Examples: Introduction of the argumentative academic text

Please note: The examples given below are extracts from student writing. It contains,
therefore, errors in language usage and other writing problems. The formatting is also the
same as in the original texts.

Example 1
In the example below, the essential elements of the Introduction are given in the
following colours: background = purple; problem statement = red; thesis statement =
green; preview = brown.

1. Introduction
Climate change is changing temperature and weather patterns of the earth. Climate change
is characterized by an increased atmospheric carbon dioxide concentration, increased
average global temperature and an increase in the frequency of drought, flooding and other
extreme climactic events. Global and regional changes in climate patterns have become more
apparent since the late twentieth century and is of huge concern to scientists and
environmentalists. Climate change is accelerating at an alarmingly high rate mainly due to
human activities and poses a threat to natural habitats, ecosystems, wildlife and multiple
aspects of human live and survival, and it is debatable whether these threats to the
environment can be overcome. Climate change can’t be reversed, however, if urgent changes
are made, the effects and rate of climate change can be reduced allowing humans to conserve
vital resources. In this essay we support this view by discussing two adaptations which can
be made to reduce climate change In the first place, humans’ can reduce the amount of
carbon dioxide released into the atmosphere. Furthermore, we will examine the positive
effects of using renewable sources of energy instead of fossil fuels.

Comments:

• A well-written introduction, containing all the essential elements.

• Formulation and language usage generally good, with some problems in spelling,
punctuation, concord, sentence structure, etc. Can you identify these?
• The text adheres to the technical requirements set for your assignment.
• The introduction is too long (given your limit of 150 words), and can be shortened, for
instance by reformulating the problem statement and the preview.
Example 2
In the example below, the essential elements of the Introduction are given in the
following colours: background = purple; problem statement = red; thesis statement =
green; preview = brown.

1 Introduction

Climate change has brought about severe alterations to our planets’ geological, biological and
ecological systems. Ideally, climate change needs to be completely stopped, however almost
all daily activities like driving cars and burning fossil fuels, producing resources is stopping
man kind from doing this. The trapping of heat from the sun in the earth’s atmosphere, known
more commonly as the greenhouse effect will pose a greater threat in the future if not dealt
with immediatly. However, given the fact that we live in a time when resources are limited, and
many people are not willing to admit the seriousness of our problems regarding climate
change, is it possible that we can make the necessary changes to safeguard our future? The
negative impact of this changes can be reversed if the right procedures are followed. Solutions
to climate change will be discussed in this essay

Comments:

• The introduction contains all the essential elements, but some shortcomings exist.
• The most serious shortcoming is the fact that in the preview, the solutions referred to are
not specified. Furthermore, in the background, can you identify a clear definition for the
concept “climate change”? Also, is it clear what the relationship is between the concepts
“climate change” and “greenhouse effect”?
• Formulation and language usage generally good, with some problems in spelling,
punctuation, concord, sentence structure, etc. Can you identify these?
• The text adheres to the technical requirements set for your assignment.
Example 3
In the example below, the essential elements of the Introduction are given in the
following colours: background = purple; problem statement = red; thesis statement =
green; preview = brown.

1. Introduction

The world’s statistical weather and climate information shows that climate conditions have

been altering from one generation to the next because of both natural and human-induced
causes.. These alterations has brought about challenges in biodiversity and the functioning
of many living organisms as well as how these organisms life. Climate change, ranging in all its
dimensions and how living species approach it, poses a threat in biodiversity. both the
economic and social life of the species. This demands sociologists as well as
anthropologists to pay special attention to the matter in terms of studying for it. Thhe
purpose of this essay is to discuss the negative effects of climate change, focusing mainly
on land distribution and renewable energy sources

Comments:

• This introduction contains only two of the essential elements, namely background and
preview. The introduction lacks a problem statement and a thesis statement.
• Many problems in formulation and language usage. Can you identify these?
• Formatting problematic. The text does not adhere to the technical requirements set for your
assignment.