PROLOGUE

7YEARSAGO
“Futhiwakeup.”Igroanandgobackt osleep.Ihat
e
i
twhensomeonedi st
urbsmypeacef ulsl
eep.He
shakesmeagai n,thisti
memaki ngsurethatIreall
y
wakeup.“ Wakeupmyl ove.Mypar ent
sar ehere.
”
Owwshi t,Ijumpoutoft hebed.Ilookathim hopi
ng
thathewillsayhewasj oking.Ir
unmyhands
throughmymesseduphai r.

Me:“
whatt
imei
sit
?”
Hi
m:“
iti
s10am.
”
Me:“
shi
twhydi
dn’
tyouwakemeupear
ly?
”
Him:“
youaretheonewhohat
esbei
ngwokenup
andyour
efusedwhentowakeupwhenIwokeyou
upear
li
er.
”

Irol
lmyeyesandgot othebathroom, brushmy
teet
handgeti ntheshower .Aft
ershower i
ngIdry
mybody, loti
onandgetdr essedinabel owt heknee
ti
ghtblackdress.Iheaddownst air
sandf i
ndhim
sit
ti
ngi nthelonguewi thhisparents.Igreetandsit
nexttohim.Hi smot herlooksli
keshei saboutt o
bust,IhopeIam nott hecausebuti flookscanki l
lI
would’vebeen6f eetunderthewayshei sstari
ngat
me.

HisDad:“sonwecamet ot
alkt
oyouabout
somethi
ngi mpor
tant
.”
Hi
m:“youcantal
kinfrontofFut
hif
ather
,ther
eis
noneedf
orhertoexcuseus.”
HisMom:“ whatisshetoyou?Gir
lyt
hisisaf
amily
matter
.Makeyour sel
fusef
ular
oundthehouseand
stopstari
ngatus.”Wow,shedoesn’
tknowmeyet
shedisli
keme.
Hi
m:“guysjustt
alksot
hatyoucanbeonyourway.
Wehaveplanstodaywi
thFuthi
.”
HisDad:“ wefoundawi feforyoutomar r
y.
Mat hapeloShabal
ala,
daught erofThapel
o
ShabalalaofMshenguHol dings.Thismarri
agewil
l
strengthenourbusi
nessandweneedal li
ancesl
ike
these.Itisagoodbusinessmove, thecoming
togetheroftwopowerfulfamili
es.”
Him:“butdadIhavemyowngirl
fr
iendwhoissit
ting
r
ightnexttome.WhatmakesyouthinkIwi
llagr
ee
t
oanar rangedmarri
age?
”
HisMom:“ whatdoesshebr ingstothetable?
Mat hapel
owillbebringi
ngmi l
li
onsofherfami l
y’
s
money.Yena? ”shesayslookingatmewi thdisgust
.
Iam temptedtot el
lhert
hatIam aqualif
ied
archit
ectbutIjustkeepmymout hshut
.
Hi
m:“ mom Iwil
lnotal
lowyout
odi
srespectmy
gi
rl
fr
iendl
ikethat.
”

Hi
sDad:“sonyouhavet
woopti
ons.Marr
y
Mathapel
o,mer
geMshenguHol
dingsandSi
mel
ane
Holdings,bet heCEOoft hemulti-
mill
ionair
e
companyorl oseeverything,yourinheri
tance,your
positi
oni nthecompany, yourcarsandhouses.The
ballisinyourcourt.Thinkaboutyourmovewi sel
y.”
Hest oodupandext endedhi shandst ohiswife,
“l
et’sgomyl ove.
”Shest oodupandt heyleft.
Sabel okeptquietandst aredatthefloor.

Me:“
sowhatar
eyougoi
ngt
odo?
”
Him:“whyar eyour ushingme?Ihaveever ythi
ngt o
l
oseher e.Canyouj ustkeepquiet?”wow.Ikept
quietandf ol
dedmyar mstomychest .30minutes
passedhef i
nal
lybreathedoutloudly.“HowaboutI
takeyouasmysecondwi fe?Idon’tloveMathapelo
butIdol oveyou.Iwillmarryherthenmar r
yyou. ”I
chuckledandst oodup.

Me:“li
stenhereSabelo.Iam Ntombi f
uthiCel
e.Iam
aquali
fiedarchi
tectandanengi neeri
ngundergrad.
Iam notdesperate.JustbecauseIloveyoudoesn’t
meanIwi llbesecondbestorset t
leforl
ess.Your
suggest i
onstell
smeyoul ovemoneymor ethanme.
Iwil
lmakeasi mpledecisi
onf ort
hebot hofus.Iti
s
over.Don’tcontactme,don’tcomet omyapar t
ment ,
anddon’ tbothermysibli
ngsaboutmywher eabouts.
What everthatwasgoingonbet weenthetwoofus
endsnow.Iwi l
lnotbegyout omakemeyourf ir
st
becauseyouhaveal r
eadymadeadeci si
onfor
yourselfthatwil
lbenefi
tyou.Thisisgoodbye.”

Ibreathedoutl
oudl
ywi t
htearsthr
eateni
ngtocome
out.Iwentupst
air
s,packedeveryt
hingthat
belongedtomeandl ef
thim wit
hhishousejustl
ike
that.

Thatwast helastt i
meIsawhi m.Mont hsl at
erIsaw
hisweddingi namagazi ne.Iwashear t
brokenand
shatter
ed.Ilovedhi m andgavehi m myal l.I
thoughthewi llcomebeggi ngformet ot akehim
back.Iwaswr ong.Hechosehi si nher
it
ancei nst
ead
offight
ingforourl ove.Ineverreall
ydependedon
Sabeloformysur vival
.Iwasanempl oyeeat
HlongwaArchit
ect
ssoIhadaj obandIwasst
abl
e
andcouldprovi
deformysel
f…
.
.
.
Thebegi
nni
ngofani
nter
est
ingj
our
ney
I
NTRODUCTI
ON

Thenamei sNt ombi futhiLwandlelethuCeleIam 29

yearsold.Ihave4si blings,wear efi
veal t
ogether
andIam t hesecondchi l
d.Mymot herisSijabuli
le
andmyf atherisSi yabulel
a.Thef ir
stchildis
Busisi
weDumakude( 32)(sheismar ri
ed),thethir
d
chil
disSi bulele(24)(thef i
rstson),t
hef ourthchil
d
i
sNot hando( 21)andt hel
astbor nisGcinokuhle(17)
(t
hesecondson) .Soi t’
s3gi r
lsand2boys.
Myl ovefordr
awi ng, ar
chi t
ecturet obepr eci
se,
start
edwhenIwasdoi nggr ade8, whenIwas12
yearsold.Mymot herbroughtmeadi arytowri
teal
l
thethingsIwasgoi ngt hroughasIwas
approachingteenagehoodbuti nsteadIdr ew.I
drewhouses, mansi ons,castles,br i
dges,tal
l
buil
dings.Whenmymot hersawmydi ar
y/not
ebook
sheshowedi ttomyf atherandt osayhewas
i
mpr essedwoul dbeanunder statement .Theywere
i
nt heprocessofr enovat i
ngourchi l
dhoodhomeso
theyusedoneofmysket chestogui det hem.Iwas
taughtEGDf r
om gr ade10t o12.

HenceIst udiedarchit
ectureandengi neeri
ngi n
varsit
y.Iam cur r
entl
ytheCEOandt heonl y
shareholderofDubandl elaConstructionCompany.
Iti
sami xtureofarchi
tectureandconst r
ucti
on
underoner oof
.Sowedr awanddesi gnbui l
dings
andweal sobuildthem.Wegett ender stobuild
mal l
s,schools,hospit
als,hotel
s,youcanname
them.Ther eisalsoadepar tmentf orinter
ior
designing.Ial
sodogoonsi
teandgetmyhands
di
rtysomet imes,
nott
oooft
en.Iownmycompany,
meani ngIhavenoboardmembers.

Wel lIam achubbygi rlbybirth.Ihaveneverhada

sli
m body.Bot hBusi siweandNot handohavemodel
bodi esbutmeIam yourt ypicalCel esteNt ulibody
type.Ihavecar amel skin.Idohavebi gassandbi g
boobsi t’
sjustthatIam asi ze42.Si ncepr i
mar yI
havebeenbodyshamedt osuchanext entthatin
highschoolIat tempt edtocommi tsui cidewhena
pictureofmenakedt r ended.Af teral otoft herapyI
l
eantt oacceptmysel fforwhoIam.Ihavenever
attempt edt oexerci
seorusepr oduct sforsl i
ming.I
haveshoul derlengthbr ownhai r,Istyleitallthe
ti
me, andIhar dlybraidmyhai r.Iam notaweaveor
abondi ngperson.Iam aver yflexibleper sonandI
haveki llerdancemovesl i
keBusi swa.

Oneofthewei
rdestt
hingsaboutmeisthatmyeyes
ar
eturquoi
sei
ncolor.You’
dthi
nkthatIusecont
act
l
ensesbutnoIhavenat uralwei rdeyes.Someki ds
oncespr eadt her umor sthatImayhaveSat anism
becauseofmyeyecol orbuti ttookast at
ement
from anopt omet risttoputt hoser umor stobed.I
havenocel lulit
eorst retchmar ksbutIr espect
womenwhohavet hem becauset heyarepar tof
whowear e.Inr elat i
onshipst hatIhavehadi nthe
pastmostguyswoul djustf uckandpass, they
wouldbeembar rassedt obeseenwi t
hmei npubl i
c,
theywoul dn’tpostme.Sobasi cal lyIam abed
warmerbutnotgi rlfr
iendmat erial.SoIdecidedt o
stopdat i
ngandj usthavef uckbuddi esandone
nightstands.

Il
iveal oneinmy10bedr oomshousei nWar ner
Beach.Mycompanyi ssituat
edi nAr enaPar k.My
parentsandt het
woyoungersubl i
ngsl ivein
Mor ningside.Busili
vesinNor thwestwi thher
husbandand2ki ds.Sibulel
elivesinNor thgate,
he
i
sasi nger,songwrit
erandpr oducer .Basi call
yheis
acel ebri
ty.AsIdon’ tl
ikethespot l
ight,het ri
esso
mucht okeepmeawayf rom itbutwehangout
togethermostoft
hetimesoIdomaket he
paparazziever
ynowandthen.Outofallofmy
sibl
ingsheistheoneIam cl
osestt
of ol
lowedby
Gcino.BusiandThandoneverwantedtobe
associatedwit
hmebecauseIam toobigforthem.

Myr el
ati
onshipwi thmyparentsisnotbad, not
goodeither.Wedogetal ongbutwear enotbestof
fri
endshowevert heydosuppor tmydr eamsand
theyarealwayst herewhenIneedt hem.Father
worksintheof fi
ceoftheMayorofDur baninthe
fi
nancedepar tmentandmot herissalesmanagerat
SMGi nBallit
o.
WellIam blacksuccessfult
hickwomanandIhave
l
eantthatpeopl ebodyshamingmewon’ tmakemy
bankaccountf atter
.Sorat
herignor
ethem andl
i
ve
mylifet
ot hefullest
.
CHAPTER1
PRESENTDAY
Iwakeupi nthemor ni
ng, washmyf ace,brushmy
teethandconnectmyphonet omyBl uetooth
speakert oplaymymor ningjam from Spotif
y.Ilove
musi csoalmostever ytimewhenyoucomet omy
houseyouwi llfi
ndmel isteni
ngtomusi c.Imake
thebed, opent hecur t
ainsandwi ndowswhi le
dancingt othemusi c.It akeoutmyout f
itforthe
dayf rom mywal ki
ncl osetwhi chisaf l
oral
umbr ell
askirtandr edshi rtwit
hr edhotlace-up
pointedtoeheel s.Ilaythem nicelyonmybedand
got othekitchen.Imakemycupofcof f
eedr i
nkit
andpr epareforwor k.

AfterIam donewitheveryt
hingIheadoutthef
ront
doorandIam metbymyhousekeeperKgomot so.
SheusuallysleepsoutonSundays.Weexchange
greeti
ngsandIheadt othegarageanddri
veoutmy
si
lvergreyAmar okdoublecabwithacanopyto
wor k.Iam abi ggir
lsoIl ovebi gcarsandIhave
l
otsofbi gcar s.Iarr
iveatwor kandparkatmy
usualpar kingspot .Itakemyl apt
opbag,handbag,
drawi ngstor agetubewhi chcar ri
esmysketches
andgetoutoft hecar .Il
ocki tandheadinsi
dethe
buil
di ng.Iam metbymyf oreversmili
nggay
recept i
onist.Hisnamei sLindanibuthehas
convincedal mostever yonet ocallhi
m Li
ndsay.

Me:“
mor
ningLi
ndsay.
”OhhIal
socal
lhi
mthat
.
Him:“morni
ngMissJi
llScott
.”Healwayscal
lsme
thatandhei
sfor
eversmili
ngifheisn’
tbei
ng
dramati
c.
Me:“
howwasyourweekend?
”hest
art
sfanni
ng
hi
mself
,owwboyher
eitcomes.
Him:“gi
rli
twasl i
t.Wewer etherewi
thaboSomi zi,
aboStha,gi
rlIam tel
li
ngyou, youmi
ssedout
shame.NexttimeIam dr aggi
ngyoutotheclub.We
can’
thaveyoucoopedupi nthatmansi
onofyour s.
Youmustgetl ai
d.Whoknowsmaybeyouhave
tur
nedavirginagain.
”Ilaughsohard.Ther
eis
neveradullmomentwi t
hthisone.ButIt
hinkhei
s
ri
ghtaboutthevi
rginpart
.Idon’
tevenremember
thelastt
imeIgotlai
d.

Me:“what
everbit
ch,sowhereisBobo?”BoboifI
am notmi
stakenishisboyf
ri
endorfl
ing,Idon’
t
know.
Hi
m:“Idumpedhi sbr
okeassf
ortheweekend,he
wascock-
blocki
ngmeFuthyandIcoul
dn’tdeal
.”
Me:“ youknowwhatwewi llconti
nuet hi
schatsome
othertimeandmaybeIwi lltakeyouupont hatcl ub
offer
.”Iwalktotheelevatorleavinghi m scr
eami ng
myname.Lonwabo, theCFOr ushest ot
heel evator
beforeitcl
oses.Hepr esseshi sfloorandmi net oo.I
dohavemyownpr ivateelevatorwhi chIonlyuse
whenIam noti ngoodmood, angr y,
sickorwhen
thereisanemer gency.

Hi
m:“
howar
eyoudoi
ngboss?
”
Me:“
li
fei
sgood.Howar
eyou?
”
Hi
m:“
Iam overt
hemoon.TheMr
s.i
spr
egnant
.”
Me:“wowthat’
sawesomeman.Congrats.Who
knows,maybeyoumightear
nyoursel
fapater
nit
y
l
eaveifIam i
ngoodmood.”Hisf
aceli
ghtsup.
Hi
m:“
real
ly?You’
ddot
hatf
orme.
”
Me:“IsaidImi ghtnowgett owor k.
”Isayast he
el
evatoropensathi sf l
oor.Hechuckl esandst eps
out.I
tclosesagai nandopensonmyf l
oor.Yeah
youheardt hatIhavemyownf loor.Idon’
tlikenoise
whenIam wor king,Ipref
ermyownspace.
Alt
houghIshar eitwithmyPAbuti t’
sbetterthan
shari
ngwi ththeempl oyees.Ientermyof ficeandI
fi
ndmybr eakfastandcof f
eeonmydesk.Il ovemy
PAsomuch.Sheget sme, sheunder st
andsmeand
sheknowsmei nandout .Isitonmydeskandst art
eati
ngmybr eakfast.Sheget si
nt hedoor.

Zanel
e:“
mor
ningboss.Howwasyourweekend?
”
Me:“
sameol
dsameol
d.Howwasyour
s?”
Her
:“good.
”
Me:“
sowhat
’shappeni
ngt
oday?
”
Her
:“youar
emeet
ingPr
inceKuhl
eZul
u.”
Me:“TheePr
inceKuhl
eZul
u?Thef
utur
eki
ngoft
he
Zul
uKingdom?”
Her
:“yept
hatone.
”
Me:“
whatdoeshewant
?”
Her:“
foryoutodesi
gnhisfamil
yhomeandahome
hewouldstayatonceheiscrownedKing.Andf
or
yourt
eam toputyourvi
sioni
ntoacti
on.”
Me:“
wowthat
’sgr
eat
.Iti
ssuchanhonor
.Sowhen
ar
ewemeeti
nghim?”
Her
:“i
n30mi
nut
es.
”
Me:“okay.Setuptheboar
droom pl
ease.Idon’
t
wanthiscolognei
ntoxi
cat
ingmyoffice.
”She
l
aughsandt henheadsout.

Ihaveneverworkedwithroyal
tybefor
esoforme
thi
sisnewandexci t
ing.Andthefactt
hatIwi
llbe
desi
gningthef
uturepalaceiti
ssoawesome.My
i
nnergoddessi sdoingThusoPhal a.30minutes
l
aterZahcomest omyof fi
cesayinghehasar ri
ved
andhebr oughthi
swi f
eal ongwithafewguar ds.No
off
encebutPr i
ncessZul uisyourtypi
calt
rophywi f
e
whol ooksli
keshehassnobbi shtendenci
es.Ijust
hopeshewon’ thavesil
lydemands.Igettot he
boardroom wit
hmyt abletandsitdownafter
exchanginggreet
ingswiththem.

Me:“soPr
inceZul
umyPAtel
lsmeyouwantmet
o
desi
gn2ofyourhomes?
”
Him:“yeaht hat’
sbasical
lyi
tandpleasecallme
Kuhle.”Hesayswi t
hasmi l
e.Thewiferoll
shereyes.
OhhhowIwi shLindsaywasalsoattendi
ngthis
meeting.He’dknowhowt odealwithher.He
soundssopol i
teforafut
ureking,
Ihavenodoubt
theZululandwi l
lbeingoodhandsunderhi srei
gn.

Me:“soKuhlecanyougi vemeacl earvi

ewofwhat
youwantandwher eexactlywil
lyoubebuil
ding
thesehomes?”Iaskwithaf r
iendl
ysmileonmy
f
ace.
Him:“wel
lthefi
rstonewi
llbeateMandlanzi
nijust
outsi
deRichar
dsBayandt hesecondonewillbeat
KwaNongoma, Enyokeni
.”
Me:“soyourvi
sionont
hefi
rstone?Youwanta
dr
amat i
cUmhlangamansi
onoryourhomely
mansion?”

Him:“ wellIhaveli
vei ntheci t
yfortool ongsoIam
toretiretoeMandlanzi niandhavepeacenj e.Idon’t
wantadr amatict
ri
pl estoryhouse.Iwantahybr i
d
house.Amansi onbutwi thatouchoft heZul u
culture.Youknowt hoseNdebel ehomeswi th
colorfuldesi
gnsout side?”Inod.“Yeahsomet hing
l
iket hatbuttheZulucul ture.I
tmustal sohavea
rondavelbutnotyourol dfashionedrondavel ,
a
moder none.”Thewi f
ecl earsherthroat.

Her
:“canwediscusstherondavelissuehoney?I
am notdi
sput
ingitbutcanweputonhol dthe
maybewecanbui l
dityearsl
ater?
”
Hi
m:“ whoi
spayingforthesehouses?
”Nya.
Awkward.“
Thoughtso.SoMaCel edoyouseemy
vi
sion?”
Me:“
yesandIal
readyhaveapi
ctur
eofyourhouse
i
nmind.
”
Him:“itmusthaveabout10bat hroomsanda
garaget hatcanaccommodat e8car s.”Ohhwowso
manycar s.“yahIhavemanycar sandIknowt hey
won’tfitinthisgaragesoot herswi llbet r
ansport
ed
toNongoma. ”Hesmi rksandInodandj otdowna
fewnot es.Hei sverycharmi ng,Iwoul dn’tmind
bei
nghi s2ndwi fe,j
ustkidding.“Ineedi ttobea
doublest ory.Ial
sowantabasement ,
mancavel ike,
butwewi lldi
scussallit
sf eatur
esoncet hehouse
hasbeenbui lt
.”

Me:“
andt
hesecondone?
”
Him:“yes,Iwanti
ttohaveahugemai nhouseal so
wit
hat ouchofourcult
ure.I
tmusthaveabout20
bedrooms.1ancestor
s’rondaveli
nthebackyard
andanotheronejustf
orcontrol
.Alsoi
sibayaforthe
cowsandal sothegoat s.Afencet hatcovers
everyt
hing.Iactual
lywantanAf r
icancastle,
aft
er
allIam t
obeKi ng.”Somanybedr ooms, t
hisisa
hotelnotahouse.Ihaveneverdesi gnedacastl
e
beforesothisisagr eatchal
lengef orme.

Wife:“what
’swithyouandrondavel
shoney?What
happenedtool dfashi
onedfl
atsormaybe2
bedroom fl
ats?Whyar eyoul
oosingyour
sel
fbabe?
”
Him:“Ihaveameet ingacrosstowni nanhour.I
don’
thavet i
mef oryourwhining.Yousaidyou
wantedtobepr esenttot
hismeet ingnott
omake
yourpresencetobeheardsopl easedon’twastemy
ti
meandhert ime.”Hesayspoi nti
ngatme.“ So
whencanIgett hesketchesNkosazana? ”

Me:“
nextweekTuesday.Setupal
unchmeet
ing
wi
thZah.
”
Hi
m:“
wil
ldo.
”
Me:“
What
’syourbudget
?”
Hi
m:“
nobudget
.”Mmm abo8f
igur
esmadoda.
Me:“ okayIguesst hatconcludesourmeeti
ng.If
youf eell
ikeyouhavel eftoutsomedetai
lsonyour
explaini
ngf eelfr
eetocont actmeduri
ngtheweek
toaddal sof eelf
reetocomeandcheckont he
progress.Pleasedosendmet hemeasur
ement sof
thesiteswher ewewoul dbebui l
ding.
”
Hi
m:“
wil
ldo.
”Ist
andupandt
heyal
sost
andup.
Me:“
Iwi
llbewai
ti
ngf
ort
hem.
”
Kuhle:“Iam tr
usti
ngyoungekhayalami.Yourwor
k
speaksf ori
tsel
f.Ihopeaf
teryou’
vedonewithmy
housest henwecanmaybei nthenearfutur
ework
together.
”
Me:“t
hatwouldbeawesomeKuhl
e.Nihambe
kahl
e.”Weshakehandsandt
heyl
eave.ZahandI
headbackt
omyof fi
ce.

Zah:“damnMr .Kistense.Heputshiswi
feinher
pl
ace.Phelathatwomanhasnomanner sandhas
norespectforanyone.Iam act
ual
lysur
pri
sedthat
shei
sthi
sobedi
entt
ohi
shusband.
”
Me:“
howdoyouknowher
?”
Zah:“ mysisterworksasthei
rmaid.Shesaysallt
he
Mr s.Doesisj ustsi
tanddri
nkchampagnewithher
fri
ends,got oclubs.Shedoeswhatevershel
ives.
Shel i
vesal i
feofasi ngl
ewomanandshei sa
terri
bleboss.”
Me:“
wel
lIam gl
adIwon’
tbewor
kingwi
thher
.”
Zah:“
meandyoubot
hboss.
”Webot
hlaugh.

Sheheadst oherofficeandIst artwithtoday’swork.

Noma, mybest -
fr
iend,textsmet elli
ngmeabout
l
unch.Icont inuewor ki
ngandwhenl unchtime
approachesIt akemyhandbag, phone,walletand
headoutt omeetheratMcDonal ds.Ifi
ndher
alr
eadyther eandIt akeaseataf t
erexchanging
greet
ingsandhugs.Sheor deredbef oreIarri
ved
becausesheknowswhatIl i
ke.Thewai t
erbrings
ourfoodt othetable.Iwonderhowmuchshepai d
tobeser ved.Sheisaver ypunctualperson.Wemet
atvarsi
ty,wedi dthesamecour sebutsheal sodid
LLBsoshei
sanadvocat
e,Advocat
eNomal
anga
Biyel
a.

Noma:“yohBoot yyouwillneverbel
ievewhat
happenedthi
sweekend? ”DidIment i
ont hatsheis
alsoapart
yfreak?Shealsocal l
sme‘ Booty’
becauseIhaveabi gbutt
.Shei sver
ydr amatic,
therear
eaveryfewmoment swher eshedoesn’ t
actli
keagayonst eroi
ds.
Me:“l
etmeguess,youmetyourmatch?
”she
al
waysgoclubbi
ng,meetaguy,f
uckforamaxof4
daysandshepasseson.Ift
hedi
ckisgoodshecan
stayf
or2weeks.Shehatescommit
ment.
Noma:“ howdi dyouknow?”webothlaugh.
“Anywayst hisonei
stheone.Icanfeeli
tinmy
bones.”Ilaughbecausei
tisal
wayst hesamet
hing
withher.
Me:“ howishisdickgame? ”shestar
tsfanni
ng
herselfandspreadsherlegstofanhercooki
e.You
see,dramati
ctendencies.
Noma:“
11/
10Boot
y.Damnt
hatguybr
okemy
virgi
nityal loveragai n.Itwasl ikeit’
sthef i
rsttimeI
am havi ngsex.Hi smachi neyoh.Thef actt hathis
dickissol ong, sot hi
ck,itfil
lsme, compl etesme
andt hef actt hatheknowshowt ouseit.Theways
hemoveshi swai st,OhGodIj usthadanor gasm
justthinkingabouthi m.Her ippedmynanaapar t
bruh.”Il aughandshegi ggles.Damnshehasr eal
ly
methermat ch.“Boot yIam t el
lingyou,hedoesn’ t
evenhavet hatbodyt hatdrivesmecr azy,the
muscl es, theabs.Nohei sjustski nnybutnott oo
skinny.Ei shIdon’ tknowhowt odescr i
behi m
anymor e,itwoul dbebesti fyouseehi mf or
yourself.”Ichokei nmyshake.

Me:“saywhatnow? !”shehasneverint
roducedher
fl
ingstome.Mai nl
ybecausesomet i
messhe
doesn’
tevenr emembertheirnamesandsheknows
i
tisnotthatseri
ous.Iam li
keaparenttoher.Toher
myappr ovalmeansal ot
.
Noma:“
anywayst
het
hingi
shei
sawai
ter
.”
Me:“
so?Doyouwantaser
iousr
elat
ionshi
pwi
th
sui
tornumber147?
”webothl
augh,ofcour
seshe
hasn’
tsleptwi
thmoret
hanahundr
edmenbutnje.
Noma:“ Idon’tknowwhataseri
ousrelat
ionshipis.I
don’tknowifIwannaendmyst ress-
fr
eel i
feaguyI
j
ustmet .GoshIhaveneverbeenconfli
ctedliket
his
beforeBooty,whatshoul
dIdo?”whyissheaski ng
forarelat
ionshipadvi
cefr
om asingl
eper son?
Me:“youareaskingthewrongpersonnana.Let’
s
gotoLindelwa,
shewi l
lknowwhatt odo.
”Lindel
wa
i
sourf r
iendwhohappenst obeat her
api
st.We
al
waysaskf oradvi
cefrom herwhenweat
cr
ossroads.
Noma:“
soundsl
ikeapl
an.
”

Wegettoourcar sandheadt oherof

fi
ce.Luckil
y
wefi
ndt hatherl
unchhourwi l
lbeoveri
n10
mi
nutes,sowewi llusethi
stimetoouradvantage.
Webargei nheroffi
ceandfindherst
uff
ingherself
wi
thpizza.
Noma:“uphangel
ani?Akekhoozokucel
ayoh.Speed
ki
ll
sLee.”Shewipeshermouth,dr
inksherjui
ceand
si
tbackinherchair
.Wesitint
hevisit
ors’
chairs
andstar
eather.
Lee:“
letmeguesst
hisai
n’tasoci
alvi
sit
?”
Me:“
youdon’
tdot
hosesowhyshoul
dwe?
”
Lee:“geesyouwon’ tevencomfortmewithli
esat
l
east.Bribemewi th6-packnyanayaFlyi
ngFish.
Thekindoff r
iendswekeep. ”Wealll
augh.Wedon’t
dosocialvisi
tsatwor kbecauseweareverybusy
people.Weonl ybargeineachother’
soff
iceswhen
wehaveemer gencies.
Noma:“i
t’
saMondaybit
ch,
wemi ghtbedr
unkar
ds
butMondaysbel
ongt
oGod,ri
ght
?”what?
Lee:“dudeSundaysbelongtoGod.Idon’
tgot
o
churchbutIdoknowt hat.
”
Noma:“Imustgetmyfact
sstrai
ght
.Ihavej
ust
embar
rassedmyself
.Iam anembarr
assmentt
othe
Jar
gonworld.
”Welaughather.
Lee:“
sowhat
’son?
”
Me:“
shet
hinksshei
sinl
ove.
”Isaypoi
nti
ngat
Nomawit
hmyeyes.
Lee:“
sameol
dsameol
d.”Shesaysr
oll
inghereyes.

Noma:“nothi
sti
meit’
sdiff
erent
.Iam ser
ious,
it’
s
di
ffer
ent.Hei
ssogoodinbedandhasagenui ne
heart
.Ievenr
ememberhisname.HeisKhanya
Mlambo.Buthei
sawai t
erTase.”
Lee:“what’
swr ongabouthi m beingawai ter
?”here
i
tcomes.Nomashr ugs.“ Wear eint he21stcent ury
Tasewher ether ear eindependentwomen
everywhere.Al t
hought henor mi st hemani s
‘
supposed’ toear nmor et hanawomani norderto
berespectedbutt hati snoti t
.Respecti snotbased
onmonet aryt hingsori phaket hel omunt u.You
chooset orespectaper son.Don’ tsuf f
erfrom the
‘
abant ubazothinisyndr ome’ Tase.Uf undilewena
fort
hatbul l
shit( you’reeducat ed).Ot herpeople’s
uselessopinionsshoul dn’ tmatter.Dateyourwai ter,
behappy.If oroneappr oveyourr el
at i
onshipandI
am happyt hatyouf inallyfoundl ove.Lovei sa
beautif
ulthingandi tcanbef oundintherarest
places.Forexampl eapast orcanf i
ndlovei
na
drunkard.Peoplemayj udgeandt al
kallbul
lshit
aboutthem buti fi
tistruelovethepastorwillst
and
upf orthei
rlove.Nawei fyout hi
nkit’
struel
ovet hen
screwever ybody.Itisaboutyouandyour
happinessTase. ”

Me:“
yousee?Iwasn’
tgonnasayhal
ftheshi
tshe
j
ustment
ioned.
”Wealll
augh.
Noma:“ IguessIknowwhatt odonow.Imeanwho
caresifIhave7figuresonmypersonalaccount.I
mustgogetmyman. ”Wehypeher.“
Ireall
yhavea
goodf eel
ingaboutthis.Sohel
pmeGod.”Af t
er
chatt
ingaboutotherthingswegobacktoourj obs.
.
.
.
PLEASEshowsomel
ovebyl
iki
ng,
comment
ingand
shar
ing
[
03/
09,
07:
46] :CHAPTER2

Thenextdayiti
sworkasusual.Afterl
uncht
ime
someonebargesinmyoff
icewhi l
eIam busyonmy
drawi
ngboardwitht
heZuluproject.

Me:“thedooristheref
orareason.Youknock, you
aregivenpermissi
onthenyouenter.Simplemat h.
”
Ihatebeingdist
urbedwhenIam inmydr awi ng
boardbecauseonceIloseconcentrat
ionitishard
togetbacktowhatIwasdoi ngbeforeIwas
dist
urbed.
Mrs.Zul
u:“Idon’thaveti
mef ort hat.Iwannat alk
busi
ness.
”Shesi tsdownont hevi sitor
’schairand
pl
acesherdesignerbagonmyt able.Iraisemy
headandlookstraighti
nhereyes.Ther easonwhyI
havemyownf l
ooristhatIdon’twantunexpect ed
vi
sitor
s.Wher
ethefuckisZahwhenyouneedher
?I
standupfr
om myseatandgositonthechai
r
behindmydesk.Ist
areather
.
Me:“
owwpleasetakeaseat,makeyour
sel
f
comf
ort
abl
e.”Isaysar
cast
icall
y.
Her:“
youbett
erdropyourst
inkyat
ti
tudeormy
husbandandItakethebusi
nessel
sewhere.
”
Me:“ther
ei sthedoor ,
takeyourpr oj
ectelsewhereI
don’
tgiveaf uck.IknowIam t hebestatwhatIdo
soIwon’tbeg. ”Ihatespoilthousewives.They
al
waysmakemywor kdi f
fi
cultwhenbui l
ding
houses.I
nf actIhateclientswhot hi
nkIwi llgo
hungrywithouttheirmoney.Sher ol
lshereyes.
Her:“anywaysIwantyoutocancelt
herondavel
s
andIwantyout odesi
gnaTuscanmansi on.I
beli
eveyouknowwhati ti
s.”Ir
eal
lyhat
ehertype.I
fakeasmi l
e.
Me:“anyt
hingyouwantMr
s.Zul
u.Nowi fyoumay
pl
easeexcusemeIhaveaTuscansketchesto
dr
aw.”Shestandsupandt
akesherbag.
Her
:“gl
adwecoul
dcomet
oanagr
eement
.”She
sayswit
hasmil
eandheadsoutwi t
hherheels
echoi
ngint
hewhol
eoffi
ce.BITCH!Zahrushesin
myoffi
cewit
haworr
iedexpressi
on.

Zah:“
bossIam sosorr
y.Iwasgetti
ngyourr
eport
fr
om themarket
ingt
eam.Ididn’
tevengotol
unch.”
Me:“noneedtoapol
ogi
zeZah.Pleaseorgani
zea
di
nnermeeti
ngwithKuhl
e.Ungi
jwayelakabiumf
azi
wakhe.
”
Zah:“onitboss.Hereisyourr
epor
t.
”Shehandsme
therepor
tandl eave.

Icontinuedr awingandwhent heclockhi t

s4pm I
foldmydr awings,takemyhandbag, phoneandcar
keysandheadt oZah’soffi
ce.Zaht ell
smet hat
Kuhlewi llbeablet omeetmeat7pm atar est
aurant
.
Iheadhomeandt akeabath.AfterbathingIgoto
mybedr oom andsi tinmybed.Kgomot soenters
myr oom andser vememyl at
elunch, whichisa
chickenandmayosandwi chwi t
hguavaj ui
ce.Ieat
thentaket hedishest othekit
chen.
Igobackt othebedroom tot akeoutcl othest hatI
wil
lbewear i
ngatt hedinner.Itakemysket ches
andgentlyunfoldthem inmydr awingt able(Ihave
oneinmyr oom too,incaseIgeti nspi
rationdur i
ng
thenight
).Isetandalarmf or6:15pm andcont i
nue
withmydr awing.Iam verypassi onatewi thmyj ob,
soevenwhenIam busyImakesur eIfindt imeto
doit.

At6:15Ist opwor ki
ngandst artgett
ingready.Ido
mymake- upandwearmycur l
yweavewhi l
eplaying
Lizzo-GoodAsHel l
.Iwearmybl ackandwhi t
e
stri
pesdr ess,denimjacketandnudebl ockheels.I
putonmycol ogne, t
akemyhandbag, phone,car
keysandheadoutaf t
erlocki
ngt hedoor.Iheadto
therestaurantandIar r
ivether
e10mi nutesl
ate.

If
indKuhl
einsideandImustsayi fhewasn’t
marri
edIwouldhavehim evenfor1nightbecause
Godthepri
nceisfi
ne.Henot i
cesmewal ki
ng
t
owar
dshi
m andqui
ckl
yst
andsup.

Kuhle:“MaCelehowareyou?”hesaysextendi
nghi
s
hand, Ishakei
tandheopensthechai
rforme.
Gentlemanmuchhuh.Isitdownandheal sosit
s.
Me:“
Iam okay,
howar
eyouKuhl
e?”
Hi
m:“
Iam f
ine.
”Isi
gnalawai
ter
.
Me:“i
fyoudon’tmindIam f
amishedsowewi l
ltal
k
whil
eIam eat
ing.
”Hechuckles.Thewai
terar
ri
ves
atourt
abl
e.
Hi
m:“
Idon’
tmi
nd.
”
Me:“ hi
,I
’dli
ket ohave¼gr i
ll
edchi
ckenwit
haper
i-
perisauce,andalsoGreeksaladonthesi
deanda
moj i
tococktai
l.AndfordesertI
’
dli
keOreo
Truffl
es.
”
Kuhl
e:“
I’
dli
ket
hesamemai
ncour
sewi
thCast
lel
it
e
dumpy.
”
Wai
ter
:“comi
ngr
ightupyourmaj
est
y.”hel
eavesus.
Me:“
Cast
leLi
te,
real
ly?Iwasexpect
ingt
her
egul
ar
‘
scot
chont herocks’bever
age.
”Helaughs.Hehas
abeaut
if
ullaughter
.OwwFut hygetyourmindof
f
t
hegutt
er,heistaken.
Kuhl
e:“sor
rytodisappoi
nt.
”Ichuckl
eandgo
st
rai
ghttobusiness.
Me:“
Iwon’tbedesi
gningandbui
ldi
ngyourhouses
Kuhl
e.”Hi
sfacefal
ls.
Hi
m:“
what
?Why?
”Ncoohhei
ssocut
eri
ghtnow.
Me:“ Idon’thavetimet odealwithyourspoil
twife.I
am abusi nesswoman.Busi nesscomet omeIdon’ t
gooutl ookingforit.Idon’
tbegacl i
ent.Iwasreally
l
ookingf orwardtobui l
dingyourhomesbutnoI
don’thavet i
met odealwi t
har ealhousewifeof
Durban.Iam r eal
lygoodatmyj obsoIhat eitwhen
Ihavet odealwi t
hpeopl eli
keherorbe
disr
espect edinmywor kplace.
”Her ubshishands
i
nhi shead.Youcanseet hatheishavinginner
confli
ct.
Hi
m:“
whatdi
dshedo?
”
Me:“
shecamet omyoff
ice,
under
minedmyjob.
Shet
hinksshecansayj
umpandI’dbeli
ke‘
How
Hi
gh?
’owwpl
ease.Iam notl
ikeever
yone.
”
Hi
m:“Iam sor
ryforherbehavi
or.Justpleasedon’
t
dr
opthecontr
act
.Iwilldoanyt
hing.”Idon’tl
ikei
t
whencl
ient
sbeg.Iexhale.
Me:“ fi
nebutpl easekeepyourwi feonal eashor
shewi llbebannedf rom enter
ingmybui lding.”The
wai t
erbr i
ngsthef ood.“Fi
nall
y,Iwasbegi nningto
thi
nkyoumi splacedourf oodoryoudi dn’tputinthe
order.”Isayinaf unnymannersot hathewon’ tt
ake
offence.Hejustchuckl es.
Wait
er:“pl
easedoenj
oyyourfoodandifther
ei s
anyt
hingelseyouwoul
dli
ke,Iam atyourser
vice.”
Me:“whatifIwantyouonasi lverplatter
?”hiseyes
popoutandIt akeasipofmycockt ail
.Icansee
thatKuhl
eisalsoshocked.Ibur stoutlaughi
ng,
goshyoushoul dseet
heirfaces.“YohIam ki ddi
ng.
Wear eokayfornow,youmayl eave.”Hequickly
rushestowherehecamef rom leavingmel aughing
myassout .
Kuhle:“
wow,j
ustwow.
”Ismi
rkathi
m andst
art
eat
ingmyfood.
Wet alkaboutlessser ioust hingswhi leeating.Heis
averyf unnyguy.I ’
dkeephi m ar oundasaf ri
endif
hewer en’tmarried.Phel amar ri
edmenar en’t
supposedt ohavesingl ef emalef r
iends.They
alwaysr ai
sesuspi cionsandt heycanmaket he
mar r
iedwomenpar anoi d.ButI’dalsohatef ormy
futur
ehusbandt obecl osef r
iendswi thasi ngle
woman.Iam onesoIknowwegett hir
styand
hungrysomet i
mes.Andt hatthirstcanleadt obig
mistakest hatmightbr eakupmar ri
ages.

Kuhl
e:“
sodoyouhavesomeonei
nyourl
if
e?”
Me:“nah.Thi
sonetimeIwasquar t
ert
oget
ti
ngmy
happyendingbuti
tallwentpoof
.”
Hi
m:“
whathappened?
”
Me:“
arrangedmarr
iageshit
,theasshol
echose
i
nher
it
anceoverourlove.
”
Hi
m:“wowIam sor
ryyoumetaspinel
essman.
”I
l
aughathi
m.“
Soyouar esi
ngl
e?”
Me:“ notreall
y.Iam marri
edt omyj obandmy
company.Idedi cat
esomucht i
meandef for
tinit
thatIhavenot i
met oworryaboutnotbeingina
rel
ati
onshi p.IfIhaveanit
ch, If
indsomeonet otake
careofit,anyone.Ifheisgoodf uckbuddymat eri
al
Ikeephi m around.Ifhecatchesfeeli
ngsIcuthim
off.
”
Hi
m:“wowIhavenevermetawomanl i
keyou.
I
ndependent,r
ichanddoesn’tgi
veadamnabout
r
ecei
vinglovefrom aman.”
Me:“Idoreceivel
ovefr
om malefi
guresi
nmyl i
fe.
Mydadandmybr ot
her
sbutthat
’sj
ustit
.Your
gendercanbeassholesmostofthet
ime,no
off
ence.”Helaughs.
Hi
m:“non-t
aken.Ijustl
oveyourhonest
yandyou
ar
eabreathoffreshair
.Ij
ustwishwecandothi
s
moreof
ten.
”
Me:“ nocandoyourhighness.Wedon’twishthe
publictohavethewrongimpressi
onandyourwi f
e
attacki
ngme.Idokickasssoyouwi llbe
responsibl
efornur
singherwounds.”Helaughsand
event
hrowhi
sheadbackwar
d.
Hi
m:“MaCelewehavetohangoutagai
n.Youar
e
f
unnyandfuntohangaroundwi
th.
”
Me:“ youknowwhat ?Wecansetupadat ewhere
wecanj ustchillatmycr ib.Youcanbr ingyour
fri
endsandIcanbr i
ngmi ne.That’
sallIcanof f
er.
”
Hef l
asheshi smi l
li
ondollarsmile.GuysIswear
thisprinceisal adies’manandIam pr ett
ysurehe
knowshehasachar mingsmi l
e.Just1ni ght
,1
nightbahlali
, t
hat’sallIaskforfrom t
hel ordbutI
don’tdomar ri
edmansohi slossforthebestsexof
hisentireexistence.
Him:“that’
sfinewithme.Ialsowantyout odesign
ahousef orme.Itisgoingtobemyescapehouse,
anentiremancave, asecrethouse.Iti
sgoingtobe
buil
tonasecl udedarea.Iwantittohavea
basementandal owerbasement.Itmustalsohave
asafer oom orpanicr
oom aspeopl ecalli
t.
”Ir
aise
mybr ows.
Me:“ar
eyousomeki
ndofagangst
erKuhl
e?”he
chuckl
es.
Hi
m:“nobutIdolikesomeme- t
imeandIam a
f
utur
eking,
Ihavegott ohaveasecretpl
ace.When
i
tcomestoconstruct
ionIwil
lneedveryfewguys
whom yout
rustdearl
ywhowi l
lbuil
dit.
”
Me:“youar ereal
lyagangst
er.Denyi
tal
lyouwant
.
Idon’tcarebecauseIam nocopbutwena
uyi
ginsa.”Helaughsandshrugs.

Wefini
shourdi
nnerandpartways.Iwasn’
treal
ly
goi
ngtodropKuhl
e,Iknewhe’dbegbutIwanted
hi
mt okeephi
swifeonatightl
eash.
Iarr
iveathomeandgostr
aightt
omybedroom.I
undress,
wearmyshortsi
lkni
ghtdr
essandgeti
nto
bed.Iswit
chof
fthesi
delampandstrai
ghtt
oLal
a
l
andIgo.

*
*NARRATED*
*
Kuhlearr
ivedathi
shousepissedashel
l.Lucki
lyhi
s
kidswerealr
eadysleepi
ng.Hewentt
ocheckon
them t
henwenttothemai nbedr
oom.Hi
swi fewas
onSkypewithhismot heri
nlaw.Shecont i
nued
speaki
ngli
keherhusbanddi dn’
tjustwalkin.he
wenttothebathroom,tookaquickshower, came
outanddri
edhi mself
,worehisboxersandj oined
hiswif
einthebed.Bynowshewaschecki ngout
Inst
agram.Kuhleclear
edhisthroat
.

Kuhl
e:“St
habi
lewhatwer
eyoudoi
ngatDubandl
ela
CCtoday?
”
Sthah:“
who?Me?Iwasneverther
e.Whosai
dIwas
ther
e?”shesai
davoi
dingeyecont
act
.
Kuhle:“
soyou’
resayingMissCel
eisal i
ar?You
didn’
tgotoheroff
iceanddemandthatshechanges
thesket
chesofthehousesint
oyourstyl
e?”
Sthah:“
sheislyi
ngmylove.Whywoul
dIgot
her
e?”
shesaidfaki
ngasadtone.
Kuhle:“I
fyousaysot henokay.”Heturnsandf
ace
theotherway.“Wewi l
ljustgotomorr
owandaskfor
theCCTVf ootagetoseewhoi swrong.”He
swit
chesof fhissi
delamp.Shepanics.
St
hah:“
fi
neIwentt
her
e.Iam sor
rymyl
ove.
”
Kuhle:“whydoyoul i
kepoki
ngyourheadwhereit
doesn’tfi
t?AyymanwhydoIhavet orecei
ve
complainsaboutmyspoiledwif
efr
om ti
met oti
me?
Youar eti
ringshame.Youareacompanyyoursel
f.
”
St
hah:“
Iam sor
ryl
ove.
”
Kuhle:“
savei
tforsomeonewhocares.
”He
swit
chesoffhi
ssidelampandcl
oseshiseyes.

*
*BACKTOFUTHY*
*
Iwakeupt hefol l
owingmor ning,dot heregular
mor ni
nghygi enepr ocess.Idomymake- upand
wearmy14i nchcur lyhai r
.Iwearmybl acksl imfit
pants,nudel ongsl eevepepl um andbl ackpenci l
heels.It
akemybl ackhandbagandheadout .If eel
sogood, li
keIj ustgotoutf r
om aphot oshoot .Iget
i
ntomyr edAst onMar tinDBXandheadt owor k
whileli
steningt oYehl aMoyaRemi xbyDaCapo.
Thissongmakesmewannaf astforwardt oFr i
day.I
am sogoi ngcl ubbingt hisFridayandIam goi ngto
persuademyf riendst ogowi thme,nott hatthey
needanypersuasionbecausetheyarealways
game.Igettowor k,par
kmycari nmypar ki
ngspor
t
andlockitaf
tergett
ingout
.Igettotherecepti
on
andLindsayisenergeti
casever.

Me:“ wegoingclubbingFr iday.”Thewayhe

screams, heisonami ssiont okillmyear drums.I
alwaysgowi thNoma, Lee,ZahandLi ndsayto
clubbing.Theyareawhol evibenj eandwhatIl ike
i
st hatwedr i
nkourownmoney, wear enotstingy
wheni tcomest opayingf orourowndr inks.Weget
totheclub,buymeat ,buydr inksandt urnupal l
nightlong,i
t’
sgoodvi besonl y.
Him:“
honeylemmestartbysayi
ngyoul
ookhot
,
damngir
lthatass.
”HesaysandIdoa360.
Me:“
Isl
ayal
lday.
”Hehypesme.Il
ovet
hisguy.
Hi
m:“
sowegoi
ngt
oCl
ubF?
”
Me:“hel
lyeah.Letmegett
owor
k.Wewi
llt
alk
l
ater
.”
Hi
m:“
shobossl
ady.
”Iheadt
otheel
evat
orandgo
t
omyof
fi
ce.

Igettomydr awings.If i
nishtheNandamal lproject
rooftopand3r df l
oort hencont i
nuet heZul u
housespr oject.Thecl ockst ri
kes1pm andIt akemy
walletandphone.Igot otherestaurantwhi chis
nexttoourbui lding.Idon’ thaveaspeci ficlunch
ti
mef ormysel f.Ijustdon’ trushtol unchwhenI
haveunf inishedwor kunl essIam r eal l
yhungr y.Isit
onat able, t
hewai tercomesandIor derdoubl e
cheesebur gerwi thfriesandcoke.Il etmyf ri
ends
knowaboutFr idayonourgr oupchatandasIsai d
theyaregame.Ican’ twait,Iam seriousl ylooking
forwardtocl ubbing.Heydon’ tlookatmel i
kethat ,I
knowIam nott heonl yonewhoj ustwi shest of ast-
forwardtheweekt oFr i
daysot hatIcangetdr unk
andgetl aid.

Thewaitercomesbackwithmyor
derandIthank
him.Ist
arteat
ingandinthemi
ddl
eofmyl uncha
famoussoccerplayer
,Mvel
oMkhwanazi
enterst
he
restaurantsandtherei
scommot i
on,peopl
ewanti
ng
totakepi ct
ureswithhim andall
.Ij
ustrol
lmyeyes
andcont inueeati
ngmyl unch.OnceIam doneI
signalthewai t
erfort
hebi l
l,
Ipayandgobackto
wor k.Ifi
ndLindsayonmyf l
oorchatt
ingwit
hZah.

Me:“
yourcel
ebr
it
ycr
ushi
snextdoor
.”
Li
ndsay:“
whi
chone?
”
Me:“
Shamase.
”Theybot
hscr
eam.
Zah:“
Shamaseasi
nMvel
oMkhwanazi
?”
Me:“
yeaht
hatone.
”
Li
ndsay:“
didyougr
eethim?Takeapi
ctur
ewi
thhi
m?
Takehi
snumber?”Ist
areathi
m.
Me:“real
lynow?Hei syourcel
ebr
it
ycrushnotmi
ne
soIdon’tgocrazywhenIseehim.Anywaysget
backtoworkmhl al
i.
”Isaythenpr
oceedtomy
off
ice.Zahfol
lowsme.
Zah:“
theNtul
ibr
other
sar
ecomi
ngi
nli
ke10
minut
es.”
Me:“
thei
rappoi
ntmenti
stoday?
”
Zah:“
yesgi
rl
.”
Me:“
eyyf
ine.I
stheboar
droom set
?”
Zah:“
ever
ythi
ngi
sonpoi
ntboss.
”
Me:“okay,
fet
chmewhent
heyar
eher
e.”Shenods
andheadout.

TheNt ulibrothersaremusi cmogul s.Theyhavet he

biggestrecor dlabelinMzansi .Thenameoft he
recordlabelisBl ueDi amondMusi c.Theyhavea
verybigst udioinJHB.I tiseveryaspi r
ing
musi ci
an’sdr eam tosi gnwi ththem.Yandi saisthe
eldest,
hei stheCEOandaut omati
cal l
ytheheadof
thefami l
ysincet heirpar entsdied5year sago.He
i
smar r
iedandhaski ds.Sandi lei
st hemi ddl
e
brother.Hei sapr oducerandcanpl aymany
i
nst r
ument s.Sakhi l
ei sthel astborn.Heact sli
kea
bratsomet imes.It hi
nkt hef amei smessi ngwith
him becausehei sasi nger .Ireal
lydon’tknowwhy
theywannameetwi t
hmebutsengi yozwakhona.
Zahcomest ofetchmeandIf oll
owhert ot
he
boardr
oom wi thmyi Pad.Attheboar droom doorI
fi
nd2bouncer s,Ir
ollmyeyesatZahandshej ust
shrugsandent erstheboardroom.If oll
owher
i
nsideandf indthebr ot
hersalreadysitt
ing.
Honestlyspeakingtheseguysar ehotandt hey
knowt heyare.Theirpresenceisf el
teverywhere
theyenter.

Yandisa:“
MissCele.
”Hesaysreachi
ngoutf
ora
handshake.Ishakehi
shand.
Me:“youcancal
lmeFut
hy.
”Ial
soshaket
heot
her
br
others’
hands.
Sandi
le:“
Ihaveseenyousomewher
ebef
ore.
”He
sayssqui
nti
nghiseyes.
Sakhi
le:“
shei
sLel
e’
ssi
ster
.”
Sandi
le:“
owwshi
t,t
hatguyalwayst
alkaboutyou.
You’
dswearyouar
ehiswifeorsomethi
ng.”We
l
augh.
Yandisa:“sodoessi
ngi
ngr
uni
nthef
ami
ly.
”I
chuckle.
Me:“
Iguess.
”
Sakhi
le:“
howaboutyousi
ngj
ustahookf
orus?
”
Me:“
nottoday.”Theyl
augh.“Anywaysl
et’
sget
downtobusiness.Whatbr
ingsyouguyshere?
”
Sakhile:“
dudeyouar el
iket
hebestint hegameand
youcomehi ghlyrecommended.Wewannabui l
da
studioherei
nDur banandalsodiscovernewtal
ent
here.Wehaveal r
eadyboughtasi t
einAshervi
ll
e.
Wej ustwantsomeonewhowi l
ldesignandbuil
dit
forus.”
Me:“sowhatdoyouhaveinmi nd?Youwanti ttobe
exact
lyl
iketheoneinJHB?”mybr ot
heronceme
tookmetothestudiowhenIvi
sitedhim soIknow
whatitl
ooksli
keandImustsaywhoeverbui lti
tdi
d
anamazingjob.I
tisbeaut
if
ull
ybuilt
.Iam tempted
toaskwhobuilti
tbutnoIwon’t
.
Yandi
sa:“
wewantacompl et
elydi
ff
erentone.Thi
s
onemusthaveakasivi
be.Nottoofor
mal.There
mustbeofcour
seoffi
cesandstudi
os.Therealso
mustbeent ertainmentareaandar estaurant.Ifyou
knowanyonewhoownsar estaurantyoucanget
them tocomet ous.Theycanopent hei
rbranch
withi
nourst udio.Ofcour setheywi llrentandpay
thatcert
ainper cent
ageoft heirprofitbutitwillbea
win-winsit
uation.”Thiswi l
lbringinsomuchmoney
andIam sohappyi twi l
lbet aketi
met obuild.Iwi l
l
havetogot omyar chit
ectt eam sot hatwecan
comeupwi ththeper f
ectkasist udio.
Me:“sother
eal
somustbeast
udi
oforphot
o
shoots.
”
Sakhi
le:“
yeah.
”
Me:“whenyousayent ertai
nmentarea,what
enter
tai
nmentareyout alki
ngabout?Welove
dif
fer
entkindsofenter
tainment.If
orone,Iam
thi
nkingofastr
ipclubrightnow.”Ever
yonelaughs,
evenZah.
Sakhi
le:“
damnIwasneverr
eady.
”Hei
sst
il
l
l
aughing.
Sandil
e:“
basi
cal
lyapl
ayroom butnott
oopl
ayful
.
Therecanbevi
deogamesther
e,boardgames,
anin
-housebar,acinemaroom.Apl acewher eeveryone
willbecomfort
abletochi
lli
nandr elax,
daydr eam.”
Ihavenoticedthatthi
sonedoesn’tspeaktoomuch.
Hisvoiceissendingti
ngl
esallovermybody.He
hasl avoi
ceguys, t
hevoi
cethatgetsyouwet .
Zah:“
ther
ecanal sobeasmallconcer
troom wher
e
youcanhavein-houseconcer
tsfr
om t
imetotime
asaform ofent
ertai
nment.
”
Yandi
sa:“
that
’sagr
eati
dea.
”
Me:“therecanalsobeaqui
etr
oom where
musicianscansitandwr
it
eorcomposeor
whatevermusici
ansdo.Li
keamusical
li
brar
yif
t
hereissuchat hing.
”
Sandi
le:“
that’
sgreat.Sometimeswhenyouare
wri
ti
ngyouneedaqui etpl
ace.Idon’tknowwhywe
haveneverthoughtofthatbefor
e.”
Me:“yeahwhenyouwannaconcent rat
eyouneeda
peacefulplace.That
’swhyIhavet hisfl
ooral
lto
myself.Idon’twantfootst
epsrushingorri
nging
phonesorgi gglesdi
sturbi
ngmewhenIam
worki
ng. ”Theychuckle.Iam ser
ious,myoffi
ceand
Zah’
sof
ficearesoundpr
oof
ed.“
Sohowmanyf
loor
s
arewel
ookingat?”
Sakhi
le:“
maybesi
x.”
Sandi
le:“
yeahsi
xisokay.
”
Yandisa:“
Sowi
llyoubeabl
etodoi
t?”heasks
l
ookingatme.
Me:“yeah.YoucancomenextweekThur sday
aft
ernoont oseet
heprogr
essont hesketchesand
3Dimagesofwhatyouhavesai dtoday.Youcan
makeal t
erati
onsanyt
imeyouwantbef or
ewestart
bui
lding.
”Itakeoutmybusinesscardandhandi tt
o
Yandisa.“Youcancal
lmei fyoufeell
ikeyoulef
t
somet hi
ngoutandyou’dl
iketoadd.”
Yandi
sa:“wewil
lbeint
ouchFut
hyandpl
easedon’
t
for
getaboutt
herest
aur
anti
dea.
”
Me:“okay.Iguesst
hatwil
lbeall
.”Weallst
andup
andshakehands.Theolderbr
other
sleave,Sakhi
le
comesandst andsnextt
ome.
Sakhi
le:“
comel
et’
stakeaphot
oandIwil
lshowit
toLel
easaprooft
hatIsawyouli
ve.
”Il
aughathi
m.
Whyi shetr
eati
ngmel i
keacelebwhereasheisthe
onewhoi sher
e?NonethelessIposeashesnaps
pics.Whenheisdonehehugsmeandr unoutto
catchupwithhi
sbrother
s.
Zah:“
damnt hosebrother
sarehot.Myclitbe
thr
obbing.I
tistor
tur
et obei
noner oom witht
hem.
Onenightwitheit
heroneoft
hem thenIam good.”I
l
aughatheraswegot omyof f
ice.
Me:“t
hethr
obbingcl
ithel
pedt
houghbecausei
t
gaveyouanidea.
”
Zah:“t
sek.”Iconti
nuelaughi
ngatherandshe
event
uall
yj oi
nsin.Isi
tdowninmychairandshe
si
tsinhers.
Me:“schedulet
hegeneralmeeti
ngt o10am.Iwil
l
needallhandsondeckfortheBlueDiamondMusic
proj
ect.Iknowtheyar
ebusywi t
ht heNandamall
proj
ectbutther
earenearl
ydonesot herewon’
tbea
probl
em. ”
Zah:“
howf
arar
eyouwi
tht
heZul
uhouses?
”
Me:“Iam cl
osetofini
shi
ngi t
.Istart
edwitht
he
eMandlanzi
nihouse.Iam nearl
yfini
shed.By
t
onightIwi
llbef
ini
shedandt
henst
artt
he
Nongomahouse.”
Zah:“
sur
eboss.
”
Me:“
Ihaveapr
ojectf
oryou.
”

Shef r
eezes.Zahisaver ygr eatarchi
tect
.Shehasa
degreeandshei sverygr eatatwhatshedoes.I t
’s
j
ustthatshecamewhent herewasasur plusof
archi
tectsi
nmycompany.Ihi r
edherasaPAbutI
dopayhert hefullar
chitectsalarybecauseI
somet i
mesgiveherpr ojects.ShealwaysexcelsoI
l
ovegi vi
ngherprojects.Shei salsoveryresour
ceful
andor gani
zed.

Zah:“
ohhokay,
Iam l
ist
eni
ng.
”
Me:“Si
bisii
sr ebui
ldi
nghi spubinUMlazi
.Hehas
demoli
shedt heexist
ingone.Hewant saCubana
i
nspir
edclub.Her earethenotes.
”Ihandhermy
not
es.“IexpectthesketchesTuesdaymorni
ng.”
Zah:“
sur
eboss.Iwon’
tdi
sappoi
nt.
”Inodandshe
exi
tsmyof
fi
ce.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
07:
47] :CHAPTER3

LastnightIfi
nishedtheeMandlanzi
nihouseand
start
edwiththeNongomacast l
e.Somemaybe
amusedornotbel i
evemebutIam veryf astand
verypassionateaboutmyj ob.WhenIstartdrawi
ng
Igot omyownpl acewher et
hepenci
l,handand
mi ndbecomeoneandIj ustgowit
hthef l
ow.
Somet i
mesImaynotpr oduceexactl
ywhatt he
cli
entspecifi
edbutthecliental
waysenduphappy
withtheoutcome.
Thenextmor ningIwakeupandt akeashower .I
l
otionmybody, domymake- upandcombmy
naturalhai rnicel y,Ijustl
eti tfr
eeanddown.Iget
dressed, col
lectmyt hingsandheadoutaf t
er
greetingKgomot so.Iarri
veatwor kandhead
strai
ghtt othedesi gnersdepar tment .Theseguys
arealwaysear lyandIadmi rethem f orthat
.Igreet
them andhandt hem t hefirstZul uhousesket ch
andt ellthem Ineedi tbytomor row.It henheadt o
myf l
oor .Iseriousl yneedar ecept i
onistint
hisfloor
whowi llassistZahi nherj obbecausei tistoo
muchf orher .Shemaynotsayi tbutIcanseet hati
t
i
st oomuch.Ipeepi ntoherof f
iceandsi gnalt
hat
shefol lowsmet omyof f
iceandshedoes.Webot h
getseat edaftergr eet i
ngeachot her.

Me:“Ist
artedatt
hedesigner
s’depar
tmentbefor
e
comingheresoyoudon’thavetoworryaboutt
hat.I
haveanothert
askforyou.
”
Zah:“
Iam l
ist
eni
ng.
”
Me:“Ineedar ecepti
onistforthi
sfloor ,
youguys
wil
lworkcloselytogether.GetMuhl uri(whoismy
employeeandal soani nt
eriordesi
gner )tosetup
hi
s/herdesk.Not hi
ngoutoft heordinar y.I
tshoul
d
besmallert
hant heonei nthemai nl obby.”
Zah:“
not
ed.
”
Me:“andalsocont
actt
heDibber
sAgency.Ineed2
bodyguar
ds,amaleandafemale,andadr
iver
.”
Zah:“
fi
nal
lyboss.Whatchangedyourmi
nd?
”
Me:“itwasaboutti
mebakithiZanel
eandwi
thme
onthevergeofexpandingDCCweneedsecuri
ty
becauseri
val
ri
eswi l
lnotbehappy.”
Zah:“Iwi
llgetr
ighti
nitboss.Iwi
llconduct
i
ntervi
ewsonMondayandt heywillber
eadyto
serveyouonTuesday,Wednesdaymor ningl
atest
.”
Me:“ youreallyneedsomeonewhoyouwi llshar
e
responsibil
it
ieswi t
hbecauseIdon’
twantyou
overworkingyour sel
f.Youal
soneed‘meti
me’ .
”
Zah:“
okay.Iwillst
artl
ooki
ngfort
herecept
ioni
st
aft
erMuhlurii
sdonewi tht
hedesk.
”
Sheupdat esmeaboutot herstuffandthenshe
goesbackt oheroffi
ce.Icall
Lindsayandaskhi m
toorderbreakfastf
ormeatt herestaurantnextdoor
.
Theydeliveri
tinmyof fi
ceandIst artmunching.
Aft
ereatingIlazyaroundinmyof f
ice.Ideci
deto
cal
lmom andcheckuponher .Itri
ngsandshe
answersi t
.

Mom:“Lwandl
elethu.
”Shealwayscal
lsmebymy
middl
ename.Sheonl ycal
lsmebymyf i
rstname
whenshereal
lyisangryatme.
Me:“
mawamihowar
eyou?
”
Mom:“Iam fi
nemyangel
.Whenar
eyougoi
ngt
o
comeandvisi
tme?”
Me:“
howaboutIt
akeyououtforl
uncht
oday?
Whatt
imei
syourluncht
ime?”
Mom:“
1pm baby.
”
Me:“
okayIwi
llseeyout
henmama.
”
Mom:“
seeyousoon.Bye.
”Shehangsup.
Thet imef ortheGeneral Thur sdayMeet ing(GTM)
comes, ZahandIheadt ot he1stf loorwhichhasa
boardr oom bigenought oaccommodat e80%ofmy
empl oyees.Wear r
ivethereandf indeveryone
seated.It akemysi tandt hemeet ingcommences.
Eachdepar tmentsgivethei rreportsandhowf ar
theyar ewi ththeproj
ects.Af tertherearedoneI
i
ntroducet henewpr oj
ect ,theBlueDi amondMusi c
proj
ect .

Me:“Iwantyouguyst obei nteamsof3. ”Isay

ref
erri
ngt ot
hear chitects.“Iwantyouguyst ot ake
dif
fer
entpartsoft hest udiothatIhavement ioned.I
wantthesketchesandt he3Dpi ctur
esr eadyby
Wednesdayaf t
ernoon. ”Isitdown.“ Iam happyt hat
thesketchesoftheNandamal larefi
nished.The
wayyouguysar egoi ngIam ver yproudofyouand
conti
nuewi t
hthegoodj ob.Pleasedomakesur ewe
meetthedeadlinesf ort hecurrentproj
ect s.We
havesomanycl i
ent swhowantt oworkwi t
hus.
About20cl i
ent
sar estil
lont hewai t
inglistfor
appointments,fort
hewhol ethi
ng;desi
gning,
buil
dingandf urni
shing;sowedon’thavemuch
ti
mer eall
y.Iwishthatwecanbedonewi t
hhalfof
theseproject
s.Wear egoodatwhatwedot hat’
s
whywear ehighindemand.Zahpl easedosetupa
meetingwi t
htheowneroft hemal
lsothathecan
viewthesketchesandt elluswhenwecanst art
buil
ding.”Shenods.

Zah:“abr
idgecol
lapsedj
ustout
sidePMB.The
mayorofPMBhasappr oachedustoredesi
gnand
rebui
ldi
t.
”
Muhl
uri
:“t
hat
’shuge.
”
Lonwabo:“
yeahandi
twi
llbr
ingi
nal
otofmool
a.”
Clara(I
nter
iordesignerHOD) :“andwear ehoping
forbonusesatt heendoft heyear .
”Theyallgi
ggle
andnodi nagreement .Idon’
tgi veoutfi
xbonuses
attheendoft heyear.Iti
sdet erminedbytheprofi
t
generatedduringtheyear,sohugepr ofi
ts,huge
bonuses.
Me:“
wewi
llseeguys.Bob(
archi
tect
)Ineedyout
o
desi
gnthebridgeandyoucanshowmet he
sket
chesassoonasyou’redoneoranyti
mereal
ly.
”
Henods.“Okaymeetingadj
ourned.
”Ist
andupand
headtomyof fi
ce.

Itakemyphone, carkeysandhandbag, andIgoto

theparkinglot
.Igetinmycaranddr ivet oBal
li
toto
therestaur
antIam havi nglunchatwi t
hmymot her
.
Ifindheralr
eadywai ti
ngf orme.Mom i savery
punctualperson.Shest andsupandhugsme, Ihug
herbackandwesi tdown.Thewai tercomesand
takeourordersandl eave.

Mom:“
howhaveyoubeen?Youhar
dlycomesee
us.
”
Me:“yohmom.Myj obissodemandi
ng.Ihaveso
manycl i
entsf
rom al
lovert
hecountr
y.Iam r
eal
ly
consider
ingbr
anchingtoJHBandCapeTownnext
year.
”
Mom:“Ithi
nkyoushouldsetoutat
imef r
amefor
your
sel
f.Don’
tjustsayyouwannabranchout
.Do
researchont heseciti
esandfindgoodsitesand
buil
dingsf oryourcompany.It hi
nkyoualsoneed
anassi st
antout si
dewor kwhowouldhelpyou
organizeyourl i
fe.Youhardl
yhavetimeforyoursel
f,
you’dswearyouar esti
llst
art
ingupthi
scompany. ”
Ikeepqui et.Thewaitercomesbackwi t
hourfood
andwest arteati
ng.
Me:“you’r
eri
ght.Sowher
ecanIgetthisper
sonal
assi
stantma?Iwantsomeonewhoisvery
tr
ustwort
hy.Whowi l
lbemyconf
idanteandImay
havetoli
vewithher.
”
Mom:“ Idohavesomeonei nmind.Nomxol
isi
.That
gi
rli
sver yhumbleandveryorgani
zed.
”Nomxoli
si
i
stheir3rdhousekeeper
.Theyhaveaverybig
mansionsot heyhave4housekeeper
s.
Me:“okay.Br
ingheroverSundaynoon.Thanks
mom forthi
ssuggesti
on.Iwasneverawarethatmy
workisconsumingmet hi
smuch.Anywayshow’ s
dad?”
Mom:“ heisfine.HewenttoPret
ori
aforsome
of
fi
cialbusiness.Hisbusi
nesstr
ipscanbeti
ri
ng
sometimes.Imisshim andIcanbesohor nyat
ti
mesyohmt anam.
”Sijabul
il
eissounfi
lt
ered
bahlal
i.Atsomepointt
hewayshel ovessexI
thoughtshewouldcheatondadbitshehaspr oven
mewr ong.
Me:“youarel
uckyyouhaveahusband.Idon’t
knowwhenwast helastti
meIgotl
aid.Iam pr
ett
y
sureIam avi
rgi
nnow. ”Webot
hlaugh.
Mom:“ t
hereisnoneedt ocommi ti
fyou’r
enot
readymtanam, j
ustfindsomeonewhoi sgoingt o
helpyouwiththefrustr
ati
on.Sal
tisnotgoodf or
youbaby.”Il
aughver yhard.Sheal
wayst el
litl
ikeit
i
s.Wef i
nishourlunchandwegooursepar ateways.

Idri
vetoGat eway,Ihavebeenwant ingtodo
shoppingbutIhavebeenpost poningitbecauseof
work.Inowhavespar etime.IstartatFoschiniand
takeformalclot
hes.Iheadt oCott
onOnf orcasual
clot
hes.Igot oAldofor2pairsofheelsand2pai rs
ofsandalsshoesandTot alspor
tsfor2pair sof
sneakers.IgotoTruworthsforMacmake- upand
cosmet
ics.

AfterIam doneIgopackt hebagsi nmycarandgo

toGal i
to’
swi t
hmyphone, carkeysandbankcar d.I
t
i
sal readylateaf
ter
noon.Iorder,
payt hengoandsit
downwai t
ingformyorder.Ical
lSibulel
eandwe
tal
kl i
kealways.Hetell
smehewi l
lbevi si
ti
ngme
mont hendandhehasal i
ne-upofgi gsthi
sside.
Whi l
et al
kingtoLel
e,Shamasesitsont heempty
chaironmyt abl
e.OKAY.Isaymygoodbyest omy
brotherthenhangup.

Me:“Iam pr
ett
ysuret
hereareemptytabl
esar
ound
her
e.Youcouldhavesatanywher
e.”
Shamase:“butIchoset
osi
twi
thyou.Ihopeyou
ar
eherealone.”
Me:“
andwhatar
eyouexact
lyhopi
ngf
or?
”
Shamase:“
thatIgetachancetoknowthisbeaut
iful
womaninfrontofmewi t
houtanyint
err
upti
ons.”
Fl
att
erywon’tgetyouanywher
eMr .
Me:“soMvelowhatwoul
dyouli
ketoknowabout
me?”thi
sidi
otgr
insl
ikeaki
dseei
ngicecr
eam.And
t
hen?“What?”
Shamase:“ youar ethefirstpersonoutsidemy
familytocallmeMvel oandt hewayyousayi t
ntokaziyoh.”what everdude.Iam t emptedtorol
l
myeyesbutIdon’ twannaseem r ude.“Anyways
whati sthenameoft hebeaut i
fulwomani nf r
ontof
me? ”thewaitressesbr i
ngourf oodt oourtabl
eand
l
eaveaf teratstarr
ingatMvel ol ongerthanusual.
Me:“
Ntombi
fut
hiCel
e.”West
arti
ndul
gingonour
f
ood.
Shamase:“MaNdosi.
”Ibl
ush,
guysever
ytimea
personsaysmyclannamesImeltf
rom t
heinsi
de.
“I
nkosazanei
bhi
zinganiempi
lweni
?”
Me:“
I’
m anar
chi
tect
.”
Him:“wowokay.Idon’ tseearingonyourf
ingerso
Iwil
ljustgoaheadandassumet hatyouar
esingle.
Namikent okazikadengisandakugil
wa
obeyi
ngodusoyami .Ungi
bonanjebesengi
phonse
i
thawulaothandwenikodwaukubonawena
kungi
buyi
sel
eit
hemba.
”
Me:“Iam f
latt
ered,
real
ly,
butr
elat
ionshi
psar
enot
r
eall
ymyt hing.
”
Hi
m:“
what
’syourt
hingt
hen?
”
Me:“besi
desthefactt
hatloveneverlovedmeIam
aworkaholi
candmyj obismyl i
fe.Gett
ingi
ntoa
r
elat
ionshi
pwillmakemel osefocusonmyl egacy.
”
Hi
m:“ tal
kingaboutl
egacy,themoneyt hatyouar
e
worki
ngf or,
whowi l
linher
iti
tifyoudon’thavef
or
r
elati
onship?Youwilldiewit
hnoki ds?
”
Me:“whenIfeell
ikei
t’
sti
mef ormet
ohaveaki
dI
wi
lladoptorgotoasperm bank.
”
Him:“yourki
dwi l
lgrowupwi thonewor kaholi
c
parent
.Howsur eareyout hathe/shewi l
lrecei
ve
enoughlovefr
om you? ”Ikeepquietfini
shingmy
food.“
Ithi
nkeverybodyneedsl oveMagaye.You
mayhavebeenbet rayedbyamanbef orebutthat
doesn’tmeangiveuponyourhappi ness.”
Me:“
maybei nt
hefut
ureImi
ghtconsi
dergett
ing
i
ntoarel
ati
onshi
pbutnowIam f
ineasasingl
e
woman.Akucosukindawo.
”
Hi
m:“maybewecanbef
ri
endswhoar
esi
ngl
e
t
oget
her
.”
Me:“ beingfr
iendswi t
hacel ebrit
ywillgi
vepeopl e
thewr ongimpr ession.Ili
veaver ypr
ivateli
fe.I
don’twantmyaf fairstobeknownbyt hepublic
exceptf ormywor k.”Ifini
sheat ingandwi pemy
handswi t
htheser viet
tes.Istandupt akingmy
phone, cardandcarkeys.Heal sostandsup.
Him:“canIatl eastaccompanyyout ot heparking
l
ot?”Ishr ugandheadout ,hef oll
owsme.Wegett o
theparkinglot.TodayIam dr i
vingt hebr onzeBMW
X1.Ilovedt hi
scarwhenIf i
rstsawi tonTVandas
soonasi tarri
vedatSMGmom wasl i
ke‘honeyyour
carhasar ri
ved’andIwentandpur chasedi t.“
Nice
wheels.”Ismile.“CanIatleastgetahug? ”hesays
openinghi sarms.Ihughim andGodhi scologne.I
breakthehugandgeti nthecar .Iopent hewindow.
Me:“
thanksMvel
oandi
twasni
cedi
ningwi
thyou.
”
Hi
m:“event
houghyourej
ectedme.”Hesays
pl
aci
nghishandi
nhischestfaki
ngahurt
expr
essi
on.Il
aughathi
m.
Me:“bet
terl
ucknextt
ime.
”Ist
artt
hecar
,dr
iveout
andhootathim.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
07:
47] :CHAPTER4

Tonightwegoingclubbi
ng, DjZinhle-umlil
oasmy
moodst ar
ter
.Iam superexcited,ithasbeenages
si
nceIwentoutwi t
hmyf r
iends.Mywor khasme
bythewashingssomucht hatIsomet imesdon’t
havetimeformyself.If
ini
shput ti
ngonmymake- up.
Iwearakneelengthdenim shor t
,whiteloosevest
,
peachcoatandpeachsneaker
s.Icombmyhai
r
andti
eiti
ntoaneatbun.

Itakemyhandbagwhi chcont ainofeverythi

ngIwill
needandheadt otheki t
chen.Iputmyhandbagi n
thecount er.Iopent hefridge,pourwinei naglass
anddr i
nki tandassoonasIwashi tthebuzzer
ri
ngs.Theyar eher e.Ibuzzt hem i
n.Itakemycar
keys,handbag, housekeysandheadout .Ifi
nd
them i
nt hedr ivewaynearmywhi t
eFor tunerwhich
weusual lygocl ubbingwi th.Intot
alIhave6car s,4
SUV’sand2spor tscarswhi chistheLambor ghi
ni
AvetandorandaBugat t
i.Weshar ehugs.

Me:“
mot
her
fucker
s!”
Noma:“ wehereandwewannat ur
nup! ”IseeNoma
broughtherdriver.Ihandhim mycarkeys.“ Canwe
fi
rstl
ytakepictures?”Ihandthedrivermyphone
andhet aketonsofpi ctur
es.Wedocr azyposes
andevendance.Wef i
nall
yfini
shandweal lgeti
n
tothecarandIsi tatthefront.
Lindsay:“Imustsayy’ al
lbitcheslooksuper fl
y.”I
connectmyphonewi ththecarvi aBluetoothand
playVul aValabyNokwaziandt heScorpionkings.
Thel adiesscream andmakevi deos.Byt heti
mewe
arri
veatCl ubFi t
’salr
eady10pm.Abouncer
escor t
sust oourtableintheVI Psection.Weget
settl
edandsummonawai ter.
Noma:“
canwepl
easest
artwi
thshot
s?”
Lee:“yesgir
l.Wait
erpleasebringus10t equi
la
shots.”Thewait
erdisappearsandcomebackwi t
h
theshots.Wedrinkthem allatonce.Yeymood
star
ter.
Wai
ter
:“whatwoul
dyoul
adi
esl
iket
oor
der
?”
Me:“cel
ainyamakaR300Ipor
k,wor
sli
kaR150
nepapadali
.”
Zah:“fordr
inkscanwepl easehaveabot tl
eof
Tanqueray,el
eBelveder
e, 24-packofFl
yingFi
sh
pressedlemonand22lofcr anberr
yjui
ce.”
Wai
ter
:“comingr
ightup.
”hedi
sappear
sagai
n.I
l
ookaround.
Me:“l
emmesearchformynextvict
im.
”Thel
adi
es
l
augh.“Who’
sontheli
ne-
uptoday?”
Li
ndsay:“
ShoMadjozi
,DjHal
lel
ujah,
DjGukwa,
Ddn
Gogo,NaaqMusi
candother
s.”
Lee:“
wellIwoul
dn’tmindgr
indi
ngonNaaq’ aabs.
”
shebit
esherlowerli
p.Weallscream andhypeher
.

Thewai t
ercomesbackwi t
hourdr inksandwest art
withtheciders.DjGukwastart
spl ayingandwe
standupanddance.Whi l
ewedanci ngIfeelhands
onmywai st,
stronghandsforthatmat ter
.Iturnto
stareatt
hismanwhohast henerveandyouwon’ t
beli
evewhoi tis.

“
MaNdosi
”hef
lasheshi
ssmi
leandIj
ustgi
ggl
e.
Me:“Mvel
owhatacoinci
dence.”Wet
alkaswear
e
danci
ngcl
osel
ytoeachother.
Him:“Iam sogladIcoul
dmeetyouagai
n.”Itur
n
andfi
ndal lt
hesebit
chessit
ti
ngdownandtheir
eyesgluedtomeandMvel o.
Me:“
whodi
dyoucomewi
th?
”
Hi
m:“
3ofmycol
leaguesandachi
ldhoodf
ri
end.
”
Me:“whydon’ tyoujoinusinourtable?”Ipointat
ourtabl
e.Heagr eesandgoest ohisgent s.He
comesbackandt heyjointhei
rtabl
eswi t
hour s.
Mvelointr
oduceshi sfri
endsasAndi l
e,Cebo, Nzuzo
andKhaya.Ial soi
ntroducemyf ri
ends.Nzuzol ooks
sofamili
ar,IswearIhaveseenhi m before.
Li
ndsay:“
bossladyusi
fakeezi
ntwenit
oday.We
dr
inki
ngwithcel
ebs.
”Weal ll
augh.
Andi
le:“
whatdoyouownbossl
ady?
”heaskswi
th
acharmingsmi
le.
Nzuzo:“
Dubandl
elaCC.Iwasoneofyourcl
ient
s3
year
sback.
”
Me:“
ngi
shoyourf
acel
ooksf
ami
li
ar.
”
Shamase:“
youownDCC?
”heaskswi
thashocked
expr
essi
on.
Me:“
gui
lt
yaschar
ged.
”Isayandshr
ug.
Ourmeatar ri
vesj ustast heir
sar r
ivealso.Weal ldi
g
i
n.oneoft het hingsIdi gaboutCl ubFi st heirwell
cookedmeatandsecr etspices.Afterwedone
eati
ngwecont inuedr inking.Wer eturntot hedance
fl
oorandMvel oissocl osetomeIkeepgr i
ndingon
hiscrotch,Ifeeli tpokingmybut t.Heexcuses
himselfandr et urnst ohisseat .I
’m outbyCi araand
NickiMi najplaysandIr emovemycoat .Ilovethis
song.Ist artt
wer kingnotnot ici
ngt hatIam l ef
t
al
onei nt heVI Pdancef loor.Bythet imet hesong
endsmostpeopl ehaveci rcl
edmeandar etaking
vi
deos.

MC:“SHOUTOUTTOFUTHYOFDCCI NTHEVIP
DANCEFLOOR!!
”thecr
owdscreams.OMG.Ir
ushto
mytabl
eandquickl
ysi
tdown.Iopenanewci
der
anddownitononego.
Me:“
whatt
hef
uckj
usthappened?
”
Noma:“
damngi
rlIl
astsawt
hosemovesi
nvar
sit
y.”
Lee:“
Ciar
apr
ovokedher
.”wel
augh.
Li
ndsay:“
babessomepeopl
ewer
etaki
ngl
ive
vi
deossoyouar
etr
endi
ng.
”
Me:“
Iam pr
ett
ysur
eitwi
lldi
edowni
nanhour
.”
Shamase:“yousuredoknowhowt omoveyour
waistandass.Isal
uteyou.
”Il
aughathis
ambiguousstatement
.Iknowhisst
atementi
stwo
si
ded.

Theni ghtcont i
nueswi t
houtanydr amaticvideo
taking.Thecl ockstri
kes2am andMvel osuggest s
thatwet aket hepartytohi shouse, weallagree.We
buya48- packoff l
yingfishandheadt oMvel o’
scr i
b.
Wear r
ivedathi shousewhi chi
sinGl enwood.I tisa
beaut i
fulgl assmansi on.Wegeti nsideandhe
usher sust othelongue.Wegett hereandputour
drinksint hecof feetable,theguysputsomeoft he
drinksint hef ri
dge.Theyputont hemusi candwe
chill
.Wedr inkandt alklikeoldfr
iends,the
conver sationi sfl
owingt herearenoawkwar d
moment s.

Andi
le:“
soFut
hyhowdoesi
tfeelt
oownsucha
successf
ulcompany?
”
Me:“ i
tfeel
sgoodbecauseIstarteditfrom scrat
ch.
Ididhaveabouthalftheamountf ort
hecapi tal
whichwer emysavings.Theotherhalf,wellIasked
forfundingfr
om bigcompani
esandt heywer emore
thanhappyt odonate.
”
Nzuzo:“
you’
relucky.Manypeopl
eapplyf
orf
undi
ng
butt
heygetrej
ectedmostoftheti
me.”
Me:“thepr oblem istheyr ushsuccess.Theywant
ever
ythingt obechop- chop.Whenst art
inga
busi
nessandl ooki
ngf orf undi
ngpeoplemust
remembert hatpatiencei savirt
ue.I
tmaynot
happent odaybutt hatdoesn’ tmeani twon’thappen
atal
l.AndnoIam notl uckybutIam blessed.”
Li
ndsay:“
yesNi
cki
!”t
hegi
rl
shypeandwel
augh.
Zah:“
soyouguyshowdoesi
tfeelt
ohaveyourl
if
e
i
nthespotl
ight
?”
Cebo:“itsucksreal
lybecauseyoucan’tevenmove
fr
eely.Youcan’ttakeavacationwit
hyourmai nor
si
dedi shbecauset her
ewillbepi
cturesofyouthe
nextmor ni
nginever ynewspaperandeverysocial
medi
a.Somepeopl
eonthenetarealwaysl
ooki
ng
f
orst
ori
essosometi
mestheyseeuswi t
hgir
lsand
t
heycomeupwithafal
seconcl
usion.
”
Me:“t
hat’
showmybr otheral
waysf
eelli
kemostof
thet
ime.Heevendoesn’tsl
eepi
nhotel
sbecause
hisf
ansareever
ywhere.”
Khaya:“
whoi
syourbr
other
?”
Me:“
Lel
e.”
Khaya:“
thatguyi
ssocoolandsor
eal
.Il
ovehi
s
music.
”
Me:“
Iwi
llt
ellhi
m yousai
dthat
.”
Lee:“
hewasoncemycr
ush.
”
Noma:“ andrememberhowyou’
dembarrass
yoursel
fwheneverhecomestoourapar
tment,
not
for
getti
ngthatyou’
rewayol
dert
hanhim.”welaugh.
Lee:“
yoh,
I’
dhavepani
catt
acksandcol
lapseever
y
ti
mehesaidsomet
hingtome.”
Zah:“
youhadi
tbadgi
rl
.”
Me:“
awunapi
ctur
e.”
Ifeelmyselfgett
ingwast ed.Iaskf orabathroom
andMvel opullmet oonei nt hesecondf l
oor.He
actuall
ypullsmet ot hemai nbedr oom en-suit
e.
AfterIam donedoi ngmybusi nessIr etur
nt othe
bedroom andf i
ndhi m shirtless.Ifheist r
yingto
seducemet henitiswor kingbecausedamnhi s
muscl esdearGod.Iwal kupt ohim andwr apmy
armsar oundhisneck.Ist andonmyt oesandki ss
him,her espondst othekisspul li
ngmebymywai st
withhisstrongarms.Onet hingleadst otheot her
andbef oreIknowi twear edonewi ththesecond
round.Hei mmedi atelypassesout .
Iusethistimet oescape.Inevershareabedwi th
onenightst andsandIam notgoi ngtostartt
oday.I
getdressedqui etl
yandheadout .Ifi
ndmybi tches
downst ai
rs.Weswor et hatweneversleepata
man’shouseaf terdr
inkingt
here.Theystandup
whent heyseemeandwequi et
lyexi
tthehouse
giggl
ingli
ght l
y.Wegeti ntothecaranddriveoutof
theyard.
Lee:“
soDubandl
elast
ruckagai
n?”
Me:“
kantiwhoam Ihhe?Ngi
thiwhoam i
?”weal
l
l
aughoutloud.
Noma:“
youar
ethedogofdogs.
”
Li
ndsay:“
sohowwashe?
”
Me:“
bet
tert
hanexpect
ed.
”
Li
ndsay:“
howbi
gwashe?
”
GI
RLS:“
HHALI
NDSAY!
”theyexcl
aim.Heshr
ugs.
Li
ndsay:“
what
?Iwannaknow.
”
Me:“honeythat’sformet oknowandf oryouto
neverfi
ndout .
”Ther uleisthatwedon’tsharea
di
ck,unlessthatguyi sseriousaboutyouandyou
arealsoseri
ousabouthi m whichhasnever
happened.Thedr i
verdr opsallofusatourhomes.I
gettomybat hroom, t
akeawar m shower,dr
y
myselfandgetundert hecover snaked.
.
.
.
Iwasgoi
ngt opostt
omorr
owbutmybr
ainwasl
ike
'
givet
hereaderswhatt
heywant
'
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
07:
47] :CHAPTER5

Myphoner i
ngs,wakingmeupf rom mydeep
sl
umber.Itakei
tundermypi l
low,answeri
tand
pl
acesitonmyear .Idonotevenchecktoseewho
i
scall
ing.
Me:“
mmm.
”
Lel
e:“what ?You’r
esti
llsl
eeping?Haveyouseen
yourvideo?Youar etr
endingsi si
.Over1mi lli
on
vi
ewer sonYouTube.Thet witterisbuzzing.People
onInstagram areshari
ngit,myf ansaregoi ngcrazy
aboutmydanci ngsister
.”Isitupandyawn
str
etchingmyar ms.Sbu’svoi ceissohighsoi t
wakesyouupi
tsel
f.
Me:“
Sbuwai
t.Whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?”
Lel
e:“
yourvideotwer
kinglastni
ghtatCl
ubF.
peopl
eloveyou.Iam eventhi
nki
ngoffeat
uri
ngyou
onmynextmusi cvi
deo.”
Me:“
didyousay1mi
ll
ionvi
ewer
s?”
Lel
e:“yeah.Mypubl
ici
stpostedi
tonmyYouTube
channelsomostofmyf anssawitt
her
eandstar
ted
tweet
ingandshari
ngit
.”
Me:“ OMG.Thi sisgoingtoatt
ractunnecessary
spotli
ght.Iwasj usthavi
ngfun.Ionl
yreali
zedt hatI
wasbei ngrecordedwhenIwasdonedanci ng.
Pleasecontrolthisshit
.Idon’
tneedanycr azy
publi
city.
”
Lel
e:“
okayIwi
llt
ry.Seeyoui
naweek.
”
Me:“
byebr
o.Il
oveyou.
”
Lel
e:“
Iloveyout
oo.
”Hehangsup.

Ist
andupandheadt
othebat
hroom.Iwashmy
face,brushmyt eethandt akeawar m shower.After
thatIwr apmybodyi natowelandgobackt omy
bedroom.Isi tont hebedandt akemyphone.Igo
throughal lmysoci almediaaccountsandi t’
strue,I
am trending.GodIpr aythi
svideodoesn’treachmy
parents.Istandandmakemybed.Il oti
onmybody,
wearmyyel lowshor tdressandheadt othekitchen.
Ifi
ndKgomot sopreparinglunch,Igr
eetherand
thensitont hebar stool
.

Me:“Kpleaseprepareontheguestbedroom.We
wil
lbehavinganotherpersonwhowillbeli
vingher
e
f
ullt
ime.Sheiscomi ngtomorr
oweveni ng.
”
Her
:“whati
sherj
ob?
”
Me:“sheismysecondassi
stant
.Mom sai
dIneed
hert
oor gani
zemydaytodaylif
eout
sidewor
k.”
Her
:“downst
air
sorupst
air
s?”
Me:“downst
air
s.”Shehandsmet hefoodandIstar
t
eat
ing.Thef
rontdooropensandLeeget sin
fol
lowedbyNoma.Theybot hhavesparekeysto
myhouseandIal sohavekeystothei
rs.Theyar
e
weari
ngshorts,
croptops,
bighat
sandsungl
asses.
“I
fIdidn’
tknowbett
erI’
dsayyouaregoi
ngtothe
beach.”

Lee:“wel
lthesunisout
,thewindi
sfl
owi
ng.I
tisa
greatdaytovi
sitt
hebeach.”
Me:“Kpleasepackeveryt
hingthatIwi
llneedatt
he
beach.Pl
acemyor angebiki
niontopofthebed.”
Kgomot
so:“
okay.
”
Noma:“ andyouwi l
lbej oi
ningus.YouknowIdon’t
takenof orananswer .
”Shegigglesandhead
upstai
rs.Thesetwohel pthemselveswit
hthefood
onthetable.Kgomot soalwaysmakesext r
afood
j
ustincaseIdon’ tgetfull
.
Lee:“l
et’
sgowi
ththeAmar
oktodaysothatwecan
packthecampchair
sni
cel
yandalsot
heboozeand
thefood.
”
Me:“
Iam notdr
ivi
ng.
”
Noma:“fi
neIwi
lldr
iveandIi
nvi
tedbhutbaet
oour
out
ing.
”
Me:“
wear
efi
nal
lymeet
inghi
m?”
Noma:“
yes”
Lee:“can’twait
.Ijusthopet herewillbehunksat
thebeachumunt uangazi t
holiesebambe
i
khandlela.”Welaugh.WeknowhowNomaget s
phambikwendoda.Uyi konoshel aakubuki
se
ngabantu.Ifini
sheat i
ngt henheadupst ai
rs.Iput
mybi ki
nionandputont hedr essIwaswear i
ng
again.Itakemyphone, walletandcarkeysandgo
backdownst air
s.Nomai sbusyt appingherphone
withaf r
ownonherf ace.

Me:“
what
’sup?
”
Noma:“ pict
uresofyouandShamasedanci ngand
si
tti
ngl ooki
ngcozyar eci
rcul
ati
ngonsocialmedia.
Hisbitchesareshadingyouandsomeofhi sfans
areexcitedthathei
sdat i
nganindependent
businesswoman.Somear ecall
ingyouacougar.
”
WellMvel oi
s27year s,so2yearsdif
fer
ence.
Me:“f
uckt hi
sist
heshitIwasrunni
ngawayfrom.I
t
oldhim andKuhl
ethatIdon’
twannaassoci
ate
mysel
fwi
thcel
ebr
it
iesbecauset
heyat
tr
actdr
ama.
”
Lee:“
whoi sKuhl
e?”f
uckIdon’
tremembert
ell
ing
them aboutK.
Me:“
pri
nceKuhle.Hei
saclientandhewant
edus
t
ohangoutbecauseIam f
un.”
Lee:“
justgetLel
e’
spubl
ici
stt
ocont
rolt
his.
”
Me:“
thethi
ngi
sMvel oisi
nterest
edi
nmesoI
mi
ghtdismi
sstheseall
egat
ionsofusdat
ingandhe
mi
ghtsayanot
herthi
ng.”
Noma:“
weneedt ogett
ohisplace.Iam pr
ett
ysur
e
hei
ssti
llnur
singhi
shangover
.”
Me:“
yeahl
et’
sgo.ComeKgomotsowewil
lst
artat
Gl
enwoodt
henwewi l
lgot
othebeach.
”

Weal lgetinthecarandIdriveout.Wear r
iveat
Mvelo’shouse, t
hegateisopenedandt hereare
carsparkingoutside.I
sthi
sdudehavi ngapar t
y?
Wegetoutoft hecarandgetinsidethehouse
becauset hedooriswideopen.OMGsomanymal e
speci
esi nonepl ace.Mostofthem arehi
st eam
mates,t
herear
ealsogir
lswhichIsuspectar
ethe
gi
rl
fri
endsorwives.Westandatt
hedoor
awkwardly.

Me:“goodaf t
ernoonever yone. ”Theyal ltur
nt hei
r
headstoourdi r
ect i
on.Holyf uckal ltheseeyes
star
ingatmear egi vingmecr eeps.I t
’sli
ketheyare
seei
ngaliens,allofthem aren’tsayi ngat hi
ng.
Mvelostandsupandcomet ous.Hegi vesmea
hugandapeckont helips.Isn’tthathownor mal
couplesgreeteachot her?Thenwhyi shet r
eat i
ng
mel i
kehisgirl
friend?

Him:“Iknewyou’dcomeback.Gentst
hisi
su
Ntombifut
hibutIcal
lherMaNdosi
.”Weall
exchangegreet
ings.
Me:“
canwet al
kinpr
ivat
e?”henodsandl
eadsme
t
otheki
tchen.
Hi
m:“
areyouokay?
”
Me:“
consi
der
ingt
hecur
rentnewsIam f
ine.Iam
j
ustnothappyaboutt
heall
egati
onsmadeby
peopl
e,t
hatyouandIareanit
em.”
Hi
m:“
aren’
tweani
tem?
”

Me:“ Mvelohavingsexdoesnotaut omati

cally
changemyvi ewsaboutr elat
ionships.Idon’tdo
rel
ationshi
ps.Yeahwevi bedandconnect ed
yesterdaybutthatwasjustit
, not
hingmor e.You’r
e
agreatguyandyoudeser vesomeonewhoi sonthe
samepagewi t
hyounotme. ”
Him:“butIwantyou.
”Hesaypull
ingmet ohi
m by
mywai st.Hi
stouchsendt
ingl
esallovermybody
butt
hat ’
snotwhyIam her
e.

Me:“ Mveloplease.”Hedoesn’tl
ist
enbuthegoes
strai
ghttosuckingandnibblingmyneck.Itryto
staystrongbutIfindmyselfmoani ng.Heki
ssesmy
chinandcomest omymout htosmasheshislips
onmi ne.Ialsorespondtothekissbecausehehas
defeatedme.Hef i
nall
ybreaksthekissandstare
strai
ghtintomyeyes.Iclearmyt hroat.
Me:“Pl
easefi
xthi
s.Callyourpubl
ici
stNdonga.I
don’
tneedbadpress.
”
Him:“ yousayi
ngmycl annamesmakesmehar d.
Byt hewayyoul ookbeautif
ulandsupersexyi nthat
dress.”Hesaysquickl
ycar ryi
ngmeandpl aci
ngme
ontheki t
chencounter.Iscream outofshock
becausenobodyhasevercar ri
edmet hatquickl
y.
Me:“ canyoubeser i
ousj
ustf
orami nut
e?”his
handsr ubmythighsupanddown.DearGodcanhe
pleasestopseducingmebecauseIam alr
eady
soakingwet?
Him:“
ifyouwantt
okeept
hisbet
weenust
henIam
game.
”
Me:“ t
her
ei snothinggoi ngonbet weenus.Ihave
somewher etobe, pleaset akemedown.”Hepi cks
meupbutdoesn’ tputmedown, f
orci
ngmet owr ap
myl egsaroundhi swai st.“Mvel
oIhavetogo.The
girl
sandIar ehavingagi rl
s’dayoutatt
hebeach.I
don’twannakeept hem wai ti
ng.
”Hecareful
ly
placesmedown.
Him:“okay.Iwil
lsor
tthi
sout.Whenam Iseei
ng
youagain?”uyanya,
Andizi
.Iwal
ktothedoorway
andlookathim.

Me:“ never
.”Ir
ushouttotheli
vingroom where
everyoneisseatedbef
orehecanr epl
y.Hecomes
runningbehindmeandhol dsmef rom behi
nd.He
whispersinmyear .
Hi
m:“
wewi
llseeaboutt
hat
.”It
urnandl
ookathi
m.
Me:“youdon’tknowwhereIst ay,youdon’
thavemy
numbersogoodl uck.
”Ismirk.Iturnmyattent
ionto
hi
sfriends.“
Guysitwasnicemeet i
ngyoubutwe
havetodash.Wehaveapar tyofourownt ogot o.
”
Cebo:“Leehasalreadyi nvi
tedustoyourouti
ngso
wewer ejustwaiti
ngf oryouguys.Let
’sgo.
”What
thefuck?Iwasexpect ingthatf
rom Nomanother.I
stareatLeeandsheavoi dsmyeyesandclearsher
throat
.Great,
justgreat.Whatcouldpossi
blygo
wrong?
Khaya:“
wewi l
lbuyboozet
oaddonthisandbuy
meatatBluf
fsothatwecanhaveabraai
.”
Noma:“okay.That
’sset
tl
ed.Let
’sgo.”Shesays
exci
tedl
ygetti
ngupandeveryonestandsup.
Mvel
o:“
wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?
”
Kgomot
so:“
warnerbeach.
”theyal
lheadoutl
eavi
ng
meandMveloi
nsidethehouse.
Me:“meandyoui
npubl
ictoget
heragai
n?Lor
d
havemer
cyonmysoul.
”Iheadout.
.
.
Wegobuybooze, meatandsnacksandgochi llat
thebeach.I t’
sactual
lynotasbadasIt houghti twil
l
be.AlthoughMvel oissitt
ingnextt ome, hei snot
beinganui sance.Wear ealljustchatt
ingl i
ke
fri
endsandevent houghtherear ecouplesher ethey
arenotactingal ll
oveydoveyasi ftheyst art
ed
datingyesterday.Noma’sboyf ri
endarrives.Hei s
cuteandshy, acompleteopposi t
eofNoma.But
peopledosayopposi t
eattracts.Yohshei s
blushingli
keat eenageandIam happyt hatmy
fri
endi si
nl ove.
Me:“
soKhanyahowol
dar
eyou?
”
Khanya:“
Iam 26.
”Myf
ri
endsandIar
ethesame
age.
Lee:“youhavenopr
obl
em wi
thNomabei
ngabi
t
olderthanyou?
”
Khanya:“lovehasnobarr
iers.Whethersheisol
der
orIam olderdoesn’
tmatter
.Whatmat tersi
swhat
wefeelforeachotherandIdol oveher.
”
Me:“ncoohwhenIgr
owupIwannabej ustl
ikeyou
andfi
ndmysoulmate.”Isayi
nachi
ldi
shvoiceand
ever
yonelaughs.
Cebo:“butFut
hyyoursoulmat
ei srightbesi
de
you.
”Idon’tcommentonthat
.InsteadIstandup
andtakeoffmydress.
Me:“Icameheretoswim andchi
ll
.Idon’
tknow
aboutyouguysbuttheoceani
scalli
ngme.”

NomaandLeel aughandt
heyalsotakeof
fthei
r
cl
othes.Kgomotsof
oll
owspur
suitandweallgo
andswi m.Af terami nuteortwot heguysjoi
nus.
Wear enotr eallyswi mmi ngbutwear ejustpl
ayi ng
withwat er.Itiscool i
ngourbodi eswithit
sperfect
temperat ure.Wef i
nal l
ygetoutoft hewaterandgo
backtowher eever yonei ssi
tti
ng.Igot omycart o
takeat owel ,Iwr apitaroundmybodyandgoback
tothecr ew.If indsomeonesi tti
ngonmycamp
chair,
thisisawkwar d.Mvel oindicat
esthatIshould
comeandsi tonhi sl ap.Irol
lmyeyesandgosi ton
topofhi m.Iam abi ggirlsoifhef i
ndsmeheavyI
don’tcare,heof fer
ed.

Theotherguysar
ebraaingt
hemeatandweare
munchingonthesnacksanddri
nki
ng.Al
adywho
wasintr
oducedasNolwazil
ooksatMvel
oandIand
smil
es.

Nol
wazi:“youguysmakeaverybeaut
if
ulcoupl
e.
Youcompl ementeachot
her
’sski
nand
per
sonali
ties.
”
Khut
so:“
you’
rer
ightandFut
hyIl
oveyourski
n.I
t’
s
sobeaut
if
ulandf
lawl
ess.Whatpr
oduct
sdoyou
use?
”
Me:“ youcanconsul tmyder mat ol
ogi
st,Dr
.
NokukhanyaMnguni .Shei sgoodatwhatshedoes
andshecanr ef
eryoutopr oductsyoucanuse
accor di
ngt oyourskinbecauseyoucanuset he
productst hatIuseandlaterfindoutthatt
heyare
harmf ult
oyourski nandthencomebackandbl ame
me, uyayibonaleyonto.
”
Khut
so:“
okay.Wher
eisherof
fi
cel
ocat
ed?
”
Me:“i
nuMzi
mkhulu.Youcanf
indhercont
act
det
ail
sonGoogl
e.”
Nosisa:“whydon’
tyouhitthegym andbur noffthat
fatonyourbody?Imeanyouar erich,aren’
tyou?
Youcanaf for
danygym member ship.Iam pret
ty
sureguysloveyourpussynotyou.”Nomachuckl es
bit
terl
y,waitf
ori
t.Iam notevengoingtoentert
ain
thi
schick.

Noma:“
howlonghaveyouknownFuthy?”sheasks
l
ooki
ngatNosi
sa.Shedoesn’
tanswer
.“What
makesyout hinkshewi l
ltakeyourst upid,idioti
c
advice?Whati swrongwi thherwei ght ?Whosai d
womenshoul dwearsi ze26t o34?Notever yone
wasbor nt obeski nny.Someofuswer ebor nt obe
chubbyandwer eall
ydon’ tcarewhatever yone
thi
nksaboutourwei ghtbecauseourpar ent sloved
usaswear e.Iam asi ze36mnaandIam so
fuckingpr oudofmywei ghtandsoi sFut hy.Your
commentt oherisl i
keadr opofwat erinanocean.
Itwon’tmakeanydi fferencebecauseshei snot
dependingonyout oputf oodonhert able.Shei s
perfect,curvywi thaf lawlessski n.I
fIst artdissing
yourbodyyouwi llwishyoust ayedinbedt odayso
l
etmet ool.”Shet akesal ongsi ponherci der.“Nxa
bit
cheswi thlowsel f-esteem. ”Weal llaugh.Iknow
howNomat alkswhenshest ar t
swithchuckl ing
bit
terlysot hat’swhyIdi dn’tbotheropeni ngmy
mout h.

Nolwazi:“
rel
axl
adies.Sheisj
ustbi
tterbecauseshe
cheatedonShamasewi thhi
sfri
endandhedumped
her.NowthatShamaseisshowinginter
estin
someonet
hatpi
ssesherof
f.
”Nomaj
ustr
oll
seyes.

Myphoner i
ngs,Istandupandgoansweritina
quiet
erplacebecausewher eweareseat
edther
eis
acarplayingmusi c.I
t’
sZah.MaraIt
oldthi
sgir
lto
restandhavesome‘ meti
me’bakwethu.

Me:“
Ihopet
hisi
snotaboutwor
k.”Shel
aughs.
Zah:“yohIam fi
ndinghardtochooseamale
bodyguardboss.Mostofthem aresofucki
n
handsome,theyarepantydroppersshame.
”Il
augh
ather.
Me:“yeywenawhati
simport
anti
smypr ot
ect
ion.I
don’
tcarewhet
hert
hebodyguar
dishandsomeor
not.
”
Zah:“marabossthispersonwillbewithyoumost
oftheti
me.Imaginehavingtowat chuMul i
misi
fr
om Muvhangonj edayondayout .Yohyouwil
l
endupuglyyourself
.”Iburstoutlaughi
ng.
Me:“
youdomakeapoi
ntt
hough.
”
Zah:“yeahpl
usIneedagoodviewmysel
f.
”I
conti
nuelaughi
ng.Thi
sgi
rlbaf
ethu.
Me:“hi
reanyonewhoi
sperfectf
ort
hejoband
comeshighl
yrecommended.Wewil
ltal
klat
er.
”
Zah:“
sur
eboss.
”Ihangup.

Igetbackt otheot hers.Themeati sfi

nallyreadyso
weeatanddr ink.TheNosi sagirlhassomehow
disappearedbecauseIdon’ tseeheranywher e.
Anywayswhocar esabouther ?Wechi l
land
continuedri
nki ngandt alki
ng.We, t
hegirl
s,finall
y
decidetoleavesoMvel oandCebohel puscar r
your
stufftomycar .Lee, Khanya,NomaandKgomot so
getsinandt heywai tforme.Mvel opullsmet ohim
andhugsme.It hi
nkIenj oybeinginhisarms.He
ki
ssesmebr ieflyandt henperksmyf orehead.

Mvel
o:“
canIpl
easehaveyournumber
?”
Me:“Mvel
owhathappenedbetweenuswasaonce-
of
f.Idon’
twantyouget
ti
ngthewrongidea.It
old
youthatIdon’
tdat
ethefir
stti
mewetalked.What
doyout hi
nkhaschangedri
ghtnow?Youthought
yourdickhadpowertochangemymind?”
Mvel
o:“
whyar
eyoubr
eaki
ngmyhear
t?”
Me:“ Ineveraskedf oritandtrul
yspeaki
ngyou
nevergavei ttome.Pl easedon’tmakethisharder
thanitalreadyis.Seeyouar ound.”Iper
khislips
andgeti nthecar .Idri
veoutofthebeach, l
eaving
him standingtherelikeastatue.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
07:
48] :CHAPTER6
Mom ar ri
vesonSundayaf t
er noonwi thNomxol isi
.
Not hiswor di
ssol ong.Wi llhavet ogivehera
nickname, somethingshor tlikeLisiorXoli.Sheisa
veryshyandpol i
tegirlbutthatwi llendsoon.My
assistantshouldbel i
keZah.Open, acti
veandf un.I
mustsetupameet ingforbot hofthem.Iwantt hem
toknoweachot herwel l
.Mom i sinahur rybecause
shei sfet
chingdadf rom theai rportsoshej ust
dropsherof fandleaves.Xol ij
oinsmei nt hepatio
andKgomot sobringsusdr inks.Shesaysgoodbye
andt henleaves.

Nomxolisi
:“youhaveabeauti
fulhouseMissCel
e.”
Lordburymenow.Onl ycl
ient
sandbusiness
associ
atescallmeMissCele.
Me:“Xol
i,
isitokayifIcal
lyouXoli
?”shesmil
esand
nods.“
Okay.Iam mor eli
keabigsi
stert
oyouthan
anemployer.EvenemployeesatDCCcallmebymy
namesopl easecal
lmeFut hy.
”
Xoli
:“okaysi
siFut
hy.
”That
’sbet
tert
hannot
hing,
ri
ght?
Me:“
didmom t
ellyouwhatj
obyouwi
llbedoi
ng?
”
Xol
i:“
shej
ustsaidIwillbeassi
sti
ngyou.It
hought
maybewit
hcleaning.
”
Me:“ youwillbemysecondassi stantXoli.Per
sonal
assistantnothelper.Youwil
lbeor gani
zingmyl i
fe
outsidewor knotmyhouse.That ’
sKgomot so’
sjob.
Shei sthehousekeeperhere.Youj obistomake
sureIhavet imef ormysel
f.I
nyourr oom youwi l
l
fi
ndaphone, lapt
opandt abl
et.Thosethingswill
makeyourj obal oteasier
.Howmuchdi dmom pay
you? ”
Xol
i:“
R4500.
”

Me:“ okayIwi l
lbepayingyouR8000.Yourf i
rsttask
i
st osear chforpl
aceswher eIcanbr anchDCCat .
It
’seithervacantsi
tesorbui l
dingsforsale.
PreferablyintheCBD.Theenvi ronmentar ound
mustbesaf eandeasilyaccessibletothecl i
ents
hhayi ndawoecashile.Youcanf ir
stlookfort hose
placesatJohannesbur gandCapeTownf ornow.
Whatyouwi lldoi
ssear chforthevacantpl aces,
takecontactdet
ail
sforpeopletocont act,callt
hem
andhearhowmucht heyar ewill
ingtosel lt
he
propert
yfor.Sel
lnotrent.Iam notlookingf ora
cheaperplacebutagoodpl ace.Youwi l
ljotdown3
placeswhichmeetmyr equir
ement sineacht own
thenyouwi l
lcometomewi thyourr esearch.”

Xoli
:“okaysi
si.Manjewherewil
lIbest
ayi
ng
becausether
ear en’
tcot
tagesher
e?”
Me:“insidethehouse,downstair
s.It
’sonlymeand
Kgomot soheresot hereisenoughroom foryout oo.
AnothertaskIwantyout odoi ssearchfor
rest
aurantowner shereinDurban,pref
erablyblack
women.Mi naIam allaboutwomenempower ment .
Lookforabout5owner sandyouwi l
lsubmi tt
hat
l
isttome.Nott orushyoubuti twil
lbegoodi fyou
star
twiththisresearchassoonaspossi ble.
”
Xoli
:“okaysisi.Canyoupleaseshowmet ot
he
room Iwillbeusing?
”Itakeoneofherbagsand
l
eadheri nsidethehousetoherroom.Ipl
acethe
bagont opoft hebed.
Me:“ t
herei saclosetandanen-
suit
einthi
sroom,
allyours.Ifyouhaveanyquesti
onsorprobl
ems
youcant al
ktoeithermeorK.andrememberXoli
youar enotahel perbutmyassi
stantsopl
ease
sticktoyourj ob.
”
Xol
i:“
okaysisiandt hankyouf
ort
hisj
ob.Ipr
omi
se
Iwon’
tdisappointyou.”
Me:“
Ihopeso.
”

Ileaveherr oom andheadt othekit

chen.Itakea
bot t
leofwi neandagl assandDor i
tosandgot othe
TVr oom.Ipl acethewi neandglassont hecof
fee
table.Ibrowset hroughthechannelsandfinal
ly
settl
ef orBETBl ack-i
sh.Xol
icomest otheTVr oom
andIt ellhertotakeawi negl
assandanysnacki n
thepant ry,shecomesbackwi ththeglassand
pringles.Shesitsnexttomeandshepour sthe
winef orthebothofus.

Me:“
sot
ellmeaboutyourf
ami
ly.
”
Her:“
mom i
sint
henavyanddadi
sapol
iceof
fi
cer
.
Iam t
heonl
ychi
ld.
”
Me:“
yeyyourpar
ent
sar
eher
oes.
”Shel
aughs.
Her
:“yeaht
heyar
eandIam pr
oudchi
ld.
”
Me:“
howi
sitl
ikenott
ohavesi
bli
ngs?
”
Her:“i
tcanbebor
ingbutdadi
smybestf
ri
endsoI
neverfel
tmuchofavoid.
”
Me:“
whatdi
dyouwannabegr
owi
ngup?
”
Her:“Ineverhadanydreamsorinspir
ati
onsbutI
wantedt obesomethi
ngt hatwon’
trequi
remet o
studybecauseIam notgift
edacademicall
y.”She
saysandl ooksdown.

Me:“ heyyoudon’
thavet obeashamedoft hat
.You
arenotstupidorwhateverwordanyonehasever
call
edyou.Noteveryoneissupposedtogot o
universi
tyi
nordert
ogetaj ob.Looknowyouar e
i
nexper i
encedandyouhaveaj obthatwil
lpayyou
mor ethan5k.Youdon’thavetopaybil
lsorrentor
sendt hemoneytoyourparents.I
t’
sjustf
oryour
ownenj oyment.Don’tl
ookdownuponyour sel
f
becauseyoudon’ thaveadegr eeanddon’tbe
i
ntimidatedbygraduates.Therearepeoplewhogo
tovarsi
ty,gr
aduateanddon’ tgetj
obsafterwar
ds.
Consideryoursel
flucky.
”

Her
:“t
hankyousi
si.
”
Me:“
sohowoldar
eyouanddoyouhavesomeone
i
nyourl
if
e?”
Her:“Iam 21andnoIdon’thaveaboyfri
end.I
dat
edi nhighschoolandwhenIwasdoi nggrade12
Il
ostmyvi rgi
nit
y.ButnowIam justsi
ngleandnot
l
ooking.”
Me:“youandmebot hsister.Cheerstosingl
eton.
”
Shegigglesandraiseshergl asssothatwecan
toast
.Wecont i
nuechat t
ingandget ti
ngtoknow
eachother.Sheisnotthatshyi t’
sjustt
hatshe
needstobecomf ortabl
ef i
rstbeforeshecanbef r
ee.
.
.
Thenextmor ningIgetreadyf orworkandhead
downst ai
rswi t
hal lmystuff.Ifi
ndKandXol i
maki ngbr eakfasttoget
her.Theyseem t ogetalong,
whi chisexact l
ywhatIneed.Ican’ thave
housemat eswhohat eeachot her.Thatwouldmake
l
ivingcondi ti
onsunbear able.Igreetthem andsiton
thebar st
oolpl acingmyt hi
ngsont hefreespacein
thecount er.Khandsmeabowlofwheetbi xandI
starteati
ng.

Xol
i:“
sosisiwi
llIbegoi
ngwi
thyout
owor
korwi
llI
beworki
ngathome? ”
Me:“Kpl easefixthepoolhouseandturniti
ntoher
off
ice.Iwillgetfur
nit
uretomakeitacompl et
e
off
iceoryouguyscangoshoppi ngtoday.Youjust
needadesk, 2chair
s,j
uststaf
fnjeneededinan
off
ice.”
K:“
youcangiveust
hemoneyFuthysothatwecan
goshop.
”It
akeoutmyphoneandtransf
er15kt
oK.
Me:“Ihopet
hatwi
llbeenough.I
fitai
n’tplease
sendmeamessagesot hatIcanadd.Pleasebuya
4in1print
er.Don’tforgetA4paper
sandink.You
canGoogleotherstuffthati
sneededi
nanof fi
ce.
”I
standupandcollectmyst uf
f.“
Seeyoulat
er.”I
headtowork.

Ijustgeti nt
omypr ivat eelevatortoavoi dnoisy
empl oyeeswhowi l
lbeaski ngmeaboutt he
scandal sthathappenedovert heweekendwi t
h
Mvel o.Igett omyof fi
ceandZahf ollowssoonaf ter
.
Weexchangegr eetingsandshesi tsdown.Ihand
herthesket chesoft heNongomapal acewhi chI
fi
nishedl astnight.Isl eptaround2am because
todayIwant edtost artonKuhl e’
ssecr ethouse.It
won’tbeahassl ebecauset hereisn’tmuchdet ai
l
whendr awingit.Hisexpensi vefeatur eswi l
lbe
donebyt hebui l
ders.Zahheadst ot he3D
depar tmentandIst ar twitht hesecrethousepr oject
.
It’
sjustaboutl uncht imewhent hedooropensand
mybr otherGcinowal ksin.Ilastsawhi mlast
mont handIhavemi ssedhi m.Ist andupandat t
ack
him wi t
hahug.
Him:“goodtoknowIhavebeenmi ssed.
”Igiggl
e
andhithisshoul
derplayf
ull
y.Il
eadhimtothe
couchandwebot hsitdown.
Me:“
towhatdoIowet
hispl
easantsur
pri
sevi
sit
?”
Him:“
Ifi
gur
edyou’rebusysoIj
ustwantedtost
op
byandsayhibecauseIwasint
heneighbor
hood.”
Me:“nei
ghbor
hoodyani
?Awuzenzi
mdal
a.”Webot
h
l
augh.
Hi
m:“andIal
sowantedyoutotakemeoutf
or
l
unchatt
hisr
est
aurantdownst
airs.
”
Me:“youandf ood.”Il
aughbeforetakingmyphone
andwal l
et.Weheadt otherest
aurant.Weorderand
waitwhil
echatti
ng.“Sobesidesfreefood,whatel
se
broughtyouhere?”helaughs.
Him:“t
hereisameet i
ngathomeonFr iday.SoI
wantedtoinf
orm youaboutitfacetof
acesot hat
youdon’tf
orget
.Alsotherentswantyoutospend
theweekendwiththem.”Iexhalel
oudl
y.Awhol e
weekend?That’
stoomuch.
Me:“
whati
sthemeet
ingabout
?”
Hi
m:“umemul
okaNot
handowi
thi
s29t
hthi
s
mont
h.”
Me:“umemulohowkubandakanj ena?Baf
una
ukugodol
isai
zinganezabant
u?”

Him:“ shewasbor ninAugustsoshewant s

everythingthatconcernshert ohappeninher
mont h.”Thewai t
ressbr i
ngsourf oodandwest art
eating.“BusiandLelear eal sogoingtobet here.”I
sigh.Ijusthopetherewon’ tbeanyf i
ghtsthistime
around.Busii ssochi l
dishsomet imes,sheact slike
alastbor n.Imeanwhowoul dn’
tacceptandl ove
theirsibli
ngsbecauset heyar epl
ussize?Shei st he
onewhoi ssupposedt obemor eaccepti
ngofusas
thef i
rstchil
dsot hatNot handocant akenot esfrom
her.Insteadsheact sli
kebei ngchubbyisadi sease
somet imes.That’
swhyIpr eferLeeandNomaover
myownsi st
ers.

Me:“
sohowmuchmoneydoyouwant ?
”hegives
meaninnocentl
ook.“
IknowyouGci
no.Youcoul
d
havesentavoicenoteorl
etmom tellmethi
s.The
factt
hatyoucameal lt
hewayherejustt
oinfor
m
memeansyoual sowantmoneyorsomething.
”
Him:“
fi
ne.It
’snott
hatexpensi
ve.Iwi
llonl
yneed
R2000fori
t.
”
Me:“
whati
sit
?”
Him:“
aBathuMojaEdit
ionbrownsneaker.I
t’
snot
R2000butIal
soneedchangesisi.
”Irol
lmyeyes
andtr
ansf
erthemoneyhewant s.Hejumpsfrom
hi
sseatandhugsme.Aftert
heexcitementhasdied
downheretur
nstohi
sseat.
Me:“j
ustsoyouknowIwon’tbebuyi
ngyouthe
out
fi
tthatyouwi
llbewear
ingememulweni
.”
Him:“sisit
hedevi
lisaliar
.Don’tmakehim useyou.
Don’
tal l
owhimin.fi
re!Fir
e!Fi
re!”Il
augh
hyst
ericall
y.
Me:“you’
reaski
ngformoneynowwhileyoustil
l
wantmet obuyyouclot
hesagai
nthi
smont h.You
ar
eabusingme.”
Him:“Iam prettysure2ki snothingtoyousi si.2kt o
youislikeunwel eekhanda.Nomal uwaol ulodwa
akubonakalinokuthili
wephifuthakunamehl uko.
Wenayou’ retheblackBillGates.Youar enotint he
makingbutyouhaveal readymadei t.Yougoti nto
theForbes30under30l astyear.Youown6car s.
Whyuzokhal iswazimpahl ananje?”Il augh.Allt his
prai
sej ustf
orclothes.Hhaybakwet hu, l
astborn
expl
oitati
onisreal.

Me:“
thul
aGci
no,
thul
a.”
Him:“youknowIam right.
”Wef i
nisheati
ngandwe
gooursepar at
eways,ofcourseafterpr
omisi
ng
thatIwil
lfi
ndanoutfi
tforhim.
.
.
Igetbacktomywor kandfi
nishthesecr ethouse
sket
ches.Ialr
eadyhadapictur
eofitinmi ndsoit
wassomucheasi ertoputi
tint
opaper .Itakethe
sket
chandheadt othe3Ddepartment.Its5:30pm
somostoft hest
affhavel
eftbutIf
indt henewgi r
l
Mel
odyst
il
lwor
king.

Me:“
whyar
eyoust
il
lher
e?”
Her:“
Ihadaf amil
yemer gencythi
smor ni
ngsoI
cameinlate.Ij
ustwanttofini
shtoday’
sworkfir
st
befor
erushinghome.”Iplacethesket
chesinher
desk.
Me:“Ineedt
hosedonebyt omorr
ow10am.Pl ease
don’
tshowittoanyoneelseandyoumustsubmit
them t
omyofficepersonal
ly.
”
Her
:“okayboss.
”Shenodssever
alt
imes.
Me:“ andnexttimedon’
twor ksolat
e.Ratherarr
ive
earl
ierthanusualthenextmorningthanworking
yourbut tof
fsol at
eandalone.
”Itur
nonmyheel s
andheadout .

Iarr
iveathome, t
akeashowerandheadt ot
he
dini
ngroom tojoi
ntheladiesforsupper.Kcooked
ri
ceandlambst ewwithsalads.Shei sagoodcook,
shedeservestobeachef .Weallsitaroundthe
tabl
eandeat.Aftereati
ngKbr ingsdesertandwe
munchoni t
.Afterthatshetakesthedishestothe
kit
chenandXoliasksifwecangot othepoolhouse
soIcanseehernewof fi
ce.Sheseemsexci tedand
nervousatt
hesamet i
me.

Weenterthepoolhouseandi
tlookssobeaut
if
ul
andcozy.Honest
lyifIknewi
thadthi
smuch
pot
enti
alIwouldhavemadeitmyof f
ice.

Me:“youguysoutdidyoursel
ves.Thi
slooks
beauti
ful
.Yaziaf
terbui
ldingandsett
li
nginatJozi
andCapeTownIwast hinki
ngofrenovat
ingmy
house.”
Xoli:“whywouldyoudot hatsi
si?Thishouseis
beautifulandt
hef actt
hatyoudesigneditfr
om
scratchmakesi thaveasigni
fi
cantmeani ngtoyou.
Ifyouwannadesi gnanotherhouseI’dsuggestyou
buyanot hersi
te.”
Me:“Iwi
llt
hinkabouti
t.Soanyr
esear
chyoudi
d
t
oday?”
Xol
i:“
yesbuti
t’
snotenoughtopresenti
ttoyou
nowbutbytomorr
oweveningI’
dbedone.”
Me:“
don’trushyour
sel
f.Youmi ghtendupgetti
ng
mesomet hi
ngImaynotl i
ke.Takeyourti
me.”Isay
asweareheadingbackinsidethehouse.“
Good
ni
ght
.”
Xol
i:“
goodni
ghtsi
si.
”
Me:“Kmybr otheri
scomingthi
sweek,Idon’
tknow
whichdaybutpleasepr
eparehi
sroom i
ncasehe
showsupear l
iert
hanexpect
ed.
”Shenods.“Good
night
.”
K:“
nightboss.
”

Iheadt omyr oom andgetundercover s.Therei

sno
needf ormet osleeppastmidnighttoday.Iam
dreadingFridaybecausetherelat
ionshipIhave
withmysi stersdoesn’
tall
owust obei nthesame
spacef oralongerperi
od.ButIam doi ngthi
sformy
parentsandbr other
s.AndIalsowannabet he
biggerperson.Honestl
ytheirbeefwi t
hmei s
absurd.AndIt hinkmebecomi ngmor esuccessful
thanBusimayhaveaddedpet
rolt
otheal
ready
burni
ngfir
e.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
07:
49] :CHAPTER7

Iam sitti
ngonmyof fi
ceor ganizi
nganappoi ntment
wit
hSi mami soMt hembu, aver
ytalent
eddesi gner
fr
om Empangeni .Sheisr eal
lygoodatherjobt hatI
don’treall
yminddr i
vingt oEmpangenijustsoIcan
wearoneofhercr eat
ionsememul wenika
Nothando.Thedoorf liesopenandMvel owal ksin
carr
yingwhi t
er osesandaboxofchocol ate.Kante
whatdoesi ttaketogett hroughthisguy?Sidlene
kwaphelalapho(wef uckedanditendedther
e).Yoh
i
st hishowguysf eelwhenaoneni ghtst
andkeeps
forci
ngthemselvesintothei
rli
ves?HhayshameI
regretsl
eepi
ngwi thhim now.

Mvelo:“
sawubonaMaNdosi.”Hi
m sayi
ngmycl an
namesdoesn’tevenexci
temeanymorebecause
uyadi
na(heisannoying)
.
Me:“Shamasewhatbri
ngsyouher e?Dowehave
anappoint
mentmaybe?”heplacesthefl
owersand
chocol
ateonmydeskandsitsdownoppositeme.
Mvel
o:“di
dImaybedosomethi
ngwrongt
ooffend
youormyper
formancewasn’
tupt
oyourst
andard
andnowyou’
repushi
ngmeaway?”
Me:“
Mvelowhatdi
dIsayt
oyout
hef
ir
stdayyou
t
ookyourshot
?”
Mvel
o:“
thatyoudon’
tdor
elat
ionshi
psbut
…”
Me:“Mveloasif
animinanawe( youandIarenott he
same).Youarefrom acommitt
edr el
ati
onshipand
youarelooki
ngforstabi
li
tywhereveryouaregoing.
Ipl
acedmycardsont hetabl
ethef
irstdaywe
tal
kednowIdon’tunder
standwhyyouar ebehaving
l
ikethi
s.Weneverdatedandweneverwi l
l.What
happenedonFri
daywasnot hi
ngbutharml essf
un.”
Mvelo:“j
ustsoyouknowIam notgoi ngt ogi
veup
onyou.Pushmeawayal lyouwantbutIam not
goinganywhere.Bythewayyourreceptioni
stgave
meyournumbersoexpectacal lfr
om mever y
soon.”Hestandsupandexi t
smyof f
ice.Ihuffi
n
frust
rat
ion.Whatwouldi
ttakeforhi
mt obackt he
fuckoff
?YohThi xo.

AnywaysItaketheflowersandthrowthem int he
bi
n.Itakethechocolat
eandheadt oZah’ sof
fice.I
fi
ndherwithBobandseemsl i
ketheyarebusyi n
herdrawi
ngboardbutIneedt oventwet husot hey
oughttohearmeout .PlusIam t
heirbossafterall.I
goandsitinZah’schairbehi
ndherdesk.

Me:“
sor
ryt
odi
stur
bguysbutthereissomet
hing
i
nsi
demeandi
yangishi
sa.
”Zahlaughsandcomes
tot
akeapieceofchocol
ate.Bobfol
lowspursui
t
andtheybot
hsitdownandgi vemethei
ratt
enti
on.
Zah:“
sowhat
’swr
ong?
”
Me:“Iwil
lst
artwi
thyouBob.Haveyoueverhada
onenightst
and?”
Bob:“
yeah.
”
Me:“
whati
sthepur
poseofaoneni
ghtst
and?
”
Bob:“togi
veyoupl easureonthatnightandnever
cont
actyouagai n.Actuall
yshedoesn’thaveto
havemynumberbecausewef i
ndeachotherinthe
cl
uborwher ever,wear ebothhorny,wedon’tknow
muchabouteachot herandthat’
sthebeautyofit.
Wef uckandforgetabouteachot herandonlyhold
ontothememor y.
”
Me:“sowhathappenswhentheonenightstand
wantsmor eandst
art
sinser
ti
nghi
mselfintoyour
dai
lyli
fe?WhatdoyoudobecauseminaIcan’ tdeal
shame? ”
Bob:“youaret
alki
ngaboutt
hatsoccerpl
ayeryou
ar
etrendingwi
th?”
Me:“
don’
ttel
lmewear
est
il
ltr
endi
ng.
”
Bob:“youar
e.Thepict
uresofyouki
ssi
ngandhi
m
per
kingyourfor
eheadwentvir
al.
”
Me:“dearGod.Whatdi
dIdotodeser
vet
his?
”I
bur
rymyf aceinmyhands.
Zah:“bossyouhaveniceli
feproblemsshame.I
real
lyli
kenewsbutPr i
nceKuhleisinboar
droom 1
wait
ingforyou.
”Istandupquickly.
Me:“
whatt
hef
uck?
!Whydi
dn’
tyout
ellme?
”
Zah:“
rel
axhej
ustent
eredt
hebui
ldi
ng.
”
Me:“dudeyounearl
ycausedmeahear tatt
ack.He
maybeacl i
entbuthei
sstil
lroyal
tyandyoudon’t
makeroyalpeopl
ewait
.”Iheadoutwithher
f
oll
owingme.

Itakeal
lthestuffIneedandweheadt oboar
droom
1.Wef i
ndhiml ooki
ngdashingasalways.Wesit
downaf t
ergreeti
ngeachother.Zah’
sphonebeeps.
Shechecksthemessagesandt henl
ookatme.
Zah:“
Iam sor
ryboss.
”
Me:“i
t’
sfi
neyoucango.Igott
hiscover
ed.
”She
st
andsupandleave.
Kuhl
e:“
Iact
ual
lyenj
oyyourcompanymor
e.”
Me:“ pit
ythisisj
ustabusinessmeet i
ngsolet
’sget
ri
ghtt oit
.”Ihandhimthefil
esandst andup.“
You
willhavetoforgi
vemebutIl ovepresenti
ngwhil
e
standingandmovi ngaround.”Hesmi l
es.
Kuhl
e:“thefl
oorisallyour
s.”Lucki
lytheproj
ect
ori
s
al
lset
.Iopent hefi
lewiththefi
rsthouse,t
he
Mandlanzi
nihouse.

Me:“ t
hishousewi l
lbebuiltwithalowerbasement ,
basement ,groundf l
oor,fi
rstf
loorandar ooftopand
al
soar ondaveloutsideandapoolhouse.Thel ower
basementi syourgar age,whereyouwi llst
orethe
cars.It
’smuchmor esaf erandconvenientbecause
shouldyourhouseber obbedt hepharaswi l
lbe
caughtbef or
et heycanevenf igureoutthatthecars
arestoredint helowerbasement .
”Hel aughs.
“Thenwehavet hebasement .Itwil
lhaveabedr oom,
j
ustf orcont r
ol,andal soabat hroom.Itwillalso
haveami nikitchen;anadul tplayroom wi thadult
gamesl ikeisnookerkanj ethenaci nemar oom.I t
willbedividedwi thwal lt
ocei l
ingglasswal ls.Ther
e
willal
sobeasaf eroom, justincase.”Hel aughs
again.Thisi saf i
rst,wheneverIam pr esentingthe
cli
entpaysat t
entionandhar dl
ybl i
nksbuti nthis
caseKuhl ekeepsl aughinglikeheisatTr evor
Noah’ sonemanshow.“ NgiyekeNdabezi t
ha
(shouldIst op)?”

Kuhle:“
nopleaseconti
nue.I
t’
sjustt
hatyouar
est
il
l
i
nsisti
ngthatIam gangst
erMaCele.
”
Me:“untilyoupr ovemeot herwisethenit’
sgui l
ty
unti
lproveni nnocent .
”Hechuckles.“Wehavet he
groundfloor.Itwillhave4bedrooms;3bat hrooms;
aseparatet oil
et;l
oungewi thafir
eplace;ki
tchen
withanopenpl ant her
ewillbenowal lseparati
ngit
withthedi ni
ngr oom.Therewi l
lalsobeyourst udy
oroffi
cet henani ndoorgym. ”
“Thefir
stfl
oorwithhave6bedr oomsincludi
ngthe
mai nbedr
oom wi t
hen- sui
tesandt
heyallwil
lhave
balconi
es.Therewillalsobeanopenspacein
betweenjustforcontrol.
”

Kuhl
e:“
youalwaysusethi
sjustforcontr
olwhen
pr
esent
ingorunyel
aminanje(you’r
ejustki
ddi
ng
me)?
”Iburstoutl
aughi
ng.
Me:“Kuhl
eIhave2morehousest
opr
esentso
pl
easestopdi
stur
bingme.
”
Kuhle:“
Ial
readytr
ustyourj
udgmentnoma
ungangapresent
anjetheot
her2.
”
Me:“hhay,hhayKuhl
eItookmyti
meprepar
ingt
his
pr
esentati
onboh.Youcan’tdi
smi
ssmeli
kethat
.”

Kuhle:“awaniamangaMaCele(what’swit
hthel i
es)
?
Youar eapr owenayounolongerpr
eparefora
presentat
ion.Youj
ustfi
nishdr
awingandbel ike
‘
hhayIknowwhatIdr ewsopresent
ingitshouldbe
easy’.
”Ilaughagai nbecausewhatheissayi
ngis
sotrue.Idon’tknowwhent hel
astt
imeIprepar
ed
myselfforapr esentat
ionwas.Mostoftheti
meZah
doesthepr esenti
ng.

Me:“ anywaysyouhavet her oof

topwithagazebo
andwi llhavecoucheswher eyouwillchil
landhave
fewdr inks.Ther
ealsowillbeahottubt here.There
willbeast air
casei
nsideandout si
deleadingt othe
rooftop…”

Kuhl
e:“
justf
orcont
rol
?”heaskswi
thasmi
rk.Fuck
Iwasgoingt
osaythatvel
e.
Me:“
sowhatdoyout
hinkoft
hef
ir
sthouse?
”
Kuhle:“
Iloveever
ythi
ngabouti
tandt
heallf
eatures
youadded.Iam sati
sfi
ed.
”Inodandmoveontothe
nextone.
Me:“yourpalacemyki
ngwil
lhave2r ondavelsas
youhadstated.Al
soacot
tageforyourservantsor
hel
pers.
”
Kuhl
e:“
Ili
kehowyousaymyki
ng.
”
Me:“yazi
ningi
zoyekangi
phindengingakwenzel
i
l
ezi
ndluzakho(knowthatIwil
lceaseanddonot
bui
ldyourhouses)
.”
Kuhl
e:“Iam sor
ry.Pl
easecont
inue.
”Hesays
pout
ing.Il
aughathim.

Me:“wel lt
hebasementi st hegar age.Thegr ound
fl
oorhasal obbyl i
kehot el;akitchen;l ounge;l ivi
ng
room;di ninghal l
;4bedr oomswi thbat hroomsand
yourst udyr oom andal soat hroner oom j ustfor
control.Thef irstf l
oorhas6bedr oomswi th
bathrooms;yourwi fe’sst udyr oom;ani ndoorgym
andaci nemar oom.Thesecondf loorhas6
bedroomswi thbat hr ooms, ami niki tchenandani n-
housebar .Thet hir
df l
oorwi l
lhavet hemai n
bedroom;3bedr oomswi thbat hrooms;ani ndoor
sparoom j ustforcont rol.Thent her oof t
ophasa
heli
padbecauseIam pr ettysur eyoudohavea
chopper .Itwillal sohavef eaturesl i
ket her ooftop
from theMandl anzinihouse.I twi llalsohavean
el
evat
orandst
air
casei
nsi
deandout
side.Any
comments?
”

Kuhle:“It
oldyouthatIam sat
isf
ied.Event
hough
mywi feisn’
tworki
ngyoudi dwellbyconsi
deri
ngan
off
iceforher.Maybeshewi l
ldevelopahobbyas
ti
megoesby. ”
Me:“
thent
her
eisyourgangst
erhouse.
”
Kuhle:“MaCeleIam anappdevel
oper.Myyounger
si
sterisahackerandmyyoungerbrotheri
sanIT
geeksowel ikehavi
ngasecretpl
ace.Thi
sisour
secretpl
ace.
”

Me:“ okayIbel i
eveyou.Anywaysi thasal ower
basementwhi chhasat unnell
eadi ngoutside
somewher ejustincaseyoufindyour sel
finat i
ght
situat
ion.Thebasementwher ether ei
samedi c
room, aweaponr yroom andtherei salsoasecret
elevatorfr
om t hebasementtothel owerbasement .
Thegr oundf l
oorwillbeli
keanynor malhousewi t
h
aki t
chen,diningroom,lounge,t
oiletandstudy.It
has4ent rances.1frontdoor,backdoor,thedoor
thatleadsyouinsidethehousef rom t
hegar age
thenasecr ethi
ddendoort hatwillbel
eadingyou
strai
ghttothewoods.The1stf l
oorwillhaveamain
bedroom andaguestbedr oom andast udy.You
canchangeoneoft hestudytobeyourwor king
room. ”

Kuhle:“eventhoughIam nogangsterIam happy

wit
hever ythi
nginthi
shouse.Ihavenocompl ains
oranythingIwouldli
ketoadd.”
Me:“okayIguessIwillhavesomeonesendyouthe
i
nvoicesothattheycanstartwi
thbui
ldi
ngyour
houses.
”
Kuhl
e:“t
hankyou.Sowheni
sourf
ri
endl
yget
t
ogether
?”

Me:“youdon’tf
orgetneh?”henods“wel
lthi
sFr
iday
Iam goi
nghomef ortheweekend.Somaybewe
cangettoget
hernextFri
day.”
Kuhle:“
soareyouandShamaser
eal
lyani
tem?
”he
asksinatoneIcan’
tdeci
pher
.

Me:“Kuhl eIdidt ellyouthatIdon’tdatesot hat

wouldn’thavechangedi namat teroffewdays.
MveloandIf uckedonceandt hatwasi t
.Hewasa
onenightst andandnowhei sact ingasifwear e
dat
ing.WhatIhat ethemosti sthathei snot
di
smi ssingther umor sthatareci r
culat
ingthatIand
heareani tem.Thi sisoneofther easonsIdi dn’
t
wannahangoutwi thyoui npublic.”

Kuhl
e:“
soyousl
eptwi
thhi
m?”
Me:“don’
tgetjeal
ousmyking.Iam si
ngl
eIcan
sl
eepwithwhoeverIwant.
”Her ol
lshi
seyesand
st
andsup,Ialsostandup.
Kuhle:“seeyousoon.CanIgetahug? ”Ichuckle
andhughi m.Godwhydoeshehavet osmellso
goodandhavesocomf or
tabl
earms?Iwoul dn’t
mindf al
li
ngasleepinthem ever
ynight.Wefinal
ly
breakthehugandl ookateachother’
seyes.
Me:“
yousmel
lni
ce.
”Hegi
ggl
es.
Kuhl
e:“youtoo.Goodbye.
”Hel
eaves.Whatt
hef
uck
j
usthappened?
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
07:
49] :CHAPTER8

Igettomyf l
oorandf i
ndZahwi t
h3otherpeople.
TheyarewearingallblacksoIsuspecttheyarethe
bodyguardsandthedr iver
.Yerrt
hemal ebodyguard
i
sanent ir
emealIwoul dn’tmindeat
ing.Just
kiddi
ng.Iwouldn’
tsleepwi t
hanempl oyee,Iam not
l
ikethat.
Zah:“soguyst hi
sisMissNtombifut
hiCelebutyou
cancal lherFuthybecauseshehatesbeingcall
ed
byMissCel e.Sheisyourboss.Fut
hythi
si s
Mabut hoNzamaandThobekaNgwenyayour
bodyguar dsandt hi
sisZamokuhleSimelaneyour
dri
ver.
”
Me:“ni
cetomeetyouguys.
”Ishakethei
rhands.“
I
hopethei
rcont
ract
shavebeensetandsigned.
”
Zah:“
yeah,
ever
ythi
nghasbeendone.
”
Me:“
okay.IguessIwil
lseeyouguyst
omor
rowat
myhouseat7am brightandear
ly.
”
Zamokuhl
e:“
sur
eboss.
”Ipr
oceedt
omyof
fi
ce.

Ifi
ndar chit
ectst hereandIf rownt henr emember
theBlueDi amondPr oject.Wecombi neallt he
sketchesandIt el lMelodyt osubmi tthefinalsketch
tothe3Ddepar t
ment .Sheagr eesandIdi smissthe
meet i
ng.Af t
erthatIheadhome.Ipl acemyst uf
fin
myr oom, wearsl eepersandt henheadt ot hepool
house.IfindXol ibusyt ypingsomet hingont he
l
aptop.Isitont hechai ravailableandcl earmy
thr
oat
.Sher
aisesherheadandsmi
leswhenshe
seesme.

Me:“
fi
ndanyr
est
aur
antowner
s?”
Xol
i:“
yeah.
”Shehandsmehertabl
etwhi
chhasa
l
ist
.Il
ookatitandchoosemypi
ck.
Me:“ SamukeleTobo.That’
smypick.Contacther
andf i
ndoutifsheisavail
ablet
omorrow.Ifsheis,
setupal unchmeetingwithmeandher .Howisthe
searchforspacecomingup? ”
Xoli
:“IhavefoundafewinJHBbutal
lthat
’slef
tis
narr
owi ngt
hem downaccordi
ngt
otheirsi
zes,
envi
ronmentandsafety.
”
Me:“okay.Iam ti
redsoIam j
ustgoi
ngt
otakea
nap.Seeyoulater.
”
Xoli
:“okay.
”Igotomyroom, t
akeaqui
ckshower
,
wearmyover si
zedt
-shi
rtandtakemywel
l
deservednap.

*
**NARRATED*
**
Mvelowassi tt
ingathishomet hinkingaboutthe
amazingNt ombifut
hiCele.Hehasf al
lenforher
hardandheknewt hattherewasnot urni
ngback,
onl
ysur r
enderingtolove.Helovedherandhe
sworethathewoul dhavet omakeherhi snomat t
er
whatitt
akes.Heknewt hatshedoesn’ twanta
seri
ousrelati
onshipbuthewasgoi ngt oconvi
nce
herunti
lshechangeshermi nd.

Hismi nddr i
ftedtothenightofpassiontheyhad.
Shet ookhi mt oaplacehehasneverbeenbef or
e.It
wast hebestsexhehaseverdonei nhisenti
reli
fe
andhedi dn’
twantt ohavesexwi t
hanyoneel sebut
her.Hi sheartbrokewhenhewokeupt hefol
lowing
mor ninganddi dn’tf
indhernexttohim.Hisego
wasbr ui
sed.Het houghtthatmaybehedi dn’
t
perform well.

Hewasdr i
nkingHei
nekenwhenCeboandAndile
goti
nthelounge.Andi
lewenttofet
ch3beer
sforall
3ofthem becauseMvelo’
sbeerwasnear
lyf
ini
shed.
Hesatdownandopenedt hebeer
sandpassedthe
othert
wot ohi
sfr
iends.Hecoul
dseethat
somethingwasbother
inghi
m sohedecidedt
oask.

Andi
le:“
Shamasewhat
’sup?Youdon’
tlookgood.
”
Mvelo:“IwenttoseeFuthyandshewasnothappy
toseeme.I nfacti
tseemedl i
kemypresence
i
rri
tat
edher .Il
ovethatgi
rlandIdon’
tknowwhatI
shoulddonext.”
Cebo:“
don’
ttel
lmeyouar
egi
vinguponher
.”
Mvel
o:“noIam not.ButIneednewst
rat
egi
eson
howtoapproachher.”
Andi l
e:“doalivevideodeclari
ngyourl ovetoher.
Alreadyyourfanst hinkyouguysar et ogether.Thi
s
grandgest ur
emaymakeherf allforyou.Justsay
tothevideoyoudi dsomet hingbadandbegyour
fanst ogoandpl eadyourcaset oher .Ifthatdoesn’
t
wor kthenIdon’tknowwhatwi l
l.”
Cebo:“notbad.Andmaybebuyheradiamond
neckl
aceandear r
ingsandhavet
hosedel
iver
edt
o
herhouse.Youknowdi
amondsar
eagi
rl
’sbest
fr
iend.
”
Mvel
o:“
yout
hinkt
hatwoul
ddot
het
ri
ck?
”
Andil
e:“
youwon’
tknowunt
ilyout
ry.
”Mvel
o
nodded.

Hetookhi siPad,wentonl i
netoaj ewelrystore
nearby.Heor der
edt hediamondneckl aceand
earr
ingsset.HeputFut hy’saddresssot hatt
hey
canbedel i
veredatherhouse.Het hent ookhis
phoneandl oggedi ntoInstagram.Hewas
desperat
ef orFuthy’sl
ovet hathedidn’tknowwhat
theconsequencesofhi sact i
onswi l
lbe.Hest art
ed
theli
vevideo.

Mvel o:“heyguys.Thi
sismyf ir
sttimedoi ngal i
ve
video.Firstofal
lIwannathankyouguysf ort he
l
oveyouhavebeenshowi ngme.Ir eal
lyappr eci
ate
i
t.Secondl yther
eisthi
samazi ng,phenomenaland
beaut i
fulwomanbyt henameofNt ombifuthiCele,
theCEOofDubandl el
aConstructi
onCompany.She
hasmanagedt ocapturemyhear tinsuchashor t
periodoftime.Ihaver eal
izedt hatIcan’tli
velife
withouther.MaNdosii fyou’rewat chingthisjust
knowt hatthisheart,
”hepoi ntedhi schest,“
itbeats
foryouonl y.Ihavefall
endeepl yf oryouand
somet i
mesi tscaresme.Pl easeal lowmet ol ove
youandt r
eatyoulikeaqueent hatyouar e.Nani
guyspl easedoputupagoodwor dforme.”he
chuckled.“Byeguys.”Heendedt helivevi
deo.

Andi
le:“
mant
hatwasdeep.
”Theyal
lchuckl
ed.
.
.
Kuhlehadj ustf
ini
shedviewi ngMvel o’
slivevideo.
Hechuckl edandshookhi shead.Tr uthbet ol
dhe
hadf al
lenforMissCelebutdi dn’
twantt oactoutof
hisfeeli
ngsbecausefir
stlyhewasmar r
iedand
secondlyheknewt hatiftheywer etopur suea
rel
ationshipFut
hywoul dn’tsett
leforbeinga
secondwi febecauseshei stooindependentf or
that
.
Anywaysheputhi sphonedown, hedi dn’teven
knowwhatmadehi m viewMvel o’
slivevi deointhe
fi
rstplace.Rightthatmomenthi swifedescended
thestairswearingashor tti
ghtdresswi th6i nch
sti
let
tos.Hechuckl edindisbeli
efandcl i
ckedhis
tongue.Hiswi f
ejusthadt heabili
tytoupsethi m
mostoft hetimeandat tracti
ngbadpr ess.He
wonder edifshewi l
leverchangeherbehavi orwhen
shehasbeencr ownedt heQueenoft heZul u
Kingdom.

Sthabi
le:“
owwhoneyIdidn’
tknowyou’
rebackf
rom
theoff
ice.
”Shesmi
ledathim.
Kuhle:“
wheredoyout hi
nkyou’r
egoingdressedli
ke
that
?DoIhavet oremindever
ytimeyougooutt hat
youareaprincessandyoumustdr essandact
accordi
ngl
y?”sheroll
edhereyes.
Sthabi
le:“mylovet
hisdressi
snotevent
hatshor
t.
”
Kuhleraisedhi
seyebrows.
Kuhl
e:“
real
ly?Bendoverandt
ouchyourheel
s.”She
l
aughedandKuhlegavehert
hedeat
hst
areandshe
sawthathewasseri
ous.
St
habi
le:“
babel
ist
en…”
Kuhle:“
youcan’tevenbendbecauseyouknowt hat
yourdressistooshortanditwillexposeyour
behi
nd.Nowt ellyourhusbandwher eyouare
headedto.”hesaidsarcast
ical
ly.
St
habil
e:“
toCubanawi
thmyf
ri
ends.
”Kuhl
e
l
aughedangr
il
y.
Kuhl
e:“
whoar
eyoumar
ri
edt
oSt
habi
le?
”
St
habi
le:“
you.
”
Kuhl
e:“
andwhatam i
?”
St
habi
le:“
thepr
inceoft
heZul
uKi
ngdom.
”

Kuhle:“soyouasapr i
ncessandt hefuturequeen,
doyout hinkt
hisist
her ightat
ti
reforafutur e
queen?”sheshookherhead.“ Somyl ovei fyouno
l
ongerwannabemywi fe,gotoCubanai nt hat
dress.Youwillf
inddi
vor cepaperswait
ingf oryou
byyourbedside.”Hestoodup.“ AndIwillknowi f
youwentbehi ndmyback. ”Het ookhisphoneand
headedout .Sthabi
lewal kedbackupst airswithher
tailbet
weenherl egs.Sheknewbet terthant ocr
oss
Kuhl ebecausehei snotavi ol
entmanbutoncehe
sayshewi l
ldosomet hingthenhewi l
ldoi tandno
onecanchangehi smi nd.Hei skindbutonceyou
pisshim offhecanbeanani mal.
.
.
*
**BACKTOFUTHY*
**
YaziMvel oistesti
ngmeandhewon’ tli
keitwhenI
showhi m myt ruecolour
s.Hedoesn’ tknowt he
consequencesofhi si
mpulsiveacti
ons.Iwas
taki
nganapbutIwokeupaf teranhourbecauseI
don’tsleepduringtheday.AndIwakeupt ofi
nd
thatMvel ohast ur
nedmei ntoacelebrit
y.Idial
Noma’ snumberwi t
hhopest hathecanf inda
soluti
ont othi
s.Sheanswer saf t
er5ringsthat
meansshei stil
lattheof
fice.

Noma:“
Advocat
eBi
yel
aspeaki
ng,
howmayIhel
p
you?
”
Me:“howmuchdoesitcostt
osuesomeonef
or
mi
sleadi
ngt
hepubli
c?”
Noma:“
heytase,
IsawMvel
o’sl
ivevi
deo.Howar
e
youf
eel
ing?
”
Me:“tasewhodoest hat?Hemayt hinkt
hatwas
romanticorsomethinganditmayhavebeen
romanticforsomeoneelsebutnotforme.This
stunti
nfuri
atesme.Hei smakingmehat ehi
m day
byday.Canyouj ustaskoneofyourgangster
cli
entstoeli
minatehim?”shel
aughsandIal so
l
aughbecausesheknowsIam j oki
ng.
Noma:“mnganiIam sensi
ngpapar
azzit
omor
row
morni
ngatDCC.”
Me:“luckymeIhavebodyguardsandyoushoul
d
seemydr i
verandmalebodyguar
d.Theyar
esohot
tase,
theirmusclesdearGod.
”
Noma:“Iam i
nar el
ati
onshi
pFut
hy,
stopt
ryi
ngt
o
cor
ruptme.”Il
augh.
Me:“
anywayswhatshoul
dIdowi
tht
hisi
ssueof
Mvel
o?”
Noma:“i
gnor
eit
.Itshouldblowupsoonandpeopl
e
wil
lmoveontoanotherscandal
.”
Me:“ Ihopesotase.AnywaysNot
handoishavi
ng
umemul omonthend.Youshoul
dcomewi t
hyour
bae.”Shescreams, damagi
ngmyeardr
umsi nt
he
process.
Noma:“yeyIcan’
twai
t,wearegoingtobeslayi
ng
i
nmat chi
ngoutfi
tswi
thbaeninyenyinokushi
ma
kwenunoLee.”
Me:“okusal
ayoitwi
llendi
ntears.
”Sheburstsout
l
aughingandIendthecall
.Ial
socallLeeandtel
l
heraboutumemulokaNothando.Sheisalso
exci
tedabouti
t.

