Hello everyone,

Great! A room full of strangers that I'll have to disappoint. This is pretty much like my last orgy. They
were disappointed when I was there, because I was with the JAKIM! I helped them to translate things
they don't understand. Orgy tu apa? Orgy in Malay is poligami. Also like, bukan ustaz, ini bukan biji
timah, ni biji kelentit! Imagine not knowing a clitoris after 4 wives.

In case you're wondering who's that lesbian standing on stage. Let me introduce myself. My name is
Mohd Nor Amirul Norkhaidi, but I go by the name of Mir. Which means my parents say, 'what a lovely
name' and I say no thank you. I'm 27 this year, 28 next year. Which make me a millennial. Or as the
Economist put it, B40. Millennials are so economically fucked that my retirement scheme is premature
death. I'm so broke that the only joke I've is my account balance. All this talk about cashless society? I've
been on it for years.

I'm still single, but not because I'm poor, but because I'm sexually confused. I don't know whether I love
girls more or I love myself more. But I know looking at this, you must be wondering, homosexual! Don't
worry, you guys are not the first. My friend used to tell me that, Mir, you're so gay, that the only straight
thing about you is that you're going straight to hell. But I can tell you this, I'm as straight as the current
government 100 day achievement.

I'm so nervous right now, the last time I was this nervous they cut my foreskin off. How am I doing so far
But I'm trying out. If I'm bad at it I'll stop, if I'm good than I'll continue. If I'm so so at it, I guess I can
become a politician. Let's talk about politics shall we? This backdoor government. It's funny because,
backdoor government is also what I call my boyfriend. And how funny it is that the one time we've a
backdoor government, annuar Ibrahim is not a part of it.

Y'all like my outfit tonight? This is what happened when you've been staying in the closet. I'm both gay
and skinny, I'm literally a skeleton in the closet!

People like say the most annoying stuffs about being gay. And trust me when I say annoying, we gays
know what pain in the ass feels like. I heard someone said that we're gay because we don't have father
figure. That’s like saying you're into bestiality because you've never had pet growing up.

There’s also a lot of people that say being gay is a choice, if sexuality is a choice, no one would date a
man. Lets face it, the only good thing about men is their dick and not all men have a good dick. Men are
so trash. That’s why It’s called dust Bin, not dust binti.
Crowd work, anyone dating?

If I can choose who I am attracted to, I would definitely date a woman. Women are amazing. Women
take the smallest cell from a men, keep it in for 9 month and gave birth to something big. Then again
that’s also how they process their emotion. They pick on the smallest issue keep it for many month, than
they’ll make something big out of it.

I also learn recently why women are so good at compartmentalizing. They’re just build that way. They
use different cavity to urinate an to reproduce, men on the other hand, all in one. Now all make sense
now.

But I've tried dating a woman, it's a lot. This is my impression of a straight guy

Bullied in school. Called me names. I called them names to. I called them teacher and mom

Being gay and single is hard. My mom always ask me when I'm getting married. I got so tired so I said,
when it's legal. My mom is so shocked, she asked me, how old is she! No, that's legal. If I want to be a
pedophile, I might as well be a ustaz tahfiz! Speaking of tahfiz, I joined one recently. I think it's a good
way to spice up my sexlife. I feel like there's a hole in me that needs to be filled. But it's a good place, we
learn in Arabic in the day, so we be like Subhanallah. And at night we learn in English, so I be like Oh
God. And the best thing about the place is that it's full of Malay guy, and you know that Malay guys
always comes late!

Insult joke. Pretty