Topic 4

Introduction to Self-Concept and Communication

• By the end of this topic, you should be able to:
• 1. Explain the meaning of communication as a system;
• 2. Describe the relationship between communication and society;
• 3. Define self-concept; and
• 4. Identify factors that form the self-concept.
• INTRODUCTION
• The communication system includes all the communication processes that take
place in human relations; whether personal, small or large groups, or even
organisations. Knowing oneself and forming ones own self-identity are important
in human relationships. Only through self-awareness, can a person adapt
himself/herself to various levels and contexts of communication. This topic will
explore the extent to which perception influences the relationships established
among colleagues and friends in workplace situations and among members of
society.
• COMMUNICATION AS A SYSTEM
• In the previous topics, we discussed the importance of communication in daily life. As a process,
communication involves dynamic actions or activities in human relations that have no specific beginning
or end. A system is the combined result of parts which respond to and rely on each other until finally
they form a complete whole. Each part forming the system is a combination of sub-systems which
function and are managed in the related system. For example, if a person is not well, his thought
processes would function less than perfect. The whole body is affected, including his/her feelings. In a
complex system, damage on one part would affect the other parts. The computer is another example of
a system, performing tasks according to a specific set of instructions. Damage to the Central Processing
Unit (CPU) which is the heart of all computer activities will cause data processing failure. Environment
and time factors are elements that influence specific systems. Interaction in parts of the communication
system will also form new elements. Systems formed in groups, for example, will form norms, culture
and practices which change the patterns of communication which determine the success or failure of
team spirit. In a personal relationship, the element of trust is important and a betrayal of trust may
change the relationship between people. In communication between people, the existing system gives
an impact and influences the communication process. To form interpretation in communication, each
individual must take into account the system in which the communication takes place. Components in
the system form interacting elements when communication happens. Something that happens to the
system gives impact not only on one system but also on a bigger and more complex system where
relationships exist. Implications of domestic dispute between husband and wife, for example, are not
only on the family system at home but also on the one that exists in the workplace. Every system
formed will not always undergo a balanced situation all the time. Change is certain to happen and it will
threaten or disturb the internal and 4 external system. Therefore, people have to adapt to a system or
systems in order to meet communication needs in various contexts. A person may possess the skill to
communicate but communication will fail if one cannot adapt to different situations.
• 4.2 COMMUNICATION AND SELF-IDENTITY
• The theory on self-identity is seen from various psychological view points. An individuals
behaviour changes according to requirements. At the same time, changes also take place in the
environment. Experience, for example, may change a person and shape his self-identity. Wood
(2001) regards the concept of self-identity as a process. This process can be seen through
interactions within ourselves, between ourselves and other people and among members of a
group. Basically, communication comes from within ourselves and will end up also within
ourselves. This is because communication plays an important role in the formation of self-
identity. A person cannot explain an idea, declare needs or interact effectively, without
communication. When we communicate, consciously or not, we are making codes in our mind
which are based on our emotions to be interpreted by others. Similarly, how we view ourselves
influence the way we communicate. Based on the relationship that is established,
communication plays an important role in the formation of self-identity and how an individual
perceives himself. A persons self-identity depends on the image that he/she puts forward.
Signs of self-identity may be seen through the style displayed by certain individuals such as
their dressing, hairstyles, non-verbal behaviours, personal accessories and home decor, all of
which influence other peoples views of them. The general perception of a person involves how
other people look at that person. Their perception of that person will determine the way they
accept him.
