name:

Glorious Hope
Recovery is for everybody.

2017 EDITION

PARTICIPANT’S
WORKBOOK

1
This workbook was inspired by the works done by God through our Lord Jesus
Christ in the broken lives of people who contributed their personal experiences
in their journey in response to 2 Corinthians 1:4

Because all have sinned, we have hurt ourselves and others. Glorious Hope
exists to help liberate the families from the bondage of destructive hurts, habits
and hang-ups through our Lord Jesus Christ; and to equip them with tools to
overcome their hurts, habits and hang-ups in order for them to be productive in
the community.

Glorious Hope Ministry

Frontera Verde,
Ortigas Avenue corner C5
Pasig City
Tel No. 8669985
 TABLE OF
CONTENTS

Serenity Prayer ............................................................................................................................... ..................... iii

12 Steps of Recovery ............................................................................................................................... .........iv

Preface: Why Glorious Hope? .................................................................................................................... vi

Lesson 1: Denial and Powerlessness .................................................................................................... 2

Lesson 2: Unmanageable ........................................................................................................................... 8

Lesson 3: Sanity ............................................................................................................................... ...................18

Lesson 4: Hope ............................................................................................................................... .................. 28

Lesson 5: Decision ............................................................................................................................... ........... 32

Lesson 6: Action ............................................................................................................................... ................ 38

References ............................................................................................................................... ............................. 52

Glorious Hope Workbook Series .......................................................................................................... 53

Step Study Guidelines ............................................................................................................................... ..54

ii
 Serenity Prayer
God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace;

Taking as Jesus did,

this sinful world as it is,
not as I would have it;
Trusting that You will make all things right
if I surrender to Your will;
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
and supremely happy with You forever in the next.
Amen.

REINHOLD NIEBUHR

iii
 12 STEPS OF RECOVERY
12 STEPS
Step 1
We admitted we were powerless
over our addictions and compulsive
behaviors, that our lives had become
unmanageable.
Step 2
We came to believe that God through
JESUS CHRIST who is greater than
ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Step 3
We made a decision to turn our lives
and our wills over to the care of our Lord
Jesus Christ.
Step 4
We made a searching and honest moral
inventory of ourselves.
Step 5
We fearlessly admitted to ourselves, to
God and to another human being the
exact nature of our wrongs.
Step 6
We were entirely ready and willing to
change and for God to remove all these
defects of character.
iv GLORIOUS HOPE PARTICIPANT’S WORKBOOK
BIBLE VERSE
Matthew 9:12
But when Jesus heard this, He said, "It
is not those who are healthy who need a
physician, but those who are sick.”
John 5:6
When Jesus saw him lying there, and
knew that he already been a long time
in that condition. He said to him, “Do
you wish to get well?”
Romans 12:1
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view
of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies
to God – this is your spiritual act of
worship.
John 3:21
But he who practices the truth comes
to the light, that his deeds may be
manifested as having been wrought in
God.
James 5:16
Therefore confess your sins to each
other and pray for each other so that
you maybe healed.
Luke 9:23
And He was saying to them all, "If
anyone wishes to come after Me, let him
deny himself, and take up his cross daily,
and follow Me.
 12 STEPS
Step 7
We humbly asked God to remove all our
defects of character
Step 8
We made a list of all persons we had
harmed and became willing to make
amends to them all.
Step 9
We made direct amends to such people
whenever possible, except when to do
so would injure them or others.
Step 10
We continued to take personal inventory
and when wrong, promptly admitted it
to ourselves, to God, and to the other
person affected.
Step 11
We sought to improve our conscious
contact with God through prayer and
meditation
Step 12
We, having experienced our Lord Jesus
Christ through these steps, practiced
all these principles in all our affairs and
carried His message.
BIBLE VERSE
Hebrews 12: 5-6
...My son, do not regard lightly the
discipline of the Lord, nor faint when
you are reproved by Him; [6] For those
whom the Lord loves He disciplines,
And He scourges every son whom He
receives.
1 Peter 3:11
And let him turn away from evil and do
good; let him seek peace and pursue it.
Matthew 5:23-24
If therefore you are presenting your
offering at the altar, and there remember
that your brother has something against
you, [24] leave your offering there
be reconciled to your brother, and then
come and present your offering.
2 Timothy 1:9
...who has saved us, and called us with a
holy calling, not according to our works,
but according to His own purpose and
grace which was granted us in Christ
Jesus from all eternity,
Jeremiah 9:24
but let him who boasts boast of this, that
he understands and knows Me, that I am
the Lord who exercises lovingkindness,
justice, and righteousness on earth; for
I delight in these things," declares the
Lord.
2 Corinthians. 1:4
that we may be able to comfort those
with which we ourselves are comforted
by God.
v
 PREFACE:
WHY
GLORIOUS
HOPE?

The challenging times of the 21st century make it hard for individuals to face the

unaware of their presence until we feel their overwhelming pressure. The family,
which used to serve as our refuge, is showing traces of stress. Parental absenteeism
and unstable marital unions have been pre-dominant in households due to the
continuing pressures of our changing environment. The impact is most dramatic
on the personalities and characters of individuals.

as behavioral tools to overcome adversity, disadvantage, or disability without

eliminating their underlying conditions. When coping methods are overused, they
tend to worsen one's condition and ultimately result to greater problems and
contribute to forming habits. Not only that but such behavior is passed on from
one generation to another until one believes that such behavior is normal.

The word “recovery” has been the most misunderstood word as it is always
associated with drugs, alcoholism or sickness. The truth is “recovery is for
everybody”. All of us have sinned and because of this, we have hurt someone
as we too were hurt by others. In one way or another, we have some unresolved
hurts; we develop habits to cope with this experience, and hang-ups to defend the
continuance of our lifestyle.

we ourselves resist the change because it causes us to feel inept.

vi GLORIOUS HOPE PARTICIPANT’S WORKBOOK

The Glorious Hope TEAM went through the stages of recovery and wrote down
their experiences using the 12-Steps as its framework to come up with a material
that systematically and progressively allows the person to discover his dysfunctional
behavior. The program then goes deeper, to the root cause of our issue and,
eventually, reverting us to God’s original design in creating us.

Finishing the session and unlearning our old ways are not the only objectives of
this program. To be a life coach to someone starting in the succeeding program is
the main goal. As this cycle of learning is practiced we internalize the principles of
the program in order to make it part of our lifestyle.

Just as there is a downward, negative spiral, there also is an upward, positive spiral.
When a person learns new information that counteracts his early belief system,
gets the support of others, musters enough courage to act on the new knowledge
within the context of a community, things begin to improve. The step up motivates
the person to continue on the new path. Such would be more meaningful when
that person realizes the meaning of life and God’s given purpose for him/her. As
he/she learns this truth he/she becomes a productive member of society.

This is what the GLORIOUS HOPE RECOVERY PROGRAM is all about.

vii
 STEP 1
“We admitted we were powerless
over our addictions and compulsive
behaviors, and that our lives have become
unmanageable.”

Matthew 9:12
“...It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick.”

THINK ABOUT IT

We are to admit our powerlessness which is our basic condition. It is not the
powerlessness that led our lives to becoming unmanageable but rather, it is our
denial of this powerlessness.

Step 1 is about telling the truth about ourselves, our situation, and the condition
we are in. The verse above pictures our need for a physician because we are sick,
weak and therefore powerless. Unless we admit that we have a problem, recovery
will never start.

A. WE ARE NOT GOD

Powerlessness is the inability to exert ___________________ control over

people, places, events, things, and even ourselves.

