airport so I was wondering if you could write something about that."

Chapter Notes

Greekgod: Jaehyun
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Lostboy: The8
Megaphone: DK
EarlyBird: Eunwoo
KookieMonster: Jungkook
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom

Disclaimer!!
I have never experienced a panic attack so I apologize for any inaccuracies!

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

Thaibaby: I LIKE

Thaibaby: BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE

Thaibaby: ALL YOU OTHER BROS CANT DENY

Thaibaby: WHEN A GIRL WALKS IN WITH AN ITTY BITTY WAIST AND A BIG BUT IN
YOUR FACE

Greekgod: shut up gay boy

Thaibaby: :(

Thaibaby: you cant even jam to a song in peace

Thaibaby: smh my head

KookieMonster: yug come get this guy

HitTheYug: gotcha imma destroy his ass

EarlyBird: i think the correct term is come collect ya mans

KookieMonster: thanks eunwoo

EarlyBird: omg

KookieMonster: ??

EarlyBird: YOU DIDN'T CALL ME NEWBIE

Greekgod: shut up newbie

KookieMonster: shut up newbie

HitTheYug: shut up newbie

Thaibaby: shut up newbie

EarlyBird: hey!! Not fair.

EarlyBird: jaehyun why do keep telling people to shut up

Greekgod: I made cupcakes!

Greekgod: And!

Greekgod: My members!

Greekgod: Refused to eat them!

HitTheYug: rude

Greekgod: exactly!

HitTheYug: what did you do to them

Greekgod: excuse me??

Greekgod: What are these false accusations Kim Yugyeom???

HitTheYug: what did you do to them

Greekgod: yug pls

Greekgod: look at them!

Greekgod: [image]

Thaibaby: UWU :>

KookieMonster: bam fr

Thaibaby: shut up i fuck your bitch

KookieMonster: BAM

KookieMonster: YUG TAKE HIM

HitTheYug: newbie pls find out what jaehyun put in the cupcakes

EarlyBird: oh he probably put salt instead of sugar

Greekgod: EUNWOO NO

HitTheYug: yikes?? How do you know??

EarlyBird: he did it to me before

Greekgod: B e t r a y a l.

Greekgod: My Members Were Being Assholes So I Wanted Them To Eat These And They
Refused.

Greekgod: What Do I Do.

KookieMonster: OOO I GOT YOU

KookieMonster: send them to a certain... 13 membered... group... :D

KookieMonster: as a... welcome back gift :)

EarlyBird: are you still pissed that they beat you and jaehyun in bowling

KookieMonster: yes

Greekgod: you're a genius

Greekgod: where are they btw

EarlyBird: they went to indonesia dummy

Greekgod: ohh right

Greekgod: guess I'll freeze these

KookieMonster: ewwwww!

KookieMonster: i mean

KookieMonster: amazing idea.

EiffelPuppy: help
EiffelPuppy: me

EiffelPuppy: cant find anyone

EiffelPuppy: am

EiffelPuppy: lost

KookieMonster: oh shit

EarlyBird: mingyu?

EarlyBird: you okay?

Greekgod: gyu what's happening?

EiffelPuppy: dont knoweww

Thaibaby: gyu sweetheart

Thaibaby: can you tell us what happened?

EiffelPuppy: airport

HitTheYug: what happened at the airport?

EiffelPuppy: sasaebgs

EiffelPuppy: ataccksns

KookieMonster: where are the rest of the members gyu?

KookieMonster: seungcheol hyung?

EiffelPuppy: lost

EiffelPuppy: dondjst knworw

EiffelPuppy: canstt breagthean

Greekgod: fuck he sounds like he's having a panic attack

Thaibaby: no no no no

Thaibaby: gyu you have to breathe

Thaibaby: can you do that?

EiffelPuppy: hkelps

EarlyBird: fucking hell

EarlyBird: gyu I'm gonna call you

EarlyBird: try to pick up

HitTheYug: fucking hell

HitTheYug: how the fuck did this happen

Greekgod: probably got swarmed at the airport again

Thaibaby: but what about thr body guards?!

Thaibaby: how the fuck does a member get separated like that?!

KookieMonster: calm down we'll find out

KookieMonster: it defo got out of hand

Greekgod: let's just hope eunwoo will be able to get him to focus again or he'll pass out

Thaibaby: this is bullshit

EarlyBird: okay I calmed him down enough

Thaibaby: WHAT HAPPENED

Thaibaby: WHERE ARE THE REST

Thaibaby: WHERE ARE THE MANAGERS

Greekgod: what he means is

Greekgod: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED

HitTheYug: alternatively

HitTheYug: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED

KookieMonster: eunwoo just spill

EarlyBird: your usual airport scene except it escalated massively

EarlyBird: several sasaengs basically teamed up and eventually the members were basically
wrestling with them

EarlyBird: the bodyguards were doing their best without harming anyone but somehow Mingyu
got separated from the rest and was almost trampled by the stampede of fans

EarlyBird: by some miracle he managed to find a secluded area and tried to call his managers and
members but of course they were busy running for their lives

EarlyBird: so he texted us

KookieMonster: fuck is he okay?

HitTheYug: is he hurt?

EarlyBird: i managed to make him breathe properly again and calm down

EarlyBird: you know due to experience

EarlyBird: and I stayed with him on the phone until eventually one of the managers contacted him
and got him out

Thaibaby: oh thank fuck

Thaibaby: I was about to have a panic attack

Greekgod: please don't

Greekgod: gyu was traumatizing enough

HitTheYug: poor gyu :(

KookieMonster: :(

Megaphone: hi everyone

HitTheYug: SEOK

Greekgod: for the love of god please tell us everything is okay

Megaphone: everything's okay

KookieMonster: dont lie to us seok we can take it

Thaibaby: (no we cant)

KookieMonster: (shut the fuck up)

Megaphone: no really

Megaphone: we're all finally safe in the hotel

Megaphone: gyu's a bit traumatized so he's resting

Megaphone: ming's with him

Megaphone: but I thought I'd let you guys know

EarlyBird: you did good

Megaphone: yeah

Megaphone: also thanks for helping him when we couldn't

Megaphone: I'm sure he'll want to thank you guys personally but I thought I'd let you know how
grateful the rest of the members and I are

HitTheYug: you dont have to be so formal seoki

HitTheYug: we'd do anything for you guys!!

EarlyBird: of course!!

Greekgod: you're probably tired too so go rest

Megaphone: yeah

Megaphone: we'll talk to you guys later

Thaibaby: take your time :(

EiffelPuppy: hi guys

Thaibaby: GYUUUUUUUUU

KookieMonster: MINGYU BABY

HitTheYug: MINGYUUU

Greekgod: tell us exacy how you're feeling right now.

EiffelPuppy: i'm okay!

EiffelPuppy: it was traumatizing not gonna lie but thanks for being there for me

EiffelPuppy: and @EarlyBird if you didn't call I probably would've passed out

EarlyBird: please don't say that

EarlyBird: i just did what anyone one of us would have

EiffelPuppy: honestly if you guys didn't answer either I have no idea what would've happened to
me

Lostboy: lets not think about that

Lostboy: we barely recovered after finding out you were lost

Megaphone: exactly

EiffelPuppy: I'm sorry

Megaphone: it's not your fault baby

Lostboy: never

Thaibaby: goddamn you three why the fuck do you insist on making us cry
 HitTheYug: there there babe

Thaibaby: YOURE CRYING TOO

HitTheYug: SHUT UP

Greekgod: @Megaphone @Lostboy @EiffelPuppy atleast tell us they're tightening security?

Megaphone: for sure

Greekgod: good

KookieMonster: thats great and all but i cant stop thinking about one thing

Megaphone: ??

KookieMonster: @EarlyBird how big your phone bill is gonna be

EarlyBird: oh fuck

EarlyBird: fucking hell

HitTheYug: now thats a big yikes

Lostboy: no kidding

EarlyBird: THE THINGS I DO FOR YOU KIM MINGYU

EiffelPuppy: SHUT UP YOU LOVE ME

EarlyBird: sigh

EarlyBird: yeah I do

HitTheYug: FOR FUCKS SAKE STOP IT WITH THE LOVEY DOVEY FEELINGS SHIT
ALREADY

Thaibaby: im crying

KookieMonster: WE KNOW

Greekgod: also @Megaphone @Lostboy @EiffelPuppy when are you guys gonna be back in
korea?

Lostboy: uhh in like a week why?

KookieMonster: NO REASON

Greekgod: no reason at all

EiffelPuppy: uh huh....

Chapter End Notes

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

Damn I wa actually kinda dreading this chapter I don't know why.

Anyways, curiosity killed the cat but I was wondering: any likes or dislikes about this
book?

First bit also written by my sister so do not be alarmed yet again :)

 Of Bowels and Murder
Chapter Summary

"Can I request a chapter on why Winwin isn’t in the group chat? I know in reality that
he isn’t but if you had an interesting idea for this I’d love to read it."

TheLairofFauxtaire requested a long time ago: "I’d fucking die to see Winwin in the
group crying over the fact that he can’t decide if he wants to fuck everyone in WayV
or murder them slowly. Like the mere idea of this chaos god group having to put up
with a whiny baby who doesn’t know how to manage his feelings for EVEN MORE
boyfriends?"

Chapter Notes

EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Megaphone: DK
Lostboy: The8
EarlyBird: Eunwoo
Greekgod: Jaehyun
KookieMonster: Jungkook
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: you guys

Greekgod: i need advice

Lostboy: you hollow out your cheeks to let more dick in

Thaibaby: i thought we went over this?

Greekgod: NOT ABOUT DICK YOU FUCKERS

Greekgod: CAN YOU GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER FOR 2 SECONDS

Lostboy: thats two seconds of not sucking dick

Greekgod: @Megaphone @EiffelPuppy take minghao and his oral fixation out of here.
EiffelPuppy: alright alright

EiffelPuppy: ming behave

Lostboy: FINE

Megaphone: have a lollipop

Lostboy: oo do we have any!

Megaphone: i'll get you one baby

Greekgod: can we go back to my request now

Megaphone: yes we've sated him for now

EarlyBird: go ahead baby

Greekgod: finally

Greekgod: anyways

Greekgod: winwin's been acting weird

KookieMonster: weird how?

Greekgod: I don't know

Greekgod: he's being shy

HitTheYug: winwin is shy tho

Greekgod: shyer than usual

Greekgod: and he looks like he's constipated all the time

Megaphone: wrong bowel movements?

KookieMonster: i dont think it has to do with his bowel movements dumbass

Megaphone: hey you never know

Thaibaby: true tho

Greekgod: can we stop getting sidetracked

Greekgod: again

EarlyBird: yes yes let's go back to the subject

Greekgod: really why is eunwoo the only one taking this seriously

EarlyBird: because I smell drama and I'm dying to know

Greekgod: this is why you're the best one

KookieMonster: jae now you're getting sidetracked

Greekgod: FUCK'S SAKE

Greekgod: ANYWAYS

Greekgod: in conclusion: winwin is super shy, looks constipated, and can't for the life of him look
at any of us in the eye

Greekgod: what do

EiffelPuppy: add him in here we'll crack him in no time

HitTheYug: omg please do

Greekgod: good idea

Lostboy: ight boys its time we crack this fucker into pieces.

Greekgod: Be.

Greekgod: Gentle.

Greekgod: or mark my words i will murder you.

[Greekgod has added WinWin into the groupchat]

WinWin: um..

WinWin: what is this?

Megaphone: Dong Sicheng you have 30 seconds to state your name, age, and why the fuck you
look like you're having wrong bowel movements for the past week.

Greekgod: GODDAMN YOU I SAID BE GENTLE

Thaibaby: THIS IS GENTLE

Greekgod: THIS IS GENTLE?!

Lostboy: YES

WinWin: wrong bowel movements?

HitTheYug: basically you look constipated

WinWin: ah

Greekgod: for fuck's sake

EarlyBird: we as a group have joined forces to analyze what the fuck is wrong with you
KookieMonster: also remind me again why the fuck you arent in this group?

WinWin: I have to deal with 20 other members and 3 different groups and that's already giving me
grey hairs

WinWin: I do not want to deal with you guys too.

HitTheYug: harsh

HitTheYug: but valid

WinWin: no offence tho ily guys

Lostboy: none taken babe

Greekgod: this is not going as planned

EiffelPuppy: back to the main point

EiffelPuppy: what the fuck is wrong with you

WinWin: nothing what the fuck's wrong with you?

EarlyBird: ignoring that and jaehyun

Greekgod: i hate you all

EarlyBird: we are here to help :(

EarlyBird: are your schedules tiring you?

WinWin: no

EarlyBird: is jaehyun being an ass to you

KookieMonster: i will kick his ass

HitTheYug: i'll drive kook to your dorm to kick his ass

WinWin: no no he's fine

EarlyBird: is it wayv

WinWin: NO

EarlyBird: it's wayv.

Lostboy: its wayv.

HitTheYug: its wayv.

Greekgod: it's wayv.

WinWin: OKAY FINE ITS WAYV

EarlyBird: knew it.

Thaibaby: so we've identified the source

Thaibaby: now the problem

WinWin: oh god

WinWin: okay fine might as well take some advice

WinWin: basically

WinWin: I can't decide whether I wanna murder or fuck WayV.

Greekgod: THAT'S IT?

WinWin: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT'S IT

Greekgod: YOU'VE BEEN ACTING SUPER WEIRD THIS PAST WEEK FOR THAT?

WinWin: well

WinWin: I feel kinda guilty?

Lostboy: now why is that

WinWin: because I already have boyfriends and I'm trying to decide whether or not fuck wayv

WinWin: isn't it kinda greedy?

HitTheYug: because having 929283820 other boyfriends already isnt greedy

HitTheYug: whats four more gonna change

KookieMonster: besides youre already balls deep into lucas and ten

Greekgod: MY GOD DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING CRUDE

Lostboy: and im pretty sure kun isnt a dumbfuck

Greekgod: oh yeah sure just ignore me

WinWin: i mean fair point

Thaibaby: sit them down talk to them then you can have HKPS

WinWin: HKPS?

EarlyBird: here we go again

EiffelPuppy: hot

KookieMonster: kinky
Megaphone: passionate

HitTheYug: sex!

WinWin: so that's what it stands for

Lostboy: yes now you know and will not tell anyone outside this group

HitTheYug: think of it as returning the favor for our advice

WinWin: lips sealed

Greekgod: why is everything about sex in this group...

EarlyBird: good

WinWin: Alright I'll do that now

WinWin: I'm sure jae will keep you guys updated

WinWin: thanks guys!

KookieMonster: anytime sunshine

[WinWin has left the groupchat]

EarlyBird: that went well

NCT Groupchat

Johnny: @Jaehyun

Johnny: for the love of god please explain why WinWin just ran out of the studio screaming
"TIME FOR HKPS"

Johnny: we know that you had something to do with it

Jaehyun: trust me

Jaehyun: i had absolutely nothing to do with it

Yuta: we do not.

97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: you'll be pleased to know

Greekgod: WinWin figured his shit out

EiffelPuppy: thank god

 EarlyBird: honestly we were hoping things work out for your sake not his

Greekgod: why me

HitTheYug: you were on the verge of a mental breakdown bro

Greekgod: what

Lostboy: deadass tho

Thaibaby: anyways did they have hkps?

Greekgod: nah not yet

KookieMonster: dont tell me its another eunwoo case

EarlyBird: the fuck you mean

Megaphone: you know exactly what he means

Greekgod: nah sicheng might be a little shit but he doesn't have the willpower to hold out

HitTheYug: damn thats rough

Greekgod: super useful in bed tho

EarlyBird: poor sicheng

Greekgod: :)

Lostboy: that smile looks fucking freaky not gonna lie

Chapter End Notes

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

I'm spoiling you guys.

So you guys shed light on a certain issue last chapter and I'll be working on that.

Other than that, sooo guys any hobbies? I'm curious to know!
 Of Skirts and Sabotage
Chapter Summary

AnonymousWeirdo asked a LONG time ago: "can you do something bambam centric
pleaseee x"

Chapter Notes

EarlyBird: Eunwoo
KookieMonster: Jungkook
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
Greekgod: Jaehyun
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Megaphone: DK
Lostboy: The8

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

Megaphone: [Image]

Megaphone: @Greekgod why the fuck does everyone in NCT127 look so fucking hot

Greekgod: well why does everyone in seventeen look so hot ;)

Megaphone: 23some? ;)

Greekgod: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Lostboy: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

KookieMonster: guys please stop

Megaphone: ??

Megaphone: You're one to talk

KookieMonster: stop talking and EXCLUDING THE REST

KookieMonster: WE WANT TO JOIN TOO??

HitTheYug: peridot

EiffelPuppy: get off stan twitter

EarlyBird: hoes mad

EiffelPuppy: eunwoo too???

EarlyBird: sorry bam's been teaching me

KookieMonster: SPEAKING OF BAM

KookieMonster: I FOUND THIS GORGEOUS SKIRT

KookieMonster: wheres bam

HitTheYug: i honestly dk

Lostboy: it shows that hes reading the texts tho?

KookieMonster: well... anyway

KookieMonster: [image]

KookieMonster: WOULDNT IT LOOK GORGEOUS ON BAMMIE

Thaibaby: no

HitTheYug: babe what do you mean

HitTheYug: its literally your style

HitTheYug: youd look amazing

Thaibaby: no I wouldnt

Thaibaby: this is stupid

EarlyBird: bam what is?

Megaphone: i'm confused?

Greekgod: he left??

KookieMonster: did I do something wrong?

KookieMonster: im sorry i geniunely thought it was cute :(

Lostboy: no no

Lostboy: we thought so too babe

HitTheYug: i have no idea what happened but he looked a bit down a few hours
HitTheYug: ill go see and come back

KookieMonster: :(

HitTheYug: well

HitTheYug: we fought

HitTheYug: and he wouldnt confess what was bothering him

Greekgod: goddamit

Greekgod: so we know for a fact something's bothering him

HitTheYug: yeah and he won't talk to me or my hyungs

EarlyBird: what do we do?

EiffelPuppy: kidnap him?

Megaphone: babe that's actually a great idea

EiffelPuppy: wait i was just kidding

Lostboy: no no we kidnap him and take him to kooks studio

KookieMonster: im all for it

KookieMonster: already grabbing my car keys

Megaphone: ey kook pick us up

EiffelPuppy: i can't just leave woozi hyung and the studio!

Lostboy: we got this babe

Lostboy: we'll update you chill

KookieMonster: gotcha

KookieMonster: anyone else?

Greekgod: meetings :(

EarlyBird: packed schedule :(

HitTheYug: wait wait

HitTheYug: are you guys actually serious?

Megaphone: is his door locked?

HitTheYug: no the locks broken

KookieMonster: then im already out the door

KookieMonster: i wouldve kicked it down anyways

EarlyBird: sexy

Greekgod: indeed

Leaders Groupchat

JB: in case anyone is wondering

JB: jungkook minghao and seokmin just stormed into our dorm and kidnapped bambam with
yugyeom in tow

Seungcheol: so thats where they left

JB: should I be worried?

Namjoon: nah they've done worse

Taeyong: true

JinJin: true

Seungcheol: true

JB: true

97-Liners Groupchat

EarlyBird: well??

Lostboy: give us a second

Lostboy: we're trying to knock some sense into this fucker

EiffelPuppy: what the fuck is happening

Lostboy: you know what this is a group thing

HitTheYug: you wanna tell them what you just fucking told us bambam?

Thaibaby: im sorry that im damaging my groups by exploring more feminine aspects

Greekgod: what the fuck

EarlyBird: bambam what the hell?

Thaibaby: i get it
Thaibaby: its been sabotaging got7s success and i shouldnt do it anymore

EiffelPuppy: since when do you give a fuck about society's standards?

Thaibaby: I dont know

Greekgod: fuck society's standards

EarlyBird: nothing is "sabotaging got7's success" other than those people who claim to be "fans"
but then take any opportunity to bash you

KookieMonster: fucking tell him

HitTheYug: you have always been firm in what you believe in, said fuck you to society and have
been an absolute role model to many many people around the world

HitTheYug: whats stopping you now?

Thaibaby: i dont want to be a burden to you because of my choices

HitTheYug: if your choices harmed anyone in any way i doubt the hyungs would let you do them
especially jb hyung

HitTheYug: but guess what?

HitTheYug: we happen to love and support everything youve done so far

Greekgod: exactly what he said

Greekgod: the confidence you display while flaunting your style that has become so uniquely you
is amazing

Megaphone: i wish i can pull off even half of the things you can

Thaibaby: i

Thaibaby: didnt think of it that way

EiffelPuppy: of course

EiffelPuppy: otherwise we wouldn't be here

Thaibaby: um

Thaibaby: thank you

HitTheYug: thank you for knocking sense into my baby

Lostboy: [image]

Lostboy: HES BLUSHING

KookieMonster: now tell me bam

KookieMonster: wouldnt you look drop dead gorgeous in that skirt

Thaibaby: its very pretty

EarlyBird: damn right it is

HitTheYug: damn right you are

Megaphone: ugh get you a boyfriend like yug

Greekgod: seriously

HitTheYug: i think we should get you home and explain to the rest what happened

Thaibaby: yug please nooo

HitTheYug: yes.

KookieMonster: ight shows done here im driving everyone back

Lostboy: @HitTheYug @Thaibaby so?

HitTheYug: we good

Greekgod: details?

HitTheYug: i think bams face is permanently tinted red by now from all the compliments

EarlyBird: that's so sweet aww

HitTheYug: yeah...

HitTheYug: sweet...

EiffelPuppy: ooo

KookieMonster: kinky

EarlyBird: I should've fucking known

Megaphone: you really should have

Lostboy: also like side note

Lostboy: kook looked so hot carrying bam over his shoulder

Lostboy: he also had that angry worried look ugh

Lostboy: i wish i took a picture

EarlyBird: didn't you yell at me for not taking a picture last time kook and jae were mad?

Lostboy: yeah?
 EarlyBird: then @Megaphone @Lostboy @HitTheYug WHY THE FUCK HAVEN'T YOU
TAKEN PICTURE YOU DUMBFUCKS

EiffelPuppy: my boyfriends are DUMBFUCKS

HitTheYug: i was busy thirsting over the way bams legs were hanging over his shoulder

Greekgod: you're excused

Greekgod: @Megaphone @Lostboy YOU DUMBFUCKS

Megaphone: YOU'RE RIGHT WE'RE SORRY JEEZ

KookieMonster: again..

KookieMonster: what are you guys even on about...

EarlyBird: don't worry your pretty little head about it

EarlyBird: this is about THESE BITCHES

Lostboy: MY GOD

Chapter End Notes

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

I apologize for never including a proper bambam angst chapter :( I love this boy and
his antics and I absolutely love his style and fashion sense!!

How y'all twice stans doin

 Of Chemises and Eggs
Chapter Summary

"I was wondering if you could do a chapter on Yugyeom and Bambam? Basically
they're not talking to each other cuz of a fight but no one can figure out why they're
fighting including their hyungs"

Chapter Notes

Greekgod: Jaehyun
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
KookieMonster: Jungkook
EarlyBird: Eunwoo
Megaphone: DK
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Lostboy: The8

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Leaders Groupchat

JB: hey guys

JB: i need some help?

Seungcheol: shoot

Taeyong: what's wrong

JB: so like

JB: bam and yug are fighting??

JB: and none of my members can figure out why

JB: not to mention that they refuse to tell us

JB: and its kinda funny not gonna lie because they've taken to slamming doors in each others faces
even though they're currently sharing a room

JB: And i have the tiniest feeling it has to do with eggs?? because they stared way too intensely at
the boiled eggs in the ramen at lunch today
Namjoon: uh huh....

JB: anyways

JB: i have a feeling its something stupid so can y'all ask the 97 liners if they know anything about
it

JinJin: now i getchu hyung

Namjoon: sure thing

Taeyong: will do

Seungcheol: ight we'll be back

97-Liners Groupchat

Lostboy: [image]

Lostboy: [image]

Lostboy: guys which chemise looks better

EiffelPuppy: both look gorgeous on you baby

Megaphone: you look amazing in both darling

Lostboy: this is why I didnt ask on the svt group

Lostboy: you guys never give me a direct answer

Megaphone: not our fault you look stunning in everything

EiffelPuppy: and fuckable!

Lostboy: MY GOD

Lostboy: Anyone else please??

Lostboy: @Thaibaby @KookieMonster @Greekgod @EarlyBird @HitTheYug

Lostboy: ignore my horny boyfriends

Greekgod: I'm busy ignoring my horny boyfriends

EarlyBird: oo same but i personally prefer the white one

EarlyBird: your collarbones look amazing

KookieMonster: i like the green one

KookieMonster: the back lacing looks great

Lostboy: good points

Lostboy: anyone else?

Thaibaby: the white one looks good

HitTheYug: ignore him go for the green one

Thaibaby: no please ignore him he has no fashion sense

HitTheYug: YOU JUST LIKE THE WHITE ONE BC ITS THE COLOR OF EGGS

Thaibaby: NO YOU FUCKER

Thaibaby: YOU JUST WANNA DISAGREE WITH ME EVEN THOUGH IM RIGHT

HitTheYug: FIRST YOU TELL ME IM WRONG

HitTheYug: NOW YOU TELL ME I HAVE NO FASHION SENSE

HitTheYug: COME AT ME BITCHASS

Thaibaby: IF YOU OPEN THAT DOOR I WILL

HitTheYug: WATCH ME

EarlyBird: ....

EarlyBird: what just happened?

Lostboy: i just wanted opinions on which one I should get...

Greekgod: yeah uh

Megaphone: i blinked????

Megaphone: and this happened??

KookieMonster: what the fuck

EiffelPuppy: ight first

EiffelPuppy: babe get both and get done with it

EiffelPuppy: second

EiffelPuppy: we should do something about this no?

EarlyBird: probably

EiffelPuppy: will we tho?

Megaphone: no
EarlyBird: yes

Lostboy: yes

KookieMonster: yes

Greekgod: gyu seok what the fuck

Megaphone: i mean yes

EiffelPuppy: sorry all my mind is screaming is "MINGHAO SEXY COLLARBONES"

Megaphone: yeah same

Lostboy: ignore my horny boyfriends.

Lostboy: and im not coming home until we figure out whats up

Megaphone: MING PLEASE

EiffelPuppy: WE'LL BEHAVE

Lostboy: NO

Lostboy: I KNOW YOU

EarlyBird: freaky shit gonna happen at the svt dorms lemme tell you

Greekgod: no kidding

KookieMonster: you think the hyungs might know anything?

EarlyBird: we can ask

Greekgod: you think i can ask my horny boyfriends and actually get answers or will they jump me
like the two talking horndogs in here

KookieMonster: yeah good luck with that

Private chat: Jinwoo and Eunwoo

Jinwoo: so what's up with yugyeom and bambam?

Eunwoo: ???

Jinwoo: JB hyung sent these

Jinwoo: [image]

Jinwoo: [image]

Eunwoo: that makes so much fucking sense oh my god

Jinwoo: ??

Eunwoo: give me a second

97-Liners Groupchat

EarlyBird: [image]

EarlyBird: [image]

EarlyBird: [image]

EarlyBird: @Greekgod you don't have to ask your horny boyfriends

Lostboy: damn jinjin hyung right on time

Greekgod: too fucking late.

Greekgod: i went like "hey gu-" and got jumped

Greekgod: BUT

Greekgod: I ducked and ran away

Greekgod: so now I'm hiding in our dressing room please don't sell me out

Lostboy: your secrets safe with me thats for sure

KookieMonster: lips sealed babe

EarlyBird: secret's safe

EarlyBird: and that include you two @Megaphone @EiffelPuppy

EiffelPuppy: yeah okay whatever

Megaphone: what he said

KookieMonster: ANYWAYS

KookieMonster: back to the main point

KookieMonster: so bam and yug are fighting

Megaphone: most probably about something stupid

Greekgod: and it definitely has to do with eggs

EiffelPuppy: so by collecting all this info...

EiffelPuppy: anyone got any idea about what's going on?

EarlyBird: nope
Lostboy: not a single clue

KookieMonster: yeah me neither

Greekgod: we call them in and demand they tell us?

Megaphone: sounds good

EarlyBird: ight i'll text hyung

Lostboy: why not just call them?

KookieMonster: what makes you think their petty asses will answer?

Lostboy: touché

EiffelPuppy: wait what makes you think they'll answer jb hyung

Greekgod: we can threaten them with guacamole?

EiffelPuppy: OH DAMN

EarlyBird: hold up

EarlyBird: there's something here that i don't know

Megaphone: we'll tell you don't worry now do it

Private chat: Jinwoo and Eunwoo

Eunwoo: please tell jb hyung to tell yug and bam to go online and answer our group

Jinwoo: should I warn him about anything?

Eunwoo: not yet

Eunwoo: and tell him if they don't answer him just tell them we threaten them with guacamole

Jinwoo: gaucamole?

Eunwoo: just do it hyung

Jinwoo: hey what's in it for me

Eunwoo: ;)

Leaders Groupchat

JinJin: [image]

JB: guacamole?
JinJin: yeah i don't know either

JB: alright we'll see how it goes

JB: so i mentioned guacamole and the boys' faces blanched so hard i could barely differentiate
them from the wall behind them

Namjoon: yikes that sounds intense??

Taeyong: no kidding

Seungcheol: i dont wanna know

JinJin: aren't you curious?

Seungcheol: yeah no anything that makes these two gremlins pale that much means its a disaster

Seungcheol: im better off not knowinh

Taeyong: extremely fair point

97-Liners Groupchat

Thaibaby: WHAT DO YOU FUCKERS WANT

HitTheYug: DID YOU HAVE TO BRING UP THE GUAC INCIDENT

Greekgod: calm down we didn't spill any details

Greekgod: but we will if you two do not cooperate

Thaibaby: WE'RE BUSY

EiffelPuppy: YEAH WELL SO ARE WE

Megaphone: AND WE WOULD BE EACH DOING OUR OWN THING IF IT WEREN'T FOR
YOU TWO

Megaphone: NOW OH SO HELP ME YOU WILL TELL US ALL WHAT THE PROBLEM IS
OR YOU TWO WILL NOT BE FUCKING HAPPY

Lostboy: (all that to dick me down damn..)

KookieMonster: (sexy no?)

Lostboy: (very)

HitTheYug: FINE

HitTheYug: HE SAID THE EGG COMES BEFORE THE CHICKEN

EarlyBird: I'm sorry?

KookieMonster: he said what now

Thaibaby: THATS BECAUSE IT DOES YOU DUMBFUCK

HitTheYug: WHERE DOES THE EGG COME FROM HUH

HitTheYug: THE CHICKEN BECAUSE IT LAYS IT

Thaibaby: AND WHERE DOES THE CHICKEN COMES FROM?

Thaibaby: IT HATCHES FROM THE EGG

Thaibaby: AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION

Thaibaby: THE EGG DID COME FIRST BECAUSE IT WAS LAYED BY A PREVIOUS BIRD

HitTheYug: DO YOU NOT HEAR YOURSELF

HitTheYug: "IT WAS LAYED"

HitTheYug: SO THE CHICKEN DID COME FIRST

Thaibaby: are you

Thaibaby: actually fucking

Thaibaby: dumb

Greekgod: so this is what you've been fighting about and slamming doors for huh..

HitTheYug: jae please tell this idiot that hes wrong

Lostboy: and this is what sent your members and my members in a frenzy...

EiffelPuppy: this is fine

EiffelPuppy: yeah okay

KookieMonster: nah man

[KookieMonster kicked HitTheYug out of the group]

[KookieMonster kicked Thaibaby out of the group]

KookieMonster: i dont know about you guys but i aint dealing with this shit

Lostboy: yeah me neither

EiffelPuppy: good

EiffelPuppy: now @Lostboy come back to us

Greekgod: @EarlyBird tell jinwoo hyung to tell JB hyung to tell yug and bam that until they
resolve their "issue" they're not coming back in

EarlyBird: this has been just one big headache

Private chat: Jinwoo and Eunwoo

Eunwoo: please tell JB hyung to tell yug and bam that unless they get their shit together they're not
gonna be added back no matter how much they beg

Jinwoo: what the fuck just happened

Eunwoo: [image]

Eunwoo: [image]

Jinwoo: so all that for a chicken and an egg

Eunwoo: i have a headache

Jinwoo: I'll let hyung know and you come here baby

Eunwoo: coming :)

Leaders Groupchat

JinJin: [image]

JinJin: [image]

JinJin: [image]

JB: see I fucking knew it had something to do with eggs

Namjoon: well

Namjoon: that's just

Namjoon: random??

JB: meh not the first time

Seungcheol: what do you mean 'not the first time'

JB: its yugyeom and bambam

JB: tell me

JB: are you really surprised?

Taeyong: disappointed
Taeyong: but can't say surprised

Seungcheol: fair

JB: anyways they're probably crying at being kicked out rn

JinJin: and blocked!

JB: AND blocked????.

JinJin: according to dongmin yes

JB: watch them forget what they were fighting about in the first place now

Namjoon: anyone else read that in an extremely tired tone?

Taeyong: yup

Seungcheol: yup

JinJin: yup

JB: @JinJin tell eunwoo to tell the 97 liners to unblock the two babies and re-add them to the
group

JinJin: i feel like a damn parrot

97-Liners Groupchat

[EiffelPuppy has added Thaibaby into the groupchat]

[EiffelPuppy has added HitTheYug into the groupchat]

EiffelPuppy: now what do you two have to say for yourselves?

Thaibaby: we're sorry for misbehaving

Greekgod: and?

HitTheYug: we're sorry for being childish

KookieMonster: and?

Thaibaby: and petty

EarlyBird: and?

HitTheYug: and for arguing about a stupid thing

Megaphone: and??
 HitTheYug: and for preventing gyu and seok from dicking down ming

Lostboy: and????

Thaibaby: and for slamming doors

Greekgod: and???

Thaibaby: WE'VE SAID EVERYTHING GODDAMN YOU

KookieMonster: yeah i think thats about it

EiffelPuppy: great!

EiffelPuppy: so we can all go back to our lives now!

Lostboy: alright alright im coming

Megaphone: :DDDDDD

EarlyBird: I'm gonna go get dicked down by JinJin hyyng

EarlyBird: he deserves a treat

KookieMonster: im gonna go find someone to dick me down

Greekgod: and I'm still avoiding everyone so see ya guys

Thaibaby: hey yug

Thaibaby: wanna go get dicked down by the hyungs?

HitTheYug: fuck yes

Leaders Groupchat

JinJin: @Taeyong

JinJin: eunwoo mingyu and seokmin tell you that jaehyun is currently hiding from all of you in
your dressing room

Taeyong: god bless the 97 liners

97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: ALRIGHT WHO SNITCHED

Chapter End Notes

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

Hope the 97-liners and their chaos made y'all smile :))
 Of Pressure and Guacamole
Chapter Summary

In which they explain the gauc incident.

Chapter Notes

Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
Greekgod: Jaehyun
EarlyBird: Eunwoo
KookieMonster: Jungkook
Megaphone: DK
Lostboy: The8
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

EarlyBird: ight

EarlyBird: someone explain the gauc incident

EarlyBird: i can't just be left in the dark like that

Megaphone: OO YES

Megaphone: time to spill

Thaibaby: do we have to?

Greekgod: of course we do

HitTheYug: oh come on guys

KookieMonster: nope dongmin must know

KookieMonster: the deepest of secrets shall be revealed

Lostboy: oh yikes

Lostboy: seriously do we have to :(

Lostboy: he's just gonna remind ahjumma and she's gonna scold us all over again and then use it as
blackmail
EiffelPuppy: story time!

KookieMonster: listen i dont wanna be reminded but we must

EarlyBird: guys just spill already

Greekgod: oh alot of spilling happened trust me

EiffelPuppy: so it all started with this

EiffelPuppy: [image]

EarlyBird: is that

EarlyBird: bambam in a huge avocado?

Megaphone: yup

Thaibaby: hey my legs look great

HitTheYug: mm indeed they do

HitTheYug: those thighs yummy

Greekgod: you two stop trying to distract us from the story

Thaibaby: UGH FINE

Lostboy: good attempt guys

KookieMonster: (not really)

EarlyBird: @EiffelPuppy do continue

EiffelPuppy: yeah so anyways

EiffelPuppy: so ming and bam found this huge avocado and bought it

EiffelPuppy: but of course they didn't think it through

EarlyBird: y'all spent money on this???

EarlyBird: really?

Lostboy: ITS NOT EVERYDAY YOU SEE A HUMAN SIZED AVOCADO OKAY BIRD BOY

Thaibaby: YEAH SO CAN IT.

EarlyBird: I'm

EarlyBird: appalled??

Megaphone: calm the fuck down you two or else i'll be telling your hyungs you're throwing
tantrums
Thaibaby: oh thats low

Greekgod: not lower than how you sank for jinyoung hyungs dick

KookieMonster: holy fucking shit

Megaphone: someone snapped here

Thaibaby: MY GOD OKAY

EiffelPuppy: BACK TO THE STORY

EarlyBird: yes please

EiffelPuppy: so these 2 sent us the photo and asked us what to do

EiffelPuppy: and after a lot of thinking we decided to gift it to the café ahjumma bc it'd make a
mean guacamole

EarlyBird: yes

EiffelPuppy: so we did

EiffelPuppy: we went like "surprise!!"

EiffelPuppy: she seemed happy but I'm pretty sure she was dreading it

EiffelPuppy: and like obviously she can't deal with an avocado that big on her own right?

EarlyBird: right

EiffelPuppy: so we were like "hey let us do it!"

EarlyBird: you?!

Greekgod: yes us

Greekgod: Problem?

EarlyBird: none at all

KookieMonster: better be.

EiffelPuppy: she hesitated

EiffelPuppy: but then something went up that she needed to check so it was only us in the shop

EiffelPuppy: and we got to work

EiffelPuppy: it was fine for the first half an hour but we noticed that the avocado was way too
hard

EiffelPuppy: so then yugyeom suggested we cook it

EarlyBird: oh no

Lostboy: oh yes

EiffelPuppy: me jae and seok were like NO

EiffelPuppy: kook ming bam and yug were like YEA

EiffelPuppy: so they cut it up and put it in a pressure cooker

EarlyBird: A WHAT

EarlyBird: FUCK NO

EarlyBird: WHAT THE FUCK GUYS

HitTheYug: YEAH OKAY WE DIDNT KNOW SHUT UP

EarlyBird: I'm already getting a headache

EiffelPuppy: we cooked it for like 20 mins but the boys decided it wasn't cooking fast enough

EiffelPuppy: so they increased the heat

EiffelPuppy: and the pressure

EarlyBird: it exploded didn't it.

KookieMonster: BOOM

Megaphone: BOOM

EarlyBird: Boom?

Greekgod: Boom.

EiffelPuppy: have you ever seen a pressure cooker on the ceiling?

EarlyBird: I can't say I have

EiffelPuppy: [image]

EiffelPuppy: well now you have.

EarlyBird: what the fuck.

EarlyBird: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU BREAK A MARBLE COUNTER

Thaibaby: WE DONT KNOW OKAY

EarlyBird: holy shit the guacamole everywhere

EiffelPuppy: and that's not even the worst part

EarlyBird: there's WORSE?!

KookieMonster: unfortunately

EiffelPuppy: so the door of the kitchen was open

EarlyBird: uh huh..

EiffelPuppy: and there might have been a few kittens roaming around

EarlyBird: please don't tell me you guys killed a kitten with explosive guacamole

EarlyBird: please

EarlyBird: I beg you all

EarlyBird: I can't be best friends with animal murderers

Megaphone: killed?

Megaphone: Nah

Megaphone: severely dirtied and covered with avocado?

Megaphone: Yeah

KookieMonster: so youre saying you wont be friends with us if we're animal murderers but its
okay if we murdered people??

EarlyBird: duh

EarlyBird: flower crew? Creepy guy that molested yug? Jaes old bullies? Group members during
prank war?

EarlyBird: y'all telling me you haven't thought about murder once?

Greekgod: truly excellent points have been made

HitTheYug: yeah i get it

Megaphone: can't argue with that logic

EarlyBird: back to the story

EarlyBird: did ahjumma find out?

EiffelPuppy: what kind of stupid question is that

EiffelPuppy: of course she did

Greekgod: you can't exactly hide a broken ceiling oven and marble counter in 10 minutes

EiffelPuppy: and let's just say her reaction wasn't the prettiest
EiffelPuppy: we spent the entire night scrubbing the floor and walls from avocado

HitTheYug: i vowed to never eat another avocado or guacamole ever again

EarlyBird: is that why you never have gauc with your nachos

EarlyBird: I've always found that weird

HitTheYug: yep

HitTheYug: salsa for the win

EarlyBird: wait a second

EarlyBird: does salsa night have anything to do with this?

Lostboy: nah

EarlyBird: okay good

EarlyBird: and you all did pay for the damages right?

Greekgod: are you insinuating otherwise?

EarlyBird: yes

Greekgod: rude

Greekgod: but yes we fixed everything

EarlyBird: after digesting everything

EarlyBird: i have concluded that

EarlyBird: I won't be reminding ahjumma about what happened

Thaibaby: oh thank god

EarlyBird: I'm not doing this for you

EarlyBird: do we really need to give her another heart attack?

Megaphone: fair

EarlyBird: but I will keep this as blackmail

Lostboy: DELETE THE CONVERSATION

EarlyBird: TOO LATE ITS SCREENSHOTTED HAHA

HitTheYug: EUNWOOOOOOOOOO

EarlyBird: gotta keep them on their toes

 Greekgod: evil

Greekgod: but I like it

EiffelPuppy: and I thought I was the blackmail master

KookieMonster: lowkey scared but turned on

EarlyBird: flattered

EarlyBird: but taken

Thaibaby: EUNWOO PLEASE

EarlyBird: y'all hear sumthn?

