Brain-Based-Coaching - CoachingToolkit - ParticipantManual

Coaching Toolkit
Participant Manual
Brain-Based Coaching Certificate | Part 3

© NeuroLeadership Institute (NLI) 2015. All rights reserved.
Brain-Based Coaching Toolkit Participant Manual | Brain-Based Coaching Certificate, Part 3. SCARF® is a registered trademark owned by Dr David
Rock and used under license by NLI.
This manual and the coaching techniques described in it, are furnished under license and may be used or copied in accordance with the terms of
such license. The license granted allows participants who enroll in an NLI program to utilise the models and tools within this manual for one-on-one
coaching or coaching small groups, either externally or internally in an organisation. The models cannot be taught or supplied to others without
permission. The approach to coaching contained in this manual cannot be sold to an organisation directly or indirectly except where a coach is
delivering one to one or small group coaching themselves.
The information is furnished for informational use only, is subject to change without notice, and should not be construed as a commitment by NLI or
its subsidiaries. NLI assumes no responsibility or liability for any errors or inaccuracies that may appear in this manual.
All writing, artwork, and images in this manual are protected under international copyright law. The unauthorised incorporation of such artwork or
information into any new work could be a violation of the rights of the author. Please be sure to obtain any permission required from NeuroLeadership
Institute International prior to any usage.
Written by Results Coaching Systems International, GPO Box 395 Sydney NSW 2001 Australia.
Table of Contents
Orientation: 4 Module 10: Purpose and Values 18 Module 14: 49
About Coaching Toolkit Making Great Decisions
Introduction 18
Program Overview 4 Introduction 49
Theoretical Underpinnings 18
Goal Hierarchies 19
ICF Competencies 5
Using the Clarity of Distance 50
for Coaching Toolkit “Why” Versus “How” 19
to Make Great Decisions
Defining a Purpose 20
Decision Making Tools 52
Module 9: Coaching for Change 6 Values Assessment 21
Introduction 6 Module 15: 56

Module 11: Coaching For Balance 27 Coaching Through Conflict
The Importance of 7 Introduction 27 Introduction 56
Creating a Toward State Theoretical Underpinnings 27 Theoretical Underpinnings 56
Facilitating New Insights 7 The Healthy Mind Platter 27 Common Causes of Conflict 57
Commit to Action 8 Healthy Mind Platter Worksheet 32 Working with all Stages of Conflict 59
Follow up to Build Habits 8 Wheel of Balance 33
The Habit Conversation 9 Module 16: Building Awareness 64
Working from a Growth Mindset 12 Module 12: Personal Productivity 35 Introduction 64

Growth Mindset Worksheet 12 Introduction 35 Theoretical Underpinnings 64
SCARF® and Change 15 Theoretical Underpinnings 35 Ideas for Working with Coachees 66
Diagnostic Tools 16 Personal Productivity Tools 38 Awareness Tools 66
Module 13: Confidence Coaching 44
Introduction 44
Power Poses 45
Tools and Application 45
Orientation:
About Coaching Toolkit
Program Overview
PROGRAM OBJECTIVE CONCEPT BEHIND THE COURSE
The aim of the Coaching Toolkit modules is to As we become more experienced as coaches we
increase the ability of participants to deepen the look for ways to give coachees more extraordinary
coaching experience through the timely and results with greater ease. This course is designed to
appropriate application of tools. deepen and expand your understanding of elements
introduced earlier in the program, and also to
LEARNING OUTCOMES introduce new processes and tools specifically aimed
at giving coachees deeper insights, new awareness
Participants will:
or breakthroughs in the journey towards their goals.
1 Understand the theoretical basis of introducing We will also review existing tools that are in common
tools within coaching sessions. use, and look at how neuroscience can help us work
2 Significantly increase their ability to facilitate self with them in more brain-friendly ways.
and coachee awareness.
PRE-REQUISITES
3 Appropriately apply tools to increase coaching
Coaching Toolkit is part of the Brain-Based Coaching
effectiveness in a variety of contexts.
Certificate program offered by the NeuroLeadership
Institute (NLI). Participants are required, therefore,
to have completed Brain-Based Conversation
Skills and Brain-Based Coaching Engagements (or
equivalent) before joining the Coaching Toolkit
component of the program. In addition, participants
are recommended to be coaching a minimum of two
coachees as they come onto the course.
4
© NeuroLeadership Institute 2015 Coaching Toolkit Participant Manual
ICF Competencies
for Coaching Toolkit
3. Establishing trust and 8. Creating awareness
intimacy with a client Ability to integrate and accurately evaluate
multiple sources of information, and to make
Ability to create a safe, supportive environment
interpretations that help the client to gain
that produces ongoing mutual respect and
awareness and thereby achieve agreed-upon
trust
results
• Shows genuine concern for the client’s welfare
a Goes beyond what is said in assessing client’s
and future
concerns, not getting hooked by the client’s
• Continuously demonstrates personal integrity, description
honesty, and sincerity
b Invokes inquiry for greater understanding,
• Establishes clear agreements and keeps promises
awareness and clarity
• Demonstrates respect for the client’ perceptions,
learning styles, personal being c Identifies for the client his/her underlying
concerns, typical and fixed ways of perceiving
• Champions and provides ongoing support for himself/herself and the world, differences
new behaviours and actions
between the facts and the interpretation,
• Asks permission to coach the client in sensitive, disparities between thoughts, feelings,
new areas. and action
d Helps clients to discover for themselves the
new thoughts, beliefs, perceptions, emotions,
4. Coaching presence moods, etc. that strengthen their ability to take
Ability to be fully conscious and create action and achieve what is important to them
spontaneous relationship with the client,
employing a style that is open, flexible and e Communicates broader perspectives to
confident clients and inspires commitment to shift their
viewpoints and find new possibilities for action
a Is present and flexible during the coaching
process, dancing in the moment f Helps clients to see the different, interrelated
factors that affect them and their behaviours
b Accesses own intuition and trusts one’s inner (e.g., thoughts, emotions, body, background)
knowing—“goes with the gut”
g Expresses insights to clients in ways that are
c Is open to not knowing and takes risks useful and meaningful for the client
d Sees many ways to work with the client, and h Identifies major strengths vs. major areas
chooses in the moment what is most effective for learning and growth, and what is most
e Uses humour effectively to create lightness important to address during coaching
and energy i Asks the client to distinguish between trivial
f Confidently shifts perspectives and experiments and significant issues, situational vs. recurring
with new possibilities for own action behaviours, when detecting a separation
between what is being stated and what is
g Demonstrates confidence in working with strong
being done.
emotions, and can self-manage and not be
overpowered or enmeshed by client’s emotions.
5
Module 9:
Coaching for Change
Introduction
Welcome to the final component of the Brain- saying, “The only thing that is constant is change.”
Based Coaching Certificate. We refer to these eight This is true for many of us in both the workplace and
modules as Coaching Toolkit. In each module, we in our personal lives. Therefore the ability to adapt
highlight the NeuroLeadership theory that underpins to change—and even to embrace it—is a desirable
the focus of the module, and then introduce one or one. In this module, we revisit what the brain needs
more tools to support your work with your coachees. to change, and how habits are formed. We introduce
We also look at different ways to work with those a coaching conversation model that can be used to
tools, depending on the coaching context. raise a coachee’s awareness of the need for change,
and we also look at how to work with popular
To begin this final part of the program we look at a
change tools in a brain-friendly way.
concept that is at the core of coaching: Change. The
Greek philosopher Heraclitus has been credited with
Theoretical Underpinnings Follow up

to build
In Brain-Based Conversation Skills, we introduced a HABIT
framework capturing what the brain needs to change:
Commit to
ACTION
Facilitate
INSIGHT
Create a
TOWARD
state
6
The Importance of Creating a Toward State
As we know, a toward-response supports us to see more options, choices, and opportunities, and allows us to
take in more information. We are also more able to collaborate with others. These are all essential elements of
being able to change.
The opposite is true for away responses; you see fewer options, choices and opportunities, and your ability to
take in information becomes limited.
Our role as coaches is to help our coachees think about the change in ways that encourage positive emotions,
and minimise any away-state emotions that will get in the way of the progress towards change.
This is where the SCARF model can really help as we help to build a picture of the future, where the value of the
change is clear and real for them.
AWAY THREAT TOWARD REWARD

STATUS
CERTAINTY
AUTONOMY
RELATEDNESS
FAIRNESS
Threat Is Stronger Reward Is Better
STATUS CERTAINTY AUTONOMY RELATEDNESS FAIRNESS

Less than or better Ability to predict Sense of In-group or Perception of
than others outcomes control out-group fair exchange
Facilitating New Insights ion

iss ement
You are becoming increasingly proficient at m Plac
r
Pe
facilitating conversations that generate insights.

As we know, insights generate energy and motivation
to act, and also help embed new wiring and sustain
learning.
The Dance
To help facilitate insight during change you can focus of Insight™
ng
conversations at the level of vision, come from a

ifyi
in g
solutions focus, and support the coachee to adopt a

ar
growth mindset. As always, the Dance of Insight is at

l
tio
C
the heart of insightful conversations.
es
Qu
7
Commit to Action
Getting into action is a key part of the change process. When coachees take actions that stretch them to try
doing things in new ways. They start to build new wiring. The CREATE model helps us move coachees from
problem to insight and through to action.
Thinking
Questions
C R E A T E
Current Reality Explore Alternatives Tap Energy
Follow up to Build Habits model delivers all three of the keys to developing
habits, and used over time helps turn one-time
We know new habits take time to become fully actions into long-term behaviours.
automatic, which means people will default back
to their old way of thinking and behaving without Later in this module we look at a new way to use the
sustained focus. As a reminder, the three keys to REVIEW model to work with habits. For now, let’s
helping habits stick are positive feedback, attention, look at a process for discussing the need for habit
and repetition. formation with a coachee.
In Brain-Based Conversation Skills we introduced

two follow up tools to build habits. The first
was Implementation intentions, which help Reality
bridge the gap between intention and behaviour.
Implementation intentions serve as contingency Emotion
plans—“If x happens, then I will do y.” When we want Validate
to avoid falling back on old wiring implementation
intentions serve as an “instant habit,” guiding us what Insights
to do instead.
Expand
The second is the REVIEW model, a conversation
framework for following up on actions. The REVIEW
What’s Next?
8
The Habit Conversation
Part of our role as coaches is to help our coachees step up from the detail of their lives and notice the broader
patterns that either help them, or impede them, from reaching their goals. This conversation map helps a
coachee to explore a habit that is getting in the way of their success, and looks at ways to introduce new, more
useful habits.
Some unhelpful habits are obvious, and some emerge into awareness during the coaching process. At times, we
may need to press pause on the standard flow of our coaching sessions to have an in-depth conversation about
a specific habit with a coachee. It might be that they realise a particular habit is having a significant impact on
their work and life. Or, if a deep level of trust is present, you might ask permission to point out a habit you have
noticed and offer them the opportunity to explore its impact.
The following is a five-step model for working with habits at a deep level.
STEP 1: AWARENESS OF THE HABIT
Changing habits starts with awareness. At times a coachee will spontaneously become aware of a habit as part
of the coaching process. At other times the coach might ask the coachee to try reframing a problem or an issue
as a habit, then, have them identify what that habit is.
For example: “If you could define the issue as a habit, what would it be?”
Sometimes the coach will notice conversations returning to a familiar pattern and offer feedback on the habits
they’re observing, after first asking permission.
For example: “Can I share an observation on something I’ve noticed happening?”
Ask the coachee to be specific about the pattern or habit that you are exploring. Support them to define the
habit in as few words as possible.
For example:
• “What would be the name for that habit?”
• “How would you say it in one sentence?”
Examples of habits
• “Speaking before I think”
• “I get scared, then quit.”
9
STEP 2: THE IMPACT OF A HABIT • “What’s your thinking about the impact this is
having on you?”
• “Where else is it impacting your life? How?”
Getting clear on the coachee’s thinking about the
impact of a habit can alter their relationship to it. • “How is it affecting your career? Your self-esteem?
Explore with the coachee on how far-reaching the Your relationships?”
effects are and take time to move beyond their first, If a coachee is not clear on the extent of the impact,
most obvious answers. they may not fully commit to change. Ensure the
For example: A coachee who has a habit of quitting focus in this part of the conversation stays at a high
may realise: level—be careful not to get stuck in detail, problem,
or drama. Keep it light and focused on the coachee’s
“Every time I started a new job, I did well for a while thinking.
until the work got to be too much to handle. I felt out
of control and decided to quit. Eventually I went back The coachee may like to take this further by creating
to work in retail.” actions to monitor impact:
When a coachee really gets in touch with the extent • “Count how many times this week I avoid talking to
to which habits have created their world, it can lead people I don’t like.”
to powerful insights. • “Put a check mark on my whiteboard every time I
feel like quitting.”
STEP 3: COMMITMENT TO CHANGE
Change takes attention, effort, and time—and it can be feel quite uncomfortable. Help the coachee enter a toward
state by focusing on their vision. Ask questions to get clear on the possible impact if the coachee changed this habit:
• “What would it be like if you could change this habit?”