While God has absolute power and control over the whole universe, it is
________________ for man to covet this same power and control for himself.
Such is our nature—we desire to exercise control over our self, and we get
frustrated when we fail. The apostle Paul says in

Romans 7:18

is present in me, but the doing of the good is not.”

2
 This is a picture of what powerlessness is all about. The issue is not so much that
man wants to do the wrong thing. The truth is that man is __________________ to
do the _____________ thing and man attempts to cover up this powerlessness
through denial.

leaves in the garden of Eden.

Genesis 3:7
“Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they

coverings.”

Like Adam who failed to admit he needed help from God, we are caught in
denial and cover ourselves with elaborate masks.

However, realizing and admitting that we are not God and that there are many
things completely beyond our control can be hindered by factors like:

• Fear and shame gotten from a past experience

• Values in our culture
• Plain ignorance

B. WHAT IS DENIAL?

1. Denial is the ______________ to acknowledge the existence or severity of

unpleasant realities, thoughts, or feelings.

a. It is an ________________ of control.

b. It is a _____________________ of beliefs.

c. It is a learned ______________________.

d. It keeps us from _________________ facing the truth.

e. It becomes ____________________ and operates without us being

aware of it.

f. It is __________________.

LESSON 01: DENIAL AND POWERLESSNESS 3

 2. Denial comes in many forms:

a.
seriousness

b. Blaming or Projecting – holding other people, circumstances, peers,

environment, weather or even inanimate objects responsible for
something we are accountable for, in order to escape the consequences
of one’s own actions

c. Rationalizing – offering excuses or some other explanation to be the

shortcomings.

d. Intellectualizing or Spiritualizing – avoiding uncomfortable emotions

by focusing on facts and pretending to be objective and logical. By
using jargon, technical language, or complex terminology, everyone’s

the emotional effects.

e. Diversion – changing the subject or using diversionary tactics to avoid

discussion even if it unrelated to the current issue. Sometimes the
easiest way to do this is to directly attack our opponent or a third party.

f. Hostility – showing anger or irritability when a problem is referred to

3. What happens when a person continues to live in denial?

Because it will affect his relationships and develop unhealthy character

traits, a person in denial progressively becomes:

D _____________________
E _____________________
N _____________________
I _____________________
A _____________________
L _____________________

4 GLORIOUS HOPE PARTICIPANT’S WORKBOOK

C. HOW DO WE APPLY THIS LESSON?

Stepping out of denial is the start of recovery.

Matthew 9:12
“..... It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are
sick.”

How then can we recover if we remain as we are? We must understand

that powerlessness is not failure. It was our stubborn refusal to admit our
powerlessness that kept us helpless in the hands of our problems.

To step out of denial and admit powerlessness, we must focus on four actions:

STOP!

1. Stop denying the pain  We must face it and go through it!

2. Stop playing God  Instead of doing things on our own,

we need to allow God to take control

Then we must START!

3. Start admitting that we are powerless.

4. Start admitting that our lives have become unmanageable.

Doing these actions sets off our journey to recovery. Most of all, we can let go
of the loneliness, emptiness, and separation caused by maintaining a “false
sense of power” over our situation.

LESSON 01: DENIAL AND POWERLESSNESS 5

 WRITE ABOUT IT

1. Recall instances which instinctively affect you. v(Include words uttered

consciously or unconsciously, gestures, facial expressions and actions actually
directed to you)

EXPERIENCES or WHAT TRIGGERS

SITUATIONS THAT HOW DO I RESPOND? THOSE REACTIONS
INSTINCTIVELY (Forms Of Denial, IN ME?
AFFECT ME #2, Section B)
#3, section B)
When people suggest or I would show HOSTILITY I became DEFENSIVE and
make comments about by making nasty replies ANGRY because I felt that
something I have done and questioning their they were belittling my
motives in my mind abilities

6 GLORIOUS HOPE PARTICIPANT’S WORKBOOK

2. What did you discover about yourself as you were answering the table above?
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________

3.
want to continue living this way?
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________

LESSON 01: DENIAL AND POWERLESSNESS 7

 STEP 1
“We admitted we were powerless
over our addictions and compulsive
behaviors, and that our lives have become
unmanageable.”

Exodus 20:5-6
You shall not worship them or serve them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous
God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, on the third and fourth
generations of those who hate Me, but showing lovingkindness to thousands, to
those who love Me and keep My commandments.

THINK ABOUT IT
In Lesson 1, we learned that we are powerless over our situations and we have not

situation is unmanageable, it will eventually affect our family and cause dysfunction.
In fact, we could even be a product of such a family where unmanageability is a
pattern. As we accomplish our family mapping exercise in this lesson, we will
discover that family patterns are passed on from one generation to another. Step
1 is all about cause and effect. The cause is our denial of powerlessness; the
effect is that our lives have become unmanageable—a similar concept to being
dysfunctional.

A. ALL DYSFUNCTIONS ARE BIRTHED IN (OR STEM FROM) THE FAMILY

consisting of a man, a woman, and their offspring—all members of a household

under one roof.

8
 that functions as a unit, where every family member plays a critical, if not a
unique role in the system. As such, it is not possible for one member to alter
his behavior without causing a ripple effect of change throughout the entire
family system.

A ______________________ family is one that is unable to carry out its

function of promoting the ________________, ________________, and
___________________ well-being of its members.

•
____________________ basis.

• The children develop the idea that this pattern as normal.

• Dysfunctional families are __________ bad families.

B. CAUSES OF FAMILY DYSFUNCTION

facing individuals and families. These dysfunctional behavior patterns are easily
transferred to new relationships. We tend to take our familiar role in one system
and repeat that role in other systems into which we enter. A dysfunctional
family setup is the unhealthy place where family members develop escape
mechanisms to cope with pain, suffering, fear, and loneliness.

The following scenarios can create or trigger dysfunctional reactions:

1. Separated and/or absentee parents

2. Divorce
3. Death
4. Addictions
5. Major illnesses
6. Deprivation or neglect
7. Emotional, physical, and sexual abuse

The way we handle problems determines how these problems will affect
our lives and our families for generations to come. The ______________ of
powerlessness sets the domino effect of dysfunction in motion within our
family, starting with us.

LESSON 02: UNMANAGEABLE 9

 properly. This concept is related to man’s basic psychological needs that
motivate him to achieve goals and perform certain activities. We all have deep

our family.

love tank and emotional needs of their children. Ideally, a child gets his love

______________________________ occurs when a child feels responsible for a

parent’s emotional well-being. Some parents do not know how to have healthy
emotional boundaries. They are emotionally dishonest with themselves and
cannot get their emotional needs met by their spouse or other adults. This can
happen with one or both parents of the same or opposite sex.

This ultimately carries a shattering effect on the children’s ability to set

boundaries and take care of getting their own needs met when they become

with his own sexuality and gender and his ability to have successful intimate
relationships as an adult.

C. EFFECTS OF FAMILY DYSFUNCTION

When an individual or family does not seek to heal these wounds, a legacy
of dysfunction begins and later passed on to the next generation in varying
degrees. Family members will tend to adapt to unhealthy behaviors to cope
and meet their needs. But it only brings temporary satisfaction and later
results in unmet emotional needs or empty “love tanks.” In later life, issues or
dysfunctions in character appear such as:

• Anxiety and frustration

• Anger and resentment
• Addictions and compulsions
• Denial
• Lack of empathy and understanding

10 GLORIOUS HOPE PARTICIPANT’S WORKBOOK

D. HOW DO WE APPLY THIS LESSON?

We are a product of our past, in the same way our parents are products of
theirs. We all have unmet needs, which we were never able to deal with. The
frustration, anger, or bitterness of those unprocessed and unmet needs may
still be in our system somewhere. Growing up in a dysfunctional family is not
simple. Recovery is not easy. It requires transformation at the deepest level.
And it should start with us. The dysfunction can be stopped only if we love God
enough to show our obedience to His commandment.

