SI

MBONGI
LE'
SJOURNEY
Bei
ngahousewi
fewasmypr
off
essi
on2

10y
ear
spr
ior
.

Theywer
eallgat
her
edi
nthel
ounge,
hav
inga
fami
lymeet
ing.

Thokozani :"Iknowt heki dsar enotmineby

bloodbyt hatdoesn'tmeanany t
hingtome,
Yester dayImadeapr omi setomywi fethatI'd
raiset hem,I'dtakecareoft hem sopleasedon't
makemebr eakthatpromi se.Al
lowmet ostay
witht hem, theywillvi
sitany ti
mey ouwantt hem
to,youcanal sov i
sitj
ustl ikeyoudidwhen...you
know, whenOy i wasstill
wi t
hus.Ilov
et hem
l
iket heywer emyown"
Londekawi
pedof
fhert
ear
s.

Londeka:"
Mysi st
erdiedahappywoman
Thokozani
,Iknownowmor ethanev
ert
haty
ou
l
ovedherandf orthatIt
hankyou"

Hewassot i
redofcry
ing,
henowwant
edtobe
str
ongfort
hekids,
asmuchashewantedt
ocry
buthehadtostophi
mself.

Mvel
o:"OkaySf
isoyoual
sohav
easayint
his,
doyouall
owThokozanit
ost
aywit
htheki
ds?"

Sfiso:
"ImeanIwouldalsoloveraisi
ngmyki ds
butIcan'
tbethatsel
fi
sh,I'
veseenhowy ou
l
ov edmykidsbefor
eOy idi
edandhowy oulove
them nowandIseehowbr okeny ouaresoI
can'tt
akeawaytheli
tt
leremindery ouhavefor
Oy i
ntando,t
hekids.Ihav
enoprobl
em,youcan
staywi t
hthem.YouandIwil
lhavetowork
togetheronhowwegoaboutt hi
s"

Thokozanirel
easedthesighhedi
dn'
tknowhe
washolding,asighofrel
i
ef.

Thokozani
:"Thankyou,
thatmeansalott
ome.I
promiseI'
l
ltakecar
eofthem t
hebestwayI
can"

Tk'
smom: "
OkayseeingthatPhakadeisst
il
l
young,youwon'tbeabl
etocope.Iwill
stayher
e
withyousothatIcanhel
py ou"

Tk'
sDad:
"Andwhowi
l
ltakecar
eofmeback
home"
Theyalll
aughed,
forthefi
rstt
imesi
nce
yest
erdaytheyl
aughedbecauseofhowmuch
ofacrybabyMrDl amini
is.

Tk'
smom: "
Haii
ibabamysonneedsmemore,
I
'l
lcomebackwhenthebabyi
satleast3
monthsol
dandreadyt
ohaveananny "

Thokozani:"
Thanky ouMa.IknowIwantt o
staywiththekidsandallthatbutIthi
nkit'
salso
fairi
fweaskt hem i
ftheydowantt ostaywit
h
me, causeIdon'twantthem feel
ingli
ketheyare
forced.
"

Londekanoddedandwenttocal
ltheki
ds,they
al
lcameandSbani wentt
ositonThokozani'
s
l
ap.
Mvelo:"
Mybabi es,weweretal
ki
nghereabout
whowilltakecareofyou,
yeswewi l
lal
ltake
car
eofy oubutwewoul dli
ketoknowwhodo
wanttostaywith?"

Sbani
:"Iwantt
ost
aywi
thuncl
eTk"

Si
mbongi
l
e:"
I'
m al
sohappyt
ost
aywi
thuncl
e
Tk"

Oluhl
e:"
Wehav egr ownclosertouncl
eTk, he
hasbecomeaf athertous,daddon'tgetme
wrongyouarealsoourfatherandwel oveyou
butwealsolov
euncl eTkandf orusIthinkit
'
s
bestwestaywithhim"

Tk'
stear
sdropped,hesil
ent
lymadeapromise
tohi
mselft
onev erdi
sappoi
ntt
heseki
ds,t
hey
bel
i
evei
nhi
m.

Mvel
o:"
Okayset
tl
ed,
uncl
eTKal
sowant
sto
st
aywit
hyou"

Theyall
wentandsqueezedthemsel
vestohim,
al
lthr
eeofthem.Ol
uhleandSbanionhislap
andSimbongil
eonthecouchbutsl
eepi
ngon
hi
sshoulder
.

Laterafterthemeet
ing,
ever
yonehadl
eft
.Onl
y
fewfami lymembersremai
nedandhel
pedout
wit
hcl eaning.

Mkhusel
iwal
kedtoThokozani'
sroom and
f
oundhimlooki
ngatthephotosofOyintando,
wi
thhist
earsdr
oppi
ng.
Hestoodatt
hedoorqui
etl
y,hopi
ngnott
o
di
stur
bhim.

Af
tersometi
meThokozanilookedup,
hef
ound
Mkhusel
il
eaningagai
nstt
hedoor .

Thokozani
:"Baf
o"

Mkhu:"Bafo,
I'
m sor
ryaboutMaMbat ha.I
promi
sey ouI'
ll
makesureIfi
ndj ust
iceforher
,I
needyoutogivemeSamkel i
siwe'snumbers"

Thokozanisi
ghedandgav ehi
mt hephone,
he
scrol
l
edthroughthecontact
sandfinal
l
yfound
them.Hesavedthem onhisphonethensat
nexttohi
sheartbrokenbrot
her.
Thokozani:"
Thedoctorsai
dPhakadeshouldbe
homei ntwot othr
eeweeksfr
om now,Ihaveto
preparehisnurser
yandgoshopforever
ythi
ng
hewi l
lneed"

Mkhuseli
:"I
'
llaskmom towr i
temedown
ever
ythi
nghewi l
lneedthe.I
'l
lgoshopping,
don'
tworryaboutthenurser
y,I'
l
lfi
ndthebest
i
nter
iordesi
gnerforthat
"

Thokozani
noddedandt
hankedhi
sbr
other
.

*
Fourweeksl
ater
*

Itwasexactl
yamont hsinceOyintandopassed
on,thepai
ntoThokozani wasstil
lverymuch
newbuthet ri
edhisbesttobetheref ort
hekids
evenemotionall
y.Phakadewasf i
nall
yhome
andThokozani
'
smom mov
edi
nwi
tht
hem.

MEANWHI
LEI
NCAPETOWN.

Samkel i
siwe'sphonerang, i
twasanunknown
number .Shewasst i
llscaredofwhatshedid,
sheknewt heywerelookingforherasthe
waiterhasbeendeal twi t
h,sheknowshesang
l
ikeacanar yt
heref
oret hereisnowaythey
wouldnotl ookforher,shehadt opackherbags,
takeherbabyandr unf orherlif
e.

Shel
ookedattheri
ngi
ngphoneandthoughtf
or
awhi
le,
whetherornotshoul
dsheanswer.

Shedeci
dedagai
nsti
t,shedeci
dednott
o
answer
.
Lat
eronamessagecamet
hrough
"
I'
m out
side,
fakeI
Dandpasspor
tsr
eady
"

Shewentandl
ookedthr
ought
hewindowfi
rst
andi
tsurewasthemanhespoket
o,shel
ether
i
n.

Man:
"Ev
ery
thi
ngi
sinher
e,mymoneypl
ease"

Shegavehimt heenvel
opethathadmoney,she
hadnootherchoicebuttochangeheri
denti
ty.
Themanleft,shedidn'
twasteti
me,shebooked
thef
ir
stfl
ighttoCanada.

*
PRESENTDAY*

I
t'
sexact
ly10y
ear
ssi
ncet
hei
rmom di
ed,
they
havegr ownandit'
sall
thankst
oThokozaniwho
didn'
tgobackonhi sword,het
ookcareofthem,
sacri
fi
cedal otf
orthem andst
il
li
s.Oluhl
eis
now25y ear
soldanddoingherfi
naly
earin
medicine.
Si
mbongi l
eis19y earsoldyearsol
danddoi ng
hi
ssecondy earinv ar
sit
ybutalsohelpspeople
wit
hpr obl
emst heycomeacr osswithinl
ife,be
i
tsicknesses,theirmarri
agesorlif
eingeneral,
hecomeshi ghlyr ecommended.
Sbanii
s16y earsoldandsti
l
l ver
ymuchi nhi
gh
school
,sheisdiff
erentfr
om hersibl
ings.She
l
ovesallt
hingsglamorousandshe' sint
omedi a,
apartf
rom schoolsheisaTVpr esenter.
Phakade,well
Phakadei
sonly10year
sold,he
hasgrowntobeagoodboy ,
wholooksexactl
y
l
ikehisdad,heisi
nthe5t
hgradeatschool
.

Mkhusel
iandThokozani
tri
edal
ltheycoul
dto
l
ocateSamke, buteachatt
empthadlooseends,
Thokozani
finall
ydecidedtol
etgobecausehe
wantedtomov eonandf ocusonbei
ngabet t
er
fat
hertohi
ski ds.

Thi
sishowSimbongi
le'
sJourneybegi
ns,
you
hav
eanideaofwhat'
shappeningnowbutmore
i
syettocomeaswego.

#Unedi
ted
#Goodmor
ning

Si
mbongi
l
e'sJour
ney
I
nser
t1.

*
Simbongi
l
e*
Theyusual l
ysayy oucan' tremembermost
thi
ngst hathappenedwheny ouwer ey oung, but
withme, Irememberal mostev ery
thingt hat
happenedwhenIwasy oung.Iwasconf usedas
tohowIcommuni catedwi thmygr eat
grandparentsandmygr andparentsbutnowi t
allmakessense, Ihav egrownt ounder standmy
l
ifeandsi t
uat ionbetter.AuntSnet hembaal so
helpedmet hroughi t,
wel lAuntSnet hembai s
mydad' swi fe,theybeenmar ri
edf or9y ears
andt heyhav e2ki dstoget her
.Ourf ami l
yhas
grownal otbecausewear ealsoclosewi t
h
Lwandl eandMpi lo,t
heyar emydad' stwinboy s
andt heyarej ust6y earsold.
AnywayatthemomentI'
m atresbutIcan't
seem t
ofocus,
eversi
nceIhadadr eam ofagi
rl
who'st
hesameageasme, appar
entl
yI'
llmeet
herandshehasal
ltheanswersIneed.
Ij
ustf
eel
li
kegoi
nghomef
ort
heweekend,
whenI'
m homeI'm abletoconnectmorewit
h
myancestor
s,I
'm abletotal
ktothem andget
answer
squickl
y.
Ial
sogetthevibet
hatmymom i snotrest
ingin
peace,
it'
ssomethi
ngthatIal
sohavetodiscuss
wit
hdadohdadbei nguncl
eTK, ov
erthepast
10yearswe'v
egrowntocallhi
m dad.

*
Oluhl
e*

Imissmydadsomuch,todayIdeci
dedI
'
m not
sl
eepingatt
heapar
tment,
I'
m goi
nghome.
Zwel
i:
"Butbabyy
ouwerehomelastweek,
can'
t
wespendsometi
metoget
her
?"

Zwelii
smyboy
fri
end,
we'
vebeent
oget
herf
or3
year
snow.
Me: "
ZweImissmydad, heisl
onel
yandas
muchasheinsiststhatweshouldnotworry
abouthi
m,Ican'thel
pit.If
eell
ikeIshoul
d
checkonhi
m everynowandagai n."

Zweli
:"YahIknowbutSbanii
sthere,
she'l
ll
et
youknowwheny ourdadisnotokaybabe"

Yoohthisguy,
I'
m ser
iousl
ynotdoi
ngthi
swit
h
him,Iwanttogohomet omydadandI'l
ldoj
ust
that
.Ilef
thimther
eandwenttogetmybag,I
haveclot
hesathomesononeedt opackabag.
Hef
oll
owedmeandhel
dmywai
st.

Zweli
:"Youmadatmenow?Wewer
est
il
l
tal
ki
nglove"

Me:
"I'
m notmadaty
ou,
Ijustdon'
tunder
stand
youatt i
mes, Thatmanr aisedmysi bl
ingsandI
whenourmom passedon, hechosetodedi cat
e
10year sofhisl if
et ous, withoutanywomani n
hisl
ife,I'
m 25, mybr otheri s19,Sbaniis16and
Phakadei s10t el
lmewhi chmancandot hat?
Letalonet hef actthatwear enothis
biol
ogicall
y ,
onl yPhakadei s.I
..
.Il
ovemydad
Zweliandi fIhadt ochoosebet weenyouand
him,Iwoul dn'thesitat
et ochoosehi m"

Iwasget ti
ngemot i
onal,Idon'
tknowwhybutI
sometimeswi shmom wasst il
lali
ve,asmuch
aswewer erai
sedwel l
,AuntNdekaandUncl e
Mv el
oar esti
ll
verypresentinourlivesbutIst
il
l
wishforherpresence,herlovewasdi ff
erent
andImi ssthatki
ndofdi ff
erentlove.

Zweli
:"Hey.
..
.heybabydon'tcr
y,I
'm sor
rymy
l
ove.Ididn'
tmeant oupsetyou,y
oucangosee
dad"

Hebr
oughtmei
ntoawar
m hug.

*
Simbongi
l
e*

Ifi
nall
ygothomeanddadwasi ntheki t
chen
cookingwit
hSbani sndPhakadewhowasn' t
doingmuchr eal
l
y ,
theywer eevensinging.Ij
ust
stoodther
elookingatt hem,Iwonderwhatdi d
wedot ohaveamanl ikehiminourlives,he
l
ov esusli
kehisown, het ur
nedandsmi led
whenhehi seyeslandedonme.

Dad:
"AhhMf
ana,
youher
e?"

Me:
"Yeahy
eah,
itget
slonel
yatRessoI
thoughtIshoul
dcomespendt
heweekendher
e
athome, Li
ghthow'
sit
?"

Li
ghti
sSbani
,that
'
swhatIcal
lher
.

Sbani
:"I
'
m goodbroandbondi
ngwit
hdaddy
andPhakade,
it'
sgoodt
hatyouhome"

Me:
"I'
m sohungr
y,whatar
eyouguy
scooki
ng?
"

Sbani
:"Wemadepast
a,I
'
lldi
shupi
naf
ew"

Dadputthedi
shcl
othont hecounterand
wal
kedwi t
hmetothelounge,Phakademade
sur
etofoll
owusandlefthersi
sterther
e.

Sbani
:"HawuP,
youal
sol
eav
ingmei
nher
e?"
Phakade:
"Ki
tchensaremeantf
orwomen,
I'
m
fol
l
owingmen.Sorrysis"

Welaughed,hedoesn'
ttal
kmuchbutwhenhe
doestal
k..
.wow.

"
Hel
l
loooo"

Thatcanonlybeoneper
sonandi
t'
snoneot
her
thanOluhl
e.

Shecamei nandgav emeandPhakadehugs

thendadthelongesthugandaki
ssonthe
cheek,hechuckl
ed.

Ol
uhl
e:"
Heybabami
"(Mydad)
Dad:
"Myangel
,Idi
dn'
tknowy
ouwer
ecomi
ng"
.

Ol
uhl
e:"
Imi
ssedy
ousohey
..
.Ij
ustnj
ehey
"

Welaughed,shejustnj
ehey .Ilookedather
,
somethi
ngwasof fwithher,therewas
somethi
ngIseeandi tisconnectedtothe
womant hatki
ll
edmom.

Ol
uhl
e:"
Wher
eisPr
incess?
"

Dad:
"Int
heki
tchen,
she'
scooki
ngupast
orm"

Welaughed,onl
ySbanicansayev
enwhen
she'
sactual
l
yboili
nganegg.
Oluhl
estoodupandwenttotheki
tchen,asshe
walkedawayIcoul
dasmallbaby,
anewbor n
babygoingwi
thherbutl
ooki
ngatthisbaby,I
seethatwomanthatki
ll
edmom.

Dad:
"Ar
eyouokay
?"

Me:
"Umm.
..
Yeah,
I.
..
I'
mfi
nedad,
I'
m okay
"

Ididagoodthi
ngbycominghome,
ther
e'sal
ot
thatneedsmyatt
ent
ion.

*
Thokozani
*

Wewer enoweat
ingi
nfr
ontoftheTV,hav
ing
theseki
dswar
msmyhear t
,Icoul
dn'
tbe
happier
.
Ol
uhlekeptonl
ooki
ngatmebutshewoul
d
smi
lewhenIcatchherl
ooki
ng.

Me:
"Tal
kbaby
"

Shesi
ghedandpl
ayedwi
thherf
oodusi
nga
for
k.

Oluhl
e:"
It
'sbeen10y
ear
ssi
ncemom passed
on"

Me:
"Yesand?
"

Oluhl
e:"Youdi
dy ourbesti
ntaki
ngcareofus
dad,welacknothi
ng,wearehappykidsandwe
feell
oved".
Me:
"Iknowbaby
,what
'sy
ourpoi
nt?
"

Shesighed,
Iknowwhat
everi
tis,
I'
m notgoi
ng
tol
ikeit
.

Oluhl
e:"
Don'
tyouthi
nkyoushoul
dfi
nd
someonewhowill
enter
tai
nyoudad,awoman?
"

If
rownednotbel
i
evi
ngwhatI
'
m hear
ing.

Me:"I
'
m notreplaci
ngmywi fewit
hanywoman,
Il
ovedherandIwon' tt
akethelov
ethatwas
meantforherandgiveitt
oanotherwoman"
.

Ol
uhl
e:"I
'
m notsay
ingy
..
..
"

Ist
oodup.
Me:"
Goodni
ghtmyki
ds,
Ilov
ey oubutIneedt
o
r
est
,tomor
rowwegoi
ngout".

Ilef
tthem ther
eandheadedtomyr oom,Iwent
totheclosetandt
ookoneofherdresses,I
l
ockedmydoorandgoti nbed.Ihuggedthe
dresswithtear
sstr
eamingdown.

Me: "Sthandwasam, kubesikuphi manje?The

kidshav egrowny oudidn'
tevengett oseeand
kissPhakade, heissuchagoodboyandIenj oy
raisi
nghi m andSbaninowt hatOluhl
eand
Simbongi l
ehav egrown.Mamat hekidswant
met ofi
ndanot herwoman, butIcan'
t..
.10y ears
l
at erI'
m sti
llver
ymuchi nlovewi t
hyou, Ican't
bet r
ayy ouli
kethatbaby"
Hekeptqui
et,
cri
edwhi
l
ehol
dinghi
swi
fe'
s
dr
ess.

*
Nar
rat
ed*

Simbongil
ekneel eddown,hestar
tedclappi
ng
andcalli
nguponhi sancestor
s.Heclosedhis
eyesandt hefi
rstthi
nghesawwasabl ackgir
l
i
nhi sage,theyounggirl
bumpedi nt
ohim at
Campusandt henshelookedathim butthe
vi
siondisappeared.

Si
mbongil
e:"Whoareyou?Whyam Ihavi
ng
dreamsaboutyou?Doest
hismeanI'
m st
il
l
gonnameetyou?Am Igoi
ngtomeetyouat
Campus?"

Heaskedhi
msel
fal
lthosequest
ions,
het
hen
cl
osedhiseyesagai
nandsawhi
smot
her
cr
ying,
sit
ti
nginthecol
d.

Si
mbongil
e:"
Tal
ktomemom,
Ican'
thel
pifI
don'
tknowwhat
'swr
ong"

#Unedi
ted
#SJ
Si
mbongi
l
e'sJour
ney
.

I
nser
t2.

*
Simbongi
l
e*

Ikeptont
ossingandtur
ning,
Icouldn'
tfi
ndany
sl
eep.Thethi
ngwithmymom i sbother
ingme
andtothi
nkIdon'
tknowhowt ohelphermakes
matt
erswor
se.If
inal
lydecidedtogetupand
gogetagl
assofwateri
nt hekit
chen.
Walkingdownt hestai
rsIf el
talit
tlebi
tofcold
ai
r,Iknowt hi
stoowel l
,thi
si ssomesor tof
communi cati
on.Iconti
nuedwal kingdownand
assoonasIopenedt hef r
idge.
..
.

"
Boy
za"

Iclosedmyey es, t
hatcanonl ybemymom.10
yearslaterthepai nofl osi
ngherisst il
lvery
muchf r
eshandi tbecomesev enmor epai nf
ul
asIgr ow.Ev ersinceshepassedon, I
'vebeen
seeingandcommuni cati
ngwi t
hheronmy
dreamsbutnev erhav eIeverseenher ,today
sheisher eandIam ev enscaredoft urning.
EveryoneknowsI 'm strong,pr
obablyst ronger
thana50y earoldmanwho' sbeent hroughhell
andbackbutt hismomenthasj ustshownme
t
hatIcanbeweak,
I'
m humanaf
teral
l
.

"
Simbongi
l
e"

Itur
nedslowl
y,mymom hasalway
sbeen
beauti
ful
butt
oday,
now!Sheismoret
han
beauti
ful
.
Thebr
ightl
i
ghtf
rom t
hemoonshonebr
ight
ly
onher
.

Me:
"M.
..
mom"

Shewal
kedcl
oser
,Icoul
dn'
tbel
i
evet
his.

Mom: "I'
m soproudofyoumyboy ,
youare
str
ong.Youar enotonl
ystrongf
oryour
selfbut
foryoursibl
i
ngsaswell.Il
oveyoubaby,
I'
m
l
ooki
ngdownony
ou"

Iwi
pedofft
hetear
sIdidn'
treal
i
seIhadunt
il
myvisi
ongotbl
urr
ybecauseofthem.

Mom: "Thi
ngswi ll
wor koutSimbongile,Iknow
yousomet i
mesgetconf usedandf eel l
i
ke
thi
ngsdon' tmakesensebutdon' tstr
ess, Iwant
yout oalsofocusonbei ngachi l
dandenj oy
yourteenagel i
fe.Thingsthatneedtobe
revealedwillr
eveal t
hemselveswi t
houty ou
havingt ostr
ess"

Me:"I
...
Mom Ihadav
isi
onofy
ousi
tt
ingi
nthe
col
d..
.Idon'
t.
..
"

Mom:"Yes,
I'
mfi
ndi
ngithar
dtorestwhent
he
onewhohadmyhear
tcri
esthewholeni
ght
,
pleaset el
l Thokoz aniIstil
landwillforeverlove
him butal sot ellhimtost opcry
ingf orme, Iam
fi
ndi ngithardt or estwhenhei sunhappy .I
fI
coul dcomebackt oli
fet henIwoul djusttobe
wi t
hhi m andy ouguy sbutIcan' t
, t
ellhimt o
mov eonandmov ingonshoul dn'tmakehi m
feel gui
lty
, heshoul dalway sknowt hatIknow
hel ovedme, thathel ov esme.Iam set t
inghim
freeandt ellhim Isai dheshoul dnotdi sagree
wi t
hhi shear tbecausehi sheartwillneverlie
andbet r
ayhi m, hewi llmeetawomanwhom I
l
ov eandchosef orhi m andheshoul dnotdeny
whathewi l
lfeel towar dsher"

Il
ookedatherandnodded.

Me:"
That
'si
fhewi
l
lbel
i
evemeMom butI
'
llt
ell
hi
m."
Mom: "Oneimpor tantthingbeforeIgo,please
makesur eOluhl
ebr eaksupwi ththatboy
Simbongil
e,Ican'trestbecauseoft hedanger
surr
oundingmydaught er ,
thatboyisbadnews
andsoony oursisterwillbeaffect
ed, i
t'
sbad
enoughthatshe'scar r
yinghischild"

Assoonasmom sai dthatIrememberedthe

vi
sionIhad,
ofachildwalkingnextt
oOlu.Does
i
tmeanshe'spregnant
?I '
my ettofi
ndouthow
hi
sboy f
ri
endisnotgoodforher.

Me:
"Mom h.
..
"

Mom: "
Ihavet ogoBoy za,
myt i
mei sup.Tellal
l
yoursibl
ingsIlovethem, t
ell
them I
'm always
withthem, wherevert
heygoandt el
l PhakadeI
sai
dheshoul dkeepupt hegoodgradesand
nailt
hespel l
i
ngbeecompet i
ti
on,I
'l
lbewi t
hhim,
donotforgettotell
myhusbandwhatIsaid
Simz,I
'm pr
oudofy oumybaby ,al
ways
remembert hatandIloveyoualot
.Thegir
l
you'
vebeenseei ng,you'
l
lsoonmeetherandal
l
theanswersy ouneedwillbef
ound."

Justl
i
ket
hatshedi
sappear
ed.

Someonecl
ear
edt
hei
rthr
oat
.
Il
ookedupandf
ounddadl
ooki
ngatme.

Me:
"Dad.
..
howl
onghav
eyoubeenst
andi
ng
t
her
e?"

Dad:"Longenoughtoseethaty
ouwerei
nan
i
ntenseconversat
ionwi
thsomeone,
areyou
okay?"
Wellmyfamil
yknowsaboutmygi
ftsothey
don'
tgetsur
pri
sedeacht
imeI'
minthi
spositi
on.

Me:
"I'
mfi
nedad,
arey
ouf
ine?
"

Dad:
"YeahI
'
m good"

Me:
"Sl
eepl
essni
ght
?"

Dad:
"Yeahy
oucoul
dsayt
hat
,you?
"

Me:
"Sameher
e"

Dad:
"Let
'sgr
abadr
ink"
Inoddedandreturnedthewaterinsi
dethe
fr
idge,wewenttohi sstudy
,hepouredus
glassesofhi
sfavourit
escotch.

Wesatdownincomf
ort
abl
esi
l
ence,
bot
hdeep
i
nourthought
s.

*
Thokozani
*

Ilookedattheti
meonmycl ockont hewall,it
wascl oseto5o'cl
ocki
nthemor ning,
SimbongileandIhadgoodlaughs,oneglass
turnedtotwothenthr
ee,wedidn'tevenr
ealise
howl atei
thasbecomebecausewewer ejust
talki
ngaboutthi
ngsofthepast,goodmemor i
es.

Iknowsomemi ghtsayI'
m abadi
nfl
uencef
or
l
etti
nghi
m dr
ink,Simbongil
eisav
ery
di
sci
pli
nedchi
ldandIal
lowhim onceort
wice
i
nawhiletohaveanal
coholi
cdrink,
heal
way s
deal
swithal
otandsometimesitbecomestoo
muchforhi
m.

Si
mbongi
l
e:"
Dad"

Me:
"Son"

Hi
m: "
Younev
eraskedwhowasIt
alki
ngto
whenyouwal
kedi
nonmei nt
heki
tchen,
why?
"

Me:"
Becauseapar
tofmeknowsi
twasy
our
mom"

Ihear
dhi
m saymom andasmuchasI'dl
iket
o
knowwhatt
heywer
et al
ki
ngabout
,Isomehow
don'
twantt
oknowbecauseknowi
ngthatshe
wasther
easaspi
ri
tnothumanhurt
sme.

Him:"Don'
tyouwannaknowwhatshewas
sayi
ng?"

Isi
ghed.

Me:
"Tel
lme"

Him: "
Shewassay i
ngIshoul
dtellyoutost op
cryi
ngf orherever
ynight,
shesaidshecan' t
restpeaceful
lyknowingyouhavenotfullyletgo
ofher,sheknowsy ouloveherandshel oves
youev enmor ebutshewantsyoutomov eon,
shesay sdonotdenywhaty ourheartwillf
eel
oncey oumeetanot herwoman,all
owy ourself
tofall
inlove"
Me: "
WellIdon'
ttrustyouSi mbongil
e,Oyi woul
d
neverall
owmet oseeanot herwoman, heckI'
d
neverall
owmy selftodot hat,
soIdon'ttrust
thatson.Youprobablyplannedthiswit
hy our
sist
erbecausesheal sobroughtitupyesterday
andnowy ouar
etelli
ngmet hat"

Hel ookedatmel
ikeI'
m crazy
,ifIwasnotol
der
thanhim hewasdefi
nit
elygoi
ngt ot
ell
meI '
m
stupid.

Him:"
Dadfine!SayOl
uandIplannedthi
s,how
doweknowy oucryall
night
?Thetrut
his
knownbyyou,youtheonewhoknowswhet her
youcr
yornot"

Me:
"Let
'sgogetsomesl
eep,
youknowI
promi
sedtotakey
ouguy
soutandt
hat
'si
na
fewhour
stime"

Me:
"Yeahl
et'
sgo"

Weleftthestudyandwentt oourrooms.Ilai
d
i
nbed, t
hinki
ngaboutwhatSi mbongil
esaid.I
knowhei stel
li
ngthetruthbutthemanthat
l
ovesMaMbat haalotinmedoesn'twanna
admit
.Isighedandf i
nall
ysleepconsumedme.

*
NARRATED*

Everyonewasreadytogo,theywereal
l waiti
ng
forSimbongil
ewhohappenedt obeprayingin
hisroom.Prayi
ngforthesafet
yofhisfami l
y,
askingGodandhisancestorstol
eadthem as
theywill
beleavi
ngthehouseandtopr otect
t
hem f
rom al
lthebadt
hingsoft
hewor
ld.

Hethenmadehi
swayt
oev
ery
one,
theyf
inal
l
y
l
eft
.
Whentheygottothemal
lm,theyoptedf
or
Spurasi
tisthei
roldt
imefav
ouri
te.

Ol
uhl
efoundaper
fectsecl
udedt
abl
efort
hem.

Phakade:"
I'
m sohungr
y,wedi
dn'
thav
eacool
br
eakfastsocanweorder?
"

Ol
u:"Acoolbr
eakf
ast
?What
'sacool
br
eakfast
?"

Phakade:
"Si
siy
ouknowwhatImean"
Shani
:"OhIknowwhaty
oumeanbabybr
o"

Aladywear i
ngSpuruni for
m walkeduptothem
wit
hmenus, shegr eetedwithasmileand
Thokozanicouldn'
thelpbutsmileback,wi
thhis
heartbeat
ingfaster.

Lady
:"Youwil
ll
etmeknowwheny
ou'
rer
eady
topl
aceyourorder
s"

Thokozani
:"Wear
e..
.I
..
.Imeanwear
e"

Oluhl
elookedathi
sdadwhowassuddenly
tongueti
ed,shesmi
ledal
it
tl
ebecauseshewas
awareofwhatwashappeni
ng.

*
Oluhl
e*
Ihadalovel
ytimewi
thmyfamily
,goodlaughs,
shar
ingol
dtimestor
ieswhi
chreall
yhad
Phakadef
ascinat
edandmostofallseei
ngmy
dadhappymademehappy .

Iwasnowdr i
vi
ngt omyapar t
ment ,Ihavetogo
tothehospi
tall
aterformypracti
cals.Beinga
doctori
snotawal kinthepar
k, i
trequir
eshard
workandIhonestlycannotwaittofinal
ly
graduat
eandbeDrOl uhl
eKunene, how
amazingdoesthatsound.
Isuddenlyfel
ttheurgetovomitandmyv isi
on
gotblur
ry,Iwasslowlylosi
ngcontr
olofthe
sti
rr
ingwheel soIdecidedtopar
kthecaroft he
si
deoft heroadbeforeIcauseanaccident.

Myphoner
ang,
itwasSi
mz.
Me:
"Hey
..
.mi
ssmeal
ready
?"

Simbongil
e:"
Iknowy ounotokay,
requestan
Ubertothedoctorandleav
ethatcarther
e,I
'
ll
havesomeonet opicki
tup"

Iwon'tevenaskhowheknowswher eIam or
howheknowst hatI
'
m notokay.I
'
m hi
solder
sist
erbuthehasbeenprotect
ingusli
keheis
theoldone.

Me:
"Okay
"

Hehungup,Ir
equestedtheUbert
oourf
amil
y
doct
orandgotoutofthecart
ogetsomeai
r,I
washavi
nghotfl
ushes.
Aft
ersomet i
meofwait
ingmyUberarrivedand
atthesamet i
methepersonwhowil
ltakemy
cararr
ived,
Itookmybagf r
om t
hecarandwent
totheUber.

20minuteslat
erwear ri
vedatDrSteenkamp's
sur
gery
,Ipaidandt hankedtheUberdriv
erthen
Iwenti
nside.Luckyformet her
ewasonl yone
per
sonont hebenchwai ti
ngtobeattended.

Igreet
edtherecept
ionladywhom I
'vegotten
usedtobecauseDrSi sourfami
lydoctorand
she'sbeenworki
ngherf orawhi
l
e.
Thepersonwhowasinsi
dewentoutandt he
onewhowasont hebenchwentin,shet
ook
about15minut
esinsi
dethengotout.
"
Youcangoi
n"

Ist
oodupandwenti
nsi
deDrSt
eenkamp'
s
off
ice.

Me:
"Dochey
"

DrS:
"HeyDrO,
howar
eyou?
"

Yept
hat
'showheaddr
essesme,
DrO.

Me:
"Iam goodbutI
'
m notsur
eheal
thwi
se"

DrS:
"Whatseemst
obet
hepr
obl
em?
"
Me:"Honest
lyIdon'
tknowhey,tr
uewhatthey
say
..
.Adoctorcanneverheal
themsel
veshuh?"

Hel
aughedandagr
eedwi
thme.

Me:"
Iwasdr i
vi
ngwhenIsuddenl yf
eltt
heurge
t
ovomit,Iwasdizzyandmyv i
sionwasblur
ry.I
t
henstar
tedfeel
ingveryhot
."

DrS:
"Whenl
astdi
dyouseey
ourper
iods?
"

Iopenedmyey eswide.What
?Itthencl
i
cked
thatt
herewasadaywhenZwel iandIdi
dn'tuse
acondom, Idi
dn'
tseemyperiodsthi
smont h
anditneverbot
her
edmebecausesomet imesit
happens.
Me:
"OhmyGod!
!Icoul
dbepr
egnant
"

Hesmi
l
edandsai
d..
.

DrS:
"Let
'st
estt
osee"

Iwentandpeedonthecup,hei
nser
tedt
he
st
ickandputonthetabl
e.
Il
ookeddown,play
ingwi
thmyhandsandwhen
Il
ookedupIfoundhisst
arr
ingatme,
smil
i
ng.

Me:
"And?
"

Hel
ookedatt
hest
ickandl
ookedatme.

DrS:
"Congr
atul
ati
onsmommy
"
Hedidn'
tl
ooktoexci
tedf
orme,
hel
ooked
di
sappoi
nted.

Me:
"Umm wowI
..
.t
hanksIguess"

Honestl
yIwasalsonotthathappy
,Idon'
twant
t
ohav eababy,atl
eastnotnowwhenmycar eer
i
satitspeak.

DrS:"
Canyoupleasel
ayonthebedsowecan
seehowfaral
ongareyou?
"

Iobl
i
gedandlai
donthebed,heappli
edthegel
onmyt ummyandmovedthescannerar
ound.I
am i
ndeedpr
egnant
,hewassmili
ngawkwardly
.
DrS:"
That'
syourl
it
tl
ehumant
her
e,y
ouar
e8
weekspr
egnant"

Isighedandnodded.Hegavemeacl ot
hto
wipeoffthegelt
henIgotofft
hebed.He
prescri
bedmesupplementsI'
l
lneed,
Ibidhi
m
goodby eandlef
t.

