Waiting For The One

5 TRUTHS THAT HELPED SET ME UP TO MEET AND

MARRY THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

Copyright © 2020 Stefanie Rouse

Publisher: Caleb Rouse & Stefanie Rouse
Author: Stefanie Rouse
Formatted by: Caleb Rouse
Cover Art By: Caleb Rouse
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced
or modified in any form, including photocopying, recording,
or by any information storage and retrieval system, without
permission in writing from the publisher.
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Disclaimer: The content in this devotional although rooted
in Biblical principles are the expressed interpretations and
opinions of Caleb & Stefanie Rouse. We are not licensed
professionals. There are certain situations in a marriage or
relationship that may need the assistance of professionals or
authorities, such as abuse. Please do not hesitate to seek
professional help.

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 Dedication
Jesus, you save me. You got me out of the slimy pit
and give me a firm place to stand. You keep putting
a new song in my mouth. I pray that whoever reads
the words of this devotional will be touched my
your love. Thanks for rescuing me from all the sit-
uations I talk about in these pages. You are every-
thing to me, Lord.
Caleb, you are the love of my life. I thank God ev-
eryday that He put you in my path. Thanks for your
forgiveness, patience, kindness and love. Thanks
for wanting to work and grow on our marriage ev-
eryday. Thanks for allowing me to dream with you.
You’re my best friend and my hero.

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 Contents
Dedication 3
A Special Note To You 5

Day 1: Our Worth Is In Jesus 7

Day 2: God Is Our Provider 10
Day 3: We Are God’s Beloved 13
Day 4: Forgiven, Chosen, Loved 16
Day 5: God Has A Plan 19

Looking For More? 23

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 A Special Note to You
Dear Sister,

I’m sitting here thinking and praying for you. I remember going to
bed every night lonely, longing for someone kind to do life with.
After my broken engagement I was so confused. On paper, every-
thing looked perfect in our relationship. The list of all the things
I thought that mattered in a relationship were all checked off my
list. But May 23, 2009 was supposed to be my wedding date. The
wedding was planned and mostly paid for… by my parents. But he
dumped me on Valentines Day that year. My life was flipped up-
side down. What did this mean about my “list” of what I wanted for
marriage?

As I sought desperately to learn about how to be better at relation-

ships, I started realizing a lot of the things I cared about didn’t real-
ly matter in the grand scheme of things. A lot of things I didn’t even
think mattered, mattered a whole lot more.

A year after I got dumped, I drove across the country to get my

Masters in Marriage & Family Therapy. At the time, I was working
in youth ministry. So many of the students had such a rough time
with family relationships. Even their parents often came to me for
advice about their pending divorce and the hardship it was on their
family. I wanted to be better equipped to handle these situations. So
I traveled the 2,560 miles from State College, PA where I was liv-
ing and doing ministry to Pasadena, CA to go to Fuller Seminary.

The information they taught me there has changed my life forever.

As I started learning and digesting the information, I kept thinking
“why isn’t everyone taught these relationship tactics?” I knew if I

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 A Special Note to You
had known the information I now have I could have saved myself a
lot of heartache. As I’ve continued to be inquisitive and work with
some of the best in the relationship business, I’ve learned so much
more that I don’t want to just keep for myself.

In this 5 day devotional, I hope to give you a few of the keys that
helped me meet Caleb. Of course I can’t fit all the goodness in a
short devotional, but have more resources for you too.

So bestie, this one is for you. I’m spilling some of my secrets; 5 lies
that hindered me from recognizing a relationship that wasn’t right
for me, and 5 truths that helped set me up to meet and marry the
love of my life.

Love, Stefanie

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 Day 1

Our worth Is In Jesus

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully
made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
- Psalm 139:14

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but

Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by
faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for
me.” - Galatians 2:20

“The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew
and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had
its foundation on the rock.”- Matthew 7:25

Lie 1: Attention from men = My Worth

I had an addiction to male attention. I was convinced that
my worth was dependent on the opposite sex. If males were
giving me attention; I thought that meant I was good enough,
pretty enough, smart enough. I had an insatiable need for ad-
miration. I was blind to this lie I so deeply believed in my
heart. It wasn’t until after my broken engagement that I real-
ized what a hold this lie had over me and the decisions I was
making. During that time, God taught me that the only solid
foundation for my worth is in Him alone.