• “How would your life be if you could create a new
habit in this area?”
It is also important to establish agreement with the
coachee that this is the right time to build a new habit, 1. Vision
and that they have in fact agreed to make the change.
Before going any further, get the coachee’s 100% buy-in.
Create an opportunity for the coachee to completely and 2. Planning
consciously choose change:
“How willing do you feel to build a new habit, on a scale
of 1 to 10?” 3. Detail
“How realistic is it to make this change at this time?”
“What would you need to feel 100% confident you 4. Problem
will succeed?”
5. Drama
10
STEP 4: DEFINE THE HABIT AND TAKE STEP 5: SUPPORT THE GROWTH OF
ACTION THE NEW HABIT
Work with the coachee to identify the changes

they would like to make and then support them by In subsequent conversations the coach works with
creating specific actions. the coachee to keep the change process moving.
• “What’s the new habit you’d like to create? What For example: “What else could you do to further
name would you give it?” embed this new habit you’re developing?”
• “If you could start doing something, what would it A key part of supporting the growth of a new habit
be?” is to build in reward during the process. You want to
have small, regular rewards that give the coachee
• “Which implementation intention would support
hits of dopamine. Keeping a focus on the small wins
the growth of this new habit?”
helps them stay motivated until the action becomes
For example: “Every time I think of quitting, read habit, and independent of the reward. Reward is the
my vision,” or “Do the difficult tasks first thing in key mechanism for turning one-time actions into
the morning.” repeated behaviour patterns.
Which habit would you like to change?
In the coaching practice session what worked well for you as coachee?
What will you need to keep in mind as coach when you work with habits?
11
Working from a Growth Mindset
One of the keys to facilitating change is supporting the coachee to
hold a growth mindset. We introduced this concept in Brain-Based
Conversation Skills.
Put simply, a growth mindset means a person believes intelligence and
talent can be developed over time, and that they are open to learning
and stretching.
A fixed mindset, in contrast, is based on the assumption that talent and
ability are fixed. This leads to risk avoidance and resistance to change.
Most people hold a combination of fixed and growth mindset beliefs,
and may not be consciously aware of these. The tool below is a
powerful way to identify existing unhelpful beliefs and adopt new
beliefs that support change.
Growth Mindset Worksheet

STEP 1: Tick the statement from each pair that feels most correct to you at this time:
Intelligence and talent are static and can’t be changed I am motivated by approval

Intelligence and talent can be developed I am motivated by mastery

Constructive feedback means I have done a bad job I like to do things I am good at

Constructive feedback is a chance to learn I like to do things that allow me to learn

Stretching beyond my comfort zone is risky The success of others feels like a threat

Stretching beyond my comfort zone is a way I can learn from the success of others

to improve my abilities
LFrom the list above, choose the belief that you feel is least helpful in your work or life.
List any other beliefs that might be limiting your growth:
12
STEP 2. Question your belief
List 3-5 reasons or pieces of evidence that this belief might not be true.
STEP 3. Choose your new belief

Brainstorm 3-5 new beliefs that you might like to have instead.
Identify one that would like to work on now.

Try the belief on for size. How would you be at work with this belief?
How would you be in social situations?
How would this belief make you feel?
How would you handle the toughest situation you can imagine if you had this belief?
13
What else is different?
What is now possible in your life?
STEP 4. Embed your new belief

List 3 ways you can remind yourself of this new belief.
1
Write down how and when you will practice it this week.
NOTE: This Worksheet is based on Carol Dweck’s work. For more, visit her website mindsetonline.com.
When would you use this tool?
14
SCARF® and Change
Once the coachee has committed to change, the SCARF model can be used to help predict potential threats,
and mitigate any threats that arise during the change process. A simple worksheet can support this process.
Step one: Take each element of the SCARF model and consider the potential threats that may occur from the
planned or existing changes.
Step two: How could you turn the threat into a reward?
Example: A coachee has decided to start up his own business, but isn’t completing his actions session after
session. Identifying potential SCARF threats helps provide self-awareness and allows him to reconnect with
the goal.
SCARF DOMAIN POTENTIAL SCARF THREAT POTENTIAL SCARF REWARD

Identifying a series of
Currently highly regarded in his
Status benchmarks for him to work
organisation
towards
Concerned about the impact
Creating certainty with a budget
Certainty of going from a salary to being
and financial plan
responsible for his own income
Might need to take on work
Identifying his vision and values
he doesn’t really want to do in
Autonomy and making business decisions
order to build the business and
based on those
generate cash flow
Worried about losing
relationships with colleagues Establishing a regular monthly
Relatedness
that he has built over the last catch up with his network
ten years
Concerned about the amount
of work he will have to put into Setting clear boundaries around
Fairness
building the business and the working hours
impact on his family
Please refer to the SCARF and Change Worksheet on the participant resource page.
15
Diagnostic Tools
Another way to coach around change is with the use Emotion:
of diagnostic tools. • How do you feel about these results? (It can
There is a vast and ever-growing array of diagnostic be useful here to normalise the emotions by
tools on the market. These include personality reminding the person it is common to have strong
profiling tools such as the MBTI; behavioural profiling feelings in this situation).
tools such as DISC and LSI; cultural assessments,
leadership assessments, team surveys, conflict Validate:
assessment tools, brain profiling, cognitive testing, • Which strengths stand out to you from these results?
values assessment, strengths assessments, and more.
• What are you most proud of?
Their common purpose is to raise awareness, with
the intention of giving the person a wider choice in Insights:
how they respond to situations and helping them
• What surprises you about these results?
make positive changes.
• What part of these results resonates for you?
Even if you are not certified to formally debrief the
tool, you may need to interact with them from time • What key messages have stayed with you since
to time as a coach. The purpose of this section is not you first looked at your report?
to explore individual tools, but rather to look at the
• What have you learned about yourself?
value we can bring as a brain-based coach in helping
people raise awareness whilst maintaining a toward
state. Expand:
• What are the implications of these results?
The REVIEW model provides an excellent roadmap
for this conversation. One of the challenges around • How could the insights you’re having apply
diagnostic tools is that they have great potential to more broadly?
trigger a threat state in the subject, so it is particularly
important that we ask permission before we discuss What’s Next:
the person’s results, and that we establish their • How could you bring more of your strengths into
desired outcome for the conversation as part of the everyday?
placement. Then, we focus on the person’s strengths
and help them stay in a toward state so we facilitate • What do you want to do differently based on
insight. these results?
• In what areas do you have the most energy around
QUESTIONS TO GET STARTED: taking action?
Reality: • What implementation intentions might support you

to build new habits?
• What was your motivation for doing the assessment?
• Looking at your results, what stands out for you?
Reality
Emotion
Validate
Insights
Expand
What’s Next?
16
Notes
17
Module 10:
Purpose and Values
Introduction
Goal pursuit is all the more powerful when your purpose and values are aligned with your goal. In his book
Good to Great, Jim Collins talks about the concept of core ideology, which is the combination of values and
purpose. His proposition is that the more aware an individual is of the values and sense of purpose that he or
she has developed over the years as unconscious drivers of behaviour, the more likely he or she is to make
choices and set goals that are solidly grounded.1
In this module, we look at how to support coachees to define their purpose and values so their goals stay
motivating for the long haul.
Theoretical Underpinnings
We introduced the AIM model in Brain-Based Coaching Engagements. The paper AIM: An Integrative Model
of Goal Pursuit2 posits that one of the key elements missing from well known goal-pursuit frameworks like
SMART is that they only cover the “nuts and bolts” of how to construct a goal, whilst overlooking the emotional
component. Neuroscience research tells us successful goal achievement is more likely if it is not only well
thought out, but also appealing and motivating.
So, how to do we add the element of motivation? In the first part of this program, we looked at the importance
of defining an inspiring vision as part of the goal-setting process. In their paper, Berkman and Rock suggest
motivation is further enhanced when the coachee is able to connect their goal to their sense of self. This can be
achieved by helping the coachee to identify their values, and what they see as their “life purpose,” so to speak.
AIM
An Integrated
Model of
Goal Pursuit
Antecedents: Before the trip

Approach-avoidance motivation
Self-relevance | Stickiness
Integration: Rubber meets road

How vs. why | Connect to identity
Maintenance: Cruise control

Reward and habit | Context and cues
1
Collins, Jim (2001). Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap…
And Others Don’t. Harper Business
18
Goal Hierarchies
When we work with a coachee on purpose and values, the concept of goal hierarchies is key.
Goal hierarchies explain how we think about goals along a continuum from abstract to concrete. Purpose and
values sit at one end of the continuum (abstract), whereas specific actions sit at the other (concrete). Asking why
moves up the hierarchy (more abstract), and asking how moves down (more concrete).
The examples below illustrate these different levels.
GOAL HIERARCHY EXAMPLE
Concept: Concept:
Distant / more abstract Ideal self
Principle:
Principle
Be kind to others
Act: Act:
Close / more concrete Shovel snow
“Why” Versus “How”