Lostboy: CHA EUNWOO.

Chapter End Notes

And that's the explanation.

To everyone who has read this book, thank you for loving and supporting it. It means
alot to me. It was an outlet for me to release my cracky weird ideas and conversations
and it was fun seeing your reactions.

Do me a favor and try to share this book with anyone you think might enjoy it because
we could all use a pick-me-up.

Thank you all ❤

 Of Idiots and Closets
Chapter Summary

Based on popular request.

Pt. 1

Chapter Notes

EarlyBird: Eunwoo
Greekgod: Jaehyun
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Megaphone: DK
Lostboy: The8
KookieMonster: Jungkook

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat:

EiffelPuppy: So

HitTheYug: So.....?

KookieMonster: Uh

EarlyBird: um

Thaibaby: ...?

Lostboy: still waiting babe

Megaphone: seriously out with it

EiffelPuppy: so like

Greekgod: SPILL IT PALM TREE

EiffelPuppy: rude
EiffelPuppy: but like i was just wondering...

KookieMonster: gyu im this close to ramming you with my car

Megaphone: we'll hold him down for you if you'd like

KookieMonster: great thanks

EiffelPuppy: I WAS WONDERING ABOUT ASTRO OKAY

EarlyBird: what about my group....?

EiffelPuppy: you know what I'm talking about

EarlyBird: I really don't.....?

Thaibaby: OHHHHH

Thaibaby: YEAH WHATS UP WITH YOU GUYS

Lostboy: CAN YALL STOP BEING CRYPTIC AS FUCK AND FUCKING EXPLAIN WHATS
GOING ON

Lostboy: MY FUCKTARD OF A BOYFRIEND INCLUDED

EiffelPuppy: oh you're getting it tonight

Megaphone: Not if we get to you first.

Megaphone: I'd be very compliant if I were you, Kim Mingyu.

HitTheYug: oh shit

EarlyBird: gyu you're fucked

KookieMonster: rip in peace Kim Mingyu 1997-2021.

EiffelPuppy: I-

EiffelPuppy: Yes sir.

Thaibaby: LMAOOO WHIPPED

HitTheYug: PIPED DOWN REAL QUICK

Greekgod: KINKY DOM ALPHA SHIT OUT OF THE GROUP THIS INSTANT OR SO HELP
ME

Lostboy: youll get to dom someone jae dont worry

Greekgod: for the love of all things mighty

Greekgod: kook i might borrow your car and ram it into certain people
EarlyBird: CAN WE PLEASE STOP GETTING HORNY AND SIDETRACKED

EarlyBird: I GET THAT THIS GROUP THINKS WITH THEIR DICKS BUT LET'S USE THE
BRAINCELL

HitTheYug: youre horny too?

EarlyBird: YUG

Thaibaby: OKAY OKAY

Thaibaby: i want my boyfriend alive thanks

HitTheYug: whats up with the hormones today

KookieMonster: yug youre my bestfriend but you make it really hard to defend you

Thaibaby: i agree

Greekgod: its weird that bams being sensible rn

Thaibaby: you really wanna go bro?

Greekgod: is that a challenge?

Thaibaby: uh on second thought

HitTheYug: LETS FUCKING GO

KookieMonster: YUG

Thaibaby: really fucking hard to defend you babe

EarlyBird: CAN WE PLEASE FUCKING GET BACK TO THE POINT

Thaibaby: yeah so

Greekgod: wait anyone notice how silent the svt members are being

EarlyBird: they're fucking aren't they

KookieMonster: pretty sure they are

Thaibaby: 100000% betting gyus being wrecked rn

EarlyBird: i'm done

EarlyBird: call me when you truly need me otherwise i'm throwing you all into the han river

HitTheYug: well

HitTheYug: if theyre gonna have hkps then so am i

EarlyBird: YOU ALL THINK WITH YOUR DICKS

Greekgod: no shit

Greekgod: it's like you don't even know this group

EarlyBird: sincerely hate that you're fucking right

Lostboy: WE'RE BACK

Thaibaby: so are we

Thaibaby: @EarlyBird tired yug out for you

Thaibaby: youre welcome

HitTheYug: yes hello

KookieMonster: gyus alive?

Megaphone: he's fine

EiffelPuppy: BARELY

Greekgod: meh you're still typing

Greekgod: you're fine

EiffelPuppy: i feel the love

EarlyBird: now that everyone is back and satisfied i hope

HitTheYug: dont pretend you werent making out with minhyuk

EarlyBird: yug for fuck's sake please shut the fuck up

HitTheYug: and thats how you know im right

Lostboy: this ability of yours is fucking creepy lemme tell you that

HitTheYug: ;)

[EarlyBird has left the groupchat]

[KookieMonster has added EarlyBird into the group]

KookieMonster: dont even think about it newbie

EarlyBird: fuck you all

EiffelPuppy: alright alright let's get back to business

EiffelPuppy: jae we need army general mode on

Greekgod: oh this is serious serious

EiffelPuppy: CHA EUNWOO

EarlyBird: YES WHAT

EiffelPuppy: when the fuck are we getting astro together

Lostboy: OHHHHHH

KookieMonster: OH MY GOD YES

Greekgod: you're finally making sense

Megaphone: wow its been a while

EarlyBird: as soon as possible bc the tension is suffocating me

Thaibaby: sounds rough buddy

EarlyBird: don't get me started

EarlyBird: what's the plan

EiffelPuppy: absolutely no clue

EarlyBird: oh come on

Greekgod: alright step by step

Greekgod: SOLDIERS

Greekgod: BEHAVE

KookieMonster: YES SIR

Megaphone: YES SIR

HitTheYug: YES SIR

EiffelPuppy: YES SIR

Lostboy: YES SIR

Thaibaby: YES SIR

EarlyBird: oh thank god he's back in charge

KookieMonster: it's hot ;)

Greekgod: eunwoo give us a brief summary of the situation between your boyfriends

EarlyBird: whipped for each other but either

EarlyBird: a) won't acknowledge it

EarlyBird: b) too fucking dumb to realize it

Greekgod: and you believe it's which situation?

EarlyBird: depends on the member

Lostboy: LMAOOOOO VALID

Megaphone: FAIR

Greekgod: QUIET

Megaphone: sorry sir

Lostboy: apologies

Greekgod: eunwoo elaborate on who fits which categories

HitTheYug: jae youre so hot

KookieMonster: NOT NOW YUG

Greekgod: this close Kim Yugyeom

EiffelPuppy: y'all know for a fact someone's gonna get wrecked in the nct dorm

Greekgod: are you done?

EiffelPuppy: sorry sir.

EarlyBird: jinwoo hyung is definitely aware

EarlyBird: so is minhyuk

EarlyBird: I love mj hyung and moonbin but god bless them they're so fucking dumb

KookieMonster: disappointed but not surprised

Thaibaby: yo what about sanha

EarlyBird: absolutely no fucking clue

EarlyBird: you honestly think I know what goes on in that brain of his??

Lostboy: very valid

EarlyBird: for all I know he could be very aware but pretending to be dumb

Megaphone: well that sounds complicated

KookieMonster: no shit

Greekgod: ....
EiffelPuppy: okay if jae can't make up a plan you're fucked babe

EarlyBird: I'm already fucked thanks

HitTheYug: ATTA BOY

Megaphone: this is what a taste of hkps does to a man

Greekgod: I GOT IT

Greekgod: Cha Eunwoo you're going to get your slut on.

EarlyBird: uh....

KookieMonster: GENIUS

Lostboy: someone elaborate...?

EiffelPuppy: @Greekgod @KookieMonster you two with the freaky telepathic shit explain

Thaibaby: no kidding

KookieMonster: what jae meant is that eunwoo is gonna rile them up in front of each other and
then cockblock them

Greekgod: thank god someone has a brain in this group

Thaibaby: .....

Megaphone: how the fuck were you able to deduce that

EiffelPuppy: i did say freaky telepathic shit

HitTheYug: so basically theyd get so frustrated and boom hkps between each other?

Greekgod: exactly.

EarlyBird: I-

EarlyBird: But I'd be cockblocking myself as well?

Megaphone: you fucking postponed sex for weeks just for the hell of it

Megaphone: you'll be fine

HitTheYug: my god he truly is one of the group now

HitTheYug: DO IT FOR THE SEXIER GOOD

EarlyBird: pretty sure it's greater good

EiffelPuppy: listen this is even coming from yug

EiffelPuppy: and everyone knows he knows his shit when it comes to sex
EarlyBird: I'll do it

Greekgod: not like you had a choice anyways

EarlyBird: yeah shut up

Thaibaby: and if it really gets bad you can come to us baby ;)

EarlyBird: must you be suggestive

Thaibaby: always

EarlyBird: @HitTheYug make sure you guys rail him later on

HitTheYug: with you? ;)

EarlyBird: QUIET.

Private Chat: Jaehyun and Taeyong

Jaehyun: hyung please tell jb hyung that his 97 liners are horny and misbehaving

Taeyong: yikes will do

Taeyong: you sound serious

Jaehyun: we're planning something and cannot afford distractions

Taeyong: is it by any chance involving astro

Jaehyun: ....

Jaehyun: how the fuck?

Taeyong: ;)

Jaehyun: i'm highkey freaked out and very highkey turned on

Taeyong: back to work baby

Taeyong: oh and if you think me and leader hyungs aren't gonna be involved you've got another
thing coming

Jaehyun: god i love you

Leaders Groupchat:

Taeyong: @JB get jinyoung to rail bam and yug

JB: gotcha
JinJin: I'm amazed at how casually you guys talk about these things

Namjoon: when you've been through what we've been through you get used to it

Seungcheol: unfortunately

JinJin: do I wanna know?

Seungcheol: don't.

JB: Trust me you don't

JinJin: ...

GOT7 Groupchat

Jinyoung: @Bambam @Yugyeom you two better tone it down or you won't be happy

97-Liners Groupchat

Thaibaby: [image]

Thaibaby: WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKERS SNITCHED

HitTheYug: @EarlyBird IT WAS YOU YOU BASTARD WASNT IT

EarlyBird: don't look at me

Greekgod: it was me.

Greekgod: problem?

Thaibaby: uh no sir

HitTheYug: sorry sir

Lostboy: i dont know if im more scared of jinyoung hyung or jae

KookieMonster: no kidding

Greekgod: are you two gonna behave now?

HitTheYug: yes sir

Thaibaby: yes sir

EiffelPuppy: anyways back to the topic

EiffelPuppy: eunwoo how are we doing this

Greekgod: also leader hyungs are involved

Megaphone: what

Greekgod: [image]

Megaphone: how the fuck did he know

Greekgod: i don't fucking know

EiffelPuppy: one day i will call an exorcist on nct kook and yug mark my words

KookieMonster: the fuck did i do

Greekgod: the fuck did i do

Thaibaby: STOP IT

Lostboy: SERIOUSLY

EarlyBird: anyways if I'm thinking right I need a new wardrobe for me and the others

Thaibaby: i got you

Lostboy: so do i babe

KookieMonster: you're welcome any time

EarlyBird: kooks babe i love you but i need something that isn't a black hoodie or a white shirt

KookieMonster: obviously i'm offering jimin hyung's closet

EarlyBird: kind of you to offer me permission to not your closet

KookieMonster: anytime babe

BTS Groupchat

Jungkook: jiminie hyung

Jungkook: can eunwoo borrow your clothes to seduce astro and get them together?

Jimin: touch my prada and i will cut your dick and stuff it down your throat.

Jimin: but other than that he can borrow anything!!

Hoseok: youre so sexy

KookieMonster: why is everyone so fucking horny today

Taehyung: are you not?

KookieMonster: I AM BUT IM TRYING TO FOCUS

Yoongi: on what?
KookieMonster: getting astro together

Jin: fucking finally

Namjoon: about time honestly

KookieMonster: i know i know

97-Liners Groupchat

KookieMonster: [image]

HitTheYug: add jimin hyung to the list of people im deathly afraid of thanks

Lostboy: no kidding???

EarlyBird: anyways that's solved

Greekgod: leader hyungs are gonna make jinwoo hyung realize his shit bc trust me its gonna be
way easier

Thaibaby: huh actually yeah youre right

Thaibaby: jb and jinyoung hyungs did most of the work

KookieMonster: so did jin and namjoon hyungs

Megaphone: coups and jeonghan hyungs too actually

Greekgod: see a pattern?

EiffelPuppy: i love your brain

Thaibaby: one day the other parents will make a group and itll be over for us mark my words

Lostboy: WELL DONT MANIFEST IT DUMBFUCK

Thaibaby: SORRY

EarlyBird: okay phew that's one less person to worry about at least

HitTheYug: i love how we have complete faith in our hyungs

EarlyBird: listen they knocked some sense into jinjin hyung last time they can do it again

KookieMonster: true tho

Greekgod: I'll inform taeyong hyung the plan and he'll tell the rest

Greekgod: let's get to work boys

EarlyBird: YES SIR

KookieMonster: YES SIR

Megaphone: YES SIR

Thaibaby: YES SIR

Lostboy: YES SIR

HitTheYug: YES SIR

EiffelPuppy: YES SIR

NCT Groupchat

Jaehyun: @taeyong you and leader hyungs are in charge of knocking some sense into jinjin
hyung

Taeyong: oh this is gonna be fun

Johnny: you know i thought the whole purpose of leader hyungs' groupchat is to catch their plans
and not encourage them

Taeyong: okay but we're getting astro together

Mark: understandable have a nice day

Ten: send updates

Private Chat: Taeyong and Seungcheol

Taeyong: [image]

Seungcheol: how long do you think this is gonna take us

Taeyong: knowing his thick head?

Taeyong: a while

Seungcheol: we have work to do

Private Chat: Taeyong and Namjoon

Taeyong: [image]

Namjoon: already planning

Private Chat: Taeyong and JB

 Taeyong: [image]

JB: oh boy

Chapter End Notes

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

I'm just gonna throw this here and hope no one asks questions.
 Of Emotions and Constipation
Chapter Summary

Of Idiots and Closets Pt.2

Chapter Notes

KookieMonster: Jungkook
EarlyBird: Eunwoo
Megaphone: DK
Lostboy: The8
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Greekgod: Jaehyun
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

EarlyBird: alright phase one is starting

EarlyBird: i need one of you to call me in exactly 20 minutes

EiffelPuppy: gotcha babe

Lostboy: go get it bird boy

Greekgod: @EarlyBird it's been 30 minutes

Greekgod: well??

EarlyBird: this might be harder than I thought

HitTheYug: the fuck happened

EarlyBird: heavily made out with sanha while sitting on his lap and i kid you not moonbin was
staring at us like a hawk the entire time

EarlyBird: then I left and acted like nothing happened when gyu called me

EarlyBird: bro the way they stared at each other when they thought I left

EarlyBird: but now they're avoiding looking at each other

Megaphone: that was phase one???

EarlyBird: you know how oblivious my members are to subtle moves

Megaphone: okay yeah true

Thaibaby: fair point honestly

KookieMonster: man the sexual tension

Greekgod: okay we're gonna need to amplify that tension until someone snaps

Thaibaby: essentially yes

EarlyBird: alright imma take a shower first and come back

HitTheYug: that hard huh? ;)

EarlyBird: shut the fuck up

Leaders Groupchat

Seungcheol: anyone else's relationships have been quiet recently?

Namjoon: now that you mention it yeah actually

Taeyong: been a relief let me tell you

JB: man who knew polyamory would be this hard??

JinJin: lmaooo

Taeyong: listen like being surrounded by hot guys all time definitely fucks with your brain

Seungcheol: true and the more the worse

Namjoon: @JinJin you're lucky to be surrounded by only five guys

Namjoon: granted they're gorgeous as fuck but still

JB: and you only have to deal with the raging hormones of one instead of having all five vying for
attention

JinJin: haha yeah...

Seungcheol: listen like i love all my boyfriends but sometimes im jealous of you

JinJin: um but like

JinJin: actually nevermind hyungs

Taeyong: no come on don't be shy tell hyungs

JB: this is a safe space

Taeyong: is it sex advice?

JinJin: no thank you moving along

JinJin: my question is that isn't it nice?

JinJin: to have so many people who love you I mean

Seungcheol: listen like

Seungcheol: it's tiring and could lead to so many problems if not done right

Namjoon: what he means is that you have to be very open and communicate properly

Namjoon: but having many people next to you who love and know that they love you back and
will support you makes it so worth it

JinJin: sounds nice actually

JB: anyways i'm gonna go stir up something

JB: six people and none of them are giving me action

Taeyong: the one time we have peace you decide to ruin it

JB: Listen i deserve to have fun every once in a while

Namjoon: can't argue with you there

NCT Groupchat

Taeyong: [image]

Taeyong: [image]

Taeyong: @Jaehyun here you go chief

Jaehyun: i'm so impressed right now

Doyoung: goddamn

97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: [image]

Greekgod: [image]

HitTheYug: holy shit they work fast???

EarlyBird: oh wow

KookieMonster: anyone else feels like their leaders deserve rewards?

Megaphone: 100000%

Lostboy: im so in love with coups hyung rn

Thaibaby: eunwoo you gotta step up your game bro

EiffelPuppy: no kidding

EarlyBird: I'm dressing rocky in a crop top

Thaibaby: use my black one

97-Liners Groupchat

EarlyBird: THE CROP TOP AND HIS LONG HAIR WAS A KILLER COMBINATION

EarlyBird: HOW THE FUCK DID NO ONE MAKE A MOVE

Megaphone: you're in love with dumbfucks I guess

EarlyBird: I AM

KookieMonster: oh boy what happened exactly

EarlyBird: took minhyuk to dance practice earlier than the rest

EarlyBird: convinced him to try on the top

EarlyBird: and let me tell you how fine he looked

EarlyBird: [image]

EiffelPuppy: holy fucking shit

Thaibaby: if i wasnt in a committed relationship i would be after him

Lostboy: look at the hair holy shit

EarlyBird: so then i seduced him and made sure we were standing facing the door so everyone
could see him blissed out while i stood behind him

HitTheYug: okay just imagining it is hot

HitTheYug: imagine actually seeing it

EarlyBird: exactly???

EarlyBird: anyways everybody else walked in as he was moaning

EarlyBird: all of them froze and then looked away pretending like nothing happened

EarlyBird: and now minhyuks avoiding everybody

KookieMonster: if i did that to yoongi hyung the rest wouldve fucked him right then and there
relationship be damned

Megaphone: talk about sexual tension and emotional constipation

Greekgod: eunwoo go take a shower

Greekgod: you're mad and horny and you can't fuck anyone right now

EarlyBird: fucking hell

EarlyBird: i'm fucking in love with idiots who are fucking in love with each other but won't
fucking realize it or fucking do something about it

Megaphone: this is honestly the most i've seen eunwoo curse

Greekgod: eunwoo

EarlyBird: yeah yeah cold shower it is

EiffelPuppy: what's the next plan

Leaders Groupchat

JB: did eunwoo raid anyone else's closet??

Seungcheol: yeah minghao's

Namjoon: and jimin's

Taeyong: @JinJin how are you surviving

JinJin: so that's where he got the clothes from fuck

JB: you okay?????

JinJin: just

JinJin: everyone looks so good

Namjoon: everyone you say?

JinJin: eunwoo's always been generous and loves sharing his clothes

JinJin: minhyuk was wearing the black crop

JB: I'm guessing the one bambam has

JB: oh fuck that was one is gorgeous

Seungcheol: i bet he looked delicious

JinJin: fuck

Taeyong: why do you sound so constipated

JinJin: nothing

GOT7 Groupchat

Jaebeom: [image]

Jaebeom: he's so constipated

Jackson: my god hes worse than mark hyung back then

Mark: i resent that

Youngjae: you know it'strure

Yugyeom: LMAOOOOO

97-Liners Groupchat

Thaibaby: [image]

Thaibaby: I CANT THIS IS HILARIOUS

KookieMonster: eunwoo you gotta fuck him up so bad

EarlyBird: what the fuck do you think I'm trying to do

Lostboy: wow youre not having a good time are you

EarlyBird: you think its easy being the only with a brain

Megaphone: i distantly recall someone being a complete dumbfuck and completely oblivious to
his members' feelings before he got together with them

HitTheYug: ouch bro

Thaibaby: LMAOOOO

EarlyBird: we don't talk about that

Megaphone: mm

Greekgod: okay jinwoo hyung looks seconds away from cracking

EiffelPuppy: what's the next plan of action

KookieMonster: you wanna do this the fast way or the longer way

EarlyBird: fast way please I'm dying

HitTheYug: wow dramatic

KookieMonster: eunwoo get them drunk

EarlyBird: what

Greekgod: do what he says

Thaibaby: and then play a game

EarlyBird: alright i got it

EarlyBird: holy shit

EarlyBird: HOLY SHIT

Lostboy: WHAT IS IT

Thaibaby: SPIT IT OUT NEWBIE

EarlyBird: [video]

EarlyBird: MJ HYUNGS MAKING OUT WITH MOONBIN

EiffelPuppy: WHAT

KookieMonster: TELL US EVERYTHING

EarlyBird: so i suggested we have a a mini party with music and alcohol to let loose

EarlyBird: and naturally they can't deny me anything so they said yes

HitTheYug: he knows his power and abuses it

HitTheYug: nice

EarlyBird: anyways i suggested truth and dare after the alcohol went into their system

EarlyBird: SO MINHYUK ADMITTED TO HAVING THOUGHT ABOUT OTHER

MEMBERS BEFORE

EarlyBird: SANHA ADMITTED HE WANTS TO EXPERIENCE AN ORGY

EarlyBird: AND NOW MJ AND AND MOONBIN ARE HEAVILY MAKING OUT

Greekgod: hold on what about jinwoo

EarlyBird: he refused to play

EiffelPuppy: WHAT WHY

KookieMonster: why do you think

KookieMonster: to not get into situations like these since he's so emotionally constipated

Greekgod: i have a feeling he'll be telling leader hyungs about this

EarlyBird: tomorrow problem

EarlyBird: for now I'll be enjoying the show

Thaibaby: are you the only sober one

EarlyBird: essentially yes

EarlyBird: jinwoo hyung has a few glasses in his system but nothing significant enough

Megaphone: damn alright guess we'll have new updates tomorrow

EarlyBird: gotcha

Leaders Groupchat

JinJin: hyungs

Seungcheol: morning

JB: Sleep well?

JinJin: i need advice

Namjoon: all ears

Taeyong: what's wrong????

JinJin: mj made out with moonbin yesterday

Seungcheol: what

JinJin: and rocky admitted he thought about all of us at least once

Taeyong: okay so?

JinJin: and

JinJin: i liked it

JinJin: fuck

Namjoon: again so what?

JinJin: I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO

JB: why not?

JinJin: i don't know

JinJin: isn't that cheating on eunwoo??

JinJin: i can't just tell him i think i'm in love with everyone else

JB: and there it is

JinJin: FUCK

JinJin: I'm in love with everyone

JinJin: I'm such a bad boyfriend

Seungcheol: JINWOO

Seungcheol: STOP LAMENTING

Namjoon: you do realize you share your boyfriend with four others right

Namjoon: so you could either cry about it or go talk to eunwoo about your feelings and act on it

Taeyong: listen do you love eunwoo any less?

JinJin: NO

JinJin: how could you ask that

Taeyong: then what's stopping you

JinJin: I

JinJin: I've never been in love with several people before

JinJin: I don't know what to do

JB: you need to talk to eunwoo first

JB: and it's important that you always be honest and communicative

Seungcheol: listen it might be scary and tough sometimes

Seungcheol: but if done right it'll be the best thing of your life

JinJin: okay

Taeyong: come on where's JinJin the leader

JinJin: you're right

Namjoon: atta boy

Seventeen Groupchat

Seungcheol: [image]

Seungcheol: [image]

Mingyu: holy shit

Hoshi: this is seriously better than a kdrama

Joshua: hes so sweet aw

Vernon: no kidding

97-Liners Groupchat

Megaphone: [image]

Megaphone: [image]

Lostboy: HE ADMITS

Thaibaby: FUCKING FINALLY

KookieMonster: LETS GET IT

EiffelPuppy: HE'S SO SWEET AW

EarlyBird: he's worried about hurting me

EarlyBird: i love him so much

HitTheYug: whipped

EarlyBird: can i reward him

EarlyBird: please

Greekgod: after you talk to him

EarlyBird: yes yes

EarlyBird: i'll be back

Thaibaby: meanwhile the rest of us can reward our hyungs

KookieMonster: already on it

Lostboy: we're so whipped

HitTheYug: cant deny

Leaders Groupchat

JinJin: I talked to eunwoo

JB: and?

JinJin: he laughed at my face for being stupid

Taeyong: as he should

Namjoon: glad you got your shit together

JinJin: yeah but now we gotta knock some sense into the others

Seungcheol: best of luck with that

Seungcheol: our job is done

JinJin: you guys were in on this weren't you

JB: who do you think helped you realize your feelings

JinJin: fuck

JinJin: i've been played

JB: like a goddamn flute

JinJin: honestly well played

Taeyong: why thank you

97-Liners Groupchat

EarlyBird: thank god jinwoo hyunt got his shit together

Greekgod: alright what's next

EarlyBird: well

EarlyBird: everyone's avoiding each other now after yesterday

EarlyBird: so we decided to be straight up and upfront because otherwise they'll never get it

Megaphone: honestly its probably the best thing you can do

EarlyBird: yup

HitTheYug: so youre just gonna tell them?

EarlyBird: and have them interpret the words their own way?

EarlyBird: fuck no

EarlyBird: I'm gonna have jinwoo kiss all of them

KookieMonster: atta boy

Thaibaby: fuck yes

EarlyBird: and i'll be wearing jimin hyung's low cut blouse while jinwoo hyung would be wearing
@Lostboy's sheer back chemise

Lostboy: go all out baby

EarlyBird: will let you know

Greekgod: you better

Leaders Groupchat

Namjoon: @JinJin well?

JinJin: guess i have five boyfriends now

Taeyong: you're very welcome

JinJin: yes thank you

JB: how'd you do it

Seungcheol: im guessing you sat everyone down and told them how you felt?

JinJin: no??

JinJin: they're stupid enough to twist my words

JinJin: i kissed everyone front and center

JB: very valid and very fair

Taeyong: good boy

JinJin: :)

Namjoon: praise kink?

JinJin: NO SHUT UP

Namjoon: :)

~
97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: according to leader hyungs it all worked out

Greekgod: how'd it go down

EarlyBird: well

EarlyBird: jinwoo hyung and i got all dressed up and met everyone in dance practice

EarlyBird: and naturally everyone's eyes were on us so the sexual tension was suffocating trust
me

EarlyBird: so then once we were done the two of us started touching each other

EarlyBird: and everyone stared with a constipated look on their face

EarlyBird: so then i kid you not

EarlyBird: jinwoo grabbed sanha by the collar of his shirt and kissed him front and center

Lostboy: LMAOOOOO

Thaibaby: ATTA BOY

KookieMonster: amazing

EarlyBird: it was simultaneously funny and hot

EarlyBird: so again naturally everyone was confused

EarlyBird: so then he kissed everyone else and i screamed "YOU'RE ALL IN LOVE WITH
EACH OTHER AND HAVE MY PERMISSION"

EiffelPuppy: I CANTTTTT

HitTheYug: what a gorgeous ending

Megaphone: absolute love it

Greekgod: this proves we're too good at this business

EiffelPuppy: honestly yeah

EiffelPuppy: still adamant on not making profit?

Megaphone: mingyu no

EiffelPuppy: oh come on

KookieMonster: gyu

EiffelPuppy: fine fine

 Lostboy: oh man @EarlyBird your hkps is gonna be elevated now

EarlyBird: fuck yes

Greekgod: Cha Eunwoo we officially welcome you to the polyamory club

KookieMonster: it took a while but we're finally here

EarlyBird: fucking finally

EarlyBird: after months of seeing them dance around each other

HitTheYug: you did well soldier

EarlyBird: now if you'll excuse me I'll be having my proper hkps because i fucking deserve it

Megaphone: that you do honestly

Thaibaby: ATTA BOY

Greekgod: by the way

Greekgod: judging by what jinjin hyung said on the leaders group

Greekgod: he definitely has a voyeur kink

EarlyBird: oh yeah and a praise kink

HitTheYug: nice

Chapter End Notes

Dedicated to everyone who is having or have had a long bad day.

Hope this makes you smile!

 Of Islands and Punishments
Chapter Summary

In which, they go to Jeju island again.

Chapter Notes

Greekgod: Jaehyun
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Lostboy: The8
Megaphone: DK
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
EarlyBird: Eunwoo
KookieMonster: Jungkook

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

KookieMonster: ive been thinking

Megaphone: stop right there

Megaphone: last time you thought we ended up in jeju island

HitTheYug: if its not that then we dont want it

KookieMonster: well youre in luck because thats exactly what im thinking

EiffelPuppy: when are we leaving

EarlyBird: already packing

Greekgod: much needed honestly

Lostboy: trouble in paradise?

Greekgod: more like peace in paradise

Greekgod: leader hyungs mentioned something about it being too quiet

Greekgod: since when are we quiet??

Thaibaby: honestly way too true

KookieMonster: which is why i was thinking grander

EarlyBird: grander...?

KookieMonster: we kidnap the babies with us

Thaibaby: FUCKING GENIUS IM TEXTING CHANNIE RIGHT NOW

EiffelPuppy: you want us to die don't you

KookieMonster: essentially

Greekgod: alright ill get the dreamies

Lostboy: THATS THE SPIRIT

EarlyBird: we're so fucked

HitTheYug: backing out?

EarlyBird: hell no

EarlyBird: who do you think I am

EarlyBird: do you honestly think im gonna give my boyfriends peace after everyone got their shit
together??

EiffelPuppy: that's my boy :')

KookieMonster: ALRIGHT LADS PACK UP

HitTheYug: YES SIR

EiffelPuppy: YES SIR

Greekgod: YES SIR

Thaibaby: YES SIR

Megaphone: YES SIR

Lostboy: YES SIR

EarlyBird: YES SIR

Private Chat: Bambam and Chan

Bambam: YOU AND YOUR GROUP PACK YOUR SHIT

Chan: oh no
Chan: where to now

Bambam: surprise

Bambam: pack swimsuits tho

Chan: i can feel the headache

Private Chat: Jungkook and Soobin

Jungkook: whos your most favorite hyung ever???

Jungkook: and dont you dare say jin hyung

Soobin: uhhh you are...?

Jungkook: das right my lovely dongsaeng

Jungkook: and as your favorite hyung I'll be taking txt on a trip so pack up

Soobin: a trip where......?

Jungkook: since when would I tell you?

Jungkook: pack swimsuits and we meet up in half an hour

Soobin: hyung what

Jungkook: DO IT

Soobin: OKAY

Private Chat: Jaehyun and Jaemin

Jaehyun: nana

Jaehyun: wanna freak out your hyungs with me?

Jaemin: is that even a question

Jaemin: where are we going

Jaehyun: surprise

Jaehyun: pack up for a trip we leave in half an hour

Jaehyun: pack your swimsuits

Jaemin: sounds like hyungs are gonna have a field day

Jaehyun: that's the plan

~

97-Liners Groupchat

Lostboy: where the fuck is everyone

Thaibaby: calm the fuck down youre not the ones driving a school bus of people

Greekgod: yeah well hurry up

EarlyBird: how long do you guys need?

EarlyBird: @KookieMonster @Thaibaby

Thaibaby: yug says we need around 7 minutes

KookieMonster: hi sunbaenims its yeonjun

Greekgod: QUIT WITH THE SUNBAENIM

KookieMonster: um

KookieMonster: how did you manage to send that the exact same time jungkook hyung screamed
it in the car

EiffelPuppy: ignore these two they have a weird radar telepathic shit going on that we have to
exorcise

Megaphone: what they mean is that we agreed to call us hyungs after the cat café

KookieMonster: right yes

KookieMonster: anyways hyung says we need five minutes

Thaibaby: yugyeom says "JEON JUNGKOOK WE DO NOT NEED ANOTHER TAXI

ACCIDENT"

Lostboy: oh shit

KookieMonster: hyung says we need ten minutes

Greekgod: good

Leaders Groupchat

Seungcheol: anyone else feels like its too quiet?

JinJin: relationship-wise again?

Seungcheol: no literally

JinJin: doesn't everyone have schedules?

Seungcheol: lets see

Seungcheol: jihoon vernon and wonwoo are producing together

Seungcheol: hoshi chan and jun are dancing

Seungcheol: seungkwan joshua and jeonghan are at vocal practice

Seungcheol: the 97 liners are

Seungcheol: wait

Seungcheol: WHERE ARE THE 97 LINERS

JB: FOR FUCK'S SAKE

Namjoon: I'm done

Namjoon: let someone else deal with this

JinJin: eunwoo is supposed to be the rational one in the group

JinJin: what the fuck

Taeyong: THE DREAMIES ARE MISSING TOO

Taeyong: HE FUCKING TOOK THEM

Seungcheol: WHAT

JB: wait....

JB: STRAY KIDS ARE GONE TOO

Namjoon: so are txt

Namjoon: fuck me

Taeyong: I'm gonna have an aneurysm

JinJin: hyung please calm down let's think this through

Namjoon: i said what i said

Namjoon: I'm done.

Namjoon: Let someone else deal with it.

JB: drinks?

Namjoon: I'm down

JB: everyone else coming?

Seungcheol: fuck yeah

Taeyong: fuck it we need a vacation

Taeyong: newbie coming?

JinJin: coming

KCIA Groupchat

*Jinyoung has added Seokjin*

*Jinyoung has added Doyoung*

*Jinyoung has added MJ*

*Jinyoung has added Jeonghan*

Jinyoung: this group is to be used in extreme cases or emergencies such as now

Jinyoung: you all know what this is about?

Jin: who the fuck doesn't at this point

Doyoung: management's having a field day

Doyoung: thank god its a day off instead of schedules

MJ: im surprised im here

Jinyoung: well

Jinyoung: ideally it would be eunwoo

Jinyoung: however eunwoo has been corrupted and our leaders are drowning their sorrows

Jinyoung: so you're the next best thing

MJ: valid honestly

MJ: not gonna deny

Jeonghan: the plan?

Jeonghan: because I'm a hair away from strangling the three dumbfucks I call boyfriends

Jinyoung: two options gentlemen

Jinyoung: we can either follow them to jeju island and drag them back

Jinyoung: or we can let them have their fun and punishments are in order when they get back

Jeonghan: evil
Jeonghan: I love it

Doyoung: this is why you won the prank war

Jinyoung: :)

Jin: first management

Jin: I can fucking feel the headache already

MJ: then we deal with leaders

MJ: lord knows they deserve a treat after all the shit they go through

Doyoung: anyways

Doyoung: punishment?

Jinyoung: i have a few ideas

97-Liners Groupchat

Thaibaby: everyone has their respective packages?

Megaphone: got it

HitTheYug: ^

EarlyBird: ^

EiffelPuppy: ^

Greekgod: ^

KookieMonster: ^

Thaibaby: time for shit to hit the fan

KCIA Groupchat

Jinyoung: they should be arriving soon

Jinyoung: ready?

MJ: everyone's kicked out

Jeonghan: everything's set

Doyoung: you got it

Jin: @Jeonghan I pity you

Jeonghan: you get used to it

MJ: brave soldier

Jinyoung: let's get to work gentlemen

MJ: YES SIR

Doyoung: YES SIR

Jeonghan: YES SIR

Jin: YES SIR

97-Liners Groupchat

EiffelPuppy: uhhh guys

EiffelPuppy: is it also creepily dark at your places?

Thaibaby: mom im scared

Greekgod: what the fuck.....?

EarlyBird: shit even jae's scared this is bad

HitTheYug: NO SHIT

Megaphone: we're fucked aren't we

Lostboy: hella

Private Chat: Jungkook and Soobin

Soobin: hyung!!

Soobin: my group and I wanted to thank you and 97-liner hyungs!!

Soobin: it was very fun!!

Soobin: um hyung?

Soobin: its been two days

Soobin: everything alright?

Private Chat: Chan and Soobin

Soobin: have bambam and yugyeom hyungs been answering you?

Chan: no??

Chan: its been two days

Soobin: jungkook hyung's missing too

Soobin: hold on

Private Chat: Soobin and Jaemin

Soobin: have you heard from jaehyun hyung?

Jaemin: not a single word

Jaemin: doyoung hyung kicked everyone out of their dorm two days ago

Soobin: oh shit

Jaemin: shit indeed

Soobin: even taeyong hyung?

Jaemin: especially taeyong hyung

Soobin: rip

Private Chat: Soobin and Chan

Soobin: [image]

Chan: they're fucked

Soobin: big time

Chan: yikes

Chan: I pity them

Soobin: so do I

Chan: you're taking this surprisingly well

Soobin: we might have walked in on them a few more times more than needed

Soobin: of course while shielding the underageds eyes

Chan: been there done that

~
97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: what the fuck was that.....

Greekgod: is everyone alive?

EiffelPuppy: barely

Lostboy: im 1000000% dehydrated from the amount of tears I produced

KookieMonster: my body feels like its been hit by a truck over and over

HitTheYug: how the fuck does he have such a short refractory period

Thaibaby: what the fuck

Thaibaby: WHAT THE FUCK

Megaphone: mingyu passed out twice

Megaphone: my voice is gone

Greekgod: i went fucking blind for a few seconds

Greekgod: that is other than the blindfold

EarlyBird: who the fuck knew mj hyung is so fucking sadistic

EarlyBird: what the fuck

Greekgod: my brain can't process this

HitTheYug: JINYOUNG MADE US WRITE LINES WHILE HE RAMMED US

HitTheYug: WHAT THE FUCK

EiffelPuppy: @Thaibaby ITS YOUR FUCKING FAULT YOUR FUCKER

EiffelPuppy: YOU FUCKING MANIFESTED THAT GROUP

Thaibaby: IM SORRY

Thaibaby: BUT I DID WARN YOU

KookieMonster: i have never been this destroyed

KookieMonster: yet this turned on ever before

Lostboy: kooks we cant physically move

Lostboy: you want another round?

KookieMonster: like you dont???

Lostboy: I fucking hate that youre right

Greekgod: he wants a formal apology to management

Megaphone: same here

HitTheYug: ditto

KookieMonster: no less than five pages

EarlyBird: same

EiffelPuppy: for what it's worth

EiffelPuppy: the babies had fun

KookieMonster: i should probably answer soobin whos been worried as fuck

Thaibaby: listen team

Thaibaby: i know we're all in various stages of broken bodies

Thaibaby: but so worth it

Thaibaby: 10000000% would do again

EarlyBird: I'm pretty sure we're masochistic for liking this and wanting to do it again

Greekgod: must give credit to @KookieMonster for this

KookieMonster: thank you thank you

KookieMonster: granted that i cant walk for the next week

EiffelPuppy: try month

Lostboy: rip in peace 97 liners 1997-2021.

Private Chat: Jungkook and Soobin

Jungkook: glad you guys had fun!!

Soobin: oh thank god you're still alive

Jungkook: lets not get into that

97-Liners Groupchat

Thaibaby: anyways who are we kidnapping next

EarlyBird: manager hyungs?

 KookieMonster: points are being made

Greekgod: until our next trip lads

Megaphone: indeed

Chapter End Notes

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

Let's imagine it's a perfect world where paparazzi and dispatch aren't on their tails
every two seconds.

Anyways, y'all know this ain't their last jeju island trip.
 Of Shopping and Schemes
Chapter Summary

In which, the leaders plan.

Chapter Notes

EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Lostboy: The8
Megaphone: DK
EarlyBird: Eunwoo
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
KookieMonster: Jungkook
Greekgod: Jaehyun

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

Thaibaby: tonights party is much needed tbh

Megaphone: agreed

HitTheYug: boutta bust some dance moves

EiffelPuppy: as if you don't on an hourly basis?

HitTheYug: hush

Greekgod: I'm just here for the alcohol tbh

KookieMonster: big mood

Lostboy: anyways meet up by the buffet?

EarlyBird: sounds good

EarlyBird: make sure you don't get lost :)

Lostboy: im gonna shoot you

EarlyBird: come at me ;)
Greekgod: save it for the party horndogs

KookieMonster: those group of fuckers are seriously pissing me off

Megaphone: Yeah same but try to calm down

Megaphone: Even though it's really fucking hard to

HitTheYug: what group?

Greekgod: well if you and bam aren't busy making out in the dingy bathroom

Greekgod: you would know that a group of fuckers god knows who they are have been
unashamedly staring at the Twice girls creepily and trying to get close to them

Thaibaby: oh HELL no

Thaibaby: we're coming

EarlyBird: i'm usually a peaceful person I swear

EarlyBird: but I'm gonna fucking ram my fist into his jaw if he smiles one more time

Lostboy: i seriously need to carry my nunchucks around what the fuck

EiffelPuppy: fucking let me at them

Megaphone: not yet.

EiffelPuppy: goddammit

Leaders Groupchat

JB: fuck

JB: I know we're not supposed to encourage beating up people but that was so fucking hot

JinJin: fucking hell

JinJin: in all my years here I've never seen Eunwoo so intimidating and pissed off

Seungcheol: okay but my three boys did not hold back??