Iwearmysleeper
sandtakemyphone.Igo
downstai
rsandfi
ndKandXol iwatchi
ngTV.Ijoi
n
them.TheyaskmehowIf eelaboutMvel
o’sl
ive
videoandIj
ustbr
ushthequestionasi
de.
Xoli
:“soImanagedt osetupameet ingwithMiss
Tobo.Shewi l
lbeabletoseeyout omorrowather
rest
aurantinDurbanNorth.Thenameoft he
rest
aurantisToboBuzz.Yourmeet i
ngisat14:30.
SoImaysuggestt hatyouf i
nishal
lyourday’
swork
andaf t
erthemeetingyoujustcomebackhome. ”
Me:“
okay.Iwantyoutocomewit
hmet othe
meet
ing.Youareaft
eral
lmyassi
stant
.”
Xol
i:“
ohhokay.
”
Me:“youwil
ltakeanUbert
oDCCt omorr
owat
13:30sot
hatyoucanmeetZahandwewi l
lleave
toget
hert
oToboBuzz.”Shenods.“NowKhaveyou
cookeddi
nner?”
K:“
noIwasaboutt
ost
art
.”
Me:“don’
tbot
her.Iam cr
avingpi
zzatoni
ghtso
pl
easeorderalar
geBBQBaconf ormeandyoucan
al
soorder2foryouguys.”Shenodsandplacest
he
or
der.
K:“soMayibongwepr
oposed.
”Mayibongweisher
boyfr
iend,
theonesheal
waysvisi
tsonSundays.
Me:“
OMG!That
’sawesome.Wher
eist
her
ing?
”
K:“
hesaidIwi
llweari
toncehei
sdonepayi
ng
l
obola.
”
Me:“t
hisi
sgreat
.Iam happyforyou.
”Isidehug
her
.“Nowaft
ergett
ingmarri
edyouwi l
lquityour
j
ob?”
K:“
hel
lno.Iwon’
tbeahousewi
febutIwi
llsur
ely
moveout
.”
Me:“that’
sunderst
andable.AnywaysIhi
red
bodyguardsandadr i
ver.Theywil
lbehere
tomorrowmor ni
ng.Idon’twantyouguysconf
used
whent heyar
ri
ve.”
Xol
i:“
aretheyhot
?”bot
hKandIl
augh.Wher
eist
he
i
nnocentsingl
eNomxoli
si?
Me:“
youwannar
ideamuscl
edbodyguar
d?”she
gi
ggl
es.
Xoli
:“no,
Iwasjustt
hinki
ngaboutt
hevi
ews.
”We
conti
nuelaughi
ng.
K:“
viewsneh?
”shegi
vesherami
schi
evoussmi
le.
Thepi zzaarri
vesandweeatwhi lechatti
ng.Imay
notadmi ti
toutloudbutit’
snicet olivewithother
people.Abi ghousecanbel onelysomet imes.After
eatingwecont inuewatchingTVandat9pm I
excusemysel f.Igot omyr oom, brushmyt eet
hand
getintobed.Ifindamessagef rom Si mami so
sayingIcancomenextweekTuesdaybecauseshe
willbef r
ee.IsentGcinoat exttel
linghimt hatwe
aregoi ngtoEmpangenionTuesday.Hedoesn’ t
evenaskwhywear egoi
ngt here.Hej ustseems
happyaboutt her oadtri
p.Kids.Ipr aymyni ght
prayerandt henf al
lasl
eepaf t
erthat .
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
07:
50] :CHAPTER9
Iwakeupandpr epareforwork.Iheaddownst
air
s
andfindMabutho,Thobeka,Zamokuhle,
Nomxoli
si
andKgomot soaroundtheki
tchencounter.Ki
s
di
shingbreakf
ast.

Me:“
Ihopet
her
eisst
il
lsomel
eftf
orme.
”Kgi
ggl
es.
K:“youusuall
ydon’teatbreakf
asther
esoIdi
dn’t
i
ncludeyouinthi
s.”Iplacemyhandi nmychest
dramati
call
y.
Me:“ suchcrueltyKgomotso.Whotaughtyouthis
evi
lness?Isi tNomxoli
si?
”theybot
hl augh.Thenew
empl oyeeslooksoconfused.Khandsmeabowlof
cerealandIt hankherandsitonavacantbarstool
.
“Sohowar eyouguys?”
Thobeka:“
Iam st
il
lst
uckont
hecr
uel
typar
t.
”Weal
l
l
aughather.
Zamokuhl
e:“
wear
efi
neFut
hy.Howar
eyou?
”
Me:“besi
dest
hepapar
azziIam aboutt
of ace,
Iam
good.Nowdoyouguysthi
nkit
’sagoodi deatoli
ve
i
nyourownspaces?Imeanthereissomuchr oom
i
nthi
shouse,
Idon’
tmi
ndshar
ingi
t.
”
Mabutho:“
wedon’
twannai
mpose.Wear
eokay
wher
ewest ay.
”

Me:“ youknowwhat ?Psek.InfactIam i nstruct

ing
yout ocomest aywi t
hme.I nthatwayIwi llknow
eveni fsomeonet r
iestobreakinatni ght,Iam saf e.
Thati smyf i
naljudgment .”Il
ookatK.“ wher eisthe
courtthingy?”sheopensadr awerandhandsmea
gavel.Ibangi tont hecounter.“Casedismi ssed.
Nextcase. ”Theyal ll
augh.Iactuallyboughtagavel
becausemostoft hetimeLeeandNomaal ways
disagreeandIhavet osettlethedispute,Iam
alwayst hereferee.

K:“sowhenwil
lyouguysbemovi
ngi
nsot
hatwe
canprepar
eyourrooms?
”
Thobeka:“
Iguesst
omor
row.
”
Me:“t
hisweekendyouareoff.Iam goi
nghomesoI
don’
tneedguardst
here.Thatmeansyouguyscan
moveinonSundayaf t
ernoon.Duri
ngtheweekend
goseeyourgi
rl
fri
endsandboyf r
iendsandser
ve
not
icet
oyourlandlor
ds.”
Mabutho:“sur
eboss.
”Ifi
nisheat
ingmycerealand
handthebowltoK.Iopenadrawerandtakeoutthe
carkeysoftheAst
onMar t
inandtheFort
uner.I
handtheAM carkeystoZamokuhleandthe
Fort
uneronestoMabutho.
Me:“
youguyswil
lri
deint
heFort
unerand
Zamokuhl
eandIwil
lri
dei
ntheAstonMart
in.
”I
st
andupandweheadout.
Thobeka:“
howmanycar
sdoyouhave?
”
Me:“
6.”Sheexcl
aimsandqui
cklycol
lect
sher
sel
f.
Weallgeti
ntot
hecarsanddr
iveout.

Wear ri
veatworkandf indjournali
stsatthefront
door.Lordgivemestrength.Zamokuhl eopenst he
doorformeandIgetout .Themi nutemyheell ands
onthef l
oorcamerasstartfl
ashing.Iwoul dn’
tmind
thi
sattenti
onifi
twasj ournal
istswantingt oknow
moreaboutmycompany.Butbecausei t
’sabouta
stupi
dstuntpull
edbyMvelo,
iti
rr
it
atesme.
Mabuthopaveswayf ormeandIentert
hebui
ldi
ng
complet
elyignor
ingt
hequesti
onsbythepr
ess.

Wet akemypr ivateel

evat orandwegett omyof fice.
Theyputmyst uffontopofmyt abl
eandheadout .I
sitonmychai randst artwor king.At10am Zah
bringsmemyl unch.Icanseet hatshewant stotal k
aboutt helivevideobutIj ustdi smissher.Not
everythingisaboutMvel obet huna.AftereatingI
checkmyemai lsandf indoutt hatmyappl i
cati
on
fordoingaPhDi nArchi t
ectureandPl anningat
WI TShasbeenaccept ed.Atl eastsomegoodnews.
Althoughi tmighttakeme4year stocompl etemy
PhD, Idon’tcare,aslongasIam Doct orCel eatthe
end.YeahIdi dmyMast ersaftercompl et
ingmy
Honor s.

Itakemyphoneandcal lmygir
lst
hrougha
confer
encecal
l.Theybothanswer
s.Ital
kbef
ore
theycanevensayhell
o.
Me:“guesswhoyouwillbecall
ingDr
.Cel
ein3or4
year
stocome?”theybothscream.
Noma:“
OMGt
heyaccept
edyou?
”
Me:“
yesgi
rl
.”
Lee:“t
hat
’sgoodnews.Weshouldcelebr
ate.A
nighti
nZimbalij
ustf
orcont
rolnj
e.”
Me:“
whoi
spayi
ng?
”
Lee:“
Iam.
”
Noma:“
thenyay.Sowhenar
ewegoi
ng?
”
Me:“howaboutt
omor
rowni
ghtbecauseonFr
idayI
am goi
nghome?”
Lee:“soundsl
ikeapl
an.WaitNomahaven’
tyou
recei
vedyouremail
?”sheal
soappl
iedtodoher
PhDinLaw.
Noma:“owwsor
ryguys.Ir
eceivedityest
erday.I
cel
ebrat
edwi
thbaeandItotal
lyfor
gottoinform
you.
”
Lee:“
Ididsayt
hedayshegetsi
ntoarel
ati
onshi
p
wewillbeathi
ngoft
hepast.
”Wealll
augh.
Me:“guysIam goi
ngtoEmpangeninextTuesdayto
thi
sdesignerwhowil
lbedesigni
ngmyoutfi
t.Ihave
seenherwor konI
nst
agram andImustsaysheis
good.
”
Lee:“
maybeIwil
lcomewi
thyou.Iwi
llhavet
ocl
ear
myschedul
e.”
Noma:“minanobaewehavef
oundourown
desi
gner
.”
Me:“
sasha.
”
Lee:“sif
el ani
? ”wetal
kmoreandt henwesayour
goodbyes.Leedi dherMastersandPhDwhilewe
weredoi ngourseconddegr eeswithNomasoshe
i
sal r
eadyadoct or
,bypr
ofessionandbyacademi
a.
Icontinuewi thmywor kandIam distur
bedbyati
ny
knock.Ir aisemyheadandIam shockedt oseeXol
i
standingt here.

Me:“
isi
tal
readyhal
f1?
”
Xol
i:“
yessi
si.
”Igest
urehert
ocomein,shedoes
andsit
sonthecouch.“
Youhaveabeauti
fulof
fi
ce.
”
Me:“thankyou.FuckImusthavel
ostt
rackoft
ime.
ZAH!”Icallherandsheappear
sonmydoor
secondslater.
Zah:“
bossl
ady.
”
Me:“ Zanelet
hisisNomxolisimyhomeper
sonal
assistantandNomxol i
sit
hisisZanel
emywork
personalassist
ant.Zahyoucanshowheraround
whileIfini
shupher e.
”shenods.
Zah:“
come.
”Xol
ist
andsupandt
heybot
hheadout
.

Iquickl
yf i
nishupandpackmyst uff
.It
akethem
andheadout .Ifi
ndMabut
hoandThobekasit t
ing
onchai r
sout sidemyof
fi
ce,Iam gl
adZahgave
them chairs.Ihandt
hem mystuffandgocallXoli
from Zah’soffi
ce.

Me:“Xol
iwehavetogo.ZahIwil
lseeyoutomor
row
anddoprepar
eforpr
esenti
ngtheBlueDi
amond
proj
ect
.”
Zah:“
sur
eboss.
”
Xol
iandIheadoutt ofi
ndtheguardsalr
eady
waiti
ngforus.Weallheadtothecarsanddri
veto
ToboBuzz.Wegett her
eandf i
ndexactl
ywhyit’s
cal
ledToboBuzz.Therearesomanycust omers,
al
mostallthetabl
esareful
l.Westandatthedoor
andawai t
ercomest ous.
Wait
er:“
goodafter
noon.Iam Nqal
abut
ho,
canIget
youatableoff
our?”
Me:“no,Ihaveanappoi
ntmentwi
tht
heowner
,Mi
ss
Tobo.”
Waiter
:“it
’sMr s.Tobo.Pleasef
oll
owme, Iwi
llshow
youtoherof f
ice.”Wef ol
lowhimtotheboss’
sof f
ice.
Wegett hereandf i
ndawomani nherlat
e30s.
“Bossthesepeopl ehaveanappointmentwit
hyou. ”
Tobo:“
MissCel
eofDCC?
”sher
aiseshereyebr
ow.
Me:“that’
sme.”Itur
nt otheguards.“
Youcanwai t
out
sideguys.Itwon’ttakel
ong.”Theynodanddo
asi
nst r
ucted.“
Maywesi t
?”sheshowsust heseats
sowesi tdown.“Iam sureyou’
rewonderi
ngwhyI
am here.
”
Tobo:“
yeah.
”
Me:“ Iam anar chi
tectandmycompanyi sbui
ldi
ng
anewst udioforBl ueDi amondMusi c.Theywanna
havear estauranti nsidet hebui l
ding.Theyasked
met of indsomeonewhowi l
lbewi l
li
ngtobuil
dtheir
branchi nsidet heirbui l
ding.Ofcour sethat
someonewi llber enti
ngt ot hem butal mostal
lthe
occupant soft hebui l
dingwi llbeeat ingatt
he
restaurantsoi t’
saguar ant eethatt heywon’tbe
shor tofcust omer s.Whent heycamet omeabout
this,youcamei nmi nd.Iam nott ryi
ngt ogoall
femi ni
stonyoubutIbel ievei nbl ackwomen
empower ment .Ifyoudon’ tfeellikethisisagood
oppor tunitytoyout henIwi llgiveittosomeone
else.”

Tobo:“
whereisthi
sstudi
ogoingt
obebui
lt
?”and
j
ustli
kethat
,Ihavewonher.
Me:“
inAsher
vil
le.
”
Tobo:“
thisi
sgr eatoppor
tunit
yformetoexpand.
AndseeingthatIwillbeworki
ngwithcel
ebs,Iwi
ll
getmor
eexposur
e.Sohowar
ewedoi
ngt
his?
”
Me:“tomorr
owIhaveameet ingwiththeNtuli
Brot
hers.Af
terourmeet
ingIwillgi
vethem your
numbersandyouguyswi l
lcommuni cat
edirectl
yto
eachotherwit
houtmeasthemi ddl
ewoman. ”
Tobo:“thankyoufort
hisopport
uni
tyandthankyou
forchoosingme.Somewomenoutt herewanttobe
successfulonthei
rown.Theydon’
thelpbui
ldeach
other.Weneedmor ewomenl i
keyouinthi
sworld.
Womenwhof i
xeachother
’scr
ownsnotcrush
them.”
Me:“
thankyousisi
.Iwouldl
ovetostayandhave
l
unchbutIcanseethatyou’
requi
tebusysoIwil
lbe
onmyway.”
Tobo:“
nopleasest
ay.Iwi
llhaveNqal
abut
hosetup
atabl
eforyou.
”
Me:“pl
easemakei
tat
abl
eof5.
”Shenodsand
headsout.
Xoli
:“youreal
lyknowhowt omakesomeonefeel
speci
alsisFuthy.Mrs.Toboi
sri
ght
,thewor
ldneed
morewomenl i
keyou.”
Ijustsmi l
ebecauseIdon’ tl
ikereceivingpr ai
sesfor
somet hingthatshouldbenor malized.Mr s.Tobo
comesbackt otellusthatourtableisr eady,we
foll
owherandIt ellMabuthotogogetZamokuhl e.
Hel eavesandcomesbackwi t
hhi m.Weset t
lein
ourt abl
eandor dertoday’
sspeci al.Thewai ter
bringsusdr i
nkswhi lewearewai tingforourf ood.

Me:“
soar
eyouguysi
nrel
ati
onshi
ps?
”
Mabutho:“
no,Ij
ustbr
okeupwi
thmygi
rl
fr
iend2
weeksback.”
Thobeka:“wel
lIhaveababywhosedaddyist
he
onestayi
ngwithher.Myjobi
ssodemandingthatI
l
ethim staywi
thherbutImakesur
ethatImake
ti
metogovi si
ther.
”
Zamokuhle:“
wellIam whatyoucallafuckboyori
n
mycaseaf uckman. ”weal
llaugh.“IguessI
haven’
tfoundtheonewhoi sgoingtomakeme
sett
ledownandbui l
dafamily.
”
Me:“Thobekayoushouldbringyourpr
incessatthe
housesomet i
mes.”Shenods.Ourfoodarri
vesand
westarteati
ng.Damnthisfoodissodeli
cious,
mouth-water
ing.

Aftereat
ingwegohomeandf i
ndKf ussi
ngovera
gif
tbox.Irel
easetheguar dsandtel
lthem t
oreport
fordutytomorr
owmor ni
ng.Igotomyr oom, t
ake
offmyclothesandwearmyspor t
sbr aandacotton
shortswithf
li
pflops.Iheadbackdownst ai
rs.

Me:“
soMr
.Fi
ancédeci
dedt
ospoi
lyou?
”
K:“no,act
uall
ythi
sisforyou.
”Shehandsmeit.I
opentheboxandf i
ndabeautif
uldi
amondnecklace
withmatchingear
ri
ngs.IseeanotesoIt
akeitand
readit
.
Me:“ToMaNdosi.Il
oveyou.Fr
om YourMvel
o.”I
chuckl
e.Thi
sguydoesn’
tgiveupneh?
Xol
i:“
soar
eyougoi
ngt
okeepi
t?”
Me:“
yeah.Ican’
tletbeaut
if
uldi
amondsgot
o
waste.
”Theylaugh.“AnywaysIam goi
ng
swimming.Youcanj oi
nmei fyouwant.
”Isayand
headoutthr
ought hebackdoor.

Thesunwasoutt odaysoit’
sal i
tt
lewar m.Iget
i
nsidetheswi mmingpoolanddoaf ewl aps.The
wateralwayshaveawayofcal mingdownaper son
andbr i
ngingi
nnerpeace.I
tisanotherform of
meditati
ng.Ihol
dmybr eat
handgounderwat er
.I
stayforabout30secondsbefor
eIr esurface.

Icontinueswi mmingandawhi l
elaterKandXoli
comebyt hepoolsi
dewithsnacks.IgetoutandK
handsmeat owel
.Idr
ymyselfandsi tononeofthe
poolchairs.Weeatthesnackswhi l
echatti
ng.The
windget scoldsoweheadbacki nside.It
akea
war m bubblebathwhil
esippi
ngonwhi tewineand
l
isteni
ngt ojazz.

Jazzandbubbl
ebat
hsareathi
ngforme.This
whol
eMveloshi
thasact
ual
lybeenst
ressi
ng.I
knowImayhavenotshowni tbecauseIhave
buryi
ngmyselfinworkbutMvel oisstressi
ng.Iam
afr
aidthatwhenhefinal
lyreal
izesthatIam noton
thesamepagewi t
hhi m,hemi ghtgopsychoonme.
Ihaveseenmoviesofpsychopat hsandIdon’t
wannaenduphavi ngoneaf t
erme.Ihopet hathe
soongivesuponthisquestofhi stohavemeashi s
equal.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
07:
50] :CHAPTER10
Sponsor
edbyThul
isi
leSi
manga
Thenextmor ningIam wokenupbymyst upi
dri
ng
tone,
wellit
’snotst upi
d,i
t’
sact
ual
lyJessi
eJ–Igot
youbutwheni tringswakingmeupfrom my
slumberthenit’
sst upi
d.It
akemyphoneand
answeritwithoutevenchecki
ngwhot hecall
eri
s.

Me:“
what
?”
Lee:“ohhokayyou’
restil
lsleepi
ng,thatmeansyou
haven’tseent
oday’
strendingpictur
e.”
Me:“whattr
endi
ngpi
c?”shecl
ear
shert
hroatand
exhal
esloudl
y.
Lee:“yourhi
ghschoolnudehasresurf
aced.
Someonemusthavedugdeepf oryouri
nformat
ion.
Al adywhoisMvelo’
sexistheonewhopost edit
.”I
takeadeepbr eat
h.Maybesheisgoingtosayshe
i
ski ddi
ng.Isi
tupstrai
ght
.
Me:“
whatdi
dyouj
ustsayLi
ndel
wa?
”
Lee:“exactl
ythatFuthy.Ij
ustcal
ledtofindouthow
you’
redoi ng.It
houghtmaybeyouhaveseent he
postsandcomment sonsocialmedia.”
Me:“whathaveIdonet odeser
vethi
s?Whydi d
Mvelohavetocomei ntomylif
eandt ur
nitupsi
de
down?Thisisthefi
nalstr
aw.Doyouknowhow
manycli
entsIcanloseduet othi
sstunt
?FUCK!
FUCK!FUCK!”tear
sst r
eam downmycheeksduet o
mixt
ureoftwoemot i
ons:sadnessandanger.
Lee:“
areyougoingtobeokay?Doyouneedmet o
takeadayoffandjustcomeandchi
llwi
thyou?
”I
wipemytears.
Me:“
nor el
ax.Iwi
llbef
ine.Tel
lNomat
ofi
nd
Mvel
o’snumberformeASAP. ”
Lee:“
sure.”Shedr
opsthecall
.Fewminut
esl
ater
NomasendsMvel o’snumberandIcal
lhi
m
i
mmedi atel
y.

Mvel
o:“
goodmor
ningMaNdosi
.”
Me:“ goodmor ningMvelo?Reall
y?What’
sgood
aboutt hi
smor ning?Youwentoutther
eand
declaredyourlovetomel i
keafuckinShakespear
e
fanandnowmypr i
vat
eoldpict
ureshave
resurfacedagain.Didyoustopandthi
nkaboutthe
consequencesofyouract
ionsbef
oreact
ual
lydoi
ng
whatyoudid?Didyouuseyourfucki
nbrai
n?”
Mvel
o:“
wai
twhatar
eyou…?
”
Me:“fuckyouMvel o,youhearme?Fuckyou.I
cursethedayIlaidmyeyesonyou.Leavemet he
fuckalone.Yourpresenceinmyl i
fehasbr ought
backpainfulmemor i
esandopenedol dwounds.If
youevercomenearmeagai nordoal ivevi
deo
aboutme, Iwon’tbeheldresponsibl
eofwhatIwi ll
dotoyou. ”Iendthecallandscream outloud.

Irememberal lt
heshadingIgotaf t
erthatpicture
trendedinhighschool .Herei
swhatwentdown.I
wasaver ysmar tandaf astl
ear
ner ,
whichIst il
lam.
Therewast histeacherwhowasyoung.Hewasmy
mat hteacher.HewashandsomebutIdi dn’tdate
teachersandheal sosawmeasj ustalearner.He
woul dgivemeext rawor kandsomet i
meswewoul d
staylateandhe’ dhelpmepr act
icemat h.

Hehadmanyadmi
rer
sandmanygi
rl
swer
efur
ious
thathespentsomuchofhi stimewi t
hme.Atsome
pointtheyevenspr eadrumor saboutusdat i
ng.
Theyr eport
edust otheheadmi str
essbutt here
wasn’ tanyproofsot hecasewasdi smissed.I
playedspor t
sbackt hen,netbal
ltobeexact ,
so
therewast hisonetimeatt hechangingrooms
wher eItookoffallmyclothes.Ididn’
thavet he
confidenceIhavenowaboutmybodybackt hen.

Theyt ookapi ctur

ewhi leIwasst i
llnakedandI
didn’tnot i
ce.Thenextmor ningwhenIcamet o
schoolki dswer egi vingmewei rdst ar es.Af riendof
mi neshowedmet hepi ctur
eandIf ainted.Iwokeup
i
nt hesi ckr oom andmypar entswer et here.They
tr
iedget tingtothebot t
om oft hisandt ogetherwi t
h
mymat hteachertheyf i
nallyfoundwhopost edt he
picture.Al t
houghshewassuspended, thedamage
wasal r
eadydoneandIwasal readysubj ectedt o
bodyshami ng.Ibecamesodepr essedt hatmy
par entstookmet ot herapy.Afteral otofsessi onsI
fi
nal l
yst art
edt oacceptmysel fandmybody.
Thepi cturei nci
dentmayhavehumi l
iatedmebut
thatwast hef i
rstst eptogai ni
ngt hesel fconf i
dence
thatIneeded.Af tert hatapol i
cywasi mpl ement ed
atschoolt hatwhoevert akesandpost snudesof
anotherf ellowlear nerwoul dbeexpel led
i
mmedi atel y.Mypar entswer ethereformet hrough
i
tall.Igott oseemyf at
her’saffecti
onat esi de.They
suppor t
edmeandshowedmel ovewhenIneededi t
.
Ireall
ythoughtt hepi ct
urewasat hingoft hepast
butclear l
yIwaswr ong.Whoeverpost edi twi l
lface
l
egalconsequences.It akemyphoneandt ext
Nomat ell
inghert hatIwantwhoevert hatpost ed
thepicf i
rstt obesuedf ori
nvasi onofpr ivacy.

Igetup,makemybedandgot akeashower .Af

ter
showeringandbr ushingmyt eethIheadt omy
cl
oset.Iwearmybl ackturtl
eneck, blackhighwaist
j
eans,blackandwhi t
eol dschoolvansandaknee
l
engthbl ackcoat.Icombmyhai rstr
aightandwear
myvansbuckethat .Itakemywor kst uff
,phoneand
headdownst air
s.Ifindtheguar ds,driverandmy
housemat eseati
ngbr eakfast.Iputmyst uf
fint
he
counteraf
tergr
eeti
ngthem andsi
tont hebar
stool
.
Khandsmeabl ackcupofcoff
ee.Ihavebeen
stayi
ngwithherfor5year
ssosheknowswhatt o
givemeaccordingtomymoods.

Aft
erfini
shingmycupofcof f
eeweheadt owor k.
Wef i
ndmor ejournal
ist
sthanyesterdayatthef ront
door.Justl
ikeyester
dayIignorethem andget
i
nsidemybui ldi
ng.Wegett othepri
vateelevator
andheadt omyof fi
ce.Theguardsputmyst uffon
mydeskandast heyturntowalkoutIstopt hem.

Me:“theonl
ypeopl
eyouwi llal
lowtomyof f
ice
todayaremyemployeesonly,nooutsi
der
s.”They
nodandgetout.Myoffi
cephoner i
ngsandIanswer
i
t.“Ntombi
fut
hiCel
espeakinghowmayIhel pyou?”
Mom:“
Lwandlel
ethuareyouokay?”shehasseen
t
hepi
ctur
eIguess.Somethi
nginhervoicemakes
mesoemoti
onalthatIf
indmyselfsni
ff
ing.
Me:“Iwi
llbef
inemom.Ihavedeal
twitht
hisbefore
andIcameoutstr
onger
.Don’
tworryyour
selfabout
me.
”shekeepsqui
etf
orawhi
le.
Mom:“
youknowwhat
?That
’si
t,Iam comi
ng.
”
Me:“nomom pleaseIwil
lbefi
ne.Iwi
llt
ellLel
e’
s
publ
ici
sttodealwi
ththi
sandNomai sgoingtosue
whoeverpost
edthepict
ure.
”
Mom:“okay.I
fyouneedmeIwi
llcomet
her
e
whenever
.”
Me:“
thanksmom.Igot
tago.Bye.
”Ihangupandsi
t
downonmychair
.

Ibowmyheadandt akedeepbr
eat hstr
yingt o
cont r
olmyemot ions.Thedoorfl
iesopenandwhen
IraisemyheadIseeuNdosiomkhul ustandi ngin
themi ddleofmyof fi
ce.Hedoesn’tsayanyt hing,
i
nst eadhej ustopenshi sarmsandIr usht ohug
him.Hebr ushesmybackandIj ustcrysilentl
y.
Afterawhi leIstopcr yi
ngandhel eadsmet othe
couchi nsidetheof f
ice.Webothsitandhehol ds
mecl ose.
Dad:“uwuNdosiwena.Youar estrongerthanyou
thi
nk.Youar esuccessf ulandi ndependent.Youar e
beautifulwi t
hal lyourfl
aws.Manywoul dkil
lto
haveabodyl ikeyours.Whoevert hatpublishes
negativest uffaboutyoui sjustjealous.Youar eone
ofther ichestwomenonMzansi .EvenIam j eal
ous
ofyousomet imes.”Igiggle.“
That’swhatIwant ed
tohear .Don’twor r
yaboutyourcompany.Thi s
won’tmakeyoul osecl
ients.Youdi dn’
tpublishthis
yourselfintent i
onall
y.I
fyouar eaf r
aidoflosing
them thenor gani zeapr essconferenceandsett he
recordst rai
ght .
”

Me:“t
hanksdaddy.Idon’
tknowwhatI
’
ddowi
thout
you.
”
Dad:“
you’dprobabl
ybenon- exi
stenti
fitwasn’
tfor
mypower f
ulsperm.”Ibur
stoutlaughingandhe
al
solaughsinhisdeepvoice.
Me:“
Ican’
tbel
ieveyouj
ustsai
dthat
.”
Dad:“
Ijustwant
edyout
oloosenupmypr
incess.I
l
oveyou.”
Me:“Il
oveyoutooDubandlel
a.”Hepl
ant
sasoft
ki
ssonmyf or
ehead.HestandsupandIalsost
and
up.
Dad:“
IguessIwi
llseeyout
omor
rowt
hen.
”
Me:“yeah.”Hehugsmeoncemor eandthel
eaves.
Af
teraf ewsecondsThobekapeepsi
nthedoor
.
Thobeka:“damnbossyourf at
heri sintenseand
scary.”Il
aughoutloud.Manypeopl ehavesai dthat
before.Mydadisnotscaryit’
sjustthathecar ri
es
himselfwithdi
gnit
yandhardlytalkst opeoplehe
doesn’tknow.Kahle-
kahl
eakafuniukuj wayelwa.
Me:“l
eavemydadal
onet
uh.
”Shel
aughsand
cl
osesthedoor
.
.
.
*
**NARRATED*
**
Aft
erseei
ngFuthy’
snude, Kuhl
eknewt hathehad
todosomethi
ng.Hecalledhisyoungersist
erwho
i
sahacker.Heknewt hatduetothediff
erentt
ime
zonesshemightnotanswerthecallbutl
uckil
yshe
answer
ed.

Lisa:“t
hisbet
terbei
mportantKuhl
e.It
oldyounot
tocallmeinthemorning.
”Kuhlesi
ghed.
Kuhl
e:“Iwoul
dn’
tbecal
li
ngyoui
fitwasn’
t
i
mportant.
”
Li
sa:“
what
ever
.Sowhatdoyouwant
?”
Kuhl
e:“someonepostedanudeoffr
iendofmineon
soci
almedia.Ineedyout
odelet
ethatpi
ctur
eand
tr
ydelet
ingitonever
ydevi
ce.
”
Li
sa:“
whati
sshet
oyou?
”
Kuhl
e:“
afr
iend.
”
Li
sa:“
youdon’
thavef
emal
efr
iendsKuhl
e.”
Kuhl
e:“
areyougoi
ngtodothi
sornot
?”hesai
das
hewasstar
ti
ngtogetangr
y.
Li
sa:“f
ine,f
ine.Iwi
lldoi
t.Justsendmeher
i
nfor
mat i
on.”
Kuhle:“
done.Pl
easedothi
sASAP.”Hedidn’
twait
forhert
orespond,hej
ustdr
oppedthecal
landsent
herFut
hy’
sinf
ormat
ion.
.
.
Mvel oontheothersi deoft ownf elthorri
bleforthe
att
ent i
onhebroughtFut hy.Hewi shedhehadn’ t
donewhathedi dandmaybehe’ dst i
llhadachance.
Hewi shedhehadn’ tlistenedtohi sfri
endsbecause
i
tlookedl i
keevent hedi amondsdi dn’tsoftenFut hy
butinsteadmadeherevenmad.Whatwashe
thi
nkingbuyingdi amondsf orawomanwho
probablyhasever ythi
ng?Af t
erthemor ni
ngphone
callhecouldheart hatshewasf edupandwant ed
nothingtodowi thher .Butgivingupwasn’ toneof
hisstrongestt
rait
s.Hej ustdecidedt olaylowf ora
whi l
eandwi l
lcont i
nuepur suingheraf terallt
his
hasdi eddown.
.
.
*
**BACKTOFUTHY*
**
Zahcomest
omyof
fi
cet
otel
lmet
hatt
heNt
uli
brot
her shavear ri
ved.Iam onl ygoi ngt
ot he
meet i
ngt ooversee.It akemyphoneandTobo’ s
businesscar dandputt hem inmypocket .ZahandI
bothheadt oboar droom 1andt heguar
dsf ollows
us.Wegett ot hepr i
vat eelevatoranddescendt o
the1stf l
oor.Theel evatoropensandweal lstepout
.
Whilewal ki
ngdownt hecor r
idorsomeonej umps
mel andingonmybackandwr apshi sl
egsar ound
mywai st.Igiggle.Ther eisonlyoneper soni nmy
l
ifewhoi sthischildish.

Me:“
Sibulel
emann.
”Irepr
imandhi
m andhelaughs
i
nmyear .Hecl
imbsdownandwrapshisar
ms
ar
oundmyshoulder
s.
Lele:“
Imissedyoubi gsi
s.”It
urnt
ofacehi
m and
givehim aproperhug.
Me:“
Imi
ssedyout
ool
ilbr
o.”hehugsZah.
Lel
e:“
longt
imenoseeMaZandy.
”
Zah:“
it
’sMaZetwenaman.MaZandyi
sZandi
le.
Howmanyt i
mesdoIhavetotel
lyout
his?
”
Lele:“
wellthat
’sthesameshittome.”Zahrol
lsher
eyesandget sinsi
detheboar
droom.“ Andwhois
thi
ssexymamasi ta?
”hesayslooki
ngatThobeka
whilebit
inghisli
p.
Thobeka:“cal
lmemamasi t
aonemor eti
meandI
wil
lcrushyourbal
ls.
”Shesaysinherscrat
chy
voi
ce.Lelebecomesseri
ousinst
antl
y.Il
augh
qui
etl
y.
Me:“Sibul
elethesearemybodyguar
dsThobeka
andMabut ho.Guysthisi
smylit
tl
ebrot
her
Sibul
ele.
”
Mabut ho:“ni
cetomeetyouman.”Lelenodsand
clearshisthr
oat.Icanseet
hathetookthebal
ls
threatseri
ously.
Me:“Thobekayoucant ellhi
m nowthatyouwere
j
oking.”Thobekalaughsandtell
shimthatshewas
j
oking.Hef i
nall
yloosenup.“Soareyougoingt
o
at
tendt hemeeting?Areyouevenall
owedto?”
Lele:“mysist
eri
stheownerofthi
scompanyand
theNt ul
ibr
other
saremybuddiessoIam al
lowed.
”
Irollmyeyesandgeti
nsi
detheboardr
oom andhe
f
oll
ows.Theguar
dsst
ayatt
hedoor
.

Me:“
sor
ryIam l
ateguys.
”Isayshaki
ngt
hei
rhands.
Yandisa:“
noprobl
em.Mi ssZanel
ehasal
ready
st
artedthepr
esentat
ion.
”
Me:“ okaythenconti
nueZah.
”Sheconti
nues
presentingandaft
ersheisdonet
hebrother
sgi
ve
outcompl ements.
Yandisa:“
soFuthydidyoufindarest
aur
ant
owner?”Itakeoutt
hebusinesscardf
rom my
pocketandhandittohi
m.
Me:“shewillbeexpectingyourcall
.Youshoul
dgo
checkoutherrestauranti
nDur banNort
h.Yohthe
foodther
eissodel i
ciousyouwi l
lbeli
cki
ngyour
fi
ngersal
ltheway. ”
Sakhil
e:“wewillsur
elypasstherewhenwegot
ti
me.”Weal lst
andupandt heot her
sheadoutbut
Sandil
edoesn’tgetoutinst
eadhecomesand
standsinfr
ontofme.Hescr atcheshishead.
Sandil
e:“
areyouokay?Isawthepi
ctur
e.Ij
ust
wantedtoknowhowyouhol di
ngup.
”
Me:“t
hanksf
oraski
ng.Iam okay.
”Hecl
ear
shi
s
t
hroat
.
Sandi l
e:“ehm FuthyIknowt hi
sisn’
tthebesttime
tosayt hi
sbutIr eal
lyli
keyou.Iam notgoodwi th
wor dsbutwhatIknowi sthatIli
keyouandI ’
dlikea
chancet ogettoknowyoubet ter
.Iam notrushing
you.Youcant akeyourtime.Whenyouar ereadyt o
givemeachanceyoucangi vemeacal l
.”WowI
didn’tseethiscoming.Itakeoutmyphoneandgi ve
i
tt ohim.Hedi alshisnumberandsavesi tonhis
phoneandt hengivesmebackmyphone.
Me:“
IguessIwi
llseeyouar
ound.
”
Sandile:“yeah.Bef
oreIl eavecanIgetahug?It’
s
part
iallyformeasi ti
sf oryou.WhenIam feeli
ng
downahugal wayshelpssomaybei tmight
comf ortyou.”Il
augh.Whatawayofaski ngf ora
hug.
Me:“
sur
eSandil
e.”Heopenshisarmsformeand
wehugeachot
her.Thehuglast
slongert
hani
t
should.Wefinall
ybreakitwhenwecanf eelot
her
emotionsri
sing.Webot hgetoutoftheboardr
oom
andfindeveryonewaiti
ngoutside.Goodthi
ngthe
boardroomsar esoundproof.

Lel
e:“
whatwer
eyouguyst
alki
ngabout
?”
Me:“askmesomet hi
ngthatdoesn’
tconcer
nyou
agai
nandIwi l
lal
lowThobekatocrushyourbal
ls.
”
Ever
yonelaughs.
Sakhi
le:“
sohernameisThobeka?
”heasks
wiggl
inghiseyebr
ows.
Me:“onepunchfrom herwi
llsendyoust
rai
ghtt
o
ER.
”Hisfaci
alexpressi
onchanges.
Sakhil
e:“pl
easebemybodyguar d.Iwi
llpayyou3
ti
mest hemoneyFuthyi spayingyou,j
ustforthe
vi
ews.”Hel i
ckshi
slips.Wel aughandThobeka
stepsfor
wardtowardshi m,hetakes2stepsback
andwel aughhyst
eri
cally.
Thobeka:“pussy.
”Wesayourgoodbyesandt
he
Ntul
ibrothersl
eave.It
urnt
oLel
e.
Me:“
Sowher
ear
eyouheadedt
onow?
”
Lel
e:“Iam goi
ngtol
unchwit
hthem t
henaf
tert
hatI
am goinghome.Iwi
llcomet
oyourpl
aceaf
tert
he
weekend.”
Me:“ that
’sf
air.SoIguessIwi l
lseeyout
omor r
ow
then.”Wehugandhel eaves.Zah,t
heguardsandI
got omyof f
ice.

Leeasksmei fwear estil

lgoingt oZimbaliandIt el
l
hert hatweshoul dpost ponetonextweek.She
repli
esbysayi ngsheunder stands.Iviewt he
designsoft hePMBBr i
dget hatBobl ef
tinmyof f
ice.
Theyar eprett
ygoodbutImakeaf ewnot eswher eI
canseet hatifhecont i
nueswi ththis,t
hebr i
dge
mi ghtcollapsewi t
hin5year safterithasbeenbui lt
.
Icallhi mtomyof f
iceandgi vehim mynot es.He
takest hem togetherwiththedesi gnsandheadsout .
Lindsaybr ingsmel unchper sonallywhichi s
somet hi
ngnew, hepl acesitonmydeskandsi tson
thevi sit
ors’chai
r.
Li
ndsay:“babesur ytkodwa?Iknowt hat’
sast upi
d
questi
onbutIf elttheneedt ocheckuponyou.I
wantyout oknowt hatIcar eandIam heref oryou.
AnywaysIf oundwhopost edthepicandit’
s
Shamase’sexf iancé.Li kebitchyoucheated,what
doyouwantf r
om Shamase’ snext?”Il
augh.Ineed
peopleli
kethiswhowi llmakemel augh.“Plusshe
hasdryandwhi teankl es,ImeanwehaveDawni n
SouthAfricawhi chischeapandyena
uzosphaphelawher easshecan’ tevenaffor
da
cheapbodyl oti
on.”Il aughandshakemyhead.
Me:“ shemi ghthavepost edmynudebutt hat
doesn’tgiveanyonear easont oshadeher .Iam
goingt ogetbackathert helegalwaynotby
shadingherl ikeshedi dtome.Idon’ tli
kebody
shami ngot herwomen, i
fyouhavet witt
edabouther
dryandwhi t
eankl espleasedelet
et hatpost.Iam
notar apper ,Idon’tcl
apback.”Hel ooksatmei n
disbeli
ef.“Iappr eci
ateyoursupportbutIcur rent
ly
needemot ionalsupportnow. ”
Li
ndsay:“
Ihearyouandyouaretookind.Theworl
d
needsmorewomenl i
keyou.Anywayshereisyour
l
unch,
enj
oy.
”Hel
eaves.

Ieatmyl unchandaf t
erIam doneIcont inue
wor king.At15:30Ipackmyt hingsandexitmy
off
ice.Igi vemystufftotheguar ds.Weheadhome.
Afterput t
ingmybagsi nmyst udytheyl
eave.Igoto
myr oom, takeawarm shower ,dryandl
ot i
onmy
bodyt henwearmyt hongandputmysi lkygownon
topandsl eeper
s.It
akemyphoneandmybi gt
eddy
bearandheaddownst ai
rs.Iam goingtocuddle
withi t
.

Isitandt heloungecuddlingwithmyt eddyand

wat chingMiraculousTalesofLadybugandCatNoi r
cartoons.Theyal waystakemymi ndoffthings.The
frontdooropensandmy2bestf r
iendswalki n
carryinglot
soff oodandbags.Theyputt hefoodin
thekitchen,goupst ai
rstoputtheiroverni
ghtbags
thereandcomebackwi thwineandgl asses.They
pourt hewineandwest artdr
inki
ng.
Noma:“ Mar i
nette’
scr ushonAdr i
enr emindsmeof
Lee’scrushonLel e.”Weal ll
augh.Nomai sri
ght
,
Leewasj ustlikeMar inet
te.Thefactthatmy
brother’
ssingingcar eerstar
tedwhenhewasst i
lli
n
highschooliswhatmadehi m seem likeanadul
t
whilehewasst i
llateenagerandt hatiswhat
attr
actedLeemostt oher .
Lee:“l
eavemeal
onetuh.”Shepout
sandlookt
he
otherwayandweconti
nuelaughi
ngather
.

Wecont inueteasi
ngeachot
herandr
emember
ing
abouttheolddays.Wearedi
stur
bedbyt
hebel
l
fr
om thefrontdoor.
Noma:“
giveoursurpr
iseguestashowandopen
t
hedoorwithyourgownuntied.
”
Lee:“
yeahthatwi
llt
eacht
hem nott
ocometo
someone’
shouseunannounced.
”Il
aughandshake
myhead.
Me:“
youguysar
ecr
azy.
”
Noma:“
comeon,
weknowyouwannadoi
tand
you’
regoi
ngt
odoi
t.
”
Me:“
what
ever
.”Ist
andupandunt
iemygown.
Lee:“
that
’swhatIam t
alki
ngabout
.”
Noma:“
leavet
hegownbehi
nd.
”Il
aughather
.
Me:“nowyou’reoverstepping.”Iwearmysl eeper
s
andheadtothefrontdoor .Iopent hedoorand
fr
eezewhenIseewhoi sthere.Hiseyespopout
andhisj
awsdr optot hef l
oorwhenheseesmyhal f
nakedbody.Ifi
nall
yunf reezeandt iemygown.
“OMG!Whatt hefuckar eyoudoi nghere?”

Kuhle:“
Icamet oseehowyou’redoi
ng.Iwentt o
youroffi
ceandtheytol
dmeyoul eft
.Aren’
tyou
goingtoall
owmei n?”heasksinaninnocentvoice
asifhehasn’tj
ustseenmynakednessami nut e
ago.“Youhaveanicebodybyt heway.”Ir
ollmy
eyesandstepasidesothathecangetin.Iclose
thedoorandleadhimtothelounge.

Me:“
guyst
hisi
stheuni
nvi
tedguestanduni
nvi
ted
guestt
hesear
ethei
nvi
tedguest
s.”Theyal
llaugh.
Noma:“ar
eyout
ell
ingmet
hatyoushowedhi
m
t
he…?”
Lee:“
wow.
”Theyl
aughoutl
oud.
Me:“youcansi twhi l
eIgetyousomet hingtodr i
nk.”
Henodsandsi t
sdown.Igot othekit
chenandt ake
outabot t
leofflyingfish,Iopenitandal sotakea
fewsnackst hatmyf r
iendsbrought.Igobackt othe
l
oungeandf i
ndt heset hr
eelaughinglikeold
buddies.IhandKuhl et hedumpy.“ Wellyour
majestyIdon’thaveCast l
eLitebutIthinkthiswil
l
do.”Hesmi l
esandt akeit.

Kuhle:“
thankyou.”Isitbacktomyori
ginalpl
ace.
“SoIcall
edmysi sterandaskedhertoremoveyour
pict
urefrom mostofthedevicesandfr
om thenet
.
Shedidit.”Nomatakesoutherphoneandchecksif
whathei ssayi
ngist r
ue.
Noma:“OMGheisright.Ther
eisnot
raceofyour
pi
ctur
eanywher
e.”IlookatKuhl
e.
Me:“t
hankyouf
ordoi
ngt
his.Butwhat
’st
he
cat
ch?”
Kuhl
e:“
ther
eisnocat
ch.
”
Me:“
comeon.Youcandobet
tert
hant
hat
.”

Kuhle:“Ihadaf emal efriendinhi ghschool.She

wasver ybeaut i
fulandki ndandf ri
endlybutshe
wasal sogul li
ble.Shedat edtheschool ’
splayboy
andhebr okehervi r
ginity.Hemadeasext apeof
herfi
r stnight.Hesenti ttohisfriendsandhi s
fri
endst ot hei
rgi r
lfr
iends.Soonaf tert
hewhol e
schoolhadseeni t.Shecoul dn’ttakethecrit
icsvery
wellsoshedr ownedher self
.Ididn’twantthesame
thi
ngt ohappent oyou.Nowomanshoul dhaveher
nakednessdi splayedt ot hewholewor ldwithouther
consent .That’sviolati
onofpr i
vacyonanot her
l
evel.”Leesni ffsandwel ookather .

Lee:“
Ihadateenagecli
entj
ustl
ikeher2year
sago.
Thesamet hi
nghappenedtoher
.Shetri
ed
committ
ingsuici
demanytimesbutIguessGod
wasn’treadytohaveher.Peopl ecanbesocr uelout
ther
e.Theydon’ tunder
standhowpai nt
heyinfl
ict
onani ndivi
dualwhenshar i
ngt hei
rnakednessto
thewor l
d,especial
lywhenthepi ct
ures/
videoare
sharedbysomeoneyout rusted.”

Me:“
thankyouKuhl
e.Nomat
her
ewon’
tbeaneed
t
osuethatwoman.”
Noma:“
but
…”
Me:“noNoma.Iwil
ldoali
vevideotomorrow
addr
essi
ngthisi
ssueandiwi
llstaythef
uckaway
fr
om Mvel
o.”

Kuhl
estaysforal
it
tl
ewhileandthenl
eaves.We
cont
inuewit
hourl
adies’
nighti
n.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
07:
51] :CHAPTER11

Currentl
yIam par ki
ngout si
demychi ldhoodhome
i
nMor ningsi
de.Iam dreadinggoinginsidebecause
Ihavet obeinonepl acewi t
hmysi st
er s.Earli
eronI
didthelivevideoandittrended.Someoneupl oaded
i
tonYouTubeandanot herposteditonLadi es
House.Ther esponseIgotf rom womenal loverthe
countrywasver ywar m andcomf or
ti
ngandIwas
happyt odiscoverthatIam arolemodelt omany
gir
lsandevenyoungwomenoutt here.

Thi
sishowt
hel
ivevi
deowent
:

Me:“morni
ngguys.Iam Nt
ombif
uthiCel
eandIam
achubbyandthi
ckwoman.Ihavebeenchubby
si
ncebi r
th.Ihaveneverbeensl im.Mypar entsand
brot
hersshowedmel oveandsuppor tasmyf amily.
Iam proudofwhoIam andIl ovemybody.Thi sis
notthefir
stt i
meanudeofmi nehastrendedandI
havereceivedi nsul
tsandshami ng.WhenIwasst i
ll
i
nhighschoolt hisver
ysamenudet r
ended.Byt hat
ti
meIwasn’ tthisconf
identaboutmybody. ”

“Ihidmysel ff r
om thewor ldbecauseIwas
ashamedofmybodybackt henandIwas
humi li
ated.I ttookalotoft herapyformet oaccept
whoIam.I fIwasweakIwoul d’
vecommi t
ted
suicideort ur nedtodrugst onumbt hepain.When
youpostsomeoneel se’spr i
vatephotosyoudon’ t
onlyhumi l
iatet hem butyoudegr adethem andyour
actionsmayr esulti
nthevi cti
m self
-harming
themsel ves.Ij ustwantt oopenyourmi ndsguyst o
thi
s.Thevi ct imsar ealsosomeone’ skid.Ifwhat
youdocanbedonet oyourchi l
d,wouldyoul i
ke
that?Stophumi li
ati
ngot herpeoplebyshar ingthei
r
privatephot osandsext apes.Fir
stl
yyoumayf ace
l
egalact ion.Secondl yt hatpersonmaycommi t
sui
cide.Wouldtaki
ngsomeone’sli
femakeyoufeel
bett
er?Becauseift
hevict
im wouldki
llt
hemsel
ves
becauseofyouracti
onsthenthatwouldmeanyou
ki
ll
edthem.”

“Pleasestopthatandstopbodyshamingwomen.
From petit
ewoment ochubbywomen,al
lsi
zes,al
l
races.Stopthat.I
t’
snotgood.Il
oveyouall
,fr
om
Futhy.”Iendeditl
ikethat
.

AnywaysIopent hegat ewi t

hmyr emoteanddr ive
i
nside.It
akemyover nightbagandheadi nsidethe
houseafterl
ocki ngthecar .Iopenthefr
ontdoor
andgetin.Ifi
rstgoputmybagi nmyroom whi chis
downstai
rsandheadt othereIassumeever yoneis
whichisinthelivingroom.Igr eetever
yoneandhug
them.Hugswi thmysi ster
sar eawkwardasal ways.
IsitdownnexttoGci nokuhl e.

Gci
nokuhle:“
youar
ebecomingacel
ebli
keLele.
Youareevenamotivat
iont
omostpeopl
e.Youhave
somanypeopl
elookinguptoyou.Iam aproudbi
g
br
other
.”Weal
llaughathi
slastst
atement.

Dad:“
IdidsayIhavepower
fulsper
ms.Al
thoughI
don’
tknowwantwentwrongwi t
hyou.
”Wecontinue
l
aughing.

Mom:“ Ithinkmyeggsar etheonemor epowerful

.”
Sheboast sandf at
herl aughsatherwi
thhisdeep
voiceandper ksherlips.Theyhavebeenmar r
ied
forover30year sbutt heyarest
il
lheadoverheels
i
nl ovewitheachot her,somethi
ngIwantwhenI
fi
nallysett
ledown.

Busi
:“whenar
eyougoi
ngt
ogetmar
ri
ed?
”sheasks
l
ooki
ngatme.
Me:“areyousuf
fer
ingf
rom asi
cknessor
something?
”
Busi
:“whatdoyoumean?
”
Me:“
Ijustwantt
oknowwher
eithur
tsi
nyourbody
becauseofmyr
elat
ionshi
pst
atus.
”
Nothando:“It
hinkyoushoul
d’vegiventhesoccer
playerachance.Theguybasi
call
ydecl ar
edhislove
foryouinpubli
c.Heistheonl
yonewhol ovesyou
enoughtodot hat.Wher
edoyout hinkyouwillf
ind
anotheroneli
kehi m?
”

Busi:
“Thandoi
sright
.Shamaseseemedser i
ous
aboutyouandyouplayedwi
thyourchances.
”
Mom:“Thandowhatdoesyoursi
ster
’sl
ovel
if
ehas
todowit
hyou?”shel
ooksdown.“Howoldis
Lwandl
elet
hu?”
Not
hando:“
29”
Mom:“
andyou?
”
Not
hando:“
21”

Mom:“nowwiththathugeagediffer
ence,what
makesyouthi
nkyoucant alktoheraboutherl
ove
l
if
ewhenyoudon’ tevenknowhowherl if
eisli
ke?
Bothofyout
reatyoursist
erli
keastrangerbut
you’requickt
ohaveopi nionsaboutherrel
ati
onship
status.WenaBusingobayou’ reol
der,howwoul d
youf eeli
fLwandlel
ethuandNot handower ecl
ose
andt reat
edyouthewayyout r
eather?”sil
ence
spreadsoutthewholer oom.

Dad:“wearenothereforthatbecauseifwewereto
star
ttal
kingaboutyoursi
sterhoodwewon’ tt
alk
aboutwhatthi
smeet i
ngisabout .Ir
eall
ydon’
tknow
whyyout wothinkyou’
rebettert
hanyoursist
er.
OnlyGodknows. ”Mom exhalesoutloud.

Mom:“ t
hewayyou’resodisrespect
fulNot hando,I
wouldn’
tevenbot
herdoingumemul of oryoui fI
wasyouronlysur
vivingparent
.”Mom neverst ops
onceshestart
sbutitwon’tmakeanydi fference
becauseherki
dswillcont
inuebeingbitchyt owards
me.

Dad:“
cal
m downst
handwasami.”Hesays
car
essi
ngmom’scheekandshesighs.Onl
yhehas
thepowert ocontrolherbutt
ons.“Anywayswear e
heretodiscussumemul okaNothando.Sinceyou
thr
eear eworking,
”hesayspoi nt
ingatBusi,Lel
e
andI,“whatwillyoubecont r
ibut
ingbecausethe
cow,groceryandt hecateri
ngwillbecomingfrom
meandumkami ?”

Me:“
Iwi
llbuyt
hebooze,hir
ethetentswhi
chwill
i
ncl
udet
hechair
sandtables,mobil
etoi
let
s,2col
d
r
oomsanddécor.
”
Lel
e:“
Iwil
lbuyt
hegoat
sneededf
ort
hewhol
e
cer
emony,howmanyvel
e?”
Dad:“
thr
ee.
”
Lele:“
yesthreegoats,Iwil
lalsohi
ret
heprogram
dir
ectorforthesecondsessionaswellasal
lthe
entert
ainmentforthatdayandalsoor
ganizea
photographer.
”
Nothando:“
wil
lyoual
sobr
ingKeel
a?”Keel
ais
Sakhil
e’
sstagename.
Lel
e:“
anyt
hingf
oryoupr
incess.
”Shesmi
les.
Busi:“Iwillhir
ei mvunulofort
heladi
eswhowil
lbe
dancingwi thyou.Iwi l
lalsobuyyouaweaveand
thewhol eout f
itforsecondsessi
on.Iwi
llal
sodo
yourmakeup. ”shehugshersi st
erandIam
temptedt or ol
lmyeyesbutuNdosiomkhul uwould
l
iter
all
ypl uckt hem out.

Gci
no:“
andIwil
lbeguardi
ngthecol
droomswi
th
myli
fe.
”Wealll
aughathim.
Dad:“
youcoul
dn’
tkeepqui
etneh?
”
Gcino:“Iwast emptedt
obutmyi nnervoicewasl i
ke
‘
nahman, that
’snotwhoyouare’andIlistened.
”We
conti
nuel aughinganddadshakeshisheadwhi le
chuckli
ng.
Nothando:“
soobabomncanewon’
tcont
ri
but
e
anythi
ng?”

Me:“asyoucanseeThandoallthecostshavebeen
cover
ed.Ift
heywannacontr
ibut
et heywil
ljust
comenesphekojustf
orcont
rolbutothert
hant hat
wedon’tneedotherpeopl
e’
scontr
ibut
ionsj
ustt
hei
r
pr
esencenjebezokunikai
mali
.”

Dad:“
shei
sri
ghtThando.
”Thandonodsandl
ooks
down.
Me:“
sowillt
her
ebeumkhwenyanawhom wemust
pr
eparef
oronyourday?
”
Dad:“
hhayumkhwenyanawani
?”
Me:“dadgi
rl
susual
lyshowthei
rboyfr
iendst
othei
r
f
amili
esonthi
spart
icul
arevent
,youknowthat
moss.”
Dad:“
hhay-
hhay”heshakeshi
sheadr
epeat
edl
y.
Gcino:“daddydoesn’
twannaseehi sli
tt
lepr
incess
growwi ngs.”Hesaysthatsi
tti
ngatt heedgeofthe
couchbecauseheknowst hatther
ei sahuge
possibil
it
ythatdadmightattackhi
m.Dadat tempts
tostandupandGci norunsoutoft heroom l
eaving
usalllaughi
nghard.
Dad:“
ngi
zokut
hol
awenaGci
nokuhl
e.”
Thehousekeepercallsust othedi ni
nghal lbecause
dinnerisready.Weallheadt hereandGci noal so
comes.Weeatwhi l
etalki
ngmor eaboutumemul o.
ThandoandBusiseem al it
tl
eni cebutIknowhow
theycanbesoIdon’ tnoticethem.Wef ini
sheat ing
andt henwecat chup.Aft
ert hatIheadt omyr oom,
takeashower ,wearmyni ghtdr essandgetunder
coverswi t
hmyphonei nmyhand.Myphoner ings,I
checkt hecall
erandIcanseet hatit
’sSandile.I
answerandkeepqui et.

Sandil
e:“
IknowthatIsai
dIwil
lwai
tforyourcal
l
butIcoul
dn’
t.Howareyou?”
Me:“
Iam good,
howar
eyou?
”
Sandi
le:“
Iam okay.Howwasyourday?
”
Me:“j
ustanormalday.
”Youcant
ellbythesound
ofhi
svoicet
hatheissomehownervous.
Sandi
le:“
canItakeyououtonadateanydaynext
week?”Ikeepqui
etforawhil
ethenIdeci
det
o
answer.
Me:“
Wednesdayni
ghtIam f
ree.
”
Sandi
le:“
coolt
hen,
that
’sawesome.
”
Me:“
aren’
tyousupposedt
obei
nJHB?
”
Sandi
le:“
no.Iwil
lseeyout
hen.AndIlovet
he
soundofyourvoi
ce,i
t’
ssoot
hing.
”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“
fl
att
erywon’
tgetyouanywher
e.”
Sandi
le:“
youst
il
loweme.
”
Me:“
what
?”
Sandil
e:“
singing.Youpromisedmeandmy
brot
hersthatyouwi l
lsi
ngforus.
”
Me:“
ohhokay.
”
Sandi
le:“
sowhenareyougoingtosi
ngforme?”I
cl
earmyt hr
oatandst
artsi
ngi
ng.Idon’
tli
keowi
ng
peopl
e.
Me:“inhl
izi
yo, i
yophuka,Iwonderubuzophelel
aphi,
ubuzi
phelelaphiukubeusaphila,Iwonder
ubuzophelelaphi
,besizophel
elaphiukubeusaphi
la.
”
Sandi
le:“wow,wow,wow.Iam i
mpressed.Wehave
todoatleastonet
rackpl
ease.
”Igi
ggle.
Me:“
ifsi
ngi
ngwasmypassi
onIwoul
dbeanawar
d
wi
nnerbynow.
”
Sandi
le:“
pret
typl
ease.
”
Me:“
beggi
ngdoesn’
tsuityou.Goodni
ghtSandy.
”I
dr
opthecal
landdri
ftt
osleep.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
07:
51] :CHAPTER12

Dadwokeusupintheear
lyhoursofthemorning.
Heli
kesdoi
ngthi
severyt
imewear ehome.When
hewakesusupat5:30am weallknowthatweare
goi
ngcampingandwewillspendourdayandnight
i
nthewoods.Aft
ert
hatwewi l
lpassbyour
gr
andpar
ents’
house(f
rom dad’
sside)t
omorr
ow
j
ustt
ohavelunchwit
hthem andcomebackhome.

Campi nghasal waysbeenourf amilyhobby.We

don’thavet i
met olikeordisl
ikeitbecausewehave
beendoi ngitsincewewer el
itt
le.Whenwewer e
olderweaskeddadwhycampi ngt houghandhe
toldusthatinhi sfamil
yeveryhousehol dhastheir
ownf ami l
yhobby.Somepr eferroadt ri
ps,some
preferfi
shing,somepr efergoingtof esti
valssohe
chosecampi ngforus.

Whenwegett othecampingsitethemenusual l
ygo
fishingforlunchanddinnersothatwecaneat .Dad
taughtushowt ohuntandf i
shformeal s.Sowe
ar r
ivethereandsetup.Wehaveagr eatfamil
yday.
Ofcour seThandoandBusiar efaki
ngt heir
happi nessbecauseofmebutIdon’ tcare.Weeat
fishandr oll
sfordi
nnerandt hensleepi nour
campi ngtents.Gci
noandLel eshareat entwi
thme
becauseIbroughtamuchbi
ggeroneandbecause
theyl
ovecrowdingmyspace.

Lel
e:“
soam Ial
lowedt
obr
eakShamase’
sbones?
”I
l
aughathi
m.
Me:“heisoldert
hanyousoIam sur
ehewi
llbet
he
onedoingthecrushi
ngoft
hebones.
”
Gci
no:“
ifhewant
syout
henhewon’
tfi
ghtback.
”
Lel
e:“
yesbr
o.”t
heyf
istbumpandIl
aughatt
hem.
Me:“
uNdosiomkhul
uwi
llski
nyoual
ive.
”
Lele:“yoht hatguyshame.RememberwhenIgot
arrestedforassaulti
ngSi sana’
smanager ?”weall
l
aughbecausedadbai ledhim outonlytobeathim
i
ntoapul pandhewokeupi nhospit
al.Dadisaver y
peacef ulpersonbutonceyougeti nvolvedint
oa
vi
ol entsit
uat i
onorafighthewi l
lbeatyouupunt i
l
youpr omi sethatyouwi l
lneverl
etanotherperson
provokeyou.

Gci
no:“
Irememberhowhebeatmeupf
ort
ryi
ngt
o
br
eakupafightandgettingpunchedinthepr
ocess
whichl
eadmet oslappi
ngt heonewhopunchedme.
Dadhasnochil
lthough.”Wel aughagai
n.
Me:“youguysdon’
tunderst
andthathehates
vi
olenceandhedoesn’
tbeli
evet
hatfight
ingcan
sol
veapr obl
em.
”
Lel
e:“
somet
imeshegoesover
boar
d.”
Gci
no:“
exact
ly.
”
Me:“butyougot
taadmi
tthathei
sthebestdad
ever
.”
Gci
no:“
truet
hat
.”
Lel
e:“
goodni
ghtguys.
”Weal
lgot
osl
eep.
.
.
Wewakeupt hef ol
lowingdayandwebat husing
thewat erinthelake.Afterthatwedri
vetoWimpy
forrealbreakfast.Wegett hereandsomeladi
esgo
crazywhent heyseeLel e,someaskforpi
ctur
es
andhegr ant
st hem that.Thewholefamil
yfi
nda
tablethatisbigenoughf oral
lofusandwesitther
e.
Thewaitr
esscomest otakeordersandIor derfor
Lel
ewhi l
eheisenter
tai
ninghisfancl ub.Lel
e
comestositnextt
omeandt hewai tr
essbr i
ngsus
cof
feeandteaformom andherf irstborn,butt
he
wait
ressdoesn’
tseeLelebecausehehashi shead
onmyshoul der
.

Dad:“
Ijusthopeyourf
ancl
ubwon’
tbedi
stur
bing
uswhil
eeating.
”
Lele:“
theywon’tdad.
”Thewaitr
essbri
ngs
breakfastandshealmostt
ri
pswhensheseesLele.
Gcinost andsupandassi
stsherbef
oreshef
all
s.
Gcino:“
letmehelpyouwit
hthat.
”hetakesthetr
ay
fr
om herandserveus.Thewait
ressf
inall
ycomes
backtohersensesandconti
nuesdoi
ngherj ob.
Dad:“seewhatIwastal
kingabout.
”Weal ll
augh.
Wefinisheat
inganddaddydearestset
tl
esthebil
l.

WeexitWimpyandwedri
vetoNdwedwewherethe
pensi
oner
sli
ve.Wegett
hereandasusualt
hey
havevisi
tors.Wegetinsi
deandgr an-granscreams
whensheseeshergr andchi
ldren.Wehugher ,
grandpaandshakehandswi ththeirvisi
tor
s.The
vi
sitor
sleaveandthehousekeeperser vesusdr i
nks.

Gran:“
Ihopeyouar
est ayi
ngf
ortheni
ghtbecause
i
thasbeensolongsinceyousl
epther
e.”
Dad:“
whatdoyousayhoney?
”sheaskslooki
ngat
mom.Shemeltswhendadcall
sherhoney.
Mom:“ wedon’
thaveanypl
anssowewi l
lsl
eep
here.
”dadmaybestri
ctandtoughbutIl
ovet
hathe
becomesateddy.
Gr
andpa:“
sot
owhatdoweowet
hisvi
sit
?”
Dad:“wear emakingumemuloforThandomont
h
end.Wedon’ tneedmuchfr
om youbutyour
presence.Andalsopl
easei
nvit
eyourkids.
”
Grandmal aughs.
Gran:“
those‘
ki
ds’
asyour
efert
othem ar
eyour
si
bli
ng.”
Dad:“
so?
”heshr
ugs.Dadcanbesavage
somet
imes.
Gr
andpa:“
youhaveever
ythi
ngcover
ed?
”
Dad:“
yes.Myki
dswil
lhel
pmeouti
nmaki
ngt
his
cer
emonyasuccess.
”
Gran:“sohaveyoucontact
edmakot
i’
sfami
ly?”
mom isnotonspeakingter
mswithherf
amily.We
real
lydon’
tknowwhatwentdownandmom doesn’t
l
iketal
kingabouti
t.
Dad:“
nowehaven’
t.
”
Gran:“sowherewil
lThandofet
chthespearfr
om
becauseaccordi
ngtotradi
ti
onshemustfetchit
fr
om herunclesfr
om hermother
’ssi
de?”
Mom:“
wewi
llseewhatwecandoma.
”
Gran:“don’
ttakeshor
tcutsorel
set
hiscer
emony
won’tbeasuccess.”Mom nodsandthemood
becomessouri nthel
ivi
ngroom.
.
.
.
*
**NARRATED*
**
Li
ndelwawassi t
tingi
nherhouseatKwaMashu.
Shemaybeadoct orandal lbutsheisf rom the
ghett
oandshel ovesitthere.Anywaysshest ood
upandwentt othekit
chent omakeasandwi ch.
Whilemaki ngitNomabar gedinandshout edher
name.Sheshout edbackst ati
ngthatshei satt he
ki
tchen.Nomacamet otheki t
chen,theyexchanged
greet
ingsandshesatont hebarstool.Leemadea
sandwichf orhertoosincesheknewt hatshewi l
l
complain.Whenshewasdoneshehandedi ttoher,
pouredjuiceforthem andsatdownopposi teNoma.

Lee:“
sowhat
’sup?
”
Noma:“
IsawAt
henkosi
.”Leef
roze.
Lee:“
whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?”
Noma:“hewaswit
hawomanandaki d.Isuspect
t
hatshewashiswifebecausetheywerewearing
r
ingsandtheywer
eactingalll
oveydovey.”
Lee:“
doyout
hinkt
hathewi
llcomeaf
terme?
”
Noma:“
Ithi
nkhehasmovedon,
wel
lIhopeso.
”
Lee:“
whatwil
lIdoifhecomesaft
erme?GoshI
can’
tli
vel
iket
his.Whycan’
tIhavepeacenj
e?”
Noma:“hei
smar r
iedandhehasn’tdoneanyt
hing
yetsoi
t’
ssafet
osayalliswel
lfornow.”
Lee:“
yeahf
ornow.
”
Noma:“anywaysbaei nvi
tedustohiswork.They
wil
lbeintr
oducingnewdishessohewaswonder i
ng
i
fwecoul dcomeandsuppor thi
m.Becausei fhe
i
nvit
esaper sonandtheyshowup, hewil
lgetR100
percustomer.
”
Lee:“
wheni
sthi
spr
omot
iont
hinghappeni
ng?
”
Noma:“
Tuesdayni
ght
.”
Lee:“
Iwi
llt
ellFut
hyandZahandmaybeLi
ndsay.
”
Noma:“t
hatguycanbedr
amat
icsomet
imes.
”They
bot
hlaughed.
Lee:“
whenar
ewegoi
ngt
oZi
mbal
i?
”
Noma:“
Ithi
nkwecangoonWednesdaymi dday
j
ustf
orcont
rol
.Youst
il
lcover
ingt
hecost
s? ”
Lee:“Idon’
tgobacktomywordtasenaweuyazi
nje.
”Nomagi ggl
edandtookasi
ponherjui
ce.
.
.
.
*
**BACKTOFUTHY*
**
It
’sSundayeveni
ngandLeleandIaredri
vingt
omy
house.Wegetthereandfi
ndMabutho,Zamokuhl
e,
ThobekaandNomxol i
sipl
ayi
ngboardgamesinthe
l
ounge.

Me:“heyguys.”Theyal
lgreetback.It
akemybag
upst
airsandheadbackdownst ai
rsaft
erchangi
ng
tosl
eepers.Isi
tonthevacantcouch.
Xol
i:“
canImakeyouguyssomet
hingt
odr
ink?
”
Me:“
cof
feewi
lldof
orme.
”
Lel
e:“
I’
dli
keteabeaut
if
ul.
”Xol
igi
ggl
esandheads
tot
hekit
chen.
Me:“
howar
eyouguysset
tl
ingi
n?”Iaskl
ooki
ngat
t
heguar
ds.
Thobeka:“
Ilovemybedsomuchandt
her
oom i
s
sobeauti
ful
.”
Lel
e:“don’
tyouwantt
oshar
eitwi
thme?Ipr
omi
seI
won’tbi
te.
”
Me:“Si
bul
elest
opprovoki
ngherorIwi
lll
ether
smashyouint
opieces.
”
Lel
e:“
Iam j
ustki
ddi
ngsisi
hawu.”Xol
icomesback
wit
hourdr
inksandsheser
vesus.
Me:“
howf
arar
eyouwi
tht
her
esear
ch?
”
Xol
i:“
alldone.Icanpr
esenti
ttoyour
ightnow.
”
Me:“l
et’
sgot oyouroff
ice.
”Webothstandupand
headtothepoolhouse.Wegetinsi
deandshetur
ns
ontheli
ghts.Webothsitdownandsheopensher
l
aptop.It
akeasiponmycof f
ee.

Xol
i:“
Ifoundavacantbui l
dingi nJohannesburg
CBD.Ithasbeenfreeforal ongt i
me.Therewas
somepipingprobl
em sot heydi dn’
tfi
xthat
,they
j
uststoppeddoingbusinesst here.I
fyouwer et
o
ut i
li
zei tyou’ dhavet ostartaf r
eshwi t
hever yt
hing.
Ithas5f loors.Thent hereisabui ldingforsalein
Nor thCl iff.Theowneri smovi ngherof ficesto
Nor thgat esoshei sselli
ngt hisbuilding.Ithas7
floorsand3el evators.Itisbeaut i
fulandi singood
condi tion.Thent hereisonei nFour ways.Thatone
i
sast ateoft hear tbuil
ding.Itwasbui l
tand
desi gnedbyf amousar chitectLungakhoMbhel e.I
t
hasauni quest ructureandal sohasbasement
par kingl ot.Ithasabout10f loors.Itisthemost
expensi veonebet weent he3andi tisalsoi ngood
condi tionandi si nasaf eenvi ronment .
”

Me:“ theonei nJHBCBDwi llcostalotf or

renovationsandf ortheplumbingandt heremustbe
anotherr easonwhynobodyhasshowni nter
esti
n
buyingi t
.Iwilll
ookattheonei nNor thCl if
fandthe
onei nFour waysinmor edetail
.Butt heonei n
Four wayswi l
lhaveunnecessar yspacenj ebecause
Iwillonlyutil
ize7floor
s.Whatwi llIdowi t
hthe
other3?ButIwi l
lhavetosleeponi t.Sowhatdi d
youf indinCapeTown? ”
Xoli:“Ifoundonei nCl aremont ,i
t’
singood
conditionandi nasaf eenvir
onment .Ithas4f l
oors
anddoesn’ thaveanel evator,Idon’tknowwhy.The
secondonei sonSt eenberg.Itisalsoi nasafe
environment .It
’sjustthatther oofcol l
apsed2year s
agosoi thasn’tbeeni nusef orthatlong.Idon’t
evenknowhowmanyf l
oorsithasandIknow
nothingaboutbusi nessbutIwoul dn’tadviceyouon
buyingi t.Thelastonei sinCl i
fton.Itwasbui l
tby
Lethukut hulaHlongwa.I thas8f l
oor sand2
el
evat ors.Ithasahel ipadont her oof.Ili
keit.
”
Lethukut hulaHlongwai smypr eviousboss.Hei sa
greatar chit
ect.

Me:“I
’dtaket
heoneinCli
ft
on.Pleasedosetupan
appoi
ntmentwit
htheownersothatwecanhear
howmuchhei ssel
li
ngitf
or.”
Xol
i:“
wil
ldo.
”Ist
andupwi
thmycof
fee.
Me:“
seeyoui
nsi
de.
”Iexi
tthepoolhouse.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
07:
52] :CHAPTER13

It
’sMondaymiddayandLeejustbar
gesintomy
offi
cewit
haNandostakeaway.Sheplacesthe
paperbagonmydeskandt akesaseatopposi
teme.

Me:“i
fyouhadn’
tbr
oughtt
hefoodIwoul
d’vel
ong
ki
ckedyououtwenaMaNkosi
.”Shel
aughs.
Lee:“
howar
eyout
ase?
”
Me:“owwwon’
tyoulookatt
hat
?Shehasmanners,
sheknowshowtogr
eet.
”Shecont
inuesl
aughi
ng.
Lee:“
stopbei
ngdr
amat
ic.YouandNomaal
ways
dot
hist
ome.
”Ir
ollmyeyes.
Me:“
what
ever
.Sowhatdoyouwant
?”
Lee:“
NomasawAt henkosit
hisweekend.”Ist
op
whatIam doi
ngandgivehermyundivided
att
enti
on.
Me:“
whatar
eyousayi
ngt
ome?
”
Lee:“butwehavenot
hingt
owor r
yaboutbecause
hewaswi thhi
swifeandki
d.”Shechuckl
es
nervousl
y.
Me:“not
hingtowor r
yabout?Reall
yLindelwa?That
guywaspr act
ical
lychasedoutofDurbanbecause
ofhi
sobsessionforyou.Whathasbr oughthi
m
backher
e?Wi feornowi f
eIdon’tt
rusthim.Whatif
hehasanaceupi nhi ssl
eeve?”
Lee:“
let
’snotover
reactt
ase.Ifhecomesaft
erme
thenIwil
lmoveinwithyouforaf ewweeksunt
ilhe
crawl
sbacktowhicheverholehecamef r
om.”
Me:“Idon’
tknowt ase.Ihaveabadf eel
ingabout
t
his.
”Sheexhales.“Arewest i
llgoi
ngtoEmpangeni
t
omor r
ow?”
Lee:“
yeah.Ireschedul
edal
lmyappoi
ntment
sso
wearefreetogo.”
Me:“okay.Zamokuhlewil
lbedri
vingus.Iam sur
e
wewillmakeitbackearl
ybecauseit’
sahalfan
hourdri
vefrom Dur
bantoEmpangeni .
”
Lee:“anywayswear egoingtoKhanya’
swor k
tomorrownight.Therei
sapr omotiont
here.I
f1
customercomesbecauseofhi m,hewil
lgetR100.
3cust omersR300.Andwear eal
sogoingto
Zimbal ii
nWednesdaymi dday,wearegoi
ngto
spendt henightt
here.
”
Me:“Ihaveadat
eonWednesdayni
ghtbutIguessI
wi
llmoveittot
omor
row.
”
Lee:“
dat
ewi
thwho?
”
Me:“
Sandi
le.
”
Lee:“
gir
lwhot
hef
ucki
sSandi
le?
”
Me:“
Sandi
leNt
ulit
hepr
oducer
.”
Lee:“
what
’swi
thyouandcel
ebr
it
iest
hesedays?
”
Me:“Iguesstheyl
iket
hebi
ggi
rl
’spussy.
”She
l
aughsoutloud.
Lee:“
it
’syourf
aul
tthatIwil
lbet
her
eal
onesoyou
wil
lsetupadatef
orme. ”
Me:“
Lel
eorKeela,ei
therwaytheywillbeboth
comi
ngbecauseIam goingt
oaskt hem nicel
y.”
Lee:“i
sthi
syourwayoft ort
uri
ngme?”Ilaughather
.
“LaughFuthy,
laugh.Kuyezanakuwe.
”Ilaughout
l
oudandshest andsupandheadsout .
Me:“
thanksf
ort
hel
unch!
”
Lee:“
FOKOFO!
”Ibur
stoutl
aughi
ng.
ItextSandil
eaboutt
hechangeofpl ansandask
hi
mt obri
nghisbrot
hers.Ial
sotextmyownbr other
aboutthisandheissuperexcit
edtoeatoutwith
me.Hecanbechi ldi
shsomet i
mes.
.
.
Thenextmorningarri
vesandwear eal
lsi
tti
ngat
thel
oungewai t
ingforLee.Gcinohasal r
eadyarri
ve
andbothhim andLelearebehavingl i
kecrècheki
ds
andcausingchaos.Leleisbusyt easi
ngThobeka
eventhoughshekeepst hreat
eninghim.Gcinois
busyt errorizi
ngMabut howi t
h21quest ionsand
Xolijustkeepsonl aughi
ngbecausesheknowshow
mybr otherscanbe.Leef i
nal
lyarr
ivesandweal l
getout .Zamokuhl eisdrivi
ngmewi t
hThobekaand
Lee.Mabut hoi swithGcinoandLele.Wegeti nside
thecar sandof fwegot oEmpangeni .Wear r
ive
thereaf teranhourand45mi nutesbecausewehad
tobuysomer efreshments.Wegett hereandwe
fi
ndherwi t
hherador abl
enoi sygr
anddaught er
.The
guardsst andoutsideandwegeti nsidet hel
ounge.

Simamiso:“
howareyouguys?
”sheasksshaki
ng
handswithever
yone.
Gci
no:“wear
enotcompl
aini
ng.Li
feisgood.
”Weal
l
l
augh.Sheof
fer
susseat
sandwesi tdown.
Si
mami
so:“
howwast
hedr
ive?
”
Me:“
shor
tert
hanexpect
ed.
”
Si
mami
so:“
IthoughtIwasonl
ymeet
ingyou.
”
Me:“af
terspeaki
ngaboutyourgr
eat
ness,
thechoi
r
coul
dn’
twaittoseeyouandseesomeofyour
wor
k.”Shegi
ggl
es.
Lee:“
doyouhaveacat
alogue?
”
Si
mami
so:“
yes.Woul
dyoul
i
keanyt
hingt
odr
ink?
”
Me:“jui
ceplease.
”Shedisappear
stotheki
tchen
andcomesbackwi t
hthecatal
ogueandhandsitto
Lee.Herdaughtercomesandservesusjui
ce.
Lee:“
damn.Iam i
mpr
essedsi
si.Thi
sisbeaut
if
ul.
”
Si
mami
so:“
thankyou.
”Shesmi
les.
Lel
e:“
howmanycowsforyoudaughter
?”heasks
wit
hasil
lysmi
leonhi
sface.Weal
llaugh.
Simamiso:“
shedoesn’
tdosi
nger
s.”Gci
nol
aughs.
“Sowhatdoyouguysneed?”
Me:“Ial
readyknowwhatIwant.SoIwanta
mermaidnavydresswi
thashweshwef l
are,
itmust
al
sohavesee-thr
oughl
ong-sl
eeves.
”Ishowherthe
pi
cture.
Simamiso:“
thi
swi
llbeeasyandi
twi
llsui
tyour
bodytype.
”
Lel
e:“
Iwantakneel
engt
hlongsl
eevesshi
rtwi
th
thesameshweshwefabr
icthatsi
siwi
llbeusi
ngon
herfl
areandnavydr
esspants.
”
Gcino:“Iwantnavyshweshwepant s,obviousthe
samef abricsinceever
yoneisusingitandanavy
l
ongsl eevescot t
onshir
twiththeshweshwef abri
c
highl
ightedsomewher e.Itr
ustyousoyouwi lldo
yourmagi c.”Simamisolaughs.
Lee:“
wellIwantakneel
engt
hnavyshweshwe
pri
ncessdresswhi
chisaboobt
ube.
”
Simamiso:“
okaypleasest
andupFut hysothatI
cantakeyourmeasurements?”Ist
andupandshe
doesherthi
ng.Theother3alsostandsupandshe
al
sotakesthei
rmeasurements.
Me:“
sohowmuchwi
llal
loft
hiscost
?”
Si
mami so:“
longdressesar
eR800,
theshir
tsare
R300,
thepant sar
eR450andtheshortdr
essesare
R650.
”
Gci
no:“
thatwi
llbeR2950.
”
Me:“
canyoupleasesendmeyouraccount
number
?”shecall
sitoutandIsendt
hemoney
i
mmedi
atel
y.
Lel
e:“t
hecer
emonywil
lbeont
he29t
hofAugustso
wil
lyoubedonebyt
hen?”
Si
mami
so:“
yes.Iwi
llst
artassoonaspossi
ble.
”
Lee:“canyoupleasedelivertheclot
hesinDurban?
Wewi llpayf
orpetrol
.It’
sjustthatwehavever y
busyschedulesanddur i
ngt heweekoft he
ceremonyalltheCelefami l
ywillbesuperbusy.
”
Si
mami
so:“
Ihavenopr
obl
em wi
tht
hatsi
si.
”
Me:“
greatt
hen.Wewi l
lbeonourwayout
.”we
st
andup,exchangehugsandheadout
.
Lel
e:“ther
eisthi
scoolspotwhichisabout5
minutesfr
om here.It
’scal
ledWavecafé.How
aboutweheadt hereandhavesomelunch?”
Me:“
okayl
et’
sgo.
”Wegeti
nsi
det
hecar
sanddr
ive
t
oWave.

Wegetthereandor
derfoodanddrinks.Aftera
whil
ethefoodcomesandweeat .Wef i
nisheati
ng
andweheadbacktoDur ban.Wegettherearound
16:00.It
akeaqui
cknapandsetanalarmfor17:
30
sothatIcanwakeupandpr
epareforthedi
nner
thi
ngy.
.
.
Wear r
ivetot herest aur
antandKhanyaqui ckly
di
r ectustoourt abl e.BythewayIam wear inga
bl
ackl oosel ongsl eevedj umpsui
tandbl ackheels.
Wegett oourt ableandf indtheNtul
ibrother s
al
r eadythere.Assoonasheseesme, Sandi le
standsupandhehugsme.Hesmel lsnicet hough
butIwon’ tadmi tittohim.Heopensachai rforme
andIsi tdown.

Khanya:“thankyousomuchguysf orcomi ng
throughforme.Ourbossj usttoldust hatifIbri
ng3
ormor epeoplethemoneyi sdoubl edsoIguess
R1800.”Sinceit’
sthebigthree,theNt ulibrot
her
s
andmyguar ds.Theguardsar esit
tingatt hei
rown
tablesothattheycanhavef reedom butt heyknow
thatIwil
lsettl
ethei
rbil
lwhet hertheyl i
keitornot.
Me:“
plust
ips.
”Hel
aughs.
Khanya:“
yespl
ust
ips.
”Nomast
andupandhugs
hi
m.
Noma:“
Iam sohappyf
oryoubabe.
”Shesi
tsdown.
Khanya:“
sowhatwoul
dyouguysl
iket
oor
der
?”
Lee:“canIchoosethestart
ersf
orever
yone?”
everyonenods.“We’dli
keKakor
iKebabs.”Noma
andIbur stoutl
aughingatt
hestor
ybehindthi
sdish.
Khanya:“
comi
ngr
ightup.
”hel
eaves.
Sakhi
le:“
sowhat
’sf
unny?
”
Lee:“i
twasourf i
rstti
meonaf i
vestarrestaurant
.
Wewer estil
ldoingourf ir
styearinWits.Therewas
thi
schickcall
edKat r
ina.Shetookustot hisfancy
rest
aurantandf orstart
erssheorderedKakor i
kebabs.Wedi dn’tevenknowwhatt heyar e.”
Me:“i
nmymi ndIt
houghtmaybeit
’scabbageor
somethi
ngal
ongthosel
ines.
”Theyal
llaugh.
Noma:“
Iwashonest
lybl
ank.Soweal
soor
der
ed
t
hekebabs.Wewer
eshockedbyt
her
esul
ts.
”

Sandile:“youarenott heonl yoneswhohave

orderedsomet hingthatyoudon’ tknow. ”The
brotherslaugh.Sandileshar esastoryabouthow
theyor deredseafoodf orthefir
stti
mewhi l
ethey
hadnocl uewhatwasi t.Sandil
ekeepsl ooki
ngat
meandImustsayhehasbeaut i
fuleyes.Khanya
comesbackwi t
ht hestarter
sandwest arteat
ing.

Aft
erawhilethemai ncoursecomesandwe
i
ndulgeinit
.Whenwef i
nishitSandi
lestandsup
andindi
catesthatheisgoingforasmokeout si
de,
heasksmet oaccompanyhi m andIalsost andup.
Weheadt othebalconyandhel i
ghtshiscigaret
te.
Heleansagainstthewallandlookatme.

Sandi
le:“
comeher
e.”
Me:“notwhi
leyou’
resmoki
ng.
”Hequi
ckl
ythr
ows
awayhisci
garet
teandopenhi
sar
msforme.Igot
o
hi
m andj ustl
aymyheadonhi schestwi
thmyarms
aroundhiswaist
,hishandsar
eonmybut tandI
honestl
ydon’tmind.

Sandil
e:“
actual
lyIwantedsomealoneti
mewi t
h
you,smokingwasjustanexcuse.
”Igi
ggle.“
You’r
e
beauti
ful
,youknowthat?”
Me:“
soIhavebeent
old.
”Hechuckl
es.
Sandi l
e:“confidentmuchMi ssCele.Il
ike.Anyways
canIgetaki ssbef or
eyourbr othercomesl ooki
ng
foryou? ”Ilaughandl eanin.ourlipsmeetandwe
justgowi ththef l
ow.Af t
erawhi lewest opkissi
ng
andjustst areateachot her.“Hasanyoneevert old
yout hatyouhavebeaut i
fuluniqueeyes? ”Ishake
myheadno.

Me:“t
heyal
wayssayt
heyar
ewei
rd.
”Hechuckl
es
agai
n.
Sandi
le:“
wellIl
iket
hem andcanyoupl
easesi
ng
formeagain?”
Me:“youar
eabusi
ngmeSandi l
e.”Isul
kandhe
bi
tesmylowerl
ip,
Ijustgi
ggl
e.
Sandi
le:“
justonesong,eveni
fit
’sahooknj
e
Ntombi.
”Isighandstar
tsingi
ng.

Me:“Idon’
tknowmuchaboutal
gebr
abutIknow
1+1equals2,
Andi
t’
smeandyou,
That
’sal
lwe’
l
lhavewhent
hewor
ldi
sthr
ough,
Causebabyweai
n’tgotnot
hingwi
thoutl
ove,
Dar
li
ngyougotenoughf
ort
hebot
hofus
Socomeonbabymakel
ovet
ome”

Sandi
le:“
whydi
dyoust
op?
”
Me:“
ahookisahookSandy.
”HepoutsandIperk
hi
sli
ps.“
Youlooksocut
eri
ghtnow.
”Heblushes.
Sandi
le:“
pleasel
eavemealone.”Hefol
dshisar
ms
i
nhischestdramati
cal
lyandIjustgi
ggl
e.“
Let’
s
headbacki
nsi
debef
oreyougetcol
d.”Inodandwe
headbacki
nsi
de.Wesi
tdown.

Lel
e:“
whatwer
eyouguyst
alki
ngabout
?”
Me:“wena6f i
gures,mina8fi
guressoasil
ingani
l
itt
lebro.sukuthandaizi
ndaba.
”Theyalll
aughand
Lelepouts.
Sakhil
e:“whendi
dyour
eacht
he8f
igur
est
atus
Futhy?”
Me:“
about3year
sago.WhenIwassti
llan
empl
oyeeIwasalr
eadyear
ning6f
igur
es.”
Yandi
sa:“
sodoyouhaveanyshar
ehol
der
sinyour
company?”

Me:“ no.abant
ubayedelelel
aandt heylikebeingin
chargeonsomet hi
ngt hatisnotthei
rs.Mywor dis
thelaweDCCandIdon’ tneedappr ovalfrom the
boardt omakemajordecisions.Anywayst hi
s
businesstalki
yomisa.Nomat ellbaetobr ingmea
verycolddumpyyaf i
shiondizayo.”Shel aughsand
signal
sforuKhanya.Khanyabr
ingsusdr
inks.Iask
forthebi
ll
.

Lee:“
it
’sonme.
”
Me:“
noit’
sonme, r
ememberyoust
il
lhave
Zi
mbali
.”Khanyabr
ingst
hebi
ll
.
Noma:“noyoucamet osuppor
tmesothi
sbil
lison
me.”IexhaleandaskKhanyat
obr
ingmethe
guards’
bil
l.Hedoes.
Sakhi
le:“
soDr
.Leear
eyoui
nar
elat
ionshi
p?”
Lee:“nobutIdoben10ssoyouwilldo.
”Shesays
l
ookingathim whi
lebi
ti
ngherl
ip.Wealllaugh.
Sakhi
le:“
your
eal
lydoben10s?
”
Noma:“yeah,heragemateshavepr
ovent
obe
asshol
esfrom ti
metoti
me.”
Yandi
sa:“
maybeyouhaven’ tmettherightguy.
”He
saysl
ookingatLeester
nly.Ihavenoti
cedthat
Yandi
sahasbeenl ooki
ngatLeeabi tl
ongerthan
normal
.Leeclear
sherthroatandjustchuckl
es.
Me:“Ithi
nkIwi
llcal
litani
ght
.Ihaveabusy
morningtomor
row.”
Sandi
le:“
letmewal
kyouout
.”
Lel
e:“
dudeIam st
il
lher
emoss.
”
Sakhil
e:“
youwil
lgohomelater.Ist
il
lwantustogo
tothatcl
ub.
”Lel
esighsandstandsup.Weallstand
upandsharehugs.
Lel
e:“
seeyout
omorr
owbecauseIam sur
eIwil
lget
homewhenyouar
ealreadyasl
eep.
”Hesi
dehugs
meandsit
sdown.
Lee:“babeskusasake.”Inodandwal kout
,the
guardsalsowalkbehindmebutMabut hoi
swalki
ng
i
nf r
ontofme.Wegett otheparki
nglotand
Zamokuhl egeti
nsi
det hecar.Mabuthoand
Thobekast andabi
tfarfrom Sandi
leandme.

Sandil
e:“
sowhenaregoingt
ospendqual
it
yti
me
toget
her?
”heaskspul
li
ngmet ohi
sbody.
Me:“
howol
dar
eyou?
”hechuckl
es.
Sandi
le:“
31.
”Myeyespopout
.
Me:“dudewhatt
hef
uck?It
houghtyouwer
e25or
somethi
ng.
”
Sandi
le:“
yeahIknow.Il
ookyounger
.”
Me:“Howcomeyouar
enotmar r
iedordon’
thave
ki
ds?Imeanyouar
eoldenough.
”
Sandi
le:“Howcomeyouar
enotmar
ri
edordon’
t
havekids?”
Me:“
Idon’
tdat
e.”
Sandi
le:“
whatdoyoumean?
”
Me:“Idon’
tdorelat
ionshi
ps.Thelastt
imeIwasi
na
seri
ousrel
ati
onshipwas7year sago.Shi
t
happenedandIgaveupont hem.”hecupsmyface
andperksmylips.
Sandi
le:“
maybeyouwereunl
uckybutIam her
e
nowandIam pleadi
ngf
orachance.
”
Me:“
Idon’
tknowSandy.
”
Sandile:“
please.
”Hepout
sandbl
inkshi
seyes
rapi
dly.Ijustgi
ggle.
Me:“
fi
ne,
what
ever
.”
Sandil
e:“
sowhenar
ewespendi
ngqual
it
yti
me
toget
her?
”
Me:“someti
menextweekbecauset
hisweeki
sver
y
busyforme.”heexhal
es.
Sandil
e:“
Iunderst
and,youar
eaverybusywoman.
”
HekissesmeandIr espondt
otheki
ss.Af
tera
whil
ehebr eaksi
tandperksmyli
psandmy
for
ehead.“Goodnight
.”
Me:“night
.”IheadtothecarandMabuthoopens
thedoorforme.Icli
mbi nsideandhecl
osesthe
door.Theygetinsi
detheircarandwedri
veout.
.
.
.
#SandyLvsFut
hy
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
07:
52] :CHAPTER14
‘
At henkosi
:“owwpl easedoyoureal
lyt
hinkIhave
stoppedlovingyou?Youar emysoulmate,myride
ordie,myf orever
.Ijustmarr
iedt
hatwoman
becauseshewaspr egnantwithmybaby.”Hesays
whi l
epulli
nghertohi m.

Lee:“
Athipl
easeleavemealone.Iwantnot
hingto
dowithyou.Youbringnot
hingbutpai
ninmyl i
fe.
Letmego.”Helaughs.

Athi:“youreall
ythi
nkIam goingtoletyougo?Just
l
iket hat?YouandIbelongtogetherandnobodywi l
l
evercomebet weenus.
”hecar r
iesherinhis
shoul derl
ikeasackofpotatoandexitsthedoor.
Leei sscreamingandkicki
ngbutt hatdoesn’
tseem
tofazeAt henkosi
.

Voi
ce:“
youneedt
ohel
pherMaNdosibef
orei
t’
stoo
l
ate.Hel
pher
.”Thevoi
cespeaki
nacal
m manner
.’

Iwakeuppant i
ngandgaspi ngforair.Mypill
owi s
soakingwetwi t
hmysweat .Idon’tknowwhent he
l
asttimeIhadadr eam li
ket hatwas.Ialwayshave
warningdreamswhenat ragedyisaboutt ostri
ke
andmyf ri
endsl earnedthehar dwaynevert oignore
mywar ni
ngs.Icheckt hetimeonmyphoneandI
curseundermybr eathwhenIseet hatit
’sonly4:50
am.Iknowt hatIwon’ tgetanysl eepaftert
hissoI
mightaswel lgetanear l
yst ar
t.

Igetup, makethebedandt akeawar m shower .

AfterthatIdryandl
otionmybodyandheadt othe
cl
oset .Iwearmymat chingnudel aceunder wear .I
wearabl ackvestwit
hgr eent i
ghtsuitandbl ack
heels.Icombmyhai randst yl
eitint
oaneatbun.I
checkt heti
meandseet hatit’
s5:30.Itakemywor k
stuffandheaddownst ai
r s.Ipl
acemybagsi nthe
counterandmakecof feef ormysel f
.Whi l
edrinking
coffeeMabut howal
ksi nt hekit
chenbar efoot
wear
ingonl
yavestandsweat
pant
s.

Mabut
ho:“
am Il
ateorar
eyouear
ly?
”Il
aughathi
m.
Me:“
Icoul
dn’
tsl
eepso…”Ishr
ug.
Mabut
ho:“
byt
hewaygoodmor
ningFut
hy.
”
Me:“
goodmor
ningMabut
ho.
”
Mabut ho:“
giveme10mi nut
estogetr
eadyandI
willdri
veyoutowork.
”Inodandherushest
ohis
room.Af t
erexact
ly10minut
eshecomesback
l
ooki ngdapperi
nablacksui
t.Ipl
acemycupint
he
sink.

Me:“di
dyoubat
h? ”hel
aughsandt
akesmy
bel
ongi
ngsfr
om thecount
er.
Mabut ho:“
Idon’
ttake2hourst
ogetreadyunli
ke
anothergenderwhichIwon’
tment
ion.”Il
aughand
rol
lmyeyes.

Wegetoutandheadt
otheAst
onMar
ti
n.Heopens
thedoorf
orme,Iclimbinandhecl osesitaft
erme.
Hegetsonthedriverseatanddri
vesout.Wear r
ive
atworkandusethepr i
vateel
evatorj
ustforcont
rol.
Wegettomyof f
iceandhepl acesmyst uffonmy
desk.

Me:“whenZahcomesi
npl easetel
lherIwantafull
Engl
ishbr
eakf
astandt
ellhertoorderf
oryoutoo.”
Mabut
ho:“
sur
ebozza.
”Heexi
tst
hedoor
.

Icheckmynot ebookandseet hatIhaveabout5

designst hatImustdesi gn.Isighandsetupmy
equipmenti nmydr awi
ngboar d.Istartwiththe
univer si
tyresidentsdesigns.Ihavedesi gned
residentsbef oresot hi
sshoul dbeeasy.Ij usthave
toincludenewel ement shereandt here.Istart
drawi ng.Timef li
eswhenyouar edoingsomet hing
thatyouar epassi onatewi t
h.Zahbar gesinmy
offi
cewi t
hapaperbag.Shegr eetsmeandset sup
thef oodinmyt able.
Me:“
hasThobekaar
ri
ved?
”
Zah:“
yesboss.
”
Me:“
whatt
imei
sit
?”
Zah:“
10:
20am”
Me:“damn.Idi
dn’
tevenreal
izethatIwashungr
y.”
Shecomesnearmydr awi
ngt abl
eandexamines
thedrawi
ngs.
Zah:“
wow.Whati
nspi
redt
hisdesi
gn?
”
Me:“
itj
ustcamei
ntomymi
ndnj
e.”
Zah:“
it
’sbeaut
if
ul.Icanalr
eadypi
ctur
eitoncei
t’
s
done.
”Ichuckl
eandst andup.
Me:“
howwasyourmeet
ingwi
thSi
bisi
?”
Zah:“hewassuperexci
tedandhesai
dwhenhe
buysabuil
dingforanot
hercl
ubinPor
tEl
izabet
hhe
wil
lletmedesi
gnit.”
Me:“that
’swhatIam tal
kingaboutdear.AnywaysI
needyout ohi
reabout3additi
onalconstructi
on
workerswhowillonl
yhelpwiththeBlueDi amond
proj
ect.
”
Zah:“
sur
eboss.
”
Me:“ pl
easerequestaf
inanci
alr
eportf
rom
Lonwabo.Ineedonebyt heendoftomorr
ow
businessday.Allt
heprofi
tswehavemade,losses,
al
lthatfinanci
alshi
tnj
e.”Shenodsandheadsout .

Isitdownandeatmyf ood.Af t
ereati
ngIcont inue
withmydesi gning.Iaddanopenspacest ylish
rooft
opwi t
hbenchesbecauseIknowhowst udent s
l
ovechi l
li
nginther oof.Weal solovedchi
ll
ingatt he
roofwhenwewer esti
llatwits.Wewould
somet i
messmokeweedt herebutnotal
lthet ime.
Oncei nawhi l
ewhenoneofuswr oteadi
fficul t
exam.Af t
erawhi leIam di st
urbedbymyr ingi ng
phone.Ianswerwi t
houtevenchecki ngwhot he
call
eris.

Me:“
Ntombi
fut
hiCel
ehel
lo.
”
Noma:“
exact
lyhowbusyar
eyou?
”Igi
ggl
e.
Me:“
30mi
nut
est
aset
henIam doneher
e.Ist
art
ed
aproj
ectthi
smorningandIwantedt
oleavet
he
of
fi
ceatleasthal
fwaythr
oughit
.”
Noma:“
Iam gi
vingyou2hour
stogett
oZi
mbal
i.
”
Me:“
whatt
imei
sit
?”
Noma:“
1:30pm t
ase.
”
Me:“okay.By3:30Iwillbethere.”Idropt
hecal
l
andsendat exttoKaski nghertopackanoverni
ght
bagformeandal soworkclothes.Iseta29
minutesti
merandcont inuewor ki
ng.
ThetimerlapsesandIstopworki
ng.Irollmy
sket
chesandputt hem i
nthetube.Iputthem i
nside
thesafe.Icol
lectmyst
uffandheadout .Ifi
nd
ThobekaandMabut holaughi
ngandhandt hem my
stuf
f.

Thobeka:“
areyouhavi
ngl
unchsomewhere?
”she
asksaswemakeourwaytotheelevat
or.
Me:“no.Ihaveagirl
s’ni
ghtoutt
odayatZi
mbal
iso
Ihavetoprepar
e.”
Mabut
ho:“
yourf
ri
endsar
ecoolt
houghanddownt
o
ear
th.Il
ikeLeet
hemost
.”
Thobeka:“wel
lIl
ikeNomat
hemost
.Il
oveher
per
sonalit
ythemost.
”
Me:“
Iwi
llt
ellt
hem yousai
dthat
.”
Mabut ho:“whenyout ellLeedon’ tputitaslikeIam
i
nterestedinher …notthatIam noti nterest
edi n
her…it’
sj ustt
hat…youknowwhatnevermi nd.”
ThobekaandIl aughathi m.Wegett othepar ki
ng
l
otandf i
ndZamokuhl el aughingwi t
hNel l
ywho
worksatt he3Ddepar tment .Shegr eet
susand
qui
cklyr ushesinsidet
hebui l
ding.
Me:“Mr
.ladi
es’
manneh?
”Iwi
ggl
emyeyebr
ows
andhel
aughs.
Zamokuhl
e:“
eveni
ngboss.
”

Heopensthedoorf ormeandIgetinsi
de.Hedri
ves
outoft
heparkinglot.Avi
deocal
lcomest hr
ough
onmyphoneandIchuckl ewhenIseewhoi s
cal
li
ng.Ianswerit
.
Me:“
Mphemba.
”Hegi
ggl
es.
Sandi
le:“
canyoupl
easecal
lmet
hatever
yti
me?
”I
l
aughandshakemyhead.
Me:“thi
swasaonet
imethi
ng.
”Hepout
sandsulks.
“Fora31yearol
dmanyousur
eareact
ingchi
ldi
sh.
”
Helaughs.
Sandil
e:“
youarehurti
ngmyfeel
ingssoIam
all
owedtosulk.
”Irol
lmyeyes.“
Anywayshowi
s
yourdaysofarbeaut
iful
?”
Me:“verybusy.Ist
art
edworki
ngat6am.Iam
superti
redri
ghtnowbutIhaveot
her
commi t
ments.”
Sandi
le:“
IwishIwast
her
etogi
veyouaf
ullbody
massage.”Igi
ggl
e.
Me:“
kant
iwher
ear
eyou?
”
Sandil
e:“Iam inJozi.Therewasanemer gencysoI
hadtor ushtherethi
smor ningbutIwillbeback
tomorrowinDur ban.
”Asadnessemot ionsurfaces
butIdon’tshowi t
.Idon’tknowwhyIam sad
becauseoft hefactt
hathel ef
twithouttel
li
ngme.
Am If
all
ingf
orhi
m?

Me:“
whatwast
heemer
gency?
”
Sandile:“
ther
eisacoll
aboweareworkingonwit
h
TiwaSavageandourver yownFl
exy.Sothe
producerwhowassupposedtoworkingwitht
hem
fel
lil
l.Ihadtorepl
acehi
m.”
Me:“
Flexyi
swor
kingwi
thTi
waSavage?
”
Sandi
le:“
yeah.Ti
waisaver
ycooll
ady.Il
oveher
per
sonali
tyandaccent
.”
Me:“
sowhydon’
tyouaskhert
obet
hef
utur
eMr
s.
Nt
uli
?”
Sandi
le:“
wai
tar
eyouj
eal
ousNt
ombi
?”
Me:“j
ealous?Who?Me?No.anywaysIhavet
ogo.
Tal
klater.
”Ihangup.
Zamokuhl
e:“
FYIyouar
emor
ebeaut
if
ult
hanTi
wa.
”
Me:“
yey!Hi5.
”Wehi5andt
henl
augh.
.
.
Wear echil
li
ngbythepoolandthesunisal
ready
sett
ing.Wearefr
om t hespawherewedidf
ullbody
massagesandwaxes.Awai t
ercomestowherewe
areseatedandsmiles.

Waiter
:“i
t’
sget
ti
ngcol
dri
ghtnowher
esoI
’
dli
ket
o
accompanyyoutot
hehottub.
”
Noma:“ t
hat’
swhatIam t al
kingabout.
”Weallstand
up.“Leadthewaymyl ove.
”shechucklesandleads
ustowher etheJacuzziisat.WegettotheJacuzzi
anddiveinsi
de.Thet emperatur
eofthewaterisjust
perf
ect.Thewaiterservesusourdri
nksandt hen
l
eaves.

Lee:“sowhat’supwit
hyouandSandil
e?Wesaw
howl oveydoveyyouguyswer
elastni
ght
.Ar
eyou
fal
li
ngf orhi
m? ”
Me:“gi
rlIam apl
ayer
.Havebeenonef
or7year
s.
Youknowwhenyouar el
ooki
ngforanewdi
ckyou
don’
tjustgot
oaguyandbeli
ke:“
hey,Iam apl
ayer
andIwannauseyouf
oryourdi
ck”.
”theybothl
augh.
Noma:“
soyouhavenof
eel
ingsf
orhi
m?”
Me:“al
it
tl
ebitofthem becauseIam al
sohuman
andheisagoodguybuthei snott
heoneGodsent
forme.
”Nomal aughs.
Noma:“yoursoulmat
edoesn’
tannouncehi
sar
ri
val
.
Hejustshowsupandmakeyouchangeyourways.
”
Lee:“
tal
kingf
rom exper
ience.
”Shewi
ggl
esher
eyebr
owsandwel aughather.
Me:“honest
lyIam j
ustaf
terSandi
le’
sdick.Ifheis
goodthenImightkeephi
m aroundforabit.Buti
f
heisbadngizomshayangeredcard.
”Theybot h
l
augh.

Lee:“
yesgirl
.”Shehi5’sme.Iam actual
lyseri
ous.I
j
ustwantSandi l
e’sdickandIknowthati
fItreathi
m
goodandlikeahuman, hei
sgoingtomakesweet
l
ovetomeandi thasbeensol ongsi
nceIhave
madelove.Ijustonlyfuckt
heseonenightstands.
Noma:“
andyou,
”shepoint
satLee,
“what
’sup
bet
weenyouandYandi
sa?”
Me:“yeahgi
rl
.Isawhowhewasst ari
ngatyou.It
’s
l
ikeyouhaveahistorytoget
herorhewouldl
ikeyou
t
ohavesomehi story.
”Ili
ckmylipsandshelaughs.
Noma:“exact
ly.If
elthi
seyespi
erci
ngt
hroughmy
ski
nbutthestarewasdirect
edt
oyoubutIfel
tit
.”
Webothlaugh.
Lee:“wel
lwedon’thaveahist
orytoget
herandwe
arenotpl
anningonhavingapresent.
”Wel aughat
her.“
ButIwouldn’tmi
ndbeingfuckedbythe
seri
ousbrot
her,evenifi
t’
saonenightstand.”
Noma:“
buthei
smar
ri
ed.
”
Lee:“
Idi
dn’
tsayheshoul
ddi
vorcehi
swif
e.Ij
ust
sai
dI’dl
ovet
ohavehimforj
ustoneni
ght
.”
Me:“I
’dlovet
ohavePr i
nceKuhleinmybedevenif
i
t’
sforonenight
.”Theybothl
ookatmewi tht
hei
r
eyespoppedoutandtheyburstoutl
aughi
ng.
Lee:“
damnIwasneverr
eady.Butgi
rlIam a
hundredpercentbehi
ndyou.Thatmanisfineas
fuck.Hi
sdignityandhi
smuscles.Icanal
ready
i
magi nehi
ssi ze.
”
Noma:“youguysareunfai
r.NowImustfant
asi
ze
seei
nganotherman’s6-
packwhil
ehavi
ngmyown
man.”shewhinesandwelaughather
.

Wecont i
nuedri
nki
ngandchat ti
ngandwel at
er
headt ot her
est
aurantf
ordinner.Aft
erthatwehead
tooutr oom.Wearesharingaroom whi chhasking
sizedbed.Notthatwecan’taff
or dseparat
erooms,
wej ustwannabondandt al
kaboutsex, menand
moneyt hewhol
enight.
.
.
*
**NARRATED*
**
Kuhl
e’
syoungerbr
othergotinhisstudyandf
ound
hi
mjustsi
tt
ingandstar
ingintospace.

Si
bongi
seni
:“ear
tht
oKi
ngZul
u.”Hechuckl
edand
snappedoutofi
t.
Kuhl
e:“
towhatdoIownt
hisvi
sit
?”heaskedsi
tt
ing
upst
rai
ght
.

Sbo:“Iaccessedasecur it
yfootagetoar estaur
ant
whereyourspecialfr
iendwasatl astnightandt his
i
swhatIf ound.”Hepassedhi m hi stablet.Kuhl
e
tooki
tandpl ayedthevideo.Itwasavi deoofFut hy
andSandilekissi
ngatt hebalcony.Hecl enchedhis
j
awsandpl acedthetabletdown.“ Sowhat ’
snext?”

Kuhl
e:“shedi
dsayshedoesn’
tdat
esomaybet
his
i
sanotherShamasesaga.
”
Sbo:“
arewest
il
lgoi
ngt
othechi
ll
azatherhouse
onFri
day?”
Kuhl
e:“
shehasn’
tsai
danyt
hingsoIguessi
t’
sst
il
l
on.
”
Sbo:“
what
’sst
oppi
ngyouf
rom maki
ngheryour
s?”
Kuhle:“sheisnotaf l
owertypeofwomanandshe
doesn’tgetcharmedeasily.Whatmakesyouthink
shewoul dagreetobeinginapol ygamousmarr
iage?
Alr
eadyshehat esr el
ati
onshipsplusshei
ssuper
i
ndependentandr ich.”

Sbo:“gogodi
dsayt
hatyourot
herwifei
sonher
way.Maybeshewil
lagr
eetobeingyoursecond
wifewhentheti
mecomes.Pl
usourancestorswork
overt
imesoshewon’
thaveachoicebuttogivei
n.”
Kuhl
e:“
what
everdude.
”
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
07:
53] :CHAPTER15
Wear epreparingthehousef orthegett ogether.Lee,
Noma, Zah,LindsayandXol iarehelping.Leleisn’t
here.Hehas3gi gstonightsohewi llonlycome
backt omor r
owmor ning.IgaveKaweekendof f
j
ustt obondwi thherfiancé.Itri
edgi vingtheguar ds
aweekendof fbutt heywer econvi ncedt hatIwill
needsecur it
ybecauset herewi l
lbest rangersinmy
house.Nomacookedpapandt heot hersprepared
salads.Kuhleandhi sfri
endswi llbet heones
braaingthemeat .

Theyar ri
veaf t
er30mi nut es.Wear ejustwear i
ng
si
mpl eclothes, j
eanswitht eesandsneaker sand
othersboot sandsandal s.Kuhle’sfri
endsbought
boozet hatcanl astagroupoff ri
endspar t
yingt he
wholeweekend.Amongsthi sfr
iends, Iseehi s
youngerbr otherSibongiseni.Weal lexchangehugs
andweal lgotot hekit
chen.Hebr ought6ofhi s
fr
iendsexcl udinghisbrother.Hei ntr
oducest hem
asPhi wayinkosiandPhi lasandewhoar etwi ns,
Mbuso, Thomas, PhumudzoandI saac.Ial so
i
ntr
oducemyf
ri
ends.

Noma:“t
hishasof
fi
cial
lyt
urnedi
ntoahousepar
ty.
”
Wealll
augh.
Me:“youguyscanstartbraaingthemeat.Li
ndsay
passthebucket
.”Hegivest hebucketwit
h
mari
natedmeattoSibongiseni.“
Mabut hopl
ease
showthem wherethebraaingareais.”
Mabutho:“
sureboss.Gent
lemenpl
easef
oll
owme.
”
Li
ndsayscreams.
Li
ndsay:“
damnButho,youshouldspeakmor eoft
en.
Yourvoi
ceissuchatur
non. ”Mabuthorushesout
andthemenfoll
owhim.Thobekabur stout
l
aughingandMabuthogiveshimthelook,she
l
aughsharder
.

Lee:“damnt
hosear
esomef
inebr
other
sri
ght
ther
e.”
Zah:“
youcansayt
hatagai
n.”Weal
lgi
ggl
e.“
Wher
e
arewegoi
ngtoeat
?”
Me:“
it’
scol
doutsidesowearej
ustgoi
ngt
oeatat
t
hedini
ngroom andchil
latt
hel
ounge.
”
Thobeka:“
letmeputt
heboozei
nthef
ri
dge.
”
Xol
i:“
Iwi
llhel
pyou.
”Theyst
artpacki
ngt
hebooze.
Lee:“gi
rlyou’
rest
il
lher
e.It
houghtyouwer
en’
tin
theroom anymore.
”
Xoli
:“Ijustcouldn’
tbel
ievet
hatIwasi
nthe
presenceofr oyal
ty.
”

Lee:“
ifyousti
ckwi t
hher ,
”shepoi nt
satmewi thher
dumpy,“evenbeinginthepr esenceofBarack
Obamawon’ tfazeyoubecauseshei sal
soa
cel
ebri
tyherself
.”Ij
ustrollmyeyes..

Me:“drama.”Shechuckles.Itakeaf l
yingf i
shcan
from t
hefr
idgeandst ar
tdrinking.“Whydon’ twe
j
oi nt
heguysf ornowoutside?Af t
erallthisisaget
toget
herandt heyshoul
dn’tbeout si
deal one.We
shouldbemi ngli
ng.
”
Noma:“goodidea.
”Theytakethei
rcans,Xol
itakes
aglassofwineandweheadt owheretheguysar e.
IgoandstandnexttoKuhle.
Sbo:“
youguyscoul
dn’
tst
ayawayf
rom us?
”
Lee:“Il
oveben10ssoifyoudon’tshutupImight
giveyousomematuredpussy.
”Al lt
heguys’eyes
popout ,
NomaandIlaughhard.Sboclearshis
throat
.

Phi
wayinkosi
:“youhaveabeaut
if
ulhouseMi
ss
Cel
e.”
Me:“pl
easecallmeFut hy.MissCel
eismy
unmarri
edaunt.”LeeandNomal aughbecauset
hey
knowthisauntIam tal
kingabout.
Phi
lasande:“
whatdoyouguysdof
oral
ivi
ng?
”
Lee:“
Iam apsychol
ogi
st.
”
Noma:“
advocat
e.”
Li
ndsay:“
recept
ioni
st.
”
Zah:“
Fut
hy’
sfi
rstassi
stant
.”
Xol
i:“
Fut
hy’
ssecondassi
stant
.”Theguysl
augh.
Mbuso:“
youhave2assi
stant
s?”Inod.
Kuhl
e:“shehasaverybusyschedul
e.Ihadt
omake
anappoint
mentfordi
scussi
ngthisgett
oget
her
.”I
l
ookathim.
Me:“
you’
rel
yingKuhl
e.”Hel
aughsal
it
tl
e.
Phumudzo:“
howbusyi
syourl
if
e?”
Me:“Ihar
dlyhaveti
met
ochil
lal
onenje.Ineed
someonewhoi sgoi
ngt
ofi
xmylifef
orme. ”

Theyf i
nishbr aaingt hemeatandweal lheadback
i
nside.Wedi shupandeat .Af tereati
ngweheadt o
theloungeandchi l
lwhi l
edr inking.Li
ndsay
suggestst hatwepl aypar t
ygamesandweal lagree.
What ’
smor eexcitingisthatt heyar en’
tthatsexual .
Spinthebot tleincludest akingshot stogetherand
notkissing.Thiswi l
ldefinit
elyspeedt hepr ocessof
usget t
ingdr unkbutIam happyt hatIam inmy
house,inmycomf or tzone.Ist areatLeeand
remembert hedr eam.Iaskt ospeakwi thherasi de.
Mbuso:“
girl
salwayshavesomet
hingt
otal
kabout
.”
Theguyslaugh.

Me:“Ij
ustr
ememberedsomet
hingthatIneedt
o
di
scusswit
hherandit
’si
mport
ant.
”
Lee:“
let
’sgo.
”Shepul
lsmet
otheki
tchen.“
What
’s
up?”
Me:“
Ihadadr
eam.
”

Sheknowsmydr eamsar everyser i

ousbecause
sometimeswhendangerappr oachesIwar nt hem.
Theystart
edt aki
ngt hem ser
iouslywhenIwar ned
Nomaaboutanacci dentthatleftherpar
alyzedf or
months.Idreamedoft heaccidentandItoldher
aboutiti
nfulldetai
l.Shedidn’tli
stenandwheni t
happenedshecr i
ed, notbecauseshewasi nj
ur ed
butbecauseshei gnoredmywar ning.

Lee:“
whatdi
dyousee?
”
Me:“Athenkosi.Hewast aki
ngyouagai
nstyourwil
l.
Hesaidheonl ymar r
iedthatwomanbecauseshe
wascarryi
nghi schil
d.Hesaidyoubel
ongt oget
her
andnoonewi llseparat
eyouguys.KhokhosaidI
musthelpyoubef oreit
’stoolat
e.”

Lee:“wow.”Sheexhalesloudlyandhereyes
becomegl assy.Ibr
inghercloserandhugher.She
snif
fsandIbr ushherback.“Whenwi l
lIgetpeace
i
nmyl i
fe?Whycan’theleavemeal one?”
Me:“Iwil
lbor
rowMabut ho’
sgunandIwillputa
bul
letbet
weenhiseyes.Maybethenhewillf
inall
y
l
eaveyoualone.
”Webr eakthehugandshegi ggl
es.
Lee:“
youal
waysknowwhatt
osay.
”
Me:“Iknow.Anywayswearef
amil
yandwealways
prot
ecteachother
.Youwil
lmovei
nwit
hme
tomorrowunti
lwefindawayt
odealwi
thhi
m and
that
’snon-
negoti
able.
”
Lee:“
Idon’
tknowwhatIwoul
ddowi
thoutyou.
”She
sayswipi
nghert
ear
s.
Me:“gi
rlpl
easedon’
ttal
kasifyourl
ifei
sdepending
onme.Youar est
rongandfi
erceandIhatethatyou
havetoshedtear
sbecauseofthatf
ucker.
”
Lee:“
letmegor
eappl
ymymake-
up.
”
Me:“sure.
”Shedi
sappear
stooneoft
her
ooms.I
r
etur
nt othel
ounge.
Sbo:“
wher
eismysugarmama?
”weal
llaughather
.
Noma:“keepcal
li
ngherasugarmamaandshewi
ll
sur
elygi
veyousomesugar.”
Sbo:“
Iai
n’tscar
edofher
.”
Zah:“
howaboutyousayt
hatt
oherf
ace?
”
Lee:“
saywhatt
owhosef
ace?
”weal
llookatSbo.
Sbo:“sayt
oyourfacethatyou’
rebeaut
if
ul.
”Weal l
burstoutl
aughi
ngbecauseSbo’sfacei
shilar
ious
ri
ghtnow.
Li
ndsay:“
guysl
et’
spl
ayt
rut
hordar
e.”
Mbuso:“Iam game,j
ustdon’
tmakeext
remedar
es
youguys.”Weallagr
ee.
Li
ndsay:“
Iam st
art
ing.Bossl
adyt
rut
hordar
e.”I
hat
edar
essoI
mmagowi
tht
rut
h.
Me:“
trut
h.”
Li
ndsay:“
crazi
estpl
acethatyouhavehadsexat
.”I
l
aughandcovermyf acewithmyhands.

Me:“ahotelbal conywhil
et her
ewasaweddi ngby
thepoolsi
de. ”Yohthatweekendwasl i
t.Wewer ei
n
Drakensber gSunResort4year sago.Someone
hookedusupwi t
hthedrugcalledmolly.Wehadt o
putcamer asi nourroom sothatwewillseewhat
wedi dbecauseweknewt hatt
hepossibil
ityofus
remember ingwhathadhappeneddur i
ngt he
weekendwassl imtonone.

I
saac:“
whatt
hef
uck?
”
Me:“Iwashi
ghonmol
lyandIwashor
ny.
”Theyal
l
l
augh.
Noma:“thatwasthemostenter
tai
ningweekendI
haveeverhad.Havi
ngsexfor8hour syoh.
”weal
l
l
aughatherbecauseshereal
lyhadsomuchener gy
t
hatt
heguyshehookedupwi
thcompl
ained.
Zah:“
myt
urn.Phi
wayi
nkosit
rut
hordar
e.”
Phi
wa:“
dar
e.”Weal
lhypehi
m.
Zah:“Idareyout otakeof
fyourshir
tandshowus
them abs.”hestandsupandt akesoffhi
sshir
t.
Damnhegott he8-pack.Zahfanshersel
fwit
hher
hand.“It
’sgett
inghotupinher e.
”wealll
augh.He
wearshisshirtagainandsit
sdown.

Phumudzo:“
okayNomat
rut
hordar
e?”
Noma:“
dar
e.”Shei
snotscar
edoft
heunknownt
his
one.
Phumudzo:“
Idareyoutodancet
oBeyoncé’
sdance
foryouf
or10seconds.
”
Noma:“hitthemusi c.Don’
tgethardboys.
”The
musicstart
spl ayi
ng,shegetsontopofthetabl
e
andstar
tsdi r
tydancing.10secondslapseandall
themen’sjawsar eont hef
loor
.
Mbuso:“If
eell
ike10secondswast ooli
tt
le.
”Weall
l
augh.Thegamecontinues,somehavekissedand
someonehasgivenanotheralapdance.Kuhot,
ku
rough,
kusweaty.AndNoma’ stur
ncomes.

Noma:“pri
nceKuhl
e.”Hechuckl
esandl
ookather
.
“Tr
uthordare.
”
Kuhle:“dar
e.”Shegi
vesmeasini
sterl
ook.Shei
s
notthinki
ngwhatIthi
nkshei
sthi
nking.Lor
dhave
mercy.

Noma:“ IdareyoutokissFuthyfor30seconds
withoutyourhandstouchingherbody,j
ustyourl
ips
doingthewor k.I
fyoufailt
okeepyourhandsoffher
thenyouoweusahol i
dayt oany5starresor
tin
Mzansi.”

Li
ndsay:“t
hat’
sthel
awyeri
nyout
alki
ng.Al
ways
negot
iat
ing.
”
Kuhl
e:“
whathappenswhenshet
ouchesme?
”
Noma:“not
hing,
thedar
eisonyounother
.”He
st
andsupandhel psmest
anduptoo.Wefaceeach
ot
her.
Me:“
justdon’
tcat
chf
eel
ings.
”Theguysl
augh.
Kuhl
elooksatNoma.
Kuhl
e:“Ican’
tevenbr
inghercl
oserbyherwai
st?
”
nomalaughs.
Noma:“youcanbr i
ngherclosertoyounow
becausethekisshasn’
tbegan.”Hebri
ngsme
cl
osertohim andthenputhishandsinhi
spocket
.
Me:“guyswereal
lydeserveahol idayneh?
”theyal
l
agr
eeandKuhlejustchuckles.Iam sogoingto
makehimtouchmeandevencr avemeaf t
erwar
ds.

Hebr i
ngshi sheaddownandst artskissingme.Hi s
l
ipsar esocoldandhi sbreathisthatofal cohol.It
turnsmeon.Iputmyhandsunder neathhi sshirt
andsl owlycaresshisabs.Ithentaket hem outand
wrapmyar msar oundhisneckbr i
nginghi m closer.
Hegr untsandput shisarmsar oundmywai stand
thenlowerthem tomybut t.Thegangcheer s,which
meanswehaveat ri
pahead.West opki
ssingand
t
henstar
eintoeachother’
seyes.Hemouthsan‘ I
l
oveyou’andIlookathi
m shocked.Isi
tdown,take
mydri
nkandt akeasip.

Thomas:“doyougi vekissi
nglessons?Because
thatwasthemostpassi onateki
ssIhaveeverseen.
Youdefini
tel
ywat chedboldandthebeautif
uland
daysofourli
veswhi lewewer ewatchi
ngcoolcats.
”
Ijustl
aughandshakemyhead.“ Bythewayi t
’s
yourturnFut
hy.”IlookatLeeandsmi l
e,sheis
goingtopayforNoma’ ssins.

Me:“Doct
orNkositr
uthordar
e.Beforeyouchoose
j
ustknowthatIknowyourdeepestsecr
etsandI
canmakeyouspill
.”
Lee:“bi
tchyouwantmetochoosedare?Fi
ne
whatever,dar
e.”Icl
apmyhandsl
ikeakidseei
ng
candy.
Me:“Idar
eyoutotwer
kdi
rect
lyonSbo’
sdi
ck.
”She
smil
esandstandsup.
Lee:“t
hat’
seasy.Sbostandup.
”hestandsupand
standsbehindher
.“Ngicel
aII
zass.Don’
tgethar
d
j
unior.Forhowlong?”

Me:“40seconds.”Shenods.Thesongsst art
s
playi
ngandshest ar
tsshaki
ngherboot y.Bythe
ti
meshef i
nishesSboquicklyrushestothe
bathr
oom.Theguysl aughathim.“ Enoughwith
tr
uthordare.Thi
sgamei sintense.
”

Mabut ho:“youcansayt hatagai

nboss.”Hesays
withthedeepestvoi ceIhaveneverheardhimtalk
with.Andt henithitsme,heli
kesLee.Istandup
andheadout si
det ogetsomefreshairbecausethe
temper at
ureinsidethehouseishot.Igositbythe
poolanddi pmyf eeti
nsi
de.

Voi
ce:“ar
eweboringyou?
”heasksandt
hencome
t
ositnexttome.
Me:“
whydi
dyougr
abmybut
t?”
Kuhl
e:“
whydi
dyoucar
essmyabs?
”
Me:“Iwassecur
ingat
ri
pforever
yone.What
’syour
excuse?
”
Kuhl
e:“Ienj
oyedki
ssi
ngyouandIwi
shedi
tcoul
d
gobeyondthat.
”
Me:“Kuhl
eyouar emar r
ied.Youcan’ tj
ustwishto
havesexwithmel i
kethat.Idon’tknowingl
ysleep
wit
hmar r
iedmen.IfIhavesl eptwithamar r
iedman
befor
eitwasprobablyaoneni ghtstand.”

Kuhle:“Il
oveyouMaCel e.Ihavet r
iedignori
ngmy
feel
ingsforyoubutIcan’tanymor e.Thatkisswas
j
ustat ipoftheiceber
g.”Ishakemyheadno.“ Futhy
wedon’ tchoosewhowef al
linlovewith.Iknowyou
don’tdatebutplease,
”hebringsmecl osertohi m
andhi sli
pscapturemine.Hiskissishypnot i
zing.
Hebr eaksitbutdoesn’
tletgoofme.“ Pleasegi ve
meachancet ogiveyoumyl ove.
”

Me:“
asyourwhatKuhl
e?Yourmi
str
ess?
”Ir
emove
hi
shandsfr
om mywaist
.Hescr
atcheshi
shead
andcl
ear
shist
hroat
.
Kuhl
e:“
asmysecondwife.”Il
ookathi
mlooki
ng
downandIj
ustbur
stoutlaughi
ng.
Me:“youhavegottobekiddingme.Whenyousee
meyouseesecondbest ?Whatmakesyouthi
nkI’
d
gi
veupmyf r
eedom ofhavinganydi
ckIwant
anyt
imejusttobeyoursecondwife?
”Ist
andup
andhequickl
ystandsupt o.

Kuhl
e:“whatIknowisthatIcan’tl
ivewi
thoutyou.
”I
am t
erminat
ingthi
sconversati
onimmediatel
y.
Me:“whenarewegoingtothetri
p?”Iaskwithmy
mostfakesmil
eeverpl
asteredonmyf ace.He
br
eathesoutl
oudandrubhishandst oget
her.
Kuhl
e:“Iwil
lgetmyassistantt
obookahotelf
or
youguysforthefi
rstweekendofSept
ember.Wher
e
doyouwannago? ”
Me:“
Ihavealwayswant
edt
ogot
oFancour
tHot
el
whi
chisinGeorge.
”
Kuhl
e:“
soFancour
tHot
eli
tis.
”
Me:“don’tf
orgettoinvi
teyourwife.Iwil
lal
sobei ng
adate.
”Iheadbacki nside.“
Guesswhatgood
peopl
e?Wear egoingtoFancourtHoteli
nGeor ge
onthefi
rstweekendofSept ember .
”Theyallcheer
andtheladi
esscream.

Thenightcontinueswi thmet r
yingtomakemi ni
mal
conversati
onwi t
hKuhl e.Hereallypi
ssedmeof f
.
Whenheseesme, heseessomeonewhowi l
lset
tle
forthesecondpl ace?Hecl earlydoesn’
tknowme.
Andwhywoul dIt ortur
emysel fbybecomi nga
sist
erwifetohisBar biewi f
e?Andyouguysknow
howr oyalpeoplear edramat i
c.They’
dt el
lmet o
becomeahousewi f
e,quitwearingpants,qui
tgoing
clubbi
nganddr inking.YohIcan’ tdealshame.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
07:
53] :CHAPTER16

It
’sMondaymor ningandIam goingtoJHBwi t
h
XoliandMabutho.Xolihasbeenincont actwith
ownerofthebuil
ding,theoneinNorthCl i
ffandhas
securedafacetofacemeet i
ngtodaydur inglunch,
at1pm.Zamokuhl edr
ivesustotheairpor t
.Wear e
anhourearlysowegot hr
oughallt
heai rport
procedur
esandt hengowai tf
orourfl
ightt obe
call
ed.

Xoli
:“howdoesi tf
eelst
ayinginthesamehouse
wit
hDr .Lee?”shesayslooki
ngatMabut ho.They
havebeent easi
nghimthewhol eweekendbehind
Lee’
sback.Hegr untsandputonearphones.We
j
ustlaughathi m.“
Wherear ewegoingtosleep?”
Me:“
atLel
e’
shouse.
”
Xoli
:“It
hinkyoushouldincludemynameand
phonenumberi nyourbusinesscardssot
hatwhen
peopledon’
treachZah,theycanalsocont
actme.”
Me:“Iam lovi
ngthenewyou.Youar enotheshy
Nomxolisianymore.Youaref
reetospeakyour
mind.TellZahaboutthebusi
nesscardsthi
ng.
”
Xol
i:“
sur
eboss.
”

Ani deacomest omymi ndwhi lesitt

ingthere,Itake
outmynot ebookandpenci landst ar
tdrawi ng.Itold
youonceIst artdrawingIdisappeart omyown
wor l
d.XolishakesmeandIl ookather .“Ourf l
ightis
beingcal l
ed.”Ilookatthetimeonmywat ch,the
ti
met oboardthepl anehasar rived.Mabut hois
alr
eadyst andingwi thourbagsonhi shands.Icl ose
mynot ebook,standupandst retchmyar ms.Wego
boar dtheplaneat7am andassoonasIam set tled
i
nIcont i
nuewher eIlef
toffwithmydr awing.Af ter
anhourorsoaf li
ghtattendantannouncest hatwe
wil
lbel andingshor tl
y.
Wef i
nall
ylandatt heORTamboai rpor
tandhead
outsi
de.Mabuthol eadsust othepar ki
ngl ot.Her
eI
thoughtwewerej ustgoingt ouseUber .Aman
handshim carkeysandt henleaves.Mabut ho
opensthedoorforme, icli
mbi nandXol ialso
cli
mbsi nontheot herside.Heput sthebagsi nthe
bootandgetont hedr i
verseat.

Me:“whosecari
sthi
s?”Mabut
hodr
ivesoutoft
he
ai
rpor
t.
Xol
i:“
arent
al.If
igur
edyoudon’
thaveacarher
eso
Ir
entedi
t.
”
Me:“
Ihopeyoudi
dn’
tuseyourmoney.
”
Xoli
:“wel
lIki
ndadid.Idon’
thaveaccesst
oyour
moneyandIdon’twanttheaccess.
”Shespeaksso
fast
.
Me:“pl
easeremindmetoopenabankaccountfor
suchexpenses.
”Shenods.“
What
’syouraccount
numberandhowmuchmoneydi dyouuse?”she
answer
sandIquickl
ymakethetr
ansfer
.“Nextt
ime
pl
easeuseyourmoneyi
fit
’sanemergency.
”
Xol
i:“
yesboss.
”
Me:“l
etmej
ustappl
yforacar
dnowandwi
llcol
lect
i
ttomorr
ow.
”
Mabut
ho:“
bosswher
ear
egoi
ng?
”
Me:“j
ustdr
ivet
oRandbur
g.Iwil
ldi
rectyout
o
Lel
e’
shouseoncewegetther
e.”

Ilovethatthel adyIam meet ingi sclosertoLel e’

s
place.Icontinueappl yingf orthecar d.AfterIam
doneappl yi
ngf ori tIsitbackandj ustclosemy
eyes.Mymi nddr iftbackt ot heconver sationIhad
withKuhl eonFr iday.Kuhl eisdef ini
tel
yshi t
tingon
me.Her eal
lyt hinksIwi l
ljustagr eetobehi s
secondwi fewher easIhaven’ tevent houghtof
getti
ngmar riedeversi nceIst artedDCC.Royal
peoplereall
yt hinkt heyar eent it
ledorsomet hing.
Whi l
eIam t hinkingIj ustdr if
ttodeepsl umber .
‘
Khokho:“
hei
snear
.”
Me:“
whatar
eyout
alki
ngaboutKhokho?
”
Khokho:“
theyhavechosenhi
mforyou.Hei
s
coming.
”
Me:“canyoupleasestoptal
kinginri
ddl
es?Speak
i
nclearsent
ences.”Shechuckles.
Khokho:“youarejustl
ikeyourgr
eat
-gr
andf
ather
.
Foreveri
mpatient
.”
Me:“howcanInotbeimpat
ient
?Youaresupposed
t
owar nmeanddeli
vermessagesnotpr
over
bsand
r
iddl
es.”
…
Voi
ce:“Fut
hywakeup.
”’t
heper
sonshakesmehar
d
andIopenmyeyes.

Me:“
what
’sup?
”
Xol
i:“
wehavear
ri
vedi
nRandbur
g.”
Me:“ ohhokay.”Isi
tupanddi
rectMabutho.Weget
toLele’shouseat9am andheadinsi
de.Itl
ooks
cleanandt her
eisnodustmeaningmaybehehired
someonetocl eanhishouse.“Ineedtofinish
somethi
ngqui ckl
y.Youcanmakeyour selves
comfort
able.Youcanevenor derorcook.Youcan
al
sorestinanyoft heroomsdownst ai
rs.”

Iheadt omyr oom.Iplacemybagont hebed.It ake

offmycoat ,heelsandalsoplacethem i nthebed.I
takeoutmynot ebookandpencil.Ihaveadr awing
boar dwithastandandt r
acingpaperher e.Ialso
havet hatcomboathome, i
nMor ningside.Isi
tin
frontofthedeskandst artsket
chingwhatIhave
alreadystart
edonmynot ebook.Someoneknocks
ont hedoorwhi l
eIam halfwaythrought hesketch.

Me:“
comei
n.”Xol
ipeepsi
n.
Xol
i:“i
t’
s12:
30.Comeeatsothatwecanl
eave.
”For
met i
mestandsst
il
lwhenIam sket
chi
ng.
Me:“
thankyou.
”Shecl
osest
hedoor
.

Ist
andup,
putonmycoat
,heel
s,t
akemybagand
headdownst airs.Lel e’shousehas3bedr ooms
upstair
sand2bedr oomsdownst air
s.Igett othe
ki
tchenandf indt hese2eat ing.Xoligivesmef ood
andIal soeat.Wef inisheatingandt hendr i
vet ot
he
meetingvenue.Themeet ingisactuallyatthe
buil
dingIam i nt erestedi nbuying.Ayoungl ady
meetsusatt heent ranceandl eadsust othe
boardroom whi chi satt hegroundf loor.Wegetand
getsettled.2mi nut esl ateraladywhol ooksli
keshe
i
sinherear l
yf or t
iesget sinf ol
lowedbywhom I
suspecti sherassi stant.

Mrs.Coll
ins:“Mi
ssCele.
”Shesmi l
esandstr
etches
herhand.Istandupandshakeherhand,shealso
off
ersXoliahandshake.Shethensit
sdown.“CanI
off
eryousomet hi
ngtodrink?
”
Me:“
wat
eri
sfi
neMr
s.Col
li
ns.
”
Mrs.Col
li
ns:“pl
easecal
lmeGr
ace.
”Shesayswi
th
apoli
tesmil
e.
Me:“
canyoual
socal
lmeFut
hy?
”shechuckl
es.
Gr
ace:“
fai
renough.Soyouar
eint
erest
edi
nbuyi
ng
t
hisbui
ldi
ng?
”
Xol
i:“
yeswear
e.”
Gr
ace:“
howmuchar
eyouof
fer
ing?
”
Xol
i:“
nameyourpr
ice.
”
Gr
ace:“
okay.R6.
5mi
ll
ion.
”Myeyesnear
lypopout
.
Me:“
why?
”
Grace:“youst i
llhavetofurni
shi
t,changepaints,
renovateifyoul i
ke.Myl i
neofworkisnotpropert
y
soIdon’ tseeaneedf ormetochargetoomuchf or
abui l
ding.Iam alsohuman.Thepr evi
ousowner
alsosoldt hi
sbui l
dingtomeatanunbel i
evable
price.
”

Me:“wowokay.Youcansetupthepaperwor
kand
cont
ractandyoucanf
orwardi
ttomyl awyer
.”
Grace’
sPA:“ what
’sheremailaddr
ess?
”Iexhal
eout
l
oud.Isti
llcan’
tbeli
evethi
s.
Grace:“youbet
terbel
ievei
tFut
hy.Thi
sist
he
chapterIwannacloseinmyli
feri
ghtnow.
”She
pr
onouncesmynamel
ikeFoot
ea.Ichuckl
e.
Me:“i
t’
sadvnbi
yel
a1@gmai
l.
com”t
hePAj
otsi
t
down.
Grace:“
Iguessthatconcl
udesourmeeti
ng.Shewi
ll
sendthecontr
actassoonaspossibl
e.Youwill
recei
vetheti
tl
edeedaftert
hepaymenthasbeen
made.Itwasnicedoingbusi
nesswit
hyouMs.
FuthyandMs.X.”shestandsupandweexchange
handshakes.
Me:“
itwasapl
easur
emeetingyouGr
ace.Ihopewe
canworkt
oget
heri
nthef
uture.
”
Grace:“metoo.Pl
easedoinvi
temewhenyou
fi
nall
ylaunchthi
sbranch.
”
Me:“youwil
lbethef
irstonetorecei
vet
heinvi
te.
”
Shesmilesandweallheadout.Wegettot
hecar.
“Di
dyouguysbuygroceries?
”

Xol
i:“
no.weonl
yboughtt
akeout
.”
Me:“Mabuthodri
vetoNort
hgat
e.Wewil
lbuyf
ood
t
here.Andalsoonebot
tl
eofchampagnet
o
cel
ebr
atej
ustf
orcont
rol
.”Xol
igi
ggl
es.
Xoli
:“Gr
aceisgenerous.Li
keIwasexpect i
ngherto
sayR13mi l
li
on.That’
swheremostoft hebuildi
ngs
Ihaveseenrangeat,somerangehigher.R6.5
mil
li
on,that
’stheval
ueofyourparents’house.”

Me:“
Iknowri
ght
.Iam st
il
lshocked.If
eell
iket
hisi
s
someki
ndofaprank.
”
Xoli
:“youwerej
ustl
uckyboss.Youshoul
dthank
yourancest
ors.
”
Me:“def
init
ely.Theydeserveaf
atgoat
.”Theyboth
l
augh.Ireal
lyneedt oappeasemyancest
orsbefor
e
Iopenboththesebuildi
ngs.

Wegettothemal landgetinsi
de.Weshopf or
gr
oceryandthenheadt otherestaur
anttograba
bi
te.WeenterandIseeamanwhoi sabouttoexi
t.
Hi
seyesareonhi sphone, hedoesn’
tseewherehe
i
sgoing.Ij
uststandandwhenhei sabouttopass
meItaphisshoulder.Hejustsayssorr
yand
conti
nuewalki
ng.Ichuckle.“
Dr.Hl
ongwa!
”he
rai
seshisheadandturns.Hejustl
aughswhenhi
s
eyeslandonme.

Hlongwa:“
Myfavour
it
est
udent
.”Hecomesand
hugsme.“Longt
imenosee.
”
Me:“youalsowouldn’thaveseenmei
fIdi
dn’
tcal
l
outyourname.”helaughsagain.
Hlongwa:“
stopbei
ngdramat
ic.Howaboutyou
i
ntroducemetoyourf
ri
ends?
”hesayslooki
ng
behindme.
Me:“
aren’
tyoui
nahur
ry?
”
Hl
ongwa:“
foryouIcanspar
e5mi
nut
es.
”
Me:“ l
et’
ssitdownt hen.
”Awai terl
eadsustoa
tabl
eoff our.Wepl aceouror dersandDr.Hl
ongwa
onlyordersjuice.“Thisi
sNomxol i
simyassi
stant
andMabut homybodyguar d.Andguysthisi
s
ProfessorLethukuthulaHlongwa, myfor
mer
l
ecturerandempl oyer.
”
Xol
i:“
youhi
redyourownst
udent
?”
Hlongwa:“shehadsomuchpotent
ial
.Icoul
dn’
t
misstheopportuni
tyoft
aki
ngherundermywing
andment ori
ngher.
”

Mabutho:“
howdi dyouf
eelwhenshesai
dshe
want
edt ostar
therowncompany?”
Hlongwa:“shei
slikeachi
ldt
ome.Sot omei tfel
t
l
ikemychi l
disaskingf
orablessi
ngt opursueher
dreams.Igaveherthebl
essi
ngwhol eheart
edl y
becauseasmuchasshewasdoi nggreatthingsin
mycompany, Iknewshewasdest i
nedf orgreater
thi
ngs.”

Xol
i:“
you’
resoki
nd.
”Hebl
ushesandl
ooksdown.
Hlongwa:“Itr
y.Sohowl
ongar
eyougoi
ngt
obe
hereinJozi?
”
Me:“
why?
”hel
aughs.
Hlongwa:“
theyarehostingacelebr
ator
ydi nnerto
honormeatWi tsonFridaysoifyou’
resti
llhere,
no
youaredefi
nit
elycoming.”Il
aughbecauset hat’
s
anorder.“Ishoul
dalsoflauntmyment
eei
nfr
ontof
thosehaters.
”Wealllaugh.

Me:“
Iwi
llt
ry.
”
Hlongwa:“ nodon’
ttry,
bether
e.Iwil
lal
sotel
lmy
wifethatIsawyou.”Hisphonebeeps.“
Seeyouon
Fri
dayni ght.
”Hekissesmycheekandthenheads
out.

Mabut ho:“
Ihaveheardaboutt hisguyandIhave
seenhi minmagazinesandnewspaper s.Ithought
hewasser iousandallstr
ict.Guessyour eall
y
shouldn’tj
udgeabookbyi t
scover.”Ourfood
arr
ivesandwest ar
teating.
Xol
i:“
soar
eyougoi
ngt
othedi
nner
?”
Me:“youwannaseeWits?
”shesmi
lesandnods.
“Weareleavi
ngtomor
rowbutwewi
llcomebackon
Fri
daymidday.”

Wef
ini
sheat
ing,
Iset
tl
ethebi
llandt
henwehead
backtoLele’
shouse.It akeashowerandj ustwear
ashortsummerdr ess.Isiti
ntheloungewat chi
ng
TV.Xolicomesi nandt ell
smet hatIhaveavi si
tor
.
Avisit
or?InJozi ?Yohnewst ravel
sfast.Itel
lherto
sendtheguesti n.shedisappearsandcomeback
wit
hSandi l
e.Ijustlaughandst andup.Imeethi m
half
wayandweshar eahugandaki ss.Hesits
downandpul lsmet ositontopofhim.

Me:“ don’tcrytomewhenyoust andupanddon’t

feelyourjointsbecauseIam heavy.
”Hel aughsand
plantskissesinmyneck.Ijustgiggle.“
Howdi dyou
knowt hatIwasi nJozi?”

Sandi
le:“
Ifel
tit
.”Ir
ollmyeyes.
Me:“
youst
alkedme.
”
Sandi
le:“
what
evert
hatmakesyousl
eepwel
lat
ni
ght.
”
Me:“you’
rebr
ave.Whati
fyouf
oundmewi
th
anot
hermanhere?”
Sandil
e:“
Iwoul
d’vej
oinedyouforathr
eesome.
”I
l
aughandburymyheadi nhisshoul
der.“
Iam
taki
ngyououtf
ordinnertoni
ght
.”
Me:“youfinall
ygett
hedinnerdateyouhavebeen
l
ongingfor.”Hechuckl
es.“Let’
sgochil
linmy
room.”weheadt her
e,hesitsonthebed.Iseet
he
sket
ches,Iquickl
ywrapthem andputthem onthe
stor
agetube.
Sandi
le:“
youar
eevenwor
kingher
e?”
Me:“resti
sfort
hedead.Myancest
orswork
over
ti
meandt heyal
waysgivemeideas.
”
Sandi
le:“
comeher
e.”

Igoandsitont opofhi m.Hel eansinforthekiss,

ourli
psli
ngerforaf ewseconds, andthenIopen
mymout handaccepthi st ongue.Theki ssisso
deepandpassionat e.Iam weakenedbyi t
.I
squeezehimtightasourt onguesdancebackand
for
th,andIcanf eelhisdickgr owing,Iam sowet
ri
ghtnow.Ibreakt hekissandpushhi mt oli
eonthe
bed.
Itakeof fmydr essandthelookonhi sfaceis
exactlywhatIwashopi ngf or
.Itakehisonehandi n
mi neandmovei tuptocovermyonebr east
.My
nippleishar dasstoneandbeggi ngforanytouch
ri
ghtnow.Igr i
ndmyhi psintohiserecti
onand
moan, itfeelssogood.Hei swear i
ngsweatpantsso
Ijustpullthem downandt heysli
dedownhi slegs.
Het akesof fhi
st -
shi
rtt
oo.Hisupperbodyi s
coveredi ntatt
oos.Tatt
oosar eaturnoffbuthisare
sohot .

Hesi tsupandt akeonebr eastandstartssucki

ngi t
.
Imoanl oudandgrindhar deronhiserecti
on.He
switchesont otheotherbr east
.OhhGod, the
pleasureIam feeli
ngrightnowi sonanot herl
evel.I
j
ustt akehisdickandputi tinsi
deme, thewayitfil
ls
meup, DearGodIseet heheavensopeni ng.After2
roundswef i
nall
ylayont hebedt r
yingtocatchour
breaths.
Sandi
le:“
andher
eIt
houghtIwasgoi
ngt
owai
tfor
youunti
lyou’
rer
eadyf
orust
obei
nti
mat
e.”I
chuckl
e.

Me:“Iam notyour90-
day-rul
egi
rlor5dat
esbef
ore
sexkindagi
rl.
”Hechuckles.
Sandi
le:“
wel
lIknowt
hatnow.
”Isi
tup.
Me:“let’
sgot akeashowerandyouleavesothatI
canpr epar
ef ort
hedate.
”Wegoshowerandhave
anotherround.Weseem tobeaddict
edtoeach
other.Wef i
nishshoweri
ng,
hegetsdressedand
thenleaves.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
07:
54] :CHAPTER17
SinceIdon’ thaveanappr opri
atedressIwearmy
dressagai nandaskMabut hotodriveme
Nol ut
handoNt ul
i’
sboutique.Wel eaveXolii
nt he
house, cooking.Wearrivet her
eandwegetl ucky
becausewef i
ndhertalkingtoacust omer.She
fi
nishest heconversati
onandcomest oour
di
r ect
ion.Shei smuchmor ebeauti
fuli
npersonand
herstyleissosophi st
icat ed.

Noluh:“wel
comet
oNol
uh’
sbout
ique.HowmayIbe
ofassist
ance?
”
Me:“Iam FuthyCel
e.Iam superexci
tedt
obe
hel
pedbyt heowner.
”Shechuckles.
Nol
uh:“
wel
lwhatdoyouneed?
”
Me:“af
uckbuddyofmineist
akingmeoutona
dat
eandIdon’
thaveanyt
hingtowear
.”Shel
aughs.
Nol
uh:“
youhavecometother
ightpl
ace.Pl
ease
f
oll
owme.”If
oll
owherandshegetstothepl
ussize
sect
ion.Iam amazed.Thedr
essesar
esobeaut
if
ul,
el
egant,sexyandstyl
ish.
Me:“wow.Iam soi
mpressed.Il
it
eral
lyl
ove
ever
ythi
ngher
e.WhatdoyousuggestItake?”
Nol
uh:“
youwantadr
essorpant
s?”
Me:“adr
esswilldo.
”Shepicksasequi
nsmermai
d
eveni
ngdresswit
hshortsl
eevesandtur
nst
olook
atmewithasmi l
eonherface.
Nol
uh:“
whatdoyout
hink?
”
Me:“Ial
readyfeell
ikeapr
incessbef
oreIevenputi
t
on.
”Shel aughs.
Noluh:“wel
lthefi
tt
ingroom i
sthr
ought
hatdoor.I
wil
lbringyoumatchingheel
sandjewel
ry.What
’s
yourshoesize?”

Me:“5.”Shehandsmet hedressandIgot othe

fi
tt
ingroom.Shecomeswi thblackdiamant e
embell
ishedstr
appedstil
ett
oheels,Ithankherand
cl
osethedoor.Ifi
rstweartheshoes,they
complementmyt oes,sobeauti
ful
,andIt henputon
thedress.FuckIl
ooklikeagoddess.Itwir
landdo
a360andont hemirr
or.Sandile’
sjawswil
ldropt
o
thefl
oor.Icomeoutoft hefit
ti
ngroom andNoluh
andMabut hoclaphandsf orme.

Mabut
ho:“
bossladyareyousur
eyou’
renotgoi
ng
t
otheawar
ds?”Ilaugh.
Noluh:“
youl
ookreallybeaut
if
ul.Theseear
ri
ngs
andpursewi
lldefi
nit
elymatch.
”Shehandst he
thi
ngstoMabutho.
Me:“ l
emmequi ckl
ychange.”Igobackt ot
hef i
tti
ng,
changebacktomydr essandthengetout.“Noluh
thankyousomuchf orhelpi
ngme.Ialsowanta
dressforFr
idaynight.Ihavebeeni
nvitedtoa
dinnerinWi
ts.”
Noluh:“Iknowyourbodytypeandyoursi zeand
shoesize.Leaveyouraddressatthet
il
l.Iwil
l
choosef oryouandhavetheitemsdel
iveredtoyour
house.Youwi llpayondel
iver
y.”
Me:“thankyousomuch.”Igotot
het
il
l,
payfort
he
cl
othes,leavemyaddr
essther
eandMabut
hoandI
headout.