This is where the coach can really add value by helping
the coachee to integrate the two levels of focus. A
“How and why are more than conversation about values and purpose during the
Antecedent stage of goal setting helps the coachee
separate thoughts—they’re raise their self-awareness and increase clarity about
entirely separate ways of their choices.
thinking.”
Then, when the coachee is “on the road” during the
Eliot Berkman, NLI Summit 2012 Integration phase, the coach helps them move back
and forth between the two levels of focus. Shifting up
the goal hierarchy to why is particularly helpful when
the coachee gets stuck in the “doing” and is unclear
Thinking about why activates a completely different how to move forward, or if their motivation takes a hit
set of brain systems compared with thinking about or starts to wane. This is where a conversation about
how. We can’t be thinking about why (vision) and how reconnecting to the coachee’s purpose and values can
(planning) at the same time. get things back on track.
2
Berkman, E & Rock, D, (2014). AIM: An Integrative Model of Goal Pursuit,
NeuroLeadership Journal Issue Five.
19
Defining a Purpose
PROCESS FOR DEFINING A COACHEE’S PURPOSE
Knowing our purpose can help us clarify the “why”
of the goal hierarchy. It helps give meaning to our
goals, and eventually to our lives. Knowledge of one’s
purpose makes it easier to make choices around
fundamental questions.
The question may not be, “What is the meaning of life?”
but rather, “What gives your life meaning?”
In addition, self-awareness of our purpose can ease the
task of converting extrinsic goals (those goals externally
imposed on us) into intrinsic ones (goals we truly own
and which motivate us). In coaching, you may sense
that someone lacks an understanding of his or her
purpose. Indicators might be if they set goals but lack
the motivation to follow through on them, or they find
it difficult to make choices.
Like defining any concept, it can take some time
and reflection to find what feels right. It is an exciting
process of discovery that doesn’t need to be rushed.
Tip: As the coach one of the most valuable things
you can do during a conversation about purpose is to
Listen for Potential.
Some of the questions below can be useful when
helping a coachee reflect on their purpose.
• What do you want to be remembered for?
Example questions:
• What are your most-valued achievements?
• What do you believe is your purpose?
• What are you strengths?
• What do you feel passionate about?
• What do you enjoy doing?
• What type of work inspires you?
• What do people say about you?
• What specifically appeals to you about that work?
• What would you change if you could?
• What experience do other people get from you?
• What would you teach if you could?
• What’s the impact for them when they’re with you?
Note: Several of these questions were inspired by the work of
• What acknowledgements do you get from others? Tina Su at Think Simple Now www.thinksimplenow.com
You’re so...
It is important to allow thinking time after each
• What excites you about the experience you question, to clarify succinctly throughout, and to offer
give others? acknowledgement where appropriate.
• When are you happiest in life? Creating a purpose is about finding a short, succinct
statement that grounds the coachee in who they are
• What makes you smile?
and who they want to be. It may be useful to share a
• What makes you feel good about yourself? few possible purposes to help get in the right mindset.
20
Example personal purpose statements: Example organisational purpose statements:
• To empower • NeuroLeadership Institute: Transform leadership
through neuroscience.
• To transform
• Google: To organise the world’s information and
• Inspire growth
make it universally accessibly and useful
• Let it shine
• Nike: To bring inspiration and innovation to every
• Living intentionally athlete in the world.
• To promote wellbeing Tip: The Four Faces of Insight will be particularly useful
during a conversation about purpose as a guide to
• To teach, and to inspire others to learn
when the coachee is in deep reflection and when they
have had the “aha” that tells you they’ve found their
purpose statement.
AWARENESS REFLECTION INSIGHT ACTION
Values Assessment
This tool is a seven-step Values Assessment developed
by Dr. David Rock. The steps involve two parts: In
“Our goals, or what we move Part One, you identify your top six values based on a
process of elimination, and in Part Two, you consider
toward or away from, reveal our where those values are being represented in different
values… Values are unconscious areas of your life.
filters used to make choices.
Identifying, getting clear about, As an alternative, coachees may wish to take the VIA
Character Strengths Survey, which was developed
or crystalising our personal by psychologist Martin Seligman, who is widely
values can help us make better considered to be the father of positive psychology.
decisions.” In measuring character strengths the survey gives an
Rock and Page, Coaching with the Brain in Mind, 2009 excellent indication of a person’s values. It is available
free on Seligman’s website, Authentic Happiness,
hosted by the University of Pennsylvania3.
3
https://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu
21
STEP 1: DEVELOP A SHORTLIST OF YOUR TOP VALUES
Create a list of your most important 20 values, without trying to order them at all. Do this by circling 20 of the values
below that most call to you, or write in other values not on the list.
Abundance Expertise Learning Respect
Diversity Fashion Leisure Results

Fairness & social
Activism Literature Risk taking
justice
Advancement Family Living your dreams Security
Adventure Feminism Love for myself Self-control
Aesthetics Financial security Love for others Self-respect
Ambition Freedom Moral fulfillment Sensuality
Animal rights Friendship Music Self-care
Art Generosity Nature Spirituality
Attention to detail Global awareness Open communication Spontaneity
Authenticity Global peace Opening myself to love Stability
Balance Growth Optimism Storytelling
Beauty Happiness/positivity Passion Style
Kindness Harmony Patriotism Taking responsibility
Calmness Health Persistence The big picture
Challenging myself Helping others Personal expression Thinking time
Change and variety Honesty Personal growth Tidiness
Charity Honour Perspective Time
Collaboration Humour Physical challenge Tolerance
Community Imagination Play Tranquillity
Compassion Independence Pleasure Trust
Competence Influence Power Wealth
Competition Innovation Precision Wonder and awe
Courage Inspiring others Professionalism Workers’ rights
Creativity Integrity Protecting the environment Workmanship
Curiosity Intellectual status Pride
Emotional intelligence Intelligence Quality of life
Empathy Kindness Quiet times
Equality for all people Knowledge Recognition
Excitement Laughter Relationships
Experimentation Leadership Reliability
22
MY MAIN 20 VALUES ARE:
1 11
2 12
3 13
4 14
5 15
6 16
7 17
8 18
9 19
10 20
23
STEP 2: CLARIFY YOUR TOP 5 CORE VALUES STEP 4: UNDERSTAND WHERE YOUR VALUES ARE
Uncover your five key values by following these steps: NOT EXPRESSED
List which of your five core values are not expressed
1 Group common values
in each of these areas of your life:
2 Take out values that are obviously not significant
1 Work:
for you
2 Home and personal environment:
3 Decide by process of elimination which values are
you five key ones. 3 Intimate relationship:
4 Family:
MY TOP 5 VALUES ARE:
5 Friends / social life:
2
STEP 5: UNDERSTAND THE IMPACT OF YOUR
VALUES IN YOUR LIFE
3 What is the impact in each area of your life? What
insights are you having?
4 1 Work:
2 Home and personal environment:
5 3 Intimate relationship:
4 Family:
STEP 3: UNDERSTAND WHERE YOUR VALUES ARE

EXPRESSED
Looking at your list of five core values, list which ones STEP 6: BRING YOUR VALUES INTO ALL AREAS OF
are expressed in each of these areas of your life: YOUR LIFE
1 Work: What can you do to bring all your values into all areas
2 Home and personal environment: of your life?
3 Intimate relationship: 1 Work:
4 Family: 2 Home and personal environment:
5 Friends/social life: 3 Intimate relationship:

4 Family:
24
SUGGESTIONS FOR WORKING WITH THESE TOOLS
The purpose conversation and values assessment
can be used prior to setting the goals or afterwards.
As always, the conversation engine will be the
Dance of Insight.
Pre-Coaching session
ion ement
You might conduct a pre-coaching session that iss Plac
includes a discussion of purpose and values. m
r
Pe
In this case, you would ask the coachee to
complete Steps One through Four of the Values
Questionnaire before the session and then facilitate
an conversation by working through Steps Four and
Five. Then help them reflect on their purpose by The Dance
first helping them to define a purpose statement of Insight™
ng
and then by asking them to consider where in their
ifyi
in g
lives they feel their purpose is being fulfilled, and
lar
n
where they might need to make changes.
tio
C
es
After setting goals Qu
Conversations about purpose and values require
trust, so at other times it makes sense to explore
purpose and values shortly into the coaching, once
the relationship has been established.
For example, after setting goals in the first session,
you could ask your coachee to complete Steps One
through Four of the Values Assessment along with
Preparation Questionnaire. Then in Session Two
you would work together through Steps Four and
Five of the Values Assessment, focusing on areas
linked to their goals. From here, a conversation
about purpose can flow quite naturally, and once
a purpose statement is developed, the coach can
help the coachee reflect on how their goals align to
their purpose statement. Other Ideas
As needed
At times the need for a conversation about purpose
and values becomes apparent some time into the
coaching engagement. A clue might be that the
coachee has hit a roadblock around motivation or
they are feeling lost or off track.
The values assessment can be completed either
as an action between sessions, or within coaching
sessions where appropriate.
25
Notes
26
Module 11:
Coaching For Balance
Introduction
A common goal for coachees is to improve their work/life balance. This concept is intrinsically linked to a
person’s purpose and values—it is about making time for the things that give their life deeper meaning. In this
module, we look at a tool that can help people reflect on the concept of work/life balance. The other way we
can think about coaching for balance is to consider the idea of cognitive balance, a concept that is less well
known but equally important. We look at the neuroscience behind the concept of a balanced “mental diet” and
how we can use this to maximise the function of our PFC and avoid burnout, one of the high costs of getting
out of balance.
The Healthy Mind Platter, created by Dr David Rock and Dr Dan Siegel, addresses the need for simple, clear
information about good mental habits. This platter has seven essential mental activities necessary for optimum
mental health in daily life. By engaging every day in each of these seven activities, you enable your brain to
coordinate and balance its activities, which strengthens your brain’s internal connections and your connections
with other people.
The Healthy Mind Platter TM
PHYSICAL TIME
SLEEP TIME FOCUS TIME
TIME IN CONNECTING TIME
DOWN TIME PLAY TIME
The Healthy Mind Platter, for Optimal Brain Matter

TM
Copyright © 2011 David Rock and Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. All rights reserved
27
SLEEP TIME
A 2008 poll in the US showed that 44% of people were ideal length for alertness and performance being
regularly getting less than the recommended hours 20 minutes. Jessica Payne, associate professor and
of sleep on weekdays. The cost of this sleep deficit is director of the Sleep Stress and Memory Lab at the
high: Drowsy drivers are responsible for a fifth of all University of Notre Dame also suggests incorporating
motor vehicle accidents in the US and other studies a “mindfulness period” or “restful wakefulness” to
show a significant link between sleep deprivation combat insufficient sleep.
and depression. There is strong evidence that sleep
enhances memory, creative thinking, learning, and
emotion regulation—clearly, sleep is something we
should take more seriously if we want to achieve Ideas for Coachees
optimal mental performance.
Research confirms that most of us require between
seven and nine hours of sleep. If this is not possible,
two other sleep routines can be effective. One is a
“siesta model” consisting of one five to seven hour
chunk of sleep and a second daytime nap of one to
two hours. The other is to take short naps, with the
PHYSICAL TIME
Exercise increases blood flow to the brain, helps