Taeyong: JAEHYUN AND JUNGKOOK WENT OFF

Namjoon: he fucking did and I can't fault him with anything

Namjoon: fuckkkk

Seungcheol: so let me get this straight

Seungcheol: instead of being

Seungcheol: a) pissed

Seungcheol: b) worried

Seungcheol: or c) horrified

Seungcheol: we and our respective members are all turned on

Taeyong: basically

JinJin: essentially

JB: Exactly

Namjoon: where's the lie?

Seungcheol: okay what's the plan

Seungcheol: because I for once would love to get railed by these three after what I just saw

JinJin: ditto

JinJin: with Eunwoo I mean

Taeyong: look at you losing your shyness!

JinJin: hyung respectfully shut up

Taeyong: ;)

Namjoon: we need to rile them up until they snap

JB: Honestly wow

JB: I can't remove the scene from my head

JB: and like the rest of my members are looking at me for answers

JB: what the fuck do I do

Namjoon: wait @JinJin

Namjoon: remember that week that Eunwoo tortured you guys before the sex

JinJin: that was fucking horrible hyung

JinJin: wait..

JinJin: GENIUS

Taeyong: using the 97-liners plans against them?

Taeyong: namjoon let me kiss your brain

Seungcheol: i can feel the tension already

Seungcheol: okay our lovely dongsaeng give us a detailed rundown of everything that happened
that week

JinJin: okay so

97-Liners Groupchat

KookieMonster: why

KookieMonster: is

KookieMonster: everyone

KookieMonster: looking

KookieMonster: like

KookieMonster: a goddamn SNACK

KookieMonster: WHAT THE FUCK

KookieMonster: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HOLD IT IN

KookieMonster: AND WHY ARE THEY TOO BUSY TO INDULGE ME

Thaibaby: .....

Thaibaby: why are you describing yug and I's exact situation?

KookieMonster: what?

HitTheYug: literally

HitTheYug: we're surrounded by a bunch of models and we cant do anything about it

Lostboy: WHY IS EVERYONE SHIRTLESS

Lostboy: THE ACS BLASTING THIS IS NOT HEALTHY

Lostboy: ITS A FUCKING DANCE PRACTICE WHAT THE FUCK

Megaphone: CAN THE COACH LEAVE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS MIGHTY

EiffelPuppy: i need a shower

Greekgod: WHERE THE FUCK DID THE GLITTER COME FROM

Greekgod: i bet its fucking ten hyung

Greekgod: i fucking know it is

EarlyBird: did ten hyung somehow influence my members as well??

EarlyBird: wait.....

EarlyBird: does anyone find any of this suspicious?

Megaphone: .....

EarlyBird: nah its performance season nevermind

Greekgod: probably the first time I want performance season to end

KookieMonster: dont we have this mental breakdown every year?

Lostboy: yeah honestly fair

EiffelPuppy: hang in there boys

Thaibaby: my end is near mark my words

HitTheYug: rip 97-liners 1997-2022.

Leaders Groupchat

Seungcheol: guys

Seungcheol: do you think the boys will catch on?

Taeyong: nah it's performance season

JB: ^

JinJin: ^

Namjoon: ^

Seungcheol: fair

97-Liners Groupchat

Thaibaby: who the fuck knows a good place to fucking chill

KookieMonster: no fuck you

Thaibaby: NO FUCK YOU

Greekgod: CAN BOTH OF YOU CALM THE FUCK DOWN

Greekgod: GO PUNCH A PILLOW OR SOMETHING

EiffelPuppy: YOU THINK WE HAVENT FUCKING TRIED

KookieMonster: LISTEN YOU THREE HAVE EACH OTHER

KookieMonster: AND BAM AND YUG TOO

KookieMonster: IM FUCKING ALONE SO FUCK OFF

Megaphone: WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ATTACKING US WE HAVENT DONE SHIT TO
YOU

HitTheYug: YEAH KOOK FUCK YOU

EarlyBird: so we're all mad at each other

EarlyBird: and judging by the way this conversation is going i'm assuming its for the exact same
reason

Lostboy: ......

Megaphone: .....

Thaibaby: ......

Greekgod: ......

HitTheYug: .....

KookieMonster: .......

EiffelPuppy: .......

EarlyBird: just to confirm

EarlyBird: are you all blue-balled too?

KookieMonster: YES

Megaphone: YES

EiffelPuppy: YES

Greekgod: YES

HitTheYug: YES

Thaibaby: YES

Lostboy: YES

Lostboy: ITS BEEN A MONTH

Megaphone: its barely been four days drama queen

Thaibaby: sure feels like a month

HitTheYug: honestly no wonder the groupchats been fucking dead

EarlyBird: fucking reminds me of the week before my HKPS

EarlyBird: anyone else finding this a bit suspicious?

EiffelPuppy: hella

Thaibaby: i can feel the gears turning in your heads

KookieMonster: okay but what the fuck prompted this

Megaphone: now that is an excellent question

Greekgod: I don't know about you guys

Greekgod: but being played like that isn't sitting well with me

Megaphone: you fucking think

Thaibaby: time for some shopping I think

Lostboy: mm yes shopping I need some new torture devices

Lostboy: I mean toys

HitTheYug: i have been meaning to try out new... things...

EiffelPuppy: both of you sound sinister as fuck right now

Greekgod: I assume everyone knows what they're doing?

Lostboy: i think so but just to be on the same page....

KookieMonster: pretending to be busy, ignoring their advances, mocking their advances sounding
mean which will leave them confused while we simultaneously stock up on new 'devices', outfits,
and other things we might until shit hits the fan and BOOM HKPS

Greekgod: exactly.

EarlyBird: you two....

EiffelPuppy: i mean i got the toys part but the first part what the fuck?

HitTheYug: you two are sadistic as shit

KookieMonster: bruh I thought thats what we're all doing?

Greekgod: yeah same

Lostboy: i mean yeah but we DIDNT THINK THAT AS THE FIRST THING THAT COMES TO
MIND
Thaibaby: im calling an exorcist one day on you two

Thaibaby: WHAT THE FUCK

Greekgod: yeah okay less complaining and more doing

Greekgod: LET'S GET TO WORK

Thaibaby: YES SIR

KookieMonster: YES SIR

HitTheYug: YES SIR

Megaphone: YES SIR

Lostboy: YES SIR

EarlyBird: YES SIR

EiffelPuppy: YES SIR

97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: who the actual fuck shops for lingerie IN A FUCKING TRENCHCOAT AND
FEDORA HAT

EiffelPuppy: who the fuck actually?

Greekgod: [image]

Greekgod: LOOK AT THEM

Greekgod: @Thaibaby @HitTheYug I'm leaving and pretending I don't know you

Thaibaby: WHY ARE YOU BEING MEAN

Megaphone: dude it's like you want to be caught

HitTheYug: relax no one knows its us

KookieMonster: you couldnt have worn a pair of jeans and a hoodie like a normal person?

Thaibaby: pft since when are we normal

Greekgod: if you two come up to me I will ignore you

Greekgod: why did I think shopping with them was a good idea again?

Lostboy: honestly its on you

Greekgod: it really fucking is

EarlyBird: hang in there baby

Leaders Groupchat

Taeyong: how am I supposed to rile jaehyun up if i barely see him because of training?

Seungcheol: fucking performance season

Namjoon: no kidding

Namjoon: stylist noonas keep fussing over jungkook's outfits for some reason

Namjoon: he's done more outfits fittings than all of us combined

JB: bro literally

JinJin: i thought this was gonna be fun :(

JB: hang in there kiddo

97-Liners Groupchat

EarlyBird: @Lostboy @Megaphone CAN YOU STOP PLAYING WITH THE WHIPS IN THE
MIDDLE OF THE STORE

EarlyBird: WE FUCKING KNOW YOU USE NUNCHUCKS

Greekgod: we're friends with children

EarlyBird: @EiffelPuppy FOR THE LOVE OF SEX REIGN THEM IN

HitTheYug: nice i like that

EiffelPuppy: yeah okay CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TRYING

Thaibaby: pft and you thought we were bad

Greekgod: you shut up

Greekgod: i saw you stretching those panties like a slingshot to 'test their strechy-ness'

KookieMonster: BURN BRO

EarlyBird: oh my god I'm leaving

EarlyBird: shopping who

Megaphone: that was fun

Lostboy: hella!
EiffelPuppy: you're dead to me

Megaphone: we'll see about that ;)

KookieMonster: sounds like some freaky shit boutta happen

EarlyBird: hey hey hold on

EarlyBird: how come you are the only one not

EarlyBird: a) causing mischief

EarlyBird: or b) suffering

KookieMonster: because I decided to do my shopping online dumbasses

EiffelPuppy: ......

Greekgod: ......

Megaphone: ......

EarlyBird: .....

HitTheYug: ......

Lostboy: ......

Thaibaby: why didnt we think of that?

EarlyBird: I'm done

Greekgod: so am I

EiffelPuppy: jeon jungkook I hate you so fucking much right now

KookieMonster: not my fault you didnt think this through

Greekgod: WELL YOU COULD'VE SAID SOMETHING

Greekgod: INSTEAD I HAD TO SUFFER WITH TWO SHERLOCK HOLMES WANNABES

HitTheYug: EXCUSE YOU SHERLOCK HOLMES GOT NOTHING ON US BITCH

Megaphone: OKAY MOVING ALONG

EarlyBird: oh please as if you were any better

Megaphone: HUSH

EiffelPuppy: literally

EiffelPuppy: I'm dating kids

EiffelPuppy: I'm pretty sure the cashier thought we were like 12

Lostboy: okay so?

KookieMonster: this is a mess

Thaibaby: no kidding

Leaders Groupchat

JB: I think all the teasing officially got to them judging by today's delicious reaction

JinJin: youve got it down bad hyung

JB: and you don't?

JinJin: touché

Taeyong: I've literally been waiting for this since that night

Namjoon: let's hope things go well

Seungcheol: judging by how mean those three were?

Seungcheol: i think we're in for a wild ride

97-Liners Groupchat

EarlyBird: okay guys how's the set up?

Megaphone: absolutely perfect

Greekgod: all going according to plan

KookieMonster: I thank my stylist noonas who have unknowingly but willingly helped me build
up all this tension

Lostboy: you should pay them

KookieMonster: i really should

HitTheYug: bam and I have the dorm all set up

Thaibaby: i love this

EiffelPuppy: its gonna be so fun fighting them for control

EarlyBird: this group is geniunely sadistic sometimes

KookieMonster: whoops
Greekgod: anyways my members should be arriving soon

Greekgod: time to teach them what happens when you mess with the 97-liners

Greekgod: RIGHT BOYS?

KookieMonster: RIGHT

Lostboy: RIGHT

EiffelPuppy: RIGHT

HitTheYug: RIGHT

EarlyBird: RIGHT

Thaibaby: RIGHT

Megaphone: RIGHT

*Two Days Later*

Leaders Groupchat

Seungcheol: say hey if youre alive

Seungcheol: say hi if barely

Namjoon: hi

JinJin: hi

Taeyong: hi

JB: hi

Seungcheol: hi

Namjoon: I don't know whether to classify this as our worst plan yet

Namjoon: or the absolute best plan we have ever come up with

JB: I'm pretty sure my vocal cords are torn

Taeyong: do not get my started on my back

JinJin: hyungs

JinJin: what the fuck was that

Seungcheol: I knew something was awakened the moment I saw that honey jar

JB: oh my god
Namjoon: for the record I'm the only one semi-awake

Namjoon: and that's because I have to figure out how to explain this entire ordeal to our managers

Taeyong: SHIT WE HAVE A MEETING SCHEDULED TODAY

JinJin: is anyone slightly alive that can go?

Taeyong: DOES IT LOOK LIKE ANYONE CAN WALK FOR THE NEXT WEEK????

JinJin: yeah well ditto

JB: well

JB: its a good thing we ended performance season that night huh

Seungcheol: oh my god literally

Seungcheol: the mere thought of having to dance and perform is enough to make me pass out

Namjoon: I've literally never seen him so feral

Taeyong: don't get hard again your body's literally broken

Namjoon: don't you think I know that???

JB: anyways I thank everyone's efforts in this group for making me discover sides I have never
even imagined to come across

JinJin: @Namjoon to answer your statement hyung

JinJin: definitely the best plan ever

Taeyong: agreed

JB: 10000%

Seungcheol: absolutely

Namjoon: that's good

Namjoon: imma pass out again

JB: ditto

Jinjin: ^

Seungcheol: ^

Taeyong: ^

97-Liners Groupchat
Megaphone: so hows everyone at your sides

KookieMonster: let me check

KookieMonster: yup still passed out

EarlyBird: same same

Greekgod: ditto

Thaibaby: no difference here

Megaphone: same here

Megaphone: ming and gyu are making food tho

Thaibaby: yugs ordering take out

EarlyBird: that was fun!

Thaibaby: we agree

Megaphone: so do the three of us

Greekgod: knew everybody here was sadistic

KookieMonster: we been knew

KookieMonster: anyways im busy putting cushions on every hard surface they sit on

KookieMonster: lord knows they need it huh

Lostboy: mean youre mean

KookieMonster: listen i got my revenge leave me be

HitTheYug: in a weird way

Thaibaby: i think this was very much needed

EarlyBird: honestly point there

Megaphone: gyu agrees with you

Greekgod: it's a good thing I cancelled that meeting today because there's no way in hell that
anybody's getting up today

KookieMonster: literally

KookieMonster: they dont know I cleared all our schedules tho

Megaphone: we're setting up for for everyone

Thaibaby: so are we
 EarlyBird: to honestly think our managers wanted us to evaluate performance season today

EarlyBird: not today satan

EarlyBird: they're probs pissed at me though

EarlyBird: but whatever anything for our boys right?

Greekgod: absolutely

Megaphone: exactly

KookieMonster: totally

Thaibaby: aint no lie there

Greekgod: hey did anyone find out what started this though?

Chapter End Notes

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

Aiiiiii the mess that is this chapter. Also like I'm pretty sure if you've made it so far
into the book, you have the usernames memorized. Even so, I shall continue to put
them in the beginning.

Also guys! I never usually do this but if you love drama and royalty please check out
my other book I'd Give You the Stars (But You're the Universe).
 Of Clubs and Lists
Chapter Summary

In which, Jeju Island escalates.

Chapter Notes

KookieMonster: Jungkook
EarlyBird: Eunwoo
Greekgod: Jaehyun
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Megaphone: DK
Lostboy: The8

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

EiffelPuppy: performance season wrecked me

EiffelPuppy: i wanna have funnnn

EiffelPuppy: everyone's too tired and boring :(

Megaphone: ditto

Lostboy: ditto

EarlyBird: and you come complaining to us expecting a solution?

Megaphone: obviously

Lostboy: exactly???

Greekgod: and what do you propose we do??

EiffelPuppy: idk do something

HitTheYug: do you want me to kidnap you to the cat café?

Lostboy: i love ahjumma and all but nah not the mood today

Thaibaby: video games?

Megaphone: nah

Thaibaby: girl group choreos?

EiffelPuppy: nah

Thaibaby: video call?

Megaphone: nah

Thaibaby: bowling?

Lostboy: meh

EiffelPuppy: the weather's niceeeee i don't wanna be insideeeeee

KookieMonster: guysssss

KookieMonster: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Lostboy: PLEASE TELL ME ITS WHAT I THINK IT IS

Lostboy: IM BEGGING YOU

HitTheYug: WHAT IS IT

KookieMonster: wouldnt you say the weathers nice today?

KookieMonster: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Greekgod: hold on its not even that time of year yet

EarlyBird: is this what i think it is?

EiffelPuppy: OH MY GOD YES

EiffelPuppy: yes but we had a month of performance season and 2 months prior to prepare for
performance season and not to mention everything that happened in between

EiffelPuppy: please generals

Megaphone: pretty please generals

Megaphone: is only fun when all of us are together

EarlyBird: shouldve thought of that when you guys went without me hmph

EiffelPuppy: WE WEREN'T EVEN FRIENDS

Thaibaby: WE DIDNT EVEN KNOW YOU EXISTED

EarlyBird: details details

Greekgod: you know what

Greekgod: much needed honestly

Lostboy: YESSSSSSSSS

Lostboy: KOOKS I LOVE YOU

KookieMonster: okay first

KookieMonster: all in?

Thaibaby: obviously

HitTheYug: duh

Megaphone: we're already packing

EiffelPuppy: what he said

Lostboy: OBVIOUSLY WE'RE IN

Greekgod: do I go for the extra dance practice excuse or the private stylist fitting excuse

EarlyBird: stylist

EarlyBird: at least that's what I'm going for

Megaphone: okay meet at the airport?

KookieMonster: no no hold on

KookieMonster: I didnt say I was done

Lostboy: pleaee dont take it back ill cry

KookieMonster: do you guys want this to be a peaceful trip or chaos reincarnated?

Greekgod: what the fuck are you thinking?

KookieMonster: well I just thought it was unfair that we invited only boy groups last time....

HitTheYug: i got nayeon on speed dial

Greekgod: ight ill text yeri

Thaibaby: ill text lisa and @EiffelPuppy @Megaphone @Lostboy you three pick them up

Megaphone: what makes you think they'll say yes?

Thaibaby: really?

Megaphone: okay dumb question moving along

EarlyBird: Ill text yoojung

KookieMonster: the more the merrier

HitTheYug: man imagine if one day we were able to invite our seniors

HitTheYug: like IU for example

Greekgod: do it

Greekgod: I dare

HitTheYug: ME?

HitTheYug: LET KOOKS DO IT

KookieMonster: WHY ME

HitTheYug: THIS IS YOUR IDEA PLUS SUGA HYUNGS FRIENDS WITH HER

KookieMonster: ......

KookieMonster: you know what

KookieMonster: imma do it

Lostboy: absolute mad lad

EiffelPuppy: you're insane

EarlyBird: I didn't think you'd actually do it....

HitTheYug: no way bro

KookieMonster: WATCH ME

KookieMonster: gotta steal hyungs phone first wait

Private Chat: Jungkook and IU

Jungkook: Hi IU sunbaenim!

Jungkook: its Jungkook from BTS

Jungkook: kinda stole your number from hyungs phone hope you dont mind

IU: Hi Jungkook!

IU: not at all!

IU: What can I do for you?

Jungkook: actually the proper question is what can we do for you

IU: interesting
Jungkook: my 97 liner friends and I are going to Jeju island for the day with a bunch of our girl
group friends

Jungkook: are you interested?

IU: do your hyungs and managers know?

Jungkook: hell no

IU: and if I come I'm assuming I can't alert my managers either

Jungkook: preferable yes

IU: I'm in

Jungkook: wait seriously?

IU: You expected me to say no?

Jungkook: yes?

IU: What's the plan?

Jungkook: can you meet us at the airport in an hour?

IU: Done.

97-Liners Groupchat

KookieMonster: [image]

KookieMonster: [image]

KookieMonster: ALL OF YOU BOW DOWN TO THE KING

Lostboy: YOU ACTUALLY DID IT???

Megaphone: AND SHE SAID YES???

HitTheYug: JEON JUNGKOOK HOLY SHIT

EiffelPuppy: holy shit you're on fire today what the fuck

KookieMonster: my parts done have yall talked to everyone yet?

Thaibaby: NO WAIT

KookieMonster: BRO COME ON WE HAVE TO BE AT THE AIRPORT IN FIFTY MINUTES

Greekgod: ALRIGHT ALRIGHT WAIT

~
Private Chat: Yugyeom and Nayeon

Yugyeom: noona

Yugyeom: how bored are you

Nayeon: what do you have in mind?

Yugyeom: you and the rest pack up

Yugyeom: bam and i will be picking you up

Yugyeom: we gotta be in the airport in 50 mins MAX

Nayeon: airport?????

Yugyeom: NOONA DO IT

Nayeon: OKAY OKAY

Yugyeom: AND PACK SWIMSUITS

Nayeon: oh my god

Private Chat: Jaehyun and Yeri

Jaehyun: yeri

Jaehyun: you and your group pack up

Yeri: ?????

Jaehyun: airport in 50 minutes

Jaehyun: ill be picking you up in 20 mins

Yeri: ?????

Jaehyun: YERI COME ON

Yeri: WHERE TO

Jaehyun: SURPRISE

Yeri: do managers know about this?

Jaehyun: fuck no

Jaehyun: PACK SWIMSUITS

Yeri: ??????

Jaehyun: YERI I SWEAR TO GOD

Yeri: OKAY OKAY

Private Chat: Eunwoo and Yoojung

Eunwoo: hey

Yoojung: hi oppa

Eunwoo: wanna have fun?

Yoojung: what's the plan?

Eunwoo: not telling you but you and your members pack up we have a flight to catch

Yoojung: do managers know

Eunwoo: what do you think?

Yoojung: that's a no isn't it

Eunwoo: indeed

Private Chat: Bambam and Lisa

Bambam: LISA

Bambam: I KNOW YOURE IN KOREA

Bambam: ANSWER ME

Lisa: WHAT

Bambam: YOU AND YOUR GROUP PACK UP

Bambam: MINGYU SEOKMIN AND MINGHAO ARE PICKING YOU UP IN 20 MINUTES

Lisa: WHAT

Lisa: WHERE TO

Bambam: YOULL FIND OUT

Bambam: PACK SWIMSUITS

97-Liners Groupchat

EiffelPuppy: mingyu tells you guys we need 15 mins to get there

Greekgod: jaehyun says the same

Thaibaby: wait whos talking

EiffelPuppy: hi its jennie!

Thaibaby: JENNIE ITS NAYEON

EiffelPuppy: UNNIE WHAT

Greekgod: UNNIES

Greekgod: ITS YERI

EarlyBird: EUNWOO DIDNT TELL US SUNBAENIMS ARE COMING TOO OH MY GOD

EarlyBird: hi sunbaenims its yoojung from weki meki!

Greekgod: Yoojung! Seulgi unnie freaking out over my shoulder

KookieMonster: okay guys tell the boys to hurry up please im already there and iu sunbaenim
needs five minutes

EarlyBird: IU SUNBAENIM???

EiffelPuppy: IU SUNBAENIM???

Greekgod: IU SUNBAENIM???

Thaibaby: IU SUNBAENIM???

KookieMonster: YES NOW HURRY

Seventeen Groupchat

Seungcheol: where

Seungcheol: are

Seungcheol: the 97

Seungcheol: liners

Joshua: .......

Seungcheol: thats all I needed to know thank you

Leaders Groupchat

Seungcheol: where

Seungcheol: are
Seungcheol: the 97

Seungcheol: liners

Namjoon: please stop

JB: I dont know and the company is freaking out because all of twice are missing too

Taeyong: same with red velvet

JinJin: same with weki meki

JB: oh no

Taeyong: you've gotta be kidding me

Namjoon: excuse me while i smother myself in a pillow or something

Seungcheol: okay new idea

Seungcheol: we pretend we dont know anything and go to sleep

JB: sounds like an amazing idea im wrecked anyways goodnight

Taeyong: i second that goodnight

JinJin: bedtime sounds good

Namjoon: amazing suggestion goodnight

KCIA Groupchat

Doyoung: are we supposed to do something?

MJ: what did the leaders decide

Jin: ignore and sleep

Jin: and if that's what he's doing that's what I'm doing

Jinyoung: ditto

Jeonghan: guess that's settled them

Doyoung: good talk

97-Liners Groupchat

Thaibaby: im thinking instead of our usual packages

Thaibaby: we get gifts this time

Megaphone: i mean they are still wrecked so fair point

Greekgod: wow not bad bam

Thaibaby: shut up

EarlyBird: really impressive

Thaibaby: SHUT UP

KookieMonster: GUYS THE GIRLS ARE THROWING YUG AND MING OFF THE CLIFF

EiffelPuppy: WAIT IM COMING

Thaibaby: I GOTTA SEE THIS

EarlyBird: not gonna lie tho

EarlyBird: iu and irene sunbaenims are lowkey scary

Greekgod: highkey bro trust me

Private Chat: Yoongi and IU

Yoongi: Jieun

Yoongi: don't forget to send me that music file

IU: Yeah that's gonna have to wait

IU: I'm out now

Yoongi: sigh

IU: well you sound happy

IU: whats up

Yoongi: we've lost jungkook for like the 10th time

IU: Oh have you now

Yoongi: I'm pretty fucking sure he's with his liner friends though

IU: Mm makes sense

Yoongi: good thing he didn't kidnap the babies again this time though

IU: Oh?

Yoongi: also I thought you said you were gonna be home all day

IU: me?
IU: I'm not even in main land korea right now

Yoongi: ????

Yoongi: you literally told me to check the file out because you'll be bored at home all day

IU: Oh would you look at that I gotta go

IU: Bye!

Yoongi: bye?

97-Liners Groupchat

Lostboy: man who knew the girls would be ruthless

Thaibaby: look me in the eye and tell me that wasnt fun

Lostboy: ok it lowkey was BUT STILL

EarlyBird: today was fun

EarlyBird: dealing with both my managers and weki mekis managers however....

Greekgod: its a good thing we bought those gifts for the managers too

HitTheYug: no kidding

HitTheYug: twices managers were about to throw a fit

KookieMonster: should we feel bad for letting blackpink and IU noona deal with their managers
alone?

Megaphone: lets be real noona would probably eat her managers

KookieMonster: fair

KookieMonster: also i think if yoongi hyung finds out noona was with us today he'll throw a fit

EiffelPuppy: honestly this times kinda peaceful compared to the last

EiffelPuppy: minus the managers part

Thaibaby: friendly reminder the only reason why it is is because we wrecked our members a few
days before

Greekgod: fair

Greekgod: but speaking of which I still dont know what started that whole ordeal

KookieMonster: no idea my guy

Lostboy: me neither

HitTheYug: no clue here

EarlyBird: if anyone finds out let me know

Private Chat: Nayeon and Yugyeom

Nayeon: everyone says thank you

Nayeon: it was so much fun we loved it

Yugyeom: anytime noona

Yugyeom: if yall ever need a getaway give me a call

Nayeon: noted!!

Private Chat: Bambam and Lisa

Bambam: did the gift packages work?

Lisa: yeah good call actually

Bambam: experience my friend teaches you things

Lisa: i can tell this isnt your first time

Bambam: ;)

Lisa: anyways the girls and i say thank you and if yall ever plan another trip like that count us in

Bambam: you got it

Private Chat: Eunwoo and Yoojung

Yoojung: do you guys do this often?

Eunwoo: jeju island?

Eunwoo: all im gonna say is that this isnt our first time

Yoojung: that was amazing honestly

Yoojung: we had so much fun with sunbaenims

Eunwoo: hey we're all friends now no need to be so formal and that's coming from the entire
group
Yoojung: thank you!!

Private Chat: Yeri and Jaehyun

Yeri: next time

Yeri: no need for the cryptic messages

Jaehyun: it got the job done didn't it?

Yeri: yeah but explaining to my members that youre kidnapping us to god knows where involved a
lot of screaming

Yeri: you couldve spared me

Jaehyun: fair but it wouldn't have been as fun

Yeri: anyways obviously everyone says thanks

Yeri: seeing the other girls too was so much fun

Jaehyun: anytime anytime

Private Chat: Jungkook and IU

IU: I can't thank you boys enough

IU: It was the most fun I've had in a while

Jungkook: no thanks needed noona!!

Jungkook: we're so happy you joined us honestly

Jungkook: and if you ever need anything the boys and I are always happy to help

IU: thank youuu

IU: yoongi texted me today freaking out about your disappearance by the way

Jungkook: lmao what

IU: [image]

IU: [image]

Jungkook: LMAOOOO

Jungkook: noona your messages sound kinda sus tho

IU: oh please he'll never make the connection

Jungkook: point there

*A Few Days Later*

97-Liners Groupchat

HitTheYug: guys

HitTheYug: ive been getting messages from all sorts of people complimenting me??

HitTheYug: which like isnt new but its weird that its happening way too often

KookieMonster: hey me too??

KookieMonster: and all the tags everywhere even more than usual

Greekgod: literally everyone at the company has been extra nice these past few days??

Greekgod: which I'm not complaining about but it's borderline suffocating

Megaphone: okay but same and the members swear that they only treat us three like that

EarlyBird: okay... weird..

EarlyBird: even my actor friends have been frequently messaging me

Thaibaby: anyone has any idea whats going on?

Lostboy: literally no clue

Lostboy: ive even been receiving things from china wtf

EiffelPuppy: maybe itll pass?

*A Week Later*

97-Liners Groupchat:

EarlyBird: guys

EarlyBird: have you seen the latest dispatch article??

HitTheYug: I JUST DID HAHAHAHAHHA

HitTheYug: IM SOBBING

EiffelPuppy: wait what article?

EarlyBird: [link]

~
Dispatch: The latest news is brought to you by the famous 97-Liners friend group. The group
which includes NCT's Jaehyun, GOT7's Bambam and Yugyeom, SEVENTEEN's Mingyu, The8, and
DK, BTS's Jungkook, and finally ASTRO's Cha Eunwoo have reportedly formed an exclusive club
where they make trips to a private resort in Jeju island.

Accompanying them to their trips are invites-only. An invite is considered one of the highest honors
which is why we see many K-POP idols and even K-DRAMA actors and actresses trying to gain
their spot in their circle.

A waiting list has even formed with individuals reserving their places already. The waiting
reportedly includes: ATEEZ, ITZY, Mamamoo, EXO, SHINEE, Jessi, EVERGLOW, The BOYZ, and
many more.

It is reported that invitees included TWICE, Red Velvet, Stray Kids, TXT, Blackpink, Weki Meki,
NCT Dream, and the most exclusive guest yet: IU.

Reporters and photographers are strictly not permitted within even 10 Kilometers of the premises.
It is also speculated the resort is owned by NCT's Jung Jaehyun himself which has made it quite a
popular spot in the famous island, and could be the reason why it contains such high security.

Megaphone: WHAT THE FUCK LMAOOOOO

KookieMonster: IM CRYING WHAT IS THIS

Lostboy: I BUST A LUNG

EiffelPuppy: I FUCKING LOVE THIS

Greekgod: I own a resort????

Greekgod: I'm rich but not that rich

HitTheYug: ah yes jaehyun our sugar daddy

Greekgod: am I the one providing the plane tickets too?

Thaibaby: mm daddy

Greekgod: for the love of god shut up

BTS Groupchat

Yoongi: JEON JUNGKOOK YOU STOLE JIEUN'S PHONE NUMBER FROM MY PHONE
DIDN'T YOU

Jungkook: oops?

Yoongi: AND YOU TOOK HER TO JEJU?

Jungkook: yeeeeessss....?
Yoongi: WHAT THE FUCK

Jungkook: noona loved it!!

Taehyung: NOONA???

NCT Groupchat

Johnny: [link]

Johnny: @Jaehyun YOU HAVE A RESORT????

Jaehyun: Believe me I'm just as shocked as you are

Jaehyun: DO YOU HONESTLY THINK I'M THAT RICH

Jaehyun: GO LOOK AT KUN OR CHENLE OR SOMETHING

Doyoung: WELL YEAH THAT'S WHAT WE THOUGHT

Taeil: BUT THEN WHATS THIS

Jaehyun: IDK TALK TO DISPATCH

Seventeen Groupchat

Hoshi: [link]

Hoshi: @Mingyu @The8 @DK you guys have a club???

Mingyu: well if you guys count the groupchat as a club then yeah

Mingyu: but like no?????

Woozi: the fuck is this??

The8: believe us when we say god knows hyung

DK: All the nice treatment and messages finally make sense omg

ASTRO Groupchat

Moonbin: [link]

Moonbin: hyung what

Moonbin: are we on the waiting list??

Eunwoo: WE DON'T EVEN HAVE THAT WAITING LIST

 Rocky: THEN WHO MADE IT

Eunwoo: I DON'T KNOW???

97-Liners Groupchat

EarlyBird: guys like as funny as this is

EarlyBird: i can feel it becoming a problem

Megaphone: maybe if we just ignore it it'll die down

Greekgod: yeah sounds good

Dispatch: With the radio silence from the 97-Liners, potential invitees are worried. The waiting
list continues growing.

Chapter End Notes

This idea popped into my head and I just had to do it.

 Of Supermarkets and Aftermaths
Chapter Summary

In which, they make a statement.

Chapter Notes

EarlyBird: Eunwoo
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Megaphone: DK
Lostboy: The8
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
Thaibaby: Bambam
KookieMonster: Jungkook

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

EiffelPuppy: a

Thaibaby: nope

EiffelPuppy: fuck

EiffelPuppy: what does he look like now

Thaibaby: o
/|\

Lostboy: that is the most broken hangman if ive ever seen one

EiffelPuppy: d

Thaibaby: NOPE

EiffelPuppy: FUCK

Greekgod: guys what

EiffelPuppy: IM BORED

KookieMonster: wow we're so pathetic we're playing hangman now?

Thaibaby: SEE?
HitTheYug: better than video games

HitTheYug: ive even beaten that boss fight that I couldnt for a while

Megaphone: i cant believe management still has us on "lockdown"

Megaphone: its not our faults the jeju island fiasco happened??

EarlyBird: literally

EarlyBird: i still wanna know who has that waiting list

HitTheYug: also I miss you guys :(

HitTheYug: its been like weeks wtf

Lostboy: ngl i miss yall too

Lostboy: NOW EVERYONE SAY IT BACK

KookieMonster: okay i miss you guys :(

KookieMonster: even my studio couch misses yall

Greekgod: no shut up stop being all lovey dovey

Megaphone: but I wanna hang out with youuuu

Greekgod: STOP YOU KNOW MANAGEMENT WILL FLIP

EarlyBird: can't believe I miss yall and jae's tsudere ass

Greekgod: I'm sad now.

Thaibaby: yeah well so are we so join the club

KookieMonster: cant a guy have fun with his friends without a nation-wide panic?

EiffelPuppy: apparently not

Private Chat: Jinyoung and Yugyeom

Jinyoung: baby why are you and bam sad?

Yugyeom: we're not sad...

Jinyoung: I can see you two pouting from across the room

Yugyeom: okay maybe a bit

Yugyeom: nothing hyung just missing the guys

Yugyeom: this "lockdown"s been annoying

Jinyoung: hm

Jinyoung: I see

Private Chat: Jinyoung and Jaebeom

Jinyoung: what happens if the 97 liners see each other exactly?

Jaebeom: management will flip

Jaebeom: they gave us strict orders on making them avoid each other at all costs

Jinyoung: so I'm just supposed to let my babies be sad and trapped?

Jaebeom: I don't like it either but we have to until the whole issue dies down

Jinyoung: mm

KCIA Groupchat

Jinyoung: Gather front and center.

Jinyoung: My babies are sad and my 'leader' won't do anything about it.

MJ: Oh yikes

MJ: everything okay there jinyoung?

Jinyoung: not until they stop pouting

Jeonghan: yeah same things have been tense here

Jeonghan: as they should be.

Doyoung: glad to see we're all on the same page

Jin: lovely

MJ: Seriously who the fuck 'bans' someone from seeing their friends???

Jin: I can think of someone

Doyoung: WE WORKED IT OUT AND LEARNED OUR LESSON

Doyoung: NO NEED TO BRING UP THE PAST HYUNG

Jin: its fun seeing you scramble LMAO

Doyoung: HYUNG

MJ: Do I wanna know?

Jeonghan: if eunwoo hasn't told you already then no

MJ: interesting

Jinyoung: anyways

Jinyoung: the plan?

Jeonghan: simple

Jeonghan: they 'coincidently' go to the same supermarket

Jin: obviously

MJ: All of them?

Doyoung: of course not

Doyoung: way too suspicious

Doyoung: get with the times old man

MJ: doyoung I swear to god

Jeonghan: plus like the managers will be with them so we need this to seem plausible

Jin: anyways Ill tell kook to pick up some fruits from that supermarket next to the river

Jin: coincidently that's where the seventeen boys will be

Jeonghan: got it

Doyoung: jaehyun will be buying shampoo from that pharmacy that's like 5 stories big

Doyoung: COINCIDENTLY the got7 boys will be there and so will eunwoo

MJ: gotchaa

Jinyoung: I knew I could count on you guys

Private Chat: Doyoung and Jaehyun

Doyoung: you need shampoo from the huge pharmacy

Jaehyun: i do?

Doyoung: [image]

Jaehyun: I DO

Jaehyun: I love you

Doyoung: Love you too baby

~

Private Chat: Jinyoung and Bambam

Jinyoung: you and yug go to the pharmacy

Bambam: ..?

Jinyoung: go to the pharmacy

Jinyoung: [image]

Bambam: GOING

Private Chat: Jin and Jungkook

Jin: get us some fruits and veggies <3

Jungkook: we have though....?

Jin: I happen to know certain people are gonna be there

Jin: certain Seventeen people

Jungkook: hyung did you...?

Jungkook: im gonna cry

Jin: hush now and go do what I told you

Jungkook: i fucking love you so much

Jin: scram kid

Jungkook: :D

Private Chat: Mingyu and Jeonghan

Jeonghan: take minghao and seokmin and get us some juice

Mingyu: oh sure we'll get some from the grocery store at the end of the street

Jeonghan: no go to the supermarket next to the river

Mingyu: um hyung

Mingyu: do we seriously have to make that trip with managers hyung

Jeonghan: [image]

Jeonghan: yes
Mingyu: we'll buy the whole damn store.

Private Chat: MJ and Eunwoo

MJ: go to the big pharmacy and get some lotion <3

Eunwoo: no <3

Eunwoo: you know I hate that place specifically and I don't wanna leave with a manager

MJ: [image]

MJ: do you now

Eunwoo: I love that place

Eunwoo: my favorite place ever

97-Liners Groupchat

Thaibaby: so fucking in love with Jinyoung hyung rn

Thaibaby: SO FUCKING IN LOVE

Lostboy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Greekgod: [image]

Greekgod: eunwoo looks so disgusted and and lost LMAO

Megaphone: pls hes so cute

EiffelPuppy: doesn't he hate this place

Greekgod: yup

Greekgod: I'm distracting manager hyung by making him compare labels for me while I look for
the devil twins

HitTheYug: [image]

HitTheYug: look at jae being distracted

Greekgod: WHERE ARE YOU

HitTheYug: its fun seeing you look for us

HitTheYug: bams distracting the managers

EarlyBird: FUCK'S SAKE SOMEONE APPEAR

Thaibaby: eunwoo you cutie

Thaibaby: guys lets pretend to coincidently meet and then ditch the managers and run

Greekgod: we're gonna be in so much trouble

EarlyBird: yeah well what's the worst they'll do?

EarlyBird: put us on lockdown?

EarlyBird: oh wait we're already on it

HitTheYug: BITTER

HitTheYug: I LOVE IT

KookieMonster: im guessing from the radio silence the 4 dumbasses bolted

KookieMonster: where the fuck are you three @EiffelPuppy @Megaphone @Lostboy

Lostboy: we're on the second floor where the fuck are you

KookieMonster: IM THERE TOO

KookieMonster: sejin hyung keeps asking who im texting help

Megaphone: just tell him your brother or something

KookieMonster: easy for you to say

KookieMonster: you three can take turns distracting your manager

KookieMonster: IM ALONE

EiffelPuppy: where the fuck are you shorty

KookieMonster: fuck you

KookieMonster: but if you find a giant of a man

KookieMonster: thats sejin hyung

Megaphone: bruh he really is a giant wtf

KookieMonster: WAIT YOU SAW HIM?

Megaphone: no wonder we couldnt see you

Megaphone: okay kook find the fabric softener stand

Megaphone: we're there

KookieMonster: OKAY I SEE THE TOP OF GYUS HEAD

KookieMonster: we bolt on 3?

Lostboy: 1

EiffelPuppy: 2

KookieMonster: 3!

Leaders Groupchat

Namjoon: fucking hell

Namjoon: anyone else's managers are freaking out?

Seungcheol: you fucking bet

JB: Can i throw myself

Taeyong: JAKANSKAKSJAKSKSN

Taeyong: A CHASE IN THE PHARMACY

Taeyong: ARE THEY INSANE

JinJin: oh my fucking god

Private: Jinyoung and Jaebeom

Jinyoung: you will not be touching the babies.

Leaders Groupchat

JB: [image]

JB: Um

Seungcheol: okay so jeonghan sent me the exact same message

Taeyong: so did doyoung

JinJin: so did MJ

Namjoon: so did Jin

JB: mom I'm scared

~
Private Chat: Jinyoung and Jaebeom

Jaebeom: but but the managers

Jinyoung: I'll deal with them.

Jaebeom: Jinyoung....

Jinyoung: do you doubt me?

Jaebeom: NO

Jaebeom: um

Jaebeom: just be gentle?

Jinyoung: We'll see

Jaebeom: yes love

97-Liners Groupchat

EarlyBird: so did anyone get in trouble?

EiffelPuppy: nope

Thaibaby: excuse me have you met jinyoung hyung

KookieMonster: hella freaky dude

KookieMonster: but let me tell you how SEXY jin hyung was UGH

KookieMonster: SEJIN HYUNG GOT NOTHING ON HIM

Greekgod: ditto about doyoung hyung

Greekgod: yes he's physically weaker than me

Greekgod: no i got nothing on him

EarlyBird: even mj hyung was fire

EarlyBird: i gotta show him some love

EarlyBird: he deserves it

HitTheYug: THEY ALL DO

Megaphone: imma show jeonghan hyung some love mm

Greekgod: hey hey before everyone goes and does their own freaky shit

Greekgod: you think we got caught?

Lostboy: dude we were all masked up and had hats on

Lostboy: no way

Greekgod: fair

Dispatch: BREAKING NEWS

The famous 97 liners were spotted today in two different locations after weeks of radio silence.