Wegett othehouse.It akeashowerandt hensitin

frontofthetable.Icombmyhai r,ti
eitintoaneat
bunt henputanar t
if
icialafrobun.Idomymake- up
andt hengetdressed.Iam goi ngtoadi nnerin
publicwithacel ebri
ty.SoIhavet odresst hepart.
Byt hewayIl ooksobeaut if
ulandIf eelbeautif
ul.I
takemyphoneandt akeaf ewsel f
ies.Ithendoa
conf er
encevideocal lwi t
hmyf r
iends.Theybot h
scream outloudwhent heyanswert hecal l
.

Noma:“
bitchyoudidn’
ttel
lmeyou’
regoi
ngt
oan
awar
dceremony.”
Lee:“minaIevenl
ivewit
hherbutshedidn’
ttel
lme
thatsheisatt
endi
ngtheseawar
ds.”Il
aughatthem.
Me:“
Iam goi
ngonadat
ewi
thSandi
le.
”
Noma:“
whyar
edr
essedupt
hismuch?
”
Me:“
bit
chIfeelof
fendedr
ightnow.Don’
tIal
ways
dr
essup?”
Lee:“t
hisi
sanewdress.Ihaveneverseeni
tbefor
e.
Youareweari
nganewdr essforSandi
le.Am It
he
onlyoneseei
ngt
his?
”
Noma:“you’
renot
.It
hinkthisguyhascomet
otake
ourst
ri
kerofft
hegame.”Ilaugh.
Me:“youguysarecrazy.Anywayshi
sdickgame
bahl
ali
,Imightkeephim ar
oundforawhil
e.”Il
ick
myli
ps.

Lee:“
shutt
hefrontdoor
.Yougavehi
mthecooki
e
befor
ethedat
e?”
Me:“
kant
iwhoam Int
ombazane?
”shel
aughs.
Noma:“
youactli
keaguysomet
imes.Howmany
r
oundsdidyougi
vehi
m? ”
Me:“
Jesuswokeupaf
terhowmanydays?
”
Lee:“
youneedat
rophygi
rl
.”
Noma:“
for
gett
het
rophy,
sheneedsacr
own.
”Xol
i
ent
ersmyr
oom.

Xol
i:“
bossl
adyyourdat
eishere.
”It
urnandl
ookat
her
.“OMG!Youl
ookstunni
ng.”
Me:“thankyou.Iwil
lchatwit
hyoulat
erguys.”I
hangup.Itakemypur seandheaddownstair
s.
Sandil
eischatti
ngwithMabutho.Myheelsdist
urb
thei
rconversat
ionsotheytur
nandstareatme.
Sandil
eclearshist
hroat
.

Mabutho:“youl
ookbeaut
if
ulbosslady.Youar
e
goi
ngtomakeourgirlf
ri
endsjeal
ousforbei
ngwit
h
you24/7.”
Xol
i:“
whi
chgi
rl
fr
iends?
”shesaysbehi
ndmeandI
l
augh.
Sandi
le:“
youl
ookbeaut
if
ulmyl
ady.
”Ismi
leandgo
tohi
m.
Me:“seeyouaft
erhour
ski
ds.Behave.
”Mabut
ho
andXolibot
hlaugh.
Mabut
ho:“
youhavebodyguar
dsNt
uli
?”
Sandi
le:“yesandadr
iver
.Don’
twor
ryshei
ssaf
e
wit
hMe. ”henodsandweheadout.

Heisridi
ngawhi t
eRangeRover
SVAUTOBI OGRAPHYDynami cLWB.Whata
machine.Heopenst hebackdoorformeandI
cl
imbin.heal sogetintheotherdoorandthecar
dri
vesout.Therear etwogentl
emenatt hefr
ont.I
guessit’
sthedriverandtheguard.Hetakesmy
handandki ssesit.Ij
ustl
ookathim andsmile.

WhenIf i
nall
ydeci detoendwhat everthatis
happeningbet weenusIcanal readyf oreseedrama.
Wegett other estaurantandweheadi nside.Peopl
e
arealreadyst arri
ngatuswhenwewal kin,
remindingmeoft her easonswhyIdon’ tassociat
e
withcelebrit
iessomet imes.Thewai terleadsust o
ourtable,wesi tandshel eavesaf t
ertakingour
orders.

Sandi
le:“
your
eal
lyl
ookst
unni
ngNombedu,
Khumbuza,Magaye.
”YohIbl
ushl
ikecr
azy.When
someonesaysmyclannameguysyouknowthe
stor
ymann.
Me:“Iam pr
ett
ysur
eyougoogl
edt
hem onourway
her
e.”
Sandi
le:“Iam aZuluman,gi
vemesomecr
edi
t
pl
ease.”Iint
ernal
lyrol
lmyeyes.
Me:“whenwasthel
astti
meyouwerei
na
r
elat
ionshi
pandwhathappened?
”
Sandi
le:“
3monthsago.Shecheat
ed,
gotpr
egnant
andtr
iedtopi
nthepregnancyonme.
”
Me:“
damnt
hat
’scr
uel
.”

Sandi l
e:“
iti
sar eali
ty.”Heshr
ugs.Hethen
scratcheshishead.“ Wedidn’
tusepr
otect
ionear
li
er
on.”Ilaughint
ernall
y, shamehewashopinghe
scoresont hi
sfirstt
ry.
Me:“don’
tgetexcit
edbr o.IhaveanIUDwhi ch
st
andsforIntr
auter
ineDevi ce.Iwon’
ttel
lyouwhat
i
tisorwhatitdoes.Ifyouwannaknowabouti tt
hen
youwi
llhavet
odor
esear
ch.
”Hesi
ghs.

Sandi
le:“
Iwoul
dn’
thavemi
ndedi
fyouwer
e
car
ryi
ngmychild.
”
Me:“t
oosoonmfethu.
”Ourf
oodarr
ivesandwe
st
artdi
ggi
ngin.“
Soyougrewuphere?”
Sandile:“no.myf amilyisori
ginal
lyfrom Esikhawi
ni.
Somest ayinMzi ngazi.Wemovedher ewhenour
fatherwant edtogrowhi slabelbutitallst
artedi
n
Esikhawi ni
.”Inod.“Mom isf r
om KwaHl abi
sa
though.Shecamet ostudyatuMf oloziColl
agein
theEsikhawi niCampusandshemetdad.Dadwas
arapperandapr oducerbackt hen.”Ichuckleabit.

Ihaveseent hei
rfatheronsomeoccasi onsbefore
hediedandhewasn’ tthetypeofmanwhowoul d
j
ustrap.Hehasanaur aaroundhi mt hat
commandedr espect.Whenhest ar
tedhi slabel
,he
neverproducedasongwher ehewast heone
rappi
ng.Iguessashegr ewup, hedidn’twanttobe
astaranymor ebutwant edtohelpbui l
dstars.
Me:“
whocoul
dhavet
hought
?”
Sandil
e:“hewasamyst
eryashegr
ewol
der
.What
aboutyourfami
ly?
”
Me:“wehaveahomei nNdwedwewhereour
grandparent
sli
ve.I
t’
swheredadgrewup.Igr
ewup
atMor ni
ngsi
dewithmy4sibli
ngs,
2gir
lsand2
boys.”
Sandi
le:“
howi syourrel
ati
onshi
pwi
thyour
si
ster
s?”Ifakeasmile.
Me:“
wegetal
ong.
”
Sandil
e:“Ihardl
yseeyoupost i
ngthem orpictures
ofyouguyst ogether.Youalwayspostyourf r
iends.
Don’tt
heyl i
kebeingpost edbythei
rsuccessful
si
steronhersoci almedia?”Ideci
detoshiftthe
att
enti
ont ohim havingknowledgeofwhoIpost
anddon’tpostonmyaccount s.

Me:“
areyouani
nter
netst
alker
?”
Sandi
le:“
who?Me?No!Iam j
ustkeepi
ngupwi
th
thewomanIl
ove.
”fuckhel
ovesme.That
’snot
good.
Me:“
yeahri
ght
.”Ir
ollmyeyesandt
akeasi
patmy
whi
tewine.

Sandil
e:“atwhatageareyouplanni
ngongett
ing
marri
ed?”Iam real
lystar
ti
ngtohatethemar
ri
age
topi
c.Fir
stitwasKuhle,nowhim.
Me:“notanyti
mesoon.Iam ont hever geof
expandingmycompany.Iam pl anningontaki
ng
overMzansisomar ri
ageisthelastthi
ngonmy
mindrightnow.”Hisf
acialexpr
essionchanges.He
i
ssomehowhur tbymyr esponse.Hewi l
lbestr
ong.
“Whenar eyouplanni
ngonget t
ingmar ri
ed?
”

Sandi
le:“
whentheloveofmyl
if
efi
nishest
aki
ng
overt
heworld.
”Il
aughathim.
Me:“
Ihavehadenoughmar
ri
aget
alkt
hesedays.
CanIj
ustrestt
uh?
”
Sandi
le:“
didsomeonepr
oposet
oyou?
”heasksso
f
astbef
orehecanevenst
ophi
msel
f.
Me:“
maybe,
maybenot
.”

Themoodar oundt hetabl

ebecomest ensebutaf t
er
af ewdr i
nksi tchangesbackt onormal .Theli
ve
bandi splayingsoot hi
ngjazz.Theat mosphereand
thevibei nther estauranti
ssochi ll
edandni ce.
Therear e3coupl esslowdanci ngatthedancef loor.
Sandilelooksatt hem andthenl ooksatmewi t
h
pleadingeyes.No, Iam notaboutt odancewi thhim
i
npubl i
c.Iam notaboutt ohaveanot herMvelo
saga.Hest andsupandext endshi shand.Hei s
drawingat t
ent i
ont omer i
ghtnow.

Me:“
Ihat
eyousomuch.
”Hechuckl
es.
Sandi
le:“
MissCel
emayIhavet
hisdance?
”
Me:“
no.
”
Sandi
le:“
youwantmet
okneeli
nfrontofyouand
gi
vepeoplethewr
ongi
mpressi
on?
”Icurseunder
mybreath.
Me:“
what
everSandi
le.
”

Istandupandputmyhandi nhi s.Hel eadsmet o

thedancef l
oorandwest ar
tmovi ngsl owlytot he
musi c.Wedanceslowl ywhileholdingeachot her.I
wishIcouldsayt hi
sf eel
sheavenl yandmagi calbut
I’
dbel yi
ng.Itdoesfeelgoodt houghandcomf orti
ng.
Wef inal
lystopdancing.Wegobackt othet able
andheset tl
esthebill
.Wel eavether estaurant.He
dri
vesmebackhomeandwal ksmet ot hedoor .

Sandil
e:“canIcompl ementyouforthel
astti
me
toni
ght?”Ichuckleandnod.“Youlookabsol
utel
y
radi
antMi ssCeleandthankyouforagreei
ngtogo
outwit
hme. ”
Me:“i
twasmypl easureandIenj
oyedtonight
.”He
pul
lsmeclosert
ohi m andweshareakiss.
Sandi
le:“
goodni
ght
.”
Me:“nightMr.Ntul
i.
”Igeti
nsi
det
hehouseandI
hearthecardri
vingout.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
07:
54] :CHAPTER18

Iam si
tti
nginmyof fi
ce,i
t’
saWednesdaymor ning,
whenIsuddenlyfeell
ikegoingtoasit
eand
checki
ngoutthewor koftheconst
ructi
onwor kers.I
al
waysgot osit
eeveryoncei nawhil
ebutIar ri
ve
unexpect
edl
y.Idecideonwhi chsi
tetovisi
tandI
j
usttakemyphoneandwal l
etandthenheadout .

Thobeka:“
bossl
adywher
ear
ewegoi
ng?
”
Me:“
tot
heNandamal
lsi
te.Iwannacheckont
he
pr
ogr
essoft
hewor
ker
s.”
Thobeka:“
ohhokay.
”

Weheadoutandwedr i
vet ot
hesite.Whenweget
ther
ewegetoutoft hecar .Wearehandedsaf et
y
hatsandjacket
s.Wegot othesit
emanager ’
soffi
ce
andalongthewayIseeaf ewnewf aces.Iknowall
myempl oyees,wheneverHRhi r
essomeonet hey
comet omyof f
icetoint
roducethatper son.
AnywaysIgettot hesit
emanager ’
sof ficeandheis
shockedtoseeme.

Me:“morni
ngSiyanda.Youl
ookshockedt
osee
me.”Igr
eetwi
thasmi le.
Siyanda:“
Iam notshockedbossl
ady,
Iam j
ust
surpri
sed.
”
Me:“youar
esurpri
sedoryoudi
dn’
tgett
imet
ohi
de
youroff
spr
ing’
s?”
Siyanda:“
Idon’
tknowwhatyouar
etal
kingabout
bosslady.
”
Me:“Iam notaf oolSiyanda.Iknoweveryonewho
workforDCC, evencleaners,sodon’tbul
lshi
tme.
Sowhatel sehasbeenhappeni ngundermynose?
Wheredidyougett hemoneyt opayyour
employees?”Isitdownopposi tehi
m.
Si
yanda:“
Iam sor
ryboss.
”
Me:“
youar
esor
ryf
orwhat
?Il
legal
lyhi
ri
ngpeopl
e?”
Siyanda:“t
heyarequal
if
iedboss.Ij
ustdidn’
tfol
l
ow
procedureinhi
ri
ngthem.Wewer eshortstaf
fed
and…”
Me:“ whodi dyout el
lthatwewer eshortstaf
fed?
Wehaveabout60const r
ucti
onwor kersandwe
alwayshi r
eaf ewwhent heproj ectishuge.Why
didn’tyouinform HRoryourpr ojectmanagerthat
youdon’ thaveenoughwor kers?Whydi dyoutakea
decisionthatisnotmeantt obet akenbyyou?Why
areyouunder mini
ngmyaut hority?Youwantmet o
fi
reyou? ”

Si
yanda:“
no,
Iam ver
ysor
ryboss.
”
Me:“Idon’twannaseet hoseguysinmysi te.I
fI
fi
ndoutt hatyouarerel
atedt ot
hem ortheyareyour
fr
iendsalsoconsideryourselff
ir
ed.Youarealso
demot edwithimmediateeffect
.Nowgett owork.
”
Hest andsuphesitant
lyandheadsout .It
akeout
myphoneandcal lZah.

Zah:“
bossl
ady.
”
Me:“t
elltheNandamallproj
ectmanagertoassi
gn
anewsi temanagerf
orthi
sprojecti
mmediatel
y.
Theotheronewasbullshi
ti
ngmeandpr acti
cal
ly
under
mi ningme.
”
Zah:“
ohhokay.
”
Me:“alsotellHRt
osendhi
m awr i
tt
enwarningby
theendoft odayf
orhi
ri
ngpeopl
ewi t
houtt
heright
procedure.
”
Zah:“
howdi
dthathappen?
”
Me:“
Ial
sodon’
tknow.Wewi
llt
alkwhenIgetback
t
otheof
fi
ce.
”
Zah:“
okayboss.
”Ihangupandbr
eat
heoutl
oud.
Ithenstandupandheadout .Igett owher e
ThobekaandMabut hoar eandweal lheadtothe
car.Wear eri
dingi
nonecart oday.If eelminorpai
n
i
nmyl owerabdomen.Ij ustclenchmyj awsand
praythatitgoesaway.Itsubsi desafterafew
minutesandIdobr eathi
ngexer ci
ses.

Me:“
Zamokuhlewear
enowheadedt
o
Mandl
anzi
ni.
”
Zamokuhl
e:“
sur
eboss.Ar
eyouokay?
”
Me:“
don’
tworryaboutme.Iwi
llbef
ine.
”Henods
andt
henstar
tstheengi
ne.

Aft
erabout2hour swear r
iveatMandl anzini
.We
headtothesiteandwear egivent hesafet
ygear.At
l
easttherearenonewf acesher e.Igoaround
i
nspecti
ngt hehouse.WhenIam doneIgot othe
cont
ainernearthegatewheret hesitemanagerisat.
Assoonassheseesmeshest andsupwi thasmi l
e
onherface.Thati
swhatIwantt
oseewhenIgett
o
asit
e,t
hemanagersmili
ngandgreet
ingmewit
ha
happyf
ace.

Ret
habil
e:“
bosslady.Soniceofyoutostopby.To
whatdoweowet hepleasureoft
hissur
prisevi
sit
?”
Isi
tonthechai
roppositeher.
Me:“Ij
ustwant
edtoseeprogr
ess.I
fyouwer
et o
est
imate,
howlongwil
litt
akeyouguyst
ofi
nishthi
s
house?
”
Rethabi
le:“
about4mont
hsandthenwewillst
art
theNongomahouse.Wewil
llast
lybui
ldt
hesecret
house.”
Me:“I
fyouneedanyhel
ppl
easedon’
thesi
tat
eto
cal
l.
”
Ret
habi
le:“
sur
eboss.Haveyoul
ookedar
ound?
”
Me:“
yes.Iwi
llbeonmywayt
hen.
”
Ret
habil
e:“
youcameallt
hewayf
rom Dur
banj
ust
t
oinspect
?”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“
it
’smycompany,
myr
eput
ati
onsoyoushoul
d
under
stand.
”Shechuckl
es.
Ret
habil
e:“
yeah.Letmeseeyououtt hen.
”Webot
h
st
andupandheadout .Whi l
ewearewalki
ngto
wheret
heotherwor kersare,wemeettheZul
u
br
other
s.Great
,justgreat.

Kuhle:“
Gooddaymakhosazane.”Irol
lmyeyesand
Rethabi
ler
epli
eswithasmi l
eonherface.Sheis
for
eversmil
ing,Iwonderi
fshedoesn’
tgetti
redofi
t.
Sbo:“
Fut
hy,
youdi
dn’
ttel
lusyouwer
ear
ound.
”
Me:“itwasal astminutedecisi
ontocomeher e.
PlusIdidn’tannouncei tbecauseIknewIwasn’ t
stayi
ngf orlongerthanIhavet o.
”thepainsthatI
hadinthecarcomesbackandIqui ckl
yhold
Rethabi
le’shandt i
ghtly.Sheturnsandlooksatme.
Ret
habi
le:“
bossladyareyouokay?”Icl
enchmy
j
awsandbreatheslowl
y.Thepaingoesawayagai
n
andIgi
veherafakesmile.
Me:“
Iam f
ine.Ij
ustf
eltacr
amp.
”
Kuhl
e:“
maybeyouneedt
oseeadoct
or.
”
Me:“don’texagger
ateKuhle.Iam superfine.Let
’s
carr
yonwi thourjour
neyRet ha.
”Shegi vesmea
concernedlookandweheadt owherethewor kers
areat.“Gooddayguys.”Theyallgreetbackand
someevenshakemyhand.

Rethabi
le:“wewer everyblessedtobegracedby
bosslady’spresencetoday.Shejustcametosayhi
andshei sleavi
ngnow. ”Theyallsaythei
rgoodbyes
andRethaescor tsmet othecar.“I
twasniceseeing
you.”

Me:“ samehere.Whenyoucomebackt oDur ban,

hitmeupsot hatwecanhavedi nnertoget
her .
”We
hugeachot herandIclimbi nsi
det hecar.Thepai ns
comebackst rongerandr apidl
yt hi
stimear ound.I
scream ali
tt
leandMabut hoqui cklycomest omy
si
deandopensmydoor .Hehol dsmyhand.I
squeezehishandf ordearlifehopingthatthepain
goesawaybuti tdoesn’tbudget histi
mear ound.
Mabutho:“bossladyar
eyouokay?
”Iseet
heZul
u
br
othersapproachingt
hecar
.
Kuhl
e:“i
sever
ythi
ngokay?
”Ishakemyheadwi
th
t
earsthr
eat
eni
ngtocomeout.
Me:“
pai
nsBut
ho.I
thurtssomuch.Pl
easemakei t
st
op.
”Tear
sst
artr
oll
ingdownmycheeks.Hegets
i
nnextt
omeandThobekagetsi
nthefrontseat
.
Mabut ho:“mandrivetothehospit
al.
”Zamokuhle
start
st hecaranddrivesoffinhi
ghspeed.Wearri
ve
atTheBayHospi tal,Netcar
einashortperi
odof
ti
me.“ Youaregoingt obeokayboss.”Zamokuhl
e
stopsthecarandbot hheandBut hohelpmeoutof
thecar.

Zamokuhle:“youarebleedi
ng.”Iturntostareatt
he
seatIwasatandmyhear tnearl
yst ops.Ihavea
phobiaofblood.Seei
ngal otofitcanmakeme
passout.
Me:“
OhGod.
”
Theyquickl
ygetmeinsidethehospit
alandIam
takentoaward.Thenurseshelpmechangeintoa
hospit
algown.Theymakemel ieonthebedand
theyputupadrip.Adoctorcomesin.

Doct
or:“
whatdowehaveher
e?”
Nurse1:“shewasbroughti
nhereafewmi nut
es
ago.Sheisbleedi
ng,
wesuspectuter
usbleedi
ng.
”
Thedoctornodsandcomest ost
andnexttome.
Doct
or:“Goodeveni
ng.Iam doct
orMwapeandyou
ar
e?”Isnif
f.
Me:“Iam i
npai
n.Pl
easemakei
tstop.Butwhatever
youdo,don’
tdr
awmyblood.
”Ipassoutaft
erthat.
.
.
.
*
**NARRATED*
**
Mabut
howaspaci
ngupanddowni nthewait
ing
r
oom.Hewasworr
iedabouthi
sboss.Eversi
ncehe
start
edwor ki
ngforher, shehasnevercri
ed.Seeing
herli
kethatwasl i
kesomeonepunchedhi mi nthe
gut.Thobekawassi t
ti
ngdownandnextt ohim was
Zamokuhle.Eachandever yoneofthem wasi n
thei
rownwor ld.Butonet hingi
ncommon, they
werewor r
iedaboutFut hy.Shehaswelcomedt hem
i
nherhomeandhast reatedthem l
ikefr
iendsnot
employees.Sotheywer efondofher.

TheZul ubrothersmadet hei

rwayinandmostof
thehospitalbowedt heirheadsast heypassed.
Theymadet heirwayt othewait
ingr oom where
Futhy’
sguar dswer e.AfterZamokuhl edr
oveoffli
ke
that
,theywer eworr i
edsot heyfol
lowedthem here.

Kuhl
e:“
whathappened?
”Thobekal
ookedup.
Thobeka:“
shestart
edf eel
ingpainwhilewewer e
sti
lli
nDurbanbutshebr usheditof
f.Wer eal
lydon’
t
knowwhathappenedorwhatcausedt hepai
n.
Whenwebr oughtherin,shewasbl eeding
excessi
vel
y.”Kuhl
esighedandsatdown.Mabut ho
stoppedpacingandl
eanedhisbackont
hewal
l.Hi
s
phoneringedandhesighedwhenhesawwhowas
call
ing.

Mabut
ho:“
li
tt
leone.
”
Xol
i:“
whereareyouguys?Youwer
esupposedt
obe
her
elikeanhourago.
”
Mabut
ho:“
wear
einRi
char
dsBay.Fut
hyhasbeen
admi
tt
ed.
”
Xol
i:“
Richar
dsBay?Admit
ted?Whatisgoi
ngon
But
ho?”sheaskedwi
thhervoicebr
eaki
ng.
Mabut ho:“
shewasfeel
ingpainandshebled.We
don’tknowwhatcausedit.Wearestil
lwai
ti
ngfor
thedoctorstoupdat
eus.”Xol
ijusthungupand
snif
fed.
.
.
Leecamebackfrom workandsawXolisni
ff
ingon
thecouch.Sher
ushedtoherandsatnextt
oher.
Lee:“what
’swrongli
tt
leone?”t
hat’
sherni
ckname
becausesheistheyoungesti
nthehouse.
Xoli
:“Futhyisatt
hehospital
.Shewasadmi t
ted.
Buthosaidshewasf eeli
ngpainandbled.
”Lee’
s
heartnearl
ystopped,notbel
ievi
ngwhatwasbeing
sai
dt oher.
Lee:“
whatar
eyousayi
ngt
ome?Whathospi
tali
s
sheat?”
Xol
i:“
inRi
char
dsBay.
”
Lee:“
whatwasshedoi
ngi
nRi
char
dsBay?
”
Xol
i:“
Idon’
tknow.
”
Lee:“
whatcausedt
hebl
eedi
ng?
”
Xol
i:“
thedoct
orshaven’
tupdatedthem.
”Leest
ood
upandtookoutherphone.Shedial
edanumber.

Voi
ce:“
Lindel
wa.
”
Lee:“Sawubonababa.Futhyhasbeenadmit
tedi
na
hospitalatRi
chardsBay.Theysayshewasf
eeli
ng
painandshebl ed.”
Ndosiomkhul
u:“
howi
sshenow?
”
Lee:“
wedon’
tknow.
”
Ndosiomkhul
u:“
okay.Iam headi
ngt
her
enow.
”
Lee:“
Iam al
socomi
ngwi
thyoubaba.Iwi
llcal
l
Noma.”
Ndosiomkhulu:“
Iwillbewai
ti
ngforyouinmy
house.
”Leehungupandal socall
edNomanot i
fyi
ng
her.Af
tert
hatshetooktheFort
unerkeysandshe
droveoutwit
hXoli.
.
.
.
*
**BACKATTHEWAI
TINGROOM*
**
Ndosiomkhulugotinfol
lowedbyhi swi f
e,hi
stwo
sons,Noma,LeeandXol i
.Hel ookedaroundhis
eyeslandedontheZuluprinces.Hefrownedbut
didn’
tsayanyt
hing.Thobekast oodup.

Ndosiomkhul
u:“
andwher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
”she
al
mostshi
ver
edbecausehi
svoi
cewasscar
y.
Thobeka:“t
hedoctorcouldn’
tupdateusonwhati s
goi
ngonbecausewear enotrelatedtoher.Hetol
d
usthatwhenherfami l
ycomes, hewillgi
veusan
update.
”Shequickl
yrusheddownt hecorri
dornot
wait
ingforaresponse.Theyallsatonthechairs.

Sijabul
il
e:“
youshouldn’
thavetalkedli
kethat
babakhe.Youcanal r
eadyseethatsheisscaredof
you.”Lelel
aughed,hi
sfathergavehim adeath
stareandhekeptquieti
mmedi atel
y.Thobekacame
backwi t
hthedoctor.
Doct
or:“
areyouMi
ssCel
e’
sfami
ly?
”
Ndosi:“youthi
nkshewould’
vecall
edyoui
fwe
weren’ttheCel
efamil
y?”heaskedwit
hanannoyed
t
one.Thedoct orswal
lowedhard.
Doctor :“
wel lwedon’tknowwhatcausedthe
bleeding.Sher efusedforherbl
oodtobedrawn.We
reall
ycan’ tdeter
mi newhatiswrongwit
hherunti
l
wedosomet est
s.”
Noma:“ wel
lyoushouldhaveasked.Shehasver y
l
owbl ood.Whenevershebleeds,shepassesout.
Whenyouwantt odr
awherbl oodyoumustalso
donateanotheramountt
oher .It
’satakeandgive
typeofsit
uati
on.”
Doct
or:“
butshei
s…”
Lee:“
don’tgother
e.”shel
ookedatt
hedoct
orwi
tha
thr
eateni
nglook.

Lele:“
youwilldrawherbloodandIwi
lldonatethe
bloodneeded.Wehavet hesameDNAandt he
samebl oodtype.”
Doct
or:“
okaypl
easefol
lowme.
”theyl
eft
.Noma
t
ookherphoneout.
Noma:“l
etmemakesomecal lsmamasot hatIcan
getusaccommodat i
onbecausei tseemslikewe
wil
lbespendi
ngt henighthere.
”Sij
abuli
lenodded
andNomal ef
tthewaitingroom.Ndosiomkhul u
tur
nedtotheZulupri
nces.
Ndosiomkhulu:“andwhatbri
ngsyouhereyoung
men?”hedidn’tcarei
ftheywerepri
ncesornot
.
Kuhl
erubbedt hebackofhisneck.
Kuhle:“
Iam Futhy’scli
entandshewasatmysi te
whenshegotsi ck.Wewer ewor ri
edabouther.
That’
swhywear ehere.”Ndosiomkhulur ai
sedhi
s
eyebrowbutdidn’ttal
kanyfurtherbecausehiswif
e
squeezedhi
sthi gh.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
07:
54] :CHAPTER19
Iwakeupandl ookar ound.OkayIam i nahospital
war d.Iwonderwhati swrongwi thme.Ir emember
bleedingandf eeli
ngexcr uciat
ingpaininmyl ower
abdomenbutIdon’ tknowt hecauseofi t
.Iknowf or
sur ethatitwasn’tperiodpainsorIwasn’t
mi scarryi
ngbecauset her
eisnowayt hatIwas/am
pregnant .Il
ookont hedesknextt omeandIam
reli
evedwhenIseemyphonet here.It
akethetime
andseet hati
t’
sal r
eady7: 30am.Anur sefrom
yest er
daygetsi nandshesmi leswhenshesees
thatIam awake.

Nurse:“goodmor ningMi ssCele.Iam nurse

SabathaandIwi llbeatyourser vi
ceshoul dyou
needanyt hi
ng.Fornowl etmehel pyoubathsot hat
thedoctorcanseeyouandal soyourvi sit
ors.They
havebeenher esincelastnightandt heyaredying
toseeyou.Someoft hem evensl epthere,i
nsidethe
wardint hecouch,anotheronesl eptonthebench
j
ustnextt oyourdoor.”Iknowf orsurethatshei s
tal
kingaboutmyguar ds.Ichuckleabi t
.
Me:“Iknowexactl
ywhoyouaretal
kingaboutandI
am notsur
pri
sed.Doest
hedoctorhavesomenews
forme?”
Nurse:“yes,
hedrewyourbloodyest
erdaybutdon’
t
panicbecauseyourbrot
herdonat
edhisblood.
”I
l
ookupandseeabl ooddri
pwhichisalmostempty.
Me:“
myf
ami
lyi
sher
e?”
Nurse:“yes,andtheZuluprinces.”Fuck!Dadi s
goi
ngt ogett hewrongimpressionandIam pr et
ty
sur
ehei sgoingtogri
llt
hem wi t
hendl essquestions.
Daddoesn’ tcarewhetheryouareacel ebornot.
Wheni tcomest ohissecondpr i
ncess, hedoesn’t
j
okear ound.“Let’
sgo.”Shehelpsmest andup.

Weheadt othebathr
oom andshehelpsmebat h.I
wearanewsani t
arypadandnewpaj amaswhichI
suspectwasboughtmyf amil
y.Aft
erIam donewe
headbacktothewardandIset t
ledownonmybed.
Fewmi nut
eslat
erthedooropensandmyf amily
walkinwit
hNomaandLee.Theyal lt
aket
urnsin
huggingme.DadisthelastonetohugmeandIj ust
breakdowni
nhisar
ms.Her ubsmyback,
cal
ming
medown.Hethenbreakst
hehugandwipesmy
tears.

Dad:“
youaregoingtobefi
ne,okay?
”Inodandhe
ki
ssesmyforehead.It
urnt
olookatLee.
Me:“
wherear
emykids?
”shegi
ggles.Ial
wayscal
l
myguar
dsmykidswhenweareatthehouse.
Lee:“
theyar
eoutsi
de,theywant
edt
ogi
veyou
somet i
mewithf
amily.
”
Me:“wellt
ellthem togetthei
rassesoverher e
becausetheyar ealsomyf amil
y.”Leeleavesand
comesbackwi t
ht hem.Theystandawkwar dl
yat
thedoorwithXol i
.“Aren’
tyouguysgoingt ohugme
andaskmehowIam doi ng?”theyallr
ushandhug
me.Theyf i
nishhuggi ngmeandst andnearbed.

Mabutho:“youscar
edusyesterdayandweallf
elt
usel
ess.Ourjobistopr
otectyouandwatchi
ngyou
i
npainlikethatwashar
d.”
Thobeka:“i
twasli
keyouwereunderat
tackandwe
werejustsi
tti
ngt
hereandwatchi
ngyoubeing
assault
ed.”
Me:“guysplease.Ther
eisnot
hingyoucoul
d’ve
done.Iam f
inenow.Stopworryi
ng.
”
Zamokuhl
e:“
wedon’
tevenknowwhatmadeyou
si
ck.
”
Xol
i:“Iam j
usthappyt
oseeyouawake.Iwas
worri
edwhent hedoct
orsdi
dn’
tal
lowustoseeyou
l
astnight.
”

Me:“Iam sureit’
snothi
ngtowor r
yabout,just
per
iodpains.”Iam al
sohopingandpr ayi
ngt hatit
’s
not
hingserious.Thedoctorget
sin.hiseyeswi den
whenheseest henumberofpeopleinmywar d.But
hequickl
ymaskshi sshockwi t
hasmi le.

Doctor
:“Iam happytoseemypat
ientawake.Ihave
someoft het
estresul
tsbutwewi
llneedtodomor e
test
sbecausewhatwehavenowisj ust
assumpt i
ons.Iwoul dliketoreadtherepor
ttoyou
butit
’spersonal.
”Dadl ooksatmybr ot
hersand
theyl
eavewi thoutthinkingtwice.Mykidsal
so
l
eaveandt hatleavesuswi t
hmypar entsandmy
bestfri
ends.

Dad:“readywhenyouar edoctor.
”Dadcanbever y
unfr
iendlytosomeonewhohei snotusedto.That
’s
whyThobekasai dheisscary.Heonlyshows
aff
ecti
ont ohiswif
e,ki
dsandmyf ri
ends.
Doct
or:“
canwepl
easewaitf
or…”t
hedooropens
andafemal
edoct
orget
sin.
Doct
or2:“
Iam sor
ryIam l
ate.Iwasst
ucki
ntraff
ic.
Goodmorni
ngeveryonebyt
heway.”Wegreetback.

Dr.Mwape:“don’
tworr
ywehaven’ tst
art
edyet.
Anywaysthisi
sDr.Qhali
,sheisagynae.Thisissue
i
nvolvesyourwombsoIt houghti
t’
sbestthatIcall
heri
n.”
Me:“
okaydoct
ors.Whati
swr
ongwi
thme?
”
Dr.Qhal i
:“ Ithinkyouhaveut eri
necancer .Wel lwe
needt odomor etestssot hatwecandet er mineif
i
t’
sr eall
ycancerori t’
sjustabnor malut er ine
bleeding.Andbef oreyouask, uteri
necanceroccur s
i
nawoman’ sr eproductivesystem.Itbegi nswhen
healthycel lsint heuteruschangeandgr owoutof
control,f
or mi ngamasscal l
edat umor .At umorcan
becancer ousorbeni gn.Acancer oust umori s
mal i
gnant ,meani ngitcangr owandspr eadt oot her
partsoft hebody.Abeni gnt umorcangr owbut
gener al
lywi llnotspr eadintoothertissues. ”My
heartsinkst omyst omachandIst artbr eat hi
ng
sl
owl y.Ihavecancer .

Dad:“
whencanyoust
artexami
ningher
?”
Dr
.Qhali
:“assoonaspossibl
esothatifi
tiscancer
,
wewil
lstartt
reat
ingi
tbef
oreitspr
eads.”
Dad:“
Doctorwest ayi
nDur ban,mydaughterwas
heref
orbusiness.Ist
hereapossibi
li
tythatwecan
tr
ansf
erhertoahospi t
ali
nDur banf
irstandthen
wecanst
artwi
tht
het
est
sandexami
nat
ions?
”
Dr.Mwape:“
thatcanhappen.Wewouldt
henhave
t
ohandovertheresul
tswehaveovert
othem.
”
Dad:“
greatt
hen.Iwi
llst
artmaki
ngcal
ls.
”heheads
out
.

Dr.Qhali
:“wewi llberi
ghtbackMissCele.Pl
ease
don’tworry.Iam assumingthatshoul
dyouhave
cancer,i
t’
soni tsfir
stst
ages.Youaregoingtobe
fi
ne.”Theybot hheadout.
Me:“
Ihavecancer
.Iam goi
ngt
odie.
”Isayi
nal
ow
t
oneandmom quickl
yhugsmetight
.
Mom:“ don’
tsayt hat
.Theydon’ tknowf orsureifi
t
i
scancermyl ove.Itisjustassumpt i
onsf ornow.
Morelikeal
legati
ons.Eveni fyouhavei t
,youare
notgoingtodie.Wewi l
lmakesur ethatnever
happens.Youar egoingtobef ine.
”
Noma:“yeahyouar
egoi
ngtobef
inebabes.Wewi
ll
gothr
oughthist
oget
her
,asaf
amil
y.”Shealso
hugsme.
Me:“Iam scared.”Tear
sst artfal
li
ngwhenIthi
nk
aboutmycur r
entsi t
uat
ion.“It’
smyf aul
t.I
fIdi
dn’
t
sl
eeparound,ifIhadsettleddownandhadone
part
nernoneoft hiswould’vehappened.”
Lee:“stop,j
uststop.Thisi
snotanSTIFut hy.Iti
s
cancerandi t
’snotyourfaul
tthatyoumayhavei t.
Andpl easedon’ttal
kli
keyouhaveal readybeen
diagnosed.”Ikeepquietwhil
esniff
ing.

Me:“canyoupleasehandmemyphone? ”Noma
passesit
.“Canyouguyspleasegi
vemesome
space?Ineedtomakeaf ewphonecal
ls.
”
Mom:“ sur
e.Wewillbeinthewaiti
ngroom andwe
wi
llgetyousomethingt
oeat .Wearesorrywedidn’
t
br
ingitnow,wewer ej
ustrushingtoseeyou.
”Ifake
asmileandtheygetout.

Ical
lZahandinf
orm heraboutmycurrentsi
tuati
on.
Ial
socallHl
ongwaandNol uh.I
,howeverdon’t
cancelmyor der.Ijusttel
lhertodeliveri
nDur ban.I
textSandil
eandt ellhi
m Iam inthehospi t
albutI
tellhi
m nottocomebecauseIwi llsoonbe
transfer
redtoDur ban.Ithengoonlineandsear ch
aboutut er
inecancer.Thisistoomucht oread.
MaybeIshoul dhaveaskedXol it
or eaditforme
andsummar izeit
.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
07:
54] :CHAPTER20

*
**NARRATED*
**
Si
jabul
il
e,LeeandNomagott
othewai
ti
ngr
oom
andsadnesswaswr i
tt
enal lovertheirf
aces.
Sij
abuli
lewentoutt ogetsomef reshairwhil
eLee
andNomasatdown.I nthewai ti
ngr oom t
herewas
theZulubr ot
her s,Fut
hy’sbr ot
hers,herguardsand
Xoli
.Theyal llookedatLeeandNomawai ti
ngfor
them t
ot ellt
hem whatt hedoct orsaid.Leewasthe
onlyonewhowasn’ temotional,Nomawashol di
ng
backhert ears.

Lee:“thedoct orssaidther
eisapossi bil
it
yofher
havingut erinecancer,
theythinkthat’
swhatcaused
thebleeding.Theyar estil
lnotsure,theyhavetodo
somet ests.Butshewillbetransfer
redt oDurban
l
aterthi seveningifIam notmi st
aken. ”Nomastood
up.

Noma:“
letmebookusf
li
ght
sbackt
oDur
ban.
”She
l
eftt
hewait
ingr
oom.
Xol
i:“
whati
sut
eri
necancer
?”
Sbo:“ ut er
inecanceroccur si nawoman’ s
reproduct ivesystem.I tbeginswhenheal thycellsi
n
theut er uschangeandgr owoutofcont r ol,forming
amasscal l
edat umor .Atumorcanbecancer ous
orbeni gn.Acancer oust umori smali
gnant ,
meani ngi tcangrowandspr eadt oot
herpar tsof
thebody.Abeni gnt umorcangr owbutgener all
y
wi l
lnotspr eadi
nt oot herti
ssues.Myex- girlf
ri
end
hadi t.Shedumpedmebef oreshestarted
treatment .Shebel ievedt hatshewon’ tbeabl eto
concei veaf tert
het reat ment.EventhoughIt oldher
thattheyar emanypossi bi
lit
iesofconcei vingshe
j
ustgaveuponus. ”Thobekal ookedatSbo.

Thobeka:“
soshei
sgoi
ngt
obeokay?
”
Sbo:“
yeah.Ifi
t’
sst
il
lear
lyagesoft
hecancer
,she
wil
lbeokay.Canwegoseeher?”
Lee:“sure.
”TheZulubrother
sstoodupandwentt
o
Futhy’sward.Theypassedherf
atheronthe
corri
dorwhowast alki
ngt ot
hephone.
*
**FUTHY*
**
Theyenterthewar dandSboi scarryi
nga
McDonal d’
spaperbag.Hepl acesitont hetabl
e
nearthebedandcomest ohugme.Af terhugging
me,hegi vesKuhleachancet oalsohugme, hi
s
huglastslongerbutIam notsurpri
sed, thi
sisKuhle.

Me:“thankyouforthefood.Myf
amil
ywasso
worri
edthattheyforgott
obuymefood.
”Ist
art
eat
ingmybr eakfast
.
Sbo:“
sohowareyouf
eel
ingfut
urequeenoft
he
Zul
ukingdom?
”Il
ookatKuhl
eindisbel
ief
.
Me:“
yourst
upi
dbr
othert
oldyouabouthi
sst
upi
d
pr
oposal
?”
Kuhl
e:“
it
’snotst
upi
d.Il
oveyouandl
ovei
snot
st
upi
d.”

Me:“wel
liti
sstupidi
fyout hi
nkasuccessf
ul
i
ndependentwomanwi l
lgiveupherfr
eedom justt
o
becomeasubmi ssi
vesecondwifewhowi l
lendure
i
nsultsfrom yourBarbiedoll
.”Heclencheshisj
aws
andwal kstothewi ndow.Heput shishandsinhis
pocketsandst areoutthewindowwi thhismouth
shut.“
AnywaysIam f ineSbo,eventhoughther
eis
apossibili
tythatImightdie,Imightnothaveki
ds
andi mightnotlivetoseemycompanyexpandand
goglobal.”Ishrugandcont i
nueeating.

Sbo:“youaregoingtobefi
ne.Myex-gi
rl
fr
iendhad
uter
inecancer
.Shet r
eat
editandsheisnowlivi
ng
herli
fetotheful
lest
.”
Me:“yourex?Meani
ngyoudumpedherbecauseof
i
t?”hechuckles.

Sbo:“
noactuall
y,i
t’
stheotherwayar ound.She
dumpedmebecauseshedi dn’
twantt odisappoi
nt
mebynotgivingmekids.Wher easthereisa
possi
bil
it
yofgett
ingpregnantaftert
hetreatment.
”

Me:“
youshoul
dsetupameet
ingf
ormewi
thher
.I
wannaknowmor eaboutt
hiscancertreatment.SoI
won’tbeabl
etodri
nkduri
ngthiswholet r
eatment
per
iod?”hel
aughsandKuhlechuckles.OwIf orgot
hewasevenhere.
Sbo:“ever
ytreat
mentrequir
esyoutobesober,
even
wheni t
’sf
luorheadache.Sother
eisnoexcept
ion
tot
his.”

Me:“t
heSABi sgoi
ngt omakeahugel
oss.
”They
bot
hlaugh.Kuhl
eturns.
Kuhl
e:“
Sbocanyougi
veussomespace?
”
Sbo:“
sur
ebro.getwel
lsoonmyf ut
urewi
fe.
”I
l
augh.Hehugsmeandl eaves.
Me:“
Kuhlepl
ease.St
opt
alki
ngaboutt
hissecond
wi
feshi
t.
”

Kuhl
e:“
wouldyoumar
rymei
fIdi
vor
cedSt
habi
le?
”
myeyespopout.
Me:“Kuhle,ifit
’ssexyouwantt henIwil
lgi
veitto
you.Youdon’ thavetothrowawayyear sof
mar r
iagebecauseofmychubbypussy.Iknowi t
hasthatwoza- wozabutdon’ tdi
vor
ceyourwife.
Thinkaboutyourki ds.Kuhleyouhaven’
tknownme
forevenamont hbutalreadyyouarethi
nki
ngof
destroyi
ngyourf amilybecauseofme.Comeon. ”
Hechuckl esandshakeshi shead.

Kuhl
e:“youarewor t
hit.Youarewor
thever
y
sacr
if
iceFut
hy.Iwoul dn’twantt
osl
eepwit
hyoui
fI
can’
thaveallofyou.”
Me:“wel
lIdowantt ofuckyouandIwil
ldothat
.
SoonasIrecover
.”Hiseyespopout.“
Phel
anamiI
wantsomeroyaldick.
”
Kuhl
e:“
soyouwannauseme?
”

Me:“don’tactalli
nnocent.Youknowverywellt
hat
ther
eisnot hi
ngyouwi llmorethaneat
ingmypussy
unti
lIcomeandmer i
dingyoublackcockunti
lyou
shootallyourseedsinsidemypussy.”Hestar
ts
sweating.Goodt oknowIstil
lhavethateff
ect
.“By
thewayI ’dsuckyourcocksohar dthatyouwi
llfi
nd
yourselfreci
ti
ngmycl annamesandgi vingmeall
yourbankpi ns.Iwouldsuckallofi
tandmassage
yourbal l
sandalsosuckthem. ”

Kuhl
e:“st
optal
king.”Hi
sdickisal
readyhardandI
mustsaythesi
zeisi mpr
essivewhichmakesme
wanthi
m evenmor e.

Me:“thenIwouldswall
owyourcum.Af tert
hatI
wouldlayonthebedandal l
owyoutohavemeyour
way.Ilovemissi
onar
yst ylebyt
hewaybecauseI
wouldgrabyourassforcingyoutogodeeperand
f
uckmehar der.”
Kuhl
e:“
byeFut
hy.
”Her
ushesoutandIbur
stout
l
aughi
ng.
.
.
Dadget
sint
hewar
dfol
lowedbyt
hedoct
ors.
Dad:“wehavesor tedoutallt
hepaper wor
k.Youare
goingtobet r
ansferr
edtoDur baninanambulance
becausethisisnotanemer gency.Thedoctor
s
havesort
edoutt hebloodissueandt heywil
lhand
overtheresttotheUmhlangadoct or
s.”

Me:“whati
fIwantDr .Qhal
itoconti
nuewithme
thr
oughthi
sjourney?NotthatIdon’
ttr
ustthe
Umhlangamedicalteam,Ij
ustwanther.”Dadsi
ghs
andtur
nstoDr.Qhal i
.
Dr.Qhali:“
Idon’thaveapr obl
em wit
hworki
ngat
Umhl anga.Iwi
llsorteverythi
ngoutandIwi
llr
epor
t
fordutytomorrowmor ning.”

Me:“
thankyou.Whenam Il
eavi
ng?
”
Dad:“
now.
”Leeget
sin.
Lee:“
Iwi
llpackyourbags.
”
Me:“
bagyoumean?
”shechuckl
es.
Lee:“
yeaht
hat
.”
Me:“
daddyIam hungr
y.CanIeatbef
orewel
eave?
”
Dad:“
ther
eisKFCandMcDonal
d’snear
by.Whi
ch
onedoyouwant?
”

Me:“st
reet
wise2wi t
hlar
gechipsand2minil
oafs.I
al
sowant1l i
terofcr
anberr
yjui
ce.
”Hetakesouthis
phoneandsendssomeoneamessage.
Dr.Mwape:“
Iguessthi
sisgoodbyef
ormebecause
Ihavet
oseeotherpati
ent
s.”
Me:“
byedoctor
.”Henodsandheget
soutwi
thDr
.
Qhal
i.Dadal
sogetsout
.
Lee:“
Kuhl
eandSboar
egone.
”

Me:“
Itraumat
izedKuhl
esoIam notshockedt
hat
hel
eft
.”
Lee:“
whatdi
dyousayt
othepoorki
ng?
”
Me:“It
oldhi
m howI’df
uckhi
m andsuckhisdick.I
gavehi
mt hedet
ail
shunandheranoutofhere.”
Leelaughsoutloud.“Hewasbusytell
ingmeshit
aboutwantingmet obehissecondwife.Ihadt
o
shi
fthisfocus.
”Lee’seyespopout.

Lee:“
secondwhat ?”f
uckIdon’tr
emembertel
li
ng
them aboutt
his.Sherunsoutandcomesbackwit
h
Noma.“ Tel
lmewhatyout ol
dher.”
Me:“Kuhl
ewant
smet
obehi
ssecondwi
fe.
”Noma
scr
eams.
Noma:“whendi
dwegether
e?It
houghthewas
goi
ngtobeanot
herhi
tandr
un.
”
Me:“
hecaughtf
eel
ingsandf
ellhar
d.”
Noma:“
whatar
eyougoi
ngt
odo?
”Ishr
ug.
Me:“
fuckhi
m.”

Lee:“t
hatwil
lmakehim wantyouevenmore.
”The
paincomesbackhardandIreleaseasmal
lscream
whilecl
utchi
ngonmyl owerabdomen.“
What’
s
wrong?”
Noma:“
shal
lIcal
lthedoct
or?
”thepai
nfadesaway.
Me:“
noIam f
ine.
”
Noma:“
you’
renot
.Youwer
escr
eami
ngawhi
le
ago.
”
Me:“relax.It
’snot
hing.
”Shel
ooksatmewithtear
y
eyes.“Pleasedon’
tlookatmeli
ket
hat.Iwi
llbe
fi
ne.”
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
07:
56] :CHAPTER21
Wegett otheUmhl angaNet careandIgetadmi tt
ed.
Af ewhour slatertheNt ulibrothersgr acesmewi t
h
theirpresence.Yandi saiswi t
hhi swife.Theyar e
carryingflowersandf ood.Thewi feiscarrying
balloons.Idon’ tli
kebal loonsguys.If eell
ikethey
belongt okidsandpeopl emaybr i
ngt hem when
visit
ingsomeonei fthatper sonhavej ustgivenbir
th.
Anywayst heysi tdownaf tergr eeti
ngmeofcour se.
Yandi saintroduceshi swi feandMandi sa.Socool ,
theirnamesr hyme.

Sakhi
le:“
whatar
eyouher
efor
?”
Me:“
Imi
ghtbedyi
ng.
”
Sakhi
le:“
what
’sup?
”
Me:“
thedoct
orst
hinkIhaveut
eri
necancer
.”
Mandi
sa:“
whatar
eyoursympt
oms?
”
Me:“Ijusthadexcruci
ati
ngpai
ni nmylower
abdomenandt henIbl
edheavi
ly.Allmyli
fe,never
evenforoncehaveIeverhadper i
odpains,soI
wouldn’thavestar
tednow.”
Mandisa:“someti
mesithappensthatdoct
orsmake
amisdiagnose.It
hinkIshoul
dtakealookatyour
f
il
e.”Il
ookathersuspiciousl
y.
Sandil
e:“
don’twor
ry,
shei
sadoctor
.”Inod.She
takest
hefil
ebelowmybedandpagesit
.
Me:“sowhatdi
dyouguysbei
ngme?Iam
st
arvi
ng.
”

Yandi
sa:“
frui
ts,
meatandr
oll
s,bur
gerandf
ri
es.
”
Me:“canyoupl easehandmet hebur
gerandfri
es?”
henodsandpassesi tt
ome.Iopenthetakeaway
andst ar
teat
ing.“Areyouguysthi
nki
ngabout
bui
ldinganotherstudi
o?MaybeinCapeTownorPE
orLimpopo?”

Yandisa:“
maybeaf t
er5year s.Asmuchasi t
cr
eatesmor ej
oboppor tuni
tiesforot
herpeople,
it
l
eavesamar kinourpocket ssowear enotrushi
ng
onbuildi
nganotherstudiosoon.”Inodand
cont
inueeat
ing.

Me:“Sakhi
lewhenareyouplanningonsettl
ing
down?”IknowIam aski
ngaper sonalquesti
onbut
theyar
eherenow,sotheyhavetoent er
tai
nmewi t
h
news.Helaughs.
Sakhi
le:“
whydon’
tyouaskSandi
let
hatquest
ion?
”
Me:“ifIdo,hewil
lst
artprofessi
nghi
slovef
orme,
tur
ningallWil
li
am ShakespeareNeh.
”Theyal
llaugh
andSandi l
esul
ks.

Sakhi
le:“wellIwannamar r
ymyf i
rstbabymama.
ThethingisIbrokeherheartwithmyment al
it
yof
bei
ngent i
tledtosomethings.Iletfamegeti
ntomy
headandi tdestr
oyedourrelat
ionship.
”
Me:“whendi
dyour
eal
izet
hatyouwant
edt
omar
ry
her
?”
Sakhi
le:“
fewmont
hsaf
tershel
eftme.
”
Me:“don’
tmi
ndmewi t
hthese21quest
ions.Iam
j
ustkeepi
ngmysel
fent
ert
ainedbypl
ayi
ngSi s
Dol
ly.
”Theyal
llaugh.“
Isshedati
nganyoner
ight
nowandareyoudatinganyone?
”

Sakhi
le:“
noinbothquestions.”Ifi
nisheat
ingand
wipemyhands.Iplacethet akeawaynearthebed
andSandil
etakesitandthrowsi ti
nt hebi
n.
Me:“bet
weenSandi
leandYandi
sa,
whoi
nti
midat
es
hert
hemost?”
Yandi
sa:“
me.
”
Me:“gi
vemeyourphone. ”hehandsmehisphone
andIpassitt
oSakhil
e.“Putonherphonenumber.
”
Huquickl
ypunchesit
.Itakethephonebackand
vi
deocallher
.“What
’shername? ”

Sandi
le:“
Sivel
il
e.”Inod.Sheanswer
saf
teraf
ew
ri
ngs.
Si
vel
il
e:“
hel
loBabomdal
a.”

Me:“
hisi
si.Iam sur
eyouwer
eexpect
ingYandi
sa
Neh. ”Shenods.“ Iam Fut hyCeleandIhavebeen
diagnosedwi thl ungcancerst age3.Ihaveaf ew
mont hst oli
ve.Li f
eist ooshor tsisi.Youmi ghtbe
wonder i
ngwhyIam t ell
ingyout his.Wellthething
i
sSakhi l
eisaf riendofmi neandhehasbeent here
formeever ystepoft heway.Hehassuppor t
edme
andshowedmegr eatloveandcar e.Whilehewas
showi ngmet hisaf fect i
on,Iaskedmysel fwhoi s
thereforhim becauseasmuchasIneedashoul der
toleanon, heal sodoes.Iam nott ryi
ngtogui l
ttrip
youi ntogetti
ngbackt ogetherwithhi m.Justcall
him whenyouhavet imeandcheckuponhi m.You
knowt hathemi ghthaveabubbl yper sonali
tyand
somet imesbot tlethingsup.Pl easej ustgethimt o
speakoutorevenseeashr i
nkifhedoesn’ ttal
kt o
you.”Icoughandpl acemyhandi nmychest .
“Pleaset hi
nkaboutwhatIsai d.”Shesni ffsand
nods.“ Bye”

Sivel
il
e:“
byesisiandMaythel
ordbewit
hyouand
healyoufrom al
lthepai
nyouar
egoingt
hrough.
”
Me:“
thankssi
si.
”Iendt
hecal
landhandYandi
sa
hi
sphone.Itur
ntoSakhi
le.“
Youowemeahol
iday
whenIgetoutoft
hispl
ace.

Sakhi
le:“
consi
deritdone.Doyouwantmetot
ell
Tyl
erPerryt
oincl
udeyoui nhi
snextmovi
e?
Becausedamngirlyoucanact.
”Il
augh.
Sandi
le:“
Iam al
soi
mpr
essedNt
ombi
.”
Yandisa:“
minaIam st
il
lshockedsiswelung
cancer.
”Wealll
augh.Mandisaclear
sherthr
oat
.
Mandi
sa:“
Iwil
lli
ketodofur
thert
est
sonthis.I
havet
odoapapsmearonyouandgot estyour
bl
oodinmylabathome.”

Me:“ifyouar
egoingtotestmyblood,
pleaset
akea
l
itt
leamountofi
tbecauseIam oneofthefew
chubbypeopl
einMzansiwhohavel owblood.
”
Mandi
sa:“
whoi
sthedoct
ori
nchar
geofyou?
”
Me:“
Dr.Qhal
i.Shei
scomi
ngi
ntomor
row.Shei
s
f
rom Ri
char
dsBay.”
Mandisa:“tel
lhertonotcome.Iwil
ltakeoveryour
case.Iam stil
lnotsur
eaboutthecancersoyou’re
notoffthehookyetuntilIdomytest
s.Anydoct or
youwer eintr
oducedtoherewhenyouar r
ived?”

Me:“
acer
tai
nDoct
orGr
ande.
”
Mandisa:“
letmequickl
ygof
indhi
m andthenIwi
ll
getbacktoyou.
”Inodandsheheadsout
.
Me:“
doesshewor
kher
e?”
Yandisa:“no.shei
sacancerspeci
ali
st,
anyt
ypeof
cancer,somosthospi
tal
saskforherwhentheyar
e
atcrossroads.”
Me:“t
hankyouforbri
ngi
ngher.”Thet
wobr
other
s
l
eave,l
eavi
ngSandil
ebehind.
Sandi
le:“
doyouf
eelanypai
nnow?
”

Me:“nope.I
tcomesandgoes.Butwheni
tcomes,
it
hur
tsli
keabitch.
”
Sandi
le:“
youar
egoi
ngt
obef
ine.Youst
il
lneedt
o
f
il
ltheNt
uliyar
dwi
thourbabi
es.
”Icl
earmyt
hroat
.

Me:“ Ndil
eIdidtellyouthatIdon’tdat
e.Pleasestop
planningaboutthef ut
ureinyourhead.Idon’ twant
yout obedisappointedwhenyouf i
ndoutt hatwe
arestil
lnotonthesamepage.Mi naI’
dlikeano
stri
ngsattachedtypeofr el
ati
onships.Justsexhere
andt her
e,afewdat esmaybei fyouneedadat eon
aneventorahol iday.Butno‘Iloveyou’s’andshit.
”
Hebowshi shead.

Sandile:“
whatam Isupposedt
odowitht
he
feel
ingsIhaveforyouNtombi?
”Ishr
ug.
Me:“Idon’
tknowbutIam aski ngyoutonotbe
anot
herShamase.Idon’ tneedanymoreattent
ion
fr
om thepublicandyoubeingthesecondguyto
conf
esshisf eel
ingsf
ormei npubli
cwillmakeme
l
ooklikeaslutandjeopardi
zemycompanyname. ”

Sandi
le:“
Iwoul
dn’
tdot
hatt
oyou,
butIam not
goi
ngt
ogi
veuponyou.
”
Me:“Ihearthatbutpl
easest
opwi
tht
he‘
Il
ove
you’
s’fornow.”
Sandi
le:“
fai
renough.ButIwon’
tst
optaki
ngyou
outondatesandcomplementi
ngyou.
”Ichuckl
e.
Me:Ineversai
dyoushoul
d.Iam gl
adwehadt
his
chat
.”
Sandi
le:“
canIpleasehaveahug?
”Inodandhe
hugsme.“Iwi
llseeyoutomorr
ow."

Me:“
bye.
”
Sandi
le:“
byeNt
ombi
.”Heheadsout
.
Thatseemedeasy.Ijusthopehewon’ tbegivi
ng
met r
oublesinthenearfut
ure.Ihavesomuchon
myplateright
.Ican’
tevenfindti
met ostar
ta
rel
ati
onship.

‘
Ijustt
hinkthatIj
usthavesomuchonmyplate
t
hatIcan’tevenfi
ndtheti
metoenter
tai
norst
arta
rel
ati
onshiporanyt
hingser
iousorevenat
ext
.’–
SalHoudinif
eat.Ri
hanna
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
07:
56] :CHAPTER22

It’
sFr idaymi dday.Mandisahasalreadydidapap
smearonmeanddr ewveryli
ttl
eamountofbl ood.
Shesai dshewi llcomewiththeresult
ssoonbutt he
l
at estwi llbeMondaymor ning.Shecancell
edDr .
Qhal i.Shei ssuchabullybutIam gladthatsheis
onmycasebecauseIknowi twil
lrecei
veher
undi videdat t
enti
on.IsentXolit
ocomebackwi th
thesket chesIdidinJBH.Shewasver yconcerned,
sayingIshouldberesti
ngbecauseIdon’tfeelwell
butIknowt hati
fIsitanddon’
tdoanything,Iwillgo
crazy.Theybroughtmywholedrawingsetandset
i
tupi nmywar d.RightnowIam fi
nishi
ngupt hi
s
sketch.Ial
sohaveanewsket chideainmymi nd.

Voice:“yazwhenyout oldmet hatyouweresick,I

thoughtIwoul dfi
ndyour est
ing.ButIshoul
d’ve
knownbet terbecauser estandyoudon’tmix.”I
chuckleandt urntofacet hedoor.
Me:“
howl
onghaveyoubeenst
andi
ngt
her
e?”
Hlongwa:“l
ongenought
oseeoneoft hegr
eat
est
buil
dingsbei
ngdrawnfr
om scr
atch.
”
Me:“comeon.
”Heget
sinandsi
tsatt
hevi
sit
ors’
chai
r.

Hlongwa:“nowbeagoodpati
entandgolieonyour
bed.”Il
aughandpackupmyequipment.Ifol
dmy
sketchandplaceitont
het
ube.It
hengoandsi ton
thebedasi nst
ruct
ed.“
Whati
swrongfi
rstborn?”I
shr
ug.

Me:“att
hispoi
ntIdon’
tknow.Myfir
stdoct
orsai
dI
mayhaveuteri
necancerandthel
astonesai
dit
’s
f
arf
etchedbecauseIonl
yhaveonesymptom.”
Hlongwa:“
wellwhateveri
tis,
Iknowyouwi
ll
conqueri
tbecauseyouareaf i
ghter
.”
Me:“t
hankyoubaba.”Het akesoutanenvel
ope
fr
om hispocketandhandsittome.“Whatist
his
baba?”

Hl
ongwa:“j
ustopenit.
”Hesayswithasmil
e.Iopen
t
heenvel
opeandt akeoutt
helet
ter
.Iopenandread
i
t.

Me:“babai
tsayshereIhavebeeninvi
tedtoa
di
nnerwhereIam aguestspeakerandtheyar
e
honori
ngme.Wait
,howi sthi
spossibl
e?”
Hl
ongwa:“babyyouareanamazi
ngar chi
tect
.Thi
s
i
sjustnot
hing.Theyshoul
dbegi
vingyouanaward
forr
aisi
ngt
heirf
laghi
gher.Youar
ewel
l
-knownand
yourworki
sextr
aordi
nar
y.”
Me:“
thatmeansal
ott
ome.Thanksdad.
”

Voice:“
heydon’ tbecal
li
nganotherman‘ dad’whil
e
Iam sti
llal
ive.
”Weal ll
aughandlooktowar dsthe
door.Dadget si
nandt heyexchangegreeti
ngswith
Hlongwa.
Dad:“
sowhatar
ewecel
ebr
ati
ng?
”
Hlongwa:“WITSi
sdoi
nganhonordi
nnerf
orFut
hy
nextmonth.”

Dad:“
that
’sgoodndodakazi
.Iam happyf
oryou.
”
Me:“Iam alsohappydad.Ican’twai
t.Buttheywant
met ospeak.WhatwillIsay?
”theybothlaughand
t
heirlaught
ervibr
atesinthewholeyardbecauseof
t
heirdeepvoices.
Hlongwa:“youwil
ljusttel
lthem howi twasbei
nga
student
.Don’ti
nventstori
es.Justtellt
hem t
he
chall
engesyoufaced,howyouover camethem,
yourbestandworstmoments.Don’
tincl
ude
bombasticwor
dsbecauseyourEngli
shbundleswi
ll
bedeplet
edquickl
y.”Weal
llaugh.

Me:“hhaybaba,
Iam aMast
ersgr
aduat
e,i
singi
si
si
phumangamakhala.
”
Dad:“
kunj
aloMagaye.
”Hl
ongwal
aughs.
Hl
ongwa:“
asi
namonakeMandosiAmahl
e.”
Me:“t
hat’
sli
keamaskandiname.
”theybot
hlaugh.
NcumisaHongwaandmom maket hei
rwayin.

Ncumisa:“ yohniyanxol
aninamakhehla.Ndini
ve
ndisereception.(
Youaremaki ngnoi
se.Iheardyou
fr
om ther ecepti
on.Theylaughandtheyall
exchangegr eeti
ngs.
Me:“Ihopeyouboughtmefood.Unli
keyour
husbandswhowerefeedi
ngmel aughter
.”
Dad:“
aibo,
youdi
dn’
tsayyouar
ehungr
y.”
Mom:“
whenyouar
eatt
hehospi
talyouneedt
oeat
ever
yhourbecauseyouar
ejustbor
edt
odeat
h.”

Hlongwa:“
wel
lnother
.”Hepoi
ntsatmydr
awi
ng
board.
Ncumisa:“yoh,
bir
dsofthesamefeathers.
”She
shakesherheadandherhusbandlaughs.
Mom:“hereyougomyl ove.”shehandsmef r
uit
s
andyoghurt
.Ncumi
sapl acesthepaperbagsheis
car
ryi
ngonmyshelf.Istarteati
ngthefr
uit
s.

Me:“
howaretheprepar
ati
onsf
orumemul
ogoi
ng?
”
shel
ooksatdadandthenl
ooksatme.
Mom:“ wewerethi
nki
ngofpost
poni
ngi
tbecauseof
yourcondi
ti
on.
”Ishakemyhead.
Me:“youcan’ tpostponeitma.Itmeansal otto
Thando.”Itakemyphoneandt ransf
erR30kt oher
account.Herphonebeepsandshel ooksatthe
message.Thatmoneyshoul dcovert heexpenses
thatIsai
dIwi lldo.Pleasemakei tpossi
blemama.
IfIam notoutbyFr iday,Iwi
llaskthedoctorto
rel
easemesot hatIcanmakeanappear
anceon
theevent
.”Sheopenshermoutht
ospeakbutdad
shakeshi
shead.

Ncumisa:“
whenar eyouvi
sit
ingus?
”Iscr
atchmy
headandtheyal
llaugh.
Hlongwa:“t
her
eisnor
estf
ort
hewi
ckedmyl
ove.
”
shelaughs.
Ncumisa:“
butyouhavetot
imeof
fandmaybe
spendtheweekendwit
hus.
”
Me:“
aweekendsoundsdoabl
e.”
Dad:“yaziwhenIsuppor
tedherdream, Iwasn’
t
awareoft hef
actt
hatImighthavetomakean
appoi
ntmenttospendtimewithher.”Ipout.
Me:“
that
’snott
ruedad.
”
Dad:“
iti
s.”
Mom:“
shei
sri
ghtl
ove.
”

Wecont
inuechat
ti
ngwi
tht
hepensi
oner
s.Thei
r
companyisf un.Theydon’tactlikestuckupadults
whoar eal
waysser ious.Theyevent alkedabout
havingadinnerdatetonight.IguessHl ongwaisnot
goingtohi
shonor ingdinnertonight
.It akemy
aft
ernoonnap.

‘
Khokho:“
mzukul
u.”
Me:“
Khokhoam Igoi
ngt
odi
e?”
Khokho:“ l
utho.Thereisalotthatyoust i
llneedto
doint hisworld.Yousti
llhavetoreachyourdest i
ny.
Thisdiseaseyouar efacingisnothing,youar e
goingt oconqueritandcomeoutst ronger.Butthe
wor sti
syett ocome.Ther earegoingt obepeopl e
whowi l
lbefr
iendyouint henearfuturewhodonot
haveyourbesti nter
estsatheart.Stickwithyour
currentfri
ends.”

Me:“whati
stheworstt
hati
syettocomeKhokho?
”
shedoesn’
tanswermyquest
ion.
Khokho:“
Iwantyout
opr
aywhenf
acedwi
tht
ough
si
tuati
ons.Youdon’ thavet
ogot ochurch,butmake
Godyourt herapi
st.Iknowyoudon’tknowhowt o
pray,
butjustcloseyoureyes,cal
luponhisname
andtellhi
m whatyouwant .Al
sot r
ustyourinst
inct
s.
Theyar eneverwrong.”

Me:“youarenotgoi
ngtoansweranyofmy
quest
ions?
”shelaughs.
Khokho:“
mzukuluIam notyourstudent
.Idon’
t
oweyouanswers,j
ustguidanceandadviceand
warni
ngwhenthereisdanger.
”
Me:“
youar
eful
lyour
sel
fyazi
.”

Khokho:“
soIhavebeent
old.
”Il
aughather
.
Me:“whataboutt
hechosenonet
heor
y?”sher
oll
s
hereyes.
Khokho:“
whathaveIjustt
oldyoumzukul
u?”she
st
andsupanddisappears.
’Isi
ghandwakeup.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
07:
56] :CHAPTER23

Thefollowingmor ningmygi r
lscomeandvi si
tme.
Theyspendhal fthedaywi thmeandl eaveinthe
aft
ernoon.Lat eronMvel ocomest ovisitme.Ireall
y
wasn’texpectinghi m.Iguessnewsaboutmebei ng
atthehospi t
altravelledveryfast.Hehugsmeand
pl
acest hehugebouquetofMor ningGl ori
es,which
areblueflower swi t
hat ouchofyel lowandwhi te.
Hesitsdownont hevi si
tor
’schairandaskshowI
am doing.

Me:“
Iam f
ineMvel
o.I
t’
sjustt
hatwhat
everi
tist
hat
Iam suf
feri
ngfrom hurt
sli
keabi
tchsomet
imes,
butover
allIam real
lyf
ine.
”
Mvel
o:“
youst
il
lar
en’
tdat
ing?
”
Me:“don’
tstar
tont
hatplease.It
oldyouIdon’
tdat
e
andIam sti
cki
ngonthat
.”

Mvel o:“therear
epicturesofyouont henetwi t
ht he
Ntuliproducerandr umor sarecircul
atingstat
ing
thatyouguysar eactuall
yani t
em. ”Igetfrust
rated
i
mmedi atel
yandsitupst r
aight
,ignoringtheshar p
paint hatshootsli
keanar rowonmyabdomen.

Me:“Ithoughtyoucameheretocheckupon,nott
o
boostonyourego.IguessIwascrazythi
nki
ngthat
youactuall
ycareaboutme.
”
Mvelo:“don’tspi
nt hisar
oundonmeFut hy.Youare
theonewhosai dyoudon’ tdateandyoudon’ tli
ke
toassociateyourselfwit
hcel ebr
it
iesbecauset hey
bri
ngdrama.Buther eyouar eagainbeingalllovey
doveywi t
hMr .Producer.”
Me:“Idon’
toweyoushi tandbett
erhimthanyou
becausehedi dn’
tgoandconfesshi
sfeeli
ngstot
he
wholeoffuckinSouthAfr
ica.
”Hescrat
cheshis
headfuri
ously.
Mvel
o:“
Iwasn’
tthi
nki
ngst
rai
ghtt
hatday.
”
Me:“justli
keyouaren’
tthi
nki
ngst
raightnow.
Confr
ont i
ngmel i
keyou’
remyboyfri
endor
husband.”

Mvelo:“Iam confr
onti
ngyoubecauseIfeell
ikeI
am theonewhoshoul dbewi t
hyou,nothim.I
deserveyou.Hedoesn’t.Hei
saplayer.Don’
tbe
fool
edbyhi slooksandhiscal
m demeanor.”
Me:“
howdoyouknowabouthi
spl
ayerwaysand
hi
sdemeanor
?”

Mvelo:“
wecelebr
iti
es,
wear el
ikeacommuni t
y,we
knoweachother’
snews,scandal
s,pastand
shenani
gans.
”
Me:“youknowabouteachother
’sshenani
gansor
youdidaresear
chabouthi
m becauseyou’
veseen
ustoget
her?Whichi
swhichMvel o?
”

Mvelo:“
Idi
dn’
tdoaresear
chonhi m Futhy,
Ijust
knewabouthi
m andheisnotr
ightforyou.”
Me:“whati
sitt
hatIhavethatdri
veyoumenso
cr
azyandyoufindyoursel
flosi
ngyoursenses
whenitcomestome?”

Mvelo:“youareamazi ng,youareabombi nbed,

andyouar ebeauti
ful,sexy,andsuccessf
ul.
Successfulwomen, hard-worki
ngwomenand
hustl
ingwomenar emor eattr
acti
vebecausethey
knowwhatt heywanti nlif
e.Youar enotanuisance.
Youar eperf
ectandani dealgirl
fr
iendorwif
e.”

Me:“t
hat’
sjustitMvel
o,Iam notperf
ect
.Imake
mist
akes,Ican’
tcommittoar el
ati
onshi
pbecauseI
havebeenburnedbefor
e.Ican’tal
sokeepa
rel
ationshipbecauseIdon’ ti
nvestmyf eeli
ngsinit.
Iam notani dealgi
rl
friendbecauseIam mar ri
edto
mywor k.Look,
”Ipointatthedrawi ngboar dinmy
ward, “
evenwhenIam i nthehospi t
al,supposedt o
beresting,Ican’
tbecauseIf eelli
kemyheadwi ll
explode.IfIspendaf ewhour sawayf r
om my
drawingboar d,mymi ndget sfi
ll
edwi thhundr edor
i
deas.OnedayIknowIwi l
lgocr azy.AllinallIam
notper f
ectandIam f i
newi thmysel fbutIknowno
manwi l
lstandawomanl ikeme. ”

Mvel
o:“
butIam wi
ll
ingt
otr
y.”
Me:“justl
eaveMvelobecauseyouwi llendup
compr omi
singyourhappi
nesstryi
ngt okeepme
andpleaseme.PlusIdon’tf
eelthesamewayabout
you.Idon’
tevenli
keyou.Pleasedon’tevercome
backhere.
”hestandsup.
Mvelo:“
ifyouthinkIam goingtojustgi
veupon
you,
thenthinkagain.”Heturnsandheadsout
l
eavi
ngmedef eated.Iwonderwhatitwil
ltakef
or
himtounderstandthatheandIar enever
happeni
ng.
.
.
Ifini
shedmydr awingyest erdayaf terMvelolef t
.I
startedona24hourl ibrary.I
thas2f loorsanda
basement .I
thasapl acewher eyoucandi scuss
thingsi ngroups,aqui etplacewher eyoucanr ead
novel sifyouwant ,apl acewher eyoucanaccess
comput ersandpr i
nters,placewher eyoucansi t
andj ustwr i
te.Iam thinkingofbui ldingoneand
owni tmyself.Iwil
laskdadt osetupameet i
ngwi th
themayort odiscussmyi dea.I fhedoesn’ tgivein,
thenIwi l
lmakei tpri
vat eandmakepeopl eact uall
y
j
oinandhavemember shipcar dsandt heywillpay
forser vi
ceslikeusingcomput er s,
pr i
ntersandWi -
Fi.

Inthi
sl i
brar
yIalsopl anonhavi ngabookshop
whichwi l
lbeoutsidet heli
brarybutonthesame
buil
ding.Iam onlygoingt osellbooksbyAfri
can
authors.Ihavenopr oblem withauthor
sfrom ot
her
conti
nentsbutIbel i
evet hatchari
tybegi
nsathome.
WellmaybeIcanf itover
seasbooksi nonei sl
e.The
wayIam l ooki
ngf orwardtothisli
brary,Ieven
fi
nishedthesketchest hi
smor ningandst ar
tedwith
theinter
iordesi
gnsal sointhemor ning.Ihaveal ot
oftimeher esoIintendonspendi ngitwi sel
y.
.
.
Intheeveni ngmyf ami lycomest ovi si
t.Thandoi s
withthem.Iam pr ett
ysur edadf or cedhert ocome
becausei fBusiwasher e,shewoul d’ vestayedat
home.I fBusiwasher e, theywoul d’ vegone
shoppingorgonet othemovi es,ort hespaorsal on.
Theyal lgreetmeandsheal sogr eet smei nal ow
tone.IfIwasar udeper sonIwoul d’vel aughedat
herbecauset hemai nl adyisnother eandherasa
sidekickl ookslost.Itellmyot hersi bli
ngsabout
thedinneratWi t
s.Mybr ot
hersinvi tet hemsel ves
anddadj ustlaughs.Ti mear ri
vesf ort hem tol eave
andIaskt ospeakwi t
hdad.Theyl eaveusal onei n
thewar d.
Me:“sodad,
thethi
ngisIam pregnantandI
miscar
ri
edonetwin.That
’swhyIbledsohard.
”He
f
rownslooki
ngatme.
Dad:“
whatdidyoujustsay?
”Ilookathimlooki
ng
atmewait
ingforananswer.Ij
ustburstout
l
aughi
ngbecausehisfaceishi
lari
ous.
Me:“goshdad, youshould’
veseenyourf ace.You
real
lythi
nkI’
dbet hiscoolifIwaspregnantand
deli
vernewsstraightt
oyou, notaski
ngmom t o
deli
verthem onmybehal f?
”hef i
nall
ysnapsoutof
i
tandchuckles.
Dad:“
youguysar
eunpr
edi
ctabl
eandpregnancy
hor
monescanmakeyoudoreal
lycr
azythi
ngs.”
Me:“
tal
kingf
rom exper
ience?
”Il
ookathi
mrai
sing
mybrow.Helaughs.

Dad:“youhavenoi dea.Yourmothershowedme
fl
ameswhenshewaspr egnantwit
hyou.Inal
lof
ourchil
dren,youweremor etr
oublesomewhil
ein
herwomb.She’ dsomet i
meswakeupi nt
hemiddl
e
ofthenightandwearhergym gear .She’
dbel
ike
‘
babakheIam goi ngjogging,doyouwannaj oin
me? ’I
’dbel i
ke‘aybowemf azihaveyouseent he
ti
me? ’she’dcryasifIwashi t
ti
ngherandIwoul d
endupaccompanyi nghert ohermi dnightjog.
Laphoshedi dn’
tevenjog.Wej ustwalkedaround
theneighborhoodandshewoul dgossi pabouther
stokvelfr
iends.”Iburstoutlaughing.Ican’ti
magine
mom wi thsuchcr azyhormones.

Me:“
howl
ongdi
dthatl
ast
?”
Dad:“aboutaweek.Thef ol
lowingweeks,her
obsessionwasbaki ng.Shebakedal mostever
yday.
She’dforcemet oeathercakes.Theywer e
del
icious,butbabygirli
magi neeat
ingcakesever
y
si
ngleday. ”Icont
inuelaughing.
Me:“Yohyouwentt
hrought
hewor
st.
”Heal
so
l
aughs.

Dad:“
nowwhatdi
dyouwantust
otal
kabout
?”
Me:“
Iam t
hinki
ngofbui
ldi
ngal
ibr
ary.Act
ual
lyI
wantedtogivetheMayort hi
sideainit
ial
ly,
butright
nowIjustwantittobemi ne.Ineedyout osoft
en
hi
m upsot hathewon’tt
al kmuchwhenhe
di
scoverst
hatIhavebuiltaver ybeauti
full
ibr
ary.”
Dad:“
whatki
ndofal
ibr
ary?
”
Me:“astateoftheartl
ibrary.Onei namilli
on.Itwi
ll
al
sohavepai nt
ingsbylocalar t
istsandtheywi l
l
al
sobesol dattheli
brary.Ialsowantabookshop
openedtherebutseparatefrom theli
brary.Iwil
l
donatesomebookst osomeschoolki dsatt he
begi
nningofeveryyear.”

Dad:“i
t’
sagreatideaandIwi llsupportyou.I
fthe
Mayordoesn’tli
ketheidea,Iwillconvi
ncehimtolet
yourenovat
et heMunicipalLi
brar y.
”
Me:“
thanksdad.
”
Dad:“
don’
tyouneedsponsor
sforyourl
ibr
ary?
”
Me:“shouldIneedthem,Iwon’
tuseexternal
sponsorsbecauset
heywi l
lsomehowthinkthey
haveasayi nwhathappensatmylibr
ary.Ihave
f
ri
endswhowi
llbemoret
hanwil
li
ngtoi
nvestt
o
t
hisi
dea.
”Hel
ooksar
oundtheward.
Dad:“IknowIshouldn’
tbesayi
ngthi
s,butt
hankst
o
t
heut er
inebleedi
ng.Yougott
ogetsuchagreat
i
dea.”Ilaugh.

Me:“
real
lynow?
”heki
ssesmyf
orehead.
Dad:“byebaby.Let
’shopetheNtul
igir
lwil
lcome
wit
hgoodnewssoon. ”Daddoesn’tcarwhether
Mandisaisadoctorwhoismarri
ed.Hei sbusy
cal
li
ngher‘theNtul
igir
l.
’Theki
ndofdadIhave
bahl
ali.
Me:“
seeyousoondad.
”Hel
eaves.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
07:
57] :CHAPTER24
*
**NARRATED*
**
Kuhledr essedupintrackpant
swi t
halongsleeved
t-
shirtandsneakers.Sthabi
lewatchedhi
m gett
ing
dressedandshef inal
lyaskedthequesti
onthatwas
burninginsideher
.

St
ha:“wher
ear
eyougoi
ngdr
essedl
iket
hatmy
l
ove?”
Kuhl
e:“
Iam goi
ngt
othehospi
talt
oseeMi
ssCel
e.”
Stha:“
youarespendi
ngsomuchtimewit
hher.I
canseethatsheismoret
hanj
ustabusi
ness
associ
ate.I
sther
esomethi
ngIshoul
dknow
Kuhle?
”

Kuhl
e:“
whatar
eyouaccusi
ngmeofSt
habi
le?
”
St
ha:“
Iam j
ustsayi
ngt
hesedaysyouseem t
o
spendsomucht i
met ogether.IfIdi
dn’
tknowbett
er
I’
dsayyouarehavinganaf fairwit
hher.
”Kuhle
chuckl
edangri
lyandturnedt olookathi
swife.

Kuhle:“sheissickmawabo.Shei sfri
endandI
wannabet her
ef ormoralsuppor
tbecausethi
sisa
di
ffi
culttimeforher.Shouldn’
tIshowhersupport
becauseyouar et hr
eat
enedbyher ?”
St
ha:“
Iam nott
hreat
enedbyher
.”
Kuhl
e:“
thenwhati
sit
?”heti
lt
edhi
sheadtothe
si
dewit
hhishandsonhiswai
stst
ari
ngather.

Stha:“
youarefal
li
ngforherKuhl
e.Icanseeiti
n
youreyesever
yti
mehernamepopsup. ”het
ook
hisphoneandwallet
.
Kuhle:“
Idon’thaveti
meforthis.
”Hewalkedoutof
t
heirbedroom.Sthabil
eshoutedaft
erhi
m.

St
ha:“
YOUKNOW IAM TELLI
NGTHETRUTH,
THAT’
SWHYYOUARERUNNI NGAWAY.
”Kuhl
e
i
gnoredherandr usheddownstai
rs.Hefoundhis
caral
readyreadyont hedr
iveway.Hisbodyguar
d
openedthedoorforhim.Heclimbedinsideandthe
dri
verdroveout.
.
.
*
**FUTHY*
**
Zah:“
wil
lyoubeabl
etoat
tendumemul
o?”
Me:“ i
twi
lldepend.I
fIwon’tbedischar
gedthen,I
wil
laskthedoctortogivemeanhour ,j
usttoshow
myf aceandthencomebackher e.Nomapl easego
toCapeTownwi t
hXoliandhaveameet ingwitht
he
bui
ldingownerofClif
ton.
”

Xol
i:“
Idon’
tthi
nkwewi
llbel
uckyt
hist
imear
ound.
”
Me:“
wellIdon’tcar
e, asl
ongaswesecur
eit
.”
Someoneknocksatt hedoorandmoment
slat
er
Kuhl
ecomesi n.dearGodngifel
ani
?
Kuhl
e:“eveni
ngladi
es.
”Thesei
diot
sar
esmi
li
ng
fr
om eartoear.
Noma:“ wewillgowaiti
nthewait
ingroom andgive
youguyssomepr i
vacy.
”Shewigglesherbrowsand
Ijustlaugh.Theyleave,
leavi
ngmewi ththepri
nce.I
takethewi ngsthatLeeboughtf
ormeandst ar
t
eatingthem.

Me:“ youjustdon’tgi
veupneh? ”hesmi l
esand
placest hepaperbaghei scarryingi
nt hetable.He
sitsont hebedandst ar
eatme.“ UnescefeKuhl e
yezwa. ”Helaughs.Godwhat ’supwi t
hhi mt oday?
“Whyar eyoudressedli
kethis?”
Kuhle:“
Iwasn’
tgoi
ngt otheof
fi
ce,t
hat’
swhy.Ial
so
wantedtohearwhatyourdoct
or’
srepor
tsays.
”I
rol
lmyeyes.

Me:“
youdidn’
thavet
ocome.Youcoul
d’vecal
led
nj
eortext
edme.”
Kuhl
e:“
butIfeel
li
keIhadt
o.”hecomesclosert
o
meandkissesme,Ist
ophi
m whil
egiggl
ing.
Me:“
stop.Iam st
il
leat
ing.
”

Kuhl e:“
Idon’tcare.Ij
ustwannaki ssyou.”Ifini
sh
eatingmywi ngandwi pemyhands.Ipoutandhe
kissesmeagai n.Ipullhi m cl
oseranddeepent he
kiss.Goshhiski ssesleavebut t
erf
liesonmy
stomach.Thef i
rstti
meweki ssedIwasj ust
thinkingabouttheholiday.NowIam act ually
enjoyingthekiss.Idon’twanti tt
oendbuti thasto.
Afterawhi l
ewebr eakit.Il
ookathi m st
raightinthe
eyes.

Me:“
youcangonow,
Iwi
llt
extyou.
”
Kuhle:“
whyar eyouchasi
ngmeout?Ar
eyouafrai
d
thatIam goi
ngtotemptyou?
”Il
aughandshakemy
head.

Me:“getoveryour
self
.”Hestandsupandkissesme
agai
nandt henheleaves.Fewminutesl
aterSandi
le
andSakhil
ecomesi n.i
fIwasdatingSandil
emy
heartwoul
dhavebeat enoutofmychest .Ij
ust
smil
eandtheyhugme.Theyal sobroughtmeat,
fr
uit
sandyoghur t
.“Pleasepassmet heyoghur
t.
”I
saywi t
hachil
dishtoneandSakhil
el aughswhi
le
passingmeitandthespoon.Istar
teat i
ng.

Sandi
le:“
howar
eyouf
eel
ingbaby?
”Ishr
ug.
Me:“Idon’
tknow.Iam scar
edthati
tmightreal
lybe
cancer
.Iam j
usthopingandpr
ayingthati
t’
s
somethi
nglessscaryandtr
eat
able.
”
Sakhil
e:“youdon’thavetobe.Weal lknowt hatyou
aregoingtobeokay.Wear eprayi
ngf oryou.We
servealivi
ngGodandwear ehopi
ngt hatthe
resul
tsarenotthatbad.”Inodandt urntolookat
him.Ithenburstoutlaughi
ng.

Me:“manIneverpi
ctur
edyouast
her
eli
gioust
ype.
”
Theybot
hlaugh.
Sakhi
le:“
whosai
drapper
sdon’
tbel
ievei
nGod?
”
Me:“
LilWaynedoesn’
t.
”
Sakhi
le:“
yourbr
otherdoes.Thatshoul
dputyouat
ease.
”
Me:“
what
ever
.”

Wecont inuechat tingandt heyalsol eave.Af ew

moment slaterMandi saget sinwithanur se.Ical
l
mypar entsandt heygett omywar dqui ckly
becauset heywer eint hewai ti
ngroom.Mandi sa
greet
st hem andonl ydadgr eetsback.Mymom i s
bit
inghernai ls,
whi chmeansshei sner vous.Ihope
thatwhatMandi sahast osaywon’ tstressmom
thatmuch.Mandi sat akesof fherglassesandput s
thefi
leint hebed.Shecl earsherthroat.

Mandi sa:“
wel lthegoodnewsisthatyoudon’thave
cancer.”Ibreatheoutloudandmom al sost
ops
bit
inghernai l
s.“ Youhavewhati
scalleda
Polycysti
cOvar ySyndr ome.
”
Mom:“
isi
tnotdeadl
yascancer
?”
Dad:“
mkamil
etherf
ini
sht
alki
ng.
”
Mom:“If
eell
ikesheist
alki
ngi
nsl
ow-
mot
ion.
”
Mandi
sachuckles.
Dad:“
youcancont
inuenkosazana.
”Shenods.
Mandisa:“Pol ycyst
icOvar ySyndr omei sadi sorder
i
nvolvi
ngi nfrequent,i
rregularorpr o-l
onged
menstrualper iods,
andof tenexcessmal ehor mone,
whichiscalledandr ogen, l
evels.Theovar i
es
devel
opnumer oussmal lcoll
ectionsoff l
uid–
cal
ledfolli
cles–andmayf ai
ltor egular
lyrelease
eggs.Idiscover edthatyouhaveanemi a.Sowhat
causedthePOSi sshortandl i
ghtmenst ruati
onin
yourcase.”

Mom:“
cani
tbet
reat
ed?
”
Mandisa:“
yes.Wewi l
lhavetoremovetheIUDand
youhavetousebirt
hcontrolpi
ll
storegul
ari
ze
peri
ods.Youalsohavetotakestat
inst
ocontrol
highchol
ester
ol.
”
Dad:“
canshehavebabi
esi
nthef
utur
e?”
Mandi
sa:“havi
ngPOSdoesn’tmeanyouwon’tget
pr
egnant
,ifyoudon’
tovul
atethenyoucan’
tget
pr
egnant
.”
Mom:“
whencanshest
artt
reat
ment
?”

Mandisa:“
assoonassher emovestheUI
D.Ihave
setanappointmentfortomorr
owwi t
ha
gynecol
ogisthere.Rel
ax,youwil
lgetwel
landyou
wil
lbeoutoft hi
splacebefor
etheendofthi
sweek.”
Me:“
that
’sgoodt
oknow.
”
Mandi
sa:“
Iwil
lseeyoutomorr
ow.
”Shet
akest
he
f
il
eandputsbackhergl
asses.
Me:“thankyousomuchMandi sa.Wit
houtyouI
would’vehavehadmylowerabdomencutopenand
t
heywoul d’ver
emovedsomethingt
hatisnoteven
t
here.”

Mandi
sa:“
Iwasj
ustdoi
ngmyj
obsi
si.
”Shesmi
les.
Mom:“ noyouareourher
o.Pl
easecometodinner
atourhousenextweekWednesdaywi
thyour
husband.Pl
easeacceptthi
sinvi
te.I
t’
sthel
eastwe
cando.”Shesmil
esagain.
Mandi sa:“okayma.Iwi lldefi
nit
elycome.Take
care.
”Shel eaveswit
ht henurse.Mom kneel sdown
andpr ays.Dadal soprayswi t
hher .Ijustdoasil
ent
prayerthanki ngGodforr emember i
ngme.They
fi
nishpr ayi
nganddadhel psmom st andup.

Me:“pleaseupdat emyf ri
endsinthewait
ingroom
andalsot el
lthem thatIwil
lseethem t
omorrow.I
needtor est
.Ifeeltir
ed.”Theycomeandhugme.
Mom:“
okaybaby.
”Theyl
eave.
.
.
*
**NARRATED*
**
Sij
abul
il
eandSi yabul
elagott othewaiti
ngroom
andeveryonestoodupwhent heysawt hem.Kuhl
e
wantedtoaskbuthedi dn’twannaappearas
for
ward.HehadseenhowFut hy’sf
atherisl
ikeso
hedoesn’twannabesubj ectedtohisint
ensegaze.
Nomawasbr
aveenought
oaskf
ir
st.

Noma:“ma,baba.Howisshe?Whatdi
dthedoct
or
say?
”ther
entssatdown.
Sij
abul i
le:“
shehasPolycysti
cOvar
ySyndrome.I
t’
s
adisor derandi
nhercase, i
twascausedbyshor
t
andlightmenstruat
ionbecauseshehasanemia
andal sobecauseoftheIUD.”
Lee:“
isshegoi
ngt
obeokay?
”

Sij
abul i
le:“yes.Shejustneedst oremovet heIUD
andt akebi rthcontr
olpi
llstoregular
izeherper i
ods.
Sheal sohavet otakestati
nstocontrolhi
gh
cholesterol.”Kuhlehadaquest ionhewant edtoask
butheknewi twouldrai
semanysuspi ci
ons, but
becausehi sancestorswor kovert
ime,Gcinoasked
thequest ionf orhi
m.

Gcino:“
willIhavenephewsandni
ecesi
nthenear
fut
ure?”everyonechuckl
ed.
Si
yabul
ela:“
yesyouwi
ll
.”
Lel
e:“
thankGod.
”
Xol
i:“
canwegoseehernow?
”
Siyabul
ela:“
shesaidsheneededtorest
.Butshe
saidyouguyscancomet omorrow.”LeeandNoma
si
ghedloudlyandleftt
hewaiti
ngroom.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
07:
57] :CHAPTER25

Lat
erthateveni
ngLeeandNomacamebackt ovi
sit
Fut
hy.Theyenteredherwar
dandshej
ustchuckl
ed.
Fut
hy:“Ishoul
d’veknownt
hatyout
wowon’
tst
ay
away.
”
Lee:“wel
lyouaren’
tchasi
ngust
hateasi
ly.
”Fut
hy
rol
ledhereyes.
Noma:“shoul
dn’
tyoubeecst
ati
cthatyoudon’
t
havecancer
?”
Fut
hy:“
Iam f
ine.Iam happy.
”

Noma:“yousuredosoundhappy.
”Shesai
d
sar
cast
ical
ly.
Fut
hy:“
anynewsonAt
henkosi
?”
Lee:“
it
’sst
il
lqui
et.I
fIdidn’
tbel
ieveinyourdreams,
I’
dsayyouwereonlybluff
ingbutIknowbetter.
”

Futhy:“maybehehasbeent oyourpl
acebeforebut
didn’tfi
ndyou.Iwi
llt
ellBut
hotogotoyourplace
andchecki ft
herei
ssomet hi
ngoutoftheor
dinary
there.”
Noma:“ yeah,maybethatpsychopat
hhavebeen
therebutdi dn’
tfi
ndyou.Ithi
nkIshoulddi
gsome
i
nf oonhi mt hatmightbestr
ongenoughtohave
himl ockedupf orawhile.
”
Lee:“heoncehadshadydeali
ngswi t
hsome
poli
ti
cianbutIdon’
twantyougetti
nginvol
ved
becausetheymightdosomethingtoharm youor
si
lentyouforgood.
”

Noma:“
honeyIhavet
ookdowngangsbef
ore.Hei
s
j
ustasmal
lfi
sh.”
Lee:“
don’
tunder
est
imat
ehi
m.”
Fut
hy:“If
eelli
keyouar egi
vinghim morecreditand
morepoweroveryou.Hei snotthatpowerfulifhe
wasabletomar ryawomanj ustbecauseshewas
car
ryi
nghischild.Thatmeanshecanbeeasi l
y
per
suaded.”Leerubbedherforeheadfur
iously.

Noma:“
anywayswhat
’snew?
”
Futhy:“
Iwannabuildmyl
ibr
aryandIwantyou
guystoinvesti
nit
.”
Lee:“youar enotevenasking,you’r
ecommanding.
”
Shel aughedandt heyalsolaughed.Shewentonto
tel
lthem aboutheri deaandtheylovedit
.Theywer
e
onboar dandtheycouldn’
twai tf
oritt
ostar
tbei
ng
operational
.
.
.
Itwasadayaf t
erFuthyremovedt heUI D.The
doctorssaidtheywillr
eleaseheronFr i
daybecause
shei sokaybutshewi l
lhavet ocontinuet akingher
medsr egularl
y.LeewasatPer f
umeGar den
shoppingforhercologne.Shepai dforitand
headedout .Shewasput tingherplasti
cbagonher
handbagwhensomeonebumpedi ntoher.Lucki l
y
theperfumewasal readyi nherbagsoi tdi dn’tf
all
.
Howevert hewoman’ sphonef ell
.Leequi ckly
pickeditupandhandedi ttoher.

Lee:“
Iam sosor
ry,
Iwasn’
twat
chi
ngwher
eIwas
going.
”Whent hewomansawLee’ sface,herf
ace
tur
nedintoafrown.SherecognizedLeebecause
herhusbandkeptmanypi ct
uresofLeei nhis
basement,st
udyandpersonalbedr oom.Shelooked
atLeewithafaceful
lofdisgust
.

Woman:“
You.
”Itwasl
ikeshespi
tt
edt
hatwor
d.
Lee:“
Iam sorrybutdoIknowyou?”sheaskedwi
th
aconfusedface.Asmuchasshehasseenmany
peopl
einherlifet
ime,
sheneverf
orgotaface.
Woman:“whatmuthidi
dyoufeedmyhusband?
”
Leel
ookedatherandthenshel
aughed.

Lee:“gi
rlIdon’tknowyou, Idon’tknowyour
husband.Ithoughtmaybeyouhadsomet hi
ngmore
i
nterest
ingtotellmebutIcanseet hatyouar
e
delusi
onal.Bye.”Sheturnedandwasaboutt owalk
awaywhenavoi ceshehaswi shedshewoul dnever
hearagaininherl i
fespokefrom behi nd.
At
henkosi
:“l
ookingbeaut
if
ulasal
waysLwah.
”She
t
urnedandlookedathi
m.
Lee:“thedevi li
sal iar.
”Shewal kedawayand
Athenkosiranaf t
erherl eavinghi
swi f
efuri
ousas
hell
.Leequi ckenedupt hepacewhenshef eltt
hat
someonewasf ol
lowingher .Shequickl
ygottothe
parkinglotandbef oreshecoul dcl
imbontohercar,
Athenkosigr abbedherar m.Herwhol ebody
shiveredwithf ear.“Whatdoyouwantf rom me?”

Athenkosi
:“whensomeonecompl
ement
syou,
you
usuall
yrepl
ywithathankyou.
”
Lee:“
notwhent
hatper
soni
syou.
”
At
henkosi
:“ahhmylove.Sti
llasf
eist
yasal
ways.I
mustsayImissedyourf
ire.
”
Lee:“l
etgoofmyhandanddon’
tevert
alkt
ome
again.
”

At
henkosi
:“buthowwhenyouandIknowthatwe
ar
esoulmatesandweweremadeforeachother
?”
Lee:“
please,
Iam beggingyou.
”Her
eleasedher
wit
hasmi leonhi
sf ace.
Athenkosi:“Iam onl ydoingthisbecauseIloveyou.
Seeyousoonmyl ove.”heperkedherlipsandwent
backi nsi
det hemal l.Leegotintothecarand
startedthecarwi t
hshakinghands.Af t
eraf ew
mi nutesofdr i
ving,sheparkedt hecaronthesideof
ther oadandcal ledMabut ho.

But
ho:“
Mabut
hohel
lo.
”Hesai
dinhi
sser
iousvoi
ce.
Lee:“
pleasecomeandgetme.Iam soscar ed.He
washere,hetouchedmeandheki ssedme. ”she
sai
dinhershakingvoicewhil
etearsstreamed
downhercheeks.Mabut hoi
nstant
lyrecognizedher
voi
ce.Hegotwor ri
edbecausehehasneverhear d
hercr
ying.
But
ho:“wher
eareyou?”shetol
dhi
m wher
eshe
wasatanddroppedt
hecall
.
.
.
Mabut hotoldThobekat hathehadt orusht ohelp
Leebecausehet houghtshewasi ndanger .They
wer ebothatthehospit
alguar di
ngthei rboss.They
havebeent hereeversinceshewasadmi tt
ed.They
slepti
nthecarandonl ywenthomet obat handget
changed.Thobekasai dheshoul dhurryandshe
wisheditwasn’tanythi
ngi mportantbecauseLee
meansal ott
otheirbossandi fsomet hingbadwer e
tohappent oher,i
twoul ddelayFuthy’sheal i
ng
process.

Mabuthodr oveoutofthehospi talandheadedt o

whereLeewas.Hegott her
eandpar kedbehind
Lee’
scar .Hewenttohersi deoft hecarand
knockedonherwi ndow.Sher ai
seherheadt olook
athim andhisheartbrokeintoami l
li
onpieces
whenhesawt earsinhiseyes.Sheopenedherdoor ,
cl
imbedoutandj ustthrewher selfinMabutho’s
arms.Hewr appedhisar msar oundherandshe
sobbedloudly.Aft
eraf ewmi nutestheybrokethe
hugandMabut howipedhert ears.
Mabutho:“wannatalkabouti
t?”sheshookherhead.
Hesighed.“Gi
vemeyourcarkeys.Iwi l
lgetZamoh
tocomeandpi ckupyourcar.”Shenoddedand
thenshetookoutherhandbag,phoneandcarkeys.
Sheclosedthedoorandhandedt hekeysto
Mabutho.TheygotintothecarandMabuthodr ove
backtothemall.“
I’
llberi
ghtback.”Hegoti
nside
themall,
lef
tthekeytohisfri
endandgotout.

Hecal l
edZamohandt ol
dhimt ocomepi ckup
Lee’scarASAP.Het hengotinsidethecarand
drovetoFut hy’
shouse.Whentheygott here,
Lee
wentst r
aighttoherr
oom.Mabut howenttothe
ki
tchenandmadeacuphotchocol ate.Hetook2
muf f
insandpl acedt
hem inatraytogetherwit
hthe
hotchocol at
e.Hewalkedint
oLee’ sroom wit
hout
knockingandf oundherchar
gingherphone.

Lee:“whati
fIwasnaked?
”Mabut
hochuckl
edand
shrugged.
Mabut
ho:“
Ithi
nkt
hismi
ghtcheeryouup.
”he
pl
acedt
het
rayonherbedsi
det
abl
e.
Lee:“allt
houghvodkami ghthavet ookmet o
cert
ainplaces,Iwil
lsett
lef orthis.”Helaughed
becausehecoul dn’
tbeli
evet hatshecanj ustswit
ch
upper sonal
it
iesli
kethat.Fewmi nutesagoshewas
cryi
ngandnowshewasbei ngherusualsar cast
ic
Lee.“Thanksthoughandt hankyouf orcomingto
myr escue.”

Mabutho:“
youdon’thavetothankme.Imaywor k
forFut
hybutIam kindofresponsi
blefort
hepeopl
e
aroundher
.Sothi
si spar
tofmyj ob.”
Lee:“st
opbei
ngmodest
,Iam t
ryi
ngt
oshow
appreci
ati
onmoss.
”Hel
aughedagai
n.

Mabutho:“
yousti
lldon’
twannat
alkabouti
t?”she
shookherheadagain.
Lee:“
nott
oday.
”
Mabutho:“
youknowt hesayi
ngthatgoes‘i
nyanga
ayi
zel
aphi’
(atr
adit
ionalheal
erhasnorecourse)
?”
Shenodded.“Youmaybeat her
apistandmaybe
ablet
ohelppeoplewitht
heirproblemsand
si
tuat
ionsbutyoualsoneedt otal
ktosomeone.A
probl
em hal
fsharedisaproblem halfsol
ved,
right
?”
shegiggl
ed.

Lee:“
yeah.Iwil
lopenupwhenIam r
eady.Fornow
Ineedtorest
.Ihaveaheadache.
”
Mabut
ho:“
doyouneedpi
ll
s?”shesmi
led.
Lee:“
don’
twor
ry.Ihavet
hem.
”
Mabut
ho:“
seeyout
omor
row.
”

Heleftanddr
ovebacktothehospit
al.Hegotther
e
andfoundThobekachat
tingFut
hyinsideherward.
Hegotinandtookaseat.Fut
hylookedathim.

Fut
hy:“
howi
sshe?
”
Mabutho:“
veryemot
ionalbutshei
sgoi
ngt
obe
okay,
Ihope.”
Fut
hy:“
whatr
eal
lyhappened?
”
Mabut ho:“
shecal l
edsayingshewasscar ed, he
heldhim andkisseshim.Shewant edmet of etch
her.Idrovether
eassoonaspossi bl
e.Ifoundher
cryi
ngandshedi dn’
ttel
lmewhyexact lyshewas
cryi
ng.”Futhycursedunderherbreathandt hey
bothlookedatherwi t
hquestioni
nglooks.

Futhy:“l
ookBut ho,Ineedyout ogot oherhouse.
Lookf orsomethingoutoft heordinar
yandr eport
backt omef ir
stbeforegoingtoher .
”Shetookher
bagandhandedhi m asetofkeys.“ Thesearekeys
toherplace.Youcangot herenow.Leavenost one
unturned.”Henoddedandt ookthem.Theyt al
ked
foraf ewmi nut
esandt henhel eftgoi
ngtoLee’s
house.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
07:
57] :CHAPTER26

Mabut hogott othehouseandst artedsearchingall

overthepl ace.Hef ound3hi ddencamer asint he
ki
tchen, l
oungeandbedr oom.Heal sofound
art
ifi
cialrosepedal sonherbed.Ther ewer eaf ew
notesf r
om At henkosist at
inghowmuchhel oves
herandheknowst hatsheal soloveshim back
becausebyt helookoft hings,shehasn’ tmovedon.
Therewasal soar edlingerieont opofherbedwi t
h
anot esaying‘ wearme’ .Mabut hocollected
everythi
ngandevent henot es.

Laterthatdayhedrovebackt othehospitalandtol
d
Futhyabouthisfi
ndings.Heal soshowedheral lt
he
creepynotesandevent heli
ngerie.Healsotook
pi
cturesofherbedbef oreshecoul dcl
eananything
up.Fut
hywasact
uallyaf
rai
dforherf r
iend.She
cal
ledNomaandtol
dhereveryt
hing.Shet hen
cal
ledKuhl
eandaskedtoseehim urgentl
y.
.
.
*
**FUTHY*
**
Iam sur prisedthati
ttookKuhle20mi nutestoget
her e.You’dswearhewaswai ti
ngf ormycall.Ifir
st
tellhim abouttherelat
ionshi
pthatLeehadwi th
At henkosi.Ithentel
lhim howthingswentsout h
andhowt heyendedupbr eaki
ngup.Il ast
lytellhim
abouthi sr et
urntoDurbanandshar eMabutho’s
findingswi thhim.

Kuhl
e:“
sowhatdoyouneedf
orme?
”
Me:“
youcanhackr
ight
?”
Kuhl
e:“
yes.
”
Me:“Ineedyout
ohackintohiscomputerorhi
s
cl
oud.Leedidment
ionthathehadsomeshady
deal
ingswit
hacert
ainpoli
ti
cian.Idon’
tknowwho
i
sheorshebutmaybehacki
ngint
ohi
sthi
ngswi
ll
gi
veust
heanswersweneed.”
Kuhl
e:“
aft
erhacki
ngt
henwhat
?”

Me:“ myfri
endsandIwi llhavet
ogat herconcrete
andadmi ssibl
eevidencethatwil
lbeal l
owedt obe
present
edi ncourt
.Weneedt ol
ockhi m upforgood.
Ifweweregangst erswewoul d’
vekil
ledhiml ong
agobutwear enot.Hehast ogotojailbecausehe
i
sadangert oLeeandt othecommuni tyatlarge.
”

Kuhle:“
don’tyouneedmyhelpjustincasei
tget
s
toodangerous?Idon’
twantanythi
ngbad
happeningtoyou.
”
Me:“wear
enotdat
ingKuhl
e.St
opcar
ryi
ngt
oo
much.”
Kuhle:“
Ican’
thel
pit
.Whati
fthepol
it
ici
anyouar
e
abouttogoaft
eri
spowerf
ulanddangerous?
”

Me:“
ifi
tget
stoughyouwi
llbet
her
etosavet
heday.
Youar
emykni
ghti
nshi
ningar
morangi
thi
?”he
si
ghs.
Kuhl
e:“shoul
dIsuspectdangeri
nallthi
s,Iwil
lpul
l
yououtandtakeovert
hiswholerevengethi
ng.For
now,Iwil
lhel
pyou.Don’tworr
y.”
Me:“
thankyou.
”

Kuhl
e:“
youcanbest
ubbor
nsomet
imes.
”
Me:“
wear
est
il
lgoi
ngt
oFancour
tri
ght
?”hesmi
les.
Kuhl
e:“
Ithoughtmaybewecouldpostponeandgo
t
herewhenyouhavefull
yrecover
ed.
”
Me:“Iam f
ineKuhl
e.Ineedthi
sholi
daytoj
ust
r
econnectwithmysel
f.Ihavebeeni
nthehospi
tal
f
ortoolong.”

Kuhl
e:“
ithasn’
tevenbeent
woweeks.
”
Me:“i
t’
ssti
llt
oolong.Don’
tfor
gettocomewi
th
yourwi
fe.Iwil
lal
sobringadate.
”
Kuhl
e:“
havi
ngamant
ouchyoui
nmypr
esencewi
ll
makemesick.
”Hemakesadi
sgust
edf
aceandI
l
aughathi
m.

Me:“Iwi
llbr
ingabucketsothatyoucanvomi
tini
t.
Readbetweenthel
ipsKuhle,wearenever
happeni
ng.”
Kuhl
e:“
howI
’
dlovet
oki
sst
hosel
ips.
”
Me:“pl
easegonowanddoupdatemeonyour
f
indi
ngs.”Hescr
atcheshi
sheadf
uri
ousl
y.
Kuhl
e:“f
inebye.
”Heper
ksmyf
oreheadandt
hen
l
eaves.

Laterthatday,Igetastr
angevisi
tfrom thegirlf
rom
the3Ddepar tment.Theonewhowor kedlateand
helpedmewi t
hthesecrethouseproject.Idon’
t
evenr ememberhername, waitIdon’tknowher
name.Sheent er
sthewardandpl acesat akeaway
ont hedesk.

Her
:“Iam sur
eyoudon’
tevenknowmyname.
”I
chuckl
eandshel
aughs.“
Iam Ar
iaRussel
l.Iam 22
yearsol
dandIl
ovepuppi
es.
”
Me:“wellIam 29andIhat
epets.
”Shel
aughsagain.
“Outofallthepeopl
ewhocoul
dvisi
tme,Iwasn’
t
expect
ingyou.Imustsayi
t’
sgreatt
oseea
dif
fer
entf ace.
”

Ari
a:“Ihavebeenwanti
ngtovi
sityoubutIwas
scar
edbecauseIthoughtyoumightchaseme
away.”
Me:“Iam act
ual
lyshockedt
hatmyguar
dsl
etyou
i
n.”
Ari
a:“
theyhaveseenmeatDCCbef
oresoIguess
t
heyknewthatIwashar
mless.
”

Me:“
howi
smycompanyhol
dingup?
”
Ari
a:“everyonei
swor ki
ngsohar
dinyourabsence.
I
t’
sliketheyareallt
ryi
ngtoi
mpressyou.
”Ichuckle.
Me:“
ast heyshoul
d.”Shetakesoutanenvel
ope
f
rom herhandbag.Shehandsittome.“Whatiti
s?”
Aria:“
Imi ghthavemi st
akenlysubmitt
edyourname
fortheAf r
icanArchit
ectureAwardsfortheBest
Archit
ectoft heYear.
”Myeyespopoutandmy
mout hgoesdr y.TheAfricanArchi
tect
ure
Organizati
ononl ynominateyouifyourworkis
i
mpr essingandi ft
heyloveit.
Me:“
theynomi
nat
edme?
”shesmi
lesandnods.

Ari
a:“evenmor egoodnewsi sthattheyhave
submittedyournamei nabusinessconf erencethat
wil
lbeinBr ooklynwher eyouwillpresentsomeof
yoursketchesi nf r
ontofanumberofbusi ness
mogulsf rom alloverthewor l
d.Youmi ghtgainal ot
ofcli
entst herebecausesomecl ient
sar ealways
l
ookingf orarchitectstobuil
dthem hospi tal
s,hotels,
schoolsandal l.
”Iqui ckl
ystandupandgohugher .
Atfi
rstherbodyt ensesbutshef inall
yrelaxesand
hugsmeback.

Me:“
youar
eamazi
ng.Ihavebeenwant
ingt
ogett
o
t
hatconf
erencef
oral ongti
mebutIguessbef
ore,i
t
wasn’
tmytimeyet.Thankyousomuch.Whenar e
t
heawardsandwheni stheconf
erence?
”

Ari
a:“t
heawardsarei
nNovemberandt
he
confer
encei
sinJanuar
y.”
Me:“Il
it
eral
lycan’
twait.Idon’tevencareifIwinthe
awardornot.Iam act
uallymor eexcit
edaboutthe
conf
erence.Youareast ar.Whateveryouwant,just
sayt
hewor dandIwi l
lgrantittoyou.”Shegiggl
es.

Aria:“
Isubmi t
tedyournamebecauseyouarean
amazingar chit
ectandboss.Idi
dn’
twantyoudoi
ng
meanyper sonalfavor
s.Youdeser
veal
lthe
recognit
ioninthewor l
d.”
Me:“
thankyouagain.
”Ihugher.“Expectadinner
i
nvi
tefr
om mymot hersoonbecauseshel i
kes
i
nvi
ti
ngpeoplel
ikeyoutodinner
.”Shelaughs.Isi
t
onmybedandshesi t
sont hecouch.
Ar
ia:“
Iwi
llhavet
opol
ishmyZul
uthen.
”Il
augh.
Me:“wher
ear
etheawar
dsgoi
ngt
obehel
dthi
s
year
?”
Ar
ia:“
Libyai
nTr
ipol
i.
”
Me:“
youaredefi
nit
elycomingwi
thmeandIwon’
t
t
akenoforananswer.”Shegi
ggl
es.
Ar
ia:“
okayboss.
”
Me:“sodoyouhaveaboyf
ri
end?
”sheshakesher
head.

Aria:“
Iam arrangedt omar rysomeonebutIdon’ t
l
ovehi m.Iactuall
yam al esbianbutmypar ents
don’twannahearanyoft hatLGBTcr ap.WhenI
wasst i
lll
ivi
ngwi t
ht hem,theyf orcedmet owear
dressesandski r
ts.Iwasl uckyt ofindthi
sj ob
becauseImanagedt ogetmysel fanapar tmentand
actual
lygetawayf rom theirjudgment alselves.
”

Me:“
whendi
dyoureal
izet
hatyouwer
eact
ual
lya
l
esbi
an?
”shebl
ushes.
Ari
a:“
Ihadagirl
fr
iendwhenIwas16yearsol
d.We
dat
edfor2yearsandt henshedumpedmewhen
shemovedint
oanot hercit
y.”
Me:“
youar
ecur
rent
lysi
ngl
e?”

Ari
a:“
wellnottechni
cal
lysingl
ebecauseIam
get
ti
ngmar r
iedinDecember .I
fIdon’
tgetmarr
ied
tot
hatguy,t
hef ol
kswil
ldisownme. ”
Me:“
yoh,
yourl
if
eishar
d.”
Ar
ia:“
tel
lmeabouti
t.
”
Me:“ butl
earnt
ostanduptoyourparents,
evenif
theydisownyou.Theywi
llregr
ett
heiracti
onsone
dayandt heywil
lcomecrawli
ngbacktoyou.”She
sighs.

Ari
a:“
IhopesobecauseIr
eal
lydon’
twannamar
ry
t
hatguy.
”

Wecont
inuet
alki
ngandaf
teranhourshel
eaves.I
restandthefol
lowingdayIam di schar
ged.Ihead
tomyhouseandr estabit.Laterintheafternooni
freshenup.Ii
nform LeeaboutwhatMabut hofound
i
nherhouseandshej ustbr eaksdowncr ying.Iask
But hot
ofindatempor ar
ybodyguar dforherinhis
companyassoonaspossi ble.IaskZamokuhl eto
drivemetomypar ent
s’house.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
07:
57] :CHAPTER27

Igettomyparent
s’houseandfi
ndpeoplebusy
movingupanddown.Itreal
lyi
sn’
tsurpr
isi
ngseei
ng
thatumemul
oi st
omorrow.Igr
eetthepensi
oner
s
andmygr andmashedsaf ewtearswhenshef i
nds
outthatIwashospi tal
ized.Iunder standwhydad
didn’
ttellherbecauseshesuf f
ersf r
om ahear t
conditi
on.Shehugsmet ight
lyandpr ays,t
hanking
Godf orkeepingmeal i
ve.Sheal sopr aysformy
speedyr ecover
y.Sheisapr ayerwar riorsoit
’s
nothi
ngnewt hatshepr ayseverywher e.

IgocheckonThandoandf indherwi thother

mai dens.Igreetandsomeofmycousi nsact uall
y
comet ohugme.It hengoinsear chofLel eand
Gcino.Ifindthem i nthebackyarddrinkingZul u
tradit
ionalbeer.IlaughwhenIseet heNt ul
i
brothers.Igoandgr eett
hem all.Sandil
est andsup
tokissmycheekandSakhi lehugsmewhi l
e
thankingmef orhelpingherreconcil
ewi thhis
girl
fri
end.Iturnandl aughwhenIseeXol iwear i
ng
i
bomvuonherf ace.

Me:“
andt
hen?
”
Xol
i:“
itwasal
astmi
nut
ethi
ng.OneofThando’
s
f
ri
endsdr
oppedoutont
hel
astmi
nut
e,soIst
epped
i
n.”
Me:“youhaveever
ythi
ngyouneedf
ort
hesecond
sessi
onandtheaft
erpart
y?”
Xol
i:“
yes.Lel
eboughtever
ythingforme,hedi
dn’
t
gi
vemet hechancet
osayno. ”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“
that’
smybr
otherf
oryou.Iwi
llseeyou
t
omorrow.”
Xol
i:“
okaysi
si.
”

IseeBusistandingontheporchwit
hherhusband.I
goandgr eetthem.Shefakesasmil
eandIal most
rollmyeyes.Hehusbandseemshappyt oseeme.
Hei sabusinessman.Therewasthisonet i
mehe
askedt obuysharesofmycompanybutIwasn’ t
selli
ng.Hetookitli
keamanbutBusididn’tseem
pleasedwiththat
.Shecall
edmeselfishand
what not
.

WhenIgett
otheki
tchenBusi
’
ski
dsr
usht
ohugme.
Theydon’tshar
ethesamesedi
mentswi
tht
hei
r
motherandtheyareact
ual
lyki
ds.

Theywoul dn’
tunderstandwhyshehat esme,evenI
don’tunderst
and.Shehast woki ds,Thabangwhois
5andSi phosethuwhoi s2.TheyspeakTshwana
andEngl i
shmostoft hetime,wellThabangspeaks
thoselanguagesbecauseSi phosethuhaven’t
l
earnedhowt ot al
kwel l
.

Thabang:“
howar eyouaunt
y?Whatdi
dyoubri
ng
forme?”If
orgotIhaveademandi
ngnephew.

Me:“Ifor
gotyourtoys.Theyarei
nmyhouse,Iwi
ll
bri
ngthem tomorrowbaby.Fornowyoucanbuy
sweetswiththi
s.”ItakeoutaR200not
efr
om my
wall
etandhandi ttohim.
Si
phoset
hu:“
Napha.
”Il
aughandal
sohandhera
R200not
e.
AuntFikile:“youarespoi
lingthesekidstoomuch.
Whatar et heygoingtodowi t
hR200?Youhave
moneyt owast eIsee.
”Ijustr
ollmyeyesandhead
backtot hel oungewherethepensionersareat
.I
canfeelthatmybodyi susedt orest
ingsoIam
al
readyt i
red.

Me:“Iwil
lseeyouguyst
omorrowmor ni
ng.My
bodyisal
readyti
redf
rom wal
kingt
hisshor
t
di
stance.
”
Mom:“youshoul
dn’tst
rai
nyoursel
ftoomuch.You
werej
ustdi
schar
gednotlongago.Youshould
act
ual
lybeinbedresti
ngri
ghtnow.”

Me:“thati
sexactl
ywhatIam goi
ngtodomama.”
Shestandsupandhugsme.Dadal sohugsmeand
thenaccompaniesmetothecar.
Dad:“ifi
twereuptome, Iwouldcarr
yyoutothecar
butthatwoulddef
ini
tel
ygi vemysist
ersmoreto
tal
kabout.”Il
aughbecauseyohauntFiki
leand
Phil
il
earetoomuchandt heyar
ealwayslooki
ngfor
anegat
ivet
hingt
osay.

Me:“Fi
kil
ehasal
readycompl
ainedaboutmegi
ving
ThabangandSi
phosethumoney.”
Dad:“seewhatIam t alki
ngabout .
”Webot hlaugh.
Wegett othecarandheopenst hedoorf orme.I
cl
imbi nsideandhecl osesthedoor .Il
owert he
windowbecauseIcanseet hathehassomet hi
ngto
say.“Pleasedon’toverworkyour sel
fandt omorrow
i
fyoudon’ tf
eelwell
,youdon’ thavetostayf orthe
wholecer emony.Even30mi nutesisenough. ”

Me:“butdad…”hegivesmehi
snonnegot
iabl
eface
andIjustnod.“
Fine.
”
Dad:“seeyoutomor
row.”Heki
ssesmyf or
ehead
andthenheadbackinsi
dethehouse.Zamostar
ts
thecaranddri
vesof
f.

Zamo:“
heisrightboss.Youshoul
drestandput
your
sel
ffi
rst
.Yourhealthshoul
dbeyournumber
onepri
ori
ty.It
’snotl
iket
heevenwon’
tgooni
f
you’
renotthere.
”
Me:“
IhearyouZamo.
”

Iarri
veathomeandheadt othekidsr oom bef or
eI
forget.Ipacktheirgift
s.Ial
waysbuygi ftsf orthem
whenIgoshoppi ng.Ipackthem andpl acet hem on
topoft hebeds.Ij usthopeIdon’
tf orgett hem
tomor row.Ithenheadt omyr oom andr emovemy
shoesandbr a.Ili
eont hebedandsendamessage
toKhomot so.Shecomest omyr oom af terashor t
whi l
e.Shesi t
sont heedgeofthebedandIcansee
thatshei swor r
iedaboutme.Shel ooksl i
keshei s
aboutt obreakdown.

K:“
iseveryt
hingokaysi
si?Doyouneed
somethi
ng?”
Me:“pl
easecookuphut
huandbeefcur
rywi
thgr
een
sal
ad.Iam f
eel
ingl
ikei
t.
”
K:“
okay.Anyt
hingel
se?
”
Me:“
wher
ear
etheguar
ds?
”

K:“Thobekawenttoseeherchil
dbutshewillbe
backsoon.ButhoaccompaniedLeetoherhouse
becauseshewantedtofet
chsomeofherst uff.
”
Me:“
okay.Youmayl
eavenow.
”
Sheheadsout
.IopenmyTVandwatchI
nsecur
e.
Tal
kaboutaseri
esful
lofawkwar
dmoment
s.
.
.
*
**NARRATED*
**
Kuhlewasseat i
nginthel oungewi thhi
sf at
herand
brothersattheroyalhouse.HeandSbohadcome
foraweekendvi sittothepal ace.Hisother2
brothersfr
om hismot her,sincet heki
nghadmany
wives,werestayingatt hepal aceful
lti
meandt hey
studiedatKingBhekuzul uHi ghSchool.
Nqabayomuziwasdoi ng15andhewasdoi ng
grade11.Simi ngezwiwas17andhewasdoi ng
grade12.Mkhul uliwas23year sandhewas
studyi
ngatMt
hashanaCol
lege,
hewast
hesonof
thesecondwi
fe.

King:“
sowhati
sitson?Youseem t
roubled.
”Sbo
chuckl
edandKuhlegavehi
m adeathstare.
Sbo:“what?Youdidn’tbri
bemetokeepquiet.
”
Kuhleattemptedt
ost anduptoat
tackSboandhi s
fat
herlaughedbeforerepri
mandi
nghim becausehe
couldseethatKuhlehadsomethi
ngtohide.

Nqaba:“bhutiweareafamil
y.Youcant
ellus
anyt
hingright?
”heaskedinanamusedtone.He
wastheclownoft hef
amily,
moreli
keGcino.
Sbo:“
sincehewon’tspeakwel
lImi
ghtaswel
ltel
l
youwhat’sbot
her
inghim.”
Kuhl
e:“goaheadDai
lySun,
publ
ishmynews.
”Sbo
l
aughed.
Sbo:“evenifyouweretocal
lmesisDol
lyIwoul
dn’
t
mindbr ot
her.
”Kuhlerai
sedhi
smiddl
efi
ngerand
Sbolaughedmor e.
Si
mi:“
Iam r
eal
lyt
ir
edofguessi
ng.Tal
kal
ready.
”

Sbo:“
hei swhipped.Heisinlovewit
hthisamazing
womannamedNt ombif
uthiCel
e.Sheisfunny,
ener
getic,ki
nd,l
oving,
sheisjustt
heperfect
womanandbr ot
herhereisheadoverheelsinl
ove
wit
hher .
”Simitookhistabl
etandwenttoGoogle,
hesearchedFuthyandf oundher.

Simi :“Name:Nt ombi f

uthiLwandl elet
huCele.Age:
29.FounderandCEOofDubandl elaConst r
ucti
on
Company.Ar chitectandEngi neer.Shei ssi
ngleand
doesn’ thaveki ds.Shei sLele’ssister,
thesinger
andr apperofBl ueDi amondMusi c.Herpar ent
sare
SijabulileandSi yabulelaCele.Baf othi
swomani s
per f
ect .Hereisani nt
ervi
ewwher eshewasasked
whenshei splanni ngonsettlingdown. ”Hepassed
thet ablettohisf atherandhi sfat
herpl ayedthe
video.Theyal ll
istenedattentivel
y.

I
nter
viewer
:“sowhendoyout
hinkyouar
edoi
ngt
o
set
tledownandst
artyourownf
ami
ly?
”Fut
hy
chuckl
ed.

Futhy:“manypeopl earemor einterestedi nmy

pri
vateaf fair
s, i
t’
sactuall
yamusi ng.AnywaysIam
mar r
iedt omycompany.Iam st i
llgoingt ogo
i
nternationalandgl obal.NoteIdidn’tincludethe
word‘ wish’.Ihadwi sheswhenIwasst il
lateenbut
nowIonl yhavevi si
onsandIpr ophesymyf uture.I
don’tknowwhenIwi l
lsett
ledownbutf ornowmy
eyesar eonmycompanyandi t
sgr owt h.ShouldI
notfindlovei nthenearf utur
e,Iwilladoptchildren
whowi l
lcar r
yonmyl egacy.Havingahusbandi s
notreallyapr iori
tyforme.”thekinggavet hetablet
backt oSimi .

Mkhul
uli
:“t
hat
’sthefut
urequeenrightt
her
e.Wife
t
hatwomanbrother.
”Kuhlescr
atchedhishead
r
oughl
y.
Kuhl
e:“
shei
snotinter
est
ed.Iproposedt
hatshebe
mysecondwi
fe.Shetol
dmet hatshedoesn’
t
wannadealwi
thmyBar
biewi
fe.
”Theyal
llaughed.

Nqaba:“wellMaMsimangoisablackBarbi
e.”The
br
otherslaughedandtheki
ngjustchuckl
ed.
Kuhle:“Ievent
oldherthatIam wil
li
ngtodivor
ce
Sthabil
einordertobewithher.Shejustdi
smissed
meagai n.WhatshouldIdofather?
”

King:“sont hi
swomani si
ndependent ,
sheis
successfulandshedoesn’ tcareaboutyourfameor
wealthorevent het
hrone.Allki
ngdomsneed
queensl i
keher .Ourki
ngdom woul dbeveryluckyt
o
haveher .WhatIcansayi sthattrybyallmeansto
pursueher .Don’tst
opuntilherlastnameisZulu.
”

Kuhl
e:“
whataboutSt
ha?
”theki
ngshr
ugged.
Ki
ng:“Iam apolygamousmansoI ’dadviseyouto
t
akeherasyoursecondwi f
ebutshedoesn’ twant
t
hatandweal lknowMaMsi mangowon’ tmake
t
hingseasyforher.Youar
ethefutureki
ng.You
knowwhatt
odoson.
”Hest
oodupandheaded
upst
air
s.

Mkhul
uli
:“sohowi
sherper
sonal
it
y?”
Sbo:“sheisavibebringer
.Sheonceinvi
tedust
oa
gettoget
herinherhouse.Shemadeusf eel
welcomedandt reat
edeveryonever
ygood.”
Si
mi:“
canwemeether
?”
Kuhle:“
no.youwillscar
eheryouhool
igans.
”They
al
llaughed.Nqabatappedhi
sphone.

Nqaba:“Ihavej
ustf
oll
owedheronI
nst
agr
am and
Twit
ter
.”
Mkhulul
i:“
mom i
sdefi
nit
elygoi
ngtoloveherand
Li
saisgoingt
oworshi
pthegroundshewalkson.”

Kuhl
e:“Iwil
ltr
ytopursueheragainbutsheisina
nostr
ingsatt
achedrelat
ionshi
pwithanotherguy
nj
e.Iam notsurei
fit
’scall
edar el
ati
onshi
pornot.I
am nothappythatheisgi
vingmycookietosome
guyyaz.”Nqabalaughedandhi
solderbrot
hers
l
ookedathim.

Sbo:“
whatdoyouknowaboutpussyNqaba?
”
Nqaba:“
comeon,Iam aZul
uman.Gi
rl
sthr
ow
t
hemselvesatme.
”
Kuhle:“youknowwhat ,t
omor r
owIam t akingt
he3
ofyout othefamil
ydoctor.Youar eallgoingtoget
vasectomy.Wedon’ tneedchil
drenbor noutof
wedlockinthiski
ngdom anddr amaf rom baby
mamaswhenIf inal
lytakethethrone.Iwantmy
rei
gnt obepeaceful
.”

Si
mi:“
whataboutSbo?
”
Kuhle:“
heisoldenoughtomakehisowndeci
sion.
”
Simisulkedbuthi
sbrot
hersj
ustgavehi
mthelook
andhegavei n.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
07:
58] :CHAPTER28

Thef ol
lowingmor ni
ngIgetupandt akeashower .I
makemybedandgetdr essedinaf l
oorlength
must ardbodycondr essandwhi t
eHi baccisneakers.
Icombmyhai rni
cel
yandj ustputmypi xiewigon.I
headt othecl osetandtakeoutaj acketIboughtfor
Thando.Ipi nR100not eswhi chamountt oR3000i n
thejacket.Ithenputiti
nt hebagt hatIam going
with.ThedooropensandLeewal ksinwi t
hwhat
l
ooksl i
kemydr essonherar ms.Sheput sthedress
ont opofmybedandsi tsdownont hecouch.

Lee:“
Imetupwi
thMami
yest
erdayatDur
ban
Centr
alandshegavemeouroutfit
s.Gci
noandLele
tookt
heir
slastni
ghtwhentheycamehere.When
areweleavi
ngvele?
”Ishr
ug.
Me:“
wheni
sNomacomi
ng?
”

Lee:“shesaidshewi l
larri
velat
erbecauseshe
wantst onyisauswithherbae,doingthemat chi
ng
outf
it
soneway. ”Il
augh.Nomacanbechi l
dish
somet i
mes.“ Don’
tworry.Sandywillbet
here.You
guyswi l
lalsodocouplegoals.”
Me:“Idon’
tneedanot
herMvel
osaga.
”Sher
oll
sher
eyes.
Lee:“
youaregoingtot
ellSandyt
owr i
teno
suspi
ciouscapt
ion,
shouldhepostyourpi
ctur
es.
”

Me:“
andwhowi
llyouposewi
th?
”
Lee:“
But
ho.
”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“
uzobul
ali
sai
nganeyabant
u.”
Lee:“
hei
smykni
ghti
nshi
ningar
morandAt
hi
woul
dhavet
ogot
hroughmef
ir
stbef
orehecanget
t
ohim.”

Me:“
That
hawonderwoman.
”Shel
aughs.
Lee:“
areyougoi
ngt
oeatbr
eakf
ast
?”
Me:“yeah.Ineedt
ot akemymedicat
ionandIal
so
needt obestr
ongforthedayl
ong.Al
thoughdad
sai
dt herei
snoneedf ormetost
ayuntilt
hewhol
e
ceremonycomestoanend. ”

Lee:“hewasr ightthough.Anywaysl
et’
sgo
downst ai
rs.Khasal readypr
eparedascrumpt
ious
breakfastforyou.”
Me:“goshnowIhavetoeatrealf
oodeveryday
becauseoft
hist
reat
ment?”shelaughs.
Lee:“
yesdear
.”Weheaddownst
air
s.

Wegettothedini
nghal
landeatbr
eakfastwit
hK,
But
ho,ThobekaandZamo.Theyal
lseem exci
tedt
o
gotoumemul o.I
fitwasupt ome, Iwoul
d’ve
postponeditbecauseIcanf eelt
hatmybodyhasn’
t
rest
edenoughbutt odayisaboutThandonotme,
andshehaswai t
edal ongtimeforthi
sday.I
wouldn’tspoi
litf
orher .

Me:“doyouguysthi nkanener gydri

nkwon’tgo
wellwit
hmymeds? ”theyallstopeat
ingandl ookat
me.“Don’tl
ookatmel i
kethat.Iwannabether efor
Thandoemot i
onal
lyandphysi call
y.I
t’
sjustforone
day.”
Lee:“
asi
pmaybewon’
thar
m you.
”
Me:“
let
’shopeso.I
sther
eanener
gydr
inki
nthe
f
ri
dge?”

Thobeka:“
yeah.Therei
sa48-packofRedbul
l.You
knowweshoul doft
endrinki
tsothatwecanbeon
thel
ookout24/7.
”
Me:“you’
retr
yingt
ot el
lmethatyoudri
nkener
gy
dr
inkseveryday?Aren’
tyouaddict
edor
somet
hing?
”theyl
augh.
But
ho:“notever
ydayboss.Whenwear
eti
redand
whenyougooutatnight
.”
Me:“
didyouf
indaguar
dforLee?
”

Butho:“
Ifoundtwo.Ifherexi
sapsychot
icasIsaw,
thenoneain’
tenough.Theysai
dtheywil
lst
arton
Monday.”
Lee:“
meani
ngIcanr
etur
ntomyhouser
ight
?”
Butho:“
yesbutyou’
dhavetochangeyourl
ocks
andincr
easesecuri
tymeasur
es.
”
Lee:“Idon’
tmind.Asmuchasbeingwit
hFut
hy
underoneroofisablast
,Iki
ndofmissmyown
space.”

Me:“
Ifeltl
iket
hatwhenIwasatthehospi
tal
.You’
re
al
sogoingtotheeventK?
”shesmil
es.
K:“
yesIam butmyfi
ancéwil
lfet
chmef r
om t
her
e.
Hewantsmet omeethi
ssi
bli
ngs.Theyst
ay
overseasandtheyar
eher
efort
heweekend.They
arr
ivedtoday.
”
Me:“wel
lyoucantaketheMondayoffandcome
backonTuesday.Xol
iandThobekawil
ldothe
cooki
ng.
”
K:“
thanksboss.
”

Wef i
nisheatingandIgobackt omyr oom.Ichange
tomynewdr essandwearamat chingheadwr ap
caref
ullyontopofmyweave.Iappl ysomemake- up
on.Idon’tchangemysneaker sbecauseIam noti n
themoodofwear ingheelst
oday.Ipackmyst uffi
n
mynavyhandbagandal sotakethebagwi t
h
Thando’sjacket,
andheadoutaf tertaki
ngmy
Lambor ghi
nikeysandt heX1keys.Igetdownst ai
rs
andfindmyhousemat esreadyandl ooki
ngsuperfl
y.
Ihandt hekeystoZamo.

Me:“youaredri
vingt
helambotodayandButho,
”I
thr
owt heX1keystohim,“
handl
ewithcar
e.”He
chuckl
es.
But
ho:“
sur
eboss.
”
Me:“Ipackedtoysformynieceandnephew.They
areinthei
rroom ontopofthei
rbeds.Pl
easeget
them f
orme. ”ThobekaandKquickl
yrushther
e.

Wegoout sideandwai tforthecar si nthedriveway.

Fewmoment slatertheypar kt hem infrontofus
andwehopon.It extLeeaski nghert or ef
il
lthe
Beamert ankandIt hent r
ansf erfuelmoneyt oher.I
tellZamot opassbyt hegar agesot hatwecanf uel
up.Wedr iveoutandmi nutesl at
erwegett ot he
gar age.Thepet r
olattendant sattendt ous.Iseea
bunchofboyssi nging,wear ingsocceruni f
orm.
Whent heseet hetwocar st heygocr azyandst art
takingvideos.Igetoutoft hecarandheadi nside
theshop.Ibuycof feeatWi mpy.Iheadout sideand
findt hem surroundingt hecar s.Af ewt urntome.

Boy1:“
youar
eNt
ombi
fut
hiCel
ethear
chi
tect
?!”I
smil
e.
Me:“
yept
hat
’sme.
”It
akeasi
pofmycof
fee.
Boy2:“
Iloveyourcar
.”
Me:“
wel
lthankyou.Ar
eyouguys’
hungr
y?”
Them:“
YES!
”
Me:“let’
sgoinsi
deWi mpysot
hatIcanbuyfoodfor
y’
all
.”theyal
lcheerandweheadi
nside.Leef
oll
ows
behi
nd.

Lee:“
Iwi
llbuydr
inksandsnacksf
ort
hem.
”
Me:“t
hanksfr
iend.
”It
urnt
otheboys.“
Whatdoyou
guyswant?
”
Boy3:“burgerandf
ri
essi
si.I
t’
sabet
teropt
ionf
or
ever
yone.”
Me:“
howmanyar
eyouguys?
”
Boy1:“23.
”Inodandorderburgersforalloft
hem
wit
hfri
edchipsand4fullchi
ckens.Ithenorderi
ce
cr
eam foral
loft
hem andhandt hem thei
rrecei
pts.
Them:“
THANKYOUSI
SI!
”
Me:“you’r
ewelcome.Now3ofyou, comewithme
sothatyoucangetyourdrinks.”Weheadtowhere
Leeisatandshehandst hem thedr
inksandthe
snacks.Theythankheragainandwegetintothe
carsanddrivehome.
Zamo:“youreallyareanangelandalocalhero.I
am pr
ettysuretheircoachhadafewbuckst obuy
foodf
ort hem butyouhavejustsavedhi
m big
ti
me.”

Me:“it
’st
heli
tt
lethi
ngswedothatcount
s.Pl
usthi
s
j
ustgavemeani deabutIwi
l
lstar
tworki
ngonit
nextyear
.”
Zamo:“Iwi
shtobeyourkid.
”Il
augh.“Becauset
hen
I
’dhaveagoldenhear
tli
keyour
s.”Ismil
e.
Me:“
thanksZamo.
”

Wegethomeandf i
ndtheguestsal
readymovi
ngto
thef
iel
d.Wegetoutofthecar
sandf ol
lowt
hem.
Zamoiscar
ryi
ngacampchai rformeandKisa
carr
yingbott
ledwat
ereventhoughIdidn’
taskher
.
Wegett her
eandweheadt owheremyf amil
yis
seated.ZamoopensthecampchairformeandIsit
down.Thandoandthemai densst
artdanci
ng.

Gogo:“
howareyouf eel
ingt
odayMzukulu?
”Itur
n
t
olookatherbecausesheissi
tt
ingnearme.
Me:“
Iam st
rongert
odaygogo,
thanksf
oraski
ng.
Howareyou?”
Gogo:“Iam f
ine.Ir
ememberlikei
twasjust
yest
erdaywhenyouwer eal
sodancingli
kethi
son
yourumemul o.
”Igi
ggl
eandl ookdown.Iknowthe
quest
ionthatisgoi
ngtofol
low.

Me:“gogot
hatwassometimeago.Ther
ei s
somethi
ngIshoul
dtel
lyouguysbutIwi
llcomesee
youi
nyourhousemaybeonWednesday.”
Gogo:“whydon’
tyoutel
lmetoday?WhatifIdi
eon
TuesdayorWednesdaymorni
ng?”Ij
ustl
augh
becausegogodoesn’
thaveaboneofpat
iencein
herbody.

Me:“t
odayisaboutThandogogo,her.
”Isay
poi
nti
ngatThandowhoi scomingourway.Ilaugh
whensheputsthespearri
ghtinf
rontofme.“Oww
i
t’
sli
kethatnow?”shejustl
aughsandgoesbackto
whereshewas.

Butho:“
wearealsogoingwit
hyousot
hatwecan
goonceandnotdoupsanddownsesigcawi
ni
sengane.
”LeeandIlaugh.
Istandupandweheadt owher eThandoi s.She
kneelsdownwhensheseesusandt heguards
togetherwit
hLeeandKst artpinningmoneyonher
head.Nomacomeswi t
hherbaeandt heyalsopin
moneyonThando’ shead.Whent heyaredonet hey
stepasideandItakeoutt hejacketfrom thebag.I
placeitonhershouldersandshel i
teral
lygoes
crazy,egi
yaesigcawini
.
Wet hengot oXoliandalsopi
naf ewnotesonher .
Shej ustdoesvoshosandwel aughather .You
wouldn’tsaythatXolii
sthesameNomxol isiwho
wasshynotsol ongago.Peopledochange.Iam
justhappythatshegotoutofhershellandher
kindnessampl i
fi
ed.Wegobackt owherewewer e
seatedandj ustwatchastheceremonycont i
nues.

Voice:“amomentMi ssCel
e.”IturnandseeSandy.
Ijustchuckleandstandup.Weheadasi dewhere
thereislesspeopl
e.Somepeopl earerecognizi
ng
him andsomear ejustaski
ngt otakepictur
eswith
him.Het ell
sthem t
hatheiscomi ngback.Hehugs
met ight
lyandIjustlaugh.

Me:“
missedmet
hatmuch?
”
Sandy:“
youhavenoi dea.WhatImissthemosti s
bei
ngburieddeepi
nsideyouMaNdosi .”YohIjust
tur
nandlooktheotherwaysot hathecan’tseethat
Iam bl
ushingandactuall
ytur
nedon.
Aphot ogr aphercomesourwayandaskst ot ake
phot osofus.Byt hewaySandyi swear ingnavy
cottonpant sandanavyshor tsleevedt-shi rtwit
h
i
zimbadadaandumqhel e.Itkindalooksl ikewear e
mat ching.Anywaysweposef orthecamer aandI
knowt hatSandi l
eisgoingtopostt hesepi ctureson
hissoci almediaaccounts.Het akest hecel lphone
numberoft hephotographerandshepr omi sesto
callhim assoonast hepicturesar eavailabl e.

Sandy:“
canIt
akeyououtmaybeonMonday
ni
ght?”
Me:“ t
hereissomethingIshouldtellyou.”Hisface
i
nst antlychangestoawor ri
edexpr essi
on.“ Relax.
It’
snot hingint
ense.Iam goingtoFancour tHot el
thiscomi ngweekendwi t
habunchoff r
iendsf ora
weekendget awayandIneedadat e.”Hebr eathes
outl oudandIj ustl
aughathi m.

Sandy:“
whenar
ewesupposedt
oleave?
”
Me:“
Fri
daymor
ning.
”
Sandy:“Iwoul
dbehonoredtoaccompanyyoumy
queen.
”Hesayswi t
hasmi l
e.Myminddrif
tsto
Kuhleforasecondandt
henIturnbacktoSandy.
Me:“l
et’
sgobackt
oever
yonebef
oredadki
ll
syou.
”
Helaughs.
Sandy:“
FYIhel
ikesme,
heevencal
ledmeson.
”
Me:“i
fheknewyouwereshaggi
nghisdaught
er,
his
l
oveforyouwil
lbedepl
etedmi
racul
ousl
y.”He
l
aughsandIjoi
nhim.

Lat eronweheadbackhomeandpeopl eareserved

food.Thesecondsessi onst art
sandIgosi twhere
theushert akesme.That haThando.Whohi res
usher sata21stbirthdaycel ebrat
ion?The
progr ammest ar
tsandpeopl esayt heirspeeches.I
am shockedwhenIheart heMCcal li
ngmyname.I
standupandheadt ot hest age.Shehandsmet he
mi c.Whatt hehel
lam Igoi ngt osay?Letmej ust
nott alkaboutherandjustadvi seher .Yeahthatwil
l
do.
Me:“Hieveryone.Thenamei sNt ombifut
hiCele,
Thando’
sol dersist
er.IknowIam expectedtosaya
l
otbutIwillonlytakeami nut
e.”Iturnt
of ace
Thando.Shel ooksli
keagoddessandwhoevert hat
di
dhermake- updidasplendi
dj ob.Sheiseven
weari
ngaf lowerycrownonherhead.

Me:“ youl ookbeaut i

fulNombedu. ”Shebl ushesand
l
ooksdown.“ Iwantt ofocusont hef utureandnot
thepast .Youar eabr ightgirl
.Youhavet hatfir
ein
yout hatjustlight supever ywhereyougo.Don’ tlet
otherpeopl etel
lyouot herwise.Mygi fttoyout oday
i
sver ycr ucial.Iknowyouhavepassi onin
designingandwi shest ogr owmor ei ntheindustry.
That’swhyIgotyouenr oll
edatLondonCol legeof
Fashionf orBA( Hons)Fashi onDesi gnand
Development ,andIpai dupf ront
.Youar etostart
nextyearJanuar y.”Shej umpsof fherchai rand
rusht opul lmei ntoahug.Tear sar estreaming
downherf ace.
Thando:“ar
eyousur e?
”Ijustl
aughather
.Thando
waslikethi
swhenshewasyoung.You’ dt
ellher
somethingandshe’dbeli
ke‘ar
eyousure?’t
hati
s
heral
ltimeresponsetoshocki
ngnews.
Me:“a100%.Iwantyout ogrowmoreint he
i
ndustr
yandr ai
setheCel ef
laghi
gherthanLel
eand
Idi
d.Thisfamil
yisfullofGOATSandyouar enow
oneofthem.”shebreaksthehugandlooksatme.
Thando:“
thankyousi
si.
”

Me:“youarewel come.Nowwipethoset
earsaway
becausethisdayisn’
taboutt
ear
s.”Shel
aughsand
wipeshertears.Webothgobacktoourseat
s.

Theeventconti
nuesbutIleaveearl
yt hanmostof
thefamil
ymember s.LeeandThobekast ayfort
he
aft
erpart
yandNomal eaveswithherbaesayi ng
sheiscomingbackt othepart
y.Youcant akeNoma
outofcl
ubbingbutyoucan’ttakeclubbingoutof
Noma, i
fyougetme.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
07:
59] :CHAPTER29

Thefoll
owingaf t
ernoonwear eseatedathomei n
thepati
o.Mostoft heguest shaveleft
.Theonl y
peopl
ewhoar eherenowar emygr andparentsand
Busi’
shusbandandki ds.Igavet hem thei
rgiftsthi
s
morningandt heywentcr azy.Thei
rmot herthanked
mebutIcoul dseet hatitdidn’tcomef r
om theheart.
Itwasforced.GodIwi shonedayyoucoul dreveal
whatIdidtoyourdaught erBusi.
Gogo:“
sowhatisi
tthatyouwantedtotel
lme
Mzukul
u?Ifi
gur
edIcouldn’
twaitanylonger.
”Ij
ust
l
aughather
.SeewhatIwast al
kingabout.Shei
s
t
hequeenofimpat
ience.
Dad:“
whatar
eyout
alki
ngaboutma?
”
Gogo:“wel
lyourdaughterhast
hishuge
announcementthatshewantst
omake.”

Busi
:“maybeshehasf
inal
lyfoundsomeonewho
want
st omarr
yher.
”Ij
ustrol
lmyeyes.
Mom:“ wellt
alkmissy.Ti
mewon’twaitf
oryou.”I
f
shewasgogo’ sdaughter
,Iwoul
d’vesai
dli
ke
motherli
kedaughter.Il
ookdownandplaywithmy
hands.

Me:“wel
lIkindofpossibl
ymayhavebeen
nominat
edf ortheBestAr
chi
tectoft
heYearf
ort
he
Afr
icanArchit
ectureawar
ds.
”Isaythei
mport
ant
par
tsinawhi sper.
Gci
no:“volumesisi
.”Weal
llaugh.Idon’
tknowwhy
Iam suddenlyscar
redt
otel
lthem thi
s.
Me:“ Ihavebeennomi natedfortheBestAr chit
ect
oftheYearf ortheAf ri
canArchitectureawards.”
Mamaandgogost andupandst artulul
ati
ng.They
knowt hisisaver yhugedealf orme.Dadj ust
standsupandpi cksmeup.Hespi nswithmei nhis
armsandIj ustgiggleli
kea5yearol d.Hefinal
ly
putsmedownandt hefamilyattacksmewi t
hhugs.
EvenBusihugsme.Theyf i
nall
yset tl
edown.

Dad:“t
hisisver
yhugebabyandIknowyouare
cominghomewi tht
hatawar
d.Ial
readyknowwher
e
toputi
t.”Il
augh.
Me:“
aren’
tIsupposedt
oputi
tinmyhouse?
”
Dad:“notthi
sonebaby.Maybesomet
ocome.
”I
cont
inuelaughi
ng.
Me:“wellt
hat
’snotall
.Ihavefoundaslotto
pr
esentmywor kattheebusinessconf
erencei
n
Br
ooklyn.”
Lel
e:“yohsisiyouar
edoi
ngt
het
hingsandIam so
happyforyou.”
Gcino:“angi
thiyouaret
aki
ngmewi
thyout
o
Brooklyn?”wealll
augh.
Me:“
whyyou?
”
Gci
no:“
Iwannaexpl
oreAmer
ica.
”
Me:“don’
tyouwannavi
sitThandoi
nLondonwhen
shestar
tsstudyi
ngt
her
e?”
Gci
no:“
Iam st
il
lgoi
ngt
oaskmoneyf
ort
hat
.”Ij
ust
l
aughshaki
ngmyhead.

Mom:“
wher
eisshegoi
ngt
ost
ay?
”
Me:“ oncampus.Ever ythi
ngi ssett
ledma.Al lshe
needsi stogot hereJanuary.ButifIwereyou
Thando, I’
dgoi nDecembersot hatIcanfami l
iar
ize
mysel fwiththeplace,sothatwhent heti
mecomes
foryout ostartstudyi
ng,youwi l
lknowmost
surroundingar easofwhereyouwi llbestudying.
Justdon’tcomebackwi thaBr i
tishbaby.
”She
l
aughs.

Gci
no:“pl
easedon’tcomebackwithMai si
e
Ri
chardson-
Sell
ers’accent
.”Weal
llaugh.Il
ovet
hat
woman’saccentyoh.
Thando:“owwpleasebrot
her,
neverwoul
dIchange
myAf r
icanaccent
.”ShesaysinMaisi
e’
svoi
ceand
wejustlaugh.

Wel lIor
gani zedThando’ sgi
ftsincethebeginni
ng
oftheyear.Shemi ghtbeBusi’
spuppetbutshei s
sti
llmylitt
lesi st
erandIonl ywantwhat ’
sbestfor
al
lmysi blings.Whenshegr aduateIwillgi
veher
capitalt
ost artherownbout ique.That’
showmuchI
l
oveher .Inf actIloveallmysibli
ngs,evenBusi,
i
nsaneIknow.
Weeatlunchwhi l
et al
kingaboutumemul o.Thando
act
uall
ygotR16000cashpl usgif
ts.Thekidisri
ch.
Ofcourseshedidn’tbri
ngaboyf ri
endbecausedad
would’
vesurel
ykill
edt hatboy.Daddoesn’tpl
ay
whenitcomestohi sdaught er
s.Ithi
nkhewoul d
giveanymanahar
dti
mewheni
tcomest
ous,
even
thepresi
dent
.