activate genes responsible for neuroplasticity, and Ideas for Coachees
increases the levels of brain-derived neurotropic factor
(BDNF), a molecule that promotes memory formation
and learning. Numerous studies demonstrate the
many positive effects of exercise on the brain. These
include improved functioning of the PFC, which as
we know encompasses working memory, response
speed, impulse control and the ability to focus.
Other studies show that exercise helps reduce
cognitive decline due to aging and that it supports
recovery after injury or disease. Furthermore,
moderate aerobic activity has been shown to reduce
stress, anxiety and depression. Clearly, exercise is good
for a lot more than heart health and physical fitness.
28
FOCUS TIME
On the Healthy Mind Platter, focus time refers to simultaneously. Sustaining attention requires a pre-
sustained attention on a single task. During quality frontal cortex in a state of “optimal arousal”—not too
focus time the individual is in a state of “flow,” a bored and not too stressed. We look at this ideal brain
concept popularised by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi in his state more in the next module when we examine
seminal work of the same name. Flow is characterised personal productivity.
by being completely engrossed in a task and not
noticing time passing. For knowledge workers, focus
time is one of the most-prized mental activities Ideas for Coachees
because it allows them to gain a sense of mastery and
complete important tasks. Hobbies also fall under the
category of focus time.
Unfortunately, quality focus time can be hard to come
by. Modern life is full of distractions, everything from
pinging digital devices to interruptions by co-workers
in adjacent cubicles, to multiple projects on the go
CONNECTING TIME
When we stop performing cognitively-effortful tasks then, can be viewed not as a luxury but as a necessity.
and allow ourselves to relax, the brain’s default mode In the Healthy Mind Platter, this activity also includes
network turns on. Neuroimaging shows that this connecting to the natural world.
network includes the regions of the brain responsible
for thinking about ourselves and others. In other
words, our default network is social. This may explain
the popularity of social media like Facebook and Ideas for Coachees
Twitter. Research shows social support not only
improves physical health and mortality, it also helps
people manage stress, confront challenges, and
maintain a positive outlook. Matthew Lieberman, one
of the founders of social cognitive neuroscience, sees
social connection as a basic human need, in the same
category as food, water and shelter. Connecting time,
29
PLAY TIME
Neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp has researched play What should adult play look like? Research suggests it
extensively and has defined an instinct known as needs to be social and provide unexpected and novel
“play-joy.” He suggests it is one of the basic emotional situations. If it generates laughter, all the better.
systems in human beings along with anger, fear, the
sex drive and the maternal drive. Play appears to help
develop social skills as well as facilitate learning and
help people practice new motor skills. It releases Ideas for Coachees
dopamine, creating that all-important toward state that
supports optimal cortical function.
Being deprived of play has been associated with
social problems in humans and aggressive behaviour
in animals. We tend to think of play as an activity for
children, but NLI journal paper The Healthy Mind
Platter proposes it has significant benefits for adults.
DOWN TIME
Down time refers to inactivity—intentionally having Ideas for Coachees

no goal or outcome in mind. It is lazing, chilling out,
daydreaming, disconnecting. In the brain, this wakeful
state of rest activates the default network in the brain,
which research indicates is concerned with memory,
sense of self and others, autobiographical reflection,
and integration. We tend to naturally enter this state
when we are mentally exhausted, but it is not an
activity many of us consciously schedule into our day.
Crucially, this state seems to be one of the common
precursors to insight, especially when it follows an
intensive period of focus time, so an argument could
be made for giving it more priority.
30
TIME IN
Time in, simply put, is the practice of mindfulness. Unlike other mental states in the Healthy Mind Platter,
Jon Kabat-Zin, Founding Executive Director of mindfulness or time in is not a state we are likely to
the Center for Mindfulness, describes this state as enter naturally, and thus it needs to be learned and
“paying attention in a particular way: On purpose, practiced in order to gain the benefits.
in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.”
This can include awareness of self or inner life—
thoughts, emotions and bodily sensations—as well Ideas for Coachees
as the external world. The benefits of mindfulness
are extensive. Studies show that when practiced on
a regular basis it helps people regulate emotions,
enhance attention and creativity, reduce stress, and
increase empathy. It has been shown to improve
symptoms of anxiety and depression as well as
pain management.
Further reading: Rock, Siegel, Poelmans, and Payne. The Healthy Mind Platter, NeuroLeadership Journal Issue Four.
SUGGESTIONS FOR USING THE HEALTHY MIND PLATTER WITH COACHEES

The point of this tool is not to deliver a specific recipe, but rather to suggest the right ingredients for a healthy
mind. The amount that each individual needs will vary. The point is to ensure that these elements are present on a
regular basis, even for a short while.
This is a tool you can use with your coachees as a one-off activity, as a regular exercise between sessions, or even
as a “before-and-after” coaching activity to help them identify the progress they have made as a result of coaching.
It could also be used at the start of a coaching series to generate ideas for secondary goals.
IDEA:
• Step One: Ask your coachee to rate each area out of ten.
• Step Two: Where are you in balance?
• Step Three: Where might you need to pay more attention?
• Ask your coachee to track how much time they spend on each activity using the Healthy Mind Platter
Worksheet (over the page). Then debrief their learnings and support them to plan an ideal week.
31
Healthy Mind Platter Worksheet
Instructions: Each day for 7 to 10 days track how much time you spend in each of the different activities.
SLEEP PHYSICAL FOCUS TIME IN DOWNTIME PLAYTIME CONNECT
10 mins
Mon 6.5 hr 1 hr 4 hr 1 hr 0 1-2 hr
(meditation)
Tues
Wed
Thur
Fri
Sat
Sun
Total
Sleep Time: When we give the brain the rest it Down Time: When we are non-focused, without
needs, we consolidate learning and recover from the any specific goal, and let our mind wander or simply
experiences of the day. relax, we help the brain recharge.
Physical Time: When we move our bodies, Play Time: When we allow ourselves to be
aerobically if medically possible, we strengthen the spontaneous or creative, playfully enjoying novel
brain in many ways. experiences, we help make new connections in
the brain.
Focus Time: When we closely focus on tasks in a
goal-oriented way, we take on challenges that make Connecting Time: When we connect with other
deep connections in the brain. people, ideally in person, and when we take time to
appreciate our connection to the natural world
Time In: When we quietly reflect internally, focusing
around us, we activate and reinforce the brain’s
on sensations, images, feelings, and thoughts, we
relational circuitry.
help to better integrate the brain.
32
Personal Health
75%
Hobbies 50% Career
25%
Home Finance
Social Time Mgt
Wheel of Balance
When we set goals with a coachee at the start of The coachee rates each area by drawing a line at
a coaching series we look for three separate areas the relevant percentage level. They may wish to also
of their life to focus on, often aiming for a balance color in the sections of the wheel.
between work and personal goals. This is one way
Another alternative for working with the Wheel of
we support coachees to achieve work/life balance.
Balance is to take the Checklist that was completed
The Wheel of Balance offers an opportunity to focus
after Session 1 and to use those scores to populate
more deeply on this. This tool also supports the
the segments.
achievement of a balanced mental diet in that several
areas in the wheel support people to practice the This exercise gives an immediate visual snapshot of
seven activities in the Healthy Mind Platter. the overall balance in a coachee’s life.
The idea behind the Wheel of Balance is that in order
to lead a fulfilled life we need to make sure all areas SUGGESTIONS FOR WORKING WITH THIS TOOL
receive adequate focus. If there is one area that is This tool, like any tool, is an opportunity to have a
out of alignment, then this can affect other areas. For conversation that facilitates insight.
example, if our health is rated low, then this could be One powerful way to use it is during the goal setting
affecting our performance at work. process. A blank wheel is used to capture the areas
The different segments of the Wheel of Balance that come out in mining. Then, during the defining
can be defined, as in the example or the coachee process, the coach asks the coachee to assess
can be given a blank wheel and asked to choose fulfillment levels in each area. This can provide some
the areas that are meaningful to them. For example, powerful pointers as to which areas might benefit
some coachees might find it useful to include an most from coaching.
area called “Creativity,” and another might include Or, have the coachee complete the Wheel before
“Spirituality” or “Community.” the first session as preparation for the goal setting
The coachee is then given a choice about how process.
they want to measure each area. It might be “level Another option is to use the completed Wheel of
of satisfaction,” or “success,” or simply how much Balance as a substitute for the Checklist, and revisit it
energy and attention the area is getting. each month to see what changes have been made in
the different areas.
33
It can be set as a one-off action between sessions as Notes
the need arises. For example, a coachee might identify
that they feel they are “out of balance” and that they
need to step back and look at the big picture.
And finally, you can create a Wheel of Balance based
on the areas that are most relevant to the coachee
as identified in a conversation around purpose and
values. Once the coachee has identified these, you
can discuss together in which areas in their life or work
they want their purpose and values to be showing up
more. Again, you can check in at regular intervals to
set additional actions and monitor progress.
Support a toward state by offering placement that
very few people have a perfectly balanced wheel and
that this is simply an opportunity to reflect on which
areas they would like to give more focus to.
Useful questions to ask include:
• What are you pleased with, looking at this picture?
• What surprises you about this picture?
• In which area would you most like to make a change?
• How do you feel about your score in this
particular area?
• What would you like your score to be in this area?
• What connections do you see between your wheel
and your goals?
• How well are you living your purpose and values,
based on this picture?
Other Ideas
34
Module 12:
Personal Productivity
Introduction
Personal productivity is often thought of as simply being about getting organised by implementing systems and
processes to manage our time better. The field of NeuroLeadership adds the concept of attention management—
managing our cognitive resources so we get the most out of our brain.
When coaching around personal productivity we are after two results. One, we want to help people perform
at their peak. Two, we want to help people take control of their time so they can choose to do the things they
really value. In other words, we want to help them achieve the work/life balance we discussed in the previous
module. In this module we look at the neuroscience behind attention management, and then at a number of
prioritising and efficiency tools that work with the brain in mind.
Being productive and effective involves tasks like
planning, decision making, problem solving, and
communicating. A large part of productivity is also
about ignoring distractions in order to focus on
priorities, which means we have to use the right
ventrolateral prefrontal cortex—the brain’s braking
system. In short, all of these tasks use significant PFC
resources. Therefore, to maximise productivity one
of the smartest thing we can do is create the ideal
conditions in the PFC. Right Ventrolateral
Prefrontal Cortex
(RVLPFC)
35
Focused 7 Knowledge that the task is doable—a balance
Organised between skill level and challenge
Responsible
8 A sense of personal control or agency over the
PFC Abilities
situation or activity
9 A sense of timelessness
Distracted
Disorganised 10 Lack of awareness of physical needs
Forgetful
Disinhibited Suggestions to increase your chances of entering a
state of flow include:
• Have a clear goal or desired outcome in mind
before you begin the task.
Levels of Catecholamine Release • Be clear on the skills you bring to the task. Ideally,
Increase with arousal state you want to have a sense that your level of skill
matches the level of challenge.
THE INVERTED U OF PERFORMANCE • Just the right amount of stretch.
Research by Amy Arnsten, Professor of Neurobiology
• Create opportunities for complete focus, without
and Psychology at Yale University, shows that our
interruption.
PFC abilities increase to a certain level of arousal,
and then decrease as we become overly aroused, • Build in immediate feedback so you can adjust your
or overwhelmed4. This “fussy” part of the brain performance as you work.
needs the perfect balance of neurochemicals—not
to much, not too little, but just right. Hence, her
description of the PFC as “the Goldilocks of the When have you had the experience
brain.” Arnsten’s research shows the “sweet spot” of of being in flow?
peak performance varies from person to person, and What were you doing?
over time for each individual, based on factors like
hormones, genetic differences and environmental
factors. It also varies according to task; for example,
pressure may be helpful for narrow focus, but not
for creative insight. The key is to aim for the level of
optimal arousal as the situation dictates.
FLOW
Connected to this idea of a zone of peak performance
is the concept of “flow,” which was introduced in the
previous module. Here is a list of the qualities of flow
as defined by Csikszentmihalyi and colleagues. It is
useful to learn that we can experience flow with even
just some of these elements:
1 Clear goals that challenge but feel achievable
2 Complete focus on the activity itself
3 Intense and focused concentration on the present
moment
4 Experience of the activity as intrinsically rewarding
5 A loss of self-consciousness
6 Immediate feedback that you can respond to in
the moment
4 Arnsten, A.F.T. (1998). The biology of being frazzled. Science, 280, 1711-12;
and,
Vijayraghavan, S. et al. (2007). Inverted-U dopamine D1 receptor actions
on prefrontal neurons engaged in working memory.Nature Neuroscience,
10, 376-84.
5 Nakamura, J.; Csikszentmihalyi, M. (20 December 2001). “Flow Theory and
Research” and C. R. Snyder Erik Wright, and Shane J. Lopez. Handbook of
Positive Psychology. Oxford University Press. pp. 195–206.
36
Which of the 10 qualities of flow were present? (see the list on previous page)
How might you re-create that experience?
How could you support coachees to find more flow?
37
THREE DEGREES OF DIFFICULTY
Given that none of us are at the top of the “U” all the reflection. In other words, you would have to pay
time, it makes sense to identify which tasks are best significant attention to this question before answering.
suited to those times of peak performance. All tasks
To help you and your coachees understand what
have a degree of difficulty and, therefore, a different
might be attention-rich tasks, we have identified three
level of energy required to complete. For example:
different levels of thinking:
• Picture what you had for dinner last night
Level One doesn’t require much thinking or effort, and
• Now, picture what you wore three days ago use of the PFC is minimal.
• And now, picture what happened on the way to Example: Deleting an email
work 10 days ago
Level Two requires a little more thinking and effort.
The main point here is that the degree of difficulty
Example: Scheduling a meeting
increases with each question, and in fact the hardest
level is to think about something you have never seen Level Three requires a lot more thinking and effort, and
before. This is really challenging for the PFC, which is uses a lot of glucose.
a visual processor. Imagine if one of the steps above
Example: Writing a proposal for a new product
required you to think about your ideal workplace. You
could talk to that, but only with some thought and
DEGREES OF DIFFICULTY
Level One Level Two Level Three
Delete emails Schedule Creative work
Seen a lot Seen a little Never seen
Present Past Future
People Concrete objects Concepts
Certain Ambiguous Uncertain
Reference: Focus your AIM, NeuroLeadership Summit 2012
Remember that the brain is designed to conserve energy and approach reward, so we tend to gravitate towards the
Level One tasks because they use minimal resources and give us instant gratification. However, this can mean we
waste our most-effective thinking time on tasks that could be done when we are not at our peak. Giving time and
space to Level Three tasks takes clear intent and planning. It is important to note that prioritising itself is a Level-Three
task. Thus, if we don’t prioritise at the beginning of the day, we probably won’t prioritise during the day and will end
up working on whatever is in front of us. This pattern often leads to an unproductive day.
Personal Productivity Tools