#Unedi
ted
#SJ
Si
mbongi
l
e'sJour
ney
.
I
nser
t3.

*
Oluhl
e*

Aweekhaspassed,Ist
il
lhav
en'
ttol
danyone
aboutmypr
egnancynotmyfamil
yoreven
Zweli
.I'
vebeent ryi
ngtodigestthi
swhol ethi
ng,
Ihonestl
ywantt obehappybutIcan' tbri
ng
myselftoit.Eachti
medadorSi mzcallIj
ust
makeexcusesaboutpr actical
satthehospital
andhowbusyi tget
s.Ithi
nkIhav etocallAunt
ie
Sne,t
alkingtoherissoeasy .
Imademy sel
facupofr
ooi
bosteaandsat
down,
Itookmyphoneandcal
ledher
.

Aunt
ieSne:
"Heyl
ookwhomi
ssesme"

Igi
ggl
ed,
t hat
'showever
yoneusual
l
yresponds
tomycal
ls,Ihardl
yev
ercal
l.

Me:
"Heymommy
"

Her
:"Heybabygi
rl
,howar
eyou?
"
Me:
"Ohwel
l
...
I'
m br
eat
hing,
howar
eyou?
"

Her:
"I'
m okay
,whyar
en'
tyougood?Just
br
eathi
ng?"

Me:"Canwemeetupf
orlunch?Mytr
eat
,I
wannatal
ktoy
ouaboutsomethi
ng"

Shewentqui
etf
orsomet
ime.

Her
:"Ar
eyouatt
heapar
tment
?"

Me:
"Yeah"

Her
:"Okayhow'
saboutIgetusl
uncht
hen
comeov
ert
her
e?"

Me:"Soundsev
enbett
er,pl
easeanyt
hingy
ou'
l
l
getf
orus,makesur
emi neischi
l
li
"

Yep,Iev
enlovechi
l
lit
hings.Idon'
tknowhow
causeI'
venev
erbeenthetypetoeachchi
ll
i
food.

Her
:"Youandchi
l
li
es,
arey
ousur
eyouokay
?"

Il
aughed,
shei
ssonosy
.

Me:
"By
emommy
,ki
sst
het
winsf
orme"

Her
:"Okayseey
oui
n30,
I'
ll
kisst
heset
wo
r
ascal
s"
Ihungupandsi gned.Whil
ewai ti
ngforher,why
notcall
AuntieNdekajusttocheckuponheror
evenmakeanappoi ntmenttov i
sit
,Ihaven't
beenspendingenoughtimewi thmypeopl e,or
may beIshoul
dst ar
tbycalli
nguncleMv el
o
becauseIknowshoul dIcallAunti
eNdekaf i
rst
,
wewon' tf
ini
shtalki
ngont hephone.

*
Simbongi
l
e*

IhavebacktobackclassestodayandIj
ustgot
outofmysecondclass,headingtomythi
rdand
l
astclassoft
heday.
I
'm honestl
yworr
iedaboutOluhl
e,fr
om last
weekI '
vebeent
ryi
ngtocallher,
atfi
rstshe
wasn'ttaki
ngmycall
sandthenshewentand
madeexcusesaboutpracti
calsbei
nghect i
c.I
t
olddadaboutit,
hetoldmehe' sbeengetti
ng
thesameexcusesbutheal
soadvi
sedmetolet
herbeandgiv
ehersomespace,maybeshe
needit
.

"
Ouch!
!!
!Lookwher
eyougoi
ng"

Ibumpedint
osomeone,Iwasdeepinmy
thought
ssomuchthatIdi
dn'
tseeher.

Me:"
I.
..
I'
m sor
ry,
Ijust
..
.Ihav
eal
oti
nmi
nd,
I
di
dn'
tseeyou.I
'm sor
ry"

Her
:"I
t'
sokay
,Icant
ell
youhav
eal
oti
nmi
nd"

Icoul
dhearhert al
ki
ngbutfrom adi
stance,her
wordswer ej
ustnotaudibl
eenough.AllIcoul
d
seeisthatvi
sionIhad,
ofmebumpi ngintoa
gir
lwhosupposedlyhasall
theanswersIneed,
shelooksexact
lyl
ikethegi
rlonmyvisi
on,she
actual
lyi
sthatgi
rl

Her
:"Ar
eyouokay
?"

Me:
"Umm y
..
.y
eah,
I'
mfi
ne,
Simbongi
l
eher
e"

Her
:"Amandl
a"

Amandla?IknowanAmandl awhohappensto
bedad'
sdaught erandcometothi
nkofi
tthi
s
younggir
llooksli
kehim al
ot,
nowthatI
'
m
payi
ngattenti
on.

Me:"
Umm wowI
..
..
canwedol
unchi
fyoudon'
t
mi
nd?"
Amandla:
"Okaynoproblem,I
'm headi
ngt
omy
l
astcl
assrightnowbutherear
emynumber s"

Shecalledouthernumber
s,Isav
edt
hem and
thankedher.

Me:"I
'
m alsogoingt
omylastcl
assthenI
'
llcal
l
youaft
erclasssowecanmeetup"

Amandl
a:"
Cool
"

Shewalkedoff
,thi
scan'
tbeacoi
nci
dence,
it'
s
her
.Icanfeel
it,i
t'
sher
.
.
..
..
..
..
..
..
Classwentonquickl
y,I
'
dbely
ingi
fIsai
dI
heardanyt
hingcausemymindwasonthatgi
rl
.
Ipackedmyst
uffandcal
l
edher
.

Amandl
a:"
Ammyher
e,hel
l
o?"

Shehasanaccent,onethatIcan'
tmyf i
ngeron
butIcantel
lshe'
snotfr
om here,orshe'
sbeen
stay
ingsomewhereoutsideSouthAfr
ica.

Me:
"Heyi
t'
sSi
mbongi
l
e".

Al
sot
heAmandl
aIknowwasAmmy
.

Amandl
a:"
Ohhey
"

Me:"Canwemeetatthepar
kingl
ot,
sot
hatwe
cangooutt
oourlunch?"
Sheagreedandmi
nut
esl
aterwewer
ebot
hat
thepar
kingl
ot.

Amandl
a:"
Mycarory
our
s?"

Me:
"Any
,whi
chonewoul
dyoupr
efer
?"

Amandl
a:"
Let
'st
akey
our
s"

Inoddedandunl
ockedmycart
henopenedt
he
doorforher
.

Amandl
a:"
Thanky
ou"

Igoti
nanddr
oveof
f,wewentt
oSpur
satt
he
malldowntown.Iopenedt
hechai
rforher,
she
satdownandthankedmeonceagain,It
ooka
si
t.

Amandl
a:"
You'
reat
ruegent
leman"

Ismi
l
ed.

Me:
"Il
ear
ntf
rom t
hebestbutt
hanky
ou,
Itr
y"

Amandl
a:"
Canweor
der
,I'
mfami
shed"

Shewassobl ackandsobeaut
if
ulbutone
coul
dn'tmissthatUncl
eTki
nher,alotofUncl
e
Tkifyouaskme.

Weor
der
ed.
Me:"
Isensesomeaccenti
nther
e,wher
ear
e
youf
rom?"

Amandla:"Wellori
ginallyI'
m SouthAf r
ican,well
mymom l ovestravelingaroundt hewor l
d,soI
wasactuall
ybor ninAmer i
cabutl at
ercame
backwhenIwasabout9orso, wedidn'teven
stayf
orlong.Wet henl eftforCanada,that'
s
whereI'
vebeenst ayingsincet hen,t
il
lIdecided
Iwannafurthermyst udiesi nSA"

Inodded.

Me:
"Okay
,soanyf
ami
l
yinSA?
"

Amandl
a:"Wel
lIdohaveanUncl
e,uncl
eZweli
.
He'
stheonl
ypersonf
rom mymother'
ssideof
thefami l
yIgetalongwit
handseemor eoften
andt henIdon'
tknowmydad, okayIlastsaw
him whenIwas9, whenwecamebackf rom
Amer icaandsincethenI
'veneverseenhernor
hisfami l
y.
"

Me:
"Okaybutdoy
ouwantt
oknowhi
m?"

Ourf
oodcame,
shedi
dn'
tev
enwast
eti
me,
she
dugr
ighti
n.

Amandl a:
"Wellatonepoi
ntIdidwantt omeet
him butmymom t oldmehedeni edmeashi s
chil
dandt ol
dmymom hewoul dkillherandkil
l
mei fshefor
cesmedownhi sthroat,soIj
ust
chosetoletitgo,what
'st
hepoi ntofwantingto
knowsomeonewhodoesn' twanty ou?"
Me: "
YeahIsee.
..
butIsay
,lookforhi
m andhear
hissi
deofthestor
y,hecouldbeagoodperson
youknow?"

Amandl
a:"
Yeahbutmymom woul
dnev
erl
i
eto
me"

Ishr
uggedandsai
d..
..

Me:
"Okay
"

I
tisnowconf i
rmed,sheisuncleTk,
sAmandla
becauseshementionedZweliwhohappensto
beOlu'sboyf
ri
endandt hevi
sionIhad,
Zweli
is
l
inkedtothatwoment hatki
l
ledmymom.

Weat
esi
l
ent
ly,
shel
ookedatme.
Amandl
a:"
So.
..
you,
what
'sy
ourst
ory
?"

It
oldherwhatIcoul
dtel
lher
,she'
sactual
l
ya
ni
cepersonandfuntobehangoutwit
h.

Aft
erourl
unch,Idr
oveherbacktocampusso
shecoul
dgogethercar,weagreedonhangi
ng
outmorethenIl
eft
.
It
ext
edOl
uhl
e.
"
WENEEDTOTALK,
ITSABOUTZWELI
"

*
Thokozani
*

I'
mtryi
ngt
ogetri
dofthatl
adyinmyheadbutI
can'
t,
mymindkeepsofdri
ft
ingofftoher
,her
smil
eandwhi
lethi
shappens,Ican'
thel
pbut
feell
ikeI'
m bet r
ayingmywi fe.Theki
dswentt
o
school,Idecidedt oworkfrom hometoday
becauseI '
m abi tdist
ract
edandIcan'tt
akemy
dist
racti
ont owor k.
It
ookOy
i'
spi
ctur
efr
om mydeskandki
ssedi
t.

Me:"I
'
m sor
ryIevent
houghtofbetray
ingy
ou
mylove,
Ipr
omisedtonevercheatonyouand
soI
'
m gonnakeepmypr omise"

Isattherel
ookingatt hepicture,f
lashbacks
fl
oodedmyhead, f
rom thefir
sttimeIsawher ,
tohowhappyshewaswhenIpr oposedtohow
crazyshewoul dbewhenpr egnantwi t
h
Phakade.Ifoundmy sel
fsmi l
ingthroughtear
s,I
don'tt
hinkI'
ll
ev erloveawomant hewayIloved
her.Shechall
engedme, didn'
tmi ndtel
li
ngme
thewayt ogetof fandshesur eknewhowt oput
meonmypl ace, somethingnowomanhasev er
beenabl
etodo.

Me:"
Iloveyoumama, howIwishyoucoul
d
wal
kthroughthi
sdoorandsayyourwasa
pr
ank"

Isi
ghedanddeci
dedt
ogot
osl
eepabi
t.
I
mmediatel
ywhenIgott
obedsl
eepconsumed
me,
Ijustdr
ift
edof
ftoagoodsl
eep.

"Iknowy oulov eme, Il

ov eyouev enmor emy
l
ov eandIwantt oseey ouhappy ,pleasedon' t
holdontome, yesdon'tforgetaboutmebut
don'tl
ety ourloveformest opyouf rom loving
again.Iwillr
esteasyknowi ngthatyouar e
happyandi nlov e.Ichoseherf oryou, shewi l
l
beaper fectmat ch.Goandf i
ndher ,tellheryou
l
ov eherandIwoul dnev erfeelbetr
ay ed"
Ijumpedupandl ookedaround,shewashere,
Oy i
washere.Icanfeeli
t,thesudden
mov ementsofcurt
ainsandt hecol
dairi
nthe
room butwindowsareclosed.Shewashere,I
wasnotdreami ng.

"Goandfi
ndher"thosewordskeptrepl
ayi
ngin
myhead.Ideci
dedt ogetup,t
akeashowerand
woretr
acksuit
s.I'
m goingtof
indher,mywif
e
gavemetheblessing.

*
NARRATED*

Oluhl
etoldSnethembaaboutherpregnancy
andshewaski ndanothappyaboutit
,shedidn'
t
knowwhatt heprobl
em wasbutsomet hi
ng
aboutthi
spregnancydi
dn'tf
eelr
ighttoher.
Theyspokeforawhi
leandSnehadtogohome
tocheckontheki
ds,t
heyar
edoinghome
school
ingduetobei
ngbul
li
ed.
Ol
uhle:"
Pleasedon'
ttel
ldad,
I'
ll
tel
lhi
m when
I
'mready"

Sne:
"Iwon'
tmyl
ove,
takecar
eofy
our
sel
f"

Shenodded,
theyhuggedt
henSnel
eft
.

Ol
uhl
ewentt ocheckonherphoneandf ounda
t
extf
rom Simbongil
e,somethi
ngthathadtodo
wi
thZwel
i soshetextedhi
m backandtoldhim
t
ocometot heapartment.

20mi nut
esl
aterSi
mbongi
l
ear
ri
ved.They
hugged.
Olu:
"Iknowyoualwayshungry,
Ihave
yest
erday'
sSpaghet
tiandmince,gowar
mitup"

Helaughedandwentt
owarm upt
hef
oodt
hen
wentbacktosi
twit
hhersi
ster
.

Si
mbongil
e:"
Areyouokay?You'
vebeen
av
oidi
ngussincefr
om l
astweek,y
oudidn'
t
ev
entell
mehowi twentatt
hehospit
al"

Oluhl
esighed,hecan'
tkeept
hisawayfrom
Simbongil
e,heknowsherbet
terthanshe
knowsherself
.

Ol
uhl
e:"
I.
..
I'
m pr
egnantSi
mz"
Si
mbongi
l
e:"
Iknow"

Oluhl
e:"
Youknow?Ofcour
seyouknow,
but
howlonghaveyouknownf
or?
"

Ol
uhl
e:"
Waybef
orey
ouf
oundouty
our
sel
f"

Ol
uhl
e:"
Sowhydi
dn'
tyout
ell
me?
"

Si
mbongile:"BecauseIknewy ouwerenot
goi
ngtobelieveme, soIwantedyoutofindout
onyourownhencewhyIt ol
dy outogotothe
doct
orthatday "

Ol
uhl
e:"
Wow...
soyouwant
edt
otal
kabout
Zwel
i
,whati
sit
?"
#Unedi
ted
#SJ
Si
mbongi
l
e'sJour
ney
I
nser
t4.

*
Nar
rat
ed*

Oluhl
elookedatSimbongilener
vousl
y,she
wantedtoknowwhati sthathewantedtotel
l
heraboutZweli,i
tsoundedseri
ousandshe
knowswhat everSi
mbongilesaysi
salwaystr
ue
andrightsoshe'shopi
ngit'
snothi
ngbad.

Simbongi
le:"
Okayfi
rst
lygazithi
sisnotgoi
ng
tobeeasyforyoutoacceptbutyoumysist
er
andIhavetoprot
ectyoubeforethi
ngsgo
wrong"
Ol
uhl
efr
owned.

Ol
uhl
e:"
O..
Kay
"

Simbongile: "
Zweliisnotwhoy out hi
nkhei s,he
datedyoubecausehehasmot ives.I
'm
surpri
sedt hatyouguy sdatedf orthr
eey ears
andhest i
ll hasn'
tdoneanyt hi
ng.Seet hattime
wewer ehome, wheny ouwer ewal ki
ngtot he
kit
chenIhadav i
sionofyouwal ki
ngwithababy ,
butthedistur bi
ngpartist
hatt hebabyhad
rel
ati
ontot hatwomant hatkil
ledmom"

Ol
uhl
e:"
Simbongi
l
ewhatdoest
hatmean?
"

Si
mbongil
e:"
Ial
sodidn'
tunder
standatf
ir
st,
mom cametovi
sitmethatver
ysamenight
becauseIcouldn'
tsleep.Shet ol
dmet oprotect
youagainsthi
m, shesai dit'
sbadenought hat
youarecarryi
nghischildbutst i
l
lthatwasn't
enoughformet oputt ogetherIgotfrust
rated
becauseyouknowme, Ialwayshaveanswer s
toeveryquesti
onandIal wayshavesoluti
ons"

Ol
uhl
e:"
Okaygett
othepoi
nt"

Simbongi
le:
"Doyourememberuncl
eTK'
s
daught
er?Theonewhowasintr
oducedt
ous
whenwewer eyoung?"

Ol
uhl
e:"
Yeah.
..AmandaorAmandl
a,y
esI
r
ememberher
"

Simbongi
le:
"YeahIhappenedtomeetupwi
th
heratcampus,she'
sastudentt
her
e.Wespoke,
gotalongandwel lshestil
ldoesn'tknowwhoI
am butIknowwhoshei s,shetoldmet hather
mom saidt oher ,herf
atherdidn'
twantherand
allt
hatshitbutwhatwasmor einteresti
ngis
thatshetoldmeshehasanUncl ecalledZweli
,
that'
swheni tallbecamecl earast owhyy our
babyhadar elat
iontomom' ski
ll
er,because
Zweliist
hey oungerbrother"

Bythet i
meSi mbongilewasdoneexpl aini
ng,
Oluhlewasshocked.Shecoul dn'
tbeli
ev eit
.She
suddenlyhatedherselfforsleepi
ngwi tha
brotherofawomanwhoki ll
edhermot her
,
questionsofwhatcoul dbeZwel i
'sreasonof
dati
ngherst ar
tedfloodingin.

Ol
uhle:"
OhmyGodgazi ,whati
fhewantstoki
ll
measwel l
?Doyouthinkhewasspyi
ngforhis
si
ster
?Iam goi
ngtoleavehim,
Iam notgoi
ng
todat
esomeonewhoi
srel
atedt
omymot
her
's
kil
l
er"

Shewasnowpaci ngupanddown.Sur eshe

l
ovedZwel ialot
,hell
shewoul devendo
anyt
hingforhim buthear
ingthatshei
srelat
ed
toSamkelisi
weturnedheroffandmadeher
hat
ehi m.

Simbongi
le:"Rel
axwillyou?Nooneisgoi
ngto
harmyounotwhenI '
m ali
veandbesi
deswe
havetoplaysmartsowecanknowwhathei s
upto,whatismot i
veis"

Ol
uhle:"Andhowar ewegoingtodothatdear
br
other?Becauseifyouwil
ltel
lmenottoleav
e
hi
mt henforgeti
t,I
'
ml eav
inghim"
Simbongile:
"GaziI'm notsayingdon'tl
eavehim,
yesy oudefi
nit
elyleavinghim butIhaveanother
plan.Wheny ouleavehi m,don'tt
ellhi
mt hereal
reason,j
usttel
lhimy oul eavi
nghim because
youf eel
yourrel
ationshipisjustnotworkingout
ormakeupal i
ebutdon' tt
ellhi
mt hetr
uth"

Ol
uhl
enodded,shewassomadather
sel
fbut
t
henagai
n,howwouldshehav
eknown?She
t
houghtt
ohersel
f.

Simbongi
le:"
OkayIhav et
ogofornowgazilam,
pl
easestaycalm andrememberwhatIsai
d,no
tr
uthokay?Il
ovebi gsi
s"

Ol
uhl
e:"
Okayby
efornowbi
ghead,
Ilov
eyou
t
oo"
Simbongi
l
eleft
,Ol
uhletookherphone,
cont
emplati
ngwhetherornotshoul
dshecal
l
Zweli
.

*
Zwel
i
*

Fuck!!!Thisissomemessedupshi t
,SisSamke
willbefoundsoonerorl at
er.10y earslater
thesepeopl ehav enotforgott
en, t
heyar est i
ll
bayingf orherblood.IbuggedOl uhle'
spl aceso
thatIcanl i
stentoev eryconversati
onshehas
withherf amilyandeacht imetheyt alkabout
mysi sterImakesur et oupdateher .Shewant s
tocomebackt oSout hAfri
cabutshe' saf r
aid,
shewant stoknowi ftheyarest i
l
l l
ookingf or
her.

It
ookmyphoneandcall
edher
,sheanswer
ed
onthef
ir
str
ing,
youcoul
dswearshe'
sbeen
wai
ti
ngf
ormycal
l
.

Samke:
"Heyy
ou,
tel
lmey
ouhav
egoodnews"

Me:"I
'm afraidnot,Si
sSamkedon'tcomeback.
Theywillf
indy ouifyoudo,Si
mbongil
eeven
metAmandl a,obvi
ouslyi
fshetol
dherwher
e
she'
sfrom, they'
ll
knowy ou'
rei
nCanada"

Shekeptqui
et.

Samke:"
ZweIwannacomebackhome,
Ican'
t
st
ayinCanadaf
orev
er.
"

Me:"Well
comebackbuty oumustknowyour
comingbackwi
llbeli
kegivi
ngyour
sel
fupto
theLi
onsandanothert
hing,Ol
uhl
eispr
egnant
.
Idon'
tlov
eherSi
sSamke,
Idon'
twantt
hat
baby"

Samke:"Thi
sissofuckedup,I'
l
lcal
lAmmyand
tel
lhert
onevertal
ktostranger
saboutour
l
ives"

Me: "Wellthat
'salit
tlebi
ttool ate,shealready
toldSimbongilewhaty outoldhi m abouthis
fatherandmyguessi she'sgoi ngtotellherthe
truthandmakehermeethi m andy ourdaught er
hasal r
eadyshar edwithhimt hatshest ayedin
Canada, shetoldhimI '
m heruncl esotrusthe
knowsenoughandt hatboyisnotaf ool,he
alreadyknowst hatAmmyi sThokozani '
s
daughter"

Shesi
gheddeepl
y,Iknowthatsi
ghtoowel
land
i
tmeans"Wehavenochoicebutto.
..
..
"
Samke:"Wel
lthenwehav
enochoi
cebutt
o
takehi
m out
"

Me:"That
'scr
azyI
'
m notdoi
ngt
hatandsoar
e
you"

Ihungup.Ihat
esi
sSamke'
sobsessi
onwi
th
thi
sfamil
y.

*
Thokozani
*

Igott
otherest
aurantandsatdown,It
ookher
namethedaywewer ehereonhernametag,
Zandi
let
hat'
shername.
Awai
tr
esscamet
ome,
Ismi
l
edather
.
Her
:"Goodaf
ter
noonsi
r,Ar
eyour
eadyt
opl
ace
anorder
?"

Me:
"CanIpl
easebeser
vedbyZandi
l
e?"

Shesmi
l
edandsai
d..
..

"Unf
ort
unat
elyZandi
l
eisnoti
ntoday
,it
'sherof
f
day"

Iwassodi
sappoi
ntedbutIcoul
dn'
treal
l
yshow
i
t.

Me:
"Betweenmeandy ou,cany
oupl
easegi
ve
mehercel
lphonenumbers?"

Her
:"Unf
ort
unat
elyagai
nsi
r,Ican'
tdot
hat
.
HowdoIknowy
oudon'
twantt
ohar
m her
?"

Ichuckledbutalsomyheartbr oke.I
sthi
swhat
thewor l
dhasbecome?Womencan' ttr
ustus
becausewehav ebecomev ul
tures?Wekillour
women, weabusethem andtheydon'tdeserve
i
t,nowev erymanoutherei
snott hesafest
placefort hem.Wearesupposedt obethei
r
safeandhappypl ace,wehavet olov
eand
cheri
sht hem buthereweare,wehav ebecome
l
ionstot hem.

Me: "Iknowhowt hewor ldhasbecomeandI

hurtony ourbehalves.Iwi shther
ewas
somet hi
ngIcoul ddobutunf ort
unatel
ythose
ment hatviol
atewomenar et
heonest hathave
tochange, f
orthewor l
dt obecomeabet t
er
place, i
t'
sallintheirhands.Iwoul dneverharm
herandanywomanf orthatmat t
er,
Ijustwant
toseeherandtal
ktoherthat'
sal
l.I
fyoudon't
tr
ustmetheyyoucant akemycarregi
str
ati
on
numberoranyt
hingthatwil
lmakeyoufeel
bett
er"

Shesmi
l
ed.

Her:"
I'
llgi
vey outhebenefitoft
hedoubtbutI
'l
l
defi
nit
elytakeyourregist
rati
onnumber,my
phoneisinthelockery.Givemeaf ewminut
es
I
'l
lgocheckt henumber sforyou"

Ismi
l
edandt
hankedher
.

Me:
"Andheraddr
essi
fyoudon'
tmi
nd"

Shechuckl
ed.
Her
:"Youl
i
keherdon'
tyou?
"

Me:
"Wel
l
...
"

Shelaughedandl
eft
,aft
ersomet
imeofwaiti
ng
shecameback.Onthepaperwastheaddr
ess
andcell
phonenumbers.
It
ookoutR500andgav
eitt
oher
.

Me:"Iknowi t
'snotmuchbutit'
sall
I'
m hav
ing
i
ncashr ightnow,thankyousomuch.I'
l
l
def
init
elybebackt ogiveyoumore"

Shewassohappyfort
heti
p,shethankedmea
l
otandwentbackt
owor kwhil
eIalsolef
t.As
soonasIgott
othecar
,Ipunchedtheaddress
ont
heGPSanddr
oveof
f.

Iarr
ived,
sheli
vesinaf
lat
.Asmal
lbutdecent
fl
atri
ghtinJobur
gCBD.
Iwal
kedt
oherf
latnumberandknocked.

Thedooropened,
shewaswrappedinatowel
,
wear
ingnoshoes.Shel
ookedsobeaut
if
ul.

Me:
"H.
..
Hy"

Zandi
:"Hey
"

*
Simbongi
l
e*

Ij
ustar
ri
vedatMy
thos,
that
'swher
eI'
m
meetingwit
hAmandla.Shedoesn'tknowwhyI
askedtomeetupwit
hher ,
shethinksit'
sjust
fr
iendshi
pbutt
rut
hisIwanthertoknowt he
tr
uth.

AsIwasorder
ingadrink,
shegoti
nandIr
aised
myhandforhertoseeme.

Wai
ter
:"Wi
l
lthatbeal
l
?"

Me:"Wai
tabitf
ort
hatl
adymay
beshe'
l
lal
so
wantadr
ink"

Amandl
a:"
Hey
"

Me:
"Hey
"
Shesatdown.

Amandla:"
I'
m sor
ryI
'
mlate,
Iwasonal ong
vi
deocallwit
hmymom, ohcanIgetaglassof
waterpl
ease"

Shesai
dlooki
ngatt
hewai
ter
,henoddedand
l
eft
.

Me:
"Nowor
ri
es,
Ial
soar
ri
vednotsol
ongago.
"

Wespokeaboutaf
ewgener
alt
hing,
ourdr
inks
came,
weorderedf
ood.

Me:"
So..
.Iwant
edtotal
ktoy
ouabout
somet
hingimport
ant
"
Amandl
a:"
Alr
ight
..
.I
'
mli
steni
ng"

Me: "
Iknowwhoy ourfatheri
s,yourmother
mighthav el
i
edtoyou,infactsheli
edtoyou.
Yourfatheri
sagoodman, hewouldnever
ref
usetobei ny
ourli
fe"

Shelookedatmewit
haf
rownbutIst
il
l
cont
inuedtal
ki
ng.

#Unedi
ted
#SJ
Si
mbongi
l
e'sJour
ney
I
nser
t5.

*
Oluhl
e*
If
inal
l
ygott
hecour
aget
ocal
lZwel
ibutI
'
m so
scar
ed,whati
fhekill
sme?Ican'tbealone
whenhecomesher esoIdeci
det ocal
luncl
e
Mkhusel
ibecausedadisnotpi
ckingup.

Uncl
eMk:
"Shanas"

Me:
"Lumewher
ear
eyou?Ineedy
ou"

Uncl
eMk:
"Ar
eyouokay
?What
'shappeni
ng?
"

Me:"
I'
mfinef
ornowIt
hink.
..
canyouplease
cometomyapar
tment
,I'
l
ltel
lyouever
ythi
ng"

UncleMk:
"Okaygi
veme10mi
nut
esI
'
llbe
ther
e"

See?Hei
sver
yrel
i
abl
e.
Me:
"Okayt
hanksby
e"

Ihungupandpacedupanddown, exact
ly10
minuteslat
erther
ewasaknockont hedoor.I
waspr ay
ingthati
tisn'
tZwel
i,Isl
owlywentto
thedoorandaskedwhoi sit
.

"
It
'smeShanas"

Whew!
!Iopenedt
hedoorandhuggedhi
m.
Hethentookmyhand,
wewal
kedt
othel
ounge
andsatdown.

Uncl
eMk:
"I'
m her
enow,
tel
lmewhat
'sgoi
ng
on"
Me:"Remembery ouwarnedmeagai nstZweli
whenwest arteddat
ing,
youdidsayy oudon't
t
rusthim,tur
nsoutyouwer er
ight,
hei sbr
other
t
omom' skil
l
erandlooksli
kehe'sbeenspying
f
orher"

Uncl
eMk:"Thatsonofa...
.Iknewsomething
waswrongwithhim,Ishouldhavesquashed
hi
smotherf
uckingball
s"

Il
aughed,
Iknowthi
sisnott
heti
mebutthi
s
guyandsweari
ngar
eli
ketoot
handnai
l
.

Me:
"Languageuncl
eMk"

Hewassuddenl
yangr
y.
Uncl
eMk:
"Sowhatdoy
ouneedmyhel
pwi
th?
"

Me:"Ical
l
edhimtocomeher e,Iwanttoend
t
hingswithhi
m butI
'
m scared,
whati fhehur
ts
mesoIneedy outobeheretoprotectme"

Henoddedandsatdown.

Me:"
CanIgetyousomet
hingt
oeatordr
ink
whi
l
ewewai t
?"

UncleMk:"Notheonl
ythi
ngIwantri
ghtnowi
s
thatboy
fri
endofyour
s,Iwantt
oteachhi
ma
l
esson"

Isatdown,
Ilookedattheti
meheshoul
dbe
herein5minut
esfrom now.
10minutespassed,
then30minut
esandcl
ose
toanhourhewasst i
ll
nother
e.

AsIwasaboutt
otakemyphoneandcal
lhi
m,
hecal
l
ed.

Zwel
i:
"Babysomet
hingcameup,I
'
m notgonna
beabl
etocomemay betomor
row"

Me:"ButZweyouweresur
ethaty
oucomi
ng,
yousaidyouwer
ecloseby
"

Zwel
i:"
YahbutI
'
mf uckentel
l
ingy
ouI '
m no
l
ongercomi
ngOluhl
e,awuzwakanti
?"

Ihungupandl
ookedatUncl
eMk.
Uncl
eMk: "
Hesay she'snol ongercoming,I
knowhi
st y
pe.I'
mj ustassmar tandifhethi
nks
hecanrunhehasanot herthingcoming.He's
j
ustanamat eur
,I'
vedealtwithbigdogsbefore.
"

Hegotupandheadedt
othedoor
.

Me:
"Youl
eav
ingal
ready
?"

Uncl
eMk:
"NoI
'
m goi
ngt
omycar
,I'
l
lbeback"

Hewentoutandcamebackwithhi
slapt
opand
somethi
ngsIknownot
hingabout.

Uncl
eMk: "
Myguessishebuggedthi
spl
ace,he
knowsever
ythi
ngyousayordoandheknows
whensomeoneishere,
ther
easonwhyheisno
l
ongercomi
ngi
sbecauseheknowsI
'
m her
e"

If
rowned,
coul
dher
eal
l
ygot
osuchl
engt
hs?

Uncl
eMktookoneoft
hethingshehadand
movedar
ound,
hestar
tedunderneat
hthecouch.

Me:
"What
'st
hat
?"

Uncl
eMk:
"Abugsensor
"

Thenitmadesounds,l
i
keanalar
m.Heplaced
thecouchupsi
dedownandtherewasabug,I
coul
dnotbeli
evethi
s.

Hecont
inuedt
othetabl
e,t
herewasnothi
ng.
Hedi
dthisint
hewholeapar
tmentandcame
wi
th6bugs.SoZweli
hasbeenli
steni
ngt
o
ev
ery
thi
ngIsaywit
hev er
yonewhocameher
e?.

Me:
"Oh.
..
OhmyGod,
Ican'
tbel
i
evet
his"

Uncl
eMk: "
Youbet
terbel
i
eveit
,yourboy
fri
end
i
scrazybuthewi
ll
meetcrazy
"

Me:
"Hel
lpr
obabl
yrunaway
"

Hechuckl
ed.

UncleMk:"WellI
'
m notonetobedodged,ask
yourfat
heraboutme,notyourf
atherTk,
Imean
yourfat
herSfi
so"

Iopenedmyey
eswi
de.
Me:
"Tel
lmeLume"

Hel
aughed.

Uncl
eMk: "Call
thatboyf
ri
endofyoursandt
ell
hi
mi t
'sover,
makesur eyoudon'
thangup
qui
ckl
y ,
Iwanttolocatehi
m"

Idon'
tknowhowhe'
l
ldoi
tbutI
'
llt
rusthi
m.

Ical
l
edhim,hedidn'
tanswer
,It
ri
edagai
nand
agai
nandfi
nall
yheanswered.

Zwel
i
:"Whatt
hef
uckdoy
ouwantOl
uhl
e?"
Me: "
Iknowy ouplantedbugsi nmyapartment,
howcoul dy oudot hatZweli?Youareevi
l,I
hopey ougot ohell wi
ththatmurderyoucalla
si
ster,Ihatey ouandjustsoy ouknow,I'
m
pregnantandIdon' twanty ouanywherenear
mybaby "

Hechuckl
ed.

Zweli:
"Iknowy ouarepregnant,Ibuggedy our
placeremember ?Youmi ghthaver emovedthe
bugsbutInowknowal mostev erythingI
neededtoknow, ohanddoy outhinkIwantt hat
chil
d?Whet heryouki
lli
t,keepitorf eedi
ttot he
dogsIdon'tcare"

Me:"Wellgotohel
lyoubloodydevi
l,
Idon'
t
needyouanywayandy outhi
nkyoudoing
your
selfafav
ourbutyouareinfactmeandmy
chil
daf avourbynotwantingtobepartofher
l
ife,noonewoul dwanttohaveaweakf ather
l
ikey ou,youaretheweakestandfool
i
shguy
I'
veev erseen"

Uncl
eMkshowedmehisthumbtoi
ndi
cat
eit
wasfi
ne,
Ihungupwi
thtear
sst
reami
ngdown.
Howcoul
dhebesocruel
?

UncleMk:"Ididn'
tknowy ouwerepregnantbut
we'l
lgett
ot hatwhenI '
m doneher
e,I'
velocat
ed
hi
m andeacht i
mehemov esar
oundI'l
lknow.
Letmecallmyf r
iend"

Hegotupandcal
l
edsomeone.