NCT's Jung Jaehyun, GOT7's Bambam and Yugyeom, and ASTRO's Cha Eunwoo were seen in the
local pharmacy while SEVENTEEN's Mingyu, DK, and The8, and BTS's Jeon Jungkook were seen
in the local supermarket.

All are wondering: have they been meeting in secret? And if so, where? Speculations of an
underground joint has risen up although no proof has been found. It is also suspected that even
invitees themselves do not know the whereabouts of the underground joint neither.

The waiting list continues to grow accumulating more important people.

We hope to receive a statement from the 97 liners for any updates or information.

97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: you know what

Greekgod: fuck it

Greekgod: people think I own a resort and I'm fine with it

Megaphone: seriously I am done hiding and avoiding you guys

Megaphone: fuck it

Thaibaby: hear hear!

KookieMonster: ooo which one of us should give a statement?

EarlyBird: I'll do it!

HitTheYug: atta boyyy

Lostboy: oo lets fuck with them

EiffelPuppy: ight here's what you'll tell them

Dispatch: BREAKING NEWS

We were able to get a statement from Cha Eunwoo himself!

 "Good evening! First I'd like to start by apologizing for any confusion the guys and I might have
caused.

As for the waiting list, we did not expect it to grow the size it did. The response that we got was
honestly very baffling yet flattering. For everyone who has shown interest we thank you
profoundly!

We have been asked for the next destination of our next trip and while we were hesitant on
revealing the information, in the end we decided to go ahead. Truthfully, we were planning to go to
Mars next and skydive there. It's a very unique experience!

And finally, for our underground joint, while it's meant to remain a secret we decided to give you a
hint for all the clever ones out there! You must find the one-eyed monkey that will have a gold key
around his neck. Once you catch the key (if you can catch the monkey), you will be able to open a
passage. The next hint will be there.

That is all! Thank you!"

Chapter End Notes

Pls I had to troll dispatch LMAO

QUESTION

Would you all like to see more dispatch shenanigans?

Also, if the 97 liners were to cause a nation-wide panic, what would they have done?
 Of Dating and Controversies
Chapter Summary

In which, they get into a dating controversy.

Pt. 1

ren_akira suggested: "dating controversy when they all just confused on the group
chat.."

Chapter Notes

EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Lostboy: The8
Megaphone: DK
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
KookieMonster: Jungkook
Greekgod: Jaehyun
EarlyBird: Eunwoo

When I tell you guys I have a trainwreck of an idea coming towards you guys

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Day 1:

97-Liners Groupchat

HitTheYug: @EarlyBird where the fuck are you minghao and I have been here for an hour now

EarlyBird: sorry guys I got caught up at the company bc of an acting contract

EarlyBird: I'll be there in 20 mins

Lostboy: well shit I have to leave in 10

EarlyBird: I'm sorryyyy :((

EarlyBird: I didn't expect this to take so long

EarlyBird: yug you're leaving too?

HitTheYug: no I can stay!!

EarlyBird: i'm leaving in 2 mins!!

Lostboy: you owe me a hangout bird boy

EarlyBird: I'll buy your drink next time promise

Lostboy: :D

Dispatch: BREAKING NEWS

Are GOT7's Yugyeom and SEVENTEEN's Minghao dating?

The two were seen today having lunch at Paws Cat Café. Eventually, Xu Minghao stands up to
leave to which Kim Yugyeom parts ways with by giving him a loving hug and a light tap on the
butt.

Is this normal friend behavior?

But it doesn't end there!

ASTRO's Cha Eunwoo met up with Yugyeom after The8 left. Yugyeom greeted him with an intimate
hug, his hand caressing his back.

Is GOT7's Yugyeom dating Eunwoo or Minghao? Is he cheating on Minghao?

We are preplexed with our findings. However, we hope to acquire more information about the
situation.

Stay tuned to track this shocking story!

97-Liners Groupchat

HitTheYug: [Link]

HitTheYug: CANT A MAN HUG HIS FRIENDS IN PEACE???

KookieMonster: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

Megaphone: I'M CRYING

Lostboy: HOW DARE YOU CHEAT ON ME KIM YUGYEOM?

HitTheYug: IM SORRY BABY

EarlyBird: SO I'M THE SIDE HOE????

HitTheYug: IM

Thaibaby: I CANT

Thaibaby: THEY CHOSE THE MOST INNOCENT BABY EVER TO MAKE HIM A
CHEATER??

Thaibaby: yugyeom I love you baby

Greekgod: HAHAHAHHAHA

Greekgod: caressing his back huh

HitTheYug: HE HAD DUST ON THE BACK OF HIS JACKET WHICH I REMOVED

EarlyBird: he speaks truth I leaned on a dusty street lamp

Megaphone: why is this so entertaining

HitTheYug: yeah excuse me while I try to explain this to my members

Thaibaby: already did and theyre laughing their asses off

GOT7 Groupchat

Jackson: IM CRYING

Jackson: I CANT BREATHE

Bambam: see?

Yugyeom: im mortified omg

Youngjae: THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING IVE SEEN IN A WHILE

Yugyeom: HYUNG NOT YOU TOO

Mark: I LOVE THIS

Yugyeom: although lowkey glad you guys are finding this funny instead of being angry about it

Jinyoung: baby..

Jinyoung: if you and the guys never dated back when you fucked around why would you now?

Yugyeom: I know Im sorry I shouldnt have brought up the past

Jaebum: no baby you have every right to do so

Jaebum: but what's important right now is for you to understand that we know you would never do
that much less cheat on anyone???

Yugyeom: thank you :(

Yugyeom: managements probably flipping omg

Jaebum: don't worry about it

Yugyeom: love youuu

Leaders Groupchat

Seungcheol: IVE GOT BEEF WITH YOU @JB

Seungcheol: HOW DARE YUGYEOM CHEAT ON MY BABY LIKE THIS

JB: BITCH MY BABY DID NOTHING WRONG

Taeyong: i can't believe Eunwoo of all people is the side hoe

JinJin: EXCUSE ME HE HAS WAY MORE DIGNITY THAN THAT

JinJin: WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT MINGHAO ISNT THE SIDE HOE

Namjoon: this is the most entertainment I've had in a while honestly

Taeyong: literally same

JinJin: i was busy busting a lung to be mad

Seungcheol: what now though?

JB: Honestly it would be hilarious if they decided to mess with dispatch

97-Liners Groupchat

KookieMonster: so obviously we're gonna mess with dispatch right

EiffelPuppy: obviously

Thaibaby: duh

Lostboy: of course??

Greekgod: yup

EarlyBird: in

Megaphone: what's the plan?

Greekgod: okay first let's inform our respective members

Greekgod: then we reconvene

EarlyBird: right

BTS Groupchat
Jungkook: my friends and I want to mess with dispatch

Jungkook: is that okay

Yoongi: hobi and jimin are still on the floor laughing after reading yugyeoms article

Jin: idk how you and your friends always get into situations like these but I'm pretty sure this is
will be entertainment for the entire kpop industry

Namjoon: agreed

Jungkook: love you allllll

Taehyung: love you too baby

Seventeen Groupchat

The8: since im the one being cheated on :(

Dino: HAHAHAHAHAH

The8: the guys and I will be messing with dispatch

Seungcheol: did you somehow read our minds???

DK: ???

Mingyu: leader hyungs?

Seungcheol: yup

Seungkwan: HYUNGS PLEASE DO

Vernon: WE'RE BEGGING

NCT Groupchat

Ten: so whats up with the caress ;)

Jaehyun: [image]

Johnny: makes more sense

Jaehyun: subsequently

Jaehyun: should we mess with dispatch?

Taeyong: jaehyun as your leader I feel obligated to state my opinion on this

Taeyong: please do.

 Taeyong: fucking make out with them for all I care

Lucas: OH SHIT HAHAHAHHA

Jaehyun: we'll make you proud ;)

ASTRO Groupchat

Eunwoo: I refuse to be the side hoe

Rocky: honestly hyung I thought you had more finesse than that

JinJin: leader hyungs and I are wondering if you're gonna do something about it??

Sanha: OO ARE YOU

Moonbin: PLEASE SAY YOU ARE

Eunwoo: of course???

Eunwoo: do you doubt us?

MJ: im pretty sure we shouldnt be encouraging this

JinJin: oh whatever

GOT7 Groupchat

Bambam: anyways we decided to mess with them

JB: I'm convinced you read my chats

Yugyeom: WE KNEW YOU'D TALK TO LEADER HYUNGS

JB: Of course??

Bambam: management tho?

JB: We'll deal with them don't worry about it

Chapter End Notes

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

The fun I had writing this omg

Just to clarify: yes requests are closed however once I saw this suggestion my mind
when ballistic and I had to credit!
Hope you enjoy!
 Of Comments and Couples
Chapter Summary

Of Dating and Controversies Pt. 2

Chapter Notes

EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Lostboy: The8
Megaphone: DK
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
KookieMonster: Jungkook
Greekgod: Jaehyun
EarlyBird: Eunwoo

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Day 5:

97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: @KookieMonster @Lostboy we meet at 3 in the park?

Lostboy: yup

KookieMonster: yup

Thaibaby: @Megaphone @EiffelPuppy meet at 4?

Megaphone: you got it

EiffelPuppy: yupp

Dispatch: BREAKING NEWS

Another couple revealed?

This afternoon, BTS's Jungkook, NCT's Jaehyun, and SEVENTEEN's The8 were spotted in a
secluded park. Jungkook and Jaehyun seemed to be comforting a distraught Minghao, likely
devastated about yesterday's news.

Jungkook even kissed Minghao's cheek?

Minghao eventually leaves, leaving Jungkook and Jaehyun alone. It is then that our reporters
caught Jaehyun leaning in almost KISSING Jungkook if it weren't for the interruption.

The story doesn't end there!

GOT7's Bambam arrives along with SEVENTEEN's DK and Mingyu. The meeting between the two
parties seemed tense as they glare at each other!

Jaehyun eventually pulls Jungkook, wrapping an arm snugly around his waist and together they
leave the park.

And yet, it still doesn't end there!

Upon following the couple, we discovered that Mingyu has followed them as well. Jaehyun and
Jungkook part ways and then Mingyu pulls Jungkook roughly behind a pillar! Our cameras
unfortunately couldn't catch what happened but it was noted that Jungkook was left looking all
breathless and slightly disheveled.

Fans are heavily invested as well, with various opinions:

gyugyeom said: anyone else finding jae kook and gyus story hella sus? The sexual tension between
jae and gyu thooooo

chaesta⁷ said: THEY SHOULD STOP MANHANDLING JUNGKOOK LIKE A RAGDOLL

Could this be the end of the famous 97 liners' friendship?

Private Chat: Nayeon and Yugyeom

Nayeon: I thought you were dating GOT7?

Yugyeom: I am

Nayeon: so what are the articles

Yugyeom: we're messing with dispatch

Nayeon: i love you

Yugyeom: :DDDD

Nayeon: let me tell you how heavily invested we all are in this

Nayeon: I'm spreading the word omg

Yugyeom: as long as dispatch and the public doesnt find out noona

Nayeon: pft

Private Chat: IU and Yoongi

IU: Your dongsaeng and his friends are single-handedly providing the best entertainment for us all

IU: serves dispatch right.

Yoongi: i know??

Yoongi: how'd you find out tho

IU: Nayeon told jennie who told yeri who told irene who told me

IU: you know

IU: friendships after jeju island

Yoongi: ah yes

Yoongi: and the fact that he invited you still baffles me

Yoongi: he doesn't invite me :(

IU: Sucks to be you

Yoongi: JIEUN

Day 12:

Megaphone: so who's coming to the pub with me today?

EarlyBird: me

Thaibaby: me

Megaphone: nice

Dispatch: BREAKING NEWS

New spicy updates were collected today regarding the 97 liners!

And this one is truly spicy folks!

[Video]

GOT7's Bambam was seen leaving the pub late at night looking all disheveled and tipsy. Mere
moments after, SEVENTEEN's DK leaves the pub as well looking in a manner too suspiciously
close to Bambam's.

Is this another couple?

But it doesn't end there!

Moments after, ASTRO's Cha Eunwoo leaves the pub as well! It is then that GOT7's Yugyeom
pulls up seemingly to pick up his band member.

However, instead of only doing that, Yugyeom exits his car and SLAPS Cha Eunwoo hard across
the cheek!

It was speculated that Yugyeom was the one cheating on both Eunwoo and Minghao, so why would
he slap Eunwoo? Have more events transpired behind the scenes?

#yugrights and #eunwoorights have trended in over 10 countries, fans taking their favorites' sides.

We hope to receive statements from their companies to clarify the situation. Watch the slap in the
above video!

97-Liners Groupchat

HitTheYug: @EarlyBird geniunely sorry if I hurt you bro

EarlyBird: omg don't worry about it

EarlyBird: i was too busy being impressed

Megaphone: SO WAS I

Thaibaby: yug maybe you should slap me ;)

Greekgod: aaaaaaand it turned freaky

EiffelPuppy: as if you didn't know it would

Private Chat: Jungkook and Soobin

Soobin: hyung

Soobin: please tell yugyeom hyung that that slap was ICONIC

Jungkook: im guessing the entire kpop industry knows what we're doing by now

Soobin: OBVIOUSLY

Soobin: YOU'RE EVERYONE'S HEROES RIGHT NOW

Jungkook: why thank you

Soobin: the guys and I were also wondering when's the next jeju island trip...?

Jungkook: and you think I would know?

Jungkook: these things come out of the blue

Jungkook: but you're definitely more than welcome whenever!!

Soobin: Ha ateez is gonna be so jealous to know we have that privilege

Jungkook: Bruh

Private Chat: Bang Chan and Bambam

Chan: bruh how hard was that slap actually

Bambam: listen

Bambam: no idea

Bambam: but it was hot ngl

Chan: it was iconic

Chan: felix and han are still laughing

Chan: im pretty sure hyunjin and jeongin bust a lung

Bambam: glad we're a source of entertainment for you

Chan: oh you have no idea

Leaders Groupchat

Seungcheol: anyone else's managements gave up?

Taeyong: having the KCIA on our side really made things easier

Namjoon: guys like even bang pd is heavily invested in this right now

JinJin: well serves dispatch right

JB: yup

JB: when I tell you this is the only thing you hear being talked about in all of JYPE

Taeyong: I believe you bc its the same at SM

Seungcheol: the 97 liners doing gods work

Namjoon: amazing truly

Day 20:

Private Chat: Jaehyun and Jaemin

Jaemin: hyung
Jaemin: any spoilers for the next act pleaseee

Jaehyun: so you can tell the dreamies, txt, and stray kids who in turn will tell ateez, enhypen, the
boyz, and btob?

Jaehyun: no way

Jaemin: PLEASE

Jaehyun: lips sealed

Jaehyun: you'll have to wait for the article

Jaemin: :(

97-Liners Groupchat

EiffelPuppy: someone remind me what's today plan?

Greekgod: you and I are fighting

EiffelPuppy: right right

EiffelPuppy: over what

Greekgod: kook and seok

Greekgod: duh

Megaphone: feeling so flattered rn :')

KookieMonster: right?

Dispatch: BREAKING NEWS

Things get even more physical!

[Video]

NCT's Jaehyun and SEVENTEEN's DK were spotted standing next to each other at a small bakery.
SEVENTEEN's Mingyu entered the bakery as well and halted when he saw the couple together.
Jaehyun then wiped the corner of Seokmin's mouth with his thumb which apparently set Mingyu
off.

Mingyu pushed Jaehyun away from Seokmin! In turn, Jaehyun grabbed Mingyu by the lapels of his
shirt, too close for comfort.

Seokmin steps in breaking the two apart and then slaps the two in public and yells at them for
being childish, so says the cashier when we asked her. Eventually, he leaves with his band
member, leaving Jaehyun alone.
Fans seem to have their own speculations as well:

babygyeom said: besties??? im kinda starting to think they all datin tbh

Kookieeeeesss said: polyamory? Something sus going on between these 8

seoksbluesocks said: seokmin doing gods work

The events seem to escalate the more we follow the 97 liners. What exactly is going on? Why aren't
their companies saying anything? Why haven't their respective members stepped in?

NCT Groupchat

Ten: @Jaehyun im thinking that maybe you should grab me like that ;))))

Jungwoo: horny

Ten: problem?

Jungwoo: no i agree

Jaehyun: oh my god

Seventeen Groupchat

Hoshi: bro I'm confused now

Hoshi: is gyu the cheater or jaehyun?

DK: none of them obviously??

Vernon: the fuck

Vernon: okay so we lost the story but im still still here for the drama

The8: all will be explained in due time

Joshua: just to be clear tho

Joshua: you guys have a plot?

Mingyu: obviously?

Mingyu: we're not amateurs

The8: and a very clear one if you ask us

Day 23:
Dispatch: BREAKING NEWS

Is this bigger than we thought?

Our team managed to get in contact with SM Entertainment's leadership.

Lee Sooman himself agreed to give a statement!

"No comment. We are not involved."

Lee Sooman refused to elaborate further, thus leaving us with no information.

Our team then got in contact with JYP Entertainment's CEO who gave a similar statement.

"We will not be commenting."

HYBE's leadership, (including Pledis Entertainment) upon countless requests, gave a short
statement as well:

"We are not involved and will be making no comments. However, we support our artists' personal
choices."

Fantagio's leadership has yet to make a statement, however, it is obvious that the companies refuse
to get involved.

We hoped statements from the companies would offer more clarity however they have only served
to confuse us further.

Stay tuned for more information!

BTS Groupchat

Jungkook: bang pd made a statement??

Namjoon: baby bang pd has people following dispatch to live footage of them scrambling while he
laughs his ass off in his office

Jungkook: omg seriously???

Jin: when I tell you you guys are providing the best entertainment for everyone you best believe it

Jimin: im pretty sure hes considering making you guys a reality show

Jungkook: HAHAHAHHA

Taehyung: anyways whats your next plannnn

Jungkook: wouldnt you like to know

Taehyung: yes actually thats why im asking??

Jungkook: stay tuned! :)

Chapter End Notes

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

I did say this was a trainwreck LMAO

 Of Plots and Endings
Chapter Summary

Of Dating and Controversies Pt. 3

Chapter Notes

Greekgod: Jaehyun
KookieMonster: Jungkook
EarlyBird: Eunwoo
Lostboy: The8
Megaphone: DK
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Day 30:

EarlyBird: final day?

EiffelPuppy: yup

Thaibaby: its been fun lads

Lostboy: absolutely

KookieMonster: eunwoo youre making the statement later on right

EarlyBird: when did I become the official spokesperson of the group

Greekgod: you're perfect for it baby

EarlyBird: YOU CAN DO IT TOO

HitTheYug: love you eunwooooo

EarlyBird: hush

Megaphone: who's buying them again?

Lostboy: I am

~
Dispatch: BREAKING NEWS

Happy ending?

Our team spotted SEVENTEEN's The8 leaving a flowershop with 7 individual bouquets! Upon
approaching him, we managed to hold a conversation with him!

"The bouquets that you see with me are for some very special people to me. I won't give any
further information as we will be making an official statement later on! Thank you!"

The8 seemed very pleasant, none of the distraught that we've seen before.

#flowerboy8 has trended on twitter as fans claimed Minghao looked so sweet carrying all the rose
bouquets.

We look forward to the statement!

Day 31:

Dispatch: ASTRO's Cha Eunwoo has made a statement!

"Hello. First, I'd like to start by apologizing to the public who I know the guys and I have
confused.

Our private lives have been publicized, something that we didn't realize in the heat of the moment,
and while we realize that things may have seemed bad, I would like to note that not everything
shown is what it seems.

The relationship between the 8 of us has never been better! The guys are some of the closest people
to me, outside of my group members, and I truthfully can't imagine my life without them. It
certainly would be much more boring.

I'd like to thank each one of them. They're my bestfriends, even my brothers. I'm lucky to have them
in my life as family.

Thank you for listening!"

And there you have it, everyone!

#97linerfamily has trended with fans expressing their support to the 97 liner friendship.

haohaolove said: HAHAHAHAHHA gotta love the 97 liners man #97linerfamily

chaeunwoosskincareroutine said: only the 97 liners could pull it off LMAOO #97linerfamily

doublebstan said: you do not understand how heavily invested I was in this

We have decided to refrain from pursuing the 97 liners' relationship further in respect of their
privacy.

97-Liners Groupchat
Lostboy: EUNWOO AWWWW

Lostboy: we love you too buddy

EarlyBird: I knew this was gonna bite me in the ass

EiffelPuppy: DONGMIN BABY

EarlyBird: NO STOP

EiffelPuppy: MY LOVE

HitTheYug: MY BROTHER

EarlyBird: FUCK YOU ALL

Thaibaby: forreal tho what he said was right

Greekgod: what's all this lovey dovey shit

Megaphone: EVERYONE COME HERE AND LET ME LOVE YOU

KookieMonster: we're family after all no?

EarlyBird: i hate

KookieMonster: you dont ;)

GOT7 Groupchat

Jackson: DISPATCH GAVE UP?

Jackson: LMAOOOOO

Youngjae: now thats talent

Jinyoung: i applaud you honestly

Bambam: thank you thank you

Yugyeom: its been a blast truly

Mark: oh its been a blast for us bravo

Jaebeom: I couldn't be prouder

Bambam: :DDDD

Seventeen Groupchat

Seungcheol: @DK @Mingyu @The8 you three owe us an explanation now

Woozi: yes please we've been dying to know

Mingyu: ah yes

The8: okay so it starts with yugyeom and i confessing our feelings towards each other and deciding
to give it shot

Seungkwan: aww puppy love

The8: what i didnt know was that yug and eunwoo also had feelings for each other so when
eunwoo met up with yug he confessed his interest in him and yug accepted

Wonwoo: this bitch

Mingyu: ming finds out through dispatch that yugyeom and eunwoo are together and gets
heartbroken

Mingyu: jaehyun and jungkook who have started a fling together meet up with minghao to comfort
him

Mingyu: what he doesn't know though is that they both have an interest in minghao as well and
have agreed amongst each other to share

Jeonghan: everyone thirsting over minghao as they should

The8: hyung im blushing

Jeonghan: as you should

The8: HYUNG

Vernon: aw hes so red

Mingyu: yummy

Mingyu: ANYWAYS

Mingyu: this is when seokmin bambam and i arrive to where the three were

Mingyu: jae suspects that jungkook and i have something going but doesnt have 100% percent
proof

Mingyu: that's why we have beef with each other

Mingyu: feeling possessive, jae picks up kook wrapping an arm around his waist and leads him
away specifically from me

Mingyu: but i follow them because I'm jealous and possessive

Jun: a man on a mission

Mingyu: and i pull kook behind the pillar when jaehyun was gone

Mingyu: there I kiss him senseless to remind him that he currently belongs to me
Dino: HOT

Dino: SO FUCKING HOT

Dino: HYUNG KISS ME

DK: after story time baby

Dino: okay :)

DK: so bambam and I have a fling

DK: is it serious? Is it not? We're not sure but we were having fun

DK: Due to dispatch eunwoo found out about minghao and yugyeom

DK: he's also heartbroken and decides to get revenge on yugyeom by joining us

DK: so I fuck around with eunwoo but bam feels guilty and decides to call yugyeom and tell him
what eunwoos doing

Hoshi: bruh this is a full-fledged movie wtf

DK: so yug gets angry and drives to the pub to pick bambam up

DK: There he confronts eunwoo and that's why the iconic slap happens

Joshua: supporting yug on this wtf

Jeonghan: no??

Jeonghan: yugs cheating on eunwoo with minghao

Wonwoo: wrong he's cheating on minghao with eunwoo

Jeonghan: semantics

The8: agreed with wonwoo hyung

Joshua: hush you have half of the boys thirsting over you anyways you hoe

The8: your hoe

Joshua: ;)

DK: so because bam and I arent exclusive im technically a free bird

DK: so when jaehyun invites me to the bakery for a casual date I naturally agree

Woozi: sounds like you're the only one having fun

Mingyu: hm actually yeah you're right

DK: wow even I was too caught up in the moment to notice

The8: to continue

The8: jae proposes that he and seok have a fling together to which seok agrees

The8: mingyu visits the same bakery and see the two together

The8: he gets mad when jae makes an elaborate show of wiping seoks mouth seductively with his
finger because how dare jae pursue not only kook, but also two of this group members!!

Seungcheol: no seriously how dare he

Jun: so like is jaehyun the bad guy in this story?

Mingyu: i mean if you really wanna think about it we all are

Woozi: that's true

The8: in reality though, mingyu has unexplored feelings for jaehyun so hes also jealous

Vernon: I KNEW IT HA

The8: he pushes jae away from seokmin and then jae grabs him by the collar

The8: the sexual tension by then is suffocating and its up to seok to break them up before they
decide to either throwdown in the shop or makeout in the shop

Hoshi: i don't know which one would've been worse tbh

Seungkwan: good question hyung

The8: seok does that and yells at them for being childish and leaves with mingyu in tow to set him
straight

Seungcheol: so how did the conclusion come to be?

Mingyu: the 8 of us agreed to spend some time apart and reflect

Mingyu: upon reflecting, we realized that our feelings actually ran deeper than it seemed and we
geniunely did care about each other

Mingyu: so we decided to have a talk and realized we're all involved somehow with each other so
it would make sense to pursue a polygamorous relationship with each other

Mingyu: and the bouquets symbolized the start of a beautiful relationship

Seungcheol: honestly?

Seungcheol: a round of applause for you 8

Seungcheol: not only you messed with dispatch, you made them give up on you which is a feat on
its own, let management and the CEOs be on your side which is another feat on its own, and were
single-handedly responsible for the best entertainment the entire kpop industry has scene

Jeonghan: to say we're impressed would be an understatement honestly

DK: we're blushing aww

The8: thank you thank you its been a wild ride

Wonwoo: speaking of wild ride

Wonwoo: care for the three of you to join us in the bedroom now? ;)

Mingyu: COMING

Seungcheol: go ahead I have work to do

DK: leader hyungs?

Seungcheol: yup

Seungcheol: they gotta know the story because knowing them they probably jumped straight to the
bedroom

The8: fair lmaooooo

97-Liners Groupchat

EiffelPuppy: are we ever gonna make our story public?

Thaibaby: NO

Thaibaby: THIS IS KPOP LORE NOW

Thaibaby: only existing idols and idols who make it can know

Greekgod: i have a feeling the kpop community already knows given the fact I heard shinee
already whispering about it

Megaphone: damn that was fast

KookieMonster: dude anyone else receiving so many messages congratulating and thanking us?

EarlyBird: I'm pretty sure all of our phones have been blowing up

HitTheYug: confirmed

Lostboy: anyways guys

Lostboy: that was brilliant of us if I do say so myself

Thaibaby: and hella fun

HitTheYug: HELLA

EarlyBird: to more chaos like this lads

 Greekgod: cheers to that

KookieMonster: wanna get together and have some drinks?

EiffelPuppy: I'm in

EiffelPuppy: ahjumma's?

EarlyBird: oo yes please

Megaphone: heyy lets take our members with us

Thaibaby: issa whole ass party

Greekgod: done

Chapter End Notes

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

Dedicated to those waiting for that damned plot

 Of Hostages and Mafias
Chapter Summary

In which, someone asks for help.

Chapter Notes

EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Megaphone: DK
Lostboy: The8
KookieMonster: Jungkook
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
EarlyBird: Eunwoo
Greekgod: Jaehyun

Oh boy, another trainwreck coming through!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Dispatch: BREAKING NEWS

EXO's Oh Sehun is a mafia leader?!

Our team has spotted Oh Sehun holding what appeared to be a gun tucked under his clothes as he
headed to a very run-down neighborhood. Some are trying to speculate what business would he
have there? He appeared to be wary of his surroundings, and was keen on not being followed.

Upon entering the neighborhood, our team unfortunately could not gather any more intel.

Stay tuned for more updates .

EXO Groupchat

Suho: [Link]

Suho: SEHUN WHAT

Sehun: WHAT

Kai: WHAT IS THIS

Sehun: I DONT KNOW??

Baekhyun: how the fuck....

Kyungsoo: BRO HOW

Sehun: I

Sehun: DONT

Sehun: KNOW

Chen: how'd you manage to get into a scandal worse than mine?

Sehun: HYUNG STOP

Xiumin: how the fuck are we gonna clear your name

Sehun: pls help me

Lay: baby does it look like we know what to do?

Lay: management's probably gonna ignore this

Baekhyun: wait

Baekhyun: I have an idea

Sehun: ????

97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: 97 LINERS

Greekgod: GATHER FRONT AND CENTER

Greekgod: NOW

Lostboy: oh shit yes sir

KookieMonster: YES SIR

Thaibaby: YES GENERAL

EiffelPuppy: PRESENT SIR

EarlyBird: HERE GENERAL

HitTheYug: PRESENT GENERAL

Megaphone: YES SIR

Greekgod: Someone needs our help

EiffelPuppy: why ours

Greekgod: he was involved in a false scandal and has enlisted our help

HitTheYug: dispatch?

Greekgod: yes

EarlyBird: ah yes our speciality apparently

EiffelPuppy: ight send some details so we know what to do

Greekgod: [Link]

Greekgod: read this

[Greekgod added Sehun to the group]

Sehun: um hello

Thaibaby: so

Thaibaby: a mafia leader huh

Megaphone: BAM WHERE'S THE FINESSS

Thaibaby: BRO THERES NO FINESSE IN THIS SITUATION

Lostboy: fair honestly

EiffelPuppy: anyways how'd you get to us

Sehun: I told my members who told taeyong who told jaehyun who told you guys

Sehun: your dispatch saga was fucking iconic

Sehun: please help me

HitTheYug: bro a gun??

Sehun: THAT WAS MY PHONE

Megaphone: sus behavior

Sehun: CHECKING FOR DISPATCH

KookieMonster: WELL CLEARLY YOU DIDNT DO A GOOD JOB

Sehun: DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT

EarlyBird: shady neighborhood???

EarlyBird: why would you go there in the first place???

Sehun: I WAS GOING TO GET RAMEN

Greekgod: RAMEN?

Greekgod: IN A SHADY NEIGHBORHOOD?

Sehun: IT'S GOT THE BEST RAMEN

Lostboy: IN A SHADY NEIGHBORHOOD?

Sehun: IT'S A HOLE IN THE WALL PLACE

HitTheYug: IN A SHADY NEIGHBORHOOD

Sehun: YES IN A SHADY NEIGHBORHOOD I USED TO GO THERE AS A TRAINEE

OKAY

KookieMonster: now i kinda wanna taste this to see if all that was worth it

Megaphone: right??

Megaphone: like how good could it be

Sehun: really good if this dies down I'm taking y'all my treat

Sehun: promise

Sehun: will you please help me

Thaibaby: of course???

Thaibaby: aint no one gonna be wronged by dispatch like this on our watch

Lostboy: truth right there

Sehun: thank you so much

EarlyBird: but our help comes with one very important rule

Sehun: okay.....

EarlyBird: you do everything we tell you.

Sehun: should i be scared?

EiffelPuppy: if you're a sane person yes

Greekgod: but yes that is our condition

Sehun: okay.

Sehun: I'm in.

Megaphone: fully?
Sehun: fully.

KookieMonster: okay hyung

KookieMonster: do you have access to you and your members' lotto music video wardrobe and
props

Sehun: I don't know if they'll let me access the archives

Lostboy: of course SM has an archive

KookieMonster: you realize HYBE has one too right

EiffelPuppy: wait what

KookieMonster: yup

KookieMonster: each group has their own storage

Megaphone: holy shit

EarlyBird: ANYWAYS

EarlyBird: jaehyun work your magic and get access

Sehun: how the fuck are you gonna get access to the archives

Greekgod: 1) we have lee sooman's good grace after the stunt we pulled two months ago

Greekgod: 2) i have doyoung

Greekgod: 3) Irene noona will love this

Sehun: that's honestly very fair

HitTheYug: see

EarlyBird: second order of business

EarlyBird: we need to order several things

Sehun: order what exactly....

Thaibaby: toy guns, black spray paint, cigars, life-sized dolls, etc...

Sehun: WHAT

Sehun: I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA DIE THIS DOWN

Lostboy: oh no honey

Lostboy: we're blowing it up

~
Dispatch: BREAKING NEWS

Proof that EXO's Oh Sehun is a mafia leader?

EXO's Oh Sehun has been reported to perform suspicious activities. Sehun has been reported to be
seen walking with body guards, each holding big briefcases to a meeting.

Our sources were not able to see who he had met, however they were able to confirm that the
briefcases contained guns. Therefore we deduce that it was an arms deal.

Later on, our sources were able to get hold of information that states the police went and
investigated with Sehun. However, they soon left leaving Sehun alone.

These are all the developments we have so fair, stay tuned for more!

ASTRO Groupchat

Moonbin: guys has anyone seen whats happening with Sehun sunbaenim?

Rocky: that's so crazy honestly

Sanha: is he deadass involved with the mafia?

Eunwoo: obviously not

Jinwoo: why the actual fuck would he be involved with the mafia??

Sanha: idk the bodyguards thing was kinda sus

MJ: those were the 97 liners

Rocky: WAIT WHAT

Moonbin: WAIT SO WHOS THE GUY HE MET

Eunwoo: me obviously

Moonbin: WHAT

Moonbin: HOW

Sanha: AND WHY DO HYUNGS KNOW AND WE DONT

JinJin: sehun sunbaenim asked taeyong hyung to ask jaehyun for the 97 liners' help

JinJin: so obviously taeyong told us leaders

MJ: and jaehyun asked doyoung for help with management to access archives and whatever

MJ: so doyoung asked for our help as well

MJ: duh
Rocky: eunwoo hyung you and your friends are all insane

Eunwoo: baby you just discovered?

Moonbin: can we please see you in a mafia get up now?

Moonbin: cigar and everything

Jinwoo: I'm sensing a kink there

Moonbin: OH LIKE YOU WOULDNT WANNA SEE IT TOO

Jinwoo: i never said i wouldnt

Sanha: thats the spirit

Eunwoo: thirsty

EXO Groupchat

Xiumin: dude where the fuck did you get the whole get up for you and your bodyguards anyways

Sehun: lotto props and wardrobe from the archives

Suho: what

Suho: I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GO THERE FOR YEARS

Chanyeol: HOW THE FUCK

Lay: i heard the only people allowed there were boa and irene noonas???

Sehun: kai wasn't kidding when he said the 97 liners got connections what the fuck

Kai: yup and I happen to know this fact from both taeyong and jimin

Kyungsoo: to be fair anyone who manages to get dispatch off their backs is a god in my opinion so

Baekhyun: where'd you get the bodyguards from anyways

Sehun: babe they're the 97 liners

Chen: what

Chen: THEY WERE UNRECOGNIZABLE

Sehun: man even I was impressed

Baekhyun: anyone highkey impressed and lowkey scared of the 97 liners?

Sehun: IT WAS YOUR IDEA

Baekhyun: I KNOW
Baekhyun: STILL

97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: I'm pleased to report that phase one was successful

Sehun: wait pause

Sehun: that was phase one?!

Thaibaby: obviously?

Sehun: oh my god

Megaphone: you have exactly 2 minutes to get over your existential crisis before we move onto
phase two

KookieMonster: my favorite part is that the police are in on this

Lostboy: right???

Lostboy: who knew theyd have a blast

Sehun: okay I'm over my existential crisis

Sehun: yes I never thought I'd be in cahoots with the police and yet here we are

EarlyBird: okay for phase two

EarlyBird: yug is your car out of the repair shop yet

HitTheYug: yup yup

EarlyBird: and did you guys rent out that warehouse we talked about

EiffelPuppy: done

Sehun: wait what exactly are we doing?

Greekgod: sigh

Dispatch: BREAKING NEWS

Oh Sehun was spotted going into an abandoned warehouse today. He was accompanied by a
driver and his bodyguards who seemed to be leading three imprisoned victims into the warehouse.
Sources could not see the victims as their heads were covered and were dressed in a similarly
baggy fashion.

It is reported that screams were heard before three loud bangs issued in the warehouse. Half an
hour later, Sehun and his bodyguards were seen leaving the warehouse.
After his depart, our team managed to enter the premises, however there was no evidence of any of
the events that had transpired inside.

Stay tuned for more updates on this shocking turn of events.

GOT7 Groupchat

Mark: once again

Mark: entertainment for all us

Yugyeom: apparently this is what we specialize in

Bambam: 97 Liners: Crackheads, Bane of Dispatch, and HKPS Enthusiasts

Yugyeom: nice

Mark: please tell us what the fuck is HKPS we're dying

Yugyeom: no can do hyung

Youngjae: where'd you rent a warehouse from??

Yugyeom: gyu knows a guy

Jackson: omg details please Im dying to know

Jaebeom: so is the leaders groupchat

Jinyoung: and the KCIA so spill

Bambam: so yug and kook were the designated drivers

Bambam: Eunwoo jaehyun and gyu were the bodyguards

Bambam: which left seok ming and i to be the 'victims'

Yugyeom: yup

Yugyeom: once we were in there there were these very big metal containers that we hit to mimic
the bang

Yugyeom: once we did that the victims ran out the backdoor that dispatch didnt know of and
waited for the guys to pick us up

Jaebeom: wait a second theres barely anything to hide behind there

Jaebeom: what did you hide in the bushes or something

Yugyeom: exactly

Youngjae: the dedication???

Jackson: no fucking way

Bambam: i still find random leaves on me

Jinyoung: that does explain why I found leaves in your room

Bambam: yup

EXO Groupchat

Kai: this is gonna sound suspicious

Kai: but anyone else simping on the 97 liners?

Baekhyun: me

Suho: me

Chanyeol: me

Kyungsoo: me

Lay: me

Xiumin: me

Sehun: god definitely me

Sehun: being in the group with them is a whole different level

Kai: glad we're on the same page

Leaders Groupchat

[Taeyong added Suho to the groupchat]

Suho: um hi?

Seungcheol: we happen to be very possessive on our respective 97 liners

Namjoon: so we suggest keeping any 'thoughts' you might have to yourselves

JB: we hope our message is clear sunbaenim

JinJin: you should also be grateful the KCIA didnt get involved

Taeyong: is the message understood hyung?

Suho: crystal

JinJin: side note big fan of your work sunbaenim!

JinJin: truly an honor to talk to you

Suho: aw thank you!

Suho: you can all call me hyung

Seungcheol: nice

[Taeyong removed Suho out of the group]

Dispatch: BREAKING NEWS

Suspicious activity from Oh Sehun's apartment!

It was reported that screams were heard in Sehun's apartment after loud bangs resonated.

Source of bangs are unknown however, our team is working extensively on gathering information.

97-Liners Groupchat

KookieMonster: [Link]

KookieMonster: wait pause was this a part of the plan that I didnt know of??

HitTheYug: uh no?????

Greekgod: the fuck

EiffelPuppy: hyung explain?

Sehun: yeah um that might've been mine and chanyeol hyung's fault

Lostboy: okay....

Sehun: we decided to play basketball

Thaibaby: indoors?

Sehun: yes?

EarlyBird: look me in the eye and tell me you thought this was a good idea

Sehun: ......

Megaphone: anyways what happened?

Sehun: the closet may have fell over, hitting the TV and tables

HitTheYug: and I thought we were chaotic damn

Greekgod: ironically this actually feeds into our plan so in a twist of events I say good job hyung
Sehun: damn thank you

Lostboy: so onto phase 3? 4?

Thaibaby: we can count this as half of a phase

Lostboy: so phase 3 and a half

Megaphone: lets just call it the final phase damn

EarlyBird: hyung have you memorized your statement?

Sehun: yes

KookieMonster: okay ive already tipped off dispatch on location and time

Greekgod: good

Greekgod: LET'S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD

Lostboy: YES SIR

Megaphone: YES SIR

HitTheYug: YES SIR

EarlyBird: YES SIR

KookieMonster: YES SIR

Thaibaby: YES SIR

EiffelPuppy: YES SIR

Sehun: YES SIR

Dispatch: BREAKING NEWS

None of it was real.

[Video]

Our team was tipped off that Oh Sehun will be present in another abandoned location for another
arms and drugs deal. Upon arriving there, our team was greeted warmly by Sehun who smoked an
expensive cigar and wore a large fur coat adorned with jewels and his masked bodyguards, and
noted the presence of four hostages, bound and heads covered.

Sehun and his bodyguards open the briefcases, taking black sleek guns out of them and aiming
them at our team. Our team braces for fire however upon firing BUBBLES shoot out of the
muzzles.

The masked bodyguards take off their masks to reveal their identities who happened to be none
other than BTS' Jeon Jungkook, NCT's Jung Jaehyun, ASTRO's Cha Eunwoo, and SEVENTEEN's
Kim Mingyu. The hostages easily untie themselves and take off the bags on the head to reveal
themselves to be GOT7's Kim Yugyeom and Bambam, and SEVENTEEN's DK and The8.

[Video]

Sehun then gave a statement:

"Hello, everyone!

This is EXO's Oh Sehun. I'm sure you've been all following this story for quite a while now. After
this experience, I can safely say that I don't think the mafia life is for me. It was fun while it lasted
though! To those who have made it here I'd like to offer my thanks.

First, I'd like to thank Dispatch for their extensive research and work regarding my 'mafia life'.

Second, I'd like to thank my faithful fans and EXO-Ls who have stuck by me and believed in me
during this entire time.

Third, I'd like to thank my members and family who have offered me their support despite all the
allegations.

And finally, I would like to thank the 97 liners, my faithful bodyguards and hostages, who without
them, I wouldn't be here."

It seems that our team was mistaken on the allegations against Oh Sehun. We sincerely apologize
to Oh Sehun and his members for the misconception.