ACTIVITY LOGS
Activity Logs are useful in helping individuals to see time spent dealing with interruptions, talking to
the current reality of how they spend their time and colleagues, making coffee, dealing with email, eating
when they are most productive. This helps them gain lunch, taking non-essential phone calls, etc.
clarity about what they could change to maximise
Another surprise can be gaining awareness of how
their effectiveness.
their energy levels vary throughout the day, and
Quite often there is a level of surprise at the extent identifying the factors that influence these energy
of the information gathered by an activity log, not to levels. These include the amount of sugar in their
mention frustration at the amount of time wasted. blood, the length of time since they last took a break,
Memory can be a very poor guide when it comes to how much sleep they got the night before, routine
how we actually spend our time. It is easy to forget distractions, stress, and physical discomfort.
38
The other factor to take into consideration when Learning from your log and working with your coach
working with Activity Logs is whether someone is a Once you have logged your time for about 10 days,
“lark” or a “night owl”—that is, whether their energy analyse the log.
peaks in the morning or the evening. Research shows
every person has a unique chronotype that falls You may be alarmed to see the length of time you
somewhere on the spectrum. Although circadian spend doing low value jobs! You may also notice
rhythms can be altered somewhat, people’s basic that you are energetic in some parts of the day, and
preferences seem to be fixed.6 flat in other parts. A lot of this can depend on the rest
breaks you take, the times and amounts you eat, or
How to use the activity log tool quality of your nutrition. The activity log gives you a
• Determine how you will record your activities. basis for experimenting with these variables.
The log below can be used, or the coachee may
choose to use a notebook, spreadsheet, computer Key points
diary, or paper diary. Activity logs are useful tools for auditing the way that
• Fill out one log every day for ten days. you use your time. They can also help you to track
changes in your energy, alertness and effectiveness
• Without modifying your behaviour any further than throughout the day.
you have to, note down the things you do as you
do them. By analysing your activity log you will be able to
identify and eliminate time-wasting or low-yield jobs.
• Every time you change activities, note down the You will also know the times of day at which you are
time of the change. most effective, so that you can carry out your most
• Activities to include: scheduled work, travel time, important tasks during these times.
meetings, phone calls, interruptions (planned or
otherwise), answering emails, thinking time, making
coffee, chatting with colleagues.
• Note the degree of difficulty for each task (level 1, 2 or 3).
• Also note your level of energy (low, medium or
high) periodically throughout the day.
EXAMPLE TIME LOG: FOR ONE DAY
PLANNED ACTUAL DEGREE OF TIME ENERGY

START END COMMENTS
ACTIVITY ACTIVITY DIFFICULTY SPENT LEVEL
6 Hur, Y. M., Bouchard, T. J., & Lykken, D. T. (1997). Genetic and

environmental influence on morningness-eveningness. Personality and
Individual Differences, 25, 917-925.
39
IDEAL DAY WORKSHEET
Armed with the knowledge from the activity log, your coachee is now in a position to plan their ideal day by
mapping the degrees of difficulty for each task against their energy on a typical day. They may wish to shade in
the periods of high energy and low energy using different colours.
TIME ACTIVITY DEGREE OF DIFFICULTY
5am
6am
7am
8am
9am
10am
11am
12pm
1pm
2pm
3pm
4pm
5pm
6pm
7pm
8pm
9pm
10pm
What are the indicators that a coachee could benefit from the Activity Log and Ideal
Day Worksheet?
40
WORKING WITH THE PFC
One of the best ways we can improve mental performance is to work with the limitations of the PFC, which we
introduced in Brain-Based Conversation Skills. Here are some ideas:
PFC LIMITATION SUGGESTIONS
• Understand the degree of difficulty of each task and schedule according to your energy
Energy-
• Prioritize prioritizing
intensive
• Make food choices that give long-lasting energy and stay hydrated
• Create a system for keeping track of tasks and rely on this, not your working memory
• Break projects and information into chunks
Small capacity
• Keep things visual
• List three priorities you would like to accomplish each day and each month
• Do one thing at a time (avoid multi-tasking)

Serial • Avoid incomplete intentions by working out the desired outcome for each task.
processing
• Move distracting thoughts onto paper and set aside regular blocks of time to
“process” them and work out next actions.
• Maintain your levels of dopamine by creating interest (novelty, insights, humor, change)
Fussy • Maintain your levels of noradrenalin by generating alertness (a sense of urgency,
beating your personal best, earn a bonus)
• Close email and check it only at specified times of day

• Keep your work area clear of anything that is not directly related to the task you are
Easily working on
distracted
• Minimize distractions in your environment
• Maximize your physical comfort (e.g. ergonomics, temperature)
For more on each of these, please see David Rock’s book Your Brain at Work. 7
Other Ideas
7
Rock, D. (2009). Your Brain at Work: Strategies for Overcoming Distraction,
Regaining Focus, and Working Smarter All Day Long. Harper Business.
41
IDEAS FOR PRIORITISING
Prioritising is one of the brain’s most energy-hungry processes. It involves understanding, making decisions,
remembering, and inhibiting, all at once. After even just a few mental activities, you may not have the resources
left to prioritise effectively.
Most coachees have many different tasks on their list, and many areas of their work and life that need attention.
It can be difficult to know where to focus. Part of the coach’s role is to support them to get this clarity.
There are many different ways that a coach can support their coachee to prioritise:
• Ask the coachee to rank each task or project out of • Ask the coachee what they feel intuitively is the
ten, with ten being the top priority. most important place to focus their attention at the
moment.
• Ask the coachee to establish the criteria for
prioritising and then ask them to match the tasks • Ask the coachee what their big picture vision is and
against the criteria. The criteria might include their how they would prioritise based on the vision they
goals, finances, relationships, time, etc. have.
• Ask the coachee to place each task in a matrix, for • Support the coachee to develop habits, for
example, Steven Covey’s four quadrant matrix of example, prioritizing at the same time each day, or
urgent versus important8. doing the most difficult task first.
Other Ideas
8
Stephen Covey, A. Roger Merrill, and Rebecca R. Merrill, First Things
First: To Live, to Love, to Learn, to Leave a Legacy. New York: Simon and
Schuster, 1994.
42
Notes
43
Module 13:
Confidence Coaching
Introduction
A common theme in coaching is the desire to “be more assertive.” The coachee might express that they have
trouble saying no, expressing opinions, setting healthy boundaries or making their needs clear. Or, they may
be new to management and struggling with establishing authority. One of the keys to making improvements
in this area is to focus on building self-confidence. This is about changing beliefs, or an “inside-out” approach.
The other way to coach around this is to focus on changing behaviour, which can then lead to changes in the
way someone thinks and feels. This is the “outside-in” approach. In this module, we examine lessons from social
neuroscience about confidence and assertiveness, and ideas for application.
Recent research into hormones and leadership indicates effective leaders have a hormone profile of high
testosterone and low cortisol. Studies by Mehta and colleagues demonstrated that subjects with this hormone
profile were more persistent in the face of failure, better negotiators, and more willing to take risks. They are able
to maintain their status and also remain cool in the face of stress. It could be inferred that these qualities are
crucial not just for leaders, but for anyone who wants to demonstrate confidence and assertiveness.
In the paper “An Ideal Hormone Profile for Leadership,” the authors suggest both physical and cognitive actions
that can change hormone levels and therefore change behaviour.
ACTIONS TO INCREASE TESTOSTERONE ACTIONS TO DECREASE CORTISOL

• Strike a power pose (more on this below) • Strike a power pose
• Get a full night’s sleep • Get a full night’s sleep
• Eat a low-glycemic meal • Get social support
• Exercise at a moderate level • Exercise at a moderate level
• Construe something as a status • Practice mindfulness
opportunity
• Reappraise negative events so they are
less potent
9 Davis and Mehta (2015). An Ideal Hormone Profile for Leadership: Can You
Help Yourself Be a Better Leader? NeuroLeadership Institute Journal Issue Six
44
Power Poses Although power posing might seem simplistic, and
even a little foolish, it has been shown to be effective
Research by Carney, Cuddy and Yap10 showed that if held for as little as two minutes (in privacy) as
taking on a posture that felt powerful to the person preparation for a significant event or conversation.
holding it increases testosterone and decreases
cortisol. Participants who struck “power poses” An example posture Cuddy uses in her TED talk of
for several minutes before beginning a mock 2012 is “Wonder Woman”: wide stance, hands on
job interview received better reviews and were hips, chest expanded and chin up. As Cuddy put it in
more likely to be chosen for hire—even though her TED talk of 2012, “Our bodies change our minds
the evaluators had never seen them in the poses. and our minds can change our behaviour, and our
Another study showed that people are more likely to behaviour can change our outcomes.”
take risks after adopting a power pose. Her take away message—“Fake it ‘til you become it.”
Tools and Application

Some of the keys to coaching around confidence
and assertiveness are to create a toward state, focus
on strengths, and create a vision.
It is also important that the coach listens for
potential, putting no limits on what the coachee is
capable of.
Below are some ideas to try.
DURING COACHING SESSIONS