My eyes were opened to the ways I was dependent on the

affirmation of others. I looked back at past relationships and
realized I was changing parts of who God made me to be in the
hopes of being more accepted by that person I was interested
in. It wasn’t until I allowed God to empty me of who I thought
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 Day 1

Our worth Is In Jesus

I should be for others, and asked Him to only pour back in who
He actually created me to be. I was no longer willing to sacri-
fice the unique person God created me to be in order to fit into
someone else’s life. When I met Caleb, he was walking into
who he was becoming in Christ. We both weren’t willing to
put on any ‘act’ or ‘facade’ for each other. We were real. We’re
still real with each other. We both had/have hearts to keep
growing into who God says we are, and to keep letting go of
doing things that don’t line up with our purpose.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made by the God who

created the universe. He sees you. He chooses you. He has an
amazing plan and purpose for your life. He wants to help rid
you of the burdens you’ve been carrying; from sins of others
and you. He wants to help walk you into His fullness. This
isn’t a burden to walk with Him, it’s an adventure. He takes the
load and gives you enough grace and growth for each day as
you seek Him first. He whispers in the stillness to you often:
you are mine forever, I adore you _______________________
(fill in the blank with your name).

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 Day 1

Our worth Is In Jesus

Challenge
Journal with God. Ask him where you’ve been trying to get
your identity from others. What parts of you need to be emp-
tied in order to be filled again with God’s truth & love?

Prayer
Dear Jesus,

Let your daughter know how fearfully and wonderfully made

you have made her. Let your words of truth sink in deeper to-
day Lord. Help her to let go of the burden of trying to preform
for others in search of validation. Help her walk into her true
self in you. Amen.

Truth to combat the Lie

We’re worth far more than jewels. We’re God’s beloved. We’re
enough in Him. We’re made unique and for a special purpose
in Him. Doing things for the approval of others is a trap, doing
this out of our love for God sets us free. “On Christ the solid
rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand, all other ground
is sinking sand.”

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 Day 2

God Is Our Provider

“Keep your lives free from the love of money and be con-
tent with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I
leave you; never will I forsake you.” - Hebrews 13:5

 “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one
and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and de-
spise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.”
- Matthew 6:24

“And my God will supply every need of yours according to

his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” - Philippians 4:19

Lie 2: Money Buys Happiness

I know that I’m not the only girl that stopped listening
to the Holy Spirit/ her gut because money was a hidden idol.
I can remember laying on the grass outside my ex-finances
house while we were still together and in the midst of wedding
planning. Something felt off. I felt a deep pit in the bottom of
my stomach. But I had been so used to pushing aside that feel-
ing. I felt like I loved God with all my heart. But to be honest
I was holding onto a lot of lies that were hindering me to truly
surrender my heart to God. I had a lot of idols.

I wouldn’t even say that I was materialistic, but I grew up

with words spoken over me “make sure he’s rich.” “You need
to be well taken care of.” Subconsciously, marrying someone
with money and the “security” that came with it had become
an idol to me.
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 Day 2

God Is Our Provider

I had no idea when I started dating this man that he had
a great deal of family money. He was the head of a ministry,
which had a very low salary so I wasn’t aware of how much
that mattered to me. But when I found out how much money
they had, and as our relationship grew and I started seeing red
flags, I stopped listening to my gut. “I’ll be well taken care of
if I marry him.”

Money is of course important in life. But making mon-

ey our hope, our god, our provider will always leave us emp-
ty. Chasing a guy or staying with a guy just for his money is
a huge trap. Also, I realized that money was a way for me to
escape or mask my problems. As I unpeeled the layers of what
I was using my money for and the reasons behind it, it became
clear I needed an adjustment.

Make God your first desire. In that deep place of your

heart and head allow the knowledge of Him being your provid-
er to surround you with peace. Being married to Caleb, who
doesn’t come from much money, but is interested in always
using his money to honor God, tithe, bless others & continual-
ly surrendering the hold it has over us makes me much happier
than feeling like a slave to money.