Uncl
eMk: "
ShoTeelook,Ineedy
outogot o
somelocat
ion,
I'
ll
sendittoyouj
ustnow.You'
l
l
fi
ndacer
tai
nboyt
her
e,pl
easet
akehi
mtomy
pl
ace"

Hehungupandsentt
hel
ocat
ionandZwel
i
's
pi
ctur
e.

*
Simbongi
l
e*

Amandl a:
"Idon'tknowwhaty ouaretry
ingto
doorwhoy outhinkyouarebutmymom woul d
neverli
etomeandbesi dessharplet
'ssayshe
di
dl i
e,whydidn'tmydadl ookforme?What
eff
ortdidhedot oshowhel ov
esmeorhe
wantsme? "

Shewassoangry,
Itookapictur
eIgotfr
om the
photoal
bum,i
twasaphot oofheranduncleTk
thatt
imeshewasint
roducedtous,t
heylook
v
erymuchal
i
ke.

Me:
"Ist
hisnoty
ou?
"

Shet
ookthephot
oandl
ookedati
t,she
fr
owned.

Amandl
a:"
It
..
.wowi
tisme"

It
ookoutanot
herofherandus.

Me:
"Ont
hisone?I
sitnoty
ou?
"

Sheshedt
ear
s,Ihel
dherhands.

Me:
"Yourdadr
aisedus,
Hewasourmom'
s
husband.Hedi dn'tknowabouty ouunt ilyou
wereintr
oducedt ohim wheny ouwer e9or10,
hencethosepi ctures,l
aterony oudi sappear ed
againwit
hy ourmom, t
heyt ri
edev erythingt hey
coulddot of i
ndy oubuttheycoul dn't.Uncl eTk
i
sagoodmanAmandl a,I'
m notsay ingt akemy
wordbutpl easegi vehi
m achance, gomeet
him andhearhi ssideoft hestory.Thatman
rai
seduswhenourmom passedon, thatwas
10yearsagoandev ennow, hecont inuest o
rai
seussot hinkabouti t,whywoul dhet hrow
outhisbloodandt akecar eofpeopl ewhoar e
nothisbybl ood? "

Amandl
a:"
I.
..
Iwoul
dli
ket
omeethi
m"

Me:
"Ar
eyousur
e?"

Shenoddedamul
ti
plet
imes.
Amandl
a:"
Y..
.y
es,
I'
m sur
e"

Inodded,wehadourdri
nksbutshewasj
ust
absent,
Iguesshermindwasoccupi
edbywhat
Itol
dher.

*
Thokozani
*

Idi
dn'tknowwhatt
osaynext,
Ijustl
ookedat
herandmyheartdi
dwhatitdi
dwhenIf i
rstmet
Oyi.

Zandi
:"Can.
..canIhel
pyou?
"

Me:
"I.
..
canIcomei
n?"
Shef
rowned.

Zandi
:"Why
?"

Me:
"I.
..
I'
dli
ket
otal
ktoy
ou"

Wow,Isoundli
keafool.Iam r
eal
isi
ngnowt
hat
I
'
m ol
d,Inolongerhav
et hatTKcharm.

Zandi:
"Aren'ty
out heguywhocametothe
rest
auranttheotherdaywit
hyourki
ds?
"

Me:
"Gui
l
tyaschar
ged"

Sheal
l
owedmei
nandof
fer
edmeadr
ink.
Me:
"I'
l
lhav
eany
thi
ngy
ouhav
e"

Shenoddedandwentt
otheki
tchen,
shepour
ed
meaglassofjui
ce.

Me:
"Thanky
ou"

Shenodded.

Zandi:"
I.
..
I'
l
lgogetdr
essedt
henj
oiny
ou
short
ly"

Me:
"Okay
"

Shewasholdingontohertowelt
ight
ly.She
di
sappear
edintooneoftherooms,Isatther
e
aski
ngmyselfwhatt
osayordonext .
Shecamebackshort
lywear
ingaf
lor
aldr
ess,
shesatont
hecouch.

Zandi:
"SoMr.
..
.howcanIhel
pyou?Orand
fi
rst
lywher
edidyougetmyaddress?
"

Me: "
Fir
stl
ypleasecall
meThokozani
,secondl
y
Ipromisedthepersonwhogav
emey our
addressIwouldn'
ttel
lyou"

Shegi
ggl
ed.

Me: "
Ili
kedyoufrom t
hefi
rstdayIsawyouand
I
'm herebecauseIwouldl
i
ket oaskyououton
adate,maybewecangett oknoweachother"
Shesmi
l
ed.

Zandi
:"Whati
fIhav
eaman?
"

Me: "
WellIguessyourmanf oundatough
competit
or,hewil
lhavetopulluphi
ssocks
becauseyou'l
lbesnatchedawaysoon"

Shel
aughed.

Me:
"Mylady
,canIt
akey
ououtonadat
e
t
oni
ght
?"

Zandi
:"Okay
..
.Iguessi
twoul
dn'
thur
tri
ght
?"

Me:"
Ofcour
seitwoul
dn'
t,
letmegogetr
eady
,
I
'l
lpi
cky
ouuplater
"
Shenoddedandwal
kedmet
othedoor
.

#Unedi
ted
#SJ
#Goodmor
ning
Si
mbongi
l
e'sJour
ney
*
Prev
iousl
yonSJ*
Ol
uhleandMkhuselidi
scover
edt hatZwel
i
pl
ant
edbugsinOluhle'
sapart
ment ,
meanwhi
le
Si
mbongil
emanagedt oconvinceAmandlato
meetupwithherf
atherandheart hesi
deofhi
s
st
ory.
Thokozani
final
lygott
hecour
aget
ogof
indt
he
womanhel oves.

I
nser
t6.
*
Zwel
i
*

Immedi at elywhenIr eali

sedt hatIcoul dn'thear
whatOl uhl eandheruncl ewer esay ingIf igured
thathepr obablyf oundt hebugs, Ihav emett hat
guyaf ewt i
mesandIknowv erywel lt hathe
didn'tlikeme, Ialsoknowhei sv erysmar tso
chancesofhi m comi ngf ormear ev er yhi gh.I
hav etogetoutofher ebeforeheget st ome
fi
rst ,
Iregr eteveragr eeingtobepar toft his
whol et hing.Her e'st het hing,mysi steri st he
onlyper sonwhogi v esmemoney ,wel ostour
par entsandwel laf termat ri
cInev erf ound
i
nt eresti ngoi ngfur therwi thmyst udi es, Inev er
reallylov edschool soIam j ustahust lerbutas
youal lknowhust linghasnoguar ant ees,
somet i
mesy ouwi n, somet i
mesy oul osesomy
sistermakessur emyl i
festyl
eismai nt ai
ned.
Whensheaskedmet odot hi
sf orher , Ir
ef used
atf
ir
stbutshethr
eat
enedtostopsendingme
moneyandfrom t
henIdi
dn'
tthinkt
wice.

Iam herepackingmystuff
,impor
tantstuffat
l
east,Ifearformyl
if
e.AssoonasIf i
nished
packi
ngIdi all
edmysist
er'
snumbersjustto
i
nform her.

Samke:"Heyl
i
ttl
ebr
other
,hopey
ouhav
egood
newsforme"

Me: "
WellsisiIwi
shIdid,Mkhusel i
foundt he
bugsandI'm sureheiscomi ngformer ight
now.I'
m calli
ngtoletyouknowt hatI'
ml eaving
thi
splace,Ihavetohideatleastforsomet i
me
andwehav etostopcontacti
ngeachot her"

Iheadedt
othedoorwhi
l
ehol
dingmybagsand
myphoneont
heear
,bal
ancedbymyshoul
der
.

Samke:
"Soy
oumeantotel
lmeIwill
haveto
st
ayher
esomemore?Zwel
iIcan'
taf
for
dto..
..
"

Iopenedthedoorandt herewasaman
standi
ngthere,
hewaschewi ngagum, he
smiledsoonasIopened, Ifr
ozeanddropped
myphone.Iknowf oraf actthathewassentby
Mkhuseli
,theconni
vingsmi l
esay si
tal
l.

Hi
m: "
Ohno!!Cont
inuewi
tht
hecal
l
,don'
tl
etme
di
stur
byou"

Hesai
dthatwhi
l
epi
cki
ngupt
hephone.

Il
ookedatt
hephonei
nhi
shand,
hehandedi
t
ov
ert
omeandSamkewasst
il
lont
hephone.

Samke:
"Zwel
i
!!!Hel
l
o..
.ar
eyout
her
e?"

Me:
"I.
..
lookI
'
llcal
lyouback"

Ihungup.

Hi
m:"
Goi
ngsomewher
e?"

Me:
"Whoar
eyouandwhatdoy
ouwant
?"

It
ri
edact
ingt
hough.

Hi
m:"
I'
m av
eryni
ceper
sonandIwanty
ou"
Me:
"Youwantme?Whatdoy
ouwantwi
thme?
"

Him: "
Iwantnot
hingwit
hyou,Ij
ustwantyouto
putthosebagsdown,sl
owlywal
ktothatcar
parkedbythegat
e,geti
nsi
deandsitst
il
l"

Me:
"Andi
fIdon'
t?
"

Hechuckl
edandbecameser
iousi
nst
ant
ly.

Him: "
I'
ll
havet
opickyouup,Ir
eall
ydon'tmind
doingthatsoi
t'
suptoyou,y
oueitherwalkby
yoursel
forIpi
ckyouupli
keabride"

Isi
ghedandputmybagsdownandsl
owl
y
wal
kedtowar
dsthegate.
Hi
m:"
Goodgi
rl
"

Ist
oppedandl
ookedathi
m.

Me:
"I'
m notagi
rl
"

Hi
m:"
Keepwal
ki
ng"

Me:
"No!
!"

Hef
oll
owedme,
gott
omeandhel
dmyhand.

Him:"
Comelet'
sgo,I
'
m aver
ybusymanandI
don'
tappr
eci
ateaper
sonwhowastesmyti
me"

Hepul
l
edmebyf
orcet
othecar
,openedt
he
backdoorandshovedmei
nsi
de,
Isur
efel
tli
ke
agir
lthathesai
dIam.
Hel
ockedt
hedoorandwentt
othedri
ver
'sseat
.
Hedr
oveawayandplay
edasong.
..

Umkhul
eko.
..
.
Unamandl
a..
..
.
Umasi
khul
eka,
ngokukhol
wa.
..
..
UJesul
alel
a..
..
Aphendul
'umkhul
eko.
..
Let
hakonkekuJesu.
..
.
Ngomkhul
eko.
..
.

Het
henl
ookedatmet
hrought
hemi
rr
or.

Hi
m:"
Cany
ouheart
hissong?
"
Ikeptqui
et.

Hi
m: "
Star
tpr
ayi
ng,Godwil
lanswery
our
pr
ayer
s..
..
maybet
hatis"

Hethensangal
ongt
hesong,
hewasso
i
rr
it
ati
ng.

*
Simbongi
l
e*

Ij
ustfi
nishedbathi
ng,Amandlaagreedto
fi
nal
lymeetuncleTkandIwantt omakesur e
i
t'
stodaybeforeshechangeshermi nd,Iknowa
l
otcanhappenatni ght
,shemighttalktoher
motherandshemi ghtchangehermi ndsoI
wantthem tomeettoday,bef
orethi
ngschange.
Isentherourhomeaddress,
t henIdeci
dedt
o
cal
luncleTkincasehehasplans.

Heanswer
ed,
hesoundshappy
.

Dad:
"Son"

Me:
"Someone'
sinagoodmood"

Hechuckl
ed.

Dad:
"Can'
tIbehappyf
oronce?
"

Ismil
ed,Iknowt hisi
smor ethanjustwanti
ng
tobe"Happy"justforonce,i
t'
sniceheari
nghim
happynonetheless.
Me: "
WellI
'm gl
ady
ouarehappy
,Imi
ghtj
ustl
i
ft
yourspi
ri
tsevenmore"

Dad:
"OkayI
'
mli
steni
ng"

Me:"
Tel
lSbani
topr
epar
esomet
hingni
ce,
I'
m
al
socomi
ngtohel
pher"

Dad:"
EyEyEy.
..
Ihav
eadat
etoday
,can'
twedo
i
ttomorr
ow?"

Me: "Nodadwecan't,i
t'
sveryveryandImean
veryimport
ant,
pleaseI'
m beggingyou.Okay
how'saboutyouinvi
tethepersonyougoingto
dinnerwi
thover?"
Hesi
ghed.

Dad:"
Fine.
..
letmecallherandseei fshe'
llagree,
i
fshedoesn'tagr
eesonI 'm nothavi
ngit.Iknow
you'
dneversaysomet hi
ngisi mport
antwhi l
e
i
t'
snotthat'
swhyI'm agreei
ngt othi
s"

Me:
"Thanksdad,
Ipr
omi
sey
ouwon'
tregr
eti
t"

Dad:
"Shar
pmf
ana,
letmecal
lher
"

Hehungup,Idon'
tknowit'
stheli
ghtatt
heend
oft
hetunnelt
hatIseebutthi
ngsseem t
obe
l
ooki
ngupafteralongti
me.

Ical
l
edOluhl
ewhil
egoingt
othecar,
Iknow
she'
l
lsaynobutI
'
m nothav
ingi
t,I
'
m picki
ngher
up.

Ol
u:"
Lit
tl
ebr
o"

Me:
"Heysi
s,getr
eadyI
'
m pi
cki
ngy
ouup"

Ol
u:"Youmustbecr
azy
,younotaski
ngmey ou
t
ell
i
ngme.I'
m noti
namoodt ogoanywher
e"

Me:"
I'
ll
betherei
naf ew,pl
easebereadywhenI
ar
ri
veother
wiseyou'
l
l l
eavei
nthosepyjamas"

Shel
aughed.

Ol
u:"
Howdi
dyouknowI
'
minmypy
jamas?
"
Me:"You'r
emysi
sterhav
eyouf
orgott
en?I
knowy oumor
ethanyouknowy
oursel
f"

Olu:"
Yeahwhat
ever
,letmegochange.I
'
m not
bathi
ng"

Me:"Whatev
er,
sol
ongasy
ou'
l
lber
eadywhenI
gett
here"

Shel
aughed,
Ihungupanddr
ovet
oherpl
ace.
Halfanhourl
aterIwast
her
e,Iknockedcause
thedoorwaslocked,
somet
hingshehardl
y
does.

Me:
"Whyi
sthedoorl
ocked?
"

Shecamet
othel
ounge,
wear
ingj
eansand
hoodi
ejacketandsneaker
s,not
hingf
ancybut
notbadaswell.

Olu:"Wel lyouwon' tbel i

evewhathappened, I
call
edMkhusel it
ot ellhi
m whatwashappeni ng,
Iwant edtodumpZwel isoIneedhi sprotection
i
ncaseZwel i
doessomet hingoutofchar acter,
hecameandZwel icall
edt osayhe' snol onger
comi ng,somet hi
ngcameup, Uncl eMkf igured
thathemi ghtbeawar eofhi spr esence,he
checkedt hewhol eapar tmentf orbugsandt hey
weret here,Zwel ibuggedt hiswhol eapar tment
cany oubel ieveit
?Heknewev erythingwewer e
sayingandIguessupdat edhi ssi steror
what everthatmur dererist oher ,souncleMk
suggest edt hatIkeept hedoorl ocked, he
doesn'ttrustsecur ityofthispl ace."

Whatt
hehel
l
?Wow.
Me:"That'
scr
azy
...
.butdon'
tworr
y,he'
l
lpay
dear
ly,bot
hhi
m andhi ssi
ster
.Wearenotones
tobemessedwith"

Shet
ookherbag,
wewal
kedt
othecar
.

Ol
u:"
Wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?
"

Itol
dherev
ery
thi
ngt
hatwi
l
lbehappeni
ng
today.

Me:"AndIthi
nkdadmetsomeone,theywer
e
supposedt
ogooutfordi
nnerbutIaskedhi
m
tobri
ngheroveri
nst
ead"

Shepoppedherey
es,
beamedwi
thexci
tement
.
We'vebeenver
ywor
ri
edabouthi
m,he'
sbeen
hol
dingontomom f
or10year
s,her
eal
lyneeds
tohaveawoman.

Ol
u:"
WowIcan'
twai
tfort
his"

*
Amandl
a*

Ijustfi
nishedprepar i
ngmy self
,I'
m nowgoi ng
tomeetmysupposedf at
her .Idon'twantto
trustSi
mbongi lebutt hepicturesheshowedme
aresomehowpr oofthathewasn' tlying,why
woul dhel i
eanyway ?Idon' tthi
nkhehasany
reasonto.Igot ot hecar,punchedt headdr ess
ont heGPSandsatt her
ef orsomet ime.Isaida
l
ittl
epray er
,I'
mr eall
yhopi ngmom di dn'tli
eto
mebecausei fshedi dI'
llhateher.
It
ookmyphone,
dial
l
edmom'
snumber
sbut
thenst
opped,Iknowshe'
ll
plantdoubt
sinmy
head,I
'
m abiggirlnowsoIhavetomakemy
owndecisi
ons.
Idr
oveoutandheadedt
her
e.

*
Thokozani
*

Mykidswer eal
readygather
edar oundthetabl
e,
Zandil
ealsoagreedtocomeal t
houghshewas
hesi
tantatfi
rst
.Shewasscar edthattheymight
notl
ikeherbutIassuredherthattheywon'
t.
Thetablewassat,al
lthatwaslef
twasourtwo
guest
st oarr
ive,
onebeingZandiandtheot
her
onebeingtheoneIknownot hi
ngabout.

Theint
ercom buzz
ed,Sbaniwentt
oopenand
shecamebackwi thZandi
le.
Ismi
l
ed,
shel
ookedbeaut
if
ulandhad
chocolat
es,
wineandfl
ower
sinherhand.She
didn'
thavet
oreal
ly.

Zandi
l
e:"
Hel
l
oev
ery
one"

Sbani
:"Hy
yyy
y"

Shesai
dwit
hhersqueakyv
oiceandev
ery
one
l
aughed.

Phakade:
"Si
sidon'
tst
art
"

Welaughedagai
n,Ilov
etheseki
ds,
theymake
ev
eryt
hingbet
ter
,theymakethi
shouseahome.
Theyall
greet
edbackwithsomuchwar
mth,
I
betshefel
twelcomeal
ready
.
Me: "
Okaykidsthi
sisZandile,
Zandimeetmy
kids,
thi
sisthei
roldersi
sterOluhl
e,t
hisoneis
thebrot
herSimbongil
eandt heonethatopened
thedoorforyouisSbaniandhereismylit
tl
e
champPhakade"

Oluhl
e:"
Wear
esopl
easedt
omeety
ouAunt
ie
Zandi
le"

Zandi
:"Li
kewise,y
ouhav
eabeaut
if
ulhomeand
beaut
if
ulkidstoo"

Sbani
:"Oht
hanky
ouMa.
..
I'
mthemostbeaut
if
ul
Iknow"

Wel
aughed.
Phakade:
"St
opf
lat
ter
ingy
our
sel
f"

Zandi:"
Idi
dn'
tknowwhatt
obr
ingsoIbr
ought
these"

Ol
u:"
Ohthankyou,
youreal
lydi
dn'
thav
eto.
..
I'
l
l
j
ustt
aket
heflower
sthough"

Sbani
:"Haaaasi
sif
lower
sar
emi
ne"

Thei
ntercom buzz
edonceagai
n,i
tsav
edus
fr
om Sbani.
Iguessit
'stheguestwewerenowwaiti
ngf
or,
Simbongil
estoodupthisti
me,hewentt
oopen
andcamebackwi ththe.
..
..

Ohhel
lno!
!!Myhear
t.
..
.If
eltsweat
y.
Ol
uhl
e:"
Dad.
..
dadar
eyouokay
?"

Il
ookedather
,it
'sher
,mydaught
er.Shel
ooks
exact
lyl
i
keme.

#Unedi
ted
#SJ

Justbecausemyl
oves,
justbecause
I
nser
t7.

*
NARRATED*

Thokozani
:"Amandl
a"
Immedi atelyaf t
erThokozani sai
dthosewor ds,
Amandl a'st earsstr
eameddown.Shewas
cert
aint hatt hi
sisindeedhi sfat
her,shekindof
remember st hefacebutapar tfr
om shecansee
theresembl ance,notonlydoesshel ooklike
Thokozani butPhakadet oo.Theonlyt hi
ngshe
wantstoknownowt hatsheknowst hatfor
surethatt hisisherfather,
iswhathappened?
Whywashenoti nherlif
ef orsolong?

Si
mbongi
l
e:"
Pleasesi
t"

Heopenedachai
rforAmandl
a,shetookasit
andwipedof
fhert
ears.Si
mbongi
lealsowent
tosi
tdown.

Simbongil
e:"Ever
yonemeetAmandl
a,Amandl
a
thi
siseveryone"
Theylaughedandt
hatbr
oket
hesi
l
enceand
tensi
on.

Simbongi l
e:"I
'
mj oki
ng,Amandlathi
si smy
famil
y..
.yourfamily
.That'
sdad,yourfatherand
nexttoheri sMam Zandil
edad'swomanand
thenthereisourbigsist
erOluhl
e,Sbani nextt
o
herandt helastbornPhakade.
..
seehowmuch
youguy slookali
ke"

Shesmi l
edawkwar dl
y,apartofherhappytobe
surr
oundedbysomanypeopl ewhoseem t obe
l
ovingeachother.Sheknowsnot hi
ngabout
famil
y,i
t'
salwaysbeenherandhermom, she
neverhadsibl
i
ngsorany onetotalktowhichled
toherbeingalonerandsheenjoysher
companyandkeepi ngtohersel
f.
Amandl
a:"
Nicet
omeety
oual
l
"

Sbani
:"Li
kewiseAmandl
a,al
thought
hisf
eel
s
l
ikedej
av u"

Ol
uhle:
"Iknowright?We'
vehadthi
skindof
di
nnerbefor
e,10y ear
sagowhenyourmom
i
ntr
oducedyoutous"

Theywer etalkingl
iket hat,Thokozaniwasjust
l
ookingathi sdaught erandhef elthateand
disgustgrowinginsideofhi m.Howsi ckand
twistedcanSamkel isiwebe?Het houghtto
himself.Keepingachi l
df rom him hi
swholelif
e?
Butmor ethanany thinghet houghtofhislat
e
wifeandhowhewant sjusti
ceforher.

Zandi
:"Ar
eyouokay
?"
Zandi
lewasal soconf
usedbecauseshehadno
i
deawhatwashappeni ngbutsheisanadult
,
shecanseeandf eelt
hetensi
onand
awkwardnessaroundthetabl
eandlooki
ngat
Thokozanishecanseethathe'
snotokay.

Thokozani
:"I
..
.I
'
mfi
ne,
I'
m okay
"

Hekissedherhandtoassur
ehert
hathe'
sfi
ne,
eventhoughdeepinsi
deheknewhewasfar
fr
om beingfi
ne.

Simbongile:"
DadIknowy ouneedanswer s,
I
knowhal fofthestor
ybutAmandlawil
ltellyou
ever
ythingandIknowt hi
sisashocktoy oubut
i
thadt obedone. "
Thokozaninoddedasasignt osayhemustgo
on,meanwhileOluhl
eont heotherendofthe
tabl
eDishedupf orpeopl
eandZandi l
edecided
tohelpout.

Simbongi l
e: "
SoDadsomet i
meagoIhada
visi
on, i
nmyv i
sionIwasatCampusandI
happenedt obumpi nt othisgirl
,f
oral ongt i
meI
wonder edwhydi dIhav ethatv i
sion,Icouldn't
getanswer sbutevent uall
yIfoundoutt hatthi
s
girlhasalltheanswer sweneed.Idi dn'tsay
anythingbecauseIwant edtobesur eofwhat
wasgoi ngandaweekorsol aterIbumpedi nt
o
Amandl a,Immedi atelyaf t
erbumpi ngi ntoherI
remember edthatv i
sionandl ookingatherI
reali
sedshe' sthesamegi rlinmyv ision.She
i
nt r
oducedher selfasAmandl aandassoonas
shesai dthatIknewi twasnocoi ncidence,I
knewshewasy ourdaught er.
"
Thokozani
sighedandr
ubbedherf
ace.

*
Thokozani
*

Icouldn'tbeli
evethis,I'
vehadmyf ai
rshareof
sleeplessnights,t
hinkingofmydaught erand
wher ecouldshebed, whatshe'sdoingseeing
thatshehasacr azymot herbutIcansaf ely
Simbongi l
eisabl essinginmyl if
eand
everyone'sli
feforthatmat t
er,Idon'tt
hinkI
couldhav ereunit
edwi t
hherifitwasn'tforhi
m,
atleastnotnow.

Me:
"Howar
eyouAmmy
?"

Amandl
a:"
I'
m okay
..
.Iguess"
Me:"Iknowyoumustbehav i
ngalotof
questi
onsandpleasefeel
freetoaskthem,
I'
ll
answeryoutr
uthful
ly
"

Amandl
a:"
Whyhav en'
tyoubeenpar
tofmyl
i
fe?
For10y
ears?Act
uall
yallmyli
fe?
"

Me:
"Di
dyouev
erasky
ourmom t
hatquest
ion?
"

Amandl
a:"
YesIdi
d"

Me:
"And?
"

Amandl a:"Shesaidyoufoundanotherwoman,I
supposet hatwouldbeSimbo'smom andwhen
shetoldy ouaboutmey ouflatoutt
oldherthat
I'
m noty ours,
thatyou'
dkil
lthebothofusifshe
f
orcesmedownyourt
hroatbecauseshe'
l
lrui
n
t
hingsbet
weeny
ouandy ourwif
e"

Ishookmyhead,It
houghtIknewSamkeli
siwe
buttur
nsIknewabsol
utel
ynothi
ngabouther.

Me: "Amandl ababy ,I'

m notonet odenymy
blood, Iwoul dnev erdothat .Yourmom andI
dat edi nthepast ,t
henIhadmoneybutnot
enoughf orher .Shecheatedonmeor
somet hingl i
ket hatbutev entuallysheleftme,
say ingshel ovessomeoneel se.Ilovedher ,I
l
ov edhersomuchsoy oucani maginehow
har dt hatwasf orme, Ihadt omov eonand
acceptt hatshel eft
,Ihel
dont oherandi twas
har df ormet omov eonbutaf teryearsIfinal
ly
mov edon, ImetSi mbongi le'smom andf elli
n
l
ov ewi thher .Aftersometimeofbei ngi na
relationshipwi thSimbo'smom, Ipaidlobola
andwewer esoont ogetmar ried,wef oundout
thatshewaspr egnantandwewer esohappy .
Yourmom r ockedupunexpect edly,shet ol
dme
wehav eachi l
d.Atf irstIdi dn'tbeliev eher ,Itold
herIwant edt oseey ou.Youwer eni ney ears
oldthen, shecamewi t
hy ouandf orsur eIknew
youwer emi ne, everythingabouty ouwas
similartomi ne, y
oul ookedl i
kemeandIwas
happyt hatIhav eadaught er.Iwassomadat
herf ornott ell
ingmeabouty ouf orsol ong, I
hadmi ssedoutonmanyoccasi onsofy ourlife,
shest artedt hreateningmywi fe,tell
inghert hat
I'
llcomebackt oher, Ibelongt oherandal lthat.
Thisonet imeIdeci dedt ot akemywi feoutf or
l
unch, Idon' tknowhowy ourmot herknewt hat
wewer egoi ngt omywi fe'sfav ouriter estaurant
butwhenwegott her eweor der edf ood, arebut
halfwayt hrougheat ingwest artedf eelingsi ck,
webot hpassedoutandwer et akent ohospi tal.
Whenwegott heretheydet ect edf ood
poisoningi noursy stem, Iwasconf usedand
frustratedbecausemywi fewaspr egnantwi th
Phakade, thatpoi sonaf fect edhermor e.Ipul l
ed
throughbutheront heot herhandhadt of i
ght
forbot hherl if
eandourson.Thedoct orsfinall
y
saidonl yonecanpul lthr ough, eit
hermywi feor
thebabybutmywi fedi edbef or ewecoul dev en
makeasol iddeci sion, she. .
.shedi ed,she
passedandmybr ot herdeci dedt ogof i
ndout
whatexact lyhappened, whywasourf ood
poisoned, hegott hef oot ageandy ourmom
appear edoni t,shei st heonet hatpaidt he
wai t
ert opoi sonourf ood, sheki ll
edmywi fe
Amandl aandr anaway ,Il ookedf orherbut
didn'tfindher ,Isear chedev ery wher eforherbut
Ijustdi dn'
tf i
ndher ,shel eftwi thy ouandt hat
wast helastt i
meIsawy ou.Somybabyi fyou
wantt oblameany onef ormyabsencei ny our
l
ife,thatwoul dbey ourmom, Iwant edtot ake
youawayf rom herandr aisey oubymy self,I
couldhav emanagedbecauseIdi dmanaget o
raiseal lt
heseki dsy ouseeher e"
Icouldn'
tcontr
olmytears,thi
nkingofhowmy
wifediedsti
l
lhauntsme, shediedhavi
ngto
decidewhethertosav
eher sel
foroursonand
thathurt
smet othecore,Iwil
lneverever
forgi
veSamkelisi
we.
Iwipedoffmytears,
Phakadecametosi
ton
myl apandshushedme,hewipedof
fmytear
s
andkissedmycheek.

Phakade:
"Don'tcrydaddy
,remembery
out
old
mebigboy sdon'tcr
y"

Ismi
l
edandnodded.

Me:
"Yesbi
gboy
sdon'
tcr
y"
Amandl a:"WowI .
..
ohmyGod, howcoul dshe
dothat ,shel i
edt ome. ..shedeniedmean
oppor tunit
yt ohav eaf ather.Thisexpl ai
nswhyI
washomeschool ed, Ihadnof ri
ends, Wewer e
alway sindoor s,shecr eatedanof f i
cespace
andwor kedf rom home, sheshoppedonl inefor
anythingandev erythingweneededonl i
ne,fr
om
groceries,clothesImeanev erything.Iasked
herwhycoul dn'twel iveanor mal l
ifeshesai d
wedi dn'tneedany thingf r
om theout sidewor l
d,
wewer eokayl i
kethat ,Iendedupadj usti
ngt o
thatli
febutwhenIf i
nishedwi thmyGr ade12I
decidedIwantt ocomebackt oSout hAf ri
ca
andf urthermyst udiesher e,atfir
stsher efused
butIgav ehernochoi ce"

Ol
uhl
e:"
WowI
..
.I
'
m sospeechl
ess"

Amandl
a:"
I'
m sosor
ryf
orev
ery
thi
ngy
ouhad
t
hroughal
lthatbecauseofher
"

Me:
"Comeher
e"

Igotup,
sheal
sodi
d.Ihuggedher
,shebr
oke
down.

Me:"Shhh.
..
.i
t'
sokaybaby,y
ouarehomenow
andI'
my ourdad.Il
oveyouandwewil
lmakeup
forl
ostti
meokay ?"

Shenodded,
Iwi
pedof
fhert
ear
sandki
ssedher
for
ehead.

Me:
"Il
ovey
ouNana"

Amandl
a:"
Ilov
eyout
oo"
Shani
:"Wuuuuuwhatasai
dyethappyday
,let
's
eatPeopl
e."

Weallsatdownandat
e,Ol
uhl
ekeptonst
eal
i
ng
gl
ancesatme.

Me:
"Outwi
thi
tmyl
ove"

Shesi
ghed.

Ol
uhl
e:"
Iguesst
hef
ami
l
yisgr
owi
ng"

Me:
"Yeahi
tis,
youdon'
tl
ookhappyt
hough"

Ol
uhl
e:"
NoIam dad.
..
whatImeani
sI.
..
I'
m
pr
egnant
"

Ist
oppedeat
ingandl
ookedather
.

Me:
"What
?"

Ol
uhl
e:"
I'
m pr
egnant
"

Me:
"Zwel
i
?"

Shenodded,Isighed.I
'
m notgonnal
i
eandsay
I
'm happybecauseIhatethatboy
.

Si
mbongile:
"Well
dadweal sofoundoutthat
Zwelii
sAmandla'
suncl
e,hewaswi thOluhl
efor
areason,
hewasspyingforhersist
er"
Me/
Amandl
a:"
What
?"

Webot
hsai
dsi
mul
taneousl
y.

Ol
uhl
e:"
Yep!
!That
'swhyIseem sounhappy
"

Zandi
l
ehel
dOl
uhl
e'
shand.

Zandi:"
Idon'
tknowhalfofwhat '
shappening
butwhatIdoknowi sthatkidsareablessi
ng
andI'l
lbeher
et ohel
py outhroughoutyour
pregnancy
,I'
m heret
ost ay
"

Ismi
l
edandl
ookedather
,di
dshej
ustsayt
hat
?
Ol
uhl
enodded.

*
Zwel
i
*

Iwast
iedt
oachai
r,Iwassot
hir
sty
.
AsIwassi
tt
ingther
e,Mkhusel
iwal
kedi
n.He
l
ookedsosoangry.

Mkhuseli
:"I
'
m goi
ngtosparey
ourl
if
e,Ionl
y
wantanswersfr
om y
ou,arewecl
ear?"

Il
ookedathi
m.

Mkhusel
i
:"OkayI
'
llber
ightback"

Hel
eftaf
tersomeonehecamebackwi
that
wo
pl
atest
oveandex
tensi
on.

Mkhuseli
:"Angi
thandiukuzi
phindaphi
nda
mangikhuluma"(Idon'
tli
kerepeati
ngmysel
f
whenItalk)

Me:
"What
'st
hatf
or?
"

Mkhusel
i
:"Thi
sismyweapont
omakey
out
alk,
sol
et'
sstar
t"

Hepl
uggedt
hest
ove,
swi
tchedi
ton.I
twasr
ed.

Mkhuseli
:"Letmeshowy
ouanexampl
eofhow
wewill
dot his"

Het
ookof
fmyshoes,
Itr
iedf
ight
inghi
m of
fbut
hefor
cef
ull
yputbot
hmyf
eetont
hest
ove.I
gr
oaned.

Me:
"Ahhhh.
..f
uckst
opman"

Hechuckl
edandst
opped.

Mkhusel
i
:"Goodmytechni
queisworki
ng,
now
t
ell
me.Wher et
hehel
lisyoursi
ster
?"

Me:
"Who'
smysi
ster
?"

Hesl
ammedme,
andputmyl
eftf
oott
her
e.

Mkhusel
i
:"Tal
k!!
!Tal
kdammi
t"
Icoul
dfeel
myf
eetbur
ning.

Me:
"Okay
..
.okayI'
ll
t al
k,pl
ease.
..
.Ahhhh
r
emovemyfootthere"

Mkhusel
i
:"Fut
sek!
!!Khul
umamf
ana"(
Tal
kboy
)

Hewasgett
ingmoreandmor
eangr
y,andhe
wasnotr
emov i
ngmyfoot
.