WhenSabel obrokemyhear t,Iwentbackhomeand

tol
dmom abouti t.Shejustl
iedtodadandmadeup
ashitstory.WhenBusi ’
shusbandaskedf orher
handinmar r
iage,hemadehi m workforitforayear.
Yepthat ’
showhar dheadedmyf at
heris.Mot her
evenintervenedandt omakemat t
ersworse, Busi
gotpregnantwi thherfir
stchil
d.Dadactuallybeat
theli
vingshitoutofhi m.Aft
erthatheaccept ed
thei
rrelati
onship.

Dad:“
soareyougoi
ngt
ospendt
heni
ghther
e?”he
asksl
ooki
ngatme.
Me:“ noIhavetogobackt omypl ace.Ineedt o
prepareforworkdad.Andbef oreyoutal
kabout
rest
ing,Iam fi
nenow.Ifeelstrong.I
fIdon’tfeel
goodIpr omisethatIwi
llr
est.Myguar dswillmake
sureofthat.
”
Lel
e:“
speaki
ngofguar
ds,
dadcanyoupl
easegi
ve
mepermissi
ontoaskThobekaout
?”weal
llaughat
hi
m.Thissil
lycr
ushhehasonThobekai
smaki ng
hi
m docrazyshi
t.

Gcino:“br
otherplease.Thatwomanistakenbyme.
Sheevencal l
edmeGci .Soonshewil
lbeMr s.
Gcinokuhl
eCel e.
”Wecont inuel
aughi
ng.Iam glad
thatsheisnother ebecauseshewould’
veprobabl
y
punchedthem int heface.
Mkhul
u:“
whoi
sthi
swomanyoubot
hseem t
obe
t
akenby?
”
Mom:“ I
t’
sLwandle’
sguar
d.Shei
sver
ybeaut
if
ulso
Iam notsur
pri
sed.”
Gogo:“
awomant hati
sabodyguar
d?Cl
ear
lyshei
s
danger
ousandscary.
”

Lel
e:“
actuall
ygogoshei sfierceandherpr esence
commandsat t
ent
ion.Herpersonali
tyisgreat.The
wayshesmi lesmakesyouwannat ransf
erl obol
a
moneyinstantl
y.Imeangogohaveyouseenher ?
”I
l
ookatmybr otherandIcanseet hathei
sr eally
takenbyThobeka.Ihaveneverheardhim speak
aboutawomanl ikethi
sbefore.Butwhydi dithave
tobeawomanwhoi nt
imidat
eshiml i
kethis?This
willbef
untowat ch.If
oldmyar msandsi tback.

Me:“Iam patient
lywai
ti
ngf ort
hedayyoufi
nal
ly
askherout.Thisisgoi
ngt obesomuchfun.
”Gcino
andThandol augh.Dadlooksatme.
Dad:“andwhenar eyougoi
ngt
ointr
oducea
potent
ialhusbandtous?
”myeyespopout.Myown
fat
heralter
ingthosewor
ds?Wonder
snevercease
toamazeme.

Me:“hawubaba”Iplacemyhandonmychestt o
showhim howshockedIam.Theyalll
augh.“
Why
areyoubeingl
iket
his?”hel
aughs.
Dad:“
don’tshyawayf
rom t
hequest
ionMi
ss
I
ndependent.
”
Me:“
ohhi
t’
sli
ket
hatnow?
”hecont
inuesl
aughi
ng.I
st
andup.“
WellMi
ssI
ndependentsaysbye.
”They
l
aughagai
n.
Gci
no:“si
siyoupr
eferl
eavi
ngi
nst
eadofanswer
ing
j
ustonequesti
on?
”

Me:“Ifeelli
keIam bei
ngattackedri
ghtnow.Ican’t
answeryouguysi ntheabsenceofmyl awyer
.Ijust
can’
t.Ifeelli
keIwi
lli
ncri
minatemyself.
”They
cont
inuel aughi
ng,
dadhast earsonhiseyes.
Mom:“yohayyyouarecl
earl
yyourf
ather
’s
daught
erLwandl
e.Yohmtanami.
”Shewipesher
tear
s.
Me:“byeguys.
”It
akemystuffandheadout.That
wi
llt
eachdadnevertoaskt
hewr ongquest
ions.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
07:
59] :CHAPTER30
Zah:“bossyouwon’ tbel
ievethis.”Shesayswhile
enteri
ngmyof ficecarryi
nghert ablet.Igi
vehermy
undivi
dedattention.Sheseemsexci ted.I
t’
s
Tuesdaymor ning.Ireportedfordut yyest
erdayand
myempl oyeeswer esohappyt ohavemeback.I
shouldfindaviceCEOwhowi l
ltakecareofthi
ngs
i
nmyabsent i
asot hatIdon’thavet oworrywhen
somet hi
ngli
ket hishappensagai n.

Me:“
wel
ldot
ellZanel
e.”
Zah:“youhavebeennomi nat
edfortheAf r
ican
Archit
ectur
eAwar dsandyouhaveal sobeeninvi
ted
totheebusinessconf
erencei
nBr ooklyn.
”Herface
l
ightsup.
Me:“
IknowZah.Ar
iasubmi
tt
edmynamet
othe
AAA.
”Shefr
owns.
Zah:“
Ari
athenewbi
efr
om t
hedesi
gndepar
tment
?”
Me:“
theoneandonl
y.”

Zah:“that’
sawesomeboss.”Shecomestohugme.
“Ishoulddefi
nit
elysendagoodi
eshampertoheras
anappr eci
ati
ongift
.”
Me:“
you’
regeni
us.Whydi
dn’
tIt
hinkoft
hat
?”
Zah:“
oneofther easonswhyyouhi r
edme.Ido
mostofthethinki
ngar oundhere.
”Il
aughatherand
shesmir
ks.“Anywayst heAAAwantedtoknowthe
numberandnamesoft hepeopl
eyouaregoi
ngto
comewithsot hattheycansetupyour
accommodation.Themaxi mum numberforyour
guest
sis5.”

Me:“wowokay.I
twil
lhavetobemyguar dsthen
youandAri
a.I
fmypar ent
sandfriendswantto
come,t
heywil
lhavet
osor toutt
heirowntr
ansport
andaccommodati
on.
”
Zah:“
youar
eli
abl
eforyourownf
li
ght
s.Theyar
e
j
ustgoi
ngt
otakecar
eoft
heaccommodat
ion.
”
Me:“t
hat’
sfi
nebyme.Pl
easeremi
ndmet
obuya
pr
ivat
ejeti
n5year
stocome.”

Zah:“yesboss.
”ShehypesandIj
ustlaugh.“About
theconfer
ence,t
heywantedt
oconfi
rmi fyouare
comingornotsothatt
heycansecur
eyourseat .
”
Me:“youknowtheanswert
othat.DoIhaveany
appoi
ntmentsschedul
edf
orFri
day?”
Zah:“umm,”shelooksthroughhert ablet.“Youhave
an8:30breakf
astmeet i
ngwi thMr .Ncanana, he
wantsyoutoredesignhisfarm houseandyouhave
an11:00meetingwithProfessorDemer y,hewants
tobuil
danewhospi talandrenovat ehi
st wo
exi
sti
nghospital
sand1sur gery.
”

Me:“
wowt
hat
’sal
otofmoney.
”
Zah:“
sikhandai
zakael
onyakaboss.
”Il
augh.
Me:“
Iwil
lhavetodothei
rsket
chespr i
orsothatI
canj
ustpr
esenttot
hem thefi
nishedproduct
.”
Zah:“
that
’sagr
eati
dea.
”

Me:“Wi
tsi
sdoingadi
nneri
nmyhonori
n18
Sept
ember
.Areyougoi
ngtocomewi
thme?
”
Zah:“
thatgoeswi
thoutquest
ionboss.Doyouhave
accommodationf
orthat
?”
Me:“wewil
lsl
eepatLel
e’shouse.WaitdoesKuhl
e
haveapr
ivat
ejet
?”shetapsonhertablet
.

Zah:“
yeshedoes.Hehasoneofhi
sownandt
he
pal
acealsohasoneandal
soachopper
.”
Me:“t
hat
’sgoodthen.Don’
tfor
gett
osendt
hose
goodi
est
oAr i
a.”
Zah:“
yesboss.
”Sheexi
tsmyof
fi
ce.
.
.
IgobyNandostobuyafullchi
ckenwi throll
sand
chi
ps.Ial
sobuya2lofLi
quif r
uitj
uice.Ialsobuya
ful
lchi
ckenf
ormyguards.Zamot hendr i
vesmet o
Kuhle’
scompany.Thi sisabri
beandIam al so
goingtousehi sfeelingsformet ogetwhatIwant.
Wegett hereandMabut hocar
riesthefoodforme.
Wef i
ndt hereceptionistbusychatt
ingwith
someoneont hephoneandi tseemsl i
kean
i
nterest
ingconver sation.Wewoul dbedevil
’s
advocatestodi st
urbsuchsowej ustpassherand
headtot heelevator.

Wef i
nall
ygett oKuhl e’sofficeanditwasn’
tdiff
icul
t
fi
ndingitbecausei tisont helastfl
oor.Mabutho
handsmet hefoodandgoest ositonthebench
neartheelevator.Itel
lhimt ogobackt othecarand
hejustroll
shiseyes.Il augh.Thedoort ohisoffi
ce
i
sopensoIj ustletmysel fin.heistal
kingt
o
someoneont hephoneandhashi sbackonme.I
j
ustplacet hefoodont hetableandgot osi
tonhi s
chair
.Hej umpsupwhenheseesmeandIj ust
fl
ashani nnocentsmi le.

Kuhl
e:“
okay.Wewi
llt
alkl
ater
.”Heendst
hecal
l
andl
ooksatmewi
thhi
shandsonhi
spocket
s.
Me:“
gooddaymypr i
nce.Ihopeyouhaven’
teat
en.I
br
oughtyoul
unch.
”Hechuckles.
Kuhle:“
whenmywi f
esuddenl
ybri
ngsmel uncht
o
work,Iknowt
hatshewantssomet
hing.Iknowhow
youwomenwor k.Sotel
lmeMaNdosiwhatdoyou
want?”

Me:“canweeatf ir
stNdabezitha?ImeanIam
star
ving.”Helaughsshaki nghisheadandsi t
son
thechairoppositemine.Idishupf orthebothofus
andhandhi m hi
sfood.Ialsopourt hejui
cef orhim.
“Gonear ethosedayswhenr oyalswouldn’teatfood
from arandom someone. ”Hel aughsagain.
Kuhle:“
youdon’ tlovemeMaNdosisoyoucoul dn’t
possibl
yputal ovepot iononthisfood.Youal
so
wouldn’
tputpoi sont otryandkil
lmebecauseyou
haveagoodhear t.That’swhyIam accepti
ngyour
foodwithoutanysuspi cions.ButIdoknowthatyou
wantsomet hi
ng. ”Ilaugh.
Me:“al
wayssuspici
ousmypr i
nceneh.
”Hej ust
doesn’
tansweranddigsin.Ial
soeatmyf ood.The
Nandossauceisdoi
ngt hethi
ngsshame.“ Sohow
manykidsdoyouhaveandhowol darethey?”
Kuhle:“It
houghtyouknewever
ythi
ngaboutme
baby.”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“
wel
lIdon’
t.
”
Kuhle:“ Amahleis3yearsoldandZwel ibanziis7
yearsol d.Zwelii
ssoquietandhumbl e.Hei snot
troublesomelikemostkids.Myf atheroncesai d
thathei sport
rayingqual
iti
esofbei ngat rueleader
atayoungerage.Hi ssi
sterontheot herhandyoh.
Shei sadr amaqueenandshei sj ustlikeher
mot her.”Il
augh.

Me:“
theyseem l
ikegr
eatki
ds.MaybeIwil
lmeet
t
hem someday.”Hestopseat
ingandl
ooksatme.
Kuhl
e:“
myl
ovedoyoumeant
hat
?”Il
augh.
Me:“
SomedayKuhl eandIwil
lmeett
hem asyour
f
ri
endnotyoursecondwif
e.”
Kuhl
e:“
wewi
llseeaboutt
hat
.”Ichuckl
e.

Me:“ Ialsohaveki ds,wellmysister

’schil
dren.They
l
iveinNor t
hWest .Thabangi s5year soldand
Siphoset huis2year sold.Theycanbever y
demandi ngsomet i
mes.Thi sweekendt heywere
homef orThando’sumemul o.Thabangasked
wher etheirtoysareandIgavehi m moneybecause
Iforgotthem atmyhouse.Si phosethuwasl i
ke
‘
napha’ .Myaunt iewascompl ai
ningaboutwast i
ng
moneyont hem.”helaughs.

Kuhl
e:“
Iwi
sht
omeett
hem.
”Isi
gh.
Me:“mysi st
erandIdon’tseeeyetoeyesowhenI
wishforthem t
ovisi
t,Iwil
lhavetoaskmom total
k
t
oher .Iknowitwi
llt
akeawhi let
oconvinceher
.”
Hefrowns.

Kuhle:“
whyareyouguysnotbestoff
ri
ends?I
neverevenf
oroncesawyoursist
ersatt
hehospi
tal
whenyouwer
eadmi
tt
ed.
”
Me:“Iam cluel
essjustl
ikeyou.”Hel
ooksconfused,
Ij
ustlaughtobrushthisoff
.Ifini
sheat
ingand
st
andup.“ Whereisyourbathroom?”
Kuhle:“
thr
ought
hatdoor
.”Hepoi
ntsi
tandIgo
t
here.

Iwashmyhandsandwhi l
eIam dryingthem, he
comest ostandbehindme.Hepur posefullybend
towardsthesinkmakingmebendf orwardjusta
l
itt
le.HeissoclosetomeIcanl i
terall
yfeelhim
breathi
ngdownmyneck.Hei st
ryingt oseduceme
andi t
sworkingbutIwon’tgi
vei
n.hewasheshi s
handsandal sodrythem.Hetur
nsmet olookat
him andIrushoutbeforehecankissme.He
chuckles.

Kuhl
e:“
onedayyouwon’tbeabl
etoescape.
”I
l
aughandret
urnt
ohischair
.
Me:“
soIneedyourpr
ivat
ejett
otr
anspor
tmet
o
Li
byaandBrookl
yn.
”Isayl
ooki
ngathi
m ashei
s
si
tt
ingdown.
Kuhl
e:“
whoar
eyouf
etchi
ngt
her
e?”Ichuckl
e.

Me:“I
nLibyaIam goi
ngtotheAfr
icanAr
chi
tecture
AwardsandinBrookl
ynIam goi
ngtothi
sbusiness
conf
erencethati
sgoi
ngtohaveahugeimpactin
mycareer.
”
Kuhl
e:“
am Ial
lowedt
ocomet
oLi
bya?
”
Me:“
ist
hatayes?
”
Kuhl
e:“
Idon’
tthi
nkIcansaynot
oyou.
”Ij
umpand
gohughim.

Me:“thankyouver ymuchandyouar emor ethan

welcometocomewi th.Al
sopleasedon’tf
orgett
o
tel
lyourwif
eaboutFancour t
.”Her ol
lshi
seyes.
“Al
socanwel eaveat1pm onFriday?Ihavean
11am meeting.”
Kuhl
e:“
not
ed.
”
Me:“
byeKuhle.
”Iper
khi
sli
psandheadoutwi
th
myhandbag.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
07:
59] :CHAPTER31

Myt womeet i
ngswentwel l.Iam sohappyabout
thewaymycompanyi sgr owing.Mycur rentcl
ient
s
arehappy, mypr eviouscl i
entsarehappyandIam
pret
tysur emyf ut ur
ecl i
entswil
lbehappyonce
theyst
ar twor ki
ngwi thme.Ishoul ddefinit
elyhave
anappr eciat
ionpar t
yf ormostoft hem whenIcome
backfrom Br ooklyn.
Ioncedidapar tylikethatthreeyear sagoandi t
wasasuccessf ul.Mypr evi
ousclientswer every
happyabouti t.Ievengott hem appreciati
ongifts,
theyweren’tsomet hi
nghugebutt heymadet hem
happy.Therear et hesegi rl
swhogobyt henameof
DakotaMul l
erandLondekaMnguni .Theyhavean
eventscoordinatingcompanycal ledEl egancy
Plannersandt heyar ef rom Johannesbur g.Ihave
seentheirworkonsoci almediaandImustsayIam
i
mpr essed.Iwi l
lgett hem toplant hisevent.

Zamohdr ivesZahandmet otheai

rportandwef i
nd
othersalreadyt here.Ihavegiventheguar dsand
Kgomot soaweekendof f.MabuthoandThobeka
wereskept i
calaboutl ett
ingmegowi t
hout
protecti
on, Kuhl ehadt otal
ktothem abouti t
.They
seemedbet terafterthattal
k.Wegett here,fi
nding
Sandilebyt heent ranceandKuhl e’
sguar dsleadus
tothejet.Wef i
ndever yonealreadythere,even
Kuhle’swi fe.Thi sweekendi sgoingtobe
i
nteresti
ng.Weexchangegr eeti
ngsandIgosi tnext
t
oNoma.Webuckl
eupandt
hej
ett
akesof
f.

Me:“Iam goingtoLibyainaf ewmont hsf orthe

AAA.Ihavebeennomi natedtheref orarchit
ectof
theyear
.Ifyouwannacome, you’dhavet osor tout
yourownaccommodat ionandt icketsfortheevent
becausetranspor
tiscover ed.
”
Noma:“whenar
ewecel
ebr
ati
ngt
his?
”Ismi
leand
l
ookather.
Me:“soon,f
ornowl et’
sgowastethepr i
nce’
s
money.”Shelaughs.“IseeLeeisal
readysecur
ing
t
heweekend’sf uck.
”Isaylooki
ngatLeewhoi s
l
aughingwithSbo.
Noma:“
KhanyaandIhadafi
ght
,soIguessIam
si
ngl
efort
heweekend.
”Il
aughshaki
ngmyhead.

Me:“Idon’tthi
nkthat’
showr elat
ionshipswork.
”
Sheroll
shereyes.“GUYS! ”Ishout,making
ever
ybodyt urnthei
ratt
entiontome.“ Whenyouand
yourpart
nerhadaf ight,
doyougoandr el
ease
st
ressbyf
ucki
nganot
herper
son?
”
Lindsay:“i
tdependsbabes.I
fyourpartnersai
d
somehur tfult
hingsordi
dsomet er
ri
blethingsto
you, youareenti
tl
edtoaonenightstand.Note,not
af uckbuddy,butaonenightst
and.”
Sthabil
e:“butt
hatdoesn’tapplywhenyouare
mar r
ied.I
fyouguysarehavi ngproblems,
youneed
tositdownandt al
kthingsthrough.I
fyoucan’t
solveyourprobl
ems,involveamar ri
agecounsel
or.
”

Lee:“
allt
hatj
ustforsucki
nguptosomeone’
ski
d?
YohIam nevergett
ingmarri
ed.
”
Me:“youandmebot hsister
.”Kuhl
ehasn’
ttakenhi
s
eyesoffmeeversinceIgothere.“
Wherearemy
manners?GuysthisisSandil
eNtuli
,af
ri
end,and
Sandythi
siseveryone.
”
Li
ndsay:“
Iam notever
yone.Sandymynamei s
Li
ndanibutyoucancallmeLindsayanyt
ime
babes.
”welaugh.
Sbo:“
Iam pr
ett
ysur
eyouknowwhoIam.
”Sandi
le
chuckl
es.

Sandy:“youareoneoftheZulupri
ncesandover
ther
e,”hesayspoint
ingatKuhle,
“ist
hefi
rstpr
ince
andthenextking.
”
Kuhle:“ni
cetooffi
cial
lymeetyouNtuli
.”Fort
he
fi
rstti
mesi nceIhaveenter
edthi
sjet,
hiseyes
movef rom me.
Thomas:“sinceyou’r
eapr oducer,
maybeyoucan
hearsomeofmysi ngi
ng.Whoknows, maybeIcan
earnmyselfarecorddeal.Iam Thomasbythe
way.”Hi
sfriendslaughandSandi l
echuckl
es.

Sandy:“
let
’sheari
t.
”
Sbo:“
bef
orehest
art
ssi
ngi
ng,
cansomeonegi
ve
meearpl
ugs?”
Isaac:“owshutupman.Lethim shoothisshot
.Go
onbr other.
”Thomasstar
tssi
ngingandIswearhe
i
swor sethananywoodenmiccontenderIhave
heard.Ican’tevenbr
ingmysel
ftolaugh.He
fi
nishessingi
ngandSandi
lei
ssoshocked,
hecan’
t
evenalterasi
ngl
eword.

Me:“dudeI…”Idon’tevenfi
nishspeaki ngbecauseI
j
ustburstoutl
aughing.Theot hersf
ollowpur sui
t.“
I
t
hinkyoushouldjustleavei
ttot heprofessi
onals.”
Thomas:“
youthi
nkyoucandobet t
erthanme?”he
gi
vesmeadaringlook.Bef
oreIcananswer
,Sandy
answer
sforme.
Sandy:“
shei
soneofthebestvocal
ist
sIhaveever
hear
dinmyenti
recar
eer.
”
Lee:“
Icanat
testt
othat
.”
Noma:“
met
oo.
”
St
habi
le:“
let
’sheari
tthen.
”

Zah:“
ashermanager,
Idecidewher
eshesi
ngsand
whereshedoesn’
t.
”weal
llaugh.
Li
ndsay:“
mar
atechni
cal
lyyouar
etheboss’
sboss.
”
Zah:“
Iknowr
ight
.Butt
heyj
ustdon’
tgi
vememuch
r
ecogni
ti
on.
”
Lindsay:“
Ireal
lydon’
tknowwhyoutsi
derstr
eatus
l
ikeslaveswhereasourbosst
reat
suslikeequal
s.”
Phumudzo:“ t
hereareshit
typeopleoutt
her
eand
somet i
mest r
eat
ingpeopleli
ketrashmakethem
feelgoodaboutthemselves.
”Myeyesmeet
Sthabil
e’sandshejustl
ooksdown.Ichuckl
e.

Phil
asande:“that’
swhysomeper sonalassi
stant
s
arerude.Twor easons.Onebecausetheyhave
beentreatedshit
tybefore,
andtwo,becausethey
werejustbornrude.”
Wecont inuet
alki
ngaboutwor kposit
ionsandmore.
Idon’tknowhow, butthet opicshif
tstotheoneof
pol
ygamyandt heystarttalki
ngaboutMusa
MselekuofUthandoNesi thembu.Kuhl ehasthi
s
annoyingsmugonhi sf acet hatIwishtowipewith
asinglepunch.
Me:“Iwoul
dn’tmi
ndbeingMpiyakheZungu’sfour
th
wi
fe.Imeansureheisacti
ngandall,
butthatguyis
whatIcal
lafamil
yheadandanhonor abl
eman. ”
Xol
i:“si
sihei
smymancr usheveryday.ImeanI
wouldn’
tevenmi ndbei
nghissidechi
ckorababy
mamai nsecret
.”Theguys’chuckl
e.
Phi
wayinkosi
:“manwhyyouar en’
tinapol
ygamous
marr
iage?Imeanyourfatherhasl
ikef
ourwives
andyouonlyhaveone.Seemsunfairt
ome.”
Lindsay:“
areyoumaybeafrai
dofyourwif
e?”I
knowhowLi ndsaycanbe.Rightnowshei
sjust
stir
ri
ngupt r
oubl
e.Nomasmi rks.

Noma:“ maybehel osthismojoorshelli

ngabi l
it
y
yearsback.”Theyalll
augh.Icanseet hatSthabil
e
i
st r
yingsohar dt
ocont ainheranger
.Ifonlyshe
knewt hathi
shusbandhavest r
ongfeeli
ngsf orme,
shewoul dkickhi
m outoft hi
sjetwit
houta
parachute.
Sbo:“okay,okayguys.Stopmaki ngfunofmy
brother.Heishappil
ymar r
ied.Besi
deshedoesn’ t
knowhowt ocourtalady.Youknowr oyalsand
arrangedmar r
iages.
”Theycont i
nuelaughing.Okay
It
hinkt
hat
’senoughmaki
ngf
unofmypr
ince.

Me:“okayguyst
hat’
senough.Idon’
tthinkbot
hthe
pr
inceandthepr
incessar
ecomf ort
ablewit
hthis
di
scussion.
”
Lee:“
wehearyouadvocat
eCel
e.”Theycont
inue
l
aughing.OkayIt
ri
ed.
.
.
Wegett othehotelandcheckintoourr ooms.Since
i
t’
sstil
learlywejustchangeintoswimsuitsandgo
t
othepool .Thewaitersbri
ngusdrinks.Wedr ink
whil
echat t
ing.Aft
erawhilewegeti nsi
det hepool.
Wearesol uckythatthewatertemperatureisabit
warm.Ihaveal wayslovedswimming.Evendadgot
meacoacht oteachmehowt oswim.Itwasoneof
myhobbi esgrowingup,apartfr
om drawing.

Sandi
leandt
heguysl
aterj
oinusinsi
dethepool
.
Heswimstowar
dsmeandj ustasheisget
ti
ng
cl
oser,hesplashesthewat erandIgaspbef ore
gi
ggli
ng.Weal lstar
tplayingwiththewaterlikekids
andlat
erwedeci detogot othepool si
decaféf or
moredr i
nks.Imustadmi tthecocktail
shereareto
di
efor.

Li
ndsay:“
sobesi
desspendi
ngt
heroyalmoney,
whatdoyoudoSthabi
le?
”OMG!Cantheyl
eaveher
al
onebakit
hi?
Sthabi
le:“Iam afashi
ondesigner.
”Shesayswi
tha
fakesmileplast
eredalloverherpl
ace.
Noma:“
aren’
ttheyal
l?
”shesaysr
oll
inghereyes.

Xoli
:“t
hereisthisonequeenwhom Iadmi r
e.She
hasmanyNPOs.Somehel pwi t
hor phans,singl
e
mothers,drugaddict
s,str
eetkidsandwomenwho
havebeenabusedbef ore.Sheissel f
lessand
al
wayst hinkaboutherpeople.IfIweretobequeen,
Iwoulddef i
nit
elyf
oll
owi nherfootsteps.”
Mbuso:“
appl
icat
ionsf
orsecondwi
fear
eopened.
”
Wealll
augh.Iguesst
heyhaven’
thadenoughof
t
easi
ngKuhle.

Li
ndsay:“Ithinkweshouldhitt
heclubt
onight.
Thereisthisplacecall
edBONSinMosselBay.It’
s
about30t o40mi nutesaway.Weshoul
dgoandget
drunkwiththewhi t
epeopleandspeakAfr
ikaans.
”
Weal ll
augh.
Me:“Iam gamepl
usIhaveal
otoft
hingst
o
cel
ebrat
e.”
St
habi
le:“
nameone.
”
Me:“
tuneintoyourt
elevi
siondear
,youwi
llsoon
seemethere.
”
Lee:“
that
’swhatIam t
alki
ngabout
.”
Noma:“l
et’
sgofreshenupsothatwecaneat
di
nnerandthenhitt
heclub.
”

Weallheadtoourrespecti
verooms.BythewayI
am shari
ngaroom withSandy.Wegetinsi
deand
hequickl
yshutst
hedoor .Herushest
omeandki ss
mehardli
kehehasbeenholdinghimsel
fforalong
t
ime.Wemakel oveorwefuckforagoodtwo
r
ounds.Lucki
lyherememberedcondoms.Bythe
t
imewear edone,weli
eonthebedpanti
ng.

Sexwi thSandil
eissoamazi nganditist
hebest
fuckIhaveeverhad.Mvel owasjustanaver
age,
butthisoneyoh.Hesur eknowshowt oquenchmy
thi
rst.Wetakeanapandwear ewokenupby
someonebangi ngt hedoor
.It’
sNomaandshei s
i
nformi ngusthattheyareheadedtotheLaCant
ina
fordinner.

Wegetupandt akeaqui ckshower .AfterthatI

l
otionandgetdr essedinnudebasi cboobt ubeli
ned
croptopwithleggings,nudeblazerandbr own
boots.WhenIam done, Icombmyhai randt i
eitt
o
aneatbun.Iputont hecologneandj ustputona
nudemat t
elipsti
ck.Sandi l
eisdressedi nbr own
chinosandwhi t
el ongsleevedti
ghtshir twithwhite
sneakers.
Sandil
e:“
youlookgoodbabeandthatbooty,
my
God.”Hesaysbit
inghi
sli
pandIjustlaugh.
Me:“
let
’sgo.
”Isaytaki
ngmysl
ingbagandput
ti
ng
myphoneandli
psti
ckinit
.

Weheadt otherestaur
antandf i
ndt hegangal ready
sit
ti
ng.Iwonderwhot oldthem tositl ikethi
s.The
onlyavailabl
eseatsare;onebet weenLeeandKuhl e
andanot herbetweenPhi wayinkosiandSbo.Ij ust
gruntandgosi tnexttoKuhlewhost andupand
openthechai rf
orme.Iment all
yrollmyeyesand
thensitdown.Foodi slaidoutint het ableandit
l
ookssoappet i
zing.

Zah:“
Ior
deredf
oryouandMr
.Nt
uli
.Wel
lIgoogl
ed
hi
sfavor
it
emeal.
”
Sandi
le:“
pleasecal
lmeSandi
leandt
hankyou.
”
Li
ndsay:“
bonappet
it
e.”
Wedi gin.bythewayZahor deredChi cken
Parmi gi
ana.Thi sisanIt
al i
anrestaurant.Thisdish
consistsofcr umbledchickensupr eme, toppedwith
gril
ledauber gi
ne,napoli
tanasauce, granapadano
andmozzar ell
a.Ididn’
tknowwhati tconsistedsoI
askedt hewai tr
esstoexpl ai
nittome.I ttastesso
deli
cious.Ieatandkeepmoani ngoblivioustothe
staresIam get ti
ngfrom thetable.Iopenmyeyes
andl ookatthem.

Me:“what?Ihaveneverbeent oanItal
ian
r
estaur
antbef ore.Iunder
est
imatedthem.NowI
wannavisi
tIt
al yjustsoIcangototheirr
est
aur
ant
s
t
otastedif
ferentdishes.”
Noma:“
countmei
n.t
hisGnocchiRagouti
stodi
e
f
or.
”
Me:“
canIt
ast
e?”

Kuhle:“
youcantastemi
ne.Iorderedt
hesame
dish.
”Hesayscutti
nghi
smeatandbr inginghi
s
forkcl
osert
omymout h.Iopenitandlethimfeed
me.Ichewthemeat,
whichisporkwi
thgar
den
her
bs.Fuckthi
sisal
ldel
ici
ous.
Me:“fuckthi
sisgood.Canweal leatquickl
yto
avoi
dmehavi ngtot asteever
ydi shinthist
able.
”
Theyalll
augh.Iraisemyhandt ocallthewait
ress
andsheisnexttomei namat t
erofseconds.
“Honeycanyoupl easegetmeabot tleofWindhoek
todownt hi
sdeli
ciousmeal with?”shesmi l
esand
nod.
Wai
tr
ess:“
comi
ngr
ightup.
”

Lee:“
canIhaveabot
tl
eofHei
neken?
”shesaysand
Nomaalsoorder
sbeer
.
St
habi
le:“
youguysdr
inkbeerwi
thyourmeal
s?
Whynotwine?
”
Me:“
itmakesmehor
nyandsl
eepy.
”Theyl
augh.
Kuhl
e:“
pleasebr
inga12packofCast
leLi
te.
”

Li
ndsay:“canIhaveabott
leofGr
aham Beck?I
t’
s
notever
ydayanopportuni
tyli
ket
hiscomesmy
way.Igot
tausei
tandt
akesnapsf
ort
hegr
am.
”
Zah:“
Iam shar
ingt
hatbot
tl
ewi
thyou.
”
Li
ndsay:“
li
keweshar
eourboss’
saf
fect
ion?
”we
l
augh.
Waitr
ess:“i
sthatal
lyouguyswi l
lneed?”t
heot
her
l
adiesorderwineandsheleaves.Shecomesback
wit
hthedr i
nksandtaket
heempt ypl
atesi
nthe
t
able.

Wecont inueeati
ngwhi
lechatti
ng.Afterf
ini
shi
ng
ourdinner,weheart
otheparkinglotwherecar
sare
al
lreadyt otakeust
oMossel Bay.Wecl i
mbinsi
de
anddr i
veout .
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
00] :CHAPTER32
Wegett ot
hecl ubandgetat ablei
ntheVI Psect
ion.
Wesi tandor derdrinks.Lindsaywasr ight
.This
placeiscrawlingwi thwhitepeopl eandthe
Afri
kaansist oomuchbutt hatwon’tstopusfrom
getti
ngwast ed.Hour slaterLindsaystandsup
sayinghehasadr i
nkinggame.Ihopei t’
snotthe
tr
uthordar eliketheonewepl ayedinmyhouse.
Thenoi seisn’tt
oomuchi nt hissecti
onsowecan
heareachot herspeaki ng.

Li
ndsay:“ t
henameoft hegamei s‘NeverHaveI
Ever’
.Twopeopl ewi llgettobeaskedquest ionsor
astatement .Li
ke‘NeverHaveIEversl eptwitha
vi
rgin’
.Ifyouhaveyouwi l
lsay‘Ihave’anddr i
nka
shot.Ifyouhaven’tyouwi llsay‘Ihaven’
t’and
dodgeashot .I
tisagr eatgamebecausei fyou
denythest atement,yourfriendswillcal
lyouto
order.
”Wel augh.“Andasapenal t
y,youwi l
ldri
nk
t
woshot
s.”

Xoli
:“vel
eatt
heendoftheday,
wear
eal
lgoi
ng
backtothehot
eldr
unk?
”
Li
ndsay:“that’
sthepl
an.What ’
sniceist hatIgett
o
choosethet wopeopl
ewhowi l
lgetstatementsand
Iam theonewhoaskquest ions.”Thecommot i
on
aft
erthatyohandIjustl
augh.“ Relaxguys,each
pai
rwi l
lonlyget3quest
ions.”
Zah:“
it
’sbet
tert
hant
rut
hordar
e.”

Li
ndsaysi gnalthewaiterandhebrings20shots,
wow.Theypl ay2chairsfurt
herfr
om ourtabl
eand
asmalltablei nfr
ontofthechair
s.Theyplacethe
20shotsint hattabl
e.Lindsayst
andsup, f
ixi
nghis
out
fi
twhi chneedsnof i
xing.Dr
amaki ng.

Li
ndsay:“okay.MbusoandZah,youguysareup
fi
rst
.”Theychuckl
eandgositatthechai
rs.“Never
haveIeverfal
lenasl
eepdur
ingsex.”Weallburst
outl
aughi
ng.Howisthatevenpossible?Wel
l
maybeift
heguyisnotgif
ted,butguys.
MbusoandZah:“
Ihaven’
t.
”

Lindsay:“neverhaveIevergonet ochurchwi t
ha
hangover.”Theybot hdri
nkt heshotsquickl
yand
wel augh.“Wowyouheat hens.Lastone,neverhave
Ievergivenorr eceivedal apdance.”Mbusodr i
nks
theshotandZahsaysshehaven’ t
.“Dollyou’
rea
saint.
”Shegi ggles.“Nextupwehavet hetwins,
PhiwayinkosiandPhi l
asande.”

Phi
lasande:“
whyam Inotpai
redwi
thawoman?
”
Phi
wayinkosi
:“i
t’
ssounf
air
.”Wel
aughast
heygo
si
tonthechair
s.
Li
ndsay:“
neverhaveIeverki
ssedsomeoneoft
he
samegender.
”
Twins:“
IHAVE’
NT”t
heyshoutandwel
aughat
them.
Me:“
akul
iwaguys.
”Theyl
augh.
Li
ndsay:“ neverhaveIeverwentonadat eand
di
dn’tenjoyi t
,thenmadeanexcuset oleaveearl
y.”
Theydrinkt heshot squi
cklyandwelaughagain.
Thi
sgamei sfunny.“NeverhaveIeverwentski
nny
di
pping.”Theydr i
nktheshotsagai
n.
Lee:“
youguysar
egoi
ngt
odr
unk.
”
Li
ndsay:“nextupi sSandil
eandSt habi
le.AboS- S.
Thatrhymes.”Sandilechucklesandtheygotot he
chai
rs.“Fi
rststat
ement .NeverhaveIeverbrokena
bone.
”Sandi l
edrinksashotandIj ustl
augh.

St
habi
le:“
Ihavenever
.”
I
saac:“
youchi
ldhoodwasdul
l.
”Theyl
augh.
Li
ndsay:“
neverhaveIeverusedaf
akeI
D.”
Sandi
le:“
Ihavenever
.Dadwasonest
ri
ctpar
ent
,
evenworsethanmom.”Welaugh.
St
habi
le:“
Ial
sohavenever
.”
Li
ndsay:“neverhaveIeverdumpedsomeone.
”
Theyquickl
ydrinktheshotsandwelaugh.
Xol
i:“
youguysar
ecr
uel
.”Theyl
augh.
Lindsay:“LeeandSbo.”Theygosi tonthechair
s.
“NeverhaveIeversleptwithsomeonewhoi st
en
yearsolderthanyou.”Theyquickl
ydrinktheshots.
Wel aughatt hem.

Sandi
le:“
youhavebeenwi
thacougarman?
”Sbo
l
aughs.
Li
ndsay:“
neverhaveIeverki
ssedsomeonei
n
publ
ic.
”Theydri
nktheshots.
Xoli
:“youarethewi
ldestpair
.”Weal
llaugh.Iam
ti
redoflaughi
ngbutIcan’tst
op.

Lindsay:“
neverhaveIeverki
ssedmorethanone
personin24hours.”Theydri
nktheshot
s.Igiveup.
Iknowmyf r
iendi
swi l
dandIam notsurpr
ised,
princesar
ewomani zers.
Phi
lasande:“
dar
li
ngcanwepl
easegetanot
her
roundofshot s?
”hesayssignal
ingt
hewai t
ress.
Shesmi lesandcomesbackwi t
htheshots.She
placesthem i
nt hesmallt
abl
e.Shesmil
esatPhila’
s
direct
ionagainbefor
eleavi
ng.

Me:“goandt
akehernumber
,maybeyoumightget
l
uckytoni
ght
.”Hel
aughsandrusht
oher.Weall
j
ustl
augh.
Lindsay:“
okaymovi
ngforward,Phumudzoand
Xoli.
”Theytaket
hei
rseats.“
NeverhaveIeverhad
sexbefore.
”Phumudzotakeshi
sshot.
Xoli
:“t
hatquest
ionissounf
air
.”Shesaysdrinki
ng
hershot,
fli
nchi
nginthepr
ocessandwel aughat
her.
Lindsay:“
neverhaveIeversai
dsomethi
ngwhi
le
drunkandr egr
eti
tthenextmorni
ng.
”Phumudzo
takeshisshot.
Phumudzo:“
dumpedmybabymamawhi
ledr
unk.
”
US:“
YOH!
”
Xol
i:“
wel
lIhaven’
t.
”
Li
ndsay:“
neverhaveIeverhadaoneni
ghtst
and.
”
Xol
i:“
Ihaven’
t.
”Phumudzodr
inksanot
hershot
.
Phumudzo:“
wel
lcanIbeyouroneni
ghtst
and
toni
ght
?”
Isaac:“shootyourshotman.
”weal
llaugh.Xol
ijust
giggles.

Lindsay:“
NomaandI saac.”Theytaketheirseats.
“NeverhaveIeverregif
tedagift.
”Theydr inkt
heir
shotsandwel augh.Comeon, youknowyouhave
doneitbefor
e, t
her
eisnousedenyi ngit.“Never
haveIeversexted.
”Theydr i
nkthei
rshot sagain.
“NeverhaveIeversmokedcannabi s.
”Theydr ink
theshotsagain.Ij
ustl
aughshakingmyhead.We
havebeenhighsomanyt i
mes.

Noma:“youwereai
mingatget
ti
ngmedr
unkvel
e.”
Li
ndsaylaughs.
Li
ndsay:“
QueenFut
hyandPr
inceKuhl
e.”Wel
augh.
“Futhyisalr
eadyt
hequeenofengi
neer
sand
archit
ects,
wenaKuhleyouar
eyettogett
oher
l
evel.”Welaughagai
n.
Kuhle:“youguysar
ehavingaf
iel
ddaywi
thme.
”he
chucklesshaki
nghishead.

Li
ndsay:“
neverhaveIeverrol
epl
ayeddur
ingsex.
”I
bur
stoutlaughi
ngbefor
etakingmyshot
.Kuhl
e
gi
vesmeal ookandalsotakeshi
sshot
.Wejust
l
augh.
Me:“Ihavebeenar
oundyou.Maybei
t’
sti
met
o
set
tl
edown.”
Noma:“
notyet
.Maybenextyear
.”Il
augh.
Me:“
you’
rer
ight
.”

Li
ndsay:“neverhaveIeverwent24hourswit
hout
showeri
ng.”Wedr i
nkourshotsandjustl
augh.
Guysthi
shappens.
Xol
i:“
awhol
epr
incenotbat
hing?
”
Kuhl
e:“
cir
cumst
ancespot
ent
ialwi
fe.
”Wel
augh
agai
n.

Lindsay:“neverhaveIeverkissedtheper sonnext
tome. ”fuckLindani.Di
dhehavet oaskt his
question?Iquicklydri
nkmyshotandt henj ogtot
he
bathroom.Iain’treadyforSt
habil
e’swor ds.Gosh
Sandile.YazifLindaniwasn’
tgoodathi sj ob,I
’df
ir
e
him.NomaandLeemaket heirwayinsidet he
restr
oom laughing.Whydi dGodhavet ogi veme
stupidfri
endslikethese?

Noma:“wayenzaindabauLi ndani.Youshould’ve
seenthewaySthabil
eal mostbeatupKuhl e.A
wholepri
ncebei
ngbeat eninpublicnogal.Ican
alr
eadyseetheheadli
nesonDai lySun,‘ZULU
PRINCEBEATENBYWI FEINACLUBFORKI SSING
ANOTHERWOMAN’ .
”Theylaughoutl oud.

Lee:“
laphoSandil
eiscoolasacucumber.Sbowas
l
aughingcabanga.”Theycont
inuel
aughi
ng.Ist
her
e
aplacewhereIcansel
lthem?Maybethebl
ack
market,
yeahthebl
ackmar keti
sagr
eatpl
aceto
sel
lthem.
Me:“
canwej
ustgobackt
othehot
el?
”
Noma:“nope,Kuhlelef
twit
hhi swife.Maybehewill
becal
mingherdownandshewi l
lbescreaming
l
oudenoughf oryoutohear.Let’
sjustgogetdrunk
asweinit
ial
lyplanned.
”

Me:“you’
reri
ght
.Let
’sgo.Butf
ir
stl
etmerel
ieve
myself
.”Igopeeandthenweheadbackt
oour
t
able.
Li
ndsay:“Iam sor
ryfort
hatboss.Idi
dn’
tmeant
o
causetoomuchdr ama.”
Me:“dramaisyourf
ir
stnameLi ndsaysoIam not
sur
prised.
”Hechuckl
esnervously.

ThenightproceedsandIam gl
adther
eisn’
tmuch
dramaagain.Wel eavet
hecl
ubaround3am wit
ha
l
otofboozeandwesmokeweedonourwayt ot
he
hotel.DearGod,Ican’
timagi
nethetypeof
hangoverIam goingtohaveinthemorning.Weget
tothehot elmaki
ngsomuchnoi sebutnoneofthe
staffrepr
imandus.Iguesstheyareafr
aidofthe
Zulupr i
nces.

Sbo:“howaboutwecont
inuet
hispar
tyt
omy
room?”weallagr
eeandheadtohi
sroom.Hei
snot
shari
ngwit
hanyone.

Wegeti nsideandtakeourseats.Wel lIsiton

Sandile’
slapandwecont i
nuedrinki
ng.Sbo’ sroom
i
ssoundpr oofedsowedon’ thavet owor ryabout
otherguestscomplaini
ngaboutus.Mbusopl ays
someamapi anomusicandweal lstartdanci
ng.
Sandilehassomesi ckdancemoves, Inever
thoughthecouldmovel ikethatbuthedoesknow
hisstoryinthebedroom sowhatwasIexpect ing.

Hecomestosi
tbackdownandIst
raddl
ehim.Iki
ss
hi
m andheki
ssesmeback.Hewhi
sperstomethat
weshoul dgobacktoourr oom.Iam sohor nyri
ght
nowsoIagr ee.Wesaygoodbyet oever yoneand
rusht oourroom.Wegett hereandclothesstart
fl
yingaround.Weonl yhaveoner oundbecausewe
arekakdr unkandhighbutwedon’ tforget
protecti
on.Wedozeof fquickl
yafterfuckingor
maki ngloveasyouguyswoul dsayi t
.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
00] :CHAPTER33

*
**NARRATED*
**
Kuhl
eandSt
habi
legott
othei
rhot
elr
oom and
Sthabil
ewasf umi
ng.Shef el
tst upidforcomingto
thi
sgetawaybecausei tseemedl iketheywere
mockingherormaki ngfunofhermar ri
agewi t
h
Kuhle.Fir
stt
heytalkedaboutt hepolygamyissue
whichannoyedher.Nowt heki ssissue.Shecould
seethatKuhlehastakenal i
kingintotheCelegirl
anditdidn’
tsi
twellwithher .

Sthabi
le:“
whenyouseemedoyouseeafool
Kuhle?”Kuhl
esi
ghedandst
art
edt
akingof
fhi
s
cl
othes.
Kuhle:“
canwenottalkaboutt
hisnow?Wearehere
tohavefun,
notf
ight.I
fyouwannaf i
ght
,whydon’
t
yougobacktoDurban?”
Sthabil
e:“sothatyoucanhaveti
met obondwith
yourmi st
ress?Whobyt hewayisherewithher
boyfri
end?Kuhl ewhyareyoudoi
ngt hist
ome?”
sheaskedwi thhervoi
cenearl
ybreaking.

Kuhl
e:“
youarejumpi
ngi
ntoconcl
usi
ons.I
twasa
gameoftr
uthordar
eandIwasdaredtoki
ssher
.”
Sthabi
le:“
thatwastheonlyt
imeyoukissedher
?”
Kuhlel
ookeddownanddi dn’
tanswerhiswif
e.
I
nsteadhecont i
nuedtaki
ngoffhi
scl
othesunti
lhe
wasleftwit
honlyboxers.

Kuhl
e:“
stopt
ryi
ngt
ohur
tyour
sel
f.
”
St
habi
le:“
doyoul
oveher
?”
Kuhle:“Idon’
thavetimeforthis.”Het ookof fhis
boxersandwentt othebathroom but tnaked.
Sthabil
egotevenmadderandal sotookof fher
cl
othesbecauseshewant edanswer s.Shemade
herwayt otheshowerandf oundKuhl ejust
standi
ngundert herunni
ngwat er.Shegoti nside
andheldhi mfrom behi
nd.

Sthabil
e:“
Idon’twannafightKuhl
ebutyouar
e
keepingmei nthedarkandyouknowhowIhate
that
.”heturnedandlookedather.
Kuhl
e:“
Iam sor
ryandther
eisnothi
nggoi
ngon
bet
weenFut
hyandI .wear
ejustbusi
ness
associ
atesandfri
ends.
”Sthabi
lelookedathi
m wit
h
eyestocheckifheisl
yingandhiseyesdidn’
tgi
ve
awayanything.

Sthabi
le:“
fi
ne.Nowcanyoupleasepl
easurememy
dearhusband?”Kuhl
echuckl
edandpickedherup
makingherwrapherlegsar
oundhiswaist
.
Kuhl
e:“
yourwishismycommandmyqueen.
”He
ki
ssedherneck.
.
.
SboandLeesneakedoutandwentt oLee’sroom
sincetheotherswer esti
lldr
inkinganddancingin
Sbo’sr oom.Theygott oLee’sroom andassoonas
Sbocl osedthedoor ,
theystart
edundr essi
ngeach
other.Theykissedeachot herwhileSbobackedLee
tothebed.Shef ellandSbot oweredont opofher.

Sbo:“
all
owmet okissever
yvi
sibl
epar
tinyour
body.
”Shechuckl
edandnodded.
.
.
Phumudzor eal
lygothisoneni ghtstandwi thXoli
.
Hewor shippedherbodyandl eftherwant i
ngmor e.
Theyslepti nonebedwi ththeirbodi estangled.
Phumudzowi shedthatXol idoesn’trejecthiminthe
mor ni
ngbecauseher eall
yl i
kedher .Hei sjustone
ofthoseguyswhoar eaf r
aidofr ej
ecti
on.Hesaw
howi nnocentandwel l-
manner edshewasand
wishedtoj ustmarr
yherr ightt hereandt hen.
.
.
ZahandMbusowentt oZah’sr
oom andthey
chatt
edaboutal otofthi
ngs.Theyki
ssedbutit
endedthere.Theydidshareabedthoughand
Mbusowaskeenonknowi ngmoreofher.Heeven
promisedtovisi
theratwor kmoreoft
enandeven
takeheroutondat es.
.
.
Nomawentt obedwi t
hLindsaywhowast al
king
non-st
opandent ert
ainedNoma.Theyeventalked
aboutNoma’ srel
ati
onshipwithKhanyaandNoma
openedupt ohim.Shet ol
dhim howKhanyaislike
andhowhef eel
saboutNoma’ swealt
h.Mostofhis
fr
iendstol
dhi mthatNomai sjustusi
nghimforsex.
Whatcanshepossi blywantfrom await
erwhenshe
i
sasuccessf ulandaweal t
hylawyer?

Khanya, asidi
oticandasnarrowmindedashei s,
believedhi sfr
iendsandthatcausedari
ftinthei
r
relati
onship.Thewayhet alkedtoNomar eal
lyhurt
herf eeli
ngsandhedi dn’
tevenapologi
ze.Ifshe
didn’tlovehim asshedid,shewould’
vedumped
himi nt hespot.

Noma:“whatdoyouthi
nkIshoul
ddo?”sheasked
wit
htear
sthreat
eningt
ocomeout.Li
ndsayhugged
herandshestar
tedsni
ff
ing.
Lindsay:“
hei
sal oseranddoesn’
tdeser
veaqueen
l
ikeyou.Nooffencetoguysundertheageof30,
but
hei
sact
ingchil
dish.Ihopeyoucanseewhyot her
l
adi
espr
eferol
derandmat uredguys.Ourage
mat
esaretoostupidforus.”Nomagi ggl
ed.

Noma:“ Ij
ustdon’
twannaendupl i
kemostri
chand
successfulwomenoutthere.Si
ngl
eandmiserabl
e.”
Li
ndsaybr ushedherback.
Li
ndsay:“ift
hingsdon’
tworkoutwit
hthi
sone,you
wil
lfi
ndanot herwhowil
ltr
eatyouli
keaqueen.
Whoknows?Maybeyoursoulmat eisi
nFrance.
”
Nomal aughed.

Noma:“
ifheistherethenIwouldbookaf
li
ghtt
o
Fr
ancei
nstantl
y.”Li
ndsaylaughed.
Lindsay:“
that
’sthespi
ri
tbabe.St
opcr yi
ngbecause
ofsomeonewhodoesn’ tknowyourwor t
hand
l
istentohisfr
iendsmorethanheli
stenstoyou.
”
Noma:“si
ncewhenar
eyout
hiswi
se?
”Li
ndsay
l
aughedagai
n.
Li
ndsay:“si
nceIdrankexpensi
vewi
neatdinner
.”
Theybothlaughedoutl
oud.Nomastoodup.
Noma:“l
etmetakeashowerbef
oreIsl
eep.
”
Li
ndsayalsost
oodupandhuggedher.
Li
ndsay:“
nowIcansleepwellknowingt
hatyou
won’
tcommitsuici
deonceyou’real
one.
”Noma
l
aughedagai
n.“Goodnightorgoodmorning.
”

Noma:“
goodmorni
ng.
”Lindsayl
eftandwentt
ohi
s
r
oom whi
leNomawenttotheshower.

Shet houghtaboutwhatt heyhavej usttalkedabout

withLindsayanddeci dedthatassoonassheget
backt oDurban,shewi l
ltal
kwi t
hKhanyaandset
somegr oundr ules.Thewayhespoket oher ,r
eall
y
brokeherhear tandhur therfeeli
ngs.Shewas
hopingthatheseeshi sfaultandapol ogizebefore
i
t’
st oolate.Shef i
nishedshower ingandwentt obed
butherhear twasn’tatease.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
00] :CHAPTER34

*
**NOMXOLI
SI*
**
Iwakeupt osomeone’ shandsar oundmynaked
body.Pleaselorddon’tl
etthisbewhatIt hi
nkiti
s.
Howdr unkwasIl astnightthatIsleptupwi t
ha
str
anger.Itur
nandInear l
yfaintwhenIsee
Phumudzonextt ome.Hedi dsayhewoul dl
ikeme
tobehisoneni ghtstandbutIdi dn’tt
hinkhewas
seri
ous.WhathaveIdone?It rymovi ngandhej ust
ti
ghtenshishold.
Me:“youneedtowakeupPhumudzo.”Myvoiceis
hoar
sefrom al
lthevodkaIwasdr
inki
ngyest
erday.
Hi
m:“
why?Weai
n’tr
ushi
nganywher
e.”
Me:“
weshouldn’
thavedonethi
s.Youhaveababy
mamaandi…”hequickl
ysit
supstrai
ghtandpi
ck
meupsothatIcanstr
addl
ehim.

Him:“baby.”Ishakemyheadwhi l
elooki
ng
ever
ywher ebesideshiseyes.“
Wearen’
tleavi
ngt
his
room unt
ilwet al
k.”Isi
ghandlookathi
m.
Me:“
okayf
ine.Tal
k.”

Him:“f
ir
stlyIam sorryforlastnightort
hismor ni
ng.
Ishoul
dn’thavetakenadvant ageofyou.Al t
hough
webothwant edeachot her,Ishouldn’
thave.I
shoul
dhavecour tedyout her i
ghtwayandl etyou
knowmyf eeli
ngsf oryoubef oreevensleepi
ngwith
you.
”Ifrown.

Me:“
whatf
eel
ingsar
eyout
alki
ngabout
Phumudzo?
”hechuckl
es.
Him:“Iloveyou.I
nf actmyl ovef oryoust ar
ted
whenIsawyouatFut hy’splace.Babyyouar ean
i
nnocentandwel l-
manner edwoman, soIwasaf rai
d
toapproachyou.Iam ver yscar edofr ej
ecti
on,soI
wasaf r
aidyouwi l
lrej
ectme. ”Ilookathim
confused.Helovesme, heisconf essi
nghi s
feel
ingsforme.Ididn’texpectt his.

WellIgoogl edallKuhl e’sfriendst hatcamet o

Futhy’shouset hatday.Theyar eallsuccessf ul.
PhumudzoModi sanei saf ounderandowneroft his
organizati
onwhi chiscal l
edNt laf
at saYout h
Foundat i
on, whichi saf oundat iont hatteachest he
youthbasicski ll
sl i
kebaki ng, catering,pottery,
jewelrydesigning, cl
othesdesi gningandot herskil
ls.
Theyr ecei
vebasi ctrai
ningandaweekbusi ness
trai
ningjustincaseyouar epl anni ngonopeni ng
yourownbusi nessaf t
erfinishingyourt rai
ning.

Iadmi
rehi
swor
kandki
ndness.Hedoesn’
tbenef
it
from thi
s.Maybekeget tingafewsponsorsher e
andt here,butwi t
hthatmoney, herenewsorbuy
newequi pmentf orthefoundat
ionanddoot her
thingsthatar erelat
edtoi t
.Heisabusinessman
whohasaf ewbusi nessthatheownsandhei sa
CEOofModi saneMar keti
ng.

Heisacharmi ngman.Hei sn’tthattall

,dar
kand
handsometypet hatl
adiespreferthesedays.Wel l
heistal
l.Heisnotbuffybuthasmuscl es.That
’s
whyhemanagest ocarrymewi t
houtanyhassl es.
Heisnotthathandsome, butyouraver agedarknice
l
ookingman.Iwoul dn’
tsayhei smyt ypeornot
becauseIdon’thaveatype.

Him:“babypl easesaysomet hing.Iam real

ly
scaredofrejection.”Ij
ustsmil
eandki sshim.His
bodytensesatf i
rstbecauseIcanseet hathe
wasn’treadyf orthat.Hefi
nal
lyrelaxesand
respondstomyki ss.Ibreaki
tandl ookathim.
Me:“
whataboutyourbabymama?Myl i
fei
svery
si
mpleandpeacef
ul.Idon’
twantanydr
ama.”
Him:“
wear enoteveni ncontact.Wheniti
nvolves
mydaughter,shedropsherof fatmymom’ splace.
Sheusuall
ycommuni cateswit
hmymom.Idi dn’t
wanthergivi
ngmepr oblemsandstori
eswheni t
comestomydaught er.Mymom i sano-nonsense
woman,sot hat
’swhyIl etherhandl
ethebaby
mama.”

Me:“Il
ikeyou.I
fyouar
enotbr
inginganydr
ama
i
ntomyl i
fe,t
henmaybewecantry.”Hef
aceli
ght
s
up.
Him:“real
lybaby?”Inod.“
Thankyou,t
hankyou,
thankyou.”Hekissesmeallovert
hefaceandinmy
neck.Iam giggl
ingli
kea5yearoldkul
owomzuzu.

Iknowifwewer etot
akeourrel
ati
onshi
ptothenext
l
evel,mypar ent
swouldapproveofhi
m becauseof
hisgenerosi
tyandgoodheart.I
t’
soneofthethings
thatat
tract
smet ohi
m.Ifhewasagangster,I
wouldn’tevenhavegi
venhim asecondt
oexpl
ain
hi
msel f
.Ihavereadandseenladi
esdati
ngwit
h
gangsters.

Itmaybegoodwi t
hallt
hemoneyandadr enali
ne
butIwouldn’tl
astevenaweekbecauseIl ove
feel
ingsafeandbeingfree.Iwouldn’
tevensleepat
nightknowingthatmyli
femi ghtbeindangeror
therearesomepeoplewhowi l
lal
waysbeaf t
erme
becauseIam myboyf ri
end’sweakness.Yohaneva.
.
.
*
**LEE*
**
Iam wokenupbysomeonepl ant
ingki
ssesal
lover
myf ace.Igi
ggl
eandjustwi
shIcanpunchhim
becauseheisdist
urbi
ngmypeace.

Me:“
bent
engetof
f.Iwannasl
eep.
”
Sbo:“
evenaf
terf
ucki
ngyout
hatmuch,yousti
ll
haveamouthtocal
lmeabenten?
”Iburstout
l
aughing.Yenahedidfuckmegood.Iam sat i
sfi
ed.
Idoubtedhimthough,butIshouldhaveknownthat
royaldi
ckshavethateff
ect.Isi
tupandstret
chmy
armswhi l
eyawning.

Me:“
whatt
imei
sit
?”
Sbo:“10:
36.
”Ist
andupst
il
lbut
tnakedandhi
seyes
tr
avelupanddownmybody.
Me:“takeapict
ure.I
tlastslonger
.”Hetakeshi
s
phoneandIquicklyt
akei tawayfrom hi
m.“Iam
ki
dding.Idon’
twantmyhotbodyt rendi
ngwhen
yourbit
chesseemypi cturesanddecideonmaking
i
ttrendonsocialmedia.
”

Sbo:“Ial
sowouldn’tl
ikemenst ari
ngatit
.IwishI
canstareandworshipitforasl ongasIli
ve.
”He
saysstandi
ngupandcomi ngt owardsme.Ijogto
thebathr
oom andhecat chesmebef or
eIcaneven
gettothedoor
.Hehol dsmet ightinhisarmsand
mymi ndjustt
ravelbacktothemor ni
ngwehad.
Me:“
foraski
nnydude,
yousur
ear
est
rongyazi
.”
Sbo:“Iam goi
ngtofuckyousohar dbefor
ewe
l
eavet hi
sroom.fi
rstr
oundisforcalli
ngmeaben
tenandthesecondroundisforcall
ingmeaskinny
dude.”Hebreat
hesdownmyneck.Fuckhi sbr
eath
i
sdoingt hi
ngstome.Itur
nandl ookathim.

Me:“Iam sor
ryfordi
srespect
ingyoumypr
ince.
”He
chuckl
esandpicksmeup.
Sbo:“howaboutIfuckyoufir
standthenyou
apologizel
ater
?”hedoesn’
tevenwaitformet o
respond.Hejustputmeagainstt
hewal landsli
des
hisdickinmycookiewit
houtwarning.Iscream a
l
itt
le.

WellIdon’
tmindbeingpunishedbyadi ck.I
t’
sbeen
awhile.Agir
lneedssomeact i
oneveryoncei na
whi
le.Idon’
tself-
servi
cemyself
,li
kefi
nger i
ng
myselfandshitbutIdousesextoys.Ihavetwo
drawersathomef ul
lofthem andIam notashamed.
Iam agi r
l,Ineedpenetr
ation,andevenifit
’snoti
n
hardforceliketheoneIam r ecei
vingr
ightnow.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby

guysiam post
ingusi
ngalapt
opandt
hedat
ais
ki
ll
ingme.butkuzol
unga.
[
03/
09,
08:
01] :CHAPTER35

Iwakeupwithat hr
obbi
ngheadache.GoshIhat
e
hangover
sbutIlovebooze.Isi
tupandstr
etchmy
arms.ThedooropensandIquickl
ycovermyboobs.
Whothefuckhasthegutstoj
ustent
eri
nmyhot
el
r
oom wit
houtpermissi
on?

Sandy:“ cal
m downl ove,it
’sonlyme. ”hesays
enter
ingt heroom wi that r
ayoff oodwhi chhavea
singl
er ose,breakfastandwhatseemsl i
kea
handovercur e.Hepl acest hetrayonmyl ap.
“Specialbreakfastforaspeci allady.”Ismil
e.I
couldgetusedt othis.“Dri
nkt hisfi
rst.
”Hesays
handingmet hecur e.Ijustdowni tononegoand
frown.Hegi ggles.“Youl ooksocut er i
ghtnow.”

Me:“thanks.CanIbr
ushmyt
eet
hfi
rstbef
ore
eat
ing?”
Sandy:“
okay.”Hetakesthetr
ay,placi
ngitonthe
bedsi
detableandhandmemygown.Ist andup
andputitonandthenheadt othebathroom.Ifi
rst
peeandthenbrushmyt eethandwashmyf ace.I
gobacktobedandeatmybr eakfast
.
Me:“
thi
sisni
ce.Wher
edi
dyouor
deri
t?”
Sandy:“Iwentt
othemai nkit
chenandaskedt
o
cookit
.Icookeditf
rom scrat
ch.”Ismi
leandl
ookat
him.
Me:“
that
’ssoni
ceofyou.Haveyoueat
en?
”
Sandy:“
yes.
”

If i
nisheati
ngandhet akesthet r
ayandputi tback
i
nt hebedsidetable.Hetakesmyhandandwego
takeashower .Whenwegetbackt otheroom and
findt hebedalreadymade.Act uallytheroom i
svery
neatandcl ean.Ther earen’
tevenempt ycondoms
thatweusedear li
eron.Wegetdr essedandwe
headdownt othelobbywheret heothersareat.

Zah:“
sowhatar
ewedoi
ngt
oday?
”
Woman:“gol
fi
ng.Ihavebookedt
heMont
aguGol
f
Cour
seforyourvi
sit
.”
Li
ndsay:“
andwhomi
ghtyoube?
”
Woman:“
Namhl
anj
eMat
habel
a.Pr
inceKuhl
e’
sPA.
Zah:“
wel
lIam Zanel
e,QueenFut
hy’
sPA.
”theyal
l
l
aughandNamhlanjefr
owns.

Xol
i:“
andIam Nomxol
isi
,QueenFut
hy’
ssecond
PA.
”
Zah:“
level
s.”Theybot
hhi
-5andwej
ustl
augh.
Lee:“okaytothegol
fi
ngcourse.
”Ihavenever
playedgolfbefor
ebutIam l
ooki
ngforwar
dt ot
his
adventure.
.
.
Wear edonegol f
ingandnowwear ehavi
ngapi cni
c
i
nt hegolfgrass,i
ftherei
ssomet hingli
kethat.
Sincethegolfcoursewascl oseddownf orus,we
areall
owedt odowhat everwel i
ke.Wear ej
ust
chatti
ngandhavi ngfunbutIcan’tmissthe
chemistryandvibeIam gettingfr
om Xoliand
Phumudzo.Seemsl ikehereall
ydidgivehertheone
nightstand.
Iffacteveryoneseemst obeinagoodmood.Leei s
bondi ngandbeingallloveydoveywi thSbo.Zahis
blushingatMbuso’ sjokes.Nomaseemst obei na
bettermoodt hanthatofyesterday.Sthabil
eand
Kuhl eseem tobehappy, eventhought her
eisa
pinchofj eal
ousyjustbylookingatthem, Iam okay.
Thet winsaremaki ngjokesandever yoneis
l
aughi ng.

Me:“Immast artwithXoliandPhumudzo.Whati
s
happeningbetweent hetwoofyou?”Xol
ibl
ushes
andlooksdown.Thatj ustconfi
rmsmysuspici
ons.
Ij
usthopePhumudzowon’ tbr
eakherhear
t
becauseIwillbreakhisbones.

Phumudzo:“ wellMissNomxol i
sigavemeachance
toloveher,sowear eoffi
cial
lyi
nar elat
ionshi
p.”We
allcheer,
scream andtheguyswhi stl
e.Wehug
PhumudzoandXol i.Shedoeslookshappy.Ireall
y
hopei tl
astsandIhopePhumudzot reatsherl
ikea
queen.
Me:“wel
ltreathergood.I
fyoubr eakherhear
tIwi
ll
gotojai
lforshooti
ngyourball
s.”Heswal l
owshar
d
andtheguyslaughathim.Itur
nt oMbusoandZah.
“Andyouguys? ”

Mbuso:“youarelooki
ngatthef ut
ureMrs.Thwal
a.”
Hesayspr oudl
yandweal lcheeragai
n.Seemsli
ke
thi
str
ipwasast artofnewrelat
ionshi
ps.Iam
happythatwecameher e.
Zah:“
don’tt
hreatenhim bossbecauseheknows
whatwil
lhappenofhebr eaksmyhear t
.”Shel
ooks
athi
m andhej ustbl
ushes.
Phi
wayinkosi
:“dudedi
dyoujustbl
ush?”t
heguys
l
ookatMbusoandl aughathi
m whil
etheladi
esgo
‘
ncooh’
.

Me:“Iam happythatthistr
iphappened.NowIam
l
ooki
ngf orwardt
opl anningtwoweddings.
”Zah
l
aughs.
Zah:“wi
thati
ghtschedulel
ikeyours.Idoubt
.”I
poutandsheconti
nueslaughing.

Me:“ it
’sthet houghtthatcount s.”IlookatSbowho
i
sadmi ri
ngLee.Ipi tyhi m becauseeveni fheloves
Lee, hewillneverbeenoughf orher, pl
ushisfamil
y
willneveracceptanol derwomanf orthei
ryoung
prince.Sameappl i
est oNoma.Whenwegetbackt o
Dur ban,IwillpayKhanyaavi sit.Idon’tli
kethefact
thathemademygi rlcry.

Zah:“
soguesswhat?Ther ei
sthisbigbusi
ness
gal
adinneratt
hehoteltoni
ghtandImanagedto
getusatabl
einsi
de.Allweneedt odoisdr
ess
el
egantandbether
eby6: 30.
”
Lindsay:“wedon’
tevenhavet
opnot
chclothest
o
wear .
”Xolit
apshertabl
etf
orafewminut
esand
raisesherhead.

Xol
i:“
MosselBaaiMal
landLangeber
gMal
lar
est
il
l
open.Ifyouguysleavenow,youmightf
indyour
outf
it
sf ort
oni
ght.Bothmall
shaveFoschini
,
Woolies,Tr
uwort
hsandMar kham.”
Phi
lasande:“
wewil
lgotoseparatemall
sbecausei
f
wegowi thyoul
adi
es,
wewon’ tleavet
hemall.
”We
l
augh.
Noma:“
comeon,
wear
en’
tthatbad.
”
Kuhl
e:“
yout
hink?
”wej
ustl
augh.

Lee:“fi
ne,wear egoi
ngtotheMossel
BaaiMall
then.”Weallstandup,hopont
othegolfcar
tsand
drivebacktothehotel
.

Weheadt oourr ooms,takeourpur sesanddr i

veto
themal l.ItellZahtobookoneoft hesalonsatthe
mal lforussot hatwecandoourhai r,nai
lsand
make- upt here.WeallstartatFoschini.Bytheway,
Lindsayi swi ththeguys.It
’sjustme, Lee,Noma,
Zah, Xoli,
St habil
eandNamhl anj
e.Iknowf orsure
theguyswi llcomebackcompl aini
ngabouthow
t
roubl
esomeLi
ndsayi
s.

Me:“Xol
iandZahtakeanyt
hingyouli
ke,Iwi
llpay.
”
Theyjumpupanddownandt henrunaroundli
ke
headl
esschi
ckens.Ij
ustl
aughatthem.

Igoar oundt heshopandcomeacr ossabeaut if

ul
SissyBoyDonat el
laMaxiDr ess.Ijustfal
linlove
withitinst
ant l
y.It
ouchi tandIlovet hewayi t
s
fabri
cf eel
sont het i
pofmyf ingers.Iam even
l
ovingt heslitontheleft
.Iam def i
nit
elytaki
ngt hi
s.I
checkf ormysi ze,Inearl
yscream whenIf i
ndit.I
got otheshoessect i
onsandIt akeLuellaStudded
AnkleTi eHighHeel s.

Iknowf orsuretheyaregoingtogowel lwit

hthis
dress.Igotothef i
tt
ingroom andtr
yonmydr ess
andheels.Ilookatmyr efl
ecti
onandwow.God
l
ovedt hi
sear t
hsomucht hatHedecidedtoblessit
withagoddessl ikeme.Peopleofearth,
youar e
l
ucky.Itakeoutmyphoneandcal lLee.Itel
lherto
comewi t
hNomatothefit
ti
ngr oom andwithi
na
fewmoments,t
heyarehere.Theyscream when
theyseemeinmylovel
ydress.

Lee:“babesthi
sdresswasmadef oryou.Itfi
tsli
ke
aglove.”Theyarebothcar
ryi
ngdr essesandshoes.
Weal waysdothiswhenwegoshoppi ng.Wegot o
thefi
tti
ngroom wit
hshoessot hatwecanseei four
outf
it
smat chwiththeshoes.
Noma:“Iam sojealousri
ghtnow.Doyouhavet
o
bet
hisperf
ect?”Ijustl
augh.

Me:“justgoaheadandfityourdr
esses.
”They
crowdmei nthefi
tt
ingroom andIjustl
augh.How
cansuchr i
chandindependentwomenbechi l
dish
atti
mes?

Itakeoffmydress,shoesandwearwhatIwas
i
niti
all
yweari
ng.Theybot hgetf
inisheddr
essingup
andwow.Myf riendsarebett
erthanyourfr
iends’
shame.Theyar eslayi
ng.Everheardofaper son
sl
ayingwhent heeventisnotthei
rs?Thisiswhatis
goingtohappent ot hegalatoni
ght.Nomai s
wearingabl ackSissyBoyTakeMeTher eMaxi
Dresswi thMaddenGi r
lAnimalPri
ntPlatf
orm Heel
s.
Whi l
eLeei swearingar edSissyBoyGirlBoss
Assymet ri
cMi diDresswithMaddenGi rl
Embel l
ishedPlatf
or m Heel
s.

Me:“
whoareyouandwhathaveyoudonet
omy
f
ri
ends?
”theyj
ustl
augh.
Noma:“l
et’
squi
cklyundresssot
hatwecanpassby
t
hesalon.
”Theyundressandwegetoutoft
he
f
it
ti
ngroom.

Wef i
ndZahandXol iwi
tht hei
rout f
itsalr
eadyin
thei
rhands.BythewaySt habil
ewentt oWool i
es
withNamhlanj
e,Iguesstheyarecl ose.Zahr ushes
somewhereandcomesbackt ohandmeagol d
clut
chandanecklacewithear r
ingsandbr acel
et.
Wegot otheti
ll
andpayf orourcl othes.Whenwe
ar
edoneweheadout,f
indi
ngSt
habi
leand
Namhl
anj
eattheent
ryway.

Weheadt ot hesalonandtheyat t
endus
i
mmedi atel
y.Istartwit
hdyingmyhai r
.Ihave
alwayswant edtodyemyhai r.Idyei telectri
cblue
andwhi l
eIam wai ti
ngforthedyet osinki n,Idomy
nail
sandIgof ornudealmondshor tnai ls.Idon’t
real
lyl
ikelongnailsbecauseIam al waysdr awing.I
washmyhai randwhenIam done, thest yli
ststyl
eit
andIfini
shdoi ngmynai l
s.Themake- upar ti
stthen
domymake- up.WowIl ookbeautifulinmydi ff
erent
l
ook.

St
yli
st:“
yourhai
rissor
ichandbeaut
if
ul.
”Ismi
le.
Me:“
thankyou.
”
Make- uparti
st:“
youlooksobeaut
if
ulbabes.Your
baeisgoi ngtogocrazywhenheseesyou.”Ismil
e
again.Ifsheonlyknewthatmylookwil
ldri
vetwo
grownmancr azy.
Wefini
sheverythingatt
hesalonandpay.Wehead
backtothehotelandgetreadyf
ortheevent
.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby

Don'
tgetusedtogetti
ng2chapt
ersaday.Ihaven'
t
beenpost
ingsoIam spoi
li
ngyoutoday.Merr
y
Chri
stmasinadvance.
[
03/
09,
08:
01] :CHAPTER36

Wegettothegalaroundabout7:
30pm andal
lthe
headst
urntostareatus.SHOW STOPPING
MOMENT.Wear eescortedtoourtableandwet ake
ourseats.Thiseventissoboring.Ij
usttakeXol
i’s
tabl
etandst ar
tdrawing.Kuhleisseatednextt
ome
andSandi l
eisseatedont heothersi
de.Kuhle
chuckl
eswhenheseeswhatIam doi ng.

Kuhle:“
Iam al
sobor
edbutyoudon’
tseemedoi
ng
work.”
Me:“nobodyi
sst oppi
ngyou.”TheMCannounces
t
heguestspeakeroftheeventandmyeyespopout
whenIseewhoi tis.
Noma:“
noFr
icki
nway.
”
Lee:“
didhehavet
obeher
ethough?
”

SabeloLindokuhleSimelane.Theext hatbrokemy
heart.Theext hatl
eftandneverlookedback.Theex
thatgotmar ri
edfewmont hsaf t
erthebreakup.The
exthatmademet oneverwannacommi ttoa
rel
ati
onshi peveragain.Helooksgoodt hough.He
l
ooksmat ure,
hehasevengr ownabear d.
Noma:“ hehasabi tofapotbell
ythough.”Sheand
Leel augh.Iam justshocked.Iam speechl
ess.He
startsspeakingabouthisbusinessandIgetbor ed
mor e.Hest i
llhasthatsl
owbar it
onevoiceofhis
thatmademypant i
essoakwi thmywet ness.

Kuhle:“
youknowhim?
”heaskslookingatme.I
savemysketchandgi
vebackt
het ablett
oXol
i.
Me:“
hei
stheeex.
”
Kuhl
e:“
theonewhochosei
nher
it
anceoveryou?
”
Me:“
yep.”Hefi
nisheshi
sspeechandt
heMCt
akes
t
hestageagai
n.

MC:“tonightwearehonoredbythepresenceoft he
bignamesl ikeMbusoThwala,I
saacInguana,
NtombifuthiCel
eandPhumudzoModi sane.Fewof
themostsuccessf ul
busi
nesspeopleinMzansi .
Youdon’thavet ocomeupfrontbutj
ustst andand
wave.”Wej ustl
aughanddoashesays.Wet hensi
t.
“Yourworkisr
ecognizedandyouarerol
emodel st
o
alotofyoungandoldpeopleoutt
here.Anyways…”
heconti
nueswiththeprogram.

Li
ndsay:“
whydi
dn’tIgetr
ecognit
ionforkeepi
ng
DCCupandrunni
ng?”wejustlaugh.
Xoli:“
youguysdi dn’tevenannounceyourpresence.
Itwasj ustf
elt.Thi
sissocool .If
eelsospeci
alfor
knowingyou. ”Phumudzoki sseshercheekandshe
blushes.
Me:“
whenar
eweeat
ing?Iam st
arvi
ng.
”

Sbo:“youandmebothsister
.”welaugh.The
wait
ersbri
ngservi
ngdishestoeachtable.Iguess
peopl
eservethemsel
ves.
Sandi
le:“
pleasedi
shforme.
”hesayswi
thasmi
le
andIj
ustrollmyeyes.
Me:“
Idrama.”Helaughs.Ist
andupanddishf
or
t
hebothofus,theother
salsodi
shupfor
t
hemselves.
Lee:“
nowwear
efor
cedt
odr
inkwi
ne?
”Il
augh.
Me:“wecanjustaskforcockt
ail
s.”Shesignalsthe
wait
ressandsheordersdri
nksforeveryoneinthe
tabl
e.Namhlanj
eislooki
ngallcozywit
hPhi l
asande.
Somethingt
ell
smet hatt
hereissomething
happeni
ngbetweenthesetwo.

Thedrinkscomeandwebegi neat
ing.Whenweare
done,wedownourdrinksandthenweheadt ot
he
dancefloor
.Wedoballr
oom danceandSandyhas
mesocl osetohi
m,Icanfeelhi
serecti
on.Ij
ust
l
aughandbur ymyfaceonhischest.
Me:“anerect
ioni
nthedancef
loor
?Real
ly?
”he
chuckl
es.
Sandy:“
youlookli
keagoddesstonightsodon’
tbe
amazedbymyer ecti
on.
”Webot hlaughand
conti
nuedanci
ng.Someoneclearsthei
rthr
oatandI
tur
ntofindSabel
olooki
ngatme.Hehashi shands
onhispocket
s.
Sabel
o:“
MaCel
e.”
Me:“
Lindo.
”Hechuckl
es.
Sabel
o:“canIhavet
hisdance?
”IlookatSandyand
henods.Hethenlet
’sgoofmeandSabelotakes
meintohisarms.Westar
tmovingtothebeatoft
he
musicpl
aying.“
Youlookbeaut
if
ul.
”

Me:“tellmesomet
hingIdon’
tal
readyknow.
”He
chuckles.
Sabelo:“
yousti
llhavet
hatconfi
denceyouhad?”I
rol
lmyeyes.“I
t’sgoodtoseeyouglowingand
movingon.Ihaveseenhowhar dyouwor kandhow
yourcompanyhasgr own.Iam i
mpressed.Youare
sti
llt
hatambit
iousandgoaldri
venwomanIknew. ”

Me:“br
eaki
ngupwithyoudi
dn’
tchangeme,
instead
i
tmademest r
ongerandmademesetmyprior
it
ies
st
rai
ght.
”
Sabel
o:“
Iam pr
oudofyouandIam r
eal
lypr
oudt
o
cal
lyoumyex. ”Ilaughandhealsolaughs.“Iam
seri
ous.WhenIsitaroundatabl
ewi thbusi
ness
associ
ates,whenyounamecomesupIboastand
beli
ke:‘t
hat’
smyexr i
ghtt
her
e’.
”Icontinue
l
aughing.Iseehiswifeatt
hecornerofmyeyes
comingourway.

Me:“thankyouf
ort
hedanceLi
ndo.I
twasni
ce
seei
ngyou.”
Il
etgoofhi m andgobacktot hetabl
e.Ifi
ndit
empty,Il
ookar oundandseethecr ewatthebar.I
am notamazed.Iheadthere.Iam gladtheysaved
measeat .Isi
tdownandt hebar manquickl
yhands
memydr ink.Ithankhi
m andst ar
tdrinki
ng.

Me:“t
hisisourl
astni
ghther
e.Let
’smakei
twor
th
ourwhil
e.”
Li
ndsay:“
yesboss.Iseealotofpot
ent
ial
sher
e.”he
saysl
icki
nghi
slipsandIjustl
augh.
Wecont
inuedr
inki
ngandIgot
othel
oot
opee.I
rel
ievemysel
fandthenwashmyhands.AsIam
fi
xingmydress,someoneentersther
estr
oom.They
comet owhereIam.IcatchaglimpseofMathapel
o
i
nt hemir
rorandIjustdon’
tmindher.

Mathapelo:“
whodoyout hi
nkyouar e?”If
rown.
Maybeshei snottalki
ngtome.Asi fshereadsmy
mind,sheconti
nues.“Iam t
alkingtoyou.What
wereyoudoinginthedancef loort
hrowingyour
sel
f
atmyhusband? ”Iturnandlookather.
Me:“areyousureyouhavether
ightwoman?”her
facechangesandsheslapsmehard.Myeyespop
out.WhathaveIdone?

Mathapelo:“Ihaveheardofyou.Youar enothing
butaf atl
oosewomanwhowi l
ldi
esingle.Thisli
ttl
e
successofyour swon’tl
ast
.Ifyouthinkingof
warmingyour sel
fint
omyhusband’ sarms, t
hen
thi
nkagain.Nowt akeyoufatoil
yselfandgoback
towhicheverholeyoucamef rom.”Iam notan
emotionalpersonbutthi
swoman’ swor dsbring
tearst
omyeyes.Whatdi dIdo?Ijusttur
nandwal k
tothedoor.Shest
art
stalki
ngagain.“Youwi l
l
alwaysbesecondtoothermen, noonewillseeyou
worthyasnumberone,justl
ikemyhusbandwant ed
totakeyouashissecondbest.”

ThosewordshithomeandIt hinkaboutthefact
thatKuhl
ewantmet obehi ssecondbest .Ij
ustr
un
outandruntomyr oom crying.Idon’tevenknow
thi
swomanonaper sonallevel butal
readyshe
bringst
earst
omyeyes.
.
.
*
**LEE*
**
BothNomaandIt urntolookattherestroom door
becauseweknowt hatwhenshegoest here,she
doesn’
tstaylong.Wear eshockedt oseeher
comingoutandr unningtowardstheelevator.We
seeSabelo’
swi f
ecomi ngoutsmi l
ingandwej ust
knowthatshesaidsomet hingbadt oFuthy.Noma
doesn’
taskanything,shejustwalksstraightto
Mathapeloandthr
owsameanpuncht hatsends
herstrai
ghtt
othefloor
,landingonherbutt.
Everyonegaspsandturnt othei
rdir
ect
ion.Event
he
musicstops.Igotowher etheyarefol
lowedby
ever
yone.

Noma:“NEVER,NEVERANDEVERAGAI NBRING
HARM TOFUTHY.NEXTTI MEIWI LLENDYOUR
PATHETICLIFE.
”Shepunchesheragai
njustf
or
contr
olandr
ushestot
heelevat
or.Iqui
ckl
yfol
low
her.
WegettoFuthy’
sroom andeventhedoori
snot
shut
.Wefindherinthefl
oorontheot
hersi
deofthe
bedsobbi
ng.Wequicklyrusht
oherandhugher.

Noma:“Iam sor
ryforwhat
evershesaidtoyoubut
don’
tworryIsor
tedherout
.”shechuckl
esand
sni
ff
s.
Me:“
whatdi
dshesay?
”
Fut
hy:“
bul
lshi
t,ut
terbul
lshi
t.Buti
thur
tcomi
ng
fr
om her .Ontopofthatsheslappedme,sayingI
wast hrowingmyselfi
nherhusband.Likebitch
haveyouseenme?Iam goal s.”Shecont
inues
snif
fing.Yaziwhenyouthinkshehasaccepted
herselfforwhosheis,t
henpeopl el
ikeMathapelo
comeandt akeherbacktosquareone.

Me:“Nomacanyougi veusaf ewminutes?”she

gi
vesmeadeat hstar
e.“Justgodownstair
sand
orderusdr
inks.
”Shegruntsandstandsup.She
headsout.
Fut
hy:“
Idon’
twannat
alk.Ij
ustwannasl
eep.
”
Me:“
Tase…”
Fut
hy:“
please.
”Isi
gh.

Me:“okay.Juststandupandgetoutoft
hatdress.”
Shestandsupandchangesi ntoagown,shethen
goestothebat hr
oom andcomesbackwithherface
cl
earofmake- up.“Tomor
row.”
Fut
hy:“
tomor
row.
”Shehugsmeandt
henIhead
out.Ifi
ndNomaatt hedoorwit
htheot
hersandItel
l
them thatFut
hywishesnott
obedist
urbed.They
understandandt
henweheadbackt othebar.
.
.
*
**FUTHY*
**
Aftertwohour softossi
ngandt ur
ningIwakeup
andgodr inkwat er
.Iam dist
urbedbyaknockand
i
nitial
l
yfigureoutthatit
’sSandy.Maybehef or
got
hiskeycar d.IopenthedoorandIam surpri
sedt o
seeKuhlest andingontheothersideoft
hedoor .I
si
ghandwal kbackinsi
detheroom, hef
oll
owsme
andshutst hedoorbehindhim.

Me:“
whatdoyouwant
?”
Kuhl
e:“
you.
”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“
wher
ear
etheot
her
s?”
Kuhl
e:“
theyar
einLee’
sroom includi
ngSandi
le.
”I
st
andupandheadtotheclosettochangei
ntomy
ni
ght
ieandheadbacktothebedroom.Hestands
upandmeet smehalfwayandj
ustat
tacksmewith
aki
ss.Iki
sshim backandwhenreal
it
ykicksi
n,I
br
eakthekiss.

Me:“
Kuhl
eno.
”
Kuhl
e:“
please.
”

Hedoesn’ tevenwai tforananswer .Hej ustpi cks

meupandl eadsmet ot hebed.Her emovesmy
nightie,
leansdownandki ssesmyneck.Gent l
e
kisses,li
tt
lebitoftongue, butsover ynice.If eela
l
ittl
ewetdownt here.Thenhi shandslightlyr uball
overmypussyl ips.Hepr esseseachl eg, f
or cingme
toopent hem wi de.Helower shisheadt omyr ight
nipple.“Holyfuck,yournipplesar esofucki ng
awesome. ”Hee!IsthisKuhl e?Sincewhendoeshe
swearl i
ket hi
s?Ijustgiggle.

Heengul
fsmynippl
ewit
hhi
swetmouth,whil
eal so
sl
idi
ngafi
ngerbet
weenmyl
ips.OhGod,
final
ly!He
pressesfurt
her,sl
ippinghisfingerupandi nsidemy
pussynow.Idon’ tknowi ti
smeort hewet ness,but
everyt
hingissosl i
ck.Heslidesanot herf
inger
i
nsideme.“ FuckKuhl e.
”Icryoutinawhi sper .He
curl
shisfingersupwar dsabit,hit
ti
ngmyG- spot.

“OwwYes! ”Icr
yout .Hequickl
ystrokehishandin
andout,beingsuretoti
cklemyspoteacht i
me.
WhatthefuckisKuhl edoi
ngt ome?If eelawave
coming,i
t’
sappr oachi
ng.Hest r
okemycooki eand
workovermyni pplewithhismouth.Ipantandgri
p
thebedsheets,asmyhi psbuckoft hei
rownaccord.

Kuhler el
easesmyni ppleandcomesupt oki ssme.
Iti
ssounexpect ed,
andsowel come, ourtongues
connectandt hewavecr ushes.Icl ampmyl egs
togetheronKuhl e’
sfist
,furt
herpr essuri
ngmy
cookie.Elect
ri
cshocksemanat ef rom mycooki e
andspasm t hroughoutmywhol ebody.Thewave
keepscr ushi
ng.Kuhlestillj
erkshishandbackand
fort
h, onl
ysli
ghtlyasmyl egst raphishands.Buti t
’s
enough.Iscr
eam andmoanandt hr
owmany‘oh-
my
-gods’
asmyor gasm cont
inuest
owreckmybody.

Kuhle’
sotherhandmol estsmyt i
tssincehecan’
t
ki
ssmeanymor e.Howcanyouki ssapersonwho
i
sexper i
enci
ngami nd-blowingor gasm?Thewaves
fi
nall
ycomet oanend, andIl andbackonear t
h.I
openmyeyest oseeKuhl esmi l
ingandchuckli
nga
l
it
tlebit
.Iasktopleasurehim andhehel psmeup,
butit
’sahardtasksincemyl egsar ewobbly.

Her emoveshi scl ot

hes, t
henlaysdownont hebed,
faceupwi t
hhi sbigblackcockpoi nti
ngupt ome.I
cli
mbont hebedandgethol dofhiscock.Icar essi
t
slowlyandal sosqueezehi sball
sal i
ttl
e.Withbot h
hands, Icaresshim allover,evenreachingdown
andt ouchinghi sbutt
.Heseemst olikethat.Ihover
abovehi m anddangl emyboobsacr osshisf ace.
Het ri
est ocatchani ppleinhismout h,Ithent ease
him bypul l
ingawayatt helastmoment .
Hepul lsmedownont opofhim,andweki ssdeeply
asmyboobssmashi ntohischest.WhenIam
satisfi
edwi
ththekissing,Ipr
opmysel fup,grabhis
dickandguideitsl
owl yinsi
demycooki e…fuck.
Afterwearedonewi thoursecondr ound,ofhim
fuckingme,fucki
ngmehar d,f
uckingmedeep,
fuckingmefast,l
eavingmef eeli
ngcompl et
e,he
l
eavesmepant i
ngint hebed.Butfir
stl
yhediscards
ofthecondomsweused.

Ij
ustt akeashoweraf terheleavesandchanget he
sheetssot hatSandywon’ tnoti
ceanyt hi
ng.That
wast hebestsexIhaveeverhad.Ij ustdozeoffthe
mi nut
emyheadhi t
st hepill
ow.Seemsl i
keKuhle’s
dickwast heonlysleepingmedi cat
ionIneeded.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
01] :CHAPTER37
Thefoll
owingmor ningIwakeupt oSandy’ shands
wrappedaroundmybody.ThewayKuhl esexedme
l
astnight,
Ididn’tevenhearSandilegetti
ngintobed.
Anyways,Isitupstraightandthenclimboffthebed.
Iwearmygownandheadt othebathroom.Iwash,
brushmyt eethandt hendrymyself.Iheadtothe
cl
osetandl ot
ionmybody.

Iwearabl ackdeni m mi niski

rt,
pull
ingitjustabove
mybel l
ybut ton,thenabl ackcroptop,Black
JourneyEdi t
ionSuedeBat huSneaker sandbl ack
deni
mj ean.Itakeaf ewmi r
rorsnaps.WhenIam
done,Ipackal lmycl othesanddoubl echeckt hatI
di
dn’tleaveanyt hing.Ithenheadoutwi thmyphone
onmyhand.
Iheadoutt hehot elandj usttakeawal karoundt he
hotel
,enjoyingthemor ningbr eeze.Ial
waysdot his
whenIvi sithot
elsorl odges.Thi sistheonlytimeI
gettobeonewi thmyi nnersel fandhavea
conversati
onwi thmyi ntel
lectualself
.Thereisal ot
goingoni nmyl if
e.Ther eisal otIhaveachieved.
Thereisal otIam yett oachi eve.Toyoungpeopl e
outthere,skyisnott helimitbutonl ythestart.

Wor khardunt i
lyoudon’ thavetointroduceyour
self
whenyouent eraplace.Letyourwor kand
reputati
onspeakf oritself
.Usetheski l
lsyouhave
toacquirewhatyouwantandneed.Thi sthi
ngof
sit
ti
ngar oundwai ti
ngf orjobopportunit
iesmust
stop.Ifyouhaveapassi oni nacertai
nskill
,got
o
schooltoenhanceyourski llsothatyoucan
becomef i
nancial
lyindependentandsuccessf ul
.

Il
ookaroundandseepeoplej
oggi
ng.Ithi
nkIam
goi
ngtoturnoneoftheroomsinmyhousetoanin-
housegym.NotbecauseIwannalosewei
ght.Ij
ust
wanttobefitandavoiddi
abetesandhighblood
pressur
e.Iwil
lbuyallt
heequipmentformy
housematesbutIwil
lonlyusethetr
eadmil
l.Itwi
ll
poseasjogging.

Aft
eranhourorsoIheadbacki nsi
deandfindmost
oft
hecrewinthelobby.Theyarepaci
ngupside
downli
ketheylostsomethi
ng.Theyseem str
essed.

Me:“
what’sup?”t
heyal
ltur
ntolookatmeandmy
f
ri
endsrushtohugme.“Youguysarewor
ryi
ngme.
What
’sgoingon?”
Lee:“
wet
houghtsomethi
nghappenedt
oyou.
”I
fr
ownandlookather
.
Noma:“
yeah,
yeah.Weknowyourtradi
ti
onbutwe
wer
eworri
edaft
erwhathappenedl
astnight
.”
Me:“r
elaxguys.Iam f
ine.Whatar
ewehavi
ngf
or
br
eakfast
?”theychuckl
e.

Zah:“
let
’sheadt
othedi
ninghal
lsot
hatwecansee
whattheyhaveforus.”theyallheadt
hereandjust
asIam abouttofol
lowt hem,Kuhlegrabsmyhand.
Nobodynot i
cest
his,theyareallnowheadedtothe
hallmakingsomuchnoi se.Il
ookathishandand
stareathim.Hequicklyremoveshishand.
Kuhl
e:“
aboutl
astni
ght
…”
Me:“wefuckedandi
tendedt
her
e.Don’
tcat
ch
f
eeli
ngs.
”

Kuhl
e:“howcanInotwheni
alr
eadyl
oveyou?”he
hal
fshoutsandIpl
acemyhandinhi
smouth.
Me:“notsol oud.Youwannamaket hef
ront
pages?”Igivehim anintensel
ookt
henIremovemy
handfrom hismout h.“
Whathappenedl
astnight
meantnothing.”

Kuhle:“itmeansandi tchangeseveryt
hing.Fuck
yourfearofbei nginarelati
onshi
p.Justsoyou
know, Iam nevergivi
nguponyouandIam never
goingtor estunti
lyourlastnameisZulu.”Hetur
ns
andgoestothedi
recti
onwhereeveryonewent
.
FuckthatwassohotandIcanfeelt
hatmypantyi
s
soaki
ngwet.Ij
ustli
ckmyli
psandf oll
owhim.
.
.
Wel andatKi ngShakaai r
portlat
erthatdayandj ust
asweappr oachtheentryway, wefi
ndt heot her
Ntulibrot
her swit
hLeleandYandi sa’swi fe.Ifrown
whenIseeLel e’
sluggage.Sohewasl eaving
withouttel
lingme?Somuchf orbei
ngf amilyneh.I
headt owher etheyarestandingandj ustst andin
fr
ontofhi m.Hedodgesmyeyesunt ilIst eponhi s
l
eftfoot.

Lel
e:“
ouch!
”hecr
iesj
umpi
ngup.
Me:“soyouwer
ejustgoi
ngt
oleavewi
thoutsayi
ng
goodbye?
”
Lel
e:“
Iam sorr
ysisi.Iwantedtot
ellyouonFr
iday
bef
oreyoulef
tbutitjustsl
ippedmymi nd.
”
Me:“
mmm.
”
Lele:“
canIpl
easemakeitupt oyou?”Ij
ustst
areat
him.“Iti
sgoi
ngtobeasurpri
se.Ipromiseiti
s
goingtobeepicandyouwil
lloveit
.”
Me:“
what
ever
.”Ihughi
m.“
Saf
etr
avel
s.”
Lel
e:“
thankyou.
”

Iseemyguar dscomi ngtooursideandIsmi le.I

am sousedt ohavingthem around.Iactuall
y
missedthem.Theygr eetusandt akemyl uggage.
Sandil
eisalsoleavingwit
hhi sbrother
s,sowesay
ourgoodbyesandt henweal lgooursepar ateways.
.
.
Thedaybef oreyesterdayIwenttoJo’burgto
fi
nali
zet hepaperworkoft hebui
ldi
ngIboughtther
e.
YesterdayIfi
nali
zedever ythi
ngintheCapeTown
buil
ding.TodayisWednesdayandIhavean
i
nterviewwithPrejudi
ceMagazi ne.Theypubli
sh
art
icl
esaboutbusi nessowner sandentrepr
eneur
s.I
don’
tknowwhotoldpeopl
eaboutmyAAA
nominat
ion,
butt
hisi
nter
viewi
sbecauseoft
hat
.

Leeist heonewhochosemyout fi
ttoday,whichisa
must ardpantsui twit
hblackbodysui tandblack
anklest r
aphi ghheels.Shealsostyledmyhai rand
fi
xedmymake- up.You’dswearshewasn’ tgoingto
workt oday,thewayshewasr el
axed.Theedi tor
andhert eam ar ecomingt omyof f
ice.Theywantt o
doaphot oshooti nmyof fi
cewhenwear edone
wit
ht hei nt
erview.ZahandLi ndsayal sofi
xed
ref
reshment sf orthem.theyaredramat icthosetwo.

ThecrewcomesandZahaccompani esthem tomy

offi
ce.Theyenterandweexchangegr eeti
ngs.They
thensettl
edownandsetupever yt
hing.Theedi t
or
i
ntroduceshersel
fasOvayoZuma.Shel ooks
fri
endly,
ormaybei ti
spar
tofherjob, don’
tknow.

Ovayo:“
befor
ewestart
,Khul
isananial
soaskedfor
aTVinter
viewwi
thyou.Theproduceri
saclose
fri
endofmi ne,soheaskedifyoucanmaybecome
foranint
erviewtomorroweveningattheirst
udios.”
Khuli
sananiisaTVshowwhi chbasical
lyisabout
t
heyout hdevelopment.Iam honor
edbyt hisi
nvite.
Me:“Ihavenoprobl
em doi
ngthat
.Pleasetel
lthe
producertof
orwar
dallt
heinf
ormati
ont omyPA. ”
shesmi l
es.

Ovayo:“gr
eatt
hen.Thecameracrewwon’ thavea
separat
eti
mef ort
hephotoshoot,buti
nsteadthey
wil
ltakephot
oswhilet
heinter
viewissti
llgoi
ngon.”
Me:“f
inebyme. ”shetakesouthernotebookand
penandstartscri
bbl
ingsomething.Shetakesouta
taper
ecorderandplacesiti
nthetable.

Ovayo:“sotel
lus,
thi
spassi
onf
ordr
awi
ng,
wher
e
di
ditallst
art?
”Ismil
e.
Me:“eversi
nceIwasyoung, Iusedt
odrawhouses,
br
idgesandotherbui
ldi
ngs.ButIhadnoexper
ience,
soIdrewwithoutusi
ngarulerandsometi
mes
usingapen.Idr ewonmyschoolbooksandi t
usuallygotmei ntroubl
ewit
hmyt eachers.My
parentssawt hisandmymot herboughtanot ebook
forme.Sincet henIstart
edt
akingmydr awings
seriousl
y.IevenstudiedEGDinschool.
”shenods.

Ovayo:“
didyouhaveavi
sionofstar
tingyourown
companywhenyouwereat eenager
?”
Me:“nope.Ij
ustwantedtobeanarchi
tect,
but
whenIgottovarsi
tyIwantedmore.That’
swhenI
wentbacktomyvisionboardandadded
Dubandlel
aConstr
uctionCompanyonmymap. ”

Ovayo:“howdidyouprevi
ousemployerf
eelwhen
heheardthatyouwantedtol
eavehiscompanyand
st
artyourown?”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“BabuHlongwai
smor ethanjustmypr evi
ous
employer
.Hewasmyl ect
urerandmysecond
fat
her.Hetookmeunderhi
swi ngandment oredme.
HetaughtmemostofthethingsIknow.Itoldhim
aboutDCCwhenIalr
eadyhadt hecapit
al,
already
boughtabui l
dingt
hatIwoul
dstartmycompanyat.
InfactIknewifIwenttohi
m wit
hani ncomplet
e
plan,hewouldshutmedown.Hewor kswit
h
perfect
ion,soIwentt
ohim wi
thperfecti
on.
”

“Heshedaf ewtear
sbuthewashappyf orme.He
waspr oudofme.Evennowhesti
llboastsabout
met ohispeer
s.Hedoesn’
tcal
lmehi sstudentor
previ
ousemployeebuther
efer
stomeashi s
daughter.
”
Ovayo:“
soundsl
ikeanobl
eman.
”
Me:“
thathei
s.”

Ovayo:“soyouwerenominat
edforAf
ri
can
Archi
tectur
eAwards,
tel
lus,howdoesthatf
eel
?”
Me:“ i
t’
slikeadr eam comet r
ue.TheAf r
ican
Archit
ectureAwar dsarenotonlyabouttheawards,
buttheymeanr ecogniti
on.Theymeanyouar e
recognizedforyourhar dwork.Theyopendoor sfor
you.Becauseoft hisnominat
ion,Igotaninvi
teto
oneofthebiggestbusi
nessconfer
encesi
nthe
worl
d.Iam veryhonoredbythi
snominati
onandI
am ver
yhappyabouti t
.”

Ovayo:“
howdoesyourf
ami
lyf
eelabouti
t?”Ismi
le.
Me:“Ihavet hestrongestsupportsyst
em ever.My
familyaremybi ggestcheers.Theywereovert he
moonwhenIt oldthem aboutthis.Havi
ngaf ami l
y
thatcheersonyouwhenyouar edoinggreatthings
andcr ywithyouwhenyouar efacinghardti
mes, i
s
oneoft hegreat
estf eel
ingsever.
”

Ovayo:“
andyourf
ri
ends?Howdi
dtheyf
eelabout
i
t?”
Me:“Ihavetwobestf r
iends,Nomalangaand
Li
ndelwa,whom Iconsiderasmyf amily.Theywer
e
sohappyaboutthis.Iam prett
ysuretheyare
comingtoLibyawithme. ”

Ovayo:“
Iknowt
hisi
snotwor
krel
ated,
butcanIask
aquesti
onthathasbeenbotheri
ngmostpeople?
”I
l
aughbecauseIalreadyknowthatshei
sgoingto
askaboutmyrelat
ionshi
pstat
us.
Me:“
fi
reaway.
”Shechuckl
es.

Ovayo:“
lastmonth,youwer eseenmi ngl
ingwi
th
Shamase,thesoccerplayer.Heevenwentasfaras
decl
ari
ngyourloveonsoci almedia.Fir
stl
ywhat’
s
yourcommentont hat?
”
Me:“Ineverdatedhim orhadt
heint
entionofdating
him.Wej ustwentoutonadate,whi
chIwoul dn’
t
saywasadat epersaybecausewej ustfoundeach
otheronthatlocat
ion.Wedon’
thaveanythingin
common.That ’
swhyIneverwil
ldat
ehim. ”she
chuckles.

Ovayo:“neversaynever.”Ilaughandt hecamera
crewalsolaugh.“Soaboutt heNt ul
ibrot
her,Sandi
le,
ther
ehasbeenpi cturescirculat
ingonsocialmedia
ofyouguysl ooki
ngrathercozyandhavi ngwhatI
thi
nkaredat esonrestaurants.What’syour
commentont
hat
?”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“
nocomment
.”Shel
aughs.

Ovayo:“
busi
nessi
cal
ly,
wher
edoyouseeyour
sel
f
i
n5years?”
Me:“ goi
nggl obal.Iwantt oexpandandhave
branchesinatl east5ot herAfri
cancountriesand
maybe4count ri
esfrom otherconti
nents.Iwantt he
Celenamet obeknownwor l
dwide.AlsoIam pr oud
toannouncet hatDubandl el
aConstructi
on
Companyi sgi vingout10bur sari
esf ort
henext
academi cyeart oquali
fyingstudentswhowi llbe
studyingarchitectur
eandengi neeri
ng.”

Ovayo:“wowt
hat’
sawesome.Thankyouf
ort
aki
ng
yourti
meandhavi
ngusinyouroff
ice.
”
Me:anyt
ime.
”
Ovayo:“t
hat
’sawr
apever
yone.Youcant
aket
he
photosnow.
”
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
02] :CHAPTER38

Iam nervousandexci t
edabouttoni
ght.Ihave
neverbeenaguestspeakert osuchahugeevent .
It
’sagaladinnerforthestudent
sbuttheyarealso
honoringme.Talkabouthi t
ti
ngtwobirdswithone
stone.Myguar dsareaccompanyingme, t
ogether
withZah.Xoliwassupposedt ocomebut
Phumudzoseupameet i
ngforhert
omeethi s
parents.

Thei
rrel
ati
onshipi
sseri
ous.Theyhaveeven
tr
endedonsocialmedi
a.That’
swhereherparent
s
sawt henews.Theydemandedameet ingwith
Phumudzonextweek.Phumudzot oldmet hat,on
thatday,hewi l
lbebri
nginghi sfamily
represent
ativeswit
hsot hathecanpayl obolafor
Xoli
.Yeaht hat’
showser i
oust herelati
onshipis.
Theywannasur pr
iseXoli’
sfather.SoIwasgi ven
thetasktotalktoXoli
’smot hersothatshecan
gatherfamilyrepr
esentati
vesonhersi de.

IwenttoNoluh’sboutiqueagai n.Thist i
mear ound
sheadvisedmeonar edobl iquecollarsequinfloor
-
l
engthsexymer mai ddresswi thgoldheel sandgold
purse.Weallf
inishgetti
ngr eadyandt hendriveto
Wits.Wegetthereandanusherl eadsust oa
pri
vatedini
nghal l
.ThereIam metbysome
l
ecturersandtheeventor ganizer.Heintroduces
himselfasMalibongweMbeki .Weexchange
greeti
ngs.

Mali
:“whatanhonort
obei
nyourpr
esenceMi
ss
Cel
e.”Ismil
e.
Me:“ pleasecallmeFuthyorNt ombi.MissCelei
s
mydr unkardaunt.
”Theyalll
augh.Whi l
ewear esti
ll
tal
king, someonesneaksbehindmeandcovermy
eyes.Thei rhandsfeel
roughandedgy.Ij ustsmi
le.
“Daddynumber2. ”Hechuckles.It
urntolookat
him andhughi m.

Hl
ongwa:“
howar
eyoumyangel
?”
Me:“
Iam f
inedaddy.
”Ialsohughiswi
fewhoi
s
l
ooki
nggorgeousi
nasilvergown.
Mali
:“okay,t
heeventi
saboutt
ost
art
,sopl
ease
f
oll
owmet hi
sside.
”

Hel eadsust othehal lwheret heeventi

sbei ngheld.
Heshowsusourt ableandweset t
ledown.The
studentsaredressedl i
ketheyar eatt
endingtheMet
GalaortheOscar s.Thepr ogrammest art
s.Ther e
areevenent ert
ainmenti tems.TheMCi ntroduces
someonewhoi sgoi ngtointr
oducemeast heguest
speaker.Thegirlgoest othefrontandstartstal
king.
Tlago:“ thenextspeaker ,whichi sourmai nspeaker ,
wasbor nandr aisedinMor ni
ngsi de, Dur ban,in
KwaZul u-Natal.Sheist hesecondchi ldofSi jabulile
andSi yabul el
aCel e.Shehasf oursi bli
ngs.Shedi d
herpr imar yeducat i
oni nDur ban.Shet henf urt
her ed
herst udiesint heUni versit
yofWi t
swher eshedi d
herdegr eeinAr chit
ecture.Sheal sodi dan
Engineer ingdiploma.Shet henf urtheredherst udi es
againbydoi ngherhonor sdegr ee.Shegr aduated
forherMast er’sdegreet hisyeari nthissame
i
nstitutionandshei scur rentlyint hej ourneyof
doingherPhDher e.Ladiesandgent lemenpl ease
standupandhel pmewel comeourguestspeaker
fortonight ,MissNt ombi fut
hiLwandl elethuCele. ”
Everyonest andsupandst artclappi ng.Ial sost and
upandmakemywayt ot hefront .Shehugsmef i
rst
andt henshehandsmet hemi csqueal ing.

Me:“eveni
ngever
yone.Mynamei s…”Ichuckl
e
whenIrememberthatIhaveal
readybeen
i
ntr
oducedandtheyalll
augh.“
Oldhabit
s.Iam ver
y
honor edt obeher e.Iwil
lfi
rststartbysayingthat
youal lareveryluckyt obeher eint hi
sinsti
tut
ion,
thoughyoudi dn’thavethepleasur eofbeingtaught
byDr .Hl ongwa,”theychuckle.“Justkidding.Allt
he
l
ecturersar eawesome.I ft
heywer en’
tthenI
wouldn’ tbewher eIam today.”

“Mypassi onfordrawingstart
edi npri
mar yschool.
Whenmypar entssawt hatinsteadofplayingwith
doll
s,Iprefer
reddrawingbui l
dings,t
heyst ar
ted
buyingdrawingmat er
ialsforme.Whenyouhave
parentsl
ikemi ne,whocheeronyouf rom anearly
age,consideryoursel
flucky.Ihaveabr otherwhois
amusi ci
an.Whenhet oldmypar entsthathewant s
tostudymusi c,t
heywer eahundr edpercentbehind
him andhewassohappyaboutt hat
.”

Studentfr
om t
hecrowd:“what’
syourbr
other
’s
name? ”Il
aughandtheyal
llaugh.
Me:“Googl
emeandyouwill
seehisname.
”theyal
l
cheeronme.“
Anywaysst
udyingf
orsomet
hingyou
l
ikemaybeawesomebutuni versit
yi stoughguys.I
didget50%onsomet estsandInevergaveup
becauseoft hat.50%i samar kt hatyouhavet obe
usedt oinvar sity.WheneverIf ail
edIwoul dcal lmy
dadandcr yt ohi m.Hewoul dremi ndmeoft he
reasonwhyIwentt ovar sit
yagai n.WhenI
compl etedmydegr ee,Iknewt hatmomentt hatI
wannabecal ledDr .Celeinthef uture.Ihavet wo
bestfriendswhoal sost udi
edher e.Wei nfluenced
eachot herindoi ngasecondqual i
ficat
ionbesi de
ourf i
rstdegr ee.That ’
swhenIst udiedengi neering
withmybestf ri
endwhi chisNomawhoi sal awyer.
Theot herf r
iendf urtheredherst udiesandshei s
currentlyadoct orbypr ofessi
onandbycer ti
ficate.
”
Theyal lclap.

“ThereisnotmuchIhavet osay,justthatgoodluck
andIwi shyouguysal lt
hebest.Anythingis
possible.TodayIhavemyowncompanybecauseI
beli
evedi nmyselfandItol
dmysel ft
hatIcando
anythingthatIputmymi ndto.TodayIam oneof
thebestar chi
tect
sintheworldandthat ’
sbecauseI
bel
ievedinmyselfandIbecamemynumberone
i
nspirat
ionandrolemodel.
”

“Ihavegoodnewsf oryouguys.Nextyear ,Iam

providi
nginternshipsf orf iveluckyst udent
s.Please
note,Iam notprovi dingf ort heoneswhohavegr eat
mar ksandexcelint heirmodul es.Everyonewi l
l
haveachancet opr ovet hemsel vest ome.Iwant
youguyst osubmi tatl eastdr awi ngsofthr
ee
buil
dingsandamot i
vat i
onall ett
erstati
ngwhyI
shouldhireyou.Int ernshi patDCCmeanst hatyou
areaper manentempl oyer, youjusthavet oundergo
trai
ningandpr ovet hatyouar ewhatweneedat
DCC.Pl easeemai lwhatIhavej ustsaidat
zaneledcc@gmai l.com.Thankyousomuchf or
havingandhaveabl essedeveni ng.Goodluckwi th
yourexams. ”Theyal lclapt heirhandsasIgot omy
seat.

Zah:“thatwasawesomeboss.Althoughyou
surpr
isedmewi t
hthatannouncement.Nowyouar
e
goi
ngtocrowdmyemai laddr
ess.
”Ij
ustl
augh.I
al
sosurpr
isedmysel
f.
Hlongwa:“
for
war
danot
herf
ivet
omyPAZanel
e.”I
smile.

Me:“Iknewyouwouldbet empted.”Helaughs.
“Anyways,Iact
ual
lywantfif
teen,f
ivef
oreach
branch,butIdi
dn’
twannaannounceaboutt henew
branchesbefor
eevenconstruct
ionhasbegun.”
Mam Hlongwa:“
youareverybl
essedmychi
ldand
youhaveagoodheart
.MayGodcont i
nuet
obless
youwit
hmanyt hi
ngsi
nlife.
”Ismil
e.

Me:“ t
hankyouma. ”Theeventconti
nuesandwe
arelatercal
ledandusher
edbackt othepri
vat
e
di
ninghal l
.Thefoodisal
readysetforus.Wesit
downandt heydi
shforus.
Zamoh:“
Icangetusedt
othi
s.”Wel
augh.

West
arteat
ingandImustsayt
hef
oodi
sdel
ici
ous.
Whenwef i
nisheat ing,theyaskmet ogobackt o
themainhalltotakepi ctur
eswiththest udent s.Ido
thatandwhenwear edone,theyhandmeanawar d
andacerti
fi
cat e.Theyar esobeaut if
ul.Wel eave
andgettoLele’shouse.Hei snother ebecausehe
hasagiginPr etori
a.It’
safter9pm.If reshenupand
wearmynavycr opt opandmat chingmi niski
rt.I
thenwearat r
enchcoatandsandal s.

It
hentakemyhandbagandheadtothelounge
whereIf
indt
heguardssit
ti
ngandwatchingTV.
Ther
eisnosignofZanel
e.
Me:“
wher
eisZanel
e?”
Mabut
ho:“
Mbusocamet
ofet
chherawhi
leago.
”
Me:“
mmm.
”

Isi
tdownandcal lLel
e.Iaskhimtosendme
Sandil
e’
saddress.Hedoesn’tevenaskquest
ions,
hejustsendsi
t.IaskZamoht odri
vemet her
e.
Whenwegett oSandile’
shouse,wefindt
hegate
wideopen.Icli
mbof fandheadt
othedoorwhichi
s
al
soopen.IgetinsideandIam i
nawe.Hishousei
s
sobeauti
fulandclean.

Thereismusi cplayingbuti t
’scomi ngf rom upstai
rs,
soIfoll
owi t.I
t’
snosur pri
set hathei splaying
music.Hei s,af
terall,amusi cian.IgettowhatI
assumei sthemai nbedr oom.Iam sayi ngthat
becauseitsdoori sdiffer
entanduni que.Iopeni t
andmymout hgoesdr y.Idon’ tevenknowt he
nameoft hesexposi t
iontheyar edoi ngbutt heyare
bothontopoft hebed.Sandi leisholdingherl egs
farapart
,Iam afraidtheyar egoi ngtodet achf r
om
herbody.Igot othem andt aphi m ontheshoul der.

Me:“ hi
.”Hef r
eezeswhenheseesmeandt ri
est
o
pullout.“Don’
tbother.Therei
snothi
ngwrongwit
h
whatyoudoi ngbutjustknowt hatwhat
ever
rel
ationshipwehadi sover.Haveanicel
if
eSandi
le
Ntuli
.”
Ir
unout
sideandhopi
nthecar
.Zamohdr
ivesout
wi
thoutanyquest
ions.
Me:“dri
vetothehouseandgetMabut
hoand
Thobeka.Wearegoingcl
ubbi
ngtoni
ght.Theni
ght
i
sstil
lyoung.
”
Zamoh:“
sur
eboss.
”

AsmuchasIsomehowcheat edonSandi l
ewi t
h
Kuhle,ithurt
s,whathedid.Idi dn’
tlovehim butI
wasst arti
ngtoli
kehim.Thi stakesmebackt othe
ti
mewhenSabel oscrewedmeover .Fuck!Thisis
thereasonwhyIdon’ tdate.Theseni ggasain’
tloyal
,
yett
heyexpectust obel oyal.Fuckr el
ati
onships.I
wipeat earthatf
all
sdownmycheek.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
02] :CHAPTER39
Zamohdr i
vesmet oSMGaf terbuyingl unchat
Steers.It
’sMondayandSandi lehasbeenbl owing
upmyphone.Ibl ockedhim onallsocialaccounts
becausehewasbecomi nganui sance.Sakhileeven
call
edt obegonhi sbrot
her’
sbehal f.Ij
usttoldhi
m
thati
fhest i
llwantstobeonmygoodbooks, he
shouldstopadvocat i
ngforhisbrother.

Heknewt heconsequencesofwhathewasdoing
andheisonlysorrybecausehegotcaught.Weget
tomymot her
’soffi
ceandshesmi l
eswhenshe
seesme.Mabut hogreet
sandplacesthefoodon
thetabl
e,het
henheadsout .

Mom:“mybaby,
whatani
cesur
pri
se.
”Shest
ands
andcomest
ohugme.
Me:“
mama.
”Ij
ustbr
eakdowni
nherar
msandcr
y.
Sheti
ght
ensherar
msar
oundmeandIj
ustl
eti
tal
l
out
.

Sheleadsmet othecouchandwebot hsitdown.I

conti
nuecryingonherarmsuntilIhavehiccups.
Shestandsupandgoest otakebottl
edwat erfr
om
herbarfr
idge.Shehandsmei tandIdrink.Ical
m
downandwi pemyt ear
s.Shesitsnexttomeagai n.

Mom:“
wannat
alkabouti
t?”Inod.
Me:“myl ovel i
feisamess.Ican’ tseem toget
anyt
hingr ightma.Fi r
stitwasSabelo,whochose
hisi
nher i
tanceoverme.Thenj ustwhenIwasl ivi
ng
astr
ess- f
reel i
fe,t
hreemencamet omyl i
feand
complicatedi t
.Thefirstonecouldn’
tgetenough
anddidn’tknowt hemeani ngofrej
ecti
on.Hewent
ontohumi li
atemei npublic.Thesecondoneasked
metomar ryhim andbehi ssecondwife.Thethir
d
onecour t
edmeandIgavehi m achance.WhenI
wasstartingt oli
kehim, hecheatedonme. ”
Freshtearsstream downmycheeks.Ir eali
zet hat
Sandil
e’sactionsopenedupol dwounds.I t
remindedmeoft hepainthatIwentt
hr oughwhen
Sabelochoseanot herwomanoverme.I thurtsso
muchandMat hapel
o’swordskeepringing.Even
thoughshei sanon- f
actor
,whatshesai dst uck.
Menwi llal
waysconsi dermeasecondopt i
onwhen
Itrysohardtopr ovetoanyonethatIam enough.

Me:“
ithurt
smat hatt
heydon’
tseemeaswhoIam.
It
houghtIwasenough.Whatisi
tthatIam
l
acki
ng?”Icont
inuecryi
ng.Mom si
ghsoutloud.
Mom:“ youaremorethanenoughbaby.Theyar
eal
l
f
oolsfornotseei
ngthat.Nowtellmewhothese
mensot hatIcangoandgivethem mypeaceof
mind.
”Ichuckle.

Me:“ Mvelo,t
heonewhodeclar
edhisloveformeon
socialmedia,i
stheonewhofeel
sli
kehei sent
it
led
tomyl ove.Heistheonewhoisdi
dn’ttakemy
rej
ectionverywell
.Theot
heronei
sSandi l
e.Heisa
produceratLel e’
swor k.Ifoundhi mi nbedwi th
anotherwomanonFr idayni ght.Thethir
donei s
PrinceKuhl eoftheZul uKingdom.Hecour t
edme
andsai dhewant smet obehi ssecondwi f
e.WhenI
deniedt hat,hesaidheisevenwi ll
ingtodivorcehis
wifef orme.Imadeami stakebysl eepi
ngwi thhim,
nowhet hi
nkshei senti
tledtomeandhesai dhe
won’ trestunti
lmysur namei sZulu.”

Mom:“ yoh,theyhavei tbadfortheCeleprincess.”I

burstoutlaughingandsheal solaughs.“Theyal l
soundl i
keassholest ome,butthereareonl ytwo
whohavepot enti
al.Theproducerandthepr ince.
Thesoccerpl ayeristoomuchf ormyl i
kingandI
don’tl
ikehisatti
tude.”
Me:“
whatshoul
dIdo?
”

Mom:“ t
aketimetoregr
oupandf i
ndyour self
.The
factt
hatyouarenotdati
ngisapr oblem baby.You
haven’
theal
edfrom whatthatSi
mel aneboydi dto
you.Goforther
apyorgotoar esortorthe
r
ehabil
it
ati
oncent
erf
ort
hedepr
essed.
”Iwi
pemy
t
ears.
Me:“
doyouknowwher
ethatpl
acei
s?”

Mom:“ it
’scall
edWomal enaResor t
.Itissit
uat
edin
Limpopoi nThohoyandou.Itusuall
ytakesabout
twotothreemont hstohealinthatplace.
Somet i
mesi tt
akesupt oayear .Whatisgoodabout
i
tisthattheygiveyouaSat urdayoffeveryoncei
n
awhile.Gothere.Itwi
llbegoodf oryou.”Il
ookat
her.
Me:“
yout
hinkso?
”

Mom:“IknowsomylovebecauseIoncewentt
her
e
andt
heyhelpedme.
”
Me:“youarenotgoingt
otel
lmewhatmadeyougo
t
here?”shelaughs.
Mom:“
nope.
”Ial
sol
augh.
Me:“
IguessIhavet
osaygoodbyet
odadt
hen.
”
Mom:“ pleasedo.Youdon’twanthimt urni
ngt he
whol eofSouthAfri
caupsidedownl ookingforyou.
”
Ilaughbecausethatisn’
tfarf
etched.Dadcanbe
crazysomet i
mes.“Whenar eyouplanningongoi ng
there?”
Me:“
Wednesday.
”
Mom:“okay.Iwi
llcal
lthem andtel
lthem aboutyou.
Iwi
llal
somakeadeposi tforyou.
”

Me:“
butmaIhavemoney,
Icanpay.
”
Mom:“
bit
chplease,Ibroughtyoutot
hiswor
ld,
so
l
etmebeyourblesser
.”Ichuckle.
.
.
Iam alsobr i
ngi
ngdadl unchtoday,
wellit
’sear
ly
l
unchbecausei ti
sst i
ll12pm.Igettohisworkpl
ace
andther ecepti
onistsmi l
ewidelywhensheseesme.
Shehasal waysbeenf ri
endl
yandwel coming.We
exchangegr eet
ingsandt henIheadt odad’sof
fi
ce.
WhenIgetther
eIfi
ndhim st
andingneart
he
wi
ndowwi t
hhisbackt
urnedtothedoor.

Me:“
sirar
eyoubusy?
”Isayi
nadi
ff
erentt
one.
Dad:“notatall
.”hetur
nsandhel aughswhenhe
seesme.“ Whatapleasantsurpr
ise.
”Igeti
nside
andplacethefoodonhi stabl
e.Igohughim and
thensitonhischair
.“Bei
ngyourownbosshas
spoil
edyou.Youseatont hebiggestchai
rinever
y
offi
ceyougetto.”Il
augh.

Me:“dadpl
ease.Iam aceleb.Youshouldal
ways
givemethemostcomf or
tableandbigchai
rint
he
room.”
Dad:“wellt
hecouchisthereforareason.”Hesays
seati
ngoppositeme.“Andtomeyouar en’tacel
eb
becauseIbroughtyoutothi
swor l
d.InfactIam the
realcel
ebbecauseIproducedextr
aordinary
sperms.”Il
augh.
Me:“whateveroldman.”Ist
andupanddishforthe
bothofusandt henser
vehim.Ialsot
akemyf ood
andsitdown.“Soareyouokay?”hechuckl
es
shaki
nghishead.
Dad:“
Iknewsomet
hingbr
oughtyouher
e.Soout
wit
hit
.”
Me:“
Iam goingtoLi
mpopoforafewweeks,
maybe
amonthortwo.”Hefr
ownsandlooksatme.

Dad:“
why?
”
Me:“Iwannaregr
oupandfi
ndmysel
f.Iwannafal
l
i
nloveandgiveyougr
andki
dsdad.
”Hesighsand
st
opseating.
Dad:“
ist
hatr
eal
lywhatyouwant
?”
Me:“
what
?”
Dad:“
havi
ngki
dsandal
if
epar
tner
?”If
rown.
Me:“
don’
tyouwantgr
andki
ds?
”

Dad:“
IdobutIwoul
dn’
tdemandt
hem orf
orceyou
tochangeyourpl ans.Babyyourli
feisalreadybusy.
Youar eexpandingyourbusinesslocall
yand
globall
y.Youalreadyhaveapl anonhowt henext
fi
veyear sisgoingtogo.Idon’twantyout ofeel
pressuredint
ohavi ngahusbandandki ds.Ther eis
nor ush.Iwantyout odowhatyouwantnotwhat
yout hi
nkwewant .
”Iwipemyt earsthatarealready
fall
ing.DadisthebestfatherandifIwasgi venan
oppor t
unit
ytochoosewhomypar entswoul dbe,I
woul dchoosehi m andmom overandoveragai n.

Me:“Il
oveyousomuchdadandt hankyou.ButI
wannadothisanditnecessar
il
ydoesn’
tmeant hatI
am get
ti
ngmar r
iedwhenIgetback.”Hechuckl
es.
Dad:“
justsoyouknow,what
everyoudeci
de,
Iam
hundr
edpercentbehi
ndyou.
”Ismileandl
ookat
hi
m.
Me:“
thanksdad.
”
.
.
Ifinishpackingmycl othesi nmyl argesui
tcase.I
t’
s
al
r eadyint heevening.Ihavegi venallmy
housemat esadayof f.Ialsoaskedf orsomealone
ti
mei nmyhouse.Yest erdayIwentt otheoffi
ceand
madeBobandZahact i
ngco- CEOs.Itakemybags
andgopl acethem inAst onMar ti
n.Idri
veitand
par kitnearthefrontdoor .Igobackt omyroom and
placet helett
ersIhavewr it
teninmybed.Isent
Mvel o,KuhleandSandi l
eschedul edemail
s.Iknow
byt het i
met heygetthem, Iwil
lbelonggone.

Iswitchoffmyallmygadget sandal soplacethem

onmybed.Il ookaroundmyr oom forthelastti
me
andthenheadout .Ilockmyhouseanddr iveout.
Thehousemat eshavespar ekeys,soIam not
l
ockingthem out.Ifi
rstdri
vetothepetrolstati
onto
fi
llupthetank.It
henj oi
ntheN1andal lr
oadsl ead
toThohoyandou.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
03] :CHAPTER40(
Unedi
ted)

*
**LEE*
**
Mybodyguar dsar eBabalwaShabal alaandGi ft
Mokoena.Wel lBabalwaiscoolanddownt oearth
j
ustl i
keThobeka.Whi l
eGi f
tisamount ai
n.Hei sa
quietbutint
imidati
ngindivi
dual.Heonl ytalkswhen
i
tisnecessary,li
kereall
ynecessar y.Butit’
sgood
havingthem aroundbecauseIf eelsafeinmy
house.It’
sbeensol ongsinceIhavehear df rom
AthibutIknowt hatheisstil
lcookingsomet hi
ngup.

Ihavebeentr
yingtocontactFut
hythewholeday
andherphonejustgoesstrai
ghttovoi
cemail
.
Whichiswei
rdbecauseshei salwaysonherphone
whensheisnotworki
ng.Rightnow,wear edri
ving
toherhouse.Wegetther
eandf i
ndXoli,
Thobeka,
Zamoh,MabuthoandKgomot sochat
tinginthe
l
ounge.Theyneverr
unoutoft hi
ngstosay.

Me:“
heyguys.Wher
eisFut
hy?
”
Xol
i:“
inherr
oom,
Ithi
nk.
”

Iheadt oherbedr oom whilemyguar dsjointhe

othersatt helounge.Igetthereandfindtheroom
supercl ean.IfrownwhenIseeherphone, lapt
op
andt abletonherbed.Ther earealsoenvelopes
there.Igocl oserandIseeonewi thmynameoni t.I
sigh.Itcanonl ymeanonet hi
ng,sheisgone.Itake
theletterandopeni t
.Isitdownont hebedandst art
readingi t
.

Tomydearf
ri
endLi
ndel
wa
Don’
tbesad.Thisisnotasuici
denot
e.Iam
comi
ngback.Ijustneedtoregr
oupandfindmysel
f.
Pleasedon’tbemadaboutthefactt
hatIdidn’
t
comet oyouf orhel
p.Li
veyourl
if
etothefull
est
.I
am kiddi
ng,li
veyourli
fewherei
namont hortwo?
Butlivenj
eTase.
Yourl
ovi
ngf
ri
end
Nt
ombi
fut
hi
PS:Mabuthohast
hehot
sforyou.Dosomet
hing
abouti
t.

Ichuckleshakingmyhead.Shehadt omakeaj oke

attheend.ItakemyphoneandsendNomaat ext
sayingsheshoul dgethereASAP.Af t
er30mi nutes
shebargesinther oom andlookaround.Shesi ghs
whenhereyesl andonFuthy’sgadgetsonthebed.

Noma:“sheisgoneright?
”Inodandhandherthe
l
ett
eraddressedtoher.Shesit
sdownnexttome
andreadsit
.Afteraf
ewmi nut
esshel
aughs.
Me:“
whatdi
dshesayt
oyou?
”
Noma:“
thatImustdumpKhanya.Hei
snotr
ightf
or
meandhedoesn’
tknowmywor
th.
”Ichuckl
e.

Me:“sheisri
ghtthough.Youguyshaven’
teven
dat
edf or3monthsbutalreadyheismakingyoucr
y.
Andtot hi
nkIapprovedofhim?”Ishakemyhead.
Shelaughs.
Noma:“
Iam goi
ngt
ofi
ndt
her
ightonef
orme.
”
Me:“
that
’st
hespi
ri
tbabes.
”
.
.
*
**KUHLE*
**
Ij
ustcamet otheoffi
cef orapprovingmyl at
estapp.
Iwastaskedbythisinternat
ionalrestaur
antto
creat
eanappf ort
hem, auniqueappt hatwil
l
outst
andsandeasilyaccessi bl
eandhasnoads.I
fi
nishever
ythi
ngandt hencal lmyPAt omyof f
ice.
Shegetsinsi
deandsi t
sont hechairopposit
eme.

Namhl
anj
e:“
youcal
ledf
ormeyourhi
ghness.
”I
stoppedtell
inghernott
ocal
lmebymyroyalt
it
lei
n
theworkplacebecauseshei
sst
ubbor
n.
Me:“Ineedyout oscheduleameet i
ngtothat
i
nter
nationalr
estaurantwhotaskedmet ocreat
ean
appforthem.Tellthem t
hatIam donewiththeapp
andIwantt opresentitt
othem.”shenods.

Namhl anje:“Iwi
lldosoyourmajesty.”Shestands
andheadst othedoorbuttur
nstolookatme.“ Your
majestythereisanemai lt
hatwassentt oyou
yester
daybuti twasscheduledt
obedel i
ver
ed
today.It
’sfrom acert
ainMissCele.It
’sonyour
personalemai l
.”
Me:“
thankyou.Iwi
llvi
ewi
tnow.
”
Namhl
anje:“
yourhi
ghness.
”Shebowsal
it
tl
eand
t
henheadsout.
Igotomyemail
sandfindtheemail
.It
’sfrom Futhy.
Thi
sisnew.Shehasneversentanemailbefore.

DearPr
inceKuhl
e
Iam notwel l
,mentall
y.Ihavemyowni ssues.I
havedeci dedt ogoanddealwi t
hthem
professionall
y.Iam goingtocomebackaf tertwo
mont hs.Thisisimpor t
antforme.Don’ tr
uinitby
trackingmedownbecauseIwi l
lhateyouforthe
restofmyl i
feforint
erfer
ingwi t
hmyment alheal
ing.
Keepwel landdoawaywi ththatsecondwi f
e
bullshit
.Don’tletgoofyouryear sofmar r
iagefora
womanyouhaveknownf oronlyamont h.
Your
sTr
uly
MaCel
e
PS:Ir
epeat
,don’
tlookf
orme.

Theemai lendsthereandIj ustsigh.I

t’
st r
uethat
thepeoplewhosmi l
eandl aught hemostar ethe
oneswhoar ehurt
ingthemost .Theyhidet heirpain
from t
hewor ldandjustshowahappyf acetot he
worldeveryday.Iknowt hatFuthy’sexbr okeher
heartbutIdidn’
tknowt hatthedamagewast his
deep.Iam reall
ynotgoingt ointerf
erewithher
heali
ng.Ijustwanttoseeher100%happy.
.
.
*
**NOMA*
**
Itaketheot herl
ett
ersfrom thebedandhead
downst ai
rswi t
hLeef ol
lowingme.Wegettothe
l
oungeandf i
ndtheseidiot
steasi
ngMabuthoabout
beingsingle.Ihandeachoft hem al
ett
er,
exceptf
or
Lee’sguards.

Thobeka:“ar
ethesevoucher
s?Ihavebeendyi
ngt
o
goshopping.”
Mabutho:“i
fonl
yyouaccept
edLel
e’
scour
tshi
p.”
Wealllaugh.
Thobeka:“
don’
tst
art
.”
Lee:“goonnow, openthel
ett
ers.
”Theyopenthe
l
etter
sandt hei
reyespopout.MabuthoandZamoh
rushtoFuthy’
sroom andtheycomebackmoment s
l
ater.
Mabutho:“
sheisreal
lygone.
”Hesi
ghssi
tt
ingdown
andZamohsitsnexttohim.
Lee:“
whatdoesyourl
ett
erssay?
”
Xoli:“
theycontai
nchequesofat hree-
mont hsal
ary.
Theyal sostat
ethatweshouldn’tl
eave,butwecan
visi
trelat
ivesandourpart
ners.Shedoesn’twantus
toleaveherhousealone.Sheevengaveus
permissionforourpar
tner
stovi si
tbutnotstay
l
ong. ”

K:“shewon’
tbeher
eformyweddi
ng.
”Shesaysi
n
alowtone.
Me:“
sheisgoi
ngt
ocome.Shewoul
dn’
tmi
ssi
tfor
t
heworl
d.”

Kgomotsoisgettingmarriedi
nthreeweeks.Futhy
hi
redaweddingpl annerforhersothatshedoesn’
t
wantKgomotsost ressi
ng.Mayibongwe,herf
iancé,
i
snotat r
adit
ionalman.Sot hat’
swhyt heyar
e
havi
ngtheweddi ngsoon.Theydon’thavetodoall
t
hosetradi
ti
onal
stepsZul
upeopl
edobef
oret
he
weddi
ng.

Lee:“
Nomai sright
.Futhywi
llcometoyour
wedding.Justdon’
tcrywhenshesteal
stheshow.
”
Theyalll
augh.
Me:“Iam hereforyouguys.Shoul
dyouneed
anyt
hing,don’
thesitat
e.Andwhenyouaregoi
ngt
o
cl
ubs,don’tl
eaveMe. ”theyl
aughagai
n.

Wechi llforaf ewhoursandt henIl eave.Igettomy

houseandf i
ndKhanyai nthekitchen.Isi ghandput
mybag, keysandphoneont heki tchencount er
.I
kickoffmyheel sandputont hesl eeperswhi char
e
alwaysatt heki t
chen.Ialwaysst arti
nt hekit
chen
whenIgett omyhouse, somymai dalwaysleave
them byt heent r
ance.Iopent hef r
idge,taki
ngout
bottl
edwat eranddrinki
ngit.

Khanya:“
wenol
ongergr
eetnow?
”heaskswi
tha
smil
e.Ijusti
gnor
ehim andconti
nuedri
nkingwater
.
“Westi
llmad?”Icl
osethebott
leandputitbacki
n
thef
ri
dge.
Me:“ t
hisismyhouse.Iboughti twithmyhar d
earnedcash.Af ewweeksagoyouhadt herightt
o
doasyouwanther ebutnotnow.Youhaveshowed
met hatyouar estil
lyoungandal i
tt
lei
mmat ur
e.
Youdon’ tdeservetobewi t
hme, youcan’thandle
me.Nowl eavemyhousekeysont hist
abl eandget
thefuckout .
”hel i
ckshisli
psandbitehi
sl owerli
p.

Khanya:“Iloveitwhenyougetalldominantwi
thme.
It
’safuckinturnon.Lookathowyoumakeme
feel
.”Hesaysgr abbi
nghisvisi
blehardonfrom hi
s
sweatpants.Gosh!Whydidyouhavet ogivemea
kidwhenIaskedf oraman?
Me:“you’r
ei nsane.
”Hej ustsmil
esandtakesoffhi
s
sweatpants.Hei snotevenwearingboxer
s.“You
arenotaboutt ohavesexwi thmeKhanya.You
haven’
tevenapol ogizedwell.
”
Khanya:“
thi
sismywayofapol ogizingmylady,
by
gi
vingyoumulti
pleorgasms.”Hecl osest
hespace
betweenusinaswiftmove,pinningmeont he
fr
idge.

Hishandst ravelupanddownmyaccessi bl
ethighs,
si
nceIam wear ingonlyazippersideboxypleated
skir
tandasol i
dr i
bbedcroptanktop,whilehe
plantssoftkissesonmyneck.Hei sweakeningme
andIhat ethatheknowsmyweakspotwhi chare
myt highs.Hecar ri
esme, pl
aci
ngmeont hekitchen
counter,heroughlyr emovesmyt hongand
smasheshar dinsideme.Igaspwel cominghimi n.
i
t’
sbeensol ongsi ncewehavef ucked.

Khanya:“Iam sorr
ybabe.Iam justastupi
didi
ot
whodoesn’ tknowagoodt hingwhenheseesone,
butIam youridiot
.”Befor
eIcanrespond,hest
art
s
movinghardandf ast.Yoh,i
t’
sli
keheisona
missi
ontor ipapartmypussy.
Me:“ j
ustsoyouknow,itwil
ltakemorethanjust
roughsextomakemef or
giveyou.”Isaypanti
ng
afterwebothreachourhappyending,wel
lhisfi
rst
andmyt hir
d.Hei sr
eal
lygoodatmaki ngawoman
cum.

Khanya:“Iknowbaby,
Iknow.”Hedoesn’tpul
lout
.
I
nsteadhecar r
iesmeofft
hecounterandheadsto
mybedr oom whil
ewearesti
l
ljoi
ned.
Me:“
don’
ttel
lmeyouhaven’
thadenough.
”
Khanya:“
thatwasonl
ythebegi
nni
ngl
ove.
”he
winks.

Oneofthet
hingsIl
oveabouthi
mi shi
ssexdr ive.
Yohthi
sguy’
ssexgamecanmakeyoul osemor al
s
someti
mes.Iknowweshouldhaveaserioustalk
butf
ornowletmejustenj
oybei
ngpleasured.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
03] :CHAPTER41

Igettotheretreatcenterandparkmycari nthe
pati
ents’parki
ngl ot
.Itakeoutmybagsandheadt o
therecepti
on.Ifindsomeonewi t
hbagstalki
ngto
therecepti
onistwhol ooksli
kehei ssi
gningout.
Theyfini
sht al
kingandheheadsout .Ist
epforward
andshesmi lesatmebef oreIcanevensay
anythi
ng.

Recepti
onist:“
welcomet oWomalenaResort
.My
nameisEl el
waniTemudzanibutyoucancallme
EleorLwani.WhatcanIhel pyouwit
h?Surel
yyou
arecheckingin.WhatisyournamesothatIcan
checkifyouar er
egist
eredhere?
”
Me:“
hel
lo.Mynamei
sNt
ombi
fut
hiCel
e.”
Elel
wani:“
owwMi ssCeleIcanseeyournameher e.
Wehavebeenwai ti
ngforyou.Ever
ythi
ngissethere.
Hereisyourkeycar
d.”Shehandsmeakeycar d.
“TENDA!”ayoungmanqui ckl
yappears.
Tenda:“
yesMi
ssTemudzani
.”Sher
oll
shereyes.
El
elwani
:“Ialwayst
ellhi
mtocal
lmeEl
elwanibut
heneverl
istens.
”

Me:“
Icanr
elat
e.”Webot
hlaugh.
El
elwani:“
TendaescortMissCel
etohersuitewhich
i
sont hesecondfl
oor.Whenyouaredoneset tl
ing
i
n,youneedtogot othesecondr
oom inthefirst
fl
oorwhereyouwillf
indsomeonewhowi llt
ellyou
moreaboutthispl
ace.”

Me:“
thankyou.”Tendatakesmybagsandl eads
metotheel
evator.Wegettomyr oom.Wowthis
r
oom i
sbeautif
ul.It
’sl
ikeahotelsuit
e.“
Wowt hi
sis
beauti
ful
.If
eell
ikeIam goi
ngt
oenj
oymyst
ay
here.
”
Tenda:“
thatyouwil
lMissCele.
”Heplacesmybags
ontopofthedoublebed.“
Ifyouneedanythi
ng
pl
easedon’thesi
tat
etoask.”

Me:“
thankyouTenda.DoIti
pyouf
orhel
pingme
wi
ththebags?
”hechuckles.
Tenda:“nomi
ss.Thi
sisnotahot
el.Seeyou
around.
”Heheadsout.
.
.
Igett
otheoffi
cewher
eElel
wani
sai
dImustgoto.I
fi
ndtwopeople.Amal
eandafemal
esi
tt
ingand
havi
ngpizza.

Me:“hell
o.Iam Fut
hyCel
eandIwast
oldt
ocome
her
e.”thewomansmi l
es.
Woman:“
youar
eSi
jabul
il
e’
sdaught
er?
”Ismi
leand
nod.“
Youl
ookj
ustl
i
keher
e,wel
landabi
tofyour
fat
her
.”
Me:“
howdoyouknowt
hem?
”

Woman:“ yourmotherwasonceapati
enthere.Your
f
athercamedemandi ngtoseeherandthr
eatening
t
obur nthispl
acedown.Thatmancanbecr azy.
”I
l
augh.
Me:“
yep.That
’sexact
lyhowhei
s.”

Woman:“bythewayIam Bono, founderand

di
rect
orofthisresortandt
hisi
sMaumel a,hei
sthe
managerofthisplace.”
Me:“
nicet
omeetyoubot
h.”

Maumel a:“
thi
splacei
sforfi
ndingyoursel
f,
connect
ingwi t
hyouri
nnerself
.Basical
lyf
oryour
mentalhealt
h.Youhavedonewel l
bycomi nghere.
Itmeansyouacknowledgethatyouhaveapr obl
em
andyouar ecount
ingonustohelpyougetwel l
.”
Bono:“ peopl
et endt ocomeintotherapywhent hey
areexper i
encingsomedi f
fi
cult
ycopi ngorr esol vi
ng
anissueont heirown.Usual ly,
theywi llseek
therapybecauset heyareexperi
encingdepr ession,
anxiety,r
elat
ionalpr obl
emsoranot heri ssuet hatis
causingsomedi stress.
”Awomanbar gesi nthe
offi
ce.Shei swear ingcasualcl
othes.Shei s
carryi
ngat ablet, phoneandasetofkeys.

Woman2:“ Iam sorr

yf orbeingl at
e.Mysessi on
tooklongerthanantici
pat ed.”Shetakesaseatnext
tome.Shepl acesthet hingsshei scarryingi
nthe
tableandturnstolookatmewi thasmi leonher
face.“Hey,Iam DoctorDakal oMahuwa.Feelf r
eeto
callmeDakal o.Iam goingt obeyourt herapi
st
duringyourstayinthisresor t.
”Sheextendsher
handf oeashakeandIshakei t.

Me:“Iam Fut
hyCele.Pl
easecal
lmeFut
hynotMi
ss
Cel
e.”Shesmiles.
Dakalo:“
asyouwish.Ourfi
rstsessi
onist
omorrow
at12:
00pm.Myof fi
ceistwodoor sawayf
rom t
his
one.Don’tbel
ate.
”
Me:“
Iam abusinessper
sonsoIknowhowt i
meis
i
mportantandbei
nglat
ecancausetheper
sonyou
ar
emeet i
ngwithtobegrumpy.
”

Dakal
o:“
Ithi
nkIam goi
ngt
oli
keyou.
”
Maumela:“
Ial
readyl
ikeher
.”Weal
llaugh.Dakal
o
st
andsupandtakeherstuf
f.

Dakal
o:“Icametoint
roducemyselft
oyou.Wewill
meettomorrow.Seeyoutomor
rowguys.”Shesays
t
otheothersandthenheadsout.

Bono:“youwil
lfi
ndAl ubythedoorofyoursuite
wait
ingforyounow.Shewi llt
ellyouever
ythi
ngyou
needtoknowaboutt hispl
aceandwhati sexpected
ofyou.Wehopebyt heendofyourst ayhere,you
wouldhaveachievedwhatyoucameherf or.
”
Me:“
Ihopesot
oo.
”
.
.
Ifi
ndanol derversionofNomxol isiwai
tingf
orme
atmydoor .Sheiscar ryi
nganot epadandani Pad.
Shei sweari
ngreadi ngglasses.Shelooksli
kea
nerdthough.Shei sdressedlikethoselawstudents
weseeonmovi es,thosewhogot oYaleorHar var
d.
Shest opswhatshei sdoingwhensheseesmeand
smiles.

Alu:“
youmustbeMi ssCel
e.Iam Al
u,coor
dinator
ofthi
spl ace.Ihavecometotakeyouforyourtour
andtellyoueverythi
ngyouneedtoknowaboutt hi
s
pl
ace.”
Me:“
pleasecal
lmeFut
hy.
”

Alu:“
okayFuthy.Areyousetf
orat
ouroryouneed
somethi
ngfrom yourroom?”
Me:“
letmej
ustchangei
ntof
li
pfl
ops.
”Ir
usht
omy
room,changet
ofl
ipf
lopsandgobackt
oher
.“Iam
ready.
”Wegodownthehall
wayandhopont
othe
elevat
or.

Alu:“Iam takingyouout side.Womal enaResor t

wasbui l
tin1970.Ithasbeenr enovat edal otthese
pastfewyear s.Iti
sf orpeoplewhohavedepr ession,
sufferfrom anxiet
y,PTSD, abuse,basi cal
lyahome
forpeopl ewhoar ewi l
li
ngt ocl
aim backt heir
ment alhealt
h.Bonoi snott heactualfounderbut
hergr andmotheristhef ounder.Shet ookoverf rom
her.
”
Me:“
it
’sl
ikeal
egacy.
”

Alu:“yesbutBonohadt hesamevi sionasher

grandmot her.Itwasn’tjustaninherit
ancetoherbut
shehadt hesamemi ndsetashergr andma.”Weget
outsi
de.“ Thereareact i
viti
esthatareavail
abl
e.You
needt oatleastbeinvol vedinami nimum oftwo
sportsdur i
ngyourst ayher e.I
t’
syourwayof
enter
t ai
nment .Wehavesoccer ,netbal
l,
swimming,
basketbal
l,chess,tenni
s,golf
ingandcricket.You
canalsojoinachoi r.Wehaveconcer t
sever ymonth
endwher ethechoi randothertal
ent
edpat ients
enter
taineachot herandusast hestaff
.”

Me:“that
’ssocool
.”Shesmiles.Sheistalki
ng
aboutthesport
swhileshowingmecour ts,grounds
androomswher ethesespor
tsareplayedat .This
pl
acei sr
eall
yhuge,li
keFancourtHotel
.
Alu:“wealsohaveanartr
oom.Ar
tisal
soanother
form oft
herapysoyoucandrawt
herewhat
ever
youfeell
ikedrawing.
”

Me:“Iam anar
chi
tect
,am Ial
lowedt
odr
awmy
sket
ches?”
Al
u:“
youar
emor
ethanwel
comedear
.”
Me:“
that
’smusi
ctomyear
s.”Ismi
le.

Alu:“
yougetafr
eedaybet
weenFri
dayand
Satur
dayever
yweekwhereyoucangoout
,maybe
dosomeshoppingorcl ubbi
ng,dependingonwhat
youwannado.Thi sfr
eedayshowst hatt
hisisnota
pri
son,r
atheraresort
.Ifyouwant,youcanhave
vi
sit
orsbutonceaweek.Her eisabr acel
et.
”She
handsmeabr aceletwhichbut
tons.“Youare
expect
edtokeepitonyoudur i
ngyourst ayhere.
”
Me:“
isi
tahi
-t
echdevi
ce?
”shel
aughs.

Alu:“ki
ndof .Wehavepatientsget
ti
nganxiet
yand
panicattacksmostofthet i
me.Sowhenasi tuat
ion
l
ikethathappens, youpr
essanyoft hosebut
tons
thereandast affmemberwi l
lbeatyourdoorinl
ess
thantwomi nut
es.
”
Me:“
that
’sf
ast
.”

Alu:“wedon’thavetimetochil
l.Weknowourjob
descript
ion.Duri
ngourshift
sweknowt hatwemust
al
waysber eadyforanyt
hing.Manythi
ngshappen
aroundher e.
”
Me:“
areweal
lowedt
oint
eractwi
thot
herpat
ient
s?”
Alu:“Futhyt hi
sisn’tpr
ison.Youar eall
owedt o
makef riendswi thanyofthepat i
ents.Youmayf i
nd
thatshar i
ngpr oblemsamongyour sel
vesisaf orm
ofhealing.Youar eal
sogoingt ohavegr oup
therapyt wiceaweekwi t
hpatientswhoar efacing
thesamei ssuesasyour s.”
Me:“
thatsoundsni
ce.
”

Alu:“oneoft
hebestfeaturesaboutthi
splaceisthe
food.Yougettoorderanytypeoffoodyoul i
ke.You
canevengot othekit
chent ocookforyour
selfif
youfeelli
ket
heyar efai
li
ngyou.”Il
augh.
Me:“
not
ed.
”Shesmi
les.

Alu:“Iam hopi
ngyouenjoyyourst
ayhereandwe
helpyouwi t
hwhateverprobl
emsandissuesyou
arefacing.
”
Me:“
Ihopesot
oo.
”
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
03] :CHAPTER42

It
’salready11: 55andt heti
mef ormyf irsttherapy
sessioni snearing.Il
ookatmyr efl
ecti
oni nthe
mirroronemor etimeandt henheadout .Vendai s
veryhotsoIam wear ingbluepol kadotf r
il
ltri
m
Camit opandspl i
them skirtsetwithbrownFendi
fl
atsandal s.Ilockmysui teandheadt oDakal o’s
offi
ce.Igeti nsideandf i
ndherwr it
ingsomet hingon
hernot epad.

Me:“gooddaydoct
or.
”Isaysi
tt
ingdownont
he
couchavai
labl
e.
Dakal
o:“gooddayFuthy.
”Herof fi
ceisvery
beaut
if
ul.Youcanseethatthepersonwhodi dthe
desi
gninghereknowsthei
rjob.Itwasn’tj
ustoneof
thest
affmember smi
xingthingstheythoughtfi
tt
ed.

Me:“youhaveaver
ybeaut
if
ulof
fi
ce.Whodesi
gned
i
t?”
Dakal
o:“
ani
nter
iordesi
gnerf
rom Pol
okwane.
”

Me:“ i
tisver
ybeaut if
ulandwelcoming,andal
soa
bitint
imidat
ing.Il
ovehowshepl ayedwi t
hthe
colours.I
ssheani ndependentdesi
gner?”she
smi l
esatmeandpl acesdownanot epad.
Dakalo:“
Shei
saf r
eelancer
.Shefeel
sli
keifshe
weretobeemployed,shewouldbeunderpai
dand
l
esspeoplewouldnotunderst
andthewayshe
works.”

Me:“
I’
dlovet
omeether.Iam openinganot
her
br
anchofDCCinJohannesbur
gr oundaboutMay
orJunenextyear
.I’
dlovet
ohaveherworkf
orme
anddotel
lherthatIwon’
tunder
payher
.”
Dakal
o:“Iam sur
eshewouldbedel
ight
edt
ohear
t
hat.Sheismydaughterbyt
heway.”

