CAUSE & EFFECT ESSAY:

The Internet has transformed the way information is shared and

consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before.

What are the most serious problems associated with the Internet and
what solutions can you suggest?

OUTLINE

Introductory Paragraph

- The internet has revolutionised communication and information-

sharing/negative aspects . This essay will outline the problems
associated with the internet and suggest ideas to deal with those
issues.

Body Paragraphs

Problems

- Anonymity

Internet users can easily conceal their identity and even impersonate
others

-> Many crimes such as identity theft and child abuse / criminals can
operate anonymously online

- Younger ones spend too much time on websites and lack face-to-
face communication

-> it can become an addiction creating both physical and mental issues.

Solutions

- some awareness program regarding the consequences of disclosing more

personal information

- Governments should ensure that adequate legislation and controls are in

place
- Parents need to closely monitor the activities of their children and
restrict their access to the internet

- Children should be educated to realize the implications of Internet

addictions and also should be encouraged to engage in outdoor activities.

Concluding Paragraph

the internet is an amazing technological innovation that has transformed

people’s lives / the main problems caused by the Internet are related to
crime and addiction

DRAFT 1

There is no doubt that the internet has revolutionised communication

and information-sharing with a high pace among the people. Unfortunately,
this development brings about a lot of negative aspects for people. The
following essay will outline the problems associated with the internet and
try to put forward some possible solutions.

One of the most serious problems is anonymity, as internet users can

easily conceal their identity and even impersonate others. Many crimes
such as identity theft and child abuse result from the ease with which
criminals can operate anonymously online. In recent years, we have also
faced thousands of cases relating to disclosure to the whole profile of an
individual on social media that caused them into trouble with losing their
money on bank accounts, being blackmailed with bad things which make the
victims suffer from mental breakdown.

Research shows that excessive Internet use may create a heightened

level of psychological arousal. However, more people, especially younger
ones, spend too much time on websites and lack face-to-face
communication and do not socialize. As a result they become addicted to
the internet, thereby losing their health.

Some possible remedies in order to tackle this problem is to be more

careful about putting their personal information on the internet.
Furthermore, parents have to keep tough control over their children,
encourage them to engage in outdoor and community activities.
Additionally, children should be educated to realize the implications of
Internet addictions and learn teamwork and social skills essential for later
life.

To conclude, the internet is an amazing technological innovation that has

transformed people’s lives, but not without negative impacts. However,
with the right action by individuals, governments and businesses we can
minimize them.

CONTENT (IDEA Vocabulary Grammar and Linking

DEVELOPMENT) Sentence
Structure

I think your comprehensible I hardly see any I suggest that

perspective is and diverse mistake with the you can add
quite vocabulary. I grammar or transition words
interesting, but just think that u sentence in paragraph 3,4
maybe you can should replace structure. You’ve Anyway, your
develop it by the highlighted done a great job sentences and
adding more part and this here ideas are well-
convincing would be linked, the way
examples to perfect you use
strengthen your conjunctive
mainpoint words is good,
too.

DRAFT 2

There is no doubt that the internet has revolutionised communication

and information-sharing with a high pace among the people, unfortunately,
this development brings about a couple of negative aspects. The following
essay will outline the problems and recommend some possible solutions.

First, as we all know the Internet’s capacity to offer its users a minimum
of a modicum of anonymity is, theoretically, one of its greatest strengths.
Without it, dissident, marginalized, and otherwise ignored populations
couldn’t make their voices heard. But at the same time, many crimes such
as identity theft and child abuse can be operated. These crimes damage
estimates around billions of dollars annually and also human cost in terms of
ruined reputations, loss of trust and general deterioration in morals is
immeasurable. Additionally, online social networking has a significant effect
on people’s physical and mental state. Research shows that Internet use
can possibly result in the user experiencing health problems like
depression, OCD, low family relationships and anxiety. However, nowaday,
more people, especially younger ones, spend an excessive amount of time
on websites and lack face-to-face communication and do not socialize.

The issues caused by the use of the Internet show that it is necessary to
improve the culture of effective Internet usage in society and families using
appropriate education. Parents need to keep tough control over their
children, encourage them to engage in outdoor and community activities.
Children should be educated to comprehend the implications of Internet
addictions and learn teamwork and social skills essential for later life.
Furthermore, it’s necessary for countries to become more agile in updating
or developing national cybersecurity strategies, as well as legal and
regulatory framework regarding cyberspace.

To conclude, the internet is an amazing technological innovation that has

transformed people’s lives, but not without negative impacts. However,
with the proper action by individuals, governments and businesses we will
minimize them.