Exodus 20:6
…but showing lovingkindness to thousands, to those who love Me and keep
My commandments.

God meant for us to experience intimate relationships with Him and others.
To do this, we need to develop skills in ________________ honestly to others
and to God, ____________________ feelings to others and to God, and
___________________________ others and God.

1. Learning to Talk

• To others
________________________ that honesty is scary and carries risks. We
can ask God for courage to be able to express our innermost hurts and
feelings, and for the wisdom to do so with balance, in consideration for
others.

• To God
__________________ that God hears us and attentively listens to us. We
must believe that God is gracious and compassionate. Read Scriptures
(His Word, the Bible) and talk to Him in prayer.

2. Learning to Express Feelings

• To others
Healing begins when we are able to reach the __________________
of our hurts and emotions. We are interdependent with each other.
We should also learn to value and respect other people’s feelings and
differences.

LESSON 02: UNMANAGEABLE 11

 • To God
We can be _________________ honest with God because nothing
escapes His wisdom.

3. Learning to Trust

• Others
Practical steps to take may include making plans to

• God
We need to ________________ and ________________ the fact that God
cares. He values us and will provide for us. Recalling God’s gracious
intervention in the past can help reshape our values, our hopes, and
our behavior.

12 GLORIOUS HOPE PARTICIPANT’S WORKBOOK

 WRITE ABOUT IT

A. MAPPING YOUR FAMILY: IDENTIFYING DYSFUNCTIONS

Caution: We are not looking at the dysfunctional patterns in order to blame our
parents or anyone; rather we want to better understand our often inexplicable
reactions and habits.

It would be easier to change and correct our thinking and behavior if we knew
where we learned them and how these patterns worked:

1. List down names of every member of your family, going as far back as your
great grandparents on both parents if possible. Use the chart on the next
page.

2. Leave enough space between each name to write your observations.

3. Write each member’s characteristics to include good/bad traits. For example,

under “Father” you might write: sense of humor, hard worker, smoker,
bad temper, overweight, autocratic, loving. Include also descriptions like
abusive, intelligent, alcoholic, money problems, workaholic, unfaithful, or
dishonest.

B. ANALYSIS: HOW MUCH DYSFUNCTION?

Draw a circle around similar traits. Then draw a line through traits passed on
through generations. Lastly, highlight the traits passed down to you personally
in a different color.

The task may seem overwhelming and uncomfortable. But it is exactly what
you need to begin the process of change.

Do not let this discourage you! You have just begun a discovery process that
will allow you to grow out of the dysfunction and start a new life in Jesus.

LESSON 02: UNMANAGEABLE 13

 MAPPING MY FAMILY
FATHER'S SIDE MY FAMILY MOTHER'S SIDE
Great Grandfather Father Great Grandfather

Great Grandmother Mother Great Grandmother

Great Grand Uncles Brother 1 Great Grand Uncles

Great Grand Aunties Brother 2 Great Grand Aunties

Grandfather Brother 3 Grandfather

14 GLORIOUS HOPE PARTICIPANT’S WORKBOOK

 MAPPING MY FAMILY
FATHER'S SIDE MY FAMILY MOTHER'S SIDE
Grandmother Sister 1 Grandmother

Uncles Sister 2 Uncles

Aunts Sister 3 Aunts

Cousins Me Cousins

LESSON 02: UNMANAGEABLE 15

 MAPPING MY FAMILY
FATHER'S SIDE MY FAMILY MOTHER'S SIDE
Great Grandfather Father Great Grandfather

Great Grandmother Mother Great Grandmother

Great Grand Uncles Brother 1 Great Grand Uncles

Great Grand Aunties Brother 2 Great Grand Aunties

Grandfather Brother 3 Grandfather

16 GLORIOUS HOPE PARTICIPANT’S WORKBOOK

 MAPPING MY FAMILY
FATHER'S SIDE MY FAMILY MOTHER'S SIDE
Grandmother Sister 1 Grandmother

Uncles Sister 2 Uncles

Aunts Sister 3 Aunts

Cousins Me Cousins

LESSON 02: UNMANAGEABLE 17

 STEP 2
“We came to believe that God through
Jesus Christ who is greater than ourselves
could restore us to sanity.”

Romans 7:15, 19
For that which I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I
would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. For the good that I wish, I
do not do; but I practice the very evil that I do not wish.

THINK ABOUT IT

The next step after admitting that we are powerless over any form of addiction
and compulsive behavior is to believe in what God can do. The phrase "came to
believe that God through Jesus Christ" is an action phrase for us to move forward
towards a relationship that involves trusting in the person of JESUS.

A. WHAT IS INSANITY?

We often associate insanity with patients in a mental asylum but Albert Einstein

expecting different results.

they have brought us some relief in the past.

A __________________________ is a behavior tool, which may be used by an

individual to overcome adversity, disadvantage, or disability—without really
eliminating the underlying causes.

18
is “rewarding” for us. And so we repeat the same behavior, until it has become
deeply ingrained in our system. Knowing where we learned certain behaviors
and how these worked in the past together with identifying our belief systems
will make it easier for us to change and correct wrong thought patterns and
behavior.

1. Early Development

Early childhood is a time of tremendous growth. Hence, the primary task

at this stage is skills development. Research in development learning show
that children learn these skills in three major ways:

a. ________________________
b. ________________________
c. ________________________

These learning methods are developed within our subconscious. We may

wonder why we cannot do what we want to do even though we know it to
be the right thing to do. We never understood why we felt so helpless and
unable to control ourselves at certain times, or why we overreact to small
problems, only worsening the risk of harming ourselves further and causing
ourselves and others more pain. The apostle Paul had a similar experience:

Romans 7:15, 19
For that which I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing
what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. For the good
that I wish, I do not do; but I practice the very evil that I do not wish.

As children, we absorbed everything that happened around us, and our

experiences shaped our beliefs and behavior. And without understanding
whether these patterns were healthy or not, they were invariably reinforced
by dysfunctions in our family.

2. Roles

According to a research done by Family Systems Dynamics, children

at puberty adapt to certain roles based on the family dynamics in their
families of origin. Some roles are passive while others are more aggressive,
especially when the child feels the need to compete for the attention and
love of other family members.

LESSON 03: SANITY 19

 a. The ______________ child
• The child (typically the eldest) takes over that parental role, learns

• The "premature" adult child becomes rigid, controlling and

extremely judgmental of others and secretly of themselves.
• As adults, they often feel the need to cover up some perceived
inadequacy, insecurity, or failure.

b. The ______________ child

• This child behaves against the norms and standards set within the
family.
•
they feel hurt and rejected.
• As adults, they become even more hostile and irresponsible. They
do not do well in school because of lack of motivation, which
eventually affects their career and capacity to earn adequate
income.

c. The ______________ child

• This child is the invisible family member who has low self-esteem.
• To hide feelings of shame they feel for some perceived reason, they
shy away from social gatherings and disappear into a world of their
own.
•
tend to have poor communication skills. At times, they are confused
about their sexuality and purpose.
• To cover up for their shortcomings, they strive to and usually succeed

emotionally, or put on a mask of arrogance or hostility to cover their

failure.

d. The ___________________
• As a child, they always like to be in the center of attention. They
do this by either clowning around or serving others (i.e., meeting
needs, solving problems). They are actually trying to divert people’s
attention away from their shortcomings.
• They have very low self-worth, cannot seem to say “no,” and are
always "extra nice" to people. Typically, they are people pleasers.
• As adults, they allow themselves to be used and manipulated by
someone with a psychological problem or addictive behavior.
Their sense of self-worth is centered on other people’s recovery or
success.