Me:“
wellmostprai
sesgot
oyouforbr
ingi
ngsuch
anamazingt
alentt
othewor
ld.
”
Dakal
o:“
thankyousomuch.”Shest
andsupand
comestositont
hechai
ropposit
emewitha
not
epadandpenonherhand.“Shal
lwest
art
?”I
l
augh.

Me:“
ofcour
se,
Ijustgotdi
str
act
edbyt
his.
”
Dakal
o:“understandabl
e.Sot
ellme,
whoi
s
Ntombif
uthiCele?”
.
.
Af
termyt her
apysessi
onIheadbacktomyr oom
whereIchangetoasunfl
owerpr
intcamishort
biki
niswimsuit.Iputayel
lowki monoont opand
blackfl
ipfl
ops.Thesuni stoohotsoIputonahat
andsunglasses.Iheadtothepool .Iplacet
he
kimono,hat,f
lopsandsungl assesonapoolchai r
andjumpi nsi
det hepool
.Idoaf ewlapsandt hen
takeabreak.Whi l
esit
ti
ngandsi ppingonwat er,
someguysi tsnexttome.

Guy:“hell
obluehair
.Youreal
lydyedyourhairblue.
Ithoughtitwasaweave.”Heisweari
ngbeach
shortsandanecklace.Hehasdyedhishairpink.
Me:“
hel
lopi
nkhai
r.
”Hel
aughs.

Guy:“youalsohaveweir
deyes.Idon’
tknow
whethertocallyoubl
uehai
rorweirdeyes.
”
Me:“Ipr
eferyoucal
li
ngmebymynamewhi
chi
s
Fut
hy.”Heshakeshishead.

Guy:“
nah,I
mmaset t
leforBl
ue,yeahBlue.Ni
ce
ni
ckname.Iam Dani
elbythewaybutifyouwanna
beonmygoodbooksyoucancal
lmeDanny.
”I
havef
igur
edt
hathei
sgay.
Me:“
nicet
omeetyouDanny.
”

Danny:“
bythewayyouhavemadswi
mmi
ngski
ll
s
andanicebodybabe.
”
Me:“i
fyouhaveapooli
nyourbackyar
d,yougotta
pol
ishyourswi
mmingskil
lsever
ynowandt hen.
”

Danny:“It
hinkwear egoi
ngt
obegr eatf
ri
ends.
Mostpeopl edon’
tli
kemebecauseofmy
‘
personali
ty’
.”Hesaysusi
ngairquot
es.Il
augh.
Me:“wel
lIhaveafr
iendwhichhasapersonal
it
yli
ke
your
sandIlovehi
m verymuchbecauseheisvery
openandfuntobewith.Anywayshowl
onghave
youbeenhere?
”

Danny:“
about3weeks.Thi
spl
acei
ssocoolbuti
t
canbebori
ngwhenyouhavenofri
endst
ogoout
wit
h.”
Me:“
ther
ear
eni
ghtcl
ubsi
nThohoyandou?
”

Danny:“ Idon’
tknow, butIhavebeentoPolokwane
anddamnt hattowni ssoali
ve.Weshouldgot her
e
thi
sFriday.Ther earegoingtobemanyartist
swho
aregoingt obeper f
ormingatthi
sclubcal
led
Indust
rialShisanyama.”
Me:“
countmei
n.”

Danny:“
yes.
”Wehi
-f
ive.
Me:“
youswi
m?”

Danny:“
owwnol ovebutIcomeher etoj ustl
ookat
thefi
ne,
sexybrothers.Youknowt hereisnothing
wrongwithl
ooking.”Helickshisl
ipsstaringatthe
guywhoisswimmi ng.Ij
ustlaughshakingmyhead.
Ithi
nkIam goi
ngt olikei
thereevenmor enow.
.
.
Therearesomeact i
viti
esthatAluforgottomenti
on.
Likeyogaandmedi tati
onclasses.I
t’
sFr i
dayandI
am atamor ni
ngmedi tati
onclass.I
t’soutsi
deby
theriver
.Thei
nstructorhasinstr
uctedusonwhat
todo.Dannyisalsoat t
endingit
.Hei ssuchabreath
offreshair
.Oursuit
esar eonthesamef l
oor.

Inst
ructor
:“nowshuteveryothervoiceorsoundi
n
yourmindandj ustconcent
rat
et othesoundsof
nature,
theflowi
ngr i
ver
,thebir
dschi r
ping.
”

Ikeepquietandjustshutallt
hethoughtsIhavei n
mymi nd.Igivethenaturemyundividedattenti
on
whilemyeyesar eshut.Thisi
sactuall
yr el
axing.
Onemayevenendupf all
ingasl
eep.After30
minutestheclasscomest oanendandwegoback
tothegym room toputbackthemat sweused.

Ihaveaf r
eedaytomor r
owbutmyf r
eeti
mest ar
t
tonight
.Iam exci
tedaboutgoi
ngout.Wewil
lbe
usingmycarbecauseDannywasbr oughther
eby
hissister
.Heisanendocr i
nologi
st.Hedidtel
lme
aboutwhatt ypeofadoctoristhatbutIhavetotal
ly
forgot.ImeanIcan’tevenpronouncethewordwel l
wi t
houtlooki
ngatit
.Hel i
vesinMossel Bay.I
freshenupandt henheadtomyt her
apysession.

Dakal
o:“
sotel
lmeaboutyourr
elat
ionshi
pwi
thyour
exSabel
o.”
Me:“wemeti nJHBCent ralduri
ngmysecondyear
i
nvarsity.Iwashavi ngl
unchwi thmyf r
iendswhen
thi
sguyj ustcamet oourtableandaskedt ospeak
tome.Ij ustsmi ledandtoldhimtogosuckadi ck.
Heleftourt ableandcamebackaf ter10minutes.
Hewasl i
ke‘ Ihavesuckedadi ck,nowcanItalkto
you?’
”Dakal ol aughs.

Dakal
o:“
suchachar
act
er.
”
Me:“Igavehi
m achanceandfrom thenwest ar
ted
dat
ing.Il
ovedmyschoolworkandIst udiedmost
oftheti
me.Heunderst
oodthatandonl yaskedto
seemeeverySatur
day.Westartedspendingmor e
ti
medur i
ngholi
daysbecauseIwoul dshadow
Hlongwa,soI’
dstayatJohannesburgandonlygo
homeinweekendsoront hanksgi
vingor
Chri
stmas.”

Dakal
o:“
howwasheasaper
son?
”
Me:“hewasoverprot
ecti
ve,dominantandstr
ictbut
Il
ovedhim soIsawthatascute.Theonlythi
ngt hat
wefoughtaboutfr
om ti
met oti
mewashi s
wanderi
ngeye.Buthedidloveme, orsoIt
hought .
Unti
lthedayhechosehisinher
it
anceoverour
l
ove.”

Dakal
o:“
howdi
dthatmakeyouf
eel
?”
Me:“Ilovedhim somuch.Ihadbeeni n
rel
ati
onshipsbef orebutwi t
hhi mitwasmagical.I
t
camenat ural
ly.Ijustlovedhim becausehewas
real
,tr
uet owhathei sandheal waysshowedme
l
ovenotj ustbysayi ngIloveyouf rom t
imetoti
me.
Whenwebr okeup, Iwasshat tered.It
hought
maybehewoul dcomebackt obegmet obeinhis
l
ifebuthedidn’
t.Tomaket hingsworse,Igotto
l
earnabouthismar r
iagefrom themedia.Itwas
verypai
nful
.”Iwipethetearsthatar
efalli
ng.Dakal
o
passestheboxoftissues.Ithankherandextracta
ti
ssue.

Dakal
o:“
woul
dyoul
iket
ocont
inue?
”Inod.
Me:“itwashar dpi cki
nguppi ecesaf
terhim.
ActuallyIdidn’
tpickthem up.Ijustt
ookaclothand
coveredever yt
hing.Icar
riedonl i
kenothi
ng
happenedandj ustshutdownanyguywhowas
i
nterestedi nme.Ihaveact uall
ybeenhaving
meani nglesssexforyears.”

Dakalo:“
havethereeverbeenaguywhom youhave
l
edon?Li kehadsexwi t
haguywhowasact ual
ly
l
ookingforarelat
ionshi
pwithyou?
”
Me:“ i
thappensalltheti
mebutt omydefenseI
neverleadsomeoneon.Ij ustl
ayoutmycar dson
thetablesear
ly.Therearesomet houghwhohave
takenmynost r
ingsatt
achedtomaybepl ayi
nghard
toget .Therewast hisoneguywhowasl i
ter
all
y
obsessedwi thme.WehadsexwhenIwasst il
l
stayingi nJHB.Hei nterpr
et edoursexual
relati
onshipasar eal one.Iwasshockedwhenhe
i
nt roducedmet ohi sfamily, gotj
eal
ouswhenhe
sawmehavi ngdi
nnerbusi nessdateswit
hmal e
cli
ent s.Thingswerebad. ”

Dakal
o:“
howdi
dyoudealwi
tht
hat
?”
Me:“IhadacolleaguewhoIaskedtoposeasmy
husband.Thatchasedhi
m away.”Shecl
osesher
notepad.

Dakalo:“fr
om whatIhavepi ckedupon, youhaven’t
healedfrom whatyourexdi dt oyou.Theysayt ime
healsallwoundsbutwoundst hatcanbeheal edar
e
theonest hathavebeent reated.Yourwoundwas
nevertreated.Itcaughtinfections.Younever
all
owedyour selft
oheal .Iam actuallysur
prised
thatyoudi dn’tgoafteryourex’ swifebecausethat
’s
whataper sonwhohasn’ thealedlikeyou,deals
wit
hbreak-
ups.Oursessi
onhavecometoanend.
Atl
eastnowIknowwhatwear edeal
ingwi
th.We
wil
lseeeachotheronMonday.
”Ist
andup.
Me:“t
hanksdoct
or.Haveagr
eatweekend.
”Ihead
out
.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
03] :CHAPTER43

It’
smyt hi
rdweekinWomal ena.Ihavebeen
enjoyingmysessionwit
hDakalo.Shehasmademe
reali
zethatIhavebeenhur
tingsomeoft heguys
thatIhavesleptwit
h.WhenIgetbacktoDur banI
am goingtowrit
eemai l
sfort
hem, apol
ogi
zing.Iam
al
sogoi ngtoapologi
zetoMveloforwhatwent
downbet weenthetwoofus.WhatIknowi sthatI
am nevergoingtohaveaonenightstandagain
becausesomebr ingdrama.

Myst ayherehavebeensomuchf un.Ihavemade

somanyf r
iendsfrom thebasket
ballt
eam and
othersthatIswim withbutDannyismynumberone
gir
l.Healwayscomewi t
hmet osomespor ts.He
actuall
ylovesnetballandchesssoIalsogowi th
him buttojustwatch.

Heaskedt oaccompanymet oK’swedding.Hesai

d
hewant stomeetmyf amil
y.Wef oundadesigneri
n
Makhadowhodesi gnedmat chi
ngout f
it
sforus.Our
outfi
tsaresobeauti
ful
,wecan’twaittoshowcase
them.Weaskedf orafreeweekendf r
om Bonoand
sinceit
’sanoccasi
on,shegranteditbutsai
dImust
bebackbySundayeveni ng.
Iam actuall
ysadbecausethisi
ssupposedt obe
Danny’slastweekbuthesaidhei sgoingtostay
anotherweek.MaybeImi ghtbegoinghomeear li
er
thanexpectedbecauseDakaloishappywi thmy
progress.Ihaveal
soatt
endedgr ouptherapyand
that’
swhenIf oundoutwhatreall
ybroughtDanny
here.

Appar entl
yhewasi nlovewi ththisprincefrom his
vi
llage.Theywentt ovar si
tyt ogether
.Thepr i
nce
alsolovedhim.Theydat edfor3year s.Whent hey
wentbackhomeaf t
erf i
nishingt hei
rdegr ees,t
hey
discoveredthattheprincewasar r
angedt omar r
y
somewomanf rom hisvill
age.Thepr incecouldn’t
event akeDannyashi ssecondspousebecausei t
wasashameandt heywoul d’vekill
edbot hoft hem
becausesamesexr elationshi psareforbiddent her
e.

Theprincemarri
edthi
swomanbuthewasn’ ti
n
l
ovewi thher
.Theyconti
nuedthei
rrel
ati
onshipin
secr
et.Theywenttovacati
onsoutsi
dethecountry.
Thekingfoundoutaboutt
heirrel
ati
onshipandhe
chasedDanny’sf
amilyawayfrom thevill
age.He
al
sosenthisgoonstokil
lDannybutl ucki
lyhe
survi
vedandtookcareofhi
sf amil
y.

Henevermadecont actwiththepri
nceagai nbuthe
sawhi m mont hslat
eratar estaur
ant.Dannywas
chil
li
ngwi t
hhi scoll
eagueswhent heprincegotin
withhiswife.Dannyj ustrushedoutafterseei
ng
them.Thepr incefoll
owedhi m butbeforehecould
alt
erasinglewor d,hiswifecaughtupwi t
hhim.
Theynevert alkeduntilt
hisday.

Wear enowatt hePolokwaneairportwherewear e

goingtocat chourfli
ghttoDurban.It’
sFriday
midday.Wef et
chedouroutfi
tsear l
ieron.Anyways
weboar dt heplaneandthentheplanet akesoff
.
Aft
ersi xhoursofflyi
ng,welandatKi ngShaka
ai
rport.Wechecki natTheOyst erBoxHot el
becauset hat’
swher etheweddingisgoingt obeat.
Iam notall
owedt ogohomeori nteractwi
thmy
l
ovedones.Iwi llonlyseet hem t
omor rowatthe
wedding.Iam notevenal lowedt otouchmy
gadgets.Wear eshar i
ngasui tewithDannybut
ther
ear et
wor oomst her
esowear enotaboutt
o
seeeachot her’
snakedness.Weset t
ledownand
whenwear edoneIt akeashower .Idrymybody
andwr apat owelaroundit.Igotomyr oom and
fi
ndDannyonmybed.

Danny:“
Bluewear
esogoi
ngoutt
oni
ght
.”
Me:“
towher
e?Youdon’
tevenknowpl
acesher
e.”

Danny:“bit
chplease.Iknowt hi
ngsandpeopl
e.I
metacel ebdownt hecorri
dor.Hehasagigatthi
s
cl
ub,Iforgoti
tsnamebutwear eheadedther
e.So
getr
eady, weareleavi
ngwi thhiminanhour.
”
Me:“
youar
esuchavi
be.
”

Danny:“
damnr
ightIam.
”Heheadsout
.Il
oti
onmy
bodyanddomymake-up.Af
tert
hatIst
ylemy‘
Blue’
hai
rasDannycal
lsi
t.

Igetdressedinamar oonself
-ti
ebandanatop,sl
ant
pocketbuttonfr
ontdenim ski
rtandmaroonBathu
MojaEdi t
ionSneaker
s.Ithenpairi
twithmaroon
wri
stwat chanddenim sl
ingbag.Iputmywal l
etin
i
tandt hengoknockatDanny’ sdoor.

Me:“
Iam done.
”
Danny:“
Iam withyounowBl ue.Iam t
aki
ngmy
bag.
”Fewmi nutesl
aterhecomesoutwear i
nga
bl
ackteewit
ht i
ghtblackandwhiteshort
sand
whit
esneakers.Heiscarryi
ngawhitesli
ngbagand
hi
smake-upisonpoi nt.

Me:“Iam j
eal
oust
hatyoudomake-
upbet
tert
han
me.”
Danny:“
butyou’
reokaybecauseyouknowhowt
o
doyourbrows.
”
Me:“
tryi
ngt
omakemef
eel
bet
terIsee.
”Hel
aughs.

Danny:“let’
sgo.”Weheadoutandfindt
hisrapper
Afr
ikaint hehall
waywi t
hhiscr
ew.Heisfr
om Cape
Townbuthehasbeenst ayi
ngi
nJHBwher ehis
car
eerflourished.“
Afee.
”Hegoestohughim.

Afri
ka:“
Danny.
”Theybot
hhug.“
Thi
smustbeyour
fr
iend.
”
Danny:“
Blue.
”Theybot
htur
ntost
areatme.

Af
ri
ka:“
aren’
tyouLel
e’
ssi
ster
?”Ishr
ug.
Me:“
maybe,
maybenot
.”Hesmi
les.
Af
ri
ka:“
Ili
keyoual
ready.Let
’sgo.
”Weal
lheadout
.
.
.
Wegett ot
hiscl
ubcall
edAll
oy.I
t’
sownedby
ThandekaandLuvuyoSit
hol
e.Theyar
etheset
wo
si
bli
ngs,or
igi
nallyfrom Nor
thernCapebutar enow
basedinSandton.Theyhavecl ubsandr est
aur
ants
al
loverSouthAf r
icaandtheirplacesareamazing
andoutofthi
swor l
d.Noteveryonegetsinther
e.
Youdon’tf
indvar si
tyst
udentsorhi ghschool
l
earner
s.Theonl ypeoplewhogot her
ear ewor
king
peopl
eandbl essees.

Thereist
hishugeli
neoutsideandtheladiesare
l
ookingasbeauti
fulandcl
assyasever .Theguys
arealsol
ooki
nghandsome.Thehost essl eadsust
o
theVVIPsect
ionandwesi tdown.Awai tercomes
ourway,sheissmili
ngfr
om eartoear.

Wai
ter
:“whatwoul
dyoul
iket
oor
der
?”
Af
ri
ka:“
whatar
eyouguysdr
inki
ng?
”
Danny:“
abot
tl
eofTanquer
ayandmi
xer
s.”
Af
ri
ka:“getust
hatandtwobottl
esofHennessy
wi
thmixersandthr
eebott
lesofMoet.
”
Oneoft
hedancer
s:“
alsogetushubbl
y.”
Oneoft
heguys:“
getust
hreemeatpl
att
ers.
”

Wai
ter
:“wi
llt
hatbeal
l?
”
Af
ri
ka:“
yes.
”
Wai
ter:“
okay.Yourdr
inksar
egoingtobeherein
l
essthan10mi nut
esandyourfoodwil
lbeherein
l
essthan30mi nut
es.
”Sheleaves.
.
.
Wehaveeat enandnowwear et
ipsy.TheMCcalls
Afr
ikat othestageandhel eaveswithhisdancer
s
andst agemanager .Hisothermanagerstays
behind.Shehar dl
ytalks.Shehasbeenonher
phoneeversi ncewegother e.

Danny:“
Iam get
ti
ngsomet
oni
ght
.”Hewhi
sper
sin
myear.
Me:“
from who?
”
Danny:“
Afee!
”hewhi
sper
sloudl
y.
Me:“
forr
eal
?”
Danny:“
yeahBl
ue.
”
Me:“whenl
astdidyougetl
aid?Sur
elyyouhaven’
t
shavedi
nawhile.
”Helaughs.

Danny:“
okusal
ayoIam get
ti
ngsomet
oni
ght
.”I
l
augh.
Me:“
luckyyouboo.
”
Danny:“
yeahl
uckyme.
”hesmi
rks.

Afri
katakesthestage.Theguysur eknowshowt o
rapanddance.Hei sflexiblel
iket
hoseguysfrom
thestepupmovi es.Thecr owdistoomuch.They
l
ovet hi
sguy.Hesur el
yi stheSouthAfr
icanChri
s
Brown.Diff
erenceisthather apsandChrissi
ngs.

Me:“
hei
sreal
lygoodandhei
sagr
eatdancer
.”
Manager:“t
othi
nkheactuall
ywant st
ostop
danci
ng.”It
urntoher
.OkayIam notgoingto
quest
ionwhyshehasn’tbeental
king.

Me:“
why?
”
Manager :“
hesust
ainedt
hismeani njuryl
astweek.
Actuall
yhehasbeensustaini
nginjuri
esforqui
te
somet i
menow.Hi sbodyisahighr i
sk.His
physici
ansaidhemuststopdancing.”

Me:“
ifadoctorsayshemustst
opt
henheshoul
d
st
opandleavethedanci
ngtohi
sdancer
s.”
Manager
:“youshoul
dencour
agehi
m.”Ismi
le.

Thenightproceedswel landatabout3am wehead

backtothehotel.WellItakeashowerandgot obed.
Ihearmoansandgr oans.Dannyreall
yisget
ti
ng
l
aidtoni
ght.IfIwasst i
lltheol
dFuthy,I
’dberi
dinga
str
anger’
sdickrightnow.Dakalothankyou.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
04] :CHAPTER44

Thefol
lowingmorni
ngIwakeupr oundabout9am.
Theweddingstar
tsat12pm soIam gladIsti
llhave
ti
me.Iwearmygownandgot oDanny’ sdoor
.I
bargei
nandf i
ndhim al
lcuddledupwithAfri
ka.
Theyseem awakeandchatti
ng.

Danny:“
knocknextt
ime.
”
Me:“whatever
.Iwannaremi
ndyouaboutt
he
wedding.Weshouldn’
tbel
ate.
”
Danny:“Iam havi
ngabreakf
astdatewit
hAf eeat
hi
ssuite.Aft
erthatt
henIwil
lbeallyour
s.”
Me:“
don’
ttakel
ong.
”

Danny:“comeonbabe.Iwantust ohavethat
dramati
cent r
ancewhenthepastorsays‘
anyone
whodoesn’twantthesetwotobejoinedi
nholy
matri
mony, speaknoworfor
everholdyourpeace’
.
That’
swhenwewi l
lent
erandmakeourwayt othe
fr
ontrow.”BothAfri
kaandIl
augh.
Af
ri
ka:“
babet
hatwi
llpr
obabl
yangert
hebr
ide.
”

Danny:“
whocar
es?
”Ij
ustl
aughshaki
ngmyhead.
Me:“don’tbelat
e.”Iheadbacktomyr oom.If
ind
thebedalreadymadeandt hehousekeeper
vacuumingt hef
loor.“
Morning.
”

Her
:“Mor
ningma’
am.Iwi
llbedoneher
einaf
ew.
”
Me:“
takeyourt
ime.Iam j
ustgoi
ngt
oshower
.”
.
.
Istyl
emyhai rfi
rst,
maki ngitcurl
y.Ithendomy
make-up.WhenIam done, Igetdressedinmy
Tshwananavypepl um boobt ubetopandwhi te
mer maidskirt
.Ipairitwithnavyblockheel sand
navyMi chaelKor spurse.Iputmywal l
etinthe
purse.Idon’tevenknowwhyIhavei t.I
t’sahabitI
guess.Af ewmi nuteslaterDannyget sinlooking
veryhandsome.Hei swear inganavyTshwanashi r
t
andwhi tepantswi t
hnavypoi nttoelace-upfront
dressshoes.

Me:“peopl
ear
egoingt
ojumpi
ntoconcl
usi
on
t
oday.”Hesmi
les.
Danny:“
lett
hem.
”hedyedhi
shai
rbl
uebl
ack.

Me:“
youl
ookver
yhandsomef
ri
end.
”
Danny:“
youl
ookbeaut
if
ulBl
ue.
”
Me:“
let
’sgo.
”Wewearourshadesandweheadout
.
.
.
Pastor
:“DoyouMal ibongweNcubetakeKgomotso
Mabasot obeyourlawf ul
lyweddedwif
e,in
si
cknessandi nhealth,
forbett
erorf
orworse,
for
ri
cherorforpoor,
til
ldeathdoyoupart?”
Mal
i:“
Ido.
”

Pastor
:“DoyouKgomot soMabasot ake
Mali
bongweNcubet obeyourl awful
lywedded
husband,i
nsicknessandinhealth,f
orbet
terorf
or
worse,f
orri
cherorforpoor,
til
ldeathdoyoupart
?”
K:“
Ido.
”

Pastor:“
ift
hereisanyonewhohaver easonsto
bel
ievethatthi
sbeautifulcoupl
eshoul
dn’tbejoi
ned
i
nhol ymatri
mony, speaknoworf or
everholdyour
peace.”
Actual
lyDannystoppedmef rom makingmywayi n.
hesaidhewaswai tingforthi
sexactmoment .Yoh
heismoredramat i
ct hanLindsay.Anywayswe
makeourwayi nandal lheadst ur
ntoourway.Ifi
x
myeyesonKandt ear sst
ream downhercheeks
whensheseesme.Shemout hsan‘Il
oveyou’
.I
smileandwhisperitback.Wemakeourwayt othe
fr
ontandsitonthevacantchai rs.

Past
or:“
whatashowst
oppi
ngmoment
!”ever
yone
l
aughs.

Thepastorconti
nueswiththecer
emonyandi
t
fi
nall
ycomest oanend.Thecouplegot
otake
pi
ctureswhil
emyf ri
endsrushtomeandbombar
d
mewi thhugs.ThobekaandMabuthoal
socomet
o
hugme.

Lee:“
youbackf
orgood?
”
Me:“
nobutImi
ghtbecomi
ngbacksoonert
han
expect
ed.
”
Zah:“youhavetobecauset
her
ei sthi
scer
tai
nclient
whowant stomeetwithyoudi
rectl
yandnotanyone
el
se.”Ichuckl
e.

Me:“
rel
ax.
”Dannynudgesmeont
heel
bow.
Danny:“Bluearen’
tyougoi
ngt
oint
roduceme?
”
Nomar aiseshereyebr
ows.
Noma:“
Blue?
”

Danny:“hidar
li
ng,thenameisDanielbuti
fyou
wannabeonmygoodbooksyoucancal lmeDanny.
Iam Blue’
sfri
end.WellIam t
heonlyonewhocal l
herbluebecauseofherhair
.Itwaseit
herthator
weir
deyesbutIf i
guredweir
deyeswoul dbetoo
off
ensive.
”HeextendshishandtoNomaandshe
shakesit.

Me:“
guyst
hisi
sDannymyfr
iendf
rom wher
eI
camefr
om.
”Theyl
augh.“
AndDannythi
sisNoma
andLee,mybestf
ri
ends;Xol
iandZah, myPAs;
MbusoandPhumudzo,thei
rpart
ners;Mabut
ho,
ThobekaandZamoh,mybodyguards.”

Danny:“
youhavepersonalbodyguar
ds?Damnyou
mustbeMichel
leObamaorsomet hi
ng.
”Ij
ustl
augh.
Me:“let
’sheadtot
herecepti
on.Iam hungr
y.Idi
dn’
t
eatanythi
ngforbr
eakf
ast.”

Weheadt otherecept
ionhallandthedécori s
amazing.Weheadt oourtableandsitdown.
Immediatel
yaft
erwesi t
,star
tersareserved.Whi
le
eat
ing,Kuhl
emakeshi swayi nfol
lowedbySbo.I
l
ookatMbusoandPhumudzo.

Me:“pl
easedon’
ttel
lmeyoui
nfor
medhi
m about
myretur
n.”
Mbuso:“
heknewaboutyourret
urnassoonasyou
l
andedatKi
ngShaka.
”Isighshaki
ngmyhead.
Danny:“
aren’
tthoset
heZul
upr
inces?
”
Sbo:“
int
hef
lash.
”Ir
ollmyeyes.

Kuhl
e:“
eveni
ngever
yone.Youal
llookbeaut
if
ult
his
af
ter
noon.
”
Danny:“ishet
alki
ngtous?Areweseri
ousl
ygett
ing
recogni
zedbyroyalt
y?”hewhi
sper
sloudl
yfort
hem
t
ohear .Kuhl
eandSbochuckle.

Kuhl
e:“
youl
ookasbeaut
if
ulasal
waysMaCel
e.”
Danny:“
hol
yfuck,heknowsyou.OMG!Isowanna
beyouri
ghtnow.”Hesaysfanni
nghi
mself
.We
l
augh.

Kuhl
e:“
canIst
ealherf
oraf
ew?
”
Danny:“youcanevenbri
ngherbackt omorrowin
ti
mef orherf
li
ghtyourhi
ghness.”Kuhlechuckl
es
andlooksatme.Ihuffandstandup.
Me:“ fol
lowme.
”Iheadoutsi
deandhefoll
owsme
there.WemeetKandMal i
ast heyar
eaboutt
o
enter.Shefr
owns.
K:“
pleasedon’
ttel
lmeyouar
eleavi
ng.
”

Me:“ nohoneyIam not

.Youlookr eal
lybeaut
if
ul
today.Li
keagoddess.AndMal iyoualsolook
handsome.”Ihugthem bot
h.
Mal
i:“
neverthoughtI
’
dli
vetoseet
hedaythe
mi
ghtyFuthycomplement
sme.”welaugh.

Me:“eveni
fyouwer
eugly,Iwould’
ve
complement
edyoubecauseit
’syourbi
gday.
”They
bot
hlaugh.
Mali
:“hol
yfuck,
it’
sthepr
ince.
”Hesayslooki
ngat
Kuhl
e.Kuhleext
endshishandforashake.

Kuhl
e:“congr
atul
ati
onsonyourmar
ri
ageandIam
sor
ryforcominguninvi
ted.
”
Mali:“owwnoyouar emor
ethanwel
comemy
pri
nce.I’devengi
veyoumyplat
eoft
hefoodhas
fi
nished.”Ij
ustl
augh.

Me:“wewillseeyouguysi
nsi
de.”Ipul
lKuhl
e
out
side.“
Sowhat ’
sup?”hesmi
les.
Kuhl
e:“
youl
ookbeaut
if
ul.
”Ir
ollmyeyes.
Me:“t
hankyouf
orr
espect
ingmywi
shesandnot
f
oll
owme. ”

Kuhle:“
Iloveyouenought
orespectyou.Ar
eyou
backforgood?”Ishakemyhead.“
Whenar eyou
comingback?”
Me:“
that
’snoneofyourbusi
nessKuhl
e.”Hesmi
les.
Kuhl
e:“
youst
il
ldon’
twantme?
”

Me:“Icamefortheweddi
ngKuhl
enotyou.Canwe
notdotheheavytal
k?”
Kuhl
e:“
soyouar
eact
ual
lyconsi
der
ingi
t?”
Me:“ar
gyouar
esoannoying.”Hesmiles.“You
knowwhat,
Iam outofher
e.”Iheadbackinside.He
l
aughsbef
oref
ollowi
ngme.
.
.
Me:“ Iwasn’ texpect i
ngthis.
”Kincludedmei nthe
program.Idon’ tevenknowwhatt osay.“Iam very
happyf oryouK.youhavebeenagr eatemployee
andaf ri
endt ome.Youar elit
eral
lymyhumandi ary.
Ifsomeonewant edtoknowmysecr ets,t
hey’
dhave
tokidnapyou. ”Theyal ll
augh.“Youar eareall
y
greatper sonandIl oveyourpersonalit
y.Ihavea
giftf
oryou. ”It akeoutasmal lboxf r
om mypur se.“I
am or deringyout oopenitwhenyoucomeback
from yourhoneymoon. ”

K:“
butwhygi
vei
ttomenow?
”sheshout
s.Il
augh.
Me:“ i
t’
scall
edbekezeli
ng.
”Shelaughsandtakes
thebox.“Iwishyouallt
hebestbabeandMal iIam
expecti
ngnephewsandni ecesver
ysoon.”He
smiles.
Mal
i:“
Iwon’
tdi
sappoi
nt.
”
Me:“t
hat’
sal
lfr
om me.ThankyouandIl
oveyou
guys.
”Igi
vet
hemictotheMCandheadt omyseat
.
Danny:“
cant
hespeechesendal
ready?Iwannaget
downandmybaeisstil
lher
e.Hewantstocome.”

Me:“
youguysar
eal
readyof
fi
cial
?”
Danny:“
yes.
”Hebl
ushes.
Me:“youluckyf
ish.Yoursexgamei
sonanother
l
evelforhi
mt ocommi twi
thi
n24hoursofyout
wo
knowingeachother.
”
Danny:“
ist
ovesi
ku6mtase.
”Ilaugh.Godwhydi
d
youhavetogi
vemecrazyfr
iends?
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
04] :CHAPTER45

Il
eftDurbanearl
ierthenextmor ningbecauseI
didn’
twanttoseemyf ri
ends.Surelyt hewould’ve
beggedmet ohavel unchoraf ewdr inkswi t
hthem.
Iknowhowt heyare.Theyal sosleptatt hehotel
becausetheywantedt ohavebr eakfastwi t
hme, but
Iranaway.WhenwecamebackDannywassul ki
ng
becausehehadtol eaveAf r
ikabuthesai dwhenhe
getsoutofWomal enahei sgoingt ost ar
tbyvisit
ing
him bef
oregoi
ngbackhome.

TodayisWednesdayandIam havi ngasession

wit
hDakal o.Iprepar
ef ormysessionandthenhead
toheroff
ice.If i
ndhersitt
ingandchatt
ingwitha
youngerversionofherself
.Ijustf
igur
ethatthi
sis
herdaughter,theonewhodesi gnedheroff
ice.
Dakal
o:“
Futhymeetmydaught
erLuf
unoand
Luf
unothi
sis…”
Lufuno:“
Mi ssNtombifut
hiCele,
thef
ounderand
CEOofDubandl elaConstr
ucti
onCompany.Shehas
fewofthebestinter
iordesi
gnersint
hecountry
workingforher
.Whodoesn’ tknowhermom? ”I
l
augh.

Me:“
goodt
oknowIhaveaf
an.
”
Lufuno:“
owwIam notyourf
an,
rat
heryouradmi
rer
becauseyouar
emyr ol
emodel.
”Ismil
e.

Me:“
thankyou.
”
Lufuno:“
nothankyouf
orwor
kinghardandprovi
ng
thatwomencanalsoownmult
i-
bil
li
onai
re
companiesl
ikeDCCandbesuccessf
ulwit
houtany
helpfr
om aman.”
Me:“againt
hankyou.Didyourmot
hert
ellyou
abouttheof
ferImade?”shetur
nst
ohermot her
.
Luf
uno:“
whatof
fermot
her
?”

Dakalo:“
wewil
ltalkaf
termysessionwithFuthy.
Rightnowgomakeyour sel
fbusywithsomething
el
se.”Shehuf
fsandheadsout .“
Kids.
”Sheshakes
herheadandIlaugh.
.
.
It
’sFri
daynightandt helastweekendIam spendi ng
withDannyinLimpopo.Wear eplanni
ngonmaki ng
i
twor t
hi t
.Wegetr eadyforanightouti
nRumour s
NightClubwhichissituatedinLoui
sTrichardtalso
knownasMakhado.Ihaveneverbeent herebut
Dannysaysit’
sani cespot .Pat
ient
satWomal ena
mostlygooutclubbingort ospasorshoppingor
sometimesmovi es.

Igetdr
essedi
nabl
ackr
ib-
kni
tbodycondr
essand
blackopent oel
egchunkyheel s.Byt hewayDanny
hasdescr i
bedthisplace,it
’shi
ghcl asssothereis
noneedt obedr essedallghett
oandwhatnot .Itie
myhai ri naneatbunanddof i
naltouchupsonmy
make- up.Ipackmywal letinmysl ingbagandhead
outmeet i
ngDannyont hehallwaywhoi swearing
skinnyj eanswithapi nkti
ghtshi r
twi t
hit
s3f i
rst
buttonsopenedandnudeboot swhi chmatchwi t
h
hispur se.

Me:“
damngi
rl
.Al
leyeswi
llbeonyout
oni
ght
.”
Danny:“youbetyourf
atasst
heywil
lbe.Butyou
alsol
ooksexylove.Whoknows,
maybeyoucanget
oneofthoseVendagift
edmentorel
easethesexual
tensi
on.
”Ilaugh.

Me:“you’
recr
azyandthisi
sthenewFut
hywho
saysnotoonenightst
ands.
”
Danny:“
Iam justsayi
nglove.
”canyoubel
ievethat
Afr
ikaact
uallywrotealet
terf
orhi
m.Hewentcr azy
whenher ecei
veditonWednesdayandyester
daya
bunchoffl
owersandboxofchocol
ateswas
deli
veredf
orhi
m.WhatIcansayisthatl
oveisi
n
theair
.
.
.
Wegett othecl
ubandheadt otheVIPsecti
on.
WhatcanIsay?Iam sousedt otheVIPsecti
on.
NotbecauseIam rich,
nothat’
snotit
.Iknowthat
theVI
Psect i
onneverrunsoutoftabl
esnomat t
er
howfullthecl
ubis.Awaitercomestoourtabl
e.

Wait
er:“
evening.Thenamei sFhul
u.WhatcanIget
youladi
esthi
sevening?”Dannysmileswhenthe
wait
eracknowledgesthatheisact
uall
yalady.
Me:“
atwelvepackofFl
yingFi
sh,
pressedl
emon.
”I
l
ookatDanny.

Danny:“
andat
wel
vepackofSavannadr
y.”
Me:“
youwannagetdr
unkneh?
”
Danny:“i
t’
smyl astni
ghtatLi
mpopo,
let
’smakei
t
memor abl
e.”Il
augh.
Me:“pl
easeadd2bott
lesofHennessyanda6pack
ofRedbul
l.
”Thewai
ternodsandwr i
tedownwhat
wearesayi
ng.

Danny:“
canweal
sogethubbl
y?
Waiter
:“ofcour
se.I
sthereanythi
ngelse?”we
shakeourheads.Heleaves.Dannyl
ickshisl
ips.

Danny:“
that
’ssomef
ineassr
ightt
her
e.”Il
augh.
Me:“
hisassi
sdef
ini
tel
yfi
rm.
”Heal
sol
aughs.
.
.
Fewhour slat
erwear ekakdrunk,
singi
ngand
danci
nglikenobody.Asdr unkasweare,weare
j
ustenjoyingeachother’
scompany.Therehave
beengentlemenwhohavebeenwant i
ngtojoi
nus
orbuydrinksforus,
butwedenyt hei
rof fer
s.The
ti
mei s4:
30butweknowwear enotl eavingunti
lwe
fi
nishourdri
nks.Ontopofthat24packwebought ,
weaddedanot her24andtheotherbottleof
Hennessywehaven’topenedityet.

Danny:“
babes,peopl
ear eleavi
ng,
let
’sbuyi
ceand
gett
hebillandal
soleave.”
Me:“
whoi
sset
tl
ingt
hebi
ll
?”

Danny:“it
’sonme. ”hebuystheice,
set
tlethebi
ll
t
henwet akeouralcoholandheadtomycar .We
l
oaditont hecoolerboxandthenhedrivesout.
“Ther
ei sthi
sparksomewher eherewherewecan
j
ustdrinkandwat chthesunrise.
”
Me:“
goodi
dea.Dr
ivet
her
e.”

Hedri
vest
hereandparkthecar.Wet aket
hecooler
boxandpl
aceiti
nfrontoft
hecar .Wealsotakeout
campchai
rsandplacethem nearthecool
erbox.
Wet akeof
fourshoesandlockt
hem i
nthecar
.We
gositandwatchthesunri
sewit
hdri
nksonour
hands.

Me:“
wher
edoyouseeyour
sel
finf
iveyear
s?”
Danny:“ marr
iedwit
hkids.”Webot hl augh.“
Just
joki
ng.Iwannahavepr acticesaroundt hecountr
y,
notjustonewhereIam basedat .Bei ngyourfri
end
hasmademewantmor e.Youinspireme.Youar ea
goaldrivenwomanandIj ustwannabel i
keyou.I
knowwhatmanypeopl ehavenocl uewhat
endocrinol
ogyis,t
hat’
swhyIwannahavesemi nars
i
nhi ghschoolsnextyearwher eIwillgoexplai
n
whatitisandwhyi ti
simpor tant
.”

Me:“wowt hat
’sdeepandIam ver yhappythatI
havethatki
ndofinfluenceonyou.That’
sthe
foot
pri
ntIalwayswannal eaveonpeople.That‘
I
seeyou,Iseeyoursuccess,Iseeyoureachingyour
goal
s,Iwannabej ustli
keyou,Ialsowannabetter
myselfj
ustli
keyouandnotwai tf
orhandouts’
.I
hatepeopl ewhobelike‘sheissuccessf
ul wara-
warabutl ookatherextendedf amil
yorf
riends
str
uggl i
ng.Iwannabear ol
emodelnotamot her
Theresawhopeopl ethinkwillgivet
hem handouts
tobetterthemsel
ves.”

Danny:“ you’ r
er i
ght.Whenaper sonr eceivesa
handout ,theydon’ twor khar d.Andpeopl earound
yousomet imesf eel l
iketheyar eent i
tledtoyour
success.Ihavecousi nsliket hat
.Mi nawhenIwas
chasedoutoft hevill
agewi thmyf ami ly,
Ibui l
ta
housef ort hem, boughtcar sforthem andst arted
upar estaur antforthem.Myf ami l
ybacki nthe
vi
ll
agest artedcalli
ngaski ngf orfavour sandshi t
butnoneoft hem didnot hingwhenmypar entswere
chasedoutoft hevill
ageatni ght.
”

Me:“Igetyoubutwhyar ewehavi
ngsuchadeep
conver
sati
on?”helaughs.
Danny:“
Idon’
tknow.Iguessalcoholsomet
imes
makesyouthi
nkofallt
hethingsyouhavebeen
t
hrough.
”
Me:“
truet
hat
.”
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
04] :CHAPTER46

Af ewhour sl
aterwear epul l
ingupatCovanoLodge.
Wel lweareonlygoi ngtohavebr eakfasthereand
thenheadbackt otheretr
eat.Wepar kt hecarand
getof fcar
ryi
ngourwal let
sandbar ef
oot .Dannyhas
beenher ebeforesohel eadsmet othedi ni
ngarea.
Aswegeti nthere,
thehost essstopsus.
Hostess:“goodmor ningma’am andsi
r.
Unfort
unatelyIcan’tletyoui
nbecauseyouarebot
h
dr
essedi nappropri
ately.
”Welookateachot
herand
l
ookatherf rowning.
Danny:“
whatt
hef uckdoyoumeanifyouar
e
sayi
ngwearedressedinappr
opr
iat
ely?
”

Me:“Ithi
nksheishomophobic.
”Isaylookingat
Danny.Iusedtodothi
sinhighschool.I
nterpr
et
someone’sstat
ementwronglyj
usttocausehavoc.
RightnowDannylooksli
keheisreadytoripthi
s
womanapar t
.
Danny:“
wejustwannadi
neandl
eaveyouandyour
homophobi
cass.”

Host
ess:“
li
sten,
Ican’
tletyoui
n…”
Me:“
heywewantt
oeatbr
eakf
astonl
ythenwewi
ll
beonourway.
”

Host
ess:“
pleasel
eavewi
ll
ingl
ybef
oreIcal
l
securit
y.”Idi
dn’
twantt
ouset
hiscardIam aboutt
o
user i
ghtnowbutthi
swomanisgett
ingonmy
nerves.

Me:“womanl istenhere,myf ri
endandIcanbuy
thi
slodgeofyour sandyoui niti
nasecond.Don’ t
makeusgi veyouabadr evi
ew.Wehavebeen
dri
nkingallni
ghtsowear ehungry.Wej ustwanna
eatandleaveyoh. ”shelooksbehi ndmewi t
hher
eyesandmout hwi deopen.IturnandInear lyf
aint
whenIseet heki ngandthepr i
ncesl ookingatus.

Danny:“
OMG!
”hesaysl
ooki
ngatt
hem.
Me:“hol
yfucki
t’
sKuhl
e’
sfat
her.
”Isayinawhisper
butwhenIseehi
m smi
li
ngIknowthathehear
dme.

Simi
ngezwi:“sorrymiss.
”Hesayslookingatt
he
host
ess.“
Pr epareatablefor7ASAP,youdon’
t
wannakeepr oyalt
ywaiti
ng.”
Host
ess:“
ri
ghtaway.
”Shepr
act
ical
lyr
unsof
f.Now
wear
estandingawkwar dl
yinf
rontoft
heZul
u
r
oyal
slooki
nglikesavages.

Me:“fr
iendweshouldleave.Wewi
llbutper
i-
per
i
gr
il
ledchickenf
rom Nandos.”
Danny:“
yeahandaddabucketofhotwi
ngs.
”

Me:“yeahthatsoundslikeaplan.
”Wear e
whisper
ingtoourselvesbuttheycanhearus
becausetheyarelaughing.
Ki
ng:
“MaCel
e.”Dannyscr
eamsandInear
lyf
aint
.

Me:“
yourmajest
y,yourhi
ghness,
yourgr
ace.
”
Kuhl
e’
sbrot
hersjustl
augh.
Ki
ng:
“joi
nusf
orbr
eakf
astandt
hat
’sanor
der
.”

Danny:“
Wewer en’
tpl
anni
ngondefyi
ngyouyour
majest
y.”Il
aughathowhei st
alki
ng,
hispaceisso
fast
.Thehostesscomesbackandushersthem t
o
theirt
able,wefol
lowli
kelostpuppi
es.Theot
her
s
sitdown, NqabaopensachairformeandIsmil
e
thensitdown.Healsosit
sdown.

Mkhulul
i:“Iseeyouwantbhutit
okil
lyouneh?”he
sayseyeingNqabawhoj ustl
aughsshakinghi
s
head.Thewai t
ercomestotakeourorder
.
Simingezwi
:“wewouldl
iketwof
ullandhotgri
ll
ed
chickenswi
throl
lsandchi
psanda2lcoke.”

Mkhul
uli
:“woul
dyoul
iket
oaddsomet
hingsi
si?
”he
asksl
ooki
ngatme.
Me:“
ahotf
ullchi
ckenont
hego.
”
Danny:“
and900gchi
lir
ibswi
thBuf
fal
owi
ngs.
”

Me:“
anda2lLi
quif
rui
t,br
eakf
astpunchf
lavour
.”
Wait
er:“
wil
lthatbeal
l?
”Iwannakeepqui
etbutI
j
ustfai
l.
Me:“
Iwoul
dal
sol
ikeyourhost
esst
ocomeand
apologi
zef
orchasingusawaywhenwecanaf for
d
tobuyorbri
ngthi
splacedown.
”Thewaitercl
ears
thei
rthr
oat
.“Iam j
ustki
ddi
ng.
”Sherushesaway.

Nqaba:“
act
ual
lysheshoul
dcomeandapol
ogi
ze.
”
Me:“nahIdon’tneedafakeapology.Wit
hor
wit
houtitl
if
egoesonbutIhat ethefactt
hatshe
l
ookeddownuponusandsawt hatwewer enot
wort
hyofdininghere.
”
King:“
howareyouMaCel e?
”Iclearmyt hr
oat.
KonjeIam di
ningwit
hawhol eking.I
tisscar
y
shamebutIjustbr
eatheoutloud.

Me:“
Iam okaymyki
ng.
”
Ki
ng:
“whenar
eweseei
ngyouatt
hepal
ace?
”
Me:“
asawhat?Kuhle’
sbusi
nessassoci
ateor
f
ri
end?”hel
aughs.
Ki
ng:
“nei
therbutIam goi
ngt
oleti
tgof
ornow.
”
Thefoodcomesear l
ierthanIthought.Westart
eati
ngandt hehotmeatishit
tingthatspot
,that
spotguys.ThefoodisverygreatbutIam notgoing
topostareviewaboutthispl
acebecauseoft he
wayDannyandIwer et r
eatedearli
er.

Mkhul
uli
:“whatbr
ingsyout
oLi
mpoposi
si?
”
Me:“
ment
alr
elat
edi
ssues.
”
Nqaba:“
wearesosorr
yforbei
ngr
udet
oyour
f
ri
end.What
’syourname?”
Danny:“
Dani
el.
”

Nqaba:“
whatdoyoudo?
”
Danny:“
Iam anendocr
inol
ogi
st.
”
Si
mingezwi
:“endiwhat
?”
Nqaba:“
saynomore.
”Weal
llaugh.Ipourt
hej
uice
i
ntheglassandsi
p.
Me:“
whatt
hef
uck?
”Icough.
Danny:“
whati
sitbl
ue?
”
Me:“t
hereissomet
hingint
hisjui
ce.”Hetakesi
t
andpoursitont
hefl
oor.Fi
reantscomeoutandI
scr
eam andstar
tgaggi
ng.“It
hinkIswall
owed
some.”Dannyst
andsup.

Danny:“
weneedtorushyout
othehospi
tal
.”Aman
i
nanavysuitmakeswaytoourt
abl
e.
Man:“myqueendr
inkthis.I
twil
lhel
pyou.
”He
handsmeasmallbott
le.Ishakemyhead.

Me:“
Idon’
tknowwhot
hefuckyouandIai
n’tabout
t
odri
nksomethi
ngwhi
chIdon’
tknow.
”
Ki
ng:
“pl
easedr
inkMaCel
e.I
twi
llhel
pyou.
”
Me:“
whoi
sthi
sman?
”

Mkhul
uli
:“ourr
oyalheal
er.Pl
easedr
inksi
sibef
ore
morehar
m happens.”
Me:“ifsomethi
nghappenstomebecauseoft hi
s,
youaregoingtoregr
etthedayyourancest
ors
broughtyoutothi
sworl
d.”

Hel aughsandIt akethebot t

le.Hehandst heice
buckett oDanny.Idr i
nkthepot ionandaf ew
secondsl aterIf
eel t
heurgetot hrowup.Ir unt othe
rest
r oom andIreleaseeverythingt heminuteIget
tothet oi
let
.Ifeelmyheadspi nningandIgetdi zzy.
Ifl
ushandt hengetoutofthest al
l.Iwashmy
mout handsl iddownont hecol dt i
les.

Danny:“BLUE!
”heshout
sfr
om out
sidet
he
rest
room.
Me:“yeahj
ustaminut
e.”Iwhi
sper
.Myheadkeeps
spi
nninganddownIgo,andhaveabl
ackout
.
.
.
IopenmyeyesandwhenIl
ookaroundIcansee
thatIam i
nsomeki
ndofahospi
tal
.WhenIlookt
o
myr i
ghtIseeAluwhoistypingsomethingont he
i
Pad.WhenIl ooktomyleftIseeDannyl ooki
ng
posh.Icl
earmyt hr
oatandtheybothlookatme.

Me:“pl
easedon’
ttel
lmeIam i
nahospi
tal
.”They
chuckl
e.
Alu:“
youar
eint
hesi
ckr
oom oft
her
esor
t.
”Isi
ghi
n
rel
ief
.
Me:“
that
’sbet
ter
.Howdi
dIgether
ethough?
”

Al
u:“
youwer
ebr
oughtbackbyt
heZul
uroyal
s.”
Me:“
whatr
eal
lyhappenedbackt
her
e?”
Danny:“
thathostessputt
hosef
ireant
sinourjui
ce
butdon’
tworry,sheisj
obl
essri
ghtnow,t
ogether
wit
hthewaiter.
”

Me:“
butwhyt
hough?
”
Danny:“wehumil
iat
edher
,thatwasherexplanat
ion
whereassheist
heonewhohumi li
atedus.
”
Me:“
whatdayi
sit
?”
Danny:“Sunday.Youhavebeenasl
eepsi
nce
yest
erday.”Il
ookathi
m.
Me:“
whi
chmeansyouar
eleavi
ngt
oday.
”Hesi
ghs.

Danny:“
yesbutourfriendshi
pisn’
tgoingtoend
her
e.”hetakesoutabusinesscard.“
Callmewhen
youareout.
”Ismile.
Me:“
Iam goi
ngt
omi
ssyou.
”

Danny:“notasmuchasIam goi ngt oMi ssYou.”He

hugsmeandki ssesmyf or
ehead.“Pleasesavea
seatformeonPr i
nce’
sjetwhenyouar egoi ngt
o
Libya.
”Ilaugh.Andtakethebusinesscar d.
Me:“
Iloveyou.
”Hesmi
les.

Danny:“Il
oveyout
ooBlue.
”Heplant
saki
ssonmy
hand.“ByeAl
ubabes.
”shesmi
les.
Al
u:“
byeDanny.
”Heheadsout
.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
05] :SPONSOREDCHAPTER
CHAPTER47

*
**LEE*
**

Iam dri
vingfrom workwit
hmyguar ds.WellGif
tis
theonewhoi sdrivi
ng.Iam sot
ir
ed.Ijustwanna
gethomeandhavewi neinabubblebath.Imiss
FuthysomuchbutIam happyt hatsheisgetti
ng
thehel
pt hatsheneedsandIknowwhenshe
comesback,
shei
sgoi
ngt
obesomuchbet
ter
.

Gif
tcursesunderhisbreat
handIlookupt oseea
fr
ustr
atedlookonhisfaceinthemirr
or.Babal
wa
nextt
ohi misprepari
ngherguns.Iknowthat
somethingiswrong.

Me:“
guyswhati
sgoi
ngon?
”
Babalwa:“thereisacarfol
lowingusandi
tisthatof
yourexMi ssNkosi .
”Ist
arttopani
c.Ir
eal
lythought
thathehadf orgott
enaboutme.Iguesspsychos
neverfor
get .

Me:“
whatcanIdo?
”
Gi
ft
:“cal
lthecops.Wewi l
ldealwit
hhim buti
nfor
m
t
hem sothati
twillbeeasytolockhim up.
”

Ical
lthecopsandtel
lthem mycur r
entsi
tuat
ion
andtellt
hem mycurr
entlocat
ion.Iscr
eam outl
oud
whenIheargunshot s.Inowr eal
izet
hatheis
actual
lyshooti
ngt hecarwear ei
n.theoffi
ceron
theli
neaskswhati sgoingonandIupdat eher.She
tel
lsmet hathelpsisont hewayandt hatIshoul
dn’
t
stopdrivi
ngandImust n’thangupsot hatt
heycan
conti
nuet r
ackingmyl ocation.

Me:“
Gif
tdon’
tst
opdr
ivi
ng.
”
Gi
ft
:“Iwasn’
tpl
anni
ngoni
t.
”
Babal
wa:“i
tlookslikeheisnotal
one.Ther
ear
e3
ot
herpeopl
ei nthatcar.
”

Me:“
whyhasn’
tthegl
assshat
ter
ed?
”
Babalwa:“wehavehadt hewi ndowsbull
etproofed
boss.”Inod.Thedetecti
vewhoIam t al
kingwi t
h
overthephonei sDetect
iveAlungi
leNkositell
sme
thatsheis5mi nutesawayfrom ourl
ocation.

Me:“
thepol
icear
efi
vemi
nut
esawayf
rom her
e.”
Gif
t:“wearegoingtost
opatthei ntersect
ionwhich
i
sthr eeminut
esawayfrom here.Wear ej
ustgoing
tostayinsi
dethecarsi
nceit’
sbul l
etproof
ed.”Inod
again.

Babalwa:“rel
axboss.Nothi
ngisgoi
ngt
ohappento
you.”Gi
ftcontinuesdr
ivi
ngandaft
erawhi
leIhear
ti
resscreechi
ng.
Gift:“fuck,theyareaimi ngatthetires.”Myheart
skipsabeat .Foramanwhowant sme, hei
sacti
ng
stupidbecausehi sactionsmi ghtkillme.Wehear
sir
ensandIr el
axabi t.Giftst
opst hecaratthe
i
nt ersection.Athi’
scardr i
vespastusandt hepoli
ce
followhi m.Ihangupandsi gh.Giftgetsoutoft
he
cart oinspectt heti
res.Babalwaf ollowshim.

Me:“
isever
ythi
ngokay?
”Iaskget
ti
ngoutoft
hecar
.
Babal
wa:“
allt
het
ir
esar
edamaged.
”Isi
gh.
Me:“l
etmecallMabuthosothathecanhel
pus.
”
Gi
ftnodsandopensthecarboot.It
hencal
l
Mabut
ho.

Mabut
ho:“
MaNkosi
.”
Me:“
areyoubusy?
”
Mabutho:“
Icanneverbebusyf
oryou.Whatdoyou
need?
”

Me:“ti
res.Wewer eunderat t
ack.Athishotmycar
.
Lucki
lyiti
sbull
etproof edsotheonlythi
ngthat
suff
eredwerethetires.”Ihearsoundsfrom t
he
background,
soundsl ikeheismovi ng.
Mabut
ho:“
areyouokay?Wher
ear
eyou?
”

Me:“
Iam fi
ne.Iam goi
ngt
osendyoumyl
ocat
ion.
”
Hebreat
hesoutloud.
Mabutho:“
Iwi
llgett
her
eassoonasIcan.
”He
hangsup.
Me:“hei scoming.
”Isayturni
ngtomyguards.Gi
ft
hasalreadytakenoutoneti
re.Myphoneri
ngsandI
frownwhenIseeanof f
icenumber.It
henansweri
t.
“DoctorNkosihell
o.”
Call
er:“Doct
orNkosit
hisi
sDetect
iveNkosi
.We
havecaughtthepeopl
ewhower echasi
ngyou.We
aregoingtoneedyoutocometothestat
ionsothat
youcanmakeast atementandtel
luswhatexact
ly
i
sgoingon? ”

Me:“
okaydet
ect
ive.Whi
chst
ati
onshoul
dIgot
o?”
Cal
ler
:“Gr
eyvi
ll
epol
icest
ati
on.
”

Me:“okay, Iwil
lbethereassoonasIcan.”She
hangsup.Mi nut
eslaterMabuthoarr
iveswher
ewe
areat.Hei swithZamoh.Her ushestomeandhugs
me.Het henbreaksthehugandchecksmeout .I
chuckle.“Whatareyoudoing?”

Mabut
ho:“
Iam checki
ngt
oseei
fyou’
reokay.
”
Me:“Iam fi
ne.Canyoubor r
owmeyourcar ?Ineed
togettoGreyvi
ll
estati
on.Detecti
veNkosicaught
Athiandhisfri
ends.
”Heopenshi smout handIcan
seethatheisabouttoprot
est.“Befor
eyouprotest
,
Babalwaistheonewhoi sgoingtodrivemethere.
”

Mabutho:“Iam goingwithyou.Ther
eisalsoafew
thi
ngsthatIneedtot el
lthedet
ecti
vewhichmight
hel
pherint hecase.”Isi
gh.
Me:“whatever.Let
’sgo.”Itakemybagf rom mycar
andheadtoFut hy’
sFor t
urner.Babalwaand
Mabuthojoinsmeaf terafewmi nutesandhedri
ves
ustothestati
on.
.
.
Wejustcameoutoft hest ati
onandIam madat
Mabutho.Iam madbecauseoft hethi
ngshehid
fr
om me, aboutAt
hibreakinginmyhouseand
l
eavingthingsi
nsi
de.Idon’ tcar
ethathewas
prot
ecti
ngmeorwhat everbutheshould’
vetol
dme.
Heismaki ngmesomad.Ihavej usttol
dhimto
dr
opmeof fatNoma’shouseandheshoul
dleave
wi
thBabalwa.Theydropmeoffandl
eavesoon
af
terImakeiti
nsidet
hehouse.

Iunlockt hehouseandheadt ot
hekitchen.Itake
outbot t
ledwat erfrom t
hefr
idgeanddr i
nkit.Ithen
scream Noma’ snamebecauset hehousei sso
qui
et .Ij
ogt oherr oom andfi
ndhercuddlingwi th
herhuget eddy.Ishakeherandshest i
rsandopen
hereyes.

Noma:“ didyouhavet owakemeupt hough?”she

asksinfrustr
ati
on.Ijustlaughandj
oi nheri
nbed
aft
ertakingoffmyheel s.“Youl
ookhalfhappyand
halfmad.Whati si
t?”Ilaughather.
Me:“
whatt
hef
ucki
shal
fhappyhal
fmad?
”

Noma:“yourf
aci
alexpr
essi
onwhenIopenedmy
eyes.
”Il
aughagai
n.
Me:“
you’
recr
azy.AnywaysIam happyt
hatAt
hi
hasbeenar
rest
ed.
”Shesi
tsupst
rai
ght
.

Noma:“
how?Whatdi
dhedo?
”
Me:“hewasf ol
lowingmycarandheshotmyt ir
es.I
wentt ot
hestat
iontopresschar
gesagainsthi
m.I
am madbecauset herei
ssomeevidencethati
s
goingtohel
pwit ht
hecasebutMabuthohasbeen
keepingi
tfr
om me. ”

Noma:“
whatevi
dence?
”
Me:“hebr okeint
omyhouse, l
eftnot
esandroses
andallthatromanti
ccreepyshiti
nther
e.Mabutho
wentintomyhouse, hewasor der
edbyFuthy.He
foundthatandhedi dn’
tbot
hertotel
lme.”

Noma:“
maybehewaspr
otect
ingme.
”
Me:“f
rom what
?Hewast reat
ingmeli
keaki
d.”I
huf
fandcuddlethebear
.Nomasmiles.
Noma:“t
heguyl ovesyou,soit
’sobviousthathe
wil
ldoanythingtopr
otectyou,physi
call
yand
emoti
onal
ly.”Ifr
own.
Me:“
whatdoyoumeanhel
ovesme?
”

Noma:“forsomeonewhoisadoct or
,yousurecan
bestupi
dsomet i
mes.Evenablindpersoncansee
thatMabuthodoesnotonl
ylovesyoubutheisin
l
ovewi t
hyou.”Isi
gh.
Me:“ butIdon’
tthi
nkIam readyforaserious
relat
ionshi
p.NotthatIwannacontinuewiththeone
nightstandsbutIam notreadyemotionall
y.”

Noma:“Ihearyoubooandi fyouarenotreadydon’
t
commi t
.Andalsodon’
tsleepwithMabuthoifyou
arenotgoi
ngtogivehim yourhear
tbecauseyou
wil
lbebreaki
nghisheart
.”
Me:“
okayt
ase.Whataboutyouandben10?
”

Noma:“
Ibr
oket
hingsof
fwi
thhi
m.Hedoesn’
tknow
whathewant s.Sur
ehefucksmegoodbutIam ol
d
tase.Idon’tneedahumansextoy.Ineedaman
whoi sgoingt ol
oveme.Heisst
il
laboy.Heisf
ull
ofshit.
”Ilaugh.
Me:“Iam sorr
ytase.Butyouaregoingtofi
ndthe
ri
ghtoneforyou.Fornowl et
’sgocook.Butyouwill
dothecookingandIwilldothetal
king.
”Shelaughs.

Noma:“
nowyouar
ebei
ngl
ikeFut
hy.
”Isi
ghand
st
andup.
Me:“
Imi
ssher
.”Isaywhi
lewear
ingsl
eeper
s.
Noma:“
Imi
sshertoobutshei
singoodhandsand
shei
scomi
ngbacksoon.”
Me:“
yah.
”
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
05] :SPONSOREDCHAPTER
CHAPTER48

Todayi smyl asttherapysessionandmyl astnight

i
smyl astdayatWomal ena.Iam leavingf
ir
stthing
tomorrowmor ning.Iam verysadthatIam leavi
ng
becauset hi
spl aceisasaf ehaven.Ihavedecided
thatIam goingt omakeahugedonat i
onwhenIam
backatDur ban.Ihavebeenher efortwomont hs.

Iam prepari
ngf ormyl astsession.Igetdr
essedi
n
ablackdoublest rapsurplicenecksli
promperand
brownsandal s.Ilockmysui t
eandheadt oDakal
o’s
offi
ce.Wehavebeenver yclose,wehaveevenwent
outfordinnertwice.Shei saveryopenwoman.

If
oundmysel
fof
fer
ingLuf
unoi
nter
nshi
pfort
hese
fewmonthsunti
lIopentheJHBbr anch.Iknowt hat
i
t’smycompanybutwhatIdidisunet hical
.But
what’
sdoneisdone.Isi
tdownaftergr eeti
ng
Dakal
o.Sheopenshernotepadandst artswri
ti
ng
somethi
ng.

Dakal
o:“
sowhatareyougoi
ngt
odoaboutyour
t
hreeadmir
ers?
”Ismil
e.
Me:“Iam goi
ngtoapologi
zetoalloft
hem for
l
eadingthem onandmakingthem bel
ievet
hatthey
haveachanceindati
ngme. ”

Dakalo:“
whataboutthepri
nce?
”sheaskswi
ggl
i
ng
hereyebrowsandIlaugh.
Me:“Ireall
ydon’tknowwhereIst
andwit
hthatone
butunti
l hesor
tshisshitwi
thhi
swif
ethenther
e
i
sn’tgoingtobean‘ us’
.
”

Dakal
o:“
ifheweretocal
ltomorr
owandt
ellyout
hat
hehasdi
vorcedhiswi
fe,woul
dyoubewi
thhim?”I
l
aughagai
n.
Me:“
what
everdude.
”

Dakal
o:“
Futhywewer emakingprogr
ess.Don’
t
makemeext endyourst
ayhere.
”Ihuff
.“Doyou
l
ovehim?”
Me:“
Idolovehi m.What’
stherenott
ol ove?Heis
ki
nd,
lovi
ng, car
ing,
consi
derateandprotecti
ve.He
i
sanidealboyfri
endandhusband.Anywoman
woul
dbel uckytohavehi
m. ”

Dakalo:“
andyouar
eoneofthetwowomeninthe
worldwhom hel
oves.Whatdoest
hatmakeyou
feel
?”
Me:“veryspecialbutIwon’
ttel
lhi
m howIf
eelunt
il
hesortsouthisshit.
”

Dakal
o:“
goodl
uckont
hataspectt
hen.
”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“
thankyou.
”
Dakal
o:“
whataboutSabel
o?Doyouf
orgi
vehi
m?”
Me:“ yeah.I
twasn’
tmeantt
obe.Iam sooldt
ost ay
madatwhathappenedyearsago.Iam notabit
ter
person.Yeshehurtmebutther
eisnoneedforme
tostaymadathi mfort
hisl
ong.”

Dakal
o:“
whatabouthi
swi
fe?
”
Me:“
Idon’
tcar
eabouther
.Shei
sanon-
fact
ori
n
myli
fe.
”

Dakal
o:“t
hat’
sthespi
ri
t.Whataboutmar
ri
ageand
ki
ds?”Ishr
ug.
Me:“i
twil
ldependonmyf
utur
eboyf
ri
end.
”She
smil
es.

Weconti
nuet
alki
ngandoursessi
onf i
nal
lycomes
t
oanend.Wewal koutt
oget
herheadingtot
he
l
obbyandIsmil
ewhenIseethattheyhaveplanned
afarewellpart
yforme.Ever
ypatienti
shere.Some
ofthestaffsayafewwordsaboutme, evenDakalo
andBono.Someofmyt eam matesfrom basket
bal
l
al
sosayaf ewwords.

Thepartydoesn’
tlastlong.Aft
er2hour sweallgo
ourseparat
eways.Igett omyr oom andchange
i
ntomybl ackandyellowswi msuit
.Ithenheadto
thepoolanddoaf ewl aps.WhenIam done,Ihead
backtomyr oom,takeashowerandf i
nishpacki
ng
myclothes.
.
.
It
’sFr i
daynightrightnow.Igett omyhousear ound
7pm.Iam sot ir
ed.It’
snochi l
d’splaydrivi
ng12+
hourswi thoutanyonet ot
aket urnswith.Iparkmy
carint hegarage.Itakemyl uggageandheadi nside
usingt hekit
chenent r
ance.Ther ei
ssomuchnoi se
comi ngfrom thelounge.Icant el
lthattheyare
havingadebat eorsomet hing.Iputmyl uggage
neart hestai
rcase.
Ithenheadt othel oungeandj ustst andinthe
door way.Therearemaki ngsomuchnoi seandi n
topic,t
heydon’tevennot i
cemest andinghere.
Ther ei
sNoma, Lee,Lee’sguar ds,Mabutho,
Thobeka, Zamoh, Xoli,
LeleandPhumudzo.I
wonderwhatLel eisdoingher e.Iclearmyt hroat
andt heydon’tturntomydi r
ection.Iswitchoffthe
l
ightandwhenIswi tchthem on, t
heyar eallquiet
l
ooki ngaround.

Me:“BOO!”Isayinascar ywayandt
heladiesj
ump
upinfri
ght.Il
augh.“Ihadtodosomethi
ngtoget
youratt
enti
on.Ihavebeenstandi
nghereforawhi
le
now.”Theladiesall
comeandbombardmewi t
h
hugs.“Okaythat’
senough.”
Noma:“you’r
eback?”Inod.“
Forgood.
”Inodagai
n.
Shehugsmeagai n.“
Imissedyousomuch.”She
sayssni
ffi
ng.

Me:“
Iam backnow.Rel
ax.
”SheandLeepul
lmet
o
t
heki
tchenandIj
ustgi
ggl
e.
Lee:“
areyouokay?
”

Me:“
Iam f
ine.If
eel
ref
reshedandIam r
eadyt
o
t
akeonanythi
ng.
”
Noma:“t
hat
’st
hespi
ri
t.I
t’
ssogoodt
ohaveyou
back.
”
Lee:“
yeah.Weneedt
ogooutt
oni
ght
.”Il
augh.

Lele:“Iagreewi t
ht hem sisi.
”Hesayscomingto
wher eIam st anding.HehugsmeandIhughi m
back.“ Idi
dn’treali
zehowmuchImi ssedyouunt
ilI
heardyouwer eatKatlego’sweddi
ng.”Welaughat
him.
Thobeka:“
it
’sKgomotsodummy. ”Shesaysmaki
ng
herwayinthekit
chenandsidehuggingme.Lel
e
star
esatherwit
hhiseyebrowsraised.
Lel
e:“
whoareyoucal
li
ngadummyMaNgwenya?
”
shehi
desbehi
ndme.
Thobeka:“dummy?Whosai
ddummy?Youhear
d
wrong.Isaiddar
li
ng.
”Wel
aughatt
hem.
Me:“ar
eyouguysdoi
ngwhatIt
hinkyouar
e
doi
ng?”
Noma:“
owwyeah.
”Il
augh.

Me:“andher eIt
houghtyouwereafr
aidat
Thobeka.”Isayl
ookingatLel
ewit
hanamused
expr
ession.
Lel
e:“askherwhoi
saf
rai
dofwhor
ightnow.
”He
headsout.
Me:“car
etoexpl
ainMaNgwenya?
”Isayi
nLel
e’
s
voi
ceandshegiggl
es.

Thobeka:“hehat
esitwhenIdi
srespecthi
m.Ifeel
sor
ryformyvaginanowbecausehei sgoingt
o
murderit
.”Ifr
own.
Me:“
geez,
Idi
dn’
tneedt
oknowaboutmybaby
br
other
’ssexl
if
e.”Theyl
aughatme.
.
.
.
Igettomyr oom andqui ckl
yr ushtomybedsi de
drawer .It
akeoutmyphoneandswi t
chiton.Whi le
i
t’
sst i
llloadingnoti
fi
cations,Itakemysui tcasest o
mycl oset,Iam goingtoseet hem tomor r
ow.
TonightIam goi ngclubbingandIam sonotdr ivi
ng.
Itakeof fmycl ot
hesandIam l ef
twi t
hmymat ching
underwear .Itakemyphoneandcal lZah.She
answer safterafewr i
ngsandscr eamsi mmedi at
ely.
Ij
ustl augh.

Me:“Zanel
ecal
m down.”Shedoesbr
eat
hing
exer
cisesandf
inal
lycal
msdown.
Zah:“f
eel
slikeIam dreaming,
gett
ingaphonecal
l
fr
om you.Ican’
tbel
ieveithasbeentwomonths.
”I
chuckl
e.
Me:“
yeahi
thasbeenl
ongbutIam backnow.
”
Zah:“
it
’sgoodtohaveyouback.Wher
ear
eyou
guyscl
ubbing?
”Ilaugh.
Me:“
whosai
dwear
ecl
ubbi
ng?
”
Zah:“
IknowthatNomaandLeearether
eandt
hey
havei
nfl
uencedyoutogocl
ubbi
ng.”

Me:“
What
everbutIam t
hinki
ngofgoi
ngt
oAl
loy.
”
Zah:“
wewil
lmeetyouther
eandbef
oreyouaskI
am wi
thMbuso.
”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“okay.Pl
easebookameetingwitht
hatwit
h
thatdemandi
ngcli
entandtel
lhimthatweare
meetingathi
ssit
etomorr
owdur i
ngtheday.
”She
chuckles.

Zah:“f
inal
ly.Thatmancanbeimpossi
ble.Atone
ti
meIt ol
dhimt ofuckof
fandhetol
dmet hatheis
notgoinganywhere,hewant
sMissCelehere.
”I
l
augh.
Me:“
thatdr
amat
ichuh?
”
Zah:“
youdon’
tknowhal
fofi
t.
”
Me:“
okay.Seeyoui
ntwohour
satAl
loy.
”
Zah:“
seeyou.
”Ihangup.

Ithencallmymot herandt el
lherthatIam back.
Shei ssohappyshecan’ tevencont ai
nher
excitement.Sij
abuli
lecanbedr amaticsometi
mes.
Sheevencal lsdad, GcinoandThando.Theyal ltal
k
tomeandmom i nvitesmef ordinnertomorr
ow.I
gladlyacceptherinvi t
eandt el
lherthatIwi
llsee
hertomor r
ow.Ihangupandgot akeashower .WE
GOI NGCLUBBI NG!
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
05] :SPONSOREDCHAPTER
CHAPTER49
OnethingIl
oveaboutexpensivealcoholisthatthe
hangoveri
sn’
tanauseati
ngone.I tisjustanor mal
hangovert
hatcanbecuredbyonepanado.Igetup
fr
om thebed,makeitandthengot othebat hroom.I
showerandthenbrushmyt eeth.Igetoutofthe
bathr
oom andthengotomycl oset.Ifir
stloti
onmy
bodyandthenblowdrymyhai r.

Igetdressedinamust ardoneshoulderbodycon
dresswhichi skneelengt handIwearbl uesandals
tomatchwi tht hehai
r.Iheadt otheki
tchenandeat
cereal
.WhenIam done, Iheadtomyst udy.Irepl
y
tomyemai l
sandt exts.IfrownwhenIcomeacr oss
thi
scertai
nemai lf
rom Museum ofSout hAf r
ica.I
openitandi treadsthis:
‘
DearMi
ssCel
e
Wear edel i
ghtedtoinf orm youthatyouhavebeen
chosent odesignt hesecondbi ggestSouthAf ri
can
museum whi chwillbel ocatedatPiet
ermarit
zburg.
Afterseeingyoursket ches, wewereveryimpr essed
whichi swhywehavedeci dedtograntyouthis
tender.Pl
easer eplytousassoonaspossi bl
eso
thatwecangetst arted.’

Iam sureZahi stheonewhosubmi t

tedthi
s.Ionce
didasketchaboutahugemuseum whi chIst
oredi
t
i
nmyof f
ice.Thesekidsthough.Igetdonewith
repl
yingtomyemai l
s.Ialsof
indthattheti
tl
edeeds
ofmyt wobui l
dingshavebeensent.Thisisgood.I
t
meanswecanst ar
tbuil
dingnow.Thet imecomes
formymeet ing.

Iheadtomyr oom t
otakemyphone, carkeys,i
Pad
andthenheadout.Ifi
ndZamoh, Mabuthoand
Thobekaal
readywaiti
ngformei nt
hedoor way.I
handZamoht hekeys.Weallheadoutandclimb
i
ntothecar.Hedr i
vesoff
.Themeetingisin
Ntuzuma.IcallDanny.I
t’
saboutti
me.Thephone
automat
icall
yconnectstothecar
’sBluet
ooth.

Danny:“
Dani
elMabuzahel
lo.
”Il
aughbecausehi
s
voi
ceissomanly.
Me:“Dannyit’
sBlue.
”Hescr eamssol
oudt
hat
Thobekastar
tslaughi
ng.ZamohandMabuthoal
so
j
oinher.“
Pleasestopscreaming.
”
Danny:“
bit
chyouf
inal
lygotr
eleased?
”
Me:“
yep.
”

Danny:“
Iam happyf
oryou.
”
Me:“
soam I
.”
Danny:“
whenam Iseei
ngyou?
”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“r
ememberwhenIt
oldyouhowbusymyl
if
e
canbe?”
Danny:“
yeah,
yeah.Ihavet
obet
heonevi
sit
ing
you.
”
Me:“yeahbabeyouaremoret
hanwel
come.Iwi
ll
havearoom readyf
oryou.
”
Danny:“
Ihaveaweekendbaecati
onwithAf
eeand
wearecomingther
etoDurban.MaybeIwil
lcheck
uponyouormaybewecanmeetf orl
unchbutyou
wil
lhavetobr
ingadate.
”Ichuckl
e.

Me:“
youknowIhavenoonebabes.
”
Danny:“
howaboutt
hathunkyhunk,
thepr
ince?
”I
l
augh.
Me:“
remembert
hedramathathappenedt
hel
ast
t
imewedinedwi
tht
heZuluroyal
s?”

Danny:“I
twil
lbediff
erentthisti
me.Wewi l
lbe
dressedappr
opri
atel
y.”Il
aughathi slastsent
ence
becauseIcansensethatitisful
lofsarcasm.
Me:“
Iwil
lseebabes.Chatl
ater
,Iam of
ftoa
meet
ing.
”
Danny:“onaSaturdaynogal
?That
’swhyyou’
re
si
ngle.
”Ilaughagain.

Me:“
fuckof
fdude.
”Ihangup.
Thobeka:“
hei
snoi
siert
hanLi
ndsay.
”Il
augh.
Zamoh:“butLindsayi
smoretroubl
esomeyoh.He
oncecl
aimedmeashi sbaebecauseIwasaski
ng
outagi
rlthathesupposedl
yhavebeefwit
h.”Weall
l
aughathim.
.
.
Wegett oNt uzumaandf indZahal readyatthesai
d
l
ocat i
on.Shei sstandingwi t
hamanwhol ooks
ratherold,l
ikei nhisearlyfort
ies.Hei srat
herol
d
forthisdramahei scausi ngyazi.Wecl imboffthe
carandheadt owher etheyarest anding.

Me:“gooddaygoodpeopl
e.”Theyt
urnt
oour
di
rect
ion.
Man:“
wowf i
nal
ly,
hermajest
ydecidestograceus
wi
thherpr
esence.
”Hesayssarcasti
cal
ly.

Me:“youarerathert
oooldforthedr
amayou’ r
e
causi
ng.I’
dsuggestyoulosetheatt
itudeyouhave
andwest ar
tourmeet i
ngbecauseit
’sSaturdayand
weallhavebett
erthi
ngstodo.”Helosesthe
att
it
udeandr el
axedabit.

Het el
lsmewhatexact l
yhewant s.Heisa
gynecol ogi
stsohewant st obuil
dapr act
iceherei
n
Ntuzuma.Hef inishestel
lingmewhathei s
expectingandourmeet i
ngcomest oanend.
Accordingt othesi t
e,Icanseet hatwewillhaveto
goupbecauset hereisn’
tmuchspacet omaket he
surgerywi de.Whenwear edoneweheadour
separateways.Doi ngthisisgoingtobeeasy.I
wonderwhyhewassodr amat i
caboutit.
.
.
Thefeeli
ngofbei nghome, bei
ngsur roundedby
peopleyoulove,peoplewhoknowyou, knowyour
highsandlowsi sthebest.Mom evencookedmy
favor
itewhichisujeqenombont shisi(andcooked
beans).Il
ovethatmeal .I
t’
sjustthatIneverfind
ti
met ocookit.Ialsoknowhowt ocook.Byt heway
Iam herewithmyguar dsandLel e.

Xoliisspendingtherestoftheweekendwi t
h
Phumudzo.Theyar esayingtheypost ponedt he
negotiat
ionsbecauseIwasn’ therebutt heyar e
happeningnextweekend.Mydadi ssof ondof
Mabut hoandZamoh.Hebasi callyt r
eat
st hem li
ke
hissons.Rightnowt heyareal li
nt hegarage
l
isteningtohisobsessionwithcar s.Iam goingt o
buyhi m amustangonhi sbirthdaybecauseIknow
heisgoi ngtoenj
oyhavi ngit.

Iam withmymom, ThandoandThobekaandwe

areprepar
ingt
hetabl
e.Wehavedishedupand
mom sendsThandotogocallt
hemenout si
de.She
hasreall
ywarmeduptome.Sheevencal l
smesi si
.
Ireal
lywonderwhatt
heproblem i
nthebegi
nning
was.IwishIcanbeami ndreaderandbeabl
et o
readBusi’
smindsothatIcanknowwhatexactly
herprobl
em i
s.

Mom:“
sowhat
’snextf
oryoubaby?
”
Me:“youwil
lhavet
owai
tli
keever
yonet
ofi
ndout
.”
shechuckl
es.
Mom:“ chi
ldIwaitedfor9mont hstoseeyouand
thatwastort
ure.Ican’twai
tforli
keanybodyel
seto
knowaboutyourl i
fe.
”
Me:“theblackmai
lai
n’tgonnawor
kmommy.
”
Thobekalaughs.

Mom:“ makot
iyoushouldn’
tbel
aughingatyour
motherinl
awi fyouwannabeonhergoodbooks.”
Thobekachokesonhersali
vaandstart
scoughi
ng.
Il
augh.Sij
abuli
leissocl
ever
.
Thobeka:“
Idon’
tknowwhatyouar
etal
kingabout
ma.
”
Mom:“ honeyIwasn’tbornyester
dayandIdotal
k
tomyson.Hespi l
ledt hebeansaboutyour
rel
ati
onship.Whatyouhavet oknowisthathel
oves
yousomuchandher eall
ywantstomeetyour
daughter
.”

Thobeka:“Idon’
tthi
nkherfat
herisgoingtolikethat
ma.Hei sveryhardheadedandifhewer etofind
outthatIhavemovedon, hewil
lfi
lef
orf ul
lcustody
ofmydaught er.
”Shesaysandtearsjustfal
lfrom
hereyes.Mom hugsher.
Mom:“
honeywehavethebestl
awyer
sinthef
ami
ly.
I
fhewant
salegalwar
,heisgoi
ngtogeti
t.
”

Thobeka:“heisgoingtousemypr ofessi
onagainst
memama.Heal wayssayst hat
.Hesaysmy
prof
essionisverydangerousandmydaught eris
notsafewithme.”Thandomakesherwayi nwith
themenandThobekaqui ckl
ywipeshertearsbut
sheistoolatebecauseLelehasalr
eadyseent hem.
Her
ushest
ohersi
de.
Lel
e:“
whati
swr
ongMaNgwenya?
”
Thobeka:“nothi
ng.Futhywasjusttel
li
ngusfunny
st
ori
est hathappenedatther
etreatandyouknow
howIlaughunt i
lIcry.
”

Lel
e:“goodexcuse.Mom, dadwewil
lber
ight
back.”Hesayspull
ingThobekaandt
heyhead
upstair
s.
Mom:“ ever
yoneelsecansi tdownsot
hatwecan
st
arteati
ng.”Theyallsi
t.ZamoandMabutho’
seyes
ar
eonme.
Mabut
ho:“
whati
swr
ongwi
thThobekaboss?
”I
si
gh.

Me:“wewi l
ltal
kathome. ”Theynodandstart
eat
ing.Af
terafewmi nutes,ThobekaandLel
ecome
downstai
rsandt heyj
oinusont hetabl
e.Sheseems
muchbetter.
Gci
no:“
Ireal
lycan’
tbel
ieveyouar
efi
nal
lydat
ing
hi
m sisThobeka.Imeanyoulef
tthemor
e
handsomebrotherandset
tl
edfor…ei
sh.
”Weal
ljust
l
augh.

Lele:“youar
enotgoingtogetthemoneythatyou
requestedGcinoandIam goi
ngt omakesurethat
sisiFuthyal
sodoesn’tgi
veyou.”
Gcino:“
don’tl
ett
hedeviluseyoubrother
.It
’sme,
youronlybrot
her
.Ifyoudon’tspendyourmoneyon
me, whoareyougoingtospenditon?”
Lel
e:“br
oIhaveagi
rl
fr
iendwhom Ineedt
ospoi
l
rot
tensomymoneywon’tgotowaste.
”

Me:“can’
tbeli
evedadislett
ingthesetwospeak
aboutgir
lf
ri
endsjustl
ikethat.
”dadlaughs.
Dad:“
theyhaveforgot
tenthatIal
sokeepa
sj
ambokunderthistable.
”Mom laughs.
Lele:“
dadwear ejustj
oking.ThobekaandIarejust
fr
iends.”Thobekachuckl
esandweal ljustl
augh.
Dad:“Iam goi
ngtocutyousomesl ackbecause
Thobekaisagoodgirlandsheisgoingtobeagood
i
nfluenceonyou.I
fyouhurtherIam goingtobreak
yourjaws.
”
Lel
e:“
shouldn’
tyoubethr
eat
eni
ngherasmy
par
ent?”dadchuckl
es.

Dad:“
no.yoursi
ster
swi
lldot
hat
.”
Thando:“
Iwoul
dn’tevendr
eam ofthr
eat
eni
nga
womanwhocarriesweaponseveryti
me.
”Weal
l
l
augh.
Bei
ngathomeisver
yni
ceandcomfort
ingreal
ly.
Homeiswher
ethehear
tis.Andmyhearti
swhere
myparent
sar
e.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
05] :BONUSCHAPTER
CHAPTER50

Imetupwi thMvel oandSandi letwodays.We

talkedaboutal otofthi
ngsbutIf i
nallyl
etthem free
andt oldthem thatther
ewon’ tbeanyt hingthatwill
happenbet weenus.Ial soapol ogizedtothem.I
alsotoldSandileaboutmesl eepingwi t
hKuhl e.I
j
ustdi dn’
twanthi mt ofeelbadaboutcheat ingon
mebecauseIal socheatedonhi m.Hewasf uri
ous,
hest ormedoutoft herestaurant.Buthecameback
anhourl aterandaccept edmyapol ogy.

Wear esupposedtobegoingtoLibyaintwoweeks.
Iam wit
hAr i
aandZahi nmyof f
iceandtheyare
busysearchi
ngfortheaccommodat i
on.Iwasso
str
essedaboutwhatIwasgoi ngtowearatthe
ceremonybutIrecei
vedacallfr
om Simamiso.She
saidshesawonmyi nt
ervi
ewsthatIam at
tending
awards.Sheaskedifshecoul
ddesigntheperfect
dressforme.Iwasjusthappyt
hatsomeonecame
tomyr escue.Shesai
dsheisgoingtobri
ngthe
dressnextMonday.

Ari
a:“
Iam fi
ndi
ngCorint
hiaHot
el.Ij
ustneedto
knowthenumberofpeoplewhoaregoingther
e.”
Zah:“
fuck,
Radi
ssonBl
uisfull
ybooked.Howmany
peopl
earegoi
ngwit
hyou,boss?”
Me:“myparent
s,myt
hreeguar
ds,
youguys,
Danny
andKuhl
e.”

Ari
a:“soi
t’
s10peopl
e?”Inod.Zaht
apsonheri
Pad
andturnt
ome.
Zah:“
act
ual
lytheAAAsortedoutyour
accommodat
ion.Foryouandfi
veotherpeopl
e.”
Me:“owwwowokay.Myr entswithDannyand
Kuhl
ewillhavetosortouttheiraccommodati
onbut
youcancheckifspaceisstil
lavailabl
eatt
he
Cor
int
hiaHot
elAr
ia.
”

Zah:“
docheckandthenIwil
lsendthem ever
y
det
ail
ssothatt
heycansecurethei
rrooms.”
Me:“pl
easebutti
cketsforthem.Ineedt ocheck
KuhlebutIwi
llgotohisoffi
cetomorrow.”Zah’s
phoneri
ngsandshel eavestoanswerit.Shecomes
backaft
erafewmi nutes.

Zah:“
ther
eisaLuf
unowhoi
sher
etoseeyou,
boss.
”
Me:“f
inal
ly.Goandmeetupwi t
hherandt akeher
toHR.shewi l
lbewor kingattheint
eri
ordesigning
depar
tment.Ilovedherwor ksomuch.I t
’sunique
andoutofthisworld.IthasthatAfr
icantouchthat
canmakeyouf eel
athome, evenifyouarenotat
home.”

Ar
ia:“
homeawayf
rom homet
ypeoft
hing?
”Il
augh.
Me:“
yes.
”
Zah:“okay.Iwi
llcomebacki
naf
ew.
”Sheheads
out.
.
.
*
**XOLI
***
Havingabossl ikeFut hyi ssoawesome.Shegave
met helongweekendof fsot hatIcanpreparefor
thelobolanegotiat
ionswhi charetakingplacethis
weekend.Iam theonewhot alkedtoSimami so
aft
ershet ol
dFut hyshewi llbedesigningherdress.
SoIboughtherheel s,jewelryandpur sewhichshe
wil
lpairwiththedress.Il eftthosethingsont opof
herbedbecauseIl ef taftershehadgonet owor k.

Phumudzobei ngtheovercar i
ngandover
protect
ivefiancét
hathei s,hehashi r
edadr i
verf
or
mewhot akesmewher everIwannago.Atf ir
stwe
arguedaboutt hi
sbutatt heendoft heday,hi
swor d
wast helaw.Ihaveal otofmoneyf r
om mybank
accountwhi chwasmysal arysinceIhardl
yuseit
foranything.Ther
eisalsomoneyt hatPhumudzo
deposi
tedi
nmyaccount
,hecal
lsi
ta‘
fi
ancé
al
lowance’
.Dr
ama.

Itellthedr i
vertodr i
vetoUMl azitopickupmy
cousi n,Thelumusa, whoisthedaught erofmy
mot her’soldersister.Shehasat winandhi sname
i
sNkosi .Sot ogethertheyar eiNkosiiThelumusa.
Theygot ot heZionchur ch.Ther eisthissayingthat
Zionpeopl esaywhent heyar eaboutt ositdown
afterpreachi ngwhi chis‘i
nkosiithelumusa’.Idon’t
knowwhati tmeansbutaunt ienamedt hem that
becauset heyareherl astkids.Maybeshewas
i
ndi cati
ngt hatshei sdonegi vingbirth.

WegettoUMl aziandfindheral
readywaiti
ngwith
herbagsatthegate.Lolshecanbecrazy.She
knowsifIgeti
nsidetogreetauntyIwi
llneverl
eave
becausesheisaradiogogo.Icli
mboffthecarand
weexchangegreetingsandhugs.

Me:“
youdon’
twantmet
ogr
eether
?Youknowhow
sheisgoi
ngtomakeitseem l
ikeIam disr
espect
ful
whensheist
ell
ingmom thatIdidn’
tevengreet
her
.”Shehuf
fs.

Thel
u:“f
inebuttellhert
hatyouarenotstayi
ng.”I
l
aughandwebot hheadinsi
de.TheminuteIseeher
shestar
tsulul
ati
ngandshower smewi thhugsand
ki
sses.Gosh.Weexchangegr eet
ingsandsitdown.
Aunty:“
Musagomaket eaforyoursist
er.Al
sotake
thesconesont
opofthefri
dge.”Ihavetostopher
nowbecauseshewon’tst
opt al
king.

Me:“aunti
eIam meeti
ngmyf iancéi
ntown.Ihave
tohurr
ybecauseheisleavi
ngt ohi
shometownin
anhour.Ther
eissomethingthathewant
stogive
me.”

Aunty:“
okaybutyouhavet otakesconesandgive
them t
oyourmother.Ibakedthem especi
all
yfor
her.
”Theyaresoclose,you’
dsweart heyar
ealways
toget
her.Whenevermom i
sbackf r
om thenavy,
theyal
waysspendt i
medoinglunchesand
shoppingspr
eesandgossipi
ng.

Me:“okayaunt
ie.
”Shegoestotheki
tchenand
comesbackwiththebowlandhandsittome.I
standupandwehugagain.
Aunt
y:“
Iwi
llseeyouguysonFr
iday.
”
Thel
u:“
byema.
”

Weheadout .Wegett othecarandt hedri

veropens
thedoorforme.Icl imbinsi
deandhecl osesit.
Thel ur
ushest ot hefrontsi
tandgetssettl
ed
withoutsayinganyt hing.Ij
ustchuckleandtellt
he
drivert
odrivet ot own.Wegett otownandThel u
l
eadsmet ot hisAf r
icanbouti
que.Webuyadr ess
withanAnkar apr i
ntwhichisyell
owandbl ack.We
thenbuyamat chingdoek.

Whenwear
edoneweheadt
ogat
ewaywher
ewe
buyblacksandals.Phelathisi
snotaf ormal
occasion.Justamalobolosotherei snoneedf or
highheels.Whenwear edonewegot oli
quorstore
tobuybooze.Wewi l
lbuyt hegroceriestomorrow.
Whenwear edonebuyingboozewegol oaditi
nthe
carandgot oNandosf orlatel
unch.Whi lewait
ing
forourorderIseePhumudzo, PhilaandPhi wa
makingt hei
rwayinsideNandos.Ij ustchuckle.
Surel
yhi sdri
vert
oldhim wher eIam at .Theygetto
ourtableandtheyfi
rstgreetThelu.Shedoesn’ t
knowwhot hesemenar eandhasneverseenmy
fi
ancé.

Phumudzo:“
rat
olaka.
”Ismil
eandlookathi
m.He
si
tsdownnextt
omeandki ssesmycheek.
Phi
wa:“don’tst
oponouraccount ,weknowyou
weregoi
ngt okissherl
ips.
”Hesayswhi leheand
hi
stwinsitdownonei t
hersidesofTheluwhois
dumbstr
uck.Ijustl
aughandhechuckl es.

Phumudzo:“
Iam r
espect
ingmyi
n-l
aw.Iam
Phumudzobythewayandyoumustbe
Thelumusa.
”Hesaysext
endi
nghi
shand.Thel
u
shakesit
.
Thel
u:“
youar
ethef
iancé?
”
Phumudzo:“
yesIam.
”
Thel
u:“
yourf
acei
sfami
li
ar.
”

Phi
la:“
Iam sur
eyouhaveseenhi
m somewher
e
dar
li
ng.Heisabusi
nessman.”
Phiwa:“
byt
hewayIam Phi
waandIam nobody’
s
fi
ancésomaybewecantr
y.”
Phi
la:“
nobrot
her,
Isawherfi
rst
.”Theycont
inue
ar
guingandwejustl
aughatt
hem.
.
.
*
**NARRATED*
**
Pri
nceKuhl ewassit
ti
nginhisstudyathishouse.
Helivedi
nMhl angaRocks.Heisanappdevel oper
sowast r
yingtofi
xanappt hathadgli
tches.I
twas
l
aunchingi naweeksoi thadtobeperf
ect.He
knowst hathisfami
lyi
sr i
ch,hedoesn’
tneedto
wor kbutcreati
ngappsishisthi
ng.Thedoorofhis
studyopenedandhi syoungersist
erwal
kedin.she
i
sahacker , t
hebesti
nthecountrybutshechooses
toremainanonymousbecauseshecaneasi l
yget
kil
ledbecauseofherskill
s.

ShelivesinEcuadorbecauseshei srunningaway
fr
om f amil
ydramaandshemayormayhavenot
creat
edher selfdangerousenemies.Shecomest o
SouthAf r
icaonlyifit’
simport
ant.Herbrotherst
ood
upandat tackedherwi thahug.Theyarever ycl
ose.
Shesatonherbr other’
schai
randhesatont he
desk.

Kuhl
e:“
sowhatbr
ingsyout
oSout
hAf
ri
ca?
”
Pri
ncessLi
sakhanya:“
your
emembert
hatapp
devel
operGar
ry?”
Kuhl
e:“
theonewhoal
waysdevel
opsl
ameapps
andal
waystryi
ngt
ost
ealmyappsandact
ual
ly
succeededi
nst
eal
ing3oft
hem?
”
Li
sa:“yes.Ihaver
ecentl
ydiscover
edt
hathei
syour
babydaddy.”Kuhl
efrowned.

Kuhl
e:“
what
?”
Lisa:“noImeanal lyour‘supposedkids’ar
ehis.He
andSt habil
ear eani t
em.Havebeensi ncethe
beginningoft i
me. ”Kuhlestoodupandwentt osit
ont hecouchsot hathecoul dli
ebackandpr ocess
thesenewst hathissist
eriscomi ngwith.Heknew
thathissisterishardlyinthecountrysoifshe
comest ohim, i
tmustbebecauset hisisseri
ous
andi mportant.

Kuhl
e:“
whatar
eyout
ryi
ngt
osayLi
sakhanya?
”
Li
sa:“t
hatbothAmahl eandZweli
banziar
en’tyour
ki
ds.Thisbi
tchactual
lyusedyoutosecurethebag
andsecureherki
ds’futur
eandalsofame.”
Kuhl
e:“
howdi
dyouf
indout
?”
Lisa:“Iact
uallyhackedherInstagram.Sheknows
thatifyouwer etobesuspiciousofheryou’dgot o
What sApp,textmessagesorcal ll
ogf orevi
dence.
Sheknowst hatyou’dneverthi
nkofI nstagr
am
DMs. ”
Kuhl
e:“
sot
heyar
est
il
ldat
ing?
”

Lisa:“
andverymuchinl
ove.Rememberthe
vacati
onshewenttowit
hherfri
endi
nMadagascar
?
Itwasactual
lyar
omanti
cgetaway.Mostoft
he
vacati
onsshegoestowit
houtyouar
eromanti
c
getawayswit
hherbabydaddy.
”

Kuhle:“areyout
ryi
ngtosaythatsheneverloved
me?Al lthi
swasjustagamet oher?Shewas
pret
ending?”heaskedgett
ingupset.“
Howcome
noneoft heseki
dsaremine?Ihaveneverhad
prot
ectedsexwithher.
”

Li
sa:“
shewasal
wayscar
eful
wit
hyou.Butshehad
tofal
lpr
egnantbecauseshecoul
dn’
tall
owhersel
f
tobecal
ledinf
ert
il
ebythefamil
y.Shedidwhatshe
hadtodo.”

Kuhle:“
Ican’
tbeli
evet his.Ican’tbel
ievet
his.”He
keptonrepeat
ingthesamewor dswhi l
epacingup
anddown.Lisaknewt hatt hiswouldbehisr eacti
on
soshecamepr epared.Shet ookoutasedativefrom
herbackpackandinjectedhi m ontheneck.Hef ell
downandi twasli
ghtsout .
.
.
*
**KUHLE*
**
Iwakeupwi thaheavyhead.Iam gl adIam awake.
Ijusthadthi
scrazynightmarewher eIfoundout
thatmykidsaren’
tactuallymine.Ser vesmer i
ght
forfal
li
ngasleepdur
ingt heday.Il ooknexttome
andIf r
ownwhenIseet hatt
hewomanwhoi s
sleepi
ngnexttomeisn’tmywi fe.Ilookcaref
ull
y
andwhenIseet hati
t’
smysi stermyeyespopout .
SoIwasn’ tdreaming.Shewasr eallyhereandshe
camet otellmethetruthaboutmybabi es’
paterni
ty.
Ireal
lydon’tknowhowt oreacttothesenews.Iget
upf r
om thebedandgosi tonthecouchwi t
hmy
phoneonmyhand.Al lmylifeIhavenever
i
magi nedmybabi esnotbei ngmine.Butwhy
Sthabil
e?Whydi dyouhavet odomel i
kethis?

Tearsfal
lfrom myeyesandIdon’ tbotherwiping
them.IopenmyphoneandIdi eat housanddeat hs
asmywal lpapercomest odisplay.It
’saphot oof
Sthabi
leandmybabi es.Theytookitwhent hey
wereinavacat i
oninDr akensburg.Sthabi
leisgoing
topayforthis.Iopenmyphoneandcal lmyhuman
diar
y,apersonwhom Iknowwi l
lalwaysbet here
formeandwi l
ldropeverythi
ngtobebymysi de
whenthingsgosout h.Heanswer simmediately.

Dad:“
sonIam i
nameeti
ng,canyoucal
lmelat
er?
”
Ij
ustrel
easeal
oudsobandhekeepsqui
et
i
mmedi
atel
y.
Me:“
Ineedyoudad.
”
Dad:“okayson.Don’
tcr
y.Iwi
llbet
her
einaf
ew
hours.
”Inod.
Me:“
okaydad.
”Ihangupandwi
pemyt
ear
s.

Aper sonwhodoesn’ tknowmemi ghtbesur pr

ised
bymyr eacti
on.Idon’ thaveangeri ssues.WhenI
am facedwi thasi tuat i
onwhichIcan’ tseeto
handle,Idon’tgoar ounddestroyingfurnitur
e.When
i
t’spersonallikethis, Iall
owmysel ftofeelthepain
andact uall
ycr ybecausemyf at
hersai dthatit
’s
okayt obevul nerableandt or
eleasethepai n
throughshowi ngdi fferentemotions.Het oldme
thatImust n’
tt r
yt obest r
ongorignoret hepain
hopingt hati
twi l
lgoaway.

Igotot
hebathr
oom, takeof
fmyclothesandget
i
nsidet
heshower.Iopenthecol
dwat erandj
ust
al
lowmysel
ftocry.I
magesofmel aughingand
havingfunwithmyki dsfl
ashinmymi nd.St
habil
e
i
sonebr avewoman.Howcoul dheal
lowmet o
i
ntroducemychi l
drentoourancestor
sknowing
verywellt
hattheyaren’tmine?Sheknowsverywell
howpower fulr
oyalancestorsare.

IhavebeenwithSt habi
leformoret han10year s
andIcan’tbel
ievesheactuallydidn’
tlovemef oral
l
thi
st i
me.Wowwomenar eclevercreatur
es.How
canyousleepwi t
hyourboyf ri
end’senemyf or10+
years?Whatkindofaboyf ri
endcanal lowyout odo
that
?

Sthabil
eandGar rydeserveeachother.Iam happy
thatsheisn’there.Shewentt ovisi
therparentsand
theywillbecomi ngbackaf tert
woweeks.NowI
knowt hattheremi ghtbeapossibil
it
ythatshei s
withGar r
yandt heyar eplayi
nghappyf amil
ywi t
h
thei
rkids.Fuck,myhear thurt
s.I
tfeel
sl i
keithas
beenrippedr i
ghtoutofmychest .
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby

SEEYOUAFTERMYEXAMS
[
03/
09,
08:
06] :SPONSOREDCHAPTER
CHAPTER51

*
**KUHLE*
**

WhenIam doneshower i
ng,
Iwearmyvestwi th
sweatpantsandsocksandthenheaddownst ai
rs.I
don’
tbotherwaki ngupLi
sabecausether
eisa
possi
bili
tythatshehasn’
tsl
eptforaweek.When
sheisinvesti
gati
ngsomethi
ng,shedoesn’
ttake
l
ong.Shesleepswhenshei sdonewi t
hthat
i
nvest
igat
ion,evenifi
ttakesherdays.Imakeacup
ofcof
feeformyselfandheadt ot
helounge.

Isi
tdownandj ustdrinkmycof f
ee.That’
sanother
thi
ngaboutme.WhenIam angr yorsad,Ipref
er
coff
eenotalcohol.Hour slaterand4cupsofcof fee
l
ater,t
hefrontdooropensandheavyf ootst
eps
maket hei
rwayt othel ounge.Iraisemyheadtosee
dadstandinginthedoor way.Hef rownswhenhe
seesmyf ace.Het akesof fhiscoatandcomet osit
nexttome.

Ilaymyheadonhi slapandst artsobbingloudly.

Hedoesn’tsayanythi
ng,hej ustbr ushesmyback
l
ightl
y.Aft
erafewmi nutes,Ist opcryingandby
nowIalreadyhavehiccups.Isi tupandwi pemy
eyes.Helooksatmehopi ngt hatIcanst ar
ttalking.

Me:“
mywhol emar r
iagehasbeenaliedad.
St
habi
ledoesn’
tloveme.Amahl eandZweli
banzi
arenotmyki ds.Shehasbeenf ool
ingmef oral
l
theseyears.Ir
eall
ycan’tbel
ieveher.Iguess
Zwelibanzil
ooksli
kemebecausehi smotherhat
ed
mewhi l
eshewaspr egnantwithhi
m. ”
Dad:“
howdi
dyouf
indoutaboutt
his?
”

Li
sa:“
IthoughtIhear
dvoi
ces.
”Shesaysstandi
ng
att
hedoorwayyawning.“
Hidaddy.
”Hetur
nst o
l
ookather.
Dad:“
heypr
odi
galdaught
er.
”Shechuckl
es.

Li
sa:“
shoul
dIcooksomet
hingf
ordi
nner
?”
Dad:“don’
tbot
her.Idon’
twantyoucooking
soft
wareanddesktopsforus.
”LisaandIboth
l
augh.Dadcanbecr azysometimesbutheisright
.
Theonlythi
ngthatLisaknowsarecomputers.I
doubtsheevenknowhowt of
ryanegg.

Li
sa:“
givemet
hebenef
itoft
hedoubtdad.
”
Dad:“goandfreshenup.Yourot
herbr
otheri
s
comingwithourdinner
.”
Li
sa:“
okay.
”Sheheadsupst
air
s.
Dad:“
IguessIknowt
hehowoft
hest
orynow.
”I
nod.“
Butwhy?”

Me:“Garr
y,whoi sSthabi
le’
sbabydaddyi sanapp
devel
oper.Sthabi
lehashelpedhim stealt
hreeof
myappsbef oreIcouldevenlaunchthem.Thatwas
oneofthereasonswhyshedat edandmar ri
edme.
Thesecondonei ssecuri
ngthebag. ”

Dad:“
whatdoyouwannadoaboutt
hisi
ssue?
”
Me:“Ireal
lywanttokil
lherbutIdon’
twantt
hekids
tosuff
er.Eventhoughtheyarenotmine,
Ist
il
llove
andcareforthem.”

Dad:“
whatar
eyougoi
ngt
odot
hen?
”
Me:“
fi
rstt
hingsf
ir
st,
Iam di
vor
cingSt
habi
leandI
wannabani shherf rom Nongoma.Shei sn’
tgoi
ngto
getacentfrom me.Lucki lyImarri
edheroutof
communi t
yofpr opert
y.Ijustwannagetsomeone
whowillbet heguar di
anandcar egi
veroftheki
ds,
whom Iwilltrustwiththekids’moneybecauseI
wannacont inuemai ntai
ningthem.”

Dad:“youareagoodmansonandIam pr oudt obe

yourdad.Iwil
lfi
ndthatsomeonewhowi l
lbethe
caregi
ver.Whenareyouservi
ngthepapers?
”

Me:“ Iam goi

ngt omeetupwi thmylawyerandhave
him drawupt hepapers.Iwil
lstri
pherof feventhe
carsandt hecards.Shehasbeenusi ngmeasa
walkingATM f orf
artoolong.Letmej ustfreezeher
cardsr i
ghtnow.”Itakemyphoneandf reezeher
cardsinstant
ly.Dadchuckles.“Howlongar eyou
goingt obehere?”

Dad:“
Iam goi
ngt
oleaveSundayaf
ter
noon.
”
Me:“
whatwer
eyoudoi
ngwhenIcal
ledyou?
”
Dad:“wasinthemiddl
eofthesi
ll
yconfl
ictabout
thesebrot
hersfr
om Mtubawhoarefi
ghti
ngf ort
he
chief
tai
ncy.”

Me:“whywoul
dtheyf
ightf
ori
t?I
sn’
tthef
ir
stson
ent
it
led?
”
Dad:“ wellthefir
stsonisanex-
convictandheis
alsohalfr oyalt
yalsohi
smotherwasn’tmar r
iedt
o
thechief.Thesecondsoni safullbl
oodandhehas
a‘cleanrecor d’
.”Hesaysusi
ngairquotes.Ij
ust
chuckle.

Me:“
soyouendedupnotsol
vingi
t?”
Dad:“yes.Youneededme.ButIwasal
sowithyour
uncl
esoIl efthi
m.Youknowhowhisprobl
em-
sol
vingskil
lsare.
”

Me:“
youdi
dwel
l.
”
Dad:“
wellt
hankyouyourmaj
est
y.”Hesays
sar
casti
cal
lyandwebothl
augh.
.
.
Sbocomeswi t
hdi nnerandweal lsitar
oundt he
tabl
eandeat .Dadt ell
shim aboutthecurr
ent
sit
uati
on.Sboi sanopposi teofmeandhet endsto
dothingswithoutthinking.Hehasangerissues.He
maybef unnyandal lbutheisveryviol
entandcan
bedangerous.Mom al wayssaythatour
personal
it
iesswitchedbecauseIwast heonewho
wassupposedt obel i
kehim.

Dadcal mshi m downandmakeshi m seereason.

Luckil
yhecal msdownandr elaxesbutheendsup
sayingSthabileisgoingtopay, onewayort heot her
.
Hedoesn’ tcarehowhewi l
l.Iknowwel l
thanto
arguewi t
hhim soIj ustkeepmymout hshut.Idon’t
knowhowwear egoi ngtotellthewhol efamily
aboutthis.Mysecondandt hirdmot herdon’
tlike
Sthabil
esoIam pr ettysuretheyar egoi ngtobe
happy.

Myownmot hertoler
at esherbutyouwi l
lneversee
them havi
nglunchesorshoppi ngspreestogether
,
bondinganddoingal lthemot heri
nlawand
daughteri
nlawki ndoft hings.Myyoungersister
from mysecondmot her ,dadhasf i
vewivesbyt he
way,sheisoneoft hef ewpeopl ei
nmyf amil
ywho
genuinel
ycaresforSt habile.I
fIweretotake
anotherwif
e,Iam sur eshewoul dn’
tbeaf an.
.
.
*
**FUTHY*
**
IgettoKuhle’
sofficeandwhenhi sPAt ell
smet hat
heisnotcomi ngtowor ktowor ktoday,Iaskforhis
homeaddr ess.Shedoesn’ tgi
vemeanyhassl es,
shejustgi
vemet headdress.Zamohdr i
vesme
ther
e.Thisti
mear oundIj ustboughtaSpurmeat
plat
ter
.Wegett oKuhl e’
shouseandt heguardsjust
l
etmei nwithoutaskingquest i
ons.Icli
mbof fthe
carandheadt othefrontdoorwi t
ht heplatt
erinmy
ar
ms.Inmyot herhand,
Iam car
ryi
ngapl
ast
icwi
th
j
uiceandchocolat
e.

Iri
ngthedoor bel
landaf ewsecondsl aterheopens
thedoor
.Okaysomet hingi swr ongbecausehe
doesn’
tlookliketheKuhleIknow.Hi seyesar e
puff
yredwhi chindicatest hathehasbeencr yi
ng.I
wonderwhati swr ong.Iloveandcar eabouthim so
seei
nghimi nt hi
sstatebr eaksmyhear t.

Kuhle:“Ial
readyknowthatyouareher
etoaskfora
favour.
”Hesayssmi l
ingandtaki
ngthepl
atterf
rom
myhands.Het ur
nstoheadinsi
deandIfol
lowhim.
Me:“youknowwhatt heysay, t
hewayt oaman’ s
hearti
sthr
oughhisstomach. ”Hel eadsmetothe
ki
tchenandplacest
hepl at
teront hecount
er.Ial
so
pl
acetheplasti
conthecount er.

Kuhl
e:“
youal
readyhavemyheartdon’
twor
ry.
”I
pl
acemybaginthecount
erandgohughim.He
hugsmebackt
ight
ly.
Me:“
youwannat
alkabouti
t?”heshakeshi
shead.

Kuhl
e:“
notnow.ButIam r
eal
lygladt
oseeyou.You
bei
ngherei
nmyar mshealsme.”Imeltl
ikebut
ter
i
nhisarms.Ibr
eakthehugandlookathi
m.
Me:“
you’
real
one?
”

Kuhle:“noIhaveguestsbutIam sur etheywi l

llove
tomeetyou. ”Hesayst akingmyhandandl eading
met owhatIt hi
nkisthel ounge.Myt hr
oatgoesdr y
whenIseet heki
ngsitt
ingt herewit
hal i
tt
legirland
Sbo.Idon’tcareaboutt hetwootherpeoplethatar e
wit
hhi m.Iam justembar rassedbywhatt r
anspi r
ed
atLimpopo.Theyal lt
urnt olookatus,me
specif
ical
ly.HesmilesandIj ustlookdown.

King:
“MaCel
ewhatapleasuret
oseeyouagai
n.”I
rai
semyheadandlookathim.
Me:“
hiyourmaj
est
y.”Hel
aughs.
Ki
ng:
“cal
lmedad.
”

Me:“myfatheri
sver
yjeal
ousoft
hatname.
”he
chuckl
es.
Ki
ng:
“cal
lmebabat
hen.
”
Me:“that
’sdoabl
e.”Kuhl
eleadsmet oat
woseat
er
couch.HesitsdownandIsitnextt
ohim.

Kuhl
e:“
Iam st
il
lst
uckont
heagai
npar
t.
”
Sbo:“
meandyoubot
hbr
other
.”

King:“
rememberthatmeeti
ngyourbrot
her’
sandI
wentinLimpopo?That’
swhereImether.Shewas
withherf
riend,
Daniel
.Howareyoufeel
ing?”he
asksandIknowhei saski
ngabouttheantsissue.
Me:“Iam wel
lbaba.What
evert
hatmani
nasui
t
gavemereall
yhelped.
”
King:“
hesai
dyouwil
lhavet
oappeaset
he
ancest
orswi
thagoatf
orswear
ingathi
mthatday.
”
Myeyespopout.
Me:“
isn’
tthatabi
text
reme?
”hel
aughs.
Li
tt
legi
rl
:“cansomeonepleasetel
luswhatus
goi
ngon?”shesaysinaratherstr
ongvoi
ce.

King:“
wemetatal odgeinLimpopo.Theywer e
i
ntoxi
cated.Theywantedtoeatbr
eakfastther
ebut
thehostesschasedt
hem awaybecauset heywere
baref
oot.”
Kuhl
e:“
whywer
eyouguysbar
efoot
?”
Me:“
wehadbeenwear
ingheel
sthewhol
eni
ght
.”
Henods.

King:“somysonsdi smissedthehost
essandasked
forat abl
e.Iorderedthem toj
oinus.MaCel
e
orderedjuice.Whent hedri
nkscame,shepoured
herjuiceintheglassbutwhenshedr anki
t,l
et’
sjust
sayithadf ir
eants.Mt hembugaveheraporti
on
andshesaidifsomethinghappenstoherbecause
ofthepor
tion,
shewilldosomethingbadt o
Mthembu.”Theyalll
aughandIj ustcovermyface
wit
hmyhands.

Lit
tl
egirl
:“youar
ebrave.Iam Lisabyt hewayand
don’ti
ntr
oduceyour
self.Ialr
eadyknowyou.Iam
theonewhomadet hatpicturegoaway. ”Shesays
l
ookingatmeandIal r
eadyknowt hatsheistal
king
aboutthenude.
Me:“
thankyou.
”

Li
sa:“
youaremybr ot
her’
sladyfr
iendsoyouar
e
pr
acti
cal
lyf
amil
y.”Ichuckl
eattheladyf
ri
endpart
.
Sbo:“
Iam sur
eyoubr
oughtf
ood.
”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“i
t’
slunchhoursoIcoul
dn’
tcomeempt
y-
handed.
”

Li
sa:“
isi
tenoughf
orever
yone?
”
Me:“
it
’smor
ethanenough.
”

Ki
ng:
“thenLisagoandsetthet
ablewithSbo.
”They
i
mmediatel
yleave.“
Shoul
dItel
lherson?”
Kuhle:“
notnowdad.Ist
il
lhavet
ofi
gur
esome
t
hingsoutfi
rst
.”Theki
ngnods.

King:“
soyourfat
heri
sSiyabulel
aCele?”Inod.
“Thatmanyoh,hewasthelif
eoftheparty.We
alwaysgoti
ntotr
oublewhenwewer etogether.
Evenmymot herhat
edhim atsomepoint.”If
rown
whilel
ooki
ngathim.
Me:“
youknowmyf
ather
?”

King:“
knowi
sanunderst
atement.Yourf
atherwas
thegotoman.Webot
hst udi
edatOngoye.Atsome
pointwewer
eroommates.”
Me:“
whydoesn’
thet
alkaboutyout
hough?
”
King:“wegrewapart
.Someonetoldmef alse
i
nformationabouthi
minordertobreakour
fr
iendshi
p.WhenIdiscover
edthetruth,i
twastoo
l
ate.Yourfatheri
snott
heforgi
vingtype.
”
Me:“heisnow.Whenwast
hel
astt
imeyousawor
spoketohi
m? ”

Ki
ng:
“af
ewyear
sback.
”
Me:“
heli
stenst
omesoifyouwannar
econci
lewi
th
hi
m,youcantel
lme.
”hechuckl
es.
Ki
ng:
“Iwi
llt
hinkabouti
t.
”
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
07] :SPONSOREDCHAPTER
CHAPTER52
Li
sacall
sustot
hetableandweal lheadther
e.We
si
tdownandshedishesforherf
ather.Iwonder
whereSt
habi
lei
s.

Lisa:“
youwi l
ldishformybr otherMaCel eandbhut i
Sboyouwi lldi
shupf oryourselfbecauseyoudon’ t
haveal adyfri
end.”Boththebrotherslaugh.Idish
forKuhleandt hendishformyself.West arteat
ing.
Lisaisbusytelli
ngherfatheraboutthepl aceshe
l
ivesin.

King:“
Ihear
dyouwer
eget
ti
nganawar
dMaCel
e.”I
chuckl
e.
Me:“yes.WearegoingtoLibyanextweek.Ihope
youhaveyoursui
tready.”Isayl
ookingatKuhle.He
smil
esandlooksdown.Iknowhef or
got.
Kuhl
e:“Iwannamatchwi
thyousoIwantedtoknow
t
hecolourofyourdr
essf
ir
st.
”Ir
ollmyeyes.
Me:“cal
lXol
iandaskher
.Sheistheonewho
knowsthecol
ourofmydress.I
t’
sasurpr
ise.They
don’
twannamet oknow.
”

Li
sa:“youguysaregoi
ngtoTri
polinextweekend?
”
Kuhlenods.“
Ihaveacli
entt
hatIneedt omeetup
wit
hinTobruk.”
Ki
ng:
“you’
real
readyl
eavi
ngSA?
”
Lisa:“
daddyyouknowt hat
’showIr
oll
.ButI
promiseyou,Iwi
llgobackhomewithyouand
comebackt oDurbanonFridaymor
ningjusti
nti
me
forthefl
ight
.”

King:“t
hat’
sbetter.Westi
llhavetohavesome
bondingsessions.AndIam sureyourmothers
don’tevenknowt hatyouareinthecount
ry.
”She
cl
ear shert
hroat.
Lisa:“
Iwillcal
lthem butiftheytal
kaboutthe
husbandissueagain, Iam goingtoignor
ethem f
or
therestofmyst ay.
”
Sbo:“
stopbei
ngdr
amat
icsi
si.
”Kuhl
echuckl
es.

Kuhl
e:“Iam notevengoi
ngt
ocomplai
n.”Myphone
ri
ngsandIfrownwhenIseewhoiscal
li
ng.
Me:“Ihavetotaket
his.Iam sor
ry.
”Ist
andupand
headtothekit
chenwhileansweri
ngthecal
l.
“Busaniwhat
’sup?”

Busani
:“ Iam sorr
yfordistur
bingyouFut hybut
somethinghappenedatt heNongomasi t
ewherewe
arebui
ldingPr i
nceKuhle’spalace.Theydidn’
t
i
nspectthesitewel l
.West ar
tedbui l
dingandnow
thewall
scol l
apsedbecauset hef oundati
onwasn’
t
str
ongenough. ”
Me:“whothefucki
nspectedthatsit
e?”somet
hing
l
iket
hishasneverhappenedbefore.Seemsli
ke
someoneistr
yingt
osabot ageme.
Busani
:“Donna,
shei
sanewl
andsur
veyor
.”
Me:“
thi
sproj
ecti
shuge.Howcanyouletsomeone
newdealwi
thi
t?Howcanyoubesoincompetent
?”

Busani
:“Iam sor
ryboss.
”
Me:“
didsomeonegethur
t?”
Busani
:“Landil
ehur
thisl
eg.Thebri
ckscol
lapsed
onit
.Wear etaki
nghimtothehospi
tal
.”
Me:“Iwi
llt
ryandgetaqui
cktransportt
hatwil
lget
hi
mt oNetcareher
einDur
ban.Wher edoesthi
s
Donnast
ay? ”

Busani
:“i
nSydenham.
”Isi
gh.
Me:“Iwil
lletyouknowwhenIgett het
ranspor
t.
”I
hangup.Iheadout si
de.Isi
gnalZamohtogetoff
thecar
.Hecomesout ,t
ogetherwi
thThobekaand
Mabutho.
Zamoh:“
whati
sitboss?
”
Me:“ Ineedyoutogototheof fi
ceandt ellZahto
giveyoueverysingl
edetailaboutanewl and
surveyorcall
edDonna.Shehascr ossedthewr ong
womanandshei sgoingtor egreti
t.”It
urnbackand
goinsi det
hehouse.Iheadtot hediningroom.I
havej ustl
ostmyappetit
e.“Kuhl ecanItalktoyou?”
hestandsupandcomet ome.Weheadt othe
l
ounge.

Kuhl
e:“
what
’swr
ong?
”
Me:“doyouhaveachopperthati
sinKwaNongoma
r
ightnow?”hescr
atcheshi
shead.

Kuhle:“yes.It
’sinthepalace.What’
swr ongFuthy?
”
Inarratethest or
ytohim.“ Theymustnottake
LandiletoBenedi cti
nebecausetheyarenotgoing
togethelpt here.Letmemakesomecal lsandthen
getbackt oyour ightnow.”Hecli
mbt hestai
rsand
disappeartot hehallway.Itr
yandthi
nkofany
enemi esthatIhaveandnonecomeup.Whodi d
t
his?

Iheadt otheki t
chenandt akeoutbottl
edwat er
from thefri
dge.Idrinkiti
nonegoandbr eatheafter
that.Isi
tont hebarstoolandjustthi
nk.Iknowt hat
thisisasabot age.Iwonderwhoassi gnedthisland
surveyorbecauseWendy, Richar
dandMat talways
dot hesurveying.Kuhlecomesbackaf terawhi l
e.

Kuhl
e:“for
wardBusani ’
snumbertomyphone.”I
qui
cklydoasi nstr
uct
ed.Hetapsonhisphonefora
whil
eandt henplacei
tonthecounter
.Hethen
comest omysi deandhugsme.“Ever
ythi
ngis
goi
ngt obeokay.Don’tworr
y.”
Me:“someonei
stryi
ngtosabot
agemeKuhle.Ever
si
nceIstar
tedDCCnothi
ngli
kethi
shashappened
bef
ore.”

Kuhl
e:“don’tworr
y,wear
egoi
ngt
ogett
othe
bot
tom ofthis.
”Inod.
Me:“
Ineedt
oleave.Ihavet
obeatNongomaby
t
omorrowmorni
ng.”
Kuhl
e:“youhaven’
teventol
dmewhatbr
oughtyou
her
e.”Ichuckl
e.It
otal
lyf
orgot
.

Me:“ Iwantedt
oaskyououtonadoubl edinner
date.DannyiscomingtoDur bant
hisweekendand
heisbr i
ngi
nghisboyfri
end.Hewantedtodinewit
h
meandt ol
dmet obri
ngapl usonesoIthought
aboutyou.”Hechuckles.
Kuhl
e:“
Iam veryf
latt
eredanddon’
twor
ryIam
goi
ngtocome.”Ir
ollmyeyes.

Me:“Iknewyouweregoi
ngtocome.Youdon’
t
knowhowt osaynotome.”hel
aughs.
Kuhl
e:“
truet
hat
.”
Me:“canyoudr
ivemehome?Ihavesentmyguar
ds
somewhere.
”
Kuhl
e:“
okay.Let
’sgosaygoodbyet
oever
yone
t
hen.
”Weheadt othedi
ningroom.
Me:“Iam sorr
yaboutl
eavi
nginthemiddleoft
he
l
unchbutt her
eisanemergencyt
hatneedsmeat
work.
”
Li
sa:“i
sever
ythi
ngokay?
”Ilookatherand
suddenl
yanideacomestomind.

Me:“youcanhackanyt
hingfrom anywhereri
ght
?”
shechuckl
esandnods.“Canyougi vemeyour
number?Ineedyoutohacksomeonef ormebutI
wil
lfor
wardyouallt
hedetai
lslat
eron.”Ihandher
myphoneandshesaveshernumberi nther
e.

Li
sa:“whateveri
tist
hati
swr
ong,
wear
egoi
ngt
o
sor
titout
.”Inod.
Me:“byeever
yone.”Kuhl
eandIheadout.Wedri
ve
outi
nhisBMW 320i .“
Soyouarenotgoi
ngtotel
l
mewhatiseatingyou?”hechuckl
es.

Kuhl
e:“
no.butwhatIcant
ellyoui
sthatIam wi
fi
ng
younextyearonGoodFr
iday.
”Igi
ggl
e.
Me:“
dream onmypr
ince,
dream on.
”Hel
aughs.
Kuhl
e:“
wewi
llsee.
”
.
.
Iam happyt hatKuhlei sthecli
entf ortheNongoma
project.Ifitwasanot herperson,Iwoul dbefaci
nga
l
awsui trightnow.Theguar dscomebackhome
andgi vemet heinformationtheygotaboutDonna.I
quicklysendi ttoLisa.Ithentellthem aboutour
l
ittl
et r
ipandt hengopackmycl othes.Ishouldbe
goingwi t
hXol isi
nceZahi ssupposedt oholddown
thef ort
e.Iam sur ePhumudzoi sgoi ngtoki
llmefor
disturbinghisf i
ancésoIj ustforgetabouther.

Ivi
deocallWendyandt el
lherthatIneedtoherto
beatNongomaf ir
stthingtomor rowmorningwith
herteam.Ideci
denof uckit,wear egoi
ngtosleep
atNongomasot hatwecant ackleonthi
sissuefi
rst
thi
nginthemorning.IcallXolibecauseasmuchas
Ihavetododamagecontrol
,ther
ear
esomethings
thatIcan’
tdobymysel
f.Sheanswer
saft
erafew
ri
ngs.

Xol
i:“
bossl
ady.
”
Me:“XoliIneedyoutobookt
wosuit
esformeat
anylodgeorhoteli
nNongoma.Iwannachecki
n
toni
ght.
”
Xol
i:“
isever
ythi
ngokay?
”

Me:“j
ustaworkemer
gencyt
hatIneedt
oat
tend
t
o.”shesi
ghs.
Xoli
:“okayIwi
llbookandt
hensendyout
he
ref
erences.
”

Me:“Xoliawallcoll
apsedintheNongomapr oj
ect
l
eadingtooneoft heworkersgett
inginj
ured.He
shouldbehereinaf ewhours.ContactKuhleand
makesur eyousettl
ehishospit
albil
lsandget
ever
ythi
ngr eadyforhi
m atNetcareinuMhlanga.
Al
socallZahandt
ellhertoat
tendorcancel
allmy
meet
ingsfort
omorr
ow. ”
Xol
i:“
okayboss.
”Ihangup.

Itakeashowerandt hendrymybody.Ipackmy
toil
etr
iesandputthem inmyweekendbag.Iget
dressedinagreylettergraphicdrawstr
ingwai st
j
umpsui tandwhitesneaker s.Icombmyhai rand
ti
eittoaneatbun.Ipackal lmygadgetsinthe
weekendbagandt henheaddownst ai
rs.If
indt he
guardschatt
ingintheki t
chen.Mabut hoistheone
whoi scooki
ng.

Me:“changeofpl
ans,
wear el
eavi
nginanhour
.So
gopack.”ZamohandThobekaheadout
.
Mabutho:“
Iam near
lydonewi
tht
hisst
ew.
”I
chuckl
e.
Me:“noprobl
em butyouwi
llhavet
opacki
ton
cont
ainer
s.”
Mabut
ho:“
wear
egoi
ngwi
tht
heAmar
oksot
ell
Zamoht
opr
epar
eit
.”Henods.

Iheadtothebackyardandj
ustsitonthebenchi
n
thegar
den.Idobreathi
ngexer
cisestocalm me
down.Runningacompanycanbehar dbecauseit
’s
notal
lrosesever
yt i
me.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
07] :CHAPTER53

By8pm wearri
veatNongomaandwechecki nat
NongomaInn.Wegot oourrooms,Iam shari
nga
room wi
thThobeka.Wegetsett
ledi
nandIt akeyet
anot hershower.Igetdressedinmyshortpaj
amas
andgot akemyphone.Isi tonthecouchandjust
scrollonmyphonewai tingforThobekawhois
takingashower .Af
tersheisdone,shecomesback
wear inghersleepwear.Sheissosexy,mybrother
i
sl uckyt ohaveher.

Me:“ l
et’
sgoeatsupperandt henwecanr est
becauseweneedt obeatthesiteear
lyi
nt he
mor ni
ng.”Shewear sacoatandputhergunonthe
pocket.Ichuckl
e.“Whocanpossi bl
eatt
ackme
here?”shelaughs.Iwearmysi l
kygown.

Thobeka:“
youmayneverknowboss.
”Shetakes
herphone.Weheadoutandfi
ndMabuthoand
Zamohatt hedoor
.
Me:“
don’
ttel
lmeyouguyshavebeenst
andi
ngher
e
t
hiswhol
etime.
”

Mabut
ho:“
nobutwesuspect
edt
hatyoumi
ght
wannagot
other
estaur
antf
orsupper
.”Inod.We
gett
other
est
aur
antandset
tl
edown.
.
.
Thenextmor ni
ngIwakeupat4am andgot akea
hotshower .IhopeWendyandhert eam areont he
way, becauseifnot,
wearegoi ngtohaveaser i
ous
problem.WhenIam doneIheadt ot hebedroom
andf i
ndThobekamaki ngt hebed.Weexchange
greeti
ngsandsheheadst othebathroom.Iget
dressedinleopardpanelteeandjogger ssetwitha
twotonedr awstri
ngwaistcoatandbl acksneakers.
.
.
Wegett ot
hesitewi t
houtevenhavi
ngbreakfast
.I
fi
ndt heconstr
uctionworkersandthesit
emanager
out si
detheoff
ice.Wegett owheretheyare
standingandIclearmyt hroatsot
hatIcangetthei
r
attenti
on.Theyalltur
ntolookatme.
Me:“ morningever yone.Iam ver ysaddenedabout
whatoccur redher eyesterday.Notonlydidoneof
thewor kersgethur tbutwel ostmoneyandr i
ght
nowwear el osi
ngt ime.Yourtaskt odayistogetrid
ofthemat erialthatwasdamagedandcl eanthesite.
Afterthatyoucangohomeandcomebackaf t
er
twoweeks.Youwi llgetnoti
fi
edaboutyourr eturn
dateanddon’ tworryyouar egoingt ogetpaidfor
thetwoweeksyouwi l
lspendst ayi
ngathome. ”

Si
temanager:“
nowgett
owor
ksot
hatyoucan
l
eaveear
ly.
”

Theygett
owor kandIheadi
nsi
detheoff
icewi
th
thesi
temanagerwhosenameisJabu.
Me:“
whatr
eal
lyhappenedJabu?
”Iasksi
tt
ingdown.

Jabu:“
Ireall
ydon’
tknowboss.Wewereact
ual
ly
donewiththewall
softhef
ir
stfl
oor
.”
Me:“
didn’
tyouf
ir
stdi
gthebasementar
ea?
”
Jabu:“ei
shthat
.”hesaysscr
atchi
nghisheadandI
j
ustsigh.WhydidGodgivemeamat eurworker
s
thi
sti
mear ound?

Me:“ayyIwil
lseeyou.”Iwearprotect
ive
const
ruct
iongears.It
henheadt owher et
he
const
ruct
ionworkersare.“
Iam goingtolendyou
guysahand.”Theyallseem conf
usedbutt hey
don’
tsayanythi
ng.
.
.
It’
s13:40ri
ghtnowandwest artedwor ki
ngar ound
8am.Iam kakt i
red.Ideci
det
ost opwor ki
ng.Ihead
totheoffi
ceandt akeofft
heprotecti
vegear.Isay
goodbyetoJabuandt hewor
kersandt henheadt o
theparki
nglot.Ifi
ndtheguar
dswi t
htwoofKuhl e’
s
brother
s.

Thobeka:“youl
ookt
ir
ed.
”It
akeof
fmycoatand
handittoher.
Me:“want
edtodosomethingtokeepmebusy, soI
hel
pedwithmovi
ngtheequipmentaround.”
Mabuthohandsmebott
ledwaterandIdrinkit
.

Mkhul
uli
:“sawubonasi
si.
”Ismi
leandl
ookatt
hem.
Me:“
heyguys.Whatbr
ingsyouher
e?”

Nqaba:“bhut
isaidwemustbr i
ngyouf
oodbecause
hesuspectedthatyouhaven’
teat
ensi
nce
morni
ng.”Ichuckle.
Me:“i
shepsychi
corsomet
hing?”t
heyl
augh.“I
s
t
hereapl
acewherewecansitdownandeat?
”

Mkhulul
i:“t
her
eisanopenfiel
dwhi
chi
snotf
ar
f
rom here.Youcansi
tther
e.”
Me:“okay.Dri
veandwewil
lfoll
ow.
”Wegeti
ntot
he
car
sanddr ivebehi
ndt
hei
rcars.
.
.
*
**XOLI
***
Igettot hehospit
alwhereLandi
lei
sadmi t
ted.The
recepti
onisttel
lsmewher ehi
swardisat,soIgo
there.Igeti
nsidethewardandfindhi
mt alki
ngwith
awhi tewoman.Icl earmythr
oatandtheybothtur
n
tolookatme.

Landi
l
e:“
mayIhel
pyou?
”
Me:“
Ineedt
ospeakt
oyoual
one.
”
Whitewoman:“wewi l
ltal
klat
er.
”Shestandsup
andheadsout.Ishutt
hedoorafterherandgosi
t
onthevi
sit
ors’chai
r.

Me:“Iam Nomxol
isi
byt
hewayandIwor
kforFut
hy
Cel
e.”Hechuckl
es.
Landil
e:“shesentyouher
e?Coul
dn’
tshecome
hersel
f?”
Me:“sheistheownerofahugecompany.Shehas
r
esponsibi
li
ties.Aswearespeaki
ng,sheisat
Nongomat r
yi ngtododamagecontr
olforthemess
t
hathappenedt
her
e.”

Landi
l
e:“
sowhyar
eyouher
e?”
Me:“ Iam heretotellyout hatwhathappenedwasa
mistake.I
tcoul d’
vehappenedt oanyone.Wear e
ver
ysaddenedbyi t
.Wewi shyouaspeedyrecovery
butpleasedon’ tt
ellthepr essabouttheacci
dent.
DCCi sgoingt opayyouf orthewhol eti
mewhil
e
youar esi
tti
ngathomer ecovering.Theywil
l
actuall
ytri
pleyourpay. ”Hechuckl es.

Landi
l
e:“
ist
hisyourwayofbuyi
ngmysi
lence?
”
Me:“ actuallysirthi
sisjuststandardprocedur e.
Yousee, ifyout el
lanyoneaboutt hi
saccident ,
especiallythepr ess,youwil
lbesuedbecauseyou
willbebr eachingyourcont r
act.Yousignedanon-
disclosureagr eementwher eyouagr eednott o
discloseanyt hingthathappensi nthesit
e.The
consequencesofyougoi ngtot hepresswillleadto
youbei ngunempl oyedfortherestofyourlife.”He
huffs.
Landi
l
e:“
Idi
dn’
tsayIwi
llgot
othemedi
a.”
Me:“ ungaphi kanabamhlophe.Theywi l
lleaveyou
pooraf tertheybenefitf
rom t
hisscandal.Dot he
rightthingsirandthinkaboutyourfami l
y.They
maypr omi seyoumaybeahundr edt housandbut
wi l
lthatlastyouforyourwholelif
e?”Istandup.
“Youwi l
lgetyoursalaryontheagreeddat e.Don’
t
takeadeci si
onthatyouwillr
egretfortherestof
yourl i
fe.”Iheadout.

Zahtoldmet hattheremi ghtbeasabot ageont his

i
ssueandt hatthepersonr esponsibleforthismi ght
cometoLandi l
eandof ferhim adealsoIhadt oact
fast
.Igettothepar ki
ngl otandcli
mbi nsidet hecar.
Thedriverdri
vestogat ewaywher ewedogr oceri
es
andthenheadhome.Ican’ twaitf
ortomor row
whereIwi l
lbePhumudzo’ swifetradi
ti
onally.
.
.
Wegett oDur banandi t’
salr
eady9pm.Wegett o
myhouseandhavesupperwhi chweboughtatKFC.
Ilovedt hef oodt hattheZulubrot
hersbrought
.It
wassodel ici
ous.Itwasahomecooked.Theysai d
i
twaspr eparedbyoneoft hemaids.Wet henhead
toourr ooms.Ishower ,wearmynightdressand
thengett obed.Ical lNomaandi nfor
m herabout
thisissueIam f acingatwork.Sheisalsomy
companyl awyer.

WhenIam done, IcontactXoliandshet el

lsme
aboutt heconver
sationshehadwi t
hLandi l
e,whata
chancer .WhenIam done, Ireceiveat extf
rom Lisa
sayingshehassomei nfor
mat ionandshewoul d
l
iketoseemet omor rowbefor etheyleavebecause
theyareheadedt oNongoma.It el
lherthatIwil
l
comet omor r
owmor ning.Ithensaymyni ghtprayer
andt hendrif
ttosleep.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
08] :CHAPTER54

Iwakeup, bathandthengetdressedinaflounce
tr
imfloraldr essandyell
owsandals.Icombmyhai r
andti
ei t.Ireall
ylovetyi
ngmyhai r
.Ithenweara
yel
lowdoek.It akemyAvetandorcarkeys,bagand
phone.Igodownst air
sandfindMabut hocoming
outofthei nhousegym.

Me:“
hiBut
hoandbyeBut
ho.
”Hel
aughs.
Mabut
ho:“
Iam notevengoi
ngt
oaskanyt
hing.
”
Me:“
goodboy.
”

Iheadt
othegar
ageanddr
iveoutmycar
.If
ir
st
dri
vetothepetr
olstati
ontof i
llupthetank.It
hen
buypowerade.Igetinsi
det hecaranddr i
veto
Kuhle’
shouse.Igetthereandf i
ndKuhlestret
chi
ng
outsi
dethehouse.Iparkmycari nthedri
vewayand
headtowhereheisat .Holyfuck,heisshir
tl
ess.

Me:“
mor
ningmypr
ince.
”Hesmi
les.
Kuhle:“mor
ningmyqueen.Iwoul dhugyoubutI
don’twannaleavesweatal
loveryourbeauti
ful
dress.Youl
ookwonder f
ult
hismor ni
ng.”Ibl
ush
andr ol
lmyeyes.

Me:“youdon’thavetocomplementmet hatmuch
Kuhle.
”Istudyhischestandabs.Hi
schesthasink.
“Youhavetatt
oos?Whatki ndofapr
incetatt
oos
himsel
f?”
Kuhl
e:“
myki
nd.
”
Me:“
wher
ecanIf
indLi
sa?
”

Kuhl
e:“
youwi
llf
indheri
ntheki
tchen.
”Igeti
nsi
de
t
hehouseandheadt
otheki
tchen.
Me:“t
houghtIwoul
dfi
ndyoucooki
ng.
”IsaywhenI
seeLi
sasit
ti
nginoneoft
hebarst
ool
s.Shegi
ggl
es.

Li
sa:“
Idon’
twannabur nmybrot
her’
skit
chen.But
canImakeyoucoffee?
”Inodandsitdown.She
makesmecoffeeandshehandsitt
ome.
Me:“
sowhatdoyouhavef
orme?
”
Li
sa:“
doyouknowaNqobil
eMthi
yane?”Ifr
own
andtr
ytor
ememberandthent
heli
ghtbulbgoeson.

Me:“shewasal wayscompetingwithmewhi leI

wasst i
llstudyi
ngatWi t
s.Shewasr eal
lybit
terand
shewasal waysonmycase.Il astsawheron
graduationday.Ithoughtt
hatwouldbet helast
ti
meIhearofhername. ”

Li
sa:“
sheisthef
ounderandownerofConquer
s
Ar
chit
ect
s.”
Me:“
owwyah.Iknowthatcompany.It
houghti
t
wasbasedi
nJo’
burg.
”

Li
sa:“DonnaMagnesi sherchildhoodfri
end.They
pl
annedthisandseemsl i
ketheyhavebeen
pl
anningyourdownfallf
orawhi lenow.They
haven’
tsucceededbecausethisLandil
eguywho
gothurti
sn’ti
nter
estedi
nwhatt heyar
eplanning.
Whateveryousaidtohim worked.”

Me:“
Xol
iist
heonewhowentandt
alkedt
oher
.”
Li
sa:“
wel
lshei
samazi
ng.
”
Me:“
Iwi
llhavet
odosomet
hingt
othankher
.”

Lisa:“Ineedyout obecareful
.Thi
sNqobi l
eperson
seemst ohaveapl anB,
C, D.Youjusthavetostay
alertbecauseitseemsli
keshewon’ tbegivingup.
”I
si
gh.
Kuhl
e:“
MaCelecomeandpi
ckasui
tformeto
wear
.”Hesaysst
andi
ngint
hedoor
way.Heonly
hasat
owelar
oundhi
swai
st.

Me:“
butwhyme?
”
Li
sa:“i
fnotyou,
thenwho?Pl
ust
hisi
syourwayof
payi
ngme.”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“unbel
ievabl
e.YoudoknowIwoul
d’vepai
dyou
6fi
gures.
”
Li
sa:“
hepaysmebetter
.”Shesayspoi
nti
ngat
Kuhl
ewit
hhereyes.

Me:“f
ine.
”Istandup.“Leadt
heway.
”Weheadto
hi
sroom.It’
sreal
lyhugeanditi
sver
ybeaut
if
ul.
Kuhle:“myclosetisthatway.Iam oneofthelobola
negotiat
orssoIhavet olookgood.”Hesaystaking
offhistowelandloti
oning.Ij
ustswall
owhar dand
gotot hecl
oset.Ihaveneverreal
lychoseclothes
foraman.Thi sismyf ir
stti
me.

Hehasr
eal
lyni
cecl
othes.It
akeouthi
ssaf
arit
wo
piecesuitwhichismustar
dandbl ackvest.AndnoI
am nottryingtomatchwit
hhi m butt
hissuiti
svery
beauti
ful.Ibendandtakeblackdressshoesfrom
theshelfbelow.Ihearawhistl
eandIstandupver y
quickl
y.

Kuhle:“
niceassyougott
here.
”hesayslicki
nghi
s
l
ips.Heisnowwear i
ngunderwearandsocks.
Me:“you’
veseeni
tbef
ore.What
’sthefussnow?
”he
chuckl
esandcometostandi
nfrontofme.
Kuhl
e:“i
t’
sareall
ygreatassandIwoul dl
ovet
osee
i
tever
yday.”Hishandstravelal
lovermybodyand
l
andtomyass, gr
abbingit.Iwimp.

Me:“
her
eisyoursui
t.Youar
egoi
ngt
obel
ate.
”
Kuhl
e:“t
heycanwait.FornowIfeell
ikeservicing
mywife.Ihaver
easontobeli
eveshel astgotlaidat
t
hehotel.
”Iswal
lowhard.
Me:“Kuhl
enotnowanddefi
nit
elynotatyour
matr
imonialhome.
”Het
akeshishandsoffmyass
andsi
ghs.Het
hent
akeshi
ssui
t,vestandshoes.

Kuhl
e:“
youwannamat
chwi
thme?
”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“
no.Iwi
llseeyoul
aterkwaXol
i.
”
Kuhl
e:“
canIgetaki
ssbef
oreyoul
eave?
”
Me:“
Kuhl
e…”

Kuhl
e:“
please.
”Isi
ghst
andi
ngonmytoesand
ki
ssi
nghim.Ibreakt
heki
ssandt
henheadout
.
.
.
Ifi
rstheadt othemalltobuyboozeandagi ftfor
Xoli
.Iknowt hisoccasiondoesn’ tneedgift
sbutXoli
i
sspeci alanddeservest obepamper edeverynow
andt hen.Ibuyacoldsi xpackofBel gravi
atoget
mei nthemood.It hendr ivet
oXol i’
shomest ead
whiledrinki
ngandl i
steningPrinceKaybee’sPr oj
ect
Hopeal bum.
IgettoXol i
’shomeandf indt henegot i
atorsalready
thereandseemsl iketheyar ediscussingt hi
ngs.I
hopeXol i
’sfathercharget hem al otbecause
Phumudzoi srich,heneedst opay.Idr ivemycart o
thegateandaboyopenst hegat eforme.Idr ivein
andpar kthecarj ustoutsidethegar age.Ikil
lthe
engine,fi
nishmysecondcanandt henfixmydoek
andmake- up.Icl i
mbof fthecarandgeti nsi
det he
house.Ifindmom si t
ti
ngwi thsomel adiesinthe
kit
chen.

Me:“
sani
bonani
.”Theyal
lgr
eetback.
Mom:“
howar
eyoubaby?
”
Me:“
Iam f
inema.Wher
eisXol
i?
”

Mom:“youandt hi
snameofyour s.I
t’
strendi
ngand
al
mosteveryoneiscall
ingherthat.
”Ilaugh.“
Sheis
i
nthesecondr oom onyourri
ghtdownt he
cor
ri
dor.
”
Me:“okayma.”Iheadtothedir
ect
ionshesai d.I
openthedoorand6pai r
sofeyesturnstolookat
mydirect
ion.“
Hieveryone.
”Theygreetback.Xoli
st
andsupandcomest ohugme.
Xol
i:“
thanksf
orcomi
ngboss.
”
Me:“
anythi
ngforyou.Andt
hankyouf
orwhatyou
di
dwithLandi
le.
”

Xoli
:“apl
easure.If
eltsoal
iveaft
erthatmomenti
n
theward.
”Ilaughandsheal sol
aughs.
Me:“
youl
ookbeaut
if
ul.
”Shesmi
les.
Xoli
:“t
hankyou.Byt hewaythesear
emycousi
ns,
TheluandThalente.Thent
hesearemyhi
ghschool
fr
iendsKhazi
mul aandZolet
haandyouknowZah.”

Me:“
nicet
omeetyoual
l.
”
Zolet
ha:“you’
retheonedri
vingt
heLamborghi
ni
outsi
de?”Ismileandnod.“
Yourboyf
ri
endmustbe
ri
chtohaveboughtyouanexpensiveandbeauti
ful
carli
kethat.
”
Khazi
mula:“
blesseet
endenciesbabes.Youshould
hookusupwithhisfr
iends.
”Theygiggleandhifi
ve.
Zah:“
FYI
…”

Me:“Zanel
eno.don’t
.”shehuffsanddrinks
whatevert
hati
sonhercup.Iknowshewasabout
todefendmyhonorbutIdon’tcarewhatpeople
thi
nkaboutme.Itakeoutasmal lgi
ftbagfrom my
bagandhandittoXoli.“
Happymal obolodayMr s.
Modisanetobe.
”Shesmi les.

Xoli
:“t
hankyousomuchFut
hybutyoudi
dn’
thave
to.
”ZahandIlaugh.
Zah:“don’tbemodestdear.Bossdi
dyoubr
ingany
col
dst uff
?Myt hr
oatisn’
ttaki
ngthi
shotwi
newell
.”
Ichuckle.

Me:“l
et’
sgotomycar.Wewil
lcomebacklat
er
Xol
i.
”WeheadoutandfindMabut
ho,Zamohand
Thobekapar
kingt
heAmaroki
ntheyard.Wewai
t
unti
ltheyareoutoft hecar.Theycometowherewe
arestanding.“Ihopeyoubr oughtmef
oodbecause
Iam starvi
ng.”ThobekalooksatZamoh.

Thobeka:“5point
sforThobeka.
”Mabut
hoand
Zamohl augh.
Me:“
andt
hen?
”

Thobeka:“wellItol
dthem thatsi
nceyoul efthome
wit
houteating,Iam sureyouhaven’thadt i
met o
havebreakfast.WorrynotbecauseI,yourfavori
te
bodyguard,boughtyouawi mpybr eakfast
.”
Mabut ho:“j
ustbecauseoffood,
youaresuddenl
y
thefavori
te?”Il
aughbecausehistonei
sgirl
y.
Thobekast i
cksouthertongueandheadtothecar.
Shecomesbackwi thawimpypaperbag.She
handsi tt
ome.

Me:“
you’
ret
hebest
.”
Thobeka:“
inyourf
aceBut
ho.
”Weal
ljustl
augh.I
handZahmycarkeys.

Me:“
ther
eisacold4packint
hepassengerseat
andt
hereisal
somoreboozei
ntheboot.Takeitout
andt
akeittot
hekit
chen.
”
Zah:“butt
he4packisstayi
ngi
nthecar
,al
soone
bott
leofvodka.
”Ij
ustl
aughshaki
ngmyhead.
.
.
Thenegoti
ationswentwel l
.Wearenowsitt
ingat
themarqueatt hebackyardanddr
inki
ngbecause
wehaveservedt hefoodtotheinl
aws.Wear e
sit
ti
ngwiththem hereatthemarqueandsomeof
them ar
emaki ngjokes.Kuhl
eissi
tti
ngnexttome.

Phumudzo:“
Iam sogladthatt
hisparti
sover
.Now
wecanlookfor
wardtotheactualweddi
ng.
”
Zah:“
soyouar
eleavi
ngwi
tht
hem t
oni
ght
?”
Xol
i:“
no.Iwi
llgot
her
enextweekendbecauseof
t
heawar
ds.
”

Khazi
mul
a:“
whatawar
ds?
”
Xol
i:“
wel
l…”
Me:“
MzansiMagicAwar
dswhi
chIam at
tendi
ng
wi
thmyblesser
.”
Zol
etha:“t
oldyousheisablessee.
”Myf r
iendslook
atmelikeIhavegrownhorns.“Imeanhowel secan
sheaffor
dacarlikethatwi
thoutasponsor?”

Kuhl
e:“
wow.
”Hesi
psonhi
sbeer
.
Noma:“
Iam notevengoi
ngt
osayanyt
hing.
”
Lee:“
meei
ther
.”
Zol
etha:“
ther
eisnothi
ngwrongwit
hthi
sli
fest
yle.
Welovethenicel
if
e.Shei
snotashamedtoshow
i
t.
”

Mbuso:“
doyouwhathernamei
s?”
Mabutho:“
haveyoueverseenabl
esseewi
th
guar
ds?”
Khazi
mula:“
wherearetheguar
ds?
”sheasks
l
aughi
ng.Okayfunisover.
Me:“t
henamei sNtombif
uthifuckinCele.Youcan
Googl
emeumungangazi .”Isi
ngt helastpart
.“You
havebeaut
if
ulsui
tsinyourcloset.Whydoyouneed
anewone?”Iwhispert
oKuhl e.

Kuhl
e:“samer
easonwhyyouneedanewdress
whil
eyouhavever
ybeaut
if
uldr
essesi
nyour
cl
oset.
”
Me:“
butIam awoman.Ineedt
owearsomet
hing
newtoanoccasi
onl
iket
his.
”
Kuhl
e:“andIam apr
inceandIneedtowear
somethi
ngnewtoanoccasionli
kethi
s.”Il
augh.
Me:“
whatacomeback.
”

Khazi
mul
a:“
youar
ethef
amousFut
hy?
”
Lee:“
nowyouknow.Canwedr i
nkinpeacenowor
youwannaGoogleeveryoneonthi
smar que?
”
Khazi
mulashakesherhead.
Noma:“nowthat’
soutoft
heway,
wher
ear
ewe
goi
ngtonight
?”
Zah:“
maybeatMoj
osCar
wash.
”
Xoli
:“am Ial
sogoi
ng?
”sheasksbat
ti
ngher
eyel
ashesatPhumudzo.

Phumudzo:“f
inebutIam nevergoi
ngtogetyouout
ofmysight
.”Weal ll
augh.MbusoandPhumudzo
aresoover
protect
iveofthei
rwoman,i
t’
scute.