That is all.

EXO Groupchat

Chen: THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL

Chen: baekhyun in all my years of knowing you this was probably the best idea you've had.

Baekhyun: i swear to god jongdae

Xiumin: our fans are going wild on social media

Sehun: guys like you don't understand the intricate planning they did to pull this off

Sehun: holy shit

Sehun: I'm still amazed

Lay: you gotta thank them

Sehun: I'm taking them out for ramen my treat

Kyungsoo: to that dingy place that started this whole thing?

Sehun: yup
Chanyeol: I mean it does have good ramen so

Kai: I agree

Sehun: see

Suho: get them gifts too

Sehun: yes hyung

Suho: you make sure no one pays a single won

Sehun: yes hyung

Suho: and you tell them exo as a whole thanks them too

Sehun: OKAY HYUNG

Sehun: i know

Suho: just making sure baby

97-Liners Groupchat

Sehun: I don't think I can thank you guys enough

Megaphone: please it was our absolute pleasure

Thaibaby: and the ramen was fucking amazing omg???

Sehun: SEE

KookieMonster: we loved the gifts too!!

KookieMonster: but didn't suho sunbaenim go a bit overboard?

Sehun: i tried to tell him but he wouldn't listen

EarlyBird: real talk thank you for all the gifts and please thank suho sunbaenim as well

Sehun: of course!!

Sehun: he's over my head and says call him hyung

EiffelPuppy: okay hyung :D

Sehun: and if you guys ever need anything let me know!!

Sehun: ngl a part of me is gonna miss this group....

Greekgod: sorry hyung 97 liners exclusive

Sehun: i know i know

Lostboy: no special privileges

Sehun: fiiiiine

[Greekgod has removed Sehun from the group]

HitTheYug: weeeeew that was a trainwreck

Megaphone: indeed it was

Thaibaby: ngl as much as i love sehun hyung this group isnt the same when it isnt the eight of us

Lostboy: agreed tbh

EarlyBird: as fun as this was you guys don't think this is gonna become a regular thing right

KookieMonster: hopefully not bc that was tiring as fuck

EiffelPuppy: we should've charged him

Greekgod: gyu again?

Lostboy: babe we talked about this

EiffelPuppy: I'M JUST SAYING

EiffelPuppy: THIS COULD BECOME A BUSINESS

Thaibaby: no gyu

EiffelPuppy: please consider it

Megaphone: no.

Private Chat: Lisa and Bambam

Lisa: heyyy

Bambam: what.

Lisa: so like an actor friend of jisoo unnies might need help with dispatch...

97-Liners Groupchat

Thaibaby: [Image]

Megaphone: well fuck.

Lostboy: what have we gotten ourselves into?

Greekgod: that is the question

 EiffelPuppy: I TOLD YOU GUYS WE CAN MAKE THIS A PROFIT

Lostboy: babe shut up

KookieMonster: turning off our phones and camping in my studio in like 20 mins?

EarlyBird: sounds good to me

HitTheYug: already grabbing my car keys

Megaphone: we'll meet you there

Greekgod: pick me up on the way

Thaibaby: bet

Chapter End Notes

97 Liners: Crackheads, Bane of Dispatch, and HKPS Enthusiasts.

This is it. The perfect summary.

 Of Bricks and Beds
Chapter Summary

In which a bed breaks.

Chapter Notes

KookieMonster: Jungkook
Greekgod: Jaehyun
EarlyBird: Eunwoo
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
Megaphone: DK
Lostboy: The8
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: @HitTheYug @Thaibaby y'all still coming over right?

Thaibaby: yup yup

HitTheYug: getting my car keys

Greekgod: good

Greekgod: I'm finishing up a small thing regarding an acting contract at the company then heading
to the dorm

Greekgod: should be done in a few minutes

HitTheYug: sounds good!!

Megaphone: have fun!!

EarlyBird: please don't break anything

EarlyBird: or hurt yourselves

Thaibaby: okay mom

Lostboy: given that you two specifically have history

Thaibaby: AS IF YOU DONT

Lostboy: hey I never said I didnt

EiffelPuppy: i love a self-aware man

KookieMonster: keep it in your pants gyu

Lostboy: ooooo

Lostboy: coming baby

Megaphone: without me?

EiffelPuppy: you have exactly two minutes

Megaphone: COMING

EarlyBird: how the fuck did we lose the conversation?

KookieMonster: no idea

Greekgod: @HitTheYug @Thaibaby something's wrong with the contract so it's taking longer
than expected

Thaibaby: oh shit do we turn around then?

Greekgod: nah I told taeyong hyung so he'll let you guys in

Greekgod: i shouldn't be long

Thaibaby: works

HitTheYug: has jae talked to any of you guys?

KookieMonster: uh no?

Megaphone: busy fucking

Megaphone: no time to care

EarlyBird: could you be any more crude

Lostboy: go fuck moonbin or something we're kinda busy here

HitTheYug: HEY HORNDOGS

HitTheYug: GET OUT

HitTheYug: anyways we're in jaes room and he still hasnt shown up

EarlyBird: i'll try calling him for you

EarlyBird: nope no answer

KookieMonster: try asking any of his members?

HitTheYug: no ones in the dorm

KookieMonster: pause

KookieMonster: nct literally trusted you two with jaes room?

KookieMonster: @Lostboy @Megaphone @EiffelPuppy QUIT THE HKPS AND LISTEN TO

THIS

EiffelPuppy: WHAT DO YOU WANT

EarlyBird: nct trusted bam and yug with jaes room alone

Megaphone: oh they're insane insane

KookieMonster: no kidding

HitTheYug: feeling the love guys

HitTheYug: feeling the love.

Thaibaby: im just gonna ignore you guys now

Thaibaby: meanwhile

Thaibaby: who knew jae had such a big bed?

Lostboy: must be the new one he bought he last month

HitTheYug: hella comfy

EarlyBird: I don't like the tone of this

Thaibaby: uh guys

Thaibaby: has jae showed up yet?

EiffelPuppy: nope

EarlyBird: not yet

KookieMonster: hasnt even read our messages

HitTheYug: good

HitTheYug: SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT

Thaibaby: WE'RE SO FUCKED

EarlyBird: lord you could've spared us

Megaphone: what the fuck did you do

Thaibaby: WE KINDA BROKE THE BED AND JAES GONNA FREAK

KookieMonster: YOU BROKE THE BED?

HitTheYug: and a lamp

Lostboy: DID YOU SERIOUSLY HAVE SEX ON JAES BED???

Thaibaby: NO

Thaibaby: WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU THINK THAT

EiffelPuppy: you two do not have a good history okay

HitTheYug: listen fair

EarlyBird: I LITERALLY TOLD YOU GUYS TO NOT BREAK ANYTHING

HitTheYug: LISTEN

HitTheYug: THATS FAIR BUT COULD YOU PLEASE HELP US BEFORE JAE KILLS US

KookieMonster: pause I wanna know how you guys broke the bed because I have a feeling its
gonna be really stupid

Lostboy: and the lamp!

Thaibaby: ......

Thaibaby: we were jumping on the bed

KookieMonster: and there it is

KookieMonster: DID YOU HONESTLY THINK THE BED COULD HANDLE YOU TWO
GIANTS JUMPING ON IT

Thaibaby: IT LOOKED BIG AND STURDY

Megaphone: ah yes just your type

HitTheYug: the fuck you on

Megaphone: jackson

HitTheYug: ah yes I see the point

Thaibaby: YUG

Thaibaby: EVERYONE FOCUS

EiffelPuppy: take a pic of the damages

Thaibaby: [image]

Lostboy: oh youre fucked fucked

HitTheYug: YES WE GET IT MOVE ALONG

EarlyBird: FIND SOME GLUE

HitTheYug: I DONT WANNA SNOOP AROUND THEIR DORM??

HitTheYug: THATS AN INVASION OF PRIVACY

KookieMonster: jae has a drawer filled with arts and crafts supplies

KookieMonster: in the closet, bottom drawer

Megaphone: how the fuck do you know this

KookieMonster: prank war days

KookieMonster: duh

KookieMonster: what?

KookieMonster: none of you had a drawer like this??

Megaphone: no???

Megaphone: psycho???

EarlyBird: I wasn't even during prank war days

KookieMonster: you were in the boyfriend wars tho????

EarlyBird: I-

EiffelPuppy: ooo speaking of which

EarlyBird: absolutely not.

EarlyBird: not anytime soon atleast

EarlyBird: i still smell paint from time to time

EiffelPuppy: but the option is still on the table yes?

KookieMonster: obviously?

EarlyBird: absolutely

Thaibaby: GUYS
Thaibaby: so gyus gluing the lamp

Thaibaby: [image]

Thaibaby: hes surprisingly good at this???

Megaphone: it doesn't even look broken

Thaibaby: yeah if you ignore the missing chunk on the other side

EiffelPuppy: how does this keep getting worse

Thaibaby: i dont knowwwwwww

KookieMonster: some god is on your side today because theres no other reason for why jaes
disappeared today

HitTheYug: yes and we are very thankful

HitTheYug: NOW WHAT

EarlyBird: okay so for the bed

EarlyBird: you gotta support it somehow

Megaphone: I ain't ever seen a bed broken this way before

Lostboy: literally how the fuck

EiffelPuppy: only you guys i swear

HitTheYug: jsksnsksmenwmks

HitTheYug: SUPPORT IT WITH THAT

KookieMonster: good question

KookieMonster: you got any bricks?

HitTheYug: jeon jungkook

HitTheYug: why the fuck would we have bricks???

KookieMonster: again

KookieMonster: you didnt have bricks during prank war days??

EiffelPuppy: I-

KookieMonster: ugh check the space under jaes supply drawer

HitTheYug: WHAT THE FUCK???

HitTheYug: [image]
EarlyBird: what the actual fuck.....

Megaphone: this just shows us that we need to fuel war again and step up our game

KookieMonster: now we gotta change the hideouts

Thaibaby: thats what youre concerned about??

KookieMonster: yes?

HitTheYug: okay so how does this look

HitTheYug: [image]

Megaphone: it looks wonky bro

EiffelPuppy: add one more brick to the left

Lostboy: lmao look at bams legs sticking out from under the bed

HitTheYug: [image]

EarlyBird: now the left side is too high

HitTheYug: damn it

HitTheYug: [image]

KookieMonster: still looks wrong

HitTheYug: fuuuuuuuuck

Greekgod: @HitTheYug @Thaibaby

Greekgod: I'm so sorry I was late

Greekgod: y'all would not believe the day that I had

EarlyBird: oh do tell

KookieMonster: yes we're curious to know what made you so late

Greekgod: bro first there was a mistake in my acting contract???

Greekgod: so we had to fix that which took ages

Greekgod: then apparently they misinformed me and I had a meeting regarding a CF contract too

Greekgod: which wasn't supposed to take long btw but the representative would literally not stop
talking

Greekgod: and then I was leaving but my stylist asks me for a quick fitting

Greekgod: she said it would be five minutes

Greekgod: but then the shirt I was trying on ripped??

Lostboy: must be those delicious shoulders

Greekgod: keep it in your pants ming

Greekgod: anyways so i had to wait until she fixed it again

Greekgod: it's been two hours but I'm so exhausted

Greekgod: anyways I'm in the dorm lobby coming up

HitTheYug: aha

Thaibaby: we're so fucked

Greekgod: ?

EiffelPuppy: wait for it

Greekgod: YOU TWO FUCKERS COME OUT OF THE BATHROOM THIS INSTANT

Thaibaby: I think im good

Megaphone: and there it is

Greekgod: YOU FUCKED ON MY BED??

Greekgod: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU

Lostboy: wouldnt be the first time they got jizz on your pillow

HitTheYug: YOU HAVE GOT TO STOP ASSUMING THAT ON THE FIRST GO

KookieMonster: you cant really blame us

EarlyBird: jae

EarlyBird: baby

EarlyBird: scroll up

Greekgod: MY LAMP TOO?

Greekgod: @HitTheYug @Thaibaby when you two get out

Greekgod: and you will

Greekgod: you're dead.

Thaibaby: PLEASE HELP US

Megaphone: idk what to do at this point

HitTheYug: GUYS

EarlyBird: jaehyun my love

EarlyBird: how about a deal?

Greekgod: what kind.

Greekgod: they're not leaving free btw

EiffelPuppy: okay how about if you go easy on them they take you out for dinner?

Greekgod: no.

KookieMonster: i got it

KookieMonster: go easy on them and they have to pay for all your expenses on the next jeju
island trip

Thaibaby: im desperate at this point so im in

HitTheYug: yes same

Greekgod: I'm thinkinh

Thaibaby: longest moments of my life

Greekgod: okay you have a deal

Megaphone: is this what leader hyungs felt when they negotiated with jinyoung hyung?

Lostboy: probably

Greekgod: you two may get out of the bathroom now

Greekgod: I will be civil while acting out your punishment

Thaibaby: punishment?

Greekgod: problem?

HitTheYug: uh no sir

Thaibaby: no sir

Greekgod: good

Greekgod: also @KookieMonster now thanks to you I gotta change my hideout

KookieMonster: geniunely sorry bro

KookieMonster: would not have done it if it wasnt a desperate situation

EarlyBird: speaking of which

EarlyBird: what the fuck??

Greekgod: what?

Greekgod: you mean to tell me none of you have a secret supply hideout??

Greekgod: kook does??

EiffelPuppy: yeah we fucking established that

Greekgod: anyways I have to decide on a punishment now

Greekgod: bye guys!

Megaphone: rip Kim Yugyeom and Kunpimook Bhuwakul 1997-2022.

Leaders Groupchat

Taeyong: @JB

Taeyong: idk if you know

Taeyong: I love your 97 liners and all

Taeyong: but they're banned from our dorms now

JB: im not surprised

Namjoon: what they do now

JinJin: according to eunwoo they broke jaehyuns bed

Seungcheol: and his lamp!

Namjoon: no offence

Namjoon: but I'm not surprised

JB: trust me I know

97-Liners Groupchat

EiffelPuppy: so....

EiffelPuppy: I'm kinda scared to ask

EiffelPuppy: but what happened?

Thaibaby: he made us run thirty laps

HitTheYug: i cant feel my legs

Greekgod: :)

EarlyBird: jae

EarlyBird: i thought we agreed to go easy on them?

Greekgod: this was easy!

KookieMonster: this was easy?

Greekgod: wouldn't you agree boys? :)

HitTheYug: uh yes sir

Thaibaby: absolutely sir

Megaphone: okay so apparently this group doesn't know the meaning of chill

Lostboy: babe

Lostboy: you just noticed?

Greekgod: I do have to thank the devil twins tho

Thaibaby: uh you do?

Greekgod: yup

Greekgod: Not having a bed rn gives me an excuse to sleep in other members' beds ;)

Lostboy: sleep

Lostboy: sureeeeeee

HitTheYug: youre welcome i guess

Greekgod: anyways about those prank war negotiations

EarlyBird: please

EarlyBird: its too soon

EarlyBird: atleast give us another month

Greekgod: why

Greekgod: so you could stock up on supplies?

EarlyBird: abso-fucking-lutely.

EiffelPuppy: ATTA BOYYY

Megaphone: anyways our comeback season is here so we're postponing this convo until further
 notice

KookieMonster: fine

KookieMonster: coward

Greekgod: all good things in due time babe

KookieMonster: :)

Chapter End Notes

Supppppp

Updates on my life: ya girl's graduating!

How have you all been?

 Of Blood and Vampires
Chapter Summary

In which, vampires are real?

Chapter Notes

EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Lostboy: The8
Megaphone: DK
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
KookieMonster: Jungkook
EarlyBird: Eunwoo
Greekgod: Jaehyun

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Day 1

Private Chat: IU and Irene

Irene: so what's up?

Irene: I can tell something's bothering you

IU: nah

IU: it's a small thing unnie don't worry about it

Irene: come on

Irene: the last time I saw you you looked so tense

IU: I

IU: okay

IU: I think someone's stalking me

Irene: WHAT?!

Irene: why haven't you said anything?!

IU: look
IU: don't you think I've tried??

IU: the guy is a security guard at the company so I told management but they didn't do anything
because there isn't 'concrete evidence'

IU: and I don't wanna take it to the police because it'll just scale out of proportion

IU: He hasn't done anything physical so far and now I don't know what to do

Irene: shit

Irene: you need to scare him off

IU: and how do I do that

IU: I've tried being polite and I really don't want things to escalate messily

IU: but I really want to get him off my back without it backfiring on me

Irene: we should make him scared of you

IU: like dispatch was of sehun?

IU: lmao

Irene: wait

Irene: you're a genius

IU: why the fuck haven't I thought of that

Irene: I think you know exactly what you need to do

Private Chat: Jungkook and IU

IU: jungkookie

IU: hi

Jungkook: hi noona

Jungkook: whats up?

IU: I kinda need a favor

Jungkook: anything for you

97-Liners Groupchat

KookieMonster: 97 LINERS
KookieMonster: GATHER FRONT AND CENTER

Thaibaby: why are you spamming us

Megaphone: the fuck happened

KookieMonster: @Greekgod I NEED GENERAL MODE ON

Greekgod: oh shit it's serious serious

KookieMonster: yes

EiffelPuppy: kook I thought we weren't gonna get involved in things anymore

KookieMonster: she asked for our help!

KookieMonster: what did you expect me to do?

KookieMonster: say no?

EarlyBird: she who

HitTheYug: yes pls stop being cryptic

KookieMonster: I'll let her talk

[KookieMonster added IU to the group]

IU: Hi guys

IU: I'm so sorry to bother you

IU: I know after the sehun thing you don't want any trouble

Lostboy: noona

Lostboy: I think I speak for all of us when I say id die for you

Thaibaby: accurate

EiffelPuppy: where's the lie

KookieMonster: I already said yes anyways

EarlyBird: noona lay it on us so we can start planning

IU: okay so

IU: there's a security guard stalking me

IU: and management won't do anything about it because there's no concrete evidence

HitTheYug: and the police?

IU: I don't wanna go to the police because it will just escalate and I really don't want that to
happen

IU: also he can't exactly leave the premises of the company but it's so creepy having my every
move watched there

Greekgod: okay

IU: Irene unnie suggested I scare him off

Megaphone: irene noona knows what's up

IU: But how do I do that without it backfiring on me??

IU: the last thing I need is a police investigation or someone suing me

EarlyBird: hm

EiffelPuppy: that's a fair point

Greekgod: say noona

Greekgod: has anyone told you you'd make a good vampire?

IU: uh what

EarlyBird: genius

KookieMonster: knew I could count on jae

IU: what is happening....?

Thaibaby: omg this gonna be FUN

Lostboy: RIGHT?

IU: um

EiffelPuppy: oh we're gonna need some new toys and props

Greekgod: okay so

IU: guys

Greekgod: seventeen: fake animals and body parts

Megaphone: got it

IU: where the

Lostboy: gyu knows a guy

IU: wait
Greekgod: got7: fake blood and teeth

HitTheYug: is a gallon enough

Greekgod: get two just in case

Thaibaby: gotcha

IU: how the fuck

Thaibaby: yug knows a guy

Greekgod: kook still practicing your makeup skills?

KookieMonster: of course

Greekgod: think you can fake some burns on her

KookieMonster: oooo

IU: what

Greekgod: and finally

Greekgod: eunwoo

Greekgod: up for some acting?

EarlyBird: always

Greekgod: great bc noona you're gonna kill him and drain his blood

IU: BOYS

IU: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

Megaphone: what?

Megaphone: if you're worried about the details don't be we got this

IU: uh yeah I can see that very clearly

EarlyBird: then...?

IU: I just

IU: walk me through it???

EiffelPuppy: okay guys we tend to forget not everyone is used to the way we work

Thaibaby: shit yeah thats a fair point

EarlyBird: that's on us noona

IU: okay so if I got this right

IU: We're gonna turn me into a vampire

HitTheYug: yup

IU: the fangs and blood are so I pretend that I drink human blood

Lostboy: correct

IU: the 'burns' are due to sun exposure?

KookieMonster: exactly

IU: and at some point I'm gonna have to pretend to kill eunwoo and suck his blood

EarlyBird: at your service

IU: and all this is for when the security guard sees me no one will ever believe him

Megaphone: yup

IU: holy shit I would've never thought of that

Thaibaby: shes way smarter than sehun hyung ill tell you that

Greekgod: of course she's way smarter than sehun hyung

Greekgod: no offence tho i love him

EiffelPuppy: we all do

EiffelPuppy: doesn't change the fact that it took her five minutes to understand the whole thing
while it took him a few days to even process what we told him

IU: I'm flattered

IU: okay so when are we starting?

HitTheYug: youre surprisingly okay with this

IU: I came asking for your help knowing exactly what I'm getting myself into

IU: you think I'm some sort of amateur?

KookieMonster: fair

Thaibaby: god forbid

Greekgod: that's the spirit!

Greekgod: noona you need to get some red contacts too

IU: I think I have some

Greekgod: okay so everyone know what to do?

KookieMonster: yes sir!

HitTheYug: yup yup

Lostboy: excited!

Megaphone: you got it

Thaibaby: already on it boss

EarlyBird: just say the word

EiffelPuppy: absolutely

EiffelPuppy: (noona say something)

IU: (oh is this role call?)

HitTheYug: (yes)

IU: (got it)

IU: yes!

Greekgod: good then we start in two days

Day 3

97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: @IU @KookieMonster where are we meeting?

KookieMonster: my studio no?

Greekgod: great just making sure

Greekgod: I'll be there in 20

KookieMonster: doors open

KookieMonster: make sure to lead noona

KookieMonster: also my hyungs dont know about this LMAO

Lostboy: LMAOOO

Greekgod: I'm downstairs

IU: I'm here too!

Greekgod: where
IU: to the left I can't see you

Greekgod: all I see is a blonde woman in a puffer jacket

IU: that's me!

Greekgod: [image]

Greekgod: omg guys look at her

Thaibaby: holy shit noona theres no way I wouldve recognized you wtf

IU: It's my go-to when I really don't wanna be recognized

EiffelPuppy: we're so used to your dark hair that the blonde is just jarring tbh

IU: why thank you

IU: so I'm guessing this is where you hangout when you don't wanna be in public?

HitTheYug: yup

HitTheYug: pretty sure the couch has our butt imprints

KookieMonster: yes it does

KookieMonster: anyways if youll excuse us I have work to do

Megaphone: send pics bby

Megaphone: we gotta judge

EarlyBird: ^

BTS Groupchat

Yoongi: @Jungkook you wanna explain to me why is it when I open the door to the studio I see
jaehyun and jieun????

Jungkook: :D

Jimin: Jieun as in IU??

Yoongi: the one and only.

Yoongi: i know you're plotting something maknae

Yoongi: and frankly I'm offended you didn't tell me

Taehyung: us*

Jungkook: wasnt my thing to tell!

Jungkook: but noona gave me permission after seeing your dumbfounded face so

Yoongi: wow thanks jieun

Jin: is she okay??

Jungkook: basically an employee is stalking her

Jungkook: and she asked for our help

Namjoon: shit

Namjoon: kook-ah we trust you'll take of her

Jungkook: of course!

Hoseok: proud of you baby

Jungkook: love you all!

Jungkook: also noona says if anyone wants to meet her theyre welcome

Jimin: i have never seen tae run so fast in my life

Jungkook: LMAO

Jin: heads up everyones coming

Jungkook: subtle

97-Liners Groupchat

EiffelPuppy: okay so what happened

IU: first of all I'm so impressed by the fake burns

KookieMonster: thank you thank you

IU: when I was in the company i made sure to curse loudly around him about the sun and showed
my 'burns' before i 'hastily rushed to cover them up' before anyone saw me

Megaphone: perfect

Greekgod: the bait has been thrown

IU: and then an hour later I uncovered the areas where the sunburns were and I swear I saw him do
a doubletake when he saw my arms and neck all 'healed'

Thaibaby: amazing

Greekgod: alright gang

Greekgod: phase one cleared

IU: okay what's phase two?

EarlyBird: I'd say he needs to see you feeding

IU: oh shit okay

HitTheYug: noona you got the contacts?

IU: yup!

Lostboy: great then you're gonna take a stuffed animal and some blood and 'feed' in a makeup
room or something

IU: okay got it

Day 5:

97-Liners Groupchat

KookieMonster: @IU nervous noona?

IU: as if

IU: already laughing about the expression he's gonna have on his face

Thaibaby: sometimes I forget how scary you actually can be

IU: you boys are adorable :D

EiffelPuppy: hella scary

IU: okay so i managed to get the supplies from the seventeen and got7 boys

HitTheYug: our pleasure

Megaphone: glad to be of service

IU: most people left the company so I should be good to go

IU: also surprisingly the fake teeth are such a good fit??

Thaibaby: youre welcome

IU: okay fingers crossed!

EarlyBird: go get him!

Greekgod: and let us know!

~
IU: GUYS

IU: HAHAHAHAHAHAH

Megaphone: my guess that it was a success

IU: oh you have no idea

IU: LMAOOOOOO

HitTheYug: details!

IU: so I went to my empty makeup room and didn't close the door properly

IU: i sat facing a mirror so I can see him watching me

Lostboy: smart

IU: wanna see the video I caught?

Thaibaby: OBVIOUSLY

IU: [video]

EiffelPuppy: THE WAY YOU LOOKED AT THE DOOR WITH THE RED CONTACTS AND
BLOOD ON YOUR FACE HOLY SHIT

EarlyBird: i can honestly say

EarlyBird: noona hella scary

KookieMonster: HELLA

KookieMonster: THIS IS AMAZING

Greekgod: I'm highkey impressed and highkey scared

Greekgod: she ranks up there with jinyoung hyung and irene noona

HitTheYug: oh fucking definitely

IU: thank you thank you

IU: this is honestly way more fun than I thought it would be??

EiffelPuppy: with all due respect noona

EiffelPuppy: we're not amateurs

EiffelPuppy: we're the bane of fucking dispatch

IU: iconic

IU: truly
Greekgod: anyways noona

Greekgod: you hid all the evidence?

IU: yup

Greekgod: cleaned up all the blood?

IU: yup

Greekgod: he wasn't filming anything was he?

IU: no

IU: but I have a feeling next time he will

Greekgod: hmmm

Greekgod: best solution is that we do phase three in a mostly dark place so that his camera
wouldn't capture anything

Lostboy: youre so smart its so sexy

Greekgod: keep it in your pants ming

Lostboy: where do you think its going ;)

Greekgod: oh my god @Megaphone @EiffelPuppy deal with him

Greekgod: we have a woman here

Megaphone: we got it don't worry

IU: oh no please this is very entertaining do continue

EarlyBird: wow she's not even phased

EarlyBird: even I was when I was first here

Thaibaby: it was very funny newbie

EarlyBird: I will kill you.

Thaibaby: listen until someone else gets added permanently the title is yours

Thaibaby: unfortunately for you that doesnt seem to be happening anytime soon

EarlyBird: fuck you

KookieMonster: you and jinjin hyung just gotta accept it

IU: jinjin too?

KookieMonster: yup
KookieMonster: leaders groupchat

IU: what like a snitch group?

Megaphone: basically

Megaphone: but the real snitch group tho is the KCIA

IU: do i wanna know?

HitTheYug: nope

IU: You're right actually I don't

IU: anyways

IU: phase 3?

EarlyBird: hope you've been sharpening your acting skills noona because we're putting on the
performance of a lifetime

IU: I'm counting on it newbie

EarlyBird: NOT YOU TOO

EarlyBird: YOU'RE LITERALLY HERE TEMPORARILY

IU: which makes it all the fun!

Lostboy: LMAOOOOO NICE ONE

HitTheYug: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

IU: hey eunwoo?

EarlyBird: what.

IU: Suffer newbie.

EiffelPuppy: I CHOKED LMAOOOOOOO

KookieMonster: NOONA I FUCKING LOVE YOU

Greekgod: literally the best guest we've had on here

Megaphone: WHERE'S THE LIE

Day 7:

97-Liners Groupchat

IU: okay @EarlyBird I've informed the backdoor security guard (dw we like him) that you'll be
coming

IU: meanwhile I'm in the dance studio practicing a choreo

EarlyBird: got it

Lostboy: YALL GOT THIS

EiffelPuppy: please film

EiffelPuppy: we're begging

EarlyBird: I'll set up my phone even though it's gonna be dark

IU: hey maybe we'll hear him scream

KookieMonster: oo thatll be fun

HitTheYug: place your bets on whether itll be a highpitched scream or not

IU: excuse me?

IU: you mean like a 'girly' scream?

HitTheYug: nope more like a seokmin scream

IU: HAHAHHAHA

Megaphone: not cool man

Megaphone: why you gotta sell me out in front of my sunbaenim like that?

HitTheYug: number 1: we're friends for this exact reason

HitTheYug: number 2: your videos screaming are literally all over the internet

HitTheYug: and number 3: it isnt as if she hasnt heard it in jeju island

HitTheYug: just saying

IU: that's true I have

Megaphone: fuck

EiffelPuppy: hey nothing to be ashamed of

Lostboy: you should hear it in bed ;)

Greekgod: GUYS

Greekgod: BE RESPECTFUL GODDAMN YOU

IU: Jaehyun sweetheart

IU: I appreciate your concern but you're literally the only one concerned with respect here
IU: eunwoo literally cussed me out

KookieMonster: all facts

Thaibaby: no cap

KookieMonster: anyways jaes respectful ass aside

KookieMonster: i bet on the seokmin scream

EarlyBird: okay noona I'm outside the building

IU: great!

IU: the guard will lead you to the room

IU: I'm heading there now

EarlyBird: let's get this show on the road

EiffelPuppy: broooo the excitement is killing me

Thaibaby: LITERALLY

EarlyBird: man the fake blood is gonna take forever to get out

Lostboy: BITCHASS QUIT LAMENTING AND SPILL

EarlyBird: [video]

EarlyBird: for those who bet on the screams I'm pleased to tell you no one was right

KookieMonster: HE PASSED OUT?

KookieMonster: LMAOOOOO

HitTheYug: NOONA DID YOU HISS AT HIM

Megaphone: DETAILS NOW

IU: amazing

IU: eunwoo we should definitely act together again

EarlyBird: would be an absolute honor

Greekgod: yes yes we get it you both can act

Greekgod: now TELL US

IU: OKAY SO

IU: eunwoo got there before me and set up the camera

IU: I got there and miraculously managed to put on the fangs and contacts

IU: and yet again managed to not lock the door properly

IU: so then we had a small conversation before I cornered eunwoo and bit his neck (where the
blood ampules were)

IU: so eunwoo "passed out" and I look up to see the guard staring at us in shock and fear

IU: so naturally i hissed at him because why not

Lostboy: amazing

IU: and when I did he passed out LMAO

EarlyBird: so we took this as an opportunity and cleaned up all the evidence and left the room

EiffelPuppy: I would pay to see that in real life

EiffelPuppy: I wish the camera caught it

IU: also why did you have to be freakishly tall

IU: its a good thing you were crouching

HitTheYug: guess youre just tiny

IU: AM NOT

HitTheYug: get over 170 cm and then we'll talk

IU: BRAT

HitTheYug: :D

IU: you're all just fucking giants

EiffelPuppy: oops?

Greekgod: ANYWAYS

Greekgod: I declare the final phase to be VERY successful

Greekgod: spectacular job everybody

Greekgod: now we wait for results

Day 8:

97-Liners Groupchat

KookieMonster: im thinking of getting a new computer

EiffelPuppy: kook maybe you should actually get some furniture for your apartment first

HitTheYug: ive been there

HitTheYug: theres only mattresses

KookieMonster: hush no one judge

Megaphone: trust me we're all judging

IU: GUYS

IU: wait

IU: Jeon Jungkook care to explain why you only have mattresses in your apartment?

KookieMonster: uh

KookieMonster: i dont use it anyways?

IU: you, me, and the rest of the guys are going furniture shopping and I will not rest until you at
least have a proper living room

IU: Am I clear?

KookieMonster: uh

KookieMonster: yes noona

IU: good

Greekgod: thank god he wouldnt listen to any of us

KookieMonster: I WAS BUSY

Lostboy: STILL

EarlyBird: anyways noona you had news?

IU: YES!

IU: so I noticed I haven't seen him all day right?

IU: so I asked the other security guards and they said he turned in his resignation!

IU: when I asked why they said he wouldn't provide a proper reason

Thaibaby: HELL YEAH

Thaibaby: WE DID IT TEAM

Lostboy: LETS GOOOOOOOOOO

EarlyBird: congrats noona!

IU: I really couldn't have done this without your help

IU: please let me repay you

EiffelPuppy: not necessary!

EiffelPuppy: it was our pleasure

Greekgod: we had fun!

IU: I insist!

IU: I'm taking you all out for lunch

IU: and since you did me a favor I'll owe you guys one

Thaibaby: it really isn't necessary but if it makes you feel better sure :)

IU: :D

IU: oh and before I leave

IU: when's the next jeju trip

IU: you better not be planning one without me

KookieMonster: hold it right there

KookieMonster: first we have a prank war to get through

KookieMonster: then we'll talk

IU: uh what prank war

Greekgod: I suggest you don't get into it

Greekgod: it can get.... ugly

IU: yeah you're right I'd rather witness this from the outside

HitTheYug: speaking of which

HitTheYug: CHA EUNWOO I KNOW YOU HAVE THE OTHER GALLON OF FAKE
BLOOD

HitTheYug: GIVE IT BACK.

EarlyBird: over my dead body.

HitTheYug: BITCHASS I PAID FOR IT

EarlyBird: not my problem.

IU: okayyyy I can sense something brewing so I'll show myself out
 IU: I'll text you guys for that dinner later!

KookieMonster: it was a pleasure

Lostboy: bye!

[IU left the groupchat]

Private Chat: IU and Irene

Irene: so?

Irene: its been a week and you refused to give me updates

IU: so

IU: we convinced the guy that I'm a thirsty vampire that drinks blood and in return he submitted
his resignation refusing to state why

IU: :D

Irene: Holy shit that's even better than I expected

IU: mhm

97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: now boys

Greekgod: I believe we have an urgent matter to attend to.

Chapter End Notes

So, can you guess what the next chapter(s) is? ;)

 Of Groups and Wars
Chapter Summary

In which, its the third edition of the prank wars.

Chapter Notes

EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Megaphone: DK
Lostboy: The8
Greekgod: Jaehyun
KookieMonster: Jungkook
EarlyBird: Eunwoo
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

EiffelPuppy: ALRIGHT LOSERS

EiffelPuppy: WE HAVE SOMETHING TO ATTEND

EarlyBird: someone's feeling hella confident huh

EarlyBird: can't wait to wipe that smirk off your face

Megaphone: is that a threat newbie?

EarlyBird: it's a fucking promise.

HitTheYug: eunwoos out for blood

HitTheYug: I LOVE IT

HitTheYug: GET READY TO LOSE BITCHES

KookieMonster: IN YOUR DREAMS FUCKER

Greekgod: HEY DUMBASSES

Greekgod: BEFORE YOU GET READY TO DIE

Greekgod: let's set some ground rules.

Lostboy: well that took a dark turn

Thaibaby: we play for death.

Greekgod: anyways before that

Greekgod: we need to agree on some things first and somehow convince our groups to participate
in a group prank war

KookieMonster: shit we forgot about that

Greekgod: mhm

Greekgod: anyways I call for the resident brats to give us some ideas

KookieMonster: well

KookieMonster: we gotta goad them somehow

HitTheYug: yeah something like telling them you think you're superior

Thaibaby: oh shit yeah and then they'll try to one-up each other

KookieMonster: exactly

EarlyBird: you notice how the brats also happen to be the group maknaes?

HitTheYug: it comes with the job description

KookieMonster: yup

HitTheYug: name one maknae that isnt a brat

EarlyBird: yeah no sanha defo fits the description

EiffelPuppy: same with chan

Greekgod: you all know about my brats

HitTheYug: my point has been made

Greekgod: anyways we'll work on that

Greekgod: back to the rules

EarlyBird: okay no murder or serious injuries

Greekgod: check

KookieMonster: any prank allowed that doesnt violate the first rule

Greekgod: check

Megaphone: no going back and forth pranking same groups

Greekgod: check

EiffelPuppy: unlimited access to each other's dorms or related locations

Greekgod: this is not gonna end well but check

Thaibaby: we keep each others managers off our backs yeah?

Greekgod: check

EarlyBird: that's about it

Greekgod: ah new rule that definitely wasn't there before:

Greekgod: everyone pays EQUALLY for the damages.

KookieMonster: done.

Greekgod: all approve?

Lostboy: yes sir!

HitTheYug: its a yes from us

KookieMonster: yes sir!

EarlyBird: no arguments here

Greekgod: alright now onto the first phase

Greekgod: kook and yug throw the bait first

KookieMonster: you got it

HitTheYug: be back in a few

GOT7 Groupchat

Yugyeom: hyungs

Yugyeom: i have a problem

Youngjae: what is it??

Mark: is anyone hurt???

Bambam: no no

Yugyeom: okay so basically the other guys keep making fun of us saying we lost the last prank
war to jinyoung hyung

Yugyeom: which is fair but

Jinyoung: damn right it is

Yugyeom: but theyre calling us a whole losers and that we're not up to their caliber because we
called it off first :(

Jackson: excuse me????

Jackson: at least our pranks were fucking creative

Jaebum: fucking cheese and paint bombs do not have the right to talk

Jaebum: that's literally the first thing anyone would think of in a prank war

Yugyeom: thats what I said!

Yugyeom: but they said until they see something else theyre not buying it

Jackson: im fucking pissed

Jaebum: I'll be taking this with the other leaders.

Bambam: oh shit.

BTS Groupchat

Jungkook: HYUNGS

Jungkook: COME LOOK AT THIS

Jimin: ????

Hoseok: what is it??

Jungkook: [image]

Jungkook: THE GUYS THINK WE'RE LAME

Taehyung: "your pranks are boring and expected"

Yoongi: "all you do is break stuff and call it a prank"

Jin: EXCUSE ME????

Jin: EVERYONE AND THEIR MOMS HAD A GLITTER BOMB BEFORE

Namjoon: oh that's how they're gonna play it huh

Hoseok: this tone...

Jimin: finally some fucking excitement

~
Leaders Groupchat

Namjoon: all of you shitheads

Namjoon: our pranks are boring???

Namjoon: i fucking helped you with all your pranks so you all have no right to talk

JB: oh really now??

JB: friendly reminder that its thanks to you guys that we lost the war against jinyoung

JB: and since when is glitter that takes weeks to get removed boring??

JB: at least management didn't hunt our asses for vandalizing a dance studio

Seungcheol: hold the fuck up

Seungcheol: we saved your fucking life that day and this is how you thank us???

Taeyong: and you're coming at us for that??

Taeyong: first of all management hounded all of our fucking asses

Taeyong: second of all at least we didn't have to replace half of our furniture

Taeyong: Im looking at both of you @Namjoon @JinJin

JinJin: REAL MATURE HYUNG

JinJin: WE FLOODED A ROOM NOT AN ENTIRE COMPANY FIRST OF ALL

JinJin: SECOND OF ALL AT LEAST WE DIDN'T HAVE TO RUN AWAY FROM

SPATULAS LIKE COWARDS

Seungcheol: HEY.

Seungcheol: You do NOT mess with a spatula.

Seungcheol: maybe you should experience that first and then talk.

JinJin: is that a challenge?

Namjoon: woooooow

Namjoon: amazing really

Namjoon: you know what I think there's only one way to settle this

JB: inform all your members we're at war.

JB: and you will regret this.

JinJin: BRING IT
~

KCIA Groupchat

Jinyoung: war's on.

Jeonghan: war's on.

Jin: war's on.

MJ: war's on.

Doyoung: war's on.

Jinyoung: glad we're in agreement.

97-Liners Groupchat

Megaphone: holy

Megaphone: fucking

Megaphone: shit.

EarlyBird: oh my god.

Thaibaby: you all saw the argument that happened on the leaders groupchat??

KookieMonster: you can thank yug and i for that

HitTheYug: ayeeeee

Lostboy: THIS WORKED BETTER THAN EXPECTED??

HitTheYug: you really doubted us??

KookieMonster: just throw in a pout and youre good to go

Greekgod: anyways

Greekgod: I officially declare the commencement of the 3rd installment of the prank wars: Group
Edition.

Greekgod: may the best group win.

ASTRO Groupchat

JinJin: alright team whats the first plan

JinJin: also coups hyung seriously ticked me off so yall know seventeens gonna be the first target
Rocky: um how about replacing their lightbulbs with flashing lights

MJ: oh thats headache inducing

JinJin: not bad but nah

JinJin: we need something stronger

Eunwoo: I already have something in mind ;)

Moonbin: that does not sound good hyung

Sanha: ARE YOU KIDDING I CAN ALREADY SMELL THE CHAOS

Sanha: SPILL HYUNG

Eunwoo: so I happen to have a gallon and a half of fake blood

Eunwoo: I also happen to know that seventeen recently got new white couches and furniture

JinJin: you fucking genius I love you

97-Liners Groupchat

EiffelPuppy: CHA EUNWOO YOU'RE A DEAD MAN

EiffelPuppy: WE ALL KNOW YOU'RE THE ONE WITH THE FAKE BLOOD GALLONS SO
COME HERE THIS INSTANT

HitTheYug: WHICH HE STOLE FROM US

EarlyBird: oh?

EarlyBird: finders keepers bitchass.