• The impression that you think you have formed on this group of people may cause you to
improve your self-confidence and self-esteem or vice-versa. Several important concepts
relevant to self-identity such as self-concept and how it is formed; self-awareness; and self-
disclosure (see Figure 4.1) will be discussed in the following sub-topics. Figure 4.1: Concept
relevant to self-identity
• 4.2.1 Self-concept and Communication
• The concept of self-identity and self-concept are very synonymous. As in the case of
communication, self-identity or self-concept is a process which has neither a specific
beginning nor end. It always changes according to contexts, events, time, and place. It is
closely related to others perceptions of oneself which will mould ones behaviour and
simultaneously shape his image. Knowing oneself is not easy. A person learns many
things about himself through his own life experiences. The perception of a person of
himself is founded on his new and old experiences and the background of the culture
he practises. Therefore, having a stable self-concept will cause a person to have a
positive selfimage as he only focuses on the strengths that he possesses. Sometimes a
person may not know himself despite having gone through various experiences in his
life. As a normal person, he may have certain strengths or weaknesses. Knowing the
„self requires a person to evaluate himself from his own point of view and from othersÊ
opinions of him. This also includes what is thought about him and the beliefs that he
upholds about himself. The combination of attitudes and beliefs upheld by a person is
formed throughout his life experience. It is this perception and view that are formed
within a person that mould actions depicting his self-identity in various activities. A
psychology expert, Karen Horney, defined „self as the strength present in each person
which is unique to him that serves as a basis for building self (Beebe, Beebe and
Redmund, 1999).
• There are two components in self-identity. They are self-image and self-esteem (see
Figure 4.2). Self-image is the picture that a person desires to portray of himself,
whereas self-esteem explores to what extent that person may evaluate and accept
himself based on his social, physical and psychological attributes (Gamble & Gamble,
2002) (Seller & Beall, 2002).
• Considering that the concept of „self is important in each action to communicate, self-
concept and self-awareness influence the positive or negative patterns of
communication (DeVito, 2002). By trusting oneÊs own ability and the perception of
others on ones own capability, one can influence ones action and behaviour towards
his self-esteem. There are many ways a person may learn about himself. Psychology
and sociology experts have identified four events or situations which can help
individuals to learn about themselves. (Figure 4.3) Self-concept and how one looks at
himself influence how we communicate and provide feedback to others. Besides
looking at oneself based on the depiction by others of oneself, another important
factor in knowing oneself is to make social comparison between oneself and others. By
doing this, a person may have the opportunity to learn and select what is best for him
as this indirectly enables him to look at himself from a different perspective. The
concept known as „self-fulfilling prophecy states that the view held by a person of him
would influence his action or behaviour in certain situations. Therefore, if a person
wishes to enhance or improve his communication with another, he must re-evaluate
the self-identity that he has been displaying.
• The factors that contribute to a personÊs self-concept are:
• Image given by others; Social comparison;
• Practices, norms and culture; and Interpretation and evaluation. (a) Image Given By Others Self-
concept is formed by various factors. Interactions with other people actually help a person to know
himself. The image that the person is portraying while he is interacting with these people reflects the self.
It is as if he is looking at his own reflection. For example, the feedback that one gets from work
colleagues after completing a job. It is this feedback that forms the individualÊs self-identity. A personÊs
self-identity is also influenced by his friends who include those whom he met during childhood, at
school, at the workplace, places of exercise, as well as his own life partner.
• (b) Social Comparison Ones association with ethnic, professional, social or even political groups are very
significant in the formation of his/her self-identity. A person is labelled according to the group he
associates himself with. Self-symbolism also influences the formation of self-identity. What is desired or
dreamed of by a person always changes according to self requirements and desires. This happens how a
person views, monitors and evaluates himself so much so he realises the need to form new roles. This
will finally form his self-identity.
• (c) Practices, Norms and Culture Each individual may feel that he has certain roles to play, for example,
the role of a son to his mother, a husband to his wife, a father to his children, a friend to his friends, a
student to his teacher or the role of a matured person. The roles that a person plays also depend on
gender. These roles in turn influence the formation of self-identity. In life, those who have close
relationships with the person contribute to the formation of his „self. Close family members such as
parents, brothers and sisters are very significant contributors to the self of a child. In certain situations
where close relations between the family and extended family members exist, the grandfather,
grandmother and other close relatives also help in the process of building oneÊs self. When we reach
adulthood, people around us such as friends, teachers or colleagues influence the formation of our self-
identity.