Instead of focusing on how much money someone has,

what if we looked at how disciplined they are. How much
self-control they exhibited. How generous they are with others.
Learning lies we’ve believed about money, using our money
wisely, and knowing every good gift comes from God; puts
money in its rightful place in our lives. Learning about God
being our ultimate provider takes a load off our chest.
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 Day 2

God Is Our Provider

Challenge
What idols might be hindering me from putting God first?
Ask God. Write down the list. Pray to surrender them to Him.
If you’re looking for an extra challenge, find a good money
mentor like Dave Ramsey to help you have a good mindset on
money.

Prayer
Dear Jesus,
It’s so easy to let our dependency on earthly comforts come
before the unending, unshakable eternity comfort that is in
you. We admit to struggle with putting material things in front
of eternal things. Help us to put you first, and put money in its
rightful place. Amen.

Truth to combat the Lie

God is our provider. He gives us life, breath & everything else.
Every good gift comes from His hand.

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 Day 3

We Are God's Beloved

“Speak up, judge righteously, and defend the cause of the op-
pressed and needy. Who can find a wife of noble character?
She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her hus-
band trusts in her, and he will not lack anything good.”
-Proverbs 31:9-11

Lie 3: Status = Fulfillment

We are all looking to be fulfilled in our life. The maga-
zines and movies are filled with people of money and influence
screaming to us, if we become more like them, then we will be
happy.

I know so many women who seek men of power. But

does that actually make the women happy? The status of my ex
being the “head” of a certain ministry meant something to me.
I masked this to myself as someone who is a great leader. But
internally I was looking for fulfillment from someone else’s
status. It’s ok to look up to characteristics of a good leader. To
admire the way they lead. But to try to have our worth based
on someone else’s success is very destructive. If we choose
someone based on these external things, it will leave us very
disappointed in the long run. Status changes. People lose their
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 Day 3

We Are God's Beloved

jobs. Power of man never lasts. But God’s love always does.

I wish I could have known about the internal lies I was
believing about power and status. I had a craving to be with
someone of influence so that I could be important. I think this
desire started early on from dating the quarterback of the foot-
ball team. I liked the feeling of being known. Being important.
Because of who I was dating. And when I dated this guy who
was the head of the ministry I felt a very similar way. In our
community he was highly respected and looked up to. People
found me important because they found him important.

Liking someone for the way the look can also prove to be
a snare. Attraction I believe is an important aspect about re-
lationship. But just liking someone for their body or the way
they look will hinder you from learning who they really are.
God has been helping break these lies in me. Social media fol-
lowers, their job title, status, only go so far. These things are
fleeting. What is eternal is having our worth in Christ. Defend-
ing the cause of the needy. Feeding the hungry. Helping those
in need. Loving others out of the love of Christ. These qualities
are much more important for eternity.

As we gain confidence in our own identity in Christ, the

love that status=fulfillment slips away. We no longer will be
drawn to someone just so our internal need for validation from
others will be filled. Instead, we will be able to see people’s
hearts. Their character in Christ. Their friendship and how they
treat you. That lasts far longer than someones ever changing
status.

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 Day 3

We Are God's Beloved

Challenge
Have you ever been attracted to someone just because of their
status, power or appearance? Ask God to help you uncover the
reason why. Ask God to peal the layers back to see the person’s
true character apart from their position in this world.

Prayer
Dear Jesus,

I confess that I’ve been drawn to others because of external

things. But I know what matters more in someone’s true char-
acter, the way they go after you, the way they love me, the way
they treat others. Help me to choose someone based on things
that will last. Amen.

Truth to combat the Lie

We’re worth far more than jewels. We’re God’s beloved. We
are already worth so much in God’s eyes. This truth helps us
to let go of the need to be with someone so it could raise our
earthly status.