Kuhle:“andpl ease,noprovocati
ngout fi
ts.
”Hesays
l
ookingatmeandIj ustchuckle.Kuhlethinksheis
myboyf riend.Cansomeonepl easetellhimthatI
am sti
llthesi ngleNtombifut
hiCele?Ifeelli
keheis
cl
aimingsomet hi
ngthatisnothisbutIam goi ngt
o
l
ethim of fthehookbecauseIst il
ldon’tknowwhy
hewascr ying.Maybehei sgoingt hr
oughal ot.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
#Cel
eNat
ion
#Zul
uNat
ion
[
03/
09,
08:
11] :CHAPTER55

RightnowIam dr i
vingwit
hKuhlet ot
hehot elwhere
wear emeetingDannyandAf r
ika.Ihadt
ot all
y
forgotbutl
uckil
yhecalledtor
emi ndme.Idi dn’
t
evengot omyhouset ochangebecauseit’salready
l
ate.Kuhlehasalsonotchanged,heissti
llwear i
ng
hissuit.
Hisguardsar edri
vingbehi ndus.Hei sdri
vingmy
car.Iam kaktir
edandmyf eethurtandIam al soa
l
itt
leti
psy.Igavemyguar dst heafter
noonof f.I
meant heyarealwayswi t
hmesoIhavet ogive
them ti
met obreathe,plusKuhle’sguardsareher e
soIam per f
ectl
ysaf e.Iyawnandst r
etchmyar ms,
yeahIam thattir
ed.

Kuhle:“
maybeweshoul
djustcancelt
hisdat
e.”I
shakemyhead.
Me:“
Dannyisgoingtoki
llmeifIdon’
tcome.Can
wepasst
hepet r
olst
ati
onfir
stsothatIcangeta
Monst
erEnergy?”
Kuhl
e:“
asyouwi
shmyqueen.
”

Hedri
vestoapetrolstati
on,goesoutandcomes
backmomentslaterwiththeenergydrink.Hehands
i
ttomeandIdr i
nkitinstant
ly.Hedrivestothehotel
aft
ert
hat.Wegetthereandgot otherestaur
ant.
Thisr
est
auranti
ssocozyandpr i
vate,youhaveto
l
eaveyourphonesattheent r
ance.It’
saper f
ect
pl
acef orpeopl
ewhoar ehavi
ngaffai
rs.Wehand
ourphonest ot
hehostessandshehandsuscards
i
nreturn.Shethencal
lsawaiterwholeadsusto
ourtable.

Danny:“
bit
chyouf
inal
lymadeit
!”heshout
sas
soonasheseesme.Irushandgivehi
m at
ighthug.
Me:“
howar
eyoubabes?
”
Danny:“
fl
our
ishi
ngasal
ways,
howar
eyouhoney?
”

Me:“Iam okay,
justt
ir
edbecauseIst
art
eddr
inki
ng
ear
lyint
hemor ning.
”
Danny:“
drunkard.
”Ilaugh.Weexchangegr
eeti
ngs
wit
hourdatesandt hensettl
edown.Thewai
ter
t
akesourordersandt henleave.
Me:“
whyt
hispl
aceofal
lpl
aces?
”

Danny:“
Blueyou’r
efamous,thepri
nceisf
amous.If
wewenttoar egul
arrest
aur
ant,youguyswoul
d’ve
tr
endedwi t
hinaf
ewhour sandj our
nali
stswoul
d’ve
madet hei
rownconclusions,plusyouroutf
it
sare”
heshrugs“naweuyazibonela.”

Kuhle:“
you’r
eri
ghtDanny.Isti
llwanttoenjoymy
rel
ati
onshipwit
hmyqueenbef orewel etitbe
knownt ot
hepubli
c.Thankyouf orthi
nkingofus.”I
tur
nt ol
ookathim wit
hmyeyeswi deopened.Guys
Kuhleishall
uci
nat
ing.Somethi
ngi swrongi nhi
s
head.

Af
ri
ka:“
soyouguysar
eani
tem?
”
Me:“
act
ual
ly…”t
hemonst
ernextt
omei
nter
rupt
s
me.

Kuhle:“
somethi
ngl i
kethat,butIwannagetmy
aff
airsi
norderfi
rstbeforeIcanpublici
zeour
rel
ati
onshi
p.Idon’twannahi dehowIf eelabout
her.
”Iswall
owhar d.Luckil
ythewaiterbringsour
dri
nksatthati
nstantmoment .It
akethegl assof
wat
erandgul
pitdownononego.

Danny:“mypri
nceyouarescari
ngmyf r
iendwith
yourseri
oust
alk.
”Kuhlet
urnstolookatmeandhe
justki
ssesme.Whatthehell
?Iactual
lyfreeze.
Dannychuckl
esandIunfreezeandbreakt hekiss.
Me:“umm howisworkDanny?
”Itr
yt ochanget
he
subj
ect.Hegi
ggl
esanddri
nkshiswine.

Danny:“
bori
ngreal
ly.I
sitwrongf
ormetowi
sht
o
gobacktoLimpopo?”Ishakemyhead.
Me:“notatal
l.Therearealotofthi
ngswedi
dn’
t
havetodealwithatthatpl
ace.”

Danny:“
Ishouldt
hankyourempl oyee,
theone
whoseweddingweattended.I
fitwasn’tforher,I
wouldn’
thavemetmyver yownpr i
ncechar ming.
”
Hesayslooki
ngatAfr
ikawhosmi l
esinreturn.Aww,
l
oveisintheai
r.
Me:“
stopmaki
ngmej
eal
ous.Someofusar
esi
ngl
e
guys.
”

Kuhl
e:“MaCel
eifyouhavenot
hingbet
tert
osay,
j
ustshutup.
”IgaspandDannychokesonhisdr
ink.
Me:“Ineedtousetherestr
oom. ”Istandupand
headtowher et
hetoil
etsare.Igetthereandj ust
ri
nsemyf acewithcol
dwat erfrom thesink.The
rest
room dooropensandDannywal ksin.

Danny:“
bit
chwhatwast
hat
?”
Me:“Idon’
tknow.Ithi
nkHi sMaj est
yisdel
usional
orsomethi
ng.”Heburstsoutlaughing.“
Thisisno
l
aughingmatterdearf
riend.Hehasbeenl i
kethis
si
nceWednesdayori sitThursday?Iam notsure.
”I
saytaki
ngpapertowelsandwi pingmyface.

Danny:“
itisrat
herinterest
ingwatchi
ngyoubei
ng
uncomfortabl
e.”Isquashthepapertowelandt
hrow
i
tinhisface.Hecont i
nueslaughi
ng.
Me:“
whataf
ri
endyouar
e.”
Danny:“hey,Ididn’
tsaymaket
hepr
incef
allhead
overheelsinlovewithyou.
”

Me:“
ahhlet’
sjustgobackt
othet
abl
e.Iam
f
amished.
”
Danny:“
asyouwi
shmyqueen.
”Hebows.
Me:“ fuckyou.
”Ipasshim andheadout.Helaughs
andf oll
owsme.Wesi tdownont hechair
s.“So
Afr
ika, howisthel
ongdist
ancerelat
ionshi
p?”he
smiles.

Afri
ka:“
Wear emaki
ngitworkbuthehasbeen
hint
ingaboutcomi
ngtostayinJHBforqui
tesome
ti
menow. ”
Me:“that
’sgood.Sowhatareyouri
ntent
ionsf
ormy
fr
iend?”Dannylooksatme.“I
sitwrongofmeto
askthat?”Af
ri
kasmi l
es.

Afr
ika:“
youarenotwrong.Idowishtotakeour
rel
ati
onshi
ptothenextlevel
butIam goi
ngtowait
f
ort
hedi
stancemat
tert
obesol
ved.
”
Me:“that
’sgoodtohearbecauseifyouwere
pl
anningonplayi
ngwi t
hhisfeel
ings,Iwasgoi
ngt
o
ki
llyou.
”Helaughs.
.
.
*
**KUHLE*
**
Ihavecont actedmymot herandaskedhert ocal l
forameet ingwhichwillbenextweekendbecause
thisweekendIam goi ngt oLibya.Ialsoaskedher
tocal lSthabil
e’sfami
lytobepr esent.Idon’
twant
hersayi ngwechasedheroutwi thoutgoodreason.
Iwantever yonetoknowwhatki ndofawomanshe
i
s.Ir eall
ywonderhowmyancest orswelcomet he
childrenintomyf amil
ywhent heydon’thavemy
bloodr unningt hr
oughtheirveins.

Futhyhasmadequitethei
mpr essiononmy
sibl
ings,
evenLi
sa.Theyli
ter
allycallmeeveryday
toaskabouther
.Theyhavebecomeanui sance
becauseeveryti
metheybel ike‘
whereissi
sFuthy?’
‘
Whenar ewegoi ngtoseeheragain?’‘
Whenare
youbringi
nghertothepalace?’t
heyareobsessed,
I
am tel
li
ngyou.Myphoner ingsandthecall
eris
Sthabi
le.Hernameangersme.Ianswert hecall
.

Stha:“
heybabe.Howar
eyou?
”evenhervoi
ce
annoysme.
Me:“
Iam f
inedearwi
fe.Howar
eyou?
”
St
ha:“Iam good,
justmi
ssi
ngyou.Theki
dsal
so
missyou.
”
Me:“
wewi
llseeeachot
hersoon.
”

St
ha:“whichbri
ngsmetothemessagef
rom your
mother.Shesai
dther
eisanur
gentfami
lymeeti
ng.
Whatisital
labout
?”
Me:“
Iam cl
uel
essli
keyoubutIguesswewi
llal
l
f
indoutt
oget
hernextweek.
”
St
ha:“
okayt
hen.Amahl
ewant
stospeakt
oyou.
”
Me:“
givehert
hephone.
”Ihearsomeshuf
fl
ing.

Amahl e:“howar eyouAmahl e’

sfather
?”heari
ngher
saythatjustbringtearstomyeyes.Ihaveloved
thesechildrenwithallmyhearteversi
ncethey
werebor n.Ihavenurturedthem andgavethem my
all
.Andnowt heyaregoi ngtobetakenawayfrom
me, j
ustlikethat?

Me:“Iam f
inedaddy’
spr
incess.Ij
ustmi
ssmy
pr
incessverymuch.”
Amahl
e:“
mamasai
dwewi
llseeyouatt
hepal
ace.
”
Me:“
yespr
incess.Daddywi
llseeyousoon.
”
Amahl
e:“
loveyoudaddy.
”

Me:“loveyout ooprincess.”Ihangupandj ustcr

y.
Womenar ecruelcreatures.WhenIam done
moppi ngaround,Igovi sitmylawyer.Igett
ohis
fi
rm andgost rai
ghttohi soffi
ce.Ifi
ndhim
shagginghissecretary.“Iam sureyourorgasms
canwait
.Mymatteri
sveryi
mport
ant
.”The
secr
etar
ydr
essesupquickl
yandr
ushesout.

Phi
la:“cockbl
ocker
.”Hesaysdr
essi
ngup.Il
augh
andsitonthecouch.
Me:“someofusar
eabst
aini
ngsoasi
fesonke.
”He
l
aughs.
Phil
a:“
inyourdr
eamsman.
”hesi
tsonhi
schai
r.
“HowcanIhelpyou?
”

Me:“Iwantyout odrawupdi vor cepapersfor

Sthabil
eassoonaspossi ble.Shehasbeenusi ng
mef oralltheseyearswehavebeent oget
her.The
ki
dsbel ongt oGary.Iwanthert or ecei
venothi
ng
andIwantt heki
dst ogetmai ntenanceeverymont h.
Iwantsomeonewhowi llbuyt hem clot
hesandall
necessiti
eseverymont h.Themoneymustnotgot o
Sthabil
e.”

Phi
la:“
wow.Iam sor
ryman.Idi
dn’
tknowyouwer
e
goi
ngt
hrought
his.Whendi
dyouf
indout
?”
Me:“afewdaysago.Iwasst
il
ltr
yingt
oprocess
ever
ythi
ngandthi
nkofmynextsteps.
”Hesighs.
Phi
la:“
okay.Youwil
lfi
ndthem r
eadyf
oryouwhen
youcomebackf r
om Li
bya.”

Me:“thatwouldbeverygoodmyfri
end.Ihave
askedforafamilymeeti
ngnextweekendwhereI
am goingtoexposeSthabi
le.
”
Phil
a:“
howareyouhol
dingup?
”heasksi
na
concer
nedvoi
ce.

Me:“t
aki
ngeachdayasitcomes.Iam goingtobe
okaypl
usGodhasblessedmewi t
hamagni fi
cent
woman,soIam goi
ngtobefi
ne.”Hesmiles.
Phi
la:“
yout
alki
ngaboutt
hatf
ineassar
chi
tect
sl
ashengi
neer?
”Il
augh.
Me:“
fuckyou.
”
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
11] :CHAPTER56

Iti
sFri
daymor ni
ngandweareatt heairpor t
.We
arewait
ingforZahandAri
awhoar ecomi ngwi t
h
mydress.AlsoDannyhasnotarr
ivedyet .Iam not
evensurethathei
scomingornot.Leeist heone
whoisholdingmyphonebecauseshef eel sli
keI
am st
ressi
ngandIkeeponcalli
ngt heother swho
havenotarri
ved.

ZahandAriaf
inal
lyar
ri
ve.Nowt heonlyperson
whoisnother
eisDanny.Iam goingtokil
lhim.Dad
keepsonl
ooki
ngatKuhleandshaki nghi
shead.I
knowhewantst osaysomethingbuthewon’tt
alk
nowasIam sti
llstr
essed.Fi
nall
ythequeenshows
up.Heisl
ooki
ngal lki
ndsofglam,you’
dswearheis
goingt
oafashi
onshow.

Danny:“
Bluebabes,
Iam sor
ryIam l
ate.Ihada…”
Me:“savei
t.
”Ir
aisemyhandt
ostophi
mfr
om
speaki
ng.“
Kuhl
epleasel
eadt
heway.
”

Kuhl
e:“pl
easefol
lowme. ”wefol
lowhimtowher e
t
hejeti
sandwecl imbi nsi
de.Weset
tl
einandthen
t
heplanetakesof
f .Dannycomesandsitnextt
ome.
Danny:“
areyouseri
ousl
ygoi
ngt
oignor
emef
or15
hour
s?”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“Idon’
twantyourexcuseDanny.Iam j
ust
happythatyouar
ehere.”

Danny:“
areyou?
”heaskst
il
ti
nghi
sheadt
othe
si
de.
Me:“
Iwi
llbeonceIhaveacockt
ail
inmyhand.
”
Danny:“
drunkar
d.”Il
augh.Il
ookatmypar
ent
s.

Me:“mom anddadt hi
si sDani
el,
af r
iendImadeat
Limpopoandthati
sAr iamyempl oyeeandyou
knowKuhle,t
heprince.Heismyf ri
endand
busi
nessassoci
ateanddadst oplookingathi
mli
ke
that
.Youaremakinghim uncomfortable.
”Dad
chuckl
es.

Dad:“apol
ogiesforthatson.Idi
dn’
tmeanto.I
t’
s
j
ustthatIgetuncomf ort
ablewhenamanlooksat
mydaught erl
ikethat.
”
Me:“
li
kewhatdad?
”
Dad:“
heknows.Whatdoesamanhavet
odot
oget
abeerar
oundher
e?”

Kuhle:“
letmegoandtel
lthewai
tert
opr
epar
e
ref
reshmentsf
oryou.
”
Me:“
andbr
eakf
astf
orme.
”hesmi
les.
Kuhl
e:“
asyouwi
shmyqueen.
”Hequi
ckl
ydashes
of
f.

Dad:“
myqueenhuh?Si
thul
esi
yabuka.
”
Noma:“
yesdad,si
thul
esi
yabuka.
”Shesaysgi
ving
measmirk.Imout
ha‘Fuckoff
’andshel
aughs.
.
.
Wel andaf t
erhoursoft r
avell
ingandt osaymybut t
i
ssor ewi l
lbeanunder stat
ement .Kuhle’
sjetis
comf ort
ablebutIhat esi
tti
ngf orlonghours.Iam
happyt hatweareal lgoi
ngt otheRadissonBl ue
hotel.SomehowKuhl e’
sassistantmanagedt oget
spacef orever
yone.Wedr i
vet hereandchecki n.I
actuall
ygotapr esidenti
alsuit
ebutIam notshar i
ng
wit
hanyone.Igett omyr oom, takeashowerf irst
andt hedrif
ttosleep.
.
.
Thefoll
owingmor ni
ngIam wokenupby
movement sinsi
dethesui
te.Isi
tupf
rom t
hebed
andlookaround.Iseeahelperwhoi
smoving
aroundtheroom.

Me:“
canIhel
pyou?
”
Helper:“
you’reawake?Goodmor ni
ngandwelcome
toRadissonBl uhot el
.IwassentbyPr i
nceKuhlet
o
giveyoual i
ghtbr eakfastandtowishyoual
lthe
bestfortoday.”Ismi l
e.Heraccentwhen
mentioni
ngKuhl e’snamei sver
yamusing.
Me:“
thankyou.Letmebr
ushmyt
eet
hfi
rst
.”

Igetupfrom thebedandheadt ot hebathroom.I

brushmyt eet
handt hendecidetot akeaquick
shower.WhenIam doneIwr apat owelaroundmy
waistandgobackt othebedroom.If indthebed
alr
eadymadeandt hehelpergone.Igot othe
balconyandsmi l
ewhenIseeapl ateoffoodwi th
j
uiceandabl ueflower.Thepri
ncei sromantic.The
seaviewissobeaut i
fulandactuall
yr ef
reshi
ng.Isit
downandeatmyl i
ghtbreakfast
.It
’st
wotoast
ed
sli
cesofbreak,
anegg,2stri
psofbaconand
tomatoes.

WhenIam doneeat i
ng, Il
oti
onmybodyandget
dressedinwhi tedr opshoul dertopandspl itsi
de
skirtsetwit
hwhi t
eHi baccisneaker s.Icombmy
hairandletitfalldown.Ihavet of i
ndasal onhere
sot hatIcandosomet hingaboutmyhai r.Iwanna
changet hecolour ,IhavebeenBl ueforfartoolong
now.Ipackmyt hingsi nmyhandbagandheadout .
IjustshakemyheadwhenIf indmyguar dsatthe
door .Wegot otheAlmi narestaurant.

Myf ami l
yandf r
iendsar ealr
eadysi t
tingatatabl
e.
Wej ointhem andbr eakfasti
sbr oughttoourtabl
e.I
guesst heyhadal r
eadyor dered.Thef oodher
eis
del
icious.Ayyther eviewIwillbegivingwhenI
l
eavet hishot
elwi l
lbegood.

Danny:“
nof
ir
eant
sthi
sti
mear
ound?
”heasks
dr
inki
nghi
sjui
ceandIbur
stoutl
augh.
Lee:“
whati
shet
alki
ngabout
?”

Me:“heee,Inearlydi
edi nLimpopo.Wewentt othis
l
odgewher ewewant edtohavebr eakf
astandt hey
didn’
twannal etusinbecausewewer ebarefoot.
Someonet alkedsomesenset othehostessand
theyfi
nal
lyal l
owedusi n,onlytoputfi
reantsinour
j
uice.Iwould’vebeen6si xfeetunderi
fitwasn’tfor
ahealert
hathel pedme. ”

Dad:“
whydi
dn’
tyout
ellust
his?
”
Me:“
Idi
dn’
twannabot
heryoudad.Pl
usIsur
vived.
”
Mom:“ butwedeservedt
oknowandweshoul
d
def
ini
telysuet
hatlodge.
”
Me:“
mom youar
eexagger
ati
ng.
”

Noma:“act
ual
lyIagr
eewi
thher
.”Il
ookatherwi
th
beggi
ngeyes.
Me:“
Nomacomeon.
”
Noma:“Ihavebookedthespaforus.Weare
headi
ngthereaf
terwefini
sheati
ngandafterthat
wearegoingtothesal
ontoourhairandnail
s.”

Me:“
youar
edi
smi
ssi
ngme,
justl
iket
hat
?”
Noma:“yep.
”Kuhl
echuckl
es.Igi
vehi
m adeat
h
st
areandhejustr
oll
shi
seyes.
.
.
Wear enowpr eparingfortheawar dsceremony.I
havedyedmyhai rbrown.Imustadmi tIam goi
ng
tomi ssbei ngBi l
li
eEili
sh.Mydr essiswow!Imean
Simami soMt hembuknowsherst uff.I
t’
sabeautif
ul
Xhosabl ackandwhi t
emer mai ddr esswitha
peplum.Iam al sowear ingneckbeadsandabl ack
headwr ap.Iam al sowear i
ngbl ackbut t
erf
lyand
rhi
nest onedécorsandal s.Ifeelli
keaXhosaqueen
ri
ghtnow.
Thedoortomysui t
eopensandi nenter
smyZul u
pri
nceorshouldIsayXhosapr i
ncebecausewow.
Hei sweari
ngani ceblacksui
tandwhi t
eshirtwit
h
umbhacocl ot
h,aXhosabeadedt i
eandheadband.
Hei sal
sowear i
ngbl ackf
loweredpri
ntperf
orated
dressshoes.Helookssohandsomer i
ghtnow.
FuckIloveyouKuhl e.Hesmiles.

Kuhl
e:“
Iloveyout
oo.
”Inear
lyf
aint
.Di
dIj
ustdo
whatIt
hinkIdi
d?
Me:“
didI
?”
Kuhl
e:“yes.
”Hecomesclosert
ome.“
Iloveyou
i
nfi
nit
ytimesinf
ini
tymyqueen.
”

Me:“Kuhlest
op.I
tjustsl
ipped.”Icovermyface
wit
hmyhands.“ WhatdidIjustdo?”hetakesmy
handsoffmyfaceandplacest hem i
nhischest
.

Kuhle:“
thi
sbeat
sf oryouonly.Plusyouar
erui
ning
yourmakeupbyt ouchingyourface.Youl
ookso
beauti
fulbytheway.Li
kemyt r
ueAfri
canQueen.
”I
j
ustmel tl
ikebut
ter
.HekissesmeandIjustki
ss
hi
m back.Someoneknocksont hedoorandwe
quickl
ybreaktheki
ss.

Me:“
comei
n.”Isayt
aki
ngmycl
utchf
rom t
hebed.

Noma:“ wowbabes. ”shesaysandIt urntolookat

herwit
hasmi l
e.“ Didwemi ssthememo?Cozi t
l
ooksliketodayisyourweddi ngday,bothofyou.”
KuhlelaughsandIj ustgiggle.Sheislooking
beauti
fulinabeigespandexst rapl
esssweetheart
mermai dcourttr
ai nformaldr essandgol dsti
let
to
heelsl
ip-onpointedt oelow-cutuppert hi
nshoes.

Kuhle:“i
maginehowwewoul dl
ooklikeonour
actual
lyweddingdayke?”Nomal aughsandIjust
blushrol
li
ngmyeyes.ThedooropensandLee
walksinlooki
ngsobeautif
ulinahualongsexydeep
V-neckcapeemer al
dgreenjumpsuitandbl
ackwide
fi
tNovabar el
ythereheel
edsandals.Myeyesjust
wat
er.

Me:“
guyswhydoyouhavetolooksobeauti
ful
?
Youarest
eal
ingmyspot
li
ght
.”Theyal
llaugh.
Lee:“Kuhlepl
easetel
lherthatshel
ooksabsolut
ely
stunningandshelooksli
keat r
uequeenthatshe
i
s.”
Me:“
aww.
”

Kuhle:“myqueenyoulookwonderful,beauti
ful
,
sexy,accompli
shed,
andsuccessful.Likeyouare
ontopoft heworl
dandeveryonebowst oyou.You
arejustperf
ect
”
Me:“
stopt
alki
ngorIam goi
ngt
ocr
y.”Theyl
augh.
Noma:“ l
ookatmecr yi
ngli
keafool
.”Shesays
wipinghereyes.Ij
ustgi
ggl
eandlookuptostopmy
tearsfr
om fal
li
ng.WhenIfi
nal
lycal
m downIlookat
alloft
hem.
Me:“
okayl
et’
sgogetmyawar
d.”
Lee:“
that
’sthespir
it
.”Weheadoutandf
indt
he
other
satthecorri
dor.

Mabut
ho:“youl
ookbeauti
fulbossbutt
hiswil
l
compl
eteyourl
ook.
”Hesayshandi ngmeablack
andwhi
tebeadedknobker
riewhichmatcheswit
h
myoutf
it
.
Me:“
thankyouver
ymuch.
”It
akei
t.
.
.
Wear enowseat edatthefrontrowofTr i
poli
Congr essCentre.WellIam seatingwi t
hKuhl e.I
chosehi mt oseatwithmebecauseMom i swi t
h
dad, LeewithNoma, myguar dstogether,Danny,
AriaandZahar ebonding.Theshowi samazi ng
reall
y.ThereareAf ri
canandi nternat
ionalartist
s
performing.Theawar dsceremonycomest oanend
andonl yonecat egoryisl
eft.TheBestAr chi t
ectof
theYear .Thepresenterst
artsspeaking.Iam so
ner
vousri
ghtnow.I
’
ddoanyt
hingf
orashotof
whi
skey.

Presenter:“ar
chi t
ectureshouldspeakofi t
stime
andpl acebutyear nfortimelessness.
”Thisisa
quotebyaf amousar chi
tectFrankGehrywho
designedt heiconicGuggenhei m Museum Bi l
bao.
“Muchl ikeapai ntedmast er
piece,ar
chit
ectureisan
artformt hathast heabil
itytodeli
ght,i
nspireand
tr
ansfor m.Inpur earchit
ecturethesmallestdetai
l
shouldhaveameani ngorser veapurpose.”

“Thefoll
owi ngarchitectshavebeendoi ngver y
goodf orthemselvesandhavebeengi vingthei
r
cli
entsandf oll
ower suniqueandspeci aldesigns.
Theyar eallspecialandt alented.Thenomi neesare
JosephineSheenf rom Or an,Algeri
a;Kostadin
Arri
gof r
om CapeCoast ,Ghana;Mi schaPr adofrom
Juba,Sout hSudan; Ntombi f
uthiCelefrom Durban,
SouthAf r
icaandPat ri
ckMuonagorf r
om Ni amey,
Niger.
”Wowal lthesenomi natedarchitect
sar e
amazi
ng.Ihaveseent
hei
rwor
k.

“Andthewinnerwhoi salsoar ecipi

entof$1000
000from t
heAf ri
canAr chi
tectur
eOr ganizat
ioni
s
Ntombif
uthiCelefrom SouthAf r
ica.
”Ifreeze.Li
ke
whattheactualfuck.Iam broughtbackbyKuhl e
shaki
ngme.Il ookathim withmyeyespoppedout .

Me:“
theyar
ecal
li
ngme?
”hel
aughs.
Kuhl
e:“
yes.Nowst
andup.
”

Me:“ pleaseholdmebecauseIam shaki ng.”He

standsupandhel psmet ostandup.Webot hwal k
tothest age.Thepr esenterhandsmet heawar d,t
he
wayIam shaki ng, event hisawardfeelsheavy.I
l
eanont hepodium sot hatIwon’tf
all.Ist
artbeing
emot ionalandIknowt hatt hi
sti
mear oundt herei
s
nost oppingthetearwor ks.Iqui
ckl
ywi pethem and
clearmyt hroat.
“Wow.Umm Iam nochur chgoerbutIwoul dfi
rst
l
iketot hankGodbecauseal lthi
swoul dn’thave
beenpossi blewi thoutHim.Iwannat hankmy
parents,Sijabul
ileandSi yabulel
aCelef orbeli
eving
i
nmeandmydr eamseversi nceIwasat eenager.
Ourindust ryisfil
ledwi t
hsuccessf ulment osuch
anextentt hatitmi ghtscareyout ostandoutand
goindependent .SoIwannat hankmypar entsagain
forencour agingmet ochasemydr eamseven
thought heyseemedl ikejustfai
rytal
eatf i
rst.
”Istop
andwi pemyt earsagai nwhichhaven’ tstopped
fal
li
ng.

“Iwannathankmyt wobestfri
ends, Dr.Lindelwa
NkosiandMi ssNomal angaBiyela,whohavebeen
theref
ormef or12year sandstil
lcount ing.They
havebeenmypi ll
arsinallaspectsofl if
eandI
thankthem forthat.Ialsowannat hankmysecond
dadandment orDr.Lethukuthul
aHl ongwaf orbei
ng
theref
ormeacademi call
yandfort eachingme
almosteverythi
ngIknowt oday.Iwannat hankall
myempl oyeesf orkeepingmyvi sionf orDubandlel
a
Const
ruct
ionCompanyal
ivet
il
lnow.
”

“Iwannat hankever ymemberofmyf amilywhohas

beentheref orme.Ial sowannat hankallmycl ient
s
forbeli
evingonmeandt rustingmewi t
ht heir
homes, compani esandal l.Ialsowannat hankmy
dearfri
endKuhl eforallthathehasdonef orme. ”I
turntostareathi m withasmi leandt hent ur
nback
totheaudi enceagain.“ Ialsowannat hankal lmy
fri
endsforbei nghonestandunder standingwi thme.
Thereisnot hingweal lneedanddeser veliketrue
fri
ends.”

“Ialsowannat hankmysel f.”Ever

yonel aughs.“I
wannat hankmysel fforbelievi
nginme, Iwanna
thankmyselffornotgi vingupevenwhent i
mes
wer edif
fi
cul
t,Iwannat hankmyselfforbei nggoal
drivenandhungr yforsuccess.Last l
yIwanna
thanktheAfri
canAr chi
tectureOrganizationfor
suchawonder fulopportunit
y.MartyNeumei eronce
said‘Themosti nnovativedesignersconsci ousl
y
rej
ectsthest
andar dopti
onboxandculti
vatean
appeti
tefort
hinkingwrong.’
Thankyouverymuch.”
Igobackt omyseat .Iam st
il
lshaki
ngbutatl
east
thetear
shavest opped.

Kuhle:“
thatwasamazi
ngandcongr
atul
ati
ons.
”He
sayssmili
ngtome.
Me:“
thankyou.
”Ismi
leback.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
12] :CHAPTER57

Wegett
othehot
elhobby.IknowIam usedt
o
wearingheelsbutIam kakt i
red.Zaht ookcar eof
themoneyIwonsoi ti
sgoingt orefl
ectonmy
personalaccountbyMondaymor ni
ng.It hinkit
’s
safetosayt hatIwil
lbewor t
hbi l
li
onsbyt heendof
nextyear.OMG!I t
’sactual
lyDecember .Ican’t
beli
eveIhavenotr eali
zedthat.Butnoonecan
blamemet hough.Thelastcoupleofdayshasbeen
sobusy.

It
’sst
il
lthefi
rstweekofDecembersoit’
sstil
lokay.
Iam al
sojusthappythatIam goi
ngtogivemy
employeesbonusesanditisn’
tgoi
ngtoleavea
woundinmyaccountoft hecompany’saccount.
NomashakesmeandIl ookather.

Noma:“bei
ngamil
li
onair
ecanmakeyoubl
ackout
heh?
”sheasksandtheyal
llaugh.
Me:“
noIwasjustt
hinki
ngt
hatIdi
dn’
treal
izet
hat
i
t’
sal
readyDecember.
”
Zah:“
yeah,
thepastmont
hhasbeensobusy.
”
Me:“youcansaythatagain.
”Kuhl
ecl
ear
shi
sthr
oat
andscrat
cheshi
shead.“ Whati
sit
?”
Kuhl
e:“anemergencyjustcamei
nsowehavet
o
l
eaveinabout30mi nut
es.”

Danny:“
andher
eIthoughtIwassti
llgoingto
mingl
ewitht
hesef
ineAfri
canbrot
hers.”Theyal
l
l
augh.
Noma:“okay.Let
’sgothen.
”Theyal
lleaveme
st
andi
ngwi thKuhle.
Me:“
whati
swr
ong?
”

Kuhl
e:“
Iwi
llsor
titout
,don’
twor
ry.
”
Me:“
okay.
”

Iheadtomysuite.If
ir
sttakeoutmycl ot
hesandgo
shower.WhenIam done,Igetdressedinmyblack
Loyal
tytr
acksui
ts,whi
teadidassocksandblack
Ver sacepal
azzopoolsl
ider
s.IputonaLoyal
ty
beani eonmyhead.Ipackallmybelongi
ngsand
thenheadout .Zamohtakemyluggageandweall
headdownt ot hel
obby.Wecheckoutandthen
drivetotheair
port
.
.
.
Wel andinSout hAf r
icaaround16:00.Iam sot ir
ed,
Ineedtosl eep.Weal lheadtothecar sanddriveout
oftheairport.Ij
ustputmyheadonThobeka’ slap
anddr i
fttosleep.Iam wokenupbysomeone
shakingme.Iwakeupandsi tupstraight.Iam
happyIam home, itl
ooksl i
kewear eatthegar age.
Wegetoutandheadi nsidethehouse.Wegett othe
l
oungeandIj usthearSURPRI SEscr eams.

Ij
umpupandscr eam.WowIwasn’ texpect
ingthis.
Tearsjustrolldownmyeyes.Theyal lbombar dme
withhugsandki sses.Everyonewhoknowsmei s
here,wellal
mostever yone.Mostofmycl i
ents,t
he
Ntulibr
others,Kuhl e’
sfri
ends,myempl oyees,my
fami
ly,mysecondparents(
Mr.andMr s.Hl
ongwa)
andotherpeopl
e.Ievenseemyneighbors.

Me:“
wowhiever
yone.
”Theyl
augh.
Xoli
:“comechangesot hatwecanst artt
hepar t
y.”I
smil
e.Shel eadsmet omyr oom.Ther eisapink
pai
npat chworkhighwai stwi
delegsjumpsui tand
bl
ackVer sacevir
tusleathermules.Myeyespop
outbecauseIknowt heyar ever
yexpensi ve.

Me:“
don’tt
ellmeyouboughtt
heseshoeswi
thyou
money.
”Shel aughs.
Xol
i:“
it
’st
hel
obol
amoneyboss.Iam r
ich.
”
Me:“
NOMXOLI
SI!
”Iexcl
aim.Shel
aughsagai
n.

Xoli
:“ki
dding.Phumudzoi
stheonewhopai
dfor
them.”Ismile.
Me:“l
etmefr
eshenupt
henIwi
llj
oinyouguysi
na
f
ew.”Shel
eaves.
Itakeaqui ckshowerandthengetdr essedinthe
cl
ot hestheyboughtforme.Idoaqui cknat ur
al
make- upandthenheaddownstairs.Ifindthe
peopleIwentwi tht
oLibyaindi
fferentoutfi
ts.

Me:“
youguysknewaboutt
his?
”theyal
llaugh.
Kuhl
e:“t
hemai
nreasonwhywel
eftLi
byai
na
hur
ry.
”
Me:“
wowyouconni
ving…”herai
seshi
seyebr
ow,
“
Handsomeman.
”theylaugh.

Lele:“
okaylet’
sgoout si
de.”Hetakesmyheadand
l
eadsmet othebackyard.Wow.Thi sismagnifi
cent
.
Themar queisplacedont opofthepool ,
well
it
coversthepool.Thetablesandchairsareseton
topofthepool.Thepooli scover
edwi thapool
glasscover.Il
ookatLele.

Me:“
youpl
annedal
lthi
s?”heshr
ugssmi
li
ng.
Lel
e:“somethi
ngl
ikethatbutIhadal
itt
lehel
pfrom
Xol
i,ThandoandLindsay.
”Iatt
ackhi
m withahug.
Me:“
Iloveyoubr
oandt
hankyou.
”

Lele:“Il
oveyoutoo.”Webreakthehugandhead
i
nsi dethemarque.Theawardisalr
eadynextt
othe
cake.Thedécori sver
ybeauti
ful
.It
s3shadesof
pinkwi t
hwhite.Heescor
tsmet omychair.

Me:“
thankyou.
”Isi
tdown.Li
ndsayandDannyt
ake
t
hemics.Yohthedr
amakenkosi.
Li
ndsay:“
heyguys,
Iam Li
ndsay.
”
Danny:“
andIam Danny.
”

Li
ndsay+Danny:“andwewel
comeyout
oFut
hy’
s
Cel
ebrat
orydi
nnerpart
y.”

Theycal
lafewspeaker
swhosespeechest
ouchme.
Li
keever
yoneissolovi
ng.I
twar
msmyhear t.Iam
actuall
yshockedt oseeBusihere.Shelookshappy,
ormaybeshei spr et
endi
ng,Idon’tknowandIdon’ t
care.LeleandSakhilet
akethestageandper for
m
theirl
atestcol
labowhichisdope.Thobekaisbusy
blushi
ngl i
kecrazyandIjustchuckle.Isi
gnalGcino
tocomeandhecomest omyt able.

Gci
no:“
heysi
s.”
Me:“
hey.Tel
lthepersonwhoisinchar
geoft he
f
oodthatIam hungr
y.”Hechuckl
esandleaves.

Wel lstarter
shavebeenser vedbutIam ver yhungry.
Ineedr ealfood.Luckilyaft ertheperformance
Dannyannouncest hatdinneri sserved.Food
comesandIdi gi ninstantly.Whi l
eeatingeveryone
turnst olookatt heentr ance.Ialsotur ntoseethe
Zulur oyals.Dannyusher st hem toavacantt able.I
guesst heyknewt hattheroyal sarecomi ng.They
sitdownandt heyar equickl yservedwi t
hfood.
Danny:“ Ihaveneverfel
tasimpor t
antasIam
feeli
ngr ightnow.Iam i
nthepresenceoft heroyal
s,
celebriti
esandveryinfl
uenti
alpeople.Bluemy
fri
end, yourhearti
sthereasonwhyever yonei shere
today.Todaywegett oseeyourhear twithourown
eyest hroughalmosteveryoneinhere.”Igiggleand
wipemyeyes.Thesepeopl eareturningmet oan
onion.

Lindsay:“
ncooh, youaremaki nghertearup. ”
everyonelooksatmeandIj ustcovermyf acewith
myhands.“ Nevert houghtIwouldseet hebossl ady
shy.Thingsarehappeni nggoodpeopl e.”Ijust
l
aughr emovingmyhandsf r
om myf aceandt akea
si
pf rom myjuice.

Danny:“
wewoul dtocal
lDr.Hlongwat osayafew
wordsaboutoursuper
womanher e.
”Hlongwa
comestothestageandtakethemi c.
Hl
ongwa:“
hiangel
.”Ibl
ush.
Me:“
heydad.
”
Dad:“
yey!
”heshout
sandweal
llaugh.

Hlongwa:“ couldn’tyouletmegetawaywi ththi

s?”
dadr ollshiseyesandIl augh.“Mypr incessIam
overt hemoonaboutt his.It’
sli
keIam t heonewho
receivedt hisawar d.Ihavebeenboast i
ngtoal most
everyonewhocar estogivemet heirattent
ion.Iam
l
ike‘thi sismydaught er,shewast aughtbymeand
Iment oredher .
’Yourspeechatt heceremonywas
j
ustat ipoft heiceberg.Thankyouf ormaki ngme
proudandIwi shyoual lthebesti nl
ifenana.”I
standupandhughi m.Ithengobackt omyseat
andwi pemyt ears.Heal sogoesbackt ohisseat .
LeeandNomat akesthest age.

Lee:“l
ikeDr.Hl
ongwa, Ialsofeell
ikeIam t
heone
whowont hi
sawar d.Myf ri
endIam sohappyf or
you.Youknowwhenwef i
rstst
rat
egizedDCCatr es
wewer eli
ke‘wear egoingtojusthaveanofficein
Durbanwher ecl
ientswillcomeandseeyou’ .That
wasdur i
ngourfirstyear.Astheyearswentby, i
n
ourt
hir
dyearyouchanged.Ir ememberthisdaylike
i
twasyesterday.Yousai
d‘li
stenbatase,
everyt
hing
i
spossibl
ewhenIhaveasuppor tsyst
em li
keyour s
soIam goingtostar
tahugecompany.Youknow
mybursarypaysR3000allowance,soIhavebeen
savi
ngR1500ever ymonth.’
.
”nomat akesover.

Noma:“ yousaid, ‘
Ialr
eadyhaveR36000i nmybank
mi nusthei nt
erest.IknowthatDr .Hlongwaisgoi
ng
togi vemeani nter
nship.WhenIst artworki
ngIam
alsogoi ngtocont inuesavi
ng.Iam t el
li
ngyou
within6year sIam goi ngtostar
tmyown
company. ”Ichokeonmyt ear
sbecauseIcan’ t
believetheyact uallyr
emembert hingsIusedtosay
i
nvar si
ty.

Lee:“yeswelistenedtoyou.Evenwhenyouwer e
drunk,youwoul dmumbl ethatonedayyouwould
walkinar oom andnothavet oint
roduceyour
sel
f
becauseyourr eputat
ionwil
lprecedeyou.
”
Me:“juststoptal
king.”Ist
andupandgohugt hem
ti
ght.Wej ustcr
yi neachother
’sarms.Whenwe
havefinal
lycalmeddown, webr eakt
hehugand
ret
urntoourseat s.

Danny:“youguysar efr
iendshipgoals.
”Ichuckle.I
smilewidelywhenIseeDakal o,Maumel a,Bonoand
Aluenteri
ngt hemarque.Thepr ogr
am continues
andtimecomesf ormetosayavot eoft hanks.I
standandt akethemic.

Me:“ Idepl
etedmyEngl i
shbundl esinLibya.”
Everyonelaughs.“ WhenIwasi nmyear lyteens,
mom boughtmeadi ary,Iam pr ett
ysur etowr i
te
howmydaywas, whoIsaw, whichboyIl i
ked.But
i
nsteadofwr i
ti
ngIdr ew.Whent heybot hsawmy
desi
gns, dadbr oughtasket chbookt hatmont hend
homeandmom br oughtdr awingmat eri
als.Bythat
ti
meIdi dn’tevenknowwhatanadj ustabletr
iangl
e
i
sbutIknewhowt ouseit.
”Theyl augh.“Mommy. ”
Shelooksatmewi t
hasmi le.Iclearmyt hroatand
st
artsi
ngi
ng.

“
SeeIrememberl
ikei
twasj
ustyest
erdaywhenyou
t
oldme,
ThatIcoul
dbeanyt
hing
Anyt
hingi
nthewor
ldasf
arasIcoul
ddr
eam
Yougavesomet
hingoutofnot
hingi
tspl
aint
osee
Godbl
essedyouwi
thagi
rlt
hatyour
aisedf
rom a
ki
dtoaqueen
Thankyoumama.”Ist
opandmostpeopl
echeer
andscream.Mom i
sacryi
ngmessri
ghtnow.

Me:“
Lwandl
e’
sdad.
”Dadlooksatmewit
hasmile.
Hi
sarmisonhi
swif
e’sshoul
der,
comf
orti
ngher
.
“
Hedoesn’
tfi
ghtcr
ime
Orwearacape
Hedoesn’
treadmi
nds
Orl
evi
tat
e
Butever
yti
memywor
ldneedssavi
ng
He’
smysuper
man
Somef
olksdon’
tbel
ievei
nher
oes
‘
Causet
heyhaven’
tmetmydad.

Hebui
ltmeahousei
nthear
msofat
ree
Het
aughtmet
odr
ive,
andt
ofi
ght
,andt
odr
eam
Whenhel
ooksi
nmyeyesIhopehecansee
Thatmydad’
saher
otome

Mydad’
saher
otome
Mydad’saherotome.”Ist
opsingi
ngandl ookat
him.Hehashisheadbowed.Iknowheiscr yi
ng.I
l
ookaroundandmostpeoplearesni
ff
ing.Iclearmy
thr
oat.

Me:“
Iam sor
ryformaki
ngyouguysemot
ional
.It
’s
j
ustt
hatJabuandLel
ahasdonesomuchf orme
andIfeell
ikeasimpl
et hankyouisn’
tenough.They
aremywor ldandImightnotmaket i
metoseet hem
asoft
enasIwi shbutyouguysar esoimportantt
o
me.Il
oveyousomuch. ”Tearsf
alldownmyeyes
anddadcomest ohugme.Heki ssesmyf orehead.
Dad:“
Iloveyousomuchmysecondl
ove.
”

Me:“Iloveyoutoomyf ir
stlove.”hecal lsmethat
becauseBusiishi sfi
rstl
oveast hef i
rstbornandI
am hissecondlove.Webr eakthehugandhegoes
backtohisseat.“Todayt heyfedmeoni onsso
that
’swhyIam t eari
ngup. ”everyonel aughs.
“ThankyouLelef ororganizi
ngt his.Il
oveyouso
muchbhut iandBusi ,
ThandoandGci no, Il
oveyou
guyssomuch. ”

“
Thankyout oeveryonewhocame.Youguysareal
l
i
mportantandthankyouforcomi
ngtothi
slast
minut
edinner.
”
Lel
e:“act
ual
lyi
twasn’t
.Itwasj
ustal
astminuteto
you.
”hesaysstandi
ngnexttome.Ij
ustchuckl
e.
Me:“wel
lenj
oytherestofyoureveni
ng.FYII
desi
gnedandbuiltt
hishousefr
om scrat
chsothi
s
i
soneofmydesi gns.”
Zah:“
level
sboss.
”
Me:“nj
e.”Isaysmi
rki
ngandever
yonel
aughs.
Dannytakesbackt
hemic.

Igoinsidethehouset ochanget otheslider

sIwas
wearingearli
eronandgobackout sidetomi ngl
e
withtheguests.Igotot heHlongwasf i
rstandhug
them.Theybr oughttheirador
ablekidswi t
h.We
hugandt heytellmet heyareleavi
ng.Wesayour
goodbyesandt heyleave.Ithenheadt omy
grandparentswhoar esiti
ngwi t
htherestofthe
famil
y.

Gr
andmakissesmeont
helipsandIgi
ggle.
Gr
andpahugsmeandki
ssesmycheek.It hen
moveontosomeofmycli
entsandcol
leagues.We
exchangehugsandsomet ellmet hatt heyar e
l
eaving.IalsogototheNtulibrothersandt hey
congr at
ulat
eme.Iam happyt oseet hatthereisno
badbl oodbetweenSandil
eandme.Ibi dfarewel
ls
andt hengot ot
heWomal enaf amily.They
congr at
ulat
emeandt heytellmet hatt heygavethe
gift
st oThando.Idi
dn’
tevenknowt herewer egif
ts.
Ithenmovet ot
heZuluroyals.

Me:“
sani
bonaniandt
hankyouf
orcomi
ng.
”
Li
sa:“wewouldn’
tmissitf
ortheworl
d.”Sheended
upnotgoingt
oLibyabecauseshefoundoutthat
herparent
sar
eplanningondoingumemuloforher.

Mkhul
uli
:“youar
ebeaut
if
ulsi
si.
”Ismi
le.
Sbo:“
weari
ngpant
sinthepr
esenceofyouri
n-l
aws
makoti
.Youar
egoingt
opay.”Il
augh.

Me:“i
fwewer
en’
tinmyhouse,
Iwoul
dent
ert
ain
you.
”
Mthembu:“
Ibeli
eveyouowemeanapologymy
queen.
”Il
ookathim andt
hencovermyf
acewi
th
myhands.Theylaughatme.

Me:“t
hankyouf
orsavi
ngmylif
eandIam sor
ryf
or
t
hreat
eni
ngyou.
”hechuckl
es.
Mthembu:“
it
’swat
erundert
hebr
idge.
”Theki
ng
st
andsup.

Ki
ng:“t
akemet oyourf
atherMaCel
e.”Ismil
eand
l
eadhimt othepat
iowheremyfat
herisseat
edwit
h
hi
sbrothers.
Me:“daddy,
someonewant
stot
alkt
oyou.
”he
smil
esandstandsup.
Dad:“
oldf
ri
end.
”Theybr
ohug.Iguessdadf
orgave
hi
m.

*
KidXf
eatTheeLegacy–mama
*
OwlCi
ty–NotAl
lHer
oesWearCapes
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
12] :CHAPTER58

*
**KUHLE*
**

Todayi sSaturday,t
hedayoft hemeet i
ng.Sthabil
e
wassupposedt oarri
veyest er
daybutshecameup
withapet t
yexcuse.Ihavebeencr yingsinceI
arri
vedhereyest er
day.Ididn’tevengodownst ai
rs
fordinnerl
astnightandbr eakfasttoday.I
understandthatIdon’tf
eel anylovel ef
tforSthabi
le
becauseIf el
loutofloveforherl ongago.Butt he
si
tuat
ionwit
hmykidsi
sverydi
ff
erent
.Thedoor
opensandmymotherwal
ksinwit
hKaMahlaba,
dad’
ssecondwi
fe.

Iam closewi t
hal loft
hem becausetheytreatmy
mot herwellandt heydolovemyf at
her.Thethir
d
wifeisMaShezi .Sheisfrom Jozi
niandshehas4
kidswithdad.Dadhassupersper ms,Itel
lyou.The
fourthwifeisMaDubazaneandshei sfrom
Mhlabuyalingana.Shehas5ki dswithdad.Shehas
twopai r
soft wins.ThelastoneisMaMol efeand
shei sfr
om Mokopane.Shei s3yearsyoungerthan
me.

Shehas2ki dswit
hdad.Manysayt hatshei
swi th
dadbecauseofmoneyandf ame.Iwouldsay
other
wisebecauseIhaveseenhowshei swithdad
butaft
erwhatSthabi
ledi
dt ome,t
hereisnothingI
canputpastwomen.Mot herandKaMahlabasi t
s
oneit
hersideofmybed.
Mom:“
Konke.
”
Me:“
ma.
”
Mom:“
tal
ktous.Whati
swr
ong?
”Icovermyf
ace
wi
thmyhands.

Me:“ ever
ythi
ngma.Fi
rstthi
ngsfir
st,youdon’
thave
grandchil
drenfr
om me.
”Iremovemyhandsf rom
myf acetolookatt
hei
rreact
ions.Theyseem very
shocked.

KaMahlaba:“whatareyout al
kingaboutSt huli
?”al
l
mymot hershaveaspeci alnamei nwhicht heycall
me.Mymot hercal
lsmeKonke, KaMahlabacal l
s
meSt hul
iwhichismyclanname, andMaShezi
cal
lsmeNkosanabecauseIam t hefir
stprince.
MaDubazanecal l
smeHl ehle.Iknowi t’
sagi rl
’
s
namebutshei smymom andIhaveasof tspotfor
al
lthesewomen.MaMol efecallsmeKgosiwhi ch
meansking.
Me:“maSthabil
ehasbeenusi ngmeallthi
stime.
Sheneverl
ovedme.Shewasj ustusi
ngmef ormy
fameandweal t
handsecuri
ty.Thekidsarenot
mine.Shei
sdat i
ngmynumberonenemesi s.They
havebeentogetherf
oraver
yl ongti
me.Evenl ong
befor
ewemet .”

KaMahlaba:“
yoh.
”shestandsup.“Letmegocal
l
yourot
hermother
s.”Sheleaves.
Mom:“
howdi
dyouf
indoutaboutt
his?
”
Me:“whatdoyout
hinkLi
sai
sdoi
ngbacki
nthe
count
ry?”

Mom:“ Iam sor

rybabazi
.”Shehugsmet ightand
shesniff
s.Iknowhowshel ovemykidssot his
mustalsobehar donher
.Myot hermotherswalkin
andsitonthebed.MaShezisit
sonthecouch.She
hasaspi r
it
ualgi
ftsosometimessheisol
ates
her
self.
Me:“didyouknowma?
”Isayl
ooki
ngather
.She
shakesherhead.
MaShezi:“
yoursneakyancest
orsaresecret
ive
Nkosana.Theycanbefrust
rat
ingsometimes.”
MaMol
efe:“
whatisgoi
ngonKgosi
?”mom nar
rates
t
hewhol
estoryandwhenshei
sdonetheyal
lcry.

MaDubazane:“
nowwhati
sthewayf
orwar
d
Hl
ehl
e?”
Me:“ Iam goingtodi vor
ceherandbani shherfrom
here.ButIam st i
llgoingtotakecareofmyki ds.
Justt hatIwon’tgivehermai nt
enancemoney
becauseshemi ghtmai ntai
nhersel
fandf or
get
aboutt hekids.
”

KaMahl aba:“
youar
ekindheartedSthul
i.Iwoul
d’ve
ki
lledherifIwer
eyou.Thisbit
chhasbeent oyi
ng
withyouandyourfeel
ingsformorethan8years.
Divorceandbanisnotenoughpunishment.”
Me:“
fat
hercandeci
deonani
ntensi
vepuni
shment
butf
ornowt
hat
’swhatIam goi
ngt
odomysel
f.
”

Mom:“ Iwi
shitwassti
llt
heol
derdaysbecauseshe
woul
d’vebeenstonedt
odeath,Iam t
ell
ingyou.
”
Me:“
mom t
hinkaboutt
heki
ds.
”

MaMol ef
e:“shedi
dn’
tthi
nkaboutthem whenshe
usedthem asapawninhergames. ”Someone
knocksonthedoorandthenent
ers.It’
sthehead
maidandhousekeeper
.
Housekeeper
:“YourMaj
est
ies,
theGcabaf
ami
ly
hasarr
ived.
”Mymot her
sst
andup.

Me:“pl
easebei
ngmyki
dst
omer
ightnow,
theki
ds
onl
y.”
Housekeeper
:“YourMaj
est
y.”Shel
eaves.
MaShezi
:“wewillseeyoudownst air
sNkosana.I
t’
s
t
imetoplaygoodhost.”Theyallheadout.Few
momentslat
erthekidsgetinandr usht
omybed.
Theyat
tackmewi
thhugs.

Amahl
e:“
Amahl
e’
sfat
her
.”
Me:“daddy’
spr
incess.Imi
ssedyousomuchmy
pr
incess.
”
Amahl
e:“
Imi
ssedyout
oodad.
”
Me:“howaboutyouchamp?Di
dn’
tyoumi
ssme?
”
herol
lshi
seyes.

Zweli
:“youknowImi ssedyoudad.Ther
eisno
needformet ospel
litout
.”Il
aughbecausehei
s
al
waysl i
kethi
s.
Amahl
e:“
hewascryi
ngyest
erdaybecausemom
sai
dwecoul
dn’
tcome.Hesaidhemisseddad.
”

Zwel
i:“
snit
ch.
”Hesayswant i
ngtohither
.Istop
hi
m bytaki
nghim andput
ti
nghim onmyl ap.
Me:“
youknowIl
oveyour
ight
?”
Zwel
i
:“Il
oveyoumor
edad.
”Hesayshuggi
ngme.

Amahl
e:“
Ial
sol
oveyoudad.”Shesaysjoini
ngin
ont
hehug.Wet
henbreaki
tandtheysitinfr
ontof
me.
Me:“whatwouldyousayi
fIwer
etot
ellyout
hatI
am notyourr
ealdad?
”
Amahl
e:“
no!
”sheshoutsandst
artscr
ying.“
You
ar
emydaddy.
”Itakeheri
ntomylap.

Me:“ Ididn’
tsayIwasn’ tyourdad.Iam yourdad
andyouar emyf i
rstprincess.
”IlookatZwel iwho
l
ookssad.“ Andyouar emyf i
rstpri
nce.”Ihughim
too.Ithoughtitwoul dbeeasyt oletthem gobutit
i
snot .Ihavedeci dedt hatIam goingt ofil
efor
pri
mar ycust odyoft hem.Thandi sil
e,whoi s
MaMol efe’
slastborncomet otakethem andt heygo
tothepl ayroom.Igetdr essedformallyandt hen
headdownst air
s.
Me:“ mor ni
ngeveryone,Iwouldli
keust ogot othe
conferencer oom.”Isayandgot here.Theyfoll
ow
me.Ii ndicat
emyheadbodyguar d,Mpendul oto
fol
lowus.Wegeti nsideandsettl
edown.The
peopleinher earemyf ather
,3ofthecounci l
member s,mydad’s2youngerbr others,Sboand
Nompi lowhoi sKaMahl aba’
sfir
stborn,Sthabil
e,her
mot her,fat
her,si
ster
,auntandthreeuncl es.

Mr .Gcaba:“nowcanwegetdownt obusiness?”he
saysinaf ir
mt onebutIknowt hatwil
ldisappear
soon.IsignalMpendul otocomef or
wardandhe
handseachandever yoneevidenceabout
Sthabil
e’smischi ef
s.Theyallstar
treadi
ngand
somegaspast heysuckinthei nf
ormati
onont he
papers.IsignalMpendul oagainandt hi
stimehe
handsSt habileanothersetofpapers.Hereyespop
outandsher aisesthem t
olookatme.

St
habi
le:“
Kuhl
eI…”
Me:“
savei
t.Thosepaper
sst
atecl
ear
lyt
hatIam
divor
cingyouandyouarenotgoingtogetacent
from me.Youareal
sobani
shedf rom everent
eri
ng
theroyalgr
ounds.
”MaShezigruntsandweal ll
ook
ather.

MaShezi :“theancestorswantyout ocleansethe

royalgroundswi th3goat s.Oneforeachchildand
onef orthemot her.Assoonaspossi blebecauseif
youdon’ t,
yourkidsar egoingtodie.Theancestors
willshowt heirwraththroughthem.”Sthabi
lesnif
fs.
Whatwassheexpect ing?Playi
ngtheroyal
ancestorsandget tingawaywi thi
t?

Me:“
alsoIam goi
ngtofil
eprimar
ycust
odyformy
ki
dsmeaningtheywi
llconti
nuest
ayi
ngwit
hme. ”
Sthabi
le’
ssist
er:“t
hat
’sabsur
d.Youcan’tdot
hat
becausetheyaren’
tyourki
ds.
”Ichuckl
e.

Me:“
Ihavebi
rt
hcerti
fi
cat
esst
ati
ngotherwi
seandi
f
weweretogotocour
twhowouldbel
ieveamere
commoneroverapr i
nceandaf utur
eking?
”she
shutsup.“
Youwi l
lgett
ospendweekendsand
schoolhol
idayswit
hthem butnotallt
heholi
days.
”
St
habi
le:“
Kuhl
ecomeon.
”

Me:“si
gnthepapers.
”Shesitssti
ll
.Ichuckleagai
n.
“I
fyoudon’tsi
gnthem Iwi
llsueyouforallofthe
moneyIhavespentonAmahl eandZwel iand
brot
herhowmuchi sit
?”
Sbo:“
roughl
ysevenf
igur
esbaf
o.”Shegasps.

Me:“afterthatIwil
lpubli
cizethedivorceandits
cause.Youwantmet odot hat?
”sheshakesher
head.Shet akesthepeninf rontofherandsigns.
“Don’teventhinkofplayi
ngmewheni tcomest o
mybabi esbecauseyouwi l
lregretit
.Nowwhenar e
youcomi ngt oappeasetheancest ors?
”Mr .Gcaba
clear
shi st
hr oat
.

Gcaba:“
wewi
llsee.Maybei
nGoodFr
iday.
”Uncl
e
Sakhisi
zwelaughs.Heistheprobl
em sol
verwhi
le
UncleSakhumuziisthehotheadedone.Theyar
e
twi
ns.

Sakhi si
zwe:“aweekisallyouhave.Youhave
fooledthem longenough.Thereisnoneedtowait
anyl onger
.Ifyoudon’t
,Sthabil
e’
schil
drenwil
ldi
e
withintwoweeks.Maket herightchoi
ce.”
Mr
s.Gcaba:“
fi
ne.Wewi
llcomebacknextSat
urday
wi
tht
hegoats.
”
Me:“
that
’sgoodt
ohear
.”

King:“nowl eave.Ifyoudon’tcomebackonFr i
day
youar egoingt oregretit
.Notonlywil
lthekids
sufferbutyourwhol ef amil
ywillf
eelmywr ath.
LEAVE! ”heshout swi t
hadeepvoi ceandtheyall
getupqui cklyandr ushout.

Mom:“nowwhoisthisfamousMaCelepeopl
ehave
beenwhi
sper
ingabout?
”SboandIlaughwhil
edad
chuckl
es.
Nompi
lo:“
Ial
sowoul
dli
ket
oseeher
.”

Sbo:“j
ustGoogl
eherf
am.AndIam sureshei
s
goingt
ocomet oLi
sa’
sumemulobecauseshei
s
fondofher.
”
Sakhumuzi:“
Ihopeshei
sn’
tasconni
vingas
Sthabi
le.
”
Sbo:“t
hatoneisaself
-mademill
ionai
re
babomncaneandsoonshei sgoi
ngt obea
bi
ll
ionai
rebecausesheisver
ywiseandgoal
dri
ven.”
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
12] :CHAPTER59
*
**KUHLE*
**

It
’stwoweeksaf tert hemeet i
ngwiththeGcaba
fami l
y.Theydidcomeandappeaset heancestors.
Mt hembut henadvisedmet opaylobolaf
ormyki ds
sot hatIcanbuyt hem andt hatt
heycanusemy
surnamewi t
houtget ti
ngsick.Wewentandpai d
l
obol athefoll
owingMondayandal somadeahuge
ceremonyatt hepal ace,off
ici
all
ywelcomingthem
i
nt hef amil
yandgi vingthem mysur nameri
ghtfully.

Myf r
iendPhilacamet hroughforme.Inowhave
ful
lcustodyofmyki ds.Mydi vor
ceisalsof i
nali
zed.
Iam nowt r
avelli
ngwithdadt oDurban.Lisa’
s
umemul oisthisweekend.Iam goingtot al
kto
Futhyandtellhereveryt
hingandpossiblyinvit
eher
toumemul o.Ihopeshedoesn’ thaveplansalready.
Thekidsareatt
heGcabaf amil
ybuttheyare
comingbackonFriday.Imadesuretheygowith
guar
dsandaper sonalmaidsothatSthabi
lewon’
t
tr
yanythi
ng.

Me:“dadIwantyout ogotel
lyourf
ri
endthatIam
bri
nginglobolaforFuthyi
nthesecondweekof
January.Idon’twannawaitl
ongtomakehermy
wif
eandIdon’ twanthertobejustmygir
lfr
iend.
”
Helaughs.
Dad:“
haveyout
alkedwi
thhert
hough?
”

Me:“Iam goi
ngt
her
enow.Iknowshelovesme.
Shesaidi
tsoher
sel
f.Andwheret
her
eislove,
ther
e
i
saway. ”
Dad:“howromant i
c.”Hesayssarcast
icall
y.Il
augh
andhealsolaughs.Wegett omyhouse.Ichange
andthendri
vetoherhouse.Ifindherwi t
hher
fr
iendsandsibl
ings.
Me:“sani
bonani
.”Theyal
lgr
eetmeback.“
CanI
haveamomentMaCel e?”
Futhy:“
okay.”Shestandsup.Fuckshei swearing
bum short
sandaspor t
sbra.Youcani maginethe
l
evelofsexinesssheisshowing.“Let
’sgotothe
backyardbecauseit
’shoti
nher e.
”sheleadsthe
wayandIf oll
owher.Myeyesar egluedtoherhi ps
andass.“Stoplooki
ngatmyassKuhl e.
”Ilaugh.

Me:“
Ican’
thel
pit
.”
Fut
hy:“
per
ver
t.
”

Me:“ wellIam yourper

vertsodealwit
hit
.”She
giggles.Isi
tononeoft hepoolchai
rsandpullher
tositont opofme.
Fut
hy:“
cont
rolyourdi
ckKuhl
e.”Il
augh.

Me:“ithasami ndofi
tsown.”Sherol
lshereyes.
“Thereissomethi
ngIneedtotel
lyou.
”Isayina
seri
oust one.
Futhy:“
Iam al
lears.
”Inarr
atethewholeSthabi
le
sagaandhermout hfal
lswideopenwhilehereyes
popout.Shetakesti
met ocal
m down.“Sothat’
s
whyyouwer ecryi
ngthatday?”Ichuckl
e.

Me:“
your
emember
?”
Fut
hy:“mymindcapt
uresmanythingsandi
mages.
Iam sor
ryt
hatyouwentthr
oughthat.
”

Me:“Iwil
lbef
ine.Ij
ustwantyoutoagreet
obemy
gi
rl
fri
end.
”Sheclear
sherthroatandt
ri
estomove
butIhol
dherdown.
Futhy:“
don’tyout
hinkyouar
emovingont
oof
ast
?I
don’twannabeareboundKuhle.
”

Me:“youwoul d’
vebeenoneifIdidn’
tloveyouprior
theSthabi
lesaga.RememberhowmuchIl ovedyou
andevenwi shedtodivor
ceSthabil
ebeforeallt
he
secr
etscameout ?”shenods.“Il
oveyouFut hywith
myallandIwoul ddoanythi
ngt ohaveyouasmy
f
utur
ewi
fe.
”Shegi
ggl
es.

Futhy:“don’
ttel
lmeyouareproposing.
”Shesays.I
j
usttakeoutanengagementringfrom mypocket
andslideiti
ntoherri
ngfi
nger
.Hereyespopout .
“KuhleIdidn’
tsayyes!
”sheshouts.
Me:“
youdi
dn’
tsaynoei
ther
.”Shel
aughs.

Fut
hy:“
youar
ecr
azy.
”
Me:“
andyoul
oveMe.
”shegi
ggl
es.
Fut
hy:“
youbetyourassIdo.
”Shecupsmyface
andki
ssesme.Iki
ssherback.Wefi
nal
lybr
eakit
.

Me:“
Ihopeyouhaveyourout
fi
treadyf
orumemul
o
kaLi
sa.
”Shesmil
es.
Futhy:“shehasbeenr emindi
ngmeaboutitdayand
ni
ght.You’ dswearIam theonecomingwi
th
Umhl wehlwe.”Il
augh.“Bytheway,mysi
bli
ngsand
fr
iendsar ecoming.
”
Me:“t
her
eisnoguestl
istMaCel
eplusthisi
sar oyal
event
.Manypeopl
earegoingt
obet her
e.Ial
so
havetoi
ntr
oduceyout
omymot her
sandsibl
ings.”
Fut
hy:“
youar
emovi
ngt
oof
ast
.”

Me:“MaCeleIam aprincesoIam notgoi

ngt
ohave
alongengagement.IdidsayIam goi
ngtowi
feyou
onGoodFr i
day.
”
Fut
hy:“
howcanIfor
get
?”shesayssar
cast
ical
ly
andIl
aughather
.
.
.
*
**FUTHY*
**
Thishasbeenagr eatyearforme.Manyt hi
ngs
havehappenedatDCC, greatthi
ngsandaf ew
problemsbutIam happywi thhowweendedour
year.Ihavegivenmyempl oyeesthei
rbonusesand
tosayt heywerehappywoul dbean
under st
atement.Wecloseddownoneoft hecl
ubs
wher
ewecelebr
atedanddr
ankl
iket
her
eisno
t
omorrow.

Iam happyt hatIam goingtolaunchmyJHB

offi
cesinMayandmyCapeTownof fi
cesinJune.I
canalreadyforeseethegoodr esul
tsofthis
expansion.Iam thi
nkingofsendingZaht obethe
CEOoft heJo’burgbranchbecauset hat’
swhere
Mbusoi sbasedbutshewi l
lhavetoprovehersel
f
forthefi
rstfourmonthsnextyear .

Canyoubel ievethatIreconcil
edwi thBusi?Wel l
shefinall
ytoldmet hatshewasj eal
ousofmef rom
ayoungage.Shewasj ealousofmybeaut yandmy
passionateself.Shewasj eal
oust hatIhadbi g
dreamsatayoungagewhi l
eshehadnoambi ti
ons
atall
.Iunder st
oodherr easoningandf orgaveher.I
am notabi t
terpersonsoIdon’ tholdgr udges.We
arenotbestf ri
endsbutwear eokay.

Ri
ghtnowIam l
azi
ngar
oundwi
thmysi
bli
ngs,
GcinoandThando, Lee,NomaandZah.Wewer e
supposedtogot ot hebeachbecausei t’
shotbutwe
decidedtogot onight .Whilechat
ti
ng,Kuhlecomes
i
n.heasksf orachancet ospeakwithmeandIl ead
himt othebackyar d.Iwasnotexpect i
ngever yt
hing
hetoldme.Fr om theSt habil
esagatothesudden
engagement .Lovecanmakeyoucr azyItellyou.

Me:“ar
en’tyousupposedtobeatNongomasot
hat
youcanmoni t
orthatever
ythi
ngi
sdone
accor
dingl
y?”
Kuhl
e:“Icametoseeyou.Iam goi
ngback
t
omorrowmi dday.
”

Me:“ okay,l
et’sgobackinsidesothatIcangetyou
somet hingtoeatanddrink.”westandupandhead
i
nsidet hehouse.Igettotheloungeandl ookatmy
fri
ends.“ Bi
tchesguesswhoi sgett
ingmar ri
edand
i
sgoi ngt obecomet heonlyqueenoftheZul u
kingdom?Not etheuseofthewordonl y.
”They
jumpupscr eamingandcomet ohugme.Il augh.
Noma:“
letmeseet
her
ing.
”Ishowt
hem t
her
ing.
Lee:“
it
’sbeaut
if
ul.Ican’
twai
tfort
hewedding.Fi
rst
everweddi
ngtohavet womaidofhonor
s.”
Noma:“
yest
ase.
”Igi
ggl
e.

Me:“wil
lseeyouj
ustnow-now.Ihavetomake
somethi
ngtoeatf
orfutur
ehubby.”Theyscr
eam.
Zah:“
fl
exwenabossl
ady.
”Il
augh.
Thando:“
Iam sohappyf
oryousi
si.
”Shehugsme
agai
n.

Gci
no:“
Iam justthi
nki
ngofft
hechicksIam goi
ng
t
ogetnowt hatIhaveaZul
uprinceasabrot
herin
l
aw.”Wejustlaughathi
m.
Me:“come.”IpullKuhletotheki
tchen.Hesitson
thebarst
oolandIstartmovingaround.Idishfor
himthefoodIcookedear li
eronandservehim.I
alsot
akeabot t
leofflyi
ngf i
shfr
om thefri
dge,open
i
tandgi
veittohim.“Focusonthemeat,t
hat’
s
wher
eIpouredthelovepoti
on.
”Helaughs.

Kuhl
e:“
thef
oodi
sdel
ici
ous.
”
Me:“myhandsdonotonl
ydr
awbutt
heycancook
t
oo.”Hegi
ggles.

Kuhle:“youareperf
ect.Andbeforeyoulectureme
aboutnobodyi sper
fect,youaretome.Wi thallyour
i
mper fecti
ons,f
lawsandweaknesses.Youar e
perf
ectandenoughf orme. ”Ibl
ushandt akeouta
dumpyi nt hef
ri
dgesot hatIcancoolmysel fdown.
Hechuckl esandconti
nueseat i
nghisfood.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
13] :CHAPTER60
Ididn’thaveadr essforumemul okaLisabutwhenI
calledSi mami so,shetoldmet hatshehasthree
traditi
onaldr essedf ormeandt woeveni
nggown.
Shesai dthatshehasappoi nt
edhersel
fasmy
personaldesi gner.IlaughedatthatandIam just
thankf ulbecauseIwasf reaki
ngout.Shesenta
pictureofoneoft hedr essesandIboughtmat chi
ng
heel sandcl utch.

Todaywear egoingt oNongoma.I t

’sFri
day.Kuhl
e
bookedusal odgebecauseIdon’ twannacome
backlateatni
ghtasi fIam runni
ngawayf rom
something.Ourrelati
onshi
piscutebutIhaven’t
tol
dotherpeopleandmypar entsaboutthe
engagement.Iwilltel
lthem t
omor r
owwhenIcome
backfrom Nongomabecausei ti
sChrist
masday.
Igetup, maket hebedandgoshower .Ithenloti
on
mybodyandt hengetdressedinanudeone
shouldersol i
dbodycondr esswithwhitevans.I
packext raclothesfortonightandtomor r
owinmy
overnightbag.Ial sobackmymake- upand
cosmet ics.Itakeeverythi
ngIneedandhead
downst airs.Whi l
emakingcof f
eemyphoner ings.I
chucklewhenIseet hatit
’savideocallfr
om Kuhle.
Iansweri t.

Me:“
kumkani
.”
Kuhl
e:“Kumkani
kazi,
youlookbeauti
ful
.”Hesays
smil
ing.Hei
swearingashortsl
eevedti
ghtt-
shir
t.

Me:“
thankyou.Whyar
eyouupsoear
ly?
”
Kuhl
e:“peopl
ehavebeensince3am her
esthandwa.
Mybrotherssl
eptat4am andIam onmywayt o
wakethem.”Ipl
acethephoneinanangl
ethathe
canbeabletoseemeandcont i
nuemakingmy
cof
fee.
Me:“
whatmadet
hem sl
eepi
nthemor
ning?
”
Kuhl
e:“t
heydrankal
lni
ght.Theyareluckysomeof
t
hem haveroomsoutsi
dethepalacebecausedad
woul
dhavechasedthem out.
”Ilaugh.
Me:“
don’
tbehar
shwhenwaki
ngt
hem.
”

Kuhl
e:“nobabe.Theywerecar
eless.Iam goi
ngt
o
wakethem wi
thcoldwater
.”
Me:“yuhIdon’
twi
sht
obei
nthei
rshoes.
”He
l
aughs.
Kuhl
e:“
whenar
eyougoi
ngt
odepar
t?”

Me:“assoonasIam doneeati
ngmycereal
.Idon’
t
car
eiftheother
sar
enotready.WhenIam done,
I
am l
eaving.
”
Mabut
ho:“hauboss.Whendi
dyoust
artt
obet
his
cr
uel
?”Il
augh.
Kuhl
e:“
eversi
nceshecamebackf
rom Li
bya.
”
Me:“
youaresupposedtobesi
dingwi
thme.
”Isay
whi
ningandhelaughs.

Mabutho:“
butIam goi
ngtobedoneinafew
minut
es.Kuhleknowshowquicki
ttakesusmen
t
aketogetready.
”
Kuhle:“yeahbabe.2mi
nut
esforshower
ing,
1
minutef orl
oti
oni
nganddr
essi
ngupand2mi nut
es
forpacking.
”

Me:“t
hat
’swhysomeoft hemenst inkbecauset
hey
ar
einarush.”Theybot
hlaugh.Mabut hogoesto
hi
sroom.Iknowhewasi nthein-housegym.“Baby
goonwit
hwhatyouar edoing.Seeyousoon.”

Kuhl
e:“
Iloveyou.
”
Me:“
Iloveyou.
”Ihangup.
.
.
WepassbyEmpangenit otakemydr essandt hen
dri
vest raightt
oNongoma.Wer emember edtobuy
gi
ftsforLi sa.Shemaynotbeamat eri
ali
sti
cper son
butIknowever yoneenj
oysgifts.Iam withZamoh,
Mabut hoandDannyi nt
hecar .Wear edrivi
ngt he
AstonMar ti
n.Lelei
sdri
vingtheX1wi t
hThobeka,
GcinoandThando.NomaandLeear ewithBabal wa
andGi ftinLee’sSUV.ZahandXol iwi
llbecomi ng
wit
ht heirbaes.

Danny:“Bl
uewhatist
hatonyourfi
nger
?”Ichuckl
e.
Heisoneofthepeopl
eIhaven’
ttol
daboutmy
rel
ati
onshi
pwit
hKuhle.
Me:“it
’sanengagementri
ng.Iam engagedtosome
pri
ncenj ewet
hu.I
thappenedsofast.Sorr
yIdidn’
t
tel
lyou.”hefr
owns.

Danny:“
whoi st
hispr
ince?”MabuthoandZamoh
l
augh.Hiseyespopout.“Owwhellno.”Helaughs.
“OMG!”heshout
s.“When?Howdi dithappen?”
Me:“
asIsai
d,i
tal
lhappenedt
oof
ast
.”
Danny:“
whatabouthi
swi
fe?
”

Me:“
hei
sdi
vor
ced.
”
Danny:“
whydon’
tthemedi
aknowaboutt
his?
”
Me:“
hewi l
laddr
essitaft
erumemulo.Theex-
wif
e
won’
tevenbetherebecauseshei
sbanishedf
rom
t
heking’
sland.
”

Danny:“
whathappened?
”Dannymaybemyf r
iend
butt
hatdoesn’
tmeanIshoul
dtel
lhi
m Kuhl
e’
s
secr
ets.
Me:“
Idon’
tknowf
ri
endbuti
tmustbehuge.
”
Danny:“
soyouguysar
esneaki
ngar
ound?
”Il
augh.
.
.
WegettoNongoma, fi
rstcheckintothel
odge.I
f
reshenupinmyr oom andchanget oabl
ueand
whit
eballgown.Iam notinthemoodofshowing
myasstoday.Thegowni ssleevel
essandhas
feat
herscover
ingtheupperareaandabel tbel
ow
thebreast
swherethebottom partst
art.Ipairi
twi
th
awhiteopentoelegchunkyheels,ablueandwhi t
e
headscarfandblueandwhiteshoulderscar f
.

Iheadt othel obbywher eIfi

ndmyf r
iendslooking
goodandr eadyt ogo.It
’salr
eady2pm andt he
ceremonyst ar tedat12:30.Wedr i
vetothepalace.
Whenwegett her ewehar dlyfi
ndapar kingspace.
Wepar kont her oadandMpendul ocomest oour
car.Het el
lsust hatweshoul dfoll
owhi m because
therearepar kingspot sdesignatedforus.Wepar k
thereandheadt owher etheeventisat.Iam
wear i
ngglassesbecauseIdon’ twantpeopl etosee
mywei rdeyes.Atl eastnotnow.

Mpendulol
eadsustoamar que.Wegett her eand
si
tdown.Ilookt
owher ethemai densareat .They
arel
ooki
ngsobeauti
f ul
.Theyaresi ngi
ngand
danci
ng.Li
salooksl
ikeat r
uepr i
ncesswhi chshei s.
Il
ookaroundandIspotthekingwi thhisbrot her
s.
Hiswivesaresit
ti
ngnotf arfr
om him.Kuhl
eandhis
si
bli
ngsandhi sfr
iendsaredressedinthei
rZulu
att
ir
es,amabheshuf orthemenandbeadedski r
ts
andbeadsfortheladies.Theyareweari
ngtheir
si
gnatureani
malpr i
ntfabri
cont hei
rshoul
ders.

Lisaspotsus.Shesmi lesandstart
sasong.She,
withabakhaphibakhe, cometowherewear e
seatedwhilesi
nginganddanci ng.Shestabsthe
spearonthegroundi nf r
ontofmeandt henhead
backtotheiror
iginalpl
ace.Thelookswear egett
ing
nowar edramatic.West andupwithourgift
sand
gotowher ethemai densareat.Shekneelsandmy
fr
iendsstartpi
nningmoneyonherhead.

Whentheyaredone,theystandbackandIf orward.
Iaskoneofherfr
iendstoremovet hemoney.They
dosoquickl
y.Ist
artpinni
ngR200not esalloverher
headandbeads.Peopleareevenst andi
ngand
l
ookingatusinawe.WhenIam donepi ningthe
money,Ipl
aceagiftbaginfrontofLisaandt hen
t
urn.Theot
her
sal
sopl
acegi
ft
sbagi
nfr
ontofLi
sa.

Onourwaybackt oourmarque,theZul ubrot

her
s
stopusbydoi ngtheZul
udancei nf r
ontofuswhich
i
scal l
edukugiya.Manypeopleululateandother
s
scream andmendowhi stl
es.Kuhl esurpri
ses
everyone,evenme,whenhekneel sinfrontof
everyoneandputabeadedbr aceletonmyl ef
twrist
.
OMG!Whydi dhehavetodot hat?

Noma:“ gi
vehim yourwat chwhi chsymbolizest
hat
youaccepthi sproposal.”Ilaughandcovermyf ace
wit
hmyhands.It henremovet hem,takeoffmyMK
oversizedLaytonPavéRosegol d-
tonewatchand
putitonhi swrist
.Hest andsupandki ssesmehar d.
Peoplecheersohar d,
you’ dswearhehaswont he
l
ottery.

Me:“st
op.Youarest
eal
ingLi
sa’sspot
li
ght.”He
l
aughsandgoesbacktohisseat
.Weal sogoback
t
oourmar que.Wesi
tdownandIf i
nal
lybreathe.
“
Whatt
hef
uckwast
hat
?”myf
ri
endsl
augh.
Danny:“
youwi
llbet
rendi
ngi
nnot
imebabes.
”

Me:“God.”Igroan.Someladi
escomet owher ewe
areseat
edandgi veuscoldbott
ledwater.“Thank
you.
”Iopent hebottl
eanddownal mostallofit
.
Danny:“
thatt
hir
sty?
”
Me:“
youwi
llunder
standwhenAfr
ikapr
oposest
o
youi
nahugeconcert.
”Hel
aughs.
.
.
Thef i
rstsessionoftheeventcomest oanendand
peoplemovet ot heframet entwhi chi
salsoint
he
yard.Thispalaceisveryhuge.I talsohave
beautif
ull
ybui l
trondavel
s.I fIwasn’tKuhle’
s
gir
lfr
iend,Iwouldgoar oundl ookingatthem
becauset hei
rdesignenticeme.Oneoft heladi
es
fr
om ear l
ieronleadsust oourt able.Wegetset
tled
i
nandt hewaitersbri
ngst arter
s.
Fewmi nuteslatert
her oyal
smaket hei
rwayinand
weal lstandup.Theki nglooksmywayandwi nks
atme.Igi ggle.Theyf i
nall
ysitdownandtherestof
usfollowsui t
.Thespeechesandper f
ormances
star
t.Iam sot hirst
yrightnow.Iwoulddoanything
fori
nguduoff lyi
ngfish.

Me:“ Zamohpleasegetmeal coholthatisint he

coolerbox.Fi
ndawayt omakei tdi
screte.”He
l
aughsandheadsoutwi thGcino.Latelunchi s
servedandImustsayt hefoodisver ydelicious.
ZamohandGci nocomebackandhehaspour ed
thealcoholi
nmyj uicebot t
le.“
Andpeopl ewonder
whyIhi r
edyou.”hel aughsandhandsmet hebottl
e.
Itakeasipandsomet hingcalmsdowni nsideme.
Leetakesthejuicebottl
eanddr inks.

Lee:“
damn.I
sthi
sthef
lyi
ngf
ishonl
y?”
Zamoh:“
Iaddedvodka.
”
Noma:“ letmetaste.
”Shetakest hebott
leandtakes
asip.“Damn.Canweski ptot hedrinki
ngbahlal
i?”
wel augh.Thebottl
ecir
culatear oundthetabl
eand
that
’sact ual
lyf
unny.Thepr ogram comet oanend
andsomepeopl egooutandsomeeatmeati n
groups.Wai t
ersbri
ngciders,beerandvodkai nour
tabl
e.

Danny:“
Iguesst
heysawhowt
hir
stywear
e.”We
l
aughagain.
Me:“
bri
ngmybot
tl
ebackt
hen.
”Theyl
augh.
Zah:“t
ouswhoar enotatthei
rin-
lawshouse.
”She
takesabeerandopensit
.Theylaughatme.These
i
diots.

Me:“shoul
dn’
tyougoeatmeatwi
tht
heot
hermen?
”
Isaylooki
ngatMabut
hoandZamoh.
Mabut
ho:“
wear
ewor
kingher
eboss.
”Ir
ollmyeyes.
Thobeka:“It
hinkBabal
waandIcanhandl
eany
dangerthatmaycomeourway.”
Zamoh:“f
ine.
”Him,
Mabut
ho,
Gif
t,Lel
oandGci
no
l
eavethetabl
e.

Me:“whyareyousti
llher
e?”Isayt
oDannyandwe
al
lburstoutl
aughi
ng.
Danny:“
ngi
zokut
hol
a.”
Me:“paybackf
orl
aughi
ngatmeont
hatdoubl
e
di
nnerdate.
”
Danny:“
whoeverthatsai
dyoudon’
thol
dgr
udges
waslyi
ng.”Il
augh.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
13] :CHAPTER61
SPONSOREDCHAPTER
Itislat
erightnow.Somepeopl ehavel eftandsome
arecomi nginf ort
heaft
erparty.Itl
ooksl i
keiti
s
goingtobehugebecauset heorganizersseemst o
beset t
ingupf orahugeconcer t
.Iam sot i
red.Ij
ust
wannagobackt othel
odge,takeawar m bathand
sleep.

Me:“Iam sotir
ed.Iam goi ngt
ogetZamohdrive
mebacktot helodge.”IstandupandIfeel
someonewr appingtheirarmsaroundmywaist.I
smil
ebecauseIknowi t’
sKuhle.

Kuhl
e:“
wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
”hesayst
urni
ngme.
Me:“
Iam tir
edsoIwantMabut
hot
odr
ivemeback
t
othelodge.”
Kuhl
e:“
butyouhaven’
tmetmyf
ami
ly.
”
Me:“Iwillcomebackt omor r
owmor ning.Theyar e
probabl
yt i
redandsleepy.Iam suretheyar egoing
towanttoknowmebet t
er.Sinceyouhavedeci ded
totel
leveryoneaboutuswi thoutmyper missi
on.”
Hesmi l
esandper ksmyl ips.

Kuhl
e:“
Iam sor
ryf
ort
hat
.”
Me:“
andyouar
egoi
ngt
opayf
ort
hat
.”
Kuhl
e:“
Idon’
tmi
nd.Letmedr
iveyout
othel
odge.
”
Me:“seeyoul
aterguys.
”Isaytomyfri
end.Kuhl
e
andIheadout
.Wegett ohiscarandhedri
vesusto
thel
odge.

Whenwegett here,
weheadt omyr oom.Iquickl
y
takeoffmycl ot
hesandheadt otheshower.Itur
n
onwar m waterandstepinsi
de.Iti
sjustso
refr
eshing.Theshowerinthi
slodgei sver
yhugeso
Imovef reel
y.Thewatercascadesdownmybody.
Theheatoft hewatermakesmehor nyact
uall
y.
TheshowerdooropensandmyZul upr i
nceget sin.
Iignor
ehim andst ar tt
ouchingmyselfprovocativel
y.
Imovemyhandsupanddownmybody.Hei sn’
t
doinganything.Hei sjustl
ookingatme.Il ook
downathi sdi ckandIsmi lewhenIseei thardand
readyforaction.Iturntofacetheotherside,he
grabsmef rom behi ndandhugsmecl ose.He
bendshiskneesandIf eel
hisdicki
nbet weenmy
l
egs.

Hest ar
tski
ssingmyneck.FuckIj ustwanthim
i
nsidemet hi
si nst
ant .Hereachesforthebody
washandl at
her shi
shandsup.Hi shandsmove
acrossmybody.Onehandmovesacr ossmy
stomach,myboobsr estonhisforearm andthe
othermakesitswaydownt omycookie.He
managest ohittherightspotandImoanl oudly.My
breathi
nggetsshallowashemoveshi shandup
anddown.

Hehol
dsmycl
itbet
weenhi
sindexandf
oref
inger
andhi sotherfinger
sspr eadmypussyl i
psapart.I
grabhi sotherarmtost eadymysel fbecauseIfeela
l
itt
ledizzy.Hei nser
tsonef i
ngerinsideofme.Igr i
p
hisarmt ightl
yanddi gmyf ingernail
sintoit
.Ifeel
sorryforhim becausest i
let
tonailscanbr ui
seyou.
Her emoveshi shandf rom mycooki e,bendsme
andt henshoveshi sdickdeepi nsi
deme.FUCK!
.
.
Heendedupnotgoi ngbackhomel astnight.I
tfel
t
real
lygoodfall
ingasl eepinhi
sarms.If eel
completeandcont ent.Iopenmyeyesandl ookat
him.Heisstil
lsleeping.Igetontopofhi m and
pokehisface.Ipokei tunti
lhesmil
esandopenshi s
eyes.

Kuhle:“
youar
esuchanui
sanceyezwa.
”Hegrabs
bothmyhandsandIl
augh.“
Youlooksobeaut
if
ul
ri
ghtnow.”
Me:“
andyoul
ookugl
y.”Hechuckl
es.
Kuhle:“
youwi sh.
”Hesit
supandki
ssesme.He
t
henputhi shandsundermybut
tandstandsup
wit
hmet angl
edinhi
sbody.
Me:“
don’
tdr
opme.
”hesmi
les.
Kuhl
e:“
never
.”

Wegett othebat hroom, br

ushourteet
h,shower
anddr yourbodies.Wegobackt othebathr
oom
andfinditsqueaki l
yclean.Whil
etaki
ngclot
hesto
wearfrom mybag, someoneknocksont hedoor
.
Kuhleattendstot hedoorquickl
yandcomeback
wit
habag.If iguret hatsomeonebroughthi
m
cl
othes.

Igetdressedinaforestgr
eenandwhitel
aceinsert
ruf
fl
edet ainchai
nprintbl
ouseandsat
inski
rt
.Ipair
i
twithabl ackpowertri
pti
eleghighbl
ockheelsand
ablackheadscar f
.
Kuhle:“
youlookver
ybeauti
fulandt
hankyouf
or
notshowingmyass.”Il
augh.
Me:“
you’
recr
azyandIam notdoi
ngi
tforyou.
”

Kuhle:“could’
vefooledsomeonebutnotme.”Ir
oll
myeyes.Ipackal lmyclot
hesinmybagandwe
headout .Mabuthot akesmybagandputiti
nthe
car.“Bytheway, dadhasinvi
tedal
lofyoufor
breakfast.
”
Danny:“yay!Wear
egoi
ngbackt
othepal
ace.
”We
al
llaughathim.

Wegeti ntothecar sandwedr i

vetothepal ace.This
placelooksmuchbi ggerwithoutmanycar sand
peoplegoingupanddown.Wecl i
mbof ft hecars
andwegeti nsidethemai nhouse.Iti
sr eall
yhuge
andbeaut i
ful.Therearesomanydesi gnsgoi ngon
here.Iam justlookingaround.Someonecl ears
theirt
hroat.Ilookatthisbeauti
fulwomani nfrontof
me.
Woman:“you’r
eanarchit
ectri
ght?”Inod.“ Andyou
knowmanySout hAf
ricanarchi
tectsi
gnat ures?”I
chuckl
eandnodagain.“Whodoyout hi
nkdesi gned
thi
shouse?”Il
ookar
oundagai nandsmi le.
Me:“wasfi
rstbui
ltbyt
helat
eProf
essorTony
Murphyandwaslaterr
enovat
edbyStephani
e
Moloi
.”

Woman:“greatobser
vati
on.Iam MaDubazaneby
theway.Hl
ehle’
sfourt
hmot her
.Iwasanengineer
onceuponat i
me.”
Me:“Iam Nt
ombi
fut
hiCel
ema.Whoi
sHl
ehl
e?”she
smil
es.
MaDubazane:“hi
m.”hesayspoi
nti
ngatKuhl
e.I
l
ookathim andchuckl
e.

Me:“
cut
ename.
”hegi
vesmeani
nti
midat
ingl
ook.
Kuhl
e:“
Iam goi
ngt
o…”
MaDubazane:“
noti
nmypr
esence.
”
Kuhl
e:“
sor
ryma.
”Awwt
hisi
ssocut
e.

MaDubazane:“ comethissidesot hatyoucansee

yourot hermother-i
n-l
aws.”shepul l
smet othe
cor r
idor.Wewal kafewmoment sandwegett othe
kitchen.Wowi t’
shuge.Ther earefewol derwomen
whom Ipr esumear ethewi vesandaf ewl adies.
“LookwhoIf oundwonderingi nthehall
ways. ”They
allturnandlookatme.Thi swomanmar a.She
foundmeatt hedoorandnowshesaysshef ound
meatt hehal
lway.Wonder snevercease.Shepul ls
mei nsi
dethekitchenandpoi nt
st oabar st
ool.“You
cansi t.
”

Me:“sani
bonani
.”Igr
eetandt
heygr
eetback.It
hen
si
tdown.
Woman1:“ youlookj
ustl
ikeyourf
ather
.Siyahas
goodgenes.”Thewomanwhoseemsol derthanall
thesel
adiessay.“
Iam Mamkhulu,
Konke’segg
donor.
”Igiggl
ebecauset
hatmeansshei sKuhl
e’
s
bi
ologi
calmot
her
.

Me:“nicet
omeetyouma. ”Istandandhugher
.The
other
salsoint
roducet
hemselvesandweshare
hugs.
MaMol efe:“gosett het abl
e.Wewi l
lfoll
owyou
short
ly.
”Sheor derst hemaids.Theytakethe
servi
ngdi shesandt henheaddownt hehal l
way.
Sheisthel astwife.Shei sverybeautif
ulandathi
ck
woman.Shemaybeyoungt hanKuhlebutshe
l
ooksol der.Youknowhowuschubbywomen
alwayslookol derthanourages.

MaShezi:“
howdoyoufeel
aboutget
ti
ngmar
ri
edt
o
t
heroyalfami
ly?
”Ishr
ug.
Me:“ Idon’tknowhowt ofeel
.Ithasbeensolong
sinceIhavebeeni narelati
onship.I
tdoesn’
thel
p
thatKuhledi dn’
tgi
vememuchofachoi ce.Iguess
i
thasn’ tsankin.”t
heychuckle.
KaMahl aba:“i
twill
,i
nt i
me.Nowl et
’sgo. ”Wemake
ourwayoutoft hekit
chenandtheyl eadmet ot
he
dininghallwherethewholefamilyisat,exceptthe
kids.Myf amilyandfri
endsarealsoher e.Weset t
le
downandIsi tnextt
oKuhle.Igreetever yoneel
se
andt heygreetback.Peopl
estartdishingup.Idish
formyselfandKuhl eandthensitdown.

King:“wearesohappyt hatyoucoul
djoinusthis
mor ni
ngMaCele.Afterthedramathatmyson
causedyester
day,everyoneherehasn’
tstopped
tal
kingaboutyou.
”Ismi leandtakeasi
pofwat er.

Somet hi
ngtel
lsmet hatIshouldlookaroundt he
room.SoIlookar oundandInear l
yfaintwhenmy
eyeslandataJameson’ smamba.Iunf reezeand
thenj
umpupscr eaming.Everyonestopswhatt hey
aredoingandlookatmel ikeIam crazy.

Me:“
bataselet’
sgo.Let’
sleavet
hispl
aceandnever
comeback.”Isayl
ookingatLeeandNomawhi l
e
mybreat
hingisn’
tsteady.Iam shaki
ng.Ihavet
his
cr
azyphobiaofsnake.Iam ophidi
ophobic.

Noma:“ whatiswrongt ase?”sheaskscomi ng

towardsme.Ipointatt hesnakewhichhaswr apped
i
tselfar
oundt hestatueoftheking.Shelooksatthe
stat
ueandt henlookatmewi thconcer
ni nhereyes.
“Therei
snosnaket here.
”

Me:“ Iam seri

ous.Therearesnakesint
hisplace.
Weneedt oleave.Weneedt ogo.Ican’
tstayina
placewi t
hsnakes.Iwon’ t
.Ir
efuse.
”Tearsstart
fl
owi ngdownmycheeks.“ MabuthoandZamoh
standt hefuckupsot hatwecanleavethi
splace.I
can’tdeal.
”Kuhlestandsupandhol dsmyhands.
Kuhle:“
cal
m downFuthynot
hingi
sgoingt
o
happentoyou.
”Ishakemyheadmult
iplet
imes.

Me:“
don’
tfuckent
ellmet hat
.OwmyGod,thisi
sit.
”
Ir
emovemyhandsf rom hishol
dandpl
acethem on
topofmyhead.“ Iam fi
nall
ygoingcr
azy. ”The
snakesslidesdownthestatueandst
ar tmakingit
s
waytot hetabl
e.“Iam notgoi
ngtostandher eand
waitforthesnaketocomet omeandki llme.”

Kuhl
e:“
that
’sj
ustr
idi
cul
ousFut
hy.Br
eat
heand
l
ookatme.”
Me:“owmyGodhei stel
li
ngmet ocalm downwhile
asnakeismakingit
swayt owar dsme.Maybet he
royal
swor kwi
thsnakes.Maybet heywanna
sacri
fi
ceme.Noyoucan’ t
.Iam amul ti
mi l
li
onai
re
andIhavenodescendantyet.Youcan’tkillme.
”I
shakemyheadmul ti
pleti
mes.Thesnakemakes
eyecontactwi
thmeandt henitstart
smaki ngit
s
waytowardsme.Iscream outloud.

MaShezi:“
andyouthoughtIwasdramati
c.”She
sayschuckl
ingwhi
lelooki
ngatKuhle’
smom.
Me:“sheislaughing.Shei
slaughingatmymi ser
y.I
am goingtodie.Ithi
nkIcanfeelaheartat
tack
cr
eepingin.OMG!OMG!OMG! ”
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
13] :CHAPTER62
SPONSOREDCHAPTER

Thesnakest opsmovi ngandj uststaresatmel i

keit
i
sdevour i
ngmewi thi t
seyes.Il ookar oundt he
tableandIseet hekinghavi ngasat isfiedlookon
hisface.Heisr ej
oicinginthis.Hisfirstandt hi
rd
wivesar esmili
ng.Theyseem t obehappy.Kuhl e’
s
mom cl earsthethr
oatandst andsup.Shecomest o
meandIst epback, notwant i
nghert ogetany
closer.Whatifshewant stof eedmet ot hesnake?
Shequi ckensherpaceandt hengr absmyhands.I
shakemyheadwhi
let
ear
sar
efal
li
ngdownmy
cheeks.

MaDl
omo:“
pleasecal
m down.
”
Me:“no.no.youwantmet
ofeedyout
oyour
snake.
”Shelaughs.
MaDl
omo:“Lelawouldprobabl
yburymeal i
veifIas
muchasharm asi
nglestrandofhaironyourhead.
Nowdescri
bethesnaketoandtellmewher ei
tis.
”
I
tst
il
lissi
tt
ingonthetable.

Me:“i
t’
saJameson’smamba.I tisgreenanditi
s
si
tt
inginf
rontofSbo.”Sbowassitt
ingopposit
eme.
Hejumpsupandt henlooksati
t.Otherpeopl
ealso
j
umpupasi ftheyarenowseeingit
.

MaDlomo:“t
hatisourancestr
alsnake.Itdoesn’
t
l
ivei
nthepalaceoraroundhere.I
tonlyshowsi t
sel
f
whenawifechosenbyt heancest
or senter
sthe
pal
ace.
”Iswallowhard.MaShezialsostandsup
andcomet
owher
eIam at
.

MaShezi:“cal
m downsi si
.Itmeansyouarechosen
andfavoredbyt heancest
ors.YouareNkosana’s
chosenone.”Shehugsme.Ist arthyper
venti
lat
ing
andmybodyshakesvi gorousl
y.Myfeardoesn’t
washoffunt i
lIhavecalmeddownorbeen
hypnoti
zed.

Lee:“
FUTHYSNAPOUTOFI TMAN!”sheisal
ready
nextt
omeandshaki ngme.If
eelmybodygoi
ng
downandit
’sl
ightout.
.
.
*
**KUHLE*
**
Irusht
oherandpi ckherup.Iwal
kwithhertothe
l
oungeandplacehercareful
lyonthecouch.Ithen
removehershoes.Theotherscometothelounge
soonaft
erandstartcr
owdingher.
Me:“canwepleasegivehersomespaceto
breat
he?”t
heyallsi
tdown.IlookatLeeandNoma
whobothlookangry.“Canyoutel
lmewhatjust
happened?
”

Noma:“ no.youtel
luswhatj usthappened.Fut hy
hasthishugephobiaofsnakes.I t
’srealandshei s
real
lyscaredofthem.Whensheseest hem
sometimesherhear tstopsorbeatsveryfast .Af
ter
themathshest art
sbei ngparanoi
dandhal lucinates
orevenhaveni ght
mar es.Youshould’vewar nedher
aboutyourcreepyancest r
alsnake.
”

Lee:“
ifhedid,sheprobabl
ywoul
dn’
thavecome
herei
nt hef
irstpl
ace.”
Me:“
wellIdidn’
tknowshewasmychosenone.I
j
ustwentforherbecauseIl
oveher
.”
Thobeka:“
isshegoi
ngt
obeokayt
hough?
”she
askslooki
ngatNomaandLee.
Lee:“
itwil
ltakemaybeaweekf ort
hingst
ogoback
tonormal.Justknowyouwi llhavetodosome
majorconvinci
ngf orhert
ocomebackher e.
”her
phoneri
ngs.Shel ooksatitandcursesunderher
breat
h.
Noma:“whati
sit
?”Leeshowshersomethi
ngont
he
phoneandNomaalsocursesi
nalowtone.
Me:“
whati
sgoi
ngon?
”

Lee:“
babaisaski
ngwher
ewear e.Wealways
spendChri
stmasDayatMor
ningside.
”
MaShezi:“
youcan’
tleavewhi
leshehasn’
twoken
up.
”Nomaopensherphoneandst art
stappi
ngonit
.
Shethenhandsthephonetomyfather
.

Noma:“ youhavet ocal

lhim andtel
lhi
m what
exactl
yhappenedbecausei fIam theonetocall
,
he’dprobablyt
hinkwear ejusthung-
over
somewher eandt henhewillpuni
shus.”dadtakes
thephone,tapitandthenplacesitonhisear
.He
st
epsfarawayf
rom usandst
art
stal
king.Af
tera
whil
ehecomesbackandhandsNomat hephone.

King:“
hesayshei sgoi
ngtooverchar
geyoul obol
a
forthi
sinci
dentandIknowheisnotjoki
ng.”Hesits
downonhi ssingl
ecouch.“
Tell
meaboutt his
phobiaofhers.Howint
enseisi
tandwher edidit
star
t?”

Lel
e:“bef
oreIstarttalki
ng,canthekidsleave?This
i
sr at
herasensit
ivet opi
c.”Theyleaveandt heonl
y
peoplel
eftaremyf ather,hi
swives,Sbo,Nompi l
o,
Lee,Noma,theguar ds,Dannyandot her
s.
Me:“
wear
eal
lear
s.”

Lele:“sisihasalwaysbeenchubby,si
ncebir
th.You
knowhowki dsusedtoteasechubbyki
dsinschool.
Wel lshewasnoexcept ion.Wewenttothesame
school .Iwasdoinggrade5whi l
eshewasdoi ng
grade9t hatti
me.Shewasnevert het
ypetocry
whenteasedbutsheal sodidn’
tstandupforhersel
f.
Shewouldjustgiveyouaver yint
imidat
inglookto
suchanextentthatyouwillendupapologizi
ng.”

“Shealwaysconf ront edki

dswhobul li
edmeor
Thando.Thisot herdaywewer egoingtoat r
ipi
n
school.Itwasfortheoddgr ades.Gr ade3,5,7,
9,
11butt heyincl
udedgr ade12.Wewentt ouShaka
DangerousCr eatures.Shedi dn’twannagot her
e
becauseshewasaf raidofsnakesbutsheendedup
goingbecauseshewant edtoguar dme. ”

“Therewasthi
sguyshel ikedandever yoneat
schoolknewbutshedi dn’tactcr azyar oundhim.
Hewasdoi nggrade11.I nt hatpar kyouar eal
lowed
toholdorpetharmlesssnakes.Sot hi
sguyt ooka
snakeandplayedwi t
hi t
.Mysi sterwasj ust
watchingmefrom adi st
ance.Thi sguymadea
mistakebyputt
ingthesnakear oundherneck.She
j
umpedupscr eami ng.Iam notaf rai
dofsnakessoI
wenttoherandt ookitoffherbuti twast ool
ate.
”
“Shestart
edhyper venti
lati
ngandshaking.Shewas
screamingandcr ying.Sheat t
ract
edattenti
onto
hersel
f.Oneoft heteacherscameandt ri
edtocalm
herdown.Shej ustf ai
nted.That’
showherf earof
snakesmul t
ipl
ied.Daddi dsomet hi
ngtot heguy
becauseIneversawhi m again.Dadisvery
overpr
otecti
veofhi sdaught er
s,especi
all
yherso
goodluck.”Hest andsupandheadsout .Thobeka
fol
lowshim.

Me:“l
etmetakehertomyroom.”Ipi
ckherup.Lee
pi
cksuphershoes.Weheadtomyr oom andI
pl
acehercar
eful
lyonthebed.
Lee:“
takeofft
hedressandherbraanddressheri
n
somethingcomfor
tabl
e.”Shepl
acestheshoesona
rug.

Me:“okay.”Sheheadsout
.Iundr
essherandget
herdressedinmysweatpant
sandoversi
zedshir
t.I
takeoffmyshoesandgettobed.Ipl
aceherhead
i
nmychestandwrapmyarmsaroundher
.“Il
ove
youmychosenone.
”Ipl
antasof
tki
ssonherhead
andt
henclosemyeyes.
.
.
IwakeupandIl ookaround.Iam inaroom Ihave
neverbeeninbef or
e.Kuhlehashishandswr apped
ti
ghtaroundmybody, Iswearheisactinglike
someonei sgoingtostealme.Mymi nddr i
ftsback
toearl
iereventsandItrytocalm down.Theysai d
i
t’sanancestralsnakebutIam stil
lscaredofi t.I
fr
eemysel ffr
om Kuhle’sarmsandhequi cklyopens
hiseyes.

Kuhl
e:“
areyouokay,
baby?
”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“Iam fi
ne.Justal
it
tlehungr
y.”Hesi
tsup.
“Whatti
mei sit
?”hecheckonhisphonewhichi
son
hisbedsi
detable.
Kuhl
e:“
15:
28.
”
Me:“wow.Can’tbel
ieveImi
ssedChrist
masl
unch
andIcan’
tbeli
evethisismyfi
rstChr
ist
masaway
fr
om home.”
Kuhle:“l
et’
sgoeat
.”Hestandsupandwearshi
s
sl
iders.Icl
earmythr
oatandhelooksatme.

Me:“Iam pr
ett
ysur
eyouarenotexpecti
ngmeto
godownstai
rswear
ingyoursweat
pants.
”Hel
aughs.
Kuhl
e:“yourbagisontheclosetwhi
chi
sthatsi
de.
”
Hepointstothedi
rect
ion.

Icli
mbof ft
hebedandgot othecloset
.Iweart
he
dressIwaswear ingyest
erdaywhenwecameher e
andmywhi t
esneakers.Iwearabuckethatanda
denimjacket.Ipackever
ythi
ngnicelyi
nmybag
andheadt othebathroom.Iri
nsemymout hwitha
mout hwash.Ithenheadbackt ot
hebedroom.

Kuhl
e:“
youl
ook…”
Me:“
getusedt
omybeaut
yandst
opcompl
iment
ing
Me.
”hel
aughs.

Kuhle:“Iwil
lstopwhenIdi e.”Hetakesmyhand
andwebot hheadoutside.“Theypostponedthe
l
uncht oaccommodat eyou.”Ismi l
e.Heleadsmeto
thepatiowher eever
yoneisseat ed.Thetabl
eisful
l
ofdiff
erenttypesoffood.It’
slikeafeast
.Isitdown
andhesi tsnexttome.

Amahle:“
daddywhoi
sshe?
”sheasksi
nat
iny
ador
ablevoi
ce.
Kuhl
e:“
sheismyspeci
alf
ri
endandhernamei
s
aunt
yFuthy.
”
Zwel
i
:“shei
sbeaut
if
ul.
”Hesayssmi
li
ng.
Amahl
e:“
heyIwasgoi
ngt
osayt
hat
.Youst
olemy
wor
ds.
”

Zweli:“
whatever.
”Thesetwoaresocut e.Whydi
d
Sthabil
eincl
udekidsinherschemingthough?
Chil
drenareinnocentandshouldnotbeusedas
pawns.Somewomenoutt
her
e.

Me:“
thankyouandbot
hofyouar
eal
sobeaut
if
ul.
”
Zwel
ifr
owns.
Zweli
:“Iam amanandgrandpasai
dmenare
handsomenotbeaut
if
ul.Womenarebeaut
if
ul.
”I
smil
e.

Me:“myapol
ogi
esmypr
ince.Youareaver
y
handsomeman.
”hesmi
leswidel
y.
Zweli
:“someonewhofi
nall
yunderst
andsme.
Thankyouaunty.
”Ever
yonelaughs.

MaShezi:“howareyoufeeli
ngsi si?
”Ilookather
andtheeventsofthismorni
ngr eplaysinmyhead.I
l
ookdown.Shel aughs.“Don’
tbeshy.What
happenedtoyoualsohappenedt oMamkhul uand
me.Wej ustapol
ogizeonbehalfofourancest or
s.
Wedi dn’
tknowaboutyourphobi a.Butworrynot
becauseyouwon’tseeitagain.
”Ibr eat
heoutloud.
Me:“
that
’sar
eli
ef.
”Myf
ri
endsl
augh.
Danny:“Idon’tmeant omakef unofyouf ri
endbut,
”
hestartsl
aughing,“OMG!Shei sl
aughing.Sheis
l
aughingatmymi sery.Iam goingtodie’.
”Hesays
i
mi t
ati
ngmyvoi ce.Theyl aughandIj ustcovermy
facewithmyhands.WhenIt hi
nkabouti t
,Iwas
dramaticbutmysi t
uationisjusti
fi
es.Snakestome
arethatpersonyouhat eandyouneverwannasee
orbeont hesamer oom wi t
h.

Noma:“ Maybetheywannasacr i
fi
ceme.Noyou
can’t.Iam amultimil
li
onair
eandIhaveno
descendantyet.Youcan’tkillme.”t heylaughagai
n.
“TrustFuthytotalkabouthermi ll
ionswhenshei s
facedwi thali
fethreat
eningsituation.”

Kuhl
e:“
okay,enoughpi
cki
ngonmybae.
”Ir
emove
myhandsfrom myfaceandbl
ush.
Nompi
lo:“
youhaveuni
queeyes.I
syourmot
her
whi
te?
”Ishakemyhead.
Me:“no.Iwasj
ustf
ort
unat
etobegi
ft
edwi
thr
are
eyes.
”

Wealleatandt heconversati
onisf l
owi ng.Welater
onasktotakeleavebecause, besidest he
Chri
stmaslunch, athomewehavet hist r
adit
ionof
havi
ngabr aaiont he26thofDecember .Webi d
far
ewellt
oever yoneandwal kout.Kuhl eiswalking
usoutandhei scar r
yingmybag.Het henhandsi t
toMabuthowhenwegett owheret hecar sareat.
Hegrabsmywai standbringsmecl osertohim.

Kuhle:“
Iwi
llcomevi
sityouassoonasIr
etur
nto
Durban.
”
Me:“don’
trushgetti
ngback.Spendqualit
ytime
wit
hyourfamilyandkids.Spoilt
hem oreventake
t
hem toDisneyland.
”Hesmi les.

Kuhl
e:“
theyar
eluckyt
ohaveast
epmom l
ikeyou,
speci
alf
ri
end.
”Il
augh.Weshar
eakissandt
henI
cl
imbint
othecar
.Zamohdri
vesoutoft
hepal
ace.
Danny:“
youreal
lyl
ovethepr
inceneh?
”Ibl
ushand
l
ookoutsidet
hewindow.
Me:“
Idoandi
t’
sscar
y.”
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
14] :CHAPTER63
SPONSOREDCHAPTER

It
’st
hesecondweekofJanuar
y,aMonday,
andwe
areopeni
ngatwor
k.Kuhlecamebackf
rom
NongomaonNewYear ’
sEveandhewaswi t
hhi
s
si
bli
ngs.Wepar ti
edthatdayyohanddranktoo
much.Iendedupl eavingthepar
tyear
lyt
ogot o
sl
eep.Iam justgl
adIdi dn’
tembarr
assmyselft
hat
day,
Ijustdancedal otnje.

Myr elati
onshipwithKuhleisstil
lfi
ne.Wej usthave
alotofsex, l
ikealot.Hiskidsarealsofondofme.I
advisedhimt otakethem toCur r
oHer i
tageHouse.
Inthatwayhedoesn’ thavetolookforschools
everynowandt hen.PlusCur r
oisaver ygreat
school.Wewentt oregist
erthem.Zweliisgoingto
bedoi nggrade3andAmahl eisgoi
ngt obe
att
endi ngthedaycar e.Shewasmor eexci
tedabout
wear i
nguni f
orm.

TheNongomapal acepr ojecti

sago.Ihadt ost ar
t
afreshdesi gningitbecauseofthef i
ndingsofthe
l
andsur veyor.Butitdidn’tt
akemel ongandt hey
startedbuildingit
.Consi der
ingthatthatpal
acewi l
l
bemysecondhome, Ichecktheprogressregular
ly.
Idon’ twantwhathappenedl astti
met ohappen
agai
n.

Everythingisbackt onormalinmyhouse.Ki sback.

Ithoughtmaybeshewoul dbeahousewi febutshe
l
ovesherj ob,sosheisback.Xol iisst
il
lstaying
withme.Shesai dshewi l
lbemovi ngt
oKl erksdorp
wher ePhumudzost ays,
aftertheirweddingwhi ch
i
si nJune.Sot hi
smeansIneedt wonewassi stant
s.
ButIhavet askedhertostartl
ooki ngf
orper sonal
assistantsinMar ch.

Everythingissetformet ogot oBrooklyn.Ij

ust
havet olookforat emporaryapar t
mentt here
becauseIam goi ngt obet hereforaweek.Iam so
excit
edaboutt his.Iti
smor eimportantthanthe
awar dsbecausei twil
lguar anteemeper manent
cli
entswher eIam goi ngtoget5t o20year s
contracts,i
fIam lucky.Ihavebeendr awingmany
designssinceIhavebeenathome, soIam mor e
thanr eadyfortheconf er
ence.
Igetdressedi namust ardsui twithabl ackblouse
andnudenonst opst rappytiel egheeledsandal s.I
thencombmyhai randl etitdown.Ihavet obraidit
sometimet hisweek.It akeal lmyst uffandhead
downstairs.Wet hendr ivetowor k.Ifi
ndLi ndsay
bubblyasal waysatt her ecept i
on.Igr eethim and
headtomyof fice.Iprepareforameet ingwhichwi l
l
beat8am.Weal wayshaveyearopeni ngmeet i
ngs
whereIwel comet hem backandt el
lthem fewoft he
plansforthatbusi nessyear .

Ialr
eadyaskedsomeonef rom i
nteriordesigni
ngto
setupanof fi
ceforZahatt hear chit
ect ur
e
depart
ment .I
tisnowr eady.Iam j ustgoingto
announceherpr omot i
onatt hemeet ing.Iwonder
howshei sgoi ngt otakethenews.Whent heclock
hit
s8, Ipackmyt hingsandheadt ot heboardr
oom.
Ifi
ndever yoneal r
eadyseat ed.Igreetthem andgo
tomyseat .Ipl
acemyst uffonthet ableandstand
behindmychai r
.
Me:“ alothashappenedlastyear.Manygood
thi
ngsandbadt hi
ngs.Highl
ightofitwasme
winninganAf ri
canArchit
ectur
eAwar dwhich
openedmanydoor sandoppor t
unit
iesforDCC.This
yearwear egoingtoopennotonebutt wobr anches
ofDCCi nthi
scountr
y.Whoknows?Maybeanot her
overseas.”Ishr
ugandt heycheer.

“Int
hoset wobr anches,Iwilltakeonlyafewf rom
herewhowi llshowt henewempl oyeeshowt hi
ngs
areactual
lydonei nDCCandgui dethem.Tomor r
ow
wearegoi ngtohave10i nternswhoar egoingt obe
worki
ngatt hear chi
tect
ur edepartment.Pleasetreat
them wit
hkindnessandhel pt hem grow.
”

“Aslastyearhadi t
sgr eatmomentsand
achievement s,I’
dliketothankZanel
eandBobf or
maki ngsuret hatthecompanydoesn’ tgodowni n
myabsent i
a.Iknowt hatitwasacol
lectivework
andIam happyt hatt heymanagedtost i
rt heship.
Witht hatsai
d, I
’dlikeeveryonet
oputt heirhands
toget
herfortheVi
ceCEOofDubandl ela
Construct
ionCompany,BobMeyer s.
”Ever
yone
cheerswhileBobi
slookingshocked.

Bob:“OMG!”wealll
aughathi
m.Hest andsupand
rushestomysi
de.Hehugsme.“ Thankyouso
muchboss.IpromiseIwon’
tdi
sappointyou.
”I
smile.

Me:“ Ihopeso.”Hegoesbackt ohisseat.“Also

pleaseputyourhandst oget
herforthenewest
additi
onofthear chi
tect
uredepartmentteam, Miss
ZaneleMabaso. ”Sheactual
lyscreamswhi le
everyoneislaughingandcheeri
ngonher .When
shef i
nall
ycalmsdown, themeetingproceeds.

“AsIam goingtoBrooklynintwoweeksforthe
confer
ence,youguysar ewelcometosubmitanyof
yourbestdesignssothatIcanpresentt
hem ther
e
butIam rest
ri
ctingyoutofi
vedesigns.Gi
veityour
bestshotandwor kinteams.”Themeeti
ng
cont
inuesandwheni ti
sdone,thecaf
eteri
astaf
f
comesinandser vesusbr
unch.Weeatandt henwe
headtoouroffi
ces.Zahbudgesinmyof f
iceas
soonasIsitdown.

Zah:“
IknowIshoul
dbegrat
efulfort
heoppor
tuni
ty,
butwhatar
eyougoingt
odo?”Ilaugh.
Me:“youaregoi
ngtoguideandteachXoli
ever
ythi
ngsheneedstoknowaboutyourwor k.You
guyshaveoneweektogetyourshitt
ogether.AndI
wil
lbetaki
ngbothofyouwithmeinBr ookl
yn.”

Zah:“wow, okay.Ican’twaitt
oshar ethesenews
wit
hmydad. ”Shesmi l
esandr ushesoutgi ggl
ing
l
ikecrazy.Ihaveneverseenhert hathappybef or
e.
Imaginehowshewi llbeli
keifshef i
ndsoutt hat
sheisgoingt obetheCEOoft heJHBbr anch?
.
.
*
**LEE*
**
Ihavebeensl eepingwi t
hSboeversi ncewecame
backf r
om Fancour t
.Hei sverygoodinbed, l
ikehe
rocksmywor ldbutthat’
sjustit
.It
’sgoodsex,
nothingmor e.Icanseet hathehasdeveloped
feel
ingsformeandhasbeenhi nti
ngf orustot ake
thi
ngst othenextlevel.Idon’
thavelovef eel
ingsfor
him,justsexualfeel
ings,ift
hatmakessense.

Thingsatmyhousehavebeengr eat.Iactuall
yf eel
safe.Athiwassentencedt o20year simpr isonment
withoutparol
e.Turnsouthehadki ll
edsome
womanandpol i
cehadevi denceforthat.Theywer e
j
ustsear chi
ngforhi m becauseher anawayf rom
theareahewasl ivingat.AsmuchasIf eelsaf e,I
l
ovehavi ngBabalwaandgi ftar
ound, sotheyar e
notgoinganywher e.

Igetdr
essedi
nanavyshor tsleevedkneelength
dresswi
thasmallbel
t,nudecoatandnudeheel s.I
takemynavybagandt henheaddownst ai
rs.Ifi
nd
myguardseat
ingbreakfast
.Weexchangegr eet
ings
andIalsositdownandeat .Whenwear edone,t
hey
drivemetowor k.Wegetthere.Igr
eetthe
recept
ioni
standt henheadtomyof fi
ce.Idohave
myownpr acticebutIam nottheonlytherapi
sthere.
Therearealso5ot her
sand2mar r
iagecounsell
ors.

Igett
omyof f
ice,fi
rstl
yopent hewindowsforsome
fr
eshair,r
emovemycoatandhangi tonmychair
andthensitdown.Idon’ thaveapersonalassi
stant
,
sotherecepti
onisttakescareofallt
he
appoi
ntmentsmycl i
entsmake.Myphoner i
ngsand
IseethatKuhleiscalli
ng.Ianswerit.

Me:“
mypr
ince.
”Hechuckl
es.
Kuhl
e:“
don’
tbesar
casti
c.Lastt
imeIcheckedyou
andNomahatedme.”Il
augh.
Me:“
hat
eisr
atherabi
gwor
d.”Heal
sol
aughs.

Kuhl
e:“
anyways,
isever
ythi
ngsetf
orSat
urday?
”
Me:“
youar
egoi
ngt
oki
llmyf
ri
endwi
thsur
pri
sesI
t
ellyouanddadi
sgoi
ngt
oki
llyou.
”hechuckl
es.
Kuhl
e:“
stopbei
ngdr
amat
icandt
alk.
”

Me:“
food,
booze,
tent
,war
a-war
acheck.
”
Kuhl
e:“
whati
swar
a-war
a?”
Me:“i
tmeansyouhavenot
hingtowor r
yabout
.
Ever
ythi
ngi
sgoingtobefi
ne,per
fecteven.
”

Kuhl
e:“
haveyouboughtadr
essf
orher
?”
Me:“hebanathesear
enott
heawards,
it’
sjusta
l
obolathi
ng.Noneedtodomatchi
ngoutfi
tsand
shi
t.
”

Kuhle:“It
houghtNomawast hesavageone. ”
BeforeIcanr espondhehangsup.Thi sguyt hough.
Imeanwhodoesn’ tinf
ormthei
rpar t
nerabout
somet hi
ngt hi
shuge?Ihopeeverythingwillwork
outintheend.Thedooropens, Iguessthisismy
fi
rstcli
ent.Irai
semyheadandIf r
ownwhenIsee
Yandi
saNtul
i,
theol
destoftheNtul
ibr
other
s.He
comesfor
wardandstandnearthet
abl
e.

Me:“dowehaveanappoint
ment?”Iaskst
andi
ng
up.Hesmil
es.Goshwhatbeaut
if
ulteet
h.
Yandisa:“
morningandt hisisforyou.”hesays
handingmeagi ftbag.Itakeitandopeni t
.Ismile
whenIseeaSi nvit
ronLongSt em 24kgolddipped
realr
oseandacupwhi chhasmynameoni t
.Iturn
backtohim andIfrown.

Me:“
whatdi
dIdot
odeser
vet
his?
”
Yandisa:“
youarebeaut
if
ul.That
’swhyIbr
ought
youthese.”Il
ookathi
m.
Me:“
areyoucour
ti
ngmeMr
.Nt
uli
?”hescr
atches
hi
shead.

Yandisa:“
I’
dli
ketot
akeyououtonadat
e.”I
chuckleandshakemyhead.
Me:“Iam notl
ookingarel
ationship,ent
anglement
orafuckbuddy.Thanksforthegiftsbytheway.I
am notonetotur
nbackgi f
ts.”Iputthegif
tbagin
mydr awerandsi
tdown.

Yandi
sa:“
notadateperse.Butj
ustlunch,t
ogetto
knowyoubett
er.Icanset
tl
eforf
riendshi
p.”Il
augh.
Me:“set
tl
e?Kantewhatwer
eyouexact
lyhopi
ng
f
or?”hesitopposi
teme.
Yandisa:“
ifyouagr
eet
ogoonadat
ewi
thme,
Iwi
ll
tel
lyou.”

Me:“wel
lplayed.Butno.soyouar
emy9am
appoi
ntment?”
Yandi
sa:“
9to11.
”
Me:“
soyouar
egoi
ngt
oannoymet
il
l11?
”
Yandi
sa:“
ifyouagr
eet
ogoonadat
ewi
thme,
Iwi
ll
l
eaveevennow.”
Me:“
whyisthi
sdatesof
ucki
nimport
ant
?Whydo
youwannagooutwit
hme?”hesmir
ks.
Yandi
sa:“
becauseIl
ikeyou.
”Igr
oan.Nott
hisagai
n.

Me:“youareamar r
iedman.Goandputthatli
king
t
oyourwifeandleavemealone.Whydomar ri
ed
mendon’tgetsat
isf
ied?Youmadeyourchoice,now
l
ivewithi
t.
”
Yandi
sa:“
Imetherbef
oreIsawyou.That
’swhyI
marri
edher.
”

Me:“ t
hatdoesn’
tevenmakesenseandyouar e
crazy.GoYandisa.Iam notint
erestedinwhatever
typeofrel
ati
onshipyouareof f
ering.Iam notnaï
ve
andIam notdesper at
eforloveoraf f
ecti
on.”
Yandi
sa:“
yetyouar
esi
ngl
e.”

Me:“t
hat
’snoneofyourgoddam busi
ness.Butso
youmustknow,mysexualneedsaretakencar
eof,
soIdon’
tneedarel
ati
onshipfornow.AndwhenI
doneedit
,Iwil
lgof
oranavai
labl
eman.Nota
marr
iedone.
”
Yandi
sa:“
ther
eisnot
hingIcandot
ochangeyour
mind?
”

Me:“hellno.Iam notevenatt
ract
edtoyou.
Al
thoughImustgi veittoyou,youhavesomegut
s.
Butreadmyl ips,
wear eneverhappeni
ng.
”
Yandisa:“
anyt
hingyouwant,
Iwi
lldoi
t.Justone
chancetoshowyoul ove.
”

Me:“God,
pleasegoandnevercomeback.
”He
huf
fsandstandsup.
Yandi
sa:“
but
…”

Me:“
justl
eavedude.
”
Yandi
sa:“Iam l
eavi
ng.Butthi
si snott
helastt
ime
youwil
lbeseeingme.”Ijustr
ollmyeyes.“Bye
beaut
if
ul.
”Heheadsout .
Thener veofthatman.Aybo!Whatt hefuckjust
happened?Idon’ tbel
ievei
t.AwholeCEO!A
marriedman.Aski ngmet obehismi st
ress.Like
whyme?Am Isi dechickmateri
al?Thisguyi sjust
fr
ustrati
ngme.Iopenmyl aptopandstartaSkype
conferencecallt
oFuthyandNoma.Theyanswer
aft
erawhi le.

Noma:“
tase.
”
Fut
hy:“
youdon’
tlookwel
l.Whyyouupsetsoear
ly
i
nthemorni
ng?”
Me:“
youwon’
tbel
ievewhoj
ustcamet
oseeme.
”
BOTH:“
MABUTHO!
”If
rown.

Me:“f
uckno.whywoul
dhecomet
oseeme?
AnywaysYandi
sawasher
e.”
Fut
hy:“
Sandi
le’
sbr
other
?”
Me:“
theoneandonl
y.”
Noma:“
whatdi
dhewant
?”
Me:“
tot
akemeoutonadat
e.Appar
ent
lyhe‘
l
ikes
me’
.”
Noma:“
buthei
smar
ri
ed.
”

Futhy:“t
oawomanwhosavedmyl i
fe.Waitwhydid
hecomet oyou?Doesheseeyouasasi dechick
mat er
ial
?Heneedssomeser i
ousasswhoppi ng.
”I
actual
lychucklebecauseIhaveneverheardFuthy
tal
kaboutbeat i
ngupsomeone.

Noma:“hedoest
ase.Looksl
ikesomethi
ngi
s
wrongi
nhisbrai
n.Maybesomeoneshookhi
m har
d
orsomethi
ng.
”FuthyandIj
ustlaugh.
Me:“heevenboughtmeagol
ddi
ppedr
oseanda
per
sonali
zedmug.”
Fut
hy:“
didyouhithi
m wit
hthemugintheface?
”
NomaandIlaugh.Bothmyfri
endsar
ecrazy.
Me:“
no.Icouldn’
tletbeaut
if
ulgif
tsgot
owast
e.
Pl
usyoudon’ttur
nbackagi ft
.”
Fut
hy:“okay.That
’str
ue.Sowhatar
eyougoi
ngt
o
dowit
hyourYandi saissue?
”
Me:“Idon’
tknowf
ornowbutifhebecomesa
nui
sancethenIwi
llt
akeext
rememeasures.
”

Futhy:“what
everhappenstaseIam sor
rybutI
won’tincl
udemyselfbecauseyouknowheisa
cl
ient.
”
Noma:“babeswedon’twantyoui
ncl
udingyour
sel
f.
MinaIam goi
ngtogot oBl
ueDiamondandjust
curseathi
m,hi
sbloodyswine.
”Ij
ustl
augh.
Me:“
Iunder
standyourposi
ti
onFut
hy,
butwor
rynot
.
I
mmahandlehisass.”

Fut
hy:“
makesurehedoesn’
tendupbei
ngt
heone
whohandl
esyourass.
”
Me:“
fuckyou.
”shel
aughs.“
Byebat
ase.
”Ihangup.
Wayenzai
ndabaMphemba.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
14] :CHAPTER64

IcalledKear li
eront oprepareusunophut hufor
dinner .Ij
ustfeell
ikeitplusithasbeensol ong
si
nceIat ethi
s.It
’sTuesday.Imett hei nt
ernsthi
s
mor ningandt heywer eabunchofcoolki dsbut
witht herecentscandal ,
IaskedLisatodoa
backgr oundcheckont hem andhackt hei
rphones
sothatshecanseei ftheyareworkingwi t
hmy
compet
it
orornot
.

Itf
eelssowei rdnotwor ki
ngwi t
hZah, butXoliis
cool,soIhopewecanwor ktogetherinpeace.I
yawnasIam dr awingoneofmydesi gns.Itdoesn’
t
helpthatIsleptlat
elastnight,
thismor ni
ngactuall
y.
Idon’tknowwhyIam put ti
ngsomuchpr essurein
mysel f
,butIcan’tseem tostopnje.WhenIyawn
forthesecondt i
me, Ist
opwor king,Iam goingto
fai
ntphela.

MyphonebeepsandIchecki t
.It
’satextf
rom my
dadsayingIshoul dcomehomeandhavedi nner
wit
hthem tomorr ow.Iwonderwhatthat’
sallabout.
Ist
andupandki ckof fmyheel
s.AsIam aboutt o
cal
lXolisothatshecanor derl
unchforme, thedoor
opensandmyf i
ancéwal ksinwit
hpaperbags.I
j
ustsmi l
eli
keani di
ot.

Me:“
whoknewhavingafi
ancéwouldbet hi
smuch
f
un?”hel
aughs.Hepl
acesthepaperbagsonthe
tableandcomestohugandki
ssme.“
Yousmel
lso
nice.Il
oveyourcol
ogne.
”
Kuhl
e:“
andIl
oveyou.
”Ismi
le.
Me:“
whatdi
dyoubuy?
”

Kuhl
e:“
hakewi
thchi
pst
henwi
ngsandst
eak.
”
Me:“
you’
ret
hebest
.”
Kuhl
e:“Iknow,right
?”Ij
ustlaugh.Igoandplace
thef
oodont hepaperplates.It
akeitandplacei
ton
thet
ablenearthecouch.Hepour sthejui
ceforbot
h
ofusthenwesi tdownandst ar
teati
ng.

Me:“Ihaveafeel
ingt
hatyourexi
spl
anni
ng
somethi
ng.”Hefr
owns.
Kuhl
e:“
whydoyousayt
hat
?”
Me:“ Idon’
tknow.ButIhavethi
sunexpl
ainabl
e
feel
inginmygutt hatsomethi
ngbadisgoingt
o
happen.”
Kuhle:“
nothingisgoi
ngt
ohappent
oyoumyl
ove.I
wil
lprotectyou.
”
Me:“
ifyousayso.
”

Ireal
lyhaveabadf eeli
ng.Khokhodoesn’
talways
comei nmydr eams.Somet i
mesIgetafeeli
nglike
thi
sandIt henIjustknowthatsomethi
ngbadwi ll
happen.Ijusthopeharm won’tcometoanyofmy
l
ovedones.
.
.
Igethomeandgostrai
ghtt
othekit
chen.If
ind
mom cooki
ng.Ij
usthugherfr
om behi
nd.Shetur
ns
wit
hasmi l
eandhugsme.

Mom:“
howar
eyoumybaby?
”
Me:“
Iam f
inema,
justt
ir
ed.
”Isi
tont
hebar
stool
.
Mom:“
howwaswor
k?”
Me:“ t
er r
ibl
emama.Ikeepover workingmyself.I
can’tseem tost op.Thentherei
sthisgutfeeli
ng
thatkeepswar ningmeofdangerahead.What
frustr
atesmei st hatIdon’
tknowwhatt ypeof
dangert hatit
.Itwould’vebeenbett
erifkhokho
wer etocomeandwar nme.Shei sjustqui
et.
”She
dropst hespoonandcomest omysi de.

Mom:“ Iknowyouar enotaprayingwar r

iorbutGod
canr evealsomethingforyoui
fyouj ustpray.Doit
tonight.Justgodownonyourkneesandaskf or
guidanceandcl ari
tyfr
om Him becauseyour
khokhocanbeunr eli
ablesometi
mes. ”Igiggl
eand
thelaststatement.
Me:“
okayma,
Iwi
llt
ry.
”

Mom:“ nowhelpmedi shup.”wedi shupandgo

placet
hefoodatthedi nnert
able.Shealsocomes
backwithdr
inks.Isi
tonmychai randtheothers
comedown.Dadcomesandki ssesmyf orehead.
GcinoandThandogreetmeandt hensettl
edown.
ThandosaysGr
aceandt
henwest
arteat
ing.

Dad:“
thef
oodi sdeli
cious.Thankyoumkami .
”
Mom smil
es.Healwayscompl i
mentshercooki
ng.I
t
hinki
fhedoesn’t,
hepr obablyget
schasedfrom
t
hebedandor der
edt osleeponthecouch.

Wef ini
sheatingdinnerandThandogoest owash
thedisheswi t
hGci no’
shelp.Dadsayst her
eis
somet hi
ngser i
oushewant stodiscusswi t
hme.So
Ifol
lowhimt ohi sstudy.Mom al
sof ol
lowsus.We
getthereandIsi tonthecouch.Hepour swhiskey
forhimselfandwi neformom.Het henhandsme
bott
ledwat erfr
om hisbarfri
dge.Hesitsont he
tabl
eandf oldhislegs.

Dad:“
doyouhaveanypl
ansf
orSat
urday?
”If
rown.
Mom laughs.
Me:“
nott
hatIknowof
.Why?
”
Dad:“
goodbecauseyouri
n-l
awsar
ecomi
ngt
opay
l
obol
aforyou.
”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“
what
?”

Dad:“
shallIrepeatf
oryouoryouar
ejustsayi
ng
‘
what’becauseyoucan’tbel
i
evewhatIam sayi
ng?
”
Mom:“
stopbei
ngsar
cast
icLel
a.”

Me:“ t
heycan’tcomet hi
sSat urday.I
t’
sshor tnoti
ce.
AndKuhl ehasn’ttol
dme.I sn’thesupposedt otell
me?Doest hi
slobolashithappensl i
kethis?It
’shot
i
nher e.Whyam If eel
ingli
ket his?
”IstandupandI
feeldi
zzyinstantl
y.Il
osebal anceandIj ustsli
pand
fall
.Ifeelmymi ndshutt
ingdownandt heni t
’sli
ght
out.
.
.
*
**KUHLE*
**

Igot
omyr
oom af
terput
ti
ngAmahl
etosl
eep.She
wasaskingsomanyquestionsaboutFut hy.Yoh
ki
dscanbecur i
ousshame.It akemyphonet o
checktheti
meandIfrownwhenIseeami ssedcall
fr
om Futhy’
sdad.Whatcouldhepossiblywant ?
Unlesssomethi
nghappenedt oherbecauseshe
wasgoingtoeatdi
nnerwiththem toni
ght.Icall
him
backandheanswersimmedi atel
y.

Si
yabul
ela:“
youcoul
dn’
twai
ttonuti
nsi
deherneh?
”
If
rown.
Me:“
whatar
eyout
alki
ngaboutbaba?
”
Siyabul
ela:“youimpregnat
edmydaughterMann.I
underst
andt hatyouaregoingt
omarryherandshi
t
buttooearlyman. ”
Me:“
whathappenedt
oherbaba?Wher
eisshe?
”

Siyabul
ela:“weareatthehospit
al.Iam goingto
sendyout headdress.Justsoyouknow, lobol
a
moneyi sincreasi
ngbecauseyoukeeppi ssingme
off.Yer
r.
”Hehangsup.Fewmoment sl
aterhe
sendstheaddress.Ican’
tbel ieveFuthyi
spr egnant
,
wit
hmybaby.Iwannacel ebr atebutIwannaknow
what’
swr ongwithherfi
rst.Ical lXol
iand
Phumudzoi st
heonewhopi cksup.Ididn’teven
knowhewasi nt own.

Phumudzo:“
what
’supman?
”
Me:“
areyouguysbusy?
”
Phumudzo:“
justwat
chi
ngTV.I
sever
ythi
ngokay?
”

Me:“canyouguyscomet omyhouseandwat chmy

kidsf
oraf ewhoursnj e?Youcanevensleepinyour
room.Ihavet or
usht othehospi
tal
.Something
happenedt oFut
hy.”Ihearsomeshuffl
ingand
somet al
kingbutIdon’thearwhatt
heyaresaying.

Phumudzo:“wewillbether
ein10mi nut
esman.
Andcalm down.Iam surenot
hingextr
eme
happenedtoher.
”
Me:“
seeyousoon.
”
Ihangup.Igetdr essedintracksui
tsandsneakers.
Ithentakemyphone, wal
letandcarkeys.Ihead
downstairs.Ical
lMpenduloandt el
lhimt oprepar
e
thecarbecausewewi l
lbeleavingshortl
y.Few
minuteslaterthedooropensandXol icomesi nwit
h
Phumudzo.

Me:“Iam sor
ryfordist
urbi
ngyourcuddl
ingguys.
”
Phumudzochuckl eswhil
eXol
ibit
esherfinger
nai
ls.
Sheseemsner vous.
Xol
i:“
pleaseupdat
esusonwhathappenedt
oher
assoonasyouhearanyt
hing.
”
Me:“
okay.Iwi
ll
.Thanksagai
n.”

Iheadoutandf indMpendul ointhecar,al

ready
wait
ing.Icli
mbi nsideandt ellhi
m whichhospit
al
wear egoingto.Wegett hereinahurryandwego
i
nside.Wef i
ndFut hy’smom anddadi nthewaiti
ng
room.Weexchangegr eeti
ngandIsitdown.
Me:“
whathappenedma?
”
Futhy’
sMom:“ weweretelli
ngheraboutSat urday.
Shejuststartedhyperventil
ati
ngandt henshe
fai
nted.Webr oughtherhere.Thedoctorsrant est
s
andfoundoutt hatshewast hreeweekspr egnant,
withtwins.
”If rownandt henIremembert heni ght
wemadel ove, af
terLi
sa’
sumemul o.That’
s
probablywhensheconcei ved.

Fut
hy’
sdad:“
tri
plel
obol
awenaIam t
ell
ingyou.
”
Futhy’
smom:“shutupwena.”Hechuckl
esand
l
ooksdown.Tearsofj
oyjustrol
ldownmycheeks.
“Aww.”Shecomestohugme.“ Howdoyoufeel
baba?”

Me:“Iam happyma.Iam f
inall
ygoingtogetki
dsof
myown.Iam overthemoonr eall
y.I
t’
s
unbel
ievabl
e.”
Fut
hy’
smom:“
whatdoyoumeanki
dsofyourown?
Youal
readyhaveki
dsnj
e.”Ichuckl
e.

Me:“t
heyarenotmi
nema.Myexwi f
efool
edme
andmademer ai
seki
dsofanot
herman.That’
sone
oft
hereasonswhyIdi
vor
cedher.
”Shegasps.
Fut
hy’smom:“
howcanshebet
hiscr
uel
?Shei
s
evi
l.
”

Me:“Ihavegott
enoveritandIam noteven
heart
brokenaboutthedivor
ce.Ijustfel
tbadabout
herdraggi
nginnocentsoulsint
ot hi
s.Thisi
swhyI
fi
ledforpri
marycustodyofthem.”

Fut
hy’sdad:“youdidwell
.Youactedlikearealman.
Imightbelenientonthel
obola.
”Futhy’smom andI
l
augh.Heisj ustbei
ngsil
lyandit
’sactual
lyf
unny.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
15] :CHAPTER65

Iopenmyeyesandl ookaround.Hospital
?Real ly?
Dadcanbesodr amaticsometimes.Ijustfai
nted.
Heshoul d’
vespri
nkl
edwat erinmyf ace,notbring
meher e.Isi
tupandpr essthebuzzer.Lookslike
i
t’
salreadymor ni
ng.Thedooropensandadoct or
walksinfoll
owedbyanur se.

Doct
or:“
you’
reawake.Goodmor
ningMi
ssCel
e.”
Hemakeshiswaytowardsmybed.
Me:“morni
ngdoct
or.Iam sur
eyouar
eher
eto
di
schar
geMe.”hesmi l
es.
Doctor:“youar eluckynothi
ngi swrongwi thyou.
Alsopl easetakeiteasyandt akecareoft hel
ittl
e
onesinsi deyou.Youcangoshower .Yourmot her
broughtyoucosmet icsearl
ieron.Aftershowering,
wewi lldoanul tr
asoundf i
rstbefor
eIdi schar
ge
you.”If r
own.

Me:“ul
tr
asound?Lit
tl
eones?Doct
or,
whatar
eyou
t
alki
ngabout?”hesmil
esagai
n.
Doctor
:“youarepregnantwithtwins.Youdidn’
t
know?”myhear tski
psabeat .Kuhle’
ssperms
doesn’
tplay,
neh?Damnt hatwasf ast
.
Me:“
howf
aram i
?”

Doctor:“
threeweeks.
”Wow, sohescor edwhilewe
wereatNongoma.Iam goi ngtomaket hingsso
har
df orhim.Iam sti
llmadathim aboutthe
sur
priselobola.
Me:“
okay.Letmegoshowert
hen.
”
.
.
WhenIam packingmyclothesonthebagthatmom
l
eft
,thedooropensandthedevilwal
ksin.he
comestowhereIam standing,
hugsandthen
ki
ssesme.

Kuhl e:“
howar eyoubaby?”Ijustkeepqui etandsi
t
ont hebedwai t
ingfort
hedoct or
.“Didyouhear
me? ”Ijustgivehim aninti
midati
ngl ookandkeep
quiet.“Baby,whatdidIdo? ”owIcant hinkofa
numberofr easonsbutIam exercisi
ngmyr i
ghtt
o
remai nsil
ent.Thedoctorcomesi nwi ththenurse
whoi swheelingintheult
rasoundmachi ne.

Doctor
:“yourHighness,wear
eblessedtohaveyou
her
e.”hesayssmi l
ing.Thi
sdoct
orlovestosmil
e
Neh.Kuhlealsosmiles.
Kuhl
e:“
Iam honor
ed.Ican’twaittoseemy
pr
eci
ouskids.
”Thedoctorgivesthenurse
i
nqui
sit
ivel
ookandplugsinthemachi ne.
Doct
or:“pl
easel
ieonthebedandt
akeof
fyour
dr
ess.”Idoashesays.
.
.
Kuhle:“
Ireal
lydon’tunder
standwhyyou’remadat
meandwhyyou’ r
egi vi
ngmet hesi
lentt
reat
ment.
”
Wewer enowi nmybedr oom andIwaspackinga
fewclot
hesbecauseIam supposedt osleephome
t
onight.

Me:“youf uckenimpr egnatedme, withnotonebut

t
wobi gheadedki dsl
ikeyou.Tomakemat t
ers
worse,youar esendingyourr epresentat
ives
wit
houtt el
lmeanyt hing.Isthishowi t
’sgoingtobe
i
nourr elati
onship?Ladieslovesur pri
sesbutnot
whenit’sli
kethis.”Hesighsandsi t
sdown.

Kuhl
e:“
Iam sor
ry.Pl
easef
orgi
veme.
”
Me:“
what
ever
.”
Kuhl
e:“
pleaseMaCel
e.”Hecomesandhugsme
t
ight
.Ij
ustmel
tinhi
sar
ms.

Me:“okay,okay.Stopsqueezi
ngt
hel
if
eoutofMe.
”
hechucklesandr el
easesme.
Kuhl
e:“
Iloveyousomuch.Youknowt
hat
?”Ismi
le.
Me:“ Il
oveyou.”hetakesmybagsandwehead
downst ai
rs.Iam shockedt
ofi
ndmyf ri
endsther
e.
“Don’tt
ellmeyouknewaboutt hi
s.”Theybot
hsmi l
e
nervously.

Lee:“
itwasf
ort
hegr
eat
ergoodt
ase.
”Ir
ollmyeyes.
Me:“
what
’sl
eftt
odo?
”shel
aughs.
Noma:“buyingmoregrocer
ies.Youknowt
her
ecan
neverbeenoughfood.
”
Me:“
okay.Let
’spassbyt
hemal
lthen.
”

Kuhl
e:“
soIwil
lonlyseeyouonSat
urday?
”he
pout
sandIj
ustgiggl
e.
Noma:“wewil
lwaitforyououtsi
de.”Theyheadout
.
Hepul
lsmeclosertohim andgivesmeaqui ck
har
dkisst
hatl
eavesmewant i
ngmor e.
Me:“
baby.
”Iwhi
ne.
Kuhl
e:“
youwi
lll
ive.
”

Me:“
but2minut
esnj
e.”Hechuckl
esandunbuckl
es
hi
sbelt
.Ismi
lewi
del
yandhejustchuckl
es,
shaki
ng
hi
shead.
.
.
Wegett othemallandbuygroceries.Whenwear e
donewebuymor ebooze.Weal sogobuysome
cl
othesbecauseyoucanneverhavet oomuch
cl
othes.Leesuggeststhatwegot oNandosfor
l
unchbutIam notf eel
inggri
ll
edmeet .If
eell
ike
havi
nginhloko,sowegot oapubwher ewebuyit
andthendr i
vehome.

Wegett
her
eandf
indonl
yThandoathome.Shei
s
l
eavingforLondonSundaymorning.Sheissuper
exci
tedandcan’tst
opbraggi
ngaboutit.Weunload
thefood,packi
tandNomast ar
tscooking.If
eel
superti
red,soIj
ustgoandrest
.

Iwakeupthefoll
owingdayandgobath.WhenIam
done,
Igetdressedandthendownstai
rs.If
indmom
dri
nki
ngteaandwat chi
ngsomethi
ngonhert abl
et.

Me:“mommy.
”Ihugherf
rom behind.Sheplaces
hert
abl
etont
hecount
erandturnstostareatme.
Mom:“
Lwandl
ewami.”Shehugsme.“Iam pr
oudof
t
hewomanyouhavebecome.”Igi
ggl
e.
Me:“don’
tst
artwi
thanemotionalspeech.I
t’
stoo
ear
lyfort
hat
.”shechuckl
es.

Mom:“
whatwoul
dyoul
iket
oeat
?”
Me:“Iwantcerealanddon’
twor
ry,
Iam goi
ngtodo
i
tmyself.
”Ipreparecer
ealandt
hensi
tonthe
bar
stool
.
Mom:“ sot
ellmeaboutKuhl
e.Howdidyour
r
elat
ionshi
pstar
t?”Ibl
ushandlookdown.

Me:“ wehadachi l
lazinmyhouse, wher ehekissed
me.Af t
erthathetoldmet hathelovesme.He
carri
edonr emindi
ngmeabouthi sfeeli
ngsbutI
keptontell
inghimt hatIwon’tset
tl
ef orbri
ngasi de
chickorasecondwi f
e.Het hensai
dhewi lldi
vorce
hiswifeforme.Ididn’tbel
ievehim becausethat’
sa
commonsongt omar riedmenwhoar ehaving
affai
rs.
”

“Wewentt othisweekendget awayandwesl ept

together.Af t
erthathet ol
dmet hatheisgoi
ngt o
fi
ghtf orourl ove.IwenttoWomal enaandwhenI
camebackhehadn’ tgott
enoverme.Heact uall
y
toldhissi bl
ingsandf atheraboutme.Weonl y
starteddat i
ngi nDecemberandweact uall
ydi dn’
t
date.Hej ustpr oposedandIaccepted.Andher ewe
are.”Hel aughs.
Mom:“it
’sf
unnyreal
ly.I
t’
sanamusi nglovestor
y.
Peopl
egett
ingmarri
edwithoutdat
ing.Justl
ikean
ar
rangedmarri
age.
”
Me:“
yeahr
ight
.Wher
eisdad?
”
Mom:“hewentt
obuymeatatEshowewi
thyour
br
other
s.”

Me:“
Lel
eishome?
”
Mom:“hecamel
astni
ght
.Unf
ort
unat
elyyouwer
e
sl
eepi
ng.
”
Me:“guessIwil
lseehi
m whent
heycomeback.So
whatishappeni
ngtoday?
”

Mom:“ someofthefami
lymember sarecomi
ng.I
r
eall
ydon’tknowwhycouldn’
ttheyjustcome
t
omor r
ow.Theyjustwannacr
owdmyspacenj e.
”I
l
aughandsheal sol
aughs.
Me:“Iam goi
ngt
ostopbytheoffi
ceforawhi
leand
Iam gonnacomeback.Iwon’
tevenstayf
orl
ong.”
Mom:“ l
etmecomewithyou.Iam bor
ed.”Ifi
nish
eati
ngandweheadout.ZamohdrivesustoDCC.
Wegetthereandfi
ndZahandBobatt herecepti
on
deskinmyfloor
.
Me:“
Heyguys.
”
Zah:“heyboss.Xol
ihasal
readyt
oldust
hatyou
aren’
tcomingintoday.
”

Me:“ther
eissomet
hingIneedf
rom myof
fi
ce,
then
Iwi
llbeout.
”
Zah:“okay.Wi
llseeyoutomor
row.Mrs.Cele,
l
ookingfineasalways.
”Mymom giggles.
Mom:“
thankyouZanel
e.”

Igot omyof f
iceandtakesomeofmyunf ini
shed
sketches.Ir
ollt
hem andputthem inthetube.We
thenheadoutandwef i
rstgotoaspa.Wegetf ul
l
bodymassagesandwaxes.Af terthatwedoour
mani cur
eandpedicure.Wearej ustpamperi
ng
our
sel
vesnje.Whenwear edone,
wegobythat
samespotIwenttoyest
erdayandbuyi
nhl
oko.

Wet henheadhomeandf inddadwi thal lhis

children.Theyar echil
li
ngandl aughingoutl oud.
WhenIgeti n,Lelecomesandhugsme.Outofal l
mysi bli
ngs,Leleismyf avori
te.Wej ustunder stand
eachot herwellandwear ealwayst her eforeach
other .Dadalsocomest ohugmeandki ssesmy
forehead.Weexchangegr eet
ingswi thBusiandher
husband.Herchi ldr
enthrowt hemsel vesatme.

Me:“youguyslookallgr
ownup.Youshoul
d
def
ini
tel
yvisi
tmei nJune.”
Thabang:“
youcanbetoni
t.
”Theygot
omom next
.
Lel
e:“
Ican’
tbel
ieveyouar
egett
ingmar
ri
ed.Who
knewyouwouldmarryapri
nce?
”
Gci
no:“
letal
oneget
ti
ngmar
ri
ed?
”Ij
ustr
ollmyeyes.

Me:“
Iwi
shIwast
heonegoi
ngt
oLondon,
away
f
rom yourannoyi
ngasses.
”
Lele:“you’
ret
heonewhowoul dbeinvi
ti
ngme
within2weeksofsettl
ingin.you’
dbeli
ke‘bhut
y
pleasecomeseeme, Imi ssyousomuch’.”He
i
mi tatesmyvoiceandtheylaugh.
Me:“cont
inuel
aughi
ngliket
hatandIwi
llt
ellt
he
Zul
uf ami
lynott
ogiveyouanyt
hingdur
ing
umembeso.”

Gcino:“
thepri
ncel
ovesus.Hewoul
ddef
ini
tel
ygo
behindyourbackt
omakeushappy.
”
Me:“ Igiveup.”Istandupandheadt omyroom.I
placet hetubeonmybed.Dadget sinasIam
taki
ngof fmyshoes.Isitonthebedandhecomes
tositnextt ome.“Itol
dmom t oholdoffwi
tht
he
emot ionalspeechesandthatalsoappl
iest
oyou.
”
hejustl aughs.