Me:
"Ca.
..Canada,
shei
sinCanada"

Het
ookmyphonef
rom mypocket
,connect
edi
t
t
ohi
slapt
op.

Me:
"Pl
easel
etmego"
Mkhusel
i:
"Yousti
llgonnapayf
orimpregnat
ing
mychil
dthentel
lherthaty
oudon'
tcareabout
t
hebaby..
yougonnaknowmet oday"

Hedidhist
hingont
hel
apt
op,
myf
eetwasso
pai
nful
.

#Unedi
ted
#SJ
I
nser
t8.

AWEEKLATER.
*
Simbongi
l
e*

Ihavenev
erseendadsohappy,
Icoul
dgive
anyt
hingt
oseehimthi
shappy.Hedeser
ves
ev
erysingl
ebitofhappi
ness,
he'
sbeen
miser
ablefor10year
s.
TodayI '
mv i
sit
ingmyf ather
,twi
nsandMa
Snethemba.Ihav en'tseenthem i
nages,Ieven
feel
likeI'
veneglectedt hem.Wellnoneofthem
knowt hatI
'm coming, Iwanttosurpri
sethem.
Ifi
nishedbathi
ng,hadbr eakf
astandl ef
t .Onmy
wayt her
eIkeptonget t
ingv i
sions,i
t'
slike
ther
e'sawomant hatawaitsme, shecomesal l
thewayf r
om Botswanaandi tlookslikeIhave
tohelpher.

Idecidedtoputthatvisionasideandcontinue
dri
vingbutIgotthisterri
bleheadache,itf
orced
met ostopdrivi
ng.Iparkedont hesi
deand
cl
osedmyey es.Isawt hisgi
rl
, shewas
screamingandbl oodwasoozi ngoutofher
eyesandnose, holdi
ngherheadwi ththeother
handwhi l
etheotheronewashol di
ngher
st
omach.
"
Nooo!!!Noleavemeal one,pl
easeletmego"
Andthenimmedi at
elyaft
erherloudscreams,I
fel
tasharppainonmyst omach,Ihel
dont o
thest
ir
ring.

Asnakemadeitswaytoher,
av er
ybi
gsnake,
shescr
am outl
oudandwitheachscr
eam If
elt
l
ikeIwasbei
ngstabbedal
lovermybody
.
Itookmyphoneanddi
all
edMaSne'snumbers,
she'st
heonl
yonewhounder
standsmycall
i
ng.

Sne:
"Oowwboyboy
"

Me:
"Ma.
..
I.
..
Ouch!
!I'
m..
..
"

Sne:
"St
ayr
ightt
her
e,I
'
m comi
ng.I
'
m comi
ng"
Ihungup,
Sheal
readyknowswher
eIam.
Isatt
here,
thepai
nkeptoncomingandgoing,
whenthegir
lscr
eamsIalsof
eltt
hepain.
30Minut
esorsol
aterMaSne'
scarpul
ledup
nextt
omine,
Shegotoffandr
ushedt
ome.

Sne:
"Sengi
khona,
whatdoy
ousee?
"(I
'
m her
e
now)

Me:"
A..
.Agi
rl
,sheseemstobeinpai
n,each
t
imeshescr
eams,Igett
hisexcr
uci
ati
ngpain"

Sne:"Let
'sgo,I'
llcal
lyourfat
hertohav
e
someonepi cky ourcarup.Weneedtogo
consultwit
htheancest orsandfi
ndoutmor
e
aboutthisgir
lthatyousee."
Withthel
it
tl
estr
engt
hIhad, Icl
i
mbedoutofthe
carandwalkedt
ohers.Shedroveof
fandcal
l
ed
mydadt ohavemycarpickedup.
Wegott oherpl ace,wher eshedoesher
ancest
ralj
obandconsul tat
ion.Wesatdown,
sheli
tcandles,wepr ayed.Shet hencal l
edup
theKuneneandMbat haancest ors, sheasked
them t
oshowmet hewayandi nt hatvery
momentl i
ghtingst r
uck, mindy oui twasv er
y
muchhotout sidewhenwear rivedherbutal lof
asuddenitstartedr aini
ngwi ththunder .

Thatgir
l'
scryandscreamsbecamel ouderand
l
ouder,MaSnewasbeggi ngtheancestorsto
showmet hewayandt henIhadthisother
vi
sionwhereIsawwher ethi
sgir
lis.Ij
uststood
up,rai
noutandt ookhercarkeys,rantothecar
anddroveoff.Theheavyrainwasmaki ngit
har
dformet
oseewaybutIknewwher
eIwas
goi
ng.

*
SAMKELI
SIWE*

Ihaven'
theardfr
om Zwel i
andi t
'sbeenaweek,
I'
m wonderi
ngwhatt heydidtohim.I fanythi
ng
happenstohim,Iwon'tforgi
vemy sel
f.I
'veal
so
beentry
ingtocontactAmandl a,she'snot
taki
ngmycal l
s.Whatifsomet hi
nghappenedt o
mydaughter?Itookmyphoneanddi all
edher
onemor eti
me.

Ammy
:"Hey
"

Socol
d.
Me: "
Amandlawhat
'swr
ongwithy
ou?it
'sbeen
overaweek,I
'v
ebeentr
yingt
ocal
lyouandyou
haven'
tbeenpi
cki
ngup"

Ammy:"
Trustmeyoudon'twannaknowwhat
mypr
obl
em is.Whatdoyouwantmom? "

Me:"WhatdoIwant?Si
ncefrom whendoy
ou
askwhatIwantwhenIcal
lyou?"

Ammy : "
SinceIreali
sedthatIhav ealierand
murdererofamot her,
youliedandkeptme
awayfrom mydadf oryears,Imissedoutona
l
otofy ears,somethingIcannevergetback.
yousaidheabandonedmebutt urnsouty ou
l
ied,wellImethim andwear ewor ki
ngonour
rel
ati
onship,Ihateyou"
Shehungup,
Itr
iedcal
li
ngheragai
nbutshe
rej
ect
edmycall
.Ij
ustcri
ed,
thesoundofher
voi
cegavei
tawaythatsher
eall
ydoeshat
eme.

AsIwassitti
ngtheredigest
ingwhatAmmy
sai
d,thedoorbell
rang.Whocoul di
tbecause
nobodyknowsmeorAmmy , we'
veal
waysbeen
l
ockingoursel
vesinsi
de.Igotupandwentto
open.

"
Mehl
omadal
a"

If
roze.

*
Thokozani
*

Iam par
kingout
sideZandi
'
swor
kpl
ace,
I'
m her
e
topickherup, I'
mt akingheroutf orlunch.We
havebeenspendi ngt i
metoget herandget ting
toknoweachot her .She'
sav erynicewoman
andsomet hingaboutherr emindsmeofOy i
, I
j
ustcan'tputmyf ingertoit,
buti t
'sthere.AsI
wassi t
ti
ngint hecarIsawherappr oaching,
she'
sapeopl e'sper son.Shekeepsongr eeting
peopleonherwayt othecaratt hepar ki
ngl ot
andI'mthinking"Howdoessheknowal lthese
people?"

Iopenedthedoorforherf
rom t
hei
nsi
de,
she
gotinandIhuggedher.

Zandi
:"Hel
l
o"

Me:"SawubonaMa,
unj
ani
?"(
Hel
l
o,howar
e
you?
)
Zandi
:"I
'
m goody
our
sel
f?"

Me:
"NoI
'
m good,
shal
lwego?
"

Zandi
:"YeahbutifImayask,wear
eatt
hemal
l
,
whyarenothavinglunchher
e?"

Me:
"Iwannat
akey
out
oourr
est
aur
ant
"

shef
rowned,
Iknowshe'
sconf
used.

Zandi
:"YourRest
aur
ant
?"

Me:"Yes.
..
KwaSibali
khul
u,mor
elikeafamil
y
busi
nessbutmostlyranbymybrotherwhom
y
ouar
eyett
omeet
"

Zandi
:"Ohwow,
that
'sni
ce"

Wedrovet her
eandinnoti
mewearr
ived,
she
or
deredpapandMogoduandtheexci
tement
onherface..
.pri
cel
ess.

*
NARRATED*

Oluhl
ewasnotf eeli
ngwell,shedecidedtodriv
e
tothedoctorbecauseshef earedforherbaby.
Asmuchasshedi dn'
tplant ohavethisbaby,
shehasfalleni
nlovewithhi m orherandit
wouldhurthershouldanythinghappentohim.

Shegott
othedoct
orandwi
thl
uckt
her
ewas
noone,
shewasdi
rect
edt
othedoct
or'
sof
fi
ce.
shegoti
nandgreet
ed,
thedoct
orseemed
exci
tedt
oseeher.

Doc:"
DoctorO,whatal
ovel
ysur
pri
se.HowdoI
hel
pyoutoday?
"

Oluhleexpl
ainedhowshewasf
eel
i
ngandt
he
doctordidsomescans.

Doc:"
Damn!Howl
onghav
eyoubeenf
eel
i
ng
thi
sway?
"

Ol
uhl
e:"
Fort
hepast3day
s"

Doc:"I
'
m gonnahavetor
efery
out
othehospi
tal
,
thi
sisanemergency.
"
Hewr otearef
err
allet
terandgavetoi
ther
,tol
d
hertogostrai
ghttothehospi
tal
.Shedi
d
exactl
ythat
,shewasnowpani cki
ngand
prayi
ngallt
hewayt othehospi
tal
.

#Unedi
ted
#SJ
I
nser
t9.

*
Oluhl
e*

Dri
vingtot
hehospi t
al,Icoul
dfeel
myblood
pr
essureri
sing.I
'
v eneverbeenthi
sscar
ed,t
he
l
ookonDoct orSteenkamp'seyesmadethi
ngs
worseforme.
Iar
ri
vedandpar
kedt
hecar
,It
ookadeep
br
eat
hbef
orewal
ki
ngi
n.
Igottot
her ecepti
onandgr eet
edthelady ,
showedhert heref
err
allet
ter.I
'
m adoct or,well
soontobe,Ishouldknowt hesethi
ngs, Ishould
knowwhat'swr ongwit
hmebutI '
mint hedar k.I
sti
ll
feel
thepai nonmylowerabdomenandi t's
theonescaringmemor ethanany t
hing.

Lady:"
Pleasegostr
aight,
tur
nleftont
hat
passagethenknockatthedooronyourl
eft
"

It
hankedherandwentt
owher
eshedi
rect
ed
meto.
Iknockedandwast
oldt
ocomei
n.

Me: "
GooddayDoc,I'
m Oluhl
eKunene.Iwas
refer
redtobyDoct
orSteenkamphere.I
'm
pregnantandI
'v
ebeenexperienci
ngthi
spai
n
onmyabdominalar
ea,whenIsai
dtohi
m he
scannedmeandsai
dIneedtorushher
e
becausei
t'
sanemergency
"

Doc:"GooddayMissKunene,Steenkampisa
verygoodfr
iendofmine,hecouldn'
thav
e
tr
ansferr
edyouhereifi
twasnotanemer gency
soIsuggestyougetonthatbedsoIcanscan
youandseewhatt heemergencyis"

Iwentandl
aidont
hebed,
hesmearedthegel
onmyt ummyandmovedt
hescannerar
ound,
hefr
owned.

Me:
"Isev
ery
thi
ngokaywi
thmybaby
?"

Hel
ookedatme.
Doc:"Ican'
thearthehear
tbeat.Ineedtodoa
thor
oughscanandhear tbeatmonitorbef
oreI
comei ntoconcl
usion"

Inoddedwi
thsomuchf
ear
.

Hescannedaroundmyt ummyagai n,heal

so
usedhishandstosqueeze.Hethentookthe
hear
tbeatmoni tor
,andt
ri
edlocati
ngitbutt
he
l
ookandhi seyeswasclearenoughformeto
seethathecouldn'
tfi
ndit
.

Doc:"Thebabyisnolongeral
ive,
ther
e'sno
heartbeatandfr
om thesecondscanitseems
l
iketheumbi l
i
calcor
dstrangl
edyourbaby,I
'm
sorr
y"

Icl
osedmyey
esast
ear
sst
reameddown,
how
coul
dmybabydiejustl
i
ket
hat
?I'
vel
ear
ntt
o
l
ovehim nowhei
sdead.

Me:
"Pl
ease.
..
.dosomet
hing,
hecan'
tbedead"

Doc: "
I'
m sosor r
yMi ssK,atthispointthere'
s
real
l
ynot hingIcando, al
lIneedisf oryout o
contactyourf amilymember sandl etthem
know.Ican' tletyougohome, becauset hepain
youaref eeli
ngwi lll
atergeti
ntense.Iwi l
lneed
youtosignconsentf ormssot hatIcanadmi t
you,anemer gencycsect i
onwi l
lber equir
edso
wecanr emov ethebaby "

Ij
ustcri
ed,hegav emesomespace.It ookmy
phoneandt hefi
rstpersonIt
houghtofcal
ling
wasMaZandi ,
Idon'tknowwhybutsomet hing
aboutherremindsmeofmom sot al
ki
ngtoher
wil
lfeell
i
keI '
mt al
ki
ngt omymom.
Zandi
:"Babygi
rl
"

Thewayshesai
dit
,ital
lsoundedli
keIwas
tal
ki
ngt
omymot her.Ij
ustsobbed.

Zandi
:"Hey.
..
.Nana,
arey
ouokay
?Lul
u,t
alkt
o
mebaby "

Me:"I
..
..
mybaby .
..
mybabyisdead,he'
sdead
Ma.PleaseIneedyouguysatthehospi
tal
,
pl
ease.Theyareaboutt
oadmi tmeforan
emergencycsecti
ontohavethebabyremoved"

Sher
eleasedal
oudsi
gh.

Zandi
:"I
'
m sosor
rybaby
,I'
m onmywaywi
th
y
ourdadokay
?whi
chhospi
tal
arey
ouat
?"

Me:
"Medi
cli
nici
nSandt
on"

Zandi
:"Okaybaby
"

Ihungupandcall
edMaSne, Ialsotoldherand
shesaidshe'
ll
comeseemel ater,sheisst
il
l
deal
ingwithSi
mbongi
lebutshewi lll
etdad
knowsohecancome.

*
Simbongi
l
e*

Ther ai
nstoppedwhenIwasclosert
othis
place,i
twasSomewhereinthebushes.Iparked
thecaront hesi
de,
Ical
leduponmyancest ors
tobewi thmeandimmediatel
yIfel
tthi
scold
windaroundme, Iknewtheywer ethere.I
walkedinsi
dethebushes,Iwasbei ng
spir
it
uali
tyl
ed,Iwalkedstr
aightt ot
hisplace.I
t
l
ookedlikeanabandonedhut ,thewindows
werebrokenandi twasdarkinside.

Iopenedthedoorandt hescreamsIwas
heari
ngstart
ed,thi
sti
met heywerever
yloud.I
hel
dont omyst omachandheadbecausewi th
eachscream,Iexperi
encedthatpai
nagainand
becausethescreamswer eevenmorelouder
now,thepainwaswor se.

Regardlessofthepai
n, IknewwhatIhadt odo.
Iwaschosent ohelpthisgirlandI'
m gonnado
j
ustthat.Ical
leduponmyancest orsagai
nand
aloudlaughercamef r
om somewher einthi
s
smallroom, I
twassol oudt hatIcoul
dfeelmy
eardrumsaboutt oburst.Idon'tknowhowbut
therewassuddenl yli
ght,Ilookedatthegi r
l,She
l
ookeddr ained,shehadbl oodalloverherbody .
It
'slikeeachandev er
yhol einherbodywas
releasingblood.Idon'tknowwhybutseei ngher
l
iket hatmademesoangr y,i
tmadesosomad.
Ilookedatt hi
spersonlaughing,mymot her'
s
uncle,hel ongdiedsoIdon' tunderstand.

Him: "Everyonethinksso, t
heyal lthinkIdied
butI'
v ebeenst ayingher e.Youwer enot
supposedt obehav i
ngt hatgift,i
tbel ongedto
meandIwasmeantt opassi tovert omyson,
youar enotaMbat hat obeginwi th,thatisa
Mbat hagift.Youseet hisgirl
,I'
m goi ngt okil
l
herandwhenshedi est hatgi
f tofy ourswilldi
e
withher, i
twi l
lvanish.Shei sachosenwoman
foryou,shei ssupposedt obeary ouchi ldr
en
andoneoft hosechi ldrenwi l
lalsogett hegift
,
soIwon' tallowt hattohappen.Yourki dsjust
l
ikeyou, willbeKunenesnotMbat hassot hey
don'
tdeser
vei
t,j
ustl
i
key
oudon'
t.
..
..BI
TE!
!!
!!
"

Immedi at
elywhenhesai dbite,Isawt hesnake
Isawont hevision,itmadeitswayt ot hegi r
l.I
t
bitheronherkneesandsomet hi
ngt hathas
neverhappenedbef ore,i
thappened.Igr owled
andjumpedt ot hesnake,asthegirlwas
screaminginpai n,
Iwasal sofeel
ingt hepai n
butIdidnotallowt ostopme.Igai nedt his
powerI'veneverhadbef or
e, i
t'
sli
kesomet hi
ng
i
nmewaswokenup.
Ihel dthesnakeandhi ti
tagainstthewal l
sev eralt
imes,Ikeptonhi t
ti
ngitagainstthe
wal landeachtimeIdi d,Mymom' sunclewoul d
alsogr oaninpain,hewentdownonhi sknees,
thesnakest art
edbl eedingbutnot hi
ngst opped
mef rom hi
tt
ingagainstt hewall,t
hegi rl
'
s
screamswer emot i
vatingmet okeephi t
tingit
.I
ranoutofbr eath,myhandsf ullofblood,Ijust
threwmy sel
font hefloor,thesnakef ol
lowed,
wellremai nsofi t.Ilookedatt heuncl e,hewas
i
njuredjustliket hesnake, whichmeanshehad
tookhisspi ri
tint othesnakeorv i
cev er
sa.He
wast hesnakeort hesnakewashi m.I
remember edt hatIhav etogetthisgirloutof
here,Ipickedherupandr anoutwi thhert omy
car,I
twasabi tfarsi nceIparkeditout sidethe
bushbutev ent uall
yIar ri
vedandbyt het i
meI
gotthere,Ihadbl oodal lovermycl othesand
hands.Thebl oodt hatwasoozi ngoutofher
hadst opped, j
ustr emai nsofi tonhercl othes
andski nandt heonef rom thesnakebi tes.

Idr
ovetothehospi
tal
int
otalspeedwhi
l
eshe
wasinpai
n,att
hebackseat.

*
NARRATED*

Sf
isoar
ri
vedatt
hehospi
tal
andf
ound
Thokozani
andZandi
l
ewai
ti
ng.
HegreetedandlookedatZandil
e,somet
hing
aboutherremi
ndedhim ofOyint
ando.

Thokozani
:"Shobaf
o"

Sfi
so:
"Howl onghav
ey ouguy
sbeenher
efor
?
haveyoubeenupdated?"

Thokozani:"
We'vebeenher
eabout2hoursago,
wedi dseeherbefor
eshewenttothe
emer gencyr
oom.Wear enowwait
ingfort
he
doctortocomeupdateus."

Sfi
sonoddedandsatdown,
it'
sli
kehewas
thi
nki
ngofsomethi
ng.Hest
oodupandlooked
atThokozani
.
Sf
iso:
"Howcomenoonet
oldmeOl
uhl
ewas
pr
egnant
?"

Thokozani
:"She'
stheonewhowassupposed
totel
lyouKunene,thi
sisnott
imetobeagi r
l,
Oluhl
eneedsusandweoughtt obet her
efor
herwit
houtinvol
vi
ngemot i
ons,i
fanythi
ngshe'
s
theonewhocananswery ourquesti
on"

Sfi
so:
"Andyouwantmetotr
ustyouwit
hmy
ki
ds?Youasanel
derwassupposedt
oletme
knowDlami
ni"

Thokozani
wassl
owlyget
tingpissedof
f,he
hat
esitwhensomeonequesti
onshisparent
ing
ski
ll
s.
Hel
ookedatZandi
.

Thokozani
:"MaI
'
m gonnagooutf
orsomeai
r,
wil
lyouneedany
thi
ng?"

Zandishookherhead,
Thokozani
lef
t.He
wantedtoavoi
dSf i
so.
Aftersomet
imehecamebackandsatdownon
thebench.
Thedoct
orcame,
theyal
lgotup.

Doc:
"Ol
uhl
eKunene"

Thokozani
:"Yes.
..
Howi
sshedoc?
"

Doc:"
Thecsect
ionwentwell,
wemanagedto
removet
hefoet
usandcleanedherup.Shei
s
sti
l
loutf
ornow,
wei
nject
edherbutshewi
l
lbe
fi
ne"

Sf
iso:
"Canweseeher
?"

Doc:"Youneedtoletherrestf
ornowbutas
soonasshewakesup, y
oucangobewi t
hher.
FornowIneedsomeonewhowi ll
signt
he
paper
s, y
oumi ghtwanttoburythebabysoyou
havetosignforit
srel
ease"

Thokozani
:"Doccanwepl easewaitforOluhl
e
towakeup,shemi ghtwanttohaveitcremated"

Thedoct
ornodded.

Doc:
"Thati
sal
sonotapr
obl
em,
pleaseal
l
ow
met
oleav
efornow"

Helef
tthem t
here.Zandiwasbecoming
emoti
onalandthetensi
onbetweenthetwo
menwasget t
ingtoher.

#Unedi
ted
#SJ

Typedthi
syest
erdaybutunfor
tunat
elyther
e
wasnonetworktohaveitpost
ed,secondinser
t
comingupinafew.
Chapt
er10.

*
Simbongi
l
e*

Idr
ovet
oNet
car
e,assoonasIpar
kedt
hecar
,I
pi
ckedt hisgir
l upf
rom t
hebackseatandran
i
nsidewi t
hher .Shehasnowpassedout,she'
s
notbreathing.

Me:
"Hel
p!!
!pl
easesomebodyhel
p"

Apor t
ercamewi thast
ret
cher,Iputheronthe
stret
cherandtheguypushedheraway ,fr
om
thereIdi
dn'tknowwhattodo.Ijustpaced
aroundtherecept
ionar
ea.
Every
onewaslooki
ngatmeawkwar
dly,
no
surpr
iset
her
ebecauseIhav
ebl
oodall
over
.

Theladyatthereceptionaskedmet of
il
li
n
admissi
onf or
ms, Idon'tevenknowwhothat
gi
rli
s.Ijustputi
nt oday'sdateandmydetai
l
s.

Thedoct
orcame,
Irushedt
ohi
m bef
orehe
ev
engott
ome.

Doc:"Areyoutheper sonwhobr
oughtt
hel
ady
wit
hbl oodall
ov erherbody
?Theonewhoj
ust
gotadmi t
ted?"

Me:
"Yes.
..
YesIam,
wil
lshebeokay
?"

Doc:"Honestl
yit'
shardtot elli
fshe'l
lbefineor
notbecausewedon' tevenunder standwhat '
s
wrongwithher,al
lwecanseei sthatshelosta
l
otofblood.Ihavet oasky ouaf ewquestionon
whatreall
yhappenedwi thherbecausesheonl y
hasinj
uri
esonherl eg,whichshowst hatshe'
s
beenbitt
enbyasnakebutt hebloodthat'
sall
overherbodyisraisi
ngey ebrowsbecauseshe
hasnoinjuri
es"
Me: "Idon'
tknowwhatr eall
yhappenedbecause
whenIgotwher eshewas, shewasal r
eady
bleedingalot.Ihavereasont obeli
evethather
situati
onismor espir
it
ual andIcanf i
ndway st
o
helpherwheni tcomest othat,
Ijustneedyou
tohel pherwhereyoucan"

Doc:
"Wher
edi
dyouf
indher
?"

Me:"AtthebushbutDoct hat'
snotimportant
ri
ghtnow,ifIgetintodet
ail
youwon'tbeli
eve
mesol et'
srathersti
cktomakingsureshe'l
lbe
okay,i
ntermsofbl oodwil
lsheneedadonor ?"

Doc: "
Fort
unatelyno, shewasv er
ylucky
becausewehadbl oodt hatmatchedhertype
theref
oreI'
vealreadygi v
enblood,al
lthat'
slef
t
i
sf orherbodytor espondt ot
hemedi cati
onI
i
njectedherwith,ifshedoest henshe'
llbe
awakehopef
ull
ytoday
"

Me:
"Okayt
hanky
ousomuchDoc"

Doc:"Isuggestyougohomeandtakeashower
,
changetheclothest
hencomebacklat
er"

Me:
"I.
..
I'
l
ldot
hat
,thanky
ou"

Doc:
"Youwel
come.
..
letmegetbackt
owor
k"

Inodded,helef
t.Isatdownonthebench,
got
up,pacedaround.Eventual
l
yIgotupandl
eft
.

*
SAMKELI
SIWE*
Hegavemeadev ioussmil
e,myhear
twas
beat
ingoutofmychest.Howdi
dhef i
ndme?
DidAmandlabet
rayme?ormay beZweli
sang
l
ikeacanary
.

Me:
"W.
..
whatdoy
ouwant
?"

Hechuckl
ed,Iswal
lowedhard.Heisnott
he
Mkhusel
iIknow,heisangr
yandv er
yscar
y.

Mkhuseli
:"Won'
tyougivemeahug?Justto
showthatyouhaven'
tseenmeintenyear
sor
bett
eryetal
lowmet ocomeinsi
de?"

Me: "
Thelastti
meIcheckedyouandIarenot
fr
iends,soIdon'
tseeareasonwhyIshoul
d
gi
v eyouahugorev enal
lowyoui
ntomyhouse"
Mkhusel
i
:"Butweal
sonotenemi
esr
ight
?"

Me:
"Saywhaty
ouwantandl
eav
epl
ease"

Mkhusel
i
:"Okay,Iseeyoumeanbusi
ness.I
'
ll
al
sogetstr
aighttowhyI'
m her
e"

Hetookoutagunandl eanedagainstt
hedoor
fr
ame.Ifel
tmyselfget
tingcl
osertopeeing.The
l
ookhegav emewasenought ohavemel etgo,
Ij
ustpeedonmy sel
fbutthatdidn'
tshakehim.

Mkhusel
i
:"Wi
llyouconf
esst
owhatyoudi
d10
year
sagoorIshoul
dmakeyout
alk?
"

Me:"What
..
..
I.
..
.Mkhusel
iyounotthet
ypet
o
hur
twomen,pleasedon'
tstar
tnow"
Mkhusel i
:"Tr
ustmeIwouldstartnow,youhur
t
mybr otherandanyonewhohurtsanyofmy
familymesseswithme.Youcausedmy
brother'
skidspai
n,yout
ooktheirmotheraway
from them.Theyweresti
l
lyoung"

Me:"Theyarenot
!!
!theyarenothiskids.They
wil
lneverev
erbehiskids,t
hatbit
chdeser ved
todi
e!Sheshouldhavediedwiththatbustard
chi
ldshewascarryi
ngbut..
..
"

Idi
dn'
tevenfi
nisht
alki
ng,
hesl
appedmeso
har
dthatIf
ell
.
Hethengotinsi
dethehouse,
lockedt
hedoor
andcroucheddownnexttome.

Mkhusel
i
:"Youar
eal
sogoi
ngt
ogetwhaty
ou
deserve,angishowenauyaziukut
hiabantu
bafanelweyini?Namingyazikeukut
hiufanel
we
yi
ni"(Youknowwhatot herpeopledeser
ver i
ght
?
Ial
soknowwhaty oudeser
ve)

Me:
"Pl
ease.
..
I'
m sor
ry,
pleasedon'
thur
tme"

Mkhuseli
:"Ineedy outogetupfrom t
her e,go
packyourbags...don'
ttakeevery
thi
ng,justfew
thi
ngsyou'
llneed, wearegoingbacktoSout h
Afr
icaandI'm notgoingtorepeatmyself,ngoba
i
sbhamusami sizokhaf
ulel
akuwena( Because
mygunwi l
l spi
tony ou)

Icl
osedmyey es,Ididn'
tthinkthi
swoul d
happen,It
houghtI'
dgetawaywi t
hi t
.Islowl
y
gotupandwentt omybedr oom,Ipackedmy
bags,hewasstandingbyt hedoorlookingat
me.Ipackedmydocument sandl ookedathim.
Me:
"I'
m done"

Mkhuseli
:"Gotakeashower
,2minut
esshower
.
Dressupnicel
yandputonyourmakeup,
fix
yourhai
randsmel l
good"

Ifrowned,heshowedmehi sgunandt hatver

y
momentIr antotheshower,tookmyt wo
minuteshowerashesai dIshould,
Itooka
dressfrom myclosetanddressedup.Il
ooked
goodandsmel ledgood.Idi
dmymakeupand
wor eaweave.

Mkhusel
i
:"Good,
let
'sgetgoi
ng"

Ipushedmybagsandfol
lowedhi
m,heopened
thebootandshov
edthem i
n.
Het
hendr
oveof
f,i
twasj
ustsi
l
enti
nthecar
.

Me:
"Mkhusel
ipl
ease"

Mkhusel
i:"
Onemor ewordandIswearI'
m
gonnashootyouandleav
eyouhereforwil
d
ani
malstofeedonyou"

Andlooki
ngathi
m hecoul
dreal
lydoit
,wear
e
onthewaytotheair
por
tandri
ghtnowweare
dr
ivi
ngpastmountai
nsandfor
ests.
Isi
ghedandkeptqui
et.

*
Otsi
l
e*

Me:"Nt
logel
e,obat
langmogonna?
"(Letmego,
whatdoyouwantfr
om me)
Mindyou,Ist
ayinaruralareainBotswanaso
youcanimagineI'
m bei
ngdr aggedinthe
bushes,t
hefi
rstt
hingthatcamet omymi nd
wasrapebuttomysur pri
sethismandr agged
met i
ll
wegott owherehepar kedthecar.

Me:"Keagokopa, ntl
ogel
ehleRre"Okatsay
a
seoosebat
lang"(
I'm beggi
ngyou,letmego.
Youcantakeanythingyouwant)

Hepickedmeup, andthrewmei nsidethecar,

helookedv er
yscaryandt oopale.Itri
edwith
every
thingIhavetof i
ghtbutthi
smanwasso
st
rong.Hewasj ustquiet,notsayi
ngany thi
ng
j
ustacting.Heputat apeonmymout handit
wasn'thelpi
ngthatthewindowswer eti
nted.
Thecartookof
f,Wherei
sthi
smant aki
ngme?
Myparents?Mysibl
i
ngs?wil
ltheyev
erseeme
agai
n?
.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
.­­.
..
..
..
.
Ist
art
edscr
eami
ng,
Scr
eami
ngmyl
ungsout
.

"
Hey
..
.hey
,itwasj
ustadr
eam"

Isi
ghedinrel
i
ef,
IthoughtIwasr
eli
vi
ngwhat
happened.
I
tal
lcamebacktogetheraf
tersometi
me,I'
m no
l
ongeri
nBotswana,I
'
mi nSouthAfr
ica.I
r
ememberthatmantelli
ngme.

Me:"
KemoKae?wenaomang?
"(Wher
eam I
?
whoarey
ou?
)

Hesmi
l
ed,
hehasav
erybeaut
if
ulsmi
l
e.
Hi
m:"Youarei
nHospital
,Mynameis
Si
mbongi
leandyournamebeaut
if
ull
ady
?"

Me:"
KennaOtsi
l
e,kefi
tl
hil
ejangmo?
"(I
'
m
Ot
sil
e,Howdi
dIgether
e?)

Simbongi l
e:"Idon'tknowt hestoryofhowyou
gother eall
thewayf rom BotswanabutwhatI
doknowi sthatyouwer eabduct ed,by
...
bymy
mot her'
suncle.Ithenhadav isi
onofy ou
getti
ngt or
tured,screamingandIknewIhadt o
helpy ou"

Me:"Keeng?Omopor of
eta?Emaf el
ahoo,or
aa
j
angf aor
eIwaskidnappedbyy ourmom's
uncl
e?"(What
?areyouapr ophet?Wai
tri
ght
ther
e,whatdoyoumean? )
Simbongi
l
e: "
I'
mjusthappythaty
ouar
eokay
,
canIexpl
ainever
ythi
nglat
er?"

Ilookedathim,heseemedtohavezonedout
.I
sighed,mykneesaresopainf
ulandmybody,I
t
feelsli
kepeopl
ewereplayi
ngatugofwarand
i
nst eadofusi
ngaropetheywereusi
ngmy
body .

*
NARRATED*

AtCanadaai rpor
tMkhusel i
offl
oaded
Samkelisiwe'
sluggagefrom thecar,
wi t
hout
Samkepay i
ngattent
ionheshov edafewbags
ofcocaineinoneofherl uggage.I
n30mi nut
es
ti
met heirfl
i
ghtwasl eav
ing,Mkhuselibooked
seat
st hatarefarapartf
rom eachother.
Theyboar
dedandsoont
hef
li
ghtl
eft
.
.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
AtORTamboint
ernati
onalair
por
t,t
heyar
ri
ved
af
teral
ongf
li
ghtfrom Canada.
Mkhuseli
call
edaf ri
endofhi
sworki
ngatt
he
boardi
ngsecurit
y,t
heydeci
dedt
oconducta
stopandsearch.

Ever
yoneopenedthei
rluggagesandwere
sear
ched,Samkeopenedherluggageand
i
mmedi at
elybagsofcocai
nepeepedthrough,
shepoppedhereyesinshock.

Bor
dersecur
it
y:"
Ma'
am pl
easest
epasi
de"

Samke:
"No...
not
hosethi
ngsar
enotmi
ne,
pl
easeI
'm bei
ngf
ramed"
BS:
"Pl
easedon'
twast
eourt
ime,
stepasi
de"

Samke:
"Mkhusel
itel
lthem,
theyar
enotmi
ne,
Pl.
..
"

Asshetur
nedl
ooki
ngf
orMkhusel
i
,hewas
gone.
Pol
i
cecame.

Poli
ceman1: "Youareunderar r
estfort
he
possessionofil
legaldrugs,
fakepassportand
changingyouridenti
ty"

Samkegotpuzzl
ed,shenev
erchangedher
i
dent
it
y,shedi
dn'tuseanyf
akepasspor
t.
Samke:
"I'
m bei
ngframed,
I.
..
letmego!
!!Idon'
t
knowal
ltheset
hings"

Policeman2: "
Youhav etheri
ghttoremai
n
sil
ent ,
every
thi
ngy ousaywill
beusedagainst
youi nthecourtoflaw.Youhavetheri
ghtt
oan
attorney,
ifyoudon'thaveonethestat
ewil
l
prov i
deyouwithone"

Theytookheraway,meanwhileMkhusel
iwas
watchi
ngallt
hisunfoldf
rom adi
stanceandi
n
hi
smi ndhethought"THI
SISJUSTTHE
BEGINNING"

Hetookhisphoneandcal
ledhi
sladyfr
iend
who'
sinprison,
hemadesurethatSamkegets
t
akentothesamej ai
lcel
lasher.
MamaJ:
"AwuBr
ayam"

Mkhuseli:
"ThegiftIpr
omisedyouisont
heway
,
pleasemakesur eyoudoevery
thi
ngtoher,
satisf
yyoursel
f"

MamaJ:
"Ahhhr
elax,
youknowme.Idel
i
ver
"

Mkhusel
i
:"Sho"

Hehungupandl
eft
.