• Try out different power poses and choose the one
I like best. • Identify new behaviours that demonstrate
confidence and then create implementations
• Label the habitual beliefs that limit my confidence.
intentions to support them. For example, “If I am
For example, “The belief that people will dislike
in a team meeting, I will offer my opinion within
me if I disagree with them is just my lack of
the first 15 minutes.”
confidence.”
• Role-play scenarios to practice assertiveness
• Label the role I am playing; for example “martyr,”
with my coach and use self-directed feed-forward
“good guy,” “rescuer.”
to debrief.
10
Carney, Dana R, Cuddy, Amy J C, & Yap, Andy J. (2010). Power posing:
Brief nonverbal displays affect neuroendocrine levels and risk tolerance.
Psychological Science, 21 (10), 1363-1368.
45
IN-BETWEEN COACHING SESSIONS
• Practice power posing for two minutes before • Use the prioritising tools so I am fully armed to say,
every significant event or conversation. “No, that’s not a priority for me right now.”
• List my proudest achievements in my career and • Reappraise using repositioning—look at the
personal life. situation from the perspective of a third party. For
example, “How would my boss handle this?” Or,
• Create a vision of exactly how my confident self
“What positive thoughts might someone have about
looks and behaves.
me in this situation?”
• List three things I’m proud of at the end of every day.
• List three ways I demonstrated assertiveness at the
end of each week. Other Ideas
• Read a best selling book on confidence or
assertiveness and implement the best three ideas.
• “Fake it ‘til I become it”: Observe the behaviours
of others who demonstrate confidence and
assertiveness and practice adopting those
behaviours.
• Ask someone I admire to mentor me around
confidence.
CONFIDENCE AND ASSERTIVENESS WORKSHEET

How do you rate your confidence now out of 10?
Where would you like it to be out of 10?
List 5 things that increase your confidence.
46
List 5 things that reduce your confidence
What are 3 ideas you have for building your confidence?
What implementation intention could support you to build assertiveness based on the above?
Use the format, “If I find myself in Circumstance X, then I will do Y.” For example: “If I am about to give a
presentation, then I will practice a power pose for two minutes in privacy beforehand.”
47
Notes
48
Module 14:
Making Great Decisions
Introduction
As people go through the coaching journey their picture of what is possible expands and they tend to see more
and more choices. This can mean people face significant decisions—things that will have a major impact on
their life and work. The ability to make decisions is also crucial in the workplace, particularly when people are
in a leadership role where their choices impact other people and the organisation as a whole. As coaches, we
can support people to make great decisions by helping them think about their thinking—in other words, practice
meta-cognition. In this module, we review some of the latest neuroscience about decision making and then
introduce some processes and tools to support people in this area.
Early philosophy and cognitive science postulated Nobel Prize winner and psychologist Daniel
that decision making should be handled by the Kahneman offers a simple way to think about these
rational part of the mind, with emotions being a “wild competing decision making networks. He proposes
horse” that must be kept in check so it didn’t derail that there are two systems.
the process.
System 1 is automatic, intuitive and fast. It is often
Neuroscientist Antonio Damasio’s work shows that based on a feeling or hunch. This system is used
this logic/emotion split is incorrect. It turns out that frequently because it relies on non-conscious
emotion is critical in the decision making process, processes and thus doesn’t use up a lot of energy
as illustrated by one of Damasio’s patients, Elliot. compared to System 2.
Elliot was completely incapable of feeling emotion
System 2 is reflective. It uses the conscious mind
as the result of ventromedial frontal lobe damage.
and logic and thus is effortful, slow, and less-
The big surprise was that this patient’s lack of
frequently used.
emotion interfered profoundly with his ability to make
decisions. He spent hours deliberating over simple Coaches mostly work with System 2, helping people
choices like whether to use a black pen or a blue to slow down and deepen their thinking. At times
pen or which restaurant to visit for lunch. He was a coachee might identify that they have a habit of
paralysed by indecision11. making “snap” decisions that are not serving them
well—that is, they are relying too heavily on System
Contemporary neuroscience shows that decision
1. In this instance a coach might help them come up
making engages multiple regions in the brain, both
with implementation intentions so they can build a
emotional and rational. A number of studies propose
new habit of taking time to reflect.
that there are several decision making networks or
systems that actually compete with each other.
11
Damasio, A. (2005) Descartes’ Error: Emotion, Reason and the Human
Brain. Penguin Books
12
Kahneman, D. (2011). Thinking Fast and Slow. Penguin
13
Kirk, U (2012). Neural Substrates of Corporate Decision making.
NeuroLeadership Journal Issue Four.
49
OPTIMAL CONDITIONS people need a quiet brain so they can see a broad
One of the foundations to making great decisions range of options and make new connections.
is ensuring conditions in the brain are optimal. At One of the best ways for people to maintain optimal
a physiological level, the PFC needs glucose and conditions in the brain is to practice being in the
oxygen to function well. If the person is hungry, tired, direct experience network. In the paper, Neural
or emotional they are not in the best position to Substrates of Corporate Decision-Making15 it is
make good decisions. proposed that mindfulness offers a way to manage
People also need to be in a toward state. Too much the competition between the rational and emotional
threat, as we know, draws resources from the PFC, processes used in decision making. We revisit
which makes it difficult to hold all the relevant pieces mindfulness in the final module of this program.
in mind and think them through logically. And finally,
Using the Clarity of Distance to

Make Great Decisions
The Clarity of Distance model was introduced in Hot Spots Detail
Brain-Based Conversation Skills as a way for the
coach to maintain objectivity. This model can
also be a useful framework to help coachees think
more objectively about a significant decision. The
summary below looks at factors that might get in Filters Agenda
the way of objectivity during the decision making
process, and suggests options to reduce their impact.
FILTERS
Our past experiences shape the way we see the world. • Availability bias leads us to make decisions based
However, this tends to be non-conscious; in other on the information that comes to mind most
words, we tend to believe our perception is reality. quickly and easily. Naturally, this information is
Neuroscientists refer to filters as biases, and to date based on our experiences.
over 150 different types have been identified.
Tips to mitigate against filters:
Below are some examples of biases and ideas for how
to mitigate them. Many of these ideas were drawn • Seek multiple points of view.
from the NLI journal paper Breaking Bias14. • Imagine how someone else would tackle this
• Confirmation biases cause us to look for evidence decision.
that supports the viewpoint we already hold and • Consider all information and alternatives, not just
ignore evidence that doesn’t. what’s most readily accessible.
• In-group bias can cause us to prefer people who
are similar to us. For example, we might intuitively
hire a candidate with a similar background or
personality to our own, even though another
candidate is better-suited to the job and would
bring diversity to the team.
14
Lieberman M, Rock D, Cox C. (2014). Breaking Bias, NeuroLeadership
Journal Issue Five
15
Kirk, U (2012). Neural Substrates of Corporate Decision making.
NeuroLeadership Journal Issue Four, and Ariely, D. (2008). Predictably
Irrational: The Hidden Forces that Shape Our Decisions. Harper Collins.
50
HOT SPOTS DETAIL
High positive emotion can cause us to make Your Brain At Work by David Rock proposes that
impulsive decisions, and in hindsight, these are the ideal number of choices for the brain is just
not always the best decisions. A number of studies two. Complex decisions with multiple variables to
demonstrate the connection between high levels of consider quickly become overwhelming, which is
dopamine in the brain and impaired decision not surprising when we consider that the working
making, as evidenced by pathological gambling memory only holds four to seven pieces of
and risky behaviour15. information at one time. Using tools to help simplify
detail can make it much easier to see options and
We also know that high negative emotion impairs
make a choice. Some relevant tools are introduced
cognitive function by sending resources away from
later in this module.
the PFC and into the limbic system. An example
of a bias related to negative emotion is the sunk Tips:
cost fallacy. This is when we don’t want to let go
• Summarise and simplify the decision using
of something (e.g. an investment, an employee, a
anything from a pros and cons list to diagrams.
process) because we have invested a lot of time,
money, or effort. Logic dictates that we should not • Use visuals.
waste any further resources but our emotions tell us
• Start with the coachee’s vision or desired outcome
otherwise. This is due to a phenomenon called loss
and keep returning to it during the decision-
aversion. In the brain, losses loom larger than gains
making process.
and feel a lot more painful.
Tips to manage hot spots:
• Engage your direct experience network and
AGENDA
notice what is going on for you emotionally,
positive or negative.
• Use cognitive change strategies of labelling and Sometimes there are multiple agendas to consider
reappraisal to reduce limbic arousal. when making a decision: There is the agenda of the
• Look to the future. The brain tends to gravitate person making the decision, and the agendas of other
towards immediate rewards because they provide people who may be impacted by the decision. Often,
a hit of dopamine. Help coachees consider the this causes people to advocate a particular course of
more-distant rewards. action. It is not always easy to identify hidden agendas
because they may be below people’s conscious
• Risky decisions often bring on a threat state, awareness. Strategies to protect against agendas in
leading people to gravitate towards safer choices. decision making are similar to those for filters.
Mitigate possible loss aversion by helping the
coachee consider the possible rewards of the Tips:
riskier decision. • Seek multiple points of view.
• Take a break from the decision and reconsider it • Imagine you are making the decision for someone
with fresh eyes and a calmer limbic system. else.
• Look at those who are recommending a certain
decision and ask what they stand to gain from it.
Other Ideas
51
Decision Making Tools
Below are some tools that are designed to engage System 2 thinking during decision making. They can help
coachees simplify detail and can also prove useful for identifying filters, hot spots, and agendas. These tools can
be completed during a coaching session on paper or a white board, or given to the coachee as an exercise to
do in between sessions.
T-CHART
This tool is designed to create an orderly representation of alternatives involved in a decision. It is most often used
to list pros and cons, but anything that can be polarised can be represented; for example, facts versus opinions.
An adaptation of this approach is illustrated below, which shows short-term advantages and disadvantages at the
top and long-term advantages and disadvantages at the bottom.
Example: Should I start my own business?
SHORT TERM
ADVANTAGES DISADVANTAGES
New challenges will keep me engaged Will have to get up to speed quickly = stress
Overseas travel will be part of the role this year Will need to manage up more with new boss
LONG TERM
Bigger salary Won’t see my current team reach its potential
Progress my career It is not my “ideal role”
GAIN VERSUS LOSS MATRIX

Like the T-Chart, this chart helps coachees think through the positive and negative aspects of a particular choice.
It builds on the T-chart by helping the coachee focus on the pros and cons of not making a change. This can
help mitigate loss aversion.
What will I gain if I do it? What will I gain if I don’t do it?
What will I lose if I do it? What will I lose if I don’t do it?
52
MEASURED CRITERIA
With this technique, you list the criteria you want your decision to meet and assign points to each criterion based
on its relative importance to the decision. Then each alternative is given a certain number of points according to
how fully it meets the criterion. For points you can use a scale of 1 to 10, or 1 to 3, as in the example below. At
the end, add up the points for each alternative to decide which is the best option to take.
One of the advantages of this tool is that it helps people become aware of what filters they are bringing to the
decision by asking them to list and weight the criterion.
Example: Deciding between different options for a project
CRITERIA OPTION 1 OPTION 2 OPTION 3
1. Profitable (3) W X W
2. Customer-focused (3) W W X
3. Moves closer to our goals (2) W X W
4. Easy to manage (2) X W X
5. Easy to explain (1) X W W
Total 8 6 6
53
DECISION MATRIX
This is a more-sophisticated version of the measured criteria technique. Here a table is set up with each criterion given
a weight depending on its importance to the decision and with each alternative given a ranking for that criterion.
Example: Suppose you want to decide on which course to take next year, and you have the three different
options you are considering.
Process: Set up a decision matrix with the alternatives across the top and with the criteria you want the
alternatives to meet listed down the side.
Rank each criterion with a weight on a scale of 1 to 10 to show its relative importance. One is least possible
amount of importance, while 10 is the maximum.
Go through each criterion and decide how many of the possible points each alternative should get out of the
total weighting given to it.
CRITERIA COURSE A COURSE B COURSE C
10. Right for my business 8 9 6
9. Personal interest 3 3 9
8. Mode of delivery 8 8 4
7. Helps achieve my goals 6 7 5
6. Experience of trainer 6 6 6
5. Tuition fees 5 5 2
4. Counts towards ICF 4 4 4
3. At a good hour 3 3 1
2. Number of participants 2 2 2
1. The region where it is