Thaibaby: you fucking bastard

Megaphone: [image]

Megaphone: [image]

Megaphone: EVERYTHING IS PINK

Megaphone: EVEN THE WALLS ARE PINK

Lostboy: IT SMELLS HORRIBLE

Lostboy: IT WON'T COME OFF YOU FUCKERS

KookieMonster: I happen to think it looks cute!

Lostboy: jeon jungkook I do not suggest you test our patience in a fucking PRANK WAR
Greekgod: so you horndogs just stain the couch white again ;)

EiffelPuppy: look me in the eye and tell me you're proud of that.

Megaphone: do you honestly think we're in any mood to fuck right now

Thaibaby: I can feel the vein popping in seoks forehead rn

Megaphone: Shut the fuck up.

Lostboy: all of you sleep with one eye open.

EiffelPuppy: fucking hell joshua hyung is having an aneurysm rn

EiffelPuppy: I hope you're fucking happy.

EarlyBird: very! :D

Seventeen Groupchat

Seungcheol: I REFUSE TO BE THE ONLY VICTIM

Woozi: I WANT BLOOD

Hoshi: FUCK THEM ALL

Vernon: i gave joshua hyung a xanax pill to calm down btw

Joshua: hiiiiiiii

Joshua: everything is pink!

Jeonghan: jesus fucking christ

Jeonghan: its okay baby go rest

Mingyu: I got him

Wonwoo: okay lets all calm down and think

Wonwoo: who are we pranking and what are we doing

Seungkwan: wonwoo hyungs right

Seokmin: i propose since bam and yug bought the fake blood gallons we should prank got7 next

Dino: valid

Dino: what are we doing tho

Minghao: we tinfoil their cars :D

Seungcheol: isnt yugyeoms car your main source of transportation?

Minghao: yes and

Seungcheol: alright good good

Jeonghan: not enough.

Seokmin: they hate glitter?

Seungcheol: done.

97-Liners Groupchat

Thaibaby: i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you

Thaibaby: I HATE YOU

Thaibaby: I FUCKING HATE YOU

HitTheYug: WHO VANDALIZED MY CAR

HitTheYug: ITS SO HOT I CANT FUCKING TOUCH IT

Lostboy: oh no!

Lostboy: who couldve possibly done such a thing?!

Thaibaby: You.

Thaibaby: HOW IS THERE STILL GLITTER COMING OUT OF THE DORM AIRVENTS

HitTheYug: HOW MUCH DID YOU STUFF THIS SHIT

HitTheYug: EVERYTHING IS SPARKLING

EiffelPuppy: heads up you're probably gonna see glitter for days

EiffelPuppy: woozi hyung climbed into the airvent and stuffed it to the brim

EiffelPuppy: enjoy!

KookieMonster: why is it that in every prank war we have to have glitter

Megaphone: simplest yet simultaneously the most annoying thing to exist

Greekgod: that's honestly a valid point

EarlyBird: huh that actually makes sense

Megaphone: also got7 specifically are traumatized from glitter so

Thaibaby: I HATE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Thaibaby: I FUCKING HATE YOU.

 Lostboy: yeah well what else is new

Greekgod: anyone else has a feeling that this prank war isn't gonna end well?

Megaphone: they never do anyways

Chapter End Notes

If you guys thought this chapter was chaos, oh boy you have no idea what's coming.

I'm actually so excited for this LMAO

Hopefully this new format makes things less confusing!

Stay tuned!
 Of Groups and Wars Pt. 2
Chapter Summary

Of Groups and Wars pt.2

Y'all in for a wild ride.

Chapter Notes

KookieMonster: Jungkook
Greekgod: Jaehyun
EarlyBird: Eunwoo
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Megaphone: DK
Lostboy: The8

See the end of the chapter for more notes

GOT7 Groupchat

Jackson: GANG

Jackson: WHATS THE PLAN

Bambam: we're striking NCT

Mark: why

Yugyeom: jaehyuns tone is way too smug and we cant have that

JB: alright NCT it is

JB: they have several dorms right

Bambam: yup

JB: okay so any ideas

Youngjae: confetti?

JB: no

Jinyoung: i got it
Jinyoung: jackson you still know that chicken guy?

Jackson: yes why

Jinyoung: rent four chickens

Bambam: hyung what

Jinyoung: we get four chickens and number them 1, 2, 3, and 5

Youngjae: you mean 4?

Jinyoung: no 5

Jinyoung: we release in the dorms and watch the chaos unfold as they try to find the 'missing' 4th
chicken

Mark: YOURE SO EVIL I FUCKING LOVE YOU

Yugyeom: GENIUS

Jackson: ON IT

JB: babe, I love you.

NCT Groupchat

Taeyong: FIND THE CHICKENS

Taeyong: THEY'RE RUINING EVERYTHING

Yuta: I GOT ONE

Taeil: HAECHAN AND I HAVE THE THIRD ONE

Doyoung: JAE AND I HAVE THE SECOND

Ten: THE DREAMIES HAVE THE 5TH ONE

Taeyong: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE DREAMIES

Taeyong: WHERE'S THE FOURTH ONE

Jaehyun: I DON'T KNOW

Leaders Groupchat

Taeyong: OKAY YOU FUCKERS

Taeyong: THE FURNITURE IS ALL TORN

Taeyong: THERE'S FEATHER EVERYWHERE

Taeyong: AND WE'VE SPENT LITERALLY TWO HOURS LOOKING FOR THE LAST
CHICKEN

Taeyong: WHERE DID YOU PUT IT

JB: aw you haven't found the last chicken yet?

Taeyong: WHERE

Taeyong: IS

Taeyong: IT

JB: have you really checked everywhere?

JB: Even the dance studios?

Taeyong: fuck you.

NCT Groupchat

Taeyong: CHECK THE STUDIOS BEFORE MANAGEMENT SEES

Jungwoo: WE DID

Jungwoo: ITS NOT THERE

Taeyong: FUCK

Leaders Groupchat

Taeyong: FUCK YOU

JB: :DDDD

Namjoon: we should've thought of chickens honestly

JinJin: this is genius

KCIA Groupchat

Doyoung: Park Jinyoung did you plan this prank

Jinyoung: obviously

Doyoung: there is no fourth chicken is there

Jinyoung: obviously not

Doyoung: well played.

97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: you fuckers sent us on a wild goose chase for HOURS

Greekgod: ONLY TO TELL ME THERE WAS NO FOURTH CHICKEN

HitTheYug: someone seems tired ;)

Greekgod: You're a dead man Kim Yugyeom.

Thaibaby: hey now dont go threatening my boyfriend like that

Greekgod: as if you're off the hook

Thaibaby: fair

EarlyBird: I have to say this was fucking genius

EarlyBird: jinyoung hyung?

HitTheYug: who else

Greekgod: i don't CARE

Greekgod: THE COUCHES AND PILLOWS ARE TORN

Greekgod: ALL THE WOOD IS CHIPPED

Greekgod: THE VASES BROKEN

Greekgod: THERE ARE FEATHERS AND CHICKEN FOOD EVERYWHERE

Greekgod: WHICH FUCK YOU FOR THAT

Greekgod: ALL THIS BECAUSE OF FUCKING CHICKENS

KookieMonster: hey whered you get the chickens from

Thaibaby: jackson knows a guy

Greekgod: ALSO YOU HAD TO INCLUDE THE DREAMIES??

HitTheYug: listen that we admit is on us

HitTheYug: but then again we had no control where the chickens went SO

Thaibaby: also we never said no outside influence

KookieMonster: i can imagine 23 people running across four dorms looking for a fake missing
chicken SO VIVIDLY

Greekgod: You.

NCT Groupchat

Jaehyun: BTS HAVEN'T PRANKED ANYONE AND HAVEN'T BEEN PRANKED

Mark: the fuck????

Mark: nope thats not gonna pass

Taeyong: like hell its gonna pass

Taeyong: ideas come on

Yuta: how about we give them a scare

Taeyong: okay i like

Taeyong: but how

Johnny: loud noises?

Taeyong: cute but no

Doyoung: dolls.

Ten: I DONT FUCK WITH DOLLS

Jaehyun: EXACTLY THE POINT HYUNG

Doyoung: we get hundreds of dolls and puppets and place them all over the dorms

Doyoung: I won't rest until none of them feel safe to sleep.

Jungwoo: hyungs out for BLOOD

Taeyong: damn right he is and I love him for it

BTS Groupchat

Yoongi: what was that scream?

Namjoon: what scream

Taehyung: hyung and i are right outside the dorm and we heard screams

Jimin: DONT COME IN

Hoseok: DONT COME INTO THE DORM

Jimin: SHIT HOBI PASSED OUT HELP

Namjoon: WHAT?!

Yoongi: WE'RE GOING IN

Taehyung: NOPE NOPE ABSOLUTELY NOT

Taehyung: SOMEONE RESERVE A HOTEL

Namjoon: SOMEONE EXPLAIN WHAT'S GOING ON

Yoongi: the dorm is cancelled.

Namjoon: I'm coming.

Jimin: HYUNG NO

Namjoon: i was already on my way i need five minutes

Namjoon: NOPE DORM CANCELLED

Namjoon: @Jin @Jungkook DO NOT COME HERE

Yoongi: theyre not gonna answer now with their schedule

Leaders Groupchat

Namjoon: WHO IS IT

Namjoon: THANKS TO YOU WE ALL HAVE NIGHTMARES NOW

Taeyong: aw you sound so spooked!

Namjoon: IN THE TOILET?

Namjoon: REALLY?

JB: what the fuck did you do

Taeyong: [image]

JB: NOPE

Seungcheol: FUCKING HELL GIVE US A WARNING AT LEAST

Namjoon: our entire dorm is filled with hundreds of these

Namjoon: YOU REALLY THINK THIS IS FUNNY

Namjoon: HOBI PASSED OUT FROM FEAR

JinJin: I suggest you burn down the dorm

Seungcheol: yeah well my boyfriend is high on xanax pills from the aneurysm astro gave him

Seungcheol: what else is new

JinJin: haha losers

Namjoon: oh are we now

BTS Groupchat

Jungkook: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

Jin: WHY DID NO ONE TELL US ABOUT THIS

Jimin: WE DID

Jimin: YOU TWO WERENT ANSWERING

Jin: NOPE

Jin: NOT TODAY SATAN

Jungkook: WHICH FUCKER WAS IT

Namjoon: NCT.

Jungkook: THOSE BASTARDS

97-Liners Groupchat

KookieMonster: JUNG YOONOH WERE YOU AND YOUR GROUP TRYING TO KILL US?

Greekgod: oh don't be dramatic

KookieMonster: IM NOT??

KookieMonster: HOBI HYUNG PASSED OUT

KookieMonster: JIN HYUNG ALMOST DID

EarlyBird: what the fuck did you do

Greekgod: [image]

Greekgod: that

Lostboy: HELL NO

Lostboy: ION FUCK WITH DOLLS

Thaibaby: WERE YOU TRYING TO SUMMON THE DEVIL???

KookieMonster: we're at a hotel rn because there aint no way we're dealing with these creepy
fuckers in the middle of the night

EiffelPuppy: bro burn the dorm down

KookieMonster: I JUST MIGHT

KookieMonster: DUDE I FOUND A PUPPET IN MY SHOE

KookieMonster: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

Megaphone: holy fucking shit just looking at the picture gives me goosebumps

Megaphone: imagine the real thing

HitTheYug: no thanks.

KookieMonster: YEAH WELL THANKS TO JAE I DONT HAVE TO

Greekgod: enjoy!

BTS Groupchat

Namjoon: [image]

Namjoon: anyone else feeling like jinwoo is being way too smug rn?

Jin: I'm sitting in a hotel with a passed out member and two others buying snacks because I don't
have access right now to my very well-prepared and intricate kitchen and this guy has the
AUDACITY to laugh about it?

Jungkook: i dont know if you all can tell but i think jin hyungs pissed

Jin: YOU THINK

Yoongi: okay so we're targeting astro next

Jimin: check

Taehyung: also quick side note hyung do you want the salt and vinegar chips or the hot chili

Jungkook: ooo hot chili

Jin: get both

Yoongi: and dont forget my oranges

Yoongi: anyways what are we doing?

Jimin: is hobi hyung awake yet?

Namjoon: no but he's talking in his sleep

Namjoon: something about soap soccer

Jungkook: oo thats fun

Yoongi: wait

Yoongi: HES A GENIUS

Jin: oh my fucking god

Jin: JIMIN TAE HAVE YOU LEFT THE GROCERY STORE

Taehyung: no

Jin: get like 5 packs of laundry detergent with you

Jin: we're flooding ASTRO's dorm.

Private Chat: IU and Yoongi

IU: so how's the prank war?

Yoongi: haha what prank war

IU: chill the guys mentioned it when I was asking them for help and I said I'd rather not participate

Yoongi: ah okay

Yoongi: to summarize: seventeens dorm is pink, got7s dorm is sparkly, nct is busy trying to catch
chickens in their dorms, ours is filled with creepy dolls we dont know what to do with and we're
planning to flood astros dorm

IU: holy shit...

Yoongi: indeed

IU: they weren't kidding when they said it could get ugly

Yoongi: indeed

IU: hm

Yoongi: I dont like this tone

97-Liners Groupchat

EarlyBird: JEON JUNGKOOK I KNOW ITS YOU

EarlyBird: I COULDVE GOTTEN A CONCUSSION

KookieMonster: oh please
KookieMonster: the guys and I thought youd enjoy some soap soccer!

EiffelPuppy: soap soccer...?

EiffelPuppy: jeon jungkook did BTS flood astro's dorm?!

EarlyBird: [video]

EarlyBird: THE BUBBLE WON'T STOP COMING OUT OF THE WASHING MACHINE
HELP

Thaibaby: TURN IT OFF

EarlyBird: IT IS OFF

EarlyBird: THESE FUCKERS STASHED GOD KNOWS HOW MANY BOTTLES BRO

KookieMonster: about five liters of liquid laundry detergent id say

EarlyBird: oh geniunely fuck you

KookieMonster: we also poured some into your sinks and your toilets so

EarlyBird: WHAT

EarlyBird: BRO YOU KNOW WE CAN'T CALL A PLUMBER

EarlyBird: MANAGEMENT WILL FIND OUT

Greekgod: sounds like a you problem

EarlyBird: mark my words when I say this isn't over.

GOT7 Groupchat

Jackson: by the way we need those chickens back for the deposit

Mark: NCT wont hand them back tho

Youngjae: we steal them back?

JB: okay who's up for it?

Jinyoung: bam and yug know the dorms the most at this point

Bambam: if this is a reference to the broken bed incident respectfully fuck you hyung

Jinyoung: obviously it is

Jinyoung: anyways you two sneak in and grab the chickens

Yugyeom: fine but it better be worth it

~

BTS Groupchat

Yoongi: so what the fuck are we doing with the dolls

Hoseok: i say we call an exorcist

Jimin: I support hyung

Jungkook: I propose we take some of a the dolls and put them back into the NCT dorm

Namjoon: okay i like

Namjoon: whos gonna do it

Jin: kook

Jungkook: WHY ME

Jin: it was your idea

Jungkook: yoongi hyung started this conversation!

Yoongi: so that makes me responsible?

Jungkook: respectfully fuck you hyung

Yoongi: gladly ;)

Jungkook: i should not be turned on by that in these circumstances

Jungkook: OKAY FINE ILL DO IT

Jungkook: but im cant do it alone

Jungkook: hobi and jin hyung are out of the question because the last thing i need is creepy dolls
and two passed out bodies

Namjoon: maknae line then?

Hoseok: sounds good

Yoongi: probably the best

Jin: no arguments from me!

Taehyung: woooooow way to throw us under the bus like that

Jimin: real mature

Namjoon: reward when you come back? ;)

Jimin: DONE.
Jungkook: LETS GET GOING

Taehyung: wow we are way too easy

ASTRO Groupchat

Moonbin: who are we hitting next

MJ: nct?

JinJin: sure

Eunwoo: they deserve no mercy.

Sanha: damn hyung what they ever do to you?

JinJin: exist.

JinJin: anyways ideas? :)

Rocky: oo you guys know the tiny fireworks that only set off when you step on them?

Rocky: we throw them everywhere on the ground and the moment they step in they get a shock

Eunwoo: done.

EXO Groupchat

Sehun: I just realized I still have Jaehyuns jackets from when I borrowed it

Suho: baby that was like a month ago

Sehun: I knowww

Sehun: I feel bad

Sehun: I wanna return it but I havent seen him in the company for the last week

Sehun: or any of nct for that matter actually

Sehun: are they travelling?

Baekhyun: not that I know of

Baekhyun: i think theyve been finishing their schedules and heading straight back to the dorm

Sehun: oh weird

Sehun: guess I'll just head there?

Xiumin: sure why not

 Xiumin: say hi!

Sehun: will do!

Sehun: um

Sehun: its eerily quiet

Sehun: and all the lights are off

Chanyeol: uh what

Sehun: I dont know??

Sehun: im kinda freaked out not gonna lie

Kai: just knock?

Sehun: uh

Sehun: uh

Sehun: i knocked and the door opened alone

Kyungsoo: what the fuck??

Suho: sehun??

Suho: sehun

Kai: hes not answering??

Chanyeol: WHAT THE FUCK

Suho: SOMEONE CALL HIM

Kai: I DID HES NOT ANSWERING

Suho: FUCK

Chapter End Notes

Hi, I had no self-control and decided to immediately post the second part since I had it
written :D

No one's complaining though right? Good.

The chicken prank was actually a senior prank done at my school years before my
senior year lmao
Also GUYS: 90K+ READS SINCE WHEN HOLY SHIT???

And one more thing: 97 liners stans WE WON.

That's all from me for now

See you in part 3! (Soon probably bc as mentioned before: I have no self-control.)

 Of Groups and Wars Pt. 3
Chapter Summary

Of Groups and Wars pt. 3

Chapter Notes

Greekgod: Jaehyun
EarlyBird: Eunwoo
KookieMonster: Jungkook
Megaphone: DK
Lostboy: The8
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: we may have a problem.

HitTheYug: SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT

KookieMonster: WHAT DID WE DO

Megaphone: WHAT HAPPENED

EarlyBird: fuck we're so fucked

Thaibaby: [image]

EiffelPuppy: DID YOU KIDNAP SEHUN HYUNG

Greekgod: WELL NOT INTENTIONALLY

Lostboy: WHAT THE FUCK

EarlyBird: so like

EarlyBird: my group wanted to prank nct so we threw those mini step-on fireworks everywhere

EarlyBird: and apparently BTS wanted to scare NCT with the dolls they used

Megaphone: why the fuck is got7 there

Thaibaby: we were trying to get our chickens back problem?

Megaphone: uh okay

Lostboy: so basically everyones there except for us

Lostboy: wow thanks for the invite

HitTheYug: CAN WE FOCUS THATS NOT OUR PROBLEM RIGHT NOW

EarlyBird: anyways so idk what sehun wanted with nct but it was dark and we were all hiding in
different areas of the dorm

EarlyBird: and suddenly he opens the dorm door???

EarlyBird: and then we all panic and then sehun steps onto the fireworks and starts screaming so
johnny hyung and jaehyun just grab him??

EarlyBird: and kinda shush him and we all come out and then i dont know what happened and
now hes suddenly tied to a chair begging to be released?

EiffelPuppy: HOW DOES ONE SUDDENLY GET TIED TO A CHAIR

EarlyBird: so we all call our hyungs and now everyone is staring at sehun hyung trying to decide
what to do

Lostboy: WHY DID YOU TIE HIM UP IN THE FIRST PLACE

Thaibaby: BECAUSE WE DONT WANT MANAGERS TO FIND OUT?

Megaphone: SO YOU TIE HIM UP?

Thaibaby: THERES NO GUARANTEE THAT HE WONT FESS UP

EiffelPuppy: SO YOU TIE HIM UP

KookieMonster: WE HAD TO CONTAIN HIM SOMEHOW

Lostboy: SO YOU TIE HIM UP

Greekgod: YES WE TIED HIM UP

Greekgod: in conclusion

Greekgod: YOU THREE AND THE REST OF SEVENTEEN GET IN HERE

Megaphone: fucking hell we're gonna be in so much trouble

Thaibaby: and be careful of the fireworks

KookieMonster: and the dolls

HitTheYug: and the chickens in the corner

Greekgod: and the broken wires that the chickens bit and left us with no electricity

EarlyBird: ah so that's why it's dark

KookieMonster: uh guys should we tape sehuns mouth?

KookieMonster: hes screaming way too much

KookieMonster: nvm doyoung hyung already did it

KookieMonster: FUCK

Leaders Groupchat

Seungcheol: HOW DOES ONE FUCK UP THIS BAD

Taeyong: WE PANICKED OKAY

JB: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU

Seungcheol: ON OUR WAY GODDAMN YOU

Seungcheol: YOU KIDNAPPED A WHOLE ASS MAN

Namjoon: ACCIDENTLY

Seungcheol: HOW DOES ONE "ACCIDENTLY" KIDNAP A MAN

Seungcheol: KIM NAMJOON HOW DID YOU APPROVE THIS

Namjoon: LISTEN

JinJin: YOU WERENT THERE HYUNG OKAY

JB: ALSO THE KCIA APPROVED IT SO

Seungcheol: THE KCIA WOULD MURDER SOMEONE IN COLD BLOOD OF COURSE

THEY'D APPROVE THIS

Seungcheol: JEONGHAN'S FLICKING A LIGHTER ON AND OFF WITH A CREEPY SMILE

ON HIS FACE THAT I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE HE GOT FROM

Taeyong: wow these are the people we love huh

JinJin: NOW GET HERE SO WE CAN NEGOTIATE WITH SUHO HYUNG

Seungcheol: IM COMING

[JB added Suho to the group]

Suho: GIVE ME BACK MY MEMBER

Seungcheol: hey now lets not be hasty

Suho: you're all involved in this

Suho: why are you all involved in this

Namjoon: you will get him back if sehun, you, and your members promise not to say anything
about this incident or anything he saw

Suho: and what did he say?

Taeyong: he's still screaming

Suho: sounds like sehun alright

Suho: tell me what's happening.

JB: fine.

JB: we're in a prank war and no one has any idea

JinJin: and for everyones sake we would like to keep it this way

Suho: a prank war you say?

Suho: and what guarantees you that I won't tell?

Suho: give me sehun back and maybe I won't spill your secret :)

Taeyong: my dear lovely hyung

Taeyong: are you threatening us?

Suho: take it as you will

Seungcheol: have you forgotten that time that exo broke the security alarm and forced all of sme
into an emergency evacuation and check up

Suho: ....

Suho: how do you know about that

JinJin: the KCIA knows everything

Suho: fuck

Taeyong: you know to this day they still wonder what happened

Suho: OKAY

Suho: uh

Suho: I have a black card?

JB: most of us have black cards here and?

Suho: shit right

Seungcheol: We don't ask for much

Suho: you give me sehun back and I convince everyone to shut up?

Namjoon: you forget about this whole ordeal.

Suho: haha what ordeal

Namjoon: that's more like it.

JB: you may come collect him

JB: just beware of the fireworks on the floor

Namjoon: and the dolls

EarlyBird: and the chickens in the corner

Taeyong: and the broken wires that the chickens ate

JinJin: WAIT I SEE A CHICKEN TRYING TO ESCAPE

JB: CATCH IT

97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: so uh since we technically kidnapped an idol

Greekgod: I'm guessing this is a sign to .... pause the prank war....?

Megaphone: you think?

Greekgod: also @EarlyBird fuck you our floor has mini burn marks on it

EarlyBird: hush just add it to the bill of damages

Greekgod: damn right we will

Megaphone: good run everybody

HitTheYug: right

Lostboy: uh lets just hope suho hyung keeps his word?

KookieMonster: he better.

Thaibaby: who knew hyungs had so much dirt on exo?

EiffelPuppy: are we really surprised

EarlyBird: I can't say I am

Thaibaby: right right

Greekgod: let's split the costs?

EarlyBird: alright give me the numbers I'll do the math

Leaders Groupchat

Suho: SO

JB: right you're still here

Suho: the disrespect

Suho: so you fuckers had a prank war and it seems we haven't been invited even though many
important groups were participating.

Taeyong: uh well hyung you aren't a member here nor part of the 97 liners

Suho: oh please sehun was practically an honorary member of the 97 liners

Seungcheol: TEMPORARILY

Suho: STILL

Namjoon: please at this rate IU bang chan lisa soobin irene and jaemin should be counted too

Suho: hm

JinJin: NO

JinJin: ABSOLUTELY NOT

JinJin: WE JUST PAUSED THIS ONE

Suho: pause you say?

Seungcheol: HE MEANS ENDED

Suho: you said pause

Taeyong: HYUNG PLEASE

Suho: you know what

Suho: we're letting this go for now

Suho: I'll be seeing you :)

[Suho left the groupchat]

 JB: fuck?

Namjoon: indeed.

Chapter End Notes

Hope y'all enjoyed the third and last part of this trainwreck! Did the prank war live up
to your expectations? :D

Man, sometimes I have no idea what goes on in my brain.

Curious question: does everyone have the usernames memorized at this point or just
me?
 Of Farms and Aftermaths
Chapter Summary

In which, they suffer the consequences.

Chapter Notes

KookieMonster: Jungkook
EarlyBird: Eunwoo
Greekgod: Jaehyun
Lostboy: The8
Megaphone: DK
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom

See the end of the chapter for more notes

97-Liners Groupchat

EiffelPuppy: so how's everyone's situations out there?

EarlyBird: my group is trying to figure out how the fuck we're gonna sneak in a plumbing team
without alerting the company or managers and in the middle of a full schedule

KookieMonster: uhhh yeah thats gonna be tough

EarlyBird: bro our schedule is packed and we can't just leave the plumbers alone

Greekgod: take shifts

Greekgod: it's the only way

EarlyBird: fuck you're probably right

Greekgod: my group is trying to figure out exactly where to start

Greekgod: probably the electrician right

Lostboy: youve been sitting in darkness all this time??

Greekgod: what?

Greekgod: you expect me to march to management and complain about the electricity?

Greekgod: its like you want us to be exposed

Lostboy: fair

Greekgod: and besides we've been using candles

Thaibaby: just use your phone flashlights bro

Greekgod: yes and how do you expect me to save battery because I can't charge my phone because
your chickens ruined the power in our dorm

Thaibaby: i sense some anger in there?

KookieMonster: bam i swear to god

Thaibaby: anyways ive been trying to figure out my next vacation destination

Megaphone: excuse me?

Megaphone: isnt your dorm flooded with glitter?

Thaibaby: my dorm is a problem for six other people as well

HitTheYug: Kunpimook Bhuwakul get back here this instant or I'm getting jinyoung hyung on
your fucking ass.

KookieMonster: OH FUCK

EarlyBird: it was nice knowing you bam

Thaibaby: haha baby i was just kidding?

HitTheYug: Grab a vaccuum.

Thaibaby: yes sir

EiffelPuppy: holy shit I've probably never seen yug this angry???

Lostboy: damn bro im shaking

Greekgod: well we know what got7 is doing

Greekgod: what about you guys

Megaphone: we're gearing up to go on a deep cleanse

Megaphone: bro the stench of the fake blood STINKS

Lostboy: [image]

KookieMonster: are you gearing up to clean or for a zombie apocalypse

EiffelPuppy: Listen

EiffelPuppy: joshua hyung is letting use his hardcore cleaning shit

EiffelPuppy: the ones that can peel your skin off if used wrong

EiffelPuppy: we're not taking chances

EarlyBird: jesus fucking christ and I thought I was obsessive

Lostboy: HA

Lostboy: YOU THOUGHT

Megaphone: anyways we'll be seeing you

Greekgod: yikes good luck

Greekgod: @KookieMonster what about you

KookieMonster: yeah well hyungs and i are trying to figure out what to do with the dolls

KookieMonster: will let you know

EarlyBird: well fuck

Greekgod: ?

EarlyBird: jinwoo hyung talked to the plumbers and according to their assessment it'll take them
the entire day no breaks

Greekgod: the entire day?

Greekgod: bro how fucked up are your pipes??

EarlyBird: pretty fucking fucked up no thanks to @KookieMonster

KookieMonster: we were in a prank war

KookieMonster: you knew this was coming

KookieMonster: move on newbie

EarlyBird: i swear to god

EarlyBird: anyways we managed to sneak him in today without anyone finding out and we're
taking turns

EarlyBird: it's my watch rn

Greekgod: okay progress at least

Greekgod: so the electrician says its gonna take him a while

Greekgod: so we're going to ikea

KookieMonster: nice

EiffelPuppy: guys question

EiffelPuppy: [image]

EiffelPuppy: do you think hyung would like the purple or red floor wash

KookieMonster: and how the actual fuck are we supposed to knoe

KookieMonster: go ask your group??

Greekgod: aren't you supposed to be deepcleaning anyways

Lostboy: well yeah

Lostboy: but we ran out of some cleaning supplies so they sent gyu and I to get some

EarlyBird: they sent you two?

EiffelPuppy: problem?

Lostboy: what?

Lostboy: would you have rathered they send vernon instead?

Lostboy: and besides you absolutely cannot come close to both joshua and jeonghan hyungs

EiffelPuppy: and the rest are too scared to set them off

EiffelPuppy: and now if we get the wrong shit they'll kill us so HELP

Greekgod: what happens if you ask...?

Lostboy: do you really wanna know

EiffelPuppy: you want us dead don't you

EarlyBird: yeah no nvm I would so not rather be in your shoes rn

KookieMonster: um

Megaphone: I'm risking my neck texting you guys

Megaphone: get the red and HURRY

Lostboy: oh thank god you answered

Megaphone: and you better have gotten the clorox and the stain removers

Megaphone: I beg you

Greekgod: okay so note to self: do not come anywhere near close to seventeen in the next few
days

KookieMonster: copy that

EarlyBird: noted!

Lostboy: shit theyre out of stain remover

Megaphone: NO

EiffelPuppy: baby distract them with anything while we get to the other store

Megaphone: YOU OWE ME

Lostboy: OKAY

EarlyBird: yeah no imma slowly back out

KookieMonster: same here

Greekgod: ^

EarlyBird: we haven't heard from got7 in a while

KookieMonster: oh shit yeah

EarlyBird: @Thaibaby @HitTheYug are you dead???

HitTheYug: well

HitTheYug: [image]

Greekgod: okay I've seen those specific legs wrapped around yall and me so many times

Greekgod: did you seriously shove bam up there in the airvents?

HitTheYug: yup

HitTheYug: and well

HitTheYug: its not going well

HitTheYug: the glitter went up his nose and he keeps sneezing

HitTheYug: shit he hit his head

KookieMonster: bro hes gonna have a concussion

EarlyBird: how's the glitter removal?

HitTheYug: bad

HitTheYug: just when you think you finished cleaning an area you find MORE glitter
HitTheYug: its like theyre reproducing wtf???

EarlyBird: sounds fun!

HitTheYug: fuck you

HitTheYug: shit he hit his head again

Greekgod: I'm gonna agree with kook and say mark my words he's gonna have a concussion

HitTheYug: yeah no imma pull him out of there

Greekgod: oh shit gotta go

KookieMonster: WAIT NAMJOON HYUNG TEXTED THAT SEJIN IS COMING OVER

RIGHT NOW

EarlyBird: oh shit

97-Liners Groupchat

KookieMonster: sup

EarlyBird: that doesn't sound too good

EarlyBird: what happened

KookieMonster: so sejin hyung decided to pass by!

KookieMonster: cue all of us shoving all the dolls in my room because its the furthest down the
hall

KookieMonster: and now i refuse to enter my room!

EarlyBird: burn.

EarlyBird: your.

EarlyBird: room.

KookieMonster: BRO IF THIS CONTINUES I WILL

KookieMonster: IVE LITERALLY HAD A NIGHTMARE WHERE ONE OF THOSE DOLLS

CHASED ME

EarlyBird: bruh

KookieMonster: if I open my door theyre gonna fall out

EarlyBird: just exactly how many did nct pack into your dorm???

KookieMonster: IDK HUNDREDS

EarlyBird: damn

KookieMonster: anyways

KookieMonster: so half of ncts at ikea, one seventh of got7 is in a vent and seventeen is in crunch
mode

KookieMonster: whats the deal with you

EarlyBird: oh im on my way to the dorm again

EarlyBird: had to swap shifts with moonbin because logistics

KookieMonster: looks like its under control!

EarlyBird: so far yes

KookieMonster: dont jinx yourself

EarlyBird: i walked in to find jinwoo and mj hyungs in the dorm

EarlyBird: and then a few minutes later sanha walked in

EarlyBird: but then moonbin walks in???

EarlyBird: wait the door opened again

EarlyBird: WHATS MINHYUK DOING HERE

EarlyBird: wait

EarlyBird: if we're all here..

EarlyBird: WHO'S AT THE COMPANY

KookieMonster: man i literally told you dont jinx yourself

EarlyBird: SHIT MANAGERS ARE CALLING

KookieMonster: oh my fucking god

HitTheYug: um

KookieMonster: what did you do.

HitTheYug: so like mayhaps bam is stuck in said airvent

KookieMonster: BRO

HitTheYug: we've been trying to free him but it isnt working

HitTheYug: WHAT DO I DO

HitTheYug: and please dont say butter

KookieMonster: let me guess

KookieMonster: you tried and it didnt work?

HitTheYug: maybe.

KookieMonster: jin hyung says either oil or dishsoap

HitTheYug: we'll try the dishsoap

Greekgod: guess who's kicked out of ikea!

KookieMonster: this day keeps getting worse

KookieMonster: what the fuck happened

Greekgod: haechan and jungwoo knocked down an entire display

KookieMonster: why the fuck am I not surprised

Greekgod: safe to say this branch of ikea will not be letting us in anymore

KookieMonster: of course it wont

Greekgod: you think the electrician will distract taeyong and doyoung hyungs enough before they
find out we got kicked out?

KookieMonster: i fear for your life rn so i hope so

Greekgod: great.

KookieMonster: @EiffelPuppy @Megaphone @Lostboy say hey if youre alive

KookieMonster: say hi if barely

Megaphone: hi

Lostboy: hi

EiffelPuppy: hi

KookieMonster: do I wanna know?

Megaphone: just know that the cleaning rampage hyungs went on somehow didnt work and so we
hired professional cleaners

KookieMonster: bruh
KookieMonster: couldnt you have done that since the beginning?

EiffelPuppy: you do not understand how picky and particular joshua hyung is

EiffelPuppy: he cleans after the cleaners

EiffelPuppy: nothing satisfies him

KookieMonster: wow okay

Lostboy: you should see him in hotels

KookieMonster: i think im good

Lostboy: oh and now we're trying to convince security to not report the sea of cleaners that went
into the building

KookieMonster: let me guess

KookieMonster: its a mess?

Megaphone: big time.

KookieMonster: fun!

HitTheYug: so good news!

Thaibaby: im out of the fucking vent no thanks to my members

KookieMonster: first of all

KookieMonster: congrats

KookieMonster: second of all

KookieMonster: hows your head?

Thaibaby: throbbing.

KookieMonster: i suggest and im sure jae agrees that you get that checked out

Thaibaby: i hope i have a fucking concussion so i can throw it in my boyfriends' face

HitTheYug: sorry baby

Thaibaby: hmph

HitTheYug: anyways

HitTheYug: kookieeeee

HitTheYug: my bestest friend in the entire worlddddd

KookieMonster: what the fuck do you want.

HitTheYug: so like

HitTheYug: jackson tried returning the chickens for the deposit

HitTheYug: but the chicken guy complained that one of them had missing feathers and what not

HitTheYug: so now we're stuck with one chicken and we dont know what to do with it

KookieMonster: and what the fuck does that have to do with me?

Thaibaby: does taehyung hyung want a chicken? :D

KookieMonster: tae...?

KookieMonster: wait.

KookieMonster: we are not going to daegu to drop your chicken at taes family farm.

Thaibaby: PLEASE

Thaibaby: WE LITERALLY DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO WITH IT

KookieMonster: AND HOW THE FUCK WILL I EXPLAIN AN IMPROMPTU TRIP TO

DAEGU TO MANAGEMENT

HitTheYug: KOOKIE PLEASE

KookieMonster: you owe me.

Thaibaby: WE LOVE YOUUUUUU

KookieMonster: shut the fuck up.

Greekgod: you seriously convinced kook to go to daegu now???

HitTheYug: they just took Beef from us

EiffelPuppy: you named the chicken Beef?

Thaibaby: problem?

Greekgod: i seriously wonder what goes on in your brain sometimes

KookieMonster: hi this is tae!

Megaphone: hi hyung

KookieMonster: kooks driving rn but he wants to tell you that beef is a stupid name

HitTheYug: respectfully ignoring this statement because its a genius name

KookieMonster: and!

KookieMonster: whatever the disaster twins owe kook, you owe me too.

Thaibaby: yes hyung.

HitTheYug: of course hyung.

KookieMonster: that is all!

Lostboy: curious question hyung

Lostboy: what did you tell management?

KookieMonster: meh told them I had a family medical emergency, shed a few tears, demanded i
go right now and take kook for moral support

KookieMonster: and they let me go!

Megaphone: amazing

EiffelPuppy: note to self: do not mess with Kim Taehyung

KookieMonster: :D

KookieMonster: anyways kookie asks you guys what happened

Megaphone: right well in a nutshell: the cleaners couldnt remove the stain either and now we're
gaslighting ourselves into loving our pink living room

HitTheYug: you could buy new furniture?

EiffelPuppy: we'd have to paint the walls too

EiffelPuppy: too much effort

Greekgod: you know what

Greekgod: fair

Greekgod: anyways

Greekgod: good news!

Greekgod: the other ikea didn't kick us out and we bought a carpet!

Lostboy: so basically you managed the basic tasks

Lostboy: bravo.

Megaphone: and the bad news?

Greekgod: pft what makes you say that

KookieMonster: jaehyun

Greekgod: there's no power in all the dorms now

Megaphone: and there it is.

Thaibaby: bro geniunely how

Greekgod: don't ask me.

Greekgod: I'm too tired to care

HitTheYug: hey has anyone heard from eunwoo?

EarlyBird: alive

EarlyBird: ish

Lostboy: did you get in trouble with management?

EarlyBird: yes

Lostboy: did they find out about the plumbers in your dorm?

EarlyBird: no

Lostboy: are your schedules any lighter?

EarlyBird: hell no.

EiffelPuppy: big yikes.

KookieMonster: we finally made it to the farm

KookieMonster: [image]

KookieMonster: proof that beef is living his best life now

Lostboy: aw cute!

KookieMonster: anyways disaster twins @HitTheYug @Thaibaby

KookieMonster: make sure to show your hyungs the proof

HitTheYug: ight after the hospital

KookieMonster: let me guess

KookieMonster: you took bam to check out his head?

HitTheYug: yup

Greekgod: and he has a mild concussion?

Thaibaby: yup

EarlyBird: just when I thought nothing could get worse today

Megaphone: babe you underestimate us and the disaster twins

Thaibaby: yup

EiffelPuppy: get some rest bam!

KookieMonster: taes mom is insisting on stuffing me with all kinds of food help

Lostboy: kook you love food

KookieMonster: yes but this woman will not stop until i am physically out of the premises

KookieMonster: shes worse than ahjumma

Megaphone: oh shit

Megaphone: sounds rough buddy

HitTheYug: hyungs say thank you for taking care of the chicken!

KookieMonster: yeah yeah

KookieMonster: and shes calling me over again

EarlyBird: rip

Greekgod: ight guys throw your updates

Greekgod: we got the power back on and a new carpet

Greekgod: we still need everything else.

Thaibaby: im on bed rest and the airvents let out bubbles now because of the dishsoap

EarlyBird: so the pipes were cleared out and unclogged!

EarlyBird: the washing machine might need another minute tho

EiffelPuppy: our living room is pink.

Lostboy: and we love it haha

HitTheYug: and we're assuming kook is on his way back to seoul

Greekgod: good job team

Greekgod: we got through the worst of it

EarlyBird: i need a drink

 Megaphone: same here my friend

HitTheYug: dont we all

KookieMonster: guys seriously does anyone have any idea what to do with the dolls?

KookieMonster: im desperate

Chapter End Notes

Did y'all notice how this chapter didn't feature any other groupchats?

I noticed how heavily my fic focuses on the different interactions across about seven
main groupchats by now and decided hey! Why not have a chapter that focuses only
on the 97 liners groupchat as an ode to the earlier chapters?

Anyways, idk it felt important to me so let me know your opinions!

 Of Dogs and Origins
Chapter Summary

In which the story is revealed.

Chapter Notes

KookieMonster: Jungkook
Greekgod: Jaehyun
Lostboy: The8
Megaphone: DK
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom

See the end of the chapter for more notes

2022

97-Liners Groupchat

KookieMonster: when im in a being dumb competition and my opponent is bambam

Thaibaby: what the fuck

KookieMonster: hi bam

Thaibaby: im gonna fucking yeet you

KookieMonster: how 2017 of you

Thaibaby: literally choke on my dick

KookieMonster: haha nothing I havent done before ;)

Greekgod: oh my fucking god

Megaphone: yeah uh what prompted this?

Thaibaby: ask the gremlin???

HitTheYug: and you had to bring up the past???

KookieMonster: hey they were fun times okay

Lostboy: i agree
EiffelPuppy: yup

EarlyBird: everyday i open this chat and die a little on the inside

Lostboy: haha loser

Megaphone: okay but that time that kook actually choked on cum and ended up in a coughing fit

Megaphone: gyu had to cpr him

EarlyBird: how the fuck???

KookieMonster: dont ask bro

KookieMonster: i still dont know

HitTheYug: no seriously all we wanted was a good time and suddenly someone was dying

EarlyBird: jfc

Greekgod: or that time minghao pulled a tendon in the middle of sex LMAO

Megaphone: i wish i could say that was the last time he did

Thaibaby: wait he pulled one again????