Dad:“Itol
dthatboyofyoursthatl
obolai
sgoingt
o
costhim becausehechosetonutinsi
deyou.He
l
eftnotone,
buttwoofhi
skind.SoIam def
ini
tel
y
goi
ngtochargehim ami
ll
iontomor
row.”
Me:“
don’
tworr
y.Hecanaff
ordit
.”Hel
ooksatme
andwebot
hjustl
augh.Hehugsme.

Dad:“Ican’
tbeli
eveIwillbemarryingoffmyf emale
ver
sion.Justdon’tswearatyourin-l
aws.”Icover
myfacewi t
hmyhands.
Me:“It
hinki
tmightbel
atefort
hatadvi
ce.
”He
l
aughsandshakeshishead.

Dad:“
you’
rehopel
ess.
”
Me:“
lookatt
het
reecal
li
ngt
heappl
ehopel
ess.
”
Dad:“
justshutup.
”webot
hlaugh.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
15] :CHAPTER66

Thef oll
owi ngmor ningIam wokenupbysi nging.I
reall
ydon’ tunder standwhyt heyar esinging.Icurse
undermybr eat
h.Isl eptverylatel
astni ght.InfactI
sleptthismor ning.I fmyhor monesar et heones
doingmel ikethis,maki ngmewor ki
ngover t
ime,
thenit’
snotcool .Igetupf rom thebedandmy
phoner i
ngs.It’
sKuhl e.Ij
ustignoreitandheadt o
thebat hroom.

Ibrushmyt eeth,showerandt hendr yandlotionmy

body.It
hengetdr essedi napowderbl uewith
fl
owersthree-quartersleeveV-neckcolourblock
regul
ardressandbl ackVersacevirtusfl
atsandals.
Ithenputonabl uedoek.Imakemybedandt ake
myphone.Il aughwhenIsee10mi ssedcall
sf r
om
Kuhl
e.Ical
lhi
m back.

Kuhl
e:“
Iseeyouwantmet ohaveaheartat
tack
neh?
”Ij
ustlaughagai
n.“
It
’sgoodtoknowthatI
amuseyou.
”
Me:“cal
m downmyl
ove.Ij
ustcameoutoft
he
shower.
”
Kuhl
e:“whendi
dyousl
eep?
”Icl
earmyt hr
oat
.I
don’
tknowhowheisgoi
ngtof
eelaboutme
over
worki
ngmysel
f.

Me:“
ear
ly,
ver
year
ly.Soonaf
terdi
nnermyl
ove.
”
Kuhl
e:“
ist
hatso?
”
Me:“
yes.
”
Kuhl
e:“
howar
eyout
hismor
ning?
”

Me:“f
ine,j
usthungry.Wewi llt
alkaft
erIhave
eat
en.”Iknowthatwillshuthim up.
Kuhle:“Iknowwhatyou’
redoi
ngbutIwi
lll
eti
t
sl
ide.”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“
byel
ove.
”Ihangup.

Igodownst ai
rs.Thesepeopl ear esti
llsi
ngi
ng.I t
mustbet heal cohol.Igreetthem andImakecer eal
formyself.Igoandeatatt heloungebecauset hey
arecookingatt hekitchen.Isitandt uneintoNet f
li
x.
Thereisthisser i
esIlovet hesedaysandIl ove
repeat
ingi t
.It
’sBridgeton.Iopeni tandstarteati
ng
mycer eal.Dadcomesi nwear ingblackformal
shoes,blackturtl
eneck, bl
ackdr essshoesanda
browncoat .

Me:“damndad.Youl ooksuper
fly.I
fyouar elooking
thi
ssmar tjustforthenegoti
ati
ons, Iam pr
ettysure
yourweddingt uxedowi l
lbeimported.”Helaughs
andsitsdownonhi scouch.Youknowhowbl ack
famil
iesare,theheadoft hehousehol dhashis/her
owncouch.
Dad:“
youdon’
tlookbadyour
sel
f.
”Il
augh.
Me:“youdidwellbyweari
ngabr owncoat.I
fyou
woreablackone,peopl
ewoul d’
vethoughtt
hatyou
ar
eamaf iaki
ng.”Hechuckles.
Dad:“
JABU! ”shecomesi naf
teraf
ewmoment
s.
“Angi
zibonengihl
afuna.
”
Mom:“udaki
we.”Ichokeandspi
tthecor
nfl
akes.I
thenl
augh.“
Stoplaughi
ngoryouaregoi
ngto
chokeonyourfood.
”

Dad:“canwegobackt ot he‘udaki
we’statement
?”
mom laughsandr ol
lshereyes.“SI
JABULI LE!
”he
saysinafir
mt one.Shejustlaughsandr unstot
hei
r
bedroom.“Yourmothercanbechi l
dish
sometimes.”Hesaysstandingup.

Me:“
andyoul
ovepl
ayi
ngwi
thher
.”
Dad:“f
uckoff.
”Il
aughandheal
sof
oll
owshi
swi
fe.
Thesetwolovesexshame.
.
.
Iam wi thmyf ri
endsi nmyr oom.TheZul u
negot i
atorshavearrived.UncleSakhi si
zweis
umkhongibutal sothekingispar tofthe
negot i
ators.Theotherunclei salsohereandsoi s
MbusoandPhumudzo.Kuhl e’
sfriendsarewithhi
m
outside.Ifdadwer etoseet hattheyar edri
nki
ngin
thatmi nibustheyar ein,hewoul dprobablyaddto
thelobolamoney.

Ihaven’ttol
dmyf ri
endsaboutt hepregnancyandI
al
soaskeddadnott oment i
oni tdur
ingthelobola
negotiat
ions.Iam carr
yingfuturel
eaders.I
shouldn’tbegoingaroundtell
ingeveryonethatIam
pregnant.RoyalbabiesarealwaysindangerandI
don’twannaputmyki dsindanger.

Noma:“ Iam sohappyf oryoufri

end.Li
keIam over
themoon.If eell
ikesingi
ngloud.”Shestar
ts
singi
ng.Gosh.She, Lee,Danny,ZahandXolisl
ept
veryl
atethismor ni
ngandt heywer edr
inki
ngli
ke
fi
shes.Evennowt heydi
dn’tnur
sethei
rhangover
s.
Theyjustcarr
iedonwiththedri
nki
ng.“UBETHI
UBHUTIASI ZOMLANDA, UMAKOTI ,NO
UMKHWENYANA! ”Wealll
augh.

Lee:“
nof r
iend.That’
sthewrongsong.Wear eon
thebr
idesideandwear enotent
eri
ngthegates.
Notyet.Weshoul dbesingi
ng‘WESIBALI
,SIBALI
SAMI,MAYEKWEHLULAMBUYI SELEEKHAYA’ .
”

Theyallst
artsi
ngingalongandyoht henoise.Iam
j
ustlaughi
ng.Af ewmi nutesl
aterwehearaknock
onthedoor.Yoht hespeedinwhichtheyhidethe
al
coholisveryamusing.Theysitli
keinnocent
angelsi
nthebedandsomesi tonthecouch.
Thandogoesandopenst hedoor.Myaunt ygetsi
n.

AuntFiki
le:“
youaremaki
ngnoi
se.Theyar
etr
ying
t
owor kdownstai
rs.”
Danny:“
aunt
yFeet
hisi
snotaf
uner
albutaj
oyous
occasi
on.Sowear
egoi
ngt
osi
ngt
il
lthesunset
s.”
AuntFi
kil
e:“Iam nott
alki
ngtoyouwenastabane.
Learnt
omi ndyourbusiness.
”Dannyst
andsup
dramat
ical
ly.

Danny:“
tel
lmeshedidn’
tjustsaythat
.UuuIam
goi
ngtowipet
hefloorwi
thyourf ace.
”

Lindsay:“calm downbabes. ”hesaysmakinghis

wayi n.“Andaunt i
e,theyarecall
ingforyou
downst air
s.”Shelooksatusandt henheadsout.
“Sheisdr amat i
cthatone,neverpayattent
iont
o
her.”Zahst andsupandst artssi
nging.GoshIso
wishIwasal sodrunkr i
ghtnow.

Zah:“
USBALIUYATELEBHELA!
”
THEM:“
USHAYAKANCANE,USHAYAKANCANE,
USHAYAKANCANEUSBALIUYATELEBHELA!
”such
avi
be.
.
.
Everythi
ngwentwel lwi
thnegot iat
ions.Daddi dn’t
evencallmet oaski fIknowt hem ornot .Hecalled
meandwasl i
ke‘t
hisisyourbr ideke.Ifyoudon’ t
feelher,
fuckoff.
’ Thekinglaughedbecausehe
knowshi sfri
end’ssenseofhumorwhi letheothers
seemedof fended.Ther oyal
smovedt ot hetentand
Kuhleandhi sfri
endsandsi blingsalsocameoutof
thebusandt heyar eseatedatt hetent.

Mom:“ youFuthywi l
lfi
rstserveyourhusbandand
thenservehi
sf ather
.Remembert okneelnehbaby.
Butifyoudon’
tf eell
ikeit
,thendon’t
.”Il
augh.Her
husband’sat
ti
tuder ubbedof fonher.

Thandogoest ot hetentwit
hthebasinanddi sh
cl
ot hsothattheycanwasht heirhands.Mom
handsmeKuhl e’sfood.It
akeitandgot othetent
.I
wast ol
dnott olookatthein-
lawsintheeyes.Ispot
Kuhleandt hengot ohim.Ikneelinfr
ontofhim, I
stealalookathim andhehast hisannoyingsmug
onhisf
ace.Ij
ustknowt
hatheandhi
sfr
iendsar
e
uptosomethi
ng.

Phi
la:“
theCEOMadoda.
”
Mbuso:“
themul
ti
mil
li
onai
re.
”
I
saac:“
theawar
dwi
nner
.”Ij
ustchuckl
eandt
hey
l
augh.
Me:“
herei
syourf
oodNdabezi
tha.
”Hesmi
lesand
t
akesit
.

Kuhle:“t
hankyouMaDubandl el
a.”Ibl
ushandthen
standup.Igobacktothekit
chen, t
akethefoodof
thekingandgoservehim.Ikneelagainandheis
j
ustsmi l
ingatme.Helooksjustli
kehisson.No
wonderwomenl ovehi
mt hismuch.Hei s
handsome.

Me:“
Sthul
isi
kaNdaba.
”
Ki
ng:
“wangi
shokamnandiMaNdosi
.”Ismi
leand
standup.It
urntoleave,
justthenKuhl
ecal
lsmy
name.Ihuffandturntolookathim wi
thaf
ake
smile.
Kuhle:“
justwantedtosayIl
oveyouandyoul
ook
ver
ybeaut i
ful
.”Ibl
ushandlookdown.

Me:“Il
oveyou.
”It
henr
ushbacki
nsi
deandt
hey
l
augh.
Zah:“
whatar
etheyl
aughi
ngat
?”
Me:“ Kuhlej
usttoldmeIam beautifulandthathe
l
ovesme.Thesei diot
sar el
aughi
ngatt hefactt
hatI
blushed.”Myfri
endsl augh.“
Iam hungrythough.”
Myf ri
endsdishupandgosi tont
het ent,
somenext
totheirpart
ner
s.

Mom:“
letmedi
shupf
oryou.Whatwoul
dyoul
ike
t
oeat
?”
Me:“uphut
hu,usunet
humbu.Nosaladsplease.
”
Shechuckl
esanddishesupforme.Shethenhands
metheplat
e.Shepoursjui
ceformeandhandsme
t
hegl
ass.

Mom:“ goandsitnexttoyourhusband.
”Irollmy
eyes.Igotothetentandsitnextt
ohim.Istart
eati
ngwithoutsayi
nganythingtohim.
Kuhl
e:“
thatl
ooksdel
ici
ous.
”
Me:“yeahbuti
t’
smi
neandIam notshar
ing.
”He
l
aughs.

Kuhle:“
hau,what’smi
neisyoursandwhat’
syour
s
i
smi nenjesthandwasami.AwubeIshar
ist
.”I
shakemyhead.
Me:“
noti
nthi
scase.
”
Sbo:“
maphasisFut
hy.
”Igi
vehi
m adeat
hst
areand
theyl
aughatme.

Me:“tel
lThandot
ogodishupforyouorgot
othe
ki
tchen.Mom wil
lgl
adl
ydishupforyou.
”
Sbo:“ushokwabazwayo. ”Hesaysst
andingupand
headingtot heki
tchen.Hecomesbackwithaplat
e
thathasuphut hunosu.Whenthesei
diot
sseehim
eati
ng,theyallstandupandheadtothekit
chen,
evenKuhl e.Ij
ustlaughshaki
ngmyhead.

King: “
ifwewer einanotherhousehold,Iwouldsay
theseboysar eembar r
assingmebutwear ei nmy
fri
end’shouse,sohewi llunderst
and.”Him andthe
elderslaugh.Theseidi
otscomebackl aughingand
eating.Theyseemssocar ef
ree,l
iketheyareinthei
r
homes.Theysi tdownandeatt heirf
ood.Dad
comesandsi tnexttohisfri
end.

Dad:“myfamil
yisshockedbytheway‘royal
ty’
is
behavi
ng.
”Theki ngl
aughsandroll
shi
seyes.“Let’
s
gohaveaf ewbeersi
nmyst udy.
”Hestandsupand
theki
ngalsostandsup.
King:“
willseeyoul
aterbr
other
s.Kuhl
eandyour
squad,behave.”
Kuhle:“
yesdad.”Dadandt heki
ngmaket
hei
rway
i
nsidethehouse.“Iam t
hir
stynow.
”
Me:“ you’r
edrunk.
”Her ol
lshiseyesandl augh.
“Thandogoandcal lLeleforMe.”shestandsupand
headsi nsi
de.Theybothcomebackl ater.“Bhut
y
pleaseservetheguestsalcohol
.”Hebows.

Lele:“
yourMaj
est
y.”Hesayswi
thasmugonhi
s
face.
Me:“youaregoi
ngt
opayf ort
hat.
”helaughsand
l
eaves.Fewmomentslat
erhim,Gcinoandmy
cousi
nscomeandplacetheboozeinfrontoft
he
guest
s.
Phil
a:“
that
’swhatIam t
alki
ng.
”Hi
sfr
iendscheer
.
Thesehool
igans.
.
.
Thefol
lowingmorni
ngweal
lwakeupandpr epare
togototheair
por
t.I
t’
sabi
tt
ersweetdaybecause
asmuchaswear ehappyt
hatThandoisgoingto
pursueherdreams,wearesadthatsheisleavi
ng.
Wear esogoingtomissher.Wearenoweat ing
breakf
ast.Ever
yoneisqui
et,wearejustf
ocusingon
thefood.

Gcino:“Iam goi
ngt omi ssyourannoyi
ngself.Iam
goingtomi ssyoucooki ngformewhenyouwantt o
coverforyou.Iam goingt omissyousingi
ngf or
mewheneverIl oseamat chorwhenachi ck
rej
ectedMe. ”wealllaughathim.Evendadis
l
aughing.“ Weshouldn’tbethissad.Weshouldbe
cel
ebrating.”

Thando:“
Iam goi
ngt
omi
ssyouguyssomuch.
”
Me:“wear
egoingt
omissyout
ooandIpr
omi
sewe
wi
llcomeseeyoui
nJul
y.”
Thando:“t
hat’
sgreat.
”Wef ini
sheati
ngandthen
dri
vehertotheair
port.“
It’
stimeformetospread
mywi ngsandli
fttheCelenameevenhigher.
”
Dad:“
that
’sthespiri
tpr
incess.
”Hehugsherand
ki
ssedherforehead.
Mom:“Il
oveyouangel
.”Shealsohugsher.Weal l
hugher
.Thi
sisanemot i
onalmomentforallofus.
Thando:“
seeyouwhenIseeyou.
”shetakesher
l
uggageandgoestoboar
dtheplane.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
15] :CHAPTER67

Duetomyt ri
ptoBrookl
yn,
wehadt ot
ake
i
ngqibamasondothi
sSatur
day.I
tisaweekaftert
he
negoti
ati
ons.Weboughtsomanygrocer
ies.I
t
doesn’thelpthatthekinghas5wi ves.Ialsohaveto
buyfort helat
equeenmot herandal soforKuhle.I
al
soboughtbl anket
sfort hewi ves,thekingand
Kuhle.Weal soboughtmanyf rui
tsandamadumbe
nobhat ata.Mom saiditstr adi
ti
on.Ialsobought
basketsofgoodi esforthem.

Wear eonourwayt oNongoma.Wehi r

edat r
uckso
thatwecouldloadthegroceries.Mom managedt o
gathermostofmycousi nstoaccompanyus.Ihi red
twoVW Kombi stotransportpeople,that’
smy
cousinsandaunts.Myf ri
endswant edt ofl
exwith
thei
rcars.Dr
ama.Wegett othepal aceandpar k
outsi
de.Goshmyf ri
endsar edr unkagain.Iwishto
bethem.

Theystartsi
ngingwhil
et heyunloadthegr oceri
es
fr
om thetruck.Myfri
endsar everylookingclassy,
i
t’
sjustthattheyar
edr unk.Theysepar atethefood
i
ntosevenpacks.Theyar egoingt ogoi nsi
deseven
ti
mes,behambi set
oeachwi f
e,thentot helat
e
queenmot
herandt
oKuhl
e.Ical
lNomaandLee.

Lee:“
whati
sitt
ase?
”
Me:“ i
ntoengizoyi
dakwamhl akushadanina.
”They
bothlaugh.Iopenmywal letandtakeoutR5000.I
don’tknowhowmucht heyar egoingtochar
ge
them foropeningthegat
e.“ThisisforJohntovul
a
thegate.”

Noma:“sowhenwegettot
hegat
ewemustsay
‘
nasist
oko’
?”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“basi
cal
lyyouar
et hest
okoNeh.
”Theyl
augh
agai
n.IhandNomathemoney.“Nowgoandsingin
fr
ontofthegat
eunti
ltheyopeni
t.
”
Lee:“
yessi
r.
”Theygotothegat
eandstartsi
ngi
ng:
‘
BABAMNUMZANE, UYEYESIVULELESINGENE!’

Theyopent hegat
ef ort
hem aft
erpaying.Theyt
hen
comebackt otakethefoodandtakeitinsi
dewhil
e
si
nging.Theydothisforseventi
mesandt henti
me
comesf ormetogoinsidewiththem.Theytakethe
blanket
sandgif
tbagsf orthewives.It
akean
enamelbasinwit
hisfullofsweetsandcarr
yit.
Theystartsi
ngi
ngagain.

Weent erthegatesandIst artt

hrowingthesweets
asi nstr
ucted.Manyki dsrusht ocatchthem and
somepi ckthem from theground.Iam supposedto
goar oundt hepalacebuti t
’shugesowest opatthe
front,opposit
et hemai ndoor.Amahl eandZweli
rusht omeandaskf orthesweets.Igiggl
eandgive
them ther emaining.

Nomaasksf orachairandt heybr i

ngi tnearwhere
wear estanding.Theystartcalli
ngthewi vesand
theyallcomet ocoll
ecttheirblanket
sandgi f
tbags.
Icanseet heywer enotexpectingthisbecauset hey
seem surpri
sed.Kuhlealsoget scalled.Ibought
him asuitanddr essshoes.Alsoabl anket
.Iwrap
theblanketaroundhim andpl acethesui tand
shoesont opofhi m.Hei sblushinglikecrazy.
Kuhle:“youlookbeauti
fulmywi f
e.”Ismile.Iam
wearingar edoffshoul
dersishweshweA- li
nedress
wit
hamat chingheadwr apandredSt eveMadden
Mali
buhi ghheelpump.
Me:“thankyoumyprince.Youal
solook
handsome.”Heiswearingumbhl
aselowit
h
i
zimbadadaandumqhel e.

Wewr apupt heceremonyandt heyleadust othe

l
oungewher ethetabl eisfi
ll
edwi thl
oadsoff ood.
It
’sli
keaf eastorsomet hi
ng.IsitdownandLeeand
Nomasi tonmyl eftandr i
ght.Idishupjust
steamedbr eadandbeefcur ry.Ithenpourjui
cef or
mysel fandstarteating.Iknowi twil
lonlybea
mat t
eroft i
mebef oret hewivescallme.Ifini
sh
eati
ngandt hendrinkmyj uice.Amahl egetsi
nt he
l
oungeandl ooksar ound.Shespot smeandsmi l
es
andt hencomet ome.

Amahl
e:“
gogoi
scal
li
ngyouaunt
y.”Whatdi
dIsay?
Ismileandstandup.Shepul l
smewi thherti
ny
armsandIj ustfol
lowher.Shelookssoadorabl
e
ri
ghtnow.Shel eadsmet oanotherl
ounge,Iwonder
howmanyl oungest heyhaveinthi
spalace,whi
ch
i
sf i
ll
edwithwomen.

MaDlomo:“
mybeaut
if
uldaught
eri
nlaw.
”She
comestohugme.
Me:“
howar
eyouma?
”
MaDl omo:“Iam awesome.”Igi
gglebecauset
hati
s
sounl i
keher.Theotherwi
vesalsocomeandwe
exchangegr eet
ingsandhugs.Theyl
eadmet oa
chairandIsitdown.

MaMol
efe:“
woul
dyoul
ikesomet
hingt
oeat
?”
Me:“noma,Iateafewmi nut
esagoandIam st
il
l
f
ull
.Aglassofwaterwil
lbefi
ne.
”Shepoursi
tand
t
henhandsittome.“Thankyou.
”
Elderwoman1:“
sowhatisitt
hatyoudomakoti
?”I
takeasipoft
hewat
erfi
rstbef
oreIcananswer
.
Me:“
Iam anar
chi
tectandengi
neer
.”
Elderwoman2:“ areyoureadyt
oquital
lthat
becausebeingar oyalwi
femeansyouhavetobea
housewif
e.”Ichuckle.
Elderwoman3:“ yes.Yourdut
yistoconceiveand
nurtur
eyourchil
dren,obeyandtakecareofyour
husband’sneeds.Sohowar eyougoingtodot hat
whileyouarean‘archit
ectandengi
neer’
?”sheuses
theairquot
es.

Me:“ IhopeIwon’tcomeoffasdefensi
vebutIlove
myj obandmycompany.Myhusbandknowsand
under st
andsthat
.SoIam pret
tysurehewon’tbe
expect i
ngmet oj
ustqui
tit
.”Theyl
augh,thewives
arejustquiet
.
El
derwoman1:“t
heworl
dwon’tcometoanend
whenyouqui
tyourj
ob.
”Sher
ollshereyes.

Me:“
wit
hal
lduer
espectma,
Ihavemor
ethana
hundredempl oyeesandt hisyeartheyaregoi
ngto
beincreasi
ng.Idon’ ttr
ustanyonewi t
hmy
companysoIcan’ tjusthanditovertosomeoneor
quit
.Thisisnotasmal lcompany.Thisisalarge,
soontobegl obalcompany.Youdon’ tqui
t
somethingli
ket hat.It
’speopl
e’sli
vesatstakema.”
El
derwoman3:“
wear
enotf
ight
ingwi
thyoumakot
i,
wearej
ust
…”

Me:“ youdon’tunderstandthemeaningofyour
wordsbomama.Iam notanempl oyee,rat
heran
empl oyer
.Iam ver yi
mpor t
anttomosthouseholds
becauseIhel pthebreadwinnersbri
ngfoodtothe
tabl
e.Nexttimewhenyouwannat alkaboutme
quit
tingmyj ob,resear
chaboutmycompany.Ibui lt
i
t,it
’smyownl egacy.Youdon’tqui
tyourlegacy.
”

MaDubazane:“IwishIwasasconfidentasyou
whenIfi
rstcameher ekot
i.
”Ismil
eandl ookdown.
Kuhl
eenterstheloungeandgreet
sthewomen.
Kuhle:“
canIhavemywifenow?”hi
smother
slaugh
athim.Hedoesn’
tevenwai
tfort
hem t
oanswer.He
helpsmestandupandweheadout.Whenwear eat
thecorr
idor
,hehugsmeandthenki
ssesme.“I
missedyou.”
Me:“
Imi
ssedyout
oo.
”

Kuhle:“
justaf
ewmi nutesnj
eofbondi
ngwi
thmy
wif
ei sal
lIam aski
ngfor.
”Igi
ggl
e.
Me:“
andyouar
egr
ant
edt
hat
.”hel
eadsmet
ohi
s
r
oom.

Kuhle:“Iam thefir
stpr
ince,soIcan’
thaveaf l
at
outsi
det hemai nhouseli
ket heot
hersbecauseI
shouldbet hereformyfatherincaseanythi
ng
happens.”Isitdownont heedgeoft hebedand
takeoffmyheel s.
Me:“whathappenswhenwegetmarr
ied?Youwi
ll
cont
inuel
ivi
nginthemainhouse?
”
Kuhle:“youarebuildi
ngourhouselove,
sowewi ll
l
ivethere.Wewi l
lonlycomeher et
ohavel unchor
whent hereareceremoniesorwhenwej ustwantto
visi
t.
”Hesi t
snextt omeandt akemyhandsi nhis.
Me:“thoseaunt
sdownstai
rssaidIshoul
d‘quit
’my
j
obbecausewhenwegetmar ri
ed,myjobisto
conceiveandnur
tur
eyourkidsandobeyyou.”he
l
aughs.

Kuhle:“youandqui tt
ingyourj ob?Babythat’
syour
fi
rstloveandchi ld.Iknowt hatIcomesecondandI
knowt hatourchi ldr
enwi l
lcomesecondbecause
that’
syourf i
rstborn.Youl oveDCCandyoul ove
archi
tectureandengi neeri
ng.Iknowt hat
,soIwon’ t
everexpectyout oleaveyourj oborsomethi
ng.
Yeah, sureIwi l
lexpectyout otakemater
nityl
eaves
andal lbutIwi l
lneverwi shf oryoutoqui
t.Infact
l
et’sstopt al
kingaboutt his.”Ismile.

Me:“
Iloveyou.
”Ireal
lydol
ovehim.Il
ovethefact
t
hatheunderst
andshowpassionat
eIam aboutmy
j
obandcompany.Thereisonethingt
hatheis
wrongaboutt
hough,i
sthefactt
hathethi
nksmy
companycomesfir
stbefor
ehim andourbabi
esbut
Iwon’
tcorr
ecthi
m.
Kuhl
e:“
Iloveyoumor
e.”Heki
ssesme.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
16] :CHAPTER68

*
**STHABI
LEGCABA*
**

Manypeopl
emayseemeasavi l
lai
noracruel
womanbutIam nei
theroft
hosethi
ngs.Kuhl
eloved
mesomuch.Wewentt ovar si
tytogether
.That’
s
whenourrel
ationshipstart
ed.Byt henIwasal r
eady
dat
ingGaryandIl ovedhim mor ethanIlovedKuhle.
WellIdi
dn’
tloveKuhl e,
justhismoneyandf ame.

WhenGar yf oundoutaboutmyr elat

ionshi
pwi t
h
Kuhl e,
hetol dmenott obreakupwi t
hhi m but
rathermakehi m ourwalki
ngATM.Thatseemedl i
ke
apl an,unt
ilKuhle’sfat
hersaidhemustt akeawi f
e.
That ’
swhenZwel iwasconcei ved.GarysaidifIf
all
pregnant,thereisnowayKuhl ewoul dn’
tmar r
yme
andt hatwillsecureourwellbeingfortherestofour
l
ives.

Ofcour seGar yistheonewhoi mpregnatedmebutI

pinnedt hepregnancyonKuhl eandIpr ayedevery
daythatt hechilddoesn’tcomeoutl ookingli
ke
Gary.Wegotmar r
iedwithKuhl ewhileIwas
pregnantbecausehedi dn’twantroyalblood,
especiallyhi
schi l
d,tobebor noutofwedl ock.Gary
i
sanappdevel oper,
meani nghehasmoneybut
someti
meshi
sappssuckssohedoesn’
tgetpai
d
asoft
enasKuhl
e.

Aftermarryi
ngKuhle,Istart
edget t
ingthishuge
al
lowancewhi chIsentGar yhalfofiteverymonth.I
didn’
tevenlookforaj obbecauseKuhl e’sauntstol
d
met hatit
’smydutyt olookaftermyhusbandand
ki
dsandbecomeahousewi f
e.Iam al azypersonin
nature,
soIdidn’tmindbeingahousewi febecause
Kuhlepamper edmeandgavememor emoneyeach
chancehegot .

Hewoul dsurprisemewi thvacati

onticket
sandtel
l
met otakesomeofmyf ri
endswhichwer e
housewivesofr ichDurbanbusinessmen.Iwoul
d
takethem somet imesbutmostoft heti
meItook
Garywi t
h.IurgedKuhl enottoall
owabodyguardto
comewi thmet ovacat i
ons.Atfi
rsthewasagainst
theideabuthef inal
lyagreed.

Ist
olesomanyappi
deasf
rom Kuhl
etogi
vet
o
Garybutonl ythreeweresuccessful
.Somewer enot
i
ncompl eteandsomej ustneededKuhle’
s
perfect
ion.Heneversuspect edmeandIal ways
framedourmai dssothathewoul df
irethem,in
whichhedi d.IthoughtIgotawaywi t
heverythi
ng
thatIhaddonebutIguessIcoul dneveroutsmart
theroyalfreaksforet
ernity.

Mysi sterbar
gesi
nmyr oom dri
nki
ngcoff
ee.She
hasanewspaperi nherhand.Shesi
tsonthe
dressingtabl
eandstar
tsreadi
ng.

Sthandi
we:“I
TWASAJOYOUSOCCASI ONATTHE
ZULUPALACEWHENTHEFI ANCEOFTHEFI RST
PRINCEBROUGHTI NGQOBAMASONDOTHI SPAST
WEEKEND.THEBEAUTI FULSELF-
MADE
MILLIONAI
RE, MISSCELE,WHOISPRINCE
KUHLE’SFIANCEBROUGHTGROCERI ESAND
GIFTSTOHERI N-
LAWSTHI SWEEKEND.”

Me:“
beaut
if
ulmyf
oot
.Kuhl
eisj
ustunbel
ievabl
e.
Manyjournal
ist
shavebeencal
li
ngmet
hismor
ning.
IguessnowIknowwhy.”
Sthandi
we:“heeventol
dhisPAt orel
easea
stat
ementaboutyourdivor
cebecausepeoplekept
call
ingt
hefatwomanhi ssecondwifeandseems
l
ikehedidn’
tli
kethat
.”

Me:“
let
’sgoout
.Ij
ustwannacl
earmyhead.
”
Sthandiwe:“whi
chcl
ub?Becausepeopl
ewillsee
youandwi thinmoment
sjour
nali
stswil
lbe
surroundi
ngyou.”
Me:“Istil
lhaveafewrandsi
nmyaccount.Let
’sgo
tothatrest
aurantwher
ethephonesar
elef
tatthe
door.”Shesmiles.
St
handi
we:“
yassbabes.
”sheheadout
.

Istandupandt hengofreshenup.Igetdressedina
blackoffshoul
derlant
ernsleevecr
opt op,hi
gh
waistjeansandnudepatentanklest
rapheels.Iput
onmake- upandthenputonmy20”br ownPer uvi
an
weave.It
akeafewmi rr
orself
iesandpostt
hem on
thegram.Peopl
eshouldn’
tthi
nkforasecondthatI
am downandoutjustbecauseKuhlel
eftmefora
fatwoman.

Garyismadatmebecauseoft hefullcustodyKuhl
e
hasovert hechildren.HeisangrythatItradedmy
reputat
ionf ormychi l
dren.Buthedoesn’t
understand.It’
sbet t
erifKuhl
eisseenasa
heartl
essper sonf orl
eavinghi
sperfectwi f
efora
fatbimbor atherthanpeopleknowingaboutmy
i
nf i
deli
ty.

Itakemybagandcarkeysandheadt othekit
chen.
Itakewinefrom thefr
idgeanddrinki
tfrom t
he
bottl
e.Mysistercomest ot
hekitchenandtakesit
awayf r
om me.Sheal sodri
nksitandthenputit
backtothef r
idge.Sheisweari
ngblackshortfl
ared
dresswithanopenbackandnudehar perstr
appy
heel-
neutral
.
Sthandi
we:“
let
’sgogetdr
unk.
”Il
aughandwehead
out.
.
.
Wegettother
estaur
antandor derabott
leofvodka.
Ouri
ntent
ioni
stogetdrunk,notdine,
sowesi tat
t
hebar.Wedoaf ewshots.Fewmoment slatera
wai
tercomestous.

Wait
er:“
goodeveni
ng.MissMthi
yaneisaski
ngt
hat
youj
oinherandherfr
iendont
heVIPlounge.
”I
fr
own.
Me:“di
dshesaywhy?Andwhoi
sthi
sMi
ss
Mthi
yane?
”
Wai
ter
:“t
heowneroft
hisestabli
shmentandoneof
t
heri
chestwomaninDurban.”

Sthandiwe:“l
eadthewayhoney. ”Shesaysalready
standingupandtakingthebott
le.Ilaughandtake
theglasses.Thewaitergoesupthest ai
rsandwe
f
oll
owhi
m.Wegett
othepr
ivat
ear
ea.

Wai
ter
:“MissMthiyane,t
heyar
ehere.”het
urnsand
t
henheadsout.ThisMissMthi
yaneisseat
edwitha
whi
tewoman.
MissMt hi
yane:“pl
easesit.
”Wesitdownandplace
ourthi
ngsont hetabl
e.“Iam Nqobi
leMthi
yaneand
thi
sismyf ri
endDonnaMagnes. ”
Me:“Ibel
ieveyoual
readyknowwhoIam seei
ng
t
hatyouinvit
edmeher e.
”shesmi
lesandnods.
“
Thisismysi st
erSt
handiwe.
”

Nqobi
le:“
nicet
oknowyouSthandi
we.Letmecutt
o
t
hechase.Ibel
ievewehaveacommonenemy.”I
f
rown.
Donna:“thefamousNtombifuthiCele.Shehas
humi l
iat
edyouandont opofthat,stol
eyourman.
Sheshoul dbepuni
shed.Shecan’ tgetawaywith
everyt
hingand…”shetakesoutpicturesandhands
them tome,“soonyourchi
ldrenwi l
lbecall
ingher
mommy. ”Iviewthepict
uresandit’
sthatf
atbimbo
l
aughingwithZweliandAmahle.Theyseem tobe
havi
ngagr eatti
me.Theyarelaughingandthey
seem car
efree.

Sthandiwe:“l
etmesee. ”Shetakesthepictures.
Wowt hedi sr
espect.Kuhlei
sbusyi nt
roducing
bimbost omyki ds.Iam somadathi m andangr yat
thefactthatthebimboisbongingwi t
hmyki ds.
“Thi
sismadness.Kuhl eiswrongfordoingthis.
”

Donna:“shei
swar mingherwayint
oyourchi
ldr
en’s
heart
.Sheisthecommonenemywehave.Wi thher
outoftheway,youcangobacktobeingthef
uture
queenandthewor l
dwillbeabet
terpl
ace.
”
Me:“
heroutoft
heway?Whatdoyoumean?
”

Nqobile:“
eliminat
eher.Sheisabigcompet i
ti
on
thatIcan’thave.Whatbett
erwayt ogetri
dofthe
compet i
ti
ont hansil
enci
ngitforgood?”
St
handi
we:“
don’
tyout
hinkt
hat
’sext
reme?
”
Donna:“hel
eftyouforafatunatt r
acti
vewoman.
Yougotnothi
ngf r
om yourdivorcesettlement.I
twill
onlybeafewmont hsbefor
eyougobr oke.You
won’tbeabl
etomai nt
ainyourlifestyl
e.Your
parent
s’moneyisnotenough, i
tbar el
ycansecur e
thei
rmonthl
ybill
s.”

Nqobil
e:“wekil
lher,
Kuhlebecomesvulner
abl
e.
Youcomf or
thimintimesofneedandsoonerrat
her
thanl
ateryourst
atuswil
lberest
oredandyouwill
besecuredonceagain.
”
Donna:“thinkaboutitbutdon’ttakelongbecause
thi
sofferwon’ tbei
nt hetablefortoolong.
”This
off
eri
st empt i
ngbuti fKuhlefi
ndsoutIam i nvol
ved,
hewil
lsur elykil
lme.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
16] :BONUSCHAPTER
CHAPTER69

*
**STHABI
LEGCABA*
**
“Howt hemightyhavefal
len.Lookatyounow.Not
l
ongagoyouwer eontopoft heworld,l
ooki
ngdown
uponus.Lookatyounow, youaredownandout.I
am prett
ysureyoucan’tevenaffor
da30”weave
now.”Mycousi nKhanyezasayssitt
ingdownonthe
couchoppositeme.Iam athomewat chi
ngTV.

Shehasalwaysbeenastraightt
alkerwi
thnofil
ter
.I
thi
nkherhatef
ormest ar
tedwhenIst ar
teddati
ng
withKuhl
e.Sheini
ti
all
yhadacr ushonhim buthe
chosemeandt hatmadeherveryangry.Thi
sone
ti
mesheaskedmef ormoney.Ididn’
tgi
veitt
oher
becausethewaysheaskedf
ori
t,wasl
ikeshewas
enti
tl
ed.

Me:“
ifyouhavenothi
ngbet
tert
osay,
thenshutt
he
f
uckupKhanyeza.”Shel
aughsmocki
ngly.
Khanyeza:“babeshelef
tyou.Helit
erall
yleftyoufor
ahippo.”Shelaughsmore.“
Thisisjustgreat.To
topitof
f,hetookawayyourkids.Yourchildrenare
goingtohaveast epmot
herwhileyou’r
estillal
ive.
Shame.”

Me:“i
fyou’
reher
etomockmet
henIsuggestyou
l
eave.
”
Khanyeza:“youareusedt
oissui
ngor dersbecause
youwereapr incessf
orafewyears.Youar enow
backtobeingacommonerj ustl
iketherestofus.
”
Me:“
you’
rej
ustbi
tt
ert
hathemar
ri
edmenotyou.
”

Khanyeza:“
andwher
ear eyounow?Backt
o
pover
ty.Soonyouwi
llbegoingf
orj
obhunti
ng
whichissomet hingyouhaveneverdonebef or
e.
Goodl uckwiththat.
”shelaughsagainandstands
up.“Letmemakemysel fsomet hi
ngtoeat.Iwonder
i
fyoust il
lknowhowt ocookMi ss‘
Pri
vateChef’
.”
Shelaughsoncemor eandt henheadstothe
ki
tchen.

IwishIcanj ustchopoffherhead.Suddenl y
Nqobile’
sideadoesn’tseem li
keabadt hing.Iam
prett
ysureKhanyezai snottheonlyonewhoi s
mockingandgossi pi
ngaboutme.Atl eastsheis
braveenought otel
litt
omyf ace.Ifthathippoisout
oftheway, Kuhlewil
lcomer unningtomyar ms.
Thisplansuddenlyseem sogr eat.
.
.
Me:“IknowwhatIwilldo.
”IsaytoSthandi
wewho
i
sbrushingherweaveinfrontofmydressi
ngt
abl
e.
St
handi
we:“
wel
lspi
ll
.”
Me:“
Iam i
n.Iwantt
hatf
atgi
rldead.Iam goi
ngt
o
hel
pNqobi
leandDonnai
nthi
s.”

St
handi
we:“
whatmadeyoudeci
desoqui
ckl
y?”
Me:“seemsli
keat al
kf r
om KhanyezaisallIneeded.
Shemademer eal
izethatIam notf
orthatli
fe.I
can’
tbepoor,downandout .Ineedtogobackt omy
pri
nceandtheonlywayt odothatisift
hebi g
mamai sdead.”Shelaughs.

Sthandiwe:“
bigmamaoe?ButIam withyouonthe
ki
lli
ng.ImeanIam nolongerget
ti
nganall
owance
fr
om youandIr eal
l
yneedit.Whenar
ewegoingto
meetthem? ”
Me:“Ihavealr
eadysentat
extt
oNqobi
leandshe
saidIshoul
dcomet hr
oughtot
hecl
ubthi
s
eveni
ng.”

Sthandi
we:“
Iam comi
ngwi
thyou.Thehi
ppoi
s
goingdown.
”Il
augh.
Me:“
weshoul
ddef
ini
tel
yhaveami
nicel
ebr
ati
on
af
terherdeat
h.”
St
handi
we:“
YAY!
”
.
.
Wegetdressedandthendr i
vetothecl
ub.Whenwe
gett
here,wejustgot
ot heloungewherewemet
Nqobil
eandDonnaat ,t
helastti
mewewer eher
e.A
wait
ertel
lsustomakeour sel
vescomfort
abl
ewhil
e
hegoestocallNqobi
lewhoi satherof
fi
ce.Wesit
downandsi ponsomewhi tewine.

St
handi
we:“
per
fect
.”Ismi
le.
Me:“
missi
ngt
heni
cel
if
eri
ghtnow.
”Shechuckl
es.
Sthandiwe:“
it
’sonl
yamat terofti
mebef oreyouget
i
tback.”Inod.Nqobil
eandDonnamaket hei
rway
totheloungeandsitopposit
eus.Weexchange
greet
ingsandthewaiterbri
ngstheirdr
inks.

Donna:“
sowhatmadeyoucomet
oyourdeci
sion
soear
ly?
”
Me:“youwereri
ghtaboutever
ythi
ngandIam not
abouttol
etadisgust
ingoil
ybi
tchtakemyfamil
y
awayfrom Me.
”theysmile.
Donna:“
that
’st
hespi
ri
t.
”

Nqobi
le:“
sowhatdoyouhavei
nmi
nd?
”
Sthandi
we:“Iwasthi
nkingmaybewekidnapher
andthenki
llherandthendit
chherbodyi
nfrontof
theDCCbuildi
ng.”Wealll
augh.
Donna:“nothatwi
llbr
ingtoomuchat t
enti
onandif
theygetoneofthebestdetect
ivesonthecase,
somethingmightl
eadherbackt ous.
”

Nqobi l
e:“Isaywemakei tl
ooklikeanaccident,a
caraccidentreall
y.Herguar dswon’tbeableto
protectherifwejusthi
thercarwi t
hatruck.We
shouldalsomakesur et hatweknowwher esheis
seatedsot hatwewon’tmi ss.Temperwi t
ht he
brakesoft hetr
ucksot hatitwil
llookexact
lyli
kean
acci
dent
.”

Me:“
whowi
llbet
hedr
iver
?”
Donna:“
leavet
hatt
ome.Iwi
llsor
titout
.”
Sthandi
we:“seemsli
keyouguyshaveever
ythi
ng
undercont
rol.Whatdoyouneedf
rom us?”

Nqobile:“Iwanttokeepthepr i
ncedistract
edon
thatday.Don’ tst
artt
alki
ngtohim ont hedayoft he
accident.Ratherstar
tsoonsot hathewon’ tsuspect
anything.Justaskhimt oreconsi
derthecust odyof
thechildren.Youhavebeenmar r
iedforyears.You
knowhi sweaknessesandwhi chbuttonstopush. ”I
nod.

Me:“
Itot
all
ygetyou.
”
St
handi
we:“
sowhenar
ewedoi
ngt
his?
”
Donna:“
Assoonasshecomesbackf
rom Br
ookl
yn.
Shewon’tmakei
tdowntheai
sle.
”
Me:“
thi
sisper
fect
.”
Nqobil
e:“
weshouldtoast.
”Thewai
terbr
ings
champagneandglasses.Wepouri
tontheglasses
andrai
sethem.“
TOFUTHY’ SDOWNFALL!”
US:“
TOFUTHY’SDOWNFALL!
”weal
ltoastand
t
henwelaugh.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
17] :CHAPTER70

*
**FUTHY*
**
ItismythirddayinBr ookl
ynandt heseconddayof
theconference.Wear epresent
ingtodayandZah
seemsner vous.Wewi l
lbot
hbepr esent i
ng.WellI
am alsoal i
tt
lenervousbutIam conf identabout
ourpresentati
on.Ihavebeenpr eparingforthisday
sincefor
everandnowt hatit
’shere,Iam happy.

Thecompani eswhi chpr esentedyest

erdaywer e
j
ustperfectandIam pr et
tysur et
heygot
themselvescli
ents.Ther eareabout50+cl i
ent
s.Bi g
cli
entswhohaveagr oupofcompani esglobal
ly.IfI
cangetmysel fj
ustt hree,thenIwil
lbesetfora
l
ifet
ime.

Igetdressedinabl uesurpl
iceneckpuffsleeveself
-bel
tedspithem dresswithanudesol i
dbel t
edslant
pocketovercoatandnudeTumiankl estrapheel
s.I
am wearingthecoatbecauset heweatherisal i
tt
le
chil
l.Kuhlesaidmyobsessionwi thheelsmustst op
onceIam f ourmont hspr
egnantbecausehe
doesn’twantmet ri
ppingandf al
li
ng.Drama.
Zahi swear ingablackV- neckl
eopar dprintbelt
ed
dresswi thleopardprintRebeccaheelandbl ack
blazer.Xoliiswearingawhi tef
oldover
asymmet ri
calneckdobbymeshsl eevetop,navy
kneel engthpencilskirt
,navyblazerandwhi teSt eve
Maddendr essBr andi
ewhi tesi
degr andeheel s.We
packupever ythi
ngandt henheadt otheconf er
ence
Centre.

Wegett hereandsi tonourdesi gnatedseats.The

present
ationsstartandafteraf ewhour swegot o
l
unch.Whenwecomebackf rom lunch,meandZah
goandpr esent.Allthenervesar ether
ebutassoon
asIstartspeakingtimejustst opandIconnectwi t
h
mywor k.WhenIam doneIgi veZaht heplatf
orm
andshej ustspeakssopol it
elyandgr eat.Whenshe
i
sdone, weear nour sel
vesar oundofappl ause.

Whenthepr
esent
ati
onsfort
hedayaredone,
weall
headout
.Oneoft
hecli
entscomesourwaywitha
smil
eonherf ace.SheisMaureenSchil
laci
,the
hei
ressoftheSchill
aciGr
oup.Herfamil
yhast he
mostexpensivepri
vatehospi
tal
sglobal
ly.

Maureen:“
thatwasagr eatpr
esent
ati
onDCC.Iwi
sh
youallt
hebestforFr
iday.”
Me:“t
hankyouver
ymuch.
”Shesmil
esandheads
outf
oll
owedbyanumberofguar
ds.
Zah:“OMG!Wej ustrecei
vedacompli
mentf
rom
theeMadam Schil
laci.Whatagr
eatdayt
obeali
ve.
”
Wel aughheadi
ngout .

Xoli
:“i
fIdi
dn’
tknowbett
er,
I’
dsaywehaveheras
ournumberonecli
ent
.”
Zah:“
that’
sagreatpossi
bil
it
ybutlet’
snotcountour
eggsbefor
etheyhatch.
”Wegeti nsi
dethecarsand
dri
vetotheapar
tment.Wegett her
eandIscream
whenIseeKuhlecookinginthekit
chen.Ir
unand
j
umpi nt
ohisarms.Hegigglesandcatchesmei nt
o
hisar
ms.
Me:“you’reher
e.”hesmilesandpl
acesmeont he
counter.Icuphi
sfaceandkisshim.Hedeepens
theki
ssandwebr eaki
twhenwear ebothcontent
.I
l
ookar oundandIdon’tseeaboZah.Ij
ustlaugh.
Kuhl
e:“Imi
ssedyousomuch.Icoul
dn’
twai
tfor
Sunday.
”
Me:“
Ial
somi
ssedyou.
”

Kuhl
e:“howwasyourpresent
ati
on?”heaskswhi
le
hesneakshi
shandsinsi
demydr ess.
Me:“notherebaby.AnywaysIam hungr
y.Whatar
e
youcooking?”helaughs.

Kuhle:“i
twil
lber eadyinafewmi nut
es.Howabout
yougochangei nt osomethi
ngmor ecomf or
table?”
heaskseyeingmyheel sandIjustgi
ggle.Het akes
meof fthecounterandspanksmybut twhenIam
abouttoheadout .Ilookathi
m andhejustwi nks
whil
el i
cki
nghislips.
Me:“
per
ver
t.
”Hel
aughs.

Iheadtomyr oom andtakeaquickshower .It

’s
al
readylateandIknowIam notgoingoutf ordinner
oranythi
ngelsebecauseKuhleisher
e.Ij ustget
dressedinmylongsil
kypajamasandsl eepers.Igo
downstair
sandfindeveryoneonthediningroom.I
si
tnexttobaeandwest arteat
ing.

Kuhl
e:“
sohowwast
hepr
esent
ati
on?
”
Xol
i:“
theynai
ledi
t.Theyevenrecei
veda
compli
mentfr
om oneofthebiggestcl
ient
s.”
Kuhl
e:“
that
’sgr
eat
.”Hesayssmil
ingandl
ooki
ngat
me.Ij
ustbl
ushandcont
inueeat
ing.

Zamoh:“
lookatt
hebossbl
ushi
ngl
ikeat
eenager
.”
Me:“owwshutupZamokuhl e.
”Theyal
llaughatme
whil
eZamohst i
ckshist
ongueoutchil
dishl
y.“You
wi
llneverhaveachi
ldwhil
eyou’r
ethi
schi l
dish.
”
Zamoh:“Iam st
il
lyoung.Isti
llwannaplaywi
th
peopl
e’
sdaughtersbeforesettl
ingdown.”

But
ho:“
andt
heywi
llpl
ayyour
s10t
imes.
”
Zamoh:“
broIownguns.Boyswil
lhavet
othink
l
ongandhardbef
orecomingnearmygir
ls.
”
Thobeka:“
Icanalreadyseeyouhavi
ngaminihoe
femal
eversionofyoursel
f.
”Wealll
augh.

Zamoh:“
Thobeka!
”
Thobeka:“Zamokuhle!
”shesayswhilestandi
ngup
andrunningout.Zamohrunsafterherandwej ust
l
aughatt hem.
.
.
Kuhle:“nowthatyouhavepr
esent
ed,
Iam sureyou
ar
el essstr
essed.”Wearei
nmybedroom andheis
gi
vingmeamassage.
Me:“
youwantust
otal
kaboutourcer
emoni
es?
”
Kuhle:“
yesbaby.Weneedt ohaveumkhehl oand
umembesowhi chIsuggestmustbedoneont he
sameday.Thent hewhit
eandt r
adit
ionalwedding.
Aft
erthatwemusthaveacor onati
ondaywher eyou
wil
lbecrownedast hepri
ncessandf ut
urequeen.”

Me:“
Ineedtohaveawholecer
emonydedi
cat
edt
o
mycrowni
ng?”hechuckl
es.
Kuhle:“
yeslove.Butdon’
twor
ry,
wewillhaveit
aft
eryougivebirt
h.Thepeopl
emustknowt hei
r
fut
urequeen.”
Me:“ okay.Iam gl
aditwi
llbeaf
tergivi
ngbirt
h.I
can’thavemor eevent
swhereIwillbelooki
ngli
kea
hippo.”Helaughs.

Kuhle:“
babeyouwillneverl
ooklikeahippo.You
areperf
ectandsexy.Rightnowyourmoansar e
tur
ningmeon.Feel me.”hetakesmyhandand
makesmet ouchhiserecti
on.Igi
ggleandturntosi
t
ontopofhi
m.Istar
tki
ssingandbi
ti
nghi
sneck.Hi
s
br
eathi
ngchangesandIchuckl
e.
.
.
Iwakeupt hef
oll
owingdayt
oat hrobbingheadache.
Iscr
eam andplacemyhandonmyf orehead.WowI
am burni
ngup.Someoneshakesme.Iopenmy
eyestoseeKuhlehelpi
ngmesitup.Hehasa
worri
edlookonhisface.

Kuhl
e:“
what
’swr
ongbaby?
”
Me:“Iam f
eel
ingsick.
”Myt hr
oati
ssodr
y.“
It
’sl
i
ke
Ihaveahangoverplusfl
u.”
Kuhl
e:“
let
’sgoshowersothatIcant
akeyout
othe
doct
orandthi
sisnotarequest
.”

Hepicksmeupandwal kst othebathroom.We

showerandIgetdressedi ntr
acksuitsandsneaker
s.
Healsogetsdr
essedi nal ongsleevedt-shi
rt
,
sweatpant
sandsneaker s.Hemakest hebedand
weheadtot
heki
tchenwher
ewef
indever
yone
eat
ing.

Kuhle:“
ZahandXoliyouguyswil
lhavetoatt
end
theconfer
enceonFuthy’
sbehal
f.Sheissi
cksoI
am taki
nghertot
hedoctor.
”
Zah:“
what
’swr
ongboss?
”
Kuhl
e:“
wewi
llknowwhenwecomeback.
”

Hepullsmeout sideandwecl i
mbi nt
ot hecar.The
dri
verdrivesoff.Fewmi nutesl
aterwepul lupina
surger
y.Wegeti nsideandhegoesst r
ai ghtt
ot he
consul
tingroom.Wegoi nsi
detheroom andf indan
Afr
icanAmer icanwomanwhoi swearingawhi t
e
doctor
’scoat.Shesmi l
eswhensheseesus.

Doct
or:“
brot
herf
rom anot
hermot
her
.”Shecomes
t
ohughim.
Kuhl
e:“
howar
eyoul
it
tl
esi
s?”
Doctor:“li
fei
sgood.Andthismustbethefamous
Futhy.
”Shesayshuggi ngme.Shehasal i
tt
lebitof
anAf r
icanaccentbutshetal
ksli
keAmericans.
Seemsl ikeshehasbeenhereforqui
tesomet i
me.

Kuhle:“wearest
il
lgoingtocomet oyourhousefor
dinner.Ri
ghtnowIneedyout ocheckher.Sheis
feel
ingsickandsheispregnantsoIam worri
ed.
”
Doct
or:“
tel
lmehowyou’
ref
eel
ingr
ightnow.
”

Itel
lherandthensheinjectsmewi t
haninj
ection.
Shethenchecksont hebabi es.Theyar
eperfectl
y
healt
hy.Whenshei sdone, shegivesmesome
meds.Wet al
kal i
tt
leandt henweheadout .Iyawn
andKuhlelooksatme.

Kuhl
e:“
you’
ref
eel
ingdr
owsy?
”Inod.
Me:“
Ithi
nki
t’
sthemedi
cat
ion.
”
Kuhl
e:“
let
’seatf
ir
standt
henwewi
llgor
est
.”Inod
agai
nandyawn.
Wegotoar estaur
antwher
eweeatourbr
eakfast
.
WethenheadhomeandIsl eepi
mmediat
elywhen
myheadhit
st hepil
low.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
17] :CHAPTER71

TodayisSat urdayandwear epr epari

ngtogot othe
l
astdayoft heconf erencewher etheywi l
lbe
announcingt henumberofcl i
entseachper songot.
It
’saformaldi nnersowear ealldressi
ngup.Iam
weari
ngal i
ghtpi nkA- l
ineformal dresswithGeorge
whit
ef auxsnakepr intdiamantechai nblockheel
s.I
putonanashbl ondebobweave.
Kuhleisalsoaccompanyingme.Hei sweari
nga
darkgreytuxedoandagr eytur
tl
eneckwithbl
ack
l
oafers.Helooksreall
yhandsome.Wedi dgoto
vi
sitthedoctoratherhome.Turnsoutsheishi
s
cousin.HermotherisMaDlomo’ssist
er.Shei
s
marri
edandhas1beaut i
fuldaught
er.

Kuhle:“webettergetgoi
nglove.
”heki
ssesmy
cheek.Ilookathim andsmil
e.Howluckyam Ito
deservesuchagr eatpar
tner?Myancest
orssure
didwor kover
timehere.“
Whyar eyousmil
ingli
kean
i
diot?”Igiggl
e.

Me:“
not
hing.Youar
ejusthandsome.
”Hechuckl
es.
Kuhl
e:“Iknowr
ight.Fora35yearol
d,Isur
elook
goodneh?”hewiggleshi
seyebr
owsandIjust
l
augh.
Me:“
you’
resool
d.”Her
oll
shi
seyes.
Kuhl
e:“
wear
eonl
yfi
veyear
sapar
t.What
’sol
d
t
her
e?”

Me:“ whatever.
”Itakemybagandheadout .He
foll
owsme.Wecl imbi nsidethecarsandwedr i
ve
totheconf er
encecent re.Wegetthereandwear e
usheredtoourt able.Wesi tdownandi mmediat
ely
theybringchampagnet oourt abl
e.Kuhlest
opsone
ofthewai t
erswhenshei sabouttoleave.
Kuhl
e:“
canyoupleasebri
ngusabot
tl
eofnon-
al
cohol
icchampagne?”
Wai
ter
:“comi
ngr
ightupsi
r.
”Shel
eaves.

Zah:“
whoi
sitf
or?
”
Me:“me.YouknowhowIhatechampagnesoI
pr
efert
henon-al
cohol
icone.
”Shel
aughed.
Zah:“t
hat’sarel
ief
.Ithoughtyouwer
esi
ckor
something.”MabuthoandZamohshareagl
ance
andtheychuckle.Ithi
nktheyknow.
Thepr esenterst
art
stal
king.Shethanksdi
ff
erent
compani esandsponsorsforpart
ici
pati
nginthi
s
conference.Shethenst
ar t
sannouncinghowmany
cl
ientseachcompanygot .

Present
er:“
thenextcompanyisDCC.Ican’t
pronouncetheDnamebutt heCEOisMi ssCele.
”I
l
aughbecauseshei spronounci
ngCelel
ikecell.
“Wellt
heygotthemselves19cli
ent
s.”If
reezewhen
shestart
sment i
oni
ngt henamesofthecli
ents.

Me:“
whatt
hef
uck?
”
Zah:“
whati
ntheact
ualf
uck?
”
Kuhle:“
congr
atsl
ove.Youdi
dit
.”Heki
ssesmy
cheek.

Me:“
wow.
”
Xoli
:“t
hisishuge.”Thepresent
ercal
lst
he
repr
esentati
vesandZahandXol igotot
hefr
ont
.I
am sti
llshocked.Ican’
tevenmove.
.
.
Wear enowdrivi
ngbacktotheapart
ment.Af
tert
he
wholeceremony,t
heyservedgr
eatfoodanddri
nks.
It
’snow11pm.Wegett otheapart
mentandIrush
tomyr oom.IopenmylaptopandSkypemy
parent
s.Iknowtheyaremaybesti
llsl
eepi
ngor
something.Mom i
stheonewhoanswer s.

Mom:“babywhat’
sup?”tear
sstart
sr ol
li
ngdown
mycheeksandIcan’
tseem tocontrolt
hem.She
l
ooksatmewithaworri
edexpression.“Whyare
youcr
yingLwandl
ewam? ”dadrushest othescr
een.
Dad:“
what’
swrongmypr
incess?
”Ishakemyhead
andwipemytear
s.

Me:“not
hing.Iam justsohappythatmydr eams
arecomingtrue.GuysIgot19internat
ionalbi
g
cli
ent
s.Iam justsoexcit
ed,Idon’
tevenknowhow
toexpr
essmyj oy.Idon’
tknowifIshouldprayin
tonguesorj
uststandi
nthehi
ghestmount
ainand
shoutIdi
dit.
”Mom start
scr
yinganddadst
art
s
reci
ti
ngCeleclannames.

Dad:“
thi
sisbi
g.I
tdeservesacer
emony.Iam so
pr
oudofyouandIcan’twaitt
ogi
veyouabighug.”
Mom:“ youdiditLwandlewami .Youhavepr oved
yourselfandt otheworl
dthatthereisnothingyou
can’tdoi fyouputyourmindtoi t
.Ifeell
ike
braggingr i
ghtnow.Ifeell
ikegoingtoGat ewayand
standatt heheartofthemallandshout‘ My
daught ermadei t’
.Il
oveyousomuch. ”

Me:“Iloveyoutooguys.Pl
easepr
eparemyfavor
it
e
becauseassoonasIl andatKi
ngShaka,
Iam
cominghome. ”
Dad:“
can’twaitt
oseeyoust
handwaSami
.”Ihang
upandclosethelapt
op.

Kuhl
e:“
Ithi
nkIam t
hel
ucki
estmani
nthewor
ldt
o
havesuchanamazingfiancé.”It
urntoseehim
l
eaningonthedoor
.Hehast akenoffhi
scoatand
shoes.Ismi
leandstandup.
Me:“
yousurearedamnluckymyki
ng.Youbet
ter
r
ememberthatal
ways.
”
Kuhl
e:“
didIt
ellyouhowmuchIam pr
oudofyou?
”I
gi
ggl
e.

Me:“ pr
obably10timesthiseveni
ngbutIdon’
tmind
heari
ngi tagai
n.”Helaughsandcomest ome.He
standsbehindmeandunzi psmydr ess.
Kuhl
e:“
howaboutwecel
ebrat
eyourvict
oryi
nthe
Fuhl
eway?
”Ilaughandt
urntolookathi
m.
Me:“
whatt
hef
ucki
sFuhl
e?”

Kuhl
e:“
babyFuhleisFuthypl
usKuhl
e.Ihear
done
ofmysibl
ingssayi
ngit
.”Il
aughagai
nandunhook
mybra.
Me:“
itsoundschi
ldi
sh.
”Hechuckl
es.
Kuhle:“
itdoes.Butwhocares?
”heplaceshis
handsonmywai standbr
ingsmeclosertohim.“
I
l
oveyou. ”Ismil
e.
Me:“
Iloveyou.
”
.
.
Wel andatKi ngShakaanddr i
vetomypar ents’
house.IlaughwhenIseeLel e’scaronthedriveway.
NomaandLeear ealsohere.Iguessthefolks
call
edeveryone.Wecl i
mbof fthecarsandgoi nsi
de.
Kuhleisalittl
escaredofmydadbutt hat’
showi tis
supposedt obe.Husbandsshoul dbescaredof
thei
rfather-
in-l
aws.Theymustbei nt
imidatedand
Ndosiomkhul ui
sver yi
nti
mi dati
ng.Wegett othe
l
oungeandf indeveryonethere.

Lee:“
thebil
li
onair
eisinthehouse.”Sher
ushesto
hugme.“PleasebuymeaRoycef ormybirt
hday
thi
syear.
”Weal ll
augh.Nomaalsocomest ohug
me.

Noma:“ sbwlavacat i
ontoapr ivat
eislandchomi.”I
l
aughather .Everyonetaket urnshuggi ngme.We
thenmovet ot hedi
ningroom.Wesi tdownand
everyonedishesforthemselves.Thesmel lofusuis
soinviti
ng.“Yournewf oundl oveforusui sso
questionabl
ebutIam goi ngt oholdof fmylawyer
ass.”KuhlelaughsandIj ustrollmyeyes.

Lel
e:“
soyougot19cl
ient
ssisi
?That’shuge.
Meani
ngyouwil
lhavetohaveoff
icesallover
now?”
Me:“yes.Anexpansi
onthatIhavebeenwai
ti
ngf
or
butIam goi
ngtostar
teveryt
hingaft
ermy
coronat
ion.
”
Lee:“
cor
onat
ion?
”Ichuckl
e.

Me:“haveyouf
orgot
tenthatIam marr
yingafutur
e
ki
ng?SoImustbeordainedasacr ownedpri
ncess.
Iti
sgoi ngtobeasepar at
eceremonyt
hatwil
lbe
doneaf terIgi
vebirt
h.Orear
li
erift
heancest
ors
don’tl
ikewai t
ing.
”
Noma:“thesnakeancestori
sdefini
tel
ygoi
ngto
rushthi
ngs.
”Weal l
laugh.“Kuhl
ehowdoyouf eel
aboutal
lofthi
s?”hesmilesandlooksatme.

Kuhle:“happy.Sheisgoingtoshowever
yonethat
beingar oyalwif
edoesn’tmeanyoushouldj
ust
rel
axandbeahousewi fe.I
tisnotadeat
hsentence.
Youst i
llhavetheoppor
tunit
ytochaseyour
dreams. ”
Dad:“
Iam st
art
ingt
oli
keyou.
”weal
llaugh.

Xol
i:“
Futhyyouaresuchaninspi
rati
on.Reachi
ng
30andhavingreachedmostofyourgoal
s,youare
j
ustablackBil
lGateint
hemaking.”Il
aughshaking
myhead.
Me:“Imaynotr
eachhi
slevelbutIsur
eam t
heCel
e
Bi
llGat
es.
”
Lel
e:“
thel
eveloff
lexandt
hepr
essur
esi
si.
”Weal
l
l
augh.

Gcino:“
lookwhoi stal
king.I
magineme.The
pressur
eistoomuchf orme.Atl eastyouare
famous.Ifeell
ikedadhasext r
aordinar
yspermst
o
producesuchkids.”
Mom:“Gci
nodon’
tpr
ovokeyourfather
.Iwon’
t
meddl
ewhenhechoosestobeatyourass.
”

Gci
no:“
mybrotheri
nlawwi
llshi
eldme.”Kuhl
e
cl
ear
shist
hroatandweal
ljustl
augh.
Dad:“
Ithoughtso.Sowheni
sumkhehl
o?”
Kuhl
e:“
mont
hend.
”

Me:“
yoh,
speed.Youwi
llcr
ash.
”Hel
aughs.
Kuhle:“
Idi
dtellyout
hatIwil
lwi
feyouonGood
Fri
daywhichisintwomonthsori
namonth.SoI
don’
thaveti
met owaste.
”
Mom:“
theweddi
ngi
sonGoodFr
iday?
”

Kuhle:“
yesma.Iam nott
ryi
ngtocompet
ewi
th
Jesusorsomethi
ng.
”Mom laughs.
Mom:“ don’tworr
yaboutthatson.Wedon’ tatt
end
theEasterservi
ceinthi
shouseholdbecausemost
oftheti
meBusii swithherinl
aws, i
t’
soneoft he
fewtimeswher eFuthyisavai
labl
esoshet ravel
s
withherfri
ends,Lel
ealwayshasmul ti
plegigson
thatweekend.Sonjeit’
snotspecial
.”

Gcino:“
theni
t’
ssettled.Si
yatshadisangoGood.”He
standsupandstartssingi
nganddanci ng.Lel
e
standsupandjoinshim.Ijustlaughshakingmy
head.Zahist
akingavi deooftheirmadness.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
17] :CHAPTER72

‘
Khokhoi ssit
ti
ngonar ocknearaflowi
ngri
ver.Igo
towhereshei sandsitnextt
oher.Shei
sthrowing
stonesintheri
ver.Ial
sofoll
owsuit
.IwonderwhyI
am here.

Me:“
what
’supt
hist
imear
ound?
”
Khokho:“youhavebeenwarned.Unfort
unat
ely
ther
eisnothingwecandot opreventt
hedanger
ahead.Justl
earntofor
giveandmoveonaf t
erit
.”

Me:“whati
sgoi ngt
ohappenkhokho?Am Igoi ngto
l
osemybabi es?Am Igoi
ngtoloseKuhle?”she
cl
earshert
hroat.Amansurfacesfrom t
heriver
wit
hthesnakeIsawatKuhle’saroundhisneck.I
st
andupandgetr
eadyt
orun.Hechuckl
es.

Man:“i
twon’
tdoanyt
hingt
oyou.Icamet
o
apol
ogi
ze.
”
Me:“
whoar
eyou?
”
Man:“
Iam Kuhl
ekonke’
sgr
eatgr
andf
ather
.”
Me:“
whatar
eyouapol
ogi
zingf
or?
”

Formerking:“
fornotbeingablet
opreventt
he
dangeraheadandf ornotgi
vingacl
earwarningi
n
ti
me.”Ifr
own.
Me:“
am Igoi
ngt
oloseanyonecloset
ome?”he
l
ooksatmeandt
hesnakealsolooksatme.

For
merking:“al
if
eforali
feandroyal
tyl
ooksaf
ter
i
tsown.
”Het hengoesbacktotheri
ver
.
Khokho:“
ali
fef
oral
if
e.”Il
ookather
.’
Iwakeupgaspi ngf orai
randmyhear tbeati
ngvery
fast.I
st hereanyonewhocanpr ovidesomecl ar
it
y
ont hi
sbecauseIam ver ylost
?IlookatKuhl ewho
i
ssl eepingpeacefullynexttome.It akehisphone
andseet hatt
het i
mei s5am.Suddenl yIknowwho
tocall.Icli
mbof fthebedandgot ot hebalcony.I
unlockKuhl e’
sphoneanddi alMaShezi ’snumber.
Sheanswer saft
eraf ewr i
ngs.

MaShezi:“
Nkosana.Whyar eyoucal
li
nginthi
shour
?
Isever
ythi
ngokay?”Ihearsomeshuffl
ingi
nthe
backgr
ound.
Ki
ng:“i
severythi
ngokaybambolwami?”Ihear
Kuhl
e’
sf at
her.Iwoul
dblushi
fIwasn’
tsti
llshocked
bymydream.

Me:“
mamai
t’
sme,
Fut
hy.
”
MaShezi
:“makot
iisever
ythi
ngokay?”nowher
voi
ceisst
ernandconcerncannotbedeni
edfr
om i
t.
Me:“
Idon’
tknowma.Ij
usthadaver
yconf
usi
ng
andsaddr
eam.
”

MaShezi
:“whatdi
dyousee?
”
Me:“mygreatgr
andmother
.Sheusual
lyvi
sit
sme
i
nmydr eamstowar nmebutt
histi
meshewasn’
t
al
one.Shewaswi t
hthel
ateki
ng.”
King:“
whatdi
dhesay?
”IguessIam i
nloud
speaker.

Me:“theybothsaidthatt
hedangeraheadcannot
beprevented.Butt
hekingsaidr
oyalt
yalwayslooks
af
teritsown.”Theybothkeepqui
et.Aft
erawhile
MaShezitalks.
MaShezi:“t
hisisclearl
yanattackonyoubutthey
wi
llbot
hbepr otect
ingyou.Sowhoeverthatwi
llbe
wi
thyout hattimewi l
lsuf
fert
heconsequences.
”

Me:“
that
’swhatKhokhomeantwhenshesai
dal
if
e
f
orali
fe?
”
MaShezi:“
thisisaver
ydif
fi
cul
tsi
tuat
ionbecause
t
heyarejustquiet
.Theyar
enotsayi
nganythi
ng.
I
t’
sreal
lyfrustr
ati
ng.
”
King:
“Iam goi
ngt
oaskMthembutotr
y
communicati
ngwi
tht
heancest
ors.
”

Me:“buti
t’
spointl
essbecausethedangeri
s
cominganditseemsli
kethereisnothi
ngwecando
topr
eventit
.Maybeyoucanj ustpr
ay.”
Kuhle:“
STHANDWASAMI
!”heshout
sfr
om t
he
room.
Me:“ IAM I
NTHEBALCONY! ”Ishoutback.“
Wewill
tal
klater
.”Ihangup.Hecomesandhugsmef r
om
behind.
Kuhl
e:“
goodmor
ning.Whyar
eyouupsoear
ly?
”

Me:“
thebabi
eswer
erest
less.Howi
syourday
l
ooki
ngli
ke?”
Kuhle:“Iam t
aki
ngtheki
dstospendadaywit
h
Sthabil
e.Idon’
ttr
usther
.Shemightdosomet
hing
t
othem.
”
Me:“
okay.Iwi
llj
ustf
indsomet
hingt
odot
hen.
”

Webot hshowerandpr epar

efort
hedayahead.He
thenleaves.Igodownstai
rsandf
indZamoheati
ng
cereal
.
Me:“
canIal
sohaveabowl
?”hesmi
les.

Zamoh:“ Il
oveyourmannersmyl ady.
”Hemakes
cerealformeandhandsi tt
ome.“ Youseem t
obe
l
ost.What ’
sup?Youcant alkt
ome.Iam agood
l
ist
ener .
”Heisri
ght.Al
thoughhedoesn’tgi
vegood
advices,hei
sagreatli
stenerandyoucangot ohi
m
i
fyouwantt ovent.

Me:“
nothi
ng.Iam j
ustdown.
”Hesmi
lesandcl
aps
hi
shandsli
keanidi
ot.
Zamoh:“Thobekai
sinJozifortheweekendto
spendtimewit
hbae.”Heindicat
eswithhandsandI
j
ustlaugh.Hecanbeplayf
ulattimes.“Mabut
hois
wi
thhisf
ami
ly,
hismot
hercamet
oseet
hem f
ora
week.
”

Me:“
hismot
her
?Wher
edoesshest
ay?
”
Zamoh:“Bar
celona.Shei
sat
eam managerf
ora
soccert
eam t
here.”
Me:“
wowt
hat
’shuge.
”
Zamoh:“yeah.Soshehar dl
ycomesi
nthecount
ry
andMabut hoalsohardl
yhaveti
metogoseeher
becauseofhiswork.”

Me:“
okaythen.Soi
t’
sjustmeandyou.Whatar
e
wegoingt
odo? ”
Zamoh:“youf or
gottocountyourgoons. ”Il
augh.
Him,Mabut hoandThobekadi sl
iketheguards
Kuhleassignedforme.Theyar e4andt heyare
alwayswithmebutwhenwear eoutsidehome.
“Anywayswecangot oShakaMar i
ne.Youknow
howwat ercanli
ftone’
sspiri
t.Afterthatweare
goingtogodosomeshoppi ngandt henmaybe
wat
chamovi
e.”Il
augh.

Me:“
whydoesn’
tyourf
undayi
nvol
veal
cohol
?”
Zamoh:“ becauseyouar
eexpecting.
”Ifr
ownand
l
ookathi m.“Iknowyou,boss.Ihavebeenaround
youf ormorethan6months.Youhaven’ttouched
alcoholi
namont h.
”
Me:“
you’
recounti
ng?”helaughsandshrugs.“
Okay
l
etmegogetbathingsui
tandchange.”

Zamoh:“yay!Bytheway,Iam dr
ivi
ngtheBugat
ti
today.Ij
ustwannafeel
thatbeast.
”Il
augh.
Me:“
asi
ngl
escr
atchandyouar
edead.
”
Zamoh:“
Iswearont
hevi
rgi
nMar
y.”Ichuckl
eand
shakemyhead.

Iheadtothebedr
oom andchangeintoawhit
e
pl
eatedabovekneeshortsl
eevedsummermid
waistdr
essandwhitefl
ipfl
ops.Ipackmybathi
ng
suit
,towelandhat.It
akemywal l
et,phoneand
Bugattikeysandthenheaddownst airs.Ihand
Zamoht hekeysandhesqueals.Irollmyeyes.We
goout si
deandhegoest otakethecaroutoft he
garagewhi l
eIinf
orm myguardsaboutwher ewe
aregoing.

Zamohpar ksinfr
ontofmeandIcl i
mbi nside.We
dri
veoutwi t
htheguardsfol
lowingus.Itextmy
fr
iendsaboutmypl ansandtheybothrespondby
sayingt
heywi l
lmeetusthere.

Me:“howisyourrel
ati
onshi
pst
atusgoi
ng?St
il
la
pl
ayer?”hel
aughs.
Zamoh:“
ther
eisthi
schick.Sheisn’
tli
kenoot
her
.
Shei
sdoingher2ndyearinvarsi
ty.
”
Me:“
shei
saki
dZamoh.
”

Zamoh:“
isshe?
”hewi
ggl
eshi
seyebr
owsandIj
ust
l
augh.
Me:“
what
everdude.Sohowi
sshel
ike?
”
Zamoh:“Ifoundherstil
lpur
e.Shemademechange
myplayerways.Iam goingtowif
eherassoonas
shef
inishesherdegree.”
Me:“
awwZamohi
sinl
ove.
”
Zamoh:“
what
ever
.”Hebl
ushesandr
oll
shi
seyes.I
j
ustl
augh.
Me:“gothrought
hepet
rolst
ati
onsot
hatyoucan
f
il
lthetank.”
Zamoh:“
okay.
”

Wef i
llt
het ankandt hendri
vet otheShakaMar i
ne.
Wef i
rstbuyt i
cketsforWet‘ nWildandthengo
change.Whi l
ewear eheadingtotherides,
Noma
andLeecat chupt ousandwegot ogether
.We
haveal otoffunintheSuper tube,Mult
il
aner acer
,
thedropzoneandt hedizzyduzi.Ipassont he
mambat unnelsli
debecauseofmyf earforsnakes.

Wet
hengot
otheadul
tpoolwher
eweswi
m and
j
ustsplashwaterateachot her
.Ididn’
tknowt hatI
neededthismuchf un.Iam def
init
elygoi
ngt ocome
backherenexttime.Whenwear eti
redofthewat er,
wegot otheCargohol dwhereweeatourl unchat .
Weor derandthenourf oodcomes.Wedi vein
i
nstantl
y.

Me:“thankyouZamoh.Idi
dn’
tknowhowmuchI
neededthis.
”
Zamoh:“
youar
ewel
comemyl
ady.
”
Me:“
Kuhl
eshoul
dpayyouext
raf
orspoi
li
nghi
s
wi
fe.
”

Zamoh:“
canIpl
easehavet
hati
nrecor
ding?
”weal
l
l
augh.
Noma:“
wear
eyourwi
tnesses.
”
Zamoh:“
cheer
stot
hat
.”

Whenwear
edoneeat
ing,
wet
henpayandgot
othe
ci
nema.Wewat chNamast eWahala.It’
sar eall
y
cuter omanti
cmovi ewhichmakesmemi ssKuhl e
butIam notgoi ngtotexthi
m becauseIdon’ twant
Sthabi l
ethi
nkingIam pett
yorsomet hing.Wear e
havingsomuchf unweendupwat chinganot her
movi e,FearofRainwhichisaboutagi rlwi
th
schizophrenia.

Aftertheendoft hesecondmovi e, wepartways.

Wecan’ tgoshoppi ngbecauseit’salr
eadylateandI
am supert i
red.Butthatdoesn’
tst opusfrom
j
ammi ngtot hesongsplayi
ngonmySpot i
fy.Iam
evenpost i
ngvi deosonmyI nstagram and
What sApp.Hest opsattheredlightandwet akea
fewphot os.Ilaughathim becausehei seven
pouting.

Theli
ghtgoesgr eenandhetakesof f
.Outoft he
blueatruckj
ustcolli
deswi
thourcar .Her ushesto
mysideandcover smeasthecari sspi r
ali
ngoutof
contr
ol.Iam scr
eaminguncontrol
lably.Thenext
t
hingIseei
sdar
knessandmybodyj
ustgi
vesi
n.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
18] :CHAPTER73

*
**MABUTHONZAMA*
**
Mymi ndli
ter
all
yfrozewhenCart,
oneofFut hy’s
guards,inf
ormedmeaboutt heaccident.Mybr ot
her
wast heonewhodr ovemetothehospitalbecause
thestateIwasinwasnotgood.Wegett hereand
rushtothewai t
ingroom.If
indCartandt heot her
guardswal ki
ngupanddown.Igost raighttoCar t
.
Me:“
whathappeneddude?
”
Cart
:“ t
hetr
uckcameoutofnowher eandtookt
hem
outman.Wewer eal
lshockedbyi
t.Wewer edr
ivi
ng
behindthem.I
tjustcameandhitt
heircar
.Almost
asifitwaswait
ingforthem.”

Nsizwa:“thiswasdef
init
elypremeditat
ed.”Nsizwa
i
smyol derbrot
herwhoisanex- copandanar ms
dealer
.Heandmyf at
herandmyot hersibli
ngsare
gangsters.Iam t
heonlyleadi
ngal egall
ife.

Me:“howi
sFut
hyandZamoh?
”Car
tscr
atcheshi
s
head.
Car
t:“
thedoctorsar
esti
llbusywit
htheprincess,
so
wedon’tknowwhatishappeningwit
hher.But
unf
ort
unatelyZamokuhl
edidn’tmakeit
.”
Me:“
what
?!”

Cart
:“Iam sorr
y.”Ishakemyheadandwalk
backwards.Ikeeponwal ki
ngunt
ilmybackcol
li
des
wit
hsomet hi
ng.It
urntoseeLeestandi
ngwit
h
t
earyeyes.Shedoesn’
taskanyt
hing.Shej
ustpul
ls
metoahug.

Tearsj ustflowf reelyandIdon’tevenstopt hem.

Sheal sodoesn’ tsayanything.Sheisjusthol di
ng
met i
ght ly.Zamokuhl eismybestf r
iendfrom high
school.Ihaveknownf orsolong.Ican’
tbelievehe
i
sgone, justlikethat.Thiswasdef i
nit
elyplanned.
Leefinallybr eakst hehugandwi pesmyt ear s.

Lee:“
Iam sor
ry.
”Ishakemyhead.
Me:“i
t’
snotyourfaul
t.I
t’
snobody’
sexceptf
ort
he
oneswhoplannedthi
saccident
.”
Lee:“
yout
hinki
twaspl
anned?
”Ishr
ug.

Me:“
Iam goi
ngtofindout.Ri
ghtnowIneedtolet
mybossknowaboutthissothathecaninf
orm hi
s
f
amil
y.”Shenodsandclearshert
hroat
.
Lee:“
youcango.Iwi
lli
nfor
m youi
fther
ear
eany
changeswi
thFut
hy.
”Inod.
Me:“
okayt
hankyou.
”It
urn.“
Nsi
zwal
et’
sbounce.
”

Lee:“
that
’syourbr
other
?”hecomesandst
ands
nextt
ome.
Nsi
zwa:“Iam t
hef
amousandhandsomeNsi zwa
Nzama.Thisi
smylit
tl
ebr
other
.”Shechuckl
es.
Lee:“
andIam Dr
.Nkosi
.Mabut
ho’
sfr
iend.
”

Nsi
zwa:“
youshoul
ddef
ini
tel
y…”Ii
nter
rupthi
m.
Me:“
weneedt
ogo.SeeyousoonLee.
”
Lee:“
okay.
”Ipul
lmybr
otherandweheadout
.

Nsi
zwa:“If
eelsohonoredtofi
nall
ymeett he
womanwhohasmybr other
’shear
t.”Ir
ollmyeyes
andhechuckl
es.Weclimbinsidet
hecarandItake
myphoneout.Ical
lmybossandheanswer s
i
mmediatel
y.
Boss:“
thi
sbet
terbegoodNzama.Youcan’
tjust
cal
lamanatthishourwhi
lehei
ssit
ingwit
hhis
wif
eandisabouttosmash.
”

Me:“
it
’si
mpor
tant
.Si
melanei
sdead.Hewas
i
nvol
vedi
nacaracci
dent
.”
Boss:“
you’
rej
oki
ng,
right
?”
Me:“Iam afrai
dIam not.Iwascall
ingyousot
hat
youcantellhisfami
lybecauseIcan’tdoi
t.
”He
si
ghs.
Boss:“
whathappened?
”

Me:“Idon’
thavemuchi
nfor
mat
ionbutwhenIdo,
I
wi
lll
etyouknow.”
Boss:“
okayandIam sor
ry.Iknowhowcl
oseyou
were.
”
Me:“sure.
”Ihangup.Nsizwadr i
vesinthe
warehousewheretheykeept hegunsandIjust
keepquiet
.Heparksthecarandwecl imboff.We
goinsi
deandIf i
ndmyf atherandsibl
ingsal
ready
t
her
e.It
urnt
oNsi
zwa.“
Youcal
ledt
hem?
”

Dad:“
Zamokuhlewasl i
keasontome.Ihavet
o
fi
ndwhokill
edhim andmakethatper
sonmeetthei
r
makersoon.
”

Nsi zwa:“Iknowwher etheaccidenthappened.

Mi hlelet’
sgot oyouroffi
cesot hatwecanseei f
ther earecamer assurr
oundingt hatpl
ace.”Mihle
standsupandt heyheadtoherof fi
ce.Mihlei
smy
oldersi st
er.Sheusedt obeahacker ,wellsheissti
ll
ahackerbecausehacki ngwillneverleaveherblood
butshei snowahousewi fe.Sheonl ycomesher e
whendadasksher .

Dad:“whodoyout
hinkmi
ghtbepl
ott
ingagai
nst
yourboss?
”
Me:“Sthabi
le.Pr
inceKuhle’
sex-
wife.Iam sayi
ng
herbecauseshehaseveryreasontobebi t
terabout
thi
s.AlsoNqobil
eMt hi
yane.Sherecentl
y
sabot
agedapr oj
ectFuthywasbusywi t
h.Those
twodefi
nit
elyhasmotive.I
fIwasinvest
igat
ing,
I
wouldst
artwitht
hem.”

Nkosikhona:“Iwil
lcheckthem out
.Givemet hei
r
ful
lnames.”Itellhi
m.Hei smyyoungerbrother.He
canfindanythingandanyone.Heissoclever.He
j
ustdidn’tl
ikeschool.Hedroppedoutofvarsit
y
duri
nghi sfi
rstyear
.Het ol
dmypar entst
hatitwas
j
ustawast eoft i
me.“24hours.”Hethenstandsup
andleaves.

Dad:“
gor
est
.Wewi
llt
akecar
eoft
his.
”
Me:“t
hankyoubaba.
”Webr
ohugandt
henIhead
out
.

IgettoFuthy’
shouseandIf r
ownwhenIhearl oud
music.Whot hefuckmightbeinsi
de?Iparkt
hecar
onthedriveway,wit
hdr
awmygunf rom mywaist
andthenheadi nsi
de.I
tiscomingfrom t
hegym
room.Iknowexactlywhothatis.Iheadther
eand
fi
ndherpunchingthepunchingbaghar dwhil
etear
s
arest
reamingdownhercheeks.Igot oherspeaker
andswitchitof
f.

Me:“
kil
li
ngt
hebagwon’
tbr
inghi
m back.
”
Thobeka:“
Iam i
npai
n.Myhear
tisl
it
eral
lyt
orni
nto
pi
eces.”
Me:“
tal
kinghel
ps.
”Shechuckl
es.
Thobeka:“
youknowmebet tert
hananyone.You
knowIdon’tt
alkaboutt
hisstuf
f.
”

Me:“
butyouar
egoi
ngt
ohur
tyour
sel
f.
”
Thobeka:“
IDON’
TCARE.IHATEMYSELF.I
WASN’ TTHEREWHENTHEYNEEDEDMETHE
MOST.IWASBUSYSCREWI NGFUTHY’SBROTHER
I
NSTEADOFDOI NGMYJOBWHI CHIS
PROTECTINGHER.IAM USELESS!
”
Me:“SHUTUPANDLI STENTOME!HI STIMEHAD
COME.THEREWASNOTHI NGYOUNORICOULD
DO!BLAMINGYOURSELFWON’ TCHANGE
ANYTHING!”shejustbr
eaksdownandcr y.Itake
myphoneandt extsLel
etocomeASAP.Isi tnextto
herandhughert i
ght
.“I
t’
sgoingtobeokay.It
’s
goi
ngtobef i
ne.”Fewminut
eslaterLel
ewalksi n.

Lele:“Bee.
”Shelooksupandr ushest
ohim.“I
t’
s
fine.Iam her
enow.”Shebreaksdownandwai l
s.
Thisisthefir
stt
imeIam seeingherthi
svul
nerabl
e.
Itbreaksmyheart.Ist
andupandheadout .

Igotomyr oom andtakeacoldshower .Tear

s
str
eam downmycheekswhenIt hinkaboutthe
goodtimesIhavespentwithZamokuhl e.Myli
fe
wil
lneverbethesamewi t
houthim.Igetoutofthe
showeranddrymybody.Igetdr essedinjeans,
tur
tl
eneckandboots.Iheadtothekitchenand
makecoffee.WhenIam donedr i
nkingIheadout
aft
ertext
ingKabouttheaccidentbecauseIam
sur
enobodyt
oldher
.

IstartataKFCdri
vethruandgetcof f
eef or
everyoneandthendri
vet othewar ehouse.Ifi
nd
everyoneatMihl
e’sof
fice.Ijusthandthem coffee
andsi tdown.

Mihle:“t
hedr iveofthetruckwasLandi
le,
whoisa
for
merempl oyeeofDCC.Hewasi nvol
vedinan
i
ncidentt hatoccurredinNongomainNovember.He
wasgi venal eavebuthenevercamebackt owork
i
nJanuar y.Ihavehackedi nt
ohi
sphone.Turnsout
hewasi ncont actwit
haDonnaMagnes. ”

Me:“ sheisalandsur veyorwhowebeli

evewas
behindtheincidenttogetherwi
thherf
ri
endNqobi
le
Mthiyane.”Nkosikhonamakeshi swayinsi
det
he
off
ice.“Thatwasqui ck.”Hechuckl
es.

Nkosi
khona:“
Ifi
gur
ed24hour
sist
ool
ong.St
habi
le
andhersist
erSthandiwewereseenent
eri
ngaclub
ownedbyNqobi l
eMt hiyanet
wicei
noneweek.I
t’
s
pret
tysuspi
ciousifyouaskme.”

Me:“
soyout
hinkt
heypl
annedt
hewhol
einci
dent
?”
Mihle:“i
t’
sabeauti
fulcoi
nci
dence.What
’sthename
oftheclub?”Nkosi
khonatel
lsher
.Shestar
tstypi
ng
somet hi
ngonherlaptop.
Nkosikhona:“
Donnahasbeenincontactwi
th
Landil
e.Atsomepointshesenthi
m moneyinhi
s
account.
”

Mi
hle:“
foundf
oot
ageoft
hecl
ubbutIcan’
tgeti
n.”
Nsi
zwa:“whatdoyoumeanyoucan’tgeti
n?I
t
houghtyouwerethebest
.”Sher
oll
shereyes.
Mihle:“
getPr
incessLi
sa.Shecangeti
n.It
rust
her.
”
Me:“
oni
t.
”Igetupandheadout
.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
#RI
PZAMOKUHLE
[
03/
09,
08:
18] :CHAPTER74

*
**MABUTHO*
**
Igett
othehospit
alandheadt othewai
ti
ngr oom.I
fi
ndKuhlewithFut
hy’sfr
iendsandherparents.I
cl
earmyt hr
oatandtheyalll
ookatme.

Me:“
anychanges?
”
Xol
i:“
notyet
.Theyhaven’
tupdat
edus.
”
Me:“
howi
sthatpossi
ble?Theyshoul
d’vesai
d
somet
hingbynow.
”

Zah:“
wedon’tknow.Somethi
ngaboutherbei
ngi
n
acri
ti
calcondi
ti
on.
”Iscr
atchmyhead.
Me:“ Kuhl
ecanwet al
k?”helooksatmeandt hen
standsup.Wegot othecorri
dorandstandther
e.“I
needPr i
ncessLi
sa.Howf astcanshegethere?”he
fr
owns.

Kuhl
e:“
why?
”
Me:“It
hinkImighthavealeadonwhodi
dthi
s.I
needhertohacksomethi
ngf orme.
”
Kuhl
e:“
whoi
sthat
?”

Me:“Iwouldr
athernotsay.ButIwi
llt
ellyouonceI
haveallt
heproof
.”
Kuhl
e:“
Ihat
ebei
ngi
nthedar
k.”
Me:“Iunderstandyourfr
ustrati
ons.Butassoonas
IhaveeverythingIneed,
Iwillcometoyousot hat
youcandeci deonwhatt odowi t
htheinfor
mation.
”
Henodsandt akesouthi
sphone.Hedi alsa
numberandt henputonloudspeaker.Thecal
ler
answersimmedi atel
y.

Cal
ler
:“bi
gbr
o.”
Kuhl
e:“
Ineedyou.
”shecl
ear
shert
hroat
.
Li
sa:“Iam attheai
rport
.Rel axIam i
nJo’bur
g.Iam
tr
yingtohackintothesystem sothatIcangetthe
nextfl
ightout.
”hechuckles.“Ihear
daboutsis
Futhy.Wear egoi
ngtogett hosebastar
dswithi
n24
hours.”

Kuhl
e:“
ther
eissomeonewhomi ghthavealeadbut
t
heyneedyourexper
ti
zet
ocracksomet hi
ng.
”
Li
sa:“
whoi
sthat
?”
Kuhl
e:“Mabutho,
Futhy’
sbodyguard.
”Shekeeps
qui
etforasecondandthenspeaksagai
n.
Li
sa:“Ihavef
oundafl
ightout.Iwi
llbetherei
nan
hour
.TellMabut
hotowaitformeatt heair
port
.”
Shethenhangsup.
Kuhl
e:“
youhear
dher
.”Hesi
ghs.
Me:“bestrongman.ImaynotknowmuchbutI
knowthatthebossladywillsur
vive.Sheisst
rong
andstubborn.Shewon’tl
eavehermi ll
ions
unat
tended.”Hechuckl
es.

Kuhle:“
yeah.Youareri
ght
.Iam al
sowor r
iedabout
thebabies.Ihavet
hisf
eel
ingt
hattheysomehow
didn’
tmakei t.
”
Me:“
sot
heyar
etwo?
”hef
rowns.
Kuhl
e:“
youknewshewaspr
egnant
?”
Me:“ ZamohandImadeabet .Hesaidsheis
carryi
ngmulti
pli
esandIsai
di t
’sonebaby.
”I
breatheoutl
oud.
Kuhl
e:“
haveyoucal
ledhi
sfami
ly?
”
Me:“
hewaslikemybrot
herandhewasmybest
f
ri
endsoitwashar
dformetodeli
vert
henews.I
j
ustt
oldt
hebigboss.
”
Kuhle:“ IknowIam aski
ngfortoomuchbutt hi
sguy
practicall
ysacri
fi
cedhimselff
orFuthy.It
hinkshe
won’ thealifshedoesn’
tgetachancetoburyhim.
Canyougethi sfamil
ytoholdoffonthe
ar
r angement sunti
lshewakesup? ”

Me:“Iwi l
lgetdadt otalktothem becauseIdon’t
thi
nktheywi llhearMe.”myphonebeepsandIl ook
atit
.It
’sat extfr
om Mi hleaskingift
heprincessis
onboar d.IfrownwhenIseet hetime.“WowIdi dn’
t
evenrealizethatit
’s2o’clock.Wil
lseeyousoon
man.Letmeheadt otheai r
port.
”
Kuhl
e:“
sur
e.”Iheadoutoft
hehospi
tal
.
.
.
If
ir
stgetcof
feeandbur
ger
sfr
om McDonal
dsand
t
hendri
vetotheairpor
t.Isitattheparkingl
ot
wai
ti
ngforhercall
.Ifr
ownwhenIhearaknockon
t
hepassengerwindow.Phar alepri
ncess.Iopen
t
hedoorforherandshecl i
mbsi nside.Shet
akes
t
hecoff
eefrom theholderanddr i
nksitimmediat
ely.

Li
sa:“youar
esuchal
if
esaver
.”Ichuckl
eanddr
ive
outoftheai
rpor
t.
Me:“Iam notevengoi
ngt
oaskhowyouknewt
he
carIwasdrivi
ng.”
Lisa:“
cleverguy.Ili
keyoual
ready.
”Shel ooksat
thebackseatandsmi l
eswhensheseesa
McDonal d’
spaperbag.Shetakesitandtakesout
onebur ger.“
Dudear eyousi
ngle?Becauseyouare
myt ypeofguy.”Ijustl
augh.

Me:“Iam si
ngl
ebutt
her
eisal
adywhohasmy
hear
t.”
Lisa:“
yourl
ossthen.
”Iconti
nuelaughi
ng.Inever
knewshewast hiscr
azy.Shestar
tseati
ng.“So
whatdoyouneedf
rom me?
”
Me:“
Ineedyout
ohackintoaclub’
sCCTVfootage.
I
tisl
ockedandmysi
sterbel
ievest
hatyoucanhack
i
ntoi
t.
”

Li
sa:“
Mihl
eNzamar
ight
?”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“
ofcour
seyouknowmywhol
efami
lyandwhat
t
heydo.
”
Li
sa:“yes.I
t’
smyjobt oknowpeopl
e’sbusinesses.
Iam proudofyouforchoosi
nganotherpat
hi nli
fe.
Youprovedthatanappledoesf
allf
arfrom the
tr
ee.
”Ismi l
e.
Me:“
thanks.
”

Wegett othewarehouseandheadinside.Thi
st i
me
arounddad,Nsi
zwaandt heot
hersarenothere.It
’s
onlyMihleandNkosikhona.Mi
hlestandsupwhen
sheseesLisa.
Mi
hle:“
thenaught
ypr
incess.
”Li
sal
aughs.
Li
sa:“t
hehousewif
eandt
hecur
iousbr
other
.”They
al
lshakehands.
Me:“
Iguessnoi
ntr
oduct
ionsneededt
hen.
”

Mihl
e:“
no.youcangoandr
estnowbr
other
.Eveni
f
i
t’
sfort
wohours.”
Me:“Iknowyouwon’tletmeofft
hehook.Soi
t’
s
f
ine.Iam l
eavi
ng.Iwi
llgetCar
ttocomeandwait
f
oryou.”

Li
sa:“j
ustcomegetmeaf ter5hour
s.Iwillbedone
bythen.Meaningyouwi
llsleepf
or4hoursand
pr
eparemef oodwhenyouwakeup. ”Ichuckle.
Me:“
yespr
incess.Byeguys.
”Iheadout
.
.
.
*
**KUHLE*
**
IonlywenttomyhousebecauseNompi l
ocame
andf or
cedmet ogobath.Ifi
twasn’tf
orher,Iwould
bear esi
dentatthehospi
talnow.It
’st
wodaysaf t
er
theinci
dentandFuthyhasn’twokenup.Iam glad
thatsheisstabl
eandthebabiesareokaybutI
real
lyneedhertowakeup.Iam lit
eral
lynotcoping.

It
’sTuesdayandIshoul dbegoingtowor kbutI
haveappoi nt
edanactingCEO.Iam gl adthatFuthy
madeBobhervi ceCEObecausehej ustassumes
herresponsibi
li
ti
esinherabsence.Ibathandget
dressedinacottonshortandagolft-shir
twith
sandals.Iheadtothekit
chenandIf r
ownwhenI
seeLisaandMabut hositt
ingther
edr i
nkingcoffee.

Me:“
whendidyouguysgether
e?Andwhydoesi
t
l
ookl
ikeyouhaven’
tsl
epti
nawhil
e?”
Lisa:“
2daystobepreci
se.Wehaveal
ltheevi
dence
tolockupthepeopl
ewhocausedtheacci
dent
.”
Me:“whocausedt
heacci
dent
?”shecl
ear
sher
t
hroat.
Li
sa:“
Nqobi
leMt
hiyane,
DonnaMagnes.
”
Mabut
ho:“
Sthandi
weandSt
habi
leGcaba.
”If
rown.
Me:“
Iam sor
ry,
what
?”Li
sahandsmeaf
lashdr
ive.

Lisa:“ever
ythingyouneedisint
her
e.Ineedt
o
rest.
”Shel eavestheki
tchen.
Mabut
ho:“
whatar
eyougoi
ngt
odoaboutt
his?
”
Me:“submi
titt
otheauthor
it
ies.Iknowadetect
ive
whocangetthem behi
ndbarsbyt omor
row
af
ter
noon.Whatdoyouwannado? ”

Mabutho:“
Iwantthedri
verdeadbutIguessIcan
gethi
m evenontheinsi
de.
”
Me:“whatdoyoumean?Man,
whoar
eyou?
”he
chuckl
es.
Mabut
ho:“
Iam BraChi
ll
sson.Thel
egalone.See
youman.
”heheadsoutl
eavi
ngmeshocked.Itake
mycarkeysandheadout
.

Ican’tbelieveSthabil
estoodthislow.Whatwas
sheexpect i
ng?Thatsheki l
lsFuthyandIgor unni
ng
backintoherar ms?Wher eassheist heonewho
screwedmeover .Somepeopl eareinsaneand
delusional.Ijustcan’
tbel
ieveshewoul dgotosuch
extremel engths.

Ifi
twasanot herpersonIwoul d’
vepr obabl
ykil
led
herbynowbutIdon’ twantherbloodonmyhands.
Myki dsstil
lneedt heirmother,j
ustthatshewillbe
ther
ef orthem behindbars.IgettotheGr eyvi
ll
e
Poli
ceSt ati
onandheadt othehel pdesk.Iaskfor
Detecti
veNcebakaziShabangu.Someonel eadsme
toheroffice.Ifi
ndherdanci ng.Shechuckleswhen
sheseesme.

Nceba:“
youj
ustdist
urbedmyTi
kTokvi
deosoyou
owemedata.
”Ilaugh.
Me:“ buti
t’
syourdutyt
ohel
pmeandyouar edoi
ng
personalthi
ngduri
ngworkhour
s.”Sher
oll
sher
eyesandl ooksatme.
Nceba:“
youlookfamil
iar
.”Shef
rowns.“Youaret
he
cr
ownedprinceoftheZuluki
ngdom?”Ishrug.

Me:“
gui
lt
yaschar
ged.
”Isi
tdown.
Nceba:“
sohowmayIhel
pyou?
”Ihandhert
he
f
lashdri
ve.
Me:“ thesepeopl
econspi redandcausedan
accidentthatl
eftmyf iancéhospit
ali
zedandher
driverdead.Theflashdr i
vecontai
nsallthe
evidenceyouwi l
lneedf orthecase.Atleasthave
them behindbarsbyt omor r
oweveningbef orethey
fl
eet hecountry.
”Shesmi l
es.

Nceba:“wellmypri
nceIam notcal
ledt
hebestf
or
not
hing.Alt
houghit
’sweir
dthatyouarenott
aki
ng
matter
sintoyourownhandsseeingthi
sis
per
sonal.”
Me:“Iam notthatperson.Iam afut
ureki
ngsoI
mustleadatransparentli
feandbeagoodexample
t
omysi bli
ngsandt hewhol enati
on.
”
Nceba:“spokenli
keat
ruel
eader
.Gi
veme12
hour
s.”Ismile.
Me:“IknewIcoul
dcountonyou.
”Ist
andupand
headout.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
18] :CHAPTER75

*
**MABUTHO*
**
Yest
erdayIwentt
oZamoh’
shome.Iwasexpect
ing
hi
smot hertobebr
eathi
ngf i
reaboutt heaccident.
Butshewascalm,orrathersadandhur tabouti
t.
Whensheaskedwhocausedi t,It
oldherandIal so
i
nformedheraboutthesuspectsget t
ingarrest
ed.
Thatseemedtoputhermi ndatease.Sheal so
agreedtopost
poneZamoh’ sfuneralforthesakeof
Futhy.

RightnowIam atUKZNHowar dcampus.Iam here

totel
l Zamoh’ sgi r
lf
ri
endaboutt heacci
dent.Idon’
t
knowhowshei sgoingtoreact.ButIam hoping
shedoesn’ tfaintorsomething.Ileanonthecar
bonnet .Iseeherasshecomest othegate.Sheis
wearingherever ydaysmil
e.Ifeelsobadt hatIam
aboutt otakeitawayf rom her.

Mpumi:“
heyBut
ho.
”Shesmi
lesagai
nthenshe
f
rowns.
Me:“
heyMpumi
.”Shef
oldsherar
mst
oherchest
.
Mpumi
:“Iam madatyourfr
iendfornotcont
act
ing
mesi
nceSaturdaymorni
ng.IfIam madathimthat
meansIam al
somadatyou.
”Icl
earmyt
hroat
.

Me:“
ther
eissomet
hingIneedt
otel
lyou.
”
Mpumi:“
hesentyouher
etobreakupwit
hme, isn’
t
i
t?Heissuchacowardt
hathedidn’
twanttof
ace
mehimself
.WhatwasIthi
nki
ngdati
nganolderguy?
Iwasset
ti
ngmyselfupf
oraheartbr
eakfr
om the
begi
nni
ng.I…”

Me:“
hei
sdead.
”Shest
opsmumbl
ingandl
ooksat
me.
Mpumi
:“what
?”
Me:“hediedonSat ur
dayni
ghtinacaracci
dent.I
am sor
ry.”Sheshakesherheadandtear
sstar
t
fal
li
ngfrom hereyes.

Mpumi :“you’
relyi
ng.You’r
elyi
ng.NotmyMoh.He
wouldneverleaveme.Hesai dithi
mself.Hewoul
d
neverleaveme.Hemadepr omisestome.Hecan’
t
j
ustleavemel ikethat
.”Ipul
lhercl
oserandhugher
t
ight
.Shej
ustcr
iesoutl
oudwhi
lemumbl
ingt
hings.

Me:“
it
’sgoi
ngt
obeokay.
”
Mpumi:“noitwon’t
.Whataboutme?Whatabout
hi
schil
d?Ourl i
tt
lefamil
y?Heisj
ustgoingt
oleave
usli
kethat
?”Ibreakthehugandlookather
.

Me:“whatchi
ldar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?”shewi
pes
hert
ears.
Mpumi :“Iam si
xweekspr egnant
.Itr
iedcalli
nghi m
onSundayt oinfor
m him buthisphonekepttaking
met ovoicemail
.NowIknowwhy.Howam Igoi ng
torai
set hi
schil
d?Iam stil
lastudent.Ican’
tbea
singl
emot her.Myparent
sar egoingtodisownme
whent heyfi
ndoutthatIam pregnantandt hefather
i
sdead. ”

Me:“
rel
ax.YouhavemeandThobeka.Wear egoing
t
obehereforyouforever
ythi
ngyouneed.Iwil
ltalk
t
omybossandmakesur ethatyouatl
eastget
R1500mont hlyt
ot akecareoft
hebabyneeds.Just
knowthatyouar enotalone.
”Shewi
peshertears
whichhaven’tst
oppedf al
li
ng.
Mpumi
:“wheni
shi
sfuner
al?
”

Me:“wedon’
tknowyetbutpr
obabl
ynextSat
urday.
”
Shenods.
Mpumi:“
okaypl
easel
etmeknowt
heexactday
whenyouknow.
”
Me:“ okay.I
sthereanyt
hingyouwouldli
kethat
belongst ohi
m befor
eItakehisst
uffbackt
ohis
family?”

Mpumi:“wewil
ltalkt
omor
row.FornowIj
ustwant
t
oprocessthi
s.”Inod.
Me:“okay.
”Ihugheragai
nforthel
astti
me.“See
yousoon.”Shenodsandheadsbackinsi
de.
.
.
*
**THOBEKANGWENYA*
**
Itakethejackett
hatheboughtf ormeonmyl ast
birt
hdayandweari t.Thesunisver yhotout
sidebut
Ifeell
ikewearingitwillmakemef eelcl
osertohi
m.
IrememberwhenIl eftonFri
dayhislastwords
were‘Iam happythatyouopenedyourhear tand
youhavef oundther i
ghtguyforyou.Holdont ohi
m
butnottoot i
ghtbecausehemi ghtjustdi
e.’

Il
aughedathi m andtol
dhim hisadvicesucksas
al
waysbuthewasr i
ght
.Ijustdi
dn’twannasayitt
o
hi
sf acetoboosthisego.ButnowIwi shIhadsaid
i
tinsteadofthelastwordsIsaidtohim whichwer
e
‘
what everdi
ckhead.’

Ihaveknownhimf or7years.WhenIwashi r
edat
theDibber
sAgency, hewasst il
labodyguar d.He
trai
nedmeandliterall
ytaughtmeever ythingther
e
i
st oknowinourlineofwor k.Hewasver ytoughon
mebutIam gratefulforthatbecauseIlearnedalot
from hi
m.
Iheadtotheki t
chenandf indLel
ecooking.Ismile.
Ifi
twasn’tforhim Iwouldbeawr eckorat i
cking
ti
mebombbecauseIwoul d’vekeptmygriefinsi
de.
Iam grat
efulforhavinghimi nmylif
e.Hesmi les
back.Isi
tont hebarstoolandlookathi
m movi ng
aroundli
keheownst heplace.

Lel
e:“IknowIam handsomebutst
opl
ooki
ngatme
l
ikeIam ameal.
”Ilaugh.
Me:“
owwpl
ease.You’
ref
ullofyour
sel
f.
”
Lele:“Iam aCel
e.Doyoublameme?”Ir
ollmyeyes.
“Iwillpuni
shyoufort
hat
.”Igi
ggl
e.

Me:“
sor
ry.
”Hechuckl
es.
Lel
e:“Ithoughtso.
”Hepour
sjuiceonagl
assand
handsittome.“ Mar
ryme.
”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“
what
?”
Lel
e:“youhear
dme.Anywayseatsot
hatwecango
checkuponFuthy.
”
Me:“
hey!Youcan’tj
ustdropabombonmel
iket
hat
andt
henbrushitasi
de.”
Lel
e:“
Ihaveaskedaquest ion.Iam expect
ingayes
oranoanswer .I
tisnotsomet hi
ngtobediscussed.
Youcandiscussthemat t
erwithyourinnersel
fbut
minanj
engoMagaye, Ihavedonemypar t.
”

Me:“
wow.
”Hel
aughs.
Lel
e:“
nowl
etmef
eedyou.
”

Hedi shesupf orthebothofus.Hegi vesmemy

plateandsi t
sdownnextt omewi t
hhi s.Webotheat
si
lently.Thisfoodissodel i
cious.Heisamean
cookbuthei scrazyaboutthismar ri
aget hi
ng.
Firstl
yhei sayearyoungert hanme.Okayt hati
sn’t
af actorbecauseheisver ymat ureforhisage.Buti
t
i
st oosoon.Wehaven’ tevendat edfor6mont hs
andal readyhewant stomar ry.Thisfeelsli
ke
anot
herKuhl
eFut
hysi
tuat
ion.

Lele:“don’
tover
thi
nki
t.Yourbr
ainwi
llf
reeze.
”I
giggle.
Me:“
that
’sj
ustst
upi
d.”Her
aiseshi
seyebr
ows.
Lel
e:“
Iam st
upi
d?”

Me:“
don’
ttwi
stmywor
dsBubu.
”
Lel
e:“Iam goi
ngtoletyoumournthi
sweekand
nextweekbutrestassur
ed,
aft
erthatIam goi
ngt
o
ri
pyourpussyapart.
”
Me:“andIam goi
ngt
omakeyousqueall
ikeal
it
tl
e
gi
rl
.”Helaughs.
Lel
e:“
gameon.
”
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
19] :CHAPTER76

*
**KUHLE*
**
Iam sit
tingatt hevisit
ors’chai
rwhileholdi
ng
Futhy’
shand.Shel ookssobeaut if
ulbutherface
haslit
tl
escr atches.Iam sur eshewon’tmakea
fussabouti t
.Dur i
ngt heaccident
,herlegandarm
wereinjured.Iam sur ewhenshewakesupshewi l
l
berequiredtousecr utches.

Whileholdi
ngherhand,shesqueezesmine.My
eyespopout .Ikeepqui
ett
hinkingmaybei
t’
sa
ref
lex.Hereyesopenandshel ooksar
ound.Ipr
ess
onthebuzzerandr emovehermask.

Fut
hy:“
Zamoh.Zamoh.Zamokuhl
e.”Shesaysi
na
f
aintvoi
ce.Ihat
etobr
eakherheartandIknowthat
l
earni
ngaboutZamokuhl
ewillbr
eakherheart
.
Me:“
babyIam her
e.”Ihel
phersi
tup.Shel
ooksat
mewithaconf
usedface.

Fut
hy:“whyam Iatt
hehospit
al?Wher
eisZamoh?
”
l
ucki
lyIam savedbythedoct
orwhoenter
swit
ha
nur
se.
Me:“Iwil
lbebackinafewminut
es.
”Iheadoutand
gotothewait
ingroom.If
indLel
ewit
hThobekaand
Mabutho.

Lel
e:“
youseem i
nabet
termood.What
’sup?
”
Me:“
shei
sup.
”theyal
lst
andup.
Thobeka:“
that
’sgoodnews.Nowwhydoyoul
ook
l
ikeyouhavejustswal
lowedlemons?
”

Me:“
shei
saski
ngwher
eZamokuhl
eis.
”
Mabut
ho:“
fuck.
”
Me:“
yeah,
fuck.
”Isi
tdownandt
heyal
lsi
t.
Lel
e:“
letmecal
lmom anddad.
”

Mabutho:“
andIwil
lcal
lLeeandNoma.”Afteraf
ew
mi
nutesthedoct
orcomestothewai
ti
ngr oom.
Doctor:“
youcangoseehernow. ”Ist
andupand
rushtoherward.Ifi
ndhersi
tt
ingonthebed
l
ookingontheceili
ng.

Me:“
myl
ove.
”shel
ooksatme.
Futhy:“
Irememberit.Theaccident
.Whereis
Zamokuhle?”Icl
earmyt hr
oatandavoideye
contact
.“Youhaveneverbeent heshyonearound
me.TalkKuhlekonke.
”Iscrat
chmyhead.

Me:“ heisgonest
handwaSami .Hediedprot
ect
ing
you.Hedi dn’
tsur
vive.
”Sheshakesherhead
repeatedl
y.
Fut
hy:“
you’
rel
ying.
”Hervoi
cei
sal
readybr
eaki
ng.
“
No,
hei
sokay.Hei
sfi
ne.Hemadei
toutal
ive.
”

Me:“mylovepl
ease.Don’tdot
histoyour
self.
”I
cl
osert
oherbedandhol dherhands.“
Calm down.
”
Futhy:“nodon’ttel
lmetocal
m down.Heprotected
me.Heshi eldedme.Hesavedmyl i
fe.Whycouldn’t
theysparehim? ”shest
art
sshaki
ngand
hyperventi
lat
ing.

Me:“pleasecalm downbabe.Calm down.”Sheisn’

t
calmingdown.“NURSE!NURSE! ”Ishout.Anurse
rushesinquickl
y.“Pl
easesedat
eher .Sheisnot
okay.”
Nur
se:“pl
easemoveawayf
rom herandl
etmedo
myjob.
”
Me:“youar
egoingt
obefi
nebabe.
”Iki
ssher
f
oreheadandheadout
.
.
.
*
**FUTHY*
**
Hewasagoodper son.Hewasagr eatli
stenerbut
terr
ibl
eatgi vi
ngadvi ses.Hewasabr eathoffresh
airandhi saurajustscreamedf un,butonlywhen
youwer eclosef r
iendswi t
hhim.Ineverconsi dered
myempl oyees,empl oyeesespecial
lytheonesI
l
ivedwi t
handt heonesIwor kedsocl osewith.

Hewasl i
keayoungerbr othertomeandaf r
iend.I
rememberthelasthourswespentt ogether
.They
wereoneofthebesthour sofmyl i
fe.Ihadsomuch
funandIknowt hatwhathappenedt hatdaywi l
l
for
everbeengravedinmymi nd.Thetimewespent ,
Iwil
lfor
evercheri
shit.

Iremembert hewayhewassohappyaboutdr iving

theBugatti.Hesqueal edlikeal
it
tl
egir
l.Thevi
deos
wet ooksingingandj ustlaughi
ngint
hecar.Ikeep
l
ooki ngatthem.Thel astmemor yofhi
m.Iam yet
toseehisgi r
lfr
iend.IknowIwoul dbebeyond
brokenifsomet hingwer etohappent
omyKuhl e.
Whichi
swhyMabut hoshoul
dtakemet
oseeher
whenIgetdi
schar
ged.

Kuhlehasbeensounder standi
ngandhehasbeen
hereforme.Iam prettysureifi
twasanot herman
hewoul dn’
tunderst
andwhyIam mour ningthe
deathofanotherman.I thasbeenadaysi nceI
l
earnedabouthisdeat handIhaven’tacceptedit
.
WheneverIseeMabut hoandThobekawal ki
ng
i
nsidemywar d,Iam expect i
ngtoseehim wal ki
n
behindthem.It
’ssti
llafreshwound.

Kuhl
e:“baby.
”Ilookathim.“Whatwouldyoul
iket
o
eat
?”IknowIam hear tbr
okenandallbutmy
babi
es’well
bei
ngi salsoi
mportant
,soIfor
ce
myselft
oeatfrom ti
met oti
me.
Me:“i
nhlokonedombol
o.”Hefr
ownsandthen
smil
es.Hetakesouthi
sphoneandtapsonitf
ora
fewsecondsthenheputsi
tbackt
ohispocket
.
Kuhl
e:“
done.
”
Me:“whenam Iget
ti
ngdischar
ged?Idon’
tli
ke
stayi
ngher
e.I
t’
sdepressi
ngformeandmybabi es.
”
Ihatest
ayi
nghereandlooki
ngatthewall
sallday
l
ong.Itr
eal
lyi
sdepressi
ng.
Kuhl
e:“Iwi
llgetthedoct
ortodi
schar
geyou
t
omorrowmor ninglat
estst
handwa.
”Inod.

Me:“
wheni
sthef
uner
al?
”
Kuhl
e:“si
nceyouar
eawakenow,
iti
sgoi
ngt
obe
t
hisSunday.
”
Me:“Iwoul
dli
ket
ogoseehi
sfami
lybef
ore
Sunday.
”
Kuhl
e:“
Iwi
llar
rangef
ort
hatt
omor
row.
”

Me:“whodi dthi
s?Whocausedt heaccident?
Becausetherewasnowayat r
uckcoul dcomeout
ofnowhereandt ar
getusjustl
ikethat.I
thadtobe
premedit
ated.
”Hescratcheshisbeard.Iknowhe
doesthatwhensomet hi
ngmakeshi m
uncomf
ort
abl
e.

Kuhle:“i
twasplannedbySthabi
le,
hersi
ster
Sthandiwe,
NqobileMthi
yanewithherf
ri
endDonna
MagnesandLandi lef
rom t
heNongomai nci
dent
.”I
chuckleandshakemyhead.

Me:“wow.Yourbi t
terexcausedmemyf r
iendand
almostcausedmemyl i
fetogetherwit
hmybabies’
l
ife.Whatthefuckdidshedot hatfor
?Idi
dn’tst
eal
youawayf rom her
.Whydi dshecomeaf t
erme? ”

Kuhle:“herf
akefr
iendsconvi
ncedhert
hat
,wi
thyou
outoft heway,
shecanwar m herwayt
omyheart
easi
ly.”Wow.
Me:“soZamohdi
edf
ort
hatbul
lshi
t?Wher
eisshe
r
ightnow?”

Kuhl
e:“i
nhol
dingcel
lswit
hhernewf
oundfri
ends.
Mabuthowi
thhissi
bli
ngsandLi
samanagedto
gat
heral
levi
denceneededt
olockal
loft
hem
away.
”
Me:“Iwi
shtheycandi
e,aslowpainf
uldeath,but
pri
sonwil
lbethei
rnewhome.Ihopeitopenstheir
mindsandmakesthem l
essstupi
d.Sowher eismy
car?
”

Kuhl
e:“
beyondr
epai
rsbutIwi
llr
epl
acei
t.
”Ishake
myhead.
Me:“
no.IwantLisat
oemptyal
lthei
raccount
sand
wi
ththatmoney,
youshoul
dbuymycar .
”Hesmiles.
Kuhl
e:“
consi
deri
tdone.
”

Me:“wecansendt herestt
oZamoh’ sf
amilyand
hisgi
rlf
ri
end.Anywayswhoi shel
pingwit
hthe
funer
al?”
Kuhle:“
DibbersAgency.Hediedondutysothey
takecareofthei
rown.”Inod.“Myfamil
ywantsto
comeandsuppor tyouatthefuner
al.
”Igivehi
ma
weaksmi l
e.
Me:“
theycancome.
”
.
.
Thedoct orhasdischargedmeandIst art
edatmy
housewher eIchangedt oaski r
t,sweaterand
sl
iders.Havingacastont helegandar mli
mitsmy
choiceoftopsandshoes.Idon’ tthinkIam goingto
getusedt owalki
ngwi thcr ut
chesandt hi
s
fr
ustratesmebecausei tmeansIwon’ tbeableto
workunt i
lItakeoffthesecast s.

Wef i
rstpassbyt hemal l
,wegot oWooli
eswher e
webuygr oceri
esandt henweheadt otheSi melane
household.IguessKuhl eispar
anoidbecausethe
numberofmyguar dshasdoubl edandInowt ravel
l
ikeapr i
ncess.Wi t
hthreecarsandtwooft hem
consi
stof8ar medguar ds.

WegettoZamoh’shomeandwecl
imbofft
hecar
s.
ThobekaandMabuthot
aket
hegr
ocer
iesandwe
headinsidethehouse.Weexchangegreeti
ngsand
Mabut hoandThobekagoplacethegroceri
esinthe
kit
chen.Iguesstheyknowthei
rwayar oundhere.
Theycomebackandt heyl
eadmet oar oom where
wef i
ndwomensi tti
ngonthesponge,Iguessthisi
s
themour ni
ngroom.

Mabutho:“sani
bonanibomama.KaMakhobathi
sis
ourboss,Ntombifut
hiCel
e.”Sher
evealsaweak
smil
e.IguessthisisZamoh’smother
.
KaMakhoba:“ youcancomeandsi tnextt
ome. ”I
nodandl i
mpt oher .Isitdown.IknowIwi l
lneed
helpstandi
ngup.“ Thankyouf orbeingagood
employertomyson.Fort hepastfewmonthshe
wasver yhappy.Het alkedaboutyousomuchI
eventhoughthehassomet hi
ngforyou.Butwhen
hetoldmeabouthi syounggi r
lf
riend,
Iknewhewas
j
ustfondofyou. ”Ismi l
e.

Me:“hewassuchagr
eatyoungmanandwasf
ull
ofl
if
e.”
KaMakhoba:“
howwasheonhi slasthours?”Iopen
myphoneandplayvi
deosforher.Shetakesthe
phone.Shegi
ggl
eswit
htearsstr
eam downher
cheeks.“
Hewassohappy.
”
Me:“
hewasindeed.Iwasdownont
hatdaybuthe
managedt
ocheermeup.”

KaMakhoba:“ Iwoul
dli
ketoplaythesevi
deosatthe
funer
al.We,ashisfamil
y,needtoknowthathewas
happyinhislasthour
s.Iguessthi
sisthecl
osure
weneeded.”
Me:“okayma.Therei
ssomethi
ngIwantust ot
alk
aboutbutwewil
ltal
kaft
ert
hefuner
al.FornowI
j
ustwantedtoseehowyouguysaredoing.
”

KaMakhoba:“
seeyousoonsi
si.
”
Me:“okayma.”Webi dfarewel
landthenwel eave.
Mabuthodri
vesust oHowar dcampus.Ineedt osee
Zamoh’sheart
.Wegett hereandfi
ndheralreadyin
theparki
nglot
.Idon’tknowherbutIcanseet hat
shei
snotdoi
ngwel
l.Shesmi
leswhensheseesus.

Mabutho:“mfazikabaf
o.”Shegiveshi
m aweak
smil
e.Theyexchangehugswi thMabuthoand
Thobeka.“Thi
sisFuthy,ourbossandbossladyt
his
i
sMpumi ,
hisheart.
”
Me:“
nicet
omeetyou.
”

Mpumi:“
li
kewi
se.”Iopenmybagandt
akeoutaf
ew
not
esandhandthem toher
.
Me:“thiswon’tbri
nghim backbutpleasetakecar
e
ofyoursel
fandhi sseed.”Mabuthotol
dmeabout
thepregnancy.“Andwewi llt
alkmoreafterthe
funer
al.Justknowt hatyouarewelcomedt her
e.
Evenhismot herwantstoseeyou.”

Mpumi
:“t
hat
’sgoodt
oknow.Thankyousi
si.
”
Me:“
Iwantyoutoknowthatyouwon’
tsuf
ferwhi
le
wearest
il
lal
ive.
”Iopenmyarmsandshecomesto
hugme.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
19] :CHAPTER77

Todayisthef uneral
.It
’saver
ysaddayf orevery
housemate.Kuhl efor
bademet ogot
ot henight
vi
gilst
ati
ngt hatIam notwelltobesi
ti
ngt hewhol e
ni
ghtinat ent.Imightevencatchacold.Hei s
dramati
cbuthewasr i
ghtwhichiswhyIdi dn’
tgo.

Wet akeashowertoget
herwithhi
m doi
ngmostof
theworkbecauseofmyi nj
uri
es.Whenwearedone,
heloti
onsbothourbodi
es.Ithengetdr
essedi
na
blackoffshouldermaxidresswit
hblacksli
derand
blackdoek.Kuhleiswearingablackshir
twit
hblack
chinos,bl
ackloafer
s,bl
ackcoatandhi sfamil
y
l
eopar dski
nonhi sshoulders.

Me:“
ist
hatnecessar
y?”hesmi
les.
Kuhl
e:“myf amilyi
sgoingtobethereandtheywi l
l
comeasr oyalt
ynotjustnormalpeopl
e.”Which
meanstheywi l
lbewear i
ngthei
ranimalpri
ntsalso.
Thestar
est heyaregoingtogetbawo.

Me:“
drama.
”
Kuhle:“don’
tworry,
youwi l
lgetyoursinafew
mont hs.”Ir
ollmyeyesandhel aughs.Wefini
sh
everythi
ngandweheaddownst air
s.Weeatcereal
andt henheadout.WefirstgotofetchMpumiand
thendr i
vetohishomestead.

WegettotheSimel
anehomesteadandfi
ndt
hem
al
readyonthei
rwaytot
hehallwheret
heser
vicei
s
goingtobeheld.Weallgett
here.Mabuthoushers
ustothesecondr owwherewesettledown,the
thi
rdrowisempt y.Wonderwhowillbesit
ti
ngther
e.

Theser vicecommencesandj ustast heycal lthe

secondspeaker ,everyonet ur
nt heirheadt ol
ookat
thedoor .Ialsotur nandseet heZul ur oyalsmaki ng
theirin.manyoft hepeopl estandup, ment akeoff
theirhat sandwomenbow.Theycomeandsi ton
ther owbehi ndus.Af tersettl
ingdownt heser vice
finall
ycont i
nues.Dr ama.Theycal lMabut hoand
Thobekat othefront.Thobekai sthefirstonet o
taket hemi c.Shei swearingabl acksuitandyou
cant ellthatshei sshi el
dingal lheremot ions.

Thobeka:“ Zamokuhl
ewasl ikeanolderbrot
herto
me.Het ookmeunderhiswi ngwhenIf ir
stj
oined
theDi bbersAgencyfami
ly.Hetrai
nedmeand
basicallymademet hepersonIam today.Wor ki
ng
forMi ssCelewasnotourfirstt
imewor ki
ng
togetherbutitwasdefi
nit
elythebest.Hewas
nat
ural
lyabubbl
yper
sonbutdur
ingt
hepastf
ew
monthshebecamebubbl
ier
.”

“Wenevert houghthewouldset t
ledownbecause
theZamohweal lknewandl ovedwasanat ural
bornplayer.Whenhef oundhisloveitwasl i
kehe
wasbor nagain.Hehadt hi
sunexplainableglow.He
wasal wayshappyandhewoul dlit
eral
lylosehis
mindwhenhi sheartwasn’
tspeakingtohi m.It
warmsourhear t
stoknowt hathehasl eftapartof
him behi
ndt hatwewi l
lal
waysber emindedofhi m
whenwel ookatit
.RestinPowerMagut shwa.”

Mabutho:“wehaveknowneachot herformor et
han
10years.Weat t
endedhighschooltoget her
.We
sharedmostthings.Weevensharedt hesame
dream ofworki
ngf orabodyguar
dcompany.I t
becamear eali
tywhenwewer ebot hhired.”

“Hewasanat
uralj
okerandIhadgott
enusedto
havi
nghi
m ar
ound.WhenMi ssCel
ehiredus,
we
weresohappyt hatwewi l
lspendmostofourt ime
together.AsThobekahasment i
oned,thepastfew
mont hshavebeenabl ast
.Whenhet oldmet hathe
hadf oundawomanwhom hewant stospendt he
restofhisli
fewit
hIjustrol
ledmyeyesandsai d
‘
anotherone’,l
it
tl
edidIknowt hatt
hisonewasi t
.”

“Iam j
ustsadt hathediedwi t
houtwi fi
ngher
becauset hatwasi nhisplans.Hef ellheadover
heelsi
nl ovewi thMpumiandi tmademehappyt hat
hewasqui t
tinghisplayfulwaysandcommi t
ti
ngt o
onewoman.Thepeopl ewhodi dthis,
”helooks
downandcl earshisthroat,“
Justicewi l
lbeserved
forbafo.RestinPeaceLokot hwayo, Phangode
kankosi.
”Theygobackt otheirseats.

It’
sagreatser vi
ce.Peopl
ear espeakingsohighlyof
him.Somear eevenmaki ngjokes.It
’snotafuneral
,
ratheracelebrat
ion.Hisbossf r
om DibbersAgency
talkssohighlyofhim.Wel aughwhenhet al
ks
aboutthetimesZamohandMabut hohavepranked
him.Hissi
bli
ngsalsotaket
hestage.Theyarea
l
itt
leemoti
onalbutIguesstheyar
econsoledbythe
wholeenvi
ronmentwhichiscomfort
ing.Whenthey
aredone,t
heMCcal l
sme.Igot othestage
accompaniedbyKuhle.

Me:“ ever
ythingever
yonehadsai dtoday,Ihave
witnessedit.Zamokuhlewasagr eatguy.Good
l
istenerandbadadvi cegiver
.”Ihearafewchuckles.
“Hehadhi spr of
essi
onalmoment sbuthewasj ust
himselfmostoft heti
me.He, MabuthoandThobeka
wer emoret hanmyempl oyees.Theyweref ami
ly.
”

“Onourover seast
ri
pshewoul dalwaysspeakZul u
topeopleheknewver ywellcouldn’tunderst
andit.
OnSat urdayIhadabaddr eam andmymoodwas
j
ustsomberf r
om t
hebeginningoft heday.He
suggestedthatwegot ouShakaMar ineforafun
day,thengoshoppingafterthatgoseeamovi e.
”I
clearmyt hr
oat.
“Hewasver yexcit
edaboutdr i
vingthebeast .Sur
e
wehadconnect edbefor ebutont hatdayi twas
dif
fer
ent.Hetoldmeal otabouthimsel f
.Hewashi s
usualfunself
.Weevent ookal otofvideost oget
her
whichtheywillpl
ayafterIsitdown.Resti nPeace
Zamoh.Youwi l
lal
waysbel ovedandmi ssed
dearl
y.”Ibr
eatheoutl
oudandgosi tdown.

Theyplaythevideosandsomecr ywhil
eot her
s
l
augh.Hewassi ngi
ngandot herhewast alki
ng
abouthowmuchhel ovesMpumi .Onanot herhe
wastalki
ngabouthowmuchhel oveshisfamily
andwhathei sstil
lgoi
ngt odoforthem.Theyf i
nish
pl
ayingthevideosandt heservi
cecomest oanend.
Peoplepreparetomovet othecemetery.Weal l
moveout si
de.KuhleandIgot owher ehisfamil
yis
at.Weexchangegr eet
ings.

MaShezi
:“howar eyoufeeli
ngmakoti
?”sheand
MaMolef
ear etheonlywiveswhocameandIam
genui
nel
ygratefulf
orthei
rsuppor
t.
Me:“aboutZamohIam st il
lsadbuteveryt
hing
happensforareason.Icanbeangr yatthe
ancestor
sfornotprot
ectinghim buti
t’
snouse
becauseheisgone.Iwillbeokayast i
megoesby.
Iti
sjustgoi
ngtobewei rdwithouthim att
he
house.”

MaMolefe:“
weunder standhowyouf eel.I
fyou
needanyadviceorjusttotal
k,youknowwher eto
fi
ndus.”Ismil
e.“Youdoknowt hatyouar enot
al
lowedtogot ot
hecemet ery?”Isigh.Konje.
Mabuthocomest owher ewear estanding.

Me:“pl
easet
aket hebouquetIboughtandgowithi
t
tot
hecemetery.Youcantakethecar.Youwil
lfi
nd
usatZamoh’
shome. ”
Mpumi:“
am Ial
lowedt
ogo?
”sheasksi
nasmal
l
voi
ce.
Me:“ofcour
se.Youar
efami
ly.Saygoodbyetohi
m
forme.Mabuthogowit
hher
.”Theybothheadtot
he
car.
Sbo:“okay,l
et’
sgoeat
.”Ir
ollmyeyesandhe
chuckles.

Weheadbackt otheSimelanehousehold.My
fri
endsandf ami l
yalsocame.Dadwasf ondof
ZamohsoIam notsur pri
sedthathecame.Weget
toZamoh’ shomeandi tseemsl i
ketheywere
alr
eadywai t
ingf orus.Wewashourhandsandwe
areledtoapr ivatemarque.Discri
minat
ionevenina
funeralbahl
alibutIguessIshoul dgetusedtothe
factthatmyf atheri
nlawi snonor malman.Heis
theekingoftheZul ukingdom.

Noma:“ar
eapplicati
onsfort
hesixt
hwifeopened
myking?BecauseIcouldgetusedtot
hiski
ndof
t
reat
ment.”Weal ll
augh.
King:“wouldyouqui
tyourj
obandcomel
ivei
nthe
palacewithme?”
Noma:“ comeonman.Youhave5wi vesli
vingwi
th
youalready.Iwoul
dbet hecit
ywi
fewhocomesin
ceremoniesandcertai
nweekendsbr
ingi
ngsweet
s
forthekids.
”Theki
ngl aughs.
Kuhl
e:“
stopmaki
ngusl
aughNomal
anga.
”

Noma:“Zamohwould’
vewant
edustobehaveli
ke
t
hisinhi
sfuner
al.Hewoul
dn’
twantuscr
ying
f
orever
.”
Lee:“tr
uethat
.Andhewoul dalsowantust odri
nka
l
ot .
”Xoli
,ZahandKwenttot hecemetery.Ifr
own
whenIseewai ter
scomingwi t
hstart
erstous.Five
startr
eatmentneh?Got
talovetravel
li
ngwi t
h
royalt
y.

Peoplecomebackf rom thecemeter

yandt heystar
t
servi
ngfood.Theycomet oourmarquewi t
h
servi
ngdishes.Whent heyareabouttodish,Sbo
stopsthem andtel
lsthem thatwewil
ldishfor
oursel
ves.MaMolef
edishesforherself
,her
husbandandsist
erwife.Kuhledi
shesupf ort
he
bothofuswhil
eeveryonedishesupf orthemselves.
Myf amil
yandfri
endsalsojoi
nusint hemar que.
KaMakhobacomest othemar quewithMpumi .I
st
andupandmeett hem halfway.

KaMakhoba:“
youshoul
dn’tbemovi
ngupanddown
l
iket
his.Youwon’
theal
.”
Kuhle:“
pleasetel
lhermama.”Igi
vehi
ma
thr
eateni
ngl ookandhej
ustchuckl
esandgoes
backtohisfood.

KaMakhoba:“Iwanttothankyouforcoming.
Most
lyIfeelhonoredtohavetheZuluroyalsat
tend
myson’sfuneral
.NowIknowhowi mportanthe
wastootherpeopleandhowmuchofani mpacthe
madetopeople’sl
ives.
”Thekingstandsup.

Ki
ng:
“hewasagoodboypl
ushedi
edpr
otect
ing
oneofourown.Wewil
lfor
everbei
ndebt
edtothi
s
fami
ly.
”Zamoh’smot
hergivesaweaksmil
e.

KaMakhoba:“ hepreparedmef orthi

s.Heal ways
toldmet hatifhedi essavingorpr ot
ecti
nghi sboss
Ishoul dn’twor r
ybecausehewoul dbeinpeace
knowi ngt hathisbossi swellandsaf e.
”If eelt
ears
fall
ingonmycheeksandIqui ckl
ywi pethem.
“Anywayst hanksagai nforcomi ngandt ravelsaf
ely
justincaseIdon’ tseeyouf orthesecondt i
me.”
Shel eaveswi thMpumi .Iguesst heyarebest
fri
endsnow.Wesi tdown.

Lee:“
whoi
sthel
it
tl
egi
rl
?”
Me:“
Zamoh’
sgi
rl
fr
iend.
”
Xol
i:“
shei
ssohumbl
eanddownt
oear
th.
”

Me:“
youknowher
?”shenods.
Xol
i:“
weevenhungoutacoupl
eoft
imes.
”
Me:“
mmm.
”
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
19] :CHAPTER78

*
**STHABI
LEGCABA*
**
It
’sTuesdayni ghtandIam al onei nmycel l
.We
wer edeniedbai lyester
day.Mainlybecauseno
moneywaspost ed.Apparent
lytherewasnomoney
i
nal louraccount s,
evenNqobi l
e.Iregretmy
decisions.IwishIcoul dturnbackt heclock.What
pissesmeof fthemosti sthatourmi ssionf ai
led
andnowIam l ockedupi nhereforIdon’ tknowhow
l
ong.

IguessIshoul dbehappyt hatIam notshar i

nga
cellwit
hanyonebutt hispl
acei screepy.Whent hey
switchofftheli
ght,theonlyl ightthatli
ght supi s
theonecomi ngfrom t hewindowwhi chist he
moonl i
ght.Myparent sdidn’tbot hercomi ngt ovisi
t
meoranyonef orthatmat t
er .Iam sur ethatf at
bimboi swait
ingforat i
met ocomeandgl oatinmy
face.

Iam luckybecauseKuhl edoesn’tbeli

evei naneye
foraneyeorel seIwoul dbesi xf
eetunder .Al
soI
am prettysurethereasonIam stil
lalivei sthatIam
themot herofhiskids.Otherthanthat,Iam pr ett
y
surethewhal ewoul d’
veorderedmyhi tandhe
would’vejumpedwi thoutevenquestioni ngher.I
nowknowhowmuchhel ovesherandt herewi l
l
neverbeaSt haandKuhl e.Idest
royedever yt
hing
formysel fandIregreti
t.
Somet hi
ngtellsmetosi tupandIdo.Theyhaven’ t
switchedofftheli
ghts.Thereissomeonewhoi s
st
andi ngnearthedoor.Hei swearingbl oody
cl
othes.Godpl easedon’ttel
lmet hisiswhatIt hi
nk
i
tis.Iam beinghaunted.Hesmi lesandl ooks
st
raightint
omyeyes.Hi seyesaret earyandar eful
l
ofsadness.

Man:“doyouknowwhoIam? ”Ishakemyhead.I
am alr
eadybreat
hingabnormally.Iam scaredto
deathri
ghtnow.Hetakest wost epsf
urtherint
othe
room andl
ooksaroundt henhiseyesfindmi ne
agai
n.“Useyourwords.”Iswallowhard.
Me:“
Idon’
tknowyou.
”hechuckl
es.

Man:“ myl i
fewasf i
nall
ycomi ngtoget
her
.Iquitmy
playerwaysbecauseIhadf oundmysoulmat e.To
maket hi
ngsgr eater
,sheiscar r
yingmyheiror
heiress.ANDYOUFUCKI NGTOOKTHATAWAY
FROM ME! ”hislasttonemakesmej umpupi nfear
.
Iam notst andingbyt hewindowandhei sinthe
middl
eoft
her
oom.“WHY?WHYDI
DYOUTAKEI
T
AWAYFROM ME?!
”

Me:“Idon’tknowwhoyouare.Whywoul
dImake
yousufferwhenIdon’
tknowwhoyouare?”he
chuckl
esandshakeshishead.
Man:“
stoppatroni
zingme.Youhavesur el
yseen
meonceort wi
ceinyourli
fe.Don’tbeignorant
.”I
l
ookclosel
yandIinstant
lyrecognizehim.OMG!He
i
sthebimbo’sdri
ver.I
fheisherehaunt i
ngme, that
meanshediedinsteadofthebimbo.

Me:“i
twasami st
ake.Youwer en’
tsupposedtodi
e.
Youbroughtt
histoyoursel
f.Youcoul
d’vejumped
outoft
hecar.”Helaughsandwi t
hinabli
nkofan
eyeheisri
ghtinf
rontofme.

Man:“
Iwantyout ohityourheadint
hewal l
r
epeat
edlyuntilyoutakeyourlastbr
eat
h.”Ishake
myhead.“Icoulddot histheeasywayorthehard
way.Ifyoudon’tdoitnow, Iwi
llhauntyoudayand
nightunti
lyoueventual
lytakeyourli
fe.Bet
ternow
thannever.”HeplaceshishandonmycheekandI
scream whenIfeelmyheadcol li
dingwitht
hewall.
“Thereyougo.Nowcont inue.”

“Whi leatit,t
hinkaboutyourmiserablel
if
e.Youar e
nott hatspecial.Soonyouwi l
lbetransf
erredtoa
cellfullofthir
styfemalealphaswhowi l
lwantt o
rapeyouandmakeyout heirbi
tch.Youhave
crossedsomanypeopl einyourlif
ebefore.Youare
betterof fdead.Futhywil
lbeamuchbet termother
thanyouwi lleverbe.
”

Me:“STOP!”Ihi
tmyheadonthewal
lrepeat
edl
y
unt
ilIhearmyskul
lcr
acki
ng.

Man:“youarenearl
ythere.Thi
nkaboutyour
cousi
ns.Theyarealr
eadyhavingaf iel
ddayabout
youbeinghere.Themediaiswrit
ingal lsor
tsof
thi
ngsaboutyou.Call
ingyouawi tch,Ievenheard
thatthepri
nceispl
anni
ngonhosti
ngapr ess
conferencewherehei
sgoi
ngtotalkaboutthe
reasonwhyyouguysdivor
ced.Yourli
fei
sover.
Youar eusel
essnow.Youarenot
hing.
”

Ibangmyheadagai nmor ethaneverunt i

lIfeel
myselfgett
ingweak.WhenIam aboutt ogodown,
thi
smangr absmyheadandcont inuesbangi ngi t
onthewal l
.Ihavenovoi cetoscream.Iam j ust
sil
entl
yprayingthatIatleastbeagoodguar dian
angeltomyki ds.AmahleandZwel iIam sorryfor
howIlivedmyl if
e.Iloveyousomuchdon’ tf
or get
that
.Iclosemyeyesandt henIfeelmysoulsl owly
l
eavingme.Thi sistheendofSt habileGcaba.Ki l
led
byaghostt hatIindi
rectl
ykil
led.
.
.
*
**NQOBI
LEMTHI
YANE*
**
Iam sofrustr
atedandpissed.Somanyanger
emotionsaregoingthr
oughmymi nd.Iwishedwe
coul
d’vejusthir
edahitmant otakeoutthestupi
d
Futhyi
nsteadofalousyaccidentwhi
chleftherwith
afewscars.Maybethekidnappingpl
anwoul d’ve
beenbett
erbecauseevenifwewer ecaught,atthe
endofthedayshewoul d’
vedied.

Myhat ef orherstart
edwaybacki nourfi
rstyear.
Shewasnat urall
yasmar tgi
rl
.Sheandherf ri
ends
part
iedal mosteveryweekendbutshewoul dn’t
misscl assesordeadlinesandshewouldal ways
part
icipateinclass.Sheknewhowt obalance
everyt
hi nginherlif
e.Shewasaf avour
it
et omost
l
ecturersandt hatannoyedmet othecore.

Ihadasi ll
ycrushonLethukut
hulaHl ongwaandI
wasshat ter
edwhenIsawhowcl oset heygrewover
theyears.Shehasmanagedt obet hecenterof
att
enti
onwher evershegoes.Ihateherwi t
hevery
fi
berinmybei ng.Whatmakesmat t
erswor sei
sthat
myf amilysometimescomparemet oher.

Ihaveacompanybuti
tisnotassuccessf
ulas
Futhy’
s.IfIdidn’tknowhowdet erminedandgood
sheisatherwor k,Iwould’
vepr obablysaiduthwele.
Ihavetri
edsabot agi
ngherf orasmanyt i
mesasI
couldrememberi nthepastbutsomehowmypl ans
al
waysbackf i
red.Shei sn’
tonlyconsideredthebest
i
nSout hAf r
icabuti nthewhol econtinent
.

Iam sureshehadahandi nmyf undsbeingdri

ed
up.It
’sonl yamatt
eroft imebeforesomeonebuys
mycompanybecausei tissi
nking.Ther
ear eabout
10per manentworkers.Whenwear econstruct
ing,
weareal wayshir
ingpar tti
meconst r
ucti
onwor ker
s.
Icouldn’tevenaf
fordal awyerandmyf amily
ref
usedt ohelpbecauset heyarefedupaboutmy
obsessionwi t
hFuthy.

Onethi
ngseemst obegoingwellinmylif
e.Ihavea
si
nglecel
l,
event houghitst
inksli
kei
t’
sasl aught
er
housebutatleastIhavepri
vacy.Iwonderhow
Donnaisdoing.Iam ashamedofhavingdragged
heri
ntothi
sbutshei smyr i
deordieandsheswor e
t
ost
ickwi
thmet
hrought
hickandt
hin.

Thedooropensandaguar dget
sin.sheismuch
fr
iendl
yt ome.Maybeshet hi
nksIhavemoneyor
something.Sheiscar
ryingaburgerwit
hfri
esanda
glassofwine.Shesmilesandhandsittome.

Guar
d:“
thi
sisr
oyalt
reat
ment
.Don’
tgetusedt
oit
.”
Idon’
tevenwai tforhertosaymor e.It
akethefood
anddigininstantl
y.I
t’
sbeensol ongsinceIhad
normalfood.Ifi
nishwithi
naf ewmi nut
esanddown
myglassofwi neononego.Shet akestheutensi
ls
andgetsout.Ilieonthebedandf acetheceil
ing.
Fewmi nuteslat
erthedooropensandIsi tup.

Me:“youbroughtmedeser t
?”Igetnoresponse.I
fr
ownwhenIseet hekingoftheZuluki
ngdom and
Futhy’
sfat
herenteringmycell.NowIam indeep
shit
.WhatwasIt hinki
ngmessi ngwi
tharoyal
fi
ancé?Theybroughtchair
s.Theysitopposi
temy
bedandt
heyseem r
elaxed.“
Greet
ings.
”

Futhy’
sdad:“wearenothereforapet
ty
conversat
ion.Gi
veitafewminutest
okicki
n.”I
fr
own.Whati shetalki
ngabout?

Isitsti
llonthebed.Iam soner vousrightnow.Iam
shakingl i
keal eaf.Idon’ tknowwhatt hesemen
wantf r
om me.OkayImayhaveani dea.Imessed
withtheirdaught er,probablytheyareheret oki
llme.
Butwhyar etheysor elaxed?Theyar ehavinga
conversationbutnott ool oudformet ohearwhat
theyaresayi ng.

Ifeelai rl
eavingmyl ungsandIam f ail
ingt
o
breathe.Whati shappeningtome?Igaspf orair
andi tseemsl i
keIam maki ngmatt
er sworse.Itr
y
speaki ngbuti tseemsli
kewor dsarestuckinmy
throat.Ifeelanur getothrowupandIcan’ tstopit
.I
vomi tont hefloorandtearsstr
eam downmy
cheekswhenIseet hatIam throwi
ngupbl ood
mi
xedwi
thwhatIat
e.Whatdi
dthesemendot
ome?

Futhy’
sdad:“NtombifuthiCeledidnotbi r
thhersel
f.
Sheismysper m.Shei smydaught er.Youmess
withwhat’
smi neandIr etal
iatenotwell.I
nyour
nextli
fe,
stayawayf r
om mydaught erandl ear
nt o
fendforyour
selfl
ikeshedi d.”hestandsup.

King:“younear l
ykil
ledthefutureofmyki ngdom
andf orthatpassmyr egardstoLuci f
er.
”Heal so
standsupandt heyheadout .Thesemenpoi soned
me.Ikeeponvomi t
ingunti
lIcanl i
teral
lyfeelmy
i
nt est
inesroll
ing.Il
osebalanceandf al
lonmyown
vomi t
.Ihavenopowert ostandup.Icanf eelmy
soulleavingmybody.WhatwasIt hinki
ng?
.
.
*
**LANDI
LE*
**
ThesecondPAwarnedmebutIchosetobe
i
gnorantandl
ist
ent
oawhit
ewoman’ sadvi
ce.Now
Iam l
ockedupinthi
slonelycel
l.Myparentshadso
manyhopesforme.Everyoneknowsthatwhenyou
gethi
redatDCCyouwor kyourwayup, youdon’
t
endupbeingjustaconst
ructi
onworkerforther
est
ofyourl
if
e.

Futhyisaver ykindwoman.Shewasi mpr essedby

awor kIdidinat woroom t
hatIbuil
tformyyounger
sibl
ings.Idon’tevenknowwher eshewascomi ng
fr
om.Shej usttoldmet obri
ngmyCVonMonday
butthatwasj ustaf or
malit
y.Shedidn’tevenlookat
i
t.Shet ol
dherPAt otakemet otheHRdepar t
ment
tosignmycont ract
.

IknowIam probablyungratef
ulbutDonnaand
Nqobil
epromisedmemyownconst ructi
on
companyandt heyhavebeenpayingmeR50000a
monthforthepast2mont hsandthat’sal otf
rom
whatIearnedatDCC.Iwi l
lfor
everregretchoosing
moneyoverloyalt
y.Ithascostmemyf reedom and
mylif
e.
Threemenmaket hei
rwayi nmycel l
.Theydon’
t
askquestions.Twooft hem justgrabmeandpi n
meont hewal l.Theot heronewhoseemsol der
takesoutakni fe.Hel ooksati tl
ikeit
’saworkofart
andfastli
kelight ninghest absmeonmyst omach.
Hedoest hisrepeat edlyuntilhefeelsli
kei
t’
s
enough.

Oldman:“ t
henamei sBr
aChi l
i.Youtookmyson
awayf rom meandnowyouar egoi ngt
of ol
low
him.”hest absmeagainbutthistimeit
’sinthe
chest.Ijustfeelmybodygi
vingi nandItakemy
l
astbr eath.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
SPONSOREDCHAPTER
[
03/
09,
08:
20] :CHAPTER79

‘
FORMERPRINCESSOFTHEZULUKI NGDOM WHO
WASINCUSTODYFORTHEMURDEROF
ZAMOKUHLESIMELANEANDATTEMPTED
MURDEROFNTOMBI FUTHICELEWASFOUND
DEADINHERCELLINTHEEARLYHOURSOFTHE
MORNING.THEGUARDSTHATFOUNDHER
SUSPECTTHATSHEBANGEDHERSELFI NTHE
WALLUNTILSHETOOKHERLASTBREATH. ’

‘
BUSINESSWOMANNQOBILEMTHIYANEWAS
FOUNDLYINGINHEROWNPOOLOFBLOODI N
HERCELLINTHEMORNING.I
NVESTI
GATIONS
ABOUTHERDEATHARESTILLPENDING.THE
POLI
CEDON’TKNOW WHATSEEMEDTOBETHE
CAUSEOFIT.
’
‘
FORMEREMPLOYEEOFDUBANDLELA
CONSTRUCTI
ONCOMPANY,LANDI
LENSELEWAS
FOUNDDEADI NHI
SCELLWITHMULTIPLESTAB
WOUNDS.ITI
SSUSPECTEDTHATI
TWASONEOF
THEINMATESWHOATTACKEDHIM AFTERAN
ARGUMENT.’

Me:“wowt heseheadlinesarescary.Imeanhow
canSthabi
lebangher selfi
nthewal l
?ButIam glad
theyar
edead.Probabl ythepeoplewhoki l
ledt
hem
arecomingforSthandiweandDonna. ”Hechuckl
es.
Kuhl
e:“
howisyourar
m andleg?
”Il
ookathi
m wi
th
myheadcockedt
otheside.

Me:“Ar
en’
tyougoi
ngt
ocr
yoveryourdeadex?
”he
l
aughs.
Kuhle:“
shewantedyoudead.Myi nnerselfreal
ly
wishedtoki
llherbutIcoul
dn’tbecauseIdi dn’
t
wannalivewit
hguiltofki
ll
ingthemot herofmy
chi
ldr
enbutwhoeverdid,
didusal
lahugefavour
.
Theworldi
sabetterpl
acewit
houtaconni
ving
snakeli
keher
.”

Me:“
YAY!You’
reoverher
.”
Kuhl
e:“
fuckyou.
”
Me:“butthat
’syourdepartment.Il
oveitmorewhen
youpinmeagai nstthewallandshoveyourdick
deepinsi
demeunt i
lIfeel
li
kemyi ntest
inesar
e
tur
ning.
”Hegr oans.