20 GLORIOUS HOPE PARTICIPANT’S WORKBOOK

 • But they themselves don’t know how to get their own needs met.
Ironically, this person often gets involved in abusive relationships

often blame themselves as the cause of the abuser’s behavior.

We tend to adapt to roles that best suit our needs at certain times. The
longer we play a role, the more we become rigidly _________________ to
that role.

We all have “leftovers” from our childhood—from wonderful traditions

to silly annoying habits, and major dysfunctions. When we choose to
perpetuate and continue the negative behavior patterns we’ve learned as
children, we add momentum to the downward spiral of our lives.

The chart below shows the negative downward spiral in which negative
patterns are repeated.

a. Coping skills: We learn to make certain actions our habits or behavior

our desires instantly or helps

us escape the problem.

b. Habit: Once a behavior is learned and then reinforced, it becomes our

automatic response to a situation. When our behavior becomes a habit,
we’re already doing it without thinking or even realizing it.

LESSON 03: SANITY 21

 c. Distorted results: Since these habitual actions succeed in giving us the

we are pressured or stressed.

d. Distorted thinking: Over the years, these habits become an integral

predetermines how we respond to and interpret situations.

e. Distorted emotions: The reinforcement of our distorted thinking slowly

forms and shapes our emotions.

f. Distorted behavior: Repeating this cycle many times causes the pattern
and behavior to become deeply ingrained, until it becomes a “normal”
part of our system, which only leads us farther down the cycle.

3. Choices We Make in Dealing with Life Challenges

As we live through these dysfunctional patterns, we make different choices

with regard to manifesting or acting out these behaviors. These choices are
largely the result of the internal conditioning ingrained in our subconscious
mind. We tend to gravitate towards people who have similar psychological

culture we grew up with. Our access to media and the internet also affect
the choices available to us.

Many of us deal with life’s challenges in the following ways:

a. Substance Addiction
• Alcoholism
• Drug dependence
• Smoking
• Prescription medications

b. Disorders Related To Body And Self-Image

• Eating disorders – anorexia nervosa, bulimia, compulsive overeaters,
hoarding of food
• Compulsive/excessive exercise
• Relationship addictions – multiple romantic relationships, often
choosing people who are incapable of commitment
• Sexual addictions to internet pornography, cyber relationships,
pedophilia, prostitution, chronic masturbation

22 GLORIOUS HOPE PARTICIPANT’S WORKBOOK

 c. Compulsive Behaviors
• Anger and rage addiction, whereby anger and explosive rage are
the dominant means to control others and relationships, or to deal
with life’s stress
• Workaholism: preoccupation with work even while at home or
on vacation, over-involvement in outside interests such as clubs,
politics, religion, or sports
• Money addictions, which include compulsive shopping and

saving”)
• Media addictions to computers, games, television, or reading as a
form of escape from stress and responsibilities

d. Wrong Thought Patterns

• Insecurity
• Poor self-esteem
• Destructive behavior
• Poor development of basic skills
•
• Inability to trust or love others
• Suicidal thoughts
• Critical thoughts
• Anxiety and fears

Change is not easy

resistant to the change we are pursuing. We have to struggle with the feeling
of awkwardness or incompetence.

B. HOW DO WE APPLY THIS LESSON?

Just as there is a downward negative spiral, there is also an upward positive

spiral. The good news is that we are not stuck in our emotional and relational
patterns— for these can be changed. To change, we must understand the
meaning of sanity and the insanity of our repetitive, ineffective ways of dealing
with our issues.

__________________ is wholeness of mind, and soundness of judgment or

reason and decision-making based on the truth.

LESSON 03: SANITY 23

 It is replacing the distorted truth or the lies we have fed ourselves over the

initially worked for us and helped us get what we wanted at some point in the
past.

Family patterns are learned early in life, become automatic through the years
but they can be changed!

If we learn new information that contradicts our early belief system, have the
support of a group that encourages us to change, and have the courage to act

To illustrate and help us remember the new habits we need to adopt, we

coined an acronym for SANITY:

S______________________________________________________

Matthew 6:33

to you.

A______________________________________________________

2 Corinthians 5:10
For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one
may be recompensed for his deeds in the body, according to what he has
done, whether good or bad.

N______________________________________________________

John 8:34–36
Jesus answered them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who commits sin is
the slave of sin. And the slave does not remain in the house forever; the son
does remain forever. If therefore the Son shall make you free, you shall be free
indeed.”

I______________________________________________________

Romans 12:2
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing
of your mind that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good
and acceptable and perfect.

24 GLORIOUS HOPE PARTICIPANT’S WORKBOOK

T______________________________________________________

Proverbs 3:5–6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

Y______________________________________________________

John 14:21
"He who has My commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves Me; and
he who loves Me shall be loved by My Father, and I will love him, and will
disclose Myself to him."

LESSON 03: SANITY 25

 WRITE ABOUT IT

1. As far as you can remember, what topics were often discussed in your family?
What was not discussed or talked about?
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________

2. What made you happy and content as a child? What did you do to maintain
this feeling or situation?
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________

3. What made you sad or lonely? What did you do to make yourself feel better?
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________

26 GLORIOUS HOPE PARTICIPANT’S WORKBOOK

4.
in times like these?
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________

5. Growing up in a dysfunctional family "forced" us as children to take on different

roles to cope and emotionally survive. What role did you play in your family—
how did that impact your life as an adult?
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________

6.

____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________

LESSON 03: SANITY 27

 STEP 2
“We came to believe that God through
Jesus Christ who is greater than ourselves
could restore us to sanity.”

John 5:6
When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he had already been a long time
in that condition, He said to him, "Do you wish to get well?"

THINK ABOUT IT

key action in this step is “coming to believe” that God's power is a power "for
us" rather than "against us." Our hope is in the person of God through Jesus
Christ who is genuinely powerful, compassionate, and interested in restoring us.
Our hope should never be placed on any object, circumstance, or situation. The
second step of the healing process invites us to believe in God through Jesus
Christ who is our living hope.

A. SUPERIORITY OF MERCY AND COMPASSION

John 5:2–9
Now there is in Jerusalem by the sheep gate a pool, which is called in Hebrew

sick, blind, lame, and withered, [waiting for the moving of the waters; for an
angel of the Lord went down at certain seasons into the pool, and stirred up

man was there, who had been thirty-eight years in his sickness. When Jesus
saw him lying there, and knew that he had already been a long time in that
condition, He said to him, "Do you wish to get well?" The sick man answered
Him, "Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up,

28
but while I am coming, another steps down before me." Jesus said to him,
"Arise, take up your pallet, and walk." And immediately the man became well,
and took up his pallet and began to walk. Now it was the Sabbath on that day.

• ________________ initiated the healing.

• Man’s response is to ________________.

Faith and hope are inseparably linked. We believe and so we hope.

This hope is an exciting expectancy because God is who He says He is.
Therefore, Step 2 is viewed not only as a step of faith but also a step of
_____________________.

Three actions involving faith are clearly seen in this passage.

1. ________________ or ________________ – In the story, the man was

willing to listen to Jesus Christ, which is the truth.

2. _________________________ – Acceptance of the truth should show in

practice, which leads to a change in mindset and becomes evident in
behavior.