(d) Interpretation and Evaluation Perception is also an active process closely
related with the interpretation of situations, a person or an event taking place. The
perception of a person of us contributes towards the perception of our self-
identity. The influence of different perceptions depends on factors such as culture,
social role, physiological capability and cognitive process. All these factors
influence the interpretation of others of us and give impacts on the pattern of
communication within ourselves and with others. There are various initiatives that
can help to strengthen our-self identity and develop an effective communication
style as can be seen in Table 4.1.
Table 4.1: Three Ways to Strengthen Self-Identity and Communication Styles of an
Individual
1. Recollect positive qualities such as those which brought success or increased
ability to mix with others. For example, the ability to overcome weaknesses and
plan ahead for the future in a more organised way.
2. Anticipate what may happen and think of ways of overcoming difficult situations
or think of how to avoid problems.
3. Create jokes and humour in daily life to assist in reducing tension.
• 4.2.2 Gender and the Formation of Self One of the concepts in knowing oneself is
the cultural perspective on genus or gender. Gender is an important element in
forming oneÊs „selfwhich is often related to social identity. Gender is often taken
to mean male or female although it is not accepted universally as such and often
debated. Psychoanalytic theory states that the disclosure of „sense and gender
happens while we were a baby and we grew with responses from people around
us. Therefore, identity takes place when gender becomes part of a personÊs self
concept. A „masculine character is normally associated with those who are firm,
have material success and a strong physical body. A „feminine character, on the
other hand, refers to those who are refined and gentle; interested in improving
the quality of life. Masculine individuals tend to be uncompromising and direct,
while feminine people prefer to compromise when solving conflicts. A baby is
labelled by its gender and its life is patterned since birth. This happens for
example through the selection of colour, types of toys and particularly by the
choice of names given to it. Indirectly, the characteristics related to oneÊs sex
result in a gender stereotyping and this perception influences the „self of the
baby as it grows into an adult.
• The differences in life expectations and patterns between male and female can be seen
in the following: (a) Listening Women are brought up to be attentive while listening to
people. They are also asked to give their responses. Such responses refer to their
interests in the topics of their conversation. Men will usually make statements when
they feel that they have something they want to say. At the workplace and in personal
relationships, women always deem men as not maximising the listening process
because of their less expressive self-identities. Like women, men have their own views
of womens responses. They often think womens responses to be annoying and only
demanding for attention. (b) Level of Friendliness Wood (2001) states that gender does
not influence the way men and women look at friendliness as an important aspect in
socialising. What differentiates the two is the aspect of how they create and sense
friendliness. Women are found to be freer in voicing out their opinions and feelings as a
way to create friendliness. This is also known as „closeness in dialogue. Men, however,
are just the opposite. Friendliness will only result from an activity carried out with
another person. This is called „closeness in doing. (c) Perception towards Power There
are obvious differences in gender perception on power (Wood, 2001). Normally, a man
considers power as something already vested in him and should be used to raise the
status of an individual. Women use it to empower other individuals and directly create
a collaborative situation.
• 4.2.3 Communication Skills in the Process of Initiating Interaction Caputo, Hazel and McMahon (1994)
explain that several communication skills must be possessed by a person in the process of initiating an
interaction or forming a relationship. How other people look at us is related to a communication style
that has a close relation with the self-identity of a person. A person without the communication skills
would sometimes stay away from any interaction with others. This will definitely influence his way of
communicating with others and how others communicate with him. Based on the perception and
assumption of a person on the others, how a person receives another, influences the communication
climate. What are the steps that can be taken to ensure good perceptions of a person?
• (a) The First Step in Communicating Before initiating a relation or interaction with a person, we must
ensure we have a personable approaoch and pleasant appearance. This makes it easier in order to be
accepted as a friend, acquaintance, colleague or life partner. An interaction that is started with friendly
words, casual talk and other suitable situation helps a person to have good early communication and
thus assists in forming good relations.
• (b) Initial Interaction Casual chat at the beginning of a conversation is a social skill that enables us to
know other people. It can be done by trying to know and remembering some information about the
background of a new friend. A smile, sociability and friendliness will leave a good psychological effect on
the relationship formed. And so does essential information such as name, place of stay, etc. They all
may help to make a relationship closer as well as improve the conversation process. Remembering
previous discussions will also help. The habits of criticising or raising negative matters regarding you,
other people or organisation will cloud the conversation climate. In certain conditions, eye contact is
important because it often shows our sincerity while communicating. It is also a norm of
communication, i.e. showing courtesy in communication. If the discussion runs well, the communication
process that has taken place has the potential to reach a level of relationship which is more personal.