Kuhl
e:“
whatam Igoi
ngt
odowi
thyou?
”Igi
ggl
e.
Me:“
fuckme.
”
Kuhl
e:“
aft
erwegetr
idoft
hecast
.”
Me:“butIam mi
ssi
ngyoubei
ngi
nsi
deofme.Have
mercybaby.
”Helaughs.

Kuhl
e:“
Iam nott
aki
nganychances.
”
Me:“youar esuchabor e.
”Isayandst andup.Iput
onmygownandgot ot hebalcony.Thereis
somet hingaboutthemor ningbreezethatjust
makesever ythingokay,especial
lywheni ti
smi xed
withtheseabr eeze.Heal socomest othebalcony
andhol dsmef rom behind.“Wherearewegoi ngt o
stayaftergett
ingmar r
ied? ”

Kuhle:“
myhouse.Unl
essyouar
enotcomf
ort
abl
e
t
here.”Ismi
le.
Me:“themainbedroom willneedsomerenovat
ions
keorredecorat
ingbecauseIdon’twantanytr
aceof
thedeadwitch.
”Hegi ggl
es.
Kuhl
e:“
Iloveyousomuch.
”Ismi
le.
Me:“
notasmuchasIl
oveyou.
”

Kuhl
e:“sowearepost
poningumkhehl
o?”Isi
gh.I
hadt
otall
yfor
gott
enaboutit
.
Me:“i
fmylegisgoodbynextweekt
henwear
e
cont
inui
ngwit
hit.
”
Kuhl
e:“lovenextweeki
sthe28t
handt
hatwast
he
dat
e.”Icurseundermybreat
h.

Me:“okay.6Mar
chthenbaby.Oneweek
post
ponementcan’
tdomuchhar m.
”
Kuhle:“Iwillt
alktodadandhearwhathehast osay
butithast obeont he6thwecan’ tpostponeit
furt
herbecausei tmightint
erfer
ewi t
htheweddi ng.
Howar efarar ethetwinswiththeplanning?”Ilaugh.
Hecal l
sLondekaMnguniandDakot aMul l
erof
ElegancyPl annersbecausetheyarethesameage,
samehei ghtandbasi cal
lythesameper son
becauset heyevenf i
nisheachother’
ssent ences.

Me:“ everyt
hingi sinor
der .Theyhaveeverythi
ng
undercont rol.Thosekidsar epr
ofessi
onalbabeand
theyar edefinit
ionofperfecti
on.Ij
ustneedt oget
dressesf ortheceremonies.Iam stil
lnotfeeli
ngthe
tradi
tionalwhi t
edress.Iwast hi
nkinggoldorblush
butIhaven’ tdecided.
”
Kuhle:“
what
everyouwantmyl
ove.I
t’
syour
weddingsoyouareper
mitt
edt
odowhateveryou
l
ike.
”
Me:“
yay!
”Ir
aisemyhandsi
ntheai
r.Hegi
ggl
es.
Kuhl
e:“
let
’sgoshowersot
hatIcanf
eedyou.
”I
smil
eandturnt
olookathi
m.

Me:“
youar
esohandsome.
”
Kuhl
e:“
Iknow,
right
?”hewi
ggl
eshi
seyebr
owsand
Ij
ustl
augh.
.
.

Aftereatingandshower i
ngIgetdressedina
halterneckfl
oraldr
essandbl acksli
ders.Mamiisi
n
townsoImustmeetupwi t
hherandt alkaboutmy
dresses.Maybeshewi l
lhelpmedeci dewhichcol
or
Ishoul dchooseformydr ess.Iopenmysi de
drawert otakeoutmywat chandIsmi l
ewhenIsee
agi ftbox.I
t’
sadomi neeri
nglionkingpendant925
st
erl
ingsi
lverwhi
chIboughtf
orKuhl
e.

Kuhle:“
aret
hoseourweddi ngrings?
”hesays
butt
oninghi
soli
vegreenshi r
t.Heisalsowear
ing
cott
onshort
sandtakkies.Ichuckleandhanditt
o
him.
Me:“i
t’
syours.Openi
t.
”Hesmil
esandopensit
.His
eyespopoutwhenheseeswhat’
sinsi
de.Het
urns
i
ttotheot
herside.

Kuhle:“
yoursforever
,Fuhle.
”Helooksatme.“Thi
s
i
sbeaut i
fulbaby.Thankyousomuch. ”Hecupsmy
faceandgivesmeabr eat
htaki
ngkiss.Ibl
ushwhen
hebreaksit.
Me:“
you’
rewel
come.
”Heput
siton.
Kuhl
e:“
fi
tsl
ikeagl
ove.
”
Me:“
sui
tabl
eforaki
ng.
”

Kuhl
e:“
it
’sper
fect
.Thankyouagai
nbaby.Idon’
t
knowhowt
othankyou.
”
Me:“
justkeeponl
ovi
ngMe.
”hesmi
les.
Kuhl
e:“
youcanbetont
hat
.”
.
.
WemeetMamiatar estaurantnearDCC.Kuhl e
wentonabout i
quewi thhisgroomsmeni nsearch
ofthei
rsui
ts.Wef i
rstsitandor derbecauseIhavea
veryhugeappeti
tethesedays.Let ’sjustsayIlove
foodverymuchbutIam per mittedto.

Mami
:“sowhatki
ndofadr
essar
eyoul
ooki
ngf
or?
”
Me:“forumembesoIwantanudeandbl ackbel
ow
thekneefl
aredresswithamatchi
ngscarfj
ustf
or
contr
olbecausetheyareyett
ogivemeadoek.”I
showherthepicture.

Mami:“
thi
sisdoabl
e.Al
soitwil
lbeper
fecti
fyou
don’
twannashowyourbump.”
Me:“
umembesoi
sint
woweeks.
”
Mami
:“don’
twor
ry.Iwi
llbedonebyt
hen.
”

Me:“formyt r
adit
ionalweddingdress,Ineeda
yell
owSwat ii
nspiredoffshoul
derballgownwi tha
matchinginhl
oko.Samet opfabri
cf orthe
bri
desmaidsandt heflowergir
lsbutthebot t
om
fabri
cforthem mustbesi l
korthestretchi
ngone.
Youwi l
lseenawe.”Ishowhert hepictures.She
l
aughs.

Mami:“
okay.Thi
sisbeauti
ful
.Iwi
llneed
measur
ementsforever
yone.”
Me:“myof
fi
ceisnearby.Wecangotake
measur
ementst
here.Plusabr
idesmai
dist
her
e.”

Weset tl
ethebillandthenwal
ktoDCC.Itell
LindsaytosendZaht omyof f
iceandthenwehead
there.Shetakesmymeasur ementsandthenwe
waitforZah.ItextLeeandNomat orushtomy
off
icesothatthei
rmeasurementscanalsobetaken.
Ial
socallXoli
.ThandoisXoli
’
ssizesoshewill
measureforthebothofthem.Shewon’tbe
emkhehlwenibutshewil
lbeherefort
hewedding.

Lee:“youknowtherei
ssomet hi
ngcal
ledpri
or
noti
ce.YouareluckyIdi
dn’
thaveanappointment
.”
Shesaysmaki ngherwayinfoll
owedbyNoma.
Noma:“Ij
ustcameoutofcour
t.Ialsohavean
appear
anceinanhour.Canwepleasemakethis
qui
ck?”Ir
ollmyeyes.

Me:“wewer
ejustwai
ti
ngf
oryou.
”Mamit
akest
hei
r
measur
ements.
Noma:“ asthemaidofhonorswedemandmer mai
d
dressesthatwi
llshowoffourbehi
ndbecause
honeywehavebeendoi ngsquatstoenhance
them.”welaugh.

Me:“
onyourweddi
ngdear
,notonmi
ne.
”
Lee:“babesbei
ngabr
idezi
ll
adoesn’
tsui
tyou.Don’
t
star
tnow. ”
Me:“andbei
nganor malguestonmyweddi
ng
doesn’
tsui
tyou.Don’
tmakemechangemymi nd.
”
Noma:“
youar
esowr
ong.
”

Me:“
youcanhavematchi
ngmermai
ddr
essesf
or
umembesobutnott
heweddi
ng.
”
Noma:“great
.Wehavetheseper
fectpi
ctur
es.”She
opensherphoneandshowsMamisomepi ctures.
Mami :“pl
easedosendt
hem t
omei
fumakot
i
doesn’tmind.
”

Zah:“
youhear
dherdear
.Shedoesn’
tmi
nd.
”Il
augh
andshakemyhead.
Me:“l
etmetransferyourmoneyrightnowsothat
ever
ythi
ngcanbei norder
.”Itr
ansferthemoney.
Shesayshergoodbyesandt henleaves.“
SoBo
Misspri
ornoti
ce,Dakotahassetupan
appoi
ntmentforFri
daysothatwecangoandcheck
outbri
desmaiddresses.Don’tbelate.Shewi
llsend
youthelocat
ionandtimelatertoday.”

Noma:“
thankyou.
”
Lee:“sonobodyisgoingtotal
kaboutt
het
hree
deathsthathappenedlastni
ght
.”
Me:“what
’st
her
etot
alkabout
?Theyar
edead.Li
fe
goeson.
”
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
20] :CHAPTER80
Todaywear ef etchingumkhontofrom thepal
ace.
I
t ’
sSundaymor ning.Iam gladt
hatthedoctorgave
meagr eenli
ghtonmyl egandar m andshealso
tookthecastsof f.Myinjuri
eshavesomehow
recoveredevent houghIhavescratcheshereand
there.

Imetupwi t
hZamoh’ smom andMpumiaweekago.
Imadeanagr eementwi t
hthem.SinceZamohwas
earni
ngR15000, Ipl annedtogivethem R7500each
foratleast10years.KaMakhobawashappyabout
thearrangementandal soMpumi .Butwit
hMpumi
weagr eedthatIwillgiveherR2000f ornowand
thenaddR3000af tert hebabyisborn.Iwillbe
putti
ngR2500i nat rustfundforthebaby’s
education.

Somepeopl esai
dIwast heonewhobewi tched
Sthabi
leint
okil
li
ngherselfbecauseshewasn’ tthe
personwhocouldjustharm herself
.Ilaughedt he
accusati
onsoffbecausetheywer ejustcrazy.
Sthandi
weandDonnahavegonecr azythi
nki
ngthat
someoneisgoi
ngtocomeafterthem si
ncetheyare
theoneswhoarel
eft
.It
’samusingreall
ybutli
fe
mustgoon.

Ivomitfort hesecondtimethismor ning.Ir

eall
y
hatemor ningsicknesses.Theyst
ar tedaweekago.
Iwantedt ogot oadoct orwhowillhelpmewi th
somethingt ocoolthem downbutIneverhadt he
ti
me.AnywaysIwashmymout handheadbackt o
myr oom.Iputonmyl i
psti
ckandheadt othe
l
ounge.

Myf riendsandt hemai densareallweari

ngbeaded
skirt
s, sport
sbraswi t
hubuhl al
oandbeadedt ommy
takkies.Iam wear i
ngabl ackbeadedskirt
,whit
e
vestwi thubuhlaloandi zi
mbadada.Ialsohavea
whiteshawlcover i
ngmyshoul ders.Myfri
endsare
wear ingblueskirt
swhilet hemaidensareweari
ng
redski rt
s.
Mom:“ gowellandcomebackwi ththemeat .
”We
al
llaugh.Ihugmypar entsandthenwehead
outside.Theladiesar
eal r
eadysinging.Thisti
me
aroundwear egoingwithonekombif orthe
maidens.Myf r
iendsareridi
nginmyFor t
urner
whileIam ridi
ngmyX1.Ofcour seThobekaand
Mabut hoarewi thme.Mabut hoi
st heonedr i
ving.
Wecl imbinsidethecarsanddr i
veof f
.
.
.
Aft
erthr eehoursofdr ivingwear r
iveatt hepalace.
Wecl i
mbof fthecarsandheadi nsidetheyar d
whil
esi nging.Wear eledi ntothishuger ondavel
whichisbeaut if
ulont hei nsideandont heout si
de.
Therear egrassmat sont hef l
oor.Themai dens
maket hemsel vescomf ort
ableont hemat s.Wellmy
doctormi ghthavegivenmet hegr eenli
ghtbutI
don’tt
hinkIshoul dsitont hefloorjustl
iket hat.

Aft
erafewmomentsNompiloget
sinwi
thAmahl
e.
Sheiscar
ryi
ngaf
luf
fyrug.Shepl
acesi
tni
cel
yon
thefloorandi
ndicat
esthatIsitdown.Igi
ggleand
thensit.Myfr
iendsalsosi
t.Amahl ecomesand
hugsme.Shet henmakesher selfcomfor
tabl
eon
myl ap.

Amahl
e:“
howar
eyoumama?
”If
rown.
Me:“
mama?
”
Amahl
e:“youaredaddy’
swi
fe,
whichmakesyou
mymother.”Ideci
det
oasknofur
therquest
ions.

Me:“
Iam f
inebaby.Howar
eyou?
”
Amahle:“
fi
ne.Ij
ustmissedyou.
”Ihaven’
tseen
them i
ntwoweeksbecausetheywereinSt
habil
e’
s
home.
Me:“
Imi
ssedyout
oobaby.
”

Amahl
e:“sodaddy,
Zwel
iandIar
egoi
ngwi
thyou
whenyouheadbackhome?”
Me:“
nobaby.Butdon’
twor
ry.Youwi
llseemeon
Sat
urdayandt
henwewi
llgoswi
m atmyhouse.
”
Amahl
e:“
yay!
”sheki
ssesmycheekandIgi
ggl
e.
Nompi
lo:“
Mahl
elet
’sgo.
”

Amahle:“
lat
eraunty.St
il
lbondingwi
thmama. ”
Nompilol
aughsandheadsout .Themaidensstar
t
si
ngi
nganddanci ngli
ketherei
snotomor r
ow.
Amahlealsojoi
nsthem butwhensheisti
red,
she
comesbacktomyl ap.

TheelderstogetherwithKuhleandhi sbrot
hers
comeanddowhatneedst obedone.Het henhands
meumkhont o.Itakeit
.Hewi nksatmeandIj ust
blush.Heandhi sfatherhavethiswinkthatmake
womengoweak.Whent heyaredone, t
heyheadout
withAmahlet hi
st i
mear oundbecauset hegir
lis
daddy’sangel.Moment slatermaidscomeand
serveusfood.

Wel
lther
eist
hisZul
utr
adi
ti
ont
hatsaysatyouri
n-
l
awshome, youshouldn’
teatfoodt hatwasgivento
youdirectlybecauseanythi
ngcanhappen.Al soyou
mustn’ttrustanyonewheni tcomest ot hef
ood.So
whenthemai dsservememypl at
e,Ijustwai
tfor
them t
ol eaveandt henIt
radei twithoneofthe
maidens.

Whenwear edoneeating,theyser veust hedr inks.

Thel adi
esgocr azywhentheyseet heal coholand
theystartsingi
nganddanci ngl oudl
y.Iam al ready
feeli
ngdr owsy.Ijustwannat akeashor tmi dday
nap.Anywayst heycomeandputi zi
phandl ainour
wristsfr
om t hegoatstheysl aughteredfort he
ceremony.It hinkthat
’stheendofever ything.

Indeedt heceremonyhascomet oanend,sothe

l
adiest akethedrinksandthemeatt heyar
egiven
andt heystartsi
nging.It
akeumkhont oandhead
outoft hehutwiththem f
ollowi
ngme.Weheadout
ofthepal aceyardandcli
mbi nsidethecar
s.Kuhle
comest othecarandpullsmet ostandup.Hethen
hugsme.Iyawn.

Kuhl
e:“Iam sorr
ybabybutyouar
egoi
ngt
oget
someresti
nt hecarnow.
”
Me:“yah.Atl
east.Somom t
oldmetoaskhow
manypeoplewillbecomi
ngonSatur
day.
”He
l
aughs.
Kuhl
e:“
thewhol
eZulunation.Roughly300+al
so
mybusi
nessassoci
atesandf r
iends.
”

Me:“
wow.Howmanypeopleareactual
lygoi
ngto
cometot
hetr
adi
ti
onalweddi
ng?”helaughsagai
n.
Kuhl
e:“alot.Downsi
deofbeingapri
nce.Ever
yone
wanttowitnesstheweddi
ng.Notj
ustonsocial
mediabutlive.
”
Me:“wil
lthenumberbecont
rol
ledont
hewhi
te
wedding?”hechuckl
es.

Kuhl
e:“
yes.I
twi
llonl
ybef
ami
ly,
fri
endsandsome
busi
nessassoci
ates.
”Ibr
eat
heoutl
oud.
Me:“that’
sbet
ter.Idon’
tthi
nkIam goi
ngtosur
vive
notseeingyouforaweek.”Ist
artget
ti
ngemoti
onal.
Hekissesme.

Kuhl
e:“
holdonbaby.Justafewweeksandafter
t
hatwewillbet
oget
herforever
.”Wehugti
ghtand
t
henhekissesmeagain.“Il
oveyou.
”
Me:“Il
oveyou.
”Icl
imbi
nsi
det
hecarandwedr
ive
of
f.
.
.
Theweekhasbeendr aggi
ngandIhavebeenan
emot i
onalwreckbecauseImi ssKuhlesomuch.My
fr
iendssomet i
meslaughatme.TheysayIam
dramaticbutt heywi
llunderst
andoneday.It
’s
Fri
dayni ghtandpeoplearegoingupanddownl i
ke
i
t’
st heweddi ngday.Mom near l
yfai
ntedwhenIt
old
herthenumberofpeopl ecomingtomorrow.
Ij
usttol
dDakot aandLondekatohir
eacatering
companybecauset herewasnowayIcouldsl ave
myrelat
ivesli
kethat.Thr
eecowswer esl
aught er
ed
j
ustforumkhehlo.Yohbahlal
i.Whentheytel
lyout o
marr
yapr ince,
run,it
’satr
ap.

Anywayst hel
adiesaresingingl oudlyanddanci ng
l
ikenobody’ sbusiness.Myf r
iendsar ealready
drunk.Infacteveryfemaleinmyr oom isdr unk.The
furnit
urewasclear edoutandwear eseat i
ngon
grassmat sandsponges.Wehavei bomvui nour
faceswhi chwear esupposedt ogowashi nthe
mor ningattheri
verbutwewi llgotot hebeach
becausei t’
smucheasi erthere.Myphoner ingsand
Ismi l
ewhenIseewhoi scall
ing.

Me:“
Sthul
iskandaba.
”
Kuhle:“KaMagaye.
”Ibl
ush.“
Howar
eyout
his
evening?”
Me:“
Iam f
ine.Ij
ustcan’
twai
ttoseeyou.
”
Kuhle:“metoomylove.Iam l
it
eral
lycount
ingthe
hours.Amahleal
socan’twai
t.Shehasbeen
pesteri
ngme.Iam j
ustgladshehasf i
nal
lydozed
off
.”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“
isever
ythi
ngsetont
hatsi
de?
”

Kuhl
e:“yes.Wear
ejustgoi
ngt
owakeupand
pr
eparetocomether
e.”
Me:“
howmuchar
eyougoi
ngt
ogi
ftmet
omor
row?
”
Kuhl
e:“
howaboutami
ll
ion?
”Il
augh.

Me:“ t
hat’
stoomuchbabyandhowareyougoi
ngto
pinami l
li
ononablanketoranumbr
ell
a?”t
hel
adi
es
scream whentheyheart
hewordmil
li
on.
Kuhl
e:“
justki
ddi
ng.Iwon’
tment
ioni
t.
”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“
that
’sbet
ter
.Sl
eept
ightandbest
il
landknow
t
hatIl
oveyou.
”
Kuhle:“yazf oramomentt hereIthoughtyouwer e
goingt obreaki nt
oagospelsongandbel i
ke‘be
sti
llandknowt hatIam yourGod’.
”Iburstout
l
aughi ng.Kuhl ehasasoot hi
ngvoicebutwheni t
comest osinging,JehovahIwouldpayhim allmy
milli
onsj usttoshuthim upbecauseheist er
ribl
e.

Me:“
babypl
easel
eavet
hesi
ngi
ngt
ous,
thegi
ft
ed.
”
Kuhle:“
mxm.AnywaysIl oveyoumybabymama
andIcan’twaitt
oseeyout omor
row.Sl
eepwel
land
takecareofourbabi
es.
”
Me:“Il
oveyoumoreandal
sot
akecar
eofour
babi
es.
”Ihangup.
Zah:“youngl
ove.”shesayswhi
lebl
ushi
ngandwe
al
llaughather.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
21] :CHAPTER81
SPONSOREDCHAPTER

Iam wokenupbymom shaki ngme.If rownandsi t

up.WellIam oneofthefewpeoplewhosl ept.The
othersdr
ank,sanganddancedallnightlong.They
alll
ookreadytogobuttheyaredrunk.Anywayswe
takeourstuf
fandweheadout .Theyarest i
ll
singi
ng.Somehavehoar sevoi
cesrightnow.

Wecl i
mbi nt
othecarsanddr i
vetothebeach.We
getthereandbat h.Wowt hewat eri
sverycold.
Neverthelesswebat hquicklyandthenwehead
backtot hecars.Wedr i
vehome.Canyoubel ieve
thesebitches?Theyactuallyaskedforthedri
veto
drivepassKFCsot hatt
heycoul dgetthreebuckets
ofhotwings.Wel
lIendeduprequest
ingawrapsta
boxbecauseIam al
sohungry.Ieati
tinst
ant
ly.

Wegethomeandwegosi tundert het reeandwai t

forGodot .Justki
dding.Wearegoi ngt owai there
unt i
lit
’st
imef orustogetdressedandf orthe
ceremonyt ostar
t.Ial
sohadpeopl ei nstallatent
heresot hatwecangetsomepr ivacy.Mybr others
bringusmat sandblanket
s.Wespr eadt hem ont he
grassandt hensi
tdown.Iam stil
ldr owsysoIj ust
sleep.
.
.
*
**NARRATED*
**
Theguest sstartar
riving.Futhyandherent ourage
startgett
ingdressed.Theyputonmake- upanddo
thefinalt
ouchupsont hei
rlooks.Whent heyare
done, t
heysingast heymaket hei
rwayi nsidethe
yard.Theygot other oom wher etheyhadbeen
stayingatforthewhol eweek.Fut hy’sdadplaces
Umhl wehlweonhershoul dersandt hengiveher
umkhont
o.Heput
sinyongoonherwr
ist
.

Si
yabulel
a:“i
fitmakesyounauseous,justaskf
or
water.
”Futhyl
aughsandnods.Shest andsupand
st
artsasong.‘AZODLALAAMAKHOSIENGOMA
AZODLALA’ Herent
ouragesi
ngsafterher
‘
AMAKHOSIENGOMA, AMAKHOSIENGOMA
AZODLALAAMAKHOSIENGOMA, AYYAMAKHOSI
ENGOMA. ’

Theymaket heirwayout si
deandt ot heplay
groundswhi lesinging.Theygett ot hespotwher e
thewhol ethi
ngwi llbet akingplace.Theyst art
singinganddanci ng.Theguest sstartcrowdingthe
place.Peoplecamei nnumber stowi tnessthis
ceremony.Theygobayohl omaandt heguests
comebackandpi nt hemoneyonanumbr el
la
becauset heyarenotper mi t
tedtopini tonFuthy’
s
hat.It’
sreservedfort hefiancé.Someal sopinthe
moneyonabakhaphiandsomeoft hemai dens.
Whi l
esi nginganddanci ng,theyhearsounds,
peoplesi nging,ulul
ati
ngandwhi st
li
ng.It’
stheZulu
royals.Theysi nguntilt
her eachacl earspotand
theysi tdownont hegrass.Theyarewear i
ng
tradi
tionalatti
resandt heyar el
ookinggood.Futhy
seest hem andherhear tbecomescont ent.She
smi l
esandcont inuessinginganddanci ng.

Whentheyaredonewiththeguest
s,Nomalooksi
t
Fut
hyandindicat
esthati
t’
sti
me.Shebreat
hesout
l
oudandstart
ssingi
ng.

*
**FUTHY*
**
Energydr i
nksareharmf ultopregnantwoman
becauseyousomehowgetaddi ct
edtocaffeinebut
IonlydrankittodaybecauseIneededt heener gy.I
knowKuhl ewoul dkil
lmei fhefoundoutt hatI
drankit.Anyways,thankstoMonst erEnergy, Iam
sti
llacti
veesigcawini
.Thecer emonyi ssti
llgoing
well.Therearesomanyguest s.
Iclearmyt hroatandst ar
tsi nging.Weplannedthat
beforegoingt otheinlaws, wewi l
lst
artonesong
wher esizosi
nasi sabal
aleisigcawuj usttobri
ng
backt hevibe,thenwewi llstartanothersongand
thengot othem.SoIst ar
tt hesong‘ BASHONALE
NALENAESAMII SIGCAWU, WENDUNA
SEBEKHOHLI WEUKUTHII SIGCAWUESAMI .
’

Themomentsi qalanjeukusi na,t

heZulur oyals
l
iteral
lygocrazyandsomeevencomet ous
bazogiyawhichmakesomeoft heguest sgocr azy.
Thissongistiri
ngandi tisputti
ngpressur einmy
l
egbutIam j ustgladt hisdayisfinal
lyover .I
quickl
ygobackt othel i
neandt ellmom aboutmy
l
eg.Shemassagesi twhilepeoplearegl uedtothe
chaoshappeni ng.Whent hesongi sfi
nished,weal l
gobackt otheline.

Ri
ghtnowIam supposedtostar
tihubolamiandgo
gi
vemyfiancéumkhonto.SoIst
artsinging,
‘
NGIYAKUTHATHAMAGEBAWAMI ,NGITHANDA
INDLELAONGI PHETHENGAYO,INHLONI PHO
IYONGILEKELELA.’
Myentour
agehelpmesi ng.I
danceunti
lIreachKuhl
eontheot
hersideof
i
sigcawu.Igettohi
m andt
henkneeli
nf r
ontofhim.

Istabthespearinthegr oundinf r
ontofhim and
thenstandup.Isingandt henheadbackt otheline.
Hest andsupandt akesanumbr ell
afrom Sbo.He
walksalonewithpride.Li t
erall
ythewhol eground
bowst ohim asheist hepr ince.Ikneelonthegrass
matwhenhei safewf eetawayf rom me.Heget st o
whereIam andopenst heumbr ell
a.Istealaglance
atitandIonlyseeR200not esonly.

Hesquat sinfrontofmeandhandsmet heumbr el

la.
Ismileandt akeit
.Hestealsakissbeforehestands
up.Hewal ksbackt ohi
sspotandhi sfri
endsmeet
him half
way.Igobackt otheroyalswithmyf r
iends
thi
st i
mear ound.Westarttotheelder
sandgi ve
them umkhont o,t
heycomeandgi vemet hemoney
andgi f
ts.Wemovet ot
hesister
s,brot
her sandthe
aunt
stoget
herwi
tht
hemot
her
s.

Mom instructsmet ogobacktoKuhletogivehim

umkhont o.Idoasinstruct
ed.Hecomesbackwi th
anot
herumbr el
lafi
ll
edwi t
hcash.Ij
ustl
aught hi
s
ti
mear ound.Thecer emonycomestoanend, we
arei
nstructedtotakeumkhontototheroyals.We
handthem umkhont oandgobackhomewhi l
e
si
nginganddanci ng.Inthatmomentmyl egis
showingmef l
ames.

Wegeti nsi
detheyar
dandIaskmom t oundress
mequi ckl
y.ShedoessoandIgot omybat hroom
andjustsoakmybodyi nwarm water.Thepaini
n
mylegseemst osubside.Thebatht
ubi sf
il
ledwit
h
foam.Thebathroom dooropensanddadmakeshi s
wayin.

Me:“
daddyIam naked.
”hel
aughs.
Dad:“
comeon.You’
renotal
lthat
.”
Me:“
eww.
”Hel
aughsagai
n.Hepl
acespi
ll
sont
he
si
nk.

Dad:“
Iboughtyouthesef
orthepainbecauseIhave
afeel
ingyourl
egisshowingyoufl
ames.Andr el
ax
t
heywon’tbeharmfultot
hebaby.
”
Me:“
thankyoudad.Nowl
eave.
”
Dad:“
what
everdude.
”Il
aughandheheadsout
.

Igetoutoft hebat htubanddr aint

hewat er.Iwrapa
towelaroundmybodyandgot othesink.Itakethe
pil
lsanddr i
nkt hem instantl
y.Igotomycl osetand
wearmymat chingbr aandthong.Igetacr azyidea
anddeci detodoi t.Itakemyphonef r
om mysaf e
andt akeafewmi rrorself
iesinmyunder wear .I
thensendt hem t oKuhle.Iswitchoffmyphoneand
putitbackint hesaf e.Youcanneverbet oosafe
bahlali
.

Igot
othebedr
oom andf
indmyf
ri
endsal
ready
preparingthemselves.Theyhavestar
tedget
ti
ng
dressedandsomear edoingthei
rmake-up.The
mai densar ei
nThando’sroom butGcinomadesure
tolockupever yt
hingofhers.Iwearmybrown
dresswhi chwasdesi gnedbyMamiandmat chit
withsliders.

Igodownst air
stothekitchen.Umembesohas
alr
eadyst artedonthefrontyard.Ther
earesomany
people.Somear eevenout si
detheyar
d.Iopenthe
fri
dge,takeoutaseal edyoghurtandgobacktomy
room.Isi tonmycouchandeati t
.Col
dand
deli
cious, i
t’
sjustperf
ect.ZahandXoliheadoutsi
de
andIam l eftwithNomaandLee.Icl earmythroat
.

Me:“guysIneedt
otel
lyousomet
hing.
”Theyhave
sober
edupnow.
Noma:“
spi
ll
.”
Me:“
Iam pr
egnantwit
htwi
ns.”Theybot
hscr
eam.
“
Hey!Keepi
tdown.”Theyl
augh.
Lee:“
Iam sohappyforyou.
”NomalooksupandI
thi
nkshei
st r
yingt
opreventhert
ear
sfrom f
all
ing.
Noma:“ Iam j
ustrel
ievedbaby.Rememberthenear
cancersaga?Ithoughtyouwoul dhavepr
oblems
concei
ving.
”
Me:“t
heZuluunder
groundgangdoesn’tpl
ay.
”They
l
augh.Wetakeafewpictur
esandvideosofusjust
doi
ngcrazyst
uff
.

Moment slaterwehearsingingfr
om insi
dethe
house.Iguesstheyhavecomet ofet
chmenow.
Theygett omyr oom andtheyhugme.I t
’smysister
i
nlaws.Theyhandmeadr ess,wit
hheelsanda
headwr ap.Theygoandwai toutsi
dewhileIchange.
Thisdressisreall
ybeauti
ful.I
tmatcheswit
hNoma
andLee’sdresses.

It
’sabeauti
fulemer
aldgreensi
shweshwepepl
um
strapl
esst
opwi t
hamat chi
ngmermaidsi
lkski
rt
.
Theheadwr apmat cheswi t
hthetop.Theyal
so
broughtashawlthatmat cheswit
ht heheadwrap.I
putitonmyshoulder s.Theheel
sar ebl
ackplat
form
blockheel
s.IknowIam goi ngtowearthem f
ora
fewmoment s.

Weheadoutandt hesi sterinlawssi ngunt i

lwe
reachthefrontyard.Iam i nstructedtosi tdownon
thegrassmat .SoIdoso.Theygi vemeal otofgif
ts.
WhenIsayal ot,
Imeanal ot.Fr om blanketsand
duvetstoexpensiveheel s,bagsandal l
.Whent hey
aredone, mycousinstaket het hingstomyr oom
whileIproceedtothedecor atedf ramet ent.Igosi
t
atthefrontnexttomyf uturehubby.Hehol dsmy
handandl ooksatme.

Kuhl
e:“
youl
ookr
eal
lybeaut
if
ulandIl
oveyou.
”I
bl
ush.
Me:“youalsol
ookhandsomebaby.
”Heisweari
ng
asafarit
wopiecesui
twhichi
semeral
dgreeni
n
col
our.Therei
sumqheleinhi
sheadandthe
l
eopardski
naroundhisshoul
der
s.Heisalso
carr
yingawal
kingst
ick,dr
ama.Heiswearingblack
redbott
oms.“
Wherear emybabi
es?”hechuckles.

Kuhle:“withtheirgrandfather.I
t’
sonlyamat t
erof
ti
mebef or
etheyseeyou.Theyar egoingt ocrowd
youint hatseat.”Ilaugh.Thewai t
ersgeti nand
star
tser vi
ngf ood.Af t
ereatingabout4spoons, I
seeAmahl erunningt omewi t
hZwelifollowi
ngher.
“Tol
dyouso. ”Irollmyeyesathi m.Ist andupand
meett hem halfway.Ibenddownandhugt hem.

Me:“ youguysl ookbeauti

ful
.”Amahlei
swearinga
greent ut
uskirtwithwhit
evestandwhiteshoes
whileherbrotheriswearinggreenpant
s,whit
eshi
rt
andbl ackshoes.
Amahl
e:“
thankyoumama.
”

Zweli
:“heyma.Howar
eyou?
”Amahl
erol
lsher
eyesandIlaugh.
Me:“comeandsitwit
hus.”Il
eadt hem t
oourtabl
e.
Luckil
yKuhleandIar
eseatedinacouchsot hese
twositbet
weenus.Theyareservedfoodandthey
star
teati
ng.

Afterwear edoneeating,wegot akepict

uresand
greetourguests.Ial
sogoandf ormall
ygreetmyin-
l
aws.Iseeaf ewofmycl i
entsandbusiness
associatesandgogr eetthem.Peopleareserved
food,drinksandmeat .Theyseem happyand
satisf
ied.Iam j
ustti
redbutIguessIcanhol donf or
anhourorso.

Iam j
usthappyt
hatever
ythi
ngwentwell.Iam al
so
happythati
nafewweeksIwillbeget
ti
ngt ot
he
manofmydr eamsandmysoulmat e.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
21] :CHAPTER82
SPONSOREDCHAPTER

Iam meet i
ngupwi thmybi ggestglobalcl
ientt
oday,
Maur eenSchil
laci
,theheir
essoft heSchill
aciGroup.
Herfami l
yhast hemostexpensivepr i
vatehospital
s
globall
y.Iam superexcit
ed.Idon’tevenknowhow
l
ongourcont ractwillr
unandhowmuchi tisworth.
Ican’twaitt
of i
ndout .

Igetdr essedinasleevel
essblackbodyconbelow
thekneedr esswi t
hredbott
om pointedtoepumps
thi
nhi ghheel sandanudeelegantponchowr ap
scarvecape.It akemyblackDolce&Gabbana
medi um calfski
nSici
ly62bagwhi chwaspartofthe
gif
tsIgotf rom myinlaws.Ipackeveryt
hingand
thenheadtot
heki
tchen.If
indKal
readycooki
ng
breakf
ast
.

K:“damnboss, youareki
ll
ingust oday.”Shesays
fanni
ngherface.Itwir
landshescr eams.Thobeka
andMabut horushtothekitchenwiththeirgunsout
.
Whent heyseeus,theyputthem backint hei
r
waists.

Thobeka:“
sjur
ayouar enyisi
ngus.Makinguseat
porr
idgewit
haf or
k.”Ichuckl
eandsitdown.K
handsmeabowlofMor vit
e.It
’sal
sooneofmy
obsessi
onsthesedays.

Mabutho:“i
fmyhear twasn’
ttakenbysomelady,I
woulddefi
nit
elytakemychances.”Welaugh.Ist
art
eati
ngmypor ri
dge.Withi
nafewmoment sIam
done.Ipl
acethebowlinthesink,t
akemybagand
headout.
.
.
Wegett oDCCandf irstheadt omyof fi
ce.Ihave
hadaf ewsket chesforhugehospi t
alproj
ects,
soI
am justgoingtoshowt hem toMaur een.It
akethe
sketchesf r
om mycol lecti
onandpl acethem onthe
desk.Igosi tonmychai randcheckonmyemai l
s.
Therear esomanyi nternationalcl
ient
swhowantt o
meetupwi thmesot hatwecanf i
nali
zeour
contracts.Someevenwantmet ocomet othei
r
countries.

Ijustsendthem emai l
sinfor
mingthem aboutmy
weddingandal sotellt
hem thatIwil
lbeabletosee
them aftert
hesecondweekofApr il
,sotheyshould
setupappoi nt
ment swithmyPAaf t
erthatsecond
week.ThedooropensandNomawal ksinlooking
allgorgeousinapowderbl ueshir
t,nudeformal
pants,navyblazerandbr ownboots.Sheiscarryi
ng
anudehandbag.

Me:“
lawyermyl
awyermadoda.
”Shel
aughs.
Noma:“goodmor
ningMi
ssCel
e,soont
obeMr
s.
Zul
u.”Ismil
e.
Me:“
Ilovet
hesoundoft
hat
,Mr
s.Zul
u.”
Noma:“
soonmyf
ri
end,
soon.
”Webot
hlaugh.

Me:“goandmakesomecoffeef
oryour
selfint
he
ki
tchen.Maur
eenwil
lbeher
ein15minutes.Pl
ease
maket eaf
ormysel
f.
”

Noma:“ okaybabes.”sheplacesherbagonthe
chairandheadsout .Ist
andupandl ookout
sidethe
window.Godhasbeensogoodt ome.Iam whereI
am becauseofhi m.Ihavefaceddeathandcame
outali
ve.Iam reall
ygratef
ultohi
m.“ Youar
eso
deepint hought
s,youdon’tevenhearmecalli
ng
you.”Iturnandlookatherwithasmi l
e.

Me:“nott
hatdeep.Iam j
ustt
hinki
nghowgreatGod
hasbeentoMe.”shehandsmeacupoft ea.
Noma:“
youhavebeensobl
essedf
ri
end.Godand
yourancest
orsar
ewor
kingover
ti
meonyourl
if
e.”I
takeasip.
Me:“youcansayt
hatagai
n.”Thedooropensand
Xol
iwalksin.

Xol
i:“
MissSchi
ll
acihasent
eredt
hebui
ldi
ngboss.
”
Me:“okay.Wewi l
lbeintheboardroom t
hisinst
ant
.”
Shenodsandt henleaves.It
akemysket ches,
tabl
etandheadoutwi thNomaf ol
lowi
ngme.We
gettotheboar
droom andsettledown.

Fewmoment slat
er,Maureenent
erstheboardr
oom
withanumberofguar dsandtwowomenwhom I
suspectoneisthelawyerandanotheri
sthePA.I
standup.“Welcomet oSouthAfr
icaandwelcometo
DCCMi ssSchill
aci
.”Iext
endmyhandandshe
shakesitwit
hasmi le.

Maureen:“
Iam happyt
obef i
nal
lyher
e.Wit
hat i
ght
schedul
eIhave,Idi
dn’
tthi
nkIwouldmakeither
e
per
sonal
ly.
”
Me:“youmaysi
t.
”Weal
lgetset
tl
eddownandher
goonsremai
nst
andi
ng.
Maureen:“
wewillgetdownt
obusinesst
hen
becauseIhavet
obei nmyplanei
ntwohours.
”

Me:“
ri
ghtoni
t.
”
Maur een:“f
ir
stl
ywear ethi
nkingofr ebrandi
ng.My
fat
herhavest eppeddown.Iam goi ngt obe
announcedast hechairwomanandt hemaj or
shareholdersoon.Sorenovati
onswi llbeinorder
wit
hmyf aceoneveryhospitalthatbelongstomy
family.
”Inod.

Me:“
whendoyouwantt
her
enovat
ionst
ost
art
?”
Maureen:“
assoonaspossi
ble.Butsi
nceyouare
get
ti
ngmar ri
edi
nafewweeks, wecanstar
tin
May.”Inodagai
n.
Me:“IhaveafewsketchesIwouldli
ket
oshowyou.
Idon’
tknow,butIguessIam psychi
cbecauseI
coul
dfeelt
hatyoumi
ghtwannar
enovat
e.”She
l
aughs.

Maureen:“ goahead.”Istandupandshowhert he
sket
cheswhi l
egivingadet ai
leddescri
pti
onof
ever
ythi
ng.Shesmi l
es.“Il
ovei t
.Thi
scouldwork.
Andpeopl ewonderwhyIchoset owor kwit
hyou.
”
wechuckl e.Igobackt omysi t
.Shesignal
sher
l
awyerwhopassesaf i
letome.Ipassi tt
oNoma
whoopensi ti
nstantl
y.“Thisisadetail
ed10year
cont
ract.Ifyouhaveanypr oblemswithit,
youcan
emailmyl awyer.Ineedi tbynextweekMonday.So
gooverit.Don’trushit.
”

Me:“
thankyou.
”shest
andsup.
Maureen:“Iguessthatconcludesourmeet
ing.
”We
shakehandsagai n.“
Iwil
ltryandmakeittoyour
wedding,i
fIdon’tcomeIwi llsendmygi
ft.
”
Me:“Iwil
lreal
lyappreci
atet
hat
.”sheheadsoutwi
th
herent
ourage.Isitdownnextt
oNoma.“ Sohow
manyfigures?
”
Noma:“ t
asehercontr
actal
onemeansyouar
eset
forl
if
e.Youdon’tevenhavetomeetwi
tht
heother
cli
ent
s.”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“
justt
ellmet
ase.
”
Noma:“r
atherIshowyou.”shehandsmeapaper
f
rom t
hefil
e.Il
ookatitandIstopbreat
hingwhen
myeyeslandont he9fi
gureamount.

Me:“
hol
yfuck.TaseIam r
ich.
”Shel
aughs.
Noma:“
youhavebeenf
orawhi
lenow.
”
Me:“not
hiscal
lsf
oracel ebrat
ion.OMG!Xolibook
awholer
estaur
antfordinner
.Alsoinvi
teal
lofmy
f
ri
endsandKuhle’
sfriends.Wear ecel
ebr
ati
ngmy
win.
”

Xol
i:“
yesboss.
”Shesaysinasqueakyvoi
ceand
welaughather
.Sheheadsout
.
Me:“
taseIdon’
tthi
nkIcanwor
kri
ghtnow.Canwe
j
ustgotoaspaandr elax?Cal lLeei
nt hemeanti
me.
Youcanlookatthatcontracttomorrow.”Ihandher
backthepaperandpracti
callyjogtomyof fi
ceaft
er
taki
ngmysketchesandt ablet.Mabuthostandsup
whenheseesme.

Mabutho:“
everyt
hingokayboss?
”heaskswit
hhi
s
handalr
eadyinhiswaist
.Ist
opinfr
ontoft
hem.
Me:“everyt
hingisfi
ne.I
nfacti
tisbeyondfine,i
tis
gr
eat.Iwannast andupatther
oofandshout‘ ALLI
DOISWI N, WIN,WINNOMATTERWHAT’ because
wow.”Ileavethem st
andi
ngandgetinsidemy
of
fi
ce.

Ipackmostofmyst uf
fandheadout .It
ellMabutho
todri
vemet ot hespa.Hei nspect
smebutdoesn’ t
sayanythi
ng.Iguesshei ssomehowshockedby
mymood.Never thel
ess,theydri
vemet othespa.
Fewmoment slater,
LeeandNomaj oinme.Iswear
thi
stwoar ealwaysonst andby.Butt hat
’showour
fri
endshi
pislike.Youcallus,wedr opever yt
hing
andcomet
oyourai
d.

Lee:“
sowhat
’supt
ase?
”
Me:“Iam abi
ll
ionai
ret
ase,
that
’swhat
’sup.
”Isay
smil
ingwidel
y.
Lee:“
Itakei
tthemeet
ingwentwel
l
?”
Me:“
bet
tert
hanexpect
ed.
”
Lee:“whatar
ewewai t
ingfort
hen?Let’
spaintt
he
townredandfor
getforafewhoursthatyouare
pregnant
.”Weal
llaugh.

West artbyget
tingf
ullbodymassages,facial
s,
waxes, mani
curesandpedicures.Af
terwear edone,
Ipayandwedeadout .Il
aughwhenweal lsqueeze
ourselvesi
ntomycar.Mygi r
lsaremyr i
deordi eso
that’
swhyIwoul dcel
ebrateeverywinwiththem.

Noma:“t
otheai
rpor
tdr
iver
.”If
rownandt
urnt
o
l
ookather.
Me:“
wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?
”
Noma:“
shoppi
ngt
othemot
herci
ty.
”
Me:“
howar
ewegoi
ngt
ogett
her
e?”

Noma:“youcanbeslowsomet i
mes.Wear eusing
Kuhl
e’
sjet.It
alkedt
ot hepil
ot.Him andIhavean
ent
angl
ement ,
nothi
ngserious,justst
ressr
eli
eving
ki
ndofentangl
ement.”Shelicksherli
psandwe
l
augh.

Wegett otheai rportandweal lgotothejet

.We
boardthepl aneandaf terafewmi nutes,
itt
akesof
f.
Aft
er2hour sandaf ewmi nut
eswel andinthe
mothercity.Wef i
ndcarr ent
alsal
readywaiti
ngfor
us.Wecl i
mbi nsideandwedr ivetoCanalWalk.We
gett
hereandheadi nside.

Noma:“
whatar
ewebuyi
ngf
ir
st?
”
Me:“
ourcl
othes,
thenshoesandt
henwear egoi
ng
t
obuyclot
hesforAmahleandZwel
i.Iwi
llt
ake
Kuhl
eshoppi
ngdur
ingourhoneymoon.
”

Lee:“okayIhavedownloadedashopguide.Isaw
theseamazingsneakersonthenetf
rom Bathu,can
wegett hem andwearthem ont
hetradi
ti
onal
wedding?Wedon’ tneedtobeweari
ngheelsevery
ti
me.”
Me:“gr
eatidea.TextZahandXol
iandaskthem
t
heirsi
zes.Whichshoparewestart
ingat
?”

Westartonclothi
ngshopswher eweshopal most
ever
ythi
ngfrom dresses,totops,pant
s,ski
rts,
j
umpsuits,j
acketsandlingerie.Al
mosteverythi
ng.
Wethengoshopf orheels,sneaker
sandsandal s.
Whenwear edone, wegot oAdi daski
dswher eI
shopforAmahleandZwel i
.Igettemptedandend
upshoppingforBusi’
skids.

Si
phosethu,
Busi’
sdaught
erandAvethandwa,
Thobeka’
sdaught
erarebot
hgoingtobeflower
gir
lssowealsobuyshoesf
orthem.Ialsobuy
matchi
ngsneaker
sformyli
ttl
efamil
y,Kuhleand
theki
ds.Whenwearedone,wehavelunchat
Col’
Cacchi
o.

Whenwear edone,wefl
ybackt
oDur
ban.Ont
he
pl
ane,
Itakemymi ddaynap.
.
.
Wef r
eshenupatmyhouseandgetr eadyt ogoto
dinner .Xolihastoldusthateveryoneisatthe
restaur antthatshebooked.Igetdressedinagreen
straplessj umpsuitandgoldblockheels.Icombmy
hairandt i
ei tt
oaneatbunandt henattachanafr
o
puf fonmybun.Idoaqui cknaturalmakeupand
headout .Iam gladmybabi esarenotshowi ngof
f
yetsomyt ummyi sstil
lnormal.

Noma:“damnyou’
reslayingsomuch.Iam sure
Kuhl
eisgoingt
ogetjealoustoni
ght
.”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“
that
’st
hei
ntent
ion.
”Theyl
augh.

Weheadout sideandcl i
mbi nt
othecar s.Wedr i
ve
totherestaurantandgeti nsi
de.Wef indeveryone
waiti
ngandl ooki nggoodliket
heyar egoi ngt
oa
galadinner.Theyst andupwhent heyseeus
enter
ingandt heycheer .Drama.Wej ustlaugh.
Kuhlecomest ome, hugsmeandt hengi vesmea
breat
htakingki ss.

Kuhl
e:“
youl
ookgoodbaby.
”Hegr
absmybut
tandI
gi
ggl
e.
Me:“
thankyou.
”hel
etsmegoandIhugever
yone
el
se.
Danny:“
sowhyar ewehere?Xol
iwasluckyIwasi
n
townorelseIwoul
dn’
thavecomeinsuchashort
noti
ce.
”Isitdownandt
heyallsi
t.
Me:“
canweal
leatf
ir
st?Eveni
fit
’sst
art
ers?
”

Danny:“
fi
ne.
”Thewai
ter
sbr
ingst
art
erst
oourt
abl
e.
Theyj oi
nedafewt abl
es,sowehaveal ongdinner
tableinthemiddl
e.Theybringvariousstar
ter
s,
from sti
rfr
iedchi
lichi
cken,kebabs,sti
ckychi
cken
wi ngsandsmokedpor kjowlwithpickl
es.

Sbo:“
Ihat
ebeingkepti
nthedar
k.”It
akeonest
icky
wingandeati
t.
Me:“
chi
llSbo,
youdon’
trushbi
ll
ionai
res.
”
Lee:“
thefl
exhasstar
ted.Br
aceyoursel
ves.”Noma
andXolil
aughwhil
etheothersl
ookconfused.

Kuhl
e:“
lovi
e.”
Me:“
babe.
”
Kuhl
e:“endtheguessi
nggame.
”Il
aughandst
and
upwit
hawi nginmyhand.

Me:“youguysareimpati
ent.Iwantedustotoast
wit
hchampagnebutbecauseofyouri mpati
ent
asses,wewil
ltoastwi
thfood.Iguesswingsand
kebabswi
lldo.Sost
andupandr ai
sewhatever
you’
reeat
ing.
”Theystandupandrai
sethem.

Danny:“you’r
eright
,champagnewasnecessar
y.”
Theyalllaugh.
Me:“tobeingasel f
-madebi l
li
onai
reandtothe
fut
ure.”Theladi
esscr eam whil
ethegentl
emen
cheer.Kuhleisnexttomewi thinabl
inkofaneye.
Kuhl
e:“
love.
”Inod.

Me:“themeetingwentbet
tert
hanexpect
ed.Wear
e
r
icherthanever.
”
Kuhle:“waiter
spleasebri
ngchampagne.Wecan’ t
toastthesekindofnewswi t
hf ood.”Weal
llaugh.
Thewai tersbri
ngchampagnesandwepopt hem.
Wepourt hem i
nglasses.“
Onegl asswon’
thur t
.”He
whispersi nmyearandIgiggle.

Me:“okay.At
oast
,TOTHEFUTUREAND
EVERLASTINGFRIENDSHI
P!”
Everyone:“
TOTHEFUTUREANDEVERLASTI
NG
FRIENDSHI P!
”

Thef
utur
ecan’
tbepr
edi
ctedbutIcansayt
hati
tis
l
ooki
nggoodfr
om mypoi
ntofview.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
22] :CHAPTER83

Weshoul dbehomemaki ngsurethateveryt

hingi
s
setandallthet
hinghavebeenpr eparedforthe
whit
eweddi ngwhichistomorrowandt he
tr
adit
ionalweddi
ngwhi chisonSat ur
day.Butwe
areonourwaytomybachelor
ett
epartywhichwi
ll
beinFreeSt
ate.Wehadt
oputdistancebet
weenus
andtheguyssothati
twi
llbehar
dt otr
aceus.

Weleftourphonesinmyhouseaf terwesentthem
messagessayingthenetworkcoverageisn’
twell
.I
al
sosentdadamessagel i
kethat
.Knowi nghim,he
mighttr
ackusdownandbeatusup.Thi sismyl ast
dayoffreedom andIi
ntendtospendi tr
eckl
essl
y,
wit
houttheuseofalcoholt
hough.

Wegett otheWi l
dHor sesLodgeandwechecki n.
myf ri
endssaidthisdayi smi nesonomoneyi s
goingtocomef rom me.Weheadt oourrooms,
changeandt henheadt ot heranch.It’
snotmyf irst
ti
mer i
dingahor sebutIhavet obeext r
acarefulnot
toharm mybabi es.Aft
ert hehor seri
ding,wegosai l
theGoldenCitywher etheyser veuscockt ai
lsbutof
courseminear evir
gincockt ail
s.

Danny:“
soanyst
ri
pper
sjoi
ningt
heshow?
”the
l
adi
esscream,thesehornybit
ches,
theper
centi
s
goi
ngst
raightt
ot hei
rpussi
es.
Lee:“hel
lyeah,
theywi
llcomet ot
hesuit
eafterwe
comebackf rom t
hecl
ub.Buttothet
akenladies,
youcanlookbutcannottouch.Wewil
lbewat chi
ng
you.”
Zah:“
what
’st
hef
uni
nthat
?”

Noma:“babeswedon’tcarei
fyouwannarui
nyour
r
elat
ionshi
p,butwedon’twantournamesdr
agged
i
ntoyourargument
s.”
Lee:“
exact
ly.
”
Li
ndsay:“
cheer
stot
hesi
ngl
eus.
”
Thando:“
cheer
s.”Shesayswi
thahypedvoi
ceand
wealll
ookather.

Me:“
don’
ttel
lmeyougotdickedbyanEngl
ish
man.
”sheblushesandl
ooksdown.
Thando:“
itwasnot
hingser
ious.Iwant
edt
oexpl
ore
andhewast hereanddamnhewassogood.Idon’
t
l
ovehim butIloveourmoment
stoget
her
.”
Lee:“
li
tt
lel
adyhasaf
uckbuddy.
”Shesqueal
s.
Noma:“ f
oll
owi
ngi
nthef
oot
stepsofhersi
ster
.”we
al
llaugh.

Thando:“
youal
sohadf
uckbuddi
essi
si?
”sheasks
l
ookingatme.
Me:“ girl
yIam amar ri
edwoman.Don’tt
alktome
aboutukungcol a.Yey!
”Isayshowingmyringand
theyal ll
augh.Wellwedidgetmarri
edatHome
Affai
rs2weeksbackandwer ecei
vedourori
ginal
certi
ficateyest
erday.
Danny:“
fryus.Wear
eyour
s.”Weal
llaugh.

Lindsay:“
wecoul dbecelebrat
ingyourfr
eedom but
si
nceyouar ealr
eadymarried,
welll
et’
sjustpr
etend
youar enot.Justfort
hesefewhours.”
Me:“
CHEERSBABES!
”
EVERYONE:“
CHEERS!
”
.
.

Wegetbackt othesuit
es,changeandthenhi tt
he
cl
ub.Iam dr essedinablacksweetheartneckruff
le
tr
imtwistromperwi thgreenbowdécorst i
let
to
heel
edmul esandal sandagr eenbl
azerjustincase
i
tgetscold.Iam wear i
nga‘BRI DETOBE’ sashand
aglowi
ngt iara.Iam t
ell
ingyoumyf ri
endscanbe
dramat
ic.

Wegett otheclubandf i
rstordershots.Oneshot
can’tki
llababy,r
ight?Af tert
akingthatoneshot,we
headt oourtabl
e.Weor derchampagne, mineis
nonalcohol
ic.West artdri
nkingandt hengodance
i
nt hedancef l
oor.Wear ehavi ngsomuchf un.The
MCevencal lsust othest agetodosomekar aoke.

Af
tert
hecl
ockhi
ts12am,
weheadbackt
othe
guesthouse.Theladiesfi
rstgot heirsuitesto
changeintothei
rli
ngerieandsilkygownandt hen
comet omysui t
ewhi chisbiggerthant heirsuites.I
alsochangeintomyr edwickedl acecut ourteddy
l
ingeri
eandwearar edsil
kygownont op.Ithenput
onmyr edsli
ppers.HowIwi sht ot akeapi cand
sendittoKuhlebutIknowhewi lldefini
telytrack
me.

Danny:“ babes,Ihopeyourweddi ngnightl

inger
ieis
hotterthanthisorisjustli
kethi
sbecausedamn
Blue,youar efl
ames.”Hef anshimself.Heis
wear i
ngabl ackmeshmen’ sbodysuitand
somehowhi sdickisn’tshowi
ng.WhileLindsayis
wear i
ngamen’ ssexybodysuitt
eddyl i
ngeri
e.I
giggle.
Me:“i
twasimport
edbabesandi
tisr
eadyf
orone
andoneoccasi
ononl
y.”

Danny:“
cheer
stot
hat
.”
Zah:“
howIwi
shIcansendaf
ewsnapst
oMbuso.
”
Me:“met oo.ButIknowKuhl
ewoul
dusethat
oppor
tunitytotr
ackusandhecoul
dbeherewit
hin
twohours.”

Xoli
:“l
et’
srathercapt
uret
hesemoment
swi
thour
mindsthen.”
Li
ndsay:“
Iwi
lldr
inkt
othat
.”

Wepopt hechampagnesandcont i
nuewherewe
l
eftoffwit hthedri
nks.Fewmi nuteslat
erNomaand
Leedisappearandt heycomebackwi th5stri
ppers.
Weal lscream.Damnt heyar
esnacksbutt heydon’t
reachyou- know-who.Asthebridetobe,theygive
met hefirstlapdancewhichleavesmehotand
horny.Icoolof fwi
thabubblyglass.

Me:“
damnt
hatwasi
ntense.
”Ever
yonel
aughs.
Thando:“canIbethesecondonetogett hel
ap
dance?”weallscr
eam andoneoft heguysgoto
herwhil
et heot
hersgototheotherladi
esandtouch
them.Oneoft
hestr
ipper
sstandi
nfr
ontofLi
ndsay
andDannyandst
ri
pf ort
hem.

Li
ndsay:“
damnyouar
emaki
ngmehor
ny.
”
Danny:“
justoner
ound.”Il
augh.Ihearaknock
comingfrom t
hedoor
.
Lee:“it
’sprobabl
yt hefoodIorder
ed.Pleasegett he
doorFut hy.Asyoucansee, wearepr eoccupied.”
Shei stheonegivingthestri
pperalapdancewhi l
e
Nomai stouchi
ngandki ssi
ngthesamest r
ipper.I
l
aughandheadt ot hedoor.Iopenitandfinda
waiterwithourfood.

Wait
er:“
eveni
ngMr
s.Zul
u.Her
eisyourf
ood.
”I
makeway.
Me:“pl
easeent
erandplaceitonthattabl
e.”She
smil
esandgetsinsi
de.Shealmostdropsthefood
whensheseeswhatishappening.

St
ri
pper
:“wannaj
oinushoney?
”hesayswi
than
amusinglookinhi sface.Thewai
terquickl
yshakes
herhead.Shepl acesthefoodonthetableand
rushesout.Iclosethedoorandweal ll
aughather.
Myf eett
akemet othetablewi
thf
oodandIi ndul
ge
ontheappet i
zingfood.

Me:“
sodel
ici
ous.
”Imoansof
tl
y.
Noma:“
damnFuthy,
youaremakingmebawelt
he
f
ood.
”Igiggl
eandsi
tdown.Shecomesandsi
tnext
t
omeandweeat .

Afteranhourorsowehearaknockagai n.Bythi
s
ti
me, Nomai sgetti
ngfuckedbyoneoft hestri
ppers
whileLeei sfuckingoneofthest r
ippers.Thandois
al
soget ti
ngmuf fedwhil
eDannyandLi ndsayar e
havingat hreesomewi ththestr
ipperthatwas
str
ippingfort hem ear
li
eron.ZahandXol iare
enjoyi
ngt heshowwhol egett
inglapdances.

I
t’
ssaf
etosayKUTRI
CKY,
KUTENSE.Iam sot
ir
ed
thatIhaveaskedforLee’
skeycard.Ihaveal
ready
saidgoodbye.Igoopenthedoorandf i
ndthe
managert her
e.

Me:“owwheyt here.
”Igetoutoft
heroom andshut
thedoorquickl
y.“
Arewemaki ngtoomuchnoise?”
hesmiles.
Manager :“no.actuall
ytherei
sacal lf
oryou.”he
doesn’twaitf ormet osayanyt
hing.Hej usthands
met hephone.“ I
t’
savideocall
.”It
aket hephone
andlookt ot hescreen.Ial
mostpeeonmysel fwhen
IseeKuhl e’sface.

Me:“heybaby.
”Isayi
nahighpit
chedvoi
ce.I
qui
cklyheaddowntoLee’
sroom.
Kuhl
e:“
heyl
ove.Whydoyoul
ooksouneasy?
”
Me:“me?Uneasy?No.Iam j
ustt
ir
edsoIam
r
eti
ri
nginmyr oom.
”

Kuhl
e:“
inal
inger
ie?
”
Me:“
wewerehavingagir
ls’
nightsoitwast
he
dr
esscode.
”Isaysi
tt
ingonLee’sbed.
Kuhl
e:“
butyoul
ookl
ikeyouhaveseenaghost
.”

Me:“maybei
t’
sbecauseIwasn’
texpect
ingyour
cal
l.
”Hechuckl
esangri
ly.
Kuhl
e:“youlef
ttheprovi
nce,di
tchedyourphone
andpracti
cal
lyranawayfrom meadaybef oreour
weddi
ngday.Whatwer eyouexpecting?Ihadto
tr
ackyoudown. ”
Me:“Iam sorr
yfort
hat.Ij
ustwant
edt
oenj
oyt
his
daywithoutdi
str
act
ions.
”

Kuhle:“wellMissDi st r
act
ions,youbettertel
lthe
stri
pperthatwasgi vingyoual apdancet ogetout
ofyourr oom usingt hewindowbecauseIwi llbe
thereinaf ewmi nut esandIwoul dhatetokill
someonef ewhour sbef oreIsayIdo.”Hehangsup
andIpani c.Ipracti
cal l
yruntomyr oom andf i
nd
theladiessti
llhavingf un.Iswitchofft
hemusi cand
t
heyboome.

Me:“ ALLTHESTRI PPERSGETOUTNOW! ”they

quicklyrushoutbecausemyt oneisn’tf
ri
endly.
“GUYSPLEASEFI XYOURSELVES, THEGUYSWI LL
BEHEREI NAMOMENT.THEYTRACKEDUS
DOWN! ”it
’sl
ikeadisast
er,
theyallrunupanddown
l
ikeheadl esschi
ckens.

Lucki
lytheydidn’tshageachotheronmybedsoI
j
uststrai
ghtenit.Theyarebusycollect
ingcondoms
ontheground.Wet i
dyupandsi tdownont he
coucheslooki
ngsoi nnocent
ly.

Danny:“i
fthereisanyevidencel
eft,wewil
ljust
bl
amei tonthesingleones.”Weallnodin
agr
eement .Thisissofunnybuti
t’
snol aughing
matt
er.Wehearaknockandweal lj
umpi nfear.

Li
ndsay:“
Fut
hygoopen.
”
Me:“
hhawhyme?
”
Zah:“
becausei
t’
syourr
oom.
”

Me:“Thandogoopen,you’r
etheyoungest
.”Weall
nodinherdir
ecti
on.Shestandsupslowl
yandgoto
openthedoor.“
Whydi dn’
twechangeourwear?
”
Noma:“
ther
ewasnot
imef
ori
t.
”

Thando:“bhutidon’tyouknowt hatit
’sbadluckto
seethebridebef or
etheweddi ngday?”sheasks
withanervoussmi leonherf ace.Kuhledoesn’
t
answerinsteadhegent lepushesheroutoft heway
andstepsinside.Hiseyessear charoundandt hey
fi
ndmi ne.Het akesquickstepstowardsmeand
grabsmywr i
stassoonashei sinfrontofme.

Phi
la:“
damnyoul
adieslooki
ngsexy.”Hesmirks
andhistwi
nandI
saaclaugh.Theothersseem
pi
ssed.
Kuhl
e:“
whi
chwayi
sthebat
hroom?
”
Noma:“ Iam herlawyer
.TaseIam here,exer
cise
yourri
ghtt osi
lence.
”Sheissodrunk,sheis
actual
lyinaudi
ble.Ionl
yheardherbecausesheis
nexttome.

Kuhle:“
Iam notar
rest
ingmywife.Ij
ustwantt
o
speaktoherinpri
vat
e.”Ist
andup.
Me:“l
et’
sgotoLee’
sroom.”Ipul
lhi
m withmy
shaki
nghands.WegettoLee’
sroom andhel
ocks
thedoorassoonasweareinsi
de.
Kuhl
e:“
Whyar
eyouner
vous?
”

Me:“ Iam notner

vous,Iam j
usthungr y.”Hel aughs
andshakeshi shead.Icanseet hathei stryi
ngt o
cont ainhisanger
.“Ionlyr
eceivedal apdanceonce
baby.IswearIdi dn’tdoanyt
hingel se.Ididn’teven
knowt hereweregoingtobestrippers.”Iam talki
ng
sof ast ,
Idoubthecanevenhearme.Hecupsmy
face.
Kuhle:“
calm downbaby.Doyouwantt oharm our
babies?
”Ishakemyheadwi t
ht ear
srunningdown
mycheeks.Hewi pest hem.“
Iam sorrythatIscar
ed
you.Calm down.Iam notgoi
ngt odoanyt hi
ngto
you.”hehugsmet ightl
yandIjustsob.Heybl ameit
onthepregnancyhor mones.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
22] :CHAPTER84

Iwakeupt
hefoll
owi
ngmor ni
ngandIf rownwhenI
takei
nmysurr
oundi
ngs.Iam atmypar ent
s’house
i
nmybedroom.HowdidIgethere?Iclosemyeyes
andmemori
esofKuhl
ecomi ngtotheguesthouse
fl
oodsi
n.guesshebroughtmebackher
e.Iwonder
whathesai
dtomyf at
her.Isi
tupandcl
imbofft
he
bed.

Iheadtothebat hr
oom, t
akeoffmyni ghti
e.Iguess
Kuhlechangedt heli
ngeri
eIwaswear ing.Ibrush
myt eet
handt hentakeal ongwarm shower.WhenI
am done,Idrymybodyandwr apat owelaroundit.
Igobackt othebedroom andIfrownwhenIseemy
fr
iendstherelooki
ngdrained.

Me:“whatexact
lyhappenedl
astni
ght
?”i
t’
sNoma,
Lee,
ZahandXol i
.
Lee:“yourgor i
ll
acameandendedt hefun.DudeI
wast hisclosetoreachi
ngmyor gasm.Tomake
thi
ngswor se, Sboactedl
ikemyf ucki
nboyf r
iend
andwasal lmadandshi t
.”Ichuckl
eandsi tonthe
dressingtable.

Me:“
sif
ikeNi
nlapho?(
Whendi
dwegett
her
e?)
”
Lee:“Iam al
sosurpr
isedl
ikeyou.I
twasjust
harmlessfunwit
hhim butitseemsli
keuguyu
catchil
e.”
Noma:“ youbetterendi
tsoonbef
oreheget
s
obsessedlikesomeonewhosenameIwon’t
mention.”

Me:“pl
usyouareoldtase,nooffensebuthis
mother
swouldprobablylookforayoungmai deni
f
t
heyweretohearofhim havingfeel
ingsfora
womanwhoi s5yearsolderthanhim.”
Lee:“Idon’tevenwantitt
oreacht
hatst
age.Iam
cutt
ingtieswithhi
mt oday.”

Me:“canitnotbemessy?Idon’
twantanythi
ng
r
uini
ngmyweddi ngday.
”Shenods.“
Andwhat ’
sup
wit
hyouchur chmice?Whyareyouquiet
?”Iask
l
ookingatZahandXol i
.
Zah:“
Ican’
tfeelmypussy.Lastnightorr
athert
his
morni
ng’spunishmentwasveryrough.Mbusojust
tur
nedint
othi
sunt
amabl
ebeast
.Hemur
der
edmy
pussy.
”

Noma:“
didyouatl
eastenj
oyi
t?”shebl
ushes.
Zah:“ever
ymi
nut
eofi
t.
”Wescr
eam andshecover
s
herface.
Lee:“
what
’syourst
ory?
”sheasksl
ooki
ngatXol
i.
Xoli
:“hepuni
shedmebynotgi
vingmeasingl
e
orgasm butf
uckedmesohar
d,about3r
ounds.
”

Me:“
damnt
hat
’shar
sh.
”
Xoli
:“t
ellmeaboutit
.HesaidifIbehavetoday,he
wil
lrepaymewithmul t
ipl
eorgasms.”Wel aughat
herbecauseshelookssoneedyrightnow.

Lee:“
wellpr
incebaehir
edmasseuset
ocomeher e
andmassageyousot hatyoucanber
ejuvenat
ed
befor
eyouwal kdowntheaisl
e.”
Me:“
andpeopl
easkmewhyIl
ovehi
m.”t
heyl
augh.
.
.
Wehavejustarri
vedatt heSkyVenuewher ethe
whit
eweddingwi l
lbetakingplace.Ner
vesar eall
overt
heface.Themassagecal medmedownf ora
fewmoment sbutnowIam backt osquar
eone.To
makethi
ngswor se,dadi st
heonewhoi sdriving
me.Hekeepsonl aughingatme.

Dad:“ dramaasi fyou’r

et hefi
rstpersont oget
mar ri
ed.Pl easebeent heredonet hat.
”seehow
sarcast i
chei s.Hei sdri
vingtheBugat t
i.Theone
thatwasr eplacedwi t
hNqobi l
e’smoney.Ihear d
thatSt handiwei sinament alinst
itut
ionbecause
shei sappar entlyhall
ucinati
ngandDonna
commi tt
edsui cidebecauseshewas‘ hear i
ng
voices’.Isaygoodr i
ddancet obadr ubbish.

Me:“
dadpl
easest
op.
”
Dad:“
stopbei
ngdr
amat
ic.Ofcour
seIam st
oppi
ng
t
hecar.Wehavereachedourdest
inat
ional
ready.
”I
r
ollmyeyesandhelaughs.
Me:“
Iam goi
ngt
otel
lonyou.
”

Dad:“ youngl adyfocusonyourhusbandandl eave

mymar riagealone.”Ilaughbecausehi stonei
s
hi
lari
ous.Hei sscar edofmom t hi
sone.West ep
outoft hecarandt hephotogr
aphert akesasmuch
photosaspossi bl
e.Whi leIam sti
llt
akingafew
breaths,journali
stsmaket hei
rwayt owher eweare
andst arttaki
ngphot os.

Bytheway, Iendedupchoosi ngananti

queivory
l
acebal lgownweddi ngdr essdeckedouti n
beadingandembr oi
dery,wi thabeadeddeephalter
V-neckli
neandabeadedi l
lusionbackandhorsehai
r
hem fini
sh.Ialsohaveanot herfort
herecepti
on.
Bothmydr essesareballgowns.Idon’twantt he
mediaf ocusingonmypr egnancybecausemy
bumpi salreadyshowing.
Ipairedmydr esswithcream Swar ovskicrystal
backweddi ngshoes.Thebr idesmaidsarel ooking
beaut i
fuli
nmer maidburgundydr esseswi t
hbl ack
Anyaankl estrapheels.Iknowf orafactthatthe
guysar emat chingwiththem.Theyal sohavet wo
dresses.Fort herecepti
on,theywi l
lchanget obl ack
mer mai ddr
esses, Iguessmyf r
iends’squatswi l
l
fi
nallypayoff .

Afterposi ngforsol ong,weheadt othevenue.We

fi
rstheadt owheret hemat r
imoni alceremonywi l
l
behel d.Myf ami l
yent erf
ir
st.Thent hebr i
desmaids
al
soent erdoingtheircatwalks.Luckilytheyare
sobert oday.Aftertheyhaveal lentered,Siphoset
hu
andAvet handwageti nwhi l
eloiteri
ngt heredand
whiter osepedalst heyarecarryingever ywhere,
earningt hemselvesgi ggl
es.
.
.
*
**NARRATED*
**
Thebandset
supever
ythi
ngandwhent
heyar
e
done,R&BsingerBuciemakesherwayt othestage.
Peoplecheerwhent heyseeher.Shesmi l
esandt he
bandstart
spl ayi
ngrejoi
cei
nslowmot i
on.Fut hy
walksdownt heaisl
ewi t
hherfatheront hesideas
themusicplayssoftl
y.Sheisafrai
dt olookatKuhl e
becausesheknowswhenhereyesl andonhi m,she
wil
lcry.

‘
BabyIl
ikedi
twhenyout
oldyourboys
I
’
m wi
thmywoman,
I’
llbewi
thmywoman
Thi
slovehasj
ustbegun
We’
vehadourf
ight
s,we’
veshedourt
ear
s
Kungakhondi
zazi
ukubandi
ngi
wakho

Thewayyoul
ovemet
ouchmet
easemebaby
Gi
vesmeaf
eel
ingt
hatIcan’
texpl
ain
Youandme,
allal
onei
nthi
swor
ld
Il
osemysel
ftot
hesoundofyourvoi
cesaymy
name
Icannotpr
etend,
tobeatpeace
Sobabypl
ease,
lovemef
orme
Laymyhear
tatease,
don’
twat
chmebl
eed
Ther
e’smor
eofme,
soj
ustr
eleaseme

Thewayyoul
ovemet
ouchmet
easemebaby
Gi
vesmeaf
eel
ingt
hatIcan’
texpl
ain
Youandme,
allal
onei
nthi
swor
ld
Il
osemysel
ftot
hesoundofyourvoi
cesaymy
name

Di
dyoul
ikei
twhen,
youhear
dmyvoi
ce
Sayi
ngngi
yak’
thanda,
ngi
yakudi
nga
Wehadmadeachoi
ce,
toj
ustr
ejoi
ce
Godhadagr
eed,
thatwecanbe
Youandmeal
lal
onei
nthi
swor
ld
Il
osemysel
ftot
hesoundofyourvoi
cesaymy
name.
’

Futhylooksatherhusbandwhoi sl
ooki ngupt o
stophistearsfrom fal
li
ng.Whenhef eelst hatshei s
l
ookingather ,healsolooksatherandseest hel ove
onhereyesbecauset heveilsheiswear ingi snot
coveri
ngherf ace.Hesmi leswhilet
ear sf allf
reely
i
nhi seyesandhedoesn’ tbotherst
oppi ngorwi ping
them.Ont heot herhand,Futhyisal
socr yingand
sheisont hever geofsobbing.

Theyfinal
lyreacht heaisl
eandSi yabulelahands
overhissecondpr incesstoKuhle.Hedoesn’ tsay
anythi
ngbutgi veshim anintenselookwhi ch
i
ndicatesthat‘
hur tmydaught er
,Iwillbreakyour
bones’
.Kuhl egivesSiyaaknowi nglookandt akes
Futhy’
shandwhi chisshaking.
Kuhle:“
youlookbeauti
ful
.”Hesaysastheylookat
thepastorwhoiswait
ingforpeopl
etosett
ledown
sothathecanstartt
heceremony.
Fut
hy:“youlookdashi
nglyhandsome. ”Hei s
weari
ngabl ackandwhitepeaklabeltuxedoand
bl
ackdressshoes.Thegr oomsmenar ewear i
ng
bur
gundyandbl acksuit
swi thwhit
eshirtsand
bl
ackdressshoes.Hesmi l
esatthecompl i
ment.
Thepastorclear
shisthr
oatandst ar
tstalki
ng.

Pastor:“Dearl
ybeloved,wear egatheredheretoday
i
nt hesightofGodt ojointhismanandt hi
swoman
i
nhol ymat ri
mony.Nott obeent er
edintolight
ly,
holymat ri
monyshoul dbeent er
edintosolemnl y
andwi threverenceandhonor .I
ntothisholy
agreementt hesetwoper sonscomet ogethertobe
j
oined.Ifanyper sonherecanshowcausewhy
thesetwopeopl eshouldnotbej oi
nedi nmat r
imony,
speaknoworf oreverhol
dyourpeace. ”

Si
lencespr
eadsoutt
hevenue.Youcanonl
yhear
thebi r
dschirping.FuthyandKuhlelooksar ound.
Futhyl ooksaroundagai nandspotst hepeopleshe
i
sl ookingfor.Shethensl owl
yrai
sesherhandand
clearsherthroat.Peoplegaspandmur murwhen
theyseeherhandup.Kuhl ef
rownsl ookingather.
Shest epsforwar d,
learni
ngonthemi c.Shetakesi
t
andl ooksattheguest s.Shespot
st heki ngandthe
fi
rstqueenandt hensmi l
es.

Futhy:“noneedt obewor riedpeople.Iam already

mar ri
edtothisman. ”peoplesighoutofr eli
efand
somechuckl e.“Ijustwannasendashoutoutt othe
twopeoplewhogavemet hishandsomehusbandi n
frontofme.Damnbabyyoul ookli
keawhol emeal,
notasnack, awhol emeal .That’
sall.Youmay
continuewithyouspeechpast or.
”Shepl acesback
themi candever yonelaughswhi l
eKuhl echuckles
andshakeshi shead.

Past
or:“
waytobreakthei
cemakoti
.”Ever
yone
l
aughsandFuthychuckl
es.“
Anyways,marri
agei
sa
sacredunionbetweenhusbandandwi feandshal
l
remainunbroken.I
tisthebasi
sofast abl
eand
l
ovingrel
ationshi
pandi sajoi
ningoftwohear t
s,
bodiesandsouls.Thehusbandandwi fearet
here
tosupportoneanotherandprovideloveandcarein
ti
mesofj oyandtimesofadversity.
”

“Weareal lher etowi tnesst hej oi

ninginwedded
bli
ssofKuhl ekonkeZul uandNt ombifuthi
LwandlelethuCel e.Thisj oyousdaycel ebratesthe
commitmentandl ovewi t
hwhi chKuhl ekonkeand
Ntombifuthist arttheirlovest ogether
.Thr oughGod,
youarejoinedt ogetheri nthemosthol yofbonds.
Whogivest hiswomani nt hisholymat ri
monyt o
thi
sman? ”Si yabulelast andsupl ookingal ldapper
i
nat anthr eepi ecesui tandnavyshi rt
.

Si
ya:“
Ido.
”
Pastor:“
nowIhaver easontobeli
evethatthi
s
beauti
fulcouplehavepreparedt
heirownvows.So
overtoyou.”theytur
nandl ookateachother
.Fut
hy
gi
vesNomaherbouquetandt
henj
oinshandswi
th
Kuhl
e.

Kuhle:“
sthandwaSami ,sinqandamat heSami ,
si
momondi yaSami ,phakadelami ,
thambol ami
l
ekhentakhi,
thembal amilaphakade.”Theguest s
ulul
ate,
whistlesandcheerwhi l
eFut hyblushesand
l
ooksdown.“ Nowat chmebaby, watchmei nthe
eyessothatyoucanseeIam speaki ngf r
om the
bott
om ofmyhear t.
”Futhysmi lesandr ai
sesher
head.Shewat cheshim.

“Ibel
ieveinloveatfir
stsightbecauseIfellf
oryou
thefir
stti
meIsawyou.Thesecondt i
memyPAt ol
d
met hatIhaveameet ingwi t
hyouIt hankedmy
ancestorsbecauseIwi shedIcouldseeyoual lday
everyday.Youar ebeautif
ul,i
nsideout.Youare
warm, youarekind,youar egentl
e,yougivesecond
chancesandyoudon’ tholdgrudges.”

“
Besi
desyourbeaut
yandbr
ains,
yourhear
tiswhat
pull
edmet owardsyou.Todayinfr
ontofever yone,I
promiset oloveyou,
honoryou,cheri
shyou, protect
you,provideforyouandbeyourpill
arforasl ongas
Il
ive.Ialsopr omi
senottotakeasecondwi feor
cheatonyoubecauseyouar emyhear tandyou
completeme. ”peopl
echeerandFuthyj ustsmi l
es.

Past
or:“
overt
oyouMi
ssCel
e.”
Kuhle:“
Iam notdonepast or
.”Futhychuckles.
“Ngobangawengi wi
nile,ngi
wini
le,ngi
winil
e,ngake
ngawinangokuthol
awena.Weh, weh,wehngaze
ngabambai l
ott
o.”Hesingsanddanceswhi le
peoplecheerandFuthylaughsbecausehi svoice
soundshorri
blebuti
t’sthethoughtthatcounts,
ri
ght?

Fut
hy:“myturnnow.”Kuhl
echuckles.“Mageba,
Zul
ukaMal andel
aNgokulandel
aizinkomo
zamadoda.Zuluomnyamaondlelazimhlophe.
WenakaPhunganoMageba.WenakaMj okwane
kaNdaba.WenawenkayishanakaMenzieyaphuza
umlazangameva.St
hul
isikaNdaba.Sthulisi
ka
Nkombane.WenakaNogwaj aomuhlengoml enze.
Wenakambambel aShoba.Ndabezi
tha.”Shebows
ali
tt
le.

Peopl
estartcheeri
ngsohar d.TheZuluroyals
movearoundt heplace,
begiya.NoKuhlenaye
uyagi
yainfrontofhiswife.Manyareshouting
‘
Musho’‘Bayede’‘
Ndabezi t
ha’‘
Zul
ukaMal andela’
.
Thesounddi esdownandFut hysmiles.

Futhy:“youcamei nt
omyl i
feandt urneditupside
down.Youmademef alli
nl oveagai n.Youmade
met rust,youmademedependonyourl ove.AndI
thankyouf orthatbecauseeversi nceIsai dyest o
yourlove, Ihavebeenf eeli
ngcompl eteandcont ent
i
nside.TodayIpr omiset oloveyou, tostaytrueto
you,totakecar eofyou, t
ohonoryouandt onever
cheat.Ipr omisenevert obreakyourhear tandalso
provi
def oryouf orasl ongasIshal lli
ve.Il
oveyou
SthuliSikaNdaba. ”
Pastor
:“t
hatwasbeauti
ful.NowcanIpleasehave
theri
ngs?”t
heybri
ngther i
ngsfor
ward.Nowrepeat
aft
erme:witht
hisri
ng,Itheewed.”
FuthyandKuhl
e:“wi
tht
hisri
ng,
ItheeWed.
”they
puttheri
ngsoneachot
her.

Pastor:“wasGodhasjoi
ned,letnootherman
separate.Wit
hthepowervestedinme, Inow
pronounceyouhusbandandwi fe.Youmayki sst
he
bri
de.”Thecoupleshar
eabr eatht
akingkissandt
he
guestscheerloudl
y.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
#Mr
&Mr
sZul
u
#Fuhl
e
[
03/
09,
08:
23] :CHAPTER85
*
**FUTHY*
**
Iam of f
iciall
yMr s.Zuluintheeyesoft hepeopl e.
Kuhl e’
svowsmel t
edmyhear tandIfellforhim
evenmor e.Wehavet akenpicturesandwear enow
headedt ot hereceptionvenue.Weent eranddance
untilwer eachourt able.Themi nut
ewesi tdown,
Amahl er unsandr aisesherar mssot hatIcant ake
her.Ijustlaughandpi ckherup, pl
aci
ngheronmy
l
ap.

Amahl
e:“
youl
ookbeaut
if
ulmama.
”
Me:“t
hankyoupr
incess.Youal
sol
ookpr
ett
y.”She
bl
ushes.
Ichuckl
ewhenIseewhotheprogr
ammedi rect
ori
s.
TheychoseLel
e.Heal
readyl
ooksdrunkbutIknow
heisgoingtodothet
askathandandevenexcel
.
Theprogram st
art
sandthespeechesst
art
.

King:“
Mahle,comeher e.”sheclimbsof fmyl apand
rushestohergrandfat
her .Hepicsherup.“ Iam
veryhappyforbothofyoumyki ds.Iwi shyou
nothi
ngbutthebest.Iknowt hatyouwi llt
akecare
ofeachandbet hereforeachot hersoIhave
nothi
ngt oworr
yabout .AllthebestandIcan’ twai
t
unti
lyougivememor egrandchildren.AlsoMaCele
youarenowof fi
cial
lymydaught er.I
fhedoes
somethingtoyou,don’thesitat
et otel
lme. ”

Siya:“Ididn’
tthinkoneofmyki dswil
lbemar r
iedto
royalt
yonedaybutIam happybecauset heyar eall
wor t
hr oyalt
y.Iam happyforyoukids.Iwishyou
nothingbutt hebest.Ij
ustwanttotellyouthattrust
i
sver yimpor tanti
nmar r
iage.Don’
tgiveyour
partnerreasonsnott otr
ustyou.Showeachot her
uncondi t
ionalloveevenwhenyouar eangryateach
other.”
Jabu:“loveli
vesbet weenthet woofyou.Itisvisi
ble
toeveryoneher e.Don’tst
opl ovi
ngeachot hereven
ondar ktimes.Supporteachot herandalwayst ake
eachot her’
ssideagainstthewor l
d.Nevertell
anotherpersonyourmar i
talprobl
ems,rather
consultamar ri
agecounsel l
orwhoi saneut ral
part
y.”

MaDl omo:“mutualr
espectisveryi mportant.Evenif
oneofyoumakesmor emoneyt hant heother,koti
knowt hatKwaZuluthereisno50/ 50.Konkewi ll
alwaysbeyourhusband.Wel lsincei t
’st
he21st
century,wecansayit’
sa51/ 49t ypeofrelat
ionship
butalwaysrespecteachother.AndKonke
remembert hatr
espectisearnednotdemanded. ”
Themi cmovesf r
om theelderstoourpeer s.

Noma:“t
aseasyourlawyer,youcancomet ome
anyt
imeifyouar
enol ongerfeel
ingt
hismarri
age.
”I
l
aughoutloudandKuhlejoinsme.“Justj
oki
ng.I
l
ikeyouKuhleandsof aryouhaveputmygi r
lfi
rst.I
l
ovethatyouarehernumberonecheerandyouar e
neverj
ealousofhersuccessorfeelthr
eatened.I
hopethatyoucheerforeachothereveninthe
fut
ureanddon’tl
etotherpeopl
et el
lyouotherwise.”

Lee:“t
aseIam happyt hatyouhavef i
nal l
yfound
yourotherhal
fandyoumi ssingpeace.Everything
seemst obefall
ingintopl
acei nyourli
fer i
ghtnow
anditmakesmesohappy.Youhavecomesof ari
n
l
ifeandIknowyouar egoingf ar
.Togetherwi t
h
Kuhleyouaregoi ngtobuildanempi r
ef oryourkids
andgrandchil
dren.Toyourf utur
eandyourl egacy.
”
Sheblowsaki ssandIcat chit.

Sbo:“
Iam j
usthappyt
hatIgotmyselfari
chsist
er
i
nlawwhowi l
lspoi
lmeeverychanceshegetsand
someti
mestakemeshoppinginMil
an.”Il
augh.
Li
sa:“welcometothef
amilysi
si.Mybrotherchose
well
.Iknowyouloveeachotherandyourloveis
suchaninspir
ati
onandIknowt hatIwi
llf
indlove
evenatage30becausel
oveknowsnoage.
”She
smil
esandIalsosmil
e.

Wegochangei ntooursecondout f
its.Forme, i
t’
sa
whitelong-sl
eevedsat inball
gownwi thwhi t
e
SophiaWebst erChi araembroider
edl eathersandals.
Kuhlechangedhi sbl azerandheisnowwear inga
goldandbl ackblazer.Thegroomsmenar ewear ing
bl
ackt uxedoswi t
hbl ackshirt
sandnot ies.The
bri
desmai dsarewear i
ngblackmer mai ddresses
andblackf auxleatheropensquaret oeankl estrap
heels.

Kuhl
e:“
youl
ookl
ikeat
ruequeent
oday.
”Ibl
ush
andbow.
Me:“that
’sbecauseIam marriedt
oaf ut
ureki
ng.
Thesekindsofthingsr
uboff.”Helaughsandper
ks
mylips.“Youlookhotbaby.
”
Kuhl
e:“
Idon’
tevenwi
sht
otakemyhandsof
fyou.
”
Me:“
thendon’
t.
”Iwhi
sper
.Hecupsmyf
aceand
ki
ssesme.

Phil
a:“stopwit
hthebol
dandt hebeautif
ul.We
wannagoi nsi
deandshowof fourchoreography.
”
Webr eaktheki
ssandlaugh.Wehadt hese
rehearsal
swherewedidafewdancesandsi nce
Phil
aisagooddancer,hecan’twaitt
oshowof f
.
Kuhl
e:“
let
’sgot
hen.
”

Themusi cst ar
tsfr
om insi
det hehallandwemake
ourwayi nside,doi
ngourweddi ngstep.Wegett o
thedancef looranddothetokoloshedance.Wel l
Kuhlemi ghtnothavethesingingvoicebutatleast
heknowshowt omove.Wet henchangetogqom
andwedancet oBusi
swa’sBanomoya.Theguest s
cheerloudly.Whenwear edone, weheadt oour
seats.BynowIam outofbr eath.Damngqom
musi ci
st i
ri
ng.

Lel
e:“
Isowi
shIwaspar
toft
hebr
idalpar
ty
becauseIwould’velovedshowoffmydance
moves.”hedoest hevoshoandthecrowdcheer
s
forhi
m.“Wellnowwear egoingt
ohavea
perf
ormancef r
om thebeautif
ulMissKel
ly
Khumalo.”Peoplestandupandcheerforher
.

Shet akesthemi candstartsperf

ormingEmpini.
Peopl estandupandst artdanci
ng,other
sare
takingvideos.Iam j
ustenjoyingherperf
ormance.
Whenshei sdoneperformi ngEmpini
,Lelecal
lsus
tot hestageforourfi
rstdance.Wegot othedance
floorandKellystar
tssingingNgathwalaNgaye.

‘
MayeMaye,
Maye
MayeMaye,
Maye

Awuk’
phel
’umoya
Mang’
cabangangawe
Phel
awen’
umydal
i
For
ever
Sek’
phel
’i
oxygeni
Mang’
cabangangawe
Phel
awen’
umydal
i
For
ever

Awubhek’
indl
ela
I
ndl
el’
indl
el’
Ong’
bukangayo
Yey’
ungaz’
ufunge
Ngat
hwal
angaye
Awubhek’
indl
ela
I
ndl
el’
indl
el’
Ong’
bukangayo
Yeb’
ungaz’
ufungeukut
hi
Ngasebenzangaye
MayeMaye
Ngamt
hand’
umunt
u
Kwab’
hlunguki
mi
Wemadodayi
ni
MayeMaye
Ngamt
hand’
umunt
u
Kwab’
hlunguki
mi
Ohyi
niomama’

Wear enotreal
lydanci
ng.Wear ejustt
easi
ngeach
otherandmakingjokes.Thesongendsandpeopl e
cheer.Lel
eannouncesthefatherdaught
erdance.I
dancewi t
hmydadwhi l
eKuhledanceswithmy
mot her
.

Dad:“
youl
ookbeaut
if
ulpr
incess.
”
Me:“atl
eastt
hist
imeyouar
enott
easi
ngMe.
”he
chuckl
es.
Soont hedancef loorf i
ll
swi t
hcoupl es.Afterallt
he
dancing, f
oodi sfinall
yserved.Whenwear edone
eati
ng, wecutt hecakeandsot hetoast i
ng.Lele
call
smet othrowt hebouquet.Istandupandhead
tothest age.LevelUpbyCi arastart
spl ayingand
theladiesfil
lthedancef l
oor.Ialsojointhem.When
wear edone, Ithrowt hebouquetandi tgetscaught
byZahwhocat wal kstoMbusoandki sseshim
makingever yonecheer .

Kuhl
eisalsocalledtot hrowt hegutt
er.Theyplace
achai
rinthemi ddleoft hedancef l
oorandIgosi t
down.Hegetsundermydr essandhishandsl i
ghtl
y
car
essesmyi nnerthighs.Fuck.Ismi leandtryto
maskmyar ousal.Histeet hgripthegutt
erandhe
comesoutwithit.Het hrowsi tandIsaacistheone
whocatchesit.Hewear sitonhisheadandwe
l
aughathim.

Thewhi
teweddi
ngcomest
oanendandt
her
oyal
s
quickl
yrusht oNongomabecauset heyhavetobe
backatdawnt ofet
chmef ort
heoffici
alZulu
wedding.Itakeoffmydr essbeforeheadinghome
becauseitistoohuge.Wegethomeandf ind
peoplemovi ngupanddown.I ti
ssobusy.Weget
i
nsideandpackbecausei talr
eadyislateandwe
knowt heroyalswon’tbelate.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
23] :CHAPTER86

Whil
eIam packi
ngmyst uff
,myphoner i
ngs.I
smil
ewhenIseet hati
t’
smyhusbandt hati
scall
ing.
Yep,myhusband.Kuhleismyhusband.Iam never
goi
ngtogetusedtoi
t.Iam soluckytobeblessed
bysuchanamazingperson.Ianswerthephone
wit
hawidesmi l
eonmyf ace.

Me:“
Myeniwami
.”Hechuckl
es.
Kuhl
e:“
mkamiukahl
e?”Ismi
l
e.
Me:“
kakhul
uNdabezi
tha.
”

Kuhle:“
lookwehavebeent ryi
ngtogethol
dofyour
fat
her.Hisphoneissendi
ngusstrai
ghttovoi
cemail
.
Couldyoupleasegivehi
mt hephone?”
Me:“
ohhokay.I
sever
ythi
ngokay?
”
Kuhl
e:“
itwi
llbeaf
terispeakt
ohi
m.”

Me:“okay,
pleasehol
d.”Irushtohi
sbedroom
whereIfi
ndhim massaginghiswif
e’sf
eet.“
Thi
sis
socutebutdaddyKuhlewantstospeaktoyou.
”
Dad:“
didhet
rycal
li
ngmyphone?
”Ir
ollmyeyes.
Me:“
wher
eisyourphone?
”
Mom:“
it
’schar
gingi
nLel
e’
sroom Ndosi
.”

Dad:“
ohh,gi
vemethephone.”Ihandhi
mthe
phoneandgosi
tonthecouch.“Andnow?”
Me:“hawuIam wai
ti
ngformyphone,al
sothat
’s
myhusbandsoIshouldknowwhatyouare
di
scussi
ng.
”
Dad:“
yohsavel
elwauhusband.
”Hest
andsupand
goest
othebathr
oom l
eavi
ngmeandmom
l
aughi
ng.

Me:“
yourhusbandi
sdr
amat
ic.
”
Mom:“tel
lmeaboutit
.”Wetal
kaboutmeani
ngl
ess
t
hingsunt
ildadcomesoutoft
hebathr
oom.
Dad:“youneedtogeteverythi
ngready.TheZul
us
wil
lbeherewithi
n2hour s.Theyhaven’tl
eft
Mhlanga.Theyaresayi
ngt heycan’
tgobackempty
handed.Theymustgobackwi t
htheirbri
de.
”
Me:“ owwokay.”Itakemyphoneandheadbackt o
myr oom wher
eIf indmyf ri
endsdr
inki
ngwine.
“Soberupbahlali
.Wear eleavi
ngwithi
ntwohours.
Pleasepackupever yt
hing.”
Lee:“
Ithoughtwest
il
lhadenought
ime.
”

Me:“apparentl
ywedon’
t.Aft
eryouaredone
packi
ng, goandcookf
orthein-
lawsbecauset
hat
’s
yourduty.”
Noma:“MAKOTIWOYINYAKAZI
SAUMAILELE,
WOYINYAKAZI
SA!”shest
art
ssi
ngi
ngandIj
ust
l
augh.
Me:“wel
lIdon’
tneedtoshakei
tbecausei
tal
ways
get
sreadywhenitseesme.”

Zah:“
chi
pswena.
”Weal
llaugh.
Xol
i:“
whatsongsdowesi
ngvel
e?”
Me:“
Iwi
llsi
ng,
‘KUKHULUMI
NAENGAKUBONA!
”
t
heyr
espond.

Them:“
KULEZI
YANTABA!
”
Me:“
KWANONGOMA!ENYOKENI
!”
Them:“
KULEZI
YANTABA!
”
.
.
Wear enowatther oyalguestl
odgewhi chisafew
minutesawayfrom thepalace.Wear ri
vedhere
around2am andnowt hetimeis6am.Wequi ckl
y
shower,packourthingsandheadt othepalace.We
waitoutsi
detheyard,whilei
nsideourcars.I
exchangetheblanketovermyshoul derswit
hLee
becausesheisasi ze38,sonoonewi l
lnot
ice
much.

Mybr i
desmai
dsandthemaidensgot othegate
whil
eIsiti
nthecarwi
thmypar ent
sandXol i
.I
coul
dn’twal
karoundt
heyar
dunnot icedbecause
theyardi
sful
lofguar
dsal
soitissohuge.Sboand
Mkhululiar
et heonescarryi
ngtheki
st.Theyopen
thegateforthem andtheyenterwhi
letheyare
singi
ngihubol akwaCele.Theyci
rcl
etheyardand
thencomebackout si
dewi t
hPhumudzo.

Leegivesmet heblanketandIcovermysel fwit

hit
.
Hethenl eadsust oesihlahleniwhereweset t
le
downandsi tongrassmat s.Thewi ndisnottoo
col
d.It’
sj ustwarm.Myf ami l
ygoesi nsi
de
beyokhulekaingroups.Theyt hencomeoutand
chi
llundert hetr
ee.Mai dsbr i
ngusf oodwithtea,
coff
ee,inyamayogqokoandal cohol
.

Iam notreal
lyinthemoodf oranythi
ngthati
sin
fr
ontofme.Ij ustwantasimplecreamysampwi th
beefcurr
y.Mom st opseat
ingandl ooksatme
i
nquisi
ti
vely.
Mom:“
whyar
eyounoteat
ing?
”
Me:“Iam nothungryri
ghtnow.WhenIfeell
ike
eat
ing,don’
tworryIwil
ltel
lyou.
”Ithenl
iedown
andcovermyselfwiththebl
anket.
.
.
Iam wokenupbysomeoneshaki ngme.Yohmom
l
ovesshakingmeyeva?AnywaysIwakeupand
l
ookaround.Thesuni salreadyupandpeopleare
busygett
ingdressed.Iguesst hetimetogot
o
esi
gcawinii
snear i
ng.Ialsostandup.Mom helps
megetdressedinisidwaba, ubuhlal
oand
i
zimbadada.Iputonabl ackbeadedbr a.

Whenwear edone, weheadtoesi gcawiniwher ewe

singanddance, compet ingwiththeZulur oyals.The
fi
rstpartofthet raditi
onalweddingcomest oanend
andwear eledinsi detheyard.Theyi nt
roducemet o
theancestorsandsmearmewi t
hbi l
e.After
war ds
Umabof ol
lowsandIchanget oayel lowSwat i
i
nspiredof fshoul derbal
lgownwi thamat ching
i
nhloko.Mamidoknowshert hi
ngbecauset his
dressisbeaut i
ful.

Myhusbandandourbr
idalpar
tyar
eal
sodr
essedi
n
yell
ow, matchingwi t
hmydr ess.Wegot othefront
yardandIsi tont hegrassmatf acingdown.Umabo
start
sandmyf r
iendsstartcall
ingthenamesoft he
royalstocomeandcol l
ectthei
rblanket
s,grass
mat sandpi l
lows.Whent heyaredonewi t
hmost
peopl e,
theycallumkhongiandXol ii
stheonewho
cover shim wit
ht heblanketwhilepeopl
eululat
e
l
oudl y.

Thent het i
mecomesf orthekingtobecalled.They
bringahugechai rforhi
m andhesi t
sdown.My
sistersaretheoneswhohandl ehim.Theyst ar
t
shower inghim wi
thgift
s.Laphoheissmilingfrom
eart oear.Whentheyaredone, hi
swivescomeand
takehi sgif
ts.Nowit’
sKuhle’
st ur
n.Theybr i
nga
brandnewbedandhel i
esinitcomfort
ably.

Ismi
leandstandup.Ist
artt
hesong‘KONKE
OKWAMINGI YOKUCELAENKOSINI,NGISI
ZE
NKOSINGIHLONIPHEUMENDONGASHI YA
ABAKWETHUNGAYOGANA! ’myfri
endsandt
he
maidenshelpmesi ngthesong.Itakethebasin
fi
ll
edwithcosmet i
csandputitont opofthebed.I
star
timit
ati
ngbat hi
nghim asasignt hatIwi
llt
ake
careofhim atourhome.

WhenIam donebat hi
nghim, Ihelphim putona
coatoft hesui
tIbought .It
hencoverhi m wit
ha
comf or
terandmyf ri
endsuset hisoppor tuni
tyto
beathim up.Hei sslowt ogetupbecausemostof
thelashesgethi m.Umabocomest oanendandwe
takeaf ewpictureswithourout f
it
.Kuhl e’
smot her
l
eadsmet oar ondavelwhereshegi vesmea
beautif
uloli
vegr eenbeadedsl eevesmer maiddr ess
withaNdebel epr i
ntandamat chinginhlokoand
oli
vegreenheel s.

Me:“
thi
sisbeaut
if
ulma.
”
MaDlomo:“youmakeitmorebeauti
fulmakoti
.Thi
s
i
smygi f
ttoyou.Wel
comet othefamily.
”Sheopens
herarmsandweshareahug.Shet henleadsme
outsi
deandpeopl
eululat
ewhentheyseeus.Kuhle
comesourwayandInoti
cethatheisnowweari
ng
ali
ghtbr
ownsuitwi
thshortsl
eevesnomqhel
e.

Kuhle:“
wifey.
”Ismi le.Heal sohashi sl
eopar dski
n
thi
ngyonhi sshoulder s.Het akesmyot herhand
andtogetherwil
lhismot her
,theyl eadmei nsidet
he
mainhouse.Weent ert hishuger oom whi chIhave
neverseenbefore.“Thi si st
het hr oneroom. ”now
thathement i
onsit,ther eisathr oneatt heendof
theroom andmanychai rsbesidei t.

Me:“
pleasedon’
ttel
lmeIam goi
ngt
oencount
er
t
hesnakeagain.
”Hechuckl
es.
Kuhle:“
itwasaonceof
fthi
ng.Ipr
omi
sei
twon’
t
happenagain.
”

Me:“i
tbett
ernot.
”Wemovef urtherint
ot heroom.
Theroyal
sareseatedonthei
rchairsandt hekingi
s
onthethr
one.Thewivesareseatedont hegrass
mats.Theseat
snexttotheki
ngar eempt ywhichI
presumebel ongtoKuhleandhismother
.Everyone
i
sdr essedineitherol
ivegr
eenorli
ghtbr
own.I
guesst hosearethefamil
ycolour
s.Theseeri
s
goingupanddownnextt othethr
onewithan
i
ncense.

Mthembu:“ boMagebausezewaf i
kaumakotiwenu,
mamkeleni.(Magebaancest or s,youdaught
erin
l
awi sfi
nall
yher e.welcomeher .
)”Hekeeps
mumbl i
ngst uf
flikethat.Kuhle’smom tel
lsmetosit
downnextt oMaMol ef
eandIdosowhi l
eshegoes
tosi
tont helef
tsi deofthekingandKuhl eonthe
ri
ght.

King:“bokhokhonomkhulu,si
yazilomci mbi
bekumel ewenziwenamuhlakodwayi baninozwel
o.
Cabangelaniumntwanawenu.Yebousef i
kil
e
emagcekenikodwaakakakhul ul
eki.Siyathembi
sa
sowenzal omcimbiumasekufikeisikhathi.
(Ancestors,
weknowt hatthi
sceremonywas
supposedt obedonetodaybutpleasehave
compassi on.Thi
nkaboutyourdaught
erinlaw.Yes
shehasar rivedi
nthehomesteadbutshehasn’t
sett
ledin.wewi l
ldothiscer
emonywhent heti
meis
ri
ght.)
”MaShezigr oansandever
yonelooksather.

MaShezi
:“bayal
aNdabezi
tha.(
Theyar
eref
usi
ng
Ndabezi
tha.
)”
Mthembu:“bathimawenzi
wekulempelasont
o
el
andel
ayo.(Theyaresayi
ngitshouldbedonet
his
upcomi
ngweekend. )
”Thekingsighs.

King:“thenIguessi t’
sdeci ded.Thecoronat
ionof
MaCel ewi l
ltakeplacethi scomingweekend.”He
standsupandheadsout .Hiswivesfol
lowhim.The
chil
drenf ol
lowr i
ghtafter.Iam justgl
uedtothemat .
Didn’tKuhl esayt hiswillbedonei nafewmont hs?
Whyar et heyrushingitnow?Hecomest owhereI
am seat edandhel psmest andup.Iwaitunt
ilwe
areoutsi det heroom andIst artspeaki
ng.
Me:“
whatwast
hatabout
?”

Kuhle:“ wearegover nedbyt heancest orsbaby.

Accordi ngtot hem,Ishoul d’vemarri
edyoul astyear
whenwemet .Butl et’
sf orgetaboutthecor onati
on
forami nuteandf ocusonourguest s, i
t’
sour
weddingday. ”Ismi l
e.Soi st hi
showl ifeisgoingto
befrom nowon?Li vingbyt heancest ors’rul
es?
Whati ft heywantKuhl etotakeasecondwi f
e?Yoh,
marryi ntoroyaltytheysai d,butneverwar nedyou
aboutwhathappensi nsidethepalacewal ls.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
24] :CHAPTER87
Iam soluckythatt
hishousehasmai ds.Idon’t
havetowakeupear lyinthemor ningt odomybr i
de
duti
es.It
’sMondaymor ningandt heki nghasasked
tohaveameet ingwitheveryoneaf t
erbreakfast.
Everyoneisst
il
lathomebecausei t’
sEast er
Monday.Ican’tbel
ievethisisal
sonowmyhome.

Igetupf r
om thebedandgot akeashower .Kuhlei
s
sti
llsleeping.WhenIam doneshower ing,Idryand
l
otionmybody.It hengetdressedi nblackcr i
ss-
crossl acepaneltee,
fol
iagepr i
ntoverlapskirtand
bl
ackvi r
tusleat
hermules.ItieaBar occoMosai c
printscarponmyheadandputascar facrossmy
upperbody.It henheaddownst ai
rstot hekit
chen.I
fi
ndmai dsgoingupdownpr epari
ngbr eakfast.

Me:“
goodmor ni
ngever
yone.
”Theygreetback.
“
Don’
tmindme, Ij
ustwannaprepar
ebreakf
astfor
myhusband.
”
Mai
d1:“
youcanuset
hisst
ove,
yourmaj
est
y.”I
smi
le.

Me:“Iam notyetapr i
ncessbutokay. ”Iprepare2
sl
icesoft oast,oneegg, bacon, t
omat oesandacup
ofcoffee.Ithenputitonat rayandheadbackt o
ourroom.If indhim sti
llsleeping,heisfacing
upwardswi thhi shandsonhi sface.Iputthetray
onthebedsi det abl
eandcl i
mbont hebed.I
str
addlehi m andkisshim.Hegr oansandopenshi s
eyes.

Kuhl
e:“
mor
ningwi
fe.
”Ismi
le.
Me:“
morni
nghusband.
”It
henki
sshi
m.Heki
sses
mebackandIbr
eakthi
ski
ss.
Kuhl
e:“youl
ookbeaut
if
ul.Wher
ear
eyouheaded
t
o?”Ichuckl
e.

Me:“Iam awi f
ehere.Eveni
fIam notgoingtodo
anychores,Ihavetobeupandcleanatleastby
7am.”Her ol
lshiseyes.
Kuhl
e:“
ohhmakot
i.
”Hesayssar
cast
ical
lyandI
l
augh.
Me:“Imadebr
eakf
astf
oryou.I
ssabr
eakf
asti
n
bed.
”

Kuhle:“
that
’ssomethi
ngIwouldact
ual
lyl
ovet
o
havefortherestofmyli
fe.
”Ismi
le.
Me:“nowsitupanddrinkyourcoff
eebef orei
tgets
col
d.”Hesit
supandIhandhi mt hetray.“Wellyou
knowIhardlycooksoIam rougharoundt he
edges.
”Hechucklesandstart
seating.

Kuhl
e:“
thi
sisgood.
”Icl
apmyhandsl i
kea2year
ol
dseei
ngcandyandhelaughsshaki
nghi
shead.
Me:“l
etmet akeoutwhatyou’r
egoingt
owear
t
oday.”Icl
imbof ft
hebedandheadt ot
hecloset.
“
Doyouhavepr i
ncedut
iestoday?
”hechuckles.

Kuhle:“
it
’sahol
iday,
soIwil
lbespendingt
heday
wit
hmyl ovel
ywifeaft
ert
hemeeting.
”
Me:“okay.”It
akeoutbrowndresspants,
awhit
e
short
-sl
eevedt-shi
rtandwhi
tesneaker
s.Ipl
ace
them onthecouchinthecl
oset.
.
.
Afterthemeeti
ng,weallheadtothel
oungeand
settl
edown.Wellunli
keont het
hroneroom,herewe
sitonthecouches.Thi
sloungeiscustomi
zedfor
thislar
gefamil
ybecauseeveryonefi
tsinwell
.

King:“wellIwanttostartbywelcomi ngMaCeleto
thefami l
yagain.Thisisyourhomenow.Youcan
dowhat everyoul i
kebutdon’tparadehalf-
naked.”
wel augh.“Wear eaveryhugef amilyandsomeof
ushavewi vestotakecareofussot hereisnoneed
foryout owakeupear lyinthemor ni
ngandpr epare
breakfast.Justcatert
oyourhusband’ sneedsnje
mt anami.”Ismile.

Sbo:“
sbwlukubanowi
fe.
”
MaDubazane:“
vel
ewhenar ewemeet i
ngyour
gir
lf
ri
end?Yourbr
otheri
smar r
iedfort
hesecond
ti
mewenayouhaven’tevenint
roducedawomant o
us.Areyousur
eyouknowhowt ocourtawoman?”
welaugh.
Sbo:“
Iam tel
li
ngyouma,
byDecembert
hisyear
youwil
lhaveadaught
eri
nlaw.Ipr
omi
se.
”

MaDl
omo:“wewil
lbel
ievet
hatwhenweseei
t.
”The
ki
ngcl
ear
shist
hroat.
King:“asIsaidonSat ur
day,MaCele’scoronat
ion
willbeonSat ur
day.Iknowthatwej usthadabi g
weddingbutwhent heancest or
ssaywemustdo
somet hing,
wedon’tdelaybecausewedon’ twantto
angert hem.KaMahlabaandMaDubazaneyouwi ll
bei nchargeofthepreparat
ionsoftheceremony.
Sonsyouknowwhatt odo.”

“MaDlomoandMaMol efeyouwi
llteachMaCele
everyt
hingsheneedst
oknowaboutbei ngaZul
u
pri
ncess.MaSheziwon’
tbeavai
lablethi
sweek
becauseshei sgoingtot hecavetoconsultwit
hthe
ancestorsandmakesur ethateveryt
hinggoes
accordingtoplanonSat urday.Justsoyouknow
makot i
,youwon’tbelivi
ngher ebutyouarefreeto
comeanyt imejusttovisitori
fyouhaveany
probl
ems. ”Inod.“
Meet ingadjourned.
”

Ever
yone:“
Ndabezi
tha.
”Hest
andsupandheads
outf
oll
owedbyhisbrot
her
s.
Kuhle:“comebaby.Iwannashowyousomet hi
ng.
”
Hest andsupandIalsostandup.“Don’
tworry
aboutthepri
ncesslessons.Theywil
lst
art
tomor r
ow.”Weleavetheloungeandheleadsme
outsi
de.

Me:“
wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?
”
Kuhl
e:“t
omyfavour
it
epar
toft
hekingdom.
”We
cl
imbint
ohi
scarandMpendul
odr
ivesout.
.
.
Wegett othisbeauti
fulgardenthathasverypret
ty
fl
ower s.Maybei t
’sar oyalgar
den.Wecl i
mbof ft
he
carandhet akesoutabasketandabi gpaperbag
from t
heboot .Wewal kdownapavementandt hen
comeacr ossaspotunderat r
eewhi chhasvery
beautifulgreengrasswhi chyouonlyseeonthose
famousst adi
ums.Hel aysdownat hrowandplace
cushionsont opofthet hr
ow.

Kuhle:“
youmaysityourmajest
y.”Igi
ggleandsi
t
down.Hesitsdownopposit
emeandt akesout
fr
uit
sandsandwichesfrom t
hebasket.Ther
eis
al
soj ui
ceandbeer
.
Me:“
thi
splacei
sbeauti
fulandt
hankyouf
ort
aki
ng
meout.
”hechuckl
es.

Kuhl
e:“Iam yourhusband.Iam supposedto
pamperyouandshoweryouwi t
hl oveever
ychance
Iget
.”Ismil
e.
Me:“Iguesst
hismarri
aget
hingwon’
tbet
hatbad
af
terall
.”hel
aughs.
Kuhle:“
sowhatdoyout
hinkaboutNongomaso
far
?”heaskshandi
ngmewhitegrapes.

Me:“ wellIdon’ tli

kethatsuchahugepl acehasonly
onet ownwhi chi salwaysovercrowdedandtomake
thi
ngswor se, t
her eisnoplaceforexpansi
on.And
thefactthati thasonehospi tali
sshocking.Youar
e
royalpeople.Thi sisyourl
and,howcanyoul et
somet hi
ngl iket hishappen?Wher edoyoushop?”
hescr at
cheshi shead.

Kuhl
e:“Ishoul
d’veknownyouweregoingt
oatt
ack
t
heinfr
astruct
ure.
”Ilaughandshakemyhead.
Me:“
beser
iousbabe.
”
Kuhl
e:“wel
lmyfatherhasver
yhugeunutil
izedl
and
andwealsohaveourownland.Maybewecanbui l
d
amalleSi
phambanwenioreWhiteCit
y.”

Me:“
aser
iousmal
l?
”
Kuhl
e:“
wit
hyouast
hepr
incess,
Iam sur
ewecan
bui
ldast
ateoft
hear
tmal
l.
”
Me:“therearesomanyt hingsIwi
shIcando
becauseyoht hisplacei
ssounderdevel
oped.The
ri
chpeopl earen’
tdoinganythi
ngt
ohelpthepooror
upli
fteachother.”

Kuhl
e:“
whatmor
edoyouwannabui
ld?
”
Me:“apartfr
om ahospi
tal
,ski
lldevel
opment
cent
res.YouknowIam allaboutupli
fti
ngtheyout
h
sothattheycandobett
erforthemselves.
”
Kuhle:“
Iwi
llaskf
orameetingwit
hfatheraft
erour
honeymoonandmaybebyt henyouwould’vemade
sket
chesaboutal
lthesei
deasofyour
s.”Ismile.

Me:“
wear
est
il
lgoi
ngt
oourhoneymoon?
”
Kuhl
e:“t
hisi
syourf
ir
stmar
ri
age.Iwantyout
o
enj
oyitsomuch.
”
Me:“i
t’
snotonl
yaboutme.I
t’
salsoaboutyou.You
shoul
dalsoenj
oyt
hisuni
on.Secondti
meisluck.”
Kuhl
e:“yesi
tis.Especi
all
ywhenyouareget
ti
ng
marri
edtoyoursoulmate.”Hel
eansf
orwardand
ki
ssesme.
.
.
It
’sWednesdayaf t
ernoonandIam kakt i
red.
Somet i
mesIt hinkthesepeopl eforgett
hatIam
pregnant.Notthattheyar eslavi
ngmebutmybody
i
sst i
llt
ir
edfrom thef esti
vit
iesoftheweekendand
nowIshoul dbepr eparingforanotherevent.

Themot hersshowedmear oundthekingdom and

wevisit
edaf ewfamili
eswhi chwegavef ood
hamper sandsomebl anketssincewinteris
approaching.Ihaveheardhowcol dthisplacecan
geti
nwi nter.Notthatwhatwear edoingisextr
eme
buteversinceIgother e,Ihavebeenski ppingmy
middaynapandt hat’
snotheal th.

JustasIam aboutt
ocl
osemyeyesanddr
if
tto
sl
eepmyphoner i
ngs.Igruntandsi
tup.Itakeit
fr
om theni
ghtst
and.It
’sXoli
.Ihopeever
ythingi
s
okayathomeandatDCC.

Me:“
heyXol
i.
”
Xol
i:“
heybossl
ady.Ar
eyoubusy?
”
Me:“
no.what
’sup?
”shecl
ear
shert
hroat
.
Xoli
:“wellIknowthatMaywillbethelastmont h
thatIwil
lbewor ki
ngforyoubutitdoesn’thaveto
endliket
hat .
”

Me:“
whatar
eyousayi
ngXol
i?
”
Xoli
:“Iwouldl
iketobet
herecept
ionistoft
he
Joburgoff
icesift
heposi
ti
onhasn’tbeenfi
ll
edyet
.”
Me:“ohhokay.Youdon’twannabeahousewi
fe?
”
shechuckl
esnervousl
y.
Xol
i:“
Idon’
tthi
nkIcansur
vivet
hat
.”
Me:“okay.SendyourCVtoHRusingmyemai l
.
Thatwil
lguarant
eeyoutheposi
ti
on.Iam al
sosur e
Zahwouldlovetoworkwit
hsomeonef amil
iarli
ke
you.
”
Xoli
:“t
hankyousomuchboss.Nowgoonandt
ake
youraft
ernoonnapbecauseyourvoi
cei
s
demandingit.
”Il
augh.

Me:“
what
ever
.”Ihangupandsl
eep.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
[
03/
09,
08:
24] :CHAPTER88
*
**KUHLE*
**
Iam nol
ightsleeperbutIdefini
tel
ycanf eeli
twhen
someoneIam sl eepingwi
thisgettingoffthebed.I
si
tupandIf r
ownwhenIseemywi fewalkingtothe
doorweari
ngonl yhersil
kylongnightdressand
baref
oot
.Whatt hef ucki
sgoingon?Icheckt he
ti
meandIf r
ownwhenIseet hatit
’s1:40am.

Me:“ baby.”Shedoesn’ tanswerme.Shej ustopens

thedoorandheadsout .That’
sodd.Fut hyi sno
sleepwal ker
.Isthisrelatedtot hecoronati
ont hati
s
happeningt omor row?Iqui cklyclimboffthebed
andputonmysweat pant s,t
-shirtandsleepers.I
runaf t
erher .“Fut
hy!”If i
ndheront hehallway.She
i
saboutt oclimbof fthest ai
rs.Irushtoherand
holdher .“Babysnapoutofi t.”Shedoesn’ tlookat
me, shej ustlooksstraightahead.

“BABA!MA!”Ishoutver
yloudbecauseherbehavior
i
sveryalar
mingandscar r
ing.Wi
thi
nafewmi nutes
ever
yoneisinthehal
lwaylooki
ngatus.
Baba:“
Kuhl
ekwenzenj
ani
?”
Me:“
sheissleepwal
king.Shei
sn’
tsayi
nganyt
hing.
Shei
sjustst
arri
ngahead.”

MaShezi
:“l
ethergo.
”If
rownandl
ookather
.
Me:“ whatift
heyarebewit
chingherma?Ican’
tlet
hergo.Thisismywi f
e.Themot herofmyki
ds.I
can’tjustl
ethergowit
houtknowingwhereshei
s
going.”

MaShezi:“sheisnowprotect
edbytheZul
u
ancest
ors.Nothingi
sgoingtohappentoher
.Let
hergo.
”
Me:“f
ine.ButIam comingwithher.”Il
ethergoand
shedescendsthestai
rs.Iam r
ightbehindherj
ust
i
ncasesomet hinghappens.Myf amil
yfoll
owsus.

Wegetoutoft
hehousewithherl
eadingt
heway.
Whenwegettothegat
e,wearestoppedby
MthembubutFut
hyconti
nueswalki
ng.If
oll
owher
butIam st
oppedbyMt
hembu.

Mt
hembu:“
lethergo.
”If
rown.
Me:“
excuseme?
”
Mthembu:“sheissaf
eandshewillbeback
tomor
rowjustinti
mef ort
hecor
onati
on.Cal
m
downandgobackt osleep.
”

Me:“whati
fsheencount
erssnakes?Wher
eisshe
goi
ng?”
Mthembu:“ youdon’tneedtoknowthat.Your
mot herwentthr
ought hesamethingandlookather
nowst andingnexttoyou.Nothi
ngwillhappento
MaCel e.I
fsomethingbadwast ohappen, Iwoul
d’ve
seeni t
.Nowyoumayal lgobacktosleepandIwi ll
fol
lowher .
”

Me:“
but
…”dadhol
dsmyupperar
m.
Dad:“
let
’sgoi
n.”hel
eadsmebacki
nsi
det
he
house.
”
.
.
*
**FUTHY*
**
ItfeelslikeIam dr eamingbutatthesamet i
meI
cant ellthatIam notdr eaming.Igett
ot hi
sf l
owing
river.Iwaswal kingwi t
ht hi
soldbeautif
ulladybutit
seemsl ikeshehasdi sappeared.Iseear ocknextto
ther iverandIsitthere.WhileIam sit
ing,thewind
changesandi tsuddenl yblowshar dmakingthe
rivermovehar shlybutsomehowIam war m.

Someonecomesoutoft heriverandIfr
own
standingup.Thatpersoni sfol
lowedbytwoot
her
people.Ibli
nkrepeatedlyandthenopenmyeyes.
Thepeopl egettotheriverbankandIcannowsee
thattheyareoldwomen.Theysmi l
eandcometo
whereIam st andi
ng.

Woman1:“
youar
emor
ebeaut
if
uli
nper
son.
”I
smil
e.Idon’
tknowwhy,
butIf
eelsocomf
ort
abl
e
wit
hthesewoman.
Woman2:“andl
ooksver
yhealthy.Sher
emi
ndsme
ofmysel
fwhenIcametothepalace.
”

Woman3:“ youareblessed.
”Shest epsclosert
ome
andtouchesmybel l
y.Thebabieskickveryhard
andIgaspwhilegiggl
ing.Thisist
heirfi
rstti
me
ki
cki
ngandi tf
eelssomagi calandoverwhelming.

Me:“
sor
ryt
oask,
butwhoar
eyou?
”
Woman1:“Iam Nosi
zwe,
Kuhl
e’
sgr
eat
-gr
eat
gr
andmot
her.”
Woman2:“
Iam Cel
iwe,
Kuhl
e’
sgr
eatgr
andmot
her
.”
Woman3:“andIam Lubel
ihl
e,Kuhl
e’
s
gr
andmot
her.”

Me:“
you’
reXhosa?
”shel
aughs.
Lubel
ihl
e:“
theZul
umancoul
dn’
tresi
stmyXhosa
char
m.”Weal
llaugh.
Me:“
sowhyam Iher
e?”

Celi
we:“doyouevenhavet oask?
”Ilookather.
“Youarethechosenqueenforoursonandtodayi s
yourcoronat
ion.I
tisourdutyt
ocrownyouf i
rstand
str
engthenyoubeforeyougofaceyournati
onand
l
eadit.
”

Nosizwe:“youmaysi t.Wedon’ tmi ndstanding

becausewedon’ tgettired.”Isi
tbackont her ock
andt heystandonei thersidesofmewhi l
eNosi zwe
standsinfrontofme.“ Youar egoingtobeaqueen
soonandt hemot heroft henation.Iff
actmot herof
thewhol eworld.Don’tlimityourkindnesst oyour
kingdom only.Youar enownotonl ygoingtobe
l
ivingforyourselfbutforever yone.”

“Leadbyexampl
e.Wear
enotsayi
ngdon’thavef
un
butdon’
tdosomethi
ngt
hatwi
llt
arni
shyourname
andt heZuluname.Asmuchasyouar egoingto
l
eadt henation,yourfami
lycomesf i
rst.Al
waysbe
thereforyourhusbandandyourchi l
dren.Don’
tbe
anabsentmot herandwif
ejustbecauseofyour
princessduties.Lear
ntobalanceeverythi
ng.
”

Celi
we:“helpgr owt hisnation.Youhaveal lt
he
abi
li
tytodoso.Youar enotonlygoi ngtobet he
motheroft hechildrenf r
om yourwombbutever y
chi
ldoutther e.Kuhle’ssibli
ngsar enowyour
si
bli
ngs,mor eoveryourki ds.Whent heyneedyou,
bether
ef orthem.Al sobet hereforyourmot her-
in-
l
aws.Don’ tbesur prisedbyt hem comi ngtoyouf or
advi
cefrom t i
met ot ime,justprovideadvi
ceand
don’
tmakef unoft hem. ”

Lubeli
hle:“youneedt oknowallthecer emoniest
hat
aregoingt ohappenatt hepal
aceandwhati s
neededf orthem tobeasuccessandal l.Wedon’
t
seeKuhl etakingawi f
einthefuturesoyouar e
goingtobet hef i
rstwif
eofli
teral
lyallKuhle’
s
brother
s.Meani ngever
ywifethatmarr
iesi
nthe
Zulufamilyaft
eryouwillbeguidedbyyouand
taughteveryt
hingtheyneedtoknowbyyou.”

“Takenoteofever ythi
ngyourmot her-
in-
lawsar e
teachingyoubecausesoonyouwi l
lbeexpect edt
o
passdownt hesameadvi ce.Youarethepi l
larof
everywomant hatistocomet otheZuluf amil
y.We
knowt hatthisjobwon’tbediff
icul
tforyou.You
wer echosenf oragoodreason.Weknowyouwon’ t
failt
hiski
ngdom andyour self.
”

Nosizwe:“walkwithpri
de.Yourvoiceisnowt helaw.
Youcancommandpeopl etodowhatyouwant .I
t’s
notacr i
me.Youcanevencommandyourhusband.
Hemaybet heprincebutheisonlythatbecauseof
theblood.Wenayouwer echosenamongstmany
forthi
s.Youar especi
alandwealsor espectyou.
”I
smile.ShelooksupandIalsolookup.Thesuni s
ri
singnow.
Celi
we:“
youhavetogetr
eady.Come.
”Shet akes
myhandandIstandup.Sheleadsmeinsi
det he
ri
ver.
.
.
Aft
ersomet i
me, wegetoutoft
heriverandt hey
hel
pmegetdr essedi
naoneshoulderf orestgreen
A-l
inelongdressandMaCelebeadedt akkies.They
putallt
ypesofbeadsonmybody.Theyputon
i
ngwer oyalcl
otharoundmyshouldersandabl ack
i
nhloko.

Celi
we:“
youlookverybeaut
if
ulMaCel
e.”Ismi
le.
“Thi
sisyour
s.”Shehandsmebeadedknobker
rie.
Me:“
thankyouma.
”
Nosizwe:“
andthi
sisyours.
”Shehandsmea
beadedspear
.SeemslikeIam goi
ngtowar
.Ismi
le
agai
n.
Me:“
thanksma.
”
Lubeli
hle:“gonowPrincessMel aminaZulu.Youar
e
theli
vingancestor
.Youar epartofusnow.Youar e
standi
ngi nforusi
nthewor ldoftheli
ving.Know
thatanythi
ngyoudo,wewi l
lal
waysbea100%
behindyou. ”
Me:“
ngi
yabongamama.
”

Nosizwe:“
gonowanddon’ tl
ookback.”Ismi
leand
st
epf or
ward.Ifeelsoconfi
dentandIknowthatI
wil
lleadandtakethekingdom t
onewhei ght
s.
.
.
*
**NARRATED*
**
Themi nuteFuthystepsintot
hepal acegates
everyonestart
sulul
ating.Somear esayingZulu
cl
annamesandsomebayagi ya.Shei snotsmili
ng
orlookingatanyone.Sheisjustlookingahead.She
l
ooksatMt hembuwhoi sstandingatt hef
rontdoor
ofthepalace.Shebowsherheadal i
ttl
easasignof
greeti
nghim.
Mthembu:“Pri
ncessMel aminaZulu.Wel come
home.”Shegiveshim ali
ttl
esmil
e.“Followme. ”he
l
eadst hewayandtheybot hheadtot hethrone
room whereal
ltheZuluroyalsar
eat .Theyget
i
nsideandeveryonestandsupassoonast hey
enter
.TheygettothefrontandFuthykneel sbefor
e
theki
ng.

Fut
hy:“
BayedeZul
ukaMal
andel
a.”
Mthembu:“
mykingIpresenttoyouPr i
ncess
Melami
naoftheZuluKi
ngdom. ”Thekingtakesof
f
hi
scrownandplacesi
tont opofFuthy’
shat.

King:“
youar erecogni
zedmychi l
d.”Heput sback
hiscr
own.“ Nowst andupandgogr eetyour
husbandandt hengomakeanoat hinfr
ontofyour
peopl
e.”Shesmi lesandstandsup.Theot herr
oyals
goout,leavi
ngKuhl eandFuthyal
oneint hethrone
room.
Kuhle:“
Melamina.
”Futhybl
ushesandl
ooksdown.
“Youlookver
ybeauti
fulmyqueen.
”
Futhy:“youalsolookhandsomemyki ng.”Kuhle
smiles.Hei sdr
essedinawhi t
eturt
leneck,f
orest
greendr esspant
swi t
hamambat haandhi sleopar
d
royalclothonhisshoulder
s.Heisalsowearinghis
cowski ncrown.Hegivesherabr i
efkiss.

Kuhl
e:“
let
’sgo.Younat
ioni
swai
ti
ngf
oryou.
”

Theyheadout sidet owher ethecor onati

onistaking
place,i
nahugef ramet ent.Theygett hereand
peoplecheerwhent heyseet hem.Theymaket heir
wayt othefront.Shet akestheoathandwhenshe
i
sdoneshet akesherseatnextt oherhusband.The
festi
vit
iesstar
t.Ther eissinging,
danci ngand
poetrydonebyt hepeopl eoft hekingdom.Ther eare
j
our nal
istsandFut hy’sfamilyandbusi ness
associates.
Whenever yt
hingisdone,peopl
ear
eservedfood.
Futhystandsupandgoeswher ehi
sfamilyi
s
seated.Herfat
herstandsup.

Si
ya:“
shoul
dIbownowwhental
kingt
oyou?
”Fut
hy
l
aughsandpul
lshi
minf
orahug.
Jabu:“car
efulnottost
abmyhusbandwiththat
spear.
”Everyoneonthetabl
elaughswhi
let
hey
comeandhugFut hy.

Fut
hy:“
Iam sohappyt
hatyouguysmadei
ther
e.”
Lee:“
wewouldn’
tmi
ssthisf
oraworldt
ase.I
tis
i
mpor t
antt
oyousoi
t’
salsoimpor
tantt
ous.”
Noma:“
soyou’r
epr
incessnow.Nomor
epar
tyi
ng?
”
Fut
hychuckl
es.

Fut
hy:“
Icanhavef
unbuti
npr
ivat
e.”
Noma:“
wor
ksf
orme.
”ever
yonel
aughs.
Lel
e:“
Pri
ncessMelami
na.YourMajest
y.”Hi
m and
Gci
nobowcausingFut
hytolaugh.

Gcino:“soyouaregoingtobeShakaZulufort
he
restofyourli
fe?Car
ryingaspearever
ywhereyou
go?”Futhyroll
shereyes.
Fut
hy:“
you’
redr
amat
icyoungmanbutIl
oveyou.
”
Gci
no:“
loveyoumor
epr
incess.
”
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby
#Pr
incessMel
ami
na
[
03/
09,
08:
24] :CHAPTER89
Wedi dfinal
lygotoourhoneymoon.Wer eall
ywent
l
ocal.Wevi si
tedeveryprovi
nceandpeopl ewere
act
uallyhappyt oseeus.Theytr
eatedusl i
ke
cel
ebrit
ies.WellIst
il
lworemaxi dr
essesandwhen
someonesuspect edpregnancy,
wej ustsaidKuhle
i
streati
ngmesowel l.

Wedidmovet ohishouse.IalsotookK, Mabut ho

andThobekawithme.Gcinoi stheonel ookingafter
myhouseandhest ayswithahousekeepert here.I
havebeensobusyt hepastfewmont hs.Goi ngin
andoutofthecountrysi
gningcontractswi ththe
cl
ient
sIgotfrom t
heconference.Iam l uckyKuhl e
hasajetorel
setheywould’vehavel etmet akethe
fl
ight
sbecauseofhowbi gmybel lyis.

TheNongomahousepr ojectisnearl
yfinishedwi t
h
thebui
ldi
ng.Allt
hat
’sleftisinter
iordesigning.The
Mandlanzi
nihousei
sdonewi thi
nteri
ordesi gni
ng.I
j
ustneedtofurni
shitbutIwi lldothataftergivi
ng
bi
rth.Idon’
tknowtheprogressofthesecr
ethouse
becauseKuhlehasli
ter
all
yt akenover
.

Butalli
nallmyl ifehasbeenabli
ss.Marri
agelif
eis
great
.Whet herwear esti
lli
nthehoneymoonphase
ornot,Idon’tcare.Ij
ustl
ovemyl i
feri
ghtnow.I
tol
dthekingaboutmypl ansfort
hekingdom andhe
gavemeasi te.

Cur r
entl
ymymenar ebuildi
ngthehospi
talandthe
skill
sdevelopmentcent er.Whenwearedonewe
willstar
tonthemal landt arr
oadsonthevill
ages.
Thegover nmentisn’tdoinganythi
ngtodevelopthat
area,soit’
smyjobt odoso.

Ial
soopenedmyCapeTownandJobur gof
fi
ces
andwehavebeenr ecei
vingcli
entsmore.Iam even
workingonhavinganof fi
ceinEurope,Ameri
caand
i
nMexi co.Ihaveint
ernati
onalcli
entsnow,sothese
off
iceswillbegoodforthem.
Parenti
ngAmahl eandZwel ihasn’
tbeeneasy.Thi s
onetimeGar ycame, want
ingt ocl
aimt hekids.He
al
sosai dhewi l
ltakeKuhlet ocourtforkidnapping
hi
schi l
dren.Theyf ought,
li
kef i
stfi
ghtingbutt hey
fi
nall
ycamet oanagr eement.Kuhlesai dhewi ll
i
ntroducehimt otheki dsbutasanuncl e,hi
sfriend,
nottheirr
ealfat
her .Theywillexpl
aintot hekids
whent heyareolderbecauset heywillunderstand
well.

XoliandPhumudzodi dgetmarri
ed.Theywedding
wasver ybeauti
ful.Thei
rhoneymoonl ast
edfora
wholemont h.Xolihasbeendoingsuchagr eatj
ob
asar ecept
ioni
st.Iguessworkingformedi dher
goodbecausenowshei smor efreeandbubbly.

Zahli
ter
all
ywentcrazywhenIhandedhert heCEO
posi
ti
onoftheJoburgoffi
ce.Shewassohappyshe
l
it
eral
lycri
ed.Mbusowasal sohappythathisbaeis
nowli
vingwithhi
mi nJoburg.Theyar
est i
llver
y
muchinl
oveandt
heyar
eli
vingi
nMbuso’
s
mansi
on.

Wedi dgoandvi si
tThandoinLondon.Actuall
ywe
surpr i
sedherandshecr i
edbecauseshehadbeen
feelinghomesickforquit
esomet i
me.Sheshowed
ussomeofherwor kandImustsay,shei sver
y
tal
ent ed.Youcantellt
hatsheisaCele.InnotimeI
willbeor gani
zingabouti
queforherhereinSouth
Africawher eshecansellherworkbecauseit’
s
amazi ng.
.
.

Wegett othepalaceandli
ter
all
yeveryonecomeout
towelcomeus.Iam supposedt ogointol
abour
tomorrowandMaShezit ol
dmet ocomebackand
givebir
thinthepalacesi
nceroyalki
dsarealways
borninsi
dethepalace,unl
essit
’sreal
lyan
emergency.Theybombar duswithhugs.
MaDlomo:“owwmybaby.Youl ooksobeautif
ul.
”I
gi
ggle.Iam weari
ngacutandsewsmackdr ess
andsleeper
s.Alsoaheadwrapandascarfacross
myupperbody.

Me:“you’r
emocki ngmema.Il ookli
keaballoon.”
That’
strue.From asi
ze42t oasize46.WhenI
devel
opedst r
etchmarksIactual
lycri
edbutNoma
andLeecomf ortedme.Theyactuall
ymademef eel
socomf ort
ablewithmybodybecauseatt i
mesI
di
dn’tevenwannagetnakedi nfrontofKuhl
e.But
nowIjustlovemybody, exceptf
orthebabyf at
.

MaMolef
e:“Ihaveprepar
eddel
ici
oususunophut
hu
anduj
eqejustincaseyouar
enotfeel
ingusu.
”
Me:“yay!Let’
sgoi nsi
de.”Theylaughandwehead
i
nsidethehouse.Wegot ot hel
oungeand
MaMol ef
ebr i
ngsmef ood.Themaidstakeourbags
tot
hebedr oom.Ist ar
teating.“
Howisthehospit
al
andcenterprojectgoi
ng? ”
Mkhul
uli
:“ver
ywellsi
si.Thepeopl
ear
esohappy
t
hatyoudoingthi
sforthem.”
Me:“ Iwannamakel i
feeasi
erfort hem.Ihaveheard
thattheservi
cedeliveryatt
hecur renthospit
alisso
poor.Therehastobemobi l
eclinics.Imeanol d
peoplecan’tkeepgoingtothecl i
nicsandhospi t
al
fortheirmeds.Butwewi llt
alkaboutt hataf
ter
openingthehospital.
”

MaDl
omo:“youaredoingwhatwecoul
dn’tdof
or
manyyear
s.YouareindeedaGod’
ssent.
”
Me:“Iknowsomet imesyoucanwi shtodo
somethingbutthendon’thaveenough
encouragementfrom peopl
esurroundingyou.WellI
havesomanyvoi cesinmyheadwhi chencourage
met odobetter
,so.”Ishrugandtheylaugh.

Si
mingezwi
:“Idi
dn’
ttakeyouf
oracr
azyl
ady.
”
Me:“
wel
lnowyouknow.
”Theyl
aughagai
n.I
t’
s
al
waysgoodbeingathome.Kuhl
e’
sbr
othersare
cr
azyandther
eisneveradul
lmomentwit
ht hem.

Wechi llandt al
kaboutal otofthings.Weevenpl ay
videogamesatt hebasement .Mabut hot aughtme
howt opl aythem sothatIcanbeatKuhl e.Wellheis
unbeat abl ebutatleastIam notcl uel
ess.Thereis
thisnewgamehecr eatedwhi chhasmost l
ySouth
Africanact or
sassuper heroes.ItissocoolandI
l
ovepl ayingit.

WhenIam ti
red,Iheadtomyroom t
ot akeanap.
EvennowIstil
lhavemiddayandaft
ernoonnaps
butt
heyarel
ongernow.Igettomyr oom anddri
ft
tosl
eepassoonasmyheadhi t
sthepill
ow.
.
.
*
**KUHLE*
**
Iam wokenupbymywi femoani
ngandgr
oaning.
Sheissi
tti
ngonthecouchandshei
ssweati
nglike
crazy.Icl
imbofft
hebedandgetdr essedqui
ckl
y.I
knowt hatshei
sinlabournow.Igoandsquatin
fr
ontofher .

Me:“
howf
arar
eyoucont
ract
ions?
”
Fut
hy:“
10mi
nut
esapar
t.
”Inod.
Me:“
getupandl
et’
sgot
othedel
iver
yroom.
”

Futhy:“
Idon’tt
hinkIcanwal
k.Iam i
npain.”Igo
andopent hedoor.It
hencomeandpickherupand
takehertothedeli
ver
yroom.Iguessever
yonehas
wokenupbecausewhenIt urn,
Iseemymot her
s
enter
ingthedeli
veryr
oom.

MaDubazane:“ areyouokayMel a?”sheshakesher

head.“Gonowmyson.Wewi l
lcal
lyouagai nwhen
weneedyou. ”Anothertr
aditi
oninourf amil
yisthat
everypregnantfemaledel
iversthr
oughwat erbir
th.
Iheadoutandgot othel
ounge.Mybr other
s,f
ather
andunclesjoinme.
Nqaba:“
it
’sr
aini
ngout
side.
”
Mkhulul
i:“andi
t’
sshowi
ngsi
gnsoft
hunderand
l
ight
ning.”
Sbo:“t
hat’
swhathappenswhenaf i
rstbor
nisbor
n.
Therewil
lbever
yhardthunderandli
ghtni
ng.
”

Wesi tdownandt hemaidsserveuswhi skey.Ijust

optforcoffee.Icri
ngewhenIheadmywi fe’
s
screamsandcr i
es.Ireal
lywisht obebyhersi deat
thisti
mebutIshoul dn’tbethere.It
’sanother
tradi
ti
on.Hour sandhour sofscreami ngandcr ying,
thecriesdiedown.Bynowr ainisfall
inghardand
thethunderismaki ngsomuchnoi sewhi let
he
l
ightningiskeepingeveryoneont heirtoes.

Iheardist
antcr
iesofinf
ant
sandIl i
ter
allyrunto
thedel
iveryr
oom.Igetther
eandf i
ndmy
KaMahlabaandMaDl omocarryi
ngtwoi nfant
s.
MaSheziandMaDubazanear ehelpi
ngmywi feout
oft
hebat
htub.

MaMol efe:“
carryhert
othebedsothatIcansti
ch
herup.”MaMol efei
sami dwi
feorwasami dwife
butstoppedwor ki
ngwhenshemar ri
edmyf at
her.I
gotomywi feandcarr
yhertothebed.Ipl
aceher
onthebed.Sheseemst obesl
owlylosi
ng
consciousness.

Me:“
shei
slosi
ngconsci
ousness.
”
MaMol ef
e:“l
etmeatt
endtoherqui
ckl
y.”Shedoes
hert
hing.IgotoKaMahl
abaandMaDlomo.

Me:“
what
’st
hegender
?”
MaDl
omo:“
aboyandagi
rl
.Doyouwantt
oname
t
hem?”
Me:“
wewi
llwai
tfort
hei
rmot
her
.CanIhol
dthem?
”
KaMahl
aba:“onl
yforafewseconds.Weneedt
o
cl
eananddressthem upcomf
ortabl
y.”
Me:“ okayma.”It
akethebabyi nherar msandmy
motherhandsmet heot herone.Onebabyl ooks
exactlyli
kemewhiletheot herlooksl i
keFuthy.
Theyhavesomesamef eaturesbutt heytookfr
om
bothofus.Ifeelt
earsfalldownmycheeksandI
don’teventr
ytostopthem.Thi sisahappymoment
forme.Iam holdi
ngmyowncr eati
on,mybl oodin
myhandsandIcoul dn’tbehappi er
.Thankyou
MaCel efort
hiswonderfulgift.You’
resucha
phenomenalwoman.
.
.
.
#Mi
ssChubby

Thankyousomucht othosewhohavealready
subscr
ibed.Keeponsubscr
ibi
ngbahl
ali
[
03/
09,
08:
25] :CHAPTER90
*
**FUTHY*
**
IwakeupandIl ookaround.Seemsl i
keIam ina
hospi
talroom.Butt hi
slooksl i
kenoordinar
yroom.
Andtheni thi
tsme.Iam att hepalaceandthisi
s
thedeli
veryroom.Bi t
sandbi tsofwhathappened
l
astnightcomesbackandIsmi leali
tt
lewhenI
rememberdel i
veri
ngmybabi es.WhenIam about
tosi
tup, Nompilomakesherwayi nsi
demywar d.

Nompilo:“
eveningsi
si.Letmehelpyousi
tup.
”she
comesandadj ust
sthebedandt henput
sanextr
a
pil
lowonmyback.“ Howar eyou?”
Me:“
numb.I
t’
sal
readyeveni
ng?
”
Nompilo:“
yesandyourpar
ent
sandsi
bli
ngsar
e
her
e.”Ismile.
Me:“t
hat’
sgoodt
oher
e.Butwher
ear
emybabi
es?
”
shechuckl
es.

Nompi lo:“
ofcoursetheyarethefi
rstpeopleI
should’vetol
dyouaboutt heminut
eIent er
edthe
ward.Wel lmom isbathi
ngthem.Shei sgoingto
bri
ngt hem hereassoonast heyaredressed.
”
Me:“
Ial
soneedt
obat
h.If
eelsost
ickyandal
l.
”

Nompilo:“
okayletmehelpyouup.
”shehelpsme
offt
hebed.Mybodyf eel
ssoheavy.Ibat
hand
changeint
oawar m ni
ghtgown.It
henret
urntot
he
bedandIsmi l
ewhenIseemom sitt
ingonachai
r
i
nsidetheward.
Me:“makaLwandl
e.”Shesmi
lesandst
andsup.
Shecomestohugme.
Mom:“
howar
eyoubaby?
”

Me:“Iam deadt
ir
edma.
”Igot
othebedandl
ie
down.
Mom:“
youshoul
dbe.Imeanyoupushedouttwo
bi
gZul
uheadsonyourown.Thati
sti
ri
ngbaby.”
Kuhle:“ahhmybabiesdon’
thavebi
gheadsma.”He
saysent er
ingthewar
dwitht
wobabiesi
nhisar
ms.
Mom l aughs.

Mom:“
trut
hhur
ts.
”Shest
andsupandheadsout
.
Kuhl
e:“heymommy. ”Hesayshandingmeone
babywhoiswearingpink.Shei
ssobeauti
ful
.She
i
spouti
ng.Itakeherint
omyar msandsmilewhen
sheyawns.Sheisli
keanangel.Soperf
ect
.

Me:“hel
lomyprincess.”Iki
ssbothhercheeksand
sheopenshereyes.“Shehasmyeyes. ”Ibeam wit
h
j
oyandexcit
ement .Iknowmyeyesar ewei rdbut
mybabyhavingthem meanst heworldtome.
“Zobuhl
ekamamakhel ona.”Iki
ssherpout yli
ps
andsheopenshermout h.“
Aww.Ismypr incess
hungry?
”
Kuhle:“
yes.Youshouldfeedher
.”If
eedherand
whenshei sdone,Ibur
pher.Kuhlet
akesherand
handsmet heotherbabywhoisdressedi
nblue.
Me:“
wow.Thi
sissowei
rd.
”Hel
aughs.
Kuhl
e:“
howso?
”

Me:“Zobuhl
elooksl
ikeyouwhi
let
hepr
incel
ooks
exact
lyl
ikeme.”
Kuhl
e:“
theseki
dsar
est
range.
”
Me:“ Iam notsurpri
sed.Imeant heirparentsare,
wellal i
tt
lebitnotnormal.
”Hel aughsagai n.Ikiss
mypr i
nceandheopenshi seyes.Hel ooksso
handsomeandpeacef ul.“
Wemakebeaut ifulbabi
es
shame.Wedeser veandawar d.”Hel aughs.
“Manel i
sikamamakhendzena. ”Ikisshi smout h
repeatedlyandhel i
ckshisli
ps.Ilaugh.

Kuhle:“
Zobuhl
eandManel isi
.Ili
ter
all
ydon’
thave
secondnamesandt hepensionersgaveusf
reedom
tonameourchil
drenfreel
y.”Ichuckl
e.
Me:“Zobuhl
eLiyanaZulubecauseitwasraining
whenshewasbor n.Manel
isiNkosi
yaboZulu
becauseheisgoingtobetheirki
nginthefuture.
”

Kuhl
e:“
beaut
if
ulnamesmyqueen.
”Ismi
le.
Me:“
wel
lIai
mtopl
easemyki
ng.
”
.
.
Wear enowsi t
tingwiththewhol efamilyatthe
l
oungeandZwel iispl
ayingwithhi sbrotherwhi
le
Amahlei spl
ayingwi t
hhersisterwhoi si nLi
sa’
s
arms.It’
sthefollowi
ngdayandt hefami l
yisgoing
tohavesomeki ndofacel ebratoryfeast,wel
coming
thetwinsint
othewor ld.

KaMahlaba:“
soyoubot
hcameupwi
thsuch
beaut
if
ulnames?”
Me:“
wedi
dma.
”
Kuhl
e:“
act
ual
lyshedi
d.Iwoul
dlovet
otakepar
tthe
cr
editbutmywif
eissuchageni
usi
nal
laspect
sof
l
if
e.”Ibl
ushandlookdown.

Sbo:“
ncooh.Newmommyi
sbl
ushi
ng.
”
Ki
ng:
“leavemydaught
eral
oneSi
bongi
seni
.”
Sbo:“
your
eal
lydi
dn’
thavet
ocallmebymyf
ull
namedad.
”Hesaysandwelaughathi
m.

Noma:“
tasemaywehaveawor
dwi
thyou?
”
Me:“ ohhokay.”Ist
andupandl eadthem t
othe
sit
tingroom.Theyattackmewi thagrouphugas
soonaswer eachthesit
ti
ngroom.Ihearsnif
fsand
Ialsofeelmyownt earsrol
li
ngdownmycheeks.
“Guysst opmakingmeemot ional.
”Isaybr
eaking
thehugandwi pi
ngmyt ear
s.

Lee:“wear ejustsohappyf oryou.Youhavebeen

blessedwi thsomuchi nli
fethatwewoul dn’tbe
shockedi fyouwer et
or et
ir
e.”Ilaughwhil
ewi pi
ng
myt ears.“Lastyeart
histi
mewewer epart
yingand
havingnocarei
ntheworl
d.Wedidn’
teventhi
nk
thatoneofuswouldbemarr
iedt
hefoll
owingyear
buthereweare.
”

“Youaresuchani nspir
ati
on.Lookatyoui nspiri
nga
thi
rt
yyearoldwomanandyourbestf r
iendt odo
moreinli
fe.BecauseofyouIwannadomor ethan
j
ustbeat herapist
.Iwannahaveor ganizati
onsal l
overSouthAf r
icawhichhelppeoplewiththeir
mentalhealt
hpr obl
emsf orfr
ee.Iwannadomor e.I
wannahaveabi dimpactonthesociety.”

Noma:“ Ihavedeci dedtobranchoutmyl awf i

rm.I
am lookingint
opl acesinVenda, Lesotho,Mafikeng,
SwazilandandBl oemf ont
ein.Allthisi
sbecauseof
you.Youmaket hingshappensof lawl
esslyand
easy.Peoplemayt hinki
t’
smagi cbutweknowt hat
youdedi cat
eyour selfi
nfi
nishingapr ojectonce
youstartit.
”

“
Youi
nspi
repeopl
efr
om t
eenst
opensi
oner
s.You
aregoalsandthef actthatyouaren’tr
estingaf t
er
mar ryi
ngint
oroyaltyissuchat urnonitself.We
l
oveyousomuchandweknowt hatyouar enowa
mot herandawife.Wear enotgoingtobebi t
chy
aboutyounotbeingt hereforusbecauseweknow
thatyouloveusandi fitwereupt oyou,youwoul d
bethereforus24/7.”Inodandwi pemyt ear s.

“Iwantyout onotf orgetyoursel

f .Youar
eamot her
andawi feandapr incessbutfirstyouareFuthy.
Don’tneglectyourselfbecauseofyourot herduties.
Learntobal anceever yt
hingsothatyouwon’ tend
upwi t
hregr etsi
nthenearf ut
ure.”

Lee:“
wej
ustl
oveyousomucht
ase.
”Isqueeze
them.
Me:“Iloveyousomuchandt hankyouforalways
beingthereforme.Thankyouf orremindi
ngme
what’simportanti
nmyl if
ewhenwewer estil
lin
varsi
ty.Thankyouf ornotl
aughingatmyvi si
onand
dreams, f
ornotseeingthem asfarf
etchedand
delusi
onal
.Thankyouforbei
ngmypil
lari
ntough
ti
mesandt hankyouforj
ustbei
ngmyfri
ends
becauseIwouldn’
ttr
adeyouguysf
ornothi
ng.I
l
oveyou.”

Noma:“
wel
oveyout
oot
ase.
”
Lee:“
andwewoul
dn’
taskf
orabet
terf
ri
end.
”

Kuhleandmybabi esmaybet hemosti mpor tant

peopleinmyl if
er i
ghtnowbutLi ndelwaand
Nomal angawi l
lalwaysbemyr ideordi ebitches,
mynon- bloodrelatedsisters,
mybestf ri
ends, my
pi
llar
sandmosti mpor tantl
ymyf r
iends.Having
fr
iendsliketheseint hi
slifeti
mei spricel
ess
becauseyouknowt hatnomat terwhat ,t
heyal ways
haveyourbackandyouhavet hei r
s.Theywi l
l
al
waysbel oyalt
oyou, nomat terwhat .TO
FRIENDSHI PANDEVERLASTI NGLOVE.

*
***
*THEEND*
***
*