3. _________________________ – One commits and yields his life to the

truth. It becomes a part of his very being, his behavior, and his life.

In Step 1, we had to admit our powerlessness because our denial is what

got us into trouble. Through the years, we have been playing god. Even

God. Instead, we transformed our concept of God into forms and images
more comfortable to our corrupt and darkened hearts to suit our own will.

Romans 3:21
For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give
thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart
was darkened.

Our darkened heart causes us to sin repeatedly

satisfaction in substance, relationships and objects, therefore affecting our
behavior.

• The relationship between God and man was disrupted by sin.

• Jesus took the initiative of restoring that relationship.

LESSON 04: HOPE 29

 Romans 5:8–10
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet

His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him. For if
while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of
His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life.

• We must respond to His initiative in faith.

We need to trust that He has done everything necessary to restore and

heal the once-broken relationship between us. The paralyzed man was
not worthy of healing for he did not even know Jesus. Yet, out of His
compassion and mercy, Jesus approached him and told him to rise. He
obeyed by standing, taking his pallet, and walking.

B. HOW DO WE APPLY THIS LESSON?

John 5:14
Afterward, Jesus found him in the temple, and said to him, "Behold, you have
become well; do not sin anymore, so that nothing worse may befall you."

Nothing truly spiritual happens in our lives until God initiates that relationship
with us, just like what He did with the paralyzed man. In another verse in the
Bible, Jesus said:

John 6:44
No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will
raise him up on the last day.

This verse tells us that no one has the ability to come to Christ without God

truth is that unless God opens his mind, nothing will ever come out of his
efforts.

When God opens our mind, genuine repentance is possible because only then
will we realize our depravity. The next step is how we will respond.

• ____________________ comes from the Greek word metanoia, which means

a changing of the mind.

With such awareness comes the realization of sin. Hence, we seek His
forgiveness.

30 GLORIOUS HOPE PARTICIPANT’S WORKBOOK

 • God’s ____________________ is the greatest gift we will ever receive.

God sent Jesus for He is the very reason God forgave us of our sins. Jesus
is our hope, our only hope. We have lived our lives away from God and it
made us miserable. Now it is time we turn to Him because a life without
Jesus is not life at all.

WRITE ABOUT IT

1. Knowing the choices you repeatedly made in the past to cope with your
situation, what could possibly hinder you from believing that Jesus Christ could
indeed restore you to sanity?
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________

2. With the realization that Jesus Christ is for us and that His power can heal us,
what steps are you planning to do in order to experience the healing that God
through Jesus Christ would want you to accomplish in your life?
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________

3. What will you do the next time you experience physical/ emotional hurt and

____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________

LESSON 04: HOPE 31

 STEP 3
“We made a decision to turn our lives and
our wills over to the care of our Lord Jesus
Christ.”

Deuteronomy 30:19
I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life
and death, the blessing and the curse. So choose life in order that you may live,
you and your descendants.

THINK ABOUT IT

Most of us acquired a distorted image of God as a result of our early life

doctrinal statements about Him because these images are rooted in our powerful
emotional experiences.

The process of mending these distorted images involves replacing them with a
biblically accurate imagery of God.

A. GOD AS WE UNDERSTOOD HIM

We all come from dysfunctional families, of which can be found in varying

degrees. Some of us have parents or family members who are emotionally
distant, unreliable, abusive, unrealistic in their expectations, inattentive, or
abandoning. Our experiences with them may have lasted for a short time,

painful experiences confused our mind and shaped our "understanding" of

God.

32
 Romans 1:21–22
Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn’t worship him as God or even give him
thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was like. As
a result, their minds became dark and confused. Claiming to be wise, they
instead became utter fools.

Man's moral decline stemmed from his attempt to reduce God into
"manageable" proportions. One of the most important aspects of recovery
is to change that distorted view of God into an accurate image based on the
Bible. Only then will this translate into a change in behavior.

B. CORRECTING DISTORTION

it developed and then identify the concepts we acquired while growing up and
the feelings that contributed to our wrong view of God.

1. Unrealistic Expectations

a. The God of Impossible Expectations

Children have a tremendous need for approval from parents.

Unfortunately, some parents speak only to correct and criticize. Children
take this negative message in and apply it in their environment, not only
about themselves but also about God. As a result, they see God as one
who is never pleased. His standards impossible and His expectations
beyond reach.

b. The God of __________________ Expectations

Psalm 103:8
The LORD is compassionate and gracious; slow to anger and abounding
in loving kindness. Just as a father has compassion on his children, so
the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him. For He Himself
knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust.

Believing that God expects us to be perfect can make us resent God and
develop a vicious cycle of self-condemnation. We can go into adulthood

even last our whole lifetime. Healing from perfectionism is not an easy
journey.

LESSON 05: DECISION 33

 2. Emotionally Distant

a. The Emotionally Distant God

Many parents successfully provide for physical needs but fail to meet
emotional needs.

b. The God Who ____________________ With Us

He offers us an intimacy with Himself and the emotional closeness we

long for.

Hebrews 4:14–16
…For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our
weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are,
yet without sin…

3. Disinterested

a. The Disinterested God

Parents can be too busy people to stop and listen to their children.
They are full of anxiety about work, money, and relationships. They
work long hours. They are tired. Sometimes they are depressed.

b. The God Who ____________________________

Psalm 139:1–6
O Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know when I sit
down and when I rise up; You understand my thought from afar. You
scrutinize my path and my lying down, and are intimately acquainted
with all my ways. Even before there is a word on my tongue, Behold,
O Lord, You know it all. You have enclosed me behind and before, and
laid Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is
too high, I cannot attain to it.”

Our experience has been that others watch out for our mistakes,
causing us to be fearful of relationships. As defense, we tend to be
critical, judgmental, and skeptical. However, when we learn and realize
that God watches over us to help, protect, and teach us, we learn then
to be gracious and helpful to others.

34 GLORIOUS HOPE PARTICIPANT’S WORKBOOK

4. Abusive

a. The Abusive God

Children silently ask their parents, “Do you love me?” In reply, children
hear violent words from their parents, words convincing them that they
are not lovable, valuable, or capable. Unfortunately, many children
experience abuse instead of affection, and punishment instead of
guidance.

b. God Desires To _____________ Us And Not Harm Us

Matthew 20:30–34
And two blind men sitting by the road, hearing that Jesus was passing
by, cried out, “Lord, have mercy on us, Son of David!" The crowd
sternly told them to be quiet, but they cried out all the more, “Lord,
Son of David, have mercy on us!" And Jesus stopped and called them,
and said, "What do you want Me to do for you?" They said to Him,
"Lord, we want our eyes to be opened." Moved with compassion,
Jesus touched their eyes; and immediately they regained their sight
and followed Him.”

The God of the Bible is not abusive or easily angered. He is moved with
compassion and He is ready to act on our behalf. Jesus’ heart went out
to the blind men and He showed that He was able to suffer with them.

5. Unreliable

a. The Unreliable God

Adults make promises they don’t keep. They get angry when there
seems to be nothing to be angry about. At times, they may be loving,
attentive, and kind; but at other times hostile, inattentive, and unkind.

b. God’s _________________________

Psalm 145:14–16
The LORD sustains all who fall and raises up all who are bowed down.
The eyes of all look to You, and You give them their food in due time.
You open your hand and satisfy the desire of every living thing.

LESSON 05: DECISION 35

 This passage pictures God like a king who faithfully provides for the
people in His kingdom. He has compassion on the people He created
and especially toward those who fail.