#Unedi
ted
#SJ

Ompabal
etsePhandoGal
eboeandShar
on
Metl
hal
eng,
Thankyousomuchf
orhel
pingme
outwi
thSet
swana

ToI
thabel
engRamokat
ethanky
ouf
ort
oppi
ng
meupwi t
hai
rt
ime

I
nser
t11.

*
SIMBONGI
LE*

I
'venev erbeensodr awnt oapersonli
keIam
withthatgirl,
thewayshespeaksTswana, her
bi
gey es, herbrownskin,herbi
rthmarkbelow
herlefteyebr ow.Sheissoperfect,
Iexpected
hertobemadandal lbutsheiscalm.
Il
ookedatherl
ooki
ngatme,
it'
sli
keshewas
expecti
ngmet osaysomet
hingaf
tert
hecal
l
I'
vejustr
ecei
ved.

Ot
sil
e:"Atsohl
ediaper
etshi
amo?
"(I
s
ev
eryt
hingokay?)

Me:"I
'
m sor
rybutIcan'theardeepTswana,
I
onl
yknowfewandv erygeneralwor
ds"

Shegi
ggl
ed.

Otsi
le:"
Ohkemaswabi ,Imeanisev
ery
thi
ng
okay?afterthatcall
youhad, y
ouseem
di
sturbed"(OhI '
m sorr
y)

Me: "
Thatwasmydadcalli
ng,
apparentl
ymy
si
sterisi
nhospi
tal
.Shehadamiscarri
age"
Otsi
l
e: "
OhhleSim..
.Si
m..
.KanauSim Mang?He
ehhle,youhavetogobewithyoursi
ster
"(You
ar
eSi m whatagai
n?)

Me:"Mysi st
eri
swit
hf amil
ymembers,What
aboutyou?Mysist
erwoul dhav
elov
edf orme
tosupportyouaswel
l.I'
l
lgoseeherlat
er"

Otsi
le:"Bat
hongSi
m, pl
easegobewit
hyour
si
ster.Kanawagohloka,
nnaket
lasi
ama"(She
needsy ou,
I'
ll
befi
ne)

Isighedandheldherhand.Ifel
tthisforei
gn
feeli
ng,If
eltl
i
keI'
m beingelect
rocuted.Shefel
t
i
tt oo,j
udgi
ngbythelookinherey es,t
he
suddendiscomfort
.
Me:"I
'l
lcomebackt
oseey
oul
ater
,whatshoul
d
Ibr
ingforyou?
"

Ot
sil
e:"
Any
thi
ngr
eal
l
y"

Iki
ssedherhandandleft
,shemusthavebeen
shockedbymygestureaswell
becausetr
ust
meI '
m shockedmysel
f.

Me:
"Seey
oul
ater
"

Il
eftj
ustl
ikethatandallt
hewaytoMediCli
nic
Iwasthi
nkingofher,whenshesay
sSim and
notknowi
ngwhatt osaynext.

*
OLUHLE*
Ifeel sodisconnect edfrom my self
, Ifeelli
ke
I'
mt ooyoungt obegoi ngthrought hiswhol e
mi scarri
agesi tuat
ionbutt henagai nI
remembert hisisl
ifenotmov iesandi nr eallif
e
youar enev ertooyoungt ogot hrought hings.
Myf amilyhasbeenher e,t
hepi typar t
yandt he
const antfightsbetweenmyf athersmakesme
sickIdon' twannal ie.Myf atherhasbeen
askingwhynoonet oldhim aboutt he
pregnancyandr i
ghtnowhe' sget ti
ngt omyl ast
ner vebecausehemakesi tlookl i
kei t
'sdad's
fault.

Me:"Babaplease!pl
easestop,Daddi dn'tdo
anyt
hing.I
'mtheonewhoaskedpeopl ewho
knewtonotsayany t
hingunti
lIfeelready ,I
t
wasmydeci si
ont omakenottheirs.Ijustlost
mychildandallyoucanthi
nkofi swhyy ou
werenottol
daboutthepregnancy ?please
baba"
Hesi
ghedandscr
atchedhi
sfacei
nfr
ust
rat
ion.

Fat
her
:"Fi
ne!
!fi
neOl
uhl
e"

Dad:
"Ohsonher
eyouar
e"

ThatwasSimbongi
lewal
kingin,hejustcame
str
aighttomeandgavemeat ightsqueeze,
I
couldn'
thol
dthet
earsi
n.Icr
iedandhehel dme
l
ikethat.

Simbongi
l
e:"
I'
m sor
ry,
I'
m sosor
rySi
si,
shhhI
'
m
herenow"

Me:
"Mybabydi
edSi
mbo,
mybabyi
sdead"
Simbongile:"
Ithadtohappen, i
thadtohappen
mnt ase,youmightnotunderstandnowbut
whenIl ookatthefutur
e,itcouldhavebeen
hard,li
fewasgonnabehav ebeenhar df
oryou.
Zwel i
'
sbabyhadt odieSisi,I
'
m sorry
"

Iwasevendreadingt
oaskhim whyhesaysit
hadtohappen,Iknowtheanswert
othatwil
lbe
ancest
orswanteditt
hatway.

Me: "
Wel ostmom Simbongil
e,whatcoul
d
possiblybehardert
hanthat
?Ihonestl
ythi
nkI
shouldalsodiebecausei
t'
sli
kewear edest
ined
forpain"

Simbongi
le:"
No..
..Nopl
easedon'
tsaythat,
don'
tsaythatSi
si.Al
lwil
lbewell
,you'
l
leven
for
getthi
severhappened"
Irol
l
edmyeyes,
whowoul
dfor
gett
hatt
heyl
ost
thei
rbaby
.

MaZandi l
ookedatme,sheremi ndsmeso
muchofmom.Sheal sohast hatverysame
energymom had,i
t'
sli
ketheyaret hesame
personj
ustdi
ffer
entphenot
ype.

Zandi
:"Ithi
nkI'
m gonnagori
ghtnow,butI
'l
lbe
backprobablyl
ateri
fnott
omorrowtocheckon
youokay?"

Inodded.

Me:"
Thanky
ouf
orcomingwit
hdad,i
tmeansa
l
ott
omeandIknowitmeansalotmor
etohi
m"
Shesmi
l
ed.

Zandi
:"Don'
tment
ionmyangel
"

Dad:"Letmedri
veZandihome,I'
l
lbebackinan
hourorso.Whenarevi
sit
inghoursagai
n?
Anywaywhatshoul
dIbringbaby?"

Me:"
Justbr
ingapizzafr
om Panar
ott
is,
I'
m
t
ir
edofDebonai
rshai"

Dad:
"Okayl
et'
sgetgoi
ng"

Theyl
eft
,int
hewarditwasj
ustme,Si
mbongi
l
e
whoseemedsodist
ant,mydadandMa
Snet
hemba.Thi
swomanhasbeenourpil
l
arof
str
ength,
shepul
ledachai
randsatnextt
omy
bed.Shehel
dmyhandandkisseditt
hen
l
ookedatmei nt
heeyes.

Sne: "
Myl ove, whatSi mbongi l
emeanti sthatin
thelongr unthechi l
dwasgoi ngtoneedhi s
culture,whowasgoi ngt ohelpyou?Hewas
Zwel i
'schil
dandasy ouknowt here'
sbadbl ood
betweent hef ami l
ies, y
ourmot her'
sancestor s
woul dhav enegl ectedt hebabyandhewas
goingt osuffer.Zwel i'
ssisterki
ll
edy ourmot her
thereforethebl oodr unningthroughy ourchi
ld's
veinsi sofanenemy "

Iwasintears,butIki
ndofunderst
ood.Yesa
par
tofmewasnothappyt hatIwasgoingt o
havethi
schildbutIhadgott
enusedtot heidea
ofbei
ngpr egnantandIwasslowlyl
earningto
l
ovethischil
d.Ont heot
herhandwhent hey
explainitl
ikethis,Idon'tt
hinkIwoul dhave
l
ovedt oseemychi ldsuff
ering,I'
veseenthe
Mbat haancest orsmaki ngpeopl esuff
erandit
's
notnice.Allthat'
sl eftnowisf ormetogetused
tothei deaofnotbei ngpregnantany more.

Shewipedof
fmyt
ear
sandhel
dmyhands
agai
n.

Sne:"
Ther
e'l
lbel
ightatt
heendoft
het
unnel
,al
l
wil
lbewel
lokay?
"

Inodded.

Sne:
"Tomorr
owwhent
heyr
eleasey
ou,
Ihav
e
tocl
eansey
ou"
Me:
"Thanky
ou"

Sne:
"Ohnobabydon'
tthankme"

Me:"NoMa, t
hankyouforeverythi
ngyou'
ve
doneandconti
nuetodof orus.Iknowitmust
havebeenhardbutyoul
ov edusany way,
al
waysbeensupporti
ve,Thanky ou"

Sne:
"Youguy
saremybabi
es,ev
eryt
hingI
woul
ddoforthet
winsI
'
ddoforyoutoo"

Aren'
twethel
ucki
estthough?Imeanwel ost
ourmom butwesti
ll
receiv
elovethatcomes
uncondi
ti
onal
l
y.Wehav e3parent
s,wellfour
whenAddingMaZandi t
otheequationandt hey
l
ov eus.
Wesatther
ehadagoodconv ersat
ionandfora
momentIforgotwhyI
'
m her
e, Simbongi
lekept
ondr
if
ti
ngoff .

Sne:
"Gobewi
thhermyboy
"

If
rowned.

Me:
"Her
?whoi
sthat
?"

Si
mbongi
l
e:"
She'
s.
..
Hai
isi
si,
noonehawu"

Asmil
edf
ormedonhisl
ipsandIknewri
ght
t
her
eandthent
hatt
hisguyi
sinlove.

Me: "
Gobewithhermynigga,
gomakey
our
si
sterpr
oud.ButIhav
etoknowher
"
Hel
aughedandst
oodup.

Si
mbongi
l
e:"
Arey
ousur
eyou'
l
lbef
inei
fI
l
eave?
"

Me:
"Gobewi
tht
hatgi
rlmanwenaei
sh"

Hecameandki
ssedmyfor
eheadt
henl
eft
,I
l
ookedatMaSne,
shesmil
ed.

*
SAMKELI
SIWE*

Igotlockedupinaj ai
lcell
withav er
yscary
woman, Icoul
dn'tlookatherstr
aightint
he
eyes,Ikeptonsteali
ngglancesatherandfor
thelastti
meIlookedatherandf oundher
l
ooki
ngatme.

Her
:"Zi
shaphi
?"(
What
'sup)

Ikeptqui
et.

Her
:"Yeycheesegi
rl
,whydoy
oukeepon
l
ooki
ngatme? "

Me:
"I'
m sor
ry"
.

Her
:"Wozal
a"(
Comeher
e)

If
rownedwhi
l
elooki
ngather
.

Her
:"Hai
imanCheesegi
rlngy
ak'
bi
zaory
ini
uf
unemi
na,ngi
zel
apho?
"(I
'm cal
l
ingyouor
what
?Doyouwantmetocomeov ert
here?
).

Igotupandsl
owlywentt
oher
,shet
appedher
bedformetosi
t.

Me:
"I'
mfi
nest
andi
ng"

Her:"
Haii
iman!!
!Hai
imanCheesegi
rl
,fok!
!!I
sai
dsitdown,y
ougonnamakemeangr y"
.

Sheshout
ed,
Isatdownqui
ckl
y.

Her
:"Good!nowt
ell
mewhyar
eyouher
e?"

It
oldherev
ery
thi
ng,
not
hingbutt
het
rut
h.
Her
:"Youkil
l
edanotherwomanforaman,
maybeIshouldal
sokil
lyouf
ormoney"

Me:
"It
..
.I
..
.pl
..
..
."

Her:
"IhaveagameI '
dliketoplaywithYou.It
's
averysimpleyeti
nteresti
nggame.I '
m gonnali
e
downont hi
sbed, y
ouhav etomakesur eyou
pl
easureme, Iwantyout ogivemeal lt
he
pl
easureintheworld.Don'tforgett
otakecare
ofmycookiewi t
hy ourtongue, y
oudon'tst
op
unt
ilIsayso"

Il
ookedather
,notbeli
evi
ngwhatIj
usthear
d.
Shewantsmetomuf fher
?shemustbehighon
drugs.
Me:
"Ar
eyoucr
azy
?"

Shgavemeav er
yscarylook,
Iknewnott
o
questi
onheranyfur
ther.Shel
ayeddown
l
ookingup,Ihadtodoallthework.
Godpleasehel
pme, i
fthi
sismypuni
shment
foral
lthatI
'
vedone,
I'
m sorr
y.

#Unedi
ted
#SJ
I
nser
t15wi
l
lbet
hel
asti
nser
t.
Thepressureofstudy
ingi
sonbaf
ethu,Ihave
fi
nal
examsst art
ingnextmont
h t hat
'sli
kein
2weeksf r
om now.

ButIwon'
tl
eaveyouhangi
ng,AsItol
dyouI'
m
gonnabesel
li
ngastor
yinaform ofPDF.I
t'
ll
be
compl
etei
naweekorso.
Thosewhowanti
t,i
t'
l
lbecost
ingR50soy
ou
caninboxme
I
nser
t12.

*
SAMKELI
SIWE*

It
'stwoweekssi nceI '
vebeeni naj ai
l cell,It
ri
ed
allIcouldtogetoutbutseemsl ikethewor l
d
hast urnedagainstme.Ihav eturnedi ntoawi f
e
tothisbullyhere,Ican'tlookingatherandnot
getquest i
onedf orit,shef orcesmet osuckher
p***yandpl easureher ,i
fIdon' tIgetbeat enup
forit.Ihaveblueey es,bruisesandscr atchesall
overmybody .It'
snowmor ethanev erwher eI
regretkil
li
ngOy intando,Ir eall
yshoul dn'thav e
becauseI '
m nowpay ingf oritpainfull
y .Ibet
evenOy ii
senjoyingwher eshei s,Iwoul ddo
any t
hingfordeat htov i
sitme.
"
Samkel
i
siwe"

Igotupqui
ckl
y,i
twast
hewar
dencal
l
ingmy
name.

Me:
"Ye.
..
.y
es"

Hi
m:"
Youar
eleav
ing"

Iopenedmyey eswi
de,
Ican'
tbel
i
evewhatI
'
m
heari
ngri
ghtnow.

Me:
"Whatdoy
oumeanI
'
mleav
ing?
"

Hegav
emeadeadl
ylook.
Hi
m:"
Imeanj
ustt
hat
"

Me:
"Ofcour
se,
yesummh.
..
I'
mleav
ing"

Heopenedthebur
glarbar
sorwhat
evert
hisi
s
cal
l
ed,Il
ookedatt
hiswomanonemor et
ime.

Me: "
Fuckyou!!
!Ihopeonedayyoumeet
someonewhowi l
ldothesameandworseto
you.Iwishyoucouldroti
nher
eandneverbe
rel
eased"

Shegi
ggl
ed,
notl
ooki
ngatme.

Her:"
Onl
yify
ouknew,you'
l
lwishyouwere
l
icki
ngmyanusi
nsteadofbei
ngrel
easedbut
goodl
uck"

Il
ookedatherconfused,whatdoesshemean?
ButIdon'
tcare,
she'sprobabl
ybit
terbecause
shewon'tbehavi
ngsomeonet ouse.

Me:
"What
ever
!By
e"

Iwalkedout,
youknowt hatv
ict
orywal
k.I
thoughtmypeoplefor
gotaboutmebuthereI
am, f
ree.Whothehell
doesMkhuselit
hinkhei
s?

Theygavemer eleasepapers,Isignedandtook
al
lmybel ongi
ngst hatt
heyhadt aken,I
swit
chedmyphoneonandst eppedout si
deand
gottofeelwhatmostpeopl ewhower e
i
mpr i
sonedfeelwhent heygetreleased.
"Cometotheredcar
,wehavet
ogoqui
ckl
y
befor
etheycomeforyou"

Ir
eadthesmscomingthroughmyphoneand
l
ookedatther
edcar,
withouthesi
tat
ionIr
ant
o
i
t.

*
OTSI
LE*

Igotdischargedatt hehospitalthreeday sago,I

am atthehot elthatwasbookedf ormebySi m,
he'
sbeenv erygoodt omeandIhav en'tgotten
achancet ot hankhi mforhisgener osit
y .Imiss
home, mom mustbegoi ngcrazy,Idon'tev en
knowhowI 'l
lgett oBotswanabecauseIhav e
nomoney ,
notev enacenttobuymy selfalousy
chewinggum.Iam j uststandingbyt hebal cony,
l
ookingatt hebeaut if
ulviewoftheci tyand
ref
lect
ingonmyl if
e.
Ithi
nkI'
minlov
ewithSim andIhonestl
ydon't
knowifi
t'
sagoodthingornot,
won'titseem
l
ikeI'
mtaki
ngadvant
ageofhisgoodhear t?
AsIwasstandi
ngther
e,aknockcamethr
ough.
Iwentt
oopenandhehadabunchoff l
owers
andabrownpaperbag.

Me:
"Hi
"

Si
m:"
HeyOt
sil
e,howar
eyouf
eel
i
ngt
oday
?"

Me:
"Al
otbet
tert
hanky
ou"

Henoddedandsatdown.

Si
m:"
Ibr
oughtl
unchandt
hesear
efory
ou"
Hehandedmet heflowershehadonhishand,
thi
sisall
newtomeandi t'
sli
keI'
minthe
mov i
es.I
'
m arural
girlandthi
ngsli
ket
hisnever
happentous,
beinggivenflower
sandgif
ts.

Me:
"Keal
ebogahl
e,t
heysobeaut
if
ul"

Iputt
hem ont
het
abl
eandsatdownnextt
o
hi
m.
Het
ookoutthefoodf
rom t
hepaperandputi
t
ont
opofthebed.

Si
m:"
Let
'seat
"

Westar
tedeat
ingwhi
l
econv
ersi
ngher
eand
t
her
e.
Si
m:"
What
'sony
ourmi
nd?
"

Me:"
OhwellI
'mjustt
hinki
ngofhowI'
m gonna
gobackhome.Myfamilymustbev
eryworri
ed"

Hewentqui
et,
wecont
inuedeat
ingandIcoul
d
f
eelhi
mlooki
ngatme.
HetookmyhandandIf
eltashockofsome
sor
t.

Si
m:"
Whati
fIdon'
twanty
out
oleav
e?"

Me:
"Or
ayang?
"(Whatdoy
oumean?
)

Iwashonest
lysur
pri
sedandconf
used.
Si
m: "
Whati
fIdon'
twanty
out
ogobackt
o
Bot
swana?"

Me:"
ButIhav
efamil
y,t
heyar
edef
ini
tel
y
wor
ri
edaboutme"

Si
m: "IknowthatOt
sil
ebutIl
ovey
ou,Ir
eal
lydo
l
ovey ou.YoucanmarrymeandmovetoSouth
Afr
icapermanentl
y"

Iopenedmyey
eswi
dei
nshock.

Me:
"Kegony
ale?Imean.
..
we.
..
wow!
!I.
..
"

Sim:"Iknowit
'sshocki
ngbutI
'm aspi
rit
ual
personOtsi
leandmyancestor
shav ealr
eady
shownmemyf ut
urewi
thyousoIdon'tfeel
the
needt owasteti
me.IloveyouandIknowy ou
feelthesamewaytoo, wecandotherightthi
ng,
I
'llsendmyunclesovertoyourf
amilyandask
fory ourhandi
nmarri
age"

Ijustkeptqui
et,
Ididn'
tknowwhattosay,
wellI
doknowIl ovehim butIt
hinkhe'
smovi
ngtoo
fast.

*
NARRATED*

I
ntherur
alareaofZi
mbabwe,ayoungboyran
t
othehuttotel
lhi
smommyt hatsomeone'
s
l
ooki
ngforher.

Boy
:"Mom t
her
e'samanl
ooki
ngf
ory
ou"
Hi
smom al
readyknewwhoiti
s,shehasbeen
wai
ti
ngf
ort
hismanf oral
ongti
me.

Her
:"Tel
lhi
mtocomei
n,y
oucangopl
ay"

Theboynoddedandr
anoutofhi
smother
'shut
.
Heinf
ormedthemantocomeinandwentto
pl
ay.

I
nt hehut,t
hemansatdownont hefloor
,this
mani sfear
edinthewholevi
ll
ageandhef ears
noonebutt hewomanhesi t
ti
ngi nfr
ontofis
theonlypersonhefear
sandrespectsomuch.
Hesatdownont hefl
oorandlookedather.

Woman:
"I'
vebeenwai
ti
ngf
ory
ou"
Man:"Iknowandit'
sti
me,wehav
edoneall
that
weneededt odoandnowwehavetoper
for
ma
r
it
ualbeforeweletyougo"

Woman: "
Okay,t
hankyousomuchforal
lthat
you'v
edoneforme.Howsooncanwedot he
ceremony
?"

Man:
"Toni
ghtatt
her
iver
"

Thewomanagr eedandassoonast hemanleft

,
shestar
tedpr
eparingever
ythi
ng.Shecoul
dn'
t
waitt
ogetthi
sov eranddonewith.

#Unedi
ted
#SJ
I
'm nowbackf
orr
eal
,I
'm sor
ryonceagai
nbutI
hadprobl
ems.
I
nser
t13comi
ngup.
..
..
I
nser
t13.

*
SAMKELI
SIWE*

AssoonasIgott ot hecar,
t heti
ntedwindows
opened,Ii
mmedi atelywantedtorunbutitwas
toolat
ebecauset heguyint hecargotoutand
pull
edmeback, threwmei nsidethecar.Idon'
t
knowwhot heset womenar eandIhaveabad
feel
ingaboutt
his.

Me:
"Whatdoy
ouwantf
rom me?
"

Guy1:
"Youshoul
dbegr
atef
ult
haty
ouar
eout
ofj
ailsoear
ly,
nobodyget
st ohav
ethatkindof
l
uck,sostopaski
ngquest
ionsandthankus"

Me: "
Yahbutwhoar eyouandwhydi dy
ou
releasemef r
om jai
l?Youdon'tknowmeso
sur el
yyoucan'tj
ustrandomlypicksomeone
from ajai
lcel
landr el
easethem fornoreason"

Guy2theonewhoisdr
ivi
ngst
oppedt
hecar
andt
urnedtol
ookatmen.

Him:"Fuckwoman! !
!!Shutt
hefuckup,y
ouare
outofjai
l andt
hat'
sallyouneedtoknowso
stopaskingami l
l
ionquesti
ons"

Yooohhisfaceissoscary
,hehasthi
sdark
aur
a,whenhet alksy
oucan'thel
pbutl
ist
en,I
j
ustkeptquiet
.Anhourlat
erwegottothi
svery
beaut i
fulsubur
bthatIassumeisSandhurstand
thecarst oppedatthi
sbighousewit
hmany
trees,thegateopenedandthecarwentin.I'
ve
nev erbeensoscaredformylif
eli
kethis.

Guy1:
"Getoutoft
hecar
"

Me:
"Wher
ear
ewe?Whyar
eweher
e?"

Dri
ver:
"Wherewoul
dyour
atherbe?Gett
hehel
l
outofthecar
"

Ijumpedout ,Ilookedaround.Thisplacei
sso
beauti
fulnol i
esbutI '
m nothappyaboutbeing
herebecauseIgett hefeeli
ngthesepeople
didn'
tjustsavemef orfun,ther
ehast obea
reasonandi twon'tbeni ce.
Thi
sscar ypul
l
edmebymyhandt othe
di
recti
onofthehouseandassoonast hedoor
opened..
..
OhmyGod!!!No!NotMkhuseli
again.

Mkhusel
i:"
Ahlooksl
i
ket
aki
ngherwaseasi
er
t
hanIthought
"

Theysmi
ledandtookthemoneyt
hatwason
thet
abl
e,theyt
henlef
t.

Mkhusel
i
:"Baf
o"

Andincame...
Godthel
ookonhi
sface,i
twas
ful
lofhatr
ed.I
t'
sli
kehewant
edtoki
llme,
Thokozani
.

Me:
"Tho.
..Thokozani
,I
'm sor
ry,
I'
m sosor
ry.I
knowImessedupandbr
okey
ourf
ami
l
ybutI
'
m
sorr
y"

Helookedatmeanddi
dn'
tsayany
thi
ng,
hej
ust
satdown.

Mkhusel
i
:"LetmegogetsomebeerBaf
o,I
'
m
sur
eyou'
vegotthi
s"

Thokozani
:"Shof
oza"

Mkhuseli
lef
tmewi t
hThokozani
whol
ooked
l
ikevenomoussnake.

Thokozani
:"Youki
ll
edtheonl
ywomanI'
v eever
l
oved,themotherofmykids,
shewaspregnant
wit
hmychi l
dandy oudeci
dedtopl
ayGodand
ki
l
ledher
"

10y ear
slaterThokozaniissti
ll
verymuch
broken,att
hement i
onofhis"wife"Iki
l
ledhe
becomessoemot ionalandteary.

Me:
"I'
m..
."

Thokozani
:"Shutup!
!!
"

Me:"Thokozani
I'
m al
sot hemotherofyour
chi
l
d, Amandlai
saspitt
ingimageofy ouand.
..
"

Hest
oodupandhel
dmyhandt
ight
.

Me:
"Ouchhh"
Thokozani:"Don'tuseAmandl
atocalm me
down, i
twill
nev erwork.Youareevi
landIwi
ll
showy ouwhatI 'm madeof
,youwill
knowme,
seeforwhaty oudi dtomyOyint
ando,y
ouwil
l
paynicely
"

Haditbeenadif
fer
entdayIwouldn'
tbel
iev
e
hi
m whenhesaidI'
llpaybutnowIbel
iev
ehim,
I
'm def
ini
tel
ygoi
ngtopay .

Mkhusel
icamebackwi t
hasmal l
plast
icdish
andabott
lethatl
ookedli
kesul
furi
cacid.
Hehandedt
hem t
oThokozani
.

Thokozani
:"I
'
m goingtodothisev er
ydayunti
l
youbegfordeathtotakeyou,I'
m goingtobur
n
yourski
nwiththi
sacideveryday,nottoomuch
j
ustbi
tbybi
tunt
ilal
lyourbodyi
sbur
ntand
r
ott
en"

Me:
"Thokozani
no!
!Nopleaseyoucan'
tdot
hat
t
ome,whataboutourdaught
er?
"

Hesl
appedmesohar
dthatIf
ell
.

Thokozani
:"I
'
vemanagedtoraisetheki
dsof
thewomany ouki
l
led10yearsago, sot
rustme
Amandlawill
befi
ne,shedoesn'tneedyou"

May
bethatrapi
stofawomanwasright
,bei
ng
i
najai
lcel
lwasmuchbett
erthant
his.

Hepull
edmebymyl egandputi
nsi
det
hat
pl
ast
icdish,
hepour
edtheaci
donmyfootandI
screamedsomucht
hatIf
eltmyscr
eams
deafeni
ngmeaswel
l.

*
SIMBONGI
LE*

Idon'tknowwhat '
shappeni ng,Ican'tseem to
beconnect i
ngt omymom.Iam hav ingwei r
d
dreams, Idecidedtogetupf r
om bedandwent
tomyconsul t
ingroom.Il i
tthecandl esand
askedf orli
ghtfrom myancest ors,Iaskedt hem
toshowmewhat '
shappeningbutIcoul dn'
tsee
anything.Thisissof r
ustrat
ing,Idecidedt ogo
backt obedandcal l
Ot si
l
ebutwon' tIbewaki ng
herupatt histimeoft henight?

Otsi
l
e:"
Sim hel
l
o.Atsohl
edi
aper
etshi
amo?
"
(
Isever
ythi
ngokay
?)
DamnIdi
all
edher,Iwantedt
ojusthangupbut
i
twil
ll
ookl
ikeI
'm crazy
.

Me:
"HeyI
'
m sor
ryi
fIwokeupup"

Ot
sil
e:"
OhnoIwasn'
tsl
eepi
ng,
arey
ouokay
?"

Me:"I
..
.YeahI
'
mfi
ne,
justwant
edt
osay
goodni
ght"

Otsi
l
e:"BathongSi
m, y
oudidcallear
li
eronto
saygoodnightr
emember?Forrealareyouokay
?
Youdon'tsoundokaytome"

Me:"I
...
canIcomespendthenightwit
hyou?I
promi
seIwon' tdoany
thi
ngyoudon'twantme
todo,Ij
ustwannaholdyouti
ght"
Si
lenceandIimmedi
atel
yregr
ett
edaski
ngwhat
Ij
ustasked.

Me:"I
'm sor
ry.
..
Ijust
,goodni
ghtOt
sil
e,Il
ove
you"

Ot
sil
e:"
Youcancome"

Me:
"Sl
eept
ightI
..
."

Ot
sil
e:"
Isai
dyoucancome"

WowI .
..
Iquickl
ytookmytrouserandputi
ton,
wit
hmyphonest i
ll
bal
ancedinbetweenmyear
andshoulder.
Me:
"OkayI
'
llcal
lyouwhenI
'
vear
ri
ved"

Shegi
ggl
edandhungup.If
ini
shedup,
tipt
oed
tot
hegar
ageanddrov
eout.
Arri
vi
ngatt
hehotel
,Ical
ledherandt
oldherI'
m
outsi
de,
sheopenedthedoorandshelookedso
sexyint
hepyj
amas.

Me:
"Dumel
a"(
Hel
l
o)

Shegiggl
ed,
sheal
way
slaughswhenIt
ry
speaki
ngTswana.

Ot
sil
e:"
Hel
l
o,comei
n"

Iwalkedinandwestoodther
einawkwar
d
si
lence,notknowi
ngwhattodonext
.
Me:
"Wecansl
eep"

Shesmil
edandnodded.It
ookof
fmypant
sand
remai
nedinmyboxershor
ts.

Wegotinsi
dethecovers,Icoul
dseeshewasa
bi
tuncomfort
abl
e,Ibroughthercl
osert
ome.I
ki
ssedherfor
ehead.

Me:
"Goodni
ght
"

Ot
sil
e:"
Goodni
ght
"

Shecl
osedhereyes,Ij
ustl
ookedather,
admir
edherbeautyandIgotanerect
ion,
my
d**
kpokedher,shegotshocked.
Me:
"I'
m sor
ry"

Shenodded,Ibroughtherfacecl
osert
omine
andkissedher
,shedidn'tr
efuse,
wekissed
passi
onatel
y.

Me:"
Stopmewhenyoufeel
li
keI
'
m doi
ng
somet
hingy
oudon'
twantmetodo"

ShenoddedandIki ssedheragain,t
histi
meit
becamev eryheatedasIcaressedherboobs,
squeezedthem andpulledherlegovermine.
Wewer ebot hbreat
hingfast
er.

#Remov
ed
*
NARRATED*

I
t'
s00:
00midni
ghtandthewoman,chi
ldand
t
hemanareatt
herivert
operf
orm ari
tual
.

Woman:
"Whatdowedof
ir
st?
"

Man: "
Wearegoingtostartbylett
ingthe
ancestor
sknowthatyouar edonewi thall
that
youneededtodo,wewillthenaskt hem to
prot
ectyouandyoursonandal lowy outogo
backtoyourl
if
e.Youhav etoaskt hem tolead
youandguideyou,t
osety oufreeandl i
ghtup
yourway"

Thewomannodded.
Woman:
"Sowhataboutmyson?
"

Man:"Heispr
otected,al
lwehavetodois
cl
eanseyouhereinsidet
heri
vertheny
ouare
fr
eetogo."

Theyper for
mi ngtheri
tual,
theycutthewoman
alit
tlebitandmi xedherbloodwithmuti,
they
usedt hemi xt
ureonhercutandt heydidthe
samet ohersonwhoi sv er
ystrong,
hedidn'tcr
y
atallwhenhewasbei ngcutwi t
hasharpr azor
blade.
Whenal lthatwasdone,theyl
ituptheincense
andst ar
tedtal
kingtotheancestor
s,t
hey
thankedthem forgui
dingthem thr
oughoutthe
j
our ney.

Woman:
"Ngy
abongaboGogonaboMkhul
u,
ningivikel
e,nav i
kelanendodanay ami ,ngili
cedil
e
uhamboebeni funangi l
ihambe, ngikwenzi le
konkeebeni kufunaki mi,kodwamanj e
sekumel engibuy el
eempi l
weni yami ,ngyazi
i
yobanzi mai ndlelaengizoy i
hambakodwa
ngicelani y
ihambenami ,ngivumel eni ngy ophila
i
mpi loy ami"(Mygr eatancest ors, youpr otected
meandmyson.Ihav efini
shedt hej ourneyy ou
want edmet otake, Ididev erythingy ouwant ed
met odobutnowi t'
st i
meIgobackt omyl i
fe.I
knowt hejourneyI '
m goi ngtot akewi l
l behar d,
butpl easewal kitwi t
hme, all
owmet ol i
vemy
l
ife)

Whenshewasdone, theytookof fthei

rclot
hes
andgotinsidethecoldwat er ,
themancl eansed
them andburnttheiroldcl
ot hes,theworenew
onesandwentbackt owher etheystay.They
didn'
thavemuchr eallybutt hewoman
managedt opackt helit
tl
et heyhav eandwi t
h
themoneyshesav
edupwhenhelpi
ngpeople,
shewashelpi
ngsi
ckpeopl
eandget
tingpai
d
fori
t.

Assoonasshewasdonepacki
ng, shebid
goodbyet
oever
yoneshewasclosewi t
hand
tookhi
ssonbyhandandof
ftheylefttocatcha
bus.

*
THOKOZANI
*

ZandileandIhav eof f
ici
atedthi
ngsbet weenus,
IloveherandIt hinkI'
m gonnamar r
yher.Yesa
partofmei ssti
llhunguponOy i
ntandobutat
somepoi ntI'
m gonnahav etoforgetabouther
andf ocusonl ovi
ngZandi l
ethewaysheneeds
tobel oved.
Me:
"Baby
"

Zandi
:"Lov
e"

Me:
"Iwast
hinki
ng"

Zandi
:"I
'
mli
steni
ng"

Me:
"HowaboutIsendmyuncl
es?
"

Shel
ookedatmeandsmi
l
ed.

Zandi
:"Ar
eyoupr
oposi
ng?
"

Il
aughed,
shekeepsmesane.
Me:"
Iknowy ou'l
laskmewher
ether
ingi
sbut
yesI
'
m proposing"

Zandi
:"Wel
lthenmyhandsomeman,
it'
say
es"

Ipul
l
edhercl
osert
omeandki
ssedher
.