1 1 0
based
Total 46 47 39
In the above example taking a class at a good hour is somewhat important to the coachee (three out of 10), as
is tuition fees (five out of 10), while personal interest (nine out of 10) is three times as important as the hour and
almost twice as important as fee level.
If Course C is given nine out of a possible nine for personal interest and only one out of three for class time and
two out of five for fee level, it will still come out ahead if the nearest alternative gets three out of three for cost
and five out of five for class time while getting three out of nine for personal interest.
The above is a simple example that could probably be done by the measured criteria method. The decision
matrix is useful when there are a large number of alternatives that need to be assessed against a large number of
criteria.
54
Notes
55
Module 15:
Coaching Through Conflict
Introduction
Given that no two brains are alike, conflict is

inevitable. When disagreements are handled with
the brain in mind, useful discussions are the result.
“Peace is not absence of However, when limbic arousal is triggered, the result
is often problem and drama. In this module we
conflict, it is the ability to handle
review what social neuroscience teaches us about
conflict by peaceful means.” conflict and how we can use SCARF as a lens for
- Ronald Reagan understanding its causes. We look at ways to prevent
conflict by managing limbic arousal before it occurs,
and at how we can help others self-manage once
they are in a “post-limbic” state.
THE SOCIAL BRAIN
We know that in the brain, social pain feels as bad as physical pain, and that it causes the same level of limbic
arousal in the same regions of the brain. However, social pain is rarely thought of as being as serious as physical
pain, and as a result it is regularly triggered, both in the workplace and in people’s personal lives.
The impact of limbic arousal resulting from social threat can easily lead to conflict. People are less willing to
collaborate, they become problem-focused, and as wider perception decreases (tunnel vision) they tend to
generalise threat, seeing every stick as a snake.
Perception
Field of view
Away Toward
Threat Cognition Reward
Working memory
Creativity
Insights
Collaboration
Work with others
56
Common Causes of Conflict
Most conflicts stem from the following: Autonomy: Sense of control.
1 A SCARF threat
Conflicts can occur when:
2 Intent being misunderstood
• People feel as though they have no say in a matter.
3 Expectations not being met
• People have options taken away from them.
SCARF THREATS • People feel micromanaged.
In a conflict, the likelihood of multiple SCARF threats
• Their requests are ignored or glossed over.
occurring is high. Below is an overview of how each
SCARF domain can cause conflict.
Relatedness: In-group or out-group.

Status: Less than or better than others
Conflicts can occur when:
Conflicts can occur when: • We do not value someone’s ideas or needs.
• We feel our needs are treated as less important • Someone’s “style” or approach seems foreign to us.
than the needs of others.
• People have misaligned values.
• There is a battle for status between two parties.
One global research report showed that up to • People are put in competition with each other.
49% of respondents saw the cause of conflict as
“warring egos.”16
• It is unclear who has the status in the relationship,
and therefore who has the authority to make Fairness: Perception of fair exchange.
decisions.
• When one party criticises or even bullies the other. Conflicts can occur when:
• There is a perception of favouritism or
discrimination.
• One or both parties believe the other has made
Certainty: Ability to predict outcomes
incorrect and unfair assumptions.
• People are expected to meet goals with reduced
Conflicts can occur when: resources.
• Secrets are kept, information is not shared, and • Recognition and financial rewards are perceived to
decision making processes are private. be uneven or undeserved.
• One party has a high preference for certainty and

the other has a low need for it. What other examples have you
experienced where a SCARF threat
• A lack of role clarity or insufficient direction from
a manager.
led to conflict?
• Different communication styles lead to confusion

and misunderstandings.
16
McHenry, R (2008). Fight, Flight or Face It: Celebrating the Effective
Management of Conflict at Work. A global research report by OPP® in
association with the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development.
57
INTENT BEING MISUNDERSTOOD EXPECTATIONS NOT BEING MET
We read other people’s intent continuously and non- Dopamine is the neurotransmitter of desire.
consciously. To do this, we use System 1 thinking, Dopamine is central to the toward state—to being
which was introduced in the previous module. Using open, curious, and interested.
first impressions, feelings, and our previous experiences
When a cue from the environment indicates you’re
is a fast and efficient way to make sense of interactions
going to get a reward, dopamine releases in response.
with others. It’s much easier for the brain than using up
Unexpected rewards release more dopamine than
cognitive resources on System 2 thinking.
expected ones. Thus, the surprise bonus at work,
However, System 1 thinking is vulnerable to bias, and even a small one, can positively impact your brain
hence is not always accurate. Add tiredness, stress, chemistry more than an expected pay rise.
or a threat state and it is easy to imagine how people
However, if you’re expecting a reward and you don’t
mistake each other’s intent.
get it, dopamine levels fall steeply. This feeling is not
Furthermore, the person delivering the message may pleasant and feels a lot like pain. Expecting a pay
also fail to communicate their intent clearly. This is due rise and not getting one can create a low that lasts
to what psychologists call “the transparency illusion.” for days.18
It is the assumption by the person delivering the
Examples of expectations not being met include:
message that what they think, feel, and communicate
is crystal clear to the other person, and it means they • Expecting an appointment to go for an hour and it
often forget to make their intentions explicit. goes for two.
One study showed that 50% of subjects participating • Expecting acknowledgement and feedback from
in a mock negotiation believed they were delivering your manager for a job well done and instead just
a clear message but only 26% of their partners (who being given the next task to complete.
were receiving the message) could guess what their
• Expecting a thank you call from a friend for the
goal was.17
generous gift you sent for their birthday but
Examples of intent being misunderstood: hearing nothing.
• Your boss asks how you are going with a certain • Expecting a project to be completed within
project—you think they doubt your ability to get deadline and finding it is running over.
the job done whereas they were wondering if you
Clearly, unmet expectations can trigger threats in any
needed more resources.
number of domains—the examples above include
• Two close friends go out to lunch without you—you threats around fairness, relatedness, and certainty,
assume that you have done something to upset them and possibly even status. Threats in multiple domains
but in reality they just thought you were too busy. seem to have an exponential impact, as we will see in
the next section.
• A colleague explains a technical concept to you in
great detail. They think they are being helpful and
thorough, but you feel patronised, because you’re
already perfectly familiar with that concept. What other examples have you
experienced where an unmet
expectation led to conflict?
What other examples have you

experienced where intent was
misunderstood?
17
Grant Halvorson, H. (2015) No One Understands You and What To Do
About It, Harvard Business Review Press
18
Rock, D (2009) (Not so great) Expectations: use them or be used by them,
Psychology Today
58
Working with all Stages of Conflict
The SCARF model was designed as an easy way to remember causes of social threat and reward. In a conflict,
SCARF can be used before during and after the event to help predict, regulate, and explain what is occurring.
This is the PRE model, which was introduced the article SCARF® in 201219, and covered in Brain-Based
Conversation Skills.
O AFTER
BEF RE
Predict Regulate Explain
DU
RIN G
Event / Intervention
PREDICT EXPLAIN
When a coachee becomes aware of a potential After a conflict one of the best outcomes is that the
conflict on the horizon, it can be very useful for them coachee learns from what happened and is able to
to think through the possible SCARF threats that make different choices in the future. Again, SCARF
could be causing the conflict. They can then plan to can provide a lens to help people make sense of
mitigate these. the events. This is one of the easiest ways to get a
coachee started on using SCARF to manage conflict.
REGULATE
A coachee in the midst of a conflict may enter a
threat state, which will of course impact their ability
to think clearly and reduce the chance of a resolution.
Simply helping a coachee to label which of the
SCARF domains was triggered can help dampen their
limbic arousal. The coach can also support them
to reappraise the situation, this being an even more
powerful tool for emotion regulation. Reappraisal is
reviewed later in this module.
19
Rock, D and Cox, C (2012), SCARF in 2012: Updating the Social
Neuroscience of Collaborating With Others, NeuroLeadership Journal
Issue Four
59
THE MULTIPLIER AND OFFSETTING EFFECT
We know that a threat state comes on stronger and This is useful when the threat itself can’t be eliminated,
lasts longer than a reward state in the brain. When more such as during a conflict that must be resolved.
than one SCARF domain is triggered, the level of threat
It is unlikely that high levels of threat can be
can easily become overwhelming. This is the multiplier
completely neutralised, but it is possible to
effect, and it is common in situations of conflict.
move people from an unmanageable to a more
You can, however, offset a threat in one SCARF domain manageable threat state where they are able to
by creating a reward in another, potentially turning an regain focus and think more clearly.
overwhelming threat into something more manageable.
Toward
Reward
Away
Threat
Overwhelming Manageable
Most SCARF domains in threat Some SCARF domains in reward
+ Options shut down + Peak performance for short periods
+ Reactive thinking + Engaged and motivated
+ Minimal creativity or collaboration + High focus
60
Below is a worksheet to help coachees put SCARF to work in a conflict situation. This worksheet can be used
before an anticipated conflict to plan how to mitigate threat. It can also be used after a conflict has occurred,
to help understand what the causes of social pain were. From here, the person can choose actions to offset
existing SCARF threats and move towards resolution.
SCARF® CONFLICT WORKSHEET

Conflict situation:
MOST LIKELY SCARF THREATS POSSIBLE SCARF REWARDS ACTIONS TO OFFSET
Self
Others
REGULATE WITH REAPPRAISAL