6. Abandons

a. The God Who Abandons

For a child, separation, divorce, death, prolonged hospitalization of

a parent, parents’ endless hours at the bar, socializing, and busyness
at work are experiences of abandonment. This can destroy the child’s
sense of security and leave a deep fear that people they love may also
leave them. Out of this insecurity and fear grows an image of a God
who will abandon them.

b. God _________________ His Relationship With Us

The Bible tells us that God will never leave or forsake us, for He is a God
who will be with us until the end.

Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for
the Lord your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or
forsake you.

C. HOW DO WE APPLY THIS LESSON?

To turn our lives and our will over to God is a tough decision to make especially
if we grew up witnessing much dysfunction within our family.

God gave us the Bible to serve as an accurate resource of who He really is.
His word has withstood time and trial as some of the people here in Glorious
Hope can attest to. Given this alternative, we must make a choice because the
output of this lesson is the action we will choose to take. This is also crucial
because our decision will impact the lives of our descendants.

Deuteronomy 30:19
I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you
life and death, the blessing and the curse. So choose life in order that you may
live, you and your descendants.

36 GLORIOUS HOPE PARTICIPANT’S WORKBOOK

 WRITE ABOUT IT

1. What is the hardest thing for you to experience in your relationship with God
today?
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________

2. How is that struggle similar to the feelings you had about your parents when
you were growing up?
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________

3. Finish this sentence: I wish that God were more……

____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________

4. If God were to be what you had wished Him to be, how will it affect your
relationship with Him?
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________

LESSON 05: DECISION 37

 STEP 3
“We made a decision to turn our lives and
our wills over to the care of our Lord Jesus
Christ.”

James 1:14-15
But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed.
Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-
grown, brings forth death.

THINK ABOUT IT

Why do we do what we do? How come two people respond differently towards a
common situation? How can a person give much of what he has to help someone
he doesn't even know while another steals money even from the very poor? What
is the force that drives and shapes our emotions, actions, qualities of life and
ultimately, our destinies?

A. WHAT IS THE SOURCE OF OUR BEHAVIOUR?

Jesus taught us in His Word that everything proceeds from within the heart.

Luke 6:45
The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good;
and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth

We all understand the heart as a vital organ and centre of our physical life but

and attitudes and the centre of personality. It means much more than emotion
and feelings for it also includes the thinking process and particularly the will.

38
 The heart of man is described as _________________________:
• We think we know why we do what we do
• We repeat a particular behavior over and over again.
• There must be a compelling reason why we do what we do.

B. UNDERSTANDING THE HEART

Biblically, the heart itself is everything that goes on inside of us. It helps to break
it down to four levels. As you go down through each level you will observe that
what is more hidden is more powerful and each level is shaped by the ones
under it.

1. _________________ or _________________ level

We are best known by what we do because it comes from the core of who
we are. Lesson 1 exposed our instinctive responses to certain situations in
our life.

2. _________________ level
We unconsciously develop a pattern of making decisions according to our
thoughts and feelings and our heart's mind level has an emotional and
rational brain. The emotional brain reacts while the rational brain weighs
and reasons.

LESSON 06: ACTION 39

 3. _________________ level
We are shaped by the experiences within our family and community and we
have agreeably nurtured and developed some of them in order to protect
us. The lesson on Sanity presented the adoption of various roles one takes
to survive the dysfunctional family system. The components of our identity
are as follows:

• Our Belief System contains how we view reality based on our

interpretations. It may or may not be objectively true, but what matters
is that we believe them to be true.

• Memories are components of our identity characterized by strong

emotional content. If any event in our current life touches our emotional
memory it could trigger a certain action or feeling in us.

• A Vow or Stronghold is a negative sworn statement in response to

some traumatic event in the past that exerts a powerful pull on who we
are or how we are going to live out our life.

4. _________________ level
The innermost level of the heart houses the fundamental, physical and
psychological needs that drive our behavior. The Desire Wheel below
breaks down these basic psychological motivations in 16 categories.

DESIRE WHEEL
Taken from "The Invitation" by Tony Stoltzfus

40 GLORIOUS HOPE PARTICIPANT’S WORKBOOK

• We are drawn to all or some of these desires in varying degrees
• If these desires are not met within our family, we are pushed to seek

• It also brings about an emotional memory that later becomes part of

our belief system which nurses and protects those desires.
• The repeated use of our chosen substitutes unconsciously bring us to a
cycle of insanity as discussed in Lesson 3

Nonetheless, when a situation that strikes close to the unmet desire occurs,
our emotional memory immediately kicks in, and activates the belief system
that tells us how to meet this desire and we act based on that belief. This
creates a pattern of response in our mind that produces our behavior.

This principle is not new for it is clearly stated in the Bible.

James 1:14-15
But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and
enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin,
when it is full-grown, brings forth death.

These legitimate desires became perverted by the dysfunctional family

set up and the world that offers comforting but temporary substitutes. In

path is illustrated below:

ALTERNATIVES/ ADDICTION/
UNMET SIN/
SUBSTISTUTES COMPULSIVE
DESIRES BEHAVIOR
FULFILLMENTS BEHAVIOR

ENTICED/ CONCEIVED/ FULL-GROWN/

ATTRACTS REALIZED MATURE

If anyone wants change in his behaviour, he can try accountability, inner

healing or even dabble in some Scripture. These strategies could work
but the chances of going back to the old pattern are very probable. It
is because we miss the point of addressing the innermost level of the
heart.

LESSON 06: ACTION 41

 C. HOW DO WE APPLY THIS LESSON?

We may try to use discipline as a tool for change. But discipline can only work
effectively when our whole heart is in alignment with our desires, beliefs and
emotional memories pulling in the same direction as our will.

Taking our current situation and it with similar events

in our memory bank resurfaces the same emotions as we do our workbook
assignments. A different experience within the Step Study Group gives way to
a new interpretation of our past as we gain a healthier belief system.

make. We need to turn our lives and our wills over to His care through Jesus
Christ. We have made false gods out of the world, wrong relationship and
everything in it and we have insanely ignored the one true God.

John 7:38
38

rivers of living water.”

behavior. Adam and Eve chose to separate themselves from the life-connection
and made themselves slaves to their own twisted desires. This is the effect of
sin and the false pretense that we are in total control.

It is good to realize that our denial of that life-connection lead us to a spiral

downward cycle. God’s plan is not merely focused on changing our behavior
but rather on restoring that life connection through Jesus Christ who is the
power source that will bring us back to life. We encourage you to stay connected

will only mean despair as you try to meet your needs your way and end up with
nothing.

42 GLORIOUS HOPE PARTICIPANT’S WORKBOOK

 WRITE ABOUT IT

unmet desires that have been distorted through time and replace them with a heart that desires a “simple, powerful and
liberating” relationship with God through Jesus Christ Himself.

“What Action or “What strong “What memory of “With reference “What does that
Behavior do you emotions do you your past involved to your answer in response give you if you cannot
repeatedly do in feel when this that same feeling? column 1and 2, how you? What can it respond the
time of stress or happens that make Where/when did do you really want do to you or the way you want to
pressure? you decide to you start to feel to respond to those situation?” respond? What do
behave that way?” that way?” emotions whenever you fear losing if
they happen? you cannot respond
this way?”