Megaphone: twice

Thaibaby: the fuck

Thaibaby: ming....

Lostboy: I will not be taking criticism from you mr broke his tooth trying to kiss gyu upside down
on monkey bars and fell

EiffelPuppy: LMAOOO GOOD TIMES

EarlyBird: monkey bars....?

Thaibaby: HUSH

EarlyBird: oh my fucking lord

EarlyBird: how did you even get into this situation

EarlyBird: like how'd you meet?

HitTheYug: haha funny story actually

EarlyBird: i can tell.

Greekgod: you want the short version or the long version

EarlyBird: well
EarlyBird: all my members are out and its an off day today

EarlyBird: i got time

EiffelPuppy: alright roll the tape!

2015

BTS Groupchat

Namjoon: okay so apparently everything is finalized and our collab with got7 is a go!

Hoseok: oh hell yes

Hoseok: their dancing is amazing

Taehyung: yes!!

Namjoon: we'll be going to jyps building tomorrow and practicing there so i want everyone to be
on their best behavior

Jin: yes joon ah

Jungkook: yes hyung!

Yoongi: yeah yeah

Namjoon: I'm serious!

Namjoon: I'm looking at you jimin and tae

Jimin: pft hyung

Taehyung: hyung!

GOT7 Groupchat

Jaebeom: yug whered you go?

Jaebeom: BTS are coming any minute now

Yugyeom: bathroom!

Yugyeom: be back in a few minutes

Jaebeom: ah okay

Private Chat: Yugyeom and Bambam

Bambam: yug

Bambam: where the fuck are you BTS are here

Yugyeom: haha funny story!

Bambam: yug please dont tell me you did something stupid

Yugyeom: so like i went to the toilets right

Yugyeom: while i was there i hear someone cursing

Yugyeom: turns out its jungkook from BTS!

Bambam: ah yeah they mentioned he needed the toilet too

Yugyeom: anyways so like apparently he was trying to flush but then it didnt?

Yugyeom: so i offered to help!

Yugyeom: and now we kinda flooded the toilets and are soaked pls help

Bambam: oh my fucking god im coming

2022

EarlyBird: wait wait wait wait

EarlyBird: hold on

EarlyBird: so your first ever meeting was in a bathroom which both of you flooded

KookieMonster: yup

HitTheYug: then bam had the genius idea of stuffing the toilets with toilet paper which obviously
didnt work

Thaibaby: so the three of us went back wet and dripping to the practice room!

KookieMonster: it was not a fun night

EarlyBird: yeah no shit if you made the place smell like sewers

HitTheYug: ah no see the good thing is that jyps very picky and have filters upon filters for
sewers

KookieMonster: good thing really

EarlyBird: I wish I can say I'm surprised the first meeting was a disaster but I'm not

Megaphone: be honest is anyone?

Lostboy: i cant same i am

HitTheYug: oh hush as if you made a better impression

EarlyBird: what happened?

Thaibaby: we're getting there chill

2015

*Yugyeom created the groupchat 97-Liners Groupchat*

*Yugyeom added Bambam*

*Yugyeom added Jungkook*

Yugyeom: well since we flooded a bathroom together

Yugyeom: i say we're bonded for life now

Bambam: agreed

Jungkook: omg hi!

Jungkook: sorry im just surprised you guys made a group with me

Bambam: kook

Bambam: again

Bambam: we flooded a bathroom together on our first meeting

Bambam: we in it for life.

Jungkook: id love that :)

2022

EarlyBird: AW SHY BABY KOOK FINALLY HAVING FRIENDS??

KookieMonster: SHUT UP

HitTheYug: i almost cried that night bro

KookieMonster: wish the ground can swallow me up rn

Greekgod: alright alright stop teasing him

Megaphone: aw come on its fun!

EarlyBird: alright alright I'm sorry

EarlyBird: but it's honestly very sweet

KookieMonster: yeah okay

KookieMonster: continue?

Lostboy: oh no

EarlyBird: im guessing this is where you three come in

Lostboy: yeah...

Early 2016

97-Liners Groupchat

Jungkook: good luck in tonights award show!!

Yugyeom: you too kookie!

Bambam: we'll look for you there

Jungkook: okay!

Jungkook: hey bam how come yugs not next to you

Bambam: he went to the bathroom

Jungkook: bam...

Jungkook: the last time yug disappeared in the toilets we flooded them together

Bambam: shit.

Jungkook: ill come with you to search

Bambam: works

Yugyeom: so

Bambam: where the fuck are you

Jungkook: please tell me you didnt flood the bathroom again

Yugyeom: gee thanks for your faith in me

Yugyeom: no

Yugyeom: although we might need help

Bambam: we?

Yugyeom: well they more like

Jungkook: they?

Yugyeom: the seventeen 97 liners!

Bambam: fucking hell what happened

Yugyeom: bro idk

Yugyeom: all i heard were shouts of pain from a dressing room

Yugyeom: turns out seokmin-ssis bracelet is stuck in minghao-ssis earring and his earring is stuck
with mingyu-ssis jacket

Yugyeom: SHIT I THINK HIS EARS BLEEDING

Jungkook: BREAK IT UP

Yugyeom: IM TRYING BUT THEYRE STUCK

Bambam: we're coming

Yugyeom: THEY FELL AND BROKE THE MIRROR

Bambam: WE'RE COMING

*Yugyeom added Mingyu*

*Yugyeom added The8*

*Yugyeom added DK*

Mingyu: hi!

Mingyu: we never thanked you properly for helping us so thank you!

The8: really appreciate you guys saving my ear from being torn

Bambam: uh huh

DK: and helping us get rid of the broken mirror pieces

Jungkook: mhm

Mingyu: and helping us clean up all the spilled makeup

Yugyeom: and?

DK: and helping us look presentable in time

Bambam: okay now we're satisfied :D

The8: very glad you finally are

Jungkook: i sense sarcasm

The8: oh do you now

Yugyeom: yup youre officially welcome into the group!

2022

EarlyBird: so to recap

EarlyBird: your first meeting with seventeen involved blood, broken objects, and frantically
rearranging everything before anyone finds out and you get into trouble

Megaphone: yup

Lostboy: exactly

HitTheYug: to sum it up yes

EarlyBird: why does this sound like everything we do around here

Thaibaby: see

EiffelPuppy: I'd like to argue that things around here got even crazier

EarlyBird: I mean idk what happened before so I can't really judge but judging by our last prank
war I'd agree

Greekgod: trust me bro the only thing you really missed on was the sexual aspect of our
relationship

KookieMonster: yeah thats about it

EarlyBird: so how did you guys meet jaehyun then?

Thaibaby: jaehyun was an interesting addition...

EarlyBird: till now all your additions were 'interesting'

Lostboy: no no trust us on this one

HitTheYug: trouble follows us where we go I guess

EarlyBird: no shit

Late 2016
Bambam: yall going to the awards after party right?

Bambam: please say yes

DK: obviously

Jungkook: yup yup

The8: PARTY

Mingyu: cheers to that!

Yugyeom: guys

Yugyeom: anyone else sees a suspicious figure on the balcony??

DK: what the fuck?

DK: you think its a creep?

Bambam: deadass could be

Mingyu: I'm not getting good vibes from this

The8: okay plan

The8: should we tell anyone?

Jungkook: and send everyone into a panic?

Jungkook: hell no!

Bambam: okay new plan!

Bambam: kook gyu and ming confront and beat up the guy

Mingyu: why us???

Bambam: muscles

Bambam: and

Yugyeom: muscles

Jungkook: gee thanks

The8: okay wait i found an empty glass

Mingyu: I'll grab a stick from those small banners they gave us

Jungkook: i got a metal rod

DK: kook where the fuck did you get a metal rod from???
Jungkook: just dont ask

Yugyeom: okay we'll be watching you

Jungkook: fucking false alarm

Mingyu: it was jaehyun-ssi from nct

Bambam: seriously??

Bambam: just come back then

The8: no we're hiding

DK: the fuck?

DK: from what?

Jungkook: well jaehyuns hiding from the party and now if people see us theyre gonna find out and
drag him back to the party

Yugyeom: whys he hiding

Mingyu: too much crowd

Yugyeom: fair

Bambam: hey wait doesnt the balcony have a fire escape yall can use to go downstairs?

The8: oh shit yeah!!

The8: wait the bars too high for even gyu to reach it

Jungkook: gyus gonna lift ming on his shoulders but you guys are gonna need to make sure we're
not seen

Yugyeom: ight we got it

DK: where the fuck did you four even disappear to

DK: we've been making excuses for your disappearance all this time

Yugyeom: we're seriously running out of excuses

The8: so we got the bar down accessed the fire escape right

The8: went down and almost celebrated our victory when we heard several voices talking

The8: they were the managers and drivers!

Mingyu: so we ran in opposite direction and were happy to be finally safe

Bambam: i sense a but

Mingyu: but then we came face to face with an angry dog that started chasing us

Yugyeom: what the fuck??

Mingyu: yup

Mingyu: I don't know how we lost it

Mingyu: but I'm glad we did because I bust a lung

Jungkook: i can barely breathe

Jungkook: and now we have a new addition!

*Mingyu added Jaehyun*

Jaehyun: I was told you six were the reason why I almost got my head bashed with a glass cup and
metal rod?

Yugyeom: our bad!

Yugyeom: to be fair you looked a creep

Jaehyun: I was hiding!

Bambam: yeah well you werent doing a great job if we saw you!

Jaehyun: touché

DK: you're hot

Jaehyun: um

Jaehyun: thank you.....?

DK: NO I MEAN

DK: you were hot

Jaehyun: so I'm not anymore....?

DK: NO

Mingyu: what he means is he remembers you from your school days but was always intimidated to
talk to you back then

Jaehyun: OH

Jaehyun: yeah I remember!

Jaehyun: I promise I don't bite tho :(

DK: YOU SHOULD

The8: uh excuse our friend his brain-to-mouth filter isnt working rn

Jaehyun: listen I'm the one who almost got severely injured and was chased by a dog

Jungkook: uh the four of us were chased by said dog thank you very much

DK: ok I found my brain-to-mouth filter

DK: basically what I was trying to say is that what mingyu said was true but now that we're
graduated and both idols let's be friends!

Jaehyun: honestly?

Jaehyun: you guys almost killed me, helped me escape a party, and let me get chased by a
viscious dog

Jaehyun: I'd like to be friends :D

2022

EarlyBird: so somehow almost killing someone is code for let's be best friends forever???????

KookieMonster: in this group yeah

EiffelPuppy: yup

EarlyBird: jfc

EarlyBird: I have a headache

EarlyBird: also pls seoks nonexistent mouth filter has me cackling LMAOOO

Megaphone: SHUSH

Megaphone: HE WAS LITERALLY EVERYONES CRUSH IN SCHOOL

Greekgod: aw seok

Megaphone: no shut up

Megaphone: weve been through this phase and we're over it now

Megaphone: i dont wanna hear a single word

EarlyBird: embarrassing

Megaphone: BE.

Megaphone: QUIET.
 EarlyBird: for the sake of the vein popping on your forehead I will

EarlyBird: I geniunely don't know which is worse

KookieMonster: listen the flooded bathroom was nasty

Lostboy: yeah but my ear was bleeding

Greekgod: idk man that dog was pretty scary ngl

Thaibaby: okay looking back to all of these

Thaibaby: what the fuck are the situations we get into

EiffelPuppy: don't ask

EiffelPuppy: just don't

EarlyBird: yeah no I half regret asking

EarlyBird: so that's how you first met

EarlyBird: how did that manage to evolve into being fuck buddies?

Greekgod: now that's a bit more complicated

Chapter End Notes

*crossing fingers* really hope this made sense no one got confused.

Anyways, how you like their origin stories ;)

 Of Bowling and Hookups
Chapter Summary

Of Dogs and Origins pt. 2

Chapter Notes

Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
Greekgod: Jaehyun
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Lostboy: The8
Megaphone: DK
EarlyBird: Eunwoo
KookieMonster: Jungkook

See the end of the chapter for more notes

2017

Bambam: yall

Bambam: if you could have one animal that doesnt exist which one would it be

DK: probably a pegasus

DK: its a horse that can fly man

Yugyeom: valid but think about a dragon

Yugyeom: it can fly and breathe fire

Jaehyun: its all fun and games until you get burned tho

Yugyeom: pft

Mingyu: for some reason I can seriously imagine an accident like that happening with yug tbh

Yugyeom: Ha. Ha.

Minghao: plssss his eyebrows would probably get caught on fire HAHAHAH

Bambam: omfg yug without eyebrows is not an image i wanted to have

DK: LMAOOOO
KookieMonster: haha

Minghao: PLS IMAGINE IT THO

Private Chat: Yugyeom and Jungkook

Yugyeom: kookie

Yugyeom: you okay?

Jungkook: im fine why

Yugyeom: idk you seemed off on the group

Yugyeom: seriously though you can tell me anything

Jungkook: I

Jungkook: Im just frustrated I guess?

Jungkook: new comeback is stressing everyone out and I have all these pent up emotions that idk
how to deal with

Yugyeom: you wanna come over?

Jungkook: i dont wanna be around many people tbh yug

Yugyeom: the hyungs are all out

Yugyeom: we'll play some games maybe scream to songs and let loose

Yugyeom: theres alcohol!

Yugyeom: itll just be me you and bam

Jungkook: alright yeah sure

Jungkook: i could use a fun lowkey night

Yugyeom: yayyy :D

2022

EarlyBird: so you guys were alone, frustrated, and drunk

EarlyBird: did you not think what exactly might happen??

KookieMonster: its not like we were opposed to it man

KookieMonster: everyone here is hot

HitTheYug: exactly

HitTheYug: i wont lie and deny that i was thirsting

Thaibaby: altho looking back at our questionable fashion choices back then i wonder how

EiffelPuppy: LMAO FAIR

Lostboy: true we did have some questionable haircuts

Megaphone: oh dont remind me

Greekgod: guys

Greekgod: we're losing track of the story

Thaibaby: right right

Thaibaby: anyways

Thaibaby: yes we had some fun that night

Thaibaby: doesnt mean we werent stupid

EarlyBird: explain

2017

Private Chat: Yugyeom and Jungkook

Yugyeom: so....

Jungkook: um

Yugyeom: bams over my shoulder btw

Jungkook: oh uh hi bam

Yugyeom: listen kook we dont want anything to be awkward between us

Yugyeom: this comes from both bam and i

Yugyeom: what happened happened I guess

Yugyeom: we're still friends tho right?

Jungkook: yeah of course!

Jungkook: that doesnt change that!

Jungkook: i dont want things to be awkward either

Yugyeom: okay good!

Jungkook: lets just pretend nothing happened

Jungkook: altho it was pretty fun

Yugyeom: yeah

Yugyeom: managed to get rid of some frustration

Jungkook: yeah

Yugyeom: anyways bam and I insist on meeting up and making it up to you

Yugyeom: how does bowling sound?

Jungkook: okay yeah sounds great!

2022

EarlyBird: "bam and I insist on meeting up and making it up to you"

EarlyBird: and you didnt think

EarlyBird: it could happen again???

KookieMonster: listen

KookieMonster: we were young

EarlyBird: when I'm in a being dumb competition and my opponents are yugbamkook

Thaibaby: HEY

Thaibaby: THATS THE SECOND TIME I GET INSULTED LIKE THIS

EarlyBird: yeah well deserved

Greekgod: agreed

HitTheYug: ANYWAYS

HitTheYug: so we agreed it wouldnt happen it again

EarlyBird: but it did happen again

HitTheYug: yes obviously it did

Lostboy: and again

Megaphone: and again

EiffelPuppy: and again

KookieMonster: shut it you three we'll get to your arc in a minute

EarlyBird: oh boy

2017

Private Chat: Yugyeom and Jungkook

Jungkook: so

Jungkook: are we gonna pretend to ignore it again?

Yugyeom: I mean we could

Yugyeom: or

Jungkook: or...?

Yugyeom: bam suggests we make this a regular thing

Jungkook: i dont know

Yugyeom: no strings attached, not exclusive

Yugyeom: but we're obviously having fun and letting off some steam

Yugyeom: only if you say yes tho

Jungkook: i guess i cant deny that it is fun

Jungkook: plus i trust you guys

Jungkook: lets not tell anyone tho

Yugyeom: deal

2022

HitTheYug: and thats how we became officially fuck buddies

EarlyBird: okay..

EarlyBird: that was more tame than I expected

EarlyBird: also its so expected for you three to get involved with each other so I'm not surprised

EarlyBird: you're so fucking predictable

KookieMonster: thanks?

Thaibaby: little did we know tho

Thaibaby: something was happening on the other side

Megaphone: and thats where we come in

Lostboy: :D

2017

Jaehyun: do you guys wanna hang out today

Bambam: yug and I got heavy schedules :(

Yugyeom: :(

Jungkook: same here :/

DK: im down!

Mingyu: same here!

The8: oh um ill pass

The8: had a tiring practice today so ill just be resting

Jaehyun: ah okay

Jaehyun: raincheck though?

Jaehyun: @Yugyeom @Bambam @Jungkook @The8 you all owe me drinks

Jungkook: deal

Private Chat: Minghao and Seokmin

Seokmin: you wanna tell me why youre avoiding gyu like the plague these day?

Minghao: me?

Minghao: im not

Seokmin: cut the crap ming

Seokmin: i tried asking mingyu but he keeps avoiding the question and pretending to have urgent
things to do

Seokmin: and now everytime we dont have schedules you two avoid each other

Seokmin: and just now you saw that gyu was gonna hang out with jae and you decided to not go
when I know your day was pretty chill today

Minghao: is it that obvious?

Seokmin: maybe to others not but it sure is to me

Minghao: ill tell you but please dont tell anyone

Seokmin: ming

Seokmin: you can tell me anything okay?

Minghao: remember that night in busan last week when we were in the hotel

Seokmin: okay?

Minghao: gyu and i shared a room right

Seokmin: right

Minghao: we sort of

Minghao: made out

Minghao: pretty heavily

Seokmin: what the fuck?

Minghao: idk how it happened and now we dont know what to say to each other

Seokmin: fucking hell

Seokmin: okay

Seokmin: since we already promised jaehyun today

Seokmin: tomorrow

Seokmin: the three of us are sitting down and discussing this

Minghao: seok no

Seokmin: youre not getting out of this

Minghao: fine

2022

Megaphone: so the three of us talked

Megaphone: agreed to put it behind us

Megaphone: and finally those two idiots were back to normal

Lostboy: yup

EiffelPuppy: until seok got involved

EarlyBird: oh shit???
~

2017

Private Chat: Seokmin and Jaehyun

Jaehyun: hey I didn't want to bring this up while hanging out

Jaehyun: but was mingyu acting weird to you??

Seokmin: why would you say that?

Jaehyun: idk he seemed more jittery

Jaehyun: do you know something?

Jaehyun: I'm just worried about him

Seokmin: oh

Seokmin: yeah he and ming had an awkward situation

Seokmin: but we talked it out the next day and theyre fine now

Jaehyun: oh shit is it serious??

Seokmin: nah dw

Jaehyun: do I wanna know?

Seokmin: its a complicated story

Jaehyun: I got time

Seokmin: not over text

Seokmin: lets meet for drinks?

Jaehyun: done

Private Chat: Mingyu and Minghao

Mingyu: I'm taking you out tonight

Mingyu: sort of like an apology for last week

Minghao: gyu we're over it

Minghao: you dont have to

Mingyu: i want to!

Mingyu: please?
Minghao: ight

Minghao: sounds fun!

2022

EarlyBird: so let me get this straight

EarlyBird: gyu decided to go out with ming alone and get drinks

EarlyBird: have we learned nothing from this group?

EiffelPuppy: IN OUR DEFENSE

EiffelPuppy: we literally had no idea what was going on with yugbamkook

Lostboy: yeah like how were we supposed to know

EarlyBird: oh my god

EarlyBird: @Greekgod @Megaphone and what happened with you two?

Greekgod: well....

EarlyBird: you two fucked didn't you

Megaphone: listen somewhere along complaining about sexual tension and what not

Megaphone: I kinda admitted ive always found jae hot

Megaphone: which he knew!

Megaphone: but what I didnt know was that he found me cute as well

Greekgod: my god we sound like teenagers rn

Greekgod: lets just put it out there that there are absolutely no feelings involved

KookieMonster: yeah

KookieMonster: we were all somewhat inexperienced

KookieMonster: for example i was way more inexperienced than yug and bam since they had
each other

KookieMonster: but i trusted them and i wanted to have some fun without the fear of hooking up
with a stranger or a creep

KookieMonster: thats where these guys came in

Lostboy: exactly
Lostboy: i mean we were all thrusted into this industry at a young age and were kinda embarrassed
by our lack of experience

EarlyBird: that's actually kind of cute

EarlyBird: you relied on each other and trusted each other with something so intimate

Thaibaby: now you get it

EarlyBird: WHERE WAS MY TRUST

HitTheYug: BRO YOU BARELY EVEN EXISTED BACK THEN

EiffelPuppy: YOU WEREN'T EVEN IN THIS GROUP

EarlyBird: AND WHO'S FAULT IS THAT?

Greekgod: for the love of god

Greekgod: can we continue the story now?

EarlyBird: yes

2017

Private Chat: Seokmin and Jaehyun

Jaehyun: seok...

Jaehyun: last night did happen right

Jaehyun: I'm not imagining things

Seokmin: see once i got over the hangover i realized yes it did happen

Jaehyun: right

Jaehyun: we're not gonna make a big deal out of this are we?

Seokmin: should we?

Jaehyun: I don't think so

Seokmin: it was fun and if im honest I wouldnt mind doing it again

Jaehyun: me neither tbh

Jaehyun: let off some steam every now and then

Jaehyun: no strings attached tho

Seokmin: deal
~

2022

EarlyBird: if only the rest of you had their braincells

EarlyBird: instead you make a big deal out of everything

KookieMonster: oh hush youre not any better

2017

Private Chat: Mingyu and Minghao

Minghao: gyu

Minghao: I know that we fucked around again but I dont wanna go avoiding you

Mingyu: me neither

Mingyu: and tbh i enjoyed it

Mingyu: both times

Minghao: me too!!

Minghao: i just was scared because I dont think im ready yet for a relationship and idk if you want
one and we live together so...

Mingyu: oh god no

Mingyu: i just wanna have fun now

Mingyu: i thought thats what you wanted

Minghao: oh....

Minghao: yeah we're dumb

Mingyu: big time

Minghao: should we tell seok?

Mingyu: i guess?

Mingyu: i mean if there's one person that deserves to know its him right?

Minghao: right

Mingyu: tell you what

Mingyu: since friday's off for us we take him out thursday after work and explain our decision to
him
Minghao: gyu...

Minghao: so far everytime we've went out we ended up with our tongues down each other's
throats

Minghao: and now that we decided that we're okay with that what makes you think it won't happen
again?

Mingyu: he'll be with us!

Minghao: yeah I guess

2022

EarlyBird: now let me guess

EarlyBird: you three went out

EarlyBird: had a good time

EarlyBird: and then ended up in a threesome didn't you

Megaphone: yup

EarlyBird: YOU WHORE

Megaphone: it is what it is

Megaphone: besides Jaehyun and I said nothing was exclusive so

Megaphone: and by then I was already developing a crush on my members even if I and they didnt
know it yet

EiffelPuppy: AWWWW

Lostboy: WE LOVE YOU TOO BABE

Megaphone: please its a miracle you two got your shit together back then

HitTheYug: BURN BRO

EiffelPuppy: shut it.

Megaphone: anyways dongmin if you think im the whore of the group you havent seen jaehyun
yet

EarlyBird: what happened....?

Greekgod: are we really doing this

Megaphone: you see we all know jaehyun has a very competitive streak right?
EarlyBird: right

Megaphone: and sometimes (read: most of the times) this competitive streak manifests in sexual
tension

EarlyBird: okay....

Greekgod: I feel exposed

Thaibaby: hush its nothing we all dont know

Greekgod: fuck you

Megaphone: to continue

Megaphone: you know who else is horny and competitive and gets horny when hes competitive?

EarlyBird: kook?

EiffelPuppy: exactly

KookieMonster: seriously?

EarlyBird: again

EarlyBird: so fucking predictable

HitTheYug: I believe this is where their freaky telepathic shit started

EarlyBird: that could be plausible actually

2017

Private Chat: Jungkook and Jaehyun

Jaehyun: I feel like I haven't seen you in forever

Jaehyun: well yug and bam too but they're out of the country currently so

Jungkook: me too bro :(

Jungkook: everythings been so hectic and weird

Jaehyun: lets go bowling tomorrow

Jungkook: i cant tomorrow but i can after tomorrow!

Jaehyun: done

Jaehyun: prepare to lose idiot

Jungkook: over my dead body

~

2022

EarlyBird: the whore title has been passed to jaehyun

Greekgod: excuse me at that point kook had been fucking 3 people

EarlyBird: right

EarlyBird: jeon jungkook I raised you better than this

KookieMonster: come at me bro

EarlyBird: I WILL

EarlyBird: for someone who was a shy virgin you seriously be getting lots of action

HitTheYug: no seriously the moment we were out of town he found someone else

KookieMonster: oh well

EarlyBird: anyways to recap

EarlyBird: kook and jae got involved with each other

EarlyBird: kook was already involved with yugyeom and bambam

EarlyBird: jaehyun was already involved with seokmin

EarlyBird: and seokmin became involved with mingyu and minghao

EarlyBird: right?

Lostboy: yup

EarlyBird: so how'd everyone get involved?

Thaibaby: amazing what a little slip of a tongue can do

HitTheYug: a literal one

2017

Jaehyun: @Yugyeom @Bambam

Jaehyun: when are you two coming back

Jaehyun: I'm planning a group outing with ALL of us

Jaehyun: and no one's bailing

Yugyeom: early next week!

Jaehyun: done

Mingyu: sounds good

Jungkook: works!

The8: where are we going?

The8: bowling

Jungkook: nah jae and i went last week

DK: oh???

DK: without us you cowards

DK: the betrayal

Jaehyun: calm your ass down I just wanted to catch up with him considering I saw the rest before

Jaehyun: and besides I caught with you very well

DK: you did ;)

Mingyu: that doesn't sound suggestive at all

Jaehyun: haha

2022

EarlyBird: I would've suspected something right then and there

Thaibaby: lets face it

Thaibaby: no you wouldnt have

EarlyBird: slander

Lostboy: hes right so

EiffelPuppy: anyways we did end up going bowling the next week

Megaphone: and imagine my surprise when I walked into the bathroom to find kook and jae
making out

EarlyBird: oh????

Private Chat: Jaehyun and Seokmin

Seokmin: well that was surprising

Jaehyun: are you mad?

Jaehyun: we did say we weren't exclusive and it was for fun

Seokmin: mad?

Seokmin: tbh I was turned on

Jaehyun: uh what

Seokmin: yeah two of the most well-built guys in our group making out

Jaehyun: okay..

Seokmin: also I have a confession

Seokmin: im fucking around with mingyu and minghao too

Jaehyun: well

Jaehyun: I didn't see that coming

Seokmin: haha

Jaehyun: I think I'm gonna come clean on the group

Jaehyun: since we're more involved than we thought

Seokmin: yeah okay fair

97-Liners Groupchat

Jaehyun: um guys

Jaehyun: I have a confession to make and I hope it doesn't ruin our friendship

Yugyeom: ???

Jaehyun: seok and I have been fucking around

Jungkook: I knew something was up when he walked in on us yesterday

Bambam: wait what

Jaehyun: yeah kook and I hooked up too

Mingyu: wait

Mingyu: we hooked up with seokmin too

Jaehyun: we?

The8: gyu and I

Yugyeom: so let me get this straight

Yugyeom: jae hooked up with seok who was hooking up with gyu and ming

Yugyeom: jae also hooked up with kook who is hooking up with bam and I

Jaehyun: wait what????

Jungkook: aha

Jungkook: seems like we're more involved with each other

DK: holy shit

DK: okay I didnt see that one coming

DK: okay wow

Bambam: this just got much more complicated

The8: no shit

Mingyu: now what....?

Jaehyun: okay I'm just gonna throw it out there

Jaehyun: we either pretend this conversation didn't exist

Bambam: or?

Jaehyun: or we could all hook up

DK: wait seriously???

Jaehyun: why not?

Jaehyun: we're all close

Jaehyun: you're all hot

Jaehyun: and there's no feelings involved

Jungkook: I actually wouldnt mind

Yugyeom: honestly?

Yugyeom: me neither

Yugyeom: only if everyones okay with it tho

Yugyeom: bam?

Bambam: im good with it

DK: im down

DK: mingyu? Minghao?

Mingyu: I don't want things to be awkward between us

Bambam: we'll set up boundaries

Jaehyun: yeah and if anyone immediately feels uncomfortable then its all off

Jaehyun: right guys?

Bambam: yup

Jungkook: yup

Yugyeom: agreed

DK: yup

Mingyu: okay I'm in

DK: ming?

The8: you kidding?

The8: definitely

2022

Greekgod: and that's the story

EarlyBird: damn

EarlyBird: that's all I can say

EarlyBird: damn

KookieMonster: yup

EarlyBird: wow okay

EarlyBird: it's nice to know that after being dumb you all made it

EiffelPuppy: oh be quiet

EiffelPuppy: i can guarantee that if you were in this position you would've been even dumber

EarlyBird: pft no I wouldn't have

Thaibaby: oh you definitely would have

EarlyBird: ANYWAYS
 EarlyBird: WHERE WAS I

Lostboy: THIS AGAIN?

EarlyBird: YEAH THIS AGAIN

HitTheYug: FOR FUCKS SAKE EUNWOO

Chapter End Notes

Man for a second I forgot how to write drama for a while.

 Of Dinners and Investigations
Chapter Summary

In which, an investigation is launched.

Chapter Notes

KookieMonster: Jungkook
EarlyBird: Eunwoo
Greekgod: Jaehyun
Lostboy: The8
Megaphone: DK
EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom

OHHHH BOY WE HAVE A TRAINWRECK OF A CHAPTER HERE

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Private Chat: Changbin and Yeonjun

Changbin: Im still holding you on that promise

Yeonjun: haha what promise

Changbin: yeonjun....

Yeonjun: ugh I hate you sometimes

Changbin: you love me hush

Changbin: anyways whats the situation?

Yeonjun: so basically I like my members right?

Changbin: right

Yeonjun: and like recently I think there's been this weird tension between the four of us that we
don't know how to approach

Changbin: wait

Changbin: four???
Yeonjun: yeah soobin's straight

Changbin: soobins straight???

Yeonjun: yeah??

Changbin: the same soobin whos whipped for all of you??

Yeonjun: don't be dumb

Yeonjun: anyways now idk what to do

Changbin: so let me get this straight

Yeonjun: haha straight

Changbin: i swear to god yeonjun

Changbin: you and three others have this weird tension going on and theres a token straight friend

Yeonjun: yes

Changbin: okay

Changbin: hold on a second?

Private Chat: Changbin and Chan

Changbin: hyung

Changbin: who was it that you asked for sex advice when we had that drought

Chan: must you phrase it that way

Changbin: yes

Chan: good god

Chan: but anyways it was the 97 liners

Changbin: knew it

Private Chat: Yeonjun and Changbin

Changbin: im back

Yeonjun: where'd you go?

Changbin: anyways why are you asking me??

Yeonjun: who should I ask??

Changbin: jungkook hyung???

Yeonjun: why would I ask him???

Changbin: WDYM WHY would I ASK HIM

Changbin: maybe because he and the rest are collectively responsible for half the things that
happened in the kpop world?

Yeonjun: yeah but i mean like they troll dispatch not help with love

Changbin: they got astro together, blackpink together, and helped my group when we had some
distance issues

Yeonjun: right

Yeonjun: i think imma do that then

Changbin: you think???

Private Chat: Yeonjun and Jungkook

Yeonjun: hyung

Jungkook: yes love

Yeonjun: i was told to come to you for relationship advice?

Jungkook: oh boy

97-Liners Groupchat

KookieMonster: ight im not screaming this time

KookieMonster: 97 liners gather up

Lostboy: that is the deadest gather up i have ever seen on this group

KookieMonster: general jay?

Greekgod: sigh im here

KookieMonster: devil twins are needed

Thaibaby: yeah we're here

HitTheYug: ^

KookieMonster: advisor eunwoo

EarlyBird: physically present

EarlyBird: mentally tired

KookieMonster: @Megaphone @EiffelPuppy

Megaphone: do we seriously have to announce everyone

EiffelPuppy: just explain the situation bro

KookieMonster: we'll find out together

KookieMonster: he just asked for relationship advice and I came here

[KookieMonster added Yeonjun to the group]

Greekgod: state your name, age, occupation, and reason for your visit.

Yeonjun: um hi hyungs?

Megaphone: do what he said.

Yeonjun: right

Yeonjun: yeonjun, 22, idol, i need love advice

EiffelPuppy: okay lay it on us

EiffelPuppy: don't spare any details if you want this to be a complete success

Yeonjun: okay so I like my members

Yeonjun: and recently there's been this weird tension between the four of us that we don't know
what to do about or how to approach

HitTheYug: wait

HitTheYug: four?

HitTheYug: arent you five?

Yeonjun: yeah but soobin's straight

Megaphone: im sorry what now

Yeonjun: yeah its a bummer bc I have a big crush on him too but I can't do anything about it

Thaibaby: uh huh....

EarlyBird: right....

Yeonjun: so any help on how to approach the others?

Private Chat: Bambam and Jungkook

Bambam: this isnt sitting right with us

Bambam: yugs over my shoulder btw

Jungkook: me neither???

Jungkook: all the times we've met txt all I see is how whipped soobin is for his members

Bambam: literally??

Bambam: jeju was so obvious??

Jungkook: literally

Jungkook: hey you two are the social butterflies of the kpop world

Bambam: right

Jungkook: start an investigation over whether soobin is gay or not while the rest of us distract
yeonjun

Jungkook: ill tell the others privately about this

Bambam: you got it

97-Liners Groupchat

Lostboy: not gonna lie yeonjun we're a bit surprised youre asking us for help

Yeonjun: why

Lostboy: well youre one of the most extroverted people we've ever met

Lostboy: in fact most of your group is

Yeonjun: hyung we're extroverts not psychos

Yeonjun: I can't just walk up to them and say i like you??

Yeonjun: what if they don't like me back??

EarlyBird: ah young love

EarlyBird: I don't miss those days

Greekgod: you had a harem for a while

Greekgod: so shut up

EarlyBird: YEAH AFTER A WHOLE LOAD OF DRAMA AND CRYING

Yeonjun: omg hyung seriously?

~

Private Chat: Bambam and Chan

Bambam: chan-ah

Bambam: youre friends with like many 4th gen leaders right

Chan: uh right?

Bambam: is soobin straight,

Chan: is this about yeonjun's relationship advice?

Bambam: yes and its crucial information

Chan: i have no idea

Chan: I'll ask felix for you since they're liner friends

Bambam: thanks

97-Liners Groupchat

EiffelPuppy: anyways

Yeonjun: wait no hyung I wanna know!

EarlyBird: its too long and too much of a mess

EarlyBird: maybe someday

Yeonjun: I'm holding you on to that

Private Chat: Chan and Felix

Chan: felix

Chan: is soobin straight

Felix: uhhh

Felix: i have no idea

Chan: dammit

Felix: but I know someone who might

97-Liners Groupchat
KookieMonster: ANYWAYS

KookieMonster: lets get back on track?

Yeonjun: right

Yeonjun: so what do I do

Greekgod: how confident are you that your members like you back?

Yeonjun: I'm not sure

Yeonjun: I keep having hope that something might be there bc of certain actions but then we
always pretend nothing happened

Lostboy: denial phase

Lostboy: really?

Yeonjun: I'm guessing it's common?

Megaphone: hella

Private Chat: Felix and Wooyoung

Felix: hey wooyoung!

Felix: got your number off of changbin

Wooyoung: hey!

Wooyoung: what's up?

Felix: weird question but

Felix: is soobin straight

Wooyoung: I literally have no idea

Felix: I need to know

Wooyoung: is this about yeonjuns massive crush on his members?

Felix: idk maybe?

Felix: chan hyung needs an answer so I said ill ask

Wooyoung: I might know someone who knows

Felix: deal

~
97-Liners Groupchat

EarlyBird: okay yeonjun-ah

EarlyBird: if there's one thing I learned from my experience is that you have to see if you're
getting a positive response back

Yeonjun: okay

EarlyBird: and to do that you have to initiate some "instances"

Yeonjun: okay

KookieMonster: look at you giving the relationship advice now!

EarlyBird: kindly shut up

Private Chat: Wooyoung and Heeseung

Wooyoung: eyy heeseung-ah

Heeseung: hey hyung

Heeseung: what's up?

Wooyoung: important question

Wooyoung: part of an investigation

Heeseung: ooookay what is it

Wooyoung: is soobin straight

Heeseung: uh

Heeseung: no clue

Heeseung: he was too shy as trainees to discuss any of this

Wooyoung: dammit

Heeseung: but I can ask someone for you?

Wooyoung: you da best!

97-Liners Groupchat

Yeonjun: instances like what

Greekgod: we're thinking one sec

Greekgod: we've literally never seen this many crazy extroverts in one group

Megaphone: I would suggest get them drunk but lord knows what would happen then

EiffelPuppy: i feel like someone will end up in the hospital

Yeonjun: yeah uh I wouldn't suggest it either

Lostboy: okay yeonjun I think the fastest way to do this is to gather everyone in one room and get
your slut on

Lostboy: if you get positive reactions we move on

Yeonjun: so like a sexy dance or something?

KookieMonster: bingo

Greekgod: maybe also "accidently" almost kiss someone

Yeonjun: okay yeah

Yeonjun: I can do that

EiffelPuppy: atta boy

EiffelPuppy: you report back immediately what you learn

Yeonjun: yes sir

Private Chat: Heeseung and Wonyoung

Heeseung: hey wonyoung-ssi!

Heeseung: i got your number from sunghoon

Wonyoung: hi!!

Wonyoung: whats up?

Heeseung: so you and sunghoon practically know most of the kpop industry right

Wonyoung: right

Heeseung: do you know if soobin is straight

Wonyoung: why would I know that

Heeseung: i figured you wouldn't but might know someone who does

Wonyoung: i got it

~
97-Liners Groupchat

Yeonjun: oh my fucking god besties

Greekgod: jesus fucking christ the gen z in you

Yeonjun: no seriously

Yeonjun: I did what you told me

Yeonjun: GUYS BEOMGYU ALMOST KISSED ME BACK RIGHT THEN AND THERE

EarlyBird: whipped I tell you

Yeonjun: ok but now he's lowkey avoiding me

EiffelPuppy: ah yes another classic

Private Chat: Wonyoung and Chaeryoung

Wonyoung: hi unnie!

Chaeryoung: hey wonyoung-ah!

Chaeryoung: its been a while!

Chaeryoung: whats up?

Wonyoung: i got your number from chaeyeon unnie and im here on an investigation

Chaeryoung: oh??

Wonyoung: is soobin-ssi straight??

Chaeryoung: literally no clue

Chaeryoung: ill ask yeji unnie for you

97-Liners Groupchat

Greekgod: @Yeonjun I say invite them to dinner

EiffelPuppy: oo yes I like

Greekgod: and lay it all out

Greekgod: but don't make it boring

Yeonjun: but if we're avoiding each other how am i supposed to invite them

Megaphone: email.
Lostboy: oo we should design a card!

EarlyBird: yes I see the potential in this

KookieMonster: yeah maybe like a cursive font and some fancy language that makes us all laugh
to get their guards down

EiffelPuppy: HAHAHAH I LOVE IT

Yeonjun: oh my god

Yeonjun: wait you're serious?

Lostboy: yeah kook and I will design the card dont worry about it

KookieMonster: you got it!

Private Chat: Jungkook and Yugyeom

Jungkook: WHERES THE INVESTIGATION AT

Yugyeom: KEEP STALLING

Jungkook: WHAT DO YOU THINK WE'RE DOING

Yugyeom: KEEP.

Yugyeom: STALLING.

Private Chat: Yeji and Nayeon

Yeji: unnie!!

Nayeon: hey!!

Yeji: question

Nayeon: yes tell me

Yeji: since you're friends with half the kpop industry

Yeji: do you know if soobin is straight

Nayeon: uh

Nayeon: no??

Yeji: but you know someone who might?

Nayeon: well
Nayeon: irene unnie usually knows everything so I'll just ask her

Yeji: thanks!

97-Liners Groupchat

EarlyBird: yeonjun-ah can you cook?

Yeonjun: um no

Yeonjun: like basics only

Greekgod: yeah no

Greekgod: okay we'll order some fancy food for you

Greekgod: meanwhile we have to discuss the set up

Megaphone: candles are a must

Megaphone: what screams romantic more than candles?

Yeonjun: okay fair

EiffelPuppy: lots of flowers

EiffelPuppy: preferably each members favorite flower

EiffelPuppy: each one could get a small bouquet on their plate and the rest of the dorm will be
scattered with red petals

Yeonjun: my paycheck's gonna take a big hit isn't it

KookieMonster: haha

KookieMonster: big hit

Yeonjun: oh my god hyung no

Private Chat: Nayeon and Irene

Nayeon: unnie!!

Nayeon: I know you know almost everything that happens in the kpop world

Nayeon: think you can help?