Me:
"Il
ovey
ou,
thanky
oust
handwaSam"

Zandi
:"I
'l
ll
etmyfamil
yknowassoonasy
ou
haveconfi
rmedwit
hyouruncl
es"

Me:"Okayl
et'
sgooutt
ocel
ebr
ate,
stop
cooki
ng"

Zandi
:"Hai
boThokozani
,whatwi
l
ltheki
ds
eat
?"
Me:"
Mykidsarenotl
i
ttl
eany
mor
e,t
hey
'l
lbe
f
iney
ou'
l
lsee."

Zandi
:"Weal
soneedtogocheckuponOl
uhl
e
andmakesuresher
eall
yisf
ine"

Me:
"Wewi
l
l,nowgetr
eadysowecango"

Shesmil
edandwenttochange,
anot
hert
hingI
l
oveaboutheri
sthatshel
ovesmyki
dsli
keher
own.

#Unedi
ted
#SJ

Remov
edt
obepost
edont
hegr
oup
I
nser
t14.

Aweekl
ater
*
SIMBONGI
LE*

Thist
hingofnotbeingabletoconnectwi thmy
mom isstart
ingtostr
essmeout ,
hasshe
tur
nedherbackonmemay be?Butf orwhat?I
am nolongerusedtonottell
ingherabout
thi
ngsthatarehappeni
nginourl i
ves,I'
m used
toupdateheraboutever
ythingandt hankher
whereit
'sduebutnowIdon' tunderstandall
thi
s.

Ol
uhl
e:"
Simz!Youseem di
stur
bed,
what
'sup?
"

Wearegather
edar oundt
het
able,
I'v
efinal
l
y
deci
dedt
oi nt
roduceOtsi
l
etothefamil
yand
theywelcomedherv erywell
.Sheisf i
nall
y
l
eav i
ngf orBotswanatomor rowbutI'm
accompany ingherjustsoIcanexpl ai
n
everyt
hingtoherf amil
ybuthopef ull
ylett
hem
knowIl ovetheirdaughterandI'
dliketomarr
y
her.

Me:"I
..
.We'
ll
tal
kabouti
tlat
er,
fornowl
et'
s
enj
oythef
ood"

Otsi
le:
"RreDl
amini
Sim oneal
engwanaomo
yangwhengrowi
ngup?"(MrDl
amini
whatki
nd
ofachil
dwasSimbongi
lewhengr
owingup)

Il
aughed,
dadi
sav er
yignorantZul
uman,
I'm
sur
eheonlymanagedtohear"Whengr
owing
up"
Sbani:"OhsorryOtsi
lemypoordadhereknows
nothingaboutSetswanaoranyotherl
anguage
forthatmatterexceptf
orEngl
i
shandZul u"

Otsi
le:
"Ohkemaswabi
hleRr
aDl
ami
ni"(
I'
m
sorr
y)

Weexpl
ainedt
ohi
m whatshemeans.

Thokozani:"WhenImethim hewas9andf r
om
whatIhear dfr
om hi
smot her,whenhewas
youngerheusedt ot
alkalot,Iguesshehad
toneddownwhenImett hem.Hewasav ery
reser
vedy oungboy,
veryrespectf
ul,wel
lal
lof
them werebutSimbongil
espokeonl ywhenhe
hadto"

Ot
sil
esmi
l
edandnodded,
MaZandi
l
est
oodup
togogetdessertleavingusconv ersingand
l
aughing.I
twasaf ul
lhouse, DadandMaSne
werealongwiththeirtwi ns,
AuntyNdekaand
uncl
eMv elowiththeirkidswer ethereaswell
.
Apartfr
om everyt
hingt heywer esurpri
sedt
hatI
wouldwanttogetmar riedattheageof19.

Londeka:
"SoOt
sil
ehowol
dar
eyou?
"

Ot
sil
e:"
I'
m 18"

Theydidn'twantt
ojudgebutt
heywere
honestl
yshocked,Icoul
dseebythel
ookson
thei
rfaces.

Mv
elo:
"School
?"
Otsi
l
e:"
Icompletedmatr
icl
asty
earand
coul
dn'
tfur
thermystudi
esduef
inanci
ali
ssues"

UncleMv elonoddedbutt heytr

ustedmet o
makeagooddeci si
on,Ial
waysdo.Ont heother
MaSnekeptongi vi
nglooksIreal
l
ydidn't
underst
and, i
t'
slikesheknowssomet hi
ngbut
she'saf
raidoftelli
ngme.Al li
nall
wehada
l
ovelyday,I'
mj ustnerv
ousaboutt omorrow'
s
outcomei nBotswana.

•
••NARRATED•
••

Thewomanhadar r
ivedf
rom Zi
mbabweand
bookedatt
hehotel
,shel
ookedathi
sson
eat
ingandsmi
led.

Her
:"Youl
ooksomuchl
i
kehi
m".
Boy
:"Ar
eyout
alki
ngmom?
"

Her
:"Noboy
,fi
nishy
ourf
ood"

Shest oodbythebalconyasmemor iesofher

previousl
if
efloodedinherhead,shedropped
tearsandwonder edhowi t
'sgoi
ngtobenow,
will
theyaccepther?Shehasal otofexplai
ning
todoandshe'sscar edtheywon'tt
rusther.
.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..

Thefoll
owingmor ni
ngSimbongil
eandOt sil
e
wereprepari
ngforthei
rtr
iptoBotswana,they
werebothnervous.Thei
rfl
ightwassettoleave
i
ntwohour sfrom nowandOl uhl
ewasgoi ngto
dri
vethem ther
esinceshealsohasan
appoi
ntmentwi t
hherdoctor.
Ol
uhl
e:"
Arey
ouguy
sready
?"

Theywer
eready
,thei
rdr
ivet
otheai
rpor
tbegan.

*
THOKOZANI
*

Irecei
vedanSMSf r
om awomanwhowoul d
apparent
lyli
ketoshareherst or
ywithussothat
wecanbr oadcastit
,sheisjustscar
edof
meet i
nginthepubli
cbecauseshei sscaredof
herabusi
v ehusband.Menwhoabusewomen
i
rrit
atemet othecorereal
ly
, howlongarewe
goingtohaveourwomencr ybecauseofmen
whocan'tcontrolt
heirt
emper ?

Zandi
wasst
il
li
nbed,
looki
ngatmegetr
eady
.
Me:
"Myl
ove,
I'
ll
seey
oul
aterokay
?"

Zandi
:"Okaybabe,
butI
'
llbegoi
ngt
omypl
ace
today
"

Idon'tunderstandwhywhyshedoesn' tmovei
n
alr
eady,shei shardlyeveratherplaceandI
l
ov ehavingherher e,shetakescareofusand
theideaofmyki dshav i
ngamot herfi
gurei
n
thehousei snicereally
.

Me:
"Wi
l
lyoucomeback?
"

Zandi
:"I
'
lll
ety
ouknowl
ater
"

Inoddedandwentt
oki
ssher
,Igav
ehermy
car
dsoshecanbuyt
hingssheneeds.

Me:"Okayl
etmetakethekidst
oschool
bef
ore
Phakadest
art
scomplaini
ng"

Shelaughed,
Phakadedoesn'
twantt
obel
ate
forschool
,ev
er.

Ithenlef
t,drov
et hekidstoschool
thendr
ove
tothedesignatedhotel,
shehadsentmethe
hotelr
oom numbersoIknowwher etogo.
Iarr
ivedandpassedbythehel
pdeskt
hen
headedtotheroom Iwassett
omeetthi
s
woman.

Iknockedonceandt
hedooropened.
Istoodt
her
eforafewsecondsandIdon'
t
rememberwhathappenedaf
tert
hat
.
.
..
..
..
..
..
..

Iopenedmyeyessl
owl
yanddi
scov
eredt
hatI
wasinhospi
tal
.

"
Oht
hankGody
ou'
reawake,
youscar
edme"

Icl
osedmyeyesagai
n,Imustbedr
eami
ngor
somethi
ngbutt
hisi
snotreal
.

Me:
"Youdi
ed"

Her
:"I
..
.Iknow"
Me:
"Webur
iedy
ou"

Her
:"IknowThokoz
ani
"

Me:
"Imour
nedf
ory
ouf
or10y
ear
s"

Isl
owlyopenedmyeyesandshehadt
ears
str
eamingdownherf
ace.Doghost
scry
?

Me:
"Younotr
eal
"

Shesai
d"Iam"i
nawhi
sper
.

Me: "
Oyint
andohow?HowbecauseIsawyoui
n
yourcasket?Meandtheki
dscr
iedfory
ou,
we
mournedf ory
ouand.
...
no!
!Noyounotr
eal
"
Shecameandsatdownnextt
ome.

Oyintando:
"Cany
ougi
vemeachancet
o
explain?
"

Expl
ainwhat
?What'
shappeni
nghere?Howcan
someonewebur
ied10yearsagor
esurface?

Me:
"Idon'
tunder
stand"

Oy i
ntando: "
Youknowourf amil
yisav er
y
spiri
tualone, appar
entl
yIhadacal li
ngbutit
wassuppr esseddeepinsidemebyev i
lspi
rit
s,
thereforewhenSamkepoi sonedus, my
ancest or
ssawanoppor tunit
ytotakeme, yesto
youandev eryoneelseIwasdead, youburi
ed
meandal lthatbuttrut
hisIwasn't.Idi
dn't
knowaboutt hi
sunt i
lIfoundmy selfin
Zimbabwe, Iwasscar edThokozani ,Iwas
confused, Idi
dn'tevenknowwhoIam.Ihad
l
ostmymemor y,t
heyper formedar i
tualandmy
memor ycameback, Iwant edtocomebackbut
Icouldn'tbecauseIhadt ogetr i
doft heevil
spir
itthathadt akenov ermyl if
e,Ihadt o
answert omycal l
i
nganddoal lt
hatwas
requir
edofme, Ihadnocont rolovert he
sit
uation,Ihadt ohelppeopl eanditt ook10
yearsformet obef r
eed"

Me:
"Yout
oldmet
omov
eon"

Ihonest
lydi
dn'
tknowwhattosay,I
t'
sher
.St
il
l
l
ookingsobeaut
if
ulbutdi
ff
erent
.

Oyi
ntando:
"Idi
d..
.Idi
dbecauseIfel
titwoul
dbe
sel
fi
shofmet omakey ouwaitf
orlong,i
twoul
d
besel
fi
shofmet
owatchyousuff
er,Isawhow
youhel
dontomeandIsawthepai
ny ouwere
har
bouri
ng"

Me:"
Coul
dn'
tyoul
etusknowt
haty
ouwer
e
al
i
ve?"

Oyint
ando:
"IcouldhavebutIwasn'
tsupposed
to,
itwasgoingtorui
neveryt
hing,
noonewas
supposedt
oknow"

Shewascrying,Icoul
dseethepai
ninherey es,
Icoul
dfeelherpainandmorethananyt
hingas
muchasIwant edtodoubther,
Icoul
dseet he
si
nceri
tyi
nherey es.

Oyi
ntando:"Doyouthi
nkIwouldjustsi
ton
hol
i
dayf or10year
swithoutseei
ngmyki dsby
choi
ce?Youofal
lpeopleknowhowmuchmy
ki
dsmeantome, Ihadnocontr
olov
er
ever
ythi
ngt
hathappened"

Me:"
ButOyiIdon'
tunder
stand,
itwasy
ourbody
i
nsi
dethatCasket
"

Oyintando:"
Yesitwas..
.i
twasThokozoni
,i
twas
j
ustmybodybuti twasmeantt omakeyou
beli
ev eI
'mreall
ydead,af
teryoubur
iedme,I
foundmy selfi
nZimbabwe,that'
swheremy
greatgreatancest
orscomef r
om"

Isi
ghed,Iwassoshockedtosayt
heleast
,I
coul
dn'tstopl
ooki
ngathert
oseeifshewon'
t
j
ustdisappear
.

Oy
int
ando:
"Phakadehasat
winbr
other
"
Me:"What?Waithowdoyouknowoursonis
Phakade,whatdoyoumeanhehasatwin
br
other?"

Nowt
hiswasmor
econf
usi
ng.

Oy intando: "Thokozoni Imi ghthav ebeenaway

from y oubutt hatwasi nf l
esh,InspiritIwas
wi t
hy oual lthetime,Iprotectedy ouf r
om allthe
thingst hatwer emeantt ohar my ou,Ibrought
l
ucki ny ourway ,Iwasther easonwhyOl uhl
e
mi scar ried,Icouldn'
twat chhersuf ferafter
givingbi rt
ht othatchil
d,ev ery
thingthat
happened, someoft hem itwasme.Iknow
mor et hany oucani magine, Ievenknowabout
thewomani nyourli
fe,Zandi l
e..
.youcanmar r
y
her "
Thatalonewasenoughtomakemef eelgui
lt
y,
shehadnocontroloverevery
thi
ngthat
happenedandhavi
ngt ocomebackt oherli
fe
andfindi
ngthemanshel ovedwit
hanother
woman.

Oyi
ntando:
"Ihel
dont
oyou,
Ist
il
lhav
ether
ing
yougaveme"

Me:
"Iwantt
omeetourson,
Phakade'
stwi
n"

Shenodded,
damnt
hiswoman.Ist
il
ll
oveher
sosomuch.

Me:
"What
'shi
sname?
"

Oy
int
ando:
"Thokozani
"
Me:
"Yes?
"

Oy
int
ando:
"That
'shi
sname,
Thokozani
Owet
hu
Dl
amini
"

Ismiled,al
thoughIsti
l
l havealotofquesti
ons
butseeingherheremakesev eryt
hingokay,
that
'swhatI '
vebeenprayingf
oralltheseyear
s
ri
ght?Forhert ocomeback?AndGodl ovedme
enoughandbr oughtherback.

Oyi
ntando:
"Pl
easedon'tt
ell
theki
ds,
Iwantt
o
betheonewhotel
lsthem"

Inodded,looki
ngstr
aighti
ntoherey
esandthe
thoughtofhowIlosthercameback,weboth
shedtears,hel
deachother'
shandandwejust
sobbed.

#Unedi
ted
#BAHWWMP
I
nser
t15.

*
NARRATED*

AtSi rSeretseKhamaI nter

nat i
onal Airpor
tin
Bot swanaSi mbongileandOt sil
ehadj ust
l
anded, Otsi
lehasnev erbeensoner vousabout
any thingi
nherwhol elife,she'sbeenqui t
eever
sincet heplanelanded.Ther e'sal otgoing
throughherheadandshecan' thelpbutbe
scar ed.MrMor ulewhoi sOt sil
e'sdadi sahard
man, heseparatedwithOt sil
e'smom buthei s
stil
l verymuchpar tofhiskids' l
ivesandheget s
tomakeal lthedecisi
onsi ntheirlives.
Si
mbongi
l
e:"
Babe"

Shekeptqui
et,hecal
l
edhernameaboutt
hree
ti
mesbeforesheheardhi
m.

Ot
sil
e:"
Umm I..
.kemaswabi
,Ijusthav
eal
oton
mymind,whatwereyousay
ing?"

Simbongi
le:
"Okaylet
'stal
kaboutwhat'
son
yourmindoverl
unch,it
'sbeenalongf
li
ght
.I'
m
hungr
y,youmustbeaswel l"

Otsi
l
e:"
Gosiame,
wecango.Icoul
ddowi
th
somefoodaswell
"

Theyheadedov
ert
other
est
aur
antr
ightatt
he
air
port
,or
der
edandsoonast hei
rorderar
ri
ved
theyst
art
edeat
ingbutOt
sil
ewast ense.

Simbongil
e:"
Okay
,let
'st
alkaboutwhat
'son
yourmind"

Shehuf
fedandpl
ayedwi
thherf
oodusi
nga
for
k.

Otsil
e: "
I'
m scaredSi m,I'
m scaredofhowmy
familyisgoingtor eacttowhatwewannat ell
them aboutus, I'
m scaredt heymi ghtnotev en
beli
ev ethatIwasabduct ed, moreespeci allymy
dad.Hei sav eryhardman, hemi ghtthinkIf led
withy ouorsomet hi
ngbecausecomet ot hink
ofit,whoget skidnappedt henfallinlove?I
my selfwouldn'
tbel i
evemy self,
Don' tyout hink
wemov ingtoof ast?
"
Si
mbongi
leheldherhandsandlookedi
ntoher
ey
es,t
hemor ehelookedi
ntohereyesi
sthe
morehef
eltdrawntoher.

Simbongil
e:"Idon'tknowwhat '
sgoi ngto
happenOt si
l
e,Idon' tknowwhaty ourfamil
yis
goingtosayort hi
nkbutIwantt ogoback
homeknowi ngI'vetriedandthatdoesnotmean
Iwon'tconti
nuet r
yingt opr
ovetoy ourfami
ly
howmuchIl oveyou"

Sheheav
edasighandnodded,
theyhadt
hei
r
l
unchandheadedt
oOtsil
e'
shometown.

•
••Att
heMor
ules•
••

Theywer
eseat
edout
sidebyt
hev
eranda,
Otsi
l
e'smom wasstr
essi
ng,t
heytri
edal
lthey
coul
dtofi
ndherbutnot
hinghel
ped.
Ast heywer esit
ti
ngther
e,sti
l
lthi
nki
ngofway s
tofindOt si
l
et heysawtwopeopleapproachi
ng
andwi thoutadoubttheyknewit'
sOtsi
le.They
allstoodupf r
om thei
rchai
rsandrantowards
thegat e.

*
Oyi
ntando*

I'
m backatt hehospi t
al,
nooneknowst hat
Thokozani isi
nhospi tal
exceptf orme.He
decidednott otellt
hekids, whenIaskedwhat
he'l
lsayshoul dtheycalltoaskabouthi s
wher eaboutshesaidhe'lltellt
hem heisheldup
atwor kwithpot ent
ialcl
ients.Heisgetti
ng
dischargedtodayandhecal ledmet ocomeand
takehim, apparentl
yhest il
lhasal otof
unanswer edquest i
onsandI '
m wil
li
ngtoanswer
al
lofthem.Isatonthechairnextt
ohisbed
whil
ehewentt oshower,soonhedone,hekept
onsteal
inggl
ancesatmeandbyt hel
ookon
hi
sfaceIcouldshock,confusi
onandalit
tl
ebit
ofangerwri
tt
enallover.
Everyt
hingwasdoneinnot i
me,thedoctor
checkedhim onemoreti
met oensurethathei
s
okaybeforesigni
nghi
sdischar
gepaper s.

Wedrovet
othehot
elwhi
l
ehi
sey
eswer
e
bor
ingmyski
n.

Assoonaswear
ri
ved.
..

"
Oyi
ntandocanwer
eal
l
ytal
k"

That
'st
hef
ir
stt
hinghesai
d.
It
ookadeepbr
eat
haswebot
hsatdown.

Me:"I
'm nothi
dinganyt
hing,
ever
ythi
ngIt
old
youwast hetr
uth,t
hetr
uthIhadnocontr
olover
soevennowwhat everyouwantt
oknowI '
l
ltel
l
you"

Thokozani:"
Yousaidwehav eason, fr
om what
Iknowdur i
ngyourpregnancy,ourdoctornever
tol
dusaboutt wi
ns,wheny ougav ebir
thatthe
hospi
tal
, t
heycouldhavetoldusy ouhavetwins,
Ineedclari
tyonthatfi
rst
,howdi dthedoctors
missthat?"

Me:"Idon'tknowhowt heymisseditbutwhereI
wastheyt ol
dmet hathewashi di
ng,theymade
sur
et hatdoctor
sdon'tgett
oseehi m because
hisli
fewasi ndanger ,hehast hegi ftthat
Simbongi l
ehasbuthi si sdeeper , assoonas
Simbongi l
emar r
iest hatgi r
l,hewoul dhav e
walkedhi sj ourney ,hedi dev erythingt hatwas
requiredofhi m, helpedpeopl efrom al lwal ksof
l
ifesonowi t'
st i
mef orhi mt ober ewar dedf or
hiswor kandobedi ence.Thokozani isgoingt o
takeov erandt hedi ffer encebet weenhi m and
Simbongi l
ei st hatSi mbongi lei sst rongerand
Thokozani const antlyneedspr ot ect ionf r
om
theancest or sbecausehei sgoi ngt obet ested
allt
het ime, Idon' tknowi fthatanswer syour
quest i
onbuty esIal sodi dn'tknowIwas
carryi
ngt winsunt ilIdel iveredhi m, hewasput
onmyhandsandIsawaspi t t
ingi mageofy ou.
Iwasshockedbutt hewomanwhodel ivered
him explainedev erythi ngt ome, shewentasf ar
aspr ovingitbyshowi ngmemypr ev i
ousl i
fe,
thedangert hatIandmyf ami l
ywoul dhav e
beeni nhadInotmadei tther eorhadt heynot
takenme, Iwat chedi tl i
keamov iepl ayingon
TV.I twast hehar destt hingI '
v eev erhadt ogo
throughbutoutoft helov eIhav ef ory ouand
mychi ldrenIhadt of i
ght ,Ihadt oper sev ereand
trustmet her ewer et i
meswhenIt hrewaf i
tand
toldt hem I 'm comi ngbackt oSout hAf rica,I
coul dn'thandl ethehi t,
Icoul dn'thandl et hepain
ofbei ngf arf r
om y ouandt heki dsbutmor e
thanany t
hi ngIcoul dn'thandl eseei ngy ouguy s
cry,bel i
ev ingI '
m deadwhi lstIwasal ive.I fyou
thinkIhadi teasy ,Ididn'tThokozani .Ihadt obe
awayf rom t hepeopl eIl ov efor10y ear s,Ihad
tof r
eet heonl ymanI '
veev erlov ed,Ihadt o
wat chy oubewi thanot herwomanandy esI
knowy oudon' tloveher ,y oul ovet heideaofher
beingsi mi l
art ome, IknowIchoseherf ory ou
andt hat'sonl ybecauseshewast heonl ybet t
er
womanIsaw, Iknewshe' dbegoodt omyki ds,I
knewshe' dputy ourhear tatease. "

Ispokeandcoul
dn'
tst
op,
all
thatwas
accompaniedbymywor dswast ears,
Thokozaniwasnowi nfrontofmehol di
ngmy
hand,whil
eIwentonandont al
king.Ift
here'
s
onethi
ngIdon'twantisbeingcr ucif
iedfor
somethingIhadnocont rol
ov er
,Iwantpeople
tounderst
andthatIdidn'
tchooset obewher eI
was,Iwasnotonsomehol idaysomewher ein
anisl
andhav i
ngtheti
meofmyl i
fe,Ihadithard.

Thokozani
:"Okay.
..okay
,Iunderstand,Igeti
t
andIbeli
eveyou.Youdon' thav
etocr ybecause
i
tdoesn'tmatt
ernow, al
lthatmattersisthat
youarebackandI'm sohappyt oseey ouagain"

Heki
ssedmyhands,bot
hoft
hem,
thenhe
wi
pedoffmyt
ears.

Me:"
I'
m worr
iedabouthowtheki
dsaregoing
t
oreact
,wil
ltheyacceptme,
wil
ltheybel
i
eve
me?
"

Thokozani:"
I'
ll
preparethem, Iwon'
texactl
ytel
l
them butI'
l
lgivethem ahintandthentakeit
from t
here.Whenar eyouplanningontell
i
ng
them?"

Me:"AssoonasSi
mbongi
l
eget
sbackf
rom
Bot
swana"

Hef
rownedabi
t.

Thokozani
:"Howdoy
ouknowhe'
sin
Botswana?"

Me: "
Iknoweveryt
hingThokozani
,more
especial
l
yifi
tconcernsyouandtheki
ds."
Henoddedi
nconf
usi
on.

Thokozani
:"Sowher
eisTJ?
"

Me:"Ihadt
otakehimtothenear
estdaycare
f
ortodaybecauseIhadnoonetoleav
ehim
wi
th"

Thokozani:"
Wheredi
dyougett
hemoneyf
or
thehotelanddaycar
e?"

Me:"Iwassavi
ng,Idon'thav emuchbutIdo
haveenoughtocarr
ymet hroughoutthey earor
maybetwo.Iwashelpingpeopl eandt heypaid
me,somehadbiggerpr oblemst hatonlyIcould
fi
xandthatcost
edal otofmoneysobecauseI
knewthatonedayI'
llhavet ocomeback, Ihad
t
osav
eal
lthemoneyIgot
"

WellIcouldbehavingmoremoneyt hanI'
m
havi
ngnowbutIhadt ohelpoutwhereIstay
ed,
Ihadtopayf orThokozani
togototownanddo
Engl
ishclasses.

Thokozani:
"Butyoudoknowy oucan'tstayin
thehotelf
oreverri
ght?Fornowy oucanst ayin
ouroldhouse,Ikeptitbecauset hat
'swher eI
wouldgowhenev erImi ssedyoubutweal so
hadtomov eoutbecauset heplacecarr
ieda
wholelotofpain,
itremindedusofy ouso
much"

Me:
"Thanky
ou,
I'
ll
mov
ein"

Thokozani
:"Canwegogett
hechi
l
dfr
om day
car
e,Iwoul
dreal
l
ylov
etoseehi
m"

Inodded,weleftandwenttothedaycar
edown
theroad.ThokozaniJuni
orr
antoThokozani
i
nsteadofme.

TJ:"Youmustbemydad, mommyhast ol
dme
alotaboutyou,shesai
dyou'
reagoodmanand
thatyoulov
eme.Mynamei sThokozani
,she
tol
dt hat
'sy
ournamet oo,
Funnyri
ght?Father
andsonhav ethesamename"

Het
henl
aughedt
owhathej
ustsai
d.
Il
ookedathi
sfat
her
,hewasj
ustsmi
l
ing,
l
ooki
ngathim.

TJ:
"Iam 10y
ear
sol
d"
Thokozani
:"WowI.
..
Sawubonandoda,
Sawubonasibal
'
khul
u"

TJ:
"Sawubonababa"

*
NARRATED*
Thokozani couldn'thelpbutshedtears,he
coul
df eelitthisishisson,hecouldfeel t
he
connectionandt her esemblancewasj ustthere
tocementt heconnect i
onhehaswi thhim.He
l
ookedatOy i
ntandowhowasal sointearsand
smil
ed, hisloveforthiswomanwasnotgoi ng
toend,notnowandmostdef ini
tel
ynotev er.

Thokozani
:"Let'
sgogetsomethi
ngt
oeat
,I'
m
hungry
.Arey oualsohungr
ybi
gman?"
Heaskedthefor
evert
alki
ngTJwhoagr
eedt
o
bei
nghungry.

Oyint
ando:"Youguyscangot oget
her,I
'
llgr
ab
somethingatthehotel
.Remembersomeone
mightseeust oget
herandthenextthi
ngweare
al
loverthepapersandthenthekidsfi
ndout"

Thokozanisuddenl
yremembersthathecan'
tbe
overexci
tedli
kethatandf
orgetwhat'
satstake.

Thokozani:
"Okaybabywecangogr ab
somethingtoget
heratthehot
elIdon'
thav
ea
probl
em, Ij
ustgotcar
ri
edaway "

Oyi
ntandolookedathi
m,wi
thherhear
tbeati
ng
sofast
.Didhejustcal
lmebaby
,shethoughtt
o
her
self
.
Theyarr
ivedatt
hehot
elandor
der
edr
oom
ser
vice.

Oyintando: "
Thokozaniyouneedtor
emember
youi nar el
ationshi
pwithanot
herwoman,
you
can'tjustforgetabouther
"

Withadi sappoi
ntedface,heagreedbutOyi
couldtellhi
sheartwasnotagr eei
ngtothat.
TheirfoodcameandThokozani andTJcouldn'
t
stoptalki
ngandhav i
ngt heti
meoft hei
rli
ves.

Thokozani
'sphonekeptonringi
ng,hei
gnoredi
t
andplayedwit
hhisson,lat
erinthedayTJwas
ti
red,
hesleptandThokozani'
sphonebeeped,i
t
wasamessage.
"
BabeI
'
m backasy
ouhadasked,
I'
mtr
yingt
o
cal
lyoubutyounotpi cki
ngup.Ihir
edpeopleto
packupmybel ongingsinmyapar t
mentand
bri
ngthem here,I
'
v efi
nal
lydeci
dedt omovein.
OhalsoIcookedy ourfavour
it
e,Seey ouwhen
yougetback.Iloveyou"

Helookedatt
hemessageandf
orthef
ir
stti
me
hewonderedwhydi
dheaskhertomovein,
he
si
ghed.

Oyi
ntando:
"Gobewi
thher
,I'
l
lseey
ousome
ot
hertime"

Thokozani
:"Il
o..
."

Oy
int
ando:
"I'
l
lwal
kyouout
"
Shecuthi
m beforehecoul
dfi
nisht
alking.He
st
oodupandsl owlywentt
oki
sshisson, he
l
ookedatOyiforsometi
mebeforewalkingout
.

*
Thokozani
*

Mydr i
vehomewasnotoneI 'ml ookingf orward
to,Ihav etolookatt hekidsandnott ellthem
theirmom i sali
ve, Ihav etol ookatZandi andli
e
toheraboutmyf eelings.Iam t heonewho
askedhert omov ei nandwhenshef inal
lydoes,
thishappens?HowdoIev enbegi nbr eakingher
hear t
?Iwasdr i
vi
ngl ikethatwhi l
ethinking, I
didn'treal
iseIwasdr iv
ingont hewr ongl ane
untilthecarhoot edbr i
ngingmebackt or eal
it
y,
Igotbackt other i
ghtl aneanddr ovehome.As
soonasIar ri
ved, Ifoundat ruckpar kedbyt he
drivewayof fl
oadingt hi
ngswhi chIbel ieveare
Zandi l
e's.
Igotoffthecarandslowlywalkedpassedthe
deli
verypeopl
e,Ifoundhercookingi
nthe
kit
chenwi t
hSbani si
tt
ingonthehighchai
r
tal
kingtoher.

Me:
"Heyguy
s"

Sbani
:"That
'saf
ir
st,
heyguy
s?Ar
eyouokay
dad?"

Me: "
YesbabyI '
mfine,j
usthadal ongand
exhausti
ngday,aft
eryesterday
'smeetingt
hat
wasf ul
lofdrama,eventodaywehadt ogoon
aboutit
,I'
m soexhausted.UphiuPhakade?
"

Zandiwasj
ustshockedt
hatIwasnot
acknowl
edgi
ngherbuthowdoIevenstar
t?
Sbani
:"I
nhisroom,shameyoudol
ooktir
ed.Go
takeabaththencomeeat
,MaZandicooked
yourf
avouri
te"

Thokozani
:"OkayI
'
m comi
ng"

Iwentupt hestai
rs,
lookedt hroughPhakade's
room andhewasl aughing,hislaughteris
exactlyt
hesameasThokozani '
s,Ipeeped
throughandreali
sedhei swatchingcar t
oons.

Me:
"Sawubonakhehl
a"

Hej
umpedoutofbedandr
ant
ome.

Phakade:
"Daddy,
Imi
ssedy
ou.Ubukuphi
?"
(Wherewereyou?
)
Me:"
Bengi
sayekweny
eindawo"(
Ihadgonet
o
somepl
ace)

Phakade:
"Youbacknow?Comelet
'swatch
cart
oonstoget
her
,theyar
esof
unny.I
t'
sMr
bean"

HepulledmeandIobl i
gedandwentt osi
ton
thebed,wewatchedtogether,
Ifoundmysel
f
l
aughingaswel
l.Ijustsatther
eandendedup
sleepi
ng.

#Unedi
ted
#SJ

Ty
pingi
nser
t16.
..
.t
obepost
eddur
ingt
heday
I
nser
t16.

*
Zandi
l
e*

Ihavefinall
ydecidedt
omov einwit
hThokozani
andtheki ds,cal
li
tVatnSit,Ical
li
tlove.Il
ove
thatmanwi t
hallofmyheartandwholeent i
re
beingifthat'
sevenpossi
ble.Whenheaskedme
tomov einwi tht
hem,Iwashesi t
antatfir
stbut
IthoughtwhatdoIhav etolosereal
ly?

Any wayIjustfi
nishedcookinghisfav ourit
e
meal ,MogoduandaDumpl i
ng.Sbani has
helpedmesetupt hetablebecausehonest l
y
wher eIcomef rom wedon'tevendine, wej ust
dishupandsi tintheTVr oom orany onewho
want stobeintheirroom candosof reelybuti
n
thishouse..
.BreakfastandDinneraret aken
quiteseri
ously,i
t'
sconsideredfamilyt i
me.
Oncewewer edoneset ti
ngupwewai tedfor
Thokozani tof i
nishtaki ngashowerwhi l
eIwent
toPhakade' sroom t ot ellhim heshouldcome
eat,immedi at
elywhenIgott here.
..
.Wow!!
!Heis
sleeping,Ij
ustst oodt herebyt hedoorand
wat chedthem sleep, PhakadeonThokozani '
s
chest .I
twashonest l
yabeaut i
fulsi
ghttosee.I
switchedofft hel i
ghtandl eftthem sl
eepi
ng.

Sbani
:"Wher
ear
ethey
?"

Me:
"Theyar
esl
eepi
ng"

Shel
ookedatmel
ikeIj
ustsai
dsomethi
ngout
oft
hisworl
d,l
i
keI
'
vespokeninafor
eign
l
anguage.

Sbani
:"What
?"
Me:
"Bal
ele"(
Theyar
esl
eepi
ng)

Shecl
appedonceandsai
d..
..
.

Sbani
:"Wel
ll
et'
seatt
hen"

Wedishedoutf orour
selv
esandat e,
itwasso
awkwardsitt
ingli
kethattogethersowe
mutuall
ydecidedtogotot hebedroomsaf ter
washingthedishesweusedandpacki ngaway
ever
ythi
ngwehadputont hedini
ngtable.

Sbani
:"Goodni
ghtMa"

Me:
"Goodni
ghtbaby
"
Weheadedt oourbedr ooms, Ichangedmy
dressandfi
ll
edmy selfintoThokozani'
st-
shir
t,
Shamehedi dlookt i
red, al
thoughIfeelabi
t
l
onelyinherewithouthi m butIunderst
and,I
st
ar t
edthi
nkingaboutsomanyt hingsunt
il
sl
eepconsumedme.

*
Thokozani
*

Ican'tbeli
eveIendedupsl eepingwi thPhakade
i
nhi sr oom.Imi sseddinnerandIbel ieveZandi
cookedwi t
hlov e,i
twasi nt heweehour swhenI
decidedt ogot omybedr oom, Islowl yremov ed
Phakadef rom mychestandt iptoedmy selfout
.
Ipeepedt hroughbef oregoi ngin, shewas
sleepingpeacef ul
ly,not
hingbot heringher,she
l
ookedsobeaut if
ulandf oramomentIt hought
"Am Ir eal
lygoingtohur ther ?
"Shedoesn' t
deserv eanykindofpai n,shei sasai nt,
she
woul
dn'
tev
enki
l
laf
ly.