I experience stress I feel humiliated and Whenever I made I would like to give Withdrawing from If I will not distance
or pressure when embarrassed because mistake, my parents explanations to prove people protects me myself from them,
people question I presume that they would embarrass them wrong but when from embarrassment then I have to face
or give negative are degrading my me and call me I did, it only made and humiliation. I up to the possibility
comments regarding personality. names like “tangga” situations worse. And don’t have to explain of embarrassment
my work, and I have a “stupido” “bobo” in so I distanced myself anything to anyone each time. Their
tendency to withdraw front of my siblings from these people and just hope those perception of me
and become hostile and sometimes and learned to be people forget all will become worse
towards them. cousins. It was very alone. about it. and they would not
LESSON 06: ACTION

degrading and respect me anymore.

humiliating for me.
43
“What Action or “What strong “What memory of “With reference “What does that
Behavior do you emotions do you your past involved to your answer in response give you if you cannot
repeatedly do in feel when this that same feeling? column 1and 2, how you? What can it respond the
time of stress or happens that make Where/when did do you really want do to you or the way you want to
pressure? you decide to you start to feel to respond to those situation?” respond? What do
behave that way?” that way?” emotions whenever you fear losing if
they happen? you cannot respond
this way?”

GLORIOUS HOPE PARTICIPANT’S WORKBOOK

44
 BASIC FUNDAMENTAL DESIRES
The idea of the 16 fundamental desires originated from Tony Stoltzfus, in his book
The Invitation. The underlying idea is that we all share common human desires, but
our individual differences lie in the way we behaviorally express those desires and the
degree of importance we place on them.

Basic Fundamental Our Goal-oriented Behaviors

Desire
Justice The desire for justice is accompanied by a
yearning to confront those who offend others.
It may feel relatively unimportant for some
that when offended, they render forgiveness
because of lack of assertiveness or fear of

lives dominated by a desire to get even at

the expense of meeting personal goals and
allowing internal space for happiness.
ACHIEVEMENT

Challenge This represents a hunger for knowledge

(Hunger for for subjects that inspire passion with a
Knowledge) deep curiosity to understand the world and
CATEGORIES

stimulation, thrill or inspiration.

but they vary in how they are prioritized.

Some can be more concerned with his social
status while others are content with simply
being respected by others with whom he
feels he has a connection.

Freedom Accompanied by feelings of self- reliance and

autonomy, this desire for freedom is common
to all of us. Some people may express it by
learning various skills that allow them to rely
less on others and thus believe in their ability
to complete tasks and accomplish goals.
Others express this desire by seeking support
from within themselves rather than others.

LESSON 06: ACTION 45

 Worth Our desire for self-worth is driven by our
knowledge that we are of value, loveable
and necessary. In other words, self-worth is
about who you are, not about what you do.
Differentiated from self-esteem which is how
you feel about yourself based on your actions,
self-worth has a much more spiritual bend to
it because it is directly related to your identity,
your sense of self, your overall feeling of
importance and value in this world.

Be Known We all want someone to know us,

acknowledge us and realize that we exist
to be loved and respected. That someone
can be our parents, spouse, boss, friend
or the society in general. The need to be
known is not about popularity or fame, but
CONNECTION

rather the human desire for connection and

CATEGORIES

acknowledgement.

Joy We all have an undeniable, natural tendency

are bent on pursuing earthly goals and

accomplishment not knowing that this only
leads to happiness and not true joy. Joy stays
while happiness comes and goes. Joy is a
settled state of mind and an orientation of the

hope.

Love While love points to family and romance

(Romance) to sex which is a strategy to meet a
psychological need and not a need in itself,
many of these desires are interestingly
intertwined. However, we must understand
that love that comes from fear is not love —
it's neediness.

46 GLORIOUS HOPE PARTICIPANT’S WORKBOOK

 Belonging The desire implies the establishment of a
close, caring and intimate relationship with
emotional depth. This may include the need
to be connected and accepted by your
family, peer group, church group or in your
community.

Comfort People have a natural desire for comfort.

When lost or confused, they focus on ideas
and places that will represent “home” to
them. Comfort is the absence of stress,
pressure, expectation and inconvenience.
We get really irritated and become frustrated
when we are not comfortable.

Security Everyone fears losing love and being rejected

or abandoned that is why we all desire
CATEGORIES
STABILITY

security in any relationship. Insecurity drives

people to become too 'clingy' or needy and
this creates problems. People with secure
attachment styles do not have a hard time
trusting that others can love and support
them. Thus they show more empathy in their
relationships and communicate their feelings
more easily.

Peace The desire for peace wants to be free from

anxiety, pain, and fear. Depending on the
individual and how one conceptualizes
“peace,” this desire may manifest itself in
different behavioral expressions. For example,
two people may have equally strong drives
for peace, but one person may indulge in
substances to avoid anxiety, pain, or fear
whereas another may choose to practice yoga
or engage in self-care activities.

LESSON 06: ACTION 47

 Come Through The desire to come through empowers us
(Succeed) to meet the challenges of life and compels

A certain degree of restlessness pushes us

Goodness This is thought to originate from a

(Idealism) foundational drive for goodness. It may be
expressed behaviourally through the practice
of concern for the welfare of others or
through giving one’s time, energy, or goods
to others who are perceived to be in need.
COMPETENCE
CATEGORIES

Recognition It is human nature to desire recognition and

to want to look better. When that desire
seizes control of us, it is easy to lose sight
of who we are and what our real purpose is.
The drive towards our desire for recognition
is often connected with our need to be seen
positively by individuals or groups that are
important to us like family and community.

Approval This concept extends beyond feeling

accepted by the family and society for it
involves self-acceptance also. When we
deny, reject or belittle parts of ourselves we
deprive ourselves of internal peace and self-

48 GLORIOUS HOPE PARTICIPANT’S WORKBOOK

 FEELING WORDS VOCABULARY
One of the common obstacles why we cannot express ourselves articulately is that
people have limited emotional or feelings vocabulary. We practically don’t know what
to call things we are experiencing inside. This chart will help you identify some possible
words so you can choose between several options instead of depending on some
people to tell you what you should feel.
WHEN NEEDS ARE NOT BEING MET WHEN NEEDS ARE BEING MET
Hostile Exhilarate
Animosity, Antagonistic, Appalled, Ecstatic, Elated, Enthralled, Exuberant,
Aversion, Cold, Contempt, Disgusted, Giddy, Silly, Slap-happy

Repulsed, Scorn, Surly, Vengeful,

Vindictive
Angry
Enraged, Frustrated, Furious, Incensed,
Indignant, Irate, Irrational, Jealous, Livid,
Mad, Outraged, Resentful, Ticked off
Peaceful
At rest, Blissful, Calm, Centered, Clear
Mellow, Quiet, Relaxed, Serene, Tranquil

Annoyed
Aggravated, Bitter, Cranky, Cross,
Dismayed, Disgruntled, Displeased,
Exasperated, Frustrated, Grouchy,
Impatient, Irked, Irritated, Miffed,
Peeved, Resentful, Sullen, Uptight
Upset
Agitated, Alarmed, Discombobulated,
Disconcerted, Disturbed, Disquieted,
Perturbed, Rattled, Restless, Troubled,
Turbulent, Turmoil, Uncomfortable,
Uneasy, Unnerved, Unsettled
Excited
Alive, Amazed, Animated, Eager, Energetic,
Enthusiastic, Invigorated, Lively, Passionate
Inspired
Amazed, Astonished, Awed, Dazzled,
Radiant, Rapturous, Surprised, Thrilled,
Uplifted, Wonder
Joyful
Amused, Buoyant, Delighted, Elated,
Ecstatic, Glad, Gleeful, Happy, Jubilant,
Merry, Mirthful, Overjoyed, Pleased, Radiant,
Tickled

Tense Relaxed
Antsy, Anxious, Bitter, Distressed, At ease, Carefree, Comfortable, Open
Distraught, Edgy, Fidgety, Frazzled,
Irritable, Jittery, Nervous, Overwhelmed,
Pressured, Restless, Stressed out,
Uneasy