Irene: I'll try my best

Nayeon: is soobin-ssi straight

Irene: I

Irene: actually am not sure

Nayeon: oh my god unnie

Irene: I'm sorry?

Nayeon: now what

Irene: let me ask donghae from suju actually

97-Liners Groupchat

Lostboy: what if

Lostboy: you got steaks in the shape of hearts

Yeonjun: oh my fucking god

EiffelPuppy: great idea babe I support

KookieMonster: balloons!!

EarlyBird: yes a must

Yeonjun: aren't we going overboard with this?

Megaphone: we're trying to match the crackhead energy

Yeonjun: honestly?

Yeonjun: fair

Greekgod: have you started writing your big speech?

Yeonjun: my what now

Greekgod: yeonjun-ah.....

Yeonjun: I'm new at this!

Private Chat: Irene and Donghae

Irene: oppa

Irene: since you and eunhyuk oppa almost adopted soobin-ssi in front of the whole world

Irene: I have a question

Donghae: uh... yes?

Irene: is soobin-ssi straight?

Donghae: I dont know?

Irene: do you know someone who might?

Donghae: uh yes ma'am ill go ask

Irene: good

97-Liners Groupchat

EiffelPuppy: okay newbie

EarlyBird: haha someone else's the newbie now

Greekgod: shut up newbie

KookieMonster: shut up newbie

Yeonjun: your telepathy creeped me out the first time, still creeped me out this time

Yeonjun: seriously how do you two manage to send the same message at the exact same time

Lostboy: please dont ask

Lostboy: we still dont know

EiffelPuppy: ANYWAYS

EiffelPuppy: your speech

Private Chat: Jungkook and Yugyeom

Jungkook: We're still waiting???

Yugyeom: SHUT UP

Yugyeom: SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Jungkook: BRUH WHAT THE FUCK

Yugyeom: WE'RE DOING GODS WORK HERE SO FUCKING WAIT

Jungkook: oh my god

Jungkook: I dont know if we asked the right people or the wrong people to do this

Yugyeom: jungkook.

Yugyeom: choke.
~

Private Chat: Donghae and Heechul

Donghae: heech

Heechul: what

Donghae: ask jessi if soobin is straight

Heechul: im sorry what

Donghae: heech irene is demanding an answer from me HURRY UP

Heechul: OKAY YEAH START WITH THAT NEXT TIME

97-Liners Groupchat

EiffelPuppy: your speech has to be funny but sincere

EiffelPuppy: passionate but chill

EiffelPuppy: sweet but direct

Yeonjun: hyung this makes absolutely no fucking sense

Greekgod: shut the fuck up and write that down.

Yeonjun: uh yes sir

Yeonjun: sorry sir

KookieMonster: let me put this in a language you understand

KookieMonster: set up the dinner

KookieMonster: vibe check them

KookieMonster: if the vibes are immaculate get that bread

KookieMonster: if not yeet yourself

Yeonjun: slay

EarlyBird: jungkook never use gen z slang ever again.

KookieMonster: eunwoo youre literally a march baby and thats SO old like get with the times??

KookieMonster: im practically part of gen z

Yeonjun: purr.

EarlyBird: jungkook shut the fuck up.

~

Private Chat: Heechul and Jessi

Heechul: jessi

Jessi: sup oppa

Heechul: i need an answer

Jessi: ??

Heechul: is soobin straight

Jessi: what the fuck

Heechul: jessi its part of an investigation!!

Heechul: youre close to him no??

Jessi: yeah hes like my baby brother but i dont know!!

Jessi: wait

Jessi: i think I know who knows

Heechul: oh??

97-Liners Groupchat

Lostboy: WAIT

Lostboy: WE DIDNT DISCUSS OUTFITS

Yeonjun: isn't bambam hyung also the fashion expert?

Yeonjun: wait where is he anyways

Lostboy: okay first of all fashion is my plaything

Megaphone: babe did you really just call fashion your "plaything"?

EiffelPuppy: ew

Lostboy: thanks for judging me

Lostboy: see how they always judge me yeonjun-ah?

Yeonjun: truly hyung

Lostboy: anyways what are the options

Yeonjun: should I go for a suit?

Yeonjun: since its a fancy dinner

EarlyBird: what the fuck?

EarlyBird: no

EarlyBird: you're confessing your undying love not proposing

Yeonjun: right

Lostboy: keep it smart casual

Lostboy: but not smart like youre going to a business meeting

Yeonjun: right right

Private Chat: Jessi and Arin

Jessi: arin-ah!!

Arin: unnie!!

Arin: hi!!

Jessi: how you been sweetheart??

Arin: I'm good

Arin: how can I help?

Jessi: this is part of a huge investigation apparently

Jessi: arin do you by any chance know if soobin is straight?

Arin: soobin?

Arin: the same soobin that makes heart eyes at his members constantly and sighs like a love sick
puppy?

Arin: that soobin?

Jessi: so youre saying...

Arin: unnie he's the furthest thing from straight trust me

Arin: I thought he had a crush on yeonjun oppa only in the beginning if I'm honest

Arin: but then he confessed to me it's all of his members not just yeonjun

Jessi: arin you beautiful genius

~
97-Liners Groupchat

Thaibaby: WE GOT IT

Yeonjun: oh hey!

Yeonjun: got what?

Megaphone: nothing just a stupid trophy in a video game

Yeonjun: omg king

Yeonjun: what game

Megaphone: you know what to do now right?

Yeonjun: uh yes?

HitTheYug: good good now scram

Yeonjun: where did you come from??

Yeonjun: wait where were you two anyways

HitTheYug: go prep for your dinner bye!

[HitTheYug kicked Yeonjun out of the group]

Greekgod: YOU TWO ALMOST BLEW THE ENTIRE THING

Thaibaby: [image]

Thaibaby: PROOF BITCHES

Thaibaby: SOOBIN LIKES THEM BACK

KookieMonster: I FUCKING KNEW ITTTT

EiffelPuppy: wait how'd jessi-ssi get into this

HitTheYug: it was a long complicated process.

EarlyBird: alright let's bring him in here and corner him

KookieMonster: on it

[KookieMonster added Soobin to the group]

Soobin: um

Soobin: hello?

Greekgod: soobin what the fuck is this about you being straight?
Soobin: uh what

EiffelPuppy: your members think you're straight and don't like them

EiffelPuppy: what the fuck??

Soobin: they told you that?

Megaphone: yeah??

Soobin: shit

HitTheYug: now explain because literally no one in this entire investigation knew man

Soobin: what investigation

Greekgod: focus soobin

KookieMonster: focus soobin

Soobin: okay uh

Soobin: I'm an introvert

Soobin: and my group obviously isn't

Soobin: so I'm not as expressive as them I guess?

Soobin: and I get shy

EarlyBird: that's it?

Soobin: yeah

Lostboy: oh my god

Private Chat: Yeonjun and Wooyoung

Wooyoung: eyyy

Yeonjun: eyyy?

Wooyoung: congrats bro!

Yeonjun: on what...?

Wooyoung: soobin not being straight!

Wooyoung: you better move fast tho because I know lots of people that would snatch him right up

Wooyoung: both guys and girls

Yeonjun: what????????
Yeonjun: how the fuck do you know??

Wooyoung: you dont know?

Wooyoung: an investigation was launched that included half the kpop industry to find out this
information

Wooyoung: eventually arin-ssi was the one who knew

Yeonjun: what the fuck??

Wooyoung: yeah I found out through felix

Yeonjun: I'm guessing bambam and yugyeom hyungs started it?

Wooyoung: yeah!

Wooyoung: they asked bang chan hyung who asked felix who asked me!

Yeonjun: so half the kpop industry knows about soobin now

Wooyoung: yeah and the other half found out anyways

Yeonjun: uh huh

Yeonjun: I have a bone to pick with certain people.

97-Liners Groupchat

Soobin: hyungs what do I do??

Soobin: I really like them

Greekgod: nothing

Greekgod: hyungs will take care of it

Greekgod: now go continue your day as if none of this happened

Greekgod: understand?

Soobin: yes sir

[Greekgod kicked Soobin out of the group]

KookieMonster: hold on yeonjun wants to be added back

HitTheYug: ?

[KookieMonster added Yeonjun to the group]

Yeonjun: I say this respectfully

Yeonjun: YOU FUCKERS

Yeonjun: YOU STARTED AN ENTIRE INVESTIGATION??

Thaibaby: obviously

Thaibaby: what else were we supposed to do?

Yeonjun: THE ENTIRE KPOP INDUSTRY NOW KNOWS ABOUT US

Megaphone: yeah and its crucial that tonights plan works because of that

Yeonjun: fuck

Yeonjun: I'm so fucking screwed

KookieMonster: shut up youre not

KookieMonster: im coming over to help

EiffelPuppy: yeah us too so wait up

Yeonjun: okay

Evening

Yeonjun: hello hello

Yeonjun: I have an announcement to make

Lostboy: that sounds like a smug announcement

Yeonjun: you'll be pleased to know that tonight worked and me and my three other boyfriends are
very possessive of OUR boyfriend soobin

Yeonjun: the kpop industry can back off.

Thaibaby: hey man whatcha threatening us for

Greekgod: seriously we're innocent here

Yeonjun: seventeen isn't.

EiffelPuppy: nah he's right we're whipped for him

Megaphone: nonetheless happy for you!!

Yeonjun: thanks hyungs for all your help :D

EarlyBird: @KookieMonster stop letting jimin hang out with them

HitTheYug: agreed
KookieMonster: yeah yeah glad it worked out for you yeonjunnie

KookieMonster: now scram

Yeonjun: bye hyungs!

Yeonjun: see you in the next big thing!

Greekgod: what big thing?

Yeonjun: oh nothing

Yeonjun: bye!

KookieMonster: GET BACK IN HERE AND TELL US

[Yeonjun left the group]

HitTheYug: so um what the fuck?

Private Chat: Jungkook and Soobin

Soobin: so I found out about the investigation

Jungkook: Aha

Jungkook: I blame yug and bam

Soobin: hyung I know you all orchestrated the entire thing

Jungkook: right

Soobin: I just wanna know how did it go

Jungkook: ahh okay

Jungkook: So bam asked chan who asked felix who asked wooyoung

Soobin: okay...

Jungkook: wooyoung asked heeseung who asked wonyoung who asked chaeryoung

Soobin: what the fuck

Jungkook: chaeryoung asked yeji who asked nayeon noona who asked irene noona

Soobin: THERE'S MORE?!

Jungkook: noona asked donghae hyung who asked heechul hyung who asked jessi noona who
finally asked arin-ssi

Soobin: what the fuck

 Jungkook: indeed

Chapter End Notes

GUYS

100K READS?? WHAT THE FUCK???

Seriously though, holy shit. This trainwreck of a book has this many reads?? Thank
you much??

So many of you decided to click on this book and give it a read, and looking back at
my earlier chapters I can't imagine why HAHA

Many of you stuck by for months and years despite my sudden absences.

Thank you so much. Seriously. I don't know what to say honestly. To my new readers,
I'm so happy you guys still find this book interesting enough to click on.

Anyways, this chapter was inspired by MCs Akong and the industry's thirst for that
precious boy lmaoo

Also, one more question: those who get notifcations for this book, I wanna know
what's your reaction to the titles when you first see them HAHAH
 Of Wars and Revenge
Chapter Summary

Ladies and Gents:

Welcome to the fourth edition of the prank wars.

Chapter Notes

EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Lostboy: The8
Megaphone: DK
EarlyBird: Eunwoo
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
Thaibaby: Bambam
Greekgod: Jaehyun
KookieMonster: Jungkook

AHEM

Y'all ready for the start of another trainwreck?

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Two weeks earlier:

Private Chat: Suho and Irene

Suho: joohyun

Irene: junmyeon

Irene: what is it this time?

Suho: as serious as ever

Irene: spit it out junmyeon

Suho: I'm rallying a team to against certain groups in a prank war

Irene: oh?

Irene: and how does that involve me?

Suho: because the groups happened to be GOT7, NCT, BTS, SEVENTEEN, and ASTRO

Suho: who I should probably mention went against each other in a prank war and haven't invited
us

Irene: I see.

Irene: Why are you doing this though?

Suho: ah I can never hide anything from you can I?

Suho: very well

Suho: [image]

Suho: [image]

Irene: so they 'kidnapped' sehun and bought your silence for his freedom

Suho: essentially

Irene: I won't be helping you because of that

Irene: I'll be helping because frankly we're a bit insulted the girls and I weren't included after the
last jeju island trip?

Suho: you went to jeju with them?????

Irene: of course

Suho: okay that's a discussion for a later time

Suho: you rally the girls, I'll rally the guys

Irene: Understood

One week earlier:

Prank War Groupchat

[Suho added Irene]

[Suho added Jaemin]

[Suho added Yeonjun]

[Suho added Nayeon]

[Suho added IU]

[Suho added Chan]

[Suho added Jennie]

Suho: you might be wondering why you're all here

IU: 97-liners and their respective groups went into a prank war without inviting us even though we
all thought we bonded closely after jeju

Suho: uh

Suho: yes

Suho: wait so everyone here has been to jeju??

Nayeon: yup

Jennie: yep

Jaemin: yeah hyung!

Chan: yes sir!

Yeonjun: yeahhh

IU: yes

Suho: the fucking betrayal???

IU: L

Suho: harsh sunbaenim.

IU: since we're all partners here I say we forget the titles

Jaemin: yes noona!

IU: there we go

Suho: alright then thank you everyone for accepting our invite

Jennie: meh we have nothing to do most of the time so the pleasure's ours trust me

Suho: anyways ideas for the first prank?

Yeonjun: I love how this implies there's gonna be more than one and we are SO in

Chan: how about we send them glitter bombs?

Suho: channie sweetheart

Suho: do you know what kind of pranks they were up to in their last war?

Chan: no....?

IU: let's see:

IU: they flooded GOT7's dorm with glitter through their airvents

IU: they flooded seventeen's dorm with fake blood

IU: they flooded ASTRO's dorms with soap and bubbles

Chan: what the fuck

IU: any more stupid ideas?

Nayeon: unnies out for blood

Irene: alright

Irene: I have a family friend who owns a toy store

Irene: and with little convincing I can let him give us thousands of ballpit plastic balls

Jennie: unnie...

Jennie: I love you

Jaemin: so youre saying

Irene: we're flooding their dorms with plastic balls.

IU: finally someone's thinking straight

GOT7 Groupchat

Jackson: HELP

Jackson: IM DROWNING IN BALLS

Bambam: hyung we're constantly drowning in balls ;)

Jackson: NO SERIOUSLY

Jackson: THEY KEEP MULTIPLYING

Yugyeom: isnt that the dream huh

Jinyoung: jackson are you drunk

Mark: nah he was probably dreaming

Jackson: GUYS

Jackson: [image]

Jackson: IM SERIOUS HELP

Jaebum: WHAT THE FUCK??

Jackson: MARK HYUNGS IN THERE SOMEWHERE I CANT FIND HIM ANYMORE

Yugyeom: NOT THE TINY ONE

Jackson: I screamed what you said and mark screamed back "ILL WHIP YOUR ASS" from
somewhere

Jinyoung: this screams your liner friends @Bambam @Yugyeom

Bambam: WE SWEAR WE DIDNT AGREE ON THIS

Yugyeom: we'll go yell at them

97-Liners Groupchat

HitTheYug: WHAT THE FUCK YOU GUYS

HitTheYug: WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU EVEN FIND THIS MANY BALLS

Megaphone: NO WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU??

Megaphone: WE CANT EVEN GO IN

Thaibaby: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH US

Thaibaby: @Greekgod @EarlyBird @KookieMonster GET OVER HERE AND OWN UP

YOUR SHIT

KookieMonster: YOU BASTARDS I THOUGHT WE PAUSED THE PRANK WAR

Lostboy: WE DID

Lostboy: SO WHY ARE WE BEING PRANKED??

HitTheYug: WE STILL CANT FIND MARK

KookieMonster: ITS THEM @EarlyBird @Jaehyun

EarlyBird: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT

EarlyBird: IM BUSY DROWNING IN THE PRANK YOU PULLED

EiffelPuppy: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE PULLED

Greekgod: GUYS

Greekgod: doesn't anyone find it suspicious that we've all been pranked at the same time???

KookieMonster: the fuck you mean all

Greekgod: [image]
Greekgod: I mean ALL

Lostboy: holy shit...

Thaibaby: you know as a child this wouldve been my dream

KookieMonster: dude I cant find jimin hyung

HitTheYug: its always the tiny ones

Lostboy: marks gonna whoop your ass if he heard you

HitTheYug: meh he already declared it

EarlyBird: so wait let me get this straight

EarlyBird: none of us did this

EiffelPuppy: no sir

Thaibaby: nope

KookieMonster: not us thats for sure

EarlyBird: right...

EarlyBird: then who the fuck did????

Greekgod: gentlemen

Greekgod: let's deal with our messes first and then brainstorm

Megaphone: this is gonna take an eternity

EiffelPuppy: WE FOUND A NOTE TAPED TO THE LIVING ROOM TABLE

EiffelPuppy: [image]

EiffelPuppy: GO LOOK THERE

KookieMonster: ON IT

HitTheYug: [video]

Greekgod: bambam diving into the balls to find the letter is simultaneously funny and sad

EarlyBird: dude the balls messed up our wifi connection to load the pics and we can't find the
letter

EarlyBird: NEVERMIND FOUND IT

EarlyBird: what the fuck.....?

 Lostboy: uh....

Lostboy: you think this is because we borrowed sehun hyung during our war?

Greekgod: kidnapped you mean

KookieMonster: you think?!

HitTheYug: Im confused tho

HitTheYug: what do the other groups have to do with this??

EiffelPuppy: y'all think the leaders know?

"Hope you liked our surprise. This is what you get for excluding us. Consider this a warm-up for
what is yet to come. Enjoy! - EXO, Red Velvet, IU, TXT, StrayKids, BLACKPINK, NCT Dream,
and TWICE."

Chapter End Notes

Y'all in for a wild ride trust me

Also holy shit you guys??

The response on the last chapter was enormous???? I'm glad you all loved it!!

You guys are the best ❤

 Of Wars and Revenge Pt. 2
Chapter Summary

Of Wars and Revenge Pt.2

Or,

The return of everyone's favorite news outlet!

Chapter Notes

EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Megaphone: DK
Lostboy: The8
KookieMonster: Jungkook
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
Greekgod: Jaehyun
EarlyBird: Eunwoo

Man I don't even know where I'm going with this prank war

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Leaders Groupchat

Seungcheol: right so this is what suho hyung meant by "we're letting this go for now"

Taeyong: what the fuck

Taeyong: what the actual fuck

JinJin: hyungs we literally dont have time for thissss

JB: yeah okay we can either whine about it or retaliate

Namjoon: I didn't think he'll actually gather a fucking army for this

Taeyong: he's out for blood bro

Seungcheol: no kidding

JB: guess we need to explain this to our members huh

JinJin: yeah theyre already demanding answers

Namjoon: technically speaking this is all the 97 liners fault and their popularity

Seungcheol: hyung

Seungcheol: thats low

Namjoon: yeah I figured

JB: and besides we collectively kidnapped sehun

JinJin: it had to be done.

Taeyong: agreed

Seungcheol: jfc I still cant believe we actually did that

Namjoon: so now what

JB: personally I'm not letting this slide

JB: you can either join me or go rot in hell

Taeyong: calm down hyung we in this

JinJin: seriously whatcha yelling at us for

Namjoon: also I think we should hurry up and brainstorm because jungkook and jimin are having
to physically restrain jin hyung from storming into the hybe building and hanging txt by their feet

Seungcheol: yeah uh the kcia isnt happy

Taeyong: you're telling me?

JB: okay first what are we gonna do with the balls

Seungcheol: i have an idea

Dispatch: BREAKING NEWS

A generous donation?

This morning, daycares and playgrounds all over Seoul received a generous donation of plastic
balls for all ballpits!

Thousands of these plastic balls, all seeming in pristine condition, have been distributed
anonymously however upon closer investigation we have managed to find out that this large
donation was made by K-Pop groups BTS, GOT7, NCT, SEVENTEEN, and ASTRO!

What a generous yet odd donation!

Nonetheless, kids all over Seoul are happy and excited with their shiny new ballpits!
Stay tuned!

97-Liners Groupchat

EiffelPuppy: listen up

EiffelPuppy: we have an idea on how to retaliate

Lostboy: thought we'd take your opinion first before consulting the KCIA and leaders

Greekgod: okay hit us because three of us are trying to detain doyoung hyung and its barely
working

KookieMonster: please jimin hyung and I cant keep holding jin hyung

Megaphone: @Thaibaby @HitTheYug

Megaphone: does jackson hyung still have connections to the chicken guy

Thaibaby: yah

Megaphone: does he have cows

HitTheYug: not sure but he probably knows a cow guy

Thaibaby: yah

EiffelPuppy: how do we feel about placing cows in each of their dance practice rooms

Greekgod: i love it

EiffelPuppy: @Thaibaby @HitTheYug you still have access to the jyp building right

Thaibaby: yah

HitTheYug: yup we never gave back our access passes

Lostboy: is bambam broken

HitTheYug: he hit his head while diving in the balls

Thaibaby: yah

KookieMonster: oh shit is he okay?

KookieMonster: fuckfuckfuck JIN HYUNG TWISTED MY ARM

HitTheYug: hes fine id be more concerned about your arm

Greekgod: man doyoung hyung packs a punch

Greekgod: I think I'm gonna throw up

EarlyBird: yeah okay let's hurry?

EiffelPuppy: okay devil twins tell jackson hyung we need 8 cows

Thaibaby: 8 ducks got it

EarlyBird: bambam no.

HitTheYug: I got it

EarlyBird: thank god

Prank War Groupchat

Nayeon: theres a cow.

Nayeon: eating grass.

Nayeon: in our practice room.

Jennie: same.

Chan: how the actual fuck did they get this in here.

Suho: THE COW FUCKING POOPED

IU: jesus fucking christ the SMELL

Yeonjun: yeah okay how are we supposed to get rid of this cow without management finding
out???

Jennie: uh ours kinda found out

Irene: shit

Jennie: we bought his silence though

Irene: good idea

Jaemin: guess we're all gonna do that?

Suho: yup

Chan: guys what the fuck are we gonna do with the cows?

IU: I got it

Dispatch: BREAKING NEWS

K-Pop saves farm?

A farmer on the outskirts of Daegu (who has chosen to remain anonymous) reveals that his farm
was saved from the brink of bankruptcy by the timely donation of eight healthy cows!

The cows, he reports, will provide enough sustenance for his farm to get back on its feet.

"I am forever grateful for these people who gave my farm a second chance," he thanks profusely.

Upon further investigation we discovered the cows came from an unlikely source!

In fact, each cow was donated by EXO, Red Velvet, TWICE, Straykids, TXT, NCT Dream,
BLACKPINK, and last by not least IU herself!

These K-Pop icons have truly changed someone's life!

Stay tuned!

Prank War Groupchat

Jaemin: you know maybe we shouldn't have started this prank war with award shows happening
literally next week?

Suho: I want them to suffer.

Yeonjun: damn hyung

Yeonjun: what they ever do to you??

Suho: you mean more than kidnapping my member???

Nayeon: hold the fuck up

Nayeon: we dont know this??

Irene: alright alright

Irene: we can either lament the past again

Suho: sorry

Irene: or we can think of how to retaliate because the smell of cow poop won't leave ours
goddamn nostrils.

Chan: noona right

Jennie: suggestions??

Jaemin: oo guys listen to this!

Jaemin: [video]

Yeonjun: what the fuck is that and why does it make me wanna claw out my ears

Jaemin: i bought this online to prank the others during April's fools
Jaemin: its a device that emitts a high frequency sound randomly and absolutely drives you insane

Jaemin: best part is that it looks like a coin so no one would know HAHAHA

IU: you're actually evil aren't you?

Jaemin: lips sealed

Suho: okay great we're buying a bunch of that

Suho: and we send someone to sneak in and plant them

Suho: sounds good?

Chan: great!

Seventeen Groupchat

Joshua: what the fuck fell downstairs

Hoshi: seriously @Vernon @Dino be more careful we just replaced that broken vase

Vernon: dude im not downstairs

Dino: me neither???

The8: and before anyone starts pointing fingers at us

The8: mingyu seokmin and I are in the kitchen

Woozi: I'm in the studio with wonwoo

Seungcheol: upstairs balcony with jeonghan

Seungkwan: no one look at me and jun

Seungkwan: we're getting ready for our v-live

Jeonghan: wait wait wait

Jeonghan: if none of us are downstairs

Jeonghan: then who the fuck is???

Dino: IS THERE A THIEF IN OUR DORM

Seungcheol: everyone grab a weapon

Seungcheol: mingyu you're with me

Mingyu: coming

~
 Woozi: GUYS

Woozi: WE KIDNAPPED HIM AGAIN?

Chapter End Notes

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

Y'all I gotta warn you

This prank war's gonna be at least 4-5 chapters long

Consider yourselves warned.

Feed my curiosity: favorite prank in this book?

 Of Wars and Revenge Pt. 3
Chapter Summary

Of Wars and Revenge Pt. 3

In which it gets.... messier.

Chapter Notes

EiffelPuppy: Mingyu
Megaphone: DK
Lostboy: The8
KookieMonster: Jungkook
Thaibaby: Bambam
HitTheYug: Yugyeom
Greekgod: Jaehyun
EarlyBird: Eunwoo

I'm done with warnings at this point.

Read at your own discretion HAHAHAHAH

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Leaders Groupchat

Seungcheol: so....

JB: that doesn't sound good

Taeyong: oh fuck

Seungcheol: so like while we were upstairs in our dorm we heard a crash from downstairs

JinJin: uh huh....

Seungcheol: so naturally I thought it was one of my members right

Namjoon: right....

Seungcheol: and well

Seungcheol: [image]
Namjoon: we kidnapped sehun again?!

Seungcheol: we?

Taeyong: i mean we are technically a team so what you did is what we did

Seungcheol: right right

Seungcheol: am I supposed to release him?

JB: no??

JB: why the fuck would you do that??

Seungcheol: right thats what i thought

JinJin: lets just bring in suho hyung

Namjoon: gimme a second

97-Liners Groupchat

Megaphone: so..

Megaphone: did leader hyungs tell you?

EarlyBird: tell us what

Lostboy: looks like yall dont know

HitTheYug: ?????

Megaphone: [image]

KookieMonster: AGAIN?!

Lostboy: yeah mingyus got him trapped

Lostboy: sehun hyung says and I quote "why am I always collateral damage?!"

Greekgod: you're dumb enough to get kidnapped twice

Lostboy: he says "HEY I AM YOUR HYUNG RESPECT ME"

Thaibaby: no respect for the enemy rn

Thaibaby: honestly man we help you with your dispatch scandal and this is how you repay us??

Lostboy: he says "YOU LITERALLY KIDNAPPED ME LAST WAR AND I WASNT EVEN
PART OF IT"

EarlyBird: yeah well that's on you honestly

KookieMonster: eyo whats he even doing there

Megaphone: we caught him sneaking around the bottom floor

Megaphone: we think he was setting up a prank but we caught him

HitTheYug: doesnt he have anything with him?

Megaphone: one second he was trying to reach for his phone but gyu confiscated it

Megaphone: yeah anyways

Megaphone: no????

Megaphone: he just has a pocket full of coins

Greekgod: the fuck??

Megaphone: yeah no idea

[JB added Suho to the group]

Suho: GIVE ME BACK MY MEMBER

Namjoon: well this feels like deja vu

Suho: I FUCKING WONDER WHY

Taeyong: not our fault hyung's dumb enough to get kidnapped twice??

Suho: oh my fucking god

Suho: give him back or I swear you won't be happy

Seungcheol: over our fucking dead body

Suho: your death will be on my hands.

JB: yeah yeah

[JB removed Suho from the group]

JB: anyways anyone figured out what was their prank??

JinJin: nope we cant find anything :/

97-Liners Groupchat

KookieMonster: we figured out what the prank was.

EiffelPuppy: yeah??
EiffelPuppy: we're still curious

Thaibaby: oh yeah.

EarlyBird: tell sehun hyung to be glad I'm not next to him or I would've fucking shoved those
fucking coin down his fucking throat.

Lostboy: eunwoo...?

Megaphone: what the fuck....

Greekgod: I fucking agree.

Thaibaby: WE HAVENT SLEPT

Thaibaby: WE'RE PREPARING FOR MAMAS ON ZERO FUCKING SLEEP I HATE THEM
SO FUCKING MUCH

Thaibaby: ITS THE MOST ANNOYING SOUND IVE EVER HEARD FUCK THEM FUCK
THEMMMMMM

EiffelPuppy: why is sehun hyung cackling like a maniac??

EiffelPuppy: what the fuck did they do??

Greekgod: take one of the coins in his pocket and press it.

EiffelPuppy: okay...

Lostboy: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS NOISE

Megaphone: OW???

KookieMonster: TRY FUCKING LOOKING FOR THOSE COINS AT 3 AM AND FINDING

THEM INSIDE THE PILLOW CASES AND INSIDE THE ICE CUBES IN THE FREEZER

KookieMonster: IM KILLING TXT

Lostboy: murder is illegal....?

KookieMonster: SHUT UP SHUT UP

KookieMonster: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU WERENT THE ONE DRIVEN INSANE

EarlyBird: I fucking agree.

Greekgod: I'm hanging the dreamies by their feet on the ceiling.

EiffelPuppy: you two are supposed to be the sane ones....

HitTheYug: MINGYU SHUT THE FUCK UP

HitTheYug: THINK OF REVENGE INSTEAD

Megaphone: guys I think we dodged a bullet there

Lostboy: you fucking think?

Leaders Groupchat

JinJin: whats.

JinJin: the fucking.

JinJin: plan.

Seungcheol: none of you got any sleep huh

JB: seungcheol not a single word.

Taeyong: red velvet and exo take one look at us and burst out laughing

Taeyong: we're practically the laughing stock of SM

Taeyong: I will make them pay.

Namjoon: plan.

Seungcheol: wow namjoon hyung isnt even articulating properly

Namjoon: plan want. plan me want NOW. NOW PLAN PLAN NOW NOW PLAN PLAN NOW
PLAN NOW ME WANT PLAN NOW

JB: OKAY OKAY

JB: the 97 liners had an idea

JinJin: of course they did

JB: we know a watermelon farmer

JinJin: hyung why the fuck do you a watermelon farmer

JB: jackson has a lot of connections man

Taeyong: JACKSON AIN'T EVEN KOREAN

JB: IDK ASK HIM

Namjoon: plan?

Seungcheol: hyung, sweetheart, is that the only word you know now?

Namjoon: plan.

Seungcheol: there there

JB: anyways what if we stuffed their dorms with a shitton of watermelons with the soil

Taeyong: DONE.

Prank War Groupchat

IU: remind me again why did I agree to this prank war?

Yeonjun: THE LAST THING I NEEDED WAS TO FIND SOIL IN MY BOXERS OKAY

Nayeon: YOURE WORRIED ABOUT THAT WHAT ABOUT THE FARM OF

WATERMELONS

Yeonjun: OBVIOUSLY THAT TOO

Suho: yeah this might have not been my wisest idea

Irene: you fucking think

Irene: and I let you warp us into this

Suho: hey you went in this willingly don't look at me

Jennie: lisa fell on a watermelon and it broke all over our white carpet

Jaemin: big yikes

Jennie: tell me you're better.

Jaemin: no theres watermelon stains on our bed sheets :/

Jennie: that's what I thought.

Chan: I FOUND SOIL INSIDE THE TOILET

Chan: WHAT THE FUCK

Suho: okay that's it

Suho: I have a dorm filled with watermelons that could last me at least a year and a missing
member

Irene: I cannot believe he got tied up again

Suho: don't start with me joohyun I swear to god

Nayeon: instead of fighting lets think of what to do with the watermelons and our next plan of
action?

Suho: IU YOU'RE UP

IU: ight
IU: i got this

Yeonjun: woah woah what's noona gonna do?

Suho: I just don't think its fair that only our team has a kidnapped member

Yeonjun: rip hyung

Suho: and don't think you and txt won't be helping

Yeonjun: right

Dispatch: BREAKING NEWS

It's watermelon season!

This morning, senior citizens around Seoul received a generous donation of ripe watermelons!

This time, no further investigation was needed as EXO's Suho who was revealed to be the prime
donor agreed to give us a statement!

"My colleagues and I came across these beautiful watermelons and felt that since it is a beloved
fruit here in Korea, why not allow others to enjoy it too? It's wonderful and refreshing to eat!"

Owners and managers of the senior citizens centers are truly grateful for his donation!

It seems that with award show season coming up, everyone has been feeling in a very generous
mood!

Stay tuned!

Prank War Groupchat

[IU added Yoongi]

Yoongi: you kidnapped me and you're giving me my phone??

Yoongi: remove the tape off my mouth at least

IU: why?

IU: so you can scream for help?

IU: I'm being generous and giving you your phone so we can talk because _obviously_ no one in
my company knows you're here

IU: and I can confiscate it anytime I want

Jaemin: what noona said.

Yoongi: the fucking betrayal

Yoongi: is this because we kidnapped sehun again

Suho: OBVIOUSLY???

Yoongi: oh grow up

Yeonjun: I did tell you Yoongi hyung's gonna be annoying as fuck

Nayeon: no kidding

[IU removed Yoongi from the groupchat]

IU: I confiscated his phone

Leaders Groupchat

[Namjoon added Suho]

Namjoon: GIVE ME BACK MY MEMBER

Suho: OH HOW THE TURNTABLES

Suho: ISNT FUN WHEN IT HAPPENS TO YOU HUH

Namjoon: listen here

Namjoon: you think we playing around here?

Namjoon: GIVE HIM BACK

Suho: GIVE ME MINE FIRST

Seungcheol: yeah no

Seungcheol: what guarantees us Yoongi hyung comes back?

Suho: you dont get him back until I get sehun back

Namjoon: you know what

Namjoon: what does yoongi say about this

Suho: idk ask him

[Suho added Yoongi]

Yoongi: IU gave me back my phone

Taeyong: hyung how they treating you

Yoongi: meh

JB: suho hyung wants us to trade sehun for you

Yoongi: over my dead body.

Yoongi: I'm rotting here and I better not see sehun back in the SM building

JinJin: well

JinJin: @Suho you heard the guy

Suho: what the fuck are you guys

Taeyong: not amateurs that's for sure

Taeyong: why does your manager know about the prank war??

Suho: uh how do you know that?

Suho: and wait yours doesn't?

JB: obviously not

Yoongi: I'm kidnapped by a bunch of amateurs???

Suho: oh fuck you

Namjoon: anyways hyung we expect yoongi on our doorstep the day of the MAMAs and we will
do the same with sehun

Namjoon: after the award shows the victims go back with their kidnappers

Suho: deal

Seungcheol: good

[Namjoon removed Suho from the group]

Namjoon: hyung all good?

Yoongi: all good sweetheart

Namjoon: okay

[Namjoon removed Yoongi from the group]

Seungcheol: ugh youre so sweet with each other im gonna throw up

Namjoon: oh shut up it isn't like you're not sweet with your boyfriends

Prank War Groupchat

Suho: so I tried to bargain the hostages...

IU: why is Yoongi asking for lamb skewers and a pillow?

Suho: right so get this

Suho: they don't wanna give us sehun and yoongi doesnt wanna go back

Nayeon: wait wait hold on

Nayeon: he wants to remain a prisoner?

Suho: yes

Jennie: and bts is just comfortable with that?

Suho: yes

Chan: what the fuck?

97-Liners Groupchat

EarlyBird: bro how did yoongi hyung get kidnapped??

Thaibaby: I bet txt had something to do with this

Lostboy: BRO HES SO FUCKING METAL

Lostboy: DID YOU SEE WHAT HE SAID ON THE LEADERS GROUPCHAT

Greekgod: send???

Megaphone: [image]

HitTheYug: AMAZING

KookieMonster: I have a bone to pick with txt.

Private Chat: Jungkook and Soobin

Jungkook: you little shits

Jungkook: we help you get together in a loving relationship and you repay with the enemy???

Jungkook: you?!

Soobin: yeah think about that the next time you out me to the entire kpop industry

Jungkook: oh please the entire kpop industry was invested in your happiness

Jungkook: the disrespect

Soobin: oh get over it hyung

Soobin: although you do make a point about siding with the enemy
Soobin: after all noonas were part of the investigation....

Jungkook: what the fuck does that mean

Jungkook: are you siding with us??? :DDDDD

Soobin: fuck no

Jungkook: youve been hanging out with your group way too much

Soobin: I have you to thank for that ;)

Jungkook: OH FUCK OFF

Private Chat: Yeonjun and Jaemin

Yeonjun: nana

Jaemin: thats me

Yeonjun: I have a proposition

Jaemin: uh huh.....

Yeonjun: these damn 3rd gens man...

Jaemin: true

Yeonjun: they're not letting us live up to our full potential (us rn= 50%, could be = 100%)

Jaemin: fax no printer but we have to listen to em

Yeonjun: but we have to slay, king

Yeonjun: the patriarchy is like leading us and shit

Jaemin: we're men too

Yeonjun: yes but imagine a world with no Suho as leader (rip bozo)

Yeonjun: besides why are we trusting someone whos member got kidnapped twice?

Yeonjun: it's the incompetence for me...

Jaemin: word

Jaemin: but my brother in christ what do you suggest we do

Yeonjun: your honor, my clients (TXT) suggest we (4th gen slayers) seperate from 3rd gens
dictatorship

Jaemin: ....
Jaemin: i'll talk to chan hyung

Yeonjun: purr.

4th Gen Prank War Groupchat

[Jaemin added Chan]

[Jaemin added Yeonjun]

Yeonjun: thank you for joining us hyung

Chan: my absolute pleasure

Jaemin: guys

Jaemin: our other 4th gen friends absolutely cannot find out about this

Yeonjun: ateez will hunt me and my members down if they found out

Chan: same with itzy

Jaemin: same with aespa

Yeonjun: great!

Yeonjun: whats the first plan

Private Chat: Wooyoung and Heeseung

Wooyoung: heeseung-ah

Wooyoung: have txt and straykids been ignoring you by any chance?

Heeseung: uh

Heeseung: yes actually

Wooyoung: ive been trying to talk to yeonjun and changbin properly for like the past two weeks
and I barely get any response

Heeseung: same with the rest actually

Heeseung: plus txt have been acting really weird in the company

Wooyoung: how so

Heeseung: last week they had a meeting with one manager alone for a full two hours

Wooyoung: the fuck?

Wooyoung: okay thats it im demanding answers

Private Chat: Wooyoung and Changbin

Wooyoung: fucking answer me or I swear to all things mighty ill crash your place and tell your
members about that time you were drunk and thought bang chan was yeonjun and you tried to
make out with him then ended up throwing up and passing out on his carpet

Changbin: what the fuck do you want

Wooyoung: where the fuck have you been

Changbin: busy.

Wooyoung: yeah we've all been busy but that doesnt change the fact that heeseung-ah and I agree
that your group and txt have been acting weird

Changbin: you have no proof

Wooyoung: dont test me

Changbin: FINE FINE

Changbin: just

Changbin: dont get mad

Wooyoung: ?

Changbin: we're in a prank war

Wooyoung: WHAT

Wooyoung: WITHOUT US?

Wooyoung: AGAINST WHO

Changbin: BTS GOT7 NCT ASTRO and SEVENTEEN

Wooyoung: HOW DARE

Wooyoung: wait

Wooyoung: youre against the 97 liners?

Changbin: uh yes?

Wooyoung: the same 97 liners who are the bane of dispatch?

Changbin: uhhhhh yes...?

Wooyoung: the same 97 liners who convinced the entire world theyre an elite group who own a
resort in jeju and the press doesnt dare come close to it?

Changbin: .....

Wooyoung: the same 97 liners who beat a group to the pulp because they looked at TWICE
sunbaenims wrong?

Changbin: shit?

Wooyoung: yup nope im out

Wooyoung: youre fucked and thats on you

Changbin: uh how fucked do you think we are

Wooyoung: youre seriously asking that question?

Changbin: shit.

Private Chat: Wooyoung and Heeseung

Wooyoung: theyre in a prank war against the 97 liners

Heeseung: oh they're fucked fucked

Wooyoung: yup HAHAHAHAH

Wooyoung: wait till itzy hears about this

Prank War Groupchat

Jaemin: AHEM

Jaemin: we have an announcement to make

Yeonjun: SEORICHILLA

Irene: and what may that be?

Chan: um hi noona

Yeonjun: BOYS WE MUST NOT LOSE COURAGE

Jaemin: we (4th generation idols) have decided to leave this group and form our own

Yeonjun: ngl tbh

IU: excuse me?

Chan: hehe... that's right...?

 Yeonjun: fr fr

Suho: you will regret this.

Yeonjun: ooo im so scared!

Yeonjun: anyways!

Yeonjun: bye!

[Yeonjun left the groupchat]

[Chan left the groupchat]

[Jaemin left the groupchat]

Irene: you know there's a highlight to this

Jennie: a highlight to being betrayed?

Irene: of course

Irene: it means us girls can finally truly take charge

Nayeon: unnie I can see the gears in your head turning

Suho: um im still here

IU: yes we will need henchmen and exo will be perfect for it

Suho: uh

Suho: was I just de-throned?

IU: yes

IU: now we have an alliance to form

Suho: what alliance

Nayeon: excellent idea unnie

Chapter End Notes

Ahem

Thoughts? HAHAHAHAH

End Notes
End Notes

Not to alarm anyone, but now cross-posted on Wattpad for shits and giggles.

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