SoItookoutmyclothesandonl
yremainedin
myboxershort
s.Igotinbed,
car
efulnotto
wakeherup.

Icouldn'tevensleep,Ij
ustlookedatherand
sighed,howdoIev entell
her?She'sgonna
thinkIusedher ,t
hatIdidn'
tloveher.MaybeI
diduseaf teral
l,
wellIdi
dl i
keherbecauseat
thispointintimeloveisadeepwor dtouse.

Me:
"I'
m sor
ry"

Iwhi
spered,
shesmil
edandmyhear
twentGu
GuGu.Isshenotsl
eepi
ng?
Zandi:"I
t'
sokaybabe,
Isav
edy
ourf
ood.Icoul
d
tel
lthatyouaret
ir
ed"

Isi
ghed,
shet
hinksI
'
mtal
ki
ngaboutt
hef
ood.

Me:
"Thanky
ou"

ThenIkissedherfor
eheadanddeci
dedto
pret
endlikeI'
m sl
eepi
ng,al
l
owingmythought
s
andguil
tt oeatmeaway.

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
.

I
nt hemor ningIwasthef i
rstt
owakeup.I
decidedI'm notgoi
ngtowor k,I
'l
lj
ustwor kfr
om
homeandmay begivethekidsahi ntaboutt
hei
r
mom j usttoseehowt heywouldf eel.
Iwashedmyfaceandbr ushedmyt eetht
henI
wenttotheki
tchentogetsomef ood,Imade
myselfacupofstr
ongcof f
eethensatonthe
hi
ghchair.

"
Mor
ningbabe"

Ial
mostj umpedoffthechai
r,mycupofcof
fee
wentfl
yingtothefl
oorasIgotstar
tl
ed,
She
soundedlikeOyi
.

Zandi
:"Babe,
didIscar
eyou?Areyouokay ?
Don'
twor r
yI'
l
ltakecar
eofthemessont he
fl
oor,
fornowletmemakey ouanothercup"

Shesai
dt hatheadingstr
aightt
otheket
tl
eto
boi
lwaterforanothercup.
"Eyeyeyndoda, Iwasatthehot el andIsawa
womanl ookingexactl
yli
keOy intando,shewas
withay oungboywhoi sPhakade' sageifI'
m
notmi staken,andtheboylooksl ikeacopyof
PK, i
fIdidn'tknowbetterorifIdidn'tseeKoti
in
thatcoffeeI'dsayshe'
salive"

Hestar
tedblabberi
ngf
rom t
hedoor,IswearI
coul
dfeelsweatrai
nonmyf or
ehead.Il
ooked
athi
m andhewasdeadser i
ous.

Me:
"Ihav
etogosomewher
e"

Iranupstai
rstogetchangedi
ntodecent
cl
othestheranbackdownstai
rswithmycar
keysandwal l
eti
nhand.
Zandi
:"Babey
ourcof
fee?
"

Mkhusel
i:
"EhndodaIj
ustgother
e,wher
ear
e
yougoi
ng?"

Iignor
edhimt
ooanddr
oveasf
astasIcoul
dto
thehotel
.

*
Simbongi
l
e*

Wewerenowgat heredinwhatIassumeisa
l
oungebutthecalli
tdini
ngroom.Otsi
le'
sfami
l
y
coul
dn'
tst
opcrying,moreespeci
all
yhermom.

MrMoruleontheotherhandwantedanswers
andobv
iousl
yIwast heonehavinganswers,
I
hadtot
ellhi
m ever
ythi
ngthathappenedand
howIrescuedher
,from howhel
ookedatmeI
coul
dseehewasbl amingmeforal
lthat
happened.

MmeMor ul
e:"
Thanky
ousomuch,
thanky
ou
f
orbr
ingi
ngmybabyhome"

Otsi
le:
"WellRr
e,MmeGagofell
egonef
ao,
Si
mbongileandIar
einl
ove"(
Mom anddad,
it
doesn'
tendther
e)

Shelookeddownwhilesayi
ngthat
,Icouldtell
sheisveryscar
edofherdadbutIalso
underst
andwhy ,
themanissointi
mi dat
ing.

Theyal
ll
ookedatherandIsweart
het
ensi
on
wasnothar
dtomiss.
Rr
eMorule:
"Otsi
lewer
eyouevenkidnapped?
Oryouj
ustl
efttobewi
thyourboy
fri
end?"

Si
l
ence.

Rr
eMorule:
"Mosi
mane,wet
hankforbri
ngi
ng
Ot
sil
ebackhome.Cany
oupleasel
eave"

Me:"RreMor ul
eIloveyourdaughter
,I'
dr eal
ly
l
ovetomar ryher.Ourswaswr i
tt
enint hestars
andblessedbyourancestors.Sheisthe
chosenonef ormeandIam f orher"

Thismanishotheaded,hestoodupand
showedmet hedoor.Isl
owlyopenedthedoor
andlookedatOt
sil
ewhowascl oset
ocryi
ng.
Ot
sil
e:"
I'
ll
wal
kyouout
"

Shefol
lowedmeandsoonaswewer
eout
side
sheall
owedhert
ear
stofal
l
.

Me: "
It
'sokaybaby
, don'
tcr
y.Iwon'tgi
veUpon
you,onus.Youwil
l bemywife,onewayorthe
other
.IloveyouOtsil
e"

Ot
sil
e:"
Ilov
eyout
oobaby
"

Ikissedherforeheadandheadedt othehot elI

hadbooked, Ihadtocatchat axitot
ownf r
om
Otsil
e'shomet henrequest
edacabt hatwould
taketothehotel.Ibookedmyf li
ghtthetooka
shower ,
itwasleavingearl
yinthemor ning,I
orderedroom servi
ce,atet
hensl ept
.
"I
'
m homebi gboy ,
mommyi sbackhome.I
'
m
heretohelpyouinever
ythi
ngy ouneed,
Youwi
l
l
marrythatgi
rldon'
tworr
y .
"

Ij
umpeduppanti
ng,
whatwast
hat?I
t'
sbeena
whil
esi
nceIdr
eamtofmymom andnow.
..
..
.
.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
.

Itwasmor ningsoIt ookashowert hentookmy

bags,headedst r
aighttotheairpor
t.Ist
art
edby
havi
ngbr eakfastbeforemyf l
i
ghtcouldboard,
anhourlateritwassett oleave,wesett
ledin.

Af
terhour
sofbei
ngi
napl
ane,
itf
inal
l
ylanded.

Igotacabthatwouldtakemehome, Idon'
t
knowwhybutIf el
tmyemot i
onsri
sing,get
ti
ng
outofcont
rolandIcouldwi
thoutadoubtfeel
mymom'
spr
esence.

*
Nar
rat
ed*

Simbongi
lear
ri
vedhome,i
twasempt y.
PhakadeandSbani
hadgonetov i
sitt
hei
rsist
er
andZandil
ewasouttodogrocer
yshopping.

Meanwhi
l
eatt
hehot
elOy
iwaswi
thThokozani
.

Oyi
:"It
hinkyoushoul
dcallt
hekidsandgi
vea
smallt
alk,
obser
vethei
rreact
ion"
.

Thokozani
:"Yousai
d..
..
"

Oyi
:"Si
mbongi
lei
shomealready,
justcal
lthe
ot
hersandt
ell
them i
t'
simport
antthatt
heyare
homewheny
ouar
ri
ve"

Het
ookouthi
sphoneandcal
l
edOl
uhl
e.

Ol
u:"
Heydad"

Thokozani
:"Heybaby
,wher
ear
eyou?
"

Ol
u:"
Att
heapar
tmentwi
thSbani
andPhakade"

Thokozani
:"Okayl
ist
ennana,
dri
vetoourhouse
nowwi t
hthekids,
weneedtotal
k"

Ol
u:"
Soundsser
ious"
.

Thokozani
:"I
tisser
ious"
Ol
u:"
Okaywel
eav
ingnow"

Theybot
hhung,
Thokozani
sighedandl
ooked
atOyi
.

Thokozani
:"I
'
m sohappyy
ou'
reback"

Oy
i:"
I'
m happyt
obebackaswel
l
"

Theyhuggedt
henThokozani
lef
t.

Whenhearri
vedathome,thekidswer
ether
e
i
ncludi
ngZandi
lewhojustgotbackf
rom
shoppi
ng.
Theywer
egat
her
edar
oundt
het
abl
ewai
ti
ngf
or
hi
m.

Thokozani
:"Bant
wanabami
Sani
bona"(
He
greet
edthem)

Theygr
eetedbackandsatdown.Zandiwasa
bi
texci
tedthi
nki
ngthi
sabouthermov i
ngin.

Thokozani
:"Zandi
l
ecanIpl
easet
alkt
otheki
ds
i
nprivat
e"

Zandi
:"Ofcour
sel
ove"

Shegotupt oleav
ebutbecauseofbei
ng
cur
ious,shestoodbyt
hestaircasej
ustsoshe
caneavesdrop.
Thokozani
:"Doyouev
ermissy
ourmom and
wishshecouldcomeback?
"

Theyal
lagr
eed,
wel
lexceptf
orPhakade.

Phakade:"Iwoul
dhavelovedt
omeether
,Sadl
y
I
'veonlyseenherinphot
os"

Thokozani
:"Imi
sshert
ooandI
'
dhappyi
fshe
wouldcomeback"

Thatki
ndofsquashedZandi
'
shear
t.

Si
mbongi
l
e:"
Dadgett
othepoi
nt"
Thokozani
:"Ther
eissomeonewhowil
lcome
here,
Ineedy out
oli
stent
oever
ythi
ngshehas
tosayokay?"

Simbongi
l
ehadhi
sdoubt
sbuthewasnot
hing
thi
nki
nghard.

Thokozanideci
dedtocal
lOyiandtoldOyit
o
comet hr
oughwithTKjuni
or,herequest
ed
UBERtobr i
nghertothehouse.

About30minutesl
ater
,shehadarr
ivedand
waswaiti
ngoutsi
dethegate,
shebuzzedonthe
i
nter
com andthegatesl
idopen.

Shewalkedslowlyandner
vousl
yandsoonas
shegottothehouseandthedoorwasopen,
ever
yonefroze.
Zandiont
hest
air
caser
anupst
air
sint
otal
shock.

#Unedi
ted
#SJ
I
nser
t17.

*
Simbongi
l
e*

ForamomentIt houghtIwasseeingthi
ngs,I
stoodupandl ookedatevery
one,theywerejust
asshocked.Iquickl
yrantomyconsul ti
ngroom,
Iransofastyou'dswearI'
mr unni
ngtoaplace
farawayf
rom here.

"
Simbongi
l
e"
Ist
opped,it'
sher.Buthow?How?Iwasy oung
whenwe" Buried"herbutthesoundofhervoi
ce
i
sstil
lthesame, it
'
st heonethatusedt
ocalm
mewhenIwassai d,
theonethatusedtocall
ed
meBoy za,di
dn'twebur yher?

"I
t'
smeBoy za"justthenIwal kedf asterand
l
ockedmyconsul ti
ngr oom,fort hef i
rstti
meI
waslost,f
ort hefir
stsinceIhadt hisroom I
di
dn'tknowwhatt otouch.Ijustsatont hecol
d
fl
oorandagai nforthef i
rstt
imeIj ustfel
t
wateryonmycheeks, Iwascr y
ing.

Me:
"Whydi
dn'
tyoushowme?
"

Iaskedl
ooki
ngatevery
thi
ngi
ntheroom,they
usedtocommunicat
ewithmeaboutever
ythi
ng,
theyusedtoshowev erythingbutt histi
met hey
chosetodot hingst heirownway .Ihaveser v
ed
thesebloodyancest orsf orasl ongasIcan
remember ,Ineverenjoy edmychi l
dhoodt othe
ful
lestbecauseIwoul dseet heheav i
estthings
thatwerenotev enmeantt obeseenbyki ds
andnowt heyf ai
l t
oshowmet hatmymom wi l
l
comebackf r
om t hedead?It ookthestick
behindthedoor ,Ist
ar t
edcr ashinganythingand
everyt
hingthatmyey esl andedon, Iwasnow
screaming.

Me:
"Ihat
eyou!
!!Ihat
ethi
s,Ihat
eal
loft
his!
!!
!"

Ibecamepowerlessandsatont
heflooragai
n,I
heardabangonmydoorandOl uhl
escreaming
myname, Icoul
dtell
shewascryi
ng.

"
Simbongi
l
e,babycomeoutandgi
vemea
chancetoexplai
n.Iknowy ouhavealotof
questi
ons,Iknowyouar eangr
ybutletme
expl
ainSimbongil
e.Pleasemntanam"

Shesai dandIf eltlikeI'

m goingcr azy,Istar
ted
hear i
ngmul tipl
ev oicesinmyhead, Shouti
ng
andscr eami ng,somet al
ki
ngatt hesamet i
me.I
closedmyey esandr ockedmy selfbackand
forth,backandf orth, backandf or t
hand
BAM! !!!
!!
!!
!!Thedoorwentf ly
ing, Oluhleand
Sbani wer ethef i
rstt oruntome, thent he
womanwhom Isupposei smymot hercamet o
me, shet ookmei nt oherhandsandIswearI
feltli
keI'
m home, it
'swher eIbelong, it
'swhereI
shouldbe.Thi sist hesamet ouchf rom whenI
wasy oung.

Theyallsatdown,
Idon'
tknowwhybutI
supposetheywereal
lworr
iedaboutme.
"Thokozanisheal
sohastobeher
e,she
deservestoknowever
ythi
ng"

Dad:
"Whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?"

Her:"
Zandi
leThokozani
,youcan'
tsuddenl
yact
l
ikeshedoesn'
texi
st"

Dadl
ookedl
i
keali
ghtbul
bwentoni
nhi
shead.
Hest
oodupandwentout
.

*
NARRATED*

Thokozaniwentupstair
s,hecoul
dn'tbel
ieve
thathesidel
inedZandil
eli
kethat
,thathetotal
l
y
forgotabouther.Assoonasheopenedt he
doorofhi
sbedroom hef
oundZandi
cry
ingand
packi
ngherbacks.

Thokozani
:"I
'
m sor
ryZandi
,Canwet
alk?
"

Zandi
le:"
It
'sokayThokozani
, Iunderstand.Your
deadwifeisback,
Iheardyout ell
i
ngt hekids
thaty
oumi ssherandyouwi shshecoul dcome
back,soshe'
sbackandy ourfami l
yiscompl et
e.
Whatam I?Whoam I ?
"
Thokozani:
"It
'snotl
ikethatZandi
le,
youar
e
somethingtome, pl
easelet'
stal
k"

ButZandi
didn'twannat
akeit,
shekepton
shovi
ngherclothesi
nherbags.

Oyi
ntandofel
tthatsomethi
ngwaswrong,she
l
eftt
hekidsforawhi l
eandheadedt
ot heroom
wher
eshehear
dThokozani
tal
ki
ng.

"Si
siI
'm nothereforr ui
ningthi
ngsbetweeny ou
two,I
'm her
ef ormyki ds.I'
m sorr
yifyoufeel
l
ikeyousuddenl ydon'tbelonghere,I
'
m sorry
andpleasedon'tleavenotonmyaccount .I
'm
notheretostay,I'
ml eavi
ng.I'
m onlyher
et o
expl
aineveryt
hingt omyki ds"

Shesaidimmediatelywhenshegotint
othe
room,Thokozanil
ookedatherawkwardlybut
deci
dedtobrushitof f
,inhi
sheadhewas
thi
nki
ng"Whatdoy oumeany ouar
eleavi
ng?"

Zandi
l
e:"Ifeel
used,If
eell
ikeI
'vebeenplay
ed.
Hecameher elooki
ngfl
ushed,pr
etendi
ngit
wasworkingkantiy
ouareback"
Oyint
ando:"
Iknowbutcany ouatleastcome
andjoinusthenmakeyourdeci
sionafter
every
thingi
ssaidanddone.
"

Zandi
thr
ewthedressshehadi
ntot
hebagt
hen
fol
l
owedbehi
nd.

Theywer
enowal
lgat
her
edar
oundt
het
abl
e.

*
Oyi
ntando*

Lookingatmyki
ds,I
'
m sohappy
.Thokozani
tookcareoft
hem,hereal
l
ydi
dagreatjob
rai
singthem.

Oluhl
e:"
Weburi
edyou,wesawy oui
nacoff
in
andwesawitwhenitwastakendown,
howare
y
out
henher
e?Howar
eyoual
i
ve?
"

Me:
"Yout
hinky
oubur
iedme,
buti
twasn'
tme"

Inarratedt
hestor
y,ImadesureIdon'tleav
e
anythingout
.Theywerecr
ying,Imyselfwas
cry
ing.

Oluhl
e:"
Thisi
sal
ott
otakei
n,Ir
eal
l
yneed
someair"

Shegotupandtookherbag,
assoonasshe
wasaboutt
oleave.

"
Mamadi
dthi
sfory
oumost
lySi
sOl
uhl
e"

Thatmadeherst
opandsi
t.Il
ookedatTJ,
he
wasplay
ingwit
hhist
winbr
other,obl
i
vioust
o
what
'shappeni
ng,
andIj
ustwishedIwasakid
l
iket
hem.

Zandi
:"Sowher
edoest
hatputusThokozani
?"

Thokozani
froze.

Me:"
Youdon'
thav
etoworryl
i
keIsai
d,I
'
m here
t
oletmyki
dsknowI'
m al
i
vebutI
'
m notstay
ing"

Thokozani:"
Zandi I
'm sorr
y,IloveOy i
ntando,i
t'
s
al
way sbeenl i
kethat.Iknowy ouf eelusedbut
asOyi expl
ained,noonehadcont roloverthe
si
tuat
ion.I'
m sosor r
yZandi ,Itr
ulyam butwe
canbegoodf ri
ends"
IswearThokozani
isgoi
ngcr
azy
,whodoesor
evensaysuch?

Me:"Thokozani
youwi
l
lhandl
ethi
sli
keanadul
t
pl
ease"

Insteadhesmil
ed,
Ijuststoodupandwentt
o
sitnexttoSi
mbongi
le,outofal
ltheki
dshei
s
theonewhoi smoreshocked.

Me:
"Boy
za"

Simbongi
le:"
10y earsMa,10y earsofpainand
sorr
ow,wemi ssedy oueverydaybutyouwer e
i
nZimbabwe, notevenanSMSt oletusknow
youareali
ve.Mustwer eall
ybehappyt hatyou
areokayandbacki nourli
ves?Howi sthat
fai
r?"
Ihadt obegandbeg.Theonechi l
dIknowtalks
wasn'tsayi
nganythi
ng,Sbani.Shewasjust
quietandhersi
lencebother
edmeal ot.

Me:
"Sbani
"

Shel
ookedatmet ear
sdr
opped,
Ihel
dherhand
buti
nsteadshet
hrewher
sel
fatmeandcri
ed
herl
ungsout.

Me:
"Thokozani
canIgowi
thher
?"

Thokozani
:"I
'
lldr
ivey
ou"

Me:
"Isai
dsor
tyouri
ssuesoutwi
thZandi
l
e"
SbaniandPhakadedecidedt
oleav
ewit
hOy
i,
Phakadewassoexcitedtomeethi
stwi
n
brot
herandhismother.

Theyl
eft
.

Assoonast heygottothehotel
,i
twasbuzzi
ng
outsi
de,Journal
i
stswithabannerwri
tt
en"WE
WANNASEETHEGHOST"Andal lsor
tsof
bannerswrit
tenrubbi
sh.

#ToBeCont
inued
#Unedi
ted
#SJ
I
nser
t18.

*
Oyi
ntando*
Ij
ustfroze,howdi dthesepeopl egethere?
Whendi dtheygether e?Andhowdi dtheyknow
I'
m ali
veandi nt hishotel?Ishouldhavemov ed
outthemi nuteThokozani suggestedourold
house.NowIhav enochoi cebuttor ev
eal
my sel
f,mybr otherandsi sterhaven'
tseenme, I
wouldhav elovedf orthem toseemef ir
stand
hearmysi deoft hestorybutnowIguesst hat'
s
onlyawish.

Me:"
Sirpl
easedon'
tdr
opusof
fher
eany
mor
e,
cany
ou...
."

Shani
:"NoSi
r,y
ouar
edr
oppi
ngusher
e"

Wi
tht
hatbei
ngsai
d,shet
urnedt
ome.
Sbani :
"Mamay ou'vebeenawayf or10y ears,
youhav en'
tbeenabl etol
ivey ourl i
fetheway
youwant ed.Youar enotaboutt ol i
vey ourlif
e
hidingfrom peoplewhoaddnov alueintoy our
l
ife.Whet hertheyfindoutnoworatal at
er
stage,theywi l
lfi
ndoutany wayandt heywi l
l
stil
lcauseasceneandcal lyouaghostso
ratherdeal wit
hitnowandf ocusony ourfamily.
Iknowy ouarepr obabl
ywonder ingwhatUncl e
Mv eloandAunt ieNdekawi l
lfeel orreactbut
tellyouwhat ?Thesamer eactiont heywi l
lgive
younowi sthev erysamer eactiony ou'l
lget
wheny ousitthem down"

Idi
dn'
tevenreal
i
seIwascr yi
ng,
Imissedouton
10year
sofmyki ds'
li
ves,t
heyaresogrown.I
l
ookedatherandsmiled,
sheopenedthedoor
oft
hecar.
Me:
"Sbani
whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
"

Sbani
:"I
'
m doi
ngsomet
hingt
haty
ouar
eaf
rai
d
ofdoi
ngmom"

Shecl
osedt
hedoor
.

Sbani:"I
'dliketobel i
evethatt heper sonyouar e
call
ingaghosti smymom, t
hef i
rstquestionI
wantt oaski swhatwi l
lyoudowheny ousee
her?Whatwi lly
ougai n?Okayl etmegi vey ou
somet hingt owriteabout, y
esmymom
Oyintandoi sali
ve, sheisaliveandhowshe
wokeupf rom thedeadi snoneofy ourbusiness,
weal lhavedemonst odeal withsopl ease
i
nsteadofst andingherel ookingforascoopof
thedayorweek, tr
ydealingwi thyourskelet ons"
Islowlyopenedthedoor,Igotoutandev eryone
gasped,camerasf l
ashedanddiffer
entvoices
startedt
alki
ng,aski
ngmequest ionsandsome
saying"Wherewasshe? "

"
Oyi
ntandodi
dyouf
akey
ourdeat
h?"
"
It
'sbeen10y
ear
s,wher
ewer
eyou?
"

"
What
..
..
..
"
When.
..
..
"
How.
..
..
.
"
Why
..
..
..
.

Theywer eall
throwingi
nquest
ionsatt
hesame
ti
meandr i
ghtatthatmomentIhear
dacar
screechi
ngandsoonOl uhl
egotofft
hecar
,she
rantowardsus.
Oluhle:"Youknowwhat ?Fucky ouall,gowri
te
what ev
ernonsensey oufeell
ikewr i
tingand
l
eav emymom al one,wher
eshewashas
absolutelynothingtodowi t
hy ou,ohbutI
forgot.
..
y oudependondai l
yscoopsf orsal
ari
es.
Mat aket hekids,let
'sgoandleavet hese
i
lli
terat
ebast ardshere"

Shepull
edmebyhandandt
het
winsf
oll
owed
sui
t,t
henSbani
.

Int
hecari twassi l
ence, notawkwar dsilence
butcomf ort
ablesilence.Ican'tbeli
evemyki ds
havegrownt oapoi ntofstandingupf orme.
Sbaniwasj ustfussingov erTJ,Isomet i
mes
for
getthattheyusedt obeov erprotecti
vet o
oneanotherandt heboy scouldn'
tstopt al
king
andaskingeachot herquestions,ontheot her
handPhakadei
sfussi
ngoverme,hedoesn't
wanttosi
tanywher
ebutonmylap,notthatI
mind.
Sbani
drov
eintoabeaut
if
ulcompl
ex,
Isuppose
shest
aysinanapar
tment.

Ol
uhl
e:"
We'
vear
ri
ved,
Mat
hisi
swher
eIst
ay"

Wegotoffthecar,
I'
mt ry
ingsohar dtokeepi
t
toget
her
.Iwannatreadcareful
l
ybecauseIdon't
knowwhereIstandwiththesekids.

Wegotinsi
deandit'
sav er
ybeautif
ull
y
decor
atedapar
tment,i
tsmell
sfreshandcl
ean.
Oluhl
ehasalwaysbeenneatandaladyofnot
e.

Me:
"It
'sav
erybeaut
if
ulhouseOl
u,I
'
m pr
oudof
t
hewomany ouar
e"
Fort
hef
ir
stt
imeshesmi
l
ed,
agenui
nesmi
l
e.

Me: "
I'
m sor
ryOlu,babyIdidn'
thav eachoi
ce.I
di
dn'tpl
ananyoft hattohappen,Iwouldn'
tup
andleaveyoufor10y ear
s,Idon'
tknowi fyou
sti
l
lrememberbutIusedt olovey ousomuch, I
sti
l
ldo."

Oluhle:"Mom it'
sokay,youdi
dn'tpl
anforanyof
t
hatt ohappen, asmuchasi t
'snotanice
feel
ingknowi ngthatyourmom thatyoulov
e,
missandy earnedforherl
ovehasretur
nedaft
er
yout houghtshedied"

Me:"
IknowbabyandIpr
omi
seI
'
llf
ixi
tandwe'
l
l
makeupforl
ostt
ime"
Sbani :"Theseancest orsar esomehowt hough
haii
, Idon'tthi
nkI'l
lev erunderst andhowt hey
dot hings.Howdot heykeepsomeonewhohas
ki
dst olookafterfor10y earsinZi mbabwe,
yooohha. amama, i
magi newheny ou" Passed
on"Phakadewasav er ysmal lbabywhohadt o
beinani ncubatorbecausehewasbor nbef ore
ti
me, Irememberdadwasl osingi t
,hadi tnot
beenf orGogo,Mkhul u, UncleMkhu, Aunt i
e
NdekaandUncl eMv el oIdon'tthinkdadwoul d
havesur vi
ved.Hewasawal ki
ngcor pseMa, he
wasn' tcopingatallbutnonet helesshedi da
greatj obraisi
ngus, hechoseusbef orehimsel f
andhemadesur ewewer ealway shappy
alt
houghwecoul dseet hatinsidehewasdy ing"

Me:"WhenIgotti
redandfeltmysel
fgivi
ngup,I
wantedtocomehomet oy ouguysbutthi
ngs
weregoingtof
all
apart
,IknewThokozani
wouldtakecar
eofyou,Iknewhewoul dbea
goodf athertoyouguy sandt hatkeptmegoi ng.
Youmaynotunder standbutIdi dt hisforyou
mor ethanIdi di
tformy self
.Thi ngswer en't
goingtogowel l
iny ourliveshadIf orcedmy
wayoutofwher eIwas, everythi
ngy outouch
wasgoi ngt ofal
lapar tsoIchoset osuf f
erf or
10y earsjusttomakesur enot hingbad
happenst oanyofy ou.That'showmuchIl ove
you,I'
dgi vemylifeuponasi lverplat t
erjustt o
seey ouhappyandf louri
shing.Youar emyki ds
aft
erallandy oudeser vehappi nessandmor e"

Theywerenowsitt
inginfr
ontofme,Oluand
Sbanicry
ingwi
thme, Ibr
oughtcl
osertome
anditfel
tsosogood,onl
ySimbongil
ewas
missi
nginthi
shug.

*
LONDEKA*
Ij
ustr eceiv
edanSMSf rom Mvel
osay i
ngI
shouldt uneint
othedail
yscoop,
I'm att
he
off
icesoIf igur
edIshoul
dcheckitonli
newit
h
myl aptop.

Thefi
rstt
hingthatcaughtmyey e"
Dodead
peopl
ewakeup?Wel lOyi
ntandoMbat
haAKA
KuneneOrrathershouldwesayDlami
nigav
e
usananswert othequesti
on"

Andt henIsawSbani comingoutoft hecar,

say i
ngy eshermom i sali
ve,whathappened
afterthatIwasn' treadyforit
..
..
Oyi,
Oy icoming
outoft hecar ,Iwasnowt r
embling,Iwas
shakingandt earswer emakingtheirwaydown
mycheeks, Icont i
nuedwat chi
ngbutIwasn' t
reall
yf ocusi
ng.Ihear dOlu'svoi
ceswear ing
afterwards,issheal iv
e?Ismyl i
ttl
esisteral
ive?
Wher ewasshe?Di dn'tweburyher?Iquickl
y
wi
pedoffmytear
sandpi
ckedupmyphone,
I
di
all
edOl
uhl
e.

Ol
uhle:"
HeyAunt
ieNdeka,pl
easecomet omy
pl
ace.You'
l
lfi
ndal
ltheanswersyouneed"

IhungupandsentMvel
oandsmst
ell
i
nghi
mto
meetmeatOluhle'
s.
Idi
dn'tevenwast
etime,Itookmyhandbagand
carkeys,l
apt
op.I
'l
lworklater
,todayi
snotthe
day.Itol
dmyPAt opostponeallmymeetings.

Si
hle:
"ButMa'am MrSobukwei
san
i
mportant
..
..
..
"

Me: "
Sihl
etrustheisnotasimportantaswhat
I
'm abouttodealwith,
Ihavepressingmatt
ers
t
odeal wit
h, i
fSobukwegetsmadorsomet hi
ng
t
ell
him Isai
dhecanwi
thdr
awhi
scont
ract
"

Ithenwal kedouttomycar,I
'm sonervous.
Whati fshe'sj
ustaghostnotali
ve?Arghhdo
ghost sevenexi
st?Youknowwhat ?Stop
overthinki
ngLondekaandgot her
e,f
indout
yourself.

Wit
hin45mi nut
esIwasdr i
vi
nginOlu'
s
complex,
myhandswer epracti
call
ysweat
ing.I
wasshakingandbusyprepari
ngformysel
ffor
anyt
hingImightcomeacrosswith.

Me:"Okaybreat
he,br
eat
heLondeka.
..
.i
n..
..
and
out
..
.i
n..
..
andout"

Islowlyandhesi
tantl
ygotofft
hecar
,Ist
rut
ted
towardsOlu'
sapartmentandassoonasIgott
o
thedoor,Ipr
eparedmyhandf orknockingbut
thedooropenedandIscram outloud,soloud
thatIsawsomepeopl ecomeoutoft heir
apartments,
IthenheardSbanil
aughingthat'
s
whenIcal meddown.Iswearmyhear twas
beati
ngoutofmychest .
I
twasthekids.
..
.huh?Phakadedoesn'
thav
ea
t
winasfarasIknowsowhat '
sthi
s?

Ol
uhl
eappr
oached,
Iwasst
il
lst
andi
ngout
side.

Ol
uhl
e:"
Aunt
iecomei
nsi
de"

Me:
"Who'
sthi
sPhakadel
ookal
i
ke?
"

Shesmi
l
ed.
Ol
uhl
e:"
Oht
hisi
sThokozani
,Phakade'
stwi
n"

Il
ookedather
,wai
ti
ngf
oranexpl
anat
ion.

Sheshr uggedandopenedwi deformetowalk

i
n,IfinallydidandIsweart hewhol er
oom was
spinning,it
'sher,
mysi ster,If
eltsodi
zzyIr
an
tothebat hroom feeli
nglikeI'
m gonnavomitbut
nothingcameout ,that
'swhathappenswhen
I'
m scar ed,ner
vousori nshock.

IslowlygotupasIwaskneel i
ngdownand
whenIt ur
nedt othedoor
,li
keaghostshewas
standi
ngt her
e.Ialmostj
umpedbutmymi nd
remindedmet hatshe'
smysi st
erandwoul
d
neverharm me.

Oy
int
ando:
"Si
si"
Iswearhearinghersayt hatmovedsomet hing
i
nsideofme, Isuddenl
ydidn'
tcareaboutany
explanati
on,Icrashedmy sel
fint
oherandasi f
wepl annedwebot hwentdown, ineachot her
's
armswecr i
ed,wecr i
edsomucht hatIcould
my selfr
unningoutofbreath.

"
OhmyGod!
!!
!"

Webothl
ookedupandmetMv
elo'
sshocked
f
ace.

Mv
elo:
"Oy
int
andohow.
..
.?
"

Oyi
ntando:"
I'
ll
..
..
I'
l
lexpl
ainev
ery
thi
ngMv
elo,
I'
m
al
i
ve,Ineverdi
ed"
*
NARRATED*

Asi far ecordedcasset te,Oyitol

dt hem
everything, t
hesamet hingshet oldThokozani
andt heki ds,shewassl owlygetti
ngt ir
edofthi
s
storyher selfbecausef rom thelooksoft hi
ngs
shewasn' tdoneexpl aining,t
hereisst i
ll
Thokozani '
sfamily,t
her eisherusel ess
extendedf amil
y,thereisSf i
sowhoal so
deserv estoknowashei sthefatherofherkids
aswel l.

Mv el
oandNdekawer eshockedandindi
sbeli
ef
butforsomer easontheywerenotsoshocked,
theyknowtheki ndoffamil
ytheycomefrom,a
veryspi
ri
tualoneandt hey
'veseenhowOy i
'
slif
e
wassomet imessot heyki
ndofunderst
ood.
Mvelo:"
Asshockingasthisis,
it'
sgoodtosee
youagain,
knowingthatyou'
reali
veand
Phakadehasatwinbrother,
wow! !
!!
"

I
NBOTSWANA, ATTHEMORULE'
S
HOUSEHOLD.

MmeMor ul
e:"
Papamychildisdyi
ng,
please
hel
pher.Wehavetogotontat
eMogapi,heisa
wel
lknownseerher
e,hewil
lhel
pher"

Otsi
lewashav i
ngv eryi
ntensesei zures,her
eyeswereslowlybutsurelyturningwhi t
eand
foam comingoutofhermout h,shewas
shaki
ngsobad, herskinascol dasi ce.Rre
Morulesentoneoft hekidstogol ookforRre
Mogapi whoisav erygoodtraditionalhealer
,
thechil
dranoutandwentt ofindhi m.
Minut
esl
aterRreMogapiwal
kedi
nwi
tht
he
chi
ld,
hest
artedchant
ing.

RreMogapi :"
GagonasepeSenkal ethusang
kasone, mosimaneonalefakeeneakal e
thusang"(Ther
e'snot
hingnot
hingIcandot o
helpyou,theboywhowasher eist
heonewho
canhelpy ou)

Theyl
ookedateach.

RreMogapi :"Leit
sisentl
egorekebuakamang,
RreMor ulethatboywasnotl yi
ngabout
ever
ything.HisancestorschoseOt sil
eforhim
andyourancest orsagreed,t
hereforeifyou
don'
tgot oSout hAfri
cat ol
ookf orthatboy,y
ou
aregoingt olosethi
schild,
sheisgoi ngtodie
andshewon' tdi
epeacef ul
ly.Icanonlygiveher
somethingtoeaset heseiz
ur esbutthat'
sonly
becausey ouhavetotravelf
ar ,
theseizur
es
won'tst
opunt i
lthatboyhelpsher"(Youknow
ver
ywell whoI'
mt alki
ngabout )

MmeMorul
e:"
Papat
husangwanaka,
wehav
e
t
ofi
ndt
hatboy"

MrMor ul
ewassuddenlyquiet,
regret
tinghis
reacti
onandhowhespoket oSimbongi l
e,now
wherewi llt
heygett
hemoneyt ogett oSouth
Afri
ca?Ev enift
heydo,wil
ltheyarr
iveont i
me?
WillOtsil
ebeali
vebythen?