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 Day 4

Forgiven, Chosen, Loved

“Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though
your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red like crimson, they shall become like
wool.” - Isaiah 1:18

“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of

your heart.” - Psalm 37:4

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you
hope and a future.” - Jeremiah 29:11

Lie 4: Sexual Sin Doesn't Matter,

God wants to Punish me
I was ashamed of my past. Once I became a Christian I
realized that having sex outside of marriage was not what God
called us to in His word. I asked God for forgiveness for ev-
erything that I had done that had not honored Him. I was try-
ing to receive God’s forgiveness for my past, but shame clung
so close to my heart. I believe the enemy was using the shame
of my past to trap me.

I can remember dating a guy after I became a Christian. I

wasn’t attracted to him. And I thought I might marry this man.
I had vowed to God not to have sex until marriage But that
was easy with this person since the thought of marrying him
and having sex made me queasy. I had the hidden lie that “I
deserved punishment from God.” I thought I was still supposed
to marry him, even though I wasn’t attracted to him, out of
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 Day 4

Forgiven, Chosen, Loved

God’s punishment for me for past sexual sins. WOW was this
twisted!

You might have a very different story than me, but all of
us face areas of shame over our lives. Those areas of shame,
not healed by God, can really distort God’s truth for our lives.
You could have areas in your life that you’ve been willing to
settle for less than God’s best for you based on the lie “I don’t
deserve it” or “this is my punishment.”

The truth is God sees us as white as snow. We can repent

of our sin and walk in a new path. Shame is undone by what
Jesus did on the cross. God isn’t looking to punish us for what
He already paid the price for on the cross. He wants to bless us
more abundantly than we could ask, think or imagine. Thank
God he protected me from that relationship continuing. He
opened my eyes up to the lies I was believing. And allowed me
to marry someone I’m very attracted to.

As we take delight in the Lord, He will give us the desires

of our hearts. The more our hearts hunger for God, the more
our desires come in line with God’s desires. God doesn’t want
us to settle for less than His best for us. He has plans to pros-
per you and not to harm you. The relationship He has for you
isn’t going to be perfect, but it will be beautifully laced in His
guidance & grace as we walk with Him.

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 Day 4

Forgiven, Chosen, Loved

Challenge
Journal with God about areas of shame you have over your
life. Ask Him to reveal these to you, and ask Him to show you
how white as snow He’s made you. Journal what lies you have
believed based on shame. Pray that He will help you to break
these lies in your heart.

Prayer
Dear Jesus,

Thank you that you have made your daughter white as snow.
You no longer hold anything from her past against her. You
have great plans for her life. Plans to prosper her and not to
harm her. Plans to give her a hope and a future. Help her to
walk in purity, integrity, purpose and truth today father. In Je-
sus’ name, Amen.

Truth to combat the Lie

God has plans to prosper me! I’m forgiven, chosen, loved. I
am free from shame in Christ! I can walk out in the truth of
who God says I am!

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 Day 5

God Has A Plan

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the
Law?”Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your
heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is
the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like
it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. - Matthew 22: 36-39

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance,

kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
Against such things there is no law.” -Galatians 5:22-23

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your
own understanding; in all your ways submit to him,  and he
will make your paths straight. -Proverbs 3:5-6 n (NIV)

Lie #5: My little secret list/horoscope/

magazine will show me who to marry.
Did any of you play those games made out of paper that
told you who you would marry? What about horoscopes?
Quizzes in magazines? Yep, I did them all. I didn’t think they
held any weight in my life. But after examining, I realized do-
ing these things created little lies that ran deep.

I found this out after my broken engagement. On paper,

everything looked perfect in our relationship. I had a little se-
cret list, and my ex checked all the boxes.

Here is some of that old list:

-A Christian (seems good on the surface but I’ll get to this one
later)
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 Day 5

God Has A Plan

- For his last name to start with S. My first name is Stefanie
and my maiden name is Stack. I always loved the alliteration
in my name (His last name started with S)
-I love my family and wanted to marry someone who’s family
lived very close to mine. So we could have holidays with both
parents easily. (His parents lived 5/10 minutes away from my
parents house)
-I wanted to marry someone who was well off. (His parents
had millions)
-He had to be a Steelers fan (he was a big fan!)
-Head of an organization (he was the head of a ministry)

Even though my gut was SCREAMING at me to get out

of the relationship, he checked off my secret list. Even my
“Christian” check off was hindering me. Just because he is a
Christian, doesn’t make him a good potential spouse. And this
list was really making minor things major.
God taught me that being superstitious and looking to
anyone else for guidance but Him and other godly counsel was
an idol. Only One created us and knows us intimately. A quiz,
fortune teller, horoscopes did not create us. I truly repented
to giving any weight to my old list and my old guides. I asked
God to be my only guide along with wise counsel of who I
should marry. I got so close to God, listened to Him, to the
Holy Spirit and threw out all my destructive sources.

