Exercise VIII.

11

FINDING A HOME GROUP

One of the things we hear mentioned often in Twelve-Step meetings is having a home group, and
possibly invitations to make a certain group one’s home group. This worksheet will help you
choose a home group and get the most out of belonging to it. It is a good idea to talk over
everything on this sheet, plus any other questions or ideas you have, with your therapist.

What’s a Home Group For?

1. To start with, let’s look at why people call a group a home group. When you hear the word
home what thoughts come to your mind?
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2. To most of us, home means any or all of these things:

• A place where we are known and accepted

• A place where we are safe and can relax
• A place where we are loved
• A place where we are missed if we aren’t there
• A place where we share important parts of our lives with others who care about us
• A place where we are involved in important decisions that affect us and others
How many of these are important to you? Please circle the ones you would like to have in
your life. What are some other situations where you’ve found these things in your own life?
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3. Some of the places many of us find those things include our families, churches, social clubs,
athletic teams, or our workplaces. Do you find these situations give you the things we
connected with the word home, or not?
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 Exercise VIII.11

4. Now think about people you have seen socializing with each other before or after (or
during) Twelve-Step meetings you’ve attended. Did they seem to be finding some or all of
the things we just listed in those meetings? Which things?
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5. Especially in situations where we have grown up in families where addiction or other

problems caused serious difficulties, we may never have experienced the feelings we
connected with home anywhere in our lives before. People in this situation tend to feel
lonely and as if they don’t fit in anywhere, and may try to find a replacement “family” to fill
the needs their biological families couldn’t. We often seek escape from these feelings in
alcohol or other drugs. How often do you feel this way, and is there any place, group, or
activity you have been using to escape loneliness? If so, how has it worked?
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6. To explain the idea of a home group simply, it is a meeting that you have chosen to identify
yourself with, which you attend regularly. If you are a member of this group, you may find
your sponsor there (see the handout entitled “Finding and Working with a Twelve-Step
Sponsor”). You may take on some responsibilities for that group, such as getting to the
meeting place early and making coffee, or cleaning up after meetings, or being the treasurer.
You will probably participate in the group’s discussion and decisions about issues affecting
the whole group, usually referred to as a group conscience.
Many people actually think of their home groups as a second family, one they have
chosen, which meets their needs for family ties in ways their birth families may not be able
to do. How do you think you would feel about the idea of belonging to a second family of
this kind?
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7. In your attendance at different meetings, you may have noticed that you feel most
comfortable in certain types of groups. What meetings or kinds of meetings make you feel
most at home?
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 Exercise VIII.11

8. In the meetings you like, how have you noticed people treating each other like family
members?
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9. How could belonging to such a group help you cope with and solve problems in your life?
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10. As part of your recovery program, your therapist may ask you to choose a home group.
Whether this is the case or not, you will probably find it benefits you to do so. Please list at
least one group that you would like to have as a home group. ___________________________

11. What is it about this group that makes it more appealing to you than other groups? __________
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12. When and where does this group meet, and how often will you attend? ___________________
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Remember to bring completed work sheet to your next appointment.