BACKI
NOLUHLE'
SAPARTMENT.

Oy
int
ando:
"Ihav
etogo"
Ev
ery
one:
"Gowher
e?!
!!
"

Theyallaskedi
nshockandfear
,int
heirt
hey
werethi
nkingshej
ustgotbacknow,shecan'
t
beleavi
ng.

Oyint
ando:"Nor
elaxguy
s,I
'm nolongerl
eav
ing
you,Ij
ustneedt
ohelpSimbongil
e"

Mv
elo:
"Hel
phi
m wi
thwhat
?"

Oy
int
ando:
"Cansomeonebor
rowmet
hei
rcar
?"

Ol
uhl
e:"
Takemi
ne,
her
ear
ethekey
s"
Shetookthecarkeysandr antothecar.She
hasn'
tdri
venin10y ears,apar
tofherisscared
ofdri
vi
ngagainbutt hewomanshe'sbecome
overt
heyearsfearsnot hi
ng.

Shedr ovestr
aighttoThokozani'
shouseand
parkedont hedriv
eway,thefi
rstthi
ngshedid
beforegett
ingoutofthecarwasbooki ngthe
nextfli
ghttoBotswanawhi chwasin3hour s
fr
om now, shethengotoutoft hecar.

Sher
aninsi
deandasshewasgoingt
owards
wher
eherspir
itl
eadsher
,whi
chi
saroom
wher
eSimbongil
eis.

"
AhhhT.
..Thokozani
,yesy
esI
..
..
ohmyGod!
!!
!"

Shehear
dmoani
ngcomi
ngf
rom ar
oom she
passingby,shedidn'
tcareaboutanyoft
hat,
sheneededt ohelphersonsoshepassedthat
room andopenedt hedoor.Si
mbongil
ewas
l
y i
nginbedl ooki
ngup,heseemedt obedeepin
thoughts.

Oy
int
ando:
"Boy
za"

Hetur
nedtol
ookatt
hedoor
,asmi
l
efor
medon
hi
sface.

Si
mbongi
l
e:"
Mama"

Oy i
ntando:"Wehav etogot oBotswananow,
yourgirl
fri
endissick,shewill
dieifwedon'tget
thereont i
me.Herf amilyi
ssupposedtocome
herebuthowwi lltheygethere?Theyhaveno
moneyf orthefli
ghtandev enift
heytry.
..
..
"
Simbongi
l
e:"
Saynomor
emom,
whatdoIneed
totakewi
thme?"

Oyi
ntando:"Takey ourcandl
es,waterand
i
ncense.I'
l
lbet heretoguideyoubutyouhave
todoeveryt
hing,thisisyourbat
tl
e,yourl
ast
bat
tl
emyboy "

Simbongil
egotupandwentt ogetev er
ythi
ng
hismom toldhi
mt ot ake,healsoheardthe
moansandgr oanscomi ngf r
om Thokozani'
s
room andwonderedhowhi smom feltbutshe
seemedf i
netohim andt her
e'snowayshe
coul
dn'thavehear
dt hem.

Oyint
andof
oll
owedhi m,hetookever
ythi
ng,
packedasmallbackofclot
hesandtheyranout
t
othecar
.

Oyi
diall
edOluhleonthewayandinf
ormedher
t
hattheyar
el eavi
ngforBot
swanashewil
ll
eave
t
hecarattheai r
port
.

*
Thokozani
*

#Remov
ed

IswearIheardOy i
ntando'
svoi
ce,Ist
oppedat
thatmomentwhenIhear dt
hedoorclosi
ng.I
gotoffZandi
le,putmypantsonandIwasl at
e
whenIgotout si
debecausether
ewasnoone
there,
Iranbackinsi
de.

Me:
"Zandi
I'
m af
rai
dyougonnahav
etol
eav
e,
thi
swasourgoodby e.OnceagainI'
m sor
ryfor
hurt
ingyou,youdeservebetter
,youdeserv
e
someonewhowi l
ltr
ulyloveyou.Youare
beauti
ful
,goodheartedandanymanwoul dbe
happytohavey ouintheirl
i
vesbutI'
m afr
aidI'
m
notthatman"

Wej usthadagoodby esexandIthi

nkIr
egr
eti
t
becauseI'm defi
nitel
ysureOyiwasher
eand
sheheardev ery
thing.

Zandi
:"Iwi
shyout
hebesti
nyourl
i
fe,
bye
Thokozani
."

Shet
ookherbagsandr
equestedanUberwhi
ch
di
dn'
tev
entaketi
metoarr
ive.
Iarr
angedwi
thpeopl
etocomegetal
lher
thi
ngs.
Justasshelef
t,Mkhusel
iwal
ked.Anot
her
headache.

Mkhusel
i:
"Didyouknowaboutthis?Thatma
Mbathai
salive,
Icameher
eandt oldyouIsaw
someoneli
keherandyouupandl eft
,di
dyou
know?Becausenowit'
sal
loverthenews"

Didwehavesexforsolongt hatIdidn'
treal
i
se
thi
ngswerehappeni
ngoutt here,because
Mkhusel
ishowedmeav ideoont hedail
yscoop
andnowIswearthewhol eSout hAfri
caknows
aboutt
heretur
nofOyintando.

#Unedi
ted
#SJ
Youknowwher
etof
indt
her
emov
ed,
tobe
post
edint
hegr
oup.

Twomor
einser
tstogot
henwear
edoneand
movi
ngt
otheaffai
r.

Fort
hosethatar
enoti
nthegr
oup,
sear
ch
STORIESBYLERATOMALINGAFANS
I
nser
t19
•
•••
Teaser
•••
•

ShelookedatThokozaniandwonder
ed,
"Ist
his
thesamemanIf el
linlov
ewi t
h?"

Thokozani
:"Ukahl
emama?
"

Oy
int
ando:
"Ihopey
oudor
eal
i
set
haty
our
aped
her
"

Thokozani
frownednotunder
standi
ngwhatOy
i
i
sonabout .

Oy
int
ando:
"Zandi
l
e,y
our
apedher
"

Thokozani:"
I.
..
babyIdi
dn'
trapeher ,
IknowI
shoul
dn'thavegoneabouti
tt hatwaybuti
twas
notagainstherwil
l
,shedi
dn'ttell
met ost
op"

Oyichuckl
ed,
pickedupherbagandl
ookedat
hi
m.

Oyi
ntando:"I
'm notabouttosayIdotoaman
whocan'tadmi tt
ohiswrongs,youandIcan
nev
erbet ogetherforsolongasZandi
lei
snot
happy
,fi
xt hi
ngswi
thher
,askf
orf
orgi
veness
si
ncer
elythenwecantal
k"

Shest ruttedawayf rom thei

rtableand
Thokozani brushedhisfaceinf r
ust r
ation.He
suddenl ythoughtoft hatday,hishear tstarted
beatingf aster."
Ididrapeher,Irapedher .What
ki
ndofamanam I ?Iwasnotr aisedthatway ,
may beIshoul dhandmy selfi
nt ot hepol i
ceand
payf ormysi ns.Ihavetoapologize,Oy intando
i
sright, Irapedher "

Hesuddenl yst
art
edshaking,i
nhi smind,the
words"Irapedher"wereplayi
ngrepeatedly.
Sweatstarteddri
ppi
ngfrom hisfaceandbef ore
heknewi thewasf l
atonthefloorhavi
ngsome
sor
tofasei zur
e.Therestaur
antmanagergot
not
ifi
edandcal l
edanambul anceimmedi atel
y.
#Toni
ght
OnSkeemSaam
I
nser
t19.

Amont
hlat
er.

*
NARRATED*

Peoplewerefinall
ygett
ingusedt oOyireturn.
It
'sbeenalloverthepapersforthepastmont h,
eachpapercont ai
ningi
t'
sownassumpt ion
eachandev er
y day.Asforherfamily
,they '
v e
beenv er
ycli
ngyev ersi
nceshegotback,t hey
don'twannabesepar at
edf r
om hereveragai n
andsheassuredt hem.

OntheotherhandSimbongil
efinal
l
ymanaged
toconvi
nceMrMor ul
eaboutmar ry
ingOtsi
le,
shealmostdi
edandt hatwastheonlyt
hingthat
hadherf atherreali
sehowser i
oust
heir
si
tuati
oni s.Otsil
ehasf i
nall
ymov edtoSout h
Afr
icabutt hat'
saf t
erOy it
oldthem aceremony
i
nwhi cht heyhav etotal
ktot heMorule
ancestorsandl etthem knowaboutOt si
le
mov i
ng.Theydi dallt
hatandnowOt si
leis
off
ici
allyinSout hAfri
ca.

*
OYI
NTANDO*

Ihonestlywoul dn'
tsayt hingshavebeeneasy
duri
ngt hepastmont h,it'
sbeenhardbecause
I'
vehadt odeal withal otofthingsbutwhat
mat t
ersthroughi tal
lisbei ngbackhomet omy
ki
dsand. ..
*Sigh*andThokozani .Seeourswas
writ
teninthest ars,Ilov ehim somuchandI
knowf oraf acthelov esmet oobutwhat
bothersmer i
ghtnowi showheendedt hi
ngs
withZandile,seeingt hingsishonestl
ythe
hardestpartofmylif
esomet imesbecauseI
tendtoseet hi
ngsthatarenotsogood.Seeno
mat t
erhowy oufeelorthi
nky oushoul
dnever
all
owaper sontohav esetwithyouwit
hout
yourconsent,andanymanwhodoest hat
simplybecausetheywanttobehear dorwant
toprovetheirmanhood,hemustknowhei sa
rapi
st.Thatcanonlyhappenwhent wopeople
areinarelati
onshi
pbutnev erwhenanother
personishurtandangry.

ThokozaniandIhav ebeent ryi

ngtoworkonus,
gobackt owherewewer eandwhatIl oveabout
al
lofthatisthathehasbeenat r
uegentl
eman,
hetakesmeoutr andomly,callsmeeacht i
me
hefeelsli
keitandsendsmef l
owerseverynow
andagain.Ihavebeenstay ingatouroldhouse,
haven'
tconsideredmov i
ngi nwiththem but
hopeful
lyit
'l
lhappensoon.Aswespeakwear e
goi
ngoutbutI '
vebeendi sturbedeversi
nceI
sawhowheendedt
hingswi
thZandi
,
.

Igotoffthecarandgottother
estaurantwear e
meet i
ngat,hesawmeandgav emehi scutest
smile.Hehasgrownov ert
hepastteny ear
s,he
i
sdi ff
erentbutv
erygoodandhandsome
dif
ferent.

Me:
"Sawubona"
Hesai
dsmi
l
edwi
del
y.

Thokozani
:"St
handwasam,Sawubona"

Heopenedthechai
rformet
osi
t,It
hanked
t
henweor der
ed.

West
art
edt
alki
ngaboutany
thi
ngand
everyt
hing,l
aughi
ngi
nbet
weenandf orsome
reasonIreal
i
sedhowmuchI'
vemissedthese
moment s.

Thokozani:
"Ngyak't
handaphakadelam,there'
s
nothingIwoul
dn'tdoforyou,Iwantustoget
mar r
iedandatl
eastmaket hreeorf
ourmor e
babies.Imi
ssthatcookiesomuchaswel l"

HesaidandwhathedidtoZandi
kepton
vi
sit
ingme,Ij
ustzonedout
.

*
NARRATED*
ShelookedatThokozaniandwonder
ed,
"Ist
his
thesamemanIf el
linlov
ewi t
h?"
Thokozani
:"Ukahl
emama?
"
Oyi
ntando:
"Ihopey
oudor
eal
i
set
haty
our
aped
her
"
Thokozani
frownednotunder
standi
ngwhatOy
i
i
sonabout .
Oy
int
ando:
"Zandi
l
e,y
our
apedher
"
Thokozani:"
I.
..
babyIdi
dn'
trapeher ,
IknowI
shoul
dn'thavegoneabouti
tt hatwaybuti
twas
notagainstherwil
l
,shedi
dn'ttell
met ost
op"
Oyichuckl
ed,
pickedupherbagandl
ookedat
hi
m.
Oyint
ando:"I
'm notabouttosayIdotoaman
whocan'tadmi tt
ohi swr
ongs,youandIcan
neverbetogetherforsolongasZandil
eisnot
happy,f
ixthi
ngswi thher
, askf
orfor
giveness
si
ncerel
ythenwecant al
k"
Shestruttedawayf r
om thei
rtableand
Thokozani brushedhi
sfaceinf r
ust r
ation.He
suddenlythoughtofthatday,hishear tstart
ed
beati
ngf aster."
Idi
drapeher,Irapedher .What
ki
ndofamanam I ?Iwasnotr aisedthatway ,
maybeIshoul dhandmyselfi
nt ot hepoliceand
payformysi
ns.Ihavet
oapol
ogi
ze,
Oyi
ntando
i
sright
,Ir
apedher"
Hesuddenl yst
art
edshaking,i
nhi smind,the
words"Irapedher"wereplayi
ngrepeatedly.
Sweatstarteddri
ppi
ngfrom hisfaceandbef ore
heknewi thewasf l
atonthefloorhavi
ngsome
sor
tofasei zur
e.Therestaur
antmanagergot
not
ifi
edandcal l
edanambul anceimmedi atel
y.

*
OLUHLE*

I'
vebeencall
ingmymom t onoav ai
l
,t hel ast
ti
meIcheckedshewaswi t
hdadsohowi sshe
notatthehospit
al,whyi
sshenotpi ckingup
herphone?I'
m honestl
yconfusedandv ery
scar
edf ormydad.He'sbeenlyi
ngthere, not
moving.
Ij
ustdeci
dedt
hatI
'm goi
ngst
rai
ghttot
oour
ol
dhouse,shenev
ergoesanywher
eifshe'
s
notwi
thusordad,
IknowI
'
llf
indher
.

Igotther
eandI ndeedhercarwasther
e,Ij
ust
parkedbehi
ndherandwenti nsi
dethehouse.I
foundhersit
ti
ngont hecouchbusywit
ha
magazine,mustbenice.,
withal
lthemessages
Isentherandthecall
s.

Me:
"Heymom"

Mom:
"Heybaby
"

Me:
"I'
vebeencal
l
ingy
ou"

Mom:
"Oh"

Me:
"Oh?Mom whatdoy
oumeanoh?Dadi
sin
hospit
alandsur
pri
singl
yhehadseizur
esatt
he
rest
aurantt
hatyouweremeeti
ngin"

Mom:
"Iknow,he'
l
lbef
ine"

Iopenedmyey
eswi
de,
notbel
i
evi
ngwhatI
'
m
heari
ng.

Me:"
Ma!
!!
!wi
l
lyouatl
eastcomewi
thmet
osee
hi
m?"

Mom: "
Oluhleyourdadwillbef
ineandhewil
l
behomet omorrow,I'
l
ljustgotocookdi
nner
fory
ouguy sandwaitforhimtocomehome
tomorr
ow"

Shesai
dwi
thnocar
eint
hewor
ld,she'
smy
mom andIl
oveherbutIt
hinkshe'
scr
azy
.Ij
ust
huf
fedandl
eft
.

Tobecont
inuedl
ater
,thef
inal
inser
ttomor
row.

#Unedi
ted
#SJ
I
nser
t19
CONTI
NUATI
ON

*
Oyi
ntando*

Ijustarr
ivedatThokozani house,
Ifoll
owed
ri
ghtafterOluleft
.Iwon'tbeexplai
ningmysel
f
toher,shewoul dn'
tunderstandanyway.
Iinvit
edev eryoneov erfordi
nnerandt heyare
allgawki ngthei
rey esatmeasI 'm busyinthe
kitchen,hummi ng.Ifinal
l
yfi
nishedcooking,
putal lthefoodint hebowlsandtookt hem to
thedi ni
ngt abl
e.Noonewaswi ll
ingtohelpme
ast heywer egobsmackedbymyact ionswhile
myl ov eisIhospital.

Sbani
:"ButMa,
what
'sgoi
ngon?
"

Il
ookedather
.

Me:"Wearehav
ingdi
nnerasaf
ami
l
y,t
hat
's
what'
sgoi
ngon"

Ol
ust
oodup,
clear
lydi
sgust
edbymyact
ions.
Me:
"Ol
uhl
e!Si
t!
"

Olu:"ForwhatMa?Sitf
orwhat?Doy outhi
nkI
enjoysit
ti
nghereandwatchi
ngyoubehav el
ike
achild?Dadisinhospi
tal
Ma,themanwho
rai
sedy ourki
dswhenyouwereawaygat her
ing
madnessi nZimbabwe.Heisinhospit
al"

Igotup,shedidn'
tj
ustdisr
espectme.Iwal
ked
towardsherandshesteppedaway,.

Me:"List
enOluhle,youwil
lnottalktomelike
I
'my ourbestfr
iend,f
ir
styouwillsi
tdownthen
youyouwi l
lapologi
se.Iwil
lnott
olerat
ethat
nonsense."

Shequi
ckl
ysatdownuponreal
isi
nghowangr
yI
am,andfi
ddl
edwithherf
inger
s.
Ol
uhl
e:"
I'
m sor
rymom"

Me:"Don'tworr
yI'
ll
deal wit
hy oulat
er.Right
aboutnowt houghIjustwanty outorel
axabout
whatishappeningtoy ourdad,heisfi
neandon
thatnote,wehavedeci dedtogetmar r
ied.I
l
ov eyourdadandt her
e'snothingIwouldn'
tdo
forhim."

Theywereal
llooki
ngatmeinshockbutgood
andhappyshock,t
hatIcoul
dtel
l
.

Wecont
inuedwitheat
ing,wi
thOl
ulooki
ngat
me,
awkwar dl
y.

*
Thokozani
*
Ij
ustwokeupt ofindmysel
fonahospi t
al bed,I
j
ustsatt herenotknowingwhatt odo.Andt hen
everyt
hingt hathappenedplayedinmyhead, I
knowv erywel lt
hatOy iwon'tcomesoIjust
call
edZandi ,ittookaloti
nmet odothat,at
fi
rstshedi dn'
tpickupbutsheev ent
uall
ydi d.

"Whatdoyouwantfr
om me"thatwasher
quest
ion,Ii
gnor
edherandst
artedby
apol
ogisi
ng,Iwassosi
ncer
einmyapology.

Me:"Pl
easef
orgi
vemeZandi ,IknowIhurty
ou
butIdi
dn'
tmeandidn'
tto.Iam sosor
ry"

Ibegged,
beggedandbeggedunt
ilshef
inal
l
y
for
gaveme.
*
NARRATED*

Adayl
ater
.

Thokozani gotr
eleasedfrom hospit
al,
hewas
gl
adheapol ogi
sedandhi sconsciouswas
cl
ean, al
thoughhedi dfeelabitbadaboutwhat
hedidbuthewashappyheapol ogised
nonethel
ess.

Meanwhi l
eOy intandot
oldOluhl
etonotpickTk
upfrom hospitalasshewill
betheonegoi ng
ther
e.Shef i
nishedbathi
nganddr oveof
ftot he
hospit
al,shewassoexci tedbecausenothing
waswei ghi
ngonherany more,shewasgoi ng
tomarryherlov e.

Shegott
othehospi
tal
andf
oundThokozani
busyonhi sphone, probabl
ytryingt ofi
ndout
whowi l
lbepickinghi m up,her aisedhishead
andhi seyeswer emetbyt helov eofhi sli
fe,
theyar enowol derbutt oThokozani i
tfeelsli
ke
yesterday.Hesmi ledandOy i
ntandodi dt he
unthinkable,shewentandsl owl ykissedhim,
herecei v
edherl i
psandast heki ssgotdeeper ,
Thokozani squeezedhi sbuttcheeks, t
hingsgot
mor eandmor eheat ed,nowordsspoken, j
ust
thei
remot i
onsandt hei
rthought s.

Oy
i:"
Let
'sl
ockt
hedoor
,thi
sisapr
ivat
ewar
d"

Thokozani
chuckledandinst
antl
ywenttol
ock
thedoor,t
hei
rkissstar
tedoveragai
nbutt
his
ti
mewi t
hthei
rclothesf
lyi
ng.

Thokozani
:"Ukhonakanj
anukungi
sangani
sa
kangakamama? "(HOW DOYOUMANAGE
DRI
VING,
MECRAZY)

Hepi
ckedherupand.
..
..

#REMOVED

#Unedi
ted
#Unedi
ted
Removedt
obepostedonthegr
oupt
omor
row,
ngwanauSl
eepyr
ightnow.

Thi
sinser
tcompl
etesi
nser
t19.
I
nser
t20.
Oney
earPRI
OR
*
OYI
NTANDO*
Wej ustgothomef r
om hospit
alandThokozani
can'tkeephishandsof fofme, i
mmediately
whenwegoti nsidethehousewewer ebusy
l
aughi ngandspankingeachot herwhensixsets
ofey esgawkedatus.Thet winsandSbani are
atschool andtheseonesdon'thaveclasses,
plusOt si
lewhom Ihavef al
l
ensomuchi nlove
withov erthemonths,shehasbecomea
daught ertomemor ethanamakot i(Daughter
i
nl aw).

Me:
"Heybabi
es"

Ot
sil
e:"
Dumel
amme"

Si
m/Ol
u:"
Heymom"

Theywer
elooki
ngatuscl
ear
lyconf
used.
Thokozani
kissedmeonthecheeksoasto
makethem underst
andwhat
'shappeni
ng.

Thokozani
:"It
hinki
t'
stimeyoukidsmov
edout
,
mywi f
eandIwanttodanceandmakebabiesi
n
thi
swholehouseandy ouar
e..
..
..
"

Olu:
"EwwwewwwDad!
!!
!TMIy
oooh,howar
e
youfeel
i
ng?"

Haibovel
eThokozani
isbei
ngext
ra.Wasi
t
necessar
yforhi
mt ot
ell
theki
dsthat
?

Thokozani
:"Nj
engobaubonakehnganeyam
minangiwumqemane,ngishodanj
engokut
hi
ngi
..
..
."
Si
mbongil
e:"
Haibobaba,wear
eglady
ouar
e
fi
nebutTMIforr
eal
,l
et'
sgobaby"

Il
aughedast
heywalkedoutt
othegar
ageand
Ol
uhlefol
l
owed,
laughi
ngandshaki
ngherhead.

Olu:
"ByeBazal
i
,I'
m goi
ngt
omyapar
tment
.
Seeyoutomorr
ow"

Me:
"By
ebaby
"

Thokozani
:"R5000intoyouraccountf
orpi
cki
ng
theki
dsupf rom school
andspendingtheni
ght
witht
hem"

Oluhl
e:"Wi
thoutadoubtmyLor
d,I
'l
lbe
expect
ingt
hemoneyshouldbeinmyaccount
v
erysoonpl
ease"

Justl
i
ket
hatshel
eft
.

Iwenttoputthebagupstai
rsinThokozani
's
bedroom andasIwasabouttoturnaroundhe
washer ewit
hhishandswrappedaroundmy
waist.

Hekissedmeonmyneck, ni
bbl
edonmyear
andswirl
edhist
ongueinmyearthenhe
whisper
ed"Konj
esigci
nekuphi
mama? "
(WHEREWEREWE)

Hetur
nedmear oundsoIcoul
dfacehi m,I
l
ookedathi
m andhelookedsosohor n*,
asI
wasaboutt
oopenmymout htr
yingtosay
somethi
ng,
hekissedme,soft
,wet,passi
onat
e
andverysl
owkiss.Hegrabbedmya*
*and
squeezedi
t,Iwaspract
ical
lyonmyt
ipt
oes
becausewell
thekisswas..
..
yah.

HesawI '
m onmyt i
ppi
et oes,hepickedmeup
somylegscoul dbewr appedar oundhiswaist
.
Hestoppedkissingmeandl ookedstrai
ghtinto
myeyes.Lickedhisli
pswhi l
ehi seyesclosed
andopened.

Thokozani
:"Pl
easepromi
semey
ouar
enev
er
l
eavingmeany more"

Me:
"I'
m notgoi
ngany
wher
ebaby
"

Thokozani
:"Ngi
thembisest
handwaSam,
Ngit
hembisemama"( Promi
sememyl ov
e)
Me:"
Ngyak'
thembi
sababa,Ipr
omi
seI
'
m not
l
eav
ingy
ouandt heki
ds"

Hi
seyessof
tenedup,hel
ookedatmewi
thso
muchlov
e,IswearImelt
ed.

Thokozani
:"Ngy
ak'
thandaMaDl
ami
ni,Il
ove
yousomuch"

Me:
"IknowdaddyandIl
ovey
ousomuch"

Hegav emebabyki ssesal

lovermyf acebef or
e
comingbackt odevouronmyl i
ps,heki ssed
mel i
kehisli
fedependsonthekiss.Hepl aced
meont opofthebed,heundressedwithme
watching,mynanaitchi
ngsomuch, yearning
forhi
shar drockmemberthatjustcameoutof
thepantsspringi
ng.Hecamet ohim,kissedme
whil
egoingdownt aki
ngoffal
lmyclothes.He
expl
oredmywhol ebodywithhist
ongueand
whenher eachedmycoochie,
myj ui
ceswere
fl
owingli
keani l
eri
ver
.Hecameupt oki
ssme
andwhispered"Il
oveyout
hembalam"

Het heni nsertedhi shar dmemberonmy

coochi e,thepai nofbei ngav i
rginf
or10y ears
wasst i
llt
her esowhenhepushedhar derI
couldf eel t
hepai nbutashewassl owlymov i
ng,
i
tf el
tbet terandv erygood.Hei ncr
easedhis
pace, Iwasscr eami nghisname, hi
ssur name,
hisclanname, diggingmynai lsonhisback.He
pickedmeup,putmeagai nstthewalland
exploredev er
ycor nert
her ei
stomycoochi e,
wemov edar oundandev ent
uall
yIfoundmy self
screami nghi snamewhi lemybackwasont he
coldtiledf l
oor.
Thokozani:
"Mmmmm baby ..
..
I.
..
.ohSh*
*I'
m
fuc***cummin,pl
easehol
dmel i
kethatbaby
,
ngibambekanjal
o"

Iheldhimti
ght,Iwentf
irstandr
eleasedmy
j
uices,hef
oll
owedsuit.

Wet ookitt
otheshower
,kit
chencounter
,
balconyandal
mostever
yroom ther
eisinthi
s
house.Mycakehasneverfel
tthewayitf
eels
ri
ghtnow,Ican'
tevenwalkproper
ly.

Thokozani:"
Yinndabawahambanjengedada
muntuwam?Ukwenzeni ubaba?"(
Whyar eyou
walki
nglikeaduck?Whatdiddaddydotoy ou?)

Il
ookedathi
m andsai
d"Mxm"hei
ssopr
oud.
Thokozani
:"Ngi
zokuphi
ndaphel
a"

Il
aughed,wewer enowcuddli
ngonthecouch,
sti
l
lnakedjustcov
eri
ngoursel
veswi
thapolar
fl
eeceblanket
.

Thokozani
:"Iscor
edababygi
rli
nther
e"

Hesai
dbr
ushi
ngmyt
ummy
.

Me:
"Youar
ecr
azy
"

PRESENTDAY.

*
NARRATED*
"OhmyGod. .
.OhmyGodThokozani st
opit!
!!
!
Mywat erbr
okeIam notdyi
ngf orcryi
ngout
l
oud.GetthecarkeysI
'l
lgogett hebagthatI'
ve
alr
eadypacked.St
opdoingthattu"

Shewasaboutt ogi
vebi r
th,Thokozaniwentt
o
getthecarkeysandasOy i
wasaboutt ogoget
thebag,shehadav i
sionthatwasv er
y
dist
urbi
ng,shegotdefeatedandsatbackdown
onthecouch.

Thokozani
:"Babyar
e..
..
whyar
eyousi
tt
ing
down?"

Oyi
:"Wehavet
odri
vetoKZNbabyot
her
wise
t
hisbabywon'
tmakei
t"

Thokozani
frowned.
Thokozani
:"What
?Whatdoyoumeanbaby
?We
won'tmakeitt
oKZNsthandwasam"

Andt
henSi
mbongi
l
ewal
kedi
n.

Si
mbongil
e:"
Dadyouwil
lmakeit,
mom wil
lonl
y
gi
vebir
thwhensheget
stoyourgrandmot
her'
s
house"

Thokozani
:"What?Guyswhat'
sgoingon?My
wifei
sabouttogivebi
rthandIcan'
ttaket
hat
ri
skofgoingsofarwit
hher"

Simbongi
le:"There'sareasonwhymom car ri
ed
for12mont hsinsteadof9,Iwasinhertummy
that'
showIgott hespi r
it
ualgi
ft
,your
grandmotherdoesn' twantt
hisgi
fttr
ansfer
red
toy ourdaught er ,shei saDl ami niandshei s
supposedt otakey ourgrandmot her'
sname,
shechosehert oalsotakeherchai ratchur ch,
thereforeThokozanii ssupposedt ot aket his
gift
, t
hat'showi tcanbepr ev entedf rom goi ng
toNkosazana, hadmom gi v enbi rt
hi n9mont hs,
thegi ftwasgoi ngt obetransf erredt oher .This
i
sacompl icatedandv eryrar esituationbutt he
solutionnowi st hatmom hast ogi vebi r
thi n
yourgr andmot her'shouse, Ot si
l
eandIhav eto
getmar ri
edr i
ghtt hereasourmar ri
agewi ll be
theendofmyj ourneyandt hebegi nning
Thokozani 's"

Thokozani
sighed.

Thokozani:
"Babyar
eyousur
ewecant r
avel
though?Idon'
twannat
akeanyr
isks"
Oy
int
ando:
"I'
l
lbef
inebabe"

Shewasgett
ingsmal
lcont
ract
ionsev
erynow
andagai
n.

Theypr eparedandtookadr ivetoKZN, t

heyhad
totel
lthewhol eDlami nif
amilytobet hereas
babyNkosazanawi l
l bedeli
veredinGr andma
Nkosazana' shouse.TheycalledSfisoaswel l
sothathecoul dbet hereforSimbongi l
eand
Otsil
e'
suni on,hehast obl
essitandal solethi
s
ancestorsthathissoni sgett
ingmar ri
ed.Itwas
notabi gwedding,itwasaweddi ngt hathadto
bedonewher eonlyancestorsandf ami l
yhasto
beinvolved.
Noonewasleftbehi
nd,
Oluandt
her
estoft
he
ki
dswer
ethere.
*
SIMBONGI
LE*

4andahal
fhour
slat
er.

Wear ri
vedinMbumbul uwheredad's
grandmotherli
vedandimmedi at
elywhenwe
steppedinsi
dethegatemom' spainsgotmor e
andmor epainf
ul,shewassweat ing,Wef ound
anoldladywhoi saprophetwait
ingf oruswit
h
therestofthefamil
yandmybi ol
ogi caldad
waiti
ngforus.

ShesaidtheDlamini
clannamesandl edus
i
nsidethehouse,sheaskedGrannyDl amini
(Thokozani
'
smom)t opreparewaterandt owel
s,
shedidthat
.Thewomanexpl ai
nedev eryt
hing
thathadtobedone,sheaskedmeandOt sil
eto
stepforwar
dandsodoesThokozani Junior.
Shetoldtheancestorst
hatI'
mt akingawif
e,
askedthem tofreemeandhandt hegi
ftt
o
ThokozaniJr,ShethenaskedtheKunenefamil
y
toacceptOtsi
leasmywi fe.

Myf atherkneltdownandtol
dt heancestor
s
thatI'
mt akingawife,
askedthem toguideand
guardme.Ev ery
thi
ngwasdone, Ot
silewasnow
partoftheKunenef amil
y,weexchangedbeat s
thatwereappar ent
lyr
eadyandwai ti
ngforthi
s
day,putthem oneachother'
swr i
sts.The
womant hent ol
dMbathaancestor
st onotgiv
e
thegifttotheunbornbabyNkosazana,it
shouldgot oTJ.

Mom wasthenprepar
edforbir
th,noonewas
tol
dtogoout,shehadtogiv
ebi r
thi
nfrontof
us,
Thewomanencour agedhert
opush,
she
pushedandpushedandpushedandIcoul
dsee
dadwassowor r
ied.

Prophet:
"Pushanganeyam,
usef
iki
l
e"(
Pushmy
chil
d,shehasarr
ived)

Mom pushedtwomor et
imesandtheroom got
fi
l
ledwithbabycr
ies,itwassuchanemot i
onal
ti
me,dadevenshedt ear
sashisbeaut
iful
pri
ncesswasborn.

Prophet
:"Yourgr
andmotherhasbeenrebor
n
Thokozani,t
hisi
sNkosazanaNokukhanya
Dlamini
"

Ev
ery
oneul
ulat
edandIcoul
dseemom wasso
t
ir
ed.

ThokozaniJr:
"Gogosay
sy oushoul
dwrap
Nkosazanawithherwhi
teshawlsheusedt
o
wearatchurch"

Theprophetsmi l
edandsai d"Konkekuhambe
kahl
e,Simbongi l
euhambol wakhouluhambil
e
mfanawam, sekal
ucali
lelwakheUThokozani
omcane"(Allwentwel l
,Simbongiley
ou've
comet otheendofy ourjourney
,now
Thokozani'
shasst ar
ted)

Shewenttotakethewhi
teshawlandwrapped
Nkosazanawit
hitandhandedherovert
omom.

Prophet
:"I
ndeedthat
'swhatGogoaskedf
or,
herwhit
eshawl t
obewr appedar
ound
Nkosazana"
.

Dad:"
Mamangy abonga,Idon'
tevenknowwhat
tosay
.Ifeel
li
keaman, ungenzi
leindoda.Let
's
getmarr
iedmama.We' v
ebeenwai ti
ngforlong"

Mom: "
Okaybaba,
let
'sgetmar
ri
edathome
affai
rsthenwewil
lcel
ebrat
ewit
hfamil
yand
fr
iends"

Dad:"
Wecandoi
tany
howy
ou,Ij
ustwanty
ou
tobeMrsDl
ami
ni"

Theyloveeachotherandthatforusisenough.I
l
ookedatOt si
l
e,shesmi l
ed.IloveherandI'
m
goi
ngt ogi
vehertheweddingofherdr eams
whereherfamil
ycanbet hereaswell.
#THE_
END
#UNEDI
TED
#SJ

Thankyouf ortheloveandsupportguys,
thr
oughmyi nconsi
stencyandeveryt
hingy ou
sti
l
lremainedsuppor ti
ve.Iappr
eciat
ei tandI
l
ovey ousomuch.