As I learned more about what makes relationships thrive,

my list looks very different. I took time with God and started
praying for my future husband. And thank God I didn’t stick
to my list. What I’ve found is most important is that we both

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 Day 5

God Has A Plan

love God with our whole hearts. We feel that we can be com-
pletely ourselves around each other. We don’t put on an act and
are best friends. I feel free to be me when I am with Caleb. In
the past relationship I felt suffocated and like I was walking
around on eggshells.

When I made my list with God, it didn’t have to do with

trivial things that didn’t matter. And I was able to focus less on
the list and more on praying that God would help make me the
woman he wanted me to be for my future husband. That we’d
both be growing in the fruits of the spirit. That we’d both grow
in loving God and loving others.

Some of the things on my new list:

- Love God with all his heart
- Shows kindness and compassion to others
- Exhibits the fruits of the spirit
- Is willing to be moved by God in little and big things in life
- That we’d be best friends forever

God is a good father and a good leader. He has an amaz-

ing plan and purpose for your life. When we give Him con-
trol and trust Him, and make time to listen to Him, He makes
our paths straight. You may or may not have a secret list like I
did, but maybe you’ve had false beliefs that are hindering you.
When we focus our eyes on God, He helps us see others and
ourselves through His lens, and not the way the world sees.

God’s going to blow your expectations out of the water.

His plans are so much better than anything we could create for
ourselves.
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 Day 5

God Has A Plan

Challenge
Do you have a secret list of things that you’re requiring for
your future spouse? What about a false set of beliefs? Think
through that list. Do those things truly matter in the big scheme
of things? Have you been holding onto them too tightly? Ask
God to help you create a new list, and more importantly a
prayer you can be praying for you & your future spouse.

Prayer
Dear Jesus,

I’m so sorry we make things more important than they are. I

confess to sometimes focusing on minor things, when you’ve
called me to a bigger purpose. Please help grow me into the
woman that you want me to be. Help my future husband to
seek you first, and love their neighbors well. Help us both
to grow in love and the fruits of the spirit. Help us to be best
friends. Lord, I repent of listening to other things for advice
when you are the author and perfecter of life. Let me let go
of those things and cling to you and your truth only. In Jesus’
name, Amen.
Truth to combat the Lie
God is our mighty counselor and friend. He cares about the
intimate details of our lives. He has amazing plans for our lives
and when we trust Him, He will make our paths straight.

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 Looking for More?
Congrats sister, you finished this 5 day devotional. Putting these challenges to ac-
tion produce results! After reading this, if you’re still longing for more; Caleb &
I have created a 8 week online course that takes all the most tangible information
we’ve found to thrive in relationships. We teach how myself and my clients are
much better prepared to be able to meet the right person and cultivate a thriving
relationship over time. We love our online community of people, with the same
goal of learning how to be healthy in relationships and be able to meet and culti-
vate lasting relationships.

Prayer: Dear Jesus, allow your daughter to experience your unending love for her.
Let her be able to soak in your presence & grace. You have great plans for your
daughter, Lord. Help us to know that with all our hearts, put our trust in you. We
pray that you would help prepare her to continue to walk more into the woman
you’ve planned her to be each day. Help her future husband to seek you first, and
to grow in character and his relationship with You.

You are faithful to guide our steps. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Make sure to connect on Social Media:

Instagram.com/Stefanie.rouse
Facebook.com/Stefanielrouse
Youtube.com/c/stefanieandcaleb
StefanieRouse.com

Online Relationship Course:

CULTIVATE RELATIONSHIP

Our Other Online Resources:

STEFANIE ROUSE LINKS

Can’t wait to talk again soon,

Stefanie

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