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Tatum Howell

Farah Moosa

ENGL 115 University Writing and Research

January 16th 2023

My response to Laila Lalami’s paper

Why is it that I felt uncomfortable talking with the class about Laila Lalami’s work, “My

Life as a Muslim in the West’s ‘Grey Zone’”, even when I agreed with her point of view?

Was it because of the subject material, and the conversation about a systemic and societal racism

issue? I wanted to say more, and put in more of my own opinions in our class discussion about

her article, however just when I found the voice to speak it was quickly swept away by one

thought; “what if you make someone mad with your opinion?” Looking back on it, I feel

confused as to why I thought such a foolish thing, but now that I am sitting writing this paper, I

can’t help but write about it.

In Laila Lalami’s essay “My Life as a Muslim in the West’s ‘Grey Zone’” she brings up

the conversation surrounding the stereotyping and categorization of the Muslim people within

North America and specifically The United States of America. The essay goes over the

uncomfortable position that Muslim people are placed into by both sides of the extremes. In

America, it’s “Either you are with us or you are with the terrorists.”, and in Iran it’s the

abolishment of the “Grey Zone.” I have no problem learning about this terrible position Muslim

people are put in, no issue with critically thinking about it, writing my thoughts down on paper,

however why am I afraid to say what I think? Why do I feel as if I’m not allowed an opinion on

this topic? Why am I afraid to speak up about my thoughts?

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Lalami, in her very first paragraph, tells a story about an encounter she had in Scottsdale,

Arizona while doing a reading. She says, “During the discussion that followed, a woman asked

me to talk about my upbringing in Morocco. It’s natural for readers to be curious about a writer

they've come to hear,” Lalami is clearly uncomfortable about the question, knowing that it’s a

slippery slope down to the uncomfortable conversation of Islam and ISIS. While reading this I

hadn’t thought much, however looking back at it, I can pick out the light prejudice in the

questions Lalami received. I can look back and put myself in that situation, and understand how

that conversation went, yet I can’t understand the uncomfortable feeling that Lalami experiences

each time this happens to her. This, however, doesn’t mean I can’t understand the feeling that the

woman asking may be feeling. That gross shifting in the pit of my stomach when I know I’ve

asked too much and made someone uncomfortable by accidentally asking a question that holds

my own prejudices. I know it well, and I do everything in my power to avoid it.

I won't ever be afraid to admit that I have prejudices, however everyone does, so I don’t

feel too ashamed of them. Yet, for some reason admitting that I have a prejudice as someone who

is very much white, feels wrong. Like I’ve done something nasty and I need to hide it. Of course,

let me clarify, don’t go flaunting your prejudices, but don’t hide from them and pretend they

don’t exist. Working on your own personal biases, and prejudices that you’ve grown up with is

something that is required for growth as a person. Yet, when I try to have a conversation with

other people about a topic regarding a minority or an issue I feel uncomfortable, as if I’m not

allowed to speak on the topic because I’m not a minority. I’ll never experience their suffering,

for example when Lalami is talking about how terrorist attacks affect us all she says “For

Muslims, however, there is an additional layer of grief as we become subjects of

suspicion.”(Lalami 790) I will never, as a white woman, have to experience this racism, and I am
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grateful I never will, however it makes me feel as if the opinions I have and the words I say will

have less meaning, and I’ll be tossed off to the side with a simple, “You’ll never understand,

you’re wrong.”

Lalami begins to make a good comparison between ISIS terrorist attacks, and white men

with shootings in America. “Imagine if, after every mass shooting in a school or a movie theatre

in the United States, young white men in this country were told that they must publicly denounce

gun violence.”(Lalami 790). I understand what she is trying to say, yet it seems as if she is

comparing oranges to mandarins. They’re both orange, but they aren’t the same. If she made this

argument and made the comparison between ISIS terrorist attacks forcing a narrative upon

Muslims, and republican white nationalists giving, white men in particular, this unspoken

requirement to denounce that they aren't radical Trump fanatics. That, I think, would make more

sense.

Yet in 2023 is that not already the case? Each time I’m online, I am always bombarded

with people talking about these white nationalists and getting mad at all white people, white men

in particular. It makes me uncomfortable, and I don’t even want to know how it feels to be a

white man right about now. This opinion isn’t popular, and I understand why, white men and

women have become the topic of public ridicule in the past few years. It’s almost taboo to defend

yourself if you’re white, you’re not allowed to get upset when you’re made fun of, you just have

to take it. If you do get upset? You’re racist, you’re a homophobe, or you’re just ignorant. There

is no winning, you just gotta take it.

A lot has changed since Laila Lalami wrote her essay (specifically the political divide

created by Trump), and in no way do I think the issues she brought up have disappeared. They

still exist, and are very prevalent in this society we live in. Attention should not be brought away
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from these problems that BLM, for example, have brought up. Yet, we can’t allow the solutions

to these difficulties to be targeting another race of people and making them miserable. Misery

only leads to more misery, and then what do we have? Miserable, hateful people, who just want

to be equal but have been pitted against one another in an attempt for equality.

At the end of this essay, I’ve answered my own question. I felt uncomfortable talking

about Laila Lalami’s essay because the tables have begun to turn in no one's favour. That

uncomfortable bubble in the pit of my stomach was fear that I’d have an ‘incorrect’ opinion or

thought, and I would be condemned to be disliked by the whole class. I don’t want to be disliked,

and it’s only human nature to want to belong, however it is becoming unhealthy just how far

some people are willing to go. Me included.

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Works Cited

“Laila Lalami, My Life as a Muslim in the West’s ‘Grey Zone’” The Broadview Anthology of

mmmmmExpository Prose, by Laura Buzzard et al., Broadview Press, Peterborough, Ontario,

mmmmiCanada, 2018, pp. 788–792.