• 4.2.4 How to Reduce Uncertainties in Communication There are several strategies that
can be used in establishing relationship and ensuring the communication process
running smoothly. Openness/Self -disclosure Studies show that openness or self-
disclosure is effective in understanding and learning about other individuals. Openness
in communication happens when an individual openly communicates with one or more
individuals about himself. The process of self-disclosure would create understanding
between the individuals involved which takes this relationship to a level of friendship.
This relationship will also improve further when the individuals concerned feel that they
are being appreciated. In addition, this will also help reduce uncertainty in the
relationship established between the individuals. The process of self-disclosure may
take place if the following happens: (a) It is not random but continuous; (b) There must
be give and take on both sides; (c) The relationship is meaningful; and (d) The
relationship affects other people. Before we begin a communication process, we must
know our own level of motivation. Understanding self-concept is important because it
helps us to determine the information that we want to share with others. In conclusion,
although we share information with others in the self-disclosure process, we must also
be intelligent enough in not disclosing important information that we consider very
personal or this may spoil the communication process.
• COMMUNICATION WITH FAMILY MEMBERS We have discussed the question of gender in self-identity
formation. Every individual was brought up in a family. The early education and the interaction between
family members indirectly form the self-identity of a person. In other words, parents and other family
members make us what we are. A personÊs life is shaped by his familial experience which in turn shapes
his self-identity and he communicates. Familial experience is indeed a strong influence in a personÊs life
development. Every person originates from a family. The concept of family differs from one society to
another. A family normally means a group of people who are related to one another and who stay and
share their lives together. The family system formed requires its members to interact and share
responsibilities between them at interpersonal levels. Therefore, a person must examine the pattern of
interactions within a family system in order to understand not only about himself but also the human
relations which form the relationship in the family. This will subsequently help in evaluating oneself and
the family and later in establishing an effective way of communication and how we adapt ourselves with
other members of society around us. A person cannot run away from being involved in some kind of
family life. The relationship that exists sometimes looks fine but at other times is full of problems.
Therefore, the roles of a family member keep changing according to situations, experiences and time.
The needs of a family may also influence its memberÊs interactions. Human relations are complex and
subjective, especially with regards to family members. However, family relationship is the basis for
knowing social relationship. Considering every family has its own social life, understanding family
relations is essential. An intimate relationship between family members provides physical or emotional
support. Upbringing and family life practices give rise to the concept of self-values, personal strength,
personality and self-identity of a person. A person is often evaluated based on his deeds and his origin.
• 4.3.1 Communication in Family System Considering that communication in a family system is symbolic, the focus
of communication should be on the family as a whole and not on individuals making up the family. Therefore, in
the process of understanding communication in the family, the context of communication in the family system as a
whole should be examined first. The theory in family system regards family as a dynamic system because
relationship and communication in it are closely related. Family life style is a universal experience for everyone.
Although a family may consists of members who look like isolated individuals in actuality, they are a unit. A
conflict between an elder brother and the father has many implications on the daily situation of the family of
which they are a part. So does the birth of the fifth child which may certainly affect all the other family members.