LESSON 06: ACTION 49

 Afraid
Apprehensive, Anxious, Concerned,
Dread, Fearful, Fore bonding,
Frightened, Hesitant, Mistrustful,
Trepidation, Unnerved, Wary, Worried,
Reserved, Sensitive, Shaky, Unsteady,
Vulnerable
Cautious, Fragile, Guarded, Helpless,
Insecure, Leery, Reluctant
Confused
Perplexed, Puzzled, Skeptical, Stressed,
Superior, Torn
Embarrassed
Ashamed, Chagrined, Contrite, Guilty,
Remorse, Regretful, Self-conscious
Longing
Envious, Jealous, Nostalgic, Pining,
Wistful, Yearning
Tired
Beat, Burned out, Depleted, Exhausted,
Fatigued, Lethargic, Listless, Sleepy,
Weary, Worn out
Disconnected
Alienated, Aloof, Apathetic, Bored,
Cold, Detached, Disengaged,
Disinterested, Distant, Distracted,
Indifferent, Lethargic, Listless,
Lonely, Numb, Removed, Shut down,
Uninterested, Withdrawn
Sad
Blue, Crushed, Dejected, Depressed,
Despair, Despondent, Disappointed,
Discouraged, Disheartened, Downcast,
Downhearted, Forlorn, Gloomy, Grief,
Heavy hearted, Hopeless, Sorrow,
Unhappy
50 GLORIOUS HOPE PARTICIPANT’S WORKBOOK
Curious
Adventurous, Alert, Interested, Intrigued,
Inquisitive, Fascinated, Spellbound,
Stimulated
Hopeful
Anticipating, Believing, Eager, Encouraged,
Optimistic, Patient, Wonder
Empowered, Proud, Safe, Secure,
Self-assured
Engaged
Absorbed, Alert, Ardent, Curious,
Engrossed, Enchanted, Entranced, Involved
Hopeful
Expectant, Encouraged, Optimistic
Grateful
Appreciative, Moved, Thankful, Touched
Refreshed
Enlivened, Rejuvenated, Renewed, Rested,
Restored, Revived, Energetic
Affectionate
Alert, Closeness, Compassionate, Curious,
Exhilarated, Fascinated, Friendly, Inspired,
Loving, Openhearted, Passionate,
Sympathetic, Tender, Thrilled, Trusting,
Warm
Joyful
Festive, Grateful, Happy, Jubilant, Lucky,
 Shocked Relieved
Complacent, Composed, Cool, Trusting

Pain Content
Agony, Anguished, Bereaved, Glad, Cheerful,
Devastated, Heartbroken, Hurt,
Miserable, Wretched
Safe
Hurt Comforted, Intimate, Relief,
Heart broken, Victimized Secure, Trusting

Inadequate Powerful
Confused, Failure, Failure, Giving up,
Helpless, Powerless, Vulnerable, Courageous, Free
Worn out

Unloved Loved
Hated, Left out, Lonely, Rejected, Ugly, Affection, Cherished, Connected, Embraced,
Unheard, Unknown, Worthless Empathy, Pursued, Tenderness

Wrong Approved
Ashamed, Broken, Dirty, Embarrassed,
Guilty, Remorseful Respected, Valuable

LESSON 06: ACTION 51

 REFERENCES
John Baker, Celebrate Recovery Leader’s Guide, Grand Rapids, Michigan:
Zondervan, 1998

Martin Davis, The Gospel and the Twelve Steps, RPI Publications, Inc. ISBN
0-941405-31-1

Dale and Juanita Ryan, The Life Recovery Guide series, originally published by
InterVarsity Press (ISBN 0-8308-1152-4), 1992

Dale and Juanita Ryan, Recovery from Distorted Images of God, Originally
published by InterVarsity Press (ISBN 0-8308-1152-4). 1992

Dale Ryan, A Spiritual Kindergarten, An Introduction to the Twelve Steps, Soft

cover, Christian Recovery International, ISBN 0941405230 (0-941405-23-0) , 1999

© 1987 - 2005 www.Step12.com - From: 4th Step Workshop with Dallas B. Last
update: 7/06/05

Dr. Tina B. Tessina, It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction, Franklin
Lake, NS,New Page Books, A Division of Career Press , 2003

Warner Barker, Eddie Rosnake, Richard Sheperd, Life Principles from the Old
Testament, Chattanoga, TN, AMC publications,

Bruce Wilkinson, Secret of the Vines, Thomas Nelson, Inc.

Patrick M. Murley, The Man in the Mirror, Zondervan, 2003

Createspace Independent Pub, 2015, ISBN 1508633622, 9781508633624

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are from the HOLY
BIBLE, NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE,

52 GLORIOUS HOPE PARTICIPANT’S WORKBOOK

The Glorious Hope Recovery Program is a series
composed of three workbooks:

Participants Workbook 1 deals with the shedding of our old self, that is the
reason why the color of the workbook is orange. This part of the program helps
us to acknowledge that we are not god and that there is a God who is powerful
yet loving and compassionate who wants to heal us. This workbook needs to be

part of the program.

Participants Workbook 2 deals with our growth that is why the color of the
workbook is green. The shedding of our old self will allow the new self to grow.
Growing involves discovering the truth that is hidden in us, the resentments that
we still keep, our distorted fear, our false guilt, our false sense of shame, and our
sexual conduct. It assesses the character that formed in us throughout all this years
and evaluates our relationship with people leading to reconciliation. This part of
the program is necessary in order to prepare us for service.

Participants Workbook 3 deals with service that is why the color of the workbook

on our transformed life. This we can only accomplished if we know the purpose of
our life, why we where created. Knowing our purpose will helps us prioritize what is
important. Knowing what is important will lead us to our mission in life.

The systematic and progressive approach of this program in recovery is not

achieved in one run. Rather this program is a continuing journey that one adopts
as a lifestyle.

53
 Step Study Guidelines
1. Keep sharing focused on own thoughts, feelings, and actions (use “I”
statements) and limit sharing to 3–5 minutes.
2. Be sensitive to the person speaking—no cross talk during the speaker’s time of
sharing.
3.
4.
group.
5. Do not use offensive language—such has no place in a Christ-centered recovery
program.
6. Avoid graphic descriptions.
7. Absolutely no materials outside of the Glorious Hope Program—such materials
include curriculum from other recovery programs, books, essays, poems,
etc. from Christian and non-Christian authors regarding recovery to prevent
potential problems of cult-related information and non-biblical teaching.
8. Refrain from Christian-speak, spiritualizing, or making comments on practices
and doctrines of other faiths—focus on Scriptures alone.
9.
or volunteer.
10. No business transaction during and within Glorious Hope Program activities.
11. ALL cellular phones must be on SILENT MODE or turned off if possible while
sessions are ongoing. Likewise, the use of other gadgets like tablets and
laptops are not allowed.
12. No children during the discussion sessions.
13. Participants are strongly encouraged to answer all questions in the Participant’s
Workbook before the session—recovery comes from honestly and diligently
answering the assigned questions.
14. Participants must always come on time for step study sessions. A grace period
of 30 minutes is given. Anyone coming later may no longer be able to join the
group and may have to join the open share in the meantime.

54 GLORIOUS HOPE PARTICIPANT’S WORKBOOK

55
info.glorioushope@gmail.com

facebook.com/ghprogram

www.glorioushope.com.ph

Christ’s Commission Fellowship

Frontera Verde, Ortigas Avenue corner C5 Road,
Pasig City, Philippines 1604
(+632) 866 9985
www.ccf.org.ph