We have looked at how simply labelling the SCARF domains that are triggered in Normalising
a conflict can help reduce the coachee’s threat state, and allow them to see what
might be going on for the other person. Now we review the second form of
cognitive change that was introduced in Brain-Based Conversation Skills; Reappraisal.
Reprioritising
Reappraisal takes more mental effort than labelling, but it is also a lot more powerful
when it comes to dampening limbic arousal and opening up thinking.
The worksheet on the next page is designed to help a coachee reappraise conflict Repositioning
and then move into action. It can be used during a coaching session as the basis of a
conversation, or completed as an action between sessions.
Distancing
Reframing
61
CONFLICT RESOLUTION WORKSHEET
What do you see as the most important value or principle in this situation?
What might be the most important value or principle for the other person?
As a thought experiment, create a scenario in which the other person’s position is the correct one. Write a
paragraph about the situation imagining their thoughts and feelings. Use “I” statements, as if you are speaking
from their point of view.
Describe what a completely objective third person outside the situation might see.
What advice would you give to a friend or colleague in this situation?
Think about the wisest person you know. What advice might they give in this situation? (Feel free to actually
contact them and ask!)
List three possible benefits of resolving this situation
What is your vision of the resolution to this conflict?
What part did you play in causing this conflict? What are you willing to apologise for?
62
Notes
63
Module 16: Building Awareness
Introduction
In this final module we come back to self-awareness and meta-cognition as integral to our coaching approach.
One of the most important things we do in brain-based coaching sessions to add value is help people increase
both their self-awareness and reflection. Beyond this, we want to help coachees practice mindfulness and meta-
cognition outside of sessions. This starts to build habits during the coaching engagement and gives people tools
they can take away and use for the rest of their lives.
Various meta-analytic studies indicate that
mindfulness practice helps with a vast range of
clinical and non-clinical problems, everything from
“Mindfulness is paying attention pain management and heart disease to depression,
in a particular way: On purpose, anxiety, and stress22.
in the present moment, and Stress management is of particular relevance in a
non-judgementally”. coaching context. One report found that 26 to 40%
-Jon Kabat-Zinn of all workers feel stressed by work23, while another
study showed that around 60% of visits to doctors
stem from stress24.
Below is a review of some of the key evidence about
In Brain-Based Conversation Skills we introduced the effects of stress reduction as outlined in Dr
the direct experience network, also known as Craig Hassed’s paper Mindfulness, Wellbeing and
mindfulness, as a powerful way to regulate emotion. Performance.
In this program we revisited mindfulness as one of
the seven ingredients in The Healthy Mind Platter, Physiological benefits
where it was referred to as “Time-in.” In this module
• Decreased metabolic rate
we make the connection between mindfulness and
meta-cognition. • Lowering of cortisol and adrenalin (stress
hormones)
Most of us are familiar with the phrase “train of
thought.” In Dr Craig Hassed’s paper Mindfulness, • Increased serotonin and dopamine (happy
Wellbeing and Performance20 he makes the analogy hormones)
that we can’t control which trains (or thoughts) pull in
• Reduction in blood pressure and heart rate
at the station, but we can choose whether to board
the train. Mindfulness practices help us pause on the • Increased blood flow to the brain
platform and view the thoughts objectively, rather
• Reduction of cholesterol levels in the blood
than get swept up in their momentum.
• Improved immune function and reduced
There is good evidence that mindfulness does more
inflammation
than help us simply feel better; it actually changes the
brain. One fMRI study found that cortical thickness, • Reduced calcium loss due to lowered cortisol
the area of the brain associated with attention, self-
• Increase in alpha waves (associated with
awareness, and sensory processing, was greater in
wakeful relaxation)
meditators than non-meditators21.
20
Hassed, C. (2008). Mindfulness, Wellbeing and Performance,
NeuroLeadership Journal Issue One
64
Psychological benefits
• Improved response time and reflexes • Improved sleep and less sleep needed
• Improved sensory perception, e.g. hearing • Reduced aggression
• Decreased anxiety and depression, increased • Improved IQ and learning capability
optimism
• Improved concentration and memory
• Greater self-awareness, self-actualisation,
• Ability to change undesired personality traits
and autonomy
• Higher rating on Emotional Intelligence scales
• Reduced reliance on drugs or alcohol
THE NARRATIVE AND DIRECTIVE EXPERIENCE NETWORKS

In order to practice mindfulness and meta-cognition we need to be clear about the difference between the two
networks in the brain.
Direct
Narrative Experience
Circuitry Circuitry
Thinking / Planning
Information / Data
Strategies / Goals
Senses (feel, hear, see,
Memories / Stories touch, taste, smell)
Reasons / Limbic system Sensory motor cortex
Social network Insula (understanding
Memory system internal mental
states)
The narrative circuit, which is part of our default network, includes activities like rumination, worry, reliving the
past, and day-dreaming.
The direct-experience circuit, equating to mindfulness, is one of restful alertness, effortless attention, and
responsiveness. It is when we notice and accept thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations.
Both states serve a purpose. The ability to switch between states can be developed with sustained attention and
regular practice.
For more on the two networks, refer to the Brain-Based Conversation Skills Manual, Module 7.
21
Lazar SW, et al. Neuroreport. 2005;16(17):1893-1897
22
Gusnard DA. et al. PNAs usA 2001;98(7):4259-64.
23
National institute for Occupational safety and Health. Stress at work. DHHs
(NiOsH) Publication No. 99–101. Retrieved from: http://www.cdc.gov/
niosh/docs/99-101/
24
Kroenke, K., & Mangelsdorff, A.D. (1989). Common symptoms in
ambulatory care: incidence, evaluation, therapy, and outcome. American
of Medicine, 86, 262–266.
65
Ideas for Working with Coachees
We know that the quality of attention we pay to a • Mindfulness apps, e.g. Headspace
new habit matters. We can support our coachees by
• Awareness of your own SCARF profile, hot spots
helping them come up with self-directed activities
and filters
that create new wiring—things like writing, drawing,
visualising, and verbalising.
IDEAS TO PRACTICE META-COGNITION
The other keys to habits also apply here: we want to
• Visualise your thinking, e.g. mind-mapping, charts,
build in repetition and ensure the coachee receives
use a whiteboard
regular positive feedback about their effort and
their progress. • Use the Iceberg Model to understand how thinking
impacts results
IDEAS TO BUILD SELF-AWARENESS • Research thinking tools and choose the ones you
• Journaling and writing activities like best—there are a lot online
• Gratitude list at the end of each day
• Practice setting an intention for the day each Other Ideas
morning
• Set intentions for particular projects, events or even
relationships
• Daily mindfulness exercises, e.g. meditation, yoga
• Create triggers that remind people to be more
mindful in the moment
Awareness Tools
WHAT IS YOUR SCARF® ORDER?
SCARF PROFILE
We introduced the SCARF profile in Brain-Based Conversation Skills
SCARF DOMAIN
as a tool for understanding yourself as a coach. It can also be used
to help coachees raise their self-awareness. 1
Having a coachee reflect on their SCARF preferences can help them:
2
• Understand their own reactions and those of others
3
• Better regulate their emotions
• Better communicate their needs to others 4
• Make choices more suited to their own preferences 5
Questions to reflect on your SCARF order:

• What do your preferences tell you about yourself? • How could you apply this new knowledge in your
relationships?
• How does this explain some of your reactions in
workplace situations? • How could you apply this new knowledge in your
workplace?
• What about in social situations?
• How do you think your profile compares to your
friends, colleagues, or family members?
66
THE ICEBERG MODEL
The Iceberg model has had multiple uses over Option 1: From the top down
the years in areas including systems thinking and STEP 1: Start at the tip of the iceberg with results and
psychology. It uses the iceberg metaphor to illustrate work down by asking questions such as:
the idea that only 10% of the whole is visible with the
other 90% remaining underwater, or invisible. • What results are currently being achieved?
In coaching the visible 10% of the iceberg is the • What behaviours are driving them?
coachee’s behaviour and results, and the invisible • What feelings are associated with those actions?
90% is their thoughts and feeling. In this context
the Iceberg model can be a powerful tool to think • What thinking is supporting those feelings?
about thinking, and then consider the impact of that This can be a powerful way to uncover thoughts and
thinking. feelings that are below conscious awareness and
then make choices about more useful thoughts and
feelings.
STEP 2: From there, the coachee can move back up
the iceberg from the base to explore how they can
do things differently in the future.
Results • What are the thoughts or beliefs that would be
most useful here?
Behaviours
WATER LINE
• What feelings would you want your thoughts to
Feeling produce?
Thinking • How would that impact your behaviour?
• What results might that give you?
This basic model can be applied to many difference Option 2: From the base up
situations. The results might represent the goals the
STEP 1: Start at the base of the iceberg and work up
coachee would like to achieve and the behaviours
by asking questions such as:
are the actions they’ll take to get there. In a
conversation about a habit, the impact of the habit • What is your thinking?
would be at the tip of the iceberg while the habit • What emotions is that generating?
itself would lie just above the waterline.
• What behaviours come from those feelings?
Suggestions for using this tool • What are you achieving as a result?
It can be useful to have several printed copies of Again, this can raise awareness for coachees by
the Iceberg model to write on. Otherwise, have the helping them see the impact of their thoughts and
coachee draw an iceberg and the water line. feelings.
STEP 1: Use the model to identify the current reality. STEP 2: From there, the coachee can move back
STEP 2: Create a second model that shows the down the iceberg from the tip to identify their desired
desired outcome. outcome.
Using these two steps, the iceberg model can be • What results do you want to achieve?
completed one of two ways: From the top down • What behaviours would you need to develop to get
or from the base up—in other words, starting with those results?
results, or starting with thinking.
• What are the feelings that would help you to adopt
those behaviours?
• What thoughts or beliefs would create those
feelings?
67
Notes
68
neuroleadership.com

Brain-Based-Coaching - CoachingToolkit - ParticipantManual

Uploaded by

Document Information

Original Title

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

Brain-Based-Coaching - CoachingToolkit - ParticipantManual

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

Coaching Toolkit

Brain-Based Coaching Certificate | Part 3

Introduction 6 Module 15: 56

Working from a Growth Mindset 12 Module 12: Personal Productivity 35 Introduction 64

Module 13: Confidence Coaching 44

Theoretical Underpinnings Follow up

AWAY THREAT TOWARD REWARD

STATUS CERTAINTY AUTONOMY RELATEDNESS FAIRNESS

Facilitating New Insights ion

facilitating conversations that generate insights.

conversations at the level of vision, come from a

solutions focus, and support the coachee to adopt a

growth mindset. As always, the Dance of Insight is at

In Brain-Based Conversation Skills we introduced

STEP 1: AWARENESS OF THE HABIT

STEP 3: COMMITMENT TO CHANGE

• “What would it be like if you could change this habit?”

Work with the coachee to identify the changes

Which habit would you like to change?

Growth Mindset Worksheet

List any other beliefs that might be limiting your growth:

STEP 3. Choose your new belief

Identify one that would like to work on now.

How would you be in social situations?

How would this belief make you feel?

What is now possible in your life?

STEP 4. Embed your new belief

When would you use this tool?

SCARF DOMAIN POTENTIAL SCARF THREAT POTENTIAL SCARF REWARD

Reality: • What implementation intentions might support you

Antecedents: Before the trip

Integration: Rubber meets road

Maintenance: Cruise control

GOAL HIERARCHY EXAMPLE

“Why” Versus “How”

AWARENESS REFLECTION INSIGHT ACTION

Abundance Expertise Learning Respect

Diversity Fashion Leisure Results

Adventure Feminism Love for myself Self-control

Aesthetics Financial security Love for others Self-respect

Ambition Freedom Moral fulfillment Sensuality

Animal rights Friendship Music Self-care

Art Generosity Nature Spirituality

Attention to detail Global awareness Open communication Spontaneity

Authenticity Global peace Opening myself to love Stability

Balance Growth Optimism Storytelling

Beauty Happiness/positivity Passion Style

Kindness Harmony Patriotism Taking responsibility

Calmness Health Persistence The big picture

Challenging myself Helping others Personal expression Thinking time

Change and variety Honesty Personal growth Tidiness

Charity Honour Perspective Time

Collaboration Humour Physical challenge Tolerance

Community Imagination Play Tranquillity

Compassion Independence Pleasure Trust

Competence Influence Power Wealth

Competition Innovation Precision Wonder and awe

Courage Inspiring others Professionalism Workers’ rights

Creativity Integrity Protecting the environment Workmanship

Curiosity Intellectual status Pride

Emotional intelligence Intelligence Quality of life

Empathy Kindness Quiet times

Equality for all people Knowledge Recognition