The approach to family system in general looks at the family as a distinct unit or system. The bigger the family, the
more complex the relations that exist between the family members. A family communication process results from
interactive relations and interdependence among family members. This process takes place through the
generation of messages delivered through the family network. We can observe four main points in the
communication concept of a family system. They are as follows: (a) There is no such things as an ideal family. This
is only a communication myth although it is undeniable that each member in the family system attempts to form a
distinctive identity as a result of both happy and sad experiences in their lives. (b) Communication in a family
system is a process that happens when a family member discusses and shares meaning with other members of the
same family. Through this interaction, we shape and determine the identities and relationships of the members
within the family and society. (c) A healthy family will attempt to adapt and shape changes in order to maintain
closeness within the family as well as control and handle any conflicts. (d) The family is the best example of the
context of communication involving multiple generations, that is, from the smallest members of family to the
adults and the elderly. The family system is a very complex system. It is formed by the process that takes place in
the components of the system. If a component changes, the other components will respond to this change, either
by also changing or merely accepting the influence adapted from such changes. Littlejohn (1983) states that a
system consists of four elements that can be applied to understand the system in a family. The elements meant
here are object, characteristics or features, relationship and environment. Although the system may be of the
closed or open type, the four elements must be allowed to play their roles so that the system can function to
ensure the well being, of the social system, organisation, individual or the family system itself (see Figure 4.4).
• Whatever form of family, communication plays an important role in determining
the quality of life in its system. Many studies have been done on communication
in family relationship which reveals that among the source of problems in the
family is lack of communication process.
• 4.3.2 Importance of Communication in a Family System Quality family
communication is essential to establish a harmonious relation among family
members based on the following characteristics (see Figure 4.5).
(a) Interdependence among Family Members Each member of a family system
relates to another. They need each other so that the system can function
efficaciously and effectively. The behaviour of an individual will influence and give
a long-term effect emotionally and psychologically on other members of the family.
Therefore, there must be poise in the way they behave so as to maintain the
communication in the family system.
(b) A Distinctive System Each family has special norms to guide their behaviour in
order to be appropriate with the way of life the family practises. These behaviours
are reciprocal in nature, have certain patterns and are repetitive. They are seen as
unique or even strange and sometimes confusing to individuals who are not family
members. (c) Complex Interactive Response Family members vary in the way they
behave and this may lead to complex responses given by other members.
Sometimes, these responses are illogical because they may arise as a result of
problems in the family.
• Based on the above example, we can observe an interactive process in a family
system. Busy parents may neglect their responsibilities and do not give sufficient
attention to their child. Therefore, the child feels neglected and may commit a
blunder such as telling a lie in his effort to attract his parentsÊ attention. When
the parents realise the situation and begin to pay attention to him, he will
motivate them to change their attitudes. This may induce parents to give more
attention to the child. This interactive process usually takes place repetitively in a
family system.
• (d) Self-adaptation Communication as a system needs equilibrium. However, a
balanced situation is rather difficult to achieve especially in a very complex
family system. Therefore, to attain equilibrium, every family member should be
able to adapt him/herself to any form of change regardless of whether it is
expected or not. The change that happens is a part of a family life experience.
This is because a family is not a system that has permanent features. The family
system may often change to create integration and evolution in the process of
establishing effective communication.
• (e) Openness A family system is a part of an open social system. Practising
openness in the family involves a healthy communication process among family
members. Only by being open, can a person be easily understood. In a family
institution, interactions often take place between social system and other
systems such as those of education, health, economic, etc. Communication
activities in such systems can be of a positive or negative nature to ensure the
social system continues to operate in harmonious and stable circumstances. If a
similar situation is applied in a family system, harmonious communication is sure
to take place.
• (f) Need for Information Sharing Every family system needs a mechanism to
facilitate the communication process between each family member. Information
sharing has implications on the relationships between family members. However,
not all family members share the same kind of information. Information sharing
may be conflicting in nature, causing either a relationship to become closer or
sometimes raising misunderstanding among family members. Nonetheless,
information sharing is very essential in helping to create uniformity, stability,
integration and coordination in a family system.
• Communication is always seen as a transactional process which involves the
process of establishing and sharing meaning. Behaviours in communication with
family members are similar to those which assist us in delivering messages
effectively to other receivers, for example, the behaviour that we adopt while
delivering a meaningful speech. Supportive messages in family relationship
provide children with confidence and at the same time instil a strong sense of
self identity in them. This may be seen in the case of giving children stimulating
and motivating words before they sit for an examination. Such speech not only
encourages someone to feel appreciated, but also enhances his confidence
when facing and communicating with others, outside the family system.
Messages in the form of control inform the family members that there are
certain rules in the family. It explains what kinds of behaviour are accepted in
the family,